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If solemn triuli is what you most desire, 
 
 Read throuorh this volume, and the same admire. 
 
 Here's folly too, if that you'd rather choose; 
 Read on and laugh, but don't the truth abnsrn 
 
WANDERING BOY, 
 CAREL.ESS SAIJLOR, 
 
 AND 
 
 RESUZ.T OF INCONSIDERATION. 
 
 A TRUE NARRATIVE. 
 
 BY HORACE LANE. 
 
 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child ; but the rod of 
 correction shall drive it far from him. Solomon. 
 
 And I have lov'd thee, ocean ! and my joy 
 
 Of youthful sports, was on thy breast to be 
 Borne, like thy bubbles, onward, from a boyj 
 \\i^6y Iwdkdksit were a child of thee. 
 ^ Byron, 
 
 
 J'" 
 
 SKANEATELES: # 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR BY LrJTHER A, PRATT. 
 
fijitered, according: to Act of Congress, in the year of our 
 Lord one thousand eight hundred and thirty-nine, by Horace 
 Lane, in the Clerk's Office of the Northern District oi the State 
 <)f New- York. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 -T3^Q^^ 
 
 The author is induced to oflfer this work 
 to the public, from an inipression that it 
 may serve as a beacon on a rock or shoal, 
 to give warning to his fellow-beings, espe- 
 cially careless youth, that they may duly 
 consider their course, and steer clear of 
 those quicksands which have caused him 
 so much trouble and distress, and in which 
 he should have sunk, had he not been res- 
 cued by an Almighty arm. Four objects 
 he has in view, viz. 1st, self-interest, as the 
 infirmity of his corporeal system will not 
 admit of agitation ; 2d, he wishes to show 
 (by example as well as precept) that there 
 is such a thing as internal, heart-felt re- 
 formation — the necessity of it, and how he 
 got it — yet feeling himself a fallible being ; 
 3d, to establish and appreciate the mercy 
 of God in his providence, as he has been 
 
TL 
 
 many times rescued from imminent dan- 
 ger ; 4th5 as he has written candidly and 
 sincerely, and nothing but what he can at- 
 test (as to veracity) in time or eternity, he 
 indulges the hope that this little book will 
 be extensively perused by the rising gene- 
 ration, and so entertain and instruct them, 
 as to excite a love for reading, nothwith- 
 standing they may here and there discover 
 some grammatical inaccuracies. 
 
 RORACE LANE 
 
THE WANDERING BOt. 
 
 Whore rose the mountains, there to him were friend?: ', 
 Where rolTd the ocean, thereoa was his home; 
 
 Where a blue sky and glowing clime extends, 
 He had the passion, and the power to roam. 
 
 Bykon, 
 
 I WAS born in Lanesbo rough, state of Massachu- 
 setts, in a fertile valley, among the green mountains. 
 Asa Lane, my father, was what may be termed a jour- 
 neyman farmer, who was eagerly looking ahead for 
 an opportunity to gain a foothold'; that is, to get pos- 
 session of a spot of ground, that would afford him that 
 benefit of his labour which he had to render to oihers. 
 He took my mother and me, (the luck}- first born, then 
 ♦'leven months old,) and moved to Stillwater, county of 
 Saratoga, on the west bank of the Hudson river, where 
 he commenced the rafting business, and^oon became a 
 pilot. But where there is good business, there are ge- 
 nerally bad allurements. My father was a sociable, 
 free-hearted man, never a day out of empiloyment : but 
 lack of discretion, in choosing his company, baffled all 
 his efforts to accumulate property : and I, his lucky 
 boy, was ill disposed to help him along. One evening, 
 he presented me with a little pocket knife which he 
 bad purchased for me : I thought then, surely I am a 
 
lucky boy. The next morning, I went to a clothier'^ 
 shop, near by, to sharpen my knife. As I was return- 
 ing home, I had to pass close by the bars where the 
 doth was stretched to dry ; and thinking it was a good 
 place to try my new knife, notwithstanding I knew it 
 was wrong, I cut several times across the cloth ; and 
 yet I was so stupid and inconsiderate, as to cut the two 
 Srst letters of my name m it before I left it. This was 
 unlucky for me, as I got detected and severely punish- 
 ed, and my father had to pay for the cloth. It would 
 lieve been well for me had this been the last dirty trick 
 I e^er was trapped in ; but alas ! it was the first, and 
 only a small one, as will appear in the sequel of my 
 narrative. This happened in the year 1795, when I 
 was about six years of age. 
 
 The next indiscreet caper I cut occurred shortly 
 after, and bears a somewhat different aspect from that 
 of the first. There was a militia muster about half a 
 mile from my father's residence; our neighborhood 
 was evacuated ; all had gone to see the fun ; I only 
 was by some means left at home. There came along a 
 man with a small cart, filled with cakes, to dispose of 
 at the training; the sight of the sweet cookies excited 
 such a desire as I could not at first find means to paci- 
 fy. I was not hungry, but there was a sensual craving 
 that impelled me to its gratification. All that the man 
 wanted for his cakes was chink,, and all that I wanted 
 was to know how to get some. Suddenly a prospect 
 made its appearance. There was a store directly 
 across the road, no one in it, the door locked, but the 
 window-shutters open, and to my no small joy there 
 was a light of glass broken out. Without hesitatioa, I 
 
9 
 
 entered the store through the sash, went to the cash de- 
 posit, and lifted eleven coppers (halfpence) then cur- 
 rent; there lay a silver dollar in the drawer, but an in- 
 stinct of nature told me not to take it, for fear of getting 
 detected. While I was in this act, I had a mixture of 
 feeling not easily described : if you could make a com- 
 pound of joy, fear, hope, and dread, and feel it within 
 you, you might be able to form some estimate of my 
 sensations. This was the seed-time of my life ; it was 
 laying the corner-stone of the foundation of my charac- 
 ter for years to come. Had I been detected in this act 
 by some sincere, faithful friend, who would have suita- 
 bly corrected, and reasonably reproved me, and made 
 me to understand the demerit and fatal consequences 
 pending over such violations of the law, it might have 
 been the means of saving me from many troubles by 
 which my maturer years were embittered. If I had 
 but known or considered that it was not the external 
 condition in which I might be placed, but the part I 
 should act, upon which my future happiness or misery, 
 honour or infamy, would depend; now that I was just 
 entering upon the stage of action, how requisite would 
 it have been for me to regulate my plan of conduct with 
 the most serious attention, before I had committed any 
 fatal or irretrievable error. ]f, instead of exercising 
 reflection for a valuable purpose, you deliver your- 
 selves up, at so critical a time, to disloyalty, for the sake 
 of pleasure, and humour yourself to attend to any pur- 
 suit for your own amusement; if you allow^ yourself 
 to float loose and careless on the young flood of the 
 tide of life, ready to receive any direction which the 
 current of passion may chance to give you; w^hat can 
 
10 
 
 j:^ou with any show of reason expect to follow fron^i 
 such beginnings? 
 
 My father was strictly moral in his observance of the 
 Sabbath, and I was constrained, much against my will, 
 to sit mute and hear him read the Bible, and the im- 
 pression it made on my mind was, that there is a mighty 
 <3rod in the heavens ; when I thought of him, my mind 
 Avas impressed with terror, and I had no one to tell me 
 how to love him: but these impressions were seldom, 
 and not lasting. In t'he month of April, 1795, my 
 mother, a!ftera short-illness, expired. 1 w^as as insensi- 
 ble of my lo^s as her Hfeless corpse. I was then in my 
 seventh year ; and though I feigned solemnity, I in- 
 wardly rejoiced, vainly thinking that the restriction to 
 my playful desires was removed. But ah ! sad mis- 
 take. There were some persons w^ho used to tell me 
 that I w^as like a young bear, that my trouble was to 
 come. 1 did not believe a word of it, for I always had 
 hopes of better times — never anticipated evil — ^viewed 
 only the fair ^ide of a prospect, that is, the side where 
 I could flatter myself with the enjoyment of happiness 
 or self-gratification — thought as little what bearmgs or 
 effects my actions had on my fellows-creatures, as the 
 trigger of a pistol in the hand of an assassin. 
 
 My father 'broke up housekeeping, which caused a 
 separation between his children, a brother and sister 
 both younger than myself It fell to my lot to be put 
 out to a sturdy, athletic, avaricious farmer and cobbler^ 
 from England. They had :no children, and the old 
 lady used me pretty fair ; but the old man kept me to 
 "the work, as if he employed me by the day in Decem- 
 ber, and gave me gr^^at wages. My father was iufeimed 
 
11 
 
 ot his severit\% and took me from him, which I have 
 regretted ever since; for I was contented there, but 
 from that time I have constantly had a wandering de- 
 sire. I was next placed with doctor Smith, who kept 
 a country store, with some drugs in one corner of it ; 
 where I was permitted to stay alone sometimes, while 
 Mr. Smith went to his meals ; but I do not know that 
 he ever missed any thing, though 1 was always well 
 stored with raisins, sugar, cinnamon, or something 
 suitable to my taste and desire. Here I had a fair 
 chance for the improvement of my abilities, as Mr. 
 Smith had agreed with my father to send me to school 
 till I was sixteen, and then place me as clerk in the 
 store. But fate had marked for me a different course, 
 There lived at Mr. Smith's a yellow^ girl, about six- 
 teen, who did the house work — a mean strumpet, as sly 
 as a rat. She was constantly stuffing me with syco- 
 phantic nonsense about the great cities, fine ships, gay 
 flags, and melodious music ; and there Vv'as another 
 family of young folks, that had recently moved from 
 New"- York, to whom I listened with open mouth, eyes 
 and ears, while they were describing the beauties of 
 the cities. All I wanted was wings, and knowledge 
 and power to use them. 
 
 VVhen I was about eigbt years and a half old, I took 
 a start one morning, and long before night I was de- 
 lighting myself on board of a sioop that lay at the wharf 
 at what is now called West Troy, a distance of eighteen 
 miles from home. But I was closely pursued by my 
 father, who conveyed me back to Stiflwater. As doc- 
 tor Smith had got sick of me by this time, I had the 
 good fortune to be bound out to Mr. Moody, a clothierj 
 
^2 
 
 a good' place, and clever folks; but the greatest difR- 
 culty with them and the pedagogue, was to keep me in 
 school, although they knew well enough where to find 
 me, as my delight was to be on or in the water. I was 
 often routed from among the willows on the edge of the 
 river, or from the mill-pond^ where I exerted my skill 
 m navigating slabs or sticks of timber (as my ships) 
 about the pond ; and I frequently puzzled the larger 
 scholars who were sent after me, to catch me, as I 
 would get into the middle of the pond and laugh at 
 them. I once in a white got a whipping, but all could 
 not save me. One afternoon, as I was rambling along 
 the bank of the river, through a pleasant grove of young 
 hickories that grew by the side of the mill-pond, I lit 
 into. a skiff, that was fastened to a tree. Regardless of 
 consequences, I cast off the rope that held her, and be- 
 gan to exert myself in rocking her, by running from 
 side to side ; but soon found something else to attract 
 my attention. Some persons, perceiving my danger- 
 ous situation, had collected on the bank ; one of them 
 called to me to. get my oars out, and row to the shore. 
 '* You are going over the dam!" said they. Till then, 
 I had paid no attention to which way the skiff was 
 driving. When I raised my head, I found myself with- 
 in about ten rods of the dam, swiftly approximating it, 
 aiid the rapidity of the current increasing. I took hold 
 of the oars, (not in the least confused,) made an effort 
 to use them, but I lacked skill, laid them in the skiff 
 again^ and let her take her own course ; she pitched 
 o.ver the dam, where the fall was about six or eight 
 feet, and took in about a barrel of water. But this was 
 not the wo^rst of that voyage ; I had yet the falls to ga 
 
1T5 
 
 over, and away she went whirling through the foam 
 ing fluid, to the right about one rock, and to the left 
 about another ; sometimes the people that stood on the 
 shore could not see me, as I was covered with the 
 spray. When I got below the falls, I took my oars 
 out, and row^d to the shore like an old hand at it. This 
 is a big story for a lad eight years and a half old. The 
 neighbors said I was a lucky boy, but that they would 
 not have been with me in the skiff for a heap of money. 
 They said, they guessed I'd make a good sailor. 
 
 Mr. Moody had a brother that had been off soldier- 
 ing ; he was a drummer, and brought his music home 
 with him; and he heaped on a pile more of illustrious 
 stories to what I had already heard. One morning, 
 after turning the cow to pasture, I steered along down 
 the river, under the bank, to keep out of sight, till I 
 got some distance, then made all sail, and before night 
 I was in Troy. I soon engaged at play w^ith the boys, 
 as unconcerned as if I had been a nobleman's son, and 
 before my father's door ; neither had I a thought of my 
 situation, till I was covered only by the sable curtain 
 of night. My playmates had retired to their homes, 
 and I was left, penniless, friendless, and almost sense- 
 less, alone in the; street. But my consternation was 
 suddenly aroused by the ringing of the church bell for 
 nine o'clock. There stood several gentlemen talking 
 near the open door of a store. I stepped up to them, 
 and inquired what they were ringing that big bell for ? 
 for I had never previously heard a bell larger than the 
 oae that hung on the old cow's neck. As every spirit 
 begets its own likeness, so my question excited the in- 
 quisitive powers of the gentlemen ; they gazed intense- 
 
u 
 
 ly at me, and que of them asked me where I came from. 
 It is hot likely I told him the truth, but he took me to 
 his home, fed me, and put me to bed.. Next morning, 
 after breakfast, he took me with him on board a sloop 
 he was loading with lumber for the New^-York market. 
 This w^as touching the very string that pleased my 
 fancy: I was full of glee, nor did I for a moment think 
 of disappointment. 
 
 i had no rule, a silly fool, 
 
 Blind fancy was my guide ; 
 No thought nor care how I should far^j 
 
 On time's swift fleeting tide. 
 
 My father, ever watchful, had got track of me. I 
 saw him approaching, and made an effort to secrete my« 
 ^If, but he found me, and I was forced to return wath 
 him to Stillwater. It was but a short time after this 
 that I took my departure again, and was so fortunate 
 as to fall in with an old man at Troy, w^ho took me with 
 him on board a sloop to New- York. What he wanted 
 of me I never found out ; I was of no use to him or 
 any one else, unless it w^as to employ them in keeping 
 me out of mischief. One job I gave the old man, by 
 clearing out from the sloop, getting on board of a ship 
 half a mile off, and keeping him hunting about till he 
 found me and brought me back. On our return to 
 Troy, a country merchant, a passenger, took a fancy to ^ 
 me, and carried me wath him to Hoosack, where I was 
 well treated, placed in rank with his children, and was 
 quite pleased for a while ; but my wandering propen- 
 sities soon returned ; I considered my situation too dull 
 and longed for the gayety of the city, and the shipping, 
 which principally engaged my attention. 
 
1.) 
 
 Ships, dium,^, and fifes, were all my life,' 
 
 Gay Hags, and sails unfmi'd ; 
 1 thought 't would be my highest glee 
 
 To view some distant world, 
 
 1 left Hoosack, and shaped my course for Troy, 
 where I got a good situation with a gentleman and lady 
 who had no children ; they treated me as if I had been 
 their son, and I was contented for a fortnight, when I 
 again made sail, got on board of a schooner, and arrived 
 at New- York, where as I was soliciting the captain of 
 a fine ship to take me with him to sea, a merchant from 
 New Lebanon persuaded me to go home with him, as 
 the captain refused to take me, his objection being that 
 I was too small. The merchant paid my passage to 
 Kinderhook, and I went home with him, where, to pay 
 him for his trouble and expense, I staid three weeks. 
 Leaving Lebanon, I steered to the eastward, through 
 bitter and boisterous storms, over the Pittsfield moun- 
 tains, and what was my object I knew not. At every 
 house where I stopped, the inhabitants pitied me, w4iich 
 I was at a loss to account for, as I considered myself 
 well enough off, and felt as independent as a nobleman. 
 Some tried to entice me tt) stay with them, but I had 
 not yet got to the place that suited my notion. I strayed 
 along through Pittsfield, and when the sun was setting, 
 I stopped at a house in Partridge field. Here was a 
 boy about my age, one that I delighted in as a play- 
 mate ; and the boy's father took a liking to me, gave- 
 me some good clothes, a ne\v pair of boots, and sent me 
 to school whh his son ; but all these favours could not 
 induce me to stay longer than a fortnight,, when I again 
 cleared, and laid my course for the Hudson river. 
 
16 
 
 The son of fancy ne'er the truth explores, 
 But in excursions ludicrous he soars ; 
 He feels no pain nor pleasure but his own. 
 Intent to gratify himself alone. 
 
 I had straggled along from house to house, a distance 
 of 40 miles, always pitied and assisted ; when I was at 
 length accepted and kindly treated by the family and 
 slaves of a rich old Dutch widow, whose farm and de- 
 lightful situation is on the west bank of the Hudson 
 river, four miles north of Hudson. I can now reflect 
 back and perceive that where the greatest kindness has 
 been shown to me, I have been most ready to conceive 
 myself slighted, and take the mifFfor the most frivolous 
 cause, or supposed cause. So it was at the widow^s, 
 where I was treated as one of the family, which made 
 me too forward, so that I would not bear the milde&t 
 check. Here I remained for three or four weeks, till 
 the ice broke up in the river, when I made sail, and 
 steered for Catskill ; here I got on board of a sloop, and 
 to effect my design of getting to New- York, told them 
 ihat my friends resided at Nantucket. When we ar- 
 rived at New- York, the passengers and crew were all 
 anxious that I should get a passage home to Nantucket, 
 a place that then I had never seen. I next spent about 
 one month between New-York and Albany, during 
 which time I had many situations, either on board of 
 vessels or on shore ; at some of them I staid one day, 
 while others could keep me no longer than to give me 
 one meal of victuals. I fell in with a raft of timber 
 floating down the river, and it appeared pleasant to me 
 to see their little shantee and household furniture, and 
 they allowed me to stay with them three or four days. 
 
17 
 
 At Poug-hkeepsie, I f^ot on board of a new sloop, a 
 bully sailor, called the Ann Maria, and left her as soon 
 as she struck the wharf at New- York. 
 
 The next place I found myself was on board of the 
 South Amboy stage-boat. This situation suited me 
 well, as I had frequent allernr.te views of the city, the 
 shipping-, and the ocean. One day, as we were beating 
 through the narrows against a fresh south breeze, it 
 was my station (cook like) to tend the foresheet ; this 
 duty demanded little strength, but alertness, as the fore- 
 sail had to be shifted when the sloop was head to the 
 wind, while the sail is shivering. One of the gentle- 
 men passengers was watching my motions, unobserved 
 by me ; I improved every moment — when not at work, 
 I was at play. When we got below the bluff of Sta- 
 ten Island, as our course was nearly west, we made a 
 fair wind of it, w^hich left me at leisure. The gentle- 
 man above mentioned asked me to hand him a glass of 
 water, which request was immediately complied with, 
 and he put a 25 cent piece into my hand; I thanked 
 him, but thought it something remarkable. When we 
 arrived at Amboy, he handed me a fowling-piece and 
 a cloak, desiring me to take them to the stage-house ; 
 this being done,, he met me a short distance from the 
 house, and commenced telling me that his name was 
 Billetts, that he lived in Scotland, had a ship and cargo 
 in New- York, and was going to take a tour through 
 the states ; " and if you will (continued he) go with me 
 and stay with me, you shall be brought up like a gen- 
 tleman, as I have no child, and you shall be my heir." 
 This language seemed to suit my inclination, so my 
 consent was given without hesitation. He told me to 
 2 
 
18 
 
 Walk slowly along the road, and when the stage ovei-' 
 took me, he bade the driver stop the horses, and took 
 me in. Now I looked upon myself as indeed a lucky 
 boy, being exaked to sit among gentlemen, and drawn 
 by four horses. Mr. Billetts suffered me to want for 
 rrothing, and the next day we arrived at Philadelphia, 
 where he put me to board with one of his countrymen, 
 an old acquaintance, who kept a store near the new 
 market ; and requested me to call upon him every day 
 at ten o'clock at his lodgings, room No. 15, up two pair 
 of stairs, in a grand hotel, I forget what street. He 
 bought me fine clothes, and gave me money every day, 
 for about a month ;= when he told me he was going 
 farther south, and asked me whether I had rather stay 
 in Philadelphia, or go to New-York. For no other 
 purpose than to satisfy my uneasy, wandering disposi- 
 tion, my preference was given to New- York. 
 
 He wrote a letter to the man of the family where he 
 wished me to stay, its address telling me where to go, 
 and gave me money to pay my fare. Upon my arrival 
 at New- York, a notion suddenly struck me ; I tore the 
 letter up, hove the fragments into the dock, and went 
 to searching among the sloops for a situation. Failing 
 in this, my next amusement was playing with the boys 
 in the Fly market, till a late hour in the evening found 
 me alone, friendless and without money. After a short 
 consultation in my mind what was best to be done, my 
 steps were directed on board of a schooner that lay at 
 the wharf; I opened the fore-scuttle, and rolling myself 
 in an old sail, fell asleep; onav/akingin the morning, 
 I discovered that they had cast off, made sail, and were 
 near Hurlgate, bound for Connecticut. The captaii?^ 
 
19 
 
 was somewhat alarmed, thinking he was taking some 
 gentleman's son from the city; but a short conversa* 
 tion with me copdnced him that he had committed no 
 criminal act. This gentleman also made me fair pro- 
 mises, and treated me kindly, requesting me to stay 
 with him ; but the restlessness of my mind induced me 
 to shift my situation the first opportunity, and get on 
 board of a sloop, in which, after stemming the freshet 
 in the river several days, we arrived at Hartford. I 
 rambled about the city a few hours, admiring every- 
 thing that was new to me ; this was in the month of 
 May, 1799. Casting a look across the river, a charm- 
 ing vernal prospect struck my view ; and without he- 
 sitation, or having any definite object, a short time 
 found me on the opposite side ; and a delightful coun- 
 try it truly is. After straying along a couple of miles, 
 I fell in with a rich farmer's dwelling, and as it was 
 after sunset, was kindly received ; after answering a 
 good many questions from the old gentleman and others 
 of the family, in which the old lady took no inconsi- 
 derable part, an invitation was made me to stop and 
 make my home with them. This was a good place, 
 and it might have been well for me to accept the offer ; 
 but there came along a young man in quest of work, 
 whom the old gentleman hired, and he told such a great 
 story about a fine large new ship just launched and 
 fitting out at Middletown, where they wanted two hun- 
 dred men and boys, that my wandering ideas were 
 again excited ; the thought of getting among such a 
 jolly group fixed my determination ; and falling in 
 with a vineyard boat at Hartford, in two hours I was 
 safe onboard of the U. S. ship Connecticut. 
 
20 
 
 This step furnished me with a different method of 
 wandering-, for though compelled to stay on board, my 
 roving was extensive. By the mismanagement of the 
 officers, the ship was capsized, and filled with water, 
 before we left Middletown, and all hands were busily 
 employed in getting her upright, and free from water 
 again. This accident put me out of conceit of the ship, 
 so much so that I told the officers I w^ould not go to 
 sea in her ; "for," said I, " if she capsizes here in a mill- 
 pond, what will you do with her on the ocean ?" This 
 remark caused some sport for the officers, on account 
 of my youth, being then only ten years of age ; had a 
 man made it, it would have attracted less notice. Not- 
 withstanding my thoughts were bent on getting away, 
 I was compelled to stay on board, while they got the 
 ship to New-London, where they took in ballast, stores, 
 provisions, arms, and ammunition ; recruited sailors, 
 completed the crew, got sailing orders, up with the 
 anchors, spread the sails, and steered our course for 
 the West Indies. As it was after dark before we got 
 clear of the land, I felt no sea sickness before turning 
 out of my hammock in the morning. Finding myself 
 on a lively foundation, I was glad to cling to one of the 
 cannon to prevent my falling, and gazed out of the port- 
 hole. The breeze blew fresh ; nothing was to be seen 
 but the clear sky, with here and there a drifting cloud, 
 and the foaming billows following each other in mar- 
 tial array and quick succession, flourishing their curly 
 pates and dashing them against the ship, as if to say, 
 ' What do ye on my premises V ' Sure enough,' thought 
 I, * what do I here ? O that I were on dry land in my 
 native Stillwater,' But something else soon occupied 
 
21 
 
 my mind ; it was a slap alongside of my head from an 
 officer, who, with an imprecation, ordered me to go 
 below and help to get the officers' breakfast ready. 
 *' Breakfast," thought I; "if they felt like me, they'd 
 not care much about breakfast." Down I went into the 
 ward-room, where an officer handed me a pile of earth- 
 en dishes, telling me to go on deck, and wash them ; 
 
 adding, '' and d you, see that you fall and break 
 
 them all," (meaning that I should not break them.) 
 Up I started, got half way to the galley, (the place 
 where the cooking is done,) the ship gave an extra 
 lurch, and pitched me into the lee scuppers, dishes and 
 all, breaking about two-thirds of them. Having ga- 
 thered up the whole ones, cleaned them, and returned 
 with them to the ward-room, the officer that handed 
 them to me, perceiving that I had met with a misfor- 
 tune, exclaimed, " You d — d young son of a b — h, I 
 told you to mind and break them all ; now I'll flog you 
 for not obeying me." Another officer who was present 
 interceded for me, saying, " I think the boy has done 
 d — 'i well; if you always get obeyed as well as that, 
 you need not grumble." This got me clear of the 
 drubbing — the lucky boy yet. 
 
 A few nights after w^e left the land, we were visited 
 with a short but stiff gale; it came on us sudden and 
 unexpected ; there was great bustle and confusion, 
 taking in and reefing sails; with vociferous bawling 
 from the officers, and dolorous mourning among the 
 green hands. To me, lying strung up in my hammock, 
 under the spar-deck, it was terrific to hear the wind 
 whistle through the masts and rigging, the waves 
 dashing, the water swashing over and under and all 
 
22 
 
 around me, the ship heaving and tumbling as if she 
 would strain herself asunder, or turn keel up. So it 
 appears to the novice, but it is nothing to them that are 
 used to it. After every thing was got snug, and the 
 bustle a little abated, I heard an officer say, " She rides 
 like a duck." These words greatly revived my fear- 
 ful spirit, and are always fresh to my recollection ; for 
 I was crouched all in a heap in my hammock, and 
 durst not take a long breath, for fear it would be my 
 last one. The next visible object to harass my mind, 
 and excite my fear, was a strange ship in sight ; and as 
 we approached her, the cry rang through our ship, 
 *• She is a Frenchman." All hands were summoned 
 to quarters; it was clear away the guns — huzza, boys, 
 blood for breakfast; there were rammers, sponges, 
 wads and shot ; round, grape, double-headed, canister, 
 and langrage; and Pilgarlic (I shall occasionally as- 
 sume this title, to avoid the monotonous sound of the 
 first person singular,) had to appear as brave as the 
 rest, with cartridge-box slung about my neck; but my 
 inclination was to keep at a distance from the French- 
 man, as she was supposed to be. As our ship was a 
 remarkably fast sailer, we soon got within hail, and to 
 my no small joy, she proved to be an English merchant 
 ship. 
 
 We steered on for the windward West India station, 
 till we were in latitude 23 J north, when father Nep- 
 tune made his horrible appearance. He said he was 
 determined to have the youngest boy in the ship, and 
 Pilgarlic thought he was a gone chicken ; but I got 
 clear by having my face lathered with tar and hen 
 manure, and scraped with an iron hoop ; it took m^ 
 
three hours to clean myself, and thought myself lucky 
 at that. Our ship soon became a terror to the French 
 privateersmen, as she was a swift sailer ; it was anima- 
 ting- to see her run ] just give her a breeze so that the 
 topmasts would bend a litile, she w^ould lay over so that 
 the lee guns would titter along on the top of the water ; 
 then if a French vessel wa-s ahead, he was a gone era- 
 poo. We w€r€ cruising about the island of Deseada, 
 and espied a sail one night, gave chase to her, and in 
 less than an hour gave her a shot to bring her to ; she 
 proved to be a French privateer brig of 18 guns, and 
 160 men ; we ran alongside of her, and she gave Vis 
 battle. We gave her a broadside. I delivered my 
 cartridge to the charger of the gun I belonged to, and 
 started t-e the after hatch, Avhere the powder was hand- 
 ed Hp, for atiotlier; they were not quite in readiness in 
 the cai1;ridge-room, and Pilgarlie, with other powder 
 boys, had to stand for a few moments idle. These 
 were doleful moments for me^* the flashes of fire-arms 
 in the night make a terrific illumination to an idle by- 
 stander; my -thoughts were, "Alas, alas! we are ail 
 dead men ! why don't our captain surrender ?" But 
 «one of the men from the gun I belonged to soon put a 
 stop to these sensations by a slap alongside of my head, 
 adding, *' Why don't you bring powder, you young 
 «on of a b— -h T^ I w^as busy enough, and entirely 
 destitute of fear during the remainder of the action, 
 which was of short duration, wlien at length the joyful 
 sound rang through our ship, " We have got another 
 fine prize." But it was not Pilgarlic's fault. The 
 Bible tells us not to love in word and in tongue, but 
 ifcat's the only way I ever could fight; bold enovigfe 
 
24 
 
 when on shore in a grog-shop, or where there was no 
 danger. Several were killed on board of the French 
 brigv although not one of our men was hurt; and it is 
 true and worthy of notice, that in the many skirmishes 
 we had during the twelve months that we cruised in 
 the West Indies, never a shot struck our ship, nor was 
 there a man killed or wounded — and we chased vessels 
 so close to the forts and batteries on Guadaloupe and 
 other French islands, that their cannon balls flew all 
 around us, and struck so close that the water flew over 
 the ship's sides upon the deck. This might be termed 
 being lucky boys. But my mind was often vexed and 
 agitated, as we frequently sailed so near the islands that 
 I could (like Moses of old) behold the delightfully 
 chequered scenes of hill and vale, without being able 
 to get there ; thousands of birds flying where they 
 pleased, and why was I not formed and supplied with 
 wings ? 
 
 Alas ! I thought myself a poor unlucky boy, 
 Doom'd thus to view, but nothing to enjoy* 
 The body bound, the spirit must obey, 
 And all that's life in bondage to the clay : 
 To be confin'd for twelve long months or more^ 
 Afloat on wood, and never feel the shore. 
 Reviving hope sustained me everyday,. 
 This hope was for a chance to get away. 
 
 One day, as we lay at anchor at St. Christopher's, I 
 asked the captain to let me go on shore, which he re- 
 fused, his objection being that he was afraid of my get- 
 ting into bad compan}^ He was truly my friend — one 
 of the finest men, as to morals,, that ever crossed the 
 
25 
 
 ocean ; his name was Moses Tryon ; his dwelling was 
 in Weathersfield, Connecticut. Often when the ship 
 was riding majestically through the waves, he would 
 call me to him, tell me how to behave myself in order 
 to become a noble character, and point out to me, in 
 the most pellucid colors that language could exhibit, 
 the fatal consequences of vain habits ; adding, *' What 
 a fine thing it would be for you to have command of 
 such a ship as this when you become a man !" This 
 language to me w^as as vanity and folly ; and I told 
 him that was impossible, for my father was a poor man ; 
 thinking that none but the wealthy could be promoted. 
 He endeavoured to convince me of my mistake, but all 
 his efforts to save me w^ere useless and lost. We took 
 four French privateers, retook seventeen merchantmen, 
 chased one on shore and set fire to her, by which she 
 was consumed ; we chased several others on shore near 
 the French batteries, and w^ere compelled to leave them, 
 as their cannon balls were to be avoided. 
 
 When commodore Truxton arrived at St. Christo- 
 pher's, (in the President, a bran splinter new ship,) 
 our captain made application to him to let our ship re- 
 turn to the States ; but he told him to go and cruise for 
 a month under the lee of Guadaloupe, and try to catch 
 a French sloop of w'ar, that was expected shortly to 
 sail from under the cover of the cannon on their foi'ts. 
 We proceeded according to orders, but without sue-, 
 cess ; as the Frenchman thought himself safer lying 
 at anchor near the batteries than out at sea. She sailed 
 ten days after our cruise was up, in company with a 
 fleet of privateers; if we had staid till then, w^e could 
 have tried the force of speed, or death or imprisonment 
 
26 
 
 but we were the lucky boys. She had 24 cannon, 
 much heavier than ours, though we had 26, and had 
 double the number of men that we had. She was cap- 
 tured by the American frigate Boston, capt. McNeil, 
 shortly after. Great joy was experienced when the 
 tidings rang through the ship, *' We are going home, 
 we are going home!" every thing went on with ala- 
 crity, and cheerfulness beamed in every countenance. 
 We had to take a round to several islands, to gather 
 the merchant vessels that w^ere in readiness and home- 
 ward bound, some of which had been waiting for some 
 time, but did not dare to venture out, for fear of getting 
 nabbed by the French privateers. We collected about 
 50 sail of merchant vessels, shaped our course for the 
 States, had a pleasant passage till we got near the coast 
 of Long Island, where we had a short severe gale, like 
 the one we encountered about the time we left those 
 waters ; but with little or no damage we sailed in, and 
 came to anchor at New-London. Our ship, that had 
 for sixteen months been a constant scene of bustle, and 
 some of the time confusion, suddenly became as silent 
 as an evacuated bee-hive:; each one sought for the first 
 opportunity to get on shore, and Pilgarlic was not the 
 hindmost; the taverns, grog-shops, boarding-houses, 
 and brothels, were all in readiness to receive them. 
 
 There was gingling of glasses, the music did play, 
 The landladies' daughters weredress'd fine and gay, 
 ^Twas all to entice sailors' money away; 
 Ten dollars scarce lasted one night and next day. 
 So ho ! sailors, jolly bold fellows, learn to be sober 
 a^d wise. 
 
27 
 
 Pilgarlic, with the rest of the boys, went to a board- 
 ing-house, where each one of us was not backward in 
 exhibiting our bravado, as w^e could boast as much as 
 all hands besides ; and, monkey like, all that we had 
 heard or seen practised by the sailors, we thought it 
 becoming in us to say and do. A number of the young 
 sailors hired horses, and some of them carriages, took 
 each his fancy girl with him, to ride out and recreate 
 at a tavern about three miles in the country. Pilgar- 
 lic thought these were brave actions. I went to capt. 
 Tryon, with a face as long as a mule, and told him I 
 wanted some money to pay the tailor for some clothes, 
 when he, without any suspicion of intrigue, gave me 
 six dollars ; but the tailor might sing Robin Hood's 
 song. I hired a couple of horses, one for myself and 
 another for a fancy playmate, a sailor boy; when we 
 mounted and rode off into the country, as stout as ever 
 Napoleon could. We stopped at a tavern, where I 
 called for dinner and some milk punch. Although I 
 had as yet drank very little liquor, the sweetness of the 
 punch induced me to take down so much that my con- 
 sort was forced to leave me, being obligated to return 
 the horses that night. How great was my surprise, on 
 awaking next morning in a strange room ! Shortly 
 after breakfast, my comrade came riding along with 
 the two horses, and w'e returned to New-London. 
 
 When captain Tryon heard of my vain, foolish ca- 
 reer, he sent for me, and took me to board at a decent 
 place, where he himself and some of our officers 
 boarded Here again Pilgarlic was at home — the 
 lucky boy — for they had a daughter about my age, 
 with whom I became very intimate, wTnt to dancing- 
 
28 
 
 school with her, and sleigh-riding with her and her 
 elder brother ; and we had such a fair understanding, 
 that we were only separated while it was bed time. 
 If there was mischief done, and any person said it was 
 Pilgarlic, she would not believe them, though it was 
 frequently true. Captain Tryon endeavoured to per- 
 suade me to go home with him, and go to school with 
 his children. I had a sensation of mind telling me it 
 would be for the best to comply with his invitation ; 
 but an opposite, stronger desire impelled me to be a 
 sailor, to wander, not contemplating for what, 
 
 ** Reason in common life is man's best guide, 
 His dearest friend when galling ills betide ] 
 Reason views objects as they truly are, 
 And will rich ways and means of grace prepare ; 
 But heated fancy, toss'd by hectic fits, 
 Upon an airy throne unsteady sits. 
 While fancy revels in ideal state, 
 Sage reason labours to be truly great. 
 Gay fancy pictures her Elysium here, 
 But reason seeks a more exalted sphere." 
 
 THE AUTHOR, AT TWELVE YEARS OF AGE, ON 
 BOARD A BRITISH MAN-OF-WAR. 
 
 " I know what the world is, how vain its delights, 
 
 How transient and fading its joys: 
 Its banquets are poisoned; the smile that invites, 
 
 Allures to the gulf that destroys." 
 
 After taking a twelve months' cruise on board the 
 United States ship Connecticut, among the West India 
 
29 
 
 Islands, about the year 1799; I thought myself a sail- 
 or. Full of business, and hard at it; no more to do 
 than a puppy, and about as careless and stupid ; the 
 good counsel of my late captain and his officers, ^Yho 
 had observed the alertness of my motions, and the in- 
 stability of my mind, was rejected by me. They knew 
 that the only thing wanting to make a man of me 
 was a guide. 
 
 I thought 1 knew as much as they, 
 And gave my mind to constant play ; 
 I thought it brave to join the throng, 
 And hear the drunken sailor's song. 
 
 But soon my little stock of cash was expended; the 
 last cent was quite out of my reach ; and the people of 
 the house who boarded me, w^ere no longer my friends; 
 so there w^as nothing for me to do, but to range the 
 streets by day, and sleep where there was a chance of* 
 fered at night. But the company with whom it was 
 my lot to associate, gave me instructions how to get a 
 little change occasionally ; and thoug h the plan appear- 
 ed to me rather disgraceful, yet the strong and ardent 
 desire possessed by me for the pleasure that a few shil- 
 lings would purchase, induced me to commence their 
 practice; which was, hunting for old iron; and we 
 could easily dispose of it: but as old iron became scarce, 
 and it was, no iron, no money, we accidentally picked 
 up a new iron bolt; and, if a copper one lay in the 
 way, it w^ould stick to our fingers. As it was my cus- 
 tom to do business with all my might, they seldom 
 found me behind hand; so it was in this case; my col- 
 leagues found me ahead of them; which was, of course, 
 
30 
 
 noticed by those who, it was my intention, should 
 know nothing about it. The mate of a new ship nab- 
 bed me, while on my way to the shoie, with my shirt 
 bosom full of iron bolts ; he took me down into the 
 ship's hold, gave me a severe flogging, and shut me up 
 there all night. So much for getting into bad compa- 
 ny. Never was my heart hardened in any of my vile 
 acts. My inclination was bad, it is true; but habit and 
 necessity were my chief inducements; and every time 
 conscience waked up, he reproved me; but he was 
 such a sleepy head that he could not be kept awake ; 
 for self-gratification was my master, and would seldom 
 let me disturb him ; and Mr. Conscience, when he was 
 awake, could not see clearly half of the time ; for he 
 was blinded by sympathy and generosity, and made 
 me think I was doing well enough. Said he, " You 
 feel for your fellows, and are willing to help them if 
 you can, when they need it." One rainy day, as I 
 strolled along the wharves, a schooner, laden with cat- 
 tle, and ready for sea, attracted my notice ; w^hich in- 
 duced me to go on board of her, and descend into the 
 steerage, where the sailors were at dinner. They ap- 
 peared to be very comfortably situated, and I longed 
 to add one to their number ; and began an innocent 
 discourse with them. A partition, with an open door, 
 was all that separated the cabin from the steerage. — 
 The captain and mate heard and took notice of what 
 I said, and I was accepted as cabin boy. We put to 
 sea with a stiff north-wester, the next morning ; and 
 the land, to us, was soon invisible ; the wind increased, 
 and of course the billows, as we lengthened our dis- 
 tance from shore. The vessel was half the time com- 
 
3i 
 
 pletely under water. Some of the cattle were drowned, 
 and the rest were bellowing- when they could get 
 breath. The crew were pale and horror-struck ; and 
 I was very sea-sick; the comfortable prospect that pre- 
 sented itself but the day before, was vastly and sadly 
 reversed. I would have given all the world to have 
 been in some farmer's stable. The captain befriended 
 me, and even took me into his berth to sleep with him. 
 His name was Bernham, of Norwich, Connecticut. 
 We scud the little schooner before the wind and sea ; 
 that is, the v;aves ; and she run like a grampus, for a 
 few days ; w^hen w^e got into fine weather, and the re- 
 mainder of our passage was pleasant. 
 
 When we arrived at the island of St. Vincent, I was 
 indulged by the captain with liberty to go on shore as 
 often as I pleased ; and t visited sugar and rum planta- 
 tions, w^here the poor slaves w^ould gather around me, 
 to see the pickajiene buckarah; that is, the little white 
 boy. The old negroes would kiss their hands, (a hea= 
 then form of , worship,) and beg for a trifle to buy to- 
 bacco. Their humble actions so impressed me with a 
 sense of their suffering and depraved condition, that I 
 frequently took provisions from on board the vessel 
 that I belonged to, and disposed of it, to get a little 
 change to share out among them. I took the small 
 boat, one morning, and went alongside of a droger ; 
 that is, a vessel for conveying produce around the 
 island, to g^t some fire. The captain of the droger 
 asked me some questions — hov/ I liked the vessel I 
 belonged to, w^hat wages I had, &c. I replied that my 
 situation was comfortable, and my w^ages four dollars 
 per month. " What/' said he, ** such a boy as you are 
 
32 
 
 get ouly four dollars a month ? I want a boy, and 
 would give you seven. '^ I told him I wanted to go 
 home and go to school '* ril let you go to school half 
 of the time/' said he; ^* I only want you to stay on 
 hoard while I am on shore, and take care of things." 
 This prospect was favourable in my estimation, and af- 
 ter breakfast I told captain Bernham that I wanted to 
 leave him. Ho feelingly advised me for my own be- 
 nefit to stay, but my unbending will refused to comply, 
 and I foolishly left what little clothes I had, (excepting 
 those I had on,) and went on board of the droger* 
 One little incident that happened to me on board the 
 last vessel, I must relate. 1 had got into a ridiculous 
 habit of inconsiderate, profane swearing ; we had a 
 steady going old man on board, who often reproved 
 me, and I as often acknowledged my fault, and pro- 
 mised to break myself of the bad habit. One day, as 
 the old man had occasion to put me in mind of my fre- 
 quent prom ses, I proposed a plan whereby his warn- 
 ings might prove to me more lasting. The plan Was, 
 that the first time he heard me swear, he should take 
 a rope's end, and strike me as severely as he had a mind 
 to do. He readily agreed to my proposal, and said he 
 should promptly fulfil it. '^ Agreed," said I. The 
 next morning, my foolish passion was excited in kin- 
 dling the fire in the caboose, and 1 began to rave and 
 curse wood, fire, smoke, and any thing that came in 
 iny mind ; but ere I was aware, I received a lick across 
 my back that made me smart sorely, but increased my 
 passion. I swore still harder, and the old man struck 
 harder ; and as I repeated oaths, he repeated blows. 
 Although I held out for some time, I was at length 
 
33 
 
 constralQed, much against my will, to do it, and 1 
 complained that he had hurt me very much. *' None 
 too much ;'* said the old man ; '* it was your own bar- 
 gain, and I hope you'll keep the profits.'' My situation 
 on board the droger was vastly different from what the 
 captain had represented; he was a hard case— an old 
 drinking sailor, of little learning, and less sense, as re- 
 gards humanity. He could swear as roundly as any 
 thing in human shape; and, with horrid imprecations, 
 he would often say to me, *' You want to go to school, 
 
 do you, you d d yankee son of a b — h ?" and so 
 
 he continued to tantalize me. He gave me many 
 severe floggings, for trifling, frivolous, innocent ges- 
 tures, or omissions of duty ; sometimes he would stay 
 at home, while we made a trip ; which, in a measure, 
 alleviated for the time, my condition. But, there were 
 other difficulties, almost as bad, to be borne with. As all 
 on board were blacks, and slaves, their allowance of 
 provisions was scanty, and mine was among theirs : 
 and as some of those blacks had wives on shore, with 
 whom they w^ished to share their rations, there was con- 
 stant contention among them, and 1 had to sit mute, 
 and take what they chose to give me ; I could frequent- 
 ly sing Robinhood's song; *' Little comes to my 
 share.'' No friend was near, in w^hose ear I could 
 breathe with confidence my complaints, who would in 
 any degree sympathize with, or feel for me. So much 
 for inconsideration. 
 
 A servant of a servile slave, 
 
 Who would my situation crave? 
 
 A child of folly doom'd to be 
 
 By folly punish'd constantly. 
 
u 
 
 After staying on board the droger about six weeks^ 
 I got on shore one night, and made tracks to a small 
 port called Kelaquaw, a distance of six miles. At that 
 place I got on board of a large British West-Indiaman, 
 called the Eclipse. Some of the sailors of that ship*s 
 company were so ignorant, and so inveterate against 
 the Yankees, that always when half drunk, they would 
 display their valour in taking vengeance on me ; and I 
 got many a thump, attended by the imprecation d — d 
 Yankee, and frequently had to secrete myself, while, 
 with oaths that designated the spirit of fiends, they'd 
 rave through the ship in search of me. I soon em- 
 braced an opportunity that presented itself, while I was 
 on shore helping to fill water casks, hid myself in a 
 cane field till night, then steered my course for King- 
 ston, where I had left the droger. The schooner in 
 which I came from America had long been gone on her 
 return home, and there was no American vessel in the 
 port. All the clothes I had were a check shirt and a 
 pair of Russia duck trowsers, which I had on, (and it 
 would have been r job for a washerwoman with a pound 
 of soap tofind out their original colour,) no hat or shoes. 
 In this predicament I traced the streets and about the 
 market, exposed to the scorching sun by day, and the 
 chilly air by night, sleeping on stoops or under old 
 boats turned bottom up on shore, for about three months. 
 My miserable condition was more realized by a num- 
 ber of black women than it was by myself; for they 
 frequently would call me as I was passing, and give me 
 a few mouthfuls of something to eat from their scanty 
 allowance, while the genuine pearly tears of sympathy 
 would trickle down their sable cheeks. You need not 
 
ask me why I am an abolitionist, for language is inca- 
 pable of expressing my gratitude to the oppressed peo- 
 ple with the dark skin. With the deepest emotion and 
 anxiety of soul, each morning when I awoke, I would 
 flatter myself that I should behold some American ves- 
 sel in the bay, that had ai rived during the night ; and 
 when disappointed, I would go to the nearest eleva- 
 tion, where I could extend my vision on the smooth 
 bosom of the blue deep, and, with intense gaze, stand 
 awhile and return to the market, with a familiar, 
 heavy, and dejected mind, and contemplate something 
 iike this : 
 
 Alas, that my mother was summoned away, 
 To leave me to hard-hearted strangers a prey : 
 What peace could my father one moment enjoy. 
 If he knew but the fate of his wandering boy ? 
 
 I once had a home ; yes, I once had a sire. 
 Who readily granted each needful desire ; 
 Now, to feed on the husks is my only employ, 
 While there's few that will pity a wandering boy. 
 
 While the rich are supplied by the swell of the sail, 
 Over oceans brought wide, urged on by the gale ; 
 Pinching hunger, and want, all my peace does de- 
 stroy, 
 None but slaves will assist a poor wandering boy. 
 
 At last there came to anchor in the bay a British 50 
 gun ship—a King's ship, full of troops. 1 saw her boat 
 approaching the shore ; and I reluctantly moved to- 
 wards the place where she landed, casting a wishful 
 
36 
 
 eye towards the ship, thinking she would be a home 
 for me, at least till I could get to some place where 
 there were American vessels; when I intended to de- 
 sert again: but my heart felt sad with the thoughts of 
 going on board of a British man-of-war ; as the ill 
 usage I had recently received from some of their sub- 
 jects, was fresh on my memory, and some of the marks 
 visible. As I stood not far from the boat, in medita- 
 tion, an officer (Mr. Smith, the sailing master,) step- 
 ped up towards me, and said — *< What ship do you 
 belong to, boy ?'^ Confused with fear and anxiety, I 
 told him, " None." He then called a sailor from the 
 boat, who picked me up, and conveyed me to the 
 boat, receiving his orders to deliver me to Mrs. Smith, 
 bis lady. The lady was happy at my appearance ; for 
 she had been without a boy some time : and with my 
 dinner she urged me to drink so much wine, that I be 
 came very much intoxicated, and fell asleep. When I 
 awoke, the first flash of sensation was like a soul born 
 to gasp, and die. Oh, the sad gloom that hovered round 
 my soul ! Alas ! I am in bondage. 
 
 Far distant the land, which would yield me delight, 
 Though the sunbeams in this, shines to others so bright, 
 In a whale of confusion, I am doomed to share ; 
 And to please a proud mistress, must be all my care. 
 My will to her fancy must constant be true. 
 While self-satisfaction comes seldom in view ; 
 Not a glimpse of the cause in myself could I find, 
 As conscience, my pilot, was sleeping, or blind. 
 
 One prevailing method of conforming subjects to a 
 man-of-war is, the allowance of grog ; it has a riveting 
 
37 
 
 gvasp on the sailor. The bustle of duty keeps his mind 
 in employ : but the thoughts of grog makes his heart 
 leap for joy. "The consequences of drunkenness are 
 Ireadful; but the pleasures of getting drunk are cer- 
 tainly ecstatic. While the illusion lasts, happiness is 
 complete ; care and melancholy are thrown to the wind . 
 and Elysium, with all its glories, descends upon the 
 dazzled imagination of the drinker. But what are the 
 sensations of incipient drunkenness? First, an unusual 
 serenity prevails over the mind ; and the soul of the 
 votary is filled with satisfaction. By degrees he is 
 sensible of a soft, and not unmusical humming in his 
 ears, at every pause of the conversation. He seems to 
 himself to wear his head lighter than usual upon his 
 shoulders. Then a species of obscurity, thinner than 
 the finest mist, passes before his eyes, and makes him 
 see objects rather indistinctly. The lights begin to 
 dance, and appear double. A gayety and warmth are 
 felt at the same time about the heart. The imagina- 
 tion is expanded, and filled with a thousand delightful 
 images. He becomes loquacious, and pours forth, in 
 enthusiastic language, the thoughts which are born as 
 it were within him. Some will tell the pleasure there 
 is felt in being drunk ; this, however, is not the most 
 exquisite period of the pleasure of inebriation. The time 
 is, when the person is neither drunk nor sober, but 
 neighbour to both. The moment is, when the ethereal 
 (emanations begin to float around the brain — when the 
 fr;oul is commencing to expand its wings, and rise from 
 earth — when the tongue feels itself somewhat loosened 
 in the mouth, and breaks the previous scene of solitary 
 gloom, which may have been deep and. oppressing. 
 
38 
 
 Many a man becomes a drunkard by necessity, who 
 was never so inclined by nature — who is perhaps a 
 person of amiable disposition, whom misfortune has 
 overtaken, and who, instead of bearing up manfully 
 against it, endeavours to drown his sorrows in liquor. 
 It is an excess of sensibility, a partial mental weak- 
 ness, an absolute misery of the heart, which drives him 
 on. Drunkenness, with him, is a consequence of mis- 
 fortune." I was depressed in spirit ; 1 longed to see my 
 father, sister, brother, and my native land. My mis- 
 tress, to soothe my dejected spirit, (for she knew it 
 well,) would compel me to drink frequently a glass of 
 good old Jamaica rum ; if it had not been good, I never 
 should have learned to drink, for good as it was, I de- 
 tested the taste of it. This may suffice to show how I 
 became a drunkard, or at least started to be one. Alas I 
 I expect too many know it by experience, who may 
 keep sober long enough to read this book through ; 
 so ril go on with my story. 
 
 I fared pretty well along for a while, till the other 
 boys began to cast their slang at me for having the 
 misfortune to be a Yankee. I bore it for a ^vhile, till 
 I got angry and had to fight ; but that was not the 
 worst of it. I had to take a flogging, by order of an 
 officer, for flogging my opponents ; the officer reproved 
 the other boys ; but it was like the captain of the Little 
 Belt, who was reproved by the British government for 
 meddling on our coast, lost his commission as captain 
 of a sloop of war, and got another for a 64 gun ship. 
 So I had to stand the brunt, and fight it out, though I 
 never was a fighter. I seldom ever fought till I was 
 penned up in a corner, and got a blow or two. 
 
39 
 
 The business of our ship (which was called the 
 Coramandel) was to convey troops on an expedition to 
 St. Bartholomew's, St. Martin's, St. Eustatia, St. 
 Thomas', and St. Croix. These islands we captured 
 from the Danes, Swedes, and French, about the year 
 ISOl. They surrendered without much fighting, and 
 I thought there was not much need of it, for the yellow 
 fever \vas taking them off 40 or 50 in 24 hours; 60 of 
 the soldiers' wives died out of our ship, besides the 
 men. After transporting troops from one island to an- 
 other a few months, we went to Barhadoes, where we 
 took on board a governor for the island of Curacoa, and 
 a regiment of troops for the same place. Our passage 
 was very pleasant, as it was all before the wind, and I 
 embraced all the leisure time I could get to be aloft, on 
 the look out for land. One day, as I was seated oo the 
 royal yard, in a playful humour, I sung out in a low 
 tone of voice, '* Land, ho!" but was suddenly seized 
 with trembling fear upon being asked by the captain, 
 *' Where away ?'^ i had to tell him that I saw no 
 land, and that I did not think he would hear me from 
 where I was. I feit sure of a flogging, but was hap- 
 pily disappointed, as all the punishment I got was to 
 stay where I was ti4l I could see the land ; and most 
 assuredly I should hav-e had to stay up there a week, 
 had not the land hove in sight; but I caught a view 
 of it in less than an hour, and once more avoided a flog- 
 ging, which about that time I was commonly well 
 stocked with, and coutd spare one at any time. One 
 cause of my getting frequently flogged was, my mis 
 tress was very partial to some of the sailors, Scotch- 
 meUs her Hcountryraen, and she would often slyly treat 
 
40 
 
 theisi, by which means her husband's stores were too 
 suddenly diminished ; each bottle in the case was well 
 noticed by Mr. Smith, and she always shoved the blame 
 on me, telling him that I was a little Yankee thief, and 
 sold the rum, when her back was turned, for fruit. If 
 I had sold but half as much as she drank, I might have 
 been constantly supplied with fruit, but I never sold a 
 drop. 
 
 The town and harbour of Curaeoa is worthy of hav- 
 ing a description given of it by an able, cultivated 
 mind, and I am sorry that I am not the one ; but I am 
 under the obligation of doing what I can. It is small 
 and barren, having a large town situated on each side 
 of the entrance of a harbour on the south side. It lies 
 in the Carribean sea, about 20 miles distant from the 
 mainland of South America. Its numerous inhabitants 
 are supported by traffic between other nations and 
 South America ; they are a mixed mess of mongrels^ 
 originating chiefly from Hollanders, Spaniards, and In- 
 dians, having a tongue or language of their own. fl 
 was a glorious sight for them lo see so large a ship as 
 ours, sail through the entrance of the harbour that was 
 directly through the town ; and the siglit was no less 
 glorious for us to see the windows crowded, the houses 
 covered, and the wharves and shipping full of gazing 
 spectators, who had never seen so larg-e a ship in the 
 harbour before. After sailing a distance cf one mile, 
 through a passage not more than three times the length 
 of our ship in width, we immersed into a large bay, 
 and came to anchor about half a mile distant from the 
 shore, perfectly land-locked, where the water was as 
 SEiooth as a mill-pond, having the appearance of a lake 
 
41 
 
 Debauchery and intemperance of every kind are ex 
 tensively practised tliere. The females came on hoard 
 to see the sailors by scores, and their dancing, songs, 
 and actions, Avere pleasing to such as were void of mo- 
 rality. While we were sailing through the town, I ob- 
 served a number of American vessels lying at the 
 wharves, and my mind was in constant operation, con- 
 triving a plan to desert and get on board of one of 
 them. There were numerous ravenous sharks in the 
 harbour, that often made their appearance around our 
 ship, and we lay at a distance of two miles from the 
 town ; so that an attempt to swim that distance, was 
 a hazard I feared to undertake. 
 
 It was proposed to me one day, by a young mulatto, 
 of our ship's company, that we could swim ashore to 
 the land that was nearest to, and exactly ahead of the 
 ship, and from thence walk to the town. This plan I 
 had previously in contemplation, but there stood a fort 
 and garrison on a hill near where I should have to land, 
 and I feared being detected by the sentinel ; and more- 
 over. I wanted company, for my courage failed wlien 
 it came night, after resolving to try it through the day, 
 and I rejoiced to heur the young man's proposal- We 
 lay that evening on the foiecastle by ourselves, contri- 
 ving our plans of escape, till about eleven o'clock, when 
 all on board were apparently asleep, except one senti- 
 nel, who was walking the quarter-deck. We stripped 
 otf our shirts and trovvseis, rolled tliem snug together, 
 tied them on the back of our necks, and very silently 
 lo^.vered ourselves into the water by a rope. While 
 ihus immersing into the water, naked, and unp'Otected 
 from the sharks, a most lionible, thrilling sensation of 
 
42 
 
 fear seized me in every part of my system, that almost 
 deprived me of the power of action ; but a fresh sup- 
 ply of courage, so much needed, soon came to my as- 
 sistance, and I struck out after my consort, who was al- 
 ready a few strokes ahead of me, pulling for the shore ; 
 and, as in the case of Daniel of old with the lions, the 
 Lord shut the sharks' moulhs, and we reached the shore 
 in safety. We crept along the shore among the rocks, 
 in silence, till we got some distance from the fort, and 
 as we were passing it, we could hear the sound made 
 by the sentinel's feet as he walked to and fro. "When 
 we had walked about half a mile, to our sad dismay, 
 another difficulty made its appearance; for alas I we 
 were on an island, and the alternative was, swim again 
 or be apprehended, as we could find neither boat nor 
 canoe ; so we tied our clothes on our necks, as before, 
 and swam across, a distance, I suppose, of one- 
 fourth of a mile. While I was making my way to land 
 among the rocks, I stepped on a sea egg. This is a 
 species of the testaceous order ; they are of oblong form, 
 about as large as a man's fist, covered with very sharp 
 spines, flat on the under part, where their mouth is ; 
 the spines are their instruments of motion, which are 
 connected to the outer skin. The spine of the white 
 sea egg is not over half an inch long ; these are some- 
 times eaten by the West Indians ; they are found on 
 sandy bottom. But the one I stepped on was very 
 different, though of the same species ; it was the black 
 gea egg, commonly found among rocks ; its body is 
 small, its spines long and sharper than needles, and of 
 course easily broken. These were the spines that were 
 broken ofl^, and the points remained in the sole of my 
 
43 
 
 foot, which for an hour caused an excruciatingf pain , 
 so that I could not move from the spot; and though 
 the day was approaching, and we had landed in view 
 of the ship, my consort did not leave me, but assisted 
 me as soon as I could move, and we got into the town 
 just at daybreak. We parted, and I got across the 
 passage that led to the harbour, and went on board oi 
 a schooner that belonged to New- York, was received 
 by the captain as cabin boy, and thought myself safe. 
 They apprehended my consort that same day. 
 
 I felt in high glee, thinking I was going home, but 
 was rather negligent and careless about keeping out 
 of sight; and went about the deck, where my duty re- 
 quired me to be. It was suggested to me by one of the 
 sailors of the vessel that I was on board of, that the 
 captain had informed the British officers of my being 
 on board of his vessel ; the sailor also advised me not 
 to stay on board, but to secrete myself somewhere on 
 shore, and he would supply me with victuals. But the 
 captain's kind treatment of me induced me to disbelieve 
 the sailor's report. I staid on board, and alas ! found 
 the sailor's information too true. I had been three 
 days on board, when one morning I saw the ship's 
 barge approaching, with the captain in her. I knew 
 not where to fly — no time to contemplate. Had I but 
 started for the shore, I might have escaped : but it was 
 not my doom. I ran into the forecastle, and one of the 
 sailors threw some dry bullocks' hides over me. I 
 was in hopes they had not discovered me, but were 
 only going to land close to the vessel I was in, for some 
 exclusive purpose; but soon found these hopes vain, 
 fox one of the man-of-war's men came directly to the 
 
44 
 
 scuttle where I was, and called me by namie ; my 
 hopes vanished with the speed of thought, and with 
 trembling I was compelled to approximate my foes. 
 The captain gave charge to his cockswain to take me 
 on board, and tell the commanding officer to give me 
 three dozen. Three dozen ! What a sound ! It fell 
 with the force of thunder upon my already depressed 
 mind and heart, while trembling and reluctant I got 
 into the barge ; and while we were gliding toward my 
 horrid home, at each stroke of the oars, the sound re- 
 verberated three dozen / and again, when climbing the 
 ship's side, three dozen was sounding to my soul. 1 
 was told by the commanding officer to stand between 
 two cannon, and watched the sailor's lips as he deli- 
 vered his message, slightly hoping he might skip the 
 three dozen ; but again this little hope left me. But 
 there was relief at hand, that I had not the least sus- 
 picion of I felt as a culprit. I know not how to de- 
 cribe my feelings, other than by saying that I had a 
 true falsified impression on my mind. I felt guilty, but 
 I was not guiUy ; for I had no more business there, than 
 queen Victoria has to come here and become my ser- 
 vant. It happened that the whole ship's company and 
 officers were very busily engaged in getting the ship 
 ready for sea. Mrs. Smith, on hearing that I was 
 brought back, came out of her cabin, and asked the 
 commandinof officer w^hat he intended to do with me? 
 His answer was, '' I'll see to him by and by." She 
 said to him, " You are so engaged, I'll take him and 
 punish him. TU warrant you I'll learn the little scoun- 
 drel not to desert again 1" The officer was glad to get 
 rid of the task ; so I was seized up to the mizen shrouds 
 
'ill 
 
 by a favourite quartermaster, a townsman of Mis, 
 Smith's, who stood by while he gave me six lashes, 
 and then told him that would do ; that she guessed I 
 would not desert again. So I went happily about my 
 duty, and felt grateful for my good fortune ; rny mother 
 had flogged me with more severity before I was six 
 years old. But my consort, the poor mulatto, had no 
 one to befriend him ; he was flogged till the blood 
 dropped upon the deck: the officers had suspicion that 
 he decoyed me away, though I did not tell them so. 
 
 Our ship belonged to the wandw^ard West India sta- 
 tion, and it was the captain's duty to proceed thither ; 
 but she was old and out of repair, and he thought it 
 advisable to run to Jamaica, as it was nearer, and a 
 smoother passage, as the trade wind blows from the 
 eastward, and our course was not far from north-west . 
 so we made sail, and arrived at Port-Royal, Jamaica. 
 But the admiral w^as not pleased with our captain's 
 proceedings, and ordered him to go with his ship to 
 Martinico. This was a task — a distance, I suppose, 
 of nearly a thousand miles, against a fresh head w^ind, 
 most of the time a current too. But we had to try it : 
 and after beating about a month, and having attained 
 to about half-way distant between the east and west 
 ends of St. Domingo, we w^ere overtaken by a heavy 
 gale, which caused the ship to labour and roll so 
 shockingly, that she carried away her mizenmast, 
 maintopmast, and some other spars. During this gale, 
 it was with difficulty that the sailors could move about 
 the deck ; and not being able to cook, we had to eat raw- 
 meat, or go without. Mrs. Smith, to keep her spirit? 
 up, turned spirits down. She was a very lusty lady, 
 
46 
 
 and once in a while, when the ship gave a few extra 
 lurches, she would lose her hold, and tumble about the 
 cabin, and bounce from side to side, as Jim Crow says, 
 *' more quicker than faster," every end upwards. I 
 pitied her; but sad as her situation was, I had to stand 
 and laugh, while she was striving to get breath enough 
 to send me some imprecations for not stopping her mo- 
 tion. It was well for her that no one but myself saw 
 her, or knew of her inebriated situation ; her husband 
 was strenuously engaged with the affairs of the ship. 
 All we had to do now, was to up helm, square the 
 yards, and run for Jamaica again. The admiral was 
 not at all pleased in view of our approach, and he re- 
 solved, let wind or thunder prevail, our ship should go 
 to Martinico. Accordingly, we were supplied with 
 masts and spars that were necessary, also provisions 
 and water, and set sail again. 
 
 In leaving Port Royal, there are shoals and sand- 
 banks, some rocks and clay banks off' the harbour, 
 that extend eight or a dozen miles from the town, or 
 place where the shipping lay. To clear these, it is 
 necessary to take the advantage of the land wind, by 
 getting under way very early in the morning; but 
 some days the sea breeze comes in sooner than others. 
 It happened so the day we set sail. The sea breeze 
 came in fresh before we w^ere clear of the shoals; the 
 ship was brought upon the wind, and in staying she 
 misstayed and struck with tremendous force on a bank, 
 where she thumped with violence for four hours. We 
 were in sight of the shipping in Port Royal, and we 
 fired repeated signal guns of distress, till over 100 
 boats and a schooner were sent to our assistance. This 
 
47 
 
 allair happened in the year 1802, the time of the short 
 cessation of arms between Britain and Bony; and the 
 French fleet that was sent on the expedition against 
 the blacks at St. Domingo, was aJso lying at Port 
 Royal, and we had many of their boats to our assis- 
 tance. Our ship was towed into harbour, with the loss 
 of her rudder, all her anchors, part of her cables, and 
 part of her false keel. But the old admiral was not yet 
 convinced of an opposing Providence; he insisted that 
 our ship should go to Martinico. The poor pilot who 
 was sent to pilot our ship out, being a king's slave, was 
 hung without a trial. 
 
 As this narrative is chiefly intended to show the cor- 
 ruption of uncultivated human nature, with its inclina- 
 tion to folly, I shall take the liberty to relate one more^ 
 among the many incidents of my silliness. We had a 
 large cook room in this ship, expressly for troops, se- 
 parate from the room where the cooking was done for 
 the ship's company and oflicers. As we had then no 
 troops on board, this room was not occupied, but in it 
 there stood a large caboose. One day, as I was search- 
 ing under this caboose for fuel to cook my master's 
 dinner, I routed out a small bag, with something in it 
 which gingled like specie. I was not disappointed, for 
 on untying it, I found it contained something like fifty 
 dollars. 1 was glad, and I trembled; I was afraid 
 some one else would find it, and I durst not take it out 
 of the room, for fear some one would find out what I 
 had got ; and being in haste, I took out a couple of 
 dollars, tied it up, shoved it under the caboose again, 
 and kept it dark. But after a day or two, as I pre- 
 sented Mrs. Smith with some fruit, she accosted me 
 
48 
 
 thus : *' Where do you get so much fruit ? I have ob- 
 served your hands full of fruit half the time these three 
 days." I was unprepared to answer ; I had forgotten 
 to provide against such an attack ; I appeared to her 
 as if guilty, and she accused me of selling provisions 
 out of the store-room, which I with promptness denied. 
 *' Well then," said she, " tell me how you got it." I 
 thought it best, and told her the truth. " O you little 
 fool 1" said she ; " go right away, and see if it is there 
 yet." I went, but it was missing; some one had been 
 more cunning than myself How the money came 
 there, I never learned. It might have been stolen by 
 some officer's servant, who, for fear of being detected, 
 had deposited it under the caboose. 
 
 Our ship was fitted out, and sent for Martinico again. 
 Our captain thought best to beat up close along the 
 coast of South America, bat we had fresh breezes on 
 that coast also ; it blew half a gale for three weeks, 
 during which time I had much trouble to encounter 
 with Mrs. Smith, who was constantly tipsy ; and when 
 in that situation, she felt very lofty. She had been very 
 rich, had had many servants, and when she tasted the 
 wine, or juice of cane, she felt high ; she would not strike 
 me, but, like the quaker, she'd " give me a bad name." 
 She got so bad at last, that her husband took but little 
 notice of her accusations against me. 
 
 One night, while we were buffeting the steady head 
 wind, and force of the succeeding waves, the carpenter 
 of the watch reported to the officer of the deck, that 
 the ship had five feet water in her hold. This report 
 caused an alarm to run through the ship, like the cry 
 of murder through a country village in a calm night ; 
 
49 
 
 and all hands were quickly summoned to the pumps. 
 The report is made by the carpenter to the olfRcer every 
 two hours; the previous report had been made at 12 
 o'clock, when there \vas but eighteen inches water in 
 the hold, and the last report was made at 2; so you 
 can judge hov/ fast she leaked. We had six pumps ; 
 two were chain, and the others engine pumps; they 
 were kept in constant operation till daylight, when they 
 had gained but ten inches, and the sailors began to lag. 
 We had a harbour, at a distance of fifty miles, under 
 our lee, and they up helm, and put the ship before the 
 wind, till we got within twenty miles of the harbour, 
 which is called Carthagine ; we were ten miles dis- 
 tant from the land, where we had to anchor, on account 
 of the shallow^ness of the water, and our having no pi- 
 lot on board. The sailors at the pumps just made out 
 to keep the water from increasing its depth in the hold, 
 when an officer proposed a plan that gave them relief. 
 A spare sail was got on deck from the sail-room, and 
 blankets were cut into strips and sewed all over it, 
 which made it like a mat ; when ropes were fastened 
 to its corners, it was put over the fore-part of the ship, 
 let down into the water, and drawn under the ship's 
 bottom ; the blankets sucked into the leak, the ship soon 
 had the usual depth of water in her hold, and there 
 were glad hearts among the sailors. 
 
 Our captain sent an officer with a boat's crew in the 
 launch, that is, a large boat, into Carthagine for a pi- 
 lot, but the wind was so strong against them that they 
 could not return, and we had to. lie ten or tw^elve days, 
 when our captain, out of patience, ordered the anchor 
 up, and run the ship off the harbour's mouth ; then our 
 
 4 
 
m 
 
 boat came off" with a pilot, who conveyed our ship into 
 a snug harbour, a few miles west of Carthagine, called 
 Bocacheeca, that is, in English, small mouth. This 
 harbour takes its name from the narrowness of its en- 
 trance ; the description of the harbour answers very 
 well for this. But there is an extra curiosity belonging 
 to the harbour of Bocacheeca, which I think I shall 
 add ; and that is, the water in the harbour is so pellu- 
 cid, that you might see a 25 cent piece on the bottom 
 in seven fathoms water, while the water along the coast; 
 and at the mouth of it, is very thick and muddy. 
 
 There lay in the harbour a British frigate, waiting 
 for the release of about 150 British sailors ; these were 
 sent on board of our ship, to help us to pump if the leak 
 should break out afresh. After lying there about a 
 week, we made sail in company with the frigate, and 
 arrived once more at Port Royal. Now the old ad- 
 miral thought for sartin, that we must be freighted 
 with Finland fairies. "What!" said he ; "has that 
 glipst-like old ship got back again ?'^ Yes, and she 
 stuck to him this time ; she never sailed from that port 
 again. They took out her stores, guns, ammunition, 
 and ballast, and hauled her alongside of the wharf, at 
 the navy yard, intending to heave her out, and repair 
 her : but she was condemned as unfit for repair. This 
 was a fatal time for many poor sailors. At Kingston, 
 several perished with hunger, occasioned by their own 
 folly, and the hard-heartedness of their officers. Peace 
 was proclaimed, and the restriction on seamen, in the 
 men-of-war, was lightened ; they were permitted to go 
 on shore by scores, on liberty, but a specific time was 
 set for them to be on board asfain, Too m.any of them 
 
51 
 
 were so strongly habituated to drinking, by their semi 
 daily allowance on board, that they gave full scope to 
 their passions when they got on shore, carrying on all 
 sail, swaying away on all topropes, as happy as mor« 
 tals could be, regarding neither actions nor consequen- 
 ces, forgetting that time was on the wing, and seldom 
 stopping till every means of getting grog was expended, 
 then compelled reluctantly to return to their ships. 
 The officers, by order of their commanders, were faith- 
 ful to mark each man's time, and stood ready to oppose 
 them, telling them to go on shore again, with vocife- 
 rous language — such as, " You are a lubberly rascal, 
 an unfaithful scoundrel ; be off with you 1" <&c. Some 
 of these men undoubtedly had been years in the service, 
 and had their wages due them, and some of them much 
 prize money ; but must submit to be thus duped out of 
 It, to enrich their superiors in station and circumstan- 
 ces, or to enrich the nation for which their lives had 
 so frequently been in danger, and oceans of sweat had 
 been extorted from their weary bodies. 
 
 " Oh, yes 1 that sunken eye with fire once gleam'd. 
 And rays of bliss from its full circlet stream'd ; 
 But now neglect has stung him to the core, 
 And hope's wild raptures thrill his breast no more ; 
 Depressing anguish winds his vitals round, 
 And added grief compels him to the ground. 
 Lo ! o'er his manly form, decay'd and wan. 
 The shades of death with gradual steps steal on, 
 While the pale victim, pining to decay, 
 Weeps for his loss, his wretched life away. 
 Survey his sleepless couch, and standing there, 
 Tell the poor pallid wretch, that life is fair !" 
 
52 
 
 While our ship was lying alongside of the wharf at 
 the navy yard, my mind was constantly in operation, 
 contriving" a plan to get away. 
 
 I thought upon the well known spot, 
 My dear, my long-lost native home ! 
 
 When shall I reach the little cot, 
 
 Where I shall rest, no more to roam? 
 
 The wall that enclosed the yard was about twenty 
 feet high, and was extended several rods into the wa- 
 ter, the part in the water being composed of long piles 
 drove into the ground, with beam or plate extended 
 along on their tops, in which beam were arranged a 
 row of iron pickets, about a foot long, and six inches 
 apart. I was prevented from swimming around this 
 wall, by two obstacles; one was a sentinel — the other, 
 the fear of sharks, which were large, numerous, and 
 bold in that harbour. Near the wall, on the inside, 
 there stood a long warehouse, one side of which was 
 placed on the extremity of the wharf, over the water ; 
 at the inside of this building stood a sentinel, whom it 
 was impossible for me to pass unperceived ; but to pass 
 him I was determined— and about 10 o'clock one even- 
 ing, as all seemed to be asleep, I slid to the wharf on 
 one of the cables that held the ship, crept to the end of 
 the above-described warehouse, andby getting my toes 
 among the stones that composed its foundation, and my 
 fingers under the lapped boards, I succeeded in mea- 
 suring the building from end to end, which brought 
 me past the sentinel, but not outside of the wall. To 
 surmount the next difficulty, was now for considera- 
 tion. *' How shall I get over the wall?" I was just 
 
53 
 
 concluding to swim it, when I perceived a boat with a 
 mast in her, lying near the wall. I made no delay, 
 but got into her, and to my joy, found a pile of stone 
 ballast in her; these I commenced shifting from the 
 off to the inside of the boat, with care and caution to 
 be silent, till the top of the mast nearly touched the top 
 of the wall ; I then climbed the mast, and reached the 
 pickets, w^hich I easily got through. But to drop my- 
 self from the top of the wall on the outside, appeared 
 dangerous. For a large space, it was a filthy slough 
 of mud, old boats and canoes, and broken glass bottles; 
 but I could not retreat. I lowered myself down as far 
 as I could by the pickets, and let go, sunk about half- 
 leg deep into the mud, without harm, waded through 
 it, and was in the town. 
 
 As present performances in each present circum- 
 stance were all I contemplated, not looking ahead, or 
 exercising any logic, I had brought myself into a hob- 
 ble, where no vista appeared ; nor could I have got out 
 of it, short of the interposing directions of an all-wise, 
 overruling Providence. I was on the extremity of a 
 narrow strip of land, that extended seven miles from the 
 mainland of Jamaica — a barren, sandy palisade. A 
 wall, beset with sentinels, across this palisade, enclosed 
 the town on the back side ; the town w^as constantly 
 thronged with naval and military officers and men — 
 and where was my retreat ? This I had not once 
 thought of I strolled about an hour or so, then crept 
 into a passage boat, rolled myself in one of the sails, 
 and fell asleep. I w^as awakened by the master (and 
 I think likely owner) of the boat, a stout mulatto, w^ho 
 wds preparing his little vessel to take passengers to. 
 
54 
 
 Kingston. Some were already on board, and seated. 
 ** Hilloo, boy !" said he ; "what you do here ? Come^ 
 come, go ashore, go ashore.'* I began to plead with 
 him to let me go up to Kingston with him ; but my 
 pleading would not have availed, for he was resolute 
 on my going on shore, had not the sympathy of one 
 of the passengers, a handsome mulatto girl, been ex- 
 cited in my behalf. She begged of him to let me go 
 with them, and he told me to crawl in out of sight. 
 The ship I left was not more than fifty rods from us, 
 and we passed close by her, and I was landed at King- 
 ston, where there were plenty of merchant vessels, and 
 plenty of poor sailors that could get no employ ; this 
 Avas only five miles from, the ship I left. 
 
 From wharf to wharf, each ship to view, 
 
 With hope and strong desire ; 
 But found, alas 1 my hopes untrue. 
 
 When forced to retire. 
 When hope, about to take his leave, 
 
 Had let me feel despair. 
 At once there came a kind reprieve. 
 
 That made my prospect fair. 
 
 After searching diligently all day, in vain, for an 
 American vessel, whose captain would grant me an 
 asylum from approaching want for my servitude, about 
 sunset I hit on the right one. It was a sloop that be- 
 longed to Connecticut ; they heard my narrative with 
 attention, and told me 1 was welcome to sail with them 
 to New- York. After discharging her cargo, we pro- 
 ceeded to the palisades, took in ballast, and then re- 
 turned to Kingston. There was now for me but one 
 
i)5 
 
 apparent difficulty ahead, and that was, we had to pass 
 near the ship from which I had deserted, to get out to 
 sea. We proceeded, and passing the ship, came to an- 
 chor, say two miles beyond her; the captain of the sloop 
 I was in took the boat, and all hands but one went on 
 shore, the captain being obligated to clear out at that 
 custom-house. I was so fearful of being apprehended, 
 that I crawled into an empty flour barrel, that was in 
 the run under the cabin floor. Here I fell asleep, and 
 was awakened by the man on deck calling to me, tell- 
 i-ng me to come up ; *'for (said he) they have come for 
 you." My hopes were again far away. " Alas, my 
 sad fate!" was the reply of my soul; *'am I doomed 
 yet to slavery ?" While in this deplorable, dejected 
 moment of reflection, the man said to me, ** Come up, 
 and sit in the cabin ; you need not be so afraid ; if 
 they knew that you were here, they'd have you ; but 
 they don't know it, and all you've got to do is to keep 
 out of their sight." Now again w^as my spirit re- 
 vived; the captain returned, and the next morning the 
 land wind wafted us out of sight of the ship, island 
 and all. 
 
 We were eighteen days buffeting a stiff trade wind 
 that was ahead, when we had to put into a place called 
 Platform Bay, for the purpose of obtaining fresh wa- 
 ter. This bay is in St. Domingo, and this was the 
 lime of the insurrection by the blacks, under their lead- 
 er Tusang. Each party, blacks and w^hites, were at 
 that time perpetrating the most horrid acts of barbarous 
 murder and massacre. As the bay where we landed 
 was surrounded with mountainous, craggy cliffs, and 
 the few white families that resided there kept all their 
 
56 
 
 valuables in their boats, ready at a moment^s alarm, 
 they were not in danger ; as the disturbance had not 
 as yet reached ^hat part of the island. 
 
 We set sail from that place, intending' and expecting 
 in a short time to inhale the free air in the land of free- 
 dom. But the fresh north-east trade prevented us from 
 weathering the east end of Cuba ; and after beating 
 many days, when we had obtained our object in wea- 
 thering the cape, and were in a fair passage to sail for 
 New-York, another accident happened, which caused 
 us to alter our course. The step of our mast gave 
 way, the vessel sprang a leak, and we had to bear away 
 for New-Providence, as it was the nearest harbour of 
 note under our lee. After constant pumping for se- 
 veral days, we reached the above-mentioned port, and 
 ran the sloop on shore, to prevent her from sinking ; 
 the water was already over the cabin floor, notwith- 
 standing our utmost exertions at the pumps. As I w^as 
 only a passenger, and felt rather dissatisfied with my 
 accommodations, I embraced the first opportunity, and 
 got safe on shore; but soon found I had got into ano- 
 ther place of starvation; for the first object that at- 
 tracted my notice was a poor old horse feeding upon 
 shavings, and he appeared as if he had been fed upon 
 scraggy oak branches. I strayed about the town three 
 or fgur hours, then went and seated myself on the 
 wharf, near a boat that belonged to an American sloop 
 which lay at a small distance from the shore, expect- 
 ing that some of the crew would soon come to go on 
 board; there was only one more American vessel in 
 the port, and that w^as a very small schooner, I was 
 iiot disappointed ; for I had not sat there fifteen minutes. 
 
i>i 
 
 when the captain of the sloop came. I soon made my 
 situation known lo him, and he told me to jump into 
 the boat. I did so, went on board, and w^s at home at 
 once, or as contented as if I had been a twelvemonth 
 on board. My last captain sold his old sloop, and he 
 and all his crew took passage in the sloop with me. 
 We took in a cargo of mahogany and pine apples, 
 and made sail ; had a short and pleasant passage, and 
 I was once more safely landed on my {then) happy na- 
 tive shore, at New- York. 
 
 And what allur'd me to this shore? 
 A mother? no — she \vas no more. 
 A father dear I long'd to see, 
 But house, or home, was not for me. 
 
 I left the sloop that I came from the West Indies in, 
 though the captain desired, and expected, that I would 
 continue with him ; got on board of another, and went 
 to Albany. I v^'as then Avithin twenty-live miles of the 
 place where my father resided, but had no thoughts of 
 going to see him; but a passenger that came with us 
 from New- York, knowing my father, told him where 
 I was. I was as blithe and independent as any free 
 negro, getting the dinner ready for about twenty gen- 
 tlemen passengers, (who were already on board, and 
 expected to set sail in a few^ minutes for New-York,) 
 when a gentleman met me on deck, and. without cere- 
 mony, calling me by name, asked me how I did? I 
 thought it a little strange, and told him he had the ad- 
 vantage of me — that I did not know Azsname. " Don't 
 3^ou know your father T' said he. I looked up — it was 
 enough; I beheld the manly tear of joy and sorrov*^ 
 
58 
 
 dropping from his cheek ; but alas! I was insensible 
 to his feelings. He told me I must accompany him 
 home, but it was not my desire. My present captain 
 was a clever man, and just ready to set sail, and I did 
 not like to leave him destitute of a cook ; but my father 
 insisted that I should go home with him, and I com- 
 plied. My father's desire was, that I should get some 
 education ; *' and then," said he, " if you have a mind 
 to go to sea, you can act your pleasure." The first 
 person to whom I was introduced on my arrival at 
 home, was a stepmother. I did not much admire her 
 appearance, and it went against the grain for me to 
 call her mother ; but I hung on at home, and went to 
 school about three months ; when silly fancy prompted 
 me to watch a chance — and one Sunday, while my fa- 
 ther and his wife were at church, I made out to get the 
 drawer open, took some cash, got into the stage, and 
 that evening was landed in Albany. 
 
 I felt within, a glowing fire, 
 And wandering was my soul's desire ; 
 As little thought of storms ahead, 
 As if hard fate had long been dead ; 
 A present bliss was all my care. 
 Nor ever thought how I should fare, 
 Next week, to-morrow, or next year. 
 
 For the space of two years, I did not go to sea, but 
 staid chiefly on shore ; hired at many places, but could 
 not content myself at any; attempted several times to 
 learn some trade, but each resolution soon became stale. 
 There was a constant restless anxiety for something— I 
 could not tell what. 
 
59 
 
 A VOYAGE TO ST. DOxMINGO, 
 
 WITH SOME ACCOUNT OF THE 
 
 EFFECTS OF THE INSURRECTION. 
 
 ^' And oft at midnight, when the desert slorm 
 Broke o'er the fields, their beauty to deform, 
 Hurling the branches of the trees on high, 
 Leaving the cottage roofless to the sky, 
 Or — worse than woes of elemental strife, 
 The savage death-shot and the reckless knife, 
 Which knew no mercy, from the locks of gray, 
 To the fresh brow, that in the cradle lay, 
 How shrunk the Pilgrim's heart, amid his care, 
 Lest God should give his labours to despair! 
 Those fears are over, with the Pilgrim's toil — 
 lie sleeps in peace beneath the blood-drench'd soil." 
 
 In the year 1804, 1 was in my sixteenth year. One 
 fine summer day, as I was strolling along the wharves 
 in the city of New- York, my attention was excited by 
 the glorious appearance of a large ship lying in the 
 stream. Her banners were gently waving, agitated 
 by the soft south aiV from the ocean : her topsails were 
 loose, and sheeted home; she had a row of hard metal 
 bulldogs, pointing their white heads through square 
 holes, at regular distances, in the ship's side; and to 
 enliven my mind, and add tenfold lustre to the object 
 of my delight, the drum and fife were in active use on 
 board of her. As I was then out of employ, the im- 
 pression on my mind was, " if they want a boy on board 
 x^f that ship, I'll go." A gentleman stepped up to me. 
 
60 
 
 and said, '* Do you want a ship V I told him, ** Yes, 
 if he had one to spare." " Do you want a birth to go 
 to sea?" said he; '* there's a fine ship, and I'll give 
 you ten dollars per month to go in her." I agreed, 
 and went on board, without asking, or much caring, 
 whither she was bound. 
 
 I suppose you know that this was about the time that 
 the French gave up the strife with the blacks at the 
 island of St. Domingo, the latter having gained their 
 liberty, after a desperate and bloody struggle. As 
 those blacks were in expectation that the French would 
 renew their attack upon them, and they stood in need 
 of arms, ammunition, provisions, and stores of every 
 description, it opened an opportunity for speculation to 
 those of our Yankee adventurers who w^ere able to fit 
 out armed vessels, and would run the risk of having 
 them captured by the French, who w^ere making use 
 of every effort to prevent their opponents (the blacks) 
 from getting assistance. 
 
 We got under way, and had to sail close past two 
 French frigates, then lying a little below the city of 
 New-York. They vrere well acquainted with the ob- 
 ject of our voyage, and their numerous crews were 
 ranged along their ships' sides, where they stood mute, 
 with intent gaze at our ship, as we passed, our music 
 tauntingly playing " Yankee Doodle." This was not 
 a Yankee tiick; our captain was a sturdy old tar, a 
 native of Britain. We had to run under easy sail for 
 several days, till we got the ship in preparation for 
 action. We had to make boarding nettings, as we ex- 
 pected to hive to repel the crew of some French Pri- 
 vateer. Though we spoke several vessels, it was our 
 
61 
 
 good fortune to shun the enemy ; and we sailed on to 
 the south, through Turks' Island passage, and arrived 
 safe at Cape Francois, St. Domingo. The blacks were 
 much rejoiced at our arrival, fired several salutes, and 
 the city was in an uproar w'ith shouting and music — 
 though, at the same time, there were three hundred 
 putrifying human bodies lying in heaps across eack 
 other, in a church, not 40 rods from where our boats 
 landed. There had been, shortly previous, a massacre 
 of white French, men, women, and children. These 
 unhappy victims, when the city was besieged by the 
 blacks, had fled to the church, thinking that its sacred 
 rights would appal their opponents ; but they w^ere too 
 hardened with rage, they had no pity. 
 
 We landed sonie of our cargo at Cape Francois, 
 consisting chiefly of arms and powder, then pfoceeded 
 to the bite of Leeugan, to a small port called Gunives. 
 At that place, the blacks were using exertion, and im- 
 proving every moment in building fortifications on hills 
 and m.ountains surrounding the town ; not an indivi- 
 dual was exempt from labour, who w^as able to lift a 
 stone five pounds' weight, w^omen or their children. 
 Our ship's company were 75 in number, a sturdy set 
 of fellows. When,the captain gave orders to heave 
 the anchor up, to make sail from that place, the men 
 refused to obey ; they were dissatisfied about the quan- 
 tity of liquor they received as their rations. The cap- 
 tain and his mates insisted and commanded them to do 
 their duty. *' That we are doing," was the unanimous 
 answer from the sailors. " It is your duty to perform 
 according as you agreed, in New- York, when we 
 signed the articles. Do that, and we'll get your ship 
 
62 
 
 tfiider way, or any thing you desire of us." One of 
 the owners of the ship was on board, who urged the 
 captain to compel the sailors to their duty. A bloody 
 fight ensued, several were wounded, and the officers 
 had to retreat to the quarter-deck. A small boat \vas 
 despatched to the shore by our officers, and we were 
 soon visited by a small vessel, filled with black troops. 
 After another short fracas with the soldiers, the sailors 
 submitted: nineteen of them were manacled, and deli- 
 vered to the custody of the blacks, who, by the glo~ 
 rious sound of drums and fifes, conveyed them to the 
 shore, where they were compelled to serve the blacks 
 at hard labour, building forts, for about three months, 
 while Vv^e proceeded with the ship to Port au Prince. 
 We had a black pilot on board ; but our captain, made 
 more wise by the effects of brand}^ took the charge 
 from him, and altered the course the pilot had given 
 to the helmsman. The pilot told him he would run 
 the ship aground, but the captain abused him. We 
 were sailing with a fair wind and a good breeze, when 
 the ship ran on to a sand bank. It is a task to describe 
 the situation of the captain's mind on this occasion. 
 He was confused, and must have felt guilty ; but to 
 stifle these disagreeable feelings, he stamped, swore, 
 and found fault with every thing but himself To re- 
 medy this evil, and get the ship afloat again, all hands 
 were employed hoisting out of all the hatchways, and 
 heaving overboard goods for tw^elve hours, wuth little 
 intermission ; hogsheads and pipes of liquor were stove 
 in the hold, and their contents forced overboard by the 
 ship's pumps ; so you may imagine what the merchant 
 gained by trying to save a little from the allowance of 
 
03 
 
 the sailors. We were about five miles from land, anri 
 were favoured with a light breeze from the shore ; had 
 there been a stiff sea breeze, as there commonly h 
 daily at that place, our ship would in all probability 
 have been a gone case. 
 
 We got the ship afloat again, and proceeded to Port 
 au Prince, where she was safely moored, the sails un- 
 bent, and the topmasts struck. Our merchant had a 
 large store on shore, filled with goods, which he was 
 exchanging for coffee at an incredible profit. The in- 
 habitants of that island, who had but recently gained 
 their freedom by a long and bloody struggle, now con- 
 cluded to put themselves under the despotic power of 
 an emperor, whose name w^as Desalines; and there 
 was great ado, rejoicing with music and firing, the day 
 he was crowned: seven armed American vessels that 
 were lying in port, each gave him the honour of a 
 grand salute. Though those blacks are represented 
 as a barbarous, relentless people, they pay attention to 
 devotion ; w^e could see the emperor and his retinue, 
 at the head of his officers and soldiers,- following the 
 sound of music to church on Sundays. They are all 
 Roman Catholics : when they are good, they are too 
 good. There w^ere many white French at that time 
 in that place, secreted in cellars. This was known to 
 Mr. Forbes, our merchant, w4io had formed a plan for 
 their liberation. To accomplish this plan, the ladies 
 were dressed in the habiliments of young sailors, be- 
 smeared with filth and tar, by which means they pass- 
 ed the custom and guard houses, got into our boats, 
 took hold of the tiller, pretending to steer the boat, as 
 a sailor would, and got on board of our ship, without 
 
64 
 
 exciting the suspicion of the blacks. The children 
 were put in sacks, and brought to the boats on the 
 shoulders of the sailors, as they did the marketing. 
 Those that were too young to have sense enough 
 to keep silent, while passing on board, were compelled 
 to take laudanum; a little too much of this tincture 
 was given to one of them, which caused its death : we 
 durst not take it on shore for interment, for fear of the 
 blacks finding out our smuggling proceedings, and it 
 was hove overboard, with weights fastened to it, as if 
 we had been at sea. In a day or two after it was bu- 
 ried, the sharks found it, tore the weights from it, and 
 it rose to the surface, I saw a shark when it took the 
 last mouthful of it. Its mother, at the same time, was 
 sitting on the quarter-deck ; but she did not perceive 
 what was going on with her child, neither did any one 
 tell her. 
 
 There was a ship called the Nancy, of Charleston, 
 South Carolina, ready to sail. Mr. Forbes had suc- 
 ceeded in conveying two v/hite French ladies and four 
 children into our boat in the evening, intending to con- 
 vey them on board of the Nancy ; but they were ap- 
 prehended by the relentless blacks, who were so en- 
 raged, that they threatened to take our ship, and mas- 
 sacre all hands — which they could have done, as our 
 decks were so lumbered that we were in no situation 
 for defence ; but happily the affair was hushed up on 
 our part, by the effects of money, I expect ; but the un- 
 fortunate ladies and children were massacred the next 
 day. At that time, there was a native of that island, 
 a mustee, that had command of a British frigate, called 
 the Tartar. He sailed in, and came to anchor in the 
 
65 
 
 *offing, not far from our ship. His intention was to gut 
 the emperor on board of his ship, and take him to Ja* 
 maica; as the white French residing- at that place had 
 offered $30,000 for his head. He feigned such friend- 
 ship for the emperor, that he got him on board to dine 
 with him. When the emperor got on board of the 
 Tartar, his suspicion was excited by some means, and 
 he slipped a note into the hand of one of his attendants, 
 and sent him on shore. This was done slyly, without 
 the knowledge of captain Perkins. There was a boat's 
 crew and some officers on shore, belongiiig to the Tar- 
 tar ; and the note from the emperor gave orders that 
 they should be kept in custody till he came on shore ; 
 so captain Perkins had to try some other experiment 
 for $30,000, or go without. Here again I had to suf- 
 fer the natural results of my dissatisfied disposition, 
 which never failed to cost me more trouble than gain. 
 We had a chap on board, whose mind was of a piece 
 with my own ; and we agreed to shift our situation, 
 which we could accomplish only by desertion. Our 
 plan being formed, w^e got into the small boat about 
 midnight, when we thought all were asleep. We had 
 shoved off, and were pulling for the shore, w^hen an 
 officer heard us, and tfireatened us with a musket ball, 
 but he was too late. We got on shore, and made the 
 best of our way out of the town, following the sea-shore, 
 till daybreak, when we came to a heap of bones, where 
 there had been a massacre, the flesh on them was not 
 wholly decayed ; it was a horrid sight, and a sicken- 
 in o* smell. We fell in with a few small miserable huts, 
 where dwelt some fishermen, and my consort, who 
 r^ould speak a few words of French, inquired the w^ay 
 
 5 
 
m 
 
 to the main road that led to Larkahay ; they directed 
 us, we found it, and jogged on a few miles, till we were 
 stopped by a guard of black soldiers. After a short 
 consultation among them,, w^e were compelled to follow 
 one of them through the bushes and woods, a distance 
 of about two miles, to the habitation of an old black 
 man, who must have been something in office — whe- 
 ther bishop, or deacon, I know not. He could read a 
 little; my consort showed him an American protec* 
 tion, as a pass; the old man made out the word Ame- 
 rican, which relieved him from the suspicion that we 
 were French, and he let us pass. 
 
 We travelled some distance through a pleasant vale, 
 sadly perplexed by moschetoes, till we came to a rapid 
 stream, which we durst not attempt to ford. We were 
 at a loss for some time, till there came along a man 
 with some mules, who permitted us to cross the stream, 
 each on one of his animals. Again we congratulated 
 each other with our good fortune, as we tramped on. 
 About 10 A. M., we came to where we had to ascend 
 a mountain ; and the rays of the sun being intense, our 
 thirst became almost insupportable. As we progressed 
 on the craggy side of the mountain, the sun rose to its 
 zenith, and its heat was more and more scorching. 
 Our thirst increased — not a drop of water to be found. 
 We could not leave the road, as briars and thorns ap- 
 peared to be on every thing that grew; yet the blacks 
 will race through the bush there, like hounds through 
 a pleasant meadow in the cultivated part of America. 
 I was about giving up, to lie dow^n and submit to my 
 fate, when we met a man descending the mountain with 
 a mule. My consort asked him for water; he shook 
 
0/ 
 
 his head. " May par tinne glo,^^ was his answer ; 
 that is Creole French, and signifies, "I have got no 
 water;" but he gave us half of a water melon, which 
 we accepted, feeling duly grateful. Never was any 
 thing so sweet and refreshing to my taste and desire. 
 Here let me remark, that we never are likely to ap- 
 preciate the value of a blessing, till we are deprived of 
 it: for instance, simple breathing; and it is almost as 
 bad to be deprived of water in a hot climate, exposed to 
 the scorching rays of the sun, as of breath. 
 
 We reached the summit of the mountain, and were 
 descending, w^hen we came to a running stream. I 
 lay down and drank, and was loath to leave it ; the re- 
 membiance of my suffering, but an hour before, being 
 yet fresh; but we had to travel on. At the base of the 
 mountain, we were arrested by a group of black sol- 
 diers, w^ho conducted us to the governor, at Larkahay. 
 This man w^as jet black, wore two epaulettes, tw^o gold 
 watches, and had two beautiful young mulatto waves ; 
 they appeared to me to be twins; one of them could 
 speak a few words of English ; and while I was there, 
 she sought and got an opportunity to express herself to 
 me, as being wretchedly miserable. A council of offi- 
 cers was called at tbe governor's residence. One of 
 them could read and speak a little English, and my 
 consort's American protection would not serve as a pass 
 with them ; so we were kept there under the care of a 
 sentinel, till the next day. We were permitted to view 
 the {own, accompanied by a soldier, who showed us 
 their barracks, which had been a beautiful church, but 
 had been sadly disfigured by cannon ball, and was now 
 m a ruinous condition. In this church, I was much 
 
68 
 
 affected at the sight of a large elegant painting, that 
 was hanging by one corner against the wall. It was 
 a representation of Christ, St. Peter, and the vessel ; 
 the latter attempting to walk on the water, and the for- 
 mer in the act of saving him from sinking. There 
 were many more pictures, and implements for devo- 
 tional purposes, about the church, in as proper use as 
 ever they were. 
 
 When the sea breeze came in, we were put on board 
 a small vessel, with a soldier to attend us, and sent back 
 to Port au Prince, and delivered to Pityang, a general 
 under the emperor, afterwards president of that nation. 
 As our captain soon got tidings of our arrival, we were 
 conducted on board of our ship, and the conclusion was 
 to me rather painful ; the small cords made my back 
 feel as if fire was applied. We took on board about 
 six hundred tons of coffee, which cost about one dollar 
 per hundred; and succeeded in smuggling on board 
 thirty-two white French ladies and children. It would 
 be difficult to ascertain whether Mr. Forbes rendered 
 assistance to those unhappy beings from motives of be- 
 nevolence, or gain ; as I was informed that the French 
 government paid one thousand dollars for each indivi- 
 dual thus brought away. 
 
 We shaped our course for New-York, having noth- 
 ing to fear but boisterous weather, and French priva- 
 teers ; the former we had plenty of, but luckily avoided 
 the latter. Our sturdy crew soon raised a breeze among 
 the grog-shops and dens of infamy, when we arrived. 
 It was knock down, and drag out, every thing in hu- 
 man shape that opposed or thwarted their notions. As 
 yet, I had not allowed myself to partake with them in 
 
69 
 
 their most vicious career ; I kept from debauchery and 
 inebriation. One evening, a shipmate, a young fellow 
 that boarded in the house where I did, asked me to 
 take a walk with him. I went along, having an idea 
 that he was intending to take me to some house where 
 some of our shipmates boarded. After turning a few 
 corners, I found myself within the sound of cheerful 
 music. As we drew near to a door, where all was 
 bustle and confusion within, I lagged back. My con- 
 sort perceived my timidity, and began to shame me. 
 ** What!" said he. *' You going to be a sailor, and 
 afraid to go into a dance-house ! Oh, you cowardly 
 puke ! Come along ! What are you standing there 
 for, grinning like a sick monkey on a lee backstay*^" 
 I was a coward, but did not like to be called one; so, 
 to wipe off the stain, I mustered spunk enough to en- 
 ter. The first opposition I met was a thick fog of pu- 
 trified gas, that had been thoroughly through the pro- 
 cess of respiration, and seemed glad to make its escape. 
 It was a small room, well filled with human beings of 
 both sexes. There was a big darkie in one corner, 
 sweating, and sawing away on a violin ; his head, feet, 
 and whole body, were in all sorts of motions at the 
 same time. To increase vigour, and elate the spirit 
 of fun, there stood by his side a tall swarthy female, 
 who was rattling and flourishing a tambourine Avith 
 uncommon skill and dexterity ; and to complete the 
 scene of action, there were six or eight more on the 
 middle of the floor^ jumping about, twisting and screw^- 
 ing their joints and ankles as if to scour the floor with 
 their feet. It was " Hurrah for the Sampson !" (the 
 ship I had performed the last voyage in.) There were 
 
ro 
 
 3ome drinking, some swearing-, some fighting-, some 
 singing ; some of the soft-hearted females were crying, 
 and others reeling and staggering about the room, with 
 their shoulders naked, and their hair flying in all di- 
 rections. "Ah!" thinks I; " Js this the recreation of 
 sailors? Let me rather tie a stone to my neck, and 
 jump from the end of the wharf, than associate with 
 such company as this 1" and I made a glad retreat. 
 Had I been allured into some of the more decent re- 
 cesses of debauchery, it wouJd have had a different ef- 
 fect on my mind, and most likely I should have been 
 induced to keep such company, and practise their vices, 
 sooner than I did ; but I had seen enough to last me 
 several years. 
 
 As I was rambling along the wharves one day, I 
 fell in with captain John May. This gentleman had 
 been first lieutenant of the Connecticut, the first ship I 
 sailed in from New-London. He commanded a vessel 
 then nearly ready to sail, and solicited me to go with 
 him, offering me good wages. I agreed, purchased a 
 chest, and a good stock of clothes. We set sail, and 
 proceeded to Guadaloupe. Captain May indulged m.e 
 with all I could Avish. So great was his kindness to 
 me, that those captains of other vessels who occasion- 
 ally visited ours, took me to be his son. All the ves- 
 sel's stores and provisions were committed to my care. 
 Even the mate had to ask me for any thing he wanted, 
 though it was much against his inclination ; for he was 
 jealous, and would have treated me ill, if the captain 
 had not been my friend. These things I mention, so 
 that you may understand the sad effects of misspent 
 time, and good opportunities neglected. 
 
Here again, while dcstriictire fate was severing hu- 
 man spirits from their bodies, I was permitted only to 
 view the disastrous effects, without feeling them. The 
 yellow fever was taking from American vessels about 
 twenty every twenty-four hours. This was in 1805, 
 a year to be noted for acts of vain glory; for instance, 
 the battle of Trafalgar. The French fleet ran through 
 the West Indies, taking, ransoming, and burning dif- 
 ferent places. The fleet was commanded by Jerome 
 Bonaparte. There were eighteen vessels fitting out at 
 that time at Guadaloupo, privateers, for the purpose of 
 scouring the ocean in quest of lawful plunder. We 
 got a cargo of sugar, and set sail for New- York 
 
 After encountering several tedious blasts, we made 
 the land near Sandy Hook. It was in the latter part 
 of February: the wind blew a stiff breeze from the 
 north. As our captain did not know how to take ad- 
 ^r'antage of the tide, and the pilots did not make their 
 appearance, we^ with a dozen other vessels, had to box 
 about, in sight of land, for ten days, till our vessel was 
 completely cov^ered with ice ten inches thick; some of 
 our hands were so frost-bitten, that they lost the use of 
 some of their limbs. Here again I was the lucky boy: 
 for ,my employment was to get wood from the hold, 
 keep the stove warm in the cabin, and dry the sailors^ 
 stockings and mittens. We were much rejoiced when 
 the wind backed to the westward, and permitted us to 
 sail up to the city. Captain May was eager to have 
 me abide with him, telling me I did not know when I 
 had a friend. Here he was mistaken,; I was not in- 
 sensible to his kindness, but I did not like the voyage 
 he was ^o'ms: to undertake. I told him he would get 
 
re- 
 taken by the British, and it happened so. Another 
 reason I had for leaving him was, I was then in my 
 seventeenth year, and had formed a resolution to go to 
 Connecticut, and learn a trade. 
 
 When I got to Middletown, Connecticut, I tried it a 
 spell at blacksmithing, but could not make it go good. 
 I quit it, Avent in a brig to Guadaloupe,^ and returned 
 in two months and ten days. I made another voyage 
 to the West Indies, in which nothing uncommon hap- 
 pened. At Middletown, 1 became intimately acquainted 
 in the family of an old sea captain, who had four lovely 
 daughters. One of them I regarded as the handsomest 
 and noblest of all human farms. I also had the evi- 
 dence that my regard w^as by her not slighted. As I 
 became more intimate with her, she would often ex- 
 press her desires for my promotion in life; and, with 
 cheerfulness glowing in her countenance, tell me I 
 Avas fit for something better than a common sailor. I 
 was also aware of this, and viewed the time as not far 
 ahead, when with her I should enjoy hymeneal felici- 
 ry. Her father and mother both agreed to make me 
 welcom.e; but alas t my instability led me to another 
 course^ 
 
 ^^ How have the* garlands of my childiaood withei'd,. 
 And hope's false anthems died upon the air ? 
 How like a whisper on the ineonstaut wind, 
 The mem'iJy of tost ehances stirs the mind F^ 
 
 There is so much extra labour on board those vessete 
 that export live cattle, and so much filth, that I gave 
 up sailing out of Connecticut, returned to New-York,. 
 and got on board of a Hudson river sloop, in which I 
 
73 
 
 sailed till the river froze up. I then went to school, at 
 the Burrough, Saratoga county, for two months. Here 
 I accumulated friends, by acting the part that I intend- 
 ed should be right. My brother, then about fourteen 
 years of age, was learning the blacksmithing business 
 at that village; and hearing my character extolled a 
 little by the inhabitants, he thought it was on account 
 of my being a sailor; and though I used every argu- 
 ment in my power to dissuade him from it, he would 
 be a sailor. He w^ent to New-York in the spring of 
 1806, and went to sea. I have not seen him since. 
 
74 
 
 A TOUR OF 
 
 THREE YEARS AND A HALF; 
 
 In which the author was taken by a British man-of-war — sailed 
 to Halifax, Gluebec, and London — vain career — impressed 
 into the British service — their officers intrigue to detain him — 
 he makes his escape vA the Cape of Good Hope — sails to the 
 West Indies, thence to London, Russia, and Sweden — returns 
 to London— sails from thence to tiie West Indies, and from 
 thence to Baltimore. 
 
 How false the portrait fancy does present ! 
 "We view in strife, the picture of content. 
 But who can say that earth has seen that good, 
 Which man might not make evil, il he would '] 
 
 In June, 1806, I sailed from New-York, in a brig 
 bound for France. We were captured by his Britan- 
 nic majesty's ship Driver, They sent our brig to Ha- 
 lifax, Nova Scotia, and kept us on board the Di'iver 
 a few days, while she was ranging- the ocean in search 
 of more prizes. We sailed into Hcilifax, where I was 
 permitted to go on shore. As I coiild not getachanc^^ 
 to return to the States in any vessel, and being desti- 
 tute of money, and ahriost of clothes, I shipped, and 
 went in an English brig to Quebec, and from thence, 
 in another ship, to London. As my wages in the last 
 ship had been extra, 1 had about sixty dollars when I 
 arrived at London, and might have increased m}^ store 
 by staying on board, as the captain wished me to do; 
 
but I thought I was a sailor, and should disgrace my- 
 self if I did not do as the rest did — viz. to go on shore 
 to a boarding-house as soon as the ship was made fast, 
 and the sails furled. The numerous allurements that 
 met my vision, and were so nicely arranged and cal- 
 culated to suit my desire, soon lightened my purse. I 
 found myself sad and dejected. The most bewitching, 
 soul-enchanting of all the fascinating inducements that 
 cleared the way to my sorrow, was the theatre. I 
 would have sold two meals each day, and gone hungry, 
 to procure money to get into this den of arch-mockery. 
 I sold all my best clothes, and every thing that would 
 fetch a shilling, to keep up this silly nightly career; 
 and I thought I could not go to sea, and abandon its 
 felicity. 
 
 After my chink was expended, which lasted but a 
 few da^^s, after I got on shore, my landlady began to 
 express her desire that I should look out for a berth to 
 go to sea ; and her looks were not pleasing. If I came 
 in at evening without a prospect, she was not at a loss 
 in making her mind known in plain words. Her 
 tono^ue would rattle like the wheels of a double eno-ine 
 steamboat. She was one of the sharp avaricious sort. 
 If a boarder (after his money was gone) asked for the 
 third slice of bread and butter, or cup of hot water, 
 which she termed tea, she would quick tell him he had 
 had two. It is customary for sailor boarding-house 
 Ivcepers to credit their boarders after their money is 
 gone, till they get a berth ; and then take their pay 
 out of the sailors' advance wages. It happens some- 
 times that the landlord or lady meets with loss, as some 
 give them the slip: while those that are honest often 
 
76 
 
 have to help make up the loss by being scantily fed. 
 The before-mentioned old lady was one of the right 
 cut for this business; as she could purchase half-a- 
 pound of butter on Monday morning, and have three- 
 fourths of it left on Saturday evening, for Sunday. To 
 dissolve this mystery, I will tell you how she accom- 
 plished it; she would hold the loaf in her lap, and 
 keep it partly under the table, to prevent those that 
 were sittinsf round the table from watchinsr her mo- 
 tions. Then she would take some butter on her knife, 
 and spread it on the bread so nicely, that she scraped 
 off a little more than she put on ; then scrape it into 
 the butter dish again : thus she was constantly increas- 
 ing her store, which she made use of at tea, in the af- 
 ternoon, when the boarders were not present. She had 
 a knack of cutting the bread so delicately thin, that you 
 might discern a fellow's whiskers through a slice of 
 it across the street; it only required a little more ba- 
 king to make it answer the purpose of horn for lanterns. 
 You will think it strange, if I tell you the truth ; that 
 is, after all her avarice, the old lady ended her days in 
 the alms-house. 
 
 When I could not remain any longer on shore — 
 when I could not raise a shilling to get into the thea- 
 tre, and my clothes Avere so ragged that I was ashamed 
 to appear in the street, I agreed to go up the Mediter- 
 ranean, in one of my own country ships. Though 1 
 was so indi.-^creet in my behaviour, I used no ardent 
 spirits as yet. To put me in mind of my inconsiderate 
 •foll3^ while in London, I had to endure extreme hard- 
 ships, for a long time, being buffeted about with head 
 winds, in the channel of Eno-land, for six weeks, in ex- 
 
77 
 
 ceeding cold weather, in the months of November and 
 December. 
 
 Now this was no sport — for to me it was killing; 
 1 thought of the jacket I sold for a shilling. 
 Extreme was my folly — you surely will say, 
 You had a good reason to think of the play. 
 1 thought I'd do belter, if ever I landed, 
 And not let my passions go so uncommanded: 
 But though I've been cautious in going to the play, 
 I've made up the measure in some other way. 
 
 One night, in a most severe gale, which blew so fu- 
 rious that no canvass could stand it, we were caught 
 i.n a lee shore, called Beachy Head. This is a chalk 
 cliff about 300 feet high, almost perpendicular. We 
 were cornel led to let the ship drive as wind and waves 
 directed. No efforts of our own could avail us any 
 thing; each officer, captain, and sailor, like a statue, 
 kept his place, mute, in solemn meditation, preparing 
 to meet the "king of terrors," While there is hope, 
 we are bold to extreme; but when this cheer of lifais 
 wholly obscured, and not even a hope of his return, 
 the lion becomes a lamb. The vociferous language 
 of our tyrannical, concehed captain and his mates, 
 was not heard, in this our dismal situation. How 
 soon, when the wind favoured, and abated a little, was 
 the clamour renewed; and, as we crawled from the 
 shore, it increased. We put in to Portsmouth, to re- 
 pair damages. We were boarded by a boat from a 
 British man-of-war. One of the officers swore that I 
 was an English subject; my protection was by them 
 taken from me. 
 
78 
 
 I was forc'd to compl}^ 'twas no use to deny; 
 
 No justice, but tyranny carried the sway : 
 
 I was forc'd to remain there, in sorrow and pain, 
 
 where 
 All hopes of my freedom was banish'd away. 
 
 The ship on board of which I was impressed, wa^ 
 called the Cormorant, and was one of a squadron of 
 six men-of-war, then under sailing orders, and com- 
 manded by Admiral Murray. With a dejected mind, 
 I had to commence my duty. The next morning the 
 signal was made on board the admiral ship to weigh 
 anchor, and put to sea. The wind, which had been 
 blowing for six weeks almost constantly from the 
 westward; had now shifted to the north, for a few 
 hours. Before we had sailed ten leagues, the wind 
 began to blow a stiff gale ahead; some of the ships 
 sprang their topmasts, and the signal was made to bear 
 away. So we ran back, and came to anchor. I asked 
 the captain for my protection, telling him I wished to 
 send it to the American consul at London. But he 
 bluffed me from his presence, refusing to comply. — 
 With some difficulty I obtained half a sheet of paper, 
 on which I sent a few lines to the consul, soliciting his 
 assistance in getting me clear. But the wind was again 
 fair before I got an answer ; so that, with a sad heart, I 
 was compelled to help to get the ship under w^ay; and 
 we proceeded to the Cape De Verd Islands. As the 
 Cormorant was a dull sailer, and detained the squad- 
 ron, it was our good fortune to be sent back to Eng- 
 land, where we arrived in six weeks, after a very bois- 
 terous passage. A few days after our arrival, I was 
 
79 
 
 much delighted hy receiving an answer to the letter 
 which I sent to the consul before we sailed. The con- 
 sul told me to get my protection and send it to him; 
 and if I could not get it, to write to my friends in the 
 United States, and that my letters should be forw^arded 
 free of expense. I had a protection, and had no desire 
 of remaining in bondage till letters could be returned 
 from America; so I showed the letter to the captain 
 of the Cormorant, who told the first lieutenant to tell 
 Mr. McBetii, the sailing master, (this was the officer 
 that impressed me, and had taken my protection from 
 me,) to give me my protection, adding, " he wants to 
 get clear from our service.'' This was all a scheme to 
 detain me till the ship was ready for sea. As Mr, 
 ?>'lcBeth was then on shore, I was compelled to wait, 
 under the operations of anxiety and hope, till he came 
 on board again ; which was not till the expiration of 
 three days ; when, with a renewed portion of confi- 
 dence, I asked him for my protection, telling him at 
 the same time that the first lieutenant could testify that 
 he was requested to give it to m^e. His answer was, 
 that he could not give it to me without verbal orders 
 from the captain. Hope again fled, and despair made 
 his appeaiance: for ^the captain was then on shore. 
 Thus I was humbugged, till the ship w^as nearly ready 
 for sea. It happened one day that the captain and 
 Mr. McBeih were both on board. I was called, and 
 had the pleasure of receiving my protection, which I 
 immediately sealed in a letter, and sent to the consul at 
 London. After a {e^Y days I received an answer, tell- 
 ing me to abide contented, that I should soon be free 
 from the British service. But their plan was too deep 
 
80 
 
 for me or the consul ; though the latter took my pro* 
 tection to the board of Admiralty, from whence it was 
 again sent back on board the ship, for the purpose of 
 having me thoroughly examined by it. When I was 
 in anticipation every hour, of getting my liberty, I 
 was one morning surprised by being called into the 
 ward-room, and beholding my protection in the hands 
 of the British officers. This was on Friday; and on 
 Sunday morning following, it was heart-sickening to 
 me, to have to turn to, and help to get the ship under 
 way, and make sail for a foreign station, out of the 
 reach of the consul's influence. I was afterwards in- 
 formed that my legal clearance was on board when we 
 set sail. They had another scheme to baffle the efforts 
 of the consul in getting American seamen clear from 
 their service; which was, to keep shifting the sailor 
 from ship to ship, so that the consul's letters could not 
 get to him. The ignominy of British naval officers 
 in general, was clearly developed by their practising, 
 glorying, and permitting their ships to become recess- 
 es of debauchery. There were one hundred and ten 
 males belonging to the Cormorant; and while we lay 
 at Portsmouth, there were constantly over one hundred 
 female cannibals on board. When they saw that I 
 was disgusted by their base language and practices, 
 they gave me but little rest; and sought every opportu- 
 nity to perplex me, adding grief to my sorrow. It was 
 some relief to my mind to see them compelled to leave 
 the ship, as we were getting under way ; though there 
 was lamentable howling among them, and much mois- 
 ture about the eyes and noses of some of the sailors, at 
 their departure. We had under our charge a fleet of 
 
81 
 
 transports, an expedition for the river La Plate. It 
 was bitter cold weather. I belonged to the maintop; 
 and suffered much in having- to sit two hours upon a 
 stretch, at the maintopmast head, tending a light by 
 which the fleet might see to follow us. We soon got 
 into a warm climate, and came to anchor at St. Jago, 
 one of the Cape de Verd islands. Here I attempted to 
 swim on shore in the night, a distance of two miles ; 
 but there was too much wind, and I was afraid of 
 sharks. I got into the launch under the stern, made 
 a kind of raft of the thwarts and oars ; the waves wash- 
 ed them from me; my heart failed; I got onboard 
 again, unperceived. There was no small stir and in- 
 quiry throughout the ship next morning. The query 
 was, "What has becomeof the oars and thwarts out of 
 the launch?" The conclusion was, *' Somebody has 
 stolen them while we slept;" and 1 thought I was the 
 lucky boy yet. 
 
 We set sail from St. Jago, and crossed the equator ; 
 but by the ignorance of our ofRcers, we fell to the lee- 
 ward, could not weather the east coast of South Ame- 
 rica, and had to return to the north, to take advantage 
 of the north-east trade wind. By the above manoeuvre, 
 we avoided coming into battle at Monte Video. By the 
 extra length of our passage, w^e were put on short al- 
 lowance of provisions^ vhich often made me tuink of 
 Yankee johnny-cake and hasty-pudding. I thought 
 if ever I got hom^e, in the land of my nativity, I would 
 never go farther from it than to fetch a pail of water 
 from the well. 
 
 6 
 
82 
 
 My rural home, with fertile store. 
 Was now more valued than before ] 
 And all that kept me fi'om despair. 
 Was contemplating to get there. 
 Though hard and wormy was my bread, 
 On scanty meals I daily fed ; 
 Yet bless'd with health and appetite, 
 And not of hope forsaken quite, 
 My food was better to my taste, 
 Than if I had enough to waste. 
 
 We arrived at Monte Video — overhauled and re- 
 paired the ship's rigging — cruised awhile in the river 
 La Plate — took a fleet of transports, and ships laden 
 with naval stores, under our convoy — and proceeded 
 to the Cape of Good Hope. As \ was promoted on 
 bocirdof the Cormorant, and rated on the ship's books, 
 ahU, instead o{ ordinary seaman, I think I may here 
 change the title of my narrative to " The Careless 
 Saslor." 
 
83 
 
 THE CARELESS SAILOR. 
 
 " But man was made for bustle, and for strife. 
 Though sometimes, like the sun on summer days, 
 The bosom is unruffled, yet his life 
 Consists in agitation, and his ways 
 Are through the battling storm-blasts. To erase 
 Some fancied wrong, to gain some promis'd joy, 
 To gather earthly good, or merit praise, 
 Are — and will be — the objects that employ 
 His thoughts, and lead him on to dazzle or destroy." 
 
 After boxing- and cruising^ about the Cape of Good 
 Hope for about two months, we carried away our top- 
 masts, and had to lie awhile in Simon's Bay, to refit. 
 At this place, there was a large company of men se- 
 lected from, the men-of-war, that were compelled, to go 
 on shore, and perform the most servile labour in the 
 dock-yard. It fell to my lot to make one of the num- 
 ber. After enduring as much as I thought I could 
 possibly exist under, for three weeks, constantly watch- 
 ed, harassed, and drove about by the officers, I was 
 shifted to a still more fatiguing situation. About a 
 dozen of us, from our ship, were driven, like mules or 
 asses, over a mountain, a distance of five miles, to back 
 wood for fuel. This journey we performed twice each 
 day; each man's load had to weigh sixty pounds each 
 
-84 - 
 
 trip. It was a broken, barren, uncultivated country^ 
 for sonie distance about Sinnon's Bay. We had to car- 
 ry our grub with us, and cook it among the rocks, and 
 were allowed one hour to get our dinners. My only 
 consolation consisted in getting to a distance from the 
 rest, during my dinner hour, and selecting a place be- 
 tween two hillocks or rocks; where I would lie down 
 with my face to the zenith, view the floating clouds that 
 were gently wafting in the atmosphere, and contem- 
 plate that they might be conducted over my native land. 
 
 Since then I'm doom'd this sad reverse to prove^ 
 Borne from the objects of my infant care, 
 Far distant from a tender father's love, 
 And driv'n the keenest storms of fate to bear; 
 Ye gliding clouds, the solemn news convey, 
 Inform my friends the cause of my delay ; 
 Revive their spirits by some magic art, 
 And let them know I bear an equal part ; 
 That fdial love still warms my wretched heart. 
 Though I am here, and oceans roar between, 
 I hope once more t'enjoy thy rural scene. 
 
 We were under command of a young fop of a mid- 
 shipman; and no sooner was our hour expended, than 
 I could hear his voice reverberating through the air, 
 and echoing from the adjoining hills, " Yankee Jack ! 
 where are you ?" (This w^as the name I was called 
 by on board the Cormorant, by all but the first lieute- 
 nant, and he called me Massachusetts.) " O !" says 
 one, *' he's saying his prayers." " Yes," says another, 
 " he's praying for Indian pudding and pumpkin pie." 
 " No," says a third, "he's thinking of the minister's 
 
85 
 
 daughter he left in Yankee town." I moved on, as if 
 I did not hear them. I was permitted to go on shore 
 on Sunday, to spend the day at my pleasure. While 
 others that had the same privilege were recreating in 
 the grog and wine shops, I strayed away from the vil- 
 lage alone, ascended an adjacent hill through a gully, 
 and shaped my course for Table Town, which was a 
 distance of about 28 miles. My heart enlivened with- 
 in me, with hopes of liberty ; but alas! it soon resumed 
 its usQS.1 sadness. I travelled a few miles through gul- 
 lies, between "high. cJiffo of- rockS;. without seeing a hu- 
 man being, or the appearance of any human habita- 
 tion. I sat down to rest and consider, between two 
 lofty cliffs, when I heard a rattling among the stones 
 over my left shoulder. As I raised my eyes, I beheld 
 some young wolves skipping about, apparently at play. 
 I thought the old ones ^Yere not far off, and my best 
 plan would be to leave them to enjoy their sport by 
 themselves. I took another course, and returned to 
 Simon's Bay. It would have been folly to go on, as 
 night was approaching, and the country through which 
 I had to pass was desolate of all but wild and ferocious 
 animals. When I returned, I found that I had been 
 missed, and some had been seeking for me; but they 
 did not suspect the object of my absence. 
 
 We departed from Simon's Bay with- the whole 
 squadron, consisting of eight or ten men-of-war, and 
 proceeded to Table Bay. Here again I was compel- 
 led, with many others, to work in the dock-yard. We 
 were watched so intensely by a number of officers and 
 sentinels, that no vista appeared through which I could 
 make my escape ; but the time was at hand. One day, 
 
86 
 
 I was sent on shore, as one of a boat's crew, to await 
 and fetch some officers on board ; the officers delayed 
 coming to the boat. I strayed away a distance of half 
 a mile, and fell in with some American sailors, with 
 w^hom I got into conversation, and tarried till my ship's 
 boat had gone on board. I kept out of sight, among 
 the timber that composed the wharf, (where I could 
 hear them singing out for Yankee Jack,) till late in 
 the evening, when all w^as silent, except the soft voice 
 of a young sailor, who was sitting in a boat waiting for 
 his companions, and was humming over ^cao verses 
 of a love song. . I creprfrdhl "anion g the timber, ap- 
 proached him, and made myself known to him, not as 
 a man-of-war's man, but as one that belonged to an 
 American merchant ship, knowing the name of one 
 that lay in the port and wanted hands. When his 
 companions came to the boat, they consented, and set 
 me on board of an American ship, called the Ajaria. 
 
 I had strove, but in vain, my release to obtain, 
 At length, unexpected, a vista appear'd ; 
 
 I quick did advance, by embracing the chance, 
 At last from the grasp of my tyrants I clear'd. 
 
 I must notice, as worthy of remark, that I w^as kept 
 just one year on board of the Cormorant ; as I was im- 
 pressed on Christmas-eve, 1806, and deserted on Christ- 
 mas-eve, 1807. After remaining on board the Ajaria 
 six weeks, unknown to the captain, I got on board of 
 a large merchant ship called the London, belonging to 
 London. The Cormorant went to sea on a six weeks' 
 cruise, returned, and came to anchor a short distance 
 from the London. I had been absent so long, that they 
 
S7 
 
 had no suspicion of my being so near. Capt. Menzios, 
 of the London, was very much in want of hands; yei 
 he durst not take me, unless I went on shore, and was 
 legally shipped by a magistrate. The penalty for 
 shipping a sailor without conforming to the above rule, 
 was SlOOO; this was the reason I staid so long on 
 board the Ajaria unknown to the captain. I had to in- 
 form captain Menzies that I had deserted from the 
 Cormorant; adding, "and here she is, almost along- 
 side; I might as well jump into the jawsof a shark, as 
 attempt to go on shore now m the daytime.'' His re- 
 ply was, '* I have compassion; but you know a burned 
 child dreads the fire. I have paid the bloodhounds 
 $2000 already, since I've been here, for two poor fel- 
 lows that I permitted to stow aw^ay on board here ; but 
 I'll go it-again^ go below, and keep close." We had 
 a Yankee second mate, who went to work and dug a 
 hole in the ballast, about four feet deep, tw^o feet wide, 
 and the length of a man ;. covered it with planks and 
 mats, about ten inches from the top of the ballast; then 
 'overed it again with the ballast, except a small hole 
 where I crept in; and a half barrel of pitch stopped 
 the hole, leaving a little space underneath it to admit 
 air. There were sheep, hogs, and poultry in the hold ; 
 these were drove about over my stow-hole, to make the 
 ballast appear undisturbed, likeother parts of it. When 
 we were ready to sail, there w^ere twenty soldiers aad 
 officers searching our ship from stem to stern, belov/ 
 and above, for deserters; they ran over me several 
 ^imes; I could hear them talk and heave things about. 
 Though I was surrounded in cold earth, I was wet 
 ;yith sweat.; ray^ courage could have been stowed in the 
 
till of a snuff-box. I was afraid tney would run their 
 cutlasses or swords down through my covering, but 
 they did not think of that. There were also a boat's 
 crew and some officers from the Cormorant, whose 
 voices I could clearly recognise. 
 
 It was cheering to my soul to hear the officers call 
 their men to their boats, then to feel the ship in motion, 
 and hear the water swashing along her sides and under 
 her bottom, the true tokens that she was launching ori 
 to the great deep; but still more delighting was the 
 sight, (when the second mate descended into the hold,, 
 and commanded my resurrection,); to behold the war 
 ships astern at a distance of six or seven miles, and that 
 distance increasing. Captain Menzies supplied me 
 with necessary clothing and stores. I was to have 
 seven pounds sterling per month. As seven poundb 
 per month may appear hyperbolical, I'll explain the 
 cause; which was, in wartime, when sailors were 
 scarce in foreign ports, it was a rule in the British mer- 
 chant service to give double wages; thus, if sailors 
 shipped in England for three pounds ten shillings,, I 
 could have seven pounds. We sailed before a pleasant 
 trade wind, passed the island of St. Helena, and came 
 to anchor at Ascension. This island is uninhabited; 
 and lies about 600 miles N.N.W. from St. Helena. It 
 13 a natural curiosity, its strata having the appeararice 
 of blacksmiths' cinders. Our object in stopping at As-. 
 ccnsion was to. catch tortoise far the West Tndua mar- 
 ket. To accompl^ish our design, we raised a tent on 
 shore, w^ith a sail, w^here a party of our crew had to 
 keep watch, and turn them on their backs when they 
 came on shore to lay their eggs. We got about sixty 
 
89 
 
 on board ; their average weight was about 200 pounds. 
 We got u.iider way, and went toBarbadocs, where we 
 disposed of the tortoises at fifty cents per pound. From 
 thence we ran down to St. Vincent's. Here our ship 
 was transmuted to a perfect bedlam. Our crew was 
 chiefly composed of sturdy Irishmen and black men. 
 They procured plenty of rum, and kept three sheets in 
 the wind, as the saying is ; and while in that situation, 
 they'd as lief fight as eat. I have often seen them quit 
 their grub to take a knock down : 1 had the good for- 
 tune to get clear from them, after receiving a few solid 
 thumps. 
 
 When a man-of-war was approaching, it was cus- 
 tomary for those sailors belonorino- to merchant vessels 
 lying in port, to flee to the shore, go out of the town, 
 and secrete themselves in the bushes or cane patches. 
 On one of these occasions, I had staid among the sugar 
 cane till the war ship disappeared. I came into th(> 
 town, and w^as w^aiting for the boat to come on shore. 
 This was in 1809, the time of the embargo : I was 
 seekino' for a passage to the States, but conld not find 
 one. There came along a commander of a small sloop 
 that was bound to Quebec. I thought, '' this is a good 
 chance for me to get home; I can walk from Quebec 
 to Saratoga very handy.'' No sooner thought than 
 done, as was my usual practice. Though the captain 
 of the sloop had all the hands he wanted, I went on 
 board to u^ork my passage, and lefi clothes, vragesand 
 all behind on board of the London* We got the sloop 
 immediately under way, as she was to keep company 
 with a large fleet that had already gone ahead. We 
 had a stiff breeze. The captain and his crew^ kepi 
 
90 
 
 pouring down liquor; as they were making sail, they 
 put me to the helm. By the time they had ail sail 
 set, they were so intoxicated that they all fell asleep, 
 and I had to stay at the helm the whole night. 
 
 We steered for Grenada, and had to run close under 
 the lee of the Granadella Islands, which was a great 
 hazard, as I was not acquainted with that passage. We 
 oveitook the fleet, sailed in, and came to anchor at 
 Grenada. 
 
 I went on shore, fell in with the captain of a ship 
 that was in want of hands ; he offered me 40 dollars 
 ])er month; without hesitation 1 agreed, and went on 
 board. I found that the captain under whose com- 
 mand I had placed myself, was a iirst-rate bully tyrant. 
 This fact I was soon apprised of, by seeing him chase 
 the mate about the deck with a rawhide. With this 
 instrument, he made several of the crew jump lively; 
 but somehow I got the right side of his mind, and had 
 no difficulty or fear of the lash. We had pleasant 
 \veather, plenty of work, and fev/ hands to do it, for six 
 Aveeks, when we entered the channel of England. As 
 the king's bloodhounds (officeis) were searching ships, 
 houses, and every place where they might expect to 
 jfind subjects for their master's service, it became my 
 object to keep clear of them. To do this, I had to have 
 permission fiom the captain to stow away, that is, to 
 secrete myself somewhere in the ship's hold. As I 
 had not got this permission, I kept to my duty till we 
 were off' the harbour of Dover, and the press boat was 
 approaching. My captain gave me a hint. 1 quickly 
 descended into the hold, and crept as f-ir among the cargo 
 as I could get: notwithstanding which, they v/ould 
 
91 
 
 have found me had it not been for our captain, who 
 peremptorily refused to let them have lights, and made 
 them search in the dark. They came very near, but 
 did not find me ; thus we were searched several times, 
 before we got to Gravesend. This place is nearly 30 
 miles from London. In this space, the livcr was 
 thronged with bloodhounds, ready to spring on boaid 
 and snap up every poor dog that was destitute of some 
 badge of honour. As I was one of this number, I was 
 obliged to give a man three guineas to woik for me, 
 so that I could stow away. 
 
 I had the good fortune to get safe on shore at Black- 
 wall. At this place, the press-gangs met w^ith such 
 opposition from the inhabitants, chiefly the old womjcn, 
 who frequently chased them off with aprcns full of 
 stones, that they seldom came there. Seventeen poor 
 fellows w^ere huddled into the house v^here I boarded, 
 that durst not go abroad, for fear of the press-gangs. 
 Thus confined in a free country, their chief happiness 
 consisted in sending to an adjoining tavern for rum and 
 ale. From daylight till late bed-time, the prevailing 
 query was, " Whose turn is it to send for grog?"' It 
 vvas sometimes difficult to go about the house without 
 trampling on those that lay spiawling on the floor. 
 They had cash enough. None more happy than the 
 landlord and his wife, who were fast rising from po- 
 verty to plenty; they charged exoibitantly for their 
 board, and had good commission en the liquor they 
 brought from the alehouse. They were well skilled 
 in making another's necessity their opportunity. The 
 landlord charged my comrade and me five shillings 
 each for setting us on shore f;om the ship, whin the 
 
92 
 
 regular fare was only twopence. As we were stran- 
 gers, he made us believe there was much difficulty in 
 avoiding the press-boats. He charged me five shil- 
 lings for going two miles to show m.e a place that he 
 could not find ; but he said he had kept me from being 
 impressed. He accumulated riches; but, about one 
 year after, he, and his wife, and two children, expired, 
 all vrithin the space of one month. The above is only 
 a sample of the intrigues made use of by the land- 
 sharks, to dupe the silly tar. 
 
 I wrote a few lines to the American consul, inform- 
 ing him how I made my escape from the Cormorant, 
 and what was my present situation, without a protec- 
 tion. I wns charged one dollar and seventy-five cents 
 by a man, for taking my letter four miles, to the con- 
 sul's office, and returning with my protection. The 
 man was my landlady's father; their motto was, 
 " Keep all in the family." 
 
 I had the misfortune to incur the displeasure of my 
 landlord and his flimily, as I kept my weather- eye open, 
 and sent for no liquor; but got my wages, paid my 
 board bill, purchased good clothing, and got a berth in 
 an American brig. 
 
 We sailed in company with a fleet of ships, under a 
 British convoy, bound up the Baltic. The Danes and 
 the French were on friendly terms at that time; and 
 both were at war with Britain. We had to manoeuvre 
 prett}^ nicely, to avoid the cannon balls from tlie Da- 
 nish shore. We got through the belt, and proceeded 
 to Cronstadt, in Russia. While we lay in Russia, the 
 British fleet, with the Swedes, had a destructive battle 
 vvith the Russian fleet. The latter were defeated, with 
 
93 
 
 JXreat loss. Some of their ships returned to Cronstadl, 
 besmeared with blood ; and the dead bodies were lying 
 about the decks. Our brig was thoroughly repaired 
 there; and when we got our cargoes on board, the 
 Russians clapped an embargo on all foreign vessels, 
 and we had to remain there six weeks longer. When 
 the embargo was raised, we set sail, and got our brig 
 on shore in the gulf of Finland; but were favoured 
 with light breezes from the land, which v.asthe means 
 of our sustaining but little loss. We had to put into 
 Carlscroon, in Sweedland, and wait for a British con- 
 voy. When it was ready, we sailed in their company, 
 lost the fleet, and returned to Carlscroon, where we 
 had to lie nearly a month more, till another fleet was 
 ready to sail. Vv^e again made sail for England; but 
 again were disappointed. We had constant Lead winds, 
 and the weather became so cold, that our vessel was 
 completely covered with ice; our rigging was so 
 clogged up, that we had to cut somiO of it to permit us 
 to brace the yards about. After buffeting about, with 
 much fatigue, for three weeks, in the Baltic sea, we 
 had to give it up, and bear away for Carlscroon, for the 
 purpose of wintering there. The harbour w^as frozen 
 up, and we had to cut the ice, which was ten inches 
 thick, a distance of two miles. Our brig was fast with- 
 out the help of cables and anchors, near the castle, for 
 that winter. At this time, cruel flUe was doing a great 
 work among the Swedish sailors and soldiers ; 10,000, 
 it was said, expired at Carlscroon, that winter. As the 
 earth was frozen so hard that they could not dig graves 
 without great difficulty, the dead bodies were piled up 
 in coffins by the castle, 300 in each pile; there were 
 
94 
 
 several piles. I frequently walked over them with lit^ 
 tie regard to their state, when returning- from my 
 nightly career on shore. How strange! that being- 
 familiar with death's effects should lessen our fear of 
 his terrors. When the ice was frozen far into the 
 Baltic, the Swedes put the coffins containing the dead 
 upon sleighs, dragged them a distance from the shore, 
 cut holes in the ice, took the bodies out of the coffins, 
 shoved them under the ice, and then returned with the 
 coffins to put others in. The sailors and soldiers 
 were almost in a state of starvation. Their clothing 
 appeared as if dropping from their bodies, which seem- 
 ed as if eaten to fragments by vermin. I have seen 
 one of them go into a grocery, purchase a red rusty 
 herring, begin at the head, and eat every item of it — 
 scales, entrails, rust, and all. So rapid was the conta- 
 gion, that in 48 hours after they were attacked, they 
 were dead, with not a pound of flesh on their whole 
 bodies. 
 
 " Malignant triumph fill'd his eyes; 
 ' See, hapless mortals ! see,' he cries, 
 
 ' How ^^ain your idle schemes ! 
 Beneath my grasp, the fairest form 
 Dissolves, and mmgles with the worm; 
 
 Thus vanish mortal dreams. 
 
 The w^orks of God, and man I spoil; 
 The noblest proof of human toil 
 
 I treat as childish toys : 
 I crush the noble and the brave ; 
 Beauty I mar, and in the grave 
 
 I bury human joys 1' 
 
05 
 
 On iVosly wings the demon iied, 
 Howllnfi^ as o'er the wall he sped, 
 
 And cried, ' Your time is gone !' 
 The ruin'd spire — the crumbling tower — 
 Nodding, obeyed his awful powder, 
 
 As TIME flew swiftly on." 
 
 I boarded on shore two months during that winter. 
 The Swedish girls were very kind, especially to us 
 Yankees. I was invited to dances, and attended one 
 almost every evening; but I had to pay for my fun, it 
 cost me all my wages, and two months over ; for 
 which I was compelled to serve through cold wet 
 storms, and bitter blasts, early in the spring, working 
 the vessel's way through the ice, to get out of harbour, 
 and out of the Baltic sea. When we arrived at Lon- 
 don, the balance of wages due to me was eight dollars. 
 I had been eleven months performing the last voyage, 
 
 " I thought it unjust to repine at my lot, 
 Or to bear with cold looks on the shore; 
 I packed up the trifling remnant I'd got, 
 And a trifle, alas ! was my store." 
 
 I stayed in London till I got in debt over the amount 
 of a month's advance. 1 was very fond of music, and 
 the gratifying labour of dancing. But, as yet, I did 
 not feel the need of raising my spirits with ardent. It 
 was only the cheerful association that allured my pas- 
 sions. 
 
 " And shall we kill each day? If trifling kills. 
 Sure vice must butcher! O, what heaps of slain 
 Cry out for vengeance on us 1 Time destroyed 
 Is suicide, where more than blood is spilt." 
 
96 
 
 Reluctantly I agreed, and went on board of a large 
 ship bound for Martinico. We got into the channel of 
 England, where we had to encounter a short, but tre- 
 mendous gale. We were near the Goodwin Sands, a 
 dangerous place, where many ships and lives have 
 been lost. But my time had not yet come. Though 
 the force of the wind would not permit us to set a rag 
 of sail, and we were compelled to let the ship drive, yet 
 she drove clear of the feared spot, into the North Sea. 
 Our young commander was so terrified, that he lashed 
 himself fast on the quarter-deck, turned pale, andabode 
 mute. 
 
 When the gale abated, we got the ship in order^ 
 caught a feir breeze, and in 25 days we were moored 
 in. St. Pierre's, Martinico. We had about thirty-six 
 wild fellows on board, who composed our ciew. We 
 soon had plenty of good cane juice among us; and as 
 soon all the revenge and malicious feelings that had 
 been accumulated and stored in their minds during our 
 passage from England, now became visible; and, as 
 on a previous occasion, our ship became a bedlam. — 
 To keep out of the muss, I frequently hid myself, and 
 slept whole nights in the hold. Some of our crew de- 
 serted, and seven volunteered, and went on board of the 
 Grenada man-of-war brig that was lying in the bay. 
 Among the latter was the second mate; he was a 
 Yankee, and had a wife, and some fine children, who 
 resided No, 88 Fair-street, (now called Fulton-street,) 
 New- York. Our captain desired me to take the second 
 mate's place. I did so ; but only for a short time. As 
 the American em.bargo was raised, I was looking out 
 for a chance to get home. One evening I went on 
 
97 
 
 slioie, accompanied by a small boy, to bring our cap- 
 tain on board, there were three naval officers who 
 asked our captain to let his boat set them on board 
 their ships. The captain told me I might do it if I 
 chose. After I had set the captain on board, I return- 
 ed to the beach and took in the officers. Two of them 
 we left on board the Neptune, three-decker, that lay in 
 the offing. They gave us a dollar. And the other 
 we set on hoard of the Grenada, where I had a chance 
 to converse with my silly dejected ship-mates: they 
 were sober, and would have given anything to have 
 been as well off as I was. 
 
 *' Is sorrow there, where all is fair, 
 
 Where all is outward glee? 
 
 Go, fool, to yonder mariner, 
 
 And he shall lesson thee. 
 
 Upon the deck walks tyrant sway. 
 
 Wild as his conquering wave. 
 
 And murmuring hate that must obey. 
 
 The captain and his slave." 
 
 There was a fine m.erchant ship lying in tlie bay ; 
 I knew her captain wanted hands very much. As she 
 lay not far from my course, I went alongside of her, 
 where I fell in with those before alluded to, who had 
 deserted, The mate of this ship, on hearing that I 
 was a Yankee, told me, if I wished to get home, to 
 come and add one to their number. This ship had 
 cleared out for Liverpool, in England, to satisfy law; 
 as she was laden with sugar and coffee ; but was des- 
 tined for Baltimore, in the state of Maryland, by the 
 owner. She would have been a legal priz'e to a Rri- 
 
 7 
 
9-8^ 
 
 tfsh man-of-war, had they but known this scheme. I 
 i?eturned on board, telling the boy to keep dark; for I 
 knew I could trust him. The boat had to be locked 
 with a chain, and the ke}^ deposited on the cabin table. 
 The above I performed, and then went about packing 
 i3p my luggage. I had a comrade, whom I awoke. 
 The boy insisted on going with us ; we urged him to 
 remain, but to no purpose. So we broke the chain 
 that held the boat, and w^ent along side of the Eliza, 
 the ship before mentioned. The next query was, what 
 to do with the boat that I had taken from the other 
 ship. I soon formed and executed a plan. I skulled 
 her to the beach, and tied her to an anchor. It was 
 my intention to swim to^ the Eliza; but my courage 
 failed, for fear of the sharks. I found a small canoe, 
 got on board in it, and shoved it adrift. The next 
 morning I saw a boat belonging to the Neptune, 98 
 gun ship, towing the little canoe to the shore; they 
 had picked it up, little suspecting how it got adrift. 
 Our crew had a hearty laugh about my making the 
 king's officers my servants. 
 
 We set sail, and were chased by several men-of- 
 war. But our ship sailed too swift for them, and we 
 arrived safe at Baltimore. I was taken sick on our 
 passage, and w^as scarcely able to walk w^hen we ar- 
 rived. My disease was something uncommon. I went 
 to several physicians at Baltimore, but to little purpose. 
 By vv^ay ojf Philadelphia I went to New^-York, where 
 I found my father. I had not seen him during the last 
 five years. He put me in mind that I was not one-and- 
 twenty yet— that I had better go home with him and 
 try to get a living on land. I would have readil^^com- 
 
plied with his request, but as little thought I could goi 
 a living on the shore, as that I could stop the moon. 
 1 still retained my disease, and was not able to work. 
 The physicians told me I had better go to the hospital. 
 My disease was at the pit of the stomach ; and it was 
 a case they were not familiar with. I was admitted 
 into the hospital on Tuesday, in the forenoon, and about 
 1 o'clock in the afternoon of the same day, there was 
 a young man brought into the ward where I was quar- 
 tered, upon a bier; he was asleep, and breathed so 
 hard that he might be heard some distance. He was 
 picked up in the street. The doctors came and stood 
 around him in solemn meditation and consultation. 
 They knew not what to do. He began to gurgle in 
 his tKroat, when he had been in the hospital about an 
 hour. The blood began to flow from him both w^ays. 
 He continued bleeding till the next morning, and three 
 pails were filled with his blood. His couch was so 
 besmeared w^ith clotted blood, that it might be said he 
 was soaking in his gore: there was also a puddle on 
 the floor. He expired about eight o'clock in the morn- 
 ing — a lamentable sight to behold. 
 
 The cause of this fatal disaster was nothing more 
 than carrying a joke too far. He had recently return- 
 ed from Baltimore, where he had been for some time 
 at work. A young lady met him, and told him that 
 his intended bride was wedded to a sailor ; and she 
 contrived so as to tell his sweetheart, before he saw^ 
 her, that she had seen him, and also what she had said,^^ 
 adding, " Now w^hen he comes, you stick to it that it 
 is so." He came, and his intended received him with 
 cool indifference. He thought of what the young lady 
 
100 
 
 had told him on his arrival. Fear, jealousy, suspicioijij 
 and despair, the fittest implements of evil, began to 
 work in his breast. Little did she think how tender a 
 cord she was touching, when she told him it was true 
 that she was indeed the bride of another. He did not 
 rage — his melancholy was too deep, and of a different 
 nature. If he could have wept, or given vent to his 
 feelings, probably the consequences w^ould not have 
 been so fatal. His melancholy was of that kind that 
 does not exhibit itself. Therefore his intended did 
 not perceive it when he left her. He went into a drug 
 store in Broadway, purchased about six cents worth of 
 corrosive sublimate, and went into the street. He then 
 entered another drug store, and got 25 cents vyorth of 
 laudanum ; these potions he swallowed. I have told 
 you the effects. His sweetheart, on hearing of his 
 late, came to the hospital, accompanied by her mother, 
 and on beholding the effects of her folly, went into fits 
 of distraction, and would have put an end to her exis- 
 tence, had she not been prevented. Her lamentations 
 were dolorous beyond description. It was indeed a 
 heart-rending scene. 
 
 ♦' Away ! away ! I cannot bear 
 To gaze upon thy face; 
 Thy beauty brought me to despair — 
 Thy coldness to disgrace. 
 
 " Away ! nor tempt me to uplift 
 
 The veil that shrouds my soul : 
 The dismal gloom I cannot shift — 
 Nor passion can control 
 
101 
 
 *' Away ! you may not Jove me now — 
 The blighted and the sere — 
 Nor shall the gall from broken vow 
 Be sw^ecten'd by a tear. 
 
 *' Oh God! I would my heart were cold — 
 My bosom bared in death ! 
 My sorrows, then, were sooner told, 
 Than by my struggling breath. 
 
 ^' Away ! away ! my brain is wild — 
 My soul is dark in gloom ; 
 O death, I come — thy weary child ! 
 Despair! O God f the tomb!" 
 
 I vras examined by a company of physicians. My 
 case was an odd one; but they concluded not to try any 
 experiments upon me — as I was young, and they 
 thought I might be useful. I left the hospital, after 
 staying one week, though I was not quite well, and 
 got a berth in a ship called the Flora, bound to St. 
 Bartholomew. We had arrived, and commenced dis- 
 charging our cargo, at our destined port, when, one 
 evening, our crew (myself excepted,) were all in un- 
 common high glee — drinking, and sky larking at a 
 great rate. As it regr.rds my habits, I was yet sober- 
 minded. My mind, on this occasion, was impre«^sed 
 with something like this: 
 
 The blissful spell of gay career, 
 
 May soon be changed into fear ; 
 
 And when the prospect shines most brighi. 
 
 There oft ensues^ a dismal nio-ht. 
 
102 
 
 We had but cleverly got asleep, when the weir- 
 known and unwelcome alarm w^as given, by three 
 heavy thumps with a handspike, on the deck, just over 
 our heads, accompanied by the sharp thrilling voice of 
 the mate, like the yell of an Indian war whoop. " All 
 hands! all hands 1" was the cry. "Bear a hand up, 
 bear a hand up." There was scrabbling among the 
 sailors. Ah! the dismal scene that met mj?- vision, as 
 I poked my head through the scuttle, ascending on 
 deck. Little did we expect that so horrid a night would 
 so soon ensue. The wnnds blowing with amazing vi- 
 gour — the disquieted waves rushing and roaring with 
 impetuous fury — the glaring lightning flashing over 
 the whole heavens — the broken clouds pouring out 
 floods of water — and the rolling thunder echoing the 
 majesty of the Eternal through the conscious void — all 
 made up an awful scene. The contrast betw^een light 
 and darkness was strikingly exhibited in rapid suc- 
 cession. One instant, it was as light as noonday — the 
 next, we were enveloped in Egyptian darkness. One 
 of our cables parted, and the ship swung to the other, 
 which brought her foul of two other vessels, while an- 
 other was just ahead of us. Our cable w^as under her 
 bottom, and of course in the act of being chafed in two, 
 though it held on till the next day. The sky became 
 clear, but the wind continued as if to try its strength. 
 Our cable parted, and we attempted to make sail, in 
 the hope of getting out to sea, and out of danger ; but 
 our efforts were ineffectual. Our captain, by holdings 
 on too long to a halser, thinking to save it, and the an- 
 chor that was attached to it, lost the ship. She struck 
 on the rocks with a terrible crash, and bilged imme- 
 
103 
 
 cliately ; the third stroke she gave, the keel was lloat- 
 ing alongside ; the sea was breaking over the ship from 
 «tem to stern, so that when I caught hold of any thing 
 to hold on as it approached, I was washed out as straight 
 as a dishcloth. We cut away the mainmast, thinking 
 to get on shore on its wreck. It fell in such a direc- 
 tion as to prevent the accomplishment of our object. I 
 swam on shore, to take the end of a small rope, by 
 w^hich many things were hauled to the shore by the 
 inhabitants, who were collected in great numbers on 
 the rocks. We saved all but the ship and cargo. I 
 got on board a schooner, w^ent to Virginia, and thence 
 to New- York. 
 
 Now comes on an account of the commencement of 
 my extra vicious life. 
 
 1 had a letter from the second mate of the Flora, to 
 deliver to a dame that resided with the celebrated 
 'French Johnny, who kept a dance-house in a street 
 then called George's, now Market. I rejoiced in having 
 •this opportunity and excuse to visit this place of recre- 
 ation, as I had often heard its merits spoken of by sailors, 
 J found the house:; it was beset without by a multitude 
 of the baser sort of young people. " These," thought 
 I, " are the fag-end of creation," as I forced my way 
 among them to the door, feeling as if my object was 
 noble. The door was closed, and kept so by a man 
 with a chain. For a shilling I was permitted to pass 
 in. Never w^as there a greater invention contrived to 
 •captivate the mind of a young novice, than presented 
 itself on my entrance. A spacious room, illuminated 
 with glittering chandeliers hanging in the centre, and 
 lamps all around ; three musicians on high seats, well 
 
skilled in using their instruments; about fourteen (ap- 
 parently) damsels, tipped off in fine style, whose syco- 
 phantic glances and winning smiles were calculated 
 only to attract attention from such as had little wit, and 
 draw irjoney from their pockets; and I was just tho- 
 man This was felicity indeed. 
 
 So I spent my money while it lasted, 
 
 Among this idle, gaudy train ; 
 When fair elysian hopes were blasted, 
 
 I shipped to sail the swelling main. 
 
 The inducements of the above described den oi in- 
 famy were so captivating to my silly mind, that I gave 
 loose to the reins of self-government, and fell in with 
 their practices, not without some reluctance, especially 
 to their base language. A glass of hot punch was only 
 25 cents: it was sweet, and not very strong: and by 
 sipping a little pretty often, I soon got so that it tasted 
 good. But alas ! my race w'as short: for 
 
 When madam finds Jack's money's gone. 
 
 To him she tells her mind : 
 Saying, " My dear,, you must away, 
 V More mon.ey for to find, 
 
 " You know it well, my dear," she says, 
 
 "There's charges on the shore: 
 It grieves my heart that w^e must part, 
 
 Perhaps to meet no more," 
 
 I shipped in the fall of 1809, in a fine brig, bound 
 (as the captain said) to Portobello, cleared out from 
 New-York to Amboy, New-Jersey ; this, was a plan 
 
105 
 
 to dupe the custom-house officers at the latter place, as 
 they could not be so easily blinded at New-York. 
 Our cargo consisted of arms, stores, ammunition, and 
 provisions, for the St. Domingo market. 
 
 The landlords in New- York had made an arrange- 
 ment among themselves, to stand security only to see 
 their boarders on board of the ship or vessel in which 
 the sailor had agreed to go ; \vhereas, previously, it had 
 been the custom for the landlords to give security that 
 the sailor should proceed to sea. Our captain had lost 
 a whole crew of twenty-four hands, each having re- 
 ceived his month's advance, amounting to about 8700. 
 Availing themselves of the virtue of the last arrange- 
 ment of their landlords, they fastened the cabin doors, 
 so that the mate and steward could not get on deck to 
 oppose them: then hoisted out the long-boat, put their 
 chests in her, and went on shore. They had only to 
 keep out of sight till our brig had sailed, when they 
 could take a month's advance from some other ship. 
 J was sorry for not having been one of them. Yv"h&t 
 a cruise I would have had when the brig was gone, 
 among my souFs delights at French Johnny's! But 
 alas ! these reflections were of no use. My landlord had 
 given security (as was the case v\^ith the rest of our pre- 
 sent crew,) that we should proceed to sea; and our of- 
 ficers, having been once burned, kept a good look out 
 for us. We had plenty of liquor on board. Some of 
 my shipmates that were wdth me in the Flora, that was 
 cast away, were on board of this brig also: they had 
 observed in the last ship, that I never drank my allow- 
 ance of grog, and were constrained to mark the won- 
 derful change : for now I was first in every tin pot that 
 
106 
 
 liad grog in it. I was oftera so affected with liquor, 
 that they had to tie me fast to keep me from jumping 
 overboard, or killing myself or some one else. I per- 
 mitted my passions to drive me to these extremes, by 
 contemplating too much on a damsel with whom I had 
 associated at French Johnny's ; and surely she was 
 worthy the attention of any decent young man. A 
 ■sketch of her biography may not be uninteresting. 
 
 The w4fe of the celebrated French Johnny was a 
 high dame in her appearance, and in her own estima- 
 tion. She frequently made trips to Boston and Phila- 
 delphia, for the purpose of selecting such young fe- 
 males as would best suit her market and avocatio^n. 
 As she was returning from Philadelphia on one of 
 these excursions, she put up at a grand house in Bor- 
 dentown, in which the girl above alluded to was a 
 hired attendaiit. The lofty Mrs. Johnny appeared to 
 kev as a lady of the first quality, and her demeanour 
 was such, that she had no suspicion of her character. 
 Mrs. Johnny watched her opportunity, and got her into 
 conversation. After an introduction, she lengthened 
 ■ber thread by prying into her circumstances, asking 
 what amount of wages she received. On being in- 
 formed, she made some remarks, told her she wanted 
 a chambermaid, and made her an offer of great wages. 
 The poor girl was captivated, and rejoicing within 
 berself, she consented, left her place^and accompanied 
 the old bawd to New- York. As it was in the night 
 when they arrived, the girl was conducted to a decent 
 room, where she was kept all the next day, the old 
 bawd frequently visiting and treating her with attention 
 and kindness. Thus the old woman feed her with flat- 
 
107 
 
 tery for several days, when she introduced a young man 
 to her, telling" her he was her only son, and begging 
 her to treat him with kindness and respect, at the same 
 time presenting her wnth a bottle of wine and some 
 confectionarics. Thus she was first duped, then yield- 
 ed, being far from home, and without money or friends. 
 This is the narrative she related to me in candour, and 
 she often expressed her disgust at the practices exhi- 
 bited in the house where she reluctantly resided ; she 
 had hopes that I would take her out of it. 1 heard af- 
 terwards, that she learned to drink and swear, and died 
 v/retched in Philadelphia. 
 
 We sailed from Sandy Hook on the 2d day of Ja- 
 nuary, and on the 10th of the same month, our vessel 
 was moored in Port au Prince, where she was sold to 
 the blacks for $48,000. She was fitted out for a man- 
 of-war, and called the Flambeau. Our merchant pur- 
 chased another brig, in which I went to Am.elia Island, 
 Here was a large number of British merchant vessels, 
 very much in want of hands, f shipped as boatswain 
 of a large fine ship, for §50 per month, and went to 
 Liverpool, in England. As we had a long, tedious 
 passage, I went on shore before the ship was hauled 
 into dock, put a few dollars in my pocket, and started 
 for the theatre. The next morning, as I was passing 
 the old dock, on my way to my boarding-house, I was 
 accosted by a rough-looking set of fellows, who wished 
 to know what countryman I was. I told them very 
 candidly I was an American : they demanded my pro- 
 tection ; I let them see it, but kept hold of one corner 
 of it. They then compelled me to go with thtm to the 
 rendezvous, where I was locked into a room up two 
 
108 
 
 pairs of stairs, and had the company of ten or a dozen 
 of my own sort, though not all Americans. I was 
 thoroughly examined by some naval officers, who 
 thought best to let me go at liberty. I carried all sail 
 and flying colours for about three months. 
 
 Cold storms, hard fare, and bufleting weaves, 
 
 I quickly then forgot; 
 Roast turkies, and pies, and all the heart craves, 
 
 Were every day brought hot. 
 The table was clear'd, and the music did play, 
 Time flew on the pinions of pleasure each day; 
 My money refus'd in my pocket to stay; 
 My landlady smiPd, when to me she did say, 
 " Poor fellow! jolly bold fellow^! 
 Learn to be sober and wise." 
 
 After spending a few weeks with little or no money 
 in my pocket, in which I had more pleasure than while 
 money lasted, I got a berth as second mate of a ship 
 called the Mary Ann, bound to Parim.aribo, in Suri- 
 nam. We had a pleasant passage. Our captain was 
 a haughty young man, about my age, and w^e became 
 very intimate. He took much delight in teaching me 
 the art of navigation ; but a circumstance occurred that 
 put a period to our fi-iendship. Our captain had been 
 a naval ouicer, and attempted to keep up man-of-war's 
 rules on board our ship; this did not suit the minds of 
 ©ur creu^ ; and in endeavouring to cpiell them., a fracas 
 ensued, in which the captain beat some of the sailors 
 most unmercifully. Myself, vvHih the chief mate, per- 
 ceiving- the injustice of the captain, did not interfere; 
 and of course were reproved by the captain. Though 
 
109 
 
 I did not justify the crew in their presence, I did ulicr- 
 wards to the captain by himself. He became my ene- 
 my, and used every opportunity to abuse me. 1 went 
 to the governor of Surinam for redress, but finding none 
 to my satisfaction, I left my ship, and lost all my cloth- 
 ing. This was a hard one for me, as I had accumu- 
 lated an extra good lot of clothes and bedding. I got 
 on board of a schooner, and worked my passage to 
 Baltimore, during which I suffered greatly with cold, 
 as it was in November. If I had governed my tongut', 
 and minded my own business in the last ship, I should 
 have avoided much difficulty. Though I regretted 
 the loss of my clothing, my grief was small, compared 
 with the downheartcdness I endured, for want of cash 
 to keep up the glory at the dance-houses ; and so fasci- 
 nated was my foolish passion, that I would go in my 
 old patched sailor dress, and get into one corner of the 
 ball-room, where my sorrow would be extremely ex- 
 cited, that I could only be a spectator. Sometimes, 
 when by some means I got a dollar or two, my life 
 would come to me ; but alas ! how short lived was the 
 elysium ! Like the morning cloud and the early dew, 
 It soon passed away. 
 
 When fir^t I took to drinking, 
 
 I thought it was no harm; 
 It seem'd a silly pleasure, 
 
 That did me not alarm : 
 But soon the vile temptation 
 
 Had gain'd the victory ; 
 I had no inclination 
 
 For sober company. 
 
no 
 
 Fox fifteen years, and over, 
 
 I carried on the sway ; 
 I seldom had a garment, 
 
 Was fit to cast away: 
 
 My money, while it lasted, 
 
 Was liberal and free ; 
 And when it was exhausted, 
 
 For more I plough'd the sea. 
 
 Yes, candid reader ! you may wonder when I tell 
 you that I have many times, after spending my hard- 
 earned cash in the most exiguous way,, gone on board 
 to commence a voyage, without bed or blanket, or a 
 change of raiment. Was I a fool when on board, and 
 sober? As it regarded my object, I was, but not at 
 my duty. For many months, I have had no other 
 lodging than the soft side of a chest-lid ; and when the 
 watch or all hands was called, springto thedeck, night 
 or day, and face the weather. Sometimes the fleecy 
 snow* the pelting hail, or sleet ; at others, pouring cold 
 rain ; at others, the dry whistling wind, that caused the 
 billows to break over the labouring ship.. Sometimf s 
 forced to reef and bend the heavy canvass, which had 
 been wet with rain, and made stiff like a board with 
 frost; then, if permitted to go below, lie down on a 
 chest in my vv^et clothes, and while shivering with cold, 
 contemplate the anticipated momentary pleasures of a 
 dance-house. It is the delight of a sailor, in his night 
 watches on deck, in pleasant weather, to get under the 
 lee of the long-boat, or walk the deck; and how many 
 hours have I spent in this way, with my mind wholly 
 employed in reckoning up the sum my wages would 
 
Ill 
 
 amount to at the end of the voyage, and building casth s 
 imaginary for felicity on shore. Thus the prime of 
 life passed away, while, unperceived, I was approxi- 
 mating the shades of age and lamentation. I shall omit 
 the particulars of two years, only stating it in general 
 terms as folly. 
 
 A REMARKABLE ADVENTURE. 
 
 IMPRESSMENT AND DESERTION. 
 
 Once more I wander through the busy street,. 
 But not a friend that does my coming greet y 
 I am forgotten ! Time and care destroy 
 The lightsome glee and aspect of the boy. 
 
 Ix August, 1811, I was in London. After sporting 
 my money out of my reach, as usual, though it was 
 hard times among sailors, there being great numbers 
 of foreigners in that city ; it w^as my good fortune to 
 get a berth as boatswain of a large armed ship. 
 
 We proceeded (o Tenerifie, got a cargo of wine, 
 and shaped our course for Barbadoes, sold part of our 
 cargo, and sailed to Kingston, Jamaica, where I was 
 again impressed, and forced to go on board of his Bri- 
 tannic majesty's ship Prometheus. The yellow^ fever 
 began to rage among our crew, and I did not escape. 
 While I ^vas sick the ship sailed to the Spanish m^ia,. 
 
112 
 
 during* which time I was some time delirious; but I 
 got well, and, instead of the yellow fever, the ague and 
 fever seized me, and our ship proceeded to the Bay of 
 Honduras. I, with six or seven others, was sent to 
 the hospital, on shore. My heart swelled with joy for 
 the prospect this circumstance presented for my escape. 
 The hospital was a frame building, with no wall 
 around it; but a sentinel stood before the door ; and it 
 stood about a quarter of a mile from the town. When 
 we entered the hospital, we were each presented with 
 a suit of light apparel. I began to despond, thinking 
 they would take my ov/n clothes in their custody, and 
 thus prevent my escape. How ready discouragements 
 are to make their appearance! I retamed my clothes, 
 however. While I remained in the hospital my mind 
 was in constant agitation, contriving some v/ay to es- 
 cape. I got information that the sentinel did not re- 
 main by the hospital at night, but was removed some 
 distance to a battery near the sea-shore. This tidings 
 was to me joyous. I had remained there about four 
 days, when, one night, after all had got asleep, I ven- 
 tured to put my own clothes on. There were several 
 patients in the room where I slept, and a light burn- 
 ing. I succeeded in getting out of a window, and 
 made the best of my way to the town, to the river side, 
 I found a canoe among many others, which were all 
 locked, full of mahogany chips and water. I soon 
 contrived to break the chain, as I was destitute of oars 
 or paddle, I found a bit of plank, that I concluded must 
 . ansv/er my purpose. As I proceeded down the small 
 river, I w^as somewhat troubled, having to get out into 
 the water, up to my middle, as the mud was soft, to 
 
il3 
 
 shove the canoe off on the mud flats. When I got in- 
 to the roadstead I endeavoured to get on board of an 
 American brig that lay there, thinking that they would 
 assist me to some provisions and fresh water ; but the 
 wind blew towards the shore, and I could not reach 
 her. While I was worrying along, and shoving the 
 canoe from the mud flats, (for the wind Vv^as too strong 
 for me,) I had an attack of the ague, and after it the 
 fever. I could not stand it; and as I had thrown out 
 all the chips, and bailed out the water with one of my 
 shoes, I took my tarpawling hat for a pillow, lay down 
 in one end of the canoe, and fell asleep, I was awa- 
 kened by the daylight gun on board of the Promethe- 
 us, which lay the outside ship in the roadstead. The 
 wind had shifted and blew from the land, and was 
 driving me directly to sea. I began to be in much fear, 
 as the day approached, that the officers on board of the 
 Prometheus would discover me; for they are always 
 provided with the best of spy-glasses. To prevent 
 them, I took a black silk handkerchief from my neck, 
 put it over my head and face, put my hat on, kept my 
 back towards the ship, and let the canoe go right be- 
 fore the wind. I thought, if they discovered me, they 
 would conclude I was a negro going a fishing. About 
 mid-day I drew^near a small island that appeared as if 
 it was inhabited. But when I landed, I found nothing 
 that was human, but the remains of a habitation, and 
 some old broken canoes, from which I got a drink of 
 rain w^ater. I started for another island, that appeared 
 to be at a distance of about ten miles ahead ; there was 
 a small island on my left, that was nearer, but I did 
 not think it was inhabited; when I got abreast of it, I 
 
114 
 
 found my mistake. I strove to head my canoe for if, 
 but the wind was so strong as to prevent me. I had 
 given it up, and was shaping my course for the large 
 island, when I perceived a sm.ali canoe coming towards 
 me from the small island on my left. As she approach- 
 ed, I saw there were three persons in her. My fears 
 began to arise, lest they should apprehend me, and 
 convey me back to the man-of-war ; but as they drew 
 near, 1 perceived that two of them were females. As 
 they came alongside, the man, perceiving that I was 
 all of a tremble, clapped his hand on my shoulder, as 
 he sprang into my canoe, saying, " Don't be afraid, 
 my good fellow! nobody will hurt you here." These 
 cheering words quickly reversed the position of my 
 spirit, and the two females, with their paddles and little 
 canoe, spun their thread to the shore, while the man 
 and myself followed after. I found a good habitation 
 and civil treatment on this small island, but it was not 
 more than twenty miles from the ship I had deserted 
 from, and I was in danger, as boats from men-of-war 
 frequently came off to this island to purchase tortoise; 
 so I availed myself of the first chance to get farther 
 away. I got a passage down the coast, in a small 
 sloop, to a place called Monkey River, about 130 miles 
 distant from the Prometheus : here 1 remained with a 
 civil old Scotchman until the Prometheus sailed. Du- 
 ring all this time I was afflicted with the ague and fe- 
 ver. When I got the news that the man-of-war had 
 gone, I began to look out for a passage up to the set- 
 tlement, where the shipping lay. There came along 
 a large canoe, with six blacks and about a dozen large 
 tortoise in her, and I got a passage with them througl^ 
 
115 
 
 the influence of the old Scotchman that I had been re- 
 siding with. As we set sail, we had a slant of wind 
 that caused us to stretch some distance from the land; 
 we had to down sails, and take to our paddles, and piHl 
 towards the shore, against a stiff breeze; it began to 
 rain, and was chilly. At this critical time, the ague 
 came on me, but I had no retreat ; paddle I must ; and 
 as I was not used to it, and rather awkward, I had to 
 bear the taunting insults of the negroes. After pulling 
 against wund and rain, and the sprays of salt water fly^ 
 ing over us, about ten miles, we landed at a miserable 
 habitation, where I had to coil down on a trunk, in my 
 wet clothes, the remainder of the night. The blacks 
 kindled a large fire in the open air, around which they 
 danced and sang till their clothes were dry ; and as it 
 had. ceased raining, they lay down and slept till morn- 
 ing. I would gladly have shared w^ith them, but as I 
 knew I should have been an unwelcome guest, I kept 
 from them. But the benefit t)f this tedious task was not 
 small — no less than getting clear of the fever and ague. 
 As there was no travelling by land along this coast, 
 but in vessels, canoes, or boats, our lodging and fare 
 were much the same as the first each night, until we 
 reached the settlement, paddling each day about thirty 
 miles, with the wdnd constantly ahead. 
 
 After working some time for my victuals, from one 
 vessel to another, I obtained permission, and worked 
 my passage in a sloop to Philadelphia. This was in 
 March, 1812. I went to Boston, and shipped as quar- 
 ter-master on board the United States ship John Adams. 
 In June, you know, the war was declared against 
 Britain. Our ship proceeded to New- York. After a 
 
116 
 
 few months, I got liberty to go on shore, and was sadly 
 disappointed at finding the one on whom I had placed 
 my greatest affection bound to another man ; but she 
 was not to blame, as I had not revealed my mind to 
 her previously. 
 
 If she had but known that I lov'd her before — 
 (Oh ! why was I backward in opening my mind?) 
 
 Had I but inform'd her, when I was on shore, 
 I am sure unto me she'd not prov'd so unkind. 
 
 I suppose you will tell me to seek for some other. 
 But where can I find one my passion to quell? 
 
 I may search this wide world quite over and over, 
 But never can find one that I love so well. 
 
 With myself I was vexed, and sorely perplexed, 
 To think I had lost the once pride of my heart: 
 
 But since it's too true, I will bid her adieu ; 
 So farewell for ever, for now we must part. 
 
 When I weot on shore from the John Adams, I had 
 no intention of deserting her ; but the above-mentioned 
 circumstance wrought so hard on my mind, that I tra- 
 velled off in deep reflection, leaving all behind, and 
 arrived at New-London, where it was my good fortune 
 to be promoted to the station of gunner of a privateer, 
 called the Joel Barlow. While fitting out this vessel, 
 a circumstance took place that nearly cost me my life. 
 I was induced by some of my fellow officers to accom- 
 pany them to a frolic, where I got into conversation 
 with a young woman, just to carry on the fun, who 
 happened to be the wife of an Italian — one of the jeal- 
 sOUs, blood-thirsty sort ; the idea of her having a husband 
 
117 
 
 had not entered my mind ; but his cruel jealousy ex- 
 cited his rage so that he sought an opportunity, and 
 stabbed me — for which offence he was sent to state 
 prison for seven years. His wife's father and mother 
 were his most inveterate enemies, and said many hard 
 things against him in court. It weis my desire to let 
 him go at liberty in the morning after the deed was 
 done,, but his friends (if I may so term them) would 
 have him off to jail- 
 There have been many gallant and noble exploits 
 left on record, of battles fought by our American pri- 
 vateeis, some of which are worthy of notice in the an- 
 nals of devilish integrity and vain glory ; but records 
 of our cruise in the Joel Barlow, I think, will convey 
 a repugnant sentiment. We made sail on a cruise 
 among the West India islands ; but our brave com- 
 mander, first lieutenant, and sailing-master, were so 
 terrified with fear (and who can blame them?) of 
 losing their lives or liberty, that every vessel was in 
 their estimation a powerful enemy; and of course, the 
 farther we kept from them, the better they were suited. 
 One morning before daylight, however, we got so close 
 to a small schooner, that they could not well avoid 
 overhauling her; she was about 25 tons. Says our 
 brave captain, "By zounds! we'll have her!" She 
 proved to be a droger, laden with Indian corn, to re- 
 lieve the craving appetite of the half-starved negroes 
 suffering on some plantation. How their hunger was 
 alleviated I know not, but I expect they were much dis- 
 appointed ; for our brave captain ordered her to be 
 scuttled, and had the pleasure of seeing her go down. 
 What littleness of mind does the spirit of war excite in 
 
118 
 
 some men, who fain would be considered as noble 
 characters ! 
 
 After a two months^ cruise, we returned to New- 
 London with a prize, a brig of 60 tons, in ballast; the 
 sailors mocked our captain, calling him the captain of 
 the sawdust privateer. I then went as gunner on board 
 of the Teazer ; she had previously been very success- 
 ful in the art of plundering, but I had no lot nor part 
 in this business; for we had been but four days at sea» 
 when we were captured by his Britannic majesty's 
 ship St. Domingo, commanded by sir John B. Warren. 
 Our vessel was destroyed by fire, and we were con- 
 veyed to Bermuda, put on board of a prison ship, and 
 detained on hard fare and short allowance for three 
 months. We should have been kept longer, and per- 
 haps, like many other prisoners, sent to England; but 
 the British wanted the men that were captured by De- 
 catur in the Macedonian, so they fitted out a quartel and 
 sent us to the States. I concluded to quit privateering, 
 not because 1 disliked the principle, but because I was 
 not fortunate. I went four voyages in merchant ves- 
 sels — two to Portugal, and two to the West Indies. 
 As I was in New- York in the summer of 1814, when 
 there was a famous privateer fitting out, called the 
 General Armstrong, I concluded to try my luck in her. 
 We proceeded to sea, and after chasing vessels, and 
 being chased by several British war ships, in seventeen 
 days we came to anchor at Fayal, where, the first 
 night, we were blockaded by three British men-of-war, 
 a brig of 22 guns called the Coronation, a frigate of 
 48 guns called the Deruyter, and a 74 gun shipcalled 
 the Plantagenet. We had 7 guns, and 93 men and 
 
119 
 
 'boys. After three battles, in which we had two killed 
 and eight or ten wounded, we bloweda plank from the 
 bottom of OUT vessel, and evacuated her; the British 
 took possession of her, and burned her remains. The 
 British loss, by information from their own officers, 
 was 211 killed and wounded. After being- provided 
 for by the American consul on the island two months, 
 he procured a vessel, and sent us to Amelia Island. 
 Nine miles from thence, at St. Mary's, I shipped in the 
 United States service, as boatswain of Gun Boat No. 
 63. Peace was proclaimed the next spring, and as the 
 squadron of gun boats lay at Savannah, myself and four 
 others cleared out, and tramped to Charleston, South 
 Carolina. After a fortnight's foolish career at the lat- 
 ter place, I got a berth as boatswain of a large ship 
 bound to Holland, called the Rufus King. 
 
 When we arriv'd in Holland, 
 
 It was my first delight ; 
 The ship was scarcely moor'd, when 
 
 On shore I went that night; 
 In dancing and carousing, 
 "-' I pass'd away my time, 
 
 Till daylight in the morning, 
 
 Not thinking of my crime. 
 
 In Holland I got myself into a hobble, through my 
 foolish wickedness, that lasted four years. The inci- 
 dents were these: myself and two of my shipmates 
 had been sporting in a dance-house one night till late. 
 As we were returning to the ship, we staggered in,to a 
 a house-yard, stumbled over some furniture, kettles, 
 mhs^ &c , and for revenge, or to serve the devil oux 
 
120 
 
 master, we took each of us a load By some means 
 we were traced out, and a guard sent to apprehend us. 
 When the soldiers came to arrest us, I had just awoke 
 from a snooze I had been taking, while the impetuous 
 workings of too much gin were subsiding in my sys- 
 tem. They succeeded in getting us out of the ship or 
 to the quay, and surrounded us. I cast a wishful eye 
 towards a gin shop not far distant ; I really imagined 
 that I wanted some. As I slipped from among the 
 soldiers, and started for the desired dram, the group of 
 sailors (that had collected from the different vessels on 
 the occasion) began to stone the soldiers, who had to 
 retreat, some of them seriously wounded. Three of 
 the soldiers came and blockaded the door of the gin 
 shop which I had entered, but I knocked one down and 
 jumped over him, and cleared from them.. They were 
 very much enraged, as you may easily imagine; but 
 the dance-house baited us ; for as we were sporting 
 there the next day, they mustered a large group of sol- 
 diers and citizens, and with clubs and pitchforks sur- 
 rounded the house. We were taken, and shut up in a 
 dark cell, with plenty of straw, dirty, and alive with 
 fleas. All the light we had was by a few holes, about 
 as large as musket balls, in an iron window. Once 
 each day, the jailor visited us with a vessel, just like a 
 swill-pail, half full of boiled potatoes, and about a tea- 
 cupful of some sort of fat or grease. The times were 
 sad'ly changed. On board, we had plenty of good food 
 and grog, and comfortable lodgings. Little did I con- 
 sider this chastening for the best ; I thought it hardly 
 endurable, but was convinced of my error by its long 
 duratloa. We were transported on foot,, with our arms 
 
121 
 
 bound behind us, to Alkmaar, a city about thirty miles 
 distant ; this jaunt took two days ; at night, we had to 
 lodge in an old castle alone, where the accommoda- 
 tions were as before described. 
 
 We were conducted to a large prison in Alkmaar, 
 where each of us had a separate cell, and better provi- 
 sions, and good lodgings; but after we had been sepa- 
 rately examined by a justice, we were permitted to as- 
 semble together in a large room during the day, where 
 there were thirty or forty thieves as bad as ourselves^ 
 besides robbers and murderers. O, how tedious the 
 days and hours passed ! We remained here about four 
 months, when we again had to go through a process 
 of transportation to Amsterdam, a three days' jaunt ; we 
 were conducted by two deeners (constables) one of us 
 each day. We lodged the first night in the large vil- 
 lage of Bever Vake ; my view of it was very limited, 
 as I only went through one of its streets, and was con- 
 fined to my bed of straw during my stay. The next 
 night, we lodged in the city of Harlaam, and thence 
 were marched to Amsterdam, where we were shut up, 
 and had to remain six weeks for trial. I did not view 
 the weight of my crime in the same notch the Dutch 
 authorities did. I thought I had already received pu- 
 nishment greater than I deserved ; I had been deprived 
 of my liberty six months, and loaded the inhuman 
 Dutchmen with bitter imprecations for their cruelty. 
 But O, what depression of soul did I feel, when my sen- 
 tence was pronounced that I was to remain in prison 
 yet five years! I was then about twenty-six years of 
 age, and viewed the prim.e of my life as already in ob- 
 livion. O, how cutting to the soul is such a prospect I 
 
122 
 
 And what was the amount? Nothing but good, if my 
 mind had been properly exercised while I \vas in con- 
 finement; I was among culprits; my desire w^as to be 
 among society as vile. It was not being deprived of 
 the privilege of doing good that grieved me; it was 
 not a desire to be buffeting the boisterous ocean that 
 caused me to mourn ; the dance-house, the idle, gaudy 
 train, the grog-house, and the sound of heart-reviving 
 music — it was the want of these that harrowed my feel- 
 ings. By some means I became in possession of a 
 New Testament in English print. This book I took 
 some satisfaction in reading; but I was taken with a 
 fit of sickness, and was several days delirious, and 
 when the right use of my understanding came to me, 
 it was near noon on a pleasant day in August. I was 
 not a little surprised to behold two candles burning on 
 a table at the foot of my bed ; but I was soon relieved 
 from my consternation by a Roman Catholic priest, 
 who was sitting by my bedside, and who began asking 
 me many queer questions concerning my evil habits. 
 I must have made a good confession, for I candidly an- 
 swered all he asked me, and I don't think he forgot 
 anything; for he had it all at tongue's end — it was his 
 trade. Many things he asked me such as I desired to 
 practise, that I should not have thought of as being sin- 
 ful at that time. " But," said he, *' 1 saw that you had 
 a New Testament here. Don't you know that you 
 should not have that?" 
 
 " No, sir," I replied ; " i thought it was the best 
 book I could get. Don't you make the New Testa- 
 ment the foundation of your tenets?" 
 
 " O yes !" said he ; " but you don't understand it — 
 
1-23 
 
 you don't take the right meaning of it ; it is only for the 
 priests to understand the Bible." 
 
 I believed him by my own experience, for I knew I 
 was ignorant of its meaning. He gave me a prayer- 
 book, with his verbal directions how to use it, and I 
 became a Roman Catholic; and I suppose I knew as 
 much of the doctrine of Christ as he did, experimen- 
 tally; for my desires continued the same as before, 
 and my practices not in the least amended. I was 
 mindful, a small portion of each day, to read the collect 
 and prayer for that day ; but after a while, I became 
 necessitated for tobacco, and, Esau like, I sold my pa- 
 pist birthright for a morsel of self-gratifying, stinking 
 weed. The beautiful city of Harlaam was the place 
 of my destination, whither I was transported, and had 
 to become reconciled to the discipline of a common 
 convict's prison. Here we had three scanty meals each 
 day, composed of potatoes and beans, turnips, &c. ; 
 once each week a small piece of stock fish ; one day 
 each week a small piece of pork, and another day a 
 piece of beef; all this was no more than a name. We 
 were not compelled to work or labour, but had the pri- 
 vilege ; and when necessity made us work, we received 
 pay for it, and steady diligence would procure us to- 
 bacco, and many other notions, to m.ake our living 
 more agreeable. Our chief employment was knitting 
 tish-nets, an easy work, which I soon got the knack of, 
 and also soon learned the Dutch speech. But O, how 
 drearily did the time pass ! The chief topic amongus 
 was contemplating, studying, contriving, and talking 
 (for w^e were not ashamed or afraid of divulging our 
 tavourite schemes and plans to each other,) of methods 
 
124 
 
 how to be revenged on somebody, no matter who, for 
 the imagined wrongs we sustained ; but the rich were 
 the sufferers generally aimed at. I got one year's par- 
 don ; so, after passing four long summers, for the loss 
 of the pleasant si^asons was the most regretted, I again 
 enjoyed the blessing of liberty ; and it is a blessing in- 
 deed. None but those who have long been deprived of 
 it can place a true value on it ; and surely the best 
 method of finding the true value of anything, is to be 
 deprived of it. 1 know well the gloom that seems to 
 surround all creation, when the body is in bondage, and 
 the mind still more securely enslaved by the obscure 
 chain of hell. 
 
 For some time after 1 got my liberty, I would fre- 
 quently stop and look around me, and think, what a 
 privilege it was to go where 1 pleased. I first directed 
 my course on foot, about forty-two miles distant, 
 to the Helder, where I again embraced the gratifying 
 sight of the shipping; but how quick was my spirit re- 
 versed, when 1 heard that none of them wanted hands ; 
 and I went from ship to ship, but in vain, in quest of a 
 situation. One thing against me was, I made a shabby 
 appearance, my clothing was poor, I had no cash, and 
 it was horrid dull times in that country for the poor. — 
 But the old man, to whose gin shop I fled from the sol- 
 diers, as before staged, recollected me for good. I might 
 have starved, if it had not b;^en for his compassion. 
 He fed me, and frequently gave me the desired reviving 
 dram ; but his little shop vas stored so full of goods, 
 that he could not lodge me, and he had just got married. 
 He was liberal, and he was getting fat too ; he also bore 
 excellent marks of a contented mind. Every thing 
 
125 
 
 went well with him. He had not felt the evil of selling 
 gin yet. The nights were chilly, and I had no place to 
 sleep but in a corner of an old desolate dwelling-house, 
 in my daily habiliments. I could not bear to continue 
 lono-'a burden upon the old man's charity. With a 
 heavy heart 1 directed my steps to the side of a Dutch 
 man-of-war, which was fitting out for the East-Indies. 
 It was a long trip, and blasted my hopes of getting to 
 mv native land. I had heard so much said about the 
 cruel treatment in the Dutch navy, that it was quite dis- 
 couraging ; but there was no other way for me. I had 
 discarded all my premeditated plans, and base, vile de- 
 sires of revenge, w^hich had been my favourite contem- 
 plation while in confinement. I asked the sentinel if 
 ihey wanted hands on board the ship? He immediate- 
 ly hailed the ship, and made my object known. I was 
 admitted on board, and they gave me a job, (as I had 
 not much the appearance of a sailor,) to find out whether 
 I was one or not. They were soon satisfied, and I was 
 conducted to the cabin, where I sold myself for four 
 years more, almost as little desirable as those I had just 
 passed through. I had not been a month on board, 
 when, one day, as we had been hard at work till late, 
 without our dinners, I was irritated, and said, I had ra- 
 ther be 20 years on board a British man of war, than 
 one year here. I was overheard by an officer ; these 
 words were taken as contempt, or nearly as mutiny ; 
 and I was ordered to the quarter-deck. Two quarter- 
 masters, each with a rope's end, were ordered. I had 
 to take about fifty blows, not slightly performed. This 
 was a sad commencement ; but I most dreaded the dis- 
 pleasure of the officers, and the dismal prospect of four 
 
126 
 
 years^ service. My load was heavy. As I was busy^ 
 the next ch.y, between two guns, the same lieutenant 
 came along and spoke to me in a mild manner. 1 em- 
 braced the opportunity to solicit his forgiveness. He 
 replied. '* I don't hold malice; behave for the future, and 
 you'll do well enough." These were encouraging words, 
 and hope began to revive. This lieutenant, from that 
 time, showed me many favours, and became my power- 
 ful friend. We weighed anchor, and made sail from 
 Texel roads, had heavy gales, and head winds, and 
 were drove about in all directions, in the north sea, and 
 British channel, for the first four weeks. We got a fair 
 wind, which run us past the Madeiras, Canaries, and 
 Cape de Verd Islands. But when we drew near the 
 Equator, we were put on three half-pints of water each 
 day. This was scanty, and caused us to suffer with 
 thirst, a burning sun, and salt provisions ; but we had 
 to endure it. We put into Rio de Janeiro, in the Bra- 
 zils, got a tVesh supply of water, and some fresh provi- 
 sions ; but were very near losing the ship on a reef of 
 rocks, as we were leaving the harbour. We steered 
 our course to the south-east, till we caught the variable 
 winds, then steered due east, and passed the Cape of 
 Good Hope, in latitude 38 deg. It was about the month 
 of August, and we were supplied with frequent squalls 
 of hail and snow, and successive heavy gales. The top 
 men had most to suffer; for they were constantly e^- 
 posDd, loosing and furling sails. 
 
 Each successive galcy the hatches were all battened 
 down, except a small one, near the after part of ihe 
 ship, a scuttle about two feet square ; and only one per- 
 son could ascend or descend at one and the same time. 
 
127 
 
 And when the watch helow got to their hammocks, th«i 
 scuttle was shut and secured, to keep the water from de- 
 scending, which was constantly dashing over the ship, 
 and through the port-holes Tho water would be a foot 
 deep on the gun decks above us, as we lay in our ham- 
 mocks, so that we were perfectly surrounded with water. 
 I will leave the reader to judge what would have been 
 the fatal consequences, if the sea had broke over the 
 ship, and sent her on her beam-ends a^ sometimes does 
 happen ; or if a sudden heavy squal ;had struck us. If 
 you don't know, as I expect many of my readers may 
 not understand sea terms, I will inform you : we should 
 most probably have £;one to the bottom, ship and all. 
 Consider wliat a length of lime ii would require for 
 over 100 men to ascend the small scuttle before de- 
 scribed. Tiie above is but a sample of the many such 
 scenes I have witnessed and endured, and v/hich are in 
 constant operation on the seas. We ran an east course 
 till we got sight of a couple of small islands in the In- 
 dian ocean, called St. Paul's and Amsterdam. These 
 islands are the antipodes to us in the States ; or, as it 
 is more generally termed, the land nearest under us. 
 From these islands, w^e steered about N^. N. E., across 
 the trade winds, or rather, a>; they are termed in those 
 eountries. the east monsoons, and after a passage of four 
 months from Holland^ we dropped anchor at Anyer 
 Biy, thU is, windy bay. The friendly Malays spun 
 their small canoes and prows from the shore to salute 
 us ; the bay v/as almost covered, and their songs rang 
 through the air. It was, " Manah datam, O Belanda l 
 manah datam, A ?" that is, ** Where did you come 
 from, O white man ! where did vou come from, ha V" 
 
129 
 
 and we were soon supplied with abundance of fruit, 
 eggs, monkeys, parroquets, fresh fish, geese, fowls, 
 ducks, (Sjc, at a cheaper rate than I had ever witnessed 
 elsewhere. 
 
 We proceeded to Batavia, the capital of Java. There 
 was great rejoicing and firing of cannon on our arrival, 
 for we presented the governor with a very fine ship. 
 She mounted thirty brass cannon, all as bright as gold ; 
 and all the iron work that was in view was polished, and 
 appeared as silver. Our arrival w^as in good time, for 
 the native Malays had revolted at a settlement on 
 Sumatra, called Palambang ; they had massacred a num- 
 ber of the European settlers there, and the rest had to 
 flee to save their lives. The Dutch government were 
 fitting out an expedition of all the force they could mus- 
 ter, to reclaim the place. Our ship was destined to 
 join them, but the}^ gave us three weeks' recreation, as 
 a recompense for our long and tedious passage ; about 
 seventy Malays and Chinese were sent on board our 
 ship to do the work, while we were well supplied with 
 good fresh provisions, and plenty of grog and wine.^ 
 You may imagine there would be much confusion, in* 
 consequence of so much liquor among so many wild 
 sailors. This would most likely have been the case on 
 board of an American or British man-of-war, but I ob- 
 served nothing but harmony on this occasion. We 
 weighed anchor, made sail, passed along near the plea- 
 sant coast of Sumatra, and came to anchor near the 
 Admiral's ship, that was lying at the island of Mentor, 
 in the Straits of Banka. The squadron had been up the 
 river to Palambang, made an attack on their batteries, 
 got defeated with great loss, about 600 killed, and their 
 
129 
 
 shipping sadly damaged. Here again, being a day after 
 the fair, I kept out oftiiat wofui scrape. It is better to 
 be born lucky than rich ; the worst of it is, I have no 
 share of vain glory to boast of. 
 
 As I was a supernumerary among about 20 others, 
 
 we were sent on board of the admiral's ship, to be dis- 
 
 tributed umong the other ships, as the admiral t iough: 
 
 proper. It fell to my lot to be sent on board a frigate 
 
 called the Wilhelmena. As this vessel had been in the 
 
 van of the engagement at Paiambang, and was much 
 
 shattered by cannon balls, we were ordered to Surabaah, 
 
 a harbour near the east end of Java, where there was a 
 
 navy yard, for the purpose of repairing. We had 
 
 scarcely hands enough to get the anchor up, but with 
 
 much ado we accomplished it, and proceeded to Bata- 
 
 [ via. Here agam it was my fortune to share with this 
 
 i crew the same space of time and privileges of recrea- 
 
 ^ tion as before described on board of the other ship, aad 
 
 ;; which was performed with nearly the same harmony; 
 
 i about IGO Malays were sent on board, who assisted in 
 
 ?: getting the ship to Surabaah. I was taken with a dis- 
 
 order very prevalent in tliat country, called the flux ; of 
 
 which there died from our ship, on an average, about 
 
 one each week ; I was aboiat a month in the doctor's 
 
 list, went through a course of mercury, and got well 
 
 again. As soon as we got to Surabaah, we commenced 
 
 getting guns, stores, ballast, and ammunition out of the 
 
 ship, also stripping her masts of rigging and sails ; this 
 
 was hard work in that hot climate, and 1 began to think 
 
 hard of it, became discontented, and my constant study 
 
 was how to get away. 
 
 As I felt a little indisposed one day, I went to the 
 9 
 
doctor, I thought I was sick, for my mind was so dis- 
 turbed and dissatisfied, that I felt it all over. The best 
 medicine I received from the doctor was orders to get 
 ready to go to the hospital. I was sent in the boat that 
 went to market in the morning, and ihey left me at the 
 navy yard, about a mile and a half up the river, there 
 to await the arrival of a canoe that plied daily between 
 the town and hospital, a distance of four miles by wa- 
 ter, and but three by land. I was much delighted to 
 find myself once more on land, as I had been deprived 
 of the privilege for nearly a year ; and if I had not been 
 on the sick list, I could have danced for joy. The 
 Malay arrived with his canoe ; I got in ; and our pro- 
 gress up the river was very slow, as the poor fellow had 
 to push her along with a pole. I was accommodated 
 with a mat and pillow under a roof that was fixed over 
 the hinder end of the canoe. As the poor Malay was 
 pushing and tugging, and we were slowly passing under 
 bridges that lay across the winding stream, I was drawn 
 into meditation on the delightful scene around me, and 
 the sudden happy change I had all at once experienced. 
 On board of a war ship, all that meets the eye is bustle 
 and confusion ; here, in this pleasant wood, rothing is 
 to be beheld but the gayest scene of nature. I had just 
 left a man-of-war, where most frequently the ear is sa- 
 luted with blasphemy, imprecations, oaths, and all sori& 
 of nonsense- — and that from beings capable of using all 
 their faculties In a reasonable course. Here, in this 
 grove, how striking the contrast ! The gentle breezes 
 among the leaves — the harmonious chorus of ihe inno- 
 cent feathered multitude — -the lowing of cattle in the 
 adjacent fields— the sound of the distant gong (that is. 
 
131 
 
 the Malay or Chinese bell, a large cask with a green 
 cowhide stretched over one end, like a drum head ; it 
 is smitten with a large mallet, and makes a heavy, loud 
 sound, by which the time of day and the time of their 
 devotion is designated,) — these were more to be desired 
 than the vociferous language which had so long assailed 
 my ears. In a man-of-war^ the attention is constantly 
 occupied by a display of implements of war ; in this 
 wood, the God of nature displays the emblems of peace 
 and rest in a most delightful picture. In a war ship, all 
 tends to frustrate the soul, and keep temper on the move, 
 as a saw in operation. How could I be but tranquil, as 
 it were alone, in this pleasant wood, for I could not yet 
 understand the Malay tongue 1 
 
 We arrived in sight of a spacious edifice, and landed 
 abreast of it, at a distance of forty rods from it. I did 
 not suppose it was the hospital, its appearance was so 
 grand, surpassing the structure of any building I had yet 
 seen; for the buildings in that country are ordinary, 
 and many of them composed of bamboo, (that i^, a large 
 reed.) I was conducted through a long delightful arch- 
 way, composed of vines, under which was a smooth clay 
 hard-trodden walk, each side of v/hich was selvaged 
 with about four feet 'of green grass, till I came to the 
 hospital, where I ascended a stairway inta a piazza that 
 surrounded the building. I was soon visited by the doc- 
 tor, w^ho commanded the attendants to bring me a suit 
 of clean linen clothes ; this done, they conducted me to 
 a clean room, in which there were about thirty patients, 
 and showed me my lodgings. **But," you will say, 
 " you was not sick ; how comes it that the doctor was 
 not aware of that ? You had more need of the cook's 
 
132 
 
 assistance than the doctor's." The symptoms of the 
 dysentery are not easily perceived, and their credulity 
 was also in my favour ; they did not think a man would 
 say he was sick, if he was not. I now know that it was 
 far from rectitude, and felt condemned in the time of it ; 
 but what carnal-minded person is there, who would not 
 cut the chain of bondage with any weapon he could get 
 hold of? As mercury is found to be the surest remedy 
 for the flux or diarrhoea, that is very fatal in that coun- 
 try, I had to go through a course of that medicine, and 
 was a fortnight with my tongue swollen, and my mouth 
 so sore that I could not bear boiled rice in it ; I then 
 found out that something ailed me. When I got better, 
 the head doctor kept me from going on board of the 
 frigate, thai I might assist him as interpreter ; for there 
 were many American and English sailors in that hospi. 
 tal, and the doctor could not speak with them. This 
 situation suited me as well as to be on board at hard la- 
 bour, but I had many dismal scenes to witness ; some 
 in acute agony, some dying ; more or less every day 
 were conveyed to the dead ward ; many drop into the 
 grave there, whose fatal end is for ever obscured from 
 their friends and relatives. Witnessing so many deaths 
 had but little effect on me at that time. When a dead 
 body came to my view, it would bring something of an 
 indifferent solemnity over me, and I would think, " Well, 
 there goes another ; my turn will come by and by." 
 
 My sympathy was often excited by the heart-rending 
 emotions exhibited by some, who had their senses in 
 their last moments. One or two in particular excited 
 my attention, viz : the mate of an Indiaman, a large ship 
 galled the Borneo ; he was a young man, and had a 
 
133 
 
 young wife ia Londou. He had her profile with hiix. 
 Just before he died, he would frequently pull it from his 
 bosom, and would gaze upon it with great intensity and 
 solicitude, while the tears were streanning down his 
 face. O deluded nian ! the beloved beautiful clay was 
 his god, in those critical and precious moments. John 
 Rollands, a young man about 20 years of age, was my 
 companion, before he died ; and I attended him in his 
 last moments : with writhing, and bitter lamentations, 
 he expired. " My mother ! oh my mother !" he would 
 frequently exclaim ; and to think and speak of her seem- 
 ed to be all his desire. The old saying is, " One's meat 
 is the other's poison." The reverse of this saying was 
 the case with me ; for every one that died gave me 
 what money they had, till it amounted to ten or twelve 
 dollars. This made me feel rich again, and I longed 
 to get where I could spend it. 
 
 For fear that I should be called on, to go on board, 
 I asked liberty to go to town, knowing that it was a rule 
 of the head doctor's to give each patient liberty to go, 
 for his own recreation, the day previous to their being 
 sent on board. This was my last, and only chance to 
 purchase my brush. I got my liberty, and, the next 
 day, put on my best' clothes, not forgetting the cash in 
 the pockets of the old ones. I slowly marched through 
 the grove, before described, to the town ; and called for 
 my dinner at a tavern, kept by a Spaniard that spoke 
 both Dutch and English. I sounded him on the sub- 
 ject of my intention to get away from the frigate ; and 
 found him true. He gave me information of a mer- 
 chant at Grissea, a sea- port about twelve miles distant^ 
 that had a large ship on the stocks, and wanted Euro- 
 
134 
 
 pean or American seamen to rig her ; and he also in^ 
 formed me that this merchant had two clever fellows 
 there already; an Englishman, by the name of Smith, 
 and a Hanoversman. My mind was, as it were, on 
 wings. *• That's the place for me," said I. But I had 
 to pass close by the frigate I was deserting. These 
 thoughts sank my spirit again ; yet the good Spaniard 
 told me not to fear. After dinner the Spaniard sent 
 one of his Malay servants (the Malays knew nothing 
 of my intention, for they could not understand us,) to 
 show me where the passage boats lay that went to Gris- 
 sea. Lucky was I that none of the frigate's officers 
 met me ; for if they had, the jig would have been up. 
 But I hired a canoe, and proceeded down the river, and 
 availed myself of the benefits of a little roof on the after 
 end of the canoe. Thus I passed the frigate unper- 
 ceived. I gave the two Malays, who managed the ca- 
 noe, all the loose change I had. This was an addition 
 to their fee. I then made signs for them to go ahead. 
 In a little more than an hour, I was landed at Grissea; 
 but I saw none that I could speak to, or understand ; 
 and the Malays, Arabs, Persians, and Chinamen gazed 
 so intensely at me, that I thought they all knew 1 was 
 a deserter. I strayed along through the town apace, not 
 knowing who to inquire of, till 1 spoke to a Chinaman, 
 the only one that could speak Dutch among all the re«t 
 in town ; and he pointed me to the habitation of Smith, 
 the Englishman ; who, when I entered his room, was as 
 glad to see me as if we had formerly been intimate; and 
 the bottle and glass were soon on the table. 1 found 
 him to be a true fellow, and told him 1 had deserted. 
 He said I must not tell De Greet so ; this was the mer- 
 
135 
 
 ciianrs name by whom Smith was employed. The place 
 where Smith resided, was a large vvare-house establish- 
 ment, where De Groet's goods were deposited. And 
 when he came the next day, to view his premises, I 
 agreed to stay m his employ, telling him I had been left 
 on shore from a merchant ship. De Groet had a schoon- 
 er, which Frederick, the Hanoverraan, was commander 
 of: and he sent me on board with him as mate ; thus I 
 was at once promoted ; how lucky ! and more yet, I 
 had no labor to perform. We made a couple of trips 
 -down the coast of Java to a small town called Kanantee, 
 where tlie ship was building. The frigate sailed for Pa- 
 lambang, and I became my own negro. As all the go- 
 vernment vessels were not enough to blockade and sub- 
 due the native rebels at Palam bang, and they were fitting 
 out an expedition for that purpose, De Groet hired his 
 schooner to government, as a cruiser to guard the coast 
 of Java against the plundering pirates, who came from 
 the coast of Malacca, and very much annoyed the fish- 
 ing and merchant trades. Frederick was to have the 
 command ; and I went with him as first lieutenant, or 
 aid-de-camp* Our vessel mounted six cannon, besides 
 muskets, and other arms; and thirty -six men, with a 
 iong swaggering pendant, also a drum and fife. Away 
 we sailed, with a stock of vain glory seed. We ranged 
 the coast for 150 miles, boarding and overhauling every 
 vessel we fell in with ^- but found no pirates among 
 4 hem. We were stationed to cruise under the joint di- 
 rection of two Residents ; the one governed a small 
 sea-port, called Poccallongon : the other, a similar place, 
 called Teagal. We proceeded to the latter port, where 
 we received orders to take charge, and wait till a large 
 
1^6 
 
 raft of government timber was put together. This we~ 
 were to convey to Batavia, the capital^ a distance of 
 IGO miles. While waiting for this raft, I had the pri- 
 vilege of many excursions along the coast, and in the 
 country. The native males of these countries are in- 
 dolent, careless, and easy ; they don^t appear to be 
 concerned for the future r if the Malays have rice in 
 their houses, which is their chief sustenance^ they sel- 
 dom think of labour while the rice lasts ; they are inof- 
 fensive, easy entreated, and good servants, when not ir- 
 ritated ; but barbarous, cruel and savage, if tliey are op-^ 
 pr^essed, and can get the power. The females are more 
 frugal and industrious. It is common for a man to 
 have several wives, who support him in idleness, by 
 their economy and industry. Few men are seen in the 
 market, selling or buying; and as you walk through 
 the pleasant spicy groves, around the suburbs of their 
 cities and villages, you will hear the clacking of their 
 looms, in every direction. They sit flat on the ground^ 
 when weaving, and the whole loom, or wraving uten- 
 sils, are held in their laps, fastened around their waists, 
 and to their feet. It is hard to find a Malay by his 
 name ; for, when he gets tired of one name, he goes ta 
 his priest, and, for a trifling sum, gets another. 
 
 As the fresh water atTeagal was unhealthy, we hired 
 a small prow ; that is, a vessel, to bring a few casks 
 from Berbes, a river about twelve miles distant. I took 
 two Malay sailors, and a couple of muskets, for the pur- 
 pose of hunting wild swine, which were plenty in the 
 island of Java. We ascended the river, about two 
 miles, to a village ofbamboo houses, inhabited entirely 
 by Malays. I was conducted and introduced to the 
 
137 
 
 Dcman, that is, the head man, or ruler of the village, 
 r was received kindly, and treated with great respect. 
 All at once the servants were put in motion, as if the 
 house was on fire ; and the dinner was spread on a 
 platform, elevated about fifteen inches from the ground, 
 covered with mats, which also served as their bedding. 
 Tiiey had no chairs ;. each one took his seat, as it were^ 
 on the table. I informed the Deman of my desire and 
 intention, to try to shoot some pigs after dinner. He 
 went to a corner in the room, where was a joint of 
 bamboo, about two feet and a half in length, and ten. 
 inches in diameter, with a square hole in the top of it,. 
 from whence he took a mallet, and began to thump the 
 bamboo ; the rattling was alarming ; this was the towii= 
 bell. I was in consternation, but soon understood the 
 meaning, by seeing a multitude about the house. TiiC 
 Deman ordered such as had muskets to get them in or- 
 der before evening, for the purpose of accompanying 
 himself and me on a hunting excursion. During the 
 afternoon, I took a canoe and four men, andWent eight 
 miles further up the river, to another village. On my 
 passage, i jjad a pleasing prospect of the indigo and rice 
 fields, which extended on low, level planes, as far as- 
 the eye can reach. The indigo, when growing, has 
 the appearance of beans ; the rice that of oats. I had 
 also an opportunity of observing the sagacity of the 
 carabow, or Java buffdlo, which has more the appear- 
 ance of an ox. They graze in the cool of the day ^ 
 about 10 o'clock A. M., they regularly and uniformly 
 march in droves to the water, wade in till they are all 
 under except tlie tip of their nose, and remain in that 
 position till about two o'clock P. M. ; and then they 
 
1S6 
 
 return to the fields, to fill themselves with grass again. 
 Up this river there was a ship on the stocks, about 200 
 tons ; notwithstanding at the mouth of the river there 
 was a bar, never affording more than two feet of wa- 
 ter. How they got her over it, I know not. I return- 
 ed to the village, near the mouth of the river ; and af- 
 ter supper, we started in quest of the pigs. They mus- 
 tered three old muskets in the village, but one of them 
 had no lock. 
 
 These three men, the Deman, and three or four ser- 
 vants, with refreshments and something to drink, my 
 two men, and myself, all started out of the village, and 
 began to trace the edges of the rice and indigo fields. 
 After two hours h silent tramp, and not a grunt had 
 been heard, I thought best to separate ; and took my 
 two men, and steered my own course, while I kept them 
 quite a distance behind me. I lay down between two 
 hillocks, awhile, to listen, and heard a grunting at a 
 small distance; it was dark, and I could see nothing; 
 I fired at the sound, heard one squeel, and scamper 
 towards the woods. My two men thought I had him, 
 and came running to me. They thoroughly surveyed 
 about four acres of ground, three times over, in Vain 
 for the pig. I thought best to call it a lost chance, and 
 give it up. I was about in the centre of a large field, 
 and it was very dark, so that it was in vain for me to 
 study the course to the village, which must have been 
 four or six miles distant. It was my good fortune to 
 find the bank of the river, and I was certain that I vvas 
 up stream from the village. I took a piece of white 
 paper that I had in my pocket, split a stick, drew the 
 pa|)er in the split, and hove it a small distance into the 
 
139 
 
 river, by which means I found out ; down stream I 
 traced the bank, and near daylight found the village ; 
 so with this exploit of iiunting, I made out about as well 
 as I commonly had done with all my undertakings ; I 
 left the pigs, got my water, and made all sail for the 
 schooner. 
 
 Frederick had got the raft under way, and having 
 impressed a ship belonging to a Malay king to help to 
 tow the raft from the coast, had commenced his passage 
 to Batavia. The king, being himself on board of his 
 ship, and finding himself gliding so far from the shore 
 on to the bosom of the great water, began to be fearful, 
 and begged Frederick to let him return home ; but the 
 raft vvas government property, and an officer in govern, 
 ment service in that country had power over a native 
 king. This raft was strongly put together, composed 
 chiefly of large timber ; it was 100 feet long, about 60 
 broad, and 24 deep, 18 feet of it under water; there 
 was a house on it, and 100 men attached to it, with ten 
 small vessels to tow it along ; there was also a mast and 
 sail, as large as a 74 gun ship's maintopsail, on it, a 
 capstan, and three anchors and cables, the anchors 
 vveighing about 2000 pounds each. Our business was 
 lo make them keep a right course, and keep the pirates 
 from molesting it. As the Malays are very inattentive, 
 and too indolent to trim their sails in case of the wind's 
 varying or hauling, I frequently had to take the boat, 
 with eight or ten hands, and go to the raft, and make 
 them regulate their course, sometimes three times of a 
 night. When the wind blew towards the shore, Frede- 
 rick and myself availed ourselves of every opportunity 
 to impress every vessel, under pretence that we had I'eed 
 
140 
 
 of them — that the raft was in clanger; but our object 
 was to nnake them give money to get clear. I mention 
 this to show the craving, avaricious desire of men ; we 
 were employed to hinder the very abominatron we were 
 putting in practice. I felt mean while taking my part 
 of the money, and have felt low in mind ever since, as 
 often as it comes to my recollection. By the above 
 practices, we received a considerable sum. 
 
 After three weeks' passage, we arrived at Batavia. 
 Frederick delivered his charge ; I visited several of my 
 own country ships ; some of the captains wanted me to 
 go home with them, and ofKsred me good wages ; but 
 T had good wages, good fare, and a gentleman's living, 
 which 1 had no notion of swapping away for the sake of 
 performing the drudgery of a sailor; and I had no idea 
 of ever crossing the equator, west of the Cape of Good 
 Hope, again. 
 
 We made sail a^ain for Teagal, had head winds and 
 a long passage. When we arrived there, we got orders 
 to cruise along the coast till we came to Poccallongon, 
 and fulfil the orders of that Resident, if he had any for 
 us. We came to anchor at a place called Pamallang, 
 and Frederick overdid himself by walking hastily three 
 miles in the country, to the habitation of the king whose 
 ship he had previously impressed. This king, had a feast 
 every Saturday evening, for the entertainment of Euro- 
 pean gentlemen. Frederick returned on board, and 
 we set sail and proceeded to Foccalongon. Frederick 
 went on shore, and got orders to go and cruise off Point 
 Pamallang, but he was very unwell, and concluded to 
 delay getting under way ; the next morning he sent me 
 on shore to do some business, which I did, and returned 
 
141 
 
 X)n board. He was stiil in a bad state of licahh ; I ad- 
 vised him to have a physician, which he refused, saying 
 they did generally nnore iiurt th?.n good. The nex;^ 
 morning, before day, he called me, and told me to get 
 the vessel under way, and steer for Point Pamallang. 
 I perceived he was very sick, and requested him to de- 
 lay yet another day, and let me go on shore fur a doc- 
 tor, but he said he should be better by the effects of the 
 sea breeze. I obeyed his orders, and next day came 
 to anchor about two miles distant from the mouth of 
 Pamallang river. Up this river was a real haunt for 
 pirates. The first settlement was sixteen miles from its 
 mouth ; and the pirates w^ould lay in it, and have a man 
 on the lookout, that when a merchant vessel came along 
 that they imagined they could conquer, they would pop 
 out and take her. Frederick told me, that if I iiad a 
 mind, I might take eight or ten hands and some arms 
 in the boat, and go on shore and get some wood for 
 fuel ; and I started. As f drew near the shore, there 
 was a prow in the offing, making for the river ; but as 
 soon as they saw the Dutch flag that [ had flying on a 
 staff in the stern of the boat, they altered their course 
 and sheered off, and J was not sorry to see it. She was 
 undoubtedly a piratical vessel, and they might easily 
 have captured me in the boat with only a few muskets, 
 and then taken the schooner. I entered the river, got 
 my fuel, and returned on board. Frederick wa/5 so ex- 
 hausted that he could hardly breathe ; two men were 
 holding him up and fanning him ; death was stamped on 
 his countenance. In the cool of the evening, he was 
 something better. 
 
 I had heard Jhim express a desire to goto Pamallang, 
 
142 
 
 where there resided a gentleman with whom he wished 
 to settle some business. I ordered the mandoor, that 
 is, the boatswain, to get the anchor up and make sail. 
 <^< What are you going to do ?" said Frederick. 1 told 
 him I was going to Pamallang. " Wait till morning," 
 said he. I told him I feared he had decayed too long 
 already. " Do as you choose,^' said he. I steered for 
 Pamallang. There came on a fog, and I could not see 
 tlie land. But when I thought I was far enough, we 
 came to anchor. After the sails were furled, we hoisted 
 the boarding nettings, that those who remained on board 
 might the easier defend themselves in case of an attack 
 by pirales ; for this was a sea-board ; there was no 
 harbour there, and the schooner lay three miles from 
 the shore, 1 took only five hands with me in the boat, 
 and in the fog started for the shore. My object was to 
 get a place on shore for the captain, with the gentleman 
 beforo-mentioned, that something more might be done 
 for him than I could do on board. I was successful in 
 finding the shore, landed, and left two men by the boat. 
 There was a Malay village which I had to pass through. 
 Some of the inhabitants heard us as we landed ; and ti- 
 dings flew, as on the wings of lightning, that pirates 
 were landing. FTad I been a pirate, the village might 
 have been mine ; for I passed through it, and there 
 were none to stop me. AH the human beings had Red, 
 but the dogs stood their ground, and troubled me so, 
 that I came near shooting several of them. I had then 
 about two miles and a half to waik. When I got with- 
 in about a quarter of a mile of the king's habitation, I 
 informed the officer of the picket guard, that I wanted 
 to speak with the king. I was passed from one guard 
 
143 
 
 to another, till 1 came to a spacioi^.s enclosure ; a space 
 of hard-trodden smooth clay ground before the king's 
 house, (or I suppose I must term it a palace, to be fami. 
 har with kings.) There were a large number of musi- 
 cians, chiming something like a tune. It was a delight-. 
 ful sound, at any rate. About three hundred Malays 
 were all on their knees around an open pavilion, whero 
 the king and his guests, about ten or fourteen, were just 
 taking their seats for supper. I was conducted to the 
 king at the head of the table. But as he spoke but lit- 
 tle Dutch or English, he directed me to -Mr. Cook, the 
 Resident of Teagal, who was seated near the other end 
 of the table. 1 went to Mr. Cook, and informed him 
 of the sad situation of my captain, and that he had ex- 
 pressed a desire to come to Pamallang. The gentle- 
 man whom Frederick was acquainted with spoke, and 
 said, this is a poor place to bring him to ; there is no 
 physician here. You had better go to some place where 
 you can procure medical aid. Mr. Cook told me ta 
 proceed to Poccallongon, informing me there was a 
 good doctor there. I told him there was one at Tea- 
 gal, and the distance was much shorter. Mr. Cook said 
 there was something like a doctor there, but he was a 
 poor intemperate creature, and as I had a land breeze 
 directly, I could soon run to Poccallongon, One of the 
 party invited me to sit down and take supper with them. 
 I told them it would be improper for me to delay, as 
 the schooner was too much exposed, in case a pirate 
 came along. One of the company asked me to take 
 a glass of wine with them. I told them I had no objec- 
 tions. One of them began to pour out a glass ; another 
 said, " Stop, stop ! he only takes one glass ; we are 
 
144 
 
 drinking all the evening : what is a small glass for a 
 man that is on express exercise ?" So a tumbler was 
 brought and filled, which was as soon emptied ; and I 
 started, got on board, found all safe, got the boarding 
 nettings down, and the anchor up, and made saiL Fre- 
 derick seemed to be better, and urged me to go to rest, 
 and let the vessel lie till morning. We had got a good 
 breeze from the land, and in the morning we were off 
 Pamallang river. When the sea-breeze came in, we 
 shaped our course for Poecallongon, Frederick came 
 up on deck, and sat under the awning, and discoursed 
 with me a couple of hours. I then began to cherish 
 hopes of his recovery. When we came in sight of the 
 flagstaff, on the battery, he went below to his cabin, and 
 we came to anchor. I immediately went on shore to 
 get a physician. Our vessel lay about two miles from 
 the shore ; and I had the same distance to stem the 
 current of a river. Not being acquainted, it took me 
 some time to find the doctor's residence. He had lain 
 down, and with much earnest solicitation I prev^ailed on 
 a servant to deliver my message. The answer was re* 
 turned, that I must bring the captain on shore. 
 
 I made no delay, hut returned on board as soon as 
 possible, and found Frederick gasping for breath, almost 
 insensible. But he could speak, with some difficulty, 
 I began to make ready to take him on shore. He in- 
 sisted that I should go to rest, and wait till morning, 
 remarking that I had been up three or four nights in 
 succession. But 1 was aware of his danger, and got 
 his bed into the boat, under the awning ; I then had him 
 enclosed with flags, which answered the purpose of cur- 
 tains, and started for the shore. When I came to the 
 
M5 
 
 mouth of the river, the water was so low that I couid 
 not get the boat over the bar, but I soon found a plan : 
 as there lay several small vessels waiting for the wa- 
 ter to rise, I was under the necessity of impressing 
 •their hands; they carried my boat over the bar, and I 
 got the captain to the doctor's house. After the doctor 
 had examined him, he told me, in private, that Frede- 
 rick's disorder was the putrified fever, and said he could 
 not tell how it would terminate till the next morning. 
 The next difficulty was to find a house where the cap- 
 tain could stay. This was no easy task; for although 
 many would be termed charitable, few had benevo- 
 lence enough to admit a sick stranger into their house. 
 I had to go in quest of a place, an entire stranger, and 
 knowing little of the ways of the country. It was in 
 the evening, and dark; I strayed along, looking at 
 every house, not knowing which to enter. As 1 was 
 .passing a large elegant fabric, I thought '*the higher 
 the water, the better the swimming;" and I mustered 
 -courage enough to go in. It was the dwelling of Mr. 
 Thomas, the agent of the orphan institution. I made 
 known my request. A lady who happened to be there 
 on a visit, told me she had a small bamboo house ; if 1 
 would pay for the. use of it, I might have it. I agreed 
 to give her price, and she sent a lad to conduct me to 
 where it stood. When I returned to th-e doctor's, he 
 had a room already partitioned off.; these partitions, i^o 
 easily put up, are bamboo splints, w^ove together, and 
 kept in readiness to be put up in a few minutes. The 
 doctor said he had compassion on seafaring men, and 
 Jiad concluded to keep Frederick in his own house. I 
 -directed the lad to tell his mistress we were provided 
 
 .10 
 
wiih a place, left two servants of the captain's to take 
 care of him, and returned to the schooner for the night, 
 as it would have been improper to leave her in an open 
 roadstead, with none but indolent Malays on board. 
 
 The next morning, I took about 400 dollars, that 
 were secreted under the cabin floor, unknown to the 
 Malays, for fear that they might rise on us and take the 
 schooner, as they often are inclined to do, and went on 
 shore. I found Frederick something belter than when 
 I left him the night previous. I had the money counted 
 ill his presence, and had the doctor and a student for 
 witnesses. I then went to the Resident for informa- 
 tion how to proceed, and to know if he had any de- 
 mands on the schooner. He told me he had nothing 
 of importance to be performed by the schooner; that I 
 could wait till the scale turned one w^a)^ or the other 
 with the captain. My anxiety to perform the vessel's 
 duty was on behalf of De Groet, that her hire should 
 not be stopped. I returned on board at night, and came 
 on shore the next morning. 
 
 As I was passing through a pleasant grove, on my 
 way to the doctor's, I met Mr. Francis, a merchant, 
 the gentleman that objected to my taking the small 
 glass of wine at the feast, who inform.ed me that Fre- 
 derick had expired during the night. This tidings 
 caused a solemnity to come over me, such as I had 
 ni3ver felt before. He had showed me the kindness of 
 a brother. He was a man of good understanding, and 
 made good use of it. His influence was not small, and 
 I had the promise of its benefit. In short, my best and 
 only friend was gone ; akhough 1 was very much har- 
 dened, I could not forbear shedding a few tears. He 
 
147 
 
 was buried under the honours (iHt can be termed ho- 
 nours) of war; the commander of the garrison sent a 
 company of soldiers to discharge their muskets over 
 his grave — a sad compliment ; as if they should sav, 
 " Your body may rest here, but your spirit and soul 
 shall forever partake of the glorious trophies of mur- 
 der, bloodshed, and slaughter.'^ 
 
 After the burial ceremony was over, I went to the 
 Resident for orders how to proceed. He told me there 
 was nothing of importance for the schooner to do ; that 
 I had better send tidings by letter to De Groet, and 
 wait for his answer. This I did, and received a letter 
 from De Groet, containing directions how he wished 
 me to proceed. At the close of his letters, he never 
 omiited the following sentence: " And dan't forget to 
 use the Malays well." His wish that I should use the 
 Malays well, was not through good will to the poor 
 ignorant natives, or from any pacific, charitable, or be- 
 nevolent disposition which he cherished ; but because 
 he feared the Malays would rise on me, and he should 
 lose his vessel. A little previous to our departure from 
 Grissea, I saw fifteen Malays executed for taking a 
 schooner that they belonged to, and massacring the 
 white officers. But his caution to me w-as not needed, 
 for I had no disposition to treat them ill. I now had 
 to purchase the provisions for the crew of the schooner, 
 and had orders from De Groet to draw what money 1 
 had n,^ed of from the Resident. 
 
 I was now becoming noted among the higher classes 
 of society. I am glad I had not the faculty of getting 
 rich. As I was rather too easy with the Malays, they 
 began to take some liberties, of which I thought best 
 
148 
 
 to depiive them. Half of the crew got into a habit of 
 getting on shore, and absenting themselves, by turns, 
 staying on shore with their wives ; by which means 
 my force on board was weakened, and sometimes the 
 pirates were bold enough to come among the vessels 
 lying in the roadstead. To put a stop to their prac- 
 tice of staying on shore, I gave them liberty to bring 
 their wives and girls on board at night, and set them 
 on shore in the morning. The Malay females are ge- 
 nerally as good in battle as the men ; and I thought 
 they would be better on board with the men, than the 
 men on shore at a distance of four miles, in case of an 
 attack. 
 
 I was returning on board from the shore one even- 
 ing, just after dark, and had lain down on the cushions 
 under the awning in the stern of the boat, and being 
 somewhat fatigued, had fallen partly into a doze. In 
 this situation, between asleep and awake, I heard the 
 voice of a female hailing the boat. Thinking that she 
 belonged to some of the men, I told them to take her 
 on board. While they pulled the boat towards the 
 shore, and were in the act of taking her in, I fell asleep 
 again, but was awakened by a person ^squeezing my 
 wrist ; I looked up, and was not a little surprised to see 
 a beautiful girl seated near me, and having hold of my 
 hand. I asked her what she did by me^ and told her 
 to go to the man she belonged to. The mandoor was 
 sitting close at my head, steering the boat, and told me 
 that she had no man, but only wanted to speak to me. 
 I took another look at her by the lightof the stars, and 
 formed an opinion, which was correct, that she was a 
 ^ir inoo«eRt-girl. aud I made up my mind to be her 
 
149 
 
 protector. When we got on board, there was a heavy 
 swell running, the women were nearly all sea-cick, 
 and there was a sound about the vessel something like 
 that commonly heard in an hospital; but Samoorah, 
 the girl I have been alluding to, was not affected. In 
 the morning, I told her she must go on shore with the 
 rest of the girls, but she began to weep. By this time 
 I began to get hold of the Malay speech, and I asked 
 her why she did not wish to go on shore ? She said 
 she did not wish to have her friends know that she was 
 on board of a vessel, (for those girls that come on board 
 ?tre generally mean characters.) 
 
 1 left her on board, thinking to find out where she 
 eame from. I made the circumstance known to ths 
 Resident, who told me he would let me. know in a daj 
 or two whether I could keep her or not She was a 
 Malayess, and many of them are slaves; if this had 
 been the case with Samoorah, and I had kept her, it 
 might have cost me two or three hundred rupees; but 
 the Resident had means of getting information on the 
 subject very readily. The Malays are not bought and 
 sold, as slaves in other countries, from Africa; but be- 
 come Staves voluntarily, by getting in debt. If you 
 hire a Malay, and hie takes up more than his wages 
 amount to, he becomes your slave till he pays you; 
 and as they are a ^ery indolent people, always want- 
 ing, and not taking much thought for the future, they 
 are apt to take all they can get, and so involve their 
 whole posterity as slaves. De Groet, and many others, 
 had so many slaves that they did not know the wholo 
 of them ; many of them consisted of fluhers, m.others^ 
 children, and grandchildren. 
 
150 
 
 When I returned on board at evening, I found all 
 well. Samoorah had a pleasant smile on her counte- 
 nance, which I afterwards found was natural. The 
 next morning, I asked her to go on shore; but she did 
 not seem willing. I told her I would ^x the boat so 
 that she w^ould not be seen, and that I would land be- 
 low the town. We started. Mr. Francis had a beau- 
 tiful garden and grove, that extended from the back of 
 his house to the river, below the town, where he had 
 a piazza and bathing-house. There we landed, and 
 walked throuoj-h the grove to the house. Mrs. Francis 
 was a young woman, the very picture of Samoorah; 
 they might have been taken for twins. She stood on 
 the back piazza ; and as soon as she saw Samoorah, 
 she put on a smile of approbation, w^hich w^as answer- 
 ed by Samoorah; they shook hands. I was not a little 
 gratified to find them acquainted, and asked Mrs. Fran- 
 cis if Samoorah was a slave. This idea she spurned 
 with disdain, and my gratification was increased on 
 learning that they were sisters. I left her there, and 
 w^ent about m.y business for the day. When I entered 
 the Resident's office, the first words he uttered, after 
 the salutation of the day, Vv^ere, " You can keep that 
 girl if you wish." I was happy to be in possession of 
 such a treasure, for I found her as true as the sun, 
 
 The pirates were making such havoc among the 
 fishermen and small merchantmen, that the Resident 
 asked me, one day, if I could not go out, and catch or 
 frighten them away. I told him I wanted a few white 
 soldiers, to keep the Malay sailors to their quarters in 
 case of an attack; "for you know," said f, "many of 
 \he Malays are treacherous^ and for the sake of th© 
 
151 
 
 privilege of a retreat, they might get frightened and 
 ^kill me, then return with ihe schooner, and report that 
 the enemy had killed me ; and you know it is no more 
 "than requisite that I should have some white men with 
 me." The Resident confessed that my request was 
 reasonable, and sent me to the commander of the gar- 
 rison with a letter, desiring him to let me have some 
 men. The commandant gave me an order to the offi- 
 cer who had command on the garrison, who selected 
 -six privates and a sergeant from among forty that vo- 
 lunteered to go with me. I got them on board, got 
 under way, and steered for Pamallang riv^er. I cruised 
 along the coast, boarding and overhauling many ves- 
 sels, but no pirates among them. 
 
 I came to anchor one morning, just at daybreak, 
 about three miles distant from the mouth of Pamallang 
 river. As the men were up furling the topsails, the 
 sergeant, having the spyglass, perceived three small 
 vessels close to the shore. They had been ranging 
 the coast in search of prey, and were making for theif 
 haunt in the river. I told the men to stop furling the 
 sails, and let them hang; I intended to get underway, 
 and beat in towards them; the wind was blowing from 
 the land. The sergeant requested me to let him have 
 ten of my men and the boat^ and he would take his 
 men : " and," said he, " when they see white men, 
 they'll be frightened, and soon surrender." I studied 
 on this plan a few minutes; and considered that if I 
 let the boat go, and part of my men, and they should 
 he overpowered and captured, the pirates might easily 
 come and take the schooner; and If I did not let the 
 sergeant have his desire, and the pirates should get 
 
away, I.should be accused of cowardice or mismanage 
 ment. I coaciuded that the boat should go, but that I 
 would go in her. We armed ourselves, and started. I 
 took a blunderbuss and box of musket balls for my own 
 use ; ten men,, each armed with a cutlass only; five 
 white soldiers with their muskets, and the sergeant 
 with his. As we approached them, thep headed from 
 us, and slowly pulled away. As soon as we got near 
 enough, we commen-ceda fire on them ; they, perceiv- 
 ing we had nothing but small arms, turned head to 
 wards us, and commenced a hot fire; by this time we 
 were close to the beach, and almost within hail of them. 
 1 perceived that each vessel had as many as fifty meii. 
 on board, and I thought best to retreat as quick as pos- 
 sible, and get on board of the schooner, where I could 
 better suit them with cannon ball and grape, I had;' 
 given orders to the mandoor, before I left the schooner, 
 to get the anchor up, make sail, and beat in to my as- 
 sistance ; this he was diligently performing. The pi~ 
 rates might easily have taken me in the boat, if they 
 had had courage to pursue me ; but they were glad to 
 see me retreat, thinking I meant to give it up as a bad 
 job. The sergeant, so brave and anxious to start ir^ 
 the first place, never discharged his musket, or ro.sA 
 from. his seat in the stern sheets of the boat, during the 
 whole fracas. 
 
 When we got on board, I made short tacks, keeping- 
 tkem land-locked iin a small bay, like a flock of geese 
 in the corner of a fence ; and each tack, as we passed 
 them, they were well supplied with grape-shot and 
 liall from three small cannon, (the largest of them a 
 ^ix-pounder,) which constituted a broadside ; in return, 
 
I53 
 
 they kept up a constant fire from several small cannon. 
 This lasted about two hours, when I made a long 
 stretch to the wx^stward, thinking, when I tacked ship, 
 to fetch in among them and complete the job ; but ihf* 
 vfind died away. They left one vessel, dividingthem- 
 selves into the other two, got their oars out, and puikd 
 ofi'to sea, while the schooner lay like a log en the wa- 
 ter, and I had to stand still and see them go. They 
 had set fire to the vessel they left, and 1 sent eight or 
 ten hands in the boat to put it out, and take her into 
 custody. Meanwhile the sea breeze sprang up, and 1 
 went in chase of the other two ; but they had got too 
 much the start, and outsailed the schooner; but I kept 
 after them till they were out of sight. L boarded a 
 Chinese vessel, that was coming from the direction in 
 \vhich they were steering. The captain told me that 
 he passed close by them, and they were very much da- 
 maged; that they were frapping their vessels together 
 with ropes and rattans. 1 tacked ship, and stood for 
 the shore, and picked up my boat and^piize — only one 
 man wounded among us, who had his hand shot of!" 
 I continued to cruise along the coast, after this skir- 
 mish, for a couple of weeks, but found no more pirates 
 on that coast that season: Samoorah stood exposed in 
 the cabin stairway, or, as the sea term is, companion^ 
 diiring the fracas, undaunted, and seemingly destitute 
 of fear ; for when I smiled, she would do the same. 
 
 The Malays are so indifferent and indolent, that I 
 could not trust them to look out through the night : so 
 I slept in the daytime, that I might be the better pre- 
 pared to perform that duty myself As I went forward 
 to take a look ahead, one morning about two o'clock. 
 
there were three small vessels steering straight for us. 
 They had the very rig and appearance of pirates. I 
 ordered the quartermaster (or, as the Malays term them, 
 gummiOoda, helmsman, at any rate,| to put the helm 
 up. I intended to run stem on to the largest vessel, 
 thinking to sink her and get her out of the way, so 
 that I might the more easily subdue the other two ; but 
 the fellow put the helm up and let it loose again, incon- 
 sequence of which, the schooner «hot past them. 1 
 hailed them several times before we got abreast of them, 
 but received no answer. I told a Frenchman, one of 
 the soldiers, that had charge of the six-pounder, to 
 awake them ; he understood the hint, took aim, and cut 
 the foremast out of one of them. They vi- ere soon wide 
 awake, and began to sing out, "Orang Java ! Orang 
 Java!" that is, they vv'ished us to understand that they 
 were people of Java. I told them, if they were people 
 of Java, they must come to anchor immediately. This 
 they readily complied with, and I wore ship and came 
 to anchor near them. The mandoor came to me, de- 
 siring me not to go too near them; so sure vi^ere the 
 Malays themselves that they were pirates. I hailed 
 them, and told their commanders to come on board with 
 their papers, or passports. They came, and I found 
 them to be merchant vessels, belonging to Sherburn, a 
 small seaport between Teagal and Batavia. I took 
 this opportunity to send the man that had his hand shot 
 off, and the prize, into Poecaiongon, with a letter to the 
 Resident. 
 
 After cruising a week longer, and hearing or see- 
 ing no more pirates, T returned, and came to anchor at 
 Poccalongon. The Resident became very fiiendly to 
 
rne, and told me he v/ishcd me to come and spend the 
 evenings with him when I could make it convenient. 
 As I was an American, and he had heard of the glo- 
 rious exploits of the Yankies, during the late war w^ith 
 Great Britain, he loved to hear me discourse about 
 them. I was there introduced into first rate company, 
 and invited to parties. The commander of the garri- 
 son made a feast, to celebrate the birthday of his first 
 born, then one year old. Myself and Samoorah had 
 to help to make up the company. There was a table 
 spread for the respectable Chinese that were invited, 
 one for the Europeans, one for the Arabs, one for the 
 Persians, and one for the Malays. 
 
 The females are held in such minority there, that 
 one table serves for all, or ever^^ nation. The Malays 
 are not fond of spirituous Jiquors, especially the fe- 
 males. When the evening was about half spent, 1 found 
 Samoorah at the back of my chair, begging me to re- 
 tire from the company. She had been sipping a little 
 sangaree with the ladies, to be in the fashion. I told 
 her it would not appear decent to leave the company 
 till it broke up. She returned to her company ; but it 
 'ivas not long before she was at the back of my chair 
 again, and begged me to retire with her. The best of 
 the sport had just commenced, and I did not like to 
 leave it, I perceived she felt the bad effects of the 
 sangaree, and w^as very much ashamed about it. I 
 thought I \vould put her out of the way for a while; 
 so I poured out a glass of good Holland gin, and, pre- 
 senting it to her, told her she must drink it, and that 
 she would feel better. She took it in her hand, looked 
 at it, then at me, and hesitated. " Don't fear," said I, 
 
15& 
 
 '* drink it." She down with it, through grief, I ex- 
 pect. She went away, but soon returned, and could 
 scarcely stand. I called to a servant, and told him to 
 conduct me to a bed-room; I took her up in my arms,, 
 followed the servant, and laid her on the bed, thinking 
 to return to the company myself; but I \vas mistaken^ 
 for she held me fast. I lay dawn by her, thinking she 
 would soon get a55leep, and then I could leave her. 
 After half an hour, being sure she was fast asfecp, I 
 tried it, but was again mistaken ; she had a sure grip 
 on me, and I had to stay with her till morning, and 
 lose all the delights of the party. Never after this, 
 while I was with her, would she taste a drop of liquor,, 
 or go with me where it was used, if she knew it. Be^ 
 fore I left Griss^3a, in the schooner with Frederick, I 
 took a solemn oath not to drink any more liquor; and 
 while I kept my vow, I prospered. But, no sooner 
 did I take hold of drinking again, than I began to go 
 down in credit, character, and circumstances. But, as 
 yet, I had not gone so far, but that I could keep sober 
 through the day. The passage to fame and glory was 
 noAV clear for me. The Resident bad promised to be- 
 friend me all that lay in his power, telling me that he 
 eame to Java, from Holland, a poor cabin boy; and 
 added that his cash, and other property th€n amounted 
 to 600,000 rupees. He also informed me that I could 
 do as well, if I looked out sharp. I sent a letter to De 
 Groetj desiring him to send a man to navigate his 
 schooner home, her time having nearly expired. But 
 he returned me a favourable answer, making me good 
 promises, and desiring me to stay by the schooner, and 
 return with her to Grissea. I concluded to comply 
 
157 
 
 ■with De Groets request. But before we set sail, I 
 told Samoorah that 1 had a desire to see the family 
 with whom she had been brought up, where she cam*.* 
 from when she came to me. She had previously in- 
 formed me that her parents both died when she was 
 but five years of age. At first she did not seem will- 
 ing, being, as might be supposed, a little ashamed for 
 absconding so abruptly. But 1 urged her to comply, 
 telling her that none would dare to insult her while 
 she was under my protection. She conducted me to 
 the place, and we were heartily w^elcomed by a Chi- 
 nese lady, who kept a large store. In a short time the 
 house w^as full, and surrounded by her former youth- 
 ful companions. This iscene, to me, was highly inte- 
 resting. I could not but sympathize with th^ir feelings 
 The lost sheep was found, and this was her favourite; 
 home. The lady received her with motherly kind- 
 ness, and the tears of affection and joy stood in her 
 eyes. She treated me with great respect: the table 
 was spread with all the dainties which heart could 
 wish. But when we w^ere about to take our leave, tho 
 gcene was so aftecting, that though I had a sincere re- 
 gard and love for Samoorah, I freely gave her her 
 choice to stay, or go with me. I told her if she went 
 with me, I should use her as well as I had done while 
 she had been with me; but, if it was her desire, she 
 was welcome to stay. She hesitated ; it was hard for 
 her to leave the place of her youthful enjoyments : but 
 she said she would go with me ; and I was by no 
 means dissatisfied. When we departed, the Chinese 
 lady loaded three servants with fruit and sweetmeats. 
 MVkd sent them to the boat with ug. When the schoon- 
 
i-58 
 
 e/s time had expired that she was to cruise in the 
 government service, I took a freight of tobacco, of a 
 Chinese merchant, and proceeded to Batavia. When 
 I arrived, 1 found De Groet there, who was not a little 
 pleased to find that I had earned him 200 rupees, 
 which he little expected, viz. the amount of the freight. 
 There lay a large ship at Batavia, ready for sea, and 
 bound for Holland. She was 1800 tons, and had un- 
 common good accommodations for passengers. Many 
 ladies and gentlemen had waited a year to take pas- 
 sage in her. Her captain was very anxious to have 
 me go with him, and offered me double the wages that 
 his other hands received. But I considered myself 
 better off^ and refused his offer. This seems to have 
 been an intc rposition of Providence in my behalf; for 
 the ship sailed with nearly 400 souls on board. And 
 when she had got about 400 miles from land, a squall 
 struck her, which threw her on beam ends; her guns 
 got loose, and some of her cargo shifted and fell to the 
 lee side. She went to the bottom so suddenly, that 
 only the captain, and five of his men, escaped from 
 going down with the ship. They sprang into a boat 
 that hung at the quarter of the ship, cut the lashings 
 and tackle falls, and so got clear. Two of them starved 
 to death hefore they reached the shore. Here, again, 
 the truth was manifested, that it is better to be born 
 lucky than rich. 
 
 \Ve made sail, and after a fortnight's passage, ar- 
 rived at Grissea. This was like coming home from a 
 long voyage; for Grissea is a very pleasant place, and' 
 there I had the most delightful enjoyments of my life 
 My friend Smith w^as there yet. and all had been anti- 
 
-i o'J 
 
 cipating my return with pleasure. De Groet had not 
 yet retiuneci from Batavia. Tiie schooner was haul- 
 ed up high and dry. My wages were going on, and 
 1 had nothing to do but recreate where 1 pleased. We 
 were visited by many of the respectable part of society, 
 who w^ere entertained with sumptuous feasts. They 
 all seemed to be very friendly ; but few of them friend- 
 ly enough to return the compliment. I frequently be- 
 held the American and English sailors staggering 
 about the town, in search of a grog shop, with their 
 tarry clothes patched with different colours, blue 
 trowsers, with white canvass, and red shirts w^ith blue 
 patches; and I would often think how many days and 
 months I had followed the same disgraceful habits. — 
 The question in my mind w^as, — Shall I ever be in the 
 same situation again? But I could only answer that 
 I knew^ not. The conclusion of this little book, how- 
 ever, wnll show how much lower I fell than I ever 
 had been before. De Groet returned home; andw^hen 
 rhad settled with him, J quit his service, as I thought 
 he did not offer me ^vages enough : and that was -the 
 time I missed it; for his offer was reasonable. I had 
 become so fleshy, that my clothes w^ere getting too 
 small for me; and being filled w^th pride, I imagined 
 that every body else thought as much of me as 1 did 
 of myself. I left De Groet, and w^ent to Surabaah, to 
 the Spaniard's house who helped me to get away from 
 the frigate. I took a -room, and lived in style for a 
 w^hile. There w^as an Englishman w^ho had a trading 
 ship that lay in the harbour, of which he w^as captain 
 when she went to sea. But while in port he kept a 
 store on shore. He wanted me to take charge of the 
 
16G 
 
 iship while she underwent reparation, and then sail 
 with him as mate. This 1 undertook ; but we did not 
 agree. He found fault because the work did not go 
 on fast enough. 1 told him to ^end me hands enough 
 then. He said my face was too red for him. This al- 
 luded to too bad a course, and pointed too straight to 
 the truth for me. I got angry, and left him. 
 
 This, again, proved to be a fortunate circumstance 
 for me: for the succeeding voyage of this ship proved 
 fatal to the captain and his crew. The name o( th^ 
 captain v/as Steverson. The true account is as fol» 
 lows : 
 
 Steverson had brought his wife with hitn from Eng- 
 land, who had recently expressed a desire to return 
 home. His wife had also an English girl with her as 
 a servant. With this servant girl Steverson had a 
 pretended falling out, and turned her away. He then 
 procured a passage to England for his wife.; and, as 
 -quick as she was gone, he took his servant girl home 
 to supply the place of his wife. He got his ship ready, 
 took his concubine on board, and sailed for the island 
 of Mentor, near the straits of Malacca, where he com- 
 menced smuggling from the Dutch government; but 
 was boarded by a number of piratical prows from the 
 coast of Malacca, who massacred him aiid his concu- 
 bine, and took the ship. That ended his career. I still 
 iived on shore as a gentleman^ till my cash was ex- 
 pended. Till then I thought I had friends. But now 
 I found them scarce. At last^I had to humble myself, 
 and take the low station- of quartermaster on board of 
 & brig, among a number of Frenchmen. I had now 
 to work again. This was in no way agreeable, in that 
 
161 
 
 hot climate. Smith still continued my only friend, and 
 as Samoorah was far advanced in pregnane}^ I left her 
 with him and his wife, (a modest, likely girl, with 
 whom Samoorah w^as very intimate,) at Grissea, while 
 I performed a voyage to Samarang and Batavia. — 
 While on this voyage, the cholera broke out on the 
 island of Java, and raged with destructive sw^ai^ Some 
 of our crew shared its fatal sting. When I returned, 
 the first salutation I met, as I was entering the door of 
 Smith's house, from an old servant, with his eyes full 
 of tears, \vas, that Smith was dead, and that he had 
 been under the ground but about two hours. This 
 was a shock to me. I felt as if wholly forsaken, when 
 I found that my last and best friend was dead. Deep 
 solemnity pervaded my bosom. But I had one conso- 
 lation ; which was, that Samoorah was still alive, 
 though she had had a child, and it was dead. This I 
 have ever since considered a blessing ; as I think that 
 "the Great God saw that, as I was getting farther and 
 farther into the habit of intemperance, He could bet- 
 ter take care of the child than I was likely to do. I 
 staid at Smith's house that night; and the next day 
 took Samoorah vv^ith me, and started in a passage ca- 
 noe for Surabaah. • While on the passage, as we were 
 discoursing, Samoorah expressed a wonder that Smith 
 could be so little concerned, during his short sickness, 
 about his real situation in the sight of God. I said, 
 " Why should he be concerned ? he was a Christian ;'' 
 and I was so silly as to feel and cherish a boasting sen- 
 sation while uttering these w^ords, as if the name of 
 Christian was enough to save white people. But she 
 knew he was wicked, and began to repeat seme of his 
 
 11 
 
162 
 
 receot wicked acts, as much as to say, " These he had 
 need to repent of;'' and this implied that there was a 
 Redeemer. She never, I am sure, had heard of or 
 seen a New Testament, or heard a gospel sermon ; this, 
 then, plainly shows me, that a deep, but latent, dim plan 
 of the gospel is implanted in the most illiterate souf, 
 and all they want is, the enlightening influence of the 
 revealed word, to direct them how" to get and experi- 
 ence the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit. I 
 was ignorant of these things at that time, for I went on 
 swilling down strong drink, and cursing like all the 
 heedless multitude; and none was more grieved than 
 Samoorah ; many hours, to my sorrow, have I kept 
 her in patient waiting at the door of a tavern or house, 
 where, with the rough group, I have been drinking 
 and carousing, heedless of her frequent and kind en- 
 treaties for me to retire or go home. This treatment 
 to her has lashed my guilty conscience many a time 
 since then. 
 
 The cholera raged distressingly through that coun« 
 iry for about three months. In the three principal 
 towns, Batavia., Samarang, and Surabaah, there were 
 from. 80 to 100 picked up in a day, dead in the streets, 
 ff I took a walk a shoit distance through the town, I 
 was sure to see from a dozen to twenty funeral proces- 
 sions before I returned. This truly w^as a season of 
 mourning. I have attended them from the time they 
 were taken till they were laid in their graves, and was 
 so insensible that 1 thought little of it, as though it had 
 nothing to do with me. When the cholera had aba- 
 ted, there arrived a ship belonging and bound to the 
 Isle of France. Some of the crew left her, and the 
 
163 
 
 ■taplain (whose name was Black) wanted a second mate. 
 My necessity vvas such, that though I was warned of 
 the cruel, tyrannical, ugly disposition of captain Black, 
 I concludtd to try him. I agreed to go wnth him for 
 $40 per month ; got tw^o months' in advance; gave 
 half of it to Samoorah, and procured for her a good 
 rhome, with a rich old lady, who took her as a compa- 
 nion. She staid on board till the anchor was away, 
 that is, out of the ground ; she then got into the canoe, 
 and we sailed away. That was the last I ever saw of 
 Samoorah. It was a solemn day for me. I don't think 
 I ever felt so sorrowful before or since, though I have 
 been in much deeper afHicticns, 
 
 We sailed to Samarang, and thence to Batavia. By 
 this time I had learned that my captain was black by 
 nature, as well as by name, though he was a Scotch- 
 man, and had a fair white vskin. 1 w:as taken with the 
 Java fever, that is, the ague and fever ; and th-e captain 
 used language too ridiculous to write, swearing that 
 nothing ailed me ; ana to irritate me, when the fever 
 came on, he would set a man to splitting wood over my 
 head, though there was room enough about the deck. 
 He went on shore at Batavia to ship some more hands, 
 and told the little deceitful mate we had, to go on board 
 of another ship and borrow^ a long-boat to fetch offsome 
 fresh water ; and if he could not get one, tc get our own 
 out. The mate went on board of another ship, a^d got 
 so intoxicated instead of getting a long-boat, that he did 
 not get back till just before the captain came on board 
 at night. During this time I worked my best, as for 
 dife, with very few hands, to get cur boat out, which 
 vleaked so that she filled as quick as she struck the 
 
164 
 
 water; and notwithstanding the captain couid not but 
 perceive that the mate was drunk, he thought best, for 
 some reason, to place the blame on me. My folly was, 
 that instead of getting the long-boat out, I might have 
 hailed a boat and gone on shore, bag and baggage, and 
 so got clear of the brutish tyrant. 
 
 The same day that we sailed from Batavia, by the 
 captain's orders, I served out to the sailors a month's 
 provisions, which consisted of a small quantity of salt 
 iish, and gee, that is, stinking buffalo butter mixed with 
 fat. When they got their provisions, the indolent Ma- 
 lays (of whom our crew were chiefly composed) hove 
 their fish in the stern of the long-boat, which stood on 
 deck, and let it lie there till it got wet with rain, and 
 rotted. I had told them frequently to put it below, for 
 the captain would not allow them any more until the 
 month was out ; this proved true. Fortunately for 
 them, the ship was laden with rice, of whichthey could 
 use as they wanted ; they had nothing but rice and salt 
 to subsist on for three weeks, and my living was not 
 much better, although I had agreed with the captain 
 to have my victuals out of the cabin, such as he him- 
 self had.. There were constantly several of the crew 
 unwell, and the captain would order me to send them 
 on the quarter-deck once or twice each day. Some of 
 them were so sick as to be unable to w^alk, but the cap- 
 tain, rather than exhibit the least disposition of benevo- 
 lence in going to them, onl};- the length of the ship, 
 would compel them to crawl to him ; and I have seen 
 him beat a man with a large rattan, as big as my thumb, 
 which he kept for the purpose, and in three hours the 
 man was a corpse. He would stand over the poor 
 
165 
 
 creatures, and use the most horrid, ridiculous impreca- 
 tions and oaths, enough to make the very devils asha- 
 med. "Run out your tongue, you Mahomcdan b — ," 
 he would say. The poor confused creature would stick 
 his tongue out, but not far enough to suit the monster ; 
 rap over his head comes the rattan, accompanied by a 
 most horrid imprecation ; such were his daily obla- 
 tions. I had at that time bnt little knowledge of reli- 
 gion, but I have stood and looked at this Black mon- 
 ster, and wondered how God could let him live. I 
 was sometimes tempted to join with the crew, secure 
 the captain, mate, and a scoundrel of a passenger we 
 had, and run the ship to some place where w^e could 
 get clear of her, and leave her; but I had to grin and 
 bear it. 
 
 We arrived at, the Isle of France, after a passage of 
 six weeks ; and I w^as all joy, in hopes soon to be de- 
 livered from worse than bondage. The quarantine 
 boat came alongside ; and as our captain had forgotten 
 to bring a bill of heahh with him from Batavia, which 
 is always necessary, and the cholera had been raging 
 in Java, the doctors refused to let us come into the har- 
 bour, but ordered us to get our anchor up and stay at 
 sea, or go to some desolate island for the term of forty 
 days. These tidings struck a terror on me, like the 
 jsecond death ; but there was no remedy. We got under 
 way again, and beat up to a small island called the Plat- 
 form. Under the lee of this island we came to anchor, 
 and had much trouble to keep the rocks from chafing 
 our cables off. I contrived a plan to prevent this, by 
 buoying the cables up from the bottom with em.pty wa- 
 ter casks ; and sore abuse was all the recompense I 
 
166 
 
 got for it. After enduring another fortniglit in torment" 
 with the Black beast, there arrived a brig from Bata- 
 via, whose captain had net forgot his bill of health, 
 and was admitted into the harbour. This was fortunate 
 for us ; for as this brig sailed from Batavia after our 
 ship, they could not prevent us from going in. The 
 guard ship, a British frigate, was also in quarantine, 
 in consequence of her boat having boarded us previous 
 to the doctor's boat, when we first arrived. As I ha4 
 been long enough in the ship to earn the two months' 
 wages I had received in Java; I determined to leave it 
 immediately. Black insisted I should not, and refused 
 to let me go on shore, or to allow a boat to come along- 
 side of the ship, that I could get ashore in ; so I was= 
 under the necessity of taking my own four-oared boat 
 that my father and mother gave me, and swam ashore. 
 It was on Sunday, and I went to seek for an officer of 
 justice; had I but known that justice far poor sailors^ 
 had no residence on that island, I might have saved my- 
 self the trouble of looking for him. Captaim Black,- 
 with three gens-d'-armes, (that is, constables,) met me- 
 in the street, and he ordered them to take me to prison,, 
 and keep me till he should call for me. I asked him 
 how I became his slave? but it availed me nothing; 
 he was a rich man, a shipowner, and to prison I was? 
 compelled to go. 
 
 This captain Black was an outlaw, who had to flee 
 from England. He went to Calcutta, and had to leave 
 there also, and take refuge on the Isle of France^ 
 where many of the inhabitants, and chief in authority, 
 were composed of such characters as himself I was 
 thrust into a dark, filthy room, among about a dozen. 
 
167 
 
 of the most miserable looking human beings that ever 
 existed, about half covered with filthy rags; and their 
 skin so dirty, that it would puzzle a geni to tell whe- 
 ther they were whites, blacks, mulattoes, or Indians. 
 But grog was their delight and desire; for the iron 
 door was scarcely shut, when they all began to dance 
 around me, some singing, and others demanding mo- 
 ney to pay my entrance. I thought if I should stay 
 long there, I should pay dear enough, without giving 
 money; but I could not get clear, so I handed them a 
 rupee, and they procured a gallon of new rum. I re- 
 mained there two days and nights, and all we had to 
 eat was a small tub of boiled rice, twice each day, and 
 about a quarter of a pound of salt beef. I managed it 
 so as to send a note to the captain of the frigate, that 
 lay there as guard ship, to prevent the slave-trade, and 
 he ordered Captain Black to set me at liberty. The 
 captain of the frigate befriended me through animosity 
 to Captain Black, because he had been the means of 
 the frigate's being a fortnight at quarantine. 
 
 I got my chest and clothes out of the ship, to a board- 
 ing house, and I was constantly in search of a chance 
 to get back to Java. But the recent cholera struck so 
 much dread on merchants, that they were afraid to 
 send their vessels to that island. I feJt very much de- 
 jected, and cast down ; my whole desire was to get to 
 Java again; and, though [ could get employ to go to 
 other places, I could not endure the thought. To alle- 
 viate my drooping spirit, I began to add the spirits of 
 death, and went on from bad to worse. When I went 
 10 speak to a captain or merchant, to solicit employ, I 
 was generally so top-heavvr that they would spurn me 
 
from them with disdain. My cash was soon expend- 
 ed, and my clothes fast absconding for liquor. Oh! 
 what a corroding evil is the thirst for liquor! How 
 could I have taken a more perverse method ? I took 
 a short voyage, in a small sloop, 00 miles, to the island 
 of Bourbon ; and left the sloop as soon as we returned, 
 to look for a chance to go to Java ; but was again dis- 
 appointed, and commenced drinking again, till the lit- 
 tle money I had left was expended. 
 
 I got a berth in a schooner, and took a voyage to- 
 Madagascar. We arrived at a harbour in that island 
 called Anguensee. We were nine in number on board, 
 and the women came on board, the first evening, in 
 such numbers, that I had eighteen to set on shore the 
 next morning. When they came on board, the captain 
 would give them about a half a gill of new rum each, 
 and they would dance with such dexterity, that the 
 schooner would tremble. The inhabitants of that island 
 are next to cannibals. Cattle abound there; and the 
 natives will catch them, cut their throats, and each one 
 will begin to slash away through their hides, cutting 
 out junks any where, which they clap on the coals, 
 and, when roasted, they yaffle it down v/ithout salt or 
 bread. Some of them use boiled rice. They seldom 
 ' take the trouble to turn a creature over, vv^hen there 
 are others near at hand. 
 
 This is a beautiful fertile island; any thing will 
 grow on it. The British have frequently attempted to 
 civilize the inhabitants, and settle there. But the me- 
 thod they took with them was always so full of in- 
 trigue, that they could not succeed: they would make 
 the inhabitants many promises,, for the purpose of get- 
 
ioO 
 
 ting permission to settle with them, which they did not 
 mean to perfbim; thinking, when once their foot-hold 
 was sure, they could subdue them by power. But they 
 were mistaken ; for, as soon as the natives found them 
 slack in fulfilling their promises, they would poison 
 the water, which killed part of them, and then iall on 
 the rest and massacre them. 
 
 A frigate from France was lying at an island on the 
 coast of Madagascar, called St. Mary's; the^^ were at- 
 tempting to make a settlement there, and had succeed- 
 ed m forcing the natives to the mainland of Madagas- 
 car. This frigate had left France eighteen months 
 previous, with over 600 men ; there were now only 
 120 left ; and when I w^nt on board of her, she had the 
 appearance of an hospital ; the sick were lying in every 
 direction about her decks; they were about giving it 
 up for a bad job. We took a cargo of rice, and return- 
 ed to the Isle of France. I left my vessel again, with 
 the intention of finding a passage to Java, let what would 
 stand in the way ; but was again unsuccessful, and again 
 to drinking I went. My clothes were all gone, but 
 one shirt and a pair of trowsers: with these 1 would 
 go out of town a mile or so each week, and get among 
 the flags or bushes -b}' a brook ; pull one off at a time,, 
 and wash them : and have to remain there all day for 
 them to dry. I had neither hat nor shoes ; no boaid- 
 ing-house, nor place nor means to get victuals, except 
 what I got through the charity of the British soldiers, 
 and now and then a sailor that chanced to come ashore 
 with a little money. M}- lodging was in one corner of 
 the guard-house. How different my situation now, to 
 what it was in Grissea, when I could stand in the piazza, 
 
17a 
 
 ^nd view the staggering tarry s-iilors passmg througft 
 the streets ! And what was th^ caiKse? Rum— nothing' 
 but rum ! and yet I would Dot take the hint. At last^ 
 1 was smitten with boils, so^re boils, from my hips to my 
 toes, so that I could scarcely hobble along. I made ap- 
 plication to get into the hospital. Inn there was no ad- 
 mittance for me — I was a Yankee. Besides the above 
 afflictions that I had brought upon myself, there was 
 one bodily infirmity more serious, that wsl< through the 
 effects of drinking ; I discharged something like a half- 
 pint of blood each day. I made my calculation to live 
 but a few years , and O reader ! whatever may be your 
 views of death, 1 think if I had died in the nr^iserable 
 state of mind I then retained, all would have been lost 
 forever : and I feel- unfeigned gratitude, that, though 
 through much more affliction, 1 have been spared to see 
 and feel my fally. I found out a remedy for my sores, 
 abated drinking a little, and got so that I could go about 
 again. 1 also found out a method, though a poor one> 
 by which I could gain a subsistence ; and that was, by 
 gathering what is commonly termed cat-tails, for beds. 
 They were large and plenty near the town ; the inha- 
 bitants knew not what to make of them, till I showed 
 ihem y but my work did not last long, for they sent their 
 negroes after them. Not being able to find a passage 
 to Java, and there being an English merchant ship there 
 that wanted hands, I shipped in her, thinking to get to 
 Java from Europe. We touched at St. Helena for wa- 
 ter and stores ; this was about four months after Na- 
 poleon died. We had 150 invalid troops on board, 
 with about 25 cabin passengers ; and there was much 
 anxiety to go and behold the place where Bony was 
 
171 
 
 Juried. Many of them v/er t ; but as I belonged totW 
 boat, 1 was deprived of th'i benefit, if it could liave been- 
 one. We sailed from St. Hr^lena. 
 
 In latitude 11 deg. nortii, our captain died. He was 
 a fine man. The second mate took charge of the ship, 
 the chief mate having left her at the Isle of France. — ■ 
 We had a long, hut pleasant passage, and arrived at 
 Portsmouth about the first of July, 1822^. I got my 
 wages, left the ship, and went to London by land. I- 
 resorted to public houses, and, for a while, as long as 
 my money lasted, forgoi all about Java. Sailors were 
 very plenty in London at that time, and many of them- 
 witliout victuals or lodgings. Il was hard to get employ- 
 ment on board of a ship at that time. 1 was glad to 
 take the first chance that ofFered^ and^ was fortunate 
 enough to get one with no trouble. 
 
 1 shipped in- a vessel called the Triton. We sailed 
 to the G'dlf of St. Lawrence, took a cargo of timber,- 
 and sailed again for Liverpool, in England. As we' 
 were steering out of the Gulf of Si. Lawrence, our cap- 
 tain shaped his course, as he thought, to clear Cape' 
 Breton Island ; and it was thick, cloudy v/eather, with 
 squalls of hail and rain. At eight o'clock in the eve- 
 ning I went to- the, wheel. It was my trick ; all the 
 rest of the w-atch were in the cook-house, to avoid the 
 rain. It appeared very black ahead ;. but I had no sus- 
 picion of its being land. I thought it was the lee set of 
 clouds ; it blew very hard, and we were sailing under 
 double reefed topsails and foresail. The mate, tvho had 
 the watch, went into the cabin for some purpose ; mean, 
 while, one of the apprentice lads who was in our watch, 
 kfl the cooK-house, and went forward to take a look 
 
ahead ; and it was well he did so ; for we were running 
 stem on to a mountainous shore, where the ship would 
 have been dashed in pieces, like oven wood, in fifteen 
 minutes, if she had struck the rocks, which were not 
 more than a mile distant. We rounded the ship to, 
 broadside to the wind, and just crawled off, Here 
 rigai'n is one manifestation that luck is better than 
 riches. 
 
 We steered for England, through constant storms^ 
 heavy gjjles, cold and wet. The ship leaked ail over 
 her, and we could not find a dry place to sleep, what 
 little chance we got to enjoy tliat privilege; and the 
 weather was such that we could get nothing dry. We 
 were running with a stilF south-west wind, and it was 
 very foggy. Our captain expected we were near the 
 mouth of the Irish channel ; but could not tell correct- 
 ly, as the sun had not appeared to view for many days. 
 All at once the wind died away, and a breeze from the 
 north-west sprang up, which dispersed the fog, and once 
 more saved the ship and our lives; for we were run- 
 ning stem on to the west coast of Ireland ; and had the 
 fog continued, nothing could have saved us : for night 
 was coming on, and we should have kept our course, as 
 the captain and mate reckoned we were 70 miles fur- 
 tlier south, which made them feel safe. 
 
 After one more gale, off the coast of Wales, we suc- 
 ceeded in getting safe to Liverpool. When sober, and 
 in my right mind, I still had the greatest desire to re- 
 turn to Java, v^'iiich 1 might have done, easy enough, 
 had I only kept sober when on shore. But this seemed 
 impossible : and I am often astonished that 1 possessed 
 such a perverse nature, and practised so much to my 
 
1T3 
 
 hurt. Ai;er carousing like a fool for three months, 1 
 haci the good luck to get a berth in a laige brig, bound 
 to the coast of Africa, for gum, ivory, and palm oiL 
 There came up a tornado before we sailed, and blew 
 the shipping in the docks all through each other, so that 
 some of the captains and merchants were puzzled to 
 iind their own vessels. Several ships were wliolly dis- 
 masted, and one schooner sunk in the dock. Thirty- 
 six were killed and wounded in the city, by the falling 
 of chimnies. Our brig liad her head knocked off, and 
 her stern stove in. 
 
 When she was repaired, we set sail, which was on 
 the loth of December ; but it was cold enough to skin 
 a gipsy. A fair wind, however, soon made it v/armer ; 
 for, on Christmas day, we were running close past Ma- 
 deira, with linen trowsers on, and nothing but our shirts. 
 It was warm enough ; and we steered on till we made 
 the coast of Africa, one morning, at a distance of about 
 16 miles. Although we did not approach nearer the 
 shore in that place, yet the Africans came off in great 
 nunibers, in their little canoes, with rice, pigs, goats, ele- 
 phants' teeth, soiTje gold dust, and gum. The first thing 
 they called for was, a bottle of rum ; and they would 
 not trade till they got it. We had ten puncheons on 
 board, to be prepared to satisfy them. This was the 
 stuff that made the good bargains whh them for our 
 captain. 
 
 Many of these Africans were entirely naked ; others 
 had a bit ot*a m.at round their middle. We were still 
 sailing onward, along the coast, and they staid on boai^d 
 till sunset, some of them who were more anxious to de- 
 oart than their comrades, would get into their canoes 
 
.74 
 
 and paddle off a small distance from the brig ; theh 
 they would stop, and call their mates, who were sitting 
 on our vessel's deck, drinking and jabbering; they 
 would start up, look as wild as deers, spring overboard, 
 and swim to their canoes like tish, though that coast k 
 thronged with ravenous sharks. Vv^e had a native of 
 that country on board, who had been to England with 
 the captain, the preceding voyage, and was now return- 
 ing. The captain expected him to abide in the brig 
 with us. But he pulled off iiis clothes, and fluni? them 
 on deck, and was about to spring into a canoe ; but the 
 captain called him back, and made him a present of a 
 musket, a keg of powder, and some other articles, 
 which, I think likely, made him .1 great man among his 
 native companions, for he went off with them, rejoicing. 
 We steered along the coast, up the bite of Benin, and 
 entered the mouth of old Bony river, near the Equator. 
 "Here we moored the brig with two chain cables and a 
 swivel, built a roof over her from stem to stern, and 
 ■commenced trading with the natives. 
 
 We had a room fitted up in the cabin as a store, 
 where were depositerl all sorts of refuse goods. We 
 had, also, boxe3 of gH muskets cleaned, and made to 
 look v/ell, small cannon, and plenty of balls, about 500 
 barrels of powder, tobacco, and 15 or 20,000 bars of 
 iron. Money is of little use among them. All their 
 reckonings are made by the value of a bar of iron. No 
 merchant there is p'M^mitted to buy or sell till the king 
 has been on board to break trade. And sometimes ho 
 lets vessels lie there a fortnight, before he'll come: and 
 when he comes, he comes in splendour, in a vvar canoe, 
 about sixty feet in length, with sixty men, thirty on each 
 
175 
 
 side, with paddles. His band of ini'sic always atleiKk 
 liim, consisting of turn turns, brass pans, and pieces of 
 plai/k. vvith splinters fixed on them, all composing a 
 sound somethiag like a tune. 
 
 Tbe king always carrirs his father's bones w^ith him 
 in a bag. These, he thinks, are the means of giving 
 him the same prosperity i-.is father had^ And always, 
 when he is approaching a vessel, to break trade, he 
 dashes an egg ogain.^t her side. This, he thinks, pre- 
 ^ents intiigue. He jmust also have a handsome present, 
 which answers the purpose of custom-house fees. No 
 merchant, or any inhabitant in his country, is allowed 
 to wear pantaloons. This is for his own honour. The 
 young people, both male and t'einale, go stajk naked till 
 they are fifteen years of age. 
 
 While we lay there, we had four of the king's sons, 
 who remained on board to learn the English language. 
 They were nearly of one age, about 15, (as the king 
 had a number of wives.) They would dress themselves 
 w4]en they heard their father was coming on board.— 
 Their dress consisted in washing themselves in a large 
 tub, and fastening a string of sl.eils around their naked 
 bodies. We had six of the natives en board, who are 
 called pullaw-ay-boys. These w^e kept to do the work 
 in the boats, and pull ihem to and from the shore ; as., 
 in that hot climate, it w^as dangerous for white sailors to 
 be exposed in the burning sun. One of these boys could 
 speak Engiibh. 1 asked him, one day, what made black 
 people love to sell each other, and send them off in ships 
 never to return to their countiy and friends? "0!'' 
 said he, " slave- trade dat good ah trade, go up de ribber, 
 kesh um neger, or ma be buy um, he wak in e canoo^ 
 
176 
 
 fesh um down, he wak ashore, go to de house, bum by 
 come ship, he wak to canoo agin, tak um board ; he 
 wak up ship side, dis no much trouble, dis slave-trade 
 good ah trade. Dis pah-n oil trade dat ah debble ah 
 trade ; must go pick um oiT of tree, poun um, to get 
 stone out, den must boil um, den put um in a hogshead, 
 rool um in e canoo, fesh em board ship, den hise um 
 up, den stow um awa in e hold, dat ah debble ah much 
 work." " But," said I, " suppose the king should sell 
 you, how would you like it?" **0!" said he, " king 
 no sell ah me, me good fren for de king; king no sell 
 ah me." This is depraved human nature, never mind 
 who sinks, if I can but swim. 
 
 The object of their devotion is a thing like a snake, 
 called a guanna; but they call it juju. With this they 
 make a great fuss, and would massacre the person that 
 would dare to kill one of them, though in the West In- 
 dies, and other countries where they are found, they 
 are considered most delicious food. As the king was 
 returning in his canoe from a visit to the juju-house, 
 our captain ordered an eighteen pounder to be got 
 ready, to salute him as he passed. While loading and 
 firing this cannon, by the mismanagement of our mate, 
 in not stopping the venuhole, it went off, while one of 
 our best men was ramming the charge home. Tlte fatal 
 consequence was, he lost his arm. The sharks are so 
 numerous and ferocious there, that they will nab a man 
 as quick as he is in the water. This was proved a 
 short distance from our brig, while we lay there. A 
 canoe, with two men in it, capsized ; one of them saved 
 himself by springing into another canoe ; but the other 
 had his entrails torn out, in less than two minutes after 
 
177 
 
 he struck the water. About the same time there wa« 
 a canoe came alongside, with a lad in her, who had 
 just been attacked by a shark, lost his hand, besides 
 two other wounds. He had been fishing, and had got 
 out of the canoe to pull up the stake that she was fas- 
 tened to, when the shark made a sweep for him. Our 
 doctor amputated his arm ; we kept him on board for 
 a month, ti} he got weU ; he would most likely har^ 
 died, had it not been for surgical aid. 
 
 On the opposite shore of the river, lies the kingGGra 
 of New Calebar. Here the natives worship the shark, 
 and make a large procession every year ; a large mul- 
 titude assemble in canoes on the river, with a human 
 victim, who is bound hands and feet ; at their set time, 
 he is thrown overboard, and floats with the tide till a 
 shark takes him ; then there is a shout from the whole 
 multitude — a tremendous sound. The French, Por- 
 tuguese, and Spaniards, were those that came there for 
 slaves ; and notwithstanding the mouth of the river 
 was guarded by a British frigate, they succeeded ia 
 getting out with ships loaded with them. We lay there 
 four months ; got a full cargo of oil, gum, and ivory ; 
 threw the roof of the ship overboard ; and with difl> 
 culty got over the bar, that extended 10 or 12 miles 
 outside of the mouth of the river, and was dangeroue, 
 as our brig drew 18 feet water, and there was only i9| 
 on the bar, and a swell running. 
 
 We were three months on our passage to England, 
 and had to ride five days in quarantine in sight of the 
 city of Liverpool. The longing desire to enjoy the 
 pleasing allurements of this city, so long anticipated, 
 and now within our view, made these five days appear 
 12 
 
longer than the whole voyage had been. I had about' 
 $60 coming to me, and six beautiful grey parrots that 
 brought me $5 each, and some other articles, making 
 the amount about $100. How often had I reckoned 
 with the strictest precision every penny, making calcu- 
 lations what 1 should do ! Never did an old miser 
 make more calculations of his chink, than I did of my 
 wages, and what I meant to do when I should get on 
 shore; and so plainly did I view the evil, that I set up 
 the strongest resolution, as I thought^ against intempe- 
 rance. But alas! where were all these good determi- 
 nations when we got on shore, and came near the first 
 grog-shop or tavern ? They had lied ; yet I frequent- 
 ly heard them, like bees, humming in my ears. Self- 
 reflection, the instinct of past resolutions, robbed me of 
 all, or at least the best of my vain pleasure. I bought 
 some first-rate clothing, and felt as big as anybody. 
 The theatre, dance-room, and public-house, were my 
 only haunts. One night, I staid too long at a public- 
 house before I started to go to the place where I meant 
 to lodge, and they were all in bed when I got there; 
 so I sat down on a door stoop, and fell asleep — had a 
 little too much beer on board. The watchman came 
 oiong, and began to rouse me, inquiring where I board- 
 ed ? As I did not like to disturb the people where I 
 boarded at that time of night, I told him that I had no 
 boarding-house. He insisted I had. I asked him if 
 lie would conduct me home, if I told him where I 
 boarded? He said he would. I told him I boarded 
 in No. 63 Cherry-street, New-York. '' Come," said 
 I, " show me the way.'^ He got angry, called another 
 watchman, and they conducted me to the coal-hole, the 
 
179 
 
 rity prison, under ground. I was locked into a filthy 
 room, annong about thirty of the vilest wretches the city 
 could afford. It was now Sunday morning, and the 
 prospect w^as, that I would have to remain there until 
 Monday noon. Bad as I was, I did not mingle in dis- 
 course with this group. I found out that, by paying 
 a small sum, I could get into a decent, comfortable 
 room ; this I did, and was accommodated with what I 
 called for. The next day, I was arranged, with about 
 fifty of all characters but good, in a long passage un- 
 der ground, to be called up before the assembled court 
 as our names stood on the list. As it was near morn- 
 ing w^hen I was brought in, I had to wait till the last, 
 and had to put all the patience I was possessed of in 
 exercise. When I was called up, the judge asked what 
 was my crime ? The watchman was there, and made 
 answer, that I had used insulting language, at a late 
 hour of the night. Said the judge to me, " What was 
 you doing in the street, an'd insulting the watchman, 
 at a late hour, for ?' I told him it was an early hour, 
 for it was but two o'clock; that I did not think of in- 
 sulting any man ; as it was so early, I did not wish to 
 disturb anybody to let me in ; I then told what I had 
 said to the watchman, which set the whole court in a 
 roar of laughter; and the judge told me to go about 
 my business. 
 
 My money was soon out of my reach, and I had to 
 traverse the docks, among the shipping, in search of a 
 berth. My best clothes were already in the pawn- 
 broker's shop. Now, again, the good resolutions that 
 I had formed during the last, and many voyages pre- 
 vious, came fresh and with double weight to my me- 
 
180 
 
 rnory— but too late; and, as before, I began to lays 
 foundation on which to raise another fabric of deter- 
 minations, when I should get something to build with, 
 I found a berth on board of a ship bound for Belfast, in 
 Ireland, there to take passengers for America. On the 
 short passage to Belfast, we had a tremendous gale, 
 and came near being cast away on the Isle of Man ; 
 our ship was very lightly manned, a heavy ship, and I 
 left her as soon as we arrived at Belfast. I got into a 
 boaiding-house, where I was well treated lor a fort- 
 night. I got a berth in a large brig belonging to Bel- 
 fast, and bound to Demarara : the captain, mate, and 
 •\11 hands Irish, but myself There is such a stigma 
 on the character of this people, that I knew not what 
 would be the result of my being alone among them : 
 but I did not fear, and soon found out I had no occa- 
 sion to fear — for they were the best set of fellows that 
 ever I got among. We arrived at Demarara, after a 
 passage of eight weeks, and commenced discharging 
 our cargo. Here again, as usual, I began to get dis- 
 contented, and I thought I wanted to get to the States. 
 I left the Irish brig, though well treated ; and fell in 
 with a good-natured Scotchman on shore, who gave 
 me the privilege of occupying an empty house, to keep 
 me from being taken up by the patrol, or town-guard. 
 For my subsistence, I got employ at knitting fish-nets 
 for gentlemen of that place ; but as rum was plenty 
 and cheap there, I had often to go without my dinner, 
 and supper too. I found that this way of living wouM 
 not do, I fell in with the captain of a brig belonging 
 to New-Bedford, and bound to New-York, who gave 
 me a passage home with him. The first night after 
 
181 
 
 v»'€ set sail, as 1 stood at the helm, the captain brougbi 
 me a good pea-jacket; so low had I brought myself by 
 the distressing habit of intemperance, that 1 had no 
 jacket; he also let mc have bed-clothes, and when we 
 arrived at New-York, gave me twelve dollars. But 
 this was useless; for 1 had got to such a degrading 
 pitch of intemperance, that money did me more harm 
 than good. Strange, that a burned child should so love 
 the fire ! 
 
 I had been gone from the United States over nine 
 years; and many hundreds of times, during my ab- 
 sence, had I, for hours together, meditated the joyful 
 anticipation of beholding and enjoyinglhe pleasures of 
 my native land ; only for two or three years I had my 
 fnftections on Java. While for four whole years con- 
 fined in a prison in Holland, with what delight would 
 I bring the scene of my arrival in my much-desired 
 fjative country to my view, and with what anxiety did 
 I wish for the time to pass away! And to what pur- 
 pose ? What did I enjoy when I got there? Nothing 
 but the degrading, miserable comforts of inebriation. 
 Alas ! this is not the end ; the worst, by far the worst, 
 is to come. 
 
 I staggered about the streets ol New- York, from 
 grocery to grog-shop, and from one den of infamy to 
 another, for a fortnight, till my money was gone, and 
 what credit I could get from my landlord ; and then 
 shipped in the States' service, and went on board of the 
 old steam frigate, there to await until the sloop of war 
 Ontario was fitted out. When I had got on board, I 
 was as one crazy for three days, with the horrors. J 
 felt as if 1 was beset with fiends of hell, within and all 
 
182 
 
 about me. If I started to go two rods after anything,. 
 I would forget what I was after before I got two steps, 
 then have to stand awhile to gather my recollecting 
 faculties, before I could go a step farther. It wore off 
 after awhile, and I was employed in knitting a net to 
 catch goldfish in Italy. 
 
 When the Ontario was ready, I was conveyed on 
 board of her, with the rest of the crew, and had the 
 good fortune to be rated quartermaster. I got liberty 
 to go on shore at New- York. Lieutenant Taylor had 
 no suspicion of my clearing out, as my wages Avere 
 $18 per month, while seamen's wages were only $12, 
 and the service much harder, in merchantmen ; neither 
 had I the least intention of deserting when I went on 
 shore. But the spot of my nativity came to my mind; 
 my father and my sister; the latter w^as now 30 years 
 old, and I had seen her but once since she was 2 years. 
 I was going a three years' cruise, perhaps never to re- 
 turn, and this was the only chance I might over have 
 of getting home. But O, the sad idea of going home 
 in health, with not a cent to help myself with. These 
 thoughts occupied my mind through the day on which 
 I went on shore; and, towards night, I shaped my 
 course on foot up the North River, frequently looking 
 back, expecting to see an officer after me. 
 
183 
 
 MESUI^T OF INCONSIDE RATION. 
 
 Where falls this censure ] It o'erwhelms myself! 
 How was my heart incrusted by the world ! 
 O, how sclf-fetter'd was my grov'lling soul ! 
 How, like a worm, was I wrapt round and round 
 In silken thought, which reptile fancy spun. 
 Till darkened reason lay quite clouded o'er 
 With soft conceit of endless comfort here, 
 ^or yet put forth her wings to Teach the skies! 
 
 Young. 
 
 I WAS now shaping- my cQurse to the town where 
 my mother had been resting in her grave for about 28 
 years. I had been absent 19 of the latter years — and 
 what had been my progress? My mind and spirit 
 were ebbing and flowing like the tide; now elated in 
 hopes of seeing my father and sister — then sinking in 
 dejection, when reflecting that I was returning home 
 without a cent of money, after the numerous advanrta- 
 j^eous opportunities I had misimproved. The sting of 
 i:onscience was keen, and I knew of nothing to blunt 
 its sharpness but liquor; this I had not the means of 
 procuring. I went to sawing wood at the village of 
 
184 
 
 Siog-Sing, till I got a few shillings; and nny cares of 
 a serious nsture were soon far away. 1 began to think 
 the world of mankind were all rogues, and he that had 
 the greatest share ia it was the best fellow. Though 
 I had been under the best tuition for roguery, I had no 
 skill in the business. I had the will, but did not know 
 how to begin. Considering the habits and practices of 
 my superiors through my former life, and the circum- 
 stances in which I was placed, what could be expected t 
 I viewed the inhabitants of a wealthy community, en- 
 joying peace and the good of the land. " These," I 
 thought, " have never felt hardships; and why should 
 I suffer with want, more than they? * God is no re- 
 specter of persons.' The world was made for me, a^ 
 well as for another, and all that is in it." 
 
 I view'd a God of perfect skill, all things to regulate ; 
 But little thought my stubborn will was ruler of my fate. 
 I viewed myself a perfect man, with those in shape like mc , 
 Resolv'd I was to try some plan to rise as high as he. 
 
 To justify myself in wickedness, I contemplated the 
 practices of men in authority, as it regarded nations at 
 waro The rulers of a government will issue commis- 
 sions to merchants, or any person, giving them license 
 to fit out vessels well stocked with the implements of 
 death; and what for? To plunder individuals on the 
 high seas, the road of nations, and those perhaps that 
 AYished our country Vv^ell; and I viewed human laws 
 av^ a mess of humbugging stuffy calculated by the rich 
 to keep themselves rich, and keep the poor poor. In- 
 tiuenced by such feelings, 1 was ready for any act (not 
 iocluding murder) of dishonesty that opportunity pre- 
 sented. When I got to Stillwater, I went and stoVl om 
 
185 
 
 the ground where the houso hnd stood that, was my fa- 
 ther's, when my mother died. Here 1 liad a few mo- 
 ments' solemn reflections, which started the tear of re 
 
 fentance. 1 was sober, and resolved to live a reformed 
 ife. 
 
 " Oh ! had my mother liv'd, and thought 
 Of all the ills my folly wrought; 
 Could she have view'd my future year?, 
 Revolving through this vale of tears ; 
 Keen anguish for my wayward state, 
 She would havemourn'd my coming fate, 
 And wish'd, alas! from worldly sti ife, 
 Unknown I might have pass'd thro' litG/' 
 
 From Stillwater, I trudged about thirty-five miles t<j 
 the residence of my sister. Her circumstances were 
 little adapted to render me assistance, though I was re- 
 ceived with welcome, and treated with fraternal affec- 
 tion by her and her husband. But I was urged in 
 mind by extreme anxiety jto make up lost time ; and I 
 started for somewhere, not considering much which 
 \vay I steered, I thought the years of my life too far 
 advanced, to attain to affluent circumstances by a coursi? 
 of probity; but I was resolved to have riches. I madt» 
 an attempt to get some clothes out of a house in the 
 night, w^hile the inmates were enjoying the security 
 and privilege that the silent hours afibidtd. This prize 
 amounted to fifteen months' imprisonment in Simsbury 
 mines. This was a death-blow to my prospects; and 
 I had no way to cheer the gloom, but by reflecting 
 that som.e of my companions were much worse offthan 
 myself 
 
186 
 
 *' Still lost to virtue, lost to manly thought, 
 Lost to the noble sallies of the soul !" 
 
 Here was d-evotional exercise once each week, to 
 which I was compelled to attend. My conscience 
 conceded to the truth of the gospel, and I meant to com- 
 ply with its requisitions some time or other; but was 
 determined to get into good circumstances first. I jus- 
 tified myself in contemplated acts of dishonesty, by my 
 necessitated condition in life. On that ground, I thouglrt 
 that God, who was always ready to forgive, would ac- 
 cept of me at any time. 
 
 Where is the man of common sense, 
 
 Such folly can excel. 
 To think to sin at God's expense. 
 
 And shun the road to hell ? 
 
 But Mercy view'd the lurking charm, 
 
 The false, deluded heart ; 
 And sent conviction's mighty arm, 
 
 To pierce it with his dart. 
 
 Now gratitude shall take the seat 
 
 That falsehood held so long ; 
 While Satan must with shame retreat, 
 
 God's praise shall be my song. 
 
 Yet I was for years in affliction before I learned this 
 song. When I got my liberty, at the expiration of the 
 fifteen months, I shaped my course to New-London, 
 where I was again arrested for having deserted a ves- 
 sel, that I had agreed to perform a voyage in. While 
 I was .in jail for safe keeping, till the vessel alluded K) 
 
187 
 
 should be ready, a fellow from the country was put in 
 the room with me. He was a man of very disagree- 
 able temper and habits; he irritated me in many ways, 
 but mostly by keeping me awake at night. I had no 
 patience with him, but threatened and swore at him ; 
 and our strife became constant. He awoke me just at 
 daybreak one morning, with his rattling about, after I 
 had been awake the greatest part of three nights. In 
 the extremity of passion, I sprang from my bed, and 
 caught up a bench, with which I struck him on the 
 back of his head. He fell like an ox. Flad he kept 
 his position, he would have received but little injury; 
 but seeing the bench swiftlj^ approximating him, he 
 dodged, which was the means of my hitting him in a 
 tender spot. The first words bespoke were, "Help 
 me up!" 1 put my hands under his forehead, to as- 
 sist him. Think what must have been m.y horror, 
 u^heh they were instantly filled with blood ! " Now," 
 said he, " I shall die, and you'll be hung ;" yet I could 
 not believe that he was much injured. I had frequently 
 seen men get knocked down, and lie awhile as if dead, 
 then up and at it again ; and I thought he was in a si- 
 milar condition — merely stunned. He scrambled along 
 to a grated window^ that was stuffed full of old blan- 
 kets to keep the cold out; afler pulling them out, he 
 raised the thrilling cry of Murder ! Reader, if you 
 want to realize what were my sensations, you have 
 only to imagine yourself in my situation, with the dis- 
 mal cry of murder sounding through the silent town 
 and in your ears, and yourself the murderer. Lest you 
 should be left in error, as to your conclusion of my cha- 
 racter, in regard to fighting or w'ar, I'll just give you 
 
188 
 
 a short impartial sketch of it, if I may be allowed the 
 privilege. I coald always fight best with my tongue 
 [f I ever fought, it was when I got penned up in a 
 corner, and got a blow or two; but a braver fellow 
 never sung a song in a grog-shop, especially if I had 
 the price of a few glasses of grog. 
 
 For honour brave my mind did rage, 
 
 I thought it fine to wear the badge ; 
 
 The glare of arms was my delight, 
 
 And yet I was afraid to fight. 
 
 What spirit could me so allure? 
 
 I cannot tell, I won't be sure. 
 
 What power could force me thus to do — 
 
 To love a thing, and fear it too 1 
 
 A child might have a good excuse; 
 
 But when a man, what was the use 7 
 
 To practice what I knew so well 
 
 Expos'd me to the pains of hell! 
 
 O foolish passion ! How severe I 
 
 To cause me such a course to steer; 
 
 To agitate myself in vain, 
 
 And still to make me hope for gain! 
 
 The people in the vicinity of the jail, were alarmed^ 
 nnd came thronging* into the jail, the door was un- 
 locked, the poor fellow told his story, and the jailer 
 asked me if I had been killing him. I denied it; but 
 rny master, or Mr. Fortune, had left me; and I was 
 doomed, under the direction of Miss Fortune, the de- 
 formed lady I had been wooing all my life-time. The 
 man was conducted to a room in the jailers apartment, 
 the surgeon was srnt for, and Pilgarlic was depositeil 
 
189 
 
 in a liuls ceil, which they termed a dun<rcon The ti- 
 dmgs came to me that his skull was fraJIuud. and h« 
 could not lu-e till night. Alas I my poor soul ! thought 
 I; have 1 come to this at last? 1 viewed mj self as 
 already under the gallows; then I could see myself 
 swung off and writhing in the last struggle. Not a 
 word could I utter excepting. "Lord have mercy on 
 my poor soul." 'Ihese words I constantly repeated 
 for two hours. I think my mind was exercised much 
 m the same manner as that represented of the poor 
 publican; tnough I was not affected on account of the 
 dtstressmg situation of the poor fellow I had struck 
 ^^cores ot people called to see the murderer throu<rh 
 the day and various were their opinions. Some sakl, 
 Don t he look like a murderer V Others formed a 
 moi^ favoiirable opinion of me. All this I considered 
 trifling. My distress was to know if the man was like- 
 ^ to recover. As the time wore away, my hope re- 
 vived. But the terror of this circumstancie was tho 
 means ot my discarding many foolish practices for 
 
 iT I«Tfi- T ' V''"'";"°" '°°'^ Pl'^"^^ February 
 Ulii, 1826 I was bound over to appear before the 
 supreme Court, which was to sit in October fol- 
 lowing. 
 
 As my bond was 500 dollars, 1 had to remain in jail 
 I was well treated and enjoyed myself better than I 
 had for any length of time during my previous life 
 Recollect that this jail stood on the spot where the old 
 ja. stood, when the Italian was confined, and went to 
 ^ate prison for stabbing me thirteen years previous 
 It 13 somethmg remarkable, that I should be permitted 
 to range aii over the world, then come to fhe sam. 
 
190 
 
 spot, and learn, by affliction, to sympathize for the suf^ 
 ferings I had by my folly caused one of niy fellow^ 
 beings; though *1 had often felt sorry for him, while 
 suffering confinement for fifteen months in the same 
 prison where the Italian sufiTered seven long years. 
 
 When the court sat in October, I was set at liberty, 
 and tramped over two hundred miles, bare-footed, to 
 the dwelling of my sister. My mind was then inclined 
 to lead the life of a Christian. My sister had been so 
 inclined from her childhood, and she used every efibrt 
 to assist me in the right way. Short was the duration. 
 I got into lewd, intemperate company— let go the reins 
 oflntegrity and probity — and ere I was aware of what 
 I was^'about, I found myself safely enclosed by the 
 strong walls and massy bars of Ballstown jail ; and I 
 suppose you would like to know what for. As I toW" 
 you .some time ago how I learned to plunder, by law,- 
 I now undertook it without a commission; my only 
 stimulus was rum. While staggering along one night, 
 I fell in with a small woollen factory; as there was 
 no person in it to oppose me, or prove their property, 
 and as I v^^as in want of clothes, I took on a few rolls of 
 satinet ; but 1 was so much by the head, that I could 
 not carry sail; I was taken. The efl^ects of the rum 
 emboldened me to do the act ; the effects of the same 
 was the means of my getting apprehended. The ef- 
 fects of my long inconsiderate and dissipated habits, 
 were now commencing a more thorough operation than 
 I had previously experienced. I had been frequently 
 chastened and admonished by afflictions, and had been 
 convinced that they were the fruits of my folly; but 
 my habits we^'e so strongly riveted by the hammers of 
 
191 
 
 example and practice, that a longer time was requisite 
 to accomplish the labour of determination. My pre- 
 vious chastenings were severe, it is true; but of short 
 duration, and therefore soon out of mind. Human 
 nature is inclined to self-gratification, and deep-rooted 
 habits are hard to eradicate. 
 
 I was tried, and sent to Auburn for a term of three 
 years. In that prison, I found eA^ery thing as much 
 calculated ("or the comfort and benefit of the inmates 
 as consistency would admit. I never had cause nor 
 disposition to murmur or complain. I read my Bible 
 attentively, and had my heart and ears open to receive 
 all the instruction I could from every sermon. In 
 fact, I performed every ordinance of the law, and felt 
 pretty happy. I also felt that there Avas something 
 lacking. I did not believe I was a Christian. I felt 
 that I was an unprofitable servant. I felt, as I truly 
 w^as, in the valley of humiliation ; neither did I ever 
 again intend to climb the hill of difficulty in my own 
 strength. But the time w^ore away very slowly. Each 
 morning, when I seated myself in the shop, and cast 
 a look around me upon the things too familiar with 
 my sight, my impression has been accompanied with 
 a sigh, "Ah! lam kere yet;" and with critical ob- 
 servation would number each rolling month, week, and 
 day — seldom bringing to mind that time with me 
 might cease before freedom arrived. And I regretted 
 the loss of time through life, not because I had misim- 
 proved it as it regards the obligations I owed to God 
 of my life: but because I had, by intemperance, and 
 other bad habits, robbed myself of the pleasures of the 
 world. How would my heart drop below zero, when 
 
192 
 
 the thought came to my mind, I am forty years old ; 
 and when I got liberated, as I travelled through the 
 country, and beheld the peaceful dwellings of thriving 
 farmers, and flourishing citizens, with their families 
 and children, and all the comforts of life about them, 
 the solemn reflection would be — Why have i been so 
 foolish'? These blessings might have been my happy 
 lot: but alas! how sillily have I let them slip. And 
 again I would think of Cain, the son of Adam — a fu- 
 gitive and a vagabond on the earth: but I would fain 
 have been as well ofl* as he, as to worldly treasure; 
 for he went to the land of Nod, had a son, and built a 
 city, and called it Enoch, after his son. In fact, I had 
 read the Bible through seven times, but could not 
 find so miserable a character described on its sacred 
 pages as myself Judas Iscariot came the nearest. — - 
 Hosea the prophet says, chap. iv. verse 11, '' Whore- 
 dom and wine, and new wine, destroy tne heart." 
 This was near my case; and my foolish d( sires were 
 not yet quelled. The chaplain at Auburn had mada 
 me a present of a small book on intemperance, and I 
 found a passage in it from Galatians, like this : " ¥/alk 
 in the spirit, ani ye shall not fulfil the lusts of the 
 flesh.'' Though t had so often read this passage in 
 the Testament, I never had viewed it with intensity; 
 but now I took good notice of it, considering how I 
 should w^alk in the spirit — as if in works the whole 
 depended— forgetting that I should first get in the spi- 
 rit ; but I concluded to keep it in remembrance, that is, 
 to walk in the spirit, as if I was in possession of it al- 
 ready. 
 
 I ventured to the dwelling of my sister, knowing 
 
193 
 
 that she possessed a compassionate spirit, tcjinper, and 
 disposition ; and I was not mistaken ; for I was cor- 
 dially received; and I had learned so mucli scripture, 
 and could talk (and, as I thought, feel,) religion so 
 \Tell, they thought i would soon become a preacher of 
 the gospel; and I thought, truly, that I was not far 
 from the kingdom of heaven : yet there seemed to be 
 something wanting, and 1 thought it was nothing but 
 a wife, so as not to fulfil the lusts of the flesh in an un- 
 lawful way. I went to the city of Troy to get employ- 
 ment, and got work at loading and unloading vessels. 
 I there became acquainted with a young v/ornan who 
 came now and then to visit the woman with whom I 
 boarded; with this young woman I made a hasty bar- 
 gain, and we got married. The times became dull, 
 my wife got sick, I could not get work, and was in 
 more distress than I had ever been before, excepting 
 when I struck the man with the bench. As yet, since 
 I left Auburn, I had not taken a glass of strong liquor; 
 but now, ia my extreme distress, I thought I could jus- 
 tify myself in taking a little. But O! sad mistake! 
 I no sooner commenced, than all the hellish propensi- 
 ties in me were alive that I thought had been long bu- 
 ried; at first I hesitated to comply with the tempter, 
 but my extreme poverty and distress I took as means 
 of justification; and I thought if I should hook some 
 notions to alleviate my distress, it would not be so great 
 a sin. 1 was like a new beginner at the trade, impress- 
 ed With reluctance; neither could I begin at all with.- 
 out a heavy dose of the essence of the cane. 1 was in 
 perpetual torment; there was a secret displeasure in 
 all my contemDlations of wickedness, v/hich i concciv- 
 
 13 
 
f94' 
 
 e4 against myself, that was inconsistent with any 
 enjoyment; so that, instead oi lessening my distress, 
 sin laid the foundation for much greater misery. But 
 as yet it was small, compared with what was ahead. 
 Stored with a bottle of the best ammunition the devil 
 eotild produce, viz. rum, I made several attacks in the 
 d.ark— for 3^ou know my admiral loves darkness — and 
 as I was an adbpted son, it was requisite that I should 
 choose it, rather than light. I took several small 
 prizes ; but O, the dismal state of my mind, when I 
 awoke sober in the morrangf' Now was applied the 
 true touchstone, by which I might have proved the 
 things which were conducive to my happiness. Little 
 did 1 think how corroding the eiects of these vile acts 
 would operate in my future life. For instance, sup- 
 pose yourself in my miserable state of mind; you have 
 an opportunity of getting some great advantage by 
 doing some vile act; whilst you look only at the ad- 
 vantage, and think over all the ways in which k may 
 be serviceable to your pleasure or ambition, the temp- 
 tation will be strong, and the more you indulge the 
 above thoughts, at so much greater distance the evil of 
 the contemplated act is removed from the mind. But 
 suppose the thing done, and the advantage gained ; 
 and then put yourself in a posture of looking back upon 
 the whole transaction, and see what comfort will arise 
 from the reflection: such a thought must ever be at- 
 tended with a secret abhorrence of ourselves ; and how 
 happy the man is who lives under a continual displea- 
 sure of himself, let any one judge. Such was the dis- 
 composure of the body, depressed by the effects of thd 
 liquor that I had poured down to raise my spirits, ae- 
 
195 
 
 companied by a sense of guilt, that 1 have often poured 
 out the remains of my liquor into the fire, but not with- 
 out reserving one good drink to cure the horrors — re- 
 solving that this should be the last ; but this lastdrink 
 would soon lose its reviving power, and like the seven 
 unclean spirits returning with the first, leave me in a 
 worse condition than before. At last, I had arrived at 
 a pitch for decision ; my cruise was up : the gentle and 
 kind calls of the Good Spirit could not, without neces= 
 sary judgments, awaken me. I was detected with a 
 parcel of leather that I had, without permission, import- 
 ed from a tan-work by night. What was the confusion 
 of my mind, when I came to my right senses, and found 
 myself once more secured by massy walls and strong 
 bars, is indescribable. My old admiral, the evil spirit 
 that had been my justifier, was now far away ; for I 
 was so immersed in sensuality and wickedness, that 
 the rougher methods had become necessary, because 
 my sense of feeling was too far gone to be affected with 
 soft ones. The prophet says : " Let favour be showed 
 to the wricked, yet will he not learn righteousness ; in 
 the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will 
 not behold the majesty of the Lord. Lord, when thy 
 hand is lifted up, they will not see : but they shall see, 
 and be ashamed," &c. — Isaiah xxvi, 10, 11. Was not 
 I ashamed ? Not for the world's sake, or man^s alone ; 
 these were small embarrassments, compared with those 
 of an eternal nature. How eagerly would I have hid 
 from the wrath of Almighty God ! I looked back on 
 his indulgences, the greatest of which I considered was 
 in sparing the man's life that I struck in New- London 
 jail, and the gratitude I for a while had cherished, and 
 
196 
 
 promises I had made, and now, for the third time since 
 then, in jail. Fire and sharp knives can only reach 
 the feeling of a man grown stupid in lethargy, or an 
 apoplectic fit, and therefore they only must be applied. 
 In spiritual distempers, the same method is used by the 
 wisdom of God. How was David called back to him- 
 self? By grievous afflictions and heavy judgments; 
 by uncommon misfortunes, which only could raise him 
 to see his wretched state : and what folly it is, and how 
 repugnant to reason, for any pleasure of sin, to make 
 it necessary for God to send misery and afflictions to 
 dwell with us; to bring ourselves into so desperate a 
 condition as to require so desperate a remedy! But 
 the mercy of God is without measure, and, like the sun, 
 rises upon the evil and on the good, on the just and on 
 the unjust. Perhaps, then, it will look down on me 
 again, and avvaken me once more to see my danger, 
 and the abommation of inconsideration, was my only 
 hope; and though so defiled, I never once despaired of 
 mercy. 
 
 1 was again favoured by the men in judicial autho- 
 rity, who pronounced on me the shortest sentence tha 
 law would admit, viz. two years to Sing-Sing prison. 
 They knew not that I was an okl offender, but dealt 
 with me as if it had been the first offence; for I ap- 
 peared, as I truly was, sincerely penitent. Had they 
 known my former practices, my sincerity would have 
 been but little valued, and ten or fourteen years would 
 have been my honid sentence. But God knew my 
 heart, and compelled them to act accordingly. A list 
 of the names of convicts being transferred between Au- 
 burn and Sing-Sing yearly, was the means of my being 
 
197 
 
 recognised at the latter place as an old hard case, sis 
 the keepers thought; and I was treated accordingly. 
 It appears to me now that my Auburn suffering was the 
 voice of mercy, and the extremely rigid treatment at 
 Sing-Sing that of judgment. It was a bitter pill — but 
 I am glad that I was forced to take it. 
 
 It was the 12th of December, 1830, on a Sunday, 
 when I arrived at the domain of American tyranny — 
 Sing-Sing prison. Its appearance (though a bitter cold 
 day) caused the drops ofsweat toooze through my skin, 
 and filled my mind with a doleful horror. One glanc6 
 conveyed more terror to my mind than my treatment 
 at Auburn. The craggy heaps of broken stones around 
 the numerous quarries, the surrounding sentinel boxes, 
 and the implements for getting out stone, all betokened 
 abject servitude. Had this been the worst of it, my suf- 
 ferings while there would not have been so intolera- 
 ble. Like an apple-tree that is hollow, excepting a 
 small part that supplies the' branches with sap, so that 
 it bears fruit, and makes as large a shadow as a sound 
 tree — so it was with me. I had been worn out at sea, 
 and by intemperate habits was full of rheumatic pains 
 in my bones, or the effects of mercury that I had taken 
 while in the Dutch service in the East Indies. In ad- 
 dition to these, I had a soreness in my abdomen, and a 
 dizziness in my head. As these infirmiiies were not 
 perceivable to the relentless keepers, they imposed on 
 me the same service as if 1 had been young and stout; 
 and for several months, as I was not able to perform 
 what they wished I should do, I had to bear the unre- 
 mitting strokes of their cadgels over my head, face, or 
 anywhere that cam^e most convenient for them to hit 
 
198 
 
 me. The relentings of my soul were such, that I could 
 not forbear weeping aloud almost constantly. I did 
 not cherish the least temper of revenge ; it was self- 
 reflection„ When I looked back and viewed the joy- 
 ous seasons I had embraced at short intervals, and my 
 folly in losing the best part of my life, and what I had 
 brought myself to by inconsideration, my regret was of 
 such a woful nature, that I have often burst into tears 
 while performing my work, which if the keeper per- 
 ceived, to alleviate my distress, he would give me a few 
 raps with his cudgel. Three times each day, I had to 
 spring with all my might up four pairs of stairs; and 
 if I was a little behind, after I had exerted myself to my 
 utmost to keep up, a few raps over the head w^as my 
 salutation, and my victuals were constantly moistened 
 and salted with tears. A scarcity of provisions was 
 another cause of lamentation among the poor culprits. 
 I was glad to see the season of grass and weeds; and 
 many a time, after eating my meals, have I filled my 
 maw with weeds, without regard to their name or na- 
 ture. I was not alone in this practice ; every one that 
 could get a chance eagerly partook as I did. 
 
 While undergoing the extreme hardships of this last 
 term of confinement at Sing-Sing, I ever cherished a 
 sensation of gratitude as alluding to my sentence. But 
 this gratitude did not belong to man, neither could I 
 render it to man. The law alone restrained some of 
 the keepers from taking my life. " Well," says one, 
 '• you must have been ugl}?-.*' Not so. I felt perfectly 
 resigned, and heartily willing to comply with the rules 
 of the prison ; but heartily to comply with the fiend like 
 disposition ofmany of the keepers I could not, although 
 
199 
 
 n visible acts I did my utmost to comply. I was sea 
 -ible that community at large were n-ot aware of their 
 rigorous practices. I was also sensible that spectators, 
 and even committees, w^ere by some means duped in 
 reference to the fare of my unhappy companions. I 
 was also aware that the testimony of a man like me, or 
 any convict^ would be little regarded. But I made up 
 my mind, long before I got my liberty, that when 1 did 
 get out, I would make an effort, and stick to truth, in 
 publishing nothing but what I had felt and seen. 
 
 A man, one day, was ordered by a keeper to drill a 
 hole in a rock which the keeper pointed to. The man 
 got a drill, and went to the rock; as he knew not the 
 precise spot, he mildly asked the keeper where he 
 should make the hole. " Go to work, you scoundrel !'' 
 replied the keeper. The man commenced, but he did 
 not hit a spot that suited his taskmaster, who sprang 
 towards the poor fellow in a rage, and commenced 
 thumping him over the head, arms, and thighs with his 
 cudgel; the poor fellow kept shifting his drill from 
 place to place, till the rage of the fiend was somewhat 
 abated, and he left one victim only to commence with 
 another — thus going on from one to another, as if his 
 <v'oracious appetite could not be cloyed. 
 
 I was at work one day w^ith a gang ; we were pull- 
 ting on a long rope that w^as fastened to the end of a 
 iong heavy pole, for the purpose of prying rocks asun- 
 der. A young inoffensive fellow among us, who was 
 lame in his feet, happened to slip, and trip another 
 man, so that they both fell. The young man w^as cali» 
 <^d by the keeper (Mr. Paul Lent.) "Pull off your 
 xoat, sir ]" The poor fellow began to plead innocent. 
 
200 
 
 as to intention. Quick as lightning the cudgel met 
 his skull, clip after clip. "Pull off your shirt, sir!'*' 
 added the keeper; and not till the blood dropped from 
 the unfortunate man's back, was he permitted to return 
 to his labor. Once 1 was assisting about twenty men 
 to load a stone about eleven ton weight on the trucks. 
 The men's legs were so thick around it, that 1 could 
 not get my bar between them without caution ; w^hile 
 trying to find a place, 1 received the swift force of the 
 keeper's cudgel on my pate, which soon let the- 
 blood into my shoes. At another time, I innocently 
 (as it regarded what I then committed) shared a simi- 
 lar fate. All this w^as nothing, compared with the low 
 practice of pinching our intestines to fill their purses. 
 Mr. Marshall, the deputy keeper, flogged me once for 
 having tvv'o small potatoes, and a bit of bread, in the 
 lining of my coat. I had taken them out of another 
 man's dish after breakfast, while passing along on the 
 gallery. It was a practice among us, (as it frequently 
 happened that some were sick or ailing, and did not 
 sat the whole of their allowance,) that they would 
 reach out their kid, that is, a little tub that contains 
 their victuals, for another to avail himself of its con- 
 tents. This was done without speaking, or even a 
 whisper; but if we were seen by the ever watchful 
 eye of the keeper, both the giver and receiver were 
 severely flogged. I have frequently seen farmers corner 
 with their carts and oxen, and take ofl' loads of our 
 provisions for swill. The price was somehow divided 
 among the keepers. 1 understood that it was the per- 
 quisite of Mr. Marshall. The fact is, as near as I know 
 by experience and information, we were cheated out 
 of about one-quarter of our rights of provisions before 
 
201 
 
 it was cooked, and another quarter afterwards. Is this 
 the way to mitigate the evil passions of inte'ligent be- 
 ings? Do they not perceive that they are suffering 
 for your aggrandizement, to support that same pride 
 and sensual nature that causes them to suffer? Do 
 those poor wretches not know that the law allows them 
 enough to eat? Y( s ; and they also know that they 
 are defrauded, and that to enrich some of iheir tyran- 
 nical oppressors. Can you overcome evil with evil? 
 Had 1 not been stored with a measure of grace before 
 I got there, the evil example constantly exhibited be- 
 fore my eyes, (not by convicts,) v^ould have as con- 
 stantly kept my mind in irritation, and forever pre 
 vented grace from entering ; but the word of God was 
 my guide and support. 1 have no doubt but some of 
 my readers will be filled with disgus% when i tell about 
 grace, and the word of God — as if my past conduct 
 were unpardonable, if there should be any such, let 
 them examine the foundation of their prejudice; for I 
 am well aware that none who share in this grace 
 whereof i speak, will condemn. If you feel the demerit 
 of my sins more than 1 do, then 1 am in danger; if the 
 Spirit reproves you of my sins, and not of your own, 1 
 leave you to judge your case; if your heart is hum- 
 bled, and your works just, and you feel an entire de- 
 pendence on God to establish you in the love of Christ, 
 i have no cause to fear your censures. Whatever may 
 be your judgment concerning me, I feel safe. 
 
 In 1832 the cholera commenced among us, and 
 about 160 were delivered from the power of worldly 
 oppressors. This, you may say, was a severe judg- 
 ment on those wretches= Billy creature, if you thut 
 
m2 
 
 judge] Are we not all subjects of death — -saints ani 
 sinners? Then this was no uncommon judgment on 
 them that died; but fact proves that it was a warning 
 to me, and all that survived— yea, even the lofty keep- 
 ers, who little regarded the mercy of God in sparing 
 them. What could be belter calculated to strike so- 
 lemnity through the soul, and fill it with the fear of 
 Cfod, than to see eight or ten of their fellow-beings, of 
 ihe same form with themselves, going daily to the 
 grave — to hear the sound of the hammer ringing 
 through the vaulted space of the prison five or six 
 times during the night, nailing up coffins — -and to hear 
 the dismal groans of the poor creatures that were. at- 
 tacked in their cells, and the constant rapping for as- 
 sistance, with their spoons, on the iron gates of the cell 
 doors? If this was not enough to strike a dread on 
 the living, I know not what would. During this whole 
 calamity, I never for a moment felt worthy to escape 
 the scourge, and never felt afraid : but firmly trusted 
 'that, like Job's servant, I should be spared to tell the 
 news. My desire is, that gratitude may never di- 
 minish. 
 
 '* Thus 'tis alone of grace Til boast. 
 And 'tis aJone in grace I'll trust; 
 For all that's past, grace h my theme, 
 For what's to come, 'tis still the same." 
 
 There are very few that arc so hardened, after ex- 
 periencing such punishment for their folly, as they 
 have to endure in Sing-Sing prison, but would be will- 
 ing to lead an honest liiey if they could appear in pub- 
 lic as other men. I know that there are exceptious^ 
 
20^ 
 
 but in general they feel humble, as if their chastening 
 had been enough; but they are turned out of ibis place 
 so poorly clad, that decent people will not have them 
 in their houses. For my part, I had difficulty to gt< 
 lodging for mone^^, in the city of New-York; nor 
 could 1 get at all in a decent house ; but had to tako 
 up my lodging in a low place, where I got a body- 
 guard of German ducks, that took the plaits of my 
 shirt for their parade ground. My intention was to 
 get a berth on board of some vessel, and take a voyago 
 to sea; but when I solicited any captain, they would 
 turn from me with disdain ; and some of them that I 
 knew wanted hands, would tell me they wanted non-e. 
 I steered my course into the country, u here, after 
 tramping without food, or money to get it with, and, 
 one night beino obliged to give a Bible that was pre- 
 sented to me in New- York, for my lodging, 1 at last 
 got into a place where I worked a while, and obtained 
 some clothes. At first, I was under tl e necessity of 
 pullino my shirt off, after all were asleep, wash and 
 dry it by the stove, and then put it on and go to bed. 
 If such are the effects of the benevolent institutions of 
 our religious country, I say, with one of old: " O my 
 soul, come not thou into their secret ; unto their as- 
 sembly, mine honour, be not thou united !" Now, sup- 
 posing they were better provided for by our benevolent 
 men in authority, who, if they were not quite so eove- 
 tous, might easily spare as much as the coinict had 
 earned during his confinement; 1 ask, where could bft 
 the evil? But the objection is, the poor degraded 
 wretches would only get drunk, and spend it foolishly. 
 Bvthis objection, you must hav>^ little fuith in the utifi- 
 
204 
 
 ty of your institutions. Why don't you make a law 
 to keep them in prison for life, if you think they don't 
 get any better? When your exampl- agrees with your 
 profession of benevolence, and not till then, need you 
 expect to reclaim the vile wretch over whom you have 
 influence, and over whom you sit in authority. But 
 what have 1 to do with these things? Only to keep 
 clear, now 1 am clear. 
 
 By the traverse courses 1 have attempted to delineate 
 in the foregoing pages, you will, I suppose, conclude 
 that I must be somewhere not far from the coast of eter- 
 nal despair. That might have been my sad condition, 
 if the thundering voice of conviction had not made 
 such a tremendous noise about the hatchway of my soul, 
 and waked up Mr. Conscience, the pilot — who, after 
 sounding many times, and sailing under easy sail, ascer= 
 tained the approximate danger my ship was in ; and, as 
 I was very weak-handed, my pilot urged me to call for 
 Grace to help to work the ship, and Mr. Grace came 
 to my assistance. My ship was near the stupendous 
 craggy rocks of despair; under my lee, the hurricane 
 of temptation was bellowing through my riggmg; the 
 dismal black clouds of discouragement made the night 
 darker, if possible, than ever Egypt v^^as; and the suc- 
 ceeding billows of distrust, foaming, raging, and dash- 
 ing over m^r mast heads, and the glaring, vivid flash- 
 es oPconfusion, made up the doleful scene. But, thanks 
 be to Grace, we got the ship on the other tack.— 
 Jt fell away calm; the lightning ceased; the lower- 
 ing clouds began to disperse; the ocean becam.e 
 smooth; 1 got out my oars of prayer; I soon per- 
 e-eivtd that I began to lengthen my distance from the 
 
205 
 
 dismal coast. I have been rowing with little inter- 
 mission ever since; the pilot has never closed his 
 oyf'S since that alarming night; and says he never 
 will; though he is well aware that grace does all 
 t!ie work, he also knows that if gets asleep again, 
 Grace will leave us; and he might not be so ready 
 to come at onr call, if we should again be caught 
 so near the dangerous coast of despair, through our 
 own neglect. 
 
 Reader! aint tiiis all nonsense? If you should hap- 
 pen to get on shore on that land of despair, 1 am of 
 opinion tliat you will wish you had called for Grace, 
 who would have told you how to use the oar of prayer. 
 Objection — " You are mad, man. Will you dare to fput 
 me on a level with yourself?" I answer : By no means. 
 But see here, friend— Is your oonscience wide awake? 
 If it is, may be it don't justly regard the truth. You 
 are an intelligeiit being — a moral agent ; and thougli 
 you cannot destroy creution, what you can do you can 
 do riglit or wrong, at ycur own will ; and the smalles? 
 deviation from a known truth, as it regards your thought>^ 
 or actions, leaves you under obligatiouo to call for 
 Grace, without whose assistance you can never be deti 
 from guilt. I am. truly aware of the dangerous stato 
 of mind that, alas! too many of my feilow-beings am 
 in. They think thtyare good enough. Fatal delu- 
 sion ! *' Weil,*' says one, ** I don't want lo read any 
 more about your religion. The world is full on't. I 
 can't pick up a book, or a bit of pa[)er as l)ig as a shil- 
 ling, but what has some of your d ~d priestcraft on 
 
 it." Weil, all the consolation I can give you is— What 
 V0U call the superfluity of religion, must^ and will add 
 
205 
 
 fa our condemnation if we reject it. I don't like priest ^ 
 craft any better than you do, and 1*11 never be tied to 
 any sect on earth. 
 
 As I have been out of prison some tinae, I suppose 
 you'd like to know what I've been about since I got my 
 liberty. I'll try to gratify you as much as I can, if I do 
 put myself out of my course a little ; seeing the pilot is 
 awake to look out ahead ; and I'll try to keep a bright 
 t3ye to the windward ; for my commodore, tl^e truth, is 
 stationed there. ] expect that many, who, throtigh cu- 
 riosity, are persuaded to patronize me in buying this lit- 
 tic work, will be ready to say that they are intrigued* 
 That will be a hard one on me, if it is true. But this I 
 have for consolation, viz : that those who regard the 
 truth will not condemn me ; and those who care not for 
 the truth will only get disappointed with the truth ; and 
 I pity them- 
 
 I went from Sing-Sing to New- York, in a steani ves- 
 sel, and (raced the wharves, from ship to ship, in quest 
 ofa berth for two days ; but 'twas in vain. I had to 
 sleep on a bench, or on the floor, in a watch-house, and 
 two different times I mustered spunk enough to ask for 
 some cold cuts at the back door. This was extremely 
 operose on my mind, and, I thought, if I must beg my 
 bread at last, I'll make sail into the country, and bring 
 up among the farmers. This was in December, 1832 ; 
 and I weathered it pretty well until February. As I had 
 made out honestly to get a few clothes, I started for 
 New- York again, thihking to get a berth on some ves- 
 sel. I got a ride a few miles, and it was the most blus- 
 tering and cold day that I ever suffered in. Just after 
 dark, I arrived at a village called Wrye ; and when I 
 
2i)7 
 
 g(3t iiiio a house, I srr:ipid haif-a-pitit of ice off my face f 
 and aliliough 1 liad tuentj-five cents, and offered to pay 
 for my lodging, I went from liouse to liouse, till eleven 
 o'clock, entreating the people to let me stay, but u\ vain. 
 Tills is a hard story, but it is true, I went to the justice 
 of the peace, and he told me to go to the tavern. 1 
 pM hirn I had been there two or tliree timeb*, and had 
 been denied. '* Well," said he, *• go ngain ; I ^uess 
 they'll let you stay." 1 did go, and was again cV^iied. 
 
 At la.st I got about tJie centre of the village, and 
 sung out ** Alurder !" repeatedly as loud os 1 could yell : 
 but as I had called at every house, they knew who it 
 was, and were not alarmed. After a while, J went to 
 a back door of the tavern, and, without knocking, en- 
 tered the room and took a seat. The landlord had toW- 
 nic, a sh.ort time previous, that his wife and some of his 
 children v.-ere sick; it m/Iglit have been the case — but 
 they must have had a skilful physician, fur v/hen I en- 
 tered they were all merry, gnd the kndlord pretty well 
 corned. He approached with a pitcher in his hands,, 
 flaying, *• You njay have some cider, but you can't slay 
 here." I told him I wanted civility and humanity, not 
 cider : and that 1 believed I could stay there, if he had 
 any feehngs. His wife spake, and 'twas done. What 
 there was in my appearance or physiognomy tliat ex- 
 cited their terror, I have not 3-et found out. 1 assure 
 you that, whatever they did surmise of evil, it was not 
 in me; for I felt as humble as a puppy, and perfectly 
 harmless. The next morning, which was Sunday, after 
 giving the last cent I bad to the landlord, 1 started with- 
 out any breakfast, and footed it to New- York, a distance 
 &f SO miles ; and took up my old lodgings in Eldridge- 
 
208 
 
 street, at the watch-house ; from thence I went on Mon- 
 day to a sailor boarding-house. Though my old fami- 
 liar habits were constantly exhibited all around me, { 
 made out to keep the pilot awake, and in ten days 1 got 
 a berth on board of a London line packet, in which I 
 performed a very tedious voyage. My days lor seaiiian- 
 ship had gone by. It was mortifying to my spirit, though 
 I had been to the lowest notch of degradation, whicli 
 my shipmates knew nothing about. I say it was disa- 
 greeable to be willing to go ahead, and after striving to 
 do so, be li^ft in the rear. My shipmates and the officers 
 were sensible of my ambition, and favoured me greatly, 
 but advised me to try to get a livelihood on shore, if I 
 could ; and as my bodily infirmities will not allow me 
 to be much agitated, I siiall try to get along as well as 
 I can ; steer with a small helm ; try to keep the pilot 
 awake; keep a bright eye to the windward on my com- 
 modore tir3 truth ; sell as many of these books as the 
 people have a mind to purchase, and tiy to make good 
 use of the proceeds. 
 
 Do you ask what religious society I belong lol I'll 
 soon give you my views on that subject. As a con- 
 demned culprit, 1 constantly i'etA dependent on the au- 
 thor of my existence for salvation, through the merits 
 of Christ. I go to any churcli that seems to me best 
 on the occasion-— comply with their rules — 'li^ien atten- 
 lively— en-ibrace all tliat agrees with reason and the 
 word of God — avoiding all human creeds and traditions 
 of men —^concluding all sects measurably iu error, and 
 measurably riglit. For the last five years I have, for 
 instruc'tion and information, been a strict observer of 
 practices, bolli civil and ecclesiastical, imtionaliy, collec- 
 
1^09 
 
 tiTely, and individually ; and my conclusion is, that nnen 
 are ignorant, selfish, and imperfectly to be irusted, since 
 the faU of man. In every order of men, selfishness 
 points to some inten st of self, as steadily as the needle 
 does to the pole. Tlie clergy make creeds, which par- 
 take of the imperfections of iheir authors ; and where 
 is their authority to bind men's consciences ? Every 
 man mu^t receive the law at the month of Christ, and 
 give personally an account of himself to his Creator^ 
 
 CONCLUSION- 
 
 Life's failures and troubles must still be my lot , 
 Hope's joys are but bubbles, and pleasures are not; 
 There may be some roses my path to adorn, 
 But truth presupposes they'll ail wear a thorn. 
 
 As it is now over six years since I have altered the 
 objects of my pursuit, and have been enjoying a regu- 
 lar course of civih'zed society, it may be interesting to 
 some of my readers to know what I have been about. 
 I shall therefore give a short, impartial description. 
 
 While I was in Sing-Sing prison, I made up my 
 mind, (for the honour of justice,) that when I should 
 get my liberty, I would write a pamphlet, describing 
 what I knew to be the truth concerning the uncharita- 
 We treatment that most of the keepers exhibited to the 
 14 
 
210 
 
 miserable inmates of the prison. I did not cherish the 
 anticipation of the task with delight, but to the reverse. 
 When I thought of it, a solemn awe rested on my mind 
 I could not persuade myself that those culprits did not 
 deserve severe afflictions, and on this ground I put it 
 off. Then again, the arrogance of the keepers would 
 come in view. Many of the convicts are very much 
 hardened, and will persuade themselves that they are 
 ill treated, do what you will ; but even in this case,, 
 prompt integrity,, with mild means, are the best ; for a 
 cynical spirit will nevev beget Jove, {know, for I have 
 tried it, that I can get a stubborn cross child to love me 
 sooner by soft means, than some others can by bestow- 
 ing many presents. I also considered, by my own 
 measure, that in that prison there was many a sincere, 
 tender-hearted mourner, many a bruised reed, that, if 
 broken by the hard hammer of cruelty, might be lost 
 to all eternity. Weighing these considerations, and 
 finding the latter much the heavier, I determined to 
 keep within the bounds of truth, -wrote the pamphlet, 
 and entitled it " Five Years in State Prison." There 
 was no small excitement drawn into operation in the 
 minds of the people, v/hen, with a large literal show- 
 bill, I commenced selling my stigmatizing pamphlet 
 about the streets and markets of the city. It was not 
 long before I could hear the boys m all directions cry- 
 ing out, " Five years in State Prison ! here comes Five 
 Years in State Prison!" This was truly humiliating 
 to the natural man ; and had it not been that I was in 
 straitened circnmstances, I think my pride would have 
 overcome my desire to do good. But truth, extracted 
 fro^ necessity, is as good as if it was on the foundation 
 
21i 
 
 of prejudice. I sooa found, however, that necessity 
 was but a poor safeguard for truth, in the estimation of 
 most people. I was bold to attest to the truth of the 
 above pamphlet, as being my own experience. Some 
 wexe so swelled with haughty disdain, that they said, 
 (seldom wichout an imprecation or an oath,) " You 
 ought to go back, and stay there for life.'' It was hard 
 for me to keep from retaliating ; sometimes I got ofTmy 
 guard, but generally kept in mind that humility is bet- 
 ter than pride. 
 
 There were some gentlemen (I suppose I must term 
 them) at a wholesale store, near Whitehall-street, one 
 day, who asked me what I would take to read one of 
 the pamphlets through? I made them no answer: 
 they offered me, I think, twenty-five cents. I thought 
 I could do it in less than an hour, and that would be 
 good wages; but the condition was, that I was to 
 mount, and stand on a pile of codfish, and m the form 
 of an orator perform the task. As in the pamphlet the 
 baseness oi my past acts was plainly developed, the task 
 was not a small one. My boldness was not of the bra- 
 zen sort, yet I hated to be defeated. They staked the 
 money ; I mounted,; the force of my agitation produced 
 the cold sweat, but I read on; while'they, observing 
 my firmness, purchased a pamiphlet, left me the twenty- 
 five cents, and retired. I sold eleven thousand of thes€ 
 pamphlets ; but it took me so long, and my expenses 
 were so great on steamboats, railroads, and other ways, 
 that I did not make much. 
 
 I must remark, that I met with but little opposition 
 from the candid part of community. It was only from 
 the vulo^ar and profane, and those who were constrained- 
 
212 
 
 from vicious practices, and vulgar language, by policy* 
 worldly honour, or what I shall term devilish, integri- 
 ty, generally to be met vi^ith around hotels, theatres, and 
 livery stables, on a Sunday morning. No preacher, 
 and few other men, have the advantage that I had in 
 selling those pamphlets, of obtaining a knowledge of 
 the positions of the minds of men or youth. Those 
 who had no internal knowledge of reformation, and 
 were base themselves, seeing my exhibition, and hear- 
 ing my confession, and taking me to be one of the vilest 
 wretches on earth, blazed out in their natural and cor- 
 rupted light. Had I been a man in reputation and 
 credit, or had I been a preacher, or had I substantially 
 proved myself innocent of the crimes for which I went 
 to state prison, the vulgar and profligate would have 
 thrown a garb of innocence over his evil propensities, 
 which would have left me in the dark as to a know- 
 ledge of his character. I also had frequent opportuni- 
 ties of removing, or stirring up the erroneous preju- 
 dices, that too easily get a seat in the minds of profes- 
 sors of Christianity. Having but little knowledge of 
 human creeds, or church government, (Alas, had I but 
 continued so!) I went to the meetings where those at- 
 tend with whom I was best acquainted, those that I took 
 to be the warmest-hearted Christians — and that was 
 mostly among the Methodists. I felt as if I were one 
 of their number ; for one year before, J let them have 
 my name on probation. At the end of the six months, 
 I was welcomed as a member of that society, and con- 
 tinued so to be about two years. During this time, I 
 fell in wuth some strong written w^orks in favour of 
 ynitarianism. such as the society termed Christians 
 
213 
 
 ][>rofess to hold to. The arguments they contained ap- 
 peared to me to concur with the scripture, yet I did not 
 wholly concede to them ; I was afraid of undervaluing 
 the Redeemer. 
 
 The strength of my faith in the Methodist doctrmes 
 \vas much impaired by the practice of some of their of- 
 ficial members, the particulars of which I do not wish 
 to relate, as it was trifling, only the common fallibility 
 -of man, so prone to be allured by the love of self, pow- 
 ^r, and opulence. I read a celebrated work on the 
 doctrine of the trinity, commenced by Fletcher, and 
 finished by Joseph Benson. But this did not balance 
 the account; the matter in my estimation was yet the 
 heaviest in the unitarian scale. I could not view the 
 Saviour in the light of ancient unitarianism, as a mere 
 man, neither could I see a glimpse of him in the splen- 
 did blaze of prevailing trinitarianism, as the self existing 
 Supreme First Cause of all creation. 1 prayed to God 
 according to the direction of St. James, first chapter, 
 and fifth verse; and used my endeavours to act accord- 
 ing to the direction of Christ himself, recorded in the 
 7th chapter of John, 16th and 17th verses. This, all 
 will acknowledge to be the only right way, (the con- 
 firmed infidel, with some others, excepted.) Whence, 
 "ihcH, so much discussing and debating? What is the 
 amount of it, in the true Christian light? For my 
 rpart, I feel a ponderous weight of obligation to guard 
 •against it. But so strong is the desire for the gratifi- 
 »cation of self-will, in most people, that they are easily 
 infatuated: for, let a man have the most strict desire, 
 heartfelt, internally, to adhere to the import of the Bi- 
 ble, though his argument be intuitive, if it crosses the 
 
214 
 
 established notion, it is rejected. How often do yotr 
 hear, after the preacher has been slinging iire-brands 
 at those he rejects, as embracing erroneous tenets, 
 among the dispersing congregation, " Did'nt he give 
 it to them? was'nt that a good one for them," &c. 
 This exhibits to me the spirit of Jehu, " Come, see my 
 zeal for the house of the Loid.'^ Don't think by the 
 above, that I wish to convey the idea that I am perfect, 
 or as perfect as I might, or ought to be. Alas for 
 me! this is not the case ; I too often have to lament 
 that my zeal outgoes my knowledge. But I have a 
 powerful help at hand, always ready, when I call; na 
 less than that Spirit which the Lord said should come 
 into the world, to reprove of sin, righteousness, and 
 judgment ; and I ever hope to cherish a sense of gra- 
 titude, as I know I am gaining ground. If I fall, it 
 will be my own fault. I would have remarked that 
 every condition, recorded in the Bible, for us to make 
 use of, is followed by a promise. If we do not fail to 
 eomply with the condition, be sure that God will not 
 fail to bestow the promise, which is no less than the 
 pearl of great price. 
 
 *' I care not for government's stock, 
 I covet no Mexican mine; 
 Let prudence my cabinet lock,^ 
 And never expose it to swine. 
 
 They know not its beauty, forsooth ; 
 They cannot its uses unfold ; 
 Go buy it from heaven, dear youths 
 Nor sell it for millions of gold." 
 
2i5 
 
 1 have come to ihc conclusion, of late, that I will 
 iiot be troubled about the '* Lo heres, or lo theres;" for 
 a few reasons, which it will probably be no harm to 
 explain. I conclude that error exists, in a greater or 
 less degree, among every class of Christian professors, 
 as a community. To the reverse of this, much truth is 
 intended, and in operation among the fame. I feel un- 
 der no obligation, as it regards tenets, to any society; 
 for I got my knowledge from the Bible : and my wis- 
 dom, be it little or much, from the same fountain from 
 whence ail Christians profess to obtain theirs. But I 
 do feel undur obligations to give credit to every indi- 
 vidual by whom I am enlightened and instructed. I 
 look upon every house, or place of Christian devotion, 
 to be designed as a place to worship the only God of 
 the Jew and Christian. Hopeing to meet him there, 
 I feel free to enter. By this freedom, I have a chance 
 to judge for myself, and not take a hearsay to judge 
 my fellows with; striving to live by no law, but the 
 iaw of faith and good works. "Yes," says one, "I 
 think your policy is good on your own behalf; you 
 cixn go through the world, and have no one to watch 
 you." To such I can only say — Poor silly creature ! 
 what is an eye-servant good for? and what if I should 
 be watched by one society, and that only where I am 
 known, if inclined to vice or folly, hovv^ easy I could 
 pass for anything but a Christian where I was not 
 known 
 
 I would not give much for that man's religion, who 
 would hide from God, if it were possible. 
 
 As it regards the trinity and unity of God, I have 
 #ome to the conclusion that Jesus Christ was God m^- 
 
2t6 
 
 nifest in the flesh, and the only person in the Godhead, 
 as they term it. God is admitted to be a spirit, with" 
 out body or parts. You can find it among chaich ar^ 
 tides. I think if the great Infinite Power had ever 
 intended to be personified by finite mortals, he would 
 have made himsei^f visible to them. As we have no 
 account of his ever doing this, I shall take the liberty, 
 fcom scripture authority, of estimating for myself 
 Christ the person of the living God. And if the Ho- 
 ly Spirit can be personified as a part of the one Ba- 
 prenie God, so far, every one that is a partaker of 
 this blessed Spirit, is identified as being part of the per- 
 ton of God. 
 
 The ideas stand thus with me: God, the power, ope- 
 rating by his spirit in us, this we can only feel; thia 
 is the most satisfactory evidence of his existence. God 
 the Son, in person, giving us an example how to obtain 
 that comforting spirit, of which his share was without 
 measure. These are ideas concurring with the import 
 of scripture, and easy comprehended. By comprehend- 
 ed I mean ideas in the head ; but joy consists in th& 
 ieeling of the heart. 
 
 I had pretty well run out the sale of my state prison 
 pamphlet, in the fall of 1835, when I received a letter 
 from a rich uncle, who resided in Kentucky. As I 
 had written a large manuscript, my object was to ob- 
 tain assistance from him to get it printed. I had cash 
 enough to pay for the printing and paper of 2,0OC^ 
 more of my pamphlets. These were to bear my ex- 
 pences on my long journey. I went to Philadelphia * 
 but as I had sold over a thousand in that city the sum- 
 mer previous, I had not much success. So I took the 
 
217 
 
 fail-road, and was landed in Lancaster. As I was a 
 stranger in that place, I happened to put up at rather 
 an ordinary house, kept by a social, free-hearted Hi- 
 bernian. No sooner had he learned that I had been a 
 sailor, than he invited nie to drink with him. This is 
 a comnaon practice, too prevailing in its effects of draw- 
 ing custom ; but I refused to be drove by that teamster ; 
 I balked with him: I told him I should be a poor cus- 
 tomer at the bar; and he could not but commend me 
 for my determination. The landlord had an old cus- 
 tomer, who was then absent. He came home the next 
 day. He was a man of wealth, but a hard drinker. 
 The landlord spoke much to his praise during the first 
 evening that I staid there. My bed the first night was 
 a hard one, and I dreaded going to bed the next night; 
 but was agreeably disappointed by finding myself con- 
 ducted to the best bed in the house ; w^hile the favourite 
 old customer occupied the one I slept on the night pre* 
 rious. 
 
 I do not wish to boast of my goodness ; but thus you 
 see scripture fulfilled — ''When a man's ways please 
 the Lord, he maketh his enemies to be at peace with 
 him." 
 
 I started from Lancaster, and was about three weeks 
 in gettingto Pittsburgh, stopping at villages, along the 
 Juniatta and Johnstown canals. In Pittsburgh, I 
 made out well; then purchased a small skiflT, put my 
 boxes and trunk in her, and launched off into the plea- 
 sant Ohio. She was deeply laden ; and the rapid cur- 
 rent soon bore me from under the thick smoky gloom 
 that constantly hangs over and surTounds the city of 
 Pittsburgh. I could now congratulate myself as being 
 
218 
 
 master of my own ship and cargo. I stopped at Bea- 
 ver, Liverpool, Wellsvilie, and Steubenviile. Before 
 i got ready to start from the latter place, the Ohio, 
 river was ahnost covered with ice ; and the people told 
 rae it was impossible for me to proceed ; but they knew 
 not that I had taken my first vojngeovev a dam in the 
 Hudson river before I was nine years of age. I shoved 
 off It was seven miles to Wellshurgh, on the oppo- 
 site side of the river. I was safe landed at that place 
 in a little more than an hour after I started. Here I 
 put up for the night; but on looking at my watch, I 
 found it was about 3 in the morning, and concluded to 
 start. Ihad 500 miles to go, and had no notion of get- 
 ting frozen up, if I could help it. The landlord thought 
 I was crazy, when I routed him up to pay my bill. — 
 But I got my cargo in my skifl^ and shoved off among 
 the ice. My object was to get to Wheeling, a distance 
 of 16 miles. But, in all my seafaring life, I was never 
 so near being lost; it was intensely cold, and I had to 
 use my utmost exertions to keep from stiffening. I 
 sold my skiff at Wheeling, took the steamboat, and, af- 
 ter running the greatest part of our passage through 
 the ice, I was landed at Port William, Kentucky. I 
 found m}^ uncle the nabob of that part of the country. 
 Though I was welcomely received, I found him rather 
 a hard customer — a slaveholder; and, as I had no 
 knack of flattery, but promptly, in conversation, spoke 
 the sentiments of my mind, I did not succeed in my 
 object of getting my work printed. The insignificant, 
 selfish pride that was in constant operation in my un- 
 cle's family, so disgusted me, that I remained v/ith 
 them but a short time. But I made an honourable re- 
 
219 
 
 tiTal. I purchased a quantity of pamphlets and song 
 books, at Cincinnati, which were repugnant to my 
 principles. With these I could not prosper. I also 
 bought a quantity of jewelry ; and though it was my 
 interest to dispose of it, yet I could not conscientiously 
 recommend it; but often dissuaded customers, espe- 
 cially youth, from purchasing them. This was owing 
 to a contrast in my mental powders, desire and wmH, 
 acting in opposition to conscience. 
 
 The above, and some other mismanagement of my 
 affairs, was the means of my having once more to wear 
 thin clothes, with empty pockets. I have just laid out 
 the last three cents for a candle to finish this copy by. 
 So, good night. 
 
 Yox3NG people of our nation, 
 Of skilful information. 
 Who wish to hold a station 
 
 In probity and praise ! 
 Just take me for a sample : 
 Avoid my bad example ; 
 On reason do not trample, 
 
 And vv'aste your youthful days. 
 
 Just listen to my story, 
 It is not one of glory ; 
 ni give an inventory 
 
 Of many vicious acts : 
 I know that seme will pity, 
 While others feel so witty, 
 They'll scorn my serious ditty, 
 
 And launch at sincere facts. 
 
2^0 
 
 At nine years old I started, 
 From friends and home I parted^ 
 Gtuite light and single-hearted. 
 
 My mother she was dead ; 
 My mind in constant motion, 
 To sail I had a notion, 
 Across the boist'rous ocean, 
 
 With ardent speed I fled. 
 
 False hope was my conductor^ 
 And fate my sole instructor ; 
 Discomfort, that obstructor, 
 
 Stood often in my way ; 
 Urg'd on by inclination, 
 Each passion held its station, 
 With little permutation, 
 
 I gave my mind to play. 
 
 When war's wild blast was blowing, 
 Arm'd ships to sea were going, 
 Ambitious minds were flowing, 
 
 The simple to allure; 
 Their music so delightful, 
 Vv^ho would have thought them spiteful I 
 To me It was not frightful, 
 
 I thought their object pure. 
 
 To sail I then enlisted. 
 By flattering fools assisted, 
 In bondage I was twisted, 
 
 To face the daring foe ; 
 'T was there I had a sample 
 Of every bad example. 
 To teach me how to trample. 
 
 And from the truth to go. 
 
221 
 
 Thus many years pursuing-, 
 Each distant country viewing-, 
 I never thought of ruing, 
 
 But practis'd every sin : 
 In trouble oft detected, 
 By folly not affected, 
 Conipanions 1 selected. 
 
 Of Satan's nearest kin. 
 By fancy I was guided, 
 Integrity derided, 
 From probity I slided, 
 
 And truih I left behind ; 
 But conscience often told me 
 That God in guilt would hold rne. 
 And death would soon enfold me, 
 
 God's justice I should find. 
 I knew, without repentance, 
 That God would pass the sentence, 
 And send me where relentance 
 
 Could give me no relief: 
 I felt that I was tending, 
 The downward road descendin_e, 
 And dismal fate impending, 
 
 I thought of no reprieve. 
 
 There was no real pleasure 
 In all my vicious treasure, 
 It was too scanty measure 
 
 To satisfy my soul ; 
 But short was the duration 
 Of every good sensation ] 
 I trampled on probation, 
 
 As passing time did roll. 
 
222 
 
 W" hile on the ocean prowling, 
 Where boist'rous waves were rolling 
 And whistling winds were howling, 
 
 It wa5 my constant aim, 
 Of w^ages to be saving, 
 To gratify my craving 
 For pleasure, almost raving, 
 
 My m^ind was light and vain. 
 
 in battle, what a wonder, 
 Where cannons roar like thunder. 
 Ail for the sake of plunder. 
 
 And sanctioned by the wise : 
 Where balls like hail a flying, 
 Some gasping, others dying. 
 Poor wounded souls a crying, 
 
 A hell without disguise. 
 
 My learning thus I gained, 
 My course I still maintained, 
 My native land regained, 
 
 . And sanguine war was stayed. 
 By habit grown so vicious, 
 Of justice not suspicious, 
 My practice was pernicious, 
 
 While crime on crime I laid. 
 
 Often for sin I grieved, 
 
 For grace my bosom heaved, 
 
 The Bible I believed. 
 
 When soberly inclined ; 
 But sad inebriation 
 Excited my vexation, 
 And drove each obligation 
 
 Far distant -from my mind. 
 
223 
 
 I had no satisfaction ; 
 For eveiy vicious action 
 Increased my mind's distraction. 
 
 In retrospective view. 
 But mercy kept her station. 
 While bold infatuation, 
 With skilful penetration, 
 
 So closely did pursue. 
 At last I was arrested, 
 My guilt was manifested, 
 Of liberty divested, 
 
 In prison I was bound, 
 By former hopes forsaken, 
 By justice overtaken, 
 Dull conscience to awaken, 
 
 My character I found. 
 Three years for meditation, 
 To list my inclination, 
 By self-examination, 
 
 What more could grace besiovv 7- 
 I thought I had perfection, 
 My wall was in subjection, 
 By tracing the direction, 
 
 The scriptures plainly show. 
 
 Now here I was at leisure 
 To seek the heavenly treasure, 
 Which fills the soul "with pleasure, 
 
 Surpassing worldly joy. 
 I found, by strict perpension, 
 That great was my declension 
 Ot righteous comprehension, 
 
 Which tended to destroy. 
 
224 
 
 I felt a strong desire 
 
 To gain the haliow'd fire. 
 
 That would my soul inspire, 
 
 And set my spirit free; 
 Formality I gained, 
 No farther I attained, 
 Yet hope I still retained 
 
 That happy I should he. 
 
 Once more I was deceived, 
 
 Of liberty bereaved, 
 
 And two years more was grieved, 
 
 In servile servitude; 
 Once more my heart exploring, 
 And fatal case deploring, 
 I could not help imploring 
 
 Though God should me exclude, 
 
 This last and great restriction 
 Wrought in me deep conviction ; 
 I felt the just affliction, 
 
 The fruit of my own choice. 
 I form'd a resolution, 
 To shun the world's pollution, 
 And frame a constitution 
 
 By Wisdom's lovely vocce. 
 
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