THE AMATEUR BENEFIT 
 
 -000-' 
 
 An Entertainment 
 
 m 
 
 Three Acts 
 
 by 
 
 Bronson Howard. 
 
 —ooo — ■ 
 
 Act Third. 
 
 n^- 
 
<?^ \ .'V 
 
 
\ c t T T I 
 
 O C L • 
 
 ',1 © m o r' a" n' d n ni 
 
 It v;as :ay orijin^l intoi-tioii as I wrote 
 yo'!, tc ha.vo* a "Part FirGt" of t?io -jonefit Perrormanoo to 
 prGcedo th^ foTlov/in;3 burlenqiie* I3ut tho pioco is it 
 star:d3 will probably neod cor-siderablo cond^Dsin^f. I havo 
 therefore oaiittod it. The other \ctn lead directly up to 
 the 'J'lrl^sque by continual r'^fer-^nco to its characters in 
 the r oh tarsal d. " If yo'i v;ish th-a "Part Firct" hov/avor, I 
 will ';rit9 it for yoa with pleasure. T .^ive you, bolov/, a 
 plan of what this part v/ill bo, if you docide tJ^at you 'vin 
 do it. 
 
 rdncoroly, 
 
 Uronsoii Howard. 
 
 Plan of a Propocod "Part First." 
 
 Havo, iri tho 2Gn3ral proQrara..;0, u mir:iat'ire projra.^jo of 
 "Part First" similar to th it of "Faun-of-the-Glen, ** and i.a- 
 mediataly precsdinjj it. Il this pro^^ra,a:io na.ne the two 
 recitations :;5ivon by Harry in the previous acts and also 
 Kitty's song, "In h^er brother's Dross." Have the other 
 son^s, duets .5c. na.iied in t>ie ainiature prorira;a ne all piec- 
 es which are not to be sun;^. Have Harry Opdyke, as ^^oi-er- 
 il manager, apologize away everything, without exception 
 which appears in the prograotje — (other things being sub- 
 stituted,) thus satirizing the 'reijeral \matQur habit of 
 •making nunercus apologies, briefly referred to in Vet 1st, 
 page 0. He would give various fe.ainij:e caprices aiid .aas- 
 culir; : laistak :s as t'lo reasons for the cJianges, The oth.^r 
 acts re::iain as tJiey nov/ stand. 
 
 Various Amateur avfkwardnensos, ir.- the getting on \ud 
 off the stage, introductions, xc, would come in th.is part. 
 The \utI'.or has oaitted everything of this kind, in th -• fol- 
 lowing I'urlesquG, for t^;e reasor: that less eoiild be gained frc 
 
it than from the IJurlesque v/ell ^ictod throughO'iL. 
 
 The "Part First" would bef?iri with «Tho ^ix Halves Trio 
 -iri'd Ovorture." Tho orchoL'.tra havitjf^ played the introdaction, 
 tho nurtain ris3c abOMt fifteon inchon, diGC0V'3riri.^ the lej^s 
 of tho throo 2^''-'t"l--^on (i-- drc-.'-j trov/sers) all standing with 
 thoir Irjickn to the? Curtain, as i f they v/ora lookinrj at tho 
 f>ettin:_f of th'3 scone. The orchastra would bo morrtly depend- 
 odcdupcr.' for the music, hero, but tho jentleraen would sin:^ a 
 trio supported perhaps by the female voices without, Iii each 
 pair of le^^G one foot rises aiid scratches the calf of tho 
 ot'^cr loij in time with .nusic; tl^if:; alternately v/iL': the re- 
 spective pairs, at first, tlien all tor^ether. At the end, tho 
 three pair of lerjs walk off in the same direction. Then 
 th© curtail- rices for Part First, with flit in 'Ic, 1. 
 
 In this part the ladies would appear in elegant evetiiri^j 
 drotioeo, arj rich as desirable. The gentlemen in dr 3G£-GUitc. 
 
F a u n - o f - t h 9 ~ G ^ e n, 
 
 o r 
 
 The C i V i 1 i z G d Indian. 
 
 V ^ocioty Dtaina, 
 
 oco •- 
 
 nharactors. 
 
 Sittiiij^-DovYn-Bulldori* (Chief of the '^ioux.) 
 
 Tco old for Civilization. 
 The Earl of Kensin.^ton. 
 
 The Final Product of Civilization. 
 :iulI-Puppi-9;ik-lJni-^ahI (S. D. Balldofj Jr.) 
 
 K J^emi-Civilized '^woll. 
 War-cloud. 
 
 Civilized up to hie Chin. 
 Favu:--cf-thG-Gloii. (Mir.r. Ilarie Louise Hulldoj.) 
 
 Fully Civilized, and a trifle iaoro. 
 The MarchicncGG of ijelf^ravi.:. . 
 
 \ Flcw<^r of Civilization. 
 
 <^- C E N K. 
 
 The Hrawinn-RooQ for the !^ioux Chief. 
 
 The drav/inj-rocn ir. Eupposed tc open, on or;e side, to 
 the sleepina' apartaent of the Chief and his faraily. Upon 
 th.e other side it opens to his kitchen and tliO 'ireat West. 
 In t!;e distance a view of Early Ilorninr; in Dakota, durin,,{ Oc- 
 tober. In the for 3.-^ro'.iT:'d it is in the month of June, vdlh 
 sunset ofT'Ct. 
 
 ■.'oto to Mana^jeaent -- Pronouiice the naae of Hull-Pupryi-!=:ik- 
 um-'^ah, — T.> ull ~Pupt)i-<^>ik~Ura- ^ah . 
 
Note 
 
 Tho Actir}[^ of t'^i''; l-'irlocquG. 
 
 It irj ab s o I g t o 1 V os r. e n t i .i 1 . for the propor effect of th.^ 
 p.url'3r>q\io, that it bo act^d with as rauch Qari:osti:-OGG and seri- 
 Qurii:oar;. t'TOughout — ao fir xs tho sr-okor: linos are concern- 
 ed as if it w^ro a play of real life, rhe slightest evidence 
 that the actors in> tend to do or say anytliinjj "fui.uy" will de- 
 stroy the toiio of the wh^le piece froa beginninfj to ond» If 
 any "garjG" are iiitf^oduced, the raana<reuien t s'^.o'Jld o::ercise tho 
 ut.uost care to see that they a;^roe jLl. ton e with the rest of 
 the lines, ar^d are not mere jokes to -aake the audience lau;h. 
 The \ ithor, himself, has carefully avoided anythin;'; of this 
 kir.'d, \ pun, however good, v^ould ond::.nr^er the effect of the 
 Vi'hole piece. ^lay it is a ijonuine society drama throuj^hoat. 
 
 n. IF. 
 
c 9 n e.-- 
 
 ( Exterior. Woodland. Ovarhan 
 
 trooa. 
 
 
 Flowers 
 
 etc. 
 
 l]ri; 
 
 ;^ht '^prin.i 
 
 fcli-. : 
 
 0, 
 
 V^ 3 di 
 
 GtaiiC-:? 
 
 :l 
 
 hi;]hly col- 
 
 bred \ 
 
 
 ,an vi. -)■./. 
 
 Ri 3 
 
 in;; 
 
 sun li.jht. 
 
 ;fhi:tr 
 
 
 ■3* n Pain 
 
 tin-, 
 
 M ^i"} > 
 
 \lh lio 
 
 llillu 
 
 in 
 
 c t Ob or " 
 
 a j'Ood .a 
 
 odol x^or 
 
 distan 
 
 GO. 
 
 Or: th 
 
 5 loft 
 
 it 
 
 2 or 3 a 
 
 3<i',i:ili 
 
 d I 
 
 ndi III v/i 
 
 i^v7a..i. 
 
 ^JP 
 
 n, throo 
 
 rour^h 
 
 pol 
 
 03 3il3p'3 
 
 ndin.i 
 
 a 1: 
 
 ottlo ovor 
 
 ,i Tiro 
 
 ' • 
 
 A -st c 
 
 f bri,', 
 
 btl 
 
 y colored 
 
 and vj 
 
 ry 
 
 oloaaut 
 
 d raw in 
 
 j-room farni- 
 
 t'lro diatrib.itoi abo;it stai'iG. \u 
 alaborat:? G?-andoli3r hanun.; 0. V 
 ,;{rand piano ip R. ^.of-g, chairs -^c . 
 )T3:ndGQ:no hall-troo at I, I» iw na^r 
 it .:% small ijilt tai^lo, v/iu'; card ro- 
 ceivor and silver >salv:;r. Centra- 
 tablo dovn: '^. with ornanor^tal bocl Ts 
 cir' ir-atand, cut-rr l .'."■-. d :g -inter of 
 br.indv. ■:laD"^?'^ "^c. \ ritrii-^ of 
 
 '-y f 
 
 '^icalpD and a strir-;^ of v/a.ap u.a on the 
 h^ill-treo; il^^c a toraahav/k ar^d an 
 aiabrella. r"swTr7r?Tr7J^-bTnT"Tn~3pFin^ 
 
 li:.io c 
 
 troo, L. 1. 
 
 with a cord tc bo pullod frc.2 wit'i- 
 
 oit. 
 
 V bjll-ccrd and tassel ]lan;•^ 
 
 in.^ frog the tr :;e, R.l. ii:. , to pull a 
 boll ( wh i ch i s t c be IV oar d vvithoit) 
 
 R. 
 
 Var 
 
 1 >-. 
 
 us 
 
 art id on 
 
 of 
 
 elef^'-an 
 
 t i3 
 
 rio- 
 
 a-brac, 
 
 ct 
 
 
 abc 
 
 It Gt 
 
 ai^e; 
 
 varse 
 
 3 h 
 
 anj>- 
 
 i '• < 
 
 by 
 
 
 rin 
 
 rj3 fro. a 
 
 T K -i 
 
 trees; 
 
 1 
 
 at e:; 
 
 att 
 
 .^Qha 
 
 d 
 
 to 
 
 t?! 
 
 trun 
 
 kli. 
 
 xr> on 
 
 -./al 
 
 " f.". 
 
 of 
 
 dr w'l 
 
 m 
 
 '-r 
 
 ■-■ ' ..i ' 
 
 3, fie 
 
 . uC 
 
 Th 
 
 r* '"> "• 
 
 
 or 
 
 four 
 
 c 
 
 il 
 
 p.^ir 
 
 :tin,i 
 
 l; in 
 
 ;Jllt 
 
 fr i 
 
 .a Jo 
 
 hun 
 
 ;; u]^ 
 
 OI' 
 
 
 Q "} o ' 
 
 on 
 
 0, i 
 
 f roo.a 
 
 on 
 
 
 Gta 
 
 Li " f 
 
 CJt 
 
 and 
 
 ii-i^; 
 
 upon 
 
 :. ]-i 
 
 andGOm 
 
 r\ 
 
 
 eaGol.) 
 
 DiGCovorod:-- Sit Linij-^)o.vn- /Ul 
 
 ' i :. i :; 
 
 sitt 
 
 in,; 
 
 en tJiO 
 
 ,;round, L. C. 
 
 CrCG3-l0,',i 
 
 ed, 
 
 pi ay in 
 
 ;; en a to;a-tcu 
 
 and sj 
 
 uw^in 
 
 
 .aonoto 
 
 nouG Indian Chant. 
 
 'le in 
 
 dres 
 
 cod 
 
 in an 
 
 old blanket; 
 
 old bat t jt 
 
 ed 
 
 hi,vh ha 
 
 t; vest turned 
 
 wron,4 
 
 side 
 
 ou 
 
 t, with 
 
 bri.jht colored 
 
 linin,^; 1 
 
 ^\S-{ 
 
 in.^s; 
 
 an old beaded 
 
noccisiu on on 
 
 foot. 
 
 'vorn aii 
 
 d qii'V- 
 
 dy 
 
 shoo on th 
 
 oth or; 
 
 •/ar-pain 
 
 tl 
 
 Ion;], unkopt, 
 
 straight , 
 
 blach h 
 
 lir. 
 
 Or: 
 
 tho opic'iit 
 
 :- -Jid- cf 
 
 th-; Gta 
 
 ^r •-» 
 
 UL 
 
 Tnrii:.r. in n 
 
 it,ti!:j on 
 
 f Vi r^ -rr'c 
 
 MLd. 
 
 (War-clo'icl) 
 
 : iz c o:u 
 
 plotoly 
 
 onvol- 
 
 op: 
 
 
 ::j:;:t : ^ b 
 
 l;i:.::ot, 
 
 G'lOv;- 
 
 in:j '^i': ho;:: \ 
 
 .;0V.^ it. 
 
 "'in f- 
 
 C J 13 
 
 da 
 
 iply J.r-d Gava^joly ,.i.ir 
 
 -cod Y/ith 
 
 war- 
 
 paint; 
 
 bild sc.lp. ■oxcjdL -I top- 
 
 knot of black hair, fro a \;hich lon,^- 
 caiilj foathors d:?pend do a- his b xc'.:. 
 
 He 
 
 13 
 
 the 
 
 yory pi 
 
 ct 
 
 ar-ij of 
 
 i 
 
 taci 
 
 tarn 
 
 and 
 
 fi 
 
 re ■:; 
 
 Indian 
 
 v/ 
 
 arrior. 
 
 
 ^3 1 
 
 OCkG 
 
 sto 
 
 adi 
 any 
 
 ly b 
 
 ofore h 
 
 i-H 
 
 v;ith : a 
 
 t . 
 
 .■lOV J 
 
 :i-r t 
 
 oi' 
 
 hin 
 
 d, durin,i 
 
 all th 
 
 It 
 
 fcl 
 
 
 unt 
 
 11 
 
 
 is or;. ) 
 
 
 hi'Jic. 
 
 
 Tndi 
 
 an^ 
 
 Chant .J 
 
 "Voices o" tiio Fcroct" 
 
 iJulldo;^. 
 
 This ia .i coaic Indian 
 
 Chan^-, with 
 
 tcia-ton and crchoGtral 
 
 accoapanimont 
 
 aonoton U3 and without 
 
 iint^lish v/ords; 
 
 simply a guttaral rig-n- 
 
 irolo of syll> 
 
 bl93 and nrunts ioitativo of th :■ '.roll 
 knov/n "Tr^dim ^hant** Tho crchostral 
 ace c^r.p an 3 :aor: t .:i'.v ;^i\'"o it v:pio:.v hv 
 
 vari.-ur.' 
 
 un 
 
 xpooto:' rffoctG 
 
 en diffor- 
 
 ont ir«c 
 
 tran 
 
 oiitn. Th:^ C'-a 
 
 n t ^ndr, 
 
 
 V'JiV 
 
 ain, to bo rocurrod to 
 
 fro<iaon 
 
 tiy 
 
 hor jaftor. Tr: 
 
 i::; rofriin 
 
 should 
 
 hiv. 
 
 X livoly ;nolcd 
 
 y, sustain-" 
 
 .d rath 
 
 c r b 
 
 , ti-o lo-d:r'n 
 
 in'-' tru:iio:i t 
 
 th.n by 
 
 tho 
 
 Ginaor; with 
 
 vcico.3 '7it^- 
 
 out, r5 
 
 proG 
 
 ot'tin^j birdr. .;n 
 
 d aL>i:aal2. 
 
 b- .hj 
 
 ctho 
 
 r t'.o ;^3ntloaon 
 
 of tho 
 
 CO: ipany 
 
 • 
 
 \ft2r tha Chmt 
 
 and the 
 
 rofrain 
 
 one 
 
 3 sunr^, "dalldor^ 
 
 risos, 
 
 han^is )\ii^ h 
 
 at and tOip.-tOLa 
 
 on tho h^ll^ 
 
 treo, L 
 
 • cror.:;os to tablo 
 
 "^^ pcura 
 
 
 of 
 
 brindy fro^a cut 
 
 -[ilaGG do- 
 
 cantor; 
 
 drinl'o it; takos 
 
 a cigar 
 
 frca Gt 
 
 and 
 
 and liahtc it. 
 
 Th i r. 
 
 bus in or. 
 
 rj ir^ 
 
 all dclibor^to 
 
 . with a 
 
 slight orchostral acco.apaniQont, 
 
v/hich con 
 
 ; tinu 
 
 OG duriii ; 
 
 th 
 
 folIo\ 
 
 •^iiiH 
 
 addross to th 
 
 \udioDC 
 
 ■3. 
 
 Dulldo;-; 
 
 delivers 
 
 this 
 
 in a Itlain, 
 
 si:apl9 
 
 
 b'-isin^ss- 
 
 ■like 
 
 raanner. 
 
 HO 
 
 ,aay, i 
 
 r do- 
 
 sirable. 
 
 move 
 
 a luxurious 
 
 arm-chair 
 
 to fror.t. 
 
 C. 
 
 and doliv 
 
 or 
 
 part of 
 
 th e 
 
 words r.ittinr ^ 
 
 Bulldog. 
 LadioG arid gentlemen: Tt is evident tc ray mind, that thor? 
 ziust be a.i!;y persons in the Audience who do net fully under- 
 stand the exact moaning of the song, in :ay native Indian lan- 
 guage, v;hich T have junt boon rendering. T make the reaark 
 v/ithout desinnjj to throw any reflection on the high culture 
 of thin audience; and T trust you will not regard mo as ego- 
 tistical, if T take the liberty of explaining to you v/h .it I 
 have been singing, in the simplest possible English* I have 
 been indue 3d to enter into this explanation only at the ear- 
 nest request of the author, I told him it wa:^ hardly fair to 
 ask an Indian V/ar-Chief tc do a thing of this kind, even to ae- 
 coia.uodate an audience; bit the Author insisted that he could^ 
 n't thinl: of any other way to begin the play. Trusting, there- 
 fore, that I shall succeed in making everything sufficiently 
 clear tc you tc enable us to go on v/ith the piece, I will 
 proceed. 
 
 (:,!usic Refrain. 
 
 The 
 
 slight 
 
 orch 
 
 est 
 
 ral 
 
 acco 
 
 .apar 
 
 :i:aent 
 
 sudc 
 
 ieiily swells 
 
 in 
 
 to 
 
 the R 
 
 e frail:; a 
 
 and 
 
 Bull do 
 
 g sin 
 
 as 
 
 it, 
 
 with 
 
 voices 
 
 without as 
 
 befo 
 
 re. 
 
 
 Near 
 
 the 
 
 end, he 
 
 StOF 
 
 >5 abru 
 
 Ptly 
 
 and 
 
 h'l 
 
 ■ shes 
 
 the 
 
 orchei-^- 
 
 tra. ) 
 
 T beg your pardon ladies and gentleiaen, I dropped into ay na- 
 tive dialect again quite unconsciously, \s I was going on 
 to remark; ray name is .*^itting-l)own-Bulldog, I ara Chief of 
 t'-:e Sioux Nation. The L^nited <^.tates Government has placed 
 us on a Roservttion, and it is now trying to civilize us. 
 The experiment has thue fir been highly gratifying in its re- 
 sults. Nearly all the members of the tribe are dead; — or 
 missing . General '^.herman insists that they are missing; 
 and he's try it: g tc find them. 
 
 (Music Refrain. 
 
 The 
 
 accompanimen 
 
 t suddenly 
 
 swells 
 
 into 
 
 the 
 
 refrain 
 
 again; 
 
 Bulldog 
 
 sing 
 
 ir-^rj 
 
 it v/ith 
 
 voices 
 
 and 
 
 hushini:{ 
 
 it abruptly as before.) 
 Civilization- has had the same effect in our l^eservatioi: as on 
 our tribe. Most of that, also, is missing. \i'hat there is 
 
loft of it yo'i GOG b^To^o you. Vaq foroijround balongr. to an. 
 Th<? btcki^rcuH'i baXoiijic; to our -- ' : t -- wind othcrc — ir..' 
 V/ashiri:jtoii xud olc,o\i]\oro» Tho lj.:..- - -irxl iayr.--ir arc inti- 
 ;3ato friorids. )Iq doclir-or. to accipt tho theory th<it any ao.a- 
 borr> of th ? tribo ara uiiasing; and ho contitiuoj; to distr.ibat> 
 blankets a!5 asnal, Ei^'ht thouoand a y^jar. Wo divido thoa 
 equally, ho taken throo fourths, and T havo tho rost. 
 
 ('fo breaks saddonly into Tndin., .i 
 aomont. ''p^akir-:' net c.iii;,ar:'. \ 
 S'3rio3 cf '.-''itliiral . (nintr; '?<;. v/j Lh 
 oarnoc't oxproa;.iQr; ar.-d r_;arjturos, and 
 as if fv? :a:2dior:Ce cculd irKlorntaLd 
 h 1.3 > 
 T^vo 1g ,£iis. half of 'Sinht., -Uid si:: ic tho i2.1]ia.r half. 
 
 ( \tr^ii^ gpo..;kG o.arr;-^Gtly in Tr-di .rj 
 Tho Agoiit say:; I'::; not aaf fici-.?:: tly •'ivilizc'I y- \ •^-.dir- 
 3 taiid ar i thno tic. T don ' t 
 
 V'3 rofrait: d-niin; thi^ ti;ao throti,^ 
 to th } Ofjd.) 
 Tho author orjly desire?? me to add, ladies and gentleman, th'-.t 
 I havo dono =3Vorything ib ay pov/or to assi*?t the Unitoa '^tatir, 
 t'iovori^raori t in itn philai>thropic efforts to civiliz<5 :ay r \ca. 
 T «ont ay or^ly d-uu/^hter to bo od'icatod id N*5v; York, acd fir.— 
 irihsd in Paris; ai.'d T hav6 obtained thi?:. ol®r*;iiit zoi of f ir- 
 r^iturs :it:(l t?io jraxid piar-c, froi the East, at an expenDo of 
 ODo th-usand bl-ir:kotr>. 
 
 (Th7 boll o:: tro^ L> 1. ;;:. rJn,;'"- 
 vicln:tly» ThQ Indian dowf '^, who 
 h .r> la^d ■ L>- nigi: or .uctici. fro:.) tlio 
 ba|ji::f.ir; ,, ri■^:i3 frc; hi:::; bl-iDl::)t, 
 direr: i I.-; it ■ihoro ho :':at. IJa is 
 droG:;e..; ii: :, coaploto dr^jcs-saitj 
 v/ h i t o t i , . . ''•^ X t -5 ri 1 c y e s , polish •:> d 
 boctn, ^tc. ^.c. iLVory thiii:^. bolow hi^ 
 chin t^c pr;r f'?ct t3^'/'3ll w^itor, but 
 tho Ea,T!la-" fcitb :?r3 h'My- dov/n bi^^ ■:)JlC < 
 and hir; txQo li.d scalp aro t^ono of 
 a fi'i?rco I::dli;. v/arrior* \11 bat 
 hio hc?ad n .3 ".)::r; coi;C-al-)d Ur^di^r 
 
 / 
 
 th^ blank ■?t t^ tot'MG ::ic-a^fat. Ifo 
 cro.s r i?n L. v/it' t!io nrav-3 iaai.r;er cf 
 ,a trail: ;d w-iitar, takor; tho silver 
 aalvpr, :ioar h--vll-troj. ai.d ,(03C v^ it 
 
 Oallorsl War nicudl ( Callir.!r{ out .) ,..:*:■- a^w -.,u fi^.a-i. 
 J^oiao of th.'-.t \pacho tribo, T suprc-. 7i r.'Oxt r jOG-rvatioi- t./on- 
 ty-five fe-et squaro, To-uorrov/ is Paio'c ro^jular racoptioij 
 
day — Thursday, 
 
 (Rg-ent'sr tho Indian ^^ervar^t^ L > 1. 
 E. v/ith throo cards on g -Ivor which 
 
 ho t'ikcr> to ■jiUldOf,^ n. 
 
 1 r Q r '3' L"l d ! 
 
 car an » } 
 *«Mrs. Dald-headed-F.agle. " ^lor Hnnband'c entiro irjcome is ci..- 
 ly sevon h^indred blankets — after deductinr; the V^^rit'c <^o:a- 
 ;nission, "Misci Bald-Headed-Ea^lG* — "Misn a^,^, .->n .-^-of-thQ- 
 Prairio" Bald-!Tead.3d-EafjlQ". V/ar-nioud — 
 
 (\ few v;ordr; cf Tndiin 'ibberish to 
 
 tho Dorvint, th'?n in 'ir.'.'linhl) 
 '.lisr; !3alldc;-j ic nev :r at hoao to tho ;ja?.d-Ue ad od-Ea^lon. 
 
 ^Replacinri tho cardg on salv?r» Tho 
 
 G o r V \n t d e •■'> . - r , i fc s th-'?;:! on ta.jle L. 
 
 crognoG to '<, ^!>v^h^ro he stands ri:-^- 
 
 idly. ) 
 Old !3ald-]i9adod-l£arjle is try in;; to lay aia out on civilization. 
 But he can't take my scalp yet I Ife' s Just ,^ot a new set of 
 drav/ini^-rooia furniture, too. Hut Jv? didn't nond one of H i s 
 dau[jhters to be educated in Nev/ York, and finished in Paris! 
 ][Q* r. got a ne',' [^jrand piano, too, i^ut noithor of his girls 
 can rl'^y o:: it. To hear mx ..'irl :jive one of her civilized 
 Parisiat} v/ar~ :hoop3, aid r;o for tv^at pi.ir.>o -~ '.'/h-o-c-pl 
 (Givinu a roll in,; Indian whoop pattiri'jj his lips with -irj hand) 
 Old Bald-Headed- lia^jle isn't in. it. 
 
 (War-dance a 
 
 ccciapaniiaent 
 
 r-uddenly 
 
 aiid 3trann-l 
 
 y. \s Bull do 
 
 rj flivoG the 
 
 v/hoop, he rfo 
 
 er^ into the peculiar n^o- 
 
 ticr^s of the 
 
 Indian dance 
 
 The ner- 
 
 vant in dre? 
 
 s-Guit, ctill 
 
 ntandinrj 
 
 t,. n. ri.ridl 
 
 V« boninc the 
 
 came ,no- 
 
 ticnr; of the 
 
 knee, v/ithcu 
 
 t leavini^ 
 
 hi', place, an 
 
 d look in. '^ sol 
 
 eanly front. 
 
 TJull-d0;j :!icv 
 
 o'-] to hall-tr 
 
 ee, taken 
 
 tomahav/k and 
 
 ui^brella, to 
 
 n--en the 
 
 latter aero?. 
 
 :; to the serv 
 
 >Trlrr- v/h 
 
 catches it. 
 
 T;-iey danc ~ 
 
 th e v/ar— 
 
 d.ince teeth 
 
 er,v;if' full 
 
 and reno— 
 
 nant orcheGlraT acco-iPai' i: ; ;en.tr the 
 kettle-drua predoiiinat inj, ir^ i.nita- 
 tion of the to;a~ton. Occasional • 
 
 roll in : : v/ar-v/h c c}> fro. 
 
 ■A hulld0|3. Thv 
 
 flourish the toinahavrk 
 
 and u;nbrella. 
 
 alternately, crouch in; 
 
 1 before sach 
 
 other, ) 
 
10 
 
 Indian vfar-Danco, 
 nalldO|-{ and ^^orvant. 
 
 U'llldo:: fin -illy flourisho:-. lii i^o-ua- 
 
 hia; at.d r^iv:ci J.n una-^rthly wh^v^l', 
 lQad:?r than All th-3 otherG» Entor 
 t?^Q Fain-of-tho-aion. L. U. E. 
 r.ho rush OS iu and r.trikoo a pictur-s- 
 esque, doprecatii}:-^ attitud-). 
 Tableg'-i. Bull do;:; liov/QrG his toaa" 
 hav/k and itiov^s L. abashed* The sor^ 
 vant rises and asna.nos ri;-;id v/ait - 
 er's attitudo. }R ! ^ 
 
 (C. drawiri:; up wit'' v-^ry dii^nified and Glo;':::ryt mantjor.j Papa, 
 dear J \ v.ar-din'^eJ In cur very drawing-room! I a.n ashaiao d 
 of ycu, papai (Arran^^in:j '^ or ^^Icve.) Hothin.: could bo nioro 
 
 vulju^r I 
 
 DulldOj^ 
 
 Vulvar I to hor own father! Tmi co.aos of educatin;^ a girl 
 in Ne'v York and finishinr^ hor in Paris, 
 
 (_Tho Faun's 
 
 costune is a pic 
 
 turosque 
 
 combination 
 
 of aodern fashic 
 
 n an d 
 
 tho cor-'Vor^t 
 
 i c n a 1 T n d i ;. n Pr i n 
 
 C03G 
 
 droris. Th 
 
 3 skirt falls to 
 
 bo low 
 
 hor knoo, v/ 
 
 itb for or: L loavoc 
 
 and 
 
 flov/^rr. v/ro 
 
 ath Gd ;-;racof'.Tlly 
 
 about it. 
 
 Dainty pink 
 
 or oth :t cclorod 
 
 Fronch- 
 
 hoolod f;iait 
 
 ors. v.'aist hi 'h 
 
 aiid X 
 
 noatly fitt 
 
 inj at thi throat 
 
 , or of 
 
 v;hatevor .la 
 
 y bo of tho jost 
 
 fashion- 
 
 ablo nhapo 
 
 for 'lov; York boll 
 
 OS. 
 
 Lci :;, inai'y^ 
 
 buttonod kid ,ilov 
 
 OS. 
 
 Coif four of 
 
 latost stylo, artistic- 
 
 ally ornaiao 
 
 litod v/ith a fov; c 
 
 harac- 
 
 tori Stic In 
 
 di an feathors. 
 
 \n ol e- 
 
 g'ai>t fan. 
 
 Perhaps a paraso 
 
 1, c-^C. 
 
 8:C. 5C, H 
 
 er face, for host 
 
 effect 
 
 should be 
 
 of a li.-^ht b'lt do 
 
 cidodly 
 
 Indian huo; 
 
 but t'iis is not 
 
 a'-so- 
 
 lutoly osrio 
 
 nti 1. Tho Faun' 
 
 s man nor 
 
 must bo tha 
 
 t of a rofinod an 
 
 d olo- 
 
C^Lut socioty younK lidy.v/ith a to ich 
 of afroctioi:; jri^fj-.t and livoly; 
 'out G0;aeti:30s. ;s aftor h or firr.t 
 3r:trarjcg, vary di^r.-ified. \s she 
 addror.sGS hor fathor^ Goryart and 
 othors, sh 3 arraniJes her r/loves, as 
 above, dalli OS v/ith h or fac o. tou ches 
 
 ' ' ' s 
 
 h-jv CO if fear, r^ lane on at hor skirt 
 
 \,ar-Clcud, yu i ..i .y retire. ( Th o s e r vai: t starts) Or.-a aoaent. 
 fife stopr. . ) You may viv: over to the Pi-Ute reDorvation, and 
 ask Mr.-:, 'v.il "'-dCi.':^-or:-riro if Gh e v/ill kindly lend :ne her 
 ccpy cf Z-ol?. *s last French novel. 
 
 (Exit sorvarv. i^i^-tv^jiv, Fv. 1 . l. ; 
 
 liulldopf. 
 Coed reIi;jiGur. girl. Faun is. She dotes on French Sunday- 
 School bocks. 
 
 Faun 
 T aa really astonished at you father, \fter the effortn T 
 have laado, since my return froj a!>ro<id, to iapress upon you 
 the fact th it no civilized ^entle.aan ever indul.^es in such a 
 t'^inr,^ as a "Vfar-dance. " And ycu have put ori your v/ar-paint 
 
 ,ain to-day. It is unv^orthy, father, of :ny ;jentle:nan v/ho 
 .acves in polite society. It is positiv3ly vulr^'ar. 
 
 ]3ulldo:t 
 
 Vulvar J 3 v;ar- dance, vul.-^arl 
 squaw of her a;-je — 
 
 Faun 
 
 \7.hen her ;:iothor \/aG a yountj 
 
 " Squaw I " — youn[^ "lady", papa! 
 
 ijulldoj^ 
 V/hen her raother v/as a younrj lady, it v;as the easy [jrace with 
 v/hich I danced the war-^dance that first v/cn for jie her maiden- 
 heart. ;far-paint, vulgar I She callc her old father, tho 
 War-Chief of the Sioux — she calls ^e — vilj^arl :,ly childl 
 (Turnin,; tov/ards h ^r v;ith :;roat di;i!.ity. ) Dau^j.hter cf the 
 fierce v/arricr of the Plains an^d th o rjentle V/ildf lower of the 
 Valley — v/hen X — (Raisin.r his ar;u laajest ically and point- 
 ±n:\ to the distance.) \\niGn X shall jiave :jono on uiyi solitary 
 Jourr-oy to ':ho Happy I! intintj Ground — 
 
Faun 
 
 T boa ycur parricn, piipa; i:^. ^?ov/ Yor': ••/ ^ call i ^^ "H-avon.'' 
 
 nalldo..{ 
 fTuri.iiv.'. dcv/n. ) New York knows dai-iaod little of thut cubjoct. y 
 •^o fur an a weotarn man liko aysclf can Judao fro.a tho nov/s- 
 paporc, \7hat little it do'33 kncv/ it loan c frc:.i :5rocklyn. 
 
 Fa III} 
 iMy dear rather. I -.vast call ycur attention lc another seriuir, 
 broach o 4tiqu3t:.o. You have not 'v^en civilized. L hi^"^' 
 Yc : rauGt nevor sv/ear, papa. 
 
 l)ulldQr{ 
 .evar sv/eari It';; the hif^host point in civilization I have 
 ever reac)v5d. 
 
 Tn t]>.e prosot;CO of a lady. 
 
 Dulldo.^. 
 I nev?r aot a white laan that .didklt. cv/oar. 
 
 Faun 
 
 When ladioG are got present, n othin;T is acre civili::^3d, T b j- 
 1 iev : . C* est Un e ant re chone . ^j.or) porn. 
 
 Bull do >^ 
 
 b:h? 
 
 . J -i r« r» s T p "! 'T '^ h ^ o ; T T ' "I t . 
 
 aun 
 
 .ijUlldO:j 
 
 (The Faun speaks a r:.?nte! ■ .: ii> Tr^diac} 
 ^^ibjorish, ^:» if tr^nsKUmj t'^ hi.a »; 
 Q — hJ Why tiie devil didn t you .SSX so ? ( \r>id^. )" Thoy 
 tau;-;ht that ;iirl French in '^ew York --^v^' -^ -• spent six aonthn 
 ir Paris without fcr^-^ettini^ it. 
 
 (MG GPoaks to ' -:r in "Indian") 
 
 Undoubtedly, '.ay doar fat'ior. Uut, by the bye — 
 
 ( ^■ho continue^' the G'jntenC'^ in In- 
 dian. ) 
 
1^; 
 
 Dull dor. 
 To a certain oxtent. \t the sam© ti:3o — 
 
 (He continuoG in Indian.) 
 
 Faun 
 
 What you say is vo^y true, papa; and yet — 
 
 (She continues in Tndi:-:ij»j 
 
 How much will it cost? 
 
 Hulldo?^ 
 
 Faun 
 
 Lot me aeo — (Oontinuos in Indian* ) 
 
 ijulldon 
 
 I'll think of it. 
 
 Oh, n'ioipcrte, papa — n'lmportol Tr :~la-la-la. (^riirnin;:{ 
 up Gtaiie and runr^in^; ovor tho keys of the- piano . ) Tr a- 1 a- 1 a- 
 la. 
 
 DuIIdoR . 
 
 Tho 13ald-]leadod-e:aijl3 j^irls aro nov/hor ?! Thero isn't a whito / 
 girl in /Viaerica that can look dcviu on h or venorablo father 
 with laore supreas contempt. 
 
 (The F'^aun sii>;;5G. IJalldo:^ strolls 
 up; ^llan C GS at the ke ttla. ;'ivos 
 it a Gtir or tv/o v/ith a 'on,\ stic'.: 
 and v/alks cut, L . U . E « 
 
 ^. n a 
 "Finished in Parir*.." 
 
 The Faun. 
 
 (b:ith9r in the interval ausic, or 
 after the son;;^ is finished, the Faun 
 dances daintily, in a 'nanner appro- 
 priate to her character; v/ith pret- 
 ty af focticr:::! of Qanr.or; usin.; her 
 fan, arrunrr.:);( her nlcv:-n. openm,! 
 and Gv/ii::;in.i ^ p:,raGoll ."o. «^c. Per- 
 ]iaps the best \;ay is to ^c throujh 
 t'lo::::? acticns ar. she sin.:is the lines. 
 v/ith a dance at the end of the son >) 
 
Finish Gd in Paris 
 Original Sonf^ 
 
 Honry r. , LQ±\zh. 
 
 I v/as "finiGhod" in Paris, and v/ho can dony 
 
 That I'ia up to tho s-ylo of to-day ? 
 <^ould you hopa to discover, v/hore'or you may try, 
 
 r.uch a modol of "Chic", ^*il vous Plait ? 
 Thsro's a dash, there's an ease, there' s an elej^ant graco 
 
 \nd a kind of a J^ J2^ sais guoi, 
 That v/o learn in that siiaple particular placo. 
 
 here's a proof in your liiodel, jHost iio.il 
 
 Pinis}v3d in Paris! Oh Joy, oh delij^htl 
 Am I not nearly perfectior:- or quite ? 
 
 tl 
 
 '■'or your pert little misses Mew' York's pretty v/oll, 
 
 V/here I v/ont lon;j ago to a schocl; 
 T v/as taurjht how to v/rito, how to cypher and spell, 
 
 \nd T locked all the time like a fool. 
 I could punish my scales, I could sprawl throuijh a danc^ 
 
 I could siiy^ with a horrible squeak. 
 Tt 'Yas only 'mach later, on ,;;ettin?^ to France, 
 
 That T learned vyhat is called la ;iuriuue . 
 Finished in Parisl Oh, joy. Oh delij^htl 
 \m I not nearly perfection or quite ? 
 
 ITT 
 
 I r era einber the days v/heii a mild little joke 
 
 V/ould my sense of propriety vex; — 
 \nd I blushed like a poppy v/henever I spoke 
 
 To a soul of the opposite sex. 
 I am fend of a Jest, ai 'J c^n make it myself — 
 
 Mow the end of my trainin,'j is o'er; 
 \iul my blushes are carefully placed on the shelf, 
 
 To be v/orn, v?ry likely, no,. nor e. 
 
 Finished in Paris! Oh Joy, Oh delight! 
 \in 1 not nearly perfection or quite ^ 
 
1 r> 
 
 IV 
 
 'Tir> the quoon of all citiQS in Pro^roGS and \rt; 
 
 'Tig tho contre of laucic and nirth; 
 'iLv'ry trao-born \mGrican thinks in hie heart 
 It' 3 a Paradise placeftupon earth. 
 I', if anyoRo prer-ont is ea.-;or to find 
 iMl the wondars that Paris can do, 
 Or a sa.aplo of v/hat 3h 3 can f^vo to mankind. 
 It is andor nose, XOySZ. y.9'^.g' 
 
 Finished in ^arisl 0'-, ;jcy. Oh dDli-.-jhtl 
 \.n T not noarly porfecticr: or quit 3 ? 
 
 Faun 
 '\t card^tablo L.) Callers durinj^ my absence, Mrs. Bald- 
 Moadod-C-ijlo ai.'d her tv/o daughters. :iice 'tSirlc, mi so. uncul- 
 tivated. They have never been to Paris, \h, the post-iaan 
 has been here. A letter for me. The postman hasn't called 
 before for six- months. Papa has had ^XL the staj^e-coachos rob- 
 bed lately. It is very inconveniont. Pt^om the Marchioness 
 of iielgravial the dearest and v/aruiest friend I had in t':uropo. 
 Postmarked "Chicaj^o," ?^he is already in Vaerical (reads lat- 
 ter, I "My darlin,^ ;.iarie Loui.':Te — Uy brother, the Earl of 
 Kensington and myself — m-m-m The Earl has heard so much 
 of you"fro:n me, he is impatient to make your acqu:aintance-m — 
 
 m--!u-~m — m — m-- 
 
 (Dulldort strolls in L, a, S.and dov/n 
 
 They should be here by this' time, I — I v/ondor — Oh, papa, 
 dearl Did you and brother arrange to rob the last stage-coacJ- 
 the one that is coaini^ nov/? 
 
 a c :• 1 
 
 IJulldo^. 
 
 null-Puppi-?^ik-Um-^ah is now on a busip.esG tour; and ho v/ill 
 probably tike that in. 
 
 Oh, papa: The .Marchioness of Belgravia, who became my most 
 intimate friend, during my recent visit to En^jland, on my re- 
 turn from Pa-is, is undoubtedly in that coach, v/ith hor broth- 
 er, the Earl of Kensington, v/ho is comin- here with the avow- 
 ed purpose of offering me his hand. 
 
 lJulldor{ 
 
 That's awkward. 
 
I'J 
 
 L;\na. 
 
 I do wish tl^.at you and brothor v/onld [jivo up rita-^o- coach rob- 
 birirf er-tirely, Tt ij> sue'-- ::i vulgar buninGnr.. 
 
 Now sho'c ashamed of ay roij ilar businonsl Rcbbinc^ stage-coach- 
 92, vulnaril 
 
 Faun 
 You havo tc,kill poopio, ycu kiiov;, and that ic, r.lv.'avs nioro or 
 leSG do trop . ir^ i^ocd socisty. Do you think tliat IJul 1-Pupi- i- 
 Sik-Ua-'-.ah may, perhaps, .-aako c:- ---c-'-^ • -• -= - ^^ror cf ^z-- 
 ilarchicnosn and hor broth or ? 
 
 juainess is busin^s^. 
 
 ]'>ulldo,<^ 
 
 Faun 
 
 / 
 
 T do. v/ish you v/ould rotiro, pap: 
 
 ■lulldof^ 
 :.Iy cliild — ^r-ravoly » ) Ycu :'c i^ot und;5rr.rtand th^ exi.jonci^s 
 of my soaev/h it peculiar pociticn. T havi found it exceedintj- 
 ly difficult to keep up the necess ry expenses of civilizaticjv 
 oven under the fostering care of -.i paternal [;cver::.uer t, arid 
 when on{ja;jed ii-; active businenr, purcuitr.. 
 
 Faun 
 *^urely, yc i have enourjh, uy '^^ther. 
 
 ^Julldog 
 
 The merest accident may at any moment deprive rae of the chief y 
 source of iuy inco.iie — the blankets cf my absent tribe. T!ie 
 [jov^rr^met' t .t V.'ash in- ton ra i '^h t aproii't an honer, t Indian \rjont. 
 
 Faun 
 .jut 1^ Guc'^, an accid9r:t probabl e. p 
 
 nui.Tf'c^ 
 
 Tt i^as never yet occurred. But v/e must be prepared for any 
 ciaer'^-;er:cy v/hich an inscrutable ProvidoiiCe — T v/culd say, an 
 inscr "it ''1 "> ,"rynr-T^ry-^r■.f — may ^>t.'- in r.tor!; for our rac":. 
 
 Faun 
 Of course T know nothing about businosr, ciatters, papa. ;3ut 
 a gentleaan in 'lew York sccioty usually stops robbin^^ his 
 neif*hbors, and retires froi businesr. entirely, as soon ax; the 
 amount of his savings justifies him doinr* so. 
 
17^ 
 
 The v/arricr rJhief of the Plain v/ill v/alk it, tho footstepc of 
 ^hrirtian (^ivilizaticn. T will stop robbiri;: sta,^3-coach-3G 
 'ifi'l killin,.^ their inaatoc,as scon ar. .jy ocnnciofica v;ill por- 
 lit me to take that important stop. 
 
 ( Tho boll on troo L. 1. C. rin;::; 
 nuddanly viole; tly . ) 
 
 Ka'Ui 
 
 \nl (lookin/( I..) f^afe! Tt m tho Marchionoss, herself I 
 
 (Kntor the :i::irchicr>ess of loln'- -^v-i-"^. 
 rapidly v;ith outntretcho^l ar:aL3. L. 
 1, E.) 
 
 I.Iy darli 
 
 Marc'-'ioner.G 
 
 T n 'IT nr,\ 
 
 
 Fa ^ m 
 
 :;arc)^ionor.s 
 
 For.'fivo mo for not v/aitm-^ for t>^o sorv^ft t was so iiapatient 
 tc aeot you affaitit 
 
 Faun 
 Don't inontion it, T an dolii^hted to r.ec ycu! 
 
 (Thoy einbraco ai^d kiss 11^ Ijull^lon 
 has movod tc T.. C. I^ntor tho l£arl 
 of Konnln.iton. ^. 1. H. :Io is en 
 
 lon-^ ulrlor, v/ith fur tippot and 
 (-,^1ovog; crush hat,r.in.^lo oye~rflaGr,. 
 He v/alkr it: v.-ry d-1 ibor-:.t oly ai:d 
 stops L. f cin : ijul ' do,'j, and lookiniT 
 :i t I"! i :n t h. r o u ; h h i-> o y o- ; ; 1 :'. n ::■ » Th o y 
 face eacii othor, both joticnleGs; 
 ono v/ith tho stolid ;jti'e of tho In- 
 dian; the other v/ith tho quiet per- 
 sistoi.ce of the Cnr-il ir.hm-' . ) "• 
 
 Fa tin 
 
 Tako off your thinrf-,, at once, \u-'usta. 
 
 '.'arc)U(-r;os^-. 
 Thank you, no, :ny dear. We'll cot sit dov.: • i.e ai ^- j^in;.,' 
 on to ralircrria, ycu know, T just happenor in tc introduce 
 
13 
 
 ray brother. Wo* 11 inako you a nico lotifi call oi: our v/ay back. 
 
 Faun 
 Out you'll bo so warm in the drawin;^ room with your cloak on. 
 You must stay a little whilo, 
 
 JiarchionQSc. 
 Very y;o11, my lovo. Dut, roally, you munt excuse my trav- 
 el linj^-dross, 
 
 (Thro'.vinL: off opora clor^k and laca 
 scarf, and disCovoriti'r: full v/hito 
 ball-droGs; coiffour; ^lv/o1V6 p'itton 
 kids; fan, ^c , 8:C.) 
 ;,Q have Just had nino hundrod miles in the stage-coach ~- ovn^ 
 th-T plainn — and it v/as vsry dusty. 
 
 Faun 
 Dcn*t apologize, my lovo. Now, my dear marchioness, you must 
 tell me all the news froi.i Nev/ York and Europe. Is the Duch- 
 ess of Monteagle v/^11 ? and Lady Peiiloy ? Of course you 
 must have seen the last opera-bouffe --v/as it nici an-d wicked 
 
 Hull dor: 
 
 (\side) If I'm net introduced to this Enr^lishman dammed 
 socn, it'll become Gmbarrassinrj. 
 
 (He and the Earl continue to stare 
 
 at each oth'3r quietly and -vithcut 
 the ali,;jhtest motion on either si da, 
 as before. 
 
 You like it then, ( To Marchioness, referring to her own 
 costume) Worth desir^ned it for me, at ray ov/n sUj^nestiotj; 
 appropriate to an Indian maiden you know — yet something 
 of dear old Paris about it. 
 
 iiarch . 
 
 Exquisitol it: perfect taste, my lovo. 
 
 (Bull-doij still star in:: ^t the Earl, 
 addressinij him in a few Indian 
 [jrunts. 
 
 Earl _ 
 
 T bof? your pardon. 
 
 (l3ulldor:l repeats the grunts ) 
 Really — I — ah — pardon mo — but — T — ah — 
 
19 
 
 Oh, papa! 
 
 (Bulldo,-^ drav/s a lonn P'^f^i Ven 
 takes ci[;--r frcn his gout''-; apd of- 
 fors it to tho lilarl to siaoke* Tho 
 Earl drav/G back, Gurprisod ai.d dis~ 
 ^•listed , tun-in;; front. I3uIldos> 
 starts back, drav/ir:;,' up indiigjantly 
 thot:- [(ivoo a v/ar-v/hcop. ) 
 
 ^'a.ur. 
 
 I3alldor.T 
 
 The palofaco rofusos to G.acka tho pipe of peace. 
 
 Faun 
 
 y doar papal 
 
 ( Goir;;{ to him. Tho IgarchiCDoss 
 ;ardG B-illdofj throur^^ri a pair of 
 ff.old evQ--[{lasGos> ) 
 
 i)Ulldor^. 
 Tho ?.on of the Moon and the 5[av/k hasn't tha slightest objec- 
 tion to digf^inij up the hatchet, if tho gentleman wishes his 
 to» T always kojp one buried in the backyard — about six 
 inches deep — for use in my diplomatic relations with the 
 United States Goverriiaent. I arn perfectly ready to accomao- 
 date cur guest. 
 
 Faun 
 
 Dsally, T hvpe ycu v/ill excuse my father. 
 civilize' yet. 
 
 lie hasn' t bo^n 
 
 r;Ulldof; 
 
 Civilization bo 
 
 (Faun puts her h:Li:d over his .-go itlt) 
 T am a gejitlenan of the old school. 
 
 Faun 
 
 It is my fault. T owe you all an apology. Mlo'V ne — ,jy 
 father, Mr. Si tting-Down-Bulldog — her ladyship, the ;vi."irch ion- 
 ess of Belgravii. 
 
 (The Marchioness curtseys 1cm a r: d 
 fori.ially. Bull^Iog re.uov.^s hin hat 
 
 * . I . .... ' ■ > V 
 
 and bows with, dignity ar. d gracoTT 
 
 March. 
 
 My brother — his lordshi'Fi the Earl cf Kensington — lin 
 
20 
 
 ■:3uIldog — ;,iir;5 iilldOf^. 
 
 ( MI bcw .7it^! formal dii^nitv. ) 
 
 ery happy -- T — ah — assure yo-i, 
 
 (Ho take;:; i hatKlsoaa aeorschaug cii^or 
 holder froui a caso ii' hi'j> pocket. ) 
 Por.nit ;.-]G. 
 
 ( LxtondJL;.; h.iG ii-iLd. iJilldcj .jivo: -. 
 hi:ii t'.Q ci,-^ar. Ho giiiGtly plac::3 
 
 it in the hold .r and drav/G i '.uff or 
 
 two, J 
 
 Thanks, Havana.. 
 
 Bull don 
 
 Rosa Honcha 'Colorado, nonii- ^cticut wrappers. ^ \3ide) Wo v/oro 
 CD the vevifQ of another Indian war. ( Moud) I say -- Earl - 
 
 (aiancini^ at the ;^aun who is a{;^ain 
 chattirr' wit^": V^o March i ones r.i, and 
 Pui.-chin ( the S'lrl undor the ribs. ) 
 T s .y — Earl — 
 
 (Poi!:ts over his sl^culdor, raises 
 l-iJG 1Q(^ J^c. in tlvj *'\moroas--old-'ia an " 
 
 ;G youiiij squav/I — eh -- koel do as T did v/ith her raother - 
 ,jivo hor an Kn relish v/ur-danco. 
 
 {V.Q acyes up sta;;9 and stirs kettlo) 
 
 ^aun 
 PardOD uc, your lordship — pray reiaove your ulster 
 
 (<^h9 pulls !) ell -cord han[?ini^ fro.;, 
 troe R, .3 ell heard loudly without 
 
 t'^ar 1 
 
 Thank you. 
 
 f ne:;icvii::^ ulsiier an-d furs, discov^r-- 
 in;{ full evonm ■ dross-suit: v/}) i t o 
 tie; w?^.ite kids; flcv/ers in otrt- 
 ton-hole .^cc. ) 
 Pardon ay travel lin^ suit. 
 
 (The sorvur:t onters R. 1. E.and takc3D 
 
 the 
 
 Ear 1 ' s 
 
 uls 
 
 I or"-? 
 
 ic. 
 
 , hw^n:din;^ 
 
 th^:ii ■■ 
 
 on 3 
 
 tall t 
 
 r e e 
 
 R. 
 
 'Ch 
 
 e iiarl stares 
 
 at h 
 
 i .i tHrc 
 
 i,^h 
 
 his 
 
 Hi 
 
 ass. He 
 
 and 
 
 the 
 
 servant 
 
 confront 
 
 each other 
 
 and 
 
 stan 
 
 d facG 
 
 to 
 
 face 
 
 » 
 
 The Earl 1 
 
 ooks 
 
 the 
 
 servant 
 
 up 
 
 and 
 
 do 
 
 v/n, struck 
 
 
21 
 
 with 
 
 the 
 
 i'leti 
 
 ti 
 
 ty 
 
 r th 
 
 oir 
 
 cofsturaes. 
 
 ]fe locks 
 
 at h 
 
 is 
 
 wh i 
 
 t9 i; 
 
 lOV'3 
 
 d ha.'idG; 
 
 then 
 
 at 
 
 -liG 
 
 '.V li 
 
 • 
 
 "ilV3l: 
 
 at 
 
 hici v/hitj 
 
 n c !•: t 
 
 le; 
 
 .irr 
 
 ■Ml 
 
 dr.- ' 
 
 h 1 ?. 
 
 OUti 
 
 as 'to 
 
 doe:^ 
 
 so. 
 
 ITi 
 
 (O 
 
 -.orv 
 
 I!: t 
 
 i^iit 
 
 atoG }i.i5 
 
 ..lOtiOL'S. 
 
 T'-i 
 
 
 
 h:arl 
 
 fm 
 
 ^Uy 
 
 S t OP G 
 
 Jiside 
 
 ■a. I) 
 
 d thj 
 
 r. 
 
 orva 
 
 r:t ia 
 
 CV 3 G 
 
 nravoly 
 
 L . 1 . b) . t '^ Kar I ' .?, ^y e:-> s t i 1 T or- h i .3 . ) 
 Karl 
 
 Tn spite cf the fact th i t I am an Enrtlish nobloaan, T — I a.a 
 ah — coiivinC'5d, at last — th it -- ah — civilization crossed 
 tho \tlantic Ocoan before T did. 
 
 (Moves ^.} . 
 
 Hull don 
 
 (Lookiij,-^ into th d kottlo) Th a t * s a v/o ll-traii-od dO;^; he 
 hasn't barlcod once siiics he was first bcilDd. I v/onder if 
 *''•■■*" ^ ". : • • to stay to di*- -*'". 
 
 (\t i'ianc wit^ March. loc!cin:: ovor laasic) -fero is one of 
 yc'ir favorite selections. Ycu mast sin;;^ it for us. I will 
 accompany you, and his lordship shall turn the rausic for us. 
 
 Oertait.^^y — ;y .;L1 .-i3ans — Lu. " tppy, I assure you. ( r;ovj« 
 in.^ foppishly and dancinr^. across) Particularly pleased, I 
 assure ycu — dali,;hted to assist ycu at tho piano. 
 
 ( ''.ovfir; 
 
 1 
 
 -I n d s 
 
 ^rup 
 
 xl; 
 
 ] » 
 
 Sh ■-? r o -, 
 
 ; on 
 
 -4 O 
 
 9,^o 
 
 si 
 
 ts 
 
 at P 
 
 iinc 
 
 ^ 
 
 
 I'e arran:! 
 
 OS 
 
 
 laus 
 
 uC, 
 
 X 
 
 .:-.ir;ir: 
 
 ; ov 
 
 -i"* 
 
 ]. 
 
 or, srairk 
 
 in;^' 
 
 
 at:d 
 
 C'-. 
 
 UC 
 
 :lin.-, 
 
 in 
 
 th 
 
 ,1 
 
 usual fop 
 
 pis: 
 
 \ 
 
 at tent 
 
 iv 
 
 3 sty 
 
 le. 
 
 
 ^h 
 
 runs ov 
 
 er 
 
 
 the koys Icc-kinr^ up it hiji sv/JotlyJ 
 \h — Donizetti — ( Or othor Go.ipcnor soloct :;:.!) oxquisite 
 touch, Aliss i'ulldofj — and fingers as exquisite as their touch. 
 
 Faun 
 \h — my lord! 
 
 iiarl 
 'Pci: ny honor as an Iinf.lish r^obleraan, Mis': "MlidOij. ^fa-ha- 
 he-hc! (Chucklii^:^ and bov/in^,^ over her; 
 
(Hayinr? be or watch in ■! th9:3 contomp- 
 tuously; lacvin;: down L») 
 
 That's v.'hat he calls an Enr^lish war-dance, T suppose, D-a-ia-n 
 
 civilization . 
 
 ( He crawls throif-jh entr-mce of Mi^isa 
 L,C» and disayvpears. The Marchion- 
 esG sin.^s.) 
 
 Operatic •^Glocticn: 
 
 Frenc;-, or T tali :n. 
 
 (Th 
 
 Fa 
 
 Uli 
 
 accc.ip 
 
 aijioG, 
 
 or app 
 
 ea^c; 
 
 to 
 
 dc 
 
 r^o, 
 
 at 
 
 piano, 
 
 vn.th 
 
 fl 
 
 irtat 
 
 ion 
 
 
 bus 
 
 in3G 
 
 - 
 
 bet'.*/ en 
 
 her : 
 
 md 
 
 th e 
 
 earl. 
 
 
 T)^. e 
 
 :,lar 
 
 ch 
 
 icn 2SL-; 
 
 mover.:. 
 
 frci fr 
 
 n t a 
 
 ^3 
 
 she 
 
 sin 
 
 '1 f^. 
 
 , with 
 
 riiusic 
 
 in 
 
 her 
 
 haiid. 
 
 
 Orchestral accorapanim^nt, ) 
 
 Faun 
 
 (\t end of selection risinr; ^r'-d .-icv- 
 
 ina down to Mar c!i icn ess I^« 
 
 'iravol briviGSiiaal Your voice ic as delicious as ever, my 
 
 ,..,., ■• ;T-,->N -1^^,23,3 ^ Yne upper re.jicter Id charaini^ly clear, 
 
 j4arch • 
 Thank you, my darlir.,^^. Do you keep in practice ? 
 
 Faun 
 
 Only so-so. It in do disccura[jin,i in ^.ur society here. 
 The Pi-Utes are hardly beyond the tOui-toci; at:d oven the 
 \pach9*s prefer a si:aple Enr^lish aelody to a classical sy;j- 
 Phcny from l^eethoven. (March, cross 33 to R.C.J 
 
 Old Italian Master -- (starin;^ throui-^h .':'lasn at one of the 
 oil palntinr{s ) \h — Landseor — ( at another ) ^ir Joshua 
 Reynolds — Lancther) IJy-the-bye, Mis" ".Vil 1 dorj -- ( looks at a 
 plate on tre e) \h -- :iajolica (Mayclica) did my sister, the 
 Marchicnos'.-;, tell you -- (his hand on a vase which han^is from 
 tree) Limo^^e ( Loemozho) did she mention a little -jr ah — 
 ir.cident -- that ' apponed to us on our way here ? TJi a -- ah - 
 the stacje- coach was — ah - robbed -- you know. 
 
 Faun 
 
 Robbedl 
 
23 
 
 Oh, yes -- T really fcr^jot to raotitic:: it 
 
 F.arl 
 
 All the rG3t cf tho pascenrjerc \/ero — ah — .aurdered, you 
 
 know. 
 
 Faun 
 ( Vsido) They will disccv^^r ny father' r, basines:, -- and it 
 is sc vulgar. 
 
 March. 
 
 In the first joy of meotin^ ay olf friend, the fact Lh it .all 
 our fGllovz-pasr.onnorc woro kill id, and v/o or-ly oncapod by a 
 lairaclo, quite Glipp>5d my mind, Ons of tho rjontloniGn v/hc 
 acGault:?''' the stage-coach was just about to kill lae also, 
 \7hen a youi},] liidi m Prir^co, v/ho r.'H^ned to be t'lo loador of 
 tho party, roquostod hi.:i not to do sc, ^ Ro.uan tically ) We 
 seoiaed to undorntand e.tch cthor'G thcu.;jht3 in l moacnt. 
 
 ( Vsido) My brother! 
 
 aun 
 
 March . 
 
 Forijiv? my blushes. 
 
 [^aun 
 
 ^he is it; love 'vith him J 
 
 ?!arch 
 \t lay particular request, the ycun.j Indim Prince consented 
 to save :ny brother's life, also. 
 
 Earl 
 Y-G-s. lie v/as — ah -- particularly polite to both, of us. 
 :3ut vP cannot remain lonn, Miss r5ulldc,j. Porrait ;ae to remark 
 that a personal interview fully confirms my previous impres- 
 sions. \s my sister intimated to ycu in her 1 ist letter, 
 I dropred in merely to make yoi a proposal of marria;-^e» 
 
 a an 
 
 T am deeply ser^sible, mv lord, of the overwhelming honor thus 
 extended by any l::n,ilish nobleman to an \meric:a-.> lady. ( De- 
 mur el y ) 
 
 Earl 
 Y-e-s. Certainly. \llow me to offer you, ir. person, my 
 heart and my estate. 
 
Pa an 
 Bslievo rjel my lord, T havo ci trao v/oaar^'s nat iro -- I accent 
 th 3": both. 
 
 iLo-rl 
 \lso, ray titlo. 
 
 Faun 
 I car- so far cvorcome my ;^^public?.ti projudices, my lord, as 
 tc accopt that, alr»o. 
 
 ( Lixt ondii';! hor handn. Orchoc-tra 
 
 bg{{inc; ii:trc(iucticD. ?;v^ :::arl 
 cros >o"- ~ii;(\ ':ir3noG h?r >).i.r-d.} 
 
 Du'n: "}Ieurt, TIlL'J a[:d oGtats." 
 
 (Original: M -nry r., Loi.O;) 
 
 fe:^4ri 
 \ c c o p t my vo v/ g , oii ch ari t i n ^^ i? i ^ ^- 1 
 
 l^Jelieve ae, T cm claim 
 Tho noblo rank of t^ii relish Earl 
 
 And our ancestral nane. 
 
 Fa an 
 Tc princely woalth ar^d -joandlo'jr, land 
 
 1 gladly link my fato: 
 I ta!'3 your titlo, taKo year hai^d, 
 
 Your heart ar^d your ©ntato. 
 
 'Refrain: lloth. 
 
 \h, lovQ, younij Icvo, c :.n fool no foar, 
 \:id nood r^ot doubtful v/.iit, 
 
 V/hon lev or brir^^^js )^ir. lov^r doar 
 \ title u)d est at G. 
 
 TT Faun 
 
 T Icve your wealth, T lovo your lands, 
 
 Much ..lore T cannot Gay: 
 Th'3 church at loact vfill Join o^ir h:ir:ds, 
 
 Lot h oar t s bo v/h or o t h cy ..ray . 
 
 Earl 
 Tho placo of spcuGo, tho plac :. of v/ife, 
 
 T aok you nov/ to fill: 
 \r;d, if you fail to choor ny 11 fo, 
 
 I'll s^olt for ono that v/ili. 
 
Refrairv: HQj.h 
 \h , lovo, youn^^ love - 
 
 
 ITT F.an^ 
 
 In England all. our peorn raay claia 
 
 Tho ri^jht of i^ritish caste. 
 Our lad ion fair adorn our na.ne 
 
 ■.■h'5iy lovo ai '.y lonn bo past. 
 
 Ccnxoiiior-t plaii — I frooly /aake 
 Thir, vcv/, boforo v/o part; 
 
 Your hand, your titlo I v/ill tako, 
 Viid risl:, my lord, your hoart. 
 
 Refrain: }lcth, 
 \h, lovo — youiu^Xpve -- 3:c. dc 
 
 ( \t th 
 
 g 
 
 ond 
 
 of th 
 
 e du 
 
 3t, the iiarl 
 
 has hi 
 
 S 
 
 ar:ii 
 
 about 
 
 the 
 
 waiGt of the 
 
 Paun, 
 
 an 
 
 d h 
 
 'JT h 0'?- 
 
 d r 9 
 
 3tn affoction- 
 
 atoly 
 
 OI; 
 
 h i : 
 
 J Ghou 
 
 Idor 
 
 A loud war- 
 
 v/hoop 
 
 v; i 
 
 tho- 
 
 It, R, 
 
 
 Mi start.) 
 
 That voicol 
 
 \:y brother I 
 
 Your brother ? 
 
 13ull-Puppi-'^i:' -U.u-^ah . 
 
 .jarch 
 
 I'ain 
 
 U&rc 
 
 Faun 
 
 Ear-l 
 'here ic, Go^iethir^;^ fiilliar a;.)Out that voice. 
 
 T.he v/ar-v/hcop aj^jain out R.TJ.E. 
 
 It ffiUGt be he. 
 
 March . 
 
 •^aun 
 
 You must really excuse ray brother, }]q_ is only half-civil- 
 ized. ]{e accoiapanied Red ^loud to V/ashinif^ton a fev; years 
 ai^o. or course he picked up a liitle.in the way of civiliza- 
 tion; but there isn't much tc learn, in that -direct lOri, a$f 
 V/ashini^tcn, you kn^-W, even for a white man. 
 
on 
 
 ( \ li o t ?V3 r v/ g r - v/)i o c P R.U.E. 
 
 rralldon 
 
 ro-appoara on all fcurc, ii, ontranc- ; 
 of tci.'t, L» C. -i-nd rjivosa v/ar-v/hocp 
 
 in roply.) 
 
 F^iia 
 
 Oh, papal 
 
 March . 
 Tt iG t'-'O Indian Pririco! Pe still - lay heart. 
 
 Cjug 
 
 ic 
 
 1: tro'Inctory 
 
 tc 
 
 foil 
 
 ov/ i r; 
 
 rJ 
 
 sonr; 
 
 • 
 
 Old l]'illdo,j 
 
 cr 
 
 a>.vlG 
 
 cut 
 
 and 
 
 da DC 
 
 OG 
 
 Tndi.irs fashion 
 
 dovvf} 
 
 t. 
 
 ThG 
 
 ^arl 
 
 an 
 
 d March ioiiO'' 
 
 ; r 
 
 otiro R, 
 
 
 Dull 
 
 lo; 
 
 niv'irj u-otiv 
 
 3r 
 
 v/hocr 
 
 • 
 
 It 
 
 is answ-rod without by liul L-Puppi-; 
 
 ^ik-Ui.i-^ah, ^-/hc- coiao G in u . V, E . , ■ 
 ,-1 
 
 dancinr; dov/n 
 
 i t bout sooir-i' ETTe 
 
 hlarl and f'-e .'.iarch icnosr. ilo sin ;r,J 
 
 ( Th i '^> s o n r{ i ^ s an , { v/ i t h w o r d s and 
 business b^tw jen the stanzas as be-" 
 1 ow . 
 Bull-Puppi-9ik~Um~^ah's ccstriiae is 
 
 a mixture of a 
 
 younr^ 
 
 Fifth Wenue 
 
 sv/oll's walk in r: 
 
 suit. 
 
 an-' the ccn- 
 
 venticnal India 
 
 n dr:-n 
 
 s. \ noat- 
 
 ly fitliiii-j sacq 
 
 ao coa 
 
 1^ f '.'/ 1 L ' ', G L y~ 
 
 lish scarf and 
 
 latost 
 
 cut of collar 
 
 neat vosL. v/atc 
 
 h .;nd 
 
 iTuard. '.h^r^ h- 
 
 ©Pons coat. \ 
 
 doVjy 
 
 hat, kid walk- 
 
 ih:[ alovjz] a 
 
 cane; 
 
 ncld eyc- 
 
 [5lasses o;- sin.i^ 
 
 I 2 .;la 
 
 c.g; a cinar. 
 
 Hutton-hole bou 
 
 quot. 
 
 Einbroiderod 
 
 Indian 1 on R in. is 
 
 and b 
 
 ead3d mocQasii-c. 
 
 War paint on 
 
 face. 
 
 Smooth scalp 
 
 with top-knot 
 
 and f 
 
 e Withers un- 
 
 dor hat, to be 
 
 seen 
 
 afterwards. ) 
 
 
 
 
 «The semi- Civilized .^well" 
 
 (Original '^oni^) 
 
 by 
 
 Henry '^. Lei-ih. 
 
 I. 
 \ yo'Ui^'i serai-civilized savarje a;a I; 
 
•Vnd a host of advon tares T*vo '?ad, ■jy-'the~;;ye 
 Sinco tho chiefs of our tribes — on diplotaacy bon t 
 Tn a delsj-^ation tc 'VaGhiDijton v.'Ont. 
 T v/ar. ar.xiouG to travel, and eager to learii, 
 '^othat most of tho states I've oxplorod in thoir 
 
 \nd T candidly think T may venture to say, 
 That I've picked up a notio::- or t^/o 0[; ay v/ay. 
 
 (Refrain) 
 Yes, r>ull-Puppi-Sik-U:a-f^ah knoivs pretty v/ell 
 That, if halfway a savage, he's halfway a c;/oll. 
 
 f_^£oaks) Well, gav'ner, hov/'s your scalp, old laan. Fa .in, 
 old girl; I've been out on a business tour, ( '^■in;T3» ) 
 
 Yes, lJull-Puppi-.'^i!<-a:Q-Sah knowr pretty v/eil, 
 That, if halfway a sava;^e, he'r halfway a swell. 
 
 ^ Intorvil gu.xC. Tjull-Puppi dancer . 
 Q-- steps P and L» 
 
 March, 
 
 ^ Th r o u/{ ' ' i n t o rva 1 ;a u 3 i c , ) It jnust be he! T do not recorj- 
 t:izo tho drecn — but -- (Lookin;: at •'. im thrcu. h h'^r ;^lar. sen) 
 possibly ho has changed it. That vcica -- t'at fac-:- — T 
 cannot be raistakenl 
 
 Earl 
 
 (Lookln:; it hi::: through glasses) My - - b -" < ■ • - ■• r - i - 1 .1 >. / 1 
 
 TT 
 \ v;igv/a:a is all vory pleasant, T kncv/ 
 Tf its v;alls are adoriiod by the scalps of t^.e fee, 
 ?^'till T fancy a fellCA' i:iore pleasantly lives. 
 In th'j comfort a hour:e on Fi ft'-, \venue gives. 
 *Tis a pleasure, perh'-Ps, to be all running loose, 
 V/hon v^o'ro huntin.! the buffalo — tracking the :acose; 
 Yet T seor,! to be quite as coiit-:n:t -.^nd at hoao, 
 V/hen T'.n trot tin,,' my nag in tho Park of Jero.ae. 
 
 { Refrain ) 
 
 Yes, ^]ull -Pupr>i-.<^i''-!J:n-?^ah kncus ,Sc, .^c. 
 
 (Rpeaks) Well, old nan, T attended to that last bit of busi- 
 ngs n — stage-coach. Five hundred brick si 
 
 (llulldcg gives a rolling whcop. 
 pull-Puppi does the sa:ne and sin:.,^s. ) 
 
28 
 
 Yos, Dul I-Pupi:i-f^ik-Uia-*^ar! knowr? prc-tty ..:)1T, 
 That, if halfway a savago, he's h;ilf'.vay a g'7 311. 
 
 (Interval inisic, daiico or ntops) 
 
 LHarl 
 
 Charming yoani;^ ^o^l ]fe desorves a dinner in liOGtou — 
 
 '<iarch 
 ( Throarch ir^t^rval music) It ±s. •'^■- princo 
 
 Faun 
 
 (Aside R>) It cai>not be helped, Thoy will dir.cov^r my 
 f a t 'i o r ' s b • 1 r> i r :• o v, v. I 
 
 Bull Puppi 
 (StoPPii',;! the danco: inusic co:ir,os.) I've made a vary ijood 
 trip, r^'uv'r^or. 
 
 Bulldc.^ 
 My dear boy, I was afraid you had beoi; no^jlectinij your busi- 
 n e s 3 on g i 'j orn e n t n . 
 
 Bull-Puppi . 
 Neglect iii-jj ? T knov/ cf liOthinr; in ray career as a ycun::( busi- 
 nosn man, ray dear father, to justify you in a suGpicion of 
 that nature, ?.ince you did mo t?io honor to take me in a:; 
 a partner, I havo always made the interests of the firm lay 
 first consideration, S. I), I3ulldofj -S r:on! Ycu laay rely upon 
 t'".o proiaptnesrj and discretion of the junior p ?.rtner, undor all 
 circ^JUTictances. 
 
 ITT 
 Th'? prairie Icokn all very well in its way, 
 :Jut aj-^ainst Saratoga ther6c nothir:j to say; 
 For the squaws of the white uian, it's protty v;ell known 
 \re as nicely and properly dressed as cur ova^. 
 We are happy, no doubt, ir:> our villa,'jes here, 
 \nd the trees and the lak.?s to the red men are dear; 
 But foi- fun and for frolic, for mischief and iiiirth, 
 Doney Island is not quite a hell upon earth. 
 
 ('Refrain ) 
 
 YOUnr: ■>U11-PUTV i-q;] :r-rT,ri-.c;.;,^ knows " C . 
 
 (SP.eakin:!) In the course cf the presor.. t transact icti, my dear 
 f-jither ( w i pi i. , ; { j la s s e s viith silk h an dk or c)i i e f J wo fcmd it do* 
 
20 
 
 sirable to kill six pasnen^^ars iDd the driver. 
 
 (Btilldor; nives a v/hoop. f ollov/<3d by 
 Hall--Piippi, v;hc siLr.{3.) 
 
 Youn;: I3aIl-Puppi-?^i':-Un-*^.ah knov/r, protty v/ell, 
 That, if h:ilfv/ay a savage, he'B halfway a swell. 
 
 (Interval niasic. Dancinri or st<3p-« 
 yiii-l up R. and L . 
 
 Faun 
 
 ( Throui^h intorv:! [nuGic) Oh I if fathor wire only a prof-3GC4- 
 ion;il Lian — a lav/yer or a clergyman -- 
 
 ;.]arch 
 '.'/hat ,;^rac9j what an air: 
 
 Ball-Puppi 
 (^topping the danc?: music ct\3oz) Yes, guv'iicr, f Loc::i;j;^ 
 at nct>3":)Cok) ^ix passsn^orn and a drivorJ. 
 
 Bull do,' 
 
 Did you 'jrinrj thoir scalps alon^, my boy ? 
 
 Bui 1-PuPPi 
 f^c.:ilp£5 V Pardon ra^a, father. Tho practice of dotachmg 
 scalps fro;u the head.it of thoir original proprietors — ( Trif- 
 linrr v/it h v;atch :^uard) iv now considered vul2.:.r. 
 
 Vulj^ar! nov/ he's at it. ^^calps — vulgar: 
 
 Such refinoiaent, 
 
 ?>^^ I ."I.- Pup Pi 
 When I v/as in V/ashin;jton and New YorK, father, v/ith your es- 
 teemed predec ?s3or -od <^lcud, I learned that it v/as quite 
 possible to rob people, effectively and with hijhly com.:r2Ld- 
 able thoroughness, -vithcut the slii-jhter.t interference v;ith 
 their natural hair. You have not been civilized, father, 
 to a certain extent, X '^ave. I spot.t tv/o Sunday afternoons 
 on Fifth \ venue, T vfas enabled to study the customs and man- 
 ners of civilized younj^ j-jentlemen -- passimi tc and froi 
 church — many of them enr^aged during the week days, in our 
 ov;n lino of business. I trust T b ive profited by my cbser- 
 vaticns. 
 
TV 
 \ clij'^t eccentricity r>Gems to iritrudo 
 1.U > ur v/;ayr> atid our habits, our contuuioG and food: 
 '^.c T'vo carefully tric-d ir: V\iz> costuiao of mine, 
 To lot Civilization and Mituro combine. 
 
 In a aixturo of }jroadv;ay and national paint, 
 I prer^ont an appearaiice 9ffectiv-> and quaint: 
 \nd my garb is an oxcollent sample, I [niess 
 Of ?. y< ma, semi-civilized savage's dross, 
 
 ( Refrain) 
 
 Cf^poakiij :■ ) !,V7--th 3-bye, father, I omitted to mention it be- 
 f or ■:; -- T a:i in lev?. 
 
 In love I 
 
 J arch. 
 
 (j;vtar'r^erir-fi and supported by the 
 Earl) 
 
 T n 1 ov e I 
 
 nulldorr 
 
 (?fe reives a '//ar-whoou. Bul'^-PuDPi 
 Sd;^'3 and sin[js. ) 
 
 i^or FiulI-Puppi-fNik-Um-^ah knows pretty oil. 
 That if halfway asavas-^e, he's halfway a swell. 
 
 (Tiitery.^l munic; darico or steps 
 n , an d T. . } 
 
 Faun 
 
 ^Throur'h interva l inur.ic) Ucv: romantic! Jle fell in Icvo 
 v/ith the 'larchicner^n, tec. 
 
 ^•e loves atjothorl 
 
 Uarch. 
 
 Hull -Pup pi 
 
 Yes, father, T aai in lovej 
 
 BulldO)^ 
 V/ith one of then damned \pacho '?ald-headed-eajle j^i^^^ ? 
 
 Hull-Pup pi 
 
 Vc ? 
 
Pi-L^tOG ? 
 
 Builders 
 
 Ijull-Puppi 
 
 \'eit1)er tho i3ald-h3ad^d-liarjle3 -- nor yet Pi-Utos — Enj;;lir}h. 
 
 (The March icnGsr, start:; uP) 
 Tho l;?.dy doGcribod horcolT ac t'-^o .'iarchicriCGG of !>Gl[fravi:i. 
 
 March. 
 
 T. breathe ar^ain. 
 
 Bull- Pup p i 
 \ft3r vYo had icillcd th3 otiior pacsoKijorij, lay oy ?s foil upor: a 
 lady in .i simple travel liri^^,' droLis, Sho was with her brother. 
 I f-jll i:.' lov3 at chc.2 and iritroducud :aysolf, I told thorn 
 that it v/as -Ait of the ordinary line of buainecG not to kill 
 all the passengers; but if it ,iiade no particular difference 
 to thora, T preferred to make an exception in their case. They 
 assented to the proposition* Vs T before said, ray dear 
 father, T am deeply, passi nately , in love, 
 
 (Turning R. as he speaks the last 
 aencence, he Gees the ".jarc hioness 
 and starts bad: v; 1 th h i s h an d on 
 h: r. h 3art% r.h '? aovec a step for~ 
 ward, viiih he^^ hand on h :r heart.) 
 
 March* 
 That fcrral that voicel I reco^n^ized your vcicol 
 Y/as differ Giit, but — 
 
 dress 
 
 UulT-Puppi 
 
 T had on ray uusinesr. suit, v/hen \-:o last met% Possibl^P, how- 
 
 ^v ?r . 
 
 (Raisin.i his hat, and displayinfj 
 bald scalp, top-knot and feathers ) 
 
 iiarch 
 \ - h I ( ydvancin.^ with outstretched ar.as) 
 
 Uull-Puppi 
 'ly ov;nJ (Receiving hor in his ar.ns) 
 
 f Pulldo,^ [jiviG a v/hocp. ]]ull-Puppi 
 sane. All sinj) 
 
 Quintett e 
 ■\h,null-Puppi-<^ik-iJm-^'ah' knows pretty ell, 
 That, it halfway a sava^ie, he's halfway a swell. 
 
 (Repeat) 
 
Ijull-Puppi 
 
 (•Make yourS'3lf at hO:.ie. ") 
 
 \h , licw my arms are roiiiid your neck, 
 M y !v3a r t is boat i i :• is h i ^h : 
 Your ov/ri I fool upon my breast, 
 By turns ycu laugh and cry, 
 Yo'i pale and blush and pout ai.d nmile, 
 'Jut n^vo^ bid laii roJiia; 
 You \'^•^i3''^Q^ low and gentle sij^h 
 
 "Pray make yourself at hOine," 
 
 barl 
 
 ("Little ?v/o o th eart ) 
 Little Sv/Oetheart co:ao and kisr> rae, 
 
 Just once raoro before I go 
 T-^^I Lie truly will you .ni33 .no, 
 
 \s T v/andor to and fro ? 
 
 :iarch. at:^d liull-Fupri 
 (Refrain) 
 
 "Pray laake yourself at homo, 
 
 Pray laake yourself at hoine 
 
 How 3v/eot to hoar those lovinij \7ords, 
 Pray make yourself at home. 
 
 Pa i.n and Sari 
 (Refrain) 
 Littl^ 
 
 Oh t.,/my sv/G e th oar t , c ora e an d kiss la e , 
 Come and v/hisper sv/Cot and lo\.'. 
 That your heart v/ill sadly laisr. rae, 
 is TV:\v:ind^r to and fro. 
 You\ 
 
 Faun, IDarl, ;.]archioness and Hull-Puppi, 
 (Tn the Gloauiin^.) 
 
 In the gloaminf^, oh, my darling. 
 
 Or the brightest light of day 
 
 In your absence — in your presence 
 
 I; ore or there, be v/here you laay. 
 
 :;y own hoart will turn v/ith Ionising 
 In the evening or the day. 
 
T v/ill lovQ you, fondly, dearly, 
 ]]e you noar or far av/ay. 
 
 r a i> d P i n a 1 o. * 
 
 Q,uintotte. - 
 
 (Orijjinal; ITonry F.. Lei;;Mi) ; 
 
 Very brif^ht air with "i',o" '< 
 
 . ^J.rl , ^foro'-: it: Olid of jy iv^c^^lo ^.roujlos, ;• 
 
 'vo capturod a jg'/gI, 'tic plain. 
 
 All the ploasurea of oarth zii\Q can doiblo, ■ 
 
 And v/hisk av/ay half of itc; pain, '- 
 
 Va'.ii:, I'vo appear'3d a bit flippant, it may be, 
 
 ]";ut mean v/hen I sottle for life, J 
 To be laeek as a mouse or a baby, 
 
 \rKl make you a aodol ycunij v/ifo, ' 
 
 •1 
 
 Q,uintettQ refrain* ] 
 
 his arrance/uent is equal to choss-playin[;j quite j 
 'hero the v;hitos take the blacks and the blackr. take tlv;- white ; 
 
 till a v/OLian and sister — a man and a brother — < 
 
 .hate'er be the station, if* each to each other. ^ 
 
 jall-P* Ti ,.]y v/;LyG have boon rather erratic, 
 
 I'll soon make a^nends for the past. \ 
 
 Ih a circle :acr ;• aristocratic, \ 
 
 ■\ swell I shall grew very fast, j 
 
 ; ar ch . The follies you mention, I'm s ir-^, dear, =< 
 
 Were merely intended in sport < 
 
 \L'd such habits you'll rapidly cure, dear ; 
 
 ^rfheu once ycu're presented at ^ourt. ^ 
 
 ^^efrain as before. ■; 
 
 This arran^^ement is equal — ^^cc. .^cc. : 
 
 (Then ,':Jo sa>... .-i: ^^ ^::Lo the Iridian re- 
 
 t 
 
 frain. Bulldorf with his toa-toa L. 
 
 4 
 
 The "Voices" now by ilall-Puppi and 
 
 
 the Earl on stage instead of with- 
 
 
 it, \11 dance, Dulldo;^ t|oes • 
 
 
34 
 
 f fh 3 Poculiar Indian stop, with 
 
 Bui '-Pupri al tor- 
 
 bo i}dir:_r^ kr^eo. 
 
 r;-itely daijcon to hi a in thic sava:-:Q 
 style, thon tt the ..;.;rch iunec.r;, 
 
 tun, in.: ho^- ig ;Tr-ico fully j-g a 
 Fifth \venMo sv/oll C. Faun, R. 
 do-i;s picturosqao attitadoG to Earl 
 then sv/in'r{s with him in the maEr-or 
 of :. socioty 'jolle,) 
 
 C u, r tain. 
 
THE AMATEUR BENEFIT 
 
 -^ ooo 
 
 An Entertainment 
 
 m 
 
 Three Acts 
 
 by 
 
 Bronson Howard, 
 
 ooo--- 
 
 Ret First. 
 
T ff E /. T K U R R '^^ ^^ E 7 T T 
 
 A :• 
 
 m e n t 
 
 1 li 
 
 Three Acts 
 
 b y 
 
 
 IJiJl. 
 
 <j j.y 
 
 7? 
 
 /^:?^2 ?H 
 

 ^ ^ 
 
P r o 2 r a in L. o , 
 
 The A rc a t o u r Benefit. 
 
 A Three- Act Enter tainiHGnt , which the Author declines to clc^ssiTy 
 
 by 
 B' r o n s o n }{ o v; a r d 
 With original songs, duets, etc., by Henry S. Leigh, 
 
 ^'uiic, Recitations, otj, , 
 
 Act First i-- ;)ouble-air duet:-- aenis from the Operas; — "Tho 
 Jolly Young Parson" — f Original, Henr> 1^. Leigh) Indian 
 Princess Dance:-- "Lover's Duet — T.'^olected) Uocitations 
 (Selected) "Rouveo and Juliet" — f^ong of the Stage Wanager" 
 (Original Tenry .'^. Leigh) Quarrel Quintette — !«'inale. 
 
 Act r>econdr — "Tho ''•'ar of the Tuning Fiends" (Original) 
 •In her Brother's Dress" — (Oragjiial, ilenry S. Leigh) --• ?al- 
 IftdffJ (.Selected ) Recit^.tj^n (Selected) Scnr^s of the Day — 
 Medley! Finale — solos, duets and quartet t^.-- "Little 
 Sweetheart" — "Pray make ./uurself at hoii.o" (He., ..--^rdt;) "in 
 the Gloan'ing,* 
 
Act Third! — "Voicos of tho T?orest " — a To.'i-toii. •'Ihant. 
 
 (Original) — 'Yar Dance!!! "i^inishod in Par] s" -- f Original 
 Henry '-\ Leigh.) -- Ana — "( .qelectod) "Haart, Titlo and 
 Estate" (Original Duet: Honry ^, Leigh) "The *^'6iiii- civilized 
 Swell" (Original: Henry P-, Leigh) Grand ^j.nale — Ouin- 
 totto — (Original: Heni7 ?^. Laigh, ) 
 
 Characters, 
 
 Cpiptain Harry Opdyke, U.S.A. i'n leavo and off f\uty 
 
 The Rov.ErnQiit Duckworth, On duty without iiis leave. 
 
 Vr. Booth i-'cC, "orrest. A > .;c..v. ....;;•... :..^,- lihiitly '^ 
 
 treated. 
 Fiss Kitty Plurupet, A burn actretjs, .vith a special y 
 
 lino, and a nian at tho end of it 
 vi^, ':;aii;illa "/estlako, The model young widov/ — born, 
 
 like the poet — she can* t be 
 
 ii";ado. 
 
 Act First!-- Rehearsal at lloiiie. 
 
 Act Second!-- Rshsarsal at tho '^heatre. 
 
 Act Third! — The Per forrwanc e. 
 
 Part ^''irst :s suppos'ad to have paj3od. 
 
Part r^econi. 
 
 I^aan-of-the-Crl on, 
 
 or 
 
 The C i V i 1 i z d I n f\ i an, 
 
 — -. — ooo 
 
 A "^ o c i 3 t y Drama, 
 
 ^it.ting-nov/n T3ulldog 
 
 (Chief of the Sioux) Too old for civilization. 
 
 The Earl of Kensington 
 
 (The final product of .'Civilisation) 
 
 Bull-Puppi-'^ik-Uiii-Sah, .S, n. Bulldog, Jr. 
 
 fA seia- civilized svvoitl). 
 
 War-cloud, 
 
 f Civilized up to his chin.) 
 
 Faun-of-the-Glon , '-'iss Varie Louiso bulldog, 
 
 f I^'ully civilized — and a trifle rrore) 
 
 The Marchioness of Belgravia, 
 fA Plov/er of '/ivilizati on, ) 
 
 J^ c e n e. 
 The 9rawinjr;-room is supposed to open on one i:ido, to the 
 sleeping apartrnontG of the Chief and hi;:, f airily , Upon the 
 other side it opens to his kitchen and the great ./est; In 
 ti.c distance, a viov/ of early ii^orning in Dakota during Octo- 
 ber, In the forer' round it is the n:or>4h of June. 
 
Koto to T.J ana < \ oni o n 1 1 ~ -^ Harry Opdyk.3 or l^orrost .;ill pl^iy 
 
 "Hulldoe" and "Bull-Puppi-Sik-Um-Sah" respeoti voly , as may 
 be arranged by ra:inat:ensGn t , The linon in Act ;3n^. , paf-jo 0, 
 are adaptable to either arrangeKont , The other characters, 
 according to tho lines in previous act 3, viz: "The Earl" -- 
 Eanest: "The Paun-of-the-Clen" — Kitty; Thy "Marchioness" 
 Cair.illa: The part of "War- Cloud" is a silent onu, but ./i th 
 a dance. It is to bo done by the silent servant of Act 1st, 
 
 s t u in e s. 
 
 Captain Harry Opdyke. 
 
 Act n'irst:-- 1st Undress U. S. Officer's nniforn--. 
 2nd, Character — for PvOctt^i^«in, 
 3rd, Return to fi'irst. 
 
 Act Second! — 1st, Gentleiiian' s easy afternoon ur morning 
 2nd, Character, for T?e.n tati^^n. 
 3rd, Return to First. 
 
 Act Third;-- According to //hich of the char.~cters he 
 
 plays in the burlesque. ^''or Hi t ting-r.)o.;n 
 Bulldog, see pa^^e 4, act 3rd. n'or Pull- 
 Puppi-Sik~Uir.-vSah, sec page 31, act 3rd. 
 
 :ev. Ernest Ouckv/'ort|j, 
 
 Act I^irst;-- Gen t loir. an ' s afternoon callinj^: costi'iT-e, 
 ',vi th a slifjhtly clerical saiic^^^^^^n , or 
 not. 
 
 Act "Second, Ea^3y aft.;rnotjn oc i-orning. 
 
 Act Third! — Knglish ."^.'/ell charucter: ulster, fur tip- 
 pet and [gloves; crush hat on hoad: ul- 
 ster -^rc, to be ren-oved, shov/inrr full gv^- 
 ninij dress: hat crushed under an^i, &c. 
 
 Booth McC Porrest, 
 
 Ac t ^i r s t ; — I : o n 1 1 ei^an ' s a f t e i* no on •' a i ki nj/ ; ,j .. ,.. ^ , , 
 trifle loud, but neat: close red wig. 
 
Act .'^^ooondl-- ^.asy r:":Orriint; or businei::ci. 
 
 A(;t T}^iird: — Accoivlinj:: to v/hich of tho characters ho 
 plays: in burlesque. ''Or "Sittin;:-Dov/n- 
 Hulldog" SGo pa.'jo 4, Act 3rd. ^-'or "Bull" 
 Puppi-Sik-Uin-Sah" see pa{:ie 3i, Act 3r^i. 
 
 War- Cloud. 
 
 Act Third: — ^eo papo 4, and alsu pafio 8, Act 3rd. 
 
 Vi;iS Kitty Pluii.pot. 
 
 Act 7irst.-- l:3t. Klogant indoors aftornoon costuine. 
 2rA, Indian Princess* s costume: very 
 ornaniental and vory scant. 5^ee page 27 
 act 1st, Aftenvards with opera cloak 
 thro./n about her »vaist as a skirt to con- 
 ceal her legs, and forming part of cos- 
 tuir, G. '^QO page 20, and also page 32 
 Act 1st, 
 
 Act .'Second.-- Large ulster to feet: derby hat: oye- 
 ;:,1 as s : c an e , ■^- c . s e '-i P ag a 7 , Act 2nd. 
 Afterwards ulster thrown off, discovering 
 clos:-;] y- f it ^ing ruJ"l*s v/alking dress. 
 See page 11, Act 2nd. 
 
 Act Third: — Indic^n Princoss costiuue: not that os 
 
 Act 1st, but a ir.ixture of Indian maiden's 
 and fashionable society dress, ^ee page 
 11 , ;.jt 3rd. 
 
 Vrs, GaDiilla West lake. 
 
 Act F'irst! — 1st, filegant indoors afternoon costume. 
 
 ^nd, Pull 'ivoning ball toilet: light col- 
 ored silk, satia or vt;lvet. 
 
 Act second: — Handsome Lady' s walking dress. 
 
Act T]:ird. — 
 
 "^ull ball toilot: s!Jto silk or satin. 
 Lace soarj and opora cloak to thro.v off 
 See pige 21, Act -3nd, 
 
Music and Spcciciltios. 
 
 Aot First, 
 
 1 Page — f Selected) — 'louble-air Duet, 
 
 Kitty and Gai.iilla, 
 
 2 Page 13 — f. Selected) — Opera - Prir^ia Donna "burlesque. 
 
 Kit ty. 
 
 3 Pages 14,1'.;, 17 & 18f.S'l»t) Gems from the operas. Soioc. 
 
 Camilla, v/ith Harry in a 
 final Duet.) 
 
 4 Pace ;c52 — f On jjinal ,. Leigh) «The Jolly Young Parson" Song 
 
 Ernest, v/itli Harry and Ca- 
 milla in trio refrain and 
 danc e, 
 
 5 Pages 27 to 29 Indian Princess*^ danCe. 
 
 Kitty. 
 
 6 Page 34, f^olected) Lovers' Duet, 
 
 Kit ty and Ernest, 
 
 7 Page 35 (Selected) Recitation, 
 
 Harry. 
 
 Pages 33 to 40 f Selected) Pecitationj ••Romeo and Juli^it" 
 
 Harry and Kitty, with bus- 
 iness v/ith Errjest and Ca- 
 milla. 
 
 9 Pages 43 to 30 f Original , Leigh) «Song of the stage Mana- 
 
 ger" 
 Porro-it. 
 
 10 PagJ:: oO l-J to end of Act. Quarrel Quintette. 
 
 All, Attei-'pted quintette, 
 broken up by a quarrel a- 
 rnong the levers, v/ith bus- 
 iness and lines. See note, 
 par,-i3 54, Act 13 1, 
 
lOC'^ 
 
Act Second. 
 
 Pages 1 to 4 fOriji^inal) ••The War of the tuning Fiends." 
 
 Song. 
 
 Forrest, v.ith instrumental 
 
 specialties by ov^l^es^^a. 
 
 Pages 7 to 11, T Ori^iinal , Leigh) "In her brother's Dross" 
 
 Sonn. 
 
 Kitty, v/i th liuuij and danco 
 by Uarry and Forrest, 
 
 PiJit^e 17, ff^el acted) Ballad. 
 
 CcUiiilla. 
 
 Page 18, ^Selected) Recitation 
 
 Harry 
 
 Pag 03 27-28 (Selected) 5^on^;s of th3 Day. T'edley, 
 
 All; with effort tc re- 
 hearse quiiitette. 
 
 Page 32 to end of act: "Little Sweetheart" 
 
 fOrii^iual and selectodt "^ray make yourself at 
 
 home" (new words) "In the 
 Gloaming" f^Vords rearranged) 
 ■Solos; Duet* Quartette. 
 
 Harry, Ernest, Kitty and 
 Camilla: f.ith lines and 
 busi ne;-.s. ) 
 
 Act Third, 
 
 1 PafjT'S 'i- t.o n f Original) "Voices of the Forrest* 
 
 Indian Chant. 
 
 Bulldog, .vith toiE-tom or- 
 chestral effects, and 
 voices of anin:i.ls 'anci birds 
 y.'ithont , 
 
 3 Page 10 Indian '^'ar 'ance. 
 
 Bulldog and w^r-Cloud, 
 
3 Page 15 f Original, Leigh) "Finished in Pctris" Song. 
 
 Faun (Kitty) with dancG, 
 
 4 Page 20 (Selected) Aria — operatic. 
 
 •'archioness fGainilla), 
 
 5 Page 28 (Original, Leigh) "Huart-. Titlo anr] Estate* 
 
 Duo t . 
 Faun and Earl, (Ernest. 
 
 G Pago 31 ( Ori gi hal L-Ji-:h) "Th-.- ^.y.i- oivili ".u:i Swoll" 
 
 Song, 
 
 ^ull-Puppi-Sik-Ura-Sah, 
 vath incid^jntal linv;ij «^c. 
 by ill. 
 
 7 Pago 39, (Original, Leigh) Quintette: Grand Finale. 
 
 All: v/i th dance. 
 
 JOO" 
 
Act I, 
 
 ooo- 
 
 .Scon q;— r'Vs. WQstlak.3»s nrawinfi-roon) , iu-^~ 
 
 hall back. Poor L, 3 h, ar^d also r.j 
 
 if doslro d. ( ^jg I^arr.' s oxi t, 
 
 pa.^e 3(). ) Album on tabl-^ L. Opera 
 cloak (s)o pd;;js IG f^: 29) on chair 
 a sofa T?: ^i^no np L. ^Vritinf^ desk 
 R. against flcit. Lively rEusjc, 
 Oiscovored; T'tl-.. Caialla r/ostlake 
 and ■'iss ^'jMy Plur^pet. They aro 
 moving R, and L. and up and do.vn 
 stage, vigorour>ly, ^Ith play-book's 
 in thoir hands, loarrjin,^; thair ro- 
 spectivo parts. Thcjy arc tii: ti r^^vly* 
 oblivious of oach othor, e^Idq qyov 
 their //ords in the usual sin^-sinn 
 style of tho loam or; olai-.cin:- at ■ 
 their books nov/ and then. The cur- 
 tain music continues li[;htly until 
 further n^tico. rPa^jo G) Tho la- 
 dies apeak through it. Th^j busines 
 and vyords givon bel.>v/ in the doublo 
 columns are to be sinml t^ineously . 
 If on. J of the ladio;^ speaks onounh 
 faster thar, the other to J^ake i t 
 noces:-:a>-y , -jor-'s :ust bo put in ur 
 taken out accordingly ^t rehearsal . 
 It is irrpossi bio t.p ouaro thj... ex- 
 actly in t!ie I.'^ss. At rlso or cur- 
 tain the ladies are noyigq R, and t,. 
 front: then a fu.y turns un and 
 down P. and T,. then pass each other 
 obli-;;uely fror: ppper corners to 
 lovver corner:-:. The music should bo 
 brisk, the actions, fTost^ires R-o 
 spirited, without pause for « re- 
 ception" applause. ""top the Laisic 
 ,Yhen the curtain is v/ell up and 
 the ladies begin to spoak.l * 
 
KittY . 
 "Rehearsinp^ hor part as she moves ) A //ar dancel T arn asharn- 
 ed of you! War-cloud — av/ay: I am astonished: Vy goiitle 
 liiothor the wild flower of the Valley — your daughter is a 
 Princess of hor tribe. The fi'jrce warrior of tie plc,ins — 
 the son of the and its Uawk — av/ayl — away — away! 
 
 That form: (Look In r out '?. ) ft is the E-.rl hi^^sclf, 
 
 Canal la. 
 f Rohearsin? hur Part as she moves) Vy doar V'arie Louise; 
 ^^e are together again at last. Exquisite: in perfect taste, 
 my love. Allow li-e — rr.^y brother, his lordship, the Rarl of 
 Kensington. All our fellow-passengers were killed, Onowas 
 about to l:ill i:.o, when a youn^^ Indian Prince — That voice! 
 fjiistoninp; suddenly out J,.) Tt must bo he! T cannot be 
 mis Lake, ! - 
 
 Kitt> 
 ( Down R, ) Let me soel The Karl v/ill be — there. 
 
 GaLdlla 
 f Down L ) The young Indian Prince vail be — there, 
 
 (Both tako chairs. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 fPlacinp; her chair down R, ) That's the Earl of Kensinnton, 
 
 Camilla 
 fPlacinn hor chair L. ) That' s the Indian Prince. 
 
 Kitty 
 (Actinr to chair .vith business suited to v;-ords) The ?.'ar-- 
 chionoss introduces me -~ that's it — lUs Lordsiiip, the Earl 
 of Kensington ~- H'aun-of- the-Glon. She curtosys; he bows. 
 (Tips the chair to make it bow.) Really, rry lord! yos, my 
 l^rdl 1 havj a true woman's nature. Alas' 1 am only a poor 
 simple Indian maiden — but you — rich — powerful — ni^^^^i 
 Love, my lord? Love! Does the Kaun love the brook that 
 brin;,s it coolinjj draught — dost say thcu loves b n e ? A-hl 
 
 Camilla 
 
 (Acting to chair with business suited to ./ords) Our eyes 
 liiot ! we understood each other in a iroment . 'forgive my blush- 
 es. You saved our lives — you! T do not recofinize the d^ess 
 but that voiczj — thcit fc.co — that forLi — I cannot be de- 
 ceived. You are the Prince! -vhat grace — what an air! The 
 
:i...Lj:" 
 
iiioro 1 see of Id m the more I loyo him. ?I{j iii in lovel Ah — 
 1 breathe anain: 'Vhat j oy is this that rraket; my heart boat 
 faster? 
 
 Kitty 
 
 ( Readinp. ) "The Earl croasos to "C* f Naming letter) I v/on- 
 dor .vhat that ifieuns? Ah, yea, 1 roifiOir-bor — it moans the :r.i(l- 
 cae. 
 
 Gamil la. 
 ^Roaciinrr) "Thcj Indian Ponce mov 23 "R and L" I '/ondor whc^re 
 f R. and L. "is ! 
 
 Kitty 
 (RoadinL: — puaalod) -R — U — E. » 
 
 CaiLil la 
 ( Reading ) «C — • D — F» 
 
 Kitty 
 The Earl goas buanoin^i around ai:iong the letters — -.vhy don't 
 he say the whole alphabet and bo done with itl Whore is, the 
 Earl ? 
 
 CaiidJ la. 
 
 f Roadin Q) "The Marc h ion wii^ falls into . ^.-^ Prince's ar»ns, " 
 1 0^1 and .r stand tiiat . anyway, 
 
 Kitty 
 
 f Roadinn ) "Tho Indian Princoss sinks back upon the Earl's 
 
 bosoiL" I can do that « wherever he is! (Reads) "The Earl 
 
 places his arit about her waist" I'll find hin;!, A-h, 
 
 fPallini' back 0. front. Qqr.-Jlla 13 
 doing the rjaT.e. ) 
 
 GaiTiil la. 
 A— h! 
 
 Kitty 
 That's where my song is introduced, 
 
 GaiLi] la 
 The symphony for ir^y aria begins here. 
 
 fThjy sink back ar^ainst oa ch other 0. 
 Up to this point thoy hcive not 
 shown the slifihtest realization of 
 
Il 
 
oach other* s presence. Thoy start up .yjtfi little s .3 reams , 
 
 and sLi'Jdenly qq on with their part_i; 
 rapidly arid siu^^^tjunt^ , rx.ovinc up 
 and dovvn, kitty R aiid c^::illa L. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 The Earl of Kensington is on hi^s v/ay hore from Enbl""^ with 
 hiij sister, the !^archionoss of Helgravia, The Kaun-of->ho 
 Glen loves the Paleface hero. Her father i^ the son of the 
 
 Woon and the Ha>vk. 
 
 Cciiijilla. 
 All our fellow- pas'sengers wore killed and \.'o only e.^oaped by 
 a miracle. The assaulted the staoe-coach and woi-e Just about 
 to kill me, also, — the leader of the party ciie^ked his up- 
 raiSGd arm — we .vere saved 1 
 
 They cuiie down R. and L. sincin^:; a 
 duet oo different airs. fjai^illa, 
 a s lo./ sentiLiontal air: Kit tj . a 
 
 very lively ai r ^ .ihieh •b^^''^ with 
 the other and to saiie orciiostral 
 accoinpaninient . Kitty dances to her 
 song. CaiLJlla iroyeo gracefully with 
 sent indent al f^esLures. The curtain 
 giusic has continued lightly froiL 
 the first and changes during the 
 last few words above to the intro- 
 duction for the accon paiiiri.v'^nt . \ • 
 
 «D o u b 1 e - A i r Duet" 
 Kitty and Gainilla. 
 
 (Note : -- The only two airs the 
 author happens to know which go 
 together are "Home, Sweet Ilome" and 
 an Entail sh .*^;c:iotti sche called "The 
 National", A copy of this ,;i ll be 
 found in the accompanying music at 
 the beginning of this Act, ujarl-ed 
 NO. 1, As ^Ilotue, sweet Homo* is so 
 very hackneyed, ho./ev;r, it ..ill bu 
 bet r.er if the nusical conductor can 
 select two other pieces of similarly 
 different ch.aracters that will go 
 together. The author will have 
 words n!it to any airs chosen, if 
 
noceskiary , Ho woul-i hci,w<^ hcxd words 
 put to the schuttischo nonti 0:1^*3 
 if he had bo en certain that it would 
 be used. Of courso, the words m 
 tiiis case dro of slight c on sj dera- 
 tion at» their sense .vil 1 hardly bo 
 distinguished. The contract of 
 music and action iti depended un for 
 a pretty effect as a finale of the 
 opening scone. If the "National 
 .^chotti sche" be used, the parts 
 iDarkcd "A" and «B" 1^0 with the 1st 
 and 2nd parts of "Poljg, .'^.veot Homo" 
 respect ivoly , ) 
 
 Kitty 
 I sjian't sing that son at the perforii^ance. 
 
 Call ilia 
 3 don't like nine either: but the prograiciiios are printed, 
 
 -Kit ty 
 Never n^ind the prograniriios. Kake one of the ^jentlcrr.on apolo- 
 gize, Thcy's mistake us for professionals if sorro one didn't 
 apologize tv.o or three tjnes during the evening. V/e' re Ama- 
 teurs, 
 
 Oariilla. 
 
 Did I tell you? Mrs. Mortbank has sold tv/-'nty-fi vettckets 
 rjhe went around t^ the gontleinen' s offices, 
 
 Kitty 
 Yes; she's real pretty, but Mrs. Brov/nloy is prettier: J^he' s 
 sold forty tickets, I told V.r. Garncross he neod never to 
 £peak to me again if he didn't taio fif'tein tickets, }\q took 
 
 en , 
 
 OaiiU 11 a 
 
 ViV, Bates took ten fro'i ■ •.•^. T told h in^ the sarTiO thing. 
 
 Kitty. 
 
 Gentlei-nen always buy amateur benefit tickets. 
 
 (Bell outside) ^he begins repeat- 
 ing iier y^irt a,,c.in ^:ith lines t'ror. 
 above. A S'ji^'jr^t enters: gives a 
 note to C an- i 1 1 a qi: d re ti r o s ; ^'^hil e 
 Camilla is reading it, up L.O. Kitty 
 
v^ J i i 
 
is HQinR throuHh business yyith 
 chair, dov;n R, as if ainkjnct into 
 geiUluiiian* s ari..s, 8:q, 
 
 OcUiiil la 
 Ahf Kitty I '''r. l^ tzruaurioe i^ callj'i aw<^j ::>a4deDl^ go Mqv/ 
 Yorh — by teler^raph. 
 
 The Karl I My Earl! 
 "liuportant bu^incssl 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Cair;illa 
 
 That's the third chan^^o in my lov;3rs since wc began, "VhOi^a 
 bosom am I going to fall on? — that's »Yhiit | v/ant to know. 
 It's bad onoui^h to havo your lover <jO runn^n^T all about tho 
 stag© after tho alphabet — down T, — und up R: and L.U. E -- 
 and A B E n* G: and nov/ it isn't any particular man after 
 
 alll A girl can*' t keop on boin^' in love even v/ith a foreign 
 i'iOblt'ir.an , if he's aiiothor Lian evory time she sees him; i have 
 itl I'JT) going to settle it; f.SittJnf^ at desk vvith p<^n and 
 
 Panyr . ) T*m f-oin;: to fasten on one partieular li.aii for niy 
 lover, and I'm coing to stick to hiii., f "'ritinr^) 
 
 Canal la. 
 
 That tts Eiore then every girl does. But who is it going to be 
 
 ( Sits at t^ble L. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 (As she v/rites) The Reverend Ernest Dnckworth. 
 
 Oanalla. 
 
 Ernest Duok^^orth, ]'<.-j is j -ur r-^al lover! 
 
 Kitty 
 f As she >. ri t es ) Pastor ^f the church, under the auspices 
 of <,hich this ben of it is >jiven, 
 
 Gairdlla 
 
 Surely ho — a clergyman — lie .vill not take a part. 
 
 Kitty 
 f^till v/ritin^) Yes, he v/ill. I'll make hin:! lie's one of 
 the Jolly sort, anyv/ay. Ho told mo once, if lie hadn't gone 
 
r a 
 
iut o the pulpit he* d hav^- -^n-^ ^n the stciga; and he didn't 
 know in v.'hich callintf ho nlglit havo dono th^-* niOst good. Be- 
 sides, wo' re ongagod to hi rnarriod, and ho can't htjip hii-solf! 
 
 'lanilla 
 
 Can» t holp hiiiiself ? 
 
 Kitty 
 1*11 '..■..^'. iiii.. ^.. A'O do tJ-ie {juntl.jii^oii ^— .. - .: - - — -to. Th^y 
 can't help therrselves. I'll tell hirr; never to spoak to mo 
 again unless ho doe;-, it. T :^hall insist on his bsing Dy 
 lover on tho stage as woll as off. There. f^-hirls round 
 in >;hj:ir: roaMs t'l. lott.-r .^'he hao ..ritLen ) "To the Reve- 
 rend 5rn:3St Duvjkworth" It's a bisanjss n-att^r, so T'vo wrote 
 it formal and business like, you kno./ — "To the Reverend 
 Ernest Duckworth — my darling Erny — Dear '^ir — Ploaso 
 ooir.o and soo mo at once. J ./ich to sreak ..it. you on sery im- 
 portant business connectod with the interests of the parish. 
 Very respectfully your obedient servant, witli d do^on v/aitn 
 kisses, Katharine Plumpot — Kitty" '"herei doesn't that 
 Soiffnd line a rej^ular business 1-tter ? fOro;^s^3; to Oaf^tilla. ) 
 
 Caniilla. 
 
 Ha! haj ha! ha! f Rin; Idj boll on table) A stri^nlj business 
 letter. 
 
 ( Enter servant) 
 
 Kitty 
 f Gi V i n.f ^ 10 1 1 or top gird 11a. ) T^y as.'iurnint: a business tone 
 he will consider it in.portant. 
 
 fr.ntor servant. ,\'ho reeoivos letter 
 cind i I::- 1 rue ti jns fra" riair.illa: 
 Kitty, rr.t'aii tii' o, [y^'itig tl.rcut:h bus- 
 in. u;ii, ■.■•jt'noor ..jt'oDt .;^rd3^ c.s 
 b fore. ) 
 1 can do that sinking on his bosom a groat deal bettor now I 
 knov. jt*s going tu bo RiT^ost. I3ut .':on» t it bo jolly, Oair.il- 
 la? Your real lover. Captain Harry Opdyko -- 
 
 Gaiii lla 
 Vy real lover ? 
 
 Kitty 
 I^arry is sure to propose to you before wo got t'u'our<h those 
 rehearsals. 
 
Camilla 
 
 Indoed. 
 
 Kitty 
 The gQUtloinen alv/ays do. That's what n.ost of the air«ateur 
 porf ormances are [^ot up for As to I^arry and ycu — you hc«vj 
 been as good as engaged f^r six nonths. Y^ur real lover 
 will be your lover in the pay ^ and my real loy^-r .vill be ;r,y 
 lover in the play. It'll give 'en, b-th pra<jtico. 
 
 QaTiUlla 
 ( Seated at piano ) Err.est, at least, hardly needs that, iry 
 dear. 
 
 Kitty 
 If C-ptain Harry Opdyko neods it, with a yonnf{ ..idow to teach 
 hiir his part, he isn't like i;;jir.e military men I imow, 
 
 Oairdlla 
 
 Ha-ha-hal youn^f clergyrr-on and y-un^; officers are about equal- 
 ly faJiiiliar v;ith th3 role. Tra-la-la-la- ( ^'iof :i np, a fcv/ 
 bars or an T tali an Aria) Do you know, Kitty, T ar coir.pl etc- 
 ly b -wil'ler-jd as to ^vhat operatic selection 7 ^ ■ :i t r\.].:o ^"or 
 that ai-i a of iiiine in the play. 
 
 Kitty 
 T!io one ..here 1 iicuoiipany you ,,ith the Rarl le^.j..,^ over nie 
 and turning the leaves ? 
 
 Yes. 
 
 ^Vhy not do 
 
 Ohl — this, you rcean? 
 
 Camilla 
 
 Fit tY 
 from 
 
 Caii.il la 
 
 ( .li: ilia aa J o;:.pani cs on the pi an o 
 an d K i t '■ y burl e s que :-: an T t al i an 
 operatic solo by "rii^:a "^or.r.a. 
 
 Opera Prin.a Donna Burlesque; — Fitty. 
 
 Kitty 
 There! "^ing it that ay and you'll bring dov/n th^-- house. 
 
 fCroL;scj to R. ^ :!ll Outside.) 
 
gamilla 
 ''?.-ha-haI about n;y bars. 
 
 ( Enter servcint yith a small box 
 
 aboi 
 
 it tY 
 
 olv8 inches 
 
 lonf{, ten v/ide 
 
 and 
 
 four 
 
 do'ip: also 
 
 an orn 
 arro,vs. 
 
 uiTiOnt al 
 
 bov/ 
 
 ctnd 
 
 a quivorj.of 
 
 Also 
 
 a no t e , 
 
 ntj:illa roc 
 
 jiVO;; t 
 
 hoir and 
 
 tho servant rati res. 
 These are for you, Kitty, fron- the costun>ors. 
 
 Kit tv . 
 
 The ccstuir^or's ? Is that all uhe sunt ? .ihe ^vas to send mo 
 
 tho whole costume tins rroi-nmt!. I ./a;.: :;iiro y'^ ' >.'■ >^.i '' dis- 
 appoint L.<:, 
 
 f ^he tak'js box ^--a, and opons lottpr^ 
 
 Gairdlla 
 
 ( ^ At Piano) Tra-la-la-la 111- la 
 
 f T r y 1 iVf\ a n o t he r op ^ r a t j c ai r , Kitty 
 
 oundenl 
 
 V r(iv33 a 
 
 li 
 
 t'l. 
 
 oC i" 
 
 •.}ari:. 
 
 CaiDilla 
 
 starts an 
 
 d 
 
 look 
 
 s 
 
 -ir 
 
 oiin -^ ^t 
 
 her. :■' 
 
 itty ;:3V-^ 
 
 a 
 
 noth. 
 
 or 
 
 1 
 
 jttlG 
 
 3^ /o aiii , 
 
 hoi 'i nr; u 
 
 u^- 
 
 t N 
 
 >j 
 
 j'[ 
 
 bv the 
 
 stri nr. 
 
 on ho r f in 
 
 i\ *'- 
 
 r, .. 
 
 r ; rl 
 
 «.• 
 
 i.arf.orinp 
 
 back as 
 
 if r.int. 
 
 
 Ocii.i 
 
 il 
 
 ^ 
 
 con es 
 
 down . 
 
 Kitty 
 The - the - costuLicr - (catching, hor breath) says - my- n;y 
 ;vti rf> cw:-*nr-fi, as t'e Tndjo'i '^rincoss - is in that b.q ^F 
 
 Tho entire — 
 
 Gaitors and all! 
 
 Ha-ha-ha- ha-ha- ha 1 
 
 Cairdlla 
 
 Kitty 
 
 C<iii:illa 
 
 Fit !-.y 
 
 The Reverend Ernest Duck//orth Liukinj^ love to ^: .;cn;an that 
 ]\c;sn't anything on but Vvhat'^ in that box, 
 
 Gai..illa 
 fOT)ena box) Ha-ha-ha-h^.-hal 
 
AU 
 
 Kitty 
 fKouilinf- let tor) "This is tho rej^^ular prof ^j^i.-aonal oubtume 
 1 hav- taken the liberty tc lonfjtheri the skirt by an addi- 
 tional row of baacls, m viov/ of the fact that you t^re an arna- 
 tour* 
 
 Ccmiilla 
 
 Ha-hd-hal Another row of bjad; 
 
 1' j 1 1 / 
 
 Ila-ha-ha-ha: It is ovi-liiit that 1 ii.ust »ake my ov;n In^iiafi 
 Princtitis oostuiie, aftur all. I'll run and put thi3 on rt!iile 
 \YQ ar*^ alone together, just for tj\'3 f^jn of the thing. Ha-ha- 
 ha-ha-hal You'll see ho' 1 look as a "prof csiji cnalt- In^'ian 
 Prinoeiis. f RunnincT to door T>.^.F,. ) Ha-ha-ha-hal Imagine 
 L.e droaticd in that: f Hoi -'in,: up box ) before an audionco, 
 llai hal ho.1 a paj r of f^ditors and a bow u:id arrowi }Ta-ha-hjl 
 And the Royorend L:r. Duchvrorth as the Earl! ![a-ha-hal Tf 
 Ernest should ever see mo in it ev Jn by c^ccidend, ho couldn't 
 .vrito a s innon for the next six weeks; }(a-ha-hai Tra-la-la! 
 
 f Dances and 3in;s herself out,) 
 
 R.l.^.. ) 
 TNota: — Tf thought botter busines.., 
 let Kit'.y, nntJ! pa^je 9, open box, 
 instead of n.oroly h Idinfj it on her 
 finger, and diiiplay tights, gaiter:. 
 and ex t r eii.el y j hor t skirt.) 
 
 Cat-j 11a, 
 f Alone, as Kitty noes out.) Ha- ha- ha I -Vhat a nuisance th.)SO 
 dresojs arol t.'y o./n oostuiiie should be hoiiio this inorriing, 
 f Tiookin;; :^t opera cloak R. ) I hiirdly Uiink this op^ra cloak 
 Y;ill <ju ^/ith I'iy dress after all, I must got another, f Leaver 
 the oloak.P Kitty insists tiiat Hari'y Opdyko and I are lovers 
 already. Ah - v;ell — Ttcigho! , A young v/ido/v- and a y^iing of- 
 fic-:)r should never be stationed at the sarr.o lulitary post, 
 '?v]i^n Harry doos propose to me — Ha-h>^-ha, 1 v/ondor how the 
 fello,. -ill ^'o it: I dare say he is revolving some plan of 
 ■ Men assault in his mind, 1 must be on uy guard — like a 
 -d general. But v/hich of the operatic arias shall T sing 
 JL. tliat scene? Let irie seo: "Traviata?" 
 
 Oenis iroj. the Opera:-- ColmiIu, 
 
 f F^ho sings the choicest soprano bi t 
 frQtr> Traviata. ./ith orcho:-'tra, act- 
 ing^' g s sh o si n gs ) 
 
Nol I'll not oinn that. « Rigol- ttC ? 
 
 Lf^h-^' sin;::. siLMl£.rly frorr "Ri^-^clot t p) 
 
 Nol 1 don't qint>3 like that either. "Nortra?" Tra-1 i-la-lal 
 
 f S i n r. >s a f vj .V ba rs .•' i 1 1 i ^u t ore Iv-'- ::i t r a : 
 s '. or) o fill ^1 (ie 1 1 1 v ct li if t. h 3 nki n [^ ) 
 " ^avori t^:?" Tra-lcji-l.i- 1 a-I al fA I'o// u^-rs as ctbove) Lu^ire- 
 tia Horciia?" Tra-l.^-l^-la! f /■ r-^v/ bL;rs of tho laufhir^^^ Sunp) 
 NO' An — "Trovatorol " 
 
 f ohe iiint-s fr-^i' 
 
 "Trovat'or'j" 
 
 ./ith 
 
 
 oroiiOotra, c^nd 
 
 -ith tho 
 
 Ut-i 
 
 u al son- 
 
 tiK.ontal r:^j:^t'::- 
 
 -s ar,d :r. 
 
 JVV) 
 
 '.,-;. ts 
 
 of 
 
 Leonora* ti part . 
 
 T'arry 
 
 Or-' 
 
 dyko 
 
 
 out .:-ro , at fJ, \ 
 
 f roi;.: R, 
 
 as 
 
 i:i:iO : 
 
 1 3 
 
 sin^inf; the latt ;r part 
 
 • 
 
 He 2 
 
 rad- 
 
 uallv ap;iroacho 
 
 .; i\or. 
 
 .'^ho, st 
 
 ii i 
 
 actin^^ the part 
 
 of Looii 
 
 .ra 
 
 . sin 
 
 '. v> 
 
 baok as if into 
 
 !:^iCr 1 V 
 
 n'» 
 
 3 arm 
 
 3 » 
 
 >{a r ry o a r c h « s h 
 
 or. Sho 
 
 £]t 
 
 an d a ' 
 
 iJl 
 
 Hi th a lit. bio c 
 
 ry , look. 
 
 in- 
 
 ov or 
 
 her 
 
 Go onl 
 
 shou Idar) 
 
 !{arry 
 
 ff^ho -iv}>.; a c;jqu3ttiGh l^u^h ^\\d thy 
 finish the oassare as a duet. 
 ITotol-- Thj above s-jloction fro::. 
 operas arc purely arbitrary, and n:aj 
 bo variod, of course, as nianaf'er ox- 
 conductor sees fit. Alter ^andl- 
 la' H lafit spaoch above acc^rdintj to 
 selections nade, 
 
 Harry 
 
 T aiT; here, youseo, ii:y dd_-.r "ra. ^"^TeiitlakG , half an hour before 
 the tifiie for rehearsal, 
 
 Gau.illa 
 
 ore than niilitary proL.ptn .Jija. 
 
 T oa;. o in time for a llttlo private rehear^sal on i:> o ,,n ac- 
 count. 
 
A private rohjaj-sul? 
 
 C an. ilia 
 
 Ilarrv 
 
 Of a boene that isn't in the prcgrairime. A little coK.edy v/ith 
 t'.vo cijaracters, 
 
 (3 u; ilia 
 
 ( Aoido) He is goiui^, "^ pr^poael 
 
 Harry 
 I'll tell you the plot, A y-^un^ officer.-- 
 
 Carr.jlla 
 A youni.; officer ? The plot irj very interestinc , '^^ far, 
 
 ^-'ariry 
 Very, Hut the next tiiini is u.-ore interei-^inr otlll. A youn^; 
 
 ./idcv — 
 
 Dam ill a 
 You con^-i'lor thdt n;Ore int orootin?: ? 
 
 Harry 
 I'.'uch -- to a young orfioor, Mo,,' for tho rjhoarsal. You are 
 to bo tho young widow. 
 
 Garni 11a 
 A y-un^ v;idov/l — iioxghoi Of coursj it is o. pathetic part. 
 
 r groppinp, ht^r hocxd and puttjnr^ ht^r 
 hundk-^r chief to hor '^y^'*^') 
 
 Harry 
 'ihe has boon a widov.^ four yearis, 
 
 Daii'-illa 
 OJil rRoiiiirvjher head a nd sruilin.r) 1 ra-ehbcn'; vou Eaid 
 it v/as a ooiaody. 
 
 Scovo, ")ra\Yinj.j- roo,'. of ':h 
 
 itT y^ounf^- v/idow: Zritor }"^unn 
 
 officer. 
 
 Gairdlla 
 I don»t know a lino of my part. 
 
 Harry 
 
 Evor} vord of it /.ill coii.^j; Lo j^ou aa vve go on, 
 
 (Crosses to R. ) 
 
(Enter Rev. Ernest Duck.vortli CD. 
 Tro)'! T?. H(i ;jtops up 0. SQein^^ theff- 
 front. ) 
 
 Harry 
 
 Young offiijor spoaking a^^ ho antors — 
 
 Ernost 
 ( Asi cl e ) They are rehearsing, 1 will not interrupt then^. , 
 
 f Sits) 
 
 Gainilla 
 Well ? 
 
 Harry 
 The — T -- the — the t'i rijt words have eseaped my ov;n ir>ind, 
 I don't quite knov; how it dooi-; begin. 
 
 Caaulla 
 
 Nov/ that you remind me, perhaps 1 can help you. 1 rejnaii ber 
 the piece. 
 
 Harry 
 ( Aside) ,'^ho» s played in it before. 
 
 Cairdlla 
 
 The younf^ officer is speaking to hiiriself as he enters. He 
 is sayinc exactly v/hat he thinks — of the younn v/idow, 
 
 JIarry 
 Oh — yos — exactly. 
 
 Oaixdlla 
 Go en . 
 
 Harry 
 F^he is an an eel ! 
 
 Oarnilla 
 Oh, no; nothing of the k'ind. He is supposed to be a real 
 lover, not a sham one -- paying pretty coirpliments. 
 
 Ha r ry 
 
 f^he i s a ./auan — 
 
 Camilla 
 That^-s better. 
 
Harry 
 — whoir. onoo to rr.ee t is to ad- re. 
 
 Ooiiilla 
 No — no — no.7 you aro in hoaven again; oome back to earlhl 
 
 Harry 
 You can ir.ako earth a heave u for i^e! 
 
 fTo her directly and ogrnestly) 
 
 Ernest 
 ( Asi d e ) Vory good actor, Hurry ia. Theso military men al- 
 ways are, 
 
 Co on. That's not my ciio, 
 
 Harry 
 I love tho' y Jung wi'io^/ frar- the bottuL- of my hoart? 
 
 That is ffi> cue. Why do^ji my hoart flutter so .vhen ho ap- 
 proaches? 
 
 Harry 
 
 ( Ea/^erly ) Doos it really flatter — does it really flutter 
 v;hcn i jon.e ear V 
 
 Oaii.il la 
 T 'bonder nov/ if the young officer really and truly dooa love 
 li.e. " 
 
 Harry 
 
 Upon my soul he does! fSprin;-inp; to her ea^urly) He loves 
 you devotedly, earnobtly, sincerely — ( ^oi zi uh ho r han d ) 
 Mo man over loved a woman more d>ieply — n^iieelJ-nLl ) more pas- 
 sionately — more — 
 
 Eronet 
 travel bravo! 
 
 f01appin{2 his hands and rushing foi^ 
 Y/ard. Harry :>tart^ back. E rnest 
 nrasp:f. both hi^ hands, shakin;.-^ them 
 enthusiastically, arid followinrj him 
 up R. ) 
 Magnificent, my dear Harx-y! you do it splendidly — splendid- 
 ly I ny deay boy — splendidly! 
 
GalldlliX 
 
 Ha- ha- ha- ha- ha- ha- ha ! 
 
 Ernest 
 So perfectly natural — wasn't he, Vrs. Westlake ? 
 
 Gair.illa 
 
 ( }]Q drops on p iano stool touchin^tho 
 
 Perfectly natural: ]lL.-ho.-ha-ha! 
 
 Ernost 
 It was like a scene frorr. real life. 
 
 }]Q drops 
 keys lightly and carolossly ) . 
 
 Camilla 
 If Captain Opdyke doeti it naturally the next tiL;© \;o have a 
 •private rehearsal" T shall almost believe it i^ a scene from 
 fror; real life. Ha-ha-ha-hal 
 
 Harry 
 Laughin;;;^ at me!- ( Aai de) A man al/»'ays maizes a donkey of hin> 
 self v.'hen ho proposes to a wanan. Ah, v/cll — T 'arfJ r^ay sho 
 wouldn't accept hjrn if he didn't. Hhe vvouldnft think he 
 meant it. 
 
 Ern'ist . 
 
 (^inyjnp^ t.'ie refrain to r.is Ovvn ac- 
 coL:T)anirr)-nt ) 
 A\'d.y fro!. his church and a,va> froiL Jiis books, 
 A young parson is not such a stain t a^ ho looks, 
 
 "The Jolly young Parson: — Ernest. 
 Song and Trio, 
 
 (After the refrair., ErnjJt rises, 
 coiLos down C and sinns the full " " 
 _sont:^ .vith re.^'ilar orjhe:jtral accoE'-^ 
 paniinent. The refrair: at the end 
 _of each stani^a is re-: o.^ ted as a 
 trio chorus >Yi th Harx-y and CaJ:-illa. 
 They all fiance a.s the> sing, or dur- 
 iii? iriterval rrusic. I, the first 
 chorus CrrC'.'Jt tako^. Camilla daintily 
 b> the finger-tips, t u r n i n p, ./ i, t h hor 
 v/hilo Harry dances rouna t.hor n R <'; Tj. 
 In the next ]!arry >.altzes \vith his"^ 
 
Q,ri. about CaJi-jlla, ErriO;..t dancinf^ 
 around thori: to J?,^ L, So alternately 
 ThJ idea of the aon^ and action 
 should bo that of jollity, not fast- 
 nosa, on the part of EriiO;:,t, ) 
 
 The jolly Young Parson i? 
 
 Original .Sono. 
 'Vords by 
 Henry ^. Leif;:h. 
 
 A Parson — a nico-lookinrj parison — an: 1, 
 
 As religious as most of my noichbors; 
 1* d like to haar -Jiny one dare to -'eny 
 
 That T stick like a brick to my labors. 
 But thou[5hts, nov/ and then, that are x)lfjadant and [,'ay 
 
 In the clerical boiiom will riso up; 
 V(o can* t keep a sanctified visapt? all day, 
 
 And be turning the .whites of our eyes up. 
 Away from his church, and a.v"ay froiXi his books, 
 A youn^ Person is r:ot such a Sctint as ho looks, 
 
 (Tr io rjhorus ) 
 Away fron") his church, etc, 
 
 II. 
 
 I never could think it excessively wror^g , 
 
 To give v/ay to good spirits and laughter: 
 I cannot believe that a dance or a song, 
 
 Ts a crime to be punished hereartv,'r. 
 In canting and whining', our days to employ, 
 
 Ts a woaknesri as well as a folly , 
 Our li^es v/ere not given to waste, but enjoy, 
 
 f^o I mean that my own shall be jolly. 
 Away froiii his ciiurch, and a//ay frou r:is books, 
 A young Parson is not such a saint as ho looks. 
 
 (Trio Chorus) 
 
 r ''rtv.' ' i ;-; church, etc, 
 
 TTI. 
 
 It seec;s pretty rough upon clerical iLon 
 
 To bo looked at as despex*ate sinne.s 
 
['or playing a rubber of whist no^- and then 
 
 Which ii: harrjless as eatin^i our dinners, 
 
 ir billiards are v/icked arid cards are profane, 
 A most horrible fate will befall me: 
 
 I've played theni before, and shall play then, again; 
 Mover rrdnd what the pious may call me. 
 
 Away from his church and away from his books, 
 
 A young Parson is not such a saint as he looks, 
 
 f Trio Chorus. ) 
 Away from his church, etc, 
 
 IV. 
 At private theatricals, amateur plays, 
 
 T Would fain be a prorr^inont f:3atnro: 
 But ah, how my vestry would frown v/ith amaze, 
 
 At so riafjrantly wicked a creature, 
 T*'p partial to pleasure, T candidly own; 
 
 Thou^.^h ray flock very nau'^hty may term it. 
 T don't iiiean to live in a cavern al-^ne, 
 
 And exiist upon roots like a hernit, 
 Av/ay from his church, and a.vay from his books, 
 A youno Parson is not such a saint as he lo.ks, 
 
 (Trio Chorus) 
 Away fro^:; his church, etc, 
 
 \ Ernest 
 
 Those are my sentim.ents embalmed in verse and sot to music. 
 Two hundred years ago I would have been hiong for them. But 
 what is this "important but^inass connected with the interoi-st 
 of my parish" — what on earth can Kitty Plumpot — charity or 
 trouble in the vestry ? 
 
 Oaiiiilla 
 
 Ila-ha-ha-ha! An object of charity, certainly — A poor girl 
 who lost 
 
 Ernest 
 
 Her parents V 
 
 Qi^xmilla 
 I o, her lovorl 'Vhethjr there will also be trouble in the 
 Vestry, remains to be seen fUell outside ) But the lady niust 
 Speak for h'3rsfe3jf, 
 
 fF.nter eorvant with huge drpss-box 
 as large as he cttn carry.) 
 
Ah, my costiuno as the "Marchioness of Belgravia" 
 
 Harry 
 I £ci to be the Indian Prince; Ac^ 1 to GiKbr^cQ all that in 
 the love scene ? 
 
 Camilla 
 I will send you the box to practice on. If you v/jll excuse 
 me, gentloiiion, 1 will try on my costume at once, 
 
 Harry 
 Oh — by- the- bye, you icno.v the sketch 1 a.\ t*^ do in "Part 
 First" — 1 brought the costuiae with me. It's in the hall, 
 
 Camilla 
 Thomas, show Captain Opdj^kjj to tho blue r^oiu; and then take 
 the costuiuo box Lo my o.vn apartment. 
 
 Au rcvoir, J^,eiitlelijell. 
 
 Au revoir. 
 
 fExit servant C, D. to R, ) 
 
 Both 
 
 fSxit Caiiiilla CD. to l. Harry is 
 going up. Ernest pinches him.) 
 
 Ernest 
 
 Harry, old boy, you pretended to make lovo to thdf widow raajg- 
 nificentlyi you're an actor, 
 
 Harry 
 
 I'll do it still better the next time I "pretend" to make 
 1 ov e to h er . 
 
 ( Exit CD, to P. ) 
 
 P,rnest . 
 l^e did it so well I almost thought he was in earnest, 
 
 (Kitty's voice is heard v/ithout l 
 
 (singing a bright air, !'usic ) 
 Kitty I dear Kitty 1 alvrays singing or laughing! 
 
 (Listens: the singing continues.) 
 And yet so modest with it all, T aii' a luck> } oung dog of a 
 parson. Kitty ./ill make a goud, bright, sv/eet, clergyman's 
 wife. "Tiiipcrtant bat^iness coiinoct jd with tjie interests of 
 the Parish" 
 
 Kitt} 
 
 (^nthout ) Oh -- Caiiillal Ha-ha- ha- (sin^s) Camilla — hi 
 ha-ha! -w. 
 
f She comes bouncin^^ in L.3 E. in the 
 Indian Pringpss* 3 costuiie. It is 
 highly ornaniental v/ith ox t rem ply 
 sh or t sk i r t : red In 1 J an- fl sh 
 tip:ht-,: fruiters; feathers: bow 
 and arrovvs, tea, She prc.tDo«6S in 
 across stage v/ithout seeing^ Ernest 
 • who starts and stares at hor. as- 
 tonished, shocked and bovvildercd. 
 She rattles on as if apoakinfy to 
 Candllai but dancinp to and fro 
 front, to iiusic: strikincr atti- 
 tudes, dropping to one knee with 
 tlie bent bov/, ■^••j. throv/infj ur her 
 heels r.errily. ) 
 The Indian Princess! Ha-ha-hal '^'ouldn' t the audience be 
 astonished, Cai-illa ? Ila-ha- ha-ha! T/iss Katharine PluDipet ^ 
 for this occasion onl^ , as t'.e i^aun-of- the-Glen! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 
 Wouldn't the ucvorend Ernest Duckworth be shocked — i f he 
 could only sec me in this ? ]!a- ha- hci- ha-ha! f "usic ) 
 
 Indian Princess Dancel — Kitty. 
 
 (Ernest regard,.; ^er with staring eyes 
 an d g est u res , whi c h s hov/ hov/ as t on - 
 isjied and chocked he is. Ho edges 
 behind piano or other piece of fur- 
 niture: dropping out of si^ht whou 
 the mov omen t of Kitty's dan c e mak es 
 it necessary so that she may not see 
 
 him. He throws in remarks, as «A 
 cl er;^yinan* s vvife! "Irriportant bus- 
 iness!" "The interests of the Pai^ 
 ish" as the ii^usic aljov/s. At last 
 Kitty su'ldonly confronts him and 
 screams vigorously, Sho trusn, 
 quick as thought: snatches yp the 
 opera-cloak R. ^. throvvs it about 
 her waist and oyer her legs: and 
 curls up on a sofa, Or in a > chair R 
 bawling aloudblike a spoiled child. 
 Covers her face v/ith her hands, Er- 
 nest approaches her, ) 
 
 Go 
 
 Kitty 
 av/ay , you n\ml Go a./ay , you r:;an , you! 
 
Ernest 
 My doar Kitty — 
 
 Kitty, 
 Go av/ay , you nr^^^ ^^iily r^^an! T didn't know any body wa£> in 
 the house but Camilla. I just put it on Tor run, 0-o-hI 
 
 f Bawls ) 
 
 Ernost 
 
 Vy darling Kittyl T — T — confosi, I was a little startled, 
 at first, but of c-v^urso it was only — 
 
 Kitty 
 0-o-oh! 
 
 Ernos t 
 There, my pot — don't cry I fKneelinr at her side) 
 
 Kitty 
 0-o-o-h! 
 
 a^o places his ami about h'^r neck 
 and brin::s hor head to his shoulder 
 sn^ot heriny! hoc sob suddenly. ) 
 
 Ernesto 
 
 It was only a^n accident. fRjloas.^s her haad^ 
 
 Kitty 
 0-o~o-o-hl 
 
 ( }\e brings her head dov/n a^ain . her 
 
 nriout!- i'V-^inst his shoulder, ehokinn 
 h'3 r i Ti t. o s ud d eij ■;• i 1 en c e , as be fore , 
 again re 1 e c^ s ^ -^ h > n* . ) 
 
 fAnain ehokes 1:1^31', Releases her) 
 
 f.Saiie business) 
 
 ( 9.3iuQ ) 
 
 fSaine; >:>:;e x-^ at labt silent.) 
 
 Ernest 
 There , riiy pot : f Tenderly, with his eheek afjainst hers^ I 
 knov/ you didn't intend an> body but Vrs, Westlake to see you; 
 nut really — I — 1 think — 1 t'^ink you looked very pretty- 
 in the costume. 
 
 0-o-o-h! 
 0-0- hi 
 0-h! 
 — 
 
Kltty 
 (With a sudden srile, rai^;in^^ Jier head.) Yuu eally think 
 I looked pretty in it. Oh, ^hat makes a difference V 
 
 Ernest 
 Ha-hal An-' you're not qu2 te eopry 1 saw you in it, aftor all? 
 
 Kitty 
 Yes, T aru, too. You great mean brute of a man, youl 0-o-o-o-h 
 
 Ernest 
 A-h! There! 
 
 (The previous business repeated un~ 
 ti I s h ar: ai n bee cir. as ci ui e t . ) 
 You \,rote n-e that you v/ished to see il-b on important business" 
 connected with the interests of the Parish, Ki'ty. 
 
 Fitty 
 
 Very ii::portLinl bu..ina:is, indeed. 
 
 Ernest ? 
 
 (T-;l:in{^'. liis urm frot:> ubout her neck, 
 and ri:-anr. to turn aA'ay. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 O-o-o — 
 
 ^ (He kneels again quickly, throvvs hi s 
 
 arm about her neck and brinrrs her 
 head to lii s shoulder. ) 
 
 Ernest 
 
 '"hat ,vas the inportant businoso you referred to ? 
 
 Kitty 
 
 I v.ant you to bo the Earl, 
 
 Ernest 
 
 The Earl? — I — Earl ? 
 
 Kitty 
 V-m. The l^arl* s my lover, in the play — for the Benefit, 
 The other fellow has gone to New York. He's the third lOver 
 T've had since we be^^an to rehearse. I'm tired of changing. 
 A girl 'A ants scfTiO one in particular for a lover — even on 
 the stage, 7 v/ant you • -> b" r^y lover in the play — :?' ' T 
 
 v/ant you to stciV so. 
 
f Durinc this speech she loosen her 
 
 be 
 
 It 
 
 and 
 
 buo 
 
 kles it 
 
 ar-und 
 
 the 
 
 top 
 
 of 
 
 tl- 
 
 .6 op 
 
 or a 
 
 Gl 
 
 ^ak , 
 
 iroUD'i } 
 
 ,or 
 
 vaist 
 
 al 
 
 so 
 
 but t 
 
 ons 
 
 up 
 
 the 
 
 cluok i 
 
 n f 
 
 r .n t 
 
 oyer hor 1j^-3> Ernest rises tliOUKhi 
 full^ 1 >tfalkin^^ L. ) 
 
 Ernest 
 Really, Kitty, — T — T should be glad to oblige you — but — 
 
 Kitjty 
 
 But vv'hat ? 
 
 Erne:.: t 
 You l-jio.^' T haven't the ::.li{jhtost objection to — indedd, 1 
 oncouraf-o every kind of innocent aiiiusoinent ; 1 danco -- and 
 play billiards — myself: but, roc*lly , the dignity of H'y — 
 
 Kitty 
 
 f.'^tartinr; up) Tf you can tidnk of anything more dionified 
 than b^^ing iny lover, go and do it I 
 
 (Vovin^ up stage angrily) The opera 
 cloak '■)■-'■. furi'.s a haii ' ' ^i or. ; y sk i r t , 
 Ur.cx^QJiii-: W3 ■ h the roi^-amdor of the 
 d re ^^ ^» in color, an d c oii.p 1 o t i n:f a 
 ^ beautiful and {-{racoful co^tuii'o. It 
 
 Just touches the sta.^o behind arid 
 ^' air. til/ sl-o.ys the tops of t!:o ?!ai~ ' 
 ters m f r...nt. ) 
 
 Ernest 
 But, riiy darling Kitty, 'Jonsidor iLy Vestry — 
 
 Kitty 
 (Turning sharply) Go and carry your vestryl 
 
 E Hi est 
 The congregation — 
 
 jgtty 
 
 ?/arry the vz-hole congretjati on I 0-o-o-o-hl 
 
 fOorrinH do.Yn ^. >. Brne^:t run^ .o hoc 
 puts his ari' abou^^ hor ij jck , ^-.nd 
 chebks h^^n" sob on his shoulder as 
 before. ) 
 
Erne at 
 There — thorel novor irand the Vestry I 
 
 Kitty 
 And the cong — eong — coiigregatiun; 
 
 Ernest 
 
 1*11 be your lover — on the stage or anywhere el ^j8. 
 
 Kitty 
 You — you will be the Earl ? 
 
 Ernest 
 
 I'll be the Earl. 
 
 A- hi 
 
 K X 1 1 y 
 
 f^^milin^: and lookin;. upat }iin. lovo 
 in^jly ) 
 
 Em est 
 
 But what a^T": 1 to say ? 
 
 Kitty 
 
 It's all down in the book: overy word — and all the letters^ 
 
 too . 
 
 V 
 
 Erenst 
 The let ters ? 
 
 Kitty 
 M-n:i That's f/her^^ you've got to go. R. •.. , and L, E, ; and 
 G. ^, — and cverywhorcl I haven't the least idea where you'll 
 have to go — but wherever you go, I* 11 go, 
 
 Ernest 
 
 My Ruth! f Affuctionatelv. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 f.LookinF: up sjfllinf^. on l-is shoulder) 'Vherever the book says 
 (The Indian Princess :^i j.^ into the dgiT.^ oT the Earll — I'll 
 bo there. 
 
 Ernest 
 A-hl 
 
 KiU^ 
 And we must smti a duet togethor. 
 
.^in^ a duet ? 
 
 There's another one down in thu book, but perhaps the One ^-^e 
 often sine together ^•.ill do. Lot's try it, no.v. 
 
 Iiovers' Duet — ""elected, 
 
 rAlternato verses froii: sentiiLontal 
 ;our:r.s: lively OD'J Tor Kitt'y. The / 
 sinp: t)ie refrain of each i:ion?- to- 
 t^Hhor: alsu the f i i al Qitanza of 
 one of then.. Action by b'-^th to 
 suit v/ords. Dux^in;; tlie 1^j-jI r'^^rt 
 of t:-.e duet, Harry rQ-entars ",.1. 
 froi:'. R. in eharaeter costume for 
 recitation, and v/i th suj table manner 
 arid gi^t for it. He stops suddenly 
 up ^. seeing Ernest and Ki'ty, at . 
 _Qn d f d ue t , i n 1 ovi ng a 1 1 j t ut e , 
 h-jr l.<)^.l on hi.:i shoulder and his 
 ann about hor nock. Ho kisse:^i her. 
 jlari'y claps iii.-^ hun-h-;, cries "braver 
 an d li n r i uf. s for .\ a r d , s e 1 z i nf; li! r n e j ts 
 i^giids. siiakinr: t,i-.c?ir) enthusiastically 
 ' and folio, in;: hiii> up L. ) 
 
 Harry 
 MaBuif icent , my dear i^rnjat: you do it ^^nlendidly — splen- 
 dioly, n,y dear boy — splcr^didlyl 
 
 Kitty 
 f R) Ha-ha-ha-h..-ha-hal 
 
 .Harry 
 F.Q perfectly natural, //usn't he Kitty ? 
 
 Xitty 
 It oanio just as natural as cuuld be, . 
 
 }larry 
 Ha-hu-hal Bag pardon the interruption: I was i)ooking f^r 
 Camilla; 3ho has gone to try on her dress as t- j ''arc hi on ess 
 aiid t ./ished to surprise hoc in it. Excuse h:o: ] * 11 be back 
 in a ffioniont, to do one of my recitations for "Part ^irst" 
 ""the Benefit. n*Qvinf: up) T inust do it all ovcx' c:f-ain, 
 
 (Exit CD. to R. ) 
 
Ernest 
 ( Asido) Vo liked the wa> I dii it, Kitty, f Oro.'^^sinrr r) 
 
 Kitty 
 So did T. You'll doffortiie Earl, T* 11 not havo to ^:;ot 
 another lov^r. 
 
 f'"^G-ent'3r Harry >. D. i coir, p.) 
 Recitution — (Selected) — Harry, 
 
 ( '''h^Ai he finishes the rocitabjon, 
 
 Harry f.:u :3 out ejthor ■":,■), or R, 3 E. 
 as r:v-y Vjj li.ost effectJve. Ernest . 
 and Kitty applaud. Harry accepts 
 the recall of the' audience ao if it 
 ■ came fr^n: Erno;Jt and ICittv. buvinf: 
 to tiier fjrst, then to the audjenco 
 rle t h '-j n d i ■:. ^p poa rs . ) 
 
 Harry 
 
 Beware of lovers* vo«.v3 for they are false as oaths. 
 
 Get thee to a nunnery -- no — Qol ^Exit , ) 
 
 Ernest 
 Harry missed his vocation when he \vont into the army in::tead 
 of on the stage. 
 
 Kitty 
 No, he didn'f^^ When our officers aren't killing Indians 
 they have to kill tiiue. n'lirtinj^, Firjht-ing and aicateur act- 
 ing are all the}' havo to do. 
 
 fpe-eiiter ^lar.illa CD. froi;; L, in 
 full b^ll-ruOi.. t Pilot of brilliant 
 G o 1 o r ;j . ) 
 
 Ernest 
 A transforrnati or. :^f.;!JOfi, 
 
 Kitty 
 Her Ladyship, the Varchioneijs of ^el^ravial 
 
 c; an ill a 
 
 Her Royal Hi.^hne-rs, the Indian Prineossi 
 
 (They '^urtojy v ? ry 1 o./ to each other) 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Allow p:--' — h:i;s Li.'rdshjp, t'-? ^^n.rl of '■"'onsmot on, 
 
(^Tntroci'jclng Ernest: ■■o and OaJ'^iHa 
 bo.v. <?-a. ) 
 
 woinilla 
 
 }!ow do you like v.j so.jtun.j for tj.e ?'arcihionesi;, ''i-iy *? 
 
 Kitty 
 Exqui^itol but I still prof-jr the whito one. 
 
 Oai-illa 
 
 I think 1 shall vvoar the .vhite one after all. ^^ut , Kitty, 
 dviiir — /'T,ookin/( thx^wU^h n^'-ld glas-^js) Your Indic^n Princess 
 uostiuiie is iDoro ox ton si vo tlivxt .vo thought. Oh ■— 1 see -- 
 you have i)ieced it ju, 
 
 Kitty 
 •Vhy didn* t >uu t el 1 rv o the men ,/ore hec o ? 
 
 ':;ai.:illa 
 
 Th^i — J..on *? Oh! H^--hi;-ha-hc.-ha-ha — I soo. 
 
 Kitty 
 
 So did Ernest, 
 
 Cc„i.:illa 
 
 Ha-ha-ha-hal You tmst forgiv o me, Ki'-ty. T was so much in- 
 terested in n^y o..'n costuiie that I quite forgot the eneii:y lay 
 in anibush for the Indian Princess. Ha-ha-hal But it is ti'::e 
 that Mr" ^ooth ^'oC, Porrest, the great tragedian, was h^i^^, 
 
 Ernest 
 The tragedian ? 
 
 Kit ty 
 nh , yes — he is playing at the theatre, you knov;, iio is 
 a friend of Oaptain Op dyke, and the Captain has seoured his 
 servues to rehearse us in t lie play. 
 
 Oaiuilla 
 He is to be here this ii.orning. 
 
 Kitty 
 I'n jus't dying to seu hin. off tiie stage, 
 
 Ofci' ilia 
 So ain 1, 
 
Ernest 
 Youngit ladies are always "dyinj-" for something or other. But 
 it doesn't affect the U'ur tali \jj lists, 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Here is his photograph f^it. h album L) in "Hcjrdet". 'fow ro- 
 Hiantic he lou^b, 
 
 GaiLilla 
 Such eyes I fLo^kint: ov^r c^lbu.:.. ) 
 
 Kitty 
 L o n <; , d a rk , f 1 o a i n g 1 oc ks I 
 
 Gai: il la 
 3ro is his P.OiiooI 
 
 I'- 1 t tv 
 Rich bro.m curls fallin}.' over hi t^ sli^uldersl Isn't he just 
 lovelyl Wo saw him in Rotneo nijjnt before last, 0-h! that 
 scone where Ron.eo and Juliet — 
 
 fGobl^inues the sentence acoording 
 to the scene soleotod f-^r folio. -inC 
 rocitcition. ) 
 
 Recitation -- ^Romeo and Juliet* 
 Kitty aijd Harry. 
 
 natty b 
 
 1 eg ins 
 
 th 
 
 scene 
 
 •.vith 
 
 Juliet Vi 
 
 Ixnjs. 
 
 liar 
 
 ry 
 
 r e- t)n t o i 
 
 L'S as 
 
 she 1 s 
 
 spo^.k 11. 
 
 ni. 
 
 Ao 
 
 S]-j 3 finifaJidS 
 
 JUiJ 'Tt *s 
 
 first s 
 
 P'-J'^Ci! 
 
 sii 
 
 'J b a y S ' 
 
 "Th 
 
 en nor..^j" 
 
 ai. d is 
 
 about 
 
 to 
 
 50 on V 
 
 /ith 
 
 his part) 
 
 Harry 
 ( Intorrup tinn) I'll do Roiiieo ! 
 
 f The^ rocite tj .j scene selected, no^^ 
 in burlJsqa^J^ b'lt as prottilv as 
 possible, until a r/Oint ■>.'hero T^.or^ }0 
 eiub races Juliet) 
 
 Harx-y 
 Then Roineo e!i; braces Juliet, 
 
 Kit t> 
 ( tjoldin^ of f ) Ko — 1 — ,ve ~- //e areii' t roh.earsing that ^ 
 you know — and we aren't obliged to do it. 
 
Harry 
 f Passing:: h-jr over to Ern-j^t) Yuu do the bUL;inos^i . Ern-st , 
 
 and 1*11 say the linos. 
 
 ( T hey p r Q c e q d wi t h the s a ^^ n e : K i t n j 
 say i n;-^ t ho 1 j p .3 s of J u ] i e t an d (^t--. 
 braciHf;, F.rnest, R. Harry rosp-^nd- 
 inn to her, with Roinoo* a IJnoa and 
 eix-braoin}--; '^cUiglla L. ) 
 
 Candllal 
 
 T^^rry I 
 
 Harry 
 
 fAftvir 7inal lin o apa rt to ^'■; arra 1 1 a , 
 
 earn .-i-tlj : !do anr. stall about hpr 
 v/aist ) 
 
 naiiilla 
 
 n'ill i'ou b^j — h-j v/ii'o 9 
 
 I — 1 — :'our — ? 
 
 Harry 
 
 G'^illa 
 
 Harry 
 
 l!y vdfu ? 
 
 Gaii.illa 
 1 — 1 — do lot me go! yov. ^im cruiihin^j idgI 
 Willi fherol 
 
 1 -- yes — 1 
 
 Harry 
 (Aloud I as i f f-uvlnn stai'o diro^tion;^ ' Roi:;30 kiss'js Juliet. 
 (J<issQs C^aiillla. Ernest kisjjS l"it ty ) That's ^vhat ;T call 
 ^00 d st£igy cnanajjeiTi'jn t — for an ainateur. 
 
 gan.il la 
 ( Asi d e ) 1 knew th^ follcv .vould fin ally take no off iny 
 guard, some way. (Bollout si d e } 
 
 fr.nter sorvan-^, : r'ivos 
 
 a c ar(2f to Ca- 
 
 iLi] 
 
 llu) 
 
 
 Oau:illa 
 (.v^c^dms,) "lA\ Uo^th KcO. Torroot." 
 
 jritty 
 Ah! the trai;>euian! he it. Jiuro! 
 
Oanij 11a. 
 Show Vr. Forrest in, Thorr.as. 
 
 (Eait s/:;rvant) 
 
 Kitty 
 rorosGinr: '^:. ) I wondor if he looka likj his photograph, 
 Isn't it sp Ion did, Oairjlla. 
 
 Camilla 
 
 HaiTjlct and Romeo in our very Hr awing- rooir! 
 
 Kitty 
 
 A r^al live actor! 
 
 (The ladies are watching for his ap* 
 peararjj ; ja^erly T.. Enter "'r. Booth 
 Tr*cG. Forrest CD. from R, ife stops 
 in door\vay a second. He is a dap -" 
 per little man v/jth close-cropped, 
 red wig: neatly and stylishly 
 drassod, in sacque coat ^c. His 
 manner quick, proupt and businoss- • 
 like. The ladies start, smkin?? 
 back in astonistoent as he appears 
 in doov'ffay. He Uioves briskly down 
 to Harry >/ho ipoets him up R. 0. and 
 shakos h andfc> with sharp quick jnove- 
 
 *' 'I " I ' I T i r I ' m ill > M l 
 
 ment . ) 
 
 Is th^t Romeo ? 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Hamlet! 
 
 Camilla 
 
 Kitty 
 li on g , dark, f 1 ov/i n g 1 oc k s I 
 
 Camilla 
 
 Rich brov^/n curls fallinj-. over his sh^julders. 
 
 }?a r ry 
 Ladies, allov/ mo: >/r. Booth Vc C. Forrest, tho eiuinant trage- 
 dian. The Reverend Ernest Duckworth. 
 
 f Formal bows and curtesies from the 
 
 ladaos and Ernest) 
 
7<'q r r e s t 
 Ladies; fNoddinR briijkly. IntrocJuco speech about church 
 aiid stage) ¥r. Duckworth, what's the play ? fRoceivea book 
 fraL Harry) Ah — "Paun-of- the-Glen"-- played old Indian 
 Ohief in that ir.yseir fifteen years a.go, '^ho* s the Faun ? 
 
 Kitty 
 1 — I*ni the ?'auri, i^iv» 
 
 Porrest 
 And you' re the l^avchioness ? The Earl ? 
 
 Ernest 
 I'm tho Earl. 
 
 Forrest 
 You're the young Indian Prince — and the old chief ? 
 
 Harry 
 He hasn't arrived yet. 
 
 Forrest 
 I'll give you his cues. We'll get tu bu^^mesis at .nco. f%ra- 
 in-m-::.-!.:- i^ Reading and turninp; panes rapidly) -ffi-n;-Ri~ scene — 
 forest — Indian -vigwam — rocks right and loft — set tree 
 right centre -- Hvoves to and fro setting pieces of furniture 
 fur scenery ^-g) The table will be the rock. That'll be a set 
 tree ( rihair ) There' s another tree. 
 
 (Placing piano stool. .So on with 
 ^ different articles and pieces of 
 
 fuHiiture as ir.ay be found Sffoctiyoj 
 ThJ pianj //ill be the v/igwarij. Old indian chief discovered — 
 in-m-ra-rL- long speech — Paun ready — (Kitty starts ) h.-m-r:-:..- 
 "waters" 
 
 Kitty 
 H-w ? 
 
 Others in succession 
 Eh'!* what ? Ho,'/ ? 
 
 Forrest 
 Paun! — "of waters" 
 
 Kitty . 
 Eh? 
 
That. *t your cuq, "Father of water;:.-'' ( Aside) ^hQ wants rr.o to 
 read her tha whole play for a cue, 
 
 Camilla 
 ^ Ap ct r t ) 'Vhat in a cue, Kitty ? 
 
 Kitty 
 ( Apart ) It's another of those letters 
 
 Forrest 
 Hovvever, I dv^re say you undoratand t-vj fir^t po.rt perfect ly. 
 It'll be quite unnesessary to go through these simpler scenes. 
 We'll coiiie at once to — (Tarnin/' P:i,'v3^)) Ah, here 3 t is -- 
 Indian "^ar- whoop — livrn-in-Ci- all on stage — the two pairs 
 of lovers are standing together right and left. Allow lEe, 
 
 (He leads Oamjlla and Ernest R. and 
 places '^arry and !'itty Tf. ) 
 Now, ladies and gentleir*en, you vv'ill please take up the cue 
 froLD — ah — ho re it is -~ v/ar.vhoop — f Gives a rolling 
 whoop) *^on of the Voon ai:id tho I'av/k«» 
 
 1 beg your pi.rdoD, 
 
 Exciise mo -— but — 
 
 We — 
 
 Really , vve — 
 
 Kitty 
 Erenst 
 Harry 
 Clai i 1 la 
 
 K i t ty 
 'Ve four lovc;rs aren't fixod right. 
 
 Forrest 
 
 Eh? Oh — I beg your pardon, 
 
 (The 1 1>'0 gentlerion cross R. and L, ) 
 to "heir proper ladtes) 
 Now, ladiOLj and gentlei^en — "T.'oon and the Ha.vkl " — business! 
 
 Ernoat and harry 
 Business ? 
 
Duub-show. ^e specially devoted to your r'3spective ladies, 
 
 }^arrY and Ernest. 
 Oh! 
 
 Kitty 
 They' i'^ both <j,oo'] business nvjn, 
 
 (Thu t .YQ euu:;l-js begin convor^ing 
 iT and L. ./ith p.ro-t 'i ^v-jtBetn.T 
 
 ? or r'jst 
 (Intent on bo^k C. ) m^rn-ro-ni-- ( Turn in,; pathos ) Another lonn 
 
 speecL; — old Chief — durin^; lattor part of it, the 3arl 
 jr,ovos up left. file loQk;b up from book to Ernoat. ) '^he 
 Earl iiioves up loft, 
 
 fErn-jst and Kitty contifrje d'J-jply 
 absorbed in oac!i otlier, quite ubliy -* 
 ious of Porr^H t and his dir jctiops, 
 ''ori-QSt ii-ov'js down to near Ernoot, 
 spaakinL^ to hir, back. ) 
 I beg your pardv<n — r;-ay 1 trouble you ? The Karl moves up 
 left. 
 
 Em est 
 
 (To Kitty ) I love > ou more and more every day, Kitty. 
 
 porrest 
 Perir.it no. 
 
 fPlacmr his hand on the shoi:ldor of 
 
 R rn '-i .s t ^ ..ho starts r oun -i ■■ i t h ax. 
 
 The Earl moyos up left. 
 
 Ernest 
 
 The — Ih^ — ::arl V Oh — aer^^. i.lj. 
 
 f>!e 1 -i led UP a fe// steyjs L bv -^or- 
 rost and loTt thorer) 
 
 Fur root 
 fTur i.in} "l. and reading fi-oii- b^ok) "The Indian Prino,- 
 walks up stage, stops ri^jht oeutrc and turn,, fr nt" '''ay T 
 trouble you, "r. Op dyke ? 
 
 fOpdyko is deep in flirtation .vith 
 Daii.ill'-^ an'l pa>s no ctt^ntion what- 
 
ever. Forrest rooves to near hirr. 
 apeak iriB to his back) 
 The Prince walks up stago. 
 
 Harry 
 (To Cr.aailla) Upon ir-y word, I was n^'ver lEOre in earnest in 
 my lifel You really _do love mo ? 
 
 Porrest 
 AllOiA' rr.G. 
 
 (Placing his hand on I'^wij's ahoul- 
 dar. ITo turn^ >sharulv with an "Eh") 
 Tho Prinoo v/alks up stage 
 
 -.arr/ 
 
 The Pc — Prince ? Oh — certainly. 
 
 K o r r o s t 
 ( G) No-', ladies and gentl^iirGn, v/hilo the charactar.s are in 
 this position — 
 
 (Looking at book? Ernest returns 
 to Kitty. Porost reads.) 
 The ol I Indian Ohie-f ir.oving across to the Earl — 
 
 (Voves L. to v/here Ernost should bo: 
 sees iiin. d own v'i t h K i 1 1 v f r ^ n t . 
 Ho liioves do'tvn to then:, ) 
 You will par-.fon une — but — 
 
 (Ernest i^^nora^ hji:. , in deep att^^n~ 
 tion to Kitty) 
 You k/ill par'ion me, I say — but vyh3 le the young Prince is up 
 right centre and the l\!arohioness down ri^ht — it is positive- 
 ly necessary fur the offoct of this scene, that — 
 
 (Glancing aroiujci, as he speaks, sees 
 Harry down <vith Gairilla arain R. 
 He crosses to them) 
 You will pardoij iho — but — 
 
 (Harry continues absorb'3d in hi--; de- 
 
 You will pard'vn no — but the. yuung Prince — 1 say, the young 
 lU'iaan Prince — (,:u attontion« ^le cro>^'SOo to the others) 
 The Earl, as 1 before reiijarked, L.u.^t positively be — 1 say, 
 
 tlie Earl — must — be ( M^ attention. ]'o re-cross-os R. ) 
 
 The young Prince — (Cro-.ses and x-e-crosses in v^n atteiiipts 
 to p:Qt their att'jntion) the Earl — the Prince — the — the 
 ( then , stopping C ) Ladies and gontloriien, it io absolutoly 
 iroposGible for ii;e to proceed with this rehearsal, unless. -- 
 I say — it is — it is — i say, ladies and gentloiiien, it 
 is — 1 — it ----I say — it — it is — 
 
f Glances frorr. one couple to the othjr 
 turns up C. Look::^ back. The two 
 cou-los f^Q on chatting virrorousiy 
 without the sli»^htest apparent kno.Yl 
 edge or hi.s presence. Vc takes a 
 chair and thujr. ps i t on the stane" "^' 
 f 1 Our to attract t hei r a t to ri'.i w n . 
 It has no effect. He finally dro^s 
 
 upon piano stool: strik es a hoavy 
 chord and runs over the keys. Th:n 
 
 looks aroun I at then:. No effect. 
 He breaks into g loud accui-ipaninignt 
 of the followin.: son^ , and bej^jns 
 sjnninp; it. Tne orchestra takes 
 i^p the accoL rjc^nln.ent: Furr est mov..;^ 
 down after c; T-jw bars and sinj, s the 
 entire sonn« front . 
 
 Sonj-j of thu Stage Manc.i^or." '''or rest. 
 
 (Forrest speaks as below, betv/een 
 
 the St an a a and the r'^'frajn: an<^ 
 n'oyos T? .>nd L darinr: the interval 
 niusic . tryinp to net the attention 
 or the others in duoaJb show. 
 
 Thro 
 
 UHhout the 
 
 en t 
 
 iro 
 
 sonp^ 
 
 the 
 
 tv^o 
 
 coup 
 
 1 e s r on: ai n 
 
 ent 
 
 ire 
 
 ly absorbs 
 
 id in 
 
 each 
 
 other, no 
 
 t nc 
 
 >ticing him in 
 
 ^n y 
 
 v/ay 
 
 whatever, j 
 
 nor 
 
 int 
 
 errupting 
 
 thoir 
 
 dumb 
 
 show flirtation 
 
 for a 
 
 ii^oinont. 
 
 T h ■) 1 QU d era n cl j ol 1 1 .) r t he n: u s j c 
 of the sonji, the bettor) 
 
 ^ong of the stage Manager. 
 
 Original 
 
 by 
 
 Henry 0, Leigh. 
 
 Sharp, sharp, is th-' .--^rd; luc^k i-aive and jq oi.oady, 
 
 Do just as 1 bid youj 'i;y n:erry icen all. 
 Hurry up, and reiLcn.bor we've soun to bo ready 
 
 So pray be alert at your manager's c,ai. 
 For, dov;n to the footlights and np tu sky-borders 
 
 All ov.'r the stage T.*rn buoaing our show, 
 It is T who^oirmand it, it is 1 v/ho gives orders, 
 
 And you that a bey then- eibv^ve and belo\\-. 
 
f Speaks, us if trying, to not their attention. R. c^. L. ) As 
 I was roir.arkinn, liidies and gentleiren — the Indian Prince 
 thG Earl — ni. ho — T — ( ^inrs rofram. ) 
 
 It is I v/ho cornijiand it, It is T v/ho ai 7.^:^; ordorb, 
 And you that obey their., above and belo.v, 
 
 flnt'jrvc-l iiiusic. l^orrest rnoves H, a 
 L« trying; tu S6c;nre their attontion 
 in diHLb show.) 
 
 IT 
 
 Our scenes, I imagine, could scarcely be bettered, 
 
 So neat is the touch, and so lively the tone. 
 The artist by llature declinet; to be Tettered, 
 
 But puts on the tints in a style of his own. 
 Suppose that a cloud — by an accident merely — 
 
 Should hook, feovv and then — to the branch of a tree 
 Tho folks in the front will perceive pre i; by .jlearly 
 
 the .fainter* 3 to blano — so it*s nothing to me . 
 
 (Speaks R, and J., as before) It is absolutely impossible 
 for liie yo proceed .vith this rehearsal, ladies and gentlemen, 
 unless — T — 1 -- I assure you — the — ( Sjncs) 
 
 The folks in tho fr-.^nt v/ill perceive pretty clearly 
 
 Tne painter's to blame — so it*s nothint? to iv.e, 
 
 (Interval i*iuc:.ji.;> :;ju.-.;in'^'s>j a.'j uj-'.-vo) 
 
 ITT 
 
 Our music 1-^ all very c ate hint: and clever! 
 
 The brightest of player^,., the Xij_,htosL u i' air^ 
 Just listen for once, and you'll wish theiri forever 
 
 To soften y^ur t>orr'>>v/s and ban is 11 your cares. 
 The piecolo, trumpet and violincello, 
 
 Are all of thai, ready their strength to combine, 
 You cannot, I think, be a v*-:ry good follow, 
 
 Unless you adi;,it that our iiiusic is fine, 
 
 ( Speaks) Have 1 succeeded in securing your attention — yet — 
 ladici: and f^entlon;en ? ( Sin^js, ) 
 
 You cannot, I think, be a very ^ood fellow, 
 
 Unless you ad^it that cur music i^ fine. 
 
(Interval rousic. Rusincsj) 
 
 I'LL fiiVG thai, a touch of tho strictly Is^ji tirnate. 
 
 r Ho turns up 0. and comos dovm sud- 
 donly. Richar^'i Tliiri biT^rinc3:i3) 
 
 "A horsel a horsel my kingdom for a horsol ha-ha! 
 
 fVory loudly, crouchin^j doz/n //ith 
 cane rattlin^j on stago as a sword. 
 g. front;' The otb/^gs starfe around 
 and stare at hiin , in attjtudtss. 
 Forrest rises v/ith his hands in 
 his pockots and Koes un quietly) 
 
 We v/ill proceed with the rt^jhocirsal, 
 
 Harry 
 
 Rehearsal ? Oh — yos, I forgot that. X ^'^•'^ ^'^ ^Q here, 
 
 fGoinf.' to position ur- r, ) 
 
 Ex-nest 
 
 The rehearsal quite slipped iLy mind, 2.^''^^ "^ ^^^ ^P hero 
 
 lUp L. ) 
 
 Porrest 
 (Taking- book fron. poetot ) The quintette at the end — 
 
 Kitty 
 Oh — yesi we've all practised that — except the Earl. 
 
 Ernest 
 I'll pick up the air as you i^o along, f Lookinr at bopk ) 
 
 (Forrest str kes key-note on piano . 
 Harry bo[^ins, Orchestia ) 
 
 Harry 
 
 ( ^in}\in--: ) If my vvays have been ratiier erratic, 
 
 I'll soon make ain-ends for tho past. 
 Oh — by the v/ay — f ■'^udrjerily stoppinp^. Orchostr^ also stops 
 I forgot the letter. 
 
 !^orro^t 
 We ;_v^n'jrally cut i:nat , 
 
 Harry . 
 Oh — I've got it all written out. fTakinL^ letter fron- pock- 
 et ) in a good bold hand, so that T.'rs, v/estlake can r«ad it, 
 (HandinL' her the letter) The I'archionoss roads it just be- 
 fore the quintette. 
 
Caniil la 
 i Readinr; ) "My dear Harry** — 
 
 (Uarrj and Kitty start) 
 
 Harry 
 Oh, that* 3 not the ri^^ht lottor. 
 
 "Ky dear Harry — " 
 That isn* t tho one I 
 "Vy dear Harry — " 
 That's the y/ruiir l:^ttor! 
 
 Oarrilla 
 
 Harry 
 
 Camilla 
 
 l^rry 
 
 Ernest 
 Tho v/r.>nji letter ? 
 
 Camilla 
 "I'y dear Harry — The slippers are all ready — » 
 
 Kitty 
 ( Start inr. ) "lippers! It's the one I_ wrote him ye-torday, 
 
 Carrdlla 
 
 "The slipporb are all ready j^n^. I hope they'll fit. Come 
 around this evening. Ernest will not be here to-night. He 
 coL'.os nearly every evening, and we may not [lave another chance 
 to be alone, so that you can try the nev^ slippers on. Kitty 
 Plurr.pet." 
 
 Kitty 
 
 /To ^arry) Oh — you stupid! 
 
 TIarry 
 1 gave it to her by mistake. 
 
 f J'oveL-: up protesting, with her. Ca- 
 ir.il la and Ernest dQv;n front, Ri ^- L. 
 indignant . ) 
 
 Ernest 
 ( "Severely ) A_very great mistake I 
 
GaZLil la 
 Undoubtedly a mistake. 
 
 P^rrest 
 LStrikinR keynote on piano) Ladies and gentlemen, the quin- 
 tette. 
 
 Finale of Act. 
 
 (The orchesta strikes np and contin- 
 
 ues through a 
 
 11 
 
 that folio. VS. 
 
 The 
 
 scene 
 
 is an effort to rehears 
 
 9 the 
 
 final 
 
 quintette 
 
 of act 3rd, inter- 
 
 rup ted 
 
 by the 
 
 lovers* quarrel 
 
 , whi ch 
 
 has su 
 
 ddenly 
 
 Sprung up. For 
 
 full 
 
 words 
 
 see fii 
 
 lale of Act 3rd. 
 
 Thft 
 
 spoken 
 
 words 
 
 of 
 
 this Scene must ex- 
 
 ac tly 
 
 fill up 
 
 ti- 
 
 le tiEue of the 
 
 omi t- 
 
 ted Words of 
 
 the 
 
 ; quintette; 1 
 
 ihe 
 
 orche stra keeping on as ifthe 
 singing were uninterrupted; and 
 the next singer, in each case, join- 
 ing in at the proper note . 
 Drop the music to pp. during the 
 spoken words, and retard a trifle.) 
 
 Harry 
 
 (Singing ) If my ways have been rather arratic 
 
 1*11 soon make amends for the past, 
 
 C amilla 
 To fill time for /And he just proposed to me. I stan* d 
 next two lines \let him know I care for it. 
 
 (Singing ) I've appeared a bit flippant, it rriay be, 
 
 But I shan't when I'm settled for life. 
 
 Ernest . 
 
 {Kitty shall see that I'm indifferent. 
 Forrest 
 The quintette refrain, if you please. 
 
 Quintette. 
 This arrangement is equal to chess-playing quite, 
 
 Where t:.e whites take the bl:: ^■'" and the blacks take 
 
 the white. 
 
C ami 1 1 a 
 ^Oh — I shall choko! 
 
 Ernes t 
 I — I — I shall certainly swearl 
 
 To fill 3rd and 
 
 4th lines of refrain;The Earl. 
 
 Forrest 
 
 ■"i 
 
 Ernest 
 , Where the devil — fTurnin;^ paper) 
 
 Kitty 
 >hl ( SerearLing) 
 
 Ernest 
 (Singing from book) 
 
 Here's an end of my bachelor troubles, 
 I*ve captured a jewel, 'tis plain. 
 
 Ernest 
 
 A jewel! 
 
 To fill next two 
 lines. 
 
 Camilla 
 
 \ My bosom f riendl 
 
 Kitty 
 ^You donkey I (To Harry) 
 
 Camil la 
 ( Sin p. in g) The follies you mention, I'm sure, dear, 
 Were merely intended in sport. 
 
 Harry 
 ^ (To K itty) Ho.v can we explain ? 
 
 We can* t. 
 
 To fill next two 
 1 i ne s . 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Ernest 
 
 I* 11 not be the Earl! 
 
 Camilla 
 
 I'll give up the play! 
 
 Quartette 
 This arrangement is equal to chess playing quite, 
 rhere the whites take the blacks and the blacks take the white 
 
.Xt63 
 
 Ibneiil moaod yM 
 
 1 ,-.i: 
 
 •ad cfc . 
 
Quartette 
 This arranj^^oiiitJDt is dqiial to G*hec;s-pldyiri{^ qujte, 
 'v^on the tfM-.t!»s take +1^-? blaoks and the blacks take tha whit 
 
 Ernest 
 
 Orchestra pauses. 
 
 1 darand an explanation, sir. f To Tfar^y 1 
 
 Gair.il la 
 
 I (To Kitty ) You 'iorrid thing! 
 
 ritill a rt'oir.an and sister — a iircn -dnd a brother — 
 V/hatoVcr bo t ho station — is each to eaoh other. 
 
 Quarrol Tableau, 
 
 n r t a 1 n. 
 
Note: ^4- Tho quintet to is sun^j in its entirety 
 and CO r root I J at tho end cf the last act; and 
 the abovo is intende^-J f^r a spooial of foot en- 
 tirely difforont froir. its final rendorang, bat 
 -ith the saiTe njusical air runnin;^ through it. 
 As to tho spoken v/ords of tiie intervouing quai^ 
 rel, hor.?, it, is impossible, of oouri^o, to in- 
 sert thoir. accurately without the chosen music. 
 If the music can bo sent to London the author 
 will arrange them as nearly as p•os^Jible; 
 though, in any case, they iLUSt bo finally ar- 
 ranged at rehearsal. It will be noted that 
 in the next act, also, there is another at- 
 tempt to rehearse this quintette, though with 
 a mere touch of the music and under different 
 cirGUEi.Gtances. it aeeii.s wqII to bind the va- 
 rious acts together musically, by some suoh 
 slender Oc-rd as this recurrence of the sume 
 air in one .va> or another i>n each act and Ltt 
 the end, Th<3 air si.ould be original, if pos- 
 sible, taking, and ;vi th a dashin;; niovement. 
 
THE AMATEUR BENEFIT, 
 
 .000 
 
 An Entertainment 
 
 m 
 
 Three Acts, 
 by 
 
 y 
 
 Bronson Howard. 
 
 .000 
 
 Act Second. 
 
Act T T. 
 
 000 
 
 S c e i: 3 1 — 
 
 C^hQ staH 9 of thQ Theatre as at a 
 niorrirH rehearsal. 'Packs of sceng s. 
 '''lats and yyinj^s asko^y. '^art of a 
 balcony stardir^ against y/irn L. 
 Another part of same af^ainst v/irg n . 
 A fcreen bank .':. C. ^pp^ dan/Uin.^ over 
 it from flies. A broken '-apital or 
 a S3t rock, R. C. a set- v/indow" 
 a[iainst-..-.7infJ up h, ■\ statue or ped- 
 ostal. R. [jeaninr^ against or near 
 \yin^T. All these pieces i*or practi- 
 -jal use as r,er busineas. The !)ack 
 wall of the stano as it really is; 
 or covered in ')y tv/o flats of radical- 
 ly different scenes. 
 
 At riso of curtain^ 
 Music. ) 
 
 ^ n H . 
 
 "The "'ar of the '^unir^' ^iends." 
 '■'orref^t . 
 
 f 'U3t':;before the curtain x-iges the 
 
 ijusicxans bepin tuning: their intru •- 
 monts vinor'.'usly , sei^arat ely ^ ir ro- 
 tation; then on"? joins the other 
 until t;-ey are all tunir^^ at once. 
 The sounds harn-.oni:-;e for the iiost 
 part, but a few coi.u.ical discords. 
 The l3 dor novf .joins the tuning v^ith 
 violin, and the air of t!-ie openirf^ 
 son[i gradually j]iri-Hes froi.i the Musi- 
 cal cha os. "^he sound of c>,.rpent er* s ' 
 harirners in tine v/ith th:? orch--?strQ 
 heard behind curtain. ^^^3 curt..ir 
 rises discoverini ^orr^iot , .rho sink's. 
 A carpenter or his kne^s haJiiierin*^ 
 
3 
 
 or a pi3C9 of scongry. ^ourd of 
 arothQr* carpenter* 3 haninvjr v/ithoi..it. 
 Tr t h.9 Rpfrair of tho followin^j song 
 each instrumort niv^s a sharp tur.ir^ 
 sound as it is rainod, th? '^ir[j3r imi- 
 tating the hiotior of playing it. Tr 
 the interval r\us±o after each refrain 
 one of the instr umer ts — viol in ^ flnte 
 "c. — sustains the laelody, .rhile 
 the oth?r irstruiMnts coi'aq in with 
 ludicrous tuning sounds; but alwdys 
 i n har rao n y , ex c e ijt n ow a r d t her: a 
 comic discord. A final burst of ab- 
 surd discord from all to v/-ind up the 
 gong yyith. '''or rest fills the tinae 
 of the interval music by moving about 
 looking, at scenery and giving direc- 
 tions. ) 
 
The '''ar of the Turing '^ierds. 
 ^^rigiral ) 
 T. 
 
(To ■■far pent er, ) That* 11 do for I'^^jt bale cry. ^V 11 not 
 rsod this bark to-ni^i'ht, TqH' om to hcj.rd it up. 
 
 ( Our p or t or a 1 1 at.; l"i '3 s t he har. ginij r o p 'j 
 
 to 5^rogr bank, u, C. ard £sOQS out. 
 
 '''orro3t« iiiQanti; 3« calls loudly U!) to 
 
 tjallery. ) 
 Oh — "ro-.7n! — put t ho palaco on tho aasol c.r:d touch it up ..ith 
 gold. "'3 in-st use the back of tho orison — score for a 
 tgardor. unock tho kitchor into u tjonso«»ratory ard sling ^ 
 soa yioY/- on tho fjack of tho Gathedro,!. ( w oMes d ov/n 1 o ok i nt 
 at his v;atch. ) Tor o'clock — tinio thosoaniatours wore hore. 
 You'ro music's c^ll ri^^ht, T suppose. <'Vo loader, over tho 
 foot li;;hts. ) ' lu 1 san c o , t h -^s o an;a t our s ! A r j .^y officer, war lu 
 porsor.al friond; — actors and array officers alv/ays cJ^a warm, 
 personal frionds. Think t hoy can act — amatours alv;ays do. 
 
 ( 
 
 ■ 'a 
 
 !' !*■'■ 
 
 en 
 
 ^er 
 
 .3 
 
 su 
 
 ddonly, "j. 
 
 Toad first 
 
 f 
 
 ill* 
 
 Qdtih 
 
 Cx 
 
 pj. 
 
 30 O 
 
 of scenery, 
 
 standing 
 
 a 
 
 i'/^ 
 
 inst 
 
 Y,'" 
 
 ^-r^B 
 
 t 
 
 L, 
 
 ^»o gathors 
 
 hinsolf 
 
 u 
 
 £- 
 
 ard 
 
 sh. 
 
 ..kr5 
 
 3 
 
 hi; 
 
 tnds .,ith i^'orrestas 
 
 Good . .or ring! 
 
 if nothing Iv^d hapiJonod. ) 
 Harry . 
 
 "-''or rest. 
 Pardon uo, but that is part of iwy balcony scene for ^'-oruoo and 
 Juliet , to-ni^ht . 
 
 Harry . 
 Oh, is it? — sorry. Tf I'd knov;n that, I'd have coi.^j in 
 soiie other .vay. You can disporao with tho rope ladder; 
 cravvl throuijl^ ^nd climb up on tho other side. 'lore's tho 
 nusic for ''iss Plunipet' s song in Part ^irst. fto loader) 
 "Tn her brother's Dress" •' — 'uio' s f-^^ii^o to try :.t in costui.ie 
 this morninij. '^■'\q is m tho dressm^-r ooni no\Y. -y tho by 
 I^orrost T' m a little nervous about that recitation of I'dno in 
 Part 'irst. "^ill you be kind enouj^h to iiear lao throu^ih it 
 before the others coiiia V 
 
 'oi'y est . 
 ortainly, ijy boy, [-jO ahead. 
 
 f "^its in oliair P^. ) 
 
 HariX- 
 "^orrest, hi/ dear boy, T have a special favor to ask. The 
 
5 
 
 tiertlor;iun who wus to pl:.y tho old Trdiar Ohiof has had ar. acci- 
 d©rit — Bot ir^irriad day bafore yostorday — b^ can' t play tho 
 0' !i i f part any laoro. Yoji havo no p3rrornianc-3 on ''•^ednosduy 
 aft.-irr.oon — wiill you tak? the part, to oblige ? ^"e* 11 niako 
 it all r i'jht at your b ere fit or ''Yiday, iiy boy. You said 
 you played it Tifteer years ago -- and of course you krov; evey 
 \7 or d . 
 
 ^■^ or rest . 
 fifteen years! — of course! — every line of it, Ho^eyn*, 
 if it's all the same, TVll tijaoiianodate you ^yitn the ycurg In- 
 dian Prince. That* s shorter by half. 
 
 -tarry . 
 
 ;iy ov;r part ^ 
 
 .^ or rest . 
 
 n^e* 11 talk it ovei- betv/aen ourselves, after rehearsal. 
 
 iiarry 
 
 Very v/ell, '"e' ll go on to day as usual^ 
 
 ^'xitty's head sud^^enly annears 
 thro i.:h a piece of si^qnery leaning 
 against vrir.g, R. '^he screams. Ifar- 
 ry holds the piece of scene ry to as- 
 gigt her, 'for he:.d dis rippec^rs. ) 
 
 ^orrast. 
 
 That's the other part of iiy Juliet's balcony. — (Tp leader. ! 
 Nice, cornijf or ti-ible people, these AmaJtj&urs! 
 
 (I^nter 'r<itty« R. ^he is in "^onK uls - 
 ter to her feet , b 1 1 1 on ed c..l 1 t he 
 v/-ay d own i A .j aun t y I ■ er by hat ; 
 cane; f^tre-^t glo>feg; cigar in nQ ^f- 
 schetum-holder; double eye-glass v;ith 
 string, '^e. ) 
 
 Kitty. 
 (As she enters. ) 'Veil* T neve;" did see su(5h a place. I' ye 
 been stumbling up-stairs and around corr'^rs, brick v/r.lls and 
 beg^s, and ropes, and paint, and .i.11 kinds of rubbish, T never 
 did get into such a place. Tov/ will t h i .^ do, Harry? 
 
 Harry . 
 Excellent! — Your "brother's Iress." 
 
 Mlusio. ) 
 
^ o r. ij. 
 **Tr. h3r '-roth::;!'' s i^ross." 
 Kitty , 
 
 nUisir^ss« i^c. b(3t'.733r stanzas ^ ag 
 bolo\Y- ) 
 
 Jn her 'brother's Press 
 Ori[^iral *=?ong 
 by 
 
 Tr sLicjh a h.urly suit as this -~ 
 
 ^■'ith h<.t ard cano ard ^il-t^r clad, 
 T think T dor' t look niuch a-mi.ss, 
 
 "l-f 3tyl3 , in .fa.it, is far from bad, 
 T lov3 to don th33'3 yo thful to^js; 
 
 Tr fast T fre^^ly i.r.st confess 
 T f39l thg prirc3 of jovial dogs, 
 
 ^'^h3r0* or T w^ar iwy brother* s dr 3S3» 
 
 ^iy broth 3r * s dr -■ 3 3 , my br 1 h 3r' ? d r "? 3 s , 
 "^hor* "^r T v/-9ar '■•:"■ '^r '-"t """-^r* <=? d^'is*:!. 
 
 fTrtirval mu3i(3 Kitty renairg p-ir- 
 fsctly ir.otionl33S, C* ^orr33t hu s h ■ 
 9S lat.isic. ) 
 
 >4ay T nmko a sugn^stior, Miss Plumpet ? T -ras a 8or;.if? sir per 
 
 mysalf, b3for3 T became a tragdian . Tt -rill add to tho 3f- 
 
 i9ot, if you dance, durirg the rausic, b3tv/93n the stanzas. 
 It* 3 th3 resijjlar "prof 33s i oral* v;ay. 
 
 XittT . 
 Oh, certainly. 
 
 fThe interval music repeated . 
 Kitty da nc es in very inircinL^ little 
 s t ops , '.yithout movirc from her place 
 
6 
 
 ^'"'orrost stares at h'3r fe^t. She re- 
 peats refrain. ) 
 
 TI 
 
 Papa is ^ood, manu-ia is kind, 
 
 ^^ut ko'^ps us very strict at home; 
 Ard that' s the r-3asov we' re inclined 
 
 •^ •:r,;«t irnes upon the sly to roam, 
 A harmless little joke T love. 
 
 And f 3el a bliss T cu,n* t express — 
 A joy all earthly joys abo^/e, 
 
 ''^^er. T cc^n v/ear my brof^^er's dr?<3S» 
 
 My brother's dress, my brother's dress, 
 T*^h9r T can vr^ox riy brother' s dress, 
 
 (Interval rinsic. ^he ^anees in the 
 same mincing ri^inner. )' " 
 
 ^orrsst . 
 ^ardor i-i cj-.:^uir. , ^'iss Pluiapet. fHushinf{ iiusic. ) Allov^ me. 
 The professional manner is more inithis vmy , you \yill find the 
 effect much better — a certain freedO} .i of r.iotion, so to speak 
 
 ^Tnterval of Lv.isic a[,^ain. "^orre st 
 dances vigorously, L^ throwing his 
 leas v-iry hi^.'h. ) 
 
 Certainly! — that vmy! 
 
 ^arr-. 
 
 ( Also dance? in tj^te same luarrer, H, 
 Kitty stands 0. '/ithout dancing, star 
 in,^ fro m one to the other.) 
 
 Kitty. 
 T'fell, if you think Miss Katoarine Plumpet is going to d^.nce 
 in that stylo, in public, for the benefit of the Church Mis- 
 sionary 5;ociety, you' re very much mistaken. 
 
 (Rspeats Refrain. 4- 
 
Ill 
 
 This Ulster c^ves n-e hu^e dolit^ht: 
 
 This protty jane l gaily sv;ing. 
 Vy hat 1 brush with all my mi^jht: 
 
 Ahd think ny cullar';:^ (Uite the? thing. 
 Oh, had 1 bo»3ii by oh.aiiC o a boy, 
 
 Ivy lucky titars l*d ever blytJti, 
 To irake my lifo a round of joy 
 
 I might have kopt iry brother* a droas. 
 
 T.'y brother* a dress, my brother* s drejs^ 
 1 might have Kept i'y brother's dtestu 
 
 M'.itty 
 
 daucos 
 
 vory daintily an 
 
 d ird ne- 
 
 inf^ly , 
 
 "J, . as 
 
 before, ''arry 
 
 ar, d 
 
 Porrest 
 
 dance 
 
 viHonously ar-d w 
 
 ith 
 
 hi^/n ki 
 
 f. V c- r? 
 
 ^: .;L. he rep 
 
 jats 
 
 refrain, ) 
 
 'TV 
 ^y only a.ii:. on earth woiUd be 1 
 
 to captivate the [gentle sex. 
 Vy .vinnirg v.'ays , 1 clearly see, 
 
 Their ^as and Vas ar.d Aunts would v -x. 
 But T*rn a c^^^^ — ^ tender dove — 
 
 And so I seo v/ith deep distress, 
 My fate n^ust be to try and love 
 
 ■-"-oine swain thatr^/earri a brci^-hor' s dress. 
 
 A brother's dress, a brother* s dre^^^s , 
 ,<^orr.e sYmin that '.years a brotiier*s dress. 
 
 M'ittY throws off the ulster, disoov- 
 orinf^ close] y-fittin a d .jaunty 
 ^irl* s v/alkin{j dres, 
 
 her '^erbv hat 
 
 iri[;: ^ith it as 
 
 V^ 
 
 cos tuBie. 
 
 r.rt of a feminirtg 
 
 .:.d 
 
 nanco'bythe three in 
 
 au<l)cat and T,. KJ'.ty . il l with dgirr- 
 ty steps; Iiarry and -j 'orrost as be- 
 fore, ■ '". .TT; the rr.usic 
 
 jUst before ti. e line 
 
 — Kitty may 
 
 or she ...ay 
 
 "■^ut f*m a HJ-^'J- „ 
 
 the chanC^ at that point, _^ 
 
 inake it .jUot bo for 3 t-he refrain. If 
 
 nQcossary , 
 
 ih-^ 
 
 ^..^ ^ 
 
 iiiu si c a 1 1 y I to rna k o 
 
 XL.. ........... let ]:itty 
 
 chan^je after the refrain, 
 
 do i'.- ./h.il 3 tie .qoitloi. on ^ anco a 
 previously 
 
 terva l irusic: 
 
 a t R» aud h, to t;-e i.n- 
 h )n ;i ojn thoi^ in a 
 
9 
 
 danco. in and out , to a roD otiti on o f 
 t i . o- ii u ii^ic, ^^ \\ e repeats re f rain . ) 
 
 (LookiiiH at hi., v/atch.l It's tirr.e th-j ^;thors ner'i hero, 
 fGoi:i[( R> turng hizcl: » ) ''> tji:j //ay, huve you s^^eii Vrs, '"est- 
 lako this ii.o ruing '^ 
 
 Pputinrr. ) '''o , 1 haven't, Yoij, I did, v;e p^ssod each 
 oth'jr un t;,e st,rcot. .She barely cjoi.; descended to bov/ to i: e, 
 
 ^'arry, 
 Ernest wouldn' t do us liiuch as that to rr.e, i e looked across 
 the street, 
 
 fThoy converse ^. ?. ) 
 
 Forre .t . 
 f At bcicK looking up L, ) I 3ay , Brownl — this window for 
 Don Toasar de ^azan naeds a. touch of r.aint. Look out for 
 that sl-y to-night, it oau^-ht on the cottage yesterday. Is 
 the noon all r3;;:ht, no.v ? T' 11 come up ther*?. 
 
 ( IDxit T,. U. E« ) 
 
 )In convjrsaticn vd th harry down P....) Ernest didn't c^i-o 
 for u.Q this i-or:-i.iG, an-i 1 don'" car(2 whether 1 over s^e hi'-'^ 
 again or n t — after A'hat he said Alien he ^iaine to s .30 iro la:::t 
 ni^,ht. I v/as t^oing to tell hin; all about that letter — and 
 Hake up with him — and lot hin' kiss rne. '^at ho .vas so cross 
 and he said such n;ean things — 1 wouldn't tell a single word. 
 
 I'arry , 
 1 called u on Vrs, "''ostlake, last evening, to explain r.atters. 
 But she v/as so exceedin{;,ay sarcastic and so very cold, if she 
 wishes it that v/ay , of course she ^s quite at liberty to have 
 it so — quitel I didn't atterpt to explain. 
 
 Kitty. 
 T--1 don't luve ^'rnest — a — ^k'fcnjnr ba-;k her tOL--.rs.i 
 — a bit, any 11. ore. The ideal — there 7 — 1 — "l .vas only 
 jraking hin, a ru-iir of slippers to surprise hin on his birth- 
 day, to-riiorrow, arid his boos fit your feet -- and T only 
 • anted to try * .iin on ~- and he's Taking a!i 1 thiii fiiss about 
 that letter, 1 wont explain a "hingi Me :nay get the rest 
 of t: e gj rls in the >arish to enbroider h] i> slii-ers aft.:-r 
 this — just as all unn":arried clergyn'on do, Mlalf sobbing. 
 T — 1 woulin' "" go on ,/i th the play at all, only we've sold 
 
so i::ury tickets — urd vz-e' ve ;iot t h.3 rior^jy — ard — and the 
 liotls tjunnibals do need it so iii'Kjh! f'Viping her eyes.) 
 
 Neither would J, (.Qoir.n to hor consolirHl/. ) Only the most 
 pressing necessity, or t '^a part of the cannibals in the Pacif- 
 ic Ocean leads i-^e to go on \yith the rehiarsals. " othmg but 
 a stern sense of duty — f Placing his arm aj o it her w^ist.V 
 
 -Tarry. U^-^; 
 (Resting her hand on his shoulder,) A sense of duty, 
 
 !Tarry . 
 ^'•^ith us military men, duty is the first consideration. 
 
 ^^akin?^ one of "ior hands tender 1:; 
 and pre'jsing hQV more closely.) 
 
 Kitty. 
 And T am a Sunday School teacher, you know. fhalf droppin g 
 ner head on his shoulder. ) 
 
 Harry. 
 Nothing but a sense of duty could impel me to v/-aste ny time — 
 (Tenderly ) and sacrifice my pleasure in this manner. 
 
 riCitty looks up suddenl./; then at 
 his arm about her waist.) 
 i would say — T — that is — T me^n — speakir^j of the lit- 
 tle cannibals — 
 
 Kitty 
 
 They do need our assistance so much. 
 
 )Tarry. 
 We' 11 go on .rith the good work — 
 
 (Pressing h ^r hand more tenderly 
 still. ) 
 
 Kitty. 
 '^oweyer disagreeable it may be to both oT us- 
 
 ' Tarry. 
 Tn spite of our aYirsicr to the task; v/e will go on. I'o yoi 
 r;3Diamber, Kitty — (^'^alking down Pv. ^'^ith her. ) — ^''hen you 
 and T v/31-3 children together. 
 
 Kitty. 
 Oh, yes, l^Q.vrf — before you went to ^'^est point. 
 
'Tarry, 
 W-i used to TTciiy. ir the fi^l^s to^ethar 
 
 .' i 
 
 AiLorr t.ha wil'is flrr-rs. 
 
 And we ::ic>: d ittle carrioals — ^fac3 tc s^gdi'^ree, ) T isei-j 
 blac'iberr ies — ';**" t'3 bush-s. 
 
 ( Irnest e :-:ea is h^^ad first breakin g 
 t-^irou'^h tn^ wirdo^, l^ejir;^ s^&irg ' 
 wirg, jp I». Te gathers Hiraelf jp 
 ^r i ccnes dcyr ?ith digrityrT 
 
 Captiiir Opd/ke. 
 Mr. Djcirjcrth, 
 
 grr 33t. 
 
 ^^ T> 
 
 ^"^~- ?oyg with gtiff fcrnal-tr s.-- 
 Its 'i. r. ^. ) 
 
 rT:est 
 
 Miss Pl'jrr3 3t. 
 
 KittY. 
 
 (Sc.rir^ fay-/.- h?r sho.lds . ■ Mr I>jc>:3t>rth, 
 
 Arrest • 
 A trifle chillr this morrir . 
 
 ^lezxr.^! ^ -side* ) I'll ser'! these slippers 
 car.ribw.ls. 
 
 the lit t la 
 
 Has Camilla — 
 
 ^Aside. ) OaiLilla! 
 
 rnest . 
 
 •xl'.tV 
 
 ffrrest 
 
 lias ^ii's, ^estloke tirrired et '* 
 
 V/> 
 
 c^ -ugh: Co xr 
 
 ^itlX, 
 
 j"^? IS 
 
T did . eet her this ixi -rning. "^he told nie there was six hu: 
 drod dollars' worth of tiokots sold already. 
 
 Kitty . 
 T wish the Mjssicnary "^^oci^ty ^.vould s^r.d y o . u out v/ith the r^o 
 5/. 
 
 M3 ^ — with t h3 liioray 
 
 They* d eat you! 
 
 Jllrrefet . 
 
 iHJL 
 
 fTu 
 
 rrirK up st 
 
 ci|-{e 
 
 pi 
 
 'orokod. 
 
 i^rt 
 
 Cil 
 
 Oai:illa L. ii. 
 
 f:. 
 
 
 ler di 
 
 ■ ^S5 , 
 
 as 
 
 
 Sh3 
 
 orters, bi 
 
 •ushes 
 
 dovrr 
 
 the 
 
 
 U9 
 
 and 
 
 p^d?;3tal, 
 
 wh ic h 
 
 fall 
 
 npor 
 
 the 
 
 Stci 
 
 ;^e, shattei 
 
 'Qd. 
 
 
 She comes 
 
 ir 
 
 wit 
 
 j^re 
 
 at dignity 
 
 not 
 
 paying 
 
 the 
 
 slii^ 
 
 ht- 
 
 9St 
 
 tit tortior 
 
 to the ace id or t 
 
 • 
 
 Jl- 
 
 sho'-^t of nvisic ir her hard. ) 
 
 OaiMilla. 
 
 Mr. Duckworth — fsmilirr;. ) you are here before me, after all 
 Miss Plumpet. (coldly ?drawin;j up. ) 
 
 (Jj, C. ) Mis. "^estlake. 
 
 Kitty. 
 
 ^""he..^ bo-^ with corstrair^d formality 
 
 C Camilla. 
 Captain Henry Opdyke has not arrived yet ? 
 
 Srnj33t . 
 Captain <'>pdyke left Miss T^lumet * s side a fev/- lainutes at^o- 
 
 r?^ovin;: to ^. C. ) 
 
 Gairdlla. 
 
 Indeed ? '^? is tryirjj on hi'j si i orders, perhaps. 
 
 (Aside. ) Oh, the spiteful thin^ ! 
 
 :^rn3st . 
 Which way do you go after th.3 rehiarsal, V.vs, ^''estlake '^ 
 (^'^ith attentiYo i;arnex'.) T sh^.ll be happy to accor.pany you. 
 
 (^lirta'sion in duir.b-show H, c. ) 
 
Kitty 
 T v/ish T w^re a carr.ibd, nr/j-lf! T» i :..t ♦ ^m both! f^'-.^ si fe 
 or the ^r<^9r bank L, C. ) ^:rr^st shar' t b-3 my lovar in the 
 
 plc^y. T' ■.^? he.' J thri3 before him — and T» n <^r^t Ltr other, 
 
 Camilla, 
 f To ^rr 3st. ) Tinr.iodiat oly uTtir ^ho rehearsal ther, '•^hil3 
 v/9 ar^ vA-iting» T v/ill try i:iy yoi<3 ; in t ho theatre! my ballad 
 ir Pa]'t f^irst. 
 
 ( ■ i V i n^ down ("/. "^ron t . ^ h -> ^lar d s h ar 
 
 i.ii.isio to 
 
 t, h 
 
 1 
 
 1^ 
 
 cul^-r 
 
 0"/ n 
 
 ! ^. 
 
 3 fcO 
 
 ^ — 
 
 lights. 
 
 .vit 
 
 h 
 
 a 
 
 smil 
 
 0. 
 
 Th3 
 
 load 
 
 3r 
 
 r'3<3 iivis 
 
 it 
 
 ■. 
 
 /It 
 
 '"N M 
 
 rod. 
 
 i.rd 
 
 S '3t S 
 
 it 
 
 ir. his nusic rack. ) 
 '!u3i(3 '^cillad. • 
 
 "Jullad. '^^l^ot?d. 
 
 (\:'^r the ballad. Cc^hdlla r.iQV3n uv, 
 to ??rr.i3t. ) 
 
 Kitt^. 
 ^ ^till on bc^nk. ) U» m! "^lirtinj tc^.. : ■: .: ^^b.xr, j ist to 
 tease i.^e! "'n-i^r 'darry comes back, v/e* 11 show ' 3m! 
 
 ^''rrost shov.'S Ounillo, out, uj '^. 
 
 with marlod attention.) 
 > ./ouldr* t b3 a cler^jyiaar' s .iTe, ar.ywuy, T don't li.ki cler- 
 gy m3r. T n3Y3i- did# T hat g, * em. 
 
 (Ro-3r.t9r Harry ^ ir character cos- 
 tumo, ."-. 'vitty contir-uos to sit nout- 
 ir^ bark. ) 
 
 '"*.9Cxti,tior. fS'-^lectod. ) 
 
 ^gxit Harry R. ) 
 
 If tha -•?r3r 3nd "!rr'3st D-.ic -cv/or th ev-^r says another ov/rd to i:<3 , 
 
 (■^Utho'it -j. ) '\^-dl ap! 
 
 'orr 3st . 
 
 C^'i3 ^roen bar: 
 
 : is suddenly hoisted 
 
 to th3 riio.s. 
 
 •Utty s<jv3;^nis as she 
 
 j-s tumijl-id off 
 
 on stage. FCrrest 
 
 rgns ir. up ->. 
 /•liTest . 
 
 y darlir.g Kitty! 
 
f^h? is on her foot quickly and draws 
 h^rsoir up. r^a.r!ill& r^'^-ert^rs up 
 
 liil 
 Thank you, '^^- Puckv/orth, T do not ria"^d /our a.ssistar.0f3 ir t]\,^. 
 
 f^h9 ':0333J h3r ''^^H.^^ ^rd v/;-.Vrr? to 
 
 H. G. \Yhvi--3 she sits, v/ith ar air , 
 uj^or: t'--^ broh^r ccipit.^I or 3 :^t rook. 
 Tt cr'.iaii:;:i b^r. eut. h ■.'3r weight j-rd 
 
 ,--. -5 .■; ,•; ,a 
 
 ' 1 ;T. u p r ti\'3 St.. ;^^^ 
 
 _V ■ . Uv X i ■ 
 
 .iitih anot'V^r s«reuia, di'rest iiolps 
 
 h^i* up. 
 
 t 
 
 r 
 you! 
 
 '\ i 1 1 ■/ . 
 If irdi-in ;:;-r.t ard half crying^ ) '>o a^./ay, you uBan thir.g 
 
 rstainpi-PH hei' fooo ard Roirn '-«« ••-I'V.e^ 
 Dpygs to Cauilla, Fv. a lit'le busi^ 
 r'333 tjet.Y'^^'jn -rr^st and Kitty across 
 stcve h3 flirti::g v/ith ^ 'arulla! aiha 
 poutir.^^. ) 
 
 Kit ty . 
 -1! Thr3y iiicty say v/'^at they please agai-st th^ canribals, but 
 T dor.' t blam^ 'em for 3atir.ii cl3rgyingr a bit. I'm gittirg 
 
 oyjiiiry.* My^3ir! 
 
 ^'?^-?rt-r '-un-y L. U. 'Z. ) 
 
 Urs, "sstlake. (Coldly, ) 
 
 'lL-.rr_2_; 
 
 ^(^Oldl -. ) '^c-utuin O^jdyke. Tf !'iss T^l^u-p-^t am v.-;nrr;';lf 
 are r-^aiy to go vvith tho rah^ai'sal -- 
 
 Harry 
 You ar.d ]\t. Iiuck.rorth ar.3 also raa'.Jy. ''e vrill procB^d. 
 fGro33irr; to Kitty. ) You are looking 73ry chariiiirg this 
 afternoon, 'M33 ;titty. 
 
 ixltt 
 
 f^part.) That's I'lB^t, k--?: it up! ''^\3 lov3 to luel 
 
Oh , y ou r lat I er er ! 
 
 ^lirtatior ir ri.uiiib-show- ) 
 
 ■uiri-y. 
 fAsidg. ) Confound hiia! he is puyir{i hor cornv.l imontc. f^o 
 Kitty. Aloud. ) T nover saw yoii loo'-.ir;i prettior, Miss Kit 
 ty. ^^ ,A.pb.rt to h'iv . ) ''ta ij it » you say s iethirij too. 
 
 Kitty. 
 f Apurt , ) T can* t, T* n too mad. 
 
 lLlT33t. 
 
 (To CariiLilla. ) May T call 'Lhis rr 'ir.ir.g ? 
 
 Harry. 
 Call! a pastoral visit T suppose. 
 
 (Kitty pinches him hard in t ho Liri:i; 
 ig .starts tound m pain.) 
 
 Kit ty . 
 Go on niakirg love to rr:e^ you stupid! 
 
 Harry . 
 A part. R'jbbin,j; his aruu ) lovr the devil can T niake love 
 to you, if you pitch iia like that ? 
 
 Kitty. 
 (Apart ) Say something swe^t to 1:^3, you donkey! 
 
 Camilla. 
 (To !^.rnest. ) T shall be expeotinK you this evening. 
 
 ■iarry . 
 '■'ill you b3 cit hOi.3 ttus 3Y-ir.xv.g^ r.liss Ax.^-y v 
 
 (Siiiiling with an effort still rub- 
 
 bjng i'\i3 ari-i.T 
 
 Y3S, T v/ill. fanappingly. ) Conie early and st.-y late; and 
 I hope we shan' t be inlerrupt,o.d. 
 
 (Si[jnificantly , glancing across. ) 
 
 Ernest . 
 (To Gaiiiiulla. ) Half-past seven than. T shull be there 
 
Tf T soe hir. Lioir^ in thc*t dir^cnior, T' ii knock tho ch irch 
 nilitart into the iuddl3 o? next -.vo-3' • 
 
 f^'3--nt.3r '^orrest, briskly. L. ]L> ?. . 
 
 '''orr33t . 
 
 (as hj 3nt: ^'3.4 "^li^ reh jursal, la^Uis and 'i^nt,! ;^i!.^3r. 
 
 '^ >'^ .itL>/33 at tho cru3ir3d 'Capital; 
 thon at th^ brogcen s t at 1/3; ther. at 
 th.3 iiiaces of sjonary a.rd the wirdo 
 rnoYir:: about briskly as ho dO'Ss so» 
 Calls UP to th3 ;;cJ.lQry, up ctg^e. ) 
 
 T say, Hrc-.vr! paint now scsr-jry for av 3ry pieco T do v/-hil'i 
 
 t h ^is 3 aiiia t 3 ur s ar 3 re hear s 1 n ,^ . fT'-r^r r^laasartly coiiiArg dowr. 
 
 C. v^^ith book in his hard. ) .All ready, iL-dios am ;f^-^rtlomQr 
 
 W3 vz-ill procoed with the rc^h^arsql. 
 
 ^T,.. 
 
 rr-. 
 
 P'all ir! Riijht dross i -ourt. off by Tours. 
 
 Iorr3^. 
 T beg you pardon, those are not strictly i;rof essional tarhis. 
 
 Harry . 
 
 Pro , — Oh, very v;ell. ''reak ranks! You' re in cora;.and. 
 Give your O'.m oiMers. 
 
 ^'i'he follcyin;; ^^usiness slvould be 
 V 3 r y i • c. p i d , an d 1 uay , if d 33 i i' a b 1 e , b e 
 elaborated at rahec-rsal. 1 
 
 T^orr \7t. 
 (Loo'-in:: at book. ) The ^auti-of-t he-^-len, left. 
 
 ^KTtty .'/alks briskly across to ex- 
 
 tr 3;..o ri;^ht . ) 
 i'xcuse nie. '^hat side is left. Cpointin^^O- 
 
 Kitty . 
 ^^'^' ( "^hi ].L.,:-Gh33 strai^^iit across; stops.) 
 
 ^ or rest . 
 That's it — "c un-of-the-Gi^n, dov/r Ijft. 
 
 Q.i-L, ■.opa to one nee or sitting.) 
 The '?arl at rijjht upper cojT-er. 
 
 f i^'nest v/andars about up stage* ) 
 
17 
 
 The T-^aruhioness — ri^^ht, if /o.i plpj&se. 
 '■'ii.iir.ri th'3 aurliBnco. 
 
 li:y'?s frort! 
 
 ( iQ strolls to R. C. ) 
 
 '^orr-33t . 
 Thi .ikivl — I 'u3g your put' dor sir; you aro now in tho Left 
 uppar cor r or. 
 
 i^rrost • 
 
 Aj- 
 
 or -• ^st 
 
 ■"•' lli-iUiL upper corror,if you plo..3e 
 
 (i^rrest crosses ': o ^^. at b:i3k, stnub- 
 lir.o ov?v jcii.otx^ir [,', ) 
 
 ('rourd Arms! 
 
 i<..ri'y 
 
 •'err est . 
 
 K'5ep your ey^s out of tho flios sir, '''he P-url cro^sses st. ^g 
 
 as ho ^rtars to oxtrsme left. 
 
 C?^rrest -.Tc-.lks str^^i^^ht facrosF sta^;a 
 to L, At b.^ok: ^urrs ghurn angle 
 c.r.d ccr.Gs do\/r .b. ) 
 
 iiurr 
 
 'il3 ri-ht! lUilt! 
 
 Wr f rilW 
 
 I-*ardon ;.iq; Mr. Duckv/orth, '^'aq :*!arl rnoyes dir ^otly dovm from 
 ri[5ht upper corner to extreme left front. 
 
 ■J 3ft oblxqu3l 
 I'O'vn 3l-!.nting. 
 
 ^u>r:y 
 
 ■•u—iilla 
 
 »h — T .3 3 — 
 
 aoro33 t!^:3 iniiLle aisle. 
 
 Oon.e do\/n bias. 
 
 ■if ''' 
 
Caurt-ir-maroh to th.^ rif^ht ard try it acw,in. 
 
 P or rest . 
 Thfcit \/iIl do fcr th-3 pr3S3rt. '^I'^o Tr lu.r ^^rirco — 
 
 Uarrj . 
 '«^r 3 ! (Drav/in;* ur) \yith a stc^rt.) . A 1 1 'jrt i or ! ' '"'rossntir. , 
 cane as s\yQrd. ) 
 
 '''orr^st . 
 
 ^^tarding, if /ou please, ''is.'ri f^lur:ip?t. 
 
 Kitty. 
 You said T v/as "dov/T l'?ft" friRin;{. ) 
 
 '^orrest . 
 ^'' ov/ , 1 u d i 3 s L.r d g :; r 1 1 ^iiier , •,? 3 *•" ...y o t h 3 position of all t h o 
 charfict^rs at the baiiinninii; of tr.3 quint gtta — the reheursa 
 of vz-hioh v;a,3 broker off rather s iddorly y-^sterda/ nionring. 
 Th3 orchis tr^ is now hara, ard we will go through the quin- 
 tette oar^fully. A:.-. T said 7'^3t3r(la/, the :;{.^rt l^iu^n \fill as' 
 3U2-.3 uttitudi3 of loY?rlike dSYotion to their rfispoctive la-* 
 dios. 
 
 ("f^ach "^c'iit '.lrv.\/s up ard turrs av/<jy 
 petulantly;, 3aeh gi^rtl3i..an also 
 turn.! c.:;..^ay; so thc.t oacli pair of Ic 
 ^rs stard v/ith th.3ir -la-j-cs to ore 
 aroth jr . ) 
 'i^he gortleiiier vz-ill please rist their arms aff ootionately abou^ 
 the ladies vraists — and in the second line of th.G third star 
 za — ^turnir;; to leador.) f ourth bar ? 
 
 fT'ho iQctdor rods. Musical irtro- 
 daction begins Jti^.^htl/.) 
 At the fourlli 'uir in the 3Q<ioi.<:\ line of th^ third st^rza /ou 
 will kiss the ladies. 
 
 »/-•«•♦- ..» 
 
 V \i\ not L'oing '.^n with this play unless iv* charge lovers. 
 
 Camilla. 
 An adiiUrabl3 idea! we v/ill change by all means. 
 
 ^ Th ' leuder stops the iiiusic. ) 
 
 Har. ^ grn.. 
 Change lovn's ? Ohanf'e lovv/s! 
 
^^orrest, 
 
 Char:g3 — 
 
 Kit ty. 
 ::aptain Opdyko Liast be i^y ^ilarl, 
 
 Oaiailla. 
 Mr Duckworth shall bo t^o Tr.cliun Prince, 
 
 Harry . 
 'jt v/Q* ro both, jot our parts by hv3art. 
 
 \iv r 3s t 
 
 Kitty 
 T shci* r' t (JO or. v/ith th3 play unless v/"? charge loy'^r3! 
 
 Nor Ti 
 
 lar. '^- firr. . 
 
 Hut, really — lc-di3S — v.'q — 
 
 T sha' r' t say or. -3 v/ord o^ niy part, urlos?^ T hay 3 a different 
 lover. 
 
 Camilla* 
 ^ i Insist on a cjharge. 
 
 Kitty . 
 ^ \yil^ have ..not her ."^Carl! 
 
 f ^:rnest and 'Tarry liv^et 0. and walk 
 up stage in confidential consult atioi^ 
 
 '^orrest. 
 
 f^o leader, over f oot li;-:hts , ghrup(nin^? his r-^houlders. ) '^leas- 
 art state of thinjjs for a sta^je Liana(ier! T'hese Amatears are 
 always quarreling; professionals n3.yer do. 
 
 f'lr n e -^ t . 
 
 / "^0 -lurry up sta[:ie. ) Or your v/ord of honor, Ilarr, 
 
 Harry 
 On my honor as an officer and a (^ontleman. 
 
Th-3 slipp«3rs rorerrad to in that l9tt'3r vz-ere for n<? ? 
 
 harry 
 
 !''or your birthday to-ir.otr o\7. T vms only iioir.Q to try thoni 
 or, ^'^3 v/3ar th3 same boots. 
 
 % d^-ar f -How. 
 
 "9 v ;.\ ^l charijQ parts. 
 P»y all riear.s! 
 
 filr r '33 1 
 
 T'lo wqhak-33 '-Tarry ■■Yi.rmly j^y >• •} '^arcl 
 T"^ey whisper ir each othors ear.) 
 
 'iarry 
 
 i'lrrost 
 
 ( They come dowr . ) 
 
 V/e ,/ill obay yo.u- ao.Liards, Ic^dios. '^rrist v/ill bo th-? Tr- 
 
 ■■tarry . 
 [3 , Icid 
 diar Pi'ir.ce and T vrill b^ thg "ilarl. 
 
 ^orr 33t 
 ba ri 13 3 ar d j 3 r 1 1 -?it! an — t ^ ■ 3 qii ■. t 3 1 1 e . 
 
 ^nTsie. Medley. 
 
 "^onjs of th3 Day. 
 
 •Ml. 
 
 (Tha\r attQi.tt to sir.{ th^ "iral giji r- 
 tgtto of Act Third; ard it is a^iair 
 L. railur3, as at the 3nd of th<3 pre- 
 vioas act; this tine because the 
 t'.70 ^ertloriiOr: ho>yo char{i3d ;;.£-.rt3 ard 
 i^l confasod as to their v/ords '^0, 
 as '1 olljpv/s. Orchestra, ) 
 
 -iarr/ 
 jSin^inj, ) Tf i.iy uayj^ -he^ve been rath3r erratic, 
 
 T* 11 30 on in&ke — 
 
21 
 
 In'o, that's not th^ !^arl! 
 
 Kitty 
 
 f^-in i^ng) 
 
 -■iers* 3 tin ind of r.iy bachelor tr^ublgs 
 T' y3 captur-^H a — 
 
 Canal la, 
 'it's tho "larl* s part, r.ot the Pr in a 3*3. 
 
 grro3t 
 ( '^ir.:^ir:;j ) Tf tiy ways have bo^n r^thir erratic 
 T' ^^'i captured a J^wol — 
 
 Kitty. 
 o\/ you'ro ^ottirij b 1 1> parts i dx 3d up. 
 
 Hora' 3 ar. 3rd of uy bach3lor troubl'is, 
 T* 11 soon 1 ake tuii^rds -- 
 
 iiitt^ 
 ■q ui'o i.ou! Vou'rg both Jui.Vjilin^' up the '''arl and tho ^•irco 
 
 ard tha 'Vxnce and uh3 Karl — n3ith'3r of us ear tell vrhich 
 
 is oar ov/r lor^r. 
 
 Harry 
 '3ll, hang it! \v3*Vi charged parts, hov/ car .79 siru it ? 
 L3t' 3 :3in^ what W3 ploa3<3 — 3Y3ry ono of us! 
 
 ) ta sudd3nly laurch33 out into soiao 
 bright uorjular aorr^ of tho day. th3 
 oroh->stre joinirjj a moment after, as 
 if takirti it up. '3 sings or(^ stan- 
 za. Sr n 3 3 1 d . >. 3 h 3 s in i.umi 3 d 1 ^t 3 1 y 
 ,/ith or.Q stanza of soiie oth-ar popu- 
 
 la'- song. 
 
 '"'^or rost, tf-ho has moyed 
 
 up, c ouvi 3 do-.vn v/i t: h an ot her , 
 oach of th3 ladies irrturn sings a 
 stanza of a diff3r3r:t song or ballad. 
 ^Qiio oC tha .-gfrains or stanzas, por - 
 haps in ehoi*us» A g antral air of 
 raekl33s joIlJTyi as if tho r^hsarsdl 
 mijjht go,tQ t[)3 dogs. Tn tho case 
 of 3ach differ •n:t song, tha orehostre 
 com^s in a bar or t.ro aftar — not liarj- 
 ing, but as if it meraly came in vfith- 
 
out pi'9viou3 a.rrangQia3nt» Tf necess' 
 ^.ry to th-3 sirgQr a sir^^^le piteh~ 
 rote may b^ v/orkod in each tine, b y 
 soi:i3 instrument. ^ach singer runs 
 On froru ttie l^st ;yithout a pause or 
 br^ak, so far us possible. ) 
 
 ^ or rest. 
 
 (at t !'.3 end ) "t is Liy opinion thL.t this r3h<earsal is also a 
 failure- Aiaateur Actors and their little cannibals be — 
 
 theladi.es. 
 
 "'>^:re3t 
 
 Thoy i-nay dire on ono another. Toadies and gentleraer, ^^ood- 
 
 da/. 
 
 ( -txit rapidly, 3ither up C. and out 
 -J. U. ''^. v^r across and Gut h. 1. f'!. 
 
 with hands in pockets or under coat. ) 
 
 Harry 
 i'he rehearsal a failure ? by no wears! it has just commenc- 
 ed, .^^rnist and T hay3 changed parts — he is the ''"ndian 
 Prince and T aj.i the ''-arl — we know our v^ordsi already, v/i th- 
 ou t a nioni > n t ' 3 s t u dy . 
 
 H!rnest 
 
 Perfectly; v/e knoy/ every lino of oar rev/ parts. 
 
 !arry 
 
 f To Kitty L. ) '!y d...rlin:.; Kitty — T lyould say — my darling 
 i^aun-of-t,Ii3-ni3n -- 
 
 Ernest 
 
 (^'0 Oai'-J-illa )R. ) nj clear Canilla — ^ ./oald say, d/ dear 
 Jtarchioness, T have long loved you in secret. 
 
 (Kitty starts and.:draw3 up h* ^ 
 
 (To Kit by . ) T have lo /:-''. you frou O'lr early childhood. 
 
 (Camilla starts and draws up ^^. ). 
 
 j^nest^ 
 True, T j^ave ..^y nand Lo ano^h-jr — 
 
 :iarrX-. 
 T have never spoken my thoughts till now. 
 
Uy heart !u,s b-aor /ours or.ly from t^io first. 
 
 (Kitty turrs ^^.rd moves 0. ^lightly up 
 up st^j^ii^y 7h,>roo3h3 stands lookxrg 
 at "-'enr^st cj.rd wamilXa, 'Without payirg 
 tho slit1?^test attantior to Ugrry. 
 TfvT^^^'j n3rm'4m^n go on simultara usV 
 
 -Jc^rryjo .it^^rVg b^ack, .^(^ >i^^^(^st to 
 CaL.IlXa. 'lown R. ) 
 
 A life of ctovot ion, ^ha iovitig .^^flFiiratior. of a v/orshippor c*t 
 the f9'Jt of b3aut/?shall bs yours." Jieath and death only 
 shall diyid9 us. I a;.: your slave. ■ • 
 
 Uarrv 
 
 '^he most ardert passio^n of a warm and lovin^^ h^art is yours, 
 fair ar.gel of my brightest visior.sl "transports of joy fill 
 my broast at every thought of your britjht face, r.iy fair en- 
 chant r ess i 
 
 KiUx 
 
 (_Angi-il/, !:urn in H' suddenly down L. ) Oh! T* d like to scratch 
 their ey es out I 
 
 Hurry 
 f T^vir.i^ folio zed her, and t enderly, over her shoulder.) ;Iy 
 dear Kitty, T mean, "./ d 3ar '^aun, v/h 3r v/e ^rere childrert to- 
 gether, T dreamed of you, ar.d yon only as my future vrife. 
 
 fCanilla starts and listens intent- 
 ly, ijlrnest m^kirn love to her ir dumb 
 shov/. ) 
 
 If T had spoken tenderly to another, it was because T thought 
 
 you .vere indifferent to me — a mere flirtatior on my p;..rt, 
 T was desperate! 
 
 ((Camilla moves 0., slib^^tly up stage , 
 and stares at ^hem, pattir.;, '''•er foot , 
 and not payin;{ the slightest attenticr^ 
 to 'Ernest. '^h-^ t.70 ;:ertl3mer speak 
 again simjltaneously ; Jlrnest to Da-. 
 mi 11a* s buc k , and • Tarr y to K i tt y , 
 down It*) 
 
 Srnest 
 
 Nothing shall ev3r tear uj asunder. '^he charm of lif^ is 
 gone when T do not see your smile- The one cherished hope 
 of my existence is vO be near thj^^ — thee only! — ror.3ver! 
 
'Jopo Ld.i\33 in I ly breast ./h'ln yon are absert, T liv3 only in 
 your prosence. V./uy frcni the swoot sunshine of your face, 
 T aiii utt:3rly vr/etched. You, only, are tho or3 bri^^ht r^ttcr 
 of my live! 
 
 ami 11a. 
 f / n gr i 1.;' , !: ur n i n r. s u d .! 3 r ly d o./n ^ . ) 
 
 Oh, — T — T T cannot 
 
 t033p ray tsijiper much lonj^or! 
 
 (Ernest sings to her.) 
 f music ^ 
 
 'inal — '"olos, Duets '< Quart etts. 
 
 All. 
 
 .rn 33 1 . 
 f\ir "Jjittle Sweetheart" K'o. 3 aocon- 
 
 pany 
 
 ini{ . us io. ) Olivet te introducjtioni 
 
 ■f'iittle Sweetheart, aoriie and ki53S lue, 
 
 ■T ist once iiie before T go 
 Tell me truly v/ill you miss me, 
 As T v/ander to tind fro. 
 
 fl^jsical pai]-^?!- ) 
 
 Kitty , 
 i cry, but T jont! 
 
 ■iet i:i'3 fe^i the tender i^i-essing 
 Of your ruby lips to mine, 
 ^■^ith your dimple hands caressing, 
 And your snowy arms entwine. 
 
 (H^fram 3nin[^ by ;-^rnest and Ccmill^ 
 
 j.n duet, she taking his hand and r-^st 
 ing her ctlvsr hc.rd ...r. his shoulder. 
 Kitty vYatches 
 
 • em , mo\^in?{ u b ou t 
 
 liitt 
 0^. : 
 
 ... , . r." 
 
 L^iiy, -arry lollovyin;, her and mak- 
 ing ardent love ir dumb show at h?r 
 back. She makes suddan turns and he 
 is oblif^^d to dodge her %g.) 
 
 ^i sweetheart, coins ^.nd kiss me, 
 ^ome and v/liisp^r 3,v;3t and low! 
 
That your hs^^rt v/ill sadly miss i.ie 
 As T> wcind-^r to and fro, 
 youl 
 
 (•"-Un.iintirinimediatQly to Kilty, down 
 Ij. "^ra/ '"ciA9 Voui'self at Home" — 
 1 v' 3 v/ vvo r d 3 . Vo . 3 ac c oiiip any ir f^ nius i c . 
 To b3 sun^ in doubli-guick tirue.) 
 
 T 
 Whon first v/3 nvjt , T lov^d you, pet; 
 
 ^^ u t you \( 3 r G coy an d 3 hy . 
 T held your hand and told ray love; 
 
 T': necirly ..^ado y;u cry. 
 You 'jlushod and grsv/ a rosy rad, 
 
 '^ut did not L»id rao roam; 
 You ./hiaparod lov/ and gently said, 
 
 " Pr ay nia k o y o ur 3 o I f a t hoiiu • " 
 
 ( lUllaa Taylor. '"usical ^ause,) 
 
 Canulla. 
 T^T^T postively shall not cry! 
 
 As days pass 3d on T oft on came 
 
 And sat with you, my d3ar, 
 rpon the sofa, sida \yj si! 3 — 
 
 "'3 could not bo rior3 noar. 
 You folt my arm, you di-oppod your hgad, 
 
 Hut did not bid uq roam; 
 You whispered low and gently said; 
 
 "Pi- ay i-iaka your3 3lf at home." 
 
 (Refrain sun;', 
 
 jy Harry 
 
 and 
 
 Kitty 
 
 in 
 
 duet 
 
 :v? 
 
 .3 t 
 
 akma 
 
 his 
 
 r^and 
 
 ai:d 
 
 res' 
 
 irg 
 
 h3r ot 
 
 her 
 
 iiand 
 
 OE 
 
 his shoulder. 
 
 Cau.i 
 
 11a ^v,.. 
 
 , t c !■•. 
 
 •33 t;T- 
 
 )i:\^ 
 
 aoyir 
 
 il a-:o 
 
 It 
 
 angr 
 
 i ly ; 
 
 Er n 
 
 05 1 folio .ring 
 
 hor a 
 
 nd 
 
 leaking ar.' 
 
 3rt 
 
 lore 
 
 in 
 
 dumb 
 
 show 
 
 to 
 
 hir 
 
 back; 
 
 do 
 
 dging 
 
 hor 
 
 ^c. 
 
 "c. ) 
 
 
 '* Pj' ay make y ur s ol f at hor .3 , " 
 "Pi' ay liiaka your so If at homo," 
 il) whispered l^v/ and g'-si tly siiid; 
 
 y ou) 
 
 "Pi' ay Liaka yourself at home. 
 
Ard nov/ our lov3 ijrov/s v/-arm, ray d^ar. 
 
 Our lips, Lhoiiis<^lv'3s, Uvve mot; 
 And v/iier thsy part, thoy lii^et i^^air. ; 
 
 T^^in oft3r thoro niy pet. 
 Ard vrhor T* ni ihoro you 1-^t hie stay^ 
 
 Nor 3ver bid mo roaLi, 
 You whi3p3r lov/ and ^erlly say; 
 
 "Pi^ay make yourself at hoin9." 
 
 ''hen e' cr Liy onus ar^ rourd your rack 
 
 ■'y htet-t is b'^cting hi:jh; 
 Your own T^f^el upon rny brear.t; 
 
 By turns you lau^h and cry, 
 Hrow pal 3 u-id blush and potat and siuile, 
 
 'Sut nevir bid ras roara; 
 You w'hispor low and g'^ntly si^^-i 
 
 " Pr ay i^^a ]■: e yourself at h oriK3 . " 
 
 (Refrain ir dust. He n >w places 
 his arioi about her waist ard she r-^sts 
 her head on his shoulder ^ Very af- 
 fectionate attitude. 4 
 
 " ?i-ay make yourself at hofuo! " 
 "Pray niake yourself at hoiue," 
 T Iwhisper low and gently sic^^i 
 youJ^ 
 "Pi- a; make yourself at hoi^ie." 
 
 P.rn. " Cai. . 
 Little}^ 
 Oh, iiiys-.re at heart, coi-i3 and kiss me, 
 
 Oome and wi'^isper sweet and low, 
 That your heart will s.^dly miss m.e, 
 
 As I wander to and fro. 
 
 you- 
 
 (GojS into The nioaminij "^ynphony . 
 Caiiiilla in "Ernest* s arms; her head 
 or :-.j.s shoulder. Very af f ec?*: lonate 
 attitude . Kitty looks across and 
 sudd3r«ly^ rises from -arry^ s arms , 
 Pishi-n^i hiiu away? \ 
 
 Kitty 
 0-o-hl — 1 — I don' t like it this v/ ayl 
 
( Risir.;. from grresf s arms .:.nd pashinH him avray . ) V.rj i t h sr 
 do T! 
 
 Camilla! 
 
 Kitty! 
 
 0-o-o-ohl 
 
 0-o-o-o-h! 
 
 Kitty 
 
 O'cxTCiillb. 
 
 Kitty 
 
 Oaii.il la 
 
 r^oth bur.stir,^ '-rto taars, droppir^ 
 
 t/b.eir 
 
 facGS ir.lo thoir hands and sob- 
 
 bin^i. 
 
 'arr.7 and l^iTOst sign to ^.llcI 
 
 oth-y, 
 
 aid '3X(3hange pli.ces, £^cross 
 
 st,ao'3, 
 
 each jioinij to his own lady. 
 
 'ho/ sii:^ in duat.) 
 
 Har '^- grn. 
 
 f Air "in tho 01 earning" ^'o 1 aceonipuny 
 i n ^ inu s ie . ^.?o i' d s re -ar r an [^ od . ) 
 
 X 
 
 Tn thQ [gloaming, oh, my darling! 
 
 ■'Vh3n th3 liiihts ai'o dim and loyr. 
 And the quiit shadov/s falling, 
 
 ^>oftly c ms and softly go; 
 Whan the ./inds ar 3 gliding' faintly 
 
 With a gent 1 ^ , t or dgr si gh ; 
 Will you think of r-.o t-nd love mo 
 
 As you do '.Then T an ni;_;h ? 
 
 TT 
 Tn the gloaming, '-h, i y dcrlirg! 
 
 Think oh, lovingly of po! 
 Tho' T ar.. not irros^nt \fith you, 
 
 ^'^hen you*r3 lonely, think of mo. 
 l\f ov/n 'oart .-/ill turn v.dth longing, 
 
 '^han, as ovor unto thoe: 
 T ./ill 330 thO'O, tho' T» ir. absent, 
 
 IiOV3 tho3 truly, lo /o but thea. 
 
quettishly to tr>9 r-^sntlemer , placir.[j 
 their hards ir theirs.) The ladies 
 Sink back into th-3ir lovers* urins ; 
 ^rd t^3 riral st.rza is surg as a 
 quartette. ) (Togeth^H" 
 
 TTT 
 
 Tr the [jloaniirfi, oh., niy durlin,^! 
 
 Or the bri^l^test light of day. 
 In your absence, in your pre-ierce, 
 
 Here or thore:^ be wher i you uiB.y'i 
 Hy o^y r. h '3 ai" t v/ ill turn \r i t h lor H i ' ■ g » 
 
 Tn th^? evening or the d-y; 
 T v/ill lov^ you fondly , dear ly , 
 
 '^e you near or fi^r away. 
 
 T vrill lovd you fond and true 
 
 '^"e you near or fai* av/ay. 
 
 Curtain 
 
LIBRARY OF CONbRbbb 
 
 016 117 610 2 P