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MEMORIALS 
 
 GAPTAm HEDLEY YICARS, 
 
 NINETY-SEVENTH REGIMENT. 
 
 BY THE 
 
 AUTHOR OF "THE VICTORY WON." 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 ROBERT CARTER & BROTHERS, 
 
 No. 530 BROADWAY. 
 
 1857. 
 
^K 
 
 ^4 -2^ 
 
fins Bu^rlr 
 
 THE FAITH OF A SON 
 
 K» ^ff ectionatcli) 3:nscrrbcti 
 
 TO HER WHOil GOD GRACIOUSLY CHOSK 
 
 TO SOW IX HIS YOUNG HEART 
 
 ITS FIRST IMPERISHABLE SEED. 
 
C0ntenf5. 
 
 OHAPTKR PAQB 
 
 I. — Boyhood 11 
 
 II. — The A-wakening 19 
 
 III. — Conversion 35 
 
 lY.— Diary 54 
 
 Y.— Home 70 
 
 YI. — Friendship 87 
 
 YIL— The War 105 
 
 YIII.— The Hospital. . : 140 
 
 IX. — Winter before Sebastopol 194 
 
 X. — The Day-star rises 226 
 
 XI.— The Yictory 268 
 
 Appendix. — " In Memoriam" 273 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 It may strike some who take up this 
 volume, as strange that a memoir should be 
 written of one who was so early cut off, in 
 the flower of his age, that he had scarcely 
 begun the fulfilment of his youthful promise; 
 whose name, till its last honourable mention 
 by his Commander-in-Chief, was little known 
 beyond his own family and an extended circle 
 of friends and comrades. 
 
 Why, it may be asked, was he chosen out 
 of the many not less brave or less beloved, 
 who as freely offered up their lives for their 
 country, and whose graves are, like his, far 
 distant upon the shore of the stranger ? It 
 is thought that a perusal of the following 
 pages will sufficiently answer this question, 
 and that, by God's blessing, these records of 
 
VUl PKEFACE. 
 
 his brief career will not have been preserved 
 in vain. 
 
 If any have cast the bread of life upon the 
 restless waters of some wanderer's heart, and 
 are still waiting and hoping to find it after 
 many days, let them take comfort as they 
 read how the parental prayer and blessing, 
 which seemed to be disregarded, were recalled 
 in the moment of temptation and in a distant 
 scene, were mused upon during lonely mid- 
 night watches, and cherished in a close com- 
 panionship with danger and death. 
 
 There are those who, in the face of exam- 
 ples to the contrary, still maintain that en- 
 tire devotion of the heart to God must with- 
 draw a man from many of the active duties 
 of life, and who would be prepared to concede 
 that in making a good Christian you may 
 spoil a good soldier. To them the subject of 
 this memoir affords a fresh and ample refuta- 
 tion. While so many, whom God's grace has 
 awakened in our Army and Navy, conceive 
 it to be their duty, as they feel it will be their 
 delight, to receive a fresh commission as min- 
 isters of the Gospel of Peace, that they may 
 
PREFACE. IX 
 
 preach at once to others the Name so dear to 
 themselves ; and while the weak in faith seek 
 a sphere more sheltered from temptation, he 
 determined u-pon the wiser and nobler course 
 of standing firm to the colours under which 
 he was already enrolled. When called to 
 God's service, he found his mission-field in 
 the camp and in the hospital. He lived, 
 during months of sickness and pestilence, to 
 commend the religion he professed to all 
 around him — while he pursued the duties of 
 his profession with distinguished ardour and 
 constancy — maintaining as a Christian a high 
 reputation for braveiy among the bravest of 
 his companions in arms, and winning on his 
 first battle-field the blood-stained laurels so 
 soon to be exchanged for the crown of glory 
 that fadeth not away. 
 
 These pages may meet the eye of some of 
 the many young Englishmen who have more 
 of Christ's religion in their hearts than they 
 have ever avowed in their lives, whose best 
 feelings are stifled by the. atmosphere of the 
 society in which they find themselves, and 
 which they might and ought to elevate and 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 purify. Most grateful to God will tlie writer 
 of these memorials be, if the courage of any 
 such be exalted and confirmed, and their 
 manly hearts inspired to emulate the noble 
 example of a Christian Soldier. 
 
I. 
 
 " A noble boy, 
 A brave, free-hearted, careless one, 
 Fall of unchecked, unbidden joy, 
 Of dread of books, and love of fun ; 
 And with a clear and ready smile 
 Unshadowed by a thought of guile." 
 
 WiLUS. 
 
 Hedley Shafto Johnstone Yicaks was born 
 in the Mauritius, on the 7th of December, 1826. 
 His father, an officer in the Royal Engineers, 
 was the representative of the family of Don 
 Vicaro, a Spanish Cavalier who came to England 
 in the suite of Katharine of Arragon, and settled 
 in Ireland early in the sixteenth century, on the 
 marriage of his eldest grandson with the heiress 
 of the Lalor family. The family estate was Le- 
 vally, in Queen's County. 
 
 There was little to distinguish the early days of 
 Hedley Vicars from those of other healthy, high- 
 spirited boys. Active and fearless, he was fore- 
 most among his playfellows wherever fun or frolic 
 was to be found. Open-hearted and generous. 
 
12 BOYHOOD. 
 
 quick to resent an injury, but ready to forgive, he 
 was a universal favourite with them, whilst his 
 sweetness of temper, and kind, unselfish nature, 
 especially endeared him to his fj^mily at home. 
 His faults were those of an energetic and way- 
 v/ard disposition, and those legends which are 
 wont to be preserved in families, record occa- 
 sional instances of his odd and amusing perver- 
 sity. When the children were gathered around 
 their mother to repeat texts of Scripture in turn, 
 Hedley, refusing to enter into the spirit of the 
 little circle, would contribute nothing but " Re- 
 member Lot's wife." 
 
 On one occasion, being reproved by his mother 
 for light conduct at family worship, he walked 
 oif during the prayer, and ensconced himself in 
 a little cave in the garden, barricading it with 
 the determination of spending the night there, by 
 way of punisliing his mother for reproving him 
 in the presence of the assembled family. But 
 after a time his better nature was touched by the 
 entreaties and caresses of his little sisters, and he 
 returned, softened and penitent, to ask and ob- 
 tain forgiveness. 
 
 Once, at the end of the holidays, when he was 
 told to pack up his box for school, resolving to 
 put oiF the evil day as long as possible, he paid 
 no attention to his mother's repeated injunctions 
 until they became positive commands, no longer 
 to be disregarded. Then he walked away to his 
 
BOTHOOD. 13 
 
 room, with an air of insulted dignity, and soon 
 called ont, "Mother, my box is packed." On 
 opening the door of her room, she found the box 
 placed there, loosely corded and packed, indeed, 
 but with the housemaid's dust-pan and brushes, 
 and a collection of old boots, shells, stones, and 
 all sorts of rubbish, with which a few of Mrs. 
 Vicars's favourite books were irreverently jum- 
 bled ; the boy, meanwhile, hanging over the ban- 
 nisters, humming a careless tune, calmly viewed 
 a displeasure, the dignity of which it was not 
 easy to preserve. 
 
 Yet in spite of these and similar exhibitions of 
 waywardness, he never caused his mother serious 
 anxiety in his boyhood, or gave lasting pain to 
 that tender heart, ever knit to his own by the 
 fondest affection. 
 
 She was for some years the only guardian of 
 his childhood. Loss of health obliged her to 
 return to England with her children, whilst their 
 father was detained in the Mauritius by military 
 duty. He came home to rejoice the hearts of his 
 family in the year 1835, and died four years 
 afterwards, in the prime of manhood, at Muilin- 
 gar. West Meath, where he held a military ap- 
 pointment. He was honoured and beloved by 
 the whole neighbourhood. 
 
 High-spirited, and fearless for himself, for his 
 sisters Hedley vras ever thoughtful, and treated 
 them with invariable gentleness The tenderness 
 
14 BOYHOOD. 
 
 of his boyish years, for all who were under the 
 power of his superior strength, was the germ of 
 that constant consideration and goodness exer- 
 cised in after-life towards those who w^ere under 
 his command, which drew forth from them an 
 affection meet to illustrate the w^ords, " Perad- 
 venture for a good man some would even dare to 
 die." 
 
 When the boy was twelve years old his father's 
 dying hand was laid upon his head, with the ear- 
 nest prayer " that he might be a good soldier of 
 Jesus Christ, and so fight manfully under his 
 banner as to glorify his holy name." 
 
 It might almost seem that faith had given to 
 the departing Christian, as to the aged Jacob, a 
 voice of prophecy. Knows he not now, and will 
 he not yet more perfectly know, in a day for 
 which a groaning creation looketh, how fully a 
 faithful God granted to him this — his last prayer ? 
 
 From this time Hedley's love for his mother 
 gradually deepened into that peculiar form of 
 protecting tenderness which seems the preroga- 
 tive of a widow's son, and there grew up with his 
 growth an almost feminine gentleness and a sensi- 
 tive regard for the feelings of others, w^hich, com- 
 bined -with singular strength and stedfastness of 
 character, rendered the friendship of his matured 
 manhood so precious to those who had the privi- 
 lege of enjoying it. 
 
 To study he had always shown a marked and 
 
BOYHOOD. 16 
 
 positive aversion, and devoted his time to any- 
 thing rather than to the prescribed form of 
 drudgery. At one school, then newly formed, 
 where he was placed for a year or two, the con- 
 tagion of his high spirits often carried oif the 
 master — himself a young man — from graver pur- 
 suits to join in the wild adventures and pranks 
 of his gay and reckless pupil, somewhat to the 
 scandal of their sober neighbours. 
 
 This determination not to study followed him 
 to Woolwich, and prevented him from acquiring 
 the distinction necessary to secure a commission 
 in the Engineers or Artillery. All this was seri- 
 ously regretted by him in after-life, not alone be- 
 cause he thus deprived himself of a more advanta- 
 geous branch of the service, but also on account 
 of time wasted, which had been given him so to 
 use that he might finally render his account of it 
 with joy. 
 
 On Christmas-day, 1843, his mother received a 
 letter, announcing that her son had obtained a 
 commission in the line, written by the same hand 
 which on Good Friday, 1855, informed her how 
 faithfully unto death that commission had been 
 fulfilled. 
 
 Early in the following spring he commenced 
 his military career by joining the depot of the 
 97th Regiment in the Isle of Wight. He was an 
 ardent lover of his profession, and from first to 
 last was devoted to its duties. In wTiting to his 
 
16 BOYHOOD. 
 
 mother an account of his first review, with ita 
 fatigues of marching, skirmishing, and firing, he 
 adds with boyish pride, "But my zeal for the 
 service kept me up." 
 
 In the autumn of 1844 he returned home to 
 take leave of his family at Langford Grove, in 
 Essex, before sailing for Corfu. His eldest sister 
 well remembers his joyous bearing as he fii-st ex- 
 hibited himself to them in the Queen's uniform, 
 and her own admiration of the bright, intelligent 
 countenance, broad shoulders, and well-knit, ath- 
 letic figure of her young soldier-brother. A few 
 weeks afterwards he sailed for Corfu — now fairly 
 launched in the world and in a profession beset 
 with temptations. 
 
 He still retained the frank demeanour and kind 
 and generous disposition which had distinguished 
 him as a boy, vrith a keen relish for adventure, 
 and a quick perception of the beautiful in all 
 around him, as his descriptions of scenery sufiici- 
 ently show. Gifts are these, lovely in them 
 selves, but dangerous, often fatal, to their pos- 
 sessor, as the wrecks upon many a shoal of life 
 too truly testify. 
 
 He had a pleasant and prosperous voyage out ; 
 with his usual activity lending a helping hand to 
 the sailors in the work of the ship, and winning 
 their hearts by his genial manners. At Corfu he 
 entered with spirit into all the amusements which 
 offered themselves to him. His letters to hia 
 
BOYHOOD, 17 
 
 family were iiv. w less frequent than ever before or 
 afterwards, and at this period of his life his reck- 
 less disposition often led him into scenes of which 
 his conscience disapproved, and to excesses which, 
 though never matured into habits, and, by the 
 grace of God, early and for ever abandoned, were 
 afterwards the subject of bitter and humiliating 
 remem*brance. In reference to this he wrote in 
 1854, "You will be spared poignant remorse in 
 after years by remembering your Creator in the 
 days of your youth. I speak from heartfelt ex- 
 perience. I Avould give Avorlds if I had them, to 
 undo what I have done." 
 
 A single letter will be sufficient to show that 
 his correspondence was at this time restricted to 
 the details of his outward life : — 
 
 TO niS MOTHER. 
 
 " Cephalonia, 1845. 
 u * * * TiSist week I had a delightful trip 
 to Zante, where I was ordered to sit on a court- 
 martial, and remained three days. I never en- 
 joyed a place more. It is a beautiful island 
 covered with verdure. A wing of the reserved 
 battalion of the 97th is quartered there — two com- 
 panies in the town and one in the castle, which is 
 about a mile above it. Clambering up was te- 
 dious work, as the hill in some parts is nearly 
 perpendicular. I was, however, well repaid for 
 my trouble on arriving at the summit, where the 
 2* 
 
/ 
 
 18 BOYHOOD. 
 
 Bight which 23resentecT itself to my eyes was most 
 magnificent. On one side of the ramparts you 
 behold the town far below and the harboui 
 crowded with merchant vessels of every nation ; 
 while in the distance, through the misty haze, 
 appears the dark outline of the Morean hills. 
 Looking in the opposite direction, you see an im- 
 mense plain thickly planted with vineyards, stud- 
 ded with olive groves and pretty villas, just visi- 
 ble in the distance. Still further, mountains 
 capped with snow form a boundary to the valley." 
 
 Soon afterwards he was quartered in the castle 
 at Zante, to his great delight, and his letters con- 
 vey the same vivid impressions of the beauty of 
 the scenes which surrounded him : — 
 
 " Summer is changing the aspect of all around. 
 The plains beneath are already clothed in green ; 
 the vines, olives, pomegranates, and hawthorn, 
 with roses, geraniums, and other wild but sweet- 
 ly-scented flowers, shed their fragrance through 
 the air, and every thing looks charming. Zante 
 is a perfect garden of roses. I generally have 
 two or three bouquets in my room. One ?ould 
 hardly have more pleasant quarters." 
 
II 
 
 %hj Jitoa It tiling 
 
 " Happy h« 
 With such a mother ! Trust in all things high 
 Beats with his hlood ; and though he trip and fall. 
 He shall not blind his soul with clay." 
 
 Tennyson. 
 
 The 97th was ordered to Jamaica in 1848. 
 From Maroon Town he thus writes to his 
 mother : — 
 
 " I see it all now. It is I that have caused 
 your illness, my darling mother. Ever since the 
 receipt of your last letter, I have been in a dread- 
 ful state of mind. I feel that I deserve God's 
 severest punishment for ray undutiful conduct 
 towards the fondest of mothers, but the excru- 
 ciating thought had never before occurred to me 
 that He might think fit to remove her from me. 
 Oh, what agony I have endured ! what sleepless 
 nights I have passed since the perusal of that 
 letter ! The review of my past life, especially 
 the retrospect of the last two years, has at last 
 quite startled me, and at the same time disgusted 
 
20 THE AWAKENING. 
 
 me. You will now see the surest sign of repent- 
 ance in my future conduct ; and believe me, that 
 never, as far as in me lies, shall another mo- 
 ment's anxiety be caused you by your dutiful and 
 now repentant son." 
 
 The remorse which he thus affectingly ex- 
 presses, was caused by his having incurred debt, 
 to no great amount, but such as he knew would 
 become a burden to a widowed mother. During 
 his residence in one of the Mediterranean isles, 
 he had become acquainted with a family who 
 showed him great hospitality, and in maintaining 
 social intercourse with them, and sliaring their 
 pleasures, he had involved himself beyond his 
 means. It was the first and the last time that 
 his unselfish nature thus transgressed. 
 
 In the depth of his penitence for his errors 
 towards an earthly parent — called forth by the 
 patient bearing of her forgiving love — do w^e not 
 see the foreshadowing of that prostration of soul 
 with which he humbled himself, when once the 
 kindness and long-sufiering of his God and Saviour 
 were manifested to him in the fulness of redeem- 
 ing love ? / And thus it w^as first through the 
 raising of his moral nature, by means of the ho- 
 liest affections of man's heart, that he was event- 
 ually, after many a fall and rising again, to be 
 drawn up into the higher life of fellowship with 
 the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. > 
 
 The depth and tenderness of his feelings at 
 
THE AWAKENING. 21 
 
 this time are well spoken again in the following 
 letter to his mother: — 
 
 " What a difference there is between the 
 crowded sea of the Mediterranean and the broad 
 and dreary expanse of the Atlantic ! On the 
 former sea we passed hundreds of vessels, but 
 from tlie day we left Gibraltar to enter into the 
 Western Ocean, to the time we sailed up the 
 Carribean Sea, not more tlian two vessels hove 
 in sight, and they were nearly hull down with 
 their top-spars alone visible. On, on we went 
 through the monster ocean of the western he- 
 misphere, with the glorious sky above, and the 
 rolling restless waves beneath. A huge whale 
 kept us company for one day — no one on board 
 had ever seen one like it. Porj^oises and dol- 
 phins enliven us also by their presence every day, 
 affording great delight, by their clumsy gambols, 
 to the seamen and soldiers. 
 
 " Our watches were kept day and night. I 
 had my vigil to keep for four hours every night, 
 and often have I, when on the middle or morn- 
 ing watch, clambered aloft to the tops, and sat 
 down and watched, on many a wild and stormy 
 night, the flying scud as it rolled restlessly across 
 the face of the moon, entirely wrapped up in 
 thoughts of you and home, of past times and 
 past events. I have imagined myself coming 
 home, the surprise it would give you, and how 
 
22 THE AWAKEiNlNG. 
 
 lappy we should be. In the midst of such de- 
 licious reveries, the retrospect of the last few 
 months has struck me as it were with a blight. 
 I have said to myself, ' Oh, that I had the last 
 two years allotted to me to live over again !' 
 Alas, regrets are now unavailing ; let my future 
 aim be to atone for the lapse of time which can 
 never be recalled. 
 
 " We anchored on the morning of the 5th in 
 Montego Bay ; and landed the same evening. 
 By the time we had formed on the beach it was 
 quite dark ; that most pleasing part of the day, 
 twilight, being very short in these latitudes. As 
 soon as the guides were ready, our company 
 marched off to Falmouth, twenty miles distant, 
 while I gave the word of command to No. 5 com- 
 pany, 'Right, form, four deep, march, quick 
 march,' and we began our night march to Ma- 
 roon Town. We were accompanied by crowds 
 of blacks, many of whom carried torches of re- 
 sinous wood ; and the light glaring on the men's 
 bayonets and appointments, through the pitch 
 dark night, produced a very good effect. I wish 
 the moon had given us her friendly light, for 
 then I should have been able to give you some 
 account of the country ; as it was, I could only 
 distinguish that we were marching on a road, 
 with a deep ravine on each side, through a rich- 
 ly-wooded country. The chirping made by in- 
 sects was both louc' and incessant, and tlie fire- 
 
THE AWAKENING. 23 
 
 flies flitting in the bushes, and across our path 
 by myriads, now and then showed us by their 
 light a yawning abyss, as we marched, skirting 
 its edge. The air was hot and sultry ; yet, in 
 spite of this, and the badness of the roads, the 
 first six miles were speedily got over ; but, as we 
 advanced higher up, the country became more 
 wild, and the roads extremely dangerous, so that, 
 commanding the company for the time being, I 
 had to keep the men w^ell in hand, files locked 
 up. Even in spite of this precaution, one very 
 fine young fellow was nearly killed by a fall over 
 a precipice, but was providentially saved by some 
 bushes. It was half an hour before we got him 
 out. We had to make repeated halts, as the 
 men began to show symptoms of fatigue; and 
 when we arrived at the half-way house (eleven 
 miles over), we halted to serve out to each man 
 some bread and a ration of spirits. After this 
 slight refreshment, the men fell in, the advance 
 sounded, and onward we trudged. 
 
 "It now became all up-hill work, and very 
 wearisome : yet I kept my station at the head of 
 the column. About a mile from the half-way 
 house I went ahead of the column, and soon met 
 the advanced guard of the 38th. They cheered, 
 and told us as we passed, that their comrades 
 were close at hand. In another ten minutes we 
 encountered them. They cheered us loudly, and 
 shook hands with a number of our men, wishing 
 
24 THE AAVAKENING. 
 
 US all good luck, and good health at Maroon 
 Town. 
 
 " This place is merely a cantonment, consisting 
 of the Barracks, distant from our quarters about 
 200 yards, and numerous pretty thatched cot- 
 tages, with neat little gardens attached. It is 
 situated in a dell, about 2,500 feet above the 
 level of the sea, surrounded on every side by 
 hills, which are thickly covered by stately trees. 
 The foUage is very luxui-iant, and the air is richly 
 loaded with the aroma of numerous plants. Al- 
 together the scene is delightful to one who can 
 enjoy the country ; and as if nothing should be 
 wanted to heighten the beauty of the scene, 
 through the opening between two hills is visible 
 the boundless expanse of the ocean. 
 
 " Often do I wander into the forest to enjoy 
 the cool refreshing shade of the trees, and undis- 
 turbed, to think of home — a sweeter contem- 
 plation to me now than all the beauties of nature. 
 
 " I have two very nice rooms, and a pretty 
 garden attached, with arbours of trellis-Avork. I 
 have built a nice place, myself, for j)oultry, and 
 bought eight hens and two cocks, by which I in- 
 tend soon to make money ! They have already 
 laid thirty-two eggs, which sell here at the rate 
 of three half-pence each. One of my hens is 
 hatching twelve eggs, and long before this letter 
 reaches you, I hope to have a flourishing brood. 
 There is a fine large tank close by our quarters, 
 
THE AWAKEXING. 25 
 
 where I bathe twice every day, and enjoy the 
 luxurious size of my batli." 
 
 Five months later, he thus writes : 
 
 "My Darling Mother — I do love you, and 
 that fondly, although I have often (and may God 
 Almighty forgive me !) rebelled against your 
 wishes. 
 
 " Mother, I ask yonr forgiveness for what has 
 passed. You know not what real anguish some 
 of your letters have caused me ; and although I 
 have tried to drown the voice of conscience, after 
 reading them, a still small voice has always been 
 whispering in my ear, and kept me from commit- 
 ting many a sin." * * * 
 
 In writing, at the same time, to his sister, he 
 alludes to forebodings of an early death occasion- 
 ally coming across him, and wishes he were 
 " prepared :" 
 
 " I am no coward, but the thought of death is 
 solemn, and the idea of dying far aw^ay from 
 home, with no fond mother or sister to give me 
 comfort in my last moments, is sad enough. 
 Yet I hope the eifect* of these reflections is 
 wholesome, and will make me consider seriously 
 whether I am fit to die." 
 
 He thus writes from N'ewcastle, on the 5th of 
 June, 1849: 
 
26 THE AWAKEISnXG. 
 
 " My Deaeest Mother — I have just received 
 your truly fond and affectionate letter. I assure 
 you it made me shed tears. I feel that my con- 
 duct has been undutiful in not having written to 
 you oftener. But do not imagine for a moment 
 that my neglect in so doing ever arose from for- 
 getfulness. Far worse Vv^ere I than a brute could 
 I ever cease to remember the fondest and most 
 devoted of mothers. My dislike to writing in 
 general shall not prevent me from writing to 
 you or Mary by every mail for the future, with- 
 out fail, so I trust you will not have cause again 
 to upbraid me for having allowed such long in- 
 tervals of time to elapse between each of my 
 letters to you. That part of your letter in which 
 you mention your fainting on the terrace made 
 my blood curdle in my veins, and alarmed me 
 dreadfully. That night I knelt by my bedside 
 and prayed most fervently that the Lord Al- 
 mighty vrould spare your life for the sake of your 
 orphan children. 
 
 "A son's affection for his mother can only 
 really be known when he feels that her life is in 
 danger. I know not what I should do, or what 
 would become of me, were you, my precious 
 darling mother, to be taken from me. I should 
 go on through life v/ith a void that I know could 
 never be filled up. My chief pleasure during the 
 past year has been in looking forward to our 
 meeting once again in dear old England ; and oh, 
 
THE AWAKENING. 27 
 
 what deliglit this anticipation afforded me ! But, 
 mother,, you must and will get Avell again. I 
 shall yet, at some not lar distant day, have the 
 joy of seeing you, and kissing your fondly-re- 
 membered face. You shall be caused no more 
 pain or anxiety by me. Oh, that my past actions 
 could be obliterated from my recollection, and 
 that my conscience could acquit me of ever hav- 
 ing done anything to cause you grief and uneasi- 
 ness. * ^'' In ray last letter I mentioned a wush 
 to get a transfer to a regiment in India ; but, of 
 course, now that the war is over, it would be 
 foolish to do so. Besides, I have heard lately 
 that there is every probability of great promo- 
 tion in the 97th ; so I think I will still stand by 
 the Sky-blue. My mind is now relieved from its 
 chief pressure by the kindness of dearest Clara 
 and her generous husband. 
 
 " I must now tell you of the death of a brother 
 officer. Lieutenant Bindon. He died on the 13th 
 of May at about five o'clock in the morning. 
 Poor fellow ! his was a short but painful illness. 
 I remember when I went into his room the sun 
 was shining brightly through the wmdows, the 
 birds were singing cheerily, and the merry laugh 
 of the light-hearted soldiers (plainly audible from 
 their barracks) grated harshly on my ear. He 
 was dead ! Looking at his meek and placid face, 
 calm and unruffled, I could hardly believe that I 
 was not gazing on the living man. But, alas I 
 
28 THE AWAKENING. 
 
 his soul had fled. He was a robust and stalwart- 
 looking man, about twentj^-four years of age. 
 With God's help, I trust I have learnt a lesson 
 and a warning from his sudden death. He was 
 buried the same evening in the small graveyard 
 at the foot of the hill as you enter the canton- 
 ment. I, as senior subaltern, had command of 
 the firing party. When we arrived, the twilight 
 was fast verging into darkness, and the funeral 
 service was read by the light of a candle. This 
 is soon over, and then all retire from the grave 
 except myself and armed party of forty men. 
 We then give three volleys — the rolling echoes 
 are still reverberating when the earth is thrown 
 in — and all is over. Such has been the melancholy 
 end of my poor friend and mess-mate. I was 
 deej)ly affected, and could not restrain my tears 
 all the time. I felt my voice choked when I gave 
 the command, ' Fire tliree volleys in the air.' 
 
 "I am now in the quarters he once occupied. 
 It is a pretty cottage with two rooms, and a ve- 
 randah in front. When I first went into it the 
 passion-flower, jessamine, and honeysuckle, com- 
 pletely covered the windows ; but it made the 
 room so dark, and, combined with the associa- 
 tions of poor Bindon's death, rendered the cottage 
 BO gloomy that I pulled it all down. I have a 
 pretty little flower-garden, and a summer-house 
 formed of a large overhanging bamboo. Would 
 that I could transport myself and cottage to Es- 
 
THE A. WAKENING. 29 
 
 sex ! The weather has been lovely for the last 
 month. I enjoy the cool fresh air m the mornmg 
 very much. I am never in bed after half-past 
 five in the morning, which is the best time to in- 
 hale the bracing mountain-breeze. * * * I have 
 got command of a very nice company. The men 
 are mostly well-behaved. My endeavour has al- 
 ways been to be kind as well as strict ; the con- 
 sequence is (although I am my own trumpeter), 
 the men, I believe, would do anything for me. 
 * * '^ Now, dearest mother, good by. Take 
 care of your health, at least (if not for your own 
 sake) for the sake of your ever fond and affection- 
 ate son, " Hedley." 
 
 About this time, in a letter to one of his sis- 
 ters, he says : 
 
 " You did not mean to give me pain, dearest 
 Mary, but in the same letter in which you tell 
 me of my mother's illness, why did you remind 
 me of those strange huffs in which I used to in- 
 dulge, which may well make a son ashamed as he 
 remembers them ?" 
 
 This allusion refers to such domestic traditions 
 of Ills childish perversity as have already been 
 recorded. It touchingly reminds those Avho knew 
 him best of the sensitive tenderness of his heart 
 and conscience. 
 
 " Give my tender love," he adds, " to my 
 3* 
 
tfO THE AWAKENING. 
 
 darling mother, and tell her I received a lock of 
 her hair and another of yours, and am going to 
 get a small locket for each of them, and shall 
 wear them round my neck as a talisman. Darling 
 Mary, I think more of those two locks of hair 
 than of anythmg else in my possession." 
 
 In July, 1849, we find him intrusted with the 
 management of a sort of regimental carnival — an 
 entertainment which lasted two days, having been 
 given by the 97th to the neighbouring families 
 who had shown them hospitahty and attention. 
 At the close he expresses a sense of dissatisfac- 
 tion, without any detinite reason for it, but "is 
 glad it is over." 
 
 About this time he writes, with his usual frank 
 simplicity, " I have given up my cottage for the 
 last fortnight to some invalids from Kingston and 
 their doctor, and have domiciled myself in my 
 kitchen. They are very grateful to me for my 
 kindness." His cottage and garden were his play- 
 things, and his refined taste displayed itself in 
 their decoration, although this was now exercised 
 witli strict economy ; for he writes that he is 
 " saving every fraction he can, to pay off his few 
 remaining debts ;" and winds up this information 
 with the pleasant announcement, "In a short 
 time, dear mother, your son will be entirely out 
 of debt; hurrah!" 
 
 It was a year after this time, that a more seri- 
 
THE AWAKENIXG. 31 
 
 ous tone began to be discernible in his letters — a 
 longing for something higher than he had hitherto 
 reached — a conviction of sin before God, " sin 
 worthy of eternal punishment," with a desire to 
 " enter on a state of preparedness for death and 
 eternity." But his condition is that of one wan- 
 dering in a labyrinth, and the clue to the way 
 home is not yet found. He feels the force of 
 temptation, laments \ e dread of his companions' 
 ridicule, and confesses his own utter inability to 
 turn to God, whilst entreating his mother's pray- 
 ers that the Holy Spirit may be poured out upon 
 him. 
 
 The simple pleasures of his cottage home have 
 a stronger hold than ever upon liis heart, and re- 
 awaken the old yearnings after those who made 
 home to him in England : 
 
 "My garden is in first-rate order, and I shall 
 be sorry to leave it when we are ordered away. 
 The passion-flower, twined with honeysuckle and 
 convolvulus, are blooming so prettily over my 
 porch ! Oh ! my darling mother, that you were 
 here, living in one of my rooms ! What pleasure 
 it would give me to look once more on your dear 
 face, to mingle my prayers with yours for the 
 temporal v/ell-behig and eternal happiness of 
 mother and son. I generally retire to my sum- 
 mer-house to read when I feel serious; there I 
 have no interruption fiom any one, and can sit 
 
32 THE AWAKENING. 
 
 for hours, Avitli nothing to engage my senses but 
 the wide expanse of the distant ocean, the sweet 
 scent of heliotrope and geranium, the voice of the 
 tiny humming-bird, or the rustUng breeze in the 
 lofty and quivering bamboos. Even the purring 
 of my little kittens is pleasant to me at such a 
 time. What fitter season for prayer than when 
 one is surrounded by the gifts of the All-powerful 
 Creator. But, oh ! dear mother, I wish I felt 
 naore what I write. 
 
 " A poor gunner of the Royal Artillery died 
 last night. His remains are to be buried to-day. 
 While I write I hear the Dead March, and now 
 the funeral party are winding their way to the 
 graveyard, tlie mufiled drum and shrill fife calling 
 forth the soldiers from their barracks to see their 
 lately gay and laughing comrade borne to his last 
 resting-place. Who amongst them can tell which 
 shall be next? Little they care, jDOor fellows! 
 The sound of their merry laughter will soon be 
 heard again, unsubdued as ever. I hope, my 
 dear mother, that these warnings will have a 
 salutary efiect upon me. Those have lately been 
 carried off whom I knew, and who (like myself) 
 thought little of death, until he knocked at their 
 own door, and beckoned them to come away — 
 xohere .^" 
 
 • We have now come to the close of his life of 
 general recklessness, chequered, and of late fre* 
 
THE AWAKENING. 38 
 
 quently, with strong religious impressions — con- 
 victions of sin, which resulted in vigorous though 
 short-lived efforts at reform. Of this portion of 
 his life, a valued friend of his, then belonging to 
 the 97tb, has lately written the following short 
 notice : 
 
 " From the first day I saw Yicars at Zante, in 
 1846, I was struck with his manly air and the 
 peculiar, ojjen truthfulness of his eye. He was 
 at this time quite taken up with the gaieties of 
 the island. We quitted for Malta, whence, in 
 1848, Vie sailed for Jamaica. During the voyage 
 he used to dress as a sailor, and delight in making 
 himself useful to the crew. In Jamaica he had 
 the advantages of attending an excellent ministry, 
 and of ^\dtnessing the beauty of consistent reli- 
 gious character in the family of Dr. M'llree, the 
 surgeon of the OYth, which had their effect upon 
 him. But this all passed away on his being with- 
 drawn from these influences, by being ordered to 
 the Lowlands to sit on court-martial, where he 
 was again led away by unavoidable association 
 with ungodly companions. At this time, as I 
 afterwards heard from his own lips, he totally 
 neglected prayer and the reading of the Bible, 
 and consequently lost the power of resisting 
 temptation. A long period elapsed before a se- 
 cond conviction arose, and this aj^peared to be 
 sudden, and lasted till he left Jamaica. He fre. 
 
84 THE AWAKENING. 
 
 quently came to me for prayer and the study of 
 the Scriptures, either at my own quarters or at a 
 brother oHicer's." 
 
 The 97th left Jamaica for HaHfax, iSTova Scotia, 
 in June, 1851. Almost immediately after land- 
 ing, he was ordered to Canada, to take charge 
 of volunteers for a regiment there. It was in 
 the autumn of this year that he visited the Falls 
 of Niagara, nnd his journal is ^vi'itten with deep 
 and enthusiastic delight, describing his increasing 
 excitement from the moment when he first dis- 
 tinguished the distant roar of the Avaters to that 
 which " filled him with sublime and awful joy 
 when they first broke upon his sight." He ex- 
 presses his belief that no one could be an atheist 
 whilst beholding the majestic power of God as 
 displayed in the stupendous magnificence of those 
 Falls ; and while returning day after day to re- 
 fresh and solemnize his spirit there, he realizes 
 with renewed earnestness the sinfulness of wasting 
 life in a mere search after pleasure, and is im- 
 pressed with the importance of having a fixed 
 aim of sufiicient strength to be a lever to his life. 
 Self interest, he has found, even when calculated 
 upon with the reckoning of eternity, is not strong 
 enough at all times to raise a man above the 
 dommion of his own inclinations. He knew not 
 yet " the expulsive power of a new aflection," for 
 he had not learnt to say, " The love of Chi'ist 
 constraineth mo." 
 
III. 
 
 " Henceforth I live." — St. Pattl. 
 
 " To be aw aliened^'''' writes one* who, both from 
 individaal and ministerial experience, Avell knew 
 the difference between convictiG7is and conver- 
 sion^ " 3^011 need to know your own heart, To be 
 saved^ yon need to know tlie heart of God and 
 of Cln-ist." 
 
 Hitherto Hediey Vicars had been the subject 
 only of the awakening work of the Spirit. In 
 later days, when he looked back on that period 
 of his hfe, he distinctly stated, "I was not then 
 converted to God." He was seeking, but he had 
 not found, "the grace of life," Thank God! 
 there is no such asking eye directed upward, to 
 ■which He does not, sooner or later, "reveal His 
 Son." After all his anxious alarms, which had 
 resulted in efforts succeeded by failures, he was 
 now to be taught that the strength to persevere 
 
 * Bev. Robert M'Cheyne. 
 
36 CONTERSION. 
 
 would be found, when the God of Hope should 
 have " filled him with all joy and peace in believ- 
 ing y" and that he was to continue " diligent to 
 be found of Him in peace^''"' as the one way of 
 being " without spot and blameless." 
 
 It was in the month of November, 1851, that 
 while awaiting the return of a brother officer to 
 his room, he idly turned over the leaves of a 
 Bible which lay on the table. The words caught 
 his eye, " The blood of Jesus Christ his Son 
 cleanseth us from all sin." Closing the book, he 
 said, " If this be true for me, henceforth I will live, 
 by the grace of God, as a man should live who 
 has been washed in the blood of Jesus Christ." 
 
 That night he scarcely slept, pondering in his 
 heart whether it were presumptuous or not to 
 claim an interest in those words. During those 
 wakeful hours, he was watched, we cannot doubt, 
 with deep and loving interest, by One who never 
 slumbereth nor sleepeth ; and it was said of him 
 in heaven, " Behold, he prayeth." 
 
 In answer to those prayers, he was enabled to 
 believe, as he arose in the morning, that the mes- 
 sage of peace loas " true for him" — " a faithful 
 saying, and worthy of all acceptation." "The 
 past," he said, " then, is blotted out. What I 
 have to do is, to go forward. I cannot return to 
 the sins from which my Saviour has cleansed me 
 with His own blood." 
 
 An impetus was now given in a new direction, 
 
CO^'VERSIOX. 37 
 
 of sufficient power to last till the race Avas run 
 — until he could say with the Apostle Paul, " I 
 have fought a good fight, I have finished my 
 course, I have kept the laith." Thenceforth he 
 lived. And the life he now lived in the flesh, he 
 lived by the faith of the Son of God, of whom 
 he delighted to say, with realizing faith and 
 adoring gratitude, " He loved me, and gave him- 
 self for me." 
 
 On the morning which succeeded that memor- 
 able night, he bought a large Bible, and placed 
 it open on the table in his sitting-room, determin- 
 ing that " an open Bible" for the future should be 
 " his colours." " It was to speak for me," he 
 said, " before I was strong enough to speak for 
 myself" His friends came as usual to his rooms, 
 and did not altogether fancy the new colours. 
 One remarked that he had " turned Methodist," 
 and, with a shrug, retreated. Another ventured 
 on the bolder measure of warning him not to be- 
 come a hypocrite : " Bad as you were, I never* 
 thought you w^ould come to this, old fellow." 
 So, for the most part, for a time his quarters were 
 deserted by his late companions. During six or 
 seven months he had to encounter no slight op- 
 position at mess, " and had hard w^ork," as he 
 said, " to stand his ground." But the promise 
 did not fail, "The righteous shall hold on his 
 way, and he that hath clean hands shall wax 
 stronger and stronger." 
 
 4 
 
38 CONVEESIOX. 
 
 All this time lie found great comfort in the so- 
 ciety of a few brother officers who were walking 
 with God, but especially in the faithful preaching 
 of the Gospel of Jesus Christ by Dr. Twining, 
 Garrison Chaplain at Halifax, and in the personal 
 friendship of that man of God, which he enjoyed 
 uninterruptedly from that time until the day of 
 his death. Under so deep an obligation did he 
 consider himself to Dr. Twining, that he fre- 
 quently referred to him as his spiritual father ; 
 and to his scriptural preaching and teaching, and 
 blessed example of " walking with God," may 
 doubtless be traced, under the mighty working 
 of the Hoi}" Spirit, those clear and happy views 
 of religion, and that consistency and holiness of 
 life, which succeeded his conversion. 
 
 We learn, from a letter recently quoted,* that 
 from this time his conversion grew daily more 
 deeply spiritual, and that he lost no opportunity 
 of attending every public service in Dr. Twining's 
 church, and his Bible Classes for officers, soldiers, 
 and those in hospital. His rapid growth in know- 
 ledge and grace is mainly attributed to the in- 
 struction and profit gained at these classes, by a 
 senior officer in the 97th, vrhose friendship he 
 deejDly valued.f 
 
 A heart so large and loving by nature as that 
 
 * From Charles Cay, Esq., Assistant-Surgeon, Coldstream 
 Guards, late of the 9'7th. 
 f Lieutenant-Colonel Ingram. 
 
COXVEESIOX. 39 
 
 of Hedley Vicars can scarcely accept the open 
 invitation to come to Jesus for pardon, peace, 
 and eternal life, without giving him an immedi- 
 ate response to the injunction, "Let hhn that 
 heareth say. Come." Accordingly, he began to 
 teach in a Sunday-school, to visit the sick, and to 
 take every opportunity of reading the Scriptures 
 and praying with the men singly. Of three of 
 these, whom he describes as " once great sin- 
 ners, nearly as bad as myself," he could soon say 
 confidently that they had followed him in turning 
 to God. At the same time he v,'as also the means 
 of awakening some of his brother officers to make 
 the earnest inquiry, " What must I do to be 
 saved ?" 
 
 "As he felt he had been much forgiven,'^ 
 writes the friend before alluded to, " so in pro- 
 portion was the ever-burning and increasing love 
 to Him whom he had so long grieved by his sins. 
 The name of Jesus was ever on his lips and in 
 his heart. Much grace was given him to confess 
 Jesus boldly before others; and when he was 
 Adjutant, his example and his rebukes to the men 
 for swearing carried great weight, and showed 
 his zeal for the honour of God." 
 
 The adjutantcy of his regiment was offered to 
 him by his Colonel in the spring of that year 
 (1852), with these flattering words: "Yicars, 
 you are the man I can best trust with respon- 
 
40 COXYERSIOIf. 
 
 sibility." This appointment appears to have 
 given universal satisfaction amongst officers and 
 men, although one of the officers remarked, jest- 
 ingly, " He won't do for it — he is too conscien- 
 tious." 
 
 Tliis conscientiousness was not only evmced in 
 his military, but also in his private life. Every 
 amusement which he found to be injurious in its 
 effect on his spiritual condition was cheerfully re- 
 linquished. In a letter to his eldest sister, he in- 
 quires her opinion of balls and other public enter- 
 tainments, and adds : " I have, of late refused 
 every invitation to such amusements, on finding 
 they made me less earnest and thoughtful, and 
 indisposed me for reading and prayer." 
 
 We find his growth in grace indicated in tho 
 following letter : 
 
 TO MISS YICAKS. 
 
 "AprH 29, 1852. 
 
 *' My Darling Mart — I am going on much 
 in the same manner as usual, with nothing to 
 disturb the even tenour of my way. But no ; I 
 must correct myself here, for I trust that I have 
 really turned over a new leaf, and that my heart 
 is gradually but surely undergoing a purifying 
 process. 
 
 "I have been fighting hard against sin. I 
 mean, not only what the world understands by 
 that term, but against the power of it in my 
 
COITV^ERSIOIS-. 41 
 
 heart : the conflict has been severe — it is so still ; 
 but I trust, by the help of Gocl, that I shall 
 finally obtain the mastery. What I pray for most 
 constantly is, that I may be enabled to see more 
 clearly the wicked state of my heart by nature, 
 and thus to feel my greater need of an Almighty 
 Saviour. You cannot imagine what doubts and 
 torments assail my mind at times, how torn and 
 harassed I am by sinful thoughts and want of 
 faith. 
 
 " You, Mary, can never experience my feel- 
 ings, for you know not in what a sinful state my 
 life has been passed. Well may I call myself ' the 
 chief of sinners !' I sometimes even add to my 
 sins, by doubting the efficacy of Christ's atone- 
 ment, and the cleansing power of his precious 
 blood to wash away my sins. Oh, that I could 
 realize to myself more fully that his blood 
 * cleanseth us from all sin !' 
 
 " I was always foremost and daring enough 
 in sin. Would that I could show the same spirit 
 in the cause of religion ; would that I felt as little 
 fear of being called and thought to be a Chris- 
 tian, as I used to feel of being enlisted against 
 Christianity ! 
 
 '' * Am I a soldier of the Cross, 
 A follower of the Lamb ; 
 And shall I fear to own his cause, 
 Or blush to speak his name ?' 
 4* 
 
42 coxyeesio:n-. 
 
 " I trust I am beginning to see and feel the 
 folly and vanity of the world and all its pleasures, 
 and that I have at length entered the strait gate, 
 and am travelling the narrow road that leadetli 
 unto eternal li^e. 
 
 " I trust you will not consider me a confirmed 
 egotist, for writing so much of myself I have 
 done so, because I thought you would like to hear 
 how changed I am become, 
 
 "I trust, dearest, that your heart has been 
 changed, long before mine Vv'as touched. Let us 
 both remember that we can do no o-ood thino- of 
 ourselves, for it is the Lord alone who worketh 
 in us both to will arid do of his good pleasure. 
 Let us not trust in our own righteousness, which 
 is but as ' filthy rags,' but let us trust entirely in 
 the merits and blood of our blessed Saviour. I 
 never can sufiiciently slio\v my gratitude to God, 
 who has shown such long-suifering forbearance 
 towards me — who has spared me through so 
 many scenes of sin and folly. 
 
 " Summer has begun to change the face of 
 nature, and everything is looking green and 
 lovely. I took a delightful walk into the country 
 yesterday evening — the first time I ever enjoyed 
 the blessed sense of communion with God. But 
 when I came home it had all fled, and left me in 
 a disturbed and restless state of mind ; my sum- 
 mer heart of warmth and love had changed back 
 into its natural state of winter, cold and dead ! 
 
COXYEKSIOX. 43 
 
 *'I am soiTy to say that poor Lieutenant 
 
 J is in a very precarious state ; even if 
 
 he recovers, he will never have the use of his 
 ]eg. I go sometimes to sit with him, and endea- 
 vour to bring to his mind the things which belong 
 to his everlasting peace. He said to me one 
 day, ' Vicars, tell me, do you really feel happier 
 now than you did ?' Poor fellow^ ! he is m a very 
 desponding state of mind. 
 
 " I generally spend four or five hours each day, 
 when not on duty, in reading the Bible, and medi- 
 tation and prayer, and take a walk every afternoon 
 for a couple of hours. I am longing to see you all 
 again, but I do not know when I shall be able. 
 Write soon, and tell me how you all are getting 
 on, especially how my darling mother is. Is she 
 looking ill ? Does she get out every day ? Do 
 not you think that the summer will make her 
 better ? Give my fond love to her. I will write 
 to her by the next mail, please God. 
 
 " Pray for me, and believe me, I never forget 
 to pray for you all. 
 
 "How little we do to show our love for that 
 Saviour, Avho agonized on the cross for our sakes. 
 I cannot close my letter better than by beseech- 
 ing Him to give us his Holy Spirit, to draw our 
 hearts above this world, to look to the Saviour 
 with the eye of faith. 
 
 " ' "When I survey the wondrous cross 
 On whicli the Prince of Glory died, 
 
44 OOXVERSIOX. 
 
 My richest gain I count but loss, 
 And pour contempt on all my pride. 
 
 *' ' Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, 
 Save in the cross of Christ my God : 
 All the vain things that charm me most, 
 I sacrifice them to his blood.' 
 
 " Adieu, my dearest Mary ; and always re- 
 member me as 
 
 " Your affectionate and attached brother, 
 
 " Hedley." 
 
 To his brother he writes : 
 
 May 13tb, 1852. 
 
 ct * * * j^Q^ ^jg p|.jjy earnestly for the 
 Holy Spirit, and we shall not be sent emj^ty 
 away. Let us ask Him to show us the sinful 
 state of our hearts. I have found comparatively 
 little trouble in giving up external sins, but the 
 innate sin of my heart, oh, how great it is ! It is 
 here the real battle must be fought, and the more 
 humbhng is the sense of our vileness, the more we 
 shall feel the need and value of a Saviour. We 
 all have our temptations, and in scarcely any pro- 
 fession could they more beset the Christian be- 
 ginner, than in the army. 
 
 " But let us remember, whatever be our calling, 
 God has promised that we shall not be tempted 
 above that we are able to bear. Only let us feel 
 that we are unable of ourselves to resist evil, or 
 to do anything good ; let us look to Christ, and 
 
CONVERSION. 45 
 
 trust in Him alone, and take up our cross, and 
 follow Him. We must give up the pleasures of 
 the world, for they unfit us for spiritual medita- 
 tion ; and although they may be hard to part with, 
 as a right eye or right hand, there is no alterna- 
 tive, if we wish to grow in grace. 
 
 " You will, perhaps, be surprised, as you read 
 this letter, at the change which has come over 
 me. Yes, I believe and feel that I am a changed 
 man ; that I have taken the important step of de- 
 claring on whose side I will be. Oh, that I could 
 persuade you to enrol yourself with me on the 
 side of Jesus Christ ! 
 
 " As Newton says, ' I know Avhat the world can 
 do, and what it cannot do.' It cannot give or 
 take away that peace of God which passeth all 
 understanding. It cannot soothe the wounded 
 conscience, nor enable us to meet death with 
 comfort. I have tried both services. For twenty- 
 four years have I lived under the thraldom of 
 sin, led by the devil. ISTone need despair of being 
 welcomed by the Saviour when he has pardoned 
 and brought to repentance such a sinner as I have 
 been. The retrospect of my past life is now 
 miserable to me ; yet before I was taught by the 
 Spirit of God, I thought and called it a life of 
 pleasure ! The very name, when applied to sin, 
 now makes ray heart sicken. Even then I never 
 could enjoy recalling the occupations of each 
 day ; and think you my conscience was quiet ? 
 
46 
 
 co^^rvEiisiOjS". 
 
 Ko, though agam and again I stifled it, as too 
 many do. Bitter experience has taught lue that 
 'there is no peace to the wicked.' ^Blessed be 
 God, I know now that I am pardoned and recon- 
 ciled to God, through the death of his Son. How 
 happy is the Christian's life when he has this as- 
 surance ! 
 
 '' Do not think, dear Edward, that because I 
 write thus I wish you to think me very rehgious, 
 or that I consider myself better than you. ^I do 
 not. But I find more pleasure now in writing on 
 these subjects than on any other, and I want to 
 draw out your thoughts about them. If you 
 have not yet turned entirely to God, take my ad~ 
 vice, and if you want to find true happiness, do so 
 at once." 
 
 A letter, dated June 23d, 1852, indicates Ms 
 steady progress in the new course : 
 
 " My Dakling Mother— If you look out you 
 will probably see my name in the Gazette in a 
 fortnight or so, as the Colonel sends the recom- 
 mendation home by this mail. My wordly pros- 
 pects will soon be considei-ably improved. What 
 reason I have to be thankfuf to Him who, not- 
 withstanding my utter unworthiness, has been so 
 kmd and merciful to me. Oh ! that I felt more 
 love and gratitude to Him. I trust, my dear 
 mother, that in the performance of the arduous 
 duties of an adjutant I may never neglect the 
 
COiTV^EESION. 47 
 
 more important duties of a Cliristian, and that I 
 may do all to the glory of God. How amply 
 shall I be repaid if even one of my fellow-soldiers 
 is brouglit by my example and advice, as a means 
 in the hand of God, to a saving knowledge of his 
 mercies in Christ. I must be prepared to meet 
 with much discourao-ement from io;norance and 
 hardness of heart, but I will endeavour to do my 
 duty and leave the issue to God, remembering 
 the words, ' Paul may plant, and Apollos water, 
 but it is God alone who giveth the increase.' 
 
 " Poor J 's leg was amputated above the 
 
 knee on Saturday. The operation was performed 
 under the influence of cliloroform. He bore with 
 Christian resignation the will of his Heavenly 
 Father. I was in Dr. Twining's house during the 
 time, but not present at the amputation, as I 
 could be of no use. He is now getting on well, 
 poor fellow. I am delighted to say I firmly be- 
 lieve that his suffering illness has, through the 
 blessing of God, been made the means of the con- 
 version of his immortal soul. 
 
 Four or five of my brother officers attend Dr. 
 Twining's Bible-class. One of them has, I trust, 
 been truly converted. He was, like myself, 
 about the last in the regiment one would ever 
 have thought likely to become religious ; but 
 God's ways are not as our ways, nor his thoughts 
 as our thoughts. I trust his example may do 
 much good. It is grievous to see how little re- 
 
48 CONYEESION. 
 
 gard men pay to the salvation of their never-dying 
 souls. But I must ever remember that I was 
 once like them, and worse ; and that it is only 
 through the grace of God that I am now differ- 
 ent. It may truly be said of me, ' Is not this a 
 brand plucked from the burning ?' I now see the 
 direful effect of a long continuance in evil, for sin 
 has had for such a length of time so entire a do- 
 minion over me, that I find it hard to fight 
 against it, and often think I must be worse than 
 any one else. If the Holy Spirit did not help me, 
 I never could have made even the little progress 
 in religion that I have made. If left to myself I 
 must fall. Oh ! that I may increase and grow in 
 grace each day !" 
 
 The same earnest tone pervades all his letters 
 during the remainder of his residence in Nova 
 Scotia. We find allusions to conflicts and diffi- 
 culties in overcoming temptations and establish- 
 ing a new course of life. " But I know it must 
 be done, and in God's strength it shall be," is 
 ever the conclusion. 
 
 Newton's " Cardiphonia" was a book which at 
 this time afforded him much helj) and consola- 
 tion : 
 
 "Do send for it, if you have never yet read it. 
 I get great comfort from his letters, for they show 
 that every believer is exposed to the same temp- 
 tations and trials, in a greater or less degree, and 
 
COXVERSIOX. 49 
 
 that his life is one of continual warfare. Does 
 not even St. Paul tell us that he had a constant 
 conflict of conscience against inclination, of the 
 desire to do right against the promptings of evil ? 
 I feel with Newton how poor, and weak, and 
 simple I am, but that Jesus is wise, and strong, 
 and abounding in grace. He has given me a de- 
 sire to trust my all in his hands, and he will not 
 disappoint the expectation which He has himself 
 raised. 
 
 " ' How oft have sin and Satan strove 
 To rend my soul from thee, my God, 
 But everlasting is thy love, 
 And Jesus seals it with Ms blood.' " 
 
 A letter, written by Dr. Twining to Captain 
 Vicars' eldest sister, upon receiving the intelli- 
 gence of his death, may find its place most appro- 
 priately here, as it gives a sketch of this period 
 of his life : 
 
 " Halifax, May 21, 1855. 
 
 " My Dea^r Lady Rayleigh — I felt impelled 
 to write to you so soon as I had learned that the 
 Lord had been pleased, in the inscrutable dis- 
 pensation of his providence, to call my dear and 
 highly-valued friend from his service on earth to 
 the fulness of joy at his right hand for ever. 
 
 " I thank you very much for your letter, writ- 
 ten at a time when your heart must be wrung 
 with sorrow. I have long perceived in my be- 
 
50 CONYEESION. 
 
 loved young friend a rapid ripening for glory. 
 This was evident hi his entire devotion of soul to 
 the Saviour, whom he loved, and that intimate 
 knowledge of the length, and breadth, and depth 
 of the love of Christ which he possessed, it 
 seemed to me, in an increased and increasing 
 degree every time I heard from him. Our short- 
 sighted eyes might see many reasons why he 
 should be continued in a sphere of usefulness 
 which he so eminently filled and adorned ; but 
 we see through a glass darkly : He who has been 
 pleased to say unto /«m, ' Come up higher,' has 
 condescended to say to us that all shall be ex- 
 plained when we see face to face, and know as we 
 are known. ' What I do thou knov/est not now, 
 but thou shalt know hereafter. 
 
 *' You ask me for some details relative to my 
 dear friend. It aftords me a melancholy pleasure 
 to give them, as well because it is the wish of 
 those to v.'hom he was most dear, as because it 
 recalls the occasions Avhen we took sweet counsel 
 together and walked as friends. 
 
 " When I first knew Captain Yicars he was 
 ' walking according to the course of this world.' 
 He had, as he told me, been under strong con- 
 victions m the West Indies and attended reli- 
 gious meetings ; but trusting in his own resolu- 
 tions, and not in the Saviour's strength, he had 
 fallen again under the powei* of temptation. 
 There was something very attractive in his 
 
cojrvKiisioiJ'. 61 
 
 appearance, and I asked him to mee*. with a few 
 officers and others at my house to join in reading 
 the Scriptiu'es, conversation, and prayer. He 
 came at once, and never failed to attend regu- 
 larly. It was soon evident that he took a deep 
 interest in the matter. He became a teacher in 
 my Sunday-school and attended a Bible class 
 which I had established on Sunday-evening for 
 soldiers, and another during the week for sol- 
 diers' wives ; this he did to encourage the men 
 and women of his regiment to come. He and 
 Mr. Nash always spent Sunday evening at my 
 house, as they never dined at the regimental 
 mess on that day. He told me of all his trials, 
 and we often knelt together in my little study, 
 laying them all open before a throne of grace. 
 It was evident as time passed on, that he was 
 growing in knowledge, in grace, in consistency, 
 in firmness, in Christian experience. 
 
 " I knew him much more intimately afterwards. 
 
 An officer in the 97th Regiment, Mr. J , 
 
 was shot through the knee in moose-hunting, 
 and being very uncomfortable at his quarters, I 
 brought him to my house, and took care of him 
 until (after the amputation of his leg) he finally 
 recovered. Vicars evinced the tenderest regard 
 for the body and soul of his brother officer ; he 
 nursed him with the greatest assiduity, and for 
 six weeks was a constant inmate of my house. 
 Then I began most intimately to know him — his 
 
62 CONVERSION. 
 
 high and honorable principles, his tender heart, 
 his sweet disposition, and all sanctified by Divine 
 grace ! His was a lovely character ; it was im- 
 possible to know him and not love him ; every 
 creatm*e about my house did love him. He had 
 to suffer a fiery persecution from some of the 
 ofiicers of his regiment. The Lord saw that it 
 was best, and made it a means of strengthening 
 and confirming him in the faith. You know, my 
 dear madam, that a certain degree of religion is 
 considered by the world to be decorous and 
 proper, but there is nothing so much dreaded as 
 being ' righteous overmuch.' It is quite impos- 
 sible for a Christian to comply with the maxims 
 and customs of a world which 'lieth in wicked- 
 ness ;' but my beloved friend was strengthened 
 to bear a consistent testimony to the truth, to 
 take up his cross and follow Jesus. 
 
 " He took part in all efforts amongst us in the 
 Redeemer's cause to win souls to Him. For ex- 
 ample, the Naval and Military Bible Society, 
 City Missions on the plan of those at home, and 
 a Society for giving the Scriptures in their o^vn 
 language to the Mic-mac Indians — the aborigines 
 of this country. Of these Societies he was a 
 member, and his memory is now warmly cher- 
 ished by those with whom he was a fellow-laborer 
 in these causes. But he rests from his labours, his 
 emancipated spirit is with its God. Oh, that we 
 may have grace to follow in his steps. I enclose 
 
CONVEESION. 63 
 
 one or two of his letters to me ; may I ask their 
 retm-n ? They are now doubly precious in my 
 sight. My prayers are offered up at the throne 
 of grace for the bereaved mother and afflicted 
 relatives of my friend. 
 
 "I am, my dear Madam, 
 " Your faithful servant in Christ, 
 
 " J. T. Twining." 
 
IV. 
 
 ••Take my heart, Lord, for I cannot give it to thee, 
 Keep it, for I cannot keep it for thee." 
 
 St. AxrotrsTiNi. 
 
 From his diary, kept daily with conscientious 
 regularity and faithfulness, we give the following 
 brief extracts : 
 
 ^'•July 3, 1852. — Rode out to visit Brunt, a 
 poor ordnance labourer. Read and prayed with 
 him for nearly an hour. He appears to be very 
 ill, but all his hopes are fixed on Christ. 
 
 " Sunday^ 4th. — Read a chapter of Bogatsky 
 this morning. Unrefreshed after morning prayer. 
 Instructed my class at the Sunday-school. 
 Thoughts wandering during Divine service. 
 Read and prayed with Corporal Cranny, 42d 
 Regiment, for nearly an hour. A bright speci- 
 men of a dying Christian. There were eighteen 
 of us at Dr. Twining's class in the evening. 
 
 " 5th. Rose at half-past five. Read a chapter 
 in Bogatsky. I feel I am but little advanced as 
 
DIARY. 55 
 
 yet. Evil thoughts clnring the day. Read with 
 Corporal Cranny for about an hour. Would that 
 I were more like him ! From not having prayed 
 for God's blessing on what I was going to read, I 
 felt little comfort from it. Did not oifer '.o pray 
 with him, as I was afraid I should break down. 
 Read and prayed with Brunt for an hour. 
 
 " Qth. — Engaged at orderly-room work, and 
 rubbing-up drill. My mind more at peace than 
 it is generally. I was with Jones for a short 
 time in the evening. I told him I had been to 
 see Cranny and Brunt. I am afraid I did so 
 with the idea that I should be thought well of. 
 I must strive much against self-rigliteousness. 
 Let me always endeavour to feel that, having 
 done all, I am but an unprofitable servant. 
 
 " Qth. — Prayed rather hurriedly, owing to put- 
 ting it oif too late. Wrote to Mary. Intended 
 to liave gone to see Cranny and Brunt, but had 
 not time. At Dr. Twininc^'s class in the eveninoj ; 
 there were sixteen sergeants, two privates, and 
 two women present. Prayed at night about 
 twelve o'clock. 
 
 " 9th. — Awoke sleepy and dull, but after 
 prayer felt much happier. Lost my temper once 
 or twice with the men. I feel I am unable of 
 myself to do any thing aright. Read Luke xv. 
 with Cranny, and prayed. Afterwards read and 
 prayed with Brunt. In the evening I became 
 unhappy, from thoughts of all ray former sins. 
 
56 THE AWAKENING. 
 
 " 11th. — In a very bappy state of mind after 
 prayer ; still the merest trifles distract my mind. 
 I attended the Temperance Meeting in the even- 
 ing, when I was delighted to see about sixty 
 soldiers of the 97th. I wish the whole regiment 
 would join. 
 
 '''•Sunday., ISth. — Went to the Sunday-school. 
 In the evening, we had sixteen officers and men 
 at the class in the hospital. Went to church 
 afterwards. Text — ' Create in me a clean heart, 
 
 God, and renew a right spirit within me.' 
 Oh ! do thou grant me this, for Jesus Christ's sake. 
 
 " 20th. — Arose this morning with no near views 
 of Jesus. Out of temper again to-day. Oh ! I 
 must strive against this. Read with Cranny for 
 half an hour ; then went to Dr. Twining's class. 
 Two there besides myself. I have forgotten God 
 to-day. Thoughts wandering in prayer. I must 
 look entirely to Christ, and live out of myself. 
 
 " 2Qth. — Spoke to Hylyard and two others this 
 morning about religion. I believe Hylyard to be 
 truly converted. He was with poor Brunt last 
 night. He could not speak. He is probably 
 dead now, poor fellow ! If so, I trust that his 
 soul is now with the ' spirits of just men made 
 perfect.' Prayed with some fervour. My past 
 sins strike me now so differently from what they 
 did. Jesus is my only hope. Read and prayed 
 in the evening for an hour and a half with Brunt. 
 
 1 think he is dying. 
 
DIARY. 6t 
 
 "28?A. — Was preserved, in ajisicer to my 
 prayer^ from an evil temper at drill. Ob ! my 
 God, grant it may always be so. Read and 
 prayed with poor Brmit. Four of the 97lh sol- 
 diers came in, and sat down. I have great hopes 
 of all. I was enabled to speak to them pretty 
 freely. 
 
 " August dth. — In a happy frame of mind nearly 
 all day. Went to the levee at two o'clock. Dined 
 with Jones ; talked with him on reUgious sub- 
 jects ; felt a good deal of pride in talking. Oh ! 
 my God, enable me to overcome this, and to feel 
 myself indeed to be but a worthless sinner. 
 
 " lOt/i. — Had happy thoughts of Jesus. Not 
 many wandering thoughts at morning prayer. 
 Showed how far I am from hating sin, by telling 
 with i^leasure of some of my mad acts at Malta to 
 two of my brother officers. 
 
 " IQth. — Still in a torpid state of mind. O 
 God, grant that I am not going back in religion ! 
 How seldom have I this day thought of all Chj^ist 
 has done for me.^ Did not read a chapter this 
 afternoon ; prayer wandering. Read a Psalm 
 with Brunt, but not at all happy in doing so. 
 Read the papers till too late at night, and in 
 evening prayer found my thoughts wandenng. 
 Oh ! my God, give me thy Holy Spirit, or I must 
 fall back to my old state ! Oh ! that I rould 
 rest more entirelj on thee for strength! 
 
 "21s^. — * 4 'i« Read and prayed with 
 
58 DIARY. 
 
 Brunt. "Was enabled to speak to him, but felt 
 how little right I had to speak. 
 
 "23c?. — My mind more tranquil during the 
 day. O God, I thank thee that thou hast an- 
 swered my prayers, and enabled me to fix my 
 heart on my Saviour. May I live for the future 
 to thy glory ! I want to love Christ above all. 
 Read and prayed with Brunt for some time. 
 
 " 24^/i. — My mind more composed to-day than 
 usual. I must have a regular system of reading 
 the Scriptures every day. Psalm in the morning, 
 Gospel in the afternoon, and Epistle in the even- 
 ing. Did T^Tong in the evening in laughing at 
 
 poor . I must give up teasing him, for it is 
 
 unchristian-like. O God, give me thy Holy Spi- 
 rit to enable me to overcome this habit. 
 
 2<dth. — I begin to see more clearly every day 
 the depravity of my heart, and my own utter in- 
 ability to turn to God of myself At the class, in 
 the evening, about fifteen. I went to Dr. Twi- 
 ning's afterwards. SjDoke ill-naturedly of one or 
 two. I would that I could do two things — never 
 speak about myself, and never speak evil ofany one. 
 
 " 21th. — Have had happy thoughts of Christ 
 to-day. Oh ! what cause have I to love Him ! 
 
 God, I would devote myself to thee for ever. 
 
 1 want chiefly grace to look out of myself— to 
 look to Christ alone. , The missionary M'Gordon 
 came to me in the evening. He is a very good 
 man. He talked to me of Christ. 
 
diaHy. 59 
 
 ing. Spoke to Langford and Wilcox ; hope 
 what I said to them may prove, through God's 
 blessing, of some good. I feel that pride is one 
 of my most besetting sins. Oh, that I had a 
 humble spirit ! O God, undeserving as I am, 
 grant me more of thy Holy Sj^irit. 
 
 ''''September 2d. — I have just come from seeing 
 poor Brunt's corpse. I went there to read with 
 liim, and found him in his coffin. Oh, hov/ my 
 heart smote me ! It is ten days since I last read 
 with him. Forgive me, my God, this, and give 
 me thy Holy Spirit to sanctify me more and 
 more for thy service. 
 
 *' Septemher Sth. — Remained in bed till half- 
 past seven. Much troubled with doubts of my 
 being justified and the fear that I am striving to 
 gain heaven. O God, give me thy Holy Spirit, 
 that I may look solely to my Saviour ! Better 
 after prayer. Afraid to talk to my orderly on 
 religion. 
 
 '■''September llth. — Remained in bed till nearly 
 eight o'clock. Oli, how hard it is to do what I 
 know to be right ! Prayed to-day for help from 
 above to enable me to strive more against a 
 growing desire to save myself. O God, enable 
 me to look to the finished work of Jesus. 
 
 '''Saturday. 20th. — Passed the day in a very 
 listless manner — did not, through a sort of fear, 
 go and read with Cranny. Joking too much for 
 
60 DIARY. 
 
 my own happiness and comfort. Read a little of 
 Haweis on the Sacrament. Oh, do thou, Holy 
 Spirit, shine into my heart, and sanctify and pre- 
 pare me for partaking aright of the blessed sa- 
 crament of the body and blood of Christ on Sun- 
 day! 
 
 " Sunday^ 2Qth. — In a very happy frame of 
 mind nearly all day. Went to a prayer-meeting 
 at half-past six o'clock a.m. Partook of the sa- 
 crament ; rather a happy season. I trust I shall 
 keep the vows I made. 
 
 ''^October 19th. — Got up at half-past six. Grie- 
 A^ously distressed with thoughts of my great sins. 
 O God, thou art of purer eyes than to behold 
 my iniquity, yet for thy dear Son's sake forgive 
 me all my sins. I w^ell know their exceeding 
 sinfulness, but the blood of Christ cleanseth me 
 from all sin. ^/^ 
 
 ^'■October 29th. — Kemained in bed till eight 
 o'clock. 3Iust give up this slothfulness. Had 
 not time to read my chapter till twelve o'clock, 
 all owing to love of sleep. At mess scarcely any 
 thoughts of Jesus ; slight symptoms of a desire 
 to return to the w^orld and sin. 
 
 ^^N'ovemberbth. — Kose at seven o'clock. Would 
 til at I could fix my waking thoughts on Jesus I 
 How few are the moments I think of Him to 
 those in which I forget Him ! Walked with 
 Desmond and ISTash. Kirkby wrote me a letter 
 thanking me for bringing him back to trust in 
 
DIARY. 61 
 
 Jesus. He talks of bis sins. Little does he 
 know the sinner he talks to. 
 
 " \5th. — Arose at seven. A few thoughts of 
 Jesus whilst dressing. I would that I had a 
 heart more entirely set on things above ! AYhat 
 a body of sin I carry about ! Received the re- 
 ports of the j\[ic-raac Missionary Society — rather 
 proud at seeing my name in the list of subscri- 
 bers. When shall I conquer this detestable pride ? 
 "When shall I look upon myself as the vilest of 
 sinners, as indeed I am ? 
 
 " IQth. — At the class offered up a few ejacu- 
 latory prayers to Him who seeth in secret. 
 Walked out with Dr. Twining — spoke very pro- 
 fitably together about our precious Saviour. I 
 told him what just came into ray mind, namely, 
 that I lost at Corfu the Bible my mother gave 
 me about seven years ago, and after being about 
 five years without any, I purchased a small one 
 at Jamaica, I think, but of so indistinct a j^rint 
 that I could scarcely read it. I certainly rarely 
 did. O God, may I redeem the time that may 
 yet be left me. I shall keep my diary in another 
 book to-morrow, and make out a few rules to 
 go by." 
 
 The following passa^'e might truly bo called the 
 creed of his heart : 
 
 "I have got over some rough ground since I 
 was first led to seek after happiness, where alono 
 
62 DIARY. 
 
 it can be found, in the religion of Jesus. I have 
 had to battle much against the temptations of the 
 world, the flesh, and the devil ; but though often 
 *on the point of giving up the struggle in despair, 
 tlie goodness, the long-suffering, the Avondrous 
 loving-kindness of my God have guarded and 
 watched over me, and kept me from falling ut- 
 terly away from Him. Oh, what cause have I 
 to give Him most humble and hearty thanks for 
 all his goodness towards me. When I look back 
 on my past life, nearly six and twenty years, I 
 gee nothing but an accumulation of transgression 
 and sin. Oh, my soul, let me remember with 
 disgust and horror that for nearly five and twenty 
 years I was a willing servant of Satan. What 
 aggravates my wickedness is, that it has been all 
 committed in spite of tlie advice and warnings of 
 a truly Christian mother, and how often I have 
 silenced the voice of conscience. But why dwell 
 any more on a life Avhich has been wasted ? Why 
 bring up the remembrance of sins, each one of 
 which would have murdered my soul had I died 
 in the act of commission ? I do it that they may 
 humble and prostrate me in the dust before that 
 holy God who has said, ' the soul that sinneth it 
 shall die.' I acknowledge, O my God, that hell 
 is only my desert — that were I ever consigned to 
 its abode it would be but a just recompense for 
 my transgressions. Let me ever keep in mind 
 that if I am saved it must bo entirely and solely 
 
DIAEY. 63 
 
 tlirongli Divine mercy in Christ Jesus. Were I 
 to be judged according to my works, I should be 
 justly condemned. But thanks be to God for 
 the gift of his precious Word which reveals his 
 wondrous love in sending his only-begotten Son 
 into the world to die for sinners. There I read 
 that Jesus Christ was crucified for me, that he 
 bore in his own body all my sins — that his blood 
 cleanseth from all sin — that He has paid the pen- 
 alty due to sin — that He has satisfied God's in- 
 tense hatred towards sin. Had my salvation 
 depended upon keeping the law I should be with- 
 out hope, for I have broken it thousands of times. 
 But through this man, the Lord Jesus, is preach- 
 ed the forgiveness of sins, and they that believe 
 are justified from all things. Oh, then, let me 
 close with God's free ofter of salvation to all, 
 ' Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou 
 shalt be saved.' Let me look to Christ as my 
 righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. 
 Let me lay aside every weight and the sin which 
 doth so easily beset me, and let me run with pa- 
 tience the race set before me, looking unto Jesus 
 the author and finisher of my faith, working out 
 my own salvation with fear and trembling, re- 
 membering that it is God that worketh in me to 
 will and to do of his good pleasure. I v\"ould 
 from this day give up the remainder of my life to 
 the service of God. I will keep on this diary 
 that I may be able to trace the progress I make 
 
64 DIARY. 
 
 in the Christian life, and I will foithfiiUy put 
 clown everything. I will draw up some rules to 
 enable me the better to devote some portion of 
 each day to God's service. By these I will be 
 guided while I remain in Halifax." 
 
 WINTER. 
 
 "Rise every morning at seven o'clock. Medi- 
 tate on a text whilst dressing. From eight to 
 nine, read a chapter in the Old Testament, and 
 prayer. From nine to ten, breakfast, and read 
 newspaper, or any light book, carefully avoiding 
 novels. From ten to one, orderly room work. 
 From one to half-past two, a chapter in the Gos- 
 pels, and prayer. From half-past two to four, 
 orderly room work. From four to six, exercise, 
 visiting sick people, etc. Offer up a short prayer, 
 before going to mess, that God would keep me 
 from temptation. After dinner, offer up a prayer 
 to God first ; then read books of general interest ; 
 and give an hour to my Bible and prayer before 
 going to bed; and oh, I beseech thee, my heavenly 
 Father, to enable me thus to devote the remain- 
 der of my days to Thee ! May my motto be, 
 ' Not slothful in business, but fervent in spirit, 
 serving the Lord.' 
 
 '-'' N'ovemher 19th. — Kose at seven o'clock. 
 Meditated, whilst dressing, on 'Ye must be born 
 again.' Oh, how happy I am when I can fix my 
 thoughts on Jesus ! Much engaged during the 
 
DIARY. 65 
 
 day m orderly room work. In the afternoon 
 Bpoke, for a short time, to Hylyard. Whilst on 
 my way to the mess, thought on that text, 
 ' There is therefore now no condemnation to 
 them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not 
 after the flesh, but after the Spirit.' During din- 
 ner, rather too much given to le"\dty. Gave a 
 dollar to a district charity. I do not know that 
 I gave it in a right spirit. I know I look too 
 much to what the world may say of me if I do 
 not give. Oh, that I may do all things with a 
 single eye to the glory of God. Evening prayer 
 distracted. Oh, that I could shut out the world ; 
 that I could banish my own evil heart when at 
 prayer ! How sweet would then be my commu- 
 nion with God ! Read 2 Thess. ii. 
 
 " November 20th. — Stayed in bed this morning 
 till twenty minutes past seven. I have broken 
 one of my rules again. I must endeavour to con- 
 quer this slothfulness. Read again John viii. 
 What comfort in reading the Saviour's love and 
 compassion, ' Go, and sin no more.' Jesus, I 
 would hear Thy voice saying to me, ' Go, and sin 
 no more.' My sins have been exceeding great, 
 out they do not exceed Thy love and willingness 
 to pardon. Yet how prone I am to think other- 
 wise. Lord, increase my faith. Read some of 
 Bickersteth's ' Life.' Oh, that I had more of his 
 devotion and love to the Saviour ! I sometimes 
 really doubt whether I believe that Jesus bled 
 
66 DIARY. 
 
 and sufTerecl for me ; for although I have a kind 
 of belief that He did, yet how small my gratitude 
 and love ; how cold and hard my heart ! I have 
 not shed a tear for months ; in fact, I do not 
 think I ever ciied over my sins more than three 
 or four times. 
 
 " N'ovemher 22d. — Endeavoured to meditate, 
 whilst dressing, on ' My soul longeth, yea, even 
 fainteth for the courts of the Lord ; my heart and 
 my flesh crieth out for the living God.' Alas, 
 
 my soul, how different it is with thee ! Mr. 
 
 called to ask me if I Avould become a district 
 visitor, to which I agreed. Met Dr. Twining, 
 on my return from walking, and told him that 
 
 Mr. had asked me to become a visitor. He 
 
 disapproved of it, and said that my duty was to 
 devote my spare time to the soldiers of my regi- 
 m.ent. I feel that I have not been sufficiently 
 earnest in this of late. Oh, let me start once 
 again in the path of my own Christian duty, 
 labouring alone from love to Christ, and praying 
 always for his blessing on whatever I may under- 
 take. Lei me devote all my energies to the 
 work of endeavouring to bring my fellow-sinners 
 and fellow-soldiers unto Jesus; and do Thou, my 
 heavenly father, bless my feeble efforts, and make 
 me the means in Thy hands of bringing many 
 from darkness to light. May I ever feel it a glo- 
 rious privilege to be permitted to raise my voice 
 in the cause of that Saviour whom I have so often 
 
DIARY. 67 
 
 rejected and denied ; and when discouraged by- 
 seeing no good results, let me put foitli in Thee, 
 and in Thy Word, ' Cast thy bread upon the 
 waters, and thou shall find it again after many 
 days.' May I never omit earnest prayer for all 
 those in whom I may perceive any sign of grace, 
 and never despair of the hardest-hearted sinner, 
 remembering what I once was. 
 
 '-'- January 8th, 1853. — Rose at seven. Medi- 
 tated on the words, ' I will hear what God the 
 Lord will speak ; for He will speak peace to his 
 people and to his saints ; but let them not turn 
 again to folly.' May I ever, ever be guided by 
 the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let me wait 
 patiently for His outpouring; then shall I have 
 peace and joy; my soul shall magnify the Lord, 
 and my spirit shall rejoice in God my Saviour. 
 But, oh, let me beware of self-confidence and 
 security. 'Let him that thinketh he standeth 
 take heed lest he fall.' 
 
 " Simday, 9th. — Rose at ten minutes after 
 seven. Text, ' If ye abide in me, and my words 
 abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it 
 shall be done unto you.' What comfort, what 
 consolation ! O Jesns, may I ever rest all my 
 hopes on Thee. May I study to please Thee, 
 and may thy word be my delight. Very happy 
 all day. Was enabled to speak freely with the 
 children at the class. They were more attentive 
 than usual. O Jesus, I would thank Thee for 
 
68 DIAEY. 
 
 having answered my petition. I do not recollect 
 ever being more free from wandering thoughts 
 than on this day. Dr. Twining wrote me a note 
 to say that as he w^as not well, he could not come 
 to the class, but requested me to attend for him. 
 Read 1 Peter ii., and prayed that God would as- 
 sist me to expound it to the men. I felt very 
 nervous about praying before so many — there 
 being about twenty-four present, and several of 
 my brother officers. God did assist me, and I 
 was enabled to pray, I trust, from my heart. 
 
 " 18th. — Spoke to Jackson, of the Grenadiers. 
 I was just kneeling dow^n to jjray, when I re- 
 membered that this was the class day at Dr. 
 Twining' s ; hurried down there, and afterwards 
 
 N and I talked together rather unprofitably, 
 
 and so the day passed by without a prayer since 
 eight o'clock ! This has been the first day, since 
 I made my rules, that I have forgotten to pray 
 at noon as well as at morning and night. O 
 Jesus, forgive me ; and grant that as this is the 
 first, so it may be the last time that I neglect to 
 pray to Thee, the hearer and answ^erer of prayer, 
 
 "23c?. — * * % Lord Jesus, I would give 
 myself up to be led by Thee in all things. Give 
 me greater energy and zeal in the performance 
 of my temporal duties. Enable me to please 
 my Colonel, and yet to please Thee. 
 
 '^ Sunday, A2:>ril 24 fh, 1853. — Heard a very 
 good sermon from 'Whosoever shall be ashamed 
 
DIARY. 69 
 
 of me and my words, of him shall the Son of man 
 be ashamed when He shall come in his own glory, 
 and in his Father's, and of the holy angels.' Oh, 
 does not this but too truly apply to me? Am I 
 not often afraid of confessing Christ before men ? 
 O Jesus, make me to care less for the opinion of 
 man, and more, far more, of what Thou thinkest. 
 Went to hear Mr. Maturin at St. Luke's — a very 
 good sermon and enjoyed it. O Jesus, may the 
 remembrance of my having again approached thy 
 table, and renewed my vows to Thee, cause me 
 to live closer to Thee for the rest of my life ; and 
 do Thou, blessed Spirit, warm this cold heart of 
 
 mme 
 
 |5> 
 
f 0tite. 
 
 •*Tnie to the kindred points of heaven and home." — Wobds-worth, 
 
 The 97tli landed in England in the month of 
 May, 1853, and went into barracks at Walmer. 
 Shortly after his arrival, HedleyYicars wrote the 
 following letter, which is characteristic of the 
 warmth of his gratitude for spiritual benefit : 
 
 TO DK, TWHSriNG. 
 
 "Walmer Barracks, June 8, 1853. 
 "My very Dear Dr. Twining — When I 
 wished you farewell from the deck of the Simoon, 
 I felt that I was parting with my best earthly 
 friend, and although homeward bound I never 
 felt more truly depressed. And, Oh ! what a 
 Sunday, what a contrast to the happy Sabbaths 
 I had passed for the previous eighteen months! 
 I shall never forget it. The band on the poop 
 played lively and profane airs as we sailed out of 
 the harbor. I might have liked it well enough 
 any other day, but then it grated harshly on my 
 
HOME. 71 
 
 ear. My thoughts, however, were in the gar- 
 rison chapel on shore, and I wished that I were 
 sitting in my old seat, listening to the sound of 
 your voice proclaiming pardon and peace through 
 the blood of the cross. 
 
 " Then at the close of the day, instead of our 
 delightful evening class, w^hich we began by rais- 
 ing our voices in praise to our dear Redeemer, 
 loud oaths and imprecations fell unceasingly on 
 the ear ; even in my cabin I could not escape the 
 sound of them. This was the case every Sunday 
 we were on board, excepting that we had a short 
 service in the morning. We had some rough 
 weather, but being a good sailor I did not mind 
 it. I occupied the same cabin with Burton, and 
 we had many serious conversations together on 
 the things belonging to our eternal peace. He 
 always knelt down morning and evening in prayer 
 to his God, and I had every reason to value him 
 as a companion. 
 
 "I think you Avere guilty of saying that I 
 should probably forget you within a month after 
 I left Halifax. You never were more mistaken, 
 for I can assure you I never parted with any man 
 for whom I felt a greater regard and esteem than 
 yourself; and I often look back with pleasing re- 
 collections on the many days and months I have 
 passed in your family. I cannot express the gra- 
 titude I feel towards you as being the instrument 
 in God's hands of my conversion. May He re-- 
 
12 HOME. 
 
 ward you sevenfold. Oh, what would I not give 
 to have met you in my earlier years ; but this 
 perhaps is wrong, for every thing is ordered 
 wisely for us in the counsels of Providence. I 
 do not believe there is a man in the regiment 
 who had plunged deeper in sin and iniquity than 
 he who now writes this against himself. I was 
 in the full career of vice when I arrived in Hali- 
 fax. It was your preaching, brought home with 
 saving power to my heart by the power of the 
 Holy Spirit, which stopped me, and I am, I trust, 
 at length brought out of darkness to light, and 
 from ignorance of God to a knowledge of his 
 ways. I look upon myself as a monument of 
 God's goodness, in that He allovv^ed me time for 
 repentance, and gave me an instructer, and guide 
 — one who was not afraid to confess Christ cru- 
 cified, and to preach faithfully the great truths of 
 the Gospel. I would thank you, my dear Dr. 
 Twining, from the bottom of my heart, for all the 
 good advice and counsel you have ever so kindly 
 given me. I can show my gratitude in one way, 
 and I know you will value it : I have not bent 
 my knees before the throne of grace for many a 
 month without remembering you, nor shall you 
 ever want my poor prayers. I trust that you 
 may be made instrumental in the conversion of 
 many more souls. Continue^ as you have hitherto 
 done^ to know nothing hut Jesus Christ andHim 
 crucified^ and you must he successfid. JVb other 
 
HOME. IS 
 
 preaching loill he of any avails nor afford one ray 
 of comfort to him loho knoics himself to he a lost 
 and undone sinner. 
 
 " I have not time to write more ; we are now 
 quartered at Walmer Barracks, but are to move 
 to the Tower of London early next w^eek, and 
 then to the camp on Chobham Common in July. 
 The Adjutant-General at the inspection praised 
 the appearance of the regiment very muchi 
 
 " Just fancy, I have not yet been able to get 
 leave to see my mother, though I have not seen 
 her for nearly nine years. Give my love to 
 Mrs. Twining. I believe every officer m the 
 regiment feels her attention and motherly kind- 
 ness to poor Jones. May God bless her for it. 
 Give my love also to all your family, and re- 
 member me to my Halifix friends. I enclose a 
 note from Corporal Sweeney. I am glad to say 
 he is getting on very well, also Daim, Ackroyd, 
 Fussell, Young, Bills, and Ilylyard. May God 
 Almighty bless you and all your flimily for Jesus 
 Christ's sake. Ever believe me, my dear Dr. 
 Twining, yours with sincerest esteem and regard, 
 
 " Hedley Yicaes." 
 
 On the same day he responds to the expression 
 of his mother's earnest longing to see his face 
 again, after nine years' separation, in these 
 words : 
 
 "It gives me much pain, my own dearest 
 
 n 
 
Y4 HOME. 
 
 mother, to be obliged again to disappoint you, 
 but it cannot be helped ; so I beseech you not to 
 fret yourself on my account. Your letters breathe 
 such love and anxiety to see me, that I feel half 
 inclined to desert ! ! 
 
 "I am delighted to hear that your health is 
 good. God grant that it may long continue so. 
 I want to kno^y whether you find from experi- 
 ence that your love to Christ now is less warm, 
 less palpable to yourself than when you wei-e first 
 converted ? I feel that it is so with me — at least 
 that I have not a crucified Saviour ever before me 
 as I once had ; and I do not feel so much anxiety 
 as I once did for the souls around me. Then, 
 again, at times, I parley with the tempter by 
 listening to his suggestions instead of casting 
 them from me at the onset. But Jesus died for 
 ME. I trust, by the grace of God, that the devil 
 will never be able to induce me to give up this 
 precious truth." 
 
 Their happy meeting followed soon afterwards. 
 The long-desired leave came at last, and on the 
 evening of the 15th of June, he arrived unex- 
 pectedly at home whilst his family were at church 
 attending a week-day service. The joy of that 
 meeting was one with which a stranger inter- 
 meddleth not. 
 
 To the family and friends of Hedley Yicars, the 
 year which followed his return home was one of 
 
HOME. ^^5 
 
 interest and happiness of no common kind. The 
 heart of his widowed mother " sang for joy" as 
 she marked " the exceeding grace of God in 
 him," and his sisters and brothers found him to be 
 at once a cheerful companion, a faithful friend, 
 and a w^ise adviser. The time of his leave was 
 chiefly spent at Terling Place, Essex, the seat 
 of his brother-in-law, Lord Rayleigh, w^hose 
 brotherly kindness and Christian love made his 
 house truly a home to Hedley Vicars. 
 
 Here he enjoyed the unreserved interchange 
 of warm affection wnth every member of his 
 family. He shared his sisters' pursuits with ani- 
 mated interest. They walked and rode together, 
 or he read to them from his favourite authors. 
 But their music was his chief enjoyment : 
 
 " When in the all-golden afternoon 
 A guest or happy sister sung, 
 Or here she brought the harp and flung 
 A ballad to the brightening moon. 
 
 " Nor less it pleased in livelier mood 
 Beyond the bounding hills to stray, 
 And break the livelong summer day 
 "With banquet in the distant wood." 
 
 His sunshiny temper and buoyant spirits made 
 him the idol of his sister's children, and endless 
 was the number of stories which entranced his 
 young auditors in the long summer twilight or by 
 the cheerful winter fireside. Stories improvised 
 
76 HOME. , 
 
 for the occasion, concerning .wandering adven- 
 turers in " foreign parts," or dead lieroes of by- 
 gone wars — leaders of forlorn hopes, who tri- 
 umped over unheard of difficulties, and died 
 amidst unimaginable successes. The very sight 
 of his face seemed a signal for cheerfulness. 
 
 He walked in the glorious liberty of the sons 
 of God, and with the free heart of a child en- 
 joyed every pleasure in the gift of which he 
 could trace his Father's hand ; yet was there 
 still the evidence in his daily life of a chastened 
 and sobered spirit, and of his stedfast obedience 
 to his Master's word, " Watch and Pray." 
 
 With the thankful approbation of the Vicar 
 of Terling, whose gifted and faithful ministry he 
 greatly valued, Hedley Vicars visited the sick 
 and aged poor of the village. They all loved 
 him, but with the old women he was an especial 
 favourite. His courteous manners, worn as much 
 for them as if each had been a Queen Dowager, 
 won his way to their hearts at once, and gained 
 a willing hearing for the message he loved to 
 bear. 
 
 " Everywhere he was followed by affection 
 and respect," writes one* whose graceful sketch 
 of his brief history has already appeared in tho 
 pages of a religious periodical. " There was no 
 mistaking the spirit of the Christian in the manly 
 independence, the genuine humility, the open, ua- 
 * Rev. T. D. Bernard, Vicar of Terliu2r. 
 
HOME. 77 
 
 selfish heart, and the shigleness of purpose which 
 ever seemed to say, ' One thing have I desired — • 
 one thing I do.' " 
 
 But chiefly did he delight in speaking of the 
 tilings which belonged to their everlasting peace, 
 to those who were nearest and dearest to his 
 heart. 
 
 " It was something so very new and precious," 
 said the sister who had been the chief friend of 
 his boyhood, and had maintained the most fre- 
 quent correspondence with him in his long ab- 
 sence, " to have a tender brother who gave one 
 the loving protection of a father, and the faithful 
 counsel of a friend." Daily did they gather 
 round him for the study of the Word of God, 
 and after the nightly farewells to the drawing- 
 room circle, he met his mothers and sisters again 
 for holy conversation and prayer. 
 
 Precious, indeed, must have been those too 
 fleeting hours of unreserved fellowship of hearts, 
 dimly foreshadowing a more lasting and perfect 
 communion yet to be. 
 
 That this tender -interest in their best welfare 
 was sustained in absence, will be seen by his let- 
 ters written at this period : 
 
 TO 5IISS VICAES. 
 
 ""Walmer, July 4th, 1853. 
 " My Dearest Mary — I received your letter 
 on Friday last, and began to answer it yesterday, 
 
78 HOME. 
 
 but could not finish it. O, my beloved sister, 
 how I love to hear you sj^eak about Christ ; and 
 what comfort, what cause for abundant gratitude 
 to our heavenly Father, ought each of us to find 
 in the cheering belief that we are knit together 
 in the blood-bought bonds of the Saviour's love ; 
 that our hearts, wayward, changeable, naturally 
 evil (as they ever will be here), have been made 
 the temples of the Holy Ghost ; that they have 
 been renewed by his blessed influence, and that 
 the work of sanctification is now going on within 
 them, making us meet for the inheritance which 
 our dear Redeemer has purchased for us ! 
 
 "I am sure many Christians deprive themselves 
 of much real benefit and assistance by withhold- 
 ing communion with each other. We cannot ex- 
 pect to reach perfection in righteousness, dearest 
 Mary ; but, whilst humbling ourselves in the dust 
 for our manifold iniquities, let us often, by coun- 
 sel and persuasion, urge each other to put on a 
 cheerful courage, and to run with patience the 
 race set before us, never forgetting to look to 
 Jesus, the Alpha and Omega t)f our hopes. 
 
 " Oh, that we all felt more delight in speaking 
 of the unbounded love of Him who was crucified 
 for us ! Let us alwavs endeavour to be looking: 
 for the coming of Christ Jesus ; and then when 
 He does come in the clouds, with the glory and 
 majesty of a sovereign, we shall be found amongst 
 them who love His aj^pearing. 
 
HOME. 79 
 
 " O my sweet sister, what are we that God 
 should single us out from the millions that are 
 still living without Him in the world ; that He 
 should cause us to believe the precious truths re- 
 vealed in the Gospel of his dear Son, which are 
 foolishness to the natural man, but to us (and to 
 all believers) are the wisdom of God and the 
 power of God. Let us pray often for each other. 
 The affection that prompts to this is love indeed. 
 
 "My love to all. Clara and Edward are at 
 Chobham, I suppose. Tell Clara, she cannot 
 feel more sorry than I am, that I could not get 
 leave to be able to meet her 'there. Tell Lord 
 Rayleigh, with my love, that I sent my groom 
 off this morning at six o'clock for the mare, and 
 will write when she comes, to let him know how 
 I like her. 
 
 " Ever, my darling little sister, 
 
 " Your most attached brother, 
 
 "Hedley Yicaes." 
 
 Part of the months of July and August were 
 passed in Camp at Chobham. He thus graphi- 
 cally described its scenes to his youngest sister : — 
 
 " CHOBHAil August llth. 
 
 " * * * I think you would laugh if you 
 saw me in my bell tent, sitting on a camp stool, 
 at a box with four legs to represent a table. The 
 furniture of my roo7n consists of a camp bedstead, 
 portmanteau, and tub. 
 
80 HOME. 
 
 "I have plenty of straw, but it is rather 
 mouldy ! My servant endeavoured to get up a 
 small garden in front, but I fear the shrubs must 
 have been minus roots, for they seem in a very 
 sickly s'.ate, as if the soil of Chobham did not 
 agree with them ! 
 
 " I spent a very pleasant day on Thursday. 
 Uncle Edward* gave me a ticket for the Naval 
 Keview at Spithead. I went, with about two hun- 
 dred officers from the Camp. We had a large 
 steamer to ourselves, and consequently were able 
 to see everything. It was a very grand and im- 
 posing spectacle : but you have seen the whole 
 account in the papers, so I will not describe it. 
 
 " The Camp is to be broken up next Saturday, 
 when we are to proceed to Canterbury. I shall 
 not be sorry to be once more settled in quarters, 
 as I find it difficult in this place to obtain those 
 seasons of retirement for holding communion 
 with my heavenly Father, which are so necessary 
 to the keeping alive of religion in the soul." 
 
 In the month of August, not without regret, 
 he resigned the Adjutancy of his regiment, in 
 consequence of circumstances which need not be 
 mentioned here. His best friends not only fully 
 justified him in taking this step, but valued him 
 the more for the reasons which led to it. 
 
 * Colonel Yicars, R. E., who commanded the Engineers 
 at Chol)ham. 
 
HOME. 81 
 
 In the following letter, be alludes briefly to bis 
 painful feelings on tbis occasion : 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "August, 1854. 
 
 " My Deaeest Mother — * ♦ * j remem- 
 ber well tbe unenviable state of my feelings, wbilst 
 stretcbed on tbe straw, witb notbing to. disturb 
 me but tbe tramp of tbe sentry in front of my 
 tent door. I fancied myself deserted by every 
 one, even by my God. I cannot tell you wbat I 
 suffered tben. At last I tbougbt, ' Oh, for some 
 Cbristian friend to converse Avitb me !' Just tben 
 I beard a voice saying, ' Mr. Vicars, are you at 
 bome?' I jumped up, and saw a Mr. Rigby, a 
 bome missionary, wliom I bad seen in tbe tent on 
 Sundays. I invited bim in, and we sat side by 
 side on tbe straw for more than an bour, con- 
 versing on tbose deligbtful subjects, tbe Sinner's 
 Friend and tbe Cbristian's Home. Ob, tbe com- 
 fort of meeting witb a child of God, when Satan 
 has been assaulting you and tempting you to de- 
 spair! We knelt on tbe ground, and leaning 
 against tbe tent-pole, prayed together. Wbat a 
 soothing influence has prayer over tbe soul! 
 But it is the Holy Spirit who prompts us ; and 
 to Him be all the glory. 
 
 " A Cbristian has certainly bis moments of bit- 
 terness and anguish ; but I v/ould not change 
 even these for the world's moments of jollity 
 
82 HOME. 
 
 and mirth. The former generally precede happy 
 hours of peace and cahn ; and the latter, T know, 
 end in trouble and remorse. 
 
 " ' 'Tis religion that can give 
 
 Sweetest pleasures whilst we live ; 
 'Tis religion must supply 
 Solid comfort when we die.' 
 
 " When on guard I was struck with a proof 
 that God is no respecter of persons, and has his 
 own people in every class. I saw two miserable, 
 Mi-etched-looking men, picking up pieces of rag, 
 as I thought, in front of the guard tents ; after 
 they had collected several, they sat down. I 
 went to them, and found they were collecting 
 bits of meat and biscuit, which had been thrown 
 away by the men after their dinner, and were 
 covered with dirt. These they ate ravenously. 
 I got them some clean meat and a loaf of bread, 
 and conversed with them for about ten minutes. 
 
 " They seemed surprised at an officer, in ' such 
 fine clothes,' talking to them about Christ. One 
 of them had been a stoker on a railway, who had 
 been run over by a train, which had smashed his 
 foot and hand. Yet he could talk with delight 
 of the mercy of God his Saviour, and of his good- 
 ness and forbearance. Who knows but that I 
 may meet and recognise those poor fellows in 
 heaven ? 
 
 " We started from camp on Saturday morning 
 
HOME. 88 
 
 at five o'clock, and marched to Working station, 
 distant about five miles from Chobham. Dming 
 a half-hour's halt on the road, I fell to nutting, as 
 nuts were plentiful in the hedges, and back went 
 my thoughts to the days of my boyhood. 
 
 "•We are now quartered at Canterbury. On 
 Sunday evening I went to Mr. Lee Warner's 
 church, and heard a beautiful sermon, from 
 ' Enoch walked with God, and was not, for God 
 took him.' A brother officer of mine told me 
 that he went to a church which was decked out 
 just like a Roman Catholic chapel, and the minis- 
 ter, in urging the necessity of good works, stated 
 that they, and they alone, could bring a man 
 peace of mind at the last. The name of Jesus 
 w\as only mentioned once. It is grievous that 
 those who preach ' another gospel' (Gal. i. 8) 
 should be permitted to remain in the Church, to 
 misguide and deceive. Let us thank God that we 
 have not so learned Christ ; and that instead of 
 trusting to, or attaching any degree of merit to 
 our own righteousness, which is but as filthy 
 rags, we can look to Jesus as our wisdom, right- 
 eousness, sanctification,, and redemption." 
 
 A short leave in September enabled him to 
 gpend a few days with his mother at Southend. 
 Those days were chiefly passed on the water, 
 where he exercised the somewhat renowned 
 prowess of his strong arm in rowing, whilst hia 
 
84 HOME. 
 
 mother accompanied him in the boat, and they 
 took sweet counsel together. Well does she love 
 to linger m saddened remembrance over those 
 hours of delight, which can return to her on 
 eartli no more for ever. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 " My Darling Mother — I left you yesterday 
 with no slight feelings of regret, as you might 
 easily imagine if you had ever been a son. I 
 agree with G., that there is but little of ' the real 
 thing' in tlie world, and therefore a man values a 
 'motlier''s love the more. 
 
 " At the railway station I met two of my bro- 
 ther officers returning from leave, to rejoin the 
 regiment. We had the carriage to ourselves, 
 and I occupied myself in reading Hugh White's 
 ' Sermons on the Second Advent.' I hesitated to 
 bring it out for some time, lest they should ask 
 me what I was reading, but overcame at last this 
 wretched false shame. I suppose they guessed 
 pretty well what sort of a book I had in hand, 
 8nd so went off to sleep without taking the trou- 
 ble to inquire. 
 
 " Cay came to my room at night, and we had a 
 pleasant conversation together. We read Ro- 
 mans viii., and prayed. I felt very happy then ; 
 but after "he left, about eleven o'clock, I fell asleep 
 whilst praying by myself I know my Saviour 
 has forgiven me ; but I really cannot well forgive 
 
HOME. 85 
 
 myself, and feel much pain at the recollection of 
 my slothfulness and irreverence. When I awoke 
 this morning I was enabled to pray fervently for 
 you, dearest mother, and for Clara, Mary, Geor- 
 gie, and Edward, individually/ I know no greater 
 happiness than that which earnest prayer brings 
 to the heart, when, undisturbed by Avandering 
 thoughts, we can behold our crucified Redeemer, 
 and hear his voice pleading for us before the 
 mercy-seat. ^' 
 
 " To-day I called on Captain Ingram, and en- 
 joyed a walk with him. He is a truly Christian 
 man. I have just been reading Haweis' ' Spirit- 
 ual Companion to the Lord's Supper.' I have 
 not partaken of that blessed feast since I was at 
 Terling, but trust to do so next Sunday, please 
 God. May that holy sacrament call to my mind 
 in more vivid remembrance the great evil of sin ; 
 for never was it seen so forcibly as when written 
 in a Saviour's agony and bloody sweat, and in his 
 cross and passion." 
 
 TO LADY EAYLEIGH. 
 
 "There is much in the signs of the times to 
 make us beheve that the Redeemer's advent is 
 near. It may be we shall not taste of death, but 
 be caught up to meet the Lord in the air. Be- 
 loved sister, let us live in hourly expectation of 
 that solemn yet joyful event. Let us judge of 
 our own state by the happiness the thought gives 
 
86 HOME. 
 
 Tis, and not rest satisfied until the language of our 
 hearts shall be, ' Even so come, Lord Jesus.' 
 
 " I cannot tell you how much happiness I find 
 in the society of our dearest mother. I can see 
 her ripening for glory, and have already derived 
 much benefit from our intercourse and commu- 
 nion. My leave lasts till the 31st of December; 
 and I shall spend most of the time with her in 
 London." 
 
71. 
 
 "By friendship I suppose j'ou mean the greatest love, and the great- 
 est usefulness, and the most open communication, and the noblest 
 sufferings, and the most exemplary faithfulness, and the severest truth, 
 and the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which 
 brave men and women are capable." — Jeremy Tayloe. 
 
 Hitherto it is from the testimony of others 
 that this imperfect oiitHne has been given of the 
 life and character of Heclley Vicars. But now it 
 was to be our happy privilege to gather from 
 personal observation, and in the enjoyment of no 
 common Christian friendship, the blessed proofs 
 of how exceeding abundant was the grace of 
 Christ towards him. 
 
 In the month of October of the same year, my 
 father, my sister, and I were renewing a friend- 
 ship of former days by a visit to Terling-place. 
 A letter was received on the morning of the 11th 
 by Lady Rayleigh, promising a visit from her 
 brother, which caused such a tumult of joyous 
 excitement at the breakfast-table, and so much 
 
68 rPJENDSHIP. 
 
 eliouiing and clapping of hands amongst the chil- 
 dren, as soon as the news was made known to 
 them, that, in my ignorance, I supposed the 
 young soldier had only just arrived from Nova 
 Scotia. At dinner that day he was beside me. 
 Not knowing anything of his character, I ven- 
 tured rather cautiously at first, on subjects one 
 would fain have the faithful courage to speak of 
 to every fellow-creature. At the first touch of 
 the chord, his pleasant countenance lighted up, 
 and his eyes glistened as I told him of a remark- 
 able instance of the grace of God connected with* 
 my father's first sermon. 
 
 On his renewing the conversation in the even- 
 ing, I said, half-inquiringly, "These subjects seem 
 to have an interest for you ?" 
 
 " Nothing in the world is worth calling inte- 
 resting by their side," he answered, with a fervour 
 which told its ov/n story ; and then gave me an 
 outline of the manner in which God had worked 
 the great change in his own soul. With forceful 
 simplicity he told the point of the story ; how 
 the words, " The blood of Jesus Christ his Son 
 cleanseth us from all sin," became the sheet- 
 anchor of his soul ; adding, " Thus was I born 
 again of the Word of God, which liveth and 
 abideth for ever." 
 
 The next day he walked with my f tlier about 
 the gardens ; and it was j^leasant to ,ee the aff*ec- 
 tion which at once sprung up between the " ve- 
 
 1 
 
FRIENDSHIP. 89 
 
 teran of the cross" and the young soldier of the 
 cross and of his country. 
 
 From that visit we date a friendship whicli 
 cannot be replaced on earth, and the prolonged 
 enjoyment of which is reserved for heaven. 
 
 Early in November he spent a few days with 
 us at Beckenham, and the visit proved to us in- 
 deed " a time of refreshing." On the Sabbath he 
 taught twice in the school, and between the 
 afternoon and evening services visited a stranger 
 afflicted with paralysis, then lodging in the vil- 
 lage ; a man of considerable intellectual cultiva- 
 tion, inquiring after truth, but fettered by a long 
 habit of scepticism. For him the singleness, ho- 
 nesty, and fervour of Hedley Vicars' character had 
 a peculiar charm. The few strong, earnest words 
 which he said in explanation of a passage of Scrip- 
 ture, and the simplicity and reality of his prayer, 
 produced an impression which was never effaced, 
 and was deepened by every succeeding visit. 
 
 After the schoolroom service, he addressed and 
 prayed with several Railway men, then working 
 at the Crystal Palace grounds, who assembled for 
 a " cottage reading" every Sunday evening, and 
 conducted the little service with them on the 
 following evening in the servants' hall at the Rec- 
 tory. The next day he v\ ent to read and pray 
 with a Roman Catholic who was then seriously 
 ill, and saw him again, once or oftener, on each 
 succeeding visit to us. 
 
90 FRIENDSHIP. 
 
 jN"©! many weeks after the news of Captain 
 Vicars' death had spread a general sorrow over 
 Beckenhani, this man expressed a wish to attend 
 one of the evening cottage readings. " I have 
 thought so much of the Bible," he said, " since 
 Captain Vicars told me what it was to him, and 
 how those words about the blood of the Lord 
 Jesus gave him peace." 
 
 On the day just referred to, he met at dinner 
 a young naval officer, who was then at the outset 
 of his Christian course. It seemed to be the 
 easiest thing possible for Hedley Vicars to fall in 
 with the current of those first fresh feelings, and 
 to show where lay the rocks and quicksands to 
 be avoided. The union of becoming seriousness 
 with perfect ease and simplicity in his religious 
 conversation seldom failed to engage the interest 
 of tliose who met him. His genuine humility, 
 combined, as it was, with manly frankness and a 
 cheerful, spirited address, gave a charm to all 
 that he said. 
 
 But the thing which distinguished him from 
 the generality even of other Christians, was the 
 close, personal, friendhke knowledge he possessed 
 of his Saviour. " Some of his expressions, in 
 conversation and correspondence," remarked one 
 of his friends, " almost startled me into the 
 inquiry, Is it only a difference in degree, or 
 wholly a difference in kind, from these faint 
 prayers of mine, when he speaks as if he had not 
 
FEIENDSHIP. ^ 
 
 only spoken to his Saviour, but had been an- 
 swered back again by a Uving friend ?" 
 
 Before his next visit to us, we met him several 
 times in London. There we found him teaching 
 in Lord Shaftesbury's Ragged Schools, visiting 
 repentant thieves, and diving into the depths of 
 metropolitan wretchedness with city missionaries. 
 Love to the crucified Saviour, who had. loved 
 him and given Himself for him, constrained this 
 young soldier of Christ to consecrate every power 
 as a living sacrifice to God. The sense of duty, 
 always strong, doubly so in his renewed nature, 
 seemed again almost lost in his high and deep 
 sense of the privilege of such a service, and in a 
 yearning desire to bring others to rejoice with 
 himself in a free pardon through the blood of the 
 Lamb. 
 
 TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTEK. 
 
 " Much do I wish that I had taken more ad- 
 vantage of our being together to have spoken 
 to you on the great subject. What I want is to 
 persuade you that there is reality in religion, 
 and that true happiness is to be found in it, 
 and in it alone. Give your heart to Christ, 
 my darling sister, and you will never repent 
 your choice. Let us pray earnestly that we 
 may be delivered from the power of sin, that 
 our evil tempers may be mortified and subdued, 
 and that we may more closely resemble our Re- 
 deemer. * * * 
 
92 FRIENDSHIP. 
 
 " When I left you, or rather you left me, I 
 proceeded to search for the London Reformatory 
 for Thieves, in Smith-street, Westminster ; and 
 after going through it, I offered to say a few 
 words to the inmates about the Saviour of sin- 
 ners. Just then, however, their attendance was 
 required at a public meeting, which was opened 
 by Lord Shaftesbury. Their ' hall' is but a small 
 one, so not many people could be present. The 
 reformed thieves numbered about a hundred and 
 twenty. I must say that T felt strongly inclined 
 to mxake a muff of myself when they sang the 
 anthem, 'I will aiise and go to my Father.' 
 When they had finished, I was obliged to leave, 
 not to lose the train." 
 
 Soon after his second visit to us, I received the 
 following letter : 
 
 " Terling-Place, December 15. 
 
 " JMy Dear Fkiexd — In answer to your kind 
 and encouraging letter, I cannot begin otherwise 
 than by thanking Plhn ' v.'ho ordereth all things,' 
 for his goodness in having so providentially led 
 me to Terling at the time you v>'ere there, and 
 thus a friendship was formed wliich, I trust, will 
 last for ever. In every blessing I receive, I 
 would raise my heart in gratitude and praise to 
 that God who has poured such mercies upon me. 
 
 "In this, my first letter to you, I would be 
 candid and unreserved. I do not wish to be 
 
FEIEXDSHIP. 93 
 
 thought better than I am, but rather desh-e to 
 be looked upon as but a i oung soldier in Christ. 
 When I bring to remembrance the years I have 
 spent in sin, when I gloried in being the ring- 
 leader in every species of dissipation and folly, 
 the thought has struck me that it were presump- 
 tuous in me now to rank myself amongst the fol- 
 lowers of the Lamb. But in doing so, I would 
 only conceal my un worthiness in the spotless robe 
 of my Redeemer's perfect righteousness, 
 
 *' Notwithstanding the advantages of Christian 
 education and godly parents, the dictates of rea- 
 son and the remorse of conscience, I lived for 
 many years in total forgetfulness of a death-bed 
 and a judgment day. But that God, who might 
 so justly have cut me off in the full career of re- 
 bellion, at length (and oh ! how feebly can I ex- 
 press my sense of his goodness) opened my eyes ; 
 and that stubborn heart, which neither the ter- 
 rors of hell could deter nor the v.^-ath of God 
 restrain from recklessly pursuing the path of 
 destruction, He softened and changed by show, 
 ing me the love and tenderness I was despising 
 and trampling under foot. I can never forget 
 the intensity of my feelings when first I saw my 
 Saviour on the cross, nor the flood of joy which 
 burst in upon my soul when I read in his flowing 
 blood full pardon for all that was past. 
 
 " Years have gone by since then, but I have 
 been preserved by his grace and kept by his 
 
94 FRIENDSHIP. 
 
 power from falling away, and thus dishonouring 
 the Christian profession. I need scarcely tell 
 you that I have never had cause to repent the 
 transfer of my allegiance from the Destroyer to 
 the Saviour of men. Surely, having been for- 
 given so much I ought to love much, and unite 
 with others in making known the Redeemer's 
 love to those who are ignorant and out of the 
 way. And what a balm for the weary and heavy- 
 laden, what a cure for the guilty is offered alike 
 to all in the Gospel of Christ ! And oh, what 
 a glorious truth when brought home to the anx- 
 ious heart by the Holy Spirit — what a sweet and 
 precious doctrine is there set forth! Full and 
 FREE forgiveness, perfect acceptance and assured 
 reconciUation with God ; and this already effected 
 by Divine mercy, and sealed with the sufferings 
 and death of the Son of God. 
 
 " Mr. 's letter delighted me much. I thank 
 
 God for the good work which has been so evi- 
 dently begun in Ids heart. (Oh that every sol- 
 dier and sailor knew the love of Christ !) I have 
 already prayed for him more than once, and 
 trust that the oftener I do so the more fervent 
 may be my petitions. Such wonderful answers 
 as you have had to prayer for the souls of others 
 will, I trust, lead me (and you too) more fre- 
 quently to the Throne of Grace, and to rely more 
 implicitly upon the promise of Him who changeth 
 not. ' If any two of you shall agree upon earth 
 
FRIENDSHIP. 96 
 
 touching anything that ye shall ask, it shall be 
 granted you of my Father which is in heaven.' 
 
 "My leave is rapidly drawing to a close; on 
 the 31st I rejoin my regiment. Perhaps we shall 
 not meet again for a long time. Be this as it 
 may, I can never forget my friends at Becken- 
 ham, hor the happy days I have spent with them. 
 
 *' I shall have much pleasure in calling on Ma- 
 jor Halkett as soon as I am at Canterbury. The 
 manuscript account of Dr. Reeve's illness and 
 death I will leave at Miss Leycester's as I pass 
 through London. It has deeply interested me. 
 May you have many such crowns of rejoicing in 
 the day 'w^hen the Lord Jesus shall come to 
 make up his jewels.' 
 
 " Give my affectionate and grateful regards to 
 Dr. Marsh. What a bright and noble specimen 
 is he of the Christian soldier — the veteran of the 
 Cross ; and what an encouragement is it to those 
 who are only ' beginners,' to see such a proof of 
 the reality of religion, and its transforming power 
 in the heart and life. Give my Christian love to 
 all, and remember me to the sick man whom I 
 went to see. Tell him that I pray for him, and 
 trust that his fears and doubts may soon be dis- 
 pelled, and that he may be enabled to rejoice in 
 God his Saviour. 'Looking unto Jesus' is the 
 secret of peace. 
 
 " In bringing this long letter to a close, might 
 I ask you to pray for me ! God bless you, and 
 
93 FKIENDSHIP. 
 
 make your efforts abundantly successful in bring- 
 ing sinners to a Saviour, shall be the humble 
 prayer of your grateful and sincere friend, 
 
 " Hedley Yicars." 
 
 During the illness of my sister in January, 
 1854, we felt the full value of his Christian 'sym- 
 pathy. Earnestly did he pray for her recovery, 
 and thankfully rejoiced with us in the answer 
 Avhich God gave to our prayers. 
 
 Before our anxiety was over, he was seeking 
 kindred help from us. A severe attack of illness 
 under which his mother was suffering weighed 
 heavily on his heart, though it did not shackle 
 the freeness and almost daily communication of 
 his Christian sympathies. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 " Earnestly have I prayed, dearest, best of 
 mothers, that as is thy day so may thy strength 
 be. What a blessed comfort it is that we have 
 an open Bible within reach when struck down by 
 sickness or affliction ; for at such dark seasons, if 
 it were not for that precious book, we might 
 doubt that ' God is love.' But surely there is 
 balm for every woe there. ' All things work to- 
 gether for good to them that love God.' ' That 
 which we know not now we shall know hereafter.' 
 "When Job, complaining of his friends' cruelty, 
 declared his misery to them and besought them 
 
FKiENDsnir. 97 
 
 to have pity upon him, for the hand cf God had 
 touched him, suddenly he finds comfort else- 
 where, and in joyous triumph exclaims, ' Oh that 
 my words were 7iow written ! Oh that they 
 were printed in a book, that they were graven 
 with an iron pen in the rock for ever — -for I 
 know that my Redeemer liveth /' " 
 
 A letter to his eldest sister, a few days after- 
 wards, expressed the overflowings of his thankful 
 heart for the mercy of his mother's restoration. 
 Towards its close, he thus wrote : 
 
 " Let us earnestly pray for each other that we 
 may have that vitality and love which a seen 
 and accejjted Christ alone can kindle within our 
 hearts. We must watch and pray, lest the 
 things of this Vv^orld draw off our hearts from the 
 one thing needful, and make us forget that here 
 we have no continuing city. But though we are 
 weak, Christ is strong , and his strength is made 
 perfect in our weakness. Let us look to our in- 
 carnate God, who, for the joy that was set be- 
 fore Him, endured the cross and despised the 
 shame. 
 
 " Now, to tell you some news of my daily life. 
 On Wednesday I drove out with Major Halkett, 
 4th Light Dragoons, to Chilham Castle, and we 
 had pleasant religious conversation on our way. 
 The castle crowns the hill of the village of Chil- 
 ham, and looks very old. Mr. Wildman was not 
 9 
 
98 FRIENDSHIP. 
 
 at home, bat we saw Mrs. AVildman. She is a 
 dehghtful Christian. How invigorating it is to 
 meet with such. She took us to see the old 
 church. Some of the epitaphs in the churchyard 
 were very absurd. An old lady signifies to the 
 world that she ' died fully persuaded of the many 
 virtues of her dear husband ;' and others were of 
 similar import. The park and the views from it 
 are beautiful. We drove back well pleased witl \ 
 our visit. 
 
 " On Thursday I was dining with a nice family, 
 four miles from Canterbury, and met a large 
 party. I noticed opposite to me a very pleasant- 
 looking fellow, and was struck with his quiet, 
 calm manner and countenance. 
 
 " After we had adjourned to the drawing-room, 
 I asked him if he belonged to the Army prayer- 
 union ? and when he said, ' Yes,' we became 
 friends at once. He said 'There is a man in the 
 97th whom I want to know ; his name is Vicars.' 
 I replied, 'There is a man in the Rifle Brigade 
 whom I want to know ; it is Captain Hammond.'* 
 We were at each other's service ! 
 
 * Captain Maximilian Hammond, Rifle Brigade. This 
 brave and Christian young oflBcer fell in the Redan, whilst 
 " making a pathway for his men," in the final assault on 
 Sebastopol, September 8, 1855 — honored and beloved by all 
 who knew him. Paithful unto death, in the service of the 
 King of kings, as in his duty to his Queen and country, ho 
 has received, we doubt not, a crown of glory ^vhich fadeth 
 not away. 
 
FEIENDSHIP. 99 
 
 " On Saturday lie came to call upon me, and 
 stayed for some time. He is a delightful fellow. 
 I sent for Cay and we had a happy time of com- 
 munion together. * * * It is a great bless- 
 ing having such a brother officer as Cay. He is 
 one of a thousand. We often walk together, and 
 he generally comes up to ray barrack-room after 
 mess, and we read the Bible, converse about 
 heavenly things, and end in prayer." 
 
 " Canteeburt, Monday Morning. 
 
 " My Dear Friexd — As my last hurried note 
 was indeed but a poor apology for a letter, I 
 must write a few lines to day. ' They that feared 
 the Lord spake often one to another ;' and what 
 time more fitting and appropriate in which to ex- 
 press the thoughts of our hearts towards Jesus, 
 than just after the sweet and refresliing enjoy- 
 ment of his day ? For when is the fragrant dew 
 of his Holy Spirit poured so largely on our souls 
 as on those days of ' heaven upon earth ?' 
 
 "I remember, alas! too well, the time when I 
 dreaded the return of Sunday, and considered it 
 both dull and tedious, but now surely no day is 
 so cheering and delightful, and there is none 
 that passes away so quickly. I recollect, that for 
 several months, the only inward sanctifying proof 
 I could, on examination, bring to assure myself 
 that I had indeed been made an ' heir of Christ, 
 was this longing desire for the Lord's-day. 
 
100 FRIENDSHIP . 
 
 " You will be surprised to hear tliat I (a red- 
 hot Protestant !) vrent to the Roman Catholic 
 chapel yesterday morning. Yes ! but it was only 
 as Protestant officer, in charge of the Roman 
 Catholic soldiers. The weather was raw, bleak, 
 and damp — fit emblem of th'3 service, which was 
 formal, dreary, and icy cold, I felt very much 
 oppressed, and sick at heart, as I thought of the 
 poor misguided, deluded men who knelt around ; 
 even keeping silence was wearisome to me, for I 
 longed to speak to them of Jesus, and bid them 
 look to the Lamb of God, the Saviour of sinners. 
 I thought to myself, too, while listening to a 
 mere moral essay, ' and is it to such a man you 
 confess your sins, and forget Jesus, the Sinner's 
 Friend ? thus flying to ' broken cisterns,' wdien 
 the living fountain is ever near.' I returned 
 home, feehng quite wretched. It was too late to 
 go to church, but I enjoyed a happy season in 
 my barrack-room, when I did not forget you and 
 all your friends, including the navvies! I went 
 in the afternoon to Mr. White's church, where I 
 heard an excellent sermon from the words, ' Put 
 ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not pro- 
 vision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof;' 
 and again in the evening, when Mr, Lee Warner 
 preached most powerfully on the text, 'I know 
 that my Redeemer liveth, and that He shall 
 stand in the latter day upon the earth, and 
 though after my skin, w^orms destroy this body, 
 
FELENDSHIP. 101 
 
 yet in my flesli shall I see God, whom I shall see 
 for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not 
 another.' Is it not a wonderful prophecy ? and 
 how overflowmg wath comfort and consolation 
 for us. With such a bright vision unfolded to 
 the believer, the ' captive exile may well hasten to 
 be free.' 
 
 " I met Major Halkett, on coming out of 
 church, and we walked home together. I had a 
 very pleasant conversation with him. He seems 
 to have the cause of Christ at heart, and to be 
 anxious to know moi*e of the Saviour, experi- 
 mentally. He asked me to drink tea with him ; 
 and I then saw Mrs. Halkett for the first time, as 
 she was ill when I called. We spent a happy 
 and profitable evening. I like them both very 
 much. 
 
 " I had a delightful conversation a few days 
 ago with a young corporal who left my Company 
 a short time since. He has been, for nearly three 
 years, a consistent follower of Christ ; and I am 
 proud to say he is still ' fighting the good fight 
 of faith.' But we must expect to have the hitter 
 as well as the sweet. I grieve to say that one, of 
 whom I had great hopes, has deserted his colours, 
 and gone back — poor fellow, I deeply pity him ! 
 I trust it may prove a v/arning lesson to me, to 
 watch and pray more constantly and fervently, 
 and ' take heed,' lest I also fall. But I will never 
 give up any man — Jesus did not give me up — and 
 
102 FELENDSniP. 
 
 I hope and look to his being brought back to the 
 fold. 
 
 " What you said in your letter about spiritual 
 pride, I feel to be very applicable to myself at 
 times ; but when I am so inclined to forget who 
 and what I am, I endeav our to imagine the sinner 
 standing alone, without a Saviour, and without 
 the Holy Ghost; and the miserable, wretched 
 thought quickly makes me to know and to feel 
 my utter vileness and weakness ! 
 
 " Give my Christian love to all ; and ' Now 
 our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God, even our 
 Father, which hath loved us, and has given us 
 everlasting salvation, and good hope through 
 grace, comfort your hearty and stablish you in 
 every good word and work,' 
 
 " Ever your deeply-grateful and sincere friend, 
 " Hedley Yicaks." 
 
 Early in February he received intelligence of 
 the alarming illness of his uncle. Colonel Edward 
 Vicars, R.E., at Gibraltar. He was on his way 
 out to the East, intrusted with an important mil- 
 itary command, when he was seized with an at- 
 tack of paralysis, and was landed at Gibraltar, in 
 danger of his life. His wife was not in health to 
 undertake the voyage thither. In this extremity, 
 Hedley, with characteristic unselfishness, at some 
 personal inconvenience, immediately accepted the 
 proposition to go in her place, and left England 
 
FRIENDSHIP. 103 
 
 within a few hours of obtaining leave from his 
 colonel. 
 
 From hirnself we should never have learnt how 
 much of help and comfort, physically and spirit- 
 ually, he afforded to the suffering invalid ; though 
 in every letter he expressed his admiration and 
 respect for the heroic fortitude, and patient, 
 thankful spirit, with which Colonel Vicars bore 
 his mortifying disappointment and heavy affliction. 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "Gibraltar, Feb. 11th. 
 
 " On board a Goal Hulk. 
 
 " Dearest Mother — Hei*e I am, thank God, 
 safe and sound ; but, alas! in Quarantine for seven 
 days. I sailed on the afternoon of the 4th, and 
 had a prosperous voyage, and most delightful 
 weather. I was in hopes I should have had a cabin 
 to myself, but in this I was disappointed, having 
 been doubled up with two cadets of the East 
 India Company's Service. At first I was strongly 
 inclined to avoid the reproach of the Cross, and 
 not to make a mark of myself by kneeling down, 
 or reading my Bible in their presence, before re- 
 tiiing to rest. But God gave me grace to over- 
 come this. Still it shows me what a co\\'ard I 
 am, that I should, even for an instant, be tempt- 
 ed to hide my colours, and ashamed to confess 
 Christ. 
 
 " My usual and favourite hour for meditation 
 
104 FEIENDSHIP. 
 
 was after all the rest had turned mto their berths, 
 when, with none on deck but the officer of the 
 watch and the steersman, I could walk and think 
 Tuidisturbed. We had fine moonlight nights, and 
 the still grandeur of the heavens brought the 
 Nineteenth Psalm forcibly to my mind. 
 
 "The Indus arrived in the Bay of Gibraltar on 
 the evening of the 9th ; and I learnt that the Eng- 
 land was in quarantine with the Rock, owing to 
 the cholera ; and that I should have seven days to 
 wait before I could go on land. This detention 
 is truly unfortunate ; I am so impatient to get to 
 my poor uncle. But in little things, as well as 
 great, we must learn to see the hand of God, and 
 to remember that his infinite wisdom orders all." 
 
VII. 
 
 *♦ His words are full of faith, and thoughts, more high 
 Than aught of earth, now fills his glance with light ; 
 Thoughts which give nobler lessons how to die 
 Than e'er were drawn from Nature's haughty might. 
 And to that eye^ with all the spirit bright, 
 Have ours rcDlied in tears." Hemans. 
 
 Scarcely bad Hedley Vicars sailed for Gib- 
 raltar, when the startling order for an army to 
 proceed to the East, shook the heart of peaceful 
 England to its centre. Partings took place, such 
 as had not been known in the land for forty years, 
 and farewell blessings v/ere given, to extend over 
 fields of bloodshed and death. 
 
 " Pray for hbn'''' was the watchword from 
 friend to friend, as a husband, a son, or a brother, 
 went forth to fight the battles of his country. 
 Every sight of the Queen's uniform called forth 
 emotions of generous enthusiasm from all condi- 
 tions of men and efforts v/ere made by those who 
 felt that higher interests vrere at stake than of this 
 mortal life only, to carry the message of peace to 
 
106 THE WAR 
 
 men who were on th*^ eve of being engaged in 
 the horrors of war. Every pulse of the country- 
 beat only for her soldier sons. 
 
 Each time the newspaper was unfolded, the 
 number of some fresh regiment, ordered to hold 
 itself in readiness for active service, or the 
 brief notice of a troop transport having sailed, 
 brought home the trial to the hearts of hundreds 
 more. 
 
 At length came the notice of the 97th being 
 under orders. The pang with which this an- 
 nouncement was read by those to whom the name 
 of Hedley Vicars had become so dear, may well 
 be imagined. As his friends had been under the 
 impression that he might be retained at Gibraltar, 
 until he joined his regiment there, on his way to 
 the East, it was an indescribable relief to them 
 to find that he was again in England, and that 
 they should see his face once more. 
 
 The following letters were written shortly after 
 his return : 
 
 " Windsor, March 15th. 
 "My very Dear Friend — Thank you very 
 much for your valued letter, which affected me 
 not a little. We are, as far as men can judge, on 
 the eve of war ; and I shall soon, perhaps, be 
 engaged in all the horrors of battle. But even 
 the7i^ believe me, I shall ever remember with 
 deepest gratitude the friend who has so often 
 
THE WAR, 107 
 
 cheered and comforted my too cold and wavering 
 heart. 
 
 "But there are some things in your letter 
 which grieve me. Your heart is sorrowful. I 
 have felt more than once that peculiar bitterness 
 which your soul has so lately experienced, and 
 I can therefore fully sympathize with you. When 
 we have, as we fondly hoped, been blessed by 
 God in bringing a fellow-sinner into the fold 
 of Christ, and when that often-prayed-for and 
 yearned-over one has given many proofs which 
 both to ourselves and to the world in which he 
 moves, appear decisive, it goes to the heart's quick 
 to see or hear of such turning his back on an 
 ever-loving and long-suifering Saviour, and going 
 once more hand in hand with his bitterest enemy. 
 It is not so much, perhaps, fear for the souls of 
 those poor erring men which causes us that sick- 
 ness and weariness of heart ; for we know that 
 when a man sins ' he has an advocate with the 
 Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous ;' and do 
 you not think that in praying for the backslider, 
 we seem to see the day of his repentance near 
 again ? But what tongue can tell the injury that 
 is done to the cause of Christ ? And this, alas ! is 
 irrevocable ! But, dear friend, let us not dwell 
 upon this painful subject. Each returning day 
 proclaims aloud in our ears, ' Now is the accepted 
 time ; now is the day of salvation,' bidding us 
 never to despair, for while there is breath there is 
 
108 THE WAK. 
 
 hope, but rather calUng us to lay out ourselves 
 afresh and begin the battle again. 
 
 " I feel for you very, very much, and still more 
 
 for poor W and H , who have been at 
 
 length overcome by the all-enticing snares of 
 Satan, (Oh, how long he had me completely in his 
 net !) The temptations in the wild roving life 
 those poor fellov/s lead, must be strong. But we 
 wall unite our prayers for their recovery, and hope 
 and believe (as I do still in the similar case of two 
 or three of my soldiers) they will be attracted 
 again to the cross of Jesus. We may conclude 
 that when a soul has indeed tasted of its sweet 
 comfort, that the pleasures which once satisfied, 
 lose their charm, and appear but empty shadows, 
 and, therefore, that it will find no rest until it re- 
 turn to the sinner's refuge. When I hear of and 
 see others w^andering from the Good Shepherd, 
 I cannot help thinking to myself, ' And who art 
 thou, that thou shouldst be preserved ?' Surely 
 there is no safety but in Jesus — m clinging to 
 his cross. 
 
 " I followed a poor sergeant to his last home 
 yesterday, and now the mournful notes of the 
 dead march proclaim that another soldier is being 
 carried to the same resting-place. These sudden 
 deaths are warnings to be likewise ready. 
 
 " We are still very unsettled — nothing being 
 known foi certain as to our movements. When 
 it is known I will tell you. I have just heard 
 
THE WAR. 109 
 
 from my beloved m.otlier. She tells me slie has 
 a letter from you fall of sympathy and comfort, 
 and that she trusts a friendship is now established 
 between both families which will last for ever. 
 God for ever bless you for comforting her. Ever 
 your most affectionate friend and brother, 
 
 " Hedley Vicaks." 
 
 " Windsor, March ■ 2 1 st. 
 "My very Dear Friend — I received your 
 dear, welcome letter on Sunday morning when I 
 was on the castle guard. I intended answering it 
 last night, but from having been on guard one 
 day, and on regimental duty the next, I felt ra- 
 ther tired. My heart is warmed with deepest 
 feelings of gratitude and affection towards you, 
 and never imagine that either time, or absence, 
 or anything else will ever cause it to diminish : 
 and what a blessing that the anchor of our love 
 is firmly fixed beneath the cross of Christ, for 
 such a friendship is sure and lasting, not merely 
 held fast by the ' silver cord' of life, which may 
 be snapped m a moment, but embedded in the 
 cleft of the rock for ever. God grant, dear 
 friend, your love for Christ and devotion to his 
 service may be blessed, not only in winning fresh 
 jewels for the Saviour's crown, but in imparting 
 stronger faith and more earnest zeal in the hearts 
 of those who have been already visited by the 
 Holy Ghost, and melted by the Redeemer's 
 10 
 
110 THE WA.E. 
 
 * agony and bloody sweat, and by liis cross and 
 passion.' I can never repay you for that onward 
 and steadier progress which I feel that you have 
 been instrumental, through the grace of God, in 
 imparting to my Christian course. I should find 
 it difficult to tell you what solid peace a.nd ele- 
 vated enjoyment I have derived from communion 
 with my best of all earthly friends. May the 
 gladness and sunshine of the Saviour's presence 
 ever more and more be inwardly experienced by 
 you in all its glowing, quickening power and 
 heavenly delight, as a rich foretaste of those 
 pleasures ' which e}'e hath not seen nor ear 
 heard,' but which God hath prepared for you, 
 and, I trust, for me ! 
 
 " At the feet of Jesus I would take ujd my 
 resting-place, and learn of Kim who was ' meek 
 and lowly of heart.' O, how I long to have more, 
 much more, of his ever-anxious solicitude and 
 tender concern for souls, and something more 
 like his confidence and love towards a heavenly 
 Father. I see many shortcomings in myself and 
 much remaining worldliness and vanity ; but — 
 
 " ' Grace, 'tis a charming sound,' 
 
 *for all have sinned and come short of the glory 
 of God;' but, notwithstanding, *the righteous- 
 ness of God, by faith of Jesus Christ, is unto all 
 and upon all them that believe, for there is no 
 difference. ' Thus the righteousness of God 
 
THE WAR. Ill 
 
 mthout the law is manifested,' since we are ' jus- 
 tified/ree/y by liis grace through the redemption 
 that is in Ciirist Jesus.' It is to this glorious 
 truth I -would ever cling in life or in death, for I 
 have thus ' boldness to enter into the holiest by 
 the blood of Jesus.' This same Saviour ' appears 
 now in the presence of God for us,' where ' He 
 ever liveth to make intercession for us.' Would 
 that all we love were safely sheltered beneath the 
 crt>ss. My heart aches when I look around upon 
 most of those whose lot has been cast, like my 
 own, in the army ; for notwithstanding the war 
 which is so close at hand, and in which we shall 
 in all probability be engaged, how little change is 
 visible in their walk and conversation ! But in 
 
 two cases I have great hopes — CajDt. and 
 
 one of our young Ensigns — in whose hearts I 
 think the love of Christ linds a response. May 
 they have strength to persevere unto the end ! 
 
 " Do not make yourself uneasy about the Si- 
 moom. I came in her from Halifax, and can an- 
 swer for her tortoise-like sailing qualities ! I do 
 not think we are to go to Constantinople, but are 
 to co-operate with the Baltic fleet. If so, I fear 
 I shall never have an opportunity of meeting 
 Captain Astley. Give my love to all. God bless 
 and keep you, my dear friend. Ever your most 
 aflectionate friend ard brother, 
 
 " Hedley Vicaks." 
 
112 THE WAR. 
 
 TO LADY KAYLEIGH. 
 
 "Windsor, March, 1854. 
 " Ever Dearest Clara — Many thanks for 
 your dear, interesting letter. How much I 
 should have liked being present at the Meeting, 
 and to have made acquaintance with Mr. Dallas. 
 The Irish Church Missions Society ranks in my 
 mind above any other. God grant it success ! I 
 remember it in my prayers every Saturday morn- 
 ing. May a great blessing attend the efforts 
 which are being made to bring the poor benight- 
 ed people of Ireland from the soul-destroying 
 errors of Popery to the simple ' truth as it is in 
 Jesus.' How plain and easy to be imderstood is 
 the plan of salvation : " Believe on the Lord 
 Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.' Jesus 
 Christ is the sinner's prophet, priest, and king ; 
 and, thank God, v/e want no other. I am glad 
 to say the Protestant Reformation Meeting is to 
 come off here next Wednesday. There has been 
 some difficulty about it, and I am quite rejoiced 
 that it has been decided upon at last. But, dear- 
 est Clara, whilst I am so opposed to Popery (see- 
 ing, as I do, the Avorking of the system in the 
 army), I bear no ill will to Romanists themselves. 
 I should not be a Christian if I did ; and I hope 
 that I have no mere party feelings in this matter, 
 but rather that I am led to think as I do from 
 the plain teaching of the Word of God. * * * 
 Events certainly are hastening rapidly, and the 
 
THE WAR. 313 
 
 coming of the Son of man may be sooner than 
 any of us expect it. We!], dearest sister, what- 
 ever may turn up, I think we can say nothing 
 can hurt us. When I look within for proofs of 
 my election and sanctiiication, I sometimes trem- 
 ble : but the instant I lift up my eyes to Him 
 whom God has given to be our righteousness, 
 then my unbelieving fears vanish to the winds. 
 Oh, that we could ever keep Jesus in our hearts, 
 and never let Him go. 
 
 In a letter of the same date to his youngest 
 sister, the following remarkable passage occurs : 
 
 " Be assured you will feel far happier in this 
 loorld even, by making religion your chief busi- 
 ness and study, than by all the pleasures and 
 gaieties which your young heart may now pro- 
 bably be longing after. I tell you candidly and 
 seriously that I would willingly part with every 
 earthly pleasure for life^ for one hour^s commu- 
 nion with Jesus every day." 
 
 On the 29th of March he came from Windsor 
 to meet us in London and return v/ith us to 
 Beckenham. On the evening of his arrival he 
 addressed upwards of a hundred navvies, besides 
 several of the young men of the village, at the 
 reading-rooms. They were crowded to excess, 
 and many more men surrounded the doors. He 
 chose for his subject, "Prepare to meet thy 
 10* 
 
114 THE WAR. 
 
 God :" and no man on a dying bed could have 
 spoken with greater solemnity and earnestness. 
 Yet there he stood — a strong young man amidst 
 strong young men, " putting himself alongside of 
 lis as a fellow-sinner," as one of them remarked, 
 " and yet so good now, and such a man withal !" 
 
 One after another they crowded round him for 
 a shake of his hand, and to wish him safety and 
 success. We heard them saying amongst them- 
 selves, " It 's a pity such a fine fellow as that 
 should go to be shot ;" and several of them met 
 at the farther end of the village to make an 
 agreement to pray for him regularly. With two 
 of them the next morning he had a private con- 
 versation and prayer, at their own request. 
 
 On- his way to the station he visited a dying 
 navvy at Sydenham, with whom he prayed. The 
 man said, "He never heard such a prayer; it 
 went straight to his heart." 
 
 Whilst w^aiting for the train he spoke of " the 
 comfort of love between Christian friends," and 
 then added in a low under tone, yet shghtly 
 hurried, " I have one last favour to ask of you. 
 When I am shot, write to my mother ; see her 
 when you can ; comfort her as God will teach you." 
 
 As soon as I could make any reply, I gave 
 him the promise he required ; but added that it 
 seemed to me that so much prayer was made for 
 him, we ought to believe that a special Provi- 
 dence would be extended over him. 
 
THE WAR. 115 
 
 He said he did not doubt it. Still his impres- 
 sion was that he should not return. It did not 
 depress him, only gave him a more solemn trust 
 in God, that He would make the name of the 
 Lord Jesus Christ glorified in him whether by 
 Hfe or by death. 
 
 As his regiment was under orders to hold itself 
 in readiness for embarkation at a day's notice, 
 we all thought at the time that this would be his 
 last visit to Beckenham, and " sorrowed most of 
 all for the words which he spake, that we should 
 see his face no more." 
 
 "March 31st. 
 " * * * I have left the quiet peace and 
 heavenly calm of blessed Beckenham, soon, per- 
 haps, to enter upon scenes of angry warfare and 
 strife : but be assured, dearest friends, that you 
 will ever live in my memory, my thoughts, and 
 my prayers ; and should it be God's will that we 
 should not see each other here again, we will not 
 sorrow, ' even as others which have no hope, for 
 if we believe (thank God ! we do) that Jesus died 
 and rose again, even so them also that sleep in 
 Jesus will God bring with Him.' Death to the 
 believer is, after all, but an incident in immor- 
 tality, for Christ says, ' He that believeth on me 
 hath everlasting life.' How earnestly I thank 
 ray heavenly Father for having led me betimes 
 to prepare for that certain eternity beyond the 
 
116 THE WAE. 
 
 grave. A soldier needs to have Christ in his 
 heart before the hour of battle, although we may 
 hope and believe that to many (like the dying 
 thief) the Son of Righteousness may arise ' with 
 healing in his wings,' even after the swift bullet 
 has brought the awful message, 'Behold, this 
 night (or this hour) thy soul shall be required of 
 thee.' 
 
 " I had such a heavenly joy yesterday and to- 
 day, in conversing with a young bandsman, and a 
 corporal whom I sent for, to my room. I was 
 much struck by an observation from the latter 
 (who, for a time, had flillen away, but is now ' all 
 right,') ' I want more of Jesus in this life^ Sir, so 
 that when I die I may not be admitted into 
 heaven as a stranger, but be received like a long- 
 lost child would be at his own home.' Surely 
 the Spirit of God is at v»'ork in his soul. 
 
 "These two men began their Christian course 
 at the same time as myself. I experience fresh 
 delight every time I speak with them of the love 
 of God, of the peace and joy there is in believing. 
 Alas ! we understand each other too, when we 
 speak of our weakness, our deadness at times to 
 spiritual perceptions, our cares, and our temp- 
 tations. 
 
 " The Testaments for the men arrived safely. 
 Poor fellows ! they Avere so delighted to get 
 them. I am sure if they knew to whom they 
 were indebted for them, they would desire mo 
 
THE WAE. 117 
 
 to send you their hearty thanks. I greatly like 
 the little ' Soldier's Prayer.' Short, strong, and 
 easy to be understood, it comprehends all that 
 will fit us for heaven. Being a soldier, I take the 
 liberty of using it myself. God grant they may 
 all offer it from the ground of the heart. I have 
 often heard it said, ' The worse the man, the bet- 
 ter the soldier!' Facts contradict this untruth. 
 Were I ever, as leader of a forlorn hope, allowed 
 to select my men, it would be most certainly from 
 among the soldiers of Christ, for who should 
 fight so fearlessly and bravely as those to whom 
 death presents no after terrors ? * * ♦ j 
 was surprised to hear of the death of that poor 
 navvy whom we visited ; but I will cling with 
 you to the hope that he died a ' pardoned sinner.' 
 He loved prayer ; this was not a natural desire, 
 but implanted in his heart by God the Holy 
 Spirit ; and we may rest in a good hope that He 
 who ' despiseth not the sighing of a contrite 
 heart,' has been very merciful to him, and that 
 he has gone to swell the number of the ransomed 
 throng; and we shall meet again! The days 
 of our appointed time will ere long have run out, 
 and then our change comes. In that, our hour 
 of need, when the heart shall prompt the rising 
 prayer, ' Forsake me not when my strength fail- 
 eth,' then shall the words of Jesus comfort our 
 departing souls, ' I will 7iever leave thee, nor for- 
 sake thee.' A near view of Jesus, with those 
 
118 IHE WAR. 
 
 words ringing in our ears, is all that Ave shall want 
 then. 
 
 " ' In thy presence I am happy, 
 In thy presence I 'm secure ; 
 In thy presence all affliction 
 I can easily endure. 
 
 " 'In thy presence I can conquer, 
 I can suffer, I can die. 
 Far from Thee I faint and perish ; 
 my Saviour, keep me nigh." 
 
 "The little book of Psalms you gave me, I 
 take with me whenever I go out to walk. I 
 have just learned by heart Psalm xci., and it has 
 filled me with confidence in Jesus. 
 
 "Remember me most kindly to Gregory, 
 Wood, Wakefield, and Dibley, and all my friends 
 among the navvies. May the Lord give them 
 grace to follow after the things that make for 
 their peace, and to ' fear not the reproach of men, 
 neither to be afraid of their revilings.' I remem- 
 ber them all in my prayers. Oh, may they all 
 hold on to the end !* Do tell them that I value 
 their prayers more than I can express, and give 
 them my best wishes for their interests, both 
 temporal and spiritual. I shall probably see 
 them no more on earth, as we are daily expect- 
 ing our final orders." 
 
 * Thomas Dibley, navvy, late of the Army "Works' Corps, 
 died of cholera in the Crimea, August 28th, 1855. By th€» 
 grace of God he did " hold on to the end." 
 
THE WAE. 119 
 
 But these final orders were not given until 
 seven weeks later, weeks of uo common value to 
 those who loved him. 
 
 During this period, an interest and a hope 
 which, for some time past, he had felt it to be his 
 duty to repress, revived with an earnestness and 
 brightness which cast a new colouring over his 
 views of an earthly future, and in a measure 
 effaced the impression that he should not live to 
 return home. Precious as his life had ever been 
 to others, it now became of double value, for it 
 belonged, not to his friends alone — not to his 
 mother and his family alone — but to one whose 
 early affection was entirely his, and whose spirit 
 was of kindred quality. 
 
 The hope of returning to claim her as his own 
 for ever, was very near his heart, and through- 
 out the long months of his last miserable winter 
 before Sebastopol, had no unimportant influence 
 in keeping his spirit bright and strong. His 
 earthly love was not the less deep and fervent, 
 because it was subordinate to a love yet higher. 
 
 As he was quartered, in the months of April 
 and May, at Kensington Barracks, he was able 
 to attend several of the Meetings held by the re- 
 ligious Societies in Exeter Hall. His heart was 
 world-wide, and, as a necessary consequence, it 
 was his earnest desire that the religion which had 
 so expanded his natural powers of loving, and 
 which was the spring of his own joy, should be 
 
120 TUE WAR. 
 
 spread over the earth, by means of Bible and 
 Missionary Associations. To his social nature, 
 also, the meeting with many Christian brothers 
 was a peculiar joy ; and at this time he formed 
 several strong personal friendships, which did not 
 cease when he left the country. 
 
 That he won no common love from those who 
 knew him, even slightly, may be gathered from 
 the fact that he was prayed for, by name, at nine 
 weekly prayer-meetings for the army, in Eng- 
 land and Scotland, from the day of their com- 
 mencement to the day of his death. 
 
 TO niS YOUNGEST SISTER. 
 
 "I trust you had a happy Easter Sunday. It 
 is the ' day of days,' on which, above all others, 
 we should rejoice and be glad. On this day the 
 Lord of Glory rose from the grave — He who was 
 crowned with thorns, and nailed to the fearful 
 cross — Jesus, the suffering, dying Lamb of God. 
 His agonies are ended — He is risen. He is risen ! 
 Think not then of your past sins, except that you 
 may love Christ more for having forgiven you so 
 much. They are all buried in His sepulchre; 
 that streaming blood proclaims your soul's re- 
 demption. 
 
 " ' The Lappy morn is come, 
 
 Triumphant o'er the grave ; 
 The Saviour leaves ihc tomb, 
 Omnipotent to save. 
 
THE WAR. 121 
 
 " • Christ has the ransom paid ; 
 The glorious work is done ; 
 On Him our help is laid, 
 By Him our victory won. 
 
 " 'Who now accuses them 
 
 For whom their Surety died ? 
 "Who now shall those condemn 
 Whom God hath justified ?' 
 
 " Believe in this power of Jesus to save and 
 help you. Dwell much in your thoughts upon 
 His character. You must seek for Him as for 
 hid treasure, and remember His words, 'Those 
 that seek me early shall iind me.' 
 
 " I want you, my darling Georgie, to give up 
 your heart entirely to Christ Jesus your Re- 
 deemer. His love is beyond the power of words 
 to express, and He is wilHng to pardon abun- 
 dantly. We need, indeed, many gifts and graces 
 before w^e shall be perfect in Christ Jesus, but, as 
 St. Paul says, 'My God shall supply all your 
 need, according to his riches in glory by Christ 
 Jesus.' It is of no use to complain of our wants, 
 unless we go to have them supplied, and we 
 should not only pray to be deUvered from the 
 temporal and eternal consequences of sin, but for 
 power to burst asunder each remaining link of 
 its fetters ; for strength to fight against pride, 
 vanity, anger, self-righteousness, and everything 
 which we know to be contrary to the will of our 
 blessed Redeemer; and O dearest sister, may 
 11 
 
122 THE WAR. 
 
 we both grow daily in love and joy and peace, in 
 tenderness of conscience and purity of heart." 
 
 TO MRS. OVENS. 
 
 " My very Dear Friend — God bless you for 
 that kind and cheering letter, and also for your 
 ])rayers, which I value more than I can express. 
 As but a poor return, whilst I live, you shall have 
 mine. May your heart, dear friend, be ever 
 warmed and gladdened by the bright sunshine 
 of a Saviour's presence. You know (and every 
 believer in Christ can testify to it) that their is 
 no delight in this world equal to that which is 
 felt when the Saviour is 72.ear. Surely we have 
 both great cause to 
 
 ** 'Praise God, from whom all blessings flow,' 
 
 for his distinguishing love and mercy in singling 
 us out, and condescending to dwell in our hearts, 
 whilst so many who are no greater sinners than 
 we are ' are living without God in the world.' 
 
 " 'G-race, 'tis a charming sound, 
 Harmonious to the ear.' 
 
 " God grant that both our hearts may loe Jilled 
 with Christ, and whilst ' with open face behold, 
 ing as in a glass the glory of the Lord,' may we 
 ' be changed into the same image from glory to 
 glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.' ' Look- 
 ing unto Jesus' is after all, the grand secret for 
 keeping alive a love for holiness in the heart, and 
 
THE WAR. 123 
 
 a lono^ino; for a more constant and close com- 
 munion with our Heavenly Father. 
 
 " I returned from a short visit tu Dr. Marsh 
 last Thursday ; truly that place is ' a little heaven 
 below.' I enjoyed the short time I spent there 
 very much, and was greatly refreshed by the 
 many proofs I observed of real conversion to God 
 from among the poor navvies employed in the 
 Crystal Palace. What encouragement for us, 
 dear friend, to be also zealous and active in the 
 cause of our blessed Redeemer ! One of the 
 army missionaries employed by the ' Soldiers' 
 Friend Society' called upon me last Monday with 
 several Testaments (the men cannot take Bibles in 
 their knapsacks) for the soldiers of the QVth 
 Regiment. Would you mind asking your hus- 
 band to make it known among his Christian 
 friends that there is such a Society ? The men are 
 very grateful for the great interest which is being 
 taken in their eternal welfare. Who can say but 
 that many a poor fellow, even after the whistling 
 bullet has brought the summons, 'Prepare to 
 meet thy God,' may be brought to ' look unto 
 Jesus,' and thus be saved by a message of peace 
 given him through those Tesaments ? There is 
 yet nothing known positively about the move- 
 ments of my regiments, but it is said that we are 
 soon to move to the Tower prior to our departure 
 for the seat of war. I was much cheered the day 
 before yesterday by a conversation which I had 
 
124 THE YfAK. 
 
 with two soldiers of the 97th, who began to follow 
 the Lord Jesus about the same time as I did ; they 
 are both, thank God, Avalking in his ways, and, 
 like good soldiers of Christ, are fighting the 
 Lord's battles against all his foes. I trust, dear 
 friend, that when I return (if I ever do return), I 
 may have an opportunity of paying you a visit. 
 I am sure nothing would give me greater pleasure. 
 Remember me most kindly to your husband, and 
 beUeve me ever 
 
 " Your grateful and sincere friend, 
 
 " Hedley Yicaks." 
 
 One day, when we were in London, I happened 
 to meet him, when on my way to a hospital to 
 see a sick navvy, whom I had known in Becken- 
 ham. He requested permission to go also. I 
 hesitated, on finding that there were fever cases 
 in the ward for which I was bound: he was 
 amused at my fears for him, saying, that in old 
 times he had spent many hours of the day by the 
 side of yellow fever patients, at their quarters in 
 the West Lidies, reading novels to them ; " So 
 now you need not fear for me if I. read the Bible 
 to your mild fever cases in England !" 
 
 From that time, he regularly visited that poor 
 man twice-a-week, although the hospital was six 
 miles distant from Kensington Barracks ; and 
 even in the hurry of his last day in England, 
 found time to bid him farewell. 
 
THE WAE. 125 
 
 Daring each of his succeeding visits to Becken- 
 hani, he addressed the poor in one cottage or 
 another, in different parts of the village. At a 
 carpenter's cottage, in an adjoining hamlet, where 
 he spoke with reference to the fast for the army, 
 which had been kept throughout the country the 
 day before, he was constantly prayed for, from 
 that time until its owner heard of his death. 
 
 A large number of young men, chiefly navvies, 
 were present that evening, and at our request he 
 told them the story of his conversion. To illus- 
 trate the recklessness of his life before that great 
 change took place, he mentioned amongst other 
 acts of useless and even sinful daring, that when 
 he Vv^as in the West Indies, at the time the cholera 
 was raging, he and one brother ofiicer determined 
 to punish another for being afraid of it. 
 
 " Let us put liim into a coffin !" said Hedley. 
 No sooner spoken than acted upon. A row of 
 coffins stood at the hospital door. Undeterred 
 from their reckless purpose, by finding one after 
 another filled by a silent occupant, they at last 
 succeeded in their object. 
 
 The companion of Hedley Vicars in this sinful 
 practical joke was seized with cholera shortly 
 afterwards ; but, by God's forbearing mercy, he 
 was spared" for better things. 
 
 At the close of liis address, he turned round, 
 and said to me, with characteristic frank sim- 
 plicitly, " I am sorry you asked me to speak of 
 11* 
 
126 THE WAR. 
 
 myself; one is afraid of being j^roud even in 
 speaking of one's sins !" 
 
 The following letter is in allusion to this : 
 
 "Dearest Friend — I cannot tell you how 
 lonely I always feel when, after having enjoyed 
 your society (even if only for a few hours) I have 
 once more returned to the routine of a soldier's 
 life. But do not suppose because I say this, or 
 from any thing I have lately said, that I am be- 
 ginning to ' show the white feather,' and that, 
 finding a soldier's cross too irksome, I would 
 change it for one less weighty. Never! The 
 Lord God has called me to eternal life in the army, 
 and as a soldier I tcill die. Had I loved Jesus 
 when I was seventeen, or rather had the love of 
 Jesus been then made known to my soul, I cer- 
 tainly should not have been a soldier ; but as it 
 is, death alone shall ever make me leave my 
 colours. Did our God and King, Jesus himself 
 the ' great Captain of our salvation,' spare any 
 toil, fatigue, anguish, or bodily suffering even 
 nnto death, to obtain forgiveness of our sins ? 
 And shall not we, towards whom this infinite love 
 and compassion have been shown, be constrained 
 to do so7nethi7ig for Jesus in return, nor care if 
 our path of duty should prove a rough and 
 thorny one ; for He cleared a way through the 
 briars first., and we but follow in the Saviour's 
 footsteps ? 
 
THE WAR. 127 
 
 " I confess that at times Satan has puffed me 
 up, and made me thhik more highly of myself 
 than I ought to think ; but I hate and detest this 
 sin, and for many months I think the Lord has 
 given me grace to fight against it effectually. 
 But I must be watchful. How pleasant, is it not, 
 after having been engaged in the work of heart- 
 examination, to pause and behold the Lamb of 
 God ? I thank God that I can trace so distinctly 
 His finger in my soul's conversion, and that it has 
 been begun and is carried on entirely by Him 
 alone. ' By grace are ye saved, through faith, 
 and that not of yourselves ; it is the gift of God, 
 not of works, lest any man should boast.' ' Wor- 
 thy IS THE Lamb that was slain, to receive 
 power, and riches, and w^isdom, and strength, and 
 honour, and glory, and blessing !' 
 
 "In reading again the account of our Saviour's 
 resurrection, I could not help pausing to meditate 
 on those blessed words, ' I ascend to my Father and 
 your Father.' Is it not dehghtful when we can 
 (even only for a while) fully realize that we are 
 thus closely united to God through Jesus Christ ; 
 and is it not a wonderful thought, in grandeur far 
 exceeding the highest conception of the human 
 mind, that we, although mere creatures of the 
 clay, are yet immortal, God-related beings, elect- 
 ed, destined to enjoy a glorious, never-ending 
 eternity with Jehovah Jesus, our Father and Elder 
 Brother ? Then shall these dark tombs of hearts 
 
128 THE WAR. 
 
 be made so pure and white that even the breath 
 of sm can never come near to defile them; and 
 now we see through a glass darkly, then shall we 
 ' know even as we are known.' 
 
 " I often grieve when at night I look back on 
 the many precious hours of the day lost^ given me 
 for the purpose of making a closer acquaintance 
 with Jesus ; and I suppose the greater happiness 
 we find in Him here, the greater will be our en- 
 joyment of Him hereafter.* It is only adding 
 sorrow to grief to know as we do that Christ 
 yearns for our love, and that it pains His human 
 nature when forgotten by us, for whom He has 
 done such great things ; but I do desire to be 
 always in Christ, and He in me; and I think in 
 His mercy God is leading my heart to seek more 
 earnestly ' the unsearchable riches of Christ ;' 
 and yet there is still the remains of the old leaven 
 working in my heart, and it is only the grace of 
 God that restrains me. But how comforting the 
 assurance that He v/ill carry on His ' labour of 
 love' in our souls, that He does not leave the 
 issue in the least doubtful ; for His having come 
 to us and made His abode with us, filling our 
 hearts with peace and joy in believing, and caus- 
 ing them to ' abound with hope through the 
 power of the Holy Ghost,' is a proof that we 
 shall persevere unto the end, and leads us to be- 
 lieve that (notwithstanding our frail natures) we 
 shall never perish, hut, being sealed with th© 
 
 I 
 
THE WAE. 129 
 
 * Spiiit of promise,' be kept through faith unto 
 salvation, and preserved blameless unto the com- 
 ing of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
 
 " I must not forget, dearest friend, to explain 
 what I meant when I said that ' a sort of pride is 
 apt to rise up in speaking even of our sins.' It is 
 a fact that when I have spoken of my life (at 
 least, the greater part of it) to those who were 
 then living in the indulgence of those very sins 
 (once the inmates of my heart), I have had such 
 thoughts as those put into my mind (and it has 
 more than once made me doubt my sincerity in 
 referring to myself) : ' Oh, yes, if you let them 
 know that you were once like themselves, they 
 will think the better of you for having led what 
 they would call a bold, fearless, dashing life; 
 they will admire your excessive humility, think 
 you an extraordinary character!' and so on. It 
 is positively sickening to knov/ that I have ever 
 been guilty of such vile thoughts. But there is, 
 thank God ! a fountain ever open in which to 
 wash and be clean. 
 
 '• ' When I survey the wondrous cross 
 On which the Prince of Glory died, 
 My richest gain I count but loss, 
 And pour contempt on all my pride.' 
 
 " It should ever be deeply humbling to the be- 
 liever to make kno^vn a career of sin, although 
 past, gone, and washed out for ever in the blood 
 of the Lamb." 
 
130 THE WAR. 
 
 "KENSixaiox, May 3d, 1854. 
 
 " I am going to Richmond to see my dear 
 uncle this morning, so I have only just time to 
 write a few lines. I have made it a rule never to 
 read any letters before prayer, and until I have 
 read and meditated on my morning portion of 
 God's Word ; but I was strongly tempted to 
 break my resolution when your letter was put 
 into my hand this morning, and I can assure you 
 it required no small self-denial and stern resist- 
 ance to loishes to put H. aside till I had offered up 
 my early sacrifice ol prayer and thanksgiving. 
 To tell you the truth, your letters have often 
 made me break through this very rule, although 
 I shall not, I hope, do so again, for I never enjoy 
 any day that has not been commenced alone icith 
 God. I Avent to see your navvy at the hospital 
 on Saturday afternoon, before I received your 
 letter. I read a chapter, and had a pleasant chat 
 with him for more than half an hour. He is, I 
 think, rather weaker and thinner than when you 
 saw him ; but I believe his soul is prospering, 
 thank God ! He spoke most gratefully of you. 
 I shall go and see him again soon. 
 
 "I also had a long conversation with another 
 poor fellow. I found that he had been a boat- 
 swain in the navy for many years. He thanked 
 me most heartily for having sjDoken to him as I 
 wished him good-bye. 
 
 *'I had intended talking to some of the other 
 
THE WAR. 131 
 
 men^ but an old woman carae up in a threatening 
 attitude, and told me ' time was up ;' so I was 
 obliged to retire. 
 
 "I have just returned from Simm's, where I 
 had my likeness taken. I think there are two 
 for you to choose from, both as plain as life. I 
 brought my great Halifax Bible to have its por- 
 trait taken, as you desired. 
 
 "Dr. Cay Cc\me to my room again yesterday, 
 and we read together 2 Cor. v. I find it a great 
 comfort to see and talk with such a dear child of 
 God ; andyet Jesus has often been more precious 
 when, for days and weeks, I have not had one to 
 speak to who could feel with me on the subject 
 of religion, than when I have been thus blessed." 
 
 On the 6th of May he went down to Terling, 
 to stand godfither to his sister's infant son. The 
 impression left on the minds of all his family by 
 this visit, which he knew to be his last before 
 leaving England, was that of increased earnest- 
 ness, amounting to solemnity. Twice, at Lord 
 Rayleigh's request, he led the devotions at family 
 prayers ; and those who heard him bore away a 
 conviction of his meetness for that state of which 
 he spoke with holy longing — " absent from the 
 body, present with the Lord.'''' His subject on 
 the first day was 2 Cor. v., on the last Rev. xxii. 
 
 With his mother and sisters he held unreserved 
 communion on the things which belonged to 
 
132 THE AVAK. 
 
 their peace. His second sister remembers that, 
 when pressing the duty of reading the Word of 
 God with prayer before the work of the day be- 
 gan, he mentioned that whilst visiting his valued 
 friends, Mr. and Mrs. Round, of Birch Hall, Es- 
 sex, he had slept one morning later than usual, 
 and had gone down to family prayers without 
 having had time for his private devotions. "My 
 soul was the worse for it," he said, " for nearly 
 three weeks afterwards." 
 
 Affectionate as he had ever been, there was, 
 during tliis last visit, a depth of quiet tenderness 
 about him which, they now feel, was a mute pro- 
 phecy that this was his last welcome home. 
 
 Very early in the morning of the day he left 
 for London, he and his mother met for prayer. 
 He knelt long by her side, pouring out his heart 
 in pleading with God for her, that grace and 
 strength might be given for every hour of need. 
 Strengthened in spirit by that prayer, she was 
 able, with his sisters, to accompany him as far as 
 the station. The remembrance of his last em- 
 brace, his last look, his last blessing, enriches their 
 hearts still, and makes the place of their parting 
 seem almost holy ground. 
 
 A few days before the Light Company of the 
 OYth left Kensington Barracks for their embarka- 
 tion, I had an opportunity of conversing with 
 some of the men. They spoke with great respect 
 and affection for their favourite officer. One of 
 
THE WAK. 133 
 
 them, named Reynolds, said, " Since Mr. Yicars 
 became so good, he has steadied about fom* hun- 
 dred men in the regiment." 
 
 " Four hundred !" was repeated with surprise. 
 
 "I don't mean that he has made all the four 
 hundred as good as himself. That he couldn't. 
 1 know enough of religion to laiow that God 
 alone could do that. But while he was Adjutant 
 — and since, too — he has sobered and steadied 
 nigh four hundred of the drunkenraost and wild- 
 est men in the regiment. There is n't a better 
 officer nor a better man in the Queen's service." 
 
 Within a few days of the departure of the 
 97th, he received an earnest request from those 
 Crystal Palace workmen whom he had addressed 
 at Beckenham from time to time, that he would 
 give them a few farewell words. We were all 
 absent from home at the time, but a variety of 
 details of the evening reached us in the graphic 
 letters of these poor fellows. One of those let- 
 ters will suffice here : 
 
 "Deptford, May 11th, 1854. 
 " Dear Lady — Last night I went to hear that 
 blessed soldier and minister of Christ, Mr. Yicars, 
 addressing the j^eople at Beckenham, and I be- 
 lieve he was much admired by all his hearers ; 
 for my part, I never heard a man speak more like 
 a humble, true follower of Christ than he did. 
 But surely (as the words he dwelt much upon 
 12 
 
134 THE TVAR. 
 
 say) the love of Christ constraineth him. Oh 
 that all our soldiers and sailors were as he is ! 
 Then our land would bring forth her increase, 
 and God ! even our own God, would give us his 
 blessing ; and God would go before us and fight 
 our battles. But, alas! alas! we follow too much 
 our own ways, and do things we ought not, and 
 leave undone what we should do. Sometimes I 
 think myself that I will try hard to live nearer to 
 God, but perhaps before an hour is gone over, 
 wicked thoughts cross my mind, and thus I sin 
 against God. I feel my desires for good were 
 strengthened last night, and I am right glad I 
 went. I had a great desire to speak to him after- 
 wards, but there was so many people round him, 
 and I thought he had stopped as long as he could 
 convenient. I ran all the way after the carriage. 
 My hope was to see him at the station, but I was 
 not in time to see which carriage he got into in 
 the dark ; so I did not see him ; but I pray God 
 he may ever be kept in Christ, and, if it be God's 
 will, return to his native land from this dreadful 
 war in peace. If I knew were to find him at 
 Kensington, I would go up to see him again. 
 
 " From your humble, grateful servant, and son 
 in Jesus Christ, 
 
 " William Gkegory." 
 
 Hedley Vicars himself wrote of this evening's 
 work to his sister ; 
 
THE WAE. 135 
 
 TO MISS VICARS. 
 
 " Kensingtois^, Monday. 
 
 iLVer Dearest Mary — Although I am much 
 engaged in various Avays, I must find time to write 
 a few Unes to you. I must begin by giving you 
 an account of my visit to Beckenham. I had a 
 most happy meeting there last Wednesday. As 
 the Rectory was deserted, being under repair, 
 Mrs. Miller kindly asked me to have tea at her 
 house. She used to know dearest mother and 
 Uncle Edward very well. 
 
 " At eight o'clock I started for the Reading- 
 rooms, and found them filled. We began by 
 singing that beautiful hymn, ' When I survey 
 the wondrous cross,' and then I spoke to them, as 
 well as I could, on those solemn words, " We 
 must all appear before the judgment-seat of 
 Christ,' and 'The love of Christ constraineth us.' 
 God enabled me to speak very freely — more so 
 than I ever remember before — and my heart was 
 much drawn out in love for their souls. I spoke 
 for nearly an hour, and then prayed with them. 
 They appeared to take a deep interest in what 
 was said, and they took a most afiectionate fare- 
 well of me. 
 
 " I went on Thursday evening to a meeting of 
 the Ragged Church and Chapel Union, Lord 
 Shaftesbury in the chair, where I met Mr. Blake, 
 who showed me Clara's letter about the additional 
 Testaments she is going to give to the men of 
 
136 THE AVAR. 
 
 the 97th. At the London Bridge Station I met 
 
 William Gregory, one of Miss M 's navvies, 
 
 and we had a long talk, walking up and down, for 
 a full hour. 
 
 "I went yesterday to hear Mr. Cadman preach 
 at St. George's Church, Southwark. I set oiF early 
 to walk there, and arrived half an hour before the 
 service began. So, having a little time to spare, I 
 spent it in conversing with a cabman, I hope 
 profitably. I heard a capital sermon from Mr. 
 Cadman. He is an earnest, faithful preacher of 
 Christ. He had invited me to luncheon at his 
 house, and afterwards I went out with him to see 
 the ragged schools, six in number. He seems 
 almost weighed down under a sense of the great 
 responsibility of his cure. His parish numbers 
 40,000 souls, mostly of the lowest poor. I said 
 to him, ' You need. Sir, often to have near and 
 precious views of Jesus in your own soul to keep 
 your spirit from desponding and your faith strong.' 
 He said, ' Yes, it is only the thought of Him that 
 supports us in our work ; otherwise it would at 
 times be overwhelming.' At parting, he warmly 
 commended me to the grace of God. Would, 
 dearest Mary, that both of us had the deep, un- 
 feigned humility of this good man ! 
 
 "In the evening I w^ent to Park Chapel to 
 hear Mr. Goodhart, of whose preaching Miss 
 
 M spoke in such very high terms. I found 
 
 a nice walk throusfh a shaded lane towards Chel- 
 
THE WAR. 137 
 
 sea. On emerging into the road I saw an old 
 woman dressed in black, and asked her the way to 
 Park Chapel. She said, ' Oh, Sir, I am going 
 there; will you come with me? or, as I shall 
 walk too slow for you, I will tell you the way.' 
 I told her I would prefer accompanying her. We 
 began talking together. She was loud in her 
 praises of Mr. Goodhart, and said, ' Woe be to 
 the man who sits under his preaching without 
 being changed.' I mentioned another excellent 
 man. She instantly said, ' Yes, he is a very good 
 man, but he cannot hold a candle to this dear 
 child of God.' When we arrived at the chapel 
 she made me come into her pew. The chapel was 
 quite full, and I never heard a more beautiful, 
 powerful sermon in all my life — pure Gospel 
 from beginning to end. I was rather amused 
 several times by my old friend's saying, * Ah, did 
 you ever hear anything like that before ?' ' What 
 do you think of that ?' After the service, I told 
 her I should like to say a few words to him about 
 the Meeting of the Soldiers' Friend Society. She 
 said, ' You shall see him ; he is such a nice man 
 to talk to,' and showed me the way to the vestry. 
 I hesitated to go in, but she threw open the door 
 and made me go in. I introduced myself to Mr. 
 Goodhart, and he welcomed me most kindly. 
 I found out what I Vv^ished to know about the 
 Meeting, and wished him good night. I never 
 saM the old woman in black again. 
 
 1 o* 
 
138 THE WAR. 
 
 " I must conclude, as I have much to do. I 
 have to go and see about ray married soldiers' 
 children. Warm love to all. Kiss my godchild 
 for me. May the Lord Jesus be with you, and 
 the Holy Spirit be poured upon you. 
 " Ever, dearest Mary, 
 " Your devotedly attached brother, 
 
 " Hedley Yicaes." 
 
 On the evening of Wednesday, the iVth, he 
 attended the first public Meeting in Exeter Hall, 
 for the Soldiers' Friend Society, in which he was 
 warmly interested. Some of his men were also 
 present. 
 
 He found time for the service of God, and for 
 promoting the interests of His kingdom upon 
 earth, without neglecting any of the last obhga- 
 tions of friendship before his final parting, and 
 whilst occupied, almost from morning till night, in 
 arrangmg and providing for the ^nves and chil- 
 dren of the soldiers of the Light Company, 
 
 The order had come for the embarkation of his 
 regiment on Friday in that week. The fulfilment 
 of an old promise was now claimed by him, that 
 we should meet him at Waterloo Station, and 
 cheer him with a last " God bless you !" there. 
 
 But on Thursday afternoon he sent a note by 
 express, to say that they had just received orders 
 to leave London at six o'clock ; and that much as 
 he had rested on the promise of this last act of 
 
THE WAR. 189 
 
 friendsliii) in England, he could not request its 
 fulfilment, as the hour was so early. 
 
 It need not be said, that the hour was of no 
 moment to those who loved him. By six o'clock 
 we drove up to the Waterloo Station. 
 
 It was a lovely morning, that 19th of May. 
 The sunshine, glittering on the bayonets of the 
 men, as they marched ujj the step to the station, 
 seemed to mock the tears of wives, sisters, and 
 friends, who accompanied them, 
 
 I saw a young wife quit her hold of her hus- 
 band's hand, and approach Hedley Vicars, with 
 a manner of respectful confidence, as she said to 
 him, " Oh, Mr. Vicars, you will see that Cottrell 
 writes to me regular ! won't you ? It is my only 
 comfort to know that you will." 
 
 The kindness and sympathy of his tone, as he 
 answered her, told that her confidence was not 
 misplaced. 
 
 Just then his brother arrived ; and during the 
 delay which followed before the train started, we 
 read the 121st Psalm in the waiting-room. I re- 
 member the deep well of quiet confidence in his 
 eye, as the words Avere repeated to him, "The 
 Lord is thy keeper." 
 
 There was something in the tone of his voice 
 that day which struck like a distant knell upon 
 our hearts. It was a foreboding tone. However 
 strongly hope may have sprung up afterwards, we 
 felt at that moment that it was our last parting. 
 
VIII. 
 
 •* Then shall the King say, * * * Inasmuch as ye did it unto one 
 of the least of these my brethren, ye did it unto me." 
 
 The path of Heclley Yicars for nearly three 
 years past had been as a shining Hght in the eyes 
 of all who watched it. Bat during his last year 
 upon earth it shone "more and more unto the 
 perfect day." 
 
 Doubtless, for a heart at once so tender in its 
 own feelings, and so intent on sustaining the 
 spirits of others, there was a discipHne of no light 
 character in the partings he had just gone through, 
 with a presage that they were final ; and, although 
 the hopes of young, high-hearted manhood rose 
 at times above that solemn foreboding, it ran like 
 an under current through the remainder of his 
 course, and deepened his earnestness in pressing 
 after the prize set before him. 
 
 Before the Orinoco sailed from the shores of 
 England, he found time to pour forth the over- 
 flowings of his full heart in the following letters 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 141 
 
 to his mother, and to one of the friends with 
 whom he had last parted : 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "On board the Orinoco. May 19th, 1854. 
 " * * * I feel grateful to God for having 
 given me so many kind Christian friends, but far 
 above all, for having given me such a niother, 
 whose prayers, I believe, God has answered in 
 leading me for shelter and refuge to the cross of 
 Christ. Do not, I beseech you, dearest mother, 
 be the least anxious about me. I am in God's 
 hands, therefore fear not for me. N'othing could 
 make my hands stronger than knowing that your 
 mind is at peace and quiet. We knov\^ that all 
 things work together for our good, that Jesus 
 loves us with an everlasting love, and that it is 
 not only in health that he is with us, but when 
 we come to die he will * comfort ' us, and bear us 
 safely through the valley of the shadow of death." 
 
 " On board the Orinoco, May 19th. 
 tc * * * Here we are, thank God, safe and 
 sound ! We expect the head-quarters from 
 Windsor at twelve o'clock to-morrow ; but it is 
 doubtful whether we sail on Saturday evening or 
 Sunday morning. And now, thank you from my 
 innermost soul for your precious letter. I could 
 say but little this morning ; and I feel now that I 
 cannot half express my intense gratitude for all 
 
142 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 your many acts of true-lieartod friendship. How 
 very, very kind of you to drive so far to wish me 
 a last farewell ! God bless you, dearest friend, 
 for this crowning proof of your affection, and re- 
 ward you a thousandfold for all you have done 
 for me and mine. I left you with a heavy heart 
 this morning, but your letter refreshed and com- 
 forted me very much. I read it over and over 
 again. Thank you for the beautiful pencil-case ; 
 it is doubly valuable from having been long worn 
 by you. I feel grateful to you for the interest 
 you have taken in poor Cottrell's wife. I have 
 desired him to write to her. Thank dearest 
 
 from me for every kind word she spoke to 
 
 soothe the sorrowing heart of that poor woman. 
 Tell her that this morning, in my cabin, alone, I 
 poured out my soul in prayer for her. * * * 
 In this world we must expect trials and sorrows ; 
 indeed, I think we should soon cease to feel our 
 constant need of Jesus if it were not so, and 
 willingly, yes, joyfully, do I hail any cross that 
 weans me more from the world and leads me 
 closer to Him. 
 
 " Excuse this hasty letter. I have everything 
 to do on board, as the rest are on shore. I w^ill 
 write as often as I can, if not oftener f * * * 
 Jesus has given me a strong desire to devote my 
 remaining days to His blessed service ; and O, 
 Heavenly Father grant me thy Divine grace and 
 mighty help that I may never bring dishonor on 
 
THE HOSPITAI.. 143 
 
 the sacred name of Christ ! I often fear lest any- 
 thmg I say or do should have this effect. O, for 
 a single eye to the glory of Jesus, that every act 
 might spring from the motive of pure and un- 
 feigned love to Him ! But beneath the cross we 
 are, thank God, safe and secure. He will carry 
 on the Avork He alone has begun in our hearts, 
 even until the day of Jesus Christ. God. bless 
 you all, exceeding abundantly above all I can ask 
 or think." 
 
 On board the Orinoco, Mediterranean, May 31st. 
 t; * * * Tl^e day we left the Bay of Gib- 
 raltar the secret of our destination was divulged. 
 We are to form part of an Anglo-French force in 
 Greece, for the purpose of bringing King Otho 
 to his senses. It is thought very probable that 
 we shall eventually be sent on to Turkey, but it 
 will be some months, at any rate, before this 
 most desirable event can take place. Still I feel 
 assured that everything is ordered by a wise and 
 gracious Providence, and therefore, it must be 
 for the best, however disappointing it may 
 appear. "We have had rather rough weather 
 since we left England, but the last two or three 
 days have been delightful. There are many 
 drawbacks on board ship, in a religious point of 
 view, but I have had glimpses of Jesus, and found 
 Him to be very precious to my soul. I have 
 established a Bible reading class, which num* 
 
144 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 bered six last Sunday — as many as the cabin 
 could contain! With several of my brother 
 officers, I have had most interesting conversa- 
 tions, and with some to whom I never spoke on 
 religious subjects before: and I believe that in 
 many a heart there is implanted a desire for that 
 which the world cannot give. Some of them will 
 not only listen attentively to what refers to their 
 eternal welfjire, but seem most anxious to renew 
 the subject. God grant that this time of trouble 
 and excitement may be made the means of 
 awakening careless hearts, and leading them to 
 Christ. 
 
 '-^ June 1. — ^We are now in Malta Harbor, and 
 expect to leave for the Piraeus in an hour's time. 
 A French frigate passed us this morning, the 
 men turned up and cheered her most heartily, to 
 which the Frenchmen responded as cordially." 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "PiR^us, June 3d, 1854. 
 "Ever Dearest Mother — By God's mercy 
 we have at length reached our destination. The 
 Orinoco let go her anchor about three o'clock 
 this afternoon. I got up very early this morn- 
 ing and went on deck. On either side of us 
 was high, rocky land, and here and there were 
 several islands, barren and uncultivated. We 
 steamed past Athens ; it is situated on the slope 
 of a hill, Avith high mountains stretching away on 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 145 
 
 both sides. As we kept out a considerable dis- 
 tance from land, we could not distinguish much. 
 In an hour we entered the harbor of the Pira3U8, 
 and here the scene tliat presented itself was very 
 novel. We had scarcely anchored, when tlie 
 rigging of the Leander, a British frigate, was 
 swarming with her crew, who welcomed us with 
 loud hurrahs ; answering cheers pealed from a 
 thousand throats, and scarcely had they died 
 away, when the band of the French flag-ship, the 
 Gomer, struck up ' God save the Queen,' and the 
 men clustered like bees in the rigging, waving 
 their straw caps, and cheering most heartily. 
 Vive VEmperexir^ sounding j^lain and distinct 
 from tlie quarter-deck of the Orinoco, was the 
 signal for renewed and long continued cheer- 
 ing. Hardly had they ceased, when all else was 
 drowned in tlie thundering of the saluting can- 
 non * * * The Piraeus is surrounded by 
 hills, the slopes of which are thickly studded with 
 the tents of the French ; indeed they appear to 
 be everywhere. They have a guard at the en- 
 trance of the harbor, and several outposts in the 
 town. * * * I thank God that, notwith- 
 standing many obstacles in various ways. He has 
 given me the power to keep near to Jesus ; in- 
 deed, I feel more than ever the comfort of re- 
 ligion. Pray for me, dearest mother, that I may 
 be kept faithful unto the end. This is indeed a 
 poor world without Christ. God bless you, dear- 
 13 
 
146 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 est, best of mothers, and may you W 'nlLtt t<H4j 
 the Holy Ghost.' " 
 
 TO MISS VICAKS. 
 
 " Magazine Guard, Pir^us, June 22d. 
 "My Darling Maey — Being on guard to- 
 day, I take the opportunity of writing to you, as 
 here I have both a table and chair, and my tent 
 can boast of neither. The heat is excessive, the 
 thermometer being 100° in the shade. You have 
 no idea what lassitude and disinclination for ex- 
 ertion creep over one ; but I tight against it as 
 well as I can. I have not yet seen Athens by 
 day; but on the 13th, I started about sunset with 
 a young brother officer, to have a moonlight view 
 of the Acropolis. After a dusty walk of six miles 
 we reached the famous city. We walked about 
 the streets for upwards of an hour, and met seve- 
 ral Greek soldiers armed with firelock and sword, 
 some of whom looked rather savagely at us. 
 Not knowing our way up to the ruins of the 
 Acropolis, we should have had some difficulty 
 in finding it, when luckily we met a Greek to 
 whom we had given a free passage from Malta, 
 and who spoke English tolerably well. He showed 
 us the way up the mountain. When we reached 
 its summit we passed through a low archway 
 which led to a small wicket gate, barred and 
 locked. On knocking we were roughly chal- 
 lenged by a sentry, whom we had evidently 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 147 
 
 aroused from his peaceful slumbers ! vYhen our 
 guide explained that we were English officers, 
 the door was quickly opened. We went ujj seve- 
 ral marble steps, and found ourselves in the vene- 
 rable ruins of the Acropolis. 1 never saw so 
 magnificent a siglit. The full moon was shining 
 in pale splendour ; high massive cokimns in good 
 preservation, stood out in bold relief; whilst 
 others, shattered by the Turkish cannon, during 
 the last w^ar, or mouldering from age, scarcely 
 reared their heads above the marble pavement. 
 But such a scene loses by description. I had 
 brought my Testament, in the hope that we 
 could read a quiet chapter together, on the spot 
 where Paul once preached 'Jesus Christ, and 
 Him crucified ;' but the chattering guide and in- 
 quisitive guard who accompanied us, prevented 
 our having this pleasure. From an old embra- 
 sure, about two hundred feet above the town, we 
 had a beautiful view of Athens. I could have re- 
 mained there for hours. Oh, how I wish you 
 could have been with us ! 
 
 " I enjoyed so much my first walk to Athens 
 that the next niglit I Avent there again with 
 another officer, and read Acts xvii., on "Mar's 
 Hill," by moonlight. We did not reach the Pi- 
 raeus till half-past tw^o in the morning ! While 
 we were away the Camp had a false alarm. One 
 of the sentries observed what he thought to be a 
 large body of armed men approaching ; and, giv- 
 
"148 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 ing the alarm, the men were quickly out of the 
 tents, and, amidst great confusion, began loading 
 their muskets, &c. After they had formed in 
 column — the French on each side being also un- 
 der arms — a party was sent to reconnoitre, when 
 the enemy was discovered to be a large drove of 
 oxen with their drivers! 
 
 " We expect to move into barracks in a day or 
 two, which will be much more pleasant. 
 
 " Dearest Mary, how it increases my love for 
 you to know that you are seeking after the same 
 Saviour, that you are following after Jesus. 
 
 " *0h, may we ever walk in Him, 
 And nothing know beside, 
 Nothing desire, nothing esteem. 
 But Jesus crucified.' 
 
 " A few of us have met together on different 
 occasions in one of the tents, and twice under the 
 rocks, for reading the Scriptures ; but when we 
 get into barracks I hope we shall be able to have 
 a regular meeting every day, as we did on board 
 the Orinoco. One or two of those who are en- 
 tering on the Christian course have much to en- 
 counter in the way of ridicule, but God will give 
 them strensjth and courag-e. 
 
 " I have nothing to put up with in this way 
 now ; the worst, by far the worst, of all my real 
 enemies, I find to be my own evil heart ; and it is 
 in conquering and overcoming this that the grace 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 149 
 
 of God and the power of the Holy Spirit are 
 shown in all their magnitude and restraining 
 force. 
 
 " Best love to you all, and to the chicks. My 
 love to dear Miss Strutt. God bless you all. 
 May we be kept close to Jesus. 
 
 "Ever, dearest Mary, your most deeply at- 
 tached and affectionate brother, 
 
 " Hedley.'" 
 
 " PiR^us, July 2d, 1854. 
 " Heaven's blessings upon you, dearest friend, 
 for your precious letters. I cannot tell you with 
 what delight I hailed your handwriting. Imme- 
 diately I sallied forth to my cave under the 
 rocl^s, where I had the rich enjoyment of reading 
 them undisturbed. How I long, with you, to 
 have my heart more entirely given up to my 
 blessed Saviour, to have every thought brought 
 into obedience to Him, and that the fruits of the 
 Holy Spirit may prove the reality of my faith, 
 making me more humble, more holy, more hea- 
 venly-minded ! Often do I fear, lest by word or 
 deed I should bring dishonour on the name of 
 Him we love ; but yet I feel a quiet confidence 
 that He will keep me by his grace and power, 
 and enable me to persevere to the end. There 
 is indeed great peace in simply believing, living 
 upon Jesus. What peaceful, happy hours are 
 those when Christ is the sole meditation of the 
 13* 
 
150 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 heart ; and even when earthly thoughts intrude, 
 or darkness fills the soul for a time, how sweet to 
 recollect that ' He knoweth our frame ; He re- 
 membereth that we are dust !' " 
 
 " PiR^us, July 11th. 
 
 *' How I bless God for his tender love and 
 mercy in restoring your beloved sister. I speak 
 but the truth of my heart, when I say that in 
 all your sorrow I suffer, and in all your comfort 
 I am comforted. 
 
 I had very strong faith that God would spare 
 her precious life, and restore her to health. May 
 every answer to our prayers make us, in depend- 
 ance upon Christ, wrestle the more earnestly in 
 every fresh petition, especially for heavenly bless- 
 ings upon our souls. So shall we have power 
 with God, and shall prevail. I have heard prayer 
 ridiculed, and insinuations thrown out that only 
 men of weak minds ever pray. Little do those 
 who thus speak know the real delight of prayer, 
 nor the deep joy when the answer comes. 
 
 " 'What various hindrances we meet, 
 In coming to a mercy-seat ! 
 Yet who that knows the worth of prayer, 
 But wishes to be often there ?' 
 
 *' But what a thought to fill our minds, when 
 we approach a throne of grace — that Jesus ia 
 pleading for us, and that owr prayers are His^ 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 151 
 
 " I greatly like the passage from Captain A.*8 
 letter, and rejoice in the hope that he has chose i 
 Christ Jesus for his portion, or rather that Jesi s 
 has chosen him ' before the foundation of the 
 world,' and written his name ' in the Book of 
 Life.' Tell him, in seeking and following Jesus, 
 he will find peace and rest to his soul. A hard 
 struggle it will be at first ; but ere long he will 
 find his Saviour's words to be true, ' My yoke is 
 easy, and my burden is light.' 
 
 a ^ ^- » Often do I join you in spirit at 
 your cottage readings and sacred prayer meet- 
 ings. What happy hours are those when, shut 
 out from all that makes the world unlovely, we 
 can enjoy uninterrupted communion with the 
 Lord's people ! It is so refreshing to know and 
 feel that Jesus is precious to other souls. The 
 Christian does not want a monopoly of that love. 
 There is enough and to spare for all. Oh, that 
 my comrades would be wise ; that they would 
 taste and see, ere they talk lightly of the love of 
 Christ, or rob Him of the glory of their souls' 
 redemption, purchased by the atoning blood of 
 his Cross ! Would that, not only they, but 
 every living man, drawn by redeeming love, 
 would let tlie Redeemer 'see of the trav.ail of 
 his soul, and be satisfied !' 
 
 " We generally get a few together for Bible 
 reading in the afternoon. Nares has been ill ; I 
 have had many a delightful talk with him on 
 
152 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 subjects that used to be of little interest to either 
 ^f us. 
 
 " I saw a Greek funeral the other day ; it was 
 : horrid sight. The corpse, dressed like a bride, 
 with trinkets and ornaments, and a wreath of 
 flowers round the head, was carried through the 
 streets in an oi3en coffin. Three or four fit 
 dirty-looking priests, holding large crosses, led 
 the procession, without even a mock air of grief, 
 but looking rather jolly than otherwise. 
 
 "I must now conclud'^ for it is just midnight. 
 You can have no idea 1 w the musquitoes have 
 been biting me under th. ^able, ever since I began 
 writing. Macgregor paid me a visit to-day : he 
 is quite a young fellow ; I like hira very much ; 
 we have had many conversations together : he is 
 another proof of the untold blessing of having a 
 pious mother, and a pious father too. * * * 
 
 " Give my love to that dear old Christian, Mrs. 
 Kipping, and thank her for her prayers. Tell 
 me how poor Mr. T ? I shall never forget his 
 telling me one d with tears in his eyes, ' I 
 cannot believe ! I ^ /; to believe !' I have often 
 prayed for him sin • * * * 
 
 TO Z. TWINING. 
 " PiRJSUS, Greece, July 19th, 1854. 
 " * * * I thank you from my innermost 
 soul, dearest friend, for tlie comfort and peace I 
 now enjoy : for leading me (as the instrument in 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 153 
 
 God's hands) to Jesus. And novv, having tasted 
 that the' Lord is gracious — having known some- 
 what of the love of Christ, I w^ould endeavour to 
 Avin my fellow sinners to Him — from vanity to 
 real enjoyment. 
 
 " Jesus is very precious to my soul — my All 
 in all. Often have I been on the point of falling 
 away, and yet His arm has held me up, and kept 
 me from bringing dishonour on His blessed name ! 
 To Him be all the praise and glory. 
 
 "Seasons of despondc-^cy and gloom I have 
 had, but my consolation;; Vave abounded also, and 
 I trust that I am seeking for more conformity to 
 Jesus in my life and conversation, through the 
 mighty help of His ever-blessed Spirit. But 
 with St. Paul, often in the agony of my soul am 
 I forced to cry out, ' Oh, w^retched man that I 
 am, who shall deliver me from the body of this 
 death ?' Yet with whom also I can say, ' I thank 
 God, through Jesus Christ c Lord.' * * * 
 
 " We are quartered here '^ the French, who 
 have upwards of 4,000 men. 'hey are in tents; 
 we are now in barracks. I*'., weather is very 
 hot, and the climate bad. V" are now in qua- 
 rantine, as the cholera has \ ken out amongst 
 the French. They have loh. two officers and 
 one hundred men. We have not lost a man ; but 
 it is a solemn time, and loudly calls upon each 
 of us, ' Prepai'G "".o meet thy God.' 
 
 " r feel very much being debarred fi'om the 
 
164 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 means of grace and from the communion of the 
 Lord's people ; but Jesus more than makes up for 
 every loss. There have been happy moments, 
 Avhen He has been very near, and when I felt 
 that I should wish to depart and be with Him." 
 
 To the same beloved and honoured friend (of 
 whom, with every member of his family, Hedley 
 Vicars ever retained the most affectionate remem- 
 brance) he had previously addressed these words, 
 which forcibly expressed the deliberate choice of 
 his soul : 
 
 " I would not, for all the world could give me, 
 go back to my former state. I have gained im- 
 measurably more than I have given. In exchange 
 for fleeting pleasures now, I have hopes of lasting 
 joys, which mortal eye hath never seen, nor ear 
 heard of, nor heart can conceive. I have been 
 brought into friendship with God, through the 
 merits and precious bloodshedding of my Re- 
 deemer and the influence of the Holy Ghost. 
 And in place of an aching heart, I have tasted 
 of a peace which passeth understanding." 
 
 Hedley Vicars was now to enter on the most 
 solemn period of his life. To those who watch 
 the guidings of the Divine hand, it will be scarcely 
 necessary to point out the wisdom of that Provi- 
 dence which led him to Greece, and kept him 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 155 
 
 there throughout the awful prevalence of the 
 cholei-a and malignant fever — a visitation which, 
 M'ithin the space of thirty-four days, deprived his 
 regiment of one hundred and twenty of its ablest 
 and finest men. 
 
 As no spiritual instruction was provided for 
 either Protestant or Roman Catholic soldiers, the 
 field was his own. He began his work by under- 
 taking the command of funeral parties for other 
 officers, who gladly relinquished to him a task so 
 little congenial to their feelings. In this way he 
 obtained frequent opportunities of addressing the 
 living around the graves of the dead, warning 
 them to flee from the wrath to come, and be- 
 seeching them to close at once with oiFers of free 
 pardon and mercy from that divine Redeemer 
 who is " the life of them that believe, and the 
 resurrection of the dead." 
 
 On the first of these solemn occasions his heart 
 was too full for words, yet the tears which stifled 
 his voice had an eloquence of their own for the 
 brave men around him. They reckoned not the 
 less confidently on his dauntless courage in every 
 hour of danger. 
 
 " One touch of nature makes the whole world kin." 
 
 The solemn and tender tone of his own feehngs 
 communicated itself to them, and thus were their 
 hearts opened to receive the message he so longed 
 to deliver. 
 
166 THE nosriTAi>. 
 
 It was " tlie love of Christ constrcainiiig" him, 
 and no mere sense of duty, which led Hedley 
 Vicars to spend the greater part of his days, and 
 often of his nights, in the pestilential air of the 
 crowded hospitals — 
 
 " Seeking, as men seek for riches, 
 Painful vigils by the bed 
 "Where the sick and dying stretches 
 Aching limbs beside the dead." 
 
 Dearer than life to him Avas the hope of persuad- 
 ing the dj'ing to look to Jesus, remembering the 
 breadth of the promise, " Look unto me, and be 
 ye saved, allje ends of the earth." And doubly 
 did he prize the opportunity, when the lighting 
 up of a dying eye at the name of Jesus assured 
 him that he was ministering to one of the breth- 
 ren of his Lord, for he was not unmindful of the 
 words, " I was sick, and ye visited me." 
 
 Whilst thus intently occupied in promoting the 
 spiritual welfare of the men of his regiment, he 
 was no less keenly alive to the best interests of 
 his brother officers. Although open opposition 
 on the part of those who diifered from him in re- 
 ligious opinion had long ceased, he did not know 
 until now how firm was his hold on their feelings 
 and confidence. When laid aside by illness, they 
 all welcomed his visits, and generally asked him 
 to repeat them. The reality of his religion was 
 now proved beyond all question. It had been 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 157 
 
 weighed in the balances with mere worldly mo- 
 tives of action, and had not been found wanting. 
 Confidence could no longer be withheld frbm 
 principles which had subdued to thoughtful tender- 
 ness for the souls of those around, a spirit amongst 
 the most buoyant and dauntless of them all. 
 
 " I have been thinking over the time we spent 
 at the Piraeus," writes a young brother officer in 
 whom Hedley Yicars was warmly interested, 
 " and will tell you of anything which strikes me. 
 I was constantly with Vicars there, and know 
 what his daily life was better, perhaps, than any 
 one else. But about that it is difficult to say 
 more than that he never for a moment seemed to 
 forget ' whose he was.' When we were in camp, 
 on first landing, he was in the habit of going out 
 alone for hours amongst the rocks on the sea- 
 shore, having only his Bible, which, I remember 
 his telling me, Dr. Marsh called ' his sioord.^ 
 
 " As you know^, of course, there was no chap- 
 lain for the English troops there. The chaplain 
 attached to the EnHish Leojation at Athens came 
 over to the Piraeus at first to perform a short 
 service in one of the barrack-rooms, but as soon 
 as the sickness broke out he was not allowed to 
 come. Part of the service was generally read, 
 on Sunday, by the officers to the men of their 
 own companies ; and the officers, in rotation, took 
 the duty, morning and evening, of burying the 
 14 ^ 
 
158 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 dead, which sometimes, of our Ei^glish regiment 
 only, exceeded ten daily. Iledley Vicars mider- 
 took this duty several times for others, and sel- 
 dom, if ever ^ performed it without adding a few 
 earnest words to the men present. Soon after 
 the sickness broke out he used regularly to visit 
 the hospitals, reading and pvaying with the dying 
 men, and taking every opportunity of speaking 
 of the 'one thing needful' to others. In these 
 visits to the hospitals he was sometimes accom- 
 panied by two or three of his brother officers, 
 one of whom. Major Colville, has since died in 
 the Crimea. 
 
 " With all his zeal, he was ever careful to avoid 
 giving offence. I have known him erase pas- 
 sages which seemed to speak harshly of Roman 
 Catholics from tracts he was about to distribute 
 generally amongst the men. Much as he abhor- 
 red Popery, he had the greatest' tenderness for 
 the feehngs of Roman Catholics. His constant 
 kindness and sympathy for all, of any creed, and 
 whether officers or men, is not easily to be de- 
 scribed. When others were depressed, he was 
 always hopeful. His spirits were hardly ever 
 cast down. 
 
 " All these things you must have heard from 
 others. The most remarkable thing about him 
 — his great consistency of life and conversation, 
 wdth his entire devotion to the one cause ever set be- 
 fore him — I seem to be unable to put into words." 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 159 
 
 The history of this solemn time is more fully 
 given in his own earnest letters : 
 
 "PiR^us, July 21st, 1854. 
 " * * * I know that what I have to tell 
 you will cause you great anxiety ; but the news- 
 papers will give you all particulars, whether I do 
 so or not. The cholera has been ras^ino^ here. 
 For some time it was with the French alone ; 
 but the day before yesterday we lost one man, 
 and since then, nine have been carried off by it. 
 O, dearest friends, pray that this fearful visitation 
 maybe the means of awakening solemn thoughts 
 in the stoutest hearts amongst my thoughtless 
 comrades, and leading them for pardon, peace, 
 and safety to Jesus the Saviour of sinners. Do 
 not be alarmed for me. Remember God's de- 
 light in answering prayer, and surely no man has 
 such praying friends as I have. How often the 
 happy hours we ha\ e passed together come be- 
 fore me, and I wonder whether we shall ever 
 have them over again | * * * Should I die 
 now, you Jcnoio my 07ily ground of hope, my 
 only confidence, my only assurance is in the cross 
 of Jesus Christ and in the knowledge that ' the 
 precious blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin :' 
 — words as full of sweetness and of consolation to 
 me now as on the day Avhen they were first made 
 to my soul, 'the power of God unto salvation.' 
 Death in this form, at all events, has its gloom 
 
160 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 even for Christians ; but then the sting, yes, the 
 sting^ is for theni comjDletely taken away." 
 
 "PiR^US, July 25 th. 
 
 « * * * j)gath has been busy amongst our 
 poor fellows since I last wrote to you. Twenty- 
 seven have died in seven days. I am quite well, 
 thank God, although in low spirits. How can it 
 be otherwise, seeing so many for whom I had a 
 regard cut off thus suddenly ? Several of the 
 officers of my regiment have been ill with fever. 
 They have been mercifully spared from cholera 
 hitherto. 
 
 "Do you remember poor young Reynolds, the 
 soldier whom you noticed particularly when you 
 gave the hymn-books to the men at Kensington 
 Barracks, and those kind words of parting- 
 counsel which they have never forgotten ? I 
 buried him and another comrade last night. I 
 had intended speaking a few words to my men 
 over the open graves of their dead messmates; 
 but it w^as as much as I could do to get through 
 the service; and as soon as I began to speak to 
 them afterwards I could not for the life of me 
 help crying like a child. The men cried and 
 sobbed around me. It Avas of no use to try to go 
 on, so I ordered them to ' fall in,' and we went 
 mournfully back to the barracks. 
 
 "Morning and evening the dead-cart leaves 
 the hospital for the grave-yard. It is all very 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 161 
 
 sad and solemn, but ' there is a silver lining to 
 the darkest cloud.' I believe that to many this 
 dread visitation of the Almighty has taught a 
 lesson which I trust and hope never will be for- 
 gotten. Alas! that so few have the comfort of 
 religion, the knowledge of Jesus Christ ! With 
 some of my brother officers I have lately had 
 most earnest conversations, and they have pro- 
 mised to come to my room that we may i*ead the 
 Bible together. O, that I may be enabled to 
 speak a word in season to their souls, and by my 
 poor feeble testimony to His tenderness and love, 
 lead them to that precious Saviour who died for 
 sinners! TVe meet for prayer every evening, 
 Tvith peculiar reference to the removal of this 
 grievous sickness, if it please God, and for the 
 gift of His Holy Spirit to sanctify this visitation." 
 ''''July 2Qth. — Since I wrote the above, live 
 more have '"'^d. One of them was my former 
 servant, poOi yar. I took the service for the 
 officer whose turn it was to command the funeral 
 party, and said a few words to the soldiers who 
 were standing around the graves, and asked 
 them to join in prayer with me. I heard the 
 voices of many, broken by their sobs. Not one 
 of these fine fellows would hesitate to face a can- 
 non's mouth or mount the deadly breach, yet 
 they shrink from the fearful ravages of this un- 
 seen_ foe. Will you all pray for my regiment ? 
 Pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon 
 14* 
 
162 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 them. Few are as yet prepared to die. God 
 bless and keep you all. In the midst of these 
 
 gloomy scenes I think as often as ever of L , 
 
 and, if possible, with even more overflowing 
 thankfulness and love." 
 
 ** PiR^us, August 12th. 
 c< * ♦ * Qj^g hundred and five have died 
 since the cholera broke out ; most of them were 
 amongst the finest, healthiest fellows in the regi- 
 ment. I have many opportunities now of speak- 
 ing both to officers and men, and trust and be- 
 lieve, in some cases, not without benefit. I have 
 taken the duty of burying the dead several times 
 out of my turn, as some of the officers have rather 
 an objection to it, and I have been enabled to 
 speak to the men after the service. They en- 
 deavour to join me in prayer very earnestly 
 around those open graves. As all ^' ^ officers, ex- 
 cepting myself and two oth^ ..ve been ill 
 either wdth fever or modifieu cholera, I have 
 regularly gone to read with them; and all are 
 kind, whilst many seem cordi-ally to desire more 
 of it. In one or two cases, from Avhat I knew of 
 the men when well, I thought the subject of 
 Christ crucified might not be liked ; but it^was 
 just the contrary ! The very fellows whom I 
 had most fear about speaking to were those who 
 listened most attentively and seemed to be the 
 most interested. 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 163 
 
 " In my own soni I have enjoyed a peaceful, 
 happy time, leaning on Jesus. It is true this a 
 spiritual desert, but seldom have I had more 
 hungerings and thirstings after Christ and holi- 
 ness. With David I can say, 'My soul thirsteth 
 for thee, my flesh longeth for thee, in a dry and 
 thirsty land where no water is.' But you have 
 taught me not to be selfishly engrossed with my 
 own spirit, but to seek to have my soul drawn 
 out to the hungry, to seek diligently after wan- 
 dering sheep ; and the deeper one's anxiety, the 
 deeper is one's interest and delight in the work. 
 Your precious letters help and sustain me. God 
 bless you for them. * * * N is most inte- 
 resting to me now. Trusting in the strength of 
 Jesus, I believe his mind is made up ' to follow 
 the Lord wholly.' He comes to my room every 
 evening, and we generally w^alk together. Four 
 companies have gone to the hills for change of 
 air. I never was better in my life, though, of 
 course, not quite so strong as when I left old 
 England." 
 
 "PiRjEUS August 18th. 
 cc * * * About seventy of my hundred and 
 seven comrades who have died of cholera were 
 men whom I well knew, as they entered the 
 service about the same time that I did. I do 
 hope that some, nay, that many, amongst them 
 were enabled to look to Jesus in their last mo- 
 
164 THE HOSPITAX. 
 
 ments. God grant we may find such to have 
 been the case when we all meet at the last day. 
 
 " Poor Cottrell has been ill again, but is re- 
 covering. The Scripture reading is in the ward 
 where he is, and he is very attentive, as indeed 
 they all are. The day before yesterday, whilst 
 going round the wards, I noticed one poor young 
 fellow who had been admitted about an hour 
 before. His eyes were sunken, and his hollow 
 cheek and blackened face proclaimed that this 
 fearful disease had seized upon him with the 
 grasp of death. I spoke to him for a little while, 
 and then passed on to others. The next day his 
 bed was empty. One of the orderlies told me 
 that he suifered much in his mind before he died. 
 He had his senses to the last, which is very un- 
 usual. It appears that he had been a Protestant, 
 but became a pervert to the Church of Rome. 
 He expressed a wish to die in his former faith, 
 and asked one of the men for a Prayer-book. 
 Not one was at hand. lie then said, 'Read me 
 the first chapter of the Gospel of St. John.' At 
 its close, he said he felt much relieved in his mind, 
 and died. Oh ! we %mll believe that he was ena- 
 bled to ' behold the Lamb of God which taketh 
 away the sins of the world.' I cannot tell you 
 how sorry I am that I was not there. One of 
 the orderlies would have come for me, but not 
 one could be* spared from the hospital. 
 
 " Last Sunday one of my brother ofiicers waa 
 
THE HOSPITAL. IBS 
 
 attacked with cholera, but he has, thank God, 
 got over it. I went to see him several times, and 
 talked to him about Jesus. Every time I went 
 he told me how glad he was of it. I write a line 
 by every mail now^ to tell you of ray safety. I 
 am enjoying great peace of soul, resting on Je- 
 sus, on Him alone." 
 
 "PiR^us, August 21st, 21^ 
 *' "No one can fancy in England what the ar- 
 rival of the mail is here, nor the power of letters 
 like yours to cheer one's heart when all around is 
 gloom and death. Your letters and your prayers 
 have nerved me to do many things which other- 
 wise I should not perhaps have attempted. I 
 feel that I can never tell you what a blessing God 
 has made you to me in every way. It w^as you 
 who first raised in my heart a really strong de- 
 sire to save souls, to win fellow-sinners to the 
 cross of Jesus Christ, not as a mere duty, but as 
 the heart's delight. I cannot express how deeply 
 grateful I feel towards yon, best and dearest of 
 all my earthly fiiends. But God knows it and 
 hears my poor prayers for you. * ♦ * 
 
 "You will be thankful to hear there is a de- 
 crease of cholera. The last man we have lost 
 (one of the Light company) was admitted into 
 hospital last night. Poor fellow, he suffered 
 most dreadfully ; it was quite painful to stand by 
 his bedside. I remained with him for nearly an 
 
166 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 hour, and spoke to him from time to time of Je- 
 sus Christ. But whenever the cramps came on, 
 his screams quite drowned my voice. On leavmg, 
 I shook hands with him (his were black and cold), 
 and told him to ' behold the Lamb of God which 
 taketh away the sins of the world,' to look to Je- 
 sus, whose blood cleanseth from all sin. When 
 I mentioned the name of Jesus he gave me such 
 a wonderful look, full of peace and resignation. 
 In less than four hours afterwards his soul had 
 fled. 
 
 " Only fifteen are in hospital now with cho- 
 lera; the fever hospital is still crowded; but 
 I should think no disease, except the plague, 
 can be so horrible as Asiatic cholera. I saw 
 its ravages in Jamaica, but that which has raged 
 here seems to have been of a more virulent na- 
 ture, and death has come on more rapidly ; it 
 so alters the countenance that often I have 
 been quite unable to recognize dying men whore 
 I found, on asking their names, that I knew 
 very well. 
 
 " My Scripture-reading and Prayer Meeting at 
 the hospital is better attended than ever. Last 
 Sunday I read the twelfth chapter of Hebrews in 
 one of the wards ; and after talking to the men 
 about it, felt my heart drawn out earnestly in 
 prayer for their souls. My chief, my only subject 
 "with them, is Jesus, and it is a theme, of which 
 I hope 7iever to grow tired. May God the Holy 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 167 
 
 Ghost bless my feeble words to their immortal 
 souls, for Jesus Christ's sake ! 
 
 " I want to persuade all the men of my regi- 
 ment that nothing would ever give me greater 
 pleasure than to read and pray with them, at any 
 hour, day or night, when any of them are ill or 
 dying, if they would only send an orderly to let 
 me know. 
 
 " With Cottrell, who is still in hospital, I have 
 had many earnest conversations. Corporal Far- 
 mer, Avhom I mentioned to you, is slowly sinking 
 of consumption ; he is very peaceful, restmg all 
 his hope on Jesus. The men, both in hospital 
 and in barracks, have read most eagerly the tracts 
 which I have distributed amongst them. Captain 
 Trotter added largely to my stock ; but I have 
 not one too many. I hope and pray that they 
 may be the means of leadmg numbers to search 
 the Scriptures. 
 
 "Thank the villagers at Beckenham for their 
 prayers for us. God bless them all." 
 
 " PiR^us, August 23(i 
 a * * * , Qq^ jj^g answered prayer for me 
 — both for body and soul. Tell dear Mr. Chal- 
 mers how very grateful I am to him for praying 
 for me at his prayer-meeting for the army. 
 
 " The cholera has again broken out in my poor 
 regiment. Last night poor S , of my Com- 
 pany, a fine powerful young man, was admitted 
 
168 THE HOSPITxVL. 
 
 into hos23ital ; he had been an orderly attending 
 on cholera patients, and had therefore seen many- 
 die. I went to see him several times in the 
 course of the night, but he would not speak or 
 listen to me ; he died soon after I left him for the 
 last time, and was buried this morning." 
 
 '•August 26tb, half-past 11 P.M. 
 
 " Nine men have died since the 23d — four 
 from the Light Company. We have suffered 
 more severely than any. Last night I was at the 
 hospital four or five times. I went especially to 
 see Egan, an old soldier, who had been seven- 
 teen years in my Company. Poor fellov/ ! he was 
 so grateful ; he said, when I wished him good-bye 
 for the last time, ' God bless yoii^ Sir ; and may 
 the blessings of an old man rest upon your head, 
 for coming to see and talk with an old comrade, 
 when stretched out like this. Yes, Sir, and you 
 have the love and blessing of every man in the 
 regiment.' I just tell you what he said, because 
 it will give you pleasure. I feel myself that I 
 have not done a quarter of what I ought to have 
 done. 
 
 "I had hardly got home from seeing Egan, 
 when I received a message by an orderly from a 
 young drummer, who wanted to see me again. 
 He was very ill of cholera, when I had spoken to 
 him before ; but it was thoug^lit that he would 
 recover. I hurried to the hospital, but the lad 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 169 
 
 was insensible. Ilowever, I offered np a prayer 
 over his bed, the men taking off their caps, and 
 joining in, as well as they could follow me. He 
 died soon afterwards. 
 
 " Sergeant Jackson was brought into hospital 
 at eleven o'clock this morning ; he was a man I 
 knew very well — much liked amongst the officers. 
 I went twice to-night to see him. The second 
 time his bed was empty. One hundred and 
 eighteen are now dead; all men in the prime 
 and vigour of manhood, except a few lads. 
 
 " The French are still dying in great numbers 
 every day. They have lost 700 men and five 
 officers, out of their small force in Greece. The 
 townspeople are clearing out as fist as possible. 
 Yesterday 500 left. The streets are quite deserted 
 except by French and English soldiers. 
 
 " Another company of ours started for Mount 
 Pentelicus the day before yesterday. I accom- 
 panied them about three miles. ISTares went with 
 them ; he did not like to leave me, and I feel 
 lonely now he is gone, for he was with me at all 
 hours of the day. 
 
 " Obert is the Captain of the Company which 
 has just left : he was very ill, but thank God ! he 
 is recovering, dear fellow. 
 
 *' I am so grateful to hear that we are remem- 
 bered in prayer by those blessed Christians at 
 Huntly Lodge. The Lord reward them !" 
 15 
 
170 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 "Sunday, August 27. 
 
 *'Our Scripture-reading and Prayer-meeting at 
 the hospital are still well attended. I always feel 
 refreshed and strengthened myself, whilst talking 
 of Jesus to others. Surely there is no subject so 
 delightful to a sinner as 'Jesus Christ, and Him 
 crucified.' God grant that his love may lead 
 many — all in my regiment — to take up their 
 Cross, and follow Him. I daily find Him to be 
 more lovely and precious to my own soul. What 
 I want now, whilst I have the opportunity, is, to 
 make others as happy as myself; for well I know, 
 from long and bitter experience, that until the 
 blood of the Cross speaks peace to tlie soul, man 
 is, for the most part, but discontented and miser- 
 able. And if this is the case when we are strong 
 and healthy, how much more so, when sick or 
 dying! Men often talk with unconcern of a 
 dying bed, when they think it distant, and refuse 
 to 'give way to weakness,' as they call it, by 
 thinking of it in time ; but it is seldom the dream 
 continues to the end ; and when the reality 
 flashes upon them, it is sometimes too late ! 
 Although even at the very last, Jesus is ready to 
 save, yet not a few give up all as lost, and die in 
 despair. 
 
 " But we will hope better things, dearest friend, 
 for the men of my poor regiment, and continue 
 to pray that the Dayspring from on high, which 
 hath visited us^ by the free grace and mercy of 
 
THE HOSPITAIL. l^l 
 
 Gocl, may be shed abroad over them all^ ' »;0 give 
 light to them that sit m darkness, and in tlie sha- 
 dow of death, and to guide their feet into the 
 way of peace.' God grant it, for Jesus Christ's 
 sake. 
 
 "It was not my servant whom you saw at 
 Kensington, who died of cholera, but a man 
 named Hillyar, who left me about a year ago. 
 Richard Young, I am glad to say, is well. I 
 often see him reading the book you gave him. 
 
 " I am advised to go to Pentelicus for a few 
 days' change, but have not made up my mind to 
 it, as I have plenty to do here. Certainly I shall 
 not go as long as the cholera remains here. It is, 
 I trust, leaving us now ; but such has been its 
 malignity that only twenty of those who have 
 been attacked with it have come out of hospital 
 alive. 
 
 " The army in Turkey has also suffered severely 
 from the pestilence. Rumours are now afloat that 
 we are to be sent on thither. We all desire it 
 most heartily. 
 
 " God bless you all. 
 
 " Ever, most beloved friend and sister, your 
 most attached and grateful brother, 
 
 . " Hedley Yicaes." 
 
 " The secret of the Lord is with them that fear 
 Him, and he will show them His covenant." 
 That covenant is " of life and peace," — words 
 
1^2 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 which had their peculiar charm for Hedley Vi- 
 cars. There Avas no morbid weariness of exist- 
 ence in him. Love and hope were strong in his 
 lieart, and the future had its own bright pictures 
 before his imagination. Death, in itself, was not 
 a thing which he desired ; he delighted in view- 
 ing it as a " mere incident in life.'''' His soul was 
 kept in peace amidst " nothing but death, death 
 on every side" (to use his own expression), be- 
 cause he knew and felt that " he that hath the 
 Son of God hath life ;'''' and with love to that 
 Saviour rising above all other love, he could then 
 write — 
 
 "Death is dreaded as a fearful thing to go 
 through ; but I think, with Jesus very near me, I 
 could welcome it to-morrow. The prospect of 
 meeting in a few hours that glorious Saviour, 
 whose love we can never conceive here in all its 
 magnitude, makes me long ' to depart and be 
 with Christ.' " 
 
 By the beginning of September the cholera 
 had disappeared from the Pirasus. Only the 
 103d Psalm now seemed to furnish -words warm 
 enough for the language of his grateful heart. 
 For a time he was cheered by the hope that the 
 impression left by this visitation on the minds of 
 a large number of his regiment Avas deep and 
 effectual ; but towards the close of that month, 
 we find him thus writing — 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 1^3 
 
 " Whilst I see, and bless God for it, a great 
 and visible change in many^ yet, alas ! in numbers 
 it grieves me to perceive that solemn impressions 
 are vanishing like ' the morning cloud or early- 
 dew.' To some of those I have spoken ; and if I 
 chance to meet them when alone, they express 
 sorrow and reo-ret for their ino-ratitude to the 
 God of all their mercies ; and I believe they often 
 mean {in a hind of luay) ^vhat they say ; but 
 when several congregate together, each becomes 
 afraid of what his comrade will think of him, 
 until it seems to be the careful endeavour of all 
 to appear as little serious as possible ! But 
 whilst I write this, I feel as bad myself; for, oh ! 
 what weak gratitude, what cold love have I too 
 often felt, to that great Father wlio has preserved 
 me through all the dangers which lately sur- 
 rounded me, even from ' the pestilence that 
 walked in darkness, and the destruction that 
 wasted at noonday.' 
 
 "And then again, with regard to His infinitely 
 greater love in sparing not His own Son, to ob- 
 tain eternal redemption for us, I sometimes think 
 I am one of ' the nine' who ' returned not to give 
 glory to God ;' and those words of Jesus seem 
 spoken of me, in touching tones of reproach, 
 ' Were there not ten cleansed ? But where are 
 the nine ?' Oh ! how often when, by the 63^6 of 
 faitJi, I see Him on the cross, or lying dead in 
 the tomb, I am pained to the quick by the cold' 
 16* 
 
174 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 ness of my evil heart and with the weariness and 
 want of love with which I ' remember Jesas.' 
 Should He have to ask us to remember Him ? 
 The promptings of our hearts should ever be, ' I 
 cannot forget Thee !' 
 
 " But we know, through the teaching of God 
 the Holy Ghost, that we should never have 
 thought of Jesus at all, or have loved Him in 
 the least, if He had not first loved us, and re- 
 vealed himself to our souls. Therefore, whilst 
 we mourn (/, at least, find need to do so often) 
 over our own hearts, we can^ and ^o^7/, and do 
 rejoice 'with joy unsiDeakable' in the never- 
 changing, never-dying love of Jesus Christ, our 
 blessed Saviour." 
 
 "I had a charming trip to Pentelicus. The 
 tents are pitched under fine lofty trees, large 
 hills completely surrounding the camp on every 
 side. Mountain torrents dash through the midst 
 of it, and baths have been constructed both for 
 officers and men. I enjoyed my few days there 
 very much, and thought how perfect it would 
 
 have been to me if L had been with me, to 
 
 enjoy the wild scenery and glorious moonlight. 
 But on this subject I have enlarged to herself! 
 I was gratified by seeing the change which had 
 taken place in one of my young brother officers, 
 with vhom J formerly joined in many a wild 
 frolic. I remember his once saying to me (I 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 175 
 
 think it was at Canterbury), when I had spoken 
 to him earnestly about his soul, ' Oh, Vicars, my 
 dear fellow, I believe in a call, and am only loait- 
 ing for a call. It is plain enough you have had 
 one. Why, the other day you were joulling 
 down lamp-posts with me ; and nov/ just look at 
 you !' But I trust that, in a severe fever which 
 he had here, he learnt that the ' call ' was ever 
 sounding in his ears, if he would but Hsten to it 
 — ' Whosoever will, let him drink of the water 
 of life freely!" 
 
 " I often feel myself a weak and helpless crea- 
 ture when defending the glorious 'truth as it is 
 in Jesus ' against the arguments of men for whom 
 He died, who yet deny Him. But I never enter 
 into discussion without first seeking the light and 
 aid of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me, so 
 that every word may be according to ' the mind 
 of Christ' — 'speaking the truth in love.'' To 
 men of my own age, I can now speak more boldly 
 than I could a little while ago. But I do find it 
 very hard to say anything on these subjects to an 
 old man. I pray to be enabled to do so, when 
 the occasion comes, with courage, but always 
 with deference and respect. 
 
 "I have lately had some conversation with one 
 of my brother officers who began the Christian 
 course about the same time that I did, but be- 
 came a sceptic afterwards. I think I see a re- 
 awakening. Oh! help me in praying that soon. 
 
176 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 ' in returning and rest, he may be saved ;' that, 
 accepting the mercy which the Gospel reveals, 
 he may soon find the reahty, the joy, the deUght 
 of the rehgion of Jesus Christ. 
 
 " Thank and bless all who have prayed for me 
 and my regiment during the time of the pesti- 
 lence. Especially thank your beloved friend, 
 Mrs. Mackenzie and her family, and Dr. Tetley 
 and their friends, for their united prayer on our 
 behalf. Who knows but that I may some day 
 have the pleasure of thanking them myself? 
 One day, by the grace of God, I shall." 
 
 TO MISS VICARS. 
 
 "PiR^us, Sept. 2^11— SOtli. 
 " * * * It is a very gloomy day, the sky 
 black and lowering, and the rain descending in 
 torrents. I was meditating just now on this 
 bleak scene of cheerless soUtude — my only com- 
 panion a little quail ! — and thinking over the 
 strange and often appalling sights my eyes have 
 looked upon, in the realities of death and the 
 grave, since God called me liere. As these 
 ideas floated through my mind, the train of my 
 thoughts suddenly changed, and the dismal view 
 without, and the cold and dreary room I occupy, 
 brought before me ' the Man of Sorrows ■ — Jesus 
 ' — who once weathered the stormy tempest for 
 you and for me, and of whom it may be said, 
 from the manger to the grave, that He had not 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 177 
 
 ' where to lay bis head.' It is so soothing to the 
 soul, in seasons of cloud and distress, to know 
 that Jesus hatli borne our griefs and carried our 
 sorrows, and to rest on the tender kindness of 
 Him who has said, 'As one whom his mother 
 comfortetb, so will I comfort you.' 
 
 " 'Jesus, lover of my soul, 
 Let me to Thy bosom fly, 
 While the billows near me roll, 
 "While the tempest still is high : 
 Hide me, my Saviour, hide, 
 Till the storm of life is past : 
 Safe into the haven guide I 
 Oh ! receive my soul at last.' 
 
 " Oh ! dearest Maiy, it is well to have the 
 love of Jesus Cbi-ist in it's reality in our hearts. 
 What solid peace and rich enjoyment we obtain 
 by ' looking unto Jesus !' Where else shall 
 we behold the boundless love of our Heavenly 
 Father? 
 
 " What else could have led me to the side of 
 men dying of j^estilence, for how could I have 
 spoken to these poor suifering creatures of the 
 love of God, but by ' looking unto Jesus ?' And 
 to whom could I implore them to look, but to 
 Jesus ? Baptismal regeneration. Church privi- 
 leges, the sacramental system, confession, and 
 priestly absolution may do for some people when 
 in health, but no smile of joy from a sick man, I 
 believe^ would ever be the fruit of such miserable 
 
178 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 comforters in the last hour. When a dying man 
 can say or feel, 'I know that my Redeemer 
 liveth,' he vrants no more ; it is Jesus he thirsts 
 for and longs to hear about. I have witnessed 
 the effect of even the name of Jesus. I have 
 noticed a calm and peaceful look pass more than 
 once over the ghastly face of the dying as that 
 blessed name passed my lips. May we not hope, 
 dearest sister, that (as it was with the dying 
 thief) even at the hour of death, faith in the 
 blood of Jesus, breathed into the soul by the 
 Holy Ghost, has set more jewels in the Redeem- 
 er's crown from among the soldiers of the 97th 
 Regiment ? God grant that when you and I are 
 summoned before the bar of Christ we may meet 
 many such, ' clothed with white robes, and palms 
 in their hands !' 
 
 " It is sad to think what harm even well- 
 intentioned people may do by wandering away 
 from the cross in their dealings with sick men. 
 I remember I used often to visit at Halifax a 
 Corporal Craney, of the 42d Highlanders, who 
 was left behind in hospital when his regiment 
 went away. One evening when I went to see 
 him, he said to me, 'I am so glad you are come, 
 Sir, for you always speak to me of Him of whom 
 I love to hear, even Jesus, my precious Saviour. 
 But just now. Sir, I had a visit from a gentleman, 
 who said to me, with a loud voice and harsh tone, 
 "Kow, are you srre you have repented of your 
 
THE HOSPITAL. l79 
 
 sins ? Are you certain you are not deceiving 
 yourself?" ' Now, is not this worse than use- 
 less, when a man lias given clear evidence of 
 repentance and living faith? Wiien one has 
 reason to suspect the sincerity of a man who 
 professes faith in Jesus, then, still keeping before 
 his eyes the cross of Christ to prevent despair, 
 probe and search him deeply, and endeavour to 
 make him examine himself; but never open a 
 wound Avithout instantly giving the remedy. 
 There are hypocrites in the world, v/e all know 
 — men who, while they talk witli earnestness of 
 their love to the Saviour, yet virtually crucify 
 Him in their lives ; and much scandal is brought 
 by them on the Church of Christ. But it is not 
 the preaching of a free Gospel, as some suppose, 
 that makes them so, but their own total igno- 
 rance of the saving doctrines of the cross, and of 
 the power of the Holy Ghost upon their hearts. 
 
 " I do not think I ever told you of Craney's 
 happy death. Shortly before he breathed his 
 last, he asked Dr. Twining to read Romans viii. 
 to him. As he read, the dying man's breath 
 became shorter and his face brighter ; and as the 
 last Avords fell upon his ear — ' Nor height, nor 
 depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to 
 separate us fi-om the love of God, which is in 
 Christ Jesus our Lord' — he said, 'Thank you, 
 Sir ; that vnll do^'' and died. 
 
 *'I have no news to tell you, my darling sister. 
 
180 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 You will, of course, have heard of the grand vic- 
 tory gained by the Allies over the Russians. 
 Whilst I would not have missed the time of the 
 cholera, or have been absent a day while my 
 regiment suffered from its ravages, yet, I must 
 confess, I should have wished to have been now 
 at the post of danger — the proper place for a sol- 
 dier. I do not think my chief motive in this de- 
 sire is the wish for military distinction, although 
 ready and willing to do my duty as a soldier. I 
 trust my motives are more in accordance with the 
 mind of Christ. The carnage of the battle-tield 
 has no attractions for me ; but there is a wide 
 lield for missionary laboui-, when the roar of the 
 cannon lias ceased, and the deadly strife is over. 
 There are wounded men who have souls to be 
 saved, and dying men to be told to ' look to Je- 
 sus ;' not to speak of the comfort to a poor soldier 
 of having a 'friend in need.' Of this I am sure, 
 that the private soldiers are most grateful for any 
 kindness from an officer, especially when they are 
 sick and in hospital, and they think and talk 
 much of officers Avho thus visit them, and en- 
 deavour to cheer them in their dreary wards. 
 But as God has so ordered it that we should 
 lemain here, 1 desire to give up my own will 
 about it." 
 
 There was a tone about his letters during the 
 latter part of the month of September, which im- 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 181 
 
 pressed us with the idea that his health and spirits 
 Avere somewhat failing. For some time after the 
 trial of the cholera season was over, he continued 
 to be a constant visitor at the liospitals, where 
 fever cases were still numerous. But doubtless, 
 ic w\as the extent of his exertions during those 
 weeks Avhen he had watched day and night beside 
 the suffering and the dying, w ith an intensity of 
 interest in their undying souls, which produced 
 too severe a tension of his nervous system; so 
 that, when the call for exertion had passed 
 away, he sunk into a state of extreme physical 
 weakness. This, in its turn, produced a mental 
 depession, which cast its shadow upon his reli- 
 gious experience. No man could be so keenly 
 alive to spiritual joy without an equally exquisite 
 susceptibility to spiritual suffering. ^" Where you 
 find your greatest pleasures," said an old Divine, 
 "there expect your deepest sorrows."^. Yet how 
 different are these from "the sorrow of the 
 world which worketh deatli." 
 
 In a letter, written early in October, Hedley 
 Yicars thus expresses himself: 
 
 "You seem to know my state by intuition, and 
 never fail to speak comfort to my heart and soul 
 by your letters, ^yhat dark and cloudy days are 
 these, to one whose heart has tasted how sweet 
 and precious Christ is, when the Saviour with- 
 draws the light of his countenance, and seems to 
 10 
 
182 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 leave the soul (whom, nevertheless^ He has pro- 
 mised — blessed truth ! — never to foi-sake), wlien 
 those glorious promises, which were ' the joy and 
 rejoicing of the heart,' fall heavily on the car, and 
 fail to bring Jesus home to the soul. I suppose I 
 have a more than commonly stony heart, but the 
 Lord is softening it, and causing me, at any rate, 
 to icish to be more like Christ. 
 
 '■''At first, when I heard that my precious L. 
 had been ill — whilst I knew the Lord would not 
 afflict willingly — I found myself a most unbeliev- 
 ing creature, when faith was most wanted ; and 
 even now, whilst I am praying most earnestly for 
 her, and for you, and for L e to be fully re- 
 stored to health and strength, I fear that it is not 
 with that humble submission to our Father's will, 
 which true faith in his love should impart, follow- 
 ing the example of our blessed Redeemer, in say- 
 ing, 'Xot my will, but Thine be done.'" 
 
 But it was not for any length of time that the 
 Master, who loved him, left his faithful servant to 
 w^alk in darkness, and have no light, or at best 
 with but a twilight glimmering from that Sun of 
 Righteousness, who was about to rise again and 
 shine upon his soul with healing in his wings, 
 and scarcely to withdravr Himself any more, until 
 the everlasting day broke, and the shadows of 
 death fled away. 
 
 On the ]8th of October he writes : 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 183 
 
 "I have bat just emerged from clouds which 
 have obscm'cd Jesnis from my view. I seemed to 
 wander in thick darkness, without my loving 
 Redeemer near to be my stay and delight. But 
 great blessings are often sent to us after short 
 trials ; and such I think I am now finding. The 
 Lord Jesus has arisen upon me, and has made 
 His glory manifest to my soul. I feel less tied 
 doi07i to this world than I did, and more ready 
 Ho depaj't and be with Christ.' Sometimes I long 
 to do so, from fears lest I should ever (I will not 
 say foil away, but) do anything which would dis- 
 honour my Saviour. And yet what is this but 
 cowardice — wishing to leave the battle-strife of 
 earth for the repose of heaven, with Jesus ? Oh, 
 rather would I wait patiently, and look for the 
 coming of the Lord ! Shall we not hail that 
 bright and glorious day ? ' The Spirit and the 
 Bride say, Come,' and our hearts echo, ' Come, 
 Lord Jesus !' Then shall no anxious fears for 
 those whom we love, disturb our hearts, warning 
 ns that the joys of friendship and of love must 
 end for a time in the cold and dreary grave, for 
 then we shall be changed for ever, and 'the body 
 of this death' shall be 'fashioned like unto his 
 glorious body,' and we shall be together v.nth the 
 Lord, beholding the majesty of Him who was 
 slain for us — of Jesus, the King of kings, and 
 Lord of lords. * ^- ^• 
 
 "I knew you would enter into my disappoint- 
 
184 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 ment in not having been ordered on to the Crl 
 mea ere this. To say I have not felt it (yes, and 
 deeply, too!) would be saying what is not true. 
 But I hope I can leave it now in the hand of my 
 God and Saviour, sure that He orders everything 
 for the best. 
 
 " And is it true that William Gregory is dead ?* 
 It grieved me very much to hear it. I loved 
 him so heartily, and cannot help sorrowing for 
 him. I had so looked forward to his honest, 
 kindly welcome when I get back to England, if 
 God spare me to return. But we shall walk and 
 talk of Jesus again, in His presence, I believe. 
 
 " I greatly enjoy the thought that you three 
 are reading the second lesson for the morning 
 each day with one. It adds not a little to my 
 pleasure. I have lately changed my quarters, and 
 have now got a j^alace of a room, with a beautiful 
 view of the sea, or rather, the harbour. 
 
 " Nares and Macgregor are in the same build- 
 ing with me, and Ensign Derman,f who was lately 
 promoted from Serjeant-Major, and in whom I 
 
 * A railway workman, at one time employed at the Crys- 
 tal Palace, who was reported to have died of cholera, but 
 has survived to mourn his friend. 
 
 f Ensign, afterwards Lieutenant, Dorman, an ofiScer of 
 great promise and of high religious principle, who waa 
 raised from tho ranks, and afterwards promoted to the Ad- 
 jutancy of his regiment. He was mortally wounded in the 
 trenches before Sebastopol on the 18th of August, 1855. 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 185 
 
 am Liiich interested ; so that I am surromided by 
 those I should wish to have near me. With 
 Derman I have had several most delightful con- 
 versations, and I believe he will come out boldly 
 on the Lord's side. Decision and courage at first 
 are absolutely necessary for an officer who wishes 
 to become a soldier of the cross. Without such 
 he will have endless difficulties and trials, and 
 will have no peace given him by those who op- 
 pose, until he returns to the allegiance of the god 
 of this world, or oi^e fearlessly shoics his colours?'' 
 
 There was another trial to which he was to be 
 subjected, which, though short, was not slight to 
 a heart so keenly alive to anxiety regarding those 
 it loved. Early in October it was stated at the 
 Horse Guards that the 97th had been ordered on 
 to the Crimea. But a delay w^as occasioned by 
 the want of a transport at Malta to convey the 
 8d Buffs to replace the 97th in the Piraeus. On 
 the 15th of Xovember, with the Orinoco again 
 for their transport ship, in the highest spirits, this 
 gallant regiment proceeded to the Crimea," eleven 
 hundred strong." In ignorance of this delay, 
 Iledley Yicars' family and friends addressed their 
 letters to the Crimea from the middle of October. 
 When the mistake was discovered, no small self- 
 accusation was felt, for a want of forethought in 
 having omitted to despatch letters to both quar- 
 ters, until '.he news had ariived that he had sailed, 
 IG- 
 
186 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 But noio it is more painful still to read the anx- 
 ious inquiry and gentlest reproach, more implied 
 than expressed, to those who would never willing- 
 ly have caused one solitary pang to tliat gallant, 
 noble, tender heart. 
 
 But the stirring change in his circumstances, 
 brought about by the order from the Horse 
 Guards, considerably diverted his attention from 
 these anxious thoughts. It has been seen how 
 ardently his soldier heart and missionary spirit 
 alike yearned to be at the seat of war. That 
 devoted constancy of courage which had enabled 
 him to face Deatli in the pestilential hospital — 
 stripped of all his glories, and clothed in the sad 
 garb of weakness and decay, yet armed with tor- 
 tures, was now to be exercised in the field of 
 military action. 
 
 In addition to the excitement of this immediate 
 prospect, new responsibilities, fall of interest for 
 his genial spirit, now devolved upon him. He 
 obtained his company, by purchase, on the 3d of 
 ISTovember, and devoted himself with almost 
 fatherly interest to the welfare of his men. 
 
 His own letters will best tell his thoughts and 
 feelings on leaving Greece for the Crimea : 
 
 " PiR^us, Nov. 2(i, 1 854. 
 " The order has at length arrived for ' the 97th 
 Regiment to hold itself in readiness for immediate 
 embarkation to join Lord Raglan's army.' The 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 187 
 
 Buffs are now on their way from Malta to relieve 
 us, and will probably be here in two or three 
 clays. We are all busily prejDaring for active 
 service, so I have not much time to spare ; but as 
 there may not be another opportunity, I hasten to 
 write a few farewell lines. There are times when 
 the heart feels more powerfully drawn to those 
 whom it loves best. It is so with me now, as I 
 recall to mind that beloved friend with whom I 
 have had such heavenly intercourse, and from 
 whom I have ever experienced such kindness as I 
 can never foro^et. Mav the sfreat God who has 
 kept and preserved us until this day, continue to 
 guard and watch over you, and may your hope, 
 and joy, and love increase as you journey on the 
 homeward road towards that happy land where 
 Jesus reigns, and where He is waiting to re- 
 ceive us ! 
 
 " Before this letter reaches its destination, we 
 shall probably be in front of the enemy. God 
 alone knows whether we shall ever meet again in 
 this world ; but, after all, what are the few short 
 years we might have lived in the enjoyment of 
 each other's friendship liere, compared to that 
 endless eternity we shall spend together beyond 
 the grave ? My soul has lately had to weather 
 many a stormy billow, but (and I know it will 
 delight your heart, ever dearest friend, to hear it) 
 I feel quite peaceful and happy now ; my own 
 strength was feeble to resist; but Jesus has cod- 
 
188 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 quered Satan, and never did I love tha? bl-^s^^d 
 Saviour more than I do on this day. 
 
 " ' Through all the changing scenes of life, 
 In trouble and in joy, 
 The praises of my God shall still 
 My heart and tongue employ. 
 
 " * Of His deliv'rance I will boast, 
 Till all that are distrest 
 From my example comfort take, 
 And charm their griefs to rest.' 
 
 " Yesterday I was on guard. About twelve 
 o'clock at night, whilst reading 2 Cor. v., I had 
 such inward joy and peace and comfort, that I 
 felt strongly inclined to awaken the poor fellows 
 who were stretched asleep on the guard-bed in 
 the adjoining room to pray with them, and to 
 talk to them of the love of Christ ! i^nd thus it 
 is (for it seems so selfish to keep all this happiness 
 pent up in one's own heart when it might be 
 shared by others), whenever I have been brought 
 nearest to my Saviour, even ' into the holiest by 
 the blood of Jesus,' I have been constrained and 
 forced, ' while the fire burns,' to ' speak with my 
 tongue,' and to make use of the golden hours of 
 communion Avith Jesus in the solitude of my 
 chamber, to publish, when 'I go without the 
 camp,' what the Lord Jesus has done for my 
 soul ; eve7ifor me, than whom a man more unde- 
 serving of his mercy does not exist. I felt so merry 
 
THE HOSPITAT.. 189 
 
 and happy in that miserable gnard-room yester- 
 day. I always make it a rule, after reading to 
 the men the ' orders of the guard,' to warn them 
 against the too prevalent habit of swearing, and, 
 to my great delight, during my whole tour of 
 duty, I did not hear one oath ; and, in addition 
 to this, I had the pleasure of hearing several 
 times the rustling of the leaves of the tracts I 
 had given them ; and two or three times, as I 
 passed through their room, I could see them 
 poring over them ; and about nine o'clock in the 
 evening. Sergeant Stephens, drawing his chair 
 (an empty cask turned upside down) near the 
 fire, proposed to read tloud, to which a general 
 assent was at once given, and he read a tract 
 called ' The Young Naval Officer' to a most 
 attentive audience. I was reading my Bible 
 wdien he commencecl, and I could not help stop- 
 ping and listening. I cannot tell you how^ happy 
 I felt as I heard him recounting the history of a 
 soul brought to Jesus by the power of the Holy 
 Spirit, and earnestly did I pray that some of 
 those poor fellows might also be led to behold 
 that same Saviour bleeding for them on the cross. 
 " It grieves me to think of the sorrow it will 
 
 cause to my L and to you should anything 
 
 happen to me ; but for myself, I fear not. If I 
 were trusting to myself in any icay^ I might 
 indeed tremble at the whistling of every bullet, 
 and dread being simimoned in an instant before 
 
190 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 the judgment-seat of Christ ; but I ^an see no 
 eaiise for alarm, even at the veiy moment when 
 soul and body are about to separate, with the 
 crimson cross in full view. 
 
 " ' For ever here my rest shall be, 
 Close to Thy bleeding side ; 
 This all my hope and all my plea : 
 For me the Saviour died.' 
 
 " I intend to carry constantly about with me a 
 Testament, my little hymn-book, that precious 
 little Book of Psalms you gave me, and also your 
 last gift, which I have 'found such a feast to my 
 soul, 'Hawker's Morning Portion.' I think with 
 these I can get on very well in the Crimea. I 
 had a large meeting of officers in my room for 
 prayer last Sunday afternoon. A number of 
 the sergeants and corporals Avere coming next 
 Sunday, but I suppose we shall not spend an- 
 other Sunday here ; however, there is nothing to 
 prevent our having our little meetings in the 
 Crimea. 
 
 "I received your precious letter of the 15th 
 on my return from a march into the country this 
 afternoon. I thank God you are all well again. 
 Thank you again for your deeply-valued prayers, 
 and thank all those who have so remembered me. 
 May such proofs of Christian love lead me in like 
 manner to remember, v>'hen I kneel before the 
 Lord, all my friends and acquaintances. The 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 191 
 
 cholera has broken out at Athens, and several 
 people have died ; but, from accounts received 
 to-day, it appears to be ah'eady subsiding. 
 
 "The French troops quartered here are anx- 
 iously expecting the arrival of the transports to 
 take them on to the seat of war. I pity the poor 
 Buffs, who are to relieve us, and remain in this 
 dull place. The Avhole 97th Regiment, officers 
 and men, are delighted at the j^rosjDCct of measur- 
 ing their strength with the ' Roossians' (as the 
 soldiers call them). 
 
 " There cannot be a doubt that it is a just war 
 we are engaged in ; and therefore I say with 
 them, the sooner we are ' let loose' the better. 
 I think the Russians will find the ' Celestials' 
 rather awkward customers to deal with ; nous 
 verrons! There are some people, I know, who 
 cannot imagine how any Christian could ever join 
 the deadly strife of battle ; but I can only say 
 that with such I do not agree (and I am sure you 
 do not either), so that I shall not flinch from 
 doing my duty to my Queen and country, the 
 Lord being my helper. 
 
 " I consider war to be a dire calamity, but, as 
 much a visitation from the Almighty as cholera 
 or any other scourge ; and as on the appearance 
 of that dreadful malady, we do not sit quietly 
 down and let it take its course, but very rightly 
 (trusting in the blessing of God) use every pre- 
 caution, and employ every means to drive it from 
 
192 THE HOSPITAL. 
 
 amongst us, so in tlie case of this war with the 
 Russian despot. He has made an aggression upon 
 a country (one of our oldest allies) which had 
 given him no just cause of provocation, and has 
 thus disturbed the peace of Europe, and let loose 
 upon us the horrors of war, and shall we Britons 
 let him have his own Avay, and tamely look on ? 
 God forbid ! Rather will we, the Lord being 
 our ' Shield and buckler,' crush the evil, and re- 
 store peace and quietness to the land. 
 
 "A large steamer came in this morning for 
 two French regiments that are to go on to the 
 Crimea. We are anxiously looking out for our 
 steamer." 
 
 " Ox BOARD THE ORINOCO, November ITth. 
 
 "The ship came into the Piraeus so unex- 
 pectedly, and was off again with us on board so 
 very soon, that I had not a moment's time to 
 write to you at stai'ting. 
 
 " The little packet, sent in tieptemher^ arrived 
 the day before we left Greece. I cannot tell you 
 what delight it gives me. Williams has, indeed, 
 been most successful. The little picture has really 
 the beauty of a miniature with the truth of a 
 daguerreotype. jSTothing else in the world could 
 liave been of so much value to me. It brings her 
 60 forcibly to my memory -^ -^ * God grant 
 I may soon have good news of you all, 
 
 "I cannot imagine why I have not heard for 
 
THE HOSPITAL. 193 
 
 SO long a time. You would not, I Jcnow^ willingly 
 deprive me of my greatest earthly solace. 
 
 " Farewell now, dearest, best of friends. May 
 grace and peace be multiplied unto you ! 
 
 " I have much to distract me now ; but, in 
 ' looking unto Jesus,' I find still, as in happier 
 times, comfort and peace. 
 
 "Blessings on you all. 
 
 " Ever your most deeply attached friend and 
 brother, 
 
 " Hedley Vicars." 
 17 
 
IX 
 
 " The feigned retreat, the nightly ambuscade, 
 The daily harass, and the fight delayed, 
 The long privation of the hoped supply, 
 The tentless rest beneath the humid sky. 
 The stubborn wall, that mocks the leaguer's art, 
 And palls the patience of his baffled heart : 
 Of these they had not deemed. The battle day. 
 They could encounter as a veteran may; 
 But more preferred the fury of the strife 
 And present death to hourly sufi'ering life." 
 
 The miseries of the winter before Sebastopol 
 have passed into history. It is not needful here 
 to describe the sufferings of our country in the 
 persons of her bravest sons, or to recall the un- 
 forgotten story of her dearly-bought victories. 
 Battles won, against overwhelming numbers, on 
 the cold soil of the Crimea, by weary men, worn 
 down by hunger, bore terrible witness to the 
 quenchless nature of British courage. The men 
 who stormed the heights of Alma — who, in the 
 dreadful fight of Inkermann, conquered again 
 amidst fogs and darkness — who at Balaklava, 
 " charged a whole army, while all the world 
 
WINTER BEFORE SECASTOPOL. 195 
 
 wondered ;" — such men had proved their steel. 
 Yet there is a limit to human endurance ; and 
 when men of this mould have heeyi seen to weep^ as 
 on night after night, succeeding days of starvation 
 and toil, they were ordered to their work in the 
 freezing trenches, who can estimate the exhaust- 
 ing misery they had first endured ? 
 
 It was amidst scenes like these, and sadder 
 still — on the mud-iloor of the liospital-tents, that 
 Hedley Vicars' faith was to have its last trial. 
 Sharing, as he did, in no sliglit measure, the gen- 
 eral toil and privation, with the superadded 
 amount of suffering inseparable from his piiiver 
 of strong sympathy, he was ever fulfilling the 
 apostolic injunction, " Bear ye one another's bur- 
 dens." His faith was not permitted to waver. 
 Through the long dark night of that winter, its 
 lamp never wanted oil, but burnt with a clear 
 and steady light which cheered, not only those 
 around, but also cast its bright reflection upon 
 praying spirits three thousand miles distant. 
 
 From the north of Scotland to the south of 
 England, there were people of God, who gave 
 Him thanks for the cheerful hope, and fa^th 
 working by love, which breathed through the 
 language of this young soldier's letters. 
 
 It has been remarked by a keen observer of 
 human nature, who himself passed through the 
 same ordeal, that in the course of that winter in 
 * Crimean Correspondence. 
 
196 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. ' 
 
 the Crimea, the individual characteristics of men 
 stood out m more striking colours than could 
 have been seen under other circumstances. The 
 selfish became more tenaciously selfish than be- 
 fore, whilst those who were capable of rising to 
 the heights of self denial, lived a life of daily 
 heroism. 
 
 The reader will be prepared to hear that 
 Hedley Vicars ranked amongst the last. To 
 give only one or two of many instances which 
 have been mentioned by his brother officers, or 
 by the men of his regiment, is all that can be 
 requisite here. 
 
 During the severe cold of that winter, the only 
 bed he allowed himself was made of stones and 
 leaves, until a fur rug arrived from England, 
 which he felt w^as invested with a kind of claim 
 of friendship to be retained for his own use. 
 Everything else which could bear the name of 
 luxury, or even of common comfort, was given to 
 the deeper necessities of the suffering soldiers. 
 
 Towards the end of November, he was in com- 
 mand of an outpost, which was not only an im- 
 portant position, open to the attack of the ene- 
 my, but was also a Picquet, furnished by the 
 97th. On either side of it vrere hills, covered 
 with stunted brushwood : in front was a ravine, 
 leading to Sebastopol. Here, by day, a subal- 
 tern was in command of fifty men ; by night, the 
 captain on duty with fifty more. The first forct> 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL, 197 
 
 was then sent up to a ca 'e on the left of the 
 ravine, where a breastwork had been thrown np. 
 For nearly three weeks, the party defending the 
 outpost had to sleep in the open air, or at best 
 under roofing made of bushes, through which the 
 wind and rain freely penetrated. At length, 
 however, two tents were pitched — one for the 
 company, the other for its oflicer. Hedley gave 
 up his own tent to his men, and continued to 
 rough it in the open air, considering himself 
 more hardy than many of them.^' 
 
 There is in many of his letters at this time 
 a singular combination of almost apostolic de- 
 votedness and love, with tlie gallant ardour of 
 the soldier — leading to an almost boyish anticipa- 
 tion of a "brush with the Russians." 
 
 Perhaps the best illustration of this twofold 
 life, so to speak, is given in the following letter : 
 
 TO LADY RAYLEIGH. 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, Nov. 29th, 1854. 
 " My own Darling Clara — I received your 
 delightful letter yesterday, together with three 
 from Beckenham. I think I never had a richer 
 treat. I was grieved to hear of your severe ill- 
 ness, but thank God you are now recovering. It 
 
 * This circumstance was also mentioued to the writer, 
 with grateful appreciation, by a private of the 4th Light 
 Dragoons, when in hospital in England, many months after- 
 wards. He said, "It had been much thought of amongst 
 soldiers in the Crimea^" 
 
 17^^ 
 
198 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 rejoices my heart to hear that you enjoyed so 
 much of the presence of the Lord Jesus. When 
 sickness is thns blessed, how earnestly can we 
 say with David, ' It is good for me to have been 
 afflicted ;' I love the Lord for having brought me 
 closer to Himself God grant that when you are 
 restored to health you may never forget the love 
 of that blessed Saviour who was with you in the 
 long hours of pain and weariness, when no eaithly 
 friend could help you. 
 
 " O, beloved Clara, may the merciful pity and 
 love of Jesus constrain each of us to adore Him 
 more, and to give up our whole hearts to Him ! 
 Let us earnestly pray for more faith in His aton- 
 ing sacritice, for ' the love of Christ' is but an 
 empty sound to us until we have by faith seen 
 Him nailed to the cross /or us. Oh, may we ever 
 think of Jesus as our best and dearest Friend and 
 Brother, one whose loving-kindness never ciianges; 
 and then, in that great day when the tliorny 
 crown shall be replaced by the royal diadem, and 
 Jesus as Lord of all shall ask, ' Lovest thou me?' 
 our hearts may be able to answer with humility, 
 and yet with confidence, ' Lord, thou knowest all 
 things; thou knowest that I love thee.' * * * 
 Thank you for praying for me. I must tell you 
 that I never was in better health than at this 
 time, nor in better spirits, as far as I am myself 
 concerned. 
 
 "We had delightful weather while sailing up 
 
WINTES BEFOKE SEBASTOPOL. 199 
 
 the Bosphorns ; the scenery was charming, but 
 the large white hospital at Scutari gave nie ra- 
 ther a sickening feeling at my heart. In the 
 Black Sea we encountered very stormy weather, 
 but came all safe in sight of the Crimea on the 
 afternoon of the 19th, and the same night anchor- 
 ed in a small bay. The sea was covered with 
 floating pieces of wrecked vessels, many ships 
 having been lost off the coast but a few days be- 
 fore ; and some of our fellows sav/ dead bodies 
 floating about. The harbour of Balaklava is 
 very small, and the entrance narrow. Here 
 about a hundred sail were anchored side by side, 
 all of them more or less damaged, some entirely 
 dismasted. 
 
 '' We did not go on shore till the evening of 
 the 20th. The rain poured in torrents all day. 
 We landed in boats, and were well drenched be- 
 fore we reached the encamping ground, and 
 looked more like drowned rats than live soldiers. 
 It was dark before the tents were pitched. Par- 
 ties were at once sent out to collect firewood, the 
 wrecked vessels furnishing us with ample mate- 
 rials. Soon, camp-fires were blazing in all direc- 
 tions, and officers and men gathered round them 
 to dry their clothes and warm themselves, for the 
 nights here are bitterly cold. I can assure you 
 I enjoyed some cheese and biscuit not a little. 
 But before I looked after myself, I saw my com- 
 pany as snug and comfortable as ' adverse cir- 
 
200 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 cumstances would admit of,' and afterwards 
 made them a little speech around the bivouac 
 fire, combining, as well as I could, some religious 
 advice with a few words about our duties as 
 British soldiers, and ended by saying, *Lads, 
 while I have life I will stick to the colours, and I 
 know you will never desert me.' (My position 
 in hne is next to the officer who bears the regi- 
 mental colours.) The poor fellows cheered me 
 long and loud. I have had very little trouble 
 with them — less so by far than others complain 
 of. Indeed (though I say it, that should not), I 
 know they like me and would do anything for 
 me ; and all officers who treat soldiers like men 
 with the same feelings as their own, and take an 
 interest in their welfare, find they do not see 
 much insubordination nor want many courts-mar- 
 tial. Yet I am very strict with my men, but 
 they soon get accustomed to this. About ten 
 o'clock I read by the light of the first bivouac 
 fire Psalms xxiii., xc, and xci., with Captain In- 
 gram, and derived great comfort and peace from 
 them. One of my brother officers came up to 
 warm himself while I was reading, and begged 
 me to go on (not that I had any intention of 
 stopping.) God grant that he may soon find ' a 
 dwelling in the secret place of the Most High,' 
 even in the heart of the Lord Jesus; and be able 
 to say, ' The Lord is my Shepherd, I will not fear 
 what man can do unto me.' Resting on Jesus, 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOrOL. 201 
 
 my precious Saviour, I ^\ent to sleep securely. 
 My bed was made of dry leaves, with a stone for 
 the pillow, and but for the biting cold, I should 
 have slept Uke a top. 
 
 " The regiment fell in at daybreak. We had 
 a fine view of the surrounding country. En- 
 camped on our right was the brigade of High- 
 landers, their tents stretching away on the 
 heights above us. Beneath lay the burial-gi-ound, 
 in which the Turkish soldiers were continually 
 burying their dead. Far away in our front was 
 the plain with the battery beyond, in endeavour- 
 ing to take which the Light Cavalry suffered so 
 fearfully. Through our telescopes we could see 
 the Russians moving about like bees. Our lines 
 are very extensive, and naturally strong, all the 
 country around being hilly. I took a stroll into 
 the country, and enjoyed the First Epistle to the 
 Thessalonians, sitting in the dry bed of a moun- 
 tain torrent. From the top of a mountain range 
 covered with brushwood, I had a fine view of the 
 cavalry encampment. 
 
 " In the afternoon I walked into Balaklava, a 
 miserable place, the streets indescribably dirty. 
 Many British, French, Turkish, and Tartar sol- 
 diers were moving about in all directions. I saw 
 several men of the Guards looking very different 
 to the appearance they present in St. James's 
 Square, with unwashed faces, tattered coats, and 
 trousers patched with red and gray. Dead cattlQ 
 
202 TniSTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 were lying by the \^ayside, and others were 
 quietly dying. The condition of the once beauti- 
 ful horses of the Scots Greys was such, that a 
 butcher would have been ashamed to be seen 
 driving one in his cart. 
 
 " Our things are still at Balaklava, and so are 
 the stores ! But my servant managed to get a 
 piece of bullock for my subaltern and myself, on 
 which we fared sumptuously. 
 
 " In the night we heard a sharp firing of mus- 
 ketr}^ ; it lasted some time, relieved occasionally 
 by the booming of artillery. N'ext day we heard 
 that Lieutenant Tryon and fifteen men of the 
 Rifle Brigade had been killed in a brush with the 
 enemy's advanced picquets. However, our fellows 
 completely defeated them and took their position. 
 
 " On the morning of the 22d we received the 
 order to march for the lines before Sebastopol, and 
 came in sight of the white tents of the French 
 and English, after a rough march of seven miles. 
 Vestiges of war were to be seen all along the 
 road. Ten dead horses were laid in one place 
 side by side, and the ground was strewn with 
 shell and round shot. The Zouaves turned out 
 as we passed their camp, and cheered us most 
 vociferously. We returned the cheer with as 
 hearty a goodwill, and soon after reached our 
 ground. The tents were soon pitched, and, al- 
 though very wet, I never slept more soundly in 
 my fife. We w^ere scarcely settled, when the 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 203 
 
 rolling of cannon from Sebastopol and the French 
 and English batteries began, and I may say, that 
 ever since they have been going at it continually. 
 
 "On the morning of the 25th I walked up the 
 hill in our front, and had a fine view of the mag- 
 nificent fortress and harbour of Sebastopol. I 
 could clearly see the masts in the water across the 
 mouth of the harbour, where the Russians have 
 sunk their men-ofwar. Whilst admii-ing the 
 place, a cannon ball from one of their botteries 
 whizzed past my ear. I was afterwards told that 
 the Russians think nothino: of firinor shell and 
 round-shot when they see even one of our fellows. 
 This seems to me like a sportsman going out 
 to shoot snipe with a rifle. The weather has 
 been very stormy, and our poor men are dying 
 flist from cholera, brought on by exposure and 
 W'ant of warm clothing. We have already buried 
 about twenty-two in four days, and a great num- 
 ber are in hospital. 
 
 " The duty has been very severe in the trenches, 
 distant about three miles from our camp. I was 
 in them from five in the afternoon till five the next 
 morning, and also on out-lying picquet the whole 
 of the following night, sleeping in the open air, 
 with a few bushes over me. I could hear the 
 polling of a great bell in Sebastopol, and the 
 voices of the Russians working at their fortifica- 
 tions, as plainly as could be. On the night of the 
 2Vth I took a prisoner who was prowling about, 
 
204 WINTER BEFOKE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 fully believing I had hold of a live Russian ; but 
 on examining him by daylight he turned out to 
 be only a Turkish soldier ! their long light grey 
 coats are so much like the Russians. ^N'o hope of 
 ' cataracts' now. Indeed for a day or two I had 
 not water enough to fill a bath for a midge ! But 
 yesterday I got a pint to wash my face and hands 
 with, for sorely they needed it. We have nothing 
 to complain of in the way of rations. I get one 
 pound of salt pork and as much biscuit as I can 
 eat every day. The other day my subaltern and 
 a party of men gave chase to a young bullock 
 close to the Russian lines. They caught him, and 
 we made a capital dinner of part of him this 
 afternoon. 
 
 " We are all anxiously waiting for Lord Rag- 
 lan to storm Sebastopol; for, though we must lose 
 many in doing it, yet anything would be better 
 than seeing our fine soldiers dying as they are 
 daily. What should be done is to go at it at once, 
 without more dilly-dallying ! 
 
 " I have not seen a clergyman or a missionary 
 yet. How I should enjoy meeting one who would 
 talk to the men simply about the cross of Christ ! 
 The Holy Ghost always blesses such preaching. 
 We have meetings in my tent for Scripture- 
 reading as often as we can get together, and 
 dehghtful seasons they are." 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEVASTOPOL. 205 
 
 " December 1st. 
 
 "I have just returned from another night in 
 the trenches. The rain is descending in torrents. 
 Last night, whilst standing opposite an embra- 
 sure, serving out to my men their allowance of 
 grog, a shell whizzed over my head within a foot, 
 The men made a most humble salaam, but I soon 
 got them on their legs again, by threatening to 
 withhold the spirits. The enemy gave- us a few 
 more shots, one of which hit the ground so near 
 as to send the gravel into my face. 
 
 "The accounts of the Russians killing our 
 wounded officers and men are too true — confirmed 
 by all here. Poor Sir Robert Newman was left 
 wounded on the ground during the temporary 
 retreat of his regiment, the Grenadier Guards; 
 when they returned, he was found stabbed through 
 the head and body in several places. 
 
 "I saw the rude tablet erected over his grave 
 at Balaklava. These words are engraved on it — 
 ' And I say unto you, my friends. Be not afraid 
 of them that kill the body, and after that have no 
 more that they can do. But I will forewarn you 
 whom ye shall fear : Fear Him which after He 
 hath killed, hath power to cast into hell ; yea, I 
 say unto you. Fear Him.' (Luke xii. 4, 5.) 
 
 " We all hope soon to have an opportunity of 
 thrashing these savages, and have not a doubt we 
 shall do so when we come across them. 
 
 *' I am scrry to hear of the Romish nurses 
 18 
 
206 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 being sent to Scutari to attend promiscuously 
 upon Roman Catholics and Protestants. I know 
 enougli of Popery to dread its artifices. I pray 
 God to pr-^vent them from turning away, to other 
 mediators, any dying eyes from a dying Saviour. 
 
 "In the trenches, the other day, one of our 
 men amused us much. At the first shell which 
 passed close to him, he dropped down on his 
 back, screaming aloud for a doctor, for he was 
 ' kilt entirely.' The doctor ran up to him, and 
 asked where he had been hit, when he exclaimed, 
 ' Och, och, doctor ! clane through the blanket ! !' 
 
 " I have the tent to myself to-night, Brinkley 
 being on duty in the trenches. It is curious what 
 delightful dreams I have every time I fall asleep: 
 now I am at Terling, surrounded by all your be- 
 loved faces ; then again at Beckenham, with those 
 I love so dearly ; at another time I am going to 
 read to old Sophy ; again, sitting by the blazing 
 fire in the drawing-room, telling tales of the war 
 to dear John ; and awake to find my teeth chat- 
 tering in my head, a sharp stone sticking into my 
 side, the wind howling in gusts and squalls, and 
 a concert of cannon and small shot, with varia- 
 tions from English, French, Turkish, and Russian 
 performers, instead of a chant in the hall. 
 
 " It is stated that 20,000 French have landed at 
 Euphatoria, and, as a set oif to this, that 30,000 
 more Russians have entered the Crimea ; but 
 whatever their numbers may be, with God's help, 
 
■VYKiTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 207 
 
 we are sure to beat them. They surprised us at 
 Inkermann, but yet we repulsed them with great 
 slaughter ; the British bayonet settled the busi- 
 ness ; they fight well though ; in that battle it 
 was a regular hand-to-hand encounter. A ser- 
 geant of the Scots Fusilier Guards told me that 
 he saw a Guardsman and a Russian both dead, 
 with each other's bayonets transfixed in their 
 bodies. Campbell, a young officer of the 30th, 
 who was in the 97th at Canterbury, had four or 
 five balls in his clothes ; one of them took oif the 
 tail of his red coat, in which was his purse, con- 
 taining nine pounds ! The night before last, one 
 of my beautiful dreams was dispelled by a shak- 
 ing of my tent, and in answer to ' Who is there ?' 
 I received the reply, ' Please, Sir, a staff-officer 
 has just ridden into the camp to bid us be ready 
 at a moment's notice ; the Russians are moving 
 on our right flank.' ' All right,' said I, and com- 
 mending myself to my Heavenly Father, fell fast 
 asleep again, knowing I was all ready for a mo- 
 ment's notice. However, we heard no more of 
 it. While I write, musketry is hard at work and 
 cannon roaring. Our fellows say the Russian 
 cheer is a pitiful whine, very unlike the British 
 war shout ! * * * I am so glad to hear you 
 
 had such a pleasant visit from and . 
 
 They write with so much love and affection of 
 you, dearest sister, that I lave them more than 
 ever. I trust we shall yet have many happy 
 
208 "WrNTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 meetings of oiu* united families in this world ; 
 but if God wills it otherwise, we cannot, after all, 
 be long separated. 
 
 " I often feel sad and low when I think of 
 
 dearest , for I fear that he has not yet been 
 
 reconciled to God through the blood of the ever- 
 lasting covenant. If I am to die in this war, it 
 would soothe my last hours were an angel to 
 whisper that he was safe — safe for time and for 
 eternity. If he once tasted how good and gra- 
 cious the Lord is, and felt in his own soul the 
 safety, confidence, and peace of abiding in Jesus, 
 all worldly pleasures would lose their charm for 
 him. Give my best love to our dearest mother. 
 Oh, how my heart yearns for one more embrace ! 
 
 "It is with difficulty I manage to scrape to- 
 gether time and materials for writing. My best 
 love to dear Edward when you see him, and to 
 dear Lord Rayleigh. May God bless him in 
 body and soul. My love also to dear aunt Caro- 
 line, my darling godson, and all the children, and 
 don't forget old Sophy, Mi-s. Aves, and Mrs. 
 Richardson. Ever, my own darling Clara, your 
 most affectionate and deeply-attached brother, 
 
 " Hedley," 
 
 All his letters were written in the highest 
 spirits on first landing in the Crimea. The " es- 
 cape from a winter of being quietly shelved in 
 the Piraeus," as he expressed it, to the centra 
 
WINTER BEFOP.E SEBASTOPOL. 209 
 
 of the scene of action, the necessity for constant 
 activity, and the calling forth to the uttermost of 
 his early love of adventure, " dearer for danger," 
 all combined to increase his buoyant tone. " It 
 is no use doing things by halves," he wrote on 
 the 2d of December, '' we must go at it hammer 
 and tongs! The men are dispirited, naturally 
 enough, by losing so many of their comrades 
 from cholera. I can answer for it they would 
 soon cheer up if they were led against the Rus- 
 sians." 
 
 To his second sister he writes by the same 
 mail, " The rain is pouring in torrents, but I have 
 this night been in bed, for a wonder, so I shall 
 have a little time to diy ; but I pity the poor fel- 
 lows in the trenches — 200 men of ours and 700 
 of other regiments. The men of all the British 
 regiments are dying in numbers every day, and 
 many are buried without any funeral service. 
 We are now, to mend matters, placed on half 
 rations ; but I was never much of an epicure, so I 
 am quite contented with what they give me. In- 
 deed, I have no patience with fellows who are al- 
 ways grumbling. Our hardships certainly are 
 very great, but as soldiers we ought to bear them 
 without a murmur. Many officers, I hear, are 
 now resigning their commissions. I can only say, 
 shame on those who desert their country in her 
 time of need. We all made a great mistake in 
 not bringing warm clothing with us here. I did 
 18* 
 
210 WINTER BEFOKE SEBASIOPOL. 
 
 buy a comforter though, which is more than most 
 fellows can say. Thank God I am very well, 
 and in high spirits, only hoping that Lord Rag- 
 lan will soon let us try our hand on the Russians." 
 But this soldier-hke letter does not close with- 
 out an expression of his deeper feelings : " If, 
 even now," he writes, after alluding to the dis- 
 tractions of the scenes around him, " when sin 
 clings to us hour by hour, and the world with its 
 passing interests so often obscures the pardoning 
 cross from our eyes, we yet love the very name 
 of Jesus, how much more in heaven shall our re- 
 newed natures rejoice when w^e behold the Lord 
 of glory, and sit down in the mansions He has 
 prepared for us ! Oh, then, precious sister, from 
 whom I may soon be parted here, remember 
 Jesus, and never be ashamed to confess Christ 
 crucified ! Jesus has bled for us, has redeemed 
 us, has saved us. Oh, let us not cause his once- 
 w'ounded heart to bleed again for us, but, looking 
 for heavenly aid, let us seek never to grieve Him 
 more." 
 
 ' On landing in the Crimea, his heart was cheer- 
 ed by finding a packet of letters which had been 
 accumulating for three weeks or more. " I had 
 begun to fear before I left the Pirseus," he wrote 
 in another letter, " that something was w^rong ; 
 but you Would have felt with me that it was 
 worth while to have had the suspense, if you 
 could have seen me w^hilst I was reading those 
 
WINTEE BEFOKE SEBASTOPOL. 211 
 
 precious letters on my arrival here (besides my 
 budget from Terling). My heart and arm are 
 nerved 7iow^ and I am utterly indifferent to hard- 
 ships or external trials of any kind. * * * It 
 is six months since I have been within reach of a 
 house of prayer, or have had the opportunity of 
 receiving the Sacrament ; yet never have I en- 
 joyed more frequent or precious communion 
 with ray Saviour than I have found in the 
 trenches or in my tent. When, I should like to 
 know, could one find a Saviour more precious 
 than when bullets are falling around like hail ?" 
 
 Ten clays later he gives an account of " such a 
 happy Sabbath," and speaks of his thankfulness 
 in receiving the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper 
 after having been so long deprived of it : "I am 
 delighted to say we had twenty officers there. I 
 like what I have seen of the chaplain to our divi- 
 sion, Mr. Parker, very much. He has hard work 
 indeed, but seems to love it, because it is the 
 service of Christ Jesus." 
 
 In the warmth of new friendships he did not 
 forget old and sacred ties, as the following ex- 
 tract will prove : 
 
 " My very Dear Dr. Twining — I have only 
 time to write you a few lines, as I have but small 
 leisure here. I write for two reasons : first to 
 thank you once again for the great blessing you 
 have been to my soul Words cannot express 
 
212 
 
 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 how deeply grateful I am. You have been, in 
 the hands of God, the means of bringing me 
 from the hard service of Satan to the delightful 
 service of Jesus ; and at this time, when any 
 moment I may be called hence, I wish once more 
 to offer to you my heart's most fervent thanks. 
 God bless you, and fill you with peace and joy. 
 May the cross of Christ ever speak comfort to 
 your soul, and may you find in the day of the 
 Lord Jesus, that you have been the blessed 
 means of bringing many to Him." * * * 
 
 TO MISS VICARS. 
 
 " December 12th. 
 " I am for the trenches to-morrow morning at 
 three o'clock (T shall be relieved at six o'clock in 
 the evening). I think more of the pouring rain, 
 and standing in thick mud all the time, than of 
 Russian grape and bullets ; but, you see, we must 
 be content to have both ! You will be sorry to 
 hear that sickness is still prevalent ; and I am 
 afraid this rain, which began again yesterday, 
 after three days of fine weather, will fill the hos- 
 pitals. Two officers and forty poor fellows were 
 sent down to Balaklava yesterday for the re- 
 covery of their health. It was pitiable to see 
 them. Few, if any, will ever return. I saw them 
 off yesterday morning; some wept as they wished 
 me good bye. They were so delighted to get the 
 t;acts and Testaments I had brought with me, 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 213 
 
 that they began reading them aloud as soon as I 
 put them into their hands. 
 
 " We have been Hving like princes lately. I 
 sent my servant the other day to Balaklava to 
 forage for me, and he returned with onions, pota- 
 toes, a ham, bread, and (would you believe it ?) 
 a case of salt butter ! You may imagine what a 
 dinner we had, and with what excitement we 
 opened the tin of butter ; but our faces did not 
 look so jolly when our noses proclaimed, that it 
 was rancid ! However, I managed to eat it, 
 nevertheless. I have been praised by the colonel 
 more than once for the state my company' is in, 
 so I am as happy as possible, except for the daily 
 diminishing ranks of my poor regiment. 
 
 ''''Dec. 18th. — I am, thank God, quite well — 
 never better, and what is more, clean / You know 
 my weakness for ' cataracts.' Well, I have con- 
 trived to get one every day for nearly three 
 weeks ; but then I take more pains to get water 
 for myself than most of the fellows. I dined to- 
 day off soaked biscuit fried with lard — a capital 
 dish ; boiled ration pork, very good ; potatoes, 
 middling; with mustard and salt — my wine being 
 weak rum and water. I am sure drinking spirits 
 is a bad plan, and, besides being injurious, makes 
 a man colder than ever an hour afterwards. Each 
 officer and man is allowed a gill of rum daily, but 
 I never drink even the half of mine, often none at 
 all. I went on picquet this morning at half-past 
 
214 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 four o'clock with fifty men ; it rained hard for 
 about an hour, the remainder of the night being 
 fine. I kept up a jolly fire all through, and en- 
 deavoured to ^vrite a letter to darling mother 
 whilst seated opposite its blaze, but I could only 
 get fitful gleams, bright enough to see to write, 
 so I had soon to give up. I read the First Epis- 
 tle of Peter, and then, folding my cloak around 
 me, and stretching myself close by the watch- 
 fire, I was sound asleep in ten minutes, notwith- 
 standing the roar of cannon and rattle of musket- 
 ry which kept up a concert during the night. 
 
 " Thank you, my own darling Mary, for your 
 last dear and affectionate letter. It aifected me 
 almost to tears, with its deep tone of sisterly 
 love. Strange would it be if I did not love you 
 fondly in return. You say my letters always 
 ' cheer and invigorate you.' Surely I may say 
 the same, if not more, of yours." 
 
 All this time the Prayer-meetings were con- 
 tinued in his tent at every opportunity ; and, 
 wearied and worn as he was after nights on 
 picquet or in the trenches, frequently before he 
 rested he w-as found in the hospital tent. " In 
 weariness and painfulness, in watch ings often," 
 he became " in labours more abundant," and his 
 work of love carried with it its own reward, 
 even at the time, as we learn from his letter of 
 the 15th of December, besides the blessed re- 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 215 
 
 membraiice of the promise for tlie future, " Yerily 
 I say unto you, a cup of cold water given in my 
 name shall in no wise lose its reward." 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, Dec. 15th. 
 " On picquet the other night I was looking up 
 at the bright moon and staus, thinking of the 
 power and love of Him who made them, and of 
 the star in the East which ' came and stood where 
 the young child lay,' and the Saviour's sorrows 
 and sufferings from Bethlehem to Calvary passed 
 in review before my mind. ''' * '•' This after- 
 noon, whilst speaking to our poor fellows in the 
 cholera hospital, who were lying cold and com- 
 fortless on the bare ground, rays of sunshine 
 seemed to illumine that charnel tent as I brought 
 the crucified Saviour before those men, for tears 
 glistened in many an eye, and the smile of hope 
 and peace was on many a lip. I feel it indeed a 
 pleasure and a privilege to talk to my sick com- 
 rades and fellow-sinners of Jesus; and I am sure 
 that they who never visit the suffering and dying 
 deprive themselves of the deepest happiness this 
 life affords. It is painful, often heartrending^ to 
 witness agony we cannot alleviate ; to see the 
 distorted face and hear the cry of anguish of 
 friends and comrades. But it is sweet to be the 
 bearer to them of glad tidings of joy and peace 
 through the great Redeemer's atonement and 
 love; and to see some of them gently falling 
 
216 \yii!?TEE BEFORE SEBA3T0P0L. 
 
 asleep murmuring the life-restoring name of 
 Jesus. I have seen these^ and I cannot find 
 words to tell the delight of hope which has then 
 filled my breast. * * * The weather, which 
 has been for three or four clays fine and frosty, is 
 now again damp and rainy; but I have got a 
 pretty good tent, and the rain that does find its 
 way through the roof, is capital for drinking! 
 
 "You will be glad to hear that precious little 
 book of hymns was a great comfort to one of my 
 sick brother ofiicers. Major Colville. I went to 
 see him the night, before last, and read him two 
 or three. He seemed much delighted with them. 
 Poor fellow ! he was sent down yesterday to 
 Balaklava. I do not expect to see him again in 
 this world.* 
 
 " We are expecting every day to meet the 
 enemy in open field or to storm the fortress. I 
 wish they could go at it, at once. Be not 
 anxious about me. I am safe in the arms of my 
 Saviour — Ifeel it, I hnoio it — in life or in death. 
 
 '^ Dec. IQth, 11th. — I have only returned about 
 half an hour from the trenches of the advanced 
 work, where we have been since half-past four 
 o'clock this morning. The rain poured in tor- 
 rents all night. We turned out in the midst of 
 it (three ofiicers and 200 men), and started for 
 the rendezvous, where detachments from the 
 
 * This amiable and excellent officer died at Scutari shortly 
 afterwards, regretted by the whole regiment. 
 
WIXTEK BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 217 
 
 seyeral regiments assemble, previous to marcli- 
 ing off together for the trenches. We ha'd to 
 ford two mountain torrents, vAuch considerably 
 damped our feet and legs, if not our ardour! 
 When we reached the ground, the rest had gone 
 on ; so we followed as well as we could, tumbling 
 in the mud at every step. We arrived at last 
 opposite the 21-gun battery (Gordon's), and the 
 rain having suddenly changed to snow, we pre- 
 sented rather a wintry appearance, as we entered 
 the covered way. This was, in parts, knee-deep 
 in mud, through which we plodded, not without 
 great exertion. As we cleared the way, we 
 passed a poor fellow of the 77th Ilegiment, lying 
 on the bank, wounded in the shoulder, and soon 
 after we encountered a sharp fire of musketry, 
 and a spent bullet struck me in the left side, but 
 without doing me the slightest harm, thank God. 
 I offered up a sliort prayer of gratitude and praise 
 to my Heavenly Father who had thus preserved 
 me. We lined the trench without any casualty, 
 but the weather was so bleak and cold that we 
 were obliged to walk about to keep ourselves 
 w^arm, regardless of the bullets which kept flying 
 about our ears like bees. A marine was mortally 
 hit in the breast soon after, and I saw the poor 
 fellow carried past on a stretcher. He died in 
 less than half an hour. As one of my men was 
 walking up and down close to the rampart, a 
 Minie ball hit him behind the ear. He fell on his 
 19 
 
218 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 side, and died without a groan. I buried him at 
 dusk outside the trench. Poor Robert Tiirton ! 
 sudden and a\vt\u was tliy death. What and 
 ichere were thy last thoughts as death met thee 
 in that short walk ? The Russian sentries did 
 not molest us whilst we were digging the grave, 
 although they must have heard us quite distinctly. 
 We can hear them talking and coughing at their 
 works. 
 
 ''^ Dec. 11th. — Another of my company died this 
 afternoon. The regiment has now lost about 
 sixty since we came here, and other regiments 
 are losing in like proportion. There is great talk 
 now about our soo7i going ahead to storm. I 
 trust they will not delay much longer. I do not 
 care in the least for fatigue and hardship myself, 
 but it is sad and painful to lose one's comrades 
 every day. Owing to the weather, we were un- 
 able to have Divine service to-day with the di- 
 vision, but several of us met together in the tent, 
 and we shall again this evening, please God. 
 
 " On my return from the trenches last night, I 
 found great comfort in reading the first chapter of 
 the first Epistle of Peter, although as soon as I 
 had finished it, I went off to sleep like a top ! 
 The other night the Russians made a sortie on the 
 French advanced batteries; we were turned out, 
 but our gallant allies drove them back without 
 our assistance. We had, however, a good view of 
 the firing, which was kept up with a thundering 
 
"WInt:er before sebastopol. 219 
 
 roar, the glare making the sky look like a scroll of 
 fire; it was kept up steadily for about two 
 hours. 
 
 " I have great hopes for some amongst our poor 
 sick fellows just sent to Balaklava, that they havo 
 cast themselves on the mercy of God in Christ. 
 They were so earnest to be read and talked to 
 about Jesus Christ, and delighted in hearing of 
 free pardon and salvation through the blood of 
 His cross. 
 
 " Forty have just been sent to Balaklava Hos- 
 pital, out of our tents ; but Ave shall soon have 
 their places filled, if this weather continues. I 
 never saw the men of my regiment so eager for 
 religious instruction as they are now. God grant 
 them to be numbered among His saints in glory 
 everlasting. 
 
 " How glad shall I be to see the Soldiers' Mis- 
 sionary, Duncan Matheson ! It will refresh and 
 cheer my soul. Oh, that there were many more 
 labourers in this harvest ! Why are there not 
 more Scripture readers sent out ? They are grie- 
 vously wanted here. I am so longing that every 
 soldier, before he dies, should be told of Jesus, 
 made acquainted with all He has done for him ; 
 for many, I fear, are grossly ignorant of the way 
 of salvation. There are very few chaplains left 
 in the Crimea now ; even if they all returned in 
 health it would be imposssible for them to reach 
 half the spiiitual wants of the army. A staff of 
 
220 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 Scripture readers would be invaluable to them — 
 men who would devote themselves to their work 
 night and day." 
 
 TO HIS YOUXGEST SISTER. 
 
 " Dec. 21st, 1854. 
 " * * * How strange it seems to me now, 
 the years when I lived without a ' Saviour near,' 
 — a dark hideous blank ! Thank God, darling 
 Georgie, to your dying day, that you have been 
 early brought to the ' feet of Jesus.' I am fully 
 convinced that none have ever sinned more than 
 I have against the God and Saviour who died to 
 redeem me ; but with my sins in clear remem- 
 brance, I am yet washed in ' the fountain opened 
 for sin and uncleanness,' and ' looking unto Jesus,' 
 I come ' boldly unto the throne of grace, that I 
 may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in every 
 time of need.' 
 
 " ' Come boldly to tlie throne of grace, 
 "With all your wants and fears ; 
 The Saviour's hand shall kindly chase 
 Away the bitterest tears.' 
 
 "And, trusting in the same kind and loving 
 Saviour, ' mighty to save,' you too, dearest 
 Georgie, can draw near with confidence, for 'the 
 blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin,' and 
 an answer of peace you must and shall receive, 
 for * The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon 
 
TVINTEE BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 221 
 
 Him.' Your prayers may appear at times to be 
 no prayer at all, and at other seasons you may be 
 tormented with vain and wandering thoughts ; 
 your fliith weak and wavering ; but, dearest sister, 
 what then ? Every Christian has to endure trials 
 of this kind ; the promise is sure, ' He giveth 
 power to the faint.' 'They that wait upon the 
 Lord 5/ia^^ -renew their strength.' In times of 
 trouble, when everything seemed to b-e going 
 against me, I have yet found the cross of Jesus a 
 sure refuge. What think you is it that sustains 
 and supports me now, in the midst of all I have to 
 endure, and with the knowledge that at any 
 moment I may be summoned into the presence 
 of God ? Surely nothing but f^^iith in a living 
 Saviour. 'I know that Jesus died and rose 
 again,' and that He has made, what I never could 
 have done myself, full atonement and satisfaction 
 for sins. What then have I to fear ? 
 
 " When I take mine eyes from the crucified 
 Saviour, I tremble, and am without hope. Any 
 other stay will prove but a bruised reed. I have- 
 had to endure something of the rejjroach of the 
 cross, as in short all must and will, who follow the 
 Lord Jesus Christ. But I feel sure this moment, 
 whilst I write, if I had not been given a firm per- 
 suasion in my heart and mind of the sufferings 
 once endured by Jesus on Calvary, and by Divine 
 grace been led to behold Him as the Lamb of 
 God, the Saviour of sinneis, and therefore of 
 19- 
 
222 WIISTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 myself, I should long ere this have been the same, 
 if not worse than in I'jrmer years. 
 
 " Your outward forms of religion, whether in 
 the shape of Popeiy or Tractarianism, may 
 change the visible conduct of a man, but only 
 a dying Saviour received into the heart can 
 ever change the soul, and make it pure and fit, 
 through the power of the Holy Ghost, to dwell 
 hereafter with Christ, and to enjoy the holy plea- 
 sures of heaven. Let us not hesitate to bear the 
 cross daily. Think of Him who bore the cross' 
 for you. 'He was tempted in all points like as 
 we are, although without sin.' * * * The 
 glory of our religion is. Salvation through the 
 blood of Jesus. 
 
 " Ever, my own beloved and much prayed-for 
 sister, 
 
 " Your most attached and loving brother, 
 
 " Hedley Vicaes." 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, December 22(1. 
 
 "Thank you, dearest friend, for your affecting 
 letter from Mrs. Halkett's house. 
 
 "I grieve much to say that there is no hope 
 left now that dear Halkett* might be a prisoner 
 
 * Major Douglas Halkett, 4th Light Dragoons, who fell in 
 the flower of his age, iu the charge at Balaklava. His 
 thoughtful and benevolent character had won for him the 
 name of " father of his regiment." Brave as he was gentle, 
 his gallant bearing was noticed, even amidst the fury of that 
 
WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 223 
 
 in Sebastopol ; but I believe he is in the presence 
 of his God, clothed in the spotless robe of his 
 Redeemer's righteousness. The man who so 
 loved the fourteenth of St. John, has found it all 
 true for him. I shall make the motto he chose 
 for himself my own ; and if I am to fall too, I 
 hope I may die with it on my lips — ' In God is 
 my Salvation and my glory ; the Rock of my 
 strength and my Refuge is in God.' 
 
 " Give my love to his dear young wife ; and 
 tell her I pray God to comfort her. Her mes- 
 sage went to my heart, with its confidence in my 
 regard for her beloved husband. I know not 
 whether I could have ' saved him,' but I would 
 have carried him to the rear, or died in the at- 
 tempt. I have prayed that Jesus Himself would 
 comfort her ; I know He w^ill. 
 
 " Yesterday I read with great comfort the third 
 of Colossians, in the advanced work. I find Je- 
 sus more and more precious to my soul. 
 
 " The nights are very cold now, and that dear 
 fur rug, when it arrives, will be most acceptable 
 indeed. I will not disguise from you the truth, 
 that we have to endure days and nights of hard- 
 ships; but what are soldiers meant for? I will- 
 ingly submit to them, and would to greater. 
 
 death charge. The last time he was seen, was on the field, 
 fearfully wounded, holding out some bank-notes to his men, 
 with the cliaracteristic words, " Take them for the wives and 
 widows at home." 
 
224 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 
 
 Yet I cannot but feel, and deeply too, for the 
 death of so many of my comrades ; but I keep 
 liope alive in my heart that many amongst them 
 died in Jesus at the last. He is so tender and 
 loving a Saviour, and so willing to hear poor sin- 
 ners when they cry unto Him, that I believe He 
 will not turn a deaf ear to the faintest sigh of a 
 broken and contrite heart that may mount up- 
 wards to the mercy-seat, even from the soldier 
 who has longest trampled on His love and for- 
 bearance. I cherish this hope, and will, as long 
 as I live. 
 
 " Whenever I am off duty I visit the tents of 
 the sick. They are fall again, although forty 
 were sent to Balaklava a few days ago. The 
 weather is very wet and damp, with snow every 
 now and then ; but I am, thank God, as safe and 
 sound as ever I was in my life. I feel persuaded 
 
 that the Lord is keeping me for my L 's sake 
 
 and yours, in answer to your prayers. 
 
 " Bless you, my own mother, sister, friend, and 
 counsellor, ever cheering and comforting my 
 heart and soul. Give my warmest love to all 
 around you, especially to your dearest, revered 
 father. God bless him ; and God bless also the 
 beloved father of her I love best on earth, for his 
 tenderness and solicitude for his darling child, 
 and at the same time for his kindness to me. 
 
 "Kemember me most kindly to Mr. B. Is he 
 yet able to look to Jesus as his Saviour and Re- 
 
WIXTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 225 
 
 deemer? Where would be wy happiness now 
 if I could not do so, through the grace of God?" 
 
 "Christmas Day, 1854. 
 
 "I am for out-lpng picquet in ten minutes, so 
 I have but just time to Avish you a happy Christ- 
 mas ; it is so bitterly cold I can scarcely hold my 
 pen. 
 
 "I have enjoyed the day as much as could be 
 expected, and partook of the Sacrament this 
 morning, with (thank God !) thirty others. 
 
 "I received your precious letter of the 3d only 
 a few minutes ago ; thank you much for it. 
 
 "I trust the Protestant Members will speak 
 out their minds, or rather those of their consti- 
 tuents, about the nuns, &c., v.dien Parliament as- 
 sembles. I feel very anxious about it. 
 
 " I hope you have received the letters which I 
 Tvrite by every mail, such as they are. 
 
 "May our Father, the 'Father of all mercies,' 
 keep us ever 'looking unto Jesus' our SM^our." 
 
X. 
 
 %\t i»s-stsr tins. 
 
 " Jesus in his heart, 
 Heaven in his eye, 
 And the Avorld under his feet" 
 
 "The dawn of another life brolce o'er his earthly horizon, as In th» 
 eastern sky the first faint streak of the morning." 
 
 A PARAGRAPH in the public press, early in the 
 month of January, 1855, conveyed the first intel- 
 ligence that three officers had been found dead 
 in their tents, from the eiFect of the fumes of 
 charcoal, and that another was hanging between 
 life and death. That other was Hedley Vicars. 
 
 He had returned to his tent chilled and weary, 
 after a wild and snowy night in the trenches. 
 Before throwing himself on his miserable bed of 
 leaves and stones, he told his servant, as it was 
 intensely cold, to make a small fire of charcoal in 
 a dish, and to leave the door of the tent partially 
 open, imagining that this would secure him from 
 any injurious efi'ect. 
 
 Providentially he was for out-lying picquet 
 that afternoon. His servant, who bad several 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 227 
 
 tiaies vainly endeavored to awfiken him, at last 
 became alarmed, and v/ent for the suri^eon ; he 
 fomid him returning from the tent of another 
 officer of the 97th, for whom, alas ! his aid had 
 come too late ! 
 
 Hedley was carried into the open air, and laid 
 on the snow. His men stood round him, wring- 
 ing their hands. Eagerly as brothers, tenderly 
 as mothers, some assisted the medical officer in 
 chafing with snow the body of him they loved, in 
 the hope of restoring vitality. At length, after 
 the severer measures of blistering and bleeding 
 had been resorted to, consciousness returned. 
 He was spared for a nobler end, to fulfil his own 
 choice — " As a soldier I will die !" 
 
 Three mails arrived in England, without any 
 tidings of him — a time, it need scarcely be said, 
 of heart-sickening suspense to those who loved 
 him ; it was like life from the dead when tidings 
 of his recovery came, in his own handwi'iting. 
 A serious illness had followed the accident. 
 During its continuance the kindest attentions 
 were lavished on him both by officers and men, 
 and he was nursed with devoted tenderness by 
 Lieutenant Douglas MacGregor, with whom of 
 late his friendship had been ripening into aa 
 affection almost brotherly. 
 
 With reference to his preservation, he thus 
 writes, after a short account of the circura« 
 stances : 
 
228 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 ''January 8tli, 1856. 
 "How I thank God that no one but myself 
 slept in my tent that night ; and surely I have 
 cause to praise Him for His goodness in snatch- 
 ing me from the jaws of death. My first impulse, 
 after raising my heart in gratitude to that God 
 who had preserved me, was to see whether my 
 little picture was safe at my heart ; it was there. 
 I took a long, long look at the sweet face of 
 her whose love has made summer of my gloomy 
 winter ; and thanked God again for having spared 
 my life. 
 
 '■^January 12th. — I have just returned from a 
 night in the trenches, having come off the sick 
 list yesterday morning. Last Sunday I was un- 
 able to leave my tent, but I had a happy com- 
 munion with Jesus in my solitude, and derived 
 much pleasure from the fourteenth and fifteenth 
 of St. John. How true is the peace of mind that 
 cleaving to Christ brings to a man ! There is 
 nothing like it in this world. How could I be 
 happy now, if I had not the assurance that I have 
 a Saviour in heaven, whose precious blood was 
 once shed for me, and who now ever liveth to 
 make intercession forme? I find more and more 
 every day how little I can depend upon the feel- 
 ings of my own heart toward Him ; but my con- 
 stant comfort is, that Jesus Christ ' is the same 
 yesterday, to-day, and for ever.' 
 
 "We are still on the heights before Sebas- 
 
THE DAY-STAR EISES. 229 
 
 topol, but there we seem to be at a stand-still. 
 Every-day reports are rife that something great 
 is intended ; but the days pass by, and nothing is 
 done. Meanwhile the men are suffering much, 
 chiefly from the difficulty of procuring firewood 
 never plentiful, but now scarcely to be got at, on 
 account of the snow; and yet they bear up 
 nobly under all their privations (which are far 
 worse than those of their officers), and scarcely a 
 murmuring word ever falls from their lips. The 
 warm clothing has at length arrived, so the army 
 is better off now in that respect. 6,000 French 
 troops reached the camp last week. They are 
 close to us — all such lively, cheery fellows, 
 although their tents are even worse than ours, 
 and their dress is very thin and light. 
 
 " January 2Qth. — Owing to the rapidly-de- 
 creasing numbers of the British army, the duty 
 in the trenches is now very severe. But when- 
 ever I feel inclined to repine, I turn my eyes to 
 the sufferings of my Redeemer on Calvary, and 
 soon forget my hardships, or count them as 
 nothing. The day before yesterday, when I was 
 in the trenches, I seated myself on a gun-carriage, 
 and read with great comfort the first of Ephe- 
 eians. My thoughts dwelt chiefly on those few 
 cheering words, 'accepted ix the Beloved.' 
 Oh, what a healing balm there is here for a weary, 
 heavy-laden sinner ! Hov\^ I long to have my 
 heart ever alive to the soul-wants of my fellow- 
 
 ro 
 
230 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 sinners, and to be unceasing in ray exertions to 
 win them to Jesus through the mighty power of 
 the Holy Spirit! I am much better, but have 
 not got back my strength. During my ilhiess I 
 was very happy, but for some days past my lieart 
 has seemed cold and dead. Yet I trust brighte* 
 hours ai-e again dawning on my soul. What a 
 lonely, gloomy time it is when Jesus withdraws 
 the hght of His countenance ; but at all times I 
 can and do trust in His love and tenderness ; and 
 I feel persuaded He is in mercy sending me this 
 trial of faith to draw me nearer to himself. 
 
 "I have met Captain Vandeleur, of the Artil- 
 lery, two or three times since I last wrote, and 
 most delightful have those meetings been. My 
 spirit has been refreshed by them. * * * He 
 is coming to our camp every Sunday for prayer 
 and Scripture-reading. Yesterday was the Sab- 
 bath, and I enjoyed it much. I prayed with the 
 sick in hospital, and distributed several of the 
 prayers. The poor fellows liked them so much ; 
 many of them read them before I left the tent. 
 Some of us met for prayer in the morning, during 
 which time a heavy firing was kept up. This, no 
 doubt, would have rather interrupted a congre- 
 gation at home, but "we are quite used to it now. 
 
 '•''February 1st. — The weather has been very fine 
 the last three days. You cannot imagine in Eng- 
 land what an influence this has on the spirits of 
 all out here. I beard meiTv songs in the tents 
 
/ 
 
 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 231 
 
 to-night. We expected an attack yesterday, but 
 the enemy changed his mind. I had a very 
 happy day, notwithstanding." 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "My own Dearest Mother — I just take this 
 hurried opportunity of writing you a few lines to 
 tell you that, thank God ! I am safe and well. 
 The weather has been delightful for the last two 
 or three days, although there has been a sharp 
 frost morninoj and evenino^. The warm clothinsj 
 has arrived, so we are all jolly and comfortable. 
 I have been very weak since my illness, and un- 
 able to write, otherwise you may be sure, dear- 
 est mother, I should not have kept silence so 
 long. There is positively nothing stiri-ing here. 
 Strong linng is kept up at intervals ; but with 
 this exception, one might really doubt whether 
 we were in an enemy's country. The hospitals 
 are still full, and many poor fellows die every 
 week ; but I trust we have seen the worst. The 
 chaplain of our Division has gone to England in- 
 valided, and there is no one to take his place, so 
 we have no service for sick or well : but I mean 
 to ask the Colonel whether I may read in the 
 hospital next Sunday. You will be glad, precious 
 mother, when I tell you that, although there have 
 been cloudy seasons for my soul, I have generally 
 been enabled to rely on the faithfulness of Jesus ; 
 and I find such comfort in looking only to Him, 
 
232 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 and trustiug m His intercession and atoning 
 blood. Oh ! darling mother, how lonely I feel 
 when Jesus w'ithdraws himself fiom me, and 
 leaves rae for a time to myself; but those blessed 
 words in Isaiah have often restored happiness to 
 my soul — ' For a small moment I have forsaken 
 thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. 
 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a 
 moment, but with everlasting kindness will I 
 have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Re- 
 deemer.' I enjoy the presence of Jesus often 
 now, and when He is near me I feel happy and 
 peaceful. May He become more precious to our 
 souls each day, and may our hearts be changed 
 gradually more and more after His likeness. 
 
 " God bless and keep you all. Give my best 
 love to my dear grandmother, and tell her I re- 
 member her in my prayers." 
 
 "Sunday, February 11th. 
 "It is now eight o'clock at night, and I take 
 up my pen to write to one whose letters always 
 arouse me to think less of self, and more of Jesus 
 and of the many dying sinners around me. May 
 His presence ever refresh your own soul, giving 
 you an earnest of those bright joys which are at 
 God's right hand for evermore. This day of rest 
 has nearly closed. Alas ! there is but little per- 
 ceptible difference between the Lord's- day and 
 other days, here ; and yet I love its return, an \ 
 
THE DAY-STAr. TwISES. 233 
 
 never feel so peaceful and joyous as on this hea- 
 venly day. Owing to the roughness of the wea- 
 ther, there was no service for the Division ; but 
 some of us met as usual in one of the tents, to 
 raise our hearts in prayer and praise to our Hea- 
 venly Father. After the morning meeting I 
 went to read and pray with the sick in hospital, 
 and to distribute your new supply of books and 
 tracts (with those sent by the Miss Leycesters, 
 for which thank them with my kindest regards), 
 and the blessed cards of prayer, for which the 
 poor fellows are most eager. Oh ! it is enough 
 to make one's heart bleed to see, in one hospital 
 after another, men dying without any kind friend 
 or faithful minister to direct their hearts to the 
 words of heavenly mercy, to point them to Jesus, 
 and to refresh their s^ils by tlie water of life. 
 But I do and will hope that many who have gone 
 to their last home from this dreary camp are now 
 before the Lamb, clothed with white robes. It 
 is so great a comfort to believe this — and why 
 should it not be true ? May not many a broken 
 and contrite heart, drawn by a dying Saviour's 
 love to make known its wants to Him, and to 
 lean its hopes of pardon and eternal life on the 
 blood of the cross, have received the answer of 
 peace direct from the mercy-seat (where, thank 
 God ! Jesus ever pleads) — ' Enter thou into the 
 joy of thy Lord." 
 
 " I hear much of a chaplain at Balaklava — Mr. 
 20''^ 
 
234 THE DAY-STAE RISES. 
 
 Hayward — a man of devoted piety, who lives to 
 win souls to Christ. He is universally respected 
 and beloved. 
 
 " 1 have now before me your letter of the 26th, 
 with its mention of past distress and present 
 thankfulness to God for having spared my life. 
 I could scarcely read it all for tears. May God 
 shower His best blessings upon each of you for 
 all your love to me. Will you tell all who have 
 kindly prayed for me and given thanks for my 
 preservation, in Beckenham and elsewhere, that 
 I am deeply grateful for their Christian love. 
 
 How thankful I am that L heard it first 
 
 from you, before she saw it in the ' Times.' 
 
 " How nneasy you must have felt when you 
 read in that interesting soldier's letter, that he 
 hoped God would accept his oion sufferings and 
 the sufferings of his blessed Saviour in atonement 
 for his sins, when the ' blood of Jesus Christ 
 cleanseth from all sin.' God grant he may see 
 that the way to join the blessed company who are 
 arrayed with white robes and palms in their 
 hands, is to wash his robes and make them white 
 171 the blood of the Lamb. Oh ! may he and mul- 
 titudes of the British army show themselves, in 
 the last great fight, good soldiers of Jesus Christ, 
 and conquer through Him who loved them, and 
 died for them, and washed away their sins in His 
 own precious blood. Although I have often 
 cause to grieve for my backwardness and sloth- 
 
THE DAY-STAR EISES. 235 
 
 fulness in the cause of Christ, yet my heart yearns 
 over the souls of those who have not fled to the 
 cleansing fountain of His blood for pardon and 
 peace; and often, on rising from my knees, I 
 have felt so powerfully drawn by the love of 
 Christ that I have been ahiiost on the point of 
 going out through the camp to endeavour to im- 
 part to others the ground of my own peace and 
 happiness. But then, too often, when face to face 
 with those whom I know I shall meet at the last 
 great day, has my courage failed and my tongue 
 been sMent. May God forgive me for the many 
 times I have thus acted the coward, and been 
 ashamed of Jesus, my dearest Friend, and Sa- 
 viour, and King." 
 
 '''•Late at nighty February IQth. — The camp is 
 hushed in sleep, and nothing is to be heard save 
 the occasional booming of artillery and rattle of 
 musketry, or the rumbling of ammunition-wag- 
 gons on their way to the batteries from Bala- 
 klava. I own to being rather tired after the 
 duties of the day; but were I an hundred times 
 more so, I could not rest till I have written to 
 you in answer to your two last most precious 
 letters. * * * 
 
 You ask my opinion as to our prospects. Do 
 not believe for a moment that I take the gloomy 
 view of matters which so many of the newspapers 
 take. No ! Although I have seen many a noble 
 soldier laid low for ever, and regiments reduced 
 
236 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 to less than half their numbers by sickness sinca 
 the 20th of last November, I have no fear of the 
 eventual result^ by thenelp of God. The French 
 have a large army in the Crimea (80,000 or 
 90,000 men), and more regiments arriving every 
 week. And what with these and 12,000 British, 
 we are well able to defeat any Russian army 
 Menschikofi or any of his generals may bring 
 into tlie field ao:ainst us. As to takino; Sebas- 
 topol, that will be an affair of several months. 
 But the Avarm weather will soon be coming now, 
 and then day and night duty in the trenches will 
 be rather good fun than otherwise. So cheer up, 
 my own beloved friend and comforter. Yoi(, 
 have cheered us by telling us of the hope that a 
 day of prayer is about to be granted. A great 
 answer must and will follow; for does not Jesus 
 himself say, ' If (even) two of you shall agree on 
 earth as touching anything they shall ask, it shall 
 be done for them of my Father -which is in hea- 
 ven.' May God the Holy Spirit pour abundantly 
 upon all who shall bend the knee on that day the 
 spirit of grace and supplication. 
 
 "God bless you, dearest and best of all my 
 earthly friends, for all your care for the bodily 
 and spiritual comfort of me and my regiment. 
 The two boxes sent in December have arrived, 
 and their contents are invaluable. How kind of 
 that lady at Torquay to cut up her own fur cloak 
 into chest-preservers for us soldiers I When they 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 237 
 
 arrive, will it not be a sort of sacrilege to wear 
 them ? I should like to send my Christian love 
 to her, and to those w^ho meet with her to pray 
 for us. Also, do not fail to give it to Mrs. Har- 
 rington. Tell her the needle-boohs^ loith scissors^ 
 &c., will be capital presents. I cordially appre- 
 ciate her sj^rapathy for us in not calling it by the 
 good old name of ' liousevnfe^'' which would in- 
 deed have been a mockery of the miseries of a 
 camp. * * * I am afraid one of my late 
 letters, written rather in a desponding frame of 
 mind (partly arising, perhaps, from a good deal 
 of exertion whilst I was still very weak) will dis- 
 tress and make you anxious. I would not wil- 
 lingly cause you one moment's pain or uneasiness. 
 I am now quite well and strong again, thank 
 God ! and full of peace and joy in my soul. 
 
 "I had another visit this evening from Mor- 
 timer Lovell. The duties of private soldiers are 
 so heavy now that I hardly thought he would 
 have come here again so soon from his distant 
 part of the camp ; and I don't believe he would, 
 but for your blessed letters to him, which he had 
 left behind with me, and I know I would have 
 gone any distance rather than have lost one of 
 them. I took him into my excavated abode, and 
 we sat together by the fire for upwards of an 
 hour. I really believe him to be now a true- 
 hearted, humble-minded Christian. He told me 
 of his having distributed the cards of prayer and 
 
238 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 
 
 tracts Avhich I gave him to the patients in the 
 hospital tents, and that they were very glad to 
 get them. He said that he often went to read by 
 the bedside of the sick and dying, and he con- 
 sidered it a privilege to do so. We read the 
 first chapter of the First Epistle of St. Peter, and 
 prayed together before parting. He said he had 
 Christian fellowship with a man name'd Bush in 
 his regiment, whom he believes to be walking 
 with God. He was one of your navvies of Beck- 
 enham. Of course you hear from him sometimes ; 
 but a testimony of this sort, not intended for you, 
 is very satisfactory." 
 
 " Sunday niglit^ 18th. — This has been a bright 
 and happy day, in every sense of the words. We 
 had Divine service (as usual in fine weather) near 
 the Guards' encampment, but the Chaplain was 
 not there, so there was no sermon. We therefore 
 had our little service in the tent soon afterwards, 
 and a few of us read and prayed together again 
 this evening. My mansion is much more com- 
 fortable for this purpose since I excavated it; 
 there is more room in it, and it is warmer. I 
 have a fireplace now (what do you think of that ?) 
 which only smokes two or three times a-day, a 
 small chair I bought at Balaklava, a little table 
 made out of the bottom of an old cask; and as 
 for my bed, with the depth of that fur / — why it 
 is the envy of all who see it ! And, although 
 others beat me in having bedsteads and double 
 
THE DAY-STAR EISES. 239 
 
 tents, I think my house now the most comfortable 
 in the camp ; at all events, it icill be when the 
 candle-stove arrives. I shall never be in want of 
 visitors then." 
 
 ''^February 1\st. — One hurried line, to say the 
 great box from Terling has arrived at length, 
 
 mcluding yours and L 's. I cannot tell you 
 
 what pleasure it gave me distributing the various 
 things amongst the men — they seemed so grateful 
 and delighted ; and I am sure you will all have 
 the blessings and prayers of many. Groups of 
 them collected outside the tents to read the hymns 
 and tracts tacked so enticingly to the comforters 
 and cuffs. What will you say to my theft ? As 
 Mr. Huleatt is gone to Scutari, I took the warm 
 flannels for the sick, which you had addressed to 
 him, into my own possession, and carried them 
 to the hospitals ; and if you had seen the grateful 
 looks, it would have done your hearts good, 
 
 " Give my best regards to your cousins, Mrs. 
 and Miss Austen, and thank them for their kind 
 gifts for the men. And do not forget to tell the 
 servants at the Rectory how much I valued their 
 contributions (^which quite affected me as I took 
 them out for distribution). IS'ares has sent me a 
 box of useful articles, with several Testaments ; 
 also a tin of ready-ground (!) coffee, which was 
 highly acceptable. Little Kate's satisfactory pre- 
 sent — of not vmnn but hot stockings — truly 
 amused me. May God bless the dear child and 
 
240 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 the sweet young sister who is soon to leave Eng- 
 land. 
 
 " Who do you think brought up with his own 
 hands your last parcel of books and prayers? 
 Duncan Matheson ! He sat in my tent some 
 time, and we enjoyed sweet communion for nearly 
 an hour, and, before leaving, he prayed with me. 
 Surely it may be said of him, he is ' a temple of 
 the Holy Ghost.' I feel still the blessing of that 
 visit in my soul." 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 " Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 19th, 1855. 
 
 My own Darling Mother — The long ex- 
 pected box has at length arrived, and its contents 
 are now safely stowed away in my tent, and as 
 the vaiious proofs of loving remembrance from 
 you, dearest mother, and from darling Clara, 
 Mary, Georgie, and the children, met my eyes, I 
 was so much affected that I nearly cried. The 
 things you have sent me are just what I wanted. 
 
 I intend distributing the comforters, &c., to my 
 men, to-morrow ; and I shall let them know who 
 sent them, that you and my darling sisters may 
 not lose their prayers. Thank you, my own most 
 precious mother, for your affectionate remem- 
 brance of your son. This has been a delightful 
 day. I took a short walk with one of my brother 
 officers, to have a look from the height near which 
 the Guards are encamped, rather to the right of 
 
THE DAi-STAR EISES. 241 
 
 US, at the Valley of theTcliernaya. Seldom have 
 I seen a more beautiful view. The valley extends 
 three or four miles across, from our advanced 
 posts to the Russian position on the opposite side. 
 It is partly under water now, but the enemy do 
 not trust to that to prevent our making a nearer 
 acquaintance Avith them, for I could plainly per- 
 ceive, through a glass, a Cossack vidette on the 
 look out near the stream, and I believe swarms of 
 them occasionally come down into the plain. 
 
 " As I gazed on the magnificent scenery, on 
 the wildness and grandeur of the distant lofty 
 and snow-capped mountains, giving an additional 
 charm to the surrounding loveliness, all around 
 was so still and calm, that my thoughts wandered 
 to more peaceful climes, and to that not far distant 
 day, when Jesus shall return to this beautiful, 
 although sin-marred world, when wars shall cease 
 for ever, and love and holiness fill the breasts of 
 His redeemed people. Oh dearest mother, there 
 are times when I long for this final consummation 
 of all thino^s. What a blessed thino^ it will be to 
 serve Christ, with a heart wholly renewed and 
 made like unto His, when sin can no more afflict 
 us with its presence, or bow us down under its 
 intolerable burden. But it is not always thus that 
 my soul longs and pants for that great advent of 
 my glorious and precious Saviour. Oh that I 
 were ever waiting and ready to welcome Him, on 
 His triumphant return to a world, where once 
 21 
 
242 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 *He took upon Him the form of a servant,' to 
 redeem and save sinners ! 
 
 " May He give me gi'ace to bear His cross, and 
 to follow Him daily, be the way smooth or rough. 
 I have often reason to grieve that my love for 
 my Saviour is so small. But then Sis love 
 ' passeth knowledge ;' and in looking unto Him, 
 and taking refuge at His cross, I find sure safety, 
 rest, and peace. 
 
 " On my return to my tent, Avho should I find 
 there but Mr. Duncan Matheson, the soldiers' 
 missionary, from Balaklava. He remained with 
 me for about an hour ; and I do not think I ever 
 enjoyed a more heavenly conversation than with 
 this man of God. We read the third chapter of 
 Ephesians, and he prayed with me. When he 
 left, I saw that three of my brother officers were 
 standing close by : they must have heard that 
 fervent prayer. Who knows but that one of them 
 may be led to pray for himself to-night ; God 
 grant it ! One of those three said to me the other 
 day, when I was in his tent, 'Yicars, I dreamt 
 about you the other night, and I thought you 
 were speaking to me about religion.' ' Well, did 
 you like it ?' I said. ' Yes, very much,' he re- 
 plied. May the Lord give me courage to speak 
 faithfully and earnestly, and bless my feeble 
 words to his soul's good, for Jesus' sake." 
 
THE DAT-STAR RISES. 243 
 
 TO LADY RAYLEIGH. 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, Eeb. 23d, 1855. 
 "My own Most Beloved Sister — A thousand 
 thanks for the welcome presents of warm clothing, 
 <fcc., we have at length received. Everything 1 
 have yet seen is just what I wanted, even to the 
 marmalade from darling little Clara, and Dick's 
 and Charley's gifts. How kind of dear Edward 
 to think of getting a fur-coat for me ! I shall 
 write to him as soon as it reaches me safe and 
 sound. I told the men to whom they were chiefly 
 indebted for them, and doubt not you will have 
 the prayers of many grateful hearts oifered np 
 for you. I sliall write to dearest Mary and 
 Georgie by the next mail, to thank them for their 
 share in the gifts. All my company are now, 
 thanks to your kindness, well supplied with 
 everything requisite to' keep out the cold, and as 
 the long boots for the troops have at last been 
 issued, we are in Avant of nothing. How nice ! 
 the work of the villagers for the Terling soldiers. 
 Many thanks for the books you sent me. We 
 were much in want of sermons for our Sunday 
 tent services. I have ah-eady read several pages 
 of Mr. Walker's memoir, and like it exceedingly. 
 Oh ! that I had like him more of the ' mind that 
 was in Christ Jesus ;' that the motive of my 
 everi/ action were love to Jesus, and a desire to 
 promote His glory and hasten His kingdom ! I 
 want to forget self, and ever to hear in mind that 
 
244 THE DAY-STAR KISES. 
 
 I have been bought Avith a price, that I sliould 
 glorify God in my body and Bpirit, which are His. 
 I want to have more zeal and energy in the Re- 
 deemer's cause, and greater love for the soul's 
 He died to save ; and whilst thus laboring in the 
 vineyard of the Lord, I want to have a stronger 
 and more realizing faith in the blood of the Cross/ 
 to be ' clothed with humility,' that I may never 
 rest upon anything I can do, but ever, as a lost 
 and miserable sinner, look to Jesus alone for sal- 
 vation. May He be 'formed in us' the only 
 ' hope of glory.' May He continually dwell in 
 our hearts, and ' fill us with joy and peace in be- 
 lieving.' 
 
 " I have seen my old friend Cay, of the Cold- 
 stream Guards, several times, and have enjoyed 
 delightful Christian converse with him. I gave 
 
 him several of dearest 's cards of prayer, and 
 
 when I went on Sunday to the Guards' Hospital, 
 I observed one fastened to each bed. It made 
 me glad to see weary and dying eyes resting on 
 the words, ' O God, wash me feom all my sins 
 IN MY Saviour's blood, and I shall be whiteb 
 THAN SNOW. Fill me with the Holy Ghost, 
 EOR Jesus Christ's sake.' Oh that they may 
 all pray it from their hearts ! 
 
 ''I gave the little book of Psalms to poor 
 Longley of the band, who is very ill, and I took 
 him also some biscuits, for which he seemed very 
 grateful. I have long beheved him to be a foL 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 245 
 
 lower of the Lamb ; and liis uniform good con- 
 duct has borne testimony to his heart having 
 been changed and renewed by Divine Grace. I 
 rejoice to think he can rely upon the love of his 
 Saviom' ; even in these hours of pain and weak- 
 ness. * * * Cousin Ned has not yet returned 
 from Scutari; poor fellow, he has suifered se- 
 verely. 
 
 "God bless you, my own most precious sister. 
 Ever your most tenderly-attached brother, 
 
 "IIedley Yicars." 
 
 to his youngest sister. 
 
 "February 25th. 
 "Having had no less than six letters to write 
 by the last mail, I was unable then to express to 
 you, my own dearest Georgie, how pleasant it 
 was to me, on opening the large box, to find 
 proofs oiyour love amidst those of others. Many 
 thanks for them, darling, and for the ' bag of sun- 
 dries,' which contained many useful articles 
 which only a thoughtful dear little sister like 
 yourself would have thought of. * * * Have 
 you not reason to bless God for the illness you 
 speak of, if it has been the means of leading you 
 nearer to Jesus — near to God through the blood 
 of the Everlasting Covenant, of revealing to you 
 somewhat of the worth and beauty of the Saviour 
 to your soul, and of giving you a hope full of im- 
 mortality through His cross! Surely these aro 
 21* 
 
24G THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 blessings for wliicli you ought never to be tired 
 of praising our God and Saviour. I should like 
 to hear you exclaim with thankful delight — • 
 
 " ' Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing 
 My dear Redeemer's praise, 
 The glories of my God and King, 
 The triumphs of His grace 1' 
 
 " It is true that our feelings are variable. "We 
 have not always the same glorious views of Je- 
 sus, the same assurance of our sins having been 
 washed out, and our persons accepted, through 
 the blood shed on the cross. But let us en- 
 deavour to seek for comfort in Christ, and in 
 His precious promises. Viewing ourselves as vile 
 and sinful, let us look to Jesus as our perfect 
 holiness, and as our complete Deliverer from sin, 
 and death, and hell. Thus shall we find peace, 
 not in feeling ourselves to be good and holy, but 
 in hourly acknowledging our wretchedness and 
 casting our sins upon the Saviour, and receiving 
 out of His fulness grace for grace. Strive, then, 
 to cultivate a spirit of praise, my own darling 
 Georgie ; you have no idea how much happiness 
 and cheerfulness it will bring you. God bless 
 you and fill you with all joy and peace in believ- 
 ing. Ever your most tenderly attached and 
 aifectionate brother, 
 
 "Hedlet." 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 247 
 
 "February 28th. 
 "By the dim light of a very inferior tallow 
 candle, I sit down to say the stove is come! 
 Never was there anything so charming. I have 
 thrown it open to my company for cooking. It 
 came faster than any package has yet travelled — 
 by Mr. Peto's ship. How very kind of Mr. Wil- 
 berforce Baynes to get it sent, and so expedi- 
 tiously; it was dropped at my very tent-door, 
 without my having to make the smallest effort to 
 get it. And what a delightful store of books you 
 and Miss Maitland have sent ! Give my love to 
 her; and tell her what pleasure it gives me to 
 give them away. ISTearly every officer in the 
 regiment has got one. I thought some would 
 have declined, but they all accepted them most 
 gladly. I went to the hospital and distributed 
 several copies of that beautiful little book, ' Come 
 to Jesus.' I gave one of Ryle's hymn-books to 
 Longley, of the band, and another to Mortimer 
 Lovell ; and I am making a tour round the hos- 
 pitals of other regiments, to carry cards of prayer 
 for each. Thank your beloved sister for her sup- 
 ply of them and for her precious letter, which I 
 hope to answer. And thank dearest Louie fo»- 
 her charming sketch of Beckenham Church and 
 Rectory. How often have I, whilst looking at 
 them, thought of the calm, heavenly hours I have 
 enjoyed there. 
 
 " ' How sweet their memory still l' 
 
248 THE DAY-STAK RISES. 
 
 Well, the time may soon arrive when I shall 
 enjoy them again ; when we shall take sweet 
 counsel together, and walk to the house of God 
 in company, and tell our fellow-sinners of pardon 
 and peace through the atoning blood of a cruci- 
 fied Saviour. 
 
 " Oh ! that the Lord God w^ould come amongst 
 us with a 'high hand and with a stretched-out 
 arm ;' that He would, by the mighty power of 
 the Holy Ghost, change and soften the hard 
 hearts of those who despise the riches of His 
 grace, and who make a mock of sin whilst stand- 
 ing on the verge of eternity ; that He would im- 
 plant the rose of Sharon, in all its freshness and 
 fulness, on the ground of every troubled sin- 
 laden heart ! I cannot but believe that many 
 have died in peace and hope, for I have heard 
 from the lips of several, in dying hours, that their 
 only hope was through the mercy of Him who 
 died on the cross. But it grieves me when I 
 look around and see how few, very few, there 
 are amongst the yet strong and healthy (who 
 may, in a moment, be numbered with the dead) 
 who show any love for Jesus ; but it is only 
 through sovereign grace that we have beheld the 
 Lamb crucified /or us^ and have been brought to 
 rejoice in Him who ' purchased us with His own 
 blood,' with 'joy unspeakable and full of glory.' 
 Knowing, as I do, the sin-stained course of my 
 past life, and how utterly undeserving I was of 
 
THE DAY-STAK RISES. 249 
 
 being an object of God's pardoning mercy, I 
 never despair of even the foremost in the ranks 
 of Satan being brought to the feet of Jesus ; and 
 Avhen I see one, for whose conversion I have 
 prayed, becoming more hardened in sin, I com- 
 fort myself with the thought, that ' grace led my 
 roving feet to tread the heavenly road ;' and the 
 same constraining power may, at any moment, 
 convince him of sin, and reveal Jesus to his soul. 
 
 " March 2d. — This has been a very cold day. 
 I went to the Light Division tents this morning, 
 and gave away several of the tracts and cards of 
 prayer at each of the hospitals, and shall go this 
 evening or to-morrow, please God, to distribute 
 them amongst the sick of the Second Division. 
 
 " How grieved I am for poor Mrs. Halkett in 
 this second trial. It is indeed, hard for one that 
 has been so tried to submit without a murmur to 
 the will of God, but if she could see the happiness 
 of her child now, she would not wish to have it 
 back again. That beloved infant has gone to join 
 its father ; and all three, father, mother, and child, 
 will ere long be united, never again to be sepa- 
 rated. Pray give her my Christian love. I hope 
 her little girl is well. 
 
 " Yesterday was a peaceful, happy day to my 
 soul. We had two meetings for prayer and 
 Scripture-reading in my tent. Besides our own 
 little company, we had two officers of the Artil- 
 lery, Cnpt. Anderson and Capt. Vandeleur, and 
 
250 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 two of the Guards, Capt. Le Couteur and Dr. 
 Cay. The church was rather too small to ac- 
 commodate so many comfortably, hut we man- 
 agx'd very well, and had a blazing fire the whole 
 time ; there is luxury for you ! 
 
 " The Guards are gone to Balaklava, now. 
 Poor fellows, they are much reduced ; the whole 
 Brigade mustering barely 250 men fit for duty. 
 But although few are left, and those, worn and 
 haggard, they look such noble undaunted fel- 
 lows." 
 
 TO HIS MOTHER. 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, March 5th, 1855. 
 " My own Darling Mother — I am on regi- 
 mental duty to-day, and for the trenches this 
 evening. This is a lovely smn')ner''s day, but, 
 then, to-morrow^ it may be snowing, for you have 
 110 idea how changeable the climate is here. I 
 am, thank God, safe and well in both body and 
 soul. -I never Vv^as in the enjoyment of better 
 health, and the Lord continues to favor me w^ith 
 the sunshine of His presence, filling me v\'ith 
 peace and joy in Jesus. Oh ! darling mother, 
 how precious I find the Saviour to be to me in 
 these perilous times — with what trust and confi- 
 dence can I place myself, both for time and 
 eternity, beneath the shelter of His cross ! How 
 the knowledge of the love of Christ (that He 
 bled for us) nerves jie ho^rt to bear patiently, if 
 
 I 
 
THE DAY-STAR EISES. 251 
 
 not willingly, all tlie ti-ials and troubles which 
 God may send us, and which we are sure to meet 
 with, sooner or later, in this world of tears: but 
 what comfort religion brings to the soul in lead- 
 ing us io forget the sorrows of the present in the 
 bright contemplation of a future w^orld ; and how 
 joyous, how light the heart, and how indifferent 
 to all else, when Christ reveals Himself to our 
 souls in the precious character of our dearest 
 Friend and Brother ! "With him near, to cheer 
 and assure us, we can ' reckon that the sufferings 
 of the present time are not worthy to be com- 
 pared with the glory which shall be revealed iu 
 us.' And, although clouds sometimes hover be- 
 tween Him and us, yet we know that He has 
 promised ' never to leave or forsake us.' I will 
 now give you a few extracts from my Journal : 
 
 '-'■February 21th. — This has been the hottest 
 day we have had yet — quite an Englisli June 
 day. Gave several of the books away, from the 
 Beckenham box, to my brother officers. Took a 
 long walk with Lieut. Cannon in the evening ; 
 we talked on religious subjects, and especially on 
 the uncertainty of life. Oh ! may we both pre- 
 pare to meet our God, whenever He shall sum- 
 mon us hence ! The French iii*ied several rock- 
 ets from the Victoria Redoubt on the town. 
 
 " 28^^. — A cloudy day, but the rain kept up 
 until the afternoon. I went out for a walk with 
 Harmond, but we were oblio^ed to return. Went 
 
252 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 to the liospital, and gave away several tracts lo 
 the patients — amongst them a number of ' Come 
 to Jesus.' Oh ! that the Holy Ghost may lead 
 many to find peace and rest in the Saviour ! I 
 took some jam (thanks to dear John) and biscuit 
 to one of my company, John Carthy, for which 
 the poor fellow was most grateful, although so 
 Aveak and ill he could scarcely see me. Gave 
 away some hymn-books of Ryle's to men of the 
 band. Gave away several little books to my 
 company. 
 
 '-''March 1st. — Remained in tent, writing, in 
 the morning — a bitter cold day. Poor Carthy, 
 of my company, died in the hospital last night, 
 and was buried to-day. Cay came to see me, 
 but I was unable to go for a walk with him, 
 owing to parade. Dined off beef-steak and por- 
 ter ! Had tea with Desmond and Burton. Read 
 a chapter, and retired to rest about half-past 
 eleven o'clock. O Lord, do thou, in thy great 
 mercy, keep me from forgetting what Thou hast 
 suffered for me in body and soul. May I never 
 be drawn by the cares of this life from Jesus, my 
 Friend and Saviour ; but may I daily live closer 
 to His cross. Above all, would I ask Thee to 
 fill me with the Holy Ghost ! 
 
 " March 2d. — A cold and snowy day. Bor- 
 rowed Smith's horse, and rode over to the Light- 
 Division, with my pockets full of tracts, books, 
 and cards of prayer, which I gave away to the 
 
THE DAY-STAR ICISES. 253 
 
 sick of the 23d, 33cl, 34tb, and Rifle Brigade. 
 Cay came in the evening, and we saUied oif to- 
 gether to the camp of tlie Second Division, where 
 we distributed several more to the 41st, 49th, 
 and 62d Regiments. We then called on Yande- 
 leur, of the Artillery. He was not at home. 
 We sat in his tent foi nearly an hour. I read 
 aloud the Thirteenth of Hebrews — took tea with 
 Porter and Cannon. 
 
 '•'•March Zd. — Having invited Cay to dinner 
 to-day, I despatched my servant Keating to 
 Balaklava, for some fresh meat and flour (to make 
 a pudding). Took a stroll in the morning with 
 one of my brother oflicers (Lieut. Goodenoiigh), 
 towards the Third Division, and again in the 
 afternoon towards the Victoria redoubt. 
 
 " We dined at five o'clock, ofi" baked mutton 
 and potatoes (done in the candle stove dearest 
 
 sent me), and soup, plum pudding, bread, 
 
 cheese, and a bottle of porter. We afterwards 
 spent a most pleasant evening together. I read 
 a little tract called ' Believe and Live,'- and then 
 the Fortieth of Isaiah. After conversing on 
 them, we oflered up a short prayer. May the 
 Lord bless these meetings together to our eternal 
 good, and to the glory and honour of Jesus 
 Christ. Heavy firing this evening. 
 
 '•'•March Uh^ Sunday. — Had Divine service in 
 camp. We afterwards met together in a tent. 
 All present. Then sat on a Regimental Board; 
 22 
 
254 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 after which I went to the Guards' camp for Cay, 
 and we then went laden with tracts, books, and 
 prayers to the remaining hospitals of the Second 
 Division, where we distributed all we had. Had 
 service in our hospital tent on my return, and 
 prayed with one of the sick, particularly, who 
 asked me to do so, with tears in his eyes. Poor 
 fellow, he was much oppressed with the weight 
 of sins on his conscience. I spoke to him of, and 
 directed him to 'look to Jesus,' the Saviour. 
 Service in the tent again in the evening. Seven 
 present. Afterwards took a short %valk with 
 Vandeleur, Cragie, and Anderson, of the En- 
 gineers. Ivead and prayed with Major Ingram 
 and* Lieutenant Derman, in the latter's tent. 
 Oh, what a happy day this has been ! ' Bless the 
 Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.' 
 Had a conversation with a private of the V7th 
 
 Regiment, for an hour after dinner. Dear 
 
 was the means, in God's hands, of bringing him 
 to a knowledge of the truth. Oh, dearest mother, 
 how many will rise up and bless her at the last 
 day ! I must now conclude, as I must get ready 
 for the trenches. We have had rather light work 
 lately ; but we expect it will begin again soon, as 
 at first ; but I am quite happy. Dearest mother, 
 I have begun to keep a journal, as you see. But 
 I can but scribble a little in it every night. 
 
 " Give my best love to dearest Clara, Mary, and 
 Georgie. You are all constantly in my thoughts 
 
THE DAY STAn FJSES. 255 
 
 and prayers, Love to Lord Rayleigh, to John, 
 and Miss Strutt, c^c. Tell dear Edward, with 
 my love, I will strive to write him a letter by the 
 next mail, if I can. God bless yoii^ my own most 
 precious, darling mother. * 
 
 " Ever your most warmly attached 
 
 " And devoted son, 
 
 " Hedley." 
 
 to miss yicaks. 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, 
 "Sunday night, March 11th, 1855. 
 
 "My own Darling Maky — 1 must write a 
 few lines before I go to bed, as the mail closes to- 
 morrow ; and I shall have j^leiity to do then, as 
 we expect to shift our ground early in the morn- 
 ing. For myself, I don't much care about it 
 (though, of course, one does a little!)^ but I do 
 feel for the sick, many of whom are now in nice 
 wooden huts, and will have to revert to tents 
 again, at any rate, until we get the former on the 
 new ground upon w-hich we are to encamp. 
 
 "After our usual tent services, I walked wdth 
 Cay and Yandeleur towards the Victoria Redoubt. 
 The Light Division formerly furnished a picquet 
 here, but the French have it now. From the 
 advanced work in front of tlie redoubt we got 
 a capital view of Sebastopol, with its long line 
 of frowning batteries. We soon perceived that 
 our enemies had erected a new work in front of 
 
RoQ TILE DAY-STAIC RISES. 
 
 their Round Tower Battery, and considerably 
 nearer to us, for the purpose of enfilading the 
 Gordon. We could trace where each shot or 
 shell fell, I am glad to say that their practice 
 was very bad, for out of about fifty rounds which 
 they fired while we were looking on, only one or 
 two hit the battery. I only hope they may be as 
 ignorant of the range when we storm! 
 
 On our return, we learnt that a strong party 
 from the Light Division is to be detained on duty 
 to night, in the trenches, in addition to the usual 
 guards. We have 300 men of the 97th out to- 
 night ; so we have only forty or fifty efiective 
 men left in camp. Three Captains, besides Sub- 
 alterns of the 97th, are either on covering party 
 or out-lying picquet. I have a night in bed, for 
 my comfort. 
 
 " I have enjoyed this day very much. * * * 
 We met twice in the tent for prayer ; and in the 
 evening I read and prayed with Ingram and 
 Derman. ' Gibson's Sermons' have come in most 
 opportunely for our church ; they all like them 
 very much. This evening's text was Isaiah xliv. 
 3, ' I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, 
 and floods upon the dry ground.' Thanks be 
 unto God for this precious promise: is it not 
 equivalent to the words of Jesus on the mount, 
 "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst 
 after righteousness, for they shall be filled ?' Let 
 us ever be waiting on the Lord for fresh supplies 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 257 
 
 of grace, and earnestly and perseveringly pray for 
 a more abundant out-pouring of the Ho]y Ghost. 
 Good night, my own darling Mary. May God 
 for ever bless you, lift up the light of His coun- 
 tenance uj)on you, and give you peace. * * * 
 
 "■March 12th. — Well, dearest Mary, we are to 
 remain where we are till the day after to-morrow ; 
 this respite is in consequence of the rains which 
 fell yesterday. Did I tell you of my charming 
 stove, with its portable fuel of cocoa-nut oil-cakes, 
 which, when lighted, throws out a great heat. 
 My servant has already twice baked in it small 
 flour cakes — hot for my breakfast! besides cook- 
 ing my dinner in the same way for a change. 
 
 " How delighted I am you are going to Beck- 
 enham at Easter, God willing. Well do I re- 
 member my happy hours there ! Never did I feel 
 so strongly that I was in a place where ' prayer 
 was w^ont to be made,' as in that dear Rectory. 
 
 " I have had a beautiful letter from Mrs. 
 Ovens, which I hope to reply to by this or next 
 mail. Also to one from Mr. Smelt, of Canter- 
 bury, curate to Mr. Stephenson, author of that 
 beautiful book, ' Christ on the Cross.' Also from 
 Mr. Rigley, tlie Chobham missionary, who prayed 
 with me by the tent pole, when I was on guard 
 there, one day. 
 
 " Give my best and fondest love to dearest 
 mother, and to darling Clara and Geoi'gie. Much 
 love to all. Let us ever have our hope set, and 
 
 09* 
 
258 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 
 
 our eyes fixed on Jesus; and then, whatever 
 happens to me, we shall surely meet in peace and 
 joy. Ever, my own precious darling sister, your 
 most deeply affectionate and attached brother, 
 
 " Hedley." 
 
 From his correspondence with one to whom the 
 deepest recesses of his heart were opened, a single 
 passage is permitted to appear in these pages, 
 because it illustrates that he was as loyal in his 
 allegiance to his Queen and to his country as to 
 the heart he had sought and won : 
 
 " How I long for that v>iiich I am sure will 
 come eventually — a victorious ending to this war. 
 I Avish we may go at Sebastopol at once, for I 
 am growing tired of this delay; and, if the truth 
 were told, I fear my military ardour is giving 
 v/ay to my deep longing to see your face again. 
 But I cannot see how the Allied Powers ca?i 
 agree to peace until the stronghold which has so 
 long withstood us, falls into o»r hands. There- 
 fore, as the honour of my Queen and my country 
 is involved in this matter, not even to return to 
 you, dearest, would I leave the Crimea, save 
 through the harbour of Sebastopol." 
 
 HIS LAST letter. 
 
 " * * * Your letter of the 18th con- 
 tained no small comfort for me. I bless God 
 that my sweetest L is with her more than 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 259 
 
 mother again, to be comforted in these dark days. 
 * * * My own mother, no less than hers, how 
 I have blessed you in my heart, since the day I 
 could call her mine, for all your love to us both ! 
 I was grieved to hear that your beloved and re- 
 vered father had been ill. God grant his most 
 precious life may long be spared to us and to the 
 Church of God. Tell him, with my best love, 
 that I have distributed amongst my brother of- 
 ficers his delightful ' Invitation to United Prayer 
 for the Out-pouring of the Holy Spirit,' and I 
 trust that it may lead several to turn their thoughts 
 and minds to the contemplation of those things 
 that belong to their peace. Major Ingram is one 
 of my best friends, and a true Chrii?tian. I have 
 known both him and his dear wife for many 
 years. We have often prayed, and read, and 
 held communion together. Douglas jMacgregor 
 is very dear to me. He is very young, and full 
 of high spirits, which might now and then carry 
 him away, were he not continually seeking to 
 have more and more of the mind of Christ ; and, 
 in these solemn scenes, his thoughts turn oftener 
 heavenward. Do not cease to pray for him, and 
 for my subaltern, Lieut. Brinkley (for whom I 
 have a real interest), that they may both be good 
 and fearless soldiers of Jesus Christ. Macgregor 
 is the officer I mentioned, who asked, some 
 weeks ago, to be my companion in visiting the 
 hospitals, adding, with characteristic ingenuous- 
 
260 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 
 
 ness, ' I have just been reading those words, "I 
 was sick, and ye visited me not," and I should 
 not like my Saviour to be addressing those words 
 to me.' * * * 'pjjg weather is quite warm, 
 with bright sunshine, so we are throwing off our 
 winter clothing. I am sorry to say we are to be 
 removed from our present ground to where the 
 Light Division is encamped ; but soldiers ought 
 not to grumble at inconveniences. Yesterday I 
 visited the hospitals, and read the twelfth of 
 Hebrews, and prayed witli a poor dying man, 
 who beckoned me to do so when I was at the 
 other end of the ward. He was low and wretch- 
 ed; but he seemed comforted when I spoke to 
 him of that ' blood w^hich cleanseth from all sin,' 
 and told him of the dying love of Jesus. I do 
 hope that he and I shall meet in heaven, clothed 
 in white robes. 
 
 " Nothing new here. Report says the Czar is 
 dead ! Can it be true ? Sickness is on the de- 
 crease, and we are all as lively as kittens ! 
 
 '•'- 3Iarch \^th. — Many, many thanks for your 
 dear letter of the 1st. I cannot tell you how 
 much I rejoice in -the improved accounts of the 
 Duke of Manchester, for your last had made me 
 very uneasy about him. God grant that he may 
 be long spared to his sweet wife, to England, and 
 to the Church at large. 
 
 " We have lately lost several men in the 
 trenches. On Wednesday last, Captain Craigie, 
 
THE DAT-STAR RISES. 261 
 
 of the Engineers, who regularly attended our 
 Sabbath Prayer Meetings, was killed by a shell 
 in the Middle Ravine. I was on picquet there 
 on that night, and he was struck only a few mi- 
 nutes before I came up with my men. Poor fel- 
 low ! he was quickly called into eternity, for he 
 never spoke a word, but fell instantly after being 
 hit ; but I feel sure he was ready, and is now 
 safe for ever ! I liked him very much, and his 
 death has cast a gloom over our small band. 
 
 " We were turned out the night before last by 
 a very heavy firing in our front ; it lasted for 
 about twenty minutes, when it ceased entirely, 
 but ere long we w^ere again alarmed by a second 
 cannonade, and we once more stood to our arms. 
 It was a fine starlight night, and, as I stood gaz- 
 ing in the direction of the fusillade, I thought I 
 had never witnessed a more imposing spectacle. 
 Shells in quick succession were shooting up into 
 the air, with the bright glare of artillery reflect- 
 ed over the brow of the hills in our front, and the 
 lurid flashes of musketry, as volley after volley 
 chimed in, accompanied by the wild cheers of the 
 combatants which we could plainly hear at inter- 
 vals, even amidst the deafening roar. In less 
 than half an hour all was quiet, and we returned 
 to our tents. It was an attack made by the 
 French on a Russian advanced work, from which 
 they drove the enemy, but were in their turn 
 driven out. The French had 200 killed and 
 
262 THE DAT-STAR RISES. 
 
 wounded ; and the Rifles lost eleven men. We 
 are anxiously expecting our batteries to open in 
 good earnest ; but they say there is not quite 
 enough shell or shot up yet. Nothing could be 
 more favourable than the weather has been lately, 
 and the roads are in capital condition. My love 
 to your beloved father, and sister, and brother- 
 in-law, to Mrs. M , and to dearest Louie. I 
 
 enclose a letter to my own L . God bless 
 
 you, my own most beloved mother-sister. How 
 deliglited I am you told me the day which is ap- 
 pointed for national prayer. We shall keep it in 
 the camp, too, please God. Jesus is near^ and 
 very precious to my heart and soul. May He 
 ever be to you also, my own second mother. 
 Ever your most warmly attached son and brother, 
 
 " Hedley Vicars." 
 
 On the Sabbath which followed — his last on 
 earth — he seemed to have climbed, like Moses, 
 the Mount whence the promised land is seen; 
 and to have caught the twilight dawn of the 
 Eternal Sabbath so near at hand. Amidst un- 
 ceasing work for his Master, he entered at the 
 same time, in his mortal measure, " into the joy 
 of his Lord." A serene happiness filled his soul 
 as he went, in the intervals between the tent 
 services, with the message of peace to the hos- 
 pitals of other regiments. The morning service 
 was conducted in Major Welsford's hut, where 
 
THE DAY-STAR RISES. 26S 
 
 the usLial number assembled. In the afternoon 
 they were joined by Captain Crofton and Cap- 
 tain Anderson, of the engineers.* 
 
 Iledley Vicars seemed peculiarly to enjoy these 
 hours of social prayer. In the evening he met 
 Major Ingram in Lieutenant Derman's tent, and 
 these three Christian brothers read together the 
 14th, loth, 16th, and 17th chapters of the Gospel 
 of St. John, and again united in prayer. The 
 subject of the approaching day of humiliation 
 was kept much in view. He had earnestly de- 
 sired its appointment. In some of his recent let- 
 ters, he had expressed his belief that until God 
 was more honoured by us as a nation, in the as- 
 cription of victory to His favour, and in the ac- 
 knowledgment of His chastening hand in defeat, 
 we could scarcely expect complete success. 
 
 Well was the day observed when it came. He 
 kept it as a solemn fast before the Lord. Within 
 that tent there was a Holy of holies, for the pre- 
 sence of God was thcFC ; and from conscious, 
 though lowly fellowship with the Father and 
 with His Son Jesus Christ, he came forth to re- 
 fresh the souls of others, as one who by Divine 
 hands is made a king and a priest unto his God. 
 The man of prayer is a man of power. Other 
 men take knowledge of him that he has been 
 
 * Captain Crofton was mortally wounded by the bursting 
 of a shell within three weeks afterwards, to the defjp regret 
 of all who knew him. 
 
264 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 with Jesus ; and a light from heaven shines into 
 many a dark heart through one who is a Hving 
 temple of the Holy Ghost. 
 
 After morning parade, Hedley Vicars walked 
 with Major Ingram, to see the sunrise in the val- 
 ley of the Tchernaya ; and by the burning of 
 their hearts within them by the way, it seemed 
 that "Jesus Himself drew nigh and went with 
 them." 
 
 "Jesus in Heaven, Jesus in the heart, 
 Heaven in the heart, the heart in Heaven." 
 
 At eleven and at three o'clock services were 
 held in Mr. Smith's tent. Hedley Vicars had 
 himself chosen the Psalms and Lessons, which he 
 read, as well as the remainder of the service, 
 with an earnest solemnity which impressed all 
 present. " If it had been the Archbishop of 
 Canterbury," said one, "he could not have done 
 it better." 
 
 The evening Avas passed in company with his 
 beloved friend Mr. Cay. The tone of that last 
 conversation could not be forgotten by the sur- 
 vivor. It seemed as if the spirit of his young 
 companion had already taken wing, " and was in 
 heaven before he came at it ; being swallowed up 
 with the sight of angels, and with hearing of their 
 melodious notes. Here, also, he had the City 
 itself in view, and thought he heard all the bells 
 therein to ring, to welcome him thereto But, 
 
THE DAY-STAR EISES. 265 
 
 above all, the warm and joyful thoughts that he 
 had about his own dwelling there with such com- 
 pany, and that for ever and ever — Oh, by what 
 tongue or pen can that glorious joy be express- 
 ed !" Late that night he wrote these words : 
 
 "God bless all those whose exertions have 
 been the means of bringing about this day of 
 national prayer. Who knows how many precious 
 lives may not be spared, and what great success 
 granted, sooner or later, in answer to the prayers 
 of this day ; for if the ' effectual fervent prayer of 
 a righteous man availeth much,' how much more 
 may an abundant answer be expected to the 
 IDrayers of England, offered up as they .have been 
 this day by all the Lord's people in the name of 
 Jesus, and pleading his atoning blood and all- 
 sufficient righteousness. 
 
 " I look for great results from the prayers that 
 have ascended to heaven this day, and have been 
 presented by our great Intercessor before the 
 throne of God, and I am sure you do too, do 
 you not, ever dearest mother-sister ? I have felt 
 this day to have been just like Sunday, and have 
 derived much comfort from communion with my 
 God and Saviour. We had two tent services, in 
 the morning at eleven, and in the afternoon at 
 three o'clock; Vandeleur came both times. I 
 spent the evening with Cay. I read Isaiah xli., 
 and he prayed. We walked together during the 
 day, and exchanged our thoughts about Jesus." 
 23 
 
266 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 
 
 Thus the last word he ever wrote was the name 
 he loved best. The name which is above every 
 name ; and which doubtless was the first to spring 
 from his soul, in the fulness of adoration and 
 praise, as he entered into the presence of the 
 Kingr Eternal. One other frasjment was found 
 in his desk. It Avas addressed to her whom he 
 loved with the full power of a true and manly 
 heart ; yet does it speak of joy and gladness from 
 another source than that most tender love. Like 
 the first disciples, of whom it is said that they, 
 not seeing the Lord Jesus, yet rejoiced in Him 
 "with joy unspeakable, and full of glory," Hed- 
 ley Vicars, led by the same Spirit, seems at this 
 time almost to have tasted the first draught of 
 that fountain of the water of life, whose streams 
 make glad the City of God. In the full strength 
 of his youth, yet actually on the verge of another 
 world, his last words came to us with a power 
 beyond that of death-bed sayings. Such a tone 
 of absolute satufaction is seldom heard in this 
 world of unsatisfied longings. 
 
 "The greater part of another month is past, 
 and here I am still kept by the protecting arm of 
 the Almighty from all harm. I have been in 
 many a danger by night and day since I last 
 wrote to you, my own beloved ; but the Lord 
 has delivered me from them all, and not only so, 
 but He has likewise kept me in perfect peace;, 
 
THE DAY-STAK RISES. 267 
 
 and made me glad with the light of His coun« 
 tenance. In Jesus I find all I want of happiness 
 or enjoyment, and as week after week, and month 
 after month roll by, I believe He is becoming 
 more and more lovely in my eyes, and precious 
 to my soul." 
 
 Twenty-four hours more, and his eyes had 
 seen " the King in His beauty." 
 
XI. 
 
 " His soul to Him who gave it rose ; 
 God led it to its long repose, 
 
 Its glorious rest. 
 And though the warrior's sun has set, 
 Its light shall linger round us yet, 
 
 Bright, radiant, blest." — Longfeixow. 
 
 The night of the 22d of March was dark 
 and dreary. The wind rose high, and swept in 
 stormy gusts across the Crimea. There was for 
 a time a stillness over the three armies, like the 
 calm before a tempest. 
 
 At the advanced post of the British forces on 
 the side nearest the French, was a detachment 
 of the 97th Regiment, commanded by Captain 
 Vicars. No watch-iire on that post of danger 
 might cast its red light, as aforetime, upon the 
 Book of God. Yet was that place of peril holy 
 ground. Once more the night breeze bore away 
 the hallowed sounds of prayer. Once more the 
 deep, earnest eyes of Hedley Vicars looked 
 upward to that heaven in which his place was 
 now prepared. Perhaps in that dark night he pic- 
 
THE VICTORY. 269 
 
 tured a return to his country, to his home, to the 
 chosen of his heart, and tliought of all the loving 
 welcomes which awaited him. But there are bet- 
 ter things than these, dear as they are, which 
 God hath prepared for them that love Him. 
 Perhaps his spirit took a loftier flight, and im- 
 agined the yet more joyful welcomes upon the 
 eternal shore. 
 
 One stern duty more, O soldier and Christian, 
 and realities more lovely and glorious than it 
 hath entered into the heart of man to conceive, 
 shall satisfy thy soul. Fulness of joy and plea- 
 sures for evermore at God's right hand. Around 
 thee, in a few moments, may be a host of foes ; 
 but the air is filled with chariots and horses of 
 fire to carry thee home, to be numbered with 
 God's saints in glory everlasting. 
 
 Soon after ten o'clock that niojht a loud firinor 
 commenced, and was sustained in the direction 
 of the Victoria redoubt, opposite the Malakhoff 
 tower. Takinsf advantao-e of the darkness of the 
 night, a Russian force of 15,000 men issued from 
 Sebastopol. Preserving a sullen silence they ap- 
 proached from the Mamelon under cover of the 
 fire of their ambuscades, and eifected an entrance 
 into the French advanced parallel, before any 
 alarm could be given by the sentries. After a 
 23=^ 
 
270 THE VICTORY. 
 
 short but desperate struggle, the French were 
 obliged to fall back on their reserves. 
 
 The columns of the enemy then marched along 
 the parallel, and came up the ravine on the right 
 of the British lines, for the purpose of taking 
 them in flank and rear. On their approach being 
 observed, they were supposed to be the French, 
 as the ravine separated the Allied armies. Hed- 
 ley Vicars was the first to discover that they 
 were Russians. 
 
 With a coolness of judgment which seems to 
 have called forth admiration from all quarters, he 
 ordered his men to lie down until the Russians 
 came within twenty paces. Then, with his first 
 war-shout, "Now, 97th, on your pins, and 
 charge !" himself foremost in the conflict, he 
 led on his gallant men to victory, charging two 
 thousand with a force of barely two hundred. 
 A bayonet wound in the breast only fired his 
 courage the more; and again his voice rose high, 
 "Men of the 97th, follow me!" as he leaped 
 that parapet he had so well defended, and charged 
 the enemy down the ravine. 
 
 One moment a struggling moonbeam fell upon 
 his flashing sword, as he waved it through the air, 
 with his last cheer for his men — " TViis way, 97tli !" 
 The next, the strong arm Avhich had been up- 
 lifted, hung powerless by his side, and he fell 
 amidst his enemies. But friends followed fast. 
 His men fought their way through the ranks of 
 
THE VICTORY. 271 
 
 the Russians, to defend the parting life of the 
 leader they loved. Noble, brave men ! to whom 
 all who loved Hedley Vicars owe an unforgotten 
 debt of gratitude and honour. 
 
 In their arms they bore him back, amidst shouts 
 of a victory so dearly bought. 
 
 An officer of the Royal Engineers stopped 
 them on their way, to ask whom they carried. 
 The name brought back to him the days of his 
 boyhood. The early playmate, since unseen, who 
 now lay dying before him, was one whose father's 
 deathbed had been attended and comforted by 
 his own father as minister and friend.* 
 
 Captain Browne found a stretcher, and placing 
 his friend upon it, cooled his fevered lips mth a 
 draught of vrater. That " cup of cold water shall 
 in no wise lose its reward." 
 
 To each inquiry, Hedl&y Vicars answered cheer- 
 fully, that he believed his wound was slight. But 
 a main artery had been severed, and the life-blood 
 flowed fast, 
 
 A few paces onward, and he faintly said, 
 " Cover my face ; cover my ftice !" 
 
 What need for covering under the shadow of 
 that dark night ? Was it not a sudden conscious- 
 ness that he was entering into the presence of 
 the Holy God, before whom the cherubim veil 
 their faces ? 
 
 As the soldiers laid him down at the door 
 ^ The Dean of Lismore. 
 
272 THE YiarORY. 
 
 of his tent, a welcome from the armies of the sky 
 sounded in his hearing. He had fallen asleep in 
 Jesus, to awake up after His likeness, and be sat- 
 isfied with it 
 
 We " asked life of Thee, and Thou gavest it 
 him, even length of days for ever and ever." 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 "In iltnuriam." 
 
 "His memorv long will live alone 
 In all our hearts as mournful ligiit 
 That broods above the fallen sun, 
 And dwells in heaven half the night." 
 
 Tennyson. 
 
 A PASSAGE in the despatch fi-om Lord Raglan, 
 published on Good Friday, April 6, closed the last 
 door of hope that there might be some mistake in 
 the telegraphic notice of Captain Vicars' death, 
 communicated by the evening papers of the 4th : 
 
 " Camp before Sebastopol, March 24th, 1855. 
 
 " Early in the night a serious attack was made 
 upon the works of our AlUes in front of the Yic- 
 toria redoubt, opposite the MalakhofF Tower. 
 
 " The night was very dark, and the wind so 
 high, that the firing which took place, and which 
 was very heavy, could scarcely be heard in the 
 British camp ; it is, therefore, difficult to speak 
 
274 APPENDIX. 
 
 with certainty of what occurred from anything 
 that could be heard or observed at the moment. 
 
 " It appears, however, that the Russians, after 
 attacking the head of the sap which the French 
 are carrying on towards the Mamelon, fell with 
 two heavy masses on their new parallel, to the 
 rear of which they succeeded in penetrating and 
 momentarily possessing themselves of, after a 
 gallant resistance on the part of our Allies. 
 
 "Having, broken through, they passed along 
 the parallel and in rear of it, until they came in 
 contact with the troops stationed in our advanced 
 parallel extending into the ravine, from the right 
 of our advTince, where it connects with the French 
 trench. 
 
 " The enemy was here met by detachments of 
 the '77th and 97th Regiments, forming part of 
 the guard of the trenches, who, although thus 
 taken suddenly both in flank and rear, behaved 
 with the utmost gallantry and coolness. 
 
 " The detachment of the 97th, which was on 
 the extreme right, and which consequently first 
 came in contact with the enemy, repulsed the at- 
 tack at the point of the bayonet. 
 
 " They vrere led by Captain Vicars, who, un- 
 fortunately, lost his life on the occasion : and I 
 am assured that nothing could be more distin- 
 guished than the gallantry and good example 
 which he set to the detp.e'iment under his com- 
 mand." 
 
"in memoriam." 275 
 
 By the same post, their tone according with 
 the solemn and hallowed associations of the day, 
 the following^ letters confirmed the fatal tidinscs 
 
 TO LORD RAYLEIGH. 
 
 •' Before Sebastopol. 
 
 "My Lord — It is Avith the deepest sorrow that 
 I write to announce the death of Captain Yicars, 
 of the 97th Regiment. He was killed last night 
 in the trenches, while gallantly cheering on his 
 men to the attack of a body of the enemy, who, 
 taking advantage of the darkness of the night, 
 got close into our trenches. From what I can 
 glean of the affair, he rushed bravely into the 
 middle of them, knocked down two, and was in 
 the act of striking a third, when one of them shot 
 him through his right arm, high up close to the 
 shoulder; the ball divided the principal artery, 
 and he must soon have bled to death ; therefore, 
 it is a melancholy satisfaction to know that his 
 sufferings were short. 
 
 " I cannot express my own sorrow, and that of 
 the Regiment, at the loss of so valuable an of- 
 ncer, further than to say, as regards myself, I 
 feel that I have lost a brother — it Avas in his so- 
 ciety I felt the happiest ; as regards the regi- 
 ment, he cannot be replaced. Contemplating his 
 melancholy loss in the light of a Christian, we 
 indeed ought not to sorrow as those who have no 
 hope, for I feel sure no officer in the whole army 
 
276 APPENDIX. 
 
 was more prepared to meet his Saviour. I write 
 to your Lordship, as he told one of the officers 
 that his mother was staying with you ; and gave 
 your direction in case (as he said) of any thing 
 happening to him. 
 
 " I am, &c., 
 
 "T. O. W.Ingram, 
 
 " Major, 97th Regiment." 
 
 FROM AN OFFICER IX THE ROYAL ARTILLERY. 
 " Camp before Sebastopol, March 23d, 1855. 
 
 " Much do I thank you for your very kind let- 
 ter of the 23d of February. The information it 
 contained concerning a Day of Humiliation hav- 
 ing been determined upon, was most acceptable ; 
 and in itself tended not a little to cheer our 
 spirits, of late, by many circumstances, much 
 cast down. 
 
 " That kind letter deserved a far different an- 
 swer from that which I am now called upon to 
 send. Sad, sad, indeed, are the tidings I have to 
 communicate. But I know that, painful and se- 
 vere as the blow must prove, it is nftich better 
 that the worst should be told, in a direct and 
 certain form, by letter, than to have your feelings 
 tortured unnecessarily by the uncertain reports 
 which could not fail to reach you through the news- 
 papers. On this account, I feel sure you will for- 
 give me for taking upon myself to break to you 
 — one of his dearest and most valued friends — 
 
"in MEILOKIAM." 277 
 
 tlie melancholy news of the death of our dear 
 companion in arms, and brother in the Lord, 
 Captain Vicars, 97th. 
 
 " Yes, our good and gracious God has seen fit, 
 at this, His own good time, to take unto himself 
 the soul of our beloved friend. Yet, if we find 
 in these words much to cause deep affliction, 
 surely they contain much of comfort also. Our 
 loss and sorrow are great ; but his gain and bliss 
 are greater. Dear Vicars is the second of our 
 little band w'ho has been removed to a higher 
 and better world within a fortnight. Captain 
 Craigie, R. E., we lost about ten days ago. 
 Surely these are warnings to us. ' Prepare to 
 meet thy God' is written as with the finger of 
 God. May He himself prepare our souls, by fix- 
 ing our wandering hearts more entirely on him- 
 self. 
 
 " The action of last night — I might almost dig- 
 nify it by the name of ' battle' — ^lias been a glori- 
 ous and decisive victory. It was Inkermann on 
 a small scale — an attack in very great force, and 
 on all points ; and everywhere they were beaten 
 back with vigour and heavy loss. I saw at least 
 three hundred Russian bodies lying on the field. 
 We calculated that their loss must have exceeded 
 twelve hundred men. The French lost five hun- 
 dred, and the English four ofHcers and about 
 fifty men. 
 
 " Vicars was in the advanced parallel of our 
 24 
 
278 APPEXPix. 
 
 right attack, witli a picqnet of his regiment. The 
 enemy attacked the French lines ch)se alongside 
 where he lay ; a ravine only separated them. 
 They at first drove back the French, and part ot 
 them then turned to their right, crossed the ra- 
 vine, and took oni trench in flank. We were 
 unprepared, and at first thought the advancing 
 body was one of the French ; but Yicars found 
 out they were the Russians, and ordered his men 
 to lie down, and wait till they came within 
 twenty paces. When the enemy was close 
 enough, Yicars shouted, 'N"ow, 97th, on your 
 pins, and chai-ge !' They poured in a volley, 
 charged, and drove the Russians quite out of the 
 trench. Vicars himself struck down two Rus- 
 sians, and was in the act of cutting down a third 
 with his sword, when another man, who was 
 quite close (for the coat was singed), fired. The 
 ball entered his uplifted right arm, close to where 
 it joins the shoulder, and he fell. The main ar- 
 tery was divided, and he must have bled to death 
 in a few minutes. 
 
 " Thus his end w^as as peaceful and painless as 
 a soldier's death could be; and nothing could 
 have been more noble, devoted, and glorious 
 than his conduct in this, his first and last en- 
 gagement. Surely this must afford some con- 
 solation to those who loved him. 
 
 " He was universally beloved ; and none can 
 doubt who 1 new him that he is now in the pre- 
 
"in memokiam." 279 
 
 sence of that great and holy God whom on earth 
 he deeply loved, and earnestly and successfully 
 sought to serve. 
 
 " Poor fellow ! he chose the Psalms and Les- 
 sons for the preceding day (the Day of Humilia- 
 tion), and read the service, when several of us 
 met together to Tvorship God. All present must 
 have noticed the fervour of his manner. Little 
 did w^e think he w^as so soon to be numbered 
 with the dead. 
 
 " Let us not sorrow for our beloved brother 
 as those without hope. We have a good and 
 sure hope, nay, a firm faith^ that Ave shall meet 
 again. * * * 
 
 " May God comfort you all." 
 
 The following letter was written to a mother, 
 without any idea on the part of the \\Titer that 
 the sorrowing hearts of Hedley Vicars' relatives 
 and friends would be warmed and comforted by 
 its overflowing afl:ection to his memory : 
 
 TO LADY IMACGREGOK. 
 
 "Camp before Sebastopol, March 23d, 1855. 
 Dearest Mother — This is a dark and sorrow- 
 ful day with me ; my heart is wrung, my eyes 
 red and hot with crying. 1 feel gloomy and sor- 
 rowful altogether. My very dear friend Yicars 
 was killed last night ! The Russians made a sor- 
 tie ; and, while gallantly leading on a handful of 
 our men, to charge them outside our works, he 
 
280 APPENDIX. 
 
 was mortally wounded by a ball striking his right 
 breast. He died soon after, and is now enjoying 
 a glorious rest in the presence of his Saviour. I 
 do not pity him. What more could we wish for 
 him? He was fully prepared for the most sud- 
 den death, and he died bravely fighting and doing 
 his duty. But my heart bleeds for the loss of 
 my dearest friend, and for the sake of his poor 
 mother and family. 
 
 " Such a death became such a life — and such a 
 soldier. The most gallant, the most cheerful, the 
 happiest, the most universally-respected ofiicer, 
 and the most consistent Christian soldier, has 
 been taken from us by that bullet ; and I know 
 not how to live without him. He was my truest 
 friend, my most cheerful companion, and my 
 friendly adviser on all occasions. But, as his ser- 
 geant remarked, bitterly, this morning, ' He was 
 too good to live.' 
 
 " Oh ! how many happy little schemes of mine 
 does this at once put an end to. I had fondly 
 hoped that we should live to go home, and that I 
 might bring my dear departed friend to you, and 
 proudly show him as a specimen of what a model 
 soldier should be. But God's ways are 7iot our 
 ways. He spared him from the horrible death 
 of suffocation by charcoal, for a few months, that 
 he might die a soldier's death. 
 
 " Noble fellow I he rushed in front of his men ; 
 and his powerful arm made more than one Rus- 
 
"in memokiam." 2S1 
 
 sian fall, before that cruel bullet broncrlit him 
 down. It must have been fired close to him, for 
 his coat was singed. I never knew how much I 
 loved him until he was so nearly dying of the 
 charcoal. When I heard, at day-light this morn- 
 ing, that Yicars had been brought home dead, 
 you may imagine my excessive grief. I loved 
 that man as dearly as a brother : and it seems that 
 I almost hear his voice sounding in my ears, as 
 he read (two days ago) the service — when some 
 of us met on the day of humiliation. 
 
 "There Avas a little locket which he always 
 wore round his neck ; and I remember, when 
 we heard we were to come here, he said, ' we 
 should all be prepared to give directions what 
 we wished done in case we got killed; for in- 
 stance, I have got a little book of Psalms, and a 
 locket, which I would wish sent home, in case I 
 die !' Poor fellow ! I remember this ; and as I 
 took the locket (a small gold one, which opens 
 like a watch, and has a small picture) — sprinkled 
 with his life-blood — I cried so that I thought I 
 would I get ill. 
 
 u ♦ ^ .<: Q]-^ J j^^g Y>oov mother and sisters, 
 that he loved so dearly. But she is a Christian : 
 and has lived to see her once wild and reckless 
 son come to the fold of Jesus, and prove his sin- 
 cerity by a long and unswerving, and consistent 
 course. I also cut a lock of his line, curly hair 
 this morning, as I knew his mother would like to 
 21- 
 
282 APPENDIX. 
 
 get it. If T was to try to write all the good that 
 my beloved friend did, I should not have room. 
 How he fearlessly visited and spoke to the men 
 in the worst times of the cholera ; but, as he told 
 me, he got his reward — for the soldiers' dying 
 lips besought blessings on his head. Oh, hovv^ 
 happy he is now ! Such a death, and such glory 
 now ! Even in death his habitual happy smile 
 did not forsake him. The Lord knew when and 
 how to take him; but it is a severe and unspeak- 
 ably painful trial to me. 
 
 "Every one liked and respected Vicars; even 
 those who did not agree with his strict religion ; 
 and those who had known him so long as the 
 leader of every mad riot, when, after closely 
 watching him for years, and finding that once 
 enlisted in Christ's army, he never flinched — at 
 last gave in, and ackowledged that Vicars, at 
 any rate, was a true Christian. How sadly we 
 shall miss him in all our little meetings. O God, 
 help me to bear this sad affliction ! I can't go 
 on. He died gloriously, and now he is perfectly 
 happy. God help his afflicted family, and help 
 me also to bow submissively to His will! 
 
 " Our men got great praise for the fight last 
 night ; but who would not go anywhere with 
 such a leader ? 
 
 " Somehow, I passed a restless, almost sleepless 
 night, and I then heard different arrivals of our 
 wounded men, but did not know that my poor — 
 
"in memoriam." 283 
 
 no, my happy — friend was amongst tlie number, 
 until parade at day-break. If you have not lost 
 that crocus which Vicars sent a few weeks ago, 
 please to keep it. Oh ! blessed are the dead that 
 die in the Lord. 
 
 "Farewell, Vicars, my loved companion! I 
 knew when he went into action he would show 
 that a Christian soldier was a brave as well as a 
 happy man. I do not exactly know how it all 
 was. I only vouch for the above facts, and the 
 terrible reality of poor Vicars' noble frame lying 
 in the hospital tent, where I saw it. We are in 
 tents here, too. God bless you, dearest mother ; 
 and may He sanctify this severe trial to my soul. 
 
 " Your own 
 "Douglas." 
 
 Six months more, and Douglas Macgregor and 
 Hedley Vicars had met again. " Lovely and 
 pleasant in their lives, in their death they were 
 not (long) divided." 
 
 Bright as the young survivor's Christian life 
 had been before, it cleared into yet fuller lustre 
 during tliose six short months, ere his sun went 
 down at noon. He regularly visited the hospi- 
 tals, to read and pray witli the sick and dying, 
 and in every way sought to follow in the steps 
 of that beloved friend, over whose grave he had 
 wept with the strength of manly aifection and 
 the tenderness of a woman's love. 
 
284 APPENDIX. 
 
 On the death of Lieutenant Derman, in the 
 month of August, Lieutenant Macgregor, at the 
 age of twenty, Avas appointed Adjutant to his 
 rep'iment, an office for which his remarkable en- 
 ergy, sweetness of temper, and devoted miUtary 
 ardour pecuUarly quahfied him. 
 
 On the fatal 8th of September, twice he fought 
 his way into the Redan, the second time to come 
 no more out. He was found far advanced on 
 that red ground, lying by a cannon, in the sleep 
 of death. 
 
 " The trumpet shall sound, and the dead 
 shall be raised." 
 
 The next letter is from one whose own abound- 
 ing labours of love amongst the ungodly, the 
 sick, and the dying, in that land lying under the 
 shadow of death, rendered him peculiarly open 
 to the refreshing influence of even passing con- 
 tact with such a spirit as that of Hedley Vicars : 
 
 "Balaklava, March 25th, 1855. 
 
 "My heart is filled with sorrow. I am deeply 
 pained. I am much distressed. And well do I 
 know I write to one whose soul shall be filled 
 with grief — grief which only Jesus can reheve, 
 sorrow which only His hand can wipe away. 
 
 " From dear Dr. Cay's letter of the 23d, you 
 have heard of the death of much-loved Captain 
 Vicars. It has come over us as a heavy blow. 
 It has tauo-ht us solemn lessons. It has caused 
 
"in- memoeiam." 285 
 
 the deepest affliction. We seek grace to bow to 
 the will of the Lord, and to feel that His ways are 
 not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts. You 
 know the circumstances. (Then follows a state- 
 ment of the facts already given.) He ' fell asleep 
 in Jesus.' His work was done on earth — his race 
 was run — his conflict ended — his crown awaiting 
 — and now he wears it. 
 
 *' I heard of his death on the evening of the 
 23d, and yesterday hastened to the front. I met 
 one and another of the 97th, and the deepest 
 sorrow filled each heart. I cannot express it. 
 Kough hands wiped the starting tears away at 
 the mention of his name, and one after another 
 told me of the good he had sought to do him. 
 
 " On reaching the encampment of the 97th, I 
 saw soldiers digging a grave. It was his. I 
 stood beside them, and spoke to them as well 
 as I could for sorrow, and remained till it was 
 finished. Oh ! how my heart bled for his dear 
 mother and sisters at home. The poor soldiers 
 seemed to feel this, and said that they could 
 not forget his dear sister's parting counsels to 
 them ere they left England. It seems to have 
 made a deep impression on them. 
 
 "He was buried at three o'clock yesterday 
 afternoon. All the officers of the 97th were 
 there, with some friends from other regiments, 
 and a large number of the men of his own regi- 
 ment. I stood by Dr. Cay, and Captain Yan- 
 
286 APPENDIX. 
 
 deleur was opposite. A deep, very deep solemnity 
 prevailed as the chaplain read the Funeral Ser- 
 vice. It was a touching, solemn hour. Yes, he 
 had all earthly honour, all deep respect. The 
 mournful procession went home, and dear Dr. 
 Cay and I went together on the road to Bala- 
 klava, talking of our loss, and of his dear mother 
 and sisters and friends at home, and of those 
 pleasures and joys he now possesses in the calm, 
 pure, holy heaven on high. 
 
 " Being all day with them, I had opportunity 
 of seeing many of the men of the 97th. He was 
 the most beloved officer of the regiment, and not 
 only in his own regiment — it seems his name is 
 well known now throughout the army, and his 
 loss deeply felt. I could here pause to give ex- 
 pression to my own feelings. I feel I have lost a 
 dear friend, one to whom my heart was much 
 knit. I had anticipated happy days with him in 
 this land, and I felt I should be much strength- 
 ened. It was not to be so. Soon we shall fol- 
 low. Oh ! may the faltering steps be quickened, 
 and the soul be made to mount up Avith wings as 
 eagles, longing, panting, thirsting more ardently 
 and more constantly for the living God. 
 
 " I had visited him three times and remained 
 long with him. On Tuesday, the 20th, we had 
 gone together to Major Ingram's tent — Dr. Cay 
 also being present, and another officer. It was 
 put on me to read and pray, and it was good tc 
 
"IX MEMOKIAM." 287 
 
 be among tbem. He, with Dr. Cay, conveyed 
 me a long way. Our conversation turned chiefly 
 on the happiness of glorified spirits and their en- 
 joyments. He was much delighted at the pros- 
 pect of the National Fast Day on the folio w^ing 
 day. It w^as the sweetest walk I have ever had. 
 Little did I think it w-as to be the last with him. 
 "On the 21st he met with others, and passed 
 the day in fasting and prayer, and very pleasantly. 
 My spirit w^as with him and the little band. 
 Next night he w^as in glory. Yes, I feel sure of 
 this. It seemed to me he was peculiarly ripe for 
 it. He was growing much in the Divine life, and 
 it must aflbrd peculiar satisfaction to you to 
 know (as he told me in that last walk), your let- 
 ters had been the means of greatly strengthening 
 him and helping him forward. To God be the 
 glory. Yes, he has fallen as a soldier and as a 
 Christian. The Church of God, his dear mother, 
 and sisters, and Christian friends shall miss him 
 much. Yet we cannot, we would not recall him 
 if we could. God had need of him. He is re- 
 moved from the evil to come. The white robe is 
 now his — the crown of victory — the song that 
 shall never end. Tears may give place to joy. 
 True, it was not amidst kind friends or on downy 
 bed he died. It was in the deadly charge and in 
 the battle's strife. Yet it is all one. He fell as 
 a Christian, nobly doing his duty. He awaits to 
 give us a welcome on high. Kindly recognition 
 
288 APPENDIX. 
 
 shall take place. He needs lis to swell the song, 
 to help to praise. Lord, more grace, more grace, 
 that we may follow him as he followed Jesus ! 
 
 "Dr. Cay is to get a stone to mark his grave, 
 that it may be well known. He lies close to the 
 mile-stone on the WoronzofF road to Sebastopol, 
 200 yards from the Picket House. 
 
 " I feel deeply for his mother and sisters — I 
 cannot say how deeply. May they know much 
 of the sympathy of Jesus ! You, too, shall need 
 it, for you have lost a brother. 
 
 "Will you kindly offer my Christian love to 
 all at Beckenham, especially to your dear hon- 
 oured father. Mercy, grace, abundant grace, be 
 with you. 
 
 " Yours in the bonds of Jesus, 
 
 "Duncan Matheson. 
 
 FROM A PRIVATE IN THE 97tH. 
 
 " Camp before Sebastopol, March 23d, 1855. 
 
 "My Dear Wife— On the night of the 22d 
 we had a visit from the Russians. A strong force 
 pushed up to our advanced works, and succeeded 
 in getting into the trenches where there was a 
 weak point. Several of our regiment got killed, 
 and amongst them was our gallant Captain, poor 
 Mr. Vicars, who wvas so deeply loved by all the 
 regiment. Even the officers almost all cried the 
 morning after the affair. 
 
 " He got a bayonet wound first, and then with 
 
"ln- memori^m." 289 
 
 a handful of his men drove the Russians oif and 
 out on their ground ; for where the affair hap- 
 pened is close to their own batteries. He was 
 seen to use his sword bravely, and cut down two 
 men, and had his sword raised to serve another 
 the same, when a bullet struck hira in the breast, 
 and he shouted out that he was only slightly 
 wounded. But, alas! poor fellow, he fell, and 
 died soon after. The Russians would have car- 
 ried him off and stripped him of all he was worth, 
 but our gallant lads bravely defended him, and 
 carried him off the field. 
 
 " We had four killed and four wounded, be- 
 sides fourteen missing, wiiich we expect w^ere 
 taken prisoners, as we took a great many Rus- 
 sians, and a great many were killed. Amongst 
 them some officers were killed at our mortar bat- 
 teries in attempting to spike them. For several 
 days here the Russians kept very quiet — did not 
 so much as fire a shot. We could not tell what 
 they were up to. 
 
 " Poor Ca2)tain Vicars will be deeply regretted 
 by all who knew him, but I know his soul is in 
 heaven. 
 
 " So no more at present, my dear wife, from 
 your affectionate husband, 
 
 " John Cotteeall, 97th." 
 
 From a private in the Coldstream Guards, for- 
 merly a Crystal Palace workman, who enlisted 
 25 
 
290 APPENDIX. 
 
 principally with the hope of being sent to the 
 Crimea, that he might see Captain Vicars again : 
 " St. George's Barracks, April 6th. 
 
 "Dear Lady — When I opened tlie paper it 
 made the tears come into my eyes, for to hear 
 that my beloyed friend had left this world. lie 
 is gone to sleep in Jesns. I wish I had been by 
 his side, and seen him fall asleep. But I know 
 that he is in greater glory than is to bo had in 
 this world. When last I saw him in Beckenham 
 amongst ns, little did I think that it was the last. 
 Bnt he fell in duty and glory. 
 
 " I expect we shall leave for the East in a day 
 or so. We are all at a minute's notice. I have all 
 the little books you gave me, packed up in my kit. 
 
 " I was always living in the hopes of seeing 
 that beloved, respected Captain, and honoured 
 brother in the Lord, out there, when I got a 
 chance of going out to him ; now I am disap- 
 pointed. Rut I Avill put no trust in princes to 
 get rae to heaven ; but I look on the blood of 
 Jesus on the cross. I will trust in Him, and he 
 will never forsake ma. For Jesus says — 
 " ' All ye that thirst, approach the stream 
 "Where living waters flow.' 
 
 " Our beloved friend is drinking of those living 
 waters now. 
 
 " So no more at present from your humble and 
 grateful friend, 
 
 " James Kelly, Coldstream Guards." 
 
" IN MEIIOKIAM." 291 
 
 TO 3IR3. VICARS. 
 
 "BeckExVHAm, April 7th, 1855. 
 
 "Dear Mrs. Vicars — I am not writing to you 
 merely a letter of sympathy. I believe I can 
 fully enter into your grief. Since the sudden 
 death of a dear child of my own — darling Lucy's 
 mother — I have never felt so thoroughly heart- 
 stricken. 
 
 " That brave soldier, that eminent Christian, 
 that active servant of Christ, that loving heart, 
 had wound itself round my heart. I could weep 
 all day ; but this is wrong. Let me think of the 
 honour conferred upon him in life ; of the easy 
 passage in death ; of the bliss of his spirit in para- 
 dise ; and of the brilliant example lie has left be- 
 hind ! I will try to think of him, rather than of 
 myself, or even of those so dear to me. But 
 their sorrows pierce me. But let me rather think 
 of the wisdom and love of Hif^ government who, 
 indeed, wept at the tomb of Lazarus, and, there- 
 fore, I may weep ; but intended that tomb to give 
 a higher display of the Divine glory. Oh, let us 
 trust where we cannot trace, and believe that we 
 shall discover only love in our most painful feel- 
 ings here. 
 
 "Yet a little while and Rev. vii. 13-17, and 
 xxi. 4, will be fulfilled: and there we shall meet 
 our beloved ones who have gone before (1 Thess. 
 iv. 13-18 ;) and the presence of the Lord will be 
 the sunshine upon all. I pray God comfort you 
 
292 APPENDIX. 
 
 and your dear children, and deai Lord and Lady 
 Rayleigh. 
 
 " Believe me to be, dear Mrs. Vicars, yours 
 faithfully and affectionately, 
 
 " Wm. Maesh." 
 
 extract op a letter from lord panmure to 
 lord rayleigh. 
 "War Department, April 21st, 1855. 
 " * * * I cannot but regard the death 
 of Captain Vicars as a national calamity, as it has 
 deprived the Queen and the nation of the service 
 of an officer who was distinguished by his gal- 
 lantry and devotion to the service." * * * 
 
 EXTRACT OF A LETTER FROM THE REV. DR. 
 BLACKWOOD. 
 
 " Scutari, April 30th, 1855. 
 " Occasionally, in the midst of the horrors of 
 war, one meets traits of character which are very 
 pleasing. You Avill have seen in the newspapers 
 some accounts of the death of Captain Vicars, of 
 the 97th Regiment, while gallantly repulsing a 
 night sortie of the Russians at the head of his 
 men in the trenches. This vms a good man^ and 
 in his instance is realized the promise, ' The mem- 
 ory of the just is blessed.' In passing through 
 one of my wards the day after the news of his 
 death had arrived at Scutari, I met with two or 
 three of his men, who spoke to me with the most 
 
"in memoeiam." 293 
 
 earnest and affectionate interest, inquiring the 
 trutli of the sad news. They all bore testimony 
 to his excellence, and to his unceasing and zealous 
 endeavouis to impress them with religious senti- 
 ments and instruct them in religious truth. Ho 
 appears to have acted as a father and evangelist 
 to his men. One very interesting youth wept 
 freely while he spoke of his own foi-mer Mild and 
 thoughtless course, from which he had been re- 
 claimed by the exhortations and instructions ot 
 Captain Vicars, who used to read and expound 
 the Scriptures and pray with his men individually, 
 as Avell as sometimes collectively. This young 
 man received religious books from me with evi- 
 dent intentions to use and profit by them, and 
 told me how Captain Vicars had exhorted him 
 to be useful in speaking a w^ord to his thoughtless 
 comrades, as well as in keeping his own faith. 
 What a blessing is such a character as Captain 
 Vicars ; and I believe there are not a few of the 
 like spirit just now in our army." 
 
 EXTRACT FROM THE LETTER OF A PRIVATE IN 
 THE 77th. 
 
 " The loss of Captain Vicars is felt by many — 
 many a one out here. But he rejoices, and en- 
 joys the fruits of his heavy labours in the loving 
 bosom of his God and Saviour. Willingly would 
 I have resigned my poor life to have prevented 
 the deadly blow. 
 
 25* 
 
294 APPENDIX. 
 
 " I wept for his loss, but now I envy him his 
 glory. 
 
 " I send you some clay I got on his grave, and 
 a rough sketch (but true) of his tombstone. His 
 men have ornamented the grave with shells, and 
 flowers are already growing there." 
 
 FROM CAPTAIX VICARS' SERVANT IN THE REGIMENT. 
 
 "Camp BEFORE Sebastopol, May 20th, 1855. 
 
 " Madam — The name of Captain Vicars is en- 
 graven on the hearts of the private soldiers of 
 the 97th, with feelings of love and gratitude. I 
 believe there is not a man in the Regiment but 
 Avould have run any risk to have saved his life. 
 I, as his servant, can assure you, he was as a 
 brother to me, aiid not as a master, though no 
 gentleman could be more honoured and re- 
 spected. I feel a happiness Avhen I think of the 
 home his soul is now enjoying. 
 
 " I am requested by the soldiers of the 97th to 
 say how pleased and thankful they will be for the 
 little books about him when they reach ; and I 
 beUeve there are many of the men will keep them 
 till the day they die. 
 
 "I remain, yours respectfully, 
 " Richard Young, 97th." 
 
 FROM AN OFFICER OF THE 97tH. 
 
 "Ma7 22d, 1855. 
 " * * * I can't tell you how much I felt 
 the loss of poor Vicars. Ever since I joined the 
 
295 
 
 Regiment lie was one of my best friends in every 
 sense of tlie word, always trying to do me 
 good, both by example and advice ; however, 
 I have no doubt the poor fellow is much ha})- 
 pier where he is; he fell, as he wished to fall, 
 at the head of his men, leading them on to victory. 
 I can't tell you hou^ much his company loved 
 him ; and if you were to see the poor fellow's 
 grave, how nicely they have done it round with 
 stones and shells, showing in the only way they 
 could how deeply they felt his loss ! 
 
 " At twelve o'clock on the night of the 22d 
 of March, his servant rushed into my tent, saying 
 they were bringing his master home wounded. 
 He must have died just before he arrived in camp, 
 for at the Picquet-house he asked the men that 
 were carrying him to put a cloak over him, as he 
 felt cold, and when I savr him a minute afterwards 
 he w^as dead. lie died an easy death — not the 
 slightest- sign of suflering about him. He avh 
 peared as if he Avere in a tranquil sleep ; his poor 
 servant and the soldier that carried him were all 
 in tears. I never saw an officer so much loved 
 as he was. Many a voav of vengeance was ut- 
 tered, and no doubt will be kept v/hen they get 
 the chance. I used to have such work to make 
 him take his pistols ; and that night I dined out, 
 and he did not take them. I have got his fur 
 coat, in which the poor fellow was shot, which I 
 am keeping in memory of one of the dearest 
 
296 APPENDIX. 
 
 friends I ever had. He hfis been a heavy loss to 
 ns all, but at the same time we can't help einy- 
 hini the glorious way in which he fell, and the 
 certainty of his now being so much hapjjier, and 
 in a better place than this wretched world of sin 
 fuid sorrow." * * - 
 
 From one of those soldiers of the 97th who 
 fought their way through the ranks of the Rus- 
 sians, as they closed round Captain Vicars when 
 he fell. The wiiter is a Roman Catholic : 
 
 "Camp bkfore Sebastopol, June 28th, 1855. 
 
 " Madam — I hope you will excuse the liberty 
 I take in acknowledging the receipt of your very 
 kind note of the 20th of May, 1855, and its en- 
 closure of half a sovereign ; also the handsome 
 good book you were so kind as to send me. I 
 am sure I have not done anything to deserve 
 such kindness ; what I have done in striving to 
 save the late beloved Captain Vicars any one sol- 
 dier in the Regiment would have done, for he 
 was beloved by all who knew him. His constant 
 care was the best way he could contribute to the 
 comfort of all under his command. As our Ad- 
 jutant, he was loved by every one in the regi- 
 ment, and, as Captain of No. 4 Company, he was 
 more so by hi-s Company. There is scarcely a 
 man in the regiment who would not have gladly 
 laid down his life to save his; and we all feel 
 sorrow when we think of our victory on the 22d 
 of March, on account of his loss. 
 
" IN ilEMOKIAM." 297 
 
 " I am soiT}- that I cannot express my thanks 
 for your kind wishes and your handsome present, 
 a book not much read by the humble classes of 
 my persuasion ; but your book I will read and 
 study, so that I might become worthy to meet 
 your beloved friend, and our no less beloved 
 friend, in glory. 
 
 " The letter you so kindly sent me I am send- 
 ing to my mother, for fear that, through its 
 smallness, I might lose it ; and if it should please 
 the Lord to take me, I have given directions to 
 have the Bible sent also. It is not for the intrin- 
 sic value that I prize them. No ! it is the pride 
 I feel in an humble individual like me to have my 
 name coupled with all that was good. All our 
 officers are kind and good, but he was best, and 
 most beloved. 
 
 " I, and every one that has heard of your kind- 
 ness, sincerely sympathise in your loss. I most re- 
 spectfully again beg you will forgive my pre- 
 sumption in writing to you in return for your 
 kindness, but I felt my debt to you so much that 
 I could not but thank you. I humbly hope you 
 will excuse me for trespassing on your time so 
 long ; I am only sorry I cannot thank you as I 
 should. 
 
 " I beg to remain, 
 
 "Your very obedient humble servant, 
 
 " el. O'RiELLY, 
 
 "Private, Xo, 3 Company, 97th Regiment." 
 
298 APPEXDIX. 
 
 The following letter will be read with melan- 
 choly interest, as it is from the pen of one who 
 fell foremost in the Redan, whilst gallantly lead- 
 ing the forlorn hope, on the 8th of September, 
 and was followed to a soldier's grave with no 
 common regret : 
 
 " Camp, June 29th, 1855. 
 
 " My Dear Lady Ray-leigh — My brother of- 
 ficers have requested me to acknowledge your 
 kindness, and to thank you very much for your 
 remembrance of them in forwarding the books 
 descriptive of the life of their poor friend and 
 fellow-soldier, Captain Vicars. Believe me, no 
 one was, or could be, more regretted than he 
 was ; for, anxious, zealous, and attentive to his 
 duties, he was also most cheerful, self-denying, 
 and obliging to his friends and companions. The 
 narrative truly states, that whilst he entered 
 with all his lieart into the interests and duties of 
 a soldier, his lips and life held one unchanging 
 story of the love of Christ. 
 
 " It must be a very great source of consolation 
 to his mother to know that, in all this army, none, 
 as far as human observation can judge, was more 
 prepared to meet his Maker. 
 
 " I was not in the trench the night he suffered ; 
 but hearing that some wounded men had been 
 sent up, I had risen and gone to the hospital with 
 the doctor : Avhilst there, I was informed that he 
 was being brought in, and hastening to meet 
 
" IN MEMOEIA^I." 299 
 
 him, found, poor fellow, tbat be had breathed his 
 last — as his bearers informed me, calmly and 
 quietly, having spoken a few minutes before I 
 met them. 
 
 " I must beg you to convey my condolence to 
 his poor mother, to whom I would have written 
 at the time had I known her address, but I wag 
 very busy, the regiment having just shifted 
 ground, and being much pressed with duty, I 
 left the correspondence to a personal and inti- 
 mate fiiend of his, Major Ingram. 
 
 "Believe me, my dear Lady Rayleigh, most 
 truly to remain yours, 
 
 "A. F. Welsfoed, 
 " Major Commanding, 97th Regiment." 
 
 ' Then let us be content to leave behind us 
 So much ; which yet we leave not quite behind; 
 For the bright memories of the holy dead, 
 The blessed ones departed, shine on us 
 Like the pure splendours of some clear large star, 
 Which pilgrims, travelling onward, at their back 
 Leave, and at ever}^ moment see not now : 
 Yet, whensoe'er they list, may pause and turn. 
 And with its glories gild their faces still. 
 Or, as beneath a northern sky is seen 
 The sunken sunset living in the west, 
 A tender radiance there surviving long. 
 Which has not faded all away, before 
 The flaming banners of the morn advance 
 Over the summits of the Orient hills."* 
 
 * Trench. 
 
SOO APPE-JTDIX. 
 
 In the majority of the few extracts quoted in this 
 chapter, from a large number of letters of nearly 
 equal interest, the 9Vth Regiment have borne 
 their own testimony to their value for Hedley 
 Vicars 
 
 In conclusion, the writer of these memorials 
 would venture to repeat, with a deeper meaning, 
 his own last words to his faithful men, " This 
 WAY, 97th !" And would add a humble prayer, 
 not only for that gallant regiment (in which all 
 who loved Hedley Vicars must ever feel a peculiar 
 interest), but also for every soldier in the British 
 army, that each may tread the same path to end- 
 less glory, by finding Him who is "the Way, the 
 Tkuth, and the Life ;" that, taught of the Holy 
 Spirit, as this young soldier was, they may learn, 
 as he did, to follow Jesus " in the blessed steps 
 of His most holy life ;" and may at last inherit 
 with him those pleasures which are at God's 
 right hand, for evermore. 
 
 '"''If any man serve 77ie, let hira follow me/ and 
 
 WHERE I AM, THERE SHALL MY SERVANT BE. If 
 
 any man serve me, him w^ill my Father ho- 
 nour. (John xii.) 
 
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