B V 
 

 
 i/ //L^a 
 
 J LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
 j^f^L j. | 
 
 # # 
 
 J UNITED STATES OP AMERICA. J 
 
COMFORT 
 
 HEAVY LADEN. 
 
 BY WILLIAM tJOWPER, 
 
 MINISTER AT PERTH. 
 
 1 
 
 WITH SOME NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA : 
 PRESBYTERIAN BOARD OF PUBLICATION. 
 

 4 
 
 The Library 
 ot Congress 
 
 — WASHINGTON 
 
 Ente red accunliiig, lei Aot of Fi i ingEck s, in the year 
 
 1847, 
 BY A. W. MITCHELL, 
 
 in the Office of the Clerk of the District Court for 
 the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. 
 
 Stereotyped by S. DOUGLAS WYETH, No 7 Pear St, Philadelphia. 
 
RECOMMENDATION. 
 
 To the church of God, assembling at the Countess of 
 Huntingdon's Chapel, Bristol, and all who love our 
 Lord Jesus Christ, in sincerity. 
 
 Beloved in the Lord, 
 
 Aware that many of you may with 
 propriety be called " troubled souls," the 
 following little dialogue appears eminently 
 calculated to afford comfort to such. If 
 your troubles arise from the multitude 
 and magnitude of your transgressions — 
 the feebleness of your faith — the power 
 of your corruptions — and the strength of 
 your enemies — you will find in this little 
 book, many precious and suitable argu- 
 ments, drawn from the word of God, to 
 assist you in the exercise of faith upon 
 his promises, which will serve as cordials 
 to refresh your fainting spirits, and as 
 
IV RECOMMENDATION. 
 
 encouragements to trust him to complete 
 the work he had so graciously begun. It 
 was printed about two hundred years ago, 
 and may serve to show, that the Lord's 
 people in former ages, were the subjects 
 of the same fears and distresses as your- 
 selves — that they had no other refuge but 
 Jesus — and that the peculiar lesson they 
 were taught, throughout their pilgrimage 
 was — to grow in hatred with themselves, 
 and increase in love to him. Being a 
 babe myself, I have found this Dialogue 
 particularly useful for these purposes, and 
 now recommend it to you, after having 
 first tasted the sweets it contains. 
 
 May the Lord the Spirit accompany 
 you while reading it, and abundantly 
 bless it to your edification and consolation, 
 prays, 
 
 Your servant for Jesus' sake, 
 JAMES SHERMAN. 
 
DEDICATION. 
 
 To the Right Worshipful Sir David Murray, Knight, 
 Special Gentleman of the Prince's Bed-chamber. 
 
 It is, right worshipful, the common con- 
 dition of all Christians, howsoever dis- 
 joined in place, that they are militant in 
 one warfare against Satan, with his prin- 
 cipalities, powers, and spiritual wicked- 
 ness ; whose stratagems are innumerable, 
 and the manner of his assaults manifold. 
 He troubleth not all God's children one 
 manner of way, for so every one might 
 easily espy wherein his strength lieth , 
 but makes choice of the temptation, as, by 
 long experience, he hath learned it may 
 be most effectual to work upon our natural 
 disposition. Like as, on the other hand, 
 the grace by which God strengthened! 
 
VI DEDICATION. 
 
 his children to resist him, is much more 
 manifold, whereby they are instructed to 
 use the armour of God with such variety 
 of heavenly wisdom, that it is a wonder 
 to see how by one and the self-same 
 sentence of God's word, at sundry hands, 
 sundry manner of ways, Satan is con- 
 founded ; and therefore it is very needful, 
 that in the spiritual warfare there should 
 be a mutual intelligence among the sol- 
 diers of Christ, as well for discovering of 
 Satan's several sleights in assaulting — for 
 the more his policy is detected, the better 
 may we eschew it — as also for the mani- 
 festation of God's rich mercy in assisting. 
 For this cause have I been induced to 
 communicate unto others these medita- 
 tions, as it pleased God by experience to 
 communicate them unto me ; for in the 
 midst of darkness which covered the mind, 
 and restless fear which disquieted the con- 
 science, the Lord made them suddenly to 
 break out like sparkles of light sent from 
 
DEDICATION. VU 
 
 his own throne of grace, bringing with 
 them light, peace, and joy, which in a 
 moment removed the former fears, and 
 pacified the perturbations of my troubled 
 soul. As they were unto me, so I wish 
 they may be means of comfort unto others; 
 but I know that the same argument of 
 comfort which hath comforted one in 
 temptations, doth not always comfort 
 another : nay, not in the self-same tempt- 
 ation ; for the Lord will have his praise 
 reserved to himself, that he only is the 
 God of all comfort. It is not the word, 
 saith David, but God by the word, that 
 did quicken him, Psa. cxix. 9. Yea, the 
 most comfortable promise of the gospel is 
 most terrible to the troubled conscience, 
 except the Lord by it work in the heart a 
 sense of his mercy ; and, therefore, such 
 as want comfort, let them seek it from the 
 God of comfort. Nevertheless, that which 
 we have, we give even as we have re- 
 ceived it, that it may stand as a memorial 
 
Vlll DEDICATION. 
 
 of my thankfulness to God, who showed 
 his great mercy upon me, when, within 
 myself, I had received the sentence of 
 death ; and a testimony of my love to- 
 wards them who are militant against 
 Satan ; and specially of that Christian 
 remembrance I have always of you in the 
 Lord Jesus ; to whose grace I commend 
 you now and for ever. 
 
 Your Worship's, in the Lord Jesus, 
 
 WILLIAM COWPER, 
 
 MINISTER AT PERTH. 
 
SOME NOTICE 
 
 REV. WILLIAM COWPER, 
 
 BISHOP OF GALLOWAY, 
 
 AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK. 
 
 We cannot better gratify our readers re- 
 specting an account of the excellent author 
 of this little book, than by giving them 
 some extracts from a memoir of his life, 
 written by his own hand, in January, 
 1616, about three years before his death, 
 and found among the papers in his study. 
 " My life hath not been such, that I am 
 ashamed to live longer, if my gracious 
 God have any further service to employ 
 me withal in his church. Neither am I 
 so desirous to live, but yet I am willing, 
 and heartily content to remove out of this 
 body, that I may be with my Lord, freed 
 
 ix 
 
X NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 from these restless temptations, which on 
 every side have sore pressed, but, through 
 his grace, never oppressed me. 
 
 "In my younger years I was trained 
 up with the wrestlings of God ; from my 
 youth I have borne his yoke, exercised 
 with his terrors ; yet so, that many a 
 time his sweet consolations have refreshed 
 my soul. In my old days, men have 
 risen against me, but without a cause. 
 Betwixt these two my days are spent. 
 My witness is in heaven ; he knoweth 
 that in every state of life my heart was 
 ever toward the Lord ; it was my joy to 
 serve him, and my grief when I sinned 
 against him. 
 
 " Being of the age of eight years, about 
 Martinmas I was carried by my father 
 from Edinburgh to Dunbar school. I could 
 not write, nor read any Latin then. I 
 tarried there till my twelfth year; even 
 then did the Lord begin to acquaint my 
 heart to seek him. We went two and 
 
NOTICE OP THE AUTHOR. XI 
 
 two to the church. He put then this 
 prayer in my heart every day in the way, 
 " Lord, bow mine ear, that I may hear 
 thy word." In the school many a time 
 have I turned on my face, seeking from 
 God knowledge and understanding. In 
 the space of four years and less, I learned 
 the whole course of grammar, wherein 
 God made me to prosper, not inferior to 
 others in the company with me. 
 
 "From thence I was called by my 
 parents to Edinburgh, and in the entry 
 of my thirteenth year, sent over to St. 
 Andrews, and passed in course of philos- 
 ophy there in the sixteenth year. There 
 made I not such progress in knowledge, 
 as I had done before in my other studies, 
 either mine age not being capable of it, or 
 my wise and merciful Father not thinking 
 it expedient for me ; yet even there was 
 the seed of grace still working in me, incli- 
 ning me to a careful hearing and penning 
 of sermons, and theological lessons, as I 
 
Xll NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 could have occasion to hear them. And 
 here Satan, working in corrupt nature, 
 sought many a time to trap me in his 
 snares, intending in my young years to 
 give me that wound, that might have 
 been a mark of shame to me in my old 
 age, when the Lord should call me to do 
 his work. But as on the one part I felt 
 my weakness compared with the strength 
 of corrupt nature ; so, though then I could 
 not discern it, afterward I had proof it 
 was the Lord's preventing mercy that 
 kept me from being an offence unto his 
 church. It is his mercy that he pardoned 
 the vanities and ignorances of my youth, 
 and his mercy also that he preserved me 
 in all my life, from any that could make 
 me a shame to his saints, or a scorn and 
 reproach to his enemies. 
 
 " Having passed my course in St. An- 
 drews, at the age of sixteen years, I re- 
 turned to my parents in Edinburgh. I 
 was pressed by them to enter into sundry 
 
NOTICE OP THE AUTHOR. Xlll 
 
 sorts of life I liked not ; for my heart still 
 inclined to the study of the Holy Scrip- 
 tures. Whereupon I resolved to go into 
 England, where I evidently perceived the 
 Lord going before me, and providing for 
 me at Hodsdon, within eighteen miles of 
 London, my mean portion which' I had 
 being all spent (I speak it to his glory that 
 cared for me) in that same place. That 
 same day was I desired by our kind coun- 
 tryman Mr. Guthrie, to help him in the 
 teaching of a school ; with whom I re- 
 mained some three quarters of a year, but 
 after did the Lord lead me further. For 
 having occasion to go to London, without 
 my knowledge, or any suit of mine, I was 
 called to the service of a learned divine, 
 Mr. Broughton, unto the which with the 
 good will of Mr. Guthrie I entered, and 
 there remained about a year and a half, 
 daily exercised under him in the study of 
 theology. To him under God, and some 
 other learned divines of that city, do I 
 
Xiv NOTICE OP THE AUTHOR. 
 
 acknowledge myself bound for these be- 
 ginnings of knowledge I then received. 
 
 " In the nineteenth year of my life I 
 returned again to Edinburgh, where having 
 the commodious occasion to be with my 
 elder brother, then one of the ministers of 
 Edinburgh, I still continued in the same 
 study, and at length was required to give 
 a proof of my gift privately, which I did 
 in the new church in presence of Mr. 
 Robert Pont, and Mr. Robert Rollock, 
 with sundry others of the ministry. Then, 
 after that, I was required to teach publicly 
 in the new church on a Sabbath in the 
 afternoon. And the next week I was 
 commanded to teach publicly in the great 
 church, in time of a fast, on a Thursday 
 in the afternoon. Thus did the Lord train 
 me up, and these were the beginnings of 
 my ministry, which I recount to the praise 
 of his grace, who counted me faithful, and 
 put me into his service. 
 
 " A little after that, in the beginning of 
 
NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. XV 
 
 my twentieth year, there ensued a general 
 assembly of the church at Edinburgh, and 
 by their authority was I sent out, and ap- 
 pointed pastor of Bothkenner, in Stirling- 
 shire ; for that church had been desolate 
 ever since the Reformation, and the people 
 had given in their supplication to the 
 assembly for a pastor. This calling of 
 God and his church I embraced, and went 
 unto them, where I found the desolation 
 so great, that except the walls, which 
 were ruinous also, neither door, nor win- 
 dow, nor seat, nor pulpit, nor any part of 
 a roof was there at all ; yet it pleased God, 
 to give such a blessing to the ministry of 
 his word, that their hearts thereby were 
 stirred up cheerfully to build the Lord's 
 house, which most willingly they fully re- 
 solved within half a year, not content to 
 build their own part of the house, but the 
 choir also, which of due should have been 
 done by the parson : (there needed here 
 no letters of horning, or other coinpulsi 
 
XVI NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 tories;) neither content to have built it 
 only, they adorned it within and without, 
 not inferior to any other church of such 
 quality round about it. This was my first 
 external seal, and confirmation of my 
 calling to the ministry. 
 
 "In this service I remained seven or 
 eight years, subject to great bodily infirmi- 
 ties, by reason of the weakness [or marsh- 
 iness] of the soil in winter, and the un- 
 wholesome waters thereof. And here did 
 the Lord first begin to acquaint me with 
 his terrors, and the inward exercises of 
 sundry sorts of temptations ; so that be- 
 tween these two, my life was almost 
 wasted with heaviness; yet I bless the 
 Lord for it, it was unto me like the wilder- 
 ness of Midi an to Moses, a school of 
 temptation, whereby I learned daily more 
 and more to know Christ Jesus, gathering 
 some store of knowledge thereby, inward 
 exercises, and outward studies, which the 
 
NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. XVII 
 
 Lord afterward called me to give out in 
 more public places in his church. 
 
 " How I did carry myself in my open 
 conversation, living among them, not as 
 one separate from them, but mixed myself 
 in all their fellowships, as a comfort to the 
 best, and a wound to the worst inclined 
 sort, this age will not want loving witness 
 to record it. My diligence in like manner 
 in the ministry, not only on the ordinary 
 days, but on others, which I voluntarily 
 chose thrice a week in the evening ; to wit, 
 Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, for a 
 preparation to the Sabbath, (for these days 
 they had no preaching in the morning) it 
 would have done a Christian heart good, 
 to have seen those glorious and joyful 
 assemblies, to have heard the zealous 
 cryings to God among that people with 
 sighings and tears, melting hearts and 
 mourning eyes. I speak the truth in mo- 
 desty, and not all the truth. It is not 
 vain-glorying, I abhor that ; not I, but 
 
XV1U NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 his grace in me. Why shall it offend 
 any man, that I eat the fruit of my la- 
 bour, and that my conscience this day 
 enjoys the comfort of my former painful- 
 ness and fidelity ? my witness is in heaven, 
 that the love of Jesus and his people, 
 made continual preaching my pleasure, 
 and I had no such joy, as in doing his 
 work. Some witnesses also I want not to 
 remain. For albeit my charge was to 
 teach five times in the week, yet this was 
 more, that I penned thereafter, whatsoever 
 I preached, whereof some are already ex- 
 tant ; others, by God's grace, if the Lord 
 spare my days, shall come in their time. 
 And in outward things, what care I had 
 to see the house of God there honoured, 
 the welfare of that people every way, 
 there are monuments standing to witness 
 for me, when I am dead. 
 
 " All this time, except some little inter- 
 missions and breathing-times, did the Lord 
 still exercise me with inward temptations. 
 
NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. XIX 
 
 what a vicissitude of estates ! what 
 a variety of combats ! It were tedious 
 here to set them down all, as they were 
 done and fought. But this I must say, 
 the end of all and every one of them was 
 unspeakable joy. And once for all, in 
 greatest extremity of horror, and. anguish 
 of spirit, when I had utterly given over, 
 and looked for nothing but confusion, 
 suddenly did there shine (in the very 
 twinkling of an eye) the bright and light- 
 some countenance of God proclaiming 
 peace, and confirming peace with invin- 
 cible reasons. what a change was there 
 in a moment. The silly soul that was 
 even now at the brink of the pit, looking 
 for nothing, but to be swallowed up, was 
 instantly raised up to heaven, to have joy- 
 ful fellowship with God in Christ Jesus ; 
 and from this day forth my soul was 
 never troubled with such extremity of 
 terrors. This confirmation was given me 
 on a Saturday in the morning ; there found 
 
XX NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 I the power of religion, the certainty of 
 the word. There was I touched with 
 such a lively sense of a divinity, and 
 power of the Godhead, in mercy recon- 
 ciled with man, and with me in Christ, 
 as I trust, my soul shall never forget. 
 Glory, glory, glory be to the joyful de- 
 liverer of my soul out of all adversities 
 for ever. 
 
 " In this estate do I now live ; my soul 
 always in mine hand, ready to be offered 
 to my God ; where, or what kind of death, 
 God hath prepared for me I know not. 
 But sure I am, there can be no evil death 
 to him that liveth in Christ, nor sudden 
 death to a Christian pilgrim, who, as Job 
 says, every day waits for his change, yea, 
 many a day have I sought it with tears, 
 not out of impatience, distrust, or pertur- 
 bation, but being weary of sin, and fearful 
 to fall into it. Concerning those who 
 have been my enemies without cause, and 
 charged me with many wrongful impu- 
 
NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. XXI 
 
 tations, from which my conscience clears 
 me, excusing me of these things, love of 
 gain and glory, or such like, whereof they 
 accused me, the Lord lay it not to their 
 charge. I go to my Father, and wish his 
 blessing to them, to rectify their judg- 
 ments, and moderate their affections, with 
 true piety, from faith and love." 
 
 Among the same papers were found 
 three meditations, with which he comfort- 
 ed himself, whilst he found his death 
 approaching, written also with his own 
 hand, and bearing date the seventh day 
 of December, in the year 1618. 
 
 " Now my soul be glad. At all parts 
 of this prison, the Lord hath set to his 
 pioneers to loose thee : head, feet, milt and 
 liver are fast failing ; yea, the middle 
 strength of the whole body, the stomach, 
 is weakened long ago. Arise, make ready, 
 shake off thy fetters, mount up from the 
 body, and go thy way. 
 
 " Let me tell you that which I know, 
 
XXII NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 yea foreknow, yet I, after others, have 
 foretasted before you. Death is somewhat 
 dreary, and the streams of that Jordan 
 between us and our Canaan run furiously ; 
 out they stand still when the ark cometh. 
 Let your anchor be cast within the veil, 
 and fastened on the rock, Jesus." 
 
 Upon Monday, February 15th, 1619, 
 at one o'clock in the afternoon, feeling his 
 strength and spirits to decay, after he had 
 uttered a most heavenly prayer, in the 
 company of those that were by him, he 
 desired to be laid in bed (for the days be- 
 fore he arose always, and either walked or 
 sat in his chamber;) which being done,after 
 he had again commended himself most 
 devoutly to Almighty God, he took some 
 quiet rest ; after which he spake not many 
 words, but those he uttered, showed his 
 memory and other senses to have been 
 perfect, his tongue only failing him ; and 
 in this manner, about seven o'clock at 
 night, he rendered his soul to God in a 
 most quiet and peaceable manner. 
 
COMFORT 
 
 THE HEAVY LADEN. 
 
 The Lord. My beloved, why fear-, 
 est thou, and art so cast down and 
 disquieted within thyself? Dost thou 
 well to be angry with my chastise- 
 ments ? And why art thou offended, 
 that I should make thee like to my- 
 self, causing thee to walk in that 
 way of inward and outward griefs, 
 which I did tread before thee ? Why 
 refuse st thou to take up my cross and 
 follow me, and to taste of that cup 
 which I drank before thee, and for 
 thee? 
 
 The Soul O Lord, give me of thy 
 Spirit, and all trouble with thee, or 
 
 23 
 
24 COMFORT FOR 
 
 for thee, shall be sweet unto me. 
 Whatever thou didst bear, O Lord, 
 it was for me ; and if I were so 
 disposed as I should, then would I 
 be content to bear all that thou, my 
 God, shouldst please to lay on me. j 
 But, alas ! it is my cursed corruption 
 that makes me think thy cross my 
 burthen. Lord, therefore, uphold 
 me with thy grace, that I may count 
 thy yoke easy, and find joy in these 
 sufferings with thee ! 
 
 The Lord. I know the cause of 
 thy grief and terror to be the consid- 
 eration of thy sins. But, I pray 
 thee, why lookest thou so to thy sins, 
 that thou lookest not also to my mer- 
 cies ? Why wouldest thou so extol 
 thy evil deeds, that thou shouldest 
 extenuate my rich mercies, or in any 
 way compare the one with the other ? 
 Was it for thy good deeds that first 
 I entered into friendship with thee ? 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 25 
 
 and tliinkest thou now, that for thy 
 evil deeds I will utterly forsake thee, 
 seeing it is among my praises, that 
 the work which I begin, I perfect? 
 I like it well, indeed, to see thee 
 grieved for the" sins thou hast done 
 against me ; but I would have thee 
 also comforted in the mercies that I 
 have showed thee. Call to mind my 
 works of old, and what I have done 
 to thee since thou canst remember. 
 How cared I for thee in thy young 
 and tender years ! Look back now 
 and see : did not the Angel of my 
 presence lead thee, when thou hadst 
 no wisdom nor strength to govern 
 thee? Did I not then begin to 
 acquaint thee with the knowledge 
 and fear of my name ? Canst thou 
 deny now that my mercy preserved 
 thee from many sins whereunto thy 
 nature was prone, and ready to have 
 declined ? And when thou sinnedst, 
 
 3 
 
26 COMFORT FOR 
 
 with what long patience have I 
 waited thy turning! and how lov- 
 ingly have I borne with thy trans- 
 gressions ! And when I had given 
 thee grace to repent of thy sins, and 
 to seek my favour and mercy for the 
 sins of thy youth, with a melting 
 heart and a mourning eye, canst 
 thou deny that I have filled thy 
 heart with my joys, and made thy 
 tongue burst out in glorying speech ? 
 And why, then, wilt thou not trust 
 in my mercies to the end ? 
 
 The Soul I were, O Lord, most 
 unthankful, if I should not confess, 
 that many a time in the multitude 
 of my thoughts, thy mercies have 
 comforted me : but, alas ! I have not 
 answered thy loving kindness; for 
 after many mercies received, I have 
 sinned against thee, contrary to my 
 light; and my sins are now before 
 me, witnessing that I am unworthy 
 
THE HEAVr LADEN. 27 
 
 to taste of the sweetness of thy 
 mercy any more. 
 
 The Lord. Is my mercy only for 
 a day, or for a year ? or is it for ever 
 and ever towards those whom I have 
 made mine in Christ Jesus? Wilt 
 thou restrain my mercies, and limit 
 them within so narrow bounds, as to 
 think they cannot be extended over 
 all thy transgressions? Wilt thou 
 measure my mercies with so narrow 
 a span, as to think I have no more to 
 give than thou hast a heart to receive? 
 Is it not among my praises, that I am 
 able to do exceeding abundantly 
 above all that my children can ask or 
 think of me ? Knowest thou not, that 
 as the heavens are above the earth, so 
 my thoughts are above thine ? Hast 
 thou not considered that my mercy is 
 above all my works ? How much 
 more, then, is it above thee, who art 
 nothing in comparison of my works ; 
 
28 COMFORT FOR 
 
 and, if it be above thee, how much 
 more above all that thou canst do ? 
 Why, then, wilt thou match thy sins 
 with my mercies ? If I require such 
 mercy in my children, that I will have 
 one of them to forgive another, not 
 only seven times, but seventy times 
 seven, what pity, and compassion, and 
 readiness to forgive is in myself! 
 
 Therefore, my beloved, despair 
 not for the multitude of thy sins, 
 but be comforted with my promises 
 of mercy. I have made them without 
 any exception of time ; for at what 
 time soever a sinner doth repent him 
 of his sins, I have promised to put 
 away his wickedness out of my re- 
 membrance. I have made them 
 without exception of sins ; for al- 
 though your sins were as scarlet, 
 they shall be made as' white as snow. 
 I have made them without exception 
 of persons ; for, whosoever shall de- 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 29 
 
 part from his wicked ways, and turn 
 to me, I shall receive him. Let this 
 threefold universality of my pro- 
 mises sustain thee, that thy infidelity 
 contract not my mercies into nar- 
 rower bounds than I have extended 
 them. 
 
 The Soul. Be merciful, O Lord, 
 to my infidelity. I believe in part. 
 Lord, help my unbelief: establish 
 and confirm my unstable heart with 
 thy good and holy Spirit My con- 
 science doth in such sort condemn 
 me, that I stand in fear of thy 
 justice ; for thou art greater than 
 the conscience, and wilt much more 
 condemn me, if thou dost enter into 
 judgment with me. 
 
 The Lord. Oh, my beloved, con- 
 sider that the cause of thy present 
 unquietness is because with the one 
 eye thou lookest to thy sins and my 
 Father's justice ; and with the other 
 
30 COMFORT FOR 
 
 lookest not to me, in whom his 
 justice is satisfied, and thy sins 
 punished already. Tell me, I pray 
 thee, thinkest thou to get in thyself, 
 and the holiness of thy disposition, 
 that which shall exempt thee from 
 the fear of his justice ? Or, art 
 thou content to seek it in me ? If 
 in thyself thou seekest it, remember 
 what thou art doing. Wilt thou 
 have the Lord hound and obliged to 
 thee ? Wilt thou be thine own sa- 
 viour ? or shall it be said, His mercy 
 saved thee not ? If no misery were 
 in thee, whereupon should his mercy 
 be manifested ? and if thy disposition 
 in the earth were such as it should 
 be, then what remaineth, but that 
 the praise of his mercy should fall to 
 the ground? Turn thee, therefore, 
 to me, and seek thy life in me. 
 
 If thou wilt know what is thine, 
 thou art a sinner. Let my praise be 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 31 
 
 reserved to myself: I am thy Sa- 
 viour. Esteemest thou that my 
 wounds are ineffectual ? or that there 
 is no force in my sufferings ? Count- 
 est thou thy sins so deadly, that my 
 merit and virtue cannot cure them ? 
 Will a physician pour out a rare 
 ointment, either where no need is, 
 or else where it cannot profit ? and 
 thinkest thou that my Father would 
 have my blood to be shed in vain ? 
 If his justice terrify thee, remember 
 his justice was satisfied in me, and 
 that he pronounceth this sentence 
 himself, " This is my well-beloved 
 Son, in whom I am well pleased," 
 Matt. iii. 17. I came into the world, 
 not to call the righteous, but sinners 
 to repentance, Matt, ix, 13. Tarry 
 not from me, because thou art a 
 sinner; but for that cause come to 
 me, and I will refresh thee. 
 
 The Soul O Lord, I know that 
 
COMFORT FOR 
 
 there is a cleansing and reconciling 
 virtue in thy blood — that life is in thy 
 death; but still I fear my sins deserve 
 thou shouldst neither apply thy vir- 
 tue nor thy merits to me : for, alas ! 
 I find that yet the old man is strong 
 and lively in me, and that yet the 
 motions of sin have power in me, to 
 bring forth fruit unto death. 
 
 The Lord, Be not, I pray thee, 
 injurious to the work of my grace in 
 thee : complain not so of thy cor- 
 ruption, but that thou mayst give 
 unto me my own praise. Canst 
 thou deny but that thou hast felt my 
 power working in thy soul ? Have 
 I not sprinkled thy conscience many 
 times with the pacifying blood of 
 Christ, from which hath flowed to 
 thee such a witnessing of good 
 things, such a sense of mercy as for 
 the time hath rilled thy heart with 
 joy, and thy mouth with songs of 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 33 
 
 praise ? Have I not sometimes stir- 
 red thee up in great fervency to call 
 on the name of the Lord ? Have 
 I not made thee to give Christ's 
 name a public testimony with thine 
 own disadvantage ? and how oft hath 
 thine heart been effectually moved 
 at the hearing of my word, in such 
 sort that it hath wrought in thee an 
 holy remorse, and an inward con- 
 trition for thy sins, which hath 
 broken out into tears ? Have I not 
 made thee a wrestler against thy 
 inordinate lusts ! Have I not given 
 thee strength many a time to stand 
 against Satan's temptations, whereas 
 if^I had left thee to thyself, how 
 often hadst thou been made a prey 
 to thine enemy ? 
 
 Rememberest thou not that the 
 tempter hath assaulted thee, but I 
 have withdrawn the occasion of sin ? 
 and when the occasion served, did 
 
34 COMPORT FOR 
 
 not I restrain and hold back the 
 tempter ? Yea, when both the tempt- 
 er and occasion were present, have I 
 not filled thy heart with the fear and 
 love of my name, and so kept thee 
 from sinning against me? And 
 whereas, many times, of thy weak- 
 ness thou hast offended, did I not 
 with a melting heart, and mourning 
 eye, raise thee again, and renew my 
 former familiarity with thee, so that 
 thou canst never say, from the first 
 hour that I began to renew thee, that 
 I suffered thee to lie in thy sin, as I 
 have done others that are strangers 
 from my grace? And many more 
 notable effects of my working in 
 thee thou canst not deny. 
 
 Are not these the undoubted 
 tokens of my grace in thee ? Will 
 nature do such things ? May est thou 
 not feel by these, that I have begun 
 to apply to thee my merit for the 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 35 
 
 remission of thy sin, and my virtue 
 for quickening thee to a new life ? 
 Therefore, think of thyself as basely 
 as thou wilt, but let the work of my 
 grace be esteemed of thee according 
 to the excellency of it. Be humble 
 and cast down when thou lookest to 
 thine own corruption. I find no 
 fault with thee, but I rejoice and am 
 glad at the new workmanship which 
 I have begun in thee. Indeed, if 
 there were nothing in thee but that 
 which thou hast of nature, thy estate 
 were miserable ; but as thou seest a 
 new workmanship in thee, be com- 
 forted. Art thou so in darkness, 
 that there is no light in thee? or 
 doth sin so possess thee, that beside 
 it, also, there is not in thee a will to 
 do good, and a love to righteousness ? 
 If thou sayest thou hast no sin in 
 thee, thou art a liar; and if thou 
 sayest that there is no other thing in 
 
36 COMFORT FOR 
 
 thee but sin, thou art also a liar. 
 And thinkest thou that seeing I have 
 beo-un to translate thee from dark- 
 ness into my light, and to make thee 
 a new creature — thinkest thou that 
 I will leave thee until I have done 
 my work in thee? Therefore, my 
 beloved ! give not such ear to Satan, 
 or thine own corruption, as to take 
 their testimony against me, or to 
 make thee think that my pledges 
 which I have given thee are not 
 worthy of credit, that by them thou 
 shouldst be assured of mercy. 
 
 The Soul I cannot deny, O Lord, 
 but that many times I have felt the 
 sweetness of thy heavenly consola- 
 tions, which have greatly rejoiced 
 my soul. But, alas ! my grief is so 
 much the greater, that, by mine own 
 default, I should now be deprived of 
 them : for I have grieved thy Holy 
 Spirit; yea, I have done what I 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 37 
 
 could to quench him : and therefore 
 it is that the Comforter, who was 
 wont to refresh my soul, is away, 
 nor can I feel his presence with me 
 as before. 
 
 The Lord. Because I am not 
 changed, therefore is it that ye, O 
 sons of Jacob, are not consumed. 
 Many indeed are the changes where- 
 unto ye are subject, but I remain the 
 same, and there is no shadow of 
 alteration with me, (James i. 17). 
 Be not, therefore, afraid, O my well- 
 beloved, neither esteem thyself to be 
 rejected of me; although sometime 
 I hid my face from thee, all my 
 ways are mercy and truth to mine. 
 It is for thee that sometimes I go 
 from thee ; and it is for thee that 
 again I return unto thee : for if I 
 come, it is for thy consolation, that 
 continual heavines, through thy 
 manifold temptations, should not 
 
 4 
 
38 COMFORT FOR 
 
 oppress thee. How oft hast thou 
 found this, when thou wert sick of 
 love, I have strengthened thee with 
 the flagons of my wine, and comfort- 
 ed thee with my apples ? My fruit 
 hath been sweet in thy mouth, and 
 I have put my left hand under thy 
 head, and with my right hand I 
 have embraced thee, Sol. Song ii. 
 5, 6. 
 
 But lest the greatness of my con- 
 solations should exalt thee to disdain 
 thy brother, and offend me, by im- 
 puting that to thine own disposition, 
 which thou hast of my dispensation, 
 I have again withdrawn these orlo- 
 rious feelings from thee. Give me 
 the praise that I know best what is 
 expedient for thee. Had my servant 
 Paul need to be humbled with the 
 buffets of Satan, lest he should have 
 been exalted out of measure by the 
 greatness of his revelations ? and hast 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 39 
 
 not thou need that by thy inward 
 exercises I should hold thee humble ? 
 If my comfort were always present 
 with thee, thou wouldest think thy 
 heaven and permanent city were on 
 earth, and so cease to inquire for a 
 better to come : thou wouldst take 
 the place of thy banishment for thy 
 home, and the earnest for the princi- 
 pal sum which I have promised thee. 
 Consider this wisely with thyself, 
 that although I smile not alike on 
 thee at all times, and fill thee not 
 always with my joys, yet I always 
 love thee ; for whom I love, I love 
 unto the end. If I close the door of 
 my chamber upon thee, it is not to 
 hold thee out, but to teach thee to 
 knock. If I cover myself with many 
 veils, that thou canst not see a 
 glance of my loving countenance, it 
 is only to stir thee up to seek me ; 
 and if sometimes I seem to go from 
 
40 COMFORT FOR 
 
 thee, it is to provoke thee to follow 
 me, that thou mayest make haste 
 from the earth to heaven, where thou 
 shalt enjoy me without intermission. 
 Was Joseph so wise as to conceal 
 his tender affection from his brethren 
 till he had brought them to an hum- 
 ble acknowledging of their sin? And 
 was he again so loving, that when 
 he saw them humbled, his affections 
 were inflamed, and compelled him 
 to reveal himself unto them? and 
 thinkest thou that I am less wise 
 and loving in dealing with mine ? 
 
 I gave, at the first, sharp answers 
 to the petitions of that woman of 
 Canaan, and so I sometimes seem to 
 deal roughly with those whom I 
 love, and to be angry even at their 
 prayers ; but in the end I will make 
 my love manifest to them, and with 
 my endless mercies embrace them. 
 
 The Soul Suffer me yet once 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 41 
 
 again, Lord, to speak unto thee, that 
 thou mayest answer me, and I shall 
 complain no more. If we saw that 
 such were our disposition, as thy 
 holy word doth require in us, then 
 should thy comforts rejoice us ; but, 
 alas ! how far am I from that which 
 I should be ! My strength is en- 
 feebled, therefore do my inordinate 
 affections ofttimes overcharge me. 
 If I turn me to pray, I cannot for 
 the hardness of my heart : the con- 
 trite spirit, the melting heart, the 
 mourning eye, are gone from me. 
 If I seek comfort in thy word, I 
 find it not. I am troubled also with 
 doubtings; armies of fears and sor- 
 rows are against me — and all through 
 weakness of my faith ; for partly for 
 want of that light that should inform 
 me, my infidelity abuseth me, to 
 think that thy visitations come from 
 thine anger, and causeth me to an- 
 
 4* 
 
42 COMFORT FOR 
 
 swer the errors of my conscience, as 
 if they were just accusations; and 
 partly for want of that apprehending 
 and applying virtue that is in faith, 
 I am spoiled of the comfort that thy 
 word hath offered unto me: there- 
 fore, O Lord, have pity on the deso- 
 late state of my soul. 
 
 The Lord. Let not, my beloved, 
 the consideration of thy wants, de- 
 fects, and imperfections discourage 
 thee : remember that the measure of 
 grace which I have given to my 
 saints upon earth, I have called it 
 the first fruits of the Spirit, to tell 
 them that whatever grace they have 
 gotten, it is nothing in comparison 
 of that which they will get. Seek 
 not, therefore, that in the earth which 
 I have resolved to give thee no ways 
 till thou dost come to heaven. Thy 
 blessedness in this life stands not in 
 a satiety and full enjoying of that 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 43 
 
 which thou wouldest have, but in 
 an hungering and thirsting for it. 
 If I had pronounced them blessed 
 that are now satisfied with right- 
 eousness, then thy wants might most 
 justly have discouraged thee ; but I 
 called them blessed that hunger. 
 If, therefore, thou dost follow after 
 sanctification, and art weary of the 
 servitude of thy sin; if thou dost 
 seek comfort in my word, and canst 
 find none of these at the first, as 
 thou wouldst ; yet remember I have 
 promised to fulfil the desires of them 
 that fear me. 
 
 If it grieve thee, that thou canst 
 not pray at all times alike, remem- 
 ber that my children are oftentimes 
 evil judges of themselves, and that 
 their estate is not always to be mea- 
 sured according to their feeling ; for 
 many prayers may be made in them 
 to me, by my Spirit, with sighs and 
 
44 COMFORT FOR 
 
 sobs, which they themselves are not 
 able to express, yet are known to 
 me, and are like loud crying voices, 
 which I cannot but answer. 
 
 The Soul O, my soul, content 
 thee with the Lord's dispensation, 
 and doubt not but all thy wants and 
 holy desires shall once be satisfied. 
 Remember how careful thy Saviour 
 was of those people that followed 
 him. " I have compassion," saith 
 he, "on this people, because they 
 have continued with me already 
 three days, and have nothing to eat : 
 I will not let them depart fasting, 
 lest they faint in the way," Mark 
 viii. 1. Oh, most sweet and com- 
 fortable speeches ! They seek not 
 from him, and he is careful to give 
 them. If he was so careful to satisfy 
 their bodily necessities, will he ne- 
 glect the spiritual necessities of his 
 own? They followed him three 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 45 
 
 days, and he counteth it a long 
 time : they are to go from him, and 
 he feareth lest they faint. O my 
 distrustful soul, wilt thou once learn 
 to trust in the mercy of thy God 
 assuredly ? Will he not satiate thee, 
 who seekest him ? Will he not answer 
 thee, who criest unto him ? Will he 
 not care for thee, who hast waited 
 upon him, not three days, but many 
 years ? And will he let thee faint in 
 following him, who would not let 
 them faint who were to go from 
 him ? O sweet Saviour, happy are 
 they who trust in thee. Lord, there- 
 fore, increase my faith in thee, that 
 nothing be able ever to sunder me 
 from thee. 
 
 The Lord. As for the weakness of 
 thy faith, which I see is the ground 
 of all thy trouble, it proceedeth 
 either from the want of knowledge, 
 or else from the want of application. 
 
46 COMFORT FOR 
 
 It is, indeed, a special benefit to 
 have the mind enlightened with true 
 light. Seek, therefore, my light to 
 shine unto thee by continual prayer 
 and searching the Scriptures, that 
 thou be not troubled with the error 
 of conscience, as if it were a just 
 accusation. I have set conscience, 
 indeed, to be a warner unto thee; 
 but then shalt thou take heed to her 
 warnings, when they are warranted 
 by my word. If the error of thy 
 conscience terrify thee in anything, 
 and make thee think that thy crosses 
 and visitations do come from mine 
 anger, go and inform conscience 
 better by the word. Remember, 
 whom I chastise, I love ; and when 
 I chastise thee, I am not seeking a 
 satisfaction to my justice. What mar- 
 vel, such thoughts disquiet many? 
 Consider, I pray thee, that notable 
 promise of mine, made to my servant 
 David, and, in him, to all the rest 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 47 
 
 of my saints : — " If they break my 
 statutes, I will visit their transgres- 
 sions with the rod; yet my loving 
 kindness will I not utterly take from 
 him, neither break my covenant," 
 Psa. lxxxix. 31—33. 
 . The Soul O words full of comfort ! 
 My soul, forget it never, that even 
 when his rod is laid on thee, yet 
 his loving kindness is not taken 
 from thee; and though thy trans- 
 gressions be many, yet will he not 
 alter his covenant with thee. Re- 
 member it, I say, that in thy trouble 
 thou give no more place to these 
 misconceptions of God's working for 
 thee. As godly Job thought in his 
 trouble that the Lord was pursuing 
 him for his sins, and making him to 
 possess the iniquities of his youth, 
 which, as yet appears by the course 
 of that history, was not the Lord's 
 intention, so have I thought many 
 times that the heavy hand of the 
 
4S COMFORT FOR 
 
 Lord laid on me had proceeded from 
 his wrath, as if he had shut up his 
 tender mercy in displeasure from 
 me for ever: but, Lord, let thy light 
 abide with me, that I sin no more 
 with such distrustful motions against 
 thee ! And now, Lord, speak on 
 yet further to thy servant, for thy 
 comforts have rejoiced my soul 
 
 The Lord, Now, concerning the 
 weakness of thy faith in the appre- 
 hension and the application of my 
 promises, remember that I am He 
 who w T ill not break the bruised reed, 
 nor quench the smoking flax. What 
 smaller thing is there than a grain 
 of mustard seed? Although the 
 measure of thy faith were no more, 
 yet have I not excluded it from the 
 participation of my promises. 
 
 A loving father will delight to be 
 holden by the hand of his tender 
 child ; and knowest thou not that as 
 a father spareth his son, so will the 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 49 
 
 Lord spare them that fear him ? Mai. 
 iii. 17. Hast thou not read, that 
 although the faith of my servant 
 Jacob was very weak, as thou may- 
 est perceive by the great fear he 
 conceived of Esau, yet his weak 
 faith was able to hold me till I bles- 
 sed him ? Be not therefore discour- 
 aged ; for although thou canst not 
 lay hold on me with the hand of 
 strong faith, if thou canst but touch 
 the hem of my garment with thy 
 finger, thou shalt draw virtue out of 
 me. Consider also with thyself, that 
 the faith of my children is never 
 greater than when their feeling is 
 weakest and least perceived. It is 
 easier for every one to believe in the 
 midst of glorious feelings and un- 
 speakable joys; but when a man 
 can feel no sensible comfort in me, 
 and yet believeth in me, and waiteth 
 on me for comfort, certainly the 
 5 
 
50 COMFORT FOR ' 
 
 faith of that man is great. And 
 such was the faith of my servant, 
 who, in his greatest trouble, gave 
 me this answer: — Although thou 
 wouldest slay me, O Lord, yet, both 
 against sense and feeling, will I 
 trust in thee ! And did not, also, 
 that woman of Canaan, with invin- 
 cible faith, cleave to my mercy, even 
 then when she had no feeling of 
 mercy, and I gave her no favourable 
 answer, for which in the end I called 
 her faith a great faith? 
 
 The Soul. O my Saviour, thou 
 art the strength whereby I stand in 
 temptation. Cursed be he that would 
 make my soul to conceive wrong- 
 fully of thee. Be merciful, O Lord, 
 unto me, and never let the malice 
 of mine enemy prevail over me. 
 Sweet Jesus, keep the heart that 
 through thine own grace would fain 
 keep thee. And now, my soul, re- 
 member that this is but the time of 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 51 
 
 fighting : the time of triumphing 
 will come. Why, then, shall the 
 continuance of these restless assaults 
 disquiet thee ? If thou hadst never 
 been victorious but once in all thy 
 lifetime, yet what mercy had it been 
 that the Lord, in the midst of the 
 battle, should make thee to triumph ? 
 But thou canst not deny that many 
 joyful victories, now and before, hath 
 the Lord given thee. 
 
 Therefore now, my soul, rejoice 
 and return to thy former rest, for the 
 Lord hath been beneficial to thee ; 
 and account thou every one of these 
 temporal victories a pledge to thee 
 of that full and final victory that 
 once thou shalt enjoy over all thine 
 enemies, when the God of peace shall 
 tread down Satan under thy feet. 
 
 The Soul rejoiceth in the Lord. 
 
 O Lord, if such comfort be in thy 
 cross, what is in thy crown? And 
 
52 COMFORT FOR 
 
 if thou dost give us such joy, when 
 thou takest us into thy hand to 
 correct us with thy rod, Lord, what 
 wilt thou make us to find when thou 
 shalt embrace us in thy arms, to 
 kiss us with the kisses of thy mouth ? 
 Oh, that these feelings migdit for 
 ever abide with me ! What trouble 
 would not be easy where thy com- 
 forts are present ! Surely, O Lord, 
 all trouble vanisheth so soon as thou 
 dost begin to glance upon my soul. 
 Therefore, O my love, my light, my 
 life, my joy, my crown, my glory, 
 my strength, my help in the time 
 of need, stand thou on my side, and 
 I will not fear what my enemy can 
 do to me ! Oh, happy time that 
 ever I knew thee ! Blessed be the 
 name of the Lord for evermore. 
 
 The Soul doth triumph over Satan. 
 
 O Satan, my enemy ! although 
 thine enmity be troublesome unto 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 53 
 
 me, yet I thank my God, through 
 Jesus Christ, that thou art against 
 me, and that he hath put me in his 
 warfare to ficdit against thee. 
 
 When I consider that in Paradise 
 the Lord proclaimed irreconcilable 
 enmity between thee and my blessed 
 Saviour, the seed of the woman, 
 Christ Jesus, I account my hope 
 happy that thou art against me; and 
 that grace is given unto me to fight 
 against thee, for thereby I know 
 that I am none of thine; but I do 
 stand on that side whereof Christ is 
 the Captain, all his saints are sol- 
 diers, and the victory is most certain. 
 
 O deceitful serpent ! if I have 
 found such error arising of those 
 sins, which foolishly I did by thy 
 enticements, what should I have 
 found if I had followed thee in all 
 the rest, from the which the Lord's 
 preventing mercies did keep me? 
 
54 COMFORT FOR 
 
 I have learned by experience that 
 thou art a faithless traitor : thou dost 
 tempt a man to sin, and for the same 
 sins, which he did by thy instiga- 
 tion, thou art the first that doth 
 accuse him. | 
 
 The Lord confirm this good pur- j 
 pose of my heart, that I never heark- 
 en any more to thy lying words, and 
 suffer not my soul to be circum- 
 vented with thy deceitful snares. 
 And as for the work of my salvation, 
 seeing it is a work that my God 
 will work in despite of thee, where- 
 fore shall I regard thy testimony? 
 Thou didst put it in question to my 
 Saviour, whether or no he was the 
 Son of God ; and what marvel if 
 thou darest say to his children, that 
 they are none of his ? Is there any 
 truth so undoubted but thou darest 
 deny it at any time? Why, therefore, 
 shall I enter into disputing with thee 
 any more? My salvation standeth 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 55 
 
 neither in thy questioning, nor in 
 my answering ; but upon the Lord's 
 unchangeable decree of election. 
 
 If thou shouldest speak for me, 
 yet should I not be the better ; 
 neither if thou speak against me, 
 am I the worse. When thou didst 
 confess that Jesus was the Son of God, 
 he rebuked thee, and thought it no 
 honour to him to have thy testimony. 
 When thou didst cry out that Paul 
 and Silas were the servants of the 
 most high God, although thou spak- 
 est the truth, yet did they not accept 
 of thy testimony ; so, although thou 
 wouldest say to me, that I was the 
 elect child of God, shall I think my- 
 self the surer for that? and if, on 
 the contrary, thou dost deny it, am I 
 therefore the more unsure of salva- 
 tion? Speak what thou wilt, thou 
 art always like thyself, thou hast 
 been a liar from the beffinniner. 
 Cursed of the Lord art thou in all 
 
56 COMFORT FOR 
 
 thy ways, and with all thy confeder- 
 ates ; cursed are they that are in 
 friendship with thee ; and blessed for 
 ever be the Lord, who hath delivered 
 me from thy deceit and tyranny. 
 
 The Conclusion of the Dialogue. 
 
 Blessed be thou, Lord, for that 
 it hath pleased thee to visit the base 
 estate of thy servant, to succour me 
 in my distress, and to comfort me 
 with thy mercies. Lord, evermore 
 feed me with this manna, and refresh 
 me with the springs of the water of 
 life. Show at all times some sign 
 of thy mercy on me, that mine 
 enemy Satan, who laboureth to dis- 
 quiet me, may be ashamed, because 
 thou art with me to succour me. 
 
 A comfortable Meditation. 
 
 If ye will mark and consider, ye 
 shall find that the children of God, 
 in all their temptations, are not so 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 57 
 
 much doers with their will, as suf- 
 ferers against their will. This cogi- 
 tation coming to my mind, suddenly 
 comfort did spring in the midst 
 of trouble, God giving me grace 
 to understand that these motions 
 wherewith I am troubled were not 
 so much actions done by me ; for, in 
 truth, neither do I like or allow of 
 them, but as spiritual oppressions 
 of mine enemy, who still warreth 
 against me, sometimes with armies 
 of fears, sometimes with armies of 
 doubtings, and sometimes with bands 
 of unclean and wandering motions, 
 and sometimes with troops of worldly 
 cares making invasion upon my soul, 
 and labouring to quench the spark 
 of spiritual life which the Lord had 
 begun in me. Therefore, answer for 
 me, O Lord, for I suffer violence. 
 My enemy would oppress me, but 
 Lord, my hope for ever is in thee : 
 succour me with thy strength, and I 
 
58 COMFORT FOR 
 
 shall live. And, Lord, impute not 
 to me any of those sinful motions 
 which my enemy raiseth in me 
 against my soul. 
 
 Consider this wisely, O my soul, 
 and remember it. God that hath 
 entered thee into this warfare, and is 
 thy spectator and helper, will never 
 reckon up to thee Satan's deeds for 
 thine ; and learn thou wisely how to 
 distinguish them, and faint not for 
 them; but comfort thyself as long 
 as thou art able to stand to thy pro- 
 testation, that thou dost suffer vio- 
 lence in them, and canst say with 
 the apostle, "It is not I, but sin 
 that dwelleth in me," Rom. vii. 20. 
 O Lord, deliver me from the rage of 
 this spiritual tyranny. Many a 
 time have I looked to have been 
 swallowed up, but thou hast sus- 
 tained me. Blessed be my God for 
 ever, and the Lord be my strength 
 to the end ! 
 
THE HEAVY LADEN. 59 
 
 A Prayer. 
 O Lord, how can it be possible 
 that my soul can live here in this 
 absence from thee? or walk in the 
 midst of these continual snares, or 
 stand against these raging tempta- 
 tions, except it please thee now and 
 then to show thy face unto me ? 
 Joseph's state in prison was not so 
 heavy as mine ; his temptations in 
 Potiphar's house were not so contin- 
 ual as mine are; and Daniel's fear 
 in the midst of lions was no greater 
 than mine, who every day taste of a 
 thousand deaths. Jeremiah, in his 
 dark dungeon, was not vexed with 
 such horrors as daily gather them- 
 selves against me. The only com- 
 fort of my soul is in thy mercies. 
 Thou wast with Joseph, and there- 
 fore the prison was more pleasant to 
 him than Potiphar's palace. Thou 
 wast with Daniel, and therefore the 
 raging lions were peaceable to him. 
 
60 COMFORT FOR THE HEAVY LADEN. 
 
 Lord, be with me, and increase thy 
 strength in my soul, and I shall live. 
 Though the time be not yet come 
 wherein I shall appear in thy pres- 
 ence and see thee, yet, Lord, let me 
 have in this land of my pilgrimage 
 those glances of thy sweet and lov- 
 ing countenance that may sustain 
 me : for thou, Lord, art able to let 
 me see as much joy in thy sweet 
 face in one hour as may sustain me 
 for ever ; and without this sight, 
 how can my faith but fail, my hope 
 but hover, and my life but languish ? 
 Therefore, O Lord, hide not thy face 
 from my soul for ever : but as thou 
 dost acquaint me with troubles, so let 
 me see at all times, that as my suffer- 
 ings do abound in me, so my consola- i 
 tions may abound through Christ Je- 
 sus. I know thou always beholdest me J 
 in mercy; but,Lord,letme see that thou 
 lookest upon me, that I may feel thy 
 mercies sweet unto my soul. Amen. 
 
THE 
 
 INTOLERABLENESS 
 
 OP 
 
 A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 
 
 Not only the desperate cries of 
 Cain, Judas, and many other such 
 miserable men of forlorn hope, but 
 also the woful complaints even of 
 God's own dear children, discover the 
 truth of this point, to wit, the terrors 
 and intolerableness of a wounded 
 conscience. Hear how ruefully three 
 ancient worthies in their times wrest- 
 led with the wrath of God in this 
 kind. "I reckoned till morning," 
 saith Hezekiah, " that, as a lion, so 
 will he break all my bones," (Isa. 
 
 *From " A Treatise on Comforting Afflicted Con- 
 sciences," by the Rev. Robert Bolton. 
 
 G 61 
 
62 THE INTOLERABLENESS OP 
 
 xxxviii. 13.) Even as the weak and 
 trembling limbs of some lesser ne- 
 glected beast are crushed and torn 
 in pieces by the irresistible paw of 
 an unconquerable lion ; so was his 
 troubled soul terrified and broken 
 with the anger of the Almighty. 
 He could not speak for bitterness of 
 grief and anguish of heart, "but 
 chattered like a crane or a swallow, 
 and mourned like a dove," "Thou 
 writest bitter things against me," 
 saith Job, " and makest me to possess 
 the iniquities of my youth. The 
 arrows of the Almighty are within 
 me, the poison whereof drinketh up 
 my spirit : the terrors of God do set 
 themselves in array against me. Oh 
 that I might have my request ; and 
 that God would grant me the thing 
 that I long for ! Even that it would 
 please God to destroy me, that he 
 would let loose his hand and cut me 
 
A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 63 
 
 off." Nay, yet worse : " Thou scarest 
 me with dreams and terriflest me 
 through visions. So that my soul 
 chooseth strangling and death rather 
 than my life." (Job xiii. 26 ; vi. 4, 
 8, 9; vii. 14, 15.) Though God in 
 mercy preserves his servants from 
 the monstrous and most abhorred 
 act of self-murder, yet in some me- 
 lancholy mood, horror of mind, and 
 bitterness of spirit, they are not quite 
 freed from all impatient wishes that 
 way, and sudden suggestions there- 
 unto. " My bones waxed old," saith 
 David, " through my roaring all the 
 day long. Day and night thy hand 
 was heavy upon me; my moisture 
 is turned into the drought of summer. 
 Thine arrows stick fast in me, and 
 thy hand presseth me sore. There 
 is no soundness in my flesh, because 
 of thine anger : neither is there any 
 rest in my bones, because of my sin. 
 
64 THE INTOLERABLENESS OP 
 
 For mine iniquities are gone over 
 my head : as an heavy burthen they 
 are too heavy for me. I am troubled, 
 I am bowed down greatly; I go 
 mourning all the day long. I am 
 feeble and sore broken, I have roared 
 by reason of the disquietness of my 
 heart." (Psalm xxxii. 3, 4; xxxviii. 
 2, 3, 4, 6, 8.) Hear also into what 
 a depth of spiritual distress three 
 worthy servants of God in these 
 later times were plunged and pressed 
 down, under the sense of God's anger 
 for sin. Blessed Mrs. Brettergh upon 
 her last bed was horribly hemmed in 
 with the sorrows of death ; the very 
 grief of hell laid hold upon her soul; 
 "a roaring wilderness of woe was 
 within her," as she confessed of 
 herself. She said, her sins had made 
 her a prey to Satan, and wished that 
 she had never been born, or that she 
 had been made any other creature, 
 
A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 65 
 
 rather than a woman. She cried 
 out many times, " Woe, woe, woe, 
 &c. ; a weak, a woful, a wretched, 
 a forsaken woman !" with tears con- 
 tinually trickling from her eyes. 
 Mr. Peacock, that man of God, in 
 that his dreadful visitation and de- 
 sertion, recounting some smaller sins, 
 burst out into these words : " And 
 for these," saith he, " I feel now a 
 hell in my conscience." Upon other 
 occasions he cried out, groaning 
 most pitifully ; "Oh me, wretch ! 
 Oh mine heart is miserable ! Oh, 
 oh, miserable and woful ! The bur- 
 then of my sin lieth so heavy upon 
 me, I doubt it will break my heart. 
 Oh how woful and miserable is my 
 state, that thus must converse with 
 hell-hounds!" When by-standers 
 asked if he would pray, he answered, 
 I cannot. Suffer us, say they, to 
 pray for you. " Take not," replied 
 
66 THE INTOLERABLENESS OP 
 
 he, "the name of God in vain, by 
 praying for a reprobate." 
 
 " What grievous pangs, what sor- 
 rowful torments, what boiling heats 
 of the fire of hell that blessed saint 
 of God, John Glover, felt inwardly 
 in his spirit," saith Fox, in his Acts 
 and Monuments, " no speech out- 
 wardly is able to express. Being 
 young," saith he, "I remember I 
 was once or twice with him, when 
 partly by his talk I perceived, and 
 partly by mine own eyes saw him to 
 be so worn and consumed by the space 
 of five years, that neither almost any 
 brooking of meat, quietness of sleep, 
 pleasure of life, yea, and almost no 
 kind of senses, was left in him. 
 Upon apprehension of some back- 
 sliding he was so perplexed, that if 
 he had been in the deepest pit of 
 hell, he could almost have despaired 
 no more of his salvation," saith the 
 
A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 67 
 
 same author. "In which intolerable 
 griefs of mind," saith he, " although 
 he neither had, nor could have any 
 joy of his meat; yet was he com- 
 pelled to eat against his appetite, to 
 the end to defer the time of his 
 damnation so long as he might, 
 thinking with himself no less, but 
 that he must needs be thrown into 
 hell, the breath being once out of 
 his body." 
 
 I dare not pass out of this point, 
 lest some child of God should be 
 here discouraged, before I tell you 
 that every one of these three last 
 named was at length blessedly re- 
 covered, and did rise most gloriously 
 out of their several depths of ex- 
 tremest spiritual misery, before their 
 end. Hear, therefore, also Mrs. 
 Brettergh's triumphant songs and 
 raptures of spirit after the return of 
 her well-beloved : " O Lord Jesus, 
 
68 THE 1NT0LERABLENESS OP 
 
 dost thou pray for me ? O blessed 
 and sweet Saviour, how wonderful, 
 how wonderful, how wonderful are 
 thy mercies! Oh, thy love is un- 
 speakable, that has dealt so gra- 
 ciously with me. Oh my Lord and 
 my God, blessed be thy name for 
 evermore, w\hich hast showed me 
 the path of life. Thou didst, O 
 Lord, hide thy face from me for a 
 little season, but with everlasting 
 mercy thou hast had compassion on 
 me. And now, blessed Lord, thy 
 comfortable presence is come; yea, 
 Lord, thou hast had respect unto 
 thy handmaid, and art come with 
 fulness of joy and abundance of con- 
 solations. Oh blessed be thy name, 
 my Lord and my God. Oh, the 
 joys, the joys, the joys that I feel in 
 my soul! Oh, they be wonderful, 
 they be wonderful, they be wonder- 
 ful! Father, how merciful and 
 
A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 69 
 
 marvellous gracious art thou unto 
 me ! Yea, Lord, I feel thy mercy 
 and I am assured of thy love ; and 
 so certain am I thereof, as thou art 
 the God of truth, even so sure do I 
 know myself to be thine, O Lord 
 my God: and this my soul knoweth 
 right well. Oh blessed be the Lord : 
 oh blessed be the Lord that hath 
 thus comforted me, and hath brought 
 me now to a place, more sweet unto 
 me than the garden of Eden. Oh 
 the joy, the joy, the delightsome joy 
 that I feel ! — Oh praise the Lord for 
 his mercies, and for this joy which 
 my soul feeleth full well ; praise his 
 name for evermore." 
 
 Hear with what heavenly calmness 
 and sweet comforts Mr. Peacock's 
 heart was refreshed and ravished 
 when the storm was over. " Truly, 
 my heart and soul (saith he, when 
 the tempest was something allayed) 
 
70 THE INTOLERABLENESS OP 
 
 have been far led and deeply troubled 
 with temptations and stings of con- 
 science ; but I thank God they are 
 eased in good measure. Wherefore 
 I desire that I be not branded with 
 the note of a castaway or reprobate. 
 Such questions, oppositions, and all 
 tending thereto, I renounce. Con-' 
 cerning my inconsiderate speeches 
 in my temptation, I humbly and 
 heartily ask mercy of God for them 
 all." Afterward by little and little 
 more light did arise in his heart, and 
 he brake out into such speeches as 
 these : "I do, God be praised, feel 
 such comfort from that — what shall 
 I call it ? Agony, said one that stood 
 by. Nay, quoth he, that is too little; 
 that had I five hundred worlds, I 
 could not make satisfaction for such 
 an issue. Oh the sea is not more 
 full of water, nor the sun of light, 
 than the Lord of mercy; yea, his 
 
A WOUNDED CONSCIENCE. 71 
 
 mercies are ten thousand times more. 
 What great cause have I to magnify 
 the great goodness of God that hath 
 humbled, nay rather exalted such a 
 wretched miscreant, and of so base 
 condition, to an estate so glorious 
 and stately ! The Lord hath hon- 
 oured me with his goodness : I am 
 sure he hath provided a glorious 
 kingdom for me. The joy that I 
 feel in my heart is incredible." 
 
 For the third, hear Mr. Fox : 
 " Though that good servant of God, 
 Mr. John Glover, suffered many 
 years so sharp temptations and strong 
 bufferings of Satan, yet the Lord, 
 who graciously preserved him all the 
 while, not only at last did rid him 
 out of all discomfort, but also framed 
 him thereby to such mortification 
 of life, as the like hath not been 
 seen ; in such sort, as he being like 
 one placed in heaven already, and 
 
72 THE INTOLERABLENESS, ETC. 
 
 dead in this world, both in word and 
 meditation, led a life altogether celes- 
 tial, abhorring in his mind all pro- 
 fane things." 
 
Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process 
 Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
 Treatment Date: Nov. 2005 
 
 PreservationTechnologie 
 
 AWORL^LEADER.NPAPERPRESERVAT.0 
 
 111 Thomson Park Drive 
 Cranberry Township. PA 16066 
 (724)779-2111