2385 [ POST PRBE -I g|l OR In Great Britain only 635 29 FRENCH'S ACTING EDITION jy 1 - ■ - . - PATTY PACKS A BAG (DAVID C ARROW), The FEE for each AMATEUR representation of the II,. piece is 15/-, payable in advance to SAMUEL FRENCH, ., Ltd., 28, Southampton Street, Strand, London, W.C. i:iONDaN ; SAJVIUEL FRENCH, Ltd., PUBLISHERS, \\2S, SOUTHAMPTON STREET. STKAND. NilW YOIIR ; SAJSIUEL FRENCH, PUBLISHER, 28, WP:ST 38th STREET. (# '. ) BELFAST- J.NiCHOLSON. 26. Church Lane. BIRMINGHAM- James Gdrst, 12, Snow Hill. W . H. Smith & Sox, 34, Union St. BRADFORD- W. H. Smith & Sox, 5, Dale Street. BRISTOL- li\ ToLKMAN, 2, Rupert Street. DUBLIN- Morrow's Library,12,Nas8au St. EDINBURGH- H. KoBrxsox. 111-115, Leith St. GLASGGW- Wm. Love. 221, Argyle Street. LEEDS- R. Jackson, 18, Commercial St. LIVERPOOL— J. UUKKINSHAW & Son.-*, 28-30, Colquitt Street. MANCHESTER- JOHN Hbywood, Deansgate and RidgeSdlii. NEWCASTLE-ON-TYNE- Thomas Allan, IS & 20, Blackett Street. PLYMOUTH- \V. Hkardkr, 195, Union St PRESTON- J, Watkinson, 41, Cannon St. SHEFFIELD- (lEo. Slater, Fitzalan Sq. BOMBAY- I'HACKKR A Co. CALCUTTA- Thacker, Spink & Co. MADRAS- HlGGINBOTHAM :ES13«-. iiept in two sizes. The size of the back scene of the smaller ont is nearly il« leet long and 8i feet high, and extends with the Wings and Border to 15 feet long and 8 feet high. The back scene of the large one is 13 feet long and 9 feet high and extends with the Wings and Botder to 20 feet long and Hi ieet high. It is not necessa^j to have the scene the height of the room, as blue paper to represent sky is usually hung at the top. & s. d- Small Size, with Wings and Border complete, unmounted . . . . 1 10 Ditto, mounted .330 Large Size, with Wings and Border complete unmounted . . . . 2 6 Ditto, mounted =.. ..440 Blue Paper 20 inches by 30, per sheet .,002 Kept ill two sizes, same as the Garden Scene, and at siniiiai pi i 1 PATTY PACKS A BAG PATTY PACKS A BAG A COMEDIETTA By DAVID GARROW Copyright, 191 i, by Samuel French, Limited New York SAMUEL FRE^XH Publisher 28-30 WEST 38TH STREET London SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd 26 Southampton Street STRAND / (£CI.D 23934 PATTY PACKS A BAG By DAVID GARROW. Produced on Monday, February 27, 191 1, at the Grand Theatre, Southampton, with the following cast of characters — Patty Landon (a Young Girl) . . Miss May NoyHs. Mrs. Landon (her Mother) . . . Miss Maty Bayfrick. Captain Finch (a middle-aged Sea- Cap tain) . . Mr. F. A. Mavston. Scene. — Sitting-room of a Small House in a Seaside Town. Ail applications respecting the performance of this play — both by professional and amateur companies- must be addressed to the sole proprietors : — Messrs. SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 26, Southampton Street, Strand, London, or their authorized agents. The fee of fifteen shillings for each and every amateur representation must be paid prior to per- f6rmd,nce and a written authority obtained, giving permission for the production of the play. Any costumes or wigs required in the performance of " Patty Packs a Bag " may be hired or purchased reasonably from Messrs. Chas. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, Wellington Street, Strand, London. PATTY PACKS A BAG Scene. — Sitting-room of a small' house in a sea^side town. .Window at back. Door R. {into hull or passage.) Fireplace l., door l!, helow fireplace. Table l.c. with small white cloth on the dark one, tea laid for one. A mans things, pipes, telescope, papers, etc., are lying about among work-baskets, books, etc. . : - > (Mrs. Landon sits in armchair l. above fireplace, sewing. Enter r. Captain Finch, good-looking, bluff man of forty-two, carrying a big Gladstone bag., with a huge ticket bearing the •words, "^ Sale Price, 25S-") Mrs. Landon. Ah, Captain, I was wondering what had become of you! Patty and I have . had our tea, and she's gone out shopping. Captain {frowning and embarrassed). Miss Patty generally does go out when I come in ! Mrs. L. {surprised). My Patty! Why, Captain, I thought you and she were the best of friends \ {Rises, pours out tea.) Captain. So did I. Mrs. Landon, till lately. But she's grown that stand-off and uppish, she won't let her father's old friend come nigh her. Mrs. L. Oh, Captain, Lm sure there's some mis- understanding ! Patty's the last person to put on airs, and with you, who have lived with us so long, you're quite one of the family. PATTY PACKS A BAG Captain. One of the family ! No, ma'am, that's just what I've been made to feel I'm not. (Thumps his Gladstone hag down on chair r.) M.'RS. I., [alarmed). There's some mistake. Let me put your bag away for you. [Crosses r., sees ticket. With nervous playfulness.) Been investing, I see ! Captain [sits r. of table, drinks tea). Yes, ma'am. I'm — I'm- [loudly and defiantly) I'm going to get married. Mrs. L. [standing down R., drops back and turns. Faintly) . To get married I Then — then you're go- ing away ? Captain [stabs the loaf with the bread knife). Yes, ma'am, I'm going away to-night. Mrs. L. [with a cry of dismay). Oh ! To-night ! Captain [fiercely). Yes, Mrs. Landon, when a thing's got to be done, it's best to get it over. [Rises and goes l. of table.) Mrs. L. But you can't get married without notice ; Captain. I am aware of that, ma'am. But I pro- pose to take up my residence at once in the house of my future wife. Mrs. L. [with intelligence). Oh ! Captain [takes out his purse). I owe you some notice, I know. But I'll plank down the money for a month's pay and rations instead. [Puts down money on table.) Mrs. L. [goes r. of table, brushes the money towards him — with feeling). No, Captain Finch, it's no ques- tion of money and notice with my husband's old friend. Put your money in your purse, and God bless you. Ay, and God bless your future wife too, who- ever she is ! Captain (tries to be firm, breaks down, shakes her hand warmly across table). Well then, God bless you too ! And mind this, [earnestly) I'd never have left you, never, but for the airs of that girl of yours, Patty. [Door heard opening outside R., and Vatty laughing.) PATTY PACKS A BAG. 9 (Furious.) There she is, the minx ! Give me my bag ! I must pack up ! {Snatches bag and exits l. hurriedly.) (Mrs. Landon begins to pile up the tea-things l. of table. Enter Patty r. in hat, with many small ■ parcels, laughing.) Patty. Oh, m.other, I shall die of laughing. I know I shall i (Throws down broken parcels on table.) Mrs. L. (interrupts tartly). You'll laugh the other side of your mouth when you hear what Tve got to tell you. Captain Finch is going away — to-night — to be married. Patty (her face suddenly changes). To be — married ! Mrs. L. Yes. [Whimpering.) After three years, and seeming to have quite settled down with us. x\nd it's all your fault. Patty. My fault ! Mrs. L. Yes. He says you've been "uppish" with him, and I must say I've noticed myself there was something. Patty (suddenly). I know w^ho it is ! It's that old wasp. Miss Pilcher. Mrs. L. Miss Pilcher ! Surely he wouldn't marry a vinegary old maid ! Patty (decidedly). She's buttered him up ! I've seen her m3/self. (Mimics.) " My dear Captain Finch, and how are you this morning ? " La-di-da- di-da-di-da I (Mimics, smirking and ogling, folding her hands, turning head and eyes, first to one side then to the other.) Mrs. L. (sighing). Do you know, Patty, I had a sort of fancy he might be after you. Don't you like him ? Patty (half-shy, half-resentful). I didn't want people to say I was running after him. 10 I PATarr PACKS A BAG: Miis. L'. (sharply):' '^^;now somebody else has T; run'.iafter him, and tmt^hthim too I ^•i Patty [with for cS:p carelessness, sits r., drums her "^ heels- ok the floor, hoMMg ^chair on each side and leaning back). I don't care — I don't care — I don't c4,re a''' %! • ■ '■ '■ ' ^' [ -;■' ,, Mrs. L. (ow verge of tears, takes up tea-tray). Bui I ' care.'- ' I do'n't know ze^/z^w I've had such a knock-down blow.'' (Crosses r.)'"'' ' ■ Patty (meets hery-ti^esto take tray). Where's Lticy ■ gone to ? : i ; i Mrs. L. It's her evening out. Patty. Then I'll' take this. Mr^. L. No, no /I want something to do, to keep ■ me torn thinking. ' ' ''' (Exit Mrs. Landon, r.) CAPTAIN (outside 1.. bawls). Mrs. Landon ! (Patty starts, looks' demure, takes off hat slowly, goes up L.) (Outside L., louder.) Mrs. Landon ! (Enter l. Captain Finch, with his arms full of clothes, etc:l ^carrying his '-bag," still bearing its sale ticket.) Mrs. Landon ! (Catches sight of Patty — with elabor- . atk Mffness) Oh, I'^'beg pardon. I thought Mrs. Landon w^as here. i Pa'tt-y. Is there ' anything / can do for you, Captain ? ' Oa'Pt Km (very stiffly). Oh, I shouldn't like to trouble you. ; Patty. Perhaps it wouldn't be a trouble.- Tell me what ydu want done. Captain. I only Wished to request Mrs. Landon' s assistance in packing my bag. I used to be. a very PATTY PACKS A BAG. 11 good packer, but I seem someiiow to have lost th^ knick. (Opens hog, shows clean shirts crumpled up, with hoots and hoUles and hooks stuck in anyhoij^.) . Patty (laughs). I'm afraid you have. Let .me.., try. (Tries to take hag,) . .,>: ,, Captain (l.. stiffly, resisting). Oh no, 1 couldn't think of it. Patty. Oh yes, you'd better. It's the last time I shall do anything for you, y oil know. (Takes hag, . puts it on floor down stage, leans down to it.) Captain (resentfully). I've no doubt you're very glad of that. Patty (xvithout heeding). In the first place we'd better take everything out, I think. (Takes things out and puts them on table.) And be quite sure, before we begin to pack, that we've got positively every- thing. You don't want to leave anj'thing behind you, do you ? Captain (eyes her uncertainly^gruffly) . Er — er— . no — I suppose not. Patty. Better go round the room, and collect': whatever belongs to you. Captain. Eh ? Oh, yes, yes, I see. (Crosses R.' searches on sideboard.) .v. Patty. There are some books of yours. (Points up L.) C AFT An: (meekly). But your mother's reading one. I don't want to take an^^thing that might be of use to you. Patty (picks up pipes from sideboard r.). Well.. these pipes won't, anyway. Captain (hastily). Oh no, of course not. I'll take the pipes. Patty (picks up telescope r.). And this telescope. (Puts it on table.) . .. - Captain. Thank you. Patty (goes round to mantelpiece). And some of , these photographs are yours, I think. Captain (meekly). Yes. 12 PATTY PACKS A BAG- Patty. Here's one of mother. {Takes photo off mantelpiece.) Youll want to keep that, won't you ? Captain. Yes. Patty. And one of father. (Takes photo) Of course youll want that. Captain. Ay ! Patty. But here's one of me. (Takes third photq.) You won't want that. Captain (^disconcerted). Won't I ? Why not ? ■ Patty (throws photo into fireplace). We're not friends. Captain (down r. of table, shyly) . We — we — we used to be. P^TTY (turns upon him sharply). But we're not now. [Raps table.) Mother said so. CAPTAIN (abashed). Oh— oh, oh well, if she said so, I suppose it must be right. (Eyes her, follows her round l., coughs.) At the same time— — • Patty (whirls round quickly, puts tobacco-jar in his hands). Tobacco- jar. Captain (meekly). Thanks. At the same time, as I was saying, if only you were always as nice as you are to-night Patty (whirls round, puts pouch in his hand). Tobacco pouch. Cai*tain (meekly). Thank you. As I was about to remark P^TTY {whirls round, puts compass in his hands). Compass. Captain. Easy there ! (Coughs loudly.) I was just on the point of observing, Miss Patty P^TTY (whirls round — in solemn tones). Where 3ure your sea-boots ? Captain [shouts). Damn my sea-boots ! Patty (affects to be terribly shocked, staggers down stage, holds on to table, with her hand to her heart). Qhf Captain (looking deeply ashamed). There, there, I'm sorry. I apologise. But really, of all the PATTY PACKS A BAG. 13 aggravating young women {Comes down R. ' of table. Patty. Well, well, it's only young women who are aggravating, you know. You'll be safe with Miss Pilcher. Captain (starts back r.) Who told you? ' ' Patty [looks at him). Qh, I guessed. Mother told me you were going to be married, so I just thought and thought till I hit upon the most suitable pfetson. Captain (growling). Most stiitable ? Why, I'm not eighty ! ; - Patty (sweetly). No. Nor is she. ' '^• Captain. She's forty, if she's a day. ' Patty (sweetly). And you are — forty- two, I think ? (Captain turns up with a growl.) (Sweetly.) May we congratulate you ? ■ • Captain (gruffly, up stage r., only half turning Ms head). Oh — oh, I suppose so. Patty {mischievously demure, leans against table down L.). You'll send us some cake, won't you ? - Captain. Oh, I don't hold with cake. Patty. You'll ask us to the wedding-breakfast ? Captain (uneasily). I don't 'hold with w'^edding- breakfasts. ' > Patty. Well, at least yorf ir let us come ft) 'the at home ? (Picks up things to pack.) ' "• ' Captain (ferociously). And I don't hold witli at- homes ! ■' ^■ Patty (r., leans across table towards him, dekper- ately). What do you hold with^ Captain Finch? Captain (leans across table l,). I hold with young ladies that mind their own business. " ' Patty. And that leave otlier people to do their own packing ! (Drops the things she was holding 'and runs across R.) ' . Captain (embarrassed and ' desperate, turns' • and 14 I PATTY PACKS A BAG. catches Vatty down R.); Miss Patty, don't run away. I__j^_X apologise. I — I^ Won't you sit down ? We can talk more comfortably if we sit down. [He leads her across to chair l. by fireplace and sits himself on table.) When you say anything to make me reg'Iat ^ild, I all the time feel — {sentimentally) feel (Moves his head uneasily,' puts his finger inside: hi§^' collar.) . : : • Fatty I {innoc&ntly). As if yon had a pin in your collar ? , CiVPTAiN (testily). No, no, not at all. (Senti- mentally.) I feel (Rubs his chin violently.) Patty, /know. As if you'd forgotten to shave ? Ckftay^ (bounces up). No I (Goes up.) (Patty sits upright and demure, staring innocently ; ; he comes down, stands L.c. before her.) You're aggravating me on purpose. You think nie a silly old fool, and you're just doing your best to rub me up and make me ridiculous. We41, you shan't. I 7Jc)on't be aggravated. I say 1 TL'ont ! (Snaps his fingers.) Patty (i^inocently) . What beautiful weather we've had to-day, Captain Finch ! CAf>TAiN (furious). There yon go again ! (Pulls himself up.) No, you shan't aggrp^/ate me, I say you shan't ! Patty {very meek). May I go away and help mother. Captain Finch ? Captain (hastily). Oh, you may go to the d — — Patty (rising). The drav/ing-room.. Yes, of course. Captain (turns, comes down). Sit dovvn. (She sits. Pause.) Now, why do you do it ? . . . Patty (opens her eyes wide). Why do I sit dov/n ?, Because yon told me to. - . PATTY PACKS A BAG: 15 ^ Captain {sits down r. and fans himself with his pocket-handkerchief) Talk of the Tropics ! Give ' me a girl for making it warm for one ! (Patty ns^5, picks her portrait :out of fireplace.) ' '/•■'n. 5^fnij What's that you've got there ?■"'■' Patty. Only my photograph, Captain Finch. Captain. But it's not yours now, it's mine. Patty. May I have it, please ? Captain. What for ? Patty. I want to give it to some one — some one who's asked for it. Captain. Some young jackanapes, I suppose, about half my age ? Patty. Yes, about that. Captain. To think that a daughter of my old friend. Jack Landon, should throw herself away on a boy just out of the nursery. Patty {^innocently) . Why should you mind ? / don't mind about Miss Pilcher. Captain. Confound Miss Pilcher ! Patty. You wouldn't like me to tell her that. Captain [roars). I don't care what you. tell her ! (Sweeps some things off table, stuffs them into hag on floor ; some of them are her grocery parcels.) Patty. Oh, let me help ! Captain. I don't require your assistance, thank you. I can pack quite well by myself. [Treads down clean shirts into hag with his foot.) Patty. Oh, mind the collars ! (Snatches them up, screwed up and spoilt.) Look what you've done to them ! Captain. That's the way I like 'em ! [Snatches at them.) Patty (keeps them out of his way). No. I'll lake care of them till you are cooler. Captain. Cockr ! I u:-vor shaU b^ c^ol^r. I'm as 16 PATTY PACKS A BAG. Patty. Well, I can't see good things spoilt. (Gathers up ties, handkerchiefs, etc., off table. She is L. of fable.) Captain. Give me those things, do you hear ? {He stands r., of table.^ pulls one end of tie in her hand She holds on to the other end. Each holds on firmly.) Patty. , No, I won't! Captain. Give them up, I say— or I'll make you. Patty. Just you try. Captain. I won't be stood up to by a bit of a girl,! Patty. It'll be all you can do to stand up to her. Captain. Will you let go ? Patty. No ! Captain. Here goes then. I must make you. (Twists end of tie round his hand and piills. Half comes away in his hand. He looks at it ruefully.) Patty (la'iighs at him). You're only destroying your own property. Captain (gruffly). Well, what do you want with my things ? Patty. I only want to pack them for you. Captain (flings aiemy the torn tie). Well, pack and be Patty (holds up her finger) . Oh, naughty, naughty! Captain. I wasn't going to , say that ! Patty. To say what ? Captain. Well — er — what you thought. Patty (comes down and kneels behind bag, taking everything out) . Yes, you were. /know. My father was a ship's captain too ! Captain. No wonder he's dead 1 Patty '(whimpering). It's very unkind of you to say that. Captain (comes down, hovers over her, repentant). There! I didn't mean it. But you do badger me so, I don't know what I'm saying. PATTY PACKS A BAG. 17 Patty {soo'hi;:^). Well, I won't badger you' any more. (Packing carefully.) We'll put the books and heavy things in first. So ! And you don't want my coffee and candles, nor m}' packet of hair-pins. (Laughs and puts small parcels out of bag on table behind her.) Now I want a newspaper for the slippers, please. (Captain Finch takes newspaper from sideboard and hands it to her.) . ■. < Thanks. (She packs slippers.) Oh, surely you don't want this rubbish ! (Picks up papers.) Captain. What rubbish ? Patty. Why, the portraits I drew of you on the leaves of my copybook years ago, when I was a little girl! Captain (testily). Yes, I want to keep them. (Reproachfully.) You were a very nice little girl. Patty. Well, you don't want to keep those dreadful cuffs that I knitted for you last winter. Captain (snatches them from her). Yes, I do. You leave them alone. Patty. But I wasn't a little girl then ! ^^' Captain. You were a nice girl, though. '• Patty (laughs softly). Not like I am now'! Captain (promptly). Not a bit like you are now 1 Patty (hurt). Thank you. (Goes on packing vigorously.) Captain. Well, well, you asked for it. Patty (suddenly sits back). Captain Finch, we've forgotten your songs. Will you go up to the draw- ing-room and fetch them ? ; ■ Captain (gloomily). What's the good ? I can't' sing 'em ! Patty. Why, yes you can. You used to ' sing beautifully when I played your accompaniments. Captain (regretfully). Ay, I could then. You 38^ PATTY PACKS A feAGl. had such a wonderful way of bringing me back to the ioon when I missed him. \ {Sits on edge of table, swinging his leg.) Patty. Well, any accompanist could do that! ^ Captain (shakes his head) . Vm. not so sure. I could trust myself with you, but' with a raw hand at the tiller, I'm apt to turn " Yipiyady " into " Yankee Doodle." . - i ' ' Patty (demurely) . Perhaps Miss Pilcher can play. Captain (his face' falls). Ay, perhaps. But she don't look the right sort of craft. Patty. Well, will you take the songs ? (Sits hack.) Captain. No. They'd put me too much in mind of things I've — done with. Patty (softly, looking up). What things ? Captain (pause — then hastily). Just you go on packing. Patty (packs, fastens up one side of bag). There ! One side's done. (Unties sale ticket.) You won't want this, will you ? Captain (laughs). No. You can throw that away. (Tries to take it.) Patty (puts ticket in her pocket). I'll keep it. Captain. What's the good of an old sale ticket ? Patty. Oh, it will remind me of — of— (hesitates, then quickly) — of packing (goes on packing furi- ously). Captain (diffidently). I say, , Patty. You always used to let me call you just Patty, didn't you ? Patty. Oh, yes. Captain. Why have you taken a dislike to me lately ? Patty. I haven't. Captain. But you've changed. " ' . Patty. I've grown up, that's all. Captain. What does it feel like td grow up Patty? - Patty. You ought to know — you've done it yourself. '•• v PATTY PACKvS A BAG. 19 Captain. Yes, but that was such a confounded long time ago. Tell me why you've changed so ? Patty (shyly and with hesitation). Well, when you come to be twenty and to have your hair up, you be- gin to ask yourself whether you haven't been rather presuming, and whether the. iriends who have liked you — for your father's: sake^-and your mother's^ — mustn't be rather bored with you for your own. And so, feeling like that, an '.^. with some other feelings that I can't exactl}'; explain, 3^ou-draw back a little, you know, and — and — rc?Jly, I can't tell you any more than that. (Plunges into packing.) Captain (kneels dowyi on floor, helping aimlessly to pack, ptitting one small thing first in one corner and then in another of the 'bag). But won't you try to tell m.e exactly what those other feelings are, Patty ? Patty. I can't — realty I can't ! I don't under- stand them myself. (Packs.) Captain (shyly). I must tell you, I've had some odd feelings too, lately. Patty [trimnphantly) . ■ There, it's done ! (Shuts bag.) But it's a tight fit. How am I to make it shut? Captain. Sit on it. Fatty (t'urns over bag and sits on it). It won't meet even now. Captain. Let me help. (Sits beside her on bag.) Patty. Do jou think this will do any good ? Captain. I expect it vfill, gradually. Patty. But w^e can't sit here all night. Captain. / shouldn't mind. Patty. It won't do any good to the starched shirt- fronts. Captain. Never mind the shirt-fronts. Patty. Oh, / don't mind, but yo^* will, when you warit, to look very nice and smart wdth Miss Pilcher. Captain. Oh. hang Miss Pilcher. Patty. You can't hang her. You've got to marry her. 20 PATTY PACKS A MG. Captain. Who saj^s so? Patty. You did. You told mother so. Captain. No, I didn't. Patty. You didn't? Captain. No. I said I was going to live in her house. ,, , ; ,. , , Patty (demurely), ph. 1 [Tries to rise.) Captain (holds Patty down). Wait a moment. Let us have a ta.lk aj^out t^Qse feelings ydii couldn't understand. Patty. Oh, not now. Captain. Well, let me tell you about mine. I've had some strange new feelings too. Can you guess what they are ? Patty. Gout, perhaps ? Captain. Well, supposing my feelings were just gout, then what were yours ? Patty (demurely). Gout, too, perhaps. Captain. You are too young. Patty. I'm not so very young. I'm twenty. Captain. You're very young compared to me.'^; Patty. But you're not old. ^^ Captain. No. Not too old for— Miss Pilcher. Patty. Not too old for anybody. Captain (delighted, comes diffidently nearer). What — do you mean ? (His tone changes.) No, of course you're only trying to aggravate me again. But I won't be had this time. I won't— I won't ! (Rises and stamps about.) '^' "^ Patty (sitting on bag, begins to cry). You're — you're very unkind! • 'W\ Captain. I know your little game ! / know what you're going to tell the young fool that you're giving your photograph to ! Patty (passionately). There isn't any young fool ! Captain. Yes, there is, I know. You're going to make him laugh at the old fool that's in love with you. Patty (emphatically). I tell you there isn't any young fool ! . ^ _• "pATfY PACKS A BAG. ^1 P Captain (quietly).^ Well there's an old fool, isn't there ? Patty (turns away shyly). No. Captain (taking heart a little, but diffident). There isn't an old fool ? Fatty (still turni'ng away). You're wo/ old. Captain (coming timidly nearer)'. But I'm a fool aren't I ? Patty. T don't know. (Still turning away down Captain (sits on edge of table, gradually edging, him- self nearer as he talks). Well, I should be a fool, shouldn't I, if I were to think that a young girl, just tw^enty, could ever care for a battered old craft like me ? Patty (turns, without looking up). Why shouldn't a girl care for you, Captain Finch ? Captain. Because — because (Suddenly shy.) Oh, of course you're only aggravating me ! (Goes up L.) " • (Patty sits down l., sobs.) (Turns quickly, speaks very sternly,) Here, stow that. I say ! Stow that ! (Comes down, tries to pull away her handkerchief — -in consternation.) It's wet ! Patty. 'Course [it's wet ! (Whimpering.) Did you think tears were dry goods ? Captain (embarrassed). I — I — I didn't think girls ever really cried, unless they were hurt. Patty. Well, you hurt me. Captain. I! Oh, no, no, what have I said? What have I done ? Patty (sobbing). You — you — you — s-s-said you were an old f-f-f Captain. Fool ! So I am. Patty. To c-c-c-care for me ! Captain. So I did. 22 PATTY PACKS A BAG. Patty (resentfully). Why should it be foohsh to like me ? Captain. Because you can't like me back. Patty [shyly). And — why can't I ? Captain (leaning over table). Patty, my girl, if this is only aggravation, you ought to be strangled. Patty (so 6&mg'). But — it — it — it isn't. Captain [comes to her chair, leans over it). Patty, do you think any happiness can come of a May and December marriage ? Patty [promptly). 'No. Captain [taken aback).' You don't? ::^Patty. I don't. But [shyly) 1 think happiness might come of May and — [Looks up.) August ! (Takes his hand.) Early August ! Captain. Patty, my dear {takes her. hand and presses it), you*re laying it on thick, but [kisses her) that's how I like it! ■3- - (Bell rings and knock heard.) {Nervously.) Who's that ? Patty [jumps up, looks out of window at hack, comes down). It's Miss Pilcher ! . Captain (alarmed). By Jove ! ----- = '-■■ [Eause.of consterndtion.) (Suddenly seizes Patty.) Who's afraid ? i Patty.- You're sure you didn't really ask her to marry you ? ■■■' Captain:' -Quite-sure. I only wanted you to-think I had. I sort of hove to, waiting for a wind. ^ : ■ - Patty. It wasn't fair. , \: Captain. By Jove, Patty [hu^s her), now I',m safe ii^ port; I donitiGare ho\v I got there. , , v , ■ ; . - Patty [extrieatmg herself) . ' Hush ! Here's mother ! PATTY PACKS A BAG. 23 {Enter Mrs. Landon mysteriously. ) Captain. Well, how's the log ? Mrs. Landon. Why, Miss Pilcher's here, come to see about your moving in. Of course, I congratu- lated her upon her approaching marriage Patty and [together, in dismay).- Oh! ; Captain. (Patty sinks into chair r., Captain into chair l.) Mrs. L. But she didn't seem to know anything about it. (Patty and Captain turn away laughing.) -- (c.) What's all this ? (Looks from one to the other.) What have you been doing, Patty ? Patty (sits up demurely). Oh, I've been helping Captain Finch to pack his bag. Mrs. L. (bewildered, to Captain Finch) . What shalj I say to Miss Pilcher, Captain ? Will you see her ? Captain. No, thank you. Mrs. L. Shall I say you're not at home ? Captain. No, ma'am. Tell her I am at home, and mean to remain there. Mrs. L. (starts, looks at them). But I understood you had paid her a deposit. Captain. She's welcome to keep it. Mrs. L. (mystified, to Captain Finch) . And what are you going to do ? Captain (comes down u of Mrs. Landon). Ask Patty. . . Mrs. L. Patty, I don't understand. What are you going to do ? Patty (comes down r. of Mrs. Landon, coaxing) ^ I'm going to help Captain Finch to — -w^A^pack his bag ! 24 PATTY PACKS A BAG (Patty lifts bag to table. Captain Finch futs Ms arm round her, Mrs. Landon starts back, smthng, as curtain falls.) Curtain. One copy del. to Cat. Div. ^^PR 13 nf Uiu> ficpi. iij &ne large size, tbe bacK aceue ii lii feet long aud y teei faign nuu oa tends with the Wings and Borders to 20 feet long and llj feet high. In the centre is a French ^ndow, leading down to the ground. On the left wing is a fireplace with mirror above, and on the right wing is an oil painting. The whole scene is tastefully ornamented and beautifully coloured, forming a most elegant picture. The above is a representation of a box scene consisting of 38 sheets of paper, the extra sheets being used for the doors each side. £ s. d. Back Scene, Border, and 1 Set of Wings, unmounted ^. ..200 Ditto, mounted 4 4 Back Scene, Border, with 2 Sets of Wings as above to form Box Scene, unmounted .. 2 10 Ditto, mounted „ ^ 5 6 COTTAGER : s IS Aiso Rept in the large size only. In the centre is a door I ^ui-v ■ ^n.t Oa the left centre is a rustic fireplace, and the right centre is a window Oo th* '""'- s are painted shelves, Ac, to complete the scene. The above is a repre-en n of this scene with 1 set of Winga only (not a Box Scene), but a Box Seen* ^e made by purchasing the extra set of Wings. Prices and size same a? ing Room Scene above APR 13 191 f FRENCH'S ACTING EDITION-Ts. per Vol., mostly 6d. eaeh 22S7 f288 2239 224U 2241 2242 2218 2244 2245 2246 2247 2248 2t49 2260 ^261 2252 2«53 ] 2'254 i 22.6 A 22R6 * ,2257 /2258 / 2269 "^ 2200 2261 2262 2263 2264 2265 226'i 2267 »26S 2269 E270 VOLUME 160 The Dentist Taken for Granted Just as Well Hogmany Pansy A Doctor's Engage- ments A Duet My Millirer's Bill, Is. My Aunt from Cali- fornia His Life for Hers The Meeting The Umbre;la Duologue The Late Lamented Woman Triumphant Angelina's Lover VOLUME 15] Chrysanthemuma My First Client Punctured 01.1 Pals Honeymoon Tragedy Commission Hal, the Highwayman Dinner for Two Ninth Waltz Human Sport Collabomtors M«re Man tracking Up Pajing Guest 'Enery Brown VOLUME 152 The Jilt 'Op-o'-Me-Thumh A Marriage Has Been AiTanged Carrots Conversion of Nat Sturge 2271 Clerical Error 2272 Aubrey Closes the Door 2273 Workbox 2274 Two on a 'Biu 2275 Bridget's Blunders 2276 That Brute Simmon* 2277 Well Matched 2278 Maker of Men 2279 Gutter of Time 2280 Game of Chess VOLUME 153 2281 Mr. Steinmann'« Comer 2282 Ella's Apology 2283 Colour Sergeant 2284 Helpless Couple 2285 First Aid to the Wounded 2286 Correct Thing 2287 Their New Paying Guest 2288 Domestic Entangle- ment 2289 Salt of Life 2290 Time is Money 2291 Wally and the Widow 2292 Deceitful Miss Smiths 2293 Holly Tree Inn 2294 Up-to-date 2295 Bit of Old Chelsea VOLUME 154 2296 Wrong Side of the Road 2297 The Open Door 2298 Prima Donna (Pem- berton) 2299 Liglits Out(Pemherton) 2300 Mirror of Time 2301 Three Blind Mice (Muskerry) 2302 Privy Council 2303 Snowed up with a Duchess 2304 Acacia Cottage 2305 Pabricato 2306 Compromising Martlw 2307 Rest Cure 2308 Misses Primrose's De- caption 2309 Ejection of Aunt Lucinda 2310 Uncle Dick's Darling VOLUME 155 2311 That Horrid Major 2312 Bardwell v. Pickwick 2313 House of Nightingales 2314 Turtle Dovee [der 2315 Superior Miss Pellen- 2316 His Good Genius 2317 Martha Plays the Fairy 2318 Dumb Cake 2319 Proposing by Proxy 2320 Pliconix 232 i Boatswain's Mate 2322 Final Rehearsal 2323 Two Aunts at a Time 2324 Nelson Touch 2325 Convict on the Hearth VOLUME 156 2326 Grey Parrot 2327 Ghost of Jerry Bundler 2328 Bishop's Candlesticks 2329 Peacemaker 2330 Changeling 2331 Wire Entanglement 2332 Pride of Regin;ient 2335 "1588" 2334 Man on the Kerb 233"^ O'Dowd 2336 Impertinence of the Creature 2337 Dramatist at Hon>e 2338 Martha the Soothsayer 2339 Old Martha Is. 2340 All Through Martha la. AN AMERICAN CITIZEN BILLYS LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR BRACE OF PARTRIDGES BRIXTON BURGLAKY CAPTAIN SniFT CASSILiS ENGAGEMENT CHARITY THAT BEGAN AT HOME COUNTRY MOUSE DR. WAKE'S PATIENT FACING THE MUSIC FASCINATING MR. VAN- DERVELDT IDLER. IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST IN CHANCERY JEDBURY JUNIOR BARRIER BUILDER OF BRIDGES CAVE OP ILLUSION DANCING GIRL HYPOCRITES JOSEPH HNTANGLBD Is. 6 d, ret Edition LADY HUNTWORTH'S EXPERIMENT LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN LIBERTY HALL LUCKY MISS DEAN MARRIAGE OF KITTY MICE AND MEN MI^S ELIZABETH'S PRISONER MISS HOBBS MOLLENTJIAVE ON WOMEN MR. HOPKINSON NEW BOY NIOBE I OH! SUSANNAH 1 ONE SUMMER'S DAY I PARVENU 2s. 6d. net Library JOHN GLAYDE'S HONOl MANOEUVRES OF Ji MASQUKRADERS MIDDLEMAN PASSPORT PERFECT LOVER PETER'S MOTHER PILKERTON'S PEERAGE PRIVATE SECRETARY RETURN OF THE PRO- DIGAL ROCKET [DOM SNUG IITTLE KING- SQUIRE SUNLIGHT & SHADOW TWO MR. WETHERBYS A-^ ALKER. LONDON WHEN WE WERE. TW.ENTY.ONE WILDERNESS WISDOM OF FOLLl WOODBARROW FARM 017 199 331 3 ^