Love Sonnets 
 
 PS 
 
 S. E. KISER 
 
 Of An Office Boy 
 
Class _Ei-3£ll— 
 CopghtN''__.a02. 
 
 COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 
 
LOVE SONNETS OF AN 
 OFFICE BOY 
 
Mfm&M 
 
Love Sonnets of an 
 Office Boy 
 
 By 
 
 Samuel Ellsworth Kiser 
 
 Illustrated by 
 John T. McCutcheon 
 
 Forbes & Company 
 
 Boston and Chicago 
 
 1902 
 
Copyright, jgo2 
 By Samuel Ellsworth Kiser 
 
 THF LIBRARY OF 
 
 CONGRESS, 
 T.<xo CoPits RtCKiverj 
 
 m^, %% 1902 
 
 (?OPVl»iQHT ENTRY 
 
 CL/»S,*5 CV^-XXo No. 
 
 corv B. 
 
 
 Published by arrangement with 
 The Chicago Record-Herald 
 
 
 Colonial Press: Electrotyped and Printed 
 by C. H. Siraonds & Co., Boston, U. S. A. 
 
LOVE SONNETS OF AN 
 OFFICE BOY 
 
 I. 
 
 OH, if you only knowed how much I hke 
 To stand here, when the " old man " 
 ain't around. 
 And watch your soft, white fingers while 
 you pound 
 Away at them there keys ! Each time you 
 
 ^^^^^^ u u M 
 
 It almost seems to me as though you d 
 
 found 
 Some way, while writin* letters, how to play 
 Sweet music on that thing, because the 
 
 sound 
 Is something I could listen to all day. 
 
 You Ve twenty-five or six and I 'm fourteen. 
 And you don't hardly ever notice me — 
 But when you do, you call me Willie ! Gee, 
 
 I wisht I 'd bundles of the old long green 
 And could be twenty-eight or nine or so. 
 And something happened to your other 
 beau. 
 
11. 
 
 T HEARD the old man scoldin' yesterday 
 Because your spellin' did n't suit him 
 quite ; 
 He said you 'd better go to school at night, 
 And you was rattled when he turned away ; 
 
 You had to tear the letter up and write 
 It all again, and when nobody seen 
 
 I went and dented in his hat for spite : 
 That 's what he got for treatin' you so mean. 
 
 I wish that you typewrote for me and we 
 Was far off on an island, all alone ; 
 
 I 'd fix a place up under some nice tree. 
 
 And every time your fingers struck a key 
 I 'd grab your hands and hold them in 
 my own. 
 
 And any way you spelt would do for me. 
 
III. 
 
 T WISH a fire 'd start up here, some day, 
 And all the rest would run away from 
 you — 
 The boss and that long-legged book- 
 keeper, too, 
 That you keep smilin' at — and after they 
 Was all down-stairs you 'd holler out and 
 say : 
 " Won't no one come and save me ? Must 
 
 I choke 
 And die alone here in the heat and smoke ? 
 Oh, cowards that they was to run away ! " 
 
 And then I 'd come and grab you up and go 
 Out through the hall and down the stairs, 
 
 and when 
 I got you saved the crowd would cheer, 
 and then 
 They 'd take me to the hospital, and so 
 You 'd come and stay beside me there and 
 
 cry 
 And say you 'd hate to live if I would die. 
 
IV. 
 
 VTESTERDAY I stood behind your chair 
 When you was kind of bendin' down 
 to write, 
 And I could see your neck, so soft and 
 white, 
 And notice where the poker singed your hair. 
 And then you looked around and seen me 
 there, 
 And kind of smiled, and I could seem to 
 feel 
 A sudden empty, sinkish feehn' where 
 
 I 'm all filled up when I Ve just e't a meal. 
 
 Dear Frankie, where your soft, sweet finger 
 
 tips 
 Hit on the keys I often touch my lips. 
 
 And wunst I kissed your little overshoe. 
 And I have got a hairpin that you wore — 
 One day I found it on the office floor — 
 
 I 'd throw my job up if they fired you. 
 
 lO 
 
V. 
 
 CHE 'S got a dimple in her chin, and, oh, 
 How soft and smooth it looks ; her 
 eyes are blue ; 
 The red seems always tryin' to peep 
 through 
 The middle of her cheeks. I 'd like to go 
 And lay my face up next to hers and throw 
 My arms around her neck, with just us 
 
 two 
 Alone together, but not carin' who 
 Might scold if they should see us actin' so. 
 
 If I would know that some poor girl loved 
 me 
 As much as I do her, sometimes I *d take 
 Her in my arms a little while and make 
 Her happy just for kindness, and to see 
 The pleased look that acrost her face 'd 
 break, 
 And hear the sighs that showed how glad 
 she 'd be. 
 
 II 
 
VI. 
 
 V\/'HEN you 're typewritin' and that 
 long-legged clerk 
 Tips back there on his chair and smiles 
 
 at you, 
 And you look up and get to smilin', too, 
 I 'd like to go and give his chair a jerk 
 And send him flyin' till his head went 
 through 
 The door that goes out to the hall, and 
 when 
 They picked him up he 'd be all black 
 and blue 
 And you 'd be nearly busted laughin' then. 
 
 But if I done it, maybe you would run 
 And hold his head and smooth his hair 
 
 and say 
 It made you sad that he got dumped that 
 way. 
 And I 'd get h'isted out for what I done — 
 I wish that he 'd get fired and you 'd stay 
 And suddenly I *d be a man some day. 
 
 12 
 
VII. 
 
 TF I was grown to be a man, and you 
 
 And all the others that are workin' here 
 Was always under me, and I could clear 
 
 The place to-morrow if I wanted to, 
 
 I 'd buy an easy chair all nice and new 
 And get a bird to sing above your head. 
 And let you set and rest all day, instead 
 
 Of hammerin' them keys the way you do. 
 
 I 'd bounce that long-legged clerk and then 
 
 I *d raise 
 Your wages and move up my desk beside 
 Where you 'd be settin,' restin* there, 
 
 and I 'd 
 Not care about the weather — all the days 
 Would make me glad, and in the evenings 
 
 then 
 I 'd wish *t was time to start to work 
 
 again. 
 
 14 
 
VIII. 
 
 n^HIS morning when that homely, long- 
 legged clerk 
 Come in he had a rose he got somewhere ; 
 He went and kind of leaned against her 
 chair, 
 Instead of goin* on about his work. 
 And stood around and talked to her awhile. 
 Because the boss was out, — and both 
 
 took care 
 To watch the door ; and when he left her 
 there 
 He dropped the flower with a sickish smile. 
 
 I snuck it from the glass of water she 
 Had stuck it in, and tore it up and put 
 It on the floor and smashed it with my 
 foot. 
 When neither him nor her was watchin' 
 me — 
 I 'd like to rub the stem acrost his nose, 
 And I wish they 'd never be another rose. 
 
 i6 
 
IX. 
 
 Y'ESTERDAY I watched you when you 
 ^ set 
 
 There with your little lunch-box in your 
 
 lap ; 
 I seen you nibble at a ginger snap, 
 And wished that where your lips had made 
 
 it wet 
 I 'd have a chance to take a bite and let 
 My mouth be right where yours was be- 
 fore ; 
 And after you had got your apple e't, 
 
 And was n't lookin', I picked up the core. 
 
 I pressed my mouth against it then, and so 
 It seemed almost the same as kissin' you, 
 Your teeth had touched it, and your red 
 lips, too. 
 And it was good and tasted sweet, and, oh, 
 I wished you 'd bring an apple every day 
 And I could have the cores you 'd throw 
 away. 
 
 17 
 
X. 
 
 T WISH, when you was through your work 
 some night 
 And goin' home alone, and had your pay 
 Stuck in your stockin' — what you drew 
 that day — 
 A robber 'd come along with all his might 
 And you 'd be nearly scared to death, and 
 right 
 There in the street you 'd almost faint and 
 
 say : 
 "Good robber, please don't hurt me — 
 go away ! " 
 And as he grabbed you then I 'd come in 
 sight. 
 
 I wish I 'd be as strong as two or three 
 Big giants then, and when I handed one 
 Out to him he 'd be through, all in, and 
 done. 
 And then you 'd look and see that it was me. 
 And, thinkin' of the great escape you 
 
 had, 
 You 'd snuggle in my arms and just be glad. 
 
 i8 
 
XL 
 
 "LTER brother come this morning with a 
 ^ note 
 
 What said that she was home and sick in 
 bed ; 
 
 She 's got an awful bad cold in her head — 
 They think it might run into the sore throat, 
 And oh, what if she 'd not come back again. 
 
 And they would get some other girl instead 
 
 Of her to typewrite here, and she 'd be 
 dead? 
 I would n't care no more for nothin' then. 
 
 I wish I was the doctor that they 'd get. 
 And when I 'd take her pulse I 'd hold 
 her hand 
 And say " Poor little girl ! " to her, and set 
 Beside the bed awhile and kind of let 
 
 My arm go 'round her, slow and careful, 
 and 
 Say, " Now put out your tongue a little, pet." 
 
 20 
 
XII. 
 
 CHE'S back to work again; I'm awful 
 •^ glad; 
 
 When she was sick it seemed to me as 
 
 though 
 The clocks all got to goin' kind of slow, 
 And every key she pounds looked kind of sad. 
 It 's tough to have to hear her coughin' 
 so — 
 I wish that I could take her cold and she 
 Would know I took it, and not have to 
 blow 
 Her nose no more, and be as well as me. 
 
 She takes some kind of cough stuff in a 
 spoon, 
 I seen her lickin' it this morning when 
 She took a dose and put it down again. 
 And when the rest went out awhile at noon 
 I got her spoon and licked it, and it seemed 
 As though it all was something nice I 
 dreamed. 
 
 21 
 
XIII. 
 
 T AST night I dreamed about her In my 
 sleep ; 
 I thought that her and me had went away 
 Out on some hill where birds sung 'round 
 all day, 
 And I had got a job of herdin' sheep. 
 I thought that she had went along to keep 
 Me comp'ny, and we 'd set around for 
 
 hours 
 Just lovin'j and I 'd go and gather flowers 
 And pile them at her feet, all in a heap. 
 
 It seemed to me like heaven, bein' there 
 With only her besides the sheep and birds. 
 And us not sayin' anything but words 
 
 About the way we loved. I would n't care 
 To ever wake again if I could still 
 Dream we was there forever on the hill. 
 
 22 
 
M'Cutum 
 
XIV. 
 
 nr'HIS morning when we come to work I 
 got 
 Jammed in the elevator back of you, and 
 
 there 
 They made you stick your elbow in me 
 where 
 The mince pie lands ; the lunch that I had 
 brought 
 Was all smashed flat, but still I did n't 
 care ; 
 You leaned against me, for you could n't 
 
 stand 
 Because the ones in front were crowdin', and 
 My nose was pressed deep into your back 
 hair. 
 
 I wish we 'd had to go ten times as high. 
 Or else that we 'd be shootin' upward yet. 
 And never stop no more until we 'd get 
 
 Away above the clouds and in the sky. 
 And you 'd lean back forevermore and let 
 
 Your hairpins always jab me in the eye. 
 
 24 
 
XV. 
 
 XX^HEN her and me were here alone, at 
 noon, 
 And she had bit a pickle square in two, 
 I set and watched and listened to her 
 chew. 
 And thought how sweet she was, and pretty 
 
 soon 
 She happened to look down at me and say : 
 '' You seem so sad, poor boy ; what 's 
 
 wrong with you ? " 
 And then I got to shiverin' all through 
 And wished that I was forty miles away. 
 
 I tried to think of some excuse to make. 
 But something seemed all whirly in my 
 
 head, 
 And so the first blame thing I knew I 
 said : 
 " It's nothin' only just the stummick ache." 
 Sometimes I almost wisht that I was dead 
 For settin' there and makin' such a break. 
 
 25 
 
XVI. 
 
 T AST night I heard Jones astin' you to 
 
 go 
 To see the opery next Thursday night, 
 
 And you said yes — and he '11 be settin' 
 
 right 
 
 Beside you there all through the whole 
 
 blamed show, 
 
 And you '11 be touchin' him with your 
 
 elbow. 
 
 And mebby he '11 say things that tickle 
 
 you 
 
 And buy a box of chock'luts for you, too, 
 
 And I '11 not be around nor never know. 
 
 I wish I 'd be the hero on the stage. 
 
 And you was the fair maiden that got 
 
 stoled. 
 And he would be the villain that would 
 
 hold 
 You frettin' like a song-bird in its cage — 
 And then I 'd come along and smash him 
 
 one. 
 And you 'd say : " Take me, dear, for 
 
 what you done." 
 
 26 
 
XVII. 
 
 'XX/'HEN I was dustin' off her desk one 
 day. 
 And she was standin' there, I took the 
 
 pad 
 She writes on when she gets dictates and 
 had 
 A notion to tear off a leaf and lay 
 It up against my heart at night, when they 
 Was something made her come to where 
 
 I stood 
 And say, " Poor boy," as softly as she 
 could — 
 It almost seemed to take my breath away. 
 
 That night I could n*t sleep at all becuz 
 The thoughts about them words that she 
 
 had said 
 Kep' all the time a-goin' through my head 
 With thoughts about how beautiful she wuz. 
 And then I knowed she loved me, too, 
 
 or she 
 Would not of cared how hard I worked, 
 you see. 
 
 28 
 
XVIII. 
 
 T 'D like to Have a lock of her brown hair, 
 For that would be a part of her, you 
 know; 
 And if she 'd tie it with a little bow 
 Of ribbon, then I 'd fasten it somewhere 
 Clear down inside, next to my heart, to 
 wear, 
 And fix it over every week or so. 
 When I changed undershirts, or maw 
 she 'd go 
 And raise a fuss because she found it there. 
 
 One day when bizness was n't on the boom 
 She trimmed her finger-nails, and one 
 piece flew 
 To where I was, almost acrost the room ; 
 I watched the spot where it went tum- 
 blin' to, 
 And now a piece of her is mine ; it come 
 Right from the end of her dear little thumb. 
 
 29 
 
XIX. 
 
 T WISH, some day, when she 's typewritin* 
 ^ and 
 
 I Ve took a note out for the boss some- 
 where. 
 They 'd be some outlaws sneak in here 
 and scare 
 That long-legged clerk to death and then 
 the band 
 Would steal her, and nobody else would 
 dare 
 To try to save her, and they 'd run away 
 To where they had their cave, and keep 
 her there. 
 And ast more for her than her folks could pay. 
 
 Then I would get a gun and bowie-knife 
 And take the name of Buckskin Bob or Joe, 
 And track them to their den, and then 
 rdgo _ ^ 
 A-galley whoopin' in, and save her life. 
 And she would say : " My hero 's came 
 
 at last ! " 
 And we 'd stand there and hold each 
 other fast. 
 
 30 
 
XX. 
 
 T AST night, when she 'd got on her coat 
 and hat 
 And felt her dress behind and then her 
 
 hair. 
 To see if everything was all right there, 
 She stopped and said : " Well, now just look 
 
 at that ! " 
 And then put out one foot a little bit. 
 
 And says : " Ain't that provokin' ? I 
 
 declare. 
 The string 's untied ! " She put it on a 
 chair, 
 A-motionin' for me to fasten it. 
 
 So then that long-legged clerk he pushed 
 
 me back 
 And grabbed the shoe-strings that were 
 
 hangin' down — 
 I wish I was the strongest man in town — 
 Oh, wouldn't I of let him have a whack ! 
 And I 'd of kicked him so blamed hard 
 
 I'll bet 
 He 'd wonder what he might come down 
 
 on yet. 
 
 32 
 
XXI. 
 
 TV/TY darling, often when you set and think 
 
 Of things that seem to kind of bother 
 
 you, 
 
 You put your pencil in your mouth and 
 
 chew 
 
 Around the wood, and let your sweet teeth 
 
 sink 
 Down in it till it 's all marked up and split, 
 And yesterday I seen you when you threw 
 A stub away that you 'd bit up ; it flew 
 Behind the bookcase, where I gobbled it. 
 
 I put it in my mouth, the way you 'd done. 
 
 And I could feel the little holes you made — 
 
 The places where your teeth sunk in — I 
 
 laid 
 
 My tongue tight up against them, every one. 
 
 And shut my eyes, and then you seemed 
 
 to be 
 There with your lips on mine and kissin' 
 me. 
 
 L.cFC. 
 
 33 
 
XXII. 
 
 V^^HEN I was tellin' ma, two days ago, 
 About our beautiful typewriter girl 
 She dropped the dough and give a sudden 
 whirl 
 And said : " She 's twic't as old as you, you 
 
 know — 
 She must be twenty-five or six or so. 
 
 Don't think about her any more, my dear. 
 
 And you and me '11 be always happy here — 
 
 Besides, she 's nothing but an old scarecrow," 
 
 It made me sad to hear her talk that way ; 
 My darling 's just a little girl almost — 
 I can't see why ma give her such a roast. 
 
 And I could hardly eat my lunch next day. 
 For every time I took a bite of bread 
 I almost hated ma for what she said. 
 
 34 
 
XXIII. 
 
 'T^HE other day a rusty pen got stuck 
 
 Away deep in her finger, and she held 
 Her poor, dear Httle hand up then and 
 yelled 
 For me to hurry over there and suck 
 The poison out, and when I went I struck 
 My toe against the old man's cuspidor 
 And rolled about eight feet along the floor 
 Before I knew what happened, blame the 
 luck! 
 
 When I set up and looked around, at last 
 That long-legged, homely clerk was there, 
 
 and so 
 He had her finger in his mouth, and, oh, 
 I '11 bet you I 'd 'a' kicked him if 1 dast ! 
 I never seen the beat the way things go 
 When there 's a chance for me to stand a 
 show. 
 
 36 
 
XXIV. 
 
 n^HAT homely clerk took her out for a 
 ■■- ride 
 
 Last Sunday in a buggy, and they rode 
 Around all through the parks ; I wisht I 'd 
 knowed 
 About it, and the horse would kind of shied, 
 And then got scared and run and kicked, 
 and I 'd 
 Of been a piece ahead and saw him jump 
 And leave her hangin' on alone, the 
 chump. 
 And she 'd of been so 'fraid she 'd nearly died. 
 
 Then I 'd of give a spring and caught the bit. 
 And landed on the horse's back, where all 
 The people there could see me doin' it. 
 And when I got her saved the crowd 
 
 would call 
 Three cheers for me, and then she 'd 
 come and fall 
 Against my buzzum, and he 'd have a fit. 
 
 37 
 
XXV. 
 
 T DON'T care if she 's twic't as old as me, 
 For I 've been figgerin* and figgers 
 shows 
 That I '11 grow older faster than she grows, 
 And when 1 'm twenty-one or so, why, she 
 Won't be near twic't as old as me no more, 
 And then almost the first thing that she 
 
 knows 
 I might ketch up to her some day, I 
 s'pose. 
 And both of us be gladder than before. 
 
 When I get whiskers I can let them grow 
 All up and down my cheeks and on my 
 
 chin. 
 And in a little while they might begin 
 To make me look as old as her, and so 
 She 'd snuggle up to me and call me 
 
 paw. 
 And then I 'd call her " pet " instead of 
 " maw." 
 
 38 
 
XXVI. 
 
 /^NE morning when the boss was out 
 somewhere 
 And when the clerk was at the bank and 
 me 
 
 And her was here alone together, she 
 Let out a screech and jumped up in the air 
 And grabbed her skirts and yelled : " A 
 mouse ! " And there 
 One come a-runnin' right at her, and, gee ! 
 They was n't a blame thing that I could 
 see 
 To whack it with, except an office chair. 
 
 I grabbed one up and made a smash and hit 
 Her desk and broke a leg clear off some- 
 how. 
 And when the boss came back and looked 
 at it 
 He said that I would have to pay, and 
 now. 
 When ma finds out I know just what I '11 
 git — 
 Next pay-day there will be an awful row. 
 
 40 
 
XXVII. 
 
 TT 'S over now ; the blow has fell at last ; 
 It seems as though the sun can't shine 
 no more, 
 And nothing looks the way it did before ; 
 The glad thoughts that I used to think are 
 
 past. 
 Her desk 's shut up to-day, the lid 's locked 
 fast ; 
 The keys where she typewrote are still ; 
 
 her chair 
 Looks sad and lonesome standin' empty 
 there — 
 I 'd like to let the tears come if I dast. 
 
 This morning when the boss come in he 
 found 
 A letter that he 'd got from her, and so 
 He read it over twice and turned around 
 And said : " The little fool 's got mar- 
 ried ! " Oh, 
 It seemed as if I 'd sink down through the 
 ground. 
 And never peep no more — I did n*t, 
 though. 
 
 41 
 
XXVIIL 
 
 'T^HE chap 's a beau we did n't know she 
 ^ had, 
 
 He come from out of town somewhere, 
 
 they say ; 
 I hope he 's awful homely, and that they 
 Will fight like cats and dogs and both be 
 
 sad. 
 But still there 's one thing makes me kind 
 of glad : 
 The long-legged clerk must stay and work 
 
 away. 
 And, though he keeps pretendin' to be 
 
 gay> 
 
 It 's plain enough to see he 's feelin' bad. 
 
 I wish when I 'm a man and rich and proud, 
 She 'd see me, tall and handsome then, 
 
 and be 
 Blamed sorry that she did n't wait for me. 
 And that she 'd hear the people cheerin' 
 
 loud 
 When I v/ent past, and down there in the 
 crowd 
 I 'd see her lookin' at me sorrowf'ly. 
 
 42 
 
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