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CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
Ath*t/2/uZL 
 
Captain Lettarblair 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 Written for E. H. SOTHERN 
 
 By 
 MARGUERITE MERINGTON 
 
 Arranged from the prompt-book used in 
 the original Lyceum production 
 
 Illustrated with photographs of the play 
 
 INDIANAPOLIS 
 
 THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY 
 
 PUBLISHERS 
 
Copyright 1906 
 The Bobbs-Merrill Company 
 
 October 
 
 Published by Courtesy of Daniel Frohman 
 Owner of the Acting Rights 
 
 LIBRARY of CONGRESS 
 
 Two Conies Received 
 
 AUG 23 1906 
 
 Copyright Entry 
 
 OUiSSf OL XXc. No. 
 
 COPY B. 
 
 

 INSCRIBED WITH REGARD 
 
 TO 
 
 MR. & MRS. E. H. SOTHERN 
 
CHARACTERS 
 
 Captain Lettarblair Litton . Of the Irish Fusiliers 
 
 Dean Ambrose . An Eminent Divine of the Old School 
 
 Pinckney . The Dean's Private Secretary, afterward a 
 Subaltern in the Irish Fusiliers 
 
 Francis Merivale . A Country Squire, Suitor to Fanny 
 
 Mr. Seton ...... Fanny's Guardian 
 
 Lord Willougiiby . . .Of the Irish Fusiliers 
 
 Smithers . A Clerk in the Office of Seton and Catesby 
 
 Jorkixs . Servant to Lettarblair 
 
 Henry .... A Servant at the Deanery 
 
 Frances Hadden . . The Dean's Orphan Niece 
 
 Hyacinth Messiter . , . The Dean's Love 
 
 Polly Messiter „ Hyacinth's Niece 
 
ACT I 
 
 Morning Room at Beechwood " Loves Me?" 
 
 ACT II 
 
 (ONE WEEK LATER) 
 
 Litton's Quarters in Barracks at Southampton 
 "Loves Me Not" 
 
 ACT III 
 
 (SIX MONTHS LATER) 
 
 Scene i— Office of Seton & Catesby, Solicitors, 
 London 
 
 Scene 2 — By the Sun-Dial, in the Garden at 
 
 Beechwood, the Following Day 
 
 "Loves Me!" 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Page 
 
 E. H. Sothern as Captain Letlarblair Frontispiece 
 
 "Well, don't mind me!" 32 ' 
 
 " I can't get beyond the spell of your eves ! " 36 -- 
 
 " 'Tis a lady I'm addressing, not a letter ! " 40^, 
 
 " Merivale, you're a mind-reader ! " 46 ' 
 
 " And next the Dean will confide it to — The devil ! " — 58 
 
 " I represent Seton and Catesby, and I — " 96 ,• 
 
 " Well, then ? make it two-sixty ! " too 
 
 " Kitty Tyrrell knocked down to Lord Willoughby " 104 
 
 " Here's to having paid all I owe ! " 108 „ 
 
 " Why then, these are his rooms ! " 134 
 
 " Why, there's the handle !" 1 36 
 
 << Stand back ! " .138. 
 
 "You cur !" 148 / 
 
 " The Heir of Crawford may love me all he damn 
 
 pleases " 182 
 
 " Believe me, if all those endearing young charms " 190 > 
 
 " Oh, when he comes I shall say — I shall say — " 200 
 
 " Come-back-to-me Fanny ! " 202 
 
 " Hackneyed, but much better ! " 208 
 
YCEUM THEATRE- 
 
 NEW YORK THRATRECO., • 
 DANIEL FROHMAN, .... 
 
 PROPRIETORS 
 MANAGER 
 
 Thursday, October 22, 1891, at 2 P M. 
 
 SPECIAL AUmOR'S MATINEE 
 
 First presentation on any stage of a new Comedy, in Three Acts and 
 Four Scenes, entitled 
 
 LBTTAEBLAIE 
 
 Or, LOVES ME, LOVES ME NOT. 
 By- MARGUERITE MERINGTON 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR LITTON ("Royal Irish Fusiliers"). . .E. H. SOTHERN 
 
 DEAN AMBROSE, his uncle HARRY EYT1NGE 
 
 PERCIVAL PINKNEY, Dean's Secretary WRIGHT HUNTINGTON 
 
 FRANCIS MERIVALE, a neighboring Squire, suitor to Fanny , . MOR I ON SELTEN 
 
 MR. SETON, a lawyer, Fanny's trustee AUGUSTUS COOK 
 
 JORKINS, Litton s servant-* ' R. I. Fusiliers") ROWLAND BUCKSTONE 
 
 SMITH ERS, Mr. Seton's clerk., , PERCY SAGE 
 
 HENRY, Dean's servant .FRANK LEIDEN 
 
 FANNY HADDEN, Mr. Seton's ward VIOLA ALLEN 
 
 (Through counesy of Mr. Joseph JeffersonJ 
 
 POLLY MESSITER. the Dean's God daughter... JENNY DUNBAR 
 
 HYACINTH TvlESSITER, her aunt.,; ......KATE PATTISON-SELTEN 
 
 Time— The Present. 
 ACT I.— The Dean's house. Beechwood. " Loves me ?" 
 
 ACT II — Capt. Litton's quarters in the barracks at Southampton. " Loves me not." 
 ACT III.- Sc«ne i— Mr. Seton's office, London. Scene 2— The sun-dial, Beechwood. 
 
 Loves me. 
 
 Alas, how easily things go Wrong ! 
 
 A word unsung in a lover's song, 
 
 And trere cometh a mist and a blinding rain, 
 
 And life is never the same again." 
 
 Alas, how hardly things go right ! 
 A storm may come in a summer's night, 
 The stars will fade in the gloom awav, 
 And a summer's night is a winter's'day. 
 
 Scenery painted for this production bv Reg. Morgan. 
 Music oy Henry Huerner. 
 
 Every Evening and Wednesday and Saturday Matinee, E. H. Sothern and Company in 
 "The Dancing Girl." 
 
 *** The Stock Company of the Lyceum THEA7RB-will reappear for the regular Winter Season Novem- 
 ber 16. when the first of a series of ne.V plays will be presented. 
 
 Programme continued on next page. 
 
YCEUM THEATRE. 
 
 S^IE Y L ^0 T H H M E A A N TRECO ' "°SBSEfi 
 
 Commencing Tuesday, Aug. 16. 1892 Evenings 8 16 laiiBft SatMday it 2 
 
 SIXTH ANNUAL ENGAGEMENT (under the Management of DaNIBL FROHMAN) of 
 In a new Comedy, in Three Acts and Four Scenes, entitled 
 
 Capt. LETT ARBL AIR 
 
 By MARGUERITE MERINGTON, 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR LITTON ('* Royal Irish Fusiliers ')... .E. H. SOTHERK 
 
 DEAN AM BROSE. his uncle C P. FLOCKTON- 
 
 PERCIVAL PINKNEY, Dean's Secretary LAWRENCE CLARK 
 
 FRANCIS MERIVALE, a neighboring Squire, suitor to Fanny.. MORTON SELTEN 
 
 MR. SETON. a lawyer, Fanny's trustee CHAS A. SMILEY 
 
 JORKINS, Litton's servant (" R. I. Fusiliers") ROWLAND BUCKSTONE 
 
 SMITHERS, Mr. Seton's clerk TULLY MARSHALL 
 
 HENRY. Dean's servant FRANK LEIDEN 
 
 FANNY HADDEN, Mr. Seton's ward VIRGINIA HARNED 
 
 POLLY MESSITER, the D*an's God daughter JENNY DUNBAR 
 
 HYACINTH MESSITER, her aunt KATE PATTISON-SELTEN 
 
 ' itne — The Present 
 
 ACT I. — The Dean's house, Beechwood. "Loves me?" 
 
 ACT II. — Capt. Litton's quarters in the barracks at Southampton. " Loves me not." 
 
 ACT III.— Scene i— Mr. Seton's office, London. 
 
 (Intermission— thirty seconds.) 
 Scene 2 — The sun-dial, Beechwood " Loves me." 
 
 "AUs how easily things so wrong ! 
 A word unsung in a lover's song. 
 And ther- cometh a mist and a blinding rain. 
 And life is never the same again." 
 
 "Alas, how hardly things go right ! 
 A S'orm mav come in a summer's night. 
 The stars will fade in the gloom away 
 And a summer's night is a winter's day " 
 
 •»* The Stock Comoany 01 the Lycsum Thbatrk will reappear for the regular Winter Season 
 November 14. wben the first of a series of new plays will be presented. 
 
 Programme continued on second page following. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 ACT I 
 
 The interior of a well-furnished library in the Deanery at 
 Beechwood, near Southampton, England. It is evening of 
 an early spring day, and a grate fire throws a welcome glow 
 over the room, with its handsome dark red carpet partly 
 covered by three dark rugs, its large library table, a leather- 
 covered lounge, an upright piano, and several chairs of the 
 same heavy dark wood as the table. Two smaller tables 
 stand one at either end of the room ; books and ornaments 
 are lying about on the tables; several palms stand in con- 
 venient niches, and the piano is littered with music sheets. 
 The room presents an aspect of comfort and orderly dis- 
 order. 
 
 The Dean, a man of deliberate manner and fatherly be- 
 nignity combined with a childlike ingenuousness, is seated 
 on a sofa a little at the left, with his friend Mr. Seton, a 
 lawyer of the old-school type. Pinckney, a volatile and im- 
 petuous youth, is seated at the table, writing; Polly, spright- 
 ly yet practical, leans over his shoulder. The Dean is poring 
 over a railway guide. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Handing time-table to Seton. 
 
 This is the best train to take, if you must leave 
 us, Mr. Seton. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Thanks for your hospitality, Dean; but I must 
 
 go- 
 Reads. 
 
2 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Urn — urn — five — six — Limited Express. This A- 
 B-C is very confusing. 
 
 Gives back time-table. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Rising. 
 
 'Tis easy as A-B-C. 
 
 Polly 
 To a man of letters ! 
 
 Pinckney takes the time-table from the Dean. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Well, I must be on the move. Has the evening 
 
 mail come in yet? I expect some important 
 
 letters. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Goes to the window, followed by Pinckney. 
 
 We'll watch for the post-bag. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Pinckney ! Go on with your writing, sir ! 
 
 Pinckney returns to the table. 
 
 Pinckney 
 Yes, Dean ! — I'm sorry I promised to copy this 
 
 rubbishy sermon. 
 
 Aside, impassioned. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 3 
 
 Oh, Fanny, I did it to be near thee ! 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 And I must say good-bye to Fanny — and to 
 Litton, too. What has become of them? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Fanny is riding with Captain Litton, as usual ! 
 
 Laughs. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 As usual Captain Litton is riding with Fanny ! 
 
 With jealousy. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Suddenly interested. 
 
 Aha! 
 
 Dean 
 
 That reminds me, Mr. Seton, I have something 
 to say to you in the strictest confidence. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Reading copy. 
 " — of the problem novel which, like the noxious 
 weeds that choke the garden with their pestilen- 
 
4 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 tial growth — " Oh, humbug! Polly, two s's in 
 pestilential ? 
 
 Polly holds up one finger. 
 
 Dean, have you ever read this problem novel? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Certainly not ! How dare you insinuate that I 
 encourage such literature ? 
 
 Pinckney resumes writing. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 To Dean. 
 
 You were about to say — ? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Speaking of my niece Fanny, the responsibility 
 of her marriage rests with you, as her guardian 
 and trustee — 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 — and with you as her nearest living relative. But 
 is there any present question of Fanny's marriage ? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Apparently. She has many suitors, some of 
 whom will not take no for an answer. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 5 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Some of them will have to. But, pray, who are 
 these wooers ? 
 
 Dean 
 
 To begin near home, there's Pinckney. He's a 
 good boy, though he hasn't any brains to speak of., 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Has been listening. Rises. 
 What's that, Dean ? 'Tis quality, not quantity, 
 that counts. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Reproving. 
 Pinckney ! 
 
 Polly puts Pinckney back in seat and goes be- 
 hind chair. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Surely you would not think Pinckney a suitable 
 match ? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Who has listened. 
 Indeed I should, but not for Fanny ! 
 
 Polly goes to the conservatory. 
 
6 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Dean 
 And there is young Merivale. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 What account can you give of Merivale? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Only what he gives of himself, — and that is ex- 
 cellent. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Shakes his head. 
 
 H'm ! Wise men keep their accounts to them- 
 selves. 
 
 Dean 
 
 And there is the latest comer on the field, our 
 young Irish kinsman, Lettarblair. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 Does Fanny show any preference, think you? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Yes ! I am afraid the wind blows off the coast 
 of Ireland. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 7 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Pleased. 
 Capital ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 You surprise me, Seton ! We know nothing of 
 the young man. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Your pardon, Dean ; I know everything. And 
 in confidence, I have a strong reason for hoping 
 he will marry Fanny. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Surprised. 
 
 Really! You have never hinted at any such 
 reason. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Because reason is fatal to women and love af- 
 fairs. If the young people come together it must 
 be from choice. But a great wrong will be right- 
 ed if we join their hands. 
 
 Dean 
 
 I am glad to know this, because Merivale has 
 pressed his suit most vigorously since Litton's 
 
8 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 advent — and I have encouraged him. He is a 
 neighbour — 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Writing. 
 
 "Let us love our neighbours." Oh, humbug! 
 
 Throws down pen in disgust. 
 
 Polly 
 
 At window, speaking to Dean.- 
 
 Godfather, here is Aunt Hyacinth crossing the 
 
 garden. She said she would come for a game of 
 
 whist with you. Mr. Seton, do you believe in 
 
 marriage ? 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Always, Polly, except when I have to help in 
 the undoing of it. 
 
 Polly 
 And, Godfather, don't you believe in it? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Oratorically. 
 Assuredly, my flock — I mean, Polly — else how 
 could I solemnise the rite? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 9 
 
 Polly 
 
 Her arm around Dean's neck. 
 Then why don't you do it yourself? 
 
 The Dean is embarrassed. Polly laughs. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Entering. 
 Good evening, friends! 
 
 Dean and Seton both advance to meet her. 
 Mr. Seton laughs, Dean embarrassed. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Your servant, Miss Messiter. You find us two 
 old bachelors discussing marriage. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Sentimentally. 
 
 Ah, marriages are made in Heaven ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 At table. 
 
 Sometimes they get no further ! 
 Dean 
 
 Embarrassed. 
 Pinckney, attend to your writing, sir ! 
 
io CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 At window. 
 There's the post-bag ! Let's get the letters ! 
 
 Rushes off. 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Anything for a change ! 
 
 Runs off after Polly, who leaves by the win- 
 dow. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Miss Hyacinth, will you be my partner — may 
 I offer you a hand ? 
 
 Miss Hyacinth appears embarrassed. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Quizzically. 
 
 The Dean offers you his hand ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Hastily explaining. 
 
 At whist. 
 
 Takes Hyacinth's hand, pauses, turns. Hya- 
 cinth proceeds to card-table. 
 
 I forgot to say, Mr. Seton, that Merivale will 
 be here presently for his answer. 
 
 Hyacinth and Dean bring card-table to foot of 
 sofa. Dean gets chair, places it at card-table. 
 Hyacinth gets one from above door. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR n 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Consults his watch. 
 I'll give him his answer. 
 
 Enter Pinckney and Polly, carrying letter-bag. 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Here we are. Letters for everybody of every 
 kind and quality. Red letters, dead-letters, capi- 
 tal letters, love-letters, bills and billets-doux. 
 
 Slaps letter-bag on the table, scattering papers 
 front of table. 
 
 Polly 
 Oh, Godfather, see all your notes go flying! 
 
 Hyacinth dealing cards. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Pinckney! Such carelessness is inexcusable; 
 all my "thoughts" are scattered to the winds ! 
 
 Dean takes letter from Pinckney. 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 We'll collect your scattered thoughts. 
 
 Polly kneels front of table, picking up papers. 
 
12 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Dean 
 Look at "fourteenthly" lying on the floor ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 Here's "sixteenthly" ! Sweet sixteenthly! 
 
 Dean 
 Pinckney ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 And here are your "Last Words," Dean. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Gives letters to Seton. 
 Pinckney ! Mr. Seton, sir, your mail. 
 
 Enter Merivale. 
 
 Dean 
 Good evening, Mr. Merivale. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Good evening, Dean. 
 
 Nods to others. Merivale places cane on piano. 
 Dean takes zither from head of sofa and 
 places it on table. They talk apart a minute 
 while Mr. Seton reads letter, 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 13 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 
 Reading letter to himself. 
 
 "Come immediately, matter cleared up about 
 John Robinson's will and Crawford estate. " 
 Good! Now if only the young people will have 
 the sense to fall in love with each other — ! 
 Good! 
 
 Dean motions Seton, who comes up. Dean pre- 
 sents Merivale' to Mr. Seton. They shake 
 hands stiffly. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Holds up letter in yellow envelope. 
 
 Here's a letter for Captain Lettarblair Litton, 
 care of Dean Ambrose, Beechwood. I'd like to 
 know what's inside it ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Turns from Mr. Seton and speaks over his 
 shoulder to Pinckney. 
 
 A bill, no doubt. 
 
 Pinckney 
 It looks bilious. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Throws Litton's letter on table. Takes out his 
 own letter — blue envelope. 
 
14 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Dean 
 
 Behind sofa. 
 
 Pinckney! How dare you comment on a 
 guest's private correspondence! Come and join 
 us at the card-table, sir. 
 
 Hyacinth seats herself on foot of sofa. 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Waving official blue envelope. 
 
 Hurrah ! From the Horse Guards — War Of- 
 fice ! Hurrah ! I've received my commission. 
 
 Polly joins him, leaning on his shoulder. 
 
 Dean 
 
 If your faults of commission are equal to your 
 faults of omission, I'm sorry for the British 
 
 army, sir. 
 
 Dean and Hyacinth bring card-table forward 
 a little. Dean, Hyacinth, Pinckney and Polly 
 sit down to cards. Merivale appears to take 
 idle interest in the game, while Seton medi- 
 tates. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 Won't Mr. Seton take a hand? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 15 
 
 Seton 
 
 With a smile and a sigh. 
 
 Ah, Madam, solitaire is the only game I play! 
 Solitaire ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 At cards. 
 
 One, two, three, four, and kiss the Dean — I 
 mean the dealer, Miss Hyacinth ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 In a flutter. 
 Oh, I really must be excused ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Angrily. 
 
 Pinckney, sir! How dare you — er — secularise 
 whist ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Sitting on edge of table, addresses Seton. 
 
 My attachment for your ward is deep and sin- 
 cere! 
 
 Polly 
 
 To Pinckney, at cards. 
 Some people don't know a heart from a club ! 
 
16 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Even if I myself may not win Fanny, I grieve 
 to see her thrown away! 
 
 Seton 
 Thrown away! How so? Upon whom? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 The Irishman, of course! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Among a certain class of Englishmen it is a 
 habit to look with suspicion upon all Irishmen, 
 but — 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Interrupting. 
 
 Oh, I own to a distinct insular prejudice 
 against — 
 
 Seton 
 
 Interrupting. 
 
 Insular, Mr. Merivale! Must I remind you 
 that Erin also is an island, and not — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 17 
 
 Merivale 
 
 — a distinct British — prejudice, I should say, 
 against adventurers ! 
 
 Goes to mantel and leans elbow on it. 
 
 I happen to know something of Litton's private 
 affairs. They are written in three letters : I O U ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 You mistake, sir! True, the captain is bur- 
 dened by a heavy debt — 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Debts — which he hopes to discharge by mar- 
 riage with an heiress ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Which debt he is honourably discharging ! Nor 
 is 
 ther- 
 
 was the obligation of his incurring. His fa- 
 
 Merivale 
 
 I remember ! Old Litton's criminal folly near- 
 ly wrecked the Crawford Bank. No wonder Lit- 
 ton starves himself to hush up the story. 
 
1 8 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 At cards. 
 Trump at all, trump high ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Litton might publish the story and be proud of 
 it. His father died under the shadow of the gen- 
 eral belief in his guilt. His partner, his friend, 
 the only man who could have cleared his name, 
 was silent. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 John Robinson, you mean. Since he is dead 
 he will remain silent. 
 
 Polly 
 There's a knave for you ! 
 
 At cards. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Ah, the dead sometimes speak ; and we old 
 lawyers are their confidants. My visit to the con- 
 tinent is to receive such a message. 
 
 Rises, looks at watch. 
 
 Come, Mr. Merivale, time presses, but in view of 
 your disinterested attachment to my ward — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLA1R 19 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 At cards. 
 Tis his only good card ! 
 
 Mr. Seton 
 — let me assure you that Captain Litton is no 
 adventurer, but a highly honourable gentleman. 
 
 Putting on glove. 
 
 Although he could contest it, for his father's 
 sake he is paying off the debt to the Crawford 
 estate from the revenues of his Irish property. 
 His means are only temporarily straitened; so 
 pray dismiss the thought that Miss Hadden will 
 throw herself away if she chooses to marry him. 
 
 Polly 
 Aha ! You're beaten ! 
 
 At cards, claps hands. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Beaten ? Not yet ! 
 
 Enter Henry. 
 
 Henry 
 
 The carriage is ready, sir ! 
 
 The card-players rise. Pinckney puts card- 
 table aside and goes to window. Hyacinth 
 
20 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 joins Polly. Dean goes to screen, taking 
 overcoat with cape, shovel hat and scarf. 
 Hyacinth assists him to put these on. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Consulting watch. 
 
 By Jove, I must be off ! 
 
 Holds out hand to Merivale. 
 
 Thank you, Mr. Merivale, for taking a no in 
 such good part ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Shaking hands with Seton. 
 Don't mention it ! — 
 
 Aside. 
 
 since a no from the guardian is not a no from 
 the ward ! 
 
 Seton discovers he has forgotten glove ; re- 
 turns to table for it. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Now, Mr. Seton, sir ! Time-tables wait for no 
 man! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Speaking outside. 
 
 Take Gypsy's saddle off, John! Mr. Seton — 
 Entering by the window, left. 
 Where's Mr. Seton ! Oh, guardian — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 21 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Rapturously. 
 
 Fanny ! Would I were thy guardian ! 
 
 Goes out, gazing at Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 Oh, I was afraid I shouldn't catch you ! 
 
 Running to Seton. 
 
 Seton 
 
 My dear Fanny, I'm afraid I shall not catch 
 my train ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Clinging to Seton. 
 
 Just one word, guardian! 
 
 Whispers. 
 
 Don't frown when I tell you — I have written to 
 the office for some money! I have a pressing- 
 need of money! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Indulgently. 
 
 Extravagant little girl! For bonnets, I sup- 
 pose ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Bonnets, indeed! For something whose fash- 
 ion never will grow old ! 
 
22 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Seton 
 God bless my soul ! Bonbons, no doubt ! 
 
 Fanny 
 Oh, no ! Something infinitely more sweet ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Well, well, I haven't been near the office for a 
 month — gout and external legal complications, 
 
 but- 
 Disengaging himself. 
 
 my partner, Mr. Catesby, will have attended to it ! 
 Pinckney 
 
 Appears at the door, bringing Seton's hat and 
 coat. 
 
 Come, Mr. Seton! Trains don't allow for the 
 law's delay! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Detaining Seton. 
 
 Then you don't mind? Then I may have all 
 the money I want ? 
 
 Seton 
 
 Certainly ! I don't suppose you want much ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 23 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside, laughs. 
 Not much ? Only a small fortune ! 
 
 She meets Merivale in front of table and greets 
 him. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Shaking hands with Mr. Seton. 
 
 Good-bye, Mr. Seton. I trust your sojourn on 
 the continent will restore your health. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Thank you, Dean. I trust it may also clear the 
 reputation of an honest man. 
 
 Fanny runs to overtake him, calling, "Guar- 
 dian — one word." 
 
 Exeunt all; Fanny teasing; Seton expostulat- 
 ing, others saying "Good-bye." All but Meri- 
 vale follow Seton to the door. Chorus of 
 "Good-bye, bon voyage," etc. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Alone. 
 
 Is there no getting rid of the fellow? Con- 
 found him! She'd have cared for me in time if 
 he hadn't come by with his brogue and his uni- 
 form. Even his debts are encircled with a halo 
 of romance. Debts ! I've as many debts as Lit- 
 
24 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 ton if people did but know it. But I incurred my 
 debts on my own account, like a man, instead of 
 saddling myself with other people's, like a don- 
 key. 
 
 Goes into conservatory as Polly enters, wav- 
 ing her hand and calling good-bye to Mr. 
 Seton. 
 
 Fanny follows Polly. Merivale stands within 
 conservatory, unseen by them. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Noticing letter-bag. 
 Anything for me to-day, Polly ? 
 
 Polly 
 Yes, indeed. 
 
 Picks up Litton's letter and reads. 
 
 "Captain Lettarblair Litton." 
 
 Fanny 
 What do you mean, Polly ? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Dropping letter on table and leaning over 
 Fanny. 
 
 Isn't he for you — to-day and always ? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, Polly! What makes you think I care for 
 him? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 25 
 
 Polly 
 
 Coming to Fanny's side. 
 
 Why, your cheeks mount colours as red as his 
 uniform at the very mention of his name. See 
 there, now! 
 
 Kneels by Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Kisses Polly. 
 Chaffingly. 
 
 Oh, Polly, I do !— 
 
 Polly 
 Then, dear, what is the obstacle ? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Why do people say such things of him ? Why 
 did my grandfather leave me such a lot of 
 money ? 
 
 A little pause. 
 Francis Merivale tells me that Lettarblair plays. 
 
 Polly 
 That's nice — since you sing! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Plays cards, I mean. Is extravagant, and has 
 a heap of horrid debts. There was a queer-look- 
 
26 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 ing man asking for Lettarblair this morning. 
 Francis Merivale said it was a bailiff. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Francis Merivale ought to know the look of 
 one. Well, you're so rich, why don't you pay 
 Lettarblair's debts for him? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Polly — I'll tell you a secret. Promise you'll 
 never tell. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Never ! S'help me ! 
 
 Crosses her heart. Merivale, in conservatory, 
 holds curtain aside and listens unseen. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I'm going to give Lettarblair some of my 
 money. 
 
 Polly 
 
 With yourself? 
 
 Fanny 
 No, first! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 27 
 
 Polly 
 Oh, but he would never take it from you. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 He won't know it comes from me. I told my 
 bankers at Southampton to send Lettarblair an 
 order on his bank — the Bank of Burmah in Lon- 
 don — saying it was part payment of an old debt 
 to his estate, and that the remainder would short- 
 ly follow. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Oh! would Mr. Seton let you spend your 
 money that way? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I'm afraid he wouldn't, if he knew. But Mr. 
 Seton has been away from his office, ill, so I 
 wrote to his partner for the money. There is an 
 old debt to my grandfather's property, the Craw- 
 ford estate. The people are paying it off year by 
 year. Well — I wrote to Mr. Catesby to make 
 them pay it all at once. He got half the money 
 from them, ten thousand pounds. I told him to 
 press them — squeeze them for the rest. I must 
 have it. I want it all — for Lettarblair ! 
 
28 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 Counting her fingers. 
 
 Ten thousand pounds plus ten more thousand 
 pounds ! Do you love Lettarblair twenty — thou- 
 sand — pounds' worth ? 
 
 Opening eyes in amazement. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, Polly ! The sum of it can not be told ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 It is be-eautiful! Just like "Once upon a 
 
 time!" 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Looking at Litton's letter. 
 
 "Bank of Burmah." Polly- 
 Rising, delighted. 
 
 I do believe — it is — it is ! This is the letter that 
 gives fortune to him, and him to me ! 
 
 Kisses letter. 
 He must find it here when he comes in ! 
 
 At back of table; replaces letter in bag. 
 
 He will find he is suddenly rich — then if he comes 
 to me — I shall know it is from love and not ne- 
 cessity ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 29 
 
 Litton 
 
 Outside, sings with Irish accent. 
 
 "Gin a body kiss a body, need a body cry !" 
 
 Polly 
 
 "Gin a body — " Oh, Fanny, did Lettarblair 
 do that? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Indignantly. 
 As if I would let him ! 
 
 Polly 
 As if he would wait for permission ! 
 
 Fanny 
 As if he would dare ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 As if he wouldn't! As if you wouldn't like 
 him the better for his daring ! 
 
 Fanny 
 Polly, you horrid girl ! 
 
 Polly and Fanny run into the conservatory. 
 
30 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Advancing, keeping the piano between himself 
 and them. Aside. 
 
 Aha! Then Fanny is Lettarblair's mysterious 
 creditor, and she is squeezing him for money to 
 pay his own indebtedness! 
 
 Laughs. 
 
 That's why old Seton favours his suit ! Book- 
 keeping made eas} 7 ! Balancing debit and credit 
 side of the account by marrying them ! 
 
 Takes Litton's letter from table. 
 
 Ten thousand pounds! It's an age since I've 
 handled such a sum ! 
 
 Weighs letter in hand, then holds it up to light. 
 
 There's something about money — the mere con- 
 tact with it engenders a feeling of prosperity ! 
 Why the mischief did I pose as a man of means ! 
 But who'd have thought a girl would take it into 
 her head to fall in love with poverty ! And the 
 deuce of it is — even now if I persuade her to 
 marry me and Litton gets this money — 
 
 Starts guiltily on hearing Fanny's voice, drops 
 letter. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 31 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Ah, Polly, they don't know him as I do! 
 While we were riding he spoke to me — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Outside, sings. 
 
 "Gin a body meet a body, comin' thro' the rye, 
 Gin a body kiss a body, need a body cry ! 
 Every lassie hae her laddie — " 
 
 During this Merivale debates with himself in 
 pantomime whether he shall steal Litton's 
 letter, finally succumbing to the temptation 
 and pocketing it as he goes out. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Outside. 
 
 "Yet all the lads they smile at me, 
 When comin' thro' the rye !" 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Slowly approaching. 
 
 I will not bind myself to him till I have proved 
 him to them all ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Who has peeped in at Fann}', now runs down 
 to her and kneels before her. 
 
 Fanny — I — I love you ! I've been copying 
 
32 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 those beastly sermons all day to get a chance to 
 tell you! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Moves away. 
 
 Oh, Mr. Pinckney, are you proposing to me 
 again ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Following her on his knees. 
 
 I was trying to — but — it seems a movable 
 feast ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Walks on. 
 
 Ah, don't ! You know I have but one answer 
 to give you ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Who has been peeping in from conservatory, 
 amused. 
 
 Persevere, Percival ! If at first you don't suc- 
 ceed, try, try, again ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 On his knees. 
 
 Fanny — I love you ! 
 
■Hi 
 
 ■■■■i 
 
 r 
 
 "■# 
 
 jfc ' 
 
 Act I 
 
 " Well, don't mind me!" Page 33 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 33 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Having been talking to herself about Lettar- 
 blair, returns, almost falling over Pinckney. 
 
 Oh, Mr. Pinckney, are you still proposing to 
 me? 
 
 Moves away, Pinckney still following on his 
 knees. Enter Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 Ah! At your devotions, Pinckney, darlin' ? 
 Well, don't mind me ! 
 
 Puts hat, etc., on card-table. 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Rising angrily. 
 
 I don't mind you, sir! 
 
 Fanny goes up, laughing, and joins Polly. 
 
 Litton 
 Then don't be making angry faces, Pinckney, 
 
 dear! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Captain, I should like to propose to you — 
 
 Advancing angrily on Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, Pinckney, darlin', it's breath wasted and 
 thrown away to propose to me ! 
 
 Polly runs to Pinckney, restraining him. 
 
34 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Sir, you are not the only soldier in the world ! 
 
 Waving his commission. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Faith, if I were, 'tis the Colonel I'd be, not the 
 Captain ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Drags Pinckney to the door. 
 
 Never mind, Percy ! You proposed very nice- 
 ly — only it was to the wrong girl ! 
 
 Pinckney goes out majestically, followed by 
 Polly, mocking him. 
 
 Litton 
 "Gin a body kiss a body need a body — " 
 
 Goes to Fanny, who is standing by the sofa, 
 and tries to put his arm about her waist. 
 
 Fanny 
 Don't ! You are taking a liberty ! 
 
 Freeing herself. 
 
 Litton 
 Fanny, I'm your captive — and liberty's the 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 35 
 
 sweetest thing a captive can take! Fanny, what 
 would you have? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Sighs. 
 I don't know ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Again tries to put an arm about her. 
 
 Try me! 
 
 Fanny 
 Don't ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sure a soldier must win his way by force of 
 arms, Fanny! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Goes to table. 
 What do you take me for? 
 
 Litton 
 For better or worse, if I can get ye ! 
 
 Throws glove on table. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Gaining time. 
 
 Why do you talk to me this way ? 
 
 Soft music is heard : "Believe me, if all those 
 endearing young charms." The twilight 
 wanes. 
 
36 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Taking both Fanny's hands. 
 
 Fanny, how else should I talk to you — though 
 it's content I'd be to sit and look at ye! Fanny, 
 I love you ! I love you without rhyme, because 
 I'm not a poet ; and I love you without reason, 
 since it passes calculation ! Fanny, I love you 
 every way and always — and it's your heart I'm 
 trying to read ; but I can't get beyond the spell 
 of your eyes ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Leans against table, laughing and playing with 
 her riding-crop. Turns her face from, him. 
 
 You say these things so aptly — as if you had 
 said them before ! 
 
 Lttton 
 
 Impressively. 
 Fanny, I have ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Petulantly turning on him. 
 
 Then how dare you say them to me ! 
 
 Litton 
 Fanny, it is to you, and to you alone, I have 
 
I can't get beyond the spell of your eyes ! " Page j6 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 37 
 
 said them ! — Come, don't trifle with me ! — If it's 
 yes, 'tis yes; and I'm the happiest man in the 
 world and the luckiest ! 
 
 He lays a hand on hers. She puts it from her 
 and moves away. 
 
 And if it's no, 'tis no— and off I go to India ! 
 Fanny 
 
 Turns to him, pleading. 
 
 Ah, no ! Not that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Taking her hand. 
 Then give me an answer, dear heart ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 With deep feeling. 
 How can I be sure that you love me as you 
 
 say! 
 
 Litton 
 
 With confidence. 
 
 Marry me, sure ! 'Tis the only way to find out ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 She attempts to turn away from him. He pre- 
 vents her, holding her left hand and fond- 
 ling it. 
 
 Wait till to-morrow ! 
 
38 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Ah, Fanny, yesterday you said, "To-day," and 
 to-day you say "To-morrow !" And the nearest 
 to-morrow is a year away when a man cares for 
 a woman as I care for you ! Do you want me to 
 beat about the bush for twenty years, like Uncle. 
 Ambrose, till the roses have withered and youth 
 gone by ? — Give me at least some hope ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Deeply touched, yet withdrawing her hand. 
 
 Have faith instead! 
 
 Litton 
 
 With spirit. 
 
 * 
 
 Faith ! The evidence of things not seen ? Faith, 
 not I ! If I have to feed my starved heart on a 
 cardinal virtue I'll take charity — for that means 
 love ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside. 
 Oh, where's my courage! 
 
 Turns and speaks to Litton. 
 
 Wait! 
 
 She leans on mantel, tapping lightly with 
 crop, hardly trusting herself to speak. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 39 
 
 Litton 
 
 Wait, wait! — How can I go about with a 
 weight on my heart ! — Fanny — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Goes to table, picks up letter-bag and feels in it. 
 
 Did you know ? There is a letter for you. 
 Litton 
 
 Feels for her hand inside letter-bag. 
 
 Fanny, 'tis a lady I'm addressing, not a letter! 
 - — Fanny, how much longer am I to wait? And 
 what is it we're waiting for? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Smiles mysteriously. 
 
 Some time to-day! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Impatiently. 
 
 It's some time to-day this very minute ! It has 
 been some time to-day ever since last night. 
 Fanny, my regiment is under marching orders ; in 
 a week we're off to India. I want to know my 
 fate now that I may have a whole week to realise 
 my happiness; to feel that a jewel of a heart is 
 
40 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 beating for me when I am far away; that sweet 
 eyes are watching for my letters; and a sweet- 
 heart awaiting my return ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 But you might have a change of heart, you 
 know ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sure a change of heart is just what I'm after ! 
 I've given you mine, and I want yours in return ! 
 
 Fanny gets handful of letters from bag, looks 
 them over — throws them on table — turns 
 away — leans on arm-chair; says nothing, but 
 seems to be distressed. 
 
 Fanny, dearest, something distresses ye! What 
 is it? Surely you don't doubt my love for you? 
 As the old song says : 
 
 "If she loves me, this believe, 
 I will die ere she should grieve." 
 Only I'd rather live with ye than die for ye ! 
 Fanny, is it a burden? Let me bear it for you. 
 Is it a sorrow ? Let me share it with you. Come, 
 sweetheart ! 
 
 He draws her to him and is about to kiss her, 
 when she breaks away. 
 
* 
 
 'Tis a lady I'm addressing, not a letter ! " Page jq 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 41 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside. 
 I will not yield! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Ah, Fanny, Fanny, what is the shadow that 
 has come between us ? 
 
 Merivale is seen crossing in the rear. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Indicates Merivale as she sees him approach- 
 ing. 
 
 Francis Merivale! 
 
 Litton 
 I'll tell him he's come to> the wrong house. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside, detaining him. 
 No — no — tell him I'm engaged for a minute. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Turns, seizing her hand. 
 
 I'll tell him you're engaged for all time to me. 
 
 Kisses her hand. 
 
42 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 No! No! 
 
 Enter Merivale at arch, as if about to take his 
 cane from piano. 
 
 Merivale 
 Ah, good evening-, Litton. 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Confound the fellow ! Here as usual. 
 
 Litton 
 Good morrow to ye, Merivale. 
 
 Divvle take him. 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 With difficulty concealing emotion. 
 
 I'm just going to the stable to give Gypsy 
 
 some sugar. 
 
 Exit, agitated. 
 
 Merivale 
 I hope you're not put out by my arrival. 
 
 Litton 
 Your arrival? Whose rival are ye, Merivale? 
 
 Appears to be going. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 43 
 
 Merivale 
 Going? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Changing mind about going. 
 
 Yes — to stay ! 
 
 Goes to sofa — sits. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Sorry to have disturbed your tete-a-tete, but 
 Miss Hadden sent for me on business, so, of 
 course, I fly to her feet. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fly to her feet. Gone into the shoe business, 
 have you, Merivale? You'll make a capital cob- 
 bler. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 As usual, you entertain yourself at my expense, 
 Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 
 'Tis all I get at your expense, Merivale. 
 Merivale 
 
 Rises and bows with elaborate irony. 
 I have not your advantages, Captain Litton. 
 
44 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Imitating Merivale. 
 
 You're a beautiful creature, Mr. Merivale. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Sits again. 
 I know I'm slow. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sits again. 
 Ah, don't abuse yourself behind your back. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 But a hare and a tortoise once ran a race, my 
 dear Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 
 It's the affectionate creature ye are, my dear 
 Merivale ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Getting excited. 
 
 At the end of the race, my dear Litton, your 
 hare — 
 
 Slaps table. 
 Where was your hare ? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLA1R 45 
 
 Litton 
 
 Slapping table. 
 
 On a head, Merivale, dear, where my hair 
 grows. Did ye want a lock of it ? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Leaning on the table, hand under chin. 
 Litton, you don't like me ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Imitating Merivale. 
 
 Merivale, you're a mind-reader ! 
 Merivale 
 
 Folds arms on table. 
 Well, Litton, do you like me ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Imitating Merivale. 
 
 Merivale — I do not. 
 
 Merivale 
 Why? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Oh, I don't know ! You're too big*. 
 
 Merivale 
 Oh! 
 
46 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 You take up too much room. 
 
 Merivale 
 Ah! 
 
 Litton 
 
 And — Merivale, I don't like your clothes. 
 
 Merivale 
 Perhaps you object to my visits here? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, Merivale, dear, they're like your man- 
 ners ; there's a lack of finish about them. 
 
 Merivale 
 Anything more ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 I'll write to ye about it. But you're always in 
 the way, Merivale ! 
 
 Merivale 
 Ah, we are rivals ! 
 
o 
 c^ 
 
 a> 
 g. 
 
 5' 
 
 -I 
 
 n> 
 
 a- 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 47 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, you're full of fun, ain't you? 
 
 Merivale 
 But I am first in the field. 
 
 Litton 
 Merivale, that's the proper place for a farmer. 
 
 Merivale 
 You're no farmer, so it's not the place for you. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Merivale, you wealthy darlin' ; if I had your 
 money I'd go abroad in a minute for the good of 
 my country. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Aside. 
 Ah, it is the money, is it ? 
 
 Aloud. 
 Fanny will never marry a miserable beggar. 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, now, don't despair, Merivale ! I don't ! 
 
4 8 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Slaps breast. 
 
 At any rate no interested motives enter into 
 my breast, my clear Litton ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sings derisively. 
 
 "Ah, there's not in this wide world a Merivale 
 so sweet, 
 As the Merivale in whose bosom such sinti- 
 ments meet !" 
 
 It grows gradually darker. Fanny and Polly 
 enter through conservatory, bringing roses. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 To Polly. 
 
 Oh, he has not read his letter. We must give 
 him a chance to read his letter ! 
 
 Addressing Merivale. 
 
 Francis, we are going to fill the vases. Won't 
 you come and help us ? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 With triumphant look at Litton. 
 With pleasure! 
 
 As Fanny turns she drops a rose. Both lovers 
 strive to get it. Merivale, succeeding, laughs 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 49 
 
 mockingly, swinging the blossom in front of 
 Litton as he follows Fanny. 
 
 I'm afraid you're left out, Litton! 
 Litton 
 
 Quietly, capturing the rose. 
 
 God bless you, Men vale! 
 
 Merivale makes an angry gesture, as if to strike 
 him. 
 
 Fanny 
 We will leave you to your letters ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Striving not to appear neglected. 
 At any rate I have your rose ! 
 
 Fanny 
 And my rose has thorns ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Then shall I know it is Fanny masquerading 
 as a flower! 
 
 Fanny and Merivale go out. Litton crosses 
 rather disconsolately to the large arm-chair 
 by the fire. Polly, who has been an amused 
 spectator in the background, goes toward 
 door. 
 
50 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 Softly to Litton. 
 
 Never mind, dear Lettarblair! She loves you! 
 
 — She loves you ! 
 
 Goes out. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sits gloomily by fire. 
 All — she loves me not ! 
 
 The Dean enters, humming a tune. He looks 
 about, and, seeing no one, speaks to himself, 
 meanwhile taking off hat, scarf and overcoat, 
 placing these on back of arm-chair so that 
 they fall over Litton. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Most exciting! — If the young person in the 
 College Library had not had to hunt up Fox's 
 Martyrs for me — ! Happening on the fiction shelf 
 to notice a copy of the offending work — 
 
 Takes novel from pocket, looks at it dubiously. 
 
 I casually — er — quite casually — It looks innocu- 
 ous ! And yet — by rights it should be cast into 
 the fire — and yet — I have a mind to — I trust I 
 shall be undisturbed. Everybody, I trust, is occu- 
 pied ! 
 
 Looks about ; goes up, gets screen and places 
 this about head of sofa. Goes toward door 
 and draws curtain over it. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 51 
 
 Fanny, no doubt, is out with Lettarblair or Meri- 
 vale; Merivale or Lettarblair! 
 
 Fetches palm from table and, stooping, sets 
 this in front of sofa. As he rises, his head 
 strikes the palm, and he exclaims, startled. 
 
 Pinckney! — Ah, how stupid of me! Pinckney is 
 buried in sermons! — Not that I shun observa- 
 tion- — 
 
 Strikes match, lights candle, and sets this on 
 piano. 
 
 Still, if found, I might be misunderstood, 
 thought too advanced; a convert to views of life 
 of which I prefer to remain in ignorance, or which 
 I peruse only to abhor ! 
 
 Opening book, with a long breath of comfort, 
 lies on sofa so as to be screened from view. 
 The room is dark except for the firelight. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Lifting hat and overcoat. 
 His mantle has fallen on my shoulders, and all 
 his imperfections on my head! Alas, poor Yor- 
 ick! 
 
 Smithers enters, looking about for some one. 
 Litton sees him, and, agitated, gets behind 
 the chair, putting on the Dean's hat, coat 
 and scarf to disguise himself. Then, seiz- 
 ing a book from the mantel-piece, he sinks 
 down into the chair as if absorbed in reading, 
 coughing. 
 
52 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 There's that infernal Smithers from Seton and 
 Catesby's! The devil fly away with him! — I'll 
 wager he's got a warrant for some ridiculous 
 trifle — and I shan't have a penny till quarter-day ! 
 — Ahem ! Ahem ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Turns and sees Litton. 
 
 Eh ? The hold gent ! — Beg pardon, your Rev- 
 erence, but I want to see Captain Litton ! 
 
 Litton coughs and mumbles, affecting not to 
 hear. Hyacinth enters, and, seeing Litton, 
 mistakes him for the Dean. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Rapturously. 
 
 His sainted and never-to-be-mistaken head! 
 Smithers 
 
 Stepping down front. 
 The hold gent's deaf! Ahem! Beg pardon, 
 your Reverence, but is Captain Litton — 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Prodding Smithers in the back with her para- 
 sol. 
 
 Hush ! How dare you disturb the meditations 
 
 of this holy man ! 
 
 Pointing to Litton. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 53 
 
 Smithers 
 Beg pardon, Madam, but is Captain Litton — 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Prodding Smithers toward door. 
 In the garden ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Going. 
 Beg pardon, Madam, but I honly came to col- 
 lect a bill ! 
 
 Exit. Hyacinth takes a chair and places it 
 near Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Peeping over back of arm-chair ; aside. 
 
 'Tis Hyacinth, the Dean's beloved ! 
 
 He sinks back as Hyacinth turns, and again 
 reads. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Sitting and patting skirts into place, then fold- 
 ing hands demurely. 
 
 Forgive this worldly interruption to your pious 
 meditations, Dean ; but I have taken this liberty — 
 I have come because I desire to see you on a mat- 
 ter of the greatest importance, Dean — and alone! 
 
 The Dean is heard to snore slightly. 
 
54 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 He's asleep! By the Rock of Cashel I'll pro- 
 pose to her for him, the blessed old dried lav- 
 ender saint! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 I have that to say which is almost too delicate 
 for words! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aside. 
 The darlin' old soul, she's like the perfume of 
 faded rose-leaves ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 I have come to tell you the story of a young 
 girl's love! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aside, interested. 
 
 If she isn't going to do the wooing herself! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Where for myself I should die silent, another's 
 suffering has made me bold — and that other, our 
 darling, Dean; your niece, Dean; my godchild, 
 our Fanny! 
 
CAPTAIN LETT ARBL AIR 55 
 
 Litton 
 
 Exclaiming, amazed, then coughing again in 
 imitation of the Dean. 
 
 Fanny! Ahem! Ahem! Hem! 
 Hyacinth 
 
 With concern. 
 Dear, dear, that cough of yours ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aside. 
 'Tisn't mine! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 But about Fanny. As you know, Dean, I have 
 watched her, loved her ever since on Sundays I 
 taught her her little hymn. 
 
 Litton 
 Faith, I'm her little Him ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 And now our rose-bud has blossomed, and 
 many have discovered that she is fair, Dean. Our 
 Fanny has many suitors. One — Merivale — is 
 rich, a neighbour. All have hoped — you yourself 
 have hoped that she would learn to care for him ! 
 
56 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 She needn't. The divvle will ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 But man proposes — 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Sighing. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aside. 
 
 All, sometimes he's a long time about it, dar- 
 lin'! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 And Fanny loves Lettarblair Litton ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Amazed, overjoyed, tosses up his book. It falls 
 upon the Dean, who is heard to waken with 
 an exclamation. 
 
 Glory, hallelujah! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Surprised at the supposed Dean's excitement. 
 
 I assure you, Dean! I had it from Polly! If 
 only Fanny could be persuaded that the Cap- 
 tain's love is disinterested — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 57 
 
 Litton 
 Faith, I'll do the persuading myself ! 
 
 Rushes at Hyacinth and kisses her with a re- 
 sounding smack. At the moment the Dean s 
 face, wearing a horrified expression, appears 
 above the screen. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Running in, pen in hand. 
 
 Oh, Dean ! How do you spell — 
 
 Breaks off, with a surprised whistle, seeing 
 Hyacinth in the supposed Dean's embrace. 
 
 Dean 
 Pinckney ! How dare you suppose — 
 
 Breaks off and ducks behind screen. 
 
 i 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Not seeing Dean. 
 
 By — Jove ! 
 
 Exit, whistling. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Detaching herself. 
 
 Oh, Dean! Oh, dear, I really must be going! 
 —Farewell, beloved!— He has declared himself 
 at last ! 
 
 Runs off, leaving her parasol. 
 
58 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Coughs, imitating the Dean, till she has gone, 
 then bursts into laughter. 
 
 She loves me, bless her wayward little heart! 
 Fanny loves me ! Then why the devil didn't she 
 say so ! Goodness knows I've asked her times 
 enough ! Oh, but she has doubts of my charac- 
 ter — thinks I love money, maybe! Just as if I'd 
 ever been intimately enough acquainted with it 
 to squander my affections on it ! But, bless her 
 
 Sits, smiling beatifically. 
 
 wayward little heart, all the same she loves me ! 
 Girls are queer creatures, though ! I love Fanny; 
 
 Rises and moves about. 
 
 I go tell it to Fanny! Fanny loves me; and 
 Fanny tells it to Polly ; Polly mentions it to Hya- 
 cinth; Hyacinth communicates it to the Dean — 
 The Dean again appears above the screen. 
 And, next, I suppose, the Dean will confide it to — 
 Breaks off, catching sight of the Dean. 
 
 The devil ! — My dear sir ! How are ye ! Take a 
 hat, won't you ? First-rate thing after a nap ! 
 
 Tosses hat to Dean. 
 

 And, next, the Dean will confide it to — The devil ! " Page 58 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 59 
 
 Dean 
 
 With great dignity, still standing on sofa, be- 
 hind screen. 
 
 Thank you, Lettarblair! I was about to 
 trouble you for it ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 No trouble at all ! Take a coat ! 
 
 Tosses the Dean his overcoat, then sits in high 
 chair, laughing. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Enraged. 
 
 Now, sir, perhaps you will explain your prepos- 
 terous conduct ! 
 
 He advances threateningly on Litton, who leaps 
 up and protects himself with a chair. 
 
 You have taken a base advantage of my innocent 
 and intellectual slumbers to — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Seizing the hand with which the Dean is ges- 
 ticulating. 
 
 Uncle Ambrose! I want to put a question to 
 ye ! Do you love your niece ? 
 
6o CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Dean 
 I do ! Assuredly I do ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Now, that's a remarkable coincidence — for so 
 
 do I — and I know, dear Uncle Ambrose, that you 
 
 love me! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Well, Lettarblair, I— 
 
 Litton 
 
 So to save ye the trouble of distributing your 
 affections you shall make us one! 
 
 Shakes the Dean's hand rapturously. 
 
 Dean 
 You mean — ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Interrupting. 
 
 I do ! You grasp it perfectly ! Then I have 
 
 your permission to address her? Not that I've 
 
 waited for it ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Doubtfully. 
 
 Ahem ! I must consider — I must communicate 
 with Seton. I must — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 61 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Entering, looks about. 
 My parasol — I left it — 
 
 Dean 
 
 Not seeing Hyacinth. 
 To-night, at eight o'clock, in my library, Lit- 
 ton, you shall satisfy me as to your circumstances, 
 and your general — er — desirability to become 
 my — 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 My parasol ! — Oh, there — ! 
 
 Looking about, finds parasol. Seeing Dean, 
 runs to him, and, throwing arms about him, 
 kisses him fondly. 
 
 Beloved ! 
 
 Runs coyly off. The Dean, dumfounded, sinks 
 into chair, while Litton laughs at him. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Recovering breath. 
 
 This is all your fault, Lettarblair ! Words can 
 
 not describe — Words are inadequate — inadequate ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Imitating a kiss. 
 
 Aye ! Actions speak louder than words ! 
 
62 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Dean 
 
 Enraged, rising. 
 
 It is scandalous, sir ! Scandalous ! 
 
 Waves the novel he holds, then suddenly be- 
 comes conscious of it and tries to conceal it. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Seizing the novel. 
 
 Scandalous it is! Oho! No wonder you're 
 ashamed ! Get along with you, you rascal ! 
 
 Pushes the Dean toward door. 
 
 Dean 
 Dear, dear! Misfortunes never come single! 
 
 Litton 
 'Tis because you're single they come! I con- 
 gratulate you on your approaching marriage ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Horrified. 
 
 What, sir! You don't mean to imply that the 
 
 contract you so audaciously entered into in my 
 
 name is — 
 
 Litton 
 
 The lady sealed the contract ! 
 
 Imitates a kiss. 
 
 Oh, but you're done for entirely ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 63 
 
 Dean 
 
 And I — who am so opposed to change ! After 
 an attachment of twenty years — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Another year and it would be of age — and then 
 
 where are ye ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Pathetically, wringing hands. 
 
 I have been kissed ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Pulling Dean toward door. 
 
 'Tis the devilish Romeo ye are ! 
 
 Dean 
 I have been kissed ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Throwing scarf about the Dean's shoulders. 
 
 Don Juan was a duffer to ye ! 
 Dean 
 
 Hurrying, trying to conceal novel. 
 
 I have been kissed ! Oh, Lettarblair ! tem- 
 poral mores! I have been kissed — kissed — 
 
64 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Cheer up, ye fallen angel ! 
 
 Dean 
 Kissed ! 
 
 Exit. 
 
 Litton 
 
 I'll speak to Fanny to-night! One minute I'm 
 led to think she loves me — the next she loves me 
 not ! — But I will know to-night — 
 
 Henry enters, bringing lamp, which he sets on 
 table. He restores the screen to its place, 
 then exit. 
 
 — to-night, for I love her more than — 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Enters with a letter, salutes. 
 
 Are you here, Captain? 
 
 Litton 
 Use your eyes, you old duffer! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Calls me "hold duffer!" Lord love 'im! Just 
 like 'is father! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 65 
 
 Litton 
 What are you wanting? 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 This letter, Captain ! — I was at the smith's with 
 Kitty Tyrrell. She had a shoe loose, Captain. 
 The smithy is by the station — and hearing a 
 young man who'd come down from London say 
 he didn't know where to find you to deliver this, I 
 brought it myself ! 
 
 Litton 
 Well, hand it over, you old slow-coach ! 
 
 Snatching letter. 
 JORKINS 
 
 Salutes. Admiringly, aside. 
 
 Calls me "hold slow-coach," God bless 'im! 
 Just like 'is father ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Absently. 
 
 Loves me — loves me not — 
 
 Jorkins 
 Quite so, sir ! Beg pardon, sir, but the young 
 
65 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 man said it was from the lawyer's, so I galloped 
 all the way from the village — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Wrathfully. 
 
 The devil you did, on my precious Kitty Tyr- 
 rell ! Go walk her about till she cools off, then 
 give her a bran mash with a glass of whisky in it, 
 you old scoundrel ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 Yes, sir! 
 
 Admiringly aside. 
 
 "Hold scoundrel!" Just like 'is father! — I'll give 
 the mare the mash, and take the whisky myself! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Has read letter. Overcome. 
 
 My God ! What does this mean ? 
 
 Jorkins 
 Hany answer, sir? 
 
 Litton 
 Jorkins, I'm a beggar ! 
 
 Salutes. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 67 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Naturally, sir! 
 
 Salutes. 
 
 Hany other hanswer, sir ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Answer? No! It's fate, I suppose— and fate 
 is unanswerable! At any rate she's a woman, 
 and always has the last word ! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Saluting. 
 
 Did you say I was to say that, Captain ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 I am trying to make you understand, you old 
 fool, that you can tell the young man I will go up 
 to town at once, and settle the whole of the beg- 
 garly business ! Pack up, and make short work 
 of it! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Saluting. Goes toward door. 
 Very well, sir. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Calls after him. 
 Oh, and Jorkins, look well after Kitty Tyrrell ! 
 
68 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Yes, sir. Called me hold fool, 
 
 Salutes and goes, laughing to himself indul- 
 gently. 
 
 God bless 'im ! Just like 'is father ! 
 Litton 
 
 Alone, refers to letter. 
 
 "Our client, the Heir of Crawford, instructs us 
 to press you for a full and immediate payment of 
 your debt to the Crawford estate. We inclose 
 statement of particulars, showing the amount of 
 your indebtedness at ten thousand pounds — " 
 
 Breaks off, repeating. 
 
 Ten thousand pounds ! 
 
 Continues. 
 
 "Should you want to contest the claim — " 
 
 Breaks off, crushing letter between hands. 
 
 Ugh ! Who wants to contest their dirty claims ! 
 Every acre of the land that I possess, every far- 
 thing- of the money that I don't, is theirs, so that 
 my father's honoured name be cleared ! Poor old 
 Dad, it killed him! Well, I'm harder to kill, as 
 every one who has done it has found out ! 
 
 Looks at letter. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 69 
 
 Confusion take the Heir of Crawford! I was 
 paying it off as quickly as I could! We should 
 have been quits in five years, or less ! 
 
 Again looks at letter. 
 
 "Your obliged and obedient servants." Faith, 
 the obligation isn't on my side. Why don't they 
 sign themselves "Your oblig-ed and obedient exe- 
 cutioners" ? Words — words — words ! Let's see : 
 who was it remarked that same ? — Hamlet, 
 
 Moves about, sits on piano stool, leaning elbow 
 on keys with discordant clash. 
 
 or some other gentleman, like myself, reduced by 
 family afflictions to philosophy! — Words? Hard 
 lines, rather; for, being translated, it means Sell 
 out ; Pay up ; Hand over — Everything ! In effect, 
 Captain Litton, you aren't a bit better off than the 
 street-sweeper to whom a few minutes ago you 
 threw a light-hearted sixpence ! Mustn't give him 
 any more sixpences ! How would it feel, I won- 
 der, for him to throw me one ! 
 
 Turns to piano, striking notes. 
 Rising, takes coin from pocket, tossing and 
 catching it, singing. 
 
 "Here's to my sixpence; my jolly, jolly sixpence! 
 Here's to the sixpence I love as my life ! 
 
70 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Here's a penny for to spend, and a penny for to 
 
 lend, 
 And fourpence to take home to my poor young- — " 
 
 Breaks off with sudden remembrance, and 
 sinks into chair. 
 
 Good Lord ! — Fanny ! How can I meet her now, 
 especially after what it seems they say of me! 
 How can a fellow ask a girl to marry a beggar! 
 And Fanny, of all girls ! My poor little Fanny ! 
 
 Merivale enters and stands watching Litton as 
 the latter sits with bowed head. 
 
 I only hope she doesn't care for me — for I love 
 her far too well to break her heart ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 You look blue, Litton ! 
 
 Litton 
 Blood will tell, Merivale ! 
 
 Sneering.' 
 
 Raising his head. 
 
 Merivale goes up to conservatory and stands, 
 leaning on piano, watching. Fanny enters at 
 window, followed by Hyacinth, who seats 
 herself at piano and plays softly. Polly en- 
 ters. They are all dressed for dinner. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 71 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Lingering near window, watching Litton. Hap- 
 pily. 
 
 He has read his letter. He has come into his 
 kingdom ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 To himself, letter in hand. 
 
 Contest the debt and compromise? Old Seton 
 said it was perfectly feasible ! — Stop a bit ! What 
 am I thinking of! I promised my father on his 
 dying-bed! — On the one hand, faith to my dead 
 father, and the honour of his name — and on the 
 other, my means, my land, and my hope of win- 
 ning Fanny — which to me means more than life ! 
 
 With resolution. 
 And honour turns the scale ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 To herself, playing with a leaf of the palm. 
 
 To-night, if he loves me really I shall know it ! 
 —Ah, if—! 
 
 Litton 
 
 To himself. 
 Ah, Fanny! If only I dared speak to you! 
 
72 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Tis well, perhaps, that you have feared to bind 
 your life to mine! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 To herself. 
 To-night I shall be the happiest woman in the 
 world — ah, if — ! 
 
 Buries her face in the roses she carries. 
 
 Litton 
 
 To himself. 
 
 And yet — if she were a different kind of 
 woman — if she would entrust her sweet life to 
 my keeping — if she were poor as I, I could work 
 for her with these two hands ; we could be happy 
 — ah, Fanny — if — ! 
 
 He turns, and, seeing Fanny, rises impulsively 
 as if to go to her. She moves as if to hold 
 out her arms to him. Then, suddenly con- 
 scious of the letter in his hand, he turns away 
 and sinks into the chair, his back toward her, 
 trying to disguise his emotion. Fanny, be- 
 wildered, seems ready to break down, but, 
 catching sight of the look of triumph on 
 Merjvale's face, restrains herself. Hyacinth's 
 music rises to a crescendo. Litton covers his 
 face with the hand that holds the letter, and 
 the roses drop from Fanny's grasp. 
 
 CURTAIN 
 END OF ACT I 
 
ACT II 
 
 The interior of Captain Lettarblair Litton's quarters in 
 barracks at Southampton, one week later. The place is 
 partly dismantled, showing evidences of confusion and pack- 
 ing, and also the signs of recent festivities. A large supper- 
 table stands in the middle of the floor, littered with the 
 remains of a supper; bottles and glasses are standing about; 
 a wine-cooler and a large silver tankard are on the floor. 
 At the right is a window with cushioned window-seat ; be- 
 yond this a door. At the back a curtained opening leads to 
 an inner room. To the left is another door. Near the 
 window stands a small table with a saddle on it. A red 
 waistcoat lies on the mantel-piece ; a sword hangs on the 
 wall. By the door on the left is a small desk littered with 
 papers and boxes of cigars. On the floor to the right stand 
 a portmanteau and tin uniform-case marked "Captain Let- 
 tarblair Litton, First Battalion Irish Fusiliers." Fishing- 
 rods, fur coat, pipes and miscellaneous articles add to the 
 general disorder. A streak of sunlight, coming between the 
 closed window-curtains, falls across the table, revealing 
 Pinckney in mess uniform, seated with his back to the audi- 
 ence, his head on the supper-table, in a heavy sleep. Jorkins 
 is heard in the inner room singing, "The hour was sad ; I 
 left the maid, A lingering farewell taking. Her sighs and 
 tears my steps delayed ; I thought her heart was breaking ! 
 In hurried words her name I blessed ..." Soon he en- 
 ters, a pile of Litton's clothes over his arm and Litton's 
 busby on his head ; pauses to look at Pinckney with a head- 
 shake, then throws the clothes over a chair-back, blows out 
 the candles that, though almost burnt down to their sockets, 
 are still alight ; and draws the window curtains, letting in a 
 flood of sunshine. 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 "In hurried words her name I blessed ; 
 I breathed the words that bind me ; 
 I to my heart in anguish pressed 
 73 
 
^4 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Folds and packs clothes, taking whisky flask 
 from pocket of one garment, holding it up to 
 light and sighing on finding it empty. 
 
 The Girl I left be'ind me !" 
 
 Takes off busby, presses it to heart before pack- 
 ing it. 
 
 Smitiiers 
 
 Entering cautiously by door on the left. 
 
 Where is Cap — 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Looking up from packing. 
 Now, young man, who may yon be, pray? 
 
 Smitiiers 
 
 I'm Smithers, from the office of Seton and 
 Catesby, come to collect a bill from Captain Lit- 
 ton. Where is he ? 
 
 Crossing to the right, stumbles over bottles, 
 stubbing toes, and exclaiming. 
 
 Ouch ! Where's Captain Litton ? 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 I'm not giving information to-clay, Mr. Smith- 
 ers! 
 
 Aside. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 75 
 
 I'd like to punch 'is 'ead! Looks for all the 
 
 world like a bit of red tape 'isself ! 
 
 Enter Litton in smoking-jacket, pipe in mouth, 
 papers in hand. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aside, seeing Smithers. 
 Hullo ! My friend Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Very loud, to Jorkins. 
 Where is he, I say! 
 
 Litton 
 Mr. Smithers, you're a nuisance ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 With importance. 
 
 I'm the law ! 
 
 Same thing! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Suddenly catching sight of Pinckney, rushes at 
 him and shakes him. 
 
 Ah! I've caught you at last! — What's the 
 matter with him! Come, sir! Will you kindly 
 
76 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 wake up and pay me the ten thousand pounds you 
 owe to the Crawford estate? You promised to 
 pay to-day! It's eleven now, and we are in- 
 formed that you purpose leaving England at 
 noon! — Come on, no trifling! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Sings drowsily. 
 
 For a frozen corpse was he!" 
 
 Litton 
 
 Ha, ha, ha ! You'd better be careful, Mr. 
 Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Frightened. 
 Is he armed? 
 
 Litton 
 To the teeth ! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Indicating Smithers and restraining himself 
 with difficulty. 
 
 I'd like to punch 'is 'ead ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Shouts in his sleep. 
 
 "Charge, Chester, charge!" 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 77 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sorting papers at desk. 
 
 Hear him say charge ? He's dreaming of a 
 
 lawyer ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 To Litton, deferentially. 
 
 What 'd you advise me to do, sir ? 
 
 Litton 
 I should advise you to get out, Mr. Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers hesitates. 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Shouts savagely, clutching the air. 
 
 "Now could I drink hot blood !" 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Hurrying toward door on the left. 
 
 I'll call again, when he ain't so thirsty ! — 
 You've no idea how hard it is to get money from 
 this Captain Litton ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Oh, yes, I have, Mr. Smithers! I've tried it 
 myself — and I can't get a penny! 
 
 Nods to Jorkins, who laughs. 
 
;3 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Smithers 
 Is he a friend of yours, sir? 
 
 Litton 
 Sure, but he is — a friend in need! 
 
 Smithers 
 He's a precious blackguard ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Infuriated. 
 
 God knows I've abused him often enough my- 
 self, but I'll not hear anybody else do it, Mr. 
 Smithers ! 
 
 Shaking fist at Smithers. 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Oh, I s^y! — I'll call again! 
 
 Exit hurriedly. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Waving clothes-brush. 
 
 I'd like to punch 'is 'ead ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Waking. 
 
 "For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 79 
 
 good fellow. He's a jolly good — " Hullo! — I 
 
 thought I was in bed ! 
 
 Rising, sits on edge of the table, with feet on 
 arm of a chair. 
 
 Litton 
 Bed ! Bed for a soldier, indeed ! Ha, ha ! No, 
 my boy! You've done the proper thing! You 
 camped on the cold, cold supper with your mar- 
 tial cloak around ye! When every one had said 
 good night this morning I found ye fast asleep 
 on the table, snoring a love-song to the game pie ! 
 I hadn't the heart to wake ye, so out I went for 
 a gallop over the downs and a plunge in the sea 
 in your stead ! Look at me, you dissipated ruf- 
 fian, you ! I'm fresh as a daisy ! 
 
 Exit into inner room. 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 A daisy, indeed ! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Lord love 'im ! A daisy ! Just like 'is father ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 I don't believe I shall ever feel like a daisy 
 again ! 
 
 Tries to walk. 
 
80 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Jorkins, what's the matter ? Why are my legs so 
 'fended with one mother, won't walk same side 
 of way! 
 
 Jorkins 
 Supper, sir ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 Supper ? 
 
 Jorkins 
 Champagne, sir ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 Why supper ? Whose champagne 
 
 Saluting. 
 
 Puzzled. 
 
 Saluting. 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Captain Litton's farewell dinner at the mess 
 last night, and supper 'ere, in our rooms on top 
 of it! Champagne a-flowing like — champagne! 
 Toasts proposed ! Glasses a-cl inking ! Cries of 
 " 'Ear, 'ear !" Your recitations ! Oh, Lord, 
 them recitations! — 'Ealths drunk to the valiant 
 officer and gallant gentleman wot's leaving our 
 midst ! — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 81 
 
 Litton 
 
 Appearing. 
 Jorkins ! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Yes, Captain? 
 
 Litton 
 Shut up ! 
 
 Throws a pair of top-boots that he carries to 
 Jorkins, and exit. 
 
 Jorkins 
 Yes, Captain ! 
 
 Catches the boots and packs them in tin box. 
 Picks up the silver tankard, polishes it on his 
 sleeve lovingly, while talking in a hoarse 
 whisper to Pinckney. 
 
 And this 'ere 'andsome piece of silver as a mo- 
 mentum of the love of the officers of the regi- 
 ment, God bless 'im ! — A bloomin' loving-cup ! 
 
 Sets the tankard down on floor. 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Ah, I remember now! He has left the regi- 
 ment, and I have joined it ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 Aye, sir ! More's the pity ! 
 
82 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Sharply. 
 
 Eh! What's that? 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Saluting. 
 
 I mean, more's the pity he has left it, sir ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 I embark for Bombay at noon — 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 It's past eleven now, sir! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Leans head on arm, heavily. 
 — and at noon he starts for Arizona ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 And I a-packing up his kit for the last time ! — 
 Lordy, it's a sad day when the pride of the regi- 
 ment 'as to sell out his uniform and take to cattle- 
 raising ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Entering. 
 
 Jorkins ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 83 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Salutes. 
 
 Yes, Captain? 
 
 Litton 
 Shut up ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Yes, Captain ! But I do feel like a orphan ! 
 
 To Pinckney, in a hoarse, impressive whisper. 
 
 — Sell 'is uniform and take to cattle-raising! 
 
 Litton takes a waistcoat from the mantel, 
 throws this to Jorkins, who catches it and 
 packs it in tin box. 
 
 All right, Captain ! Lots of room in your kit ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Glad to know I have lots of anything in my 
 kit, Jorkins! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Holding up the fur coat. 
 
 Will you wear this, Captain — or shall I pack 
 it? 
 
 Litton 
 
 No. As the currency of the realm has given 
 
84 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 out we'll throw what's left us to the sharks ! — 
 
 Let's see, now. To whom do I owe the worth of 
 
 a coat ? 
 
 Refers to bills. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 A coat would seem naturally to revert to a 
 tailor ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Taps Pinckney on head. 
 
 'Tisn't his figure, my boy, so it hardly would 
 be fitting, d'ye see ! Here's a small sum owing to 
 the daily paper. 
 
 Hands a bill to Pinckney, who passes it on to 
 Jorkins. 
 
 Tell the fellow the coat will keep up his circula- 
 tion ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Taking fishing-rods from under saddle. 
 
 This here fishing-gear, sir — ? 
 
 Pinckney 
 Spare the rod ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 85 
 
 Litton 
 Not at all ! Use it to tackle the shoemaker ! 
 
 Checking off bills. Jorkins drags tin box into 
 inner room. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Takes a soda-water bottle and a corkscrew 
 from table. Sits in window-seat. 
 
 How about Johnson, the hatter ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Oh, we've choked him off with the contents of 
 the wine-cellar! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Lucky dog! 
 
 Litton 
 Hm ! He seemed rather mad ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Appearing with a statue of Venus. 
 Haberdasher sent back the Venus, Captain! 
 He was mad as the hatter! Said he wouldn't 
 take her in payment because she was broke! 
 
86 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, now, haberdash it all, I sent her in pay- 
 ment because I was broke ! 
 
 Jorkins guffaws. 
 
 He needn't have been annoyed with her, poor 
 dear ! Seeing she's quite armless! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Lord forgive 'im ! 'Armless ! Just like his 
 father! — I'll give her to the charwoman! 
 
 Goes out with statue. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Consulting note-book. 
 
 Now let's see where we stand ! — Amount due — 
 ten thousand. In hand from mortgage on Glen- 
 murra — my little bit of land Glenmurra — 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Entering. Sadly. 
 
 Glenmurra ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sale of stocks, bonds, personal effects — nine 
 thousand eight — two hundred to be raised before 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 87 
 
 noon ! — But where to raise it ! Jorkins, you beg- 
 gar, where shall I get two hundred pounds ? 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Hesitates, to make sure that Pinckney does not 
 hear. 
 
 Captain — I served your father before I served 
 
 you — 
 
 Again hesitates. 
 
 — You've both of you called me "hold idiot" 
 often enough! — But — 
 
 Again makes sure that Pinckney does not hear. 
 
 — I've always been sensible enough hold idiot to 
 put by a little something for a rainy day! — Cap- 
 tain — 
 
 More hesitation. 
 
 ■ — I've got over three hundred pound ! 
 Litton 
 
 Removes pipe from mouth. 
 
 Jorkins ! 
 Yes, Captain? 
 Shut up! 
 
 Jorkins 
 Litton 
 
 Sternly. 
 
88 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Hurt. 
 Yes, Captain! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Suddenly seizing Jorkins by back of neck. 
 
 Do you think, you dear, sensible old idiot, that 
 I'd borrow the umbrella you have put up with so 
 much trouble, and leave you to get wet through 
 in your old age ? Why, I — I — 
 
 Shaking Jorkins gently to conceal emotion. 
 
 Jorkins 
 Captain ! 
 
 Litton 
 Well, Jorkins? 
 
 Jorkins 
 Excuse the liberty, Captain, but — shut up! 
 
 Litton, moved, grasps Jorkins' hand and turns 
 away. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 At window, opens bottle with loud report and 
 fills a glass. 
 
 Ah ! Litton, have you the time ? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 89 
 
 Litton 
 
 Exchanging a meaning glance with Jorkins. 
 The time, is it ? 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 About to drink, pauses. 
 What, isn't your watch going? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Stooping, picks up plate and bottle from floor 
 and sets them on table. 
 
 Gone! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Commiseratingly. 
 
 Phew ! 
 
 Drinks. 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 And his studs — and his pictures — and his — 
 everything ! 
 
 Throws topcoat over arm, lifts portmanteau 
 from corner and sets it on the chair, flinging 
 the coat over it so that Litton's name is con- 
 cealed. 
 
 'E's got nothing left now except me and the 
 mare Kitty Tyrrell ! 
 
9 o CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Placing chair by the desk. 
 
 Poor dear Kitty, I thought I might contrive to 
 keep her — but 'twill be all I can do to keep myself 
 going, without a horse ! Come, boys ! Lend a 
 hand with this! 
 
 Takes hold of supper-table to move it, Jorkins 
 assisting. Pinckney runs to help. They talk 
 while carrying table into inner room. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Sighing. 
 Everything a-going — even the mare ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Trying to conceal emotion. 
 
 My beautiful — ! Ah, as the old song says, 
 " 'Tis money will make the mare to go !" 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Poor old chap ! Well, you ought to get a good 
 price for her ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 I'd sooner get her a good master! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 91 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Macdowell wants lier badly 1 
 
 Litton 
 
 Macdowell can stay wanting her! He'd ride 
 her to death inside a week, my precious Kitty! 
 Besides, she'd never put up with his language ! 
 
 Enter Smithers, left. 
 
 Smithers 
 I'll nab him this time, sure as — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Seeing Smithers, makes a rush at him and 
 pushes him out. 
 
 Ah, look at him now, will ye 
 
 Smithers 
 Sir, I come from the office of — 
 
 Litton 
 The devil ye do ! 
 
 Struggling. 
 
 Bangs door and holds it. 
 
 Jorkins, come and help me keep out the insolence 
 of office till I've raised two hundred pounds! If 
 
92 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 I set eyes on him again I shall kill him for a dead 
 certainty ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Running to the door and leaning against it. 
 
 And serve him jolly well right! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Doing the same. 
 
 Blooming right ! 
 
 Litton 
 Two hundred — 
 
 Running to door right. Seizes hat from saddle, 
 in passing, and sticks it on back of head. 
 Catching sight of Willoughby, pauses at win- 
 dow. 
 
 There's Lord Willoughby! I'll make him buy 
 the mare ! — Willoughby ! — Now Blarney befriend 
 me ! — Here, Willoughby ! 
 
 Calls from window. Leaps into saddle. 
 
 Willoughby 
 
 Outside. 
 
 Hullo, dear boy ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Beckoning. 
 
 Come over here! I want to whisper to ye! — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 93 
 
 Lord, Willoughby, if it's the pace that kills you'll 
 live to be immortal ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Outside, knocks, and forces door open. 
 You open this door, or I'll — 
 
 Litton 
 Don't let him in ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Forcing door open. Pinckney and Jorkins 
 thrust him out. 
 
 Here ! You — 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Leaning against door. 
 
 Bolt the door! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Leans against door. 
 
 There ain't no bolt, sir! 
 
 Litton 
 
 I say, Willoughby, don't you want to buy my 
 Kitty Tyrrell? 
 
94 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Selling the mare ! He'll sell me next ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 He'd have to give you away ! 
 
 WlLLOUGHBY 
 
 Hm ! "Why, do you want to sell her ? 
 
 Outside. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Eh ! What ! Want to ! Is it I ?— I need the 
 money ! How much will you give ? 
 
 WlLLOUGHBY 
 
 Don't think I want to buy a horse. 
 
 Litton 
 
 What, don't think you want to buy a horse? 
 But I know you do ! Would ye ride to the wars 
 on a donkey? 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Forces door open. 
 I insist — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 95 
 
 PlNCKNEY AND JORKINS 
 
 Turning, close door, wedging Smithers' head 
 in. 
 
 Do you, now ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Half-strangled. 
 
 Ow! 
 
 Litton 
 
 To Willoughby. 
 
 Never mind him ! Only an impudent rascal of 
 a lawyer's clerk ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 In strangled tones. 
 
 Captain Litton, I insist on seeing you 
 
 Litton 
 Well, haven't ye any eyes in your head ? 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Ha, ha, they'll pop out in a minute ! 
 Smithers 
 
 Thrusts left hand in. 
 Are you Captain Litton ? 
 
96 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Faith, I'm a speaking likeness of him! 
 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 I represent Seton and Catesby and I — 
 
 Shouts as Jorkins strikes down his hand and 
 kicks him out. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Eh, Willoughby? Send him about his busi- 
 ness? I'm his business at the minute! — So I will, 
 dear boy, as soon as you pay me for the mare! 
 How much do you bid ? 
 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 I say — 
 
 Pushes door open with such force that Pinck- 
 ney and Jorkins are thrown forward on to 
 the desk. He braces door open with hands 
 and feet, leaning back against frame. 
 
 I'd have you know, sir, that my time's worth 
 money ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Right you are ! So's mine. That's why I sold 
 my watch! 
 
I represent Seton and Catesby, and I—" Page q6 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 97 
 
 JORKINS AND PlNCKNEY 
 
 Turning on Smithers, Jorkins striking down 
 his hands. 
 
 Out with him! 
 
 They slam the door and hold it. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, Willoughby, name your price! What's 
 that I hear ! One hundred and fifty — 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Disgusted. 
 
 One hundred and fifty for a mare like that! 
 Why, her tail's worth the money ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 You're daft, my boy ! It's worth that to look 
 at her ! I want you to have her, Willoughby, be- 
 cause you'll treat her well ! I know you of old, 
 Willoughby ! You'd take the bit from your own 
 mouth to put it into your horse's ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 With feeling. 
 That he would, bless him! 
 
9 8 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Come, make it two hundred ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 In despair. 
 
 Two hundred for a mare like that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Two gentlemen behind me are bidding at fast 
 
 and furious rates ! 
 
 Aside to Pinckney and Jorkins. 
 — Bid, hang you ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Rushing about, excited. 
 
 Six 'undred — 
 
 Litton 
 Six hundred — 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Lifts up a chair and sets it down with em- 
 phasis. 
 
 If I 'adit! 
 
 Litton 
 Six hundred — going at six hundred ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 99 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Running forward. 
 
 A thousand ! 
 
 Litton 
 A thousand ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 If I could beg, borrow, or steal it ! 
 
 Litton 
 A thousand I am bid ! Going at a thousand — 
 
 As Pinckney leaves the door Smithers stum- 
 bles in with a jerk. 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Angrily. 
 Drat it ! 
 
 Recovers balance and advances. 
 
 Litton 
 
 — At a thousand ! 
 
 Sees Smithers. 
 
 Ah, Mr. Smithers ! What do you bid ? 
 Smithers 
 
 Angrily shaking his cane. 
 I bid you pay this money, sir ! 
 • r C. 
 
ioo CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Ha, ha ! Look at the repartee of him ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY AND JORKINS 
 
 Seize Smithers and run him. He blocks his 
 own exit with cane ; accordingly they pull 
 him back a few steps. 
 
 Ha, ha ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Three hundred to you, Willoughby, and 
 Smithers thrown in ! 
 
 JORKINS AND PlNCKNEY 
 
 They throw Smithers out and slam door, then 
 lean against it. 
 
 And Smithers thrown out ! 
 
 Litton 
 Well, then, make it two-sixty! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Two-sixty for a mare like that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Come, now, you know you're getting her for a 
 song! 
 
 Outraged. 
 
Well, then, make it two-sixty ! " Page ioo 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 101 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 A song! Why she's worth a whole blooming 
 hopera ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Aye ! Including the chorus ! 
 
 WlLLOUGHBY 
 
 Can't sing, dear boy ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, now, Willoughby, you shall have her for 
 two hundred and fifty if you'll refrain from re- 
 fraining ! Two hundred and fifty pounds for the 
 sweetest thing in the world, with her white stock- 
 ings and her new shoes, — and a saddle that would 
 cost you twenty guineas into the bargain ! 
 
 Jumps off saddle and holds it up at window. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 In despair. 
 
 Now he's going to sell the saddle! 
 
 Litton 
 
 The loveliest saddle! Many's the time it has 
 borne me on her back ! 
 
102 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Almost crying. 
 
 She was born with that saddle! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Good-bye to your jibes, Kitty! Your flashes of 
 merriment that were wont to set the stable in a 
 roar ! Going at two hundred — 
 
 Jorkins 
 Two 'undred for a 'orse like that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Think of her! A coat like sealskin! Think of 
 her sire — her dam ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY AND JORKINS 
 
 They lift their hands, as if this were the cli- 
 max, and in so doing move slightly from the 
 door. Smiithers opens it, at which they turn, 
 as if on a pivot, and fall against it, with an 
 exclamation of triumph. 
 
 Litton 
 
 At window, to Willoughby. 
 
 She loves a soldier ! 
 
 Again leaps into saddle. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 103 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 That she does, God bless her! 
 
 Litton 
 And adores a fight! 
 
 Excited. 
 
 JORKINS AND PlNCKNEY 
 
 A fight, ha, ha ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Seizes a pen and uses this as if it were a whip, 
 grasping the table-cover like reins. 
 
 She can run a mile in one-thirty ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 No, no! One-twenty! 
 
 Litton 
 Which is convenient if you get licked ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY AND JORKINS 
 
 Licked ! Never ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 She'll jump six feet in the air, if you're vic- 
 torious ! 
 
104 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 PlNCKNEY AND JORKINS 
 
 Jumping wildly into the air. 
 
 Hurrah ! Victorious ! 
 
 WlLLOUGHBY 
 
 Outside. 
 
 Sixteen hands, d'ye say? 
 
 Litton 
 
 What? Aye, sixteen hands and every one of 
 them a dream and all her legs a poem ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 I shall cry in a minute ! 
 
 Litton 
 Come, say two hundred ! Going, going — 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Pushing door open. 
 
 No, sir, I'm not going until — 
 
 Jorkins and Pinckney slam the door, shutting 
 him out. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Jumping off saddle and throwing it out of win- 
 dow. 
 
 Gone! — Kitty Tyrrell knocked down to Lord 
 
Kitty Tyrrell knocked down to Lord Wjlloughby " Page 104 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 105 
 
 Willoughby at two hundred pounds! — The first 
 time I ever knocked down a lady in all my life ! — 
 All right, Willoughby, throw the notes up here ; 
 I'll catch 'em ! — 
 
 To Jorkins and Pinckney. 
 
 — Let him in ! 
 
 Pinckney and Jorkins 
 
 They open the door wide suddenly, so that 
 Smithers falls forward on the floor, his head 
 in front of the tiger rug. Jorkins and Pinck- 
 ney, in their endeavors to arrest him, them- 
 selves fall on top of him. They rise im- 
 mediately and assist Smithers, who is greatly 
 frightened at seeing the tiger's head, and 
 place him in chair. 
 
 In with you! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Catching bundle of bank-notes at window. 
 
 Thanks, old man ! 
 
 Runs to Smithers and thrusts these into his 
 right hand. 
 
 There's the money you're so hungry for ! I wish 
 you were the Heir of Crawford himself that it 
 might choke you! Much good 'twill do ye, ye 
 limb of the law ! It's blood money, that's what it 
 is! And here's the rest of the ten thousand 
 pounds ! 
 
106 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Goes to desk, fetches more bank-notes and 
 thrusts them into Smithers' hands. 
 
 — Ah, 'tis suffocated ye are ! Here, take a drink ! 
 
 Takes bottle from cooler on floor and gives 
 this to Smithers. 
 
 Take a ci^ar ! 
 
 Gets box of cigars from desk and thrusts 
 this into his arms. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Getting a cigar from the box and thrusting it 
 into Smithers' mouth. 
 
 Yes, take a cigar ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Picking up Smithers' hat and smashing it over 
 his eyes. 
 
 Take your hat ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Giving the hat an extra smash. 
 
 Yes, take your hat ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Thrusting Smithers' cane under his arm. 
 
 Take your cane — Take a pauper's blessing, and 
 the devil take you ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 107 
 
 Goes up to supper-table and gets a bottle of 
 champagne. 
 
 Now, Jorkins, you old orphan; Pinckney, my 
 warrior — a toast ! A toast ! 
 
 Pinckney and Jorkins 
 
 Going up to table. 
 
 A toast! A toast! 
 
 Pinckney brings one glass, Jorkins two. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Knocking off head of bottle and pouring out 
 wine. 
 
 Here's to my having paid all I owe! And 
 here's good faring to a beggar who, having sold 
 even his horse, will have to follow mounted beg- 
 gars afoot ! Hip, hip, hoorah ! 
 
 Taking glass from Jorkins, drinks. Pours 
 wme over Smithers, who, in trying to dodge 
 it, stumbles over tiger's head. 
 
 Jorkins 
 Hoorah ! 
 
 Pinckney 
 Hoorah ! 
 
 Pinckney and Jorkins 
 
 -r> 1 > • « Sing. 
 
 .For he s a jolly good fellow, 
 
108 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 For he's a jolly good fellow, 
 For he's a jolly good fellow, 
 And so say we all of us ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 And now I'll go change my coat! — Jorkins, get 
 a receipt from him. 
 
 Laughing, shakes fist at Smithers. Throws 
 glass on supper-table in passing, and exit. 
 Smithers also follows Litton, but is con- 
 fronted by Pinckney as the latter turns, and, 
 frightened, backs, bumps into Jorkins, who 
 is removing the rugs. In terror he jumps 
 aside and sits in chair, hugging bottle and 
 box of cigars. 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Dismally. 
 For he's a jolly good fell — 
 
 Suddenly catching sight of Smithers, hoists 
 him by his collar and propels him toward 
 door. 
 
 'Ere! You come on and give us that bloomin' 
 receipt ! 
 
 In passing the cooler he unconsciously kicks it 
 on Smithers' toes at every step, Smithers ex- 
 claiming. 
 
 We're off to India, bloomin' 'ot ! He's off to 
 Harizona, bloomin' cold ! There ain't no bloom- 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 109 
 
 in' comfort in this bloomin' world. 'Ere, come 
 on and give us that receipt ! 
 
 Kicks Smithers off, then the cooler, and exit, 
 closing door. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Wipes chair with napkin which he finds hang- 
 ing over its back. Sits, stretching out legs 
 and contemplating them admiringly. 
 
 Ha, ha! I wonder if Polly will admire my 
 uniform ! Strange that the adoration I used to 
 feel for Fanny is unchanged — only its present ob- 
 ject is called Polly! 
 
 Knock at door. 
 
 Come in ! 
 
 Knock repeated. 
 Come in, hang you ! 
 
 Runs to door and throws it open with such vio- 
 lence that the handle comes off in his hand. 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Dean 
 
 Outside, reproving. 
 
 Pinckney 
 Oh, Lord ! The Dean ! 
 
 Drops handle by door and runs off into inner 
 room, closing curtains behind him. Enter 
 the Dean, Hyacinth, Polly and Merivale. 
 
no CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Hyacinth 
 Here we are at last ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Advancing, unconsciously pushing the handle 
 a few feet from the door. 
 
 So these are a soldier's quarters ! 
 Jorkins 
 
 Entering, gleefully rubbing hands. 
 
 Ha, ha ! I 'ave punched 'is 'ead ! 
 
 Nearly collides with Hyacinth. Salutes. 
 
 Beg pardon, ma'am ! Your servant, your Rever- 
 ence and Ladies! 
 
 Eyes Merivale with suspicion. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Good morning, Jorkins! Where is Captain 
 Litton ? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Where is Mr. Pinckney? 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Sadly. 
 Captain Litton ain't no more ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR in 
 
 All 
 
 Amazed. 
 
 What? 
 
 Hyacinth 
 You mean — dead ! 
 
 Sinks into chair. 
 JORKINS 
 
 No, no ! He ain't captain no more ! 
 All 
 
 Amazed. 
 
 What! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Lolling in window seat. 
 
 Humph ! 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Moving table away from window, and setting 
 it against wall. 
 
 I will announce you to the captain-as-was ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 Not captain any more ! 
 
 Merivale 
 Perhaps he was obliged to send in his papers ! 
 
ii2 CAPTAIN LETT ARBL AIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 Has picked up the tankard and examined it. 
 
 This sounds like it ! 
 
 'To Captain Litton on his retirement from the 
 Irish Fusiliers with the love of his brother offi- 
 cers" — Look! 
 
 Carries it to Hyacinth. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Taking tankard, reads. 
 "Gallant charge against Arabi Pasha, Abu 
 
 Goum." What chivalry ! 
 
 Passes tankard to Dean. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Reads. 
 
 Dear me — "Crossed the Irrawaddy with des- 
 patches, with bullets whizzing round him !" Just 
 
 like him ! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Just like 'is father ! 
 
 Exit, drawing curtains sharply behind him. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Impressively. 
 
 All the same, to my mind his leaving the army 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 113 
 
 looks suspicious — and, mark 'my words, you 
 won't get at the truth of the story ! 
 
 Enter Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Throws arms about Dean. 
 
 Ah, Uncle Ambrose ! 
 
 Dean 
 My dear boy ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 With extended hand. 
 The hero of Rangoon ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Kissing her hand. 
 
 Dear lady — such as you make heroes of mere 
 
 men ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 We've come to bid Percy and you God-speed ! 
 
 Litton 
 Polly, my angel ! 
 
 Takes tankard from Dean and sets it on desk. 
 
 Merivale 
 I had a fancy to see the last of you, Litton ! 
 
ii4 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Kissing hand to him. 
 God bless ye, Merivale ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 But, Lettarblair, what is this I hear! Why 
 have you left the service ? 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Going to chair, sits. 
 Yes, why? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Sneering. 
 Yes, why? 
 
 Litton 
 
 To Dean. 
 
 Well, sir, the fact is, a sudden drain on my re- 
 sources has left me an amiable pauper ! 
 
 Dean and Hyacinth 
 A pauper! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Aside. 
 
 Oh ! With ten thousand pounds in his pocket ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 115 
 
 Dean 
 
 Ah, that explains the note you left for me the 
 day you left Beechwood so — er — hurriedly ! 
 
 Taking note from pocket, and reading from it. 
 
 "Altered circumstances compel me to beg for a 
 postponement of our interview — " 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Will you not tell us the cause of your altered 
 circumstances ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, no, please. I don't care to talk about it 
 — save to assure you 'tis nothing I need blush 
 for! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Insultingly. 
 
 Except, perhaps, with an inherited blush ! 
 Litton 
 
 Determined not to quarrel with him. 
 
 I'll leave ye a blush in my will, Merivale, since 
 
 nature neglected to provide for ye ! 
 
 Aside. 
 
n6 
 
 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Confound him, can he have heard of my father's 
 troubles ? 
 
 Aloud, striving to speak jauntily. 
 I'm off to Arizona this blessed hour! 
 
 Aside, shocked. 
 
 Amazed. 
 
 Rather shocked. 
 
 Polly 
 With Fanny's money ! 
 
 Litton 
 I'm going on a cattle-ranch ! 
 
 Dean 
 Arizona ! Well, well ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 A cattle ranch ! Dear, dear ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 •An old comrade of mine has made a pot of 
 money there! I've got youth and strength — and 
 the sweetest liver ye ever set eyes on in all your 
 life! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Quite shocked. 
 
 Oh, Lettarblair! 
 
 Polly goes over to Litton on his left, as if 
 striving to solve the puzzle. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 117 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Rising ponderously. 
 
 Hope you won't find you've mistaken your call- 
 ing, Litton! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Mr. Merivale ! The captain's honourable rec- 
 ord 
 
 Points to tankard. 
 
 bespeaks his success in his bucolic venture ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Oh, if everything is to be measured by a man's 
 
 military experience — 
 
 Shrugging shoulders. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Yet some men get on who are neither military 
 nor civil, Merivale! 
 
 Dean 
 Gentlemen ! Lettarblair, I beg — 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Still, you must admit it is rather a come-down ! 
 —Cattle! 
 
n8 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Hotly. 
 
 God knows 'tis never a dumb beast yet from 
 
 whom I've had the unkind word, Merivale, and — ■ 
 
 Hyacinth gives a slight shriek. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Rising. 
 
 Gentlemen ! Gentlemen ! Let us have peace ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Swaggers to door. 
 
 I must be off ! I left Fanny with the Colonel's 
 wife ! I promised to call for her ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Airily. 
 
 Hope you won't find you've mistaken your 
 calling, Merivale! 
 
 Merivale gives him a black look. Exit. 
 Enter Pinckney, in full uniform, with great 
 display, saluting on all sides. All exclaim. 
 
 Pinckney 
 How do you like my uniform ? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 119 
 
 Polly 
 
 Admiringly. 
 
 Oh, Percy, it is beautiful — and so becoming ! 
 
 Dean and Hyacinth murmur assent. 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 I cut a better figure this way than copying ser- 
 mons, eh, Dean? 
 
 Dean 
 
 Pinckney ! The pen, sir, we are told, is might- 
 ier than — 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Aye, but I'll lay you anything you please I 
 shall make my mark better with the sword ! And 
 I shall have a chance to try my hand at it ! The 
 orderly officer of the day has just galloped into 
 the square with a despatch from the general of 
 the district, and — 
 
 Noise heard outside. 
 
 — there's quite an excitement ! 
 
 Goes to window. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Runs to window. 
 Oh, let's see! 
 
 Sits in upper end of window-seat. 
 
120 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Going to window and stands, looking out. 
 
 Dear, dear! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Following Hyacinth. 
 What is it all about ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Detaining Dean. 
 
 Dear Uncle Ambrose — I shall be off to Liver- 
 pool in a few minutes, and then — across the seas ! 
 I asked you to postpone our interview concern- 
 ing Fanny till I could rid myself of a debt! 
 But nothing can change my love for her ! Believe 
 that! Nothing! I am going to try to earn at 
 least a decent living in the hope that some day I 
 may persuade her to share it with me! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Well, well, Lettarblair, there is no hurry! 
 Why not make it a matter of mutual contempla- 
 tion for a period — say for ten years ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Overcome. 
 Ten years — Fanny! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 121 
 
 Dean 
 
 There is Scriptural authority! Jacob served 
 twice seven years for his Rachel! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sure, then, Jacob was no Irishman, or he'd 
 have taken his Rachel at the other end of the 
 bargain ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Well, well! I suppose young people will be 
 young people! 
 
 Indulgently. 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, Uncle Ambrose — but only while they're 
 young ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Ambrose ! We're going out to see what it all 
 
 means ! 
 
 Moving toward door. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Taking hat from top of portmanteau where he 
 placed it on entering, he gives Hyacinth his 
 arm, and leads her out. 
 
 Allow me to attend you ! 
 
122 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 Running to Litton. 
 In undertone. 
 
 Lettarblair — Don't fail to see Fanny! — You 
 owe her an explanation! She's very angry with 
 
 you! 
 
 Runs to Pinckney who is waiting for her at 
 door, takes his arm. They go out. 
 
 Litton 
 
 To himself. 
 
 Angry — Fanny — with me! Perhaps that's a 
 
 sign of affection — but I'd a handful sooner have 
 
 the thing signified! 
 
 Sees Willoughby from window. 
 
 Hullo, Willoughby! Have you seen Kitty Tyr- 
 rell? 
 
 Willoughby 
 
 Outside. 
 Yes; she's a fine mare, my boy! 
 
 Enter Smithers in a battered condition. 
 
 Smithers 
 Captain Litton — 
 
 Litton 
 
 At window. 
 Isn't she a beauty! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 123 
 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 Captain Litton — 
 
 Litton 
 
 'Twas thanks to her I got out of my last en- 
 gagement at Khartoum with half a whole skin ! 
 
 Smithers 
 Captain Litton, sir, I — 
 
 Litton 
 She's worth a fortune ! A fortune ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 A fortune, eh? — Captain Litton, your servant 
 has violently assaulted my person ! He has 
 struck, pinched, kicked and otherwise injured 
 my tenderest — 
 
 Reaching out to grasp hold of Litton. 
 
 Litton 
 
 To Willoughby. 
 Eh ? — I'll come down to you ! 
 
 Leaps out of window. 
 
124 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 Baffled. 
 Why — where is he ! — 
 
 Looks out of window. 
 
 Oh, there — ! Captain Litton, I require compen- 
 sation! I — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Outside. 
 Oh, go to the devil ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Very well, sir! I will wait here till you return, 
 like patience on a window-sill ! 
 
 Sits on sill, hidden by curtains. 
 Enter Merivale and Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Breathlessly. 
 
 Quick, quick ! I saw Captain Litton out there ! 
 I wish to avoid him ! — Why — you said — 
 
 Looks about surprised. 
 
 Where are they all? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 They must have just stepped outside! They'll 
 be back directly ! Better wait ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 125 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Hesitatingly. 
 
 You are sure — these are Pinckney's rooms? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Of course! Come, Fanny! You never give 
 me a chance to talk to you alone ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 You know I — 
 
 Moves toward door. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Oh, if you want to put yourself in the way of 
 meeting Litton ! — 
 
 Fanny 
 No, no ! — I — No, no ! 
 
 Deciding to remain. 
 Anything but that ! — 
 
 To herself. 
 
 Surely he gave some reason for wanting to go to 
 Arizona ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Shrugging shoulders. 
 
 When a fellow is up to the ears in debt — 
 
126 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Impossible! I know — I am sure that he has 
 the wherewithal to pay his debts ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 My dear child, it does not therefore follow that 
 
 he pays them ! Can nothing- convince a woman's 
 
 reason ? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 To herself. 
 Nothing, when her heart tells another story! 
 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 Peeping out. 
 
 He has struck, pinched, kicked, and otherwise 
 injured my tenderest — 
 
 Merivale 
 Hullo ! Who are you ? 
 
 Smithers 
 
 I beg pardon, sir! I'm waiting for Captain 
 Litton! Is he a friend of yours? 
 
 Merivale 
 No, indeed, the fellow is no friend of mine ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 127 
 
 Smithers 
 
 You may congratulate yourself, sir! I have 
 never had to collect a debt from a more rascally 
 scapegrace ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Pleased, watching the effect on Fanny. 
 
 Come, come, that's a strong statement! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Captain Litton is an honourable man ! I am 
 sure that he will — 
 
 Smithers 
 
 An honourable man! Look at the money he 
 squanders at my client's expense! 
 
 Opens curtains, disclosing supper-table. 
 
 Honourable ! When I myself heard him boasting 
 of his engagement to a lady of large fortune ! 
 
 Fanny involuntarily exclaims. 
 
 Ah, you know the Captain ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 No ! I — I have never known him ! 
 
I2& CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Well, I haven't finished with him yet! — I'll 
 
 call again ! 
 
 At door turns back and stares at Merivale, 
 who returns the stare. Aside. 
 
 Now where have I seen him before! — Ha, I re- 
 member — in the Bank of Burrnah ! — 
 
 Exit, muttering. 
 He has struck, pinched, kicked, and otherwise in- 
 jured my tenderest — 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Going to Fanny. 
 
 Fanny, why do you trouble yourself about a 
 
 fellow like Litton! Why not give me the right 
 
 to protect you ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I shall never marry any one ! 
 
 Rises. 
 
 Merivale 
 Because you love him ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I will tell you what I have never told him — 
 that I have loved him better than my life ! 
 
 Goes to window. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 129 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Following her, eagerly. 
 
 But now — knowing him for what he is ? 
 
 Fanny 
 I love the man I thought him to be ! 
 
 Merivale 
 Then if he again asks you to marry him — ? 
 
 Fanny 
 He would never dare! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 He? Of course he will! You know I advised 
 you not to come to-day! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Facing on him. 
 
 What do you mean ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 The Dean — every one expecting it — it is forced 
 upon him ! 
 
1 3 o CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh!— I'll go home!— I'll tell them I feel ill! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 I'll take you myself! — Wait here while I get 
 the carriage — I'll only be a minute — 
 
 Hurried exit. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Going to window. 
 
 Oh, oh, oh ! As soon as he had money he went 
 
 away — only leaving this letter for me — that was 
 
 waiting for him! 
 
 Taking letter from breast reads. 
 
 "A sudden change in my fortunes takes me 
 from you! I dare not ask you to marry me just 
 yet ! — Perhaps in a year or two — Fanny, dear, 
 will you not wait for me? Your lover, Lettar- 
 blair?"— Oh, oh, oh! 
 
 Sits. Polly and Pinckney enter, breathless. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Agitated. 
 
 Oh, Fanny — they say there may be war ! 
 
 Sinks into window-seat. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 131 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 I might be shot — or lose a leg! Polly, how 
 could you stand having a wooden leg attached to 
 you for life? 
 
 Polly 
 Why not? You already have a heart of oak! 
 
 Bravely. 
 There, there — 
 
 Rises, and pushes him off into inner room. 
 
 Go finish your packing! 
 
 Goes half-crying to Fanny. 
 
 Oh, Fanny — how hard it is to part with — those 
 you love, and not know if you will ever see them 
 again ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Half-crying. 
 
 Yes, Polly — but it is hardest of all to realise 
 that you ought not to have loved them, and to 
 pray that you may never see them again ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 What is it, dear? Has not Lettarblair ex- 
 plained about the money? 
 
132 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I will not give him the opportunity ! He is un- 
 worthy of it ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 I don't believe he took it! He received the or- 
 der — and he left Beechwood immediately — but 
 that doesn't prove he made use of it ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, Polly, do you really believe that? 
 
 Polly 
 
 I'll be sure of it! I'll go find out! Wasn't the 
 the order on the Southampton Bank ? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 No; I had them send it to Lettarblair through 
 an order on the Bank of Burmah in London ! I 
 did it that roundabout way so that he should 
 never trace it — never guess ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Even so, the bank here would know if the 
 money had been drawn ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 133 
 
 Fanny 
 
 True! Oh, Polly, you darling! Here, I'll 
 write a line to ask them ! 
 
 Writing a message on her card. 
 
 Polly 
 
 It is near by ! Percy shall come with me ! 
 
 Calls. 
 Percy ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Giving Polly card. 
 But Mr. Pinckney mustn't know ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 He shall wait outside ! 
 
 Pinckney enters. 
 
 Pinckney 
 Well? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Taking his arm. 
 
 Come! 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Devotedly. 
 Anywhere !— But, where? 
 
i 3 4 • CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 
 Pushing him to door. 
 Never mind ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Aye, aye, sir ! 
 
 Salutes, takes coat from portmanteau in pass- 
 ing, exposing Litton's name to view. 
 
 Polly 
 
 To Fanny. 
 You wait here — and in ten minutes I'll brinz 
 
 Kisses Fanny. 
 
 you good news 
 
 -if you care for him 
 
 Exit with Pinckney, unconsciously shutting tail 
 of Fanny's skirt in door. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Leaning back against door. 
 
 If I care for him ! — Ah, if I might only speak ! 
 It's a wretched thing to be a woman! If we 
 could only woo I might tell him all that's in my 
 heart. I could ask him to explain — but I must 
 see him go away without a word! — Oh, to be a 
 man that I might say: "Did you get the money? 
 
Why, then, these are his rooms ! " Page ij$ 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 135 
 
 What does it all mean? Why do you go away? 
 — Stay! I love you!" — If only I were a man 
 long enough to say that — and then a woman 
 again to hear him answer me ! 
 
 Her right hand falls on- sword that is standing 
 against wall. She picks it up and reads the 
 tag on it. 
 
 "Captain Lettarblair Litton — Steamer Majestic 
 — New York for Arizona." 
 
 Looks about, sees name on portmanteau. 
 
 Why, then, these are his rooms! — Oh, I mustn't 
 wait here ! I must — 
 
 Turning to go, finds skirt caught. Pulls at it. 
 laughing. 
 
 Dear me! 
 
 Tries to open door. 
 — Oh, the handle's gone! 
 
 Tugs skirt harder. Beats on door, calling; 
 then waves gloves from window. 
 
 Uncle Ambrose! Polly! Francis Merivale! 
 Somebody! — Oh, what shall I do! 
 
 Considers. Begins to unfasten skirt, then 
 laughing, changes mind. 
 
 Oh, no! I couldn't go out without it! — Oh, the 
 shame of it if he should come in and find me here ! 
 
 Tugs angrily. Suddenly sees handle, 
 
136 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Why, there's the handle ! 
 
 Goes toward it hastily, but is unable to reach it. 
 
 What shall I do!— Ah, this—! 
 
 Sees sword, grasps it, and tries to reach handle, 
 only knocking it further from her. Makes 
 futile strokes. 
 
 Oh, I could cry with rage! — Why don't they 
 have longer swords ! — Ah, this ! 
 
 Puts scabbard partly on sword to lengthen it, 
 and makes more futile efforts, finally drop- 
 ping scabbard. Sits despairingly on floor, 
 chin on sword hilt. 
 
 What shall I do ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Under the window, outside. 
 
 All right, Willoughby! Be good to her, poor 
 
 dear! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 He's there ! — That handle — I must get it ! 
 
 Rises, struggling with (kess, and again vainly 
 trying to get handle. 
 
 Litton 
 
 To Willoughby, outside. 
 
 Alas, ready money outweighs affection ! Good- 
 by ! Good-by ! 
 
Why, there's the handle ! " Page 136 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 137 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Ah ! Ready money outweighs affection ! I 
 
 must get it ! — Of course ready money outweighs 
 
 affection ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Climbs in at window, and sits on sill. 
 
 I do believe this wet thing in my eye's a tear ! 
 
 Suddenly sees Fanny, but as her hand is up to 
 her face, at first does not recognise her. 
 Goes in front of her, amazed. Seeing him, 
 she falls back against the door with a cry of 
 rage. 
 
 Fanny! — It's Fanny! Fanny! 
 
 Joyfully, approaching her. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Warding him off with sword. 
 
 Stand back ! Don't dare come near me ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanny, I did not venture to hope for this meet- 
 ing. But I am so happy you are here ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Keeping him back with sword. 
 
 Don't speak to me ! Stand back ! 
 
138 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanny — I have so much to say to you ! I fear 
 you have misjudged me ! I — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 With scorn. 
 Oh, no! I have not misjudged you! 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, now, Fanny ! You're angry ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Loftily. 
 Angry! Why should I be angry! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Well, dear, I left abruptly! I owe you some 
 further explanation ! 
 
 Fanny 
 Oh, no ! You owe me nothing ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Ah, Fanny, I have to go away! Let me tell 
 you — 
 
■M 
 
 r* 
 
 
 $ 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 139 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside. 
 I dare not trust myself ! 
 
 To Litton, with hauteur. 
 
 Captain Litton, you will pardon me, but I also 
 have to go away! My friends are waiting for 
 me ! 
 
 Litton sits at desk, face in hands. 
 
 Good day ! 
 
 Litton turns and bows. 
 She starts to go with dignity, but is detained 
 by her skirt. There is a pause during which 
 she looks despairingly at handle, then angrily 
 at Litton. Clears throat to speak to him, but 
 changes her mind. Waves handkerchief out 
 of window. Overcome with anger and dis- 
 appointment, coughs. 
 
 A-hem ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Turns quickly; joyfully springs up. 
 
 Ah, now, Fanny — you can't go! 
 
 Aside, angrily. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 No, I can't! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Approaching her. 
 
 Dear Fanny, we mustn't part in anger! You 
 will hear me! 
 
140 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside, feeling skirt, fearfully. 
 Pointing to handle. 
 
 It's coming off ! 
 
 Give me that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Puzzled. 
 
 What? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Stormily. 
 That— that— that ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Seeing handle, puzzled. 
 
 What, that ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Yes, I want it ! Why don't you give it me ! 
 Litton 
 
 Touching handle with foot, then staring at 
 Fanny. 
 
 What, that ? 
 
 Fanny 
 Yes, that! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 141 
 
 Litton 
 
 Picking up handle. 
 
 Well, but now what's .the good of it to ye ? 
 'Tis such a silly thing to be wanting ! 
 
 Tosses it up and catches it. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Reaching for it vainly. 
 
 Oh ! I hate you ! 
 
 * Litton 
 
 Laughs. 
 
 Forgive me, Fanny — but 'tis such a queer 
 keepsake — for that's what you must want it for, 
 though you won't give me the satisfaction of 
 saying so! But don't take the lock of the door; 
 take a lock of my hair ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Furious. 
 
 Oh, I'll not stay here to be laughed at! Let 
 me go, I command you ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Surprised. 
 
 But — dearly as I love to< have you, I'm not de- 
 taining you ! 
 
14-3 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 I can't get away! — I'm caught in the door! 
 
 Litton 
 The devil ye are ! 
 
 Drops handle and goes to her. 
 
 Fanny, this is the work of Providence! The 
 gods meant that you should hear me — and you 
 shall ! — Oh, I know what you must think — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I will not hear you ! 
 
 Puts hands to ears. 
 
 I will not ! — You call yourself a soldier ! Oh, 
 
 this is brave, is it not ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Taking her hands from her ears and holding 
 them. 
 
 Fanny — I must speak — I must tell you — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I will not hear you ! 
 
 Snatches away her hands and again covers 
 ears. 
 
 Oh, you are cruel ! Let me go ! 
 
 Cries. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 143 
 
 Litton 
 
 Hastening to her. 
 
 Ah, Fanny, dearest, I'm a brute! Ah, now, 
 let me dry your eyes ! 
 
 Trying to dry her eyes with his., handkerchief. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Pushing him from her. 
 
 How dare you ! Oh, the shame of it ! 
 Litton 
 
 Hurt and bewildered. 
 
 Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I know everything! 
 
 Litton 
 Eh L You know of my obligation ? 
 
 Fanny 
 Yes, yes, I know ! 
 
 Litton 
 I couldn't ask ye to share it ! 
 
144 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 No, no ! I know ! — Let me go ! 
 
 Litton 
 The difference between us is too great ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Aside, turning from him. 
 
 Much — much — much too great! 
 
 Leans, face buried in hands, against door. 
 
 The money has turned his brain ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sadly. 
 
 Fanny, Fanny, have you no kind word for me 
 at parting? It's a terrible thing to go away with 
 nothing to look forward to but what ye leave be- 
 hind you ! — My only comfort is the thought 
 that's breaking my heart : that you don't care ! — 
 
 Tries to take down her hands. 
 
 I leave England in a few hours — but I will come 
 back in a few years ! If I dared ask you to wa.it 
 — Fanny, I can't bear your tears! — Don't, don't 
 cry, dear heart ! You must see that what I have 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 145 
 
 done is for the best! — I couldn't ask you to be 
 my wife yet! — Fanny, please don't cry! — Damn 
 the money! — I beg your pardon, Fanny! Say 
 good-bye! Fanny, I love you better than life it- 
 self! I love you — Don't cry! — Ask me to stay 
 — and — Fanny, now Fanny, my sweet sweet- 
 heart — 
 
 Fanny utters a cry, and pushes him from her. 
 The door opens, releasing her. She runs 
 across the room, crying hysterically. 
 
 Enter Merivale. 
 
 Merivale 
 Fanny, the trap's ready. 
 
 Has that — ? 
 
 Sees Litton. 
 
 With angry suspicion. 
 Enter Polly, pale and breathless, followed by 
 Pinckney, the Dean and Hyacinth. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Fanny! Fanny! 
 
 In undertone. 
 
 It is true — the money has been drawn — every 
 penny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Shudders. 
 
 Ah!— 
 
 Turns to Merivale. 
 
146 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Forgive my having doubted you ! 
 
 Merivale, relieved, takes her hand. 
 
 Dean 
 
 My children, Fanny and Lettarblair, is it your 
 desire that I join your hands in betrothal before 
 you part ? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Approaching. 
 
 No! It is impossible! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Starts forward to resent this, but checks him- 
 self. 
 
 I thank you. Dean, but I can not invite Fanny 
 to share my poverty ! 
 
 Fanny 
 Poverty ! 
 
 Aside to Polly. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 You mean disgrace! 
 
 Litton 
 What do you mean? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 147 
 
 Dean 
 Gentlemen — ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Pardon, Dean, but I know Litton to be encum- 
 bered with a discreditable debt ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Discreditable? Litton, explain! Merivale, I 
 demand an explanation! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Litton tries to hush it up — but it is the result 
 of a dishonourable business transaction of his fa- 
 ther's ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 You cur! — Before God he was innocent! 
 Merivale 
 
 Playing with his gloves. 
 Your word suffices for your friends, Captain 
 Litton, but the world would call him an em- 
 bezzler ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Snatches Merivale's gloves, and slaps his face 
 with them. 
 
148 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 You liar ! 
 
 Merivale makes a blow at Litton, but is caught 
 from behind by Pinckney, and forced into 
 chair. 
 
 Tf there's a God in Heaven you shall pay for 
 this! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Between clenched teeth. 
 
 Yes, I will pay for this ! 
 
 To Merivale. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, if you have any shame — 
 
 Litton 
 Dear old Dad ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 I must protect you S 
 
 Litton 
 
 Has Miss Hadden given you the right to pro- 
 tect her? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 How dare you ask ! You ! 
 
 To Fanny 
 

 " You cur ! " Page 147 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 149 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanny, I dare all ! I am penniless, but not dis- 
 graced ! If you love me — Fanny, will you be my 
 
 wife? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Vehemently. 
 
 Finally and for ever — no ! 
 
 Litton turns away, broken-hearted. 
 Loud shouts outside and first bugle call. Enter 
 Jorkins in full marching array, running. 
 
 J0RKINS 
 
 Master — master — it's war, master! War! 
 
 War? 
 
 All 
 
 Commands heard outside, "Irish Fusiliers ! By 
 Companies!" "Form Fours!" "By the 
 right !" etc. "Quick March !" 
 
 Drum-beat, and fife.. The Girl I left Behind 
 Me! Marching. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Sepoys have risen! We're ordered to active 
 
 service ! 
 
 All 
 Active service! 
 
 Pinckney embraces Polly, shakes hands hastily 
 with the others, and again embraces Polly, 
 placing her half-fainting in window-seat, and 
 hurries off. 
 
150 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Good-bye, master ! Good-bye ! God bless you, 
 master ! Good-bye ! 
 
 Exit rapidly. 
 Excitement outside increased. Litton looks out 
 of window. 
 
 Litton 
 Oh, I must — I must go with them ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 With a sneer. 
 
 You've sent in your papers ! How can you go ! 
 
 In the ranks ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Turning quickly to him at the door. 
 
 Fanny faints ; Merivale catches her and places 
 her in chair. Band outside louder. Com- 
 mands heard : "No. i by the right, march ! 
 No. 2 by the right !" Shouts of the crowd 
 and the marching of soldiers. 
 
 CURTAIN 
 END OF ACT II 
 
ACT III 
 
 SCENE I 
 
 Office of Seton and Catesby, Solicitors, London. Six 
 months after Act II. In the foreground are Mr. Seton's 
 desk and revolving chair ; in the background toward the 
 right Smithers' high desk and stool. On the right a win- 
 dow overlooks a quadrangle ; beyond this a door leads to 
 inner offices, and further on is a curtained arch. A large, 
 ancient table stands on the left between the fireplace and 
 the door that opens into outer offices. Law-books on 
 shelves, tin boxes and letter-files appear in utmost order. 
 High-backed office chairs are ranged stiffly against the 
 walls. In a corner an old clock mounts guard. On the 
 mantel-piece tea-things are set out. Mr. Seton is bending 
 over a neat pile of papers at the table, while Smithers, pen 
 over ear, stands at attention by his desk, receiving in- 
 structions. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Now, Smithers, you understand your instruc- 
 tions ? 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Perfectly, sir ! 
 
 Knock at door. Smithers opens the door. En- 
 ter Fanny, Polly and Pinckney. 
 
 Fanny 
 Oh, Mr. Seton, I'm so glad to see you again! 
 151 
 
152 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Seton 
 
 Fanny, my dear girl, you make this legal wil- 
 derness blossom like the rose! — Well, Polly, so 
 your hero has come back to you ! 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Yes, indeed ! Aren't you glad to see me alive ? 
 
 Seton 
 And when is the wedding to take place? 
 
 Polly 
 
 Hiding face in hands, with pretended shyness. 
 
 Whose wedding? 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Imitating her. 
 
 Yes, whose ! 
 
 Polly 
 Mine? 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Or mine ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Uncle Ambrose and Miss Hyacinth are to set 
 the example next week. Here is your invitation ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 153 
 
 Seton 
 Delightful !— Now, my dear— 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Guardian, I have something very particular to 
 say to you ! 
 
 Pinckney leads Polly to table. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Rummaging among boxes on shelves. 
 
 What a dear old office ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 To Mr. Seton, with lowered voice. 
 
 Mr. Merivale, I believe, is coming here to- 
 day? 
 
 Seton 
 He is. Well? 
 
 Fanny 
 He wants to marry me. He pursues me with 
 it. Will you make him understand it is impos- 
 sible? 
 
154 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 Seton 
 
 He shall learn it unmistakably from me to-day, 
 my dear. Now — 
 
 Polly 
 
 Opening a tin box. 
 
 Biscuits ? Let's have a picnic ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 No, Polly! You will find no sweets there; 
 only bitterness and hatred ! — Now, my clear 
 young friends — 
 
 Polly 
 
 Having opened another box. 
 Here are the biscuits ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Good ! Let's have afternoon tea ! I know Mr. 
 Seton wants his tea! 
 
 Polly and Pinckney bring biscuits and teacups 
 to table ; Fanny goes to fireplace and picks 
 up kettle. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Protesting. 
 
 But, mv dear — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 155 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Mr. Smithers, can you get us some boiling 
 water ? There ought to be lots of hot water in a 
 lawyer's office. 
 
 Smithers 
 
 He takes the kettle ; exit. 
 Certainly ma'am! 
 
 Fanny 
 Here are tea-cups. But where are the spoons ? 
 
 Seton 
 
 Pointing to Polly and Pinckney. 
 
 There's a couple ! 
 
 Knock at door. 
 
 Come in! 
 
 Merivale enters. He greets Mr. Seton for- 
 mally, Fanny with marked devotion, then 
 nods carelessly to the others. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Well, Polly! So your bad penny has come 
 back to you ! 
 
 Pinckney threatens Merivale. 
 
 Polly 
 Hush, Percy! He may be a bad penny, Mr. 
 
156 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 iviei ivai 
 
 LC, ULIL J. 
 
 WUU1U11 L CllclllgC 
 
 111m 1^1 ci owv - 
 
 ereign ! 
 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Addressing Seton. 
 
 You 
 
 sent for 
 
 me? 
 
 Seton 
 
 
 
 
 Taking up 
 
 letter, sits at desk. 
 
 Yes! 
 
 I wish to read you all th 
 
 e latest news of 
 
 Captair 
 
 1 Litton. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 
 Going to Seton. 
 
 Ah! You've heard from him — at last! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Ah, poor Litton! Rather the worse for the 
 wars, I hear! 
 
 Leans on mantel. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Indignantly, to Merivale. 
 
 Worse, indeed ! When he's got his commis- 
 sion again ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Shrugging shoulders. 
 
 Newspaper accounts are sometimes perverted 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 157 
 
 and overdrawn ! In any case honours are useless 
 to a man when he's a wreck in mind and body ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Horrified, clutching Seton. 
 Oh, guardian! Is that true? 
 
 Seton 
 
 Don't be alarmed, my dear! As Mr. Meri- 
 
 vale says, bank accounts are sometimes perverted 
 
 and overdrawn — 
 
 Merivale moves uneasily. 
 
 — Ah, what am I saying ! Newspaper accounts ! 
 — Two months ago I received this letter from 
 Litton. He writes : 
 
 Reading from letter. 
 
 "I hear that I am said to have received a bank 
 order for ten thousand pounds on the day of my 
 departure from Beechwood, and to have cashed 
 this at the Southampton Bank shortly before 
 leaving England. That rumour is false. It was 
 debt, not prosperity, that took me away!" 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Qh-h! If we have been mistaken — ! 
 
158 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Polly 
 I was sure it would come out rieht ! 
 
 ■fe j 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Of course! 
 
 Polly and Pinckney go to window. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, the wrong I have done him ! If only I 
 could see him to explain ! Guardian, write him 
 for me — ! 
 
 Enter Smithers with kettle. 
 S MIT HERS 
 
 Water boils, Miss. 
 
 Polly seizes the kettle ; it burns her hand. 
 Pinckney takes it from her, burning his 
 hand. Smithers hands a card to Mr. Seton. 
 
 Gentleman to see you, sir! I showed him into 
 
 your private office. 
 
 Sits on high stool at desk. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Reading card. 
 A client to see me. Be off with you, all of 
 you ! You'll find tea and tea-pot in there ! 
 
 Pointing. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 159 
 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Polly, put the kettle on, 
 
 Swinging the kettle, as he and Polly go out. 
 
 We'll all have tea. 
 
 Fanny is about to accompany them, but Mr. 
 Seton detains her. 
 
 Seton 
 A moment, my dear ! 
 
 Merivale is about to slip quietly out. Mr. 
 Seton, turning in chair, notices him. 
 
 Er — a word with you, Mr. Merivale! 
 
 Rises, goes to Fanny. Smithers leaps from 
 stool and stands by desk as if to watch 
 Merivale. 
 
 Fanny, I hear that while I was away you caused 
 the debt to the Crawford estate to be collected ! 
 A most unbusinesslike proceeding ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, but, guardian — I had to have the money! 
 It was for a most worthy object! 
 
 Seton 
 
 But, my dear! Your action embarrassed a 
 most worthy object! 
 
160 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Then give them back the money, guardian — I 
 — I don't ever want to hear of it again ! 
 
 Exit, with emotion. 
 
 Seton 
 
 To himself. 
 
 A woman's idea of business : Ruin Peter to 
 pay Paul — that is, if she loves Paul! 
 
 Sits at desk. 
 Smithers leaps on to stool again. 
 
 Now, Mr. Merivale, what have you to tell me 
 about that bank order? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Nothing, sir — except that that's a damned im- 
 pertinent question ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Indeed ! — Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers approaches Merivale. 
 
 Where have you seen this gentleman before ? 
 Merivale 
 
 Looks at Smithers. Recognises him. 
 
 I can tell you ! In Litton' s quarters, the day 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 161 
 
 of the departure of the regiment — when you gave 
 him a pretty bad character ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 True, sir! But I had already seen you once 
 before ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Tell him where and under what circumstances ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Two days previous, in London, at the Bank of 
 Burmah. I had some reason for thinking Cap- 
 tain Litton might call there, and I was waiting 
 for him, behind a door, to collect a bill ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Laughs, sneering. 
 As usual! 
 
 Smithers 
 He did not come — but you did ! 
 
 Merivale 
 Nothing more probable! I bank there! 
 
1 62 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Smithers 
 
 After a whispered consultation with the clerk, 
 with whom you seemed to be on intimate terms, 
 you cashed an order. It was endorsed with the 
 signature, "Lettarblair Litton." 
 
 Seton 
 
 You may go now, Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers goes out. 
 
 Well, Merivale, can you deny that you cashed 
 that order? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Moves a chair forward and sits. 
 
 No need to deny it, Mr. Seton. Litton gave it 
 me in payment of a debt at cards ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Do you expect me to believe that Litton would 
 gamble with you ? 
 
 Merivale 
 Not now, poor devil ! He can't afford it ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 163 
 
 Seton 
 Merivale, we are not satisfied that the endorse- 
 ment is genuine! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Turns on Seton. 
 
 You accuse me — 
 
 Seton 
 
 Still seated, turns, facing him. 
 — of forgery? I do! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Rises. Moves away a few paces. 
 Is it likely a man would commit a forgery in 
 broad daylight, and remain on the spot with 
 every chance of detection? 
 
 Seton 
 It sounds too glaringly improbable — yet that 
 
 Rises, 
 is just what you have done! You planned, hav- 
 ing parted the lovers, by marrying Fanny to 
 escape detection ; or, if detected, to hush up your 
 crime! But, finding that she will not have you, 
 you have secretly prepared to leave the country 
 with your ill-gotten gains! 
 
1 64 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Again turns on him. 
 
 What are you saying? 
 
 Seton 
 
 Turning in chair so as always to face Merivale. 
 
 Oh, you have been watched, Mr. Merivale! 
 You have been watched ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Quite unnecessary. Had you asked straight- 
 forwardly I would have told you of the trip I in- 
 tend to take ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Intended, rather! Your vessel sails to-night, 
 but without you ! Is it honest business takes you 
 to the States? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Leaning on a chair-back. 
 
 Men have been known to visit the States for 
 pleasure ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Rarely under an assumed name, if they be 
 honest ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 165 
 
 Merivale 
 
 This sounds very fine, but you offer me no 
 proof ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Not because it is lacking. I am only waiting 
 to' read it to you, link by link, in the presence of 
 the man you have wronged — Lettarblair Litton. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 You will have to wait. Litton is lying at the 
 point of death in the hospital at Rangoon. 
 
 Picks up his hat and goes toward door. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Takes up letter. 
 
 He was, two* months since — when this letter 
 was written! — But he's better; he's well; he's 
 here; in England; London; here in my private 
 office, ready to confront — 
 
 Merivale hurriedly opens the door. 
 
 Ah, Mr. Merivale, you are not anxious to see the 
 Captain ! 
 
1 66 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 You must admit, Mr. Seton, that two to one 
 are heavy odds — 
 
 Seton 
 
 . Go now ! To-morrow you will meet me in the 
 library of the Deanery at half-past six — 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Insolently. 
 I rarely rise so early. 
 
 Seton 
 
 — in the evening. In the presence of Litton 
 and the Dean you will hand me the ten thousand 
 pounds. And, remember, forgery is felony; its 
 punishment penal servitude. Escape is impossi- 
 ble, for you are watched! You take a convey- 
 ance? Another follows you like fate — and wher- 
 ever you go fate is waiting for you, too ! 
 
 Merivale makes a gesture as if to strike Seton. 
 Polly, Pinckney and Fanny enter gaily, with 
 tea-pot, sugar-bowl, etc. Fanny prepares to 
 pour the tea. 
 
 Polly y 
 
 Tea's ready! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 167 
 
 Merivale 
 
 In undertone to Fanny. 
 
 Fanny, dearest — hear me once more! They 
 accuse me falsely, of terrible things ! Fanny, 
 you know I have always been your friend. 
 
 Cordially. 
 
 Fanny 
 Yes ! Oh, yes ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Then marry me at once ! 
 
 Smithers enters. 
 
 It would only be generous, right ! I would give 
 
 my life for you ! Come ! 
 
 Takes her hand as if to lead her away. 
 
 Fanny 
 No, no ! I can not ! 
 
 Drawing back. 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Pointing over shoulder with thumb. 
 Gentleman in there says he's in a terrible 
 hurry, Mr. Seton, sir. Says he's due at a levee 
 at St. James's palace in fifteen minutes. 
 
1 68 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Going hurriedly. 
 
 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Mr. Merivale, remember your appointment for 
 
 to-morrow ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Oh, Mr. Merivale, won't you have a cup of 
 
 tea? 
 
 Merivale 
 
 In a burst of passion. 
 
 Tea ! I hate tea ! 
 
 Exit, banging door. 
 
 Polly and Pinckney 
 
 Amazed. 
 He hates tea ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Offering cup to Mr. Seton. 
 
 Drink it! The longer you wait the colder it 
 
 gets ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 My dear — my client in there — he has a violent 
 temper, and the longer he waits the hotter it 
 gets ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 169 
 
 Polly 
 Is he young and handsome? Let's ask him to 
 join us. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Certainly not ! — Get along with you, 
 
 Drives Polly and Pinckney. 
 Polly, with your Pinckneys and your picnics ! 
 
 Polly and Pinckney 
 Oh, what a naughty temper! 
 
 Taxing Seton as they go, carrying their tea. 
 
 Seton 
 And you, too, Fanny — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Stopping to help herself to sugar, as Polly and 
 Pinckney go out. 
 
 Just one more-lump ! 
 
 Goes. 
 
 Seton 
 Now, Smithers — 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Has just put a lump of sugar into his mouth. 
 
170 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Yes sir ! 
 
 He drops it adroitly into hand and pockets it. 
 He runs to door at left and opens it. 
 
 Step this way, please, Captain ! 
 
 Ushers in Litton, in full uniform. 
 
 Litton 
 And how are you this long day, Mr. Seton ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Cordially shaking hands with Litton. 
 
 My dear boy! Welcome home! I trust you 
 are back on a long leave ! 
 
 Sits at desk again. 
 
 Litton 
 
 I return to India to-morrow ! What is it you 
 wish to say to me ? 
 
 Seton 
 To-morrow? But — your wound? 
 
 Litton 
 A mere scratch ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 171 
 
 Seton 
 
 Taking up newspaper to refer to it. 
 
 A mere scratch indeed, when it took the Vic- 
 toria Cross to heal it ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Would that all wounds were no deeper, and no 
 cross harder to bear ! 
 
 Hands busby to Smithers, who places it on 
 table behind pile of tin boxes. Exit Smithers. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Referring to paper. 
 
 Here's all England ringing with praises of the 
 man who — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Snatches paper from Seton. 
 
 I didn't come from India to hear you read the 
 newspaper ! Why did you send for me ? 
 
 Seton 
 
 To confer with you on a matter connected with 
 the Crawford estate ! 
 
172 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 About to sit, leaps up. 
 
 There is nothing more to be said on that sub- 
 ject! The debt is discharged, and the matter 
 closed ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Legally, yes ; but something remains to be said 
 in equity! 
 
 Litton 
 
 I do not want equity since I never have had 
 justice — Where's my bear-skin? 
 
 Looks about for busby. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Yet if you would consent to meet your ex- 
 creditor I am sure the outcome would be most 
 agreeable ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Striding forward. 
 
 An income would be more agreeable to me ! I 
 refuse to meet my ex-creditor ! 
 
 Seton 
 Come, don't say that ! I have arranged to bring 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 173 
 
 you together! — In fact, my client is waiting now 
 to see you! 
 
 Places Litton in chair. 
 
 Smithers ! 
 
 Smithers enters. 
 
 Smithers, show in the Heir of Crawford ! — Par- 
 don, Captain, but trust an old man's judgment, 
 it is for the best ! 
 
 Smithers 
 
 Ushering in Fanny. 
 The Heir of Crawford ! 
 
 Fanny starts amazed at seeing Litton. Seton 
 signs her to keep quiet. Litton has turned 
 his back squarely, so that he does not see her. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Come, Captain — we have gone too far to turn 
 back! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Doggedly, with folded arms. 
 I haven't gone too far to turn back ! 
 
 Fanny had advanced as if to go to him., but at 
 this she starts back, repelled. Smithers exit. 
 
 Seton 
 My client greets you in a friendly spirit — 
 
174 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 I don't hear him ! Is he a deaf mute? 
 
 Seton 
 
 Not at all ! But — while you maintain this hos- 
 tile attitude, all communication must be carried 
 on through me ! — Come, Captain — 
 
 Approaching Litton. 
 
 it is not like you to turn your back upon the 
 
 enemy ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sneering. 
 
 Enemy! — Gentlemen only quarrel with gentle- 
 men! 
 
 Seton 
 
 And my client is — 
 
 Litton 
 
 No gentleman — or he wouldn't force himself 
 
 on me! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Well — Hm ! — even were I to concede the point 
 my client has another claim on your considera- 
 tion ! 
 
 Leading Fanny back of desk. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 175 
 
 Captain ! Turn ! Forgive ! Let mercy and truth 
 meet together, then will peace and righteousness 
 kiss each other on the spot ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Savagely. 
 
 Kiss him ! I'd like to skin the fellow ! 
 
 Fanny, startled, jumps back. 
 
 I put it to ye, Mr. Seton : how can I forgive what 
 I have not forgotten — never can forget ? 
 
 Seton 
 What, Captain? 
 
 Litton 
 
 In a low voice. 
 
 'Twas my father's supposed debt to the Craw- 
 ford estate that bowed his head and broke the 
 heart in him with a shame which belonged as little 
 to him as to God's angels ! 
 
 Seton 
 Yes? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Continuing, while Fanny, whose face shows 
 surprise and remorse, cries quietly. 
 
 On his dying bed I promised him to take up 
 
176 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 the burden — as I would have vowed my very soul 
 to clear his name ! Now, this man — knowing this 
 — what does he? 
 
 Seton 
 He dies, acknowledging his error! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Aye! But his successor, knowing that, what 
 does he? Makes restitution, you would say? 
 Devil a bit ! Calls for everything ! Takes a tech- 
 nical advantage which would put Shylock to the 
 blush! — Does the Heir of Crawford enjoy all 
 this? 
 
 Bitterly. 
 Fanny turns away, crying. 
 
 Seton 
 
 The Heir of Crawford listens ! But — my client 
 considered that the end to which the sum was to 
 be applied might justify the means. 
 
 Litton 
 
 He put an end to my means! Can he justify 
 
 that? 
 
 Fanny shakes her head "No." 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 177 
 
 Seton 
 
 The sum was needed to aid a charity ! A noble 
 charity ! Come, Captain, does not that move you ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 A charity! Of all queer traits in the Heir of 
 Crawford, the greatest of these is charity! — Ha, 
 ha! 
 
 Loud, explosive, scornful laugh, that makes 
 Fanny start. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Oh, but consider! Perhaps a home for or- 
 phans ! 
 
 Lays a hand on Litton's shoulder. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Doggedly. 
 
 I'm an orphan ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Suppressing amusement. 
 Or a refuge for homeless dogs — 
 
 Litton 
 I'm a homeless dog ! 
 
1 78 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Seton 
 Or an — an asylum for indigent bachelors— 
 
 Litton 
 I'm an indigent bachelor! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Taking Fanny's hand. 
 
 Or — to bestow a marriage portion on a deserv- 
 ing young person — 
 
 Litton 
 
 I'm a deserving- young person — and as for a 
 marriage portion — ! See here, Mr. Seton, six 
 months ago I was suitor for the hand of a girl — 
 far away the sweetest girl in all England ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Musingly. 
 
 Strange fact, but this touch of human nature 
 runs like a thread of gold through the grayest 
 woof! Strange — but we old lawyers are sure to 
 find, everywhere, tied up in bundles of yellow old 
 documents, at the top of a mortgage, or the bot- 
 tom of a will, hidden among dead and buried is- 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 179 
 
 sues, always last, but never least, like a bar of 
 sunshine in a dark room — the sweetest girl in all 
 England ! 
 
 Puts his arm about Fanny. 
 
 Litton 
 
 In a positive tone. 
 
 Not at all,, sir! There never was a case like 
 mine! From Mother Eve down there never was 
 a girl so sweet as this one ! — How was I to ask a 
 girl who ought to have the best the world can 
 yield to> share the fortunes of a beggar ! 
 
 Seton 
 My client says : Marry her all the same, if — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Your client ! Bad 'cess to him, what has your 
 client got to say about me and my — 
 
 Seton 
 
 My client says : Marry her all the same — if she 
 
 loves you ! 
 
 Fanny nods emphatic assent. 
 
180 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Aye — if she loves me ! How could I tell ! — 
 
 Fanny hides face on Seton's shoulder. 
 
 How could I press my suit when my suit was in 
 chancery! — I suppose she lost faith in me — and 
 then — there was some one else ! 
 
 Fanny starts, signals No ! No ! No ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Moves toward Litton. 
 
 Some one else ! Are you sure ? 
 Litton 
 
 Shrugs shoulders. 
 
 I wasn't left in much doubt! Love is far- 
 sighted, when he isn't blind ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Quizzically. 
 
 He hasn't always eyes in the back of his head, 
 though ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 He looks before him, sir, even when his head 
 
 is turned completely ! But — 
 
 Groans. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLA1R 181 
 
 — how could I speak to her ! There was a bit of 
 a misunderstanding — and exit Lettarblair Litton 
 with the devil to pay! — Now is there anything 
 more to be said ? Now is the Heir of Crawford 
 satisfied ? 
 
 Seton 
 
 No! Nor shall I be till I have joined your 
 
 hands ! 
 
 Goes to Fanny and takes her hand. 
 
 Captain, my client is almost at your elbow ! 
 Litton 
 
 Shouts savagely. 
 
 Get thee behind me, Satan ! 
 
 Fanny starts back. 
 
 Seto 
 
 N 
 
 I make one final appeal ! I have set my heart 
 on joining your hands ! There is every reason 
 why you two should know and love one another ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 The Heir of Crawford may love me all he 
 damn pleases — 
 
 Fanny starts, shocked. 
 
1 82 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 — to me he has been merely a legal obstacle ! I 
 swear I will never know him as a man ! 
 
 Fanny laughs. 
 
 And now, unless he desires to contemplate the 
 back of a deeply-injured human being he had bet- 
 ter withdraw. I wish to go to St. James's, and 
 he is in my way ! 
 
 Fanny moves toward the door, as if to go, but 
 Seton detains her, considering. Then, with 
 a new idea, motioning her to remain silent, 
 he leads her up and conceals her behind the 
 curtains. This done, he opens and closes the 
 door ostentatiously. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Impressively. 
 The Heir of Crawford withdraws ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Rises, turns about with a long-drawn breath 
 of relief. 
 
 Phew ! One can breathe freely, at last ! The 
 fellow polluted the very atmosphere! 
 
 Seton 
 Try some tobacco, Captain ! 
 
 Takes cigar-case from pocket and offers cigar 
 to Litton, who accepts it. 
 
The Heir of Crawford may love me all he damn pleases — " 
 
 Page 181 
 
CAPTAIN LETT ARBL AIR 183 
 
 There is one thing more to be settled about the 
 Crawford estate ! 
 
 Litton 
 Is there no end to the Crawford estate? Hang 
 the Crawford — 
 
 Seton 
 
 Sitting and cutting off end of cigar. 
 Hang it by all means! It will soon be your 
 own to do with as you please! — Captain Litton, 
 according to the will of the late John Robinson, 
 the Crawford estate is to be made over to you on 
 the marriage of the present heir, Frances Had- 
 den! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Frances Hadden— Fanny — John Robinson — 
 the Crawford— What does this mean ! 
 
 Pauses in the act of lighting cigar and replaces 
 the spirit-lamp on the table. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Exactly what I have said ! 
 
 Turns about in chair, away from Litton. 
 
1 84 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 John Robinson was your father's unscrupulous 
 friend — 
 
 Litton 
 
 But — his son — the fellow who was here just 
 now — ? 
 
 Coming forward eagerly. 
 
 Seton 
 Died — years before his father ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Horrified. 
 Have I been abusing a ghost ! The Lord for- 
 
 Seton 
 
 Not at all ! John Robinson, Senior, left his 
 property to the child of his only daughter — 
 Frances Hadden ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Tenderly. 
 
 Fanny ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 But on his death-bed he executed a deed of 
 transfer — -wishing to repair the injury done to 
 your father — 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 185 
 
 Litton 
 Poor old Dad ! 
 
 Seton 
 — giving the estate to you, at such time as 
 Fanny shall marry — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Beginning to grasp it. 
 
 Then Fanny is — ? 
 
 Seton 
 The present Heir of Crawford. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Tenderly. 
 
 Fanny, now ! To think of that ! 
 
 Fiercely. 
 
 Then why haven't I known it? 
 
 Seton 
 Hm, well — it was not necessary ! Besides, you 
 swore you wouldn't meet your creditor ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 You — don't — mean — to say — ? 
 
 Looks about room. 
 No, no ! Impossible ! 
 
1 86 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Seton 
 What is? 
 
 Litton 
 
 That Fanny has been here! I should know if 
 she were within a mile of the place! 
 
 Seton covers a laugh with his handkerchief. 
 
 Then 'tis with the dead I have been fighting the 
 battles of the dead — and Fanny is the rose of 
 peace that has blossomed on the battlefield ! 
 
 A pause, slight, but solemn. 
 Why did she want this money? 
 
 Sharply. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Fanny wished to secure part of her fortune, 
 without his knowledge, to the man she loves ! 
 
 Litton 
 Poor — poor little Fanny ! 
 
 Seton 
 Nay ! I think it for the best ! 
 
 Litton 
 Of course, she knows nothing of this ? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 187 
 
 Seton 
 
 I communicated it to you first, in view of your 
 speedy return to India ! 
 
 Turning about in chair, takes from drawer of 
 desk two documents. 
 
 Here is a copy of the will ; and here — 
 
 Hands one of these to Litton. 
 — the deed of transfer. 
 
 Opens will ; runs eye over contents. 
 Fanny, deeply moved, appears between the 
 curtains, watching. 
 
 Litton 
 She need never know ! 
 
 Lifts deed high in hand. 
 
 I hold in my hand that which comes like a mes- 
 sage from the dead; a tardy requital of the in- 
 jury of a lifetime, and a complete vindication of 
 the honour of my father's name. 
 
 Seton solemnly says Amen. Fanny, inaudibly, 
 echoes Amen. Litton, with a quick move- 
 ment, thrusts the deed into the flame of the 
 lamp. 
 
 Seton 
 
 Turning slowly and absent-mindedly in chair, 
 catches sight of him, and, half-rising, tries 
 to check him. 
 
1 88 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Stop ! What are you doing ? Do you realise 
 that you are destroying your title to one of the 
 finest properties in the United Kingdom ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Not at all ! Simply making it a wedding pres- 
 ent to Fanny ! An illumination in honour of 
 Fanny's wedding! — A burnt offering, as it 
 were! 
 
 Drops the burning paper, and stamps on it, 
 extinguishing it. 
 
 So perish old animosities ! 
 
 Goes hurriedly toward the door, rinding his 
 busby as he passes the table. 
 
 Good-bye ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 Agitated, turns toward him, swinging about in 
 chair. 
 
 Aren't you going to say good-bye to Fanny ? — 
 Have you forgotten Fanny? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Standing near the door. With deep feeling. 
 
 Forget her? — Never! — I can't see her again, 
 though ! God bless her ! — Good-bye ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 189 
 
 Goes hurriedly, closing the door sharply be- 
 hind him. Seton swings about in chair, 
 away from door, as he wipes his glasses. 
 Fanny advances, and, kneeling, picks up the 
 charred deed, then suddenly bows her head 
 on Seton's knee in a passion of tears. He 
 smooths her hair tenderly. 
 
 Change of Scene 
 
 Scene II 
 
 On the following day in the garden at Beechwood. To 
 the centre of the picture a stately tree spreads its shade oyer 
 a rustic bench and a table, on which are apples, and daisies 
 in a vase. On the right stands an old, moss-stained, vine- 
 wreathed sun-dial. Paths lead in all directions among trim 
 flower beds, clumps of shrubs and trees. In the distance is 
 a golden vista. Everything betokens peace and old-fash- 
 ioned exquisiteness seen through the soft hazes of a mellow 
 afternoon. Hyacinth is sitting, listening adoringly to the 
 Dean, who is seen approaching playing on his zither, Be- 
 lieve me, if all those endearing young charms. 
 
 Dean sits by Hyacinth. 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 With a sigh of rapture as the Dean ends. 
 I could listen to vou for ever ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 Touched, 
 
 My dear Hyacinth \ 
 
190 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Hyacinth 
 
 Taking her gloves and parasol from the table. 
 Does Fanny know that Lettarblair is coming? 
 
 Dean 
 Oh, no ! It is to be a surprise ! 
 
 Hyacinth 
 I think you mentioned the six o'clock train. 
 
 Dean 
 
 Rising and giving Hyacinth his hand. 
 
 True, my clear ! We had better be starting. 
 My horses are such conservatives they are apt to 
 be behind time ! 
 
 Exeunt Dean and Hyacinth. Enter Litton. He 
 looks about cautiously. Pinckney and Jorkins 
 follow him. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Stay by the mare, Jorkins, and— you know 
 what to' do! 
 
 Jorkins 
 
 Salutes, and exit. 
 Aye, aye, sir ! 
 
Believe me, if all those endearing young charms " Page i8g 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 191 
 
 Litton 
 
 And you, Pinckney — whistle if those fellows 
 
 grow unmanageable — and for the rest, keep your 
 
 eyes shut, no matter what you see! — Then when 
 
 the last echo of Kitty Tyrrell's hoofs has died 
 
 away, give the detectives this little token, and this 
 
 note. 
 
 Hands money and letter to Pinckney. 
 
 Pinckney 
 
 Hm ! I'd like to cane the fellow before I help 
 him escape ! Surely he deserves some punish- 
 ment S 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sh! — You're a bit of a sinner yourself! And 
 perhaps he has a conscience somewhere! — Go, 
 now, quick! 
 
 Pinckney 
 It goes against the grain, but — 
 
 Exit. Enter Merivale. 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Well, Litton ! I have always disliked you cor- 
 dially ! Well, you have your revenge ! 
 
1 92 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sadly. 
 
 God knows I don't want it, Merivale! Tis not 
 the sweet thing 'tis cracked up to be! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 You cut me out with the woman I wished to 
 marry — and I — I forged your name ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 But for the grace of God I might have forged 
 my own name, Merivale! — And — and you can 
 make restitution, you know ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Sits on table. 
 Of course I must make restitution, or suffer a 
 most undesirable punishment — or both ! 
 
 Litton 
 Have you the money with you ? 
 
 Merivale 
 All I could lay hands on ! Unfortunately I had 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 193 
 
 spent three hundred pounds, not calculating on its 
 being required of me — at any rate, so soon ! 
 
 Laughs bitterly, slapping breast. 
 
 Nine thousand, seven hundred pounds ! Seton in- 
 timated that I must hand it to him to-night in the 
 presence of the Dean and yourself ! 
 
 Litton 
 Hand it over now, man ! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Rising, crosses to R. 
 
 Write me an acknowledgement ! 
 
 Takes envelope from breast, counts out the 
 money it contains and lays it on table. 
 
 Nine — five — two ones. Nine thousand, seven 
 hundred. 
 
 Litton hands him a card on which he has been 
 writing. 
 
 What's this? You say "receipt for amount in 
 full—?" 
 
 Litton 
 
 Putting envelope with money in breast. 
 
 It shall be the full amount when Seton gets it. 
 
194 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Hm ! You're a generous enemy, Litton ! I 
 may find time to like you better when I am break- 
 ing- stones at Botany Bay ! 
 
 Bitterly. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Merivale, 'tis to save you from that I brought 
 you here. Quick, man, quick ! Jorkins is wait- 
 ing for you over yonder ! You are to ride Kitty 
 Tyrrell to the station. 'Tis all arranged; your 
 passage taken. In a new world you can start on 
 a new life! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Suppose I decline to accept your kindness ! 
 
 Pinckney is heard to whistle a warning. 
 
 JORKINS 
 
 Putting head round corner. 
 
 Captain, time's up! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sure, in another minute you won't have a fight- 
 ing chance to accept it or decline! — I needn't re- 
 mind you of the alternative! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 195 
 
 Merivale 
 
 I accept! — You and Fanny will doubtless enjoy 
 many a good laugh together over my— blunder ! 
 
 Litton 
 For her own sake, from me she shall never hear 
 of it. And if anything can redeem you in my 
 eyes, 'tis the thought that in your own way you 
 may have cared for her! — Now go! And — 
 and — , , 
 
 Slapping Merivale on back. 
 
 I don't want to preach to ye, Merivale, but re- 
 member that honesty is the best policy— and even 
 if it isn't, stick to it all the same, Merivale! 
 
 Merivale 
 
 Breaking down. 
 Oh, God forgive me ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Solemnly. 
 
 Amen ! And bless you, too, Merivale ! 
 
 Merivale 
 Good afternoon, Litton. 
 
 Recovering himself, speaks with assumption of 
 jauntiness. 
 
i 9 6 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Don't forget to hand that envelope to Seton, and 
 mention to him that I am unable to keep my ap- 
 pointment with him ! 
 
 Exit. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Looks after him and sighs. 
 Poor dear old Merivale ! 
 
 Sits on the table, and, taking a letter from 
 pocket, reads it to himself, kisses it, then 
 reads it aloud several times with different 
 intonations, holding it out at arm's length. 
 Rises, repeating the words. Whispers them. 
 Sits on bench and spreads out the letter on 
 his knee, reading it. 
 
 "Come back to me! Fanny!" — Look at that, 
 now ! — "Come, back, to, me, Fanny !" Ha, ha, ha, 
 ha! Just look at it smiling up at me! Hear it 
 calling with her very voice ! "Come! Back! To! 
 Me ! Fanny ! — Come-back-to-me-Fanny !" — Ha, 
 Ha, Ha! "ComebacktomeFanny — Come — back — 
 to— me — " 
 
 Rises, kisses letter, and exit left, still reading it. 
 Fanny enters. Polly follows her. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Looking at sun-dial. 
 
 Oh, dear! Do you believe this tells the time 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 197 
 
 right, Polly ? The shadow takes so long to creep 
 around, to-day! 
 
 Polly 
 Yes, dear! I shouldn't wonder if the earth 
 moved more slowly altogether till the Irish cousin 
 comes ! 
 
 • Picking out an apple and taking a large bite. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Sighing. 
 
 It feels that way ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 But I think, all the same, the trains may run on 
 time for the sake of the other passengers ! 
 
 Munches apple. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Two mortal hours before he gets here ! And 
 then— ah, me ! How he must despise me ! 
 
 Polly 
 How funny for him to come all the way down 
 here just to despise you. 
 
 Munches apple. 
 
198 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I wrote and asked him to. I mean, to* come! 
 I couldn't let him go away forever without tell- 
 ing him that I know how noble he is ! — And then 
 there are some affairs to settle — and then — ah, 
 me! 
 
 Polly 
 
 And then they lived happily for ever afterward ! 
 Ah, me ! 
 
 Mimicking Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Nonsense, Polly ! Do you think I have no self- 
 respect! Do you think I — Oh, no! He will go 
 away, and I shall be like a widow or a nun ! Just 
 as if he could ever care for me now ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Takes up a daisy and gives it to Fanny, then 
 selects one for herself and plucks out its 
 petals. 
 
 We'll see !— There ! That's for you ! And this 
 one's for me! — Loves me; loves me not; loves 
 me; not; loves; not; loves me! True for you! — 
 We'll try again ! Why don't you begin, Fanny ? 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 199 
 
 Fanny 
 I'm afraid! 
 
 Polly 
 
 Plucking another daisy. 
 
 'Sme; 'sme not; 'sme; 'sme not; loves me! — 
 Of course ! Make haste with yours, Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 The risk is too great that way, because if it 
 isn't Loves me, it has to be Loves me not ! — I'll 
 try a longer road! — "He loveth me; right heart- 
 ily ; all silently ; distrustfully ; a fortnight hence ; 
 with confidence ; he loves me all in all ; with secret 
 smart; with all his heart; till death do part; a 
 little ; not—" Oh, dear ! 
 
 Polly 
 Well? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 It comes out, "Not at all!" Lying daisy! I 
 can not, will not believe it ! 
 
 Flings away the plucked daisy. 
 
200 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 Polly 
 
 Still plucking. 
 
 Loves — Not — Loves — Not — Loves ! Look, 
 
 Fanny ! 
 
 Holding up a bunch of stripped daisy heads. 
 
 See what a bunch of "He Loves Me's!" 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, Polly, you are the luckiest girl ! How do 
 you manage it that it conies out "Loves Me" 
 every time? 
 
 Polly 
 
 It's very simple! I count the petals first; and 
 if they're an even number I begin on "Loves me 
 not," while if they're odd I start with "Loves 
 me !" And then it has to come out right ! Life is 
 so much happier if you look at things in that way, 
 Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Perhaps it is ! 
 
 Goes to sun-dial and looks at it. 
 
 How slow you are ! Aren't you ever tired of wait- 
 ing for your own shadow ? 
 
" Oh, when he comes I shall say — I shall say — " Page 201 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 201 
 
 Polly 
 
 And when he comes what will you say to him ? 
 
 Litton approaches, still reading letter. He 
 starts on seeing the two girls, but at a sign 
 from Polly pauses to listen to Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 In rapturous tones, not seeing Litton. 
 
 Oh, when he comes I shall say — I shall say — 
 
 Clasping hands, rapturously, turns and sees 
 him. Very coldly. 
 
 Good afternoon, Captain Litton! 
 Litton 
 
 Good afternoon ! 
 
 Polly 
 
 As usual Polly is de trop — Loves me — Loves 
 me not ! 
 
 Exit, mocking Fanny. 
 
 Fanny 
 Nice day, isn't it! 
 
 Litton 
 Ah, Fanny, I'm not here to talk about any- 
 
202 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 thing so inconstantly constant as the weather ! 
 I've come to — 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Putting the sun-dial between them. 
 
 No, please. Not a word till I have had my say ! 
 I wrote, asking you to come, before you go away 
 forever, because I want you to know that I know 
 — I want to explain — 
 
 Litton 
 
 My heart ! Don't explain anything ! Your let- 
 ter was sufficient! "Come-back-to-me-Fanny !" 
 — and my going away depends entirely on you! 
 I don't need to tell you that, Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 It's just this : I want you to know that I know 
 everything — just how considerate, and good and 
 noble you have been — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Impatiently. 
 
 Oh, none of that ! 
 
 Goes to her behind the sun-dial. 
 
Come-back-to-me-Fanny ! " Page 202 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 203 
 Fanny 
 
 Retreating toward table. 
 
 No, please! I want to finish. I want to say 
 that I can not accept so great a sacrifice. You 
 must take back your own. 
 
 She leans on the table. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Sits on bench. 
 It is not mine, Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Emphasising with her fan. 
 
 ' Oh, but it is ! It is ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Absolutely not. There is not a paper in exist- 
 ence on which I could base a claim. That you 
 can not change. You're the Prince and I'm the 
 pauper still ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, what shall we do! I want you so to have 
 it. I have wanted it all along ! 
 
 Litton 
 You know there is something I care for more 
 
204 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 than anything else in the world. That you can 
 give me ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 With passion, flinging away her fan. 
 
 No, you shan't ask me that ! 
 Litton 
 
 Picks up the fan. 
 Ah, now, Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Don't you see if you were to ask me to marry 
 you now I should always feel that you had done 
 it out of pity ! You see, it was for you, and you 
 only, and always you, all along, even when I 
 seemed to mistrust you ! And you were so noble ! 
 I ought to be on my knees to you ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanning himself. 
 
 So you ought ! So you ought ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I did such terrible things to you. I told Mr. 
 Seton to squeeze you for the money ! I thought 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 205 
 
 you were a corporation or a railroad! But all 
 the same it was for you ! 
 
 Sobbing. 
 
 Litton 
 
 My darling ! Thank Heaven I'm neither a cor- 
 poration nor a railroad, the squeezing will come 
 so much easier on that account ! — I'd sooner have 
 you do 1 it than old Seton ! 
 
 Rises and goes to her, but she motions him 
 back. 
 
 Well, what shall we do ! 
 
 Fanny shakes head despairingly while wiping 
 her eyes. With a new idea. 
 
 I'll tell you, Fanny! If it's any balm to your 
 blessed little heart you shall ask me to marry you ! 
 Royalty does that, you know, when it desires to 
 ally itself with the lowly; so that it won't be any- 
 thing out of the way ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Relieved. 
 
 Oh, I will ! 
 
 Heroically. 
 
 But— 
 
 Moves a few steps away to the left. 
 
 You must refuse me if you want to ! 
 
2o6 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 
 Airily. 
 
 That's of course ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Taken aback. 
 
 Oh! 
 
 Litton 
 Well? 
 
 Fanny makes a futile effort to speak. He mim- 
 ics her. 
 
 Fanny 
 I don't know how to begin ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Haven't ye had my graceful example to profit 
 by? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Well, then — 
 
 Marches stiffly toward him. 
 
 Captain Litton, will you marry me ? 
 Litton 
 
 Shudders. 
 
 Dear me! You'd have sent for a policeman 
 and ordered me from the house if I had taken 
 that tone ! Much more deferential, Fanny ! 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 207 
 Fanny 
 It's harder than I thought— Captain Litton, 
 please will you marry me? 
 
 Litton 
 Och, but you mustn't spring it on a coy crea- 
 ture that way! You must lead up to it, now, 
 
 Fanny ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Oh, dear ! — But how ? 
 
 Litton 
 You must seek to gain my ear with protesta- 
 tions of undying affection, and incidentally, 
 throw in a few tributes to my charms! Allude 
 frequently to my eyes ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Well, then- 
 Breaks off, scuffing her foot among the fallen 
 leaves, while Litton imitates her. 
 
 I think you are quite nice-looking — at times ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanning himself, as if propitiated. 
 
 Ah-h! 
 
208 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Fanny 
 
 And — I'm very fond of you — and — 
 
 Breaks off, puzzled how to go on. 
 
 Litton 
 
 In a patronising tone. 
 
 Persevere! Use more impassioned eloquence! 
 
 Fanny 
 I admire you ! I love you ! 
 
 Litton 
 Much too cold and commonplace! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I think you are perfectly beautiful! I adore 
 you ! I worship the very ground you walk on ! 
 
 Approaches him. 
 
 Litton 
 
 Condescendingly. 
 
 Hackneyed, but much better ! 
 
 Fanny 
 Listen to me, I entreat you. See- — 
 
 Kneels in front of him. 
 
 I am on my knees to you ! 
 
" Hackneyed, but much better ! " Page 208 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 209 
 
 Litton 
 
 Why, what makes you do that! It must be 
 very uncomfortable ! 
 
 Fanning himself. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Rises indignantly. 
 
 It isn't fair, at all ! I won't have anything more 
 to do with you ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Ah, now you're beginning to make an impres- 
 sion! And if you were to go just a few steps 
 away — 
 
 Detains her by his tone as she is about to leave 
 him. 
 
 not very far, you know — I should instantly seek 
 
 to lure ye back again ! 
 
 Fans himself. 
 
 Fanny 
 
 I never behaved so to you ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 With feeling. 
 
 No, indeed ! When one day you let me think 
 you loved me well enough to marry me, and a 
 week afterward — 
 
210 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 Fanny 
 
 With deep feeling. 
 Oh, Lettarblair, it was all a mistake ! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Then — if I were to tell you that I could not 
 live without you — ? 
 
 Fanny 
 
 And if I were to ask you not to try to — ? 
 
 Litton 
 
 Fanny — dear, dearest Fanny! 
 
 He takes her into his arms. Enter the Dean, 
 Hyacinth and Mr. Seton. Fanny breaks 
 from Litton and goes to sun-dial. 
 
 Dean 
 
 My boy ! Bless your honest face, here you are ! 
 — It was all a stupid mistake ! 
 
 Seton 
 
 United to a very pretty bit of legal complica- 
 tion! 
 
 Litton 
 
 Yes, ha, ha! I was the stupid mistake, and — 
 
 He takes Fanny's hand. 
 
CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 211 
 
 I am going to be united to the pretty bit of legal 
 complication ! 
 
 Enter Pinckney and Polly. 
 PlNCKNEY 
 
 Aha ! I told you so ! 
 
 Dean 
 
 In tone of indulgent reproof. 
 
 Pinckney, sir! The occasion does not call for 
 
 frivolity ! 
 
 He hands Hyacinth to seat and places himself 
 beside her. 
 
 Polly 
 
 Taxing Fanny. 
 
 Ah, Fanny ! Pie loves me — Loves me not ! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 Taking a daisy and plucking the petals. 
 
 He loveth me ! — 
 
 Litton 
 
 Plucking the petals with her. 
 
 Right heartily! 
 
 Fanny 
 
 All silently; 
 
212 CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR 
 
 Litton 
 Distrustfully ! 
 
 Fanny 
 A fortnight hence — 
 
 Litton 
 With confidence ! 
 
 Fanny 
 He loves me — Not at all ! 
 
 Litton 
 With secret smart ! 
 
 Fanny 
 With all his heart ! 
 
 Litton 
 Till death do part ! 
 
 Fanny 
 A little— 
 
 Litton 
 
 All in all! 
 
 Polly and Pinckney, Hyacinth and the Dean 
 follow with daisies of their own ; Seton with 
 one all alone. At the close Litton takes 
 Fanny into his arms. 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 X58 
 
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