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 ^ > *:) 
 
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 THE AMATEUR STAGE 
 
 No. 4(). 
 
 THE LAST DROP. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 Happy Hourg Company, Publishers, 
 
 No. 1 CHAMBERS STREET. 
 
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 HAPPY HOURS COMPA^SY, 
 
 No. I Chambers St., New York. 
 
THE A-M^TEUR STA.GE, 
 
 THE LAST DROP. 
 
 A TEMPEHANCE DRAMA, 
 
 IN ONE ACT, 
 
 BY 
 
 JouN H, Delafield. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 HAPPY HOURS COMPANY, 
 
 No. 1 CHAMBERS STREET. 
 
^ 
 
 c^^^ 
 
 ^ ^ 
 
 A.^^ 
 
 THE LAST DEOP 
 
 DEAMATIS PEESON.E. 
 
 Georgk Comstock, a Mechanic and Teetotaler. 
 
 John Walsh, A Mecluinic and Inebriate. 
 
 Catch'em, a Bartender. 
 
 DoGNOSE, An old Drunkard, in the lad slaae. 
 
 Abraham See, J Help, also an Amateur lliespian, 
 
 IMe, Kainfai.i-, a Sheriff's Officer. 
 
 PoLiCKMAN, A Cluhbist. 
 
 Mks. Watery Lott, A Mother-in-Laic. 
 
 Mrs. Jane Comstock, A Model Wife. 
 
 Mrs. Jane Walsh, A Drunkard's Wife. 
 
 COSTUMES.— MODEKN. 
 
 PROPEETIES. 
 
 Scene I. — Eoiiiid table with table cloth ou it, c. ; supper laid for 
 three, corxiplete. Water bottle and tumblers on table. Chairs. Small 
 table R. Cradle Avith Baby and clothes in it, r.c. Chair between 
 table and cradle. Book, pen, ink and roll of paper on table r. Bas- 
 ket of provisions. Eollingpin. Large bell. Bundle of wood. Plate 
 to break. 
 
 Scene II. — Painted sign "The Golden Eagle." Policeman's club. 
 Bartender's apron. Money. Labels of "Wines," "Liquors," "Ci- 
 gars," "Lager Bier," "Philadelphia Ale," painted ou the store front. 
 A glass of whisky. 
 
 Scene III. — Old table. Four old chairs. A broken arm chair l.c. 
 Fire burning tj.e.r. Kettle of hot water. Teapot with tea made in 
 it. Four cups and saucers. Four spoons. Four knives and forks. 
 Four plates. Two dishes. Table cloth. Dram bottle. Water 
 bottle and tumbler. Basket of provisions, containing meat, ham and 
 butter, all iu separate papers. 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1876, by Happy Houks Company, 
 in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 
 
 *=^* There is no charge for the performance of this play. 
 
THE LAST DROP 
 
 Scene I. -Mr. Comstock's House (the Home of Temperance). Win- 
 daw in flat (to open) b.c. Door in flat l.c. Door y.^.i^. bmal 
 table IX. Cradle ivith Baby and clothes In it R.c Chaw between tM 
 and cradle. Book, pen, ink, and roll of paper on table, bupper table 
 set for three c. 
 
 Abb^ham See discovered seated watching the baby and rocking the cra- 
 dle, he is also endeavoring to read and write at a table at the same time. 
 
 Abe. (Sings.) "Rock-a-by baby, mother is near !'' r>^pea/.^^^^^ 
 Sweet little scorpion, don't you look queer. (Sings.) J^^\'^l^-^-^y 
 baby, mother is here." (Baby cries, he looks round. ) No, she isn , 
 i/o .such luck. (Bocks again violently.) Go to sleep you ittle m- 
 sect and let me indulge in my literary labor of love-that ot readmg 
 and writing at the san.e time. Killing two stones with one bn-d ; no, 
 hittin- two birds on the head with one stone, that's it. (Bcd^y leaves 
 off crving. ) That's better, the insect sleeps once more and ' ' Richard s 
 mnisel a-ain. " Let me see, where was 1 ? f Looks over book. ) Let 
 
 rsee Ssee! ( Scratches his head. ) I shall never get out ot 
 that seL Another author drowned ! Died from want of idea on the 
 bran (Suddenly.) Ah! I have it, "The Ghost ot my Murdered 
 Mother-in-law." ' That shall be the title for my new drama 1 
 represent a mother-in-law upon the stage and murder her Whatu 
 biilUant idea ! glorious ! The title itself is sufficient to (ads) har- 
 row up the soulT freeze the young blood and make one s two eyes star 
 from their spears like quills." (Baby cries, Abe hits it over the head 
 \cUha roll of paper./ Shut up, you little imp, and don t cry. I 
 V n-tJpeakinI o^f youreyes, butmine. (Ads.j "Round, roundas 
 
 he glob s, you ethereal 'heavens. "_ (Mks. Wateby Lotx oaWs/mu 
 T.E.ii.,'Abyr' Starts, strikes a position.) That'sme! (Callsotf^^-) 
 
4: THE LAST DROP. 
 
 Y-e-e-e-s. ( To audience. ) ThaVfimyma,stev'&molIiey-in-l(UO. (Palls 
 a face. ) She's a beauty, boiled vinegar ! Tiiat's a mother-in-law, as 
 has always got her weather eye open and when that gorgon looks an- 
 gry this child (meaning himself) has got to look out for squalls! 
 (Mes. W. L. calls off, "Aby !") C-o-m-iug ! (Shuts the hook and ikrows 
 it away. ) There ! ' " The Ghost of my Murdered Mother-in-Law " may 
 rest in peace for this day. (Comes down.) Now, my master isu 
 factory hand, works hard, earns a pile o' money, and is a decent sort 
 of a fellow, but when he married into the family of the Watery Lotts, 
 he not only partook of a wife belonging to that unsavory beverage, 
 but he Lad also to betake unto himself the crocodile of a mother-in- 
 law of that same j:)nmp water stream of Watery Lotts. (j\Ies. W. L. 
 calls again, "Aby!" Imitates her voice.) Coming! (Baby cries — 
 Abe Idts it. ) Shut up ! what with the baby and its mummy of an old 
 grandmother, this (meaning Idmself) promising child of genius has a 
 queer and lively time of it, 
 
 Mrs. W. L. (Witt tout v.-E^.n.) Abe, I want you to fetch the wood, 
 and be quick. 
 
 Ahe. (Ads.) Right, most glorious crocodile. (Acts.) Fetch 
 the wood, bring the sticks, or, it' you tarry j'our head I'll lick. 
 
 Enter M.i\^. Wateey Lott, u.e.e. 
 
 3Irs. W. L. (From heldnd, Juts him over the head lolth a rolling-pin. ) 
 Fetch the wood I 
 
 Ahe. (L.) 0-h ! (Hand to Jus head.) I've got it. (Aside.) 
 Wood upon my wooden head. (Aloud to her.) " Avaunt ! and quit 
 my sight, thy bones are marrowless —there is no speculation iu those 
 eyes." 
 
 Mrs. TK L. (n., hits Jiim again.) But there's plentj^ of reality, 
 you idiot. 
 
 Ahe. (Acts.) Give me a dozen wives. (Aside quicJcly.) But 
 uo mother-in-law. (Aloud- ) * ' Bind up my wounds. " 
 
 3rrs. W. L. (Hits him agcun. ) I'll wound you ! 
 
 Ahe. (Acts.) " Another and another yet ! I'll have no more." 
 
 Mrs. W. L. Get out, idiot. (Follows him up stage. 
 
 Ahe. (Folds his arms and scowls.) Get out, idiot! Hn., ha! 
 (Strikes an attitude.) "What's in a name? A rose by, any other — " 
 (Breaks off suddenly and sings and dances to iheinne''of) "Dere's 
 some one in de house wid Dinah, dere's somebody in de house, I 
 know. " 
 
 Mrs. W. L. Get out of the house, and leave Dinah alone. Do 
 you know me, fellow ? 
 
 Ahe. Well ! you are my missus' mother and master's mother-in- 
 law ! What's home without a mother-in-law. It may be all very well 
 (smifks <d her) without one, but a mother-in-law makes it lively ! 
 
 ( Slie chases Jam round tJte stage, ordering him to fetch the wood, 
 she drives him out at door in flat 1j.c.; he singing, "Buffalo 
 gals, will you como out to night, &c." 
 
THE LAST DROP. 5 
 
 Mr.9. W. L. ( Looking af lev him. ) A good-for-notliiug lout. This 
 all comes of reading, stuffiug Lis bead with the contents of cheap 
 novels and insulting the head of the family ; (xoith dignity) tlie mother- 
 in-law of the Comstock household, the head of the family of the 
 Watery liolLs. 
 
 3der Mrs. Jane Comstoce, d.f., wIUl basket of provisions. 
 
 3frs. C. (Tj.) Oh, mother, you here ? ( P ais down basket. ) I'm 
 so glad, for I've good news— George will be home to dinner directly, 
 to-morrow he couuneuces fresh duties. He has been i^romoted and 
 is now the foreman of the factory. 
 
 Mrs. W. L. CR., iciUi a self -sat Isfied air.) A-h ! I take some 
 credit to myself for that, my dear. All my children have married 
 well, for haven't I inculcated the golden grains of sobriety in all their 
 minds? And what between the wife and the wife's preceptor (your 
 husband's motlier-i)i-l(ao), no wonder that he has ))eeu led into the 
 channels of discretion, temperance and sobriety ! The Watery Lotts 
 and temperance habits always go together. 
 
 George. ( Without, door i^.F. ) Jane! Jane! 
 
 3Irs. C. Ah, here he is ! 
 
 Brder j\Ir. George Comstock door j..v. His ivi/e loelcomes him. He 
 takes off his coat, dtc, which ItJs wife places at back of stage. 
 
 George, (c. ) Good news, wife ! Why do you smile and seem so 
 radiant? Surely you must have heard of 1113'^ promotion. Have 
 you ? 
 
 Mrs. C. (Shakes hands with him.) I have, George, just now at 
 the grocer's, and wms so pleased, tliat I hurried away to get home be- 
 fore you. JSow sit down, (Site places a chair for 1dm at the head of 
 c. table) for it's a cold dinner to-day- All was prepared before I went 
 to the store ! 
 
 (They sit at tabic xohich has been laid out for dinner, water-bottle 
 on table. 
 
 George. (Se(ded at head of table, c, helps himself to water, drinks.) 
 Ah ! That's invigorating after a hard morning's work. We have been 
 married over twelve months, dear wife, and to-morrow I shall com- 
 mence my foremanship with over live hundred dollars savings in the 
 bank. AVhen we married, Jane, I was poor, you exacted a promise 
 that I would abstain from the use of all stimulating drinks. 
 
 Mrs. G. (l.) I did, George, and right well have you kept your 
 word. (Jumps tip, kisses him. 
 
 Mrs. \V. L. (R.) Good! (Sighs. 
 
 George. Yes, I have kept my word, although, I must confess, I 
 found it somewhat hard at first ; but I persevered, wife, and eventually 
 succeeded ; have worked hard, both early and late ; have saved money, 
 and thanks to this, (holding up a tumbler of water) to the invigora- 
 ting qualities of pure wholesome water, wliich neither enervates nor 
 debases, I stand now in the full confidence of my employer, and to- 
 
THi: LAST DliOP. 
 
 morrow regularly commence my duties as foreman OA'er the largest 
 factory iu tins district, 
 
 Ilrs. V. ( WJiO lias helped all to meat, jnckles, &c., throughout the 
 foregobig. ) I congratulate you, George, for you have deserved suc- 
 cess. With true seli-denial, you have kept your ^yord to ubstaiu 
 from drinking, nor do I believe since you placed this wedding-ring 
 npon my linger, and I exacted that promise from you as the price of 
 my consent, you have ever tasted of anything stronger than the nat- 
 ural drinks of mankind. 
 
 George. Jane, j ou're .in angel ! 
 
 Mrs. W. L. Ah, my children, (sighs) you see M'hat it is to have 
 a mother-in-law ! A good wife is well enough in her way, but with- 
 out a mother's elevating precepts to her daughter previous to marriage, 
 and the doctrines of good inculcated in the mind of the husband hy 
 his mother-in-law (tfler, (imth energy) that husband never could have 
 embraced or worshipped liis angel 
 
 George. ( Laughs heariily. ) Well said, mother-in-law. Is she not 
 right, wife— say? 
 
 3lrs. C. Mother's right in the value of her precepts, but somewhat 
 wrong in another way. So are you, George. I am 710 angel, but 
 merely a true woman faithful to her trust. My work throughout has 
 merely been a labor of love, for I have simply performed my dut}'. 
 A little hole iu a ship sinks it, "A little drop" has been many a 
 n)an and woman's ruin. Every drunkard begins with a ''Single glass." 
 Twelve months back yon promised laithfully (for I would not let you 
 swear) that when we married you had partaken of your ' Last Drop," 
 and I (reverently) thank God that you have kept your word ! 
 
 ( Child cries. 
 
 George. Look to the baby, M'ife. 
 
 (Jane goes to tlie cradle and rocks it, haby stops crying, Geoege 
 sits h. of cradle. 
 
 George. Bless its little rosy cheeks, (Mes, W. L. clears the table, 
 leaving Abe's dinner on table.) You see wife, I have tried both ways. 
 When* I drank hard long before our marriage I became enervated. 
 Since my fulfilled promise to abstain, I Lave become invigorated. 
 I drink no spirits, and am in good spirits, I never touch ale, there- 
 fore am both hale and hearty, I never poison my system in the form 
 of drinks, nor do I use antidotes in the form of drugs, I have four 
 reasons for remaining so : 
 
 First — My health is stronger, 
 Second — My head is clearer, 
 Third — J\Iy heart is lighter, and 
 Fourth — ]\Iy purse is heavier ! 
 
 Which renders wife, home, mother-in-law and all around us happier ! 
 
 (Factory hell rings, all jump up. 
 Mrs. C. There's the factory bell. That's the first one, George. 
 
THE LAST DROP. , 7 
 
 I'll have some nice hot cakes tiud everything comfortable when yon 
 come home to supper. Away you go ! (SJie brings his coat. 
 
 Abe. ( Who has previously entered door l.f., stands within the door- 
 way—ads.) "Staud not upou the order of going but go at once," 
 (Tliey alllaugh.) Whew! it's warm, master, and I'm thirst3^ Mrs. 
 Watery Lott, (to Mrs. W. L., loho is lu) this benighted traveller is 
 parched. A glass of water, you old beldame, if you love me ! 
 
 (Mrs. C. helps her husband on with Ids coat r.c. 
 
 3frs. W. L. Love you, you young good-for-nothing, if you don't 
 obey and leave off that trashy play acting, I'll thrash you ! 
 
 Abe. (c.) The woman who lays her hand upon this innocence 
 and virtue, ah ! she dies ! 
 
 (lie strikes an attitude, iJirowing loood down l.c, which goes on 
 Mrs. W. L. 's toes. 
 
 Mrs. W. L. (L. ) 0-h ! my corn ! You imp, you've hilled me ! 
 
 Abe. "Dead, for a ducat, dead!" Ha! ha! (Thrusts.) I 
 tritunph ! ( Crows. Mrs. W. L. nuts after him — George interposes. 
 
 George. Abe, unless you leave off indulging in this display of nou- 
 sense, you will have to find another master. Eat your dinner ! 
 
 Abe. (Salaams, aside.) Kind slave, I obey. ( Takes plate from 
 table, sits in l. corner, eats.) I'll become a "killer, for that Zof is a 
 killerer ! 
 
 George. Don't mind him, mother-in-law, I'll correct him. 
 
 Mis. W. L. (Going off, u.e.r. j 13ufc my corn, oh, the good-for- 
 nothing. (Hobbles o/f u.e.r. j My corn ! my corn ! 
 
 Abe. Yes, pop corn ! 
 
 (Sings.) "Up and down the city road, 
 
 In and out the Eagle, 
 That's the way the money goes, 
 (Makes the sound of ''Fop!" with his finger and his mouUu 
 Pop ! goes the weasel ! 
 
 (Eats and chokes, George 7a^9 him iniheback.) "Tyrant! would 
 yoTi take my life ?" Take anything but that. (Acts, throws down plate, 
 dbc. ) " I fly to save myself, or perish in the attempt !" 
 
 (Exits door L.F., loilh a melo-dramatic start. Factory bell rings. 
 
 Abe. (Fops Ills Jiead in at the loindow in flat n.c, acts.) "Bing 
 the alarm-bell," "awake these snorting sleepers iu their beds." 
 
 (George tJirows Jus cap at Jam, Abe disappears, closing loin- 
 dow. 
 
 Mrs. C. There's the second bell, George. You've five minutes [ 
 only to get back to the factory. 
 
 George. I'm off. ( Going c, comes back. ) Oh, Jane, John Walsh 
 has not been to work to-day ; the old complaint, wife, drink. If to- 
 morrow he is absent without good cause, my instructins are, on the 
 commencement of my new duties, to discharge him on the instant. 
 
 Mrs. C. (L.c.) Poor Mrs. Walsh, what toill become of her? 
 
8 THE LAST DEOP. 
 
 George, (c.) Both Mr. and Mrs. Walsli are good hearted soiiI«, 
 but the effect of that cursed passion of his for drink is breaking up 
 their home. I wish I could reclaim him, both would then be made 
 happy. Jane, you Rball go and see Mrs. Walsb, ask her to supper, 
 I'll talk seriously to John and try to effect his cure. 
 
 3/r.s. C. I will, George ! Now hurry off. I wish poor John would 
 take his " Last Drop " as you have done. 
 
 George. Good bye, wife, for the present. (Kisses her. 
 
 Abe. (Opens icindow in fiaf, looks in, sings.) *'0h, kiss me! 
 kiss me ! pretty mother." 
 
 (Geoege makes for 1dm, he closes ihe window and disappears. 
 George exits door L.r. JMrs. Comstock laughs. 
 
 Close in quickly. 
 
 Scene II. — A Front Street. I\Ie. Catch'em's Liquor Slore. Door in 
 fltd c. S'upi ''2V<e Golden Eagle" hanging over door. Various labels, 
 consisting or ^'Wbies," '^Liquors," ''Cigars," ''Lager Jiler," "FJula- 
 delpida Ale," &c., painted onfiid. Lights half down. 
 
 Caich'em. ( Appearing at door. ) Nearly tv.'o o'clock, (Yawns.) 
 Trade's bad to-night, it makes a bartender feel sleepy. Plenty of 
 customers inside, but no money. (Shakes his head. ) But no hang- 
 ing up ; that game's played out. An honest bartender can't make any 
 stamjjs, if he's always hanging everybody up. (Yaims.) Where's 
 Jack Walsh to-uight? First time he's missed my bar for more than 
 twoyeors. ( Looks off i.. ) Here's the "cop." (Policeman e/(<ers l.) 
 All right, officer. ( Paidomlmes and exits into store. 
 
 Police. ( Looks round cavdio'usly. ) No sergeant about. It's rather 
 cold ; a tumbler of Catch'em's Bye whisky will be O. K. 
 
 Lie-enter Catch'em imth icldsky, which he keeps behind him. Police- 
 man looks about, then slyly and quickly drlidcs it. John Walsh 
 speaks loltlioid l. 
 
 Catcliem. (e.g.) At last! Jack "Walsh is to be sold out to-mor- 
 row, ofl&cer. An honest bartender may as well get his last stamps as 
 the sheriff. Jack's a generous fellow, treats all hands when he's flush. 
 Be on the look oat, Policeman, in case you are wanted, for Jack gets 
 ugly at times. 
 
 Follcenian. (c.) Ah! Too nmch rum is bad for working men ! 
 Bartenders must be protected, Mv. Catch'em, and the police force 
 must be respected also, Mr. Catch'em. (Hds Catch'em over Hie arm 
 tclth, Ids club, al which he cries out.j Excuse me, sir, I'm sure I 
 thought I had a case. (John sings without l.) But here he comes. 
 Ill look out, sir. (Policeman exits ix. Cvtch'em: goes in store. 
 
THE LAST DEOP. 9 
 
 John Walsh. ( Sing ^ without -l.) — 
 
 " Since then good liquor was sent for our uses, 
 To gladden our hearts while we shun its abuses;" 
 
 Eater John Walsh, l., drimk. 
 
 ♦'May each teetotalist freeze, \vxi\\ ice 
 He's a lump of, 
 For the man that drinks water, I'd have 
 Made a pump of. 
 
 Tol-de-dol, &c." 
 
 (Speaks, c.) I Avonder if Catch'em, the bartender, will hang me np. 
 I've no money left, and I've spent "lashens" at his bar. Well,— hie 
 — I can but trj'. A-h ! whisky's good for my complaint. Whisky! 
 Why, Nvhisky the god of war brightens the intellect, and ought to be 
 introduced at our public schools ! (S'uujs. 
 
 "He drank sloi^s and Avater, took tea to satiety, 
 Which made his wife curse the teetotal society. 
 
 Tol-de-dol, &c. 
 Catch'em. (Appears at door in flat.) Ah, my dear friend Jack 
 Walsh ! Honest Injun ! 
 
 ( Going to shake John hy the hand, loho tries to see and grasp if, 
 
 viakes a dive, misses it, nearly knocking Catch'em down. 
 
 John leans his fait weight upon 1dm. 
 
 John. (L.c.) Steady, steady! Here, somebody hold me nj), or I 
 
 shall knock down this lamp-post I ( Heels agaiJist Catch'em afresh. 
 
 Catch'em. (ii.c.) Ha, ha, ha! Lam.p-post? That's a good 'un. 
 
 But come in, friend Jack, you're always welcome, proud to see old 
 
 friends, and a "ball" will do you good ! 
 
 John. Good? Ha, ha! good! Yes, it will! I'll drink to forget 
 home ! Forget poverty, a sick wife, cbild, myself, life, nnsery, death I 
 Ha, bn, ha ! Wliisky ! ( With a sudden change of manner.) Catch- 
 'em, I'm to be sold out to-morrow. Discharged, too ! Ha, ha ! think 
 of that ! There's sport ! 
 
 (Heels and drags Catch'em up to the store. Catch'em pats 
 John encouragingly on the head. 
 GdcJi'em. Come, Jack, one or two good "stiff 'uns " taken sti*aight 
 will do you good. (Exewd into store. 
 
 Enter Policeman, r. 
 
 Eoilce. Yes, Mr. John Walsh, yon don't want much move drink to 
 lay you straight, and make you a "stiff 'un," as you call it, for good I 
 (llnbs his liands gleefully.) I shall have a customer to-night. I'll 
 wait about and land him. (Eclt u. 
 
 Elder Mes. John Walsh l., she is pale and icoc-hegone, also poorly 
 clad. She appeals dejected. 
 
 Mrs. Walsh. For hours have I been Avaiting to try and find my 
 
10 THE LAST r»EOP. 
 
 husband, yet of no avail. Oh, this cursed pasigion for strong drink ! 
 What demon ia it that urges men 'to destroy their constitutions, deso- 
 late their homes, ruin their wives and families, never seeminf? to rest 
 or be ha.pi)y until they reach the police station and the jail? In a 
 few hours the sheriff's execution and my husband's discharge from the 
 factoiy*both await us ! George and his wife have been with me dur- 
 ing the past night, and with all kindness in their hearts, delicately 
 they made me acquainted with the worst ! (Loud ImujJUer, ihen quar- 
 relUng imih'in ihe store hehind the fiats.) Ob, heavens! (Looks hnr- 
 rledly ihrough door into the store, starts hack. ) I thought so ! My 
 husband is there, and quarrelling ! / cannot enter into the presence 
 of those rough men. (As with a sudden thought.) I will go back to 
 George at this late hour, he will not mind being disturbed, if only he 
 could be the means of helping a broken hearted wife and restoring a 
 husband to her loving arms. (Exit, hurriedly, l. 
 
 (Fresh tumult within store lehind fiats. John is ejected ly 
 Catch'em, he reels and falls c. 
 Catdiem. ( Calls off r., ) Here, officer ! 
 
 He-enter Policeman, k. 
 
 Police, (e.g.) "What is it, sir? 
 
 Catch'em. (l.c.) AVhy, this drunlcen vagabond, after forcing his 
 way into my liquor store and ordering the best in the house for every- 
 body, refuses to pay, and says he has no money. Honest men are 
 not to be imposed upon by drunken loafers ! Ours is a respectable 
 hotel, officer. Here! (Quietly gives Policeman money.) Tou 
 know ! 
 
 Police. Pight, T\Ir. Catch'em, I know you, sir. You're an honest 
 man, sir. J 7/ protect you. (Kicks 3oti^. ) Get up ! 
 
 Catch'em. ( Nods his Itead loiih approval. ) I see I can safely leave 
 him with you. Good night, officer ! (Exit into store. 
 
 Police. I'll nurse him, sir. Ill treat him as I would a baby. 
 (Cluhs liim. V/alsh halloes out.) Don't make that infernal row. 
 Do you think we've nothing better to do than to be dragging a lot of 
 scallywags, without money, before the judge on charges of drunken- 
 ness? (Kicks him.) "What right have you to get drunk and no 
 money? (Cluhs him — ^Ya'lsji groans piteously The Policeman emp- 
 ties his pockets, iurning iJiem inside out.) I knew it, not a cent. 
 (Handles liim roughly, drags him to his feet. ) Stand up I If you don't 
 Avalk quietly, I'll club you black and blue, and in the morning swear 
 that you were drunk and disorderly ! 
 
 John. (Almost helpless.) O-h ! You've clubbed me bkck and 
 blue already ! ( Groans. 
 
 Police. (Bragging him offT. ) Come along, d'ye hear? 
 
 (Walsh hy a desperate effort throws him off' and stands erect, 
 hurning with rage — Tahleau. 
 
 Police. (Surprised.) Why, I thought you were drunk ? 
 
THE LAST DROP. 11 
 
 Jolni. (c. ) I ii:as I But your clubbing has soraewliafc sobered me, 
 find I am thankful for it ! I swear never to touch another drop of 
 liquid lire again, as long as ever I live ! Oh ! my wife, my child, to 
 this (satirically to Poi-iceman; good avgel of the public peace, to 
 this cruel devil of the police force, the existing police cu7-se to human- 
 it}', you owe, this night, a husband and a father's preservation from 
 disgrace, from luiu, from jail ! Thank God ! thank God ! 
 
 ( ]feep3 sllerdJy. 
 
 Tollce. (Amazed.) Here, stop that, and come with me. Cryiug 
 
 will not help you an}^ for a drunkard's word with never be taken. 
 
 We don't want any exhibition of Plymouth Bock snivelling in the 
 
 public streets and we don't intend to have it. 
 
 (Seizes Walsh, roJio vpslsls and calls for help. TJi.ey struggle. 
 Geoege and Mes. Walsh enter l. Geoege strikes PoiiicE- 
 MAN to the ground E. Geoege and John c. Mes. Walsh l. 
 Catch'em appears at door in flat. Tableau. 
 George. We don't want any of your public paid ruf&anisn "ex- 
 hibited in the public streets, and we don't intend to have it !" /have 
 not tasted one drop of cursed liquor for more than twelve months and 
 my tcord loill he taken. 1 — saw — you — club — that — man, after which 
 "go through him " as the saying is, while he was lying senseless upon 
 the ground. I will appear and make a charge against you to-morrow 
 before the judge, imless you allow me quietly to take him away to his 
 home, for he has promised to lead an amended life, and he will be 
 yet a blessing instead of a curse to his wife and family ! ( Warningly 
 to John. ) But not another drop of strong drink, John. 
 
 John. ( Sohered, hut dazed. ) N-o ! I — I — l'\Qiii]iQVL (sigldngwlth 
 
 a sense of relief) "The Last Drop," " The Last Drop ! (Music. 
 
 (Geoege and Mrs. Wai-sh lead John off l. Catch'em enters 
 
 the store and closes door. Policeman slinks off' e. displaying 
 
 anger. 
 
 Scene III. — John Walsh's Home (the Abode of Drunkenness). A 
 Bade Garret. Door in flat l. Old table c. Four old chairs. One 
 broken armchair, l. Small fire burning in grate u.e.e. 
 
 Mes. Walsh discovered preparing breahfast, laying the cloth, cups and 
 saucers, plates, knives, cOc. John sleeping in a chair e. 
 
 3frs. Walsh, (c, looks at her husband.) Yes, dear husband, you 
 have promised to reform, and I believe you are now sincere ; sleep on, 
 sleep out this drunken stupor, a delirium which too often reduces a 
 man to the level of the brute. ( Takes up the teapot. ) Now to put 
 the tea in the pot. (Does so. Goes to the fire. ) Now for the boiling 
 water. (Fills the pot, hums her liand, drops it quickly and blows her 
 hands. ) That was hot ! ( Quickly runs with the pot to the table, places 
 it down. ) Now, when Comstock'a lad comes with the bread, the ham 
 
12 THE LAST DROP. 
 
 and the bultcr, and George and his wife arrive before he starts for his 
 morning's -work, Ave will all have a pleasant breakfast together. Only, 
 to them are we indebted for this kindness, the^^ have furnished ns 
 Avitli all these necessaries. Only bare shelves in an empty cupboard 
 have sui^plied the provisions for my family during the past few days. 
 Pawn, pawn, pawn! drink, drink, drink! (Rouses herself. ) But 
 I'll not repine, matters are going to mend, my sick child Avill become 
 well, my once loving husband sober and industrious, when I shall 
 again Avitness, what I did with pride and pleasure, dufing the lirst 
 years of our married life, a loving, happy and contented household ! 
 (Knock at the door l-f., Dognosk opeii.s U, and appears drnnk. 
 Dognose, Can I come iu? (Enters and closes door after Jihn.) 
 Don't disturb yourself, Mrs. Walsh. I never do. Don't stand npon 
 ceremony. That's not my custom. (Sits at table. Fats Ids lutnd on 
 Vie teapot — hirns Jus fingers.) WheAV ! Avhat in thunder's this? 
 ( Shakes Ills fingers to cool them .Bends his head and smells.) Tea! 
 Stuff! Why people Avill pel•.si^;t iu destroying the coalings of their 
 stomachs Avith these infernal hot drinks, I don't knoAV and can't tell 1 
 ( lakes dram hoille out of Jus pocket and sits in the old arm-cluilr 
 
 JL.C. 
 
 Mrs. Walsh. (Sits dejectedh/ in chcur at table. Aside.) The 
 shadoAV of evil again here to darken our threshold on the promised 
 dawn of brightness. (Looks round to n.) My hnsl)and sleeps. If I 
 could but manage to get this tempter Dognose ont of the hou.se before 
 he aAvakes or the Comstock's arrive. (Rises. ) I'll try ! 
 
 Dognose. (Seated l. .) What are you talking to yourself about, 
 Mrs. \\'alsh ? Be plain and above board. That's my maxim. Speak 
 out (Unimps the table) like a man, or you'll make me chicken hearted 
 and feel like a Avoman. Here, drink ! ( Without i isingfrom his chair 
 he holds out the dram bottle to her.) Drink hearty and droAvn your 
 sorrow ! (Dognose drinks. 
 
 3Irs. Walsh. (Starts vp c. ) ]Man, (pause — Dognose, bleared, 
 looks vp) or rather brute, leave this place, and at once. (Pointi)ig 
 io door in flat. ) Yoiu- evil Avays and Avorse counsels have brought 
 ruin npon my husband and all belonging to ns. The Avhislccy fiend, 
 drink, that dry rot to man's prosperity, his present joys and future 
 hopes, has worked sufficient misery here, and ik)W that my husband 
 has promised to reform leave this place instanfl}'. Do not awaken 
 him, do not let him catch a glimpse of you, the author of all this 
 ruin, or dread the just fury of an injured and a broken-hearted Avife ! 
 (Site falls into cliair by the table and loeeps. 
 
 Dognose. (2Iaudlingly looks ovtr at Iter.) A storm in a tea-cup! 
 Humph! Here's your good health, marni ! (Drinks — sings.) "For 
 good Avine inspires ns, it inflames and devours us." Ha, lia, lia ! 
 What a happy fellow AValsh must be to have such an angel for a Avife. 
 NoAv, Avhen a man's in a passion he tears his hair, but Avhen a woman's 
 angry she tears her husbands, so the poor wretch gets it both Avays. 
 Your health again, marm ! 
 
THE LAST DEOP. 13 
 
 (Drinks. Gels up, staggers, crosses over to k. and xmkes John, 
 brings him down stage e.g., offers Jam the dram hotlle ,' John 
 maudlingly takes it, is about to drink ichen Mrs. Walsh looks 
 np from table, sees the action, ruslies down, protects her hus- 
 band. Tableau. 
 3Irs. Walsh, (c.) No, no, linsband, j'our proiiiise, not your oath. 
 Reuieniber your word, ^^ no str'ong drinks," " 1 have taken 'The Last 
 Drop,' 'The Last Drop!'" Come, come! (She gels the botlle; lie 
 gradnalbj and gently relinq}dsld)uj Ids hold.) Thank heaven ! The 
 "whisky liend is brought to bay. Truth and good counsel at last pre- 
 vail ! 
 
 (Puis ike bottle down on table, then places her husband's neck-tie 
 in belter trim. Dognose snatches up the bottle. 
 Dognose. (h., aside.) Won't drink? Then I will. (Drinks.) 
 Yv^hat's life without pleasure? (Shuffles in a viaudlia manner to l. 
 chair. ) A short life and a merry one, that's my motto 1 (Sings aloud 
 i)i a drunken manner.) " Oh, I wouldn't live for ever, I wouldn't if I 
 could. But I needn't fret about it, for I couldn't if I would !" 
 
 (Falls lielplessly asleep in chair. 
 
 Enter Mr., and jMes. Comstock door t..f., folloioed by Abraham See 
 icilh a basket of i^rovisions. 
 
 George. Here we are as promised. We've just half an hour for 
 breakfast before the factory bell goes. ( Touches the tea-pot on the 
 table.) The tea's made, I see. That's all right. (ToAbic.) Now, 
 then, A-B-C, out with the provender, and let us feed. 
 
 Abe. ( Quickly 2)laces the eatables on the table— acts. ) "Feed the 
 hungry lions in their den." Ha, ha, ha! Wolves, wolves, wolves! 
 (George Idts Jam ou iJie head — Abe springs into the e. corner ; imitates 
 an old man. ) "For five-and-twenty years I've never tasted food." 
 
 (Daring this Mrs. Comstock and Mrs. \\ m.^ii have prepared 
 tJie table, &c. 
 
 3Irs. C. Let i;s eat hearty and rest thankful. Now then, breakfast, 
 
 Abe. (Xj., sees DoGi^os-ir. asleep in the chair Iu.c., starts.) Ha! ha! 
 Give him his gruel and let him go to bed ! 
 
 George, (r.c, sees Dognose, to Mrs. Walsh.) That man here? 
 How is that ? 
 
 3Irs. Walsh, (l.c.) He forced Ins way in ; would have forced my 
 Imsband to drink with him, but he remembered his promise, as he 
 told us he would, that he'd partaken of his "Last Drop." 
 
 George. I am glad to hear it. f 21) John. J Cheer up, old fellow, 
 we'll save yon yet. 
 
 John. (Jleartily shakes Geotxgi: by the hand.) I hope so, George, 
 I ]n-ay so. 
 
 George. (Looking over to Dognose in chair l.c. ) What a sight for 
 I'.umanity. At an early hour in the morning, when the lark is singing 
 iu the heiivens, here's a man in his cups and asleep, drunk, dead 
 drunk ! 
 
14: THE LAST DROP. 
 
 Abe. (I.., points helow and sings.) "Down among the dead men, 
 down, down, down." 
 
 3Irs. G. (c, laughs. ) You'd better sit down, khy, and eat your 
 breakfast, (Ail laugh and sit. 
 
 Enter Me. Eaikfall and a SJieriff's officer, door l.f. — all rise. 
 
 George. Wliat'a all this ? 
 
 3fr. llainfall. (At door.) A distraint for rent! The landlord 
 will wait no longer, nor will lie encourage drunken tenants. ( To his 
 man.) Out with the goods into the street. 
 
 George. Stop ! John Walsh has promised to reform, and he is a 
 man of his word. Is not that so, John ? 
 
 Jolin. (Bises. ) Yes, George, it is. I will conquer all difdculties 
 and temptations at starting, and be successful in the end. 
 
 George. Mind 3'o^^ do, then. ( Grosses over to DoGt^o^v.iuC, and 
 takes the dram botllefrom his liand, goes hack to John.) John, (John 
 turns) have another drink? (Holds dram bottle — John tiirns away.) 
 From this, then? ( Takes the icater bottle from c. table. ) The water 
 bottle ! 
 
 (Pours out a tumbler of xmter — John drinks heartily ; all pleased. 
 George. (To Mr. R. j Mr. Rainfall, Fll see you paid. John 
 Walsh is on the right road now, he means what he says and togethc r 
 we'll go to work in the factory this very morning. 
 
 Mr. B. All right, sir. I can trust you, you're a man of j'our wcuJ; 
 for you're a solder nian and don't fool away your earnings upon drink. 
 ( To man.) Come along. 
 
 ( They exeunt door in flat. Factory hell rings wiihoid. 
 John. ( ClLeerfully. ) There goes the first bell, George. 
 Mrs. Walsh. ( Crosses to Jam, ix.c. ) That's right husband, waken 
 up. 
 
 Abe. (Looks at John.^ The dormouse sleeps on the old man's 
 knee ! 
 
 George. Don't make a fool of j'ourself, A-B-C. 
 3frs. C. Mr. Walsh, yovi're on the straight track at last. 
 John. And hope to continue so ! And with kind words and coun- 
 sel from our dear friends present, aided by my own power of will, 
 trust never again to get out of the grooves of sobriet)\ 
 
 George. That's right, stick to your text, John, and maybe years 
 after, when the laws of temperance shall have made us all prosperous 
 and happy, when the j)resent is forgotten, we may remember the lov- 
 ing words only and the happy feelings of the present hour ; never for- 
 gettiijg that poor folks have hearts the same as the rich ones ; that, 
 v.'ith a "cup of crystal water" we must tender a little kindness and 
 consistent counsel. For was it not over a like refreshing draught 
 (liolds up a glass of water) that your vow to abandon ail stimulants 
 was recorded — that of this poison (holds up the dram boiile) you had 
 seen the last, that you had partaken of " The Last Droj)." 
 
THE LAST DROP. 
 
 Disposition of ihe Characters. 
 
 George. 
 
 DoGNOsE in chxdr 
 at hack. 
 
 ^^ IjtEORGE. TI r 
 
 , . ^^^^ c. ^^^'^^ a 
 
 ^ ■ • 
 
 Curtain. 
 
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 104 Old Undo Billy. 
 
 105 An Elepliant on Ice. 
 no A Manager in a Fix. 
 
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 109 DiMcingI\t.nd. 
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