■ Hfl H W 1 II t/u I MM HH ? k -** HH El H n hi Hi cr.M'"''-'''* I I HI ml B m m m ^HflHN ■BBfli ^^■v ■ H HI BflHnX Hu kBE5 gWfciwmfe. ,/A x^^ IV/xaJ/zjlto , Pb / i&Jt£JLA&^^ THE OLD SAILOR'S JOLLY BOAT, LADEN WITH TALES AND YARNS TO PLEASE ALL HANDS; PULLED BY WA, $m, 1mm, unit ^atjuK, AND STEERED BY H. M. BAEKEE, AUTHOR OP "jEM BUNT," " NAVAL SKETCHES," ETC. ILLUSTRATED WITH STEEL ENGRAVINGS BY GEORGE AND ROBERT CRUIXSHANK L K D ff : WILLOTTGITBY & CO., 22, WARWICK LANE, AND 26, SMITHFIELD; /2tT3: Pf?4o63 CONTENTS. THE INTRODUCTION • The Boatswain's Love Letter; A Tale op the late Chinese Eecollections of Service. By a Marine Officer Dick Fitton ; A Ghost Story • Yarns for all Hands. — The Electioneering Lieutenant Tunbridge Wells Election and Captain C. , The Ruling Passion Anne of Munster ..... Harry Patjlet. — An Historical Sketch . . A Chapter on Buccaneering .... The Power of Conscience . Greenwich Hospital » The "Wager by Battle . . . Calling the "Watch. — A Nautical Reminiscence. • Crossing the Line .... Captain Gardiner ..... lolonois the buccaneer .... St. LOO AND THE BoSTONIANS .... The Preacher's Horse ...» Macnamara Russell ..... Jeanette Durand . . . # Greenwich Hospital - , on Eas^r Montky • * War PASS 1 3 50 52 63 70 74 76 164 244 253 258 259 267 273 276 278 287 290 293 294 324 1LLUSTKATI0.NS. NO. FAOB 1. The Widow's Babby. Frontispiece TO FACE TITLE 2. Ornamental Title. 3. The Boatswain's Love Letter . . 7 4. Jack in Port with his Despak hes . 9 5. Bagging the Tartars '. . • 17 6. Killing the Shark . »■••--• • 28 7. Caught in a Squall . • 34 8. Hot Work in China . . . 41 9. The Boatswain's Wedding . . 50 10. Dick Fitton and Davy Jones . . 57 11. An Election Spree . • . 73 12. Save me ! — Save me ! • . 83 13. Pontoon Hotel . \ _ . 90 14. Attack on the Pontoon . . 97 15. Eaal Boys • - 108 16. Berrin at the Old Abbey . . 121 17. New Acquaintance . • • 123 18. Death of Tim . * 142 19. Connaught Justice . » 149 20. An Unexpected Visitor . . 163 21. Scattering the Enemy • * 173 22. Calling the Watch . - 268 23. Crossing the Line . . 275 24. St. Loo and the Bostonians . . 287 25. " Go at him, Jack ;" or, The Preacher's Horse . # 291 THE OLD SAILORS " Jolly-boat boys, away Naval Command. TO MY KEA.DERS. f Introduction to the First Edition.) Need I apologise for launching my little bark upon the stream of Time, and inviting my kind friends, the Public, to take a cruise with me r No ! I feel there is no necessity for it — remembrances of upwards of twenty years, in which I have enjoyed a full share of popular favour, induce me to believe that my desire to amuse and interest has hitherto been ap- preciated. At the same time, the breath of eager expectation fills my sails, and bears me on with flattering hope, that I shall still experience the generous patronage which has hitherto been extended to me. Hurrah ! then, for my Jolly Boat ! Here I shove off — haul in the painter, and down with my low. Hurrah again ! — stretch out bravely my lads ! Keep your hands and sculls in vigorous play, and never miss a single stroke that you can make ^11. Once more hurrah ! and pull heartily together, so that we may dance 2 THE OLD SAILOR S JOLLY BOAT. gallantly over the waters, though the sprays of human sympathy may some- times darken the eyes. Our thwarts shall be merry thoughts, and our sheets, though stern sheets, shall provoke to laughter. What our cargo will be remains to be seen, but much of it will accord with the Yankee entry of " Notions." There shall be no lack of " tough yarns," we have plenty of tale " blocks," and a few cases of " choice spirits" down in the ■' run" — portraits of smart beaux for ladies to wear in their hearts, and belles which gentlemen may ring when they please — pictures of life, past and present — rough and smooth — ups and downs — now a gale then a calm — fair winds in the morning and foul in the afternoon — pleasant breezes and sunshine at daylight, but frowning and squally at night. But avast ! my old and worthy friend, Ned Duncan, sings an excellent song, which exactly suits my view of the thing ; and though neither new nor original, yet pleading in extenuation the admirable sentiments conveyed, I am sure I shall be pardoned for closing my introduction with it here. SONG. " Oh ! life is the ocean, and man is the boat, That over its surface is destin'd to float ; And joy is a cargo so easily storM, That he is a fool who takes sorrow on board. We all have a taste of the ups and the downs, As Fortune dispenses her smiles and her frowns : But may we not hope, if she's frowning to-day, That to-morrow she '11 lend us the light of her ray. « I would not that man without caution should steer, 'Mid the quicksands — the rocks — that encircle him here : Be honour his compass — the needle his mind ; Let him keep to truth's course, and dull care leave behind ; There's plenty of sunshine, then why choose the shade, Half the clouds that come o'er us our own fears have made ; "We may go right a-head into joy's smiling bay ! Why run from our course to meet trouble half way. " Would summer be priz'd for its fruits and its flowers, If winter ne'er follow' d with storms, snow, and show ere; And do not the brightest of pleasures appear Still brighter when checkered by moments of care ? I ask not for gold — are there virtues in wealth So dear to the heart as contentment and health ? Oh ! give me but these, nought can add to my store ; Without them — though riches are mine — I am poor." Hurrah, then, for my Jolly Boat. — Off she goes. The Old Sailo*. THE BOATSWAIN'S LOVE LETTER: A TALE OP THE LATE CHINESE WAR. BY THE ATJTHOK OP " JEM BUNT. CHAPTER I. " Nature is fine in love ; and where 'tis fine, It sends some precious instance of itself After the thing it loves." Hamlet. It was a beautiful moonlight evening, and the atmosphere so clear and transparent, that minute objects could be plainly denned though at a considerable distance ; the air was cool and pleasant, bracing to the system, and requiring a smart pace to keep up a warm circulation. This was experienced by a fine bold handsome-looking young man its naval uniform, who, with a companion about the same age, was walk- ing the quarter-deck of the Mercury, a pretty little ship that had been purchased in India, by the government, to form one of the armed vessels in the expedition to China, and was now lying at anchor off the island of Chusan — she mounted sixteen twenty -four pounders, with a crew of seventy-six men, commanded by a lieutenant, who had under him foi officers, a mate, two middies, a surgeon, and a purser ; and the vessel was fitted up either to fight or to carry troops, and as a matter of course was styled " Her Majesty's Ship, Mercury." The persons on the quarter-deck were the mate, Mr. Wildgust, and one of the midshipmen (who had passed his examination at home), Mr. Discroll, between whom, though they were not messmates, the most perfect friendship and familiarity existed. " I cannot for the life of me conjecture, Harry, what can have come over the boatswain," said Wildgust. " Since we captured Tingha?, he seems to have got a blast from the evil eye ; he moves about like a log of wood, and has fallen away in his dimensions, so that his clothes hang about him like a purser's shirt on a handspike"— 4 THE OLD SAILOR 9 "Or a lobster a moulting," returned the other smartly; "there appears to be something pressing heavily upon his mind, the doctor declares he is not bodily ill, and we have both tried to get the secret out of him." " So have I," said the mate, " for I am sorry to see him so miser- able ; he is, or rather was, a valuable and smart seaman, but he's dragging his anchors to a certainty, and " he stopped short, for his servant made his appearance in front of him at that moment, and taking between his thumb and finger a straggling lock of hair that hung over his forehead, announced, "Mr. Pearson, Sir, is below, in your cabin, Sir, and wishes to speak to you, Sir, if you could make it convenient to—" " Very well," responded the mate, " I will be down directly. The boy disappeared. " What can he want, Hurry ? perhaps I shall get it out of him now ; keep your eye on the Admiral, my boy — no great difficulty on such an evening as this, and watch for the commander's coming ; he likes to be hailed a league off." The usual " Aye, aye " was given, and the mate descended to his cabin, leaving Driscoll in charge of the deck ; he found Pearson standing the very image of mute despair, except that he was trying to smooth down the rough curly hair that clustered round his brows. "I'm come, Mr, Wiidgust "— said the boatswain, still continuing the operation, "I am come"— and he pumped up a heavy sigh. " Well, I see that you are come," exclaimed the mate good-humour- edly ; " and now bring yourself to an anchor, my boy, aud we'll have a glass of grog together." The boatswain shook his head as he sat down on a camp stool, which Wiidgust drew towards the table. " It is not in regard of a drop of grog that I'm come, but I feel as if I had a marlin-spike sticking in my throat, and another in my heart, and I don't know what to make of it." "Take a stiff nor- wester and clear your throat," said the mate, putting the case bottle and the goblet towards him. "I've tried all them sort of things, Mr. Wiidgust," replied Pearson, still trying to level his rough hair, which only curled the more from the friction ; " but no marlin-spike ever floated in liquid, aud so the more grog I swallows, the deeper the thing seems to sink." " What devilry was you up to ashore, Pearson ; for I suspect that it was something that you fell foul of there which caused your showing signals of distress ? come out with it, Pipey, and make as clear a conscience as the sound of your call." " My conscience, never don't accuse me of any thing wrong, Mr. Wiidgust," answered the boatswain. " I did my duty in regard of them onfortinate wretches as calls us barbarians, by killing as many as I could of them who run away from their guns, the lubbers ; but it isn't got nothing to do with that, though the thought did strike me when I seed a shoal of heads rolling about, that it would be as well to pick up a few of 'em, for spare dead-eyes, in case any of ours should be carried away; still I don't think such a thing as that would JOLLY BOAT. 5 be logged down agin me : true enough I've never felt altogether right since, but I'm bless'd, Mr. Wildgust, if I can tell what's the matter with me, arter all. Them Tartar fellows paid out the slack of a good many curses upon us, but it can't be that, or else all hands would bo tarred with the same brush ; the doctor says there's nothing the matter with my corporal substance, and yet I waste away to a natomy." " It must be your mind that is troubled, Pearson," asserted the mate, *' did you have any adventure ashore ? — Come, drink your grog." " Why, for the matter o' that, Mr. Wildgust, we all on us had our adweutures, I'm thinking," answered the boatswain ; " but there sartinly was one thing I shall never forget, but it's hardly worth spinning a yarn about." " Let's have it by all means, old boy," requested the mate ; " it will serve for nuts to our grog. Here, lay hold of a cheroot — and they're getting scarce now— that's it ; heave ahead with your story." " Oh, it's a very short un," said the boatswain, with something like a groan ; " but-*-Howsomever, Mr, Wildgust, you know I was in the town when the troops entered, and them Tartar chaps took to running away with what they could lay their grappling-irons on ; nothing was too heavy or too hot for them except shot or bagonets, with here and there a taste of the cutlash ; and a good many hid themselves in private houses, and afterwards plundered the inhabitants who had sheltered them. So, as I was taking a bit of a cruise to myself, with my chief mate, Jack Moberly, as kept close upon my starboard quarter, now and then yawing a little out of his course to pick up any light stray article as nobody seemed to own, I heard a loud screaming in one of the habitations, and placing Jack as sentry at the door, I claps my pistol to the lock and blows it open, when, on entering, three or four Tartars ran at me with pikes, but I quieted 'em a little, and then handed 'em out to Jack. Still the screaming continued — it was up stairs, and consequently away I shinned aloft, cutlash in one hand and pistol in the other, and boards a room, when I beheld several more Tartar sodgers as had got hold of some young girls and were pulling 'em about in a very on-English sort of a fashion : so I fires my pistol at one of the fellows, who gave a few kicks, and then laid still enough. But it was no place to be idle, and therefore I sings out ' war hawse,' and rushed forward in the smoke, cutting away from starboard to port and from port to starboard, and the lubbers not being able to diskiver that I was alone, started off, some down stairs, others out at the windows, all except two who stood their ground, and grappled a pretty little soul, who, when the thick cleared away gave me such a beseech- ing look — oh!" and he sighed, ** if you'd seen that look, Mr. Wildgust! Well, it was enough to melt the heart of a grindstone, and dash I went at 'em — sarving out slops — and after a goodish tuzzle one struck and the other made sail below, where he was picked up by my mate. I've seen many beauties in my time, Mr. Wildgust — many beautiful women — but I never seed any one as interested me so much as that ero poor girl — when she kneeled down at my feet, and catching hold of 6 THE OLD SAILOR 3 this hard horny flipper" — he held out his left hand — "she pressed upon it more kisses than ever I got from my mother, or had during my whole life afore ; and so, Mr. Wildgust, I thought I was but in duty bound to give her some on 'em back again ; consequently I lifts Iier up, and though you may despise me for it, I couldn't help crying like a child along with the poor dear — and all the women came thank- ing me — and so I sarves it out all round, old and young, ugly and handsome. And then they took me into another room, and there lay a fine boy a- dying from a desperate wound in his breast, and an aged man dead with his skull split — and the wretched girl with her lingo and her voice broken with sobs, gives me to understand, as far as I could larn, that it was her father and her brother, slain by the Tartar sodgers, and a venerable female as was clinging round the neck of the corpse, was her mother ; and the mournful creature again takes my hand, and I felt her's all soft and delicate, and though she was rather brownish in regard to the colour of her complexion, yet I felt, Mr. Wildgust, as I never did afore, and the consarn has never been out of my head since, whether snoozing in my hammock at night or out on sarvice on broad day-light, and when I looks over the bows as the ship lifts to the swell and sees the water trickling down the bright copper, it puts me instantly in mind of the tears running down her handsome face." " I have it ! I have it ! Pipes, by all the trophies of war, I have it," exclaimed the mate, scarcely able to refrain from a burst of laughter. " I never sees a piece of sinnet," continued the boatswain seriously, and disregarding the assertion of the mate — " I never sees a piece of sinnet* as doesn't remind me of her long plaited hair." " Proof upon proof — oh, 'tis all as plain as a pike-staff," remarked the mate. " At night, Mr. Wildgust, ah !" he mournfully shook his head, "at night then I'm reg'larly in for it," added Pearson, solemnly; " for directly I falls asleep I feel such a sort of a kind of a ondescribableness come over me as the lady's face seems to approach close to mine, and we get to chin-chinning till our noses meet against one another, and then I dreams of them kisses — oh ! it's dreadfully onbearable, Mr. Wildgust." "Ill be your doctor, Pipes," exclaimed the mate, struggling to suppress his humour ; " I'll cure you, my boy — you're in love." " Now you don't think so, Mr. Wildgust," uttered the boatswain, starting up in alarm, and looking earnestly at the young officer. *' Never say as it's that, Sir ; for if it is, then Lord have mercy upon me, for I'm reg'larly done for ; " and he groaned aloud. " Have you ever seen her since, Pearson r" demanded the mate. " Never, Sir ; though I own I have been cruising in the neighbour- hood, and more than once tried to get into the house ; but the door is guarded so closely, and the Admiral's orders are so strong that none of them are to be mislested, that I don't care to use force, and yet I woudn't mind risking my life to set my eyes on her again." * Plaited rope yarna. JOLLY BOAT. 7 " In love— in love, Pipes, and there's no use in denying it," said the mate, to the discomforted Pearson, who resumed his seat ; " but as I have found out the disease, so I will prescribe the remedy. As you cannot clap her alongside, you must write her a letter." 44 Do what, Mr. Wildgust ? — write her a letter ? — why, she can't read English, and I know nothing of Chinese ; how then can I write her a chit?" " Oh, easy enough," responded the mate ; " Chinese is nothing more than hieroglyphics ; that is, a set of figures typical of certain things " — the boatswain shook his head. I* Why, Pipes, the old style of writing was a lion to represent courage, an elephant for strength, a serpent for wisdom, and so on — it's something of the same kind with the Chinese ; so what hinders j r ou to get Jem Phillips who painted the coat of arms on the fire- buckets and booms, to draw you out a set of figures on paper, all ship-shape, as will explain to her — " Up sprang the boatswain, snapping his fingers and cutting a caper. " A bright thought! — a bright thought! — hurrah! — and I'll do it, Mr. Wildgust ; I'll do it ; a bright thought ! a bright thought ! " and off he danced out of the cabin, leaving the mate almost convulsed with laughter. In less than ten minutes a trio were in close discussion in a small apartment down in the fore orlop ; these were the boatswain, his chief mate and privy counsellor, Jack Moberly, and Jem Phillips of the gunner's crew — grog was on the table, as well as a sheet of paper and pen and ink. 44 I'm regularly bamboozled how to begin, Jack," said Pearson, *' though I think I should get on after the first broadside." " Why in regard to beginning, Sir," replied Moberly, respectfully, to his superior, " I take it you should do as they do in all letters, put the latitude and longitude at top, along with the name of the craft ; so if Jem would just draw the head of the Queen — God bless her — and here's a fourpenny bit as Poll guv me hanging to my watch-chain to copy from, and then rig out a ship — a smart-un too, Jem, with ensign and pennant flying, so as they may know she's a man-of-war ; and then a little further on a figure of Marcury, why that ull be plain enough for anybody to read — ' Her Majesty's Ship Marcury'— but dout forget the pennant, Jem, and lay down an anchor underneath, to say as she's at anchor." Phillips went to work, and where the date is placed in a letter drew the required objects. " Good," said the boatswain. " And now, instead of 'Dear Lady,' or ' Dear Miss,' begin again with a pictur of myself making a bow to the beauty — " " And put the governor in full uniform, Jem," added the boatswain's mate, " with his call round his neck and a cock'd hat in his hand, that they may know as he's a quarter-deck officer — you may do what you like with the lady." This was also done, and a debate ensued on what should come next. 14 If I may have my say, Mr. Pearson," said Phillips, 44 I should put a Cupid, with his bow and arrow aiming at a heart."' THE OLD SAILOR S "That's too common, Jem," observed the boatswain's mate, trying to sketch out something in the grog that had been spilt upon the table. fc * Now if it was me, Sir, why I should put my heart floating in the sea, to signal to her that it's adrift upon the troubled waters, and then I'd have a Cupid in the bows of a whale-boat going to strike it with a harpoon, in regard of such a heart as yourn, being stout, and tough, and strong, so as no arrow could pierce it." " You're right again Jack," said Pearson ; " log all that down, Jem, and bear a hand about it, my hearty." Jem acquiesced ; and after some labour, aided by the corrections o£ old Jack, it was done to the boatswain's perfect satisfaction. "Now then," said the lover, "just put me there next, offering a ring and a bag of dollars for the girl's acceptance." " Ah ! that will do, Jem," assented Moberly ; " but clap his honour's heart in his right hand, holding it out with the harpoon through it, and make it a big heart, Jem, that they may know its a generous one ; and then as to the ring, it should be as large as the ring of the best bower, and a precious whacking bag of dollars, for nothing goes down so well with these here China people as money." This was also accomplished, and Phillips suggested that a figure of Hymen should follow, to manifest that marriage was intended. " All very proper," said the boatswain, " but clap a cock'd hat on his head, to say as nobody shall top the officer over me arter I'm married." " And ship the call in his mouth, Jem, piping all hands to harmony," requested old Jack, with the whole of which the gunner's mate com- plied, adding an altar with two hearts upon it, transfixed by the same harpoon. '• And now arter that comes the splicing," said the boatswain, " which I take it you can do without directions, Jem, seeing as you've been married yourself." " Only just veer and haul upon your fancy, messmate, in regard of his reverence's wig," added old Jack ; " never don't you go for to give him a little bit of a truck not bigger than a hartichoke, but an out-and- out cauliflower consarn, as large as the shell of a four-fold block, so that they may take him for a Bishop or some other digmuntary of the church — and don't scratch down the lady with a fan afore her eyes, but haul the fan on one side, and let her show her face as if she'd no need to be ashamed on it, and give the clargy a large prombongsis, that's a nose, Jem, as a sartin sign of his having a good living." Down went the design, Phillips embellishing it in bis own way. 4 And that, I take it, will be quite enough," said the boatswain, looking with great complacency on the drawing. " Why not exactly, Sir," remarked old Jack, with some degree of hesitation, "there's the sigmanture to come ; and I should put a true lovier's knot over my name, with ' Yourn till Death ; ' and as mayhap she'll not be able to make out the wiiting part, why I'd just log down a hint of it underneath, so as she mayn't be bothered in regard of not knowing English, Jem." ^oW,&jSfcW^ Jfrc/y^ri/ .^o^^/*w-iZ>4/ -AcJ a^&^a^cA-eJ. JOLLY BOAT. 9 This instruction was consequently carried into execution, the knot inscribed with its real character, the boatswain's name and the et ceteras were clearly displayed with the hint at the bottom — neither of the tars recollecting that, if the lady could not read the writing, the latter was a very useless appendage— -however, down it went. "And now, Jem, to make a wind-up and a finish on it," said the boatswain's-mate, after he had taken rather a persevering draught of half-and-half, " why clap a gallon measure here, on the larboard side, and write the name of the stuff upon it, and then put a hand over it, and put another gallon measure on the starboard side, and let 'em know there's some more in that, so as it may read ' grog and more grog.' " ". Well, there they are," declared Phillips, " and an unrolled ball of spun-yarn from one to the other, to keep up the relationship." " Capital !" exclaimed the boatswain, rubbing his hands together with greater pleasure than he had enjoyed for some time past; "if that don't let her into the secret, in spite of all the Tartars, aye, and cream of Tartars in the world, then I'm a Dutchman; but there's a space atwixt the two gallon measures, Jack—" " Which Jem may fill up," replied the boatswain's mate, by putting Muster Richard Pearson, and Missus Rong Ching Feu Pearson, a dancing together to the music of Davy Bradbury's fiddle ; and Davy knows how to play all sorts of hops -" " With you and Jem abaft there, giving us three cheers, whilst you drinks both our healths," added the boatswain, as during its progress he looked over this last effort of Philips' talents, which, as soon as it was accomplished, drew forth the hearty encomiums of all, Pearson declaring that " it was the most completest thing he had ever seen in his life," and perfectly satisfied of its being wholly irresistible. The letter was proudly displayed to Mr. Wildgust, who highly approved of it, as no doubt will the reader while he looks at the fac-simile of it. Jack Moberly was to be the messenger ; and early next morning he was clean rigged and allowed to go on shore on leave ; and as every one at that time went armed, Jack buckled round him his cutlass-belt, in which he tucked a brace of pistols. Arrived in front of the house he observed two tall stout Tartars, leaning against the door-posts, and eyeing him with looks of contempt. Jack walked up to them, and very civilly requested permission to pass in ; they demanded his business, and jostled him, — this the boatswain's mate bore patiently for a short time, but finding that forbearance would not do, he coolly knocked down one of the fellows with his fist, and presenting a pistol at the other, made good his entrance. In obedience to the orders he had received, Jack walked leisurely up stairs, and coming to the door of an apartment that was closed, he knocked loudly with an air of authority. There was instantly a jabbering and noise withinside, but no one answered the summons. Jack knocked again rather louder, and this time hailed " House-a-hoy." The confusion in the interior of the room increased ; when the seaman, well considering the danger of delay, threw open the portal, and beheld 2 10 THE OLD SAILORS half a dozen ladies in a terrible fright at his appearance, their alarm being excited, not only on account of Jack himself, but dread at the edicts issued by the mandarins against all who should counte- nance the " barbarian eye." The ladies had upset the tea table in their endeavours to retreat, and the terrible clatter of little tea cups ibout the size of thimbles, made the confusion greater. Two of the dear creatures were sprawling on the floor, an elderly fat woman was shrieking with affright, the rest chiming in occasionally, so as to give a general chorus. Jack lowered his truck, and putting his hand to his forelock, saluted the party ; but it was some time before order was restored. CHAPTER II. Jack Moberly stood like Prosper© in the " Tempest," weathering the breeze he himself had kicked up, and quietly contemplating the dis- play of small soles and heels which the Chinese call feet, but which in English estimation are sadly deficient in measure. Some of the females were really pretty, and one who stood behind the chair of the corpulent dame, had an extremely interesting counte- nance ; but honest Jack, judging by quantity instead of quality, made certain that the fat lady— so much like his own Poll at Deptford — must be the selected choice of his master, the boatswain. " Here's a precious bobbery," thought he, as he looked round him, " and me the bearer of a love-chop as 'ud melt the heart of a holy- stone." He turned round to the fat lady, who still kept screaming, and innocently waving his hand according to the most approved method adapted by the Mesmerites, for the purpose of soothing her fears — " Avast there, lovey," said he, aloud — " Now don't you go for to continny opening and shutting your bridle-port in that sort of an onnatral fashion. 'Scuse me, Ma'am, but if you'd jist clapper a stopper on your muzzle and delay that huliahbaloo, why, I could have a fairer scope for overhauling the matter of the letter to you with the governor's love and dooty, and hopes you're stout, as he is at this present— -thank God for it. Jack still kept waving his hand, and the noise of the lady gradually ceased. " Ha ! ha ! that's all ship-shape," remarked the boatswain's mate; " the pampoosa is going down by degrees, and sure there must be sumut in this owld flipper of mine, as acts as a sort of conductor from my good wishes to the beauty's bussum." The other ladies, seeing that no mischief was intended them, grew more tranquil, and Jack went on making his passes. " All square my hearties ; and did ye go for to think as owld Jack would ever hurt a hair of your heads — well, I'm bless'd if the darling isn't dropping of asleep." This was actually the case J-OLLY BOAT. 11 Tfvith the corpulent dame ; but whether from the effects of Jack's mesmerising powers, or caused by the use of opium, or having its origin in fear, the narrator is utterly incapable of deciding — at all events, her head fell forward, and she resigned herself to som- nolency. "Ayah, Mister Sailor — what for talkee, talkee," said the prettiest of the girls. " Ayah— no good that." " Now that's what I calls a lucky wind-fall," exclaimed the boat- swain's mate, with no inconsiderable glee, " who would ever have thought to hear his own wulgar tongue from the lips of a Chinese ? But in regard to this here lady, my precious "—pointing to the lusty woman — " well, I'm bless'd if she aint moored hard and fast in the arms of Morphus, and" — pulling out a letter — " who will I get to read it, seeing she is'nt not by no manner of means oncapable o' doing it for herself? " " Ayah, Mister Sailor," uttered the same sweet voice that had spoken before, as she looked at the letter, sewed up as it was in a pink silk covering — "ayah, what callee that?" " Callee that?" reiterated old Jack, as he hitched up the waistband of his trousers, " why, that's a grand chop from my governor, Muster Richard Pearson, boasun of her Majesty's Royal Ship, the Flying Mer- cury, for this here lady here " — pointing to the sleepy mountain of flesh — " whose name 1 don't ezactly know, seeing as how I never had it logged down in my memory." " Ayah, no can saavez Mister Sailor — no can see," said the female, " and no can see how can do ?" " Oh, if that's all, lovely," uttered Jack, in an off-hand business-like way, " I'll show you the content of the inside." He put his fist into the pocket of his trowsers, and pulled out a large clasp knife, usually carried by seamen ; but no sooner had he opened the bright blade, than the young female threw her arms round the ample neck of the corpulent lady, and ciied out most lustily. "Well, I'm blow'd if I can make anything at all of this here!" ex- claimed the boatswain's mate in surprise, as he gazed earnestly at the women ; " here am I going to rip open the stitches, and she pipes up * Bob's a dying.' " The young girl looked with terror at the knife, which Jack immediately observed, and promptly guessing the cause of affright, he at once ripped off the silk, and having closed the appa- rently formidable weapon, it was promptly restored to its capacious receptacle. The female observed the action, and became once more calm and tranquil. " And now, my darling," continued the seaman, holding out the epistle, " here's the chop." The girl took the letter, eyed it with more attention than the Chinese generally bestow upon sublunary affairs, and then stood irresolute how to proceed. Jack tried to convey the purpose of his despatches by laying his hand on his heart, and making love in dumb show ; which excited the curiosity of the other ladies, who, grown more bold, now crowded round the first, and all seemed anxious to learn tho nature of the letter — who it was designed for, and other particulars — before the 12 THE OLD SAILOK'S stout woman should awake ; and for several minutes, there was as pretty a piece of pantomime going on as could be well conceived and acted', as the seal was broken, the hieroglyphics exposed, and Jack, big with importance, entered upon explanation. It was impossible for the dullest mind, after examining the various designs, not to understand the meaning ; and though the Chinese are not very quick in jumping to conclusions, yet, here everything was so palpable, that woman's ingenuity was not long- — especially with Jack's assistance — in comprehending the whole ; and this new mode of courtship, so contrary to the practice of their own country, appeared to amuse them very much ; but their mirth was somewhat abated when they were apprised that all this vigorous representation of devoted regard was intended for the fat lady, whose repose was so sound that she might have been mistaken for the seven sleepers rolled into one. Each thought herself the preferable choice ; but the youngest, who had superior intellect to the rest, and knew a few words of the English tongue, had gathered from the messenger's recital that the incom- parable effusion had been sent by her friend and deliverer, of whom she had cherished the most lively remembrance, not only from motives of gratitude, but also derived from a source always allied to gratitude — sincere esteem ; and she longed to enjoy another interview with the good-looking "and generous barbarian eye "—nay, more, from her latticed window she had secretly beheld him cruizing about in the neighbourhood, and evidently trying to get sight of somebody, which personal vanity whispered could be no other than herself. She could not speak to him — she did not dare to make a sign for fear that her motions might be seen by other eyes than his — she possessed no means of communication, but still hope clung to her thoughts, and, in the midst of disappointment, she had nourished a fervent con- viction that they should meet again. Now, how cruelly were all her ardent expectations blighted ! It is true he still retained the character of her deliverer from the atrocious intentions of the brutal Tartars ; it is true her affections had strengthened under opposing influences — yet, now the truth was forced upon her heart, that the demonstrations she had witnessed were not designed for her; the eager watchings of Pearson were offerings at the shrine of another, and that other a woman old enough to be her grandmother, as Jack had declared that the despatches he had brought were addressed to the corpulent lady — oh ! it was a moment of intense agony to her, and retiring from the room, her woman's feelings overpowered her, and she wept bitterly. As for Jack, having, as he said, " got all hands into good sailing trim, and brought them into smooth water," he endeavoured to arouse the object of his master's affections, but without effect ; once or twice she opened her eyes, looked vacantly around her, mumbled a few unintelligible expressions, and then relapsed into her dormant state. In one instant, however, she certainly manifested a strong development of pugnacity ; for as honest Jack was rubbing her head with one ot his hard horny hands, and shaking her by the shoulder JOLLY BOAT. 13 with the other, he suddenly received a slap on the face, deliveied with all the precision of a scientific bruiser ; but the offending member was instantly quiescent again, and the probability is, supposing the lady to have been under the influence of mesmerism, that Jack, in frietion- ising her caput, had pressed rather heavily upon the bump of com- bativeness, and thereby caused the phreno-magnetic operation that yet tingled on his cheek. This, however, must rest as a mere matter of conjecture ; and I must leave the affair in the hands of the learned professors skilled in this wonderful art, merely observing, en passant, that it would indeed be a curious thing if it could be proved, that the phrenological application was first practised at Chusan by a veteran boatswain's mate. All efforts to awaken the lady to a sense of consciousness having failed, Jack left his despatches in charge of the younger branch of the family, who highly enjoyed the sport, and by gestures invited the writer of the epistle to visit them — at least, it was thus that the worthy seaman translated their manoeuvres ; and after swallowing two or three glasses of ardent spirits, he took his leave, and returned on board, where Wildgust and others awaited the confidential com- munication which it was expected would have to be made. Pearson was in the mate's cabin, half wild with anxiety and impatience as Moberly entered ; but he strove to manifest the utmost calmness of demeanour, as if it was entirely a matter of indifference to him, though the grimaces which he unconsciously made, but too evidently betrayed the actual state of his mind. " What cheer ! what wheer, Jack ? " demanded the boatswain, screwing up his visage, and trying to grin, till his teeth looked like the bars of a helmet — " delivered it, eh! Jack? — delivered it safe? And how is she — all square by the lifts and braces, my hearty?" Jack smiled, but said nothing. " What did she say to it — brought an answer, eh ? " Moberly was still silent. " Why don't you speak — • confound your porpus-face, you son of a swab, to stand there screwing your mouth up like an old maid in a trawl-net — out with it, and be bio wed to you ; how is she, eh — how is she ? " " As soon as you've belayed axing questions, sir," responded Moberly, quietly, " I'll just overhaul the consarn to you from clew to earring. You wants to know which way the darling heads in regard of not being in the sick-list. All I can say is, that she never told me not nothing about it ; but she guv me a striking proof as she warn't without strength, by the slap in the face which I got." " What, what ? " demanded the excited boatswain — " slap of the face, eh? — no doubt you desarved it. Why, what the blazes have you been up to? — some precious sky-larking, no doubt." "Don't be so hasty, Pearson," said Wildgust, endeavouring to appease him ; " come, bring yourself to an anchor. And here Jack, take a glass of grog to clear the cobwebs out of your throat, and then spin us the whole yarn from one end to the other." " Aye, aye, Sir," answered the boatswain's mate, taking the grog, which he made but one gulp at ; and then smacking his lips and 14 THE OLD SAILOR'S wiping his mouth, he commenced a narrative of his proceedings on shore, to the astonishment of the boatswain, and the great amazement of the mate ; but when he came to speak of the charmer being fat and forty, Pearson could stand it no longer-— " It's false ! it's false ! " exclaimed he, with vehemence ; " and Jack, you're an old fool as don't know a handspike from the heel of the bowsprit — fat, you lubber '.—what do you call fat ? Is a boat-hook fat ? Is a belaying pin fat ? Is a sail-needle fat ? Is the staff of the dogvane fat? Is the end of a marlin-spike fat ? Is the spindle at the mast head fat ? Am I fat ? Is Mr. Wildgust fat ? Is any body fat ? Confound the fellow, to talk of her being fat ; it's a base invention, Sir," turning to the mate, " the beauty I'm speaking of has a waist no bigger round than a baby's thigh ; and it tapers away like a lady's — aye, jist like a lady's finger ; to go to talk of her being fat and frowsey, old and drowsy — oh, it's all a bag of moonshine Mr. Wildgust ; and as they've axed me to go and see 'em — bless their hearts — why, with your permission, Sir, I'll rig myself, and away ashore in the twinkling of a broomstick — the lubber to talk about fat as if I was bound on a whaling voyage in search of nothing but blubber ; Jack, you're an old fool ! " Wildgust questioned the boatswain's mate, and very soon ascertained that he had fallen into error ; but to what extent, it was impossible to tell. It was probable, however, that Pearson's presence would put all to rights, and he gave the required leave of absence ; but terrible was the boatswain's disappointment when his mate informed him that his visit was not expected till the dusk of the evening, in order that they might escape the observations of the official authorities ; whilst a suspicion crossed the mind of Wildgust, that some foul practice or other was intended, and therefore insisted that Jack Moberly should accompany Pearson, and be cruising on the look-out whilst the boatswain was in the house. Affairs being thus arranged, just before sunset Pearson and Moberly, after receiving many cautionary admonitions from the master's-mate, entered the boat that was waiting alongside to convey them to the shore ; and as no great secret was made of the matter, the seamen assembled on the forecastle, and loudly expressed their good wishes for the boatswain's success. Pearson had arrayed himself in his best long togs ; and to be in keeping with his representation in the picture, Wildgust had lent him his hat and sword, so that he really displayed a very respectable figure as an officer ; he had also a brace of silver mounted pistols buckled in a belt round his loins. Jack was much the same as he was in the morning, except that he carried an additional cutlass under his arm, " not caring," as he said, " to trust the precious life of his master to a bit of iron as was only fit for a toasting fork." When they landed from the boat, the crew gave them a cheer, and away they went towards the town — Pearson elate and full of con- fidence, Jack fearful that he had committed some error, and keeping a watchful eye on all sides, to prevent anything like being taken by JOLLY BOAT. 15 surprise. At length they reached the dwelling, and Moberly, having secured himself a snug position by way of concealment, suffered the boatswain to proceed alone ; which he did without interruption, though he was well aware that two or three Tartars were fully cognizant of his approach. The ladies were waiting for him ; the corpulent one had recovered from somnolency, and, with the letter in her hand, was preparing to receive his devoirs, and very naturally expected to be caressed. Pearson did not at first observe the demeanour of the lusty dame — his eye was wandering in search of her who had made so deep an impression on his heart ; but she was not to be seen, and on turning an enquiring look towards the stout woman, he perceived that she was ogling him in the most enticing manner; and then, for the first time, he beheld his love-letter pressed upon a bosom as huge as high Olympus. " Confound that old fool ! " said he, with emphasis ; " I see it all now — fat and forty, indeed ; to go for to think that she — " his nose curled with contempt ; but he stopped short in his speech and ad- vanced to obtain possession of the letter, when the lady, fancying that his eagerness was complimentary to herself, suddenly opened her arms, and grasping him in her embrace like a bear hugging a monkey, poor Pearson was almost smothered. After some struggling, he contrived to get free, and a little tea being put into a small cup, hot water was poured upon it, and this, without milk or sugar, was given him to drink. The unhappy boatswain, afraid of being thought disrespectful, tried to swallow it, but made many wry faces before he could get the whole down ; he then, by counting six upon his fingers, numbering the five ladies, and holding up one finger alone, contrived to inquire after the absent damsel. Great was his chagrin when he understood, by their motions, that she was indisposed ; still he requested to see her, and, after much solicitation, two of the ladies went to fetch her. Whilst they were gone, Pearson's heart beat — no, it was not beating, but regularly thumping against his breast, like a miner at work with his pick ; and when the object of his regard entered the room, the throbbings of his pulse might almost have been heard. Making a powerful effort to rally, he extended his hand, took hers, pressed it in his own, and then omnipotent nature asserting her irresistible influence, he caught the astonished but delighted girl in his arms, and pressed her to his heart, swearing — yes, he actually swore — that he loved no other being in creation as he loved her ; and the grand chop, though given by mistake to the fat lady, was in fact intended solely for her hands. Of course, much of this was not understood, but the general purport was ; and a hubbub immediately arose amongst the party assembled, who now strove to force the last comer away, whilst the lusty lady assumed many ludicrous airs, and affected to believe herself a grossly injured woman ; indeed, Pearson could make out that she con- sidered herself betrothed, and was, de facto, his wife. Here was a pretty mess old Jack had got him into ! But still he was resolved not to part with the young female, nor suffer her to be ill- treated ; he, therefore, drew her closely towards him for protection 16 THE OLD SAILOR'S and she, nothing loth, evinced much gratification at the attentions which he had paid her ; and, eventually, a few presents which he had brought with him being judiciously bestowed, produced a seeming restoration of harmony ; and after two hours of sweet enjoyment to the enamoured boatswain, he took his departure, promising to renew his visit on the ensuing evening. Jack Moberley, ensconced in the cavity he had selected as his post of concealment, had repeatedly applied his mouth to that of a bottle he had carefully stowed away in his trowsers' pocket ; and the potency of the liquor, as well as the extreme quiet that prevailed, operating upon his senses, very soon rendered him as drowsy as the fat lady in the morning ; and, like her, he sank into a profound slumber, during which, he dreamed of flying dragons and all sorts of mischief; when suddenly being awoke by a noise, he saw one of the former within a short dis- tance of his face, and his first impulse was to make a blow at it : but becoming instantly aware that it was nothing more than a painting upon a Chinese lantern, he remained still, and was enabled to see three Tartars, each with his lantern, outside the cavity, who having de- posited something in a sack near his retreat, went off together. " Now what the deuce are those fellows up to ! " thought Moberly ; " a sack full of plunder, no doubt, and, mayhap, some good pickings. Howsomever, here goes for a overhaul " — he projected himself forward, but instantly drew back again, exclaiming, as he grasped a pistol, " Avast there, you lubbers ! — none o' your tricks upon an owld seaman — I'm bless'd if the sack arnt alive ! " And, sure enough, it was in motion ; whilst a strange noise, of a human being in pain, issued from it. '•Ho! ho! "said Jack again advancing; "that's the cock you're arter fighting, is it? Kidnapping, eh? — here goes, though; now for a black dog or a blue monkey.; " he pulled out his knife, cut open the mouth of the sack, and, after some pulling, out came Mr. Richard Pearson, boatswain of Her Majesty's Ship, the Mercury ; who, pointing to his mouth, showed to the bewildered Moberley that his " governor" was gagged. Not an instant was lost in giving free use to his tongue. " Bear a hand, Jack ! " said he ; " them fellows will be alongside again directly ; stand by, to man-handle'em, my hearty ; and I'm bless'd if we don't show them how to pipe the bags up, and no mis- take — the body-snatching willans. Don't fire ; but give me here one of the cutlashes. Knock 'em down ; there's only three of 'm — look out ; here they are a coming ! " Pearson and his mate drew themselves to one side, beneath a pro- jection that entirely shaded them from being seen ; and when the Tartars came up, two of them were instantly felled to the earth ; the third tried to escape, but Jack went in chase, and having caught the flying enemy, he brought him back to where the others were yet lying prostrate on the ground, and a consultation was held as to what they should do with them. By the light of the lanterns, they observed a bundle of coarse canvass which the fellows had brought, and which, on closer inspection, turned out to be sacks; three of them were It . JOLLY BOAT. 17 immediately put in requisition ; and the boatswain and his mate were not long in crammipg a Tartar into each, and then tying the sack's mouth round the neck of the kidnapper with his own long tail. At this moment, a Chinese came up, and the matter being explained to him, he expressed great satisfaction. " Ayah ! mister officer ; changee for changee, very good that ! " " Why, aye ! friend fokhee," replied the boatswain's mate, " the pick-arooning wagabones have made a bit of changee for changee as you say ; they wanted to ' bag the govenor,' but, you see, they've got the sack themselves. Puckalow, and lay howld of one of the lanterns, so as to strike a light upon the consarn, there's a good sowl,' and then thank your Joss as they ar'nt got you in a sack instead." The Chinaman did as he was desired, and with no small degree of satisfaction ; for there is a bitter animosity existing between the Chinese and the Tartars, the former are always glad to see the others well thrashed, especially for their kidnapping propensities. The lantern was suspended at the end of a pole, and Pearson, raising one load upon his back, and Jack taking another, they moved on to a certain distance towards the shore ; when setting down the sacks, Jack returned to fetch the third, leaving his master to stand sentry over the other two, and thus they continued till they had neared the landing place. Mr. Wild gust had become uneasy at the protracted absence of Pearson and Moberly ; he therefore manned the boat and went ashore, and on advancing a short distance, he beheld the three ugly Tartars, each in his sack, placed uprightly, but slightly leaning agaii.st a deserted dwelling. The Chinaman was holding the lantern above their heads, whilst Pearson and his mate were resting a few minutes from their labour. Although somewhat astonished at the spectacle, he could not refrain from laughing heartily ; and when the affair was explained, the boat's crew were summoned, who soon stowed them away in the cutter, and they were carried with much fun and mirth alongside the ship. The jolly tars were delighted with the task of slinging and hoisting them aboard, and each was placed in his sack between the quarter deck guns. CHAPTER III. Afteb the sentries abaft and at the gangway had taken the Tartars under their precious charge, a party assembled in the mate's cabin, over grog and cheroots, to hear a narrative of the boatswain's love adventure ; which has already been related to the period of his taking a parting salute of his mistress, whose little heart swelled with luxu- riant feelings at being beloved by the handsome officer. 3 18 THE OLD 3AILOE 3 " In course," said Pearson, " I didn't tell her I was only a boat- swain, but pitched it hot and strong as I was a admiral ; and I gave them a delicate wind with my pipe, to show the way in which I called my men around me ; for, thinks I, she'll have nothing whatever to say to me, if I don't come a bit of the mandarin — so I sported it in first chop style, to keep them from axing questions." " But how could you converse together, Pearson ?" asked the master's mate ; " neither one of you could understand the other's language." " Why, I though you'd have know"d all about that 'ere, Mr. Wild- gust," answered the boatswain, with a jaunty toss of the head. " Love-making arn't by no manner o' means carried on by paying out the slack of mere tongue palaver ; its duty's best done by motions somethiDg like them there what you called hire-oh-somut or other." " Hire-oh Uchopsticks, Sir," chimed in old Jack, who, seated in one corner of the cabin, was enjoying a stiff nor'-wester. "Right, Jack, that's the word; I knew there was something about 'icks' in it," said the boatswain, and then resuming his tale ; "just like them there hire-oh-chopsticks as we logged down in the darling's letter ; and she understood me well enough, bless her innocent heart." "Keep a sharp look-out, Pearson," advised the mate, "and don't be too sure of her innocence ; the women can play a double game when it pleases them to do so, and the young ones are as deluding as the old ones." " I can hardly think so, your honour," dissented old Jack, with an impressive nod ; " though, for my part, I have met with a little on it myself, during my cruise through life : I don't mean in regard of my present Missus Moberly, but them as I clapt alongside of afore I know'd her." u Why, how many wives have you had, Jack ?" asked Mr. Wildgust. " How many wives, sir ? — let me see. I can't disactly say ; but I think a matter of seven, or somewhere thereabouts," answered the boat- swain's mate. " The fact is, sir, I never liked to keep tally of them consarns, especially in regard of my never having larned to work a dead reckoning. But I remembers once, Sir, being ashore on leave ; I was a giddy monkey of a main-top -man then, full of frolic and mis- chief, and I belonged to the Royal Oak, seventy-four, as had Lord Amelia Beauclerk's flag flying ; so, as 1 said afore, I was ashore on leave, and in course, as we'd been paid prize-money, and there warn't no purser to sarve out the grog, why I had just as much as I wanted. Here's towards all your healths, genelmen," and Jack took a draught of his beverage. " Not but what I was quite sober, sir, addressing the mate, " ownly I was what you may call happy; and as I was always wartuously inclined, I kept a good look-out ahead, to see if I could get sight of some decent young women to overhaul my mind to, and ax her to be spliced. Well, whilst I was backing and filling, just dropping up with the tide, I spies as pretty a figure-head as I had seen for many a day, ownly she'd the least bit in the world of a squint in one of her eyes; and I'm bless'd if I don't think it was that 'ere eye as did the job for me, all the same as Miss Ring Ching Fou has done it for Muster JOLLY BOAT. 19 Pearson. She wore a suit of black gear, with plenty of crape about it, and a black wale,, brailed up over her bonnet ; and 'my precious rags and buttons,' thinks I, ' but she is a beauty, anyhow,' though I didn't much like the colour of her canvass. Howsomever, I claps her along- side, as bowld as brass, and * What cheer, what cheer, lovey ?' says I ; but she jumped away, just like a shot when it strikes the comb of the s&& ; and her eye — that's her piercer, Sir — gave me a look that went right slap through my heart, for all the world like that 'ere harpoon in the letter through Muster Pearson's, and I should have wished to have had that logged down instead of the Cupid in the boat, ownly it was a matter of onpossibility to draw a eye going through a heart." " Come, bear a hand with your yarn, Jack." exclaimed the boat- swain, somewhat peevishly ; " you'll spin it out as long as you can remember." " I'll cut it at once, if so be as the genelmen wishes it," said Jack ; but a general desire being expressed for him to go on, he continued. " Well, then, she bounces away, and in good consequence, seeing as I wanted her company, I springs my luff arter her ; she made sail, and I went in chase ; and so getting the heels of her, I creeps up upon her starboard beam, and we carried on for some time with our yard-arms touching, and I plied her with a royal salute of flattery, as made her reduce her canvass ; and we were soon like owld acquaintances, for she hooked on the crook of my elbow and away we went, happy-go-lucky, talking together as pleasant as turtle doves. I warn't long in fishing out of her who and what she was. She told me she was a young widow, as had lost her husband." " Why how could she be a widow without she had lost her husband ? " inquired the boatswain. " That's a matter, sir, as I never gave a thought about," answered Jack ; " and, therefore, with my knowledge of things in general, it is not in my power to say. All as I'm certain on is, that she said, she was a widow without never a husband ; and she heaved such a moloncholy sigh, and the tears trickled so fast down her face when she mentioned it, that, thinks I to myself, ' a woman who can feel so strong a regard for him as is dead and gone, would be likely to behave herself properly and lovingly to any one as would fill up the vacancy, and treat her kindly, as I would ; and so, says I, ' my precious,' says I, * you're the neatest craft as I've seen for a month of Sundays ; and though you've been married afore,' says I, ' yet I don't care for that, as mayhap you've learned all the better how to work ship and do your duty alow and aloft,' says I ; ' and if you've ownly got a babby just to play with and cheer you when I'm at sea, why then, my darling, you can't do nothing more wiser than to take Jack Moberly for betterer or worserer.' And she blushed as red as the tomkin of a twenty-four pounder ; and then she sobbed and shook her head mournfully, but I knowed as she was pleased, because she clung tighter to me, and didn't say ' No.' So I grappled her again, and poured in a broadside of all the fine love-making words as ever came into my head, now and then discharging a volley of small shot in the way of vows and promises, till 20 THE OLD SAILOR'S at last she said, ' She would consider of it.' * And about the pick- aninny,' says I, giving her hand a gentle persuader ; ' is there one or not ? ' And then she blushed again, and cried ; I never saw so much emulsion in any soul afore. ' Yes,' says she, as she covered her face with her white handkerchief, ' yes ; though my dear William is departed to heaven, he left behind a lovely pledge of our affection,' says she ; ' and, oh ! if I thought you would be a kind father to it '— ' I will, I will,' says I ; ' the best and most dutiful of fathers 1*11 be — only try me this once, lovey ; and there's all my pay and my prize- money for you and the boy — but avast,' said I, ' is it a boy ? ' 'It is,' says she, ' a fine boy, the very moral of my poor William, whom I shall never see again.' ' So much the better,' says I ; ' that's about the boy I means, my precious ; and so, without any more palaver, let's get the parson to read us a page or two out of his book, and when you're Mrs. Moberly, Til rig you out as fine as a fiddle.' ' You forget,' says she, ' that I'm in my weeds.' ' In your what ? ' axes I. ' In my weeds,' says she again, and holds up her duds. * Ho, ho ! ' says I, * that's what you mean, lovey, is it ; well, never mind ; as soon as we're .spliced, we'll change 'em for sea weeds. But I should like to see the babby.' 'You cannot see him just now,' says she; 'but wait till the evening, and then 111 bring him to you, if you will give me your word not to get groggy.' ' Honour bright,' says I, laying my flipper on my heart, ' I'll keep soberer nor fifty men right out ; but why won't you let me go home with you ?' Howsomever, she wouldn't allow of my doing that last ; and so I agreed to see her in the evening, at the place where we parted ; for she would go, though I wanted her to cruise with me all day, but she said the child would cry for her ; and that was enough, for I didn't much stomach the thought of the innocent babby suffering, especially as she promised to bring it with her." " So you see, Sir," continued Jack, "having left the damsel, I hawls my wind for owld Tom Spraggses. Tom had been a messmate when I was was a boy, and now he kept the Salmon and Boathook, a house where all true-hearted tars were sure of being well sarved for money, and a bit of adwice for nothing. So I goes to Tom, and tells him of the consarn. * Have a care, Jack,' says he, ' have a care, my son ; pirates carry black colours, you know ; and for the sake of the blue jackets, you ought to make out what she is, before you put her into commission to cruise under your own name.' ' All very good, Tom,' says I, ' and all very proper in regard of my knowing as you means well ; but if you was only to see her — why I'm blessed, Tom, but there she is,' says I, as 1 seed her go past the window, and Tom tops his boom, and slips his cable in chace, to reconnighter her build and rig, while I sits down to quiet the owld woman, who did'nt much stomach Tom's running after the gals. Well, after a while, back again he comes, and Mrs. Spraggs opens her lower deck ports at him ; but Tom says nothing, but gives me a wink, and so we walks into the parlour together. ' Owld un, breezy ?' says he, asking a question which he hisself knowed well how to answer. ' A bit so,' says I ; ' but you don't mind that ; what have you made her out to be ? ' Tom shook his head. ' Mind your eye, JOLLY BOAT. 21 Jack,' says he, ' I've seen her afore, and knows a little of her history, but shan't never say nothing about it now ; ownly, as I said afore, mind your eye ; and be sure and have a good overhaul of the consarn of the babby,' says he. 44 Well, genelmen, this put me to a fathom or two of nonplush ; out I couldn't believe, arter all. that one who looked so innocent, and piped her eye so nat' rally, could be a bad-un ; and the more in regard of her grief for her poor William, as had lost the number of his mess. Howsomever, I goes in the evening, detarmined to follow Tom's instruc- tions ; but when I seed her, I'm blest if I didn't forget every thing but her own beautiful figure-head, though I thought the cocked-hat in her eye seemed to slue round precious fast, and when she answered my hail, she was rather thick and husky in the throat ; and so, as it was getting duskish, and their warn't many people on the look out, I grapples howld of a kiss, and I'm blowed if her breath didn't tell me as she'd been taking a twist out of the neck of a bottle of rum ; and then I thinks of Tom's adwice, ' Mind your eye, Jack,' and about overhauling the consarn of the babby as she had nuzzled up onder- neath her shawl ; but she wouldn't never let me go for to touch it, as she swore it was fast asleep, and if she onkivered it, the damp air would give it cowld ; and, thinks I to myself, ' that's kind and mother-like on her, too — mayhap Tom's mistaken, arter all. Well,' says I, * lovey, you see as I've keep my word in regard of not getting groggy.' ' No, no,' says she, ' you've not kept your word — your are ontirely distosicated at this very moment.' " Now, genelmen, I positively purtest as I was as sober as I am at this instant; but coming from such lips as them, it jimmycum- bothered me, and as either she or me got to staggering, I began to be certain it must be me ; for, as for she getting top-hampered, I couldn't have believed it no how. So I made up my mind, as I'd been drinking, without knowing on it ; and I axed her pardon, and got talking all sorts of treacly things to her ; and she began to grow sweet upon me, when owld Tom's 'Mind your eye, Jack,' crossed my thoughts, and as she rayther tript and lurched to looard, I'm a Dutchman if I didn't diskiver as it was she as was shaking a cloth in the wind instead of me ; and, ' Yo hoy, my precious !' says I, ' its a sad heart as never rejoices,' says I, ' but you've been bowsing rather too taut a leech upon your jib, which arn't altogether ship-shape in a widow as is, and a wife as she's going to be.' ' I scorns your puterations,' says she ; ' my jib, indeed, and me in mourning for my poor departed William :' and she began to cry again, and I found the spray coming into my own scuppers till I recollected owld Tom's * Mind your eye, Jack.' ' There, don't go for to take on so, my dear,' says I, ' you know as I never meant any harm ;' but I'm blessed, afore I'd got the words hardly out of my mouth, away she takes a roll to starboard as nearly laid her on her beam ends, and says my thoughts to me, ' It's all plain enough now — she's a going it.' Well, seeing how matters stood, genelmen, I was affear'd as she'd capsize a-top of the babby, and scrunch it; and so, says I, ' Steady — steady, 22 THE OLD SAILOR'S lovey, — tliis will never do, and I must sheer of.' 'Oh, you must, must you,' says she, 'but you won't though — you promised to marry me, you did ; and I've brought the child as you wished me — I've done all as you axed me to do.' ' And a precious sight more nor ever I axed you,' says I ; ' but once for all, I'll never go for to have a wife who arn't able to keep watch over herself — not but what I feels for the infant, poor thing — but I'm off, lovey, I'm off, and I gives her a wide birth ; ' take care of the babby,' says I. — ' Confound you and the babby too,' says she ; * and if you think I carn't be a mother to it, take it yourself, and be hanged to you!' and I am blessed if she didn't whip the babby from under her shawl, and fling it right slap at me." " Avast there, Jack, avast," exclaimed the boatswain; " she never couldn't be such a monster." " It's as true Mr. Pearson, as that Mr. Wildgust wants to be a leftenant," responded Moberly, firmly ; " she flung it right at me, and it hit me over the nose, and nearly knocked me backwards. ' Halloo,' says I, ' this is pretty usage any how, and I'm blowed if you haven't killed the child !' For d'ye see, genelmen, it dropped down like a dipsy lead at my feet, and there it laid quite still, and never moved a peg. ' You onnat'ral wretch,' says I, ' its dead enough, any how ;' and so I stoops down to pick it up. ' Poor babby,' says I, as I grappled howld of it to raise it up in my arms ; ' poor innocent — this is a foul murder, this is — but halloo, why, what the blazes is all this ?' says I. " And what do you think is was, genelmen? — I'm blowed if the babby warn't a wooden one." A roar of laughter followed Jack's announcement ; and it was ren- dered more hearty by the previous feelings of horror which had been excited, by the supposed murder of an infant by an infuriated and drunken woman. " A what was it ?" demanded the boatswain, who had preserved his gravity better than the rest. " A wooden babby," responded Moberty ; " yes, I'm blessed, Mr. Pearson, if it warn't a wooden babby. So I tucks it under my arm, and away I shines off to owld Tom Spraggses, and tells him all about it. ' I thought as much,' says Tom ; she's no widow at all, but rigs herself out in that fashion to catch such gulls as you Jack ; and she would have hooked you like a mackarel, if so be as I hadn't towld you to mind your eye.' So you see, genelmen, there arn't much good in calculating the jography of woman by looking at a handsome figure-head." As soon as the laugh caused by this narrative had subsided, " A precious tough yarn you've been spinning, Master Jack," said the boatswain, " and its very near driv all about my own affair out of my head." " Hitch back, Pearson," exclaimed Wildgust ; you were making love, hire-oh I-chopstick fashion;" and the mate laughed. "I want to know how you came in the bag." " Oh, that's soon told, Sir," answered the boatswain ; " for arter I'd l^ft the darling, my head was as chock full of her, as a West Ingeeman's lore hold of molasses ; there warn't room for nothing else, and I rather JOLLY BOAT. 23 think I must have stood upon a wrong tack when I quitted the house ; however, let that be as it may> I was suddenly tripped up before I could tell where I was ; a cloth was clapped into iny mouth that jammed my breath ; my arms were pinioned ; I was gagged and shoved into the sack, holus bolus, from which awk'ard perdicklement Jack delivered me." At this moment there was a bustling of feet upon the deck above, and a boy came down to inform Mr. Wildgust that the Commander was coming alongside. The cabin was cleared in an instant ; Pearson took his station at the gangway ; his shrill pipe sounded cheerily on the night breeze ; the side boys with their lanterns were in attendance, and the boat having swept up to her proper position, Lieutenant Bullfit, the Commander of her Majesty's Ship Mercury, ascended, and was saluted by his subordinates. He was a short, stout burly man, the very essence of good humour ; but rather consequential in his manner, offering at times a strange contrast to his usually excellent flow of animal spirits ; a worthy officer, an excellent seaman, and a kind hearted man. Bullfit possessed most of the qualifications which a man-of-war's men love, for he was by no means deficient in preserving discipline. " I'm glad to see every one generally attentive, Mr. Wildgust," said the lieutenant, stiffly walking aft on the quarter-deck ;" it shows, Sir, — it shows — " "The benefit of example, Sir," responded the mate, taking up the clue ; " allow me, Sir, to introduce to your notice three respectable gentlemen whom I have captured ;" and he waved his hand towards the Tartars who stood grinning between the guns. " Ha ! ha ! — I see, I see, Wildgust," said the lieutenant, at once coming down from the high stilts ; " prisoners, eh r — and it seems you have taken them bag and baggage." Both officers laughed. " Make your report, Sir — make your report." This Wildgust did, relating every circumstance to prove that the fellows were kidnapping ; and Pearson and Jack Moberly corroborated the facts. Bullfit ordered the Tartars to be taken below, and well looked after, and he would do summary execution on them the next morning. The night passed away — and about the middle of the next forenoon, the hands were turned up to witness punish- ment. Every one guessed the object, as speculations were rife as to the real intentions of Lieutenant Bullfit. These, however, were in a great measure ended, when the crew found that a large block, covered with red baize, was placed upon the forecastle ; and by the side of it, with his shirt sleeves tucked up to his shoulders, and his bright, heavy cleaver in his hand, stood the ship's butcher, resting his instrument on the block, and leaning upon it. The officers and crew were assembled — one of the prisoners was brought up and placed to hear his sentence, which Mr. Bullfit pronounced in some unknown tongue — his motions, however, clearly defining, by his pointing first at the Tartar's cocoa-nut, then at the block, and lastly at the axe, that the fellow was to be decapitated. Scarcely any one had credited that the 24 THE OLD SAILORS Commander would carry matters so far ; but the energy and solemnity of his manner left no doubt amongst the people, that he designed to deal out the extreme of vengeance ; and not a few shuddered at the thoughts of witnessing a deed of blood, perpetrated in a spirit of cool calm and deliberation. As for the Tartar, his terror nearly deprived him of every power except that of his lungs ; for when he saw the deadly pre- paration, he roared most lustily, and, falling on his knees, earnestly implored for his life. But his entreaties were in vain ; three or four stout fellows laid hold of him, and in an instant he was prostrate, and held fast, with his neck upon the block. " Do your duty, my man, and do it well!" exclaimed Mr. Bullfit to the butcher, who thereupon stood over against the prisoner, flourishing his bright cleaver above his head. It was a moment of thrilling horror amongst the crew — and some, in the generosity of their hearts, were half prepared to rush forward and rescue the unhappy criminal ; but rigid discipline restrained them, and they stood impatiently awaiting the result. Nor had they long to remain. The butcher still flourished his upraised cleaver ; excitement was getting more intense, when the sonorous voice of the Commander was heard to thunder forth — "Strike!" There was a moment of suspense ; down came the shining blade — a groan of anguish burst from the crew — down came the blade, and cut off the Tartar's — tail — the head having been slued round, at the precise moment, to effect this object. The tars smolced the fun, and laughed heartily, whilst the prisoner was removed out of sight ; some red paint and saw-dust were rubbed on a piece of old canvass near the block, and the next captive was summoned, who, on perceiving the arrangements, and beholding what he supposed to be the blood of his companion, roared most lustily : he was served the same way as the first, and placed by himself apart. The third came up, doggedly determined — he did not utter a word, and never flinched when his neck was laid in due order ; but, nevertheless, he was in no small degree gratified, when he found that only his tail was off, and not his head. A boat was manned, the prisoners were put into it, and their meeting again, when each supposed the other dead, was truly ludicrous. Mr. Wildgust took them ashore, and they were delivered up to the proper authorities. Having effected this, the mate thought he would himself call upon the family of the boatswain's lady-love, especially as it lay in his way. He found the doors open, the furniture cleared away, and the building entirely deserted. Nor could he gain any clue to the cause of their disappearance, or to the place to which they were gone ; in fact, a principal portion of the respectable inhabitants had removed from the neighbourhood, and suspicions were excited that the natives intended to rebel, which were ultimately strengthened by the conduct of some Tartar troops, as the boats of the Mercury laid waiting at the landing-place for the officer. Wildgust lost not a moment in getting aboard, and communicating his views to his Commander, who hastened to report the circumstance to the captain of one of those abominations in naval architecture, which had been particularly selected for a JOLLY BOAT. 25 service and a climate totally unsnited to them — I mean the twenty-eight gun, or jackass frigate. During the absence of Lieutenant Bullfit on this duty, Mr. Wildgust informed Pearson of what he had witnessed ashore, which so operated on the mental faculties of the unfortunate boatswain, that he was very near perpetrating several extravagant acts, and was only restrained from setting all discipline at defiance, by the vigilance of honest Jack Moberly ; in short, the unhappy man was nearly driven mad at the supposed loss of his Chinese beauty. Never did the strong passion work more powerfully, than on his muscular frame — endeavours to soothe him, served rather to increase than allay irritation; and, before his commander's return, he was confined to his cabin under the influences of brain-fever. Sickness Was at this time committing fearful ravages amongst the troops, so that there were but few who could do duty, and death daily swept off his victims — the Chinese rejoiced at this, and watched for a favourable opportunity to retaliate upon their conquerors. Under these circumstances, the Mercury was ordered round to Canton, for the purpose of sending transports to remove the men, and evacuate the island. The ship was unmoored, but Pearson's whistle was not heard to cheer up the crew ; the anchor was weighed, but the voice of the boatswain was mute. Wildgust visited him as soon as duty would permit, but his language was wild and incoherent, a mingling-up together of past and present events in a strange and sometimes ludicrous manner. His love-letter, however, appeared to be uppermost in his mind, coupled with a desire to transmit further communication ; foi every now and then he occupied himself in chalking such curious figures on the bulkhead of his cabin, that it was well for the human race he had had no hand in manufacturing the first sample. The doctor directed that, though he should be narrowly w r atched, no especial restraint was to be laid upon his actions ; and old Jack, at all opportunities, waited upon him as if he had been an infant, aiding him in his pictorial designs and literary labours, with the same serious attention that he would have done, had his master been perfectly sane, and the cabin, like an illustrated tea-chest, was to be presented to Miss Ring Ching Fou. There were hearts split in two, broken harpoons, an altar capsized, the lady carried off by an elephant, and Moberly suggested and accomplished himself, the boatswain standing on his head, in order to show that his brain was turned by the loss of his love. The Mercury sailed, and Lieutenant Bullfit felt himself far more comfortable at home in his peculiar element, with the blue waters around and beneath him, and the clear sky above, than when secured by the nose, the ship had only a few fathoms' space between the ground and her keel. The lively motion w r hilst careering over the waves, was far pleasanter than the heavy monotonous roll as she lay at anchor, and the spread of canvass was more gratifying to the sight, than the sails rolled up, and the yards delicately squared. Besides, the commander had now an opportunity of the fresh sea-breeze to 4 26 THE OLD SAILOR S recruit the health and strength of his men ; for disease had commenced its work of destruction, and several of the crew had fallen already victims. It is a difficult thing for a ship, when once assailed by sickness, to get clear of it again — it clings with such a tenacity. I remember a frigate in the West Indies, which yellow Jack got hold of, and no efforts could unship him, until nearly two hundred of her crew had been consigned to an ocean grave. CHAPTER IV. Once more to the Mercury, as she speeds on her way to the place of destination. Sickness still prevailed, though the active and unremitting exertions of the surgeon had somewhat checked it ; the boatswain, how- ever, continued with but faint prospects of amendment, sometimes trembling on the very verge of eternity, and then rallying again, so as to entirely puzzle the doctor's calculations. They were about three days' sail from the port, when the winds became light and fickle, though still fair — the ship made small progress. It was evening ; the surface of the sea was clear and tranquil, the night was fine, and the atmosphere pleasantly warm. Mr. Wildgust was walking on the deck as officer of the watch, when Jack Moberly came aft, and touching his hat, pointed to a bright luminous appear- ance at some distance in the water. The colour was a greenish blue, rich and beautiful to look upon, and as it moved slowly along, it re- vived recollections of ancient tales, in which fairies are represented as scattering diamonds, so brilliant were the gems that sparkled around the movements of the ocean fiend. " I'm afeard, yer honor, as it's all up with my governor," said Jack, mournfully shaking his head, and looking at the ominous light. " I hope he's not worse than he was," returned Mr. Wildgust, with emotion ; " poor fellow he has suffered much, and " " He'll not never suffer much longer, yer honor," remarked Moberly, in a tone of sympathy ; " his line has nearly run out — his cable's at a short stay peak — there's one heaving in sight to give his last warning " " What do you mean, Jack ?" demanded the young officer, as a super- stitious thrill crept over him, and his eyes were directed towards the luminous appearance that expanded and grew larger and larger as it drew nearer to them. At first, it was broad away on the starboard bow, but as the vessel progressed, it slowly launched onward, till it attained a position upon the starboard quarter, and kept way with the ship, occasionally inclining to fall into her wake. For half a minute both stood silent, and Wildgust became aware that the whole watch had gathered together in groups at the gangway, and were earnestly dis- cussing the nature of the spectral visitation on the deep. JOLLY BOAT. 27 " Well, Jack ! " said the officer, " I can see it plain enough, and so can all hands ; it is nothing more than a young grampus that takes us for its dam." " That ere's no grampus, yer honor," said Moberly, solemnly ; " look at the lofty black peak as he carries in a mid-ships towering out of the water, like a himp astride of some infernal monster. — No, no, Mr. Wildgust, that ere's a messenger for my governor ; and rely upon it, Sir, he'll never quit the craft till Muster Pearson and he walk off together — that ere's one of your blue sharks ; I've been watching on him a long time, but he knows too well what he's arter to clap himself alongside." The word " shark," rather loudly spoken, seemed to have a thrilling effect upon all who heard it ; so that it was instantly repeated by many mouths, amid the instinctive dread which seamen invariably have at the sight of this rapacious and terrible creature, which appeared to be following the vessel without an effort of its own to do so. the large fin upon its back not inaptly resembling the description given by honest Jack, who, in a short time recovering from his dread, prepared the shark-hook and other implements, in case the monstei should give them a chance of grappling with him. But this he never did during the remainder of the night, for he preserved his distance till daylight, when he cautiously ventured upon a nearer acquaintance ; and as he frisked close under the lee counter, displayed a monster about fifteen or sixteen feet in length, leering up at the men with longing eyes ; but whether he smacked his lips it was impossible to see, as the mouth of this voracious creature was out of sight. Three or four handsome little fish, from six to ten inches long, swam close to his nose, and diverged towards the baited shark-hook that had been put over the traffrail ; they were striped like a zebra, and here and there a few black spots on a white skin. These were the pilots to the shark who would have drawn him to the bait, but he disregarded it ; and pressing to lee- ward, shot a-head, and having crossed the bows, again took up his station on the starboard quarter. From this time till they reached the anchorage, and joined the ad- miral, did the creature follow the ship ; sometimes ranging close to her stern and floundering coyishly at the bait on the hook, at other times darting away, as if in pursuit of some object in the distance. At night his course was tracked by his gorgeous light ; by day the enormous fin on his back correctly pointed out his whereabout ; and so pertina- ciously did he continue to preserve companionship, that the officers, as well as the men, experienced strange feelings of dread that made them shudder whilst contemplating the unnatural association ; and the con- versations and commands which had previously been carried on in cheerful, hearty language, now descended into little more than whispers, as the anxious look was cast towards the pursuing monster of the ocean, and the thoughts reverted to poor Pearson the boatswain. As I have already said, they joined the admiral ; and the Mercury having anchored, Lieutenant Bullfit entered his six-oared cutter to convey the despatches to the seventy -four. The boat shoved off, and so did the shark, for it followed the former to the admiral's ship, round 28 THE OLD SAILOR S which it swam several times, and though tempted, by sundry pieces of meat that covered the well-barbed instrument, to taste of dainty fare, it resisted every invitation to feast. The story of the creature was soon told by the lieutenant, together with the illness of poor Pearson ; it excited strong antipathies in the mind of the line-of-battle ship's company, though there was not wanting for some of them expressing a wish that the monster would take a fancy to their surly, tyrannical old boatswain, instead of the boatswain of the Mercury. Muskets were got up, and the balls rattled towards the creature, but it seemed to take no heed of them ; harpoons were hurled, but he dexterously evaded all ; and on Mr. Bullfit pulling away to join his ship, the shark attended upon him with the utmost politeness, and returned to the Mercury. Excitement grew higher and higher as the shark continued to follow the vessel, and poor Pearson got worse and worse, so that he was sup- posed to be near his last gasp. Jack Moberly was half wild ; in vain he plied and plashed the baited hook in the water, changed the temp- tation from beef to pork and from pork to beef ; the shark seemed regardless, and as Jack observed, " was detarmined to keep banyan-day till he got howld of the governor." At last, a young pig that had been smothered, was thrust upon the crooked iron, and Moberly, ordering every one to keep out of sight, himself played the tempter. The delicacy was thrown with some violence into the water from the taff- rail, and the splashing noise brought the shark towards it. The pilot fish swam round as Jack suffered the dead grunter to drop astern with the current, and then briskly hauled it ahead again, as if trying to escape. More than once the huge monster had ogled the bait, and half turned himself upon his back to nibble ; but Jack, like a clever lawyer, would not let him taste, under conviction that, when properly vexed, he would gorge the whole. Nor was he mistaken ; for, after some pretty practice in the way of teasing, the shark floated belly upwards, opened his ponderous jaws, and Moberly, watching the opportunity, slacked away the line so as to drop the pig into his throat. The monster shut-to his teeth and shook the bait as a terrier shakes a rat — his tail lathered the water into foam — the pig was swallowed — the line hauled taut — and a shout from the ship's company proclaimed his capture. Still, with, so powerful and savage an adversary, great care was requisite in getting him aboard, especially as his rage knew no bounds when he felt himself a captive, though not yet conquered. A running bowline was slipped round him, he was dragged forward to the gangway, and hauled aboard by the main-yard and main-stay tackles. Then came the tug of war; the men now hand-to-hand (if I may use the term) with their once dreaded opponent, feared him no longer; axes, top-mauls, crow-bars, handspikes, cutlasses, every offensive weapon was put in requisition to destroy him, whilst the enraged creature snapped at everybody like a dog, or throwing his huge carcass from the deck, endeavoured with his tail to sweep away his tormenters. Slap went a hen-coop to pieces, and away flew cocks and hens in wild disorder. Jack Moberly took the post of honour close to his nose as he held on the line, and narrowly did he watch the JOLJLY BOAT. 29 vicious eye of his enemy ; whilst all hands, as they saw the shark get weaker and weaker, joyfully proclaimed their triumph, till, utterly exhausted, the monster stretched himself out, and died. The capture of a shark is an event of no small magnitude on board a ship. Nature seems to have implanted in the breast of a seaman an instinctive animosity against this voracious creature, something similar to that which the terrier displays to the rat ; but the worthy tar carries his hatred and vengeance no farther than the death, for whilst the canine animal, after shaking the life out of him, leaves his victim un- touched, honest Jack indulges in gastronomic desires, and, like the cannibals of the South Sea islands, actually eats his conquered enemy ~-for a piece of shark, though rather dry when cooked by itself, may nevertheless be nicely fried in oil, and served up as a fish steak — if it is amalgamated with savoury things, such as a delicate piece of briny- junk, with a due proportion of salt pork (the yankee is the best), both having been previously towed overboard for several hours, it makes a delicious sea-pie, with as many decks as the cook pleases. Header, did you ever taste a glorious — full of gravy — voluptuous sea-pie? — (I am smacking my lips at this moment) — One of five tiers, magni- ficently piled up in a camp-kettle ? The crusts rich with the juice of the melting viands, and emitting odours that might draw an angel from the spheres ? You never have ! — Well, then, before long I will give you full directions how to manufacture this exquisite dainty ; but to enjoy it to perfection, you must first put yourself upon short allow- ance for three months ; hard mouldy biscuit, replete with animation, and strongly inclined to run away from you ; beef, that can be com- pared to nothing more applicable than pickled, mahogany ; and occasionally the choice indulgence of cheese, perfectly innocent of cream, but concocted of rancid fat, kitchen stuff, bees- wax and glue, with a mixture of yellow and red ochre to give it a colour — as for the fragrance which it emitted after a long perspiration in the purser's store-room — faugh ! I had better say nothing about it ; but I have actually known purser's stewards so powerfully impregnated by the effluvia, that they never got rid of it through the remainder of their existence. But to return to the shark. Another pleasant meal may be gathered from its tail, converted into what the sailors call chowder ; in fact, after a four months' cruise upon ship's provisions, a sixteen-feet-in- length shark is by no means a despicable prize for those who relish a fresh meal. We left the overpowered foe dead upon the deck, and no sooner had his last sigh escaped, than Jack Moberly took out an immense clasp knife, which he waved above his head as a signal for others to follow the example ; and big with anticipations as to what the creature's capa- cious maw might contain, all set to work to reveal the hidden secret, by opening his chest. This is always a moment of great excitement ; for let whoever will have lost any thing during the monster's visitation, however light or heavy, large or small it may be, the shark get's the credit of having 30 THE OLD SAILOK'S swallowed it; so that a number of interested persons, as well as speculators and spectators, gather round to witness the cutting up. And there stood the Commander, Lieutenant Bullfit, earnestly gazing upon the triumph of his crew ; whilst foremost amongst the hackers and hewers, giving instructive hints to the operators, was Mr. Wildgust and the midshipman. Jack Moberly, however, was so well practised in the anatomical process, that he required no information on the subject; besides, the worthy boatswain's mate enjoyed proud exultation of heart, and he vowed to " dewote the first thing of vally in the shark's dis- testines to his governor, Mr. Pearson, whose recovery was pretty sartin now they had caught the fellow as wanted to dismolish hirn." " Stand clear there, Jolly," said Moberly, to a marine who was pressing rather too close upon him ; " I'd lay my life as you've been rated a 'long-shore lawyer's clerk, and fancies this is your owld master transmogrificated." " No, indeed, I do not," responded the marine, testily ; " but I wish, Jack, when you overhaul his kit, you'd just see if there's a pair of breeches of mine. Pray don't cut too deep, or you may injure them." " Aye, aye, I'll keep a good look out, never fear " exclaimed the boatswain's mate — " Has any more on you missed your duds ?" " Och, then !" shouted an Irishman of the alter-guard ; " it's my baccy box I've lost, argus ; besides a pair of shoes, which may-be he's dacently walked off with." " My bellows are nowhere to be found," said the commander's cook ; *' be gentle with the point of your knife, Jack, for fear you should rip a hole in the leather, and let out the wind." " He's not never got your bellows, cook, depend upon it," remarked a dissector ; " for if so be as he had, he might have used 'em to blow breath in his body, and so kept his-self alive — but I feels something hard—" " No doubt on it, Jem," uttered another ; for my part I shouldn't wonder if it's the kedge anchor as we cut from ; he must have taken it out of the mouth of the river, and swallowed it down his own throat." " Don't forget to look for one of my buckets when you're over- hauling his lockers," requested the cooper. I'm bless'd if he arn't big enough to take in a scuttle butt." " Avast there, lads," shouted one of the cutters-up, as he bent Lis head down close to the fish. " Silence fore-and-aft — I'd thank you, Mr. Wildgust, to order a stopper to be clapped on some of their muzzle lashings " — and he inclined his ear so as nearly to touch the 6hark. The operators suspended their labours, and whilst silence was pro- claiming, Jack Moberly inquired, " Why, what is it, Dick ? Surely it arn't never — " " But I'm bless'd if I don't think it is, Jack," answered the other, interrupting his shipmate, and giving him a look of comical expression, which, however, had a peculiar meaning in it. " Listen yourself, my hearty ; you may hear it as plain as possible. Then I'm blow'd if the JOLLY BOAT. SI creatur hasn't bolted a Chinamun, for that ere langridge as I hears inside of him is Chinese, and nothing else." Dick's face assumed great gravity whilst making this positive assertion, and his manner seemed to effect considerable impression on the minds of those who heard him ; — in a few minutes the utmost silence prevailed, and it was evident to the ears of all who were adjacent to the fish, that sounds resembling the human voice, when an individual is in pain, were issuing from some part of the creature — a thrilling sensation ran through almost every one present ; even the officers were not free from it ; the feeling communicated itself to the whole of the ship's company, and each, with the exception of Jack Moberly, wore a countenance of surprise, not unmingled with gloom. " It must be a babby," said the boatswain's mate, with a grin, as he looked up to his officer. " Not a wooden one this time, Mr. Wildgust ; but, mayhap, as Dick says, it's a China babby as he's puck- alowed. Good luck to him, as long as it isn't my governor ; and if it should be a live thingemhee — I means a babby — I'll take it as my share of the consarn, in regard of giving it to Muster Pearson. Now gently to work, lads, and don't let's be parpetrating murder on an innocent child." Thus advised, the men went on cautiously in their operations, though more than one declined having anything further to do with it, and shutting their knives, became lookers-on. The shark's maw was opened — what it contained I shall not here record, lest the very fact should throw the shadow of a doubt upon the veracity of my narrative ; but this the reader may rest assured of, "there was no Chinaman. Every article produced roars of laughter from the people, on whom the reaction of joyous mirth had superseded the momentary impulse of superstitious aw T e. The sounds, however, though fainter, had not entirely ceased, and further investigation brought into light five lively young sharks, from whom, no doubt, the noise proceeded ; they were put into a tub of water, and swam about as brisk and frisky as they well could be. Matters being thus satisfactorily accounted for, and the fish cut up into shares, the decks were washed, and order and discipline resumed their accustomed sway. It was somewhat curious, however, to witness the alacrity with which the Chinese boats assembled near the ship, and picked up the offal of the dead fish as it was thrown overboard ; but whether they ate it with their rice, or used it as bait for their hooks, I am not able to determine ; perhaps, as they are wretchedly poor, they enjoyed it both ways. The men-of-war were anchored at the entrance of the Bocca Tigris, or Tiger's Mouth, but the intelligence brought by the Mercury very speedily put them in motion. The Admiral made the signal to un- moor, which was promptly answered; and Jack Moberly hastened down to his " Governor " with the information that they were about to return, without delay to Chusan, where he might again have the happiness to behold Miss Ring Ching Fou. The boatswain received the intelligence with satisfaction ; but nature was much exhausted in him, and though his heart was still warmly alive to the object >f hii 32 THE OLD SAILORS devoted regard, yet corporeal weakness" had reduced his frame to the feebleness of childhood, and the mind had yielded its strength as the body gradually wasted away. Nevertheless, the pleasing prospect that was opened to him, served to cast a bright light upon his future path, and with a seaman's promptitude of feeling, he began building serial castles, which were destined to speedy destruction ; for the Mercury, instead of sailing with the Admiral, was ordered up to the famous city of Canton, in order to assist in keeping the place under subjection, and in a short time after the departure of the squadron, the pilot cam© on board to conduct her to her destination. The change, though unexpected, and naturally calculated to create disappointment, did not seem to cause so much distress to poor Pearson as it did to Jack Mobeiiy— a worthy fellow, whose highest gratification was to see every one around him happy. His attachment to the boatswain was of a perfectly disinterested character — in fact, it militated against his own interests; for had the " governor" quitted this life, honest Jack would have succeeded to his post — the appoint- ment would, no doubt, have been confirmed, and the gallant seaman would at once have been converted into a warrant officer. Beautiful is the passage up to Canton, especially through Whampoa Reach, with its numerous plantations of rice on either hand — and Whampoa Island, spreading its lovely foliage, intermingled with fruits and flowers — the bright green sugar cane, and the fragrant groves of orange trees, whilst in the far-off distance appear, in their intense blue, the mountains to the northward of Canton. Nor are the waters less picturesque to the eye of a stranger. Ships, of almost all maritime nations, may be seen at anchor here, discharging their cargoes into curiously constructed boats, called " chops," or receiving their lading of teas, rice, silks, &c, in a similar way. Vessels of various descriptions crowd the stream — some of large dimensions, gorgeously painted, and their yellow sails of split bamboo glistening in the sun-— from the Sanpan, containing a whole family, to the Mandarin war- junk, for the prevention of smuggling : but when they can do it without much fear of detection, the greatest smugglers of all. These, of their various classes, form a series of interesting features in the landscape peculiar to this nation ; but the most marked characteristic is a lofty pagoda that crowns an eminence on Whampoa Island, and which tells you at once that you are really in the empire of China, for in no other part of the world are similar buildings to be seen. The Mercury remained one tide at Whampoa, and then proceeded onwards to Canton, passing, in her way, the island on which stand.] (or did stand) the ruins of an European fort, which was in the progress of erection many years ago by the Dutch, who, desirous of taking advantage of the pacific nature of John Chinaman, wanted to gain a stable and permanent footing in China ; and the better to effect this purpose, they deemed it absolutely requisite, in the first instance, to have a place of refuge to resort to, and from which they might overawe, by means of heavy artillery, the inhabitants of Canton. But this was no easy matter ; for the Chinese were extremely jealous of the JOLLY BO.VT. 33 " barbarians," and would not, for one moment, have listened to any propositions relative to the erection of a- fort, or the landing of a single cannon. The Dutch, however, after much difficulty, obtained per- mission to build an hospital for their sick, and a part of this island was granted for the purpose ; the outer walls were gradually run up, but not as an asylum for disease, as they merely served to mask the more substantial work that was going on under cover, so as to be concealed from the prying observations of the Chinese. As fast as the walls ascended from the outer extremes, so did the fort progress within them, till the undertaking promised to be crowned with success: which most probably would have been fully realised, but for an unlucky accident that betrayed and ruined their scheme. Of course an hospital was perfectly useless without ample provisions for the convalescent, and lots of medicine for the sick ; this was an axiom no Chinaman was prepared to deny, and consequently immense casks were unshipped from Dutch Indiamen to supply both. It happened, however, that in hoisting out one of these casks of provisions, it unfortunately slipped out of the slings, and down it came with a tremendous crash, bursting the staves and forcing out the heads, to the great alarm of the IToppo, or Custom-house Officer. But what was his astonishment when, instead of condiments for human consumption, he saw rolling from its recent confinement, a handsome brass cannon ? *' Ayah ! " said he, " what can be ? Sick man nyam gun ? — how can do?" This brought the affair to a crisis — an investigation was insti- tuted — the true intent of the hospital was discovered — the authorities were upon the high stilts — the peacocks' feathers and the yellow buttons issued their edicts, and the Dutch were not only compelled to forego their designs, but also the history of the event will be recorded as long as the memory of succeeding generations shall endure. One of the most wonderful scenes that the human mind can possibly conceive, is that of the floating streets before the city of Canton ; literally boats of every kind, moored in lines, and containing a popu- lation of more than two hundred thousand persons, many of whom never visit the shore, and all are compelled to be in their floating houses by sunset. Nor are the narrow, but densely crowded lanes (for they cannot be called streets), of the city, objects of less interest ; the houses of but one story high, painted in bright colours, and orna- mented with monsters of every shape that imagination can devise ; the windows on the opposite sides being, in many instances, so near together, that when going to bed the inmates may easily cross hands and exchange nightcaps. Honest Jack Moberly, with, some of his shipmates, was sent up in the boat to the factory, to assist the merchants in securing valuable property; and as soon as the business was concluded the men were indulged in their favourite beverage, till several of them were delight- fully in nulibus, and fancied their faculties were equal to the most important affairs. The boatswain's mate, having partaken freely of the elixir vita?, felt an earnest desire to study practical geography, by paying a visit or two to the grog-shops ; and, being well supplied 5 34 THE OLD SAILOR S with dollars, he strolled away from his companions, and wandered into Shoe-lane, which, however, he had scarcely entered, when he became aware that a thief (and this part of the city abounds with them), had lightened his jacket pocket of the cash it had contained. Highly exasperated, but determined, if possible, to punish the offender, Jack said nothing ; he returned to the ship, fixed some stout fish- hooks inside the pocket that had been plundered, secured it to his side, and then returned to the vicinity of the place where he had been robbed. Here he reeled along, staggering from side to side, and jostling among the thousands that were moving to and fro in the confined thoroughfare, at the same time occasionally jingling his dollars. The bait took ; a fellow w ho had long parted with honesty put his hand, in the "most delicate manner imaginable, into the pouch of the seaman, and grasped the money, but in doing so he also clutched the barbed instruments, and Jack, giving his pocked a smart blow with his hand, the rogue was firmly caught. At first he tried to withdraw his flipper, but escape was all hookey with him ; whilst Jack, seemingly, took no further notice of the affair, folded his arms, and walked carelessly on, smoking his pipe, and keeping in tow the Chinaman, who, feeling the lacerating barbs, did not dare to flinch, but followed his leader, making terrible contortions of countenance, and writhing with the pain under which he was suffering, to the gieat astonishment of the spectators, who could not account for the fellow keeping his hand in the pocket, on any other score than that of necromancy. Thus circumstanced, Jack paraded his prisoner in front of the factory two or three times, and then passed into Shoe- lane, a dirty, narrow thoroughfare, with shops of ail descriptions on each side. Opposite to a cook's shop, whose front was decorated with dried geese, squeezed as flat as a pancake, and having a huge dragon over all, a mandarin, with his everlasting umbrella^ made his appearance on one side, and a lieutenant of one of the English ships- of war on the other side, whilst a vendor of cats, for the making of soup, and numbers of other retailers of strange articles, watched the proceedings. Jack smoked away, and rolled onwards, never giving his tortured prize one look of recognition, or appearing at all sen- sible of his close approximation. The mandarin was struck comical with astonishment that the fellow did not run away, and every one expressed a firm believe that Satan had a principal hand in the deten- tion of his fist ; but none could . help laughing at the sco mdrel's ludicrous antics, which my friend Itobert Cruikshank has so cleverly portrayed in his illustration. At length, wearied of the exhibition, Jack made a short tack into the factory, where his mode of catching a pick-pocket was explained, and the hooks, benig cut from their fastenings, were drawn through the Chinaman's hand. The punishment the poor wretch had under- gone being deemed pretty well sufficient, he was merely indulged with a sound and salutary bambooing, and set at liberty, amidst the shouts of the English seamen and the derision of his countrymen ; the persecution of the latter arising, not from any abhorrence of I^s&rzs &, ~-^^£ //■ JOLLY BOAT. 85 stealing, but that the thief should be so inexpert in his profession as to allow himself to be caught by a " 5 removed, revealed pieces of paper and parchment, written upon, both in English and in Chinese ; and one contained a diminutive portrait, which had evidently been painted for the purpose of being set in a ling. The hand-writing and the likeness were equally known to Metcalfe — they were those of his own father ; and when the name of the lady's mother was imparted to him, he declared that his mission was ended — he had faithfully executed the dying injunctions of his parent, who had solemnly requested him to visit every part of China that could be visited, in order, if possible, to discover his lost child ; to whom, if found, he had bequeathed a handsome property. Proof after proof was developed ; Ching Ring's recollections corroborated the facts ; all doubt was at an end ; she was his sister, by the same father ; he had been sent to seek her, and he at onee acknowledged the affinity. Poor Pearson was seized with powerful apprehensions when in- formed of what had occurred ; for he feared that, now the lady was heiress to a fortune, she would reject him for some more wealthy or exalted individual; besides, Mr. Metcalfe was so much his superior in station, that he naturally concluded the young gentleman would not allow his relative to be united to a poor boatswain, however good a seaman or honest he might be ; and thus matters stood for a few days, till orders were issued for the troops to embark for Nankin, and Mr. Metcalfe and his sister, with the other ladies, who wished to fly from the pestilence, were accommodated in her Majesty's ship the Mercury. The young passenger behaved to Pearson with his usual affable demeanour, but the subordinate station occupied by the boatswain did not admit of intercourse with the Commander's cabin, so that he saw but very little of his " ladyc love ;" still she had been discovered, and was in the same vessel with him. There was nothing he could reasonably complain of; but, nevertheless, he was far from happy. Once or twice he thought of sending her another letter, but he dreaded to give offence ; then he determined to speak to her brother, and at once to ascertain his doom. An opportunity occurred to put his resolve into execution ; and, as he was aware that even Lieutenant Bullfit himself had been very sweet to the lady, he cautiously em- braced it. Mr. Metcalfe listened sedately and quietly to the rough, but natural eloquence of his friend the boatswain. The appeal excited neither anger nor animosity, but it produced no immediate reply ; and Pearson, who earnestly hoped that the matter would be promptly decided, was again labouring under an agony of suspense, which his attached mentor, honest Jack Moberly, in vain strove to dissipate. The fleet ascended the river, and anchored before the vast and scattered city of Nankin, crowned by its woody heights, and having, besides its own walled defences, a strong Tartar fortress in the south- east. These contained upwards of a million of inhabitants, of which the combined regulars and militia formed a body but little short of thirty thousand men, which the assailants had to attack with a force not exceeding four thousand five hundred. JOLLY BOAT. 49 The landing took place ; demonstrations were admirably made, the men-of-war and steamers were anchored in excellent position for cannonading, and every arrangement carried into effect to promise success. Four or five days were thus occupied ; the Mercury had a prominent place assigned to her ; the ladies were consigned to the hold, where a space had been cleared for them ; and every thing was in full readiness to commence the assault, when despatches were received from Sir Henry Pottinger, the Plenipotentiary, announcing that the Chinese Commissioners had come to their senses, and the Emperor, alarmed at the rapid progress which the English had made, solicited a suspension of hostilities, and ordered the first instalment which had been agreed upon, to be instantly paid — the war in China was at an end. Pearson had vainly endeavoured to persuade himself that he had no real grounds for fear, though certainly his expectations were greatly damped by the young man's continued silence. As soon, however, as it became more than probable that there would be no more fighting, Mr. Metcalfe (who had made himself extremely useful as an interpreter during the negociations) solicited a private interview with the Admiral, which was granted. Of course, what passed under the seal of privacy ought to be held sacred, and therefore it is not intended to reveal it ; but Mr. Metcalfe, on his return to the ship, sought his old companion the boatswain, and found him sitting in his cabin, his head resting on the open palms of his hands, and altogether in a most doleful and dismal mood. " I cannot bear up against it, Jack," said he, without uncovering his face, and supposing that it was his mate who entered. " What will life be to me if I lose the beauty, and my heart loving her as it does? If she had remained a mere hull, without a farthing of freight, I would have joyously hailed her as my wife ; aye, Jack, I would have married her if she had no more canvass to set than a flannel petticoat. Nay, for the matter of that, I should have been proud to have taken her, even under bare poles. But now she has weathered the breeze, and shipped a rich cargo — " " She is yours still," exclaimed the young passenger, "You love each other, and God forbid I should ever separate you." The dejected Pearson started up the instant he heard the voice ; but his mind was so cast down that he did not at first comprehend the meaning of the words ; but the real state of the case was soon made manifest, by Mr. Metcalfe and his sister, accompanied by the gratified boatswain, going on shore to the suburbs of the city, where they could enjoy freer communication than on board the ship. The following day the enamoured couple were united by an English clergyman, who acted as chaplain ; a spacious and elegant place had been hastily fitted up for the marriage feast ; no expense was spared, every thing was conducted on the grandest scale ; and, though not exactly in accordance with etiquette, yet sometimes tolerated and even encouraged on a foreign service, the assemblage was of a rather miscellaneous character. The fat lady and her 50 THE OLD SAILOR'S daughters, with other Chinese beauties— Tartars and Chinamen, officers of the army and navy ; seamen and soldiers — all joined in the general hilarity. There were the choicest wines and liquors — grog, cigars, tobacco ; every delicacy, tea included ; bowls of rice, and lots of chop-sticks ; fish, flesh, and fowl ; delicious fruits ; music and dancing, in which Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson figured it away in joyous delight (see my friend Robert Cruikshank's sketch) till they danced off altogether ; and , but not another word shall I say about the wedding. Pearson obtained leave of absence (on account of his health) from the Admiral, and Jack Moberly — honest Jack — succeeded him in his office as boatswain of the Mercury. The happy couple and Mr. Metcalfe had a favourable passage to Calcutta, where the latter speedily arranged all his business, and the three then embarked for England. On arrival, Richard Pearson, Esq., quitted the service, and being put in possession of his wife's property, retired from busy life to a pretty place he purchased in , where he enjoys all the blessings and comforts of existence, generously dispensing his bounty to every worthy object. RECOLLECTIONS OF SERVICE. BY A MARINE OFFICER. On the 26th of September, 1806, having stood out to sea somewhat further than usual, we perceived, when returning towards the land at day-break, several strange sail, and made the signal for the nearest ship to them (The Monarch) to give chase ; as the light increased, we thought they bore the appearance of men-of-war, and flattered ourselves we had at length gained the object of some months of tedious watching and blockade ; for we scarcely doubted that it was the Rochefort squadron, which we had been long and anxiously endeavouring to decoy out of their stronghold. Our squadron now made all sail in chase, with a spanking breeze, studding sails below and aloft, the Monarch some miles in advance — we made the signal to clear for action (a rather serious sort of operation, you must know, on board a line-of- battle ship, as most of the officers' cabins, etc., are on the fighting deck, and their contents are necessarily bundled below somewhat rudely ; indeed it is something like emptying your house out of the windows and then pulling it about your ears) ; and about nine o'clock the Monarch made the signal that the objects of our chase were enemy's frigates, which, though not what we had hitherto an- ticipated, yet that they were enemies was still encouraging, and as we were evidently gaining upon them, afforded us the hopes of a bit of a brush and a little prize-money. We were steering to the southward, and the enemy appeared inclined to stick together. We now made out four fine-looking frigates and two brigs — the Monarch, the Mars, and the old Centaur outsailed the rest of the squadron considerably, and the Monarch having a considerable start, was first enabled to bring them to action, which she did about noon, and got *-yn£< iJi ptz&vs-tfsc/rLJ w//v JOLLY BOAT. 51 very roughly handled before we came up, when one of the frigates and the two brigs hauled off to the westward ; we made the Mars signal to follow them, ourselves pressing forward to join the Monarch, which ship was very much cut up about the rigging — from a " strong wind, and a chopping sea," she was unable to bear her lower deck ports open, which disadvantage almost rendered a large frigate her equal. One of the frigates, L'Armide, struck as we were coming up, but the other two kept up the game manfully, and served us about as bad as they had served the Monarch ; indeed, they almost unrigged us ; and one of them (La Minerve), after passing close across our stern, and raking us, took a position on our starboard quarter — at which time a musket-shot from her, wounded the Commodore (Sir Samuel Hood), shattering his right arm at the elbow, which obliged him soon afterwards to go below. La Minerve presently struck her colours, and we made what sail we could after the other frigate (L'Indefatigable), which yielded without resistance. The two brigs escaped us, but one of them (Le Lynx) was afterwards captured by the boats of the Galatse frigate, in the West Indies, after a most determined resistance ; so that a tolerable good account was rendered of the little squadron. In the action, the Monarch had twenty-six killed and wounded ; the Centaur four killed, and the Commodore and five or six others wounded. Sir Samuel's arm was amputated immediately after the action. The loss on the part of the enemy's frigates was near one hundred and fifty killed and wounded ; their crowded state (having each three hundred and fifty troops on board, besides their crews, amounting to about the same number), sufficiently accounts for this great loss on their part. Lieutenant H. C. Thompson and myself were sent to take possession of La Gloire, which you may suppose we found in terrible disorder- she had six feet water in her hold, and it was increasing fast, and before we could get her to rights, she took fire forwards, and was in great danger of blowing up, as her magazines were not yet secured— and so great was the consternation on the part of the prisoners, particularly the French troops, that numbers jumped overboard, but by the strenuous exertions of the boats of the squadron, which had now come up, they were all saved ; and with our men, and such of the French as we could get to assist, we after some time got the fire under, having first drowned magazines. In consequence of the number of prisoners and others on board the Centaur, the Commodore sent my brother Sub (Rorie) on board the prize, and ordered me back to the Centaur ; when, in consequence of Sir Samuel's wound, we left the squadron in command of the next senior officer, and proceeded to Spithead with our prize La Gloire. The morning after our arrival (which had been communicated to the Admiralty by telegraph) Lady Hood came alongside, at three o'clock in the morning, in a wherry; being too anxious to wait for the accommodation due to her rank, she would not even wait to be hoisted on board, as is usual for ladies, and in attempting to mount the side of the ship, she slipped overboard, but escaped with only a partial ducking. DICK FIT TON A GHOST STOEY. BY "THE OLD SAILO B." CHAPTER I. My old shipmate, Dick, belonged to the gunner's crew, in a smart thirty-eight gun frigate — when sober, as clever a seaman as ever took a trick at the weather wheel, or flew aloft to furl a main course ; but when drunk — and drunk he would be whenever he could get the stuff — a sad mutinous, though humorous dog, caring for neither angel of light nor angel of darkness, and ready for any thing that promised mischief or fun. Dick often tasted the tails of the cat ; and sometimes, when brought up to the gangway, the Captain would reason with him, promising to look over that particular fault, if he would pledge his word not to get drunk again. Now a lubber, under such circumstances, would readily have promised, whether he meant to perform or not ; but Dick was a bold and an honourable seaman, who scorned to falsify his word. He would listen earnestly to the Captain's harangue, and then shaking his head in a business-like way, he would exclaim, as he began to strip, " Carn't do it, yer honour ; so it's of no manner of use my promising ; and that's all about it." It was in vain that his grog was stopped — Fitton always managed to bowse his jib up by some means or other ; and unfortunately for him, as soon as he had brought the skin of his nose to a taut leech, he generally contrived to throw himself in the way of the officers, for the avowed purpose of convincing them that he was perfectly sober. The efforts of a man in a state of ebriety to imitate intoxication are frequently extremely ludicrous; but certainly nothing in life is so eminently ridiculous as a drunken man fancying himself the very perfection of sobriety : and this was the case with Dick ; for though when recovered from his potations he was fully sensible that he had been " tosticated," yet, whilst in a state of elevation, no persuasions in the world could induce him to believe that he was not as sober and as precise as a bishop in his pulpit — in fact, at these times he claimed to be " inspired;" and had there been any penalty attached to the crime of mutilating the king's English, Dick would have been mulcted of a fortune, for during his moments of inspiration, oh ! how marvellously did he cut and mangle his words, and then splicing the disjointed JOLLY BOAT. 53 syllables together again, in the most monstrous and unnatural manner, he might have readily passed for a high Dutchman, or a low Dutch- man, or any other barbarian. Such was Dick Fitton; but there was one occasion in which he escaped punishment for the indulgence of his easily besetting sin. We were cruizing off the south-west coast of France, between L' Orient and Noinnoutier, to pick up the coasting trade and watch the French fleet, and not unfrequently we anchored within the Isle of Hedic, a small island about three leagues from Belleisle, and forming, with Houat and the Taigneuse rocks, an admirable breakwater for Quiberon Bay. Its distance from the French coast and Belleisle rendered it a sort of neutral ground, or rather belonging to the party that held it for the time being. There were strict orders, however, that no one belonging to the British ships was to be ashore beyond sunset; for it was nothing uncommon for the French row-boats, from Belleisle or Quiberon, to pull to the back of the island after dark, and gain what information could be obtained from the inhabitants — of course, any stragglers they could pick up ■were made prisoners. The village was poor, but still — notwithstanding the threats that had been held out for selling it, — eau de vie, and that real good Nantes, too, was abundant ; and, as a very natural consequence, the seamen indulged to excess at every sly opportunity. Now, it so happened that a party (of which Dick was one) was employed on shore for some particular purpose — I forget what — and Fitton, a short time previous to embarkation, had attained that exalted pre-eminence of intellect which induced him to thrust his officious exertions right under the immediate cognizance of the lieutenant commanding, who insisted on knowing from whom, and from whence, he had obtained the liquor. Dick unhesitatingly declared his perfect sobriety, that " he was not in the least distosticated ; " and as a proof, whilst staggering along to show how straight he could walk, nearly knocked over one of his ship- mates, whom he charged with trying to trip him up. He was instantly ordered down to the boats ; and as obedience could not be resisted, away went Dick. The sun was just touching the verge of the horizon, when the lieutenant reported his return on board to the Captain, and at the same time announced that Fitton was drunk. "Confound the fellow!" exclaimed the skipper ; " I really do not know what to do with him, he is thoroughly incorrigible ; but there must be example, Sir ; we cannot carry on duty without it. Tell the first lieutenant to clap the drunken rascal both legs in irons, and on no account to suffer him to set his foot on shore again ; though it is but of little consequence, on shore or aboard he will get drunk." The officer delivered his orders to his senior ; the Master-at-arms was sent for, and received instructions to put Dick in the darbies ; but after a diligent search, and an equal diligent inquiry, no Dick was to be found, nor could it be correctly ascertained that he had gone off in any of the boats. The small cutter was promptly despatched to the 54 THE OLD SAILOR'S landing-place, with directions to the midshipman in charge not to go beyond that spot, and after waiting half an hour, if Fitton did not come down, to return on board. The injunctions were strictly complied with, but no Dick made his appearance ; the boat came back, and was hoisted up on the quarter. Notwithstanding Dick's failing, he was greatly esteemed by both officers and men as an excellent seaman, who never shrunk from the performance of a duty, however difficult or dangerous ; and his absence, and probable fate, became the theme of the yarn-spinners for the rest of the evening, till the quarter- watch was called, and the subject was frequently reverted to during the night. It was just as the day began to break on the following morning that, having the watch on deck, I was expressing my regret to my watch- mate for Fitton's loss — as the conjecture prevalent was, that he had fallen overboard and been drowned — when one of the look-outs on the fore-castle shouted, " Sail, ho ! " and taking my glass forward, I ascertained that the stranger was a large boat with three masts standing, but only her foresails hoisted about half way up, and she was running directly in for the anchorage. At first we apprehended that some vessel had been wrecked, and the remnant of the crew were making for the land ; but as the daylight grew stronger and clearer, and the boat closed nearer and nearer, it became evident that she was an enemy's row boat, but not a soul could be seen except the individual who was steering it, and he was rather conspicuous from the immense cocked hat upon his head, and his being closely enveloped in a boat cloak. What to make of it, no one could tell ; the circumstance was duly reported to the Captain, who promptly came on deck, and orders were issued to have all clear at the quarter and stern boats, so as to lower and man them at a moment's warning ; but as the enemy's vessel was coming direct for us, it was deemed advisable to keep all fast, lest any alarm should be excited. However, on she fearlessly came, and a more beautiful model certainly never moved upon the water ; her brass six-pounder shone bright in the early sun-rise, and the muske- toons on her gunwale seemed prepared for action. As for the man in the cocked hat, he steered with the most imperturbable gravity, occasionally addressing some one or other who could not be seen, and it was supposed that the boat's crew were stretched out in secresy in the bottom. Every glass was in requisition, and the field of each was directed at that cold-blooded Frenchman who was steering right down upon us, apparently with the utmost concern. "He takes the frigate for a national craft," said one of the lieutenants , " shall we just show him the French ensign, Sir ?" " No ; no," answered the captain ; " keep all snug ; he cannot escape us now, as he is well within the range of the guns, and will soon be alongside." In a few minutes she was near enough to be hailed, but still not a word passed ; onward came the boat with that enormous cocked JOLLY BOAT. 55 hat in the stem sheets, and now we could plainly discern the tri- coloured cockade ; onward she came till a little open on our larboard bow, when down went her foresail, and she rounded to. " Boat a-hoy ! " shouted the sentry on the larboard gangway, and was promptly answered, " No, no." " He's English, Sir," exclaimed a boatswain's mate from the forecastle, as the craft came gradually dropping down. " Halloo ! " he bellowed out, " What boat's that — who are you ?" There was deep silence for a moment, and then it was broken by the steersman answering, " Now, Lord love your silly head, Jem, never to know an ould messmate;" it was Dick Fitton — he caught sight of the skipper standing at the gangway, and instantly the cocked hat was removed, as he uttered, " She's our own, yer honour ; I took her myself." A burst of laughter followed this announcement, in which the Captain heartily joined. "And where are your prisoners?" demanded the latter. " Rousez woo, Johnny," shouted Fitton, pointing a pistol towards the boat's bows ; and two Frenchmen — one with his head bound up in a bloody handkerchief — immediately showed themselves. " Ive ex- pended all the rest on 'em ashore, your honour," continued Dick; 'and if so be as you'll send the boats, you may soon pick 'em up." The small cutter was again lowered, and a party of seamen was despatched to the prize, to strike her masts and bring her alongside ; but Fitton was directed to return to the frigate, which he readily did, and, on reaching the quarter deck, it was impossible to help laughing at the curious figure he cut. A large blue cloak, lined with scarlet, enveloped his person ; and round the waist was belted a heavy hanger, a brace of pistols, and a bayonet — the cocked hat, as a matter of respect to the skipper, was removed from his head and carried under his left arm ; and Dick's comical face, half serious, half humorous, as he gave an extra twist to his quid, and put his right hand to his forelock, sailor fashion, was droll enough ; and there he stood, with his two prisoners, before his Commander, who found it very difficult to preserve a steady countenance. " Mr. Anson reported you drunk last night," said the Captain ; " what have you to say for yourself." " Look at the prize, yer honour," answered Dick, with appropriate assurance ; " does Mr. Anson think that a man in a state of distostica- tion could go for to capture an enemy's craft ?" " But where was you last night, when the shore party returned on board ?" demanded the Captain. " In course, yer honour, I was cruising," returned Dick ; " for someut run in my head " " Aye, I believe there was something running in your head ; why you are not altogether sober now," exclaimed the skipper, " you have broken the orders, sir, you have " " Taken a prize, yer honour," said Dick, finishing the Captain's sentence, and looking up archly in his face ; " and there's the rest of the prisoner's ashore, if nobody aint never gone to take 'em off." 56 THE OLD SAILOR'S "Man the boats, Mr. Spicer," shouted the Captain to the first lieutenant ; and the boats were speedily manned and pulling for the shore, with Dick, in his new costume, acting as guide. The island was searched, and a French lieutenant, with twenty-one men, were taken and carried on board the frigate. Dick was called upon to state the manner in which he had got possession of the enemy's vessel, and this he did apparently to the satisfaction of the Captain ; but I prefer giving the tale as he narrated it to his messmates in their berth, over his afternoon grog; and as he had contrived to muster an extra bottle of rum, the two Frenchmen he had captured were generously invited to share it with them. " Come, Johnny, bring yer onspressibles to an anchor, will you," said Dick to his French guests ; " there, draw a chair, and sit down upon the shot-case, my hearty. Why, never say die ! I honours yer bravery, for you behaved like men, that's Frenchmen I means ; and it aint many a single hand as would have captured a couple o' sich smart looking lads as you two." The unfortunate prisoners did not understand one word that was uttered ; but the motion of the hand, directing them to sit down, was comprehended and complied with, and they responded, " liemercie, remercie," the first syllable much abbreviated in utterance. "Well, and I did show you mercy," said Fitton, "and I means to show you mercy ; why, I'm bless'd, Jem," addressing the boatswain's mate, " if they aint like them black fellows, who think when the grub is sarved out, that they're going to be fattened for the cook's coppers ; what the blue blazes do they cry out for mercy for now, I should like to know ? howsomever, never mind, they'll have no mercy on the beef, I'll take my davy. Come, heave ahead, mountseer, munjey, munjey." The Frenchmen seemed pleased with the invitation, for bad as Dick's French was, they understood it ; and in the politest manner possible repeated the former expression, " Remercie, remercie, inon ami." " Mercy, mercy, mongamee, now what the deuce do they mean by that, Jem ?" asked the puzzled seaman of his messmate. " Well, I'm bio wed but they beat my laming into splinters ; why, last night when I fetches one on 'em a click o' the head as sent him under the thorts, and called to the other to strike, they both sings out as loud as they could bawl, ' Noo run dong, noo run dong.' " " Oui mon ami, nous rendons," said one of the prisoners, shrugging up his shoulders. " Vous parlez bien, Frangois ?" " Parley bang Franchay, Johnny ?" uttered Dick. " Well, I'm bless'd, but I thought you'd have know'd better than that arter the click under the ear as you got last night. No, no, Johnny, I doesn't go for to parley much in the regard o' banging on 'em ; my thoughts and my cutlash are always pretty much in the same latitude when I sees the enemy." " I tell you what it is, messmate," said the boatswain's mate, addressing Dick ; " to my thinking, you're on the wrong tack in respect of his meaning ; he says, ' Parley bang, Franchay,' which I take to be, c Up, and tell 'em all about it.' * Parley,' you know, means k speaking Sfaki • - i s 9^ay ^jy-aasz/, jOotu - > JOLLY BOAT. 57 out,' or ' spinning a yarn ;' and ' bang Franchay ' is as easy as ' kiss ray hand.' So, d'ye see, Dick, why jist overhaul the consarn to us ; not as you did to the skipper, in Tom Pepper fashion, to make him think you was sober ; but let's have the right arnest jometry of the thing, for we all on us knows, Dick, that you wur more nor three parts slued. The last time I seed you was when you'd brought up alongside of that pretty little French girl, and was coaxing her for a drop more stuff out of her mother's locker ; and then, messmate, your head sails were all lifting, and another spoke or two of lee helm would have brought you slap aback.'' " I arn't never going for to deny it, ould boy," answered Dick, with a grin ; " though I pitched it into the skipper that I was all cobbler s mentis. Howsomever, it's of no use to keep a false reckoning ; I were groggy, and that's the truth on it. But you know, messmate, I arn't altogether sensible to being so when my jib's taut up ; and in course when the leftenant called me a drunken son of a female dog, and ordered me down to the boat, why, I thought I'd just conwince him of his oncapableness of judging whether a man was sober or not; and so I detarmined to study a bit of the jography of the island, by taking a cruise to myself, which no man as was drunk could possibly do, seeing as he'd get bothered in regard o' shaping a proper course. Well, shipmates, I hauls my tacks aboard, and makes a long reach amongst rocky ground, and a head swell as kept me pitching bows under, till I could hardly carry my canvass ; and there I was heaving and setting like a Dutch schuyt off the Taxel, and rolling gunnels under, like a deep Injeeman running down from the Cape to Saint Helena. At last, my compass card spun round in the most onnatural way, till it made me dizzy ; and I'm bless'd if I didnt see a craft right ahead of me, as loomed in the haze like one of your 'long-shore Davy Jonesesis, ownly the horns got to dancing and bobbing about in a muzzy tistical kind of a way, as if there had been three or four couple on 'em twisting, and turning, and capering in ever so many double hornpipes, and up to all sorts of antics; and, ' Yo hoy!' I sings out, * who the blazes are you ? ' for I thought it best to hail him civilly at first, though I know'd precious well what the ugly beggar was. But the undeckerous chap made me no answer, ownly blow'd out a cloud of smoke, like the fogo from a thirty-two pounder ; and then there was a report, and a someut a good deal like the hissing of a shot from his muzzle, as warn't one muzzle eather, but seemed, to my idea of the thing, to be three or four muzzles all a keeping company in their motions with the owld fellow's head-bumkins ; and, ' Hallo, your reverence ! ' shouts I, as I always thinks it properest to fillycumbother them sort of varmint with hand-over-hand politeness whensomever I falls in with them, which has been pretty often in the course of my cruizing. * Hallo, your reverence ! ' says I, ' what does your holiness want with a poor tar, as is belly gojimcrackt in this here no man's land sort of a place, as belongs never to nobody ; nighther English, nor French, nor Dutch, though it arnt onpossible but your honour may have some call to it by your being here ? Howsomever, he never answered 8 58 THE OLD SAILOR'S my bail, and I did'nt like his oncontemptible silence; so, 'Mayhap/ says I, ' my lord, you may think as I'm groggy ; but, love your heart, Dick's more soberer than twenty judges ; I don't deny as I'm a little wizziwazzy-flumatical, but that's in regard of the fog, as is so thick that it wont let me keep a strait course — .' And here, shipmates, the wagabon stopp'd my discourse by discharging another bow chaser, the smoke of it coming like hot steam right in my face. ' A miss is as good as a mile,' says I ; ' and as your worship don't never seem to be overfond of my sociability, why, I'll just wear round, and make sail out of this. Heaven bless your handsome phiz,' says I, as I bore up, when I'm blow'd if the onconscionable owld rip didn't clap his helm a-weather arter me, and, pitching his head-rails right slap into my starn gallery, gives me a reglar hoist aloft till I'd lost my plumpindicklar, and capsized horrumzontally all along the ground ; and there I caulk'd, as it were, onsensible, till my thoughts began to come to me once more, and something seemed to whisper in my ear, ' Have a slap at him again, Dick, for rampajerous as he's behaved to you, the blaggard's a coward at heart' — ' Is he ?' says I ; ' then here goes.' Not as I was in any way frightened afore, if so be as he'd clapp'd me alongside, and fought fairly; but, as I towld you, messmates, he raked me onawares ; and so up I jumps, and there the scamp was, backing and filling, and all ready to run aboard of me. And now I could see him plain enough, with a great red face, like the cook's galley fire, and a nose like a joint of meat down afore it a roasting — eyes that would have sarved for mess platters, and a mouth like a bisket-baker's oven. My precious wig ! often as I'd seen him, I never saw him such a monstrous sight in my life ; and there was his bumkins, with a huge Spanish cock'd hat upon each one of 'em ; and he was rigged out in flame-color'd togs, though it was easy enough to diskiver his onprincipled shanks and cloven hoofs, as it was bootless to try and hide from sight ; he had a tormentor in each hand, and there was his outrigger abaft swagging about like the spanker-boom in a calm ; and he looked at me just the same as a flash of lightning. Well, shipmates. I squares at him. and he comes on at me ; and ' Ware hawse, you lubber,' shouts I, as I gives it him right and left, and every biow fizzed and sparkled, and brought out a smell of brimstone. All at once he raised his tormentors, and, sticking 'em into my indescribabilities, he flings me — oh, I can't tell you the distance ; but down I came again, shaking every timber in my frame ; and seeing as it was no use trying to man-handle the enemy, I buttons up my eyelids, and, as I had two watches out the night afore, I made up my mind to bottle off a little sleep. So, messmates, I composes myself accordingly, and snoozes away like a parish clerk in sarmon time, till I'd laid in a goodish stock, and then I rouses out, and looks round me, but seed nothing but a poor harmless cow, with her calf alongside of her, nibbling the grass, and I wondered how the deuce I got there : but arter a little while I bethinks myself of all about it, and not knowing how many bells it was, it struck me mayhap the cutter arnt shoved off, and so here goes off for the landing place ; so I hauls my wind, steering rather wild at first, but getting to a small JOLLY BOAT. 59 helm as I made more sail, but not a bit of a landing place could I diskiver, and it was too dark to make out the frigate. But still, messmates, I war'nt a going to give in ; so I sarcumpolegates the island, and there I seed a boat lying close in shore ; And ' it's all right now,' says my thoughts to myself; * there's the cutter just ready to shove off, so quietly stow yourself away in the bows, Dick, and that'll save the officer the trouble of axing questions.' So, accordingly, messmates, I shapes my course towards her, and as I went permiscuously along, my foot strikes agin summet comical, and so I picks it up, and what should it be but a cutlash ; ' Halloo,' says I, under my breath, for I did'nt want to let them know I was so close aboard of 'em. ' Halloo, but they're making pretty ducks and drakes of the gunner's stores,' says I ; but, when I came to handle it Jem, it was soon made wisibly onparent, dark as it was, that it did not belong to the frigate ; so I was put to a nonplush as to what nation it hailed for. But I war'nt long in the doldrums, messmates, for I hears a gabbling in an outlandish lingo on board the boat that made me take an amagraphy of her build and rig — so I stretches myself out horrumzontally again, and keeps a sharp look out, crawling along every now and then like an oyster laming to run alone, till I'd got close under the bows; and then Jem, it was as plain to me as is the nose on Bill's face ; and ' Yo-hoy ! ' says I to myself, ' its Johnny Cropoh,' says I ; ' and now to walk the bally- grimauffery of the thing ! ' " — One of the Frenchmen shrugged his shoulders ; " Ha, you know it's all true, Johnny." " Pardonnez moi, mon ami," returned the prisoner, whose head was bound up, " Je ne comprends pas les Anglais," — he raised his pannikin of grog — " mais boire a la ronde." " Round Johnny — ay boy, but we'd two or three rounds afore I'd done with you," said Dick, with a half laugh ; " and as for boring all round, why I didn't disactly know how many there was on you ; for, to my thinking, what with the grog, and what with Davy Jones, and what with the heat of the attack, there appeared to my hoptical wision to be four or five, though when I corned to close quarters, there warn't never no more nor you two. But I'm saying Johnny, being dubersome as to the number you mustered, why I did bore all round, as you call it, for there's no telling what a stray shot may do in the heat of action. Now messmates, the row boat laid just as this here fashion — supposing this bread-bay was a rock, with one side on it plumpendicklar — shove that biskit out a little more, Jem, and flatten in, my boy. Well this bread-bay is the rock running out into the water, and this here bottle — see as the bung's tight, Jem — this here bottle's the row boat — all w r ell and good." " Now it stands to reason, messmates, if so be as any one on you was up atop o'this here biskit as has got somut like a face on it, why in course you could jump down on to that ere bottle, which I see is half empty " — the men nodded assent to both positions — " Well, just as this here row boat lies alongside the bread-bag — no, no, I don't mean that — ■ it's just as this here bottle lies close to and under the rock — oh ! bother, I don't mean that either ; but I'm saying, shipmates, it's just as this 60 THE OLD SAILOR'S here bottle lies alongside o' the bread-bag that the row boat laid close aboard of the rock ; and thinks I to myself, if I could get a top o' the bread-bag — -no, I means the rock — why then I should be better able to overhaul em below, and fall foul o' the bottle, that is, I means the row boat, if opportunity should sarve ; so I crawls — ah ! jist the same as that ere weavil's a crawling to a bit o' bread afore it — I crawled and crawled, moving along horrumzontally, and launching ahead withal till I gained my point ; and so I peeps over and twigs the brass gun, and as I thought, three chaps that crouched abaft in the stern sheets — two sitting on the thort, and tother caulking in a boat cloak. Well, messmates, I watches 'em for some time ; and. thinks I to myself, ' If I can but separate 'em into divisions, I might board and capture the weather ones first, and then bear down upon the squadrons to looard ; ' for arter all, shipmates, three to one is somut of odds. So I catches up a piece of broken rock, and pitches it right into the boat's bows, and one o' the Johnnies jumps up, and sings out ' Hooky wee.' " " Non, non mon ami, c'est ne pas ga," exclaimed the Frenchman, who had been attentively listening, and had gleaned from Dick's motions what was describing ; " Je dit, qui vive." "What does he say, Jem?" inquired Fitton ; "I used to know somut about the French lingo at one time ; but to my thinking, messmate, he does not speak it clandexterously ; and that's the reason I don't understand him." " Mayhap so, Dick — mayhap so," responded the boatswain's mate ; *' I arn't much skilled in matters o' that ere kind ; but it's clear enough, Dick, he carn't speak French, English fashion, or else we might savvy somut about it." " All right, my hearty," returned Dick ; " and so I'll go on with my yarn. ' Hookey wee,' or ' kee we,' or somut o' that sort, sings out the Frenchman, as much as to say, ' Catch a weasel asleep ; ' but not nobody never answered, for I stowed myself away all snug again. Presently I sends another shot into her bows, and ' Hookey wee,' sings out the Frenchman again. But this time I hears one of 'em rattling along the thorts ; and thinks I to myself, ' Look, out Dick, they're parting company, stand by to pipe the boarders away ;' and so, messmates, I grips hold o' my cutlash, and I peeps over, and there I seed one right forud, as it may be here away on the cork," pointing to the top of the bottle. " Diable !" exclaimed the embarrassed Frenchman, who appeared to understand most that passed ; " Cette a moi," pointing to himself. " Why, aye, Muster Setter Moore, if that's your name — you was the man as was forud in the eyes of her," said Dick ; " and Johnny here was chock aft, so up I springs and makes a leap aboard ; and ' hookey wee,' says I, as I gives Johnny a click with the cutlash over his cocoa- nut ; but the head was precious thick, and he comes at me like a good un, but I was too quick for him, and it wondered me to think why the fellow under the boat- cloak did'nt turn out to lend him a hand. Howsomever, Setter Moore — as he says his name is — runs aft, only he made a slip bend in his hurry, and came down upon the thorts, but JOLLY BOAT. 61 was soon up again, though not afore I'd sent Johnny down in the run with a splendid illumeneration dancing in his eyes. On comes t'other, and ' Hookey wee,' says I again, as I sent my fist right in his face ; for d'ye mind, Jem, my cutlash broke short off at the haft, and it warn't by no manner o' means fit to trust a fellow's life to ; and back again he went under the thorts, just as Setter Moore roused out to have t'other slap at me, which he did by discharging a pistol, but the ball whistled by without stopping to ax any questions, so I jumps into the starn sheets, lugs the pistol out of Johnny's hands, and gives him a taste of the butt on his sconce that quieted him. ' Hurrah ! ' shouted I, ' Hookey wee for ever. Lay still you lubber, rustay, rustay, or I'll shoot you like a dead dog.' And still enough both on 'em laid. * Well, I'm blessed,' thinks I, ' but she's my own — they've all struck except the chap under the boat cloak, and, mayhap, he's " Hookey wee." * 4 Yo hoy !' says I, giving a kick, ' rouse and bitt ;' but lord love your hearts, shipmates, there warn't never nothing more than this here cocked hat ; and ' Hurrah ! ' says I again, ' Dick's sober enough to take a prize ; where's your " Hookey wee " now ?' — So I gets the end o' the main sheet, and I seized Setter Moore's arms behind him, and claps him by the main-mast, and then I does the same by Johnny, with the mizen halliards abaft ; and, ' Mayhap,' says my thoughts, or my throat, or somut or other, ' mayhap they arn't never got a drop of stuff stowed away in the lockers.' So I overhauls, and works a traverse, and I'm blowed if I didn't find a bottle 'o brandy, and that was the best prize of all. ' Here's a health to " Hookey wee," ' says I, as I claps the muzzle to mine, and takes a lime-burner's twist ; ' and now for turning the hands up to haul out.' But, shipmates, I hadn't never no hands except these here two fistes, so I warn't long in having 'em all upon deck, and then I turns to, to find how she was moored ; well, there was a head-rope forrud, and that I soon roused in, and she'd a grapling and a hawser out astarn, so I claps on like a good un, and the craft seemed to know she'd got into honest company, for she glides out as pretty as a ship-launch, and afore you could say ' Jack Robinson,' I was all afloat, and swinging clear of the shore. Howsomever, it wouldn't do, messmates, to ride there very long ; and as I couldn't weigh the killick, why I just peaks the mizen to keep her to the wind, and then I cuts the cable, and she rounded-to clear of all, and seemed for all the world in her behaviour as if she wanted to make acquaintance with the frigate. Well, shipmates, the tide was in my favour, and I soon made out that she'd drift clear ; so I 'xamines the lashings of my prisoners, makes all fast, and takes a pull at the brandy to ' hookey wee ' atween whiles ; and then I stows myself in the boat-cloak, and takes the cock'd hat for a pillow, and gets a snooze and a nip of brandy alcumternately, and so I goes on till near day-break, when I onlashes Setter Moore, and gets him to lend me a hand to hoist the foresail, and then I gives 'em both a toothful o' stuff, just to keep the cowld out of 'em ; but as soon as I catches sight of the frigate, I gave 'em both their liberty, with only this proviso, that if they started tack or sheet, I'd blow 'em to shivers ; so I wraps myself in the cloak, and claps the G2 THE OLD SAILOR'S cock'd hat over my mast-head, and took my berth at the tiller as big as an admiral, till I brings niy prize alongside ; and thinks I, here's a con- vincecating argyment, that Dick Fitton. gunner's mate of his Majesty's ship the Toebiter, wasn't drunk last night. There, messmates, that's all about it; and so here's another tot o' grog to ' Hookey wee.' " The facts were pretty much as Dick had related them : Davy Jones was the old cow defending her calf; the row boat had come to the back of the island, the Lieutenant and his men had crossed over to the houses to gain information as to our movements, two boat keepers had been left in the boat, whom Dick had captured in his prize, which afterwards became of the utmost service to us. British Seamen. — When the "Golden" Hermione, in the Seven Years' War, took the Spanish galleon, as the sailors call her, the foremast- men shared to the tune of five hundred pounds a piece, a sum which, of course, they concluded could never be expended in the common routine of domestic life. In order to conquer this difficulty, they devised many ingenious methods, such as filling a pan with watches from each fob, and frying them over the galley-fire ; subscribing a sum of money to gild the ship's head and carved work ; and it was moreover resolved, that every man on board should wear a gold-laced hat, and every cocoa-nut was, with all convenient speed, provided with a gold-laced cocked hat, save one — this unhappy wight presented himself to his shipmates with a silver-laced hat. This would not do — the ship was disgraced by such d — d stinginess ! " Let's ask the first ^/tenant not to let him come on board." The supposed culprit begged a hearing — Jack loves fair play ; silence was obtained, and the delinquent thus pleaded his cause : — " There wasn't a gold-laced hat in the town, so I was forced to take this here ; but I made the fellow take the money for a gold-lacer all the same." On these last words reaching the ears of his comrades, he was received on board with a universal greeting. In that disgraceful affair off Toulon, in 1744, the old-fashioned maxim of keeping the ships in line of battle was obstinately adhered to. Captain Hawke, in the Berwick, of sixty-four guns, beheld with great indignation this cruel wrong to his country, and seeing no prospect of a general action, boldly, and in defiance of orders, quitted his station, and selected the Poder, a Spanish ship of equal force, as his adversary. After a very smart engagement of half-an-hour, he took her, and had possession. She was retaken, owing to the mismanagement of the two English admirals, but Hawke's honour was not retaken in her. After the memorable court-martial had decided on the merit of the admirals, a flag promotion took place, in which the name of Captain Hawke was passed over. His majesty, King George, demanded of his minister why that officer's name was omitted ? The reply was, that, on the late trial, it appeared that Captain Hawke had disobeyed orders by quitting the line to fight the Poder. " What !" said the indignant monarch, " disgrace a man for fighting too much ! ! ! he shall be my admiral ;" and the royal justice and discernment were rewarded by the defeat of Conflans,in 1 759. It is said that his majesty, on hearing the news, pulled off his wig, and kicked it about the palace of Kensington for joy, congratulating himself on having been the instrument of so much good fortune to his country. JOLLY BOAT, 63 YARNS FOE ALL HANDS. BY THE OLD SAILOR. THE ELECTIONEERING LIEUTENANT. " Rush to the poll, and come to the scratch." " Hurrah for Bradby ! " shouted a Radical elector of a borough upon the sea coast in the West of England. " Bradby and universal suff'ring for ever — hurrah!" " No Bradby ! — no Bradby ! — Hammer and Nailer — Church and State, and no surrender ! " vociferated a Tory, with a voice that evidenced most "powerful lungs. " Every man reform hisself, and Heaven reform us all ; that's my ticket — Hurrah for Hammer and Nailer." Reader, it was the period of a general election, when the independent voters of the United Kingdom sold their franchise to the highest bidders. The beautiful little town of , usually quiet and peaceable at other times, was always stirred out of its calm propriety when these events took place ; for then Mr. Mayor became a real gentleman of self-satisfied importance, and forsaking his candle, grocery, and treacle warehouse, donned his best robes, and associated with men of high degree ; heading the free table at dinner-time, and at public (house) meetings as Chairman, and acting as fugleman to regulate the cheers of the company after his own toasts, or at the proper moment, when any thing peculiarly laudable or smart had been uttered by the speakers. The official on the present occasion was a grocer and a tallow- chandler, remarkably sweet upon himself, and constantly striving to throw a light upon numerous dark subjects that puzzled wiser heads than ever he possessed. On assuming the Mayoralty, he was con- sidered to belong to the only party that had ever been recognized in the borough — the Tory ; and through his hands, or his agency, the noble-minded electors received each a guinea in real gold, for return- ing the two disinterested Candidates to a Ministerial Parliament. The name of the little great man was Richard Sitt, but more commonly known amongst his fellow townsmen as Diek Sitt; whilst the wags from the Metropolis, who came down to solicit the suffrages of the constituency, alluding to his giving the " hip, hip, hip," after the toasts, and coupling with it his propensity to talk very largely of himself, nicknamed him "Ipse Dixit" — certainly a monstrous liberty to take with a functionary of his exalted station ; especially as the lower orders, who had frequently, on such occasions, seen his beloved Worship occupy more room in the street than ought to have sufficed 64 THE OLD SAILOR'S for three ordinary men, made a slight addition to the appellation, by clapping a T before all, which teased him amazingly, as he heard himself called "Tipsy Dick Sitt;" proving that there were other T (ea) Dealers in opposition to his wishes. Still Ipse Dixit (as I shall call him) was much esteemed by his cotemporaries, and though always studying the main-chance, he seldom was harsh to the poor debtor who OAved him money ; in fact, this was part of his boast, when lauding his own good deeds ; sometimes, too, he was generous to the unfortunate, and this raised him in the estimation of the working classes, who were not aware that the sitting Members reimbursed the cash which he so humanely expended. Now it came to pass that, several months previous to the election, a professional gentleman, one Mr. Seemibref — half solicitor, half musician, and whole practitioner — took up his abode iu a dwelling that was considered to be about the best in the town ; where he came from, was but little known, and after the first nine days' wonder, was less cared for ; he contrived to ingratiate himself with the principal families — gave handsome dinner parties to the men, and feted the ladies with tea-drinkings, private concerts, select dancings, and four- handed whist. Ipse Dixit, however, came in for the greatest share of his attentions, while Mrs. Seemibref equally devoted herself to the Mayoress and her fine progeny, and the orders — ready-money orders too — for goods poured in thicker and faster, till it became a matter of astonishment to Ipse where and how all the articles supplied could be consumed. Matters had thus progressed when it was observed that Mr. Mayor and the lawyer were frequently in close consultation together, and by-and-by four or five other influential inhabitants were admitted to the conferences. A hundred conjectures were started relative to the nature and object of these meetings, all equally devoid of foundation, in fact, and each diametrically opposed to each other ; but so discreet did the coterie manage their affairs, that not a word indicative of the real cause transpired. The romantic and picturesque harbour, that ranged its waters close to the very streets of the town, was often visited by a royal cruiser in the shape of a large man-of-war cutter, named on the Navy List "The Sprightly," and standing 1273 in the Signal Book of Ships' numbers. She was well manned, and successful in her captures from the enemy, so that the officers and crew had generally plenty of money to dispose of, causing no contemptible speculation and rivalry among the landlords and tradesmen of the port. The Com- mander of the cutter, Lieutenant Backslap (that is not exactly the way his name was spelt in his commission), though upwards of fifty years of age, had all the mirth, liveliness, and mischief of an over- grown boy tired of school — he was rather deformed and bent in the body, which he declared was occasioned by getting warped, through intense heat, in the West Iudies — a wound in the hip joint had lamed him; so that he bobbed up and down, and went hump, jump, like a barrow with a broken wheel ; besides, he was hard-featured JOLLY EOAT. *J5 in countenance, and one of his eyes had a regular ban tarn -cot k. Lieutenant Backslap, though diminutive in stature, was nevertheless every inch a seaman — uniting kindness of heart to a rigid sense of duty, as many of the unfortunate smugglers on the coast who fell into his hands could amply testify — and if the truth must be spoken, the free constituency, as well as the never-possessed-of-a-vote men of the borough town of , were extensively addicted to the ille- gal practice of endeavouring on all occasions to defraud the revenue ; so that numerous opportunities had occurred in which the Com- mander of the cutter, whilst fulfilling his obligations as an officer, also called to remembrance the weaknesses and frailties of human nature, and never forgot the humanity which should at all times characterize the man. As a rule of consequence, the contraband dealers wished him further at the very moment that he was invited to their tables; and it must be remarked, that Ipse Dixit, being largely engaged in this species ®f traffic, took especial good care to keep on the most friendly terms with Lieutenant Backslap, who mostly honoured him with a long visit whenever his Majesty's cutter, 1273, was re-fitting in the harbour. Mr. Seemibref, very soon after domiciling himself in his handsome mansion, sent his especial greet- ings to the lieutenant, requesting the honour of his company, when- ever it suited his convenience to favour him with a call. Backslap was fond of good living and pleasant society ; he paid repeated visits, an intimacy grew up between the two, the lawyer's courtesy was returned by the lieutenant on board his cutter, and a mutual desire to gratify, strengthened the bond of friendship. A few weeks previous to the expected general election, Mr. Seemi- bref invited the gallant seaman to an entertainment that was more than ordinarily sumptuous — the viands were delicious, the wines superb, and Captain (as he was styled by courtesy) Backslap enjoyed himself apparently to his heart's content — he not only plied his host with repeated challenges to exchange salutations in the drinking way, which, in order to conciliate esteem, were as often accepted, till Mr. Seemibref could scarcely see any thing; but so well, also, did he animate the tongue of Ipse Dixit (who was of the party) with choice particular old port, that the " Worshipful" could not keep it still ; and in a paroxysm of extreme mental exaltation, he revealed the closely-treasured secrets of the conspirators, among whom he looked at himself in the glass as chief. In the early stage of this confidential communication, Backslap was thrown slap-aback with surprise ; but Mr. Mayor, being somewhat oblivious to things in general, did not perceive that the cock in the lieutenant's eye plainly showed that he had a crow to pull with him for the announcement. " My wor- worthy and ex-lent frie -friend," stammered the egregious Tipsy Dixit, shaking his well-figged head, and speaking thick, with an occasional hickup that electrified his frame, 4k You — yes — you — shall — kno — know all " — he laid his hand on the officers arm. " I Toe — hacko — respect you ; indeed I — hacko — tell you true ; aud I— > 1 will — hickup — inform you of our — our plans." 9 66 THE OLD SAILOE'S The lieutenant's tongue answered not a word, but the cock in his eye expressed, as well as cock could possibly express, " Doodle do ; " and the Right Worshipful would have gone on with his expose, but for his colleague, Seemibref, coming to the rescue, and stopping the tete-a-tete disclosures ; enough, however, had been heard by the cut- ter's commander to put him on the qui vive, and induce him on the following day to seek a private interview with the lawyer. Seemibref, when sober, was not Seemibref when intoxicated — in the latter case, he resembled his violin well screwed up, so that any beau in company might play upon him — the former produced a state of relaxation that mingled the flats among the sharps, and he was down as a door nail. He saw, however, it was not only in vain, but also might prove hazardous were he to attempt to deceive Backslap, whose eye rolled round as nimbly as a cork-screw with a patent spring, as if resolutely determined to tap the demi-john containing the unrec- tified spirit of Seemibref s thoughts. The lawyer would gladly have escaped from the ordeal of the lieutenant's visual organ, which seemed to be turned by an unseen handle ; but it was utterly impos- sible, and he was therefore compelled, much against his inclination, to unfold a tale that was attached to the head of his supposed offence ; and as he hoped to obtain tie for tie, Backslap was soon made acquainted with every particular. Seemibref Mas, in fact, a solicitor of sharp practice, engaged by a certain party to get up an opposition in favour of Radical principles, so as to take the Tory candidates by surprise at the next general election, and, if practicable, to bring in a Radical Member, to neu- tralise the votes of his colleague in Parliament, as well also to strengthen the cause which was then gaining ground. He had been, plentifully supplied with money, and so well had his schemes been arranged, that not only had Ipse- Dixit, but also several others, become converts to his counsel, and pledged themselves to use their best exertions to promote the interests of the Honourable Mr. Bradby, son of Lord Viscount Tintacks [the owner and proprietor of one or two rich mines in the neighbourhood], the menent he announced himself as a Candidate; and without further postponement, " posted the pony," or in other words, " forked out the blunt," which means " dropping the tin,' or better explained as "tipping the reg"lars." Nothing was concealed from the lieutenant ; as the lawyer thought, by the exercise of candour, now the thing was known, to gain a friend on Lis side ; and if failing in that, at all events to secure an honourable and fair-dealing opponent. Backslap was an old and brave officer, who had served his King and country from childhood ; and though, in his present command, he had amassed ample means to have retired into comfort ashore, yet, at intervals, he keenly felt the injustice he had endured, by being deprived of promotion, whilst witnessing many a youngster raised to the rank of Post Captain, who were not born when he received his first appointment as Lieutenant, after nine or ten years of active employment. Seemibref was aware of this feeling, which had been undisguised by the veteran officer, and JOLLY BOAT. 67 he now sought to turn it to his own advantage, by promising that, should the Whigs obtain power, no exertions should be spared to obtain for him the coveted distinction. The Sprightly's commander at first appeared to be insulted by the proposition that was made to him ; but after some special pleading from the limb of the law, doubts, apprehensions, and angry emotions crowded upon him ; he spoke warmly and sharply of the neglect he had suffered, and eventually promised to visit Seeinibref at the earliest convenient opportunity after he had got his vessel to sea, which he meant to do that very afternoon, and run over to the coast of France to deliberate on the course he should pursue : and so he took his leave. Further concealment was now considered not only impossible, but also impolitic ; the lawyer despatched an express to the Honour- able Mr. Bradby, in London, briefly stating what had transpired, and requesting his immediate presence to canvass the electors. Mr. Bradby lost not an instant in answering the summons ; his travelling chariot was ordered, and away he drove, as fast as four hack horses could whirl him along, eager to be the foremost in the field, and thus gain an advantageous start a-head of his opponents. In the meantime, whilst the Radical Candidate was posting him down, Seemibref was posting him up in large bills and placards in every part of the town, and the secret conclave now openly avowing themselves, Mr. Bradby's Committee, with little Ipse Dixit as their Chairman, were strenuously endeavouring to arrange a grand entre" for their man ; public-houses were opened, drinking commenced, and was carried briskly on ; preparations made for canvassing ; little Ipse was glorious till the evening came that was to introduce the new Candidate to their notice ; a numerous cavalcade, preceded by the Committee and five or six musicians, with clarionets and fiddles, were waiting at the turnpike gate to give the hearty welcome ; for the lawyer and his friends had industriously circulated a report, that Mr. Bradby would bring with him a thousand pounds, to be disposed of amongst his supporters. Twilight was growing into darker shade, when a handsome carriage, with four greys, drove up to the gate, and was received with loud cheers from the assembled throng ; not an instant was lost in removing the horses, ropes were promptly attached to the vehicle, and, without the delay of a minute, the multitude tailed on, and with sturdy lungs vociferating, " Hurrah! Bradby for ever!" they dragged the carriage to the piincipal inn. The Mayor had considered it most consistent with the dignity of his official capacity not to join the procession ; and Mr. Seemibref, the legal adviser, had also remained away, as he wished to make the demonstration appear to be perfectly voluntary on the part of the electors, although he was well aware that few possessing the franchise were present, and even they, with the rest, were induced by treating and payment to make a display. Little Ipse and the lawyer waited at the inn in anxious expectation, and highly delighted were they when the shouts came swelling upon the breeze ; and as they ap- proached, first of all. the Brad — and then the hj — were distinctly 68 THE OLD SAILOR S heard. Both the gentlemen stood on the summit of the steps as the carriage was dragged rapidly along the street, but when it pleased the populace to stop at the principal entrance to the inn, they de- scended the steps, hurried to the door of the vehicle, which was promptly thrown open, and out came — not the eagerly-looked-fcr Honourable Mr. Bradby — but the then two sitting Tory Members, Colonel Hammer and Sir James Nailer, who were both well known to the musical lawyer, whose mortification, consternation, and dismay, may be more easily conjectured than described — he was dumb with sudden surprise and anger ; whilst poor little Ipse, feeling the awkwardness of his position, slunk off like a detected fox, with his tail between his legs. The populace, however, were some time before they were aware of the exact state of the case, for they still shouted " Bradby for ever!" which in a few minutes died away, as the truth was revealed to them, and kt Hurrah for Hammer and Nailer ! " immediately succeeded. The Members bowed and bowed in acknowledgment of the salutation, and Seemibref, having recovered the use of his tongue, stammered forth what he meant to be a polite reception, but which was disregarded by the fresh arrivals, who at once entered the house, and taking time by the firelock, delivered short addresses from the up-stairs bay- window, whilst the circumvented lawyer hastened to the Committee- room, where he was soon joined by two or three who adhered to him, and entered into consultation as to what was best to be done in the emergency. A strong suspicion arose that some one had betrayed them, but they were undecided who to fix upon as the traitor, and all were cautious in mentioning names. Whilst thus deliberating, another carriage, unattended and ungreeted, drove up to the inn, and Mr. Bradby alighted from it without hearing one exclamation of welcome. He joined his Committee, where the necessary informa- tion was imparted to him, and he resolved to commence his canvass on the ensuing morning — a resolution that had already been taken by the sitting Members. Lieutenant Backslap redeemed his promise ; he waited on the lawyer, and to the great surprise and delight of the latter, the officer joined hand and heart to advance the interest of the Honourable Mr. Bradby. An introduction took place ; such an ally as the veteran seaman was a most valuable acquisition, and everything bade fair to favour the Radical Candidate. Of course, Colonel Hammer and Sir James Nailer felt sore at what they conceived to be the lieutenant's indecorous conduct, and not only in their speeches did they express themselves warmly on the subject, but intimation was held out to the veteran that a report of his proceedings would be forwarded to the Admiralty. Nothing daunted, however, the bold tar persevered, and joined hand and glove with Ipse Dixit in behalf of Radicalism. But we must now come to the period at which we set out in the opening of the narrative — viz. the day before going to the poll, when almost every heart in the town was intoxicated with either excitement or liquor, and shouting and rioting prevailed ; the Coninrittee-iooins JOLLY BOAT. 69 were attacked for the purpose of stealing the books, party spirits ran down, and party strife got up to its most elevated pitch, which was not diminished by a portion of the cutter's crew being allowed liberty on shore. There was, in fact, no safety for Committee-men ; and the lieutenant advised that, as his cutter was riding at anchor just at the entrance of the harbour, the Radical Committee should sit on board of her, and finish the preparation of the lists. The advice was followed. Ipse Dixit and his compeeis, glad to get clear of personal danger, readily embarked ; Backslap's cabin was nearly filled with them ; wine, and punch, and grog, were plentifully supplied; drinking and business became jumbled together; toast succeeded to toast, and all went on as meny as a marriage festival till evening, when one of the party going on deck, rushed below again, consternation fixed upon his visage as he declared that " the cutter was many miles away from the land, and they could no longer see the harbour." As a congregation rush out of church on an alarm of fire, so did Ipse Dixit and the Committee-men run to the companion-ladder, which they completely blocked up in their efforts to ascend, each one pulling down the other to gain the start. At length, after some desperate struggling, in which pugnacity often displayed itself, the half-drunken Mayor and his colleagues reached the deck to behold their worst fears realised; for the cutter was now getting under canvass, and standing out to sea, and the blackness of the heavens proclaimed the approach of a gale of wind. A sudden squall from the horrified electioneerers was responded to by the song of the seamen sweating up the jib ; but there was no annihilating time and space, and though Lieutenant Backslap expressed deep regret at the state of the weather compelling him to slip from his cable, and drift from the shore, yet it was any thing but satisfactory to the poor entrapped voters ; and though promises were made that, should the breeze permit, they would be landed early in the morning, still the chances (as the lieutenant well knew) were against them ; and with sea-sickness coming on, what might they not endure in the interval. In less than an hour, the gale burst forth with much fury, and continued to blow with all its might for three successive days, to the dreadful distress and discomfiture of Ipse Dixit and his companions. On the fourth day, the cutter's commander announced that they were off Dover, and in consequence of having discovered a large hole in the vessel's main-hatchway, he should be obliged, in order to save their lives, to run for the river Thames. Any spot on terra fir ma was desirable to the unfortunates, who, sick at heart, were stowed away in spare sails on the cabin deck ; but at daylight on the morning of the sixth day, they found the vessel perfectly quiescent, and hastening up the companion, beheld — the Tower of Loudon. Backslap waited on the First Lord of the Admiralty, and reported his arrival with the precious freight. Here he learned that the ©Section had been decided in favour of Hammer and Nailer — Bradby having declined the contest as soon as he had lost his Committee, who 70 THE OLD SAILOR'S returned home by land. Actions were brought against the lieutenant, who gained verdicts in his favour, it having been clearly proved that no seaman would have rode at anchor upon a lee shore in threatening weather. Who bore the expenses, it is not for me to say ; Backslap got his next step, and Ipse Dixit swore that he would never trust to man again. TUKBBIDGE WELLS ELECTION, AND CAPTAIN C. " Mine honour was not yielded, but conquered merely." Shakespeare. The story of the Electioneering Lieutenant has recalled to my recol- lection a humorous circumstance that occurred some twenty years ago — having somewhat of a similar origin. It happened at Tunbridge Wells, when I was on a visit to an old friend at that place, who had gone down to drink from the celebrated mineral springs, that at one time obtained great celebrity for their medicinal virtues. For my own part, I never could fancy the liquid in its cold state — it tasted too much like Thames water that had been stowed away six years in a rum cask, down in a ship's hold, and that, too, in a hot climate. It might be compared with streams from other sources, but that which I have named is, in my opinion, the nearest to the truth. Many a withered, orange-coloured phiz have I seen at the fountain, and many a blooming cheek, fresh as a May-day morning, the owners of which were young and beautiful, and whose Mammas were trying to blend the orange and the rose together, because the former possessed that which the latter could not boast of — a golden altar, on which youth and loveliness were to be offered up a sacrifice. What did the anxious parent care for the Nabob's attacks of bile, so that her daughter could rule the roast ? What was the lassitude and decrepitude of the husband, when placed in juxta- position with a handsome, double- bodied carriage, borne upon strong patent springs, and a gallant cousin to act as squire ? Tunbridge Wells was a famous place for squeezing the oranges. But to the water. I hare already said that I never could bear it in its primitive state — it was like swallowing cold iron ; and, perhaps, that may account for many of the drinkers of it, who, when they went down, had but small hopes of being long livers, having walked off at the end of the season as stiff as pokers. We have all a little iron in our compositions ; some more than others. There is bar iron, and cast iron, and wrought iron ; whilst thieves, from their peculiar hardness, incline more to steel. This water was (and I suppose is now) strongly impregnated — no, that is not the term — amalgamated — will that do ? Well, never mind, I know it was mated with iron ; and there John Bull might frequently be found, swallowing ox -hide, or ox-eyed (I am not sure that either is the right way of spelling it), from the spring. I certainly drank it myself, but never alone, nor JOLLY BOAT. 71 cold ; for I took it warm, with the addition of good cognac brandy, lump sugar, and the juice of a tender lemon — the iron then comes into full play, and it makes capital strong punch ; and as I was advised to use the waters, I preferred them with the foregoing qualifications. And now to my tale. My old messmate, Captain E (he was only a commander, but, as a matter of course, Captain by courtesy, and I shall call him so), was a jovial soul, who drank more hollands and whiskey than water, and consequently enjoyed an admirable flow of spirits at all times ; he followed the doctor's advice in mineral- izing himself, but kept his own counsel touching the alcohol. His knowledge of the world, though he had been all over it, extended no farther, if so far, than that cf a child, and the impositions practised upon him were enormous. He was a politician, too — at least he loved to be considered so — but he was wholly innocent of information relative to Reform Bills, Corn Laws, Protection, Catholic Questions, with their long string of et ceteras, and could make out anything in the news- papers except the Parliamentary debates. Still he was a politician, maintaining the inviolability of Church and State, and the invincibility of the Navy and Army. As a natural result from such patriotic sentiments, he was not idle at elections ; and his personal exertions, his loose cash, and a tremendous pair of fists, were unsparingly devoted to the Ministerial candidate. Captain E occupied the elegant first floor over the shop of a hatter, in a rather extensive way of business. The house was well situated, and projecting from the front hung suspended, as a sign t a hat that could not have failed to be much in fashion in those days when " there were giants in the land ;" and there it swung to and fro in the breeze, creaking its iron crank in unison with the whistling of the wind. The Captain was unmarried, and his sole attendant (with the exception of a lad) was an old woman, w r ho in younger life had nursed E in his infancj 7 , and still affectionately styled him her "child," although he had passed his five-and-fortieth year; certes, she almost doated upon him, and he was much attached to her. Whilst at the Wells, an election for the county came on, and E , rigged out in new clothes (which he called his canvass suit), joined the Tories in soliciting votes ; he worked like a horse, swore like a boatswain, was the victor of several rings, and drank with the most fervent devotion — doing all for what he denominated " the good old cause." At the close of the first day of the election, the friends of each party dined at their separate head quarters, and it hardly need be said that healths, " five fathoms deep," were drank with the utmost enthusiasm ; the wine and grog abounded, and men swallowed sufficient to have liquidated the National Debt, had it not have been considered by that party as one of the greatest blessings the country ever enjoyed. The houses of entertainment were at no great distance from each other, and the unsteady emergers from number one could not fail to come in contact with the unsteady emergers from number three ; and so by way of a wind-up, as they reeled home, several 72 TILE OLD SAILOR*S regular twisters were exchanged, till, after repeated skirmishes, the whole bodies took up arms, though they could scarcely keep upon their legs, and sallied forth into the streets to have a hostile meeting ; and as they wanted a commander-in-chief, both parties placed themselves under the influences of one General Row. E , as a bellygerunt, skillfull of grog, headed his friends, and led to the attack ; the Liberals, brim full of potency and the sovereignty of the people, repelled the assault ; weapons offensive and defensive were collected ; and at it they went, ding-dong, not from any feeling of wrong inflicted by either — not from any cherished personal animosity — not through envy, hatred, or malice — but solely because one party intended to vote for Potts, and the other party for Kettles. What a droll thing an election is ! The fighting continued for some time ; broken heads, bruised limbs, black eyes, and sanguinary noses, till the police officers, by belabouring on all sides, put a stop to the affray, and staves in hand vindicated and upheld the supremacy of the law, by knocking his Majesty's liege subjects down. E was amongst the last to retreat, but after being rolled up in mud, he bundled off home in no very enviable plight. The old woman let him in, and sorely did she grieve to see her " poor dear child " in such a condition, though she did not fail to rate him soundly for indulging his thirsty propensities to such excess. Accustomed from childhood to pay great deference to his nurse, the Captain received her remonstrances and rebukes without offering any very caustic replies, and in a short time he stripped ship and went to bed, the old woman locking his door to prevent his going out again ; but, like many other elderly ladies, she did not perform her work with that accuracy which the case required. There were folding doors between the sitting-room and the bed-room, and E 's brain being somewhat in a whirl, through lying down, fancied there was a noise in the street, and immediately concluded that the hostile parties were again in battle array. Nor, in point of fact, was he mistaken, as a straggling few had got up a bit of a fight amongst themselves, and the shouting and rattling of sticks could be distinctly heard. Captain E listened as well as he could, and the noise of the mob chimed in with the singing in his ears ; he got out of bed in his shirt and drawers, contrived to draw on his stockings, and by the time this was effected, the battle had rolled its tide more closely to his habitation. Impatient to head his friends, and lead them on to glorious victory, he hurried, exactly in the state he was, to the door, but finding it locked, he gave vent to angry denun- ciations. Cunning, however, assisted him, and trying the folding portals, they quickly yielded. It was a beautiful moonlight night, and every thing around was clearly visible ; he ran to the window to ascertain the direction of the sounds, just as several of the adverse party passed beneath to reinforce the Liberals. Without a moment's hesitation the sash was drawn up, out went the Captain, and sliding down from the leads above the shop-front, he dropped upon tliw pavement, joined the Tories, instilled fresh vigour into them, and >/? Cc>/fs&s f 7i> ^y/i?,f JOLLY BOAT. 73 the contest grew warmer than ever, till once more put an end to by the watchmen and civil force. E , who never used any other weapon than his hard horny fists, had engaged in several pugilistic encounters, in which he had given and taken punishment unflinchingly, his shirt was torn, his drawers loose, his stockings down, and his falls had been in not the cleanest portions of the highway. It was in the strange plight just described that the gallant Captain once more sought his home, and knocked violently for admittance ; rattle after rattle succeeded at the door, but no response was made, till the old housekeeper, throwing up the first-floor sash, demanded " Who's there?" " Who do you think it is but myself? " answered E , in a voice hoarse with hallooing. " Bear a hand down, and open the door." " Indeed, and I shall do no such thing," exclaimed the housekeeper in a rage. " Go along about your business, and don't come here to disturb and alarm peaceable people at this time of the night," " Open the door, I say," vociferated E — i — , somewhat exasperated by her refusal. " Come down, and let me in, you old Jezabel, do ! " " Old Jezabel, forsooth," answered the housekeeper, in a passion ; " it is well my poor dear child, the Captain, does not hear you calling names, or you would find the streets too hot to hold you. Get away, fellow, or I will assuredly call him up." "Confound it!" shouted the shivering Officer, "here am I, thoroughly soaked" — there was no untruth in that — " and that old catamaran refuses to admit me. D'ye hear there, Bet ? open the door, I say. Zounds ! don't you know me ? I am the Captain." " You the Captain ! " answered the enraged woman. "You! — no, poor dear child, he's safe in his bed, and you are nothing but an imposthume as wants to rob the place. You" 11 get no doors opened by me, I promise you." It was in vain that E expostulated, stormed, and entreated ; the old woman was inexorable, declaring that her " poor dear child was fast asleep in his room," till E 's patience became exhausted ; and as a multitude of both parties were gathering round, he procured a piece of rope through the agency of a friendly hand, and flinging the end over the iron of the projecting sign, he doubled the parts, and ascended hand over hand, to the great amusement of the spectators, both sides suspending hostilities to shout and laugh. Up went the Captain, but when he got to the sign of the hat, his head popped into it and he could rise no higher. Useless were his efforts to soar above it ; sometimes he descended a little way, and then again mounted, but his labours were in vain, his head would get into the enormous hat ; and there he kicked, and swore, and raved, whilst the old woman screamed most lustily ; and the mob, decorated with the favours of the adverse parties, fought and hallooed and danced below. All at once it occurred to the housekeeper to see whether the Captain really was in bed or not. She therefore unlocked the door of his sleeping-room, rushed into the apartment, and loud were her 10~ 14 wailings and lamentations when she discovered that her "poor uear child " was non est inventus, and that he must have departed without his clothes. The truth flashed upon her mind — half a dozen steps carried her down stairs — the street door was thrown open, and E . at last finding a friendly port from the storm, took off the great hat, and, lowing through the crowd, made good his entry to his lodgings, The old lady did all in her power to atone for the mistake ; she got him some hot brandy and water, wrapped his feet in her best flannel petticoat, and then left her " poor dear child " to his repose ■ THE RULING PASSION. " Strong even in Death." When I first rigged myself in the "jacket and trousers so blue," the Epitome of Navigation in general — nay, if I mistake not, in sole use at sea — was that which was well known and became celebrated under the title " Hamilton Moore." This was superseded by a superior work put forth by " Norie," of Leadenhall-street ; and perhaps no two individuals evsr had their names so universally upon the tongues of mariners, as those whom I have mentioned. Other Epitomes have since been published, both in England and America. One is by Mr. Riddle, a master in the Upper School, Greenwich — another is by Lieutenant Raper, of the Royal Navy ; and the productions of both these gentlemen are, I believe, from their own observations and calculations. Of John Hamilton Moore's history, little has been given to the world ; he possibly might be a descendant of the famous Francis Moore, physician — for both professed to deal in siderial matters, the former as an Astronomer, the latter as an Astrologer — but neither having much to do with the books that bore their super- scription. It is true that a portrait, purporting to be a likeness of John Hamilton Moore, appeared as a frontispiece to his Epitome ; but, in point of fact, it more strongly resembled a certain Irish school- master — the very beau ideal of the character — who kept an Academy near the sign of the Roman Eagle (a crack place in its day), in Church Street, Deptford. His name was B 1, and the actual calculator of most of the logarithmic tables, sines, tangents, secants, &c, with which Hamilton Moore abouuds. Well do I remember the venerable man — nearly six feet in altitude, dressed in a long green dressing-gown, illustrated with small flowers and numerous maps of grease — his white hair thickly clustering over his shoulders, a bottle of whiskey on one side of his desk, a small chest of snuff on the other, and (when not in his mouth) a doudeen stuck in his button-hole. He was a man of undoubted talent as a mathematician, full of the milk of JOLLY BOAT. 75 human kindness, which he was accustomed to mingle with his favourite beverage pretty freely, and sometimes to excess. The national peculiarities of the Emerald Isle were perfectly natural in all his sayings and doings — he was the Irish gentleman of the old school. Age, however, brought on its attendant infirmities, and at the termination of his eighty-sixth year, although his intellects were nearly as acute as ever, he was compelled to retire from his profession, most of his pupils having abandoned him. Not one sixpence had he saved to comfort his last days, but grateful esteem induced certain parties to collect sufficient to procure him an annuity of about £15 per annum — scarcely enough to find the poor old boy in " potheen " and " bacca." It happened that three or four years afterwards, a person connected with one of the Epitomes — I think it was " Norie's " — was desirous of ascertaining the data upon which B 1 had founded his tables, as well as to make some very abstruse calculations, which had puzzled many of the astronomers ; but the veteran schoolmaster was no where to be discovered, and it was believed that he had taken his last sight in time, and had entered upon eternity. At length, however, after diligent search, his whereabouts was discovered, and he was found bed-ridden in a sorry hole of a garret, in Rotherhithe or Wapping — I cannot recollect which. The visitor stated the cause of his errand, and though the mind was wavering upon every other subject, yet it was fully able to develope this — he craved for half a pint of whiskey aud his pipe, and was raised up whilst he enjoyed them, seemingly to his heart's content. When his liquor and pipe were both out, his former mental energies seemed to revive — he entered clearly and distinctly into the required explanations — there was no hesitation — no faltering — it was the last flash from the lamp of life ; he laid himself back upon his pillow, and in a few minutes was a corpse. *" Ninety-one " was engraved upon the lid of his coffin. I recollect another instance in an old seaman, who, after serving all his yonnger days in a ship-of-war, was at the age of eighty master of a coasting vessel. But he could not endure for ever— .- ill health confined him to his bed, and a want of his usual activity, conjoined with a decay of nature, speedily reduced him to a state of imbecility. For several days before he died he was much convulsed, and writhed about in restless disquietude, until a piece of rope was put into his hands, and he immediately became pacified ; nor would he suffer it to be taken from him, but unceasingly went through the process of splicing, knotting, or coiling it away, until a few minutes before he breathed his last ; when, resigning his charge, he expired without a struggle. 76 THE OLD SAILOR'S ANNE OF MUNSTEK, CHAPTER I. " Och ! by the powers, your honour, it's an illigant baste entirely, and bates Connaught for wind and limb," said the driver, as we took our seats on a vehicle which I had engaged to convey me from the thriving town of Ballina, in the county of Sligo, to the half-military town of Castlebar, in the neighbouring county of Mayo, and both situated on the western coast of Ireland, in the province of Connaught. The solitary stage coach conveying the public mails, which passes over this desolate region of bogs, lakes, and rocks, did not leave Ballina until the middle of the day, and as I had business to transact in Castlebar, I wished to be there before the arrival of the coach, that I might avail myself of it to pass on, that same evening, to the next town on my route. For this purpose, I had, the previous night, arranged to be called early, and to have the horse and car at the door by six o'clock. As it was in the month of December, there was, of course, no appearance of day, and the car having no such unheard-of extravagancies as temps, there was no chance of examining either the machine which was to carry, the horse which was to draw, or the man that was to drive, me through this portion of the Emerald Isle. On getting into the car (a kind of light cart, like those used by butchers in England), I expressed a hope that the horse was all right. *' Never fear, your honour," said Paddy, jumping up beside me, and shaking the reins and hallooing to the horse — " devil a one is like him — he'll bate Banagher all out, and so he will — och, by the holy poker, but he's a jewel of a baste — yurro ! " he cried, in a lively tone ; and urging the animal on, we left the town at a spanking rate, and soon lost sight of the neighbourhood where it lay. As he still kept up the smart pace at which we started, I expressed a fear lest we should not be able to hold it out. " Sorrow a fear you honour need have," said he, " sure the baste '11 improve the furder we go ;" and, as if to show its improving qualities, he again whooped and " yurrooed " at the horse, shook the reins, and forced it on with accelerated speed, until I began to fear some accident might occur from the rapid rate at which we travelled. I was impressed with the full conviction that the horse was really a good one, as I saw no whip ; and although there was a kind of twitching with the driver's right arm now and then, yet, as I could not understand its meaning, I did not connect it, in any way, with the movements of the steed, and therefore gave him full credit for all the good qualities the driver ascribed to him. We had travelled in this manner for twenty minutes or half an hour, JOLLY BOAT. 77 when the horse gradually slackened his pace, and as I did not offer any remarks, the prudent Jehu amused himself with whistling a jig, or now and then bursting out into odd snatches of old and humorous songs, without endeavouring to urge the horse beyond the dog-trot pace into which he had now fallen, and which seemed most habitual to him. In the course of another hour, the cold light of the wintry morning broke feebly through the murky clouds, which always obscured the sky whenever I happened to be in that part of the world, and I was able, in some measure, to reconnoitre, not only the poor beast which drew me along the road, but the lively and light-hearted animal who sat beside me. He was a middle-sized, middle-aged man, with a shock head of hair, that was, probably, quite innocent of either comb or brush — and, indeed, nothing less than a curricomb could have made the least impression ; a round, good-humoured face ; mouth rather wide, and a pair of black eyes that would have set off the finest Italian face. His hat was minus a considerable portion of the brim, and the crown seemed designed to act as a ventilator to his head, as it kept flapping up and down with the motion of the car, and was held on one side only, after the fashion of a hinge. His coat, waistcoat, and breeches were made of something resembling cloth, but of what the originals were composed, it would puzzle a wise man to guess, since Joseph's coat of many colours was not fit to be named in the same page with the habiliments that hung about the person of Pat. His ancles and half way up his legs were cased with hay-bands, ingeniously serving the place of boots, while his feet were protected with shoes that certainly were not made ior one individual, and most likely were not both formed in the same century. As the daylight grew stronger, I was able to make other observa- tions, one of which, at first sight, looked rather alarming. Beneath the feet of the driver were five or six good stout shilelaghs, each of them capable of doing very pretty service at a wake or fair. As the country we were passing was extremely rugged, and for miles destitute of human habitations, and having considerable property with me, the thought was not very unnatural, that mischief might be intended in some lonely spot, where cries for help could only be answered by the wild echoes of the rock, or the still wilder screams of the eagle. There was a degree of surprise, mingled, perhaps, with a trifle of fear, in the exclamation — " What, in the name of patience, are you going to do with those formidable sticks?" " Sticks !" exclaimed Paddy, with great surprise, following the direction of my finger, " is it the bits of switches you mane ? Oh ! by dad, your honour, and I'll tell you. You see, your honour, it was late last night when I resaved your honour's commands, and the childer, Heaven bless 'em, were all asleep, and one of them, your honour, had lost the whip, and herself wouldn't let the cratur be waked, and so I jist brought the thrifle of swishes, in case your honour should be ia a hurry." 78 THE OLD SAILOR'S " And do you mean to beat the horse," I asked, " with such cudgels as those?" " Och ! divil a bit," answered Paddy, " I ounly jist acquaint him that they are here to the fore ; and when he knows how convaynient I have 'em, faith, he'll travel like a bird, without minding the hills at all." Not more than half satisfied with this explanation, which, if at all true, showed a superabundant precaution, I sat still beside the merry Irishman, contenting myself with watching to see whether the horse or myself was to have a more intimate acquaintance with the rib-crackers below. We had now gone seven or eight miles, and the road was passing between two large lakes, on a narrow ledge of rock which divided them, and presently afterwards widened, and stretched up loftily in huge beetling cliffs, where the eagle sat watching for his prey. As the road began somewhat to ascend, the horse slackened his pace ; and I was not sorry he did, as it gave me a better opportunity of observing the wild and desolate scenery around. From the midst of my contemplations on the grand displays of savage rock and inacces- sible cliffs, I was suddenly startled by the sound of a shrill whistle, and looking in the direction from whence it proceeded, I saw several men armed with guns, descending a rugged path that overhung the lake. One was marching in front, and two behind, and having in the centre two others, who were half supporting, half dragging, a young female, elegantly dressed. Her face appeared very pale, and her eyes wild ; but from the momentary view I had, it was not possible to draw just conclusions as to what emotions caused these appearances. I had barely time to notice these few particulars, when the party rounded the side of a precipice, and were lost to my view. "What the whistle had sounded for was soon explained, as I saw two other parties making their way down the rocks from different points, in the same direction, and, as I conjectured, all bearing to one place of rendezvous. " Who are those people ?" I asked, turning to the driver, and looking inquiringly in his face. " People, your honour ?" said he, with the greatest simplicity, " sure there are no people at all hearabouts." " The men and the woman," I replied, " who have just passed down yon rocks. " " By dad," said the fellow, looking very roguish, and laughing, " your honour is dhraming this morning ! Talk of people passing down yon rocks ! None but the divil could pass there, nor himself neither, widout using his wings and his claws." As he appeared quite serious in what he said, I was fain to let it pass, although the suspicion came very strongly across my mind, more than once, that he had seen them as well as myself, but did not choose to acknowledge it. I cast my eye down again to the cudgels which lay innocently enough beneath our feet, and at first thought of securing one, in case of an attack ; but recollecting how useless such things would be against the fire-arms carried by strangers, I abandoned my intention, thinking it wiser not to provoke violence by this impotent preparation for defence. JOLLY BOAT. 79 As I came to this conclusion, the road wound sharply round a projecting rock, and we found ourselves in the midst of an armed party of nine men, surrounding a young female, who laid on the ground in a fainting condition. CHAPTER II. It would be impossible to conceive a stronger contrast than was exhibited between the appearance of the fair young girl, who lay extended on the rocky ground, and the swarthy fierce-looking beings around her. To a set of features cast in the finest mould of feminine beauty, was united a figure of extreme grace and the most exquisite proportion. Her complexion was naturally fair, and deprived, as it was, of whatever colour it might ordinarily possess, the skin looked like the finest marble, or rather, displayed the delicate transparency of the purest alabaster. The long glossy dark hair had escaped in masses from beneath her bonnet, and, disordered, by the violence she had sustained, hung confusedly over her neck and bosom. The dress she wore was of the finest material, and bore traces, by its sable character, that she but recently had been a mourner, and probably a chief one, at the last resting-place of some dear and cherished relation or friend. As she lay still and motionless on the cold rock, the thought shot rapidly through my mind, how much better it would be for her should she waken no more, than to encounter the destiny that seemed to await her, from the hands into which she had fallen. Of the nine men who surrounded the fainting girl, there were at least six of them that appeared somewhat under the influence of drink — mere low vagabond sensualists, whose prevailing habits were but too strongly stamped on their features. The other three were of a different order, one was a tall, ungainly personage, with an awful squint of both eyes; and a most sinister expression. He had a sort of smile, that was meant to be willing and condescending, but it reminded you of the arch-fiend, who could murder while he smiled. The dress of this man was better than the others, and he evidently carried some degree of superiority. The remaining two were dressed nearly alike, and though decidedly clerical, there were some professional traces which dis- tinguished them from all the others. One of these men was approaching fifty years of age ; he had a pale, smooth face, a small puckered mouth, and eyes of piercing brightness. He was extremely spare in his person, and appeared capable of under- going great privation and fatigue. The other was younger, not exceeding thirty years at most ; and though habited like the eldest personage, there was the most striking difference between them — somewhat above the middle size, and of a burly make, a spectator could at once point him out as a jolly boon companion, and the good- humoured smile on his broad face might have been attractive, were it 80 THE OLD SAILOR'S not for the libidinous expression which lurked in his eye. This peculiar view might be more strongly excited, from a little circumstance which occurred while the girl lay on the ground. In the disorder, occasioned by the speed with which she had been dragged along, the upper portion of her dress was somewhat loosened, and exposed a part of her neck more than was wont. Not satisfied with remaining standing in the most favourable position, he contrived an excuse for sitting down just beyond her head, and fixed his eyes gloating on the view afforded by the helplessness of her condition. There was a species of triumphant villany in the wild light of his eye, and I could not but augur the worst consequences to the unhappy girl, if she were left to the tender mercy of this powerful voluptuary. I had sufficient time to make these observations which require longer to tell than the mind takes in framing them, from the circum- stances of the very slow pace we travelled up the steep road which led us into the midst of the party, and from the dead stand we had to make, owing to some of the men occupying the whole space of the road, over which it was necessary to pass. If I had been inclined to go on, with only the casual glance derived from the slow progress we were making, the intention would have been frustrated by the dogged stupidity of the men, who had placed themselves in our way ; but to speak truth, I was so struck by the excessive beauty of the prostrate girl, and so interested by her deplorable condition, that I was not at all sorry to find an excuse for a more leisurely survey of the singular scene before me. I know not how it was that my mind became so immediately impressed with the idea that the girl was in danger ; there appeared no evidence of hostility. I knew not the relationship between her and the parties around her ; for anything that appeared to the contrary, they might be her friends, removing her from pressing danger to a place of safety, and certainly from the number of men, and the apparent respectability of a portion of their number, as well as it being in broad daylight, there could be no reason to apprehend either violence or insult. And yet, on the other hand, when I reflected on the wild path I had traversed, and the terrified look she had when I first saw her ; the desolate country around ; the lawless, the sinister, and the suspicious characters about her, and, above all, the surpassing loveliness of this lonely and unprotected being, I could not help feeling that instinctive apprehension of evil which, like the dark cloud in the sky, casts its chilling shadow on the blighted field, or like the coming events of the gifted seer, throwing their withering shade before them. As the horse stopped, apparently of his own accord, when he came within a couple of yards of the men who were standing on the road, I noticed the driver lift his brinkless hat with a great degree of reverence to the two half-clerical strangers, and more especially to the elder, who returned his salutation with a mixture of dignity and condescension I could not understand. This appearance of acquaintanceship revived my former suspicions, and I became convinced that the fellow's simplicity was, in a great measure, assumed. JOLLY BOAT. 81 " You see people do come down the rocks," I said, in a whisper ; *' do you know who they are ? " " Sorrow a bit myself knows," said he ; " ounly I jist guess that two of 'em are priests, heaven bless 'em." " Why do you think they are priests ? " I asked, in the same low tone as before, and to confirm me in the impression I had first formed. " Oh, be dad ? your honour and its aisy to tell " said he; " sure don't you see the black coat close to the body — the bit black stocks about the neck wid the white muslin above it, and more than all, the cut o'the jib which is like nothing else in ould Ireland ; and faith but you may tell them in a sack o'praties ; so you may." " And who is that beautiful girl?" I continued ; " and what do you think they'll do with her?" " Who is she?" he asked, looking very arch, " and what will they do with her? aisy to ax, but mighty hard to answer; may be she's a woman," he continued " and then the divil is there. He's niver away from the petticoats, any how ; and so he isn't, the thief." The last word he uttered rose higher than the rest of our conversa- tion, and being pronounced with considerable energy, reached the ears of the elder of the two priests, and caused him to turn suddenly round, with an expression in his small dark eyes that was quite terrifying to the poor fellow who sat beside me. " Who is a thief? " he exclaimed, bending his keen, sharp glance on the frightened driver ; " who is a thief, I say ? speak," he continued in a voice of calm authority, " speak, and tell me who it is you stigmatise with that disgraceful epithet? " The party addressed was apparently struck with great fear : he shook on his seat ; all the light joyousness of his previous conduct vanished in a moment ; he hung down his head — looked sheepish and terrified — and as the incensed individual came nearer, his fears grew more powerful, until, overcome by his feelings, he fairly sank on his knees, and with great trepidation in his speech, faltered out, " It was the divil, your reverence." " Ha ! ha ! ha ! " chuckled his reverence, smiling kindly on the trembling wretch, " a very proper character, as I'm a sinner ; he is a thief, and so are his friends, the heretics — all thieves : ha, ha, ha — I'm glad you are acquainted with his character ; ha, ha, ha — a thief, an errant thief — ha, ha, ha !" This appearance of excessive terror, and of sudden and extreme jocu- larity, was not calculated to allay the feeling of suspicion which had taken root in my mind. If the driver was not in the secret and acting with them, there could be no doubt that the priest was assuming a character for the occasion, and, endeavouring to create an impression on those about him, that might prove favourable to some ulterior object he had in view. What the object might be, was not for me to guess, ignorant as I was of his previous connexion with the girl, or why she had been hurried with such apparent violence to that lonely place. Whatever might have been his object, the means he adopted were evidently calculated to work well on the party around him, for they 11 82 THE OLD SAILOR'8 entered with great glee into the humour he displayed, and seemed to think it an excellent joke on the part of the priest, that he coupled the heretics and the devil together. The loud, coarse laugh with which they responded to the priest's mirth, might probably have had some effect on the poor girl, for, drawing a long breath and heaving a deep sigh, while a contractive spasmodic struggle agitated her frame, she just opened her eyes for a moment, and then closed them again, with an expression of shudderiug and repulsive horror. The sensation and the expression were only for a moment, but they spoke volumes to my excited apprehension ; and assured me that there was some deep and fatal cause existing, to produce that mingled appearance of horror and loathing. The elder of the two priests had apparently paid little attention to me up to the present time, and I probably might have escaped his notice altogether, had it not been for the younger one whispering in his ear, and most likely suggesting something unfavourable. I had reason to infer some degree of dislike from having noticed his conduct to the lady. He had looked up, and seeing that I observed him, a momentary flush reddened his face, which soon darkened, however, into a lowering expression of mortification and dislike. When, therefore, the former turned and bent his keen eyes as if he would search me through, I observed that his brow was suddenly contracted, and in a harsh, authoritative tone, he bade me " Pass on, and be cautious." As I knew of no right he had to control my motions on the king's highway, and, moreover, somewhat indignant at this impertinent assumption of authority in a stranger, I answered his looks with others equally stern, and replied, " That my time was my own, and I would move at no man's bidding." " Will you 7iot" he said, in a low calm tone; " do you see the rock above you ? do you see the water below you ? Now mind, he continued, in a thrilling whisper, " if I say drown, the waves will cover you, and the hard rock will say nothing. Be wise, and pass on." There was something terrible in the very calmness with which he uttered these words, betokening as it were the cold indifference of a mind resolved to commit any act that could further his object ; and they evidently made a most formidable impression on the driver's mind, for he whispered in my ear, at the same time trembling excessively, " Oh, for the love of heaven, let us go — let us go, and not provoke the holy father when he bids you begone." He made a motion, as if to urge the animal forward, which had the effect of rousing me to the more decided opposition of seizing the reins. I said sternly, " Sit still, 'till I bid you go on, and let me see who dares annoy the king's liege on the public road." * Bah ! what a fool you are," said the priest, laughing ; " you forget we're in Connaught, and the strong hand is king here. Boys," he cried, turning to the ruffians who stood at a short distance, " come, and show this Saxon " What more he would have said was cut short by a scream from the girl, who had started to her feet, and rushing past the men on the JOLLY BOAT. 83 road, she came close to the car, and flinging herself on her knees, she lifted up a pair of most expressive eyes, and cried in tones of piercing earnestness, " Save me ! save me ! for the love of heaven save me ! " CHAPTER III. The sudden restoration, impassioned action, and piercing cry of the distressed girl, produced an instantaneous effect on the various individuals around her, more than sufficient to draw their attention from me, and to fix it exclusively on her. The person who appeared to be most affected among them, was the tall, ungainly man with the sinister eyes. He was standing close to the back of the car, and, consequently, very near to the spot where the unfortunate girl was kneeling ; and no sooner had he recovered from a momentary surprise, than betidinghis black bushy brows, he stepped forwards, and taking hold of her arm, raised her forcibly from the ground, at the same time saying in a voice, where violent passion was contending with what might have been habitual respect, " It is your honoured mother's last command, and you must obey" There was terrible emphasis on these latter words, as if designed to impress her most fully with the helplessness of her condition ; but instead of yielding passively to the strong hand which held her, she struggled violently to escape, as she cried in a scornful tone — " It is false, as the deceitful villain that utters the slander." " Ask his reverence," he replied, still holding her fast ; " he was present, and heard her." " It is false, I say. My dearest mother loved me too well." " It is not false, Miss Anne," said the elder of the priests coming forward, " they were the last words she uttered before receiving the last sacrament ; and the will of the dead must be obeyed." The allusion to this bereavement, which was evidently very recent, seemed to awaken the most tender emotions ; for ceasing to struggle, she cast her streaming eyes to heaven, and sobbed in tones of the most passionate grief. " Oh ! my mother ! my mother ! would to God I had died with thee, and was now resting in thy quiet grave ! " The sight of this interesting young creature in such deep distress, produced the most powerful emotions in my mind, and although the slightest reflection might have convinced me, that any interference on my part must be attended with extreme danger to myself, without the slightest chance of benefiting the young lady, yet so intensely were my feelings excited against the suspicious -looking scoundrel that held her, that snatching up one of the cudgels at my feet, I sprang out of the car, and seizing him violently by the collar, ordered him to unhand the lady on the instant. " And who are you?" he asked, with a sarcastic sneer, "who dares to interfere with a gentleman in the discharge of his duty ?" 84 THE OLD SAILOR'S '• Gentleman, indeed ! " I replied, my blood boiling, and scarce able to keep the cudgel from his head — " unhand the lady, or — " " Or what?" asked the priest, at the same time making a sign to the men, who instantly rushed in, and seizing my arms, took away the stick, and pinioned me in their hard grasp with the strength of iron. The outrage on my person, though not calculated to allay the irritation of my feelings, immediately convinced me of the folly I had committed, not so much as regarded the unpleasant consequences to myself, as the effect it might have on the fate of the unhappy creature ; and I had to regret this still more, when, after a few minutes' consultation between the two priests, a bandage was put over my eyes, my arms tied behind, and after being thrown on the ground with some degree of violence, my legs bound with ropes, so as to render motion impossible. My first impression was, the apprehension that, thus bound and Winded, they would throw me into the lake, where I might lie long enough without interfering with their schemes ; and although the thought ran chilly through my veins, yet recollecting how useless my appeal to their pity would be likely to prove, I assumed a more fearless tone than the state of my feelings warranted at the time ; and said, loud enough to be heard by all, " There will be a clay of reckoning hereafter." Whether this remark had the effect of changing their purpose, I could not tell ; but no further attempt at violence was offered, and I lay listening in vain for any sounds to intimate their intention towards me. Meantime, it appeared that the young female had ceased to strug- gle with her oppressor, and to judge from the heavy sobs that every now and then reached my ear, she seemed to be wholly absorbed by her own deep grief in the loss of her mother, until after a consider- able shuffling of feet, as if the party were in the act of unloading the car, I heard the tall man say, in an authoritative voice, '* Get up — we have wasted too much time already." Whether this was to urge her to mount the car, or to rise from the ground, I could not tell ; but she instantly replied, in a tone of firm- ness that surprised me, " I will not stir at your bidding." '* You must," he said, " and that quickly." " I will not," she replied vehemently ; " you have no warrant for this violence ; brute force may take me hence, as brute force has brought me here, and bound the stranger yonder ; but of my own ac- cord I will not stir, and you shall account hereafter for the outrage." " Will you dispute your mother's will ?" asked a calm voice which I could recognize as that of the elder priest's. " My mother's last will could never contradict her whole life, and she loved me too dearly to doom her only child to such treatment as this ; but I warn you," she cried, raising her voice, and speaking with great firmness, " I warn you of the consequence — I will appeal " Here a loud voice broke in upon her, as if giving way to uncontrol- led passion ; and this, mingled with the sound of feet shuffling to and fro, as if in the act of securing her by violence, intimated but too plainly that they were forcing the unhappy girl into the car. This awey /m>£ 9, JOLLY BOAT. 85 was immediately confirmed by the rolling of the wheels, and the reced- ing voices of the men, which becoming every instant fainter, intimated the rapidity of their movements ; until just as they were growing quite indistinct, a wild, terrified scream rung upon my ear, and was succeeded by a silence, as deep and as awful as the last stillness of the grave. The fearful sound which had closed this singular scene continued to ring in my ears ; and, situated as I was, with my eyes in darkness and stretched helplessly on the ground, it is not surprising that my imagi- nation should portray the worst misfortune as having befallen the young lady. " Death," I said to myself, " has got another victim ! and one of the loveliest that ever starred this vale of tears. They have murdered her, the villains ! they have murdered her, and she now lies cold and silent at the bottom of the lake ; and whose turn is next ? If they have had no mercy on her, will they show any to me ? I have witnessed their villany, and they will silence their accuser." Full of this gloomy apprehension, which, for the moment, grew more powerful than my sympathy for the unfortunate girl, I lay straining my ears to catch the stealthy footsteps of the approaching murderer, who, I did not doubt, was already within sight of his victim, and would in a few moments hurl me into the water, without a struggle or without a chance of escape. '• Bat shall I die thus without an effort for life, or without revenge ? There would be some gloomy comfort in dragging the destroyer to the bottom, and clutching his throat in the strong agony of death." I rolled, and pulled, and twisted, and felt as if I had double my usual strength ; but it was in vain — they had done their work too well — all was utterly useless, and I must die without seeing my murderer, or having one struggle for existence. The thought came over me with the coldness of ice, and I sunk exhausted and spent into a state of apathy. " Let them come," I said, " I can die but once, and the pain will soon be over." In this state I lay for some minutes, feeling quite resigned and indif- ferent to my fate, expecting every moment the grasp of the assassin ; until after waiting a longer time than seemed necessary, I began to be impatient, and wondered they should keep me in suspense, and at length grew quite angry and disappointed because they did not come. I had made up my mind to be killed, and now there was no one to hill me. This violent agitation of the feelings gradually subsided, and in the space of an hour, all the stronger excitement of the mind had died away into the mere physical sense of uncomfortableness to my frame, from lying cramped on the cold ground. The morning had opened with a heavy mist, which had now settled down into a drizzling rain, and I could feel the moisture penetrating to my skin in various parts, and spreading its cold, chilly influences further and further, like the silent and insidious steps of some deadly disease. My feet had become stiff and destitute of feeling; my hands were benumbed, and all my limbs cramped and full of pain. The gloomy thought crept over my spirit, that I was doomed to a lingering death, and without 8G THE OLD SAILOIt'g any of the excitement I had formerly experienced, there appeared a sort of distant relief in thus ending the misery I felt. A species of drowsiness — a sort of supernatural sleep — was beginning to steal over me, when I heard a sound that shot through my frame with the quick thrill of an electric shock, and awoke me at once to an interest in life. It was the sound of some one whistling the merry air of " St. Patrick's day in the morning." There was more than music iu the tone — there was hope, there was life. All the morning my ears had taken in nothing but the gloomy sound of the rolling waters, the splash of the rain as it fell from the rocks, or the harsh scream of the distant eagle : but now to hear this quick sound of kindly life, this joyous up-bubbling of the merryhood of man, this vocal speech of a light heart, it was indeed the voice of the charmer — it was divine. And there was no fear, no drawback, no distrust ; for it grew louder, and it came nearer, and the life that was in it was unabated ; and if it stopped but for a moment, it burst out louder than ever, and there was love and good- will in it, and it was a goodly sound. It is surprising what an effect the imagination has on the body, the hopes awakened by this common sound, which, at any other time, would not have excited more than a passing thought, seemed to shed a reviving warmth through my whole frame, and a degree of pleasurable feeling actually ran through . the limbs that, a few moments before, were full of intolerable pain. My heart throbbed with a feeling of delight perfectly inexpressible, and it seemed as if a new tide of renovated existence was pulsing through my veins. As the sounds came nearer, I could distinguish the slow feet of a horse, with the rumbling wheels of a heavy cart, intermingled with the lighter footsteps of a man, as if dancing a jig by the side of his cart, to the merry tune he kept whistling with unabated vigour. All of a sudden the sounds ceased, and a cry of surprise broke forth, " Och ! by the powers ! and what have we here, boxes, bags, and an iUigant portmantle. Faith, it's myself is in luck this morning ; St. Patrick be praised and the Virgin. Eh — murther, murther, a dead man kilt as sure as a poker ; o hone, o hone, and what'll I do ; oh, by Jasus, and he's not kilt at all, at all ; and so he is'nt. Faith ; but it's a damp bed he has any how, and a hard one." Then coming close up, he cried out, " If you're a living man, be after telling me, that I may help you ; but may be you're speechless, darlint, and well you may be, this could morning." Here I recovered from the surprise and pleasure I had experienced, and succeeded in convincing him I was still living, by requesting he would unban chige my eyes, and untie my arms. " By dad," he replied, " it's a small thing your after axing, and if Shamus O'Rourke refuses the stranger, may be Kathleen wouldn't be scolding. Och ! honey, hould up your head, and let's look at the knot — faith it's a hard one ; if this had been fast round your neck for an hour, your nice might have shaken hands with your shoe without blushing. Och! the devil he knew how to tie a rope any how — one would swear his father was a hangman. If his mother's son was JOLLY BOAT. 87 banged, the world would be none the worse — devil burn him. I have broke my nail, and not untied it." " Take a knife, and cut it," I said, becoming impatient. " Mighty convanient that same," he responded ; " but then the illigant kerchy will be spoiled. Try again ; now we have it— there— by dad, one pull more, and you may see daylight." It was true enough, the bandage was off, and I once more felt how " blessed a thing it was to behold the light." Tears of grateful joy came into my eyes as I earnestly thanked the poor fellow for his kindness. "Oh, weresthrue, and don't be botheriug us," he cried, the muscles of his face slightly relaxing ; " sure we have your arms and your feet still in limbo, and let's be after getting them out." This was a task of some difficulty, but was at length accomplished, and I stood again with unfettered limbs ; but owing to the cold in my feet, was unable to stand without his assistance. " Aisy, your honour, aisy," he said, as I grasped his shoulder to prevent myself from falling ; "jist be after leaning on me for a little, and try to make a turn or two on the road till the blood warms. By dad ! and it was a could bed your honour had chosen." " There was no choice in the matter," I said, smiling and striving to hobble along ; " but it would soon have been my last one, if Providence had not sent you hither to relieve me." " And that's thrue," he said, somewhat solemnly ; " Providence did send me — and very much against my own will ; I little drhamed it was to save a life, that I was forced ten miles out of my way ; the saints be praised, and the blessed Vargin ! " " And yet you seemed very merry," I replied, "for you were whistling and dancing on the road like a young kid." "Your honour's a witch," he said laughing, "to find out that, and your eyes blinded." " But you forgot my ears were not stopped," observed I. " No more they were," he replied ; " and that's queer — it's well a man has two ways into his head — but are you better? " he asked in i tone of feeling too earnest to be mistaken, and it was with real pleasure he heard that I now felt able to walk alone. After some time, being sufficiently recovered to proceed, I expressed a wish to be moving towards some place of refreshment, where I might change my clothes, and obtain something to eat, as I had tasted nothing the whole day, and it was now long past meridian. " Is there an inn near us ? " I asked, " for I am very hungry." "An inn," he replied, "not within twenty miles, certain." " Is there no house where we may obtain something like food and shelter, either for love or for money ? " " Och ! love and money," replied Shamus ; " love'll go a long way, but money a deal furder ; but neither love nor money will get victuals nearer than the Pontoon." " And what is the Pontoon ? " I asked. " The Pontoon ! faith, it's a house of illigant entertainment, and myself often stops at it when I come this way." 88 THE OLD SAILOR S " And how far may be this house of elegant entertainment ? " I asked, smiling at the idea suggested by his recommendation. " Jist seven miles from the ould mare's tail at the top of the hill," said he, pointing to a remarkable rock at some distance, and which, to a fanciful mind, might bear some resemblance to the article in question. " Seven long Irish miles," I said, with a sigh, " and nothing to eat till then." "Jist that, your honour, and no mistake at all. So I'll put the luggage on the. car, and the baste 'ill carry us both, and we'll make the best of a bad bargain, and be off to the Pontoon at once." As there appeared no other prospect of relief, I made a merit of necessity, and helping Shamus to load the car with the valuable property I had in charge, we started together in quest of the Pontoon. When seated on the jolting vehicle, my thoughts reverted painfully to the recollection of that unfortunate young girl whose dark destiny had just swept across my own path, and nearly involved me in the ruin that had swallowed her up. I was greatly tempted to question the simple and kind-hearted fellow who sat beside me ; but calling to mind the danger I had already escaped, and reflecting how unlikely it would be that he should be able to give me any information about her, I suppressed my anxiety, and resolved to lay the case before the next magistrate I could find. With this determination in my mind, I strove to pay some attention to the merry songs and wild legends which Shamus poured forth, with a verbosity and profusion that astonished me. Ever and anon he would burst out in such snatches as — Cush la ma chree, Did you but see, How the rogue served me ? jje broke my pitcher, and spill'd my water, Kiss'd my wife, and married my daughter. Cush la ma chree, cush la ma chree. And then he would relate some dismal legend, how a fair young girl was spirited away by the fairies, and kept as a queen in a diamond palace beyond the big mountain. With these, and similar tales in verse or prose, the time passed along ; and though the horse moved but slowly, yet we arrived at last before the house of " illigant entertainment," dignified by the name of the "• Pontoon Hotel." The external appearance of this house of call bore a strange contrast to what might have been expected from the name it possessed. So far from having any of those accommodations usually found in an hotel, it could scarcely be called a house, unless the term was used with considerable latitude. Properly speaking, it was a kind of a hut or shed, which seemed leaning against the rock — the rock forming one side of the single apartment which embraced all the accommoda- tion that could be found in the Pontoon Hotel. As the night had JOLLY BOAT. 69 closed before we reached the door, the strong light of a blazing turf fire shot clearly across the road, and seemed to offer a strong temp- tation to turn in from the drizzly darkness around ; and it was not long before Shamus and myself had found our way into the apartment. As I have already said, this was the only room, and the bare hard rock formed the principal square ; the others were naked clay walls, from which arose some rude rafters, leaning against the rock ; and these again were covered with turf, which barely sufficed to keep out the rain, and were wholly destitute of anything in shape of finish or comfort. In a rude break, which formed a sort of recess in the rocky wall, was a bed, already furnished with occupants — two children being in it, five or six fowls upon it, and a pig underneath. A few yards distant was placed the horse of Shamus, where he regaled himself with a bottle of hay, for which his long walk had given him an excellent appetite. Four or five rough-looking Connaught men were lounging about, now and then speaking Irish to the landlord's very pretty young wife, who sat nursing her baby on a block near the fire, while her husband busied himself officiously with looking after his new guest. As the house contained no table, and its only stool had but three legs, I seated myself on a log of wood by the turf fire, which blazed cheerily on the hearth, and, pulling the stool before me, supplied its deficiency of legs by the use of one of mine. Satisfied with this contrivance, which promised well at such a pinch, I called to the land- lord to bring me something to eat and to drink. " And what would your honour like to take?" he inquired, with the calm assurance of having an excellent larder. " Anything," I replied, " in the shape of meat, for I am very hungry." "Mait — mait, is it your honor's axing after. Sure, don't you know that the likes of us never taste mait." " Well, then, let me have some bacon." " Bacon — and what is that but mait ?" " Have you any bread and butter and eggs," I asked, growing more desperate. " Sorrow a bit," he replied, "the rogue of a baker forgot to call; and what's the good of butter without bread." " What have you then ?" I asked — " have you anything at all?" " Oh, be aisy, my Jewell — haven't we some illigant pratees in the pot, and here's an egg the ould hen laid on purpose for you." This was certainly not the fare I should have chosen, but the keen appetite I felt made* every thing seem savoury, and I accordingly hailed the potatoes and egg with a great degree of cordiality. In went the egg into the pot of boiling potatoes, and, in a few minutes, was fished out by the hard fist of mine host, and along with a skep full of snaking unpeeled murphies, was placed on the chair before me. I asked for a spoon — the landlord shook his head ; a fork— he held up h^s out- stretched fingers ; a knife, and he reached down from the rafter a piece of rusty hoop-iron, three inches long, stuck into^ a cleft stick, and tied with a piece of thread. " These are primitive instruments," I thought, as, seizing a potato with one h