615 
 
Price 25 Cts, 
 
 A 
 
 Day at 
 
 Happy Hollow 
 
 School 
 
 By 
 
 I^ettle CooK Van Derveer 
 
 A new play of the "Deestrict 
 Skule" type, abounding in up-to- 
 date wit and clever drolleries. A 
 city automobile party of six gives 
 a sharp contrast to the country 
 lads and lassies. May be given by 
 any number from a dozen up. 
 The more the better. No hard 
 parts. Lots of fun. Songs, etc., 
 may be introduced if desired. A 
 capital play to make money for 
 church or school . 
 
 Copyright, 1910 
 By March Brothers 
 
 MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 
 208. 210. 212 Wriilht Ave.. Lebanon. 0. 
 
An Anti -Saloon Play 
 A Washington Song 
 A Book of Dialogs 
 
 — BY — 
 
 ARCHIBALD HUMBOLDT 
 
 We publish no more important items than these. 
 TTiey are too new for our catalog. 
 
 Cbe Saloon must 60 
 
 An anti-saloon play. A powerful arraigfnment 
 of the saloon, made into a most engaging dialog, 
 with enough plot to carry it along. A terrific 
 bombardment of hot shot, embracing facts, com- 
 parisons, log^c, song and story. More effective 
 than a dozen addresses. Should be used in every 
 saloon fight, and made a part of every church and 
 school entertainment. For high school pupils or 
 other young folks. Two males, three females ; 
 Three-quarter hour. 15 cents. 
 
 tbe Song of m l>atcbct 
 
 A humorous song for Washington's Birthday, 
 It recounts the story and cites a parallel, also 
 humorously points a moral. The range is suited 
 to children's voices; the music is most pleasing. A 
 climax for every Washington program. 25 cents. 
 
 School Plays for festive Days 
 
 More than a score of the richest, spiciest origi- 
 nal dialogs for all grades, from primary to high 
 school, and for mixed grades. Some are instruct- 
 ive, some are ethical, most are humorous, all are 
 practical, and every one is a winner. No cos- 
 tumes, stage settings or scenery required. Can 
 be given on any stage with the best results. No 
 other collection of plays so good, so practical, so 
 enjoyable. 30 cents. 
 
 MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers, 
 208, 210, 212 Wright Ave^ - Lebanon, Ohio 
 
A Day at 
 
 Happy ITollo^v 
 
 Scnool 
 
 By 
 Lettie Cook Van Derveer 
 
 Marck Brotkers 
 
 Publisners 
 208, 210, 212 WrigLt Ave., Lelanon, O. 
 
- P5 <S,35 
 
 >^1 Vz.^ 
 
 Copyright, 1910, 
 By March Brothers. 
 
 TMP96-006819 
 ©CI.D ??3l^:. 
 
A Day at Hapipy 
 Hollow^ Scnool 
 
 By LETTIE COOK VAN DERVEER 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Setting — Interior of schoolroom. Chairs ar- 
 ranged in rows for scholars ; desk and chair for 
 teacher; blackboard. 
 
 (Enter teacher. Severe-looking, wearing eye- 
 glasses. Arranges books and papers on desk. 
 Rings bell.) 
 
 (Enter scholars, singly and in groups, talking 
 and laughing until teacher again taps bell. They 
 wear varied costumes, gingham aprons, etc. On 
 entering remove coats, caps, shawls, hats and 
 bonnets — in season and out of season — hanging 
 them on hooks in the wall or on backs of chairs. 
 Hair in pig-tails or curls tied with ribbons or 
 shoestrings in all manner of fashions.) 
 
 Each has basket, bag or tin dinner-pail. 
 
 Teacher opens roll-book and proceeds to call 
 roll. 
 
 Teacher. "Annabel Adams." 
 
 Annabel Adams. 'Tresent." 
 
 Teacher. "Bessie Bolitsky." 
 
4 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Bessie Bolitsky. *T-r-r-esent !" 
 
 Teacher. "Curiosity Cornhusk." 
 
 Curiosity Cornhnsk. "Present." 
 
 Teacher. "Dennis Dockerty." 
 
 Dennis Dockerty. "Present." 
 
 Teacher. "Etta Elephant." 
 
 Etta Elephant (fat child). "I'm here." 
 
 Teacher. "Fanny Finney." 
 
 Fanny Finney (brogue). "Hyer." 
 
 Teacher. "Geraldine Griggs." 
 
 Geraldine Griggs. "Present." 
 
 Teacher. "Henry Hoskins." 
 
 Henry Hoskins. "Pr-r-esent." 
 
 Teacher. "Isaac Ibsen." 
 
 Isaac Ibsen. "We's both here." 
 
 Teacher. "Silence! Next time answer as you 
 should." (Proceeds.) "Ira Ibsen." 
 
 Ira Ibsen (very faintly). "Present." 
 
 Teacher. "Joshua Judkins." 
 
 Joshua Judkins. "Present." 
 
 (Other names may be added.) 
 
 Teacher. "First class in geography, come for- 
 ward." 
 
 (Advance Annabel, Dennis, Etta, Curiosity 
 and Joshua.) 
 
 Teacher. "Now Annabel, you tell me this. If 
 to the right of you is the South, and on your 
 left the North, and in front of you the East — 
 what's behind you?" 
 
 Annabel thinks a moment, then starts to cry. 
 "Boo hoo! I knowed it. I told ma you'd see 
 them buttons missin' off mv waist." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 5 
 
 Teacher. "Ridiculous! I mean the West. 
 Now listen children ! Does anybody remember 
 what the population of China is?" (All shake 
 heads negatively.) 
 
 Teacher. ''Well, the population of China is so 
 great that two Chinamen die every time you take 
 a breath." 
 
 (Etta immediately starts puffing furiously. 
 Keeps it up until spoken to.) 
 
 Teacher. ''Dennis Dockerty go to the board 
 and draw the map of New Jersey." 
 
 (Dennis goes, but draws instead a tree, one 
 branch of which is longer than the others, and 
 has on it three disks representing fruit.) 
 
 Teacher (just then observing Etta's flushed 
 face and energetic puffs) : **Why Etta Elephant, 
 what's the matter? What on earth are you 
 doing?" 
 
 Etta Elephant. ''Killing Chinamen. I never 
 did like them foreigners what me father calls 
 aliens, and I'm getting rid of them as fast as I 
 can." 
 
 (Teacher throws up hands in exasperation. 
 Turns to blackboard.) 
 
 "Why Dennis Dockerty that's not the map of 
 New Jersey." 
 
 Dennis. "Please, ma'am, my big brother says 
 New Jersey's like a fruit tree, 'cause it's got a 
 Long Branch, three Oranges and a Lemon." 
 
 Teacher (meditatively) : "Y-e-s, East Orange, 
 West Orange and South Orange — but where''s 
 the Lemon?" 
 
6 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Dennis (saucily). ''You're the Lemon." 
 
 Other Scholars. "O-h-h !" 
 
 Teacher. ''Go to your seat." 
 
 (Dennis goes, shuffling his feet and sulking for 
 some time.) 
 
 Teacher. "Curiosity, your father is a sailor; 
 would it be possible for him to start to-day to 
 go round the world, and keep sailing always in 
 the same direction till he came back to his start- 
 ing-point?" 
 
 Curiosity. "No, Miss Fitzimmons, pop's laid 
 up with rheumatism." 
 
 Teacher. "Dear me ! What ails you all to be 
 so stupid to-day. Joshua, have we anything in 
 our country as wonderful as the great volcano, 
 Mt. Vesuvius, which continually pours out smoke 
 and molten lava?" 
 
 Joshua. "Sure — give Niagara Falls a chance, 
 it will put the whole thing out in a minute." 
 
 Teacher. "Very good. You may take your 
 seats." 
 
 (Class obey.) 
 
 TeacJier. "Next is the class in General Infor- 
 mation. Forward." 
 
 (Advance Bessie, Geraldine, Fanny, Henry, 
 Isaac and Ira.) 
 
 (In the meantime Etta is seen chewing gum 
 vigorously, and planting her feet conspicuously 
 in the aisle as she figets about.) 
 
 Teacher (impressively). "Bessie, tell me what 
 you would think if you saw the Stars and Stripes 
 waving over the field of battle ?" 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY- HOLLOW SCHOOL. 7 
 
 Bessie (innocently). "I'd think that the wind 
 was blowing.'' 
 
 Teacher. "Awful!" (observes Etta). "Etta 
 Elephant, take your gum out of your mouth, and 
 put your feet in immediately." (Etta does this 
 literally in pantomime.) 
 
 (Just then Curiosity pipes up, raising hand as 
 she asks). "Teacher, did you ever see a hair 
 die?" 
 
 Teacher. "Certainly not." 
 
 Curiosity Cornhusk. "Or ink stand?" 
 
 Teacher. "No! Do be quiet." (Turns to 
 class.) "Now do you know whether any one is 
 going to try to discover the South Pole ?" 
 
 Fanny. "Oi ain't going." 
 
 Teacher. "Oh, Fanny, my child, you must not 
 say, T ain't going.' You must say, T am not 
 going.' It's like this: *I am not going; he is 
 not going; she is not going; we are not going; 
 you are not going; they are not going.' Now, 
 can you say all that Fanny?" 
 
 Fanny. "Shure Oi can. 'There ain't nobody 
 going.'" 
 
 Teacher waves her aside in despair. Asks 
 others: "Which of you can describe the back- 
 bone?" 
 
 Geraldine (raises hand, standing on one foot 
 in her eagerness to answer). "The backbone is 
 something that holds up the head and ribs, and 
 keeps you from having legs clear up your neck." 
 
8 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Teacher, ''Now, children, what is a cat cov- 
 ered with? Is it wool? Is it fur? Is it feath- 
 ers? Is it hair?" 
 
 Curiosity (pipes up) : "Say, ain't you honest 
 never seen a cat?" 
 
 (The others answer in chorus) : "Fur." 
 
 Teacher. ''Geraldine, what is dew ?" 
 
 Geraldine. "The earth revolves on its own 
 axis three hundred and sixty-five times in twenty- 
 four hours. This rapid motion through space 
 causes it to perspire. This is called dew." 
 
 Teacher. "Henry, where was the Declaration 
 of Independence signed?" 
 
 Henry. "At the bottom, ma'am." 
 
 Teacher. "What is mathematics, Isaac?" 
 
 Isaac. "Dunno." 
 
 Ira. "Me neither." 
 
 Teacher. Well, mathematics is the science 
 that treats of measurement or numbering. For 
 instance : If it takes one man twelve days to build 
 a house, then twelve men can build it in one 
 day. That's mathematics." 
 
 (Isaac and Ira put heads together over pencil 
 and paper while teacher asks next question.) 
 
 Teacher. "Bessie, if your mother bought four 
 baskets of grapes, the dealer's price being a quar- 
 ter a basket, how much would the purchase cost 
 her?" 
 
 Bessie. "You never can tell. Ma's great at a 
 bargain." 
 
 (Isaac and Ira wave their hands to attract 
 attention.) 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 9 
 
 Teacher, "Well, Isaac? Well, Ira?" 
 
 Isaac. "Say Miss Fitzimmons, me'n Ira's fig- 
 gered out that two hundred and eighty-eight 
 men will build it in one hour; seventeen thou- 
 sand two hundred and eighty, in a minute, 
 and—" 
 
 Ira (interrupts). "And one million, thirty-six 
 thousand eight hundred men will put it up in a 
 second, an' — " 
 
 Teacher. "There, that will do — that's quite 
 enough. I see you understand the meaning of 
 mathematics fully." 
 
 Curiosity (raises hand and asks). "Please, 
 teacher, did you ever see a stone step, or a bed 
 spring, or a apple turn over?" • 
 
 Teacher. "Curiosity Cornhusk, I want you to 
 stop asking questions at once. Don't you know 
 that curiosity once killed a cat?" (Curiosity is 
 thoughtful.) Children, you may all take your 
 seats." 
 
 Curiosity. "Please, teacher, what was it the 
 cat wanted to know?" 
 
 Teacher (sinks into chair). "Somebody bring 
 me a glass of water, quick!" 
 
 (Geraldine gravely goes to pail in the corner 
 and brings a large tin dipper full. Teacher re- 
 vives.) 
 
 Teacher. "Children I wanted to speak to you 
 about that poor family who have just moved into 
 the old brown house in the Hollow. The father 
 is just getting up from a sick-bed and not able 
 to work yet and I hear there's scarcely a thing to 
 
10 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 eat in the house, and to-morrow is Thanksgiving, 
 you know. I do wish we could send them a 
 good dinner. Can any of you think of a way 
 to manage it without asking too much of our 
 parents ?" 
 
 (A loud knock is heard at the outer door. 
 While teacher answers it scholars occupy them- 
 selves with throwing spit-balls, and various 
 pranks of school children. She returns.) 
 
 Teacher. ''There are two automobiles just 
 down the hill. They got off the main road by 
 mistake, and one of them is broken down, and 
 the men are trying to get it fixed up. They 
 wanted to know if there was any place near here 
 where they could get something to eat. The one 
 at the door says they're 'positively starving,' 
 and would be willing to pay a good round sum 
 for anything fit to eat. You know there is no 
 house nearer than old Mr. Dawson's and — " 
 
 Annabel. "Don't send 'em there, teacher ; 
 Mis' Dawson is just doin' her washin' to-day, 
 and she'll most likely have a cold bite." 
 
 Teacher. "That's true — and the next place is 
 Mr. Temple's—" 
 
 Curiosity. 'T saw 'em drivin' off to town as 
 I came by, an' the house was all shut up." 
 
 Teacher. "Then there's quite a stretch be- 
 tween there and your place, Bessie." 
 
 Bessie. "Mercy ! Don't send them there, Miss 
 Fitzimmons. Mother's makin' mince-meat and 
 cookin' up pumpkin for pies, and she'd be all 
 upset." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 11 
 
 Teacher. "Well, it appears there isn't very 
 good promise of lunch for these wayfarers un- 
 less we help them out. What do you say if we 
 sell our lunches to them and take the proceeds 
 to buy supplies for the folks down in the Hol- 
 low ? We only have a short session after recess 
 on account of the holiday, so you wouldn't get 
 so terribly hungry before you go home. I'll 
 leave you here for awhile, and if you decide to 
 make this sacrifice you can place your lunches 
 on my desk." 
 
 (Scholars immediately begin discussion; some 
 for, some against proposed disposal of lunches ; 
 all talking at once and moving about.) 
 
 (Presently Annabel rises, sighs and slowly ad- 
 vances to desk, placing basket there, and saying:) 
 "I hate to give up that piece of pumpkin pie, but 
 1 couldn't relish it thinking of that Hollow fam- 
 ily; I've been hollow myself." (This is funnier 
 if the speaker is a stout girl.) . 
 
 Bessie (follows her example). "All I hope is 
 that the stew don't all get et up before I get 
 home to-day." 
 
 Curiosity. "Guess I'll keep mine." 
 
 Dennis. "I love my lunch, but oh ! them hun- 
 gry kids." (Goes forward.) 
 
 Geraldine. "Guess I'm as generous as any- 
 body." (Adds her lunch.) 
 
 Etta to Curiosity. "You'd ought to be 
 ashamed of yourself." (Arises.) "My lunch is 
 out in the cloak-room ; I'll go get it." 
 
12 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 (While she Is gone, Curiosity puts her lunch 
 with the rest, sighing:) ^'I'll do it, but I guess 
 I'll die like that Curiosity cat ; I'll be so hungry." 
 (Thoughtfully.) ''Wonder what that cat did 
 want to know anyhow." 
 
 Joshua. "Guess if they can stand them bis- 
 cuits of Sis's, I oughtn't to kick." 
 
 (Etta returns with huge basket, which she 
 deposits with an air of importance on the desk. 
 Looks contemptuously at Curiosity.) 
 
 Fanny. ''And I bet you we won't have nothin' 
 but fried praties and onions for supper. But 
 maybe they ain't got even them." (Puts bag 
 with others.) 
 
 (Isaac and Ira go. up together, saying:) "And 
 there's ours." 
 
 Henry. ''Here's mine, too." 
 
 Etta to Curiosity. "There, you see ; every- 
 body's give up their lunch but you, you little 
 stingy, contrary, stubborn, selfish, tight-fisted, 
 over-fed, pie-faced pig you — " 
 
 Curiosity. "Are you through?" 
 
 Etta, "Yes." 
 
 Curiosity. "Ain't you got nothin' more to 
 say?" 
 
 Etta. "No." 
 
 Curiosity. "Well, all of them things you called 
 me you are. I put my lunch there when you 
 went after yours." 
 
 Etta (repentently). "Oh, I take it all back." 
 
 Curiosity (cordially). "All right, you're wel- 
 come." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 13 
 
 (Enter teacher.) 
 
 Teacher. "Ah, this looks as if everybody has 
 been generous. Fm proud of you. You're all 
 true friends in need. But I was sure you'd do 
 it, so I spoke to the gentleman at the door and 
 he says, he will consider it a bargain at any price 
 we say, and will be back with his friends soon. 
 Now for the recitations. Each one of you try 
 to recite something, if only a stanza. And after 
 all have recited, I will call for the fire drill, and 
 all be ready to respond immediately. Don't hesi- 
 tate, do as you would if the building was really 
 on fire. Now, Annabel you're first on the roll, 
 so you begin speaking." 
 
 Annabel comes forward, bows, announces : 
 "Mary's Little Lamb." Bows again, and recites 
 as follows : 
 
 *'Some folks say that fleas is black, 
 
 But that ain't true I know, 
 For Mary had a little lamb 
 
 Its fleas was white as snow." 
 
 Teacher. ''Now Bessie, it's your turn." 
 
 Bessie. ''Me and Curiosity's got one together." 
 
 Curiosity. 
 
 "I asked my Pa a simple thing, 
 Where holes in doughnuts go?' 
 Pa read his paper, then he said, 
 'Oh, you're too young to know.' " 
 
 Bessie. 
 
 "I asked my Ma about the wind, 
 Why you can't see it blow? 
 Ma thought a moment, then she said, 
 *0h, you're too young to know.' " 
 
14 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Both together. 
 
 "Now why on earth do you suppose 
 They went and licked us so. 
 Ma asked, 'Where is that jam?' I said, 
 'Oh, you're too young to know.' " 
 
 Teacher. "Now, Dennis." 
 Dennis recites. 
 
 "The lady in the street-car 
 Was glaring down at me. 
 Because I chanced to have a seat 
 And she did not, j^ou see. 
 
 "But I rose very quickly 
 
 And offered her my seat. 
 'Twas a question whether she or I 
 Should stand upon my feet. 
 
 Ouch !" 
 
 Teacher. "Now we'll have yours, Etta." 
 Etta. "Please, teacher, I ain't thought of mine 
 yet." (Nudges Fanny.) "You g'wan, Fanny." 
 Fanny (grinning and twisting apron). 
 
 "Hyer Oi stand, all ragged and dirty, 
 Ask me me name, an' Oi'll run like a turkey." 
 
 Teacher. "Geraldine next." 
 
 G era I dine. 
 
 "When mother was a little maid 
 
 She was so very good, 
 I really often think that she 
 Must have been made of wood. 
 
 "She never, never played a trick 
 On her pet pussy 'Tib,' 
 She would not tease; she would not tell 
 The tiniest little fib. 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 15 
 
 "She always kept her dresses clean, — 
 Her curls were brushed just right; 
 She never cried and coaxed that she 
 Might stay up late at night. 
 
 "And very often when I've been 
 In mischief and been bad, 
 I think, 'Ain't it an awful shame 
 That I took after Dad.'" 
 
 Teacher. "Now, Henry." 
 
 Henry (very rapidly and jerkily). 
 
 "There was a young girl from Boo Loo 
 Who wanted to catch the two-two. 
 Said the porter, "Don't hurry, or scurry or worry, 
 It's a minute or two to two-two." 
 
 Teacher. "Isaac and Ira, I suppose you have 
 one between you?" (They nod.) "All right.'" 
 
 Isaac. 
 
 "The verse you write 
 You say is written. 
 
 Ira. 
 
 Isaac. 
 
 Ira. 
 
 Isaac. 
 
 Ira, 
 
 You fly your kite 
 But not your kitten. 
 
 The gas you light 
 Is never litten. 
 
 The things you drank 
 Were doubtless drunk 
 
 The boy you spank 
 Is never spunk. 
 
 A friend you thank 
 But never thunk. 
 
16 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Isaac. 
 
 Ira. 
 Isaac, 
 
 Suppose you speak 
 Then you have spoken. 
 
 But if you sneak 
 You have not snoken. 
 
 The shoes that squeak 
 Have never squoken." 
 
 Teacher, "What is yours, Joshua ?" 
 
 Joshua, 
 
 "Grandma, here's a little gumdrop." 
 
 "Thank you very much, my sweet. 
 What a thoughtful little boy you are 
 To bring Grandma a treat." 
 
 "Did you like that gum-drop, Grandma?" 
 
 "Yes, my dear, 't was very nice." 
 "Ain't it queer now, Towsey didn't 
 'Cause he spitted it out twice." 
 
 Teacher. "Dear me, Joshua, perhaps you'd 
 better let me choose your next piece. Now, Etta, 
 if you are ready, we'll have your piece as the 
 final recitation." 
 
 Etta. 
 
 Once there was a little boy, whose name was Robert 
 Reece, 
 And every Friday afternoon he had to speak a piece. 
 So many poems thus he learned, that soon he had 
 a store 
 Of recitations in his head, and still kept learning 
 more. 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 17 
 
 And now this is what happened; he was called upon 
 one week 
 And totally forgot the piece he was about to speak ! 
 His brain he cudgelled ! not a word remained within 
 his head! 
 And so he spoke at random, and this is what he 
 said. 
 
 "My Beautiful, my Beautiful, who standest proudly by, 
 It was the schooner Hesperus — the breaking waves 
 dashed high ! 
 Why is the Forum crowded? What means this stir 
 in Rome? 
 Under the spreading chestnut tree, there is no 
 place like home. 
 
 "When Freedom from her mountain height cried, 
 Twinkle little star, 
 Shoot if you must this old gray head. King Henry 
 of Navarre ! 
 Roll on, thou deep and dark blue crested crags of 
 Drachenfels, 
 My name is Norval on the Grampion Hills, ring 
 out wild bells !" 
 
 "If you're waking call me early, to be or not to be, 
 The curfew must not ring to-night. Oh ! woodman 
 
 spare that tree ! 
 Charge, Chester, charge ! On, Stanley, on ! and let who 
 will be clever ! 
 The boy stood on the burning deck, but I go 
 on forever !" 
 
 (Bows and takes seat.) 
 Teacher (smilingly). ''Now, children, what 
 
 would you say if I should make a few remarks? 
 All together (as in fire drill "Form a line and 
 
 march outdoors." 
 
 Teacher. "What! what!'' (Teacher taps bell 
 
 sharply.) 
 
18 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Etta (excitedly). "That's the fire bell. Hurry 
 up!" (All rush out, leaving teacher standing 
 amazed.) 
 
 (She turns to audience and says :) "Well, ain't 
 that the beatenest?" (Also goes out.) 
 
 (Curtain.) 
 
 ACT II. 
 Setting — Same as Act. I. 
 
 (Miss Fitzsimmons sits at her desk arranging 
 some papers. Laughter and talking is heard, 
 followed by the entrance of the automobile 
 party of six persons.) 
 
 Mrs. Morrison, a stout, elderly lady. 
 
 May Morrison, her daughter, affected young 
 lady. 
 
 Betty Bennet, May's friend. 
 
 Charley Chadwick, May's beau, something of 
 a "smarty," but a "good sort." 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Brown, an affectionate couple. 
 
 May Morrison (ecstatically). "Oh, what a 
 perfectly darling place! The veritable little old 
 red schoolhouse." 
 
 (Miss Fitzsimmons sniffs audibly as she looks 
 her over disdainfully). 
 
 Charley Cradzvick (taking her hand and skip- 
 ping with her down the aisle, sings) : 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 19 
 
 "School-days, school-days 
 
 Dear old Golden Rule days. 
 Readin' and writin' and 'rithmetic. 
 
 Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick. 
 You were my queen in calico, 
 
 I was your bashful, bare-foot beau. 
 And you wrote on my slate, 'I love you, Joe,* 
 
 When we were a couple of kids." 
 
 Mrs. Morrison (advances to the teacher's 
 desk). ''Good morning. Miss — ah?" 
 
 Teacher (shortly). ''Fitzsimmons." 
 
 Mrs. M. '*Ah yes, of course. You are the 
 teacher, I presume?" (Miss Fitzsimmons nods.) 
 "Awfully nice of you to extend your hospitality 
 to us in this way." 
 
 Mr. Brozvn (joins in). "Yes, indeed, its great 
 of you to help us out." 
 
 Charley (facetiously). "Oh, no, Brown; this 
 is a case of our being 'taken in.' " 
 
 (The girls giggle). 
 
 Miss Fitssimmons (after a contemptuous 
 glance in his direction, responds quite graciously 
 to the others). "Fm sure Fm glad we could be 
 of service to you, and the children are pleased at 
 the prospect of helping the poor family, which 
 your generosity has made possible." 
 
 Mr. Brown. "Oh, don't mention it." 
 
 Miss Fitzsimmons. "And you'll find all the 
 lunches on those seats" (pointing to them). "I 
 hope you will enjoy them." (Turns to her 
 papers. The others murmur their thanks and 
 proceed to remove their wraps, all but Mrs. 
 
20 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Brown, who draws her fur more closelv about 
 her throat.) 
 
 Mr. Brown. Cold, dearie?" 
 
 Mrs. B. (plaintively). "Simply freezing, 
 honey." 
 
 Charley (aside to May). ''Buzz! Buzz!" 
 
 Mr. Brown (bustling about). ''Where is the 
 radiator, anyhow?" 
 
 Miss Fitzshnmons. "The stove's up there at 
 the other end of the room." 
 
 Charley. "Oh, I say, Brown, let's turn our 
 attention to the baskets now and hug the stove 
 afterwards. I'm completely caved in." 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Brown gracefully agree to this, 
 and the opening of the baskets, bags and kettles 
 begins.) 
 
 (The djor in view of the audience opens on 
 a crack and Curiosity's hooded head appears 
 unnoticed by the occupants of the schoolroom, 
 and one after another the curious faces of the 
 children appear.) 
 
 Betty (gleefully). "Oh! Oh! a cup of cran- 
 berry jelly." (Takes it out.) 
 
 May. "And here are two simply luscious- 
 looking cakes with chocolate on top." 
 
 Charley. "Horray ! pumpkin pie." 
 
 Mrs. 'Brown. Oh, lovey, look ! A great big, 
 juicy cruller." (Holds it up). 
 
 Mr. Brozvn. "We'll eat it together over by the 
 stove, pet." 
 
 Charley. "Going to eat the zuhole of it?" 
 
 May. "Oh, Charley, you funny funny thing !" 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 21 
 
 (They group themselves about and arrange 
 the viands on napkins found in the baskets.) 
 
 (Just then Charley espies the faces at the 
 door, which promptly bob out of sight, except 
 Curiosity's.) 
 
 Charley. **Hello there, sis ! How's all the 
 pigs up at your place?" 
 
 Curiosity. "Oh, pretty well, thank you. How's 
 all your folks?" 
 
 (Betty claps her hands). "Good! good!" 
 (The others laugh, Charley included). 
 
 Charley. "Oh, I say ! What's your name, 
 anyhow ?" 
 
 Curiosity, "Same as father's." 
 
 Charley. Yes, I know that, but what's fa- 
 ther's now?" 
 
 Curiosity. "Same's mine." 
 
 Charley. "Well, but what do they say when 
 they call you to breakfast." 
 
 Curiosity. "They don't never call me. I al- 
 lers git there first." 
 
 Teacher. "Why, Curiosity, I thought you had 
 gone home." 
 
 Curiosity. "No'm. We thought we'd wait and 
 take our baskets home after they're through 
 with 'em." 
 
 Mrs. Morrison. "Oh, let them stay. Miss — 
 Persimmons." 
 
 Teacher. "Fj^^^simmons." 
 
 Mrs. Morrison. "Oh, yes, of course, Fitzsim- 
 mons. Let them all come in ; there's plenty here 
 for all of us and them, too." 
 
22 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 May. "Oh, yes, do. It'll be a perfect circus." 
 
 (Charley throws wide the door). "Come in, 
 come in, friends, and help us eat up your 
 lunches." 
 
 (The children, after much whispering and 
 "you go first," troop in bashfully, giggling and 
 nudging one another, and the eating commences, 
 Mrs. Morrison presiding over the distribution 
 of the lunches.) 
 
 Charley (munching a sandwich). "My, but 
 this chicken sandwich is prime. Who brought 
 it, anyway?" 
 
 Dennis (shyly). "I did." 
 
 Charley. "Your own chickens?" 
 
 Dennis. "Yes, sir." 
 
 Charley. "I should think you'd hate to chop 
 the heads off the poor chickens." 
 
 Dennis. "Oh, we get around that all right." 
 
 Charley. "How, now?" 
 
 Dennis. "Oh, we chop the chickens off." 
 
 (The grown-ups all laugh delightedly.) 
 
 Curiosity (intently regarding Miss May's en- 
 joyment of the generous portions of lunch at her 
 place and Charley's attentions toward her), asks 
 Mr. Brown, "Is he going to marry her?" (indi- 
 cating them by a nod of her head). 
 
 Mr. Brozvn. "I believe so." 
 
 Curiosity. "And buy her everything?" 
 
 Mr. Broum. "Yes." 
 
 Curiosity. "Clo's and dinners and ice-cream 
 and things?" 
 
 Mr. Brown. "I presume so." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 23 
 
 Curiosity. "Well, that man's got lots of cour- 
 age, ain't he?" 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Brown laugh amusedly, and 
 Charley turns from a conversation with May to 
 ask), "Hello! now what's the joke?" 
 
 Etta E. "Oh, its her" (motions to Curiosity), 
 "she's et so much of my tomato ketshup she's 
 gettin' sawcy." 
 
 Curiosity. "Well, you et that big apple out of 
 my basket." 
 
 Etta. "Well, here, plant the seeds and you can 
 have a whole orchard." (Holds them out to her 
 provokingly. ) 
 
 Charley (to Annabel). "Well, sister, did you 
 make this pie?" 
 
 Annabel. "No, sir. Ma did, though, and 
 she'll write off how if you want me to ask her 
 to." 
 
 Charley. "Now that's kind of you. Pray do. 
 How'd you like a good receipt for catching rab- 
 bits?" 
 
 Annabel (staring). "Wh-y! I — I'd like to 
 have it." 
 
 Charley. "Well, you crouch down behind a 
 thick stone wall and make a noise like a turnip." 
 
 Annabel. "O — h!" (thinks it over). 
 
 Mr. Brown (to Mrs. B.) "Isn't this black- 
 berry jam delicious, sweetness? (Gives her a 
 spoonful). "But you'd know it reminds me of a 
 painful blunder I made once when visiting the 
 country, which I never want to repeat." 
 
24 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Mrs. Brozvn. "Dear me ! Did you mistake a 
 stranger for an acquaintance, honey?" 
 
 Mr. Brown. No, not exactly that, but I mis- 
 took a bumblebee for a blackberry." 
 
 Mrs. Bromn. Oh, my!" 
 
 Annabel (to Charley). "I can tell you a bet- 
 ter way to catch 'em." 
 
 Charley. Catch what?" 
 
 Annabel. ''Why, them rabbits." 
 
 Charley. ''How now?" 
 
 Annabel. "You go and sit quietly in a bed 
 of cabbages and look natural." 
 
 (The laugh is on Charley.) ' ' 
 
 May (to Bessie Bolitsky). "Now I expect 
 you little girls know a perfectly awful lot, don't 
 you ? Can you tell me how many ribs you have ?" 
 
 Bessi (squirming and gigglii g.) "I don't 
 know, ma'am. I'm so awful ticklish I never 
 could count 'em." 
 
 Mr. Brozvn (to Fanny). "I hear we pass your 
 house on our way to the turnpike. I'd like to 
 stop and see your father about buying some of 
 these apples (eating one). Think he is home?" 
 
 Fanny. Oh, yes-sir. He's worrikin' down at 
 the end of the back lot where the pigs is. You'll 
 know father 'cause he's got a hat on." (A burst 
 of laughter). 
 
 Fanny (indignantly). "Well, I don't see what 
 you're laughin' at. The hired man's got on a 
 cap." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 25 
 
 Mrs. Morrison. "1 suppose you children know 
 lots about history. Now who can tell me the 
 name of the first man?" 
 
 Henry. "George Washington." 
 
 Mrs. M. "Why do you think George Wash- 
 ington was the first man?" 
 
 Henry. "Because he was first in war, first in 
 peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen." 
 
 Joshua. "No, Henry. You're way off, George 
 Washington couldn't a' been the first man 'cause 
 my history-book says he married a widow; so 
 there must a' been another man way ahead of 
 him." 
 
 (Laughter from grown-ups.) 
 
 May. "You surely are well informed about 
 Washington. How about Lincoln?" 
 
 Geraldine. "We's just writing compositions 
 on him to hand in next Monday. I've got mine 
 here if you'l like to hear it." 
 
 May. "I'd simply love to." 
 
 Betty. "Oh, yes, do read it." 
 
 Geraldine (takes paper out of book and reads). 
 "Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky at a 
 very early age. His father moved the family to 
 Ohio, floating down the Mississippi. If he had 
 not been killed by a murderer he might be living 
 to-day. He was an intelligent man and could 
 easily have been President of New York City." 
 
 (The grown-ups try to hide their smiles.) 
 
 May. "Perfectly remarkable." 
 
 Mrs. Morrison (to Isaac). "Have another 
 sandwich, my boy, or a pickle or something." 
 
26 A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 
 
 Isaac. "No'm, thanks ; I'm full." 
 
 Mrs. M. "But surely you are not finished yet. 
 Why here is some delicious pie." 
 
 Isa^c. *'Yes'm, I'm saving my neck for that." 
 
 Mrs. Brozvn (to Annabel). "And this little 
 girl has stopped eating, too. Do take another 
 cake." 
 
 Annabel (with a sigh, as she takes the prof- 
 fered cake). "Well, I've quit swallerin', but I 
 can chaw yet." 
 
 Mrs. M. (rising and going to the teacher's 
 desk, where Miss Fitzsimmons is lunching while 
 she marks and aranges papers) . "Well, my dear 
 Miss Fitzgibbons — " 
 
 Teacher. "Fitzsimmons." 
 
 Mrs. M. "Oh, of course, Fitzsimmons. My 
 dear Miss Fitzsimmons, this has been a most 
 enjoyable and unique occasion to us." 
 
 Teacher. "I'm glad, I'm sure." 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Brown join them.) 
 
 Mr. B. "We'll remember it as one of the 
 events of our lives, won't we, Rosebud?" 
 
 Mrs. B. "Indeed we shall. It makes one wish 
 she were a little schoolgirl once again." 
 
 Mr. B. (fondly aside). "And I a little school- 
 boy to carry her books." 
 
 Mrs. B. "You dear, foolish boy." 
 
 Charley. "But, oh, say, Mrs. Morrison, be- 
 fore we go let's have a game of something or 
 other. What say, everybody?" 
 
 May and Betty. "Oh, yes, let's." 
 
 Children. "Oh let's do." 
 
A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. 27 
 
 Charley. "What shall it be?" 
 
 Children cry. "Ring-around-a-rosey," *Tuss- 
 in-the-corner" and ^'London Bridge." 
 
 Charley. "Well, let's see ; that's three to choose 
 *rom. ^ow many say Ring-around-a-rosey, hold 
 up your hands." 
 
 (A few of the children's hands are raised.) 
 
 Charley. "Now Puss-in-the-corner. How 
 many am I bid for Puss-in-the-corner?" 
 
 (A few more hands are raised.) 
 
 Charley. "Now for London Bridge. Going — 
 going — gone." 
 
 (The other children and all of the grown-ups 
 hands are raised except the teacher's and Mrs. 
 Morrison's, who stand aside laughing.) 
 
 Charley. "London Bridge has it. You come 
 on, too, Mamma Morrison and Miss Teacher. 
 Everybody forward. Who'll be London Bridge? 
 You do, Betty and May, and come on, the rest 
 of you. Line up behind me and we'll storm the 
 bridge." 
 
 (The two young ladies join hands, and the 
 others, headed by Charley — Mrs. Morrison and 
 the teacher protestingly joining, coaxed by the 
 children — pass under the arched hands, singing: 
 
 "London Bridge is falling down, 
 Falling down, falling down. 
 London Bridge is falling down, 
 My fair lady." 
 
 (May and Betty drop their hands around the 
 person going under the arch as the word "lady" 
 is sung.) 
 
Qne copy del. to Cat. Div. 
 
 m 
 
 I 
 
 OCT 20 1910 
 
Sllir^? N?m Ban^B 
 
 EFFIE LOUISE KOCXJLE. 
 
 Author of "In Music- Land," *'Kris Kringle 
 Jingles,'^ "The Colonial Song Novelties," etc. 
 
 The songs of this composer are always 
 more than singable ; they combine a quaint 
 freshness, and a novel appropriateness that 
 is unusual. These new songs will be wel- 
 comed because of their real merit and use- 
 fulness. 
 
 J\ mmx Cullaby. 
 
 Surely a provoker of pleasant dreams. 
 Beautiful lullabies are always popular, and 
 this one will prove unusually so because of 
 the happy combination of sensible words, 
 appropriate for any singer, the soulful mu- 
 sical setting, the effective expression, the 
 dainty and fitting piano part, and the sooth- 
 ing, fascinating melody. For adult singer, 
 medium voice (d to e). 35 cents. 
 
 Eittic Cbanksdiving Workers. 
 
 An action song for one or more little 
 girls. Describes the preparation for the an- 
 nual feast-day most effectively. A. pleasing 
 melody which little singers will relish. 
 Not diflScult. Especially appropriate for 
 Thanksgiving, but can be adapted to any 
 Other day. 25 cents. 
 
 CbiinkfHl BoDby. 
 
 A solo for a small boy. A delightful 
 thanksgiving number. Expressive words, 
 a tuneful melody with range suited to a 
 small boy's voice, and an appropriate ac- 
 companiment. Bobby gives good reasons 
 for being thankful — from a boy's view- 
 point. 25 cents. 
 
 MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers, 
 208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., Lebanon, Ohio. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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