g!W^^ I m I' ii I -i^'^^-^i. CHILDHOOD, MAIDENHOOD, WIFEHOOD, MOTHERHOOD, L THE DAUGHTER HER HEALTH, EDUCATION AND WEDLOCK Homely Suggestions for Mothers and Daughters BY • WILLIAM M. CAPP, M.D. Philakkli'hia am> Loxuox F. A. DAVIS, PUBLISHER 1891 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1891, by F. A. DAVIS, In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. D. C, U. S. A. Pliihidelpliia: The Mediial Bulletin Printing House, [■l:\l Filbert Street. \S^ .\,^^ PREFACE. In her new estate, a young wife found rea- sons to deplore the insufficiency of an educa- tion, which, though good so far as it went, was totally wanting upon subjects relating to present and prospective duties. It was now a part of her career, as mother, to guide her young daughter through the circle of infancy, girl- hood, wifehood, and maternity, — the four stages in the round of woman's life. In the absence of instructions, a duty so important was quite formidable. The following pages were written by espe- cial request, to give some information of which she felt the need. Suggestions upon subjects (V) VI PKEFACE. of general and obvious interest only were contemplated, which might be advantageously worked out in daily home-life. For the sake of brevity, disconnected paragraphs are used and long discussions are avoided. The aim is to enable the mother to second more intelligently the efforts of the medical adviser when he comes professionally into the family, and to offer some practical considerations affecting woman in her family relation. Siib- sequently, a request that the suggestions be printed led to this offer of them to the public, and it is hoped that they will be found of interest and value to a wider circle of readers. PHliiADELPHiA, Pa., November, 1890. No. 1715 Spruce Street. CONTENTS. Preface — These suggestions were requested because the ordi- nary education was not sufficiently practical, p. iii. Introdcctory — New requirements in woman's education — Her peculiar vocation and round of life, p. 3. TOPICS. The Infant — The centre of interest, 4. Training, 5. The mother's incidental training, 6. Preparations for its advent, 7. Its care at birth, 7. Its size and rate of growth, 9. Its bath, 11. Warmth, 13. Food, 14. Nursing, 23. Weaning, 80. Medicines, 31. Sleep, 33. Chafed skin, 35. Teething, 36. The Child — Its character influenced by early surroundings, 39. Disposition dependent upon health, 41. Food, 42 Air, 43. Training, 45. School-education, 48. Uncon scions imitation, 53. City and country rearing, 54 The Girl — At the age of puberty, 55. Menstruation, 57-66 Leucorrhcea, 66. Importance of her early training, 69 Mother's duty to instruct her upon sexual matters, 70 and in household affairs, 75. Co-education of the sexes, 77. Consideration of marriage, 79-87. Betrothals, 88, (vii) Vlll CONTENTS. The Wipe — Fundamental ideas of marriage, 89. Sterile unions, 94. Maturity, 95. Indications of pregnancy, 96. Duration of pregnancy, 97. Personal care during pregnancy, 98. End of pregnancy, 100. Interrupted pregnancy, 103. General Suggestions upon Health — Urinary disorders in the child, 106. Of the teeth, 109. The ears, 110. The eyes. 111. The hair, 113. Sore throats, 116. Sprains, 117. Stings and burns, 118. The feet, 119. The skin, 120. The kidneys, 121. The bowels, 124. Digestion, 126. Cleanliness, 130. Bathing, 131. Catching-cold, 133. Rest, 134. Use of stimulants, 134. Gymnastics, 135 and 137. Rules for correct walking, 136. Sym- metrical development, 139. Reference Index, 141-144. THE DAUGHTER: Her Healtli, Education and Wedlock. Woman's multiplied employments call for new and special qualifications, which must make her equal or excel the workers w^hom she displaces. She has begun an advance, in occupying new posts of responsibility in the mercantile, social, professional, and religious world, which will not soon be checked or turned backward. All this calls for special studies with special objects in view, and introduces to the managers of seminaries and schools for girls considerations of new importance. But, in meeting the requirements of further subdivisions of labor introduced by a changing civilization, there is danger that fundamental principles and fixed laws of nature may be overlooked. Woman, simply because she is w^oman, has peculiar ofiices in nature's order, which outrank all artificial claims of every kind. Whatever her special training and chosen business employments may be, her naturally- ' (1) Z THE DAUGHTEK. appointed vocations, which at any time she may be called upon to assume in some or all of their details, are those of wife, mother, and care-taker. They are, of all others, the most congenial to her tastes and most satisfying to her nature. The world over, the majority of women find their lot cast in the domestic sphere. Instruction, with special reference to its requirements, should be included in every scheme for her education, no matter what position in life she may occupy. Yet writers upon this subject do not agree when they define the studies which most merit attention during her training and best qualify for the responsibilities of after years. The ignorance concerning the simplest matters of personal and household hygiene and physi- ology, even among those who have enjoyed fair opportunities to obtain a good education, is often most surprising. There is also an apathy upon the subject which nothing startles but some sudden emergency or the occurrence of sickness, when there is little time to acquire the needed knowledge. With the subsidence of the occasion the apathy returns. The alarm at sickness and ESSENTIALS IN WOMAN'S EDUCATION. 3 the minor physical ills of life more often comes from ignorance of the nature of the trouble than from the trouble itself. A mind fortified with knowledge in these directions masters the situa- tion, and is not overa^ved by it. In many schools topics so essential, and upon which she should have a ready knowledge re- lating to her own w^ell-being and that of others dependent upon her, are never touched upon. Explicit mstruction upon important personal in- terests is not given, and it frequently happens that young women marry and attain to the con- dition of maternity before giving serious thought to their surroundings and their inevitable re- sponsibilities. The advent of the child and its helpless dependency awaken a realization of the fact that, besides the usual school-studies, many others demand attention in order to meet the practical duties of life. The fragmentary sug- gestions now modestly offered are intended to help the mother to guide her daughter through the naturally-ordered round of woman's life, — her cliildliood^ maidenhood^ wifehood^ and mother- hood. But hints only are given rather than de- THE DAUGHTER. tailed discussions, and much is left to the good sense and interested mother-love of those to whom they are addressed. -The little stranger who has just been born is the greatest gift the mother can receive. Its coming starts new thoughts in her mind, and pictures the future with possibilities, hopes, and plans not entertained before, and life, now wear- ing a different aspect, broadens in every direction. The new relations are suggestive as they gradu- ally unfold. The centre of interest is transferred to that second self, in guiding which the mother may live over again her own childhood and youth. But what mother, as she holds her firstborn in her bosom, does not promise to herself that its child- hood shall be better and happier than was her own, — no matter what her own might have been 1 Fortunate is the child whose mother has intelli- gence and perseverance to carry out the good resolution to its fullest import ; for in such ways are the true interests of the race secured, and the true advances in civilization and refinement accomplished. THE MOTHER'S TASK. The task of the mother is to tram a life which must have in turn its share of influence in shaping the progress of its day. The destiny for good or ill of some, prohably of many, will be determined by the kind of character into which the new life is developed and molded by her precept and example. Too often the novelty of the situation and personal inexperience sadly hamper the mother's efforts, and, if her own early training was incomplete, how shall she success- fully accomplish her duty '? Other claims are of lesser importance, and the demands of public in- terests, of society, or fashion, should be acceded to only as they do not obstruct the pursuit of the higher aim. There are no more compensating oc- cupations, nor soul-satisfying duties, nor further- reaching personal influences, than those which the opportunities of the devoted mother offer. The noble purpose, simple truth, self-mastery, and the cultivated intelligence are potent aids in cor- rect home training. Ideal aims, patience, and sympathetic interest, which she should bring to her aid, are forces which do not end with her life or with that of her child, but continue in widen- b THE DAUGHTER. ing circles of influence, and reach to many gen- erations yet to come. Concurrently with her child's training, the mother's character is developed. By studying the nature of the child she better understands her own. Breadth of mind, expansion of soul, and a beautiful personality may be wrought out which can be entirely missed in even the most favored social or intellectual circles of society. Not only are the interests of the child and her own bound up together, but issues of far wider importance are involved. None can foretell the story of the future, as her labors of love, intelligently put forth, shall bring it to pass. But a consideration of the needs of the body must, from the first, demand attention, and always go hand in hand with moral and intellectual training. Wise care will preserve health and vigor to the strong of body and do much to improve the condition of the weak, and life itself may be prolonged and guarded from the discomforts of sickness. The condition of the bodily health, be it good or bad, makes its impress upon the disposition just as, conversely, the state of the mind often influences the body. CAKE OF NEWBOKN INFANT. 7 The first needs of the child are for its body. Being absolutely helpless, even its con- tinued existence depends upon the amount of proper care which it receives. Preparations in advance of its coming should not be neglected, and the usual supply of necessary comforts, such as soft and warm wraps, slips, napkins, and a suitable crib, as well as such articles as are use- ful in emergencies in the sick-room, may well occupy the expectant mother's thoughts and fingers. If the doctor has not arrived at the moment when the child is born into the world, the nurse must remember that the cord should be tied only after it has ceased to pulsate and has become flat and empty, which will occur in a minute or two. Tie it about three finger-widths from the child's body, and then again an inch or so further ofl", making tight knots which will not slip. Any kind of strong string will answer for the purpose. The cord is to be cut with a pair of scissors be- tween the two ligatures. See at once that the nose and mouth are free from everything which can obstruct the breathing, and the eyes should 8 THE DAUGHTER. be gently washed with warm water. Envelop the child warmly in a soft, woolen wrap, allowing the air access to the face for free breathing, and lay it on its right side in some safe and warm place while attention is given to the mother. The cord is dressed by placing about the ab- domen of the child a bandage of flannel with a small hole in it, through which the stump is made to pass. It is thus prevented from coming into contact with the skin of the child's body, which is an important consideration. It must now be wrapped in a rag upon which has been freely sprinkled dry, powdered starch, or a mixture of dry, powdered starch 10 parts to 1 part of pow- dered subnitrate of bismuth, or to 1 part of powdered oxide of zinc. In dressing the stump of the cord, warmth and dryness are aimed at, and it should not be moistened with oil, ointments, or other wet applications. It usually separates in from five to seven days, — sometimes a little later. The band about the child's body must be loose enough to allow comfortable breathing. The lungs grow much during the first hours of life, and must have full and free play. The sighing WEIGHT, SIZE, AND GROWTH OF CHILD. 9 and crying of the child at this time serve a good purpose in developing them. -The average weight of a child at birth is six or seven pounds ; the extremes are four pounds or even a little less up to eleven pounds. The sixteen-pound babies occur only in the large stories of those interested, but are not ordinarily met with. The length is about eighteen inches, and in vigorous children there is an increase in the first two years of twenty pounds in weight and ten inches in length; in the third year, of about four pounds and about four inches; and during the next six years the increase annually is about four pounds in weight and two or three inches in height. After the tenth year the weight increases annually seven or eight pounds. The child grows most rapidly during the first two months of life. Some diseases, especially those affecting the bones, materially retard growth. Even to the end of the third month, in hand- ling the child, care must be taken to support the head, which falls forward because the strength is 10 THE DAUGHTEE. not sufficient to balance or hold it up with pre- cision. At about four months it may first attempt to sit up, but accomplishes the act much later, sitting firmly only at the tenth or eleventh month, and at this period the soles of the feet are still turned toward each other. Children begin to crawl at nine months, and soon after attempt to stand ; and walking by themselves will be accom- plished at fifteen or eighteen months. It is better not to hasten these eff'orts, but rather let them come spontaneously as strength and development may inclhie. The clothing should be so arranged as to allow entire freedom of motion. The young child must be allowed to lie upon its side on the bed, and not be held on the lap or in the arms, and when taken up or carried the greatest care must be observed to support the head and the back until the bones have become hard and the muscles strong. Baby's existence is but to eat and to sleep. It cries without tears until three or four months old. If healthy, while awake, it is always in mo- tion. Growth and development vary greatly, and are influenced by the constitution or inherited THE infant's bath. 11 vigor, by the state of the nutrition, and by the particular surroundings of the individual. -Much harm is often done to the vouns: infant by injudicious washings. The child just born has come from a high and unvarying tem- perature, and it should be subjected to the lower and changing temperatures of its new surround- ings very gradually. Rarely, if ever, is a com- plete tub-bath necessary or desirable for infants in the early days of life. Often there are parts of the body which need a special cleansing ; but, generally speaking, the free splashing of water and soap and the incidental exposure of such operations are cruel, uncalled for, and disas- trous, inasmuch as they frequently lay the foun- dation for diseases which undermine the constitu- tion or early terminate life. If the child starts life with a cold, there need be no surprise at find- ing later tendencies to such diseases as catarrh, asthma, pleurisy, or bronchitis. An excellent way is, to cleanse the newborn child in spots, where necessary, wdth a piece of 12 THE DAUGHTER. old, soft linen or a sponge, using warm water and a very minimum amount of soap, if any (it were better to use none) ; or, if tenacious material is to be removed, a little warm olive-oil on the sponge will answer better than the water. In general, if the material is not offensive in character, a delay of twenty- four hours is not objectionable, when its removal will be more easily and more safely effected by the means above indicated. It is quite probable that cleansing the skin by olive- oil, lard, or vaseline for the first few days, in pref- erence to the use of soap and water, would go far toward preventing the catarrhs so common among us. Wash the newborn baby only when needful; wash only the soiled spots, and wash them at once. This plan may be continued, es- pecially with the less vigorous infants, until the bath will not be too severe an ordeal. At once the eyes of the child should be gently washed free from any foreign particles with plain warm water. At all times when soap is employed in the bath, care must be taken to prevent its contact with the eyes, as it is apt to make them sore and cause pain. If the eyelids become NECESSITY OF WAEMTH. 13 swollen and red, or if they run matter within two weeks after birth, prompt medical treatment must be given without a day's delay, as the con- dition, if neglected, often goes on to a chronic inflammation, ultimately destroying the sight. More especially is this the case if the mother had recently sufi"ered with such troubles as leucor- rhoea. Under such circumstances, the cloths or sponges used upon the eyes must at once be boiled or destroyed, and the nurse's hands must be care- fully cleansed, that other eyes shall not become infected. -The infant must be kept warm. Its own heat is usually sufficient, if retained by a plenti- ful wrapping of soft- wool material or raw cotton, preferably the former. The hands and feet, parts furthest from the heart, must also be covered and warm. If it looks blue and cold, place a bottle or two of hot water in its bed. If it is born into the world before the doctor arrives, and is a blue- faced baby, with absence of respiration, chafe it briskly with the hand, rub upon its breast a little spirits of camphor, or dash a little cold water on 14 THE DAUGHTER. its chest, with a view to start breathing ; and, if these fail, put it at once into a bath of water as hot as one's bare elbow can stand without dis- comfort, applying a little cold water to its chest at the same time. Rub the spine gently also. Only the gentlest means should be used, but must be persevered in as long as there are any heart- pulsations, and even longer. Prompt action may induce normal breathing and save the life. Do not remit the efforts nor abandon hope too readily. Healthy infants often sigh, and it is good for the development of their lungs that they yawn and take deep breaths. The best food for the infant is that which nature provides in the breast of the mother, and nothing else will entirely take its place. It is a misfortune to the child to be deprived of it. When a substitute must be provided, however, art can do much, and children often are successfully raised upon artificial food. Still, statistics show a larger proportion of deaths among infants fed from the bottle than among those nursed at the breast. BOTTLE FEEDING. 15 The feeding-bottle must be of such construc- tion that it can be readily and thoroughly cleansed, which should be done before each feeding. One has been made with two openings, so that a stream of water may be passed through it and a swab used to insure cleanliness. In using such a bottle, one opening is closed wdth a cork or rubber stopper, and the rubber nipple for the child's mouth is adjusted to the other opening. This nipple should be of pure soft rubber, and some- what resemble nature's model in the mother, in size and shape, and in the orifice from which the food is drawn. This is not a point of indifference, for many of those offered for sale are large and clumsy. They cause the child to gag, and inflict unnecessary inconvenience wtII calculated to in- duce cross and fretful protests from the innocent victim. Usually the best and most easily obtained sub- stitute for mothers' milk is the milk of a healthy cow. It must be fresh and sweet, but is not to be given in its pure state, because cows' milk, contain- ing more of the cheesy principle than human milk, will cause distress and sickness in the infant. 16 THE DAUGHTER. When diluted, however, it will contain a less pro- portion of the fatty principle than human milk; hence, some cream must be added. Cows' milk also contains a less proportion of sugar than human milk; hence, sugar must be added. The sugar to be added is not the ordinary cane-sugar used in the family, but is known in the drug- stores as sugar of milk. The young infant's food, then, is best made of rich and fresh cows' milk, diluted one-half or more with lime-water and cream in equal parts, and with a few grains of sugar of milk and the same quantity of salt added; the whole to be warmed to the temperature of the body. It need not be inferred that the child will thrive on nothing other than the above ; but this, more nearly than any tiling else, resembles what it would receive if supplied as nature intended. It has been suggested, as anotner method, that a quantity of fresh, unskimmed cows' milk be allowed to stand for two or three hours in a tall and narrow vessel, after which the upper half FEEDING THE INFANT. 17 containing the cream must be carefully removed and reserved for the day's supply for the baby. Have also prepared, in a stoppered bottle, an ounce of sugar of milk in J pint of pure water. Have also a stoppered bottle of lime-water. Now, for each feeding of the child prepare fresh each time a mixture by taking 3 parts of the milk reserved as directed above, 3 parts of the sugar- w^ater, 2 parts of the lime-water, and a pinch of salt, and put it warm into a clean nursing- bottle. Observe that the bottle, when given to the child, is to be so held that the food will be in the nipple, and can be sucked out. ■A VERY young infant, deprived of mothers' milk, may be given a mixture containing 1 part of cows' milk and 3 parts of pure water, — preferably water which has been boiled and fil- tered, — to which should be added a teaspoonful of lime-water to every 4 tablespoonfuls of the mixture; to it also should be added a pinch of table-salt and twice as much sugar of milk. A little later in life, barley-water or rice-water, or, in case there be constipation, oat meal- water, may 18 THE DAUGHTER. be given, with an equal part of milk, and the foregoing proportion of lime-water, if needed. The food for the young child which does not nurse at the breast must always be given warm, and from a nursing-bottle. The stomach of a child five days old will not hold more than about 3 tablespoonfuls, and at three months old, and for several months subsequently, it will not hold more than twice that quantity. A tablespoonful is understood to equal as much as 4 teaspoonfuls ; and 2 tablespoonfuls equal an ounce of liquid ; and a wineglassful represents indefinitely any amount of liquid from 2 to 4 tablespoonfuls. Barley-water is made by boiling barley in water, and then straining out all the grains. It may be flavored to the taste. Rice-water and oatmeal-water are made in similar manner. The water when ready for use should not be thick and gummy, but about the consistency of rich milk. The proportions are 2 tablespoonfuls of grain to a pint of water. LIME-WATER. 19 LiME-TFATEU sliould be made by putting a piece of unslaked lime of the size of a lien's egg- into 1^ gallon or more of water. After the lime is broken down the mixture is to be well stirred several times, at intervals, and then allowed to settle for about twelve hours, when the clear water is to be decanted and thrown away. Now add to the lime which is settled at the bottom as much pure water as before. Water which has been boiled but allowed to become cold suits best. After it has been well stirred it should be put at once into a bottle and stoppered. In a few hours the lime will settle at the bottom, and the clear water will be ready for use. When required, the water may be drawn off with a siphon, or with care may be poured off clear without mixing again with the lime at the bottom. From time to time water may be added and the bottle shaken to renew the supply. It will be ready for use as soon as the water is clear. Besides being useful for the baby's food, as indi- cated elsewhere, it may be employed in dyspepsia with acidity of the stomach ; and in nausea and vomiting from an irritable stomach, it corrects 20 THE DATJGHTEK. the distress if taken with an equal quantity of milk in small wineglassful doses at intervals of about a half-hour. Externally, it is useful to bathe foul sores, and, mixed with an equal quan- tity of linseed-oil, is an excellent application to a scald or burn. -The great importance of keeping the milk for infants and invalids in good condition until required for use should not be overlooked, especially as it quickly undergoes changes which render it unsuited to the delicate stomach. It will also, if exposed, absorb from the atmosphere deleterious matter ; hence, it should be handled in scrupulously clean and closed vessels and be disturbed as little as possible. It is found, by experience in the household and hospital, that it is best preserved in wholesome condition if put, as soon as received, into clean glass bottles. These are to be temporarily stoppered with light plugs of clean, raw cotton, and immersed almost to their mouths in hot water, in a vessel over the fire, until the milk becomes warm. The water in the vessel (not the milk) is then quickly TO KEEP MILK FRESH. 21 brought, almost or quite, to a boil for two minutes, when the bottles must be corked tightly and kept in a cool place until required for use. This plan is a useful device by w^hich the milk may be kept in acceptable condition for forty- eight hours or longer, and is especially convenient during warm weather and in traveling. An apparatus for treating milk in this way, called a milk-sterilizer, consisting of bottles and a boiler, is to be found for sale in the shops. But a very little ingenuity will adapt the ordinary utensils of the kitchen to the purpose. There is no advantage in having the milk for the child brought always from the same cow, but it is extremely important that the cow which supplies the milk should be a healthy animal, and be fed on wholesome food; also, that the milk shall be fresh and protected from exposure, in closed and clean vessels, at all stages of its handling until it is used. The preserved milk and the patented and other artificially-prepared foods for young infants can never adequately take the place of mothers' milk when that is available, and even the best of them must rank 22 THE DAUGHTEE. only after fresh cows' milk with the qualiiications akeadv mentioned. •After the motlier has been made com- fortable and the newborn child is dressed, and both have had some hours of rest and sleep, it is advisable to apply tlie child to the breast to re- ceive, by this first effort, the small quantity of milk, which is a special provision of a peculiar kind, to act as a natural purge and start the bowels of the chiki into a healthy activity. Its education now begins, and it must be encouraged to suck. This operation will also have a happy effect upon the motlier by exciting the milk- glands to secrete, and will benefit her otherwise. The child is not in need of food for at least twenty-four hours, and uothiug Avhatever should be given it, unless it be a small spoonful of water soon after birth to wash and moisten its throat. This is a fact seemingly beyond the comprehen- sion of the average nurse, who surreptitiously, if not otherwise, persists in administering at once sugar-water, cracker-tea, or peppermint-water, or some narcotic or soothing mixtures, all of which THE CHILD TO THE BKEAST. 23 are abominations to be avoided as almost certain to cause colic or other troubles to the child. Both mother and child need sleep, and the sick-room should be guarded from visitors so that quiet may be maintained. As they awake, at intervals of several hours, the child may again be applied to the breast, for the reasons already given. The mother's milk in full supply may be expected in from about forty to sixty hours after delivery. The child will manifest a desire for the breast, to which it must be applied not oftener than every two hours, and about twice during the night. A healthy infant is hungry all the time, but regularity in feeding, and an observance of the intervals indicated, are im- portant in order to avoid many of the ailments of infancy which arise from overfeeding. The same rules apply to bottle-fed children, and are to be observed until the child is weaned. The infant's stomach will not hold much. Do not offer more than about 2 ounces (that is, 4 tablespoon fuls) at a time, ratlier less than more than that. If too much is given, the overdis- 24 THE DAUGHTER. tended stomach will reject it. A little less will be digested and assimilated. The glands which secrete the saliva do not develop until the third or fourth month; hence, all young children may need water occasionally to moisten the mouth, but a few drops at a time is enough, — placed on the tongue with a spoon. Often a very fretful child is quieted at once, if given a little cool water. The maternal supply of milk will proba- bly continue for about ten months, though toward the last not in as full supply as earlier, and during this time it should be the sole food of the child if sufficient in quantity and quality. This point is best determined by the appearance of the child, whose condition will indicate whether it thrives or not. During nursing the mother should have re- gard for her own diet, as unusual articles of food which derange her own digestion will, through the milk, unfavorably affect that of the infant. She must keep her bodily functions in healthy action. MATERNAL SUPPLY OF MILK. 25 If the nursing mother has not a suffi- cient supply of milk to satisfy the child, it is un- wise to resort to drugs or medication to increase it. Let her see rather that she lives under such conditions as conduce to her own best health, and uses largely a liquid diet. She may add milk, ale, beer, soups, cocoa, or chocolate to her daily diet. Beets, boiled and eaten without vinegar, have a reputation for increasing the flow of milk in nursing women. If efforts of this kind fail, the child must have a supplementary supply of food prepared chiefly from milk, as indicated in a general way on pages 14 to 21. If her flow of milk is too abundant she must diminish the quantity of liquid taken, and rather avoid or take, in smaller portions, the drinks above mentioned ; also, let her make use of an occasional laxative. In this condition a saline is preferable, such as from 1 to 4 teaspoonfuls of Epsom or Eochelle salt in a glass of hot water on rising in the morning, and a half-hour or longer before breakfasting. If artificial food is needed to supplement the mother's supply, it should be given at the regular times of nursing, 26 THE DAUGHTER. immediately after the supply furnislied by the breast. Or, it is often more convenient, if the mother's supply is insufficient, to allow the milk to accumulate in the breast during the day and to put the child to the breast at bed-time and at early morning only, and to feed from the bottle during the day-time. Sometimes the maternal supply is abundant enough, but in quality lacks the elements which nourish the child, in which case artificial food must be added to the child's diet. -Milk is the simplest and, indeed, the only food which the infant can readily assimilate. This appears plain when it is remembered that the organs necessary for the complicated function of digestion are not fully developed in the early months of life, nor until after the first teeth have come in their proper time. Hence, anything but the simplest diet put into the young child's stomach will not assimilate as food, but causes distress and may do much harm. As a rule, the most robust and best-developed children are those which are fed exclusively on breast-milk for the first nine or ten months of their lives. WET-NUESES. 27 It is a privilege for a mother to nurse her own child, and the ability to do so is often an indication of robust health. It is sur})rising that any ever seek to avoid the pleasing duty. The child thrives best when nourished in the normal manner, and the mother's life is en- riched by the tenderest sentiments awakened by the care of the helpless little dependent. There is no brighter crown of glory upon earth than the maternal devotion, and it is beautifully exem- plified as her babe is tenderly nurtured at the breast. A very large proportion of women, from an absence of milk, are not able, however, to nurse their first child. This is owing, to some extent, to the depressing effects upon health of the in- door and artificial modes of life in cities. In such cases, if it is decided to employ a wet-nurse, the utmost care in her selection should be used, as taints of disease may be transmitted to the child, or vicious habits may unfavorably infiuence it. Before such a nurse is employed she should have a recommendation from a thoroughly com- petent physician, given only after a very careful 28 THE DAUGHTER. investigation of her physical health. E-ather than have a doubt upon this matter, it is safer to rear the child with judicious artificial feeding, particularly if it is not puny and dehcate. -If the nipple is retracted or under-devel- oped, it should be gently drawn out a few times each day for some weeks before the birth of the child. Ordinarily it needs nothing to prepare it for nursing. Much bad advice is often given, such as to harden it by applications of alcoholic solutions, alum-water, and the like. As the skin should be soft and pliable, and not hard, such applications are harmful. If it is oversensitive and any treatment is needed, an occasional appli- cation of cocoa-butter or vaseline and frequent cold bathing of the part are much to be preferred. The nipples should be bathed with simple water, both before and after each application of the child to the breast. If they become sore from nursing, the treatment indicated above is best; or, after washing, an application of borax-water may be allowed to dry upon them. If they be- CARE OF THE NIPPLES. 29 come cracked or fissured after gentle cleansing with borax-water, paint them with the Com- pound Tincture of Benzoin by means of a camel's hair pencil, to protect the raw surfaces and to stimulate healing. In bad cases a shield and arti- ficial nipple may be used as a temporary ex- pedient whilst nursing. Articles of this kind of different patterns will be found in the shops. If the mother allows herself to fall asleep with the child in her arms, there is danger of injury to the child from falling ; and the child should not be allowed to sleep with the nipple in its mouth, as this objectionable practice is a com- mon cause of sore nipples. The breast should never be given to the child simply to divert or to quiet it, but should be accessible only when the child is to be fed, and the feeding operation, prop- erly performed, will engage the whole attention of both mother and child. When hunger is satisfied the child should be removed, and will usually be ready for a quiet nap. If such a course is pursued there will be little or no diffi- culty in accomplishing at the proper time the weaning of the child from the breast. 30 THE DAUGHTER. -Weaning should commence not later than about the ninth or tenth month, and be completed withm a year from bh'th, and the change of diet should be effected gradually. A diminution of the mother's supply, or a failure of the child to thrive, may earlier make it necessary. At first the artificial food may be given in place of the breast-milk onh^ occasionally, or may supple- ment it, if the child's appetite calls for more, and then more frequently until the breast is given only at night, and finally not at all. A favorable opportunity to begin to wean should be selected when the child is not ailing, and if sickness intervenes a return to breast-feeding is advisable. Probably no one kind of prepared food will suit all infants, but in the general directions given elsewhere in this book will be found useful suggestions suiting many cases. After the end of the first year, if the child is of average health and development, there must be gradually intro- duced a more solid and varied diet, such as bread and gravy (from the dish); baked potatoes smoothly mashed, with a little meat-gravy or a little butter mixed with it; soft-boiled eggs; MEDICINES. 31 flour or rice pap well boiled, and, later, finely- minced meat, — beef, or mutton, or poultry, — in small quantities. Milk should still be the chief drink, though water is always allowable; but tea and coffee liad better in all cases be with- held from children. -Medicines, like crutches, sliould be used only as temporary expedients to help in certain difficulties. It is foolish to use them when not needed, but, above all, let them be given to the baby in least amount, as seldom as possible, and only when required. It is far safer to take the advice of an intelligent medical practitioner be- fore dosing, yet there are disturbances in digestion when half a teaspoonful or less of castor-oil, mixed with as much olive-oil, for a child a few weeks or months old, will be a benefit, and it may be repeated every hour if the bowels do not move meanwhile. In small doses castor-oil will not injure, and is probably the safest and most reliable purgative medicine for children ; besides, it is one to which 32 THE DAUGHTER. they usually do not object if they have not been prejudiced against it by injudicious remarks. The repeated small doses usually suit the stomach better than one larger dose, and they can be dis- continued when the desired effect is obtained. With both children and adults a dose of castor- oil is quite disguised if given heated in four or five times as much milk and flavored with a little sugar or nutmeg, or a drop of oil of cloves or of oil of peppermint. Constipation and inaction of the bowels in an infant may sometimes be overcome by insert- ing into the bowel a small, slender splinter of white castile-soap, softened in water so that it has no sharp edges to injure the delicate mem- 'brane ; or a teaspoonful of glycerin may be injected into the bowel from a small syringe, carefully avoiding the introduction of air. Vomiting will often be relieved if all food is withheld from the child for a few hours, thus giving the stomach rest ; also a few drops of lime- water in a half-teaspoonful of water or milk may be given occasionally. But beyond such most simple remedies, unless the mother have certain KOCKING THE BABY. 33 knowledge upon the subject, she had better, for the child's good and for her own peace of mmd, seek rehable medical advice. -The mother who walks the room with the infant or rocks it in a cradle to quiet it in- flicts a great amount of unnecessary trouble upon herself and does the baby no good. It may not, at other times, suit her to walk the room or rock the cradle; but the little one, having been taught to be quiet in that way, imperiously refuses to be quieted in any other. Can anything show more plainly how easily habits are given to children, and how speedily those habits rule and tyrannize ] So far as health is concerned, not one word can be said in favor of rocking a child in a cradle, or carrying it in incessant marches around the room. When one considers that older persons become seasick on far less provocation, if exposed to the swaying and jarring of rail or ship travel, the doubt must arise whether the baby is quieted by gratification or is overcome by vertigo and tem- porary nerve exhaustion. It certainly is good for baby to receive the caresses and fondlings which 34 THE DAUGHTEK. mother-instinct prompts, and the mother, too, is refreshed by them ; but they are more in order when the child is wide awake, fed, cheerful, and in the mood for a little romp. No tumult or noise is desirable when sleep is sought. The witchery of silence and of gentle brooding best brings the soothing balm. Healthy infants pass most of their time in sleep, and it ordinarily comes with but little wooing. Let the mother see that its clothing is smoothly arranged, free from disturbing folds and knotty masses, and with no pins to pierce the tender flesh, its person clean, and everything made comfortable about it. Then, with quiet air and manner and soothing voice, the little one may be taught the habit of gently sinking into calm and refreshing sleep, such as is not to be gained by any manner of agitation in a rocker or otherwise. The baby may often be restless from sleeping for several hours in one position, and if that is changed its sleep will be prolonged without wak- ing. Hunger may at times be expressed by cry- ing and sleeplessness. It should never sleep in CHAFED SKIN. 35 the same bed with the mother or with any one else, but in a crib by the bedside, within arm's reach, and be covered with soft- wool bed-clothing, of which it will not require as much over it as an adult. If too warmly covered, it will be restless and kick the covers off; but if just right, it will be apt to sleep quietly. -If the baby's skin is chafed or irritated, bathe it with cool bran-water. This is made by scalding a handful or more of bran in a quart of hot water, which, after cooling, should be strained before use. Or, water containing a teaspoonfnl of borax to, a quart or two will be soothing. If particular parts of the body become sore from discharges or perspiration, they may be. gently cleansed with plain water or with bran-water, and, after being dried with a soft towel (by sop- ping rather than by rubbing), should be dusted from a puff-ball or a powder-bag (made of thin, old flannel) containing finely-powdered starch; or, there may be applied a little ointment, made of 1 part of oxide-of-zinc ointment to 8 parts of lard (without salt), or to 8 parts of vaseline. 36 THE DAUGHTEK. It is better not to use soap on the young baby's skin ; but, if necessary for the cleansing of especially soiled places, use a pure and mild white castile or olive-oil soap, unscented and uncolored. These remarks, however, are not intended to indicate an aversion to the use of soap, but rather to inculcate a regard for the baby's delicate skin. When the child has passed beyond the time of young babyhood, soap w^ill be a good friend. At about the seventh month after birth the child will probably have the first teeth. The time varies greatly in individuals. In delicate children they come later, and occasionally a child is born with a tooth already through the gum. As a rule, the lower front teeth appear first, coming in pairs, one tooth on each side of the mouth, followed about a month later by the corresponding pair upon the upper jaw. At about twelve months there will be eight teeth and at two years sixteen. Preceding their ap- pearance the gums become swollen, hot, and painful, and the saliva, forming in excess, runs TEETHING. 37 from the mouth. The child is irritable, flushed, and restless, and there usually occurs some dis- turbance of the bowels, commonly diarrhoea. There may also appear a rash over the body. This all indicates a nervous derangement, and calls for judicious diet and general careful man- agement, besides extra patience, on the part of the mother. The symptoms subside when the teeth come through. During teething the child manifests a desire to bite on something, and a soft-rubber ring will give it great comfort ; also, the nurse may gently rub the gums with a finger or a small piece of ice wrapped in the corner of a handkerchief If it is necessary, in rare cases, to lance the gums, it should be done by a medical man only, and in such manner as not to injure the tooth beneath. The irritable condition of the child at this time is relieved very much by such attention to the bowels as insures their free dis- charge daily. There may be needed a small dose or two of castor-oil, or of castor-oil and olive-oil in equal parts, — say, a teaspoonful, — which may be repeated in an hour, if needed ; or, equal 38 THE DAUGHTEE. parts of castor-oil and spiced syrup of rhubarb, shaken together, a teaspoonful, to be repeated every hour, if needed to accompHsh the desired effect. This treatment is also to be given if there is green diarrhoea or griping pains or offensive stools. Astringent medicines are to be avoided at this time. If the excitement of the nervous system is so great as to cause convulsions, the most benefit is to be gained by putting the child at once into a warm bath, making, at the same time, applica- tions of cold water to the head. This may be followed by a gentle laxative, as indicated above. The permanent teeth begin to appear about the sixth or seventh year, the first molar, or grind- ing, teeth at the sides, known as the six-year molars, coming through first, followed, a year or so later, by the front cutting teeth. The last, or wisdom teeth, furthest back in the mouth, come about the seventeenth or twentieth year. INFLUENCE UPON CHARACTER. 39 Physical peculiarities are naturally in- herited from both parents, but the disposition and character arc largely the result of surrounding influences upon the expanding intelligence of the mfant, and chiefly, if not entirely, of contact with the mother, or of such as take her place. They are developments which are governed from without. Manners, in the first instance, are imitations; later they may be the spontaneous expressions of what goes on within, or studied screens against too close inspection. A rather cynical writer has told us that character is made up of nine-tenths manners and one-tenth morality. But, aside from this view, who can estimate the effect of the look, the tone of voice, the honest, gentle, and truthful manner of a mother; or who comprehends the possibilities and far-reaching influence of her example, be it for good or ill, be it judiciously or mistakenly planned? The future of civilization, the continuance of morality, and the perpetuity of religious sentiment depend upon her teaching aright and successfully training the coming generation in its early infancy. In our social arrangements the mother trains the child, 40 THE DAUGHTER. and to that end her best efforts are worthily put forth. Her influence is never negative, be- cause the child is always imitative. All it has, in after years, comes from copying, in some sense, from those about it. Hence, what is said upon this subject is not conventional sentiment so much as it is sound philosophy, based upon physiology and the laws of development. More is probably acquired in the first four years than in all the rest of life, and probably more depends upon what is acquired then than subsequently. During that time the very substratum of character is laid, the disposition is set, docility or pugnacious oppo- sition is awakened, and amiabihty or contrari- ness is called into active exercise. Upon this foundation the superstructure subsequently grows with a natural development, influenced only in part by external surroundings. About taking care of the baby there is no mystery beyond the comprehension of ordinary intelligence, if it be guided by good sense and natural afiection. The little being, so frail and delicate, is human and has wants in many re- THE CAKE OF THE BABY. 41 spects similar to our own. Loving, motherly in- stinct, coupled with intelligent watchfulness, will learn to anticipate its necessities. Of course, the mother will avail herself of good advice and sug- gestions from others who are mothers, with ex- perience in the care of children. But she will do well to avoid the officious, both young and old, who perpetuate ignorant and superstitious tra- ditions of the nursery. Let it be remembered that cheerfulness and good nature on the part of the little one are dependent upon its general good health and condition, and to secure these must be the con- stant concern of the mother, who, in thus seek- ing the welfare of the child, lightens her own labors and makes life more sunshiny. Many mothers are able to preserve a serene temper and a patience almost superhuman in managing a sick and fretful baby ; nevertheless, their lot is happier when baby crows with a delighted sense of well-being, or slumbers in the placid manner indicative of sound health. 42 THE DAUGHTER. Food and air are essential elements in the child's growth, and it should have them, in good quantity and quality. The food should be of simple, wholesome kind, quite digestible, and well prepared. That for very young infants has been spoken of elsewhere. Milk is a good type of food, and suits almost everybody. It is both food and drink. It is invaluable to children, to invalids, and to the delicate generally. There are very few stomachs with which fresh cows' milk will not agree, and it is curative in some diseases. In particular cases it may require preparation, as by dilution with water, or with lime-water, as will be learned by experience, or may be pointed out by the family physician. In all families where there are young people a full share of the market- money should go for milk, as it is the best and, hence, often the cheapest kind of food, both in its natural state and in many forms of prepara- tion into healthful and attractive dishes for the table. Eggs, also, are a good food, and easily digested, if only they be fresh and not boiled to the pohit of hardness. For most stomachs they will be more digestible if scalded for two or three AIR. 43 minutes in boiling water, — only until the white is clouded, — rather than made solid. A raw egg in a glass of milk, with a little salt, or sugar, as preferred, affords a palatable and concentrated form of nourishment in sickness or health. -The air, like everything else about the children, should be pure, sweet, and clean. It is the essential requirement of every moment of life, and is bountifully supplied. It may be had in good condition to breathe if but our sur- roundings are such that it is not polluted by contact with filth, or rendered stagnant from want of free circulation and sunlight. Baby's apartment should be kept clean and wholesome. Dirt and dust, and everything which can render the air impure, must be removed at once. The air is sometimes vitiated for children's use in unsuspected ways. Their nervous sus- ceptibilities are greater than those of older per- sons. A very little tobacco-smoke may cause all the nausea and discomfort to an infant in arms that his first segar did to the smoke-dried veteran, 44 THE DAUGHTER. but the little one cannot so well describe the sensations. Injudicious mothers, sometimes, with well- meaning but mistaken kindness, cause their little ones to live in an atmosphere of perfume. They themselves are redolent with fragrant and heavy odors, and the child's clothes and all its surround- ings are scented. Many such a child may never have drawn a breath of sweet, pure, and uncon- taminated air. All scents and perfumes affect the nervous system, and by constant excitation do it damage, and the much more delicate organi- zation of the child may be injuriously affected where the adult would be unharmed. The bouquet of flowers, which by its fragrance de- lights the senses at first, afterward renders the air of a closed room heavy and oppressive even to grown persons. The more sensitive child must feel the effect in greater degree, and, not knowing the cause of the discomfort, nor being able to tell its troubles, breaks out in loud pro- tests or spells of fretfulness. As a result of disordered nerves, the child is cross, peevish, excited, and restless. For similar reasons musty, HABITS. 45 close, and imventilated apartments do not favor health, but have a depressing effect upon every one, and especially upon the growing child, who cannot grow into a healthy vigor of body without fresh, pure air and sunshine, which are as essential as food and drink. -The child surely inherits its physical life from its parents (that we all know) just as the oak comes from the acom, which came from its parent-oak. Like produces like ; but who shall say just how much character, or mannerism, or good or bad temper, or individuality, aside from the physical, comes by inheritance 1 What does baby know at the start 1 He is nothing but a body with life in it. But according as that life is trained will noble or base forces be set in motion ; for the future takes shape at the power of his approach. Through neglected early training he may easily miss the possibilities of his future career. The character and the disposition are de- veloped by stimulation from without. Baby is strongly imitative. His motions, gestures, looks, 46 THE DAUGHTEE. tones of voice, temper, and habits of mind and body are insensibly copied from examples about him. A hasty-tempered or impatient care-taker will infallibly develop similar manners ; arts of deceit will teach cunning and duplicity ; false- hoods told to frighten or amuse will engender untruthfulness in the child. Quiet tones, cheerful manners, and loving and truthful ways also in- stigate his imitative faculty ; though, unfortunately for human nature, in infancy, just as in later life, the imitation of the bad is easier than the imi- tation of the good. -Fretting and worrying do not benefit any one. An impatient manner keeps one's soul constantly on the grill, and chafes the spirits of those who are afflicted by its rasping. Worrying is a waste of nervous energy, and, when added to the wearing drive and unrest of modern life, helps to exhaust the reserve and hastens bank- ruptcy in that direction. Impatience is lack of personal control, and squanders mental force, which, if husbanded, would contribute to such resources as give strength and balance to char- SELF-ESTEEM. 47 acter. A cool and balanced mind, because of the habit of self-control, is doubly effective in its power over others, and develops new energies in itself. -Egotism and undue self-esteem are to be repressed in the young as encouraging an exag- gerated idea of their own personal importance ; nevertheless, there is a certain self-esteem which should be inculcated, and which leads one to be above doing mean acts, and instigates to the at- tainment of noble ideals. Many of the rules for good manners are based as much upon the re- spect owing to one's self as upon what is due to others. The sacred writer tells people to think highly of themselves, but not more highly than they ought to think. It requires a nice discrimi- nation to make the personal adjustment with satisfying accuracy. -The care of children by their parents is like the polishing of marble, one piece against the other. If the duty is properly performed it 48 THE DAUGHTER. is a mutual education, in which both parties grow wiser and develop a symmetry of character not otherwise attainable. It must be so, otherwise children would be born into the world as able and as wise as their parents. The elevation of the race will be accomplished when each genera- tion is a moral and physical improvement upon its predecessor. This is more likely to result if marriages of the vigorous in body are arranged between those on the same planes of advance- ment in social, intellectual, and moral training. Misalliances in these respects lead to retrogres- sion to or below the level of the lower of the two, as descent is only too easy, whilst to rise requires sustained and well-directed efforts to that end. It is a noble impulse in the parents to desire for the child better advantages than they themselves had. It is not well to send the child to school at too early an age. Conditions in after life will be better if the early years are exclusively occu- pied in building up the physical system into robust health. At this time the best interests are AT SCHOOL. 49 subserved by a life out-of-doors, immersed in fresh air and sunshine and passed in unrestrained ac- tivity and rugged sports. If, in addition, there is formed a habit of interested observation, espe- cially of natural objects, an excellent ground- work for future mental training will be pleasantly laid. The kindergarten system for children be- low the school age is good in many of its features, if properly conducted; but, too often, it has nothing about it characteristic of a garden, and merely serves to amuse the children, while con- fining them to a room. One great drawback to city life is that, in general, it is so unfavorable to the best physical training and development of the child. No attempt need be made to teach the letters of the alphabet until the child is about nine years of age, by which time the mind, expanded by use, has ability to comprehend and remember the lessons with less effort, so that progress is rapid and the labor of teaching much diminished. It is a fact repeatedly demonstrated, that children then first taught their letters, under experienced teachers, at twelve years rank the same as others 50 THE DAUGHTEE. of the same age who began attendmg school at the age of six. Usually, too, they are more vig- orous and more apt at learning from having been free from the confinement of body and strain of mind incidental to school-life. Large classes in schools do not produce the best results to the scholars ; at least, not until the later years of the school-course. There are far greater differences in ability to grasp a sub- ject and to take in the instructions, in a group of children at ten or twelve years of age, than there will be four or five years later, and after a longer school-discipline. The less-advanced chil- dren and those of duller intellection need more attention from the teacher than the requirements of a large class will permit, and there necessarily results an imperfect understanding of the subjects. This greatly increases the labor and abolishes the attractions and pleasures of school-life. One fails to see why the girl should not have the same elementary school-education as the boy, and why the same standard of proficiency should not apply to both, if a higher general education, looking to a social companionship upon more BOYS AND GIRLS. 51 equal terms, is ever to be attained. Yet it cannot be denied that the prevaihng sentiment favors more superficial attainments for the girl than for the boy, and too often the merely ornamental studies are allowed to crowd out the useful, and an absence of thoroughness is not seriously ob- jected to. It is a matter for congratulation that much improvement has lately taken place in the appliances and modes of teaching in schools of the better class. Alternating gymnastic exercises and lessons, shortening the hours of confinement, varying the studies, and substituting more direct teaching for mere recitations, are all useful means of smoothing the rough and thorny path- way to knowledge. -Until after their twelfth or fourteenth year there are no difierent requirements of health as regards the management of boys and girls who have been well brought up. This is a gen- eral rule, and no one quicker than the observing mother will detect the exceptions to it. At about this age the changes of puberty begin. 52 THE DAUGHTER. Heretofore their association as close companions has safely been encouraged, but now, although companionship is still desirable, it must be sub- ject to the barriers of safety between the sexes which wise parents properly establish, though they do not obtrusively call the attention of the young to the subject. Too often the spirit of a girl is repressed and the foundation of future inefficiency is laid by words and manners which convey distinctly that little is expected of her besides being a pretty darling, and that she may have everything done for her rather than be required to do for herself. In this way vanity, indolence, and inefficiency are unwittingly developed from infancy by the mis- judged kindness and devotion of her best friends. On the other hand, the boy is taught to be manly, to do noble and self-sacrificing little deeds, and is reared to the idea that he must aspire to be a self-reliant man. We shall have reached a most unfortunate condition socially when it is consid- ered unnecessary or undesirable for women to be less noble, less efficient, and less self-reliant than men. The girls now under training, when they HOME ATMOSPHERE. 53 are the mothers of the commg generation, will need the high ideals and careful self-discipline which best qualifies for their real work in life. By proper and unrestrained association of the children of different sexes in the family during childhood, the girls imbibe broader ideas and greater self-helpfulness, while the rougher man- ners of the boys are toned down, and a considera- tion for others developed which will adorn and ennoble their future career. -Of first importance to the child is a sound and healthy body. The surroundings of home should conduce to that end, and its arrange- ments should be such as to bring naturally about that training of heart and disposition which ought to go hand in hand with bodily growth. The moral atmosphere should be that of honesty and cheerfulness, and give an elevating tone to the thoughts and habits. Children momentarily re- ceive impressions and silently form those habits of doing and ways of thinking which, ultimately, to- gether make up character. Docility, good nature, 54 THE DAUGHTEK. and truthfulness will be their characteristics, if such qualities govern about them. They just as readily acquire objectionable ways if defective examples are placed before them. All that we have of knowledge or habit, both of mind and body, comes from suggestions from what is without and about us, imbibed largely from our associates and acquired chiefly by imi- tation. Every one is an unconscious imitator; children do not discriminate in the matter of their examples, but blindly copy whatever attracts their attention ; it may, perchance, be the good or the bad, the desirable or the vicious. -It cannot be claimed that children brought up in the country are better morally than those brought up in the cities. Evil exists in both places, and much of it cannot be kept from the knowledge of the young. It is seen in the city stripped of its glamour, and with its degrading effects more prominently in view, while in the country the unrestrained imagina- tion is apt to supply fascinations which do not PUBEETY. 55 in reality exist. It is often better to know of dangers in order to avoid tliem than, in igno- rance, to grow up with the chances of succumb- ing to their attractions. The best basis for character is the funda- mental principles of religion, which furnish the true grounds for morality, honesty, purity, and sincerity. If love of truth and right for their own sakes, and a hatred of wrong simply because it is wrong, are successfully impressed upon the young, there is furnished a groundwork upon which the most admirable character may be developed. -The daughter is fortunate whose mother makes their intercourse a sympathetic compan- ionship, especially at the age of puberty, when those changes in body and mind take place which develop the girl into a woman. It is naturally a time of restlessness and of nerve irritability. Her mind is confused with vague dissatisfaction with all about her, and vaguer desires which she vainly endeavors to define even to herself. She 56 THE DAUGHTEE. should be kept free from excitements both social and domestic. Quiet and aifectionate surround- ings will impress themselves lastingly upon her disposition. Her feelings are especially sensitive and easily hurt. Light occupations and living much out of doors in gentle exercise, not carried to the point of fatigue, with much to divert her thoughts away from herself, and much sleep, are called for. Let her have agreeable companions of her own sex, and, avoiding close study, guard her health with especial care. The mother can arrange all these matters, but the child had bet- ter remain unconscious that anything unusual is planned in her behalf, or that she is at all an object of solicitude. Of the changes in her body, no one can speak to her better than a mother ; but it will call for infinite tact and the nicest judgment to so discuss them that maiden modesty and the charm of feminine instinct be not disturbed, and that proper hygienic considerations shall be inculcated. Certainly, the child should not be left to derive knowledge upon such subjects from servants or chance friends, who are not likely to be properly MENSTKUATION. 57 informed. It is not a time calling for alarm. The whole process is physiological, a growth and development according to the laws of nature ; no new thing is happening. The first coming of the menses is the real indication of puberty and the sign of normal de- velopment ; and the regular occurrence of this function is usually the most reliable symptom of health in woman. To provide for the reproduc- tion of the race, the womb and ovaries are sup- plied monthly with an extra quantity of blood, which, if not required for the development of a new creature, is passed off in the menstrual flow. By this means the congestion is relieved ; other- wise inflammation, with its pains and dangers, would follow ; hence the importance of insisting that the mode of life at this time must be such as not to interfere with or check this necessary exudation. Suppression is always a serious derangement, and is a cause of danger and disease. 58 THE DAUGHTEK. The flow usually lasts four or five days, though the time is shorter with some and longer with others; but it should not continue longer than a week or eight days; and twenty-eight days, from the commencement of one flow to the commencement of the next, is the length of the period in the most of cases. During the flow, or sickness, some will suiFer more inconvenience than others ; but even the most favored will have headache, a disposition to nausea, and a sense of weakness and dull pain in the lower part of the back. The whole nervous system is under tension and is easily disturbed, and there is a dullness of the mental faculties for a day or two. At this time it is better to rest, as a semi-invalid, and during the whole time of the flow all violent exercise must be avoided ; other- wise derangements may be induced which will result in weaknesses and ill health, possibly for a hfe-time. Should the monthly sickness be late in first making its appearance, even though other signs of approaching maturity are apparent, it EEGULAEITY IN MENSTKUATION. 59 need not be a matter of concern, provided the health in other respects is satisfactory. Let her have good food in plenty, fresh air, exercise with- out excess, and be patient. A little waiting will set all right. The change comes later to some than to others. She may have only a scanty white discharge for the first flow, or it may re- semble blood and water mixed. Simple cleanli- ness is all that is called for. No medicine should be employed to hasten the advent of the monthly sickness ; if, however, there be pain, headache, nervous disturbances, and much discomfort, and the general health is not good, its judicious use, under professional advice, may be desirable. Regularity in her periods, at first, will usually not be the rule. The first show will be very scant, and two or three months may elapse before the second, and, after several more or less regular periods, one or two may be skipped ; but regu- larity at about every four weeks will soon be established. It is of no great consequence whether or not she be regular in the first few months, if in other ways her bodily condition is good. 60 THE DAUGHTEK. If the flow does not appear by the time she is sixteen or seventeen years of a^-e, other dis- turbances will most probably be manifested, and, under any circumstances, the condition is such that it is wise for the mother to seek competent medical advice upon the subject. Menstruation", or the monthly period, is a function as natural to woman as breathing or digestion, and is essential to her health and comfort. It occurs during a period of about thirty years of her life, beginning in temperate climates at the age of thirteen or fourteen years, and ceasing at about the age of forty-five. Its cessation is as natural an event as its beginning, and neither occurrence marks a time of especial menace to life or health. In warm climates the changes come somewhat earlier, and in cold climates later. The manner of life which the girl leads also has its influence, a sedentary habit, with stimulating excitements, common in city life, inducing the menses earlier than the quieter and more active out-door life of the country. REST DUEING MENSTRUATION. 61 During pregnancy and nursing the monthly flow is normally absent, thus affording a pro- longed rest to the reproductive system. School- girls should have rest, and partial or entire release from study as may seem necessary, during the flow. A well-regulated, active life between the periods conduces much to diminish the pain and lassitude of the time. Indeed, we may suppose that, in perfect health, pain is not a necessary accompaniment, though ordinarily experienced. From about the commencement of her courses till about the age of nineteen or twenty she is especially sensitive, and doubtless many nervous troubles, which continue through life, have their origin in overtaxing the powers of mind or body at a time when all the vital energies are required for healthy development. If study is difficult, or if she shows any disposition whatever to flag, give her rest, and let her pursue the mode of life before indicated. Few girls can stand the close application to study, with strain of mind, at this period, without detriment to health in many forms. Much as it is desirable to have a higher standard of education for woman, this formative 62 THE DAUGHTEK. period, which determines the future well-heing, not only of the individual, but of families, must be respected. It would be better if they were not kept too closely to school-duties just then, but were rather left free to develop more rugged bodies, with stronger nervous systems. A few years later they can undertake the most exact- ing studies with the happiest results, and with no drawbacks to healtli. Unfortunately, by common usage, these later years are given to society, which is so exacting in its demands that but little time or disposition is left for serious study. But marriage could, with advantage, be put off a few years longer in very many instances, and doubtless the family would, in consequence, be started with more discriminating and intelli- gent judgment, and upon a basis promising a satisfactory continuance. -Strict regularity every four weeks is not realized by all women, as here and there are individuals enjoying good health whose period is invariably a few days shorter and others a few days longer than that time. It is desirable, AKKESTED MENSTRUATION. 63 for both mind and body, not to dwell much upon the subject, but, observing the rules of health, do nothing in any way to meddle with the process ; and, when the time arrives, give it only such at- tention as is required, always remembering that it is a natural operation of the system, and must not be interfered wdth. The bath, at this time, should be warm, and under no circumstances should the body be immersed in cold water im- mediately before the appearance of the ilow^ or during its continuance, even though it had been customary to take cold baths at other times. The feet should always be kept warm and dry. If the flow is unusually frequent or unusu- ally copious, or if long delayed or much dimin- ished in quantity, or ceases altogether w^ithout the occurrence of a natural cause, it should be taken as an indication of some serious derangement of the system. Such occurrences would probably be accompanied by discomforts which naturally produce uneasiness of mind and suggest medical aid. The monthly sickness is sometimes abruptly arrested by exposure to cold and wet when the 64 THE DAUGHTER. body is heated, or by getting the feet wet and chilled. Great discomfort from colicky pains, cold feet, and sensitiveness of the whole surface of the body to changes of temperature, headache, back- ache, and lassitude will result, and be at times accompanied by fever ; and similar inconveniences are sometimes experienced, without any especial exposure, from causes not always plainly indicated. The patient should have a hot foot-bath, go to bed, be tucked in warmly, and have copious hot drinks of a simple kind, such as lemonade, to in- duce a free perspiration. All alcoholic stimula- tion is to be avoided. A rubber bag, or a bottle of hot water, or a heated stove-plate wrapped in flannel, or a hot poultice, or any other device, may be used to apply heat to the lower part of the abdomen. If the bowels have not been free it will be beneficial to move them with a simple saline draught, such as a tablespoonful of Rochelle salt in a tumblerful of hot water taken upon an empty stomach. CESSATION OF MENSTRUATION. 65 At about the age of forty-five the menses cease, but this change of life comes to some rather earher, and to others rather later. As a rule, those who menstruate early are apt to continue late, and those who commence late will probably cease early. If no children have been born, the change comes early; if many have been born, it comes late. The cessation is rarely abrupt. A period will probably be prolonged, then the flow may recur, and it may be variable in amount, but finally cessation will be established. When everything proceeds normally and with- out especial bodily discomfort, there should be no interference, the cessation being as natural to woman's functional life as the commencement, or as the flow itself. A return of the flow after ces- sation has been established for some considerable time is always unnatural, and is a matter which should call for competent medical attention. As woman's health and comfort depend so much upon the regular and proper operation of the important function of menstruation, all irregu- larities should receive intelligent attention. It is impossible to formulate any treatment which 66 THE DAUGHTER. will apply to every case of disorder in a matter which may arise from so many different causes. A special knowledge and a careful consideration of each case is necessary to guide to the use of the proper remedies. Probably the most troublesome and most common of woman's diseases is leucorrhoea, or what is often called the whites. Few are exempt from it at some times of their lives, and it may occur at any age, even in infancy, but more often at puberty and subsequently. It not infre- quently precedes and follows the menstrual flow, and in exceptional cases, with pale and delicate women, it may take its place. It is of catarrhal nature, and the discharge may come from inflam- mations of the lining membrane of the womb, or of mucous surfaces in its neighborhood. Its causes are numerous. It may proceed from local irritations, induced by rough traveling, ex- cessive exercise, or displacements of the womb; but is more commonly a local expression of some disorder of the system, and may result from a cold, or exposure to the weather, or constipation, LEUCOKKHCEA. 67 or from a condition of general debility. It is not so mnch a disease as it is a symptom indicating a deflection from good general health. In the acute form it is very painful, the parts being swollen and sore, and the discharge ex- cessive and irritating; while in the chronic form the inflammatory symptoms are absent or dimin- ished, and the discharge, though less, is constant, and is a drag upon health, causing headache, pain in the back, lassitude, and general malaise. The treatment should include such hygienic modes of life as favor the best bodily condition, and absolute local cleanliness by a moderate use of a mild soap, and much hot water. A vaginal douche of hot water continued for five minutes or more at a time, daily, is beneficial, and is often best given while the patient takes a hot sitz-bath. The hot w^ater must be brought con- tinuously into contact with all the aflected mucous surfaces. Such a treatment, followed immediately by a vaginal injection of a pint of hot water, in which has been dissolved a small teaspoon ful of powdered alum, or the same quantity of refined borax, will be rendered still more beneficial. 68 THE DAUGHTER. This treatment may be required for some weeks in obstinate cases, but must be omitted for a week during the menstrual flow. Internal tonic treatment, to improve the general health, is also commonly called for, and should be pursued at the same time. -If the young man wishes to see a picture of his wife as she will appear and behave twenty years hence, let him observe and study the mother of his sweetheart. Like mother, like daughter, is an adage most likely to prove true. Her daily example in the privacy of home is an object- lesson more deeply impressive than the same example modified by outside conventionalities. The characteristic home atmosphere which she creates influences the daughter in a special manner, because of their intimate association. The lessons of childhood may not blossom into fruit until later in life, but what was bred in works outwardly; for, like produces like. This is suggestive, and may well be taken to heart and acted upon. LIKE MOTHEK, LIKE DAUGHTEK. 69 Many petty trials are liard to bear, though quite often resulting from our own neglect or lack of forethought. Let them be righted if they may be, but do not let them prevent the culti- vation of patience of soul with the unavoidable. What cannot be helped should not stir up discord, nor overthrow self-control, nor disturb the peace of the household. The most carefully ordered lives are vexed with troubles, which come as if springing from the ground. Children can be taught that self-cultivation properly runs along with, and mingles in, all occupations from the earliest years ; and that character is evolved from habits of self-reliance and truthfulness. Patience, self-control, fortitude, efficiency, and honor are jewels of rare value. Such traits are not inborn, but are acquired, and are learned only by pains- taking efforts. If mother-care in childhood does not teach them, hard knocks and rough battlings in later years, perchance, may, but only after the little span of life is nearly spent. 70 THE DAUGHTEE. To preserve the charm of true modesty and mnocence, it is safer for the girl that she be instructed concerning the requirements of per- sonal purity, rather than be allowed to grope amid chance experiences and to run the risks of unfriendly influences. Experience is the only teacher for all, but in many things the lessons may be taken at second hand, and the wise do well to profit by the experiences of others. Although it may be a difficult duty to perform, no careful mother will neglect to properly in- struct her daughter in matters relating to the sexual nature. Thoughts upon this subject can- not be avoided, but will arise as mind and body develop, and they should be wisely and intelli- gently directed in confidential talks skillfully planned and discreetly managed by the mother. Sexual matters are not motives and aims in life, but they imperiously mingle with and influ- ence all motives and aims. They are inseparable from existence, and though important must be made subordinate, and though irrepressible must be held in subjection. To ignore them is as fatal to happiness and success in life as to allow them ABOUT SEXUAL NATURE. 71 to be the objects of chief pursuit. To underrate their influence is a great mistake ; it must be justly appreciated in order to maintain an elFect- ive control by the stronger forces of the intellect and the will. Let it be remembered how large a portion of human misery results from the dis- •orderly animal passion. Much of this should be withheld from the knowledge of the young, but enough for their own safety may be pointed out by the mother, and be accompanied by such ad- monitions as seem suitable in each individual case. That the duty is a delicate one and is sur- rounded by difficulties affords no reason for its avoidance, but rather calls for redoubled tact and a superior skill, which will not fail of their aim when instigated by the loving instinct of a true mother's heart. The subject is obviously not one for promis- cuous discussion, but nothing is gained in private by veiling it with mystifying reserves and inge- nious evasions, which serve often to keep smol- dering an unsatisfied curiosity that had better be laid to rest by a little necessary plain and whole- some truth. Here, as upon many other social 72 THE DAUGHTEK. subjects, greater safety to the individual and to the communitv hes in knowleds^e tendins: to wis- dom rather than in ignorance, if only the mind is maintained in a proper attitude toward the facts. It might, indeed, be well frankly to con- cede as a fact that, during all of healthy life, the animal passion obtrudes itself unbidden upon the attention of all alike, with more or less power of impertinent distraction (simply because all alike, in nature's order, belong to the animal kingdom), and the duty of constant vigilance to maintain its suppression must be inculcated early and insisted upon throughout. Individual peculiarities assert themselves in this as in other directions, and, while the duty of restraint may set lightly on some, it doubtless is a distracting and nagging burden to others. Xature, civil law, and the church uphold the marriage tie, that the social instincts of the race may be fostered and at the same time an obtrusive appetite be held in subordination as incidental only, which otherwise might too easily become an overmastering and disturbing passion. The exigencies of social conditions compel restraint and regulation, and constitute them into a moral code which includes ABOUT SEXUAL NATUEE. 73 a necessity of personal control of thought, feel- ing, and imagination, as well as of actions ; and which is obligatory not only for the peace of mind of the individual, but also for the best in- terests of order in the community. To right- thinking minds this obligation is also re-inforced by the considerations of religion, in all ages and in all countries, the only known basis for morality. The subject of reproduction may be touched upon neither haltingly nor too explicitly, but in a matter-of-course way, treating it, as in the study of botany, as one of the commonest processes of nature. A certain amount of information in regard to it is needed, to keep from errors and blighting mistakes, often committed purely throuo'll io-norance which should have been dis- polled. To the brooding imagination it may be- come seductive from the very mystery which is made to envelop it. Too often questionable so- ciety usages, the suggestive drama, and the fashionable novel are the main sources which give a young woman her knowledge on subjects that relate to the passions. 74 THE DAUGHTEB. It would be far Aviser on many accounts if mothers would discountenance all associations and modes of life which have a tendency to excite sexual considerations, and to substitute busy occupations to monopolize the time and keep both mind and body from running into morbid states. The young, of all others, should not allow their thoughts to centre upon them- selves. The surest way to overcome unwhole- some subjective states, especially of an erotic kind, is with an unyielding determination to per- sistently divert the mind. In such matters the body is under the control of the mind. An appreciation of the situation cannot, how- ever, be expected in the young, who, in the surge of mental and bodily development, with its charm- ing surprises of novelty, heedlessly float along in the present, quite unconscious of future dangers, of which it is impossible for them to know, except they be warned by trusted guides. Mothers are the safest, and should aim to be the most trusted, guides for their daughters. Their own experi- ences and broadened views of life peculiarly fit them to teach to their daughters valuable self- HOUSEHOLD DUTIES. 75 knowledge, and to warn them against the many dehisive snares of youth and early maturity. This is a noble vocation, and no social duty, in public or private, ranks higher in importance. In no other way will their influence be so effective or so lasting. Mothers shape the careers and destiny of their children. It is they who lead toward and make possible a higher civilization and genuine refinement, if only their own aspirations are resolutely directed thitherward. Theirs is the power behind the throne, prevailing, though unseen. The best social interests of the race are in the keeping of faithful mothers. Their education, both of intellect and of heart, should be of the highest order. The daughter should be encouraged to take a proper share and manifest a personal interest in the affairs of the household, as they offer the means of useful training in many prac- tical matters. In it she not only enjoys advan- tages in common with the rest, but has the opportunity to learn how to order a home for herself in the future. It may be made to play a 76 THE DAUGHTEE. most valuable part in her education. The details are best learned by actual participation in the responsible duties, but the more laborious parts may properly be put, under her supervision, upon servants, if such form a part of the household. In this way may be refuted the charge that the lives of so many girls in society are aimless. A little music, some reading of novels, devotion to dress and society engagements, and a short, super- ficial schooling, neither satisfy the cravings of a noble mind nor fit the girl for the duties of after years. The troubles about inefficient servants would be corrected in one generation if there were no inefficient mistresses. A well-regulated household must be intelligently ordered by her whose position is at its head, and the qualifica- tions for her office are obtainable only by careful personal attention to its duties. As in the case of a captain of a ship, the understanding of details must be complete, and attention must be constant, to see that all the work is properly done, though probably none of it need be done personally. The busy activities of home-life, if engaged in cheerfully and with a love for system and orderly methods, are exhilarating and health- CO-EDUCATION OF SEXES. 77 ful, and are a panacea for the frequent vacuity and ennui in tlie lives of young women removed by affluent circumstances from the actual necessity of working for a living. Much is said, pro and con, about the co-education of the sexes, especially in the higher branches of study. It must be remembered that while it may suit some it will not best suit others. In spite of the wise things brought forward by those favoring mixed classes, one fails to under- stand why they should be called for at all. The recurring monthly sickness in young women, with its palpable suggestions of the function of repro- duction, and accompanying nerve-excitation, have their influence upon the imagination. It would be impossible to say that that influence Avill not be enhanced by intimate association with the other sex, in the class-room and play-ground, away from parental and home restraints. Still, the popular demand is now emphatic that the mental training of the sexes shall be more nearly alike, in order to insure compatible marriage unions. To conclude, however, as necessary to 78 THE DAUGHTER. accomplish this, the studies must be undertaken together, under the same roof, and in the same classes, is going rather further than the premises seem to warrant. There are inborn differences in the sexes which assert themselves, no matter what may be the education and surroundings. Educa- tion should not seek to obliterate these, but should aim to enhance the good points in each and advance them toward the ideals of manhood and womanhood. It ever will be that many subjects which men consider trivial will be by women esteemed of prime importance, and things of essential necessity with men will be regarded with comparative indifference by women. Proba- bly, however, taking into view the full scope of life and its social aspect, experience demonstrates the wisdom of nature's arrangement in this regard. We may smile at but need not rebuke the instinct of the young girl to enhance by adornments her physical charms, which nature CONSIDERING MAERIAGE. 79 already lias made more attractive than all things else to man. Woman's innate solicitude is to please, but this is not best accomplished by arti- ficial manners or external show. Illusions fade away in the home-circle, where sterling character and loveliness of soul, such as earnest purpose aims to attain and poets idealize in their songs, inspire the most enduring regard. The girl whose lover marries her for what she is, and not for what deceptive manners and surround- ings cheated his fancy into believing her to be, will be able to continue the love-charm all through married life. Her desire to attract and please is a part of nature's grand scheme, and involves, of course, the subject of mating, the natural instinct of the race, the pivotal idea around which social life revolves. Thoughts upon marriage Avill very properly find place in the maiden mind, and should not be treated severely, nor as cause for censure. The mother would do well to discuss them with a judicious freedom, encouraging high and worthy aims, and imparting correct ideas concerning the domestic tis, disentangled from heated fancies too apt to 80 THE DAUGHTEK. give a false glow in the imagination of youth. Woman lives largely in her affections, and her own happiness and that of the home depend much upon their being well bestowed and grace- fully brought into active exercise. The accept- ance or refusal of marriage lies with herself, and, consent having been yielded, courtship properly gives way to earnest efforts to establish in good faith that companionship and identity of interests and congeniality of tastes which always form the basis of comfortable married life. -That subtle intermingling of sexual and mental qualities in woman, which gives her the power and extraordinary influence over men which is commonly spoken of as love, is a thing of nature's ordering, and is a potent instrument to make or mar her own and the happiness of her family. By it may be wrought out the highest ideals of social and domestic felicity, or it may be made to serve mere temporary and ignoble purposes. As an inherent possession she will use it for good or ill, according to the measure of her intelligence, and there is no danger that TRAINING FOR MARRIED LIFE. 81 any erratic wave of reformation will ever per- suade her to forego the exercise of a natural ad- vantage so pleasing to herself and so captivating to tlie other sex. But the experienced mother should instruct the daughter that the power of love may be evanescent, and, unless worthily and unselfishly bestowed, will pass aw^ay with beauty and youth, and will not outlive the freshness of physical charms. Her study should be to pro- long its sway, for, while it lasts, it is the most potent factor in family life, as wtII as the most powerful of passions. Great will be the gain if the young woman, whilst in her freshness and bloom, learns how to hold the heart she has won so easily, and can be made to comprehend how short is the time which mere sexual love can call its own. Let her be taught how this strong but evanescent passion may be developed, by discreet fostering, into the highest forms of love and become enduring as life itself. The sexual instinct is the foundation of social conditions and the cause of mutual inter- ests. Subsequent relationships — not independ- 82 THE DAUGHTEE. ent of tlie former, but meeting higher needs — are evolved upon higher planes of association. Woman's instinct contrives telling devices in dress to heighten her sexual peculiarities; but when the force of passion wanes, and desire wears less keen an edge, daily companionship becomes monotonously flat, unless enlivened by a loving flavor born of homely virtues and gen- uine character. If the charm of wifely influence weakens, what shall compensate for the disap- pointment ] The wife who reigns supreme in the regard of her husband is to him all that any other might be, and, by her peculiar affec- tion, shares his inmost life, which she intuitively divines. The picture is not to be thrust aside because it is ideal. Dean Swift, in his forceful but humorous way, declares that the reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets to catch lovers and not in making cages to retain them. That is but a sorry marriage which is not the response to the yearning affection of two hearts for each other. To say that mothers CONSIDEKING MAKKIAGE. 83 should instil this sentiment into the minds of their daughters, would seem superfluous were it not set aside for other and very unworthy motives, so often, that concealment of the fact seems no longer to he generally attempted. Rank, social position, wealth, and even real merit do not satisfy the longing of the soul for love and companion- ship. Intuitively in the breast of each, fresh as hope itself, springs the belief that such satisfaction should be obtained in marriage, and is a natural right of the individual. But if love is a prize it is accorded to merit, and, like all else of value, must be striven for. The eternal laws which adjust the relation of all persons to each other, according to the expansion of soul and the attain- ments of the mind, determine the possibilities of companionship and the real affinities. After the charming ecstasy of the mating has become a luminous point in life's retrospect, what avails to her unsatisfied soul the wealth or social rank, if the wife has no aims, no versatility of conversa- tion, nor intellectual stores, from which to weave home enchantments to meet, more nearly than club-life and convivial dissipations, the wants and aims in the life of husband and sons in hours 84 THE DAUGHTEE. outside of those demanded by the daily occupa- tions 1 If there is to be companionship in wed- lock it must be on higher planes than the monot- onous routine of daily life, or exacted devotion, or the gratification of personal vanity. High ideals should be implanted in the youthful mind, that they may grow and be cher- ished throughout life, and especially should they be held in view during the period from about seventeen to twenty- three years of age, when so much shape and direction is given to the future career. During this period the associations and occupations determine the cast and character of the mind, and impress upon it habits and tastes which will govern the life. This is not less true of the girl than of the boy. While it may be admitted that obedience to a natural instinct de- mands of her a certain care in dress and personal adornment, such considerations must not be al- lowed to fully absorb the mind. Those who take also an appreciative interest in the march of events in the great world, and in the move- ments of more particular concern in their own HOME-MAKING. 85 communities, and who keep themselves famihar with the current thought of the day, do more wisely. Their minds are equipped with subjects upon which refreshing and rational interchange of thought will redeem daily association from falling into insipidity. The best social clubs are family homes in which the members successfully cultivate companionship among themselves. The wife is the recognized house-committee, and upon her discreet management the prosperity of the organization greatly depends. The ordering of our domestic affairs con- stitutes woman the home-maker, and when her full duty is done in that direction the result will transcend in appropriateness and in essential glory all other achievements within the possibility of her accomplishment. Here is offered full scope for efforts toward the most exalted ideals. These are not, however, such as find expression only in luxury and external show, nor such as may be bought in the shops. Opportunity is afforded her to shape the family life upon princi- ples of the most confiding companionship and 86 THE DAUaHTEE. ennobling sentiments of respect, and to maintain a devotion to that true culture which creates the higher social life, — higher than the routine and dull grind inseparable from bodily existence, — higher in spite of them. ■Housekeeping is not a simple under- taking. It is, in fact, a business of a complicated kind. Its management is generally conceded to belong to the wife, who cannot successfully take it up without a previous training. And upon her ability in this matter depends largely the success or failure of the home. Therefore, in- terested personal attention to its details is neces- sary if the girl aspires to honorably assume the responsibilities of wife and home-maker. It is assumed that the man she will marry was trained to his calling, and her training and ambition are defective, and the odds will tell against her, if she does not seek equal pro- ficiency in the vocation she aims to exercise. He reasonably looks for a certain efficiency on her part. If it is wanting in after-married hfe HOUSEKEEPING. 87 there is nothing which will continue the charm which first awakened his interest in her. The only foundations upon which married love ahides are respect for personal character and ahility in matters essential to the making of an acceptable home. Training in these branches of the girl's edu- cation will with propriety come from the mother, and should be acquired before marriage by the daily exercise of home duties and responsibilities. Homes are largely established on account of the children, who should early be taught to feel a personal interest in the system and order of the household. If the mother has neither the skill nor the disposition to give such a training to her daughter, the case of the latter is most unfor- tunate ; for, among the subjects taught in schools for girls, some are wanting, a knowledge of Avhich constitutes the essential element of successful management in the relations of wife, mother, housekeeper, home-maker, helpmeet, companion, and care-taker. 88 THE DAUGHTEE. Long engagements of marriage are not desirable; they are depressing, and often injurious to health, both of mind and body. A long ac- quaintanceship before engagement, however, is desirable, and if the parties appear to be suited in all respects the betrothal may take place, to be followed by marriage in a few months, at longest. It is far better that the subject of marriage should not be entertained at all unless circumstances are such that the union might with propriety be effected at once, were all the parties in interest so disposed. There may be much pleasant sentiment in engagements which involve a long waiting for obstacles to be cleared away, but they are detri- mental, as intimated above. Poetry sings of love in strains which fire the spirit with longing for a realization of the visions she so skillfully weaves; and art idealizes forms which spur imagination's kindling fancies; and religion purifies and makes sacred the master- passion which refuses to be counted apart from any of all the concerns of life. But these deal only with the concomitant delights which should ever spring from the correct adjustment of the MARKIAGE. 89 physical considerations, which, rightly regarded, are alone recognized by nature as the basis of marriage. It is well to embellish it with culti- vated and exalted sentiments, but its primary function is to provide man with a most suitable companion, — a helpmeet, — and to insure an orderly continuance of the species. The discreet mother will not allow her daughter to contem- plate entering upon marriage without some intel- ligent consideration of this phase of the subject. A failure to meet the requirements of nature's laws of matrimony, or a disposition to put them at defiance in the prevalent distaste for maternity, and the restless reaching after prominence in pub- lic, to the neglect of domestic duties, are causes which obstruct the attainment of ideal married life. Even if there be fair appearances to out- side eyes, its very life and charm will be Avanting in the absence of that which gives its essential flavor. Nothing will compensate for the ills arising from erroneous ideas on this point. The home degenerates into a mere shelter, or a con- ventional abode, and can never be a sacred retreat where confidences and mutual sacrifices inspire in 90 THE DAUGHTER. each the sentiments which warm the fancy and enrich the soul. The world, outside the family circle, is too often found to be devoid of sym- pathy, governed as it is by self-seeking in the struggle for existence. -Marriage should take precedence over all other relations in life. Besides being the foun- dation of society, it is the regulating principle from which spring both the motives and the actions which mark the career and give the dis- tinctions in the life of the individual. If there are antagonisms, or an absence of congenial in- terests between man and wife, the harmony which fundamentally should pervade their union will be absent, and no number of incidental melodies can adequately compensate for its loss, or fill out the volume and rhythm of life's symphony. The man in such a union goes handicapped into the arena of business competition. His best talents are not at command, nor his best energies put forth, be- cause the most potent instigations to exertion do not exist for him. His mind is not at rest on the one point which affects every interest in his life. OBJECT OF MAKKIAGE. 91 The wife who makes a well-ordered home, to wliich her husband hastens with delight for rest and congenial companionship, and from which he departs to daily occupations refreshed in spirit, is in no insignificant sense a partner in lier hus- band's affairs, and will be cheerfully accorded a full share of his successes. In the words of the wise man, "Her price is far above rubies; the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her; she will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life;" and the completeness of his domestic satisfaction is irrefutable evidence of her eminent success and happiness in her chosen career. -Civilization and education have added to w^edlock the ideas of home and endearing social relations, but in nature's design the primary object of marriage is the continuance of the race, the fulfillment of the primal injunction in Eden to increase and multiply that the earth's popula- tion may be replenished. Emerson says, "The lover seeks in marriage his private felicity and perfection, with no prospective end ; and nature 92 THE DAUGHTEB. hides in his happiness her own end, namely, progeny, or the perpetuity of the race." There is danger that in the artificial refinements of our times, as at certain periods in the past, the at- tempt to avoid nature's requirements in this respect will work degenerative changes in the social life of the nation. Expensive and purely selfish modes of living make maternity un- fashionable, and render impossible the ideal home-circle; so that it may happen that over- refinement and social and intellectual develop- ment will work their own defeat, purely from lack of off'spring from legitimate parentage. Nature, however, will not be circumvented, for children are born in due proportion, and popula- tion increases from year to year. The real ques- tion, then, is not Shall there be children '? but, rather. Shall the children have reputable mothers and the advantages of orderly family training'? Recent statistics show that in Scotland one birth in about every ten is outside of wedlock ; in Paris one in about every three ; and in Germany, Austria, and Italy conditions are similar. It is not known what the figures would show in re- STEKILITY. 93 gard to our own country, but there are those who think it in a still worse state, inasmuch as the absence of foundUng hospitals tends to multiply the number of infanticides. Children of the class alluded to above are often cared for in public in- stitutions, and, lacking family associations, grow up totally without experience upon w^hich to set up homes for themselves in after life, even if they should be so mclined. Their tendency is too often downward toward vicious and criminal living. Well may those solicitous for the per- manency of pure social institutions ask if the disposition is not growing among us to avoid marriage on account of its burdens, and regard- less of its compensations, and, if so, whether the remedy does not lie in the direction which would enlarge the interests and privileges of the family, and make it, rather than the individual, the social unit. -Whatever may be the motives which prompt a determination to avoid child-bearing during early married life, they dwindle into in- significance in later years, when repining at a 94 THE DAUGHTER. childless lot colors the whole existence. The desire for offspring is natural wherever ambition urges to aggressive struggles for noble achieve- ments. Children, as companions, add a zest to life, and when we are gone they represent our influence and prolong it to future generations. Nature, however, withholds such gifts at times. In general communities marriages are unpro- ductive in about the proportion of one in nine times, and, considering the exceedingly com- plicated nature of the organs of generation, the wonder is that the proportion of failures is not greater. The reason of disappointment in this respect cannot always be determined, but many causes of sterility have been successfully over- come by intelligent medical treatment, while some pass away in time, and others remain per- manent, though both parties, in other respects, enjoy perfect health. Writers upon the subject assert that in one out of every thirteen cases of sterile marriages, the physical defect is on the part of the husband, and nine times in ten it is on the part of the wife. In a certain proportion of instances it must be referred to incompatible PKEGNANCY. 95 temperaments, or to psychical causes. One-half of the men at seventy to eighty years of age, and one-half of the women at forty years of age, are still able to procreate. The precise time of con- ception cannot be determined accurately; neither can the sex of the unborn child be in any way influenced or predicted with certainty. Woman's frame, in the temperate zone, is not fully matured before an age approaching twenty-five years, and until then it is not best fitted for child-bearing with highest adA^antage to both mother and offspring. It is not desirable that the excitements incident to the preparation and celebration of the wedding, an event which stirs to its profoundest depths and wholly absorbs the female mind, should be immediately followed by pregnancy, and hence a day is usually selected for the wedding which will come about two weeks after the menstrual flow, as occurring in a period of her month which is less favorable for conception. 96 THE DAUGHTER. Naturally the married daughter will turn to her mother for advice when the question of the probability of her own pregnancy arises in her mind. The menstrual flow will fail to appear at the usual time. The external genital organs will be swollen and bluish in appearance from congestion of the parts. At the next would-be period the breasts are tender and somewhat swollen, and at the third month the nipples are more prominent and their areolae are soft, slightly puffy, and growing darker, and the little secreting glands upon their surface enlarged. At three months the womb may be felt rising a finger's breadth above the pubes-bone, and at four months it is three fingers' breadth above. The appetite is capricious, and there is oflen a sick stomach, more especially at the time of the would-be period; but these symptoms modify and subside at the fourth month. The unnatural longings and the fancies for unusual articles of food are more affectations than realities, and need neither be regarded nor indulged, if she be so minded. Often the mind is brighter during pregnancy, and the views are enlarged and the PREGNANCY. 97 mood thoughtful, though cheerful; but usually the nervous system is more anxious, irritable, and more easily depressed than at other times. These latter conditions are more apt to accompany oilier pregnancies than the first. The child's movements are usually felt by the mother at the fourth and subsequent months, and its heart may be heard to beat at the sixth month, faintly but rapidly, like the ticking of a watch, if the ear is applied over the maternal abdomen. Pregnancy commonly lasts about two hun- dred and seventy-five days, though exceptionally it overruns this time or comes short of it. The exact time of its commencement cannot be de- termined with certainty, but a convenient rule, whereby to calculate as nearly as may be the date of its conclusion, is, to add five days to the date when the menses last ceased, and then count backward three months on the calendar to find the day and the month which, occurring next again, will about end the pregnancy. 98 THE DAUGHTER. The pregnant woman should attend carefully to the rules of health in the use of bathing, fresh air, clothing, and food. In the later months she had better eat little at a time, but often, rather than partake of hearty meals. Much bodily ac- tivity is not called for, but a sufficient amount of light exercise should daily be taken in the open air, and cheerful society should be sought, as well as agreeable occupations for the mind and suita- ble employment for the hands. High-heeled shoes and garters and corsets must be laid aside, and all pressure on the breasts and nipples avoided. A warm bath once or twice a week and a sitz-bath every night are very desirable. To prevent an undue stretching of the abdominal walls, as the size increases, a broad and well- adjusted bandage, made of flannel or muslin and shaped to the form of the abdomen, should be worn, to support, without pressure, the in- creasing weight. It gives great comfort to the wearer, and is the most effective means to secure a restoration of the form after delivery. Wear- ing the bandage after delivery has very little utility for this purpose, if the walls of the abdo- PREGNANCY. 99 men have already been stretched and are lax from previous neglect. The bowels must be kept m nommal health and be especially free from constipation, which should be accomplished preferably by diet rather than by the use of drugs. Experience will de- cide in each case what food best answers for this purpose. Sometimes a glass of hot water on rising will move the bowels, and, if needed, a spoonful of Rochelle salt may be stirred in it to make it more efficacious. A half-dozen large raisins, eaten after supper and w^ell chewed, will at times answer; or a tablespoonful of bran, or coarse-ground oatmeal, stirred in a glass of milk or water on going to bed. Citrate of Magnesia may be used if there is joined with the constipation a sour taste in the mouth. The compound liquorice-pow^der — a teaspoonful in a glass of hot water at bed-time — may occasionally be taken if needed; but the fewer the drugs taken while pregnant the better, and it must be borne in mind that some medicines, proper enough at other times, are now to be avoided as positively hurtful. 100 THE DAUGHTEK. The physician to attend the confinement should be engaged some weeks before the ex- pected time, and he, by attentive examination, must assure himself of the normal character of all the conditions in the case. He is a very suitable person with whom to confer in regard to many details to insure comfort and success at the culminating moment of greatest interest, at which time he will himself be present. The monthly nurse also should be engaged in advance, and should be selected on account of experience and efficiency in her calling. Neither the physician nor nurse should come at any time to the bedside of the Ivins^-in woman from at- tending upon patients suffering with contagious diseases of any kind. They should be scrupu- lously clean about their own persons and cloth- ing, and this must be particularly insisted upon in the case of the nurse whose office it is to be constantly about the patient. Prolonged rest in bed after childbirth is very desirable, and nine days is the traditional time allotted for recuperation before getting up. This period is by some shortened without harm, but it PREGNANCY. 101 is advantageously extended to three weeks in many cases. Diirino- this time she must not lie persistently on the back, but must vary the posi- tion, and may be propped up to a semi-sitting position or lifted to a lounge or another bed. Restoration to ordinary health is usually regarded as requiring about six weeks, and, if she does not nurse the child, menstruation will return after about this length of time. Meanwhile she will lose weight, but will subsequently regain it. For two or three days after delivery there is little appetite for food, but much thirst. Plain water, cool but not iced, may be freely given, and such food as is wanted or required. Still, it is better to restrict the diet to the simplest articles of food until the usual duties about the house are resumed. The urine will be increased in quantity on the first day, and the bladder must be emptied within ten hours. During the lying-in, this oper- ation must be done while in a sitting posture to facilitate the discharge of accumulations from the womb. If the water cannot be passed, place cloths wrung out from hot water over and about 102 THE DAUGHTER. the exit from the bladder. If this fails to evacu- ate the bladder, a catheter must be used, which, in the first instance, should be done by the phy- sician or a skilled nurse. The nervous system demands rest and re- quires sleep, to which the patient is usually in- clined. The bowels often are not voluntarily opened for four or five days, and must be moved by a mild enema. It is no unusual thing for the hair to fall out quite freely after labor, and, in spite of the multiplicity of details which claim attention during the lying-in, it is well to re- member to give the hair and scalp their usual daily treatment with brush and comb. The discharge which escapes from the womb after delivery continues for two or three weeks. It varies in character, at first being almost pure blood ; by the third or fourth day it is watery and reddish; and by the seventh or eighth day is pale and greenish in appearance. A return to, or a continuance of, the red color after the fourth or fifth day, is a matter which should receive attention. The discharge lessens in quantity from day to day, and gradually, in about three weeks, INTEKKUPTED PKEGNANCY. 103 disappears. If it at any time has an offensive odor, it must be taken as a note of warning that strict cleanUness has not been accomplished, and the physician's attention must be promptly called to the fact, as grave troubles may follow if the condition is not counteracted. The expectant mother should maintain calm- ness of mind and courage, and not be over- solicitous about herself, knowing that nature is but working out in the usual mode that mystery of a new creation. Her experience is not'unique ; no unheard of thing is happening, and with ordi- nary care all goes well, and the joy of maternity is added, without w^hich woman's life is never completely rounded out. -During pregnancy there is always a liability that the progress of gestation may be interrupted or abruptly brought to a close before the child is sufficiently developed to live apart from the mother. A miscarriage is not a matter of indifference to her health, but calls for prompt care and intelligent attention. The first symptom 104 THE DAUGHTEK. is usually a haemorrhage from the womb, of vary- ing quantity, often very slight. It may continue for a few hours or for days, and is accompanied, or soon followed, by pains in the abdomen, which come with regular intermissions. The patient should go at once to bed and remain in the recumbent posture, free from all excitement of mind and body, use light diet, and avoid stimulants. The drink taken should be cold rather than warm or hot, and any tendency to either constipation or diarrhoea is to be com- bated. The attendance of a physician should be secured. The haemorrhage must be controlled and overcome, and, if it be a threatened miscar- riage, rest, time, and judicious medical aid will probably accomplish this important aim and may happily avert the event. If, however, it has gone too far and cannot be avoided, the skill of the treatment will be directed toward making it complete and to place the patient in the most favorable circumstances for recovery. Even when there are no complications, as long a time for recuperation before getting up should be allowed as after a dehvery at full term. INTERKUPTED PREGNANCY. 105 This mishap more often occurs about the third month of pregnancy than at any other time. The cause may be on the part of the child or of the mother. A depressed condition of health of the latter, a nervous shock, too violent exercise, a sudden jar, and certain diseases are some of the many causes which operate to bring it about. A habit of body of this kind is sometimes estab- lished ; hence, if a miscarriage has ever occurred, it will be prudent to take extra precautions as the same stage approaches in subsequent preg- nancies, in order to avoid a recurrence of the disaster. Habitual miscarriages are often due to a dis- coverable cause, and if this is removed nature will probably proceed normally with her work. Statistics show that only twelve women in every one hundred are able to avoid miscarriages at some time during married life. An occasional failure of this kind, if it be met by appropriate care at the time and during subsequent recovery, does not necessarily have the effect to perma- nently impair the health, any more than the vitality of a fruit-tree is affected by the prema- 106 THE DAUGHTEE. ture loss of some of its fruit by the violence of a storm or by any other untoward accident. A CHILD may sometimes be seized with an attack of difficult urination. It occasions much pain and distress in the lower part of the abdo- men in the region of the bladder, and is accom- panied with an urgent and frequent desire to pass water, but with inability to do so. It does not necessarily call for doses of medicine. It proba- bly is a local and spasmodic trouble, and will often be relieved by hot bathing of the parts and sitting for a while on the vessel, which should contain hot water, from which the vapor rises against the person ; or if the child is made to sit in a hot bath the act of micturition can be accomplished. This trouble is not to be confounded with a condition of complete or partial suppression of the urine wherein the fault lies with the kidneys, which, on account of a cold from exposure, or dampness, or other cause, are impeded in their work of secreting the urine. In this case there INCONTINENCE OF URINE. 107 is usually a feverish condition, and the pain will be felt in the back above the hips. Hot applica- tions to tliis region and frequent warm drinks of simple fluids, such as milk, either plain or diluted with water, are often effective. If relief from either of the above conditions is not obtained in a few hours by the simple means suggested, the trouble is such as calls for more skillful attention, and good medical advice should be sought at once. A more common and more troublesome diffi- culty with the child is a habit of involuntarily passing the water or an inability to hold it a reasonable time. The bladder may be evacuated unconsciously during sleep. This weakness is usually a sign of disease, and the child should never be punished for it. It may be a habit of early infancy which has never been corrected, or it may arise from deficient nerve-power of a particular kind. The act is often the result of dreams. It always indicates that the habit of self-control in this direction has not been learned and is not exercised. An oversensitiveness of the parts is found occasionally to produce this 108 THE DAUGHTER. unfortunate condition, in which case chafing, the rubbing of ill-fitting clothing, and the want of proper cleanliness are causes of irritation. Frequent cold bathing by dashing the water tends to allay the sensitiveness. If thread- worms or other parasites in the bowels are the irritating cause, their removal must be effected. To overcome such an unfortunate habit is no easy task, and often calls for a great deal of pa- tience and persistent attention on the part of the care-taker. The general habits of the child must have a careful supervision. Less fluid must be allowed to be taken into the stomach during the after part of the day, and none at all in the even- ing. The bladder should be emptied as a last act before going to sleep, and the child must be aroused once or oftener during the night and be compelled to urinate. Such a course rigorously pursued in a gentle but firm manner, and con- tinued for a sufficiently long time, will make an impression and form the habit of heeding and properly responding to the calls of nature in this respect. If more seems to be required, and if the system needs the aid of tonic medicine, an CAEE OF THE TEETH. 109 experienced medical man should be consulted, so that the most suitable treatment shall be applied to each individual case. ■The teeth, if kept thoroughly clean, as a rule, will remain sound. Decay is communi- cated from particles of food which remain after eating and become lodged between and about them. Owino^ to the warmth and moisture of the mouth these particles become decomposed. That form of dyspepsia which gives a sour taste in the mouth also favors decay, as does the formation of tartar upon the teeth. Hence the importance of cleanliness. Children should be early taught to rinse the mouth after meals and before retiring at night. The older children and adults will find it desirable to use a tooth-brush, which, however, need not be very stiff, and is better if not too large. The occasional use of a good soap or a well-made tooth-powder upon the brush helps to preserve the teeth. Particles of food caught between adjoining teeth may be dislodged by passing between them 110 THE DAUGHTEE. a silk thread or a fine rubber band. Tartar can be removed with a spHnter of soft wood, like a match-stick. A quill tooth-pick is a valu- able implement for daily use. Any other re- sources may be adopted, but the object to be accomplished is perfect cleanliness of the whole mouth. Good teeth are essential to perfect masti- cation, and upon that depends, very largely, good digestion and the general health. At the first appearance of decay, go at once to an intelligent dentist to have the defective part removed and the cavity filled, so that the tooth will not be lost, for it is a good friend, and will serve its purpose better than any substitute. This applies equally well to the first teeth of young children, in whom early decay causes much sufiering from toothache. -The ears must be kept clean, but nothing should be used for the purpose sharper than the finger, covered with a wet end of a towel. After washing, all the parts which can be reached should be made quite dry by a soft towel over the CAEE OF THE EYES. Ill ■finger. Picking tlie ear with a pin or any other instrument, and forcing the end of a toAvel or a piece of sponge into the orifice of the organ, are very dangerous and unnecessary practices, and may occasion much harm. Where there has heen earache, accompanied with discharges, syringing may be sometimes necessary; but it had better be done by an experienced person, and with the utmost care and gentleness. The organ of liear- ing is an extremely delicate structure, imbedded for protection in a solid-bone covering, and its disorders are such as often baffle the best skill. -The eyes of the child are sometimes injured if the habit is acquired of holding objects too close for easy vision. In reading, the light should fall upon the printed page from behind and across the shoulder. A frequent cause of squinting is a mode of arranging the front hair so that it attracts the siglit of the wearer. The hair should be short in front during childhood, at least, and at all times brushed out of eye-range. Defective vision, producing a strain, is a common cause of headache, otherwise unaccountable, and 112 THE DAUGHTEK. is remedied by adopting the use of glasses selected only after a careful examination and test by a surgeon experienced in treating the eye. The close use of the eyes must be discontinued at once if they become weary, or begin to smart, or if vision becomes indistinct. They are rested by looking at distant objects, twenty feet or more away. Do not persist in using them if thereby pain or discomfort is caused, as it will aggravate the defect, and it is far wiser to use glasses accu- rately suited to correct alike the defect and the discomfort. Slight inflammations of the eyes, such as redness and burning, are sometimes relieved by freely bathing them in hot water, for four or five minutes at a time, as often as once in four or five hours. Before going to bed, or when they will not be exposed to draughts or to cold outside air, is a suitable time to apply this treatment. Resting them from all use is also helpful. If one eye is inflamed, carefully guard the other from contact with any of the watery or other matter coming from the inflamed organ, which is readily con- veyed on the hand, or on a towel, or otherwise. CAKE OF THE HAIK. 113 Weak eyes and impaired vision may result from a general debility of the system, in which case a careful attention to all the rules of health and a tonic treatment will do more than local applications. If the eyes are sore and liable to inflame, do not commit the folly of living in a dark room with a bandage on them to keep out lio'ht and air and to confine the heat. Hefrain from using them, but live much out-of-doors, shading them if necessary. In the case of a child, let it run and play about all day in fine weather, shaded by a broad-brimmed hat from a glare of light. Of course, local treatment, suited to the particular case, is often desirable to abate discom- fort and to aid in restoring health. The hair will be more visforous and better preserved if the scalp is kept scrupulously clean, and this is most suitably done by thorough daily brushing and combing than by occasional scourings. The wet shampoo is of very doubtful utility, except in cases where there are accumula- tions of dirt in the hair and upon the scalp which cannot otherwise be removed, and in very many 114 THE DAUGHTER. cases its constant use undoubtedly does liarm, as the hair will not well stand such rough handling. A healthy head of good hair will not be improved by applications of any kind other than a good comb, not too sharp at the points, and a stiff brush. Twice a day at least these should be well used to free the hair from dust. In this way it will be invigorated and grow full and glossy, preserving its natural moisture and softness. The frequent use of strong soaps or borax or alcohol, or the various washes which usually have these as their chief ingredients, is contrary to common sense and is hurtful to the hair. They dissolve out the appropriate oily secretion which nature supplies, and which cannot be adequately replaced by ap- plications of grease or hair-oil. The latter prac- tically befoul the head. If the hair and scalp require cleaning otherwise than in the manner indicated, it may occasionally be done gently by the hands with soft water, or in the bath, but no other applications are needed, as the water is sufficient to dissolve and take away any excess of the natural secretions. If there is disease of the hair or scalp other treatment will be required, CARE OF THE HAIR. 115 but the diseases and their treatment cannot be indicatad here. Of course, one whose occupa- tion is amid dust and dirt which befoul the hair must resort, in the interests of cleanhness, to fre- quent washings ; but strong soaps and strong alcoholic solutions are injurious to the hair and usually wholly unnecessary, while in special cases mild solutions may be used. Baldness is the result of previous neglect of the proper care of the hair and scalp, but is more commonly dependent upon a loss of vitality in the roots of the hair, which in some cases is due to a constitutional weakness that might have been lessened by suitable treatment resorted to in time. It is more prevalent among men than women, doubtless because the close-fitting hats of the former, by retaining the heat and secre- tions of the head, increase the liability to it. If the roots have died they cannot be revived, but if their vigor is impaired there is a chance that it may be restored and a healthy function re- established. 116 THE DAUGHTEE. A GREAT many sore throats are directly due to tlie habit of breathing through the mouth. Fairly intelligent people are often seen who, wide awake, have the mouth constantly open for breath- ing purposes, the appearance very much suggest- ing a fly-trap. But the habit is probably more commonly practiced during sleep. Children should be taught that the nose is for breathing and smelling, and the mouth is for talking and eating, and it should be constantly enjoined upon them to sleep with the mouth closed, until to do so becomes a habit. In sleeping, older persons will do well to so adjust the head that the lower jaw cannot drop, and thus insure that the mouth will remain closed. If breathing cannot be com- fortably performed through the nose it is evidence of some defect in the interior of that organ, which should be remedied by a practical physician. For a simple sore throat a gargle of quite hot water, frequently repeated, often gives great re- lief; or, steam from a vessel of hot water may be inhaled, and in both methods the treatment may be made more effective if to the water is added a little salt, or a little bicarbonate of soda, or a little SPKAINS. 117 strong cider-vinegar. The heat is a good appU- cation, and also the gargling serves to remove the exudations from the mucous membranes of the throat so apt to be present when it is sore and inflamed. Continued sore throat is quite apt to extend to the ears, and may cause impaired hear- ing or total deafness. A FRESH sprain is best treated by sub- merging the part in quite hot water until the acute pain ceases ; then apply a bandage smoothly and so as to give an even pressure. If it be on a limb the bandage must begin at the extremity and extend up, covering the seat of the sprain ; otherwise the pressure will interfere with the free circulation of the blood in the limb. An old sprain is well treated by douching the part twice a day with alternate streams of hot and of cold water, immediately following each other, — a half-dozen applications of each, — and by occasionally rubbing it with a stimulating liniment. 118 THE DAUGHTEB. When a child is stung by an insect, an immediate local application of castor-oil is said to give relief from the pain at once. The bee usually leaves its sting in the flesh, in which case it should be extracted. This can readily be done by pressing about it a small tube like the barrel of an ordinary watch-key, which causes the sting to protrude sufliciently to be seized and removed. As a rule, bites and stings of insects are soothed by alkaline applications, as of solutions of the salts of soda and potash or ammonia, or alcohol, which neutralize the poison ; and, if there be much inflammation, an application of lead-water and laudanum is good. A plaster of soft earth or clay is a soothing application, which is avail- able in the fields and where drugs cannot be obtained. Burns are well treated by an application of linseed-oil and lime-water mixed in equal parts, and olive-oil or unsalted lard may be substituted for the linseed-oil ; or, apply white lead and oil mixed into a soft paste ; or, cover the part thickly with flour or powdered starch from a dredging- box; or, apply lead- water, or lanolin, or a solu- COMFORT OF THE FEET. 119 tion of an ounce of tannin to a pint of water. The application must be so thorough as to ex- clude the air, and it is well to bind on top some carded cotton smeared with some of the same material applied to the burn. The pain of bumps and bruises will be al- layed by the immediate application of hot water, or tincture of arnica, or a solution of a teaspoon- ful each of muriate of ammonia and common salt in 2 tablespoonfuls of alcohol and 4 of water. After the first sharp pain is past, an application of butter, kept upon the spot for a few hours, will often prevent it from becoming black and blue. Greater comfort is obtained for the feet by freeing them each night from the results of perspiration during the day. If they are tender, this is best and quickest done by cleansing with a wet towel, and without soap, rather than by soaking them in water, which will render them more tender. Each morning a fresh pair of stockings and a fresh pair of shoes should be put on ; that is, shoes or stockings should not be 120 THE DAUGHTER. worn two days in succession, but should be given a day between to air and dry. In tbe evening, whether one remains at home or goes abroad, let a change be made for a dry pair of shoes, rather than wear the same which have been in use all day. It will be well to have several pairs of shoes in wear at once, for few things add more to personal comfort than attention to the needs of the feet, of which not the least are well- made and easy-fitting shoes of material suitable to the weather and the season of the vear. -By the exhalation of the breath and by the perspiration is carried away waste matter no longer needed, and which is full of harm to the system if retained. This is an indication for ventilation of rooms which have been occupied and for strict bodily cleanliness. The pores of the skin must be kept open to favor the elimina- tion, and the surface of the body must be freed from its results by washings with soap and water. A healthy skin will rarely require anything more, except it be the additional application of a good flesh-brush,' or the vigorous use of a coarse towel FUNCTION OF THE KIDNEYS. 121 or mittens during the progTess of the bath. A person with a clean skin protected by suitable clothing, and whose bodily functions are regular, rarely catches cold. The office of the kidneys is to eliminate waste matter from the system. Our bodies are furnaces kept aglow by the air and the food we take into them. What is assimilated by diges- tion is converted into vital energy and the new material to replace that which is worn out. This last, being of no further use, is taken up by the kidi;ieys from the blood and passed out as urine from the bladder. In one leading an active life there results a larger waste of tissue than when the occupations are freer from exertion. It is necessary that a sufficiency of water be taken into the system to facilitate the carrying off of this waste, as its retention leads to many dis- orders. Pure water is the best drink for this purpose, and its eifects will be more beneficial taken a couple of hours after meals rather than copiously with the food. Weak tea and coffee are next in value to water. The plant principles 122 THE DAUGHTEK. wliich they contain aid in promoting a free elimi- nation, that of the former acting especially on the skin and that of the latter upon the kidneys. Beer and spirituous drinks all contain ingredients injurious to the delicate structure of the kidneys, if taken in excess, which so often follows the habit of theh daily use. Fresh milk, alone or diluted with water, has a tendency to allay in- flammatory conditions of the urinary organs. Excessive quantities of drink of any land are hurtful, though pure water may be taken when- ever there is a desire for it, and often very freely with benefit. The sense of thirst, when not per- verted by the strong-drink habit, is a good guide in determining the proper quantity of liquid re- quired. To disregard the feeling of thirst may also become a habit, in which case enough water will not be taken to meet the needs of the sys- tem. Good health requires that free excretions by the kidneys be maintained. An adult usually voids about three pints of urine during every twenty-four hours ; but this amount will vary, being influenced by such' considerations as the FUNCTION OF THE KIDNEYS. 123 quantity of liquid imbibed, the amount of bodily exercise, and the temperature and humidity of the atmosphere. In health it is usually of a light straw color, and clear in appearance, and, after standing in a vessel a few hours, shows no froth on the top nor sediment at the bottom. 'Many temporary conditions of the system will vary these appearances, but usually they are restored in a short time. One should feel called upon to empty the bladder only at intervals of several hours. If no excess of liquid has been taken in the latter portion of the day, the young past infancy are usually not disturbed at night. Toward middle life it is not uncommon to rise once during the night. Frequent desire to urinate, and too copious, and deficient quantities of urine indicate derange- ments requiring attention. Any departure from what is indicated here as the rule need not be taken as cause for alarm, but is good reason, if pronounced and long-continued, for seeking advice from a competent physician. 124 THE DAUGHTEE. From the bowels is ejected from the system chiefly that part of the food taken which is not necessary for the nutrition of the body. If retained too long it becomes corrupt, and acts as a poisonous agent ; hence, every call of nature in this direction must be promptly com- plied with. The indications are that it is better that the bowels should be evacuated at least once in every twenty-four hours, and health and com- fort, both of mind and body, depend very much upon the exercise of this function. Not to dwell too explicitly upon the subject, it may be sufli- cient to suggest to the thoughtful that the ex- crement so off'ensive is none the less so before its discharge, and for obvious reasons its retention must be hurtful to health. Attention to the bowels should become a life- long habit, which is more easily exercised by the observance of regularity as to a certain hour of the day. Fix upon such a time as will most con- veniently suit the daily duties, and will not be interfered with, and then allow nothing to pre- vent this necessary attention to personal health and comfort, both of the body and of the mind. FUNCTION OF THE BOWELS. 125 There is no question that sickness is often the result of self-poisoning from failure to properly evacuate the bowels, and constipation is most often caused by a habit of carelessness and neglect of nature's requirements in this respect. Children should early be taught the importance of the subject. Great attention to regularity of habits, diet, and exercise are necessary to overcome con- stipation. An occasional purgative or laxative may be needed, but it should be seldom used and never be depended upon as a habit. Vegetables and fruits have a more laxative tendency than meats. An occasional attack of constipation in hearty eaters will sometimes be overcome by abstaining from all solid food for a day, during which plenty of plain water and free exercise are taken. Delicate people are sometimes constipated from simple debility of the system. They need tonic treatment and a general building up. Diarrhoea indicates a disturbed condition of the bowels which calls for rest. iVbstain from solid food and from exertion, and if there is un- digested food which causes the trouble it must 126 THE DAUGHTEE. be voided from the system. Afterward do not tax the digestion until complete recuperation has taken place. If the trouble continues, seek good medical advice. ■The process of digestion is exceedingly complicated, and it would be out of place to de- scribe it in detail, in a work of this kind; but it is proper that attention be called to various con- siderations in regard to it, which have important bearings upon the general health. The food should be of wholesome and digestible kind, and properly prepared. Those of rugged health, who live much in the open air and are actively em- ployed, will commonly have stronger digestion, and require heartier food and more of it, than the more delicate who lead in-door and inactive lives. An infant's powers of digestion are as much weaker than those of a strong man as its arm is weaker than his ; hence, the propriety of giving special food of simple and nutritious kind to the children, and debarring them often from dishes served at a meal, of which tlieir elders may partake with impunity. Doubtless many DIGESTION. 127 cases of dyspepsia which persist throughout Hfe have their origin in the injudicious indulgences of children who, taking their meals at the family table, are allowed to eat of improper food, and, indeed, of everything which tempts their fancy. Even after the best arts of cookery have been used in its preparation, the food is still unsuitable for the stomach until further prepared, by thor- ough mastication, which divides it into smaller particles and mixes it wdth the saliva, thus favor- ing: the chemical chancres which constitute the subsequent processes of digestion and nutrition. The importance of chewing the food thoroughly should not be overlooked, and should be incul- cated upon the young until it becomes a habit with them. After the food has been swallowed we have little further control over it, digestion, like the beating of the heart and breathing, being an in- voluntary process, and should go on unconsciously and without producing discomfort. It has been said that one in good health ought to be unaware of the existence of his stomach. This may be an ideal view, but it is certain that the sufferings of 128 THE DAUGHTEK. the dyspeptic will be much lessened, if not entirely avoided, if proper regard is paid to the kind and quality of the food taken, its right preparation for the table, and its proper preparation for the stomach by mastication. It is not best to eat a hearty meal when ex- cessively weary, as the digestive powers partake of the general exhaustion of the system, and may then be overtaxed. A wise course would be to take a light luncheon and a short rest before the meal. There is probably nothing which will more quickly relieve from the feeling of extreme weari- ness and prepare the stomach for food than a glass of hot milk, taken slowly. Some, however, think they cannot take milk, or they have an aversion to it, and for them a cup of hot tea, or of hot chocolate, may answer as well. Immediately after a hearty meal it is well to rest, and, in the case of invalids, a nap will be found very beneficial. Blood is furnished in extra supply to any part of the system where work is to be done, and after a meal the digestive organs receive it; and they will lack power, and their functions be interfered with, if it is diverted to PREPARATION OF FOOD. 129 other parts by exercise either of mind or body. From an hour and a half to three hours after a meal, gentle bodily exercise is useful to promote the absorption of the food into the system and its assimilation. If the stomach be overtaxed, it may, indeed, recover after a time, but frequent repetitions of the offense will permanently impair its functions, imbitter life with the sufferings of indigestion, make one physically an invalid, and cast the gloom of dyspepsia over his mind. The use of the frying-pan in the prepa- ration of food for the table is a barbarism often described as a frequent cause of dyspepsia. Food prepared in it is apt to become a pasty mass, satu- rated with melted fat, and is quite suited to destroy the best digestion. If it ever can be wholesome, it is only when prepared over a very hot fire, and so quickly that the fat does not penetrate. A gridiron answers the purpose much better, and by it food is prepared in more digestible form. 130 THE DAUGHTEK. Although it evidently is possible for people to live in very filthy surroundings, yet cleanliness is one of the important conditions of good health. It is also a good moral agency. One habitually clean in his person and surround- ings has grounds for self-respect and is more respected by others. Yet people with otherwise fairly correct ideas are met upon the streets and in assemblies, at private parties and at church, in public conveyances and in crowded rooms, and they sleep, and eat, and attend at their places of business with unwashed bodies, clothed in un- washed garments, and they never seem to com- prehend that, in a sanitary sense, they are as unclean as the idiot who knows not enough to attend the calls of nature, and are only less offen- sive to refined senses. In our favored land water is abundant and cheap, and soap costs but little more, and a frequent use of a combination of the two upon the person and general surroundings adds greatly to health, comfort, moral tone, and civilization. THE SKIX AND BATHING. 131 The skin is the most extensive organ of the hody, and has various functions which, main- tained in vigorous activity, will greatly promote the general good health. The matter of first importance is scrupulous cleanliness, w^hich is best accomplished by hot-water baths, accompa- nied by thorough rubbing and the free use of good soap. The chief utility of the Turkish, steam, hot-air baths, and other intricate modes of bathing, consists simply in their cleansing qualities. Cold plunge-baths and cold shower- baths should be avoided by the delicate and the aged. Cold sponge-baths, when quickly taken, followed by vigorous friction until a glow^ is pro- duced, have an invigorating effect upon the skin. The shock of a cold sponge is too much for some, even of robust health, and such should apply the cold water with the hands instead of by a sponge or towel. The cold bath should never be pro- longed, and ought to be avoided altogether if not followed by a grateful reactionary glow^, and for purposes of cleanliness it does not replace the occasional hot bath. wm 132 THE DAUGHTER. It is a matter of fact, frequently not consid- ered, that elderly and corpulent persons are un- able to bathe themselves, and, in consequence, may suffer from skin diseases and discomforts which are avoided if strict cleanliness is effected. This may happen even amid affluent circum- stances and otherwise hygienic surroundings. The pores of the skin must be kept open for the proper relief of the system, and the skin should be protected from the frequent atmospheric changes. The latter is best accomplished by the use of garments of wool, especially those worn next to the person, which, acting as a non-conductor of heat, help to maintain an equi- table temperature of the body, and also, being porous, do not confine the perspiration. In a variable chmate it is advisable to wear next the person, at all seasons, woolen clothing, which should be lighter in weight in warm weather and heavier, or else doubled in thickness, in cold. It also is advantageous to completely change the clothing at night, so that during sleep entirely different garments replace those used during the day. It certainly is more conducive to health THE SKIN AND BATHING. 133 and comfort to sleep in wool than in cotton or linen. Aged and delicate persons who find it difficult to keep comfortably warm at night should use woolen sheets and blankets in preference to covers of other materials, and employ additional means, if necessary, to keep the feet warm. The back of the neck and about the ankles are localities which are especially sensitive to draughts of air and dampness. Exposure to damp, wet feet, and going from an overheated or crowded room into the cold air, are common causes of catcliing cold. The blood in the numer- ous small vessels of the skin becomes chilled and undergoes a change producing a well-known condition of fever and other discomforts, popu- larly called a cold. There is no quick and certain cure for a cold, but its force and duration may be much diminished if the patient will go at once to bed for twenty-four hours, eating little and drink- ing water freely, and use such measures as wiR induce a very free perspiration. One of the effects of a cold will often be to render the bowels inact- ive, in which case a laxative medicine will dimin- ish the discomfort and hasten a return to health. 134 THE DAUGHTER. -After an attack of sickness do not be in too great haste to resume the usual occupations. The weakened system will recuperate more quickly with rest than with activity. Make haste slowly, and so secure a firmer basis for future health and lessen the tendency toward a relapse. At all times those of nervous tempera- ments should allow themselves time to rest. Much can be said in favor of gymnastic exercise, which is good if not carried to excess, but it is very often inappropriate for those whose employment is active. Comparatively little is written about the value of rest and repose, both of mind and body, to those whose daily occupations keep them continually more or less on the drive. The habit of daily using stimulants is not only useless and foolish, but is unphilosophi- cal and hurtful. A glass of brandy will increase the number of heart-beats ten or twenty in each minute during the time its effects continue ; con- sequently the one who lives under this constant stimulation, literally lives faster than nature re- quires. Going faster, of course, he gets to the GYMNASTICS. 135 end sooner. The vital energy is more quickly spent and earlier exhausted. The true stimulants in health are wholesome food, suitably prepared and assimilated by a good digestion. Activity of mind and body in the pursuit of a worthy object in life, and an enthusiastic ambition to attain it, are also true stimulants of great value. -When ordinary daily occupations do not require sufficient bodily exercise, gymnastics are very useful and sometimes necessary to secure proper development. Motion is not only one of the inseparable qualities of life, but there can be no healthy growth and development without it. A mistake often made in regard to gymnastic exercises is, carrying them to excess in an attempt to attain great strength of limb, while neglecting other parts equally important. The correct way is, to employ them to attain a symmetrical devel- opment of the whole frame, and" this is more certainly and more pleasantly obtained by appro- priate and gentle motions than by violent strain- ing efforts which task the strength. 136 THE DAUGHTEE. The dress at all times should be so made as not to impede free movements. If the waist is compressed there is neither grace of motion nor beauty of form, and there will be induced grave disorders of digestion and diseases of internal organs which bring about life-long invalidism and often incurable pain and suffering. If the feet are cramped by ill-fitting shoes, walking, the most natural and beneficial of all exercises, is turned into a painful undertaking, and will be soon abandoned, to the detriment of health. In walking the toes should be turned out moderately, — not at a great angle ; the shoulders thrown slightly back and square, with the chest expanded in front ; the head held back, balanced but not reined in ; the chin pointing neither up nor down, but in a horizontal line ; the arms hanging free and unrestrained by the sides. When all the muscles of the body are symmetri- cally developed, this position is easily maintained without constraint ; the back is not made more hollow nor the abdomen more prominent than nature designs; and, as the spine, doing its proper office, directly sustains the weight with GYMNASTICS. 137 least effort, locomotion is free and graceful, and performed with the least fatigue. The position will soon be learned if one practices, as a very useful and mild gymnastic exercise, carrying a weight, as a large book, balanced on the head in walking about the house and up and down stairs, for ten minutes at a time, once or twice daily. Manuals of Hght gymnastics for home prac- tice are accessible to all who desire them, and are to be recommended ; but it requires only a little ingenuity to devise motions which will bring into play all the muscles in turn, with or without dumb-bells and other similar instruments for ex- ercise. A few minutes devoted to the practice of such motions after rising in the morning, and again before retiring to bed at night, will in most cases answer all requirements, and, if pursued as a daily habit, wiU benefit the general health and promote a uniform growth and development of the whole body. The systematic use of gymnastic exercises is of great value, especially when combined with the general means of health, in overcoming 138 THE DAUGHTEE. in the young deformities resulting from special muscular Aveaknesses. A part is made strong and healthy by exercising it in the manner na- ture designs it to be used ; hence, intelligent care is needed to adapt the appropriate exercise to each muscle and group of muscles, and it must be daily resorted to with patience and perse- verance. The nutrition of all parts of the body is drawn from the blood, and the philosophy of exercise is, that the increased heart's action aug- ments the local blood-supply and quickens all the functions. The secretions and excretions are increased; the respiration, also, is made more vigorous, so that the blood takes up, in the lungs, more oxygen to carry on the vital processes throughout the system. Both body and mind feel the glow of health, and re- freshing and tranquil sleep is induced, which imparts vigor and tone to the nerves. If the exercise be too violent, and is persisted in, there will be a local congestion at the seat of strain and an overnutrition, which will result in inflam- mation and a distorted overgrowth or deformity. CLOSING KEMARKS. 139 The risks of violent exercises to those of delicate constitutions, or of special inherited weaknesses, are too great to be thoughtlessly assumed. The care of the body, though calling for constant attention, must not be allowed to absorb all of one's time, nor be considered as the whole object of living. Those who make it such are the most uninteresting of mortals, and barely escape our contempt. A fair comprehension of its requirements ought to lead to the formation of daily habits that will conduce to health, and whose observance, as the routine of life, will not be burdensome, but will become a sort of second nature. In and through the body, and simultaneously with its growth, that higher self — the intellectual and the spiritual — manifests itself, develops and receives its training. It, too, must have constant attention from those who have the care of the young; for, a symmetrical development of the whole being demands an education of all the parts. Ideal manhood includes not only excel- 140 THE DAUGHTEE. lence in body and health, but mental abiUty and intelligence, and cultivated spiritual perception as well. The design of these suggestions is, to offer some assistance to young mothers and others who have the care of children. The discon- nected paragraphs must not be taken as intended to cover the whole subject, but only as offering hints upon some of the more obvious points of interest. If in any way they aid in securing for the rising generation better physical and social conditions, they will accomplish somewhat toward the advancement of the standards of the race. Besides aiding the physician in his family visits, the labors of the schoolmaster and of the re- ligious teacher will be easier and more effective, as the success of their efforts is much dependent upon good health, which indicates the nice ad- justment of the relations of all parts of our nature. NDEX. Air, fresh and vitiated, 43, 4A Alphabet, learning the, 49 Atmosphere of home, 53 Baby, its advent, 4 its bathing. 11 its care at^birth, 7, 13 its care no mystery, 40 its disposition, 39 blue babies, 13 chafed skin, 35 early care of its eyes, 12 early preparations for, 7 food, 14, 21, 23, 26 rocking the, 33 size of stomach, 18 sleep, 34 to the breast, 22 ■n-eisfht. growth, development, 9 Baldness, llo Bandage, for newborn infant, 8 in pregnancy, 98 Barley-water, 18 Bathing of baby, 11, 14 during menses, 63 pregnancy, 98 in general, isi of the elderly and corpulent, 132 Baths, Turkish, cold, plunge, 131 Bowels, 124 constipation, in infant, 32 in pregnancy, 99 inactive from a cold, 133 regularity of, 125 Bran-water, 35 Breathing by mouth, 116 Bumps and bruises, 119 Burns, 118 Character, moral, 39, 45, 53, 55, 69 Children as companions, 94 city and country, 54 illegitimate, 92 Cleanliness, importance of, 130 during lying-in. 98 of bedside attendants, 100 of milk utensils, 20 of nursinsr-bottle, 15 of skin, 11, 35, 121, 131 Co-education of sexes, 77 Coffee, 121 Cold-catching, 11, 121, 133 Companionship of sexes, 52 in wedlock. 80, 82, 84, 85, 91 of mother and daughter, oo, 94 Cord, tying the, at birth, 7 dressing the, 8 Crying of young infant, 9, 14 Daughter trained in home duties, 75, 76. 87 Development of child, 9 symmetrical, 135, 139 Digestion, 126 of child, 24, 126 Dyspepsia, 129 acquired in infancy, 127 owing to frying-pan , 129 (141) 142 INDEX. Ears, care of, 110 Education, woman's, 2, 50, 52, 76, 87 at school, 48 child's earlv, 22, 39, 69, 78 efficiency, 52, 69 elemeutarv, same for both sexes," 39, 48, 50 for housekeeping, 75, 86 influence of example, 39, 68 mutual for parent and child, 6,47 Exercise, out-door, 49 gymnastic, 134, 135 philosophy of, 138 Exhalations of" lungs and skin, 120 Eyes, care of, at birth, 12 care of. 111 Feet, care of, 119 Food, infant's, 14, 22 as a stimulant, 135 at "vreaning, 30 barley-water, 18 cows' milk, 15 feeding-bottle, 15 for older children, 30 lime-water, 19 mastication, 127 oatmeal-water, 18 quality for digestion, 42 rice-water, 18 Fretting and worrying, 46 Gymnastics, 51, 135, 137 philosophy of, 138 Habit, 33, 46, 53, 68, 69, 111, 124,139 Hair, care of, 113 during lying-in, 102 Health in boys and girls, no differ- ence in, 51 Home a social club, 85 home-maker, 85, 91 Housekeeping a business, 76, 86 requires a training, 76, 87 Illegitimate births, 92 Imitation bv child, Si 68 " 40, 45, 56, Kidneys, 106, 121 Knowledge safer than ignorance,71, 72,73 Leucorrhoea, 13, 66 Lime-water, 16 how to make, 19 Love is a prize, 83 in poetry and art, 88 power of, 79, 81 Manners are imitations, 39, 45, 53 Marriage, misalliances, 48 age for, 95 antagonisms in, 90 companionship in, 84, 85, 91 compatible, 77, 81, 82 engagements, 88 its precedence, 90 natural basis of, 72, 89 right motives for, 83 sentiment in, 89 sterile, 94 unhappy, 82, 90 wedding-day, 95 Maternity, avoided, 93 in anticipation of, 7 Medicines, 31 during pregnancy, 99 Menstruation, 57, 66 in co-education, 77 when absent, 61 Milk, substitute for mothers', 15 as a drink, 42,122 from one cow, 21 how to prepare for infant, 20 mothers' first, 22 mothers' supply, 14, 21-26 sterilizer, 21 sugar of, 16 suitable for all, 42 INDEX. 143 Milk the best food for infants, 14 to keep fresh, 20 Miscarriaire, 103 habit^of, 105 Mother, her opportunities, 5, 47, 75 care of nipple of, 28 daughter's guide, 74 diet^for, 24 her patience, 41 her privilege to nurse, 27 influence of. 39 nursinc:, 22-27 to discuss marriage, 73 sexual matters, 70 to instruct her daughter, 69, 70, 73, 75, 87 Mouth-breathing, 116 Nipples, care of, 28 artificial, 29 during sleep, 29 of feeding-bottle, 15 Nurse, monthly, 100 handling child, 9 wet, 27 Nursing, mothers' first, 22 deficient supph', 25 frequency of, 23 Nursing-bottle, 15 Ounce of liquid, 18 Perfumes, 44 Physician, if absent at birth, 7 engaged in advance, 100 Pregnancy, signs of, 96 care during, 98, 100 duration and end, 97 interrupted, 103 rest after, 100 supporting-bandage in, 98 Puberty, 51, 55, 57 Purity, personal, 70 Quieting the baby, 24, 29, 34 Religion, basis of morality, 55, 72 Reproduction, 78, 91 Rest to reproductive system, 61 after meals, 128 sickness, 134 after pregnancy, 100 during menses, 61 Rice-water, 18 Rocking the baby, 33 Scents, 43 School, age to begin, 48 kindergarten, 49 large classes in, 50 learning alphabet, 49 Self-esteemland egotism, 47 Sexes, barriers of separation, 52 association in childhood, 50, 51 dilferences in, 78 formative age, 62 mutual interests, 81 their co-education, 77 Sexual nature, 70, 75, 80, 81 Skin, chafed, 35 general care of, 131 soap on hild's, 36 Sleep of infant, 24. 34 Soap on child's skin, 12, 36 general use, 131 Soothing medicines for infant to be avoided, 22 Sore throats, 116 Sprains, 117 Sterility, 94 Stimulants at menses, 59, 64 their habitual use, 134 Stings of insects, 118 Sugar of milk, 16 Tablespoonful, 18 Talks, confidential, of the mother, 70 Tea, 121 Teaspoonful, 18 Teeth, child's first, 36 144 INDEX. Teeth, care of, 109 permanent, 38 teething, 37 Urination, difficult, 106 deranged, 123 during lying-in, 101 involuntary, 107 quantity and appearance, 122 suppressed, 106 Ventilation, 120 Vomiting, 32 Walk, how to, 136 infant beginning to, 10 nurse not to walk with infant, 33 Warmth of infant, 13 at menses, 64 applications of, 64 Washing, injudicious, 11 by olive-oil, etc., 12 eyes at birth, 12 special spots, 12 Water for drinking, 121 to young infant, 22, 24 Weaning, 30 Wet-nurse, 27 Wife a partner, 86, 91 her influence, 82 her satisfaction, 91 Wineglassful, 18 Woman, appointed vocation, 2, 79 her round of life, 3 special training, 1, 52, 56, 75 the home-maker, 2, 86 Wool clothing, 132 L 'M ^'^^^^