That Little Rogue 
 Next Door 
 
 e^ 
 
 DICK & HTZGERALD, Publishers, 
 NEW YORK. 
 
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THAT LITTLE ROGUE 
 NEXT DOOR 
 
 B jfarce 
 
 Arranged for the American Stage 
 
 By HAROLD SANDER 
 
 Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald 
 
 V 
 
 NEW Y(3|RK 
 DICK & FITZGERALD 
 
 18 Ann Street 
 
 MAY 19 1916 
 

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 JMP9b-0Q6b30 
 
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 ©G1.0 4G948 
 19 1916 
 
THAT LITTLE ROGUE 
 NEXT DOOR. 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Basil Raymond A medical student 
 
 Jeremiah Juffkins A butcher 
 
 Miss Patricia Howard An old spinster 
 
 Marjorie Graham Her great-niece 
 
 Prudence Swift A housemaid 
 
 Time. — The present. Locality. — A suburban town. 
 
 Time of Playing.— F^^rfy minutes, 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Miss Howard, a kind hearted but peppery old maid, very 
 fond of her fruit, is much worried for fear her fruit trees will 
 be robbed by " That Little Rogue Next Door," of whom she 
 has heard, but has never seen. A young medical student, who 
 has been of assistance to her, is in love with her niece, and de- 
 sires excuses for his visit, offers to protect the garden from the 
 depredation of this " Little Rogue." Through the quarreling of 
 the butcher and the maid it is discovered that the student and the 
 " Little Rogue " are one and the same. 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 
 Costumes of to-day, and appropriate to characters por- 
 trayed. 
 
 3 
 
4 That Little Rogue Next Door. 
 
 INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. 
 
 Large umbrella, garden gloves, apron and pail for Miss 
 Howard. Visiting card for Mr. Raymond. Dust cloth and tea 
 tray for Prudence. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience, R., 
 means right-hand; l., left-hand; c, center of stage, d. r., door 
 at right; d. l., door at left; d. c, door at center. Up means 
 toward back of stage; down, towards footlights. 
 
THAT LITTLE ROGUE 
 NEXT DOOR. 
 
 SCENE. — Miss Howard's drawing-room. Doors at c, r. and 
 L. Screen up r. Sofa, chairs, tables, decorations, etc., as 
 may be available, DISCOVERED Prudence, dusting. 
 
 Miss Howard (off stage). Prudence! Prudence! 
 
 ENTER d. l. Miss Howard, dressed for walking, and carrying 
 large green umbrella. 
 
 Miss Howard. I am bringing you the green umbrella, Pru- 
 dence, and if that little rogue next door comes stealing the 
 fruit, mind you let him feel the weight of it. 
 
 Prudence. Yes, mum. 
 
 Miss H. Mind you hit him hard, Prudence. 
 
 Pru. I'll hit him hard, mum. 
 
 Miss H. Very hard, Prudence. 
 
 Pru. Very hard, mum. 
 
 Miss H. And keep those wretched fowls out of the garden. 
 
 [EXIT d. c. 
 
 Pru. What a worrit the missus is. Eh, bless my life, she is 
 a fidget. If it's not one thing it's t'other. She's always pitching 
 into somebody. But it is the new people who have come next 
 door that are upsetting her the most just now. We've seen 
 nothing of 'em yet. But Jeremiah was fool enough to tell her 
 that they have a boy — a nephew, I think it is — living with 'em, 
 and she's been a-fussing and a-fuming ever since about the fruit 
 in the garden, and saying that he will be always coming a-stealing 
 it. She goes poking the old umbrella all over the place, and 
 her mouth just watering for a chance to lay it about the poor 
 lad's shoulders. 
 
 5 
 
6 That Little Rogue Next Door. 
 
 Jeremiah (o^ stage, singing). 
 
 " I will return safe back again, 
 To the- girl I left behind me." 
 
 Pru. (smiling and listening). That's Jerry; he's a-looking 
 for me in the kitchen, I know. I'll bet he's seen missus go out. 
 (Goes to D. R. and calls off) Jerry, I'm a-dusting the drawing- 
 room, an' I can't come and speak to you. 
 
 Jer. (heard speaking off). Just a moment, Prudence. 
 
 Pru. (at d. r.). Well, put your basket on the dresser, rub 
 your feet well on the mat, shut the kitchen door, and then 
 you can come here a minute. 
 
 ENTER D. R. Jeremiah. 
 
 Jer. Well, Prue, me chicken, I saw the old lady trotting up 
 the street, and so I thought I would come in for five minutes. 
 It's as sweet as a rose you are looking, me dear. 
 
 Pru. You've been reading romance, Jeremiah. 
 
 Jer. Nay, I haven't; I've been weighing sausages. That's 
 more in my line. Has the old lady gone far? I always feel 
 a little bit on tenter-hooks when she is anywhere about. As I 
 
 was saying to Nelly Brown yesterday, I ^ (Stops suddenly 
 
 with hand over mouth) 
 
 Pru. Nellie Brown, eh? And what were you saying to Nellie 
 Brown, may I ask? 
 
 Jer. Oh, I was only telling her what a sharp-tongued piece 
 the old lady is, and how I was often bothered to think that she 
 might be saying something to you that you wouldn't like 
 
 Pru. Dear old Jerry-boy. 
 
 Jer. And as you were a bit peppery yourself, it would not 
 take you long to be giving her a month's notice, and then, ten 
 to one, you would be on for making yourself Mrs. Jeremiah 
 Juffkins before I was quite ready. 
 
 Pru. Oh, you did, did you? You told Nellie Brown that, 
 did you? Well, the next time you see her you can tell her what 
 a simpleton you are. You can tell her that I'm not goin* to be 
 Mrs. Jeremiah Juffkins; but that it is Mrs. Al-ex-an-der Tom- 
 kins that I'm going to be. 
 
 Jer. What do you say! What do you say! Do you mean 
 that you are going to throw me over for that long-haired jacka- 
 
That Little Rogue Next Door. 7 
 
 napes with his neck choked up with collar, and nothing in his 
 pocket? The good-for-nothing 
 
 Pru. Mr. Juffkins, you can go back to your sausages, I prefer 
 to be alone. 
 
 Miss H. (without). Prudence! Prudence! 
 
 [EXIT D. R. Jeremiah, hastily, 
 
 ENTER D. c. Miss Howard, leaning on the arm of Mr. Basil 
 Raymond. 
 
 Miss H. Prudence get me the smelling-salts. Give me a 
 clean handkerchief. Open the window. Shut the door. Find 
 my fan. I am trembling all over. I am going to faint. 
 
 Pru. Whatever is the matter, mum? 
 
 Miss H. The matter? My best silk sunshade is ruined, abso- 
 lutely ruined. Fan me. Prudence, I am going to faint. 
 
 Raymond. Your mistress has had a slight fall, but I do not 
 think she is much hurt. 
 
 Miss H. (sharply). My best silk sunshade is ruined, sir. 
 
 Ray. Awful shame, I'm sure. 
 
 Pru. Whatever has happened, mum? 
 
 Miss H. Happened? I can soon tell you v/hat has happened. 
 I tripped over a stone in the street and fell to the ground right 
 on top of my best silk sunshade, and if this gentleman had not 
 come to my assistance I should probably be lying there still. 
 (Looks towards zvindow) Bless my life, that Brahma hen is 
 at those currents again. Run, Prudence, and drive her out of 
 the garden. (EXIT d. c. Prudence) Dear! dear! what witH 
 the hens and that little rogue next door, there will not be fruit 
 enough left to make a pot of jam. 
 
 Ray. (puzzled). The little rogue next door? 
 
 Miss H. Yes, I hear that new people came last week, and 
 fine fools of folks they must be. Because they have no boys of 
 their own, they must hamper themselves with a graceless 
 nephew. / know what boys are. He will be stealing the fruit 
 and throwing stones at the cat from morning till night. 
 
 Ray. Very aggravating for you, I'm sure. 
 
 Miss H. But the green umbrella will soon Bless my 
 
 life if there is not another hen at those currents again. Shoo! 
 Shoo! Shoo! (Rushes from room d. c, shaking skirts vio- 
 lently) 
 
 Ray. (laughs). Really, the old lady is an awful joke. It was 
 simply too killing what she said about the people next door. 
 
8 That Little Rogue ^ext Door. 
 
 She thinks that the nephew and heir of Constantine Nicholls, 
 Esquire, is a little glutton in knickerbockers who goes about 
 stealing fruit and stoning cats. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Prudence. 
 
 Pru. (looking round). Where's missus? 
 
 Ray. Your mistress followed you almost immediately. I am 
 glad she was so far recovered. 
 
 Pru. Oh, yes, missus always comes round quick if there's 
 hens about or boys after her fruit. 
 
 Ray. May I ask the lady's name? 
 
 Pru. Miss Patricia Howard, sir. 
 
 Ray. Miss Patricia Howard! Has she a relative named Miss 
 Marjorie Graham? 
 
 Pru. Yes, sir, a niece. Miss Marjorie is staying here at pres- 
 ent. Excuse me, there's missus calling again. 
 
 [EXIT D. r. Prudence. 
 
 Ray. So the sharp-tongued ancient who is capering about 
 the garden after hens is aunt to pretty Marjorie, of whom I 
 am in search ! Well, I gained " auntie's " favor by picking her 
 up out of the mud, now how to keep it? Oh, I have it! Why 
 shouldn't there be " a little rogue next door " for the present, and 
 why shouldn't I be the guardian of " auntie's " fruit, and perhaps, 
 incidentally, of Marjorie? My aunt and uncle, who are coming to 
 live next door, are not due for a few days; there are only the 
 servants there yet, and my chum, Dr. Norton, with whom I am 
 staying, won't give me away. It will be an easy matter to keep up 
 the delusion of that wicked little boy, and while the old lady be- 
 lieves in his existence, I know there will be a welcome for me 
 here at any hour of the day. You are a lucky boy, Basil. In 
 order to keep that thievish little boy at bay I shall have to spend 
 a great deal of time in this jolly old garden. Here comes the 
 dear " auntie." I must be diplomatic. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Miss Howard. ^ 
 
 Ray. Allow me to give you my card. I am spending a few 
 <iays with my friend. Dr. Norton, and so we shall be quite near 
 neighbors. I have been thinking what a shame it would be if 
 your fruit was stolen by that next-door boy. And the little thief 
 would be sure to be after it. No boy could resist such very fine 
 fruit. 
 
That Little Rogue Next Door. 9 
 
 Miss H. I have the green umbrella in readiness. 
 
 Ray. But a green umbrella is not like a man. I shall have 
 a lot of time on my hands whilst the doctor is out on his rounds, 
 and if it will set your mind at rest, I will watch the garden for 
 you. 
 
 Miss H. You are very kind, sir. Very kind indeed. Come 
 and see my currants, sir. [EXIT d. c. Miss Howard followed 
 by Raymond, who smiles behind her back. 
 
 ENTER D. R. Prudence, 
 
 Pru. I have heard of cruel, heartless, faithless monsters in 
 human form, but never have I heard of one to equal Jeremiah 
 Juffkins. Only to think of him telling that red-haired Nellie 
 'Brown that I was peppery tempered. I'll peppery temper him 
 when he comes with the meat to-morrow morning, and then 
 he can go and tell Nellie Brown that. Wait until he sees me 
 in my new costume walking out with Alexander Tomkins. Then 
 perhaps he will be sorry for his goings on. That Nellie Brown 
 never does look decent whatever she has on, and I am sure she 
 walks like a duck. But here comes the missus, bother her. 
 
 [EXIT D. R. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Miss Howard. 
 
 Miss H. What a very sensible young man. So kind of him 
 to offer to look after the fruit for me. He says he is very inter- 
 ested in fruit culture. He is the only young man I have met 
 lately who showed any interest in currants, unless they were in 
 a tart, and then there was generally something wrong with the 
 cooking. But this Mr. Raymond seems a very sensible young 
 man. He is calling again shortly, so he said. [EXIT d. l. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Marjorie. 
 
 Mar. I wonder why that Mr. Raymond has been here. I 
 really believe he is the most persistent man I ever met. I am 
 sure it was he I saw passing out through the gate just now. He 
 was at the Smith's garden party the other day, and I do not 
 think he ceased staring at me for five minutes during the whole 
 afternoon. I believe he told me his people have just taken a 
 
10 That Little Eogufe Nest Door. 
 
 house somewhere in this neighbourhood, but I do not suppose 
 I shall see much of him here. He is not the species that auntie 
 is likely to encourage. Oh, I do want my tea. I have the appe- 
 tite of a vagabond. 
 
 ENTER D. L. Miss Howard, wearing large gardening gloves and 
 
 apron. 
 
 Mar. Are you going gardening, auntie? 
 
 Miss H. Yes, I am going to weed the flower border. 
 
 Mar. Then I will come and help you. 
 
 Miss H. Oh, no, you won't, miss. I have not forgotten the 
 last time you helped me. You pulled up every flower in the 
 border, and not a weed did you touch. 
 
 Mar. Then I will watch you, auntie. That will suit me bet- 
 ter. 
 
 Miss H. I daresay it will, Miss Idleness. Have you not 
 a bit of fancy-work you can have in your fingers? It would 
 be a more becoming occupation to my mind than twiddling your 
 thumbs for hours. 
 
 Mar. But I do not twiddle my thumbs, auntie dear. 
 
 Miss H. In my young days girls scorned to waste their time, 
 and the amount of fancy-work they did in the course of the 
 year would make you open your eyes, Miss. 
 
 Mar. What silly little things girls must have been in your 
 young days, auntie. 
 
 Miss H, Was it silly to make a cushion that fetched five 
 pounds at a bazaar? Because that was what Lydia Evans did. 
 
 Mar. Yes, but I have heard you say many a time that Lydia 
 Evans was a plain-looking girl with a crooked nose, and if one 
 is not ornamental one should try and be useful. 
 
 Miss H. Then am I to understand, Miss Pert, that you con- 
 'sider yourself ornamental? 
 
 Mar. Of course, auntie. I should never have thought so my- 
 self, but I heard you telling Mrs. Smith that I was the prettiest 
 girl in the neighborhood, and you are the truthfullest old lady 
 in the world. 
 
 Miss H. Marjorie Graham, do you mean to tell me that I 
 ever let such an untruth pass my lips? 
 
 Mar. I am sorry you were only fibbing, auntie. It is most 
 woefully disappointing. It has always been my ambition to be 
 pretty, like the girls in story-books, and I heard you telling 
 Miss Winter 
 
That Little Rogue Next Door. H 
 
 Miss H. Hold your tongue, Miss Saucebox. I have no time 
 to waste over impudent bits of chits of girls who think it man- 
 ners to talk nonsense to an old woman who knew the ways of 
 the world before they were born. I am not content to spend 
 my life twiddling my thumbs, if you are. [EXIT d. c. 
 
 Mar. She is a dear old thing, that aunt of mine. She has 
 the kindest heart in the world, although she always does her 
 best to hide it. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Prudence, followed by Basil Raymond. 
 
 Pru. Mr. Raymond, Miss Marjorie. [EXIT d. C. 
 
 Mar. How do you do, Mr. Raymond? Do you wish to see 
 my aunt? She is in the garden. I will tell her you are here. 
 
 Ray. Don't be cruel, Miss Graham, and run away and leave 
 me the moment I come. Where have you been hiding? I have 
 hot caught a glimpse of you since the day of the Smith's affair. 
 What a jolly time we had in spite of that fearful music and 
 those awful refreshments. 
 
 Mar. I think the music and refreshments were quite as good 
 as some of the society. 
 
 Ray. Oh, yes. (Pause) Some of the girls were awful guys. 
 
 Mar. I was not thinking of the girls. 
 
 Ray. Oh, no. (Pause) Some of the fellows were awful 
 asses. 
 
 Mar. I won't contradict you, Mr. Raymond. 
 
 Ray. Oh, no. (Pause) It was a droll affair altogether. It 
 is real sport, is it not, to see the way these country bumpkins 
 behave on these occasions? 
 
 Mar. Pray remember that I am a country bumpkin myself, or 
 whatever the feminine equivalent of the word may be. 
 
 Ray. Oh, I say, are you really? Well, I think the country 
 is awfully jolly, you know. Haymaking is such jolly work. 
 You wear those big hats and have tea under the trees. 
 
 Mar. Really, your knowledge of matters agricultural is 
 simply wonderful. Where does the work come in? 
 
 Ray. Oh, I suppose the hay has to be tossed about sometimes 
 with those fork things. But that is easy enough, you know. 
 
 Mar. It sounds very easy. I wish you would tell auntie 
 all about it. It would interest her, I'm sure. Here she comes. 
 
 Ray. I say, Miss Marjorie, do stop this cruel banter. You 
 must have seen what an ass you made of me at the Smiths, and 
 I have been longing ever since — oh, confound! 
 
i^ That Little Rogue* Next Door. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Miss Howard, carrying small pail 
 
 Miss H. Back again already, Mr. Raymond! You are very 
 kind. Be good enough to hold that for me. (Hands him pail, 
 zvhich he holds at arm's length) They are worms for the fowls. 
 I think I did not tell you, Marjorie, that Mr. Raymond has 
 kindly offered to watch the garden for me, and keep that little 
 rogue next door away from the fruit. 
 
 Mar. Oh, auntie, I am sure it is not necessary to trouble 
 Mr. Raymond to that extent. I do not suppose the boy will 
 come near the fruit. 
 
 Ray. But really, Miss Graham, I really saw a little boy be- 
 having in a very suspicious manner near the gate when I came 
 in just now. 
 
 Miss H. That's him! That's him! I knew he'd come. The 
 rogue! Where is the umbrella? Make haste, Mr. Raymond. 
 Come, Marjorie. Prudence! Prudence! (EXIT d. c. Miss 
 Howard, flourishing umbrella, followed by Raymond, still carry- 
 ing pail at arm's length. Marjorie lingers behind, laughing 
 heartily.) 
 
 Mar. Oh, what a comedy! What will that aunt of mine do 
 next? I am sure she is quite capable of laying that umbrella 
 about the first unfortunate individual she comes across. I hope 
 it will not end in her receiving a summons for assault. I will 
 go and see if I can pour oil on the troubled waters. [EXIT d. c. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Prudence, laughing. 
 
 Pru. I have never seen such a sight since I went to the pan- 
 tomime. The young gentleman has upset the pail with the 
 worms, and the missus is making him pick them up again. I 
 do not believe he dare touch them. He is trying to pick them 
 up with his handkerchief. Oh, it was a sight ! 
 
 Jer. {peeping through door, whispering). Prudence! Pru- 
 dence! I've been looking in the kitchen for you. They're all 
 in the garden. 
 
 Pru. {haughtily). Do you wish to see the missus, Mr. Juff- 
 kins? 
 
 Jer. No, " I don't wish to see the missus," thank you. {Mim- 
 icks her) I have come to have a bit of a talk with you. 
 
 Pru. Then you have had your trouble for nothing, Mr. Juff- 
 
That Little Rogue Next Door. 13 
 
 kins. I'm very busy this afternoon. We've got company. And 
 this is a place where suitors are not allowed. 
 
 Jer. a lot you've bothered about suitors not being allowed. 
 You have always given me a hearty welcome whenever I have 
 come. Did you mean what you said about Alexander Tomkins? 
 
 Pru. I generally do mean what I say, Mr. Juffkins. 
 
 Jer. He don't earn five dollars a week. 
 
 Pru. Well, he's got curly hair. 
 
 Jer. Oh, my stars ! Call his tow-coloured mop curly hair ! 
 
 Pru. You need not lower yourself by calling respectable peo- 
 ple names. You'd cut a sorry figure beside him, anyway, with 
 your dirty boots and your necktie all on one side. (Jeremiah 
 drops on a chair and begins to sob violently behind a large red 
 pocket handkerchief) 
 
 Jer. It's the last straw that breaks the camel's back — {Sob) 
 i— and a tender heart — {Sob) — can only bear so much. {Con- 
 tinues sobbing) 
 
 Pru. Stop that noise, Jeremiah, for mercy's sake, or the 
 missus will be hearing you. 
 
 Jer. Me heart's broken. Prudence. {Sobs) 
 
 Pru. Are you going to be quiet, Jeremiah? Here's missus! 
 
 Miss H. {oif stage). Prudence! Prudence! 
 
 Jer. {jumping tip hastily). There's that old woman coming 
 in through the back door. She's always interfering with me. 
 
 Pru. And I can hear Miss Marjorie and Mr. Raymond in the 
 hall. You must hide, Jeremiah, Get behind that screen, quick. 
 (Jeremiah hides behind screen) [EXIT Prudence d. r. 
 
 ENTER D. c. Raymond. 
 
 Ray. Oh, those horrible, slimy worms ! Shall I ever forget 
 trying to pick the wriggling little beasts up? Lucky for me the 
 chickies broke in and gobbled up the rest. I'm sure the fair 
 Marjorie nearly choked herself behind the currant bushes. Basil, 
 my boy, you deserve to succeed. But, really. Miss Marjorie is 
 awfully down on a fellow. I don't quite know whether I like it 
 or not ; I haven't been used to such treatment, and that's honest I 
 Still, she's worth it, and perhaps it's good for a fellow who's 
 been a trifle spoiled. I wonder what the old lady, the ancient 
 hen and boy chaser, would say if she knew that for my own 
 ends I am acting a deceiver's part. That it is something far 
 sweeter than her fruit the "rogue next door" is after? 
 
14 That Little Rogue i^Text Door. 
 
 ENTER D. R. Prudence with tea tray. 
 
 Ray, Ah, Marj', how fresh and pretty you look behind that 
 tray. Can I assist you? {Places table. Jeremiah peeps out 
 and shakes iist at Raymond's hack) 
 
 Pru. {looking anxiously at screen). My name, sir, is Pru- 
 dence ; not Mary, 
 
 Ray. And a capital name, too. You look prudent enough for 
 anything, I say, Prudence, have you a sweetheart? 
 
 Pru, No, sir— (Jeremiah looks out again and catches Pru- 
 dence's ^3;^)— that is— yes, sir! 
 
 Ray. Well, I'm sure he's a lucky man, and I wish you joy. 
 What trade is he, Prudence? 
 
 Pru, {smiling wickedly in direction of screen). A painter, sir. 
 {Aside) The ladies are here, sir, (Jeremiah makes as if to 
 rush out in a passion, but sees the ladies enter and conceals him- 
 self again) [EXIT d. r, 
 
 ENTER D. R. Miss Howard and d. c. Marjorie, 
 
 Miss H. Marjorie, dear, pour out the tea. I trust we have 
 not kept you waiting too long. 
 
 Ray. Not at all, madam, I assure you. 
 
 Miss H. I scarcely know how to thank you for your kind 
 solicitude on behalf of my fruit. 
 
 Mar. {looking over teapot) And the care of the worms, 
 auntie. 
 
 Ray. {laughing). Oh, Miss Marjorie, that's too bad! 
 
 Miss H. Don't mind her, she's too impertinent for anything. 
 Hand Mr. Raymond the cake. You are very remiss, child. Why, 
 what a color you have ! 
 
 Mar. It's the fresh air, auntie, or else the chase after " the 
 little rogue next door." 
 
 Ray. {hastily). Pray, don't let such disturbing thoughts spoil 
 your tea, Miss Howard, I beg. 
 
 Miss H. Do you know, I am quite puzzled. ^.---'^ 
 
 Mar. What about, auntie? 
 
 Miss H. The people next door! 
 
 Ray. Why should they puzzle you, madam? 
 
 Mar. I thought you knew all about them, auntie. 
 
 Miss H, Well, I was at the bottom gate in the garden just 
 now, when Mrs. Davis passed along the road. She stopped 
 when she saw me, and turned back to tell me the name of the 
 
That Little Rogue Uext Door. 15 
 
 people who are to be our next-door neighbors is Nicholl, and it 
 is only the servants who are there now. 
 
 Ray. (aside). Oh, thunder! 
 
 Mar. Well, auntie? 
 
 Miss H. The name is quite uncommon, and I wondered if 
 it was some dear friends of mine whom I have not met for 
 years. 
 
 Mar. Then where does " the little rogue " come in, auntie ? 
 
 Ray. He will probably have come with the servants. (Aside)' 
 This is a tight corner. 
 
 Miss H. That's what puzzles me. There's something wrong 
 in the stories somewhere. And yet, that butcher-man, Juffkins, 
 told me of a boy, and you have seen a boy about, haven't you, 
 Mr. Raymond? 
 
 Ray. (in some confusion). Yes, Miss Howard. 
 
 Miss H. And yet it's strange! I knew that the Nicholls 
 adopted a nephew, but that's years ago. Why, he must be a 
 man almost by now, something like you, Mr. Raymond. 
 
 Mar. (looking suspiciously at Raymond). Is not your tea 
 agreeable, Mr. Raymond? You are making quite a wry face 
 over your cup. 
 
 Ray. Quite right, thanks. (Aside) I wish I were safely out 
 of this. 
 
 Mar. (to Miss Howard). But Juffkins couldn't be wrong, for 
 Prudence says 
 
 Miss H. Juffkins could be wrong! And I hope he is, I 
 should be more than delighted to have my old friends near. 
 Juffkins is a gossiping donkey, and, by the way, I have seen 
 him hanging round too much lately keeping Prudence from 
 her work. H I catch him again, I'll give him a taste of the 
 greeen umbrella, as well as "the little rogue next door." 
 
 Mar. (laughing). Oh, auntie! 
 
 Miss H. That I will. Well, Mrs. Davis said that she heard 
 one of the servants from next door say that they had received a 
 telegram saying that her master and mistress were expected to- 
 night. 
 
 Ray. (starting up). To-night! (Jeremiah, who has been 
 visibly trying to suppress a sneeze, suddenly gives vent to a 
 loud one. All start up) 
 Miss H. (zvith a little scream). What's that? 
 Mar. Oh, Mr. Raymond, there's someone behind that screen. 
 (Raymond goes behind and drags out Jeremiah) 
 Miss H. Thieves! Burglars! Prudence! Green umbrella! 
 
16 That Little Rogue Next Door. 
 
 {Sees Jeremiah) Juffkins! {Falls hack in chair, Marjorie 
 bends over her) 
 
 Ray. Now, scoundrel — {Shaking the unhappy-looking Jere- 
 miah hy the collar) — give an account of yourself. What are 
 you doing behind that screen in this lady's drawing-room? 
 
 ENTER D. R. Prudence. 
 
 pRU. Whatever is the matter? {Rushes up to Miss Howard) 
 
 Ray. {still holding Jeremiah) Prudence, fetch a policeman. 
 (Prudence turns round and sees Jeremiah) I want to give this 
 man in charge. 
 
 Pru. Oh, sir, it's my intended. He isn't a thief, and it's my 
 fault he was behind there. 
 
 Miss H. {suddenly sitting up) Your fault! How? 
 
 Pru. {sobbing). Please, mum, me and Jerry is keeping com- 
 pany, and we've had a bit of a tiff, and he came to see me about 
 it. And as I was busy in here, I asked him just as far as the 
 door, mum, and then I heard you come in the back way and 
 Miss Marjorie in the front, and I didn't know what to do, so 
 I slipped him behind the screen till I could get him out unknown 
 to you. 
 
 Miss H. Was ever such a shameless confession heard ! Why 
 didn't you get him out? 
 
 Pru. Please, mum, you never gave me the chance among you. 
 
 Miss H. Well, get him away now. Mr. Raymond, let him 
 go, and. Prudence, pack up and go, too. 
 
 Mar. Oh, auntie, you won't send Prudence away like this. 
 
 Jer. {looking angrily at Raymond). You're no gentleman, 
 and you've no need to send for a policeman for me. {All look 
 astonished, especially Raymond) 
 
 Mar. Mr. Juffkins, how dare you! 
 
 Pru. Oh, Jerry, be quiet! 
 
 Miss H. What do you mean? 
 
 Ray. The man's mad ! 
 
 Jer. Not as mad as you'll be when I tell my tale. It's my 
 turn now. Ladies, I humbly axes your pardon for bein' here. 
 As Prudence says (an' I 'opes to marry her soon), I ain't no 
 thief, but it's 'appen a good job I was behind there for the sake 
 of you ladies. {To Raymond) I heard you, mister, when you 
 was thinking loud up like. (Raymond mutters " confound ! " 
 and goes up stage) 
 
 Miss H. {severely). Jeremiah Juffkins, will you say your say 
 
17 
 
 and get gone! Prudence, stop that howling, or leave the room. 
 You are a greater fool than I thought. 
 
 Jer. Well, ma'am, while I was behind that screen that mister 
 there came in an' he says to hisself like as 'ow he was deceiving 
 the ancient old hen-chaser. Meanin' you, ma'am. (Miss How- 
 ard gasps with horror, Marjorie turns aside to hide a smile, 
 Raymond gives a start, and then stands still holding down his 
 head) 
 
 Pru. Hush, Jerry! 
 
 Miss H. (sarcastically). Go on, this is interesting! 
 
 Jer. And what would you say if you knew he had come after 
 sweeter fruit, than ever grew in your garden, and lots more as 
 proves him no honest gentleman, and then he tries to talk non- 
 sense to Prudence? 
 
 Pru. No, Jerry, he said nothing wrong to me at all. That's 
 your silly jealousy. (To Miss Howard) Oh, please let Jerry 
 go back to his shop now, and I'll go as soon as I have finished 
 my work. 
 
 Mar. Oh, auntie, let them go, and forgive them both, and 
 then let this gentleman — (Looking coldly at Raymond) — explain 
 if he can. 
 
 Miss H. Prudence, go back to your work, and if you are 
 bent on being foolish shortly, you may remain with me until 
 you are ready to commit your act of folly. Mr. Juffkins, I'll 
 overlook your impudence in coming into my drawing-room with- 
 out my invitation, and as you value my future patronage, not 
 a word of this until I give you leave. Not a word— (^5 they 
 seem about to express thanks) — but go! (EXIT Jeremiah 
 and Prudence d. r.) Now, sir, what have you to say to the 
 "ancient old hen-catcher?" 
 
 Ray. (coming fonvard). Nothing I fear that will ever make 
 you forgive the rudeness of that regrettable and thoughtless 
 speech. Miss Howard, I beg your pardon! 
 
 Miss H. (coldly). Go on, sir, I want your explanation. 
 
 Ray. I met your niece at a garden-party some days ago. I 
 heard from my friend Norton that she was in this neighborhood, 
 so I accepted his invitation to come and stay a few days in ad- 
 vance of my people. I felt desirous of improving my acquaint- 
 ance with her. (Marjorie turns aside) I had been told how 
 opposed you were to my unfortunate sex, and when I had the 
 good fortune to be of some slight service to you, you spoke to 
 me of your fears for your fruit. I thought I saw a good open- 
 ing. I saw you had fallen into error concerning your neighbors. 
 
18 That Little Hogue Next Door, 
 
 You know what has happened since, and I am entirely at your 
 mercy. 
 
 Miss H. Well, you certainly are the coolest young man I 
 ever met. (To Marjorie) Pray, how much have you deceived 
 me? 
 
 Ray. (hastily interposing). In no way, madam. I am the 
 only culprit, and I feel now I have deserved the merciless snub- 
 bing that Miss Marjorie has given me. 
 
 Miss H. (softening). Snubbed you, did she? Quite right! 
 
 Ray. Yes, I have all my favors yet to win, I know. 
 
 Miss H. Well, there's the grace of honest confession about 
 you. And now, pray, who are you? 
 
 Ray. Is it possible you have not guessed? 
 
 Mar. (smiling shyly). I think I have! 
 
 Miss H. Bless my soul! Guessed what? 
 
 Ray. That I am Basil Raymond, medical student, very much 
 at your service, nephew and adopted son of your friends, Mr. and 
 Mrs. Constantine Nicholls, and — dare I add — the " little rogue 
 next door." (Miss Howard starts up, seizes him by the hand, 
 and Marjorie looks on smiling) 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
FARCES 
 
 SURPRISES 
 
 Farce in One Act. Tico Males, Three Females 
 By C. Leona Dalkymplb 
 One Interior scene. On the anniversary of Ruth's wedding day her 
 mother arrives, unannounced, as a surprise for her. Her husband 
 plans to surprise her with the present of an Angora cat. The maid- 
 servant conceals the mother in an adjoining room ; the butler con* 
 ceals the cat in the same room, and locks them both in. The result 
 in both cases is unexpectedly surprising, and an imminent catastrophe 
 is finally and most surprisingly averted. Plays thirty minutes. 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 A BACHELOH'S BABY " 
 
 Farce in One Act. Two Males, Two Females 
 
 By Katharine Kavanaugh 
 
 One Interior scene. An exceedingly comical sketch, depicting 
 
 the woes of a struggling artist, on whose hands a baby is left while 
 
 he is at the station awaiting his fiancee. Full of action from Start 
 
 to finish. Sure to be a success. Plays about thirty minutes, 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 RELATIONS 
 
 Farce in One Act. Three Males, One Female 
 By George M. Rosener 
 One Interior scene. An inimitable sketch, full of rapid repartee 
 and rollicking •' Situations." Billie is a whole team in himself ; his 
 tincle and brother-in-law force the fun, but Billie comes out on top. 
 The action is unflagging and irresistibly funny. Plays about twenty 
 minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 " TOO MANY HUSBANDS 
 
 Farce in Tico Acts. Eight Males, Four Females 
 By Anthony E. Wills 
 One interior scene. Arthur Maitland, living with Harry and 
 Milly Brown, draws a regular allowance from his uncle, Col. Crane, 
 upon the plea of being married. The colonel requests a picture of 
 the supposed wife, and Arthur, not having any ready at hand, for- 
 wards that of Milly, without her knowledge. He thereupon suddenly 
 announces an immediate visit expressly to make the acquaintance of 
 Milly. After much persuasion Milly undertakes to assume for the 
 few hours the character of Arthur's wife. The colonel arrives, and 
 thereupon follows a series of situations, complications and climaxes, 
 which make this farce one of the most laughable. All the charac- 
 ters are good and strongly contrasted. Plays two hours. 
 PRICE 25 CENTS 
 
 A WHITE SHAWL 
 
 Farce in Two Acts. Three Males, Three Females 
 By C. Leona Dalrymple 
 One interior scene. Costumes modern. A cleverly arranged " Com- 
 edy of Errors," in which an elderly doctor's attempt at wooing a 
 young girl already engaged — an old maid's efforts to secure a mate 
 — and the strategy of two young men to defeat the doctor's aims all 
 result in getting things tangled ud in the most ludicrous manner. 
 Woman's wit and a white shawl set matters right at last. Plays one 
 and a half hours. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
 
 THE MATINEE IDOL 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in one act. One Male, One Female 
 By Anthony E, Wills 
 One interior scene. A young stage-struck girl arranges to take 
 lessons from an elderly actor, who in earlier days was a popular 
 matinee idol. Her crude attempts at rehearsal show her unfitness for 
 the stage. The pathetic narrative of the old actor's gradual descent 
 from eminence to obscurity shatters her stage yearnings and per^ 
 Buades her to resume her place in her happy and prosperous home. 
 The old actor is a fine character study. Plays about twenty-five 
 minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 DOLLY'S DOUBLE " ' 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in One Act. One Male, One Female assuming *to© 
 
 parts 
 By Charles Stuart 
 One interior scene. An exceedingly humorous conception, bright, 
 catchy and original, leading through several stages to a clever climax. 
 Plays twenty minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 ""'"'"'""^ jQjjjg.,g EMMY 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in One Act. One Male, One Female 
 By Charles Rtuart 
 One interior scene. A methodical old hookworm awaits a young 
 girl who is to be his ward. An entirely different girl arrives, v/ho 
 summarily subjugates him. The action is rapid, crisp, and full of 
 comicalities. A capital character study fot- both performers. Plays 
 about twenty minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 "~^ BERNSTEIN AND FIRESTEIN " 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in Hebrew dialect. Two Males 
 
 By James F. Parsons 
 
 Exceedingly funny both in ludicrous topics, sheeney hits and droll 
 
 repartee ; concluding with the song, " Oh, My ! Von't V\^e Make der 
 
 Money ! " for which the text and music are given. Plays fifteen 
 
 minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 TWO WANDERING JEWS 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in Hebrew dialect. Two Moles 
 By Harry E. Shelland 
 Full of funny and catchy dialogue and repartee, and ending, with 
 a song. Plays about fifteen minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 MULDOON AND THE NIGGER ; OR, WHITE AND 
 BLACK 
 
 Vaudeville Sketch in One Act. Tivo Males 
 By Harry E. Shelland 
 Muldoon, an Irish stage manager, meets very suddenly Johnson, & 
 darkey, whom he wished to engage as an actor in a Mephistopheles 
 drama. After a lot of funny characteristic talk, they rehearse John- 
 son's part. After some ridiculous attempts at highfalutin' tragedy^ 
 partly in very blank verse, Johnson collapses. They close with a song. 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
MILITARY PLAYS 
 
 25 CENTS EACH 
 
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