^F^^ 
 
% 
 
 THE SCHOOL FOR SATIRE 
 
 A COLLECTION 
 
 MODERN SATIRICAL POEMS 
 
 WRITTEN PUSIKG THE PRESENT SEIGK. 
 
 [Price I OS. 6d, in Boards,] 
 
 \\ , 
 
 X^^C^WASHlJi^ 
 
y^ 
 
 THE SCHOOL FOR SATIRE 
 
 OR, 
 
 A COLLECTION 
 
 OF 
 
 MODERN SATIRICAL POEMS 
 
 WRITTEN DURINC THE TRESENT REIGlf. 
 
 ♦' Satire is the Poetty of a Nation highly polished." 
 
 History of English Poetry, 
 
 Vol, 3. Chapter the last. 
 
 FRIKTED AND SOLD BY JAQUES AND CO. LOMBARD-STREET, 
 FLEET-STREET* 
 
 I602. 
 
a 
 
 
 
 -b 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT.- 
 
 The Publisher of this volume is induced to 
 hope that it will be agreeable and accept- 
 able to the public, as many of the com- 
 positions in it are either entirely out of 
 print, or not to be found except in large 
 collections of miscellaneous writings. The 
 Publisher is not acquainted with any book 
 formed on the same plan with the present 
 collection. 
 
 October i%qi. 
 
THE 
 
 CONTENTS OF THIS VOLUME 
 
 OF 
 
 MODERN SATIRICAL POEMS 
 
 WRITTEN DURING THE PRESENT REIGN. 
 I. 
 
 AN Heroic Epiftle to Sir William Chambers, Knight, ComptroHea: 
 General of His Majesty's Works, and Author of a late Disser- 
 tation on Oriental Gardening. p. i- 
 
 First printed in the year 1773. /' , //,. 
 
 11. 
 
 An Heroic Postcript to the Public on their favourable reception 
 of the Heroic Epiftle to Sir W. C. By the Author of that ^ 
 Epistle. -p. 17- 
 
 Firft printed in 1774, // 
 
 . ■ /n^^ ■ 
 
 III. 
 
 Ati Epistle to Dr. Shebbeare. By Malcolm Macgreggor, of 
 Knightsbridge, Esq. Author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir W. C» 
 
 First printed m 1774. y . , 
 
 //>/! , / ■ [ 
 
 IV. 
 
 The Imperial Epistle from Kien Long, Emperor of China, to 
 George the Third, King of Great Britain, Icc. &c. &c. in the 
 year 1794. Translated into English Verse from the original. 
 Chinese Poetry. With Notes by various Persons of Eminence, 
 and by the Translator. By the Author of the Pursuits of Lite- 
 rature, p. 45. 
 First printed in i79fj« 
 
 <J. J. ^- 
 
( VI ) 
 V. 
 
 An Heroic Epistle from Donna Teresa Pinna Y Ruiz, of Mor- 
 cia, to Richard Twiss Esq. F. R. S. Author of Travels through 
 Portugal and Spain. With explanatory Notes, written by Him- 
 self. P» 93' 
 First printed in 1777, 
 
 VI. 
 
 An Arch^ological Epistle to the Reverend and Worshipful Jere- 
 miah Milles D. D. Dean of Exeter, President of the Society of 
 Antiquaries, and Editor of a superb Edition of the Poems of 
 Thomas Rowley, a Priest of the Fourteenth Century. To 
 which is annexed A Glossary, extracted from that of the 
 learned Dean. . p. 103, 
 
 First printed in 1782. ^/z // , 
 
 VII. 
 
 An Epistle from Oberea, Queen of Otaheite, to Joseph Banks, 
 Esq. (now the Rt. Hon. Sir Joseph Banks, K. B. P. C. Pre- 
 sident of the Royal Society, &c. &:c. &:c. &c.) Translated by 
 T. Q. Z. Esq. Professor of the Otaheite Language in Dublin^ 
 and of all the Languages in the undiscovered Islands in the South 
 Sea* Enriched with historical and explanatory Notes, p. 1*5. 
 
 First printed in 1774. / / > ^^Z > ^C 
 
 m-- 
 
 VIIL 
 The Wreath of Fashion, or the Art of Sentimental Poetry. By 
 Richard Tickell, Esq. Author of the very celebrated pamphle't 
 called " Anticipation." ^ p. 143. 
 
 First printed in 1780. 
 
 IX. 
 
 An Epistle in Verse to the Rev. Dr. Randolph, English Preceptor 
 to H. R. H. the Princess of Wales; occasioned by the publi- 
 cation of the Correspondence between the Earl and Countess of 
 Jersey, and The Doctor, upon the subject of some Letters be- 
 longing to H. R. H. the Princess of Wales. Enriched and 
 illustrated with Notes and Extracts from the original Corre- 
 fpondence. p. 161. 
 
 First printed in 1 796. y^ /, 
 
 X. 
 
 New Morality. 
 
 From the Paper called The Anti Jacobin, 
 
 First printed in 1798. , p. i8r. 
 
( Vii ) 
 
 XL 
 
 The Shade of Alexander Pope on the Banks of the Thames, a 
 Satirical Poem, with Notes. Occasioned chiefly, but not 
 wholly, by the Residence of Henry Grattan Esq. (Ex-Repre- 
 sentative in Parliament for the city of Dublin,) at Twickenham, 
 in November 1798. By the Author of the Pursuits of 
 Literature. p. 209. 
 
 First printed in 1799. , K/;n'^^' 
 
 XIL 
 Patriotism. A Mock Heroic Poem, in Six Cantos. With a 
 complete Index to the Poem. p. 269. 
 
 Fh'St printed in 1765. 
 
 XIIL 
 
 The Battle of the Wigs, a Mock Heroic Poem, in Three Parts. 
 
 p. 359- 
 
 First printed in 1768. /, .. ■.i?*.v" >^' 
 
 XIV. — ^ 
 
 Pondolfo Attonito ! or Lord Galloway's Poetical Lamentation on 
 the Removal of the Arm-chairs from the Pit at the. Opera 
 House. p. 389. 
 
 First printed in 1800. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Capell's Ghost to Edmund Malone Esq. Editor of Shakspeare. 
 A Parody. p. 40 1 . 
 
 First printed in 1799. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 The Old Hag in a Red Cloak, inscribed to Matthew Lewis Efq. 
 M, P. the Author of the Grim White Woman, and of other 
 Tales of Wonder. p. 409. 
 
 First printed in i8oi« 
 
A N 
 
 HEROIC EPISTLE 
 
 TO 
 
 SIR WILLIAM CHAMBERS, Knight, 
 
 COMPTROLLER GENERAL OF HIS MAJESTY'S WORKS, 
 AND AUTHOR OF A LATE 
 
 DISSERTATION ON ORIENTAL GARDENING. 
 ENRICHED WITH EXPLANATORY NOTES, 
 
 «HIEFLY EXTRACTED FROM THAT ELABORATE PBRFORMAKCB. 
 
 #>.. ^(i.^ 
 
 Non omnes arhu/ia juvant^ humilefque myric^, ViRGlL. 
 
 Printed originally in the year 1773, 
 
 B 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 i. H I s Poem was written last summer, immediately after 
 the Publication of Sir William Chambers's Dissertation; 
 but the Bookseller, to whom it was offered, declined pub- 
 lishing it, till the Town was full. His reason for this, is 
 obvious; yet it would hardly have weighed with the Au- 
 thor, had he not thought, that his Hero's fame would 
 increase in proportion to his Publisher's profit. However 
 he foresaw that, by this delay, one inconvenience might 
 arise, which this Preface is written to remove. 
 
 Readers of the present generation are so very inattentive 
 to what they read, that it is probable, one half of Sir 
 William's may have forgotten the principles which this 
 book inculcates. Let these, then, be reminded, that it is 
 the author's profest aim in extolling the taste of the Chinese, 
 to condemn that mean and paltry manner which Kent 
 introduced; which Southcote, Hamilton, and Brown 
 followed, and which, to our national disgrace, is called 
 the English style of gardening. He shews the poverty of 
 this taste, by aptly comparing it to a dinner, which con- 
 sisted of three gross pieces, three times repeated; and proves 
 to a demonstration, that Nature herself is incapable of 
 pleasing, without the assistance of Art, and that too of the 
 most luxuriant kind. In short such art as is displayed in 
 the Emperor's garden of Yven-Ming-Yven, near Pekin; 
 B 2 where 
 
[ 4 ] 
 
 tvhere fine lizards, and fine women, human giants, and 
 giant baboons, make but a small part of the superb scenery. 
 He teaches us, that a perfect garden must contain within 
 itself all the amusements of a great city; that urbs in rure^ 
 not rus in urbe, is the thing which an improver of true 
 taste ought to aim at. He says — but it is impossible to 
 abridge all that he says: — Let this therefore suffice, to 
 tempt the reader again to peruse his invaluable Disserta^ 
 tipn, since without it, he will never relish half the beauties 
 of the following Epistle; for (if her Majesty's Zebra, and 
 the powder mills at Hounslow be excepted) there is scarce 
 a single image in it, which is not taken from that work. 
 
 But though the images be borrowed, the author claims 
 some small merit from his application of them. Sir Wil- 
 liam says too modestly, " that European artists must not 
 hope to rival Oriental splendor." The po^t shews, that 
 European artists may easily rival it; and, that Richmond 
 gardens with only the addition of a new bridge to join them 
 to Brentford, may be new modelled, perfectly a la Chinois. 
 He exhorts his Knight to undertake the glorious task, and 
 leaves no cause to doubt, but that, under the auspicious 
 patronage he now so justly enjoys, added to the ready 
 vote of those who furnish ways and means, the royal work 
 will speedily be compleated. 
 
 Knightsbridge^ Jan, %oth 
 
AN 
 
 HEROIC EPISTLE 
 
 TO 
 
 SIR WILLIAM CHAMBERS, Knight. 
 
 Jvnight of the Polar Star! by Fortune plac'd> 
 
 To shine the Cynosure of British taste. 
 
 Whose orb collects in one refulgent view, 
 
 The scattered glories of Chinese Virtu, 
 
 And spread their lustre in so broad a blaze, 5 
 
 That Kings themselves are dazzled, while they gaze : 
 
 O let the Muse attend thy march sublime. 
 
 And with thy prose caparison her rhymes 
 
 Teach 
 
 Verse a. Cynosure of British taste.] Cynosure, an zU 
 fected phrase. Cynosura is the constellation of Ursa Minor, 
 or the Lesser Bear, the next star to the Pole. Dr. Newton, on 
 the word in Milton. 
 
 B$ 
 
C 6 ] 
 
 Teach her, like thee, to gild her splendid song 
 With scenes of Yven-Ming,andsayingsofLi-Tsong; 
 Like thee to scorn Dame Nature's simple fence; 
 Leap each Ha Ha of truth and common sense ; 
 And proudly rising in her bold career, ^ 
 
 Demand attention from the gracious ear 
 Of Him, whom we and all the world admit, 15 
 Patron supreme of science, taste, and wit. 
 
 Does Envy doubt ? Witness ye chosen train ! 
 Who breathe the sweets of his Saturnian reign ; 
 AVitness ye Hills, ye Johnsons, Scots, Shebbears, 
 Hark to my call, for some of you have ears, 20 
 
 Let 
 
 Verse 10. With scenes of Yven-Ming.] One of the Im- 
 perial gardens at Pekin. [Sayings of Li-Tsong.] ** Many 
 trees, shrubs, and flowers,*' sayeth Li-Tsong, a Chinese author 
 of great antiquity, " thrive best in low, moist situations 1 
 many on hills and mountains; some require a rich soil; but 
 others will grow on clay, in sand, or even upon rocks, and in 
 the water: to fome a funny pofition is necefiary; but for 
 others the shade is preferable. There are plants which thrive 
 best in exposed situations, but in general, shelter is requisite. 
 The skilful gardener, to whom study and experience have 
 taught these qualities, carefully attends to them in his opera- 
 tions; knowing that thereon depend the health and growth of 
 his plants; and consequently the beauty of his plantations." 
 Vide Diss. p. 77. The reader, I presume, will readily allow, 
 that he never met with so much recondite truth, as this ancient 
 Chiaese here exhibits. 
 
[ 7 ] 
 
 Let David Hume, from the remotest North, 
 In see-saw sceptic scruples hint his worth, 
 David, who there supinely deigns to lye 
 The fattest Hog of Epicurus' sty j 
 Tho' drunk with Gallic wine, and Gallic praise, 25 
 David shall bless Old England's halcyon days ; 
 The mighty Home bemir'd in prose so long. 
 Again shall stalk upon the stilts of song; 
 While bold Mac-Ossian, wont in ghosts to deal, 
 Bids candid Smollet from his coffin steal ; 30 
 
 Bids Mallock quit his sweet Elysian rest, 
 Sunk in his St. John's philosophic breast, 
 And, like old Orpheus, make some strong effort 
 To come from HelJ, and warble Truth at Court, 
 
 There was a time, " in Esher's peaceful grove, 
 " When Kent and Nature vy'd for Pelham's love,'* 
 That Pope beheld them with auspicious smile, 
 AndownM that beauty blest their mutual toil. 
 
 Mistaken 
 
 Verse 34. Truth at Court.] Vide (if it be extant) a poem 
 under this title, for which (or for the publication of Lord 
 Bolingbroke's philosophical writings) the person here men- 
 tioned, received a considerable pension in the time of Lord 
 Bute's administration. 
 
 B4 
 
[ 8 ] 
 
 Mistaken Bard 1 could such a pair design 
 
 Scenes fit to live in thy immortal line ? 40 
 
 Hadst thou been born in this enlightened day. 
 
 Felt, as we feel, Taste's oriental ray. 
 
 Thy satire sure had given them both a stab, 
 
 Caird Kent a Driveller, and the Nymph a Drab. 
 
 For what is Nature? Ring her changes round, 45 
 
 Her three flat notes are water, plants, and ground i 
 
 Prolong the peal, yet spite of all your clatter. 
 
 The tedious chime is still ground, plants, and water. 
 
 So, 
 
 Verse 45. For what is Nature?] This is the great and 
 fundamental axiom, on which oriental taste is founded. It is 
 therefore expressed here with the greatest precision, and in 
 the identical phrase of the great original. The figurative 
 terms, and even the explanatory simile are entirely borrowed 
 from Sir William's Dissertation. '* Nature (say the Chinese,or Sir 
 William says it for them) affords us but few materials to work 
 with. Plants, ground, and nvater, are her only productions; 
 and, though both the forms and arrangements of these may be 
 varied to an incredible degree, yet they have but few striking 
 varieties, the rest being of the nature of changes rung upon bells, 
 which, though in reality different, still produce the same uni- 
 form kind of giggling I the variation being too minute to be 
 easily perceived. A't must therefore supply the scantiness of 
 Nature,^^ &c. &c. page 14. And again, " Our larger works 
 are only a repetition of the small ones, like the honeji Bachelor'' s 
 feaft, which consisted in nothing but a multiplication of his 
 own dinner; three legs of mutton and turneps, three rcafied geese^ and 
 three buttered apple-pies, ^^ Preface, page 7, 
 
r 9 ] 
 
 So, when some John his dull invention racks 
 To rival Boodle's dinners, or AImack*s, 50 
 
 Three uncouth legs of mutton shock our eyes, 
 Three roasted geese, three butter'd apple-pies. 
 
 Come then, prolific art, and with thee bring 
 The charms that rise from thy exhaustless spring ; 
 To Richmond come, for see untutor'd Brown ^j 
 Destroys those wonders which were once thy own. 
 Lo, from his melon-ground the peasant slave 
 Has rudely rush'd, and levell'd Merlin's cave ; 
 Knocked down the waxen Wizzard,seiz*dhis wand. 
 Transformed to lawn what late was Fairy land ; 63 
 And marr'd, with impious hand, each sweet design 
 Of Stephen Duck, and good Queen Caroline. 
 Haste, bid yon livelong Terras re-ascend, 
 Replace each vista, straighten every bend ; 
 Shut out the Thames ; shall that ignoble thing 65 
 Approach the presence of great Ocean's King ? 
 No ! let barbaric glories feast his eyes, 
 August Pagodas round his palace rise. 
 
 And 
 
 Verse 67. No! let barbaric glories.] So Milton. 
 ** Where the gorgeous east with richest hand 
 Showers on her Kings barbaric pearl and gold." 
 
[ lO ] 
 
 And finishM Richmond open to his view, 
 
 " A work to wonder at, perhaps" — a Kew. 70 
 
 Nor rest we here ; but, at our magic call, 
 Monkies shall climb our trees, and lizards crawl j 
 Huge dogs of Tibet bark in yonder grove. 
 Here parrots prate, there cats make cruel love. 
 In some fair island will we turn to grass 75 
 
 (With the Queen's leave) her elephant and ass ; 
 Giants from Africa shall guard the glades. 
 Where hiss our snakes, where sport our Tartar maids j 
 
 Or, 
 
 Verse 72. Monkies shall climb our trees.] ** In their lofty- 
 woods serpents and lizards of many beautiful sorts crawl upon 
 the ground. Innumerable monkies^ cats, and /larots clamber 
 upon the trees. Page 40. " In their lakes are many islands^ 
 some small, some large, amongst which are often seen stalking 
 along, the elephant, the rhinoceros, the dromedary, the ostrich, 
 and the giant baboon." Page 66.** They keep, in their inchsnted 
 scenes, a surprising variety of monstrous birds, reptiles and 
 animals, which are tamed by arr, and guarded by enormous 
 dogs of Tibet ^ and Afriean giants, in the habits of magicians.'* 
 Page 42. " Sometimes in this romantic excursion, the passenger 
 finds himself in extensive recesses, surrounded with arbours 
 of jessamine, vine, and roses; where beauteous Tartarian dam" 
 sels, in loose transparent robes that flutter in the air, present 
 him with rich wines, &c. and invite him to ta/fe the snveets of 
 retirement, on Persian carpets, and beds of Camusakin down.'* 
 Page 40. 
 
[ II ] 
 
 Or, wanting these, from Charlotte Hayes we bring 
 Damsels alike adroit to sport and sting. 80 
 
 Now to ouf lawns of dalliance and delight. 
 Join we the groves of horror and affright : 
 This to atchieve no foreign aids we try. 
 Thy gibbets, Bagshot ! shall our wants supply ; 
 Hounslow, whose heath sublimer terror fills, S^ 
 Shall with her gibbets lend her powder mills. 
 Here too, O King of Vengeance, in thy fane. 
 Tremendous Wilkes shall rattle his gold chain; 
 
 And 
 
 Verse 84. Thy gibbets, Bagshot.] " Their scenes of ter- 
 ror are composed of gloomy, woods, &c. gibbets, crosses, 
 wheels, and the whole apparatus of torture are seen from the 
 roads. Here too they conceal in cavities, on the summits of 
 the highest mountains, founderies, lime-kilns, and glass-works, 
 which send forth large volumes of flame, and continued co- 
 lumns of thick smoke, that give to these mountains the ap- 
 pearance of Volcanos." Page 37. *' Here the passenger from 
 time to time is surprized with repeated shocks of electrical 
 impulse; the earth trembles under him by the power of con- 
 fined air,'* &c. Page 39. Now to produce both these effects, 
 viz, the appearance of volcanos and earthquakes, we have here 
 substituted the occasional explosion of a powder mill, which (if 
 there be not too much simplicity in the contrivance) it is ap- 
 prehended will at once answer all the purposes oi lime-kilns and 
 electrical machines^ and imitate thunder and the explosion of cannon 
 into the bargain. Vide page 40. 
 
 Verse 87, Here too, O king of Vengeance, &c.J « In the 
 
[ 12 I 
 
 And round that fane on many a Tyburn tteei 
 Hang fragments dire of Newgate-histoiy : 9a 
 
 \On this shall Holland's dying speech be read. 
 Here Bute's confession, and his wooden head ; 
 While all the minor plunderers of the age, 
 Too numerous fat for this contracted page, 
 
 The Rigbys, 's, Mungos, Bradshaws there, 95 
 
 In straw-stuft effigy, shall kick the ain 
 
 - But say, ye powers, who come when fancy calls. 
 Where shall our mimic London rear her walls ? 
 
 That 
 
 most dismal recesses of the woods, are temples dedicated to the 
 Kin^ of Vengeance^ near which are pl-aced pillars of stone, with 
 fathetic descriptions of tragical events \ and many acts of cruelty 
 perpetrated there by outlaws and rohbers.^* Page 37, 
 
 Verse 88. Tremendous Wilkes.] This was written while 
 Mr. Wilkes was Sheriff of London, and when it was to be 
 feared he would rattle his chain a year longer as- Lord Mayor, 
 
 Verse 98. Where shall our mimic London, &c.] " There 
 is likewise in the same garden, viz. Yven-Ming-Yvcn, near 
 Pekin, a fortified to^n^ with its ports, streets, public squares^ 
 temples, markets, shops, and tribunals of juftice; in short, 
 with every thing that is at Pekin, only on a smaller scale. 
 
 ** In this town the Emperors of China, who are too much 
 the slaves of their greatness to appear in public, and their women, 
 who are excluded from it by custom, are frequently diverted 
 
 with 
 
[ 13 ] 
 
 That Eastern feature Art must next produce, 
 Tho' not for present, yet for future use. loo 
 
 Our sons some slave of greatness may behold. 
 Cast in the genuine Asiatic mould. 
 Who of three realms shall condescend to know 
 .No more than he can spy frrom Windsor's brow. 
 
 For Him, that blessing of a better time, 105 
 The Muse shall deal awhile in brick and lime 5 
 Surpass the bold AAEA^I in design. 
 And o*er the Thames fling one stupendous line 
 Of marble arches, in a bridge, that cuts 
 From Richmond Ferry slant to Brentford Butts, no 
 Brentford with London's charms will we adorn ; 
 Brentford, the bishoprick of Parson Home. 
 There, at one glance, the royal eye shall meet 
 Each varied beauty of St. James's Street ; 
 
 Stout 
 
 ^ith the hurry and bustle of the capita^, which is there repre- 
 fcnted, several times in the year, by the eunuchs of the palace," 
 Page 3a. 
 
 Verse 109. Of marble arches.] See Sir William's enormous 
 account of Chinese bridges^ too long to be here inserted. 
 Vide page 53, 
 
[ H ] 
 
 Stout Talbot there shall ply with hackney chair 115 
 And Patriot Betty fix her fruit-shop there. 
 Like distant thunder, now the coach of state 
 Rolls o'er the bridge, that groans beneath its weight. 
 The court has cross'd the stream ; the sports begin : 
 Now Nowel preaches of rebellion's sin ; 120 
 
 And as the powers of his strong pathos rise, 
 l-»o, brazen tears fall from Sir Fletcher's eyes. 
 While skulking round the pews, that babe of grace. 
 Who ne'er before at Sermon shew'd his face. 
 See Jemmy Twitcher shambles ; stop 1 stop thief! 
 He'as stol'n the Earl of Denbigh's handkerchief. 
 
 Let 
 
 Verse 115. Stout Talbot, &c.] " Some of these eunuchs 
 personate porters." Page 32. 
 
 Verse 116. And Patriot Betty.] "Fruits and all sorts of 
 refreshments are cried about the streets in this mock city." 
 Page 33. 
 
 Verse 122, Lo brazen tears, &c.] 
 
 *' Drew iron tears down Pluto*s cheek." Milton. 
 
 (Ver. 120. Rebellion's fin.] The thanks of the H, of Com- 
 mons, which ha^ been given to Dr. Nowell, Principal of St. 
 Mary's Hall in Oxford, for a fermon preached on the 30th of 
 Jan.were,upon a motion of one of the Members. expunged from 
 the journals, upon the revifion of fome offenfive paflages in the 
 fermon. Another Parliament reverfed this vote alfo, and re- 
 ftored the vote of thanks to Dr. Nowell, as it originally flood, 
 and now ftands. (Added by the publisher.) 
 
 Verse 125. See Jemmy Twitcher shambles.] *' Neither 
 are thieves, pickpockets, and sharpers forgot in these festivals ; 
 that noble profession is usually allotted to a good number of 
 the most dextrous eunuchs." Vide, ibid. (N.B. The Earl of 
 Sandwich at that time was called Jemmy Twitcher.) 
 
[ '5 ] 
 
 Let Barrington arrest him in mock fury, 127 
 
 And Mansfield hang the knave without a jury. 
 But hark the voice of battle shouts from far ! 
 The Jews and Macaronis are at war : 130 
 
 The Jews prevail, and, thund'ring from the stocks, 
 They seize, they bind, they circumcise Charles Fox. 
 Fair Schwellenbergen smiles the sport to see. 
 And all the Maids of Honour cry Te ! He ! 
 
 Be these the rural pastimes that attend 135 
 
 Great Brunswick's leisure : these shall best unbend 
 His royal mind, whene'er, from state withdrawn. 
 He treads the velvet of his Richmond lawn ; 
 These shall prolong his Asiatic dream, 
 Tho' Europe's balance trembles on its beam. 140 
 
 And 
 
 Verse 127. Let Barrington.] " The watch seizes on the 
 culprit.'* Vide, ibid. 
 
 Verse 128. And Mansfield, &c.] " He is conveyed before 
 thejudge, and sometimes severely baftinadoed." Ibid, 
 
 Verfe 129. But hark, &c.] " Quarrels happen— battles 
 ensue." Ibid. 
 
 Verfe 132. Circumcise Charles Fox.] Every liberty is per- 
 mitted, there is no distinction of persons. Ibid. 
 
 Verse 134. And all the maids of honour, &c.] <* This is 
 done to divert his Imperial Majefty, and the ladies of his train.*' 
 Vide, ibid. 
 
[ 16 ] 
 
 And thou, Sir William ! while thy plastic hand 
 Creates each wonder, which thy Bard has planned. 
 While, as thy art commands, obsequious rise 
 Whate'er can please, or frighten, or surprize, 
 O! let that Bard his Knight's protedion claim, 145 
 And share, like faithful Sancho, Quixote's fame. 
 
 AN 
 
( 17 ) 
 
 AN 
 
 HEROIC POSTSCRIPT 
 
 TO 
 
 THE PUBLIC, 
 
 Occasioned by their favourable Reception of a late 
 
 HEROIC EPISTLE ^ 
 
 TO c/r 
 
 w 
 
 SIR WILLIAM CHAMBERS, Knt. &c. 
 By the AUTHOR of that EPISTLE. 
 
 Sic Hides musay paullo major a canamus* Virgil. 
 
 Printed originally in the year i774» 
 
( 19 ) 
 
 ':;2ss: 
 
 AN 
 
 HEROIC POSTSCRIPT 
 
 TO 
 
 THE PUBLIC, 
 
 1 THAT of late, Sir William's Bard and Squire, 
 March'd with his helm and buckler on my lyre, 
 (What time the Knight prick'd forth in iU-starr'd 
 
 haste. 
 Comptroller General of the works of taste,) 
 Now to the Public t^ne my grateful lays, 5 
 
 Warm'd with the sun-shiqe of the public praise ; 
 Warm'd too with mem'ry of that golden time. 
 When Almon gave me reason for my rhyme j 
 
 C a - — gilt- 
 
 Verse i. I that of late] 
 Jlle ego qui quondam^ ^c, ViRGiL, or somebody for him. 
 
 Verse 4. Works of taste] Put synonimously for his Ma- 
 jefty 's work«. Sec Sir JVilliam's title page. 
 
[ 20 ] 
 
 » — glittering orbs, and, what endear'd them more. 
 
 Each glittering orb the sacred features bore 
 
 Of George the good, the gracious, and the great,' 
 
 Unfird, unsweated, all of sterling weight; 
 
 Or, were they not, they pass'd with current ease. 
 
 Good seemings then were good realities ; 
 
 No Senate had convey'd, by smuggling art, 
 
 Pow'r to the mob to play Cadogan's part. 
 
 Now, thro' the land, that impious pow*r prevails. 
 
 All weigh their Sovereign in their private scales. 
 
 And find him wanting : all save me alonCj, 
 
 For, sad to say ! my glittering orbs are gone. 20 
 
 But ill beseems a Poet to repent. 
 Lightly they came, and full as lightly went. 
 Peace to their manes 1 may they never feel 
 Some keen Scotch banker's unrelenting steel ; 
 While I again the Muse's sickle bring 25 
 
 To cut down Dunces, wheresoe'er they spring. 
 Bind in poetic sheaves the plenteous ciop^ 
 And stack my full-ear'd load in Almon's shop. 
 
 For 
 
 1( Verse 9. Q. Ten, or twelve ?) 
 Verse 16. Cadogan's part] Master of the Mint. 
 Verse 19. And find him wanting.] Thou art weighed in 
 the balances, and art found wanting. Daniel, chap. 8, v. 27. 
 
[ 21 ] 
 
 For now, my Muse, thy fame is fixt as fate. 
 Tremble ye Fools I scorn, ye Knaves I hate j 
 I know the vigour of thy eagle wings, 
 I know thy strains can pierce the ear of Kings. 
 Did China's monarch here in Britain doze. 
 And was, like western Kings, a King of Prose, 
 Thy song could cure his Asiatic spleen, ^5 
 
 And make him wish to see and to be seen. 
 That solemn vein of irony so fine. 
 Which, e'en Reviewers own, adorns thy line. 
 Would make him soon against his greatness sin. 
 Desert his sofa, mount his palanquin, 40 
 
 And post where'er the Goddess led the way. 
 Perchance to proud Spithead's imperial bay. 
 
 There 
 
 Vese 34. A King of Prose.] Kien-Long, the present Em- 
 peror of China is a poet. M. de Voltaire did him the honour 
 to treat him as a brother above two years ago; and my late pa- 
 tron, Sir William Chambers, has given a fine and most intelli- 
 gible prose version of an ode of his Majesty upon tea, in his 
 postscript to his Dissertation. I am, however, vain enough to 
 think, the Emperor's composition would have appeared still 
 better in my heroic verse; but Sir William forestalled it; on 
 which account I have entirely broke with him. 
 
 Verse 37. That solemn vein of irony.] " A fine vein of 
 solemn irony runs through this piece." See Monthly Revie^-y 
 under the article of the Heroic Epistle to Sir William Chambers, 
 
 c 3 
 
There should he see, as other folks have seen, 
 That ships have anchors, and that seas are green, 
 Should own the tackling trim, the streamers fine. 
 With Sandwich prattle, and with Bradshaw dine. 
 And then sail back, amid the cannon's roar. 
 As safe, as sage, as when be left the shore* 
 
 Sudh is thy pow'r, O Goddess of the song. 
 Come then and guide my careless pen along ; 50 
 Yet keep it in the bounds of sense and verse. 
 Nor, like Mac-Homer, make me gabble Erse. 
 No, let the flow of these spontaneous rhymes 
 So truly touch the temper of the times. 
 That he who runs may read -, while well he knows 
 I write in metre, what he thinks in prose : 
 So shall my song, undisciplined by art. 
 Find a sure patron in each English heart. 
 
 If 
 
 Verse 43. There should he sec.] A certain naval erent 
 happened just about two calendar months after the publication 
 of the Heroic Epistle. *Twas impossible, considering the ne- 
 cessary preparations, it could have been sooner, F^cts arc 
 stubborn things. 
 
 Verse ^2, Nor like Mac-Homer.] See, if the reader think* 
 woi th while, a late translation of the Iliad. 
 
[ ^3 ] 
 If this it's fate, let all the frippery things 60 
 
 Be-plac'd, be-pension'd, and be-starr'd by Kings, 
 Frown on the page, and with fastidious eye. 
 Like old young Fannius, call it blasphemy. 
 Let these prefer a levee's harmless talk. 
 Be ask'd how often, and how far they walk, - 
 Proud of a single word, nor hope for more, 65 
 
 The' Jenkinson is blest with many a score. 
 
 For other ears my honest numbers sound. 
 
 With other praise those numbers shall be crown'd. 
 
 Praise that shall spread, no pow'r can make it less. 
 
 While Britain boasts the bulwark of her press. 70 
 
 Yes, sons of freedom ! yes, to whom I pay. 
 
 Warm from the heart, this tributary lay ; 
 
 That lay shall live, tho' Court and Grub-street sigh. 
 
 Your young Marcellus was not born to die : 
 
 The 
 
 Verse 62. Like old young Fannius.] The noble personage 
 here alluded to, being asked to read the Heroic Epistle, 
 said, •* No, it was as bad as blasphemy.'* 
 
 Verse 62. Fannius.] Before I sent the M. S. to the press, I 
 discovered, that an accidental blot had m?de all but the first 
 syllable of this name illegible, I was doubtful, therefore, whether 
 to print itFanniusor Fannia. After much deliberation,! thought 
 it best to use the masculine termination. If I have done wrong 
 I ask pardon, not only of the Author, but the Lady. The Edmr, 
 C 4 
 
[ 24 ] 
 The Muse shall nurse him up to man's estate, 75 
 And break the black asperity of fate. 
 
 Admit him then your candidate for fame, 
 Pleas'd if in your review he read his name, 
 Tho' not with Mason and with Goldsmith put. 
 Yet cheek by jowl with Garrick, Colman, Foote 1 
 But if with higher Bards that name you range, 8r 
 His modesty must think your judgment strange. 
 So, when o'er Crane-Court's philosophic Gods 
 The Jove-like majesty of Pringle nods. 
 If e'er he chance to wake on Newton's chair. 
 He " wonders how the devil he came there." 
 
 Whate'er his fame, or fate, on this depend ; 
 He is, and means to be his country's friend. 
 'Tis but to try his strength that now he sports 
 With Chinese gardens, and with Chinese courts : 
 But if that country claim a graver strain. 
 If real danger threat fair Freedom's reign. 
 
 If 
 
 Verse 76. And break the black asperity of fate.] 
 
 — — — — — " Si qua fata af^era rumpaSf 
 
 Tu Marcellus eris." 
 (Verse 8^, The Royal Society held their meetings in Crane- 
 court, Fleet-street, at that time.) 
 
[ H ] 
 
 If hireling Peers, in prostitution bold, 
 
 Sell her as cheaply as themselves they sold ; 
 
 Or they, who honoured by the People's choice, 95 
 
 Against that People lift their rebel voice, 
 
 And, basely crouching for their paltry pay. 
 
 Vote the best birthright of her sons away. 
 
 Permit a nation's in-born wealth to fly 
 
 In mean, unkingly prodigality ; 100 
 
 Nor, e'er they give, ask how the sums were spent^ 
 
 So quickly squandered, tho' so lately lent 
 
 If this they dare ; the thunder of his song. 
 Rolling in deep-ton'd energy along. 
 Shall strike, with Truth's dread bolt, each mis- 
 creant's name, > 105 
 Who, dead to duty, senseless e'en to shame 
 Betray'd his country. Yes, ye faithless crew. 
 His Muse's vengeance shall your crimes purfue, 
 Stretch you on fatire's rack, and bid you lie 
 Fit garbage for the hell-hound. Infamy. no 
 
AN 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 TO 
 
 Dr. SHEBBEARE. 
 
 By Malcolm Macgregor, of Knightsbridge, Esq« 
 Author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir Willianj Chambers, 3ix, 
 
 Printed originally in the year 1774, 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 1 HOUGH I look upon this Poem, in point of elevation 
 of diction and sublimity of sentiment, to be as highly heroi- 
 cal, as my Epistle to Sir William Chambers, yet I have not 
 thought proper to add that epithet to it on the title-page. 
 I am willing to wish that first production of my muse may 
 preserve the distinction which it now possesses, of being 
 called The Heroic Epistle, par excellence. Besides this 
 consideration, the different ranks of the two persons, to 
 whom these two works are addressed, require a difference 
 to be made in this matter; and it would be unpardonable in 
 me not to discriminate between a Comptroller of his Ma- 
 jesty's Works, and the Hackney Scribbler of a Newspaper; 
 between a Placeman and a Pensioner, a Knight of the Polar 
 Star, and a broken Apothecary. 
 
AH 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 TO 
 
 Dr. S H E B B E A R E. 
 
 KJ For a thousand tongues ! and ever)^ tongue 
 
 Like Johnson's, arm'd with words of six feet long, 
 
 In multitudinous vociferation 
 
 To panegyricize this glorious nation, 
 
 Whose liberty results from her taxation. 
 
 O, for that passive, pensionary spirit, 
 
 That by its prostitution proves its merit ! 
 
 That rests on right divine all regal claims. 
 
 And gives to George, whatever it gave to James: 
 
 Then 
 
 Vcr. a. Words of six feet long.] Sesquipedalia verba. Hoji« 
 
 } 
 
r 32 ] 
 
 Then should my Tory numbers, old Shebbeare, 10 
 Tickle the tatter'd fragment of thy ear ! 
 Then all that once was virtuous, wise, or brave, 
 That queird a tyrant, that abhorr'd a slave. 
 Then Sydney's, Kus^et^ patriot fame should fall, 
 Besmear'd with mire, like black Dalrymple's gall ; 
 Then, like thy prose, should my felonious verse 
 Tear each immortal plqnie from Nassau's hearse. 
 That modern monarchs, in that plumage gay. 
 Might stare and strut, the peacocks of a day. 
 
 But I, like Ansty, feel myself unfit 20 
 
 To run, with hollow speed, two heats of wit: 
 He, at first starting, won both fame and money, 
 The belts ran high on Bladud's Cicerone; 
 s Since 
 
 Ver. II. Tickle the tatter'd fragment.] Churchill, in al- 
 luding to this capita/ anecdote in our Doctor's life, says, in his 
 
 poem called the Author, 
 
 The whok< intent 
 
 Of that parade, was fame, no^ punishment. 
 
 Intimating that his ears received no detriment in the pillory. 
 
 My line intimates, that they did. However, if my intimation 
 
 be false, it is easily refuted : the Doctor has only to expose his 
 
 ears again to the public, and the real fact will be flagrant. 
 
 Ver. 2r^, Bladud's Cicerone ] Anglice, Bath Guide. 
 
[ 33 ] 
 
 Since distanc'd quite, like a gall'd jade he winces> 
 .And lashes unknown priests, and praises well-known 
 So I, when first I turn'd th' heroic lay, [princes. 
 Gain*d Pownall's praise, as well as Almon's pay. 
 In me the nation plac'd its tuneful hope. 
 Its second Churchill, or at least its Pope: 
 Proudly I prick'd along, Sir William's squire, 30 
 Bade kings recite my strains and queens admire; 
 Chaste maids of honour praisM my stout endeavour. 
 Sir Thomas swore,*' The fellow was damn'd clever." 
 
 But 
 
 Ver. 25. Lashes unknown priests.] Without a note posterity 
 will never understand this line. Two or three years ago this 
 gentleman found himself libelled in a newspaper; and on sus- 
 pecting a certain clergyman to be the author, he wrote a first 
 canto of a poem, called The Priest Dissected, in which he 
 prepared all chirurgical matters previous to the operation. In 
 the mean time the parson proved an alihi, and saved himself. 
 To this first and unique canto the author prefixed a something 
 in which he exculpated himself from being the author of the 
 Heroic Epistle, which if seems had been laid to his charge 
 during the time the clan of Macgreggors continued without a 
 name, and which, as the world well knows, was the only rea- 
 son which prevented me from claiming the merit of that 
 production. It is to this something, that the latter part of the 
 line alludes. For in it he had told the public, that his Majesty 
 had ten children, which it knew very well before. Hence the 
 epithet tve/l-knonvn 
 
 Ver. 33. Sir Thomas Robinson.] The Petronius of the present 
 age needs not the additon ofasirnameto make the world 
 certain who is meant by this appellative. 
 
 D 
 
C 34 ] 
 
 But popularity, alas ! has wings. 
 And flits as soon from poets as from kings. 35 
 
 My pompous Postscript found itself disdained 
 As much as Milton's Paradise regained : 
 And when I dar'd the Patent Snuffers handle, 
 To trim, with Pinchy's aid. Old England's candle, 
 The lyric muse, so lame was her condition, aq 
 
 Could hardly hop beyond a third edition. 
 Yes 'tis a general truth, and strange as true^ 
 (Kenrick shall prove it in his next Review) 
 That no one bard, in these degenerate days. 
 Can write two works deserving eqiial praise, 45 
 
 Whether the matter of which minds are made 
 Be grown of late mephitic and decay'd, 
 Or wants phlogiston, I forbear to say. 
 The problem's more in Doctor Priestley's way. 
 He knows of spirit the material whole^ 50 
 
 For Priestley has the cure of Shelburne's soul.. 
 
 Enough of souls, unless we waste a line, 
 Shebbeare ! to pay a compliment to thine : 
 
 Which 
 
 Vcr. 51. Th€ cure of Shelburne's §ouI.] It is not here insinu* 
 ated, that the soul in question wants curing. The word cur^ 
 is here put for £are^ in the sense in which ecclesiastical lawyers 
 use cura auimarum* 
 
[ 35 3 
 Which forg'd, of old, of strong Hibernian brass. 
 Shines through the Paris plaister of thy face. 
 And bronzes it, secure from shame, or sense. 
 To the flat glare of finished impudence. 
 Wretch I that from Slander's filth art ever gleaning. 
 Spite without spirit, malice without meaning : 
 The same abusive, base, abandoned thing, 60 
 
 When pilloried, or pensioned by a King. 
 Old as thou art, methinks, 'twere sage advice, 
 ThatNorth should call thee ofFfrom hunting Price. 
 Some younger blood -hound of his bawling pack 
 Might sorer gall his presbyterian back. 6c 
 
 Thy toothless jaws should free thee from the fight; 
 Thou canst but mumble, when thou mean'st to bite. 
 
 Say, then, to give a requiem to thy toils. 
 What if my muse array'd her in thy spoils, 
 
 Andtookthefieldforthee,thro'puregood-nature ? 70 
 Courts prais'd by thee, are curs'd beyond her satire. 
 Yet, when she pleaseSj^ she can deal in praise : 
 Bxemjili gratia^ hear her fluent lays 
 
 Extol 
 Ver. 63. Froni hunting Price] See a series of wretched 
 letters, \vritten by Shebbeare, in the PubJic Advcrtifer, and 
 other papers* 
 
 D % 
 
L 36 ] 
 
 Extol the present, the propitious hour, 
 
 When Europe, trembling at Britannia's power, 75 
 
 Bids all her princes, with pacific care. 
 
 Keep neutral distance, while she wings the war 
 
 Cross the. Atlantic vast ; in dread array, 
 
 Herself to vanquish in America. 
 
 Where soon, we trust, the brother chiefs shall see 
 
 The Congress pledge them in a cup of tea ; ^ i 
 
 Toast peace and plenty to their mother nation, 
 
 Give three huzzas to George and to taxation. 
 
 And beg, to make their loyal hearts the lighter. 
 
 He'd send them o'er Dean Tucker, with a mitre. 85 
 
 In Fancy's eye, I ken them from afar 
 
 Circled with feather wreaths, unstain'd by tar| 
 
 In place of laurels, these shall bind their brow. 
 
 Fame, honour, virtue, all are feathers now. 
 
 Ev'n beauty's self, unfeather'd, if we spy, 90 
 
 Is hideous to our Macaroni eye. 
 
 Foolish the bard who, in such flimsy times. 
 Would load with satire, or with sense, his rhymes : 
 No, let my numbers flutter light in air. 
 As careless as the silken Gossimer. 95 
 
 Or 
 
t 37 ] 
 
 Or should I, playful, lift the muse's scourge, 
 Thy cocks should lend their tails,my Cocking George, 
 To make the rod. So fear not thou the song; 
 To whip a post, I ne'er will waste a thong. 
 Were I inclined to punish courtly tools, loo 
 
 I'd lash the knaves before I flapped the fools. 
 Gigantic vice should on my ordeal burn. 
 Long ere it came to thy poor pigmy turn. 
 
 But sure 'tis best, whatever rash Whigs may say. 
 To sleep within a whole skin, while one may;' 105 
 For Whigs are mighty prone to run stark mad, 
 If credence in Archbishops may be had : 
 Therefore I'll keep within discretion's rule. 
 And turn true Tory of the Mansfield school. 
 So shall I *scape that creature's tyger paw, 1 10 
 
 Which some call Liberty, and some call Law; 
 Whose whale-like mouth is of that savage shape, 
 Whene'er his long-rob'd shewman bids him gape, 
 
 With 
 
 Ver. 97. My cocking George.] A great cock-fighter, and 
 little senator, who, in the last Parliament, called the Heroic 
 Postscript a libel. 
 
 Ver. III. Which some call Liberty.] With courtiers and 
 churchmen the terms are s^'nonimous. See a late Sermon. 
 
 u 3 
 
C 38 1 
 
 With tusks s6 strong, with grinders so tremendous. 
 And such a length of gullet. Heaven defend us ! 115 
 That should you peep into the red-raw track, 
 'Twould make your cold flesh creep upon you back. 
 A maw like that, what mortal may withstand ? 
 •Twould swallow all the poets in the land. 
 
 Come, then, Shebbear-i?! and hear thy bard 
 deliver 1 20 
 
 Unpaid-for praises to thy pension-giver. 
 Hear me, like Tucker, swear, " so help me, muse!" 
 I write not for preferment's golden views. 
 But hold ; 'tis on thy province to intrude: 
 I would be loyal, but would not be rude. 125 
 
 To thee, my veteran, I his fame consign: 
 Take thou St. James's, be St. Stephen's mine. 
 
 Hail, genial hotbed ! whose prolific soil 
 So well repays all North's perennial toil. 
 Whence he can raise, if want or whim inclines, 130 
 A crop of votes, as plentiful as pines. 
 
 Wet* 
 
 Ver. 122. Like Tucker swear.] The reverend Dean took a 
 solemn oath in one of his late pamphlets, that he would not be 
 a bishop. 
 
i 39 1 
 
 Wet-nurse of tavern-waiters and Nabobs, 
 
 That empties first, and after fills their fobs: 
 
 (As Pringle, to procure a sane secretion, 135 
 
 Purges ihtjirima via of repletion.) 
 
 What scale of metaphor shall Fancy raise. 
 
 To climb the heights of thy stupendous praise ? 
 
 Thrice has the sun commenced his annual ride. 
 Since full of years and praise, thy mother died. 
 'Twas then I saw thee, with exulting eyes, 140, 
 A second phoenix, from her ashes rise; 
 MarkM all the graces of thy loyal crest. 
 Sweet with the perfume of its parent nest. 
 Rare chick ! How worthy of all court caresses. 
 How soft, how echo-like, it chirpM addresses. 145 
 Proceed, I cry'd, thy full-fledg'd plumes unfold, 
 Each true-blue feather shall be tipt with gold ; 
 Ordain*d thy race of future fame to run. 
 To do, whate'er thy mother left undone : 
 In all her smooth, obsequious paths proceed, 1 50 
 For, know, poor Opposition wants ahead. 
 With horn and hound her truant schoolboys roam. 
 And for a fox-chace quit St. Stephen's dome, 
 
 p 4 Forgetful 
 
[40 3 
 
 Forgetful of their grandsire Nimrod's plan, 
 " A mighty hunter, but his prey was man." 15^ 
 The rest, at crouded Ahnack's, nightly bett. 
 To stretch their own beyond the nation's debt. 
 Vote then secure ; the needful millions raise, 
 That fill the privy-purse with means and ways. 
 And do it quickly too, to shew your breeding, 16© 
 The weazel Scots arc hungry, and want feeding. 
 Nor need ye wait for that more plenteous season, 
 When mad America is brought to reason. 
 Obsequious Ireland, at her sister's claim, 
 (Sister or step-dame, call her either name) 1 6^ 
 
 Shall pour profusely her Pactolian tide. 
 Nor leave her native patriots unsupply'd. 
 
 Earl 
 
 Ver. 155. A mighty hunter.] A line of Mr, Pope's. If 
 our younger senators would take the hint, and now and then 
 hunt a minister instead of a fox, they might perhaps find some 
 fun in it. 
 
 Ver. 161. The weasel Scots.] It is not I, but Shakespeare^ 
 that gives my countrymen this epithet. See Hen. V. act i. 
 scene ii. 
 
 For once the eagle England hing in prey^ 
 
 To her unguarded nest the iveazel Scot 
 
 Comes sneaking, and so sucks her princely eggs. &c. 
 
C 41 ] ' 
 
 Earl Nugent sung, while yet but simple Clare, 
 That wretched Ireland had no gold to spare. 
 How couldst thou, simple Clare ! that isle abuse, 170 
 Which prompts and pays thy linsey-woolsey muse ? 
 Mistaken peer ! Her treasures ne*er can cease. 
 Did she not long pay Viry for our peace ? 
 
 Say, 
 
 Ver. 168. Earl Nugent sung.] The intellect not only of 
 posterity, but of the present reader, must here again be en- 
 lightened by a note: for this song was sung above two years 
 ago, and is consequently forgotten. Yet if the reader will 
 please to recollect how easily I brought to life Sir William 
 Chambers's prose dissertation which had been dead half that 
 time, he will, I hope, give me credit for being able to recover 
 this dead poem from oblivion also. It was sent 10 her Majesty 
 on her birth-day, with a present of Irish grogram; and the 
 newspaper of the day said (but I know not how truly) that the 
 Queen was graciously pleased to thank the noble author for 
 both his pieces of stuff. Ttie poet's exordium seemed to have 
 been taken from an Ode in Hoi ace. It began by assuring 
 her Majesty, that Ireland was too poor to present her with a 
 piece ot gold plate. 
 
 Could poor lerne gifts afford. 
 
 Worthy the consort t)f her lord. 
 
 Of purest gold a sculp; ur'd frame 
 
 Just emblem of her zeal should flame. 
 This supposed poverty of his native country struck me at the 
 time as a vatxt gratii- dictum, I have thciefore, from verse 180 
 to verse 186 of this epistle, enaeavoured to refute it, for the 
 Jionour of Ireland^ 
 
t 4a ] 
 
 Say, did she not, till rang the royal knell,^ 
 Irradiate vestal majesty at Zell ? , 17 J 
 
 Sure then she might afford^ to my poor thinkings 
 One golden tumbler, for Queen Charlotte's drinking* 
 I care not, if her hinds on fens and rocks 
 Ne'er roast one shoulder of their fatted flocks; 
 Shall Irish hinds to mutton make pretensions ? i8c^ 
 Be theirs potatoes, and be ours their pensions • 
 If they refuse, great North, by me advis'd. 
 Enact, that each potatoe be excis'd. 
 
 Ah ! hadst thou, North, adopted this sage plaii^ 
 And scorn'd to tax each British serving-man, 185 
 Thy friend Macgreggor, when he came to town, 
 (As poets should do) in his chaise and one. 
 Had seen his foot-boy Sawney, once his pride, 
 On stunt Scotch poney trotting by his side. 
 
 With 
 
 Ver. 278. I care not, &c.] Alluding to these lines in the 
 same poem : 
 
 Where starving hinds from fens and rocks. 
 View pastures rich with herds and flocks j 
 And only view— forbid to taste, &c, 
 Ai)d in a note on the passage, he tells us that these hinds never 
 eat animal food ; but says not one word about potatoes, that 
 moat nutritious of all aliments,which is surely very disingenuous. 
 
^ 
 
 [ 43 ] 
 
 With frock of fustian, and with cape of red, 19a 
 Nor grudg'd the guinea tax'd upon his head. 
 But tush, I heed not-— for my country's good 
 ril pay it---it will purchase Yankee blood—* 
 
 And well I ween, for this heroic lay, 
 
 Almon will give me wherewithal to pay, 195 
 
 Tax then, ye greedy ministers, your fill ; 
 No matter, if with ignorance or skill : 
 Be ours to pay, and that's an easy task. 
 In these blest times to have is but to ask ; 
 Ye know, whate'er is from the public prest, 200 
 Will sevenfold sink into your private chest : 
 For he, the nursing father, that receives. 
 Full freely tho' he takes, as freely gives. 
 So when great Cox, at his mechanic call. 
 Bids orient pearls from golden dragons fall, 205 
 Each little dragonet, with brazen grin. 
 Gapes for the precious prize, and gulps it in : 
 Yet when we peep behind the magic scene. 
 One master-wheel directs the whole machine; 
 The self-same pearls, in nice gradation, all 210 
 Around one common centre, rise and f^ll. 
 
 Thus 
 /Vcr# %ix. Around one common centre.] I was let into 
 
I 44 ] 
 
 Thus maty our state- museum long surprise | 
 And what is sunk by votes in bribes arise ; 
 Till mock'd and jaded with the puppet-play, 
 Old England's Genius turns with scorn away, 215 
 Ascends his sacred bark, the sails unfurl'd, 
 And steers his state to the wide western world : 
 High on the helm majestic Freedom stands. 
 In act of cold contempt she waves her hands ; 
 Take, slaves, she cries, the realms that I disown, 220 
 Renounce your birth-right, and destroy my throne. 
 
 this secret by my late patron, Sir William Chambers; who, as 
 Mr. Cox's automata were very much in the Chinese taste, was 
 very curious to discover their mechanism. I must do the 
 Knight the justice to own that some of my best things are bor- 
 rowed from him. 
 
THE 
 
 IMPERIAL EPISTLE 
 
 \ 
 
 FROM 
 
 K I E N LONG, 
 
 EMPEROR OF CHINA, 
 TO 
 
 GEORGE THE THIRD, 
 
 KING OF GREAT BRITAIN, &C. &C. &C. 
 IN THE YEAR I794, 
 
 Transmitted from the Emperor, and presented to his Britannic Majesty by his 
 Excellency the Right Honourable George Earl Macartney of the Kingdom of 
 Ireland, K. B. Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to the Emperor 
 of China in the Years 1792, 1793, and 1794. 
 
 TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH VERSE FROM THE ORIGINAL 
 CHINESE POETRY. 
 
 WITH 
 
 NOTES BY VARIOUS PERSONS OF EMINENCE AND DISTINCTION, 
 AND BY THE TRANSLATOR. .^> i-^ 
 
 -^i-if^' 
 
 Ignotum Rutulis carmen cceloqiie Latino ^-^ 
 
 Fingimus^ etjinem egressi legemque firiorum, 
 
 Juv. Sat. vi. 
 
 Published originally in the year 1 795, 
 
[ 47 3 
 
 PY THE TRANSLATOR, 
 A PREFACE. 
 
 As no writer ever stood in greater need of an apology than 
 myself, I hope I shall be permitted to give a few words in 
 explanation of my labour. I have undertaken to translate 
 into English verse the poetry of the Emperor of China, who 
 is stiled " The torch of the East, the true descendant of 
 « Taytsoy, and the providence of Heaven." I have studied 
 almost every principal writer on the subject, but must ex- 
 cept the general History of China, translated by Father 
 Moyrac de Mailla in Twelve volumes /^to, which I just saw 
 but could not obtain; and I regret it daily with all the 
 fulness of that desiderium which so dear a head as Father 
 Moyrac de Mailla*s demands. I confess also that I have 
 received assistance from the best scholars and interpreters 
 employed in Lord Macartney's Embassy, (though I was 
 unfortunately deprived of the aid I hoped, from the inge- 
 nious Mr, Plumb, stiled by way of eminence the Inter- 
 preter, whom I regret still more than Father Moyrac de 
 Mailla); yet I am convinced that it is impossible to do full 
 justice to the imperial Chinese phrases and expressions 
 which are not always intelligible to an European. I have 
 tlierefore been under the necessity of supplying many pas- 
 sages 
 
C 48 3 
 
 sages from conjecture, or by the analogy of meaning; and 
 this must be considered by any person who may have an 
 opportunity of comparing my English with the Emperor's 
 Chinese. Yet if the reader should be of opinion that I have 
 sometimes totally misunderstood, and sometimes falsely 
 conjectured, the meaning of the Emperor, he will be in- 
 clined to forgive me, when he considers for a moment the 
 nature of the Chinese language. 
 
 Father Du Halde will inform him, that ** there was a 
 " Dictionary composed by order of the late Emperor, 
 " and that it did not contain all the language, since 
 *^ it was found necessary to add a Supplement In 
 •* TWENTY- FOUR VoLUMES, though the first work con- 
 " tained ninety-five Volumes, the greatest part very 
 " thick and in a small character*.'* I must observe, that I 
 was favoured only with ihe first ninety-five volumes, some 
 of which were a little imperfect; and Sir George Staun- 
 ton himself could not procure for me the supplemental 
 twenty 'four, though he endeavoured to oblige me with the 
 greatest politeness. This must be my first excuse. As to the 
 words themselves Father Du Halde shall give an example 
 or two, which will be sufficient to give an idea of the rest. 
 He says, " The word Tchu when pronounced slowly, sig- 
 " nifies a lord or master \ if with an even tone, it signifies; 
 " a hog; if pronounced quick, means a kitchen; if in a 
 ** strong and masculine tone, it signifies a column.^* Again; 
 *' The syllable Po, according to it*s various accents and 
 " modes of pronunciation has eleven different meanings; 
 *' it signifies 1, Glass. 2, to boil. 3, to winnow rice. 4, 
 ** wise or liberal. 5, to prepare. 6, an old woman. 7, 
 ** to break or cleave. 8, inclined. 9, a very little. 10, 
 
 v *« to 
 
 * Du Halde History of China, v. s. p. 398. Eng. edit. 8vo. 
 
t 49 ] 
 
 *> to water, ii, a slave or captive*." Under circumstan« 
 ces like these I really think it impossible, and rather 
 unkind, not to make some allowance for my errors, as I 
 certainly have not the opportunity of hearing the pronuncia- 
 tion, and of conversing so frequently in Chinese, as I could 
 wish; and, I think, if even an ambassador should be found 
 to have made a mistake or two, we may be sorry, but we 
 cannot be much surprised. 
 
 My original is an Ode; but for various reasons I have 
 been obliged to soften it down to the milder and more fami- 
 liar form of an Epistle. Besides, a political composition 
 requires a discussion of subjects not always lyrical in this 
 country; and the internal ceconomy of a kingdom will not 
 easily submit to an English stanza, however varied: but 
 this is different in the court of Pekin. 
 
 Yet in order to give the reader some idea df the difficulty 
 of translating poetically such sublime writings as the Em- 
 peror's, I beg leave to exhibit some part of the same impe- 
 rial Author's " Ode in praise of drinking tea.'* 
 But as it is impossible for an uninstructed European to 
 conceive the form and solemnity, which accompanied the 
 publication of that great national poem, he must for a few 
 moments suspend his curiosity for the work itself, while I 
 convince him of how much greater consequence the poetry 
 of an Emperor seems to be, than his politics. I am in- 
 formed by Sir William Chambers K.P.S. &c. &c. &c. in 
 his note upon the Discourse of Chet-qua of Quang- 
 Chew-Fu Gentleman, annexed to his famous Dissertation 
 on Oriental Gardening in 410. page 118, second Edition, 
 
 that 
 
 * Du Halde Hist, of China, v. a. p. 390. Eng. edit. 8vo. and 
 Abbe Grosier's Account of China, v. 2. p. 382. Grosier's 
 work is an agreeable compilation from various authors. 
 
 £ 
 
[ 5° 3 
 
 that *« The OjOe in ps.aise of drinku\g tea was pub*^ 
 " lised by the imperial edict of KIEN LONG, reigning 
 " Emperor of China, bearing date the twelfth day of the 
 *• ninth moon of the thirteenth year of his reign, in 
 ** Thirty-two different types and characters ^ under the 
 •* inspection of Yun-lou and Houng-yen, Princes by the 
 ** title of Tsin-Suang; Fou Keng, Grandee by the title of 
 " Taypao; Count, by the title of Valiant; and First Presi- 
 ♦* dent of almost all the great tribunals of the empire; whose 
 " Deputies were Ak-down and Tsing-pou, Grandees by the 
 " title of Taytzee Chaopao; and these were again assisted 
 •* by Isau, Fouki, Elquinque, Tetchi, Mingtee, Tsoung- 
 " ming, Tchaugyu, Tounmin, and about a dozen other 
 «* Mandarins of rank and reputation; so that there is no 
 •* doubt but the work is perfectly correct." 
 
 This I believe is perfectly new in the annals of poetry 
 to most of my readers. Now in our Europe, we find 
 the reverse in the present time, even in political sub- 
 jects. Emperors, Kings, Vice-roys, Governors, Dukes, 
 Admirals and Generals publish their Manifestos and 
 Counter Manifestos with advice, or without advice, just 
 as they please, and generally in a noble manner, without 
 any consideration at all, like the Duke of Bruns- 
 wick, Lord Hood, or Earl Fitzwilliam. To be sure in 
 these manifestos mere trifles are at stake ; such as the lives 
 and properties, the happiness or the misery of millions. 
 But in China (hear this, ye Right Honourable Statesmen, 
 William Pitt and Henry Dundas!) when an Emperor's 
 Ode in praise of drinking tea, is to be published. 
 Princes, Grandees, Counts, First Presidents of all the 
 great tribunals, and Mandarins of high rank an4 reputa* 
 tion, are summoned to sanction and superintend the 
 
 publication of the important national work, 
 
 I shall 
 
1 shall make no excuse for these preliminary articles, but 
 proceed to present the reader with some sublime passages 
 from the Ode itself, dignified and ushered in with the solem* 
 nity which I have described, and as it stands in page 119 o£ 
 Sir William Chambers's Discourse, just mentioned. The 
 original commences with these words, " Meihoa che pott 
 '* yao^ &c." the first verse will be quite sufficient to shew 
 the harmonic power of the original; the translation is as 
 follows. " The colours of the Meihoa are never brilliant, 
 *' yet is the flower always pleasing; in fragrance or neat- 
 " ness the Focheou has no eq^ual ; the fruit of the pine is 
 ** aromatic, it's odour is inviting. In gratifying at once 
 ** the smell, the sight, and the taste, nothing exceeds 
 ** these three things; and if at the same time you put upon 
 " a gentle fire an old pot with three legs, grown black and 
 " battered with length of service; and if, when the fire is 
 " heated to a degree that will boil a fish or redden a lobster ^ 
 *' you pour hot water directly into a cup made of the earth 
 ** Yue, upon the tender leaves of superfine tea; andifyoM 
 •* then gently sip this delicious beverage, it is labouring 
 " effectually to remove the five causes of discontent \which. 
 ** usually disturb our quiet." — I cannot help observing, 
 that all other Emperors and authors would be happy to have 
 all their causes of discontent limited to five^ and removed 
 effectually by a little tea. 
 
 The imperial poet proceeds, and cries out in rapture, 
 " Methinks I see the virtuous Linfou bending into 
 *' form with his own hands the branches of the Meihoa- 
 ** chou! It was thusy say I to myself, that he relieved his 
 •* mind after the fatigues of profound meditation on the 
 ** most interesting subjects,'' But the Emperor's rapture 
 is very short indeed, and he breaks forth, or rather 6ays, 
 ** I skip from Linfou to Tchao-cheou, or to Yu-chouan, 
 ** and see the first, (that is, Tchao-cheou}, in the 7niddU 
 E 2 *' of 
 
[ b^ ] 
 
 ** of a vast many tea-cups, of whieh he sometimes tastes one 
 ** and sometimes another: while the second, (that is,Yu-chou- 
 ** 2iT\,)drinks with the prof oiindest indifference the best tea^^ 
 ** and scarce distinguishes \ifrom the vilest stuff,' The Em- 
 peror then resumes his lyre, which it may be necessary to 
 observe, he never does but at night, and generally by moon 
 light. " Already, he cries, the rays oj the moon break 
 *' through the windows of my tent, and with their lustre 
 '* brighten the few moveables with which it is adorned." 
 The Emperor's modesty is conspicuous at the close of this 
 great ode, and like Pindar, he strikes us with what Lord 
 Bacon calls a virgula divina, I mean, an useful moral 
 sentence, very unexpectedly. ** I find myself (cries the 
 ** imperial bard) neither uneasy nor fatigued : my stomach 
 " is empty (the Emperor is poetical to the last) and I may 
 ** without fear go io rest. It is thus with my poor abilities, 
 *» I have made these verses in the little spring of the 
 " tenth moon in the year Ping-yu of my reign. 
 
 " KIEN LONG." 
 
 Prom these extracts the reader will form some conjecture 
 concerning the nature of my labour, and of the necessity of 
 this preface. 
 
 As my translation of the Imperial Epistle has been much 
 handed about in manuscript, I have been favoured with a 
 variety of notes by persons of eminence and distinction. I 
 
 value 
 
 * The East India Directors, with that great prudence which 
 distinguishes all their well-debated resolutions, have given posi- 
 tive orders to ail their Supercargoes, to have no dealings with 
 Yu-chouan (if alive) or any of his descendants. What would 
 become of the Commutation Act, (not forgetting the new Act 
 in 1795) ^ ^^^5 'M.zxidi2inTi's profiund indifference for the hat tea 
 5hovild gain ground in this country. 
 
C 53 3 
 
 value too much the honour of their communications, not to 
 gratify the public with a selection at least of their remarks 
 on the work of an Emperor, now in his eighty-fourth year, 
 and who is esteemed the most learned and accomplished man 
 in his dominions. I must add, that the following Epistle is 
 written in an happy assemblage of the Kou-ouen, or classical 
 language; oi the Ouen^ckangt or that which is used when a 
 noble or elevated style is required ; and of the Kou-enka*^ or 
 language of the court, the people in the office, and the literati ; 
 which consideration will easily account for every allusion, 
 metaphor, or style which the Emperor thought proper to 
 adopt. 
 
 This traJislatio7i of it is now presented to the public, 
 in the spirit of strong affection and loyalty to the person of 
 George the Third, and of reverence for the constitu- 
 tion and government of England. In the course of it will 
 be found the freedom of just and liberal animadversion on 
 public characters, and on statesmen in power and out of 
 power, neither suggested by envy, nor dictated by flattery. 
 The Translator of The Imperial Epistle is also of 
 opinion, that the whole of it is composed with that sim- 
 plicity and unity, both of meaning and of intention, which 
 only bold or bad men can misrepresent or misunderstand. 
 
 * Grosier's Account of China, v. a, p. 387. 
 
 E3 
 
THE 
 
 IMPERIAL EPISTLE 
 
 FROM 
 
 K I E N LONG, 
 
 EMPEROR OF CHINA, 
 TO 
 
 GEORGE THE THIRD, 
 
 KING OF GREAT BRITAIN, &C. &C. &C. 
 
 IN 1794. 
 
 Translated into English Verse from the Original Chinese Poetry, 
 
 r RiEND of the Muse, (a) by every muse rever*d. 
 In Europe honoured and by India fear'd. 
 
 Around 
 
 (a) The institution of the Royal Academy for painting and 
 sculpture, the patronage of poetical and learned merit in Covv- 
 per, Beattie, the late Dr. Johnson, and other writers of eminence 
 whom it is unnecessary to mention, and the restoration of na- 
 tional taste for the sublime of music, by his persevering and 
 undeviating regard for Handel, are fully sufficient to entitle 
 his present majesty George III. " The Friend of the Muse." 
 The Emppror notices this in a future part of his Epistle. 
 
 Ncfe h^ the Translator. 
 
 E4 
 
Around whose throne^ in freedom's chosen land, 
 
 In stern defence a guardian people stand, 
 
 Who feel for Britain, feel their sacred cause^ 5 
 
 Thy just prerogative and equal laws : 
 
 Hear, BiiunswJck, thy Imperial Brother's spAg, 
 
 Firm on the base of friendship deep and strong, 
 
 E'en in my eightieth winter fancy-free, 
 
 I build the rhyme to Royalty and Thee, jq 
 
 Here nightly by the moon, (i?) her quick'ning beam§ 
 
 I court reclin'd, and call Sidonian dreams. 
 
 While minstrels breathe around diviner airs, 
 
 A poet's rapture sooths a monarch's cares : 
 
 All pomp of words my sober years decline, 15 
 
 Simplicity and truth illume my line. 
 
 Soft 
 
 (i) It is to be remembered, that the Emperor always com- 
 poses at night, and generally by moon-light ; see his ode in praise 
 of drinking tea mentioned in the Translator's preface : this fre- 
 quently gives the happy effect of the chiar'-oscuro to the imperial 
 poetry, and particularly in his portrait-painting, but occasions 
 the necessity of notes, which never should be admitted without 
 such a necessity. The Emperor, who is always classical in his 
 allusions, speaks of his Sidonian dreams in the next verse, and 
 reminds me of Milton, P. L. b. i. 
 
 " Nightly by the moon 
 5* Sidonian virgins paid their vows and songs. 
 
 Note communicated by Benjamin Weft. Esq, Fresidenf 
 df the Royal Academy. 
 
C 57 ] 
 
 Soft as the tints Mcihoa's (r) foliage spreads. 
 And fragrant as the perfume Fo-sai sheds. 
 
 Thanks to thePower,whose well-fraught vessels bore 
 Thy lov'd Macartney to my friendly shore, 20 
 Whose various talents strength and grace impart 
 To blameless life and singleness of heart. 
 He came: but with no prodigies on high; 
 As once, beneath the frore Siberian sky. 
 When sent in Britain's happier hour to prove 25 
 Imperial Catherine's policy and love, 
 Coelestial Venus marked th' auspicious way 
 In dusky passage o'er the orb of day. (d) 
 
 When 
 
 {c) The Meihoa and the Fo-sai are the names of two beautifui 
 and aromatic plants in China. 
 
 {d) The Emperor's information is true. Lord Macartney, 
 before he was raised to the peerage of Ireland (and no man is 
 more deserving of that or of any other honour than himself) was 
 appointed ambassador to the court of Russia in 1767, at the 'very 
 time when the Empress was making great preparations to observe 
 the Transit of Venus over the Sun, from the frozen regions towards 
 the pole, and on the borders of the Caspian, within her own 
 vast empire, (see the Ann. Reg. for 1767, p. 9.) At present 
 this imperial votary of Mars and Fenus seems to be employing 
 her political astronomy in making transits rather more permanent 
 and more formidable. The Empress is supposed to have the 
 
 best 
 
C 58 3 
 
 When such thy ministers that round me tend, 
 A wilHng ear to Albion's wish I lend. 
 Long has her trident aw'd the subject main. 
 Nor e'er unfurl'd her swelling sails in vain; 
 Ne'er did her voice in idle thunder speak. 
 But crush'd the haughty, and upheld the weak. 
 By Thee inspir'd, her fame unspotted stood, 35 
 No taint of avarice, and no guilt of blood. 
 Beneficent and mild from pole to pole 
 Commerce was taught through mercies tides to roll» 
 To pour ea(;h cultivated blessing wide. 
 To give new motives to a nation's pride, 40 
 
 And blend with artful, but harmonious strife. 
 The law of int'rest with the light of life. 
 Such course thou bad'st th' immortal Sailor run, 
 Who made discovery where he saw no sun; 
 Contending nations own'd their common trust, 45 
 And France, (for then her Louis liv'd) was just. 
 
 Now 
 
 best and strongest sighted telescope of any potentate in Europe, 
 Her observatory is valuable on many accounts, but in my opinion 
 THE Busts of the great orators ancient and modem are its prin« 
 cipal ornament. 
 
 Note communicated ij the Rt. Hon* C. y. Fe.yt. 
 
C 59 ] 
 
 Now other dimes and others groves among 
 While loud lament is heard, or plaintive song. 
 To Him let China's monarch fondly turn, 
 And twine the wreath round Cook's barbaric urn. 50 
 
 While such thy views, while such thy righteous aim. 
 Her proud pre-eminence shall Albion claim. 
 And meaner jealousies and tricks of state 
 yield to whate'er is good, whatever is great. 
 
 But oh, what phrase of love may best befit, 55 
 How most may China^s sovereign grace thy Pitt? 
 Arch-chemic minister 1 his prime decree 
 Refreshed thy land with Commutation-Tea; [e) 
 Wholesome and pure the beverage chears the sight. 
 By strange filtration thro' earth, air, and light. (/) 60 
 
 Great 
 
 {e) They who are curious (as all people should be) about the 
 history of TVa, art referred to Kaempfer's Hist, of Japan, fol, 
 vol.2, append, p. i to p. 20. — to Osbeck's Voyage to China in 
 1751, vol. I. p 246 to 253 — Le Compters Journey to China 
 in 1685, P* ^^7 ^° ^3°* — ^" Halde Hist. vol. 4. p. 21 to 28. 
 ed. 8vo, Eng. — Dr. Lettsom*s Hist, of Tea, 410. in 1772.— and 
 Grosier's Account, vol. i. p. 463 to 484. 
 
 Note commmunicated by Mr. Twining and a Committee of 
 Teamen, highly Sou-chonged. 
 
 (/) We admire the Minister's system of promoting political 
 vegetation by natural analogy ; for as no vegetation whatsoever 
 
 can 
 
C 60 ] 
 
 Great Minister ! whose fame may well engage 
 
 The prose of Lauderdale and all his rage j 
 
 And yet untouched by Him, with Roman claim 
 
 Who left the shadow of a mighty name, {g) 
 
 See how tJic sickening stars, in Portland's train, 65 
 
 Fade one by one from Opposition's plain, 
 
 As forth his chosen charms the Enchanter flings. 
 
 Ribbands and vice-roys, earls, and garter'd strings. 
 
 Oh, that my longing eye Pitt's form might greet. 
 
 Triumphant borne through Pekin's crowded street, 70 
 
 In boots of silk {h) and sattin's trailing length, 
 
 CHOuLAHsupreme!(/)mykingdom'sgraceandstrength. 
 
 Around 
 
 can be carried on without ground, air, and the light of heaven, 
 he thought with the greatest sagacity that the circulation of this 
 fluid tax would be best kept up by making it pass through windows^ 
 %vhich are at once the conveyance of air and light. 
 
 Note communicated and produced by the joint labour 
 and thought of Sir John Sinclair^ president, and 
 of Arthur Youngs Esq, secretary to the neiv Board 
 of Agriculture, 
 
 (i) Junius.-^There is a person now living, emphatically 
 stiled on the highest authority, The Man with the Pen. 
 
 Note communicated by the Rt. Hon. If. G. Hamilton, M. P. 
 (/5) " People of condition never go abroad hut in hoots, which 
 are generally offattin or other silk,** Grosier, vol. 2. p. 296. 
 
 Note hy the Marquis of A^ercom, 
 (/) Choulah^ 15 the Chinese word for Prime Minister.'--^'' The 
 
 " whole 
 
C 6i 3 
 
 Around his waist I'd bind to solemn view 
 The scarf of yellow's proud imperial hue, (k) 
 Where, broider'd bold, thy Lion's golden might 75 
 With China's five-claw'd Dragon (/) should unite; 
 Rubies [m) should on his cap transparent glow. 
 And peacock's plumes adown his vesture flow: 
 
 Loungers 
 
 ** whole number of Mandarins appointed by the Emperor, for 
 " the administration of the affairs of ali the provinces, amounts 
 " to 8,965. Tiiese ate all Great Mandarins,^* Giosier, vol. I. 
 p.371. Mr. Pitt's ambition, as I think, will never rest inthe 
 Premier's office in such a little island as Great Britain, after an 
 offer from the Emperor of becoming, Chief of the Chief. 
 Note communicated hyh s Grace the Duke ofBedfard\ (en attendant.) 
 
 (i) The imperial family alone taear yellow ^ and such manda- 
 rins to whom the Emperor grants the honour of ^tyelUiv fcarf. 
 See Du Halde, Grosier, and Bell. 
 
 Note hj the Duke of Montrose ^ and the Lords Cardigan and Sidney* 
 
 (/) " The Emperor wore a long tunic of yellow silk, inter- 
 *• woven with figures of golden dragons with five claivs ; which 
 ** device no person is allowed to hear except the imperial family,'** 
 Bell's Travels, 8vo. vol. 2. p. 12. — We see the Emperor 
 considers Mr. Pitt as one of his family. 
 
 Note by the Rt. Hon, C. J. Fox, 
 
 {m) The distinction of mandarins of the highest order is a red 
 transparent jewel on the top of the cap, and peacocks feathers 
 trailing down behind it. Mr. Bell explains this: " Most of the 
 ** ministers of state (he says) were dressed lery plain^ having 
 ** nothing like ornaments about them \ a few only had large rubies, 
 ** sapphires and emeralds* Thete precious stones are cut into 
 
 " the 
 
[ 62 3 
 
 Loungers with lengthened nails (;/)should march before. 
 And to the nine add one black whisker more. 80 
 Then should the bust of virtuous Lin-fou (0) shine, 
 Lin-fou, who lives in my immortal line. 
 Next in high portraiture, or bold relief. 
 Should gleam the image of each British chief. 
 Of all who swell the sails, or guide the helm, 85 
 Hope of thy land, or glories of thy realm ; 
 
 While 
 
 *' the shape of pears, through which a hole is drilled, to fix them 
 ** on the top of their bonnets,'* Bell's Travels, vol. 2. p. 13, 
 Note communicated (with great feeling) by MrSfHaji» 
 tings and Mr* Jeffreys the jeweller » 
 
 («) All the men of fashion in China wear nine or more tvhis* 
 kersy and all the gentlemen have long nails, to shew that they are 
 idle. Perhaps Lord William Gordon and other Loungers and 
 Rangers may introduce this fashion in London, or when they 
 visit Mr. Pitt at his levees. 
 
 Note communicated by the Rev. Mr, Newman, Vicar of 
 Bond-street, assisted by some other learned and lab»» 
 rious Divines^ in the diocese of John StockdalCf po- 
 litical Bishop of Piccadilly, 
 
 (0) Lin-fou (see the Translator's Preface for the character of 
 that great man) is the virtuous tea-drinher^ mentioned by the Em- 
 peror in his ode in praise of drinking tea; and is introduced 
 here with great propriety in Mr. Pitt's Triumphal Entrv 
 INTO THE Court of Pekin. 
 
 Note by Sir Stephen Lushing ton and Mr, David Scott* 
 
t 63 3 
 
 While trophies of the wise, the just, the brave ,> 
 In orient hues and banner'd pomp should wave* 
 
 First o'er thy ocean with terrific frown. 
 Victorious grac'd with England's rostral crown, 90 
 The scourge of vaunting France, unshaken Howe^ 
 With Fabian firmness and unruffled brow. 
 Then be the form of great Cornwallis seen. 
 Sedate, experienced, valiant, and serene; 
 Depicted in the tablet stand below 9^ 
 
 The filial hostage and imperial foe: 
 Beyond Mysore he thunder'd : the dread sound 
 Appall'd, and circumscrib'd the tyrant's (//) bound* 
 Next, with sad registers of treasur'd lore, 
 Financial scrolls, and many an Indian crore, 100 
 Burnish'd in breathing bronze, behold him pass. 
 Fearless, who knows alone no change, Dundas. 
 
 He comes, the motley wonder of the time, 
 
 Moulded in nature's and in fancy's prime, 
 
 Form'd, like LucuUus, for the wordy war, 105 
 
 To shake the stage, the senate, or the bar; 
 
 Whose 
 {Jt) Tippoo Saib, whose two sons were sent as hostages to 
 iofd Cornwallis, 
 
[^4 3 
 Whose wit a people's plaudits could secure 
 For gamesters, rakes, and brothellers impure j 
 Could tear from youth the dread of public shame. 
 Drive from their lips e'en virtue's very name, no 
 And train an easy nation to allow 
 A public bankrupt with a graceful bow; {q) 
 
 A stage- 
 
 (q) The School for Scandal is the text, and every tutor and 
 every tradesman know where to look for the commentary. 
 
 "NoH CQ7nmunicated hy William Wilherforce^ Esg, M, P. 
 
 Additional note communicated in 1796. — MoNTANusin the 
 time of Juvenal, a witness to the unbounded luxury and extra* 
 vagance of Ncro« is thus described : 
 
 Noverat ille 
 Luxuriam imperii veterem, noctesque Neronis 
 yam 7nedias% 
 
 Sat. 4. 
 
 I do not remember that Tacitus or Suetonius mention th* 
 Specula cuhiciilaria et tabulata adapertilia in the chamber of 
 Britannicus, and indeed as I have not by me the Glossarium 
 media et infim^ Latinitatis^ I cannot render the terms. Per- 
 haps some architects might conjecture by the help of a marine 
 builder s dictionary, I may add, that in a secret history of the im- 
 perial court it is somewhere observed, that it was customary, 
 ah out the middle of Autumn^ for a chorus of Uarned Fishermen^ 
 while they were sfireadijig their nets on a greenish tvalk on the coast 
 of Campania, to sing the following words with much emphasis; 
 " NupTus delicias Vidu^e aspernatur Adulter 1'* But I never 
 could explain the reason of the custom. 
 
 "Note communicated hy the Rt\Ho?i» ff, G, Hamilton, ilf, P, 
 
C 65 ] 
 
 A stage-man Portland never would respect, 
 
 But with Athenian {q) dignity reject; 
 
 No r^^//7^/ for Sheridan, no trust, 115' 
 
 "^yhile England in her statesmen daires be just. , 
 
 He too, who kindled at a holier flame 
 His wit, his learning, and superior fame; 
 Onward with more than Tully's force he prest, 
 With more than all, but Tully's judgment, blest: 
 High truth in large discourse with wisdom fraught, 
 Not better heard in Tusculum, he taught; 
 In every realm of every science found. 
 Plain are his steps in all — but Grecian ground. 
 A temple (r) last he rear'd by art divine, 125 
 
 And plac'd his C^sar in the central shrine; 
 
 High 
 
 (^) The Athenians by an express law prohibited any member 
 of thegieat council of the Areopagus from having any concern 
 in a theatre, or from writing any play or comedy, upon pain of 
 expulsion. Plutarch informs us of this, in his treatife on the 
 Glory of the Athenians; Toov Yiu[x,oo^oTio'lixv hvrcos acTBfjLvov 
 rrySMTO xai (fopTix-ov, cjstc vo/xor riV /w,r;^sva TTOiSiv Kcoyt^oolioa; 
 A^sioTTocyirnv, Plutarch, vol. 2. p. 348. Ed. Xyland. 
 
 Note communicated by the Rev, Dr, Farr, and not 
 ivitJiQut much reluctance : but there was no resisting 
 the pleafure of 2i\\\.\\^ bit of Greek, 
 (r) Templum de marmore ponam ; 
 
 Jn medio mihi Csesar erit, templumque tenebit. 
 
 Virg. Georg. I. 3. 
 P The 
 
[ 66 ] 
 
 High priest himself, but not with olive crown'd. 
 His forehead was with martial fillets bound; 
 Within some feeble pillars here and there. 
 And idle ornaments for want of care, 130 
 
 But marble still the column and the dome. 
 Wrought from those quarries which he found at home ; 
 Immortal, though unfinished, is the work : 
 Why name the architect ? (s) who knows not Burke ? 
 
 Next 
 
 The Emperor considers Mr. Burke's three treatises on 
 
 French affairs, entitled, ** Reflections on the RevoJution in 
 
 ** France ; a Letter to a Member of the National Assembly, and 
 
 ** his Appeal from the New to the Old Whigs," under the 
 
 allegory of a Temple, 
 
 Kote hy the Translator* 
 
 {$) I feel myself obliged to the Emperor for his opinion of 
 my friend Mr. Burke's compositions on the French Revolution, 
 on which they are noio writing a dreadful commentary. As I am on 
 the subject I must observe, that I never remember to have seen 
 the French Convention described in the words of Milton. He 
 indeed knew what a Long Parliament was ; but his overbearing 
 genius seems to have pourtrayed a French Convention, when 
 
 he described 
 
 ^ shape^ 
 
 Jf shape it may be calVd, that shape has none: 
 Or substance may he calVd that shadow seems ^ 
 For both seems either : black it stands as nighty 
 Fierce as tenfuriesy terrible as hell^ 
 J.nd shakes a dreadful dart ; nxihat seems it's head^ 
 The likenefs of a kingly crown has on,- 
 Created thing nought values it^ nor shuns, P. L, b.*2» 
 
 For 
 
[ ^7 ] dr 
 
 Next Wyndham, fearless thundering from his car, 
 Pitt's new Tyrt^us, breathes the blast of war; 
 With parts a splendid station to adorn. 
 He braves the taunt of democratic scorn, 
 With eloquence and strength, his country's friend. 
 To think and act, and what he thinks, defend. 140 
 
 And veering Loughborough, whose unquiet mind 
 Found late that joy ambition scarce can find: 
 He came, though not in Latium to repose. 
 But burn in conflict with a nation's foes. 
 Yet still, though thron'd in Thurlow's rightful place. 
 His words want weight which never wanted grace. 
 
 Lo, the grave Grenville, with a patriot's end 
 
 Who dar'd to sink the rival in the friend ^ (/) 
 
 Content 
 
 For my own part, I distrust them all : I hate alike French 
 policy, French professions, French impiety, French vaunting, 
 French versatility, French falshood, and French cruelty. I am 
 equally disposed to guard against their Republican volcano, 
 whether belching forth the fiery lava of Terror^ or smouldering 
 with the more dangerous smoke of Moderation* 
 
 Note communicated hy the Rt. Hon. William Wyndham^ M,P. 
 
 Secretary at IVar^ ^c, ^c. ^c, in 1795. 
 
 (/) It should be mentioned to the honour of Lord Grenville, 
 
 hat he accepted a peerage at the very time when he was the 
 
 F 2 only 
 
%^^- [ 68 ] • 
 
 Content could leave the Commons, and the Chair, 
 To breathe with Lords a more convenient air. 150 
 
 There too, upon Hibernia's sainted green, 
 
 Sht)uld- Buckingham, without his boots, (v) be seen; 
 
 Mark how the citizens suspend in state 
 
 His leathern trophies on the Castle gate. 
 
 Then 
 
 only man on Mr. Pitt's side of the hon?e, who could have con- 
 tested the palm of eloquence with him, or indeed could have 
 succeeded him as Minister, in case of any of those little amautium 
 ira^ which will sometimes happen ^niong the best regulated 
 
 statesmen. 
 
 ]:^ote communicated (after profound meditation) hy George 
 
 Bose^ Esq Sec. to the Treasury, 
 {ni) The present Marquis of Buckingham, then Lord Tem- 
 ple, was f rmcrly Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Du Halde has 
 explained the Emperor's pleasant allusion in substance thus: 
 If a njiceroy \n Ctiipa has executed his office with equity and the 
 love of his subjects, (the word subjects is too strong) many par- 
 ticular honours are paid him. One of the most pleasant h this: 
 the citizens, some of whom weep or pretend to do 50, meet 
 him at a shr^rt distance from the city, and/a// off his old hots 
 and present him <with ne'vj ones: those first taken off are /tre serve d 
 in a cage over the gate of the City. Du Halde Hist. ed. 8vo. v. 2» 
 p. 178, 179. Now though the Emperor observes that the 
 loving citizens of Dublin met upon St. Stephen's, or in the 
 imperial words, on the sainted green^ and most cti'tzn\\y /lulled off 
 my Lord Marquises old hoots, it does not appear that they pre- 
 sented him ivith a new pair. Whether they never desired to fee 
 him accoutred among them again^ or whatever was the cause, 
 all that the loving citizens could be prevailed upon to say, 
 was, *' Off with his hoots, SO much for Buckingham." 
 
 l^ote communicat«d (con amore) hy the Rt. Hon, C J. Fox, 
 
C % ] 
 
 Then He, whom e'en fraternal worth could fail. 
 The plume-pluckt Chatham with a raven's tall; {x) 
 And garter'd Richmond, whose unblason'd shield [y) 
 Proves honour to ceconomy should yields 
 And Malagrida, (2) with his wily leer, 
 Sense that misleads, but words that eharm the ear. 
 
 Fresh from Hermippus and his doctrine brisk. 
 In saftron sock old Cardigan (a) should frisk. 
 
 With 
 
 (x) The Emperor is again local in his allusions. The 
 Chinese mode is this: when a Mandarin is removed from a very 
 im/iortant station to one of less consequence in the govern?nent^ the 
 peacock's feathers depending from his cap are taken our, and 
 crow's feathers are substituted. 
 
 Noie com?nunic sited (con arhore also) hy the Rt. Hon. the 
 Earl S/iencer First Lord of the Ad?nlralty. 
 {y) It is difficult to understand the whole of the Emperor's 
 meaning, but I think my office enables me at least to offer a 
 conjecture. When the late repairs were made in St. George's 
 Chapel at Windsor, with an exemplary liberality, every 
 Knight. of the Garter contributed a sum towards it, and his 
 arms were blasoned on the window over his banner. The D. 
 of Richmond alone thought his fame sufficient ivithout the ho^ 
 nour and ex/ience of the sacred glass, and declined them. The 
 glass remains unornamented to this hour^ 
 
 Note communicated by the Rt Rev. the Dean of Windsor. (1795.; 
 (z) Marquis of Lansdown. See the Lettres Provinciales, 
 («) Cardigan. — *' No; che Ma-no non e questo ; 
 
 Egli eun musico, per j^acco." 
 Qluotationfro?n thefa<vourlteoperaofthe Zingari in Fiera, 
 communicated singing (rather of the loudest^ as usuai^) 
 by the Earl of Gallo^ay^ assisted ky Mr. Francis^ jun^ 
 deir Aca<iemi3 de^Ji Arcadi e degli Buffi Caricati.» 
 ' F 3 
 
f 70 ] 
 
 With Ailesb'ry, graceful in his walking-dress. 
 And Dorset, prompt the lively dame to bless : 
 And there, insatiate yet with folly's sport, 165 
 That.polish'd sin- worn fragment of the court. 
 The shade of Queensb'ry should with Clermont meet. 
 Ogling and hobbling down St. James's street. 
 
 But mark the courteous philanthropic form 
 Of Leeds, sagacious of each brooding storm; 170 
 Of wit well manner'd, skill'd at once to please. 
 Resign with candour, and dissent with ease; 
 Though wary, bold and manly is his part. 
 And England's honour ever at his heart. 
 
 Then should thy sacred Orators appear; 175 
 Horsley in front, while Watson in the rear 
 The chemic dews of peace around him flings, 
 A pluvial prelate, from his lawny wings. 
 And hapless he, whose sad unworthy tale 
 Is heard in Winchester's opprobrious vale; {c) 180 
 
 Forc'd 
 
 (r) The translator has improperly rendered the Empei*or's 
 original Chinese word Too-paa-joih^ a vale, which my researches ■ 
 in that language enable me to interpret a sacred eminence^ or hill 
 
 or 
 
[ 7» 
 
 Forc*d by a fierce, luxurious, gambling wife. 
 From all the hallow'd dignities of life. 
 
 His 
 
 or temple. He is certainly wrong, and the Emperor was righf. 
 My duty in the long absence of my bishop on the Continent^ Avhich the 
 Emperor cannot mark in too strong terms at such a time and for 
 such a C^a/f, (though the bishop himself is a man of private worth 
 and amiable character; requires a few observations from me. 
 
 It is notorious to this whole kingdom that the ministry, from 
 the best motives of mercy, humanity and toleration, originally 
 fitted up the King's House at Winchester as an asylum for the 
 Emigrant Priests. It is as notorious, that it is noio something more 
 than an asylum. It is a sacred college; it is the head.quarters 
 OF THE CATHOLIC CAUSE in ihis country, a seminary where 
 NEAR ONE Thousand Romish Priests are publicly main- 
 tained ; where ordinations, conversions, instructions, and all 
 the business of their dark divan are held, and which water all 
 their schools old and new. I should think the following words 
 framed for the occasion, if Milton had not written them : 
 
 " Not content 
 With their audacious neighbourhood, they build 
 Their TEMPLE, right againft the temjile of God ^ 
 On the opprobrious Hill.'* P. L. b. i. 
 
 See Milton's Account of Mohch at large. 
 
 It is a public cause of consideration. We know what the Em- 
 peror did with the Jesuit Missionaries in China, when they 
 became troublesome. They should, if possible, be sent out of 
 our country ; if that cannot^// be, they should be instantly dis* 
 Jiersed, History informs us ivhat Ulysses was; it is the part of 
 government to guard against what he may again he\ and to see 
 that Troy may stand^ and that the citadel of Friam and of Protestantism 
 
 f 4 way 
 
[ 72 ] 
 
 Fiio high-paid duties, and his sacred home^, 
 Exii'd in lewd Italian climes to roam; 
 Now [d) while thy Si.on in desponding strain 185 
 Invokes the Fathers from her inmost fane; 
 
 Why 
 
 r 
 
 may reinain. I speak for the public; and I speak with thc\ 
 expectation of being publicly heard. 
 
 A'(?/<f co-in'/nun'icated [tyi officio) hy the Rev, Newton Ogle, D. D. 
 Dea?i of Winchester in 1795. 
 N. B. This note was written by the Dean of Winchester in 
 1 795, and there are now itronger and more powerful reasons for 
 attending to his public remonstrance. It is well known that the 
 •whole collection of these priests ftoio consists of not above one third (if 
 SO much) of the original emigrants ; the remainder being no%j 
 supplied with boy-priests, (little superior to <2(r(?/y///^^r) who are not 
 emigrantSjb.ut pert and insolent to the members of our established 
 church, and without the least gratitude for the unequalled and 
 inconsiderate protection which they receive from the state. Be- 
 bides this, nunneries and monasteries are openly and avowedly 
 rising in different parts of the kingdom, and these Romiih coniesy 
 burrowing into the heart of it, will shortly be found to be no 
 feehlefolk. We discover in these members o^ iht Romish church 
 the$ame principles with their ancestors, the same spirit, thesame 
 dark intrigues, the same intolerance, the same immortal and un- 
 quenchable hatred of Protestant heresy, the same insinuating oc 
 domineering manner (as the occasion may require) in the priests 
 and spiritujfl guides, the same love of the sacred sid/thur at their 
 hearts, the same assertions of their original rights and inheritance in 
 this land — in short, Vifcera magnarum domuum, dojnivique futuri^ 
 if Mr. Pitt and the ministry will not attend to the Dean's 
 words, which, beyond all controversy, ARE TRUE. 
 
 Note added by the Tyamlator in June 1796* 
 [d] In 1794. 
 
[ 73 ] 
 
 Why slumbers thy Arch-PontifF? on that shore 
 Who from embodied dulness rouses Moore? 
 And, while the pillars of thy temples bow. 
 Why circles not the mitre Paley*s brow? 19O 
 
 Next see the learned Parr, in judgment weak. 
 Who first lampooned a minister in Greek j 
 By merit rais'd above his buff compeers 
 In shag and title, " Master of the Bears;" [e) 
 
 He 
 
 (<f) It was some time before w^ could decypher the latter part 
 of this passage about Dr. Parr. The first part evidently relates 
 to the Bellendenian Greek and Latin preface, the translation of 
 which into Chinese cost the Duke of Portland above five hun- 
 dred pounds. But ive nowjind the latter part also to be truly 
 imperial. In the Greek Anecdota of Procopius, b. 9. {lue read 
 it in English) or the Secret History of the Court of Constanti- 
 nople in the reign of Justinian, we find that there were two 
 factions in the state, the Greefi and the Blue, The dissolute youth 
 of Constantinople adopted the blue li'very of disorder^ and the 
 bonds of society were frequently relaxed -and sometimes broken. 
 At that time ivlld beasts of different s/iecies 'were maintained by the 
 blue (some MSS. have it, and buff) faction in the cknter of 
 THE Metropolis, and one of the most honourable appoint- 
 ments was that of »' ^he Malter of the Beany — How learned is 
 the Emperor in his allusions! with what propriety does he con- 
 duct his applications! 
 
 "Note by the joint labour and ability of Dr, Coombe^ Editor of 
 a splendid^ and father silly^ edition of Horace^ and of 
 Mr, Alderman Curtis^ Brcther to the Re-v. Mr, Curtis: 
 Arcades Ambo. 
 
 N. B. The 
 
[ 74 ] 
 
 He marks the den, whence 'mid the bestial herds 195 
 The uNFRoeK'd Grammarian (/) hurls his red- 
 
 wing'd words ; 
 And mourns, transfix'd by the prelatic spear. 
 Expiring Priestley on his western bier. 
 
 Then Bedford, late by public views inspir'd. 
 Cool at Newmarket, nor at hazard fir'd j 200 
 
 Oeconomy the order of his day. 
 In lease, in love, in building, or in play : 
 Reversed see now the youthful statesman start. 
 Splendor and greatness beating at his heart. 
 Full to the goal he pants for dubious fame, 205 
 And slights the virtuous honours of his name. 
 
 Next 
 
 N. B. The Chinese Translation of Dr, Parr's Bellendenian Pre^ 
 face had nearly produced a revolution in Pekin, which the 
 Duke of Portland never intended ; till it was confuted in Chinese 
 by the Mandarin Chum-Hoar-Ti-Fu. — Some copies of the Chi- 
 nese Confutation are expected in England. 
 
 (/) Home Tooke. — In August 1771, The Divine wrote thus 
 of himself : " Monument I shall have none; but over my grave 
 ** it will be said, in Junius's own words, Horne's situation 
 ** DID not correspond with his intentions." Junius's 
 Letters. After his acquittal from the charge of high treason in 
 1794, Mr. Home Tooke/<?/r that he had lived to be his own 
 Commentator, J^ete bj the Translator* 
 
C 75 ] 
 
 Next feeble Portland, whom Pitt call'd to share 
 A forc'd alliance, and distracted care : 
 Fitzwilliam too ! — but fate conceals the page : 
 Hibernian policy and Romish rage, 210 
 
 Hot from the hell of Loyola, may rise 
 With discord starting to unmeasur'd size. 
 Struck with unhallow'd phrenzy to divide 
 A sister land from Britain's guardian side : 
 Pause, while ye may, yet friendly chiefs ! thecare, 215 
 The cause, the blood, are one : forbear, forbear. {£) 
 
 In 
 
 {£) The Emperor in these lines seems to make a delicate al- 
 lusion to one of the most finished passages of consummate art 
 in the ^neid ; 
 
 Illae autenj, paribus quas fulgere cernis in armi^ 
 Concordes animae, dum nunc et nocte premuntur^ 
 Heu quantum inter se bellum, si lumina vita 
 Attigerint^ quantas acies stragemque movebunt! 
 Ne, P«m, ne tanta animis assuescite bella, 
 Neu patriae validas in viscera vertite vires: 
 Tuque prior, tu parce, genus qui ducis Olympo : 
 Projice tela manu, sanguis meus. 
 
 iEN. 6. 
 The words are figurative : the dum nunc et mete Jiremuntur are 
 evidently expressions which denote the D. of P. and Earl Fitz- 
 william, or any other Dukes or Earls, when in o/ipositiony which 
 generally has a tendency to create the comordes animce paribus in 
 
 r armis„ 
 
[ 76 J 
 
 In Anglo-Russic JDronze should Fox come {ovih; 
 I'd spare the blushes of degraded worth: (//) 
 Oh had he ever to himself been truej 
 Kor chang'd the pristine patriot for the new, 226 
 
 Discretion 
 
 armis. This is confirmee! by what follows ; si lumna vit^ atti' 
 gerint^ which can have no other meaning than this ; i. e. if ever 
 they should make part of the ministry : the lumina vitae, the aural 
 simplicis ignis, the pabulum or nutriment of life can be found 
 in no other region. Pueri is a term peculiarly adapted to all Mi- 
 nisters. The tu /trior, tu /larce, is not so clear, but I should not 
 refer it to Earl Fitz^Ailliam : weapons may however be forced 
 firom hands which use them inconsiderately. Tht helium, acies 
 aad stragem are a little prophetic of Ireland ; but I trutt 
 England will avert it, by that tender address — Projice tela manu. 
 Sanguis meus I 
 
 Note communicated (in 1795 during the short and im/irtt*<^ 
 dent administration of Lord Fitzwilliam in Ireland) 
 hy Earl Mansfield ci-devant Lord Stormont^ one of 
 the beit informed and best- read scholars in Europe, in 
 the Translator'' s opinion. — This note is preserved to 
 explain the Emperor's meaning to pofterity, 
 (1796.) 
 {Ji) It is impossible to ascertain the peculiar degradation of 
 this great prator and statesman (for such he is and ever will be 
 esteemed) to which the Emperor aliudes : whether to that de- 
 gradation arising from the honour which the Empress of Russia 
 conferred on him^ or fipm the pension v;hich he enjoys from 
 private benevolence, equally disgraceful to the subscribeis and 
 to himself. 
 
 Note communicated hy George Rose, Esq. M. P. Secretary 
 of the Treasury, from a MS, ty the Rt. Hon. tj^illiam 
 Pitt^ &c. &-C* &C. &C. 
 
[ 77 ] 
 Discretion had repress'd Burke's headlong (/) rage. 
 And England wanted one immortal page. 
 
 Mark disappointed Thurlow's scowling mienj 
 J^appy (//) — had Pepper Arden [k) never been ; 
 Him shall the wool-sack, him the Chancery mourn. 
 And Thprlo\v, Thurlow, every bench return. 
 
 With 
 
 (/) TheEmperor, always just, admires Mr. B. yet can see and 
 censure his defects. But as to his eloquence taken u/ion the nvJioIe^ 
 to him alone of all our English Orators can the following words 
 belong. *' En Ille, qui saxa devolvit et pontem indtgnatur^ €t 
 ^' ripai sihi facit ; multus et torrens judicem vel nitentem contrafert^ 
 ** cogitque ire qua rapit ; hie irarh^ hie mi i eric or di am inspirat ; hie 
 ** defunctos excitat ; ajiud hunc et P atria ipsa exclamat ; hie deos 
 ** ipsos in congressum prope suum sermojiemque deducit,^"* 
 
 Quintil. L. 12. c. 10. 
 Hote communieatcd by the Rt. Hon, IFilliam Wyndhafn, M,P, &c,&c. 
 
 (/V) Et Fortunatum, si nunquam &c. &c. 
 
 Virgil. Eel. 6. 
 
 {h) The famous contest between Mr. Pitt and the ci-devant 
 Chancellor Thurlow for Pepper Arden, always reminded me of 
 the dispute between Agamemnon and Achillesyi?r the beautiful 
 Briseis. 
 
 Note communicated by Joseph Jekyll^ Esq. M. P, and author 
 of many pretty little Jokes — princi/ially on Mr. Pttti 
 but Nunquam aniraam talem dextra hac &:c. 
 
[ 78 ] 
 
 With candid Scott, (/) impassion'd, but serene, 
 Lo, where appears Macdonald's {m) poHsh'd mien; 
 And angry Kenyon, from state- troubles turn'd, («) 
 Just, and in all, but graceful learning, learn'd; 230 
 
 And 
 
 (/) Sir John Scott, Attorney General; from whom pro- 
 ceeded whatever is honourable and of good report in principle 
 snd practice, and with great ability, at the late State-trials in 
 1794 (particularly in Mr. Home Tooke's) which trial, from the 
 conduct of it, I should rather call a legal, judicial, and criminal 
 conversazione round the table at the Old Bailey. When Sir John 
 Scott made his reply to Mr. Tooke's Advocate Mr. Erskine, I 
 could not help observing to my friend who sate next to me; 
 •' Cum ilia dicendi viiiosa jactatio inter plausores suos detonuit, 
 
 *' reSUrgit VERiE VIRTUTIS FORTIOR FAMA." Quiut. 1. 12. C. 9. 
 
 Note hy the Hon. Mr. Perceval^ junior counsel for the prosecution* 
 
 (ot) Sir A. Macdonald, Chief Baron of the Exchequer, late 
 Attorney General, 
 
 («) A Lord Chief Justice of the King's Bench, who gives 
 
 himself up to his legal profession and turns from politics, must 
 
 at all times be a valuable man, but particularly so at present. 
 
 There are persons who entertain some doubt of the propriety of 
 
 the opinion anciently delivered of the Orator or, as ive construe 
 
 the word, the Barrister or Pleader by profession, yet we believe 
 
 it strictly true with a few rare exceptions, ** Multi erant prae- 
 
 ** terea praechri in philosophia et nobiles, a quibus omnibus 
 
 ** una pene re^elli voce Oratorem a gueernaculis civitatum, 
 
 " ac tantii« in judicia et conciunculas, tanquam in aliquod 
 
 " pistrinum, detrudi et compingi videbam." De Oratore L. i. 
 
 Note communicaied hy the Rt, Hon. Edmund Burke and the 
 
 Rt. Hon. C, y. Fox. — Lords Thurkw and Loughbo* 
 
 rough dissent. 
 
t 79 ] ' 
 
 And the Bar-pleader, whom mobs call divine. 
 Known by the symbols of I, me, and mine: (o) 
 With the boy- candidates for public praise. 
 The Whitbreads, Cannings, Lambtons, Jenkys, Greys, 
 All, from the promise of whose rising ray 23 j 
 
 England expects a brighter, steadier day. 
 
 But last, in regal grandeur once erect. 
 Now in wan splendor and with eyes deject, 
 Hastings, thsit great ^ that injured, dubious name. 
 The glory of thy India, or the shame-, 240 
 
 Thro' truth, thro' lies, thro' eloquence, thro'.'pride. 
 Borne down in Burke's unnavigable tide. 
 
 How 
 
 (0) The Emperor means me, by G — : he affects to insinuate 
 that my eloquence is confined to the bar; and never can have 
 the least effect in the senate. Next to myself however, I think 
 Cicero the best Orator: no man ever spoke so ivell of himself, \ 
 admire that perpetual ornament of his unblushing phraseology, 
 the Ut ad me revertar : though his discovery of Catiline^s plot and 
 his PLEADING AGAINST THAT CONSPIRACY are not much to 
 
 his honour. 
 
 "Note communicated hy the Hon, T, Erskine* 
 N. B. Qui AC TOR IS c a jit at elegantiam^/ierdit viri honi et gravis 
 ^uctoritatem, Quintil. L. 11. c.3. 
 
 Additional note communicated by the sober and steady 
 Counsellors Mansfield and Plumer» 
 
C 8p 3 
 
 How fades the laurel on that haughty brow 
 Jove's thunder spared I who made the nations bovv. 
 While in his grasp, by fanie and honpur gr^c'd, 245 
 Britain thy delegated sceptre plac'd. 
 5tate-victim now, deluded while secure, 
 Flesh'd for the altar^ and fpr Pitt mature^ 
 Though vers'd in every wile, he learn'd too late 
 That love in ministers is secret hate : " 230 
 
 For HIM, thus bumbled in Impeachment'? weeds. 
 To tardy justice England bends and pleads. (/) 
 
 While thus they pass, my Mandarins should bend. 
 And to my throne Pitt's palanquin attend; 
 Trumpets of Outong-chu (q) his praise unfold, 255 
 And steely crescents (r) gleam in semblance bold ^ 
 
 With 
 
 (/) While these lines were printing (as I should believe) the 
 Lords publicly pronounced the Acquittal of Mr. Has- 
 tings in the chamber of Parliament, after a trial of senjenyears 
 and three months^ on St. George's day, the i^A of April 1795. I 
 shall make no remarks but in the words of Shakespeare; 
 
 " On these charges 
 ** Cry, God for (Hastings) England and St. George!** 
 "Note communicated (maestoso con brio) hy Lord ThurloiJ, 
 
 (g) *' Drummers and Trumpeters march before the Empe? 
 ** rof) (blowing) with their trumpets, which are three feet long, 
 
 « and 
 
C 8i ] 
 With repercussive notes from impulse strong 
 Air thunders, rolls the drum, and groans the (j) Gong^, 
 Flambeaux of odorous wood, and lanterns (/) bright 
 In eastern prodigality of light j 260 
 
 The clustered radiance of the fields above. 
 And picturM planets (1;) in their orders move, 
 Seraphic emblems ! and in azure car 
 Thy Herschel pointing to his Georgian Star. 
 
 For 
 
 ^nd made of a wopd called Outong-chu, and ornamented with 
 rings of gold." Grosier, v. 2. p. 330. 
 
 {t) " Behind these march a hundred soldiers armed with 
 halberts, the points of which terminate in a crescent', with 
 macebearer^, &c." Gros. v. 2. p. 33i» 
 
 (/) The Gong is an instrument of a circular form made of 
 brass, which the Chinese strike with a large wooden mallet co- 
 vered with leather; the sound is heard to a great distance. 
 
 (/) " Four hundred large lanterns of elegant workmanship 
 next make their appearance, borne by the same number of 
 men ; and four hundred flambeaux, niade of a kind of wood 
 which burns long, and diffuses a great light." Grosier as above. 
 — N.B. For the account of the famous Feast of Lanterns through- 
 out the empire of China, see Grosier v. 2. p. 323. 
 
 («v) ** After these twenty-four banners upon which are 
 painted the signs of the Zodiac, and fifty six other banners, on 
 which are represented different clusters of stars, according to 
 their arrangement in the heavens." Gros. v. 2. p. 331. 
 
 Note by the Duke of Marlborough, 
 
 G 
 
For Pitt the portals of the south (x) expand, 265 
 And on my marble (y) hs alone should stand ; 
 While, from the mountain of the agate seal, (z) 
 His titled worth my Jasper should reveal; 
 Then, as in natal splendor, should be brought 
 The chequgr'd ve§t (<?) by learned fingers wrought; 
 
 While 
 
 (x) " The southern gate of the palace is never opened ht 
 for the Emperor himielf'^ Du Halide Hist. v. a. p. 24, English 
 Ed. 8vo. 
 
 ^ote by Lord Hawhiury, 
 
 {y) " There is a causeway paved nvitk'wkite markka and none 
 hui the Emperor may walk in this fiath,^* Du Halde v. 2. p. 26, 
 
 (s) " The patents and imperial acts are all sealed with the 
 Emperor's own seal, which is a fine Jasper^ near eight inches 
 square, and is taken from the mountain Y^ y^ Chatf^ t^at is, 
 the mountain of the agate seatJ** Du Halde v. 2. p. ig, 
 
 {a) '* The Literati among the Mandarins pay a peculiar 
 honour to a good Governor of a province. They cause a dress 
 to be made for him of small pieces of sattin, red, t>lue, green, 
 yellow, &c. His birth day is chosen as the proper time for 
 presenting him with it. He at first refuses it; buf at last 
 yields Jo the intreaties of the literati. They then make him put 
 on this chequered garment, the different colours of which are 
 supposed to represent all the nations that wear different 
 dresses, and to inform the Mandarin that he is toorthy of ruling 
 them all " Grosier v. 2. p. 340. — N. B, This is a kind of 
 imperial anticipation of that chequered Chancellor's obewith 
 which ihe Literati of Cambridge will one day invest Mr. Pitt, 
 \f he should continue to be the Minister j ip not, those good 
 
 men 
 
[ 83 3 
 
 While with slow-placing steps in gorgeous rows 
 The solemn pomp my sons of science {i?) close. 
 Their heads aloft my elephants should toss, 
 Morton cry, Mbrgu, and Sir Clement, Boss; (r) 
 The full Tartarian chorus sounding far, 275 
 
 Hail, MINISTER OF PEACE — BUT NOT OF WAR ! 
 
 Ah 
 
 men wWi not be at a loss whereto discover transcendent 
 
 MERIT. 
 
 Note communicated (con furia) hy Lord Thurloiv* 
 
 {h) ** The grand cavalcade is closed by two thousand Man- 
 darins of Letters." Gros, v. s. p. 332. 
 
 (r) Motion and Sir Clement, — I suppose the Emperor means 
 two officers of high ceremony in his palace, whom out of com- 
 pliment he names after the Earl of Morton, Chamberlain to 
 the Queen, and Sir Clement Cottrell^ Master of the Ceremonies, 
 of whom he cannot but have heard. As to the words they are 
 to pronounce before Mr. Pitt, Mr. Bell informs us of their 
 meaning ; " The Master of the Ceremonies (he says) stood by, 
 ** and delivered his orders in the Tartar language by pronounc- 
 '* ing the words Morgu and Boss^ the first meaning to bow^ and 
 " the second to stand \ two words which I shall not easily for- 
 '* get." Bell's Travels 8vo. v. 2. p. 9. — These emphatic words 
 Morgu and Boss should be pronounced by the Speaker and Mr. 
 Dundas whenever Mr, Pitt makes his triumphal (I mean his 
 daily) entry into the House of Commons, and at all his levees. 
 
 Note comjunnicattdhy George Rose^ Esq. M,P, Secrttarj 
 tc the Treaiury. (1794.) 
 
 G 2 
 
t 84 ] 
 
 Ah me ! too fondly does my fancy dream i 
 Pitt hears not : and would slight the imperial theme. 
 Though all my wealth Macartney ^s voice should speak, 
 Or learned Sir George in Chinese or in greek, 280 
 Or Cuet-QXJa's self, admir'd by beau and belle, 
 Chet-qu A, (d) whom all the world knew passing well ; 
 Ne'er shall my eyes behold in Tai tar gown 
 The chosen Minister of England's crown. 
 
 I hail thy favoured Island, that can boast, 285 
 Foster'd by Thee, those arts which Athens lost: 
 
 Apelles 
 
 (^) Chii'-qua'W2iS a Chinese who visited England many years 
 ago, and was an intimate friend of Sir William Chambers. He 
 afterwards returiied to China. As Sir William's friend seems to 
 have been a pleasant fellow, and as the Knight's account of h'lrc). 
 is very pleasant too, I shall transcribe a part of it. *' All thf: 
 •world (says Sir William) i«^w Chet-qjua ; and hpw he wag 
 born at Q.nang-Chew-Fu ; also how he was bred a face- 
 maker, and had three wives, iwo pf %vhom he caressed very much 
 and the third but seldom-, for she was a virago and had large 
 feet. He dressed well ; ivore nine whiskers and four kvg na'ih^ 
 with silk boots and callico breeches ; equalling therein the 
 prime Macaroqis and s^avoir vivres not only of Quang-chew, 
 but also of Shum tien-fu. Replayed di'vinely on the bagpipe 
 and made excdlent remarks / was fond of smoking, and was then 
 always vastly plea^^mt and very comtnunicati'veJ** See Sir Wil- 
 liam Chambers's Discourse annexed to his Dissertation on 
 Oriental Gardening. 2d. edit. 1772, page 115. 
 
 Note by the Re*v. W, Mason, 
 
Apelles in thy Reynolds shall revive^ 
 And in a Bacon great Lysippus live. 
 Thine too the poet*s care; nor Gowper*s strain, (e) 
 Nor Scotland's Doric Minstrel sounds in vain: 290 
 But chief that care shall Johnson's virtue prove. 
 Led by the day-star beaming from above, 
 A nation*s taste to rouse and to refine, 
 Handel by Thee was rais'd to strength divine; (/) 
 The monumental marble breath'd : from high 295 
 Hiswond'ring spirit stoop'd,andown'd the harmony* 
 Such the instruction^ such the gracej secured 
 By balanced rights, and policy matured* 
 
 While i, reclined on Camusathkin down^ 
 Careless forget the labours of my crown ; 300 
 
 Or chance some playful Vice-roy's doom deplore> 
 HurFd by dread Venus (g) to the fated shore. 
 
 For 
 
 (e) See the note on the first line of the Imperial Epistle, 
 (/) The Emperor alludes to the grand musical performances 
 in Westminster Abbey in commemoration of fiandel, in 1784, 
 &c. They are recorded very properly on a tablet on the mo- 
 nument of Handel. Ne^e by Jcah Bates^ Esq. 
 {g) The Syphilis rages in China among persons of the highest 
 iJistincticn, as it does in Europe. The physician and surgeon to 
 
 G 3 ' X,ori 
 
[ 86 ] 
 
 For gravest Mandarins, in hours of joy, 
 Here oft with tittering pleasure-misses toy, 
 Charter'd unquestioned libertines of love, 305 
 
 Heirs in expectance of the myrtle grove; 
 With them in lunar halls [h) and odorous bow'rs. 
 Voluptuous, shun the blaze of sultry hours, 
 Skiird with light spells of wantonness to chase 
 The murky Mmi-chew {/) from the enchanted space. 
 For them I frame, whom trifles best may please, 
 A smile of softness or a sonnet's ease; 
 Not as for Thee, with more than Theban fire. 
 Sustain the weight of my imperial lyre. 
 
 Thee 
 
 Lord Macartney's Embassy relieved many of the Viceroys am! 
 Mandarins/ro;« their embarrassments at Pekin, Canton, and other 
 places. 
 
 JsJote communicated hy Sir George Baker, Bart. Physician to the King, 
 {h) MjaU'titig, X.\it Halls of the Moon, or beautiful vaulted 
 saloons, the concave of which is ornamented with stars and^ 
 painted to represent a nocturnal sky, where the Chinese Princes 
 retire wich their favourite ladies in the heat of the summer 
 days, ** as often as they are disposed to see ^nm and he particular^* as 
 Sir Wiiliam Chambers happily expres es it. Dissertat, as 
 above p. 32, 
 
 Note communicated (affettnoso con brio) by Lord IVilliam Gordon* 
 (7) Man-chew is the name of the genius of sorrow, among, 
 the Chinese. 
 
t 8:? ] 
 
 Thee last I trace with reverence^ and survey 315 
 The awful wonders of thy various day 5 
 Thy nation's darling still j though Scotland's star 
 Shed brief malignant heat, and scorch'd afar^ 
 Till proudly rising on the vantage ground 
 Great Chatham stoodiandshooktherealms around: 
 Prophet of future fate ! his potent word 
 Thy people o*er the vast Atlantic heard 1 
 And as the winds his voice ill-omen'd, bore, 
 Methought the sceptre sunk^---to rise no more. 
 
 Close we that scene t for other scenes are near 3321; 
 Darkness, and discontent^ distrust, and fear. 
 And brooding policy in novel forms 
 Call o'er the deep of empire clouds and storms. 
 And wild those storms will rend Britannia's field. 
 Should patriot bands the rod of faction wield, 330 
 While law, religion, property they seize. 
 And senates tremble at their own decrees. 
 Sweeping with Reformation's iron sway. 
 They crush each hand that scruples to obey, 
 
 ^ 4 . From 
 
[ 88 ] 
 
 From splendor's robe each proud distinction wipe, 335 
 And place a barren bauble in thy gripe. 
 Then mitred fathers, and the ermin'd peer, 
 And ancestry, and all to honour dear. 
 The fond well-earn*d rewards of ancient worth, 
 All, spirits disembodied, leave the earth : 34a 
 
 These are state-blots which, in their dread intent, 
 Will be ras'd out in their first parliament I 
 For each empiric, quacks of state or church. 
 Now bate all truth, but truths of grand research; 
 They round their phrase with studied nothings, call 
 Sophistic pomp, and meaner minds appall. 
 Then unawares the strong conclusion draw. 
 The master of the Prince is master of the Law. 
 
 Nor Thou, In fancied strength too safely wise, 
 Their base-born dark original despise. ^^^ 
 
 Whence draws the Sun dire vapour? whence conspire 
 The thundrous tempest, and the lightning's fire? 
 From lake, and lazy pool, and weeds obscene, 
 (The abode of putrid pestilence uncleanj 
 
 The 
 
C 89 ] 
 
 The Elemental Fury from afar 355 
 
 Collects and scatters wide ethereal war, 
 
 Ranging without confine, without controil^ 
 
 E'en heav'n's own firmament oft seems to roll. 
 
 And from the fated momentaneous shock 
 
 Eternal impress marks the riven rock : 360 
 
 The arch of majesty, the temple's dome. 
 
 The pillared hall, the peasant's low-rooft home, 
 
 Alike in undistinguished ruin fall. 
 
 And shapeless desolation equals all. 
 
 . Through (/^) Europe's bounds, 'tis her devoted ag% 
 Fires from within and central thunders rage. 
 On Gallia's shores I mark the unhallow'd pow'r. 
 Her godless regents feel the madd'ning hour. 
 Dread architects of ruin and of crime, 
 In revolution's permanence sublime, 3^0 
 
 And cruel nonsense ! o'er the astonish'd World 
 The flag of dire equality unfurl'd. 
 
 Drizzling 
 
 (k) This picture of the state of Europe was drawn by 
 the Emperor tn the year 1794, true and just at that period, and is 
 tiQ'w finally consigned by His Majesty to posterity. 
 
 "Note by the Trans later \n 1 796, 
 
[ 9« I 
 
 Drizzling with blood of millions streams in air. 
 The scroll, fraternal freedom, death, de* 
 
 SPAIR. 
 
 They pass : nor Rhine nor Rubicon they kno^; 37^ 
 Torrents may roar, or tranquil streams may flow. 
 In unappaird protrusion on they burst. 
 All nations cursings by all nations curst* 
 
 Lo, Belgium yields to unresisted fate 5 
 Within her ministers of terror wait : 380 
 
 Nature with rod petrific smites the land, 
 And binds the floods in adamantine band, 
 Till Gallia's Chief in right of William sways^ 
 And Freedom, once with life-^drops bought, obeys* 
 See, where dismember'd trembling Spain resigns 385 
 Peruvians radiance, and Potosi's mines. 
 The pillars of The Eternal City bow. 
 And the tiara from the Pontiff*s brow 
 Drops to the dust 1 no more in Peter's fane 
 The Consistorial Brotherhood shall reign. 390 
 
 Yet see j the turban nods by factions torn $ 
 A lengthening, sad, and sullen sound is borne 
 
 Around 
 
[ 91 ] 
 
 Around Sophia's hallow'd conscious walls, 
 Mutt'ring the doom denounc'd : her crescent falls. 
 
 Still view, in western (/) climes Death's palest hoi^c 
 With pestilence and slaughter marks his course. 
 While dusky tribes, with more than maniac rage 
 Rending their brazen bonds, in war engage : 
 For France still burns to make, with dire intent. 
 Hell and this world one realm, one 
 continent! ^oo 
 
 Yet once attend, great Brunswick; nor in vain 
 Hear thy Imperial Brother's closing strain. 
 Thee from thy people may no thought divide. 
 The statesman's rashness, or Reformer's pride; 
 Reason and her fond visions still distrust; 40^ 
 
 What, but experience, makes a kingdom just ? 
 Fix'd on her ancient base let England rest ; 
 And pubhc danger arm the public breast; 
 On British sense depend. On foreign fame* 
 To proud Versailles THE fatal stranger (w) came. 
 
 New 
 {/) The West Indies. («) Neckar. 
 
C 9^ ] 
 
 New laws, new policy, new truth to tell,- 
 And by new maxims the vast fabric fell. 
 
 Oh, should thy nation slight her just alarms, 
 fsfor Gallic truths dread more than Gallic arms. 
 Thy diadem must fade 5 the Tyrian die 41^ 
 
 Sink in the scarlet of democracy; 
 AH dignities of brighter times will fail^ 
 No wisdom o'er the rhidnight lamp grow palc^ 
 But knowledge, fancy, genius, all retire. 
 And faint and death-struck learning will expire : 
 Look round the land, there nothing shall be found 
 But swords to guard, Jind ploughs to till the ground. 
 
 Though now awhile beneath the afflictive rod 
 Supernal Power may bid thy Albion nod. 
 Humbled in due prostration may she bend, 42I 
 
 And her far-fam'd beneficence extend 5 
 Then, all her ancient energies erect. 
 Strength from herself and from her God expect. 
 And on her rocky rampaf ts bold, alone 
 Maintain her laws, and vindicate thy throne. 45a 
 
 The En d^ 
 
- .. 
 
 [ 93 ] 
 
 AN 
 
 HEROIC EPISTLE 
 
 FROM 
 
 PONNA TERESA PINNA Y RUIZ, 
 
 OF 
 
 MURCIA, 
 
 TO 
 
 m CHARD TWISS, Esq. F.R.S. 
 
 WITH SEVERAL EXPLANATORY NOTES, 
 WRITTEN BY HIMSELF, 
 
 Young Adam Cupid — he who shot so trim, 
 When king Cophetua lov'd the beggar maid. — 
 
 SHAKESPEARE. 
 
 Printed origirjally in the year 1777. 
 
C 95 1 
 
 AN 
 
 HEROIC EPISTLE 
 
 TROM 
 
 DONNA TERESA PINNA Y RUIZ, 
 
 jL E western winds, from ocean's bosom rise. 
 And bear to perjur'd Twiss his Pinna*s sighs! 
 Ye newborn gales, that fan the lemon grove. 
 In clouds of essence waft the voice of love 1 
 
 Yes 
 
 L.2. Pinna.] ** Durfng my short stay in Murcia, I spent 
 every evening at the house of Donna Tercba Pinna y Ruiz. That 
 lady and her daughter were so obliging as to assemble all their 
 musical acquaintance, themselves singing Tonadillas and Segue* 
 ^illaSf in a far svperior manner than 1 bad enjer heard them sung 
 hefore\ the young lady had made a great proficiency in musick, 
 and accompanies herself with the harpsichord and guitar, as 
 perfectly as a professed mistre'^s of the science; so that it was 
 with the greatest regret T parted from this amiable family, 
 which I Uid the 8th of May.'* Twiss's Travels through 
 
 f Portugal and Spain, Dubl. Ed. vol. i. p. 244. 
 
C 96 } 
 
 Yes-^waft my sorrows to th' lernian plains,, 
 
 And bid their Author share Teresa's pains. 
 
 Fly, fly, my nightingale ! the tale to bear -, 
 
 Or thou, my parrot ! pour it on his ear : 
 
 Ah ! could my monkey swim the watery way, 
 
 /Ind grin my woes, andehide his long delay ^ i^ 
 
 Half naked, shiv'ring at the midnight air, 
 Witl^ mangled bosom and dishevelled hair, 
 Oiie stocking off, I sit, and weep,and write ; 
 The streaming tears have drown'd my taper's light. 
 Where does my brave, my beaqteous Briton rove, 
 That star of courtesy, that souj of love ! 
 What yielding heart partakes the wand'ring fire.? 
 Whom does lh.y fiddle melt to fond desire ? . 
 That fiddle, where the loves encradled sleep. 
 Squeak in its tones, and thro' its opens peep, 20 
 To mark their prey y then many a bow they bend, 
 And many an arrow 'midst the croud they send. 
 What fair Hibernian, with superior charms, 
 Withholds the wanderer from Teresa's arms? 
 
 BJest 
 
[ 8i 3 
 
 iSlest be the fates that grac*d my charmer's birth 
 
 With Quixote's gallantry, and Sancho's mirth ! 
 
 What sweet extremes adorn his various mind. 
 
 Wild as the Zebra, as the Jack- Ass kind ! 
 
 Full many a tear for thee, brave stranger ! falls. 
 
 Full many a sigh resounds to Murcia's walls, ^C^ 
 
 Full many a lute is tun'd to Richard*s name. 
 
 And many a sonnet speaks the Briton's fame. 
 
 Return, retiirnj ye lightly-pacing hours ! 
 
 When Love and Twiss endear*d the Murcian bow*rs> 
 
 When Twiss, the slave of dalliance and desire. 
 
 Sung like a cricket in his cage of wire ; 
 
 Each hour, each minute brought it's joys along, 
 
 FandangOi concert, alamede, or songi 
 
 O say, 
 
 L. 28. Zebra.] Zebra, ot- wild ass;— they never can be 
 sufficiently .broke to endure a bit or rein : though it was 
 attempted to enable six of them to draw the Prince of 
 Beira's chariot. T. T. Vol. 1. p. 14, 
 
 L. 36. Cricket.] In most parts of Spain, crickets are kept 
 in small wire cages, placed on the window ledges; they are 
 each in a separate cage, with a bit of sallad, and kept continu- 
 ally chirping. T. T. Vol. 2. p. 100. 
 
 L. 38* Fandango.] There are two kinds of Fandangos, 
 
 though they are danced to the same tune: the one is the decent 
 
 dance, the other is lallant — [/or in this gentleman's vocabulary^ 
 
 H gallant 
 
f S2 ] 
 
 O say, ye groves ! and say^ ye flowery plairis t 
 Say, tow'rs of Murcia ! (for ye heard his strains, 40 
 And view'd us scampering thro' the breezy shade, 
 When the fleet ass the silken rein obey'd,) 
 What youth like Twiss the fiddle-stick commands. 
 Or bridles Jack-ass with such dex'trous hands ? 
 
 My 
 
 gallant is synonymous to indecent^ — full of ex/iression ; and, as a Jate 
 French author energetically expresses it, est melee de certaines 
 attitudes qui offrent un tableau continuel de jouissance. This dance 
 U for two persons, much like the Dutch Plugge Dansen, ■■■> 
 
 T. T. Yol. I. p. 19..-168. 
 
 L. 38. Alamede.] Answers to mall. After the diversions 
 [plays] end, which is usually half past eleven, it is custonvary 
 walk in the Alameda, or mall, till midnight; here I saw 
 
 Donne e Donzelle, 
 D'ogni eta, d'ogni sorte, e brutte e belle. 
 
 Among the rest, I observed several ladies who had fixed 
 glowworms, by threads, to their hair, which had a luminous and 
 pleasing effect* 
 
 This Alameda [at Cadiz] is much resorted to by ladies of 
 easy virtue* 
 
 T. T. Vol 2. p. 54. 
 
 L. 44. Jack-ass.] The ladies, both in Spain and Portugal, 
 ride on burros, or jack-asses, with a pack-saddle; a servant 
 attends them with asharp stick, to make the beast go faster, 
 when necessary; if he goes too fast, he stops it by pulling it 
 by the tail. Gentlemen ride on horses, servants on mules; as 
 do likewise those physicians who have no carriages. 
 
 T. T. Vol. I. p. 34* 
 
[ ^3 1 
 
 My dear Cortejo, ever at my side,- 
 
 By night my fidler, and by day my guide. 
 
 Well could he parasol or fly-flap hold, 
 
 Adjust the veil that shone with threads of gold j 
 
 For ripest grapes the mazy garden trace, 
 
 Gr hush musquitos from his Pinna's face. 50 
 
 And graceful oft extended at my feet. 
 And gazing up, with looks so fond, so sweet. 
 He talk*d — how British dames on tea regale. 
 Build the high head, or drag the sweeping tail; 
 
 Of 
 
 L. 45. Cortejo.] Synonymous with the Italran Cicisbeij I do 
 not assert that all their ladies have such attendants. I was one 
 evening much surprized at seeing a lady, with whom 1 had the 
 day before been in company, when she was dressed in the 
 height of coquetry, make her appearance in a nun's bl^k 
 habir, with a leathern thong, to which hung knotted cords 
 round her waist. She told me she had made a vow to wear 
 that habit for six months, by way of penance, for some sins 
 that she had committed. On enquiry, from one of htr female 
 frknds^ I found it was only because her husband had forbid his 
 house to her Cortejo: So that the pOor lady thus publicly testi- 
 fied her sorrow for her swain's discharge. 
 
 T. T. Vol. 2. p. 102. 
 
 L. 47. Flyfiap.] I had the honour of dining at the house 
 of the marquis del Bado; the guests were ail served in plate; 
 several pages attended with flyflaps, to prevent those trouble- 
 some injects {yi%, the quests,] from settling on the dishes. 
 
 H 2 T. T. Vol, %, p. 29, 
 
r 84 r 
 
 Of tinseU'd rose in silken slippers worn. 
 And ostrich plumes that powder'd locks adorn | 
 That flounce exploded quits the beauteous arm. 
 And spreading hoops expand the power to charm. 
 While fashion waves her wand the stays to sink, 
 And greedy eyes the full-orb'd bosom drink; 60 
 Their cards, their tickets what devices grace. 
 
 Their gowns what trimmings, and their caps what lace. 
 
 Such sweet discourse the fleeting hours deceived j 
 Yousmird, Igaz'd; youvow'd, and I believ'd ; 
 Yes — on thy tale the foolish maiden hung, 
 And suck'd the poison from thy nectar'd tongue. 
 
 When, dim and pale, the sun begins to rise, 
 He seems a mushroom to the sailor's eyes; 
 
 Then 
 
 L. 68. Seems a mushroom.] This simile may be best illus* 
 trated by a quotation from Chandler's Travels, Dub. Edit. 
 page 3. " To complete this wonderful day, the sun before its 
 •* setting was exceedingly big, and assumed a variety of fantastic 
 ** shapes. It was surrounded first with a golden glory, of great 
 ** extent, and flamed upon the surface of the sea in a long co- 
 ** lumn of fire. The lower half of the orb soon after immerged 
 ** in the horizon, the other portion remaining very large and 
 «* red, with half of a smaller orb beneath it, and separate, but 
 f* in the same direction, the circular rim approaching the line 
 , ■ . « of 
 
t 85 ]■ 
 
 Then from th' horizon rears his shamefac'd head, - 
 And shews, a copper pot-lid, dim and red; 70 
 
 'Till lifted high, and strong in noon-tide glare, 
 He thaws the traveller with his brazen stare. 
 U Thus Love at first but faintly we descry. 
 It seems the mushroom of a rovii^g eye; 
 Then seen more plainly for its blushing veil. 
 It owns the truth by striving to conceal; 
 Confessed and brazen last it pours its rays. 
 And reason faints beneath th' impetuous blaze. 
 
 At first I wonder'd how my soul could dance 
 
 With new^-born flutt*rings, when I met your glance ; 
 
 Next half concealed, and thus the more displayed, 8 1 
 
 C*er conscious weakness cold reserve I laid : 
 
 Then 
 
 ♦* of its diameter. These two by degrees united, and then 
 " changed rapidly into different figures, until the resemblance 
 *' was that of a cajiacious jmnch-bonul inverted. The rim of the 
 ** bottom extended upward, and the body lengthening below, 
 ** it became a musJirooM on a stalky •with a round head. It was 
 " next metamorphosed into a flaming caldron^ of which the lid^ 
 " rising up, swelled nearly into an orb, and vanished. The 
 " other portion put on several uncircular forms, and after 
 »* many twinklings and faint glimmerings, slowly disappeared, 
 •* quite red; leaving the clouds, hanging over the dark rocks 
 ** on th€ Barbary shore, tinged with a vivid bloody hue," 
 
 H3 
 
[ 86 ] 
 
 Then the bold passion dar'd the gen'ral eye^ 
 Fierce as the sun, and boundless as the sity 1 
 Our love the crouded alameda knew. 
 And oft at bull-fights was I seen with you; 
 Our wishes lighten'd from our eyes in fire. 
 Our practised fingers talked the big desire ; 
 Ne'er from guitar such tones could Pinna bring, 
 As when her Twiss attun'd the vocal string; go 
 The strings you finger-d glow'd with many a kiss, 
 And groves of citron heard the name of Twiss. 
 An;^ious to please, I dress'.d with double care^ 
 And pendent glowworms lighten'd in my hair^ 
 I s.corn'd my parents' voice, iny spotless fame. 
 And malice batten'd on Teresa's name. 
 
 Woo'd by the fairest )rouths, the pride of Spaln^ 
 For thee, base man ! I scorn'd the gallant train ; 
 Nay ev'n, for thee— the Spanish garb I scorn- d. 
 The darling trifles that our maids adorn'd ; leq 
 All but her veil the doating fool resign'd, 
 (To tender stealths the veil was ever kinjd) 
 
 The 
 L. 94.] f^ide above, Note, 1. is. 
 
C 87 ] 
 
 « 
 
 The yellow powder, and the pendent worm. 
 The widenM sleeves that grace the taper form, 
 And bright with silver threads the network caul. 
 Ungrateful youth ! for thee I scorn'd them all ; 
 And lov'd to dress me like an English girl, . 
 My nightgown muslin, and my ear-rings pearl ; 
 And well, methought, the passion was repaid. 
 For dearly then you lov'd the Murcian maid. i lo 
 New toads, new lizards, day by day were caught, 
 And still to me the reptile game you brought; 
 
 Or 
 
 L. 103. Yellow Po'wder, Src.] The women wear no caps, 
 but tie a kind of network silk purse over their hair, with a 
 long tassel behind; the sleeves of their gowns are wide enough 
 to admit their waists, which, however, seldom exceed a span 
 in diameter. The ladies powder their hair with yellow powder. 
 
 T. T, Vol. 1. 35.-2. 109. 
 
 L. III. Lizards,] Lizards of different sizes, from two 
 inches to eighteen, swarmed among the stones and wails; the 
 larger are very fierce and dangerous. I have seen several, 
 which, being pursued by a little dog I had, would turn about 
 and stand at bay, hissing violently, their mouths open, wide 
 enough to admit a hen's egg: their bite is so tenacious, that I 
 have lifted them from the ground, by putting a stick in their 
 mouths. Dr. Goldsmith says, ' Salt seem^ to be more effica- 
 
 * cious for destroying these animals than the knife; for, on beino- 
 
 * sprinkled with it, the whole body emits a viscous liquor, and 
 
 * the lizard dies in three minutes in great agonies.* I was at 
 that time ignorant of this particular, or I should have made the 
 experiment, which I have tried on snails, and found it to have 
 the same effept it is here said it will have on lizards.' 
 
 H4 T. T. Vol. I. p. 234. 
 
C 83 I 
 
 Or on my petticoats cameleons plac*d, 
 
 And wond'ring mark'd how colour colour chac'd^ 
 
 One (for my petticoat was torn and thin) 
 
 Slipt thro' a chink, and nestled to my skin: 
 With nimble hand you seiz'd it where it crawl'd, 
 Heav'ns ! how I blush'd, I shudder'd, and I squall'd ! 
 
 Alas, how changM ! what cares ! what sorrows rise ! 
 Hibernia calls him— he my chamber flies, I2p 
 
 Love, liberty, and life with Twiss depart^ 
 Fandangos, fiddles, and Teresa's heart j 
 The groves are silent, flowers forget to spring. 
 My lapdog droops, my crickets cease to sing : 
 I see thee waking, clasp thee in my sleep. 
 And scalding tears my thoi-ny piljow steep. 
 
 One sole employment fills the moping hour, 
 To nurse the sorrows that my peace devour. 
 That, veird.frqm_sjght, the fostering bosom rive. 
 Within the peach as nested earwigs liveo 130 
 
 > Thus 
 
 to 113.] I purchased four live cameleons, &c. 
 
 T. T. Vol. s. p. 96. 
 
[ 89 3 
 
 Thus, when her chicken, in some puddle drown'd. 
 
 Or kennel deep, a watery death has found. 
 
 The matron hen laments the giddy fool. 
 
 And chucks and chucks around the turbid pool: 
 
 Nor oats, nor oatmeal, sooth her sorrowing breast. 
 
 With flagging wing she roves, with plume undrest, 
 
 And all a mother's love in busy woe confest. 
 
 ! 
 
 Not Alameda charms thy pensive fair. 
 Nor grove where.lemons balm the scented air; 
 But, sad and lonely, by the midnight oil, 140 
 
 I turn the weary page with ceaseless toil. 
 That tells how Richard stray 'd from post to post. 
 What towns he din'd in, and what bridges crost j 
 How many eagles by the way were seen ; 
 How many asses graz'd along the green ; 
 What steeple's height the pious stork possesr. 
 Or what low Venta boasts her humble nest. 
 
 Our 
 
 L. 144. Eagles.] During these last four leagues, I observed 
 nothing remarkable — except ten eagl^, fljin^ circularly near 
 each other. On the 24th of May, we saw a great number of 
 eagles. T. T. Vol. 2. p. 13 & 16. 
 
 L. 145* Asses.] During this journey, we met and overtook 
 thousands of asses. T. T. Vol. i. p. 66. 
 
 ' L. 146. Stork.] We dined at the village of Gallego, where 
 I observed two storks, which h^d built their nests on the church 
 
 steeple. 
 
Ul 
 
 C 90 ] 
 
 Our Murcia too, and Pinna's name I find. 
 To glory hallpw'd, and with Richard join'd ; 
 Thus in his metal Manly's name survives. 
 And Read's immortal on his own case-knives. 
 In melting notes when tonadillas roll, 
 . And seguediilas catch the prison'd soul* 
 Thine image puts my music-book to flight. 
 Breves, minims, crotchets swim before my sight ; 
 In floods of tears my harpsichord is drown'd. 
 While basses groan, and trebles squeak around. 
 
 Ye Gods, who see my sorrows, know my truth, 
 Ob, pour hot vengeance on the perjured youth ! 
 Yes, at his head some signal judgment throw, i6q 
 Great as my wrongs, and weighty as my woe ; 
 
 Overturn 
 
 steeple. We crossed the river Agueda on a temporary bridge, 
 ami entered the city of Cividad Rodrigo; where we saw many 
 storks nests on the steeples and chimnies. We past this 
 night in a Venta, which had a stork's nest on the roof. 
 
 T.T. Vol. I. p. 60 & "66. 
 
 L. 147. Venta.] We dined at a Venta, in the Hogsty, as 
 the sreioke in the parlour, which had no chimney, was insuffer- 
 able. We passed the night at the village of Cazeriche, nest- 
 ling among the straw. T. T. Vol. i. p; 236. 
 
 L. 152. Tonadillas.] Tonadillas, cantatas, &c. for two, 
 three, or four voices ; seguedilla, only part of a tonadilla. 
 
 T.T. Vol. I. p- 179. 
 
, [ 91 ] 
 
 O'erturnhis chaise in torrent, dike, or bog; 
 Souse him with show'rs, bewilder him with fog; 
 Let caitiff publican o'ercharge his bill. 
 And toothless matron fleece him at quadrille. 
 
 What direful wish froni frantic passion sped I 
 Return, my curses, on my guilty head, 
 Prevent, ye Gods ! my Richard's warm desires 
 With all th,at reason wins, and fancy fires. 
 May beetles, bats,, and toads his steps surround, ijo 
 M^y gypsies srriile, and lutes and bagpipes sound ! 
 
 Per 
 
 L. 171. Gypsies.] Numerous throughout, &c. The as- 
 sertijon, that they are all so abandoned, as that author [le i>oy^ 
 ageur Franf:ois\ says, is too general. / have lodged many timts 
 in their homes ; and never missed the most trifling thing, ihoiigfe 
 I have left mj knives, forks, candlesticks, spoons, and linen, 
 at their mercy : and I have more than once known umuccessfid 
 atiemjits made for a private intervieiv with some of their young 
 females, who virtuously rejected both the couitship and rhe 
 -inoncy. — : — We got to Chiridel, where *we past the night on 
 straw, in a Venta kept by gypsicj*, the doors and windows of 
 
 which were always open, by reason they had none to 
 
 ^hut. Our lajicila.dy, honxever^ very obligingly danced a 
 Fandango with the soldier, to the sound of the tambour dc 
 Basque & Casiannetas. May the 18th, we enteied the city 
 of Granada, ^c. &c. and put up at the inn, kept by gyk* 
 jies, Don Fernando and his man, with myself, my servant, i 
 the host, hostess, three children, and some foot travellers, ali 
 ^lept on the straw together, T, T. Vol, i. p. ^6^, 
 
C 92 ] 
 
 For him, let lizards people every wall, 
 
 And monstrous maggots from the viands crawl! 
 
 To gain the notice of an F. R. S. 
 Til' lernian plains what teeming wonders bless. 
 Such potent drugs as ancient Colchos bore, 
 The venom'd herbage of Thessalian lore ? 
 With alligators swarms the river's tide. 
 Do winged basilisks the breezes ride? 
 In vain, in vain you tread the barren plains^ i8o 
 Nor asp,, nor tumble-dung rewards your pains; 
 The wretched vales nor snake nor scorpion boast. 
 Saint Patrick chas'd them from the guilty coast ; 
 Mere common flies the noontide shambles breed. 
 Mere vulgar lice on Irish beggars feed ; 
 
 In 
 
 L. i8i. Tumbledung.] The beetle, which the Americans 
 call tumbledung^ particularly demands our attention, &c. its 
 strength is given it for more useful purposes, than exciting 
 human curiosity ; for there is no creature more laborious, 
 either in seeking subsistence, or in providing a Jirojier retreat 
 for its young; they ai|€ endowed with sagacity to discover jz^^- 
 shtence^ by their excetltnt smelly which directs them to excre^ 
 ments just fallen from man or beast, on which they instantly 
 drop, and fall unanimously to work in forming round balls or 
 pellets thereof, in each of which they inclose an egg. 
 
 T. T.Vol, 2. p. 14. 
 
C 93 I 
 
 In vain ypur teeth^ your microscope you try. 
 They seeni but English to the taste and eye. 
 
 While Pinna weeps to Murcian vales and bow'rs, 
 What cares, what studies fill the wanderer's hours 1 
 Dost thou, with learn'd and deep precision, mark 1 90- 
 The length of turkey, and the breadth of lark? 
 Thy sumptuous board do rotten viands load. 
 And writhing maggots feed thy darling toad? 
 Dost thou thy muster-roll of beauties frame. 
 And call to judgment each aspiring dame; 
 
 A second 
 
 L. 183. Saint Patrick.] Saint Patrick, according to some 
 old traditions, banished snakes, and some other venomous 
 creatures, from Ireland. 
 
 L. 191. Turkey, &c. Lark.] The larks here are of an ex* 
 traordinary size, — the largest which I shot, measured seven- 
 teen inches, when the wings were extended. 
 
 T. T. Vol. I. p. 66. 
 
 L, 193. Writhing Maggots.] Since my return to England I 
 procured two loads, in order to observe their manner of feed- 
 ing, which they did out of my hand ^ ivherdn I held some maggots^ 
 which I had engendered in rotten meat; the toads darted out 
 their tongues with a motion as rapid as the fiyer of a jack, so 
 that the eye could scarcely follow them, and swallowed the 
 maggots, which adhered to the glutinous part of the tongue. 
 
 T. T, Vol. 2. p. 96, 
 
 L. 194. Muster-roll of beauties.] Mr, Twiss had seriously 
 
 conceived 
 
I 94 1 
 
 A second Paris ! on thy dread comrtiandSj^ 
 in naked glory wait the^ shining bands ; 
 A thousand nymphs lerne's proudest boast, 
 A thousand nymphs, and every nymph a toast. 
 • While nice discernment, in impartial scale, 20^ 
 The tooth of Philiis weighs with Mira's nail,- 
 Adjusts the credit and the debt of charms. 
 The legs of Portia with Calist^'s arms, 
 Blondina'slily with Belinda's rose. 
 And Laura's pretty foot with Flavia's nose. 
 
 But can*st thou, fond and feeling as thou art. 
 Survey the charmer, and preserve thy heart ? 
 Some secret spell the homeliest maidens find 
 To fire the tinder of thy yielding mind. 
 Each stature, colour, feature, age and shape; 210 
 Brown as they were, not gypsies could escape : 
 Their smutty charms your wandring eyes betray'd, , 
 And oft and oft you vvrong'd the Murcian maid. 
 With soothing speech you woo'd the tawny tr'ain. 
 And sometimes too-«-yoo motirn'dtheir proud disdainc 
 
 Distracting 
 
 conceived a design of making a catalogue of beauties, ranked 
 according to their respective merits, for the embellishmenc of 
 his intended book of travels through Ireland, 
 
 L. ai5,/7^tf Note, 1.6. 
 
f 95 1 ,n 
 
 Distracting thought 1 Some Irish damsel^s thrail^ 
 Perhaps this moment at her feet you fall ; 
 Or on the foot-stool of her chariot stand. 
 Sigh, chatter, flirt her fan, and squeeze her hand^ 
 When city belles in Sunday pomp are seen, 220 
 
 And gilded chariots troll round Stephen's-green« 
 Ye Gods above ! Ye blackguard boys below ! 
 Oh, splash his stockings, and avenge my woe. 
 Perhaps some Siren wafts thee all alone. 
 In magic vehicle, to cates unknown j 
 High, low machine, that bears plebeian wight 
 To distant tea-house, or funereal rite : 
 Still as it moves, the proud pavilion nods, 
 A chaise by mortals, noddy term'd by gods. 
 
 Where 
 
 L. 218'. Footstool of her chariot.] The ladies afterwards 
 
 took an airing in their chariots, drawn by four and six mules, 
 
 slowly driving backwards and forwards along the mall, or 
 
 Alameda, which is pleasantly planted with trees on the side of 
 
 the river Xeniij the gentlemen walked on foot, and from time 
 
 to time got on the foot-step of the carriages, placing their arm 
 
 over the coach door, cortejando las icnmras cicisbeing-the ladies, 
 
 which ceremony I c^vild not in conscience dispense with. 
 
 T. T. Vol. I. p. 257, 
 
 L. 221, Stephen's-green.] A place of public resort, espe- 
 cially on Sundays, when the nobility and gentry take the air 
 there, and parade in their carriages. For a description of if, 
 vide Twiss's Tour in Ireland. 
 
 L. 229 ] For a description of this vehicle, ^ids the same 
 work. 
 
f 96 3 
 
 Where Dontiybrook surveys her winding rillsj aj^ 
 And Chapel-izod rears her sunny hills. 
 Thy sumptuous board the little loves prepare. 
 And Sally Lun, and saffron- cake are there. 
 Blest saffron-cakes ! from you may Dublin claim 
 Peculiar pleasure^ and peculiar fame. 
 Blest cates ! plump, yellow, tempting as the breast 
 Of gypse}^, heaving thro' the tatter'd vest ! 
 Once smocks alone neglected saffron dy'd, 
 (Unwash'd to wear them was the maiden's pride) 
 The generous drug, more honoured than of yore. 
 Now fills the bellies it adorn'd before, 24 1 
 
 Yet shall our lemons to potatoes bend ? 
 With Spanish dames shall Irish maids contend > 
 Or Dublin beggars boast an equal part 
 With Murcian gypsies in my Richard's heart ? 
 Are fairer throngs at play than bull-fight seen? 
 Or yield our Alamedes to Stephen's- green ? 
 The rocket's blaze shall dim the comet's tail. 
 When Liffey's banks contend with Murcia's vale^ 
 
 And 
 
 L. 230.] Donftybrook, Chapel-izod, names of pleasant 
 villages in the neighbourhood of Dublin* 
 
 L. 238.] Alluding to the custom which anciently prevailed 
 among the Irish oi dying their linen with saffron. 
 
I 97 1 
 
 And lemons crown the bleak Hibernian coast, 250 
 Ere Irish miss the charms of Pinna boast. 
 Let birth, let grandeur strike thy lifted eye. 
 And say, what maidan shall with Pinna vie ? 
 The best, the proudest, of your Irish dames. 
 Reflected pride from Spanish lineage claims* 
 What are the glories of Milesian blood ? 
 A scant infusion of our generous flood ; 
 But so debas'd, so lost, you vainly trace 
 The genial currents in the mongrel race. 
 
 Well (for, by chance divine, a map I found) 26Q 
 I know each single spot of Irish ground ; 
 Thy daily wanderings on the sheet I trace. 
 And hunt thee with a pin from place to place s 
 Hibernian fens, with cold Lethean steams. 
 Diffuse dull loit'rings and oblivious dreams. 
 Yet should some chance the thoughtless rover call 
 Where crouded Limerick rears th' embattled wall. 
 Where, Cloacihe ! thy fanes are yet unknown. 
 And foul cascades benighted strangers drown ;^ 
 
 Then 
 
 L. 267.] It seems probable that Donna Teresa derived her 
 idea of Limerick from some old book of travels, as this town 
 is not at present remarkable for cither €mhattled 'walls^ or fohi 
 cascades, 
 
 I 
 
C 98 ] 
 
 Then shall his lovcj revived by well-known stink. 
 Remember Spain, and on Teresa think. 272 
 
 Come, Richard, come, no more perplex thy head 
 With writing books that never shall be read. 
 What joys, what sports can Irish plains afford^ 
 What tender lady, or what treating lord ? 
 At twilight hour what painted Floras rove; 
 Oh, where shall traveller taste the joys of love? 
 In what kind tavern shall he wear the night j 
 Where find a bagnio fit for Christian wight ? 
 What beggar maid shall fire him with her charms j 
 Or what soft gypsie fill his longing arms ? 281 
 
 The gypsie damsel tyrant Houghton claims. 
 And, envious caitiff ! mars thy rising flames. 
 The sable cart, detested object, rolls. 
 And rumbles dire cjismay to vagrant souls: 
 The mutes around it stalk, a griesly band. 
 The bloody halberd arms each iron hand. 
 
 All 
 
 "JL, 282.] Mr. Honghton, employed by the governors of the 
 House of Industry, in regulating the police of that place, and 
 assigning proper tasks to the paupers. 
 
C 99 ] 
 
 All, all the ragged to their empire bend. 
 
 Old, young, blind, lame, the fatal cart ascend. 
 
 Not shrieking infant for his youth he spares, 29c 
 
 Not bearded grandsire for his silver hairs. 
 
 Not maiden coy, with rage and terror pale. 
 
 He dooms, he bears her to his proud serail. 
 
 E*en when the ballad-singer's note is loud. 
 
 And fears and wishes sooth the melting croud. 
 
 When artless love, and love*s disport, she sings> 
 
 Or heroes pendent in unworthy strings; 
 
 Sudden the cart, the fatal cart appears ; 
 
 The captive minstrel steeps her song in tears. 
 
 But, ah ! my fears, my boding fears arise, 300 
 
 (Within the vagrant act my Richard hes) 
 
 Lest thou the cart's unenvied height shouldst gain. 
 
 And tide triumphant through the hooting train. 
 
 Once 
 
 L. 293.] House of Industry. Thus described by the late 
 Alderman Faulkner — ** House of Industry, first contrived by 
 *' Mr. Ben. Houghton, Weaver, and several other worthy 
 ** Clergymen, for taking up cripples that lie in the streets, 
 " folks without legs that stand at the corners, and such 
 ** like vagranis. We have the pleasure to hear, that all the 
 " ballad-singers, blind-harpers, Hackball, and many other 
 *' refarioits old <women^ are in there already. My nephew 
 «' Todd, and I, subscribe to it annually j and when 1 die^^ 2 
 " will leave it a legacy in my will.'* 
 
 I % 
 
[ lOO ] 
 
 Oace only skilled to feed the toad and asp^, 
 Say, canst thou oakum pick, or logwood rasp F 
 
 But mightier fears distract thy Pinna's mind. 
 For mightier ills are yet unnam'd behind ; 
 Such perils wait thee on the guilty shore. 
 As never damsel mourn' d, nor errant bore. 
 Where'er you tread, the snares of death surround; 310 
 Fierce is the duellist, the punk unsound. 
 Not there^ to games and theatres confin'd. 
 Bulls rove at large, and butt at all mankind ; 
 The meanest peasant keeps them in his cell. 
 They roar in churches, and in senates dwell. 
 Infest the gay Rotund, the neighb'ring grove. 
 The lawyer's pleading, and the soldier's love. 
 My timely warning treasure in thine ear. 
 And Irish hulls^ my gallant stranger, fear. 
 
 And yet 'tis well ; these fears, these dangers rise, 320 
 
 To drive thee back to love and genial skies. 
 
 May scorn on scorn, on laughter laughter fall. 
 
 And back to Pinna- hunt her slighted thrall ! 
 
 Where'er 
 
 L. 305,]' The paupers in the House of Industry are oftca 
 employed in these tasks. 
 
Where'er you go, may bursting titter sound. 
 The sneer, the whisper, and .the gibe go round ! 
 May females sly the luckless traveller smokCj 
 And wags malicious tip th' eternal joke! 
 May critic tribes thy still-born tome pursue. 
 Dissect it, tear it, in the next review! 
 Unlucky race! in wantonness of spite, 330 
 
 They grin, they scratch, they chatter, and they bite^ 
 To hunt their nasty game, by hunger led, 
 They feed on vermin of an author's head ; 
 Thus well-bred monkeys claw the peopled crowns 
 Of lazy Ipons in Lusitanian towns, 
 With keen dispatch devour the noxious brood. 
 And find at once both exercise and food : 
 And ne'er, my dear Cortejo and my friend. 
 Ne'er shall success thy Irish lov^s attend. 
 
 Hibernian 
 
 L.334. Monkeys.] Strolling one day about the streets of 
 Lisbon, in search of new objects, I was witness to an uncom- 
 mon scene, which was of two men sitting in the street, having 
 each a large baboon on his shoulders, freeing his head from 
 vermin, with which it swarmed. The baboons are very dex- 
 terous, and are the property of a man who gains his livelihood 
 by thus employing them. 
 
 T. T. Vol. p. 23. 
 I 3 
 
t 102 ] 
 
 Hibernian dames, a bold and forward kind, 340 
 To basiiful love and modest worth are blind. 
 Ill shall the timid awe, the blushing grace. 
 Suit the rough manners of the savage race ; 
 Thy humble deference, thy respectful art. 
 Thy veil'd attentions stealing on the heart. 
 Mere custard to that ostrich tribe shall feel. 
 To civil brass enufd, and martial steel. 
 
 Come, Richard, come, forget Hibernian charms, 
 And close thy wanderings in Teresa's arms ; 
 No critics here in coffee-houses rage, 
 No classic females learned warfare wage, 350 
 
 But ball and bull-fight charm the courtly throng, 
 The midnight chorus, and the matin song. 
 Here tune thy fiddle, here refit thy bow. 
 And pitch thy printer to the fiends below. 
 The swallow thus in pride of youthful blood. 
 Forsakes his antient tenement of mud ; 
 From hill to hill, from plain to plain he roves,. 
 And chirps his wishes to the neighb*ring groves: 
 But, when the rains descend, and whirlwinds roar, v 
 Fond of the humble seat he scorn'd before, 361 > 
 He nestles close within, and quits it's verge no more. J 
 
 THE END. 
 
( 103 ) 
 
 AN 
 
 ARCHAEOLOGICAL EPISTLE, 
 
 TO THE 
 REVEREND AND WORSHIPFUL 
 
 JEREMIAH MILLES, D.D. 
 
 \ 
 X)EAN OF EXETEE, PRESIDENT OF THE SOCIETY OF ANTIQUARIES, 
 
 EDITOR OF A SUPERB EDITION OF THE POEMS OF THOMAS 
 ROWLEY, PRIEST. 
 
 TO WHICH IS ANNEXED, 
 
 A GLOSSARY, 
 
 EXTRACTED FROM THAT OF THE LEARNED DEAN. 
 
 First printed in the year 178a. 
 
t '°5 3 
 
 PREFACE, 
 
 As Archaeological science most certainly excels Chinese 
 gardening, and as a President of the Society of Antiquaries 
 takes precedence (at least on English ground) of a Knight 
 of the Polar star, I flatter myself, that in point of subject, 
 and choice of the personage to whom I address myself, I 
 may vie with the inimitable author of the celebrated Heroic 
 Epistle. I shall, however, forbear to enter the lists with 
 him as a poet, or march in the rear of his numerous host of 
 imitators : my modesty prevents the one, and my vanity the 
 other. Instead therefore of writing heroically, I shall write 
 ^i.rchaeologically; or, to speak more properly, Heroico-Ar- 
 chaeologically, employing a style and manner, of which 
 there is at present only one exemplar in the known world, 
 and of which, I trust, the following epistle will be found an 
 absolute fac simile. And I am the rather inclined to do 
 this, because I am credibly informed, that many formidable 
 critics are still attempting to disprove the authenticity of my 
 original. Now, should they succeed in this attempt, the 
 reader easily perceives, that I may claim a kind o^fee-sim' 
 pie right to this style by way of direct inheritance: for, 
 should all the old chests in all the parish churches of the 
 kingdom, after a pregnancy of four centuries, choose to 
 
 bring 
 
C »o6 J 
 
 bring forth a tuneful progeny of pastorals, tragedies, epic 
 . poems, and what not, it cannot be imagined, that the said 
 <;hests will ever pretend, that they were impregnated in the 
 game wonderful manner, and by the same occult personage, 
 with that of St. Mary Redclift. I must, therefore, if her 
 pretty bantlings be proved suppositious, or illegitimate, 
 necessarily rise up the first Arch^ological Poet in Great 
 jBritain. 
 
 In this eventful moment, therefore, of literary suspence, 
 let not any rash reader presume to say, that I imitate Row- 
 ley ; for then another will as peremptorily answer, that I 
 imitate Chatterton. And 'if, on the contrary, he asserts 
 that I emulate Chatterton, the learned personage, whom I 
 address, will be in gratitude bound to prove, that I emu- 
 late Rowley; which I own, indeed, I should like best, 
 because then I should run a fair chance of excelling Homer, 
 Theocritus, and the best poets of antiquity. But, be this 
 as it may, I only say of myself simply and modestly, that I 
 write Archaeological ly; and, as a most profound* etymolo- 
 gist has lately proved that a writer must know his own 
 meaning (a comfortable truth to know, in an age, in which 
 so many authors write without any meaning) resting on his 
 great authority, and taking for granted that I do know my 
 own meaning, I profess only to write in common plain Enw 
 glish first, and afterwards to unspell it, and unanglicize it, 
 by means of that elaborate glossary, which Dr. Milles has 
 fabricated for the use of the readers of my original. Pity ! 
 great pity, indeed, it is, that while he was^ doing this, he 
 did not also fabricate another for his imitators. Had he 
 
 * See Bryant's Observations, p. sg. 
 
 done 
 
[ 107 3 
 
 ^one this, and placed the modern words before the Ar-i 
 chaeological ones, it is certain the greatest part of my labou^ 
 had been saved. 
 
 To supply this great desideratum, it is my intention fafter 
 my own fame is by my present production fully established) 
 to write a complete Art of Archaeological poetry in the man- 
 ner of Mr. Bysshe ; and not only this, but to add to it a com- 
 plete Anglo-Gothico-Saxonico-Chattertonic dictionary for 
 the use of tiros. For this latter work I shall, however, 
 order my bookseller to article with Dr. Johnson, or any 
 other writer in the trade (the Doctor, having been a dicti- 
 onary-maker, might perhaps be the fittest) who, for a speci- 
 fied sum, or sheet by sheet, as they shall agree, may 
 transpose Dr. Milles's glossary in the way above-mentioned, - 
 so that for any given English word the Gothico-Saxonico- 
 Chattertonic, or any thing but English synonyme, may be 
 immediately found. When this dictionary is duly formed, 
 I will be bold to say, that this modeof writing will be found 
 so easy, that every miss and master in the kingdom will be " 
 enabled to puzzle not only our old Society of Antiquaries 
 here in England, but also that new Scotch one, which 
 either is, or is about to be, founded under the auspices of 
 the Earl of Buchan. 
 
 On hinting this scheme to one of my friends, he told me 
 it was not likely that Dr. Johnson would undertake the task, 
 because were this style to become the fashion, it would 
 eclipse his own. The objection §eemed plausible at first, 
 but, on reflection, I can see little weight in it. The merit 
 of the Doctor's style is known to consist in his long words, 
 hard words, and stiffly-constructed sentences. Now the 
 
 style 
 
C xo8 3 
 
 ftyie which I have the honour to recommend, althougH 
 there are a few long wor4s in it, such as amenused^ 
 ckerisaunkd, &c, ^c, yet they are not nearly so long, or 
 so numerous, as those of the Doctor's own coinage. Hard 
 words too, I own, are to be found in it ; but these only 
 because they are obsolete, and not like his, brought in 
 through affectation, but from sheer necessity. Then, as to 
 the construction of whole sentences, nothing in the world 
 is so totally dissimilar, as the Lexiphanic and Archaeologic 
 mcmner: the one is swotie, moUy znAfetive; the other 
 rugose^ cacophonous^ and dentifrangent. 
 
 Another reason, which my friend gave, why the Doctor 
 would probably not undertake this employment, was, that 
 he entertained heterodox notions concerning my Archetype, 
 the immortal Rowley*. But what then? Did not the 
 Doctor once entertain heterodox notions concerning the 
 right of the Hanover succession ? And if a pension from the 
 Treasury could cure him of the latter, why may not a pen- 
 sion from my bookseller cure him of the former? My money 
 is as good as a Prime Minister's, aiid as (according to the 
 old proverb) money makes the mare to go, so will it make 
 his spavined pen flounder over any ground, dirty or clean, 
 provided only it be excused from taking that road, which 
 leads to the real interests of his Sovereign, or the constituti- 
 onal liberty of his fellow-subjects. Taking it, therefore, 
 for granted that, if we come up to his price (which, I trust, 
 the sale of the present work will enable me to do) the Doc- 
 tor 
 
 * His reason for this heterodoxy is probably this, that 
 Rowley having never had any life at all, there was no pro- 
 bability that any bookseller would ever pay him for becoming 
 bis biographcf. 
 
[ 109 ] 
 
 tor will engage in the task, I shall point out, with much 
 brevity, a few of the many advantages that will accrue to the 
 rising generation of poets, if, quitting a mode of versifying 
 already grown thread-bare, they would adopt this, which 
 both by example and exhortation I here recommend to them. 
 
 In the first place let me assure them, that they will hereby 
 find rimes as plenty as blackberries: for as Archaeology in- 
 troduces a whole regiment of new-old words, and gives one 
 leave either to use them or not, just as we please, it is plain 
 that now it will be full as easy to write in rime as in blank 
 verse, or even in plain prose. And, to shew that I do not 
 make a false assertion, I will produce one instance out of a 
 thousand from my original, and that from the famous Songe 
 to j£ila. The poet had in one line written: 
 
 " Beesprengedd all the mees wythe gore." 
 In a subsequent stanza he writes: 
 
 " Orr seest the hatchedd stede 
 " ypraunceyng o'er the mead.'* 
 
 Now mees being the Archaeological word, and mead the mo- 
 dern English one, it is plain he thought himself at liberty to 
 write modern English, whenever rime required him to do 
 so. Another benefit is, that the poet will be almost entirely 
 emancipated from the vile shackles of grammar; a point so 
 clear, that the reader has only to cast his eye on any page in 
 my Exemplar, to find Priscian's head broken by the poet, 
 and healed by his commentator with equal facility. As to 
 orthography, there is only one rule, and that the most sim- 
 ple that can be imagined (which, however, it is not neces- 
 sary constantly to regard) and this is, to put as many^letters 
 as you can possibly croud into a word, and then rest assured, 
 thai that word will look truly Archseological, 
 
 But 
 
[ IIS ] 
 
 But the last and best thing I shall mention is that great 
 and unspeakable emolument, which the Anglo-Saxon prefix 
 y brings to a necessitated versifier: as yprauncing for 
 prauncing, ymenging for menging, &c.. &c. By having 
 always at his beck, that poet, who cannot write a smoothline in 
 any given number of syllables, deserves in my opinion, never 
 to write a line at all. For this dear little^ comes and goes 
 just as one pleases, and may truly be called the Archceolo- 
 gical Poet's Toad-Eater. In short, with a little variation, 
 we may apply that eulogy to it, which Dryden has given to 
 St. Csecilia's music: it hath 
 
 Enlarg'd the former narrow bounds. 
 And added length to any sounds. 
 
 Such, with a great many more, are the advantages, that at- 
 tend this stile of poetry. It is not, therefore, I think, greatly 
 to be wondered at, that either a priest of the fifteenth century, 
 or that a boy at fifteen years of age (take which you please) 
 should write with greater facility at least, if not greater spi- 
 rit, than those miserable vernacular poets, who are so poor, 
 comparatively, in point of rime, that they have not one to 
 throw at a dog; who are tied so tight to the whipping-post 
 of grammar, and fitted so fast in the stocks of orthography, 
 that they have hardly an idea at liberty; and, which is worst 
 of all, cannot eke out a haltmg line by any other method, 
 than a totally different expression: Oh ! if you reflect coolly 
 on these things, my dear brethren of the quill, I am iuWy 
 persuaded that all of you, like me, will turn Archaeologists. 
 Having thus cursorily shewn what great benefits this style 
 confers upon writers, I might now proceed to prove what 
 superior delectation it affords to readers. But here I am 
 forestalled by the learned Dean, who, in his preliminary and 
 all his other masterly dissertations on the works of my pre^ 
 
 decessor, 
 
C "I ] 
 
 ^ecessor, lias irrcfragably proved the point. Indeed, as 
 president of the Society of Antiquaries, and editor of their 
 valuable Archaologia, he. has, I think, an absolute pre- 
 scriptive right to dissert on this subject. I am not there* 
 fore without my hopes, that he will one day comment on the 
 following epistle, which, if it want any thing, I am bold to 
 say, wants only the illustrative notes of so sagacious an 
 editor. 
 
 P. S. 
 
 I have lately conceived that, as Dryden, Pope, 8cc: 
 employed their great talents in translating Virgil, Ho- 
 mer, &c. that it would be a v^ry commendable employ- 
 ment for the poets of the present age to treat some of the 
 better sort of their predecessors, such as Shakspeare and 
 Milton, in a similar manner, by putting them into Ar- 
 chaeological language. This, however, I would not call 
 translatioriy but transmutation, for a very obvious reason. 
 It is, I believe, a settled point among the critics, with Dr, 
 Johnson at their head, that the greatest fault of Milton 
 (exclusive of his political tenets) is, that he wrote in blank 
 verse. See then arid admire how easily this might be 
 remedied. 
 
 Paradise Lost, Book I. 
 
 OfFe mannes fyrste bykrous volunde wolle I singe. 
 
 And ofFe the fruicte ofFe yatte caltysnyd tree. 
 
 Whose lethal taste into thys worlde dydde brynge 
 
 Bothe morthe and tene to all posteritie. 
 
 How very near also (in point of dramatic excellence) wouli 
 
 Shakspeare come to the author of j£Ua, if some of his best 
 
 pieces 
 
[ 112 ] 
 
 pieces were thus transmuted ! As for instance the solilot^uy 
 of Hamlet, " To be^ or not to be." 
 
 To blynne, or not to blynne, the den were is; 
 Gif it be bette wythin the spryte to bear6 
 The bawsyn floes and tackels of dystresse, 
 And by forloynyng amenuse them clere. 
 But I throw these trifles out, only to whet the appetite of 
 the reader, for what he is to feast on in the subsequent 
 pages. 
 
 Mile- End, Vak ^ Jrueui 
 
 March 1 5th J 1782* 
 
[ "3 3 
 
 EPISTELLE 
 
 TO 
 
 DOCTOURE MYLLES. 
 
 I. 
 
 As whanne a gronfer * with ardurous * glowe, 
 Han ' from the mees * liche * sweltrie * sun arist % 
 
 The lordynge * toade awhaped ^ creepethe slowe. 
 To hike " his groted " weam '* in mokie '■' kistc ?^ 
 
 Owlettes yblente'5 alyche dooe flizze'^ awaie. 
 
 In ivye-wympled \l fhade to glomb'^ in depe difmaier 
 
 So 
 
 EXPLANATION. 
 
 Stanza I. * A meteor. * Burning. ^ Hath. * Meadows. 
 5 Like. « Sultry. ^ Arisen. ^ Standing on his 
 hind legs, rather heavy, sluggish. * Astonished, 
 or terrified. ^^ Hjcc. '* Swelled. ^* Womb, 
 or body. * 3 Black. *♦ Coffin. *SBlinced, or 
 . dazzled. »^ Fly away, *' Ivy-mantledi 
 
 *' frown, 
 
 K 
 
t "4 ] 
 
 IL 
 
 So dygne^ Deane My lies, whanne as thie wytte* so rare 
 Han Rowley's amenused^ fame chevysed^. 
 
 His foemenne^ alle forlette® theyre grofEsh gare^, 
 Whycheintheyre houton sprytes® theie handevysed, 
 
 Whanne thee theie ken^ wythepoynteP° in thie honde, 
 
 Enroned" lyche anlace^^fell, orlyche a burly-bronde'^» 
 
 III. 
 
 Thomas of Oxenford, whose teeming brayne 
 Three bawsin * rolles of old rhyms historic . 
 
 Ymaken hanne wythe mickle tene * and payne, 
 Nete kennethe^ he of Archaeologie, 
 
 Whoe pyghtes hys knowlachynge* to preve echeohe^ 
 
 Of Rowley's fetive** lynes were penndebieChattertone. 
 
 Hie 
 
 Stanza IL ' Worthy, or glorious. * Wisdom, knowledge, 
 3 Diminished, lessened, or, metaphorically here, in- 
 jured. ' ^ Restored, or redeemed. * Enemies. 
 
 * Give up, or relinquish. ' Rude, or uncivil cause, 
 ' Haughty souls. » See. * ° Pen. « « Brandished. 
 '* Sword. ' J Furious falchion. 
 
 Stanza III. * Big or bulky. * Labour, or sorrow.* ^ No- 
 thing knoweth he. ^ Tortures hij learning, 
 
 * Every one. ^ Elegant. 
 
r ti5 1 
 
 IV. 
 
 Mie tbce, poore Thomas, hie thee to thie celle, 
 Ne mo wythe auntyante vearse astounde^thy wyttej 
 
 Of seemlikeenly* rhym thou nete male spelle. 
 
 For herehaughtree% or prose thoubotte arte fytte: 
 
 Vearse for thie rede'^ is too grete mysteriej 
 
 Ne e*er shalle Loverde^ North* a Canynge proovc to 
 thee* 
 
 V. 
 
 Deane Percy^ albeytte thou bee a Deane, 
 
 O whatte arte thou whanne pheered^ with dygne 
 Deane Mylle? 
 
 Nete botte a groffyle'^ Acolythe' I weene ; 
 
 Inne auntyante barganette'^ lyes alle thie skylle ; 
 
 Deane Percy, Sabalus' will hanne thy soughle, 
 
 Gi^mo thou doest amate^ grete Rowley's yellowe 
 
 roUe. 
 
 Tyrwhytte, 
 
 Stanza IV. * Confound, or astonish, * Beautiful, or deli- 
 cate. 2 Heraldry. * Knowledge, or wisdom, 
 5 Lord. 
 * As this gfeat Minister, either through necessity or choice, 
 
 is apt to make use of a bad reason, instead of a good, here is 
 
 one ready made to his hands for not doing what would have 
 
 done him honour,* 
 
 Stanza V. * Matched, or compared. * Grovelling, or 
 
 mean, ^ Candidate for Deacon's Orders. * Bal- 
 lads, s Xhe Devil. ^ Derogate from, or lessen, 
 
 K2 
 
[ ii6 1 
 
 VL . . 
 
 Tyrwhytte, thoughe clergyonned in Geoffroie'sleare% 
 
 Yette scalle yat learestondc thee in drybblet stedde^: 
 GeofFroie wythe Rowley how maiest thoue comphere ? ^ 
 
 Rowley hanne mottes^ yat ne manne ever redde, 
 Ne couthe bewryenne^ inne anie syngle tyme, 
 Yet reynneythe^ echeone mole', intiewe and swotic 
 ryme^ 
 
 VII. 
 And yerfore, faitour', in ashrewed* houre 
 
 From Rowley's poyntel thou the lode^ dydst take : 
 Bottelo ! our Deane scalle wythe forweltrynge"* fhuir*- 
 
 Thy wytte as pynant® as thie bowke' ymake; 
 And plonce* thee inne Archaeologic mudde, 
 As thou ydreinted^ were in Severne's mokie'°fludde. 
 
 So 
 
 Stanza VI. * Well-instructed in Chaucer's language. 
 ^ Little stead. 3 Compare. ^ Words. * Ex- 
 press, or speak in any single aera of our language. 
 * Runneth, or iloweth. ^ Soft. ^ In modern 
 and sweet versification. 
 
 Stanza VII. * Vagabond. ^ Accursed, or unfortunate. 
 2 Praise, or honour. * Blasting, or burning fury. 
 5 Pining, meagre. ^ Body. ^ Plunge. ® Drenched, 
 ^ Black, or muddy. 
 
[ 117- J 
 
 • • 
 
 VIIL 
 
 So have I seen, in Edinborrowe-towne, 
 
 A ladie faire in wympled paramente* 
 Abbrodden goe*, whanne on her powrethe downe 
 
 A mollock hepe% from opper oryal* sentej 
 Who, whanne shee lookethe on her unswote geare % 
 Han liefer^ ben beshet ' thanne in thilke^, steynct^^ 
 aumere'''. 
 
 IX. 
 
 " Sprytc of mie Graie," theminstrelle* Maisonne cries, 
 " Some cherisaunie* 'tys to mie sadde harte 
 
 <* That thou, whose fetive^ poesie I pryze, 
 ^^ Wythe Pyndarre,kyngeof mynstrellsjlethlen'^ arte: 
 
 •< Elsenowe thie wytte to dernie roin^ han come, 
 
 ** For havynge protoslene grete Rowley's hie renome^, 
 
 " Yette, 
 
 Stanza VIII. * Brest in a princely robe. * Go abroad in 
 the street. 3 a moist, or wet heap, or load. 
 
 ^ Upper chamber-window. ^ Unsweet, or stinking 
 apparel. ^ Had rather. '^ Been shut up, or con- 
 fined still at home. For this ivord^ tee Kersey^ 
 ^ Such. » Stained. *° Robe, or mantle. 
 
 Stanxa IX. * Poet. * Comfort. 3 Elegant. ^ Dead. 
 5 Sad ruin. ^ Been the first to kill or destroy the 
 high fame of Rowley. 
 K3 
 
[ ii8 3 
 
 " ■ • 
 
 f* Yette, giff* thou sojourned in this earthly vale, 
 *' Johnson atte thee had broched* no neder^ stynge j 
 
 5* Hee, era vent*, the ystorven ^ dothe assay le, 
 *' Butte atte the quyck^ ne dares hys venomeflynge; 
 
 ^^ Quyck or ystorven, gifF I kenne aryghte, 
 
 *^ Ne Johnson, ne Peane jVEyUe, shalle e'^r agrose^ 
 ^* thie spryte." 
 
 XI. 
 
 Butte, minstrelle Maisonne, blyn'^ thie chyrckeyng<s 
 dynne*j 
 On thee scalle bebewrecked ^ grete Rowley's wronge; 
 Thou wy the thie compheeie"^ Graiedydde fprst begynn^ 
 
 To speke inne deignous denwere* offehys songe. 
 And, wythe enstroted^ Warpooi*, deemed hys laies 
 Freshe as newe rhyms ydropte inne ladie Mylier's vase, 
 
 Oh 
 
 Sltanza X. a If. * Pointed. 3 Adder. '♦Coward. 
 5 The dead. ^ The living. ' Grieve, or trouble, 
 
 Stanza XL ^ Cease. * Disagreeable noise, or prate. 3 Re. 
 venged. * Associate, or companion. ' Disdain- 
 ful, or contemptuous doubt. * Deserving of pu- 
 nishment. 
 
 * So Mrs. Newton, Chatterton's sister, spells Mr. Walpole's 
 name; I therefore have adopted her mode of orthography, as 
 more Archaeological. 
 
. [ ^19 3 
 XII. 
 
 Oh Warpool, ne dydde thatte borne ' vase conteyn^ 
 
 Thllke swotie* excremente of poete's leare^; 
 Encaled"* was thie hearte as carnes^ ybene, 
 
 Soe to asterte^hys sweft-kerved scryvennere' : 
 Tky synne doe Loverde^ Advocate's surpasse, 
 .Starvation bee thou nempte% thou broder" of Dun- 
 dasse, 
 
 XIIL 
 Enough of thilke adrames% and strains like these. 
 
 Speckled wythe uncouth words like leopard's skin.^ 
 Yet bright as Avon gliding o'er her mees. 
 
 And soft as ermine robe that wraps a king ; 
 Here, fursteof wiseggers% I quit thy gloss. 
 Nor more with Gothic terms my modern lays emboss. 
 
 For 
 
 Stanza XII. ^ Burnished, or polished. * Such sweet, or 
 delicate. 3 Learning. ^ Cold, or frozen. ^ Stones, 
 or rocks. *» Neglect. ? Short-lived transcriber. 
 « Lord. 9 Called. ^o Brother. 
 
 Stanza XIII. * Such churls, or rather dreamers. * Philoso- 
 pher, but here put for a person skilled in antient 
 learning, funte of Wiseggers being synonymous to 
 Tresident of the Antiquarian Society, They are not to 
 be regarded, who derive the contemptuous term 
 Wiseacrg from this radix. 
 K4 
 
C 120 ] : 
 
 XIV, 
 
 For vearse lyche thysse been as a puddynge fayre. 
 At Hocktyde* feaste by gouler* cooke besprente . 
 
 Wythe scanty plumbes, yat shemmer ^ heere and there. 
 Like estells^ in the eve-merk* fermamente, 
 
 So that a schoolboie maie with plaie, not paine, 
 
 Pycke echeone^ plumbe awaie, and leave the pud- 
 dynge playne. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Yet still each line shall flow as sweet and clear. 
 
 As Rowley's self had writ them in his roll; 
 So they, perchance, may sooth thy sapient ear. 
 
 If aught but obsolete can touch thy soul ; 
 Polish'd so pure by my pqetic hand. 
 That kings themselves may read, and courtiers 
 understand. 
 
 O mighty 
 
 iSTANZA XIV. * Shrovetide, or any tide Mr. Bryant pleases, 
 who has written most copiously on the term, and 
 almost settled its precise meaning. ^Stingy, or 
 covetous. 3 Glimmer. -♦ Stars, from the French. 
 * Pusky, * Every. 
 
[ X2I 3 
 
 XVL 
 
 O mighty Milles ! who o'er the realms of sense 
 Hast spread that murky antiquarian cloud. 
 
 Which blots out truth, eclipses evidence. 
 
 And taste and judgment veils in sable shroud s 
 
 Which makes a beardless boy a monkish priest, 
 
 Makes Homer string his lyre, and Milton ape his jest.* 
 
 xvn. 
 
 pxpand that cloud still broader, wond'rous Dean! 
 
 In pity to thy poor Britannia's fate j 
 Spread it her past and present state between. 
 
 Hide from her memory that she e'er was great. 
 
 That 
 
 * The reverend Editor proves, in his manner, that number- 
 less passages, in the Battle of Hastings, are not only bo- rowed 
 from the original Greek of Homer, but also greatly improved. 
 In the same way he has, with peculiar sagacity, found out, 
 '* that the ^ra-y^ Milton, in his Penseroso, amused h'xmsdf by 
 reflecting on the buskin* d\2\Q of Chaucer in the^e lines: 
 
 Or call up him that left half-told 
 
 The story of Cambuscan bold. 
 Just as Rowley had reflected on him before for not finishing his 
 stories.'* See note on the Epistle to Mastre Canynge, p. 167. 
 
 O ye venerable Society of Antiquaries, whatever ye in your 
 wisdom shall think fit to do with the rest of your President's 
 notes, inscribe this, I beseech you, in letters of gold over your 
 new chimney-piece at Somerset House. 
 
[ 122 ]] 
 
 That e*er her trident aw'd the subject sea, ' 
 
 Or e'er bid Gallia bow the proud reluctant knee. 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 Tell her, for thou hast more than Mulgrave'^ wit. 
 That France has long her naval strength surpast. 
 
 That Sandwich and Germaine alone are £t 
 To shield her from the desolating blast ; 
 
 And prove the fact, as Rowley's being, clear, 
 
 That loans on loans and loans her empty purse will 
 bear, 
 
 XIX. 
 
 Bid all her lords, obsequious to command. 
 As- lords that bed befit a land like this. 
 
 Take valiant Viscount Sackville by the hand. 
 Bid Bishops greet him with a holy kiss. 
 
 For forming plans to quell the rebel-tribe, 
 
 VVhose execution foil'd all bravery, and all bribe. 
 
 XX. 
 
 Teach her, two British armies both subdued* 
 That still the free American will yields 
 
 Like 
 
£ J23 ] 
 
 Like Macbeth's Witch, bid her " Spill much more 
 blood," 
 And stain with brethren's gore the flooded field j 
 Nor sheath the sword, till o'er one little isle 
 In snug domestic pomp her king shall reign and smile* 
 
 XXL 
 
 So from a DeanVy " rising in thy trade,** 
 
 And pufF*d with lawn by Byshoppe^millanerc% 
 
 Ev'n glommed* York, of thy amede' afraid. 
 
 At Lollard's Tower"^ with spyryng^ eye shall peers 
 
 Where thou, like Ella's spryte, shalt glare on high. 
 
 The triple crown to seize, if old Cornwallis die. 
 
 SxAN^i^ XXI. ' Byshoppe-millanere-^the word is formed 
 from horse-millanere, and means the robe-maker, 
 or semstress, of the lords spiritual. ^ Sullen, cloudy, 
 or dejected. ? Reward, or preferment. * The 
 highest tower in the palace of Lambeth. * As- 
 piring, or ambitious. 
 
 All readers of true classical taste will, I trust, applaud thia 
 concluding stanza, which returns to the style in which the 
 epistle began, in judicious subserviency to the rule of Horaces 
 — . > Serveturad imum 
 
 Qualis ab incepto processerit, & sibi constet. 
 
[ 125 ] 
 
 / 
 
 AN 
 
 EPISTLE 
 
 FROM 
 
 OBEREA, QUEEN OF OTAHEITE. 
 
 TO 
 
 JOSEPH BANKS, Esq. 
 
 j[Nowthe Rt. Hon. Sir Joseph Banks, Bart. K. B. P. C. 
 
 President of the Royal Society, &c. &c. &c.) 
 
 Translated hy T. Q. Z. Esq. 
 
 Professor of the Otaheite Language in Dublin, and of all the 
 Languages of the undiscovered Islands in the South Sea. 
 
 Enriched with historical and explanatory Notes, 
 
 Published originally in the year 1774. 
 
[ 127 ] 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 X H E Editor of the following Epistle has only to inform 
 the Public, that he has translated it with all the fidelity 
 which the different idioms of the two languages will ad- 
 mit of. He is sensible that it is impossible in English to 
 convey any idea of the beauties of the Otaheite tongue- 
 It abounds with dipthongs and tripthongs, and every word 
 of it begins with a vowel. Upon this account it is infi- 
 nitely harmonious, to which if we add the beauty and 
 sublimity of its metaphors, we shall only do it justice if 
 we pronounce it to be one of the noblest languages which 
 has ever been spoken since the confusion of tongues. 
 
 The Editor is in hopes that this little specimen will 
 excite the curious to the study of it; and he takes this 
 opportunity of informing them, that he is going to facilitate 
 their labours by the publication of a compleat Grammar and 
 Dictionary. This work will be printed on the same paper, 
 and with the same letter as Doctor Hawkes worth's cele- 
 brated Voyages, and will be ready to be delivered next 
 Spring for the moderate price of three guineas. It will be 
 highly useful to such gentlemen as propose to visit the South 
 Seas, and to make the Grand Tour. * 
 
 Dublin^ Sept. 20th, 1773. 
 
 * If the impression of this work shall not be sold so€oon as 
 the Author flatters himself it will, he engages to publish it ia 
 weekly nilmbers, at one shilling each. 
 
[ 129 ] 
 
 »i • ■ ■ • i»«*B« ca— q i III I ■» w I- ] I 1 f ' II ■ ! 1 1 1. -HP .* I. . I w ■»><.«■ pt i m.F- i l u ll ,.* 
 
 m^m^^mmmmmmaamti v i jf r i m. i n < ■■ ,■■ ■ , , r i - ' , . -imi , ^n i m ii mi 
 
 AN 
 
 EPISTLE, 
 
 Read, or oh ! say does some more amorous fair 
 
 Prevent O/iano {a), and engage his care ? 
 
 I Oherea[b)y from the southern main, 
 
 Of slighted vows, of injur'd faith complain. 
 
 Though now some European maid you woo. 
 
 Of waist (r) more taper, and of whiter hue; 
 
 Yet oft (J) with me you deign'd the night to pass, 
 
 Beneath yon bread-tree on the bending grass. 
 
 Oft 
 
 (a) The people of Otaheite could not pronounce Mr. Banks's 
 name, but called him Opam, 
 
 Perlegis^ an conjux prohihet novay &c. 
 (h) Pegasis Oenone^ Fhygiis celeberrima silvls, 
 
 (c) It appears that Oberea was rather plump and round, and 
 not of the faireft complexion. See HawkesnxjoriJi*s Voyages^ 
 (</) Sape greges inter requievlmus arbore tectiy 
 
 Mistaque cumfoliisprahuit herha torum^ 
 Sapg super strameny &c. 
 I* 
 
C 130 ] 
 
 Oft in the reeking boat we fondly lay. 
 
 Nor fear'd the drizly wind, nor briny spray. 
 
 Who(^) led thee thro* the wood's impervious shade, 
 
 Pierc'd the thick covert, and explor'd the glade ; 
 
 Taught thee each plant that sips the morning dewj, 
 
 And brought the latent minerals to thy view? 
 
 Still to thy glades, those coverts I repair. 
 
 Trace every alley — -but thou art not there. 
 
 Nor (/) herb, nor salutary plant 1 find, 
 
 To cool the burning fever of my mind. 
 
 Ah ! {g) I remember on the river's side. 
 
 Whose babling waters 'twixt the mountains glide, 
 
 A bread-tree stands^ on which with sharpened stone^ 
 
 To thy dear nanie I deign'd unite my own. 
 
 Grow, bread-tree, grow, por envious hand remove 
 
 The sculptur'd symbols of my constant love. 
 
 To 
 
 (e) Quts tihi monstravii saltus venaiibus apos^ 
 
 Et tegeret catulos qua fir a rujie suos ? ~ 
 
 (/) Me miseram f quod amor nsn est medicabilh herhis^ 
 
 Deficior Jirudens artis ab arte med* 
 ^ Pojtuliis est (memini) fiuviali consita r'tjid^ 
 
 Est in qua nostri littera scrijita memor? 
 Pojiuk 'vi've Jirecor^ &c« 
 
[ 131 ] 
 
 To the vast (k) main a rock projecting lies. 
 Where tempests howl, and roaring billows rise ; 
 There first at eve thy opening sails I spy'd. 
 And eager glow'd to cleave the briny tide. 
 My faithful senate sat in wise debate. 
 And weigh'd the dubious interests of the state. 
 Though some with brandished lance for war declare. 
 With all the frantic signs of wild despair ; 
 Yet I more soft to gentle peace inclin'd#, 
 And sooth'd the terrors of Tupia's (/) mind. 
 Send them, I cry'd, twice twelve delicious dogs, 
 And give them cocoas, women, bread, and hogs, 
 
 'Twas 
 
 (y5) The South Sea. 
 
 Jsjitcit immensum moles natlva profundum^ 
 
 Monsfuit^ aquoreis ilia resistit aquis» 
 lllic vela tua cognovi prima carina^ 
 Et mihi Jier fiuctus impetus ire fecit » 
 
 (/) Tupia was Prime Minister to Oberea. She consented 
 that he should come to England with Mr. Banks, and thereby 
 gave the strongest proof of her attachment to that gentleman. 
 Unfortunately this great politician and philosopher died on the 
 voyage. Luctuosum hoc suis ; acerbum patria ; grave bonis omnibus^ 
 Cic, 
 
C 13a ] 
 
 Twas morn, the gallant vessel steers to land ^ 
 On the moist beach the marshaird sailors stand | 
 Then first the pangs of conscious love I knew. 
 My eyes, my longing soul was fixt on you : 
 To gain thy love I practis'd every art. 
 And gave my kingdom as I gave my heart. 
 Alas ! what streams of scalding tears I shed. 
 When you surprised (k) Obadee in my bed ; 
 From {/) my chafF'd temples strait my locks I twitch^ 
 And with the prickly shell tataow my breech. 
 
 In the soft dance if e'er I chance to move, 
 How throbb'd thy bosom with impatient love! 
 Now slow I saird, and stole my easy way 
 With sweet, reluctant, amorous delay; 
 Then (m) in brisk circles glanc*d around, and beat 
 The measur'd cadence with my quivering feet; 
 
 My 
 
 (y|) On the 29tb, not very early in the afternoon, Mr. Banks 
 went to pay his court to Oberea, and was told that she was still 
 asleep under the awning of her boat. Thither he went, and 
 upon looking into her chamber, he found her in bed with a 
 handsome young fellow about twenty- five, whose name wa$ 
 Obadee. Hanvkes. Foyages. 
 
 (/) Turn vero rujvque sinus y et ftectora planxt^ 
 
 Et secui madidas ungue rigente genas, 
 im) Tunc te Jilus soUto lascivia nostajuvahatf 
 
 Crebraque mobilitas^ ajitaq^ue verba jocQ^ 
 
[ 133 3 
 
 My eyes refulgent beam'd with wanton fire^' 
 And all my limbs were brac'd by fierce desire,' 
 Not Hclla's self, with all her curious ^^j. 
 Her Rigadoons and motley Entre-chas^ 
 With such luxuriant grace displays her thighj 
 Or temeredes [n) with such ease as L 
 
 Oft on thy lips, those lips of love, I hung. 
 To hear thee greet me in my native tongue; 
 Meetee atira (o), sweetly you exprest, 
 Your eyes all-eloquent explain'd the rest. 
 Say, fondest youth, canst thoU forget the night, 
 When starting from your sleep in wild affright ; 
 Rise Obereay rise my Queen, you said. 
 Some thief (//) has stol'n my breeches from my head* 
 
 Sorrowing 
 
 («) The Temeredee is the lascivious dance. See Ha^wkes* 
 'Worth's Voyages, 
 
 I had some difficulty to find out who Oberea meant by Hella, 
 but an ingenious friend and critic suggested to me that it must 
 be Mademoiselle Heinel, whose skilJ and fame we may suppose 
 were highly exaggerated to Oberea by Mons. Bougainville. 
 
 (o) Jnglice^ Come here to kiss me^-^See the Vocabulary of 
 the Otaheite language, which may serve till my Dictionary is 
 published. 
 
 (/) Upon their visit to Tootahahj Mr, Banks thought him- 
 
[ 134 ] 
 
 Sorrowing (^) I went beside the billowy main, 
 Search'd the long-winding coast, but searched in vain t 
 My choicest garment strait I shar'd with you. 
 And fondly cloath'd you with my own Perou (r). 
 
 Nor strove not other suitors to impart, 
 A mutual passion to my royal heart ; 
 My neck, my jetty eye-brows charm'd Teetee[s\ 
 And Otapairoo pink'd his bum for me : 
 Their tears, their warmest vows could ne'er prevail, 
 Nor gift of chequer'd beads, nor profFer'd naih 
 To these fond hands, when first we went to view 
 The magic wonders of thy vast canoe ; 
 A curious (/) image did Opano give. 
 Whose eye-balls glisten'd, and which seem'd to live : 
 
 ^ With 
 
 self fortunate in being placed by Oberea in her canoe. She 
 insisted upon taking his cloaths into her custody. Awaking 
 about eleven he found they were stolen, upon which he awak- 
 ened Oberea, who starting up and hearing his complaint, or- 
 dered lights, and prepared in great haste to recover what he 
 had lost. In the morning Oberea brought him some of her 
 country cloaths. 
 
 (r) Perou signifies a petticoat in the Otaheite tongue. 
 
 Egue tuis demptos humeris mihi tradis amictus. 
 (s) ' ' -' ■■ —•'"^ ■ ■ II-— —> desjiectus Irahas 
 
 Ductoresque alii • 
 (/) I received her (Oberea) with such marki of distinction, 
 
 as 
 
With this I talk beneath the .plaintain shade. 
 As tho' it heard, and answer'd what I saidj 
 in amorous dalHance place it on my knee. 
 And lavish all the raptures due to thee. 
 
 Oft to my eyes the well-known scenes appear. 
 Which image all that past when thou wast near. 
 Here Terbfioa [n)^ wretched widow, stood. 
 And ting'd the ocean with her livid blood ; 
 if hrice with the shark's sharp tooth she piere'd her 
 
 head, 
 Exclaimed Tehai (i;), arid in triumpli bled. 
 
 There 
 
 as I thought tvould gratify hei- rhost, arid was not sparing of my 
 presents, among which this august Personage seemed particularly 
 delighted with a child's doll. /^ol. II, p. io6i 
 
 //// blanditias^ illi tihi debita fverbay 
 
 Dicimus, amjilcxus accip.it ilia meos ; 
 Hanc sjieito tevecque sitiu Jiro conjuge vero^ 
 
 Et tanquam Jtossit nferba referre^ queror. 
 Crtde mihi jilus est^ quatn quod vidtatur^ Imago^ 
 Adde sonum ceree^ Protesilaus erit, 
 («) Tibotay Tumaidas wife, 
 
 {v) An Exclamation of grief which signifies, 'w^ere is lie! 
 Early in the morning on the 28th, a great number of won^en 
 came down to the fort, and Teropoa being observed among 
 them on the outside of the gate, Mr. Banks went out and 
 
 L 4 broueht 
 
C 136 J 
 
 There to yon plaintain Oorattoa{w) came^ 
 
 And paid just honours to Ojiano>s name ; 
 
 Three scarlet robes her tall attendants bore. 
 
 And gently spread .them on the winding shores 
 
 Graceful she mov'd, and with majestic ease, 
 
 Puird up her petticoats above her knees. 
 
 Then thrice turn'd round with measur'd steps and slow? 
 
 Proud the curv'd {u) arches of her bum to shew. 
 
 Here 
 
 brought her in. He saw that the tears stood in her eyes, and 
 as soon as she entered they began to flow in great abundance. 
 He enquired earnestly the cause, but instead of answering, she 
 took from under her garment a shark's tooth, and struck it six 
 or seven times into her head with great force. Fol. IL p. 104* 
 
 {w) Friday 12th of May was distinguished by a visit from 
 some ladies. Having laid some pieces of cloth on the ground, 
 the foremost of the women, who appeared to be principal, and 
 who was called Oorattoa, stepped upon them, and taking up 
 her garments all round her to the waist, turned about three 
 times with great composure and deliberation. When this was 
 done she dropped the veil, and stepping off the cloth, three 
 pieces more were laid, and she repeated the ceremony. The 
 three last were laid, and the ceremony was repeated the same 
 manner the third time. Fol. II. p. is^. 
 
 {x) The part on which these ornaments are lavished is the 
 breech; this in both sexes is covered with a deep black, above 
 which arches are drawn one over another. These arches are 
 their pride^ and are shewn [with great ostentation. iiawh» 
 
C ^37 3 
 
 Here TirahaoW'diea{y) dar*d to prove,' 
 The impetuous transports of Toojiuah's love 2 
 Scarce twelve short years the wanton maid had seen. 
 The youth was six foot high, or mare I ween ; 
 Experienced matrons the young pair survey'd. 
 And urg'd to feats of love the self-taught maid| 
 With skill superior she performed her part. 
 And potent nature scorn'd the tricks of art* 
 
 Curst be the envious gales that wafted o'er 
 Those floating wigwams to our peaceful shore; 
 
 With 
 
 {y) A young man near six feet high performed the rites of 
 Venus with a little girl about eleven or twelve, before several of 
 our people and a great number of the natives* Among the na- 
 tives were several women of superior rank, particularly Oberea, 
 who may properly be said to have assisted at the ceremony. 
 For they gave instructions to the girl how to perform her part, 
 which young as she was she did not seem much to stand ia need 
 of. Fol. II. p. 12. 
 
 Blanda truces animos fertur mollisse <volu/itas^ 
 
 Constiterant unofcemina, 'oirque loco. 
 Quid facereni ijisi r.ullo didicere magistro. 
 Arte Venus nulla dulce Jieregit ojius. 
 The translator intended to have suppressed all passages of this 
 nature, which might offend the chaste ear of a British reader* 
 But as Doctor Hawkesworth*s very luscious descriptions have 
 been considered rather as sallies of his prurient imagination, 
 than the transactions of real life, he thought it a piece of justice 
 due to that great man to authenticate his narrative* 
 
With specious gifts a crew insidious came, - ^ 
 
 And left us hitter pledges {%) of their flame. » ] 
 
 'Till then was nature free and love sincere, 
 Nor generous passion quench'd by slavish fear f 
 No pining maiden knew the vcnom'd kiss,. 
 But all was genuine extacy and bllss^ 
 
 Oft have I wished, for such you love, that I 
 Were metamorphos'd to some curious fly j 
 Beyond the mair^ Fd speed my eager way,:' 
 And buz around you all the live-long day. 
 Nor would I not be some umbrageous tree. 
 That shades thy grot, and vegetate for thee^^ 
 At thy approach Td all my flowers expand. 
 And weave my wanton foliage round thy hand* 
 
 Think [h] not I covet what you riches cally 
 Your houses, land, estates — I scorn them all, 
 
 I crave 
 
 {%) 1 suppose this alludes to the introduction of the venereal 
 disease among them by Mons. Bougainville, which they tm^ 
 phatically call the Rottenness. See Hatvkes'worth's Voyages* 
 
 ) — — ' ' '■ arOs ysvotfjioiv 
 
 A ^oix^Evcra, lAB'kioaa.f xu\ s; teov avrpov IxotfAav* ThEOC? 
 
 (i) Non ego miror ojiesy iiec me tua regia tangit. 
 
[ 139 ] 
 
 I crave (r) no jointure of five hundred skins. 
 Nor twice as many pounds to buy my pins| 
 Nor yet shall I the tardy fates reproach. 
 Pant for the lozenge on my lacker'd coach. 
 Or waste the produce of your doating will. 
 At sordid Loo, or Dowager Quadrille 
 
 With you, thrice dear Ojiano^ oft I lay. 
 Within the wigwam 'till the dawn of day; 
 Then from my pack, with anxious care, for you, 
 Chose the best dog, and stew'd the nice ragout. 
 Ah ! how I strove thy curious taste to hit. 
 From the bak'd viands carv'd the brownest bit; 
 To grace thy table spread my finest smocks. 
 And pour'd the fragrant Monoe [d) o'er thy locks. 
 For thee each morn I cull'd the bread tree's fruit. 
 And with [e) my nostrils blew the dulcet flute. 
 
 Thrice 
 
 (f) It is surprising that Oberea should be so well acquainted 
 with the manners of Great Britian; but as she appears to have 
 had such fine parts, we may easily imagine that she did not fail 
 to profit by her frequent conversations with Mr. Banks. 
 
 {d) The people of Otaheite have a custom of anointing their 
 heads with what they call Monoe, which is an oil expressed 
 from the cocoa nut, 
 
 {/) It appears that music is cultivated in Otaheite to no small 
 
 degree 
 
t HO ] 
 Thrice happy youth ! what bliss with thine cotlld vte^ 
 To feed on dog's flesh, and with Queens to lie ! 
 
 Parting (/) you wept, this truth at least you*ll owiti 
 Nor think that weakness, which was love alone. 
 Stedfast I gaz*d, till from my aching view. 
 Your lessening canvass gradually withdrew j 
 Then to my tent I ran in wild despair. 
 And e'en in dreams- renew'd my anxious care* 
 Whene'er I strove my slumbering eyes to closej 
 Terrific phantoms, dread illusions, rose ; 
 Now o'er the waters I appear'd to float, 
 And fondly clasp you in the crazy (g) boat 5 
 Culling (/^) choice simples, now I seem'd to go. 
 O'er barren wastes, a wilderness of woe ! 
 
 Wherever 
 
 degree of perfection. Indeed this method of blowing the flute 
 with the nostrils is admirably calculated for the chromatic. We 
 have heard, with great pleasure, that the ingenious Dr. Burncy 
 intends to take a voyage to the South Sea to inform himself, 
 and afterwards to give some account to the public, of the atate 
 of music in those parts. 
 
 {/) Flesti discedens^ hoc saltern pane negate^ 
 
 {^) Geniuit sub pmdtre cymba 
 Sutilis 
 
 (^ Semper longam incomitata *ifidetur 
 
 Ireviam^ ^ 
 
[ t4t 3 
 
 Where'er I turn'd the dread Morals (/) appearM, 
 And the wild shrieks of frantic grief were heard. 
 At length you beckon, and I leave the shore. 
 Then tempests 'gan to rage, and winds to roar; 
 The billowy surges seem'd to lash the skies, 
 And Otakeite vanished from my eyes. 
 
 Perhaps Ofiano^ {k) (be the omen vain !) 
 
 If ere thy ships shall reach these shores again. 
 
 You'll seek the wigwam where we fondly lay. 
 
 And in its place will find my sad Moral: 
 
 Yet think at least my copious tears (/) you sec. 
 
 And spare one thought from Botany for me. 
 
 And 
 
 (/) The sepulchres of the people of Otaheite are called Morah^ 
 See Hawhs. Voyages. 
 
 {k) Temp.0 verra amor for SB 
 
 Ch' air usato soggiorno 
 
 Torni lafera^ bella e mansueia; 
 
 E la^ Of* ella mi scorse 
 
 Nel bemdettu giorno^ 
 
 Volga la njista desiosa e lietH 
 
 Cercandomi : e o Jiieta 
 
 Gia terra infra le hietre 
 
 Vedendo^ amor Vinsjiiri 
 
 In guisa che soshiri 
 
 St dolc^mente. Petrarca. 
 
 {/) The people of Otaheite are remarkable for their /«« 
 
C H* ] 
 
 And when with curious search thine eyes explore 
 The waving forest, or the marshy shore; 
 When in strong gin thy skilful hands shall steep 
 Some unclass'd fowl, or monster of the deep; 
 Think on the raptures which we once have known. 
 And waft one sigh to Otaheite^s throne. 
 
 feelings^ wkich generally produce a copious effusion of tears 
 ppon €v<sry affecting occasion. See Dr, Hawhsworth ^assim^ 
 
 THE ^ND, 
 
t 143 ] 
 
 'THE 
 
 WREATH OF FASHION, 
 
 OR, THE 
 
 ART OF SENTIMENTAL POETRY. 
 
 Demefri, teq, TigeUiy 
 
 Piscijiule^rum inter jubeo Jilorare cathedras, 
 
 HoRACfi. 
 
 y 
 
 By RICHARD TICKELL, Esq. 
 
 Author of the very celebrated Pamphlet called, " Anticipatioij. 
 
 Printed originally in the year 1780. 
 
[ 145 ] 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 Th e following lines were occafioned by the Author*s 
 having lately studied, with infinite attention, several fa- 
 shionable productions in the Sentimental stile; in most of 
 which, a misapplication, not a defect, of talents seems to 
 have betrayed their Authors into some degree of false Taste. 
 For example. A Noble Author has lately published hrs 
 works, which consist of three compositions : One, an Ode 
 upon the death of Mr. Gray: the two others, upon the 
 death of his Lordship's Spaniel, 
 
 But the reigning fashion in modern poesy is Sentimental 
 Panegyric on Married Beauties, This appears in a thou- 
 sand various shapes; from Bouts Rhimees on the woud-ht 
 Sappho of Bath, up to Doggerel Epistles to the lovely 
 Amoret, 
 
 In attempting to ridicule this modish folly, it is scarcely 
 necessary to apologize to the several personages of the Senii- 
 mental train, for introducing their names. When a Poet 
 announces himfelf, and publicly wears his laurels, he is 
 lawful game for the Critics : and it makes no difference, 
 whether his works come from the press, or, according to 
 Sit Benjamin Backbiters system, *• circulate in manuscript" 
 Besides, to canvas the slighter imperjectipns, either of stile 
 or of conduct, seems to be the limit of poetical censure. 
 It is only the desperate Satyrist, whose invenomed pen 
 gtrikes at the character and honour of individuals, that per, 
 
 M verts 
 
[ U6 ] 
 
 verts and disgraces poetry : such aspersions, if well founded, 
 are too gross for the tribunal of the Muses ; and if (as is 
 generally the case) they are utterly false, they recoil not 
 only on the Author, but on the very art itself, which can 
 so easily be perverted to so bad a purpose. But who can be 
 hurt by a critique on his Charades and Rebusses? An im- 
 putation of false taste may not be very pleasant, but it never 
 can seriously offend men of sense and good-breeding : both 
 which qualities, as the Author agrees with all the world in 
 acknowledging his personages to possess in the highest 
 degree, so he requests that not only they, but the few others 
 •who may happen to read his Poem, will acquit him of any 
 intention to give the slightest offence. 
 
[ 147 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 WREATH OF FASHION, 
 
 W HEN first the Muse recorded Beauty's praise 
 In glowing numbers, and enraptured lays, 
 Sweet was the Poet's song; undeck*d by art; 
 For love was Nature, and his theme the heart. 
 At Beauty's shrine how brightly Genius glow'd ! j 
 There, her wild wreaths luxuriant fancy strew'd; 
 Whose flowrets, wak'd by Love's enlivening ray. 
 Scattered with native sweets the artless lay. 
 Such were the strains th' enamour'd Ovid sung; 
 Such the fond lays that flow'dfromPnVs tongue; lo 
 Nor of its best reward was verse beguil'd. 
 When Julia own'd its pow'r, and Chloe smil'd. 
 
 M z Far 
 
I 148 ] 
 
 Far other lays denote the modern Bard : 
 Nor lovQ his theme ; nor Beauty his reward : 
 His temp'rate verse a gentler homage pays, jj 
 
 And sighs serenely for unfeeling praise. 
 
 This purer taste, this philosophic art, 
 (If thou, O Sentiment ! thy aid impart) 
 The Muse shall sing — -attend ye glitt'ring train 
 Of sighing Beaux, nor scorn the votive strain; 2q 
 Tho' harsh the verse, tho' rude the unpolish'd lay^ 
 Soft is the tender science they display, 
 
 First, for true grounds of Sentimental lore. 
 The scenes of modern Comedy explore; 
 Dramatic Homilies ! devout and sage, 2^ 
 
 Stor'd with wise maxims, *^ both for youth and age ;^ 
 Maxims, that scorning their old homely dress. 
 Shift from plain proverbs to spruce sentences. 
 But chief, let Cumberland thy Muse direct. 
 High Priest of all the Tragic-comic sect I ^o 
 
 Mid darts and flames his Lover coolly waits ^ 
 Calm as a Hero, cas'd in Hartlefs plates-, 
 
 Till 
 
C H9 ) 
 
 t 
 
 *T111 damp'd and chill'd by sentimental sigHs, 
 Each stifled passion in a vapotlr dies. 
 
 Hence form thy taste, hence strew thy temp'rat^ 
 lays 
 With moral raptures, and sententious praise. 
 
 Thus skiird, with critic care, thy subject choose, 
 A kindred theme, congenial to thy Muse; 
 No giddy Nymph, of youth and beauty vain. 
 But some fair Stoic, link'd in Hymen's chab, 40 
 Serene and cold ; by wise Indifference led 
 To a rich title, and a — sep'rate bed. 
 Now, sick of vanity, with grandeur cloy'd. 
 She leans on Sentiment, to sooth the void; 
 Deep in Rousseau, her purer thoughts approve 45 
 The Metaphysics of Platonic Love. 
 Thine be the task, with quaint, fantastic phrase. 
 To variegate her unimpassion*d praise. 
 
 Poetic Compliments from Sonnets cull. 
 Harmonious quibbles, logically dull I 5# 
 
 M 3 True 
 
C ^50 1 
 
 True to their age of Paradox, they chime 
 Problems in verse, and sophistry in rhyme. 
 Yet, thro' these lymhecksy Cowley's patient Muse 
 From mimic sighs distilFd Castalian dews; 
 So Spencer toird, to sooth the Royal Maid; 55 
 So hapless Petrarch wept his Laura's shade. 
 
 But hence, tame Precept ! let example lead 
 The modish Poet to his glorious meed : 
 Haste, to the radiant shrine of Fashion, haste ! 
 There form thy genius, there correct thy taste. 60 
 
 And lo 1 the glitt'ring Altar stands confest ! 
 Loose o'er the Goddess floats her motley vest. 
 As Flora, gay, as Iris, wildly bright, 
 Its varying lustre strikes the dazzled sight. 
 Here, Vanity, with flow'rs and feathers crown'd, 65 
 Sports with the Seasons thro' their airy round ; 
 Here, spurious Art and mimic Science pour 
 Whims of a day, and theories of an hour. 
 The Goddess smiles 3 for, lo! even Poets trace 
 Her local charms^ her temporary grace : 70 
 
 Above 
 
f 151 ] 
 
 Above the rest, how fondly she regards 
 Her fav'rite train, the Sentimental Bards! 
 
 On a spruce pedestal o{ Wedgwood ware^ 
 Where motley forms, and tawdry eriiblems glare^ 
 Behold she consecrates to cold applause, 
 A Petrefaction, work*d into a Vase: 
 The Vase of Sentiment ! — -to this impart 
 Thy kindred coldness, and congenial art. 
 Here, (as in humbler scenes, from Cards and Geuti 
 Millar convenes her literary Rout) 
 With votive song, and tributary verse, 
 Fashion's gay train her gentle rites rehearse.- 
 What soft poetic incense breathes around ! 
 What soothing hymns from Adulation sound ! 
 
 Here, placid Carlisle breathes his gentle line, 8^ 
 Or haply, gen'rous Hare, re-echoes thine : 
 Soft flows the lay; as when, with tears, He paid 
 The last sad honours to his— Spaniel's shade ! 
 And lot he grasps the badge of wit, a wandf 
 He waves it thrice, and Storer is at hand; 9© 
 
 M4 ' ■ Famish'd 
 
[ 152 ] 
 Famish*d as penance, as devotion pale, 
 Plaintive, and pert, he murmurs a Love-tale. 
 Fitzpatrick\ Muse waits for some lucky hit; 
 For, still the slave of Chance, he throws at wit : 
 While Townshend his pathetic bow displays, . 95 
 And Princely Boothby silent homage pays. 
 
 With chips of wit, and mutilated lays. 
 See Palmer St on fineer his Bouf^ Rhimees 5 
 Fav'rite of ev'ry Muse, elect of Phoebus, 
 To string Charades, or fabricate a Rebus. 100 
 
 Bereft of such a guide, old Ocean, mourn 
 Thy fading glories, and thy laurels torn I {a) 
 *Twas P aimer st on repell'd each hostile wrong. 
 Like Ariel, wrecking Navies with — a Song; 
 But see, by pitying Fate his loss supplied; 105 
 
 For Mulgr av e ]om?^ where sense and Sandwich gmdc. 
 Mulgrave! whose Muse nor winds nor waves controul. 
 Could bravely pen Acrostics — on the Poky 
 
 Warm 
 
 (fl) Upon Lord Palmerston's appointment to the Treasury, 
 Lord Mulgrave succeeded to his place at the A(1n)iralty Board.--^ 
 ** Mira canam\ Soloccuhu'ti^ nox nulla secuta est ^^' 
 
[ 153 3 
 
 Warm with poetic fire the Northern air. 
 And sooth with tuneful raptures — the great Bear; 
 Join but his poetry to Burgoyne's prose. 
 Armies shall fall asleep, and Pirates doze. 
 So when the rebel-winds on Neptune fell. 
 They sunk to rest, at sound of Triton's shelL 
 
 " \i Placemen thus poetic honours prize, 115 
 
 « Shall I be mute?'' (the laureat Whitehead cries.) 
 " What, if some rival Bard my empire share ! 
 " Yet, yet, I tremble at the name of Clare [b). 
 " Pindar to Clare had yielded — so did I — 
 " Alas, can Poetry with Poplin vie ! 120 
 
 ** Ah me ! if Poets barter for applause, 
 *' How Jerningham will thrive on flimsy gause ! 
 
 " What 
 
 {h) Whoever has read his Lordship's verses, presented to her 
 Majesty, with a gift of Irish Po/ilin, and that too on a New Yearns 
 Day^ will not wonder at the jealousy and apprehension the 
 Laur-at expres^es of so foi midab'c a rival The recollection 
 of the Poplin leads to a digress. on, in the Pindaric stile of all 
 Laureats, on the fatal consequences that might follow from 
 establishing I ord Clare's method of tacking a present to every 
 Poem ; but the Laureat recovers his spirits, by thinking of the 
 last production of his own Muse — the Goat^s Beard — spun from 
 ten lines of Phasdrus, to four hundred of Whitehead, 
 
[ ^54 ] 
 
 *< What tatter'd tinsel Luttrell will display ! 
 
 " Carmarthen, sat tin— Carlisle, paduasoy! 
 
 " Garrick will follow his old remnant trade ; 125 
 
 ** He'll buy my place with Jubilee-brocade. 
 
 ** While Anstey, the reversion to obtain, 
 
 ** Vamps his Bath drugget, till he spoils the grain. 
 
 ** Perish the thought 1 hence visionary fear ! 
 
 «* Phoebus, or Ph^drus, shall old Whitehead cheer, 
 
 ** Behold their nobler gift : be this preferred!" 
 
 He said ; and proudly brand ish'd the Goat's beardy 
 
 Then dropt it in the Vase : immersed it falls 
 
 Mid Sonnets, Odes, Acrostics, Madrigals; 
 
 A motley heap of metaphoric sighs, 135 
 
 Laborious griefs, and studied extasies. 
 
 Yet hence how warm each tuneful Suppliant's claim t 
 
 What palpitations for his mite of fame ! 
 
 Alas ! regardless of their equal toils. 
 
 Fashion still wildly scatters random smiles ; 14a 
 
 And Colman may (if Billy Woodfall's by 
 
 To prop him up) attract her vagrant eye. 
 
 Behold, one dunce, by her profound decree. 
 Supreme Dictator of the Coterie : 
 
 Prim, 
 
[ ^55 ] 
 
 Prim, plausible, oracular, anrd sage, " I4j 
 
 The native Texier of the wond*ring age ! 
 
 The solemn coxcomb never talks : his frown 
 
 Is constant obloquy, his smile renown ; 
 
 Words would degrade this literary God j 
 
 He gives his fiat with a silent nod. I^O 
 
 Another's fame more gentle honour, tells 
 Familiar Critic of each bright Ruelle! 
 Soon as the orient beam of Beauty's ray 
 Discloses, just at noon, the dawn of day; 
 And Dev'nshire wakes ! — *^ and Piccadilly's gay;'* 
 Perched at her Grace's toilet, Minim sits, 
 The little Scholiast of the Female Wits, 
 TirM of conjecture, and perplex'd with doubt. 
 To him they fly — to make a riddle out ; 
 To pierce a paragraph's mysterious vail; i6o 
 
 And eke out Scandal's hesitating tale. 
 AVith conscious pride the flippant Witling shares 
 His motley task of miscellaneous cares ; 
 Expounds Charades^ thro' close detraction pryes. 
 Construes initials, and the blanks supplies. 165 
 
 And 
 
t 156 ] 
 
 And oft, with varied art, his thoughts digress 
 On deeper themes — the documents of dress: 
 With nice discernment, to each stile of face 
 Adapt a ribbon, or suggest a lace, 
 0*er Granby's cap bid loftier feathers float, i ya 
 And add new bows to Devon's petticoat. 
 
 Others, resolv'd more ample fame to boast. 
 Plant their own laurels in the Morning Post j 
 Soft Evening dews refresh the tender green : 
 Pass but a month, it swells each Magazine ; 175 
 'Till the luxuriant boughs so wildly shoot. 
 The Annual Register transplants the root. 
 But these are spurious honours, not the true. 
 Who shall obtain The Wreath of Fashion — who ? 
 
 The wily Charles long flourlsh'd o'er the rest; 
 Expert to argue or to flatter best ; 
 For, born a disputant, a sophist bred. 
 His nurse he silenc'd, and his tutor led % 
 But hail'd, with filial duty's pious sense, 
 JHis Sire's best gift — delusive Eloquence. 
 
 That 
 
[ '57 ] 
 That art to cherish, with a lavish pride 
 His kindred Genius ev'ry pow'r supplied : 
 Persuasion's breath, to swell the Statesman's sail; 
 Or, if his fancy veer, retard the gale. 
 Soft words, to mollify the Miser's breast, i^o 
 
 And lull relenting Usury to rest ; 
 Bright beams of wit, to still the raging Jew; 
 His blackening mists dissolve to golden dew. 
 Teach him to dun no more, and lend anew ! 
 
 Here, Charles his native eloquence refin'd-, 195 
 Pleas'd at the Toilet, in the Senate shin'd, 
 And North approvM, and Amoret look'd kind ; 
 'Till, fond too soon his selfish pride to trace, 
 He lost at once his laurels and— his place. 
 
 At Fashion's shrine, behold a gentler Bard, 2*00 
 Gaze on the mystic Vase with fond regard : 
 But see, Thalia checks the doubtful thought. 
 ** Can'st thou (she cries) with sense, with genius fraught, 
 *' Can'st thou to Fashion's tyranny submit, 
 *' Secure in native, independent wit ? 205 
 
 ^' Or yield to Sentiment's insipid rule, 
 ^^ By Taste, by Fancy, chac'd thro' ScandaTs School f 
 
 '^ Ah, 
 
[ ^58 3 
 
 '^ Ah, no ! be Sheridan's the comic page ; 
 " Or let me fly with Garrick from the Stage, 
 
 » 
 
 Haste then, my Friend, (for let me boast that name) 
 Haste to the op'ning path of genuine Fame : 
 Or, if thy IMuse a gentler theme pursue. 
 Ah, 'tis to Love, and thy Eliza, duel 
 For sure the sweetest lay she well may claim. 
 Whose soul^breathes harmony o*erall her frame; 215 
 While wedded Love, with ray serenely clear. 
 Beams from her eye, as from its proper sphere. 
 
 But thou, for whom the Muse first tun*d the lyre, 
 Vot'ry of Sentiment, do thou aspire. 
 With studious toil, to win that bright reward, 220 
 The Wreath of Fashion for her chosen Bard. 
 Not rudely wove with Nature*s short-liv'd store, 
 (The simple meed her humble Poet wore) 
 But spruce and trim, as suits thy kindred pow'rs. 
 With mimic buds, and artificial flowVs, 225 
 
 Blest Wreath ! whose flowrets dread no vulgar doom 
 Of fading hues, or transitory bloom ; 
 
 Above 
 
[ 159 ] 
 
 Above the fleeting pride of Flora's day. 
 
 Thy vivid foliage never can decay ! 
 
 There, vi'lets, pinks, and lilies of the vale, 230 
 
 Despise the sultry beam, or chilly gale ; 
 
 There, fix'd as Archer's rouge, the mimic rose. 
 
 With persevering blush, for ever glows ; 
 
 There, myrtles bloom, that shame the Cyprian fields; 
 
 There, bays, immortal as Parnassus yields. 235 
 
 Triumphant art ! Let vanquished nature mourn 
 Her lost simplicity, o'er Shenstone's urn : 
 With sympathetic sorrows, on his tomb 
 Let the pale primrose shed its wild perfume; 
 The cowslip droop its head ; and all around 240 
 The with'ring violet strew the hallow'd ground ; 
 For, mute the swain, and cold the hand, that wove 
 Their simple sweets to wreaths of artless love : 
 Simplicity with Shenstone died ! — 
 
 THE END. 
 
 AN 
 
C i6i ] 
 
 AN EPISTLE IN VERSE 
 
 TO THE 
 
 REV. DR. RANDOLPH, 
 
 ENGLISH PRECEPTOR TO 
 
 II. R. H. THE PRINCESS OF WALES, 
 
 OCCASIONED BY THE 
 
 1»UBLICATI0N OF THE CORRESPONDENCE 
 
 BETWEEN THE 
 
 EARL AND COUNTESS OF JERSEY, 
 
 and tbe Vottov, 
 
 UPON THE SUBJECT OF SOME LETTERS BELONGINa 
 
 TO H.R.H. THE PRINCESS OF WALES. 
 
 Enriched and illustrated with Notes and Extracts from the origufial Correspondence. 
 
 gufial Correspondence. 
 
 Ecquid, ut inspecta est studiosae litera dextrae, 
 Protinus est oculis cognita nostra tui§? 
 
 An NISI LEGissEs AuctoHs nomiiia Sapphus, 
 Hoc breve nescires unde movetur opus? 
 
 FlENDUS amor MEUS EST.*-r. 
 
 Sappho to Phaok. 
 
 First published in 1796, 
 
 N 
 
[ i63 ] 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT, 
 
 ix VERY few words will be sufficient to introduce my 
 Epistle. It is an " ex noto jictum carmen,'' or a Poetical 
 Composition formed upon a welUknown story, according 
 to the advice of the best critics. In the conduct of it, there 
 was no necessity to hurry the reader into the midst oj 
 things, as though they were known; for the things, from 
 the beginning to the end, are already actually known. Nor 
 had I any occasion to hasten to the event, as the event is 
 notorious to the whole nation, and is anticipated in such a 
 manner, as to prevent any discovery. In regard to my 
 Reverend Hero, the qualities which originally recom- 
 mended him at Carlton House, have endeared him in my 
 eyes. He appears, by his letters, to be a perfect pattern of 
 conjugal affection, and a model of ^ c/^^r, easy, unaffected^ 
 and simple style of writing. I have only to regret, that 
 Dr. Randolph never published an account of his tour in 
 Germany, as I think many parts of it would have appeared 
 to great advantage in my poetry. 
 
 Reader, farewel; -a^x^ enjoy my Epistle! 
 
 JULY 24, 1796. 
 
 N % 
 
[ i65 ] 
 
 AN EPISTLE IN VERSE 
 
 TO 
 
 THE REV. DR. RANDOLPH, 
 
 ENGLISH PRECEPTOR 
 TO H. R. H. THE PRINCESS OF WALES, 
 
 1 
 
 Jr OND [a] Sir! tho' now, in these degenerate days. 
 Few brows are circled with a poet's bays. 
 Yet still no lyre's unstrung, no voice is mute. 
 To war's rough breathings, or JSolia*s lute; 
 From fam'd Macgregor, whose heroic strain 5 
 
 Confirm'd Sir William in his Chinese reign. 
 
 To 
 
 {a) Fond. — This word Is not used In the sense of Shakspeare's 
 Lear, " 1 am a very foolish, fcnJ old man; nor as Roger 
 Ascham, Greek Preceptor to Queen Elizabeth, says, " He was 
 ** beaten out of all love of learning by a/<j»^ schoolmaster:" — • 
 but it is here used to express Dr. Randolph's unremitting con- 
 jugal tenderness, wWizhjiants and bleats in almost every line o£ 
 his affectionate writings. 
 
 N3 
 
I i66 ] 
 
 To Him who, in his serious hour of prime. 
 
 For Kien built the bold imperial rhyme, 
 
 And smil'd, when Pitt disdain'd the palanquin^ 
 
 The dusky nymph, and love-lorn Mandarin, [b) lo 
 
 And who shall now of barren themes complain. 
 
 When Jersey writes, and Randolph will ex/i/airi f 
 
 Though Rome, bereft of all her classic store^ 
 With Mantua mourns her Virgil, now no more, 
 And cloven-footed Pan, again in scorn, [c) 15 
 
 To Buonaparte lends his pagan horn. 
 
 Still, 
 
 (^) See, lately published, *« The Imperial Epistle from Kien 
 ^ Long, Emperor of China, to George the Third, K. of G, Bri- 
 " tain, transmitted from the Emperor in 1794, by the Ambassa- 
 <* dor, the Right Hon. George Earl Macartney, and translated 
 ** into English Verse, from the original Chinese." I allude to 
 the visionary view (drawn by the Emperor in his highest- co- 
 louring) of the Right Hon. William Pitt's triumphal entry into 
 the court of Pekin; which description had no charms to allure 
 Mr. Pitt from his situation in England. Mr. Pitt even resisted 
 a private letter, in the Emperor's own hand-writing in Chi- 
 nese, inviting him tf» accept the office of Su/ireme Choulah^ a 
 sort of Vice-Emperor over, as I am told, near three hundred 
 million of subjects, in that vast empire. But 1 know not bow- 
 it is, this little island, wi|h all its embarrassments, has still some 
 charms for a Prime Minister. JuUUfn et tenacem jirojioiiii virum-^" 
 we all know the rest. 
 
 (r) *^ And Pan to Moses lends his pagan horn," Pope, 
 
[ i67 ] 
 
 Still, still, without a faint poetic hope, 
 I claim one sigh for Randolph from the Pope. 
 But how shall I your secret springs explore ? 19 
 
 How match ^6?^r prose, no verse e'er match'd before? 
 
 Wondrous fond man ! who could from state retire. 
 At home to fan the chaste connubial fire : 
 For Venus (trembling, should the ocean wave. 
 Her billowy birth-place, prove her Randolph's grave) 
 Taught you, though but occasional the tear^ {cc) 23 
 Which Absence drops in many a show'r sincere. 
 
 Yet 
 
 {cc) If the Reader should be inclined to blame this and the 
 three following lines, as not quite intelligible^ (which however I 
 shall take very unkind, as they were written merely for his 
 amusement) I must shelter myself under the Doctor's cwn prose, 
 the sense of which, as far as I could collect it myself, I have 
 given most faithfully. 
 
 J do not however mean to dissemble, that when an author, 
 like Dr. Randolph, verges upon sublimity, if he does not take 
 particular care, he is often in very great danger of talking 
 nonsense. 
 
 Dr. Randolph having put off his foreign journey, which 
 T, as a Poet, suppose to have happened by the instigation 
 of Venus, thus writes to Lady Jersey, (Correspondence, 
 p. 5 and 6.) " On my return to London I found letters, 
 " which would fill my departure for Germany with much 
 *'• anxiety. Mrs. Randolph, who in the original plan was 
 *• to have accompanied me early in the summer, found her- 
 *^ self in a situation that rendered void every such intention; 
 N 4 « and 
 
![ i68 ] 
 
 Ytt fancy oft can raise, as poets sang, 
 To red danger separation's pang. 
 
 Wondrous fond man ! on whom no god shall frown. 
 The pride of Paphos, envy of the gown i 3© 
 
 Whose very shade might fructify the ground. 
 While streams uxorious {d) murmur all around: 
 Whose sole return produc' dy [e] by playful stealth, 
 No hifluence small on Mrs, Randolph's healthy 
 Who yet, though conscious of the best effect ^ ^^ 
 Her situation scarcely could suspect, (f) 
 
 I praise 
 
 ** and though, when I left her, it was only luid iJie tear of 
 «« occasional ahsence, yet I find (though she is silent on the subject) 
 ^* that the imagination has been too busy, and magnified the Jiang 
 «« ^ separation into the misery of real danger »^^ 
 
 Lugete O Veneres Cupidinesque, 
 
 Et quantum est hominum venustiorum ! 
 
 (</) Vagus et sinistra 
 
 Labitur ripa, Jove non Jtrohante^ ux- 
 or lus amnis. 
 
 {e) ** I am happy to say, that my return has had no small influence 
 @n Mrs. Randol/ih's health.'* Correspondence, p. 11. 
 
 (/) '* I am hap^y to say, that my return has been productive of 
 •* the best effects to Mrs. Randolph, nuho^ till lately^ did not sus^ 
 ** pect her situation Correspondence, p. i6. 
 
C i69 3 
 
 I praise the husband and those virtuous fears. 
 The less your sense, the more your love appears : 
 Attend, from Brighton while the Muse I bring, 
 Safe in the maily your studious cares to sing; 40 
 Let Lockman {g) in the closet pray or doze; 
 Read jo« my verse, or Tommy Tyrrwhitt's {h) prose. 
 
 Come then, one glance from Love and Hymen steal. 
 And all you know, and all you think, reveal; 
 Yet ah 1 beware, and in affection's spite, 45 
 
 Spare Mrs. Randolph's blushes, as you write; 
 Then turn to Bolton, (/) and his Cross of Gold, 
 A name the Muses with surprise behold. 
 
 Say, 
 
 {g) The Rev. Dr. Lockman, Clerk of the Closet to the 
 Prince of Wales. 
 
 {h) Thomas Tyrrwhitt, Esq. Private Secretary to H. R. H. 
 the Prince of Wales. His style is said to be nervous; but upon 
 his being asked if he thought the Royal Correspondence might 
 ever be published, he acknowledged that the EjiistoI::e ad Fa- 
 miliarei were by no means adapted for public inspection, and 
 that there was not one letter to Atticus in the whole collection. 
 
 (/) Mr. Bolton is Master of the Golden Cross Inn, at 
 Charing Cross, and Proprietor of the Brighton mail-coach; at 
 this inn the Rev. Dr. Randolph ^ooiVthe parcel in question. 
 
 iV. B, This note has its pathos, but not in any exquisite 
 degree. 
 
[ 170 ] 
 
 Say, how the royal hand the trust resigned. 
 The trust you booFd, {k) and wisely left behind; 50 
 Or call on Anstruther (/) the charge to state^ 
 For Graham would but waste the time {ni) in prate; 
 . Or e'en to Doctor Hallifax {n) submit, 
 He has good-nature, and a little wit; 
 
 Or 
 
 (I) *' I attended at tie Golden Cross^ previous to the departure 
 ** of the coach; and, having first seen it regularly booPd, de- 
 *' liver'd my parcel, inclosing the Princess's packet, addressed 
 
 •* to your Ladyship, at the Pavillion." Correspondence, 
 
 p. 32. 
 
 (/) R. Graham, Esq. Attorney General, and J. Anstruther, 
 Esq. Solicitor General to the Prince of Wales. Mr. Anstru- 
 ther's speech in one of the charges on Mr. Hastings's Trial, 
 consisted of the words state, stated, stating, at tvtry third sen- 
 tence at the least. The Lords and the audience never heard 
 such a Stater or Statist before. 
 
 (w) It is well known among the Lawyers, that if they want 
 to keep the House of Lords sitting till there is a fuller attend- 
 ance, or till a material witness arrives, they wish for Mr. 
 Graham to chat to them about a turnpike, or an inclosure bill, 
 for an hour or tv/o, which he does with the greatest fluency 
 imaginable. N. B, Mr. Christie can say as much on a ribbon 
 as a Raphael. 
 
 in) A very pleasant, easy man, and an excellent Apothe- 
 cary, made into a Physician by the Archbishop of Canterbury, 
 y^'hoit faculties are infinite. — ■ — Well, well; the Archbishop 
 may make as many Doctors as he pleases; *' Nature and Sick- 
 •* ness debate if at their leisure." Dr. Hallifax and Dr. War- 
 ren are the Physicians to the Prince of Wales, 
 
[ 171 1 
 
 Or if, fond Sir ! a stranger yet at court, t^^ 
 
 Bid Warren write, ^.ndi frame a strong report \ 
 Warren, whose well-fee'd hand, in dubious case, 
 The JEsculapian [p] serpent best may grace; 
 For him no title Pitt or Heard shall forge, 
 Sir Charles, Sir Luke, SirWalter, or Sir George. (/>) 6o 
 
 Say, when for Brunswick first you hop'd to steer. 
 
 How lagg'd the months of the long lingering year; 
 
 Nor if forbid that secret now to name, (^) 
 
 Say — if the Duke of York to Windsor came. 
 
 To 
 
 (©) ** To beguile the time, 
 
 " Look like the time; look like the innocent flower, 
 
 ** But he the serfient under it.^'' Macbeth, 
 
 I only quote Shakspeare: I am no commentator; but remem* 
 brance will be busy. 
 
 {Jt) The rage or frenzy of Knighthood and Baronetage has 
 invaded and seized the college. Sir Charles Blagden, M. D, 
 and Knight of — I don't know what. He was made so for a 
 German tour, to figure away as a Chevalier^ and for no other 
 reason that I can tell: Sir George Baker, M. D. Baronet, for 
 his skill, reputation, and learning: and Sir Walter JFar^ 
 quJiar^ Physician, Surgeon, Man-midwife, Apothecary, and 
 Baronet. 
 
 Momento turbinis exit 
 
 Marcus Dama : Papae ! Marco spondente recusas 
 
 Credere tu vltamf &c. 
 But, '* as Sir Walter knows all this, I shall not go on telling 
 him." See the Critic. 
 
 (^) I must give the whole passage relating to his departure, 
 
 aa4 
 
r 17' ] 
 
 To whom you owe that solace of your life, 6^ 
 
 And, source of all anxiety ^ your wife. 
 Say, //"the Duke his letters chose to send 
 By the Dutch mail, or by his reverend friend, 
 Happy to bless your parting, not perplex, 
 And e'en some sense of duty to annex, 7a 
 
 Say, 
 
 and all the Doctor's hyjiotlietical reasoning, on which this part of 
 my Epistle is founded ; the Doctor's words cannot be suffi- 
 ciently attended to or admired. ** To think of pleasure, which 
 •* in its pursuit would give a moment's pain to one^ ivJme hap- 
 ^ piness I am proud to say^ is far clearer to me than my cwn^ is a 
 •* lesion^ thank God^ 1 have still to learn^ and 1 throw myself 
 *' upon your Ladyship's goodness for a firoper explanation, 
 •' One thing I would however premise, \\i2X if any consequence 
 ** should attach to the delinjery of her R. HJ's letters, or in case the 
 *^ Buhe of York, whom 1 hope to meet at Windsor to day, should 
 •' ^^1;^ any thing of importance to intrust me 'with, gratitude and 
 ** esteem, (for even the object of my anxiety I owe in a great 
 •' measure to their goodness,) will then annex a sense of duty to my 
 *' departure, and consequently o'vercome e'uery scruple. Again 
 *' then trusting my cause in your Ladyship's hands, and with 
 *• the hopes of renewing my plan at the expiration of a itw 
 •* months; and may I not add of then repeating the exultation of 
 *' a grateful people from the increased sum of a nation's blessings^ 
 •' &c. &c." The P, S. " May I request the favour of a line 
 •* by Sunday night's post, to meet me in town on Monday^ 
 •' because from that I shall regulate my future motions.''^ Letter 
 to the Countess of Jersey. — Correspondence, page 7 and 8. 
 
 N. B. I request the reader to male himself perfect in this whole 
 passage, before he reads my weak imitation of it. Who shall 
 ever talk again of ths " ^ %t\zXqx tenera conjugis immemorf^ 
 
C 173 ] 
 
 ^ay, how your scruples vanished ; times to come, 
 
 ^ nation 5 blessings in increased sum^ 
 
 Brighten'd your soul, and varnish'd high your style. 
 
 To antedate the raptures of our isle ! 
 
 You still on Jersey caird, like other men, 75 
 
 To regulate your motions — by her pen : 
 
 Then say, how well all writing may be spar'd, 
 
 How nothing can be known, when nothing is declar'd. 
 
 Sweet are the gifts of learning and of ease, 
 That teach ybw<^ man to reason and to please, 5o 
 AVith grace a simple subject to adorn. 
 To strike with truth, and tinsel glare to scorn! 
 Such thoughts my youthful fancy best could move. 
 When first I wander'd in the studious grove; 
 Now with experience blest, and riper days,* S5 
 
 And sense to weigh the candidates for praise, 
 I feel that sleep must wait at wisdom's close. 
 And students work, that doctors may repose. 
 
 Well-pleas'd I read, on state affairs intent. 
 How clear your words ! how close your argument ! 
 
 E'eQ 
 
[ ^74 ] 
 
 E*ea he may understand the simple tale, ^i 
 
 Who runs to hook his parcels in the mail. 
 
 But oh that void, from August to Jttly, (r) 
 What journals or what fancy may supply? 
 Whac streams you crossed, the Elbe, or blood-stain*d 
 Rhine, ^ 95 
 
 Of with Prince-bishops if you chose to dine. 
 Felt o'er your temples the suspended sword. 
 By Gallic threads, atKLEBER*s thund'ring word, 
 What German towns you traversed, who can tell ? 
 Towns, that a British Muse ne'er learn*d to spell ; 
 (Oh that their very names might Jourdan throttle) 
 Eisenach, Ehrenbreht stein, or Wolfenhottle. 
 Such tempting themes unwilling I forego. 
 Nor strive to paint, what I can never know ; 
 And why abroad should idle fancy roam, 105 
 
 When the gay scene is only found at home ? 
 
 Methinks 
 
 (?) Dr. Randolph received the packet from the Princess at 
 Brighton on the 30th of August 1795, (Correspondence page 
 30,) and the Dr's. last letter to Lady Jersey is dated July 5, 
 3796. — The great hiatus or chasm, which I so feelingly regret, 
 might be supplied if the Doctor would but publish an account 
 of his tour in Germany, for which I wait with something more 
 than mere impatience. 
 
[ 175 3 
 
 Methinks with you I stroll by Brighton's main. 
 With belles and loungers on the crowded Steine, 
 Where Jews (/) and Jobbers give the ton to taste, 
 And Marlborough {u) fears a nation's wealth to waste; 
 Where now the Muses Hamilton (ze;) deplore. 
 And Grafton joys, that Junius is no more. 
 
 With you I seek the light Pavilion's dome. 
 Where Holland thought to fix a Prince at home^ 
 Whose base the majesty of ocean laves, 115 
 
 And friendly H^alcyons {x) fain would calm the waves, 
 I see the Princess {j) bend her graceful hand. 
 And Darnley smirks, and Chom'ley waves his wand ; 
 
 There 
 
 (/) Messrs. Goldsmidt, all the Solomons, Nathan Solomon, 
 E. P. Solomon, and Solomon Solomon^ Boyd, Thellussons, 
 &c. in short, hoc genus omncy m^sstum ac soUicitum, 
 
 Abargain/or the opening may be made on the Steine as welj as 
 in the Stock Exchange, or a Jobber can study Hemmings on the 
 Fourth Payment^ or look «« eighth better^ or ijooise^ for dihhino- in 
 the funds, as well as in the sea. 
 
 («) The D. of Marlborough has a house on the Steine at 
 Brighton, which his Grace lets out for a great part of the season. 
 
 (to) The Rt. Hon. William Gerard fiamilton. 
 
 {x) The part of the Halcyons by the Earl of Moira, Lord 
 Cholmley, Lord Thurlow, &c. &;c. 
 
 (>») ** I need not recall to your Ladyship's recollection, the 
 
 " interview 
 
[ 176 ] 
 
 There stands the heavy St. Leger apart. 
 
 Once highly favour'd with the hand and heart; 120 
 
 Hulse, caird in vain the treasure to disburse. 
 
 And Seymour, dangHng with an empty purse; 
 
 Stanhope's hard pbyz, and Aston^s easy air. 
 
 With Viscount Villiers by the royal chair; 
 
 Of Chaplains [z) too a melancholy store, 125 
 
 Whose names the Muse ne'er knew, or heard before. 
 
 Say now, my Randolph, for the trust prepar'd 
 Who felt the nod, or who the whisper (har'd; 
 Say next, what converse in the presence passed. 
 When each bon mot was brighter than the last, 130 
 Say, for your prose may best adorn my rhyme, 
 How high they reason'd of fate, chance, and time; 
 
 And 
 
 " interview I had with the Princess at Brighton, lohn she deli^ 
 ** vered to me the pacht in queiiion; all her attendants in waiting 
 ** were, I believe, present.^ — Correspondence page 30. — The 
 nanies and offices of all the personages, from Lord Darnley, to 
 the Chaplains, may be found in the Red Book, which should be 
 consulted. 
 
 (z) Some of the names, (chosen with care from the whole 
 body of the Clergy for so high a distinction, as we may fairly 
 conjecture,) the Red Book gives — '* Barker, Hodson, Nugent, 
 Wilgress, Perkins, Barnard Foord, &c. &c. I bc|ieve I a|n 
 rather poetical in supposing them present* 
 
t 17? 
 
 ^* Of all the branches of the race august, (aa) 
 " How some must sprout, some moulder in the dust i 
 " And hWf alas! in ten revolving years^ 13^ 
 
 " Some grace in royal features disappears.*' 
 Say, hw you took ike trust — -I say no more. 
 Nor will I sing again^ what I have sung before. 
 
 Thus, as the summer sun-beaiiis round me play^ 
 With state ^nd farce I sooth my various day ; 140 
 Nor groan, with Morgan, at the fall of flocks. 
 But sing th rape of packets ^ or of locks. 
 
 While you, my Randolph, dews Castalian sip^ 
 Or inspiration wait from Jersey's lip; 
 *Tis your's the Royal Stranger's mind to teachj 14^ 
 To form her accent, and direct her speech. 
 Yourself the bright example of your art. 
 How best simplicity may reach the heart % 
 Lo, Secretary Murray {bb) deigns a smile, 
 And hails his Brother Tully of the isle* ic^(^ 
 
 'Tis 
 
 {ad) '* The €on*oersation generally turned upon the Various 
 ** branches of her august family, and the alteration I should find 
 ** in them after an absence of ten yean ^ Correspondence, p. 30* 
 
 (i^^) Secretary Murray, — Not the iate Lord Mansfield, nor any 
 
 O Secretary 
 
C »78 ] 
 'Tis your^s, to sing the royal cares to rest, 
 With Langhorne's tales, or plays from Ireland's chest* 
 Or lullabies of old or modern time; 
 No prose from Swift to take, from Pope no rhyme. 
 No fire from Milton, strength from Dryden's strain, 
 But all, save baby Jerningham, disdain^ 156 
 
 E'en Gray shall fall, nor o'er his rustic urn 
 In pensive mood your Carolina mourn. 
 
 Lo, at your nod shall Clarendon retire. 
 And Gillies rule o'er all th' historic choir; i6o 
 
 Scotch Mirror Sy and Scotch Loungers in the rear. 
 In right of Addison shall charm her ear. 
 With namby-pamby preachers of the age, 
 Blair in the pulpit, Greathead on the stage ; 
 Nor Locke, nor Bacon raise the studious head, 165 
 And Darwin for Lucretius shall be read; 
 
 And 
 
 Secretary of State, but Sir James Murray (Pulteney) Adju- 
 tant General, and Secretary to the Duke of York when H. R. H. 
 commanded the British forces in Flanders, at the beginning , 
 of the war. Secretary Murray's style was universally admired 
 for Its perspicuity^ iim/tUcityy and lucid arrangement \ and the Se- 
 cretary's official dispatches are preserved for posterity^ Great 
 ivriters in future times will say to each other; 
 
 *' Yes, I'm content, allow me Murray's strains, 
 *' And you shall rise up Randolph for your pains.'* 
 
[^79] 
 
 And Newton's self shall yield, with pious Boyle, 
 
 To Hartley's whims, and Priestley's flimsy toiL 
 
 Dulness shall re-assume her ancient rights 
 
 And pert conceit, and diction's darkest night 170 
 
 Involve all meaning, and absorb the ray 
 
 That beam'd from light's full orb in Anna's day. 
 
 But oh, yet conscious of your charge, impart 
 This English lesson to a Brunswick's heart : 
 
 Tell her, that virtue Britain still shall own, 175 
 And Love shall guard th' hereditary throne; 
 Before the eye of youth though meteors run. 
 The star of Venus fades before the sun ; 
 The morn has dews, when shadowy vapours gleam 5 
 Our noon-day claims a stronger steadier beam. 180 
 Tell her, for 'tis jyowr office best to know. 
 Virtue, like her's, is peace, and guilt is woe; 
 Tell heri there is a voice, nor faint nor dull. 
 That in the desert cries, and city full, 
 in high-vic'd courts^ and on the sea's lone shore, I Z^ 
 *^ Awake to righteousness, and sin no more!" 
 
 O 2 That 
 
I xSo 3 
 
 That angels still shall guide her spotless breast 
 In downy dreams to fixM connubial rest, 
 Returning virtue sign the blest release. 
 Confirmed by love and penitential peace. 190 
 
 Then, waving high o'er Carlton*s pillar'd porch. 
 No more the fiame all dim, revers'd the torch. 
 Shall Hymen his unchanging trophies rear. 
 And life and joy Favonian gales shall bear. 
 
 I cease, my Randolph, oh, forgive the Muse, 19^ 
 Her plume yet fragrant with celestial dews. 
 Forgive her fears, her serious passing strain. 
 She ne'er was schooi'd to murmur or complain. 
 For Wisdom taught her, e'en from earliest youth. 
 To feel, with you, this great unalter'd truth; 200 
 ^' That oft a Nation's fondest hope is crost, 
 ** And that — a Packet may be book'd^ and lost," 
 
 THE END. 
 
I iSi j 
 
 NEW MORALITY, 
 
 ?3tOK THB ANfi-jACq»ISa 
 
 kJSAJ^^^ 
 
 printed originally in th^ year 1798, 
 
C 183 3 
 
 NEW MORALITY. 
 
 (From the Anti-Jacobin.) 
 
 X* R o M mental mists to purge a nation's eyes; 
 To animate the weak, unite the wise; 
 To trace the deep infection, that pervades 
 The crowded town, and taints the rural shades; 
 To mark how wide extends the mighty waste 5 
 
 O'er the fair realms of Science, Learning, Taste; 
 To drive and scatter all the brood of lies. 
 And chase the varying falsehood as it flies; 
 The long arrears of ridicule to pay. 
 To drag reluctant Dullness back to day; 10 
 
 Much yet remains. To you these themes belong, 
 Ye favoured sons of virtue and of song ! 
 
 Say, is the field too narrow ? are the times 
 
 Barren of folly, and devoid of crimes? 
 
 O 4 Yet 
 
[ 1^4 ] 
 Yet, venial vices, in a milder age, Ij 
 
 Could rouse the warmth of Pope's satiric rage ; 
 The doating miser, and the lavish heir. 
 The follies, and the foibles of the fair. 
 Sir Job, Sir Balaam, and old Euclio's thrift. 
 And Sappho's diamonds with her dirty shift, 20 
 Blunt, Charter's, Hopkins; meaner subjects fir'd 
 The keen-eyed Poet, while the Muse inspir'd 
 Her ardent child, entwining, as he sate, 
 His laurell'd chaplet with the thorns of hate. 
 
 But say, indignant does the Muse retire. 
 Her shrine deserted, and extinct its fire ? 
 No pious hand to feed the sacred flame. 
 No raptur'd soul a poet's charge to claim .^ 
 
 Bethink thee, Gifford, when some future ^gc 
 
 Shall trace the promise of thy playful page; 30 
 
 «' (a) The hand which brush'd a swarm of fools away, 
 
 ^* Should rouse to grasp a more reluctant prey!" 
 
 Think 
 
 (a) See the motto prefixed to " the Baviad,*' a satirical poem, 
 by W. Gifford, Esq. unquestionably the best of its J^ind, since 
 the daya of Pope. 
 
 I Nunc in ovilia 
 
 M©x in rcluctantes dracones» 
 
C iS5 3 ' 
 
 Think then, will pleaded indolence excuse 
 The tame secession of thy languid Muse? 
 
 Ah ! where is now that promise ? why so long 31 
 Sleep the keen shafts of satire and of song? 
 Oh ! come, with Taste and Virtue at thy side. 
 With ardent zeal inflam'd, and patriot pride | 
 With keen poetic glance direct the blow. 
 And empty all thy quiver on the foe : 4© 
 
 No pause, no rest, till weltering on the ground 
 The poisonous hydra lies, and pierced with many a 
 wound. 
 
 Thou too! — the nameless Bardy (^)— whose honest 
 zeal 
 For law, for morals, for the public weal. 
 Pours down impetuous on thy country's foes 
 The stream of verse, and many languag'd prosej 
 Thou too! — though oft thy ill-advised dislike. 
 The guiltless head with random censure strike ; 
 Though quaint allusions, vague and undefin'd. 
 Play faintly round the ear, but mock the mind; 
 
 Through 
 (^) The Author of «« The Pursuits of Literature."^ 
 
t 186^ ] 
 
 Thro* the mixM mass yet truth and learning shine. 
 And manly vigour stamps the nervous line. 
 And patriot warmth the generous rage inspires, 
 And wakes and points the desultory fires ! 
 
 Yet more remain unknown : for who can tell 
 What bashful genius, in some rural cell. 
 As year to year, and day succeeds to day, 
 In joyless leisure wastes his life away ? 
 In him the flame of early fancy shone ^ 
 His genuine worth his pld companions own ; 6q 
 In childhood and in youth their chief confess'd. 
 His master's pride, his pattern to the rest. 
 Now, far aloof retiring from the strife 
 Of busy talents, and of active life, 
 As, from the loop-holes of retreat, he views 65 
 Our stage, verse, pamphlets, politics, and news. 
 He loaths the world ; or, with reflection sad^ 
 Concludes it irrecoverably mad. 
 Of taste, of learning, morals, all bereft. 
 No hope, no prospect to redeem it left, 70 
 
 Awake I 
 
[ i87 ] ' 
 Awake! for shame! or e'er thy nobler sense 
 Sink in th' obUvious pool of indolence! 
 Must wit be found alone on falsehood's side. 
 Unknown to truth, to virtue unallied? 
 Arise! nor scorn thy country's just alarms; 75 
 
 Wield in her cause thy long-neglected arms : 
 Of lofty satire pour th' indignant strain. 
 Leagued with her friends, and ardent to maintain 
 'Gainst Learning's, Virtue's, Truth's, Religion's foes, 
 A kingdom's safety, and the world's repose. 80 
 
 If Vice appal thee ; if thou view with awe 
 Insults that brave, and crimes that 'scape the law; 
 yet may the specious bastard brood, which claim 
 A spurious homage under Virtue's name. 
 Sprung from that parent of ten thousand crimes. 
 The Nsw Philosophy of modern times, 
 Yet, these may rouse thee! — With unsparing hand, 
 Ph, lash the vile impostures from the land I 
 
 First, stern Philanthropy : not she, who dries 
 T['he orphan's tears, and wipes the widow's eyes^ 90 
 
 Not 
 
[ x88 3 
 
 Not she, who, sainted Charity her goidcj, 
 
 Of Ba*itish bounty pours the annual tide 2 
 
 But Freneh Philanthropy ; whose boundless lr^^d 
 
 Glows with the general love of all mankind j 
 
 Philanthropy, beneath whose baneful sway JJ. 
 
 Each patriot passion sinks, and dies away. 
 
 Taught in her school to imbibe thy mawkish strain^ 
 Condorcet, filter'd through the dregs of Paine, 
 Each pert adept disowns a Briton's part. 
 And plucks the name of England from his heart, loa 
 
 What shall a narne, a word, a sound control 
 Th^ aspiring thought, and cramp th' expansive so^il ? 
 Shall one half-peopled Island's rocky round 
 A love, that glows for all Creation, bound? 
 And social charities contract the plan io| 
 
 Fram'd for thy Freedom, universal Man? 
 J^o— through th' extended globe his feelings run 
 As broad and general as the' unbounded sun i 
 No narrow bigot he: his reason'd view 
 Thy interests, England, ranks with thine, Peru ! u® 
 
 He 
 
[ »89 3 
 
 France at our doors, he sees no danger nigh. 
 But heaves for Turkey's woes the* impartial sigh j 
 A steady Patriot of the World alone. 
 The Friend of every Countr}^ — but his own. 
 
 Next comes a gentler Virtue, Ah ! beware 
 Lest the harsh verse her shrinking softness scares 
 Visit her not too roughly j the warm sigh 
 Breathes on her lips ; the tear-drop gems her eye» 
 Sweet Sensibility, who dwells enshrin'd 
 In the fine foldings of the feeling mind ; ' i2S 
 
 With delicate Mimosa's sense endued. 
 Who shrinks instinctive from a hand too rude. 
 Or, like the anagallis^ prescient flower, 
 Shuts her soft petals at the' approaching shower* 
 
 Sweet child of sickly Fancy ! her of yore 
 From her lov'd France Rousseau to exile borej 
 And, while midst lakes and mountains wild he ran. 
 Full of himself, and shunn'd the haunts of man. 
 Taught her o*er each lone vale, and Alpine steep. 
 To lisp the story of his wrongs, and weep; 130 
 
 Taught 
 
[ 19® j 
 
 Taught her to cherish still in either eye; 
 
 Of tender tears a plentiful supply, C 
 
 And pour them in the brooks that babbled by, ^ 
 
 Taught by nice scale to mete her feelings strong, 
 
 False by degrees, and exquisitely wrong; 135 
 
 For the crushed beetle /rj/ ; the widow'd dove. 
 
 And all the warbled sorrows of the grove; 
 
 Next for poor suffYmg gui/t , and last of all, 
 
 For Parents, Friends, a King's, and Country's fall, 
 
 Mark her fair votaries, prodigal of grief, 140 
 
 With cureless pangs, and woes that mock relief. 
 
 Droop in soft sorrow o'er a faded flower; 
 
 O'er a dead jack-ass pour the ^ear/y shower; 
 
 But hear, unmov'd, of Loire's ensanguined flood, 
 
 Chok'd up with slain ; of Lyons drench'd in blood ; 
 
 Of crimes that blot the age, the world with shame, 
 
 Foul crimes, but sickhed o'er with Freedom's name; 
 
 Altars and thrones subverted; social life 
 
 Trampled to earth ; the husband from the wife, 
 
 Parent from child, with ruthless fury torn; 150 
 
 Of talents, honour, virtue, wit, forlorn, 
 
 In 
 
[ X9I ] 
 
 In friendless exile j of the wise and good 
 Staining the daily scaffold with their blood ; 
 Of savage cruelties, that scare the mind, 
 The rage of madness with hell's lusts combined, 
 Of hearts torn reeking from the mangled breast. 
 They hear — and hope, that all is for the best. 
 
 Fond hope ! but Justice sanctifies the pray'r 
 Justice! here. Satire, strike! 'twere sin to spare! 
 Not she in British Courts that takes her stand, i6o 
 The dawdling balance dangling in her hand, 
 Adjusting punishments to fraud and vice. 
 With scrupulous quirks, and disquisition nice i 
 But firm, erect, with keen reverted glance, 
 Th' avenging angel of regenerate France, 
 Who visits ancient sins on modern times. 
 And punishes the Pope. for Csesar's crimes, [c) 
 
 Such 
 
 (c) The Manes of Vercengetorix are supposed to have been 
 
 very much gratified by the invasion of Italy and the plunder of 
 the Roman territory. The defeat of the Burgurdians is to be 
 revenged on the modern inhabitants of Switzerland. But the 
 Swiss were a free people, defending their liberties against a 
 tyrant. Moreover, they happened to be in alliance with France 
 
 at 
 
t 192 ] 
 
 Siich IS the liberal Justice which presides 
 In these our days, and modern patriots guides; 
 Justice, whose blood-stain'd book one sole decree^ 
 One statute fills -, ^' The People shall be Free." 171 
 Free by what means ? by folly, madness, guilt. 
 By boundless rapine, blood in oceans spilt^ 
 By confiscation, in whose sweeping toils 
 The poor man's pittance with the rich man's spoils^ 
 Mix'd in one common mass^ are swept away^ 
 To glut the short-liv'd tyrant of the day ; 
 By laws, religion, morals, all overthrown t 
 Rouse then> ye sovereign people, claim your own : 
 The licence that enthrals^ the truth that blinds, i8d 
 The wealth that starves you, and the pow'rthat grinds. 
 So Justice bids. 'Twas her enlightened doom, 
 Louis, thy holy head devoted to the tom.b ! 
 'Twas Justice claim'd, in that accursed hour. 
 The fatal forfeit of too lenient pow'r* 
 
 Mourn 
 
 at the time. No matter, Burgundy is since become a province 
 of France, and the French have acquired a property in all the 
 injuries and defeats whic,h the people of that country may have 
 sVislained, together with a title to revenge and retaliation to be 
 exercised in the present, or any future centuries, as may b«! 
 found most glorious and convenient. 
 
[ 193 3 
 
 Mourn for the Man we may; but for the King, 
 Freedom, oh ! Freedom's such a charming thing ! 
 
 lage, N 
 191 V 
 
 'apre. ^ 
 
 " Much may be said on both sides.'* Hark ! I hear 
 A well-known voice that murmurs in my ear, 
 Thevoiceof Candour. Hail! most solemn sage. 
 Thou drivelling virtue of this moral age. 
 Candour, which softens party's headlong rage. 
 Candour, which spares its foes; nor e'er descends 
 With bigot zeal to combat for its friends. 
 Candour, which loves in see-saw strain to tell 
 Of acting foolishly^ but meaning well-^ 
 Too nice to praise by wholesale, or to blame. 
 Convinced that all men's motives are the same; 
 And finds, with keen discriminating sight. 
 Black's not j^? blacky nor white jo ^'f^y white. 200 
 
 " Fox, to be sure, was vehement and wrong; 
 " But then Pitt's words, you'll own^ were r^/>^<?r strong; 
 *' Both must be blamed, both pardon'd; 'twas just so 
 ^' With Fox and Pitt full forty years ago ! 
 ^' So Walpole, Pulteney; factions in all times, 
 ** Have had their follies, ministers their crimes." 
 
 F Give 
 
[ ^94 1 
 Give me th' avow'd, th' erect, the manly foe. 
 Bold I can meet, perhaps may turn his blow; 
 But of all plagues, goodheav'n, thy wrath can send. 
 Save, save, oh! save me from the Candid Friend! 
 
 " Barras loves plunder ; Merlin takes a bribe; 
 " What then? shall Candour these good men 
 
 *' proscribe? 
 '^ No! ere we join the loud-accusing throng, * 
 " Prove, not the facts, but, that they thought them 
 wrong, 
 
 *' Why hang 0*Quigley ? he, misguided man, 
 ^* In sober thought his country's weal might plan: 
 '^ And, while his deep-wrought Treason sapp'd the 
 
 throne, 
 *' Might act from taste in morals, all his own.'* 
 
 Peace to such Reasoners ! let them have their way ; 
 Shut their dull eyes against the blaze of day. 2:^0 
 Priestley's a Saint, and Stone a Patriot still; 
 And Xa Fayette a Hero, if they will. 
 
 I love 
 
[ml 
 
 1 love the bold uncompromising mind. 
 Whose principles are iix'd, whose views defin'd: 
 Who scouts and scorns^ in canting Candour's spite^ 
 All taste in morals , innate sense of right. 
 And Nature's impulse, all uncheck'd by art. 
 And feelings fine, that float about the heart; 
 Content, for good men's guidance, bad men's awe. 
 On moral truth to rest, and Gospel law* 230 
 
 Who owns, when Traitors feel the' avenging rod, 
 Just retribution, and the hand of God; 
 Who hears the groans through Olmutz' roofs that 
 
 nvg. 
 
 Of him who mock'd, misled, betrayed his King, 
 Hears unappaird: though Faction's zealots preach, 
 Unmov'd, unsoften'd by Fitzpatrick's speech. 
 
 {d) That speech on which the melting Com- 
 mons hung, 
 " While truths divine came mended from /^/j tongue /' 
 
 How 
 
 {d) The speech of General Fitzpatrick, on his motion for 
 an address of the House of Commons to the Emperor of Ger- 
 many, to demand the deliverance ofM. La Fayette, from the 
 
 P 2 prison 
 
[ 196 ] 
 
 How loving husband clings to duteous wife ; 
 
 How pure religion sooths the ills of life ; 240 
 
 How Popish ladies trust their pious fears 
 
 And naughty actions in their chaplain's ears. 
 
 Half novel, and half sermon, on it flow'd; 
 
 With pious zeal the Opposition glow'd; 
 
 And as o'er each the soft infection crept, 245 
 
 Sigh'd as he whined, and as he whimperM wept;-.-* 
 
 E'en Curwen dropt a sentimental tear. 
 
 And stout St. Andrew yelp'd a softer ''-Hear!** 
 
 O ! nurse of crimes and fashions ! which in vain 
 Our colder servile spirits would attain, 250 
 
 How 
 
 prison of Olmutz, was one of the mofl dainty pieces of oratory 
 that ever drew tears from a crowded gallery and the clerks at the 
 table. It was really quite moving to hear the General talk of 
 religion, conjugal fidelity, and " such branches of learning.'* 
 There were a few who laughed indeed, but that was thought 
 hard-hearted, and immoral, and irreligious, and God knows 
 what. Crying was the order of the day. Why will not the 
 Opposition try these topics again? La Fayette indeed (the 
 raore's the pity) is out. But why not a motion for a general- 
 goal-delivery of all State Prisoners throughout Europe? 
 
[ 197 ] 
 
 How do we ape thee, France ! but blundering still 
 Disgrace the pattern by our want of skill. 
 The borrow'd step our awkward gait reveals: 
 (As clumsy Courtney mars the veise he steals.) 
 How do we ape thee, France! nor claim alone 
 Thy arts, thy tastes, thy morals for our own. 
 But to thy Worthies render homage due. 
 Their (/) '* hair-breadih scapes'' with anxious in- 
 terest view. 
 Statesmen and heroines whom this age adores, 
 Tho' plainer times would call them rogues and whores. 
 
 See Louvet, patriot, pamphleteer, and sage, 261 
 Tempering with amorous fire his virtuous rage ! 
 Form'd for all tasks, his various talents see, 
 The luscious novel, the severe decree. 
 
 Then 
 
 (/) See RecU de mes Perils^ by Louvet; Memoiresd''un Detenu^ 
 by Riouffe, &c. The avidity with which these pre Auctions 
 were read, might, we should hope, be accounted for upon 
 principles of mere curiosity (as we read the Newgate Calendar, 
 and the history of the Buccaneers), not from any interest in 
 favour of a set of wretches, infinitely more detestable than all 
 the robbers and pirates that ever existed. 
 
 P3 
 
• [ 198 ] 
 
 Then mark him welt' ring in his nasty sty, 
 
 Bare his lewd transports to the public eye. 
 
 Not his the love in silent groves that strays. 
 
 Quits the rude world, and shuns the vulgar gaze; 
 
 In Lodoiska's full possession blest. 
 
 One craving void still aches within his breast, 270 
 
 Plunged in the filth and fondness of her arms. 
 
 Not to himself alone he stints her charms; 
 
 Clasp'd in each other's foul embrace they lie. 
 
 But know no joy, unless the world stands by ? 
 
 The fool of vanity, for her alone 
 
 He lives, loves, writes, and dies but to be known, 
 
 His widow'd mourner flies to poison's aid. 
 Eager to join her Louvet's parted shade 
 In those bright realms, where sainted lovers stray. 
 But harsh emetics tear that hope away, [g) 280 
 
 Yet 
 
 {g) Every lover of modern French literature, and admirer 
 of modern French characters, must remember the rout which 
 was made about Louvet's death, and Lodoiska^s poison. The 
 attempt at self-slaughter, and the process of the recovery, the 
 arsenic, and \\\t castor oil, were served up in daiJy messes 
 from the French paper?, till the public absolutely sickened. 
 
[ 199 ] - 
 
 Yet hapless Louvet ! where thy bones are laid, 
 The easy nymphs shall consecrate the shade. (;^) 
 There, in the laughing morn of genial spring, 
 Un wedded pairs shall tender couplets sing; 
 Eringoes o'er the hallow'd spot shall bloom, 
 And flies of Spain buzz softly round the tomb. (/) 
 
 But hold, severer virtue claims the Muse ; 
 Roland the just, with ribands in his shoes; {k) 
 And Roland's spouse who paints with chaste delight 
 The doubtful conflict of her nuptial night; 290 
 Her virgin charms what fierce attacks assail'd. 
 And how the rigid Minister (/) prevail'd. 
 
 ymien, v 
 queen, > 
 ! ) 
 
 And ah ! what verse can grace thy stately mien, 
 Guide of the world, preferment's golden 
 Neckar's fair daughter, Stacl the Epicene 
 
 Br'ght 
 
 (^) Facile^ "Najiece. 
 
 (/) See Anthologia passim. 
 
 (i) Such was the strictness of this Minister's principles, that 
 he positively refused to go to court in shoe-buckles. — Sec 
 Dumourier's Memoirs. 
 
 (/) See Madame i^oland's Memoirs—" l^lgide MinUirey^ 
 Brissot a ses Commetans, 
 
 P4 
 
Bright O'er whose flaming cheek, and pumple(w) nose. 
 The bloom of young desire unceasing glows ! 
 Fain would the Muse— but ah ! she dares no more, 
 A mournful voice from lone Guyana's shore, [n) 
 SadQuatremer, the bold presumption checks, 300 
 Forbid to question thy ambiguous sex, 
 
 To thee, proud Barras bow^s; thy charms control 
 Rewbeirs brute rage, and Merlin's subtle soul ; 
 RaisM by thy hands, and fashion'd to thy will, 
 Thy pow'r, thy guiding influence, governs still, 
 Where at the blood-stain*d board expert he plies. 
 The lame artificer of fraud and lies^ 
 
 He 
 
 {m) The " pumple" nosed attorney of Furnival'slnn. — Con- 
 greve's Way of the World. 
 
 («) These lines contain the secret History of Quatremer's 
 deportation. He presumed in the Council of Five Hundred 
 to arraign Madame de Stael's conduct, and even to hint a doubt 
 of her sex. He was sent to Guyana. The transaction natu^ 
 rally brings to one's mind the dialogue between FalstafF and 
 Hostess Quickly in Shakspeare's Henry IV. 
 
 Fal. Thou art neither fish npr flesh — a man cannot tell where 
 to have thee. 
 
 QuM. Thou art an unjust nian for saying so— -thou or any 
 man knows where to haye me 
 
[ 2^^ ] 
 
 He with the mitred head and cloven 'heel, 
 Doomed the coarse edge of Rewbell's jests to feel, (o) 
 To stand the playful buffet, and to hear 310 
 
 The frequent ink-stand whizzing past his ear; 
 While all the five Directors laugh to see 
 ^' The limping priest so deft at his new ministry.'' (^) 
 
 Last of the' anointed five behold, and least. 
 The Directorial Lama, Sovereign Priest, 
 Lepaux ! whom atheists worship; at whose nod 
 Bow their meek heads ///^ men without a God, [q) 
 
 Ere 
 
 (0) For instance, in the course of a political discussion, 
 Rewbell observed to the Ex-bishop — " that his understanding was 
 f' as crooked as his legs""^ — ** Vil Emigre, tu n'as pas le sens plus 
 ** droit que ies pieds" — and therewithal threw an ink-stand at 
 him. It whizzed along, as we have been informed, like the 
 fragment of a rock from the hand of one of Ossian's heroes; 
 but the wily apostate shrunk beneath the table, and the weapon 
 past over him, innocuous and guiltless of his blood or brains. 
 
 (y&) See Homer's (^esO-iption of Vulcan. First Iliad. 
 
 Inextinguibilis vero exoriebatur risus beatis numinibus 
 Ut viderunt Vulcanum per domos mimstrantem. 
 
 (y) The men without a God — one of the new sects,— Their 
 religion is intended to consist in the adoration of a Great Book, 
 in which all the virtuous actions of the Society are to be entered 
 and registered. " In times of Civil Commotion they are to 
 " come forward, to exhort the Citizens to unanimity, and to read 
 ,^* them a chapter out of the Great Book. When oppressed or 
 
 *' proscribed. 
 
[ 202 ] 
 
 Ere long, perhaps, to this astonish'd Isle, 
 Fresh from the shores of subjugated Nile, 
 Shall Bonaparte's victor fleet protect 320 
 
 Thj2f genuine Theo-Philanthropic sect, 
 The sect of Marat, Mirabeau, Voltaire, 
 Led by their Pontiff, good La Reveillere, 
 Rejoic'd our Clubs shall greet him, and install 
 The holy Hunch-back in thy dome, St. Paul ! 
 While countless votaries thronging in his train 
 Wave their Red Caps, and hymn this jocund strain? 
 
 " Couriers and SiarSy Sedition's Evening Host, 
 *' Thou Morning Chronicle^ and Morning fosty 
 " Whether ye make the Rights of Man your theme, 
 " Your Country libel, and your God blaspheme, 331 
 ^* Or dirt on private worth and virtue throw, 
 ** Still blasphemous or blackguard, praise Lepaux. 
 
 " And ye five other wandering Bards, that move 
 " In sweet accord of harmony and love, 
 <* Coleridge andSouthey, Loyd, and Lambe and Co. 
 <* Tune all your mystic harps to praise Lepaux ! 
 
 " Priestley and Wakefield, humble, holy men, 
 " Give praises to his name with tongue and pen ! 
 
 " Thelwal, 
 
 ** proscribed, they are to retire to a biirying-ground, to wrap 
 ** themselves up in their great coats, and wait the approach of 
 <• death,'* &c. 
 
[ 203 ] 
 
 " Thelwalj and ye that lecture as )^e go, 340 
 *' And for your pains get pelted, praise Lepaux! 
 
 ^' Praise him each Jacobin, or fool, or knave, 
 " And your cropped heads in sign of worship wave ! 
 
 *' All creeping creatures, venomous and low, 
 " Paine, Williams, Godwin, Holoroft, praise 
 Lepaux ! 
 
 " and with join'd, 
 
 *' And every other beast after his kind. 
 
 '' And thou Leviathan ! {qq) on ocean's brim 
 '' Hugest of living things that sleep and swim ; 
 '' Thou in whose nose by Burke's gigantic hand 330 
 '* The hook was fix'd to drag thee to the land, 
 
 *' With , , and (r) in thy train, 
 
 <6 And ' wallowing in the yesty main, (j) 
 •* Still as ye snort, and puff, and spout, and blow, 
 ♦' In puffing, and in spouting, praise Lepaux!'* 
 
 (qq) The D.of B rd. See the political Print of Leviathan^ 
 
 by Gilray. 
 
 (r) The Reader is at liberty to fill up the blanks according to 
 his own opinion, and after the chances and changes of the 
 times. It would be highly unfair to hand down to posterity as 
 followers oi Leviathan, the names of men who may, and pro- 
 bably will soon, grow ashamed of their leader, 
 (j) Though the yeasty sea 
 Consume and swallow navigation up. Macleth 
 
C 204 ] 
 
 Britain, beware; nor let the* insididus foe. 
 Offeree despairing, aim a deadlier blow. 
 Thy peace, thy strength, with devilish wiles assail. 
 And when her arms are vain, by arts prevail. 
 True, thou art rich, art powerful I thro' thine Isle 
 Industrious skill, contented labour, smile; ,361 
 Far seas are studded with thy countless sails; 
 What wind but wafts them, and what shore but hails I 
 True, thou art brave ! o'er all the busy land 
 In patriot ranks embattled myriads stand; 
 Thy foes behold with impotent amaze. 
 And drop the lifted weapon as they gaze ! 
 
 But what avails to guard each outward part. 
 If subtlest poison, circling at thy heart. 
 Spite of thy courage, of thy pow'r, and wealth, 370 
 Mine the sound fabric of thy vital health > 
 
 So thine own Oak, by some fair streamlet's side 
 
 , Waves its broad arms, and spreads its leafy pride, 
 
 Tow'rs from the earth, and rearing to the skies 
 
 It's conscious strength, the tempest's wrath defies; 
 
 It's ample branches shield the fowls of air. 
 
 To its cool shade the panting herds repair ; 
 
 The treacherous current works its noiseless wa)''. 
 
 The fibres loosen, and the roots decay, 
 
 Prostrate 
 
C 205 ] 
 
 Prostrate the beauteous ruin lies, and all 380 
 
 That shar'd its shelter, perish in its fall. 
 
 O thou ! lamented Sage 1 whose prescient scan 
 Pierced through foul Anarchy's gigantic plan. 
 Prompt to incredulous hearers to disclose 
 The guilt of France, and Europe's world of woes; 
 Thou, on whose name each distant age shall gaze. 
 The mighty sea-mark of these troubled days! 
 Olarge of soul, of genius unconfined. 
 Born to delight, instruct, and mend mankind ! 
 Burke ! in whose breast a Roman ardour glow'd j 390 
 Whose copious tongue with Grecian richness flow'd j 
 Well hast thou found (if such thy Country's doom) 
 A timely refuge in the sheltering tomb ! 
 
 As, in far realms, where Eastern kings are laid, 
 In pomp of death, beneath the cypress shade. 
 The perfum'd lamp with unextinguish'd light 
 Flames thro' the vault,and cheers the gloom of night ; 
 So mighty Burke! in thy sepulchral urn, 
 To Fancy's view, the lamp of Truth shall burh^ 
 Thither late times shall turn their reverent eyes^ 400 
 Led by thy light, and by thy wisdom wise. 
 
 There are^ to whom {their taste such pleasures cloy) 
 No light thy wisdom yields, thy wit no joy. 
 
 Peace 
 
[ 206 ] 
 
 [ Peace to their heavy heads, and callous hearts^ 
 Peace — such as sloth, as ignorance imparts ! 
 Pleas'd may they live to plan their Country's good, 
 And crop with calm content their flow'ry food ! 
 
 What though thy vent'rous spirit lov'd to urge 
 The labouring theme to Reason's utmost verge, 
 Kindling and mounting from th* enraptured sight; 
 Still anxious wonder watch'd thy daring flight! 411 
 While vulgar minds, with mean malignant stare, 
 Gaz'd up, the triumph of thy fall to share; 
 Poor triumph ! price of that extorted praise. 
 Which still to daring Genius Envy pays. 
 
 Oh I for thy playful smile, thy potent frown. 
 To' abash bold Vice, and laugh pert Folly down ! 
 So should the Muse in Humour's happiest vein. 
 With verse that fiow'd in metaphoric strain. 
 And apt allusions to the rural trade, 420 
 
 Tell oi what wcod young Jacobins are made; 
 How the skiird Gardener grafts with nicest rule 
 The sliji of Coxcomb, on the stock of Fool ; 
 Forth in bright blossom bursts the tender sprig, 
 A thing to wonder at, {t) perhaps a IVhig: 
 
 Should 
 
 it) ;, f. Perhaps a Member af the Whig Club— a Society 
 
 which 
 
[ 207 ] 
 
 Should tell, how wise each half-fledg'd pedant prates 
 
 Of weightiest matters, grave distinctions states ; 
 
 That rules of policy, and public good. 
 
 In Saxon times were rightly understood ; 
 
 That Kings are proper, may be useful things, 430 
 
 But then some Gentlemen object to Kings; 
 
 That in all times the Minister's to blame; 
 
 That British Liberty's an empty name. 
 
 Till each fair burgh, numerically free. 
 
 Shall choose its Members by the Ride of Three, 
 
 So should the Muse, with verse in thunder cloth'd» 
 Proclaim the crimes by God and Nature loath'd ; 
 Which, when fell poison revels in the veins, 
 (That poison fell, which frantic Gallia drains 
 From the crude fruit of Freedom's blasted tree) 440 
 Blots the fair records of Humanity. 
 
 To feebler nations let proud France afford 
 Her damning choice, the chalice or the sword j, 
 To drink or die; oh fraud! oh specious lie ! 
 
 Delusive choice ! for ^ they drink, they die. 
 
 The 
 
 which has presumed to monopolize to itself a title to which it 
 never had any claim, but from the character of those who have 
 now withdrawn themselves from it. — " Perhaps'''' signifies that 
 tven the Whig Club sometimis rejects a candidate, whose prin-' 
 Cii'LEs (risum teneatis) it affects to disapprove. 
 
[ 2o8 ] 
 
 The sword we dread not : of ourselves' secure. 
 Firm were our strength, our Peace and Freedom sure. 
 Let all the world confederate all its pow'rs, 
 *' Be they not backed by those that should be curs,'* 
 High onhisrock shall Britain's GENiusstand, 450 
 Scatter the crowded hosts^ and vindicate the land. 
 
 Guard we but our own hearts : with constant view 
 To ancient morals, ancient manners true. 
 True to the manlier virtues, such as nerv'd 
 Our fathers' breasts, and this proud Isle preserved 
 For many a rugged age : and scorn the while 
 Each philosophic atheist's specious guile. 
 The soft seductions, the refinements nice. 
 Of gay morality, and easy vice j 
 So shall we brave the storm; our 'stablish'd pow'r 
 Thy refuge, Europe, in some happier hour. 461 
 But, French/;^ hearty tho' victory crown our brow. 
 Low at our feet though prostrate nations bow, 
 Wealth gild our cities, commerce crowd our shore, 
 London may shine, but England is no more, 
 
 .■ ...^r, . THE END. 
 
C 209 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 SHADE 
 
 O F 
 
 ALEXANDER POPE 
 
 ■a 
 ON THE 
 
 BANKS OF THE THAMES. 
 
 A SATIRICAL POEM. 
 
 but not wholly, by the residence of 
 Esq^: £x-Rcpre 
 
 WITH NOTES. y^ / y/^v '"""^ 
 
 Occasioned chiefly, but not wholly, by the residence oF'Henry GraTtan, 
 
 RcpresentatiYe in Parliament for the City of Dublin, at "" 
 
 Twickenham, in November, 1798. 
 
 Voce fu per me udita, 
 Onorate I'altissimo Poeta 1 
 UQmbra lua torna. 
 
 Dante Inf. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR 
 
 OF 
 
 THE PURSUITS OF LITERATURE, 
 
 FIRST PRINTED IN I799. 
 
 Q. 
 
C SIX ] 
 
 Pindar* Fyth^ x< 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 This Poem was chief y occafioned by the perufal of 
 Dr. Patrick Duigenan's Anfwer to the Addrefs of Mr. 
 Grattan to his Fellow Citizens of Dublin, [a) I considered the 
 Address and the Answer with that attention, earnestness, and 
 zeal which the importance of such a Cause, at this present 
 tour, requires and demands ; and I considered it in this 
 inanner, because whatever affefts Ireland, must afFeft the 
 existence and safety of Great Britain, and of all the dependen- 
 cies, territories, and possessions annexed to the Crown. 
 
 I think 
 
 {a) See " An Answer to the Address of Henry Grattan, 
 Ex-representative of the City of Dublin in Parliament, to his 
 fellow Citizens of Dublin, by Patrick Duigenan, L. L. D. a 
 Citizen of Dublin, and one of the Reprefentatives of the 
 City of Armagh." 3d edit, with Additions, Dublin, printed 
 forMilliken, Grafton-street, 1798. and for J. Wright, Picca- 
 ^illy^ London. 
 
 Q 2 
 
C ^i^ ] 
 
 I think Dr. Duigenan might have adopted the very word$ 
 of Cicero against Antony. That Orator requested indul- 
 gence and attention when he spoke of himself; but as to the 
 enemy of his country, he exclaimed with confidence, 
 *' Contra ilium cum dicam, faciam ut attente audiatis.(^)'' 
 A more masterly, just, and irresistible piece of argument 
 has seldom appeared ; and if the eloquence suffers any abate- 
 ment, it is from the adrnission of some expressions which 
 might, and should, have been avoided. But a mind 
 intent on great and national matters, urgent in their nature 
 and allowing of no delay, cannot always attend to the minuter 
 elegances and graces of diction. 
 
 In Dr. Duigenan's Answer, I perceive the vigour, the 
 manlinefs, the courage, the impetuosity, the indignation, 
 and the thunder of an orator, feeling for the wrongs of his 
 country, and the horror of rebellion, against a Man, whose 
 political conduct and character have ranked him among the 
 domestic enemies of Ireland. Againft a man, who appears 
 to have imposed himself upon his credulous country, under 
 the pretence of brilliant talents and rhetorical exertions. 
 Against a man who boasts that in the hour of distress, he 
 EXTORTED from the timid and feeble Minister of the day, 
 and from an improvident Britilh Parliament, such conces- 
 sions, as have been since proved to be inconvenient, and some- 
 times in direct opposition to the essential welfare of Ireland. 
 Against a man, who received the most extravagant and 
 disproportioned rewards for very equivocal services, and who 
 has now {c) fled to England from his own country, from 
 that hue and cry of every loyal subject, which pursue^ 
 him from the Castle, to the fliop and to the cottage. 
 
 I have no concern with Mr. Grattan but in his public 
 capacity, as his actions, his writings, and his speeches 
 
 have 
 {B) Philipp. 3. Ic) Nov. 179S, 
 
C 213 J 
 
 have demonstrated and declared it to the world. He lias 
 signed with bis own hand all the doctrines, which have been 
 discussed, exposed, arid confuted. 
 
 In Mr. Grattan*s Address we find, as I think, false 
 facts, even of the day, false history, false reasoning, false 
 premises, and false conclusions. There is inanity of sound, 
 and shallowness of argument. We observe the glosses of 
 the sophist, and all the purple patches in the rhetorician's 
 cloak. It is such a tissue of the most unfounded assertions, 
 rebellious doctrines, and treasonable sentiments, as have 
 discovered, and proved to the loyal subjects of Great Bri- 
 tain and Ireland, who and what Mr. Grattan is. 
 But I refer to the caustic discussions of Dr. Duigenan, 
 whose answer, I hope, will be read in. this country ; for it 
 does not concern Ireland alone. 
 
 When William Wood and his associates had been con- 
 founded by the eloquence and energy of Dean Swift, (a 
 man to whom Mr. Grattan bears not the least resemblance 
 in the powers of his mind,) the Copper Captain of that 
 day ^continued his calumnies in the newspapers. I think 
 that Mr. Grattan has been so examined, so exposed, so 
 probed to the quick in his political capacity by Dr. Duige- 
 nan, that his letters, full of sound and fury in the Dublin 
 and London Newspapers, and signifying little, can be con- 
 sidered only as shrieks similar to those of William Wood, in 
 similar agonies. Some of his doctrines, and public conduct, 
 are briefly exposed in this Poem ; as suck statesmen should 
 be held up to the public in every point of view, that we 
 may always know who and what they are, and judge them 
 from their own mouths. " Licet omnibus, licet etiam mihi, 
 
 Q 3 " dignitatem 
 
i 214 I 
 
 " digtiitatem Patriae tueri : potestas modo venicndr ui puW 
 " licum sit, dicendi periculum non recuso (^).** 
 
 I have observed, that this Poem was occasioned chiefly, 
 but not wholly, by the appearance and residence of Mr. 
 Grattan in the village of Twit*nam on the banks of the 
 Thames, the ancient and favourite abode of our great Poet* 
 It is not unnatural to imagine his indignation at such vici- 
 nity. No man could have felt greater horror at the 
 scenes of democratic France, the papal fanatic s, and re- 
 bellious diforganizers of Ireland, and the projected, but 
 baffled, plots of the Jacobins in Great Britain, than Mr» 
 Pope, 
 
 To suppose indeed^ that the spirits of departed Poets 
 are acquainted with the pjassing scenes of this lower world, 
 is an indulgence which has always been granted. I think 
 no apology for the supp^ition can be required or expected; 
 But if any person should be so very reasonable, and so 
 very unpoetical as to demand it, I must consign him to 
 the cijstody of the Governor of Tilbury Fort in the days 
 of Queen Elizabeth, who declared, that no man can see 
 what is not to be seen, or hear, what is not to be heard, [e) 
 A sentence indeed of great truth, but which, I fear, would 
 overthrow from -their foundation, some of the best poetical 
 fabrics in every language^ 
 
 It has been declared of Satire, {J) that " She alone 
 ** of all her poetical sisters is unconquerable, never to be 
 *• silencedj when truly inspired and animated, as should 
 
 ** seem 
 
 (d) Cicero, Philipp. i« 
 (#) Mr. Sheridan's Critic, Aft ». {/) By Warburt^n* 
 
^* acem from above, for this very purpose, to oppose (tK^ 
 ** power and influence of) dulness, (conceit, democracy 
 " and wickedness^ to her very last breath." In these d^ays, 
 the various objects which offer, or rather force themselves 
 upon our notice, are very numerous, and many of them are 
 considered in this Poem. But no subject whatsoever is 
 introduced which has not some reference to the welfare, 
 support, and stability of these kingdoms, and their consti- 
 tutional government, in this hour of danger and experiment. 
 There is no subject in it which the great moral and national 
 Poet, who is supposed to speak, would not have thought 
 worthye'*her of his casual notice, or of mature consideration, 
 or of jocular allusion and easy pleasantry, or of his most 
 severe and most powerful Satire. If I have read Mr. Pope*s 
 works aright, I think he would, at this hour, have adopted 
 the patriotic words of him, who declared that a Poet was 
 nearly and closely allied to an Orator : " Erigite animos ; 
 ** retinete vestram dignitatem. Manet ilia in Republica 
 *• bonorum consensio ; dolor accessit bonis viris, virtus 
 ** non est imminuta."(^) 
 
 Upon this consideration, if Satire should exalt herself, 
 and if her language should become bold and of ancient: 
 potency, it is unjust to attribute it to ill-nature, or to malignity. 
 It is the deliberate, keen sensation of a mind feeling for the 
 human nature and the hum.an character, for the ruin, the 
 degradation, the confusion, or the disturbance of a well-order- 
 ed state, and of that morality, and of those principles which 
 can alone uphold it. It must then be regarded, (as a man 
 ■whose thoughts were deep, and whose views were clear and 
 comprehenfive, once expressed himself,} " Not as malice, 
 
 " fcut 
 
 ii) Fragment Orationis in Clodium : 
 
 ap. Cicer, Epist. ad Attic. L. i. E, 16. 
 
 <24 
 
C ^i6 3 
 
 ** but indignation and resentment against vice and wicked* 
 ** ness. It is one of the common bonds, by which Society 
 ** is held together ; a fellow-feeling, which each individual 
 " has in behalf of the whole species, as well as of himself. 
 ** And it does not appear that this, generally speaking, is at 
 " all too high among mankind." When the sustaining 
 principles are in danger, we must look and act beyond 
 ourselves. The connection of the well-disposed must be 
 closer than ever ; for safety is in coherence alone, and in 
 the order of the state. It is well expressed by Plato, I 
 think in his Tiraeeus, when he is discoursing on the ceco- 
 nomy of the Universe, the arrangement, the disposition, 
 and the consequent stability of the whole ; 
 Ats>coo-/x75cr£, li^tc^l^, STNESTHSEN. 
 
 We should feel all selfishness of spirit subdued by the 
 time. We should cast away the petty interests and low 
 considerations of mere literary prudence, and the contemp.. 
 tible submission to half-measures. We should feel them 
 sinking and giving way, when we acknowledge in common 
 with every man who will reflect deeply, what a debt of gra- 
 titude we owe to our ancestors who established our Consti- 
 tution ; and how great the duty is of each individual to lend 
 his support to his own country, when publicly attacked, 
 or secretly undermined. Resistance must be bold, deter- 
 mined, and unshrinking, or it is ineffectual; nay, it is 
 worse than no resistance at all. With political knowledge, 
 well or ill understood, is now involved every thing which 
 is valuable and worth preservation. Morality, religion, 
 the laws, literature, our domestic safety, and individual 
 property must perish in the common shipwreck. 
 
 In whatever we are at present engaged, the Cause is 
 just and righteous. It is a war unsought ani unprovoked 
 
 by 
 
[ 217 3 
 
 by our aggressions ; a war just, justifiable, and necessary 
 for self-defence, but extended beyond all powers of our 
 original conception. I hope and trust we shall still be 
 the instrun^ents of a general preservation, and of the 
 deliverance of Europe from the overbearing, desolating, 
 
 and UNRELENTING TYRANNY OF FRANCE, by a 
 
 mighty co-operation and an inflexible league. But above 
 all, the internal peace, the quiet, the safety, the authority 
 of the legal powers, the institutions, the manners, and the 
 laws, within the precincts of our own Island, are the most 
 immediate and dearest objects of all our labours, our expences, 
 our arms, and our trophies ; worthy of unremitting vigilance, 
 and of united vigour ! 
 
 Upon the general issue ; upon the great united contest ; 
 upon the powers of the North, and the strength of the East ; 
 on the Isles and the Continents of Europe, and of Asia; on 
 the shores of the Mediterranean ; through the Indian and 
 Atlantic waves ; on the states of America, and the invaded 
 deserts of Africa, the Cause one and the same is now 
 to be maintained, or lost for ever. There is a voice, (it was 
 the voice of an Imperial Poet, the friend of the Minister of 
 his day,) which may be now heard with effect by every 
 Nation, but by none with more peculiar emphasis and pro*- 
 priety than by Great Britain and Ireland : 
 
 Credite nunc omnes, quas dira Biitannia^ Gentes, 
 Quas Ister, quas Rhenus alit ! 
 
 Uno tot pr3elia vincite Bello; 
 Romanum reparate decus, molemque labantis 
 Imperii fulcite humeris: Hie omnia Campus 
 Vindicat; h^ec Mundo Pacem Victoria sancit! 
 
 November; 1798. 
 
 THE End of the Preface. 
 
r 219 3 
 
 ;^ 
 
 TH£ 
 
 SHADE of ALEXANDER POPE 
 
 ON THE 
 
 BANKS of the THAMES.Ca} 
 
 ** What accents, murmur'd o'er this hallow'd tomb*' 
 Break my repose, deep- sounding through the gloom ? 
 Would mortal strains immortal spirits reach. 
 Or earthly wisdom truth celestial teach ? 
 Ah! 'tis no holy calm that breathes around : 
 Some warning voice invites to yonder ground. 
 Where once with impulse bold, and manly fire, 
 I rous'd to notes of war my patriot lyre , 
 
 While 
 
 («) A Satirical Poem ; occasioned chiefly, but not wholly, 
 by the residence of Henry Grattan (Ex-Representative in 
 Parliament for the City of Dublin,) at Twit'nam ; November, 
 1798. I 
 
i 220 J 
 
 .-While Thames with every gale, or soft, or sttong^ 
 Sigh*d through my grotto, and diffused my song, id 
 
 Whence bursts that voice indignant on my ear > 
 ^o Britain ever faithful, ever dear, 
 E*en 710W my long-lov'd, grateful Country's Cause^ 
 Her fam'd pre-eminence, her state, her laws. 
 Can touch my temper of ethereal mould. 
 Free as great Dryden, and as Milton, bold* 
 Sadly the scene I view, how chang'd, how lost! 
 The statesman's refuge once, and poet's boast; 
 I hear the raven's hoarse funereal cry. 
 
 Since all, whom ^reland spares, to Twifnam\aa) ily^ 
 
 • t^ • 
 
 The polish'd Nestor of the classic shore, 2 1 
 
 Mendip, {b) my green domain can guard no more; 
 
 E'en Cambridge {c) droops, who once with tuneful 
 
 tongue 
 
 The gifts of science, and her wand'rings sung; 
 
 With 
 {aa) Mr, Pope generally spelt the word in this manner. 
 
 (^j The Right Hon. Welbore Ellis, Baron Mendip, the pre- 
 sent possessor of Mr, Pope's villa at Twit'nam. 
 {c) Richard Owen Cambridge, Esq[. a distinguished veteran 
 
 in 
 
I ^21 3 
 
 With Him, whom Themis and the Muses court. 
 The learned Warden of his little Fort, (d) 
 
 For their best tafk my Sylphs are all unfit, 
 While more than Gnomes along the meadows flit : 
 No more my fabled phantoms haunt the plains. 
 Where Moloch now, in right of Umbriel, reigns; 
 His bands from their Hibernian Tophet pass, 3 1 
 And clash the cymbal's visionary brass. 
 Or round my groves, sublime on murky wing. 
 Spells of revolt and revolution fling ; 
 And as they glide, unhallow'd vapours shed 
 On that false Fugitive's inglorious head. 
 
 Whence, and what art thou, Grattan? has 
 the shock. 
 And terror Ipw'ring o'er the sable rock, 
 
 Hurl'd 
 
 in literature and the polite arts. His poem entitled " T//e 
 ScribkriatP^ is a work of great fancy, just composition, and 
 poetical elegance; but above all, of mature judgment conspi- 
 cuous throughout. It should be read as well for instruction, at 
 amusement ; and the preface is entitled to much attention. 
 
 {d) George Hardinge, Esq. a man of genius, learning, and 
 
 eloquence, 
 
t *a2 ] 
 
 Hurrd thee astounded with tumultuous fears. 
 From Ireland's muttered curse, from Ireland's tears? 
 For thee no vistos ope, no friendly glade, 4; 
 
 No Muse invites thee to my sacred shade 5 
 No airs of peace from heaven thy presence greet ; 
 Blasts from Avernus, in respondence meet. 
 Hoarse through the leafless branches howl aroundj 
 And birds of night return the^ obscener sound, 
 
 From thee, whatever thy fame, I spurn all praise j 
 My lyre ne'er answer'd to Rebellion's lays; 
 With other lore my purer groves resound, 
 With other wreaths these temples once were bound| 
 Nor shall my green sepulchral laurel stand 
 By Gallic mercy, and a Marian hand, §^ 
 
 Hence, and thy baffled Gallic jargon try 
 On coward slaves, in abject tyranny : 
 
 Know 
 
 eloquence, M. P. one of the Welsh Judges. He is the presenf 
 possessor of the villa, called <« ^Ragman's Castle'* at Twit'nan^ 
 by the banks of theThames. (Nov s 1798.) 
 
[ 223 3 
 
 ICnow^ thy twice'Con(iuer*d{d) Britons still advance J 
 No chains from Pitt they fear, nor humbled France | 
 From their best source each mingled blessing draw. 
 Content with freedom, property, and law; 
 Secure they own their monarch's rightful rod, 
 His friend, the people; his Creator, God. (e) 6c» 
 
 Hear then thy doctrines, and thy patriot love : 
 ?* Kings are but satellites; (ee) the people, Jove; 
 
 Priestcraft's 
 
 (d) ** The English have been conquered, Jirst^ by the Mi- 
 nister, and afterwards^ by the French." Henry Grattan*s 
 /Vddress to his Fellow-Citizens of Dublin, p. 37. 
 
 (e) ** In the people it would only be rebellion against their 
 (reature<i the King; in the other (i. e. in the King) it would bq 
 Rebellion against his Creator^ the People." Grattan. p. la. Such 
 is the unblushing doctrine of a Rhetorician. Cicero says to 
 Lucceius, Ehistola non eruhescit; and Mr, G, (if he has read 
 Cicero) believes the doctrine. 
 
 {ei) " Kings are but satellites; zn^ your freedom is the lumi- 
 nary which has called them to the skies.'* Grattan. p. 40. It 
 would perplex any understanding, to explain the meaning of 
 these words; or to tell, (if art could tell) honv the satellites of a 
 metaphorical planet are called to the skies by a Luminary? I have 
 in charity given the Satellites a primary planet, which Mr. G; 
 forgot in the fervor of his political astronomy. But after all, 
 I suppose, it is only a beautiful rhetorical expression alluding 
 to the murder of llouis the Sixteenth, or the modern demo- 
 cratic mode of ** calling Kings to the skies,*'^ 
 
I 224 J 
 
 *^ Priestcraft's a falling cause, (/) from folly sprung, 
 
 ** WhenSaturn reign'd, or when the Pope was young; 
 
 ^' Religion boasts no more a royal rule, (g) 
 
 ^' Or great Mathesis an imperial school. 
 
 ^' Self-legislation (gg) to the mob restore ; (/^) 
 
 *^ This is Reform; corruption is no more : 
 
 " Reason 
 
 (/) ** Priestcraft is a falling cause, and a superannuated 
 " folly.** Grattan, p. 22.— -If VnesUraft means the juggling or 
 jdeceit of Priests, I hope it is falling, and will fall for ever. 
 But I think, no man of sober enquiry and of a cultivated 
 understanding, who admits the truth of Christianity, can 
 ever apply with sense, honesty, or justice, the term Priest- 
 craft, to such an Esfahlishmnt of it, as the Church of England, 
 dependent, as it is, on the general law of the land for its support, 
 rights, and constitution. I am here speakingonly of the modes 
 of religious worship as they affect civil society, between which 
 there is an important relation, and a close connection. Mr. 
 Grattan's " popular and energetic Romanists^"* could tell him 
 what Vrmtcraft is. 
 
 {g) ** We know of no royal rule for religion or mathe- 
 matics.** Grattan, p. 21. I only notice this, to mark the 
 folly of the rhetorician in it's application. 
 
 {gg) One peculiar feature of Mr. Grattan's inconsistency 
 (now a favourite term) is this : In his Address to the Citizens of 
 Dublin, he recpmmends and enforces self-legislatipn, absolute 
 and unqualified, to Ireland ; and in his speech on Mr. Fox's 
 motion in the British House of Commons, he asserted and 
 maintained the propriety (and consequently the legality) of 
 Appeals from the Parliament of Ireland to the British House of 
 Commons. 
 
t ^^s 3 
 
 ^- Reason commands ; go, fix hr limit strongs 
 *^ Monarchs are bound, but councils never wrong. 
 
 « What 
 
 (i) ''What method (says Mr. Grattan,) remains to limit 
 the monarchy of these kingdoms, Great Britain and Ireland^ 
 (it has now no limits) but by reforming Parliament (i. e. the 
 House of Commons)? What method to ;)r^x;f«/ a Revolution, 
 but a Reformation?" (i. e. of the H. of C.) What is the Re- 
 formation of Parliament? (i. e. of the H. of C.) but ih tesfo- 
 raiion to the people o^ self -legislation f — Without which there 
 is no liberty, as without Reform, no self-legislation. So vfs. 
 reasoned!!!'* Grattan, p. 40. In a preceding part of his 
 Address, Mr. Grattan says, ** It is the object of the Reform, 
 that Parliament (i. e. the H. of C.) should continue in contact 
 with the people always, and with the Minister never, except 
 the people should be in contact with him.'* Grattan, p. fi8 
 The beautiful ambiguity, equivocation, or rather the absolut<s 
 nonsense, of the word contact suits such an understanding as 
 that of the Ex-Representative of the City of Dublin. " Tan- 
 tamne rem tarn negligenter, tam indiserte,, tarn impudenter?" 
 Perhaps Mr. Grattan may be of the same opinion with a 
 seditious scribbler, one M'Cormick, concerning the many 
 headed monster, the Irish Dragon, " whose teeth (as 
 *' M'Cormick tells us) are sown, and must ere long spring up 
 ** in hosts of armed Patriots^ not with frantic rage to point their 
 ** spears at each others breasts, but to fertilize the soil and 
 *' renovate the proverbial ^verdure of their Country, by thi; 
 *' BLOOD of it's cruel oppressors. "f—N. B. In the rural 
 ceconomics of Democracy, Blood is always the manure. 
 
 \ See a large pamphlet in 4to. published in 1798, which, 
 M'Cormick calls, «< The Life of Burke,'* p. 'Z^i. 
 
 R 
 
(C 
 
 [ 226 ] 
 
 What RightSy by theeproclaim'd, are equal (/)shewn? 
 
 Hussey's(^)tofreedom, Brunswick's tothe crown. 
 ^^ Britain no commerce spreads from pole to pole, 
 *^ Oppressed, without an empire to console; (/) 
 *' For her no ports expand beneath the line, 
 ** No friendly flags in Arctic splendours join; 
 ** Since Ocean's self republican {m^ is grown, 
 " She holds, like Delos, but a floating throne. 
 
 '' No 
 
 (/) ** The Catholics have, m truth and reason, as good 
 " a right to Liherty as his Majesty has to the Crown!*' 
 Grattan, p. 21. Such is the sport of a rhetorician with the 
 term Liheriy. 
 
 {k) Hussey, the Roman-Catholic, democratic, and sedi- 
 tious, titular Bishop of Waterford, See his Pastoral Letter, 
 &c. &c. 
 
 Pastorale canit signum ! cornuque recurvo 
 Tartaream intendit vocem. 
 
 (/) " The project — to put France at the head of Europe, 
 instead of Great Britain, while her people crouch under a weight 
 of debt and taxes, loithut an Empire to consolt^ or a constitution 
 to cover them." Grattan. ib. 38, 
 
 {m) *< We saw that these Islands, Great Britain and Ireland, 
 were now two kingdoms in a RfiPUBiiCAN Ocban/' &c, 
 Grattan, p, 39^ 
 
[ 127 1 
 
 ^^ No wisdom in finance, no patriot scheme, 
 
 *^ No modern care in borrowing to redeem,(«) 80 
 
 **^ No ConstitutiOn/d?r a cover (0) Jeftj 
 
 '' Of 
 
 (h) If Mr. Pitt's principle of Redempion in all loans had 
 been originally adopted at the Commencement of the Funding- 
 system, the national debt would have been but small even at 
 this period. 
 
 (0) See above ; Note (/) — I would here briefly consider Mr. 
 Grattan's pretensions to credit, as a Writer and an Orator, 
 from his own expressions. If indeed putting down sentence 
 after sentence in succession, however unconnected, confers on 
 a man the character of a Writer, Mr. Grattan has a claim to 
 that honour. If a torrent of '* wild and whirling words" 
 uttered vehemently and ungracefully, andof metaphors jostling 
 and supplanting each other, and wondering at their vnioa ia 
 the same sentence, constitute an Orator; who shall refuse that 
 title to the Ex-Representative of the City of Dublin ? His Ad- 
 dress is printed throughout with dashes ( — — — ) at the end, 
 and frequently in the middle, of almoft every sentence in it, 
 for stage efFe^l:, as I suppose. If these dashes do not beget 
 an awful attention, (like Mr. Sheridan's («) Moming-Gun^) 
 they certainly create surprise. But even the Shakespeare 
 Commentators would tell him, in their little way, that such 
 tricks are but " Laquei Ridiculosi, {h) or Springs for Wood- 
 cocks," which can only take etfect in " The Isle of Gulls."(^) 
 
 Mr. Grattan first tells his Fellow Citizens, that " they are 
 
 kind and gracious Masters-^'* such he has found them. He 
 
 R a also 
 
 {a) Critic, Act 2. 
 
 {b) A Collection of (Irish) Epigrams, &c. so called; printed 
 
 in 16 16. 
 
 (d) Name of a Comedy in 1606. 
 
C 228 J 
 
 Of rights, of liberty, of laws bereft. 
 
 State- 
 
 also acquaints them, that " They have found in Him an m/iro» 
 Jitahle Servant;" (^) and they agree to the doctrine without de- 
 murring. I know not from what part of his Address to begin a 
 selection of ;?«^ waiting; or to produce instances of whtt Tha- 
 mas Aquinas and ** the energetic, but not popular Romanist" 
 Schoolmen, term " the grace of congruity." 
 
 " Attend ! the curtain wide the Muse shall draw. 
 Nor shade from light, nor cover Him from Law." 
 
 In the discussion of an important subject Mr. Grattan first 
 describes The State, as *' a furious Wrestler;'* then sud- 
 denly it becomes *' an angry Father," and " an old fool;?'' 
 and then, in the very same sentence, by a rapid transition 
 from an attempt at sense to mere sound, we are informed,^ 
 lioia Mr. G. " saw the Minister retreating from the enemy with 
 ** as rapid a step as he advanced upon the people, going bach^ 
 ** and hack^ and back^ while the democratic principle was going 
 ** on, and on, and on, like a mist at the heels of a countryman," 
 &c. Then follows a beautiful description of the properties of ^ 
 Misty which nobody understands better than the Ex-Represen- 
 tative. He then tells his FeJlow-Citizens, with the best and 
 most peaceable intentions, and all in the same sentence, that 
 «* A naked man oppressed by the State is an armed Post ;" — 
 that " A few decent Bishops sent to the Tower against 
 . ** Law, produced {g) the Revolution-i^^ — that " Mr. Hampden, 
 *' and/ewr other innocent person* arraigned for High Treason, 
 
 *' produced: 
 
 (e) Grattan, p. ii. 
 
 {g) A Production of which Mr, G, seems to be particularly 
 fend. 
 
[ 229 ] 
 
 Stat€-quacks still hold thy prophylactics good. 
 
 To 
 
 *' /iroduceJ the Civil (h) War:'* — that Grey-coafeJ men, ^nd green 
 men (in certain circumstances,) ** have their political conse- 
 •* quence.'* And then, in the true style of a modern animal- 
 magnetizing Quack, he gravely assures them, that, " Sensible 
 *' acts of violence operate by symftathy,''^ — that ^^ They /20jsess 
 ** the air, as it were, by certain tender influences^ and spread the 
 *' kindred (I wonder he did not also add, the tender) Jiassion 
 ** through the ivJiole of the Community." (/) 
 
 But if the reader wishes to observe the eye of this Rhetori- 
 cian and Sophist rolling in his finest metaphorical phrenzy, 
 and with more than poetical boldness, let him hear the follow- 
 ing sentence, and perpend. Mr G rattan says: " In the Ame- 
 *' rican contest we saw, that Reform, which had been 6or?i: 
 •* in England and banished to America, {k) advanced like the 
 ** She/iherd Lad in Holy Writ, and overthrew Goliath. He 
 " (that is, the Shepherd Lad David,) " returned riding on the 
 ^^ waves of the Atlantic, and his Spirit moved upon the nvaters 
 ^^ofEurojier Yet attend: «' The royal Ship of France went 
 <* down — theBritishmanof war labours — Your vessel is affected. 
 
 R 3 Throw 
 
 (h) Another favourite /?WKf//o« of Mr. Grattan's. 
 (/) Grattan. p. 19. 
 
 (i) Throughout the wholeof Mr. Grattan's Address, by the 
 word or image, of Reform, he always means, *' A Refo/m in 
 *< the House of CommoDS." How this Reform " was born in 
 England and banished to America," remains for the Ex-Repre- 
 sentative to explain to Country- Gentlemen, and reconcile it 
 to common sense. But the transitions of meaning in a Rheto- 
 rician's words are frequent, and always suited to the moment. 
 ** i^EFORM (of the H. of C.) says Mr. G. is the principle of 
 ** attraction, round which the King and People would sjiin on 
 " quietly and insensibly in regtdar movements ^ &c. &c. Grattan 
 p. 40, — tjow pretty! Trosjulus exultet,. 
 
[ aso ] 
 
 ^'* To starve the spirit, (/J they remove the food," 
 
 Divine 
 
 «' Throw your people overboard, say your Ministers, and 
 *' hallast with your abuses. — Throw your abuses overboard, 
 ** we said, and ballast with your People." This is certainly 
 tne prime eloquence of the Quarter-Deck. It is however but 
 a specimen ; for I could proceed in this manner, from page to 
 page. 
 
 The more I consider Mr. G. as a writer, an orator, a 
 scholar, or in his pretensions to be a man of sense, the more I 
 discover in his Address talents without cultivation, knowledge 
 without discernment, and history without truth. The whole 
 as a Composition, with all its " mob of Metaphors, imlike 
 *' Similes, and iU-paired Figures," is beft described in Mf« 
 Popes's lines, 
 
 ?* All these the Rhetor, like Bceotia's Queen, 
 Beholds through frogs that magnify the scene; 
 He, tinsell'd o'er in robes of varying hues, 
 With self-applause his wild creation views; 
 Sees momentary monsters rise and fall. 
 And with his own fools colours gilds them all.*'(^) 
 
 Such is the Address, parts of which would disgrace the 
 exercise of a school-boy, delivered and publishedyor tke use of a. 
 Great Nation, by a Rhetorician who received Fifty 
 Thousand Pounds, as a national reward for his eloquence^ 
 abilities, and exertions, voted by a most discerning ParliameHt, 
 in an hour of epidemic zeal, or phrenzy. The Address pre- 
 tends to be the produdion of an Orator, a Statesman, and [a 
 Scholar, in a day of the most instant peril, and of general na- 
 tional distress, never before experienced or conceived;— by a 
 Fat RIOT, retiring from the scene of public affairs, to give 
 
 pubjiq; 
 
 (f) Dunciadj B. i. 
 
[ 231 ] 
 
 Divine Machaon ! should thy views extend. 
 Baker (q) must bow, and learned Milir.an (r) bend. 
 
 Hence then, and trace the Rhine's polluted flood. 
 The ruffian plunder, and the price of blood : 
 Mark the mild guardians of the Gallic land 1 
 Justice, the lion's portion in her hand; 90 
 
 Mercy, in tears o'er fallen sparrows shed. 
 Beneath her feet the murder'd Monarch's head j 
 
 Philanthropy 
 
 public counsel, and infuse wisdom, good sense, knowledge, 
 discretion, and the motives to action in his Fellow-Citizens, 
 when the fleets and armies cf the Directory of France were 
 hovering on the Coast of Ireland, fraught with desolation, 
 rebellion, revolution, and misery beyond all calculation. Such 
 is the patriotism, such is the discernment, such is the rheto- 
 ric, of Henry Grattan, Ex-representative of the City of 
 Dublin!!! (1798.) 
 
 (/ft) " It appeared to ?;/, that the icst way of starving that 
 spirit, vfzs to remove t^e/00^,'' Grattan. p. 16. 
 
 (q) Sir George Baker, Bart. Physician to the King, of 
 high professional character and learned accomplishments. 
 
 (r) Francis Milman, M. D. a Physician in London, of 
 
 great skill and eminence, and extensive practice ; a gentleman 
 
 of classical erudition, polite manners, and of a well-cultivated 
 
 understanding. 
 
 R4 
 
Philanthropy, that fain would fold the glqb^ 
 
 With arms fraternal, in a tyrant's robe i 
 
 See Directorial Chanceries elate 
 
 Stamp their diplomas for each neutral State; 
 
 LicenciaU Kings in humbled order stand. 
 
 Till Rewbell nods, to sweep them from the land, 
 
 'V^ ith horror now my purer fancy paints 
 lerne's clans, and democratic saints; (/) |o^ 
 
 Relics and rags on Gallic standards fly. 
 And the green rabble of the papal sky. (//) 
 Oh, if Helvetia yet thy soul alarms. 
 Who mourns her late resolve, and tardy arms| 
 Pause o'er the fragments of that vengeful storm, 
 Lo, Rocks, and Ruins, ily^^/^rj, and Reform 1 
 Then if one honest pang should rend thy breast, 
 f^ook homeward— ?indi let Conscience tell the rest. 
 
 Hence 
 
 (/) ** The popular and energetic Romanists, the Unitec| 
 Irishmen." Grattan. 
 
 (//) See at large Dr. Duigenan's masterly and irrefragable 
 arguments on the subject of the Roman Catholic religion an4 
 principles, in his answer to Mr» Grattan's Address. P. 41 i\ 
 45. and p. 1^3 to 141. 
 
C 233 ] 
 
 Hence to the field with Treason's victim's strewn ;■ 
 
 p^eap the dread harvest which thy hand has sown ; 
 
 The robe Pr^torian, {u) and the learned gown, 1 1^ 
 
 The' insulted Senate, and the loyal town, 
 
 (Each smuggled honour from thy temples torn,) 
 
 Brand thee alike with epidemic scorn. .1 
 
 l^ow loyal flames extend from sire to son ; 
 
 Cornwall IS {w) shall compleat, what Clare 
 
 begun ; 
 
 The storm, by awful justice taught to roll. 
 
 With Patrick's (;f^ lightning shoot through Grattan*s. 
 
 soul 5 
 
 One 
 
 (v) The freedom of the City of Dublin, &c. &c: &c. Baa . 
 |)een taken from Mr. Grattan by the vote of the Citizens, 
 J^'reemen, &c. and his pidure removed from the College. 
 
 (to) Marouis Cornwallis, Lieutenant Governor, &c. 
 3:c. of Ireland, 1798. I cannot better characterize this great 
 and good man, when the tenor of his virtuous and honourable 
 |ife, and of his public conduct military and civil, taken upon the 
 whole, is impartially considered, than in the following lines : 
 
 ** Non qui praecipiti traheret simul omnia casuj 
 Sed qui maturo vel laeta, vel aspera, rerum 
 Consilio momenta regens, nee tristibus impar, 
 Nee pro successu nimius, sjiatiumque morandi^ 
 ^incendiqut jnodum mutatis nosset habenis.'* ^ 
 
C ^34 3 
 
 ^ne heaft, one hand unite each sister realm. 
 Direct the force, and guide one common helm. 120 
 Hence, nor presume with hateful steps to rove 
 By Twitnam's shore, or Windsor's royal grove. 
 
 Go rather, and thy wayward measures fill, 
 " Where the young Wantons ^-^oxi on Anna's hilli'*(z) 
 Blue-bells and red-caps on each bush shall blow. 
 While Erikine prattles, and while Seine shall flow. 
 See there the midnight solemn tapers shine, 
 ^So Gilray's {a) patriot pencil rais'd the Shrine j) 
 
 Whil<; 
 
 {x) See the Answer of Dr. Patrick Duigenan to Mr, Grat^ 
 tan's Address. — I refer to what is said in the preface to thi* 
 poem. 
 
 (js) " Or where ye, Muses, sport on Cooper's Hill} 
 On Cooper's Hill eternal wreaths shall grow, 
 While lasts the mountain, and while Thames shall flow.'* 
 
 Vope's Wind/or Forest. 
 
 N. B. St. Anne's Hill is the seat of the Hon. Charles Jame? 
 Fox. 
 
 {a) James Gilray ; the political Hogarth of the present day. 
 His pencil has been, and continues to be, of essential service 
 in the public cause of Great Britain and Irelai^d. In some of 
 the higher efforts of his genius, such as, *' The Sun of the 
 Constitution,---The Homage of Leviathan— The Shrine at St. 
 
 Anne's 
 
C m ] 
 
 While choral Daemons, from the gulph beneath, 
 Marseilles' dire notes in hoarser accents breathe, 134 
 Tartarian anthems ! mix'd with sullen moans 
 Of bleeding martyrs, and rebellious groans. 
 Mark well the couch, whence Charles from slumber 
 
 starts 
 At heads, which Treason join'd, and Justice parts; 
 Blood-bolter'd Hamilton {b) for vengeance calls. 
 Vengeance re-echoes from the Castle walls. 
 Then view the scene, where Charles with senates tir*<l 
 Stung by contempt, with Gallic phrenzy fir'd, 
 Shunn'd by the Nobles, by the Commons spurn'd. 
 While with infuriate thought his bosom burn'd, 14Q 
 In treason-taverns bold, addressed the ring, 
 ^ow'd to his Sovereign^ (r) and forgot his King. 
 
 But 
 
 Anne*? Hill," and others which might be named, it is justice 
 to say, that the design, skill, execution, and intention deserve 
 the highest praise. Mult^e Veneris^ cum ponder e et arte. 
 
 {h) The Rev. and unfortunate Dr. Hamilton, one of the first 
 yiftims of the Irish Rebellion. 
 
 {c) Le Peuple Souverain! as the French Jacobin tyrants 
 term it, and, " The Sovereignty of the People," as the 
 English Jacobins echo it. I am astonished that such non- 
 sensical democratic babble can be endured any longer, even 
 |t a tavern from Mr. Barrister Erskine, 
 
t ^36 ] 
 
 But soft 5 prepare the' unwelcome truth to heari 
 That Botanist (a) may whisper in your ear. 
 Few plants will bear the test of English ground. 
 It proves the race (J) corrupt, the root unsound ; 
 And Grattan, markM for ever, shall retain 
 Hibernian forehead^ and Hibernian brain. 
 
 Time was, when Statesmen, high in fame and place^ 
 With proud distinction my retreat would grace; 150 
 Would court my friendship, soothe my aching head, 
 By study soften'd, and, ^^ with books well-bred |" 
 Fond to unbend, they sought familiar easej 
 I never flatter'd, yet could always please. 
 Then oft with Ministers would Genius walk : 
 Oxford and St. John lov'd with Swift to talk| 
 Dorset with Prior, and with Queensb*ry, Gay, 
 And Hallifax with Congreve charm'd the day ; 
 The Muse her Addison to Somers join'd. 
 The noblest Statesman to the purest {e) mind. 160 
 
 But 
 
 {cc) Mr. Fox, the Linnaeus of St. Anne's Hill. 
 
 (^) 1. c. The flavour of the soil ; the word race is appliccj 
 by Sir W. Temple to the natural force of the intellect. See 
 Temple's Essay on Gardens, 
 
[ ^37 3 
 
 But in these dark, forlorn, distracted days. 
 Though D'Arcy smil'd, and foster'd Mason*s lays^: 
 Few friends are found for poetry and wit, 
 From North well-natur'd to imperial Pitt. 
 Yet when his Country's deep-felt interest calls^ 
 Himself shall plant the standard on the walls ; 
 Duty (ee) shall urge, what talents vainly claim 
 By native lustre, and untitled name. 
 
 But oh, what scenes, what varied wonders press,> 
 What visionary forms my fancy bless ! 170 
 
 Now 
 
 (e) Mr. Pope is here supposed to speak of Mr. Addison 
 without remembrance of their jealousies and disagreements; 
 and as Mr. Addison deserved of mankind, 
 
 ** Their tears, their little triumphs o'er. 
 
 Their human passions now no more, 
 
 Save Charity, that glows beyond the torab." 
 
 Graj, 
 
 {jie) From some late attentions, which have done the Mi- 
 nister honour, and even from the dedication of Mr. Maurice's 
 Second Volume of the History of Hindostan to Mr. Pitt, I am 
 inclined to express the wish of the Poet ; 
 
 Kinc priscae redeant artes j felicibus inde 
 Ingeniis pandatur iter ^ despectaque Musat 
 -Colla levent t 
 
[ ^3^ ] 
 
 Now fears deject, now blessings round me smile/ 
 The follies, and the glories of the Isle, 
 
 Supplies are prompt for Pitt's directing hand; 
 Pactolus rolls through all the wealthy land; 
 May Pitt with Tully's speech his wisdom hold. 
 He never said, (Economy is cold^f) 
 No, 'tis the life-blood, feeding all the state, 
 The source of all that's safe, and all that's great: 
 Hence palaces for Bankrupt-Bankers rise, {ff) 
 And Monarchs wonder with enquiring eyes* 1 8« 
 
 A voice exclaims, in dread financial search, 
 ^^ Commute the Tythesy^ and, I05 a falling Church ! 
 
 On 
 
 (/) An expression of Mr, Pitt's in the H. of C. in Novem- 
 ber, 1798, but imprudent, however qualified. " Magnum Vec- 
 tigal est Parsimonia," were the words of Cicero. The want of 
 ceconomy, (I know what I advance) is the chief zndi prominent 
 defect of Mr. Pitt's administration. With what ease might it 
 be remedied ! 
 
 But in the great and master principles of government, by 
 which alone the constitution of these kingdoms, and of all 
 civilized society in Europe can be maintained, I am ready, 
 with every loyal and reflecting subject, to declare and to style 
 Mr. Pitt, the 
 
 EVERSO JUVENIS NATUS SUCCURRERE SACLo! 
 
 iJF) Some abuses of this kind should be looked into ; what i% 
 granted liberally, should be expended wisely. 
 
[ «39 } 
 On sabbath's violated (g) eve I see 
 The' unhallow'd combat, by the murderer's tree; 
 Reflect, State-Suicides, while Empires nod. 
 None serve their country who forget their God* 
 
 By Scott unaw'd, behold Ambrosio (^) standi 
 
 And Lewis braves the justice of the land : 
 
 Avonius sneaks, his daily progress known, 
 
 A rustic hermit peering o'er the town; 190 
 
 Carlisle is lost with Gillies in surprize, 
 
 » 
 As Lysias (/) charms soft Jersey's classic eyes : 
 
 Knight {k) half recants ; the luscious Darwin sings 5 
 
 The Baby (/) Rhymer flaps his flimsy wings; 
 
 ^Vhile, 
 
 (^) Excidat ilia dies sevo, ne postera credant 
 
 Saecula ! nos ccrte taceamus.— 
 (^) Ambrosio, or The Monk, a Romance, by M, Lewis, 
 Esq. M. P.— See the Remarks upon it in the Preface to the 
 the Fourth Dialogue of the Pursuits of Literature. 
 
 (/■) An Athenian Orator, whose works attracted Lady Jer* 
 scy's attention through the medium of Dr. Gillies's translation. 
 The Oration on Eratosthenes is rather singular. 
 
 {k) See his Preface to the Second Volume of the Ionian 
 Antiquities published by the Dilettanti Society. 
 
 (/) Edward Jerningham, Esq; of whom Mr, Giflford 
 thus sings in the Baviad j 
 
 " See sniveling Jerningham at fifty weep 
 0*cr love-lorn oxen, and deserted sheep.'' 
 
t HO I 
 
 I While He, whose lightestworks might soothe theiarid^ 
 Like the dull ostrich drops them in the sand. 
 
 Through air, fire, earth, howunconfinM we rangef 
 What veil has Nature now ? what works are strange? 
 All mark each varied mode of heat and light, 
 From the spare Rumford to the pallid Knight ; 200 
 Though Watson's aid in vain his Chemia calls, 
 The modest {m) Hatchett no fatigue appalls : 
 The Elements contract 3 the water fnj flies ; 
 Balloons ascend, gas quickens, spirit dies. 
 Trace all the rural whims, that sprout and spread 
 In branches intricate through Sinclair's head, 
 Who ships, in ploughs, in oxen, Tritons sees. 
 The waves, in furrows, and in masts, the trees. (0) 
 
 Behold 
 
 (m) Charles Hatchett, Esq. F.R.S. a gentleman of ingenuity, 
 and of liberal, intense application to the study of Chemistry. 
 The R. S. presented him with their medal for his chemical re- 
 searches in 1798. Much may be expected from the ability and 
 patient labours of this gentleman. 
 
 («) Alluding to the experiments of the learned and very 
 ingenious Mr. Cavendish on Water, and it's constituent prin- 
 ciples. 
 
 (0) In allusion to Sir John Sinclair's novel ideas on marine sub- 
 jects, delivered in the House of Commons some time in Nov. 
 
[ 241 1 
 Behold from Brobdignag that wondrous Fleet, 209 
 With Sta^nhope's (^^jkeels of thrice three hundred feet ! 
 Be ships, or poHtics, great Earl, thy theme, 
 Oh, first prepare the navigable stream. 
 
 The healing Art, to maxims seldom true. 
 Changes with ease old fancies for the new : 
 See Jenner (q) there, the laurel (r) on his brow. 
 Leads up Sabrina's Commutation-Cow ! (j) 
 
 While 
 
 » 
 (/) The present Earl Stanhope is one of the first experimen- 
 tal Naval projectors in England. He will possibly recollect the 
 proposition he made to an eminent Ship-builder. 
 
 (y) I allude to the present important controversy in the me- 
 dical world. See the Inquiries by the Doctors Jenner and Peai- 
 son, '* into the causes and effeds of the Variolse Vaccinae, or 
 Cow-Pox, principally with a view to supersede and extinguish 
 the Small Pox." London, 1798. — The evidence appears as yet 
 to be wholly negative ; but it is not my intention to examine a^l 
 the cases and writings, ** F'atdnus quaecumque recepit Apotlo.^* 
 Dr. Pearson's Treatise is inscribed to Sir George Baker, Bart, 
 which entitles the subject to the consideration of the Faculty^ 
 (Nov. 1798.) 
 
 ' (r) This appears from the sublime and poetical words of the 
 ingenious Dr. Pearson ; ** I would not pluck a sprig of laurel 
 from THE WREATH w/;;V/; decorates the brow of Dr. Jenner i*' 
 Enquiry on the Cow-Pox, p, 3. But still — Et Fituld tu dignus 
 n Hie, 
 
 S (/)Df» 
 
[ 242 3 
 While Home sheds brazen tears, and Earle (/) 
 
 complains, 
 Pasiphae {u) smiles at Syphilitic stains. 
 
 Mark now, where bold, with fronts metallic shine 
 William and Mary^ [x) on one common coin : 220 
 
 Full 
 
 (j) Dr. Jenner is a Physician in Gloucestershire, and I very na- 
 turally suppose that Sahrina, the tutelar nymph of the Severn, 
 pointed out to him the fair objeft of his discovery. 
 
 {i) Everard Home and James Earle, Esqrs. two Surgeons of 
 eminence in London. 
 
 («) Hie crudelis amor Tauri, fufijtojiaque furto 
 Pasi/ihde, mixtumque genus. jEn, 6. 
 
 It is impoffible to say, how far the Commutation Syjiem may be 
 carried in this country. It first began with a little Tea, which 
 the celebrated Doctor William Pitt, (a Practitioner of 
 great and extensive reputation, who settled in London about 
 the year 1784, and still continues to give advice to the public 
 ii Downing-Street,) recommended to his Patients, as a cheap 
 medicine in lieu of light, air, and some other non-naturals. 
 The physicians are now beginning to pay their addresses to the 
 Cow ; and the Clergy are afraid that some State-Do6tors may 
 offer the same gallant attention to the calves, pigs, and lambs, 
 merely by way of change. But if the medical commutation- 
 act is to extend to other diseases, I fear that it will be easier for 
 Sir George Baker, Bart, to appease the classical Manes of Fra- 
 castorius, than to console some of the medical profession on the 
 extinction of the Nymph Syphilis. (Nov. 1798.) (*) 
 
 (*) I hope this pleasantry of the Poet on the Cow-Pox, is 
 not well-founded; for ihc discovery appears to be of high im- 
 portance. ^ Publisher. 
 
[ 243 3 
 
 Full freedom to the genial bed restore. 
 
 And 
 
 (x) William Godwin and Mary Woolstoncraft 
 Godwin. — I refer the reader to the Notes in the third and 
 fourth Dialogues of the Pursuits of Literature, for the exposi- 
 tion and exposure of Philosopher William. At present it is 
 curious to compare the living works of Mr. Godwin, with the 
 posthumous writings of the fraiJ fair one ; and above alJ wieh 
 the Philosojthers unblushing account of his own Wife's •\ amours, 
 life, and conduct, " Ego te ceventem, Sexte, verebor?" Mr, 
 Godwin has fully explained and exemplified what he calls **the 
 most odious ofmonopolies," Marriage; and has published all his 
 philosophical transactions with Matyy previous to his monojioliz- 
 ing her. When Mrs. Bellamy's and Mrs. Baddeley's Memoirs 
 were printed, we knew what we were to expect ; but when a 
 philosopher, a reformer of states, a guide in fine writing, belles 
 lettres, morality, and legislation, like Mr. Godwin, publishes 
 suck Memoirs of his onxjn Wife, what must we say? 
 
 *' Sic lice at tumulo scrijisisse, Catonis 
 
 ** Marcia?" 
 
 I have been informed, that previous to the important, or as 
 
 he thinks, unimportant nuptial contract. Philosopher Godwin 
 
 consulted a descendant of Trouillogan in Rabelais, who states in 
 
 two chapters, {a) "How the Philosopher Trouillogan handled 
 
 ^^ the difficulty of marriage ; together with the answers of that 
 
 ** great Ephe61:ic and Pyrrhonian Philosopher on that subj'e£t.** 
 
 A very short specimen of the doubtful doubts, as handled by 
 
 Panurge and that great man, may not be unpleasant or inap« 
 
 plicable, 
 
 •' Panurge* 
 
 •\ See ** Memoirs of Mary Woolstoncraft Godwin, 
 by William Godwin. 
 
 {a) Rabelais, Book 3, Ch. 35, and i^, 
 S a 
 
[ 244 J 
 And prove whate'er Vanini ( y) prov'd before. 
 
 Fierce 
 
 " Panurge. — Should I marry ? 
 
 Phitosopher TrouilJogan. — There is some likelihood. 
 
 Panurge. — But if [ do not marry ? 
 
 Philosopher. — I see inthat no inconvenience: 
 
 Panurge. — You do not ? 
 
 Philosopher. — None truly; if my eyes deceive me not. 
 
 Panurge.— Yea ; but I reckon wo;-^ than Jive hundred incon- 
 veniencei. 
 
 Philosopher. — Reckon them, &c. &c. 
 
 Panurge then complies with the Philosopher's demand, 
 and enurnerates some of the Jive hundred inconveniences of 
 not being married, with intermediate remarks and sugges- 
 tions by Philosopher Trouillogan, after which the Dialogue 
 proceeds thus: 
 
 " Panurge. — Well then ; if I marry, I shall be a Cuckold, 
 
 Philosopher. — One luould fay Jo, 
 
 Panurge. — But are you married, Philosopher Trouillogan, 
 or are you noi ? 
 
 Philosopher. — Neither the one, nor the other; and yet 
 
 both together,'* &C. &c. &c. 
 
 At the conclusion of this Nuptial Dialogue, in which Panurge 
 with all the keenness of his dialectics pushed the Philosopher 
 home, and probed him to the quick, the great Gargantua, who 
 had heard the whole disputation most patiently from the be- 
 ginning to the end, non sine slupore, suddenly rose and ex- 
 claimed, '* Praised be heaven! but above all for bringing the 
 world to that height ofrefinednefs, beyond what it was, when I was 
 first acquainted with it; that now the most learned and prudent 
 philosophers are not asha^ned to be seen entering the porches of 
 the schools of the Pyrrhonian, Aporrhetic, Sceptic, and 
 Ephectic Se<;t5! It will be henceforth found an easier enter- 
 prize 
 
f 245 3 
 
 Fierce passion's slave, she veer'd with every gust, 
 
 Love, 
 
 prize to take lions by the necks, oxen by the horns, or goats by 
 the beard, than to entrap such philosophers in their words !" By 
 which it appears, that the great Gafgantua made no allusion, 
 by anticipation, to Philosopher Godwin, who certainly may be 
 entra/ijlied with great ease in his ivords^ at least in such as he has 
 thought proper to print. But as Panurge said, *' Parlous sans 
 disjunctives.'* 
 
 It is however certain, that many parts of this Dialogue must 
 have administered great comfort to Mr. Godwin. But before 
 I can persuade the reader to peruse the Memoirs of Mary by her 
 own husband, and all Mary's own posthumous writings revised, 
 and perhaps a \\\.\\t imjiroved^ by Mary's husband, on justice, 
 marriage, rights, wrongs, and so on, to the end of the chapters 
 by *' fie and She'\ the gentleman and the- Jady, the two 
 parties in the contract; the philosopher and philoso/>?>fjj, the 
 citizen and the citizf//^, recourse must be had to abler argu- 
 ments than any which I can produce. I must request him to 
 study the chapter in which it is shewn, ** How Pantagruel per- 
 •* suaded Panurge to take counsel of a fool." Perhaps the Phi- 
 losopher may here say with Panurge, ** Je mettray ma lunettes 
 *' a cette oreille gauche, pour vous ouir plus clair. 
 
 I still think, that these memoirs and posthumous works of 
 Mary Woolstoncraft Godwin should be earnestly recommended 
 to every father and mother, to every guardian and every mis- 
 tress of a boarding school throughout the kingdoms of Great 
 Britain, as " A convenient Manual of speculative debauchery, 
 with the most seleft arguments for reducing it into practice j" 
 for the amusement, initiation, and instrudion of young ladies 
 from sixteen to twenty-fiyef years of age, who wish to figure in 
 
 S 3 life, 
 
 I Dodors Commons extend the term. 
 
[ 246 ] 
 Lbve, Rights, and Wrongs, Philosophy, and Lust 
 
 But 
 
 life, and afterwards in DoiSlors Commons and the King's Bench; 
 or ultimately in the notorious receptacles o^ patrician prostitu- 
 tion. This is the end of the new school, certain, inevitable, ir- 
 reversible. 
 
 The force of ridicule indeed on this subjefl can hardly be ex- 
 hausted upon thg manner in which these philosophers treat it se- 
 riously. The words ol Shakspeare press upon the mind ; 
 
 *' I have a speech of fire, that fain would blaze, 
 But that their folly drowns it.'* 
 
 Yet still the consequences are so fatal, and so extensive in their 
 iniquity, that we must also strive to repress them by reasoning, 
 and by every method which learning and refleflion can supply 
 or suggest. It is one nefarious system of philosophic /c'o/<?ry, 
 which some persons suffer themselves to play with too long, 
 till by flowery language, or rather by ridiculous terms, they are 
 at last betrayed into a forgetfulness of original sound principles, 
 and of sober sense. They read, till they persuade themselves, 
 that they can see *' the tear of affection (like Mr. Godwin's) 
 *' chyitallized by the power oi genius y and converted info a Jier- 
 *' manent literary brilliant''^ I H ('-') But by this nonsense, by this 
 foolery by this substitution of words, aided by the general cor- 
 ruption of morals thicughout Europe, the great revolutionary- 
 terrors have been brought into action. 
 
 Sui'ely parents and guardians should, with the most affection- 
 ate earnestness, for the sake of their country, of themselves, of 
 
 their 
 
 (•*) In iuch language has public criticism been delivered to the 
 world in the Monthly Review, on Mr. Godwin's Memoirs of hi* 
 
[ ^47 ] 
 
 But some more wise, in metaphysic air, 
 
 Weigh 
 
 their dearest hopes, and of every institution divine or human, 
 warn and caution young female readers against fuch writings 
 as Mrs. Woolstoncraft Godwin's ; if they perceive an inclina- 
 tion in them to peruse her works. I hate literary prohibitions 
 in such a case, which are generally ineffectual; but gentle ad- 
 monition will always have some force on young minds and in- 
 genuous tempers. It is a just and proper compliment to 
 observe, that ** if you speak to women in a style and manner 
 ** proper to approach them, they never fail to improve by 
 ** Counsel. (*)" Their instructors therefore should inform 
 them, that such opinions and doctrines are founded upon the 
 contempt and rejection of that system, which has alone given 
 comfort and dignity to women in the social state, and placed 
 them in honour, confidence, and security. 
 
 The Christian code speaks to them of no species of subjection 
 to men, as to masters; but it teaches them to look for support, 
 for affection, and for comfort from men, as fathers, brothers, 
 and husbands. Is it any wonder, that the Creator should best 
 understand the specific distinctions, and relations of his crea- 
 tures ? Whatever is consistent with the delicacy of their frame, 
 the care of their minds, the cultivation of their talents, and the 
 superintendence of their family and children, is offered and 
 enjoyed freely and fully by women in this Christian kingdom. 
 These philosophers, of either sex, first make marriage the ob- 
 ject of their most peculiar ridicule, and then refine it into pros- 
 titution. 
 
 What can women expect to learn from such writings? To 
 approach them, is to tread, perhaps without design and gene- 
 rally with original rectitude, in the vestibule of the Corinthian 
 
 S 4 temple 
 
 (*)TatlexNo. 139, 
 
[ 248 ] 
 
 Weigh th§,man's wits (z) against the Lady's hair, (a) 
 
 Mark, 
 
 temple of sedu£lion and adultery. To no other altars can they 
 be conducted by such a priestess as Mrs. Woolstoncraft God- 
 win. But they should be reminded, that in the gloomy back- 
 ground they may plainly discern the cavern of suicide. 
 
 It is unpleasant to criticize, ev-en in the gentlest manner, the 
 works of the female pen. We have ladies of ingenuity, learning, 
 and of every varied excellence; I would name Mrs. Carter, 
 and Mrs. Hannah More, in the most eminent sense. The 
 •genius Oi the authoress of the Elegy on Captain Cook, the 
 poetry of Mrs. Charlotte Smith, and the sombrous fancy and 
 high-wrought imagery of Mrs. RadclifFe, cannot be mentioned 
 without admiration. But wlien female writers forget t^e cha- 
 racter and delicacy of their sex; when they take the trumpet of 
 democracy, and let loose the spirit of gross licentiousnebs, mo- 
 ral and political, in contempt of those laws, which are their 
 best shield, and of that religion, which has invariably be- 
 friended and protected them; the duty which is owing to the 
 defence of our country, and of all female virtue, comfort, and 
 happiness, calls for strong animadversion on their writings and 
 actions. When iheir softness is laid aside, when they appear as 
 the Minewas (*) of the modern illuminated systems, and the 
 Bellonas (f ) of France; in such cases men must be excused, if 
 they would avoid destruction even from their writings. 
 
 Young female readers often find in Mrs. Godwin's treatises a 
 / lively 
 
 (*) Baruel Memoirs of Jacobinism, Vol. 3, 
 
 \\ J 'At r' av^pwv TToXsfjLov y-aroacoipaVEHCiv, 
 
 Eit ap' AQnm,r,, ens nTOAinOP©02 Evvco. 
 
 Horn. II. 5, 
 
[ 249 3 
 
 Mark next, how fable, language, fancy flies 
 
 To 
 
 lively fancy, a specious reasoning, a bold spirit, and flights of 
 ideas to which they have been unaccustomed. The possession 
 and the exertion of these ideas they sometimes, in a fatal 
 moment, conceive to be effectual freedom from restraint, 
 and the enthralment of prejudice. They drink deep, and 
 are intoxicated with words and fancies, till they are tempted 
 beyond their strength, and become '* incajiabk of their cwn 
 *' distress.^'' Their weedy trophies of liberty, phijosophy, and 
 emancipation,^ fall into the stream together with themselves, 
 their innocence, their comfort, their dignity, and their happi- 
 ness, — to rise no more. (Nov. 1798.) 
 
 iy) Vanini, the celebrated atheist, who wished he had not 
 been born in wedlock. " Utinam extra legitimum torum 
 " procreatus fiiissem, &c.'* Such is the blasphemous, idle rani 
 on the subject in his treatise, '* De Admirandis Nature Se« 
 cretis.'* 
 
 (z) I shall take my leave of Mr. Godwin (for I have no pre- 
 sent intention toexahnine any more of his writings specifically) 
 with some observations on the general tendency of all such au- 
 thors and their works. 
 
 In the present state of civil society, and of political order so 
 wisely established, so vigorously maintainc^d, and so honourably 
 recommended in this still flourishing, opulent, and powerful 
 kingdom ; it is difficult to restrain the emotion of the breast, 
 and the indignation of the understanding at such nefarious 
 writings, and desolating principles. The a'rms, the instruments, 
 and the agents are before u?, and are now fully understood. 
 It was the strong language of Cicero ; ** Demonstro vitia ; tol- 
 
 *Mite: 
 
C 250 ] 
 
 To Ghosts, and Beards, and HoppergoUop's (3}cries : 
 
 Lo, 
 
 *'lite: denuncio vim, arma; removete."* We would reco- 
 ver the health which is gone, and the soundness which is lost. 
 I am of opinion, that they may both be recovered. But we 
 mast all strive, in our several capacities, to direct the vessel of 
 the public mind, and of the national understanding, in a straight 
 and undeviating course; or, as it is well expressed in one of the 
 Orphic fragments preserved by Clemens, (t) l9umv Kpahrts 
 voEpov yivros* 
 
 In the sublime, but often fanciful theology, or as I would 
 rather term it, the Theonomy^ exhibited in the Timaeus of Plato, 
 and more fully in the commentary of Proclus, we read of the 
 JEyxoc/AiOi 0£ot, or superintending mundane deities. I would 
 not insist upon the imaginary visions of any man, however 
 great ; but in the way of adaptation^ they have often a force 
 and analogy, which is neither unpleasing nor unfruitful. I am 
 5ure the present modern philosophical writers, such as Condor- 
 cet, and his mongrel disciples in England, Godwin and others, 
 have no pretensions to the reverence of mankind, as mundane 
 deities. Their aim is not to exalt the soul of man, but to de- 
 press and degrade it to the beast, or in Sir Thomas More's in- 
 dignant language, *'aa pecuinicorpusculi vilitatem." (;{:) 
 
 It is remarkable that Sir Thomas More, in his Republic of 
 Utopia, declared that a person who entertained and professed 
 ftuch sentiments, as the modern philosophy holds forth and in- 
 culcates, was not worthy to be numbered among rational men, 
 
 mucl\ 
 
 * Cic. Philipp. I, Sect. 10. 
 
 (t) Clement. Alexandrin.L. 5, p. 443. Ed. Lugd. Bat. i6l6. 
 
 (J) Mori Utopia L. 2, 
 
c 251 J 
 
 Lo, from th' abyss, unmeaning Spectres drawn, 229 
 
 The 
 
 much less to be enrolled among the Citizens. His reason was 
 this ; that a contempt of all laws and of all institutions was a 
 necessary consequence of such opinions, when uncontrolled. His 
 words are remarkable: ** Illuin ne hominum quidem ducunt 
 *' numero, tantum aheit ut inter Gives fionant^ quorum ,>instituta 
 ** moresque, si jitrmetumliceat^ omries floccifacturus sit."f Now 
 we have lived to see, that y^ixr has not restrained such Citizens as 
 Mr. Godwin and others; and they have accordingly vilified, 
 set at nought, and held out to contempt the laws, the religion, 
 the manners, and the institutions of their country, which de- 
 fends and protects them, in conformity to the opinion of Sir 
 Thomas More. Such Citizens maintain the doctrines of dis- 
 solution, not of compact ; and the body of Society drops into 
 pieces member after member, when the principle of continuity 
 is withdrawn. " Nigidium vidi ; Cratippum cognovi."J 
 
 Men ©f the greatest minds and of the widest intellectual 
 views, have frequently indulged themselves in forming Uto- 
 pian Republics, and have often unadvisedly dwelt too much 
 upon the unavoidable evils of Society. Such pure spirits are 
 naturally offended with every species of evil. But when such 
 men, as Sir Thomas More, suffer their minds to be amused (I 
 fear it is but an amusement at best) with speculative or 
 imaginary political excellence, or rather perfection, how dif- 
 ferent are their Jirincijiles y and the result of their thoughts from 
 those of sciolists and sophists. We all regret the loss of that 
 Republic, which the genius of Cicero had construdted. There 
 are indeed a fejv noble fragments of the building, preserved by 
 
 Lactantius, 
 
 •f- Mori Utopia, Lib. 2. p. 234. Ed. Glasg. 1750. 
 X Cicero in Timseo, Frag, de Universitate, Se6l. i. 
 
I 252 ] 
 
 I 
 
 The Gothic glafs, blue flame, and ilickVing lawn ! 
 
 Choak'd 
 
 Lactantius, Macrobius, and Augustine; though the plan of the 
 entire edifice by the hand of that consummate practical States- 
 man, and experienced Philosopherj cannot be traced from the 
 remains. I believe he would have corrected many of the errors 
 of Plato. ^ 
 
 But it is not without it's use to compare, (if we have leisure, 
 and as far as wc may compare them) the work of the sublimest 
 Heathen Philosopher with that of the Christian Statesman Sir 
 Thomas More. I speak upon the whole; for I am sensible of 
 their errors, particularly in the Athenian ; yet when we think 
 of Plato, we must not forget the state of the Heathen world, 
 antecedent to Christianity. These great men proceeded upon 
 the true dignity of the human mind, when undebased 
 by vice, and they bottomed their opinions upon the most 
 solid science. Their views were large, comprehensive, con- 
 nefted. They knew the nature and the state of man ; and they 
 saw what it would admit, and what it would not bear. When 
 they propo^d some amendment, or some institution which did 
 not then exist, it was in the way of suggestion, and not of dog- 
 matical imposition. They never moved through the state with 
 the sword, and the scythe in their hands. What they saw» 
 was with the eye of a well-instructed mind, long prepared by 
 study and exercised in discernment. 
 
 Thes^ persons, in their generations, were indeed among the 
 superintending mundane deities of their country. Not so the 
 modern D/V^c/or/ of human affairs; though they aspire to be 
 thought, and to aft, as the gods of this nether world. They 
 would sit with the thunderbolt in their hands, and the storms 
 under their f^et. Yet even Mythology condemns them, and 
 
 points 
 
r 253 ] 
 
 Choak'd with vile weeds, our once proud Avon strays; 
 
 . When 
 
 points to her Salmoneus. But we stand not on the ground of 
 fable : for what is the most extended and the most desolating 
 power of tyrant and of rampant wickedness on the earth, for a 
 few days or a few years, before Him ** who (for his own in- 
 scrutable purposes) putteth down and setteth up, and alone 
 RULETH in the kingdoms of men!" 
 
 The consideration of these modern philosophers offers also 
 the strongest argument for the vigorous and unremitting prose- 
 cution of well'dire^ed ftudy, in all the public seats of educa- 
 tion in these kingdoms. Plato declared, that one of the causes 
 of atheism is, " a certain ignorance very grievous^ which not* 
 " withstanding has the appearance of the greatest wisdom. "(*) 
 This apparent wisdom must be combated, and overthrown by- 
 reason and erudition; the fallacy must be pointed out, and the 
 ciFect of it, when perfected, shewn to be death moral, mental, 
 and political. 
 
 I am confident that the Universities of Oxford and Cam- 
 bridge will be still found to be the best and most solid bulwarks 
 (I trust not the only ones) of true science, and of the legitimate 
 cultivation of the understanding, if they adhere to their origitml 
 principles; but not otJierivise, By this method of reasoning, I 
 should conceive, that the works of Hooker, Pearson, Stilling- 
 fleet, and Barrow, have been lately reprinted at the Clarendon 
 press of the university of Oxford, with singular judgment and 
 true discernment of the time. They have been sent forth again 
 into the world, " rejoicing like giants, to run their course." 
 We are in general either destroyed, or lost, or warped, or \^d. 
 
 astray, 
 
 Plato de Leg. L. 10. 
 
[ 254 ] 
 
 When Novels die, and rise, again in pi a3^s: 
 
 No 
 
 astray, for want of this primal (f) knowledge. I speak not here 
 of the great incontrovertible abstract sciences of the mathe- 
 matics, and of natural philosophy founded on a severe and 
 sublime geometry. These cannot be disputed. But I am 
 speaking of the vioral cultivation of the understanding, that the 
 frame and good order of religion and government may be still 
 supported in these realms, by a succession of young men well 
 educated, and judiciously condu(^ed in the paths of erudition. 
 An acute and intelligent observer of history once inscribed a 
 most valuable work (J) in these emphatic words: "To the 
 hope of England, its young gentry, is dedicated, the glory of 
 it, its antient statesmen ; a renowned ancestry^ to an honour- 
 able posterity." I wish to see these words continued, and em- 
 bodied with strength and energy in Great Britain ; for her 
 laws will never abhor such a perpetuity. 
 
 I have often, when discoursing on education, dwelt with 
 peculiar earnestness on the dignity and wisdom of the Greek 
 writers in almost every department of science, poetry, philo- 
 sophy, politics, and morality. I think I have observed, 
 that the modern political theorists, who are either not versed 
 in them at all, or but superficially, and who therefore hold 
 them in contempt, have generally wandered the widest and 
 the wildest in these days of confusion, distraction, and con- 
 vulsion. 
 
 (t) The words of Plato are worthy of observation. 
 
 ripo; raroi^ orav HoXitskki kocxoi xoci Xoyoi ycaroc, itoKzLS i^i^ 
 xoii ^n(A,o(rt^ Ksy^^OcoaiVj sri S's fjt^cx.Qfjfxa.rac fji7)^(Xf/,vi rarcov ixrixoc 
 sx vsa/v fXccvQcovrtTaiy ra,vrri xxxQi irocvrzq hi kukoi* Q,v airiarsov 
 pcsv ras (^ur&vovrscs fxacXXov oq (puTsvoiJisvs^f koci ra; r^£(povraf, 
 rcov Tpe^o/xEvwv .Plato in Timaeo. p. Sy, Vol. 3. Ed. Serrani. 
 
 CJ) State worthies; from the Reformation to the Revolution, 
 by David Lloyd j re-published 1^ Charles^Whitworth, Esq, 
 in two volumes. 
 
I 255 ] 
 
 No Congress props our Drama's falling state. 
 
 The 
 
 vulsion. Aristotle, Plato, and Thucydides, to mention no 
 others, well knew what was the tyrannical nat*ure of a demo- 
 cracy, and all its appendages. None have more strongly or 
 more justly characterized and depicted it; none have held it 
 out to greater reprobation and abhorrence. They teach us 
 alternately by reason, and by example. 
 
 The writings of these great men have a perpetual youth. 
 Like the sun, their light is always new, yet always the same; 
 it is the source of mental life, health, vigour, chearfulness, and 
 fecundity ; and as it guided our forefathers, it will guide usalso if 
 we attend to it. The Commentator, or rather the animated 
 rival of Plato, has words which, on such a . subject, it is 
 neither unnatural nor improper to produce and to adapt. 
 Givoy^ost avrots t] HCoq. Tov VKov ono^rnrov Kocr/xov opcjffty* 
 KrpsTrrois xai axX*V£(Ti wri^xci '/^pto^svoi, '^Xvipao'i, too ttocvto, tt]? 
 ^TilAtspyiicns ocvrcov Trpovoioi;, ^uviariv a^vrois Knpi^in Qeorns, rvi 
 fA£V vofjffst TO axpavTov ETriXocfATraG-a.f^J 
 
 I would yet add a few words on these modern philosophersj 
 They sometimes tell us sneering, and in scorn, that the code 
 of Christians is the code of equality. They have attempted to 
 shew this more than once. But surely we may ask, what is the 
 equality held forth in the Christian Scriptures? Is it not the 
 equality of the creatures before the Creator? the equality 
 of men before God, and not before each other? They every 
 where speak of the political distinctions and ranks in society ; 
 they ordain tribute to be paid to whom tribute is due, custom 
 to whom custom, honour to whom honour ; and they describe 
 ;ill lawful power, as derived from God, The great Founder 
 
 of 
 
 (*) Prodi Commeilt. in Timseum Platonis, L. 5* p. 334. 
 £d. Basil. 1534.^ 
 
L 256 ] 
 
 The modern ultimatum- is, " Translate," 
 
 Thence 
 
 of it himself acknowledged the image and superscription of 
 Caesar. His Apostles declare the gradations of power, dele- 
 gated by authority; they inculcate submission to the ordinances 
 of man, for the Lord's sake; to the King^ as Supreme; to 
 Governors and Magistrates, as unto them who are sent hy him. 
 Is this the political equality of the boasted deliverers or op- 
 pressors of the world ? Hew long shall we suffer the tyrant, 
 the blasphemer, the disorganizing Sophist, to triumph and to 
 deceive usi 
 
 Finally ; when the modern systems are delineated, and the 
 chart of the opinions and doctrines laid out in departments, I 
 would ask, What is the Picture? What are the objects? Are 
 the things recommended and enforced, either true, or honest, 
 or just, or pure, or lovely, or of good report? Is there 
 any thing to be found and felt, but insolent domination, 
 sanguinary and unrelenting ordinances, and the tyrannical 
 suppression and overthrow of every existing Institution? 
 Throughout the whole of their systems. Is there any virtue, or 
 any praise, or any motive, which the good can approvc,'^and 
 the wise ratify I 
 
 I would say, Behold ye despisers, and tremble! I would 
 much rather say to my countrymen; Behold and watch, that 
 ye enter not into the porch and vestibule of their " Plutonian 
 Hall," by the temptation of such Philosophy, 
 
 Through the gate, 
 Wide, open, and unguarded^ Satan pass'd, 
 And all about found, (or made) desolate ! 
 
 (Nov. 1798J 
 
 \a) Rape of the Lock, C. 5. v, 72. 
 
[ 257 ] 
 
 Thence sprout the morals of the German school ^ 
 The Christian sinks, the Jacobin bears rule. 
 No virtue shines, but in the peasant's mien, 
 No vice, but in patrician robes, is seen^ (r) 
 
 Through 
 
 (6) See an admirable piece of ridicule on the German non» 
 sen^e of the day, by a man of parts and wit, in a pamphlet 
 entitled, ** My night gown and Slippers: or, Tales in 
 Verse, written in an Elbow-chair, by George Colman the 
 younger." (Printed for Cadell, 1797.) It is called, The 
 Maid of the Moor; or, the Water Fiend, concerning Lord 
 HoppergoUop's Country House. 
 
 But I would refer with still greater pleasure, and with the 
 most decided approbation, to *' The Rovers, or the Double 
 Arrangement," a Drama in the German styJe, in the Anti- 
 Jacobin, or Weekly Examiner, No. 30 and 31. a work which 
 has been of signal service to the public, by the union of wif, 
 learning, genius, poetry, and ?ound politics. 
 
 (f) The modern productions of the German stage, which 
 silly men and women are daily translating, have one general 
 tendency to Jacobinism. Improbable plots, and dull fcenes, 
 bombastic and languid prose alternately, are their least de- 
 fects. They are too often the licensed vehicles of immorality 
 and licentiousness, particularly in respect to marriage; and it 
 should be remarked in the strongest manner, that all good 
 characters are chiefly and studiously drawn from the lower 
 orders; while the vicious and proHigate are seldom, if ever, 
 represented but among the higher ranks of society, and among 
 men of property and possessions. This is not done without 
 design. 
 
 It is indeed time to consider a little, to 'what and to luhom we 
 
 T give 
 
t ^58 ] 
 
 Througb four dull acts the Drama drags, and drawls, 
 The fifth is stage-trick, and the curtain falls. 240 
 
 Thence mark, where deep within that civic wood, 
 
 (No balm the trees distil, but lustral blood,) 
 
 An altar stands : there Tooke his emblems lays, 
 
 Sandals, and constitutions, straps, and stays (<^); 
 
 M^Cormick*s (^) libel; Wakefield's sanguine gall; 
 
 Pitt's rise pourtray'djC/) and the Third Charles's fall; 
 
 Historic 
 
 give our applause, in an hour of such general danger as the 
 present. The Stage surely has the most powerful effect on the 
 public mind. The Author oi The School for Scandal^ with the 
 purest and most patriotic intentions, long ago endeavoured to 
 make dishonesty, gambling, cheating, deep drinking, debau- 
 chery, and libertinism, ^T^y^^^r amiable and attracting in his cha- 
 racter of Charles Surface; and the German Doctors of the sock 
 and bviskin are m-cu making no indirect attacks on the very 
 fundamentals of society and established government, subordi- 
 nation, and religious principle; the vaunt-couriers of French 
 anarchy, national plunder, and general Misery. 
 
 {d) The insignia of Citizen Hardy, Citizen Kingsbury, 
 Citizen Thelwall, Citizen Tom Paine, &c. &c. and all those 
 philosophers, scribblers, and Lecturers, who serve us 
 
 " In a double 
 Capacity, to preach and cobble.'* 
 
 {e) The Life of Edmund Burke by one M^Cormick. 
 
 {/) Two pair of Portraits, of two Fathers and two Sons, by 
 John Home Tooke. 
 
[ 259 ] 
 Historic scraps of Brunswick or Berlin, 
 From flimsy Tow'rs, and Belsham*s (g) Magazine* 
 There Porson, who the tragic {^) light relumes, 
 And Bentley's heat with Bentley's port assumes; 250 
 
 Dramatic 
 
 ^) Mr. Belsham and Dr. Towers, two Dissenting Com- 
 pilers of some information and ingenuity, who, by a figure of 
 fpeech, would be thought Historians. — " They make lame 
 mifchief, but they mean it well." 
 
 (^) Richard Porson, M. A. The most learned and acute 
 Greek scholar of the present age, I allude to his late accurate 
 and most valuable editions of the Hecuba, and Orestes of Eu- 
 ripides, whose integral works may be expected from the Profes- 
 sor. He modestly says, that they are published ** in usum 
 studiosae Juventutis, or, as I suppose, for the use of schools 
 and Tiros.* But his notes and rehnarks are not adapted to 
 school-boys, to their wants, or to their comprehension. He 
 might as well have published them for the use of the Mamalukes 
 in Egypt, or Bonaparte's Savants. The Professor should con- 
 descend to give some more general illustrations, and a seleciion 
 of the Greek Scholia, if he would confer a real favour, as it is 
 in iis power to do, on the Masters of Schools and the Tutors of 
 Colleges. 
 
 I have still a partiality for a Latin Translation, executed 
 with care, and placed at the bottom of the page of every 
 Greek Author, It may now and then promote idlenefs in mere 
 bo)'sj but it is of signal service to men who are studious, if a 
 learned Editor wiU give the full meaning of the words, and 
 correct the errors of preceding Translators. I am sure, few 
 
 men 
 * Tironum usibus potisiimum destinata. 
 
 Tft Prafat.ad HeciihaTfi, 
 
[ ^6o ] 
 
 Dramatic Bardolph in his nuptial noose j 
 
 And wiser Perry, (/) from his prison loose. 
 
 Starts at the Diligence, that tells the tale 
 
 How blithe French printers (k) to Guiana sail : 
 
 There 
 
 men can read Greek Tragedies without consulting a Lexicon; 
 and as utility should be the motive of an Editor, I think a La- 
 tin Translation indispensable. I cannot submit to argue from 
 the abuse of any con\renience« 
 
 I hope 'Mr. Person will proceed in this important revision, 
 and perhaps effect the final establifhment of the Greek text 
 of all the Tragedians. This he can do, or no man can. He 
 will be entitled to the public gratitude of the learned world. 
 
 Such a man, so gifted, so instructed, so adorned with va- 
 rious science, I could wish to number among the defenders of 
 the best interests of his country. But at present most unfor- 
 tunately, in many of our learned men there is, in regard to 
 subjects of political and sacred importance, a something which, 
 in the phrase of Hamlet " Doth all the noble substance often 
 
 Why is it so? If such men would commune with their own 
 hearts, and in their chamber, and be still, I think it would be 
 otherwise. 
 
 (/') Perry, the Editor of the Morning Chronicle, was im- 
 prisoned three months in Newgate, for a libel on the House of 
 Lords. 
 
 {k) The example of ^the Caravan of^ Dejiortation^ or as it is 
 called from the place of banishment, the Guiana Diligence in 
 Paris, should be a warning to the editors and printers of 
 such seditious and democratic papers as the Courier, Morn- 
 ing Chronicle, the Star, &c. &c. how they^buse the patience 
 and forbearance of the mild andl^ient Government of England. 
 
 Under 
 * Mr, Malone's reading of the passage. 
 
[ 26l ] 
 
 There reeling Morris, and his bestial songs ; 
 Blaspheming Monks; and Godwin's female wrongs; 
 The Lawyer's strumpet, and disputed [kk) draft ; 
 And Darwin, fest'ring from the Horatian shaft ; 
 Blossoms of love descend in roseate show'rs. 
 And last, Democracy exhales in flow'rs.(/) 260 
 
 Behold La Crusca's Paridel advance. 
 From Courts, or Stews, from Florence, or from 
 
 France : 
 
 Before 
 
 Under the blessings of French freedom and emancipation, what 
 is the liberty of thinking, speaking, and writing in Frapce? The 
 authors, the printers and the booksellers, are crushed at once 
 and equally, and either chained in dungeons, or seized and 
 swept away from their native country, without hope and with- 
 out judgment, unheard, unpitied, and unknown. Pro lege 
 Voluntas! 
 
 But WE have yet a nation to save ; we have millions of loyal 
 men who have never bowed the knee to the Baal of Jacobinism; 
 and we have also many who have drawn hack from ths bloody 
 idol, and turned unto righteousness to the preservation of their 
 souls, their bodies, and estates, and the general deliverance of 
 their country. 
 
 In the event of a Peace, I trust these observations will be 
 attended to by all who have a desire to preserve'England froni 
 the subtle and secret arts, and from the tyranny of France, 
 and its contagious example. (1798.) 
 
 (ii) This may possibly be understood by some persons of the 
 profession. 
 
 y) See Dr. Darwin's Botanic Garden ajid Loves of the Plants, 
 
 T 3 
 
[ 262 ] 
 
 Before bim Swift and Addison retire, 
 He brings new prose, new verse, new lyric fire; 
 Proves a designer works without design. 
 And fathoms Nature with a Gallic line, 
 <\ 
 Bat hark! at Pearson's and at Hooker's voice. 
 
 The pillars of the sacred dome rejoice; 
 And hail the day, when Stillingfleet is joln'd 
 To Barrow's vast, immeasurable mind ! (;;^) 270, 
 Geddes (n) may wave his dark Egyptian rod; 
 Britain still owns th' msjiirhg bre'dth of God ; 
 Sees Truth emerge from Oriental (0) dreams. 
 And Gospel treasures roll down Indian streams. 
 
 The 
 
 {m) Alluding to the judicious and well-timed republications 
 of Hooker's Works, Pearson on the Creed, Stillingfleet's Ori- 
 gines Sacrae, and a selection of Barrow's Sermons, at the Cla- 
 rendon Press in the University of Oxford, in a convenient 
 form, and for an easy consideration, 
 
 (») Dr. Geddes, the Roman Catholic Divine, the new 
 Translator of the Bible. See some remarks on the Doctor's 
 attempt, in the Preface to the fourth Dialogue of the Pursuits 
 ©f Literature. 
 
 (0) See the Asiatic Researches, in particular those by Sir 
 William Jones, and Mr. Maurice's Indian Antiquities, and his 
 History of Hindostan, which have afforded the most curious 
 and important fact?, if they are applied with judgment and 
 
 soberly 
 
[263 ] 
 
 The Dennes, and owlish Stukeleys of the da}% 
 Retire abash'd at Lysons' (y^) rising ray; 
 The Macedonian march, the Libyan state. 
 On Renneirs (q) keen decisive labours wait; 
 And see each grateful Muse on Vincent (r) smile. 
 His kindred talents, and congenial toil, 280 
 
 Pitt 
 
 soberly investigated. — ^But we may expect a work on the Sacred 
 Writings, of the greatest importance, and of the deepest erudi- 
 tion and ingenuity, from a Gentleman, whom I shaH not name, 
 ** Yet perhaps, Nunc inteiligitur, dim nominabitur.'** 
 
 (yfe) I cannot but observe, that the learned world has much 
 to expect in the improvement, reform, and conduct of the 
 study of our national Antiquities, from the genius, erudition, 
 discernment, active age, and unceasing diligence of Samuel 
 Lysons, Esq. F. R. and A. S. 
 
 (y> 1 allude to the works so long and so eagerly expected by 
 the learned, from that consummate Geographer, and most 
 accurate investigator, Major James Rennel. 
 
 r) The Rev. William Vincent, D. D. Master of West- 
 minster School. A Gentleman whose professional merits, deep 
 erudition, and unwearied and successful application to science, 
 in the intervals of a laborious and honourable calling, demand 
 the most decided testimony of public approbation, I believe, 
 I speak the general sense of every scholar in the kingdom. 
 Surely an honourable retreat, and some distinguished mark of 
 public gratitude, should be offered in time to such rnen, as Dr. 
 Vincent, who have devoted their talents and attainments to the 
 
 public 
 
 ■* The poet is supposed to allude to the very learned Mr. Hen- 
 ley ; but ihe name of the work is not yet known. Fuelishsr, 
 
 . T4 
 
[ 264 ] 
 
 'Pitt once again revolves the Stagirite, 
 And bends o'er Plato by Serranian Vight; 
 Philosophy uprears her ancient head. 
 And Grecian truth in Grecian words is read; 
 Arts, Arms, and Policy maintain their course, 
 And Science flows from her primseval source. 
 
 But now I feel the' avenging thunder roar, 
 In British terror on the dusky shore; 
 The Bog Serbonian (f) yawns for Gallia's doom; 
 And Pompey points to Bonaparte's tomb 1 290 
 
 There 
 
 public service, with iinremij^ting diligence. The Masters of 
 our great schools should be made in dependent^ in every sense, of 
 their scholars. This would stamp a dignity and firmness on their 
 office and on their character, and the kingdom would derive 
 great advantage from such a regulation. The Ministers of the 
 Country and the Archbishops and Bishops should feel the force 
 of this most serious truth. 
 
 I believe it is impossible to name such a work as Dr. Vincent's 
 Translation of the Voyage of Nearchus, with all the learned 
 illustrations, produced under the labour and constant pres- 
 sure of so important an occupation, as the conduct of a great 
 public school. It has been received at home and abroad with 
 i^qual attention and honour. 
 
 (j) ** That Serbonian Bog, 
 Betwixt Damiata and Mount Casius old, 
 Where Armies whole have sunk." P, L, b, a. 
 
[ 265 ] 
 
 There, as in mournful pomp o'er Egypt's woes, 
 Th' embodied Majesty of Nilus rose. 
 In sounds of awful comfort Nelson spoke. 
 And the palm wav'd obedience to the Oak j 
 Firm, yet serene, the Christian Victor rode. 
 And on his flag inscrib'd, the will of god! (/) 
 
 •t 
 The guilty Nation shakes; her trophies fall : 
 
 The Crescent nods ; and Selim yields to Paul : 
 
 The Hellespont expands in timely pride ; 
 
 Fleets not her own adown the current glide ; 300 
 
 The North-Star beams on Europe's parting night. 
 
 And the dawn reddens with effectual light I 
 
 i 
 
 I go : my Country's fate no more I mourn ; 
 And pleas'd revisit my august sojourn." 
 
 (/) Alluding to the Victory of Admiral Lord Nelson on 
 the First of August, 1798, over the French Fleet on the shores 
 of the Nile; that signal interposition of the Divine providence, 
 ** IIH Justitiam confirmavere triumphi ; 
 Pr^sentem docuere DeumI nunc Ssecula discant 
 Indomitum nihil esse pio, tu'tumve nocenti!*' 
 
 Honjemherx 1798. 
 
 THE END. 
 
[ ^67 ] 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEMS, 
 
 &C. ££ff. 
 
 I. PATRIOTISM, 
 
 IN SIX CANTOS. 
 
 II. THE BATTLE OF THE YfIGS, 
 
 IN THREE PARTS. 
 
[ 269 ] 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 IN SIX CANTOS. 
 
 « Behold thy Gods, O Ifrael!'* 
 
 I Kings. 
 
 ** Contiavltia afpere, contra pericula animose, contra fortunam superb, 
 ** contra ambitionem contumdiose." . 
 
 LUCJLHIS= 
 
 " This verse shall live, to tell a better age, 
 Tl^at on a time when Party, swoln to rage, 
 Pour'd every stream of licence uncontroll'd, 
 And man and beast down the mad toiTcnt roU'd; 
 One, whom the Muses rarely deign'd to fire, 
 To stem the headlong tide oppos'd his lyre ; 
 That urg'd by truth, he turn'd the tuneful art 
 From sounds to things, from passioii to the heart ; 
 For Faction's mirror held up Reason' % li^hty 
 Sheiv'd erring mobs that measures may be right \ 
 That poijur and flace are Opposition's aim^ 
 That Patriotism and Interest are the %ame^ 
 That Order /i, ivhat ginjes us bliss be/910, 
 And our best kno%vl£dgE; when we'i^e weli. to know ! 
 
 Patriotism, Canto VI.. at the end. 
 
 First printed in 1765. 
 
[ 271 3 
 
 OctoUr iSoi. 
 
 Th e interest and curiosity of the public are generally 
 inconsiderable concerning any Ministers of state when de- 
 ceased or out of office, whether their names are Newcastle, 
 Bute, Grenville, Grafton, North, or Pitt! The following 
 poem exhibits the general tenor of false patriots, and the mi- 
 series which uniformly accompany anarchy, rebellion, and 
 democracy, delineated by the hand of a master. It's merit as 
 a composition is very great, and, without any regard to the 
 party which the author supported, it is now republished, 
 because it holds forth to the people of Great Britain a 
 warning against the inevitable tendency of the encroach- 
 ments or attacks of any statesmen, whose conduft, cha- 
 racters, and principles would lead this country to approve 
 or adopt the principles of France, since the fatal revolution, 
 under the military despotism of a successful, uncontrollable, 
 usurped, and tyrannical power, now carrying on, in cruel 
 mockery and audacious effrontery, by the specious appella- 
 tions of Liberty and Equality, in the name of the French 
 People, 
 
 Publisher* 
 
- t 
 
[ ^73 1 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 TwAs night; the voice of jollity was hush'd, 
 Doz'd all her vot'ries, reasonably flush'd; 
 Song, argument, invention, laughter, jest. 
 Wit, bawdry, criticism, had reel'd to rest 5 
 Scandal had empty 'd all his tub on Bute, j 
 
 Abuse oi Royalty itself was mutej 
 Sleep in his pleasing bands had all things ty'd, 
 AH but the eyes of disappointed Pride* 
 
 U She 
 
[ '^74 ] 
 
 She lay revolving in her anxious mind. 
 
 How Resignation had too much resigned ; lo 
 
 That places were dispensed as others willed. 
 
 And ev'i}^ gap of government was fill'd ; 
 
 New Statesm-en at the helm usurp'd her trade. 
 
 While glibly sail'd the ship without her aid. 
 
 Seeking repose from side to side she flings, 15 
 
 No change of posture pause of anguish brings. 
 
 Each grinding thought alleviation scorns. 
 
 And sharpens all the goose-down into thorns. 
 
 Forth from the loathed bed in haste she flew. 
 And round her weary'd limbs her veflments threw. 
 Enwrought with gold, in lelac purple dy'd. 
 The velvet casM her endless length of side ; 
 Two calveless bags of silk then stretch'd to sec 
 If they could reach from heel to distant knee; 
 Next splay-foot shoes she to her insteps girt, 25 
 Shoes which disdained, yet still were doom'd to dirt ; 
 Her thigh sustained a sword unknown to war. 
 And beamed upon her breast a silver star. 
 Whose rays with magic influence could warm 
 
 Almost to consequence the languid form. 3® 
 
 Accoutred 
 
[ 275 ] 
 Accoutred thus, forth of her door she went. 
 And her dark visit was to Faction bent j 
 Rosolv'd, like heav'n-rejccted Saul, to try 
 What counsel t'other party might supply. 
 Onward she strides, impatient of delay, 3^ 
 
 Flound'ring thro* ev'ry kennel in her way. 
 Now Charing-cross, the Temple next she pass'd, 
 Then the dull, sable. Ditch, with equal haste. 
 Now reach'd St. Paul's, and bless'd the Lord that there 
 Tho' He was prais'd, 'twas with unwilling prayer, ^i 
 Thence in a grateful rapture stretch'd to Bow, 40 
 And heard th* unmuffled tongue of night strike two. 
 Acknowledging the omen, she advanc'd. 
 While sudden vigour thro' each sinew danc'd. 
 
 High on a hundred columns, whose dead weight 
 Presses the rustic base in aukward state, 45 
 
 Where hardly they sustain, their shafts unbent. 
 The load of cornice, and of pediment. 
 Which, rough with sculpture in strong emblem clad. 
 Tells us, that riches make a city mad ; 
 The pond'rous mansion -house of Faction stands, 
 Rais'd by o'er-ieaching heads and griping hands. 
 
 U 5^ Before 
 
[ 276- ] 
 Before the gate, a giant fierce and fell, 
 Stalk'd Opposition, watchful centinel ! 
 And WJfo goes there, h^ CTy'd, yourself explain; £5 
 A friend, she said, lo Denmark, not the Dane, 
 Her well-known voice he recollected strait, 
 Quick every bolt shoots backward on the gate. 
 Bolts to endure which never own'd the power. 
 But only made to serve the present hour, 6@ 
 
 And yet the very best, for strength and size, 
 The blacksmith's Place and Pension could devise. 
 
 Of canker'd brass and rusty ir'n each door. 
 Stood massive, spirtled thick with human gore, 
 Which Popularity for ever draws 6^ 
 
 From fools, in Patriot- Rebellion's cause. 
 Open they burst, with desperate recoil. 
 The jarring hinges scream for want of oil. 
 Loud and discordant, as when civil rage 
 Incites two kindred armies to engage. 70 
 
 Near Aylesbury first caught the horrid sound. 
 And echo'd all its terrors with rebound -, 
 
 Concord 
 
C 277 ] 
 
 Concord at distant Stowe perceiv'd the yell, 
 
 While down her ill-adapted vizor fell; 
 
 Extremest Exeter rock'd to the noise, 75 
 
 And aided its hoarse thunder with her voice: 
 
 At once her cyders sour^ and all around 
 
 Her apple-blossoms strew the blushing ground 
 
 And now, where yawn'd the portal rade and vast, 
 To Faction's residence the Goddess past. 80 
 
 Close to the door, in the first vestibule. 
 Sat Clamour, Riot, Insult, and Misrule, 
 Stern Menace, Licence grown to dang'rous size, 
 Reproach, and an infinitude of Lyes. 
 
 A thousand voices bellow through the room, 85 
 A thousand echoes clatter 'gainst the dome; 
 Copious, but unconnected eloquence. 
 Words of fierce import, but of little sense; 
 Not meant to mean, and therefore to appear 
 More irritative to the vulgar ear. 9© 
 
 There might be heard, 'midst other piteous cries^ 
 Viberty ! Property ! and no Excise ! 
 
 U 3 Of 
 
[ 278 ] 
 
 Of Magna Charta the more dreadful roar; 
 
 Prerogative, and Arbitrary Power: 
 
 There Habeas-Corpus howFd, from jail broke loose. 
 
 Slavery, and privilege, and wooden shoes, 96 
 
 Corruption, favourites, and no address. 
 
 And uncontroul'd the licence of the press : 
 
 Sounds that all sense of order could erase, 
 
 But get the man, who burst thro* all, a place. 100 
 
 Stunn'd with the deaf 'ning peal she^ pass'd along, 
 (Yet passing would caress the friendly throng) 
 Thro' vast saloons which spoke May' r-royal stsitey 
 Rich without taste, and without grandeur great. 
 Yet here the chissel and the pencil strove 105 
 
 Best to record the objects of Mob- love. 
 Tribunes, and Ephori, and Demagogues, 
 By men call'd patriots, but by Gods plain rogues j " 
 Such as, provided they themselves grew great. 
 Felt no remorse to overturn a State no 
 
 Nor wanted here each dirty, dreadful job. 
 That Faction perpetrates to please the Mob, 
 To please the Mob, here mighty Strafford bled. 
 And Laud laid down his venerable head. 
 
 To 
 
[ 279 ] 
 
 To please the Mob, here Portobeilo's wall 115 
 Before the bolst'rous Vernon learns to fall ; 
 At once, his six ships only batter down 
 The sympathetic Ministry, and town. 
 To please the Mob, Byng stains the blushing deep, 
 And Blakeney earns a peerage in his sleep. 120 
 
 To please the Mob, our fleets their canvas strain. 
 And expeditions hide the v/ond*ring Main, 
 The Main more wond'ring wafts us back, alas ! 
 Thinn'd from the wars of Rochford and St. Cas : 
 What matter? since defeat our joy inspires, 125 
 And Cassel lost can light a thousand fires. 
 
 To please the Mob, Pitt, prone with Mobs to mix. 
 Puts up to public salv^, his coach and six. 
 By having pleas'd the Mob, here Cromwell stood. 
 And shew'd how private thrives by public good ^ 130 
 And might have shewn us gulls, if gulls could see. 
 That Slavery tracks th' abuse of Liberty -i 
 Confess'd at length the Patriot-Tyrant reign'd. 
 And snapt that freedom Charles had only strain'd. 
 
 U 4 Hampden 
 
[ iSo 1 
 
 Hampden* was here, in his Eidolon here, 1^5 
 
 And would-be tutor to the Royal Heir, 
 But he himself dwells in the fields of Fame, 
 Wedded to Liberty's immortal name. 
 
 And here in tints more recent might be view'd 
 (Instructive picture of court gratitude ! ) 140 
 
 How round their prince his favoured servants stand. 
 While fierce rebellion gores his bleeding land; 
 Faith, honour, duty, loyalty, the laws. 
 Urge them, no doubt, to perish in his cause? 
 No, but to serve with Granville they refuse; 145 
 So great a crime in Monarchs 'tis, to chuse\ 
 A hundred other equal deeds appear, 
 Nay, half the English History was here -, 
 While, over all the rest, conspicuous shines 
 Old Sarah's [a] legacy in golden lines. 150 
 
 Around in less compartments were beflow'd 
 Of underling incendiaries a crowd. 
 
 Such 
 
 * Hollis wasto be made Secretary of State, Pym Chancellor 
 of the Exchequer, Lord Say Master of the Wards, the Earl of 
 Essex Governor, and Hampden Tutor to the Prince. Hume. 
 
 (a) Sarah, Dutchess of Marlborough, 
 
[ 28l ] 
 
 Such as employ'd the pulpit or the press, 
 T' enforce the doctrines of licentiousness ; 
 Here Party canoniz'd such denizens, 155 
 
 Whose ears had paid the forfeit of their pens ; 
 And while in all her glaring daub she paints. 
 Villains grow heroes, scoundrels turn to saints. 
 
 Our Goddess midft the rest herself descry'd, 
 Mix'd with the leaders of the other side; 160 
 
 *' And, ah! she said, the very walls can trace, 
 *< How often we change principles for place.'* 
 
 END OF CANTO I 
 
C 282 ] 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 In the Recess of something like a tomb, 
 
 Which Architecture, (sick of Greece and Rome, 
 
 And copying what never was at all,) 
 
 Is pleas'd to christen an Egyptian Hall -, 
 
 Our Goddess, whom she sought, at length survey'd 5 
 
 In anti-kingly majesty array'd. 
 
 Busy she found him in this solemn place. 
 
 At solemn sacrifice, with solemn face ^ 
 
 He but to Commerce scorn'd to pour a prayer. 
 
 No other Deity employed his care. 10 
 
 Of solid gold, and of enormous size, 
 Yet not so big her belly as her eyes, 
 
 She 
 
C 283 ] 
 
 She stood ; and seem'd as she would hide the Globe 
 Beneath the drap'ry of her flowing robe : 
 Fast by, with full extent of gullet grac'd * 15 
 
 Her attribute, the Cormorant was plac'd. 
 
 The victims dire Religion bade him cull. 
 All without blemish, all of blackest wool, 
 All newly bought, all newly flay'd alive, 
 A hecatomb, of Negro slaves twice five. 
 He on their reeking muscles, red and blue. 
 Sharp vinegar, with salt and pepper, threw; 
 They writhe with pain convolv'd. As when to cram 
 Some citizen's unfathomable wem, 
 The Tifrtle, riven with his mail, poor fish ! 25 
 Perceives himself begin to grow a dish; 
 Convuls'd, each undulating fibre plays 
 In waves of agony a thousand ways. 
 So fixt the inextinguishable soul. 
 That dressM, perhaps he feels thy teeth, K**. 3a- 
 And thus, one knee down to the pavement laid. 
 Lowly, with supplicating voice he pray'd. 
 
 " Mover of Heav'n and Earth, whose vast embrace 
 Spreads co-extensive with this nether space; 
 
 ^^ Nature 
 
 ff 
 
[ 284 ] 
 
 *^ Nature opposes to whose thirst of gain 55 
 
 ** Her Oceans, Alps, and Andes, all in vain ! 
 ** Whose iron sway each cow'ring Ind proclaims, 
 *' And at thy counter buys its diadems. 
 
 *' Or hear'st thou rather, mistress of the seas, 
 ** Daughter of Neptune ! round whose azure knees 40 
 ** While in fond infancy thou sporting plaid^st; 
 ** Give, give, oh give me all that is, thou said'st : 
 " He could not all : but peace with perj'ry made, 
 ** Else heav'n have mercy on the fairest trade ! 
 
 " Oh, by whatever name best calFd, give ear, 45 
 *^ Assist the Needful in this time of fear 5 
 ** And ere the Nation, pausing from its woes, 
 '« Fold up its idle arms in soft repose ; 
 ** Ere Plenty cease to starve, ere IntVest fall, 
 •^ And Privateering grow no trade at all ; 50 
 
 ** Ere, piercing thro' the cobwebs that we weave, 
 ** Mankind this universal Truth perceive, 
 ^* That, load at pleasure the feign'd fav'rite'shead, 
 ^* A people's fav'rite is the Man to dread; 
 
 " Diffuse 
 
t 285 ] 
 
 «' Diffuse thy pride of riches ev*ry way, ^5 
 
 ^* Till all would govern, not one soul obey: 
 
 *' Then leave to me. Fears, Jealousies, Complaints, 
 
 '^ Not as of old, wrapp'd in the cloak of Saints, 
 
 ** But given naked to the peoples arms, 
 
 *' With all Licentiousness can boast of charms." 60 
 
 He ceas'd, the image neither speaks, nor rocks; 
 Our modern statues are the very est blocks ! 
 
 Civilities are ne'er so duely paid 
 To any folks, as when we want their aid j 
 The Goddess therefore patiently repressed 65 
 
 Herself till now, then Faction thus address'd: 
 
 ** O Thou ! for whom and from whom I was formed, 
 " Whose counsel moulded, and whose spirit warm'd, 
 " Whose early whispers taught me first to know 
 " These purple honours, which around me glow, 70 
 " To thee I come my sorrows to impart j 
 *' Rest shuns these eyes, and care corrodes this heart : 
 *' But thou assist, in this conjuncture nice, 
 " The laboring Party with thy sage advice. 
 
 '' Thus 
 
[ 286 ] 
 
 " Thus far, indeed, success has crown'd our arms, 
 ** Bute quits ^ not shaken with our fierce alarms, 
 *^ For who wild, empty, clamour would regard, 
 " That in his conscience finds his own reward? 
 •* But that the honest fool resolv'd before 
 •^ To make his Iong*d-for peace, and throw up pow'r, 
 " Resolved, like Phineas, in the gap to stand 80 
 •' And staunch the spouting art Vies of the land; 
 *' Convinced, the People still this truth would prove^ 
 ** That serve them, and you lose their fickle love : 
 '' And now, for public quiet, yields that rein S^ 
 " We quitted only to resume again. 
 " But we advance no higher than before; 
 *^ Our empty niches know us all no more; 
 *' Still the State Truncheon flies our eager grasp, 
 " And Calumny is at its latest gasp. 90 
 
 ** What to do next ! Insult can do no more, 
 *' Higher than Forty -five it cannot soar, 
 " Where, to full pitch of sturdy vigour grown, 
 ** it fairly gives the lye home to the Throne : 
 ^' Nothing remains which farther we can drive, 95 
 Or FGYty-eiglu comes next to Forty-jive, 
 
 . « Then 
 
 Cc 
 
[ ^87 ] 
 
 « Then shall we idly sit, hand-cufF'd and dumb, 
 " And let Truth work, and purge away the scum 
 *< We have fermented ? let the dross deject, 
 *' Till it's clear bosom shall all Heav'n reflect? loo 
 « Forbid it Fate ! forbid it Ridicule 1 
 *' And- all our boasts to ruin or to rule ! 
 
 " We must and will have all : but how to feize, 
 *' To fpill the cyder, or cut down the trees, 
 " More suits at law commence, more papers write, 
 " To give more dinners, and more guests invite, 
 " I come to ask. Or if thy wond'rous art 
 *' Some, yet untried, invention can impart, 
 ** How to one common channel may be bent 
 " The shores that stink in private discontent, no 
 ^' 'Till purify'd by Party all their mud, 
 *' We pour resistless the impetuous flood ; 
 " As roll a thousand rills down London streets, 
 '^ Each rank and black with all the filth it meets, 
 " Yet, in the river soon as join their streams, 1 1^ 
 ^' They instantly become the silver Thames ; 
 
 '^ Deign 
 
[ 288 } . 
 
 ** Deign to advise, thy counsel be my guide/* 
 She said, and Faction to her thus reply 'd : 
 
 •* To raise the Mob by master-strokes of art, 
 " Inflame the passions, and mislead the heart, 120 
 *^ Make happy subjects surfeit on their ease, 
 " Repine at blessings, and grow sick of peace, 
 *' To pour the multitude which way we list, 
 •' And ere they*re injur'd, set them to resist, 
 *' Halloo them on, to roar with frantic zeal 125 
 *« Against oppressions which no foul can feel, 
 *' Till they desire to spill their desperate lives, 
 «* For Printers' 'Prentices' prerogatives^ 
 *' To bid a little river flow along 
 ." The sole criterion to know right from wrong, 130 
 " With ev*ry lash of infamy impel 
 *' The farther side, because it won't rebel ; 
 *^ On all who dare imply we do amiss, 
 *' Point ready Obloquy's insulting hiss ; 
 *' Plold up, in whomsoe'erwe disapprove, 135 
 
 '' (And that means all who share their Master's love) 
 '* Virtue or Genius, like th' Athenian Owl, 
 ^« To the blunt peck of ev'ry other fowl ; 
 
 "All 
 
[ ^^ 3 
 
 " All the humanity of Bute to blot, 
 *< And all thy candour, Mans FIELD, sink in 5rc?/: 
 " ■ Recast the Royal Virtues, which before 
 " The Nation worshipped, and cry'd down the ore^ 
 " To teach the People this indulgent Reign 
 " With ev'ry charge of Tyranny to stain ; 
 " Unchoak'd to swallow contradictions down, 145 
 " In Antonine's mild look fear Nero's frown, 
 " Wrest his intention, and distort each fact, 
 *' And lend them treason till they long to act ; 
 *^ The Prince against his Counsellors to move, 
 *' And while we only seem to beg, reprove : 150 
 *' In terms of duty wrap each boist'rous deed, 
 * *^ Kneel while we stab, and libel while we plead, 
 '' Faction has pow'r; nay, has already done, 
 " And yet but little ofour course we've run, 
 *' Much still remains; and we must toil and strive 
 '* Ere the great days of Anarchy revive: 
 *' A watchful eye scouls over all our game, 
 *^ And while it seems to wink, but takes its aim. 
 
 ^* Oh! had but Fate to Halifax decreed 
 ** His seat of birth on t'other fide the Tweed I 160 
 
 X *« Had 
 
[ 290 ] 
 
 *' Had some bleak Shire, of penury the reign, 
 ■ *' More starv'd than Famine's Pro/ihecy can feign, 
 ^^ But giv'n him Title, in the general ban, 
 *' We with the country had o*erwhelm'd the man; 
 *^* There, like Enceladus, he*d lain oppressed 165 
 *^ With half an Island bearing on his breast : 
 *' While now, on its high basis, past our aim, 
 " This perfect statue rests wdthout a maim. 
 
 " But could we hope his virtues to decry, 
 •' And shew them blighted to the People's eyfe; 170 
 " Would not lerne all their bloom renew, 
 ** And call the blushing honours fresh in view? 
 " Recount, how lenity to prudence join*d 
 *' Shone the reflexion of his Sov'reign's mind; 
 ' " How form'd to win by ev'ry honest art, 1 75 
 
 " Bless'd by each voice, and lord t>f ev*ry heart ; 
 *^ Yet, when a Nation press'd him to receive 
 *' All that a Nation's gratitude could give, 
 *' The ftrong allure of interest he withstood, 
 " Above reward, and paid by, doing good? i8o 
 
 *' Here then- we stick ; but still of hope a gleam 
 "^ Points thro' the dusky thought its trembling beam 
 
 « The 
 
r 291 ] 
 
 " The Deities, from Heaven self^exil'd, meet 
 " At a grand council, and a grander treat, 
 " To-morrow. Such Ambition's high behest^ 
 ** And Folly does the honours of the feaft. 
 *^ Be there, the beft advice sure to receive, 
 ** If multitude of Counsellors can give: 
 *^ Till then beneath this roof remain my guest, 
 *' 'Tis break of day, and time to go to rest." 
 
 • So saying, her attendants she bid spread 
 For her great visitant the lofty bed. 
 And first the Fox's skin began the Pile, 
 Next of the Bear was spread the shaggy spoil, 
 And over that the Lion's tawny hide 19J 
 
 Finished the whole for disappointed Pride ; 
 There ev'ry pore, as she extended laid, 
 Imbib'd instruction from the mystic bed. 
 
 £KP OF CANTO II, 
 
 - ' uMi ii ai i Hiiiiiiii I 
 
 X 
 
[ ^92 3 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM, 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 O ^9 for the warning voice of him who saw 
 
 The ruin continental Measures draw. 
 
 What time by perjurable Styx he swore 
 
 To waste on them nor man nor guinea more i 
 
 That yet the People, made in time aware, 5 
 
 Might haply 'scape Seditious dang'rous snare ! 
 
 For now the rolling hours brought on, too soon I 
 The day, whose morn as usual rose at noon. 
 Wherein th* Arch-enemy to peace began 
 To meet in deep consult her dark Divan : i» 
 
 The Sun conceal'd in fogs his sullen ray. 
 And dreadful omens usher'd in the day. 
 
 Forth 
 
[ 293 ] 
 
 Forth from his George-Street airy upward "springs 
 The fierce North-Briton on audacious wings j 
 Th* encumber'd air could scarce sustain this Fowl, 
 Which dares an Eagle, tho' it looks an Owl : 1 5 
 
 Undazzled he beholds the towering height. 
 And to Olympus lifts his desp'rate flights 
 
 Next him uprose, and of as bad portent, ■ 
 On wings, ah pity ! by the Muses lent, 20 
 
 A black-bird erst in sober liv'ry drest. 
 Now party-colour'd plumage stains his breast; 
 Passion had chang'd his old appearance meek. 
 Had arm'd his talons, and hook'd down his beak : 
 His pinion strong, if dirt depress'd it not, 25 
 
 And sweet his throat — would it cry aught but Scot i 
 Neglected soon we let the Parrot roar. 
 Whose dictionary knows but Rogue and Whore. 
 
 Of lower flight, scarce hov'ringfrom the ground. 
 The Monitor his lesser circle wound i 30 
 
 The Vulture he, of old whom Jove severe^ 
 (That Jove who would direct this nether sphere,) 
 Ordain'd thro* Holland's sides to bore his way. 
 And on his growing vitals weekly prey, 
 
 X 3 And 
 
C 294 ] 
 
 ^And these behind with boding, croaking cry, ^5 
 The Contraft flutter'd, for it could not fly ; 
 While hopp'd on either side, pert, noisy, light. 
 The Magpye Gazetteer^ half black, half white. 
 
 Around, on ev'ry part whole flocks arose 
 Of Rooks and Ravens, Chronicles, and Crows; 40 
 Fann'd by innumerable pens, the sky 
 Of Printer's ink assum'd the sable dye. 
 
 Now prone from his meridian, when the sun 
 Had more than half his evening journey run. 
 And Folly's board, with heap'd profusion press'd, 45 
 Had spread satiety from guest to guest; 
 Pride, in whose bosom, alien to repose. 
 Still carkled all her cares, to speak arose : 
 Thrice she essay'd ; but from her elbow chair 
 As oft Ambition nodded to forbear: 50 
 
 She stopped, so wont t'obey. Now forward comes 
 The baby-show of paper, glass, and plumbs. 
 Borne by a hundred servants thro' the space. 
 Who ne'er saw wages but in shape of Place. 
 And up they pile the vast desert in air; 5 St 
 
 (The plate of gold by rule of Court was there) 
 
 Where 
 
I m ] 
 
 Where Robinson had play'd his master part. 
 And in one job exhausted all the Art. 
 
 High in the' midst of the whole fabric rais*d5 
 A barley-sugar Minister was plac'd, 60 
 
 His comfit promises who round him throws 
 On Dresden-china courtiers rang'd in rows ; 
 So just the artist did his skill display. 
 E'en in the gifts tliey seem'd to melt away. 
 
 Close at his side^ and wondering she was sweet, 6^. 
 Jiiftic^ no longer stern, possess'd her seat; 
 The Master had her likeness hit so pat. 
 You'd swear she was the sister of Judge Pratt. 
 
 Beneath in sugar, as in crime, combined. 
 Were Halifax and Egremont designed : 70 
 
 The noble robbers flood in flagrant act, 
 A ftoFn brass candleflick confessed the fact. 
 
 And opposite in Naples-biscuit rose. 
 Whose moat in green and silver tissue flows. 
 The guilty tow'r of 7w//;«j; all around 75 
 
 In orange-peel its dreadful warders frown'd, 
 
 X 4 And 
 
[ *96 I 
 
 And seem'd to tread, sight horrid and unmeet ! 
 A wafer Magna-Charta under feet. 
 
 There round a chariot, thro' the parted throng. 
 In bronze the threatening bruisers march'd along; 
 The decent Mob, such fear within them dwelt. 
 Retire to distance, and forbear to pelt. 
 
 Here,' in the front, was formed a sumptuous feast. 
 And seem'd both great and amiable the guest ; 
 Giv'n to whose name the outward form appeared, ^5 
 But the sly honours at another leer 'd : 
 Th' immense pile stood compleat ; the whole to shape. 
 Quite round the ruddy apple mourn'd in crape. 
 All prais*d the hand, all the design admir'd, 
 Warm*d as they gaz'd, but when they tasted, fir'd.. 90 
 
 Now Loyalty begins the sacred health. 
 On which Sedition only creeps by stealth : • 
 
 The toasts, still as they wander from this source. 
 Shew more evanid its diluted force. 
 
 As when, all-graceful Marlborough, your dress 
 Tdl us that Ranelagh you mean to bless, '96 
 
 While 
 
[ 297 ] 
 
 While down your perfect form in rainbow rows. 
 The lutestring stripe with gay confusion flows ; 
 The point insensible, (the difF'rence seen) 
 Where purple steals to yellow, or to green ; lOo 
 We find, deluded thro' the varying silks. 
 
 That what commenced with G concludes with 
 
 Wilkes. 
 
 I trust that Heav'n the Thracian did destroy, 
 Perverter first of toasting, born to joy. 
 Who mingled Int'rest with the flow of soul, lo^ 
 And dash'd with Party, Friendship's smiling bowl ; 
 Menace and fell Revenge lurk to be quafF'd 
 In the foul bottom of the dang'rous draught. 
 
 At Folly's board no mischief stalk'd behind. 
 For people out of place are of one mind, i lo 
 
 Jointly they hunt -, but difference and debate 
 Come when they share the Bear's-skin of the State. 
 
 And now in general discourse they join. 
 Heated, with healths, more potent than the wine. 
 Till custom, reason, fact, are chang'd and chopp'd. 
 To all that modern Patriots adopt., _ 115 
 
 Ail 
 
All spoke, and all advis'd a thousand things. 
 To buoy up Citizens and weigh down Kings. ^ 
 And some direct the matter how to mince, 
 And mean by evil Counsellors the Prince j 12^ 
 
 How turn Militia to a Counter-Guard, 
 And while disbanded valour they reward, 
 (Humanity can never be a crime,) 
 They kept it ready till a proper time. 
 
 Some mourn the injuries they groan beneath. 
 Who owe to courts the very air they breathe. 
 Who, one small boon deny'd, those courts resist. 
 And but for that, that only, are dismissed : 
 As to past favours — staunch State- Atheists say, 
 Duty^ the soul, dies with its body, pay. 130 
 
 Some tell the ready way on mobs t'impose, 
 Whose sight extends iio farther than their nose. 
 To whpm conviction never found its way. 
 They still believe that Pulteney of the day. 
 
 Others advance how squabbles make us great. 
 And cutting throats gives vigour to a state 5 
 What profits burgeon from domestic jars. 
 And all the blessings show'r'd on civil wars : 
 •yhe song was partial, yet it took the ear 
 Pf all who sought their thousand pounds a year. 
 
 When 
 
[ 299 ] 
 When Folly, to give order to debate. 
 Stood up a mighty driveller of state, 
 Ridiculously grand, her cap and bells. 
 Important insignificance conceals; 
 A petticoated Nestor she appears, 14^ 
 
 Bending beneath unvenerable years : 
 A shrivell'd evidence how very small 
 A share of reason goes to rule this Ball. 
 Two reigns she'd blundei'd thro' still uppermost. 
 Quitted the third, nor gave the fourth for lost ; 15a 
 What manna still her tongue run o'er replete. 
 Thick, clammy, mawkish, purgatively sweet. 
 And fell her words like hail in summer day. 
 As hard, as cold, as apt to melt away. 
 The Lingua- Fr a nco' sediment of school, i^g 
 
 Where she miss'd science, mark'd her still more fool; 
 Which with six Latin shreds conn'd o'er with pain. 
 Wove the loose texture of her flimsy brain. 
 
 Shemumbled now tow'rds speech : but ere the course 
 Of tinkling nonsense guggled from its source, 160 
 Party, all-gracious mistress, who impart^ 
 Sense to void heads, and worth to hollow hearts, 
 Trembling for her new proselyte, made haste, 
 With kind precaution, where the brain is plac'd 
 
 In 
 
[ 30O ] 
 
 In skulls that have it, gently to distil 165 
 
 Three drops of sage prepared by Dr. Hill. 
 
 The clouds of dulness part, and just dispense 
 A wat'ry gleam of transitory sense; 
 New rays of tepid reason entrance find. 
 And short conceptions sprout within her mind. 17a 
 
 Thus in Umasan* Lapland, when the ground. 
 From the long rigour ofthe frost unbound. 
 Receives the lowly sun in level line 
 Refracted, for he only seems to shine: 
 The wond'ring native new-learn'd culture plies 1^5 
 And sees lean harvests in pale verdure rise, 
 Thin-scatter'd spires of trembhng bents appear. 
 And the wild barley shakes its bearded ear. 
 And thus she spoke, intelhgible grown. 
 With utt'rance new, and meaning not her own. iSo 
 
 *^ My voice shall be for open war, oh Peers 1 
 '' It suits so well my temper and my years, 
 :^* Which unimpaired preserve their wonted fire, 
 ** Demand employ, and scorn the word Retire; 
 
 " Nor 
 
 * The Sleur Martin Erefvahre, the present governor of that 
 province, has taken great pains to inftruct the inhabitants in 
 culture, writing and reading. 
 
[ 3^^ ] 
 
 " Nor from my shoulders think their burthen great, 
 ** Years press not from their number, but their 
 
 weight. 
 ** Oh were I but as young, high in renown, 
 *' As whenone Heir apparent to the Crown 
 '^^ I, at a Royal christ'ning, dar*d provoke, 
 ** Deserv'd his menace, tho' I 'scap'd its stroke ; 
 *' Or when, tho* somewhat doubled then witji age, 
 *' The next to him I glory 'd to engage ! 
 ** Witness ye banks of Cam, that overthrow, 
 " When thy dull stream had doubts which way to flow, 
 ** Till I triumphant won the laurell'd day, 1 95 
 
 ** And the disputed Title bore away! 
 " Forgive the boasts, me, since they serve to shew., 
 " To insult, nor to opposition new. 
 
 *' That glorious monarch, (so we call him now, 
 ** Whom when alive we treated God knows how, 
 " Whom ev'n the City now reveres, yet then 
 " Disdained to hear the name of Dettingen.) 
 
 ** Saw, when his sceptre trembled in his hand^ 
 " Me in the front of his deserters stand. 
 
 *' Nor think I single list in your design, 205 
 
 *^ The men who laugh at me, for me resign, 
 
 '' Themselve5 
 
[ 3©^ ] 
 
 *^ Themselves from what they'have in hand seclude, 
 " While hope of more appears like gratitude ; 
 ** These all increase your bands with ready aid, 
 " Forces the Coupt against itself has paid. 210 
 
 " Lead on, I follow, glad to have arraign'd^ 
 " Whatever measures my whole life maintained : 
 *^ Convictive contradictions come about, 
 : ** Seen in the different lights of in and out. 
 
 " Did I its general extent allow ? ' 21^ 
 
 ** I see th* Excise in all its horrors now. 
 *' Against the Craftsman did my writ prevail, 
 "And send poor Franklyn o'er and o'er to Jailf 
 " Now, perish'd Liberty ! I mourn aloud, 
 " Thy fall by forms, which then the law avow'd ! 
 ^' Made I, of heads like mine with numbers more, 
 [«« Such war and peace as ne'er were made before? 
 " The present peace with energy I hate, 
 " And kneel before the word Inadequate. 
 « Or was my judgment formerly inclined, 225 
 
 «« To think addresses spoke the people's mind ? 
 *« Instructed, now I see their full import, 
 ** Against they do, but never for, a Court : 
 
 « And 
 
C 303 ] 
 
 ** And yet it hurts me that it is address'd, 229 
 
 ** Bat when by Cambridge {b)ymoxt than all the rest/' 
 
 Th' overwhelming thought she could no longer bear. 
 But sputt 'ring still to speak, sunk to her chair. 
 
 {h) The Duke of Newcaflle was the Chancellor of the uni- 
 versity of Cambridge, 
 
 SND OF CANTO III. 
 
f 304 3 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM, 
 
 CANTO IV. 
 
 In study 'd dignity of action slow. 
 Bespeaking favour with a winning bow, . ' 
 
 Ambition next arose. Her pow'rful lore. 
 Credulity preventive stepp'd before ; 
 For Eloquence y the cheat, had brought her up 5 
 To all the slight-hand of the ball and cup; 
 Taught her to twist, and turn, and shew, and hide. 
 And make the worse appear the better side j 
 Shew'd her, to clash how contradictions ceas*d, 
 While fact and reason took what shape she pleas'd. 
 
 As the bright stream, which Nature loves to pour 
 Irriguous thro* the vale, had nurs'd each flow'r. 
 
 Had 
 
[ 305 1 
 Had charm'd the ear and eye thro' op'ning glades, 
 Widi untaught murmurs from unforc'd cascades; 
 But when compress'd thro' pipes, as whim prevails, 15 
 Squirts into fans, and suns, and peacocks tails : 
 The glitt'ring baubles who with wonder spies. 
 Receives the spout at last in his own eyes. 
 
 And thus, she said : " O Thou, who dost preside 
 " O'er Britain's Isle, and all her measures guide, 20 
 *^ Whose doctrine Heav'n's own precept far outgoes, 
 *' Bids us love, better than ourselves, our foes s 
 *' O Janus-Party I now incline to hear 
 *' Thy double face, and thy quadruple ear. 
 " And ye, now present, to my nod devote, 25 
 
 " Lords, and Lords betters, Aldermen ! take note 
 " That Folly to my bosom here I bend, 
 *' Her, my contempt till now, but now my friend, 
 " Link'd in the common cause she shall remain 
 " My firm confederate, till I rule again. 30 
 
 " 'Twere needless here to tell, (what yet you see 
 *« Draws its conceal'd, dim origin from me) 
 " The rage of Faction, when each nerve it moves, 
 " He, who disclaims not, tacitly approves. 
 " Behold ! the cloud, I said, would threat the land, 
 *' That cloud shall rise in likeness of this hand, 
 
 y '' Pour 
 
[306] 
 
 '^ Pour all its storms, directed as I please : 
 *' And wash away the hateful works of peace : 
 " Peace, which myself I dar'd not bring about, 
 '* I knew it right, but knew 'twould throw me out. 
 " Another ventured, foolish, or secure 41 
 
 " In his own soul, and above lust of powV, 
 " Seal'd the great deed to which his wish aspir'd, 
 *' And unrewarded, but by that, retir'd. 
 
 *^ And could he think, of peace the foe profest, 
 *' Title and pension had inclined to rest ? 
 •* That on Ambition's eye repose would creep, 
 " Luird by those medicated sops to sleep ? 
 
 *' She who twin'd unanimity, and shew*d 
 
 *' The wond'ring world how firm Britannia stood, 
 
 " Can the reverted wheel as quick incite, ji 
 
 " Till all the splitting fibres disunite. 
 
 " She, who fell Party's tortuous folds could break, 
 
 " And set her foot upon that dragon's neck, 54 
 
 '^ The deadly teeth, which from those jaws she drew, 
 
 *' Can plant, and they can pullulate anew. 
 
 " Those grains of discord giv'n to fertile land 
 
 *' Sprout rank, and faithful to the sower's hand. 
 
 " Yes, in ripe harvest see them nod again, 
 
 " A threat'ning crop of discontented men J 60 
 
 Which 
 
C- 307 ] 
 
 " Which way to wave they fi'om my breath expect, 
 " Blame as I point, and hate as I direct. 
 
 " It grieves me, Folly, nay it gives me fears, — 
 " This foul defection of your black Hussars, 
 " Whose wav'ring duty, truant from its string, 65 
 *' Transfers itself from Chancellor to King. 
 *' Now by the laurels oiBelleisle^ my boast, 
 " And the unnumber'd millions which they cost, 
 ^* Should e'er my Borough for addressing move, 
 ** And honest Allen dare the peace approve, 70 
 ^' In such contempt the rebels I should hold, 
 '^ rd toss them back their dirty box of gold ! 
 
 " But ere the People languish, haste to use 
 *' The daring spirit we have known t'infuse; 
 *' The English Oak-boy as you bid him cries, 75 
 " And to roar louder firmly shuts his eyes: 
 *' He's your's at pleasure clos'd while they remain, 
 *^ All's over if he opens them again. 
 " Employ him while, all enemies o'ercome, 
 *' He longs for new ones in his friends at home, 80 
 *^ The proper catch -words Farty shall provide, 
 '' To range the fools on either foolish side; 
 " No previous injury need rouse their force, 
 *^ Match but the Bronghtons^ and they hate of course. 
 
 Y 2 '' Oh, 
 
[ 3o8 ] 
 
 '^ Oh if we seize with skill the coming hour, S^ 
 " And re-invest us with a robe of power, 
 ** Rule while we live ! let future days transmute 
 ^' To evVy merit while all we've charged on Butej 
 '^ Let late Posterity receive his name, 
 *^ And swell its sails with evVy breath of fame j 90 
 " Downward, as far as Time shall roll his tide, 
 " With ev'ry pennant flying, let it glide, 
 ^^ And Truth, emerging from the clouds we raise, 
 " Gild all their orient colours with her blaze. 
 <' Let his lov'd Arts, attendant on his way, 95 
 " Their wanton trophies to the gale display; 
 *' While each dispassionate, each honest pen 
 " Deterred by clamour, nor allur'd by gain, 
 *' Bard or Historian, shall from either shore 
 *' Hail its approach, and its great course explore; 
 ** Faithful to probity, and virtue's cause, 
 ** Pursue its progress, and direct th' applause : 
 *' Glad Gratulation shall with shouts approve, 
 ** And own him worthy of his sov'reign's love." 
 
 She had proceeded, but the mingled sound 105 
 Of arguing voices spread the table round. 
 Some affirm'd positive, some ask'd perplext. 
 And some launched out in notes upon the text 3 
 
 Till 
 
C 309 ] 
 
 TiJl one more audible than all the rest. 
 
 With strong exertion thus himself expressM : i lU 
 
 *' Why sit we here projecting some new blow, 
 
 *^ Since Fate determines all events below? 
 
 *^ On that tribunal let our envoy wait, 
 
 ** And who so fit as Folly upon Fate?" 
 
 Th' advice was grateful to the gen'ral ear, 1 15 
 All begg'd that great commission she would bear. 
 Which, bowing low, she said should be atchiev'd, 
 Tho' trembling at the honour she receiv'd; 
 The point thus settled, from the board they move, 
 Dispersed as pleasure led, or business drove. 120 
 
 But Folly sought her library with speed. 
 For one she had for show, but not to read, 
 Therejumbling in her head what she thought. Thought, 
 How best to find the trackless road she sought, 
 She chose t' essay the force of her own prate, 125 
 Remembering to how many once 'twas fate. 
 
 And now the mystic gibberish she tried, 
 Something that neither promis'd nor deny'd. 
 But drew one on to hope, '* it wish'd so well — 
 *' And though it doubted, yet — it could not tell — 
 *' O ! my dear What's your Name, of me be sure, 
 '* I would a member had not ask'd before — 
 
 Y 3 " You'll 
 
[ 3IO ] 
 
 « You'll let me see you soon, by then I'll try'* — 
 Then seem'd to squeeze a hand, and said, Good-by." 
 
 Strange force of charms ! By this the solid ground 
 Grew mortal sick with the unmeaning sound, 136 
 In strong convulsions rock'd ^ at length it cleft. 
 And a wide opening towards the center left. 
 To regions unexplor'd, which, dark and great. 
 Are the domain of Mystery-of-State. 140 
 
 Pond'ring awhile she stood, and wish'd to know 
 The Ca/ais 'pasBRgQ to these realms below, 
 'Till curiosity her fears expung'd, 
 And she intrepid on her errand plung'd. 
 
 Now, as shejourney'd, faded on her sight 145 
 The feeble glimmerings of distant light. 
 Faint and more faint the intercepted ray 
 Withdrew itself, and died upon her way. 
 And now thro' darkness, palpable, abhorr'd. 
 Her groping hands the doubtful path explor'd, 1 50 
 Till, nigh the confines where the lower sphere 
 Joins to our world, but yet is ne'er the near. 
 Thin streaks of budding day salute her eye 
 When the first dawnings of the nether sky j 
 For other suns they have and stars than we, 155 
 By which no mortal but themselves can see. 
 
 Now 
 
[ 311 ] 
 
 Now the receding gloom her sight renew'd. 
 And cloath*d with form each bright'ning object stood, 
 The opening scene with wonder she surveys, 
 Not knowing that she travelFd her own ways. 1 60 
 
 Here for the upper surface she dlscern'd. 
 How ilatt'ry lay to bubling lather churn'd, 
 Whose bottom form'd a thicker sediment 
 Of coarse and clumsy clergy compliment. 
 This happy compost with its supple oil 1 65 
 
 Invigorates and opes the fertile soil. 
 Calls forth each seed of dirt to bud and flow'r, 
 And trick itself in all the hues of powV; 
 While from her urn Partiality supplies 
 The stream to blood and merit she denies. 170 
 
 Hence blooms th* unlearn'd Divine in all the glow 
 His double-petal'd mitre can bestow. 
 Hence spreads the Under Clerk his ample shoot. 
 And strikes in the revenue deep his root. 
 Hence high his flourished head the Valet rears, 175 
 And hence Attornies blossom into Peers. 
 
 Still lower, in their different strata spread. 
 As Levity thought fit to range, were laid 
 Close in their shells involved, yet innocent. 
 The unhatch'd vermin of a government. 180 
 
 Y 4 Here 
 
C 312 3 
 
 Here grubs and maggots Favour's sun-shine wait, 
 To get new shapes, and wing the world in state. 
 Or, more industrious, snug, and warm as milk. 
 Spin their soft nests, and wrap themselves in silk. 
 Hence snails of Office thro' their slimy tracks 185 
 Crawl off at last with houses on their backs. 
 Hence worms and earwigs in new figures sport. 
 And tinge themselves in ev'ry dye of Court, 
 'Till pinch'd with cold, another form they try, 
 And dip their varying films in Liberty. 190 
 
 Here yet unfang'd, wriggle the viper race. 
 Which fond Administration broods in place, 
 'Till fatten'd on herself, and fit for strife. 
 They thro her bowels gnaw their way to life. 
 Here public Zeal, the alligator, hides 195 
 
 Her selfish eggs, and for their birth provides, 
 Of incubation in no need they stand. 
 But hatch in Popularity's hot sand ; 
 To prey with open mouths away they scour. 
 Yet seem to mourn the country they devour. 200 
 
 !Now lower as she went, the hoary deep 
 Discovers where the seeds of metals sleep. 
 
 She 
 
[ 313 ] 
 
 She saw, and lik'd to see, the plodding head 
 
 Do the world's business, yet be only lead ; 
 
 That impudence, its copper birth forgot, 205 
 
 Grows brass, and is important on the spot ; 
 
 That talk and pertness still succeed by din, 
 
 And shine and tinkle in the shape of tin 3 
 
 That ignorance and meanness rais'd to pow'r. 
 
 Their low materials quickly silver o'er; 210 
 
 That Whig and Tory principles unfold 
 
 Their like constituence, and turn to gold. 
 
 But with the quick-silver, escap'd her view. 
 
 Or seeing what it was she little knew. 
 
 Last saw, where party-gems their rays refine, 215 
 
 How Patriotism inflames the blazing mine. 
 
 She now perceiv'd, from this instructive sight, 
 A kind of reminiscence, all was right. 
 
 The soul is never taught, but recollects 
 The traces of its prior intellects, 22« 
 
 Acknowledges the state she held before, 
 And owns the beaming shield at Troy she bore. 
 
 END OF CANTO IV. 
 
[ 3H ] 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 CANTO V. 
 
 AiL-dreaded Nemesis ! whose iron-rod 
 Obeys in Party's Star-chamber her nod. 
 Oh ! keen to mark, with fierce but patient glance. 
 The angry hour of penalty advance. 
 Wherein t' express, vindictive of the wrong, 5 
 Severe exaction from the blabbing tongue; 
 May it be lawful ! may th' adventurous Muse, 
 Unscourg'd of Thee, her farther song effuse 
 From sacred ignorance to light which bears 
 Secrets, to uninitiated ears i® 
 
 Perhaps forbidden, which from human sight 
 Thick politics involve in treble night ! 
 
 I Shud'dring 
 
r z^s ] 
 
 Shudd'ring she repursucs her path and feels 
 In thought, thy Blood-hounds op'ning at her heels. 
 Yet whence her fears? what modern Bard that sings, 
 Thinks he can make too free with God and Kings ? i6 
 
 Still Folly thro' the road abstruse, profound. 
 Her serious, tho' not thoughtful, footsteps wound. 
 To dissipate the fears which round her grew, 
 She would have whistled, but no tune she knew. 20 
 Yet that denied, its failure she repays 
 With scraps of Cambridge speeches in her praise. 
 Which little understood, but much believ'd. 
 The tedious error of her way deceived. 
 
 When all at once, a Portico in sight, 25 
 
 Wild above mle^ erects its daring height, 
 Bold architecture ! in whose rough design 
 All orders, jumbled in confusion, join; 
 The huddled members cluster into state. 
 For Quantity of course appears like Great. 30 
 
 The boist'rous Roman Brothers plan n'd its frame. 
 And wounded deep in brass the Gracchi's name. 
 
 But 
 
C 3'6 1 
 
 But heap on heap while rose the desp'rate shell, 
 
 Its scaffold, faithless to its builders, fell. 
 
 This English hands, with better skill supplied, 35 
 
 New rear'd, and flung its arch from side to side. 
 
 Sacred to Opposition stands the mass. 
 
 And yields to Honour's temple easy pass. 
 
 Leaving poor Virtue's antiquated road 
 
 By painful fools, like Amhurst^ to be trod. 40 
 
 Go, liquify the brass, bid it receive 
 The form of Amhurst, and attempt to live; 
 Raise the high car, relieve it with his deeds. 
 Thou, Terror, harness the impatient steeds. 
 Strew prostrate provinces his wheels beneath, 45 
 Behind, let Vict'ry, hov'ring with her wreath. 
 Spread her broad vans beyond the Roman stretch. 
 No, this, Posterity, 'tis thine to sketch : 
 Our housewife Britain, a much cheaper way. 
 Bids Obloquy her debts of honour pay. 50 
 
 Here Folly entered, dazzled to behold 
 The lofty coving flame with fretted gold. 
 Where some Copernicus had aim'd to trace 
 The system state- Astronomers embrace. 
 
 Thick 
 
[ 317 3 
 
 Thick intersections cross the puzzled score, 55 
 With centric and eccentric scribbled o^er. 
 
 Here regal Pow*r, sun of the circhng sphere, 
 Shorn of its fierceness, leads the temp'rate year. 
 Shedding mild radiance, which from pole to pole 
 Gives warmth, and life, and beauty to the whole. 60 
 
 Hardly subordinate, around this source 
 The wandering fires of Party whirl their course j 
 Each sullen Saturn to dark distance strays. 
 And envies ev'ry other star its rays. 
 
 Transverse, broke from their orbits, streaming fly 6^ 
 The angry comets of Ambition's sky. 
 Burns the whole hemisphere with sanguine glare : 
 Ye Monarchs tremble ! and ye People stare ! 
 Ah ! whither drive these busts of threatening blaze ? 
 Why Newton says they drive to Stow and Hays ; 70 
 But one frail life was too confined t'explain 
 How wond'rously they come about again. 
 
 Nor wanted on the walls, rich artifice 
 Of Emblem, Hieroglyphic, or Device, 
 
 Grotesque 
 
- f 3i8 ] 
 Grotesque or Heraldry, all wildly grac'd ^5 
 
 In gaudy nothingness of modern taste. 
 
 Here, Eloquence pours forth her thun'dring tide, 
 And roars, like London Bridge, on either side ; 
 There Public Spirit, swan-like, spreads his snow. 
 But hides the bosom grim with ooze below; 80 
 
 Here, Clamour, like the cramp, drowns Worth at once. 
 There, bladder Party swims the leaden Dunce; 
 Here, Liberty, turn'd Fish-wife, flings her dung. 
 Makes all her mouths, and shews her ell of tongue; 
 There, cleanly Satire, to preserve us sweet, 85 
 
 Rakes up her filth, and poisons all a street ; 
 Here, medley monsters sprawl, mis-shapen things, 
 And Patriots rampant over muzzled Kings ; 
 With these, the white-hors'd Saint, reversed his fight, 
 For, sad ! the furious Dragon slays the Knight : 9a 
 And here (for Compliment would needs bestow 
 Folly's own, proper, crest in freshest glow,) 
 Gives his gay train the Peacock to the wind. 
 Unmindful of his naked rump behind; 
 While, lib'ral of th' immodulated note, 95 
 
 He screams thro' all his dissonance of throat. 
 
 Between, 
 
C 319 ] 
 Between, hang Collars, Coronets, and Swords, 
 And azure Circles charg'd with mystic words. 
 Each honour contraband that Faction yields, ' 
 Unsweated for in Glory's crimson fields. too 
 
 Much she admir'd, for all was vast and grand. 
 But great admirers never understand ; 
 Thro' her own medium view'd, to her they seem 
 Realizations of a fev'rish dream, 
 Dream she once dream'd ! but cur'd by pestled wight, 
 And grateful in proportion to her fright. 
 She made the Public pay (it was not dear) 
 Her clysters with eight hundred pounds a year. 
 
 From hence an ample Court in proud parade 
 Extends to stretch of sight its colonade, no 
 
 \Vhere in full 'Change, and busy disarray. 
 Throng all who trade the Constitution way; 
 Throng all who seek to barter side for side. 
 All who oppose, or puzzle, or divide. 
 Throng Fav'rites, Ministers, in buzzing swarms, 
 And mighty Monarchs' insubstantial forms ; 1 1 6 
 
 All 
 
[ 320 ] 
 All mix with all, nor here resentment know. 
 For as they lov'd above, they hate below. 
 
 But, separate from the hubbub, Folly view'd 
 Where her late Master's gracious figure stood. 120 
 ' And, ah ! great Sire, with falt'ring voice she cried, 
 « Things are extremely alter'd since you died. 
 ' Now Hanover no more can cloud your fame, 
 ' But ev*ry soul, that's out, adores your name. 
 « Did rancour on your living virtues wait? 125 
 ' Extinct, we hail you, good, and wise, and great, 
 * Your Reign with this invidiously compare; 
 < 'Tis all the praise a British King can share — " 
 The injur'd shade, disdaining to reply, 
 Cried, Pooh! and stalk*d majestically by. 130 
 
 She would have blush'd, tho' following still to speak. 
 If blush could ever burn on Folly's cheek. 
 When, lo ! the ghost of Pelham stopp'd her way. 
 " Alas! too soon review'd, sad sister say, 
 *< Or is it piety could hither drive 135 
 
 *< Thee, tho' without a body, still, alive, 
 " Or, eel-like slipp'd away beyond thy pow'r, 
 >^ Pursu'st thou here th* irrevocable hour?" 
 
 To 
 
C 321 ] 
 
 To whom in answer. Folly ; " From above 
 ** Nor piety conducts, (we did not love,) 140 
 
 ** Nor yet some early hour elaps'd, again 
 " Hunt I thro' all the subsequent in vain; 
 " But solemn embassy to Fate that brings 
 ** On deep embaras in the state of things: 
 " Lead on the unknown way, and as we go, 145 
 " Instruct me how you pass your time below." 
 
 When thus, at once advancing, Pelham said, 
 " Think not our manners quit us when we're dead, 
 *^ Secure to be, they mock Death's feeble shaft, 
 ^* Smile at the Doctor, and defy his draught ; 150 
 " And hurrying downward (rather than survey 
 " The foolish farce their body has to play), 
 " The dry-eyed wife, the mutes dissolved in jokes, 
 *^ The hackney-coachmen-gentlemen in cloaks, 
 '^ Th' enfranchis'd son, the mercenary crowd; 155 
 *' The tears that smile, and groans that laugh aloud, 
 '^ Here recommence, on a long lease renew'd, 
 *' The self-same measures they alive pursued. 
 
 " Thus Walpole still, with golden balance nice, 
 *' Exactly librates patriots and their price, 160 
 
 Z " While 
 
i 322 ] 
 
 " While doubts the beam, one turning sixpence giv*n 
 ** Mounts Virtue, her accustom'd road, to Heav'n. 
 
 " Thus Granville, still impetuous without aim, 
 " Less fond of pow'r than literary fame, 
 *' In the prime passion lets the second sink, 165 
 " Then, all his pleasing knowledge drowns in drink. 
 
 *' And thus shall Pitt, whene'er he treads these ways, 
 " Still sue to apron'd citizens for praise, 
 *' Still, faithful to the steps by which he rose, 
 " Oppose, and Opposition re-oppose, 170 
 
 " His amphisb^na management renew, 
 " And bid the head of State its tail pursue. 
 " From Pitt th' infernal Bench new rules shall draw, 
 '^ Till Rhadamanth decide on more than law, 
 *' Minos inflame his culprits to rebel, 1 75 
 
 *^ And w^acus grow popular in hell. 
 
 " Bute, as above, shall exercise below 
 " Each blessed gift Heaven's favour could bestow, 
 *' And Mansfield still, superior to pretence, 
 ^' Shall put his only trust in honest sense." 180 
 
 Here 
 
[ 3^3 ] 
 
 Here Fol.ly interrupting, (for just here 
 The sound pf exultation struck her ear, 
 P^ans responsive from celestial choirs. 
 Breath of soft flutes, and touch of heav'nly lyres. 
 While fanning Zephyrs scattered, as they rose, 185 
 What gums and spice the gale of Ceylon blows,) 
 " Say brother, whence, and why, around us swim 
 " This cloud of odour, and this voice of hymn?** 
 To whom thus Pelham : *' Where thou may'st perceive 
 " Yon bays, and laurels thickest interweave 190 
 " Their ever- verdant branches, render'd quite 
 " Impervious, as insuperable their height, 
 '^ Crown*d with immortal flow'rs, in that bless'd space, 
 *' The souls of perfect Patriots find their place. 
 " Bless'd space ! to pure disint'rest justly due, 195 
 ** But trod, like Paradise, by only two. 
 
 ** No Catos gain admittance to those climes, 
 " Whose virtues do more harm than Cesar's crimes, 
 '^ Who from the first to last, with equal pride, 
 '* Mean each by Liberty, that He should guide, 200 
 
 *' But far remov'd from reach of Party jobs, 
 '\ The war of pamphlets, and the pelt of mobs, 
 
 Z 2 '^ From 
 
[ 3H ] 
 '^ From Dunquerque clamour'd as the peace is now, 
 " From an ungrateful Monarch's alter'd brow, 
 *' From Shaftesburys and Buckinghams, (so call 205 
 
 " The s and T s then who led the brawl,) 
 
 ^' ThereCLARENDONjwIthhisSouTHAMPTONjreigns, 
 
 ^* Knit in eternal Friendship's holy chains. 
 
 ^' Hail sacred character ! the claim to praise 
 
 *' Abuse and injury but serve to raise. 210 
 
 ** What tho' no riots shouted thy lov'd name, 
 " No Guild-hall portrait glar'd thee into fame, 
 " No city-letters stuff'd thee with applause, 
 «' The scare-court mawkin of a desp'rate Cause; 
 " Yet self- approving Conscience, which surveys 215 
 " Without one pang the tenor of her ways, 
 ^' Sees all her aims concentring to this end, 
 " To fix the crown, yet be the people's friend ; 
 <« To curb, but not by faction, pow'r of ill, 
 " And save a venal State against its will; 220 
 
 " Bids warmer transports in thy bosom glow . 
 ^« Than gratified Ambition could bestow. 
 
 *« Yet while I may, oh 1 let me hither bring . 
 '« Each fragrant product of the blushing spring, 
 
 t *« And 
 
[ 3^5 ] 
 ^^ And while I heap these altars, all thine own, 225 
 '^ And clear away the moss Neglect has sown, 
 " Do thou accept the late, but honest, wreaths, 
 " Which Envy holds from Virtue while she breathes. 
 " All hail, unblemish'd Hyde ! who would commute 
 " Thy banishment, or the retreat of Bute, 230 
 " For all that Pitt of windy triumph feels, 
 ** With the whole Common-Council at his heels!" 
 
 Here Pelham ceas'd, in rapture deep immers'd, 
 Whic^ Folly soon, half trembling, thus dispers'd, 
 
 " But tell me then, since Heav'n such blessings 
 " show'rs 225 
 
 " On real Patriots, what becomes of ours? 
 *^ Who, mad to repossess the pow'r we've lost, 
 " Wish the whole country in distraction tost, 
 " Order revers'd, confounded right and wrong, 
 *' The strait path crooked, and the short one long, 
 " Who truth and falsehood see, as suits the time, 
 " Wilkes nought but virtue, Sandwich nought 
 
 " but crime ? 
 " Who sigh that others don't forsake their trust, 
 " But sicken because France and Spain are just ? 
 
 Z 3 '' Does 
 
[ 326 ] 
 
 '' Does not, in dreadful counter balance. Pain, 245 
 " Natural alternative, for such remain ?" 
 
 When Pel ham thus, with countenance secure; 
 " Feel no alarm, whatever they endure : 
 " Vengeance no doubt, in ample portion spilt, 
 " For penalty is but the tail of guilt. 250 
 
 *' But, whether on their vitajs, day by day, 
 *• The gnawing vultur Disappointment prey, 
 " Or doomed, the leaky sieve of hope to fill, 
 " Or roll the stone of Fadion up the hill, 
 *' To thrid a giddy round, which knows no pause, 
 " Whirl'd on the wheel of popular Applause; 256 
 *^ Or strive to snatch in Expectation's dream, 
 *' The bobbing apple, and elusive stream y 
 *' Concerns not those, who into life are brought, 
 ^^ Seal'd with a blest immunity from thought 1 
 *^ For pitying Justice tacks, in their defence, 260 
 
 Inculpability to want of sense. 
 
 €i 
 
 ♦« Nature, like other mothers, doats upon 
 ** The dear defects which grace a booby son. 
 
 " Soon 
 
[ 327 ] 
 
 " Soon as her blessing on the dolt she pours, 265 
 " On Fortune's breath the lucky feather soars: 
 " But whether, upward, from its lightness, blown, 
 " The clinging trifle hangs upon a Throne; 
 " Or, whisk'd about, on Faction's eddy plays, 
 ** Seeming to give the motion it obej^s; 270 
 
 " Alike to nothing all its squirts amount, 
 *' j^nd of it's doings Heaven takes no account, 
 
 *' But here we part, farewell. Thro' either gate, 
 
 " Prone, of itself the road conducts to Fate." 
 
 Two gates there are, which seem almost to join. 
 
 Yet differ in materials and design. 276 
 
 The one, of solid History compact. 
 
 Rears its firm greatness on the rock of Fact ; 
 
 The Tuscan order forms its stately face. 
 
 And charms in graceful negligence of grace. 280 
 
 The other stands a pile of meaner note. 
 
 Built of Biography and Anecdote, 
 
 Composit, lac'd with Gothic and Chinese, 
 
 Displeasing, from its over zeal to please. 
 
 Thro' this, whatever will, a passage earns; 285 
 To all that comes the facil wicket turns; 
 
 Z4 To 
 
[ 328 ] 
 
 To semblances, which sporting Fancy flings. 
 Then onion-coats, from surfaces of things : 
 Except when, in their pleasing turn of ward, 
 Plutarch or Campbell happen upon guard; 
 They with just rigour, scrutinizing fit, 291 
 
 But crown with roses all that they admit. 
 
 Nor balanced Folly in her choice of gate. 
 Now first grown conscious of her want of weight. 
 But kept her pace, unbroken by delay, 295 
 
 And thro' the latter issued on her way. 
 
 END OF CANTO V 
 
[ 3^9 ] 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 CANTO VI. 
 
 Of perfect diamond a solid rock. 
 Far from the tempest's beat and earthquake's shock. 
 Its massive spurs down to the centre shoots. 
 Where endless Permanency binds the roots ; 
 Upon its summit awefully elate 5 
 
 Immoveably is fix'd the throne of Fate : 
 The wond'rous pile no mark of structure shews. 
 Unhewn, unbuilt, the living quarry grows. 
 Up tlie steep height an iron causeway tends, 
 And at the footstool of the Monarch ends ; 10 
 
 Here Folly pass'd, and, as she climb'd the mound. 
 Hollow, and loud her shuffling steps resound. 
 
 Rais'd 
 
[ 330 3 
 
 Rais'd on his seat the hoary Sire appear'd. 
 And spread profuse his ample flow of beard 5 
 No condescension his firm looks avow, 15 
 
 Inexorable sternness knits his brow. 
 Around him bawl, but olam'rous to no end. 
 The fond addresses which we mortals send ; 
 He to their purport turns a deafen'd ear. 
 Or answers traversly the wasted pray'r; 20 
 
 To spendthrift sons eternal fathers gives. 
 And health untaintable to modern wives 5 
 The maiden's pious vows are still repaid 
 With husbands bad at board, and worse abed ; 
 To Britain (every plume of glory won) 25 
 
 Sends news-papers, and all the work's undone : 
 Or, just as Party thinks to crown her pains. 
 Gives resolution, and the Prince still reigns. 
 
 Before his feet was plac'd, slave of his sway, 
 
 Necessity, whom Men and Gods obey, 30 
 
 Her strong right hand a pond'rous hammer held. 
 
 Her left with adamantine nails was fill'd, 
 
 Close to her side, of steel an anvil rose, 
 
 (The ^oundine anvil never feels repose) 
 
 ^ ^ "^ ^ With 
 
With these on this, as fast as Fate assents, 35 
 
 She rivets actions down to their events. 
 
 Millions of Second- causes claim in vain 
 
 Their seat usurp'd, and urge their right to reign; 
 
 She holds possession still j while they pursue. 
 
 For ever, their rejected suit, anew. 40 
 
 On ev'ry side, and scatter'd ev'ry^way. 
 Her finish'd labours in wild parcels lay, 
 Unrang'd by their importance^ equal here 
 The loss of battles, or at whist appear; 
 A Statesman chang'd, or lodging newly lett, 45 
 Empires transferred, or fashions out of date. 
 The joys, the vows, th' extinction of man's race 
 Serve but to make the litter of the place. 
 
 Here, trebly clench'd the dire injunction lay 
 
 For War t' extend his yet too narrow sway; 50 
 
 Hunger or Lust the contest first began. 
 
 Ambition soon improved upon the plan; 
 
 Religion next iniiam'd the fell debate, 
 
 Andsteel'd our hearts, andedg'd our swords with hate ; 
 
 Last, Commerce for an endless quarrel stood, ^£ 
 
 And all before seem'd penury of blood. 
 
 There 
 
I 33^ ] 
 
 There was ordain'd. Law should untie her nddse. 
 And slip the dogs of Licence and Abuse; 
 To their own kennel's stench famihar grown, 
 But pois'ning every nose except their own, 60 
 
 They with full cry the dubious scent explore. 
 And trail wherever Scandal touch'd before : 
 Still, oh the shame ! still the loud yelp proceeds. 
 And the first head of all the forest bleeds. 
 
 Here, in like volume, the decree of Fate 65 
 Forbids that madmen should divide the State; 
 They with absurd, illiberal, desp'rate push. 
 To shame ev'n Party, and make Faction blush. 
 Strive, but in vain, to alienate the hearts 
 Of a whole People great in arms and arts; 70 
 
 To us, by Nature, Reason, In'trest, Blood, 
 * Conjoined, and union'd by the circling flood. 
 
 Thro' these as Folly pass'd with tott'ring gait. 
 From thinking hurry gave an air of state. 
 And tripping at the last unlucky law, 75 
 
 (As witches stumble o'er a cross of straw) 
 She chanc'd to kick one bundle; light it roll'd 
 
 Into existence ; in it was foretold 
 
 A Mock' 
 
[ 333 ] 
 A Mock-heroic should employ the pains 
 Of venal quilis, and party-heated brains. 80 
 
 She on her knees, with hands devoutly clos'd. 
 At once her message and herself expos'd ; 
 To whom in answer Fate : '^ Thus far to come, 
 " Swell all its rage, and lash itself to foam, 
 '' O'er every mound of decency to ride, 85 
 
 " Has been allow'd to riot's moon-drawn tide; 
 " Here its proud vsaves shall stop, the boift'rous flood, 
 *' On which ye hull'd, desert you in the mud. 
 
 " The mists that veil the morning of this reign, 
 " The breach of Order shall disperse again, 90 
 
 *' Broke they shall scud before the piercing ray, 
 '' And add new glories to its burst of da)^ 
 
 *' See the glad prospect shine! a Briton born,* 
 
 "^ Whom virtues. Angels might possess, adorn, 
 
 '"' Gives lustre to the Throne; whose deeds confess 
 
 '' No thirst of pow'r, except the pow'r to bless; 96 
 
 *' Who from the sceptre no exemption draws, 
 
 ^^ And lives but the first subject of the laws; 
 
 For 
 * George the Third. 
 
f 334 3 
 ^' For Monarch reckons in his moral plan, 
 *' But second title to the Honest Man. ico 
 
 /« Him, had the World deserv'd, Heav'n had de- 
 sign'd 
 *' The sov 'reign, as the friend, of all mankind, 
 " Plac'd as its gentle delegate he'd stood, 
 " And won them by example to be good; 
 *^ Taught them the social duties how to blend, 105 
 
 y. 
 
 " The Son, the Brother, Husband, Father, Friend. — 
 
 *^ Rouz'd from their dream, the honest and the wise 
 " Shall view confusion with abhorrent eyes; 
 " Nay, the misled shall say, while drops the tear, 
 *' How could our love be scribbled into fear } no 
 
 *' Yet but a little, ere this child of Glare, 
 " This mighty bubble burst to empty air. 
 ," Rise, crown'd with light, imperious ^//J;»«^;/^ rise, 
 ** Then sink to nothing in the Nation's eyes; " 
 " See wild Dispersion craze the Babel-pile, 1 15 
 *' And some desert the cause, and some the isle, 
 *^ Skulking, by twos and threes, away they fall, 
 « As prescient rats forsake the mould'ring wall : 
 
 " See 
 
[ 335 ] 
 
 *^ See others drop, despairing of resource, 
 
 " The melancholy martyrs of remorse, 120 
 
 '' Wilkes outlawed, Churchill in his beer expire, 
 
 " And mute your trumpet, as unstrung your lyre. 
 
 *' Go, tell your senders to revere their King : 
 
 *^ And in your private year, this only thing 
 
 '* Of which it can be capable, receive, 125 
 
 <' iFoife Of pout age I)abe neher long to libe." 
 
 Nor more:— And Folly backward on her way 
 Sullen and silent turn'd her steps, tow'rds day. 
 
 And now, fair Decency ! to whom we owe 
 That peace and order are things known below, 130 
 That man was taught, with better aim, to push 
 Beyond his acorn feast and bed of rush. 
 The rugged cavern's shelter to disown. 
 And seek convenience in the peopled town, 
 There to distinguish, in subjection mild, i j^ 
 
 'Tween reasonably free and staring wild ; 
 Do Thou forgive, if stung with honest pain. 
 Too far o'er Satire's far too open plain 
 I urge the sportive steed, while I pursue 
 Through his own paths, the Blatant beast in view. 
 
 Do 
 
C 336 ] 
 
 Do thou forgive, if e're I, unexact, 141 
 
 Of his own dirt some little specks contract ; 
 Hard were the task to thrid so foul a way. 
 And yet no plashing of the soil betray. 
 
 But if provok'd to vindicate thy laws, 145 
 
 I dip my pen in Truth and Virtue's cause; 
 If I, when Scandal shoots her load of shame. 
 Restore it honestly to whence it came ; 
 If my sole aim is licence to restrain. 
 And laugh thy rebels home to thee again ; 1 50 
 
 If, not desirous of the wreath of bays. 
 Nor over ticklish to the straw of praise, 
 Unask'd, unpromis'd, if these lines I pour. 
 Conviction-drawn, but from my soul abhor 
 The name of Satirist, who to his share 155 
 
 Needs but an ear to rhime and front to dare, 
 To hide his splendid bile in moral mafk, 
 And set himself at once about his task; 
 As a rough water-dog, New England's breed. 
 Fresh plaister'd from some pond with mud and weed. 
 Round from his fleece the dirty puddle shakes, 161 
 Rejoicing in the spatter that he makes. 
 
 If 
 
[ 337 3 
 
 If these my motives, not alone forgive, 
 
 But bid this Just Retaliation, live ; 
 
 While libels, when they've flourish'd for a spirt, 165 
 
 Fall like their brother leaves, and rot to dirt. 
 
 •> 
 And this shall live, to tell a better age. 
 
 That on a time when Party, swoln to rage, 
 
 Pour'd ev'ry stream of licence uncontroul'd, 
 
 And man and beast down the mad torrent rolFd j 
 
 One, whom the Muses rarely deign'd to fire, 171 
 
 To stem the headlong tide opposed his lyre; 
 
 That urg'd by Truth, he turn'd the tuneful art 
 
 From sounds to things, from passion to the heart ; 
 
 For Faction's mirror, held up Reason's light, 1 75 
 
 Shew'd erring mobs that measures may be right ; 
 
 That pow'r and place are Opposition's aim. 
 
 That Patriotism and Int'rest are the same. 
 
 That order is, what gives us bliss below, 179 
 
 And our best knowledge, when we're well to know, 
 
 END OF THE LAST CANTO, 
 
 A a 
 
T 339 3 
 
 :ae 
 
 INDEX 
 
 TO 
 
 PATRIOTISM, 
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC POEM. 
 
 A. 
 
 Abuse, and injures cannot depress characters great in them- 
 selves, V. 2io. 
 Addresses, fpeak the mind of the People only one way, III, 
 
 Admirers, (great) what they never do, V. i03. 
 
 itgyptian hall, whence copied, II. 3. 
 
 ^acus, when he will begin to be popular, V. 176. 
 
 -^neas, parallel, to his reconnoitring his own portrait, on his 
 
 entering the temple of Juno at Carthage, I, 159. 
 Ajax, (ghoft of) its behaviour in hell to Ulysses, copied, V. 130; 
 Aldermen, (of London) by whom reckoned fuperior in rank to 
 
 Peers of Great Britain, IV. 26. 
 Allen (Mr.) eafy prophecy from his known probity of what 
 
 afterward was his behaviour, IV. 70. 
 Alliteration^ burlesqued, I. 26. 11. 128. IV, 164. VI. 120. 
 
 and through the whole poem. 
 Ambition, (the Goddess) the excessive awe, in which Pride 
 
 stands of her. III. 49. 
 - the same after digesting Title and Pension as before^ 
 
 IV. 4;. 
 ■ Feast, given, by whom, in obedience to her orders^ 
 
 II. 186. 
 Amhurst, (Sir JefFry) mistakes the road to Honour's temple, 
 
 A a 2 AmphlsboenxF 
 
C 340 ] 
 
 Amphisbcfina, the great convenience to that serpent of having 
 a head at each end, by which means he can move back- 
 wards or forwards with equal facility, V, 17a. 
 
 Anarchy, the glories of it not to be brought about without 
 difficulty. II. 155. 
 
 Antonine, his great resemblance to Nero, XL 146. 
 
 Apothecary, a place of 800I per atin. given to one for curing 
 Folly's fever, V. 108. 
 
 Apples, in mourning, where introduced with great propriety, 
 
 III. 88. 
 
 Architecture, what sick of, II. 2. 
 
 Atheists (State) their favourite doctrine, III. 129. 
 
 Attornies, (certain plants so called) what flower they bear, 
 
 IV. 176. 
 
 Aylesbury, (town of) first to hear the jar, occasioned by open- 
 ing of Faction's doors, L 71. 
 
 B. 
 
 Bards (modern) with whom rather over familiar, V. 16. 
 Battles, of what importance esteemed by Fate, VI. 44. 
 Bawdry, has its share even in the political night, I. 4. 
 Bed, (spread for Pride by Faction) the layers ©f it. Cunning, 
 
 Abuse, Violence, II. 191. 
 ^<^gg^ngf (of favours) by whom used as a vehicle for reproach, 
 
 II. 150. 
 Belleisle, excc&sive productive of laurels, but immensely deaf, 
 
 IV. 67. 
 Blackbird, a bird of ill omen, HI. 27. Its metamorphosis, 
 
 22i Its cry, s6. 
 Blacksmiths, who they were that made the bolts ta Factions 
 
 gate, I. 62. 
 Blakeney, (Lord) the extreme facility with which he acquired 
 
 a peerage, I. 120, 
 
 BIc«$ings, in the power of Factic^n t©^ make us repine at them^ 
 
 n. 122. 
 
 Blushing;^ 
 
C 341 ] 
 
 Blushing, a sign of sense, V. 131. 
 
 Bow, (Church) its clock bell unmuffled, I. 42. The number 
 it struck, an omen of division, ibid. 
 
 Bridge, (London) of what figurative in the Portico of Oppo- 
 sition, V, 78, 
 
 Britain, (Great) strangely influenced by news-papers, VI. 25. 
 
 Broughtons, hate the moment they are matched, IV. 84. 
 
 Bruisers, of what composed in Folly's desert. III. 80. 
 
 Buckingham, (Duke of) his character, adapted to the appre- 
 hension of Folly, V. 206. 
 
 Bute, (Earl of) a fool, and what kind of one, 11. 79. Why 
 he did not quit, II. 76. Why he did, 85. An anti- 
 dote to his humanity, 139. His future employment in the 
 political Elysium, V. 177. Posterity left at liberty by 
 Ambition to think of him as it must, IV. 89. 
 
 Byng, (Admiral) why put to death, I, 1 1^. 
 
 Cassar, not so culpable as who, V. 198. 
 
 Calais-passage, Folly wishes for one to the nether world, IV. 
 
 142. 
 Calumny, erroneously supposed to be near an end, II. 90. 
 Cambridge, (university of) its breach of allegiance to Folly, 
 
 IV. 65. Excellent use made by Folly of some speeches 
 
 pronounced there in her own praise, V. 2s. 
 Candle-stick, (brass) one stolen by the Earls of Halifax and 
 
 Egremont, III. 72. 
 Cassell, (city of) the great joy its loss occasioned in England, 
 
 I. 128. 
 Cato, (Addison's) parody upon lines in it, V. 150, 
 Catos, not admitted to the Elysium of perfect Patriots, V. 197. 
 
 and why, 199. 
 Charity, (fuper) of Faflion, IV. 22. 
 Charles (the first) impression he made upon liberty in compari- 
 
 fon with Cromwell, I. 134. 
 
 Aa 3 Charms 
 
[ 34^ ] 
 
 Charms (Incantations) their force wonderful, IV. 135. 
 
 C— — .d, (Earl of) faying of his recorded, V, 137, 
 
 Chronicle, a bird of the Crow fpecies, III, 40. 
 
 Chufe, (to) the greatest Crimea British King can commit, 1. 146. 
 
 Citizens, we^ms, fome of them hitherto not founded, II. 24. 
 
 Civil war, the happiest state of a nation, III. 138. 
 
 Civilities; when we are most exact in the payment of them, 
 II. 63. 
 
 Clamour, effects of it how painted in the Portico of Opposi- 
 tion, V. 81. 
 
 Clarendon, (Earl of) where he resides in the political Elysium, 
 V. 201. Was no favourite of the city in his life-time, 213. 
 His banishment preferable to what, ^3^. 
 
 Clement, (Jaques) the monk, who stabbed Henry III. the in- 
 ventor of the best attitude fordoing it, IT. 152. 
 
 Clerk, (under) the soil he thrives best in, IV. 174,- 
 
 Coach, (a) and six, with what view, put up to sale, I, 12a, 
 
 Comets, (of Ambition) terrors of their appearance, V. 66. 
 Their revolutions not compleatly calculated by Sir Isaac 
 Newton, 72. 
 
 Commerce, the sole Deity adored by Faction, 11. 9. Her 
 statue of what made, 11. What she has bigger than her 
 belly, 12. What she would hide under her robe, 13. 
 
 Concord, (Goddess of) extreme quickness of her ear, I. 73, 
 
 Contradictions, nothing when we change sides, III, 213, 
 What Jugler teaches to reconcile them, IV. 9. 
 
 Contrast, a bird of weak wing, III. 35. 
 
 Copernicus, (sonie) his State system, V. 53. 
 
 Cormorant, of what Deity the attribute, II, 16, 
 
 Councellors, good advice to be expected from a number of 
 them, 11. 187. 
 
 , (evil,) who imply'd by that name. III. 120. 
 
 Courtiers, of what made in a desert. III. 62. 
 
 Craftsman, proof from the tyrannical treatment he met withal, 
 
 that we had absolutely lost all liberty above thirty years 
 
 before we missed it, III, 217. 
 
 I Cramp, 
 
[ 343 ] 
 
 Gramp, Political, what occasions it, V. 8 r. 
 
 Crest, (Folly's) freshly painted in the Portico of Opposition, 
 
 V. 9^ 
 
 Criterion, between right and wrong, the Tweed the only, II. 
 129. 
 
 Crocodile, its great resemblance to public zeal in the manner 
 of hatching its eggs, and in the behaviour of their re- 
 spective broods, IV. 195. 
 
 Cromwell, (Oliver) a great Patriot, I. iso* What he might 
 have shewn us, 131. 
 
 Curiosity, superior in women to their fear of danger. IV. 143. 
 
 Cyder, what soured by, I. 77. Pride proposes to spill it, 
 
 II. 104. 
 
 D. 
 
 Decency, appeal to, VI. 129; The first civilizer of the hu- 
 man species, 130. 
 Deeds, (boisterous) their proper envelope, II. i^i. 
 Defeat, an occasion of joy, I. 127. 
 Deities, (self-exii'd from Heaven) how they divert themselves, 
 
 III. 113. 
 
 Description, (the minute of Poets,) ridiculed, V. from 51 to 
 
 100. 
 Desert, a political one at Folly's feast, III. 55. 
 Dettingen, the victory gained there by his late Majesty, never 
 
 heard of in the City till after bis death, III. 202. 
 Dictionary, (Parrots) of how many words composed, III. 2S. 
 Dinners, utility proposed from still more of them, II. io6« 
 Dirt, (the seeds of) how they vegetate into power, IV. 167. 
 Discord, (grains of it) what they sprout up to, when carefully 
 
 sown, IV. 60. 
 Divine, (unlearned) its flower, IV. 172. 
 Division, an omen of it, I. 4a. Brought about by the same 
 
 kands that tii^isted unanimity, IV. 51. 
 
 A a 4 Dogs 
 
[ 344 ] 
 
 Dogs, of Licence and Abuse, have no noses to their owg 
 
 stench, VI. sg. 
 Doors, to Faction's mansion-house, of what made, I. 63. 
 Dryd^ (John|,application of a thought of his, V, 20. 
 Dunquerque, a party-cry against the Earl of Clarendon, V, 
 
 203. 
 
 E. 
 
 Eagle, where it builds its airy, III. 13. 
 
 Ear, (vulgar) what most irritates it, I. 89. 
 
 Ease, subject to occasion a surfeit, II. lai. 
 
 Egremont, (Earl of) an accomplice of Lord Halifax in house* 
 
 breaking, III. 70. What they stole together, 72. 
 Eloquence, (without meaning,) the most cogent, I. 87.— 
 
 A jugier by trade, IV. 5. How depicted in the Portic© 
 
 of Opposition, V. 78. 
 Elysium, (political) described, V, 113. Thinly inhabited, 196. 
 Enceladus, Lord Halifax to be wished in the same situation, 
 
 n. 165. 
 
 Enemy, (Arch) to peace, what the Sun did in abhorrence 
 of her first dinner at Folly's house. III. ii« 
 
 Envelope, the proper, for insolence, II. 151. 
 
 Envy, her power over living virtue, V. 228i 
 
 Exchange, (political) by whom frequented, V. iiit 
 
 Excise, (general) formerly approved of by Folly, abhorred at 
 present, be it ever so equitable, III. 215. 
 
 Exeter, (City of) apple-blossoms there blighted by the thunder 
 of Faction's door, I. 78^ 
 
 Expeditions, what they hide, I. 124, 
 
 F. 
 
 Faction, his mansion-house, I. 80. Who stands centinel at 
 his gate, I. 54.— When excessive, they, who express no 
 dislike to it, may be understood as approvers of it, IV. 34. 
 
 Familiarisms, 
 
[ 345 ] 
 
 Familiarisms, and vulgarisms, II. is. V. 124. 146. 9.^6* 
 VI. 126. and elsewhere. 
 
 Fate, Folly appointed embassadress to him, IV. iii. — — 
 The throne of, VI. 6. An absolute Prince, 17. Givci 
 friendly advice to Folly, ia6. 
 
 Feast, the representation of one at a real one, III. 83. 
 
 Flattery, the finer and grosser sorts of, principal means of 
 political vegetation, IV. 161. 
 
 Flaying alive (of Negro Slaves) an acceptable sacrifice to Com- 
 merce, II. 19. 
 
 Fleets, why so many sent out, I. 123. 
 
 Folks, when we are civilest to them, II. 64. 
 
 Folly, her desert. III. 59. Her character, 142. Her speech 
 to the Divan, 181. Her library, what for, IV. laz. 
 Mistaken in her opinion of what is Thought, 123. Her 
 nonsense, once fate to many. 125. Her incantation, 
 127. Does not know her own ways, while she travels 
 thro* them, 160. A wonderful effort of her comprehend 
 sion, 217. The Euphorbus-ism of Pythagoras verified in 
 her, 22Z. Addresses her late Master's shade, V. I2I« 
 Meets the Ghost of Pelham, 133. Apprehensive, penalty 
 may be the due of sham patriots, 236. What she said to 
 Fate, not related, VI. 82. An annuity upon her life, 
 not quite so valuable as formerlyj 126. her behaviour to 
 George the second, III. 188, To the late Prince of 
 Wales, 192. 
 
 Fools, always lucky, V. 265. Not accountable for thcii' 
 actions, 272. 
 
 Forty-eight, its extreme vicinity to forty-five, II. 96. 
 
 Fountains, the unlucky trick they are apt to play those who 
 
 admire them too much, IV. 18. 
 Franklynj (Mr.) the Printer, often imprison'd unjustly by 
 - warrant, on account of the Craftsman, III. 218. 
 
 Funerals, 
 
[ 346 3 
 
 Funerals, of the very great, not quite so melancholy as they 
 appear to be, V. 153. 
 
 Garth, (Dr.) fine passage in his dispensatory, parodied, IV. 
 160, to 216. 
 
 Gates of hell, altered since Virgil's time, V, 277, 
 
 Gems, (of Party) whence they collect their exquisite lustre, 
 IV. 216. 
 
 George, (the second.) adored because dead. III. 199. Sub- 
 lime behaviour of his shade to Folly, V. 130. Folly's 
 insolence to him at the christening, III. 187. Why 
 deserted by his servants when the Pretender's son was at 
 Derby, I. 145. 
 
 George, (the third,) what he reckons a superior Title to that 
 of King, VI. 100. 
 
 Globe, (of the World,) what would engross it if it could, II, 
 
 13- 
 
 Gold, equal convertibility into it, of Whiggism and Toryism, 
 
 IV. sii. 
 Goose-down, strange effect anguish of mind has upon it, I. 18. 
 p:overnment, (the present) an excellent operator, not only in 
 
 drawing teeth but in supplying new ones for the vacancies, 
 
 I. 12. 
 Gracchi, (the) Founders of the Portico of Opposition, V. 31. 
 Granville, (Earl of) what he prefer'd to Power, V, 164. And 
 
 what again to that, 166. 
 Gratitude, in those who quitted along with Folly, what they 
 
 proposed from it. III. 208, 
 Ground, (the,) a great proof of its sense, IV. 136. 
 Grubs, (State-) and maggots, how hatched, IV. 181. Their 
 
 transformation, 187. 
 Guests, proposition to make them useful, If. 106. 
 
 Habeas 
 
L 347 ] 
 
 H. 
 
 Habeas Corpus, (the Bull-dog) fiercer for having been tycd 
 
 up, 1. 95. 
 Halifax, (Earl of) pity he was born in South Britain, II. 
 
 Hall, (^Egyptian) not at all Egyptian, II. 3. 
 
 Hampden, the two characters of him, as well as of Hercules 
 and all other men, according to the Homeric System, are 
 in heaven and hell at the same time, I. 135. 
 
 Head, (the first of the forest,) not secure from the dogs qf 
 Licence, VI. 64. 
 
 Heads to do business, of what made, IV". 204. 
 
 Height, the Owl-Eagle not deter'd by any, III. 17. 
 
 Hell, (the political) pains inflicted there, V, 255. new practice 
 to be introduced into its court of Common Pleas, 175. 
 
 Here, (and there) foolish repetition of those words ridiculed, 
 V. 77. to 9T. 
 
 Heros, of what materials Party makes them, I. 158, 
 
 Hill, (Dr.) miraculous operation of his essence of sage, IIL 
 166. 
 
 Hinges, of Faction's gates for want of what they scream, I. 68. 
 
 History, (the English) where half of it may be found. I. 148. 
 The gate of it, V. 227. 
 
 Honours, to what Pride originally owes them. II. 69. 
 
 Hounds, (blood-) those of party-Nemesis, excellent at trai- 
 ling, V. 14. 
 
 I. 
 
 Impudence, (a mix*d metal so called) of great importance, IV. 
 
 205. 
 Inadequate, (the word,) adored by Folly, III. 224. 
 Incendiaries, (all) sit for their portraits, to hang up in Fac« 
 
 tion*s saloon, I. 155. 
 Incubation, to the hatching of what eggs not necessary, IV. 
 
 19s. 
 
 Inculpability, 
 
[ 348 ] 
 
 Inculpability, to whose share it falls, V, s6a. 
 
 In, (and Out) refract Jight at different angles, III. 214. 
 
 Indulgence, strong resemblance of it to tyranny, II. 143. 
 
 Injury, (the infinite,) of a Government's dismissing those wh«i 
 oppose it, III. 125. 
 
 Insult, where it dwells, I. 8s. 
 
 Interest, its identity with Patriotism, VI. 178. 
 
 Ireland, its offer to Lord Halifax, II. 177. What his Lord- 
 ship liked better, 180. 
 
 Judges, (Infernal,) new practice when to be introduced* among 
 them, V. 173, 
 
 Justice, (made of sugar,) whom she wonderfully resembled, 
 III. 68. 
 
 K. 
 
 K -(* of) philosophical doubt relative to him, II. 30. 
 
 King, advis'd by Faction to act contrary to the advice of 
 
 Parliament, II. 149. 
 Kings, modern Poets apt to make too free with them, and 
 
 the Deity, V, 16. 
 
 L. 
 
 Lapland, (Umsean) its harvest in the present state of improvC- 
 ment to which it has been brought by the Sieur Martin 
 Erisvahn, its present Governour, described. III. 171. 
 
 Laud, (Archbishop,) why beheaded, I. 114. 
 
 Law-suits, something to be got by them, II. 105. 
 
 Levitation, (the laws of) observable in the strata of Folly's 
 ways, IV. 177. 
 
 Liberty, (Billingsgate-) painted in the Portico of Opposition, 
 V. 83. 
 
 . (Property and no Excise,) the cry of it where to be heard, 
 
 I. 9s. 
 
 Licence, very tall of her years. I. 83. 
 
 Licentiousness, its doctrines enforced by whom, and how, L 
 
 London 
 
t 349 ] 
 
 London Bridge mighty like Eloquence, V. 77. 
 
 Lords, by whom look'd upon as inferior to Aldermen, IV. 
 
 Love; (that of one's Master,) to what it makes one liable, IL 
 
 Loyalty, extraordinary progression of it, in toasting of healths, 
 
 111,91. 
 Line (ami ten sltyw ivords oft creep, in me dull) I. 39. lOO. I2I# 
 
 131. l6f. II. 15. 4s. 58. 64, 67. 98. 102. 103. 114. \<^%m 
 176. 181. 190. III. 36. 56. 194. IV. 7.40. 80. 108. 122. 
 
 129. 133. 152. 155. 167. 182. V, 16. 36. 84. VI. 54. 143, 
 
 156. 
 
 Lutestring, (the shades in a strip'd one,) the same thing with 
 the Surry toasts, III. 100. 
 
 ' M. 
 
 Magna Charta, a dreadful roarer, I. 93. Its pitiful situation 
 in Folly's desert, III. 78. 
 
 Magpye, (Gazetteer) description of that bird, II. 38. 
 
 Main, (the,) what it wondered at, II. 124. What it still 
 more wondered at, 125. 
 
 Man, the best way to overwhelm one, II. 164. 
 
 Manners, survive the grave, V. 148. 
 
 Mansfield, (Lord,) his candour of no merit because a Scots- 
 man, II. 140. 
 
 Mansion-house, (of Faction) by what reared, I. 52, 
 
 Marksman, Faction apprehensive of a good one, II. 157. 
 
 Master, (Folly's late) copies the behaviour of Ajax, V. 130: 
 
 Meanness, (the metal,) what gives it a silver surface, IV. 209. 
 
 Measures, (Continental,) seen ruinous by eves that afterward 
 saw them in a very different light, III. 2. 
 
 Men, (and guineas,) by whom, upon what, thought pity to 
 be wasted. III. 4. 
 
 Menace, (and revenge,) consequences of toafting party healths, 
 ill. X07. 
 
 Militia, 
 
•[ 350 ] 
 
 Militia, how to be made useful, III. 121. 
 
 Milton, the opening of his IVth book applied, III. i. Lines 
 borrowed from him, II. 67. III. 181. IV. 8. V. 56* zyZc 
 
 Minister, a sweet one, of what made, III. 60. 
 
 Minos, when he will be apprehensive of a rod of iron, V* 175. 
 
 Misrule, where to be found, I. 8a, 
 
 Mob, its collection of Pictures, I. 105. Its excessive decen- 
 cy upon a certain occasion, and why. III, 81. — In the 
 power of Faction to lead, II. 119. Very short-sighted, 
 III. 132. 
 
 Mobs, fallible as to measures, VI. 176. 
 
 Mob-Jove, objects of it, L 106. 
 
 Mock-heroic, by what accident Folly occasioned the present, 
 VI. 77. 
 
 Monarch, who prefers another title to it, VI. 99. 
 
 Monitor, (a bird that never quits the ground) when, upon 
 whom, by which Jupiter formerly employed, as a Vultur, 
 III. 29. 
 
 Monsters, (including modern Patriots,) where depictured. V<, 
 87. 
 
 Moriae Encomion, not that written by Erasmus, V. 22, 
 
 Morning, (political) begins at noon, III. 8, 
 
 Mourners, (Gentlemen-) by whom represented at grand Fu- 
 nerals, V. 154. 
 
 Mystery-of-State, its domain, IV. 140. The light of that 
 region, no means of vision, to any but the natives, IV> 
 156. 
 
 N* 
 
 Necessity, her employment under Fate, VI. ^ti 
 
 Negrds, in what manner their Creolian masters express to therti 
 the patriotic sentiments of Liberty, with which they s© 
 excessively abound, II. 19* 
 
 Nemesis, (Party-) where she resides, and her office, V. 2. 
 Her quick sight, and remarkable patience, 3. Depre- 
 cation to her, I. Famous for her breed of dogs, V. 14. 
 
 Neptune, 
 
[ 5S^ ] 
 
 Neptune, not half so vindictive as formerly, — and whjr, IL 
 
 43- 
 Nero, (the Roman Emperor,) as like Antonine as he can 
 
 frown, II. 146. 
 Nestor, a resemblance to him, that does him a great deal of 
 
 honour. III, 145. 
 Niches, their inexcusable forgetfulness of those who leave 
 
 them, II. 88. 
 Night, the close of a political one, described, I. i. 
 Noon, the break of day, III. 8. 
 North-Briton, (a Bird of prey) not dazzled with any height, 
 
 III. 17. Soars up to Olympus, though not meant here, 
 
 as verified after, 18. 
 
 O. 
 
 Oak-boy, (English) ingenious invention of his in order to 
 makt himself roar louder, IV. 76. Longs to fight his 
 friends from an aversion to idleness, IV. 80. 
 
 Obloquy, (the Snake) who instructs it at what to hiss, II, 
 134. 
 
 Obloquy, (the banker) whom the present Age draws upon for 
 the discharge of debts of honour, V. 50, 
 
 Oil, the want of it, the reason why the hinges of Faction's 
 doors scream so violently, I. 68. 
 
 Oppressions, in a perfectly free State, ought to be felt before 
 they exist, II. 124. 
 
 Owl, (Athenian) how treated every where else, II» 137. 
 
 Orders, (of architecture) all employed in the Portico of Op- 
 position, V. 28. 
 
 P. 
 
 Pains, of the political hell, hinted at, V. 249. 
 
 Painting, (and sculpture) their studies in Faction's hall, I, 
 
 105. 
 Parrot, the dictionary of one, III. 28. 
 
 ?arty, 
 
I 3S^ J 
 
 Party, who she canonizes, I. 155. A better invention of her? 
 for swimming than the cork-jacket, V. 82. Her super- 
 abundant charity^ IV. ai. Looks two ways at once, 
 IV. 24. Both sides of Party equally foolish, 22. — 
 To what heads and hearts she dispenses sense and worth, 
 III. 162. 
 
 Passion, strange effect of it, III. 23. 
 
 Patriot tyrant, who reigned one, I. 129. 
 
 Pepper, a sacred use of it, II. 21. 
 
 Patriots, how blazon'd by Heralds, V. SS. — Perfect whither 
 their souls go, V. 194. 
 
 Peace, apt to make one sick. II. 122. 
 
 Peacock, ignorant of the state his rump is in, V. 94. Fond 
 of his own voice, 95. 
 
 Pedimenr, what the emblematic sculpture on that of Faction's 
 mansion-hou^e implies, I. 50. 
 
 Pelham, (Mr.) his ghost meets Folly, V. 133. 
 
 Pens, could formerly bring authors into scrapes, 1. i56» 
 
 Pepper, a sacred use of it, II, 21, 
 
 Pertness, by what it succeeded with Folly, IV. 207. 
 
 Petition of the City, justified by Faction, II, 149. 
 
 Phineas, (any) the People not obliged to them for stopping 
 the plague, II. 81. 
 
 Picture, of Court gratitude, I. 14b. 
 
 , (no) of the Earl of Clarendon in Guild-hall, V. 212. 
 
 Pinion, (a Blackbird's,) dirty. III. 25. 
 
 Plate, (of gold) necessary preliminary to its appearance at 
 Folly's table. III. 56. 
 
 Planets, (of Party) all Saturns, V. 63. 
 
 Plead, (when we) the properest time for libelling, II. 152. 
 
 Plumage, (Party coloured) what Bird moults its proper feathers 
 for it. III. 21. 
 
 Politics, the profound darkness they shed, V. i2. 
 
 Pope, (Alexander) fine conclusion of his Essay on Man pa* 
 rodied, VI, 173. 
 
 i Popularity, 
 
[ 353 1 
 
 Popularity, what she does to the doors of Faction's mansion- 
 house, I. 64. 
 Portico, (of Opposition,) by whom founded, V. 31. By 
 whom compleated, 35. Is the passage to the temple of 
 Honour, V. 38. 
 Posterity, how she will pay the debts of the present age to Sir 
 
 JefFery Amhurst, V. 41. 
 Power, (Regal) its great temperature in this climate, V. 57. 
 Prayer, (unwilling) to Heaven, at St. Paul's, I. 40. 
 Praise, the utmost share of it that can fall to a British King, 
 
 V. 127. 
 Press, (the) and pulpits, very useful to incendiaries, I. 153, 
 Pride, (disappointed) passes a restless night, I. 8. Her dress, 
 20. Her visit to Faction, 32. Where she discovers her 
 own picture, 159. Her reflection thereupon, 161, At- 
 tempts to speak, by whom overruled, III. jo. 
 P'rince of Wales (late) Folly's insolence in disputing with him 
 the Chancellorship of Cambridge, and her ill luck in 
 carrying the point against him. III. 193. 
 Principles, for what changed, I. 162. 
 Prometheus, his penalty, very unluckily for Lord Hollandj 
 
 revived. III. 31. 
 Promises, the proper materials of which to make them, III. 
 
 61. 
 Property, (Liberty, and no Excise,) v.^here the cry of them to 
 
 be heard, I. 92. 
 Public-spirit, emblematically painted in the Portico of Oppo- 
 sition, V. 79. 
 Pulteney, (the) of the day, whoever he is^ always credited, 
 III. 134* 
 
 Quantity, its resemblance to Great, V. 30. 
 Quiet, (public) who was fool enough to let it influence his 
 actions. IL 85. 
 
 B b Quittingj 
 
[ 354 ] 
 
 Quitting, (of power) the only justifiable reason for it, II, 86, 
 
 R. 
 
 Ranelagh, by what blessed, III. 96. 
 
 Reason, not at all requisite to the government of States, III. 
 
 147- 
 Rebellion, (time of) convenient for Ministers of State to throw 
 
 up their Posts, I. 140. 
 Reproach, where to be found, I. 84. 
 
 Rein, (of power) why quitted by Pride, and others, II. 36. 
 Resignation, may be carried too far, I. 10. 
 Resistance, before injury, by whom taught, II. 124. 
 Rest, the proper time of going to, II. 190; 
 Retire, (the word) Folly's abhorrence of it, III. 184. 
 Riot, where it inhabits, I, 8s. 
 Riot, and clamour, of no consideration, in regard to a quiet 
 
 conscience, II. 77. 
 River, (the Tweed,) sole distinguisher of right and wrong, 
 
 II. 129. 
 
 Robinson, the Confectioner, his consummate performance, 
 
 III. S7. 
 
 Rochfort, (Wars of,) fatal to our People, I. 126. 
 
 Sage, (essence of) effects from it scarce to be credited, III. 
 
 166. 
 Sarah, (old) a lady who disposed by will of twice ten thousand 
 
 pounds, as a reward for past, and encouragement of 
 
 future, Opposition; her legacy where honourably hung 
 
 up, I. 150. 
 Satire, (the scavenger) effects of her over cleanliness, V. 85. 
 Saul, (King) enters the Opposition to Heaven, I. 33. 
 Scandal, (the gold-finder) who he emptyed his tub upon, I. 5. 
 
 • Scare- 
 
[ 355 3 
 
 Scare-Court, (Mawkins) with what stuffed, V. 213. 
 
 Scots, all the attempts of Patriots to disunion them over*ruIed 
 by Fate, VI. 65. 
 
 Scoundrels, the Heaven of Pairty crowded with them in the: 
 shape of Saints, I. 158. 
 
 Second-causes, deposed by Fate, VI. 37. 
 
 Seriousj a different disposition from thoughtful, V. 18. 
 
 Servants, very numerous, where they receive no wagfcs, III. 54, 
 
 Shaftsbury, (Earl of) summary account of his character adapted 
 to Folly's apprehension, V. 205. 
 
 Side, (the farther) of the Tweed, why it ought to be the object 
 of every abuse, 11, 132. 
 
 Similies, the jarring of Faction's doors, to the onset of battle in 
 civil war, I. 69. The flaying and seasoning of negros 
 alive, to the dressing of turtle, II. 23. The Surry toasts, 
 to the insensible change of colour in a striped lute^tring 
 gown. III. 98. The effect of essence of Sage, upon 
 FcJly's brainj to the faint attempts towards vegetation in a 
 Lapland -summer, III. 171. Eloquence, {the abuse of it) 
 to the old low taste in garden fountains, IV. 11. Folly- 
 occasioning this poenii to a witch's tumbling over a cross 
 of straw, Vi. 76. A Satirist to a dirty dog shaking him- 
 self, VI. 159. The confluence of all kinds of disgust^ 
 in^to Faction, to all the kennels meeting in the Thames, 
 II. Its. 
 
 Sixpence, its operation, in counterbalance to political virtue^ 
 V. 161. ' 
 
 Sleep (want of) into what it converts Goose-down, I. i8. 
 
 Snails, of Office, wherein they differ from common slugs^ 
 IV. 185. 
 
 Sorrows, imparted by Pride to Faction, II. 71. 
 
 Sounds distinct from sense, a proper use of themi, the great 
 means of preferment, I. 99, 100. 
 
 Speeches, of Pride to Faction, II. 67. Of Faction to Pride, 
 
 119^ Of Folly to the Divan, III. 181. Of one at the 
 
 B b 2 lower 
 
[ 3^6 ] 
 
 lower end of the Table, IV. in. Of Folly to the shacJc 
 
 of the late King, V^ 121. Of the shade of the late King 
 
 to Folly, V. 136. Of Pelham, to Folly, V. 134. Of 
 
 Folly to Pelham, 139. Reply of Pelham to Folly, 148. 
 
 Reply of Folly to Pelham, 187. Re-reply of Pelham to 
 
 Folly, V. 189. Last speech of Folly to Pelham, 235. 
 
 Last speech of Pelham to Folly, 248. Of Fate to Folly, 
 
 VL 83. 
 Star, the planet Saturn, envies all those that are nearer the sun 
 
 than itfelf, V. 64. 
 State, (magnificence,) that of May'r-royalty surprising, L 103. 
 *— • (Astronomers,) their System, V. 54. 
 Statesmen, all new ones, Usurpers, I. 13. The change of 
 
 them very indifferent to Fate, VL 45. 
 St. George overcome by the Dragon, the Picture of, where, 
 
 V. 89. 
 St. Cas, the wars of it very desperate, L 126. 
 Strafford, (the great Earl of) what he said while going to the 
 
 scaffold, applied to others as well as himself, L 113. 
 Styx, by no means so binding an oath to Deities as formerly, 
 
 IIL 3. 
 Sun, its melancholy behaviour, when Ambition first dined 
 
 with Folly, IIL 11. 
 Swan, except where he shews, one of the dirtiest creatures 
 
 living, V. Ho. 
 Swim, (the word) made free with, V. 8z, 
 
 T. 
 
 Teeth, philosophical doubt about certain, IL 30. 
 
 Thoughts, (melancholy) strange effect they have upon feather- 
 beds, I. 17. 
 
 Toasts, not died in grain, III. 94. 
 
 Toasting, a great occasion of quarrels, IIL 105, Except at 
 Folly*stable, i©9. Why not there, no. 
 
 Tower, 
 
[ 357 ] 
 
 ^ower, of London, made of biscuit, in Folly's desert, III. 73. 
 Tliracian, Party-healths, according to Horace, invented by 
 
 that people, III. 103. 
 Throats, mutual cutting of, very beneficial to a State, III. 136. 
 Throne, the lye given to it, II. 94. 
 
 Treason, who lends it out at interest, and to whom, II. 148. 
 Trees, (apple) bear better fruit when cut down, than when 
 
 growing, II. 104. 
 Tribunes, (Ephori, and Demagogues,) the Gods call them by 
 
 their true name, I. 108. Upon what terms they would 
 
 overturn a State, 109, 
 Truncheon, (State) not easily recoverable, when once quitted, 
 
 II. 89. 
 Truth, a yeast to be avoided by political brewers, II. 98. 
 Turtle, to its cost, extreme tenacious of life, II. 30. What no 
 
 quantity of it can fill, 24. 
 Tuscan, the gate of History composed of that order, V. 279. 
 Tyrant, (Patriot) who reigned one, I. 133. 
 
 V. 
 
 Valet?, an improvement upon Miller, in the raising them, 
 
 IV. ,75. _ 
 Vernon, (Admiral) took the Ministry with six ships only, 1. 1 17. 
 Victims, (what are so, besides government,) to Commerce, 
 
 II. 17. 
 
 Villains, beatified by Party, I. 158. . 
 
 Vinegar, religious use of it, II, 22. 
 
 Vipers, (of Administration.) how they treat their poor mother, 
 
 IV. 194. 
 Virtues, (Royal) take their standard from Faction's roipt, 
 
 II. 141. 
 
 U. 
 
 Unanimity, of People out of Place, very exemplary, III, 1 10, 
 
 B b 3 Wages, 
 
[ 358 ] 
 w. 
 
 Waggs, dreadful apparition of them to Folly's servants, ill. 54, 
 Waipole (Sir Robert) how employed in the political Hell, 
 
 V. i59- 
 W — ^ — e, (Earl of) a saying of his recorded, III. 150. 
 War, commerce an inexhaustible source of, VI. 55. By what 
 
 steps brought to its present perfection, 51. 
 Whistling, a divertej- of fear, V 20. 
 
 Wit, the metar not to be found in Folly's mineralogy, IV. 213, 
 Worms, (Caterpillars,) their transmutation, IV. 187. 
 
 X. 
 Xerxes, and Xenqphon, not mentioned in this foem* 
 
 Y. 
 Vear, the effects of the British Sun upon it, V. 6q, 
 
 Zeal, (publip) its rpethod of hatching eggs, ly. 19^, 
 
[ 359 3 
 
 THE 
 
 BATTLE OF THE WIGS. 
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC PpEM. 
 
 IN THREE PARTS. -:. 
 
 Dahiturque Li CENT I A suMjita Jiuck?ilet;—1i{oK, 
 
 Written \\\ the Year 1768. 
 
C 361 ] 
 
 TO THE READER. 
 
 Though the Writer of the following little Piece has 
 x:hofen to call it An additional Canto to Dr. Garth'j Poem 
 of the Dispensary, he by no means pretends to aspire to 
 an imitation of that Work, much lefs would he presume to 
 affect a rivalship with the ingenious Author. The subject 
 being in fome meafure similar, he was induced to make ufe 
 of this title. 
 
 The Disputes, at present subsisting between the Fellows 
 and Licentiates of the College oj Physicians, concerning 
 their respective Rights, seemed to be no improper topick 
 for an innocent laugh. Nothing that should in the least 
 offend any individual, is intended by it. No character is 
 designed to be personally pointed out. As to the common 
 sarcafm, ' The killing of numbers of patients,' fays Dr. 
 Carth, * is fo trite a piece of raillery, that it ought not to 
 * make any impression.' 
 
 It is difficult, and perhaps In fome degree presumptuous, 
 to attempt following, in a confined walk, the steps of any 
 author of eminence. If some expressions or sentiments in 
 this piece should be found to be the fame with, or fomewhat 
 similar to any in Dr. Garth's Poem, the writer begs he may 
 not lay under the imputation of plagiarism. One or two 
 instances, which he has discovered, of a similarity, he has 
 carefully pointed out. 
 
 . One 
 
[ 362 3 
 
 One part of the Machinery is founded upon fact. A 
 Blacksmith was employed to break open the College gate, 
 in order to try the Rights of the Licentiates. The circum- 
 stances of the Butchers and the Engine charged with Blood 
 were jocular reports at that Time. 
 
 The writer begs leave to enter a caveat against the 
 Critics finding fault with his rhymes not exactly chiming 
 in some few places. He cannot, with submission, but be 
 of opinion, that the senfe should not be totally sacrificed to 
 the sound: besides he can shelter himself under the au- 
 thority and example of our best authors. He might alfo 
 plead in favour of some alliterations, in which he has in* 
 dulged himfeif, if he was not satisfied, that the use of 
 them is generally allowed in the Mock-Heroic, however 
 sparingly they ought to be introduced in more fefious 
 compositions? 
 
[ 363 3 
 
 THE 
 
 BATTLE OF THE WIGS. 
 
 A MOCK-HEROIC POEM, 
 
 PARTI, 
 
 X URN, Muse, once more to Warwick's dismal lane, 
 Where feuds unheard of, and new uproars reign, 
 Whtve fellows with Licentiates hold debate; 
 These, (to preserve their dignity of state) 
 Admit no partners in their Councijs grave, 5 
 
 Who titles only from Diplomas have ^ 
 An equal rank the others boldly claim, 
 Alike their fortunes^ and alike their fame : 
 
 Eacl^ 
 
 y« I, The College pf physicians is erected in Warivkk-Lane, 
 
r 364 ] 
 
 Each -^^sculaplan breast fell Discord warms, 
 
 And for awhile the Gown gives place to Arms. 10 
 
 Say, Death, what prompted thee to spread debate 
 Among thy sons, the arbiters of Fate ? 
 Thy great upholders, whose unsparing pen 
 Crowds Pluto's realm, and thins the race of men ? 
 
 *Twas on the day, held sacred to St, Luke, 15 
 
 Rever'd by sages skill'd in purge or puke. 
 
 When in mute state the grave assembly meet. 
 
 To hear profound oration, — and to eat: 
 
 Licentiato held it for a sin 
 
 To fast without, while others feast within 3 20 
 
 Hungry and dry, he mourn'd his hapless fate, 
 
 With Socio not allow'd to soil a plate j 
 
 Forbid 
 
 V. 10. And for anxjJiile the gown gives /ilace to arms, 
 
 Cedunt Arma Toga, is a well-known expression. In the 
 Universities the doctors of physic are invested with a scarlet 
 gown; and it may be a question with some perhaps, whether 
 that or the scarlet coat haj been productive of most destruction 
 among mankind^ 
 
 V. 18. To hear /irofound oratiott'-^ 
 
 On St. Luke's Day there is a Latin speech pronounced by a 
 Fallow in the College of Physicians, called (from Doctor Har- 
 vey, the original institutor) Oratio Harveiana, 
 
[ 365 ] 
 
 Forbid to cheer his heart, and warm his throttle, 
 With Haustus repetendus of the bottle. 
 
 Madd'ning at length with grief, and fir'd with rage, 25 
 Which nothing but admittaace could assuage, 
 '* Open your gates, he cries, and let us enter, 
 " Or else to force them open we'll adventure.** 
 
 Socio^ elated with his high degree 
 Of A. B. A. M. M. B. and M. D, 30 
 
 Bids him without, and at a distance wait, 
 Nor deigns he to unfold the sacred ga:e. 
 
 '^ Shall 
 
 V. 24. With Haustus repetCxidus of the holde. 
 The medical gentry, however they may recommend absti- 
 nence to others, are many of them no enemies to the bottle, if 
 taken in moderation^ as they term it. A certain witty Physician 
 was advising a friend of his, who had been used to be too free 
 with his bottle, to take a chearful pint with his meah, and no 
 more: * But says he, the whole secret consists in knowing how 
 * much your pint should hold, I myself take my pint constantly 
 ' aft^r dinner and supper; but mine is a Scot^ pint,' — that ii, 
 two quarts, 
 
 V. 29. Socio, dated njoith his high degree 
 Of A. B. A. M. M. B. and M. D. 
 
 A. B. Artlutn Baccalaureusj Batchelor of Arts ; A.M. Artiam 
 Magister^ Master of Arts; M. B. Medicitiie Baccalaureus^ Ba- 
 chelor of Physic ; M. D. Medicines Doctor^ Doctor of Physic. 
 
r 366 1 
 
 •' Shall Scots, he cries, or Leyden doctors dare 
 " With sapient Regulars to claim a chair ? 
 ** How can Diplomatists have equal knowledge? 3^ 
 *' No, no — they must not mess with Graduates of a 
 College." 
 
 He said, when strait Licentiato tries 
 By force to gain what stubborn pride denies. 
 And now the pond'rous pestle beats to Arms, 
 And the huge mortar rings with loud alarms ; 40 
 On barber's pole a peruke they display 
 With triple tail, a signal for the fray. 
 
 O could the modest muse but dare aspire 
 To emulate one spark of Homer's fire, 
 
 The 
 
 V. 39. And noiu the pottd\ous Jtestle heats to armsy 
 4nd the huge mortar rings ix^ith loud alarms* 
 
 While lifted pestles brandish'd in the air 
 
 Descend in peals, and civil wars declare. — Garth. 
 
 V. 43- could the modest muse hut dare asfiire 
 To emulate one s/iark ofHomer^s^rey 
 The list of large-'wig'd warriors she might chaunt. 
 
 In the fourth book of Homer^s Iliad is a list of the forces 
 employed against Troy. 
 
1 he list of large-wigg'd warriors she might chaunt, 45 
 From clumsy Tunbelly to John o' Gaunt. 
 
 Nor yet unmindful to defend the doors 
 Are Socio* s bands, and force repel with force. 
 
 Within the gates close-bolted, lock'd, and barred. 
 Of neighboring butchers stands an awful guard j 50 
 Each with an azure apron strung before. 
 And snow-white sleeves, as yet unstain'd with gore; 
 The foe the whettlng-iron hears dismay'd. 
 Grating harsh music from the sharpening blade. 
 
 From Newgate-Market came the bloody bands, 55 
 With marrow-bones and cleavers in their hands, 
 Fram'd to split skulls, and deal destructive knocks, 
 Xi^^fel] a doctor, or to fell an ox; 
 
 F 
 
 it 
 
 V. 46. From Clumsy Tunbelly to John o'Gaunt. 
 Clumsy Tunbelly, Doctoi 
 John o'Gaunt, Doctor— 
 
 V. 55. From Newgate Market firOT<? th bloody hands. 
 Newgate Market is contiguous to Warwick Lane. The But- 
 chers are therefore called (in V. 50.) neighb'ring Butchers. 
 
[ 368 ] 
 
 Fit instruments to quash a foe, then ring' 
 
 A peal of triumph, — Ding dong, ding dong, ding.6c^ 
 
 No wonder butqhers should physicians aid ; 
 The same their practice, nor unlike their trade : 
 And what alliance more exactly suits ? 
 Man-killers leagu'd with those who slaughter brutes. 
 
 Nor yet on these alone the Dons rely, 65 
 
 But they prepare a mask*d artillery. 
 A water-engine, charged with beastly gore. 
 Stands ready on the foe its filth to pour. 
 
 And 
 
 V. ^9. Fit instruments to quajh afoe^ then ring 
 
 A peal of triumph^ ding dong, ding dong, ding. 
 
 In the Ode on St. Caecilia's day, adapted to the antient Bri- 
 tish music, is the following air. 
 
 Hark, how the banging marrow-bones 
 
 Make clanging cleavers ring. 
 With a ding dong, ding dong. 
 Ding dong, ding dong. 
 Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding. 
 Raise your uplifted arms on high, 
 
 In lonff-prolonged tones, 
 Let cleavers found 
 A merry merry round. 
 
 By banging marrow-bones^ 
 
i 3^9 ] 
 
 And what than this can cast a greater dread. 
 Designed to change the sable coat to red ? ' 7© 
 
 'To save their cloaths e'en surgeons step aside. 
 When from the puncture spouts the crimsqn tide. 
 
 Thou too, dread ofiicer, of sov'reign pow^r. 
 Thou tyrant- monarch of the midnight hour^ 
 (If haply, when thoutread'st thy watchful round,75 
 Some kind-inviting vagrant Nymph be found j) 
 High Constable, wast there; thy magic staffs 
 "With royal standard down emblazon'd half; 
 Ensign of might, to make wild uproar cease. 
 And bid tumultuous Riot be at peace, 80 
 
 KND OF PART I 
 
 Cc 
 
t 370 ] 
 
 tHE 
 
 BATTLE OF THE WIGS, 
 
 PART II. 
 
 Wi T H o u T, th' enrag'd Licentiato waits. 
 Striving to force a passage through the gates ; 
 In vain he strives : then drooping with despaifj 
 To Venus, he addrest his humble pray'r. 
 
 " O goddess ! if thy vot'ries own my skill, 
 *' If they approve my lotion, or my pill; 
 " If Rock, or Flugger, boast a fairer name; 
 " If Drury, and the Garden, sound my fam^ ; 
 
 If 
 
 V. 7. ^Rock, nor Flugger hoait a fairer name* 
 Richard Rock, a very noted practitioner. We have not been 
 able to learn the import of thofe two significant letters, M. L. 
 which constantly accompany his name, 
 
 Flugger. Dr. Flugger, no less noted, but not of so long 
 
 standing. 
 
i S7i 1 
 *^ if many a mother, that would pass for maid, - 
 '* In secret calls for my obstetric aid; lo 
 
 " If, to prevent th' affected sneer of prude, 
 
 *' My juice of i? can the shame preclude; 
 
 ^ " If with my drops I rouse th'enervate rake, 
 *' And wives unfruitful happy mothers make ; 
 
 " Ohelp! 
 
 V. 8. -^'^Druty, /2»^ the Garden, sound my Fame, 
 i)rury Lane, of ancient renown. Covcnt Garden is emphati- 
 cally stiled The Gardenj as the principal singers in the Opera 
 are called The Guarducci, The Lovatini, &c, 
 
 V. 12. My juice cfS can the shame /irechd'e. 
 
 Doctor Mead, in his Essay on Poison, says, * I had once in 
 my possession, given me by an ingenious chemist, a clear 
 liquor, which though ponderous, was so volatile, that it would 
 all fly away in the open air, without being heated j and so 
 corrosivej that a glass stopple of the bottle, which containtd 
 it, was in a short time so eroded, that it could never be taken 
 out. The fume of it was so thin, that if a candle was set at 
 some distance from the bottle, upon a table, the heat would 
 direct its course that way; so that it might be poisonous to 
 any one that sat near to the light, and to no-body else. I 
 know (adds the Doctor) the composition of this Stygian spirit % 
 hut it is better that the fworld should mt be instructed in such arts 
 of death:* 
 
 For the same reason the author, as a lover of his King and 
 Country, and confequently a friend to population, chuses not 
 to print the word <S'--— * at full length, 
 
 C c a 
 
C 37^ 1 
 *^ O help! Let Mars's arms awhile be staid^ 15 
 ^[ And send your cuckold to my instant aid." 
 
 The goddess heafd, and, hast'ning to her spouse. 
 With protestations and repeated vows 
 Of strict fidelity in time to come, 
 " No more she'd wander, but would cleave to home," 
 Prevailed upon her fond and easy dear 
 On earth in form of Blacksmith to appear. 
 The tedious hours of absence to beguile, 
 'Tis said, with Mars she solac'd all the while. 
 
 To earth the God descending stood confest 25 
 By the black bristles of his beard and breast; 
 A leathern apron ty'd about his waist. 
 And on his head a woollen nightcap plac'd j 
 A massy hammer in his hand he held. 
 Which scarce two men of modern strength could welld, 
 
 With 
 
 V. 29. j4 fHajsy hammer in his hand he held. 
 
 Which scarce tnuo men of modern strength could weild. 
 
 A pondrous stone bold Hector heav'd to throw, 
 Pointed above, and rough and gross below; 
 Not two strong men th* enormous weight could raise, 
 Such men as live in these degenerate days. 
 
 Pope's Homer. B. XII, 
 
[ 373 3 
 With this advancing, at one pond'rous stroke. 
 Forthwith th' inhospitable bars he broke: 
 Then to next alehouse did his Godship steer. 
 To quaff the earthly Nectar of butt beer.. 
 
 Soon as he saw the gates wide open stand, 35 
 In rush'd Licentiaio with his band 5 
 Through constables, through butchers onward prest 
 T!o fuming chamber^ an unwelcome guest ; 
 
 Where 
 
 V. 33. Then to next alehouse did his Qodship. steer ^ 
 To quaff the earthly Nectar of butt beer. 
 In justice to the honest landlord that keeps the house, and 
 the worthy Alderman that serves it, we think ourselves obliged 
 to acquaint all true lovers of entire hutt^ that they will be sure 
 to meet with an excellent tankard of it at the Three Jolly Butchery 
 the corner of JVarwick-Court, 
 
 The author ingenuously acknowledges, that some of the best 
 lines (if any may l)e called so) in his Poem, are owing to the in- 
 spiration of this excellent liquor. 
 
 V. 38, To /timing chamber^ 
 
 Vulgarly called, smoahing room. 
 We cannot but take notice here of an infamous addition to 
 those admirable lines, in favour of this noble exotic plant; to 
 
 wit. 
 
 Tobacco hicky Tobacco hici^ 
 
 * Twill make you loell^ if you are sick. 
 
 An enemy to Tobacconists has reversed the sentiment, by 
 
 saying, 
 
 Tobacco hick, Tobacco hi(k, 
 
 Jfyou are 'we/l will make you sick, 
 Cej 
 
, [ 374 ] 
 
 Where from intrusion (as they thought) secure, 
 In lolling posture, and with look demure, 40 
 
 Immers'd in politics and sober chat. 
 The Dons serenely o'er their bottle sat ; 
 In *^ customary suits of solemn black,*' 
 Save that the peruke whitens dpwn the back. 
 Slow from their lips proceeds the puff'd perfume, 4| 
 And sleep-inviting vapours cloud the Room. 
 
 Licenttaio enters. With appall 
 Each was struck dumb, as mute at funeral.-— 
 So sat the Romans Curules, dully wise. 
 When Gauls rush'd in, and view'd them with 
 
 surprize, jo 
 
 Taking their awful forms for deities, ■ - 
 
 Choak'd 
 
 1 
 
 V. 43. ** In customary siiits of sdiemn hlach^"^* 
 
 Or customary suits of solemn black. Hamlet 
 
 V. 49. So sat the Romao Curules, dully ivise^ 
 
 Whn Gauls rush'din^ and me^''d them luith surjirize , 
 Taking their aivful forms for deities, 
 
 ®« When the crowd of superannuated patriots had, by 
 their advice and exhortations to the soldiers, done all that wa$ 
 in their power towards the defence of the capital [Rome], they 
 returned to their houses, there to wait, with steady refolution, 
 |he coming of the enemy, and death. Such of them as had trir 
 
 umjihed 
 
I 375 ] 
 Choak'd with the fume, Licentialo broke 
 
 The 
 
 um/tJiedioT victories, or had been Curule magistrates, that they 
 might die with the greater dignity, adorned themselves with 
 the insignia of those honours which they had acquired by their 
 virtue. Cloathed in their triumphal robes, or those of their 
 magistracies, they repaired to the Forum, and seating themselves 
 there in their Curule chairs, maintained the same respectable 
 air of greatness, as when in the fulness of their former power. 
 
 ** As the Gauls had met with little resistance from the Ro* 
 mans in the field, and were not put to the trouble of an assault 
 to take the city, they entered it, (at the gate Collina) without any 
 thing, in their appearance, of hostile anger, that raging flame, 
 kindled by opposition, difficulty, and danger. Moving on, they 
 beheld, with amazement, the streets unpeopled as a desert; and 
 when they came to the Forum^ and cast their eyes all around, they 
 could observe no shew of war but in the citadel alone. What 
 chiefly drew and fixed their attention, was the company of vene- 
 rable victims, who had devoted themselves to death. Their mag* 
 mjiccnt jiurjile rohes^ their Long ivhite beards^ their air of greatness^ their 
 silence^ stilness^ and serenity^ all these astonished the Gauls^ held them 
 at an awful distance ^ and ifishired them fwith the same res/tect lohick 
 they would have had for so many gods,. It chanced, however, that 
 one of the soldiers (who was, probably, less apt to be religiously 
 aff'ectcd than his comrades) took the freedom gently to put his 
 hand towards the beard of Manlius Pafiirius, as if he meant to 
 stroke it; a familiarity which so much offended the majestic 
 figure^ that with a smart blow of his ivory truncheon^ he broke 
 the fellow's head. There needed no more to put an end to all 
 reverence for such a choleric deity. The Gauls instantly killed 
 ■Fff/iirius', and, as if he had given the signal for a general mas- 
 
 C c 4 $acre. 
 
[ 37^ ] 
 
 The solemn silence, and thus, coughing, spoke ? 
 " Give us, {hem^ hem,) one drop to clear our lungs, 
 **^ (^Herriy heniy) one little drop to cpol our tongues.'*55 
 *' Nq; not a single drop,'* stern Socio roar'd. 
 And up he snatch'd the bottle from the board. 
 ^^ How dares Licentic^to force our gate?'' 
 He said, and hurl'd the bottle at his pate. 
 The glass, less hard, quick from his front rebounds, 
 Scarce leaving on the skin some superficial wounds. 
 
 Thrice happy thou, whose tender brain's immur 'd 
 In thickest case, by leaden skull seciir'd ! 
 Drug- venders else had rued th' adventure cross. 
 And callous undertakers moprn'd thy loss. 6^ 
 
 Yet 
 
 him,) in state, in 
 
 gacre, all the rest were now slain, sitting, like 
 tfhir Curule chairs*^ 
 
 Hooke's Rom. Mist, Book s. Chap. 38. 
 
 Let the reader figure to himself the ^/<?f/or/,— their magnificent 
 full-trim'' d black, — their long white Jterukes, — their air of greatness^ 
 ^— their silence^ stilness^ and serenity, — ihtiv gold-headed canes, (no 
 less respectable thaji the ivory truncheon) — xht'ir sitting instate^ 
 in their elbow chairs ; — Let the reader, I say, figure to himself 
 these majestic figures, and we are confident, he must be struck 
 with awe and admiration. 
 
C 377 ] 
 
 Ye t with the shock Licentiato lies 
 Stunn'dj-^from the floor unable to arise i 
 And, as when cupping-utensirs applied. 
 The trickling streams from narrow sluices glide. 
 So down his face slow flows a purple floocj : yo 
 
 The Muse affirms not, whether wine or blood. 
 
 V. (i^* Yft luttJi the shock Licentiate lies 
 
 Stunn'dj-^-^/row the fioor unable to arise. 
 
 The sound is here designedly made to epho to the sense. 
 So Virgil, 
 — — — procumbithumi bos. 
 
 Many instances may be brought, not only from the Greek and 
 Latin Poets, of similar attention, but also from our own. Let 
 one fuffice. 
 
 Shakespeare, in his King Lear, has the following line, 
 
 *' Many a fathom down precipitating," 
 the precipitation of which Tate has chofen to stop (in his alte- 
 ration of this Play) by substituting 
 
 ** Many a fathom tumbling down," 
 P what a tumbling doWn is here! 
 
 END PF PART II. 
 
i 378 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 BATTLE OF THE WIGS, 
 
 PART III- 
 
 And now a general tumult reigns thro' ally 
 " To arms, to arms,*' on ev'ry side they bawl : 
 Each grave Bashaw, that bears three deathful taiis^ 
 Rous*d from his torpor joins in fierce assails ^ 
 Foregoes his wonted solemness of mein, 5 
 
 While wig meets wig, and cane encounters cane. 
 The ruiHed hairs on fretful perukes rise, 
 l^ike quills on hedge-hog, when he roll'd up lies; 
 Their knots on either side the tyes unfold. 
 And pendent midmost stands erectly bold, 10 
 
 So 
 
 V. 7. T^e ruffied hairs on freffu^ pe^ntles rzsr. 
 
 Like quills on hedge- hog, when he roWd up. lies; 
 
 Make thy young hairs to stand on end, 
 
 lILike quills upon the fretful porcupine, 
 
 Hamlet, 
 
C 379 ] 
 
 -So when Medusa's head bore snakes for hair, 
 (Curl'd like the Tetes our dames of fashion wear,) 
 Their folds untwisting, with amaze and dread 
 They struck the foe, and instant star'd him dead. 
 
 The cane, for sapience. rcver'd of old, ij 
 
 (With head of amber, or with head of gold,) 
 Sage nurse of thought, that gently kissM the nose. 
 On the crack'd cranium deals descending blows. 
 The short snug sword, of measure larks to spit. 
 With modest hilt just peeping thro' the slit, 2Q 
 From peaceful scabbard starts a warring blade, 
 ^' Sy a mere bodkin the quietus made." 
 
 So when a taylor on the shopboard sits. 
 
 Of galligaskins to repair the slit^,' 
 
 -Tormente4 
 
 V. 12. CurVd Uh th tetes our dames of fashion ivear. 
 These preposterous oenaments of false hair, twisted and 
 twirled into a thousand unnatural shapes, may indeed be very 
 properly called Medusa Tetes^ though it must be confessed they 
 are (in the language of enamoratas) not quite so killing. For 
 the story of Medusa, see the end of the Latin Didionaryj, 
 under the letter M. 
 
 Y, 21.^ By a mere bodkin^ tie quietus made^ 
 
 ^< Whenhe himself might his quietus niake 
 With a bare bodkin.'* Hamlet, 
 
[ 3So 3 
 
 Tormented by the foe, he vengeance vows, 25 
 
 And with his spear, a needle, pricks a louse. 
 
 And now a general tumult reigns thro' all, 
 ** To arms, to arms," onev'ry side they bawl. 
 So loud the din, so terrible the roar. 
 It pierc'd to earth to Lethe's farther shore ; 30 
 
 Shook Pluto's throne, — who trembled for his friends. 
 So skiird, so prompt to serve their mutual ends. 
 Resolv'd to part them, he ascends to light. 
 Enters the room, in solemn vest bedight, 
 
 A sable truncheon his right-hand displays, 35 
 And in his left four flaming torches blaze : 
 Rings on his fingers for departed friends; 
 Athwart his breaft a silken scarf descends; 
 Plumes on his head, and on his back he bore. 
 Like herald's coat, a robe escutcheon'd o'er ; 43 
 An Undertaker aptly he appears : 
 Black is the constant dress Hell's monarch wears,- 
 
 Thus have we seen, in pantomimic tricks. 
 Grim Pluto thro' the trap-door come from Styx 5 
 Black and all black, all dismal is his suit, 45 
 
 ^nd powder'd seems the perulce's self with soot : 
 
 His 
 
[ 38i ] 
 
 His legs alone, with emblematic aim. 
 In scarlet-colour'd hose affect to flame. 
 
 *^ Hold, hold, (he cries,) what means this de- 
 sp'rate fray ? 
 *^ Will ye yourselves instead of others slay ? 50 
 
 '* Has Beatime puTg'd Autumn of each sad complaint ? 
 " The air in vain does injiiienza taint ? 
 *' What! no acute, no chronical disease, 
 " No fevers want your aid ? No pleurisies, 55 
 *' No coughs, consumptions, atrophies, catarrhs? 
 <' No foul mishaps from love's intemp'rate wars? 
 ** If ye neglect your business, there will be, 
 ^^ Alas I I fear, but little work for me. 
 
 " What's 
 
 V. 52. Has Beaume/arj-V Autumn of each sad comp.'laintf 
 Tht air in fuain does influenza taint? 
 
 Beaume de Vie. A medicine so called, which is advertised 
 as a sovereign remedy against auiumnal complainrs, 
 
 Infltienza, A distemper which rages in Italy, in the Summer 
 months. The term has been adopted in England. 
 
 V. 58. If ye neglect your business^ there ivill be^ 
 Alas! I fear ^ but little ivorkfor me. 
 
 The two trades are so intimately connected, that an eminent 
 apothecary, whose eldest son is brought up to the father's pro- 
 fession, has, with a prudent forecast, bound his youngest son 
 apprentice to an undertaker. 
 
r 382 j 
 
 «^ What's in a name ? that which we call a Wig 66 
 ** By any other name would look as big. . 
 " AVhat's in a place P Where'er ye had degrees, 
 ** The same the Latin in your recipes; 
 " The scrawl, illegible to vulgar eyes, 
 ** Denotes you deeply learn'd, and wond'rous wise i 
 *' Think on the meed, that tickles sweet your hand, 
 
 " The ghtt'ringmeed no doctor can withstand, 
 
 " Though doctors differ; for the human tripe 
 *V Though some the purge prefer, and some the pipe; 
 ** Or in th* intestines raise the sharp commotion 70 
 *' Some with a pill, and others with a potion ; 
 «' Tho', to apply the flayer of the fkin^ 
 ** Some hold a virtue, others hold a sin; 
 " In antimony some their trust repose, 
 " And some in mercury,— to save a nose; 75 
 
 * 'la 
 
 V. 60. What^s in a name ? That niuhich ive call a ivig^ 
 
 By any other name ivould look as big, 
 A parody on the following lines ; 
 *' What's' in a name? that which we call a rose. 
 By ^ny other name would fmell as sweet." 
 
 Romeo and JutiET* 
 
 V. 72. The flayer of the skin, 
 A poetical expression for e?njilasti\ episjiastic-^ln plain 
 EnzUsh^ a blister. 
 
C 383 1 
 
 " In this one point ye never disagree, 
 " Ye*re all unanimous — about the fee. 
 
 *^ Come then, my friends, (for now metkinkslspj 
 ** A mild complacency in ev'ry eye,) 
 *' Think on the meed, that tickles sweet your hand^Bo 
 *^ The glitt'ring meed, no doctor can withstand* 
 
 V. 76. In this one point ye nevtr disagresy 
 Ye^re all unanimous — about the fee, 
 
 AboAit each symptom how they disagree,— 
 But how unanimous in case of fee. Garth* 
 
 V. So. Think on the meed that tickles sine et your hand^ 
 
 The glitt'ring meed, no doctor can withstand. 
 
 To corroborate the truth of this maxim, we shall talte fc 
 liberty of setting down the two following short stories, by way 
 of illustration. The circumstances required the stile of tb« 
 narration to be more familiar than would suit with the dignaty 
 of the rest of the poem, to have them interwoven in the body .©'I 
 it. 
 
 A doctor once (no matter whence I ween, 
 
 From Oxford, Leyden, Cam, or Aberdeen,) 
 
 Was call'd to visit one with utmost speed ; 
 
 But, when he came, behold ! the patient's dead- 
 
 " What ! dead ?" " Ye>, doctor, dead : but here's yo-urf&s.*' 
 
 " Oh, very well :— *tis all the same to me." 
 
 A doctor once (O tell it not in Bath, 
 Le&l Doctor Somebody be much in wrath,) 
 
[ 384 3 
 
 ^* Like to the cur in -^sop's tale display'd 
 *^ Ye quit the substance, and embrace the shade* 
 ** Z/V^;z//^/o licence has — to kill: 
 *^ Can Socio boast a greater powV, or ikill? 8j 
 *« While ye dispute, and quarrel for a word, 
 *^ Behold ! your patients are to health restored. 
 
 ** Ye three-tail'd sages, cease your disputation, 
 " Be friends, and social join in consultation ; 
 ** Each shake his loaded noddle with the other, g0 
 ** And brother gravely smell his cane with brother." 
 
 He 
 
 Soon as he saw the sick rtian, shook his head : 
 
 No pause ; no breath ; the man in short was dead* 
 
 Now as our doctor kept his silent stand. 
 
 The tempting shiner in the dead man's hand 
 
 He faw ; he touch'd ; and seizing, " 'Tis for me,'* 
 
 He cried, and took his farewell, — and the fee» 
 
 . V, 87. Behold ! jour fiatients are to Jiealtk restored. 
 
 It is very remarkable, that the* decrease of burials within 
 the Bills of Mortality for the year 1767 is not less than 1299, 
 owing, (it may perhaps be fupposed) to the Physicians having 
 been so much taken up with squabbles among themselves, 
 
 V. 90. Each shake his haded noddle with the other^ 
 
 And brother granjely smell his cane ^ih brother • 
 An imitation of the following lines: 
 " One fool lolls his tongue out at another, 
 And shakes his empty noddle at his brother." 
 
 * See the General Bill of Mortality, fet forth by Parish 
 Clejrks, from December 15, 1766, to December 16, 1767. 
 
C 385 3 
 
 Me ended, and forthwith to sight appears 
 A car triumphal in the form of hearse : 
 Six coal-black steeds " draggM its slow length along," 
 Deaf to aighty aight^ and heedless of the thong. 95 
 These with dull pace th' infernal monarch drew, 
 (Laid flat upon his back, and hid from view,) 
 In awful pomp^ slow^ solemn, sad, and still, 
 Thro' Warwick-lane, and on, (down Ludgate-hill,) 
 To the Fleet-market, whose stupendous ditch 100 
 A lazy current rollsj as black as pitch \ 
 From whence a passage, dismal, dark, and dank. 
 Leads underneath to Acheron s gloomy bank. 
 Twelve sable imps the vehicle surround, 
 Andwithlethiferousnight*shadestrewtheground : 105 
 
 A strong 
 
 V. 94. Six coal-bkck steeds drag'd Us slow length along. 
 
 Imit. " And like a wounded snake, drag*d its slow 
 length along." 
 
 V. 9?. i)^^//^ aight, aighr, and heedless of the thng, 
 Eighty aighi-^zn expression in the huynhym language, made 
 use of by coachmen, 2fC. in speaking to the horses, signifying, 
 
 Dd 
 
[ 386 ] 
 
 A strong perfume, as in his car he rode, 
 Of assafcett'da procWim^d the god. 
 
 Their feuds forgot, the doctors, with amaze 
 And rev'rent awe, on the procession gaze, 
 
 V. io6. j^ sir ong [ler fume y as in his car he rode, 
 (yassa ic£i\di?i Jirodaim* d the god, 
 
 Assafcetida^ vulgarly called devils* dung; abundance of which 
 is found about the Peak in Derbyshire. [Sec Cotton's Natural 
 History of that place.] 
 
 THE END, 
 
C 387 ] 
 
 The Puhlisher thinks that the three following 
 Compositions^ which came into his hands 
 accidentally, though very short, deserve to 
 he presented again to the public. 
 
 D d 
 
C 389 3 
 
 PANDOLFO ATTONITO! 
 
 ( 
 
 OR, 
 
 Lord Galloway's Poetical Lamentation 
 
 ON THE 
 
 REMOVAL OF THE ARM-CHAIRS 
 
 FROM THE 
 
 PIT AT THE OPERA HOUSE! 
 
 ** Faut il que la Folic critique agite fans cesse son gi'elot ? Qu'importe 
 de connoitre I'Auteur ? N'y a-t-il pas beaucoup d' oyvrages que les doctes 
 et les sages lifent avec deliccs, sans savoir qui les ait faits, comnae Ic 
 Pervigilium Veneris en Latin, les Lettres de Junius en Anglois, TEpitre 
 Heroique au Chevalier GuilJaumc Chambers, Ic poeme satirique intitule, 
 les Pourfuites de la Literature, les poesies et les plaisanteries de I'Anti- 
 Jacobin, et plusieurs autres ouvrages, tant en prose qu'en vers, dont an 
 fait tant de cas ? Comment done dans le Jardin d' Apollon, quand on 
 veut seulcmene arracher une fleur, ou cueillir une rofe, faut il demander 
 toujours, " Qui est le Jardinier?^' 
 
 Jugcment du Fere Elisee Bonifoux, ci-devant Bcnedictin, 
 Confesieur Ordinaire du Due de Q. et des Dames d^ I'Opera, 
 faitfw Confestiofia! zn sujec des Plaintes Poetiques pretendues 
 de Milord Galloway. 
 
 First Printed in May i, 1800, 
 
 Dd3 
 
I 391 1 
 
 March 19, 1800. 
 
 THE ARGUMENT, 
 
 A Month or two ago, Lord Galloway came to the Opera 
 House, and on the Pit-door near the Orchestra being opened, 
 he perceived to his confusion and astonifliment, that a long 
 Bench was substituted in the place of the Row of Arm- 
 CHAiRs(fi) at the bottom of the Pit, the principal or cen- 
 tral of which he had filled for so many nights with dis- 
 cernment and dignity, and to the general satisfaction of 
 every person present. His Lordship conceiving, rather 
 hastily, that this measure was intended as a personal slight 
 to himself, retired disconcerted, without taking his feat; 
 and, as he is a votary of the Muses, penned the following 
 Lamentation, which he sent to Lord Salisbury the next 
 day, and recovered his wonted good humour, chearfulness,^ 
 and gayety. 
 
 {a) At this time the space of one row had been separated 
 from the benches at the bottom of the Pit, where the arm-chairs 
 were placed. 
 
 D d 4 
 
I 393 ] 
 
 PANDOLFO ATTONITO! 
 
 OR. 
 
 LORD galloway's 
 
 POETICAL LAMENTATION 
 
 ON THE 
 
 REMOVAL OF THE ARM-CHAIRS 
 
 FROM THE 
 
 PIT AT THE OPERA HOUSE! 
 
 Aria'di Pandolfo. 
 Chi mi rifponde ? 
 Vocj profonde 
 Par die mi dicono, 
 
 Pape Satan 1 
 Spirti domeftici, 
 Erranti Lcmuri 
 iChe mi rispondono, 
 
 Certo saran. 
 
 .Coro Zingaicsco. 
 
 fC/ie canta nascosto) 
 Bergui, Gambagora, 
 
 Pape Satan! 
 
 Gli Zingari in Tiera^ A. I, Opera Classica, 
 
 Vv HAT ! — the proud honours of the chair 
 
 Must I no more, with Cecil (^), share!— 
 
 Still be my soul serene : 
 
 Virt& 
 
 {a) " Our Midas sits Lord Chancellor of Plays ^'^ 
 
 ]Dunciad» 
 
C 394 ] 
 
 FirtUf or Virtue's but a name, ] 
 
 Bjutus and Galloway exclaim. 
 And sighing quit the scene. 
 
 Too sure I heard a warning knell^ 
 And told my Critic Brother Bell(^) 
 
 The fall of seats (c) and stocks; 
 Yet fondly sooth'd by Bo l la's airs. 
 Thought Taylor's bottom, and his Chairs 
 
 Secure with keys and locks. (J) 
 
 But ah ! how Fortune loves to joke 1 
 
 Expeird am I, who sung and spoke 
 
 As loud as at the Fair : (e) 
 
 While 
 
 (5) Mr. BeLL, an ingenious Gentleman, very conversant in 
 the stocks an4 funds, Grand j^mateur, and Connoisseur of th Lotver 
 Bench* 
 
 {c) It is feared that the noble Lord alludes to the value of 
 seats in a certain House, after the Union. 
 
 Publisher, 
 
 [d) The bottoms of these lamented chairs vttrt kept under 
 lock and key. 
 
 {e) i. c. As loud as the very Gipsies themselves on the Stage 
 at the fair. This is poetry but no fiction. 
 
 Publisher^ 
 
r 395 3 
 
 While yearly, with six thousand pound. 
 The Commons Addington have bound 
 Their Servant to the Chair, 
 
 My purer taste, my classic eye, 
 Unzon'd Thalia could descry. 
 
 Who stepp'd beyond her place : 
 How oft I warn'd, in either House, 
 That charms too [ilain at last would rouse 
 
 The Mitre and the Mace I 
 
 I with Pandolfo watch'd the sphere. 
 When Mars on Venus shone so clear. 
 
 That Saturn (/) felt the shock : 
 Grave Shute and Henry shrunk at Love, 
 And at the loose flesh-colour'd glove. 
 
 That biush'd at twelve 6* clock, 
 
 I said, some folks would thunder Greek 
 
 At HiLLiGSB erg's morale lubri(j^uey 
 
 And Par I sot's costume ! (^) 
 
 Where 
 
 (/) " Qycl Saturno hriccon ti guarda trino.'* 
 
 Gli Ziiigari in Fiera, A. i, 
 is) ConteAa levi velatum pectus amictu, 
 Et tereti strophio Ittcta nta vincta Jiajtillas, 
 
 Catullus. 
 
C 396 1 
 
 Where shall V&uWima^ tight and round, {k) 
 In vest appropriate now be found. 
 With India's palm and plume ? 
 
 Old QuEENSBURY fcels his dotard qualm, 
 Terpsichore can pour no balm 
 
 0*er ^^^his visual ray; 
 Nor William (/) can console the Sage, 
 Nor Elisee (^Lliis pain assuage. 
 
 Nor Yarmouth smooth his way. 
 
 When 
 
 0) Alluding to the fascinating Ballet of Paul et Virginie. 
 Bacchus and Ariadne too are now constrained to appear in 
 patch-work dresses : and thus the Costume is lost, 3nd the 
 Graces mourn. Jacet semisepulta Venus. So says the D. of (^ 
 and many others of the ton hold the same doctrine. 
 
 If Projiertius were Ballet Master he would cast the parts of 
 the HiLLiSBERG toujours gate et luteressantey of the Parisot au 
 geste anime et suhlime, and of the Laborie a sourire doux et en* 
 chanteur^ with exquisite and appropriate taste. 
 
 Hasc hederas legat in tJiyrsosy Hsec carmtna nerms 
 Jljtiet, €t \\\^ manu texat ulraque rosam ! 
 
 (i) Lord William Gordoq. 
 
 (I) Pere Elise'e, Conoscente e Medico di camera al Sere- 
 nissimo Duca. 
 
 ** Cot-Jto doiato di Sanitd,** 
 
 Gli Zingari in Fiera, 
 
[ 397 3 
 
 When Marinari*s{/) magic hand 
 Trac'd the bold view in fabled land. 
 
 For Fawns and Wood-nymphs meet : 
 Ah, soon, I cried, may Sal'sb'ry think, 
 'Tis just, that they who dance should drink. 
 
 And they who sing, should eat. (//) 
 
 For this, in arbitrating state. 
 In presence of the wise and great, 
 I sung the Sovereign's air : (w) 
 
 Firm 
 
 (/) The Painter of various exquisite Scenes at the Opera 
 House. 
 
 (//) Les Chanteurs et Jes Danseurs, des deux Sexed, a Mon- 
 sieur Taylor si tendre et si cruel; *' Ilfaut que nous •uivians,^''-^ 
 Keponse de Monsieur Taylor. *' Je rien voisjias la neassitii* 
 Le Tableau, - 
 'Presente a Monseigneur h Chamhellan Polonius \ 
 ** Ghanteurs, Danseurs, assailants, assaillis, 
 Battans, battus, dans ce grand chamaiilis; 
 Ciel, que de cris, et que de hurlemens I 
 Pere Elise^e repfit un peo ses sens; 
 II se tenoit les deux cotes de rire, 
 Et reconnut que ce fatal empire 
 Be rOpera, des Jeux, et du grand Ton, 
 Etoit sans doute une cEUvre du Demon.'* 
 
 The EditoA^ 
 {m) The Air of Midas in the Burletta, beginning thus : 
 *' I'm given to understand that yow're all ia a pother hwc, 
 disputing whjther, &c»" 
 
[ 398 ] 
 
 Firm was my voice, for Taylor smil'd • 
 Nor deemM I then, (too well beguird) 
 How slippery was the Chair. 
 
 Not Gordon's broad and brawny Grace, 
 The last new Woman in the Place (;/) 
 
 With more contempt could blast; 
 Not Marlb' rough's damp on Blandford's purse 
 To me could prove a heavier curse ; 
 
 My fame, my glory past. 
 
 Fairn though I am, I ne'er shall mourn, 
 Like the dark Peer on Storer's urn, (««) 
 Reflecting on his Seat / 
 
 Iri 
 
 («) An expression used, with a curious felicity, by her Gracfe 
 for " the Manufa^ured Ladies of Fashion^'' imported from York, 
 and other counties into Portland Place, &c. whose houses she 
 condesanded to fenter. But ohce she was'most unfortunately mis* 
 taken. 
 
 Car Madame Milnes, ouvrant un large tec ^ 
 { Ay ant en un Palais changee sa ckaumiere^ 
 Son air de drap devint demarche fiere ;) 
 Disoit tout haut^ que Gordon parloit Orec, 
 Les Grands surjiris admirent sa hauteur^ 
 Et les Petits V apjiellent Dame d" honneur, 
 
 LE9ON a deux tranchans, tant a la 
 
 Bourgeoisie^ qu* a la Noblesse; 
 
 Publisher. 
 
C 399 3 
 
 In vain that mean mysterious Sire 
 In embers would conceal the fire ; 
 While Honour's pulse can beat. 
 
 For me shall droop th' Assyrian Queen, {0} 
 With softest strain and tragic mien. 
 
 The SiDDONS in her art ; 
 E'en BoLLA (^) shall forget to please. 
 With sparkling eye and playful ease, 
 
 And Didelot shall start. 
 
 Leo enthroned bade Querno sit ; 
 And Gianni's (^) verse and regal wit 
 
 The Consul loves to share : 
 Pye has the laurel and the sack, 
 And Coombe the foolscoat (r) on his back. 
 
 But Galloway, no Chair, 
 
 Yet 
 
 («») Antory Storer, Esq. formerly Member for Mor- 
 peth, (as some persons near Carlisle and Castle-Howard may 
 possibly recollect^) a gentleman well known in the circles of 
 /fashion and polite literature. 
 
 (0) Banti /« Sovrana, 
 
 (^) 60LLA la Fez.ZQsa, 
 
 {q) Gianni, the Italian Poet Laureat to Bonaparte, as 
 Camillo Querno was to Pope Leo. X. For a specimen of Gianni's 
 Poetry, see the Paper called, the Times of Dec 31, 1800, 
 
 (r) Harvey Coombe, Esq. was Lord Mayor that year. 
 
C 400 ] 
 
 Yet though, reduced by Taylor's pranks, 
 I sit confounded /;/ the ranks^ 
 
 Good humour's still my own ; 
 Still shall I breathe in rapturous trance, 
 *« Eternal be the Song, the Dance, 
 
 The Opera, and the Throne!' 
 
[ 401 ] 
 
 CAPELL'S GHOST, 
 
 
 EDiMUND MALONE, Esq, 
 
 EDITOR OF SHAKSPEARE. 
 
 A PARODY. 
 
 First printed in 1799. 
 
 X 
 
 E e 
 
C 403 ] 
 
 CAP ELL'S GHOST, 
 
 TO 
 
 EDMUND MALONE, Esq, 
 EDITOR OF SHAKSPEARE. 
 
 A PARODY. 
 
 As nearhonour'd Stratford lying. 
 
 Fast by Avon's swelling Flood, 
 At midnight with streamers flying, 
 
 Shakspeare's gallant Navy rode ; 
 There while Edmund sate all glorious 
 
 From false Ireland's (a) late defeat, 
 And the critic crews victorious 
 
 Drank success to every sheet : 
 
 On a sudden strangely sounding. 
 
 Dubious notes and yells were heard. 
 Grammar, sense, and points confounding, 
 
 A sad troop of Clerks appear'd ; 
 
 E e 2 All 
 
 {a} The Publisher of the Norfolk-Street Shakspeare Papers. 
 
[ 4^4 ] 
 
 All in spotted night-gowns shrowded,. 
 
 AVhich in life for coats they wore. 
 And with looks by reading clouded, 
 
 Frown*d on the reviewing shore. 
 
 On them gleam'd the Moon's wan lustre^ 
 
 When the shade of Capeil bold 
 His black bands was seen to muster. 
 
 Rising from their cases old. 
 G'er the gKmmering stream he hied him. 
 
 Where The Ste evens* rear'd her sail. 
 With three hundred Clerks beside him. 
 
 And in groans did EdmunI) hail : 
 
 *' Heed, oh heed my fatal story, 
 
 I am Cap e l l ^s inj ur'd Ghost f 
 You who now have purchased glory. 
 
 Near the pkce where I was lost. 
 Though in Chalmers' /f^^^« ruin 
 
 You now triumph free from fears^ 
 When you think of ;«)» undoing. 
 
 You must mix your joy with tears, 
 
 f The Admiral's ship. 
 
 Mark 
 
C 405 3 
 
 " Mark the forms by Shakspeare painted. 
 
 Ghastly o'er the harrowing scene. 
 Envy wan with colours tainted, 
 
 And Detraction's skulking mien. 
 Mark the passions foul and horrid. 
 
 Lowering o'er the blasted Heath ; 
 Hecate hides her Son's black forehead. 
 
 At the scoundrel tale beneath. 
 
 «< 
 
 I, by Learning's train attended, 
 
 Treasures hid Jirst brought to light ; 
 And from none my stores defended. 
 
 Who for Shakspeare burn'd to fight. 
 Oh, that from such friends' caresses 
 
 I had turn*d me with disdain. 
 Nor had felt the keen distresses. 
 
 Stung by all that serpent train,. 
 
 " Rival scholars I ne'er dreaded. 
 
 But in twenty years had done. 
 What thou, Edmund, little Iieeded, 
 
 Hast atchievM in eight alone. 
 
 E e 3 Then 
 
[ 4o6 ] 
 Then the shelves of Cadell never 
 
 Had my foul dishonour seen : 
 Nor contempt the sad receiver 
 
 Of my Shakspeare's School had been. 
 
 " Warburton and Pope dismaying, 
 
 And their blunders bringing home, 
 Though condemned to Satire's flaying, 
 
 I had met a Tibbald's doom j 
 To have fallen, Sam Johnson crying. 
 
 He has played a Scholar's part j 
 Had been better far than dying. 
 
 Struck by cowards to the heart. 
 
 ** Unrepining at such glory, 
 
 Thy successful toil I hail ; 
 Men will feel my cruel story. 
 
 And let CAPELL^s/Wongs prevail. 
 Doom'd in Slander's clime to languish. 
 
 Days and nights consum'd in vain> 
 Worn by treachery and anguish. 
 
 Not in open battle slain. 
 
 Hence 
 
[ 407 J 
 " Hence with all my Clerks attending, 
 
 From their parchment- tombs below. 
 Through their ofEce-dust ascending. 
 
 Here I feed my constant woe. 
 Here the commentators viewing, 
 
 I recall my shameful doom. 
 And my primal notes renewing, 
 
 Wander through the letter'd gloom. 
 
 *^ O'er MY SCHOOL for ever mourning. 
 
 Shall I roam deprived of rest. 
 If to Avon's banks returning. 
 
 You neglect my just request ; 
 After your dull foe subduing. 
 
 When your Stratford friends you sec, 
 Think on Vengeance for my ruin. 
 
 And for Shakspeare sham'd in me !'* 
 
 £e4 
 
[ 409 1 
 
 THE 
 
 OLD HAG IN A RED CLOAK 
 
 A ROMANCE. 
 
 Inscribed to Matthew Lewis Esq. M. P. the Author of 
 ^ The Grim White Woman." 
 
 ¥uii printed in 1801* 
 
[ 411 ] 
 THE 
 
 OLD HAG IN A RED CLOAK, 
 
 Inscribed to Matthew Lewis Esq. M. P. 
 
 Author of the Grim White Woman, and of other Tales of 
 Wonder!" 
 
 A ROMANCE. 
 
 jVIat Lewis was little, Mat Lewis was j^oung^ 
 The words they Hsp'd prettily over his tongue; 
 A spy-glass he us*d, for he could not well see, 
 A spy-glass he us'd, for near-sighted was he. 
 
 With his spy-glass once spying in Parliament-street, 
 He chanc'd an old Hag in a red cloak to meet ; 
 When the Hag in a red cloak thus awfully said, 
 '' Pray give me a six-pence to buy me some bread.** 
 
 No six-pence Til give thee to buy thee some bread 
 To the Hag in a red cloak Mat feelingly said ; 
 Then down to the House in a huff strutted he. 
 Sure all the world knows little Mat's an M. P. 
 
 But 
 
C 41^ ] 
 
 But as onward he strutted, and push'd thro' the crowd. 
 The Hag in a red cloak still curst him aloud; 
 Strange words of mysterious intent struck his ear. 
 And could he be frighten'd he'd then have known fear. 
 
 •' Though cold be thy heart, and thy feelings as cold. 
 Though bold be thy mien, and thy language as bold, 
 Ere the clock at St. Giles's is heard to strike one, 
 A deed to confound thee, a deed shall be done." 
 
 5he spoke ; and then vanish'd at once from his sight, 
 [n a cellar as dark as the darkness of night ; 
 But ev'ry five minutes this horrible strain 
 Rush'd in fearful recurrence o'er Mat's tortur'd brain. 
 
 From the House about twelve to his house he repairs ; 
 To creek seem'd the doors, and to crack seem'd the 
 
 stairs; 
 He put out the candle, his cloaths off he threw. 
 When St. Giles's struck one, and the door open flew. 
 
 rhen the Hag in a red cloak of Parliament-street, 
 The Hag in a red cloak whom Mat chanc'd to meet, 
 The Mag in a red cloak, who to him once said. 
 Pray give me a six-pence to buy me some bread, 
 
 I By 
 
[ 413 3 
 
 By a sort of a blue and a glimmering light 
 Rode quite round his bedstead and full in his sight ; 
 She rode in a carriage that hight a birch broom. 
 And her breath breath'd the whiffings of gin through 
 the room. 
 
 •' I ask*d thee, she cried in a hoarse, hollow voice. 
 For six- pence, thou gav'st not while yet in thy choice; 
 For punishment dread then, pretender, prepare. 
 Which e'en to repentance 1 now cannot spare. 
 
 " Know that she who so lately sustained your abuse- 
 Is thy mother, oh shame ! and my name Mother Goose; 
 To a German Romancer thee dreaming I bore, 
 And we both dipp'd thee deep in the tale-telling lore., 
 
 *' Too soon thou outdidst all my wonders of old, 
 And instead of my stories thy nonsense was told; 
 With nurses and children I lost my high place, 
 And from Newberry's shop I was turn'd in disgrace. 
 
 " Depriv'd of a corner to hide my old head, 
 I wander'd about, begging e'en for my bread ; 
 
 When thou too, my child, to complete my despair^ 
 
 Refus'd my own spoils with thy mother to share. 
 
 Bue 
 
[ 4H ] 
 
 * But vain are thy hopes to supplant me on earth, 
 For know that immortal I am in my birth, 
 Zan defeat all thy arts by a magical spell, 
 ft^nd all thy productions in paper dispelL 
 
 ' Ye ghosts and hobgoblins, and horrible shapes. 
 Ye lions, and wolves, and ye griffins and apes. 
 Ye strange jumbled figures from river or den, 
 Yc fire-born monsters, and fishified men, 
 
 ' Ye raw-heads and bloody-bones, spectres and shades, 
 f\jid wat^r-sprite swains, and transmogrified maids, 
 AlS your grandmother's curses on each of you fall, 
 Fo hell and the devil fly one and fly all !" 
 
 Fhen the ghosts and hobgoblins, and horrible shapes^ 
 find lions and wolves, and the griffins, and apes, 
 /Ind strange jumbled figures from river or den, 
 A.nd fire-born monsters, and fishified men, 
 
 \nd raw-heads and bloody bones, spectres and shades, 
 ft.nd water-sprite swains, and transmogrified maids, 
 ^hen they heard the goose curses on each of them fall. 
 To hell and the devil fled one, and fled all. 
 
 Fled 
 
C 415 3 
 Fled in fire and in water, in smoke and in hail. 
 Some green, and some red, some black, and some pale^ 
 Fled in accents of horror, of spirit, of wit, 
 Fralira, tralara, or fal-de-ral tit. 
 
 While as fast as away Matty's progeny flew, 
 Mother Goose summoned up her original crew. 
 Who with loud peals of laughter and sallies of fun, 
 Quizz'd, pinched, and tormented her reprobate son. 
 
 A Knight led them on, who was first to assail. 
 Who was arm'd cap-a-pee m a dear coat of mail. 
 Sir Horn-Book hight he j at the very first glance 
 Mat saw he was Lord o'er the field of Romance. 
 
 Then little Red-Riding-Hood's Wolf howFd amain. 
 Fear shook all his limbs, and unsettled his brain ; 
 But the horrors he suffered can ne'er be surpass'd. 
 When little Cock-Robin's sad funeral pass'd. 
 
 As Blue-Beard for blood loudly howl'd o'er his wife. 
 And sister Anne pleaded so well for her life. 
 Mat's fav'rite spectre he saw dance in air. 
 And he gave up his spirit a prey to despair. 
 
 To 
 
f 416 3 
 
 To his parent he bow'd, and no\y penitent gfoan^ 
 Cried, " Thy strength and my empty pretences I own^ 
 ** In vain were my hopes to supplant thee on earth, 
 •^ And immortal, O mother, thou art in thy birth I 
 
 ** As now you behold me in penitence sunk, 
 ** Take all my Romances, nay take too my Monk; 
 " But leave me^ since thus I acknowledge my crimen 
 " My epilogues^ sonnets, and lady*like rhyme."' 
 
 Mother Goose^ as her son was in penitence sunk^ 
 Took all his Romances, but took too his Monk^ 
 And left him in pity to trifle his time 
 In epilogues, sonnets, and lady^likc rhyme^ 
 
 If you wish me the moral, dear Mat, to rehearse, 
 ^Tis that nonsense is nonsense in prose or in verse 5 
 That the man who to talent makes any pretence. 
 Should write not at all^ or should write common sense t 
 
 THE END OF THE COLLECTION 
 
 OF 
 
 MODERN SATIRICAL POEMS. 
 
 Jaques and Co, Lombard-ftreet, Fleet-ftrect, Londou