Six Who Pass While The Lentils Boil BY STUART WALKER STEWART KIDD •MODERN PLAYS EDITED BV FRANK SHAY The Portmanteau Plays BY STUART WALKER Edited and with an introduction by Edward Hale Bierstadt Brooklyn Eagle: "All of the plays in these attractive maroon volumes are literary without being pedantic, and dramatic without being noisy. They are a genuine addition to the steadily growing list of worthwhile plays by American dramatists. Stewart & Kidd are to be con- gratulated on presenting them to the public in such attractive format.'* Vol. 1— Portmanteau Plays Introduction The Trimplet Nevertheless Six Who Pass While the Lentils Boil Medicine Show Vol. 2 — More Portmanteau Plays Introduction The Lady of the Weeping Willow Tree The Very Naked Boy Jonathan Makes a Wish To be issued shortly Vol. 3 — Portmanteau Adaptations Introduction Gammer Gurton's Needle The Birthday of the Infanta "Seventeen" Each of the above volumes handsomely bound and illustrated. Per volume net, in Silk Cloth $2.50; % Turkey Morocco $8.50 Stewart & Kidd Company Publishers Cincinnati, U. S. A. STEWART KIDD MODERN PLAYS Edited by Frank Shay SIX WHO PASS WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL Stewart Kidd Modern Plays Edited by Frank Shay A I \) MEET the immensely increased de- -■- mands of the play-reading public and those interested in the modern drama, Stewart & Kidd Company are issuing under the general editor- ship of Frank Shay a series of plays from the pens of the world's best contemporary writers. No effort is being spared to secure the best work available, and the plays are issued in a form that is at once attractive to readers and suited to the needs of the performer and producer. From time to time special announcements will be printed giving complete lists of the Plays. Those announced thus far are: SHAM, a Social Satire in One Act. By Frank G. Tompkins. Originally produced by Sam Hume, at the Arts and Crafts Theatre, Detroit. THE SHEPHERD IN THE DISTANCE, a Pantomime in One Act. By Holland Hudson. Originally produced by the Washington Square Players. MANSIONS, a Play in One Act. By Hildegarde Flanner. Originally produced by the Indiana Little Theatre Society. HEARTS TO MEND, a Fantasy in One Act. By H. A. Overstreet. Originally produced by the Fireside Players, White Plains, N. Y. Others to follow. Bound in Art Paper. Each net 50 cents. Six Who Pass While The Lentils Boil BY STUART WALKER Author of Portmanteau Plays and More Portmanteau Plays igi*ua*M.4iaij| m CINCINNATI. U & A. CINCINNATI STEWART KIDD COMPANY PUBLISHERS <9&*i Copyright, 1921 STEWART KIDD COMPANY All Rights Reserved Copyright in England This play is fully protected by copyrights. All public performances are forbidden. All dramatic and produc- ing rights are retained by Stuart Walker, who may be addressed at 304 Carnegie Hall, New York City. MAR 26 1921 ©C1A612304 It is advisable in presenting Six Who Pass to precede the play with the Prologue to The Portmanteau Theatre, which is to be found in Portmanteau Plays by Stuart Walker. A delightful evening of plays can be made up of (i) The Prologue to the Portmanteau Theatre, (2) The Trimplet, (3) Nevertheless or The Very Naked Boy or The Medicine Show, (4) Six Who Pass While the Lentils Boil. All these plays can be found in Port- manteau Plays or More Portmanteau Plays by Stuart Walker, published by Stewart Kidd Company. It is advisable in playing Six Who Pass not to at- tempt any sort of mechanical arrangement of the But- terfly. A personification of it would be even more dis- tracting. The best plan to follow is to have a stationary, large butterfly poised somewhere near the windows in the back wall of the kitchen. SIX WHO PASS WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL First performance at Christodora House, New York City, July 14, 191 5 Prologue to the Theatre Hugh Dillman Prologue to the Play Henry Kiefer The Device-Bearer Edmond Crenshaw In the Audience Francis Stevens The Boy James W. Morrison The Queen Judith Lowry The Mime Richard Farrell The Milkmaid Nancy Winston The Blindman Joseph Graham The Ballad-Singer Tom Powers The Headsman McKay Morris At this performance, which was not open to the pub- lic, Oscar Craik manipulated the mechanism of the Butterfly. At later performances it was decided to avoid this disturbing element in so simple a play, and ever after the Butterfly poised where he could see and hear, but not distract. First public performance at Jordan Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, February 14, 1916, and at the 39th Street Theatre, New York City, November 27, 191 6. Prologue to the Theatre Florence Wollersen Prologue to the Play Lew Medbury The Device-Bearer Edmond Crenshaw In the Audience Agnes Rogers The Boy Gregory Kelly The Queen Judith Lowry The Mime Wilmot Heitland* The Milkmaid Nancy Winston The Blindman Edgar Stehli The Ballad-Singer Stuart Walker The Headsman McKay Morris • Played in New York by Willard Webster. When the play was "revived" in Indianapolis and Chicago in 191 7, the Headsman was played by George Gaul. 6 The Boy The Queen The Mime The Milkmaid The Blindman The Ballad-Singer The Dreadful Headsman You {in the audience) The Scene is a kitchen The Period is when you will CO z o CO CO u w -J E H o a < CO / ■» s -r-k rt * £ £ p r/1 to bi) i:: k ^J JSi II SIX WHO PASS WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL [Before the opening of the curtains the Prologue enters upon the forestage and summons the Device-Bearer, who carries a large copper pot.] PROLOGUE This is a copper pot. (The Device-Bearer shows it to the audience carefully) It is filled with boiling water. (The Device-Bearer makes the sound of bubbling water) It is on the fire. See the flames. ( The Device-Bearer sets the pot in the center of the forestage and blows un- der it with a pair of bellows) And see the water boiling over. (The Device-Bearer again makes the sound of bubbling water and then withdraws to where he can see the play from the side of the forestage) We are looking into the kitchen of the Boy, whose mother left him alone. I do not know where she has gone, but I do know that he is gathering lentils now. YOU What are lentils? PROLOGUE A lentil? Why, a lentil, don't you see, is not a bean nor yet a pea; but it is kin to both. . . You must imagine that the boy has built the fire and set the water boiling. He is very indus- trious, but you need not feel sorry for him. His 9 SIX WHO PASS mother is very good to him and he is safe. Are you ready now?. . .Very well. Be quiet. (The Prologue claps his hands twice. The curtains open and a kitchen is disclosed. There are a bench, a stool, and a cupboard. A great door at the bach opens into a corridor. There are also two windows — one higher than the other looking upon the corridor. At the right a door opens into the bedroom of the Boy's mother. A great pewter spoon lies upon the shelf in the cupboard. A large Butterfly comes in through the doorway, flits about and looks of stage. The song of the Boy is heard from the garden. The Butterfly goes to the door, poises a mo- ment, then alights on the cupboard. The Boy enters with a great bowl filled with lentils. The Butterfly flies to the bowl and, satisfied, returns to the cupboard. The Boy smiles at the Butter- fly, but he does not touch him. Then he emp- ties the lentils into the pot and water splashes on his careless hand. A moan is heard in the distance. The Boy and the Butterfly go to the door. The Queen's voice is heard calling:) Butterfly, Butterfly, where shall I hide? (En- ter the Queen.) QUEEN Boy, Boy — oh, I am distraught! YOU What is distraught? PROLOGUE Distraught means distracted, perplexed, beset with doubt, worried by some fear. boy (pityingly) Why are you distraught? 10 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL QUEEN Oh — oh — oh — They are going to behead me ! BOY When? QUEEN Before mid-day. BOY Why are they going to behead you? Is it a story? Tell it to me. QUEEN I was guilty of a breach of etiquette. BOY What is that? QUEEN I did something that was considered bad man- ners, and the law says the punishment is decapi- tation. YOU What is decapitation? PROLOGUE Decapitation is beheading — cutting off one's head. BOY Why, only kings and queens can be decapitated. QUEEN Oh, I know — I know — BOY (disappointed) Are you a queen ? QUEEN Yes. BOY I thought all queens were big. My mother says they are always regal. And my mother knows 1 1 SIX WHO PASS QUEEN Oh, I am the queen. / am the queen; but I am so unhappy. BOY My mother told me kings and queens knew no fear. Why, you're afraid ! QUEEN Oh, Boy, Boy, I am your queen, and I am afraid and unhappy. And queens are just like other people when they are afraid and unhappy. BOY (disappointed) Aren't they always regal? QUEEN No — no. Oh, little boy, hide me ! Hide me from the Dreadful Headsman ! BOY I haven't any place to hide you. You couldn't get under the bench, and you couldn't get into the cupboard. QUEEN Little boy, can't you see that I shall lose my head if I am found? BOY You might have hidden in the pot if I hadn't put it on the fire. QUEEN Oh— Oh— Oh— BOY I'm sorry. QUEEN I am distraught. BOY Well, I'll hide you because you are distraught; 12 • i^- ; WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL but — I am not sure you are a queen. . . . Where's your crown? You can't be a queen without a crown ! (She reaches up to her head.) QUEEN Oh, I was running so fast that it must have slipped from my head. (Sees the Butterfly) Butterfly, tell him I am your Queen. (The But- terfly flies to her head and lights on her dis- heveled locks like a diadem.) BOY Oh, I have talked to the Queen ! . . . You can hide in my mother's bed-room in there; but first please tell me a story. QUEEN They will find me here. I'll tell you a story afterward. BOY I want you to tell me now. QUEEN Well, you watch at the door and warn me when you see someone coming. (The Butterfly brushes her ear) But stay, the Butterfly says he'll watch. (The Butterfly goes to the door.) BOY Will he know? QUEEN Oh, yes. He is a wonderful butterfly — wise beyond his years. BOY Sit down and tell me your story. (He places a black pillow for the Queen on the step and an orange pillow for himself.) 13 SIX WHO PASS QUEEN Last night we celebrated the second year of peace with the neighboring kingdom. We were dancing the minuet just after the banquet, when I stepped on the ring-toe of my husband, the King's great-aunt. BOY Didn't you say excuse me? QUEEN It was useless. The law says that if a queen steps on the ring-toe of the King's great-aunt or any member of her family the Queen must be beheaded while the King's four clocks are striking twelve at mid-day. BOY Oh, that means to-day? QUEEN Yes. BOY Why, it's almost mid-day now. See, I've just set the lentils boiling. QUEEN If you can hide me until after the King's four clocks strike twelve I shall be safe. BOY Why are there four clocks'? QUEEN Because the law allows only one clock for each tower in the castle. BOY. Then I hear all the King's clocks every day! There's a big clock, and two clocks not so big, and a tiny little clock. 14 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL QUEEN Yes, those are the four. BOY Why will you be safe after the four clocks strike twelve ? QUEEN Because that is the law. BOY Aren't laws funny? QUEEN Funny? This one is very sad, I think. BOY Mightn't it be twelve any mid-day? QUEEN No ; the Prime Minister of my grandfather who passed the law decided that it meant only the following mid-day. BOY (rising and rushing to the door) They'll find you here. QUEEN (rising calmly) Oh, no ; this is the short cut to the beheading block. Through that corridor. BOY Why didn't you run the other way? QUEEN Because they always search for escaped people in that direction. So I ran through your gar- den and into this room. They'll never search for me so close to the castle. BOY How did you escape? 15 SIX WHO PASS QUEEN I — (The Butterfly seems agitated.) BOY You— QUEEN Someone is coming! Hide me! BOY In here — in my mother's room. 'Sh ! 'Sh ! ( The Queen goes out. Enter the Mime. He pokes his head in the lower window and peeps around the door. The boy turns.) BOY (weakly) Are you the Dreadful Headsman? MIME What? BOY Are you the Dreadful Headsman? MIME Do I look like a headsman? BOY I don't know; I've never seen one. MIME Well, suppose I am? BOY Are you ? MIME Maybe I am. BOY Oh! MIME Booh! BOY I'm — I'm — not afraid. 16 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL MIME Bah! BOY And my mother isn't here. MIME Br — r — r — r ! (The Boy reaches for his knife.) MIME Bing! BOY I wasn't going to hurt you ! MIME 'Sh...'Sh...'Sh!... BOY I'll give you my knife if you'll go 'way. MIME Ah— ha ! BOY It's nearly mid-day and you'd better go. MIME Well, give me the knife. BOY Promise me to go. MIME (laughs, turning away) Aren't you going to the beheading? BOY No. I have to boil the lentils for our mid-day meal. MIME May I come back and eat some? BOY You'll have to ask my mother. 17 SIX WHO PASS MIME Where is she? BOY She's over that way. She went to the market to buy a bobbin. YOU What is a bobbin? PROLOGUE A bobbin is a spool upon which thread is wound, and it is sharp at one end so that it can be easily passed backward and forward, to and fro, through the other threads in making lace. MIME (starting off) Well, I'll be back to eat some lentils. BOY (too eagerly) You'd better hurry. MIME You seem to want to get rid of me. BOY (allaying suspicion) Well, I think you'd better go or you'll be late — and it's very wrong to be late. MIME (going toward the door) I think I'll — (chang- ing his mind) sit down. BOY (disappointed) Oh! MIME What would you say if I wasn't the Heads- man? BOY But you said you were. 18 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL MIME I said maybe I was. BOY Aren't you ? MIME Maybe I'm not. BOY Honest? MIME Um, hum. BOY (relieved) Oh! . . . MIME You were afraid. BOY No ... I wasn't. MIME Would you fight? BOY You bet I would. MIME It wouldn't take me a minute to lick you. BOY Maybe it wouldn't; but I wouldn't give up right away. That would be cowardly. . . . Who are you? MIME I'm a mime — BOY What's a mime? MIME A mime's a mime. *9 SIX WHO PASS BOY Go on and tell me. MIME A mime's a mountebank. BOY What's a mountebank? MIME A mountebank's a strolling player. BOY Are you going to perform for me ? MIME Not to-day — I'm on my way to the decapita- tion. BOY Do you want to see the decapitation? MIME Well, yes. But most of all, I want to pick up a few coins. BOY How? MIME Why, I'll perform after the Queen has lost her head. BOY Won't you be too sorry? MIME No. You see, I'll be thinking mostly about what I'm going to do. I have to do my best because it is hard to be more interesting than a decapitation. And after it's all over the crowd will begin to talk and to move about, and I'll have to rush up to the front of them and cry out at the top of my lungs, "Stop — Ho, for 20 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL Jack the Juggler! Would you miss him? In London, where the king of kings lives, all the knights and ladies of the Court would leave a crowning to watch Jack the Juggler toss three golden balls with one hand or balance a weather- vane upon his nose." Then a silence will come upon the crowd and they will all turn to me. Someone will say, "Where is this Jack the Jug- gler?" And I shall answer, "Jack the Juggler, the greatest of the great, the pet of kings, en- tertainer to the Pope and the joy of Cathay stands before you." And I'll throw back my cloak and stand revealed. So ! Someone will then shout, "Let us have it, Jack !" So I'll draw my three golden balls from my pouch — like this — and then begin. (The Boy is watching breathlessly, and the Butterfly is interested, too. Their disappointment is keen when Jack does nothing.) BOY Aren't you going to show me? MIME No, I must be off. BOY Aren't you ever coming back? MIME Maybe, yes; perhaps, no. BOY I'll give you some lentils if you'll juggle the balls for me. MIME (sniffs the pot) They aren't cooked yet. BOY Let me hold your golden balls. 21 SIX WHO PASS MIME (takes a gold ball from his pouch and lets the Boy hold it) Here's one. BOY And do they pay you well ? MIME (taking the ball from the Boy) Ay, that they do. If I am as interesting as the beheading I'll get perhaps fifteen farthings in money and other things that I can exchange for food and raiment. BOY I'm going to be a mime and buy a castle and a sword. MIME Maybe so, and maybe not. Who knows ? . . . Good-bye. (He goes out.) BOY (to the Butterfly) If he had been the Dread- ful Headsman I would have slain him. So! . . . "Ah, wicked Headsman, you shall not behead the Queen! . . . Cross not that threshold, or I'll run you through." (Through- out this the Butterfly shows great interest and enters into the spirit of it, being absorbed at times and frightened at others. Enter the Milk- maid at door.) MILKMAID Pst! . . . Pst! BOY (startled) Oh! MILKMAID Are you going to the decapitation? 22 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY No. Arc you? MILKMAID That I am. BOY Will your mother let you go? MILKMAID She doesn't know. BOY Did you run away? MILKMAID No. I went out to milk the cow. BOY And did you do it? MILKMAID Yes. BOY Why didn't you wait until you came back? MILKMAID My mother was looking, and I had to let her see me doing something. BOY How did you get away when you took the milk pails into the house? MILKMAID I didn't take them in. As soon as my mother turned her back I hid the pails and I ran through here to take a short cut. BOY Where did you hide the milk? MILKMAID In the hollow tree. 23 SIX WHO PASS BOY Won't it sour? MILKMAID Maybe. BOY Won't your mother scold you? MILKMAID Yes, of course; but I couldn't miss the behead- ing. BOY Will you take the sour milk home? MILKMAID Yes; and after my mother scolds me, I'll make it into nice cheese and sell it to the King's Cook, and then mother will forgive me. BOY (sniffing the pot) You'd better hurry. It's nearly mid-day. Don't you smell the lentils? MILKMAID The Headsman hasn't started yet. boy (giggling) He'd better hurry. MILKMAID They can't find the Queen. BOY (so innocently) Did she escape? MILKMAID Yes. BOY Are they hunting for her? MILKMAID Yes; and they've offered a big reward to the person who finds her. 24 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY How much? MILKMAID A pail of gold and a pair of finger rings. BOY That's a good deal. . . . With a pail of gold I could buy my mother a velvet dress and a silken kerchief and a bonnet made of cloth of gold — and I could buy myself a milk-white palfry. MILKMAID And you'd never have to work again. BOY But she's such a gentle queen. Where are they hunting her? MILKMAID Everywhere. BOY Everywhere ! . . . Maybe she's waiting at the beheading block! MILKMAID Silly goose ! She wouldn't try to escape this way. She'd go in the opposite direction. BOY Do people always run in the opposite direction? MILKMAID Of course; everybody knows that. BOY I wish I could go. MILKMAID Come on. BOY Um — uh. The lentils might burn. 25 SIX WHO PASS MILKMAID Pour some cold water on them. BOY Um — huh. I promised I wouldn't leave the house. MILKMAID Oh, it will be wonderful I BOY The Mime will be there. MILKMAID The one with the long cloak and the golden balls? BOY Um — huh. MILKMAID Ooh! BOY How did you know? MILKMAID I saw him on the way to the market one day — and when my mother wasn't looking at me I gave him a farthing. BOY Is he a good juggler? MILKMAID He's magic ! Why, he can throw three golden balls in the air and catch them with one hand and then keep them floating in the air in a circle. BOY And can he balance a weathervane on his nose while it's turning? 26 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL MILKMAID Yes; and he can balance an egg on the end of a long stick that is balanced on his chin ! BOY Oh — I wish I could see him. (Looks at the pot to see if the lentils are done.) MILKMAID Come on! BOY Well — (Begins to weaken, and just as he is about to start, the Butterfly flits past him into the Queen's room.) MILKMAID Oh — what a lovely butterfly! BOY No — No — I can't go. But you had better hurry. MILKMAID Well, I'll try to catch the butterfly first. BOY Oh, no; you mustn't touch that butterfly. MILKMAID Why? BOY Because — because he's my friend. MILKMAID Silly! BOY He i5 a good friend ; and he's the wisest butter- fly in the world. MILKMAID What can he do? 27 SIX WHO PASS BOY He can almost talk. MILKMAID Almost? . . . Oh, I know. I'm a goose. You want to play a trick on me so I'll miss the beheading. BOY You'd better hurry. MILKMAID I wish you'd come. boy (sadly) I can't. I've a duty to perform. MILKMAID Aren't duties always hard? (Both sigh. She takes up her milk pail.) boy What are you going to do with that pail? MILKMAID I'm going to stand on it. . . , Good-bye. (She goes out.) BOY Good-bye. (He watches for a moment, then goes to the pot and tries the lentils; then whis- pers through door to the Queen) The lentils are getting soft. (There is a fumbling in the passage and a voice is heard) Help the blind ! Help the blind! (The Butterfly returns to the top of the cupboard. The Blindman appears at the door.) PROLOGUE He's blind, but he'll show you how the blind can see. 28 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BLINDMAN (sniffing) Cooking lentils? BOY Yes. BLINDMAN Cook, which way to the beheading? BOY Keep straight ahead — the way you are going, old man. BLINDMAN Don't you want to take me with you? BOY I'm not going. BLINDMAN Not going to the beheading? BOY No; I have to cook the lentils. BLINDMAN Come on and go with me and maybe I'll give you a farthing. BOY I can't. BLINDMAN Yes, you can. Who else is here? BOY (swallozving — it's hard to fib) No one. BLINDMAN Can't you run away ? Your mother won't know you've gone. BOY It's my duty to stay here. 29 SIX WHO PASS BLINDMAN It's your duty to help a poor blindman, little boy. BOY Are you stone blind? BLINDMAN Yes. BOY Then how did you know I was a little boy? BLINDMAN Because you sound like a little boy. BOY Well, if you're stone blind, why do you want to go to the beheading? BLINDMAN I can see with my ears. BOY Aw — BLINDMAN Didn't I know you were a little boy? BOY Yes, but you had to guess twice. First you thought I was a cook. BLINDMAN Well, aren't you cooking lentils ? BOY Yes; but you can smell them. BLINDMAN Well, I see with my nose, too. BOY Aw — how can you see with your nose? 30 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BLINDMAN If you give me some bread I'll show you. BOY I can't give you any bread; but I'll give you some raw lentils. BLINDMAN All right. Give me lentils. BOY . . . I'll put them by the pot. Ready! BLINDMAN All right. (Sniffs. Walks to the pot and gets lentils and puts them in an old pouch) Isn't that seeing with my nose ? BOY H'm! (In wonder) Now see with your ears and I'll give you some more lentils. BLINDMAN All right. Speak. (The Boy gets behind the stool and speaks. The Blindman goes toward him. The Boy moves around stealthily.) BLINDMAN You're cheating. You've moved. BOY (jumping up on the bench) Well, where am I ? BLINDMAN You're standing on something. BOY How did you guess it? BLINDMAN I didn't guess it. I know it. BOY Why can't I do that? 3i SIX WHO PASS BLINDMAN You can if you try; but it takes practice. BOY Can you see the door now? BLINDMAN No. I've turned around too many times. Be- sides, there is more than one doer. BOY Oh — m-m. . . . You aren't really blind! BLINDMAN Blind people learn to use what they have. Once I, too, could see with my eyes. BOY Just like me ? BLINDMAN Yes. And then I didn't take the trouble to see with my ears and my nose and my fingers — after I became blind I had to learn. . . . Why, I can tell whether a man who passes me at the palace gate is a poor man or a noble or a mer- chant. BOY How can you do that? BLINDMAN By the sound of the step. BOY Aw — how can you do that? BLINDMAN Shut your eyes and try it. BOY Well, I know what you are. That would be easy. 32 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BLINDMAN I'll pretend I'm somebody else. (Feels with his stick; touches bench. Feels around again.) BOY Why are you doing that? BLINDMAN To see how far I can walk without bumping into something. BOY Urn— BLINDMAN Ready? BOY (hides face in hands) Yes. BLINDMAN Don't peep. (The Boy tries hard not to.) BOY I won't. BLINDMAN All ready (shuffles like a commoner) Who was it? BOY A poor man. BLINDMAN See how easy? BOY I could see him as plain as if I had my eyes open. . . . Now try me again. BLINDMAN Ready? BOY All right. (The Blindman seems to grow in 33 SIX WHO PASS height. His face is filled with a rare brightness. He steadies himself a moment and then walks magnificently down the room.) boy (in beautiful wonder) A noble ! I could see him. BLINDMAN All you have to do is try. BOY I always thought it was terrible to be blind. BLINDMAN Sometimes it is. BOY But I thought everything was black. BLINDMAN It used to be until I taught myself how to see. BOY Why is it terrible sometimes? BLINDMAN Because I cannot help the poor who need help. If I had money 1 could feed the hungry and clothe the poor little beggar children in winter ! BOY Would a pail of gold and a pair of finger rings help you feed the hungry and clothe the poor little beggar children in winter? BLINDMAN A pail of gold! I have dreamed of what I might do with so much wealth ! BOY I can get a pail of gold if I break a promise. BLINDMAN Would you break a promise? 34 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY . . . No — but — No! BLINDMAN Of course you wouldn't. BOY I couldn't break, a promise for two pails of gold. BLINDMAN Nor twenty-two, little boy. BOY When you walked like a noble I saw a beautiful man behind my eyes with a crown of gold. BLINDMAN If you broke a promise for a pail of gold and two finger rings you would never see a beautiful noble with a crown of gold when you closed your eyes. . . . BOY Can blind men see beautiful things even when it's rainy? BLINDMAN Blindmen can always see beautiful things if they try. Clouds and rain are beautiful to me, and when I get wet I think of the sunshine. I saw sunshine with my eyes when I was a little boy. Now I see it with my whole body when it warms me. I saw rain with my eyes when I was a little boy. Now I see it with my hands when it falls on them — drop — drop — drop — dropity — dropity — and I love it because it makes the lentils grow. BOY I never thought of that. Rain makes me stay indoors, and I never like it except in June. 3S SIX WHO PASS BLINDMAN You donjt have to stay in for long. BOY Can blind men see beautiful things in a behead- ing? BLINDMAN No. But I must be there with the crowd. I shall tell stories to the people and perhaps they will give me food or money. BOY Can't you stay and tell me stories? BLINDMAN No. I must be on my way. . . . If I do not see the beheading I cannot tell about it when I meet someone who was not there.- Oh, I shall make a thrilling tale of it. BOY Tell it to me when you come back. BLINDMAN If you give me some cooked lentils. BOY I'll save you some.- BLINDMAN Are the lentils nearly doner BOY Half. BLINDMAN I must be on my way then. . . . Good-bye. (Starting to go in the wrong direction.) BOY Here's the door. BLINDMAN Thank you, little boy. . . . Don't forget to 36 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL see with your ears and nose and fingers. ( The Blindman goes out.) BOY I won't. BLINDMAN Good-bye. BOY Good-bye. ( The Boy covers his eyes and tries to see with his ears and his nose) It's easier with the ears. (Singing is heard. Enter the Ballad-Singer.) SINGER Hello ! BOY Hello ! SINGER How are you? BOY I'm very well. SINGER That's good. BOY Thank you. SINGER Cooking? BOY Yes. SINGER (coming into room) Something good? BOY Lentils. SINGER Give me some? 37 SIX WHO PASS BOY They aren't done. SINGER Nearly. I can smell them. BOY Do you like them? SINGER When I'm hungry. BOY Are you hungry now? SINGER I'm always hungry. (They laugh.) BOY Were you singing? SINGER Yes. BOY Do you like to sing? SINGER When I get something for my ballads. BOY Are you a ballad-singer? SINGER Yes. BOY Sing one for me? SINGER Give me some lentils? BOY I'll give you some raw lentils. SINGER I want some of the cooked ones. 38 , WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY They aren't done. SINGER Are they nearly done? BOY More than half. SINGER I like them that way. BOY All right. Sing me a ballad. SINGER Well, give me the lentils first. BOY Oh, no; sing the ballad first. SINGER No, sir; give me the lentils first. BOY That isn't fair. SINGER Why not ? After I sing to you maybe you won't pay me. BOY Yes, I will. SINGER Then why not pay me first? BOY You might not sing. SINGER (laughing) Yes, I will. boy (laughing) Well, I'll give you some lentils at the end of each verse. 39 SIX WHO PASS SINGER That's a bargain. BOY Sing. singer (sings one line) Six stalwart sons the miller had — Give me the lentils. BOY Finish that verse. SINGER I did finish it. BOY Now that's not fair. You only sang a line. SINGER Well, a line's a verse. BOY (with a gesture that indicates how long a verse ought to be) I meant a whole verse. SINGER (mimicking the gesture) A line's a whole verse. BOY Oh, now, be fair; I mean a whole , whole verse. SINGER You mean a stanza. BOY I always heard it called a verse. SINGER Well, keep to the bargain. I sang a verse. Give me some lentils. BOY (rising and taking a very few lentils on his spoon) Next time I mean a stanza. . . . 40 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL Here are some lentils. (The Ballad-Singer eyes the meager portion, cools it and eats.) SINGER Stingy. BOY Isn't that some lentils? singer (laughs) Well— BOY Now begin again. SINGER At the end of every stanza a spoonful of lentils. BOY I didn't say a spoonful. SINGER (starts to go) Very well, I won't sing a ballad. BOY All right. I'll give you a spoonful at the end of each — stanza. (He sits on the floor by the pot of lentils.) singer (sings) The Ballad of the Miller and his Six Sons Six stalwart sons the miller had — All brave and fair to see — He taught them each a worthy trade And they grew gallantly. Tara — da — da — da-da-da — da-da-da Tara — da — da — da-de — da-dee. Give me some lentils. BOY Here. . . . Hurry up. 4i SIX WHO PASS SINGER (sings) The first was John of the dimpled chin — And a fist of iron had he — He learned to wield the broadsword well And turned to soldiery. Tara — da — da, etc. BOY Please! Please don't stop! SINGER Keep to the bargain. BOY Here, take two spoonfuls and finish without stopping. SINGER (sings rest of ballad) The second son was christened Hugh — And curly locks had he — He learned to use the tabor and lute And turned to minstrelsy. Tara — da — da, etc. The third was James of the gentle ways, And speech of gold had he — He learned his psalms and learned his creed And turned to simony. Tara — da — da, etc. The fourth was Dick of the hazel eye, And a steady hand had he — With a hammer and saw and a chest of tools He turned to carpentry. Tara — da — da, etc. 42 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL The fifth was Ned of the velvet tread, And feather fingers had he — He used his gifts in a naughty way And turned to burglary. Tara — da — da, etc. The sixth was Robin, surnamed the Rare — For always young was he — He learned the joy of this sunny world And turned to poetry. Tara — da — da, etc. The miller approached three score and ten — A happy man was he — His five good sons and the one who was bad All turned to gallantry. Tara — da — da, etc. BOY Sing me another. SINGER A spoonful at the end of every stanza. BOY Don't stop after you begin. SINGER Pay me in advance. BOY I suppose I'll have to. (He feeds the Ballad- Singer.) SINGER (sings second ballad) The Ballad of the Three Little Pigs Two little pigs were pink — pink — pink — And one little pig was black — black — The three little pigs were very good friends, But one little pig was black — black. 43 SIX WHO PASS Three little pigs would play — play — play — But one little pig was black — black — And three little pigs would have a jolly time, Though one little pig was black — black. Three little pigs soon grew — grew — grew — And one little pig was black — black. The three little pigs became fat hogs — And one fat hog was black — black. The two fat hogs were pink — pink — pink — And one fat hog was black — black. The three fat hogs all made good ham, Though one fat hog was black — black. BOY Sing me another. SINGER I can't. I'm tired. BOY Are you going to sing those at the beheading? SINGER What beheading? BOY At the Queen's beheading? SINGER Where? BOY Over there. SINGER When? BOY To-day. 44 6D C 1 CQ 6 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL SINGER I must be going. Certainly I'll sing there, and I'll take up a collection. BOY It's going to be before the King's four clocks strike twelve. SINGER It's nearly time now. If I can collect a piece of gold I can buy a vermilion robe and sing at the King's court. BOY I could collect a pail of gold and two finger rings and sit at the feet of the King if I'd break a promise. SINGER Perhaps you will. BOY Would you? SINGER I'd rather sing along the highway all my life. It is better to dream of a vermilion robe than to have one that is not honestly got. BOY The Blindman said something like that. SINGER Who said what? BOY The Blindman said if I broke a promise I'd never again see a beautiful noble with a golden crown when I closed my eyes. SINGER He was right. 45 SIX WHO PASS BOY When you get your vermilion robe will you let me see it? SINGER That I will. . . . Good-bye. Good-bye. (Singer goes out.) BOY (hums a snatch of the ballads.) (The Headsman steps into the door and plants his axe beside him for an impressive picture. The Boy turns and starts in terror.) HEADSMAN Have you seen the Queen? BOY Sir? HEADSMAN Have you seen the Queen? BOY How should I, sir? I've been cooking the len- tils. HEADSMAN She is here ! EOY How — could — she — be — here, sir? HEADSMAN Well, if she isn't here, where is she? BOY (relieved) I don't know where she is if she isn't here, sir. HEADSMAN She has too much sense to hide so near the castle and on the short cut to the headsman's block. . . . Do you know who I am ? 46 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY I think so — sir. HEADSMAN Think? Don't you know? BOY Yes, sir. HEADSMAN Who am I, then? BOY You're the Dreadful Headsman. HEADSMAN I am the winder of the King's four clocks, and when I am needed I am the best headsman in three kingdoms. And this is my axe. BOY Is it sharp? HEADSMAN It will split a hare in two. (Runs finger near blade meaningly.) BOY Oh! HEADSMAN A hare in two ! BOY Would you really cut off the Queen's head? HEADSMAN That's my business — to cut off heads — and the nobler the head, the better my business. BOY She's such a nice queen. HEADSMAN Have you seen her? 47 SIX WHO PASS BOY Y — es, sir. HEADSMAN When? BOY One day — when I was boiling some lentils. HEADSMAN Did you see her neck? BOY Yes, sir. HEADSMAN Not much bigger than a hare. BOY (desperately friendly) Have you seen my knife? HEADSMAN (sharply) I'm talking about the Queen, and I'm going to talk about myself until I hear the King's trum- peter calling me to the beheading. BOY Yes, sir. (Edging between the bench and door of the room where the Queen is hidden.) HEADSMAN Sit down. BOY I'd rather stand, sir. HEADSMAN Sit down! And I'll tell you how I'm going to behead the Queen. BOY You can't behead her after the King's four clocks have struck twelve. ^ 4 8 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL HEADSMAN How did you know that? BOY (realizing his blunder) Well — HEADSMAN Nobody knows that except the royal family and people of the court. BOY A little — bird told — me. HEADSMAN Where is the little bird that I may cut its head off? BOY Don't hurt the little bird; but tell me how you are going to behead the Queen. HEADSMAN Well — (At the stool) This is the block. There's the Queen behind the iron gate. We'll say that door is the gate. (The Boy starts) And out there is the crowd. Now, I appear like this and walk up the steps. The crowd cheers, so I bow and show myself and my axe. (He bows elaborately three times and then poses for one magnificent moment) Then I walk over to the gate — BOY Don't go in there. That's my mother's room, and you might frighten her. HEADSMAN Who's in your mother's room? BOY She is. 49 SIX WHO PASS HEADSMAN Well, if she's in there, maybe she'd like to hear my story. BOY She's in bed. HEADSMAN Sick? (The Boy nods vigorously) All right. Well, I've bowed to the crowd and I start for the Queen — If you won't open the door, you pretend you're the Queen. BOY I don't want to be the Queen. HEADSMAN Come on and pretend. I walk up to the gate — so, and open it, and then I say, "Your Majesty, I'm going to cut off your head," and she bows — Bow — (The Boy bows) And then I say, "Are you ready?" and she says, "I am ready." Then I blindfold her — BOY Now, don't blindfold me, sir! HEADSMAN I'm showing you how it's done. BOY But if you blindfold me I can't see you when you do it. HEADSMAN (admitting the point) All right. . . . Then I blindfold her and I lead her to the block and I say, "Have you made your peace with Heaven?" and she says, "Yes." . . . 5° WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL BOY If you won't tell me any more I'll give you my knife. HEADSMAN Aren't you interested? BOY Yes; but your axe is so sharp, and it might slip. HEADSMAN Sharp? It will cut a hair in two; but I know how to handle it. . . . BOY How do you spell hair? HEADSMAN Either way. . . . Come on. . . . (The Boy reluctantly falls into the picture again) And then. . . . (Raising his axe) And then. (Headsman sees the Butterfly) And then. . . . How-d'-ye-do, Butterfly (The Boy runs to the pot unnoticed by the Heads- man.) BOY Lentils, lentils, boil the time away, That my good queen may live to-day. (The Headsman and the Butterfly are having quite a game. Suddenly the great clock begins to strike and the two next larger follow slowly. The Headsman rushes to the back door with his axe.) HEADSMAN Why doesn't the trumpeter blow his call ? (The Boy counts the strokes of the clock, and as the third clock strikes twelve he rushes to the door of the bedroom.) 51 SIX WHO PASS BOY Queen ! Queen ! It's mid-day ! HEADSMAN Queen — Queen — (He strides to the bedroom and drags the Queen out) The little clock hasn't struck yet ! (He pulls the Queen toward the rear door and shouts) Here ! Here ! Don't let the little clock strike ! I've won the pail of gold! ( The Boy has set the bench in the door- way so that the Headsman stumbles. The But- terfly keeps flying against the Headsman's nose, which makes him sneeze.) BOY No one heard you ! QUEEN Let me go ! Let me go ! HEADSMAN (sneezing as only a headsman can) The Queen ! The Queen! (The little clock begins to strike. The Boy counts eagerly, one, two, three, etc. Between strokes the Headsman sneezes and shouts) The Queen! The Queen! (At the fifth stroke the Headsman falls on his knees. The Queen becomes regal, her foot on his neck. The Boy kneels at her side.) QUEEN Base villain ! According to the law I am saved ! But you are doomed. As Winder of the King's four clocks the law commands that you be de- capitated because the four clocks did not strike together. Do you know that law? HEADSMAN Oh, Lady, I do; but I did but do my duty. I 52 WHILE THE LENTILS BOIL was sharpening my axe this morning and I couldn't wind the clocks. Intercede for me. QUEEN It is useless. BOY Is there any other headsman? QUEEN The law says the Chief Headsman must behead the Chief Winder of the King's four clocks. BOY Can the Dreadful Headsman behead himself? QUEEN Aye, there's the difficulty. HEADSMAN Oh, your Majesty, pardon me! BOY Yes, pardon him. QUEEN On one condition : He is to give his axe to the museum and devote all his old age to the care of the King's four clocks. . . . For myself, I shall pass a law requiring the ladies of the court to wear no jewels. So, if the King's aunt can wear no rings, she assuredly cannot have a ring- toe, and hereafter I may step where I please. . . . Sir Headsman, lead the way. . . . And now, my little boy, to you I grant every Friday afternoon an hour's sport with the Mime; a spotted cow for the little Milkmaid; a cushion and a canopy at the palace gate for the Blindman; a vermilion cloak for the Ballad- Singer; a velvet gown, a silken kerchief, and a cloth-of-gold bonnet for your mother, and for 53 SIX WHO PASS yourself a milk-white palfry, two pails of gold, two finger rings, a castle, and a sword. . . . Arise, Sir Little-Boy. . . . Your arm. BOY May I take my knife, your Majesty? QUEEN That you may. (He gets the knife and returns to her. She lays her hand on his arm) Sir Headsman, announce our coming. HEADSMAN Make way — make way for her Majesty the Queen. queen (correcting) And Sir Little-Boy. headsman What's his other name, your Majesty? BOY (whispering with the wonder of it all) Davie. QUEEN (to the Headsman) Davie. HEADSMAN Make way — make way for her Majesty the Queen and Sir Davie Little-Boy. (They go out. Immediately the Boy returns and gets the pot of lentils and runs after the Queen as The Curtains Close.) 54 Stewart Kidd Dramatic Anthologies Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Edited by FRANK SHAY and PIERRE LOVING THIS volume contains FIFTY REPRESENTATIVE ONE-ACT PLAYS of the MODERN THEATER, chosen from the dramatic works of con- temporary writers all over the world and is the second volume in the Stewart Kidd Dramatic Anthologies, the first being European Theories of the Drama, by Barrett H. Clark, which has been so enthusiastically received. The editors have scrupulously sifted countless plays and have selected the best available in English. One-half the plays have never before been pub- lished in book form; thirty-one are no longer available in any other edition. The work satisfies a long-felt want for a handy collection of the choicest plays produced by the art theaters all over the world. It is a complete reper- tory for a little theater, a volume for the study of the modern drama, a rep- resentative collection of the world's best short plays. CONTENTS AUSTRIA Schnitzler (Arthur) — Literature BELGIUM Maeterlinck (Maurice)— The Intruder BOLIVIA More (Federico) — Interlude FRANCE Ancey (George) — M. Lamblin Porto-Riche (Georges) — Francoises Luck GERMANY Ettinger (Karl) — Altruism von Hofmannsthal (Hugo) — Madonna Dia- nora Wedekind (Frank)— The Tenor GREAT BRITAIN Bennett (Arnold) — A Good Woman Calderon (George) — The Little Stone House. Cannan (Gilbert) — Mary's Wedding Dowson (Ernest) — The Pierrot of the Min- ute. Ellis (Mrs. Havelock) — The Subjection of Kezia Hankin (St. John) — The Constant Lover INDIA Mukerji (Dhan Gopal) — The Judgment of Indra IRELAND Gregory (Lady) — The Workhouse Ward HOLLAND Speenhoff (J. H.) — Louise HUNGARY Biro (Lajos) — The Grandmother ITALY Giocosa (Giuseppe) — The Rights of the Soul RUSSIA Andreyev (Leonid) — Love of One's Neigh- bor Tchekoff (Anton) — The Boor SPAIN Benevente (Jacinto) — His Widow's Hus- band Quinteros (Serafina and Joaquin Alverez) — A Sunny Morning SWEDEN Strindberg (August) — The Creditor Wied (Gustave) — Autumn Fires UNITED STATES Beach (Lewis) — Brothers Cowan (Sada) — In the Morgue Crocker (Bosworth) — The Baby Carriage Cronyn (George W.) — A Death in Fever Flat Davies (Mary Carolyn) — The Slave with Two Faces Day (Frederick L.)— The Slump Planner (Hildegard) — Mansions Glaspell (Susan)— Trifles Gerstenberg (Alice) — The Pot Boiler Helburn (Theresa)— Enter the Hero Hudson (Holland)— The Shepherd in the Distance Kemp (Harry) — Boccaccio's Untold Tale Langner (Lawrence) — Another Way Out MacMillan (Mary) — The Shadowed Star Millay (Edna St. Vincent) — Aro da Capo Moeller (Philip) — Helena's Husband O'Neill (Eugene) — He Stevens (Thomas Wood) — The Nursery Maid of Heaven Stevens (Wallace) — Three Travelers Watch a Sunrise Tompkins (Frank G.) — Sham Walker (Stuart)— The Medicine Show Wellman (Rita)— For All Time Wilde (Percival) — The Finger of God YIDDISH Ash (Sholom)— Night Pinski (David) — Forgotten Souls Large Svo, 585 pages. Net, $5.00 Send for Complete Dramatic Catalogue STEWART PUBLISHERS, KIDD COMPANY CINCINNATI, U. S. A. MORE SHORT PLAYS By MARY MacMILLAN Plays that act well may read well. Miss MacMillan's Plays are good reading. Nor is literary excellence a detriment to dramatic performance. This volume contains eight Plays: His Second Girl. One-act comedy, just before the Civil War. Interior, 45 minutes. Three women, three men. At the Church Door. Fantastic farce, one act, 10 to 30 minutes. Interior. Present. Two women, two men. Honey. Four short acts. Present, in the southern mountains. Same interior cabin scene throughout. Three women, one man, two girls. The Dress Rehearsal of Hamlet. One-act costume farce. Present. Interior. Forty-five minutes. Ten women taking men's parts. The Pioneers. Five very short acts. 1791 in Middle-West. Interior. Four men, five women, five children, five Indians. In Mendelesia, Part I. Costume play, Middle Ages. Interior. Thirty minutes or more. Four women, one man-servant. In Mendelesia, Part II. Modern realism of same plot. One act. Present. Interior. Thirty minutes. Four women, one maid-servant. The Dryad. Fantasy in free verse, one act. Thirty minutes. Outdoors. Two women, one man. Present. These plays, as well as SHORT PLAYS, have been pre- sented by clubs and schools in Boston, New York, Buffalo, Detroit, Cleveland, New Orleans, San Francisco, etc., and by the Portmanteau Theatre, the Chicago Art Institute Theatre, the Denver Little Art Theatre, at Carmel-by-the-Sea in California, etc. Handsomely bound and uniform with S. & K. Dramatic Series. i2mo. Cloth. Net, $2.50; tf Turkey Morocco, Net, $8.50. STEWART Publishers & KIDD COMPANY Cincinnati, U. S. A. SHORT PLAYS By MARY MacMILLAN To fill a long-felt want. All have been successfully pre- sented. Suitable for Women's Clubs, Girls' Schools, etc. While elaborate enough for big presentation, they may be given very simply. This volume contains ten Plays: The Shadowed Star has six women, one boy; may all be taken by women. Time, present. Scene, in a tenement Christmas Eve. One act, 45 minutes. The Ring. Costume play. Time, days of Shakespeare. Three women, seven men. Scene, interior. One act, 45 minutes. The Rose. One woman, two men. Time, Elizabethan. Scene, castle interior. One act, 30 minutes. Song introduced. Luck. Four short acts. Time, present. Interior scene. Seven women, six men. Comedy. Entre' Acte. Costume play. Time, present. Scene, interior. Two women, one man. Contains a song. One act. A Woman s a Woman for A' That. Time, present. Interior scene. One act, 45 minutes. Three women, two men. Comedy. A Fan and Two Candlesticks. Costume play, Colonial times. Scene, interior. Two men, one woman. One act, 20 to 30 minutes. Written in rhymed couplets. A Modern Masque. Time, present. Scene, outdoors. Fan- tastic, written in prose and verse. Costume play in one act, 30 minutes or more. Four women, three men. The Futurists. One-act farce, of the first woman's club of the early eighties. Interior. Forty-five minutes Eight women. The Gate of Wishes. One-act fantasy. Outdoors. Half hour. One girl, one man. Singing voices of fairies. Handsomely bound and uniform with S. & K. Dramatic Series. i2mo. Cloth, Net, $2.50; % Turkey Morocco, Net, $8.50. STEWART & KIDD COMPANY Publishers Cincinnati, U. S. A. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 1 1 II III II I III 018 360 477 6 STEWART KIDD DRAMATIC PUBLICATIONS The Truth About the Theater Anonymous $1.25 European Theories of the Drama Barrett H. Clark 5.00 ContemporaryFrenchDramatists Barrett H. Clark 2.50 Four Plays of the Free Theater . . Barrett H. Clark 2.50 The Provincetown Plays Geo. Cram Cook & Frank Shay, Editors 2.50 The Two Cromwells Liddell DeLesseline 1.50 Plays and Players Walter Prichard Eaton 3.00 The Antigone of Sophocles Prof. Jos. Edward Harry 1.25 The Changing Drama Archibald Henderson 2.50 European Dramatists Archibald Henderson 3.00 George Bernard Shaw: His Life and Works A rchibald Henderson 7.50 Fifty Contemporary One Act Plays Compiled by Pierre Loving & Frank Shay 5.00 Short Plays Mary MacMillan 2.50 More Short Plays Mary MacMillan 2.50 The Gift Margaret Douglas Rogers 1.00 Comedies of Words and Other Plays Arthur Schnitzler, Translated by Pierre Loving 2.50 Lucky Pehr August Strindberg 2.50 Translated by Velma Swanston Howard Easter August Strindberg 2.50 Translated by Velma Swanston Howard The Hamlet Problem and its Solution EmersonV enable 1.50 Portmanteau Plays Stuart Walker, net 2.50 More Portmanteau Plays . . . .Stuart Walker, net 2.50 Portmanteau Adaptations. . . Stuart Walker, net 2.50 Stewart Kidd Modern Plays Mansions Hildegarde Flanner .50 The Shepherd in the Distance. .Holland Hudson .50 Hearts to Mend H. A. Overstreet .50 Sham Frank G. Tompkins .50 Six Who Pass While the Lentils Boil Stuart Walker .50 Others to Follow