2449 OR Price 6d. » cents — He ■□ n: FPE-XH'S ACTING EDITION. Ml 'M. wnnniiriWDHDiluWOMDWDBDMDl "D.H.S." LUCIE CONWAY. The AMATEUR FEE for each representation of this piece is 42s., payable in advance to SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 26, Southampton Street, Strand, London, W.C. I ONBOX : SAMUEL I'EENCH, J ti>., PUBLISH i us, 26, SOUTHAMPTON &TREET, STRAND. New York: SAMUEL FRENCH, PUBLISHER, 28, WEST 38TH STREET. □■ Mti) □ * □■ ■□ n* *□ Sg ss n* WD n* g D P g D an n ■a □* g Q ■□ □* MD pi »u □■ ■D n. MDJ DM ' □ ■n n* ■ D ni *□ n: Q □■ n nu n |pi n J3H 3* *5MnHnBnMn)om*nMnBnain*aMnMnMn*nBnHnBnMnMnBn* BELFAST— J. NlCH0LS0N>26 Church Lane. BIRMINGHAM— Jambs Guest, 12, Snow Hill. W.I I. Smith & Son, 34 Union St. DUBLIN- MORROWS Library, 12, Nassau St. EDINBURGH— H. Robinson, lll-115,LeithSt. GLASGOW— Wm. Love, 221, Argyle Street. LEEDS— K.JACKSON,18,Commercial St. LIVERPOOL— J. Burkinshaw & Sons, 28-80, Colquitt Street. MANCHESTER- JOHN Heywoob, Deansgate and. Ridgefleld. NEWCASTLE-ON-TYNE— Thomas Allan, l & 20, Blackett Street. PLYMOUTH— W. Hearber, 195, Union St. PRESTON— J. W Atkinson, 41, Cannon St. BOMBAY— Thacker "D. H. S." Jack. Proposing ? Can't say exactly, but should think about a quarter of an hour. Nellie (looking at programme). I think I can manage that, but don't be too long, as I have some important dances later on. Jack. I'll do my best. Ta ta. (Exit.) (Nellie gets up, looks round room, then settles down again and brings out a letter, reads it to herself and laughs.) Nellie. Poor dear, I think I've kept him dangling long enough. Ah, well ! (Laughs.) (Enter Jack.) Oh, bother ! (Puts letter back quickly.) You have been quick. Jack. It's no good, I'm in such a state of nerves that I thought I'd come back to you and calm down a bit before I actually Nellie. Popped the question. Jack. Yes, that's about it. Nellie. My dear cousin Jack, you're a silly fool. Jack. My dear cousin Nell, that's not the question. Nellie. I know one thing, if I were a man I wouldn't be so chicken-hearted, I'd just out with it. Jack. Would you ? How would you like to be refused, my dear ? Nellie. Wait until you are. Jack. No, that's just what I don't want to do. Nellie. Why don't you take the bull by the horns, tell her you love her (if you do). Jack. Of course I do. I love her face, her form, her beautiful black hair. Nellie. Last time it was a fair girl ; now which do you like the best, dark girls or fair ? Jack. My dear Nell, you ought to know ; you've ■ been both. Nellie. Jack ! " I). H. S." 7 Jack. I beg your pardon. Nellik. Well then, ask her to marry you ; it's simple enough. If the worsl comes to the worst, she can only say no. Jack. You think she will ? Nellie. You've asked me that question before; Jack. Have I ? My nerves are all to ribbons. You girls don't know what we men suffer in eases like these. Nellik. Don't we ? Jack. No, of course not. All you've got to do is to listen Nellie. And to wait! No, my dear Jack, I have no patience with the bashful lover ; my sympathy goes out to the poor girl waiting in awful suspense for a question that doesn't seem ever to be coming. Jack. Selfish brutes. Nellie. How about men ? Jack (sound of anisic). Hallo, did you hear that ? That's another dance. Nellie. Yes, you ought to have settled up before the supper dance. If you don't take care you'll miss your chance. Jack. If only I could get started. That's the rub. Nellie. Really, Jack, you haven't the courage of a fly. I dare say you'd like me to go with you and hold your hand while Jack (very offended). That's so like a girl, never able to take anything seriously and, besides, Nellie, I don't know if you intended to be funny, but that remark of yours was utterly beyond the point. Per- haps you are not aware that I have earned for myself the reputation of being H.S. Nellie. H.S. ! What's that ? Horribly stupid ? Jack. Do you mean to tell me that you don't know the meaning of H.S. or D. H.S. ? Nellie. No. Jack. Why, Damned Hot Stuff, of course. (Walks about with an air of pride.) 8 "D. H. S." Nellie. Damned Hot Stuff ! I don't think that sounds quite nice. Jack. I assure you it's used in the very best society. Only last night, coming out of the Club, I heard (Tells a story.) Nellie. I've heard quite enough, thank you. Jack. I only want to explain. Nellie. That's enough, thank you, and whether it's right or wrong it doesn't seem to help you much just now, does it ? Jack. Oh, but it will. Nellie. I'm glad to hear it. (Crosses stage.) I could make love splendidly. Jack. Could you ? Nellie. Rather. Jack. How would you do it ? Nellie. First of all I'd go up to the girl and ask her for a dance ; then I 'd waltz once round the room, and I 'd lead her away to a secluded spot, and we'd both sit down (they sit), and I'd sec she had a cushion (Jack picks up cushion). Then I'd take her hands and look into her eyes and say— Jack. Yes^ what ? Nellie (acting). " Perhaps you won't believe me when I tell you that you're the nicest girl I've ever met " Jack. That's rather good, but how did you know ? (Nellie smiles.) Go on. Nellie. After that you propose. Jack. Let me hear the whole thing — the first bit was so natural. Nellie. H'm, taken from life, you see. Then I'd pause for a second and see how she takes it ; she'll either make some trivial remark about it being draughty and ask you to fetch her cloak (then you 11 know it's all off), or else she'll say nothing. That's a good sign ; it means she wants to hear more. "D. H. 8." 9 Jack. Is that so ! Nellie. Quite. Then you have the cards in your own hands, and you play them something like this : " Dearest, you know wh;i . I'm going to say to you, you must have seen it in my eyes for the last few weeks. I love you, as T have never loved before. You are my living ideal of all that is noble and true. Don't let me wait in suspense any longer. Say that my love is returned, darling, say it." Jack (excited). Yes Xellie. " The thought that I might lose you has been torturing me. Listen, and I'll tell you what you are to me. You are my guiding star ." Jack. Guiding star ! What's that ? Nellie. Don't interrupt ! (Going straight on.) " You're like a flower, a little wayside flower to the weary wanderer, telling him to hope again, making day out of night, chasing sorrow away, carrying me on, on into a dreamland, and now with your lips, your own dear lips, you make, me the happiest of happy mortals. (Jack kisses hey.) Jack f! ! (Enter Stella Duncan and watches unobserved.) Stella. Ahem ! (Xellie and Jack start.) Both. Oh ! ! (Nellie rushes off.) Jack (in despair). Don't leave me. Stella (loftily). I'm very sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Bolton. I only came to fetch my fan that I left here. I suppose you are aware that this should be our dance. Jack (dazed). No, is it really? How time flies, but if we are quick we can still dance the last bit of it together 10 "D. H. S." Stella. No, thank you ; I don't want to dance. Jack (still dazed). Good, then sit down here, there's a nice soft cushion, and I want to speak to you Stella. Thank you, I'd rather not — it's draughty and I haven't got my cloak. Jack. No, no, don't say that ; don't send me back to fetch it. I mean — I want to tell you some- thing. I like you better than heaps of other girls that I've met. I'm sure you don't believe me, but won't you be my guiding star — ■ — (Takes her hand and tries to kiss her.) Stella. How dare you— how dare you have the impertinence to insult me in such a manner ? Jack. I'm not insulting you. I'm making love. Stella. If you think you can treat me in the same light fashion that you did that woman, you make a great mistake. Jack. She isn't a woman, she's my cousin and she was only trying to help me — out of kindness to me — • and you— oh, what am I talking about ! ! ! Stella. I believe you've been drinking. Jack. On my honour, Stella darling, I've not. Stella. My name is Miss Duncan, if you please. Jack. Just let me expla ; n. It was all because of you that I was talking to Nellie when you came in. Stella. Talking indeed ! kissing. Kindly don't speak to me of thai brazen female. Jack. But she's not brazen. Stella. Indeed ! Jack. I say, you know, you mustn't think of Nellie as brazen. Stella. Do you imagine for one moment that I take sufficient interest in her to think of her. I can't discuss the kind of person that makes love to a man at a dance. (Jack sighs.) What are you sighing for ? Jack. I was only thinking "D. H. S." 11 Stella. I believe you're in love with her. Jack. In love with Nellie ! ! (Aside.) Not a bad idea. Stella. Well ! Jack. What were we talking about ? Stella. Really, Mr. Bolton, if I'm boring you, I'll go. Jack (getting up). Not at all. Shall I escort you back to the ball-room, Miss Duncan ? (Offering his arm.) (They go off [together, Stella furious, Jack] returning almost im mediately.) Jack. Glad I found her out in time. What a cat. (Enter Nellie.) Nellie. Satisfactorily fixed up, Jack ? Jack. No, by Gad, I'm not. Nellie (smiling). I'm so sorry, Jack ; I suppose she saw. Jack. She did. NEllie. I had an inkling she did, and I don't believe she loves me for it either. Jack. She doesn't. (Nellie looks at Jack, who is rigid. Pause.) Nellie. I can quite understand that you are disappointed, but you must try and pull yourself together. Jack (suddenly) . I 'm not disappointed, I 'm happy, radiantly happy. Nellie. I'm very glad to hear it — but I don't think I quite understand. Jack. Nellie, I've made a mistake ; I am not in love with Stella. (Nellie looks perplexed.) No, she led me to believe that I was in love with some one else, and she was right. 12 "D. H. S." Nellie. Oh, Jack, dear, not again. Jack. For the first and last time. Nellie. I wonder ! Jack. Just to think that I might have married Stella and found out too late that I love you. Nellie. Me ! What on- earth are you talking about ? Jack. I love you, Nellie, you and nobody else. We were made for each other. Just think how happy we should be, you with your money, me with my prospects. Nellie (getting up). I can't listen to any more as I've got to keep an appointment now. (Jack gasps.) Yes, I'm so sorry to have to interrupt you, but I'm to meet Lord Melpas in the conservatory. Jack. Lord, help us, in the conservatory ! Nellie. He wants a definite answer to-night, and he's going to get it — the one he wants. (Goes to door, stops, waves her hand.) Bye bye, D.H.S. (Laughs.) (Exit Nellie.) (Jack gazes open-mouthed. Pause.) Jack. Great Scott ! the chuck. (Flops down in chair.) Curtain. Printed by Butler & Tanner, Frome and London. Is. 6d. net Edition. [ment Erperi- Adventure of Lady Ursula AU'Of-a-Sudden Peggy An American Citizen Bear Leaders Beauty and the Barge Billy's Little Love Affair Brace of Partridges Brixton Burglary Captain Swift Cassilis Engagement Charity that Began at Home Country Mouse Dr. Wake's Patient Duke of Killicrankie Facing the Music Fascinating Mr. Vanderveldt Idler Importance of Being Earnest In Chancery Jedbury Junior Lady Huntworth's Lady Windermere's Fan Liberty Hall Little Damozel Lucky Miss Dean Marriage of Kitty Mice and Men Miss Elizabeth's Prisoner Miss Hobbs Mollentrave on Women Mr. Hopkinson 2s. 6d The Barrier Builder of Bridges Case of Rebellious Susan Dancing Girl Fascinating Mr. Vanderveldt The Hypocrites John Glayde'a Honour Joseph Entangled liars Mr. Preedy and the Countess Naked Truth New Boy Niobe Oh ! Susannah ! One Summer's Day Parvenu Passport Perfect Lover Peter's Mother Pilkerton's Peerage Private Secretary Public Opinion Return of the Prodigal Rocket Royal Family Second in Command Sir Anthony Snug Little Kingdom Speckled Band Squire [Brown Strange Adventures of Miss Sunlight and Shadow Tantalising Tommy Two Mr. Wetherbys Walker, London Walls of Jericho When We were Twenty-Ona Wilderness Wisdom of Folly Witness for the Defence Woodbarrow Farm net Library Edition. Manoeuvres of Jane Masqueraders Middleman Mollentrave on Women Mrs. Dane's Defence Perfect Lover Perplexed Husband Silver King Walls ot Jericho LIBRARY CONGRESS FRENCH'S ACTING EDITIC ?284 22.S6 22*6 mi 2288 v>&* 2290 tZtfl 229" K9i 2295 VOLUME 153 Mr. Steinmanu's Corner Slift'a A polony Colour Sergeant Helpless Coupio First Aid to the Wounded Correal Thing Their New Paying Guest [nient Domestic B .tangle- Salt of Lite Time Is Money Wally and the Widow ISmiths Deceitful Mi-8 Holly Tree Inn Cp-to-date Dp- to lift of Old Chelsea VOLUME 15i 2«»« Wrong Side of the Road 8297 The Open Door M»8 Prima Donna (Peua berton) 8299 Lights Out (Fern- berton) 2300 Mirror of Time 2301 Three Blind Mice (Muskerry) Superior Mws Pelleu- X3J8 il'.a uood Genius 2H17 Martha Plays the Fairy 2318 numb Cake 2319 Proposing by Proxy 2320 Phoenix 2321 Boar wain's Mate 2322 Pinal Rehearsal 2323 Two Aunts at a Time 2324 Nelson Touch 2325 Convict on the Hearth VOLUME 160 2329 Grey Parrot £327 Ghost of Jerry Bundler 8328 Bishop's Candle sticks 2320 Peacemaker 2330 Changeling 2331 Wire Entanglement *832 Pride of Regiment 2333 •« 15 2334 Man 2335 O'D 2836 '"g 014 432 692 1 2337 Drama-tin* «v „x™™ 2338 Martha the Sooth- sayer. 2339 Old Martha, 1#. [l». 2340 All Through Martha ich, orye VOLUME 157 2341 Men who Loved Mamie 2342 Fanny and the Ser- vant Problem 284? Come Michaelmas 2344 Teeth of the Gift Horse 234r> French as he is spoke 2346 Meriugues 2347 Mother of Three 2848 Admiral Peters 2349 Henrietta 2350 Feed the Brute. 1*. 2351 Tilda's New Hat. U 2352 We Dine at Seven 2353 Boys' Proposal 2354 Bonnie Dundee 2355 Suffragette . VOLUME 158 2356 The Visit 2357 A Well Matched PaU 2358 For Lack of Evi- dence 2859 Little Mrs. Cunirai. 2360 A Tight Comer 2361 Dear Departed 2362 Pipers Pay 2363 Her Vote 2364 The Electric Man 2365 At the Golden Goose 2306 Her Dearest Krien.l 2367 Love in a Railway Train 2368 Make Believe 2369 Pick of Oakham 2870 Highwayman VOLUME 159 2371 What Would a Gen- tleman Do 7 2872 An Excellent Receipt 2373 Parents' Progress 2392 Hero and Heroine. 239S Jack and Jill and a Friend. 2394 The Touch of Truth. 2395 My Mutual Agree- ment. 2398 Dick's Sister. 2397 A Storm in a T-a- Shop. 2398 The Man in the Stalls 2399 My Wife 2*00 A Plume of Feathers VOLUME 161 2401 Stuffing 2402 Cupid and the Styx 2403 The Admiral Speaks 2404 The Constant Lover 2405 The Bracelet 2408 The Dove Uncaged 2407 The Great Look 2408 Calamity Jane, R.N 2409 In Saramede 2410 A Dear Little Wife 2411 Fancy Free [Butter 2412 The Embarrassed 2413 A Question of Divi- sion 2414 The Odd Man Out 2415 An Object Lesson VOLUME 162* 2416 A Sister to Assist Vr 2417 Wake-up, John Bull ( 2418 The Cat and Mie Cherub 2419 The Likes O' Me 2420 Sealed Silver 2421 The Colonel and the Lady 2422 A Maid of Honour 2428 The Election Petition 2424 A Bit O' Stuff 2425 The Fortune Tellers 2426 Aunt Bessie 2427 A Little Fowl Play 2428 Looking for Trouble 2429 The Touch of a Child 2874 Younger Generation, j 2430 Playing the Game 1« 2875 Three Blind Mlc» I (Law) 2378 Laughter in Court 2377 Pot Luck 2378 Independent Means 1*. 2. 79 Duchess of Dohertj . Court _'380 Wiles of the Widow ..')8l The Mobswoman 28.fi; An Imaginary Aunt 238:> Lady Flora's Name- sake 2384 W hat Charity Covers 2386 Patty Packs a Bag YOLCME 160 2386 The Oak Settle 2387 Scaring Off of Teddy Dawson VOLUME 163 2431 Squire of the Night 2432 Cheerful Knave 2433 Clearly and Concisely 2434 King's Cup 2435 The Young Napoleon 2436 The Chance 2437 A Love Passage 2438 The Suffragette's Re- demption 2439 In the Library 2440 The Price of Fame 2441 Tubby and Gawks 2442 The Burglar and the Girl 2443 Fancy Dress 2444 My Lord from Town 2445 A Domestic Problem