COPYRIGHT, 1893, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. piays for /Amateur 5l7eatrieal BV GEORGE TWt. BT^CKER, Author of ^^ Amateur Dramas" '''The Mimic Stas^e" ^'The Sociil St'7o-e," "The Dra^uhig' Kooin Stage" '''' Handy Dramas" ^^The Exkibitioti Dramas," "A Baker's Doze?i" etc. Titles in this Type are Nctv Plays. Titles in this 'lype are leutperance Plays, DRAMAS. /;/ Four A cis Bettor than Gold. 7 ninle, 4 female char .... /// Three Acts. 0»«r F'^Tks. 6 male, c, female char, Tli« Klower of the ^'alnil>. 5 male, 3 female char En I rsTEi) FOR THE War. 7 male, 3 fe- male char My 1!rotiier's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- male char l^ . . . Till' lyUtit' lirvtvii. J»il, 5 male, 3 female char Ill Two A cts. Above the Cloutlf. 7 male, 3 female char One Hundred Veirs Ago. 7 male, 4 female char Amoxc, the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female char BRiiAD ON THE WATERS. 5 male, 3 female char Down by the Sea. 6 male, 3 female char Oncb on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. The J^nst liOnf, 5 male, 3 female char. Ill One A ct. oTAND i?Y THE FLAf;. 5 male char, . . l'h,e 'i't'iiijiier. . 3 male, i female char. COMEDIES AND FARCES. X Mysterious Dis'-fppearanee. 4 male, 3 female cliar. ....... Padclle Vour Own Canoe. 7 male 3 female char. . , A ItfO]} loo Much. 4 male, i. female char. ■ , . , r A I,ilf1i' IWore Cider, 5 male, 3 fe- male char. A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 female char Never ^av Die. 3 male, 3 femaie char. ''^EKiNG THE Elephant. 6 male, 3 female char. The I'.oston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- male char Thirtv Minutes for Refreshments. 4 male, 3 female char. ...... Wff're nil Teetotalers. 4 male, 2 fe- male char. .......... Male Characters Only. A Close Shave, ft char. ...... A Pt'Bi ic P.fnefactor. 6 char. -. . . A Se/i of Trouble-s. 8 char. .... COMEDIES, etc., continued. Male Characters 0>ily. A Tender Attachment. 7 char. Coals OF FiKE. 6 char. . . . =. Freedom of the Press. S chnr. . .•"hall Our Mothern Vot« ? 1 1 c Gentlemen of thk Jury. 12 cliai. Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . My Uncle THE Captain. 6 char. . New I'.rooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. The Ore 'vT Elixir, gchar. . . . I'hk Hypochondriac. 3 char. . . Iflnti ifilh the JJeniijohti char The Runaways. 4 char. .... The 'I'hief of Time. 6 char. . . Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . Female Characters Only. A I.ovE OF A Bonnet. 5 cliar, . . A ^RECious Pickle. 6 cliar. . . . No Cure No Pay. 7 char. . . . The Champion OF Her Sex. X char, The C;reatest Plague in Life, 8 char, The Okecian Bend. 7 char. . J'he Red Chignon, d char. . . Using the Weed. 7 char. . . ALLEGORIES. A rranged/or Music and Tableaux. Lighthart's Pilgrimage. S female char. 15 The Kevolt of the Bees. 9 female char. ...... o ..... 15 The Sculptor's Triumph, i male. 4 fe- male char. 15 The I'ournament of Idylcourt. 10 fe- male char 15 The War of'the Roses. 8 female char. 15 The Voyage of Life. 8 female char. . 15 MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. An Original Idea, t male, i female 15 Bonbons; or, the Paint King. 6 male, I female char 25 Capuletta; or, Romeo and Juliet 15 Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 15 Santa Claus' Frolics 15 -Snow-bound; or, Alonzo the Brave'. AND the Fair Imogene. 3 male, 1 female char. 25 I'he Merk'y Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe. ... 15 The Pedler of Very Nice. 7 male char. 15 The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertain- ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 Too Lath for the Train. 2 male char. 15 The Visions of Freedom, h female char. o . . IS WALTER H. BAKER & CO., 23 Winter St„ Boston. Our Colored Conductors ^n ©n'fjinal Ethiopian ^kftcfj in E\ao .Scenes AS PLAYED BY SCHOOLCRAFT AND COES ARRANGED BY GEORGE H. COES rOCJ kiO 1893" _ BOSTON ^ftf^^)l^ 1893 OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS.^ . Luke Schoolcraft . HARHY liLOODGOOD 0^^ ' f^ ■ CHARACTERS. \ /i »> {As orig'uially presented at the Howard Athenccum, Boston, in 1874.) SUPERINTENDENT Geo. H. Goes DAN KETCHAM BILL GRABBEM FOP POLICEMAN NEWSBOY CONSUMPTIVE LADV AND DUMMY BABY SILENT FIEND 'MRS. McGlNTY, a 71'as/ieru'oman . . . . MRS. McCarthy, another ivashern'oman LADY PASSENGER LAME SOLDIER, ETC . Supernumeraries Copyright, 1893, by Walter H. Baker & Co. PROPERTIES. Two badges for hats, reading, " Conductor No. 46," and " Conductor No. 47." Two burlesque bell-punches. Two strips of red and white muslin, to punch fares on, two feet long, two and one-half inches wide, a red and white pinned together for each conductor ; to be pinned on the lappel of coat, all ready at R. i E. A square sign, reading, '' Colored Conductors Wanted." for Supt., at R. I E. Two large clothes-baskets, containing clothes, for washerwomen, r. and l. A cigar for Fop. Cane for Consumptive. Policeman's full suit and club. A dummy, to break in two. A dummy baby. Newspapers for boy. Two crutches for Lame Soldier. Carpet-bag marked " Dynamite," for Silent Fiend. TMP92-008890 OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS. Scene i. — A Plain Chamber in one. {Enter Superintendent, r. i e., carrying a sign.) SuPT. I have been for the past six months trying to perfect an honest system among my conductors and drivers, and I find it is an utter impossibility. So I have taken a new departure. Pm going to employ colored conductors for a while, and see how that will work. I've had this sign painted, and will have it hung up. {Goes to L.) John, have this sign hung up in some conspicuous place where it can be seen by everybody. ( Turns and goes towards R. aside.) Mr. Brown, take a seat ; I'll be with you in about five minutes. {Turns and sees Bill and Dan, who have entered artn in arm.) Good-day ! Dan. Are you de horse car ? SupT. What? Do I look like a horse car? Bill. What time will de depot be in? SuPT. Are you looking for the superintendent? Bill. De super? Yes, dat's de man, {They stand one each side o/Svvr.) SupT. Do you wish to make application for a situation ? Dan. Yes ; I want to be a cross yard conductor. Bill. Yes ; we want to be corn yard conductors. SuPT. You mean horse car conductors. {They nod assent.) Well, you look like a couple of smart boys ; where did you work last ? Bill. De man wants to know where you worked last. Dan. No, he asked you. {Bus. of disputing which one shall atiswer.) SuPT. Either of you ; I care not which. Bill. He wants to know either — he don't care which. Dan. Oh, I used to work for a man in de roofing business. SuPT. What were your duties ? Dan. I used to lay on de skylight to keep de rain out. SuPT. What did you get for the job. Dan. I used to get a dollar and a half a day, when it didn't rain. 4 OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS. SUPT. What did you get when it ^//V/rain? Dan. I used to get wet. SuPT. Of course you got wet. (Ti? Bill.) Let me hear from you, sir. Bill. I used to work in a chow-chow factory. SuPT. What did you do in a chow-chow factory? Bill. They had me shaving warts off of pickles. SuPT. Wa>t 3. situation. Are you married? {They both look at each other, undecided which way to answer, yes or no.) I merely ask the question if you are married men. . Bill. Is my clothes tore? D.AN. Any buttons off? Why, what's de matter? SuPT. We employ no married men on our road. Bill ««<^/ Dan {together). Oh, we ain't married. Bill, you come very near gettin' married. SuPT. How near? Bill. He asked a gal if she'd have him, an' she said no. SuPT. You see we have a reason for not employing married men. Your salary would be inadequate to — Dan. Dat's her. She never could keep a situation. SuPT. Who? Dan. Annie — didn't you say Annie Quit? SuPT. No, no; I say your salary would be inadequate — non- sufficient to support a family, consequently you'd be obliged to steal. Now, we want nothing but honest men on our road. Both. Oh, we are honest. Dan. I'd rather see you lay a corpse at my feet than to steal a half-dollar from you. Bill. Yes, I'd sooner have a thousand dollars than steal. SuPT. Well, I believe you would. Where do you reside? Bill. Show him your side. SuPT. No ; where do you live? Bill. The man wants to know where you live. Dan. He asked you whar you live. {Dispute as before; finally Dan says.) 1 live with you — I don't know where it is. SuPT. (/t? Bill). Where do you live? Dan. Oh, I live about ten miles out of town. SuPT. As far as tiiat? Dan. Oh, it's further, if you have to walk. SuPT. You'll have to move. ( They look mysterious at each other, when Bill takes Da's forward.) I say, you'll have to move. Bill {to Dan, aside). Did you see dis man before I come in? Dan. No, I never see him before. {Both look at SupT.) SuPT. I say, you'll have to move. Bill. Yes, dat's what de landlord told us to-day. SuPT. What I mean to say is, you'll have to move in on the line of the road. Dan. Oh, we're willing to move whar we can live for noffin'. Bill. And board ourselves. OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS. 5 SUPT. You see, your duties compel jou to get up at four o'clock in the morning. ])ax. At four o'clock ! SuPT. Yes. Dan. What time do we go to bed ? SuPT. At three. Dan. What! Go to bed at three, and get up at four? SuPT. Yes. Bill, De same morning ? SuPT. Certainly. Why, you have a whole hour to yourself. Bill. Oh, we do. Oh,' well, that's all right, I didn't know as we had that hour, SuPT, Yes, you have an hour. Bill. I suppose, if we wanted to use that odd hour, the railroad company wouldn't find any fault, SuPT. Oil, no; tliat hour belongs to you. However, if you wish to utilize that hour, you might, just for a little gentle exercise, come to my house and saw wood or throw in coal, Dan. Or chew up hay for de horses. Bill. Or wash off ten or a dozen cars. SuPT. I don't car how many you wash off. Bill. Well, you may have that odd hour; I don't think we'll get a chance to use it. SuPT. And when you arise from your downy couches — Bill. When you get down off your crutches. SupT. When you arise from your beds — Bill. Do we ever strike a bed? SuPT. You do if you have the price. When you get up at four o'clock, you proceed at once to the depot, take your car, and run down town with it. (^Botli lock arms and go L,) Where are you going? Dan (both turn). See here, boss, my friend is too strong to work. Bill. Yes, my friend's feet's sore ; he ain't got strength enough to pull a beefsteak off a gridiron. We can't carry a car. SupT. You misunderstand me. You jump on your car at four o'clock to make your first trip. Bill. Has dese cars got horses ? SuPT. Certainly, we've got horses. Bill. Oh, all right den, I thought you wanted to use us for horses. SuPT. No; we have plenty of stock. Now, when 30U arrive at the terminus — Dan. Is he on the road yet? Why, I know Jake Temmus. SupT. No; when you arrive at the end of the route — Bill. Den we go up de tree. SuPT. No ; there's a branch, and you're allowed three minutes for breakfast. Bill. Oh, no ; dat's too much time. 6 OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS. SuPT. Why, you seem surprised at- that. We formerly allowed but two minutes, but the passengers and public thought we were too severe on conductors and drivers, so we most magnanimously gave them another minute. Bill. Well, Mag was kind. Railroad people are very kind ; if you haven't got a ticket, you can walk. SuPT. You also have three minutes for dinner and three for supper. Consequently, you have one hour and nine minutes out of twenty-four. Bill. Oh, that's time enough. I suppose the railroad company wouldn't have any objections if we brought our meals wid us and eat 'em on de cars. SupT. Oh, no ; that's a good plan, and we'll adopt it. Dan. We could sleep on de cars, and be dar all de time. SuPT. Yes ; turn tlie cushions over. Bill. We'd have to if we wanted to sleep. SuPT. And your wages are one dollar and a quarter per diem. Dan. Is he wid you yet? SUPT. Wiio? Dan. Per dime. SupT. I say, your wages are one dollar and a quarter a day each. (Bill takes Ti K'h forward ; aside.') Bill. De man told me — you didn't understand. He say you get a dollar and a quarter a day, and die wid de itch. SuPT. No, no ; I pay you one dollar and twenty-five cents apiece per day. Bill. You give us money? SuPT. Yes. Bill. We don't want any money. Just let us get on de cars. Dan. We just want to handle de money a little while. Just to see how it feels, dat's all. SuPT. Will you try this situation? Bill. Well, we'll try it for a year, and at de end of dat time if we don't like it we'll quit. SuPT. I'll get your badges and start you right off. {Exit SUPT., R.) Dan. Look here, Bill, I want you to do me a favor. Bill. I hain't got a cent. Dan. Promise me one thing. Don't steal de bosses de fust day. Bill. Don't you punch any tickets. I know a man in de drug store who'll buy 'em all from us. {Enter Supt. with badges, punches, and trip tickets; gives men badges ; they both try to tie thetn on the wrong place.) Supt. No, no ; you tie those on your caps. {Business of get- ting thetn upside down, etc. Einally start to tie them.) OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS, 7 Bill. All aboard ! SuPT. Not yet. You are not on the car yet. Dan. Don't you hear cle man say not yet ? All aboard ! SuPT. Not yet. Bill. Don't you hear de man say not yet ? SuPT. Now, before we proceed further in this matter, it will be requisite for each of you to deposit a ten-dollar note apiece in tlie treasury of the company. {Both lock arms agai)i a>ui start to go L.) VVhat's the matter? Haven't you <;ot ten dollars apiece ? Dan. Do we look as if we had ten dollars ? Bill. Do you suppose if we had ten dollars we'd come looking for work .'' SuPT. Oh, I see. You've been out of work so long you have no money. Well, I'll be magnanimous. I'll advance you ten dollars apiece on your salary. Bill. Mag is kind again. You can't make it twenty. SupT. It is immaterial to me ; twenty, if you want it. Bill. Wiiy do you ask for advancement ? SuPT. Merely as a matter of security for your honesty ; that's all. Bill. Oh, I thought you wanted to buy horses. SuPT. No ; we've plenty of horses. Bill. All aboard I {Savie b!(S!>u'ss as before.) SuPT. And you'll also set your watches by the large clock in the tower of the depot. {Both have dropped their badges again, and start to go off^, L.) What is the matter now .'' Bill {To Dan). Show up. SuPT. What — no watciies ? Bill. We haven't been on de road long enough. Dan. You just give us time, and we'll have all those little things. SuPT. Pick up your badges. I have a couple of dozen watches lying in my safe ; I'll loan you one each. Bill. Just give us a chance on de cars. {This time tie on their badges.) All aboard ! {Same as before.) SuPT. Here are your punches. {Bits, of pitichingjingers, etc., ad libitum.) Here are your trip tickets. {Pins one on Dan.) Bill. Oh, I want one of them. SuPT. Yes, you shall have one. {Pins one on Bill's coat.) Now, those red slips are for children, and the white slips for adults. Bill {to Dan). You understand? The red slips are for chil- dren, and de wliite is for de Dutch. SuPT. No, no ; for adults — grown people. Dan. You don't know noffin'. De red slips are for children, and de white for de ducks. SuPT. Now, when a passenger gets on the car and pays his fare, punch a hole in one of those coupons. Dan. S'pose I punch *eni all out ? Bill. Punch 'em in again. 8 OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS. SuPT. In case vou run out before the trip is over, make a mem- orandum in the lapels of your coat. Dan. Who finds coats ? Bill. Hush — say noffin' ; we'll find coats. SuPT. Now come this way. and Til show you your cars. {Starts to go, wheti Bill says, " All aboard I " Same bus. as before. Exit SuPT., and they follow. Change to) Scene 2. — A street in four. Two practicable horse cars, R. a7td L. at back, one labelled '■'■Asylum,'''' the other, " Cemetery,'''' Nos. 46 and 47 respecti7>ely. Scene opens with SuPT. discovered on street. Bill and Dan come on.) SuPT. {to Bill). There's your car (points to R.), and here is yours {points to L.). Bill {to Dan). You got the cemetery; you carry all de dead- heads. Dan. You carry all de dead beats. SuPT. Now, boys, here is an order I want you to have strictly enforced ; that is. allow no smoking on tlie platform. ( They repeat.) No trunks, no drunks, no dogs, no bundles, no washerwomen com- ing with large baskets of clothes to clog up the car. We won't have tliem. Now go to your respective cars, and let me liear a good report of you when you come in to-night. {Exit Supt.) (Dan and Bill t^o to their cars, ring the bell, and shout " All aboard!"" Enter Silent Fiend, r. i e., dressed bad, and has a bad face ; goes towards cars mysteriously, looks in each. Dan and Bill watch him closely as he goes off L. i.e. Policeman walks across stage, also Newsboy selling papers and shouting some ho7-rible accident. Enter Fop, R. i. e.) Fop. Ah, conductor, I want to go — {Both grab FoP ; he finally goes on car platform, smoking cigar.) Bill {sees him). Say, Dan, the man say no smokin'' on de plat- form. Dan. Dat's so. {Goes to Fop, and says quietly.) No smoking on the cars. {This is said twice ; FoP takes no notice of them, but continices smoking; then D.\N 7'ery loudly repeats.) No smoking on the cars! Fop {looks at Dan). Oh, I beg pardon. {Throws cigar to the front of stage ; Dan, Bill, Policeman, and Newsuoy rush for it; in the scuffle Dan gets it, and puts it in his mouth, and goes on his car ; same bus. as before. Enter Consumptive, I'ery emaciated, and coughing very hard. Dan attd \}>ii.\. go to grab him, see what a pitiable sight it is, then go to their places again. The man goes to Dan, 7uho gently leads him to Bill's car, which says " Cemetery " ojt it. Bill leads OUR COLORED CONDUCTORS, 9 hint in his car. Rings bell and shouts, " All aboard / " Enter WciMAN luith child in her arms. Dan and Bill struggle for them ; finally Dan takes Woman, who is screaming, to his car, and Bill throws the baby over his car; theji go to their places again on the car. Ring bell, etc. Enter two Washerwomi:n with large baskets of clothes, and both struggle to get on Dan's car. Bill tries to persuade one to his car ; this' is worked up very spirited; finally the women come to front fighting. Dan takes one basket and throws it in his car ; Bill does the same ; the Policeman attempts to arrest the wo7nen, and they beat him off, when he grabs the Newsboy and goes off, l. h., the women in the cars. In this scene can be introduced any feature that will get a laugh, but there must be no drag. Arrange the characters so they will follow each other 7-apidly, the last being the Fop coining fioin the car.) Fop. Stop the car, conductor ; I've been robbed ! Dan. Where was you robbed ? Police ! Fop. In the car. They caught him, and are waiting for tlie police. Bill. Then they'll have a long wait. (All rush in Dan's car, shouting ; Dan and Bill come from the car, bringing a dummy man, which they pull apart at the waist ; they throw the pieces hi their cars, ring bell, shout, " All aboard ! " The Policeman rushes on, general struggle to get in cars until) CURTAIN. Baker's Monthly Bulletin. . THE BOOK OF DRILLS: Part Secovt). a collection of euter- tainmeiils for bUige, hall or parlor, by MAhV B. Hukm.;, author of "A Caru.val of Days," etc. Containing: The NuksErV AIaids' Drill. Arranged for icu httle girls of from six to ten years of age. The jAPAiiESK Umbkella Drili,. For twelve girls or young lae NEW. An Kntertamment in One Act. Fur sixteen girls. ■V\'ritten for the Cla'JS Day Exercises at Dana Hall School, Wellosley, Mass., by two members of the Class of '87, and first performed before the members of tlie school and their friends, June 18, 18.s7, and later at EllsW: rth, Maine, April 6, 18S8. No scenery. The " Chronothanatoletron " (or Time and Death Annihilaior) is an invention by means of which any woman of any epoch cau be brought at once into the presence of the "operator." (1889.) Price, 25 Cents. ^ THE COUNTRY SCHOOL. A F.arcical Entertainment In Two fecenes. J3y M. K. URXK. Fur any nunih-r of characters, male or female, either or both, many or few, big or little. Scenery simple; costumes easy ; timeiu playing, about forty minutes. This sketch carries the spectator back to his school-hoy .lays in the little red school-house. Grown folks, the older and more cents.) (ISao.) '■ ' - PHce.'o'uiylii" cents. ^ THE TpNNIS DRILL, An Entertainment for parlor or lawn. By MARjiAKKT l-i;ZANbiE. TIlis prefty and picturesque entertainment will be » novel and popular feature for a school exhibition, a parlor entertainment or a lawn party. Sixteen girls, or less, can take part, regulation tennis suits In two colors, being worn, \vlth fascinating "deerstalkers" and "blazers" to match It IS very eiisy to get up. tennis apparatus being universallv handy and is highly recommended for its novelty, i)icturesqueness and equal udaninhil'ltv frn- in-door urout-Ujor use. (18(l>t:Lir, the only specimen of his kind in captivity; illustrated by cuts. Slc.Noit Gala.s.si, the celebrated Glass Eater. Galas^^i sings. Al.r.pXilfo Penskkoso, the won- derful two-headed girl; not to be confounded with the more common two- f}'. No chorus. Veiy easy and tuneful. Piuce, 2.5 Cents. The Four-leafed Clover. In Tbree Acts. By Mahy B. HoiiXK. For cliildren of from six to fifteen years. Seven boys, seven girls, and chorus. Very picturesque. PuiCE, 50 Cents. Beans and Buttons. In One Act. Words by Wm. H. Lepeijk; music by Alfijed G. IIobyx. Two male and two female cliaractors; no chorus. Very comical and easy. Pkice, 50 Cents. Hunt the Thimble. In One Act. Words by A. G. Lewis ; music by Leo K. Lewis. Two male, two female characters and small chorus. Simple and pretty. Piuce, 50 Cents. Red Riding Hood's Rescue. In P'our Scenes. Words by J. E. Estabijook; music by J. Astou Buoad. Three male, four female characters and chorus. PuicE, 50 Cents. Golden Hair and the Three Bears. In Five Scenes. By J. Astou Broad. Tluee adults (2 m., 1 f.), eight children and chorus. Music is easy, graceful, and pleasing. Piuce, 75 Cents. R. E. Porter ; or, The Interviewer and the Fairies. In Three Acts. Words by A. G. Lewis; music by Leo li. Lewis, Six male, six female characters, and chorus. Very picturesque and pretty. PmcE, 75 Cents. Gyp, Junior. In Two Acts. AVords by Earl Maublii;; music by D. F. lIoDGEs. Two males, one female (adult), three children and chorus. Very successful and easily produced. Piuce, 75 Cents. AlvinGray; or. The Sailor's Return. In Three Acts. Written and composed by C. A. White. Ten characters, including chorus; can be made more effective by employing a larger number. Price, 75 Cents. Catalogues describing the above and other popular entertain- ments sent free on application to WALTER H. BAKER & CO., THEATRICAL PUBLISHERS, No. 23 Winter Street, - Boston, Mass.