NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 
 
 DAHCR'3 
 
 Edition 
 
 PL7\Y,3 
 
 Counsel for the Plaintiff 
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
 
A NEW IRISH DRAMA, 
 
 SHAMROCK # ROSE, 
 
 A Romantic Story of Irish Life during the Rebellion 
 of '98, in four acts. 
 
 By JOHN FITZGERALD MURPHY. 
 
 Seven male and three female characters. Costumes and scenery not diffi- 
 cult. Every part a good one. A sure hit. Printed as played under 
 the author's personal direction, at the Dudley St. Opera House, 
 Boston, St. John's Hall, Boston, and the Newport Opera House. 
 
 s TT nxr o I* sj I s . 
 
 _ Act. I. Scene, Squire Fitzgerald's Home, in Wicklow. Rose's story of Desmond's 
 arrival. Shaitn Gary hears a bit of valuable news. Barney O'Brady meets an unexpected 
 visitor and shows him the door. Ileen and Barney. The Fugitive. The arrival of the 
 soldiers. Capt. Beck quarrels with the Squire. The defence. The murder. The Arrest. 
 
 Act. II. Scene I : A Landscape. Gary and the Gaptain plot the abduction of Rose. 
 Douglass' dilemma 'twixt love and duty. 6"c<?;/^ //; The Prison. Barney's cell. Hot Irish 
 in a stone jug. A friend in need. The red coat. Scene III : Ro<^e receives a false message. 
 Scene IV: Desmond's cell. The Death Warrant. Celt and Saxon. Barney a guard. 
 The death knell. The Escape. * .^ 
 
 Act III. Scene I : O'Byrnes' Wood. The purty girl milking lier cow. ^Barney pro- 
 poses to Ileen. Desmond heafs bad news. Barney, in the guise of a soldier, gets imjiortant 
 information from Gary. Scene II : Exterior of Beck's Gastle bv moonlight. Rose a Cap- 
 tive. Barney brings good news. The proposal and refusal. The ass Jucks^ The false 
 captive. The Rescue. 
 
 Act IV. Scene: Corrigmor at Sunrise. Shaun Gary a captive. The arrivai 6f Nano 
 and Ileen. Tracked by Beck. Nano keeps Beck at Bay. The duel.-' Gary's shot. Beck's 
 death. The " Shamrock a^d Rose." 
 
 Price --.--_- 85 cents. 
 
 Incidental to this piece occur the following new songs by Messrs. R. 
 W. Lanigan and Leo. A. Munier, entitled 
 
 SHAMROCK AND ROSE. MY IRISH QUEEN. 
 
 MA BOUCHALEEN BAWN. • 
 
 The three published together at 60 cents; obtaittable only of the publishers. 
 
 For other novelties see the preceding' page. 
 
 Walter H. Baker & Co., 23 Winter St., Boston. 
 
Counsel for the Plaintiff 
 
 9 Cometrg in Etoo Sets 
 
 BY / 
 
 ST. CLAIR HURD 
 
 
 BOSTON 
 1891 
 
CHARACTERS. 
 
 Mr. Frank Rice, in the consomme. 
 
 Mr. Solomon '^KTYih-a, Hebrew batiker -who helps pull htm out. 
 
 Mr. Phineas Vhvu^'E'l, stopped by Miss Stopper. 
 
 Mr. Percy Vkiisim^ks, lawyer, counsel for the plaintiff. 
 
 Miss Lucy Lowborn, in love with Frank. 
 
 Miss Phcebe Sto^p)^k, who can't be stopped. 1-^^ / o C"^ 
 
 Mrs. Percy Primmeks, in sympathy with Lucy. 
 
 Sarah, servant to the Primtners. . 4^ a H J ^ cL 
 
 Kitty, servant to Miss Stopper. 
 
 Scene laid in New York City. 
 
 Act L — Home of the Primmers. Evening. 
 
 Act IL — Home of Miss Stopper. Morning. 
 
 LIST OF PROPERTIES. 
 
 Letter for Mrs. P.; letter for Prim, ; letter for Frank; pen, ink, and paper; 
 photograph for Lucy, and newspaper ; book ; breakfast-service for two ; certifi- 
 cate of deposit for Phunnel ; cigars ; embroidery for Mrs. P. 
 
 Costumes. — Modern. 
 
 Time — Present day. 
 
 Time of presentation, one hour and a half. 
 
 Copyright, 1891, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 
 TMP96-0C655)6 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Scene. — Sitting-roofn in home of the Prifnmers, well fur- 
 nished. Bookcase or library table, back l. c. Table, L. c, with 
 lamp and writing materials. Chair, L. ; sofa, R. Door R. ajid 
 L. Double door, c. Mr. Primmers discovered at table, c, writ- 
 ing. At rising of curtain, enter Mrs. Primmers, \.. front c. 
 
 Mrs. Primmers {laiighing ; holding up open letter'). Ha, ha, 
 ha! here's another, Percy! There's nothing hke being in the 
 swim ! {Sits r.) 
 
 Primmers. How much is it, dear.? 
 
 Mrs. p. How much is it ! Why, bless your heart, this is not 
 a bill I Listen ! {Reads.) Mr. and Mrs. Solomon Nathan re- 
 quest the pleasure of your company Monday evening. 
 
 Prim. I expected that ! {J\ings bell.) 
 
 Mrs. p. I love society, Percy, hnt please let us draw the line 
 somewhere / {fTakes up work.) 
 
 {Enter Sarah, Q..fro7n l.) 
 
 Prim, {to Sarah). See that this is mailed to-nisht. 
 
 Mrs. p. I have to meet a great many women whom it is hard 
 even to tolerate, but that Mrs. Nathan and her lumpy daughter are 
 absolutely overpowering. Why do you insist, Percy, on our accept- 
 ing invitations from such people ? 
 
 Mr. Prim. Policy, my dear, policy. My profession is not as 
 yet sufficiently lucrative to allow me the privilege of choosing our 
 acquaintances. Mr. Solomon Nathan, you know, is a leading 
 member of the Wall Street banking-house of Schwartz Bros., and 
 Nathan a man whose counsel is sought by investors and profes- 
 sional men alike. To the one he dispenses advice ; to the other 
 he introduces clients, or men of his numerous acquaintance who 
 are likel}^ to become so. 
 
 Mrs. p. But his family is utterly intolerable ! Such taste ! such 
 vulgarity in manners and dress as that wife of his displays is 
 shocking ! And the daughter! Did you notice her at Mrs. Love's 
 the other evening .'' Her arms and hands looked for all the world 
 as if they had been boiled. She is my conception of an heiress 
 suddenly lifted into society by a rise in pork j and were she not a 
 Jewess, I should certainly form the conclusion that her father had 
 made his money sticking pigs. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 3 
 
4 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Prim. Ha, ha, ha ! Very good ! a Hebrew pork-packer ! No, 
 my dear ; though I'll admit that Mr. Nathan's style is slightly sug- 
 gestive of Baxter Street, he is an able financier and thoroughly 
 reliable. His family must be tolerated for the sake of its head, 
 and just now we are very much in need of his influence. Besides, 
 Frank, the dear boy, expects me to push his suit to set aside his 
 father's will. He, as you know, has retained me as principal coun- 
 sel, and I have promised to use my influence with Nathan to 
 secure a loan with which to carry on the suit. You'll remember 
 Frank's father left the bulk of his property, mostly cash, to endow 
 an orphan asylum, leaving his only son poor enough to enter it. 
 We have good proof with which to establish a case of undue influ- 
 ence and conspiracy on the part of one Phineas Phunnel, a whining 
 crank who is the prime mover in the hospital scheme, and to 
 whom the money was left in trust. Now, as we propose to use 
 Nathan's influence and Nathan's money (if we can get it), it won't 
 do to slight Nathan's estimable, though possibly vulgar, family, in 
 the operation ! 
 
 Mrs. p. Fm afraid, dear, you'll find it pretty hard getting 
 money from him without good security. 
 
 Prim. Ah, that's just it ! The letter I have just sent is addressed 
 to him, and offers him a sufficiently tempting bait to insure his 
 co-operation. 
 
 Mrs. p. It does seem too bad that Frank's father should have 
 ruined the boy's prospects. Poor Frank! He's so desperately 
 in love, too! Ha, ha, ha! It amuses me to watch his face when 
 he talks of that divine girl, as he calls her. I wonder, when they 
 are married, if the divinity will all evaporate. Ah me, these foolish 
 lovers ! 
 
 {Enter Lucy and Frank Q.^froin l.) 
 
 Lucy. Don't let us disturb you. {Goes to R., kisses Mrs. P. 
 a7id shakes hands nvith Prim.) Good-evening, Mr. Primmers. 
 Please excuse our breaking in on you so unceremoniously. 
 
 Mrs. p. Let me take your cloak, Lucy. 
 
 Lucy {i^oing to l.). No, I won't take off" my things, thank you ; 
 we can only stop a minute. {Sits l.) 
 
 Frank {coming forwa7-d\ It's a shame to disturb you, you 
 look so comfortable. 
 
 Prim. Not a bit of it. Glad to see you, my boy. {Goes L. to 
 Lucy.) 
 
 Mrs. p. Come and sit by me, Frank. {Sits r., sofa^ 
 
 Lucy. Perhaps you are curious to know to what fortunate cir- 
 cumstances you are indebted for this — this — 
 
 Frank. Unseemly intrusion. 
 
 Lucy. Thanks, Frank. You know he supplies the punctuation 
 to all my speeches now. 
 
 Frank. By Jove ! when she is talking, it's hard for me to get 
 even a comma or semicolon in edgewise, — and never a period. 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 5 
 
 Mrs. p. I heard you punctuating one of her speeches the 
 other evening. It sounded very much like — {makes sound of 
 kissing). Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Lucy. The idea! {Goes to R., back of sofa.) 
 
 Prim. Ha,. ha, ha! Don't blush, Miss Lowborn. {Goes to 
 table, L. w. c.) 
 
 Frank. Ha, lia, ha ! Preposterous/ 
 ■ Lucy. Perhaps you think 1 am incapable of blushing, Mr. 
 Ivicc. The fact is, we met quite unexpectedly — 
 
 Frank. Same as we did last night. 
 
 Lucy. Well, you know we ^i'/V/meet unexpectedly, — because — 
 
 Frank. I happened to be in waiting for you an hour earlier 
 than you expected. 
 
 Lucy. Dear me ; how particular you are ! {Goes to table, 
 
 L. c.) 
 
 Frank. You see, her aunt has an engagement to meet the 
 Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, or something of 
 the sort. 
 
 Lucy. The Woman's Guard of Honor Society. 
 
 Fra\k Same thing. Well, as her aunt objects to my society, 
 we wished to avoid conflicting dates, and I was appointed a com- 
 mittee of one to watch the house until her departure, and, as luck 
 woukl have it, she started from home an hour earlier than usual. 
 As there is a slight misunderstanding between their dog and 
 myself, we concluded we had better take a walk and — 
 
 Lucy. I su>^gested'that we inflict ourselves on you. 
 
 Mrs. p. We are very glad you did. Percy and I were talking 
 about you two people not a minute before you came in. 
 
 Prim. Yes, we were discussing your affairs, Frank. {To 
 Lucy.) I suppose you know Frank has a lawsuit on his hands ? 
 
 Lucy. Oh, yes, indeed ! The boy talks to me of nothing else 
 but plaintiff and defendant and lawyers' fees, until I almost feel 
 that 1 know all about it. 
 
 Mrs. p. And I have heard nothing for a week from Percy but 
 speeches to the jury. {Rising.) Your honor. I appear as coun- 
 sel for the plaintiff — ahem — Ha, ha, ha ! {Goes to table, l. c.) 
 
 Frank. Have you got to that yet ? 
 
 Prim, {coming to r.). Not quite; but I have looked up and 
 si ted die law bearing on your father's will, and it appears to me to 
 be the simplest thing in the world to have it set aside. Our great 
 obstacle is need of funds, — for it will require funds and time. 
 However, I have just written to a friend of mine, a prominent 
 banker, asking for an appointment in the morning, and if my nego- 
 tiations are successful, our iriend Phunnel must look to himself. 
 
 Lucy {goim^ r. of s if a). I am out of patience with aunty! 
 Since the advent of that man, our entire domestic economy has 
 been upset. The house has been invaded by this committee and 
 that society, and contrilnitions come pouring in for the heathen 
 from every corner of the glo'oe. {Sits R.) 
 
Mrs. p. 
 Prim. 
 
 6 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Frank. The money those people raise would free Ireland! 
 (^Rising, goes to L.) I heard Phunnel at a meeting the other 
 evening {ijnitating hi?n). '' It is a noble work, my friends, requiring 
 self-denial and earnest effort." And round goes the contribution- 
 box, to raise money, I suppose, to buy seal-skin sacks for the Fiji 
 Islanders I Ka, ha, ha! {Takes turn up stage L.) 
 
 ™ ^, > Ha, ha, ha! 
 Together. \^^;^^^^^^, 
 
 (Mrs. P. goes to table c.) 
 
 Lucy. He has completely set aunty against Frank ; and Kitty, 
 our servant, has instructions not to admit him. 
 
 Frank (l). The dog has his instructions also. 
 
 Prim, {going to l.). Never mind! we'll set you right before 
 long. The first thing to do is to crush Phunnel. When that is 
 accomplished, Miss Stopper will call off the dog, I've no doubt. 
 
 {Enter Sarah, q. from l.) 
 
 Sarah {Jianding Mrs. P. cards on salver^. A lady and gentle- 
 man have just called ; here are their cards, Mum. 
 
 Mrs. p. (c. reading cards). Miss Phcebe Stopper — Mr. 
 Phineas Phunnel! {Looks with alarfn at Liccy.) 
 
 Lucy. Aunty! 
 
 Frank. Phunnel! To the fire-escape, — follow me ! {Rushes 
 to R.) 
 
 Mrs,, v. {laughing). No, no, Frank ! nof there — here! {Bi4s- 
 tles them ojfl.. ; goes to R.) 
 
 Miss Stop, {without). I know the way perfectly. 
 
 {Enter Stopper ^W Phunnel, c.from l.) 
 
 Stop. Ah, how fortunate to find you at home. Good-evening, 
 Mr. Primmers. I called this afternoon, but your servant said you 
 had gone out shopping. (Mrs. P. is about to speak.) Not a word, 
 it's of no consequence. Phunnel, dismiss the carriage ! We were 
 very fortunate in meeting a carriage. Phunnel hailed it, and here 
 we are. {Sits r. ; exit Phunnel, c. to l.) 
 
 Mrs. p. Won't you remove your things ? 
 
 Stop. No, thank you ; we are on our way to a society meeting, 
 and have but a few minutes to spare. 
 
 Mrs. p. I'm glad to see you looking so well, Miss Stopper. 
 
 Stop. Well, — I never felt v^^orse in my life, — my nerves are 
 fairly shattered. 
 
 Prim, {aside). It's a pitv her tongue isn't shattered. {Aloud.) 
 I thought, when you came in, you didn't look quite yourself 
 
 Stop. Not quite myself! I never felt tnore myself than I do 
 this minute. I have a purpose in hfe, and, thank Heaven, the 
 strength to carry it out. Now that we're here, whatever Phunnel 
 may do or say, I'm not to be stopped until I have laid our plans 
 before you. You haven't met Phunnel } It is my privilege to be 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. ^ 
 
 on the most intimate terms with him. Though we both seek the 
 enhcrhtenment and uphftment unto better things of our fellow-man, 
 we s"earch m different byways, think different thoughts, and pluck 
 up different weeds in the great garden of humanity. In our difter- 
 ent helds we plough and harrow our fellow-man, and we shall 
 nut rest until we have harvested the crop, and gathered it mto our 
 diiierent barns. 
 
 1^^1M. {aside). I wish I could gather her into a barn ; 1 d burn 
 tlie b,irn. 
 
 Mrs. p. Your metaphor is beautiful. Miss Stopper ; m tact, it 
 is — is — what shall I say } c • a 
 
 Stop. Say notJiiiig ! It's of no consequence. But, my friends, 
 you ivill know Phunnel. {Enter Phunnel, c. froin L. ; he sits 
 gingerly K. of table.) Ah, here he is. Mr. Phunnel, allow me to 
 introduce to you my young friends, Mr. and Mrs. Primmers. Sit 
 down, Phunnel. Now. listen to me. 
 
 Phux. My dear Miss Stopper, might I — 
 
 Stop. Not a word ; it's of no consequence. 
 
 Phun. But, the coachman — 
 
 Stop. Well ? 
 
 Phun. Intimated that \\\^ fare would be acceptable. 
 
 Stop. Well! 
 
 Phun. That's \\. — is it well ? I thought I'd ask you. 
 
 Stop. What do you mean ? 
 
 Pkim. {aside). Mr. Phunnel is rather a rapid com<ersationalist ! 
 
 Phun. Why, I found I had left my pocket-book at home, and 
 when I told the driver to wait till I got his fare from you, he said it 
 was all xVAw, that he knew Mr. Primmers, and would charge it to him. 
 
 Pkim. \aside). The devil ! {Aloud.) Quite right, my dear sir. 
 
 Stop Nothing of the kind. {Producing pocket-book.) As it 
 will be charo-ed \o you, Mr. Primmers, I insist on handing you the 
 •imount As lie only carried us a few blocks, it can't be more than 
 a - quarter " apiece ; here, sir, is the half-dollar. {Ojferingcoin.) 
 
 Prim (aside). A half-dollar! he'll charge me three dollars if 
 he charges me a cent. {Aloud.) My dear madam, you must excuse 
 my taking the money ; perhaps Mr. Biunmell — 
 
 'V\\\}^^ Phunnel, sir! , i • a 
 
 Prim. Ah, yes ! perhaps Mr. Phunnel will see the driver, and 
 
 hand him the half-dollar. 
 
 Phun. {reaching for coin). I shall be delighted. ^ 
 
 Stop, {returning coin to pocket-book). 1 think not ! it s ot no 
 consequence. {Sorts papers in hand-bag.) 
 
 Mrs p. {has been lookim^ off \.. anxiously: smiling knowingly 
 at Prim.). My dear Miss' Stopper, pray excuse me a moment 
 while 1 give an order to my servant. v T\/rT,c 
 
 Stop. Certainly, madam. It's of no consequence, {hxi MRS. 
 P L) Now my 'friends, listen to me! I have here {indicating 
 Mp'er) an address which I am to deliver befoie the Woman s 
 Guard of Honor Society this evening. Its subject is man! 
 
8 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Prim. An interesting subject. 
 
 Phun. a mighty subject. 
 
 Stop. Nothing of the kind. Interesting it ?7iay be, but mighty, 
 never ! Man! what is man? I ask j^//, Phunnel, what is man ? 
 
 Phun. Man t Ah, eh, — man .? Man is, eh, ah — 
 
 Stop. You don't know. I will tell you. 
 
 Prlm. {aside). The idea of asking an ass like that to define man ! 
 
 Phun. I think, my dear Miss Stopper, that man is, eh, ah — 
 
 Stop. Not a word, Phunnel: it's of no consequence. I havt 
 here an exhaustive treatise on the s-ubject, — one which will aston- 
 ish the world! But paramount to this, before and above all, is 
 another problem, the solution of which is not so easy a matter. 
 It is, What is Woman? 
 
 Prlm. An interesting subject. 
 
 Phun, A mighty subject. 
 
 Stop. Mighty indeed, and interesting beyond all calculation. 
 What is woman ? Oh, that I were a man ! 
 
 Prim. Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Stop. Sir ! 
 
 Prim. I merely smiled aloud at a passing thought. {Aside.) I 
 think, if she were a man, Pd solve her problem in about a minute. 
 
 Stop. I ask you, why is it I have not married 1 
 
 Prim, {aside). Another problem easily solved. 
 
 Stop. I asky^//, Phunnel, why? 
 
 Phun. I think, my dear Miss Stopper, possibly because you 
 are a woman. 
 
 Stop. You are right, Phunnel. It is because I am a woman 
 that I :A.mfree. I defy a?iy man to marry me. 
 
 Prim. Ha, ha, ha \ 
 
 Stop. I repeat, Oh, that I were a man ! Do you think I would 
 hamper my usefulness by giving my time entirely to my own 
 business? 
 
 Prim. I think it hardly likely. 
 
 Stop. To the sordid pursuits of life, forgetful of that higher, 
 that nobler, work, for the performance of which we must every one 
 of us give an account ? 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper — 
 
 Stop. Not a word, Phunnel! {Musingly.) I have drunk 
 deeply from the fountain of Thought, rested on the shady banks 
 that overlook the limpid stream of Progress, and, like Narcissus, 
 have seen my image reflected in its bosom. 
 
 Prim, {aside). I wish that, like Narcissus, she had fallen in 
 and drowned herself. 
 
 Stop. Did you speak, sir ? 
 
 Prim. No, no, only a passing thought. 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper, I, too, have a thought. 
 
 Stop. Keep it, Phunnel ! 
 
 Prim. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Stop. Sir? 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 9 
 
 Prim. I beg pardon ! but might I observe, Miss Stopper, that 
 you seem to feel an enthusiasm — a — 
 
 Stop. Enthusiasm I It is my Hfe ! Have you read " Looking 
 Backward " ? 
 
 Prim. Oh, yes, indeed! I think, however. Evolution will be 
 pretty badly overworked, if forced to bring men to perfection on 
 coti tract titne. 
 
 Stop. Ah, it is to 7is, women of to-day, to whom the world 
 nuist look tor progressive thought, for consistent action, for those 
 softening, pure, and delightful influences, for the strength and will 
 and power to crtish, to annihilate — to — to — to — 
 
 Phun. To smash / 
 
 Pkim. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Stop. Sir ! We have others' interests at heart besides our own. 
 Oh, for words to express the sentiments that choke my utterance ! 
 
 Prim, {aside). Oh, for words to choke her with ! 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper, if you'll permit me, I, eh — was 
 about to remark that the sentiments which— eh — as you say, 
 choke j^/zr utterance, eh — ah — 
 
 Stop. Well ? 
 
 Phun. Ah — eh — seem to choke viifte also. 
 
 Prim, {aside). This is indeed encouraging. (Phunnel looks 
 at Prim, and sighs audibly; aloud.) 1 think, my dear Mr. Bum- 
 fnell — 
 
 Phun. Phunnel^ 's\x\ 
 
 Prim. Ah, yes, Phunnel I I think, Mr. PJnmnel, that you 
 only need encouragement to become a really fine orator. 
 
 Phun. Ah ! my dear young friend, I need more : I need love. 
 (Prim, laui^hs softly.) How beautiful it is to have the hope which 
 love inspires ! and how transcendentally lovely it is to feel that 
 that hope is sure o^ fruition. 
 
 Prim. I should infer from your remarks that you contemplate 
 matrimony. 
 
 Stop. Since Mr. Phunnel has awakened your curiosity, Mr. 
 Primmers, I will take it upon myself to satisfy it. I believe 1 have 
 tbund in him the most suitable man to provide for and protect 
 mv niece. 
 
 'Prim. What! You don't mean to say ! Merciful heavens ! you 
 can't consent to this man's marrying Lucy. 
 
 Phun. My dear sir — 
 
 Stop. Silence, Phunnel! Mr. Primmers, my sister's child will 
 marry the man I choose for her! 
 
 Prim. But this is monstrous I 
 
 Stop. Sir! 
 
 Prim. I beg your pardon, hvil — {Aside:) We must put a stop 
 
 to this. 
 
 {Enter Mrs. Primmers.) 
 
 Stop, {rising). But enough ! I called this evening not to dis- 
 
lO COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 cuss my family aifairs, but to interest you and your wife in the 
 work of our society. Mr. Phunnel also desires your aid in his 
 hospital enterprise, of which you have doubtless heard. {Turfis 
 and talks aside with Mrs. P.) 
 
 Prim, {dryly). Yes, I believe I have. 
 
 Phun. It is a fwble work, sir, requiring self-denial and earnest 
 effort, and — 
 
 Prim. And — money. 
 
 Phun. We have some money, sir, but would like more. 
 
 Prim. A good many of us are fixed the same way. {With 
 i7itcHt.) I believe you had a legacy, an endowment — a — eh — 
 
 Phun. Ah, yes. A kind friend left us his money to develop 
 our plans — 
 
 Prim. And left his only son — jiothing / 
 
 Phun. A wild youth — untamed, in whom wealth would have 
 bred destruction. 
 
 Prim. I believe he intends to breed a little destruction without 
 
 it. Are you prepared to stand a law-suit .'* 
 
 Stop, S -t- .</ } Law-suit ! 
 T, < lo^ether, y ^ .^ , 
 
 Phun. \ ^ > Law-suit! 
 
 Phun. It will take jnoney to bring a law-suit, sir! 
 
 Prim. No matter. Of course you'll be prepared for a foolish 
 display of self-interest on the part of Mr. Frank Rice in the 
 matter "^ 
 
 Stop, /should think so. Mr. Frank Rice, indeed! Why, the 
 beggerly little Sniffie-snalfle hasn't a cent to bless himself with. 
 Let him look to himself, sir ; let him and his friends look to them- 
 selves^ sir. I am a woman of few words. I wish you to under- 
 stand, sir, that I have heard of Mr. Frank Rice's attentions to my 
 niece, and have ordered him, ordered him, sir, to darken my door 
 again at his peril. I wish you good-evening, sir. Your arm^ 
 Phunnel. 
 
 {Exit Stop. a7id Phun., c. to l. Enter Nathan, who runs into 
 thejn. He is in full evenijig dress.) 
 
 Nath. a toil sand ^2irdons, my dear madam, I beg — 
 Stop. Not a word, sir ; it's of no consequence. 
 
 {Exit c. to L.) 
 
 Mrs. p. (r.) \ Xo^.tj^,^ \ Ha, ha, ha! 
 Prim. (L.) ^logetner.)^ Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Nath. She's a regular cyclone. My dear friends, I'm glad to 
 see you enjoying all the comforts of home. Rather a stiff breeze 
 blowino; round to-night. 
 
 Mrs. p. Ha, ha, ha! Yes, it has been quite windy for a tmie. 
 How do you do, Mr. Nathan ? {They shake hands.) 
 
 Nath. (c). I had a box at the German Opera to-night, and 
 after the first act I got tired and thought I would run over and call 
 on you. {Sits.) I don't like Wagner anyhow; they say my taste 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. II 
 
 is not educated up to it, so I like to take it in small doses till I get 
 used to it. 
 
 Mrs. p. Oh, Mr. Nathan! Don't you enjoy Wagner.? I 
 adore him! 
 
 Nath. Well, as Bill Nye says, "He's not so bad as he 
 sounds." Look at it. The music begins soft and easy like {itni- 
 tating leader), when bang ! ! — crash I ! ! — bang ! ! ! — and the first 
 tiling you know, you're waked up! 
 
 Prim. Why, you don't mean to saj' you go to sleep ? 
 
 Mrs. p. Ha, ha, ha! what an idea! 
 
 Nath. Well, you just get into a quiet chain of thought when 
 suddenly there's a crash, and the destruction begins. It's worse 
 liian a bank failure. 
 
 Mrs. p. I'm afraid, Mr. Nathan, you don't appreciate the d7'a- 
 inatic fire of Wagner's music. 
 
 Nath. That's it! It's just like a fire. I can hear the flames 
 roar and the walls fall in. 
 
 Mrs. p. Ha, ha, ha! Quite realistic. 
 
 Prim. What is the opera to-night.-* 
 
 Nath. An — An/uuiser, I think. 
 
 Mrs. p. You mean Tannhduser. Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Nath. I guess that was it. By the way, you mustn't forget 
 Mrs. Nathan's reception Monday night. We're going to have the 
 Hungarian orchestra, and Wagner won't be in it. 
 
 Mrs. p. You know, Mr. Nathan, Wagner wrote his music for 
 t!ie future. 
 
 Nath. Well, his notes ain't due yet. Speaking of notes, I 
 
 heard a good story to-day. {Tells story.) You know Dahlman, 
 
 Gierschoffer, and Spiegel, of Broadway? Well, they fail last 
 
 week. Dahlman's brother Isaac was one of the principal creditors. 
 
 Dahlman called Isaac into his office, and says he, " If you'll ao-ree 
 
 to the settlement weVe going to offer, we'll make you a preferred 
 
 creditor." '• What is it.? " said Isaac. " We offer 50 cents on the 
 
 dollar, and give our notes for three months." What could he do.? 
 
 " All right," says Isaac, " Til take it." Yesterdav he went in for 
 
 his money. " We have no money for you," says Dahlman. " Good 
 
 iieavens!" says Isaac, "I thought you made me 7i preferred crtd- 
 
 itor .? " " So we did," says Dahlman ! " We've given our notes to 
 
 t ree other fellows, payable in three months! Now, when those 
 
 notes become due those fellows won't get a cejit, but it will take 
 
 tnem three months to find it out ; yo7i know it nowy 
 
 Mrs. p. 5 T,^,,/,,,, \ Ha, ha, ha! 
 DnTn, \ J o^etner. > tt ' 1 1 . 
 
 Prim. ( ^ S "a, ha, ha! 
 
 Prim. That's the way he preferred him, eh ? Won't you have 
 a smoke, Nathan ? {Offers cigar.) 
 
 Nath. Thank you, I believe I will, if Mrs. Primmers don't 
 object .? 
 
 Mrs. p. Oh, not at all! I rather enjoy cigar-smoke. Be kind 
 enough to excuse me, Mr. Nathan ; I wish to order some lunch, 
 and shall expect you to join us. 
 
IZ COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Nath. I sha,U be most happy ! 
 
 (Exii Mrs. P., c. fo l.) 
 
 Prim. (c. lighting cigar). I'm glad you called to-night, Nathan. 
 I sent you a letter which of course you couldn't have received. 
 The fact is, I have a very important suit on hand, in which over 
 one hundred thousand dollars are involved. My client has nc 
 means, and I am unable to advance any. We have a clear case 
 and are willing to divide handsomely with anyone who will lend uf 
 the money to push it. 1 think that is putting it straight, and tc 
 the point. 
 
 Nath. (r.) That was clearly put and business-like, my friend ! 
 There was one point not so clear ; who was you going to borrow 
 the money of .-* It's all very well to have a good case, my friend ; 
 but what you want is a good business jury as can see the case ! 
 Who was the plaintiff, and who was the defendant? Suppose the 
 defendant got the case, — what you got ? — noding ! 
 
 Prim. But the defendant in this suit has not the shadow of a 
 chance to retain this money ; for we are prepared to clearly prove 
 conspiracy and fraud, and that this Phineas Phunnel — 
 
 Nath. Phineas Phunnel, luhat ! 
 
 Prim. Is the defendant in the suit ? 
 
 Nath. {i?i great glee). Ha, ha, ha! that is good, that is great! 
 {Goes to L.) 
 
 Prim. What do you mean ? (Crosses to R.) 
 
 Nath. Ha, ha, ha ! Why, his agent deposited over a hundred 
 tousand dollars with our house this morning, with instructions tc 
 invest ten tousand dollars in electric stock. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Prim. Well ! 
 
 Nath. The balance was to go on deposit (without interest, 
 mind), until a suitable investment could be found for it. Ha, ha, 
 ha! 
 
 Prim. But I don't see yet what you are amused at. 
 
 Nath. Don't see! Of course you don't see, my friend! Lister, 
 to me ! You want to sue Phineas Phunnel to recover money ob 
 tained, you say, by fraud, and you have a good business case.-* 
 
 Phim. That's it ; well? 
 
 Nath. You want to borrow money to carry on the case ? Mi 
 Phineas Phunnel has deposited this money with me ; what do J 
 do ? Why, I lend you Phineas Phunnel's money to sue Phineas 
 Phunnel with I Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Prim. Ha, ha, ha ! But stop ! This money was left to Phunnel 
 for the express purpose of founding an orphan asylum ! 
 
 Nath. Jiminy Isaacs, is that so? 
 
 Prim. Now, if we can prove that he has converted one cent of 
 it to his own use, we not only win our case, but can send him over 
 the road for a term of years ! 
 
 Nath. That will settle Phunnel, eh? 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 13 
 
 {Enter Mrs. P. c.fro7n l.) 
 
 Prim. I must tell you, Nathan, that not only a large sum of 
 money, but the happiness of two young people, depends on your 
 co-operation. The fact is, my client is in love with the niece of 
 that confounded spinster with whom you colHded when you came 
 in. 
 
 Nath. You mean the cyclone .-* 
 
 Prim. Yes ! This Phunnel has wormed himself into her confi- 
 dence, and not satisfied with robbing my client of his fortune, pro- 
 poses to rob him of the girl he loves ! 
 
 Mrs. p. (r.) Why, Percy, what are you saying? 
 
 Prim. Only what Miss Stopper told me herself, that she intends 
 to marry Lucy to this Phunnel ! 
 
 Mrs. p. Horrible ! 
 
 Prim. It is war to the knife now! 
 
 {Ejtter Sarah, c.from L.) 
 
 SA.RAH. Madam, lunch is served! 
 
 Mrs. p. Come, gentlemen ! 
 
 Nath. {offer mg arm to Mrs. P.). May I have the pleasure? 
 
 {Exit Mrs. P. on Nath's ami^ c. to l.) 
 
 {Enter Frank and Lucy l.) 
 
 Prim, {going). Come, young people. 
 
 Frank. Excuse us, Percy, please. {Sits r.) 
 
 Lucy. Yes, Mr. Vx'wxwn^x?,^ please excuse us! {Waves hand 
 as if to silence objections. Frank sits dejectedly r. Lucy at 
 table., c.) 
 
 Prim. Excuse me, then, wonU you ? {Exit Prim. c. to l.) 
 
 Lucy. You look lovely in repose, Frank, hwX please don't go to 
 sleep ! Come here, and I'll show you the picture. 
 
 Frank {rising, crossing to l.). By Jove, Lucy! Pm tired of 
 being hunted from pillar to post the way we are {going to lie?'). 
 Here I am in love with the most divine girl, and {pulling out 
 his pockets^ financially broke at the same time! {Walks Jip 
 stage L.) 
 
 Lucy. Don't say broke, Frank ; it's slangy! 
 
 Frank {coming forward l.). How'll busted do ? 
 
 Lucy. Ha, ha, ha ! Well, of the two, 1 think I prefer broke. 
 
 Frank. Well, there's precious little choice ; they amount to 
 about the same thing ! To think my poor old father could have 
 been so thoughtless as to leave me without a dollar, merely to 
 allow me the supreme felicity of earning my daily bread {cross- 
 ing L.). Ha, ha, ha! By Jove! It strikes me rather funny! 
 My money gone to endow an orphan asylum, and nothing left for 
 me but to apply for admission. 
 
 Lucy. Ha, ha, ha! Fancy you in an institution, supported by 
 your expectations, with Phunnel for teacher ! 
 
14 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Frank. Don't mention that man's name, or I'll have him 
 shot! 
 
 Lucy. Don't have him shot^ Frank ; it'll only complicate matters. 
 You must rely on Mr. Primmers to straighten out your affairs. 
 
 Frank (r. c). Yes! Percy says I've got a good case, but 
 what's the good of a case with nothing to put in it.-* I think it's 
 a case of two souls with but a single income, and that belongs 
 to your con — I mean your excellent aunt! And she says we 
 must part, and stay parted. Confound it ; it's enough to drive a 
 man to work ! (c.) 
 
 Lucy {crossing to sofa R., sits). Be patient, Frank, dear. 
 Aunty will see your virtues as I see them, some day. 
 
 Frank {after a pause, suddenly). I say, Lucy, how's your 
 heart 1 I mean, does it beat .'' No, no, confound it, I don't mean 
 that ! 
 
 Lucy, Ha, ha, ha ! My heart is, I believe, in perfect order. 
 You know my aunt says I inherit good lungs (and I suppose heart 
 too) from her side of the family. 
 
 Frank. I'll warrant you didn't inherit anything else from her 
 side of the family long enough to keep it. But tell me, Lucy, do 
 you love me ? {Goes back of sofa.) 
 
 Lucy. Do you think I'd be here if I didn't love you, Frank } 
 
 Frank {dejectedly). Ah ! but it doesn't hurt you the way it 
 does me. My love for you is meat and drink to me. 
 
 Lucy {looking up into his face mischievously). Is it, Frank ? 
 Ha, ha, ha! I'm afraid you can't live long on such a slim diet 
 {goes to c). 
 
 Frank {crossing to l.). She mocks me, cruel girl! {Tragic- 
 ally.) 
 
 Lucy {putting hands on his shoulder). I'm not mocking you, 
 Frank, dear, and I do love you, you must know that. But your 
 difficulties cannot become lessened by adding to them, and it is 
 because I love you that I counsel you to patience. 
 
 Frank. But your aunt ! How do I know what influence will 
 be brought to keep us apart. 
 
 Lucy. You can trust me, can't you, Frank ? My aunt is not an 
 unjust woman, thouuh misguided, I fear, by unscrupulous people, 
 Mr. Phineas Phunnel among them. 
 
 Frank. Confound that snivelling idiot ! He shall answer for 
 every minute's separation he causes us. But if you'll promise to 
 help me, I promise that your love shall be my sun, and that each 
 little twinkling star that twinkles round that sun, shall — shall — 
 
 Lucy {mischievously). Shall twinkle for me., Frank .'* Ha, 
 ha, ha ! 
 
 Frank. Ha, ha, ha ! I'm not much on poetry, but I can play 
 short-stop with any fellow I know. But we must be going if we 
 want to get home before your precious aunt ; and, by the way, I 
 believe I'll just kiss you good-night now. {Kisses her) 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 15 
 
 {Enter Prim, hurriedly q. from l.) 
 Prim Your aunt has returned, and is raising a deuce of a row. 
 1 told her you were not here, but she insists on searching the 
 house. Here— go in there! {Bustles them off i.:) 
 
 Miss Stop, (without). Don't tell me. {Enter Stop c.fro?ni..) 
 So sir ! you have dared to lie to me, sir ! Not a word sir. Your 
 servant admits that my niece and that good-for-nothmg Frank 
 Rice came into this house. Produce them, sir ! I shall not budge 
 an inch until you produce them, sir. {Stts c.) 
 
 (Frank looics out l. cautioicsly; Prim, motions htm logo while 
 he holds aunfs attention. Exit Frank and Lucy c. to l.) 
 
 Prim. But my dear Miss Stopper ! , 
 
 Stop. Silence, sir ! Produce them, sir. It is not enough that 
 vou choose to consort with that young reprobate, but you must 
 allow him to compromise a young girl's honor by l^n"g>n§^^^^,^ 
 here. {Begins to cry.) Oh, that my poor sister's child should 
 have come to this ! {Sobbing.) 
 
 Prim. But my dear madam ! ^ ^ , .1 . • 
 
 Stop. Silence, s\r\ Produce \.htr^, s\v\ Bring forth that mis- 
 guided girl and her wretched lover, and FU mix ///;// a dose that 
 will cure his love, Fll warrant you {noise without) ; as tor her 
 — mercy, what is that ! 
 
 {Enter Nath. wildly, Q.from l.) 
 
 Nath. Where is Phunnel, where is Phunnel ! Fve been robbed, 
 I've been robbed ! 
 
 Stop. ^""^^^^^W {Together:) 
 
 Prim. Robbed ! S "^ "^ \ 
 
 Nath. Yes, robbed ; where is Phunnel.'' 
 
 Prim Whv, vou don't suspect him ? . , , . . 
 
 NATH. No! no! A messenger, he just come _w,th th,s note 
 teCt me to cime to the bank at once ; oh, ^yhere is Phunnel ? 
 
 PiUM. What about Phunnel, man ? Speak . „...,„„„„„ 
 
 Nath. Why, the bank has been broken mto, and all the money 
 Phunnel's agent left on deposit this mornmg has been stolen! 
 ( Takes hat and coat.) , , , 
 
 Stop. Mercy ! Then Lucy and I are beggars. 
 
 {Enter Mrs. P. c.from l.) 
 
 Prim. What do you mean ? ,, , • ^^ t 
 
 Stop! That all my money is with Phunnel's, and we are rmned ! 
 {Falls into chair, Nath. rushes out c. to l.) 
 
 curtain. 
 
l6 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 SCENE. — Sitiing-roo7n in home of Miss Stopper. Breakfast 
 set for two on small table R., sofa L. Tables and chairs at back. 
 Entrance R., L. and c. Miss Stopper and Lucy discovered at 
 breakfast-table, having just finished. Lucy looking over morn- 
 ing paper. 
 
 Stop. What does it say about it, Lucy? 
 
 Lucy {absejitly). About what, aunty ? Oh, about the robbery ! 
 (J^ooks through paper. Stop. 7'ings bell.) Ah ! Here it is ! 
 
 {Enter Kitty, r.) 
 
 Stop. You may clear the table, Kitty. (7i? Lucy.) Read it, 
 dear. (Kitty clears table, and puts on it book, pen, ink, and 
 paper.) 
 
 LiiCY {reads). "Daring Bank Burglary! Schwartz Brothers 
 and Nathan the Victims ! Over a hundred thousand dollars stolen ! 
 A Wall Street Mystery ! — Last night at an early hour Officer Harris, 
 while making his rounds, thought he noticed (as he says) some- 
 thing peculiar about the lights in the banking-house of Schwartz 
 Brothers and Nalhan, Wall Street. The usually bright interior 
 was only dimly lit by a few flickering gas-jets, the electric ligiits 
 having been entirely shut off. The banking company employs no 
 watchman on account of the exposed position of the vaults, and 
 the fact that the offices are always well lighted. On investigation 
 the officer found the street door unlocked, and immediately gave the 
 alarm. It was soon learned that a robbery had been commit- 
 ted. The vault was found to be open, the combination was intact, 
 and the inner door of the vault had evidently been unlocked ! 
 Suspicion at once seemed to point to some one in the employ of the 
 bank. The bank officials are very reticent as to the amount taken, 
 but it is believed to be very large. Mr. Solomon Nathan, the presi- 
 dent, stated to a Siin reporter that a package containing upwpn's m 
 a hundred thousand dollars had been taken, but could not say hn\' 
 much more until the arrival of Mr. Little, the casliier. The strangest 
 phase of the case is the fact that the contents of the inner safe 
 seem to be undisturbed, with the exception of the package men- 
 tioned. That it should have been taken, and others of large 
 amounts left, deepens the mystery. Mr. Little was seen at his resi- 
 dence on West 55th Street, He was not prepared to make a state- 
 ment, he said, and was wholly unable to throw any light on the 
 matter." {Throwing dow7i paper.) Mr. Solomon Nathan ! Why, 
 he's quite intimate with the Primmers. 
 
 Stop. The Primmers seem to be quite intimate with everybody 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 1 7 
 
 {rising). Lucy, I'm going down town, and I wish you to remain 
 here till my return. 
 
 Lucy {rising, going to Stop. ; putting arm affectionately 
 around her). Aunty, you look tired, and not a bit well ; please 
 stay home this morning. You need rest, dear. I'll read to you, 
 and we'll be so comfortable and jolly ! 
 
 Stop, {kissing her). I'm all right, child, but a little worried. 
 Bring me my things; I have a little business to attend to and 
 sha'n't be long, aftd, send Kitty to me. 
 
 Lucy {going). Some new charity enterprise. {Exit Lucy, r.) 
 
 Stop. I must see Phunnel at once. Lucy must not know that 
 our income is compromised. Dear, dear! I'm afraid there's 
 trouble ahead for the child. 
 
 {Ejiter Kitty, r.) 
 
 Kitty. Do you want me, mum ? 
 
 Stop. Yes. I'm going out, Kitty; if any one calls, tell them 
 I'll be back soon, and — listen to me — if Mr. Frank Rice calls, 
 tell him we're not at home. Do you hear? not at home! If he 
 insists on seeing us, shut the door in his face, and keep it shut ! 
 
 Kitty. I'll do so, mum. 
 
 Stop. That is all. 
 
 {Exit Kitty, c. to l. ; enter Lucy, r.) 
 
 Lucy {brings aimfs things, and helps her on with them). 
 There you are, aunty ! {Smooths dress.) 
 
 Stop, {going, returns and kisses Lucy). Good-by, child! 
 {Going.) 
 
 Lucy. Good-by, aunty ! 
 
 {Enter Kitty, c.from L.) 
 
 Kitty. Mr. Percy Primmers ! {Exit Kitty, c. to l. ; enter 
 Primmers, c.from l.) 
 
 Prim. Ah, ladies, good-morning ! Just going out? Then, I'm 
 just in time. {Comes down c.) Has Mr. Phunnel been here this 
 morning ? 
 
 (Stop, r.. Prim, c, Lucy on sofa, l.) 
 
 Stop. He has not. I'm now going to call on him. 
 
 Prim. Ah, then I think I can be of some service to you ! I 
 have just received a message from Mr. Solomon Nathan, request- 
 \x\^^ my presence at the bank on a matter of business that may 
 interest you. You are likely to find Mr. Phunnel there also. As 
 last night's robbery cannot affect the bank's solvency, we have 
 determined to push our suit against Phunnel. I would suggest 
 the advisability of your closing up any business matters with that 
 gentleman likely to prove prejudicial to your interests in the event 
 of our winning. 
 
 Stop. You say "^w?" suit, sir? 
 
 Prim, {smiling). Well, yes. Our, I think, is the correct 
 
1 8 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 word. Of course, Mr. Rice is the most interested, and next to 
 him, possibly myself, since my professional reputation is involved. 
 And — 
 
 Stop, (^satirically). Mr. Rice's numerous creditors would 
 naturally come tiext. 
 
 Prim, {laiiglmig). Very cleverly put. Yes, possibly. But his 
 debts are not large. Besides, the main obstacle in our way has been 
 removed by Mr. Nathan, who has generously offered to supply us 
 with the money needed. 
 
 Stop. What interest can Mr. Solomon Nathan have in this 
 suit, sir .'' 
 
 Prim. A purely business one. He considers our case suffi- 
 ciently strong to warrant him in speculating on it a little. {Sfnil- 
 ing, and looking with intent at Lucy.) There are others interested 
 in Mr. Frank Rice's prospects — but no more of that now. I 
 have a carriage at the door and would be glad of 3'our company 
 down town. 
 
 Stop, (^stiffly). Thank you! {To Lucy.) Good-by, dear! 
 {Kissing her.) 
 
 Lucy. Good-by, aunty ! Good-morning, Mr. Primmers ! 
 
 {Exit Stop., c. to l.) 
 
 Prim. Good- morning, Miss Lowborn ! {Slips letter contain- 
 ing photograpJi in her hand. Exit Prim., c. to l.) 
 
 Lucy. From Frank ! {Kissing letter, afid coniifig dowji stage.") 
 Dear me, how strange aunty seems ! She's not herself at all. I 
 haven't heard her scold Kitty once this morning. {Opens letter.) 
 She seems to be the only one able to see Mr. Phineas Phunnel's 
 virtues. The horrid old sneak, how I detest him ! {Holding up 
 photograph; sits on sofa.) Dear old Frank ! I wish aunty wouldn't 
 be so hard on you! {Kissijig photograph.) Dear old Frank! 
 You dear {kisses photograph), stupid {kiss), sweet {kiss), old 
 darlincr ! I love you anyway, even if you aren't a poet ! {Address- 
 ing photoc^raph". Enter 'Phunnel, who stands in door, c.) 
 When we 'are married and comfortably settled in our own little 
 home, ril teach you to mind your P's and Q's ! You sha'n't stay 
 out nights, you bad boy, and you can't play short-stop any more ! 
 
 Phun. Ahem ! 
 
 Lucy {J7mipin(r up, and hiding photograph and letter). What 
 do you mean, you horrible man, by stealing in on one like a 
 spectre ? 
 
 Phun. Do I contemplate Innocence communing with herself? 
 How sweet to contemplate Innocence in any form ! 
 
 Lucy {crossin^^ to r.). It innst be quite a treat to some people ! 
 
 Phun. You are youncr and beautiful. My heart hungers for 
 the voung and the beautiful. 
 
 l^\JCY\drvlv). Thank you. Mr. Phunnel, you flatter me! 
 Won't you be seated ? Aunty has gone out, but will be back 
 shortly. 
 
. COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. I9 
 
 Phun. (sits L. gingerly, looking straight at audience ; Lucy 
 takes book and sits R. of table, R, ; conceals letter in book and 
 begins to read; Phun. regards her as if making up his mind to 
 speak). Ahem ! 
 
 Lucy (^looking up). Did you speak ? 
 
 Phun. No-o. 
 
 Lucy. Oh, 1 thought you did ! 
 
 Phun. {after a pause, sighs audibly). Ah-h. 
 
 Lucy. Aren't you well .'' 
 
 Phun. My heart is sick. 
 
 Lucy {absently). Have you tried digitalis? 
 
 Phun. How.? 
 
 Lucy. Nothing. 
 
 Phun. {si^hs very loud). Ah-h ! 
 
 Lucy. Ha, ha, ha ! {Covers her face with book, and peeping at 
 him.) 
 
 Phun. {rising and crossing to her). How sweet are the uses of 
 adversity ! 
 
 Lucy {absently). Are they? I hadn't noticed it. {Looking 
 up, and pretending to recollect herself) Oh, — what were you 
 saying, Mr. Phunnel ? My thoughts were miles away. 
 
 Phun. You seem interested in your book. May I ask what it 
 is you are reading? 
 
 Lucy {resting book on her lap). Oh, yes! It's a love story. 
 You see, a lovely young girl is in love with such a nice young man. 
 Well, the young lady lives with her aunt, and is kept away from 
 the young man she loves through the influence of an old fool of 
 a man, who tells horrid stories about him, — to the aunt, you 
 know ! This old cra7tk of a man bores everybody to death he 
 comes near, and — oh, it's just awfully interesting! {Resiutting 
 her book, and smiling behijid it.) 
 
 Phun. {aside). I wonder what she means ! {Aloud.) My 
 dear Miss Lowborn, I have something on my mind. 
 
 Lucy. Is it possible ? 
 
 Phun. Something of importance to tell you. 
 
 Lucy. Won't it keep till aunty comes ? It won't ? Very well, 
 then. {Lays down book, and makes a great show of preparing 
 herself to listen.) Now, then, I'm all attention, sir. 
 
 Phun. {embarrassed). It may surprise you, my dear Miss 
 Lowborn, that in one of my years the tender sentiment of love 
 should have taken root. 
 
 Lucy. How interesting! 
 
 Phun. But — but. eh, ah — I'm afraid I tire you ? 
 
 Lucy. Oh, no., Mr. Phunnel ! You positively rest me. 
 
 Phun. Do 1 ? I'm so glad ! {Hesitates.) 
 
 Lucy. You were saying, Mr Phunnel ? 
 
 Phun. Oh, ves-s-eh — {Smiles foolishly.) 
 
 Lucy {merri'lv). Ha. ha, h:i ! Funny., isn't it? 
 
 Phun. {soberly). May I ask to what you refer? 
 
20 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Lucy {hurriedly). Oh, no! I mean — sad, isn't it? 
 
 Phun. {sighs deeply, takes turn across stage to L. ; LuCY covers 
 her face with handkerchief and laughs softly'). As I remarked 
 before, you may be surprised to learn that in one of my years the 
 tender sentiment of love should have taken root. 
 
 Lucy {aside). Evidently studied. {/I loud.) I don't remem- 
 ber your having remarked that before. {Aside.) I wonder if he 
 can take a hint! {Aloud.) Hadn't you better sit down, M 
 Phunnel ! You look tired. 
 
 Phun. (r.). My dear Lucy, is it possible you don't know ho 
 madly in love I am .'' {Tries to take her hand.) 
 
 Lucy {avoiding him and going to L.). I feel deeply sorry for 
 you, Mr. Phunnel, but — don't you think it's very 'wa?'?n here? 
 {Aside.) What shall I do ? 
 
 Phun. Don't pretend to misunderstand me, Lucy. . I love you 
 {trying to take her ha?id), I love you with all my heart ! 
 
 Lucy {avoidifig him, and bursting out laughing). Me ? — love 
 me ? Ha, ha, ha ! Ha, ha, ha ! I thought it was aicnty ! 
 
 Phun. {showing his teeth. Aside). She laughs at me, insolent 
 hussy ! {Aloud.) Come, you must, you shall answer me. I love 
 you ! {Seizes her in his arms, and forcibly kisses her.) 
 
 Lucy. Oh ! {Screams.) 
 
 {Enter Frank, c.from l.) 
 
 Frank. Hello, what's this ? {Seizes Phunnel by the throaty 
 and throws him violently to the floor's^. ; \J6Q.Y falls into Frank's 
 ar7ns sobbing.) What is it, Lucy ? has he dared f 
 
 Lucy. He has shamefully insulted me! 
 
 Phun. {rising to his feet). You shall answer for this, sir! 
 
 Frank {seizing him by throat and shaking him). You miser- 
 able cur, I'll make a three-base hit off your miserable carcass if 
 you don't instantly beg the young lady's pardon. Down on your 
 knees {forcing him on his knees). Now — out with it ! 
 
 {Enter Stop., c. from l.) 
 
 Stop. What is the meaning of this scene ? Phunnel, rise ! Go 
 to your room, miss. (Phunnel regains his feet, and sits wearily 
 L. ; Lucy throws kiss at Frank as she goes out; Stop, sternly 
 cotiteniplating group. Exit LuCY, c. to L.) 
 
 Stop, {to Frank). Now, sir, may I ask your business in this 
 house ? 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper — 
 
 Stop. ^'zV^^^^, Phunnel! (T".? Frank.) Explain yourself, sir ! 
 How did you gain entrance to this house, and by what right are 
 you here ? 
 
 Phun. I think he's a burglar, an assassin ! (Frank makes a 
 dash at Phun. ; Stop, steps between them ; Phun. rushes behind 
 chair ^ 
 
 Stop, {to Frank). How dare you, sir ! (Frank makes 
 another dash at Phun.) 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 21 
 
 Phun. You shall answer for this, sir! 
 
 Stop. Silence, Phunnel ! (Frank 7nakes another dash at 
 Phun., who falls behind chair.) 
 
 Phun. Murder ! 
 
 Frank ingoing to l.). Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Stop, {beside herself). This is an outrage, sir! Again I ask 
 you to explain yourself, sir. 
 
 Frank. Compose yourself, my dear madam, and I'll try to set 
 your mind at rest. (Stop, sits L. of table). You are aware that 
 I love your niece. 
 
 Stop. That matter has been discussed before, sir! I wish you 
 to avoid any further reference to it. What I do want to know, 
 and what I will know, sir, is what brings you here against my 
 express orders '^. Be brief, sir ! 
 
 Frank. I will be brevity itself, madam. I have learned from 
 Mr. Percy Primmers that your money was involved in last night's 
 robbery. (Phun. starts to go; Frank motions him to remain.) 
 I wish you to remain, Mr. Phunnel : what I have to say I desire 
 you to hear ! 
 
 Phun. Am I to be ordered .? 
 
 Stop. Sit down, Phunnel. Well, sir, proceed. 
 
 Frank. While you care nothing for the love I bear your niece, 
 you are certainly interested in protecting your interests and hers. 
 I have just come from the bank, where I certainly expected to find 
 Mr. Phunnel. It is a matter of surprise to Mr. Solomon Nathan 
 and all concerned, that, while Mr. Phunnel would seem to be the 
 most interested in the amount stolen, and the effect its loss may 
 have on the bank's solvency, he has been so far the hardest to find. 
 Perhaps he can explain this satisfactorily. I have but a word more 
 to say. I arrived in time to be a witness to a scene : I shall have 
 the occasion to call your attention to Mr. Phunnel at my earliest 
 convenience. I wish to say further, that a clew has been found to 
 the bank robbery (Phun. starts), and that the apprehension of 
 the thief is only a question of a very short time. I have the honor 
 to wish you good-morning ! {Bows. Exit c. to L.) 
 
 Stov. {rising). Insolent puppy ! 
 
 Phun. {aside). He says they have a clew. {Laughs softly.) 
 
 Stop. Now, Mr. Phunnel, perhaps j<?// can tell me the meaning 
 of all this? 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper — 
 
 Stop. Sit do7un, Phunnel! / have been to the bank where I 
 saw your agent ; I don't like that man ! 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss — 
 
 Stop. Silence, sir ! Allow me to finish. I gave you orders to 
 invest my money with yours, and have just learned that you re- 
 ceived a deposit certificate for the entire amount in your own 
 name ! 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper, simply for convenience, ah, my 
 agent will hand you a check — 
 
22 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 Stop, /think not! I have been advised to secure my mon • 
 before the entire deposit is a/tached hy Mr. Frank Rice's attorm 
 in his suit against you. {Rmgs bell, and looks in hand-bag.') 
 
 Phun. {aside). They won't find much of my money to attacl 
 {Laughs softly.) 
 
 Stop, {producing check). Here, sir ! oblige me by writing a 
 check for fifteen thousand three hundred dollars, payable to me. 
 
 {Enter Kitty, Q.from l.) 
 
 Kitty. Did you ring, mum ? 
 
 Stop. If any one calls, Kitty, let them wait for me here. 
 
 Kitty. Yes, mum. 
 
 Stop. Mr. Phunnel, we can finish our business in the library. 
 {Exit Stop, and Phun., r.) 
 
 Kitty. Sure what a mornin' this has been ; first one and ther 
 the other. I thought a cyclone had struck me entirely when tiiat 
 Mr. Frank Rice came in. Shut the door in his face, indeed. Sure 
 he put one foot in the minute I opened it, and the rest of him fol- 
 lowed in a jiffy {pulling coiji from pocket). Bad luck to him for 
 giving me this {bites it), a fifty cent piece too. 
 
 {Enter Lucy and Mrs. P., c. from l.) 
 
 Lucy. I'm so glad you've come. Kitty, where is aunty ? 
 
 Kitty. She's in the library with Mr. Phunnel, miss. {Exit c. 
 to L.) 
 
 Lucy {aside). Closeted with that reptile again ! Sit down 
 here, Mrs. Primmers. (Mrs. P. sits c. ; Lucy on stool at her feet.) 
 Now, then, I can talk to you comfortably. I've such heaps oi 
 things to tell you. 
 
 Mrs. p. But first tell me how you got home last night. I tolc^ 
 Percy there would be a storm at your house. Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 Lucy. Ha, ha, ha! It wasn't bad at all. Frank brought me 
 home in a carriage, and I was all nicely tucked up in bed before 
 aunty came. Poor aunty ! She looked so worried, and was really 
 so tired, she almost forgot to scold me. This morning Mr. Prim- 
 mers called. 
 
 Mrs. p. Was Percy here ? 
 
 Lucy. Yes. He and aunty rode down town together, and she 
 returned just in time to catch Frank here. 
 
 Mrs. p. The audacious young scamp! He's braver than 1 
 thought. 
 
 Lucy. And he's as nice and good as he is brave. 
 
 Mrs. p. {smiling). Oi course he is. Ha, ha, ha! And you 
 know he's in love with the most divine girl in the world. {Laugh- 
 ing.) 
 
 Lucy. Please don't make fun of me. I don't know what I should 
 have done this morning but for him. What would you say if I 
 told you I had had a proposal } 
 
 Mrs. p. I should think it likely if Frank — 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 23 
 
 Lucy. Oh, no! Not Frank {rising). No Jess a personage 
 than our friend Mr. Phineas Phunnel. Ha, ha, ha ! {Goes from 
 laughing to crying ; sobs.) 
 
 Mrs. p. Mr. Phineas Phunnel! Ha, ha, ha ! {Seeing Lucv 
 in tears.) But what's the matter, dear ? Come tell me all about it. 
 
 Lucy. The horrid thing had the meanness to insult me. 
 
 Mrs. p. He ought to be horse-whipped! 
 
 Lucy. He will be. Frank's going to ! 
 
 {Enter Kitty, c.from l.) 
 
 Kitty. Mr. Solomon Nathan. {Exit c. to l. ; enter Nath., 
 C.froni L.) 
 
 Nath. Ah, ladies, delighted. My dear Mrs. Primmers, so glad 
 to see you so shortly again. 
 
 Mrs. p. You haven't met Miss Lowborn, I believe, Mr. 
 Nathan ? 
 
 Nath. I'm pleased to meet you, my dear young lady. I called 
 to see Mr. Phunnel. 
 
 Lucy. He's engaged with aunty. Won't you be seated, sir ? 
 I'll call him. Excuse me one moment, Mrs. Primmers. {Exit 
 Lucy, r.) 
 
 Nath. {bows). My dear Mrs. Primmers, I have a* charming 
 morning's business with your husband and Mr. Rice. They will 
 be here soon to see Mr. Phunnel. 
 
 Mrs. p. Mr. Phunnel seems to be in demand. 
 
 Nath. Ha, ha, ha ! that is good. Mr. Phunnel seems to be in 
 demand. We will all soon see Mr. Phunnel, my dear Mrs. 
 Primmers. 
 
 {Enter Lucy, r.) 
 
 Lucy. Mr. Phunnel will be with you in a minute, Mr. Nathan. 
 You'll excuse us, won't you ? Mrs. Primmers, please come with 
 me. Mr. Phunnel won't keep you waiting long, sir. {Exit LuCY 
 and Mrs. P., l.) 
 
 Nath. I'll wait. I've done nothing but wait since I got up 
 this morning. I'll be a waiter next {slyly), though it wouldn't be 
 the first time. I remember when Mrs. Nathan's father used to 
 keep the little restaurant on Baxter Street. He hired me for a 
 waiter. I waited till he died, and then married his daughter. He 
 was one of the smartest men I ever saw. He fail five times in 
 one year. Saturday nights, when he paid me my week's wages, he 
 used to invite me to play poker with him in the little back parlor, 
 and then he'd win the week's wages all back again. One night I 
 thought I had him. He dealt me threefives. What could I do .-^ I 
 bet a dollar and a half before the draw. He stayed, and I took 
 two cards and caught anotheryfz/^? spot — four fives. What could 
 I do? I bet two dollars; he raised me five. What could I do 
 Vi'xXh four fve spots? I raised him five dollars, and he raised me 
 back ten / What could I do with four five spots ? I called him. 
 
24 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 And he had — four livht nine spots! {Enter Phunnel, r.) 
 Mr. Phunnel, I beh'eve. My name is Nathan — Solomon Nathan 
 — president of Schwartz Bros. & Nathan, Wall Street. 
 
 Phun. I'm glad to meet you, my dear sir. 
 
 Nath. Glad to meet me ! Do you know what I think, my 
 friend, you don't look it ! If you'll be seated, my dear friend, I wish 
 to have a little business conversation with you. ( 77iey sit, Phun. 
 R., Nath. l. ; after a short pause.) I am an honest man ! 
 
 Phun. I trust so, sir. 
 
 Nath. {excitedly). You don't doubt it, do you? I want you to 
 Understand, my friend, I don't stand no foolish business! 
 
 Phun. {soothingly). I assure you, my dear sir — 
 
 Nath. Well, then, my friend, we can talk nice and business- 
 like. In the first place, you've got a certificate of deposit {cou- 
 S2ilting memorandum) for $i 15,300.00 .-* 
 
 Phun. My dear sir, my agent — 
 
 Nath. Wait a minute, my friend, have you got it? 
 
 Phun. I was about to say, sir, that my agent — 
 
 Nath. Wait a minute, my friend. Have yon got it? 
 
 Phun. I have ; here it is. {Producing it.) 
 
 '^K'YK.' {snatching it). Why didn't you say so, my friend? 
 {Cojnes forward, c.) 
 
 Phun. {rising; excitedly). What, sir, do you mean? Return 
 that to me instantly, sir, or I'll call an officer ! 
 
 Nath. Wait a minute ; don't get excited, my friend. {Looking 
 over certificate.) This calls for $115,300.00. Is this money all 
 yours, my friend ? 
 
 Phun. I deny your right to question me. 
 
 Nath. Very well, my friend, then we understand each other. 
 I happen to know that a certain part of this money does not belong 
 to you, my friend. {Returns certificate.) 
 
 Phun. Why — 
 
 Nath. Wait a minute. I have been approached by Mr. Percy 
 Primmers about lending him the money to carry on a suit brought 
 to recover the balance of it, my friend. I am an honest man. 
 
 Phun. So you remarked before. 
 
 Nath. Will you wait a minute, my friend ? I want to talk nice 
 with you. Do you think I was fool enough to advance money to 
 push a suit if they got no show to win it ? 
 
 Phun. What is all this to me ? 
 
 Nath. One moment, tny friend. I happen to know among 
 other things that I was robbed last night. Do you think I was fool 
 enough tobelieve that a professional burglar would take a particu- 
 lar package and leave thousands of dollars loose ? We have a 
 cle7v, my friend. {Going to door, c.) 
 
 Phun, Another clew ! 
 
 Nath. {coming forward). And I want to tell you, as an honest 
 man, that I don't want _y^//r money attached in a suit that I have an 
 interest in, as long as you're a depositor with our house. I have 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 25 
 
 a professional pride, my friend, and desire to protect my custom- 
 ers. 
 
 Phun. I am gratified, my dear sir, to know my interests are 
 safe in your hands. 
 
 {Eftter Stop., r.) 
 
 Stop. I'm not so sure of that. 
 
 Nath. {aside). I shall have a talk with the cyclone. 
 
 Stop. This is Mr. Solomon Nathan, I believe ? 
 
 Nath. {bows). Your belief is well founded, my dear madam. 
 
 Phun. I wish to observe — 
 
 Stop. Silence^ Phunnel ! 
 
 Nath. {sitting l.). Ha, ha, ha! He wishes to observe. Ha, 
 ha, ha ! 
 
 Stop. Mr. Nathan! 
 
 Nath. {?wt noticing). I'll bet five dollars and a half his obser- 
 vation's limited when she's around — 
 
 Stop. Mr. Nathan! 
 
 Nath. {still not noticing). I'd like to see her bulldoze me — 
 
 Stop. Mr. Nathan ! {Stamping her foot.) 
 
 Nath. {jumping up). My dear madam — 
 
 Stop. 1 think I overheard you say you have a professional 
 pride in protecting your customers. You'll excuse me if I have 
 my own idea as to that. 
 
 Phun. My dear Miss Stopper — 
 
 Stop. Silence., Phunnel! 
 
 Nath. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 Stop. Mr. Nathan! 
 
 Nath. I'm all attention, my dear madam. 
 
 Stop. I have here {proditcing check) a check for my part of 
 the money Mr. Phunnel deposited with you, which I suppose will 
 be duly honored. 
 
 Nath, Most decidedly, my dear madam. {Looks over check 
 and returns it.) That was all quite business-like. 
 
 Stop. Then I think, sir, our business is at an end. {Very 
 stiffly.) Good-mornings Mr. Nathan. This way, Phunnel. 
 
 {Exit R. ; e7iter Mrs. P. and Lucy, who stand looking on, L.) 
 
 Phun. {following Stop. ; turns and imitates her tone). Good- 
 7nornings Mr. Nathan. 
 
 {Exit Phun., r.; Nath. crosses to r., turns; Mrs. P. and Lucy 
 laugh.) 
 
 Mrs. p. Good-morning, Mr. Nathan. Ha, ha, ha! {Imitat- 
 ino Phun. and Stop.) 
 
 Nath. Ha, ha, ha ! You have your little joke, my dear young 
 ladies. 
 
 {Enter Prim., hurriedly, c.frojn l.) 
 
 Prim. Ah, good-morning, Nathan. {To Mrs. P.) You here, 
 my dear ! {To Lucy.) Miss Lucy, glad to see you. Excuse me, 
 
26 COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 
 
 I'm in an awful hurry. Nathan, one moment. {Takes Nathan 
 aside r., a?id whispers to him. Aloud.') I'll remain here till you 
 come back. 
 
 Nath. All right, my friend. Ladies, I wish you good-morning. 
 
 Lucy. Good-morning, Mr. Nathan. 
 
 Mrs. p. Good-morning, Mr. Nathan. Ha, ha, ha! 
 
 {Exit Nath. c. to l.) 
 
 Prim. Can I see your aunt a minute } {Enter Stot.., followed 
 by Phun., r.) Ah ! here she is, and Mr. Phunnel. Glad to see 
 you, Mr. Phunnel! Will you all kindly be seated a moment? I 
 have a few words to say of interest to all of you. (Prim, stands c, 
 others sit. Stop. r. c, Phun. r., Mrs. P. l. c, Lucy l.) 
 
 Mrs. p. How mysterious we are, to be sure ! 
 
 Prim, {impressively). I have the honor to be Counsel for the 
 Plaintitf in a suit, brought to recover a certain sum of money left 
 in trust to Mr. Phineas Phunnel by the late Timothy Rice ! 
 
 Phunnel {rising). My dear sir — 
 
 Stop. Sit dowji, Phunnel ! 
 
 Prim. The package containing this money was stolen last night. 
 I have to inform you that the thief has been found and has made a 
 confession. 
 
 Phunnel {starting). Made a confession I 
 
 Prim. Implicating Phineas Phunnel as accessory! 
 
 Phunnel {starting tip). It's a lie ! 
 
 {Enter Frank c. fro7n l.) 
 
 Frank {holding up paper). It is true ! 
 
 {A II rise. Tableau?) 
 
 Stop. Mercy ! what is this t {Goes to Lucy, l.) 
 Frank. Simply that I hold in my hand a confession made by 
 Mr. Little, cashier for Schwartz Brothers and Nathan, in which he 
 charges that man {pointing to Phunnel) as his accomplice. The 
 package has been found where it had been secreted by Little until a 
 division of the plunder could be made. {Goes to r. Phunnel 
 sneaks toward c. door). Wait one moment, Mr. Phunnel. (Phun- 
 nel rushes for C. door.) Stop him ! 
 
 {Enter Nathan c.fi'om l.) 
 
 Nath. {leading Phunnel down stage to r.). One moment, my 
 dear friend. I am so glad to meet you again so shortly my dear 
 friend. I wish to talk a little business with you. Mr. Primmers, 
 will you kindly explain to the ladies and gentlemen our business 
 with our dear Mr. Phunnel ? 
 
 Phunnel. Unhand me, sir ! 
 
 Nath. One moment, my dear friend ! Now, Mr. Primmers, i"^ 
 you please — 
 
 Prim. (c. M:is. P. crosses to w. at back). I have only to say 
 
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. 2/ 
 
 that we propose to withdraw our suit against Mr. Phunnel on con- 
 dition that he turns over this money to Mr. Frank Rice, the right- 
 ful heir. The motive for Mr. Phunnel's eccentric behavior Hes in 
 the fact that to defend this suit would certainly leave him open to 
 a criminal prosecution for fraud and possibly forgery. No one 
 knows this better than he. We now propose to shorten litigation 
 in the interest of my client by demanding Mr. Phunnel's signature 
 to a formal transfer of this money, for which kindness on his part 
 we promise not to send him and his friend Mr. Little to the peni- 
 tentiary for robbery. 
 
 Phunnel. This is blackmail! 
 
 Nath. Call it what you please, my friend. Now sit down, my 
 friend. I am an honest man, — sign it here (indicating place ott 
 paper) . 
 
 Phunnel {signs paper and dashes pen to the floor. Rising). 
 You shall all answer for this ! 
 
 Stop, (rising). Silence, &k . ^Looking at him with contetnpt.) 
 Oh, you mean, perfidious wretch ! You cowardly thief I Leave 
 this house, sir ; not a word — go ! 
 
 {Exit Phunnel c. to l. Miss Stopper crosses to r., sits l. of 
 table.) 
 
 Lucy {leading Frank forward). Haven't you anything to say 
 to Frank, Aunty? 
 
 Stop. Mr. Frank Rice, I thought you were a fool. 
 
 Frank {bows). Thank you. Miss Stopper. 
 
 Stop. I have come to the conclusion I was the fool. 
 
 Nath. Ha, ha, ha ! {Goes to l. at back). 
 
 Stop. Sir! (To Frank.) Take her ; and look to yourself, sir, 
 that you keep her. {Sits r. of table.) 
 
 Nath. {cojning forward). I congratulate you, my dear young 
 friends. (Looking at watch.) I have a business engagement in 
 half an hour and must leave you. I want you all to come to Mrs. 
 Nathan's reception Monday night. Ladies and gentlemen, I wish 
 you good-morning. 
 
 All. Goo6.-morni7tg, Mr. Nathan. Ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 (Nathan backs out, bowing c. to l.). 
 CURTAIN. 
 
By the author of " Out of His Sphere." 
 
 Or. How Uncle Nathan Lost His Farm. 
 
 A New England Drama in Three Acts. 
 
 By DAVID HILL. 
 
 Author of " Forced to the War," " Out of his Sphere," " Bound by an Oath," 
 "The Granger," etc. 
 
 Ten male and five female characters. Scenery, not difficult ; costumes, modern. 
 This comedy-drama of New England life is of the general class to which " Old Jed 
 Prouty " and " Joshua Whitcomb" belong. Its scenes, character and humor are rustic ; 
 its interest, simple but strong Uncle Nathan is a strong part. Gipsy, the waif, is 
 another. Mike and Joe, good Irish comedy characters. 
 
 Price 25 cents. 
 
 S'Y"2sro:PSIS : 
 
 ACT I. Scene I. The bridal party. Ned Bardwell, the runaway. Uncle Nathan 
 and Squire Crosby. "Thejinin'of your darter to my son has sealed a bond o' 
 friendship atween us that ought to last a life time." Mike O'Connor and his new 
 clothes. Fun by the bushel. Scene II. The midnight serenade. The blunder- 
 buss. "Hello! you, there! ain't you hit?" "Bejabbers! I am; but the fiddle 
 ain't." Ned, the runaway. His interview with Gipsy. A sudden farewell. Uncle 
 Nathan excited. The serenaders happy. 
 
 ACT II. Scene I. After eleven years. Mike O'Connor creates a surprise. Crosby 
 and the bogus mine swindlers. Placer gold. The bogus offer and its refusal. 
 Gipsy's warning. *' If you love your farm don't you sign those papers." Scene II. 
 The gold mine of Rocky Run. Mike and Joe digging for gold. Gold in abundance. 
 Uncle Nathan convinced. Mortgage on the farm. Gold bricks. A curious tablet. 
 " Here — here is my tablet, Crosby. It shall be innocence beneath these papers, an' 
 a God to witness 'em above, an' if evil is in 'em, may they burn the hearts of those 
 who wrought 'em." The spectre among the rocks. Gipsy and the tin trunk. 
 " Nathan Bardwell ! this is the gold mine of Rocky Run." 
 
 ACT II. Scene I. Without a home. Mike and Joe exchange secrets. Matilda 
 again. " Yeez can have her, Joe, yeez can have her." A good ducking. Gipsy to 
 the rescue. Last day at the old farm. Ejected by the sheriff. Gipsy and the pistol. 
 " Lay a finger upon me, and you'll find me a human tigress." Scene II. Blynn in 
 search of his daughter. The mysterious letter in India ink. Ned Bardwell and 
 Gipsy. Business first and love afterwards. The demand of Richard Blynn. Cros- 
 by's refusal. The two Irishmen. "We've turned State's evidence, yer honor." 
 End of the mortgage. Scene III. Visiting the old home. "Here we are, Maria, 
 ereepin' up to our old home like two thieves in the night." Gipsy's welcome. A 
 grand explanation. Blynn and Crosby give back the farm. Another surprise. Ned 
 in the arms of his parents. Too happy for utterance. "Maria, I — I'm young 
 again. I'm put back twenty years in life." A happy termination. 
 
 FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY. 
 
 To Meet Mr. Thompson. 
 
 3=C F=PlROE 'in one T^OT. 
 
 By CLARA J. DENTON. 
 
 Price . . . . * 15 cents. 
 
 Eight female characters. Scene, a parlor, very simple ; costumes, modern, and all 
 requirements very easy. An admirable drawing-room piece. 
 
A NEW PLAY FOR THE CHILDREN. 
 
 Tle Golden Goos 
 
 Play for the Little Ones in Fonr Scenes. 
 
 By H. CUNNINGHAM. 
 
 This simple but interesting little play is dramatized 
 from the tale of " Gammer Gretchel," and exemplifies a new 
 plan of construction which, if approved by purchasers, will 
 be continued in a series of additional plays on similar sub- 
 jects. The characteristic features of Miss Cunningham's 
 play are simplicity, both of idea and expression, inexpen- 
 siveness in the getting up, and the choice of a subject 
 already familiar to the childish mind and so readily compre- 
 hended in dramatic form. Her story, besides, is entirely 
 told in action, the simple dialogue almost superfluously 
 accompanying the dramatic movement of the narrative. 
 Thus, since something is always being done as well as said, 
 the juvenile attention is firmly held to the end, and his 
 interest perpetually excited. 
 
 It has parts for ten boys and four girls, and calls for no 
 singing. The scenery is unimportant and may be easily 
 improvised as may also be the costumes. 
 
 Price, ..... 15 cents. 
 
 A B LACK D iamond. 
 
 A Comedy in Two Acts. 
 
 By M. R. ORNE. 
 
 Three male and five female characters. Scene, an easy interior; 
 costumes, modern. The leading character is a colored soubrette of the 
 general flavor of Topsy in "Uncle Tom" — a great part for a lively 
 comedy actress. Other characters good. A lively little play. 
 
 Price, - - - - 15 cents. 
 
TMK HIT OK THE SEASOM. 
 
 'Oui QE IHE S hadow. 
 
 A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS. 
 
 By A. VATTER and J. E. SPENCER. 
 
 Price, - - - - 85 cents. 
 
 Six male and three female characters. Time, the present. Scene, -^ 
 New England factory village. First played at the Vereins-Halle of the 
 Boylston Schulverein, Boston, May 27, 1889, under the title of 
 
 "A NOBLE SACRIKICE-'* 
 
 s^^2sro:psis. 
 
 ACT T. Morning. — Isabel's birthday. A husband's love and a husband's secret. 
 '* Can such joy endure?" The shadow of the past clouds the light of the present. 
 Army and Navy. A lesson in love. " A flank movement and a ' naval engagement.' " 
 The army routed. Waldemar's confession. " The man yc^irvould call father is an 
 outcast.^* The edge of the shadow. ** I will stand by her side and defy the world." 
 Questioning the fates. The foreign workman. The courage of innocence. " Here 
 vas my name ; he will remember it." The Shadow Falls. 
 
 ■ACT II. Afternoon. — Taking counsel. " Do your best, the happiness of us all de- 
 pends upon you." Proposing under difficulties. Edith's dream. Father and daughter. 
 *' It is true, he is faithful." The shadow comes again. The Rat King. Isabel's 
 scorn. '■'• Of whom are you speaking? Your husband I '''* A little light in the darkness. 
 " It is too late — too late." Isabel learns the truth. A convic#s wife. " My idol has 
 turned to clay." Isabel's flight. Tht Captain takes a tumble. Waldemar's return. 
 The deserted home. '''■ Alone ! Alone I " The blackness of THd Shadow. 
 
 ACT III. Evening — " The cigarette of peace." A looker-on at love. " Great Jupiter! 
 I can't stand it ! " The terror of uncertainty. '* He will surely come ; bat when?" 
 The meeting of old enemies. Brought to Bay. Accusation and recrimination. 
 " Cease your mockery, and tell me what you want." The price of silence. "Will 
 money bring back the dead?" A living tomb. The talisman of love. " Your child 
 lives — but not for you." A father's grief. "Do not rum her happiness as you 
 have mine." The Sacrifice. *'' My little one is dead — to me V The shadow 
 lifts. " He is gone, never to return. " Husband and wife. A conlession. "Why 
 have you not trusted me?" A bond of love. Out of the Shadow. 
 
 F orty M inutes with a C rank. 
 
 A FARCE IN ONE AGf. 
 
 By GEORGE M. BAKER. 
 Price, ------- 15 cents. 
 
 Eight male, three female characters, including a German, Irishman 
 and Darkey. Originally published under a title of " The Seldarte Craze." 
 and containing an admirable satire of certain elocutionary methods 
 
A NEW PLAY OF COLLEGE LIFE. 
 
 A FARCE IN ONE ACT. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR OF "CLASS DAY." . 
 
 Price » , 25 cents. 
 
 Three male and two female^ characters. Scenery and costumes, very 
 easy. Tom Burnham wears ladies' costume throughout the piece, and 
 all the characters may be played by men, if desired, as in the original 
 performance by Graduate Members of the Pi Eta Society, of Harvard 
 College, at Beethoven Hall, Boston, February 29, 1876. This play was 
 one of the attractions of the Murdock Testimonial Benefit, at the Boston 
 Theatre, January 19, 1S77, and has since been played many times from 
 manuscript with great success. A very funny piece and a sure hit. 
 
 . A NEW DRILL. 
 
 THE TENNIS DRILL 
 
 By MARGARET FE2ANDIE. 
 
 Reprinted by permission, from Harper's Young People, with the 
 original diagrams and illustrations. 
 
 Price 15 cents. 
 
 This pretty and picturesque entertainment will be a novel and popular 
 feature for a school exhibition, a parlor entertainment, or a lawn party. 
 Sixteen girls, or less, can take part, regulation tennis suits in two colors, 
 being worn, with fascinating " deerstalkers " and " blazers *' to match. It 
 is very easy to get up, tennis apparatus being universally handy, and is 
 highly recommended for its novelty, picturesqueness and equal adapta- 
 bility for in-door or out-door use. 
 
 1 
 
GEORGE M. -BAKER'S PLAYS. 
 
 Price 15 cents, unless otherwise stated. 
 
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 THIEF OF TIME, THE. Farce in ore 
 
 act. 6 males. 
 
 THIRTY MINUTES FOR REFRESH 
 
 ments. Farce in one act. 4 males, 3 fern. 
 THORN AMONG THE ROSES, A. Com. 
 
 edy in one act. 2 males, 8 females. 
 TITANIA. Play for children in two acts. 
 
 Many char. 25 CentS. 
 
 TOO LATE FOR THE TRAIN, Dialogue 
 
 for 2 males, introducing songs and recitations. 
 TOURNAMENT OF IDYLWENT, THE. 
 
 Allegory for 13 females. 
 VISIONS OF FREEDOM. Allegory for 
 
 16 females. 
 USING THE WEED. Farce in one act. 
 
 7 females. 
 
 WANTED, A MALE COOK. Farce in 
 
 one act. 4 males. 
 WAR OF TFK ROSES. Allegory for 8 
 
 females. 
 
 WE'RE ALL TEETOTALERS. Farce in 
 one scene. 4 males, 2 females. 
 
 WALTER H. BAKER, & CO/(p.o.box 2846), Boston, Mass. 
 
JUST PUBLISHED. 
 
 A Box Of y^ 
 
 A PARLOR FARCE IN ' 
 
 By GRACE L. FURl 
 
 [Reprintecl from Harpers' Bazar, by kind permission of Messrs. Harper and Bros,] , 
 
 Two male and three female characters. Scene, an easy interior, the 
 same for both acts ; costumes, modern. This clever little play of modern 
 society, by the author of " A Veneered Savage," and other popular 
 pieces, is strong in interest, brilliant in dialogue, sprightly and graceful 
 in movement. Under the title of " American Fascination " it was given 
 several performances last season by the Criterion Dramatic Club, of 
 Boston, with eminent success. It can be successfully played in a parlor 
 without scenery, and is in all respects an admirable successor to Miss 
 Tiffany's popular 
 
 " RICE F*UDDINQ." 
 Price, 15 cents. 
 
 THE Q OUNTRY g CHOOL 
 
 m ENTERTAINMENT IN TWO SCENES. 
 
 By M. R. ORNE. 
 
 For any number of characters, male or female, either or both, many or few, big or 
 little. Scenery, simp'e ; costumes, those of our grandfather's days; time in playing, 
 about forty minutes. The sketch carries the spectator back to his school-boy days in the 
 little red school-house, and is surp. to be very popular. 
 
 Price, ..... 15 cents. 
 
 SYiMOI^SIS: 
 
 SCENE I. Introductory. Going to school. Hookin' apples and hookin* Jack. Jokes 
 and jollity. 
 
 SCENE II. The old " deestrick skule " house. The scholars assemble. Calling the 
 roll. Excuses. The new boys — "Julius Call and Billious Call." The stuttering 
 boy. The infant class. " This is a warm doughnut ; tread on it." The arithmetic 
 f class. •' Why does an elephant have a trunk?" A history lesson. One reason why 
 George Washington's birthday is celebrated. A visitor. Somebody's "ma." A 
 very delicate child. Some fun about pickles. A visit from the school convnittee. 
 A school examination in " history, filoserpy, quotations, flirtations, an' kerdrilles." 
 Head to foot. A very bad spell. Blackboard exercises. A motion song. A crush 
 hat. More fun. A boy's composition on " boys." 
 
 Walter H. Baker & Co., 23 Winter St., Boston. 
 
 •. 4. PARKHILL * CO., rRINTERS, 222 FRANKLJN ST., BOSttfil.