Price 35 Cents (Acting rights free to purchaser of 12 copies) The Crimson and The Blue A Class Play in Four Acts and an Epilog By EDITH PALMER PAINTON We have prevailed upon the author to allow us to publish this remarkably successful com- mencement play, which has been leased in manuscript for several years, and which always scores a brilliant success. It is the highest type commencement play. 6 male and 6 female characters. Copyright, 1912 Bjj March Brothers MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 208-210-212 Wright Ave., LEBANON, OHIO No Entertainments Exchanged. No Entertainments «e»»( on aclection or subject to return. The Crimson and The Blue A Class Play in Four Acts and an Epilog By EDITH PALMER PAINTON ^ ij MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 208-210-212 Wright Ave., LEBANON, OHIO r Copyright, 1912, by March Brothers. TMP96-006863 / CHARACTERS Ralph Reed, Class President. John Judson, Class Treasurer. Sam Simpson, Class Dunce. Ted Turner, Class Clown. Guy Gould, President Junior Class. Ruth Randolph, Class Vice-President. Ina Ireland, Class Prophet. Ar^NABELLE AvERY, Class Bcautj. Edna Ellis, Class Historian. Dora Deane, Class Poet. IVIiss Wright, A High School Teacher. Professor Monroe, The Principal. SYNOPSIS Act I. — A Class Meeting. "Reconsider !" Act II. — The Last Experiment. "Curiously enough, the 'acid' was sweet !" Act III. — Preparations. "The Crimson and the Blue !" Act IV.— The Fateful Hour. "We've all got in bad, but we hope to recover !" Epilog — After Ten Years. "Ten years of penance, yet we all escape to tell it." The Crimson and The Blue ACT I. Scene. — A classroom. Sam, Ted, Ruth, Ina, Anna- belle, Edna and Dora sit in chairs, comfortably enjoy- ing themselves. Ralph sits at desk in front. Edna has note hook on lap, and a large hunch of pencils, and husies herself hy writing down everything that is said. Anna- belle is chewing gum conspicuously. Ina and Ruth frown on her frequently, and exchange glances of disdain. Sam and Ted converse apart over everything that is said and done, Sam laughing at whatever Ted says, while Ted keeps a very straight face. Ralph frowns at them every time, and Ted then shakes his head at Sam, in mock warn- ing, who laughs again. Ralph (rises) — Class will please come to order! Will somebody please state the object of the meeting? {Looks all around, gravely. Ted dodges, Sam and Annabelle giggle, Ruth and Ina look around to see if anyone is going to respond, hut no one does.) Don't all speak at once! {After another pause, Ruth looks all around again, then rises slowly, and speaks timidly.) Ruth — Mr. President ! Ralph {with an air of relief) — Miss Randolph! Ruth — I believe that the object of this meeting is to reconsider our class colors, our class motto, our class flower, and — and {looks from one to the other, hesi- tatingly) — 6 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph (sarcastically) — Is there anything else? Ruth — Well — er — a few little things like that. (Sits.) Ralph — I can't understand this, I'm sure. It seems to me that we have alreadj'^ had a try at all the colors in the rainbow, all the mottoes in the English language, and all the flowers advertised in the seed catalogs. It is certainly exasperating to be the president of a class that has no mind of its own — and doesn't know it ! Well, I am ready to hear whatever complaint or suggestion any of you may have to offer. First, who has been finding fault with our class colors again, and what is the matter with them this time.'* (A pause, while he looks from one to the other inquiringly. All have been looking at In a, urging her to speak, hut she hangs head.) Ruth (at last rises and speaks, timidly) — If you please. Mr. President, Ina didn't like them. Ralph — Ina.? (Ruth nods and sits.) Well, Miss Ireland, we are ready to hear from you. Will you kindly inform this class why the colors we have most recently chosen fail to meet with your approval.'' Ina (rises reluctantly) — Why — er — if you please, Mr. President, the}'^ — cr — will not match well with my dress. (Boys laugh.) Well, they won't! I want to wear a pink dress, and you know green and pink look perfectly horrid together. Ted (takes from his buttonhole a beautiful pink rose, with plenty of green leaves, and holds it aloft, dramat- ically) — Too bad this poor rose doesn't know it! (Boys clap hands, girls look at them scornfully, and Ina sits down in confusion.) THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 7 Ralph {rapping on desk) — Order! Order! Now, what have you to propose, Miss Ireland? Ina {rises again) — Why, I hardly know! I want something that looks well with pink. Pale blue and white wouldn't be so bad! {Sits.) Edna — Mere}' ! Pale blue wouldn't do at all. I want to wear a pale green dress. Ted — We might let each one choose the colors for herself. I guess that's the only way to please the bunch! Ralph — Why on earth don't you all graduate in white .'^ Then anything would harmonize! Annabelle — Why, we'd all look alike then ; like so many peas in a pod ! Sam — I don't sec how, Annabelle ! You're all dif- ferent sizes and shapes. Ted — So arc peas. {All giggle.) Ralph — Well, do let's get down to business and decide upon something. We've got too many irons in the fire now to have to "reconsider" more than a hundred times more. It seems to me, just as I've said before, that we've already given a fair trial to every possible and impossible combination of tints and shades ! Edna — Just hear him ! Anyone would take him for a dry goods clerk ! Ralph — Well, I occasionally read advertisements! Dora {rises) — Mr. President! Ralph — Miss Deane ! {Sits wearily.) 8 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Dora — Don't you think we ought to select our colors for what they signify, instead of trying to match every- body's dress? Every color has a meaning, you know, and ought to stand for as much as the motto, it seems to me! All (together) — Meaning? Annabelle — I never thought of that! Ralph — Nor I ! I rather like the idea, though. Then we can have something to live up to ! Sam — But how can we find out what they mean? Dora — I have a little book right here that gives them. Ted — Good for you, Dora ! It's worth something having a class poet after all ! Ralph (rises ogain)— Well, this seems to be the best way out of our difficulty — for this time ! What does the green and white signify, that arc — or were — our choice? Dora — The green signifies jealousy — Ted — The limit ! We don't want that then ! Edna — Should say not ! Ruth — No, the class of 19 — isn't jealous of any- thing or anybody on earth ! Ina — And has no reason to be ! Ralph — But what does the white stand for, Dora? Dora (looks it up in book) — White means purity! Annabelle — Purity? Sounds like a revival meeting! Ted — Or a political campaign! (All giggle.) THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 9 Sam — We dcn't need that till v,e get to heaven! White — too much of it — always makes a fellow think of funerals ! Annabelle — Or weddings ! Ted — Same thing! (All giggle.) Ralph (m desperation) — Well, we seem to have de- cided upon one thing — we don't want the green and white ! Will somebody please inform the chair what in thunder we do want? Sam — Something that means bravery — All — Yes, yes ! Ruth — It means a lot of bravery to step out into the *'cold and cruel world !" Ted — Well, Ruth, if you're afraid to go alone — Ralph (rapinng on desk) — Order! Order! We have decided that we wish to incorporate in our colors that one that symbolizes bravery — are all agreed? All in favor say "aye !" All — Aye ! Ralph — Contrary, "no!" (No response.) The *'ayes" have it ! Miss Deane will please inform the class what color that is ! Dora (looking in book) — It is — crimson! Ted — Crimson — the blood of martyrs ! Hurrah for us ! Ina — Crimson on a pink dress ! Horrors ! Edna — Be brave, Ina, be brave! Crimson is it! 10 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Rai.ph — We must have another color, of course ! What shall it be? RiTTH (rises) — I think we ought to have something that stands for truth! Sam — Bully for you, Ruth ! So do I ! Ted — Of course, Sam, you are in for that! Having already been in the high school for six years, "gradu- ating" is a fairy tale that you wish to come true! That's your idea, isn't it? Sam — Well, if it does come true, it will be because I am honest and didn't stoop to cheat in order to pass — as some I could mention have done ! Ina — Now will you be good? Ralph — Are all agreed upon this question? Annabelle — What question ? Ralph — Why — er — I don't know. (Scratches head.) What was the question? Ruth — The color that means "truth," I suppose! Ralph — Oh, yes ! Are all agreed that truth is to be one of our class principals? All in favor say "aye!" All — Aye ! Ralph — Contrary, "no !" (No response.) It's carried ! Miss Deane will please inform us what color we have chosen ? Annabelle — It will be a good one on us if it doesn't match the other, won't it? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 11 Ted — Don't worr}^, Annabelle ! Bravery and truth always match ! Dora (rises) — Mr. President! Ralph — Miss Deanc ! Dora — The symbol of truth is blue ! Annabelle — Crimson and blue ! That isn't so worse ! Ted — Three cheers for the crimson and blue ! Dora — For the crimson and blue Is the brave and true ! Ruth — Good for the poet ! We must have our class song written now, Dora ! Ted— Of course ! What's the use of having a poet, if you don't use it? Ralph (looks at zaatch) — Well, tempus fugit! Let's please not reconsider these colors this week ! Edna {looks at calendar on wall) — This is Friday! I guess we won't this week ! Ralph — I'll be glad when our program is out. We can't change our minds so much then ! Ruth — I don't care, Ralph Reed I Most of us won't get the chance to graduate but this once, and I think we have a right to have things just as we want them. Ralph — Of course ! If you can only make up your minds what you do want ! Let's do stand by our colors now, though I They mean sometliing I Now, how about the motto .P Sam — John don't like it ! 12 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — John? Well, why isn't he here to speak for himself? Let me see — what was the last motto we selected? ( Thinks. ) I declare, we've had so many different ones, I can't remember! What was it, Edna? Edna {reading from note book) — "Know something of everything and everything of something !" Ralph — Humph ! What does John have to say against that? Sam — He says it sounds too much like, "Be a Jack of all trades, and a master of none !" Ruth — Well, it docs — a little — doesn't it? Ralph — Oh, I guess so ! I don't know ! And if I'm president of this class much longer I won't know anything at all! Ted — Don't get rattled, INIr. President I Remember, "This, too, shall pass away !" Ralph — Hope so, I'm sure. (Enter John, L.) Come in, John, You are just in time to tell us what you think we had better substitute for our motto! John — ^Why, as for me, I'd like nothing better than the good old advice, "Dig !" Ted — That sounds too much like work ! We aren't any of us going into the digging of ditches — or graves — I hope ! John — It's inspiring just the same! You know when- ever we go to Miss Wright for help in mathematics, she is sure to say, "Dig it out! Dig it out!" (All laugh.) And it's good sound stuff all right! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 13 Ina — Well, we girls aren't going to dig, an^'way ! Sam — How would, "Grit wins !" suit the crowd ? Annabelle — Too dirty ! John (sits) — Well, I don't care, much! Only I'd be ashamed to send out any invitations with such a weak- kneed sentiment as that lust one on them ! DoEA — I'd like something figurative ! Ted — Of course ! Most poets do ! Dora, I'm afraid you're a genius ! Sam — Something figurative ! Don't put the figures too high. {All laugh.) Ted — Sam's always been weak in figures ! Couldn't figure out how to get out of the high school in less than six years! (All laugh.) Ralph (impatientli/) — Well, what would you suggest, Miss Deane? Dora — Oh, there are so many pretty ones ! It's hard to choose between them all. Don't you think, "Out of School Life Into Life's School," is good? Ruth — Too old ! DoEA — Well, how about, "Launched, But Not Anchored ?" , Ina — Too discouraging! Sam — Besides, we aren't going to sail, are we.'' Ted — You bet! (Sings.) We're going a-sailing, a-sailing, a-sailing ! 14 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Annabelle — And we'll all sail high! Sam {innocently) — Oh, you mean in an airship! Boats can't sail uphill ! If it's a balloon, or an aeroplane, just count me out! I'm no aviator! All {laughing) — Not yet! John — Oh, we're all living above the clouds just now ! We'll come back to earth soon enough after commence- ment ! Ralph — But we haven't settled this motto business yet! If things are going on like this, you can just "reconsider" your election of president, once and for all, for I'm not hankering after a padded cell in a lunatic asylum. I don't mind having to make up my own mind, but to have to make up the minds of nine full-grown boys and girls is more than ought to be expected of even a class president ! Ted — Perhaps you think the rest of the bunch haven't any minds to make up ! John — I like the motto of the Holly School, "Impos- sible is Un-American !" Ina — That wouldnt' do for us, John ! We're up against an "impossible," now — for we can't decide — simply can't! DoEA — How about this one? "Beyond the Alps Lies Italy !" Sam — But we don't want to go to Italy ! John — And If we did, we wouldn't have to cross the Alps to get there! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 15 Dora — I'll tell 3'ou ! Let's take the words of Napo- leon — those words he said when he started to conquer Italy, and the people told him he couldn't cross the Alps! We all admire Napoleon, don't we? Ted — Sure thing! But what was it he said? "Just watch my smoke!" or what? John — I don't remember, either ! Was it, "Get out of the road !" I think that would be a dandy motto for a hustling class like ours ! Ruth — Yes, we're hustlers ! Takes us six months — and then some — to choose one little motto ! Ted — We're slow, but sure. Annabelle — Yes, sure of reconsidering. Edna — But do keep still, and let Dora tell us what Napoleon said ! Dora — If you'd only read your histories instead of — of — "Munsey's" and the "Black Cat," you'd remember that he said, "There shall be no Alps !" John — Say, that's a jim-dandy ! {Rises.) Mr. Presi- dent I Ralph — Mr. Judson ! John — I move that we — the class of 19 — , — who cer- tainly have within ourselves those qualities that made Napoleon great, adopt as our motto his immortal words, "There shall be no Alps !" Sam — But what — Ralph (motioning Sam to silence) — Do I hear this motion seconded? 16 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ted {rises importantly^) — Mr. President! Ralph (bowing) — Mr. Turner! Ted {slowly, emphasizing each word) — I — support — that — motion ! ( Sits. ) Ralph — You have heard the motion and its second. Are there any remarks? {All look at Sam, expectantly.) Sam — I don't see what difference it makes to us whether there are any Alps or not! {All laugh.) We don't live near them, and they can't possibly interfere with us in any way unless we go to them ! Why not find a motto somewhere near where we live? Dora — Why, Sam, they're only figures ! Sam {shakes head, puzzled) — Figures? Ted — Don't mention figures to Sam. Mathematics always turns his head ! Sam — Didn't Napoleon mean real Alps? Dora — Of course ! But we don't ! Ted — See? (Sam nods slowly, not really understand- ing yet.) Ralph — All in favor of this motto say "aye!" All — Aye! Ralph — Contrary, "no!" {No response.) Carried! The motto is adopted — for a few days ! If you get tired of this one, you'd better adopt "Reconsider" for your motto for good and all, for it's certain to be the supreme rule of your lives ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 17 Ruth — As much as to say that the president always knows his own mind! But does he? Ralph — Now for the flower. What's the matter with the sunflower you chose last week? Annabelle — Too gaudy ! Ina — Too common ! Ruth — Too large and ill-shaped ! We want some- thing that we can wear! Edna — It doesn't harmonize with my dress ! Dora — It isn't fragrant ! Ted — There, ]Mr. President, don't say again that the girls don't know their own minds, for they certainly do! The sunflower's all right so far as I'm conceraed — but it is awkward. Sam — I don't see what we need a class flower for, anyway ! John — For buttonhole favors, of course, Sam, and to give your best girl ! Ted — Fancy giving her a bunch of sunflowers ! Wouldn't she freeze you.'^ Ruth — We want them in the decorations, too. What does the sunflower mean, Dora.'' Sam — Mercy! do flowers have meanings, too.'* John — Everything in this world has a meaning, Sam ! Ted — Even girls — but {sighs deeply) — a fellow can never find out what it is ! 18 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — Well, what shall it be, then? Ted — The daisy, of course! Isn't our class a daisy? John — ^Arguing from that standpoint, we might take the dandelion ! We're certainly all dandies ! Edna — Or the ladyslipper — some of us are ladies ! Ruth — Or the nasturtium ! Miss Downer used to say we were all nasty urchins ! Ina — Let's take rosemary. Shakespeare says, "That's for remembrance !" Annabelle — But it's not pretty at all, and wouldn't show off a bit in the decorations. Why not choose the forget-me-not — it means the same thing. Dora — Pansies are prettier than either, and more ap- propriate, too ! Shakespeare says they are for thoughts — Ted — And thoughts are right in the graduate's line every time ! I vote for the pansy ! All {enthusiastically^) — The pansy! the pansy! Ralph — Are you ready for the question, then? All — Yes ! yes ! Ralph — All in favor — All — Aye ! Ralph — Contrary? (No response.) The pansy, then, enjoys the distinction — at present — of being our class flower I Ted (rising eagerly) — Oh, I say, Mr. President! Ralph — Well, Mr. Turner! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 19 Ted — I move that we reconsider that — John — Put him out ! Ruth — Choke him off! Sam — Sit on him ! Edna — Hear him ! Ina — No ! no ! Dora — Save us ! save us ! Annabelle — Just hstcn to that ! (The above exclamations are given rapidly and ex- citedly, and Ted sits down, laughing.) John (rising) — Mr. President! Ralph — Mr. Judson ! John — As chairman of the Program and Invitation Committee, I am ready to report ! ( Ralph bows. ) The invitations will be ready for mailing Monday afternoon ! The Journal got the whole job, of course, being so much cheaper, and now the Argus refuses to give us any notice whatever because we didn't let them do any of the printing. Annabelle — The very idea ! Ina — Horrible ! Ruth — Shocking ! Ted — Perfectly disgusting 1 Sam — Why didn't you go over there and just — ^just — Edna— Talk Turkey to them! John (calmly) — I did! 20 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. All — You did? John (still calmly) — Yes, I did! Dora — Oh, John, how romantic! What did you say to them? John — I said, putting on my most high and mighty air — Annabelle (enthusiastically) — And you're just splendid, John, when you do that ! John (bowing) — Thanks, awfully I Annabelle — Well, honest, you are ! All— 'Sh ! Ralph — Do go on, John! What did you say? John — I said, "Sir, are you aware of the fact that you have grievously insulted the class of 19 — ?" Dora — Oh, John, how brave of you ! Edna — How did you dare? Annabelle — What did he say? John — W-e-1-1 — not much ! Ralph — But what? John — Well, he — er — just looked me over from head to foot, and grunted a great big grunt, and then he said (hesitates) — All (eagerly) — What? John — He said, "Are you the class of 19 — ?" (All laugh. ) THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 21 Ted — Gee, that was a hot one ! Ina — And then what did 3'ou saj, John? Edna — Yes, do tell us ! John — I said, "Well, no, I'm not exactly the whole thing, but I'm a ninth of it!" {All laugh.) Ruth — Just like a story ! Dora — Or a poem ! Annabelle — Isn't John perfectly splendid? He re- minds me of King Arthur's knights, especially Sir — Sir — Sir — who was that, Dora, we admired so much? Dora — Launcelot ? Annabelle — No, not him ! Dora — Who, then? Annabelle — Why, that one whose "strength was as the strength of ten !" Dora — Oh, you mean Sir Galahad ! Annabelle — Yes, that's him John (disgusted with the flattery) — Such grammar! Ted — But what comes next, John? Ina — Yes, what did he sa}^ to that? John — He said, "Well, bring along the other eight- ninths of yourself the next time, and perhaps I'll talk business with you!" (All laugh.) But, say, we've got to get busy and make out our list of guests, so we can get these invitations off as soon as they're out ! 22 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — The girls agreed to attend to that, John. That's women's work ! Is there any more business to come before this meeting? Dora — I wish it wasn't too late to reconsider the buy- ing of these miserable class pins. I hate them ! Ali.— Why? Dora — Why, the horrid little bits of things — they look like bib pins ! Ruth — Never mind, Dora ! The3''ll probably come useful some time. Dora — But people will take us for babies — graduates from tlie kindergarten — and they cost a dollar and a half, too! Ted (singing) — "If I only had it now. Just a little of it now" — Ralph (rapping the desk) — Order! Order! Is there any more business to come up this afternoon? (Looks at watch; no reply.) I have to help Professor Monroe with some laboratory experiments at four, and it's nearly that now. If there is nothing else, a motion for adjournment is in order. John (rises) — Mr. President! Ralph — Mr. Judson ! John — I move that we adjourn until such time as we have some more important questions to reconsider. Ruth — Second the motion! Ralph — All in favor — THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 23 All — Aye ! Ralph — Guess it's unanimous! Meeting's declared adj ourned ! Ruth — But, say, girls, let's us get at those lists before something else comes up ! Girls — All right! (Girls gather around table with pencils and paper as hoys exit.) Ina — That won't take long! I know about whom I want now. Dora — So do I! (Counts on fingers.) There's mamma, papa, grandma, grandpa. Aunt Kate, Uncle Joe, Aunt Marion, Uncle Peter, Cousin Jack, Cousin Mabel, Joe White — Annabelle — Why Dora Deane, are you going to invite all your relations? Dora — Why, of course! Why not? Who else would 1 ask? Annabelle — Well, I'm not ! My relations are all as poor as Job's turkey ! Dora — ^I don't see what difference that makes ! They're your relations just the same, and you've got to ask them! Annabelle — Don't you think it ! I'm going to ask the people who can afford to buy me nice presents ! Ina, Ruth and Edna — Why, Annabelle Avery. Annabelle — Well, I am ! You can't choose your relations, but, thank goodness, you can choose your friends ! Ina — We must ask all the school board! 24 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. All — Of course! (Write rapidly in note hoolcs.) Ruth — And all the alumni ! All — Of course ! ( Writing rapidly, as before. ) Annabelle — And all the editors and their devils ! (Counts on fingers.) All — Of course ! ( Writing. ) Dora — And— and — and — All (inquiringly) — And — ? Dora — What — boys? — outside bo^'s, I mean! Edna — Whatever ones you want, goosie ! Annabelle — Oh, say, girls, let's not monkey with this oM list! I've got to try on my dress at five' Ruth — Well, let's cut it out, then. Annabelle — ^Why, it is cut out, and all basted, too. It was ready to fit — (all laugh) — what's wrong? Ruth — I meant to say, let's leave this job till a more convenient season. (Rises.) Annabelle (rising) — Oh, I see! In A — What's the difference who comes, anyway? The fewer there are, the better I'll get through with my part. Edna — There arc others ! Dora — But what'll the boys say? Edna — Who cares? We are free and independent beings who believe in — All — In what? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 25 Kdna — In the emancipation — jes, in the superiority — of the female sex! (Looks from one to the other.) Don't we? Annabelle, Ina and Ruth — We do ! we do ! Doha {doubtfully) — I — guess- — so! {All laugh.) Annabelle — Come on home with me and see my dress. It's gorgeous ! Ina — Shall we girls? All {jumping up) — Sure! Dora — I've been djang to see it ! Annabelle — It's a dream, girls — a fantasy — a poem in silk and lace ! Come on ! Follow me and you'll all wear — All — Graduating dresses! (Annabelle lifts skirts daintily, and trips off L., others doing the same, and following her, single file, laughing merrily. Dora runs back and gathers up her note book and pencil.) Annabelle {off stage) — Hurry up, Dora! Dora {writing as she leaves, walking slowly L.) — Yes, I'm hurrying! {Speaks and walks as if half asleep, as curtain falls.) (Curtain.) 26 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. ACT II. Scene. — A chemical laboratory; shelves of bottles, labeled; tables for students, fitted with alcohol lamps, test tubes, etc., an apron hanging beliind each of the desks not yet occupied. A small oil stove at C. back. Curtain rises, disclosing Ruth at her desk, R., wearing apron, and searching her chemistry diligently. Edna, near her, also wearing apron, writes rapidly in note book. Ina at left is putting on apron. Dora, without apron, is looking dreamily out at left entrance. Ralph and John, at left, are whispering together, with air of excitement, now and then consulting their chemistries, and then continuing to argue. Sam sits at his desk, studying, and scratching head. Ina — Do you realize, boys and girls, that this is the very last experiment we shall ever make in this old labora- tory .'* All {without looking) — Um-hum! Ina (in disgust) — Humph! (Turns to the desk, and turns pages of book, idly.) Ruth (reads aloud) — "If an acid and an alkali" — no, "if an acid or an alkali" — Ralph ( interrupting ) — Ruth ! Ruth (looks up) — Well? Ralph — When we make nitric acid, don't we always — Annabelle (entering) — Of course, we do — always and forever ! What is it, Ralph ? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 27 Ralph {turns back to John in disgust) — Oh, nothing ! AnNxVBElle (walking to her desk) — Humph! (Takes apron from nail.) Nice way to saj^, "Good afternoon," to a lady ! (Imitates.) "Oh, nothing!" It doesn't sound as though Ralph cared very much about me! (Holds apron out in both hands at arms'' length, examining it critically.) Mercy ! this apron needs a bath ! I can't wear such a filthy rag as this. Ina — Oh, pshaw ! this is the last time you'll ever have to, Annabelle. Do put it on and keep still. Annabelle — Why, so it is ! Isn't that simply great 1 "Hurrah!" Why don't you? (No response.) Humph! All dead.'^ (Pauses; no response. Looks all around.) Where's Ted.? John (without looking around) — You can search me! All — Me, too ! Annabelle — And where's "Prof?" Ralph (sarcastically) — Do you see him anywhere in the room, Annabelle? Do> you think he's hiding in any of the drawers or bottles? Talk about tke eternal feminine — bosh ! Annabelle (unabashed, very sweetly) — Did I under- stand 3^ou to say the infernal feminine, Ralph, dear? (Ralph grunts, but 7nakcs no other answer. Annabelle puts on apron. ) Dear me, this apron ! How do I look, Ina? Ina (without looking up) — Quite natural, Annabelle — almost like your old self ! 28 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph {not looking around) — Bum! Annabelle — Humph! I do wish the School Board would provide some kind of a mirror for this old labora- tory. How are we ever to know when our clothes are on straight? (Struts around, looking at apron, trying to see the hack of it, over shoulder, etc. ) What is our experiment to be to-day, folkses? (Nobody answers.) Humph! a person might as well be in a graveyard! Wonder what we're here for, anyway, if anybody knows. (Looks from one to the other.) You all seem dreadfully busy. What are you doing, anyway? Ruth (promptly, not looking up) — Studying! Edna (writing steadily, without looking up) — Writing up my notes ! Ralph — Trying to convince John — John (interrupting) — Trying to make Ralph see — In A (interrupting) — Nothing! Sam — Cramming ! Annabelle (dryly) — I see! Dora! (No answer.) Dora! Dora (rousing herself from her abstraction) — ^Was anyone speaking to me? Annabelle — Well, I should smile! What were you doing? Dora — Doing? Why — I — I — don't know! (Sits at desk and takes book.) Annabelle — And what am I to do? Let me see! (After a pause, as if considering the matter, imitating THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 29 Ina's tone.) Nothing! (Takes fan from pocket and fans self leisurely.) It's too hot to work, anyway! Let those work who have to ! Sam — Say, you wise ones, I can't find anything in this book. What's the formula for — Ted (entering R. out of breath) — Howdy, everybody! (General excitement. All leave everything else, and crowd around him, talking rapidly.) Annabele — Why, Ted! What's wrong? In A — ^^^^here have you been? Ruth — Ten minutes late. Dora (sentimentally) — We've missed you so! Edna — Give an account of yourself, sir ! Boys— Where's "Prof?" Ted — Heavens and earth! Do let a fellow get his breath, won't you? (Annabelle steps beside him and fans him vigorously.) Thanks, Annabelle, thanks ! (She fans more rapidly than ever.) All right, now! (She continues to fan briskly.) That'll do! that'll do! (She still fans.) Gee whiz! Let up! Your freezing me to death ! Annabelle (still fanning) — Answer our questions, then! Ted (dodging) — I will! I will! if you will only stop that windmill. (She stops. He seats himself on desk, with an air of enjoying his importance.) Well, then (bows to Annabelle), What's wrong? — everything! (Bows to Ina.) Where have I been — on an errand! 30 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. (Bows to Ruth.) Ten minutes late (looks at watch), right you are, but being on business for the good of the school it doesn't count, see? (Bows to Dora and imitates her sentimental tone. ) "We missed you so !" — so glad to hear it ! It is so sweet to be missed ! (Bows to Edna.) An account of myself? — I think I have already given one! (Bows to hoys.) And where's "Prof?" — Avhy — ^why (speaks carelessly and calmly) — I shot him down in cold blood, and tossed his body over the bridge into the river! Boys (astounded) — What? GiR Ls ( shuddering ) — Ugh ! Dora and Anxabelle (scream) — Oh-oh-oh ! Ted (calmly) — He said it wasn't Friday. I knew it was! ( They look at one another in consternation, shaking heads. ) Don't give me away ; nobody knows but you ! Ralph (exasperated) — Come out of it, Ted, and talk United States! What do you mean by such nonsense? Dora (clasps hands) — How sweetly tragic! I must write a poem about that ! Ted — Well, you all seemed to hold me accountable for "Prof's" failure to appear, so I thought I might as well live up to what was expected of me, and get a little notoriety out of it. Girls — Mercy ! Ted — The truth is, "Prof" is sick and had to go home. I went with him to help carry some books and other junk. Pie can't come to class this afternoon, but wants us each to put in the time working up any experi- ments we may have left unfinished, so our records will be THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 31 complete. {Rises with an elaborate bow, and speaks grandiloquently.) Now, ladies and gentlemen, that is "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" {raises right hand as if taking oath), so help me. Jack Robinson, as to why "Prof" is absent and why I was tardy. Ralph — Well ! well ! what shall we do ? My experi- ments are all finished. John, Ina, Ruth and Edna — Mine, too ! Annabelle — Horrors, mine aren't ! ( Turns pages of book.) I have numbers 2, 26, 31 and 48 to do, besides, oh goodness knows, how many more ! Sam — And I have a dozen or two to finish, too, but I never can begin a single one of them without "Prof" to show me how ! All {with mock pity) — Poor Sam! Annabelle — If we only had some sugar and vinegar and — oh — oh — a little butter, I bet I'd experiment a little on something we could eat. {All look at one another quickly, as if wondering whether or not they dared.) Dora {in a loud whisper) — Do we dare? All {inspired) — Let's! Ruth — But how can we get sugar? Ina — Are there basins enough? Edna — Is this oil stove filled? Ralph — Girls ! girls ! Remember our motto — All— "There shall be no Alps!" 32 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ina {has been looking off L., noxa speaks aside to Ted and Ralph, pointing L.) — There comes Guy Gould! He's as busy as a Chicago rent collector these days, and he'll be going back down town in a minute. Let's give him some money and have him bring the supplies. Ralph — But he's president of the Junior Class, don't you know, and I can tell you he's almighty proud of his new dignity, too. Do you think he would condescend to do it? Ina — Sure he will, if we get Dora to ask him. Good- ness, he'd walk doAvn town on his head and bring the things back in his mouth if she asked him to. Ralph — Humph ! must have it bad ! Ted (feigning fright) — Golly! Say, Ina, you don't think there's any danger of her asking him to do that, do you? ' Ralph (turns to class) — Boys and girls, a collection will now be taken up for the purpose of purchasing supplies for the use of the class in — ahem ! — laboratory work ! (Passes a dish and all drop in coins.) Now, Dora, will you please run out and ask Guy Gould as he passes to buy us some sugar, vinegar, butter, and — what else, girls? Girls— That's al-1 ! Dora (hesitatingly taking the money) — But I don't lik Ina (looking left) — Hurrj'^, Dora, there he goes! (They push her out L.) Ruth — Now we must hunt up a big basin and a spoon, and get them scoured up. (Girls begin search.) INIercy ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 33 what if one of the teachers should come in? Boys, will one of you start the oil stove? I'm afraid of the thing, but we must have some water heated for dish washing at once. Boys (oil together) — You bet! {They busy themselves at stove. Sam goes for water, and they soon get it on to heat, while girls find basin.) Dora {re-entering) — He says he will be back in a jiffy — whatever that is — and wants to have a share in the fun. All — Good for Guy ! In A — Here's a basin that will do nicely, but I declare I can't find a spoon anywhere. Can any of you? Girls — No. Edna — Not a sign of one. How would a nice little pointed stick do? The boys could soon whittle one. Girls — Fine ! Ted — The next thing is to find the stick! {Boys begin to hunt stick.) Annabelle — Oh, say, girls, we forgot the soda. We'll only need a little pinch, but we just have to have that pinch. We've got some salt here. I had it in my lunch basket. But what about the soda? Girls- — Oh, pshaw ! Ruth — Docs anybody dare to run across the street to Mrs. ]\Iiller's and "borrow" a tin}^ bit? {No answer.) Don't all go together ! Annabelle — But if she should squeal — 34 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ruth (decidedly) — But she won't. Tell her I sent you. Annabellf. — I'll go ! {Starts L. on run.) Ruth {washmg basin, calls) — Get a spoon, too, Anna- belle ! ( No answer. ) All (call) — Don't forget the spoon! Annabelle (m distance, off L.)- — All right. Ina — 'Sh! Somebod3f's coming! (All grab books, note books and pencils, and take seats at desks. Ruth turns out fire. All are apparently deeply absorbed in study. ) Guy (enters L.) — Here, you folks! Here's your junk! (All jump up laughing and toss books, etc., in every direction. John runs and starts fire again, the girls take packages from Guy, Ruth gets at her basin again, and all is confusion.) Ruth — Not a sign of a towel anywhere ! What shall I use? Ralph (pulls handkerchief from pocket) — Here's a brand clean handkerchief, Ruth. Will that do? (Re- enter Annabelle with soda and spoon.) Ruth — Oh, thanks ! I used mine for a dish-rag 1 (Holds up hers, wet and dripping, and spreads it over desk to dry.) Now, Ralph! (Takes his and wipes basin.) Now, girls ! Annabelle — Here's the sugar — how much? Ruth (holding out basin) — Oh, a good cupful — better put in two, I guess ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 35 Boys — Two, of course ! Annabelle (looking around helplessly) — But how'll I measure it? Ina — Oh, 3'ou'll have to guess at it — pour it in — pour it in ! Here's the vinegar, Ruth. I'll pour in about two tablespoons of it, shall I? Ruth — Sure! (Ina pours it in.) Now for water (Edna pours vn water) — a little butter — hurry, girls! Ted — Butter, butter, who's got the butter? Ralph — I have. How much do you want, girls? RiTTH — Oh, a good, liberal piece! (He cuts it with pocketknife and puts in basin.) Now a pinch of salt and another of soda. (Edna puts in one and Ina the other, and Ruth piits basin on stove and stirs it.) Thanks, girls — now Til make the candy ! Ted — Sure, Mike, an' it's the asiest job in the world to be carryin' the hod. I only carries the bricks up six flights of stairs on me back — that's all. There's a man up there as does all the woi*k ! Ruth does it all. {All laugh.) Guy (has been talking to Dora) — Is this — er — chem- istry? All — Sure ! Guy — Very interesting, isn't it? I thought it might be (hesitates) — All— What? Guy — Domestic science! (All laugh. He turns back to Dora and resumes flirtation.) 36 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Annabei.le — Mercy on us ! What are we to use to cool it in? I never thought to ask Mrs. Miller for pans. Ina — ^Dear me ! and we'll need them soon, too ! We hadn't got far enough along to think about them before. Annabelle — I'll go back! {Runs off L.) ^ Edna — Annabclle hasn't once thought about her dirty apron. If she had, she wouldn't have crossed the street with it on for any mone^' we could offer ! John — Well, don't speak of it to her, anybody ! Guy— Where's "Prof?" Ted- — Gone home sick ! Guy {significantly) — I see. Well, I must be off! {Starts L.) Ruth {busy at stove) — Oh, no, Guy! Stay just a moment and learn the result of the experiment ! Guy {at L. entrance) — Thanks, Ruth! {Looks hack at Dora.) Don't care if I do ! {Walks back to Dora.) I've always been very much interested in — chemistry ! But, say, just as a flea in your ear, you know- — it doesn't pay to monkey with the professor too far. Don't you know what he said to those boys in Perry who tied the donkey to his desk in the morning before class? All — No ; tell us ! Guy — Why, he walked in, and sized up the situation at a glance, you know — All — Yes, yes ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 37 Guy — And then he said, "Well, gentlemen, I see you have already provided yourself with an instructor — one who is well qualified to teach you all you will ever be able to learn !" And with that he walked out, as dignified as you please ! And he never taught another class, either, until every last boy of them apologized ! John — Just like him ! Edna — Dear me ! I almost wish we hadn't dared this ! Ted — Too late to "reconsider," Edna ! Annabelle (re-entering with pans, ivra/pped up in her apron, which she has removed) — Here's your old pans ! Why didn't somebody remind me that I had that nasty old apron on, and not let me fly all over town in it and disgrace myself? (Throws pans down with a crash. ) John (picking them up) — Save the pieces, Annabclle ! Ina — You looked all right, Annabclle. Who would see 3'^ou, anyway? Annabelle — Yes, who would? Didn't I meet every boy in town that I ever knew? (Sidks.) Ruth — Most ready for the pans, Annabclle ! Butter them, won't you? Annaeelle (crossly) — Oh, I suppose so — where's the grease ? Ralph (passing butter to her) — Here! (She butters pans. ) Edna — Listen, kids ! What about our experiment records? "Prof" will expect to examine them, and there 38 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. won't be a single new line in them. Then he'll question us and we'll have to tell him — something — and — and — dear me ! I'm getting scared ! Annabet.le — He may not smell a mice at all ! John — He may be too busy to notice ! Ralph — He's never too busy to notice what's going on under his nose — don't 3'ou ever think that ! Professor Monroe sleeps with one eye open. Ina — What shall we do.? Edna — What can we do? (All think deeply.) Ted {after a pause) — I'll tell you, Edna! All {eagerly) — What? Ted — Get your blank, Edna, and write down the experiment just as it is — the way you always do. Then we can all copy from yours. The chances are he won't give it much attention just now at the final wind-up of everything. Edna — But how could I write iti' — "sugar" — "vine- gar"— Ralph- — -Wh}', of course, they have their formulas. Look them up ! That's a bright idea of yours, Ted. Ted {feels head, proudly) — Thanks, awfully! Edna {dubiously) — All right! I will, of course, if you all say so! But I tell 3^ou right here I wish someone else had it to do ! Ina — Ruth — Annabelle — Dora. {Looks at each in turn.) Girls {each answering as her name is called) — Busy! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 39 Edna (sighs) — I suppose so! {Gets big chemical dictionary and puts it on her desk. Opens note book and thinks, with pencil at lip.) What's the formula? Ruth — Sugar — let's see — two cups make a pound — that would be sixteen ounces — Sugar 16 oz. Vinegar 3 oz. Butter 4 oz. Water 5 oz. Salt 1 gr. I guess that's all. Anxabelle — Soda ! Ruth — Oh, yes, I forgot ! Soda, too, one grain. Edna {considting dictionary) — Let's see. Sugar is Ci2 H22 On. I wonder what vinegar is? (Searches book.) V — V — V — I can't find it here, anywhere. (Runs finger down column. ) No, sir, it isn't in the book ! Ralph — Why not call it acetic acid? There isn't very much difference, 3'^ou know. Edna — All right. (Consults book.) Acetic Acid — Acetic Acid — here it is — Ch3 Cooh. ( Writes formula in note book as she reads and studies on, silently.) Ted (walks to stove and stirs mixture) — Isn't it about ready, Ruth? Ruth — Nearly — not quite ! Edna — Goodness ! I can't find an}' formula for butter anyivhere here, either ! John — Leave the butter out, then ! 40 THE CBIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — All right! {Proceeds with her work.) Annabelle — Oh, mercy, John Judson ! It wouldn't be fit to eat ! John — I meant out of the record only, Annabelle — certainly not out of the — the — the dope ! Girls (disgusted) — Dope! Edna — Listen, now, everybody — how's this? (Reads.) Formula. Ci2 1122 On 18 oz. Ch3 Cooh 3 oz. H2 5 oz. Na CI 1 gr. Na2 Co3 1 gr. Experiment. The ingredients were thoroughly mixed together, brought to 212° Fahrenheit, and kept at that temperature for fifteen minutes. Result. A sticky substance was formed, which responded to neither the test for an acid nor that of an alkali. It was of a light brown color, with the odor of an acid, and Avas very sweet to the taste. All (clapping hands) — Good! good! Ralph — Edna, you're all right! Edna — But what shall I say under the head of "Ob- servations?" You know how particular "Prof" is about our recording our own personal discoveries and ideas, and so forth, and so on. THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 41 Ted — Better warit for those remarks till we've had a chance to test it ! All — Sure ! Ruth — Well, I guess your chance has come ! Come on quick, evcrybocW, and help me turn it in the pans ! (All jump up eagerly and circle around her, Ralph grabbing one pan and John another. Ruth raises the basin and pours candy in Ralph's pan. He hands it to Annabelle, icho sets it on a shelf to cool, while Ruth pours the remainder of the candy into John's pan. At this moment Professor Monroe enters quietly R. Ina grabs the pan from John and puts it beside the other. They turn to face the Professor, in great embarrassment. He apparently observes nothing.) Professor IMonroe — Well, young people, how have you been getting along? I felt so much better after a rest that, curiously enough, I could not stay at home any longer. This being your last experiment, I thought I had better come and see if you needed any help. Did you? Ri^th — N-o-o-o ! Ina {dubiously) — I — guess — not ! Professor Monroe — How about you, Sam? Sam {confused) — Why- — I seem to — have got along — all right. Professor, INIonroe {surprised) — Well, now, I'm glad to hear that ! Curiously enough, I was afraid you might have trouble! {Looks around room.) You all seem to have been very busy. {Sniffs.) And I smell something peculiar — an aciduos odor, I believe. Curiously enough, I can't just define it. Who took the record? 42 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. AxL (faintly) — Edna! Professor Monroe — Well, Miss Ellis, let's see your book and find out what you've been doing. It gives me great pleasure to learn that you can work so well and accomplish so much in my absence. Curiously enough, I did not expect it. (Edna hands him her note book and he reads it carefidJy. The others exchange glances of consternation. Ruth tahcs the opportunity of slipping hack to the stove and hiding the basin. Annabelle and Ina stand in front of the pan. The boys watch the Professor closely.) Um-um — rather a peculiar combina- tion. Ch3 Cooh — that's acetic acid, isn't it? But why all those salts in conjunction with it.^* I can't understand. {Pauses, scratches head in puzzled manner.) An acid should have resulted — did you try the litmus on it.'' (Looks from one to the other.) All ( reluc tantly) — N o ! Professor Monroe — But why not.'' I should have thought that would have been your first move. How did you test it then.? (All look from one to the other at a loss for a reply.) Have you any of it left.* (Walks toward the desk, picks up paper sack.) What's this.'' Ted — Please, sir, it's a paper sack ! Professor Monroe — I sec it is. And what's in it? (No answer. He opens it and looks in.) Sugar, as I live! (Looks questioningly from one to the other, and all hang their heads in guilt. After a long, uncomfortable pause, he begins to laugh heartily.) I didn't know that I was teaching a kindergarten class, but I see — well, children, bring out your — er — refreshments ! Don't you think it's my treat ? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 48 All (enthusiastically/) — Hurrah for "Prof!" (Anna- belle and Ina turn to the pans of candy, breaking the candy into pieces, Axnabelle passing hers to the Pro- fessor.) Professor Monroe {helping himself liberallij) — It smelled like an acid, and, according to the formula, it should have been an acid; but, curiously enough, the "acid" is sweet. (Ina has been passing candy to the crowd, and all are now supplied.) Ted — There, Edna! Now you have a satisfactory conclusion to write under the head of "'Observations" in in our experiment records. Edna {eagerly) — What? {Class has gradually ar- ranged themselves on each side of the Professor, in semi- circle, now thoroughly at ease, and eating candy with relish.) All {eagerly) — Out with it, Ted! Ted {walks to "Prof" and lays his hand affectionately on his shoulder) — Why, I mean those last words of our beloved guest of honor — "curiously enough" — All {laughing) — "The acid was sweet!" {Curtain falls, disclosing all laughing and eating candy, the Pro- fessor in the center.) (Curtain.) 44. THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. ACT III. Scene. — Interior of the hall. The motto is strung across back. The girls are standing on chairs, arranging hunting of the class colors in festoons. The hoys are carrying in plants, arranging them at back. Edna — Goodness, I'm glad this decorating is so nearly done ! I never knew before that graduating was such hard work ! Annabelle — Neither did I ! If I had, you could have counted me out ! Ralph (arranging plants) — You never did like to work, did you, Annabelle? Annabelle — Well, not any better than some other folks I could mention ! Ralph — Not guilty, Annabelle ! I adore work — as I do a dose of quinine ! Girls (all) — Humph! Ralph — For the after-effects — the good it produces ! John — Yes, just think, Annabelle, of the chance you'll have to show off your beauty ! Ruth — And clothes ! Annabelle — There are others ! Ina (getting dorvn and standing off to note effect) — • Don't count me, Annabelle, for I don't expect to get through with the decorations here in time enough to decorate myself! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 45 Ralph — Stick to the decoration of a "meek and lowly spirit," Ina, and you won't need any other ! Ina {bows to him) — Take your own medicine, Ralph! You need it worse than I ! And you know, you adore quinine? How does that look? {Points to decorations.) Ralph — Bully ! Edna — Well, as for me, I may have to wear sackcloth and ashes, for all I know ! I took a test in chemistry last night, but I haven't heard the outcome yet! {Gets down to look at decorations.) Ted {entering with plant) — The outcome, Edna! Why, you'll come out, of course — top of the heap — right side up with care ! Say, you girls, where shall I put this plant ? Edna {going to right side of hack) — Put it here! {He starts to obey.) Ina {going to left side of back) — Put it here! {He pauses, irresolutely. ) Edna — Come on, Ted, right over here. {He looks at Ina, hesitates, then starts to obey.) Hurry up! Ina — Ted! {He stops, looking at her) — Here's the place for that plant, right over here. {He starts.) Edna — Didn't you understand me, Ted? This is the place. {He turns, starts back.) Ina— Ted! {He starts.) Edna— Ted ! ( He starts. ) Ina — Do as I tell you ! ( He starts. ) 46 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — Do as I tell you ! Ted (puts doxvn plant in despair) — Who in thunder is boss of this business, anyway? John — Better reconsider, Ted ! {Enter Professor INIonroe.) Professor IMonroe — Aha! that looks very well! Ted {pointing to plant in center) — There? Professor Monroe — Oh, I didn't see the plant. What's the matter? Ralph — He's halting between two opinions ! Edna — I'm not an opinion ! Ina — Nor I ! Professor jNIonroe — This reminds me of the day we decorated our chapel at the university, and, curiously enough, the colors are exactly the same as ours. Ted- — Were the girls as — as — as — opinionated? Edna — Why don't you say stubborn? Ina — Why don't you say obstinate? Annabelle {getting dozvn) — Why didn't you say contrary? Ruth {getting dozon) — Why didn't you say mulish? Ralph — Why didn't you cantankerous? Ted — Well, I meant all of them put together. Edna {borving sweetly) — Put the plant just where you tliink it looks best, Teddy dear! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 47 Ina (bowing sweetly) — I wouldn't interfere with your plans in the least, Mr. Turner ! Ted {shakes head) — Girls are queer animals! Ina and Edna (indignantly) — Animals! (Make for Ted, who dodges.) (Enter Guy.) Ralph — Hello, there, Mr. Junior President! How's business ? Guy — Fine! Say, I want 3'ou folks to give me your lists right off for the reception ! The invitations are being sent around as fast as we can write the names ! Ralph (searches pockets) — Well, I've got mine here somewhere ! Here it is ! There's only eight of them ! John — Here's mine! (Hands it.) Sam — Give me a pencil, someone ! I haven't written mine! (Ted, Ralph, Guy, John and the Professor each reach him a pencil, the girls starting toxvard him.) Thanks ! I can't use but one ! Ted — Talk about a brotherly spirit, how nmch more do you want for a nickel.^ John — And talk about a sisterly spirit, Ted— Ted — Don't ! I have sisters of my ovra ! Those girls are altogether too sisterly. (Looks at plant, shaking head. All of the girls but Dora come up, handing Guy their lists. Some take lists from belt, others scribble them off hastily, others stop to read them over, etc., anything to invest the scene with naturalness.) 48 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ruth (looking over Annabeli^e's slwulder) — You aren't going to invite him, are you? (Pointing to a name. ) Annabelle — Why, of course! Why not? What's it to 3^ou? Ruth — Oh, nothing! only — Annabelle — Only what, Miss Ruth? Ruth — People will talk ! Annabelle — Then let them talk! Who cares? Ruth — ^Wcll, it's none of my funeral ! Guy (calls) — Dora! Dora! (Dora is busy, sitting on chair, writing, and does not hear.) Dora, oh, Dora! (No answer. ) Edna — She's making poetry, Guy ! Don't disturb her dreams ! Guy — But I must, if we get the cards out this after- noon. (Goes to her.) Ruth — Too bad to interrupt her flow of inspiration ! Axnabelle — Nonsense ! She'll be glad enough to be interrupted b}' Guy. Ten to one she was dreaming about him, anyway I Ina — I thought they had quarreled ! Ted — The^r're always quarreling— just like old mar- ried folks ! Edna — But it's only for the fun of making up ! John — So Dora can write more poetry ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 4-9 Guy (he and Dora walk to crowd) — Have you folks positively decided what decorations you prefer on your table? Dora — I thought it was to be just pansies! Annabklle — Oh, we reconsidered that ! It was to be the class colors in ribbon streamers the last we voted, I think ! Guy — If you folks don't beat seven of a kind ! Ted — Sure ! There are nine of us, Guy ! Can't you count? Ask Sam, he's our mathematician! Guy — Well, don't change your minds and reconsider the idea of having a reception at all and stay away at the last minute! It would be just like you! Professor Monroe (rvho lias been walking slowly around the room with his hands behind his back, holding hat, and looking the decorations over very carefully) — ^I want to tell you, people, that going to school is a busi- ness — an intense business — and must be conducted along business lines ! Ted — Then graduating must be going into bank- ruptcy ! {All laugh.) Guy — I wonder if I have all the lists now ! Let me see! {Looks through handful of slips.) Sam, Ralph, Edna, Dora, Ruth, Ted, John, Ina and Annabelle ! Ted {who has pointed to each one as the name was mentioited) — All present and accounted for! Annabelle — Oh, Guy, just let me take my list again for a minute. {He -finds it and hands it to her.) I've 50 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. changed my mind about one of these! {Crosses a name off paper and returns slip to Guy.) There! Ted — She's reconsidered! {All laugh.) Guy — Please don't any more of you reconsider before I get away with these. {Exits with Professor Monroe, talking together.) Oh, about that little toast we want, Professor. ( Exeunt. ) Ruth — Oh, say, I want to make out the list of eat- ables for the picnic now while we're all together. All — Of course ! Ralph — Well, we bo3^s will be arranging the plants. We can't do much of anything else until we get the cut flowers. Who went after those flowers, anyway? Sam — Whom did you appoint, INIr. President? Ralph {consulting note hook) — Why, who was it? {Finds place.) Samuel Simpson! Sam {scratches head) — Sounds like my name, but I declare I had forgot all about it! I'll skidoo ! {Grabs hat and runs. ) Ralph — Come on, fellows! We'll fix the plants up dandy! Girls, you can boss the job! Ted {scratching head, ruefully) — Only please don't all boss at once ! ( Girls sit near back. Boys move plants about, trying different effects. Girls now and then motion some change to them, but let it all be in pantomime.) Ruth — Ina! Ina — Present ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 51 Ruth {with note book and pencil) — What will you bring to the picnic? Ina — Biscuit — sandwiches — anything you like ! Ruth — We like everything that's good. I'll put you down for the bread part. Ina — O. K. (Ruth writes,) Ruth — Edna ! Edna— Pickles ! John — Pshaw ! I was hoping our pickle would be over by that time ! Ruth (zcrites) — You'll be glad enough to get one, then! Dora! (Dora is writing dreamily and does not hear. ) Dora ! Dora ! Punch her somebody ! ( The one nearest to her pu7iches her.) Dora {rouses) — Eh? — what — did anybody speak to nie ? Ted— Oh, no ! Nobody at all ! Just Ruth ! Ruth — Now wouldn't that — but what's the use? Dora {innocently) — Did you want me, Ruth? Ruth — Yes. What will you do for the picnic? Dora — Why, I'll — er — I'll write a poem and read it if you want me to. Ted — Spare us, oh, spare us ! We're not prepared to die! Dora {surprised) — Wasn't that what you wanted? Ralph — Should say not ! 52 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ruth — The rest of us can't live on poetry, dearie, if you can ! Dora — Oh, you mean something to eat ! Boys — You bet we do! Dora — Well, let me see ! I can bring pressed chicken - — how will that do? Ted — Bully for you, Dora ! You bring pressed chicken, and you can just read all the poems to us that you want to, can't she, boys? Boys — You bet she can ! Ruth — Yes, I don't doubt but you'd keep her busy reading until you had gobbled all her chicken up. Ted— Foiled again! That settles it, boys! We'll have to reconsider. Ruth — What shall I put down for you, Annabellc? AxNABELLE — Cake! It's the only thing in the world that I know how to cook. Ted (zchistles) — What more do you need to know? (Kneels.) Annabelle, will 3'ou marry me? Annabelle — Never in the world ! Ted {gloomily, rising) — And we are informed that there is no marrying in heaven ! Foiled again ! You will all be my witness, classmates, that I offered my love to her ! Ruth — Or to the cake. {All laugh.) I guess I've got all the girls down now but myself. I'm going to bring baked beans. THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 53 Ted — Hurrah for Boston ! Ruth's education is com- plete. She has the genuine Boston poHsh, warranted not to rub off — pork and beans ! Ruth — What will you bring, Ted? Ted {bowing low) — My fascinating self — and a whopping big appetite ! Ruth — That goes without saying — but what else? Ted — A girl — if I can find one ! Ruth — But what else? We want something to chew! Tkd — A rag? (Ruth turns up nose.) Well, put me down for fruits — any kind you want. Johx — Ted thinks he's a peach, himself ! In A — He isn't just the same. He's a greening. Ruth {to Ted) — Now will you be good? Ralph — I'll provide the ice cream, Ruth. Anxabelle — I'll go with you, Ralph ! In A — So will I ! Edna — And I, too. . Ralph — It's manners to wait till you're asked ! Ted — Gee, Ralph, but you're the popular kid ! Ralph — Yes, I understand — popular as a snowball in — in — in the hot climates ! John — You pays your money and you takes your choice. Well, many a man is tolerated for the sake of his possessions ! 54 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ruth — Well, John, you're last, but you needn't necessarily be least. What shall I book you for? John — Why — er — toothpicks, I guess! Maybe I can furnish the water for the lemonade! Sam has promised the lemons and sugar! {All laugh.) Oh, you may laugh! But it's not such great fun to be dead broke as you may think ! ( Ttirns pockets inside out, looking at them, ruefully. ) All gone for flowers and fripperies ! Girls are expensive luxuries, especially when they will be "sweet girl graduates !" (Sighs.) Ruth — ^^Vell, I guess it's all settled. Ted — Oh, I say, Ruth, I want to reconsider my offer- ing! Ruth — Not this time, Ted ! Not even three minutes grace allowed on this deal. Ralph— This class has reformed, Ted! We don't allow ourselves to think twice now, especially after we have already spoken once. John — In short, we have reconsidered reconsidering, and decided not to ! Ralph — Exactly ! (Enter Sam and Miss Wright, L. Sam has large basket of flowers. Miss Wright has large package of manuscripts, with rubber band around them.) Ruth — Pshaw! There comes Miss Wright! Now somebody must rehearse ! We'll never get anything worth while done if we have to practice the live-long time! (All rise and advance to meet them.) Edna — Did you get the flowers, Sam? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 55 Sam — Flowers? Who said anything about flowers? Ina — Oh, Sam, you didn't fail? Sam — Fail? What docs that mean? Ted — Him fail — a member of the Class of 19 — ! Never ! We know not the meaning of the word. Edna — Has it been cut out of your dictionary, Sam? Sam — Haven't looked, not having any use for the word ! Ted — Good for Sam ! It may take him six years to get his mental temperature up to the graduating point, but when he does get there, he stays put ! Sam— Oh, cut it, Ted! Ralph — Now, everybody get busy, and sort over these flowers. It's late, and we've lots to see to, yet ! ( The class form a group at right front, girls on chairs, hoys on floor in easy attitudes. Miss Wright has been walking around, looking at everything.) Miss Wright— Well, boys and girls, I am sure you are going to look very fine — very fine, indeed — I might almost say splendid. Yes, "splendid" is exactly the word. All — Thank you, INIiss Wright. Miss Wright — Miss Ellis, I really believe we ought to go over a part of that class history again, don't you? Edna {uncertainly) — Perhaps! Miss Wright — Just a little. You do very nicely with it, but — you might improve. 56 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — Oh, Miss Wright, I know I'm simply abom- inable in it ! I can't do it decent, nohow ! Ted — Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that lady is the very same Miss Ellis who broke the high school record in the final examination in grammar ! Edna— Be still, Ted! Ted— She's ashamed of it. (Edna waRs to hack of stage and takes position, ichile Miss Wright takes seat, opens role of manuscript and prepares to listen.) Edna — Where shall I begin. Miss Wright? Miss Wright {looking over paper) — Let me see. Begin on the second page; you speak of the trouble be- tween the Freshmen and Sophomore Classes. "And it came to pass" — you know ! Edna {recites) — "And it came to pass, as they entered the high school" — Miss Wright — Not so much importance to the enter- ing of the high school. Miss Ellis. That's ail thrown in, you know — not at all important ! Ted — Great Caesar's dead ghost! It was important enough to us ! Edna — "And it came to pass, as they entered the high school" — Miss Wright — Better — go on I Edna — "That they were received with malicious glee" — Miss Wright — "Malicious" — speak distinctly ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 57 Edna — "Malicious !" Miss Wright — Vcr}^ good. Go on ! Edna — "Malicious glee by a certain band of wild beings, who were called 'Sophomores' " — Miss Wright — "Sophomores!" (Emphatically.) Hit the "Sophomores" hard, you know ! John — We tried to hit them hard all right, all right ! Edna — "Who were called 'Sophomores !' " Ted — Gee, that ought to hold them for a while ! Edna — "And, who, because of their fierce taste for Freshman blood" — Miss Wright {in graveyard tones) — "Fierce taste for Freshman blood" — give it so, Miss Ellis, and roll your eyes gruesomely. Edna {rolling eyes) — "Fierce taste for Freshman blood" {all laugh)— Oh, I can't do it. Miss Wright! I just can't! Miss Wright — Wliy, that wasn't at all bad. Ralph — I thought it was fierce! Miss Wright — Go on ! Edna — Where was I at? Miss Wright — Better begin over. Miss Ellis. Now, the rest of you keep still ! You rattle her ! John — She's always rattled! (Edna glares at him. He dodges. ) I'll be good ! 58 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — "And it came to pass, as they entered the high school, that they were received with mahcious glee by a certain band of wild beings, who were called 'Sophomores,' and, who, because of their fierce taste for Freshman blood, did pounce upon them daily and nightly, and did cause them to suffer great things" — Miss Wright — Say it sadly — "suffer great things !" and shake your head slowly — so ! See ? Edna {imitating her) — "Suffer great things!" Miss Wright — Good ! Now mind your position and speak louder. Edna — "Did cause them to suffer great things {louder) — suffer great things — and to wail in their hearts, 'Behold, blessed be the name of education, for, because of it, have we endured great torment, both of the body and of the mind. Verily, have we bjeen martyrs to this great and noble cause.' " Miss Wright — Oh, Miss Ellis, that will never do! You are too tame — much too tame ! You must put more agony into that passage. Listen! Look! {Rises. ) "Be- hold, blessed be the name of education, for, because of it have we endured great torments, both of the body and of the mind. Verily, have we been martyrs to this great and noble cause." {Sits.) Edna — Oh, I can never, never, never say it like that! Never ! Ted {in loud whisper) — She means never. Edna — It isn't in me ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 59 Miss Wkight — Well, 3'ou are all tired out now, I know. We'll wait a little, and try it again to-night. Edna (immensely relieved) — Oh, thank you. Miss Wright. I am tired. (Goes to crowd, who welcome her hy clappings of hands.) Miss Wright (looks at watch) — Miss Ireland, I have just time enough left to hear a few snatches of your prophecy. (Looks through manuscript for paper.) In A (rises) — Pshaw! (Walks slowly to position.) I didn't know I'd have to practice again. INIiss Wright — Just a little bit of it. Miss Ireland. That about the hospital, first. Edna — Ina's the elocutionist of the bunch, all right. (Sits.) Miss Wright — Begin, "Now, what is this I see — a large building" — and be sure and act out every word of it ! Ina (recites) — "Now, what is this I see? — a large building! Oh, the bustle! the noise! the screams! What is it.'' Oh, I see — a hospital! And a lady physician with her medicine case and her surgical instruments, mo^c s eagerly about her work. What a fierce expression is en her face ! What does she say ? 'We certainly must ampu- tate—don't delay a minute !' She is going to another ward — hark ! hear her say, 'We can't save that arm — cut it off— cut it off !' and now see her saw, saw, and ugh 1 the gruesome deed is done. The poor patient in the cot is without his arm, and the blood-thirsty doctor chuckles over the deed as she goes on her way to another victim. Let me see — what is the name printed in red letters on her medicine case.'* — 'Ruth Randolph, M. D.' " (All laugh and clap hands.) 60 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ruth — Wonder how on earth she knew I was going to study medicine! All — Ruth, are you? Ruth — Expect to, if I live! It has always been my one ambition. INIiss Wright — You spoke that beautifully, Miss Ire- land ! I have not one single correction to make. Now, give me the last little bit, beginning, "I take another look — ^the last !" I am sure you won't need a bit of coach- ing on any of the rest. In A (recites) — "I take another look — the last! What is that — a padded cell in a lunatic asylum.? A poor girl has become raving crazy through her years of hard appli- cation to advanced study in the high school. How she raves ! Listen ! 'Oh, that physics ! that physics ! Will it never come straight? And, professor — what did he tell us once upon a time? "Go to school" — no — "Go to an intense business" — no — Oh, I'll have to reconsider, recon- sider, reconsider !' Surely, nothing but complete relaxa- tion, and the quituation of such close application to her education can save the situation from further complication of its present relation, and prove the salvation of this last revelation of a high school creation — J^nnabelle Avery !" {All laugh and clap hands.) Ralph — Not Annabelle! {Amazed, staring at her.) Her? Annabelle — Not guilty, Ralph! Hard study.'' — horrors ! Ted — And close application — Caesar ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 61 Mise Wright — Well, I'm sure you do splendidly, Miss Ireland! (Rises.) And you won't need to rehearse again. ( Walks out with dignity. ) Ina (walking back to crowd) — Well, I'm not broken- hearted about that ! I do think it's altogether unfair, anyway ! You boys never have to practice ! Ralph — That's all you know about it. We're prac- ticing what we preach — or what we expect to preach — all the time. Ted — Should think so! You just ought to hear my original poem ! Dora (rousing) — Original poem? Ted — Sure thing. Miss Deane ! Why not ? You mustn't get an idea that you are the only toad in this puddle just because everybody says you're so bright — Annabelle — And so green ! Ted — If by any chance you ma}' have conceived such an erroneous idea, Miss Deane, I find myself under the painful necessity of infomiing you that there are others, and you'd better — reconsider ! Ruth — Prove your assertion, Ted ! Let us hear your production. Ted — You mustn't coax me ! The divine fire of Byron, Bums, Keats and Shelley burns within me, but I can't condescend to cast my pearls before swine! (Girls look at one another in horrified indignation.) Ina — Oh, you — you — you (hesitates for a fitting ex- pression ) . 62 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — Brute ! We wouldn't listen now if you'd pay us for it ! Ted — That settles it. Now I shall insist upon being heard. My dignity is grievously insulted, and it's up to me to make good and show you that I can deliver the goods ! ( Walks to position, and, bowing low, recites, the others listening attentively. When he frst mentions "Joe,'* he look's at Annabelle teasingly, xoho looks very much embarrassed. The others look at her, smiling their enjoy- ment of the fun, John pointing to her. This is kept 2ip till Ted finishes, introducing such bits of fun as suggest themselves. ) "A maiden left her downy couch one morn not long ago — And she put a little powder on her face. She made her toilet slowly, fixing every pin just so — Then she put a little powder on her face. She ambled down to breakfast, and she dropped into a seat, She passed her plate to papa, and she got a chunk of meat, She finished up on coffee, and a dish of "Cream of Wheat"— Then she put a little powder on her face. "She took a car to go down town, and shop a little bit— And she put a little powder on her face. At noon she ate a luncheon, paying fifteen cents for it — And she put a little powder on her face. That afternoon she paid a dime for ice cream at a store. And when she'd finished eating it, she longed for just one more. But thinking of the dime 'twould cost, she started for the door — While she put a little powder on her face. THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 63 "She took a car at half-past three, back to her home to go — And she put a httle powder on her face. She ate her dinner with the folks — then ran to call up Joe- While she put a little powder on her face. Joe came at eight, and stayed until most two o'clock, 'tis said, When he had left, she went upstairs, declaring she was dead, She tumbled in her downy couch, and as she lay in bed, — She" (pauses, looking at them, and nodding sig- nificantly^) — All (eagerly) — She — what? Ted — Why — she "put a little powder on her face !" Sam — Whew ! That was a hot one ! Ted — What are you blushing for, Annabelle? I didn't say that this girl was a member of the class of 19 — • (Turns to others.) Did I.'' John — Of course, not ! Ruth — "A guilty conscience needs no accusers." (Ted starts toward them.) Ralph — Hold on, Ted. We're not through with you yet. One thing more needs to be well rehearsed. Ted (standing still) — What? Ralph — This- — When Professor Monroe says to you, "I present you with this diploma, my boy, and hope you will improve in wisdom, knowledge, common sense and virtue," what answer will you make to him? Ted — Why — cr — I'll say, "Thanks, the same to you, sir!" (All laugh.) 64 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — That'll do, Ted. I guess you'll pass, all right, all right ! Ted (walls to them) — Thanks, Mr. President! I'd give you a quarter for that, but — but (turns pockets inside out, looking at them and sighing) — "silver and gold have I none !" Annabelle — Oh, 3'ou don't need any, Ted ! You've got plenty of brass. John — Yes, he'll be enough for all the "real sternali- ties" of life that may knock up against him. He's a corker, that boy! (Dora begins to dream, assuming atti- tude of great absorption and gazing fixedly at floor, not paying any attention to what goes on. She smiles as though dreaming happy dreams.) Ted — Well, you're it now, John. Come, be a nice little man and speak your little piece for the ladies ! John — Not this time, Ted ! Edna — Oh, please do, John! (He shakes head.) Ruth — ^What's 3'our subject? John (rising pompously) — Ladies and gentlemen, I have hopes that my graduating effusion, "An Essay on Man," will surpass even that of Alexander Pope. Ina— "An Essay on Man.?" Why didn't you leave that for one of us girls, who know something about it — Annabelle, for instance — and you write an "essay on woman" instead.'* John — Not guilty, thanks! That subject's beyond me — far too obtuse and complicated for me to begin to understand, much less explain satisfactorily. But you THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 65 just ought to hear me spout on "man." When I begin, "Man is a mass of meandering microbes and a magnificent bundle of blazing blunders" — All {but Dora) — Hear! hear! Ted — That certainly is the limit. John — Did you notice that alliteration.'' I think it's great. Sam — But I don't understand — All {but Dora) — Sam doesn't understand! {Laugh- mg.) John {proudly) — Well, it is deep! Sam — I didn't say I didn't understand that rigmarole of yours, John ! I'm not so slow as I look. Ted — No, Sam, you're not so slow but what you could catch up with a funeral if they'd stop to water the horses, are 3^ou? {All giggle.) John — But this is no funeral. Sam — It may turn out to be ! Ruth — Go on with your speech, John. What comes next ? John — Oh, that's where you hang up the receiver ! Edna — And high time, too I Let's hear your poem, Dora. {No ansxcer.) Dora! Dora! {Pause.) Dora! {Pause.) Ruth — Don't disturb her dreams ! 66 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Annabelle — Dreams — shucks ! Even a class poet ought to know that "the soul is dead that slumbers." {Nudges her.) Come, Dora, wake up — do! Dora (rousing) — Was anybody speaking to me? Ted — Well, rather ! Dora (rapturously) — I've just thought of the loveliest idea for a poem! It would be just fine to read at the reception ! All — Horrors ? Ted — ^Why did we wake her up? Annabelle — It's manners to wait till you're asked. Ina — Let it incubate for a little while, anyway, Dora, for we haven't time to dream to-day. We must get busy. Ted — Yes, and let me remind you, Miss Deane, of Ella Wheeler Wilcox's immortal words, wiiich, being a poet, you can not fail to properly appreciate "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Snore, and you sleep alone." (All laugh.) So j^ou're going in for the pills and powder medal, are you, Ruth? (Ruth nods.) Don't come to Grand Ledge, then, to hang out your shingle, for it's so healthy there that we had to kill a man to start a cemetery. Ralph — But, Ruth, a woman has no right to be a doctor. She's out of her sphere altogether when she goes in for anything like that. Ruth (rises) — Nonsense, Ralph. I tell you, class- mates, you have only to look at our own class here for a demonstration of the power of woman in the world. Aren't THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 67 there more girls than boys hi nearly every class that leaves our high school? Aren't the girls in this class just as high in all their studies as the boys — and sometimes higher? Haven't we won just as many debates? Have we shown an}'^ indications of being members of the so-called "weaker sex?" Is there any lack of bravery in our atti- tude toward the big world? IxA — Even in the chemistry class ! Ted — How about your attitude toward the little mouse, girls ? All — Hush ! Ted — All right. We won't talk about that. Mum's the word ! Ruth (absorbed; ignores him entirely) — We are now all facing, for really the first time in our lives, the realities of existence, and I'm right here to tell you, classmates, boys and girls, we girls are as capable and as courageous as any boy could be. Girls — Good for Ruth ! Boys — Hail to the coming doctor ! Dora — I'm going to write a poem about you, Ruth ! Ted— That'll fix her! John — If she'll coax me, perhaps I'll give her chloro- form while Dora reads it. Edna — Shame on you all ! I think Dora writes beautiful poetry. John — So do we. That's the trouble. It's so beautiful we can't stand it. 68 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ted — You see, it carries us so far away on the wings of ecstasy that we're afraid we'll never get back. Wouldn't that be tragic? Ruth — It might — to you! But do keep still. Ted {mischievously) — Still as a mouse! Edna — I'm sure it would be no great loss to us — nor to the world at large — if you never did come back. Ted — Boys, listen to that ! I'm killed — dead, deader, deadest ! Wrap me up carefully, please, and lay the remains tenderly away ! Ralph — As for Dora — well, it may be all right to have one member of the class like that, but I, for one, am devoutly thankful that all the rest of you are not like- minded. Edna — Hush ! Ralph — Oh, she can't hear ! That's the best thing there is about Dora. A fellow can sit right beside her and say the very worst things about her that he can think of, and she will never even know he's talking. (Girls all whisper together.) John — Now what have the girls got up their sleeves, I wonder? Ted — Arms — pretty ones ! John — How do you know? Ted — Just guessed! John — But really, boys, they have something in the wind — just look at them ! What do you suppose it can be? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 69 Ralph — Oh, there's no telling ! I've given up trying to understand girls ! Sam — 'Tisn't worth while, anyway- I don't believe they understand themselves. Ted — 'Sh ! Don't let them hear such treasonable senti- ments if you have any desire at all to retain your scalp ! Sam {feeling head, carefully) — Well, I have. It's a prett}^ good one. Rai>ph— It's all there yet, Sam. Sam (iw great relief) — Thanks! John — But be careful what you say. They've all got sharp eyes, and, if they tried, could look a hole right through you. Sam {frightened) — Honest? Boys — Sure thing! {Girls have been very interestingly talking together, hut now break up, Edna closing what she is saying, as she turns away, in a louder tone than she intends. ) Edna — A jolly surprise on him! Ted — Surprise! {Whistles.) I smell a mouse! {Girls all scream and jump back, pidling skirts. Ruth leaps upon a chair, screaming.) Edna — A mouse! a mouse! Ruth — Oh, where is it, Ted.'' Where is it.'' Dora — Where did it go.'' Annabelle — Kill it ! kill it ! Ina — O-o-o-h ! 0-o-o-h ! o CTQ 70 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. {Boys all laugh teasingly.') Ralph — And tliis, gentlemen, is a practical demonstra- tion of the boasted bravery of the female portion of the class of 19 — , which we have just heai'd so eloquently expounded ! Ina — You horrid, mean thing! I won't speak to you again for— for — for — Ralph — Make it three minutes, Ina. That's as long as you could possibly keep still ! Ruth {descending from chair, still looking around in fright) — I'll get even with you yet, Ralph Reed! You think you're the whole cheese just because your're presi- dent — but you aren't ! Annabelle — Should say not ! Dora — Not by a good long way ! I'll just write a poem about him, too ! Edna — What can you expect of a boy, anyway? Edu- cate him, or don't educate him, he's nothing but a mere boy after all ! Ted — There ! I hope the rest of you fellows feel properl}' squelched ! My vanity's sunk below zero. Ralph — Come, girls, we didn't mean to frighten you, honest we didn't ! John — I'll bet the poor little mouse was scared to death ! Ralph — Let's have our class song, now, and go home peaceably, won't you? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 71 Class Soxg. Air — "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp." 1. We're the noble and serene Senior Class, Nineteen Thirteen, And we stand for all that's big and good and true ; We're the honor and the pride Of the people far and wide, As we wave aloft the crimson and the blue ! CHORUS. Sing, oh sing, and chant the praises Of our class, so brave and true ; For we've fought a winning fight, And the victory is in sight. As we wave aloft the crimson and the blue. 2. Through the years that are to be, "There shall be no Alps," say we ; There is nothing that we can not be, or do; For the crimson's brave and bold, And the blue's as true as gold, So we're proud to blend our crimson with the blue. — Chorus. 3. We have conquered in the past, And we'll conquer to the last. Ever pressing on to glories, bright and new ! Toward success we'll firmly steer, Knowing nothing that we fear — 72 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ted (spoJien) — Except a mouse! While we rally round our crimson and our blue ! — Chorus. {While singing the last chorus, they pair off, and begin to waltz, repeating the chorus two or three times, and waltzing gracefully to it, ad libitum till curtain falls.) (Curtain.) ACT IV. Scene; — Vestibule or ante-room of hall where com- mencement program is to be given. All are dressed for the evening, and assume characteristic poses about the room. Annabelle is admiring herself in small hand mirror; Dora is dreaming, of course; Edna is talking to Ruth m whispers, and Ina is pacing back and forth, nervously. The boys are grouped together at back, casting sly glances of admiration at the girls in their white robes. Ina — Dear mc, boys ! I dont' see how you can take everything so calmly. I'm worried half to death! Boys — Worried ! Girls — What about.? Ina — Oh — everything — nearly ! Annabelle — Afraid your hair will come down, Ina.'^ It looks so nice ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 73 Edna — And 3'our dress is such a perfect fit — the skirt hangs beautifully in the back ! Ina — Oh, mercy, no ! It's nothing of that sort ! GiiiLS — What then? Boys — Do tell us ! Ina — Please don't laugh at me, boys ! I'm in earnest. I really am — afraid — Girls ( interrupting ) — Afraid ? Boys — No, no ! Ralph — Afraid of what, pra}^? Ina — Afraid I will forget my essay when I get up before that crowd, and just have to stand there like a statue and look silly ! Ralph — Oh, don't let that worry you a bit, Ina! A member of the class of 19 — couldn't look silly if she tried ! John — I'm sure you won't forget! Ina — Thank you, boys — you are very encouraging — but — I wish / was sure ! Edna — Goodness knows, we're all liable enough to forget! I won't draw a free breath till my turn is over and I know I am safe. Ted — Well, I'm not the least bit worried about that. Professor Monroe gave me such a good rule for remember- ing things the other day that I don't believe I could forget if I wanted to. All — Oh, what was \i? 74 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. GiELs (crowding around him) — Do tell us, Ted! In A — Please do, Ted. (Pats him on back.) That's a good boy ! Ted — It's a fine rule, all right — pretty long, though. You'll need to write it down ! Ruth — I guess we can learn it if you can ! Edna — Do hurry and give it to us, Ted, before we have to go in ! Ai.L — Quick ! quick ! Ted — Well, here it is. Got your note books? (All scramble for scraps of paper, pencils, etc., making quite a commotion over it.) Ready? Well, then, "The way to remember" (all write) — "is" — {all write) — All— Well, what? Ted (emphatically) — "To remember!" {All look disgusted. ) Sam {innocently) — But I don't see the point! {All laugh.) Ruth — Neither do we ! But, sajs girls, is my dress all right? {Turns around slowly for inspection.) Dora — A regular poem, Ruth ! You look perfectly heavenly ! Ruth — I feel unearthly ! Annabelle — Here, too ! But, oh, girls, I got the biggest lot of presents. See my ring? It's a diamond! {Shows hand, and they all circle around to see it.) Edna — What a beauty ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 75 Dora — How perfectly lovely ! Ina — Charming ! Ruth — Adorable ! Ted {sentimentally) — May I hold your hand a minute, Annabelle dearest? {Lifts hand and looks at it closely.) Just too perfectly lovely for anything, but — I'd hke to see the inscription inside! (Annabelle snatches her hand away and looks down, emharrassed.) Ralph — Who gave it to you, Annabelle? Annabelle {bashfidly) — A — a — friend ! Dora {pacing floor) — "Nine souls arc now leaving the harbor, No longer at anchor to be ; Completed are all preparations, And boldly we strike out to sea ! Four years have we been making ready Upon this life voyage to start, But now every nail has been driven. And the hour is at hand to depart." John — Oh, Dora, please don't ! It's a beautiful poem, but it isn't fair to harrow up our feelings so, just now. Ralph — If you girls would only stop pacing the floor like a den of caged lions, and calm yourselves, you wouldn't be half so nervous yourselves and wouldn't give us fellows the jimjams! Dora {half crying, wringing hands) — But I mustn't forget — I mustn't — I mustn't ! 76 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Edna — Well, I hope I won't, but I've been trying to say my history over to myself ever since we got here and there's been such a hubbub, I couldn't hear myself think* Ted — ^Lct's give our yell and see if it won't clear the atmosphere a little and have a soothing effect. GiBLs (yell) — Hurrah! hurrah! who are we? Boys — We are Seniors, don't you see? Girls — Where from? All (together) — Blankville High School, rah ! rah ! rah ! Blankville High School, yah ! yah ! yah I Push! Boost! Dig! Delve! Blankville High School, Nineteen Twelve. Ted — There! Now, don't you all feel better? Ina (moaning) — Oh, dear! oh, dear! (Girls gather around her, frightened; all fanning her.) Ruth — Oh, Ina! Whatever is the matter? Ina (sobbing) — I'm s-s-sick ! Edna — Sick? Goodness gracious! Whatever can we do for her? Ralph — Where do you feel bad, Ina? Ina — My head aches and feels so heavy ! Ralph — That's perfectly natural, Ina. It's a little swelled just now, of course. Think how you've been cramming it the last year. THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 77 Ina — But I'm dizz}', too. ! John — That's natural, too ! We always get dizzy when we climb very high, and just see how high up on the ladder of knowledge you have climbed. Why, you're graduating to-night — think of it ! Ina (hand on heart) — My heart feels — like a great — ■ big — lump of — ice ! Ruth — That's the "thought of coming parting" that Dora tells us about in her immortal poem. Ina — And I feel so weak — and so faint! Edna — So do we all ! Ted — Yes, Ina, that all comes from excessive "in- fomiation in the brain," which some call "graduitus." You aren't alone in your affliction. We've all got it, and got it bad — but we hope to recover! Just look on the bright side ! Ina (still sobbing) — There isn't any! Ted (stepping in front of her) — Look at me! I used to be called the brightest boy in the class. Ralph — I'd like to know when ! Ted — When the others were absent, of course, Mr. President ! Maybe it wasn't j ust that, anyway, but some- thing like it ! Ruth — Think of all your presents, Ina, and your flowers — Annabelle — And how nice you look — for you do look swell — honest you do — 78 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ina (brightening up) — Do I, really? Edna — Of course ! And think of the diploma that's coming ! Annabelle — And the reception to-morrow night! Dora — And the picnic Saturday ! Ted— And all the good things to cat! {Smacks lips.) Golly ! And then say there ain't no bright side ! John — Harness your grammar there, Ted ! Ralph — But, Ina, aren't the crimson and the blue bright enough for you? Sam (mournfully) — Must we reconsider our colors again at this late day? Dora (frightened at once) — Oh, no, we simply mustn't! I couldn't possibly get up another class song now! Ralph — Don't worry, Dora. You won't have to. That class song of ours is the best thing you ever wrote. John — It shall be immortal. Ted — Yes, it shall go thundering down the ages as the one and only class song of the illustrious class of 19 — ■ — the greatest and most wonderful class that ever grad- uated from our high school! (Enter Professor Monroe and Miss Wright.) Professor Monroe — Good evening, good evening! All ready to fight the last battle, are you? How do you feel? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ted— Bully ! Pkofessor Monroe — Good, curiously enough, I am feeling in excellent spirits myself to-night. Miss Wright — Now, girls, don't any of you get nervous. Girls (trembling) — We w-w-wont! {Boys giggle and nudge each other.) Miss Wright — And be sure to stand up straight — chins well in — shoulders back — Girls {straightening up) — Yes, ma'm ! Miss Wright — Speak clearly and loudly — not too fast — pronounce every word distinctly and correctly. Girls {meekhj) — Yes — yes! Miss Wright — Move gracefully — not too fast — in fact, be perfectly at ease. Girls— We will ! Miss Wright — Don't think of the audience — they are nothing to you ! Don't think of yourself — ^you are nothing to the audience ! Dora — What can we think of ! Miss Wright— Keep your mind on what you have to say, and on nothing else — mind now, on nothing else ! If necessary, look at me ! Ted {aside) — Horrors! Professor Monroe — Here comes Guy. He's bring- ing his camera to take your pictures before you go into the auditorium. 80 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Girls — Oh, my! {Begin to -fix hair, look dresses over, arrange flowers, ribbons, etc. Enter Guy with camera.) Guy — Hello, you seniors, how's your spunk? Boys — Great ! Guy (looks at watch) — I've got just five minutes to take tlus picture in, so let's not waste any time. (Professor Monroe and Miss Wright help him arrange chairs at back of stage, and seat class in them. Take' some time at this, making a number of changes of position, etc., making it as realistic a bit of pantomime as possible. ) Guy — There, that seems a good arrangement ! ( Looks through camera.) Turn your head to the left a little, Ralph — a little further — that's right! Now, look this way — chin up a trifle — that's right! Ruth, look right straight ahead — sit up straighter — ^liide 3'our hands — that's better ! Edna, don't wiggle so — ^^ou'll spoil every- thing ! Put down your fan, Ina — you hide your face, and Dora's, too ! Now, everybody look right here at my finger, see ? That's right ! Ted, shut your mouth ! Now look natural — you all look like an international funeral ! Come, we want "the smile that won't come off!" You'll all be alumni to-morrow, and you don't want the rest of the bunch to be ashamed of you, do you ? Sam — Is the "alum-ni" a new kind of breakfast food? Guy — Exactly, Sam ! Already now — look right this way I Now, one, two, three — look pleasant, please ! There ! (Quick Curtain.) {Class give yell behind curtain.) THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 81 Epilog. Scene. — A street, ten years later. Curtain rises, dis- closing Ted reading a copy of the local paper. He reads silently, giving vent to whistles of amazement, now and then, and expressing much delighted surprise. Ted — Well, well, who'd have thought it was in him? We knew he'd be great, of course — that was inevitable — but so great a height as this, not even his most enthusi- astically admiring classmates expected him to climb! "There shall be no Alps ["—"There shall be no Alps!" Well, tliere certainly haven't been any Alps in his way, and I don't know as I have any reason to complain, myself. I'm a pretty fair lawyer, I guess, as lawyers go. But let me see! (Pulls out note book; reads items rapidly.^ Five minutes for the hotel, ten minutes for the bank, three minutes for the postoffice, seven minutes for the meat market — and I was to be home by six o'clock ! ( Pidls out watch.) Great Scott! It's already five, forty-five! I must get a double-geared move on myself! (Starts R.) Sam (enters L.) — Hello, Turner! In a hurry, as usual ? Ted (nervously) — Yes, I must really be getting home! I declare, I really don't know where the time has slipped to. I became so interested in to-day's Journal (introduce local paper) that I didn't notice how late it was getting, and now I have only (grabs watch again) twelve minutes to get home. But have you seen the paper.'' Sam — No, I've just got in from Chicago. We drug- gists had a convention there this week — an international affair, you know — most instructive program — jolly crowd! What's in the Journal? Anything new.? 82 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ted {nervously, again loohing at rcatch) — Should say so — but — er — I haven't time to tell you, but you just read that leader on the first page — first column — big black headlines, "Reed's Marvelous Record and Unparalleled Success," and see if it doesn't increase your pride in our old class of 19 — . Just read it, Simpson! I must be off! (Looks at watch.) Only five minutes left! (Exit R.) Sam (opens paper Ted Jias handed him) — Let me see! "Reed's Marvelous Record and Unparalleled Success" — Oh, yes, here it is ! "Special from Washington, D. C." Well, I declare! (Reads.) "The constituents of Senator Ralph E. Reed may well point with pride to his unprece- dented congressional record ! His latest triumph is the talk of political circles everywhere, and has brought him into even greater prominence than his glorious past has done." Well, now, that sounds interesting! What's old Ralph been doing now to distinguish himself so wonder- fxdly, I wonder! (Reads.) "His bill, recently intro- duced, for the immediate suppression of illegality, crim- inality, prodigality, illibcrality and inequalit}^, has passed both houses without the slightest opposition, and received the indorsement of the President. His recent speech upon this bill was pronounced by all present the most masterly effort that has been delivered before either house of congress since the days of Webster. It has added to the lustre of his name more of that same brilliance that has char- acterized his career from his first election. Indeed, there is strong talk already of his being the next popular candi- date for the presidential chair." Whew! (Whistles.) That's what I call going some! Wliy didn't I go in for politics, I wonder, instead of dispensing drugs and decoc- tions for the mere gain of filthy lucre? Oh, well, drug- gists are respectable, anywa}', and all politicians aren't, THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 83 they say! (Reads.) "Mr, Reed leaves the capital to-day for his home city, where he is justly the idol of the people, and where he will be the most prominent visitor at a reunion of the high school alumni of that place. We understand that he graduated as the president of his class in 19 — , from which honor he has climbed rapidly to his present honorable position. We predict great things for this young intellectual giant," Well, it's only what we might have expected of Ralph. He alw^ays went in for big things. {Enter Annabelle, L.) Why, if it isn't Anna- belle Avery ! Annabelle — Mrs. John Jacob Josephus Johnson, A. B., Ph. B., A, M, and LL.D., if you please, Mr. Simp- son! Sam — I offer m}"- most humble apologies, Anna — er — I mean Mrs, John Jacob — and so forth — Johnson. I regret exceedingly that for the moment tlie recollection of the alteration in your legal cognomen escaped the confines of my cranium, else I would never have so unpardonably com- mitted so flagrant a breach of etiquette as to address you in so unbecoming and irreverent a manner, Annabelle — Your apologies are accepted, Mr, Simp- son, Why, here come Guy Gould and Dora. How happy they seem! {Enter Guy and Dora, L.) Guy — Here's Annabelle now, Dora ! Dora was going to meet you at the train, Mrs. Johnson. I think she had a poem of welcome, or some such junk to give you, or read you, or something or other — but she was so busy writing her poem for the alumnal banquet that she forgot all about it till she heard the train whistle. 84> THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Dora (sigJis) — Yes, I've had so little chance to write since we were married that the rhymes don't seem to come as easy as they used to. Annabelle — I remember what a fairy, flowery future you used to dream of. What has become of it, Dora? Dora — Oh, that "fair^^ flowery future," Flutters phantom-like, ahead Of the fairly "floury" A'ision Of a housewife, making bread ! But it's good to see you, Annabelle ! Annabelle — Thanks! What a jolly time we'll all have at the banquet, talking over old school days and com- paring notes. Here come some ladies — any of our old crowd? (Laughter off L.) I believe I hear Ruth Ran- dolph ! Sam — Pardon me, Mrs. John Jacob — ahem — Johnson, but if I may presume to criticize your conversation, and most humbly off'er a slight but very necessary suggestion, I should advise the absolute necessity of addressing that estimable lady as Dr. Randolph ! She's the leading medical practitioner in the county now ! Annabele — So I've heard. (Enter Ruth, rvith medi- cine case, followed by Edna and John.) Oh, girls and boys, how deliglitf ul to meet you all here again ! Ruth, Edna and John — Annabelle Avery ! Sam — ^Ladies and gentlemen, you err most grievously. Allow me the pleasure of presenting to you Mrs. John Jacob — er — er — er — THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 85 Annabelle (prompting him) — Joseplius ! Sam — Josephus Johnson, A. B. — cr — cr — er — What were the remainder of those alphabetical tails, Mrs. John- son? I regret exceedingly my inability to properly enumerate them ! Annabelle — A. B., Ph. B., A. M. and LL.D., if you please, sir, Mr. Simpson. But, girls, what are you all doing ? Ruth — Mixing pills and grinding powder — speaking for myself, Annabelle, and I must away at once, too, for I have an appendicitis case that demands my immediate attention. (Sighs.) I fear I must operate. Sam — If you'll excuse me, ladies — Edna — Oh, certainly, Sam, with the greatest of pleasure ! Sam — You grieve me, ladies. I assure you I — Ruth (interrupting) — Oh, don't trouble yourself, Sam — you needn't compromise your dignity by tearing your- self away in that absurd style. I'll not interfere with your pleasure. My patients need my undivided attention. Sam (with great dignity) — And my patience is about exhausted ! Ruth — Goodbye, all ! See you later. (Exit L.) Edna — For goodness' sake, Sam, why is it that you are always in such a hurry to leave when you see Dr. Ran- dolph? What has she ever done to you? Sam (tragically) — She broke her faith with me, and I'll never forgive her — never ! 86 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. John — Broke faith with you? ^^Tiy, what do you mean, old boy? Annabelle — I never knew that there was a romance there, did you, girls? Dora (sentimentally) — There's poetry in every life! Guy (sighs) — Especially in ours! But what was it, Sam ? Confide in us ! Sam — Oh, it was years and years ago that she vowed to me upon her word and honor that she would — All (together, eagerly) — Would — what? Annabelle— A breach of promise case, I'll warrant you! (Aside to girls.) Edna — Whoever mistrusted ? Dora — Poor Sam, I must write a poem about him ! John — Come, Sam, out with it ! She vowed that she would — what ? Guy — We are all ears, Sam ! Annabelle (prompting him) — That she would — ? Sam — Buy all her drugs of me — that's what! (All turn away in disgust.) And she grossly failed me, and gives almost all her undivided patronage to the Corner Drug Store! I'll never forgive her — never! (Exit R., angrily. ) ' Dora — Who'd have dreamed that such everlasting enmity should ever arise between two such prominent members of dear old 19 — ? I just must write a poem about it ! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 87 Annabelle — I've just been reading of Ralph's suc- cess. Isn't it glorious? Guy — Indeed, it is. Your class may well be proud of its president. When do you think he'll get here? John — To-night, probably. Just as soon as he can, you may be sure ! Dora — You look tired, John. John — I am — a little. Annabelle — But it's worth being tired to be such a prominent educator as you are. Professor Judson ! I can hardly realize that you are now superintendent of our own dear old high school ! John — You xoould realize it, if you stood in my shoes, I assure you. {Sighs.) Guy — Just tell all your students that "going to school is a business — an intense business — and must be conducted along business lines !" Annabelle — My, how many times I've heard Pro- fessor Monroe say that! And "curiously enough," as he used to say, we were always inspired by it! Dora — Yes, I hear him yet in all my dreams ! Guy — Oh, that's what makes you holler out in your sleep so much, is it? The neighbors have all threatened to move. John — You live in Detroit, don't you, Annabelle? Annabelle — Yes, but I just had to come home to the alumnal banquet. 88 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Dora — And your husband? Annabelle — Why, Dora, don't you know? (Weeps in handkerchief. ) I am a widow ! Dora — A widow? I congratulate you! Annabelle {looking up indignantly) — What's that? Dora — Oh, what have I said? I mean, I sympathize with you ! Annabelle — What are you doing, Edna? Edna — Taking it easy ! I'm Ted's stenographer, you know — or supposed to be. But his wife is so jealous of him that he doesn't call for my assistance if he can pos- sibly avoid it. Why, she got dreadfully mad one day because he remarked that he was goirig to buy a new ribbon for his typewriter. {All laugh.) Well, it's only too true! She runs all his business, gives him just so much time to attend to every single duty, and if he isn't right back on the minute, woe be unto him ! It's too bad ! Ted's such a talented lawyer, too ! John — He's what I call a very much married man ! A bachelor's life for mine ! Annabelle — Wonder if Ina'll get here for the ban- quet ? Edna — You bet she will ! Her manager gives her two weeks off! Dora — What a big hit she has made on the stage ! They say she's equal to Charlotte Cushman in Shake- spearean portrayals ! I'm going to write a poem about her! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 89 Guy — Let me coax you not to ! {Enter Ralph and Ina, /?., xcearing traveling attire, carrying suit-cases.) All — There they are! There they are! {General greetings.) Ralph — Yes, here they are — what's left of them ! Ina closed her engagement in Washington last night, so we came home together. How's everybody? You all look as natural as old shoes. All— So do you ! Ted {enters hastily, L., looking at watch) — I've only ten minutes, Ralph, but I must congratulate you on your success. Ralph {shaking hands) — Thank you, Ted! — and I you I I've kept in touch with the famous cases you've fought so successfully. Ruth {re-enters) — I have an operation to perform at seven o'clock — if I don't want one of my patients to get well on my hands — but I must say "hello" to Ralph and Ina! {Shakes hands with each.) Doesn't it make you think of the days of your youth to be back here? Ina — Indeed, it dees ! There's no place like the old home after all! Dora — I'll have to write a poem about that! Guy- — Oh, please don't ! Ruth — I'm going across the street to send a telegram. Be back in two jerks of Annabelle's tongue! {Exit R.) Ina — The same dear old Ruth, isn't she? 90 TEE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — Yes, that beastly physician's rig doesn't change the Ruth of her a particle. She's going to be the leading physician of the whole state yet ! Ted {enthusiastically) — You bet, she will. There isn't a woman in the United States that can hold a candle to her! {Suddenly recollects himself and looks aroiund fear- fully.) Er — er — that is to say — I mean — I don't believe there is — in her line, of course, I mean — in her line ! I declare I must be going. Only two minutes to get home in — can I make it.'' {Starts off R. on run, runs into Ruth, who is returning, and falls. ) For heaven's sake, Dr. Ran- dolph, what have I ever done to you? Why, I haven't a breath left in my body — not one! Ruth — Never mind, Ted ! I'll fix you a tonic that will put new life into you in no time. {Opens medicine case, -pours medicine from flask into small glass.) Here, drink this! {He does so, making wry face.) Feel better.'* Ted — Y-e-e-s — I guess so ! Ruth {closing case) — Thought you would! Ted — What's the charge? Ruth — One dollar, please ! Ted {pulls out purse, reluct antly)^We[\ {fingers dollar tenderly) — ^there you are! {Looks longingly after it, as she pockets it.) Golly, it's late ! {Looks at watch.) I'm three minutes late! Mercy on me! {Exit R.) Ruth — 'A lawyer and his money are not easily parted. Sam {re-entering R.) — Well, Ralph, old boy, how are you? Not too far up the ladder to call down a word or two to common, everyday mortals, are you? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 91 Ralph — I certainly hope not, Sam ! ( They shake hands. ) Sam (to Ruth) — And, doctor, I hear you've saved that Whitney boy from dying of hydrophobia! I must congratulate you! (Shakes hands with her. Evert/bod?/ looks surprised.) And, Ina, the world is surely using you well ! You look younger than you did the night we grad- uated — don't have any more of that stage fright now-a- days, do you? Ina (bores lozv) — No, thank you, Sam. I've learned a thing or two since then 1 Annabelle — Come to me, Mr. Simpson! (He goes to her, while the others converse together, apart.) What does such an exhibition of friendliness toward Dr. Ran- dolph mean, coming right on the heels of the undying enmity you just expressed.-^ I am astounded by your inconsistency ! Sam — Inconsistency? Not in the least, madam, not in the least! About fifteen minutes ago. Dr. Ruth Ran- dolph actually sent to my pharmacy, by a messenger, and purchased of me — paying for it in cold cash, mind you — exactly five cents worth of calomel. In view of this change in her usual attitude toward my establishment, I feel justified in entertaining the hope that our business relations in future may be on a more f ratenial basis ; and such being the case, I renounce the former prejudices with which I so justly and wisely considered her practice of her pro- fession in our city, and shall hereafter, if favored with such a fair share of her patronage as she has so gen- erously displayed on this occasion, be pleased to consider all differences of opinion as at an end between us ! 92 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Annabelle — Satisfactorily explained, I am sure, sir! Sam — And you appreciate my position? Annabelle — Most assuredly ! Ralph {who has been listening covertly) — Well, Sam also seems to have learned a thing or two since we left school. He's certainly acquired tlie gift of gab, which he didn't have then ! I remember he couldn't talk for cold mush ! John — He doesn't talk for cold mush, now — he talks for money. Edna — He used to be an insurance agent ! Ralph — That accounts for it ! Annabelle — And here we all stand like a crowd of school children ! Sam — Do you object to our particular manner of retaining a perpendicular position, Anna — er — Mrs. John Jacob — ahem — Johnson.'* The nature of the standing position does not give scope for much variety ! Edna — They may arrest us for blockading the streets next, and then we will all object! Ralph — Would they? Guy — Could they? Ina — Should they? Has the city no respect for the crimson and the blue? Ruth — Not a whit ! Dora — I must write a poem about that! THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 93 Ina — You still have the old dreams, then, Dora? Guy — Does she ? Horrors ! Do R A — Yes — "Sometimes the old dreams come o'er me, And the old visions surge through my brain, And I grasp at my pencil to catch them Before they have vanished again !" Guy {dryly) — Yes, that's true! (Sighs.) She does! Ralph — And the result, Dora? Dora (sighs) — "I find that, committed to paper, The thoughts are not what I suppose. And that I am by far more successful In composing — " All, (eagerly) — What? Dora — "The children some clothes !" Annabelle — So the poor old "bib pin" did come in handy after all ! Dora— It surely did ! Ted (runs in R.) — I forgot something my wife sent me for I I must have dropped it here — can't some one help me find it? (Is out of breath; very nervous.) Annabelle (looking, while all begin to search) — What was it, Ted? Ted — Oh, dear me ! dear me ! That's more than I know ! Can't you tell ? 94 THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. Ralph — Bless you, man, how could we? Soap, starch, bluing, tea, coffee, prunes — ? Ted — No — no — something to wear, I think ! Ralph— You've got me! I know notliing whatever about feminine wearing apparel ! Ruth (still looking) — Say, Ted, could they arrest us for blockading the street, if we stand here too long, all together ? Ted — Do you ask — professionally? Ruth — Why, yes, of course ! Ted — Well, then — no, I don't believe they could — as the city laws now stand ! Ruth — Thanks! (Greatly relieved.) Ted — One dollar, please ! Ruth (astonished) — For what? Ted — Legal advice, to be sure ! Ruth (opening purse, slowly, and giving him a dollar reluctantly) — I might have known he'd get that dollar back ! Trust a lawyer for that ! Ralph (down on all fours, searching floor) — But, Ted, do try and remember what we are looking for ! Ted (thinks a minute) — Oh, I do remember, now! It was ribbon^amount, one yard ; color, navy blue ; width, three inches ; texture, satin, with silk facing ; price, seventy- five cents ; merchant, Garland. Sam — Catalogued with attorney-like precision and sys- tematic form, I assure you, Ted ! ( Picks up small pack- age and hands it to him. ) Is this it ? THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE. 95 Ted {^greatly relieved)- — Oh, thank you, Sani, tliank, jou! Sam — Can it really be ten years since we were all at school together ? Ted (sighs) — Yes, Sam, ten years of penance — yet we all escape to tell it ! Annabelle {aside to Edna) — Has the poor kid really been married the whole ten years? (Edna nods.) Ted (looks at watch, whistles in surprise) — Whew! Fifteen minutes late, already ! What's left of me when 1 do get home, won't be worth writing a funeral notice for 1 Well, I might as well die for an old cow as for a calf, I suppose, so before I go, I propose that we just make this old street echo once more with the long-silent, but once so familiar and always unforgotten ring of our class yell. Ali^— Good for Ted ! Girls (yell) — Hurrah! hurrah! who are we? Boys (yell) — We arc alumni, dont' you see? Gmi^ — Where from? All — Blankville Pligh School, rah! rah! rah! Blankville High School, yah ! yah ! yah ! Push! Boost! Dig! Be seen! Blankville High School, 1913! (Wave hats and handkerchiefs as curtain falls.) (Curtain.) SEP 5 1912 NOTE. (The author of this play wishes us to state that she stands ready at all times and seasons to write to individual order, essays, orations, lectures, club papers, speeches, toasts, poems, songs, sermons, sketches, reviews and enter- tainments of all kinds. As the advertisement of her little institution puts it, "We write anything, on any subject, for any occasion^ Commencement and reference work a specialty. Her address is Goldfinch and Douglas Streets, San Diego, Cal., and a stamp will bring a complete catalogue by return of post.) (96) I TRRARY OF CONGRESS iiiPl 015 910 204 fi #