I'RKSKNTKl) m 7.V:.: xm^^ m^ vV*7^^ fs^' t'^l^' '>S^'2'^ ^t^; ^ i?^:i /^ Mwrml^ii "^ /9^/ .6 Co \ ''^ . o\ ^^ TS it fit that I should infuse a bunch of myrrh into the festi- J^ val goblet, and after the Egyptian manner serve up a dead man's bones at the feast ? I will only show it, and take it away again, and it will make the wiiie bitter but wholesome. Thos«^ married pairs that live as remembering that they must part again, shall at the day of their death be admitted to glorious espousals."— JEREMY TAYLOR. ii ri IVE my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uh- ^^ common union, which has so long subsisted between us, has been of such a nature, as I trust is spiritual, and therefore will continue forever : and I hope she will be supported under so great a trial, and submit cheerfully to the will of God." — FRESIORM EDWARDS' LAST MESSAGE TO HIS WIFE. miitlj l^is Permission, Eo Jgonoratile Secretat]) Sag, l^istortan, Statesman, diplomat, Poet, iFrientJ» ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ^ « « c ms Is tuv mnt^ birthday t atid nirs* edujards, mv mother, b«9S bad mc stitcl) ti?c$e $u»s }^] dry sbeets of paper Into a book to make me a fotsruaS* IHetbinks, almost all tbis family keep fournals : tboisgb tbey seldom sbou^ But tnrs« €dwards is to see ., because sbe ueeds to ktiow Di^betber 1 improve in composing; also, wbelber 1 am leartiiug to keep my beart witb an diligence, in wbicb we are all constrained to be engaged* c « €bere bas been a great religious awakening bere among tbe cbildren* One of my littfle mates, Pboebe Bartlett, only a few years older tban myself, seems to be a wonderful €bristian, and bas been one, ever since sbe was four years of age« So lllr* €dwards, my fatber, tbinks* 1 do not expect to be ^If 10 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4'^ 4'^ 4.|. ^ $ucl9 a Christian as tl)att but! want to ^^ ^1^ be a real onct and wbcn 7 am unzcn^ ^\a Z ltlr« Edwards says 1 may unite with tbe z ^If people of 6odt wbzct? is a ^ery un- 4l§^ ^ common tbing for children to do, tbougb . ^ ^T be believes tbcy may* .Hnd yet be is T^j^^ ^■> very strict in bis notions about sucb «,^ ^'^ tbindSt believing tbat no person sbould ^'3^ ^1^ be a cburcb=membery wbo has not been 4|^ J born of tbe Ooly 6bost, in wbicb be ^ ^If differs from some of tbe parisb, wbo ^l^^ X bave been instructed otherwise* i If ^^. 4^ 4f *¥ 4f 4i|» 4^ 4i|. I ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 11 tl^Hh^mptoti, Dec«t ll^h graduated from £olUa^f and with Mr* Edwards^ catue to our bouse to=dav* lie looked to find father at bonte, and Is m some great trouble of mind* Ife told Illrs« Edwards be bad mtended to study tbeology ivitb 111r« Gilbert Cennent of Hei^ Jersey, but wbeti be beard I11r« €dii^ards preacb at tbe m^w f^aveti Commettcestientt be cbanged bis mind as to tbis» and bas come bilber eigbty miles on borsebacUt from USaterbury in Connecticut* Our motber, wbo always undertalies to do in father's absencct wbat sbe thinks he would do were be at bomct seeing her visitor so wretched and desiressedt bas been holding conversation with him on religiout and be seems in better spirits now« me girlSt Serusba, Hlary and It seeing his immense f rame, bis great bon^ est facet and hearing bis ponderous voicct have maliciously nick=named him **01d Sincerity." mother shakes her m m m K u u J E ^ E m ^ ^ B ^ ^ ^ m m iVjir©) ((P«l/i ( (ir«^^ 12 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL bead at us and puts ber finger en ber lipst but we are sometimes ready to burst out wit!) mischief; not because be pro= vokes or deserves it, but because it is in us; as 1 venture to say, it is in all dirls* « « c e « « c m M 4f4|i iW «»x ^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 13 ^ i *&^ ^ ^ ^ m RS* Edwards was tbirtv* three v^n'tv=tbree ? MnA W.r* €d« wards Is forty — seven years older than she* Mrs* €dwards seemed very serf* ous all the day Ions ; as if she were in> wardty prayingt ^'I^ord* so teach me to number my days, that I may at>p1y my heart unto wisdom/' Indeed, this she said to us fiirlSt when we were tryinis to practice some birthday frolics upon her« JInd when she came from her clos> et=devotionst her face actually shone, as though, like Hloses, she had come down from the mount* 1 do not think we dirls ever will be so saintly as our moth« er is« Jit any rate, we do not hedin so» 1 do not know as T want to be, which is very wicked, 1 am sure* 1 think, that perhaps Sarah may; she is the flower of this family* «««««« 4h# 14 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4f 4» 4f 4v 4f 4* 2C ^i^^i^^i^^i^^i^^i^^i^^i^^i^ ^j% Hertbamptotit 3aii« 27t 1742« flamttig vouna prcacbcrt iust from tbc college at ileiv liaven, ba$ cottie to town* l§e preaci^est every day, asid twice a day i our dear boti» ored ?atl?ert wlio $o much bears tbe burdens of all tl)e cburcl^est being ab= sentt doing the work of an evangelist* Illy precious ntotber, though she would gladly conceal it, is not a little CKcr^ cised to see the people flocUing after the young herald of the 0ros$, as though they never heard preaching be* fore* Wis name is Buell, and he is a classmate in college of Samuel liop^ kins* But, 1 can see this morning that she has wrestled with the Cord, and gotten the victory, for she says so sweetly and triumphantly : ** lUould 6od, that all the Cord's people were prophets, and that 0od would put his spirit upon them*'' « « « c nir* Buell will stay the second week, and then nir* Ifopkins will go with him, as a kind of armor=bearer, or lieutenant, to Boston, to capture that city for the Cord* many Christians have been greatly guickened and sinners converted* 1 am not certain how my honored father would regard some things that mr* Buell does* But T am sure, he would say, '' Che Cord save by whom he wilt save*" « c « ^ ^ ^ .A^ ^ ^ ^ ■tf» ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 15 northampi^tit 5^ti* 27> again* ^€ bai^e |ti$t eottie In front the tbree o^elocU lecture* Cbc t^^aee i^as too strait for u$t and tbc t^eoplc were deeply mo^ed* fHany wept» and not a Hw remained for a period of tbree hours for conversation and inqulrv* nty honored mother, whose spirit at^swers so enlng there was something seraphic In her depression, and when she kissed me for the night, methought 1 looked on the face of an angel* my honored father and dear mother seem to me different from other people In this, that their whole nature Is attuned to 0od*s service and praise* €hey utter themselves at once, as though they felt. If they held their peace, the very stones would cry out* mho knows but they would? the Northampton stones are wont to hear such preaching* « « (CI* a/jJ^J) jj^j) fifO) fS^J) (Wj) 16 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL northamptotit f cb* 13, 1742, have iust come tripping ut> stairs from mortiittg worship, and the song of the service still follows me* 1 have hec^ thinking what a singing fam^ ily the Edwards' family is* mother's voice we have heard in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, ever since our early babyhood* She sang us on our pilgrim way, when we were in our cradles, Und to all the house, her voice is always uplifting like the lark's, as though her soul were mounting up to heaven's shining gate on wings of song* If father ever gets low-spirited from his ^'humors," as he calls them, her voice is to him like medicine, as David's harp was to King $auU JVndwhen she once begins, there is Sarah and 3erusha and myself, like the ascending pipes of an organ, ready to unite in making a joy^ ful noise to the Cord, all over the house; so that our home is more like an aviary than the dwelling of a Colonial parson* mother has been correcting the few pages of my iournal and father has given me to transcribe into it, a descrip- tion which he wrote of a certain lady. i^}{^f^\^^V^r^}[^j^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 17 ivbcn she was but thirteen years old* Chi$ is only three years older tbati 1 am MOW* Rere is the extract:— **€bey $ay there is a youtig lady in Reiv leaven who has a strange sweet* ness in her mind* and a singular purity in her affections; is mostiust andcon= scientious in all conduct, and you could not persuade her to do anything wrong or sinfult if you should sive her all \hz world* She is of a wonderful sweetness and calmnesst and universal henevo» lence of mind; especially^ after the great 0od has manifested himself to her mind* She will sometimes go about from place to place singing sweetly, and seeming to be always full of loy and pleasure, and no one knows for what* She loves to be alone, and walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have some One ins visible conversing with her*" Chis was Sarah Pierrepoint, my precious mother* Illr* €dwards wants me to be like her* mhat do they say of a young lady, also a minister's daughter, who lives in this town of northampton? my mother says, my Journal thus far is rather stilted and mature for me; though everything in the family is mature* 1 have a letter of my father's, written when he was younger than 1 am, which T shall trans- d >m ^ ^V' «•» ^^r o^N' ^^^ '^K ^ ^^^ ^^r ^ 'i*' -^^ iKC ^If 78 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4'^ ^ +i» ^f cribCt just to show where the present ^|^ Z writer dets ber stilts and maturity : 2 v' Co miss mary Edwards at l^adley* ^^ ^if Oiindsor, may 10» 1716* 4lf^ ^^ Dear Sister:— -^ ^ Cbroudb the wonderful good> ^ 4glf ness and mercy of 6odt there has been ^\2j^ i in this place a remarkable outpourina i ^f of the Spirit of 6od* It still continues, 4lf^ ^> but 1 think 1 have reason to think it is in 5 ^r some measure diminished; yett T hope ^'^ ^^ not much* Chree have joined the j.^ ^^ church, since you last heard, five now ^^ ^1^ stand propounded for admission; and 1 ^|^ ^ think about thirty persons come com> ^ ^f monly on mondays to converse with 4)3^ ^ father about the condition of their souls* ^ ^^T It is a time of general health here* 4'^ ^^ Jlbiaail, Hannah and Cucy have had the . ^ ^^ chicken«pox and have recovered* Se* ^'^ ^^ rusha is almost well* Except her, the i.^ ^^ whole family is well* ^~ ^f Sister, T am glad 1 hear of your ^|^ X welfare as often as 1 do* 1 should be 2 ^f diad to hear from you by letter, and 413^ S therein, how is it with you, as to your 2 ^r crookedness* 4'^ ^f Vour lovind brother, ^A^ ^A Jonathan €• ^,5^ ^f 41^ ^^4/|^«/|^^^«/lVJft/|»4/J^«/lVJ«/|^Vl^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 19 nortbamptotit lllarcb 6* 1742* HUE just been carfnd for my mockitiflsbirdt wbo is now rewarding me witb a sons* Cbe cat was lurking in tbe ball, and 1 bave |u$t driven berawaywifb tbe broom, witbwbicbT bave been sweeping tbe livinfl«room* Cbougb down by tbe fireside, at twi« lidbt, sbe is my favorite, too, orratber, Serusba's, wbo is very tender of pcis. Hnd even fatber, sometimes, wbile witb us after supper, seems to en|oy ber pur- rinfl, as be strokes ber in bis lap* Cbougb 1 doubt if sbebas mucb divinity about ber; unless it is in ber sparks of electricity, wben sbe is rubbed tbe wrong way* « « « « « ^i^^'^A^j^y^y^^ 20 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL nortbamptotit may 1, 1742« have lust come back front a most wonderful ride with my honored father, mn Edwards, throudh the spring woods* lie usually rides a1one« But, tO" day, he said he had something he want* ed to show me* Che forests between our house and the full=hanked river were very heautlfuK Che wild cherry and the dogwood were In full bloom* Che squirrels were leaping from tree to tree, and the birds were making a varl* ous melody* Chough father Is usually taciturn or preoccupied,— my mother will call these large words,— even when he takes one of us children with him, to* day, he discoursed to me of the awful sweetness of walking with 6od In na« ture* He seems to feel 6od in the woodSt the sky, the clouds and the grand sweep of the river, which winds so malestically through the woody si= lences here* Ife quoted, to=day, from the €antlcles, **J am the Hose of Sharon and the Cily of the valleys,'' applying the words to the Saviour, as though the beauty and loveliness of the Saviour were recalled in the works of creation i ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 21 and tbctit from ih^ Gospel of niobn: ^^Jlll tbitids were made by fiim, and ivitbout film was not anvtbing made* tbat was made/' Cbts was, as 1 sat be= bind on tbe pilliont wbicb we so mucb use as a seat for anotber In borseback ridind* ««««««« Olben we reacbed **Cbe Indian's Olell/' 1 slid off and brougbt a bircb» bark cui> of crystal waHv for fatber to drink* Butt not before T bad given my« self a great surprise* f or^ baving put on my motber's bat in sport, tbe first re- flection in tbe dark water seemed to be tbe face of my motber Instead of my own* Jind ivben T told my fatber, be said* **Jls face answeretb to face in water, so tbe beart of man to man*" Jind tben be told me, tbat be bad given me tbat extract about $arab Pierre^ point, tbat T migbt tbink of wbat my motber was already, wben sbe was still a young maiden* « « c « Going bome, my fatber pointed out to me tbe babits of a flying spider, tbat sallies fortb on bis tbread as upon wings, and is borne by tbe wind from tree to tree, so tbat be is really a great traveler: bow be raises bimself on tips toe, turning up bis body, bow tbe silk fluid in bis body becomes bardened on ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL CKt^osurc to tbc air, f)oiv it is drawn out by the current of tbe ain Indeed, 1 came borne tbinkind a great many new tboudbts, ivbicb my eaicursion bad awakened ; as 1 tbtnk my f atber intend* ed* JInd tbe verse came into my mind t ''Jilt tby works praiscitbee V « « t ESTHER BURR'S xJOURNAL 23 nortbatiiiitoti* Sutie, 1743« IV mother has just come into tbe bou$e» with abuncbof $iveet peas, and put tbem on tbe stand wbere my honored ... .. father Is shaving, though his beard is verv slights me have abundance of flowers, and a vegetable garden, which is early and thrifty, aur sweet com is the first in the town, and so are our green peas« my honored fa> ther of course has not time to give aU tentionto the garden, and so inrs*€d' wards looks after everything there. JII. most before the snow has left the hills, she has it ploughed and spaded by Rose's husband, who does all the hard work there. $he is our colored cook. \iSt hire her services from one of the prominent people in father's parish* who owns both her and her husband. Chat word **owns" sounds strangely about people. « « c « « Kev. Samuel Ifopkins, my father's student in theology, has some very strong opinions against slavery. |$e once said to my father, that he believed L*^)(6^i(^<^ >^7 m 24 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 0od would yet overrule for bis dlory, the comind of the blacks to tbis country; quoting wbat Hlosepb said, ''Vetneant It for evilt but Ood meant it for good." I^e bas already workina in bis areat mindt tbe beginnind of an effort to send Cbristianized nedroes back to J1frica« me girls bave changed bis nickname to *'Old Benevolence;" tbougb we all bave for bim tbe greatest respect* But, we must bave something to make sport about among ourselves* « c « 4h|. m Mr ^S\\^^\{^^\{^^^[^^v^^\^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 25 norfbamptottt !Iu1y 23» 1743* |l^€ Rev* Samuel fjfopltitis has fust paid us a sbert visit. H very strong attaclitnettt f>as spnittfl up bctwecft this youno preacher and my honored f a« ther« Indeedt T believet he has made my father and mother his confidants in a certain affair of the heart, which relates to himself* B certain young lady in northampton— none of the Edwards girls— is the obiect of this attachmentt and alas, it is not successful* It gives us girls a great theme* « « • lllr* f^opkins was to spend the Cord's Day with us, and to preach in my father's stead; though T really be» lieve he would much prefer to listen to my father* JIs it turned out* they both preached, and lllr* f^opliins said the comparison made him ashamed* 4*4|» ^f 26 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4l^ t 4f 4f P^* David Bralncrd sbould have flraduated at Hew l)avcn €ol1cdc Ibis day* inr« €dward$t my fatber, is fcclind mucb burt bc« cause President 61apandtbe Crustees bave treated mr« Brainerdso sbabbily and cruelly* my f atber says, as I tbinli , nevp l]^aven €ollede bas lost tbe brigbt- est ieivel sbe will ever wear In ber crown* Ittr* Brainerd was expelled from tbe College, for saying of one of tbe tutors, wbo seemed indifferent to religious activity,-wben Itlr* Ulbitefield was preacbing in new Daven, and tbe stu- dents were generally giving mucb at- tention to bis word,-tbat be bad no more religion tban a cbair* T can see tbat my fatber tbinks tbat be spake un- advisedly, and sbould make amends for it,— as be was willing most bumbly to do,— but, tbat be very likely spoke tbe trutb* Being a graduate of fbat Col- lege, my fatber bas been greatly bur- dened at tbe irreligion and wickedness prevailing tberei and be is already in conference witb Kev* Itlr* Burr of new- ark a% to founding a college, perbaps, in tbe jerseys, wbere young men can be safe from sucb influences* « « f t I S^«|j|1m|^4/|J4/1VJ«/^^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 27 It seems fbat mn Brainerd was so concerned for fbe studentSt that be went from room to room tatkina and prayina with tfjem all, whether they had made a profession of faith or not. Indeed, lllr. Samuel l^opkins told my father that it was David Brainerd's visit to his room that convinced him that he himself was not a Ghristian, thoudh he was even then intending to study for the ministry* 28 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL S 1 said, to rettirti to tbc tor* ic above: this day David Braiticrd would bavc grad- uated at new leaven College* Butt the Faculty were un« reletitinat notwitbstandind his buttiiliat* Ina confession. I^eis likely to become a member of tbis family. It seems* Soon after coming to nortbampton be display^ ed strong affinity for Ilerusba, our sis« ter of seventeen* wbo was soon inocu* lated ivitb bis bigb spiritual views, and deeply interested in bis Indian wortc* my bonored fatber lllr* Cdwards regards bim a young man of uncommon abilities and gifts of nature, a close student, witb eictraordinary power in tbe pulpit* In private conversa* tion, be is entertaining and profitable, and very instructive on personal and ex« perimental religion* Cbus far, bis In- dian missionary labors bave been soli> tary* l^e tblnks tbis a mistake* Debas bad no domestic attention, no bome care, no one to bold bim back from over exertion* JInd be means now, sbould be ever recover, wbicb 1 very mucb mis- doubt, to take a female belpmate back witb bim. T am pretty sure tbis kind of ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 29 love never would satisfy ttie* 1 believe be loves bert more beeause she will make a aood Itlissiottary, than for any other reason* Butt little does the dear dirl care* $be has laid herself upon the altart and is more than willing to he an offerina for a sweet smellina savour to himt as well as to her divine Saviour and Cord* «««««« ^If 30 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4^ 4f 4f t 4f 4f t t T t T 4* noribamptottt lllay, 14, 1744« S* Edwards, my mother, and my sister Sarah have just set out with mr* f^op* kins on horseback forBos« =>^ ton* niy sister rides behind Itlr* Dopkins, and they are to lodge the first night at Colonel Divight's in Brook- field* Chis leaves a great vac:ancy in our busy home; and intent on his studies as my honored father Ittr* Edwards is, 1 really believe he feels it the most* Chis visit to Boston has been a long time planned, to execute sundry purchases needful for the members of the house" hold* While in Boston, mother and $a> rah are to be entertained at the house of Kev* Itlr* Prince* lllr* Prince has a daughter Sally, younger than our $a» rah— father does not like to hear her nick>named— with whom, T sometimes exchange letters* 1 hope hereafter to visit Boston, myself; though 1 believe, 1 would ratber reside in northampton* ^^ t t j^V|^4/|MJB^«/|^V|M/iVJ«|^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL norfbatnptotft Tcb*, l^t 1747* tbitik 1 never knew so bappv a day* Cbere ba$ been a tbaw* tbe January tbaw, later tban usual, and tbe rain bad frozen on every tree and iwlQQf and ivben tbe sun arose, it was iust as tbougb tbey were all encased in silver* Hnd everywbere tbe broken pieces of ice were cracklina down from tbe elms and maples, all tbe way as we went to tbe bouse of 6od* Cbe air was full of music of tbe sleigb^bells of tbe cburcb<8oers, as tbey drove past* And 1 tboufibt of wbat is said in tbe Scriptures, of tbe bells on tbe bidb priesfs garments, and bow bis sound was beard as be went into tbe boly place; and so tbe greater music of tbe cburcb-bells seemed to say to my soul, Holiness to tbe Cord ! But 1 must begin to speak of earlier in tbe day* 1 was awakened in tbe morning by someone's kissing me on my eyes and my moutb and my ears* In tbe baze of my morning dreams 1 tbougbt it migbt be tbe angels* But, no, T soon saw tbat it was my angeUmotber, and sbe was balf saying and batf sing- 32 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL itig: ^^JlwakCt my €$tbcrt tnv quccti« Cbis is the day of tbinc espousals* Tor the Hind deligbtctb in tbce and calletb tbec by name* l^c brings tbce to I>is banqueting-bousc and H\s banner over tbce is love/' €ben, 1 remembered it w^s my fifteentb birtbdavt and also, tbat 1 was tbat day, to iaVit upon me tbe vows of 6od« Hnd T answered motber, as by a kind of inspiration : '^1 was asleep, but my beart waketb* It is tbe voice of my beloved tbat knocketb* l)is bead is filled witb dew, f^is locks witb tbe drops of tbe nigbt/' Jind I quickly arose, for 1 saw tbe bouse was already astir* « « « « « c c my bonored fatber preacbed on Kutb's Resolution as tbougb to me, from tbe words, ^'Entreat me not to leave tbee, nor to return from following tbee/' (Kutb i> 16«) T sball never forget bis words about tbe people of 0od* l>e said, 'Xbey are tbe most cKcellent and bappy society in tbe world* God wbom tbey bave cbosen as tbeir God, is tbeir Fatber* f^e bas pardoned all tbeir sins, and tbey are at peace witb l^im* Jind f)e bas admitted tbem to all tbe privil* eges of cbildren. Jls tbey bave devoted ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 33 tb^ttisclvcs to eod, so 6od h^% given l>iin$ftlf to tbetti* ^e carries tbetn ott eagle's wings far above Sskii^ti's reacb> and above tbe reacb of all tbeir enemies in tbis world/' Cbis be afterwards le! me copy from bis sermon. Jind 1 said In myibeart* **Cby people sball be my people, and tby 6od my 0od/' « « 34 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4l|^ Dorthamptont 1747* 6Ril$l)11 bas iu$t returned from ber solourti in Boston, ivitb ber sick cbarge, David Brainerdt tbe Indian mis- sionary* Cbey came by easy stages, but be is mucb cKbausted, and 1 believe, is not long for tbis world, llcv= er was tbere sucb devotion, sball 1 say idolatry bestowed upon mortal man, never was tbere so bumble a bandmaid of tbe Cord as Jerusba, Sbe reminds me of wbat is said of Hutb and Boaz : ''lUben sbe fell upon ber face and bowed berself to tbe ground, and said unto bim, UPby bave 1 found grace in tby sigbt, tbat tbou sbouldst take knowU edge of me?'' I^er wbole nature goes out after spiritual tbings, and tbis man is ber ideah $be actually almost wor> sbips tbe ground be treads upon, Sbe feels tbat sbe is unwortby to perform tbe most menial offices for bim, Sbe is lust sure to wear berself out in ber constant ministrations, wbicb are day and nigbt, unremitting and unceasing, Tf be sbould die soon, and 1 believe be will, 1 am sure sbe would prefer to die witb bim, as Cbomas said to tbe Cord about Cazarus, **L^t us go tbat we may 41^. I ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 35 die with l>im!'' Tndccdt wc all fear, tf^at with the close ef his lifCt she will feel that her work is ended, like Simeon, savisig* ^'now lettest thy ^er^atit derart in 9<^^ce/' ft 'I 36 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL nortbamptoti, Oct* 9» 1747* |i)€ sainted mifferer of tbe bouse, our temporary auestt our brother in tbe Cord> bas« at lenfltb^ breatbed bis last* {5e called us all to bis bed- side, and tenderly talked of bis aofna, and bade ust wben we stand by bis aravct to remember bis words* Deex* pressed bimself ready to part ipitb us all. ^*Tor to depart and be witb €brist w^% far better*" Co our ^erusba* bis lona>time nurse* wbo bas ivatcbed and almost felt every pang of bis poor raclt> fd body* for many montbSt be said: *'Dear Serusba, are you ivillino to part tvitb me ? 1 am quite willinfl to part witb you* Cboufib if i tbouabt l sbould not see you and be bappy witb you in anotber world, 1 could not bear to part witb you* But, we will spend a bappy eternity todetber*" JInd so be bad bis messade for eacb one of us all» and tben fell asleep* ^^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 37 I!ertbampfoti, Oct* 12, 1747* >€, bavc fust come bomc from the public improi>e« mctit of David Braincrd's decease. Of course, mv bonored father preact)ed the discourse* l^is text was from 2 Cor. U« 8 : **llbsetit from the t^ody but pres« etit with tbe £ord.'' Ife was unusually exalted, even for bim. Cbe closina bymn was *'mby do we mourn departed friends ? **0r shrink at death's alarms ?" It was sung grandly and triumphantly by our great choir of voices. Dearje- rusha's illuminated face was a study. She was rapt up no more In the living. It seemed as though her soul, liberated from earth, was already mounting up to holy communion with the spirits of the lust made perfect, of whom not one of the great congregation could doubt, Itlr. Brainerd was now one. Und when came the words *'Jlre we not tending upward too, Bs fast as time can move ? nor would we wish the hours more slow Co keep us from our love !'' 38 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL U seemed to me as ihouah sbe saw heaven open, the aolden gates Sifted up and w^% only ivaitina for angeU ^inas to mount tbere« She is not long for this world* Tor exactly nineteen weettSt day and niobt, she has cared for tbis sicit man ; and sbe only eidbt* een* ««««««« 4f l4|j^4^li|M|M|^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 39 norfbampfon, Oct 12, I747* Braiffi^rd's memory at the funeral, wbicb occurred fo« ._,,,^.__^„ «Jav: eiflibt of the neighbor* ^ "^"^ ^ fng ministers beina present, seventeen aentlemen of liberal educa« tion and a great concourse of people* Cbe October foliage, full of glory, seem« ed nature's expression of the triumphal conclusion of his life's years; and when we ali stood at the open grave, and his precious dust was committed to the dust, my father pronouncing the words: *'Jlnd 1 heard a voice from l^eaven say« ing, 'Blessed are the dead that die in the Cord;' yea, gaith with the Spirit that they may rest from their labors, and their works do follow them," it was a solemnity not soon to be forgotten* JInd when we returned home to the dwelling where he had suffered so long, it was like coming back to earth from the gate- way of lieaven* l)ow strangely earth and Ifeaven are brought together in this family! ««««««« 40 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL northamptoiif 1747. ^T^ JJT V S)ottos*cd father !)a$ not eiilv \/| thouahi it a sacred duty to J^\ I care for mr* Brainerd in his \^S> ^^^ bouse* as a friend and auest» rememberind tbe ivordSt ''5e not forgetful to enter* tain strangers; for by so doing* many bave entertained angels unawares:'' butt be bas felt tbat a record of bis saintly cKcrcises and experiences sbould be made for otbers* Be firmly believes tbat tbe lournal be bas kept* is to be lar^gely blessed in making minis- ters and missionaries* till tbe end of time* «•««««• ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 41 tlorthampion, Teb» B4, I74S* ^^lil$ day our dear :9eru$ha died at efdhteen* if as she and ber sainted Davidt and we all believet sbe be gone to ber Father's l^ouse, sbe bas already joined tbe boly company, of wbicb be since last October bas been one^ Cbey bave been separated only five months* Cboudb T doubt, whether be bas ever been absent from her tboudbt and lonoitid love* this is what the world calls St* Ualentine's day, thoudb 1 have been tauabt to tbinlt that all folly* Beind a girl, T suppose, 1 could not help remarking tbe coinci- dence* JInd 7 recalled from the Psalms, as it was my day's reading: **$he shall be brought unto tbe Kina, in raiment of needlework; the virgins, her compan- Ions, that follow ber shall be brought unto thee; they shall enter into the King's palace*" Jind so we shall lay tbe frame of this ministering angel side by side with that of tbe man, who breathed out his life almost in her arms* ■t Is lust five months and two days since bis burial* now they can say in concert, **iny beloved is mine, and 1 am 42 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL n Rorthatitptotit January* t H6JIX: c^ecitcmenf has been ^ occasioned by a new Vcar's 4I9 $lel£tb»ri(ie and ball for dstnc* 2 ingt tbat bas iu$t occurred 4l^ bere« It was a aay party of Vouna peoplCt some of my more intimate friends among tbem, wbo drove to a bo« tel In f^adley, and spent tbe bours till midnidbt In dancing tbe OldVear out ^^ and tbe Rew Vear In* Ulben It was ^ known sucb a party was in contempla- 4l§^ tlon, tbe motbers of tbe young people - bad a prayer-meeting to pray tbat no barm migbt come to tbem ; indeed* tbat tbey migbt be converted to a better style of piety* tban tbey tben bad; for many of ±S^ tbem were already cburcb-members* ^^ Co my bonored fatber and motber, it bas been a time of great grief« Hnd ^ wben witb morning ligbtt tbe great sled- 413^ loads drove up tbrougb tbe streets* witb tbeir iaugbing* giddy freigbt* 1 saw tbe tears In tbe eyes of tbem botb* T am only too glad* tbat none of tbecbildren of tbis family were invited to go : or bad ^|^ tbey been* would baveso far departed ^ from tbe wisbes of tbeir parents* iks to w ^ ^ I t ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 43 care to do so* Zh\s bouscholdt ei^eti ivbcti tbere arc visititta young people as guestSt i$ $0 well regulatedt tbat with nine o'clock conies the hour for family worship when the different members re> tire I while our morning worship is usu> ally by candlelight* c « « « 44 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ^€ ^ave fust been perttiitteil to read Hlcbardson's nov- el; ^'Sir €barles Grandf- $on/' Our fatber and moth- er bave first read it, and regard it a wbolly suitable book a$ to morals and cbaracter* Our bonored fa- ther bas done so far as to express^ad- miration for its literary style, and also to speak bis regret tbat be bad not ear- lier given more attention to sucb ^mat- ters; be being so intent upon tbe tbougbt, as to bave no time to clotbe it in elegant language* Cbis novel ivas sent to us from Scotland, ivbere it bad made a great stir* Of course, to read sucb a book, is an unusual event in sucb a family as ours* jRnd we bave bad a great time taking it in turn, and discus» sing its characters* • c « « 4^^ norfbatnpf^ti* ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 45 filS day, voz Uave dear* sweet nortbatttpton, u^bcre us have been bortit and ivbere ive bape so many ties cblldbood and youtb* €ven tbe very trees around our bonte* seem a paH of us* tbere is one elm, tbat is called my fatber's» be bas so lona studied beneatb lt« Cbouflb tbese places will Itnoiv us no more forever, tbougb mucb bitterness and persecution bave marked tbe men wbo bave com- passed our departure, as my bonored fatber says, we do not ao as David left 3erusalem driven out by tbe rebellion of bis son JIbsalom,--tbougb it seems so to me at least,~but believing in tbe words of tbe sacred writt '*Bebold, 1 send an angel before tbee, to bring tbee into tbe place wbicb 1 bave prepgred* Cead me in tby rigbteousness because of mine enemies % make tby way straigbt before my face/' « « « « « One of tbe bitterest experiences connected witb tbis removal is tbe fact tbat some of tbe active instigators of it are actually nesb of our flesb, and blood of our blood, tbis is more tban tbe Psalmist's complaint of tbe 46 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL t t one wbo ''lifted up the bed against bim :'' ''me tootc sweet counsel togetb' er* and walked to tbe bouse of 0od in company/' tbounb tbis also was true« Jind doubtlesst tbe Cord's servants bavetotake tbe baptism oftbeirinas- ter» wbo quoted tbis passage witb refer- ence to tbe defection of 3udas/' « 4» 2^«|iN|iN|i»«|j«|^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 47 nortbatnptoti* lOCfiine could be more beau> tiful fbati tbe manner, in ivbtcb nir* and lUrs* €cl« wards bave submitted to tbe decision of tbe Council witb its maiority of only one, recommending our removal from tbis place* me cbil' dren bave been indignant beyond eac' pression* It bas not always been pos« sible for us to please our parents by sbowing a meek and quiet spirit* Hnd seeing tbem take everytbing so patients ly, we bave sometimes seemed to feel tbe more satisfaction in sbowing our re sentment. may 0od forgive us, if we are wrong. But, we feel like sbaking tbe dust off of our very feet, as a testi* mony against a people, to wbom our fa- tber bas ministered in boly tbings for so many years, and wbo bave been born of of bis ministration of tbe trutb into tbe Kingdom of 0od* « • « « « 4f^ 48 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL Stocltbridgc, mass*f Dec* 22* 174S* letter to lllr* Edwards, my honored father, from IHr* Burr, staHs that the new Jersey College was organ* ized under an enlarged charter, Dov* 9, and that he has been chosen President to succeed Itlr* Dick* enson« who has lately died* For the present* he will serve without salary* €here Is a graduating class of eight, of whom sei^en expect to be ministers of the 0ospeK mr* Burr has two tutors to assist him* lie himself teaches the an« cient languages and mathematics, cal- culates eclipses and practices survey- ing, besides being the pastor of tbe church there* But of work, my honored father says, mr* Burr never tires, and he passes from one thing to another, with the greatest facility and grace* Chis whole arrangement, which has been discussed in a correspondence be* tween ny father and Governor Belcher is very satisfactory* It is not antici* pated that lllr* Burr will resign his pas* torate, at least, M present ; though how he finds time to do so much none of us can guess* «««•«« ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 49 StockbrldfiCt may 26, 1749* X is tbe practice of ftlr* 6d- ivards to finish bis own meal, wbicb is alivavs very sinaplCt and tben return to tbe table to say aracct at tbe close, wben we are all done* For we beain and end our meals in 6od* €bis momina iis be did not come at once, my dear motber wbo always berself says arace, wben fatber is absent from bome, said that Jonathan €dwards, 3r«, wbo is iust pa9i tight years old, might officiate* €bis pleased us all. for be fell into fa« ther's exact words and intonations, as a child would do, without seeming to intend it* Oie all maintained tbe great' t^t decorum, as was befitting, for we know that **out of tbe mouth of babes and sucklings God has ordained praise''— a favorite verse of father's, wbo believes in tbe early conversion of children, this evening, too, we chil" dren are to have a birthday festival in Jonathan's honor, though this we keep a profound secret* Jis to Jonathan, Jr., we all expect he will some day make a great divine ; though outwardly he does not resemble our father; being dark, and plain, and very small* « « ■"'f 50 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL StockbriddCt 3ati* 21, 1752* |liT$ town is dcligbffully lo- cated for winter sports* Cbe river has a very quiet floWt so that we have skating partiest and the bills all around furnish suitable declivities for coasting* 1 bave lust come in from mest Stockbridge road, with my cheeks all aglow and pulse beating wildly* my sister and T bad two Indian boys to pull our sleds for us, and to guide tbem over tbe crust, wbicb flashes like a mirror, as with lightning rapidity we speed from one descent to another, until we finally reach the level of our quiet street* Jit the corners, the wood men came in with their heavily loaded wood- sleds, and the sleigh bells rang right merrily, as though it were a winter's holiday* « « c « « « t t i t 4 t ^^«|N|i»^«|j«|»^i»^^^^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 51 StockbridflCt 3an. 11 f 17S2* l^€ sacred writer said, *^0 thai 1 bad ivitifls like a devct ihM 1 midbt fly away, and be M rest/' Even Stockbridde bas my honor- ed father's enemies* not Tndianst that lurk in tbe wilderness and waylay tbe unsuspectind victim. Our Indians* especially tbe 6ousatonacSt are peace- able and docile* Cbere is not a member of tbis familyt that is not engaaed in diving tbem instruction in tbe Bible* JInd our honored father has determined to send Jonathan tbe second when he is nine years old to live among lllr* Brain- erd's Indianst that he may learn their language in bis childhood, and thus escape the hard labor of acquiring a language in his adult life* not Tndians, but tbe scattered remnants of that bitter company, who moved my father from northampton* « « « « « my father has lust written to his own father : *'niy wife and children arc well pleased with our present situation* Chey like the place far better than tbey 62 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL expected* IQere, at presetitt ive live in peace % u»bicb h^s^ of a long timet been unusual to us. Cbe Indians seem muci) pleased voMh our familVt especially my wife/' JInd yet, ih^tz is trouble enough bere« Tt was only the other day, that a visitor to the male mobatvk school struck a child of the Chief Sachem of the Onoduagas on the head with his cane, without any provocation* Che Iroguois are all indignantt and threaten to leave the town* Uery improper use has been made of the moneys which have been sent here by Itlr, l^ollis, the English patron of the Indian schools* Che individual who has received these moneys, has had no school established, and kept no regular account of his es> penditures* Che Indian children have been permitted to grow up in filth and ignorance* But, as this man has mar* ried into the family of the resident tnts* tee all of this is covered up* But, of course, Itlr* Edwards feels bound in duty, to communicate the facts to the Boston Commissioners* « « « f»*^/?i«MO'^>';i<> (!^^C2)< ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 63 St^ckbridflt, Jth. 2, 1713. Its Sally 1»rtii« wmur in that city. With US simplo country pooflo^ tho chief place of social recreation and amusement Is the sfnaina-school. Be- sides the pleasure of getting toaether one evening each a ipeeli» when me are arranged for paH singing, the singers Mf€ permitted to sit in the gallery on Sundays, if they promise to keep to their own seats, and not infringe on the women's pews* the women, of course, do not need to make any such promise ahout the men. Sometimes, indeed, we hai^e sleighing parties, and those that love dancing finish up such parties with a social dance, though my honor* ed father believes that such customs mf% full of danger to young people* In that sermon at llorthampton, which created the great disturbance, resulting in his being dismissed, 1 remember he said this t **1 do not desire that young people should be abridged of any prop- er liberties,'' showing that he was 54 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL nti arMlfafV Atid unreasonable in bit viewtt NrtlMt certain social practices ¥HW% cftetiM in that deserved Ms re« bulie* m m • • m % % O^'VV mmmm:mMM-^'mm ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 66 tt#clibrftfac, Fcb.t I7il. 191$ tamllv !• vcnr Niftv mall* inalact aM ««i#r«Mtfv» •# as to rcyUKloU IM li#Mael)oM treasury* In Il#rtliam9t0fi» my l)Oiiortd ffallKr had pur* chased a valiiahle bSMSSttad» witfi land fsr ftiel and tasturliia* and bad trectcd a cowinodious dwtllHic hsuse* Chtst bad» by sxercisitig tbc strictest ecsnsMyt all been paid fsr» before bis remooal* Jlmong the bitterest of our exMHeuces* tberefore* wm9 to be sent roofless and homeless to a wilderness. But» neither my honored motliert nor any of the children bated a lot of hope* OPe began at once* the making and dec* oration of fans and other ornamental worby which we were assisted to dis« pose of in Boston, by our friends the Princes there* f$ow narrow our clrcuuM stances were* may be seen from the ne« cessity put upon our father* to use the margins of otherwise useless pamphlets and the backs of letters* on which to write his sermons and treatises* But* he knows no other law of life* and so he ^^'^•^ !»sbell» to call the t^eoplc to worshil^* nt firstt it seemed wantino In solemnity* but* now we are used to it* the shell beains to have a sacred sound* and the summons is speedily heeded. 1 am fond of watch- ing the people as they conareaate t Che Indians slidinfl up the rtver-banh in their noiseless canoes* the farmers and wives on horseback, with children in arms* or tucked in* here and there* as there is space for them* the pedestrians: rich and poor meetina toaether before the Cord* who is maker of u% all* m ^-^ 68 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ♦ St^ckbridae* IttaVt 17S2. If^TS ha% iu$t happened to met Hei^* Itlr* Burr of neivarft» President off the new Jersey Colleaet who has visited our house, both in northantpton and Stoclcbridde for many years;- as a little oirl, T have romped with him, and bM on his lap,— rose this J1* 111* to take an early breakfast and start for home again, betimes, on horseback to the Hudson* Hnd as it was my week to care for the table, 1 had spread the break* fast for him, no other member of the family having yet arisen* Che cloth was as white as snow, for 1 had taken out a fresh one with its clean smell, for the occasion, and there was not a crease in it t the room was full of the aroma of the freshly made ita. 1 had selected some of the last caddy, that came from the Rev* Chomas Prince's of Boston, a family very dear tons. Che newly churned butter was as yellow as aold* 1 had rolled it and stamped it with my own hands* Bnd to top the whole, one of our father's deacons, an Indian, who knew of lllr* Burr's early start, had brouaht in some fish freshly taken from the fiousatonic. Itlr. Burr 4^ 4 4 4 4 4 4 ^^^l^^^^^n^i^ partook with the ortatcst relisht keep- itid up a current of oracious speccbt ev- ery motnctit; an4 finally fixina bis flashing eyes on me* as 1 sat rapt and listening at the other end of the board, he abruptly said: *'6sther €dwards, last nightt T made bold to ask your hon- ored father* ifl can gain your consent, that 1 might take you as ftlrs* Burr, to my newark bachelor's quarters and help convert them Into a Christian home, aihatsayyou?'' Of course, al- though from my early girlhood, inr« Burr had treated me with favor, 1 was wholly unprepared for this sudden speech, and blushed to my ears and looked down ; and stammered out, as we are taught to say here t *'lf it please the Cord!'' Chough when we came to separate, 1 could not help playfully say- ing, ^'Olas it the loaves and fishes, lllr* Burr ?" lie laughed, and kissed me for the first time* • « « « « 1 am only seventeen, and T had nev- er received such attention from any per- son. Hnd it has set my being alt aglow with new life. JVnd so we parted, he for his ride through the wilderness to the K^ 60 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL l|Mds#ti» ati4 T to resume my domestic duties* 1 soon beard my l^eart keeping time to bis l)orse's boots 9S tbey made tbe ttimpilte ecbo* and T paused to watcb tbe splendid animal ascend tbe billside to tbe Olest* €be sun was lust rising* and smiting tbe river mists witb its rod of sold* Bnd 1 went about all day* waking melody in my beart to tbe Cord* my dear motber appeared to sur* mise IlK new secret of my life* for, doubtlesst Itlr* Edwards bad told ber» M9 tbey bave no secrets from eacb otber, but said notbing* Itleanwbile* 1 tried to Imagine lllr* Burr's progress from point to point* until be reacbcd tbe sloop on tbe river* and tben T seemed to lose bim among tbe bigblands, as tbe sloop bore bim seaward to flewark* my .beart witb bim* t could not belp asking myself^ **f)as bo been waiting for me* all tbese years? Bt any rate, 1 tbougbt to my* self* 1 am bis Kacbel ; bis lamb* tas tbe word means* nor do 1 need to steal my fatber's gods* m% did sbe* For already bis 6od Is my 6od! and bis people, my people* • m m m % m ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 61 St^ckbridoc, Iflarcbt 17S2« ^Tli€ pressure of duties upon lllr. I EdwardSt my honored father, has ^^ been so areata that it seems al- most impossible for him to endure It. Olhat with preachina to the white people, and the Indians, and catechis* ina the children : what with putting up a new dwellina>house and aettlna to« aether money to pay for it : what with the intriaues of those who are secretly obstructina his work and trying to sup* plant him i and what with his constant thinkinfl and writina, my honored moth« er is fearful that his health will be utter- ly broken down* Indeed, he already has symptoms of aaue and fever, which Is very prevalent in these new settle- ments, «««•««« 62 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL Sl^ckbridgc, June S, 17S2. ims is my last day In $t#clc- bridae. In tbls dear, dear home, with my honored mother and sisters* Che or* chards are filled with apple* bloom as for a bridal. Dear, beautiful Stoclcbridae; the svQttitst place on earthf with her mountains tree-topped to the blue skies, her miniature mead- ows alona the Dousatonic, where the Indians have their picturesque encamp- ments, the river, willow-embosomed, wbere the strong arms of my tawny friends have so often noiselessly guided the canoe, and we have glided as in a dream, Ves, also dear sanctuary of 6od, where tbe red man and the white man have dwelt together in peace, as in their own Father's l^ouse, and where my good father's instruction has so of- ten fallen upon us all alike, as manna from f^eaven, ''Blessed are they that dwell in thy house; they shall still be praising thee/' « « • • « %^4^M|iM|»^M|^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 63 $t9Clibrida<* 1$JfIU€ sometimes essayed m descrfptfott to myself of Itlr* €dtvards« Cet me do It aoalti* before 1 leave my father's bouse for tbe bouse of my busband. Dis face Is almost ivomanly in refinement and feature* and arace* Cbere is a kind of sweet sedateness* an elevated, almost celestial serenityt to some, perbaps severity, of eiq»ression« Hnd wben be Is speakina in tbe pulpit, it often seems tbat bis voice bas a su» pematural, an andclic tenderness and autbority* Cbere is in bis utterance no weakness or softness, tbouab it is not a loud voice nor very masculine* Cbere is sucb a boly loyalty to tbe trutb in tbe speaker, as tboudb be were one of 0od's swift messendcrs, unwinged indeed, save in tbe spirit, wbicb often tries lofty fliflbts; but comina straiabt from tbe in« effable dlory, commissioned of infinite love to proclaim tbe trutb and defend it. Tn person, be sometimes reminds me of Itllcbael JInaelo's arcb«anael witb drawn sword; of pictures of Jobn tbe 64 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL EvatiflclUtf ivbf cb our Scotland friends, tbe €rslcincSt bave sent us, and wbicb band in our llvind room* • « « ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 65 |!i€ flood man who ba$ chos- en mc for his bride, has sent a younfl messenger from newarkt wiih (wo horses, to condisct my honored mother and myself to Hew Jersey* f)e says, Chere is plenty of Scripture for it* Did not Tsaac thus send for Hebekah ? 1 am to ride nimrod, Itlr. Burr's great admir- ation and pride« 7 am alad to flo. 7 suppose 1 feel some as did Christiana, in **Pilflrim's Progress,'* when she had summons to follow her husband* T$ it wronfl to think of my new home as the type of l)eaven ? T hope it is not wrong to feel so* T had to kiss the bark of the elm-tree, that stands in front of my win- dow, and where 1 have so often watched the returning robins, as they built their nests and reared their young, and then taught them to fly away; and now 1 am to stretch my wings and go, after their example* But, mine are the wings of the dove! «««««« Olhen we mounted the hill* on our way toward mest Stockbridge, T was fain to turn again and look back on the lovely little town in the valley, and the surrounding mountains in their grand- ^f 66 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ^^ ^ if ^i^ cur« On either side stood the bi11$t late- ^^ iL, ly clothed with new verdure; between ^|3^ them, the beautiful intervales, beneath ^ f which crept the river, the sntooth«dlid* 4I9 2 ind ff)OU$:atonic, and where were feeding ^ ^¥ the cattle. 1 shut my eyes if 1 midht f iic 4if^ <^. the picture and make it mine forever* .^ ^^ and then rode on with my companions. ^Ir tJVnd soon nimrod, with his eager spirit, a^^ a^f9t me enouah to attend to. fie seem* ^^ ^P,^ ed to know he was takina me to his ^3j^ ^ master. «««««« Z ^^ Oie took the turnpike tothef^ud- ^^ ^^ son* Che road havinn been lately aA^ ^^ mended, our progress was slow. Tn> ^^ ^k deed, there were some passages where ^3f^ X the men were still at work picking out S ^f the stones and the stumps. But, even ^^ i this gave us all the more leisure to look 3 ^r at the beautiful woods, and to hear the 41^ ^. brooks full of glancing fish» bubbling ,3^ ^^ by the roadside. Che birds were very ^"^ ^^ lively with their songs, and the bushy* 41^ ^^ tailed squirrels were full of their ^^ ^L pranks. Che early dews, too, were ^3f^ Z dropping on the leaves. And soon my Z 4^f steed having come to know his rider, 4^ ^ moved on obediently, and as though .S ^r more than satisfied with his burden. y^ jt.^ Our riding companion, who has lust ^3^ "^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^"^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 67 draduatcd at the! College* was not very talkative, tboufib set Und tbcn ncivark bay and river, and my new borne in fbe Serseys*— ISnd, tben, taking fbe trip ivitbout mr* Burr, as it were, added to tbe romanee. It seemed more like realizing tbe Scrip- ture words respecting marriage : about leaving fatber and motber« Cbougb motber, bless ber sweet beart, is witb me stiiK 1 could not dream ber away i blessed soul! « « « « m 70 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL neivark. It. 3*, Sunt 29» I7i2« DT$ day 1 wa« married to the man* wbobas chosen me for hisbeln* mate in the Cordi an4» wbo» 1 have reason to believe has been waitina for me a% long ^* Sacob tarried forKacbeU Re is my senior in years* biitt is youna and elastic In spiritt and full of Christian enterprise* Chough short in staturct compared with my hon« ored father^ who Is very tall; and though of a delicate frame* lilce my f ath* er, he is all energy and ceal i moving here and there and everyivberct almost like a flash of light* Hnd yet be is mod* est and unassuming i though every* where at his €^%€ ; courteous too* and obliging to all* f5e has been pastor here for fifteen years* and he is almost bis people's idol* Jind now 1 have come to address myself to the duties of a pas* tor's wife* in which* although 1 have my mother as an example* T am so unlike her that the task does not seem an easy one* She began her married life mi sev* enteen* 1 begin mine at 1S«I9* Iflr.Burr has acguired the reputation here* of be* Ing a lover of hospitality* His door is always open* and his board always full* Sf^s|iN|M|i»i|a^^^^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 71 f$e if a bountiful aiver, «nd tbouab bim* •elf «bf tettiious at tbe table, be wants to see it oenerouslv furnitbed, and as be bas tbe means to do it, 1 sball try to gratify bim ; tbougb it will be very mucb better provided tban our sum table, at my fatber's bouse, wbere everytbina was as simple and plain as possible* Cbougb in nortbampton and Stock- bridge, nir* and itlrs* €dwards were eareful to fulfill tbe iniunctions ''Use bospitality witbout grudging/' €be stranger was always welcome* « « V husbandt tftr. Burr, bas persuaded me to tafie up Catin with bim* 1 bad learned it a little in our home at nortbampton, wbere was mucb teaching of tbe cla$« sics* JInd last evening be read witb me a letter of tbeKoman orator CicerOt ad« dressed in bis exile* **Zo l>is Dear Cerentia* fyls Cittle €ulliat and liis Oar* lina €icero/' ttlr* Burr believes it to be genuine* Itlr* Burr was speaking of Cicero's surprise tbat great calamity should have overtaken one* whose wife bad so faithfully worshipped thegodSt and who had himself been so service* able to man, and said it reminded him of what tbe Cempter says of tbe patriarcht *^Doth Job serve Ood for naught?'' Und then be remarked the effeminate sensibility of tbe writer, who says he would write oftener* did not writing make bis grief at their separation more Insupportable; drawing a parallel to their advantage with the words of Job : ''Chough be slay me, yet will 1 trust in bim!" Chis is a habit with inr«Burr« It Is as though be carried the two ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 73 IHwarUf 1752* C l)a$ been a great refre$l)» metit to tnv soul, to-dav« to bear aaain tttr, €dw?ards, «iv honored father, from the pulplU 1 still think, there is none like hfm* lie u;a@ corresponding member of the Presbyterian Sv^fi»oJ, which sat here, and he preached from Ilames T1=I9« It was especlallv gratefy! to his daughter to witness, in this strange land, how eagerly his words were received, especially by all of the ministers* Chere are those in two con» tinents who honor and revere his name, though northampton, in her worldly pride, cast him out and spat upon him« T never recall that, wfthowt thinl^lKg of how JIbsalom and those that felt with him, treated B^md the King in his exile from his throne* It was JSbsalom in both cases, a young upstart in his pride, who was most officious* T shall yet live to see how humbly some of those people will return with confession and tears* Chough this is not becoming in a minister's daughter and a minis= ter's wife* «««««« 4f 74 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL flewarkf 17S2. iK* Burr read to tnc ^aaiti from tbc letters of €fcero to bis wife and cbildreti. In tbi$ letter, as lllr* Burr translated it* occurs tbis passage : ''It is our very virtue, wbicb bas brouflbt us disgrace. Ule bave committed no otbcr fault tban tbat of surviving our oivn good fortune/' Cbe great Koman, lllr. Burr said, wonders tbat virtue sbould be so maligned and punisbed* €be greater Jlpostle could write to tbe elders of tbe cburcb Sii €t>besus : ^'Hone of tbese tbings move me, neitber count T my life dear unto me, so tbat T may finisb my course ivitb ioy/' Bnd a greater tban tbeHpostle bas put it among the beatitudes of liis kingdom : ^^Blessed are ye wben men sball revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil against you false* ly for my sake/' Olbat a contrast be- tween tbe triumpbant Cbristian martyr, and tbe puzzled and discouraged feel- ing of tbe pagan pbilosopben Cerentia, as be bad said before, bad done wbat sbe could to appease tbe gods by ber piety, and be to propitiate tbe people by bis service* But, tbis combination of 4* 4f 4» 4v t 4^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 75 reliaioti and morality did ndt.i^rotect them* Chcy did not scent to knowt that Bed's real cbiSdrctt. are made {perfect ti^rouab suff erind* Cbis is the gbristiati mysfervt to wbicb the master itttro* duces us« «««««« ^ K£i:t Kli-^ fvls^t < ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL newarkt JlpriU 1753. MR, Burr ba$ \usi rode up to tbc door ott bis tlimrod, the sad^* die borset whicb be bad me ^ name llimrod because be bad been a great bunter— and in wbicb we botb of us take mucb pride* r>e beckoned to me as 1 sat at tbe window witb my scwin^t and 1 6lid» ed down to pat llimrod's glossy neck, and to kiss tbe bandsome rider* F,c bas lust set out alone for Elizabetbf wbere once dwelt tbe l^ev* tllr. Dfckensout wbo was interested witb my busband in tbe founding of tbe new colUcge, and wbere is tbe residence of Governor Bel^ cber* Sometimes our colored man, liarry, wbo is very conceited about bis skill as a borseman, drives nir* Burr on sucb trips ; but, at tbis season of tbe year, tbe roads are so unsettled, I11r« Burr prefers tbe saddle. 1 bave come back to my sewing, but 7 keep tbe pic> ture of my knigbt in my mind's eye : tbe slender, but erect figure, tbe steed cbamping bis bit, witb mottled back and sides, and bis neck clotbed witb tbunder ; tbe graceful borseman— for T ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 77 must come back to him-sittitig iti the saddle as fboudb bom tbcrc ; as tbouab borsc and man were but one, according to tbe classic conception of tbe centaun ^T 78 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ll^> ^^ ncwarkt D«c. 1754. ^'^ ^^ „ '♦i* ^^ gjl^^j^nuc bad a sivect and prccU ,^ ^ ^K\5bK- ^*** letter from mv own dear ^'3*^ ^¥ ^iMnR^ honored mother, full of sym* a^ m ?!Ka^G^ Pa*bv and appreciation* She ^^ ^ftj^ r -rf*^^^^ writes of the sacred privll* ^|2^ Z ^0^ of motherhood, fndeedt 1 have z ^gif heard her $av> that she should be ivll* 4l§^ ^ Una to be the mother of chlldreut even if 3 ^T thev were to have no protracted life In l'^ ^r thev were to have no protracted life In I'y ^^ this world; she has such an exalted .^ ^^ conception of their destiny hereafter* "^'^ ^,^ ''Of such is the Kingdom of God*'* 4,^ €^ She cautions me tenderly as to theef* ^^ ^if feet of the feelings and affections of the ^3j^ X mother upon the child unborn : and as« : ^if sures uBCt as myself the daughter of ^1^ ^ many prayers, that 1 may safely entrust ^ ^r all my anxieties to a covenant 0od* t^ ^x Chls was In answer to a letter. In which -.^ ^&^ 1 had Intimated a happy secret, which ^^ ^k Is flladdenind our Kewark home* 1 do a^S^ J not forflet that she herself seemed ^ ^if especially to walk with €(od, when the 41^ Z advent of another member of her own Z ^f family-circle was drawing niah* She 4l^ ^. always seemed to feel that all her cbll- 3 ^r dren were gotten from tfy^ Eord, as the ^'^ ^k first human mother e^tpresse s It* « tpL ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 79 newarb, 3afi« 1754* s^s3^f^€ first year of my married IsfCt 1 often found myself comparing inr« Burr, my good busbandt u^itb ItSr* €d« wardSt my bonored fatber. I)avind al«vays beard my fatber preacb from my cbiidbood, and knowing tbat be Is reckoned a prince among tbe Cord's servants, tbis is not strange* T fbink my fatber more impressive and solemn ; but, lllr* Burr Is more IngratI* atlng, and captivating; bas more of ivbat people call eloquence* my bonor* ed fatber bas sucb rigid and intense earnestness, tbat be Is led almost to scorn all adornment of discourse, mbile of late years, writing on bis ab* stract treatises, and preacbing largely to tbe Indians of Stockbridge, wbo are but little demonstrative, be bas grown more and more careless of outward grace* Besides be is by nature more reserved* mn Burr's nature seems to bubble up and overflow Into ejcpression, taking on beaiutiful tinted sprays like tbe water of a fountain* l$e often seems to^« less a man commissi sion it has been ! Such a noise of driv» ing oxen, 1 hope we may never have for a twelve month sii least* « c c lle^t week, the Presbytery is to sit here, and it is expected they will dis> miss It2r« Burr from the church and congreflation, to give himself wholly to the care of the College* It is a severe strain upon us all* For here, as I have said before, he is almost idolized* But, he thinks of the demands upon young men, as godly ministers, and we are both willing to make the sacrifice* T can see plainly that it all goes back to successfully founding an institution where young men can be fitted for the Christian ministry; the long dream and prayer of lltr* €dwards as well as of himself* «««««« t 4» 4f 4* «!»• t 4* 4f 82 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL *§» ncwark, Dec, 1, 1754, XCK€ltl€CV burrtcd prcpar* f ttfl for the Presbytery. Cues« day provided a dinner and nobody came until afternoon* Enough to try a body*$ pati- ence. Tn tbe evenfnfl they came thick and fast. Presbytery sat on our affairs, and adjourned till January. Our people are in a areat pickle. $omeofthem show a very bad spirit. « « « Chursday: Dined ten ministers. Chis day. Presbytery examined a young candidate for the ministry for one of the Dutch Islands in the Ulest Indies. « flf4|^ "41^ V 4* la^VMjj^alMlM^Hlt^MlialMlMSMlMli^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 83 iteivarkt 3sti. I, I755, tfay set apart for fasting and prayer, en account ef the late encrcachntents cf the FrenefT» and their ante, superstitiotit and tyranny* JHnd bad ive but the spirit of oiir brave an> cestorst who cheerfully ventured their lives, and resigned all the comforts thereof in an bowling wiSdernesSt were we animated by the same heroic spirit in defence of them, with the same ar> dent desire of leaving them inviolate to posterity, we should soon make our en- emies flee before us, and again sit quietly under our own vines and fig- trees, gnd eat of the good of the land !'' ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 85 OnDliV» January 12, 17S6«- mr* Burr ootic !• new Vork, and T as busy as a bee* « Cuesday €ve«— Cbis eve miss Sukey, our wencb, be^an with me about bcr souFs concern* Jfind T find sbe bas bad a areat many serious tboudbts since sbe bas been bere* Sbe is full of ber inquiries as to wbat sbe must do to be good* Sbe tells me sbe tries to pray from tbe beart> but finds sbe can't, and sbe seems to bave some sense of sin* liow my beart is reioiced! O tbat God would give us tbis one soul ! It seems as if T could not be denied my request, tbat 6od would perfect tbe good work tbat seems to bave begun in ber wbilst in tbis bouse* O bow great a blessing upon us! 1 bope God bas beard some of my poor prayers for ber* JInd 1 bope for a beart to pray more earnestly for ber tban ever* Uibat a comfort to see tbose under our care in- clining to tbe ways of religion and true virtue* ««««««« marcb 26, 1756*—! was unexpected- ly delivered of a son tbe 6tb of Tebru- ary* l^ad a fine time, altbougb it pleas- ed God in infinite wisdom to order tbat 86 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 4l^ inr« Burr iva$ not at bomc« It seemed very gloomy when T found my time bad come, to think that 1 was, as it were, ^ destitute of earthly friends* no mother, ^l^^ no husband, and none of my particular - friends that belong to the town; they happening to be out of town* But O my dear 6od was all these relations and more than all to me in the hour of my distress* Chose words in Psalms were my support and comfort through the whole: 'Xhey that trust in the Cord ^ shall be as lltt* Zion that cannot be 4l^ moved, but abideth forever;'' and these 2 also, ^'Jls the mountains are round 4l^ about Jerusalem, so Is the Cord round about them that trust in I5im,'' or words to that purpose* « c c « « 1 had a very ^uick and good time, a very good lying in till about three weeks, then I had the canker very bad, ^ and before 1 had recovered of that my ^Sj^ little Jiaron (for so we call him) was ta* i ken sick, so that for some time we did 4l9 not expect his life* lie has never been .jL so well since, though he is comfortable ^1r at present* 1 have myself got a very ±^^ bad cold and very sore eyes, which ^ makes it very difficult for me to write at ^|4^ all ; sometimes T am almost blind* « 2 ^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 87 Hprfl I7» I756«-T have writUn to miss Pridce of Boston to please pro> cure for ttie the folloivitid things : 6 fan mounts* two good ones for ivory sticks, two black and white and two white ones ; In4 !&. gum arahic, one large pen- cil and one short one, one dozen of short cake pans, my milk«pot altered to some shape or other, a pair of coral beads, some cod<:fish, patterns of caps, (not ye airy caps for beaux), send me word how to cut ruffles and handker- chiefs, send word how they make gowns. 1 send by mr« Burn « « Jlpril 19, I756.— nir. Burr has set out for Boston* T need not wrfteht^w lone- some the house and ei^ei'ythihg about it appears, nor could T if T would* Eittle Sally observing my gloom upon Ittr* Burr's leaving me, sets herself prettily as 1 think to comfort me. $he imagined T was sick. She says, ''mamma, poor mamma is sick. Don't be sick, mam- ma. Papa ain't gone." iipon this 1 smiled; the little creature's eyes sparkl- ed for loy and she says in transport, mamma ain't sick. Dear mamma,' etc. « « « « c « c »f ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL Tebruarv 20, 1757^-lllr Burr was sent for the €olUflc about daritt and ivl)cn he tame there he found about twenty Wouna men in one room, crvina and be^gina to know what they should do to be saved* ?our of them under the deepest sense of their wicked hearts and need of €hH$t; Tancuil amongst the rest« liow it will reioice his good mother's heart, lllr. Burr prayed and talked in the best manner he could, and left them to come home greatly affected* iUe sat and talked till late and knew not how to lay by the glorious subiect* « Feb. 21, 1757.-6ood news to write you this morning. H minister's son near Philadelphia hopefully received comfort last night in the night. Chere was little sleep amongst them ; some up all night. Illr. Spencer sat up till one o'clock, then left those poor young crea* tures seeking 6od. Che conversion of this young Crcat, for that Is his name, is a very dear and remarkable one. Che particulars 1 have not heard, but Illr. Burr says he thinks evidently « work of grace. f)ehas been under some im> pressions for more than a year, but his concern has increased lately. « « ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 89 10 O'clock: Jfl pious young man came from tbc College for nir. Burr« V)e tells me tbat a great part of tbe $cl?o1« ars are gathered into one rocm* crvit^^g in great distresSt and that another bad received comfort* Oh> my heart e^sults at the thought that 6od is about to re- vive religion in general* may u?e not hope for it ? my soul doth magnify the Cord for what fyc hath done* « « Cve: Che Cord's work goes on g1o» riously in the College* mr* Burr sent for mr* Cennent of Freehold to come and assist in drawing the net ashore* for it is ready to break with the abund> ance of the fish that are caught in it* liust now he came to the College and is greatly reloiced* « « « « c 9 O'clock t no work carried on here, but only to get something io eatt and a little of that will suffice too* For my part 1 haven't any creature to say one word to, and when 1 am ready to burst, 1 have recourse to my pen* « c mr* Cennent is astonished and amazed, between ioy, sorrow, hope and fear, and says he doesn't know what passion is uppermost, but he must call it an angelic Ioy that he feels, which is ^If 90 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL ^^ 4^ 4|» ^^ the case with us all. Itlv brother is uti- ^^ ^If dcr a great deal of concerts among the ^3j^ i rest* ««««««« Z ^f Ob wbat shall T render to the Cord 4i9 ^ for f^is goodness in pouring out Dis X ^f Spirit in such a wonderful degree ! « tI^ ^''^ Cuesdavt Feb* 52, I757*-T ant ready ^'S^ ^1^ to set up my Cabernacle and say, ^J^ ^'^ •♦Cord, It is good to be here/' Indeed, ^^ ^^ the thoughts of living have never been ^^ Z so comfortable to me as now* Che 2 ^f Cord is indeed here* « « « « 4^9 ^f lUednesdayt Hug* 31, 4 o'clock P* in* ^^ ^ik — 3ust now 1 received a letter with a iJL ^'^ black seal, but it contained blacker ^^ ^^ news* Gov* Belcher is dead ; died this a^ ^ Jl*in* Che righteous are taken away ^ ^f from the evil to come* Chis is sueh a 4^ X loss, that we cannot expect to have Z ^f made up in a Governor* 1 feel guite 4^ ^ sunk with this and other bad news* ff^is ^j|^ ^r Cordship is returning to new Vork, and ^^ j^,> then fialifax will be taken no doubt* ApL ^^ eve : nir* Burr not returned* Deavy ^^ ^^ news nir* Belcher's death will be to aA^ S bim* «««««•« Z S Chursday, Eve, Sept. I, 1757*— Illr. i ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 91 Burr returned in health* O bow flood is 8od in preserving bim in bis doinas out and bis comings in ! Cbese mercies ouabt not to be forgotten by me* « lllr. Burr, is sent for to preacb tbe Governor's funeral sermon* P* m.t JI deal of company* « c « « Triday JI* in*— Tf we go to Boston we sball be tbere by tbe second week in October* « « c « c « now about Sally and JIaron* Sally bas got pretty bearty again, and is not mucb of a baby ; affects to be tbougbt a woman* notbing sbe scorns more tban to be told sbe is a cbild or baby* Ole are about sending ber to scbool, but mr* Burr eacpects sbe will prove a numb bead* But for my part, 1 tbink ber about middling in all accounts* Sbe grows tbinner and more sbapeable* T bave taken ber to meeting and sbe be- baves very well, and can give a good account of wbat papa does tbere. Sbe can say some of Dr* Olatts' verses by beart and tbe Cord's Prayer and some otber prayers* But sbe is not over apt about tbe matter* « « « « m m 92 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL M Haron Is a little, dirtVt noisy boy* very different from Sally almost in ev^ erytbing* f)e begins to talk a littie, is very sly, miscbievous, and bas more spridbtliness tban Sally. 1 must say, be is bandsomer, but not so good tern* pered« f)e is very resolute, and requires a flord governor to bring bim to terms* f%¥^ ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL 93 Priticctotit SzpU 2, 17S7. |V dear btssband, mn Burr, Is preparing a funeral dis- course in memory of Gover* nor Belcher of 6!izabetb> town, ivbo died JIudustSK 1 have besouabtbim to spare bimself tbe undertaking* CO'day be bas been dettina tbe sermon ready, and to^mor- row be will ride forty miles to deliver it, on tbe 4tb instant, wben be sbould be lying upon a sick bed, and nursed witb tbe greatest care at borne* T fear tbe worst* ««««««« September Stb^-lllr* Burr bas re- turned, but, alas, bis fever wbicb was at first of an intermitent kind bas set- tled into one affeciing tbe brain, and be is mucb of tbe time in delirium* l bave often been alarmed to tbink God migbt take bim from me* T bope 6od will belp me witb Ris band, sbould tbis awful dispensation come to me* l)e bas an infinite rigbt to l)is own* « « « ^¥i^ 4f 4* 4* 4* 4f 4* 4f 4v 4* 4* 4>' 4» 94 ESTHER BURR'S JOURNAL Princctotit Oct* 7, 1757* Ml' , $ba11 T attempt to dc<: i It? God oiilv can . UPbat can be written set fortb tbe affliction of a poor disconsolate widow and two f atberless ones ? 1 bave lost all tbat could be desired in a crea« ture* 1 bave lost all tbat 1 ever set my beart on. In tbis world* In bis eulodi' um, Gov. Eivinaston said : **€ease not to weep an anael, wbom you loved a man/' Obt 1 am afraid 1 sball conduct myself so as to bring disbonor to my 6od, and tbe religion 1 profess, no, let me ratber die, tbIs moment. 1 am over- come. Co God only will 1 carry my com- plaint. 1 will speak it to bis glory, tbat 1 tbink lie bas in an uncommon degree discovered liimself to be an all-suffici- ent God, a full fountain of good. « 4v