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 ^35 No. 481. 
 
 .ZaYrfs ^ 
 
 Pickled Polliwo2\ 
 
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A Pickled Polliwog. 
 
 IN ONE ACT. 
 — l:v_ 
 
 0. E. Young^ 
 
 TO WHICH IS AI>l>ifiU 
 
 A l>Ef^r'li I PTloN OF THI<:('<>S'riJMIOS-(;AST oK THH^ rR A HAO- 
 %TKi;> K.\ TKANC'IOS AND ICXITS— KKI.A'ri V 10 l'i»silM()NS 
 Ol^' THK IMOKKORMIORS ON THE STAUK. AN!) I'Hii 
 WHOLE i)V THE STAGE BUSINESS. 
 
 -X 
 
 Entered according t« act of Congress in th« year 1909 by 
 
 .\ MK^' PUBLIHHIA'G ('0.. 
 in th«: >jltice \ji ihe Librarian of Congress al Washingtou. 
 
 A^!KS' IM fnJSHlNG OO, 
 
 cL\iJU,. OHiu: 
 
• 
 
 A PWKLKD POLLlWOa. -^ tP ^ \ 
 r.-M^T OF CHARACTERS. 
 
 
 DkacON j)AVii) I)r( Ki/nv An obi f'trmer of th* ''hayxeffV typt. 
 
 Simon Pk-i'ku Poi.i.iwod 
 
 .1 Yankef btutii. i/i love with the Dcttron's thuKjfiter. 
 
 Sammik DucKioT'iY, 'riie Deacon's aa/i, a prccociims sm.itll hoy. 
 
 Sakah .1 .' -N K I'fif L)eo,-(ni\s wife 
 
 Doi.i.v Ann, His (IniKjJitn-, the object of Simon Peter' a ofrrl/ons. 
 
 X- 
 
 TIME OF PLAYING~1 hour and U minutes 
 
 X 
 
 PPiOPKR'I'IK^. 
 
 01(1 fashioned 1oung:e with g;ty c:ilico cover, sink with slielf beneath 
 and !i space next lo Floor lar^v rnougli for a person to era ! uiuler, 
 oldfashioneii tall graudla,! her's cU'cU. coi)U-sUt\e, waUM-pail and 
 dipper, lamp, tiatirons, arnica-bottle. dUI garments I'or niendino, 
 basket oi" wiiite clothes for ironing, shawl and hat with a lon^ iiat- 
 pin, booljack, table, brootn, goad-stick, looking-g'lass, oUi-style 
 blunderbnss for the Deacon. 
 
 X 
 
 COSTUMES. 
 
 Deacon.— Short and stout, iron gray wi«:, cut off square around 
 tlje neck, urizzled full beard, face and hands deeply sunburned. 
 Wears a urav suit, patched and faded, blue overalls lucUeil into the 
 lejis of riil)ber boots, blue woolen stockings with white toes, and a red 
 flannel shirt. On first entrance lie w^ars a rough, dark overcoat 
 with the collar turned up, a furcap, thick mittens, and a red wooleu 
 muffler about his throat. 
 
 Stmois Pktku. — Tall, lanky and awkward; thin, rather long sandy 
 liair, oiled anil plastered down snu": to his head and a small blond 
 mustache. Wears a white shirt with higli standing ct)llar and red 
 tie, a black brocaded velvet waistcoat with large Howered desitfii, a 
 blue swallowtail coat wii.h brass buttons, too small aiul very short 
 in the sleeves, tight trousers with witie stri|)esor alternate white and 
 wrav, much too short m the leg, calfskin bcH>tsand red W(.)olen stock- 
 tngs,' and on entering, a dark blue cloth cap pulled over his ears. 
 
 Sammie. — As young as possible— red lui.ired, sliock heatird and 
 very freckled. Wears a patched jackev, badly outgrown, pants \\ ith 
 black patches on seat ami knees, and tlie legs barely coveiing the 
 calves, woolen stockings with wide stripes of iiitcrnate red and white, 
 trodden-over shoes. On first entrance he wears an old black frit hat 
 on the back of his liead, sloping siraight down from crown to brim, 
 ear-Haps sewed to the sides witli dangling black strings attached. 
 
 Sauah .Iank. — Tall, spare an<l wears glasses; brown hair, parted 
 in the middle and combed smoothly back, covering the ears, and 
 o-athereil into a "pug"' at the back o;f theneck;a neat calico wraj^per, 
 checked ginyham apron ami a* white collar fastened with a large 
 cameo breastpi n. .' 
 
 DoM.Y —Short and plump, blonde hair becomingly arrani^ed. a 
 neat brown house dress reaching to the ankles, a, coqnci lisli while 
 aprt)n, wliile lace at throat anil wrists, a knot lu" bliu- ril)l>on a i h.-r 
 neck and a wiile one of the same siiade around her uaisi. 
 
 ©CI.D 17419 
 
j\. Pickled Polliwog. 
 
 SCENE— Deacons Duckkttt's kitchen — doo7-s r., l. ti7id in flat, c.; old- 
 fashioned lounge h. c. ; Long sink u. c, toith waler-puil and dipper on 
 «nd next toe d. ; oUI fashioned tall clock in r. corner: cook stove in 
 L.. corner with Via /ltd behind if on which are flutironn, arnica hot He, 
 etc., table in, front of stove, ivilh. lii/hted iimp upon it; hat, shawl and 
 boot-jack han(/in(/ on icoll behind stove: flat clothes basket under sink, 
 and chairs ad lUntnm Saijah Jajsk iind I)om,y discovered seated- at 
 table inendinq, as ear tain risfg. 
 
 Sarah. Simon P^ter Polliwosr's gittin' pooty sweet oh ye, aiii'l )ie 
 Dolly? 
 
 Dolly, (bending loicer over ic<i»rk) Goodness saUes, no. ma I What 
 niiikt'S ve think so? Mr. Polliwoii and I are jest good friends thai's 
 all. 
 
 Sarah. Good friends! HnniphI I kepi my eye on him :it the 
 picnic t'other day, and he got three Lwisis in that lony neck (.' his'n 
 tryiii' not to loose sight of ye. He's i^oi it pooty bad. if I'm anv 
 jedge of poultices. 
 
 Bolly. [indignantly) Simon P<M er ai n't a poul I ice. He's so bash- 
 ful, 1 know he acts kind o' soft sometimes, but he's not a muslaid 
 poultice. 
 
 Sarah, (dryly) Yes, thai's what I meant— a mustard poultice. 
 Don't y« feel kind o' drawn lew him? 
 
 Dolly, (bending loioer) Course rmt. ma; I'm neither a h\\(- nor a 
 fellon. even if Simon Peter's ;i pouliice. 
 
 Sarafi. All right; then we won't have hijii hancjin' round here 
 wastin' wood an' ile. I'll have the Deacon bounce him the next 
 time lie comes. 
 
 Dolly, (anxiously) Oh, ma! I —I wouldn't. 1 — I guess 1 must 
 sort o' like U\m—(ha.it.ily) jest a little bit. 'round the edj-es. 
 
 Sarah. But do ye love him, that's what I want ter know. This 
 thing's o-ot, tercome to a head pretty soon, or we'll try suthin' besides 
 a Polliwofr {»ouiiice. 
 
 Dolly, i^hesitating and stammerinq) I — I dunno, ma; I feel dretful 
 funny sometimes— but you know lAe been e.vpo.sed to the nie;isles. 
 
 Sarah. Shucks! There ain'i no i;reat resembhince between the 
 symptoms of measles an' matrin\ony, an' you've got ler niaice up 
 your mind which you're comm'down "with, rwani ter kn(.w 
 whether to send for a doctor or a minister. For the last time, do v« 
 love him ? 
 
4 
 
 A riCKLbJU FOLLIWOG. 
 
 Dolly, {despeyctely) 1 —I guess so, ma; V — I feel all kii)d o' foolish, 
 somehow. \ynjyles wildly atid Iddeafaceiu her work 
 
 Surah. {With .i,i//.s/'iirtio/i) All right llieii — if he'll oiil.v come to 
 th« p'iut, Suuoii IViers a yood likely feller, an' his falher's worth 
 property: s»> I diinno biiL ii uiiglit as well be him as anybody — if he 
 only mentis business. If he don't, 1 Uin speak to the I)eaci>n at any 
 time. 
 
 Dolly, [oii.vlouxly) Don't let pa interfere, ma; I think every thing'll 
 be all riglii. 
 
 Eiiler Sammik Duckettt, c. b., unseen by Dolly and Sakah. 
 
 I feel sal-till Simon Peter'li pop like a tirecracker, if I only say match 
 to him. I shall be turnin' into a Polliwog; the first thing yon know, 
 ma. [t/ig(/le» 
 
 Suininie. {aside) She's got a month more like a fnllgrown Irog 
 
 JSarah. Well, I'll let ye manage iliings aleetle longer, but remem- 
 ber! Simon Peter's got ter step right np to the dough-dish ersuthin's 
 goLn' ter be done. Is there any light in my room, Dolly? 
 
 Dolly. Yes, ma, I carried one in just before supper. 
 
 Sarah. Then I'll go in there an' write a letter Don't forgit ter 
 huiiy np yt-r courtin' business, now. (e.vtt l. b. 
 
 Dolly, [arranging hair and collar at glass) I didn't dare tt> lell her 
 I was t-xpectin' Simon Peter in to-night. If she and pa'll only go 
 to bed early, mebbe I can git it all fixed up. There! I reckon I look 
 all right now. 
 
 Sanunie. {c^mes down) There you air, makin' faces in the glass. 
 agin, (jioin' ter have a beau to-night, ain't ye, Doll? 
 
 Dolly, {.starts, turns hastily) Land sakes, Sanunie Ducketty I How 
 ye stai-llt'd me! My heart's bobbin' all around my throat. 
 
 Santtuce. yaddt) Dress so tight they squoze it up, 1 s'pose. 
 
 Dolly. Say. Sammie, how do I look? 
 
 Saniniie. Look? As if you'se got up for a joke. Simon Peter's 
 cow in' over courtin' ter-night, ain't he, Doll? 
 
 Dolly, (turns hastily away) Course not, you silly boy. If Mr. 
 PoUiwog does happen to drop in, it will b« nothin' but a friendly call. 
 
 Sanu/i/t'.. Pretty darn friendly, I reckon. The last time lie was 
 here 1 i)eeked in the winder an' se« him measurin' his arm on your 
 beU-ribbin. Is he goin' ter pop ter-night? 
 
 Dolly, {confusdd) Why — no indeed 1 What makes you ask sech 
 foolish questions? 
 
 Sammie. I bet he is. I beared ye tell ma ye thought ye could 
 make him pop. I'm goin' ter hide in the room somewhere an' hear 
 him poi). 
 
 D'dly. No, you shan't neither. Hold your tongue an' go to bed, 
 or I'll liide you in a way yon won't like. 
 
 {dives at Sammie, who dodges around table 
 
 Sammie. Oh, Doll, do let inel I'll never let on — so Simon Peter 
 won't know he's pop|ied to two of us. 
 
 Dolly, [seizes him) You awful boy! {cuffs him) Now go to bed. 
 
 San'iMie. {breaks loose and runs L.) Stop whackin' my whisker- 
 patch! (feeifface) If I was only padded as much as you are, ye might 
 maul me till yer old fist got sore. 
 
 Dolly, {rushes at him again) I'll teach ye to tell tales out o' school. 
 {cuffs him) Now hold yer tongue and go to bed. {flings him off 
 
A PICKLED POLTAWOO. 5 
 
 ^ammie. {rnnx k. ) I'll pav ve for ilint, yon mean old thinj,'. vohI 
 hamnieriiii: m.v liair-oi-clia.nl lliat way ler iiothin': {feehfa^c nguh* 
 
 Dolly. ( ponds «///' K. ) Cii I. .' 
 
 Savimie. ^'es, I'm goii)', but if that PoIliwo<f o' yoiirii CtJine.s flop 
 pin' 'round (his way ter-niglit. he'll git hisself inter what he calls 
 the biiigest kind of a pickle. He'll wish he was a fullgrow n bullfrog 
 an' the old gander had him afore he gits away. 
 
 D^>Uy. Do you want yer ears boxed agaiu, ye little sarpint? 
 
 {starts for him 
 
 SinuniK. iluntUy) Ye needn't bother — I'm goin'. Keep yer old 
 beau uearyoii, though, or I'll have revenge for my bruised and 
 blightHd whisker-crop, {feels fac4, DohLY durtjt at /mn) I'm goin', 
 ^ ■'^'ly ■ {hmstily opens door 
 
 Dolly. Be off, I tell ye! (runs him off k. e. 
 
 Enter Dkacon Ddckettt, c. e.. muffled in fur cap, mittens, scarf, etc. 
 
 Deacon I'll break that air Si me Pole Polliwog in tew an' throw 
 awav both ends o' him— by uum, I will! ()ld plugs, indeed! (calls) 
 Hary! Sary.lauf! Sary Jane Ducketly! come here, quick! I'm so 
 mad I ^^hall bust or bile over. (.)ld plugs! {tkrofct< down milltns and 
 yntiffli^r, nngrily, cala) Sary Jane! Oh, 1 shall coml>usticate, I kiiow 
 1 shall! ithr^ies cup) Why, where on airih is the woman? {yells) 
 Sarv .lane! 
 
 Enter Sarah Jane, l. s. 
 
 Surah. Why Deacon Ducket l.y ! what is the matter? Be ye tryin' 
 ter holler tlie roof off, or what ails ye? Ye look turribly roused Up: 
 shan't I give ye a dose o' salts? 
 
 Deacon, (furiously) (live a man salts when he's jest been sassed 
 till he can't see out o' his eyes! Old plujjs, indeed' 
 
 Sarah. Land sakes! wiio's been sas.sin' ye. Deacoti? 
 
 Deacon.. If I had him here now, I'tl fix him all ready ter stuff 
 sassessetigers with- by gum I would! 
 
 (stampx up and dotc/i and strikes jistx logether 
 
 Sarah. The idea! What a way that i.s ter talk about a feller- 
 crealures vitals! Ca'm yourself. Deacon! ca'm yourself! 
 
 Deai-on. {impHu0Usly\ ("a'ni myself— when I've been through 
 enough to start ihe temper of a niea laxe! Ca'm myself- -when the 
 'name.s I've been called would raise thehairon a yeller tomcat's back! 
 
 Sarah. Land o' liberty! 
 
 Deacon. Not much I won't ca'm myself! I'll chaw him inter 
 shoestrings if it costs m« a dollar an' forty cents for breakin' the 
 pif'ces. {smites fisu- 
 
 S,irah. The idee o' a Deacon an' a father threatenin' ter use a 
 fellerbein' like that -whilli(jui stoppin* ter see if he's washed his 
 face an' haJids or not! David Duciv»'ity. I'm 'shamed o' vo. 
 
 Deacon. See here. Sary Jane, jest let me be judge o' what is meek 
 an' fit tin' for a deHCon an" a fath»*r. 'Diere's some things that flesh 
 an' blood can't si:i n", an' this is one of 'em. Ain't Sime Pete Polli- 
 wog sweet on our Doll? 
 
 Sarah. Yes, he is; dead gcine on her. I reckon they'll make a 
 matcli on it. 
 
 Deacon, {in a rage) He shan't liavr h«*r! See here, old UuU ! lye 
 
6 A PTCKLED POL L I WO G. 
 
 iXi)[ !i litlle grain o' s<Misr, if I did m;u-i-y yon. I sny tliey shan't 
 miiUf a nialch on it. 
 
 S-jnili. Land saUes! why nol? Old niuii Puili\\o<;"c5 woilh 
 prtipf rly. 
 
 l)e<ti-oii. {ohsti nateiy) I iloii't ke^er. Sinu' Prip's ih«» \efy relief 
 CiiMf'd us ilieni names. 
 
 SiiViili. [xiirprisni) Ye dou'l sa}' so! ^^ iiy, itr secins ItM' lliiniv 
 f*\ ery I liinii' o' our l)un. ll dttn'i si'<-iii pos^ibh' lie > Uccii sassiri" hei* 
 pa hh' nia Lhr way ye SHy. Be \ »■ sure ye ain't ni isi :i kcu '' 
 
 Dent-on. {poxitively) 1 ain'i njislaken. Ye Know 1 jcsl went over 
 L«r the store a minute aller suppf-r? 
 
 Sarah,, {sarcuaticdlly) 'Fraid 1 nni^ht waul an arm I'ul o" wood or 
 a pail o" water, I s'pose. Yes, 1 Ivuow it. 
 
 Df'tico/i. Hm! {dinconcertfci) Now don't go ler ginin'yer l>:i(k 
 up, Siiry Jane I'd jest got up on the pi;izzy when Sime I'.ie an' 
 Jim Skinner come erlon»-. 
 
 Sarah.. What possessed 'em tcr sass ye, Deacon ':" 
 
 Deacon. It was pooty dark n\ here I was, an' they nc\ ^-r m-cu ni''. 
 .lest as I hey got opi)t)Sile, I hf-ared Jim say, "I s'pose ye'vc ni:ide up 
 yer minti tcr t;ike Dolly for i;;ui»d. ain't ye".' 
 
 Sarah. Massy on usi .\n' what did Simon Peter say '.' 
 
 Deacon. "Dolly's a pooty si ick-luoki n' kiiul ot" a crili'M-." saitl lif, 
 "But I elarsn't take lier. Her father 'an mother are hoth rt'-la.r old 
 plufts, an' 1 s'pose she will be as S4»c)n as slie's a. liult- uUlrr. "" 
 
 Sarali. [aiKjrily) Tlie idee o' his callin' you an' me old plugs! 
 '^fhe Iwo-faced scampi 1 don't blame ye for wantin' ler smash him. 
 What «lid ye do then'? 
 
 Dcai'on. Why, nothiu'. I didn't fairly come ter my sen.ses till 
 Lhem two fellers was out o' hearin', so 1 come right straight home. 
 
 Savtiii. An" 1 was iryin' ter help things altjng between Simr Pete 
 an' D()lly i<uly this blessed evenin'; mebbe at the very minute he was 
 callin' mr mi old plug! He oughter have a plug put in that mouth 
 o" his'n. an" a monstrous big one it would take to stop it, to. {goes 
 to R. 10. iiikI ralU) Dolly I Doll! C'omo down a minurr. 
 
 Deai'oii. {rtlliiKj) Yes, come (Jown an' hear what, yer best Polli- 
 nog is Icllin" about yer pa an' ma. [calU louder) Dolly, Doll. I say I 
 I'm a plug an' \fV ma's a plugger. {s<-r,'inns) Dolly! Why, tin- gal 
 must be undrr the bed with her ear^ in her pocket, {roars) Dtdly! 
 
 hjiiier Dot.i.Y \K. K., croxHex to c. idiile speakiny. 
 
 Dolly. Sa.kes alive! wljat's the nmipus".' Ma. be you crazy? 
 How ye bellerl The nei<:hbor's '11 think there's a parlyment of 
 lunatics round somewiiere. 
 
 (Sammik /////.n head cautiously in k. v.. -he ix on his hinds »i,d knte.n. 
 
 Sarah, (anyrily) Dolly Ann Duckelt.y, ify« ever lia\e an\lliitj|^ 
 more ter say ter Si me Pete Polli w og, I'll skin one tael pole a fore I die, 
 an<l don't yer forgit it. 
 
 Deacon, {enrai/ed) Dully Ann Ducketty, i f ye have any I hi ng more 
 ter say ler Sime Pete Polliwog. Ill make his head rattle like a bag 
 o' noggins' an' th>n't ye forgii it. 
 
 Sanimie. {aside) Looivs as if the poor Polliwog had fot inter hot 
 water. 
 
 Dolly. Why, what's the matter willi Simon Peter all at once'.' (to 
 S.\HAHj You said he was a nice, likely fellow only a little while ago. 
 
A mCKLKD POLLIWOG. 7 
 
 ma. 
 
 Sarith. (in u r<((/t') Uc's ;i, li;il l-b;i Ivrd don^lilicud chuck full o' 
 iass- (lia,t,"s vvhaL lie is. 
 
 Sai/iiuie. {aaide) IT iIw.nM linisiitul bakiii«; li i in, wouldn't lie have 
 Veen a piel 
 
 Deacon, {contanpttioii.sli/) lie's a livin' pair u" loiij^s, lh;il's what 
 he is. His le^.s run clean u[) aniongsl, his slioulderljUules. 
 
 Suninue. {ti.side) He'd be iwins if il wasn't lor his paper eullar. 
 
 Deacon. Don't ye bo much as look at him after tliis. 
 
 Saynintc'. (ai^ide) 'Fraid I he sii;ht 'II turn her st u ni ui ick. 
 
 D«lUj. But-but w1j> not, Pa'.' What lias poor Simon Peter done ? 
 
 Sarn/i. He called yer pa an' me names, the sassy scamp! 
 
 t^aninue. {aside) Jest as mad as if they didn't have an\ naiiics! 
 
 Doily, (icit/i spirU) I don't believe it. He's too much uL a i;eiii le- 
 nian. 
 
 Dfdcon. He did. 1 beared him witli mv own ears. 
 
 Saniniw. {<i-'<ide) Didn't know biil he borried a pair. 
 
 Dolly. I don't care, there must hv s(»me mistake. Simon Peicr 
 thinks tutf much o' me ter call my pa an' ma names. 
 
 Sai-ii/i. He did, an' the Deacon beared him. Don't yee\er speak 
 ter him ai;'in. 
 
 Dolly. I shall too. I'm goin' ter promise ler marry him jesl as 
 soeii as he asks me, an' I think thai '11 in- po.iiy soon, lew so nowl 
 
 i^n/nniif. (aside) Slie uiusli be iidiiit:' HsIhiil; lor Polliwoi;s. 
 
 Deacon. (furwUMly) Ve siian't do ill ^ e slian't do it! 
 
 Sarah, {passionately) Ye shan't I ye shan't! 1 say ye shan't! 
 
 A'/<i«;7' Simon Pktkr Polmwog, c. e. 
 
 Simon. Good-evenin', folkses what ye devvin' ".' Ha\ in' a caucus? 
 
 Sarah, {lifts hands in astonishment) Simon Peter Ptdliwog in my 
 house! 0( all things! 
 
 De.icini. ^'es, we are bavin' a. caucus. We'st; caucnssed you right 
 up hill an' (b)W n. 
 
 Saniniie. {aside— rubbiny hands tuytiher yUefally) Oil glory! It's 
 Simon Peter, and pa an' ma are bolh loade.d lu the muzzle lor Pt)lli- 
 wog. There'll be fun alivr 'round this 'ere ranch afore the next 
 half hour's over. 
 
 Dolly, {terrifitd, icrinyiny hands) Oli, Simon Peter, what made ye 
 come ter night? Pa an' ma liave made some dreadful mistake, an' 
 Yn\ 'fraid they'll dosomethin' they'll be sorry for. 
 
 Saniinie. {aside, in res/ a cy) Pa'll dew suthin' Simon J*eter'll be 
 sorry for if he lams him (uice. {rubhiny hands) Jiminy Christmas, 
 1 hope be will! 
 
 Simon, (to DoLi-Y, tnatrhiny her hand) Youdarlin'! Then ye dew 
 keer suthin 'bout my feelin's after all? 
 
 Deacon, {shakes fist mt hint) How dare ye make love ter my darter, 
 right afore my face an' eyes? Git out o' my house! 
 
 {ailt.fiices leith fists donblcd 
 
 Sarah. How dare ye make Ionc ter oui- Dolly rii^ht under our very 
 n<»ses? Git onto' tliisor it'll l)e ihe worst f.-r ye. {advances on hnn 
 
 Sitinniie. (glrcfully. asid.r) They're goin" fer him! 1 wouldn't be 
 in the Polli wog's place fer a ii \ I li i n;;. \-aiise he's goin' ler i)e in lobs 
 o' places at. a lime in jesl a m i n ii If. 
 
 Simon. [Oarhiny cjf') Hold on! Keep oil! Oh Lordy! thi.s is a 
 
/ A PWKLKD POLLIWOQ. 
 
 picklp ao' no iwistakf. 
 
 Deaeon. C/onie! %\\, out «»' here alore 1 lambaste ye one*. 
 
 {threuUns ?iiin 
 
 Sim0n. Hold on, 1 sar! Givf a feller time ter explain. I hais't 
 said nothiii' 'boiil vou pe(>ple. 
 
 Surah. Oh, you scamp! I'll <loiir5»^ ye fer telliii' thai- si.ory. 
 
 {niiatc/us up dipper and get» lealtr from pail 
 
 t'Stinimir. (aside, chuckting, wagging head and clapping hn ads) Go it, 
 nia! Soii.se him good! A feller as much in love as he is, needs 
 Goolin" off. 
 
 Sui-iili. Look out. Deacon, I'm goiu' ler sozzle him. 
 
 [Uirows water at SiMON, who dodges, and the water hits Sammik 
 
 Samtnie. (aside) 0-oo-ot>h.' {bloic.f leuter out of mouth und .shakex 
 himself) Halleluyer! aiu't that cold: She ducked the wroii^- duck 
 that time. [drawn back ant if atght 
 
 Deac«n. Wall, by gum, Sary Jauf, ye ilid throw by liiai nose, 
 didn't ye": He won't dodge me quite so easy. (<^ Simon) llcie. 
 you Poliy-lrog*'. Stick thai uose o" vouru ouL doorsa»' toller ii home, 
 ©r I'll stick a tew inche.** of it iu the fust snowdrilt 1 can find. 
 
 [adva7ices again 
 
 S//uoti. {backing 0j'. but offering to defend hiiu-selfy I ain't done 
 uuthin", an' 1 won't jo till yegive me, a chance to explain. (Sammiw 
 p0kes head in at n. i&. again) Don't ye dar.st ter lay a finger on me. 
 for when I gii in a pickle o' lhi» sort, I'm a desprit man. 
 
 Deacvii. Oh, ye won't go, will ye? Wait till [ git my ox-goad an' 
 I'll giv' ye all the fight ye want. {exit c. e. 
 
 Sarah. There's goin' ter be murder committed, an' me vviiljouta 
 thing ter tlefend myself. Where's my broom? {exit i,. k. 
 
 Sammif. {aside) O-ooli ! {sJiivers) Wish the rest would clear otit 
 so 1 Could oil to the fire. Seems as though I should friz up an' crack 
 o [le n . ( bloic» on finger f 
 
 Daiiy. t^uick, Simon Peter! Don't stop to argue with 'em now; 
 they're loo mad to listen te ye. Run for yer life, and leave me t» 
 p;ic,if_\ |)ii and ma. 
 
 Sivi/>ii. {desperately) I can't. Dolly, there's ■suthin' 1 must say ter 
 ye afore I can go home. ' I know I'm in a (ireMe pickle, but I shall 
 ceriinly s[)ile if 1 don't lell ye what ".son my mind thi.s evenin'. 
 
 Doll}/. I'M have to set up till the folks have gone to bed, then you 
 can c«>mf* back an' tell me all ye wani to. I'll set the lamp in the 
 window when it's all safe. {fimdle.f htm q. 
 
 Simon, ril do it, but if the old follvS c;itch jus h.M-e agiw, it'll be 
 a worse pickle than ever. 
 
 Sainnuf. Guess it will, an ulrniglit> no-ss .." pickles. 
 
 Dally, {anxiously) Quick I or you're a gone Polliwog. Oh, you're 
 loo late! (wrings handx) Here they come. 
 
 Enter Dkacon, c. e. with o.t-fiuud mid Sakau, l. k. loith broom. 
 
 Deacon. I'm back ag'in with a good Lough goad-stick, and a. brae 
 in it long enough ter pin a feller like ye right up on the wall ter dry. 
 
 (flourishes flonl-.siick 
 Sarah. Yes, an' I've goi my broom. It's an old thing, bui it'll 
 do ter knock out what- few brains you've got. 
 
 (both advance on SiMOM, brandishiinf weapons 
 Simon, (terrified) Yes. yes, I'll go an' when ye catch me in 
 
A PWKI.KI) P0LL1W0G. 9 
 
 another such pickln. ye can nail my hide up on the end o' the barn 
 like a (h-ieti skunl<.sUiii. (makes for c. b. 
 
 Deacon. Good-bye old jian.lei-legs: Here's one jab afore ye go, 
 jest for luck. 
 
 Deacon bradt him ta he goes throagh door. Sahah kit» him with hroom 
 and drives hal down over htn eyes. Simon letK out JkhcI. 
 
 Simon. Oh, oh! {exit v. k., yelling 
 
 Samiiiit'. (a«ide, chucldiny and rubbing handt) Flopped when pa 
 speareil iiim, jest like any »»tl)er sucker. 
 
 Deacon., {comet doicn) IMierel Sary Jane, that feller won't trouble 
 us ag'in rif;ht away. He's started for home with three-qiuirters of 
 an inch o' bradliole in liis cU»thes. {leans ox- yo ad. agnnist -nnk 
 
 Sarah. No, I reckon udI. {looks at broom) This broon^ set'ins all 
 right, must have been sulhiu' else I lieared crack. 
 
 {stands it in corner, \.. 
 
 Dolly, (aside) Poor Simon Peter, he can't be feelin' very happy 
 'bout now. 
 
 Deacon. Git ter bed as soon as ye can, Dolly. I've got tev haul a 
 load o' hoop-poles ler-niorrow, an' I want ter siari airly. 
 
 Dolly, {uneasily) You an' ma better go now, then. 1 ani.st stay 
 up a while an' iron these clo'es. They're froze stiff out on the line, 
 an' they'll all be snapped ter pieces if 1 don't take 'em in. i won't 
 be long. {takes irons from. she(f and pnf.s tUeyn on stove 
 
 De<(Con. All right, I'll turn in. {get.t boot Jack, pidls off boots and 
 puts them under lounge, then hangs up bootjack) Come, Sary Jiine. 
 Good-night. Dolly. {exit l. S. 
 
 Sarah. I haven't finished my letter yet. but I guess I'll let it go 
 till ter-uiorrow. Good-night. Dolly. Don': set up tew long. 
 
 Dolly. All riglit, 1 won't, ma. Good-niglit. (/uvit Sakah, l. E.) 
 There! now I'll go our an' get them clo'es- long ;i.fi>re thev 're ironed, 
 pa an' ma'll be fast asleep an' I can show a light ft)r Sitnon Peter. 
 It's cold 'nough to bust eggs 'most anywhere to-night. The poor 
 fellow must be sufferin' out there in the dark. 
 
 {tukes clothes basket and exit c. K. 
 
 Sammie. {comes forward, gramb/ing) So I've been sufferin' but 
 nobody cares anything 'bout me. I can have my fact washed out 
 of a two-quart tiiitper when ilie mercury has dropped so low the bot- 
 tom's knocked out o' the thermometer, but that's all right. I can 
 hump up an' creep in a cold stairway till my stummick feels lik» 
 an icecream freezer, an' it only serves me right, but jest as soon as 
 the 'postle Polliwog is out in t[»e dark witli the brad tew an' ox-goad 
 stuck amongst his vitjils. it's cruelty to animals, {goes to stove and 
 warms hands) Tliere. that feels better, I s'pose Doll an' her beau'll 
 be holdin'a secret session pooty soon, an' I want ifv "tend it. 
 Where can 1 hitle".' (looks around) 1 guess tlie best place is under 
 tlie sink, (goes i.. ) Hullol pa's Polliwog spear, {takes np ox-goad) 
 I'll take it along, it may come handy. {crawls under sink from, i.. 
 
 Enter DoiiLY, c. B. , with basket of clothes. 
 
 Dolly. My, but it's cold out! I e.xpect Simon Peter'll b« so cold T 
 might MS well be courted by an icicle an' done with it. 
 
 { pnts basket in rhair by tahh . fakes ftaf-iron from stove and irons 
 
10 A PICKLKD POLUWOG. 
 
 Samnde. (peeping, atide) If ye make yer mind Ler freftj^c lew him, 
 Uif» tew o' ye will be a bysiickle. 
 
 Dolly, (ironing) Simoti Peter's a mild, unctleiisix e critter. I 
 don't see what pa an' ma can li;i\e agin l»im. 
 
 Sanunii. A few miiiuLes ago Ihey had a brad an' a broomstick 
 agin liim. 
 
 Dolly. I wonder if it's safe ter have the poor feller coin« in yet? 
 (!H>e9 I,. a,nd //.n^6'//«— Sammivo druwit hack out ofsiyht) I guess 'ti.s; pa's 
 snoriti" avva.> like a young thunderstorm, an" ma's always asleep 
 wlien her lienti strikes the piller. I'll give Simon Peter the signal. 
 [■sets lamp m wmdoic, v.) I do liope pa won'twake up an' ketch him 
 — lie miuht bust his biler. 
 
 Saiiintit. (a^iffe. peeping) Or Simon Peter'.s snoot. 
 
 Dolly. Uakex iron from xtom, puts finger in mouth, and tries it) Mercy 1 
 this iron's 'most red hoi. I can't iron u iili it till it cools off. iput-f 
 iron in, chair to eool, gets another and tries it) Thai 's better, (irons) 
 It's time thai feller was here. I'm 'fr.iid he's froze stiff out there. 
 
 Santniie. {a.udi) He was limber enough wljen tlial brad went 
 inter him. [rap on c. D. 
 
 D'dly. There he is. (runs and open.^ door) Come right in, Simon 
 P^'ter. »nly put yer feel d()\vii Ueerful. 
 
 Suniniie. i^nsidfi) Thai's so i f you don't, pa won't. 
 
 Simon. { putting head in) Where's yer pa and the goadstick? 
 
 Dolly. K^ow^ ter bed long ago. Cdme in. 
 
 Simon. (puts head in a little further) Wliere'.s yer ma and the 
 broomstick'.' 
 
 Dolly. 'J'hey're gone to bed. too. t'ome in, I say — it's all right, 
 unle.>*s ye tumble an" knock st>methin' oxer. 
 
 /i'///r/- Simon Pk'jkh. c. e. 
 
 Sanunie. (aside) I wish pa'd tiiinblean" kick sulhin. 
 
 Dcdly. Set ri^lii down. Simon Peter. I'm ironin" but ye ran tell 
 Jne anything vi- wiini lo wiiil*" I work. {turn.<< to stove 
 
 Simon, (sits on hot fiat-iron in ehair) Oh.' (leaps letldly) It's 
 hotter'n blazes: (dances about 
 
 Sftmmie. \aside, laughing) That's right, allers have the heater in 
 I he basement. 
 
 Dolly, (back to Simon) I'm so ghid. I w:is 'fraid ye'd fitjd it ter- 
 rible cold, (turns H-ith iron) Why, wliiit m:i i^t■s y^- wiiii;le so? 
 
 Sinion. Wiggle! (ii-mi sintke.s' I goi ;i.giii I iiiii consarned iron and 
 raised :», blister on me jis Idi; its a plug o' tiM'!):! rker. {dances 
 
 JJolly. (synipatkiziniily) Oh my: let^ me pul sotne anarchy lui it. 
 
 (takes bottle from shelf 
 
 Simon. No. no. no. I llinnk ye. It's better now. (wedges back into 
 corner) 1 — I rji.ther en it>y ii. {s(f uirm-^ '*'id makes fuces 
 
 Sdvimie. (aside, peeping) He does have a l<»ok of heavenly enjoy- 
 ment, t hilt's a \'nc\. 
 
 Dolly. All right. I'm clad of it. (puts bottle back) What was it 
 ye wanle*! to lell me? (sits on end orf lounge) Come over here and 
 let's talk it over. 
 
 Simon. (Ciunes slowly foricard and sits on the otiier end of lounge) Oh 
 Doily. I "most froze ter death onl there in thedark. My teeth rattled 
 like tlif loose clapboards on a pigi)eii in a noreaster. 
 
 {hiUhes nearer Doi.i.T 
 
A PICKLE n POLLIWoa. 11 
 
 Dolh/. Toil poor ff'Ilftr! What, mside you come to see nie on such 
 a ooltl night? 
 
 Simon, (agide} Now 's my time ler fire t)tf that uict^six't^ch 1 made 
 up a-purpose. {to V)o\.\.Y, ki ching iirdrfv) Dolly, my dai'liii', I love 
 ye. If ye would only be mine, the light o' yer [»reseijce wouM shed 
 — would %\\i'd -■ {aside) Oh Lordy! I've for-tol whai o<»iues next. 
 {al«ud) Would shed — {xtops and Si-riUclifi.s l(,',i<i 
 
 DoUfi. {sweetly) Keep right on with yer pretty talk. Siniou Pfi.r, 
 1 like ii. Never mind the wocxl-sheci. 
 
 Sammie. {asidr, di.sgu!<led) They're gittin' darn soft. 
 
 Simon, {as/dt) IJIast my nice speech: I can't remember a word 
 of it. {aloud, desperately, /n/r/iinij .^tdl nearer) Dolly, ye can't lielp 
 knowin' I love ye so 1 caii"i see, lie;ir, feel, taste nor smell a sinyl^^ 
 thinu but Dolly Ann Dm-U.-ity. 
 
 Didiy. {looks down bn s!i fully and p\Llx forejinyer in her month) l''ur 
 the land sal-ies, Simon Peierl ^'e nnisl fee] kind c»' queer. ^U"J'.I'>''* 
 
 Simon. Well, I guess so! Tm in an awful pickle, but i I vt-'II i»iil\ 
 sav (he word, we'll be married inside of a month, in spite o" ilip old 
 folks. 
 
 Sfonniie. (aside) Don't be to martin, sonny, I'm fjoin" t(»r iak<» a 
 liaiui in the game pretty soon. 
 
 Sinhin. { hitching up) Say, Dolly. 1 feel jes' a."« if I must hiif 
 Buihin" or bust. {puts arm nri'i/nd her 
 
 Siniiniit^. (aside) Why didn't ye stay at home and huu a sack 
 o' shorls? 
 
 Jhilly. Oh stop. Simon Pet«r! 
 
 Simon. Couldn't do it.. I forjiol m> stopper. {hnys her 
 
 Bolly. Oh, behave yt)nrself.' Quit it, I say! 
 
 Simon, {reeklesdy) I'm darned if I do. What do ye wan! mr ler 
 quit il for".' ' (hny.'^ her 
 
 Dolly. Oh. 'cause. I'm 'fraid you'll bust stunetiiin'. I ihoiiyht 
 I heard MMurlhin' snap then. 
 
 Sammie. (aftide) Nothin' but the Polli woir snappin' iiis teeth ter 
 keep his courage up. 
 
 Simon. That's nothin', let "er snap. There's more ilre.sses down 
 to tl)e store. (ff,,,^^ f^fy 
 
 Dolly. Behave, I say. Tell me some more [)retty thin»s like y(.u 
 was w hen you switched off onto the woodshed. 
 
 Siman. '{aside) Oh, yes, my litile poi»pin' speech. Let's see, 
 wliere was I? {acratchr.'i head 
 
 Sammie. (aside) The fool's forg(»l his spellin'-lesson. Reckoji 
 I'd orter tucli liim up a lil lie. (rnutiouMly rencfns for him n-ilh (/ood 
 
 Si)non. nside) Oli. y.-s. I know, (nloinl) Doily . darii n". I to' very 
 to\lch (■»' your fair white hand is eni>Ui:h ler make rue feel like 
 (Sammih; hrnds him in leys Tliundi-rl [m,il,fsf,ire. juinpn <iitd yruhs (eg 
 
 Sammie. (nuide. lanyh-s) (iiiess \l d.tes l)y I lu- iuoks of him. 
 
 Dolly, {lays head on his sh on Id er) Wli at- funny feel in 'si mustaivi* 
 youl Do you have 'em very often? 
 
 {rolls eyes vp nt him lohguishingty 
 
 Simcn. You bet T del (sqnirnn*. aside) This old louii<:eHnisl lia.ve 
 splinters in il. {feels lounge) Where was I'.' Oh yes! {oioud) When- 
 ever I behohl your sweet face, il seems asif niN' swell itii; lie;irl w.MiJd 
 bust this eonfining- bos<»m. (l>iys hniid 011 breast) unless I |i;i\e ;t - 
 C^.KMMXK brads him) Halleluyer! (j't/npa and ,jra/>.s leg 
 
IS 
 
 A PIGKLtCD POLLIWOQ. 
 
 Dolly, (looktup in Simon s/V/fJt?) You miism't want to have a 
 halleluyer, dear, it's naiij;ht.v. (Simon sqinrm$ and slyly rubs leg) 
 Wliat makes yon so uneas^', Simon Peter? 
 
 Simon, (fidyeting) I jtuess I must be giltiii' nervous, {feels leg ^ 
 a$ide) Tliis tiarned old lounge has jot tieas in it. [aloud) 1 didn't 
 ("XHCtly mean a halleluyer, though — I really don't know what made 
 me say so. 
 
 Summie. {aside) I'll show ye in si minute. 
 
 {cautiously reaches out goad 
 
 Simon. I was jest goin' ter say yer lovely image tills my whole 
 goul. 1 love you better than I do — (Sammie bviids him) Christopher 
 Columbus! {Jumps and grabs leg 
 
 Dolly, {indignantly, sits up) 1 shc»uld hope sd! What doyou want 
 to love that dead old duffer for. (Simon squirms in 'pain) I wish you 
 wouldn'i wiggle round so. Sit still and go right on witl) yer pretty 
 talk, {notices ^nio-a feeling of injuries) What in the world are you 
 bun tin' after? 
 
 Simon, {hastily removes hand) N-nothin' much — it's a l)abit I 
 have. 1 allersdo that way when I'm real happy. 
 
 Dolly. I'm so glad you're real happy, Simon Peter. 
 
 {lays head, on his shoulder again and rolls eyes up at him 
 
 Simon, {aside) Oh lord, w hat a pickle! There must be a bumble- 
 bee's nest in my trousei-leg. {aloud) Of course I'm happy, my 
 love, m\ stnr — 
 
 Sammie. {aside, brads him) Gee star I 
 
 Simon. Ouch! {starts and grabs at leg. aside) There goes another 
 .stinger into me. 1 feel jest lil<e a pepperbox kiver. {aloud, as she 
 starts up and stares at htm in as/onis/nnfnt) No, 1 didn't mean ouch, 
 t mean 1 luveye more than tongue can lell. Dolly, darlin', will ye 
 be mine"' 
 
 Didiy. Sarlir), Simon Peter, {tries to crawl under his coat-collar) 
 Ask me .som'thin' harder. 
 
 Simon, (in fcxta^'y. thnaring both arms uround her) You little tluck, 
 you! Do ye actually mean ye will marry {'Skm.mis. brads hitn sar.tyilg) 
 t h « d ^ V i 1 ! 
 
 S1M0.N finys DofiLT off and capers about stage, making faces, both hand.* 
 
 to back of his trousers. 
 
 Sammie. {pokes head out) She actually does, if she means to 
 
 Dolly. Why, Sammie Duckettj! You little sarpint! 
 
 Simon, {turns on him. angrily So it's you that has been punish in' 
 my pants as full of holes as an oldlashioned cullender! Conje oui of 
 that and I'll give ye som'thin' that'll iit>ye good, {makes dicf at him 
 
 Sainmie. No, thank ye. {draws hack out of reach) I reckon it'll 
 do Me good ter stay under her*^ a spell. 
 
 Simon. 1 reckon ye will coine out when 1 git my paws on ye. 
 
 Simon drops on hands and knees and starts to dratel under «7i/t Sammie 
 hacks out the other way, reaches acrn.-is sink with oxgoad and pushes 
 xraterpfiil of on Simon Pw/VK\Cfi hin-k, then dances about stage laugh- 
 ing. 
 
 Sammie. Ye alters find Poliiwo-'* '" 'he water. Ha. ha, lia! 
 
 {laughs and ciajis ha/ids 
 
A riCKLKD roLLlWOG. . 1^ 
 
 Dolly. Oh, yoii pour dear, >oii! {///.vA^v /<> Simon Pktkk's 'issik- 
 tance) You look just like a drowned |>ii|>p\ . Come in iI\h lirt' and 
 lei nie wrinf? > ou oui. 
 
 Simon. (cr<iio/.s oat and skakea wnttr ojf'} I'll wring ilir neck of ihal 
 pesky boy -consarn his pictiir! ()n<</cc.s rush at Sammik 
 
 Suvtmie. Keep off or it'll he the worse \\n' yr] ^Ihr^titenx khu witU 
 ox-yoad) I've speared lots o' polliwojis in my time. 
 
 Dolly. {vuttheK at Sammik j'rotu oLlur stdc. »lhil,y» him and boxes hit 
 ear.f) Oh, you naughty, wicked boy I AVh;ii lio \«)u mean by suzzling 
 my Simon Peter and stickin' him all full o* goadsticks? {euffshivt 
 
 Samniie. Oh, let me lone, Doll, and stop hatmnerin' my hair- 
 orcliarill (feels face) AH *pi»stles have ter be baptized, an' ih.iih all 
 1 ilone ter Siiiu)n Peter. If ye don't stop, I'll holler for pa, siiid tlien 
 what" II become of yer PoUiwog? 
 
 S/tnon. {frii/htened) 'L'hai's so, Dolly. Let the little rapscallion 
 go afore he get's me inter a worse pickle than ever. 
 
 Dolly, [anyrily) I'veagooil mind to wallop ye and let you holler 
 all you're a. mind to! (v/taX-^« Sammik) The idea o' borin' my beau 
 full of br:idholes! {shakes 
 
 Sa/nin/e. Ye'd onghter be thankful for it, 'cause he'd never 
 popped in the world if 1 hadn't teched him up a littU-. No matter, 
 if ye want me ter holler, 1 can holler. {m<<kes as if to call 
 
 Simon, (inugonyoffrif/ht) Hold on, Sammie' Hold on! Don't 
 hollerl Lei him g*), Dolly, for pity's sjike! Only ttiink of the pickle 
 he'll git me into by hollerin' jest (Uice. 
 
 Dolly. Rut just think how the little sarpint jabbed that brad into 
 you. 
 
 Simofi. (eagerly) I never minded it a bit, Dolly; in fact I rather 
 like the feelin' of a good sharp brad once in a while. 
 
 Dolly. (^> Sammik) If 1 let you off this lime, will you be as still 
 as a mouse and go right straight up stairs to bed? What".' 
 
 (threatens him 
 
 Sammie. (covers ears xcith hands and tries to pull away) Yes, yes! 
 I'll do anything if ye'll only stop bangin' my whiskersprouts. 
 They're drove in out of sight already, and if they happen ter grow- 
 that way, I'm 'fraid it'll kill me. {feeL\ face- anxiotisly) But if ye 
 want tluit Pollivvogof your'n pickled, as he calls it. jest keep right 
 on in yer ungodly career. (prepares to call 
 
 Dolly, (anxioasly) No, no, Sammie; don't holler! Go right 
 «traigi»t up stairs and don't make a bit of noise ab(uit it. 
 
 ( lets go his sJioulder 
 
 Sammie. (goes ^. and stops at do»r) Say, Doll, I did find out how 
 they pop. and if my brad had been twice as long. I reckon that 
 junipin'-jack would have popped right out through the roof some of 
 them times. 
 
 Dolly. Up stairs with you this instant, or I'll break yer miserable 
 little neck! (rushes foi' him, 
 
 Siimuiie. (hastily) I'm a-goin' — (aside) and comin" backag'in too. 
 (to Doi.i.Y) Stay here and help Simon Pet,er phig up them brad- 
 holes, or lilt' smiiLlification may set in. (Dolly threatens him again) 
 I'm a-u«>iii'. I Ih!| ye. (exit it. k. 
 
 Di'lJy^ [III Simon Pktek, icho has stood shivering, groaning and rub- 
 binij ligs) \ nw poor, dear crii ter! How ye must suffer! f^et nn* 
 rub .-.oine m ui i oii-ialler on tliem lioles 'fore you get tlie lockjaw in 
 
u 
 
 A PICKLKD POLTAWOG. 
 
 'em. {approaches 
 
 Simon, {hueking off in alarm) No. no! I want 'em jest as tliey ar«». 
 (sautches up pail (Hid covers iiijared plid-fx) I've been wantin' a lot of 
 lioles p»inciie<i ill rnf* for a good while. 
 
 Doll, {a.ftonixhed) \Vhat for^ 
 
 Simon. VV'liv —whv — ye s^«» the (ioclor says I've ^ot a stupid liver, 
 and there's ncMhiu' in the world so good for a stupid liver as ter have 
 a lot of nice clean hradholes punched in ye. It sorte'r sels yer blood 
 ler cirkelatin'. 
 
 Dolly. Well, come up to the fire and dry yourself, anyway; y«'ll 
 freeze harder thnii a tariff ^iant, goin' luxne, unless you do. (yome 
 along. {murrlif.'i him up to stove 
 
 Simon, {couiplainingln, sets pail on sink as he goes) Oli, dear! ihis 
 is a terrible pickle. 1 b'lievf I've ifot the ai;ut» comitT on, my teeth 
 rattle like aliailstorm on a tin roof, and 1 wobble like a Good Tippler 
 when I walk. 
 
 Dollj^. You are half froze to death, already, thrit's what ails you. 
 Take off that wet coat and vest and wrap up iu my shawl, while I 
 dry them. Come, off with 'em. 
 
 Simon. Well, maybe I'tl better. I don't feel mu(di like havin' a 
 sunstroke, that's a fact. {»hivers) I've setMi hotter wriiiher than 
 this right in .1 uly. 
 
 SiMOi>i takes off coat and teat, I)or,i,Y gets shaicl and wraps hivi up. then 
 kanga coat and cest on chairs by xtore. 
 
 Dolly, {leads him to lounge) Why. how y«nir boots squash I TUey 
 m\ist bf half full of water. Take 'em off and have 'em dried too. 
 
 Doi.i.Y i/et^ boot-Jack, SiMON pu/ls off boots, Doi.T-T sets tJieru behind stove 
 
 and piiLs iiiciiy bool-jack. 
 
 Simon. I'm 'most afraid of this 'tarnal old lounj^e, but as long as 
 that lit lie imp as gone ter bed, I'll risk it. {sits on lounge ?ieTt fo.ftove) 
 If tht* Deacon catches me now, I'll be in a worse pickle than ever, 
 for I sarlainly can't run for home in my shirt-slee\ es and stockin'- 
 tVel. 
 
 Dal/y. {sits beside him) There! in)vv we can have a nice, sociable 
 lime. " fjet's see, what shall we talk about? 
 
 Simon. Anything or nothin'. (Sammik pokes head in k. e.) Oh 
 Dolly, I nuist have one good hug if I die for it the next minute. 
 
 {puts arm around her 
 
 Sammie. (aside) Hope he'll break her in tew —the mean old thing! 
 
 Dolly. Take your arm oft' my belt-ribbon, Simon Peter Folliwog, 
 Ijefiu-e you make nie l)lu.sli. 
 
 Sim"'ii. Oh, blushes be darned! You an' me is engaged and I'm 
 ^oin' to hui>- ye if I want ter. Say, Dolly, do give me a kiss. 
 
 Sammie. (as/dK) The blamed awkward lumuiox'll liave his uose 
 in her eye if he tries it. 
 
 Dolly. I won't give you a kiss, neither. Git out, Simon Peter 
 
 Poiiiwog! " {giggid' 
 
 Snnon. Dew lemme kiss ye! It won't hurt a darn mite. 
 Dolly. Me kism a real live male man? Oh, no, I daren't. 
 
 {ijtyylcs again 
 Sammie. (aside) Should think she would be soared -\nilIi a nose 
 like a seed covvcumber jabbin' at ijer. 
 
A PTCKLED POLLTWOG. 15 
 
 Simon. {eiKjerly) Wliy not? Jest one, now! 
 
 Dolly. Oh, I— I'm 'fraiil yer nuislachf'll licklc. (f/ifj^l^.t 
 
 Sc(7niaif. (ii-sidf, dUyuxted) Oh. merrv! she en n't Sfp ii when ihe 
 dew's ort'. 
 
 Simon. AVho keersi let >r tickle. {hemlx ovfr to ki.^s her 
 
 Dolly. {:fiidd('uiy puifh<'s Jam away, indifiitaiilly) Simon PtMe-r P<»Ui- 
 wog, yon'vt^ been ea,l.in" onions. 
 
 Si>/io/i. (sJiamtfully) 1 swa.nny. 1 clean loi-aot ahonl ill but. I can't 
 help w:i.ni in' ter put one la I he fly old sniaciv riohl on where i t h'hnij'.s, 
 tor all that. 
 
 Dolly. Well, ye can't - {softeniny) in)t till after yon pick yonr l«eith 
 anyway. 
 
 Simon. 1 can't <lo that, I hain't go) any toothpick. 
 
 Soniniie. (nxide) He lu^eds a i)icka ke in iWal t»H)l h-orcharci. 
 
 Dolly, {rrlcii(iiiff) Oh, 'nu)sl any ih ing'll do. Here. iakt> this. 
 
 (ttdcn lull pin oiil vf hilt and vjf't^rn ft 
 
 Si)NO)i. What's thai. a. crowbar".' Never nnnd, fork il(u»M-. 
 
 [titKts liiitfiiii and openn mouth 
 
 Sanonie. (axidc.) What a hash-trap! liookslike a (^ellar-door in 
 a bulkhead. 
 
 Dully. Don't drop it, Simon Peter, it's all the hatpin I've j^ot. 
 
 Sarah, h^ard of \..) Uolly, Dolly! 
 
 < Doi.i.v and StMOaN ,;"'/?///' up and ran ahout in constei' nation. 
 
 Simo/i. Oh. ni_\ soni! I'm in a pickle now, if I never was afore. 
 What shall 1 dew? 
 
 Suinmie. {asida} Like any other ])ickle -keep still and look sour. 
 '• Sarah, (heard off \..) Dolly. Dolly! be yt>n up? 
 
 Simon, {in terror) Answer, Dolly, for hea\en's sake! If she 
 comes in, I'm undone. 
 
 Samvde. {aside) Might have kinnvn beiirr than ter let J)oll undftvr 
 ye! 
 
 Dolly, (faintly) Yes, ma, what is it? 
 
 Sarah, {heard from off \..) What ye setlin' up till this time o' 
 night for? 
 
 Simon. Tell her it's 'most mornin'. 
 
 Dolly. Oh, I couldn't lie 'bout il— not for the world. 
 
 Simon. I'll make it the truth, then. {ru/i.s tv clock and stets it 
 ahead) There! it's all right now. Tell her, quick! 
 
 Dolly. It's halfpast four by the clock, aiul pa said he wanted to • 
 •tart early. 
 
 Sarah, {heard offi..) Why, it can't be. I haven't been asletp 
 long. 
 
 Dolly. That's what the clock says, but you needn't get up jet. 
 I'll see to everything. 
 
 Sarah, (outxide) I'd never b'lieved I'd been asleep so long-, but 
 th« clock must be right. Don't forgit to fill the teakettle. 
 
 Dolly. 1 won't, ma. Go back to l)ed and have another nap. 
 
 Simon, {draw.s a Ion (/ breath) That was a close shav«. I was so 
 scart my heart fairly shinned up my witidpipe an' danced a double 
 ishufHe in the back o' my mouth. 
 
 Sanimie. (aside) More likely 'twas tliem onions a-bilin' up. 
 
 Jhdly. It's all riizhl, m>w -thanks to your seltin' theclock ahead. 
 {admirtngly) What a smart fellow you be, Simon Peter. 
 
i6' A PI UKL hW P OLLLWOG. 
 
 Samiiue. {tigide) Yon bfl. lie's sniarL —where pa and I jabbed him. 
 
 Simon, {coiaplaeently) Oli, pretty toler'l)le. {footntepK heard out- 
 side) Lord y mighty I What's that? {ILsteiiK) She's a-corniu' ! Hide 
 me, Dolly, hide me quick, or I'll be a dead Polliwog in the inoriiiir. 
 
 Sammie. (aside) Oh, glory, here comes ma I 
 
 Dolly. Here! {drags Simon to lounge and, turns back spread) Lay 
 down on tiie lounge :in' I'll put thr .spread over you. Quick! for if 
 pa comes too, he'll punch you full o' bradhl»l»^s ayin an' kick yuu 
 out of the house. 
 
 Simon. Yes, yes, I will. Anything ter save my life an' repila- 
 tiou 
 
 Simon lays down loUh Jiatpin in /us hand, and Dolly puts spread 
 
 over him. 
 
 Dolly. There! keep still an* I guess ma won't notice anything. 
 {smuoUies spread and picks finger) Oh! {claps finger m mouth then 
 shakes U) You've stuck that pesky hatpin right up through the 
 spread. (Simon w.m'« under spread) Sh!- cion't move for your lif(»: 
 Here she is. 
 
 Dolly kicks boots under stove and throws his coat, vest and hat behind it, 
 then snatches up flat-iron, rushes to table and irons furiously. 
 
 Knter Sakah, l. k., buttoning dress. 
 
 Sarah. Good-mornin', Dolly. 
 
 Dolly, {nervous) (jJood-moinin', ma. Turrible hot. ain't it? 
 
 {irons 
 
 Sarah. Hot? Why, Dolly Ann Ducketty! I'll bet the diameter 
 is thirty inches below Zion this mornin'. (looks at clock) Itsartinlv 
 is 'most five o'clock, but it was the shortest night I ever see. 1 
 shouUl have overslept if I hadn't heard ye racketing 'round. Reckon 
 I'd better call yer pa. (goes l. a/id calls. Dolly wrings hAtinU and 
 S AMMiK (/o^.* into ecstasy, R., in dumb show) Deacon! Deacon Ducketty 1 
 
 Deacon, {heard off \.., drowsily) Yes, I hear ye. What is it? 
 
 Sarah, {calls) Wake up, Dencon! it's goin' on five o'clock an' ye 
 want to be gittin'off with that load o' hoop-poles. Come, stir yer 
 St limps! 
 
 Deacon, {heard outside) Bless my soul! Strange 1 didn't wake up 
 at four; I 'm«st allei'S do. I'll be out there in a jiffy. 
 
 Dolly, {((side, wringing hands) Oh dear! No chance to get Simon 
 Peter out of here now, an' what will happen if pa discovers him is 
 mttre than I can tell. 
 
 Sitmmie. {aside, overhearing) 1 can — a holy circus, an' don't you 
 forget it. 
 
 I£nter DEACON, L. E., in his stocking-feet and with one suspender hanging 
 down, his coat and vest in his hand. 
 
 Deacon. Well, by gum! if last night didn't go quick! It don't 
 seem as if I'd more than got ter sleep afore I heard ye callin' me. 
 {button >i.su.tpender!<) I'll go right out an' feed the cattle, an' I want 
 vou folks to have breakfast all ready when I come in. {puts on coat 
 ami vest) Where's my boots, Dolly? 
 
 Dolly, (fui'iliy) I — I dunno, pa., out in the shed somewhere, ain't 
 j|,gy V (ir^fus furiously 
 
A PWKLKD POLTAWOQ. 17 
 
 Siirah. Wliy Dolly UnckeLly! what ails ye Ihis inoniin'? {U 
 Dkacon) There they b« Mudei* the lounge, Deacon. 
 
 Deacon. C)h yes, so they be. (goes to Itmnge) 1 put V.m there my- 
 self, bnt IM forjiot. 
 
 Dolly. Oil hcav»*n.sl {drops iron and leu ii» forir<ir<f to wuich, wriny- 
 iny hu/id.s, a.-diit) if he nt»(ioes Knylhin«i I shan't [ia\p a h»*au to my 
 ii:«nie in hall' a minute. 
 
 Siirnmie. {a.nde, gleefully) And Simon Peler'll he the worst look in' 
 apostle thai ever was called an' couldn't go. 
 
 Demon qets boots ami situ on lounge to put them on, then leap.* up with a 
 giU. goes cuperint/ around .ttag* and. mbx bark of leg. 
 
 Dolly. {u->tves hands diiitr act edly) Oh, that wrelclied hatpin! 
 
 Saninue. {s/uckering, aside) Pretty spry i"or an old cod;;er, but it 
 hain't quite the tiling for a deacon to be dancinjj tiie can-can at 
 twelve o'clock at night. 
 
 Deacon, {ydling and capering) Oh, oh! I'm 3tal)bed in the vilah 
 with a redliut lightnin' rod. (Simon starts to crawl out from under 
 spread) Oh, it's a burglar! Sa\e y«rselves while 1 keep him at bay. 
 , (flits Simon leith boot and knock'* him flat again 
 
 Dolly, (screams) Oh, he's killin'him! He's killin' liini! \Vhat 
 shall I doV (wrings hands andjumpx about, knocks down. clothe.s-baskti 
 
 Sarah, (.tcrrama) Who? Th^ Deacon? Oh heavens! He'll kill 
 us tew when he gits yer pa assas^e rated. 
 
 {crawls und.Kr iable and puts the basket over her head 
 
 Saynmie. (com^es forward) 1 gue.ss pa'is all right so far. i)v ili<- w ax- 
 he's beltin" tliat Polliwo*? over the head, .liminy! I'll hrt Simon 
 Peter's liead rattles like a sack o" corncans. ilaagh-t 
 
 Dolly. For heaven's sake stop, pa! You'll mash his pour head 
 softer tlian ever. (seizss Deacon front behind 
 
 Sarnmte. (catches sight of S A HAB.) Hullo, rrta! What ye dewin' 
 under there witli yer best bonnil on? 
 
 Deacon, (struggling) Anutiier luunlar! L^t go! Wait till I ^Mt 
 my gun an' I'll .sh<tw ye what a deacon is good lor when his fight in" 
 blood is up. (bre(th!< mroy and ru^heK out c. K. 
 
 Dolly, (drags SiUOS to hi.f feet) Quick! Simon Peter, run! Scoot 
 by pa and skedaddle! He'satier ihegun! (Simon rnnac. 
 
 Enter Deacon c. e. with gun Simon lowers head and but.'* Dkacon /// 
 the xtoniarh, gun goes off, irom.en .^vYriT/i -SiMON and the Di.;aco\ go 
 over bni'kward- and lie groaning. 
 
 Dolly. (7'UN.« /<» Simon) Oh, oh! pa's blowed the sense all oui of 
 him. 
 
 Sanxniie.. No gr^-at of a blow cither, (laugh.i 
 
 Dolly, (try. t ty raise hirn) Oh ! iit's dead! Simon Peter's dead! I'll 
 never see the like of him agaiJi! (wrings hands 
 
 Sammie. Tliat's so. he's too lu>mely tor ye ever to find his eqiuil. 
 
 Simon, (struggles to feet d.azed —holdinf/lonto Jiead) Terrible shower, 
 hain't it? Anybody killeil besides me? 
 
 Sammie. Oh, the darn fool! He thinks the lightning struck him. 
 Wonder if pa knows what ails him yet. (//"f.* ti> Dkacon 
 
 Dolly. Oil. lie's alive! he's alive! He ain't even hurt. <»nlv a little 
 sleepy. WaKe up, Simon Peter. (throws hemelf into /,>.■< arms 
 
 Simon, (confused) Why, it's Dolly, ain't it'r What's the matter. 
 
18 A PIGKL KB POLL I WO Q. 
 
 Dolly? 
 
 Doily, {excitedly) Quick! Simon Peter, novv's your time to get on 
 the ri«;lit side of pa. If you can make liim believe you drove the 
 burglar off, he'll think' you're a perfect hero. Hurry up! he's 
 (•oiuin' too. 
 
 Simon. Dolly Ducketty, you're a jewel, {runs U Deacon and helpn 
 liim sit iip—SAUM.HLfallis back) Say, Deacon, did the buiuhir hurt ye 
 much ? 
 
 Deacon, {groaning) Oh dear, dear, dear! I dun no. Why, I 
 thought I drove you home. Did I shoot thai buri>iar? 
 
 Simon. Not much! 1 beared the gun g<» oft' and run in, and tiiere 
 you laid with a almighty great burglar standin" over y« with a 
 butcher-knife in his hand as long as yer arm. 
 
 Scnnmie. (a.nde) Oli my, what a thumper! 
 
 Simon. 1 111 on him like a thousand of brick, and I tell ye we had 
 it tough and tight for quite a spell. Finally I pilohed him out into 
 a snowdrift and lie lit out down the roaii like a streak of goose- 
 grease. That's the last you'll ever see of him. 
 
 Sammie. {mide. in rear) Well, by jiminy! I didn't think he could 
 lie like that. He's smarter than 1 thou<fht he was. 
 
 Beacon, (gets up) He must have been a desperit one. Why, 
 Where's yer coat an' vest, Sime? Ye didn't come over without 'em 
 this kind o' weather, did ye? 
 
 Simon, {looks down, bewildered) No-o, I didn't, (more confidently) 
 Ye see, 1 — I — why, tliey got tore off in the scrimmaae and the burglar 
 slung 'em l)ehind the stove. Guess I'll put 'em on again now. 
 
 {puts on coat and veH 
 
 Suvivtie. {aside, admiringly) Better an' better! Why, he's th« 
 gol-darndest liar in town! 1 like him lots betler'n 1 did afore I 
 l)eareil him let hisself out. 
 
 Bolly.' Wasn't Simon Peter a hero to tackle such a desperit robber, 
 pa'.' Where'd ye l)een now if it hadn't been for him? 
 
 Beacon. All "cut upand ready tercorn, I reckon. Say, Sime, how 
 come ver clothes so wet? 
 
 Sinion. {looks at clot lies) Wet? I— I— ot>, we fit so hard I sweat 
 'em all through afore I got the best o' him. I 'most melted down 
 into a grease spot. {wring* .sleeves 
 
 Sammie. [aside) Oh, cracky! he can lie by the yard or mile. 
 Beacon. What's become of yer boots? Ye didn't sweat them off, 
 
 did ve? 
 
 Simon. Boots? {losks at feet) Oh, we slid 'round so lively I snap- 
 ped 'em right off my feet and they flew clean in under the stove. 
 I'll get 'em! ' {puts them on 
 
 Sammie. {axide) He's the king of all liars, and I'm his friend for- 
 ever—in spite of my muchly-banged whisker-patch, {feels face) 
 Hope he marries Doll to-niorrow. it'll serve her right. 
 
 Beacon. Where on airth i.s yer ma, Dolly? Hope the burglar 
 didn't steal her. {calls) Sary Jane! (excitedly) Why, where can 
 
 she be? . , 
 
 Saininie. {rims forward and points) There she is, pa, squattin 
 
 under the table like a toad under a cabbage-leaf. 
 
 Beacon, {alarmed) So she is— and her head's cut off, too, or she 
 
 wouldn't have ter hold it in a clolhes-basket. Sarv Jane, if there's 
 
 a spark of life in ye, arise an' crawl out o' that. 
 
A PICKLED POLTAWOO. 19 
 
 Sarah, (faintly) Tliis jnustbe heaven and Hint's the angel Gabriel 
 a-caliin' me. {louder) Yes, here 1 bt* — vvitli in> sins on my head. 
 
 IJoli//. No, Lliey hain't neitiier, inu, nothin' but a clotlies-baskeb. 
 
 Sarti/i. SaUes alive! do Ihfv have cl<ilh('S-b;i,skets in heaven? 
 That soiimbMl like Dolly's voice — is it possible I hain't dead yet? 
 
 {peeps out 
 
 DoUtj. You're all right, ma — only you look like a Chinese god with 
 an umbrtilla on. Come out. 
 
 Sarah. He you sure the robber is jrone? 
 
 Simon, {proudly) Yes, ma'am, clean gone. I drove him ojff, I did. 
 
 Simon noills up and puts thumbs in armholet of vest — Sarah drops basket 
 
 and crawls out. 
 
 Samniie. Good boy! {a.side) It's jest as natural for him to lie as 
 it is to jump when tliere'sa brad in him. 
 
 Dolly. VVjisii't Simtui Peier dreadful biave, pa, to keep you aud 
 ma from bein' sliced up likt' bolognas? 
 
 Deacon, ^'es, he's done ama/in' well. Simon Peter, I've got a 
 bifi- lii-iulje agin ye, but I owe ye suMiin' for what ye've done ter- 
 uiglii, and David Ducketty allers pays his debts. What can 1 do for 
 
 ye- 
 
 Dolly, {aside to SiMOti) Novvs your time! Ask him to let you 
 marry me, and maybe Ije'll say yes. 
 
 Sammie. {aside, overhearing) And gt-t into a worse pickle than 
 ever, if he does. 
 
 Simon. All right, Deacon, let me marry Dolly and we'll call it 
 square. 
 
 Dearon. Well, if ye hain't got the gall -after w hat I told ye last 
 night, {to Doi.i.y) Dolly, what do ye say to that? 
 
 Dolly. I say yes, thank ye. ( puis fiiiyer in mouth and simj^ers 
 
 Dearon. Well, 1 never! (^oSakah) Sary Jane, what do you say ? 
 
 Sarah. It don't seem no mon-'ii right, after he's kept me from 
 goin' ler heaven with iwy head in a clothes-basket -but it kind o' 
 goes agin the grain after what he's called us. 
 
 Deacon. That's so; I'd clean forgoli hissas.s in this burglar scrape. 
 (<o Simon) You might have had her aud welcome, if it liadn't been 
 for the names ye called us; now ye couldn't if ye got down on yer 
 marrer-bones and ottered her yer heart and hand with a pair of 
 tongs. 
 
 Simon, {astonished) What do you mean? I never called ye no 
 names and I never will. 
 
 Deacon. Don't lie ter me Didn't ye tell Jim Skinner Dolly's 
 father and mother was iiothin' only plui;s? 
 
 Simon, (ireai scissor.s! Did ye ihink I meant yi)u and ma 
 Ducketty? We were talkin" 'i>oul .lim's little mare Dolly he was 
 tryin' \o sell me, and that 1 wouldn't have, 'cause she hadn't any 
 pedigree. We never mentioned D(»ily l~)ucketfy at all. 
 
 hfiicon. Well, by gum! I hain't been $o badly fooled since I was 
 married. Ye can have my Dolly an' welcome under them circum- 
 stauc.t's. 
 
 Simon, (jumps ar0und) Hip! hip! hoora.> ! 
 
 Simon //"^v-" ?^akah and lear.s her hair down, .simic/.-.i Dkacon (>;< end «f 
 no.se and hi.s.y<s Doi.i.v half a dozen limes. 
 
^0 A PIUKLHJD POLLLWOG. 
 
 Dolly. Behavt yourself. Simou Peterl I won't marry ye now if 
 
 ye don't quit pol<in' yer nose in my ear. 
 
 Simon.. Why, Dolly darlin', if I don't let ©tf steam somehow, I'll 
 sailinly bust. I hain't been engaged but a minute an' a half, but I 
 feel like a niornin' star By the time the honeymoon isoverl'Il feel 
 liUf feel like- I declare, ! don't know what I will feel like. 
 
 Siunrntt. {eagerly, ritnt forward) I do -l know -A PlOKLEl) 
 POLLlWOa. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 TH£ BND. 
 
 8TA(jfl£ DIM MOTIONS. 
 
 B., Means Riffht; i.., Left: h. h.. Kigfht Hand; l. h,. Tjeft Hand; 
 C, Center: s. k., ('id k. i Second Entrance: u. k.. irpp^r Entrance; 
 M. D., Middle Door: k.. the Flat; D.V., Door i»i Flat; k. c., tliwht 
 of Center; l. c, Left of C'enier. 
 
 R. R. C. C. L. C. L. 
 
 %* TJaereadei' is supposed to be upon the sta^e facing: ttie audience. 
 
 The TuiTj ol' the Tide; oi' Wrecked in Port. 
 
 A Nautical and Temperance-diaina in 3 acts, by W. Henri 
 
 Wilkins. tor 7 male and i romale characters. Nothing has been so 
 popular with amateua- companies as this. A capital negro charac. 
 ter will keep an audience in roars of laughter. Time of perfor- 
 mance, 1 houi- and 45 minutes. 
 
 i^YNOPSlS OF EVENTS. 
 
 The tishfi'uiiiirs lioiue — Reiniiii.soeufe of tlie wrfek-Tlie gatheiiti^ storm — 
 Reffreiice lo Mit^ mones -EnliaiifP o( thr Pilot -Aunt BrcUv expresses tier 
 opiuioii ol" liim LVppef (ells his stor.v — Tim suuset gun — Tlu- >toiiii lueaks — 
 Siidie'.s ?<ei-i-<'t — Pepper striu-U b.v liglitiiiiiff — Sig:iial of <li.slre.ss on Uk" wiiter — 
 ( l.vde's proposal 'I liave tlie power!" — Li'lian'.M seeret — "Wliy inhii 1 tlie! He 
 lias forfeitei) all claims to honor or resspei't, ami liupele.-..sl_v ea.st me off, yet 
 notwitlistaiidinfj all lliis, 1 love liinr" — Entrance ol Clyde— "You tiere? Be>;Oiie 
 and let your lip.s be wealed, or I'M cut out your qiiiveriuy heart ami throw it to 
 the tislies wlio sport in yonder deep " Cl>de's •.uli!i>quy -"Ah. Capt. St. Morris, 
 a fig for youi" gilded castie« built on air" — Pirji tes rol> the lujuse— P'risky'ji .-oin - 
 tnuniugs — She mid Pepper liave a little lalliu^ out-lr'f pper'.s pursuit of Ifuow- 
 ledge under the table— Clyde shows his colors ajul pUiys his first card — "Then 
 my aiiswsv must be yes, thon-h it breaks tli** heart of my ehild" -The old inati 
 tries to drown hihi sorrow -Pep vie v ;>oes for dams Entrance of Lillian — -'Yes. 
 pirate though you are. aud clncii.iiu of thf hnnifil crew, I love yon still! The 
 time will come when you will find 1 am the trii<-st fiiend >ou ever had" — Aunt 
 Beeky relieves herself of a few ideas and Pepper j;ives her a lew more — Thf old 
 tishermau falls a vietiua to intfinperauee. and .Ainit Becky exv>resses her 
 opinion of "sich doiiis"— Meeting of Clyde and St. Morris — The combat — Death 
 of Clyde — "Oh, Heaven! I am his wife" — Tableau — One .year later — Company 
 expected — Pepper hasn "wery curis ' .Iream -Capt. St. Morris relates a story 
 loi^usie — Love-inakiug interrupted l>y the old lishenuaii — His resolution to re- 
 form — Aunt Beeky thinks she is "Slurred"' — Lillian oomnoine.s with her own 
 thoughts — The Colonel arrives Pepper taUes him in eharg-e and relates a won- 
 derful whaliUK story — Restoration of the stolen money — "The siiine face, 
 Hearens! f i-anuot be mistaUen" •Its all out'" The Colonel finds a daughter 
 -He tells the story of his escape from the wreck — Old friends meel- The 
 Colonel's proposal and acceptance "Kress de Lawd !"— Happy end in?, witk 
 song and chorus, "Wait fob thb turn •r thb tidb." Price, locts. 
 
Patsy O'Hare; 
 
 — OE- 
 
 The Shamrocks of Ire- 
 land. 
 
 An Irish drama in 4 acts, bij IVios, J. Finnijan.for 9 male 
 
 and 3 female charade rs, (can be doubled to 8 
 
 male charade h.) Tnnc of playing, 1 
 
 hour and 15 minutes y 
 
 SYNOrSLS OF EV HINTS. 
 
 ACT r. — Villa.ffp Inn — Palsy ami Kariiey — "There's hot Mmps com- 
 ing" — Norah — "VVliat do you mane by (jailing me ouUI l.iilii'r 
 names" — The organizt-r of Ribbonmen — Oweji and Dorjald — 'DrinU 
 j^otnelhing for ol(i Ireland" — Palsy dash-s liquor in Donald's f.icc - 
 Arranginjr Ihe meeling — Patsy overhca . -^ Owen and Donald ph»Liiiig 
 ;iL:ainsl Edward — "O! darn that dog, he is taking one toe after 
 another" — Norah helps Patsy. 
 
 ACT ir. — Home of Edward O'Connor -Edward and his motlier 
 discuss the Secret Organization — Kathleen's dislike for Donald 
 I'ilziingh -He may be a spy— Arrival of Patsy, Johnny. iUrney and 
 Norah — Joiinny sings a song, but with poor success— "A rrah ' whal- 
 iver did we ilo to be trated like this" — Song bv Kathleen, "W^earing 
 of the Green" — Toast, "May the ould divil niver grow fat, thai 
 carries two fa.ces under one hat" — Tableau — Curtain. 
 
 ACL' III. — Owen Kane's cabin on Parson's Ridue —The nieetin::, a!l 
 prest-nl but Patsy, Edward elected president— Donald Piizlnn^h a<l- 
 niinisiers oalh lo Edward, but is interrupted by a slrangV-r, who 
 (h'nounces him as a liar and a spy — "Stand back! would you slnl^i; 
 a minister?" — Curtain. 
 
 St-ene //.—Courtroom — Edward charged with treason — The Irial 
 I'alse testijuony — Father Leary takes the stand — Donald an<l C)\veii 
 ai'cnseii of perjtu'y Confession — Death of Donald Fitzhugh— ■•The 
 hand of God"- Curtain. 
 
 .\('T IV. — Home of Edward O'Connor— Discussion of the trial - 
 l'.ii>>. "Five minutes in jail would beenough for me"— Edward and 
 l\ailil.'rii betrollied- Father Leary 's blessing interrupted by Pafsv 
 •Shnreyou might as well kill iwo birds with one stone. Norah 
 and I are going to be marrie.j loo" -God bless you all, ami mav 
 \oii always remember, as a Irieml. your o^Ml Father Learv"^ 
 liappy ending -Curtain. Price I.'/cts. 
 
A NEW PLAY BY LIZZIE MAY ELWYN. AUTHOR OF DOT, 
 THE MINER'S DAUGHTER. ENTITLED 
 
 I Rachel, the Fire Waif J 
 
 A Drama in 4 acls, for 7 mcde and 4 female characters. 
 Time of perform ancef 2 hours. 
 
 8TN0PSTS OF EVENTS. 
 
 ACT r. — Nathan Ellsworth's home— Ray aslepp — Alarm of fire — 
 Ray and Dnisilhi— "i am a Fire Waif" — The two papers— Report of 
 Kuiiciie l)nrlei,uh's death" — Antit Sophy and Barney get into a row 
 — 'I'abiLha i)acks her valise — Elmer and Ray — Nalhan and Barney 
 arrive with Harvey JacUson, who luis assumed the name of Eui^ene 
 Burleigh, wlio has been rescued from the tire— Drnsilla recogni'/es 
 liiin — The threat of murder— Barney sings **Swate Little Buther 
 Cup." 
 
 ACT II. — Storm— Sophy gives Nathan a piece of her mind — Parson 
 Green receives a rough reception — Thunder and lightning — Jackson 
 recognizes Parson Green, alias Brock — The threat — Brock relates a 
 little story — The plot to niurtler Elmer Ellsworth, and Eugene 
 linrleigh Harney and Tabitha — Storm continues —Elmer starts for 
 the Lighthouse — .lackson and Ray — The w reckc*! ship — Ray im- 
 plores Jackson to go lo Elmer's rescue, which he refuses — "Coward, 
 I will save him"— ^Elmer, Ray and Eugene Burleigh— Eugene dis- 
 guised as Capt. Brown — Drusilla recognizes his voice — Tabitha's 
 oath. 
 
 ACT ni. — The forged check — Drusilla again becomes a wanderer 
 — lOugene discovers her note to Ray — ^Abduction of Eugene Burleigh 
 — I>arney is an eye witness — .Inckson accuses Elmer of forging tlie 
 ciieck and helps him to escape — A lost letter — Tabitha, Barney 
 and the flour barrel — Jackson t^'lls Ray about the check — "I never 
 will believe him guilty" — A tiiree month's promise — Nathan and 
 Sophy — "It's my opinion it's a put up job" — Barney's pledge. 
 
 ACT IV. — Ray as the wife of Jackson — The abuse — Jackson and 
 }^,.,,(.l^^ — "I'll l)p even with you" — "Your doom is sealed" — Nathan, 
 Sophy and Elmer in search of R:i,y— The lost letter turns up, 
 w'hich unravels the mystery of Drusilla — Euuene Burleigh gives a 
 history of tliepast, which clears Drusilla of thecrimef)f murder and 
 reveals to Ray tJiat Drusilla is her sister— The explosion, in which 
 Jackson is killed— The house enveloped in flames— Firemen rescue 
 the party. 
 
 PRICE 25 CENTS. 
 
THE 
 
 MECHANIC'S*^ 
 
 REPRIEVE, 
 
 A Drama in 3 acfs^ by John M. Murphy, for 8 male and 
 
 o Jemale characters. Time of playing 1 
 
 hour and 50 minutes. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS PER COPY. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 
 
 ACT r. — Coioiiel Harrinofton informs his daiiobter Mary, of Lester 
 Wilson's inlendtHl visit — Dan Trogan and Uie horses— .hWin Rogers, 
 tlie mechanic — His proposal accepted by Mary — "If a body kiss a 
 body" — Annie and Mary— E. Z. Walker, as a tramp, appears— Annie 
 interested in the tramp — "Me heart is broke and me back is in the 
 same yard," says Dan— Colonel gives his consent for Wilson to ad- 
 dress Mary — Mary and Wilson, the proposal rejected — "He's nothing 
 but a mechanic" — A plot to ruin John Rogers — The stolen money 
 :ind murder of Colonel Harrington — John accused of murder, by 
 Wilson-Mary's lailh in her lover — Arrest of Rogers. 
 
 ACT 11. — The tramp returns, meets Annie and Dan — Annie tells 
 Walker of the murder and the conviction of Rogers — "He hangs to- 
 day"— "lean and will save him" — Mary intercedes with the Governor 
 for a reprieve— The reprieve granted— "A ride for a life"— Walker 
 tells the Governor that he murdered Col. Harrington, in order to savn 
 Rogers — Arrest of Walker, when Louise, Wilson's wife arrives, and 
 swears she saw Lester Wilson murder the Colonel — Wilson and Dan. 
 the bribe rejected— Rogers in prison — Wilson visits Rogers — The 
 insult— Arrival of Mary with the reprieve— "Saved, John saved." 
 
 ACT HL — A lapse of one year— Home of John and Mary Rogers- 
 Walker and Annie as lovers — News of Lester Wilson's escape from 
 prison— Mary's forbodings— Lester Wilson's attempt to kill John 
 Rogers, but is foiled by Louise— Dan arrests Lester— "-Lester Wilson, 
 you have wronged me deeply, but I forgive you" — "Come friends, 
 let us go in, night's shadows are closing around us. Its gloomy 
 sluides are too suggestive of the pasl. and around the clu-ery fire- 
 place 1 can see the faces of the friends, w hose love for me was my 
 salvatiou, in the dark days before I was Reprieved. 
 
LATEST COMEDY DEAMA, 
 
 Unele Jed's Fidelity; 
 
 OR- 
 
 The Returned Cowboy. 
 
 A Comedy Dntnui, by Bert C. Rawley, for 7 male and 3 
 
 Jeniale characlers. Costumes modem, Tima 
 
 of playing, 2 hours. 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF EVP-.\\TS. 
 
 Mr. "Western, a strong willed man, objects lo his daughter niarn - 
 ing a poor but honest man, and resolves she shall marry his friend, 
 Donald Reeves, a rich man — Isabel refuses -Uncle Jed arrives Irnni 
 the country and intercedes for Isabel, but j\lr. Western refuses ti> 
 believe Donald Reeve a villain — Donald Reeve's forsaken wife ar- 
 rives and forbids Donald's attention to Isabel — Peregrine Splatter 
 overhcnrs Donald threaten his wife, and becomes his })artner for (h.; 
 purpose of bringing him to justice — Col. Western drives Isabel from 
 his house— She reiurns with Uncle Jed lo hiscouniry home — Donald 
 Reeves murders his wife and throws the guilt on Isabel's lover, Robert 
 Shelden — His arrest and imprisonment — Robert escapes and at last 
 brings proof that Donald Reeves is the murderer — Donald arrested. 
 Uncle Jed, Jasper, the negro, Polly and Peregrine Splatter make up 
 the comedy parts — This is a pla}' in which all the characters are 
 evenly balanced. Amateurs will find it a good one. Price 15 cts. 
 
 The Obstinate Family. 
 
 A farce in 1 act, for 3 male and 3 female characters. 
 Scene, plainHMp. Everyday costumes. Time, 40 minutes. 
 A lover's quarrel between two servau^u grows by a verv 
 natural proces;jt|j|mgg|g g. thi^ lWTO^fD^^)^mestic cyclone 
 of vast proportions. IHp^rece is a mer^^lle but a very 
 entertaining one. tcopy ^^' fbics^TlS^oents, 
 
 DEC 7 J809 
 
;-K. 
 
 ^1 
 
 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 017 401 841 8 
 
 ,** ms^'-