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THE NANTUCKET 
 SCRAP BASKET 
 
 Being a Collection of Characteristic Stories and 
 
 Sayings of the People of the Town and 
 
 Island of Nantucket, Massachusetts. 
 
 Compiled, Edited and Arranged by 
 WILLIAM F/lVlACY and ROLAND B. HUSSEY 
 
 and published for the benefit of 
 
 THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF NANTUCKET' 
 
 NANTUCKET 
 
 THE INQUIRER AND MIRROR PRESS 
 
 1916 
 
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 .N.Z flAZ>7 
 
 Copyrighted 1916 
 
 by 
 William F. Macy 
 
 and 
 Roland B. Hussey. 
 
 JUN 20 1916 
 ©CI.A433438 
 
 *>^5 / , 
 
Dedicated 
 
 by the Compilers 
 
 to all 
 
 SONS AND DAUGHTERS 
 
 OF NANTUCKET. 
 
The House-top Walk. 
 
 Weather-stained and beaten and empty now, 
 
 The long, long vigil o'er; 
 No longer the ships go out to sea, 
 
 And the watchers wait no more; 
 Sailors and watchers are resting now, 
 
 Some on this sandy lea, 
 And some, with the sea-grass round them twined. 
 
 Are asleep in the wandering sea. 
 
 But it comes to me as I walk the street 
 
 Of the quaint, historic town, 
 A vision these scenes have looked upon 
 
 In the years so long agone— 
 A vision of struggle with storm and tide, 
 
 By the brave ones, called to roam 
 On the wrathful way of the ocean wide; 
 
 And a vision of love at home. 
 
 On the house-top walk in the morning gray, 
 
 And yet in the deepening night, 
 They watch for the flash of a homeward sail, 
 
 Or the swing of a mast-head light. 
 It is morn again, and again 'tis eve, 
 
 So the days drag one by one, 
 And the steadfast thing in the changeful scene 
 
 Is the love that will have its own. 
 
 So the hair grows gray, and the faces thin, 
 
 For the sea is empty still; 
 And the lonely years will have their way, 
 
 And God will have His will. 
 But the watch is o'er. What matters now 
 
 Though the ships drift endlessly, 
 Though some are asleep in the graveyard there, 
 
 And some in the wandering sea? 
 
 —Charles L. Thompson. 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 Chapter I— Introductory. 
 Chapter II — Sea Yarns and Sayings. 
 Chapter III— Whale Scraps. 
 Chapter IV — Anecdotes of the Quakers. 
 Chapter V— Some Nantucket Traits. 
 Chapter VI — Local "Characters." 
 Chapter VII — Burying Ground Aftermath. 
 Chapter VIII — Miscellaneous Scraps. 
 Chapter IX — Twentieth Century Anecdotes. 
 Chapter X— Expressions and Idioms. 
 Chapter XI — Flotsam and Jetsam. 
 
IX 
 
 Foreword. 
 
 3T has long been the wish of all those who are in- 
 terested in Nantucket's past that some of the many 
 good stories and anecdotes of the place and its people, 
 as well as some of the quaint and characteristic sayings 
 and idioms of the islanders, might be collected, ar- 
 ranged and preserved in some permanent form. 
 
 The publication of this book came about in a rath- 
 er curious way. Each of the two compilers, largely as 
 a labor of love, had long been collecting material of 
 this nature, with no very definite purpose in view other 
 than a vague hope that, at some time and in some way, 
 the collection might perhaps be printed. 
 
 In the fall of 1915 the one who resides at Nan- 
 tucket wrote to the other in Boston that he was mak- 
 ing such a collection, and asking that he might have 
 access to the "Scrap Basket," which has long been a 
 feature of the reunions of the Sons and Daughters of 
 Nantucket, held in Boston each autumn for the past 
 twenty-odd years. After some little correspondence it 
 was mutually agreed that the two should collaborate in 
 the preparation of a volume, which, using the material 
 contributed to the Scrap Basket since its inception, as 
 a nucleus, should be published for the benefit of the 
 Sons and Daughters, under the title of "The Nantuck- 
 
et Scrap Basket." The compilers have no apology to 
 offer for the result, but a few words of explanation 
 may not be amiss. 
 
 First, we recognize that the collection is far from 
 complete. The field is unlimited, and if every "scrap" 
 it would be possible to obtain were included, the first 
 old-time Nantucketer who read the book would be re- 
 minded of many others which the compilers had over- 
 looked or had never heard of. No attempt has been 
 made, therefore, to cover all the ground. On the con- 
 trary, the mass of available material has been carefully 
 sifted with the idea of eliminating much that, for one 
 reason or another, it was thought best not to use. We 
 admit that the sieve was of a rather large mesh, and 
 that much went through. Other compilers might have 
 left out much that we put in or put in much that we 
 have left out— either or both. We have used our best 
 judgment, having in mind the limitations of time, space 
 and expense. But the result is not final. A scrap 
 basket is never full; it may be added to or subtracted 
 from, and if the work meets with the approval and the 
 sale which, in our more sanguine moments, we hope for 
 it, future editions may contain many of the stories of 
 which some of those in this book may remind its read- 
 ers. We earnestly solicit such contributions for pres- 
 ervation and future use if opportunity offers. 
 
 To many Nantucketers we know that most of these 
 stories are far from new. Many have heard them 
 from childhood, till, by frequent repetition and long fa- 
 miliarity, they have lost point and become "chestnuts. " 
 To such we extend our sympathy, only hoping we may 
 
XI 
 
 have unearthed some few which they have not heard, 
 and suggesting that they skip the others, remembering, 
 however, that to many readers most of the stories will 
 be new. If the present generation fails to appreciate 
 our efforts, we must look to posterity, which cannot 
 fail to accord them some merit; for it is a fact that 
 these things are passing; much that was well worth 
 preserving has already been lost, perhaps irretrievably, 
 and it is high time some attempt was made to save 
 what is left. 
 
 Many of the stories must, perforce, lose much of 
 their flavor and point when separated from their proper 
 surroundings and set down in cold type; they need the 
 characteristic environment, the unique personality of 
 the narrator, and that vague something which we call 
 -atmosphere" to be appreciated at their full value. 
 Moreover, it is always a risk to bring loo many quaint 
 or amusing anecdotes together in a printed collection, 
 for many of them lose rather than gain by proximity 
 and contrast each with the other. But we take those 
 chances in the confidence that the reader's imagination 
 may supply some at least of what we realize is lack- 
 ing. 
 
 We have attempted to classify and arrange the 
 stories and sayings under different chapter headings, 
 but it will be readily understood that many of them 
 might appear under any one of several heads, since they 
 partake in some measure of the characteristics of each; 
 so we have considered, in this connection, what seemed 
 to be the salient or distinctive feature of each in ac- 
 
cording a place to it, and we trust the result will not 
 be altogether disappointing. 
 
 With this preliminary "slushing of the ways," 
 we launch our little venture, bearing in mind always 
 that "it takes one voyage to learn." 
 
 William F. Macy, 
 Roland B. Hussey. 
 
Chapter I. 
 
 INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 fERHAPS no better introduction to this collection of 
 Nantucket stories and sayings could be selected than 
 those oft-quoted (and quite as oft-misquoted) doggerel 
 verses which purport to set forth the characteristics of 
 some of the old island families. Their authorship, 
 though somewhat obscure, is usually attributed to one 
 Phineas Fanning, a man of some parts, who resided on 
 Nantucket in the latter half of the eighteenth century, 
 and who married, in 1777, Keziah, a daughter of John 
 and Keziah (Folger) Coffin. The verses are as follows: 
 
 The Rays and Russells coopers are; 
 
 The knowing Folgerslazy; 
 A learned Coleman very rare, 
 
 And scarce an honest* Hussey. 
 
 The Coffins noisy, fractious, loud, 
 
 The silent Gardners plodding, 
 The Mitchells good, the Barkers proud. 
 
 The Macys eat the pudding. 
 
 The Swains are swinish, clownish called; 
 
 The Barnards very civil; 
 The Starbucks they are loud to bawl; 
 
 The Pinkhams beat the devil. 
 
 *''Learned" in some versions. 
 
 Someone has said, "All generalizations are open 
 to criticism, even this one," and as these lines are sim- 
 
ply a series of generalizations, it is not to be presumed 
 that they were ever meant to be taken seriously. 
 
 We certainly know that members of the Ray and 
 Russell families followed other trades than that of 
 coopering, Folgers were not infrequently more industri- 
 ous than erudite, Colemans did sometimes acquire learn- 
 ing, Husseys were faithful in positions of trust, Coffins 
 were on occasion quiet and Gardners vociferous, and so 
 on through the list; though it may well be that the 
 most conspicuous representatives of the respective 
 names to the eye and mind of the rhymster at the time 
 answered to the descriptions he applied to the clan as a 
 whole. Perhaps the most comfortable assumption, for 
 those of us who claim descent from any of the families 
 enumerated, is that Phineas spoke truly only when he 
 ascribed virtues to our ancestors, while in all other cas- 
 es he was, let us sav, mistaken. 
 
 A well -authenticated story comes down to us from 
 early in the nineteenth century, wherein it is told that 
 a Nantucket woman, on her departure for a visit with 
 relatives in Brooklyn, was entrusted with a message 
 from an elderly island dame to a cousin of the latter 
 who lived "somewhere on Long Island." The parting 
 injunction was: "Thee has Pinkham enough in thee to 
 remember it, Coffin enough to relate it, and if the 
 Gardner does not predominate, Mehitable will hear from 
 me." This would seem to confirm at least the Coffin 
 reputation for loquacity and that of the Gardners for 
 reserve. As for the Pinkhams, since they "beat the 
 devil," they might well be credited with long memo- 
 
Apropos, we recall the deposition of a venerable 
 clergyman who spoke at one of the reunions of the Sons 
 and Daughters of Nantucket a few years ago, to the 
 effect that upon his betrothal to a fair daughter of the 
 island a half-century before, his prospective father-in- 
 law gave him warning of what he might expect in these 
 words: "My daughter, sir, has in her veins some of 
 the blood of all the original settlers of Nantucket, and 
 a queerer lot God never made!" 
 
 Dr. R. A. Douglas-Lithgow, author of "Nantuck- 
 et: A History," in an interesting chapter on "Quaint 
 Nantucketers," says: "They were a peculiar people, 
 differing from others in manners and customs from the 
 
 reaction of their environment It is 
 
 from them have been transmitted those bright attri- 
 butes of intelligence and character which distinguish 
 Nantucketers the world over, and which, often above 
 the average and occasionally tending toward eccentric- 
 ity, are always forcible and ever individualistic. . . 
 . . . Inherent humor is always a prominent char- 
 acteristic of a Nantucketer, and in almost every case 
 it is closely associated either with the sea or the gray 
 fraternity of Friends, and in accordance with the ele- 
 ments of both as blent in his character A 
 
 people distinguished by certain characteristics which 
 are apparent to every 'off islander' during five minutes' 
 conversation. Unconventional or eccentric might de- 
 scribe their idiosyncrasies, but quaintness is more ex- 
 pressive, and delightfully quaint they are. " 
 
 Many other writers and observers bear testimony 
 to these characteristics and peculiarities of the island- 
 
ers, and most visitors who come in contact with them 
 are similarly impressed; so that it would seem that 
 there must be "something in it," and that as a people 
 we are, consciously or unconsciously, a little wittier, 
 a little quainter, or, it may be, only a little queerer 
 than other folks. Perhaps the net result is a combina- 
 tion of all these qualities in varying proportions, inten- 
 sified and accentuated by our isolation from the rest of 
 the world, and by several generations of in-breeding — 
 both of which, as is well known, tend to the develop- 
 ment in a high degree of racial and family traits. 
 
 The attitude of the average Nantucketer toward 
 this charge, if such it can be called, is one of amuse- 
 ment and complacency, tinged perhaps at times with a 
 slight resentment that anyone should consider the mat- 
 ter worthy of note. Recognizing the fact that he 
 couldn't be different if he would, he is equally sure that 
 he wouldn't be if he could. And there's an end on't. 
 Certain it is, however, that Nantucket has produced 
 many unusual and unique "characters," some of great 
 and others of less ability, but in any case distinctive 
 and quite unlike any others to be met elsewhere. 
 
 As Dr. Lithgow, in the passage quoted, has ob- 
 served, the two strongest influences in shaping the char- 
 acter and habits of these people were the sea and the 
 Quaker religion. Either of these alone would have left 
 its mark, one which centuries could not altogether 
 obliterate. The two together, interacting one upon the 
 other, were bound to have a pronounced effect. It 
 could not have been otherwise. 
 
 As the sea was always here, while the Quakers 
 
came some time after the settlement, the influence of 
 Neptune antedates that of George Fox and his follow- 
 ers, so it may be well to trace first, through song and 
 story and quaint saying, this earlier and perhaps strong- 
 er—because more universal — of the two influences upon 
 the island character. The anecdotes and expressions 
 connected with the sea and ships are so many and so 
 varied that only a comparatively small part of the vast 
 store of available material can be utilized. The list 
 might be extended to make several such books as this, 
 but the compilers have selected those which seemed 
 most characteristic as well as most indigenous to our 
 island. 
 
8 
 
 Chapter II. 
 
 SEA YARNS AND SAYINGS. 
 
 g. HE very earliest Nantucket sea story of which we 
 1/ have any record actually antedates the settlement of 
 the island — by a few hours, at least. It is related that 
 when Thomas Macy, with his good wife Sarah and their 
 five children, made the famous voyage from Salisbury, 
 on Cape Ann, to Nantucket, in the autumn of 1659, 
 they encountered rough weather with heavy seas, and 
 that Sarah, becoming alarmed, begged her husband to 
 turn back — to which entreaty Goodman Thomas replied: 
 "Woman, go below and seek thy God! I fear not the 
 witches on earth or the devils in hell!" Which would 
 indicate that the ancestor of all the pudding-eaters was 
 himself something of a fire-eater. Probably none of 
 the party saw anything amusing in the remark, but 
 there was a certain grim humor in it which befits the 
 situation as we may picture it. 
 
 From that day to this Nantucketers have been pre- 
 eminently a sea-faring folk, and their main interests 
 have been in or on the ocean. Is it to be wondered at 
 then that their whole conversation savors of the sea 
 and ships? The habit is quite unconscious to most of 
 them — 'the nautical term3 having become so incorpo- 
 rated into their every-day speech that it never occurs to 
 
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them there is anything unusual about it. They never 
 pull, they always "haul"; they do not tie or fasten 
 anything, they "splice" or "belay" it; they do not 
 arrange or fix a thing, they "rig it" or "rig it up"; 
 they do not throw anything away, but "heave it over- 
 board" ; they "back and fill," they "luff," "tack," 
 "come about" and "square away" on any and all oc- 
 casions. Before engaging in any venture they first 
 "3ee if the coast is clear," then, as they proceed, they 
 "keep the weather eye peeled" and always "look out 
 for squalls. " Then they "sound it out" until they 
 "fathom" it. If they don't like "the lay of the land" 
 they "give it a wide berth " To be prudent is "to 
 keep an eye to windward," but to be over-prudent 
 to the point of timidity is to be "always reefed down 
 and standing on the inshore tack " To be reckless and 
 take too many chances is to "sail too close to the 
 wind," and to be caught off one's guard is to be "tak- 
 en aback," meaning to catch the wind on the wrong 
 side of the sails — an exasperating and sometimes peri- 
 lous experience for a mariner. Anything put by for a 
 rainy day, or any provision against adversity or disas- 
 ter is "an anchor to windward," while to be gay or 
 foolish is to "carry on" as an inexperienced or reck- 
 less navigator may carry on (sail). A telling rebuke 
 of extravagance is the phrase "two lamps burning and 
 no- ship at sea." To overcome or to best an opponent 
 is to "take the wind out of his sails." To be ready 
 for anything is to be "always on deck, " and so on ad 
 infinitum. 
 
 Some day, perhaps, if you are an old-time Nan- 
 
8 
 
 tucketer, you "tackle up" the horse and "all rigged 
 out" you "cruise down along." A "mate" recognizes 
 you "by the cut of your jib," and you are "hailed" 
 with the query, "where you bound?" Replying that 
 you are "bound to the south 'ard" or to the "east'ard, " 
 as the case may be, you are urged to "heave to" or to 
 "come alongside." Complying with the request, you 
 are urged to "drop anchor," and to "come aboard and 
 have a gam"; so you "make fast" and visit for a 
 while, till it's time to "heave your anchor short" or 
 "top up your boom," and "get under way" for the 
 next "port." 
 
 So the conversation goes, not always with the nau- 
 ticalisms as thick as in the samples given, but always 
 with the salty flavor of the sea. Less now than for- 
 merly, perhaps, for the times are changing; but much 
 of it lingers yet in the speech of the older generation. 
 Some of the old expressions are rarely heard nowadays. 
 In former times a Nantucket mother told her children 
 to "splice their patience," and if she went out, one of 
 the older ones had to "tend the kitchen halyards" in 
 her absence. 
 
 Of a light-minded person or one who didn't amount 
 to much, they would say, "Well I guess he'd come over 
 the bar without camels," while the expression applied 
 to an absolutely useless fellow, "he ain't good enough 
 even to take in slack," explains itself. An ill-fitting 
 garment was said to "fit like a purser's shirt on a 
 hand-spike." "God made the food, but the devil made 
 the cook" is a sailor's phrase, often borrowed to de- 
 scribe a poor cook ashore ; and the expression "we must^ 
 
take it as it comes from the cook" is, perhaps, another 
 form of the same idea. 
 
 A certain Nantucket Quaker mother once denied 
 that she ever used these nautical phrases, and told her 
 children to remind her if they ever caught her doing it. 
 The very next morning she gave one of them some eggs 
 to leave at the house of a relative on the way to school 
 with the words: "Take these into Cousin Phebe's, and 
 tell her I think this squares the yards with us; and thee 
 must scud, for it's almost school time." 
 
 Of course not all these expressions are peculiar to 
 Nantucket. Many of them are heard elsewhere along 
 the coast, and even far inland, and many of them, in- 
 deed, have become so much a part of the language that 
 they are not recognized as nautical phrases at all. Of 
 such are several already given— notably such terms as 
 "taken aback," to "carry on" or "the lay of the 
 land" and many others, such as main-stay, bulwark, 
 chock full, etc. ; but even of these, when their sense is 
 grasped ana\ understood, it must be admitted that their 
 origin is obvious. Even the very common word "land- 
 mark," is a sailor's term, meaning a mark on the land 
 by which to steer or lay a course. Others not recog- 
 nizable at all, except by the initiated, are constantly 
 used. "Al" or "A No. 1" originated in the classifi- 
 cation of wooden ships, being the highest grade in 
 Lloyd's Register. Even more surprising, perhaps, will 
 be the statement that the term "bitter end" is a very 
 technical nautical phrase, that being the sailor's name 
 for that part of the cable which is abaft the windlass 
 bitts; so when the cable is let out to the bitter end, 
 
10 
 
 that is as far as it is possible for it to go; and it is 
 only in very deep water or when riding out a gale at 
 anchor that this occurs. 
 
 "To know the ropes" is obviously of nautical 
 origin. It is said there are only seven "ropes" on a 
 full-rigged ship. Everything else which might be tak- 
 en for a rope by a land- lubber goes by some other name, 
 as halyards, clewlines, earrings, garnets, sheets, tacks, 
 stays, buntlines, gaskets, etc., to mention only a few. 
 So that to pick the seven "ropes" from all this 
 confusion of nomenclature requires an "A B"degree in 
 seamanship. 
 
 Another common expression, "fagged out, "or the 
 "fag end," is undoubtedly of nautical origin, that be- 
 ing the sailor's term for a rope which is untwisted and 
 frayed at the end. 
 
 Examples of this nature might be multiplied in- 
 definitely, and it is a fascinating study; but further 
 discussion of the subject is hardly within the scope of 
 this work, even if space permitted. Our language un- 
 doubtedly owes much to the sailors, who, while they 
 may not have actually coined manj of the words in 
 question, have probably preserved many very old ones 
 which would otherwise have passed into disuse and been 
 forgotten. 
 
 Some Odd Sayings. 
 
 "Give a woman all the advice in the world and 
 then she'll go ashore with both anchors on the bows" 
 expresses the contempt of an old Nantucket captain for 
 feminine judgment and capacity. 
 
11 
 
 "The devil would have made a sailor if he'd ever 
 looked aloft" is said of or to a man who gets things 
 snarled aloft by not looking to see that everything is 
 clear; and the first thing he knows everything is "mops 
 and brooms." 
 
 "Nothing but hot water and ashes can be thrown 
 to windward" is told to the green-horn, who needs only 
 to try it once to learn the lesson. 
 
 Said of a gale off Cape Horn: "It blows so hard 
 it takes two men to hold one man's hair on." 
 
 Of a captain in a tight place, from which it would 
 seem next to impossible to extricate himself, the sailors 
 were wont to say: "The old man's 'twixt Heaven and 
 hell without halyard or downhaul." 
 
 Of an incredible story: "That yarn doesn't square 
 by its lifts and braces." 
 
 Of an over-dressed woman, displaying flounce, ruffle 
 and furbelow: "Here she comes, stud'n's'ls set alow 
 and aloft." 
 
 Similarly, of a sailor home from sea, with his 
 pockets full of money rolling down Main street on his 
 sea- legs, with a girl on each arm: "There goes Jack, 
 rolling down to St. Helena, eighteen cloths in the low- 
 er stud'n's'l, and no change out of a dollar!" 
 
 An old skipper, still hale and hearty, being asked 
 why he quit going to sea, replied: "Well, I thought 
 when I got to the north'ard o' sixty, 'twas time to 
 heave to." 
 
12 
 
 Another, being invited out to dinner, announced on 
 his arrival that he was "ready to fall to any time," as 
 he had "come with a swep' hold." 
 
 "Hull Down." 
 
 Capt. Stephen Bailey, partaking of an oyster stew 
 at a church supper, called the waitress with, "See 
 here, my lass, can't ye get me some more oysters? 
 These here are a day's sail apart." 
 
 They Pumped. 
 
 The crew of a leaky ship, homeward bound for 
 Nantucket, had become so exhausted with work at the 
 pumps that they finally came aft and told the captain 
 they couldn't stand it any longer and would have to 
 give up. Expecting little short of death for such a fla- 
 grant breach of discipline aboard ship, their surprise 
 may be imagined when the captain blandly replied, "I 
 don't blame ye a bit, boys." Recovering from their 
 astonishment, they asked, "But what'll we do?" 
 "Pump and you'll float; quit and you'll sink," was the 
 response, "and I'll sink with ye!" 
 
 Evidently they pumped, or the story would have 
 remained untold. 
 
 After some such a voyage as this we can under- 
 stand how the sailor felt who said he was going to 
 shoulder an oar and march inland till somebody asked 
 him what that thing was he was carrying, and there he 
 would settle for the rest of his days. 
 
13 
 
 Orthography. 
 
 It was always the mate's duty to keep the log 
 aboard ship. When the good ship "Aurora" arrived 
 home the owners were somewhat puzzled on looking 
 over the log-book to read in a good round hand at the 
 top of each page: "Ship Ororor, Lat. — , Long. — " 
 Calling the mate in, they asked him what it meant. 
 4 'Why," said he, "that's the name o' the ship." 
 "But why do you spell it that way?" they asked. The 
 mate studied the letters for a while, then he burst out 
 with: "Well if O-r-o r-o-r don't spell Ororor, what in 
 does it spell?" 
 
 Worthy of Note. 
 
 Some good ones are claimed for Nantucket which 
 may have had their origin elsewhere. Of these, per- 
 haps, is that other log-book story concerning the mate 
 who, on returning from shore leave somewhat the worse 
 for liquor, forgot or was unable to write up the day's 
 log. Recovering the next day, he found the captain 
 had attended to that duty, adding at the end of the rec- 
 ord the words "Mate drunk today." The mate said 
 nothing, but at the close of the next day's record he 
 wrote "Captain sober today." 
 
 Another good one attributed to a Nantucket cap- 
 tain, but not vouched for as authentic, has been widely 
 quoted, even Mark Twain having related it in one of 
 his books. This is the story of 
 
 The Captain's Prescription. 
 
 Many old-time ships carried in the medicine chest 
 
14 
 
 what was called the "symptom book," in which were 
 detailed such symptoms as were likely to develop in 
 certain diseases. The diagnosis being thus disclosed, 
 instructions were given to administer such and such a 
 dose of remedy number so and so from the medicine 
 chest. One day a sick sailor having developed the 
 symptoms calling for number eleven, the captain found 
 to his dismay that the bottle supposed to contain that 
 number was empty. However, not to be stumped by a 
 little thing like that, he administered equal parts of 
 number six and number five to the amount of the dose 
 directed for number eleven. The story has it that the 
 man was pretty sick for a time, but that he finally 
 pulled through, though whether owing to a strong con- 
 stitution or to the captain's ingenuity, deponent sayeth 
 not. 
 
 A Question of Taste. 
 
 Perhaps no Nantucket story is more widely known 
 than the one celebrated in the verses about "Marm 
 Hackett's Garden," the correct version of which, the 
 islanders claim, is as follows: Captain Finney, of the 
 packet sloop Penelope, had long made it his boast that 
 he could tell where he was at any time by merely tasting 
 the material brought up on the sounding lead. Obed 
 Fisher, his mate, being more or less skeptical of his 
 skipper's ability in that direction and wishing to put it 
 to the test, took the lead one night during the old man's 
 watch below, and after greasing it well, rolled it in the 
 earth in a box which had contained some Nantucket- 
 grown turnips. Then, going below, he roused the cap- 
 
15 
 
 tain from a sound sleep and thrust the lead in his face, 
 exclaiming: "For the Lord's sake,Cap'n, tell us where 
 we be!" Touching his tongue to the lead, the skipper 
 ta3ted a moment, then jumped from his bunk with a 
 yell: "Great Scott! Obed, Nantucket's sunk, and 
 we're right over Dr. Tupper's hill." 
 
 Saved by a Song. 
 
 A stuttering foremast hand, seeing a shipmate fall 
 overboard, rushed aft to tell the captain, but so terrified 
 and excited was he that he could only mouth helplessly, 
 "B-b-b-b — !" "Sing it, man, " roared the captain, 
 "sing it!" Whereupon the sailor (for 'tis well known 
 that stutterers can always sing) chanted: 
 
 "Overboard goes Barnabas- 
 Half a mile astarn of us." 
 
 He Was Particular. 
 
 On a very rough passage across the Sound in the 
 old Island Home, some of the more timid passengers 
 besought an old Nantucket sailor man to tell them if 
 he thought there was any danger. "Wal," said the 
 old salt, puffing away at his pipe, "I've sailed on all 
 the oceans; (puff, puff) I've been in 'bout every kind o' 
 weather there is made, (puff, puff) and in 'bout every 
 kind of a craft, (puff) man and boy, I've follered the 
 sea for nigh fifty year, (puff, puff) but 'twould muckle 
 me dretful to go to bottom in an old tub like this." 
 
® 
 
 Chapter III. 
 
 WHALE SCRAPS. 
 
 II HERE is a tradition that one of our forefathers, 
 !/ with the gift of prophecy, standing one day on 
 what was later called Folly House Hill, said, pointing 
 to the great ocean to the south, where a school of 
 whales were disporting: "There is the green pasture 
 where your children's children will go for their bread." 
 
 A certain eminent New York barrister and jurist, 
 who spent his declining years on Nantucket, took a 
 great interest in the history of the whaling days. It is 
 related of him that he once said to an island friend : 
 "What has often puzzled me is how they managed to 
 carry fuel enough on those whale-ships to try out all 
 the oil!" It had never occurred to him, strange to 
 say, that the whale itself furnished the fuel to try out 
 its own blubber — a fact which has often been cited as 
 an excellent example of the secondary use of things. 
 As the oil was extracted, the "scraps" remaining were 
 skimmed off and fed to the fire under the try-pots, so 
 as long as there was any blubber to try out, there were 
 scraps to try it out with. 
 
 It has even been said that these scraps were pala- 
 table, if not exactly toothsome. The compilers are un- 
 able to vouch for the fact, but they offer a few samples 
 to the reader, who can judge for himself. 
 
17 
 
 The expression "gallied" is still current to some 
 extent among the older generation of Nantucketers. It 
 was a whaling term, meaning primarily, frightened and 
 excited, and withal uncertain what to do next. Its 
 nearest synonym, perhaps, is the modern word "rat- 
 tled," though it implies more of fear and fright than 
 the latter term. If a whale became "gallied" before 
 being struck, it required much more skill and caution 
 in the attack than would otherwise be the case. 
 
 There is a story of Capt. Stephen Bailey (the same 
 who demanded more oysters in the stew) to the effect 
 that he was once called as a witness in a case in court, 
 where Rufus Choate was counsel for the opposing liti- 
 gant. During a somewhat severe cross examination by 
 the great lawyer, the "Cap'n" suddenly remarked good 
 naturedly: "Do you know, Mr. Choate, you remind me 
 a good deal of a gallied whale." Somewhat surprised, 
 the lawyer asked, "Why, how's that, Captain?" 
 "Well, when you go down, there's no telling where 
 you're coming up again!" It is said that, for once, 
 the laugh was on Choate. 
 
 Another common term was "foopaw." This is 
 said to have been a corruption of the French faux pas. 
 and is believed to have been borrowed from the French 
 whalers. To "make a foopaw" of anything was to 
 make a mess of it, to bungle it — as when a harpooneer 
 missed his whale, or having succeeded in "getting an 
 iron in," to have the line foul or snarl. That was a 
 dangerous "foopaw" to make, as unless the line was 
 
18 
 
 cut quickly before the whale "ran" or "sounded," it 
 might mean death to one or more men in the boat. 
 
 As a case in point, the following quaintly interest- 
 ing passage from the log-book of Peter Folger, under a 
 date in the year 1761, is apropos: 
 
 July ye 29 we stowed away our whale. We saw 
 2 sloops to the Easterd,and we saw divers sparmocities 
 and we struck one and made her spout Blood. She 
 went down and their came a Snarl in the Toe-line and 
 catched John Meyrick and over sot the boat and we 
 never saw him afterwards. We saved the whale.'" 
 
 Of course the saying "There she blows!" would 
 be quoted on every possible occasion by a people famil- 
 iar with whaling, but the companion phrases, "there 
 she breaches!" (breaks water) and "there goes flukes" 
 (the tail) are less well known ashore, the last phrase 
 meaning to show the tail. 
 
 When an old whaleman was asked after his health, 
 his reply was, "Bung-up and bilge-free," referring to 
 the way casks are stowed in the hold of a ship; but if 
 you happen to hear one say that he was "pretty nigh 
 fin out," you can know that he has been very sick, or 
 that he thought he was, for that expresses the condi- 
 tion of a dying whale when he rolls over on his side, 
 showing a fin above water. The nearest counterpart to 
 this expression we have now is "about all in." 
 
 To "throw a tub to a whale" is to offer a sop to 
 keep any one quiet, said to be a survival of a very 
 ancient custom when approaching a sperm whale sus- 
 
19 
 
 pected of being ugly, or perhaps only "gallied," to 
 throw a cask overboard so it would drift toward the 
 whale to distract its attention while the boat was ap- 
 proaching. 
 
 "Put that butter within darting distance, will 
 you?" was the request of an old whaleman at the table, 
 bread in one hand and knife in the other, as he scanned 
 the intervening distance. 
 
 Tradition has it that no whaleman was expected to 
 ask the girl of his choice for her hand until he had 
 "killed his whale," and if she were of the better class 
 of the island maidens, the wedding day was not fixed 
 until he had won a command. "She married him be- 
 fore he had a ship" was a reproach which no high-born 
 damsel of spirit would venture to endure. 
 
 Of a particularly fine young woman it was said: 
 "she deserves an East India cap'n," the popular im- 
 pression being that such worthies were likely to be 
 more than ordinarily prosperous and successful. 
 
 Soon after the Revolution a Nantucket whaleship 
 visited London with a cargo of oil. The feeling 
 against the Colonies still ran high, and Yankees were 
 hardly persona grata in the old country as yet. As 
 one of the whaler's crew, who happened to be a hunch- 
 back, passed up the street from the wharf, a British 
 
20 
 
 tar, coming up behind him, gave him a sounding whack 
 on his hump with the jeering remark: "Oi s'y. Jack, 
 wot you got there, now?" "Bunker Hill and be d — d 
 to you!" was the tart reply of the Nantucketer. 
 
 Some Consolation. 
 
 An oft-quoted story, which has even been put into 
 verse, is that of the Nantucket whaling captain who re- 
 turned from a voyage of three or four years with a 
 "clean ship." When asked what luck he had had, he 
 replied cheerfully, "Well, we didn't get a whale, but 
 we had a d — d fine sail !" 
 
 It is quite evident that he was not a Quaker cap- 
 tain, like so many masters of Nantucket whaleships, 
 (and of whom more anon), but rather of the type re- 
 ferred to in the following anecdote. 
 
 A Reasonable Request. 
 
 A mate reported to "the old man," (as the cap- 
 tain of a whaler was always called, though he might be 
 the youngest man on the ship) that a "snorter and a 
 blower" had been sighted in the distance and asked 
 permission to lower and give chase. The weather being 
 rough, with a heavy sea running, the prudent captain 
 responded, "A snorter and a blower she may be, but I 
 don't see fitten for you to lower at present." The 
 whale remaining in sight, after a time the mate again 
 begged for the chance to try his luck. With an eye on 
 the weather, the captain replied: "//'she's a snorter 
 
 af 
 
21 
 
 and a blower, you may lower and be d — d to you, sir!" 
 The mate returning an hour or two later, with the cap- 
 tured whale in tow, the captain's change of sentiment 
 was most apparejit, when he greeted his mate as "a 
 scholard and a gentleman," with ''here's yer rum, and 
 here's yer see-gars, for you've earned 'em." But the 
 mate was on his dignity. "I don't want yer rum," said 
 he, "no no more your see-gars. All I want is a little 
 cy-vi\ity, and that of the commonest d— d sort!" 
 
 Hobson's Choice. 
 
 Illustrating the dependence of the island families 
 upon the Pacific ocean for a living, it was told that a 
 wife whose husband's earnings from his last voyage 
 had about disappeared, feeling the pinch of poverty, and 
 noting that her rather lazy spouse showed no signs of 
 replenishing the family larder, remarked one day, as 
 she served the frugal dinner: "Well, John, one or 
 t'other of us has got to go round Cape Horn pretty 
 soon, and I ain't agoin. " 
 
 A Warm Reception. 
 
 So accustomed to the long absences from home of 
 their husbands did some of these wives become that we 
 may almost believe the story of the one who is said to 
 have looked out of the window one day, and seeing her 
 husband coming up the street on his return from a four- 
 years' voyage "round the Horn," hastened to meet him 
 at the door with the water pail, which she thrust into 
 his hand with the remark: "Hello, Si. Here, go get a 
 bucket o' water. Dinner'll be ready by the time you 
 get back." 
 
22 
 
 Still harder to believe is the alleged reply of the 
 captain who was about to sail on a comparatively short 
 Atlantic voyage, when reminded at the last minute that 
 he had not said good-by to his wife: "Oh well, never 
 mind, I shan't be gone more'n a year or so." 
 
 The Ruling Passion. 
 
 Seen (and heard) on one of the Nantucket 
 wharves some years ago. An old whaleman spinning 
 yarns to a group of summer girls. "An* jest then," the 
 narrator was saying, "he up with his flukes (them's his 
 tail, ladies) and down he come kerswash! acrost the 
 bow o' the bo't; an' up we went int' the air 'bout ten 
 fathom, more or less; an' the nex' thing I knowed I 
 was a lookin' down right into his gre't gizzard, big's 
 a barn door, with the rows o' white teeth a shinin', an' 
 me a fallin' right square int' the openin'— (dramatic 
 pause). Chorus of "oh's !" Then, from one of the 
 maids: "And what did you think of then. Captain?" 
 "Well," (shifting his quid slowly to the other cheek) 
 "I thought he'd make 'bout a hundred barrels." 
 
JUDITH fCOFFIN) FOLGER-AT 94 YEARS. 
 
Chapter IV. 
 
 ANECDOTES OF THE QUAKERS. 
 
 NOTWITHSTANDING the austerity of the Quakers 
 and their well-known dislike and disapproval of 
 anything approaching levity in a worldly sense, they had 
 a shrewd wit of their own, kindly as a rule, but not 
 without its sting of irony, too, at times. Many good 
 stories are told of them and about them, from which 
 we have culled a few which seemed most worthy of a 
 place here. Including in their numbers at one time 
 fully half the population of the island, and being, by 
 virtue of their ability, thrift and business acumen, the 
 ruling element, politically as well as socially, no col- 
 lection of characteristic Nantucket stories and sayings 
 would be complete unless they were well represented 
 therein, and they are entitled to at least one whole 
 chapter in the "Scrap Basket." 
 
 As is well known, the Friends never used our pro- 
 fane names for the days of the week and the months of 
 the year, each being known by its number. Thus we 
 have the amusing incident of the Quaker schoolmaster 
 who set the copy for the writing class on the black- 
 board in this wise : 
 
 Beauty fadeth soon. 
 Like a rose in 6th mo. 
 
24 
 
 Also of the Quaker who referred to the story of 
 "Robinson Crusoe and his good man, Sixth Day." It 
 has been suggested that to carry this rule to its logical 
 conclusion we might expect something like this: 
 
 Third month winds and fourth month shewers 
 Bring forth the fifth month flowers. 
 
 Equally careful were all good Quakers to avoid using 
 the common plural form of the personal pronoun in the 
 second person singular, though strangely enough, they 
 (at least the Nantucket Friends) used the objective 
 form ungrammatically in the nominative case. Thus, 
 it was never "thou dost " or "thou knowest," but al- 
 ways "thee does" or "thee knows" with them, and 
 they were very strict about it. We do not vouch for 
 the truth of this story, but it is said that a woman of 
 the world's people who bore the name of Eunice Ewer 
 was always referred to among them as "Theenice 
 Thine." We are inclined to suspect some local wag 
 among "the world's people" was responsible for that. 
 
 Cursing by Deputy. 
 
 The captain of a Nantucket coasting vessel, who 
 was a member of the Society of Friends, in attempting 
 to dock his vessel at a wharf in New York found a No- 
 va Scotia craft in his way. He used all his powers of 
 persuasion on the Nova Scotia captain to get him to 
 move, so that he might take his vessel up to her place, 
 but the Down Easter was impervious to all entreaty. 
 Our Quaker captain had for a mate a man who was 
 somewhat noted for his fluency in the use of swear 
 words, and when it proved impossible to move the Nova 
 
25 
 
 Scotian by kindness, the captain, whose patience was 
 exhausted, stepped to the companionway and called 
 down the stairs: "Friend Peter, come up here and use 
 some of thy unadvised language on this man." Then, 
 handing the speaking trumpet over to the mate, he add- 
 ed, "and don't spare thyself, Peter." The mate re- 
 sponded with alacrity and to such good effect that a 
 clear berth was soon opened for the Nantucket coaster. 
 
 Better or Worse? 
 
 Another Quaker, a ship-owner, being much dis- 
 turbed by the profanity of one of his workmen, said to 
 him one day: "Jack, I think if thee should wear my 
 coat for a week, thee might cure thyself of thy habit of 
 swearing." Jack agreed to try it, and on returning- 
 the coat at the end of the week, the Quaker asked: 
 "Well, Friend Jack, did thee have any inclination to 
 swear while thee was wearing my coat?" "No," said 
 Jack, "but I did have a terrible hankerin' to lie." 
 A Polite Rebuke. 
 
 If the lie has to be passed sometimes, could it be 
 done more diplomatically than in this instance? A sail- 
 or man who was sadly addicted to "drawing the long 
 bow," as the habit of lying was called, was thus re- 
 buked by an old Quaker : "Friend Charles, if thee'd 
 ever been one-half as economical of this world's goods 
 as thee is of the truth, thee'd be the richest man in 
 Nantucket. " 
 
 Keep the Change. 
 
 An old Quaker ship-master, beset by Malay pirates 
 in the East Indies, noting a brown-skinned buccaneer 
 
26 
 
 climbing up the ship's side by a rope, reached over side 
 and cut the rope, remarking quietly: "Thee can have 
 the rope, friend, but thee can't come aboard." 
 
 Disinterested (?) Advice. 
 
 One of the Nantucket coasters, while running the 
 blockade in Vineyard sound during the war of 1812, 
 was in danger of being overhauled by a boat's crew 
 from an enemy privateer. The mate wanted to resist, 
 and asked permission to mount a small swivel they had 
 aboard, but the Quaker captain answered: "Thee knows 
 my principles will not allow me to take part in any 
 fighting." "But, Captain," begged the mate, "will 
 you go below for a few minutes, and give up the deck 
 to me?" Seeing no harm, and possibly some good in 
 this, the Captain agreed and disappeared below. The 
 boat approached, the swivel was mounted and trained, 
 but just as it was about to be touched off, a head ap- 
 peared cautiously above the companion-way, and a mild 
 voice said: "Mate, if thee means to do any execution 
 with that swivel, I'd advise thee to lower the muzzle 
 a little." 
 
 Good Business. 
 
 When two well-remembered Quaker worthies plied 
 the trade of tinsmiths, a man took a kettle to them to 
 be mended. Calling for it, he asked: "How much, 
 Peleg?" "Nothing, friend," was the reply. "Well, 
 well, I'll bring all my work here." "That's what I 
 wish thee to do, friend," answered Peleg, quietly. 
 
27 
 
 A Man of His Word. 
 
 One local artisan, in business on Main street for 
 many years, if asked when a job would be done, would 
 reply--" Well, thee may call on Fourth Day." If the 
 customer called for the work on that day, and finding it 
 was not finished, upbraided the shop-keeper for failing 
 to keep his promise, the latter would reply: "I did not 
 tell thee the work would be done ; I told thee thee 
 might call on Fourth Day. I'm always glad to see 
 thee." 
 
 The Best None Too Good. 
 
 An elderly Friend once interviewed a local black- 
 smith in regard to the price for making him a carving- 
 knife. "Well," was the reply, "I can make you a 
 pretty good knife for seventy-five cents; I can make 
 you a better one for a dollar, but I can make you one 
 that would cut the devil's head off for a dollar and a 
 quarter." The Friend promptly replied: "Thee may 
 make me the dollar and a quarter one." 
 
 International Amenities. 
 
 Just before the war of 1812 a Nantucket Quaker 
 ship-owner presented a check of considerable size to 
 the Bank of England for payment. The irritation and 
 contempt which anything American aroused in the Brit- 
 ish capital at that time was intense, but the old Quak- 
 er was told to call later and his check would be hon- 
 ored. When he did so, he was shown two kegs of frac- 
 tional currency and was curtly told that there was his 
 money. Patience to count it the Quaker did not have, 
 and his native shrewdness forbade his accepting it on 
 
28 
 
 trust; so taking a handful of coins from each keg he 
 remarked calmly : "Thee may deposit the remainder 
 and give me a draft for it on New York." After hours 
 of counting and verification the task was accomplished, 
 and the old Friend went calmly on his way rejoicing. 
 
 Qualified Praise. 
 
 A worthy Quaker housewife noted, as were they 
 all, for her habits of cleanliness and orderliness, decid- 
 ed after much deliberation and with many misgivings 
 to leave her family in the charge of her daughters 
 while she attended Quarterly Meeting in Newport. 
 Upon her return she praised her daughters for their 
 housekeeping, saying: "Thee has done very well; but 
 thee has put the pudding dish on the wrong side of the 
 platter. ' ' 
 
 Ruling Passion. 
 
 Cousin Eunice, one of the Quaker housewives who 
 had a reputation in her day for being what was called 
 "nasty neat," once entertained several friends at 
 "tea," which meant supper in Nantucket. Having 
 occasion during the meal to go to the kitchen for some- 
 thing, she was gone such a long time that the 
 guests, finally becoming anxious and fearing that some- 
 thing might have happened to her, decided to investi- 
 gate. They found her with her sleeves rolled up, 
 standing on a chair cleaning the shelves in the "chiny 
 closet." "Well, there !" she said, when discovered, 
 "I saw these shelves with all the dishes off of them, 
 and I just thought what a fine chance 'twould be to 
 
29 
 
 wash them off, and— I'm awful sorry— but 1 clean 
 forgot I had a party!" 
 
 A Friend in Need of Sympathy. 
 A widower of a half-year's standing met a neigh- 
 borly Quaker on a Nantucket street. The fact that the 
 widower was carrying a red "piny," and was headed 
 straight for the home of a buxom widow may have fur- 
 nished the text for his neighbor's remark: "Friend Ja- 
 bez, thee should marry again." To which Jabez re- 
 sponded: "Friend Peleg, that's the first kind word 
 I've heard for six months." 
 
 Mutual. 
 
 Any one acquainted with friends knows how par- 
 ticular they were about attending meeting. On one 
 very stormy Fifth Day an old lady went to the meeting 
 house and, excepting the janitor who was in the entry, 
 found no one. She took her seat, and after a few mo- 
 ments a man entered and seated himself, as was the 
 custom, on the men's side. They sat in silence during 
 the hour; then he (a widower) arose, and after shaking 
 hands with her (a widow), remarked: "I have had a 
 very profitable season," to which she replied that she 
 had also. 
 
 Accomplished Its Purpose. 
 A Quaker took a young man of the world's people 
 who was visiting the island, to First Day meeting. 
 There chanced to be no speaking, as "the spirit did not 
 move" anyone to rise, so they sat for an hour in silent 
 worship. On the way home the Quaker asked the young 
 
man how he had enjoyed the service. "It beat the 
 devil" was the reply. "That is precisely the object," 
 rejoined the Quaker, calmly. 
 
 All is Vanity. 
 
 A dear old member of the Society of Friends, one 
 of the occupants of the rising seats, went to meeting 
 on First Day in that calmness and serenity of demeanor 
 which bespoke inner tranquility of heart and mind. 
 The alteration in his bearing when he returned home 
 was so striking that it awoke consternation in his quiet 
 household. He was undeniably cross; and no reason for 
 his change of heart could be surmised, until at last he 
 turned upon his innocent and solicitous wife, and blurt- 
 ed out: "What'd thee let me go to meeting in my barn 
 hat for?" 
 
 Too Expensive. 
 
 One of our well-known island Friends, after the 
 Quakers had ceased to hold meetings, had long been a 
 regular attendant at one of the churches of the world's 
 people, but quite suddenly his attendance stopped, and 
 a committee from the church called upon him to ask 
 why. "Can't afford it," he replied brusquely. "Can't 
 afford it?" said the committee. "Why, what do you 
 mean?" Whereupon he answered somewhat irreverent- 
 ly: "No, I can't afford it. I've lost umbrellas and 
 pocket handkerchiefs enough going to such places." 
 
 A True Reflection. 
 
 A Nantucket woman, brought up in all the strict- 
 ness of the Friends' meeting, after her marriage de- 
 
31 
 
 parted so far from Friendly usage as to admit into her 
 house many articles which were ornamental enough to 
 win the disapproval of members of her sect, who placed 
 the ban on anything purely decorative, though if it 
 could be shown that an article was useful, it might be 
 permitted. A committee of friends waited upon her to 
 inquire into the presence of the alleged unseemly ob- 
 jects in her home. The lady was very clever, and found 
 a plausible excuse for the presence of each article 
 which aroused suspicion as they went through the 
 house. Somewhat discomfited by their fruitless search 
 for contraband, the committee finally arrived at the 
 front hall on the way out; but there they espied a con- 
 cave mirror. "Now this," said the spokesman trium- 
 phantly, "what possible use can thee have for this?" 
 "That mirror?" asked the lady in tones of surprise. 
 "Why, that is the most useful thing in the house. That 
 is to show thee how very small thee looks when thee 
 comes on such an errand." 
 
 A Total Loss. 
 
 That very honest ship owner and financier, a mem- 
 ber of the Society of Friends, Jacob Barker, being anx- 
 ious about a ship which was long overdue, called at the 
 office of one of the large marine insurance companies 
 and, frankly confessing his anxieties and doubts of the 
 ship's safe return, applied for a policy of insurance on 
 vessel and cargo. The premium proposed was a large 
 one, and the agents were anxious to underwrite the risk 
 if they could do it safely. They refused, however, to 
 give a definite answer at once, but asked for a few days 
 
32 
 
 in which to communicate with the home office, appoint- 
 ing a day later in the week when they would report. 
 In the meantime every avenue of information was 
 worked for news of the missing craft, while as a safe- 
 guard against any slip, the policy was prepared and ex- 
 ecuted, ready for delivery the moment any definite as- 
 surance of the ship's safety could be obtained. 
 
 On the day agreed upon no news, favorable or oth- 
 erwise, had been received by the agents; but that morn- 
 ing the honest old Quaker stopped in at the office on his 
 way down-town, to say carelessly: "0, by-the way, if 
 thee hasn't made out that policy thee needn't, for I've 
 heard from the vessel." "Well now, Friend Jacob, 
 that's too bad," exclaimed the insurance man, "for the 
 company accepted the risk, and the policy is all ready," 
 and stepping behind the desk he took out the paper and 
 handed it to our friend. The old Quaker heaved a deep 
 sigh — somewhat noncommittal in its purport — as he 
 counted out the gold for the premium, and, tucking the 
 precious document safely away in his inside coat pock- 
 et, he remarked, still casually: "Yes, I've heard from 
 her. She went to the bottom off Hatteras last month, 
 with all on board." 
 
 No Claimant. 
 
 In the busy whaling days of Nantucket, when 
 heavy drays loaded with casks of oil made their way to 
 the candlehouse, "Gran'ther B.", a worthy Quaker of 
 the town, had a large business in buying and selling oil. 
 Several cargoes arrived that were not satisfactory in 
 the estimate of the old gentleman. They looked cloudy, 
 
33 
 
 and he made frequent inquiries as to the best method to 
 improve the color, but to no avail. Finally a French- 
 man came to town who dealt in wines and, rumor had 
 it, knew how to clarify them. Now was Gran'ther B's 
 time. Perhaps the same method might be used with 
 his oil. 
 
 It was not long before interested dealers became 
 curious, and one of them approached Gran'ther's right- 
 hand man, Zimri, who tended the vats. "What does 
 the old gentleman use, Zimri," asked the zealous friend, 
 "to make his oil so clear?" 
 
 "I can't tell thee." 
 
 "Can't tell me?" he repeated. "And there thee 
 stands every day watching the vats." 
 
 "Yes, but thee sees, when the oil is poured in, the 
 old man says, 'Zimri, I want thee to do an errand for 
 me around the corner'; and there's always an errand," 
 sighed the fellow. 
 
 "Yes? Well, I'll tell thee, I'll give thee five dol- 
 lars if thee'll find out the secret for me." 
 
 A few days later Zimri was again interviewed. 
 "Well, how is it now? Thee knows it means a five- 
 dollar-bill for thee." 
 
 "I can't help it, "groaned Zimri, "it's always the 
 same thing, 'an errand around the corner.' ' 
 
 "Well, why doesn't thee go back some time and 
 pretend thee has forgotten something," was the next 
 suggestion. 
 
 "I tried that once, but I did not find anything — 
 just some empty papers," answered Zimri in despair. 
 
 One morning Gran'ther B. seemed most reluctant 
 
34 
 
 to come to breakfast, and when he had disregarded the 
 summons of every member of the family, his wife went 
 out with determined air to where he stood beside his 
 casks, and said: "Why is thee so late to thy break- 
 fast?" 
 
 Lifting a restraining hand, he said: "Sh, mother! 
 some one has been prowling around theise casks in the 
 night and been scared off, for look — " and he held up 
 a cane, dripping with oil, which he had taken from the 
 cask. 
 
 "What's thee going to do with it?" she asked. 
 "Look for its owner, won't thee?" 
 
 After a moment's pause, the old man said with a 
 sly twinkle, "Not a bit of it. I'll never hunt for the 
 owner, but I have a plan. I'll take that cane with me to 
 meeting every Fifth day and First day, where on the 
 high seat it will be seen by everybody." It is needless 
 to say that the owner never appeared, and the cane is 
 now in the possession of Gran'ther B's great-grandson. 
 (The wonderful clarifying solution that was added to 
 the oil proved nothing more elaborate than common 
 soda.) 
 
 Safety First. 
 
 When Signor Blitz, the sleight-of-hand performer, 
 was in town, he went into the bank, where William 
 Mitchell, the cashier, spoke with him, and said: "I 
 would like to see thee do one of thy coin tricks, Friend 
 Blitz." The latter said he would be delighted, and re- 
 questing the use of some coins, did a few stunts before 
 the eyes of the astonished cashier, causing the silver to 
 
35 
 
 disappear and reappear at will. William looked on in- 
 terestedly a few moments, and then turning to an as- 
 sistant, said: "I think thee had better put the rest of 
 our silver in the vault, and turn the key." 
 Calling Names. 
 
 A young girl of Quaker parentage, playing with a 
 friend of a worldly family, became incensed with her 
 companion, and expressed her indignation thus forcibly :. 
 "Thee's a little thee, thou!-' 
 
 In Coffin's. 
 
 Visitors to the island applied for accommodations 
 at a boarding house kept by Quakers, and were met 
 with this reply : "Yes, thee can come to us, but we 
 shall be compelled to sleep thee in Coffin's." The vis- 
 itors enjoyed the situation when the full meaning was 
 
 No Telling How Good May Come. 
 
 Aunt Eliza Nickerson was a driver of everything 
 with life, and had in her employ a girl named Harriet. 
 She often drove over to 'Sconset, taking Harriet, who 
 sat "in the tail of the wagon," and was supplied with 
 knitting needles and cotton, and was not permitted 
 to loiter any during the journey, Aunt Eliza fre- 
 quently prodding the girl with her foot, saying. "Knit, 
 Harriet! Knit!! It is for thy good I kick thee." 
 
 Almost. 
 
 Hon. Walter Folger, the famous mathematician, 
 whose astronomical clock was one of the wonders of his 
 day, often became so absorbed in the work in hand, 
 
36 
 
 whatever it might be, that he would shut himself up in 
 his study for days at a time, and it was hard for his 
 wife to get him even to come to his meals. One of her 
 woman friends, to whom she was once relating her dif- 
 ficulties in this respect, remarked that it must be very 
 trying to have to live with such a man. "Indeed it 
 is, "replied Mistress Folger. ''Why, do you know, 
 Abigail, sometimes I almost wish he didn't knuw any 
 more than thy husband!" 
 
Chapter V. 
 
 SOME NANTUCKET TRAITS. 
 
 JHHHEN all is said, perhaps the most typical char- 
 US acteristic of the average Nantucketer is a certain 
 complacency, a comfortable self-satisfaction and a gen- 
 eral feeling of content at having been born and having 
 spent his life in this most desirable place of abode. At 
 its best, this is simply an intense loyalty to the place of 
 his nativity and to all of its traditions. At its worst, 
 it is a harmless pride, akin to that of the average resi- 
 dent of most of our western towns, founded upon the 
 belief that his particular section is ''God's own coun- 
 try." Nantucketers realize, of course, that everyone 
 could not, in the nature of things, have been born on 
 the island; so without being vainglorious, they yet sym- 
 pathize in a kindly way with those less fortunate than 
 themselves. This is expressed quite simply in the re- 
 mark of an old man who had never been "off -island" 
 in his life, when asked if he did not want to go before 
 he died: "No, " he said ; ' ' What would I want to go 
 off island for? Nantucket's good enough for me." 
 
 Even the children early acquire this point of view, 
 as is evidenced by the two stories from the schools, one 
 of the boys, who located Alaska as in "the northwest 
 corner of off-island," and the other who wrote of Na- 
 
38 
 
 poleon : "He was a great soldier and a great statesman, 
 but he was an off-islander." 
 
 During the occasional freeze-ups, when Nantucket 
 is isolated from the mainland for days or even weeks, 
 the sympathy expressed in many quarters for the isl- 
 anders in being cut off from the rest of the world is 
 more than reciprocated. The islanders feel that the rest 
 of the world loses at least as much as they do by the 
 embargo. 
 
 Only An Off-islander. 
 
 It is told that when the late Oliver Ames, one- 
 time governor of Massachusetts, whose wife was a Nan- 
 tucket woman, came to the island to be married, he 
 was accosted by a native, who asked him, without 
 knowing who he was, if he had come down to the wed- 
 ding. "Whose wedding?" asked Mr. Ames. "Why, 
 Anna Ray's. She's a Coffin, you know; but he's noth- 
 ing but an off-islander." 
 
 On the day of Charles Sumner's funeral, a good 
 Nantucket lady, hearing the affair discussed, is said to 
 have inquired: "Was he of Nantucket origin?" 
 
 An old lady on Tuckernuck, learning that a party 
 of people had arrived on the island for a visit, asked 
 her informant: "Are they town folks, or furriners and 
 philosophians?" 
 
39 
 
 An Alien. 
 
 Another lady, not to the manner born, but whose 
 husband was a native, was highly amused at a remark 
 which was repeated to her to the effect that "she's a 
 charming woman, and we're very fond of her, but he 
 is one of us." 
 
 A Law Unto Itself. 
 
 A "stranger lady," attending a popular service at 
 one of the local churches, was much disturbed when 
 they began to place chairs in the aisles after the pews 
 were all filled and many people were standing. "Don't 
 you know," she asked an old captain who was lending 
 a hand with the chairs, "that this is against the laws 
 of Massachusetts?" "Well, madam," was the reply, 
 "Massachusetts laws don't apply to Nantucket." 
 
 Perfectly Safe. 
 
 A stranger once asked the jailer's wife if she nev- 
 er felt nervous when her husband didn't happen to be 
 round, and there were prisoners in the lock-up. "Cer- 
 tainly not," was the indignant reply, "I'd have you 
 understand they are all our own people, and perfectly 
 respectable !" 
 
 Reassuring. 
 
 All good Nantucketers want to sleep the last sleep 
 under their native sod. One good lady, ordered to a 
 hospital on the mainland for treatment, was quite sure 
 she should die there. "And then what' 11 be done with 
 me?" she asked of a friend. "Here'll be my house all 
 shut up and cold and dark. Where' 11 I go? Oh, Jane, 
 
40 
 
 dear, if I could only be brought to your house. Say 
 that I could, and I'll die satisfied." "Why, of course 
 you can," assented the wnrm-hearted Jane, "Come and 
 welcome,!" 
 
 We are glad to be able to record that Jane's hos- 
 pitality has not yet been availed of. 
 
 Examples of this kind might be multiplied indefi- 
 nitely, but enough have been given to illustrate the 
 point, and many others will doubtless occur to the read- 
 er who knows his Nantucket. 
 
 Two prominent traits of the typical Nantucketer 
 have often been remarked upon. One is the tendency 
 to indulge in "platitudinous ponderosity," and the 
 other is a habit of "dropping into poetry in a friendly 
 way." A few notable examples of each of these char- 
 acteristics are given. 
 
 The disposition to clothe their thoughts and ideas 
 in flowery language may be due to the Quaker influence, 
 for, while the Friends stood for simplicity in many 
 things, the fear of appearing in any way frivolous or 
 "unseemly" in manner or deportment and the effort to 
 preserve their dignity on all occasions often led them 
 to adapt a somewhat forced and stilted style of speech. 
 
 "Cousin" Elizabeth Black, 
 
 the Quaker school mistress, was wont to praise a pupil 
 who had done well in these words : "Excellent! Ex- 
 cellent! Thee deserves a reward of approbation." 
 This good lady, on being offered by Cousin Charles Fol- 
 ger, the use of his horse and cart to convey her to his 
 house for tea, admonished him solemnly to "be sure 
 
41 
 
 and provide a skillful charioteer." Later in life she 
 kept a little notion shop in the west part of the town. 
 One day a small boy opened the door and called out: 
 "Got 'ny jewsharps, Cousin 'Liz'beth?" "No, my 
 child," was the reply, "nor any other instrument of 
 music used by Israelite or Gentile, ancient or modern, 
 either for diversion or devotion. " 
 
 Squire Hussey, 
 
 lawyer, justice of the peace and real estate agent in 
 the 1850's, or thereabouts, indulged his propensity for 
 high flown language in his advertisements in the local 
 paper in this wise : 
 
 For Sale. A dwelling house situated on the Cliff. 
 This notable headland commands an extensive view of 
 the Sound, where vessels may be seen daily passing to 
 and fio with accelerated velocity. 
 
 For Sale. A dwelling house on York street. This 
 is one of the most popular localities of the town, in the 
 midst of a refined and enlightened community. The 
 Colored Methodist Society contemplates the erection of 
 a house of worship immediately opposite, which fact 
 will commend itself to all religiously-disposed minds. 
 
 A Barber's Ad. 
 
 At the sign of the Eastern Pine, 
 Where the red and white combine. 
 
 John Peters, a descendant of the famous English 
 Divine, Hugh Peters, informs all the tidy citizens of 
 Nantucket that Apollo and the Graces came over in the 
 last packet, and have taken up their abode at the corner 
 of Pearl and Water streets. He officiates as High 
 Priest in their temple, where it is his delightful task to 
 
42 
 
 adorn the outward man, to shave off excresences and 
 trim into proportion the shrubbery which nature has 
 reared around the head pieces of mankind. By a judi- 
 cious application of the scissors of discrimination, the 
 soap of good nature, the brush of reform, and the razor 
 of decision, he expects to bring about results, which 
 like powers of the Steam Engine, are, as yet, only 
 dreamed of. The grace of the Athenian beau, and the 
 dignity of the Roman senator, shall be so intermingled 
 in the grand contour of all who submit to his touch, that 
 the toute ensemble cannot fail to kindle love, and com- 
 mand respect. — Inquirer, July 4, 1829. 
 
 Liked His Withont Trimmings. 
 
 The story is told of a good citizen who gave an or- 
 der to his grocer thus: "I crave a pound of Coffee in 
 the crude state." 
 
 Lydia Green, 
 
 a worthy spinster, having encountered a dead horse on a 
 walk outside the town, remarked casually to a friend on 
 her return: "I should have enjoyed my accustomed per- 
 ambulation over the hills, were it not for inhaling the 
 noxious effluvia which emanated from the cadaverous 
 carcass of a defunct quadruped." 
 
 Of course Nantucketers do not talk that way, as a 
 rule, and the examples given are extreme cases, but 
 there are so many such stories told of our people, and 
 so many of the older generation, even today, are noted 
 for employing rather stately diction and speech, that 
 
43 
 
 we feel justified in recognizing this as one of their more 
 or less characteristic traits. 
 
 As for the versifying habit we doubt if any com- 
 munity of its size anywhere has produced quite so many 
 "feet" of rhyme per capita. Nantucket has had many 
 true poets, and some exquisite verse has been written 
 by natives of the island. It is not, however, with such 
 that the Scrap Basket would concern itself, but rather 
 with the quaint and the humorous, not to say grotesque 
 form which the tendency may at times have taken. 
 
 An early example of this trait is Obed Macy's 
 well known proposal to Abigail Pinkham : 
 
 From a long consideration 
 Of the good reputation 
 Thou hast in this nation, 
 Gives me an inclination 
 To become thy relation 
 By a legal capitulation. 
 And if this my declaration, 
 May but gain thy approbation. 
 It will lay an obligation, 
 From generation to generation 
 
 On thy friend 
 Who, without thy consideration, 
 May remain in vexation. 
 
 to which Abigail is said to have replied, though the gen- 
 uineness of the reply is not vouched for: 
 
 On mature consideration 
 Of this unique nariation 
 Of thy infatuation, 
 Without further hesitation, 
 With no coy dissimulation, 
 But with maidenly elation. 
 And perhaps some perturbation, 
 I agree to annexation, 
 And life-long assimilation. 
 
 [Note: — Obed and Abigail were married in 1786, and had ten children,] 
 
44 
 
 A Rhyming Skipper. 
 
 In 1781 the sloop Good Intent, owned by William 
 Roteh and others, and known at Nantucket as "Copper 
 Bottom" was seized for some infraction of the laws by 
 order of the Board of War, then sitting in Boston. 
 Ichabod Plaisted, the local naval oflicer, not knowing 
 just how to indite his official report of the seizure, 
 sought the advice of one Capt. Dowse, who, after learn- 
 ing the facts, produced the following, which was duly 
 sent : 
 
 "Gents: Your orders respecting the Sloop Good 
 Intent I received last night and straightway I went On 
 board of said vessel, and in the State's name. Made a 
 seizure thereof; but soon after came Some riotous per- 
 sons, whose names I could mention, Lock'd the men I 
 had plac'd as guards in the round-house, And kept them 
 confin'd there as snug as a dormouse. They instantly 
 made what dispatch they were able, And soon stripped 
 the vessel of sails, rigging and cable. She'd a cargo 
 on board of codfish and inions. And a lot of sperm oil; 
 in good Whigs' opinions Was destined direct to the isle 
 of Jamaica, With two sets of papers, lest a cruiser 
 should take her. In this state she remains and I await 
 further orders — Which I beg you to hasten, to stop new 
 disorders. I need add no more lest time should be 
 wasted. But remain, with respect, 
 
 Yours, 
 
 Ichabod Plaisted. 
 
 Old time Nantucketers often quote that odd sign 
 once displayed in front of a local store : 
 
 Nice white quart bowls of all sizes, 
 Ninepence apiece and all prices. 
 
 
45 
 
 Another advertisement of John Peters, barber, in 
 the Nantucket Inquirer of July 3, 1830, has been hand- 
 ed down. This effusion consists of twelve verses of 
 four lines each, but a few will suffice. 
 
 Curling irons, best and common. 
 Suitable for man or woman. 
 Perfumed soap, both red and white, 
 To please the sense of smell or sight. 
 
 Razor straps and paste assorted, 
 Yankee made, likewise imported; 
 With one side black, the other fair 
 They'll give an edge— twill split a hair. 
 
 Then please to call, pray don't pass by. 
 If I don't shave you smooth, I'll try; 
 My soap is soft, my razor keen. 
 To shave you well is what I mean. 
 
 I'll cut your hair in any style — 
 To suit a frown, a scowl, a smile; 
 To please your taste or Fashion's rule, 
 I'm an adept in either school. 
 
 Not so bad, John, for 1830. Much worse dogger- 
 el confronts us every day in the street cars, nearly a 
 century later, and much less to the point at that. 
 
 Another old one comes to light, wherein William 
 Harris advertises, in 1827, that he has taken the cellar 
 under Major Bigelow's house, 
 
 Where he has opened his Oyster Shop 
 
 For friends to sit at ease, 
 While he'll supply them, cold or hot, 
 
 Or cooked just as they please. 
 
 to which place he invites a continuance of their patron- 
 age, and 
 
 Where they shall find, as usual, his utmost care is 
 That the public shall be pleased by their servant, 
 
 — William Harris. 
 
46 
 
 One more, printed in 1858, and decidedly frank 
 to say the least : 
 
 The schooner Rosa is again down South, 
 
 Loading with lots of trash; 
 Bound for a market somewhere North, 
 
 To shave folks out of their cash. 
 
 With Corn, Flour, and other nice things, 
 
 Too numerous to mention; 
 I'm bound to shave folks all I can, 
 
 'Tie my trade and whole intention. 
 
 The almighty Dollars I need so much, 
 
 Since the times are tight and hard, 
 So if anything's wanted in my line, 
 
 Call on Capt. J. H. Barnard. 
 
 The files of the Nantucket newspapers contain hun- 
 dreds of such advertisements, and it was evidently a 
 popular way of calling atention to one's wares long be- 
 fore the days when the advertising "expert" began to 
 inflict his atrocities upon us. 
 
 Even the editor often caught the trick, as witness 
 this gem from the Inquirer as far back as 1822, when 
 Mr. Melcher copies from an exchange the marriage no- 
 tice of William Double to Ann Maria Single, and adds: 
 
 A prudent maid to change her fate 
 
 From solitary trouble. 
 She wisely left the Single State, 
 
 And turned into the Double. 
 
 Some of these wedding verses were so good that 
 we are tempted to reprint several of them, appearing 
 in the Inquirer in the 1820's and 30's. 
 
47 
 
 Christopher Sutton to Miss Margaret Hands : 
 
 Pleasing: facts of love requited 
 Here indeed is Hands united. 
 
 Robert Nott to Miss Sophia Dewdney : 
 
 Happy be fair Sophy's lot, 
 
 She once was singrle, now she's nott. 
 
 By Rev. G. Blythe. William Merry to Miss Jane 
 Stephenson : 
 
 When at the Altar hands are twined, 
 
 The hearts are joyful— very; 
 And so was Jane's when Blythely joined. 
 
 The parson made her Meriy. 
 
 Samuel Moody to Miss Asenath Paine: 
 
 When Moody Samuel went to woo 
 
 His spirits to regain, 
 He made his fair one Moody too — 
 
 Though she lost all her Pain. 
 
 Thomas Allwood to Miss Sparke : 
 
 "If Cupid's heart were anthracite 
 
 It would not catch like tinder, 
 But when its texture is All wood, 
 
 A spark soon makes it cinder." 
 
 Edward Byrd (82) and Miss Elizabeth Cherry (71) : 
 
 "Old Birds like Cherries fully ripe." 
 
 But perhaps the best of all was that of Editor 
 Samuel H. Jenks, of The Inquirer, author of most of 
 the foregoing, who appended to the marriage notice of 
 Miss Lydia B. Long, when that lady changed her name 
 to Bourne, this delightful bit: 
 
 Said the bridegroom in haste to the bride-elect: 
 "Don't, Lydia, be long, for the touch of love burns!" 
 But she, more wary and circumspeet, 
 Said: "Is this the Bourne whence no traveler retuens?" 
 
48 
 
 The late Rev. Ferdinand C. Ewer is authority for 
 this correspondence between his grandfather, who was a 
 blacksmith, and a customer who wanted an adze made: 
 
 Hazadiah, 
 I desire 
 That thou an adze would make me; 
 And when 'tis done, 
 Set down the sum — 
 The money I'm to stake thee. 
 I want an adze. 
 
 -Bartlett Coffin. 
 
 The reply : 
 
 I and my lads 
 
 Have made thy adze, 
 Though nothing have to boast on; 
 
 So take it away, 
 
 And the money pay; 
 'Tis cheaper than in Boston. 
 
 A Shilling. 
 
 — Hazadiah Cartwright 
 
 As Dr. Ewer, if now living, would be about ninety 
 years of age, and this happened to his grandfather, we 
 can get some idea of how far back this trait showed 
 itself among the islanders; but can we imagine such a 
 correspondence between a local blacksmith and his cus- 
 tomer in these days? 
 
49 
 
 Here is another : 
 
 Stoves polished and Carpets beat 
 By Edwin Ellis, Farmer street. 
 
 Some Artisan. 
 
 A sign was at one time conspicuously posted, 
 which stated : 
 
 Notice. » 
 
 Carpets taken up, Spots Removed and put down 
 again. 
 
 Tempora Mutant ur. 
 
 A trait often attributed to Nantucketers is an ex- 
 treme conservativeness toward anything new. The 
 charge has often been made, and with some justifica- 
 tion, perhaps, that every public improvement proposed 
 has always been fought bitterly and that every possible 
 obstacle to its realization has been placed in its way by 
 a considerable section of the community. We are in- 
 clined to doubt if this spirit is any more in evidence 
 among our people than elsewhere; for it is well known 
 that- this experience is almost universal with promo- 
 ters of new projects the world over. The very fact 
 that most of the modern public services have been suc- 
 cessfully inaugurated here at an earlier date than in 
 many far larger communities would seem to be a suffic- 
 ient refutation of the charge. 
 
 Certain it is, however, that many of our elderly 
 people, who had lived in the days of the island's mari- 
 time prosperity, looked with little favor upon the met- 
 amorphosis which took place a generation ago from a 
 
50 
 
 great whaling port to a popular summer resort, and 
 they felt that little good could come of the change. 
 The summer people were in many cases partly responsi- 
 ble for this prejudice, for many of them were inclined 
 to patronize the islanders in a way which was offensive 
 to a proud people with a history in which all took pride. 
 Aunt Eliza Russell, who lived to the age of ninety- 
 three years, seventy-seven of which were spent in the 
 old home on Pearl street, where she went as a bride at 
 the age of sixteen, was one of the most- out-spoken in 
 her disapproval of the changed conditions which came 
 to pass in her later years. On one occasion she an- 
 swered a ring at her door bell to find four ladies ( ?) 
 standing on the door-step, one of whom addressed her 
 thus: "We have been told that there are many old and 
 curious things in this house, and we wondered if we 
 might see them." With all the dignity of her ninety 
 years, Aunt Eliza replied: "I am as old and curious as 
 anything in it, and you can see me." On another oc- 
 casion, when told of the profits she might derive from 
 renting her spare chambers to the summer boarders, she 
 remarked, "I think my income will keep me comforta- 
 bly as long as I am likely to live, and I haven't the 
 slightest intention of allowing 'coofs' to get in between 
 my sheets with their boots on!" That settled it, and 
 her spare rooms were always at the disposal of her chil- 
 dren and her children's children. 
 
51 
 
 Of course there are many other characteristic Nan- 
 tucket traits quite as well-recognized as those men- 
 tioned, but not perhaps so easily illustrated by anec- 
 dotes suitable for the Scrap Basket. Of the really dis- 
 tinctive qualities of Nantucket people as compared with 
 others elsewhere, the compilers hesitate to speak as 
 freely as they might, for fear of being themselves ac- 
 cused of that particularly typical one first mentioned 
 in this chapter. 
 
Chapter VI. 
 
 LOCAL "CHARACTERS.'' 
 
 /fPlF quaint, interesting and more or less eccen- 
 Vll/ trie characters Nantucket has produced so many 
 that a mere catalogue of the names of these notables 
 would occupy many pages. Judging by the early rec- 
 ords, nearly all of the original settlers might be eligi- 
 ble to the list, and each generation since has produced 
 its quota who have left their mark in the annals of 
 their times. To mention only a few, with some sam- 
 ples of their idiosyncrasies, is all that space permits. 
 
 "Uncle Pillick" Folger 
 
 is one of the earliest. Of him, some local wag wrote 
 the verses beginning : 
 
 "Old Uncle Pillick he built him a boat 
 On the ba— ack side of Nantucket P'int; 
 
 He rolled up his trousers and set her afloat 
 On the ba— ack side of Nantucket P'int. 
 
 His sea journal of some voyages on the sloop 
 Grampus in 1751 is rich in philosophy of a quaint and 
 original order, and interlarded with Latin phrases and 
 quotations from the classics, which betoken no small 
 erudition for a sailor man of those days. On May 15, 
 1751, he writes : 
 
 This day we fell in with the South Shoal, and made 
 
53 
 
 our dear Nantucket and thro' God's mercy got round 
 the point in the afternoon. So we turned it up to the 
 Bar by the Sun 2 hours high. — Laus Deo. 
 
 On another voyage July 14th, same year, he says : 
 
 We have killed two spermacetie's. Now for home, 
 Boys. We have seventy barrels in our Hold — ex bene- 
 ficia divina. 
 
 The Newbegins. 
 
 Much has been written about this interesting and 
 unusual family; but perhaps the best story presented 
 concerning them was that by Dr. Lithgow in The In- 
 quirer and Mirror of September 2, 1911, and from that 
 story we make several excerpts which will give the 
 general reader some insight into their peculiarities. 
 Like as in many other examples, they have been written 
 up in verse and story. 
 
 Reference to the Newbegins usually has to do with 
 the three sistera, Phoebe, Mary and Anna, who were the 
 children of James and Phoebe Nicholls Newbegin. Of 
 these daughters alone we shall principally speak. They 
 were always more or less eccentric, and as time went 
 on, their peculiarities became more accentuated. They 
 are said to have been good-looking and attractive, but 
 their isolation and mode of living rendered them timid 
 and reticent. They had few social friendships, beyond 
 those involved in their regular attendance at Friends' 
 Meetings and quiet visits of some of the Friends. Even 
 their education was crude and elementary, and they 
 knew little of things going on in the outside world or 
 even about them. They assisted in the duties of the 
 house, gathered herbs and berries, sewed and wove, and 
 looked after their hens, which latter were to them a 
 source of the greatest comfort and pleasure. 
 
54 
 
 Anna, the youngest, did all the marketing, and in 
 her Quaker bonnet and garb, could often be seen walk- 
 ing to town from their home about a mile distant, with 
 unsteady, zig-zag gait, never passing a post or stump 
 or tree without circumnavigating it three times in suc- 
 cession ; nor would she step off a curb without stepping 
 off of it and going back and stepping off again. Phoebe 
 and Mary were taciturn, apathetic and melancholy. 
 
 For nearly forty years these simple-minded, ec- 
 centric beings lived contentedly alone. They were 
 regarded as curiosities, and town people would bring 
 visiting friends to gaze upon them in sympathy and 
 wonder. Iheir home was of interest, and in its one 
 front room lived a cat, hens and the three old maids. 
 Suspended about the walls were garments and Quaker 
 bonnets, with iron and wooden utensils, while on the 
 mantel-piece and other convenient points there was a 
 heterogeneous collection, including an old shoe, one 
 brown tea pot with broken spout, yellow pitcher with- 
 out handle, dead chicken, untidy lamps, well spattered 
 tallow candle, and other remains of worthless bric-a- 
 brac. 
 
 They lived to good old ages, and when they became 
 unable to care for themselves, were removed to the 
 Friends' Boarding House, on Main street, three doors 
 west of Gardner, where they were looked after by the 
 Society of Friends. Anna died August 7, 1853, at the 
 age of eighty-one years; Phoebe, February 23, 1860, 
 ninety-four years; and Mary, August 10, 1863, ninety- 
 three years. They were buried in the Friends' Burying 
 Ground. 
 
55 
 
 Anna was the talker of the family, and when she 
 found nobody to talk to, would address the hens, which 
 lived in the same room with the family. Some of these 
 bipeds were regarded by her as almost human and in- 
 tellectual, and she would talk to them accordingly, 
 while others which were treated as pets would usually 
 roost up-stairs, but were frequently seen nesting on one 
 of the beds, on the mantel-piece, or in Anna's arms. 
 Favorites were designated by special names, as Martha, 
 Hannah, Abigail. Hannah always gave notice of her 
 intention to lay by a "cluck-cluck," which, when Anna 
 heard, she would open a drawer in the bureau and Han- 
 nah would fly into it, and then it was nearly closed un- 
 til Hannah would announce the object of her incarcera- 
 tion acomplished. 
 
 The simple-mindedness' of these people is evidenced 
 in the following fact, regarding their brother George, 
 who essayed to swim across Hummock pond, and when 
 two thirds the way became fearful he could not make 
 the shore, so turned and swam back again. 
 
 At one time Uncle Benjamin G had a fine 
 
 hog killed and decided to send the hams to Mary L- , 
 
 who made a business of smoking and curing them. He 
 told John, his man-of-all-work, to "take the hams to 
 Mary." Now John was a frequent caller at the New- 
 begins, and thought Uncle Ben intended them as a gift 
 to Mary and her sisters, and took them there. Later, 
 Aunt Rachel (Benjamin's wife) was calling at the 
 Newbegins, when Mary burst out with: "Rachel, Ben- 
 jamin's legs are perfectly beautiful! perfectly beauti- 
 ful ! We have bad them fried, we have had them 
 
56 
 
 baked, and we have had them in all ways, and thee 
 may say to Benjamin that his legs were beautiful." 
 It was not until the puzzled Rachel returned home and 
 reported this incident, that the fact was brought to 
 light the hams had been innocently diverted from in- 
 tended channels. 
 
 The following lines show up quite clearly some of 
 the eccentricities of the sisters : 
 
 On this little sandy isle, 
 
 A mile or two from town, 
 Live three aged sisters 
 
 The fame of whom resounds. 
 One of these sisters eighty-two, 
 
 Another most four-score. 
 And Anna, youngest of the three. 
 
 Her years are seventy-four. 
 In peace and comfort there they live, 
 
 Free from the care of wealth, 
 Enjoying more than many hearts 
 
 In happiness and health. 
 No husband ever smiled on them 
 
 To cheer them on their course, 
 But a life of sinerle blessedness 
 
 Seemed to have been their choice. 
 They've never left their native isle 
 
 The world at large to see, 
 But seem as well contented 
 
 In ignorance to be. 
 Our steamboats they have never seen 
 
 Except at a distance, 
 Likewise our ships — those noble craft- 
 Have never met their vision. 
 Full sixty years ago, they say, 
 
 They visited our wharves, 
 The price of apples to obtain, 
 
 Also of beef and pork. 
 They make companions of their hens, 
 
 And nurse them with much care; 
 They share with them their humble home 
 
 And let them roost up stairs. 
 One of them walks sometimes to town 
 
 In order to procure 
 
57 
 
 Whatever articles they may need 
 
 From Cousin Reuben's store. 
 It would please you very much 
 
 To see her in her walks. 
 As around a post she three times goes 
 
 In steps so quick and fast. 
 Gay visitors they sometimes have — 
 
 Also the slick and prim— 
 With pockets well-nteh bursting 
 
 With cakes and other things. 
 Could you but sea the joyous smiles 
 
 Around Friend Mary's mouth, 
 And hear the trembling accents 
 
 As Phebe then breaks forth, 
 "I'm obliged to thee, friend!" Phebe cries. 
 
 And Anna looks her thanks, 
 While Mary hastens with the prize 
 
 As fast as she can tramp. 
 Upon the upper shelf she puts 
 
 The croods which they bestow 
 And then comes and seats herself, 
 
 The news in town to know. 
 "Tis then the numerous questions 
 
 In quick succession come, 
 About the folks in town 
 
 Also our friends at home. 
 And sometimes while you're sitting 
 
 Conversing with these three 
 About their hens and chickens, 
 
 You much amused would be— 
 Pei-chance will greet your ears 
 
 A cackling loud and shrill; 
 Sometimes a smart young chanting 
 
 Will make those wails resound. 
 When we speak of leaving 
 
 They press us hard to stay, 
 And make us promise often 
 
 To take a stroll that way. 
 " ; Now, come again, all on ye," 
 
 Is Phebe's constant cry 
 As we, their mansion leaving, 
 
 Turn round to say good-bye. 
 Now, if there's anyone on this isle, 
 
 Who never has seen these three, 
 Delay no longer— visit them— 
 
 Repaid you'll surely be. 
 
58 
 
 An Old-time Constable. 
 
 Way back in the days when our grandfathers 
 were small boys there was a certain constable in Nan- 
 tucket, who had charge of the little lock-up on "Hay 
 Scale Lane, "now Pine Street. Any boys caught out after 
 the nine o'clock curfew were impounded therein, and 
 their parents were notified to come and take them home. 
 The constable was somewhat infirm, and unless the boys 
 were so awed by the official presence that they came at 
 once on being hailed, he would try diplomacy on them 
 in this wise : 
 
 "Come here, now! Come right here to me, every 
 one o' ye; or I'll tell ye all something about your grand- 
 fathers that ye won't like to hear." 
 
 Cousin Cyrus Folger 
 
 was seen walking briskly down Main street, with both 
 hands extended before him, palms toward each other. 
 He was approached by several friends along the route 
 who supposed he wished to shake hands. But he shook 
 his head to each one, exclaiming: "Don't bother me! 
 I've got the measure of a pane of glass." 
 
 Butts Up. 
 
 Uncle Jed R , a well-known character in the 
 
 fifties, distinguished himself by shingling his hog-pen 
 with the butts of the shingles pointing skyward. This 
 innovation earned for him the nickname "Butts up." 
 
 One day, while passing Capt. Joseph Coffin's house 
 on Main street, he spied that mariner building a 
 "walk" on top of his house. Wishing to be sociable, 
 Uncle Jed sang out, "What'r'ye buildin' up there?" 
 
59 
 
 Remembering Jed's shingling exploit, the captain re- 
 plied: "A hog pen." "Humph," said Uncle Jed, "bet- 
 ter stay in it when ye git it done!" 
 
 Repartee. 
 
 Amos Wood and Peleg West were two inveterate 
 jokers, and each liked to get the better of the other. 
 Amos was somewhat of a stutterer, and Peleg had a 
 wooden leg. One day West observed his rival coming 
 along the street, and remarked loud enough for Amos 
 to hear him : 
 
 "Here comes Amos Wood 
 
 Who never was known to do any good." 
 
 To which Amos retorted 
 
 "And h-h-here is P-P-Pelee West, 
 And his woo- woo- wooden part is 
 M-much the best." 
 
 The Devil on One Stick. 
 
 Charlie Callahan also had a wooden leg. He kept 
 a liquor saloon and was called "the devil on one stick." 
 On one occasion he was at a house about dinner time 
 where a blackberry pudding was one of the parts of the 
 meal. Callahan was not asked to partake, but saw 
 through an open door what was going on. Atter the 
 meal was over Charlie asked the head of the family, 
 "What they would take for that blagberry pudden, be- 
 in's it was second hand?" 
 
 Joseph Perry, 
 
 remembered by many who go back even one generation, 
 was not a Nantucketer by birth, but a native-born Eng- 
 lishman. For many years he kept a hardware store on 
 
60 
 
 Main street where Folger's restaurant is now located. 
 A lady who still spoke the Friends' language had long 
 waited for a special kind of an old brass latch which 
 "Joe" had agreed to order for her and to let her know 
 when it arrived. Finally, exasperated by the delay, 
 she went down to the shop, determined to bring matters 
 to a head. Joe sat, as was his wont, tipped back in 
 his chair, with his feet up, calmly smoking his pipe. 
 The good lady opened up as follows : 
 
 "I suppose thee has done nothing about that door 
 handle of mine yet, Joseph? Now I have waited 
 about long enough, and I'd like to know if thee really 
 ever intends to get it for me. Thee has treated me 
 shamefully, and I am tired of it. Why doesn't thee 
 say thee can't get it, and be done with it? Now, for 
 the last time, is thee going to get me that handle?" 
 
 Old Joseph sat calm and unruffled throughout this 
 tirade; then, taking his pipe slowly from his mouth, 
 but without changing his position otherwise, he drawled 
 out, as to the world in general : 
 
 "Lord! 'Ear that woman jaw! I tell ye now, as 
 I told ye afore, it ain't a 'andle at hall, it is a latch; 
 and I got it hinside." 
 
 An Un-named but Enterprising Merchant. 
 
 A story is told of a lazy Nantucket shop-keeper 
 who was not inclined to give up his personal comfort or 
 ease. Whenever he saw a customer enter the front 
 door he would call out from his chair: "Well, what 
 is it? What is it? Because perhaps I haven't got it." 
 On one occasion a customer wished to buy a pail and 
 
61 
 
 inquired the prices of the different sizes hanging in a 
 line from the ceiling. The shop-keeper, without get- 
 ting out of his chair, designated each pail with his foot, 
 saying: "That is 50 cents; that is 62^ cents." 
 "Well," said the customer, "I will take that one," 
 pointing to the pail he wished to buy. The shop-keep- 
 er did not stir, and a wave of distress seemed to be 
 passing over him. Presently, with an air of great per- 
 plexity, he said: "No, I won't sell it, for I shall only 
 have to buy another." 
 
 Prof. Maria Mitchell, 
 
 the famous astronomer and one of Nantucket's most 
 distinguished daughters, could hardly be classed as a 
 "character" in the sense that some of these others are 
 so named, but she was a woman of strong and original 
 personality, and many good stories are told of her by 
 her friends and acquaintances. She was once directed 
 by her physician to use lager beer as a tonic On her 
 way to visit her sister, Mrs. Kendall, in Cambridge, 
 Mass., she stopped at a saloon and purchased a bottle 
 of beer, which she later asked her brother-in-law to 
 open for her. "Where did thee get it, Maria?" asked 
 her sister. "At the saloon on the corner," relied Miss 
 Mitchell serenely. "Why Maria! Doesn't thee know 
 that respectable women don't go into such places?" 
 "Oh," said Miss Mitchell, in the manner of one 
 who has done all that could be required, "I told the 
 man he ought to be ashamed of his traffic." 
 
 A gentleman who. still cherished the theory of 
 
62 
 
 woman's incapacity for any attainment not purely do- 
 mestic, once asked Prof. Mitchell if she did not think 
 that the delicate organization of woman unfitted her for 
 the irregular hours which the night work in astronomy 
 necessitated. "Sir," Miss Mitchell replied, in her deep 
 masculine voice, "my mother had more night work than 
 astronomy will ever demand of any woman. She 
 brought up eight children." 
 
 A certain visitor to the island had a most ardent 
 desire to see Maria Mitchell, and was gratified to learn 
 that she would be able to do so at a home wedding 
 which she was to attend with her hostess. "But how 
 shall I know which is she?" was the anxious query. 
 Remembering that Miss Mitchell was of a pronounced 
 brunette type, the hostess said hastily: "She'll be 
 the darkest person in the room." This simple method 
 of identification did not take into consideration the pres- 
 ence of the family servant, a mulatto woman. The in- 
 terested stranger, upon joining the assemblage, looked 
 quickly around and naturally settled upon the mulatto 
 as hest answering the description; so she advanced with 
 outstretched hands to exclaim with fervor: "Is this our 
 Maria?" 
 
 Capt. William Baxter, 
 
 who, for many years before the Nantucket railroad was 
 built, and even for some time thereafter, drove the 
 'Sconset stage, was an inveterate joker and wag, and 
 many are the good stories told of him by those who 
 
63 
 
 knew him. The following is one of his advertisements 
 from the files of the Inquirer and Mirror: 
 
 Back-stir. 
 
 Ancient mariner, by sea and land, has forsaken the 
 former and confines his efforts no more to trackless 
 wastes. His side-wheel craft, Swiftsure, will be 
 launched Monday, May 11, 1891, for the season. She 
 has been newly rigged, and is supplied with hard cush- 
 ions for invalids and soft seats for sweethearts. Deaf 
 ear turned to cooing and billing, all confidences strictly 
 confidential, and no gossip repeated. Rates reduced to 
 all parts of the island. 
 
 When Cap'n Baxter was conveying a party of visi- 
 tors across the commons to 'Sconset on a dark and fog- 
 gy night, he would frequently stop, jab the handle of 
 his whip into the road and gravely taste the dust which 
 clung to it. When inquiries were made as to the mean- 
 ing of this eccentric performance, he responded: "Why 
 bless you, I know this old island blindfolded the darkest 
 night that ever was. I just take a sounding, and I can 
 tell to a foot where we are by the taste of the bottom." 
 
 One of Cap'n Baxter's duties was the transporta- 
 tion of the mail to Siasconset, where the villagers could 
 obtain their letters and papers by calling at his house. 
 A complaint having been made that the sign "Post Of- 
 fice" had been placed by Cap'n Baxter, without author- 
 ity, over the door of his house, an official of the postal 
 service visited the island to verify the charge. In the 
 natural course of events he became a passenger (and 
 the only one) in the Cap'n's good side-wheeler, bound 
 for 'Sconset, and, quite as naturally, he had unbosomed 
 himself to the Cap'n before the town was hull down. 
 
64 
 
 The Cap'n shook his head doubtfully. "I live right 
 there in the village," he said, "and I would be sure to 
 know it if there was such a sign there, but I never saw 
 it. However, the best way will be for you to see for 
 yourself." So he drove to Polpis and allowed the of- 
 ficial to inspect personally every farmhouse in the 
 place. "You see," said the Cap'n, "there's no such 
 sign here." And the inspector, satisfied that the com- 
 plaint was without foundation, was driven back to town 
 and took the next boat for the continent. 
 
 "How blue the water is!" murmured one fair pas- 
 senger making her first trip to 'Sconset on the Swift- 
 sure. "Why, there," said the Cap'n, "this must be 
 the day." Somewhat puzzled, the passenger inquired, 
 "yes? what day?" "Why, we like to make things 
 look nice for you strangers, so about once in so often 
 we tip a couple of hogsheads of blueing overboard, so 
 as to make the water a pretty color, and they must have 
 just done it today." 
 
 Two young men, "coofs," who had heard of Cap- 
 tain Baxter's quips and jests, were most desirous of 
 enjoying his fun at first hand, and for this purpose they 
 drove out to 'Sconset. It chanced that the first one 
 they met on entering the village was the Cap'n him- 
 self, and to him they expressed their wishes. "You 
 have come at just the right time," said the Cap'n 
 pleasantly. "Cap'n Baxter is to lecture this evening 
 at the school-house, and you'll have a chance to hear 
 him there. But I advise you to be on hand early so as 
 to get good seats." As soon as the evening shades be- 
 
65 
 
 gan to gather, the young men, with happy anticipations, 
 betook themselves to the school house and sat down on 
 the steps to await the opening of the door. And ther^ 
 they sat, and sat, and continued to sit while darkness 
 settled around them and the village quieted down for 
 the night. At last, becoming fearful that something 
 was wrong, they returned to the village, where again 
 they told their tale to the first man they met. The 
 man laughed. "I guess you've seen Cap'n Baxter," 
 he said. 
 
 When Cap'n Bill lay on what was apparently his 
 death bed, his old friend, Joseph Clapp, an equally in- 
 corrigible joker, went to see him and condole with him. 
 The old man was pretty far gone and very weak, but 
 that did not prevent Capt. Joe from having his little 
 joke. On leaving, his parting words were: "Well. 
 William, I wouldn't hurry about leaving this sinful 
 world. Thee'd better stay here as long as thee can, for 
 thee's not likely to go to any better place." Cap'n 
 Bill took the hint, and his convalescence was rapid from 
 that hour. 
 
 "Joe" Clapp. 
 
 Meeting Matthew Barney, Treasurer of the Sav- 
 ings Bank, one day, Joseph Clapp stopped him. "Friend 
 Matthew," he said, solemnly, "Thee knows that Paul 
 said, 'would thou wert as I am, excepting these 
 bonds.' Well, I've come to the conclusion that they 
 were City of Jerusalem bonds, and that they were at a 
 discount. " 
 
66 
 
 Mrs. McCleave and Her Museum. 
 
 One of the most interesting characters of the last 
 generation was Mrs. Eliza A. McCleave, better known 
 as '* 'Lizy Ann," who had a small museum of antiques 
 and curiosities at her house on upper Main street — a 
 Mecca for visitors for many summers. The collection 
 was an interesting one, but the accompanying "lecture" 
 delivered by the hostess herself, was much more so. It 
 was largely in rhyme, and was delivered with an unc- 
 tion which was irresisitible. Could it have been pre- 
 served in a talking machine record, it would have 
 proved one of the best sellers in the list. We can give 
 but a little of it. 
 
 "This old shell comb, though not as old as Noah. 
 Yet, when fifteen, my sister Phebe wore 
 She worked very hard to gratify her passion, 
 And when the cost was earned, 'twas out of fashion. 
 
 "This glass tankard, though not a hundred years, 
 Grandmother's gift, as the case appears. 
 The pound of putty daubed throughout is meant 
 To serve for use as well as ornament. 
 
 "These are ashes, supposed to be, 
 Which fell on various ship6 at sea. 
 
 "These musk-ox bones, just seven feet ten from end to end 
 
 they measure; 
 Look up and view them at your pleasure." 
 
 "The man who carved the carved ivory carved this. 
 
67 
 
 And again, 
 
 "This, ladies and gentlemen, is a horsefoot or king crab— botanical 
 name, Polypemus; twenty-four thousand eyes on either side, but even- 
 tually nothing- but a crab." 
 
 Lizy Ann knew every Nantucketer, of course, and 
 when one of them accompanied her off island visitors, 
 her personal observations were apt to be amusing and 
 sometimes rather embarrassing. On one occasion a fair 
 daughter of the island brought a young man from Bos- 
 ton. In the midst of the lecture, Lizy Ann suddenly 
 inquired: "Is this young fellow a beau of yours, Car- 
 oline?" "Oh, no, no;" replied the lady. "Is he go- 
 ing to be?" was the next question. 
 
 Once, when exhibiting two small figurettes, she is 
 said to have remarked: "Now friends, take notice of 
 these ; one is Caesar, the other Brutus. I am not sure 
 which is which. (Turning to her assistant and under- 
 study) Mary Lizzie, which one of them two was it got 
 slewed?" 
 
 One of her best pieces— her chef d'oeuvre, perhaps 
 —was "The Cedar Vase," a long "poem," describing 
 this article wrought by Reuben Folger at his shop on 
 Orange street. After reciting this effusion she often 
 innocently added this interesting reminiscence: "Many 
 people have admired this poem. My cousin admired it 
 very much. One evening he was here and I repeated 
 it to him. He went home soon afterward, and was 
 found dead in his bed next morning." 
 
 Elisha Pope Fearing Gardner, 
 
 poet and peanut vendor, who died January 28, 1913, 
 maintained for many years at his little home on Chicken 
 
68 
 
 Hill, which he called "Poet's Corner," a sort of ma- 
 rine and whaling exhibit of much interest to the sum- 
 mer visitors. Some of the relics were well worth see- 
 ing, but the various original signs posted conspicuously 
 all over the place were, next of course to the poet 
 himself, the chief attraction. Some of them were very 
 funny. Mr. Gardner had been a soldier as well as a 
 sailor, had served as a Union spy during the Civil war, 
 and had had an adventurous career altogether. Though 
 of a somewhat unique and eccentric personality, which 
 he capitalized at its full value in his declining years, 
 he was a man of some ability and much originality. 
 His "boneless peanuts" became famous the country 
 over, through the many write-ups he and his place 
 were given by visiting journalists. The place, but not 
 the "poet," may still be seen. Below appear copies 
 of several of the numerous inscriptions that adorned 
 the fences about Elisha's homestead: 
 
 The years they come, the years they go, 
 And Poet's Corner still is here, 
 For I am alive, don't you know 
 To welcome all with a good cheer. 
 
 The sun may rise, the sun may set. 
 But folks will come here just the same; 
 And if some peanuts you wish to get 
 This is the place, you know the name. 
 
 When I was young and in my prime 
 Full of fun I always was, 
 I always had a good time— 
 My only reason was, because. 
 
 The fleas are thick here, you'll find, 
 
 And they follow where'er you go; 
 
 But they are gentle, they are kind. 
 
 Never mind the weather when the wind don't blow, 
 
69 
 
 These signs are new every year, 
 I do not print them over twice, 
 Apple sass and root beer 
 Are both I think very nice. 
 
 I was thinking the other day 
 
 Of the folks that here do call, 
 
 And wondered where they stowed away 
 
 When night began to fall. 
 
 Carted Everything. 
 
 The late William H. Bowen ("Billy") was some- 
 thing of a wag. One day, while carting off rubbish for 
 a 'Sconset family, some young girls thought to have a 
 little fun at his expense. One of them said: "Oh, Mr. 
 Bowen, I didn't know you carted away trash." "Yes, 
 yes," was the prompt response, "Get in." 
 
 THE TOWN CRIERS. 
 
 For many, many years, until quite recent times, 
 Nantucket maintained one or more, sometimes several, 
 town criers, and much of the local advertising was done 
 by that method Evidently all the criers were more 
 or less of characters, and many good stories concerning 
 them have been preserved. 
 
 This quaint couplet has come down to us from very 
 ancient times, indicating, it may be, that the duties of 
 night watchman and town crier were combined: 
 
 "Twelve o'clock and all's well. 
 Jabez Arey has beam to sell." 
 
 Stephen Macy. 
 
 One of the ancient criers was Stephen Macy, who 
 seems to have been a man of resource. After making 
 due announcement through every street and lane of the 
 
70 
 
 town for a local merchant one morning, he presented 
 himself before his employer for the accustomed fee. 
 But it was not forthcoming, and even after some dis- 
 cussion of the point the merchant did not seem inclined 
 to pay for the service. So in the afternoon Stephen 
 went out again and, revisiting every street and lane of 
 his former route, he "uncried" his morning announce- 
 ment. 
 
 On another occasion, when the sailing packet for 
 the mainland, owing to the exigencies of wind and tide, 
 made her departure at the unaccustomed hour of three 
 o'clock in the morning, Stephen shortly thereafter re- 
 paired to the local tavern, roused the proprietor, and 
 asked him if any of his boarders wanted to leave by the 
 packet that day. "Why, yes," replied the landlord, 
 "there are several who are anxious to get away." 
 "Well," said Stephen, "tell 'em they can't, cause the 
 packet's gone. " 
 
 Charles H. Chase. 
 
 There is a many-times -told story of Charles H. 
 Chase, one of the criers during the 60's and 70's of the 
 last century, to the effect that on one occasion, after 
 ringing his bell lustily and making his announcement, a 
 rather fresh young summer girl called out to him from 
 a boarding house veranda: " Where 'd you get your bell, 
 Mister?" Quick as a flash came back the reply: 
 "Same place you got your manners, young woman — 
 from the brass foundry!" , 
 
71 
 
 William B. Ray 
 
 succeeded Mr. Chase. His custom was to ring his bell 
 loudly, and then in a very clear and intelligent but 
 rather gentle conversational tone, to recite his announce- 
 ment for the benefit of the immediate bystanders. 
 Cap'n William C. Dunham, happening to pass one day 
 as William B. was "crying" an auction, seized the 
 bell, and exclaimed contemptuously : "That ain't no 
 way to cry. Now lemme show you." Then, in the 
 stentorian tones often heard later in the Hall of Repre- 
 sentatives at Boston, he bawled out the announcement 
 with all the vigor of his great lung power. Mr. Ray 
 endured it in scornful silence, and at the close of the 
 object lesson remarked with calm dignity: "I could do 
 it that way if I wished, but I don't care to." 
 
 On another occasion the ringing of this crier's bell 
 excited a dog to a frenzy of barking. The crier waited 
 with poised bell, until the clamor ceased, then "Time 
 ain't nothin', " he remarked philosophically, and pro- 
 ceeded with his announcement. 
 
 Billy Clark. 
 
 The most famous, because the best advertised by 
 the write-up men, of all Nantucket's town criers, was 
 the late William D. Clark. William was a "queer ge- 
 nius," and columns have been written about his eccen- 
 tricities. 
 
 "Billie," as he was always called, combined in one 
 incumbent the manifold duties of a score of offices. He 
 was news vendor, errand boy, window washer, bill pos- 
 ter, distributor of almanacs, hand-bills and general ad- 
 
72 
 
 vertising matter, including free samples, all-round 
 chore man and general factotum. In his day and time 
 he was just about the busiest business man in town. 
 "Crying" was only incidental, and he could make half 
 a dozen different announcements in one round of the 
 town. 
 
 As the steamboat ran up to the wharf, and even 
 before the hawsers were out, his bundles of daily pa- 
 pers were thrown to him. Ripping off the wrappers as 
 he started up town, he glanced over the headlines, ab- 
 sorbing enough of the day's sensations to transform 
 himself into a walking bulletin board. By the time he 
 had reached the head of the wharf, with a toot of his 
 horn to attract attention, he exploded into a monologue, 
 of which a fair sample, from memory, would be some- 
 thing like this : 
 
 ''Now comes the news to-night! Now comes the 
 news to-night! Awful fire in Chicago! City all burnt 
 up. — Hundreds of folks drowned! That's down in 
 Kentucky, the river — the river Ohio overflowin' — an' 
 they can't stop it! — 'Nother severe murder in New 
 York! Man killed his wife, then killed himself — both 
 of 'em dead! Meat auction on the lower square to- 
 morrow morning at 10 a. m., at 10 a. m., to-morrow 
 morning, beef, pork, mutton and lamb. And don't 
 forget, ladies and gentlemen, don't forget there's a 
 big surf on at 'Sconset! Take the Nantucket railroad 
 and go out and see it! Round trip, 50 cents. And 
 there's consid'able goin' on! Grand Concert and En- 
 tertainment in the Atheneum Hall to-night, to-night at 
 8 o'clock, p. m. Tickets, 25 cts., children, half price. 
 
73 
 
 And remember, remember the grand ball, grand ball at 
 Smith's Hall Saturday night, Number Fours, Number 
 Fours grand ball! And that ain't all, no; that ain't 
 all! Don't forget my birthday — November 17th, that's 
 the date, ladies and gentlemen, November 17th. Toot! 
 Toot! ! To-o-o-o-t! ! ! 
 
 It is useless to attempt any imitation of the ec- 
 centricities of elocution or articulation which character- 
 ized Billie's delivery of one of these tirades. It has 
 often been tried, but it simply can't be done in print. 
 Those who have heard him can reproduce it. Others 
 must trust to the imagination or get some old-timer to 
 impersonate the immortal William for their edification. 
 For many years Clark rendered a valuable service 
 to the townspeople, which was entirely voluntary on 
 his part, by announcing the approach of the steamboat. 
 Day after day he climbed the many steps to the lookout 
 in the old south tower, swept the northwest horizon 
 with a powerful spy-glass, and as soon as he sighted 
 the boat, he pushed his horn through slides in the 
 windows provided for the purpose on each of the 
 four sides, and gave several loud and prolonged toots 
 on his horn, which could be heard in every part of the 
 town. Moreover, at daylight on every morning after 
 a severe storm he was at his post in the tower search- 
 ing the rips and shoals about the island with his glass 
 for signs of wrecks or vessels in distress; and there is 
 no doubt many a poor sailor owes his life to the relief 
 expeditions which often resulted from Billie's vigils 
 and the quick alarm given on such occasions. With 
 
74 
 
 all his peculiarities (and he had many) William D. 
 Clark was a valuable citizen, and his place has never 
 been and never can be filled. 
 
 "Al" Hull. 
 
 The very last of Nantucket's criers, Alvin Hull, 
 who died a few years ago, was a born humorist. His 
 wit was spontaneous, and he had the gift of self-adver- 
 tisement to a remarkable degree. Having, on one oc- 
 casion completed the rounds of the town, and called for 
 his pay, he greeted his employer thus: 
 
 "How'd you like the cry 1 gave you? Well, I 
 tell you, I meant to give you a good one. I went out 
 in the afternoon and I sez — Now if that ain't enough, 
 I'll cry again after supper, when the folks are all out 
 on the piazzas and down to the wharf. And there was 
 something about the air last night that was jest right 
 for crying. I sez to my wife when I stepped out o'- 
 doors, 'It seems 'sif I jest wanted to cry.' And then 
 the hour, 7.45 — I don't know what there is about it, 
 but seems 'sif I could jest warble forth 7.45." 
 
75 
 
 SOME LOCAL SIMILES. 
 
 The speech of the older generation of Nantucketers 
 is full of quaint similes, most of which refer to some 
 old story. In some cases the story has been forgotten, 
 while the expression still remains. We have succeeded 
 in collecting a number of these odd sayings- with the 
 accompanying stories : 
 
 As Mad as Tucker. 
 
 Tucker was one of those gentle souls whose heart 
 was bigger than his brains. His only relation and care- 
 taker was a grandmother to whom he was as deeply 
 attached as his feeble mental capacity would permit. 
 When this poor innocent was seen on the street one day, 
 crying bitterly, the compassionate neighbors hastened 
 to inquire the cause. "I'm so mad," he sobbed. "'I'm 
 so mad. Granny's dead and I'm so mad I don't know 
 what to do. " The poor fellow could not even distin- 
 guish between his emotions, and although not wholly 
 unsympathetic, the Nantucketers could not refrain from 
 their inalienable right to seize upon a joke by using 
 the simile, "As mad as Tucker when his granny died." 
 
 "As Weak as Annie Burrill's Tea." 
 
 Annie Burrill was so flustered when she enter- 
 tained the minister that she forgot to put any tea in 
 the tea-pot, serving him with a nice cup of freshly- 
 boiled water. When asked if his tea was satisfactory, 
 his reply was: "It has no bad taste, madam." Thus 
 the expression became a simile for weakness in her day. 
 
76 
 
 "As Bad as Old Skitzy." 
 
 Skitzy remarked one day, "Now, wife, that cheeae 
 is all gone, and I've had none of it." "Well, why 
 didn't you eat some?" she asked. "Why, I don't like 
 cheese," answered Skitzy. 
 
 "As Handy as Caleb's Cheese." 
 
 It is said that Caleb Macy was (unlike Skitzy) so 
 fond of cheese that he kept one hanging by a string in 
 his sitting-room, "so's to have it handy;" hence the 
 expression. 
 
 A Poor Gamaliel. 
 
 Gamaliel, a poor good-for-nothing, coming home 
 one night, said to his long-suffering wife: "Well, I've 
 sold my horse." "Have you? What did you get for 
 it?" "Why — a cart!" Hence, the expression, "a 
 poor Gamaliel" has a deep significance to the Nan- 
 tucketer. 
 
 "You Haven't Got Dinah Paddock to Deal With." 
 
 Dinah Paddock was a weak-minded woman whom 
 the boys delighted to tease, when playing around her 
 door. After she moved away, they began playing the 
 same tricks on her successor, but she soon scattered 
 them, saying: "I'll let you know you haven't got Di- 
 nah Paddock to deal with." This became a simile for 
 efficiency for that day and generation. 
 
 "Keeping Still Like Uncle Jimmy." 
 
 In the old days, when families laid in the win- 
 ter's supply of beef and pork in barrels, Uncle Jimmy 
 missed, little by little, the pork from the barrel which 
 
77 
 
 stood in the yard. He suspected a certain man, but 
 said nothing. 
 
 Fourteen years went by, and one day, in talking 
 of losses, the man whom he had suspected, said: "Un- 
 cle Jimmy, you never found out who took that pork, 
 did you?" "No," said Uncle Jimmy, "not till this 
 dayl" Out of this incident grew the well-known ex- 
 pression, "keeping still like Uncle Jimmy." 
 
 "No More Use for Them Than Meader Had for His Teeth" 
 
 A man named Meader, living during the war of 
 1812, applied to his neighbor for the loan of a ham- 
 mer. Being asked why he wished it, he replied: "To 
 knock out my teeth. I have no need of them, for I 
 can get nothing to eat." Hence the saying among old 
 Nantucketers, -I have no more use for it than Nick 
 Meader had for his teeth." 
 
 A Shrinking Bride-elect. 
 
 Someone once asked Uncle Amaziah how soon his 
 daughter Susan who had been betrothed for some time, 
 was to be married. "Oh, pretty soon now," was the 
 reply. "She's only waiting for her gums to shrink." 
 The seeker for information was somewhat puzzled for a 
 time until further inquiry revealed the fact that Susan 
 had recently had her whole "upper set" extracted, pre- 
 paratory to having some new store teeth, so that she 
 might make a good appearance as a bride. So when 
 an engagement is unduly prolonged, those in the know 
 are apt to say, " She must be like Susan, waiting for 
 her gums to shrink." 
 
78 
 
 Liked His Own Way Best. 
 
 Bill Munn was a menial in the employ of a light- 
 house keeper many years ago. He was one day writing 
 to friends, and finally, after a few moments of deep 
 thought, asked a member of the household how he 
 spelled sugar. He was told; and then responded: "I 
 have writ it 'shugar, ' and I like my own way best." 
 Hence the old-time Nantucketer, may, in his response 
 to a query as to why he did not do a piece of work 
 differently, be likely to reply: "I'm like Bill Munn 
 — J like my own way best. " 
 
® 
 
 Chapter VII. 
 
 BURYING GROUND AFTERMATH. 
 
 || HE half dozen or more burying grounds of the isl« 
 ■^ and furnish much of interest and humor in their 
 often strange epitaphs. It would be wholly without 
 the bounds of possibility to endeavor to give anything 
 like a general presentation of all that have been col- 
 lected, but the choice ones that have come to notice will 
 perhaps entertain and not prove boresome. And, too, 
 it is possible to append a few ludicrous episodes and 
 conditions connected with funerals, etc. 
 
 Cautionary Signals. 
 
 "Stop, kind reader, and shed a tear 
 O'erthedust that slumbers here: 
 And when you read the fate of me 
 Think on the glass that runs for thee." 
 
 "Stop, my friend, as you pass by; 
 As you am now so once was I. 
 As I am now, so must you be; 
 Prepare for death and follow me. 
 Follow me and be you wise, 
 And up to Heaven you will arise." 
 
 Playing the Hose. 
 
 An old Nantucket scrap-book credits the following 
 epitaph to "a. Hosier stone": 
 
 "He left his hose his Hannah and his love 
 
 To go and sing Hosannah in the realms above." 
 
80 
 
 At Anchor. 
 
 The following epitaph was alleged by the Boston 
 Sentinel to have been inscribed on a tombstone in Nan- 
 tucket. It was not to be found in any burial ground 
 on the island in 1835, and beyond question deserves a 
 niche in the same Temple of Fame where the story of 
 "Nantucket's First Tea" is so carefully and elaborate- 
 ly embalmed : 
 
 "Free from the storms and gusts of human life. 
 
 Free from the squalls of passion and of strife. 
 
 Here lies Reuben Chase anchored, who stood the sea 
 
 Of ebbing life and flowing misery; 
 
 He luffed and bore away to please mankind, 
 
 Yet duty urged him still to head the wind; 
 
 Rheumatic gusts at length his mast destroyed, 
 
 But jury health awhile he still enjoyed. 
 
 'Tho not dandy rigged, his prudent eye foresaw. 
 
 He took a reef at fortune's quickest flaw. 
 
 Worn out with age and shattered head. 
 
 At last he struck and grounded on his bed. 
 
 There in distress careening thus he lay, 
 
 His final bilge expecting every day; 
 
 Heaven took his'ballast from his dreary hold, 
 
 And left his body destitute of soul." 
 
 Cheerful Amid the Surroundings. 
 
 In one of the cemeteries is a tombstone bearing 
 the following line in tribute to the memory of the de- 
 parted : 
 
 "She was so pleasant." 
 
 "Here and There" in Verse. 
 
 The following is an epitaph to be found in the Old 
 South burying ground, and gives poetical expression to 
 
81 
 
 a supposedly family difference of opinion as to where 
 the body should be laid : 
 
 "However dear, she's not laid here; 
 Some private grief was her disease. 
 Laid to the North,* her friends to please." 
 
 *North burying ground. Newtown. 
 
 Don' t Crowd the Mourners. 
 
 When you read what is here 
 
 Think on the mourners and drop a tear. 
 
 Newtown Burying Ground, 1815. 
 One Smile. 
 
 My life in infant's days was spent 
 While to my parents i was lent 
 
 One smiling look to them i gave 
 Then descended to the grave. 
 
 Old North, 1802. 
 
 A Good Asset. 
 
 He has left an affectionate widow to lament the loss. 
 
 Old North, 1803. 
 Watch Your Step. 
 
 Learn then ye living, by these mouths be taught 
 
 Of all these sepulchres, instruction true, 
 That soon or late, death is your lot 
 
 And the next opening grave may 
 yawn for you. -„..« 
 
 Old North, 1812. 
 Recorded. 
 
 Seven years ago thy birth was given. 
 
 Old North, 1836. 
 
82 
 
 Next! 
 
 Stop gentle reader and think awhile 
 On them that lies beneath this soil 
 
 Perhaps it may be your next lot 
 To be intomb'd on the next spot. 
 
 Newtown, 1828, 
 
 No Escape. 
 
 Death is a debt to Nature due 
 Which I have paid, and so must you. 
 
 Old North, 1828. 
 
 Philosophical. 
 
 When soul and body did unite 
 In me my parents took delight 
 The scene's changed; the separation made 
 And I am numbered with the dead. 
 Both old and young may plainly see 
 That youth was no defence for me. 
 Death's summons we must all obey 
 And mingle with our mother clay. 
 
 Old North, 1802. 
 
 Waiting the Trump. 
 
 Reader! Farewell until the 
 Red morning of the resurection 
 Sparkles over yonder hills. 
 
 Old North, 1837. 
 
 Bah! 
 
 She tasted of life's bitter cup 
 Refused to drink the potion up, 
 
 But turned her little head aside 
 Disgusted with the taste, and died. 
 
 Newtown, 1886. 
 
83 
 
 Full to the Brim. 
 
 Beneath this stone doth lie 
 As much virtue as can die 
 
 Which when alive did vigour give 
 To as much beauty as could live. 
 
 Old North, 1820, 
 
 Vanity and Smoke. 
 
 This mortal life decays apace 
 
 How soon the bubble's broke 
 Adam and all his numerous race 
 
 Are vanity and smoke. 
 
 Old North, 1806. 
 
 Weather Had Changed. 
 
 Cousin Lydia Monroe had been a boarder with un- 
 cle John Sherman's family prior to her decease. Some 
 time after her burial, two well-born ladies met Uncle 
 John on the street one evening, and thought to have a 
 bit of fun at his expense. One of them started the 
 ball with: "Good evening, Uncle John," to which the 
 old gentleman politely responded, Then the second lady 
 asked: "Have you heard from Cousin Liddy, Uncle 
 John?" "Oh, yes," came the reply, "We heerd yis- 
 terday, and she's sent for her summer clothes." 
 
 « Two in a Hill." 
 
 It was during an epidemic of canker rash in the 
 town, and there were numerous deaths, which gave Un- 
 cle Cyrus Hussey rather more digging than he could 
 manage, so he dug the next grave and each subsequent 
 one a trifle wider, and buried two bodies in each exca- 
 vation. But someone got on to the fact and reported 
 
84 
 
 to the person in authority, and it being against the be- 
 lief of Quakers, the practice was soon stopped. But 
 ever after that Uncle Cyrus was referred to as "Two in 
 a Hill." 
 
 Buried in Two Sections. 
 
 At the time Uncle Cromwell Coffin died at his 
 home at the North Shore, on the present site of Sea 
 Cliff Inn, Uncle "Liphey" Paddock was sexton. It 
 was the custom in those days, after the service, for the 
 corpse to be placed in the hearse before any person left 
 the house, and the driver then moved away to make 
 room for the carriages for the family and other mourn- 
 ers. Uncle Liphey was a bit "hard of hearing," but 
 understood his job generally. The coffin was placed in 
 the hearse, and Uncle Liphey drove off, halting at a 
 respectable distance. Somebody then told him to move 
 on, with the purpose of making room for more carriages 
 at the door. He thought it was the signal to pro- 
 ceed and started off, the immediately-following vehi- 
 cles moving with him; and this first section proceeded 
 down the hill, through Centre street, beyond the curve, 
 before the second section got under way. When the "first 
 carriage" of this second section reached Lily street, the 
 driver thought the others had passed that way, and 
 drove in, the others following. Meanwhile Uncle Li- 
 phey's section had reached Main street, and started 
 westward for the burying ground. About this time 
 Samuel Remsen, a "carman," drove up and essayed to 
 get ahead of the funeral cortege. Uncle Liphey, who 
 was a "rough stick," thought this was a challenge, 
 
85 
 
 and exclaiming: "Not by a d— d sight, Sam Remsen ! 
 You can't beat me!" whipped up his horse, and went 
 prancing up Main street at a lively gait, the others hur- 
 rying to keep pace. Uncle Cromwell's remains were 
 duly placed in the grave, and as the "first section" 
 drove out to the street, the "second section" was just 
 coming up. It was Uncle Liphey's last day as sexton. 
 
Chapter VIII. 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS SCRAPS. 
 
 Any Way to Get There. 
 
 SURING the ''gold rush" for California in '49, 
 hundreds of Nantucket men and many from off-isl- 
 and took ship direct from here to San Francisco. The 
 following bona fide conversation was reported at the 
 time : 
 
 Stranger — How much do you ask, Mr. , for a 
 
 cabin passage to California? 
 
 Ship-owner — One hundred dollars cash down in ad- 
 vance. But i can't take you — all full in the cabin. 
 
 Stranger — Well, suppose I go in the hold, how 
 much do you ask then? 
 
 Ship-owner — Eighty dollars; but I can't take you. 
 Hold is full. 
 
 Stranger — But can't I go in the fore peak? What 
 is the price of a passage there? 
 
 Ship-owner — Eighty dollars, but I can't take you. 
 Full, fore and aft. 
 
 Stranger — Well, can't I go aloft somewhere? and 
 suppose I do, what will you charge? 
 
 Ship-owner— We charge eighty dollars to go any- 
 
87 
 
 where; but can't carry you aloft. Got to carry provi- 
 sions there. 
 
 Stranger— It is a hard case, isn't it? But as I 
 want to go tolerably bad, what will you charge to tow 
 
 me? 
 
 The ship-owner retreated suddenly, and didn't 
 make his appearance again until the vessel sailed. 
 
 Specie Payments. 
 
 In the first quarter of the nineteenth century it 
 was no unusual event for Boston banks to take the bills 
 of country banks to the bank of issue and demand 
 specie. One day, without warning, the Boston agent 
 arrived in Nantucket with $50,000 in Nantucket bank 
 bills and demanded specie. The bank officers tendered 
 him $70,000 in Boston notes and demanded the specie 
 balance. The agent declined the tender, so while the 
 tellers were counting out the specie the Nantucket bank 
 officials sent an agent to Boston with the Boston bank 
 notes and held back every vessel from sailing until he 
 returned. And the Boston agent was compelled to wait 
 until he saw the Nantucket bank gain $20,000 in specie 
 by his attempted sharp practice. 
 
 Poor but Proud. 
 
 The fame of Nantucket's sweet-toned Portuguese 
 bell, which hangs in the << South tower," having 
 reached as far as Boston at a time when a certain very 
 prosperous religious society of the Hub was building a 
 new church, it is related that the building committee of 
 the Boston society wrote to the Nantucket society which 
 
88 
 
 owns the bell, stating that they had a fine new church 
 and asking if the Nantucket society cared to sell its 
 bell. The Nantucket society replied promptly, stating 
 that they had a fine old bell, and asking if the Boston 
 society wanted to sell its church. 
 
 A Genealogist. 
 
 The following incident illustrates well the famili- 
 arity of Nantucketers with matters pertaining to gene- 
 alogy. A former librarian of the Atheneum went home 
 one evening, deep in thought, and said to her sister : 
 "Ann W. Starbuck has been taking out books as a 
 member of the family of George P. Starbuck, but I 
 cannot seem to recall the connection." Without a mo- 
 ment's hesitation her sister answered : "Ann W. Star- 
 buck's mother's father's first wife's husband was a 
 brother of George P. Starbuck 's mother." 
 
 Retribution. 
 
 A good Quaker lady who was keen on genealogy, 
 exasperated at being unable to rouse any enthusiasm for 
 the subject in the mind of her younger sister, exclaimed 
 one day: "Well, I wish thee might be left a legacy 
 sometime, and be unable to get it because thee could 
 not prove thy relationship". 
 
 True Economy. 
 
 Two men met on the street one day, and in the 
 course of conversation the one said to the other : ' ' How 
 do you manage to feed your large family with your 
 small income?" "Well," he responded, "I'll tell you. 
 
A NANTUCKET GENTLEMAN OF THE OLD SCHOOL. 
 
89 
 
 I find out what they don't like and give 'em plenty of 
 it." 
 
 (Note — The above story was related by Rev. Rob- 
 ert Collyer in the course of a lecture in a city far from 
 Nantucket some years ago. A lady in the audience rose 
 and confirmed the truth of the story, stating that she 
 was one of the large family referred to.) 
 
 An Impatient Swain. 
 
 A dweller on the Hinsdale road wooed and won a 
 fair maiden living on a farm in Polpis. It was ar- 
 ranged that the marriage should take place in town. 
 On the nuptial morning the bridegroom hitched up and 
 started for town. Meeting a homeward-bound Polpis 
 rig on the road, he called out: "Say, if you see Sarah 
 Abbie anywhere along the road, tell her to hurry up." 
 
 The Law and the Profits. 
 
 A certain old mason of Nantucket, being asked to 
 figure on a new chimney for a wealthy "squire" who 
 had the reputation of being rather "near," named a 
 price which was as low as he felt he could do an honest 
 job for. Still the customer was not satisfied and in- 
 sisted on beating him down. He needed the work and 
 was willing to sacrifice any possible profit if he could 
 get "a decent day's pay" out of it, so after consider- 
 able haggling, he took the contract at a figure which 
 was far too low even for that. He built a first-class 
 chimney, but it would not draw, and when the first fire 
 was started the squire's house was filled with smoke. 
 In a rage, he sought the mason and made his complaint. 
 "Well," said the artisan, "of course you must have 
 
90 
 
 known I couldn't guarantee the job at that price." 
 "But what will it cost to make it right?" queried the 
 now penitent customer, visions of a complete rebuild- 
 ing of the structure at more than the original cost, flit- 
 ting through his mind. After some further bargaining 
 the mason agreed to correct any fault in the chimney 
 and guarantee the job for an additional twenty dollars, 
 which was about the amount of profit he had figured in 
 his original estimate. The following day, when the 
 customer was down town, the mason climbed to the roof 
 of the house, tied a brick to the end of a piece of twine 
 and dropped it down the chimney from the top. A few 
 well-directed strokes with the brick smashed the light 
 of glass he had carefully set in the flue, and the chim- 
 ney "drew" perfectly forever after. 
 
 "A Window in Thrums. " 
 
 A dear old lady whose chief occupation and pleas- 
 ure were "watching the pass go by," was heard to re- 
 mark: "By the looks of that package 1 think Zimri 
 Coffin has bought a piece of cheese." 
 
 Durance Vile. 
 
 Some one asked the Nantucket jailer how he made 
 sure that all his prisoners were in when he locked up at 
 night. "Oh," he said, easily, "I just call in at the 
 door, 'Boys, are you there?' and they answer, 'Yes, 
 we're here.' " 
 
 Cast Off the Painter. 
 
 A certain local painter, who was rather "poor 
 pay" had long owed The Inquirer a bill for advertising. 
 
91 
 
 On being dunned rather hard by Mr. Jenks, the editor, 
 he finally said, "If I don't pny you that money by next 
 Thursday, it'll be because I'm dead." Friday's issue 
 of The Inquirer contained an obituary notice of the 
 painter, written in Jenks' best style. 
 
 It Pays to Advertise. 
 
 The Inquirer of April 25, 1829, published the fol- 
 lowing : 
 
 Special Notice. 
 The person who STOLE the subscriber's Wheel 
 Barrow is requested to call and take the side boards 
 which belong to it. 
 
 E. W. Tallant. 
 
 In much more recent times a local tailor advertises : 
 "If the person who borrowed my snips will return 
 them, I can lend them to someone else." 
 
 A Few Who'd "Come Over the Bar Without Camels.' ' 
 
 That not all Nantucketers are brilliant will be 
 seen by the following collection of anecdotes. 
 
 It was a Nantucket man who, in order to estimate 
 the requisite amount of wall paper bordering needed for 
 a room, borrowed a step ladder from his neighbor, so as 
 to measure for it. 
 
 A good Nantucket woman whose place was in the • 
 home said that on short dnys she always put the pota- 
 toes on earlier. 
 
 And it must have been the same resourceful house- 
 keeper who said that, when she wanted an extra good 
 cake, she just doubled all the ingredients. 
 
92 
 
 At a time when a well was being dug in a Nan- 
 tucket backyard and had reached a goodly depth, the 
 lady of the house went out there with a hand mirror, to 
 try to see the bottom by reflecting the light into the 
 depths. This so alarmed the unsuspecting digger that 
 he called out in terrified tones: "H'ist me up, Eph- 
 raim, h'ist me up, for I see the light of another 
 world." 
 
 Uncle Jed Russell, when he received a check for 
 the first time (amount $30), was told to take it to the 
 bank and get the cash. He went in, and slapping the 
 paper on the counter with his big hand, blurted out: 
 ''Now, William Mitchell, I guess I've got you stuck. 
 Look at that! Too much for your old bank, eh? Wall, 
 if yer can't give me the whole at one time, give me 
 what yer can !" 
 
 Charles died rather suddenly, and a friend said to 
 the widow sympathetically, '"Well, Eliza, Charles went 
 off rather unexpectedly, didn't he?" "Ye-e-s, he went 
 off like a Gun!" 
 
 One mother kept her daughter in because she did 
 not "like she to mix with those other girls." 
 
 A good woman one day told with pride she had had 
 her last fall's bonnet "re-mo-delled." 
 
 A local church deacon one day made this announce- 
 ment: "Arter this arternoon this arternoon's service 
 will be drapped." 
 
 A good man said his wife was just "gittin' bet- 
 ter from 'penumia' ". 
 
 Another citizen referred to the new "tarpeter" 
 boats the government was constructing. 
 
93 
 
 Wet Line. 
 
 In Mr. Joseph E. C. Farnham's book, "Memories 
 of my Boyhood Days in Nantucket," he speaks of 
 the little store kept by the respected, innocent and in- 
 offensive Quaker, Edward Mitchell, whither boys and 
 girls would go for school supplies Naughty boys 
 would sometimes go in in pairs, and while one would 
 engage the attention of the unsuspecting Edward, the 
 other seizing the end of the suspended ball of string 
 would start out of the doorway, with the line a-run- 
 ning, calling out ''wet line, Edward, wet line!" Not 
 being mentally quick enough to seize the scissors and 
 cut the string, he would stand gaping at it as it un- 
 wound, until the whole ball had extended itself up Main 
 street or through Fair street opposite his store. 
 
 The Finishing Touch. 
 
 We may perhaps admire the intensity of purpose 
 and singleness of soul of that Nantucket woman who, 
 having lost her case in court, visited the opposing law- 
 yer and called him every opprobrious epithet which 3he 
 could think of. But after she got home she thought of 
 one more; so she donned her bonnet and shawl, returned 
 to his office and called him that. 
 
 En Passant. 
 
 A knowledge of the island geography is necessary 
 to the proper appreciation of this one. 
 
 Long ago, on the occasion of one of the famous 
 old-fashioned tea-parties, given by the keeper's wife 
 at Great Point, a wagon-load of the guests from town 
 
94 
 
 stopped at Aunt Love's in Folpis to take her with them. 
 But they found the dear old lady much perturbed by 
 some occurrence and in no mood for festivities. She 
 refused emphatically to attend the party, and her 
 friends were obliged to go on without her. They had 
 not been long in their hostess' sitting room at Great 
 Point, however, when Aunt Love walked in upon them, 
 remarking coolly that she "was just going by and 
 thought she might as well stop." 
 
 She Knew Him. 
 
 A certain Nantucket Micawber, whose promise to 
 pay was as good for a dollar as it was for a thousand 
 (and no better) came home one day and announced to 
 his wife that he had bought a horse. "What did you 
 give for it?" asked the wife. "Oh, I gave my note," 
 he answered, blandly. "Cheap enough," quoth the 
 wife, "Why didn't you get a span?" 
 
 Her Mistake. 
 
 The story is told of a good woman who rushed from 
 her home one day and held up the sexton driving along 
 with the hearse. She realized her mistake, and apolo- 
 gizing, said she thought it was the "bake-cart" (mean- 
 ing baker's wagon.) 
 
 Didn't Like Her "Unworried" Attitude. 
 
 A 'Sconseter of a former generation had been "to 
 town" (meaning Nantucket), where he had met con- 
 vivial companions. He finally reached his own door- 
 yard, only to find his better half away. His horse 
 finally put up, he started to find the good wife, whom 
 
95 
 
 he discovered at a neighbor's, having a social sitting. 
 By this time he had become a bit testy, and blurted 
 out: "Oh here you are, settin' as unworried as if the 
 Devil had you, while I've been under the wheel three 
 times." The old fellow had fallen out, as he stated, 
 three times on the homeward trip. He it was who al- 
 ways said, when referring to his boots, that he wore 
 "eightsies. " 
 
 Preparedness. 
 
 Uncle "Liphey" Paddock was of somewhat unus- 
 ual type, and his name will figure again in another 
 story. It is told that the night he died, he roused and 
 inquired of the "watcher" (term used for night nurse 
 in those days) what the hour was. It was then near 
 midnight. He asked what time the tide changed, and 
 was told. "Well," he said, "you go out and get the 
 "board" (there was always a board kept in certain 
 households for "laying out" bodies) and bring it here, 
 for I'll die about the time the tide turns, and I don't 
 want you people running around all excited after a 
 board, and ev'rybody hollerin' 'Is Liphey Paddock dead? 
 Has Liphey Paddock died? You jest git the board, 
 now, and we'll save lots of that fussin.' ' 
 
 To the Rescue. 
 
 Another citizen (a resident of New Dollar lane) 
 is said to have enacted the role of preparedness. He 
 had a nearby neighbor who was given to intoxication, 
 and often there were drunken brawls on the premises. 
 One night in particular things were a little more turbu- 
 lent than usual, and there came the cry: "Murder! 
 
96 
 
 Murder! Help! Help!" Hastening through to his 
 back yard, he caught up the axe lying against the chop- 
 ping block, and going to the back fence, mounted 
 the lower stringer, that he might see into his neighbor's 
 yard, and, waving his axe, shouted: *'I heard the cry of 
 murder, and I've come prepared." Whenever you hear 
 a Nantucketer say he has "come prepared," you may 
 know he refers to the above incident. 
 
 Ready for the Fray. 
 
 An islander who liked the good things of this life 
 went to a tea party at a friend's, and partook heartily 
 of the goodies spread before him. His hostess finally 
 urged him to have more, and he yielded to the gentle 
 persuasion with the remark: Well, don't mind if I do, 
 for I've come with my 'squantum' vest on." And he 
 actually had worn a large size waistcoat, that he could 
 cater to his taste without restraint. 
 
 Millinery Out of the Question. 
 
 A former Nantucket sexton was besought by his 
 daughter for permission to purchase a new bonnet. His 
 reply was: "No, daughter, thee cannot have any new 
 head-gear now, for I haven't buried a living soul for 
 two weeks. " 
 
 Liked to Keep Books. 
 
 The story is told of a respected Portugusese citizen 
 who kept a grocery. A townsman went to the store 
 with his jug for molasses, and when ready, he asked 
 the price, prepared to pay cash, when he was taken 
 aback by this reply: "Feety cents; but if I sharge 
 (charge) him, he be 40 cents." 
 
97 
 
 So Sociable. 
 
 Speaking of their husbands' qualifications, two 
 good widow ladies vied with each other in telling of the 
 merits of their respective respected departed. ''Well, 
 Keziah.I know that Reuben was one who cared for thee 
 diligently; but my Hezekiah was splendid in many 
 ways. He was sociable. He would sit with his feet 
 on the mantel-tree (mantelpiece) and spit, and spit, and 
 spit. Oh! He was so sociable!" 
 
 Belay, All! 
 
 Capt. Stephen Bailey, discussing with friends the 
 merits of careful saving, remarked: ''When you start 
 the standin' riggin' of a five-dollar bill, there's but 
 d— d little left." 
 
 Forty Years Wrong. 
 
 It was on 'Sconset bank, many years ago, that 
 Capt Alex. Bunker, keeper of Sankaty light, was hav- 
 ing a gam with a lot of 'Sconseters, during which he 
 pointed his finger and said: "That's due east from 
 here." "Guess you're mistaken, Capt. Bunker," said 
 one of his hearers. The old skipper, who was of stub- 
 born disposition, took immediate exception to this inter- 
 ference with his opinion, and his opponent, knowing 
 well whom he had to deal with, slipped quietly home 
 and brought forth a compass. Setting it on a post, he 
 remarked: "Now, Captain, satisfy yourself." The old 
 skipper squinted and looked, and looked and squinted, 
 finally blurting out: "Well*, well, Mr. Morris, I've 
 lived in error these forty year." 
 
98 
 
 Hove Him To. 
 
 Uncle Fred had a blacksmith shop on Old North 
 wharf, and was possessed of a bit of sporting blood, so 
 always kept a shot gun at hand, once in a while getting 
 a chance to shoot at a duck. The denizens about the 
 wharves knew of his fondness for shooting and his 
 weakness as a marksman, and often reported when game 
 was in sight. One day a lad, scenting fun, called the 
 good smith's attention to a loon swimming in the dock, 
 and Uncle Fred started out to get him. Bang! went 
 his gun, when the lad shouted: "Did you get him, 
 Uncle Fred?" "No-o-o!" was the reply; but I made 
 him ta-a-a-ck ship!" 
 
 Cherchez la Femme. 
 
 There is a story of one Nathaniel Worth, who, one 
 day when his son called to see him, took the young 
 man out to inspect a new colt, of which he was very 
 proud. As they walked around the animal, which stood 
 by its mother in the barn-yard, suddenly the colt let 
 fly a tiny hoof, and as Nathaniel happened to be in the 
 way, he received a rather severe kick. Seizing a stick 
 the old man began to belabor the mare. "Why, fath- 
 er," remonstrated the son, "it was the colt that kicked 
 you — not the mare." "I know it," said Nathaniel, 
 "but didn't you see her give him the wink?" 
 
 No Regrets ? 
 
 One of thf Husseys sends this one : 
 
 Father and Mother Hussey planned to entertain 
 their relatives at Christmastime, but when the list was 
 made out, the number was appalling, and they won- 
 
99 
 
 dered if they could -do it, without slighting some of 
 them. Mother took a hopeful view of the matter, how- 
 ever, saying, "Oh well, of course they won't all come; 
 probably not more than half. You go ahead, Father, 
 and invite them." So Father started out with the list. 
 He was gone a long time. Mother met him at the door, 
 saying, "Well, how many accepted?" "Not a devil of 
 a one refuses!" was the emphatic reply. 
 
 Call All Hands. 
 
 Alfred Folger's seven sons were, it is said, sum- 
 moned to the noon meal by their mother in this wise : 
 
 "John M. and Henry B., 
 William A. and Hiram C, 
 Alfred. Charles and Roland C, 
 Wash up and come to dinner." 
 
 Asked for Prayers. 
 
 In some of the Nantucket churches it was formerly 
 customary when a church member sailed on a voyage to 
 the Pacific for his wife to hand in a notice to be read 
 from the pulpit, somewhat to this effect : "Capt. Peter 
 Coffin, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers 
 of the congregation." It so happened on one such oc- 
 casion that an off-island minister happened to be sub- 
 stituting for the regular pastor. We may imagine the 
 sensation produced when it was announced with all due 
 solemnity that "Capt. Peter Coffin having gone to see 
 his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation." 
 
 No Wonder They Prospered. 
 
 During the palmy days of the whaling industry, 
 when Nantucket's sperm and whale oil were lighting 
 
100 
 
 the world, her own streets were dark. Many attempts 
 were made to get the town to introduce a street light- 
 ing system, but the proposition was invariably voted 
 down at the annual town meeting. The unanswerable 
 logic of the argument advanced by its opponents always 
 carried the day. Stated briefly this was: that if the 
 price of oil was low, no one could afford to pay the ex- 
 tra tax necessary, while if the price was high, it would 
 be extravagant, and the town could not afford it. So 
 they exported all their oil, and either groped their way 
 about or remained indoors after dark. 
 
 A Man of Taste. 
 
 Ariel Cathcart (always called Uncle 'Riel) kept a 
 small notions store on Orange street, and displayed in 
 his windows tin-capped glass jars of "stick" candy to 
 tempt the young people's cents to his till. One day 
 two girls visited the emporium, each with a cent, and 
 each requesting a "stick of pep'mint." Lifting the 
 cover, Uncle 'Riel fingered deftly among the bunch of 
 barber-pole sweets, and drawing forth two, touched 
 each to his protruded tongue-tip, and handed them over 
 to the waiting misses with the remark: "Yes, them's 
 pep'mint. " 
 
 W W— Mixed— M M. 
 
 Uncle Alec was a right good cobbler and had the 
 patronage of the leading citizens. He was, unfortu- 
 nately, forgetful, and being aware of the fact, made it 
 a rule to mark in chalk on the sole of every pair of 
 boots brought him to repair the initials of the owner. 
 One day William Worth left footwear to be mended, 
 
101 
 
 and immediately Uncle Alec caught up his chalk and 
 marked on each sole, W W. Later on as he came to 
 these boots, he put the mark W W on each new sole, 
 and stood them aside until he found time to deliver 
 them. Then, taking them up, he saw the marks in re- 
 versed form — M M, and off he trudged with them to 
 Matthew Myrick, who denied the soft impeachment of 
 ownership, when the truth finally dawned on Uncle 
 Alec, who enjoyed the joke on himself as much as oth- 
 ers did who were knowing to the story. 
 
 According to Her Light. 
 
 A venerable Liberty street woman of some 90 
 summers lived with her daughter. One day the old lady, 
 who was quite active for her years, started to cross 
 the room (which she alone occupied), and unfortunately 
 tripped over a hit-or-miss rug, and fell to the floor 
 heavily. The daughter heard the thud and rushed from 
 the kitchen to find her mother just arising from the 
 floor. Taking hold to assist, she said, "Mother, have 
 you hurt you?" "Have I hurt me, Jeddy (Judith) ! 
 Have I hurt me !! Well, I guess you'd think you'd 
 hurt ye if ye pitched down and your eyes struck fire 
 and your teeth flew!" The old lady, while not serious- 
 ly hurt, had the misfortune to knock out her sole re- 
 maining bicuspid, which had long stood its ground as a 
 sort of carelessly-placed-on-one-side sentinel in the 
 good woman's mouth. 
 
 Liked His Mixed. 
 
 Uncle James Paddock was telling a lot of friends 
 one day that he liked his pork fat and lean, and always 
 
102 
 
 fed his hogs to that end. "How d'ye do it, Uncle 
 Jim?" piped up Barney Coffin. "Oh, that's easy 
 enough," said Uncle Jim. "I jest feed 'em heavy to- 
 day, and tomorrow give 'em nothin'. No trouble 'bout 
 it." 
 
 Knew the Course. 
 
 The story is told of the late Capt. Paul West that, 
 coming on deck one day, he said to the helmsman, 
 "How does she head?" "Nor'west by west, half west, 
 a little westerly," was the reply. "Um-mm!" 
 growled the skipper, "if you could get another west in 
 that course, I'd give you a glass of grog." "Nor' west 
 by west, half west, a little westerly, Captain West," 
 was the quick response. "Come below, you rascal, 
 when your trick at the wheel is up," said the skipper 
 as he started away, grinning. 
 
 There is an old conundrum in verse: 
 
 "The wind was West, 
 
 And West steered we. 
 
 The wind was right aft, 
 
 Now how could that be?" 
 Answer — Paul West had the wheel. 
 
 "Cur'us! VeryCur'us." 
 
 Uncle Cyrus Hussey was employed to saw a limb 
 from a tree, and (as has happened in other instances) 
 sat on the limb while he cut, with the result that he 
 and the limb came to earth together. Later, whenever 
 questioned as to his escapade, his reply was always: 
 "Cur'us! Verycur'us!" 
 
103 
 
 * 'Sauce for the Goose", Etc. 
 
 A local mason was doing a job of mason work in 
 the basement of a leading citizen's house, having with 
 him John, a journeyman. During his stay on the job 
 the boss came across a jug of "Oh Be .Joyful" and 
 helped himself once or twice, undiscovered. Later, John 
 caught on, and watching his opportunity, got to the 
 jug. But the boss discovered him in the act and re- 
 monstrated. John came back with: "Well, I guess 
 
 what's good for is good for John." 
 
 Appearances Sometimes Deceitful. 
 
 A worthy citizen was before the court as defendant 
 in divorce proceedings, during which the presiding jus- 
 tice said, "Well, Mr. , you and Mrs. had 
 
 always lived happily up to the time under considera- 
 tion, had you not?" Quietly the reply came: "Ap- 
 parently." 
 
 "Strike While the Iron's Hot." 
 
 A woman in a somewhat perturbed frame of mind, 
 had a neighbor drop in for a little social call, and final- 
 ly urged her to look after the children for a few min- 
 utes "while I run over to Becky Holmes's to 'sass' 
 her." 
 
 Keen Discrimination. 
 
 Two women were discussing the merits of macker- 
 el and codfish, when one piped up with the remark: 
 "Well, for my part I think mack'rel spawn is fur be- 
 fore codfish breech." (The Nantucketer calls the spawn 
 of the cod "breeches," probably from its resemblance 
 to that article of male attire). 
 
104 
 
 Quite Swell. 
 
 Uncle Frankie thought he would have rice for his 
 dinner one day. He was living alone, his wife being 
 "off-island" for a visit. He was not an expert chef, 
 and poured into the kettle what he deemed would make 
 a good "mess." The vegetable began soon to take on 
 life, and it was not long 'ere Uncle Frankie had all the 
 bowls from the pantry heaping full. The Nantucketer 
 keeps the story alive by using the term "Like Uncle 
 Frankie's Rice" to explain that somebody had too much 
 of a good thing. 
 
 And He Was. 
 
 A local "nebulous policeman," on duty on the 
 "Square," was charged with keeping persons moving, 
 and not permitting loitering on the corners. He came 
 upon the late Charles Henry Webb, who was standing 
 on the curb, and stepping up, said: "You can't stand 
 here!" "But I am," replied Charles Henry. 
 
 Someone once went to sell Mr. Webb some 
 "breeches and chittlings." He went to the door and 
 the man asked: " Want to buy any in'ards?" Webb 
 looked into the pail, and said: "F-f-f-or God's s-sake, 
 whose?" 
 
 Nobody From Cambridge Had Applied. 
 
 A lady summer resident one day stalked into a 
 room in the Town's Building, where the chairman of 
 the Board of Selectmen was sitting, inquired for that 
 personage, and on being presented, broke out irately in 
 
105 
 
 denunciation of the (from her angle of view) careless 
 and unsatisfactory manner in which the garbage of the 
 town was collected and removed. She talked on vigor- 
 ously, the official giving polite attention without an 
 interruption When the good woman had run down, 
 his chairmanship agreed to all she had said, suavely 
 indicated his desire that things could be improved, and 
 closed with the remark: "You may not perhaps know 
 the fact, my good lady, but up to the present we have 
 been unable to get any Harvard graduate to apply for 
 the job, and we are doing the best we can." The lady 
 had a sense of humor and a lot of sound judgment, and 
 fully appreciated the situation, leaving in a greatly 
 comforted mental condition, after thanking the chair- 
 man. 
 
 On the Quiet. 
 The late Charles 'Conor, the eminent New York 
 lawyer, spent his last days as a resident of Nantucket, 
 and patronized the barber shop of Rev. James E. Craw- 
 ford, who was a somewhat garrulous colored preacher 
 as well as a tonsorial artist. On his first visit to the 
 shop, Mr. Crawford was overwhelmed and bestowed ev- 
 ery attention on his new patron, talking his very best 
 all the time. When Mr. 'Conor was seated in the 
 chair, Mr. Crawford asked: "How would you like to 
 be shaved, sir?" "In silence, " was the blunt re- 
 sponse. 
 
 "Some" Day. 
 
 "Well, this is a beautiful morning, Mr. Craw- 
 ford," said a citizen to the veteran colored barber and 
 
106 
 
 preacher. "Yes, yes; perfectly goddeous!" was the 
 response. 
 
 The Rat Hole. 
 
 "Uncle Brown" Gardner was one of the beloved 
 of the Siasconset fishermen of a generation or two ago, 
 and his cottage on Broadway in that village was the 
 nightly rendezvous of the male population. It was there 
 the writer heard this story related. It seems "Uncle 
 Brown," after getting his tide's catch of cod into the 
 fish-house, went home for dinner, later returning to 
 dress the fish for salting. While he was absent, some 
 wag took a rat he had caught and pushed it into the 
 paunch of a big cod. When the old skipper opened up 
 this fish he was amazed to find the rodent, and showed 
 it about among his mates as a rather remarkable feat- 
 ure, and it was long afterwards before he knew the 
 real truth. He enjoyed the joke and always referred 
 to the spot where he was anchored that day as "The 
 Rat Hole." 
 
 Steadying Her Nerves. 
 
 A venerable lady, active for her years, was trip- 
 ping along the street one morning, when she was ac- 
 costed by a maiden lady contemporary with her, but 
 whom she had not met for a long period. "Isn't this 
 
 Mary ? Yes, I thought so, but haven't seen you 
 
 for years. Aren't you out a great deal? See you 
 pass frequently and you must be feelin' pretty smart. 
 I am quite well, but not as well as I wish I was. I'm 
 takin' Moxie." 
 
107 
 
 Artist Should Have Paid Him Well. 
 
 Years ago a popular artist painted a portrait of 
 the late Joseph Starbuck, one of the oil magnates of his 
 time. One day his hired man, Patrick, was called in 
 to see if he recognized it. The Irishman looked at it a 
 long time, and from all angles, and finally burst out 
 with: "Wall, enny man who niver saw Misther Star- 
 buck would know it was him!" 
 
 Knew Art Wherever Found. 
 
 A young man of the town was at a card party 
 given by a friend, there being a large attendance. His 
 luck was with him and he won the leading prize, which 
 the hostess presented with the remark that the article 
 was hand painted. "So are our back steps," blurted 
 the young man. 
 
 "Thee Think and I'll Saw." 
 
 A boy sent on an errand to an old Quaker carpen- 
 ter, found him sawing through the ceiling of his shop. 
 The sight of the stern visage glaring down at him 
 through the hole so startled the boy that he could not 
 remember his errand, but could only stammer: "Fath- 
 er wants — father wants — now — now, father wants" — 
 .The carpenter, noting the boy's trepidation, finally said, 
 not unkindly: "All right, son; thee think and I'll 
 saw," and went on w r ith his work. 
 
 A Tightwad. 
 
 Uncle Bihu Bunker and his good wife Aunt Ruth 
 lived in a house on Main street that was known locally 
 as the Knife-Box, from its peculiar architecture. Aunt 
 
108 
 
 Ruth had been ill for some time. One day the old gen- 
 tleman was on his way down town, when a friend in- 
 quired: "How's Aunt Ruth today, Uncle Bihu?" "0, 
 there she lays, a bill of expense." Hence the expres- 
 sion when a Nantucketer refers to some extravagant 
 person or article as "A bill of expense, like Bihu's 
 wife." 
 
 "Troublous Times." 
 
 Uncle H lived in the south part of the town 
 
 and was of that class of persons who are "always in 
 hot water." One morning a neighbor saw him rushing 
 excitedly about and ventured the question: "Well, 
 
 what's the trouble this morning, Uncle H ?" 
 
 "Trouble! Trouble!! Trouble enough, I tell ye ! My 
 pig's got away, my wife's died, and I can't find my 
 pea jacket! Trouble! Trouble!! Nothin' but trouble!" 
 
 Self Preservation. 
 
 Uncle Christopher was a well-to-do Quaker, as 
 well as a benevolent one. Uncle Al, his neighbor, was 
 also a good soul, but not so well supplied in the way of 
 worldly goods. Thus it frequently happened (the two 
 men being about the same physique) that some of 
 Christopher's half-worn clothing was transferred to 
 Uncle Al. One day the latter, dressed in a long "out- 
 side coat" of his benefactor, was passing through the 
 street, when a bunch of lads, mistaking him for Uncle 
 Christopher, commenced shouting, "Good morning, Un- 
 cle Christopher!" Turning to them, Uncle Al said mild- 
 ly: "Thank thee, lads; thank thee. I trust the Devil 
 will make the same mistake." 
 
109 
 
 The Limit. 
 
 A Nantucket skipper was cruising in high latitudes 
 when one day he noted the mate come below and get his 
 pea jacket from his state-room, put it on and go on 
 deck. The captain soon followed him, when he saw the 
 second officer go and look at the thermometer, which 
 was always fastened to the mizzen-mast, and he, too, 
 went below and donned his pea jacket. A little later 
 the colored cook came aft from his galley, glanced at 
 the mercury, and went off for his jacket. This proved 
 too much for the irascible skipper, who blurted out to 
 the mate: "Here, Mr. , take off that thermome- 
 ter and throw it overboard. It's a pretty how-d'ye-do 
 when a dev'lish nigger cook can't tell when it's cold 
 enough for a pea jacket without looking at one of those 
 d — d things. T' hell with it, overboard." 
 
 Long Time Absent. 
 
 A neighbor dropped in to call on Mary Chase, whose 
 husband had recently "sailed on a Cape Horn voyage." 
 "Well, Mary," she remarked, "how long is it that 
 Paul's been gone?" "Let me see," replied Mary. 
 "Why, day after tomorrow Paul Chase will have been 
 gone three days." 
 
 Wanted Channel Clear. 
 
 An Orange street lady was entertaining a friend 
 from "off island," and suggested to her husband that 
 he procure a team and take them for a drive. The ap- 
 pointed time came, and the team (a horse and beach 
 wagon) was brought by the stable man and left hitched 
 
110 
 
 to the post. The women were helped to the rear seat, 
 when the husband, who was a retired ship-master, of 
 large frame, "let go the bow hawser," clambered to 
 the front seat, and started up the horse. He was an 
 awkward driver, knowing more about sailing ships than 
 directing equines, and he felt a trifle nervous in his 
 new role. Arriving at Martin's lane (a narrow way, 
 with room only for one team) the captain hauled in and 
 headed west. When well into the lane, in which at 
 that time there was a slight curve, he espied Benjamin 
 Sheffield coming from the opposite direction, on the 
 hearse. Then the skipper's nervousness increased mo- 
 mentarily, and finally, unable to control himself longer, 
 he rose from his seat, leaned out over the dasher, and 
 gesticulating violently, shouted in stentorian voice : 
 "Starn all! Starn'all!! with your d— d old hell 
 wagon !!!" There was no resisting such an appeal, 
 and the good-natured sexton soon made a clear channel 
 for the perturbed mariner. 
 
 "Pay Out, Mother!" 
 
 Nantucket boys all looked forward to the day when 
 they could ship for a whaling voyage round Cape Horn. 
 They thought, talked and dreamed whales and whaling 
 from their earliest years. A story comes down to us 
 of a boy of nine who tied one end of his mother's ball 
 of darning cotton to a steel fork, and tried to harpoon 
 the family cat. As the frightened animal sought to 
 escape, mother entered the room and picked up the ball. 
 The boy, intent only on his "whale," shouted, "Pay 
 out, mother! pav out!! There she 'sounds' through the 
 window !" 
 
Ill 
 
 A Mark-Up Sale. 
 
 So many good things have been preserved in the 
 files of the local papers, we must find a place for a few 
 more : 
 
 Samuel B. Romaine, who had a store on Main 
 street, does not appear to be one who had much faith in 
 "mark down" sales. His advertisement in the Inquir- 
 er of July 24, 1833, reads: 
 
 "20 Per Cent Above Cost. 
 As the reduction of stock has become so universal, 
 the subscriber offers for sale all he has on hand at the 
 above advance, in lots to suit purchasers for cash, his 
 object being to make money." 
 
 The following "Card" was published in The In- 
 quirer of January 12, 1833: "The thief who stole a jug 
 of oil from the North Humane House on Great Point, 
 on Sunday last, is requested to return the jug to the 
 place from which he took it; and he may keep the oil 
 to light his crime-stained steps through Purgatory. And 
 no questions will be asked by Caleb Cushman, Supt." 
 
 One of Editor Jenks's esteemed contemporaries 
 having spelled Inquirer with a preliminary E, Mr. Jenks 
 wrote "he'll find himself ill at Es in putting out other 
 people's Is. " 
 
 Someone having taken the editor to task for men- 
 tioning the South tower and omitting to comment on 
 the North one, he hastened to say that a spire has been 
 erected on the North tower 59 feet high from the 
 
112 
 
 ground, that it is a good lookout, is painted and the 
 "materials are almost as durable as the doctrines 
 preached there." 
 
 A 'Sconseter's Will. 
 
 This last will and testament, dated at 'Sconset, 
 May 30, 1841, was unearthed not long ago: 
 
 "I, Obed Gardner, master mariner, now livin at 
 Sconset, write down this will. 
 
 Item. I have cruised with my wife, Huldy Jane, 
 since 1811. We signed articles, in town, before the 
 preacher on Independence Day. I want her and my 
 oldest son Jotham to be Captain and mate in bringin to 
 port whatever I leave and to see that every one of the 
 crew gets the lay as writ down on this paper. I put 
 mother in command. I know sheel be Captain anyway, 
 for six months after we started on our life cruise I 
 found out that I was mate and she was master. I don't 
 mean that she ever mutinied, but I no that whenever 
 we didn't agree she always manoovred to windward. 
 May be it is all right for she could sail closer to wind 
 than I could." 
 
 After a bequest of an interest in the ship Nancy 
 Rotch, then somewhere on the seas, to his son Jotham, 
 the Captain's will goes on: — ■ 
 
 "Item. I want mother to have the house on Union 
 street until she goes aloft. Then I want it to go to the 
 children in equal lays and if any child dies I want the 
 lay of the parent to go to the parent's young ones, but 
 I don't want my daughter Belindy to have anything as 
 long as her husband is livin. He is a lubber, but she 
 has been cruisin with him for years. I haven't got 
 anything partickler agin him, but he doesn't no how to 
 navigate the sea of life. I do believe if he wanted to 
 stop a leak board ship it would be just like him to go 
 
113 
 
 into the hold with an auger and bore a hole threw the 
 plankin to let the bilge water out into the sea. 
 
 But Belindy likes him. That's just like a woman. 
 If I should give the lay out-and-out to her, I am afraid 
 her husband would manoover to get it. So I want 
 mother and Jotham to put it out at interest, and give 
 what comes out of it to her until her husband ships for 
 a corpse below decks in the grave yard. Then she can 
 take the lay and do what she wants to with it." 
 
 The will went on to cut his son "Ezry" out with- 
 out a shilling because he had been disobedient and re- 
 fractory and had run away to sea and to China. Then 
 there was another item : — 
 
 "I want mother and Jotham to settle up things as 
 soon as they can break bulk and make a fair divide be- 
 tween the children. But don't forget what I have writ 
 down about mother and Belindy. I don't think Belindy 's 
 husband will make any fuss about the way I have taken 
 care of her unless she runs head on to the shoals of a 
 lawyer's office. Then look out for squalls. I hope 
 sheel stand off if she sees a lawyer comin thort her 
 bows. " 
 
 The will was witnessed by Jethro Coffin, 2d, Elea- 
 zur Paddack and Shubael Starbuck, but it was never 
 presented in court for probate because the turn of 
 events* made it unnecessary. The Nancy Rotch returned 
 and was sold for a good price. Belindy's husband was 
 drowned by the upsetting of his dory on Miacomet Rip. 
 Ezra returned from China, prosperous and anxious to 
 make amends for past shortcomings, and no one was 
 more delighted to see him than Cap'n Obed. When 
 the latter died, it was at Ezra's suggestion that the 
 whole estate was given to the widow during her life- 
 time. After her death, at the age of 92, it was divided 
 
114 
 
 among the children, except that Ezra gave his "lay 
 to Belindy's oldest boy, who had been named for him. 
 
 We do not know the origin of this quatrain, nor the 
 occasion it is supposed to celebrate, but it was often 
 quoted in the old days: 
 
 They sang "Old Hundred" on the sea; 
 
 The fishes heard the racket, 
 And wondered what the noise could be, 
 
 And who was on the packet. 
 
 The Friends' version of the well-known rhyme 
 
 Thirty days hath September, 
 April, June, and November," etc. 
 
 will be of interest: 
 
 "The ninth, the eleventh, the fourth, the sixth 
 
 Have thirty days to each affixed; 
 All the rest have thirty-one, 
 
 Except the second alone, 
 Which hath twenty-eight, 
 
 Excepting leap year, (once in four} 
 When it hath one day more." 
 
 Varying Degrees. 
 
 "Is thee comfortable, Sarah?" said Cousin Mary 
 to her irascible friend. "Comf 't'ble, Mary! Comf't'- 
 ble! No, I'm never comf 't'ble!" "What I meant, 
 Sarah, was, is thee any les3 comfortable than usual?" 
 
Chapter IX. 
 
 TWENTIETH CENTURY ANECDOTES. 
 
 QLO many good modern stories have found their way 
 s^r into the Scrap Basket from time to time that the 
 compilers have thought best to devote a separate chap- 
 ter to these more recent contributions to our budget of 
 humor. 
 
 Many amusing incidents are related by our summer 
 visitors of their experiences with the carriage drivers 
 who, for a modest stipend, will drive the unsuspecting 
 stranger through the town or over the island roads, de- 
 scribing ''all the points of interesf'after a fashion of 
 their own. A few of these bon mots have been pre- 
 served : 
 
 Vide Inscription. 
 
 A young driver, evidently not to the manner born, 
 or at least unversed in the island traditions, took his 
 passengers through Winter street and pointed out the 
 Coffin School. Asked as to the identity of its founder, 
 he replied: "Well, 1 don't know much about him, ex- 
 cept that 'twas a feller by the name of Bart." 
 
 Pitied Their Ignorance. 
 
 Another, quite as evidently very much to the man- 
 ner born, and proud of the fact, confided to a friend, 
 after conducting a party about the town, that he had 
 
116 
 
 been asked what those platforms were on the top of 
 many of the houses. "I told 'em they were 'walks,' 
 he added, "but I don't know where they'd been all 
 their days." 
 
 We Can't Fathom This One. 
 
 A party driving through the Sauls Hills country 
 asked the local Jehu where all the big boulders which 
 dot the landscape in that part of the island came from. 
 "Oh, them?" was the reply. "Them was left by the 
 glaciers. At least, that's what the glaciers claim." 
 
 Sympathetic, but Practical. 
 
 One of the old "Cap'n's" who drove a carriage 
 during the summer months for many years, noting that 
 one of his passengers, a lady, who occupied the front 
 seat with him, was dressed in deep mourning, inquired 
 sympathetically: "Met with a loss, madam?" The 
 lady, though somewhat taken aback by the question, 
 replied quietly, "Yes." After a pause he asked, still 
 sympathetically, "husband?" Again, from the lady, 
 "Yes." Another pause, then, most sympathetically, 
 "hope he left you comf 'table." 
 
 Had Been -Off." 
 
 A Nantucket school teacher in the primary grade 
 asked her pupils one day how many of them had ever 
 been off island. One little girl, whose history the 
 teacher happened to be very well informed about, was 
 among those who raised their hands. "Why, Polly," 
 she said, "I didn't know you had ever been off island. 
 When did you go?" "One day last summer," replied 
 
117 
 
 the little six year old, "papa took me down to Brant 
 Point, and I took off my shoes and stockings and waded 
 right off. " 
 
 Free Grace. 
 
 Another little "daughter," making a visit to Bos- 
 ton, was taking her first meal at a hotel. After the 
 soup was served and they had begun to eat, she sudden- 
 ly remarked: "O, say, nobody asked a blessing." 
 "Why, Helen," reproved her sister, two years older, 
 "we pay here !" 
 
 Jordan's a Hard Road to Travel. 
 
 A Nantucket boy, having obtained his high school 
 diploma, went to Boston to seek his fortune. After a 
 time he "secured a situation," as the home paper puts 
 it, in one of the big department stores. Being young, 
 however, and his duties arduous, the pull of the old 
 home was pretty strong, and nostalgia having won the 
 day, he threw up his job as summer approached and 
 went back to his good mother, who, after greeting him 
 affectionately and providing him with a good hot sup- 
 per, asked anxiously: "Well, and what did Mr. Jordan 
 say when you left?" 
 
 A Kind Employer. 
 
 Another boy, after a year in a New York office, 
 was granted the customary fortnight's vacation, which, 
 as might be expected, he elected to spend on the isl- 
 and. Having a grand good time, without consulting 
 his employer, he overstayed his leave several days. 
 About the time he thought of starting back he received 
 
118 
 
 a letter from the office advising him that his vacation 
 was indefinitely extended. This so pleased his innocent 
 old mother that she took the letter round to all the 
 neighbors, "just to show what a nice man Georgie 
 worked for. ' ' 
 
 Some School Stories. 
 
 "English as she is taught" produces much the 
 same results in the Nantucket schools as elsewhere, ap- 
 parently. On one occasion the late Dr. Sharp, who was 
 an authority on marine biology, spoke on that subject 
 to the pupils of the high school. Part of the informa- 
 tion imparted had to do with the spawning habits of 
 certain molluscs. The principal having asked the pu- 
 pils to write out what they could remember of the lec- 
 ture, one boy carefully noted and reported the interest- 
 ing fact that "oysters always spoon in August." 
 
 Another incident is related of a girl pupil who 
 glibly recited her well-learned history lesson to the ef- 
 fect that during a certain battle the attacking army 
 ascended the hill "pantaloon after pantaloon " 
 
 Another boy gave the definition of bullion as "a 
 little bull." 
 
 The Retort Courteous. 
 
 As evidence of the fact that despite the foregoing 
 stories, our educational system does "take"sometimes, 
 it is a pleasure to relate the following, which would 
 seem almost too good to be true were it not vouched for 
 on the best of authority. 
 
 A Nantucket boy went up on the Ocean House ve- 
 
119 
 
 randa, and accosted a complacent looking fat gentleman 
 who sat with his feet on the rail : 
 
 "Want to buy any pond lilies?" said the boy. 
 
 "No, I guess not," said the man; "Making any 
 money, bub?" 
 
 "A little," was the reply. 
 
 "What do you sell when they're ain't no pond- 
 lilies?" was the next question. 
 
 "Oh, sometimes one thing and sometimes anoth- 
 er", replied the boy. 
 
 "Humph! Don't you go to school?" 
 
 "Oh yes; when there is any. School is closed 
 now. ' ' 
 
 "Do you go to school on Nantic":et?" 
 
 "Yes, sir." 
 
 "Oh, they have a school here, then, do they?" 
 
 "Oh, yes sir." 
 
 "Well, what do they learn you in school?" 
 
 "Why, they teach us grammar and other things." 
 
 He Knew His Place. 
 
 That the local boatmen, no less than the carriage 
 drivers, are responsible for their share of the humors 
 of life, is shown by one or two "scraps" which have 
 reached us. They like nothing better than to get one 
 of those amateur sailors oi the common or piazza vari- 
 ety out "back of the rips," and soak a little of the 
 brine out of him. 
 
 "What would you do," asked the skipper of a cat- 
 boat on one such occasion, addressing a jolly fresh wa- 
 ter tar in a smart yachting cap, if you were aboard 
 
120 
 
 ship and the old man should sing out: "Hey, you Jack, 
 lay aloft there and clew up that fore-to-gallant star- 
 board studd'n's'l boom iron?" After a moment's deep 
 thought, Percy, with a keener perception of the situa- 
 tion and his relation to it than he had perhaps been 
 given credit for, replied with conviction: "I should go 
 right straight home!" 
 
 Courtesy Has Its Limits. 
 
 Nantucket skippers are always prudent, and usual- 
 ly courteous to the last degree, but we can hardly con- 
 done, though we may well understand, this example of 
 pardonable exasperation or the part of one of them at 
 the helm of a boat bound for Wauwinet, with a stiff 
 breeze from the east'ard, and a boat-load of passengers, 
 wearied and grown careless by a constant repetition of 
 apparently senseless tack-tics : "Ready about, now! 
 Ready about! Hard-a-lee! Low bridge,- there! Low 
 bridge!! Low Bridge!!! — Well, I shan't say it again, 
 and (sotto voce) I don't care a d — n if some of ye do 
 get a crack on the head!" 
 
 A Patent Boat. 
 
 "But you can't get home if the wind is dead 
 against you, can you?" inquired an anxious passenger, 
 as they started back from Great Point in a "smoky 
 sou-wester." "Oh yes," replied the skipper, reassur- 
 ingly* "You see I had this boat made with two sides 
 on purpose, so that when she couldn't sail on one tack, 
 she could on the other. It's the only boat in these wa- 
 ters that's built just that way." And the passenger, 
 
121 
 
 her confidence in the adaptability of the craft and the 
 sagacity of its skipper restored, curled up in her oil 
 skins and took a nap. 
 
 He Needed "A Voyage to Learn." 
 
 "I didn't ask for a round-trip ticket," exclaimed 
 an irate passenger on the Gay Head, en route to Nan- 
 tucket, as the purser detached the Woods-Hole-to-N an- 
 tucket coupon and handed back the return portion of 
 the ticket. "I don't want that for anything, you can 
 keep it," he persisted, as the purser pressed the slip 
 on h'm. "Whv, you'll need it to come back on, won't 
 you?" said the official. "Not at all, sir," was the 
 haughty reply, "Not at all! I intend to return some 
 other way." 
 
 "Not Unless She's Got Fins." 
 
 This reminds us of the incident reported some 
 years ago by the superintendent of the Nantucket Rail- 
 road when he received a telegram from the lost ca 
 tracer of some Western railroad asking him if freight 
 car No. so and so had by any chance strayed onto the 
 Nantucket road, and got side-tracked. 
 
 Oh for the Wings of a Dove. 
 
 A super-annuated mariner served for many years 
 as custodian of the old Atheneum museum. On one 
 occasion a party of excursionists arrived late in the af- 
 ternoon and wanted to see the collection. As was his 
 custom, the old man took them about the room, ex- 
 plaining the various curiosities and relics. Having con- 
 cluded the rounds and the visitors showing no signs of 
 
122 
 
 going, though it was then past closing time and his five 
 o v clock "tea" was waiting, he started in again, think- 
 ing that a repetition of even a part of his lecture would 
 prove a sufficient hint and have the desired effect. But 
 not so. The visitors drank in his words with the same 
 avidity as before, and apparently expected him to go 
 through it all again. Finally, seizing a big club from 
 one of the shelves, he swung it loosely in his hand as he 
 pattered on: "This, ladies and gentlemen, is a genuyne 
 war club used by the savages of the Fiji Islands — I 
 wish to God I was there!" 
 
Chapter X. 
 
 EXPRESSIONS AND IDIOMS. 
 
 SHE Compilers have here undertaken to set down al- 
 phabetically some of the more common words, nau- 
 tical expressions and idiomatic sayings which are char- 
 acteristic of the Nantucket speech. Many of them are 
 heard elsewhere along the coast, and some are of uni- 
 versal use even far from the sea, but not a few of them 
 are quite peculiar to this section. Every term given 
 will no doubt suggest many others, and a book could 
 easily be compiled on this one subject; but we have 
 simply jotted down those expressions which have occur- 
 red to us, in the belief that even a limited glossary of 
 such terms would be of interest, leaving to others the 
 interesting task of extending the list until it may some 
 time, perhaps, be fairly complete. Some of the words 
 quoted are very difficult to define. Though we have 
 heard them all our lives, and know exactly what they 
 mean when we hear them, there seem to be no syno- 
 nymns for many of them, and the exact shade of mean- 
 ing is sometimes difficult to indicate. 
 
 A 
 
 "Adrift" — Nantucketers use this word constantly in 
 the sense of loose or unfastened: as "a blind on 
 the house got adrift in the gale"; also to ex- 
 
124 
 
 press general disorder as "everything was all 
 adrift." 
 
 "Aloft" — High up, or above, as "I'm going aloft (up- 
 stairs) to bed;" or "I put the thing up aloft." 
 
 "All Sail Set" — Hurriedly; sometimes, fully dressed. 
 "He was going 'all sail set' for home." "She 
 had 'all sail set' for the party." 
 
 "Alongside" — Meaning obvious. In very common use. 
 
 ' 'Amidships" — The middle 
 
 "An Anchor to Windward" — Prudent — prepared to 
 meet an emergency. 
 
 "Anchor It" - To put a weight on anything; or secure 
 it so it won't get "adrift." 
 
 "Any Port in a Storm" — Meaning obvious. 
 
 "Astern" — In the rear of, or behind. 
 
 "Astern the Lighter" — Tardy, lagging behind; a light- 
 er being a slow-moving craft used for transferring 
 cargo, to be "astern the lighter" is to be rather a 
 laggard, and the term is used in a contemptuous 
 sense, as "Oh, he's always astern the lighter!" 
 
 "Athwart, athwartships (or 'thwartships) "—Cross- 
 wise, as '"thwartships of the bench." Speaking of 
 an operation, a Nantucketer said: "they cut him 
 'thwartships. " 
 
 "Athwart the bow" — Passing in front of. 
 
 "At Loggerheads" — At variance; opposed. 
 
 "At Sea" — Uncertain, undetermined; as "I was all at 
 sea as to what to do next." Also, wrong or in 
 error; as "he was all at sea about the matter." 
 
125 
 
 B 
 Back of the Rip" — The dangerous shoals and sand- 
 bars which surround the island are known as 
 "rips"; the islanders have a way of consigning 
 any annoying person or thing to a point beyond 
 these obstructions to navigation, from which it 
 would be difficult if not impossible to return. Ex- 
 ample : "I wish he (or it) was back of the rip!" 
 
 Back and Fill" — To vaccillate, to be unsteady or in- 
 firm of purpose. 
 
 Bare Poles" — This term is used to indicate scanty 
 raiment; as, "she was scudding under bare 
 poles. " 
 
 Beat" — To tack, to make headway against the wind 
 by changing the course frequently. We do not say 
 "tack to windward," but "beat to windward," 
 though otherwise the two words are practically 
 synonymous. 
 
 Beating or Beating Up"— Tacking, making head 
 against the wind or other adverse conditions. 
 
 Beats the Pattern" — Clever, remarkable. 
 
 Belay" — To hold, to stop, to make fast. 
 
 Below" — Obviously the opposite of aloft, used in the 
 same way, as applying to down stairs or down cel- 
 lar. 
 
 Berth" — Situation; as, "he has secured a berth with 
 Jones & Co." Sometimes used as a verb to indi- 
 cate locating oneself comfortably ; as, "he berthed 
 at Cousin Sarah's." 
 
126 
 
 "Better Weather" —Easier times, improved conditions, 
 as "let's hope he'll make better weather of it 
 now"; also used as a verb, meaning clears or im- 
 proves; "there she better-weathers" means that it 
 is clearing up after a storm. 
 
 "Bow On" — Head on, face to face, as "I saw him 
 coming bow on." 
 
 "Bows Under" — Laboring heavily, as a ship in a head 
 
 sea. 
 "Born in the Middle of the Week and Looking Both 
 
 Ways for Sunday" — A queer old local expression 
 
 applied to a very cross-eyed person. 
 
 C 
 
 ' Came out of the Bureau Drawer" — (sometimes the 
 top drawer) —Meaning fresh, dainty, clean. 
 
 'Carry On" — To be gay or reckless. An imprudent 
 skipper was said to carry on (sail). This term, 
 though originally used in the nautical sense, im- 
 plying recklessness, has come to be used to express 
 any lively good time, in the sense that the verb to 
 train is sometimes used. 
 
 "Cannikin Tub" — A wooden pail, with straight sides, 
 hooped and with a close-fitting wooden cover. The 
 term is an old one, but though in constant use to- 
 day by Nantucketers, most off-islanders are puz- 
 zled by it. 
 
 "Chock," "chock-full," "chock-a-block" and "chock- 
 a-block full" — are all nauticalisms in general use, 
 but more commonly used among a seafaring peo- 
 
127 
 
 pie than elsewhere, and Nantucketers employ these 
 various terras on all occasions. Each has its par- 
 ticular shade of meaning when correctly used. 
 
 "Clip In"— To run in for a short visit,as "I think I'll 
 clip in to Mary's on the way home." It implies a 
 hurried call, and if the visitor announces that he 
 just clipped in, he is not expected to tarry more 
 than a few minutes. 
 
 ''Clipper Built" — A well-set-up man or woman is re- 
 ferred to as clipper built — that is, trim, trig and 
 up-to-date. 
 
 "Close Aboard" — Very near. 
 
 "Close to the Wind" — Hard pressed or hard up, physi- 
 cally, financially or .otherwise. 
 
 "Cock-billed" — Awry ; out of plumb. 
 
 "Come About" — To turn round, to change the course, 
 as a ship when tacking against the wind. Much 
 used in a figurative sense by the islanders. 
 
 "Come Aboard" — A welcome to the coming guest, or an 
 invitation to a passer-by or a casual visitor to ac- 
 cept one's hospitality. 
 
 "Continent, the" — The islander's name for the main- 
 land of North America. 
 
 "Coof" — An "off-islander," said to have been applied 
 originally only to Cape Codders. 
 
 "Commons" — Unlike most old New England towns, 
 Nantucket never had a Common, but it did have 
 thousands of acres of "commons, " that is, undivid- 
 ed lands held in common by the early proprietors 
 
128 
 
 and their successors. Until recent times all the 
 unfenced lands on the island were called "the 
 commons" and it is only since the advent of the 
 summer folks in the last generation that we have 
 come to call them "the moors," which, by the 
 way, is said to be a misnomer, as they are not 
 moors at all in the true meaning of that word, but 
 rather heath lands or heath. 
 
 Cornstarch Airs" — Stiff, formal manners. 
 
 Course and Distance" — Mean much to the islander, 
 and are constantly employed in conversation. To 
 say that a boat or a vessel was a mile to the 
 south'ard headed nor'west tells the story in a word. 
 So, when speaking of meeting an acquaintance, he 
 says "he was headed to the eastward when I saw 
 him." A boy applying for the loan of a saw was 
 told by the owner, an old mariner, "head right 
 through that door, port your helm, haul to the 
 south'ard about ten foot, and you'll find it hung 
 on a nail about hand-spike high." The lad, being 
 island-bred, found the saw. The stranger is di- 
 rected to a certain house as on the north, east, 
 south or west side of the street, and is expected to 
 find it without a compass. At one of the old-time 
 "huddles," (as dancing parties were then called) 
 the prompter leaned over the rail of the suspended 
 band-stand and shouted in perfect time to the mu- 
 sic: "Chassez a little to the north'ard, and shet 
 that door!" The door was promptly closed by one 
 of the dancers, and the wintry draught shut out. 
 
129 
 
 "Craft"— This word is often given a personal applica- 
 tion. Respect or contempt are expressed by such 
 terms as "She's quite a craft," or "He's a poor 
 craft." Eccentricity is implied in the term "a 
 queer craft." 
 
 "Cruise" — A word in very common use, both as a verb 
 and as a noun, being in either case pronounced 
 with the sharp s sound, as if it were spelled 
 "crooce." Any outing or vacation trip is called 
 a cruise, and we speak of cruising about town, out 
 west'ard way, or "just down-along." 
 
 "Cut of His Jib" — General appearance, physique, 
 clothes, and general get-up. By this do we judge 
 of a person, and "size him up." 
 
 D 
 
 "Dandy Funk"--A sailor's pudding— see sub-title 
 "Tid-bits," following this list. 
 
 "Doctor, the"— the name by which the cook is always 
 known at sea. 
 
 "Douse the Glim"— To put out the light; not local, 
 but one of the slang nautical terms which still lin- 
 gers. 
 
 "Down Along" — Many Nantucketers, when asked as to 
 where they are bound, reply "Oh, jest down 
 along." No one has ever been able to locate just 
 where this popular destination is located. The 
 North Shorer, the Upper Main Streeter, or the 
 Chicken Hiller means when he uses it, that he is 
 going down town. The Newtowner gives it the 
 
130 
 
 same meaning, but he also uses it to express a 
 port in the opposite direction, as when he heads 
 for home. The Under-the-Banker also uses it to 
 indicate both up town and down town. We have 
 always heard of people who were going there, but 
 we never knew any one to arrive. "Up-along" 
 is sometimes heard, but much less frequently. 
 
 "Down by the Head" — A vessel loaded heavily for- 
 ward, so as to put her bow too deep in the water, 
 is said to be "down by the head" and the expres- 
 sion is sometimes applied to a person bowed by age 
 or infirmity. 
 
 "Drifting or Drifting Round" — Going aimlessly from 
 place to place, with no definite destination. 
 
 "Draws Lots of Water" — Influential, substantial, of 
 some importance. 
 
 E 
 
 "Ease Off" — To give way slowly, as in argument. 
 
 "Even Keel" — Upright. This expression is very fre- 
 quently used by the native islanders, and in such 
 manner as the following: Passing a well-filled 
 bowl of liquid to another, the housewife may be 
 heard to say, "Now keep it on an even keel, so's 
 not to spill." Or referring to some unstable 
 thing: "I had hard work to keep the thing on an 
 even keel." 
 
 "Everything Drawing" — Making the best possible 
 progress in any enterprise. It conveys the idea 
 that, whatever a person maybe doing, he has called 
 
131 
 
 to his assistance every available factor to facili- 
 tate his work, as the mariner trims every sail so 
 that it may best catch the breeze and "draw." 
 
 F 
 "Fair Wind" — In wishing well a parting guest, one 
 says, "A fair wind to you." It is used also in 
 speaking of a streak of luck, as "he struck a fair 
 wind." 
 
 "Fall To" — To begin work; often, to begin eating a 
 meal. 
 
 "Fare"— The total catch, as "a big fare of fish." 
 
 "Fast" — Attached. The whaleman and fisherman get 
 fast to whale or fish, while if one's clothing is 
 caught in some projection, it is referred to as 
 "got fast to an old spike" (or whatever the offend- 
 ing projection may have been). The term "make 
 fast" is to suggest attaching boat, horse, any- 
 thing to some stable object. 
 
 "Fathom" — To understand, grasp the meaning or to 
 penetrate the sense of. 
 
 "Figure Nine with the Tail Cut Off"— That is, noth- 
 ing; of no account or consequence. 
 
 "Fin Out" — "All in," as we say nowadays. A dying 
 whale rolled over and showed his fin. So the 
 whalemen used to say, when a man was very sick 
 or badly hurt, "he was pretty nigh fin out." 
 
 "First" — Eager, anxious; as "he was quite first to go 
 
132 
 
 the voyage." This is a curious and, apparently, 
 quite local use of this word. 
 
 "Flax" — To gad about, to hustle, as "flax around and 
 get something on the table for dinner." 
 
 "Fleet" — To move, especially to move over, to change 
 the position of. 
 
 "Foopaw" — A bungling job; to make a foopaw of a 
 thing is to make a mess of it. Said to be a cor- 
 ruption of the French faux pas, picked up from 
 the French whalers in the Pacific. 
 
 "Fudge" — To bother, to fool or "bamboozle." 
 
 G 
 
 "Gaily" — To frighten, to terrify; more often used 'in 
 the perfect participle from "gallied," meaning 
 nervous, uncertain as to what to do next, "rat- 
 tled" — applied to a whale when alarmed. 
 
 "Galley" — The sailor's name for the cook-house aboard 
 ship; often applied to the kitchen of a house. 
 
 "Galley West" — An odd sailor's expression, often 
 heard, but the origin of which is obscure. To 
 strike or hit a thing so as to demolish it or knock 
 it over is to "knock it galley west." The galley 
 doubtless refers to the cook-house. But why west 
 rather than east, or any other point of the compass? 
 
 "Gam" — A social visit and talk. Originally this term 
 was applied to a school of whales, and its use by 
 the whalemen is doubtless derived from that 
 source. Whaleships meeting at sea, often hove 
 
133 
 
 to, and the captains would visit back and forth 
 during the time the ships were in company. Under 
 certain conditions the crews were allowed the priv- 
 ilege also. The word was used both as a noun 
 and as a verb, and it is still very frequently heard 
 among Nantucketers. One says, ''I met so-and-so 
 today, and we had a grand gam together," or "we 
 gammed for an hour or more." 
 
 "Get the Drift" — To catch the meaning of; also to 
 get in touch with latest news and gossip, as "I'm 
 going down town to get the drift." 
 
 "Gingerbread Cut the Right Way" — Is an old-time 
 
 expression denoting that some matter has been 
 
 satisfactorily settled for the person under con- 
 sideration. 
 
 "Go Ashore to Windward" — Said of a person who 
 would go wrong with no excuse. 
 
 "Going by the Board" — Neglected, decaying, dilapi- 
 dated; a building, a boat, a road, or a business 
 which is not looked after and taken care of is said 
 to be "fast going by the board." 
 
 "Gone to Bottom" — When a Nantucketer drops a 
 thing, he is apt to speak of it as having gone to 
 bottom. 
 
 "Greasy Luck" — To wish a whaleman greasy luck 
 meant to wish him a good voyage, with plenty of 
 oil; hence the Nantucketer uses it in well-wishes 
 to his friends in any proposed venture. To say on 
 
134 
 
 parting, "Well, greasy luck to you!" is to say 
 "bon voyage I" 
 
 "Greenhorn" — An inexperienced person, a "tender- 
 foot." 
 
 "Gunwale Deep" — (pronounced "gunnel deep") -Heav- 
 ily loaded, that is, loaded to the gunwale, the up- 
 per edge of the side of a boat. 
 
 H 
 
 "Hail" — To call or speak to, as "I was going by and 
 he hailed me." In very common use on the island 
 in this sense. Also used as a synonymn for 
 "come" in such expressions as "Where do you 
 hail from?" 
 
 "Half Seas Over"— Half drunk. 
 
 "Hatch" — Applied to any trap door, or a door at the 
 head of a flight of stairs. 
 
 "Hatches Battened Down" — All secure and tightly 
 closed to keep the wind and rain out. 
 
 "Head Boat" — First, in the lead; used in a compli- 
 mentary sense, as "he was usually head boat;" or 
 perhaps sarcastically, as "oh, she always wants 
 to be head boat." 
 
 "Home Port" — The place where one lives; much used 
 among the island folk. 
 
 "Head Wind" — Reverses or difficulties to be overcome, 
 as "he's having a head wind getting his hay in." 
 
 "Heave" — This verb is used in its various forms, in 
 the sense of throw or cast. 
 
135 
 
 "Heave To" — To come to a stop; in the perfect par- 
 ticiple form, "hove to," it means stationary, at a 
 standstill. 
 
 "Heave in sight" — To come into view. 
 
 "Heave your Anchor Short" — Get ready to go; as the 
 hour grows late, and it's time to go home, father 
 says "Come, mother, heave your anchor short." 
 This does not mean to start at once, but to get 
 wraps, etc., and prepare for departure. 
 
 "Hitch" — This word has many uses, both as noun and 
 verb, and is indispensable to the islander's vocab- 
 ulary. In addition to its more common uses, he 
 speaks, perhaps, of the next hitch, meaning the 
 next attempt, or of a hitch (a delay or obstruction) 
 in the proceedings. To "hitch along" is to move 
 over. It is also used to imply making fast. 
 
 "Hoist" — Most old Nantucketers prefer this word to 
 either lift or raise. They "h'ist" the basket on 
 to the table, the box into the cart, and even the 
 food to the mouth. The word has another odd use, 
 in a sort of a perverted sense, meaning a fall, as 
 "the staging gave way, and he got a bad h'ist." 
 There seems to be no explanation of this use of 
 the term. 
 
 "Hooked In" — Walking arm in arm. In the old days 
 an unmarried couple seen on the street "hooked 
 in" were supposed to be engaged, and the gossips 
 would say "oh, they must be engaged, for I saw 
 them on Main street hooked in." 
 
136 
 
 'Hot Water and Ashes to Leeward" — To understand 
 that leeward (pronounced looard) is the direction 
 in which the wind is blowing, is sufficient explan- 
 ation of this old phrase borrowed from the sailors. 
 
 'Hull Down" — Just showing above the horizon, as the 
 masts and sails of a ship; hence to see only the 
 head and shoulders or the upper part of a person's 
 body abuve a fence, a hedge or a snow bank, is to 
 see him "hull down." 
 
 I 
 "In Charge of the Ship" — Applied to anyone upon 
 whom responsibility rests during the absence of 
 the owner or boss. It is often used in defining the 
 duties of a care-taker. 
 
 "In the Doldrums" — Making no progress; hence dull, 
 listless, perhaps sulky and dissatisfied. The Dol- 
 drums is the sailor's name for that part of the 
 ocean near the equator, where, at certain seasons, 
 the winds are light, variable and baffling, with 
 calms and squalls interspersed, and little progress 
 can be made by a sailing ship. 
 
 "In the Suds" — In the thick of things, especially in a 
 social way, as "oh, she's right in the suds." 
 
 "It Takes a Voyage to Learn" — Equivalent to "expe- 
 rience is the best teacher." This is often quoted 
 as an excuse for mistakes or inefficiency due to in- 
 experience. 
 
137 
 
 "Jadehopper" — A curious old word applied to a lewd 
 or vicious woman, or sometimes to one who is only 
 mischievous and lively. 
 
 K 
 
 "Kettle Halyards," or sometimes "Kitchen Halyards" 
 —refers to domestic duties, especially of a culinary 
 nature or work in the kitchen. In the absence of 
 the mother, a child was often left to "tend the 
 kettle halyards. " 
 
 "Keel Out" — Literally, of course, upside down, but 
 used to express illness, as "I've been keel out for 
 a week with the grip." 
 
 "Know the Ropes" — To be familiar with anything or 
 well posted. See reference in Chapter II — "Sea 
 Yarns and Sayings." 
 
 L 
 
 "Laboring Oar" — The heavy part of the work; a per- 
 son who does more than a fair share, as compared 
 with his fellows, is said to "pull the laboring 
 oar." 
 
 "Land" — As a verb, to disembark, or to bring to the 
 shore, as "he landed a hundred fish today." 
 
 "Last Out the Voyage" — Sufficient for the time set. 
 
 "Late On the Tide" — Delayed, belated. 
 
 "Lay" — A share, a percentage. All whaling voyages 
 were conducted on the profit-sharing basis, each 
 man interested, from the owners and captain down 
 
138 
 
 to the greenhorn and boy, getting a proportionate 
 part of the proceeds. The word has lingered in 
 common use in the island speech. 
 
 "Lay of the Land" — The existing conditions and cir- 
 cumstances. To get the lay of the land is to get 
 posted and acquaint one's self with all the condi- 
 tions. 
 
 "Lee Day" — An open or free day, with no special job 
 on hand. 
 
 "Lee Set" — A low bank of clouds to leeward — some- 
 times presaging a storm. 
 
 " Loaded to the Bow Thwart" -The bow thwart (the 
 cross-seat of a boat) being higher above the wat- 
 er line than the others, a boat loaded to that point 
 was filled to its reasonable capacity, though not, 
 perhaps, quite "gunwale deep." As used by the 
 islanders it means heavily loaded. 
 
 "Lobscouse" — A sailor's dish — see sub-title "Tid- 
 bits," following this list. 
 
 "Long-sparred" — A person with long limbs. 
 
 "Lower" — As the old-time Nantucketer "h'ists" most 
 everything, rather than raising or lifting it, so he 
 lowers, rather than handing down or dropping a 
 thing. 
 
 M 
 
 "Marriageable" — The use of this word in a certain 
 sense by Nantucketers seems to be rather unique. 
 A woman speaks of some article of wearing appar. 
 
139 
 
 el, furniture, or household decoration as her "mar- 
 riageable, " meaning that the dress was a part of 
 her trousseau, or that the table or picture was a 
 wedding present. Examples: "Jane has kept her 
 marriageable dress all these years, and her daugh- 
 ter will be married in it;" or "that bureau was a 
 marriageable present from my aunt." 
 
 Masthead" —Any point high up, out of reach. If a 
 spring roller shade winds itself to the top of the 
 window, the housewife says, " Well, that's gone to 
 masthead." Anything very high up is said to be 
 "masthead high. " 
 
 Melzer" — A sailor's dish. See sub-title "Tid-bits," 
 following this list. 
 
 Mess"- — Enough for a meal — As a mess of clams, or 
 a mess of birds. When such commodities are 
 scarce they say, "it's hard to get enough for a 
 mess." The word is also used to describe certain 
 dishes for the table, as "I'll fix up a mess for 
 dinner," that is, make a chowder or a stew. 
 
 Miss His Reckoning"' — To lose one's way, to miscal- 
 culate, to make a mistake. 
 
 Misstay" — To make a mistake. 
 
 Muckle" — To work hard under adverse conditions, as 
 "he muckled away at it till he finally got it 
 right;" also to bother or disturb, as "don't muc- 
 kle me now. " 
 
 N 
 Navigate" — This word is employed to express prog- 
 ress by any means of locomotion, walking, riding, 
 
140 
 
 driving, etc. Bad walking is called "bad naviga- 
 ting", and vice versa. 
 
 "Needs to Eat a Piece of Mad Dog" — Is an ancient 
 and expressive term applied to a slow-going, stupid 
 person. 
 
 
 
 "Odd as Huckleberry Chowder" — Is an expressive lo- 
 calism used as a simile for extreme eccentricity. 
 
 "Off" — An abbreviation of "off-island," is very fre- 
 quently heard. One often hears such a remark as 
 "I haven't seen you lately. Have you been Off?" 
 Still more odd is the expression "when did you 
 come On from Off?" 
 
 "Off and On" — This very common expression wherever 
 the language is spoken is undoubtedly of nautical 
 origin, meaning to steer a course first away from 
 and then toward the land. It may frequently be 
 heard here in its original sense, as "cruising off 
 and on. " 
 
 "Off -Island and Off -Islander" — Words in constant local 
 use, and of too obvious a meaning to require defi- 
 nition. 
 
 "Off -Soundings" — In deep water. One who gets be- 
 yond his capacity in an argument is said to be off- 
 soundings, that is, he can't "touch bottom." 
 
 "Old Coot" — A rather disrespectful name for an old 
 person, as "there were a lot of old coots there." 
 
 "Old Town Turkey" — The Nantucketer's name for any 
 resident of Martha's Vineyard; from the town of 
 
141 
 
 Edgartown, which was formerly known as Old 
 Town. 
 
 ''On Deck" — Alert, prepared, ready for anything. 
 
 "On the Stocks" — In process of completion, as "I've 
 got a job of work on the stocks." On the hooks 
 has much the same meaning. 
 
 "On the Ways" — Is used more to imply illness or dis- 
 ability from any cause, that is, "on the ways for 
 repairs. " 
 
 "Over the Bay" — Another name for intoxicated. 
 
 "Over the Bulge" (or Bilge) — The crisis passed; used 
 especially to denote the successful accomplishment 
 of the hardest part of a job or duty. 
 
 P 
 
 "Pass, the" — People on the street. All Nantucketers 
 enjoy "watching the pass." 
 
 "Pernickety" — A survival of old English speech, 
 meaning fussy, particular, especially about trifles. 
 
 "Petered" or "Petered Out" — Used up; exhausted. 
 
 "Piggin" — Another good old word, still used to some 
 extent. It means a small wooden tub, with hoops, 
 and one stave projecting above the rim to form a 
 handle; used as a receptacle for flour, meal or oth- 
 er material. It differs from a cannikin tub, in 
 having the long stave and no cover. 
 
 "Plain Sailing" — A nautical expression in general use 
 everywhere, meaning good, easy going. 
 
142 
 
 "Folpisy" — Countrified, outlandish; a very old local 
 term, dating back to a time when the people of 
 that suburb were, perhaps, less in touch with the 
 civilizing influences of the island's metropolis than 
 at present. "Don't act Polpisy!" was said to a 
 child who was awkward and ungainly. 
 
 "Port" — The left-hand side; very much used by Nan- 
 tucket men and boys. Also, as a noun, to indicate 
 a place or locality, as the last, next or home port. 
 
 "Put Out" — To start; same as "set sail" or "get un- 
 der way. " 
 
 Q 
 
 "Quint" — An abbreviation of quintessence; applied to 
 a "pernickety" old maid; from a local saying de- 
 scribing such a person, "she's the quintessence of 
 old maid stewed down to a half pint." The 
 corresponding adjective is "quinty. " 
 
 R 
 
 "Rantum Scoot" — A term, we believe, peculiar to 
 Nantucket, and very old. It means a day's 
 "cruise" or picnic about the island, usually a 
 drive, but it might be on foot. The distinctive 
 feature of such an excursion is that the party has 
 no definite destination, but rather a roving commis- 
 sion, in which respect such a trip differs from a 
 "squantum" (which see later). "Rantum" is 
 probably a corruption of random. 
 
 "Rig, Rig Out, Rig Up," etc.- — These terms are con- 
 stantly used by the islanders, in common with 
 
143 
 
 most seafaring folk, as substitutes for other words 
 expressing the same meaning in use elsewhere, 
 such as fix, arrange, prepare, make ready, etc. 
 
 "Running Before the Wind" — To be favored by luck, 
 as of a sucessful man it may be said "he's run- 
 ning before the wind now all right." 
 
 S 
 "Sat in the Butter Tub" — Said of one who has fallen 
 into good luck, especially of one who has married 
 well; an expressive phrase, to say the least. 
 
 "Scrabble" — Formerly used to express hustle and 
 haste. 
 
 "Scrap Islander" — The name applied to a Nantucketer 
 by the people of Martha's Vineyard. 
 
 "Scud" — To hurry, to move quickly. A nauticalism 
 much used in general conversation. 
 
 "Seeing the Look" — Noting a family resemblance; us- 
 ually applied in the case of children to parents or 
 to other ancestors. We speak of seeing the "Fol- 
 ger look" or the "Starbuck look." 
 
 "Set Sail" — To start, to depart, to "get under way." 
 It is not in the literal or formal use of these terms 
 that our interest lies, but in their every-day fig- 
 urative use, as "it's time to set sail for home," 
 or, on the occasion of a picnic or a cruise, "there 
 were so many things to do we didn't 'set sail', or 
 'get underway' till the middle of the forenoon." 
 
 "She Rig" — A contemptuous term, reflecting on the 
 
144 
 
 weaker sex, applied to anything which is not prop- 
 erly made, set up or put together— in direct oppo- 
 sition to 
 
 "Ship Shape" — Implying masculine skill and efficiency. 
 "Everything ship-shape" means all in perfect or- 
 der and condition. 
 
 "Shooler" — The old English verb "shool" is rarely 
 heard, but its derivative, "Shooler" is still used 
 occasionally, and is applied to any one who likes 
 to roam about the shores or over the commons in 
 search of a "mess" or a "voyage" of fish, clams, 
 berries or game, or for any other object. 
 
 "Sign Articles" — To make an agreement or contract 
 of any kind. 
 
 "Skimming Slicks" — Securing the full limit of return 
 from any effort. A "slick," as used by the isl- 
 anders, refers to the smooth, oily patches often 
 seen on the sea over a school of blue-fish, macker- 
 el or other surface-feeding fish, and which exudes 
 from the small fish or "bait" on which the school 
 are feeding. The full significance of this term 
 will be recognized if one stops to think of the labor 
 necessary to skim the slick and get all there is in 
 it. 
 
 "Skoodle" — To squat or crouch down; rarely heard 
 now, though in common use fifty years ago. 
 
 "Slatch" — A good English word, though somewhat old- 
 fashioned; literally anjnterval of good weather in 
 an otherwise stormy period; but Nantucketers use 
 
145 
 
 it also to express a brief respite from labor or du- 
 ty. An old-time Nantucket housewife, in making 
 a neighborly call during the forenoon, might have 
 said: "I had a little 'slatch' in my work, so 1 
 thought I'd leave Melinda to 'tend the kettle hal- 
 yards', and 'clip in' for a few minutes." 
 
 "Slurrup" — A shiftless, untidy woman; a slattern. 
 The adjective "slurrupy" was also used to de- 
 scribe such a person 
 
 "Snivver" — Here's a queer word, still used occasional- 
 ly. One says "I'll be over to your house snivver 
 dinner." The presumption is that the speaker 
 means "as soon as ever I have had my dinner." A 
 good definition would be: immediately after. We 
 have been unable to find any record of the use of 
 this odd term off-island. 
 
 "Sound" — To inquire into or about, to investigate, as 
 "I'll sound him, and see how he feels about it," 
 or "You'd better sound it carefully before decid- 
 ing " Often used also with the word "out," as 
 "we'll sound it out first." 
 
 "Speak" — To communicate with; used in its nautical 
 sense, this verb is always in a transitive form. 
 Not speak with or to a person, (as in the ordinary 
 sense) but to speak him or her (with no interven- 
 ing preposition). As one ship speaks another on 
 the high seas, so one Nantucketer speaks another 
 on the street. As distinguished from "hailing" — 
 the latter implies distance between the speaker 
 
146 
 
 and the speakee, which is net necessarily the case 
 in "speaking' '. 
 
 "Spell Set" — Difficult to define exactly; an islander, 
 delayed by annoying circumstances from accom- 
 plishing any object in view, will say there was a 
 "spell set" against him. It would seem to have 
 some connection with the tides. 
 
 "Spitting Image" — A rather inelegant term, implying 
 a striking resemblance, as of a child to a parent; 
 but why "spitting" no one seems to know. 
 
 "Splice the Main Brace" — Old English nauticalism for 
 taking a drink ; always understood, afloat or 
 ashore, by the bibulous brotherhood. 
 
 "Squantum" — Doubtless of Indian origin; the Nan- 
 tucketer's name for a party outing or picnic- — dif- 
 fering from a "rantum scoot" (see before) in that 
 a squantum usually implies some definite destina- 
 tion for the cruise. 
 
 "Square the Yards" — To settle up, to balance an ac- 
 count. 
 
 "Stand Off" — To keep away, to avoid; as a ship 
 stands off from the shore; "stand-offish" is much 
 used as an adjective to imply exclusiveness. 
 
 "Steer Clear" — To shun, to avoid, to keep away from, 
 to avoid colliding with; one of those nautical ex- 
 pressions which is in universal use ashore. 
 
 "Stingaree" — A name given to an annoyingly persis- 
 tent person. 
 
147 
 
 •'Strange Sail" — Any stranger within our gates is so 
 referred to. 
 
 "Straight Wake" — A bee line; as "the lad made a 
 straight wake for home." 
 
 'Struck by a Squall" — Demolished or wrecked by the 
 elements or by any accidental means; anything 
 which is in a tumbledown, dilapidated condition 
 is said to look as if it had been struck by a squall. 
 
 "Struck with the Dry Wilt" — A person who looks seedy 
 from illness or other cause is referred tc as look- 
 ing as though he was struck with the dry wilt. 
 
 T 
 "Tack" — To progress in an uneven course, as a boat or 
 vessel against a head wind. 
 
 "Tack Ship" — The same as tack, but often used like 
 "come about" to indicate a change of course. 
 
 "Talking Tacks Aboard" — Loquacious, verbose. 
 
 "Tall as the Mainmast" — Said of a very tall person. 
 
 "Taken Aback" — Surprised, astonished, dumbfounded; 
 
 from a ship catching the wind on the wrong si^e 
 
 • of its sails, when it is said to be "taken aback." 
 
 "Take in Slack" — To gather in the loose end; hence 
 to render minor assistance in any operation. 
 
 "Taking a Lunar"— To look about, to observe condi- 
 tions from the maritime custom of taking a lunar 
 observation. Many old Nantucketers step out- 
 doors every night and "take a lunar" before 
 "turning in." 
 
148 
 
 "There She Blows"— The lookout's cry on sighting a 
 whale; hence often used by people of a whaling 
 community like ours to denote the first sight of a 
 thing. 
 
 "There She Breaches" (breaks water) "there she white 
 waters," "there goes flukes" (the tail), etc. — all 
 these various cries of the lookout, as he watched 
 the whale while preparations were being made for 
 its pursuit, are quoted by the old-timers on the 
 least provocation when any of them can be made 
 to fit the occasion. 
 
 "This Latitude" — This vicinity or neighborhood. Meet- 
 ing an acquaintance in some unaccustomed part of 
 the town, the islander asks, "What are you doing 
 in this latitude?" or "Aren't you out of your lat- 
 itude?" 
 
 "Three Sheets in the Wind" — Still another name for 
 
 drunk. 
 "Tivis" — To wander aimlessly about. 
 
 "Top Up Your Boom" — Get ready to go; from the 
 custom of hoisting on the topping-lift of a fore 
 and aft sail, before hoisting the sail itself. 
 
 "Turn In and Turn Out" — The sailor's universal terms 
 for going to bed and getting up. Most island men 
 and boys prefer this form to "retire" and "rise." 
 
 "Traipse" or "Trapes" — One of the survivals from 
 old-time speech, meaning to gad or gallivant on the 
 street. (See same under "Some Queer Words We 
 Use" at end of this list). 
 
149 
 
 "Trim" — To load evenly, as a good sailor would 
 "trim" a boat. Also, neat, natty. 
 
 "Trim Sail" — To so order affairs as to meet conditions 
 — as to "trim sail according to your means," that 
 is, to buy only as you can afford. 
 
 "Two Lamps Burning and No Ship at Sea" — An old 
 saying used as a rebuke for extravngance of any 
 kind. 
 
 U 
 "Under Way" — Moving, getting headway on; some- 
 times written (incorrectly, we think) under weigh. 
 
 "Under the Window"' — 'By, at or beside the window 
 seems to be preferred by off-islanders, but your 
 true Nantucketer still sits "under" the window, 
 and "watches the pass." 
 
 V 
 
 "Voyage" — To the old-time resident every expedition 
 is a voyage, and whatever results from the voyage 
 is also a voyage. The term, so used, has come 
 down from the whaling days, when the number of 
 barrels of oil secured determined whether it had 
 been a good or a poor voyage. So today, if one 
 goes clamming, fishing, hunting or berrying, the 
 result of his efforts is the "voyage", and on his 
 return, he is asked, "What kind of a voyage have 
 you had?" or "Did you have a good voyage?" 
 
 "Veer and Haul" — To "back and fill", to vaccillate, 
 like a changeable wind. 
 
150 
 
 W 
 "Wadgetty" — Fidgety; nervous. 
 
 "Watch the Pass" — A never-failing source of enjoy- 
 ment to a true Nantucketer. Fortunate is he (and 
 especially she) who lives on one of the main ave- 
 nues of travel, where the opportunity for this di- 
 version is greatest. 
 
 "Watcher"-- One who sits up at night with a sick 
 person, and attends to his or her wants. In the 
 old days there were no trained nurses, and, anyway, 
 a nurse had to do only with babies, or possibly 
 with children. The invalid was usually cared for 
 by a member of the family during the day, but at 
 night a "watcher" (sometimes hired, but more 
 often a volunteer) came in and took charge. Af- 
 ter a death, a watcher always sat up with "the 
 remains" each night until the funeral. 
 
 "Weather" — This word had several meanings in addi- 
 tion to its ordinary significance. As an adjective, 
 it meant "windward," as the "weather bow," or 
 the "weather side" of anything. As a verb it 
 meant to get safely by, as, of a sick person, "if 
 he weathers the night, he may pull through;" or, 
 in a financial sense, "if he weathers this year, he 
 may succeed in the end, ' ' etc. 
 
 "Weather Eye Peeled" — Alert, on the watch. 
 
 "When the Spirit Moves" — A Quaker term. No one 
 was supposed to "speak in meeting" unless the 
 Spirit moved. Hence Nantucketers use the term 
 
151 
 
 to indicate that they will do a thing when or if 
 the Spirit moves, that is, when or if the inspira- 
 tion comes. 
 Where Do You Hail From?" — What is your ''home 
 port" or place of residence? 
 
 Whick-Whack" — To dash hither and yon, as "He 
 was whick-whacking back and forth, from house 
 to barn and from barn to house, all day." 
 
 Whittle"— To annoy, to tease, to pester; also some- 
 times to be nervous and uneasy (see same under 
 "Some Queer Words We Use", at end of this list.) 
 
 Wide Berth"— Plenty of room; to give a person or a 
 thing a wide berth is to shun or avoid him; to keep 
 well away from. 
 
 ; Wilcox" — To pass a restless, uneasy, sleepless night. 
 The expression "I wilcoxed all night long" is of- 
 ten heard even now. (See same under "Some 
 Queer Words We Use", following this list.) 
 
 'Wild as a Tuckernuck Steer"— Wild, harum-scarum. 
 Many beef cattle were formerly raised on Tucker- 
 nuck, and their antics, when brought into the gay 
 metropolis of Nantucket town, probably gave rise 
 to this expression. 
 
 'Wild Fowl Flavor"— Tasty and appetizing food was 
 said to "have a real wild fowl flavor." The dish 
 in question might be a pie or any kind of food, 
 but the expression was used in a complimentary 
 sense, meaning good, "moreish." 
 
152 
 
 Weather Sayings. 
 
 Mark Twain says somewhere, speaking of the 
 weather, that it's a thing we are always talking about, 
 but nobody ever seems to do anything about it. Could 
 Mark have spent a winter on Nantucket, he might have 
 thought there were times when we talked of little else; 
 and with reason, perhaps, for it is a matter of vital 
 consequence to us and to all our interests. Many Nan- 
 tucketers specialize on the subject. The first thing 
 they do on rising in the morning is to "take an obser- 
 vation." Breakfast has no interest for them till they 
 have looked at the thermometer, the barometer, the 
 nearest weather vane, and the sky overhead This 
 done, plans for the day may be considered. There is 
 much weather lore among them. Any old-timer can 
 predict the weather for twenty-four or even forty-eight 
 hours ahead; and sometimes he hits it right, as might 
 naturally be expected. Perseverance will accomplish 
 anything. 
 
 In former times there were many wise saws con- 
 cerning the weather, and some of them are still current 
 among the islanders. Yet it is a curious thing that if 
 one starts out to make a collection of such sayings, he 
 cannot find anyone who can remember off-hand more 
 than two or three — usually the same ones. Probably 
 some one has a collection of such sayings, but if so, 
 the compilers have been, up to the hour of going to 
 press, unable to locate it. A few, however, have been 
 jotted down, some of which are known to be very old. 
 It is hoped that if a second edition of this book should 
 ever appear, the list may be greatly extended. 
 
153 
 
 One of the things which every old-time Nantucket- 
 er recognizes at sight is the particular kind of a day 
 which is known as a "weather breeder." It is always 
 a perfect day, but not every perfect day is necessarily 
 a weather breeder. It is difficult to describe, and still 
 more difficult, to the uninitiated, at least, to recog- 
 nize. The saying, "There's always a calm before a 
 storm," is known the world over, and the expression 
 has its counterpart in all languages. It may be applied 
 to a day as well as an hour. Hence the "weather 
 breeder" --a fair, calm day, with a cloudless sky, or at 
 most a few fleecy white wisps far up in the blue, when 
 distant objects stand out clearly, when Pocomo Head 
 and Great Point hang suspended 'twixt sea and sky and 
 even Cape Cod may be visible in mirage. Everything 
 on or near the water is clearly and sharply reflected. 
 The wind is usually, but not always, from the east, for 
 though 'tis said 
 
 "When the wind is in the east 
 
 'Tis good for neither man nor beast," 
 
 we often have some beautiful weather when the wind 
 is in that quarter — a fact which is, we think, not gen- 
 erally recognized. But, as every perfect day is not a 
 weather breeder, neither is every fair day with an east 
 wind such. The unusual clearness of the air is one of 
 the best signs, for 
 
 "The further the sight the nearer the rain." 
 Toward night there is quite apt to be a "mackerel 
 sky," and every sailor knows 
 
 "Mackerel scales, 
 Furl your sails." 
 
154 
 
 And if this condition is accompanied or followed by 
 " mares' tails," then look out, for 
 
 "Mackerel sky and mares' tails 
 Make lofty ships carry low sails." 
 
 Now watch the barometer and remember that 
 
 "First rise after a low — 
 Squalls expect and more blow." 
 
 When the expected happens, observe it closely, for 
 
 "First the wind and then the rain, 
 Hoist your topsails up again." 
 But 
 
 "First the rain and then the wind, 
 Topsail sheets and halyards mind!" 
 
 If it hauls to the south'ard a bit, and blows hard, be 
 prepared for what is to follow, for 
 
 "A nor' wester never dies in debt to a southeaster." 
 However, take comfort in the fact that, the debt being 
 paid, with interest, 
 
 "A howl from the north brings a scream from the 
 east, a whisper from the south, and a song from the 
 west," 
 
 provided, of course, it goes round that way; that is, 
 from north to east, east to south, etc. ; but if, on the 
 contrary, the wind "backs," that is, changes in the op- 
 posite direction, then you may know that it has all to 
 be done over again, for 
 
 "Winds that change against the sun 
 Are always sure to backward run." 
 
 1 And this never fails, for there can be no settled 
 
155 
 
 weather (if there ever is such a thing in this latitude) 
 until the wind has gone round the right way — that is, 
 with the sun. And to the older islanders it is a well- 
 known fact that there is (almost without exception) a 
 dead calm within twenty-four hours before or after the 
 full of the moon. 
 
 A knowledge of these simple rules will enable any 
 land-lubber to set up as a weather prophet with quite 
 as much chance of establishing a reputation as if pic- 
 kled in brine for three-quarters of a century. 
 
 The varieties of weather known to Nantucketers 
 often surprise the inland visitor, who recognizes only 
 two kinds, good and bad. We have fair, good, fine, 
 foul, dirty, nasty, bad, thick, rough, heavy and several 
 other sorts, including "owlish" and "mirogenous. " 
 Wind conditions are described as dead calm, stark calm, 
 calm, light, puffy, squally, heavy, single-reef, two-, 
 three- and close-reef breezes, half-a-gale, gale, hurri- 
 cane, etc. ; or a wind may be described as a six or 
 eight-knot-breeze, and so on. Among those to the 
 manner born, a "tempest" means a thunder-storm. 
 Boxing the Compass. 
 
 We have our own names for the points of the com- 
 pass. Many writers persist in making the sailor man 
 say "nor'east" and "sou'east." None such ever used 
 the words. He does say "nor' west" and " sou' west, " 
 but north is "no'the," with a long "o" and a soft 
 "th." Northeast is "no'theast, " pronounced the same 
 way (the "no'the" like the verb "loathe.") South is 
 pronounced with the same soft "th" (like "mouth" 
 when used as a verb). 
 
156 
 
 When either north or south is used as an adjective 
 before the noun, however, each takes its ordinary dic- 
 tionary pronunciation, as a "north wind," or the 
 "south shore." It is only when used without the noun 
 that the long "o" sound in "no'the" and the soft 
 "th" in both words are heard. Thus we say the wind 
 is "out southe, " or "about no'the" — never a "no'the 
 wind" or the "southe shore." It is a curious distinc- 
 tion, for which there seems to be no reason except cus- 
 tom itself. Then we have "no-no'theast, " and "sou'- 
 southeast, " but always "nor'nor'west" and "sou'- 
 sou'west." Writers who wish to apply the local col- 
 or correctly are urged to study these forms carefully, and 
 not slip up, as most of them do, on such simple mat- 
 ters. "Southe" is sometimes used as a verb, when 
 speaking of the moon, as "when the moon southes;" 
 and the word "easting" is sometimes heard. 
 
 Underground Moon. 
 
 And we must not let another lunar phase pass un- 
 heeded, as a part of the island's weather curriculum — ■ 
 the "underground moon." Here we have a strictly 
 local phase of the orb of night. When the moon makes 
 a change between the hours of 12 and 1 o'clock, she is 
 classed as an "underground moon," and the claim is 
 made that foul weather is sure to accompany. Care- 
 ful notes indicate that such conditions do result, but 
 that the rule is not infallible. The real "under- 
 ground" moon is when that heavenly body makes its 
 change between the time of setting and rising, and 
 between the hours of 12 and 1 o'clock, being at the 
 
157 
 
 time below the horizon— or underground. The real 
 weather-wise Nantucketer holds quite tenaciously to 
 the theory. 
 
 TID BITS. 
 It would be a mistake to fail to preserve here the 
 menu known to whalemen in the early days. It will 
 intensify our respect for our forbears, who as lads were 
 eager to risk all the comforts of home to sail on long 
 voyages, knowing full well what conditions they would 
 be compelled to meet The mess table of those days 
 was in strong contrast to what is served Jack in these 
 days of tinned food-stuffs, and the "tar" of today is 
 better looked after in every particular, through better 
 national and international laws bearing upon his pro- 
 tection. 
 
 Lob Scouse. 
 In the old days Lob Scouse was a prominent fea- 
 ture of the menu of a whaleship. It was a stew of 
 soaked hard tack, pork fat, or "top o' the pot" (grease 
 left after boiling "salt horse"— beef), or any sort of 
 "slush" (sailor's term for grease), boiled with molas- 
 ses and water. 
 
 Potato Scouse 
 Was the same as above, excepting that potatoes were 
 substituted for hard-tack. 
 
 Dandyfunk. 
 This appears to have been a dish of class on ship- 
 board, made of powdered hard-tack, molasses and wat- 
 er and baked in the oven— evidently a sort of pudding. 
 
158 
 
 Salt Horse 
 
 (salted beef) was served twice a week, as was boiled 
 salt pork. 
 
 Duff 
 Boiled in a cloth, was on the menu twice weekly, 
 and one day of the seven gingerbread was served. 
 
 Meal and Molasses. 
 
 Scalded yellow meal with molasses was served 
 daily, and occasionally salt fish and potatoes. 
 
 Whale scraps were occasionally eaten, and porpoise 
 meat, and sometimes fresh fish found place on the fes- 
 tive board; and when they were trying out a whale, ad- 
 vantage was taken of the abundance of hot fat to do 
 more or less frying in the try-pots. 
 
 To the whaleman, salt beef was always "meat," 
 while pork was pork. As some preferred one and 
 some the other, a sailor would frequently offer to swap 
 his "meat" for his mess-mate's pork, or vice versa. 
 Whalemen used to say they varied their diet by having 
 salt horse and hard-tack one meal, and hard-tack and 
 salt horse the next, and so on. 
 
 Some Queer Words We Use. 
 
 To the student of etymology the speech of the 
 Nantucket people offers an interesting field. Here he 
 will encounter many unusual words and expressions 
 rarely found elsewhere outside of the dictionary, and 
 not always there, yet frequently used and perfectly un- 
 derstood by the older generation of islanders. 
 
159 
 
 In an essay entitled "Shakespeare's American- 
 isms," Henry Cabot Lodge answers some of the Eng- 
 lish critics who have referred rather slurringly to cer- 
 tain alleged innovations in the mother tongue as 
 "Americanisms," and proves conclusively, by quota- 
 tions from Shakespeare and his contemporaries, that 
 many of these terms are simply survivals of well-rec- 
 ognized forms which were in common use in the Eliz- 
 abethan age or even earlier. One such word quoted by 
 Mr. Lodge is "fleet," used as a verb, which he had 
 often noted in Nantucket. The primary definition of 
 this word, according to the Century dictionary, is "to 
 move quickly, " but as it survives with us, it is used 
 more in its second sense, "to move over, to move 
 along", or, in the transitive form, "to change the 
 place of." An excellent example is contained in the 
 story of a Quaker minister, who, noting that a consid- 
 erable part of his scattered congregation occupied the 
 back seats, began his discourse by saying : "Come, fleet 
 for'ard, friends; there's too much weight aft." Cu- 
 riously enough the Century Dictionary's example is al- 
 most exactly similar, to wit: "To fleet aft the crew of 
 a whale boat, that by their weight they may help to 
 keep the head of the boat up when a whale is sound- 
 ing." 
 
 So whnn some of our hypercritical visitors are in- 
 clined to poke a bit of fun at us for using certain "out- 
 landish" words, it may be wiser for them to first con- 
 sult the dictionary and make sure that the word in 
 question is not some rather choice bit of pure old Eng- 
 lish speech. 
 
160 
 
 It may be of interest to consider a few of the 
 more common examples of such words, many of which 
 are given in our list of "Expressions and Idioms." 
 Few if any of them could yet be considered obsolete, 
 and the worst that could be said of any of them is that 
 they are more or less archaic. There is space to men- 
 tion only a few, which we have arranged alphabetically. 
 Almost any old Nantucketer can add one or more to the 
 list, which may thus grow to a long chapter by itself 
 should a second edition of this book ever appear. 
 
 "Clip" — A Nantucketer would say, "I'll just 
 'clip' in to Mary's on the way back." One meaning 
 of the verb clip is to move quickly, and as our use of 
 this term implies haste, or a hurried call, it is doubt- 
 less derived from that meaning. 
 
 "Coof" — the Century defines as "a lout, a cow- 
 ard." (Scotch). Originally the word was without 
 doubt used in a somewhat contemptuous sense, and to 
 the resident of a prosperous urban community of ten 
 thousand people, such as Nantucket was seventy or 
 eighty years ago, visitors from Cape Cod (to whom the 
 term was originally applied) might well have seemed 
 loutish. Gradually the word came to be applied to any 
 off-islander and lost most of its contemptuous signifi- 
 cance, implying only a slight inferiority by reason of 
 the accident of birth elsewhere than on the island. It 
 is a good English word, which is the main point. 
 
 "Diddledees" — a curious old word used for pine- 
 needles. This has always been something of a puzzle, 
 but the Century again helps us out: "Diddledees — a 
 
161 
 
 shrub in the Falkland Islands and other Antarctic re- 
 gions used for fuel." As pine-needles have been used 
 as "kindlings" by the Nantucket people for generations 
 past, may it not be that the word was brought from 
 the Antarctic by the whalers? In the absence of any 
 better explanation of the origin of the term, this theory 
 is advanced for what it may be worth. 
 
 "Flax" as a verb. The Century gives as an ex- 
 ample "flax around," which is just the way Nantucket 
 people use it, meaning to gad about, or to hustle. 
 
 "Fudge" —Long before its use as a noun, applied 
 to a certain kind of candy, our ancestors used this word 
 as a verb, meaning to bother or plague, to fool, or 
 something like the term "bamboozle." There is a 
 story of an old Quaker grocer who sent word to a cus- 
 tomer who had complained of the butter he sent her 
 that "it was good butter, and he would not be fudged 
 by women." Another story tells of a Quaker who was 
 asked to sell half of a two-cent pickle for one cent. 
 His reply was, "Thee get along now, thee can't fudge 
 me." There is a dictionary definition, "to prod with 
 a stick," from which the local use of the term may 
 have been derived, but it is a trifle obscure. 
 
 "Gam" — Originally "a school of whales, " from 
 which it was quite natural the whalemen should have 
 applied it to a social visit between ships, which is one 
 of the Century's definitions. 
 
 "Gaily" — Though this word has survived princi- 
 pally in the perfect participle form, "gallied," it was 
 also used in the present and other tenses. It is a vari- 
 
162 
 
 ation, recognized in the dictionary, of the good old Eng- 
 lish verb gallow, to frighten or terrify. "The wrath- 
 ful skies gallow the very wanderers of tht dark." — 
 Shakespeare. 
 
 "Meeching" — Is another word often noted. The 
 dictionary gives "skulking, sneaking, mean," which is 
 just the sense we give it in Nantucket. 
 
 "Muster" — Not as applied to the military, but to 
 any group or assemblage of people, as "quite a mus- 
 ter," which is a secondary definition of the term in the 
 dictionary, and, we think, rather unusual "off -island." 
 
 "Perceive" — No word causes more comment, per- 
 haps, among our visitors than this; not of course the 
 word itself, but the way Nantucketers use it. It is 
 difficult to define the exact shade of difference between 
 our use of the word and that of others. With us it 
 means something more than to see or discern, or even 
 to notice. It means rather to grasp or "take in. " For 
 example if one speaks to an old islander, he or she, as 
 recognition dawns, says: "Oh, how do you do! I 
 didn't perceive you at first." It is perfectly obvious 
 that he saw you, but it required something more, the 
 use of some other sense or senses, and possibly some 
 slight lapse of time, to perceive you. In view of this 
 use of the word, the Century Dictionary definition is 
 very interesting: "to become aware of, to have knowl- 
 edge of." And again "specifically, to come to know 
 
 through the organs of sense When we 
 
 perceive, the object is actually before us, appealing to 
 various sense organs." Is it not curious that this ex- 
 
163 
 
 act distinction, subtle as it is, should have survived 
 among us, to be frequently remarked upon by outsiders? 
 "Perceivance" — In a similar sense this word still 
 persists in the speech of Nantucketers. Is it ever heard 
 elsewhere? The dictionary gives an example from Mil- 
 ton : ''The senses and common perceivance carry this 
 message to the soul. " When a Nantucket woman of 
 the old regime wishes to convey the idea that she scorn- 
 fully ignored some slighting remark, she says with dig- 
 nity : "Yes, I heard it, but I took no perceivance of it." 
 
 "Pernickety" — When a Nantucket person calls 
 another pernickety, it strikes an outsider as provincial 
 or even as if the word might have been coined for the 
 occasion; but again the Century justifies us as follows: 
 "Pernickety — precise in trifles, fussily particular, es- 
 pecially about dress or trifles," — which is exactly how 
 we use the term. 
 
 "Porch"-- Applied to an ell kitchen. A summer 
 cottager who instructed the native man-of all-work to 
 sweep and clean the porch accused him of stupidity 
 when she returned an hour or two later to find her 
 kitchen nicely cleaned, while the veranda remained in 
 the same disorder as when she went out. Each knew 
 what a porch was, but each had something quite differ- 
 ent in mind. The word porch is defined as "a covered 
 way or entrance, whether enclosed or unenclosed." In 
 ecclesiastical architecture, where it presumably origi- 
 nated, it describes the covered and usually enclosed en- 
 trance built on to a church or cathedral -for all the 
 world, in general outline and appearance, like the ell 
 
164 
 
 kitchen of a typical old Nantucket house, succeeding 
 the "lean-to" in the very old ones. The use of the 
 word as applied to a veranda is modern U. S. , and 
 more or less local at that. So the Nantucketer may 
 have been nearer right than his employer. The room over 
 this style of kitchen was always "the porch chamber." 
 
 "Scrimshont" — A curious word, of which the orig- 
 inal is said to have been scrimshaw. The dictionary 
 defines it in effect as any fine or delicate mechanical 
 work, especially the carving on shells or ivory done by 
 sailors. Many fine examples of "scrimshonting" may 
 still be seen in some of the old Nantucket homes, and 
 the Historical Association has some excellent speci- 
 mens in its collection. 
 
 "Scrouge" is another survival, meaning "to 
 squeeze, to press, to crowd," especially in a financial 
 way, as by a creditor in dealing with a debtor. Did 
 Dickens, perhaps, have it in mind when he named his 
 central character in the "Christmas Carol?" 
 
 "Serve" — If a Nantucket woman breaks her 
 broomstick or mop-handle, she fits the pieces together 
 and asks her husband or some other man to "serve" it. 
 If he is a sailor he knows what she means, and he does 
 a wonderfully neat job. He does not need to look in 
 the dictionary, where he might learn that it means "to 
 bind or wind tightly with small cord or marline;" but 
 unless he is a sailor, or has been taught by a sailor, he 
 cannot do it without having at least one of the ends, if 
 not both, showing when the work is finished. It is a 
 fine art when properly done. 
 
165 
 
 "Shod," according to the dictionary, means "to 
 saunter about, to loiter idly" — a favorite pastime with 
 the "shooler," who is a well-known character in the 
 local vernacular. 
 
 "Slatch" — A word still in quite common use on 
 the island among the older people. It means "a short 
 gleam of fine weather, an interval in a storm." When 
 caught away from home in a heavy rain, we plan, if 
 possible, to "wait for a slatch" before starting to re- 
 turn. The term is also sometimes used in the sense of 
 a respite from labor, as "I had a slatch in my work, 
 and I thought I'd run over and see you. " 
 
 "Sliver"— (pronounced with a long "i")— Ask 
 your city fish man to sliver a flounder, a plaice fish or 
 a scup for you, and there's one chance in ten, if he's 
 not an old fisherman himself, that he will know what 
 you mean; yet the dictionary defines it exactly: "to 
 cut each side of a fish away in one piece from the head 
 to the tail, which is the only proper way to clean eith- 
 er of the fish mentioned, as every Nantucketer knows. 
 
 "Stir", as a noun — This may be, strictly speak- 
 ing, less distinctively local than some of the other 
 terms, but it is doubtful if it is used as frequently in 
 this sense elsewhere as here. One says, for instance, 
 "I've been down town, but there isn't much stir." 
 The word means "activity, bustle, movement, action, 
 commotion, excitement"— all of which are included in 
 the thing which is lacking in the sentence quoted. 
 
 "Traipse", or "trapes" is another verb which 
 Nantucketers still use frequently in the exact sense au- 
 
166 
 
 thorized by the Century: ''To gad or flount about 
 idly." It includes a little of the meaning of both 
 "flax" and "shool" above given, with something add- 
 ed, but it implies something rather less reputable than 
 either of those terms. To say that a woman "traipses" 
 up and down Main street comes dangerously near slan- 
 der on our island. 
 
 "Whittle" — There seems to be no good authority 
 for our use of this word, meaning to fuss, to get un- 
 easy ; also, sometimes, to tease, to pester. One says, 
 "Well, it's time to go. Mother'll be whittling." 
 What child of a Nantucket mother hasn't been told, 
 when he had exhausted her patience to the point of ex- 
 asperation by teasing for something, "Oh, stop your 
 whittling!" 
 
 Many other words are less easy to place, though 
 every old Nantucketer will recognize some if not all of 
 them. 
 
 "Bungy" — "Where you going?" "I'm going to 
 Bungy." What and where is Bungy? The impression 
 seems to be that the reply is a rather saucy one — al- 
 most as if to say, "None of your business." 
 
 "Flink" — "I'm going out on a flink," meaning a 
 good time. May it be a corruption of "fling" some- 
 times used in a similar sense? 
 
 "Huddle" — An old-time name for a dance or ball. 
 All the old-timers will recall "Handy's huddles." 
 
167 
 
 "Muckle" — See Expressions and Idioms. Origin 
 obscure. 
 
 "Rantum-scoot" — Does it mean to scoot at ran- 
 dom? That is the implication of the term, as used. 
 Who knows? 
 
 "Skoodle" — To crouch, to squat. There seems to 
 be no authority for this, though long in common use. 
 
 "Slurrup" — A slattern; the adjective was "slur- 
 rupy." There is a definition (Provincial English) of 
 slur, meaning "mud, especially thin, washy mud." A 
 possible connection suggests itself. 
 
 "Strams"— Children; not common, but apparently 
 authentic. Whence came it? 
 
 "Wilcox" — Much used in Nantucket formerly, to 
 describe an uneasy, sleepless night. To this day the old 
 folks (and some of the young ones) say; "I couldn't 
 sleep. I wilcoxed all night long." It has been sug- 
 gested that the term originated with a story of some 
 family named Wilcox who, having an overplus of com- 
 pany one night, slept four or five in a bed, with the 
 natural result that no one slept at all. 
 
 Unlike most rural New Englanders, including even 
 Cape Cod coofs, your Nantucketer never "cal'lates, " 
 though some writers have made him ^do so, by implica- 
 tion, in their attempts to reproduce the local dialect. 
 Nor does he, like the Southerner, "reckon.' Most as- 
 suredly he never, like the Englishman, "fancies." He 
 does sometimes "guess" (which, by the way, is one of 
 the "Americanisms" which Mr. Lodge proves by sever- 
 
168 
 
 al examples has a good Shakespearean origin and au- 
 thority) ; but he employs a much more elegant and dig- 
 nified phrase than either of these. He "presumes like- 
 ly." That is his particular contribution to the many 
 variations of the word think. He prefaces most of his 
 opinions with the phrase, as "I presume likely the boat 
 will be late tonight;" and if you ask him almost any 
 question requiring anything short of a positively affirm- 
 ative reply, he answers it: "I presume likely." 
 There is something akin to the Scotchman's well-known 
 reluctance to make any unqualifiedly positive statement 
 in the Nantucketer's use of this phrase, and he keeps it 
 handy for all occasions. 
 
 Nantucketers never sit at the window or by the 
 window, but always "under" the window. There is 
 perhaps no phrase which is more often noted in our 
 speech than this, and we who use it are often asked to 
 explain or even to demonstrate just how we sit under 
 the window. The answer is, obviously, that as Nan- 
 tucket windows are usually rather high from the floor, 
 as we sat by or at one of them, we are under them, just 
 as the wall paper or the baseboard, or even the floor, 
 for that matter, is under them — which only goes to 
 prove that whatever may be said of us, we are never 
 in the wrong. Let him who can prove the contrary. 
 
 We might go on indefinitely citing peculiarities of 
 the local dialect, if such a term may be used in this 
 connection ; but it would need another book to pursue 
 the subject to its limits, and the limitations of our 
 space forbid. But we cannot close without a word 
 about what is known as "the Nantucket yes marm," 
 
169 
 
 which, after all, is no more Nantucket than Cape Cod, 
 or anywhere else, for that matter; though we are just- 
 ly accused of using it more generally and more univer- 
 sally, perhaps, than other people. Though rather in- 
 formal, it is good English, strange to say. To refer 
 once more to our Century Dictionary, we find 
 "h'm-h'm— a murmur of assent." Nantucketers do 
 not say "h'm-h'm," but "m'm-h'm"— that is, there 
 is no aspirated sound on the first syllable, but only on 
 the second. The lips are kept tightly closed, and the 
 sound comes through the nose. One has only to listen 
 to a modern Nantucketer "murmuring assent" over the 
 telephone to realize how fixed the habit is with all of 
 us. 
 
Chapter XL 
 
 FLOTSAM AND JETSAM. 
 
 A queer old couplet, sometimes quoted by the old- 
 timers, though no one seems to know how or 
 where it originated: 
 
 ''First a feast, and then a famine, 
 
 And then out on the banks a-clammin'." 
 
 That the old-time speech of the island people has 
 not entirely passed out of use, is proved by a compara- 
 tively recent experience of a family who were looking 
 for an apartment for the summer. Having hesitated 
 about taking the upper floor of one of the old houses, on 
 the ground that it was not quite large enough for their 
 needs, the lady of the house offered to "heave in a room 
 up garret," which served to clinch the bargain. 
 
 Whalers' "Shop Talk." 
 
 About the year 1800, a Boston man, on returning 
 from a visit to Nantucket, told his friends that he had 
 never heard of such a barbarous, cold-blooded lot of 
 people as those islanders. When asked to explain, he 
 replied: "Well, I'll tell you a little conversation I 
 overheard on the wharf between two apparently respec- 
 table citizens. One said to the other, 'Have you sold 
 
171 
 
 your head?' to which the other replied, 'No, not yet; 
 I've sold my body and my bone, but I'm waiting for a 
 better offer for my head!' 
 
 A Division of Labor. 
 After the fight between the American privateer 
 Prince of Neufchatel and the boats from the British 
 frigate Endymion, off the south side of Nantucket, dur- 
 ing the war of 1812, many wounded men were landed 
 on the island. Among them were two shipmates, one 
 of whom had lost a hand, while the other had been hit 
 in the jaw by a musket ball. Being asked out to din- 
 ner with others of their comrades, they both suffered a 
 serious handicap in competition with their more fortu- 
 nate messmates, who were all too busy to notice their 
 predicament. Finally, he of the one hand addressed 
 him of the broken jaw with, "I say, Jack, you can't 
 grind, and I can't carve, so what do you say to splicing? 
 You cut for me, and I'll chew for you." 
 That Second-Harid Pulpit. 
 There are several different versions of this tale, 
 two or three of which have found their way into the 
 Scrap Basket. They vary, however, only as to the 
 store where it happened, and the place where the pulpit 
 came from. The story is that a certain shop-keeper, 
 who shall be nameless, carried such a varied line that it 
 was hard to think of anything which he could not pro- 
 duce So famous in this respect did the shop become 
 that finally a wager was made between two citizens 
 that one could not ask for anything which the proprie- 
 tor did not have in stock. Going into the store, the 
 
172 
 
 spokesman said: "We've called to see if you happened 
 to have a second-hand pulpit." "Why, yes," was the 
 reply; "now you speak of it, I believe I have; but I 
 never expected to sell it, and I'd pretty near forgotten 
 I had it. When they took down the old Teazer Meeting 
 House, I bought the pulpit, and I've got it up garret. 
 I'll bring it down." The loser paid his bet, and paid 
 for the pulpit as well, though "he had no more use for 
 it than Nick Meader had for his teeth." 
 
 Not Too Much at a Time. 
 
 Uncle James's son Theophilus, who was in "for- 
 eign parts," wrote a letter to his mother. After the 
 lamp was lighted in the sitting room, she put on her 
 specs, and sat down to read it aloud to the family. Af- 
 ter she had read a page or two Uncle James stopped 
 her, saying, "There, that'll do for this time, mother; 
 now put it on the mantel, put the whetstone over it, 
 and finish reading it tomorrow." Being a dutiful 
 wife, she obeyed, and the family had to wait for the 
 second installment. 
 
 Twisted. 
 
 Reuben Clark, who was famous as a gunner, lived 
 at the foot of Mill Hill. One day a boy saw a fish- 
 hawk light on the topmost point of the mill-vane. 
 Greatly excited, he ran down the hill, banged on the 
 door of the Clark domicile, and yelled: "Reub Gun, get 
 your dark, and shoot the mill-vane on the fish-hawk!" 
 
 This reminds us of the time Hiram's pig escaped, 
 when Uncle Isaac, his father-in-law, called out, "Hi- 
 
173 
 
 ram! Hiram! Half a dozen hammers and a board-nail, 
 quick! The pig's under the gate!" 
 
 Question Not Debatable. 
 
 Richard Macy, father of Zaccheus, had engaged to 
 marry Alice Paddack, a single woman, he being at the 
 time about 80 years old. On telling his son Caleb of 
 his intention, the latter remonstrated on account of his 
 father's great age, whereat Richard told Caleb that he 
 misapprehended the reason for his call ; he had not come 
 to consult him or to get his concurrence — he merely 
 came to inform him that he should marry Alice Pad- 
 dack. 
 
 More Good Things from the Inquirer. 
 
 This advertisement appeared in the Inquirer of 
 March 11, 1823: 
 
 Wanted 
 
 "Smart, native, honest Lad of from 12 to 16 
 years of age, who writes a good hand and is acquainted 
 with figures, to attend in a West India Goods Store. 
 No compensation will be allowed." 
 
 What a temptation to an ambitious boy to enter a 
 mercantile life ! 
 
 The Inquirer of October 5, 1833, quotes the fol- 
 lowing native poetry, transcribed from a shutter on a 
 local grocery store : 
 
 "New Cider Sweat and good 
 
 Pleas to trye it if you would 
 
 Apples Paires and Peaches too 
 
 As good frute as ever grew 
 
 Oysters fine as ever you saw 
 
 You can have them cook't or take them raw. " 
 
174 
 
 Cured of "Playing Sick." 
 
 The Mirror of Feb. 28, 1846, tells of an old Nan- 
 tucket ship captain "now located far away," who, be- 
 ing applied to by a lazy sailor for some medicine, 
 said that he cut up a head of tobacco, steeped it in a 
 pint of black fish oil, administered it, and "put such an 
 injunction" upon the fellow that he never troubled him 
 again. 
 
 Rich, but Humble. 
 
 There is a story which has been attributed to sev- 
 eral different local plutocrats at various times, but the 
 story itself is probably older than some of its alleged 
 heroes. It first appeared in the Worcester Yeoman in 
 November, 1828, and was related as an example of the 
 democracy existing in Nantucket. Some strangers, 
 landing at the wharf, noticed two elderly men with a 
 cart, and at once piled their luggage aboard and or- 
 dered it delivered at a certain boarding house in the 
 town. When the cart arrived, the strangers ordered 
 the various articles disposed of according to their wish- 
 es, but on asking for the bill, their surprise may be 
 imagined when they were informed that there was no 
 charge for the service and that if any further work of 
 
 the kind was needed, to call on Mr. and Capt. 
 
 . Inquiry soon revealed the fact that the strang- 
 ers had employed two of the richest men on the island, 
 who seemed to enjoy the joke even more than their em- 
 ployers, who had profited by the service rendered. 
 
175 
 
 Gatherings. 
 
 The late John Rand, remembered as an incorrigible 
 joker, was one of the many Nantucket men who enlist- 
 ed early in the Civil war, going out with the Twentieth 
 Regiment, M. V. M., as a member of Company I. The 
 examining surgeon asked him if he had ever had any 
 serious illness, to which John replied that when he was 
 a boy he used to have "gatherings in his head." 
 Finding no sign of any such trouble he was asked what 
 had been done to cure it. "Why," he replied, "my 
 mother used to treat 'em with a fine-tooth comb!" 
 John was accepted. 
 
 Knew the Exact Spot. 
 "Where did you get such a bad cold?" was asked 
 of a Nantucket man who was obviously suffering in 
 that respect. " Well, I'll tell you where I got it," 
 was the reply. "It was right between John Shaw's 
 house and Roland Folger's shop." 
 
 Height of His Ambition. 
 
 One day Jake E was heard to say: "Wish I 
 
 had a million dollars." "What would you do, Jake, 
 if you had a million dollars?" "I'd go right down 
 to auction and buy a d— d great piece of corned beef," 
 was the response. 
 
 * Epitaphs Which Might Have Been. 
 In an interesting letter to his cousin, Keziah 
 Coffin, Benjamin Franklin suggested these two epitaphs 
 — the first for his parents, and the second for himself. 
 They were printed in The Nantucket Inquirer, January 
 26, 1824. 
 
176 
 
 Josiah Franklin 
 
 And Abiah, his wife, 
 
 Lie here interred. 
 
 They lived loveingly together in Wedlock 
 
 Fifety-five Years 
 
 And without an Estate or gainfull Imployment 
 
 by constant Labour and honest Industry 
 
 With God's Blessing 
 
 Maintained a large Family comfortably and 
 
 brought up thirteen Children and seven 
 
 Grandchildren 
 
 Reputably. 
 
 From this Instance Reader 
 
 be encouraged to Dilligence in thy Calling 
 
 And distrust not Providence. 
 
 He was a Pious and Prudent Man 
 
 She was a diligent and Virtuous Woman 
 
 Their youngest Son 
 
 In filial Regard to their Memory 
 
 Places this Stone — 
 
 J. F. horn 1655 died 1744 
 
 A. F. born 1666 died 1752 
 
 The Body of B. Franklin 
 
 Printer 
 
 Like the Cover of an old Book 
 
 Its Contents torn out 
 
 And stript of its Lettering and Gilding 
 
 Lies here Food for Worms 
 
 But the Work shall not be lost 
 
 It will (as he believes) appear once more 
 
 In a new and more beautiful Edition 
 
 Corrected and Amended 
 
 By the Author. 
 
 He was born Jan. 6, 1706. And 
 
 died 17— 
 
177 
 
 Non Persona Grata. 
 
 Here is a copy of an official warrant issued by the 
 Selectmen of Sherborn, in 1738: 
 
 Nantucket, ss. To the Constables of the Town of Sher- 
 born, or either of them, &c : 
 
 Information being made to us, the subscribers, that 
 Marther Broadbrook of the County of Barnstable is 
 landed into this town in order to take up her abode 
 here, which is like to be of ill consequence if not time- 
 ly prevented : 
 
 These are therefore to order you or either of you 
 to warn the said Marther Broadbrook immediately to 
 depart this town or to expect the severity of the law in 
 that case made and provided, and make Return of this 
 order to either of us as soon as may be. 
 The 22nd of the 6th month, 1738. 
 
 Jabez Bunker, 
 Nathan Folger, 
 Thomas Macy, 
 Richard Coffin, 
 John Macy, 
 Paul Starbuck, 
 Ebenezer Barnard, 
 
 Selectmen. 
 On the back of this order is the following endorse- 
 ment : 
 
 Nantucket, Sherborn, August 29, 1738, Pursuant 
 to this warrant this day warned the within Marther 
 Broadbrook. (The signature is illegible.) 
 
178 
 
 A Quiet Hint. 
 
 An old-time grocer of the island disliked loafers 
 in his store, and posted the following placard conspicu- 
 ously : 
 
 "Right Man in the Right, 
 
 Place- 
 Husband at Home in the 
 Evening." 
 
179 
 
 A Rhymed Resume. 
 
 The following lines, which portray traits of many 
 old Nantucket families, were written by Matthew Bar- 
 ney, and read at the Coffin family gathering and cele- 
 bration, 1881. 
 
 Ho! children of "Scrap Island*', hear, 
 
 Leave each your avocation ; 
 Come, gather in the old home dear; 
 
 Let's have a Celebration. 
 
 Two hundred years have passed away, 
 
 Since came the pair of Macys, 
 And from that stock we show, today, 
 
 A troop of smiling faces. 
 
 Old Tristram Coffin's name we find 
 
 A regiment could furnish, 
 And Mary Starbuck's strength of mind 
 
 Lives other minds to burnish. 
 
 Come, Rays and Russells, leave your trade, 
 
 There's fun for coopers brewing; 
 Nantucket sons and daughters staid 
 
 Old friendships are renewing. 
 
 Come, knowing Folgers, 'tis said you need 
 
 In labor's line true grit, 
 So to our invite please take heed, 
 
 There's less of work than wit. 
 
 Come, Colemans, for the name recalls 
 Thoughts of the good old preacher; 
 
 Tho' seldom found in college halls, 
 Yet truth's your sterling feature. 
 
 Come, Coffins, noisy, fractious, loud, 
 
 We can excuse your manner ; 
 Of all the names that homeward crowd 
 
 I'm sure yours take the banner. 
 
180 
 
 Come, silent Gardners, slow and sure, 
 Leave business whilst you're gamming; 
 
 If one week's play you can't endure, 
 We'll find you work at clamming. 
 
 Come, quiet, honest Husseys, too, 
 
 (From Christopher descended) 
 We shall not get a speech from you — 
 
 Least said is soonest mended. 
 
 Come, Mitchells, good, the old rhymes say, 
 (I suppose it means at writing) 
 
 Let's have a poem for the day, 
 Rich, joyous and delighting. 
 
 Come, Barkers, you are rated proud, 
 We know you have some humor; 
 
 Just lend a hand; we'll show the crowd 
 This gathering's not mere rumor. 
 
 Come, Macys, of the good old stock — 
 The first that trod our shores — 
 
 From that good pair has sprung a fleck 
 That's counted now by scores. 
 
 Don't fail to come, we do insist: 
 
 This is not all a fable, — 
 We'll put you down upon the list 
 
 At the " pudding' ' place at table. 
 
 Come, Swains, 'tis said a grouty set 
 (Perhaps there is some reason); 
 
 You grumble if a chance you get, 
 Both in and out of season. 
 
 Come, Barnards, quiet in your mien, 
 
 In general, civil-spoken; 
 Come, Pinkhams, lay aside your spleen, 
 
 Let not good cheer be broken. 
 
181 
 
 Come, Starbucks, ye of Edward's line, 
 
 Nathaniel and his Mary, 
 Wide-scattered 'mong Carolina's pine, 
 
 And o'er the western prairie 
 'Tis said you're cold and rather rough. 
 
 Our welcome will be warm enough. 
 
 Come, Bunkers, ye of William's stock, 
 
 And his young wife Joanna; 
 When roused, you're stubborn as a rock, 
 
 But kind your natural manner. 
 
 Come, Paddacks of Ichabod's bold race, 
 That taught our grandsires whaling; 
 
 Come, let a smile light every face, 
 For soberness is your failing. 
 
 Come, honest Chases, rather bluff, 
 And sometimes prone to fretting. 
 
 A whale is sure to cry, " enough," 
 If once you get a "setting." 
 
 Come, Worths, with notions quaint and rare, 
 Most taught in Whalemen's College, 
 
 Where he is best who'll do and dare, 
 Tho' lacking in book knowledge. 
 
 Come, Jenkins, cold and slow of speech, 
 
 Minds of mechanic turn ; 
 Some facts this gathering's sure to teach, 
 
 You are not too wise to learn. 
 
 Come, Cartwrights, square in thought and act, 
 
 More sober-hued than gay , 
 This gathering is a stubborn fact, 
 
 There's time to work and play. 
 
 Come, Brooks and Brocks, a sturdy race, 
 
 Of old Puritanic stock. 
 These r ".mes have oft held honor's place, 
 
 In halls and battle-shock. 
 
182 
 
 Come, Barneys, you of Jacob's line — 
 The good old Baptist preacher — 
 
 Though not of cast of mind to shine, 
 You have pugnacious feature. 
 
 Come, Jones and Gerald, and Jenks, too, 
 
 We need you in our array. 
 We've speeches planned, and songs from you, 
 
 And a poem for the day. 
 
 Come, Coon and Cash, you have a claim 
 
 In valor's line to stand; 
 Leviathan, the great sea game, 
 
 Oft yielded to your hand. 
 
 Come, Browns, you have mechanic skill, 
 
 But lack in earnest thought — 
 Come, let your hand and heart and will 
 
 To aid this plan be brought. 
 
 Come, Myricks, of the old-time stock, 
 Cool, square, and sharp in trade, 
 
 Your thought can pierce through wood or rock 
 To work out plans you've made. 
 
 Come, Joys, 'tis said that you can brag, 
 
 (And some we know were able) 
 We look to you that talk shan't flag, 
 
 For that's good sauce at table. 
 
 Come, Mooers, of Capt. William's clan, 
 
 Who first at mast-head wore 
 Our stars and stripes, and the first man 
 
 To float them at England's shore. 
 
 Come, Smiths — you sprang from Capt. John, 
 
 Saved by that Indian lassie; 
 The name hath oft true honor won, 
 
 Tho' some are blunt and sassy. 
 
183 
 
 Come, Clarks, perhaps your name you trace 
 
 (For surely you may try it) 
 Back to the old explorer's race; 
 
 If so, here's chance to cry it. 
 
 Come, Aliens, you can trace your name 
 
 To dear old Scotia's shore; 
 Come out your shell, don't be so tame, 
 
 We'll make old golden roar. 
 
 Come, Meaders, of the old-time folks, 
 We ask your strong arms' aid; 
 
 Our call is real and no joke — 
 Here may be a chance to trade. 
 
 Come, Eastons, you're from Rhody's Isle, 
 Though earnest, have your doubt; 
 
 You'll find a pleasure worth you while — 
 Come, aid to bring it out. 
 
 Come, Baxters, maybe of Richard's line, 
 
 Of old covenanter's fame, 
 Here's chance for smile if you incline, 
 
 Or be in joke the game.