LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. Shelf t N 4-.B 7 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. f3 ^^-1 S ^RF0RMtO^< . w - p u * Q **^r -n~f|?~f1 NEW-YORK : FREDERIC A. BRADY (PUBLISHER OF CHARLES DICKENS'S HOUSEHOLD WORDS,) NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET. Price 13 Cents. ^^ ^S PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. p9 CTS. V-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.AAAAAAAAAAA a" A A A A A ««(((( s, GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK. No. 2. I $*fo-garh: FREDERIC JL BRADY, PUBLISHER 126 NASSAU ST. ^^^^^^▼^^^"▼H^^^^^ Just Published. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. " " 4t George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book. No. 3. " " ■ ' Silk or cotton, it's all the same to me /" [Robert Make-airs. NO I. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA, ROBERT MAKE-AIRS : OR, The Two Fugitives. •WRITTEN EXPRESSLY FOR GEORGE CHRISTY. BY E. WARDEN, ESQ. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c. ♦ ♦ » » » NEW-YORK : FREDERIC A. BRADY. 1*26 X ass au Street. ^s Entered according to Act of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clerk's Office of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State of New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled "An Act to amend the several acts respecting Copyright," approved February third, eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws of the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic composition, de- signed or suited for public representation, shall be deemed and taken to confer upon the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, along with the sole right to print and publish the said composition, the sole right also to act, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public place during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor, or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the sa^.d author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action *^n the case or other equiva- lent remedy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all cases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the first, and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- nizance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein enacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by any manager, actor, or other person, previous to the securing of the copyright for the saia composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process in equity in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August 18, 1856. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Author, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. EDITORIAL INTRODUCTION , " Kobert Make- airs; or, The Two Fugitives," is a Burlesque on the ever-popular Melodrama eutitled " Robert Macaire ; or, The Two Murderers," and was written by Edward "Warden, Esq., ex- pressly for George Christy. It was performed by the last named gentleman, in New York City, for upwards of one hundred consecu- tive nights to overflowing houses. The original cast of this trifle was what might have been called a strong one. Comprising the names of S. A. Wells as " Robert Make-airs" — who was the first, and with the exception of E. Bowers, the only representative of the devil-may-care, impudent, confidence darkey. While George Christy, as " Jake Strike," the nervous and excitable companion of Robert, performed in a manner that has never been equalled. And Mr. Campbell, as Sheriff Sopy, the consequen- tial officer in search of the fugitives, performed with his usual ability. All the other members of the company that performed at Minstrel Hall on the production of " Robert Make-airs," contributed to its general success, and its being kept before the public on its first rep- resentation for the unprecedented period above mentioned. jl I m 2 a ■a cc s bo Q- R p -QSQ Q hJ & ft m C$ £ Q m g PtM • | 'pj 3 3 - ? S £g £3 -= pfl e ^ .be « ^ k o w S E S a > ^ &v£ . ^ 3 CD ^ £= fcC c I f5>s W hs" d fe fc j§ ^ ^3 bD c CD irg g © .2 ,u o -+£ H c 2 ^ .g o g ° pq - o CO ^ -e o o O co o 13q «o 1)^ c ja »^ *-. ^ £3 5 5s* lis S ^ S c5 £ o £ p t: -^ "si 3 ^ •§ ^ p5 H 'g o o h4 $2 .„ «» . W ^2 m • si £2 GO O © 05 R ?Z ~bn ■— ' » Scene. — Mountain Pass. — £e£ Rustie Bridge across stage — set house t l. H. P with sign on " OLD X47F BONE 1 ' — clothes-line, with n night-gown, two sJieets, fyc, hanging on it — two brooms and small keg, marked GIN,' near house — mile-post, a," 10 MILES TO LIBERTY COr— some straw by mile-post— 2 tables, with bottles, on R. h. Dupont, Peter, Charley and others discovered as curtain rises. OPENING CHORUS. Hurrah ! hurrah ! de day is come ; Miss Clem is to be married. Glad are we. an' dat's a fac', For very long she ? s tarried. Bring out de wine, de hoe-cake, too, De gumbo and de cream — And don't forget de wedding cake, On which we darkies dream. Hurrah ! hurrah ! hurrah ! Dupont, c. [After Chorus.] Now den, boys, massa has gib you all holiday to tend to de wed- din'. Clementina will soon be here, and den Charley dar will be de happiest swine for de day. 8 robert make-airs. Peter, r. c. I say, boss, has, you got all de hog and de hominy ready for de whole party? Dupont. In course I has. Charley doesn't you like hog and hominy, and all such nice fixin's on your weddin' day. Charley. Ah, Massa Dupont, you have always been so kind to me, and Clementina's love is nuff for me on de present 'casion. Pse no appe- tite for de sweetmeats. Dupont. Ah, well, never mind ; you'll find an appetite after you're mar- ried. [Noise (f whip outside. Peter. Hillo ! here comes de bride and de deacon. [Music, lively. Enter Deacon and Clementina, cross bridge from l. Deacon, c. Well, friends, here we is you see. All ready for de 'casion of dis happy day. But. Clementina, why don't you say, " how d'ye do" to de family, and Charley, dar, your distended bridegroom. Clementina. [Salutes all, and then goes to Charley, who is whimpering l. h. Charles ! Charley. Clementina ! ! Clementina. How does you feel now ? Charley. Clementina, could I but 'spress to you de feelin's ob dis burstirf chest, I'd Clementina. What? Charley. Neber mind ; I'll tell you some oder time. ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. 9 Peter. [Singin g.] [Looking l.] Oil, look a here. Omnes. Oh, look whare ? Peter. Why look way over yander, Don't you see dat old grey gal ; She's comin' down here for a wonder. Peter. Oh, look a here ! Qmxes. Oh, look whar ? Peter. Why look way over Yander. Omxes. Oh, yes, we see dat ole* grey gal, And she's comin' down here for a wonder. [Music — Tremolo — Peter runs off, across bridge, and brings down Aunt Mary — he carrying one of her babies. Both come down c. Deacon. [To Mary.] What's your name, and whar did you come from ? Mary. Pity, kind friends, on dis poor frame, and gib me a chair. Peter. Dare's one. [Gives chair. Mary drops child as she sits.] What are you doiu' Do you want to commit a homicide. [Plays -with the babies.] Deacon. Get her some drink to quench her thirst. [Breakdown — hands bot- tle to Mary.] Xow den, tell us who you is ? Mary. Why, you see, my husband robbed a hen-roost wid a nudder dar- key, and has made tracks for de free states. So, I packed up de ba« bies, and am tryin' to find him. Deacon. And did he desert you ? 10 ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. Mary. Oh, yes, and took all de money wid him. Dupont. And are dese children his ? Mary. Yes. Peter. De monster ! [drops children.] Mary. My child! My child ! Dupont. Come along, my good woman Come in de house. Dar's plenty to eat and drink. Come, darkies, and let's attack de good tings. [Music— lively. All Exit in house — Stage darkens — Music chan- ges to Mysterious. Enter Robert l crosses bridge, beckon- ing Jake to follow. Jake appears l. and crosses, very much alarmed, trembling, fyc. When they get to c. Robert swings Jake and kicks him, Robert. Come along, you black rascal, — what are you afraid of? You see it's only ten miles to Liberty County — then we'll be in a free State. Jake. Yes, but if dat Sheriff clutches us Oh, dear ! Robert. Bah ! Shut up, don't you see dars de ole Jaw Bone, we'll stop and pick a bit. Jake. No, no, don't ; let's Schuylerize and cut our stick. Robert. Why, Jake, I'm not afraid of any darkey on dis plantation. See, dars goin* to be a spree about these diggins, and we must join* em to prevent suspicion. Sing out for some grub. Jake, No, no. You call, your de handsomest. Robert Well, you follow suit. ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. 11 Jake. Yes, when I dress myself for de 'casion. [Jake ties on neckerchief. Robert hurrying Jake.] EOBERT. Are you ready ? Jake. Yes, all ready. Egbert. [Striking table.] House dar ! Jake. [Imitating.] House dar ! Eobert. Landlord J Landlord ! Landlady ! Landlady ! Barmaid ! Barmaid ! Chambermaid 1 Chambermaid ! Dairymaid ! Dairymaid ! Any maid ! Jake. Eeady maid ! [Eobert kicks Jake,] Jake. Eobert. Jake. Eobert. Jake. Eobert. Jake. Eobert. Jake. Eobert. 1.2 ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. [Enter Peter jromi house l.] Peter. What's all de row about ? Has de prison broke loose ? Jake, [r. h. corner.] Prison ! He knows us. Eobert. No, but — bring us some refreshment, darkey. Jake. [Imitating.] Yes, bring us some peek. Peter. Well, what '11 you hab, gentlemen ? Robert. Give me a plate of roast beef, well done, brown on both sides with plenty of fat, by gravey. Jake. And bring me a plate of pork and beans, and lots of puddin'. Peter. What kind of pudding ? Jake. Plum both. Peter. We hain't got any of dat kind. Jake. Well bring us plenty of it and hurry it up. Peter. I'll give you de best we've got if dat'le do. Robert. Well go ahead, and don't be slora. [Exit Peter into house. Melo business.] Jake ? Jake. Yes! Robert. Eber since we killed dem pigs and stole de money from de missus and robbed dat hen roost Jake. And got in de callaboose ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. 13 EOBERT. And broke jail — I've heard dat de ole woman is arter me. But neber mind, if we can only rob dis house of some of its valuables, we'll be off and get under de sheltering wings of Horace Greely and aunt Abbey Folsom. Jake. * Yes, and in de good graces of de great Garrison, too. Robert. Here comes de grub, be ready to assist me. [Enter Peter from house with tray and eatables, and in crossing stage drops a knife which Jake picks up and puts in his pocket. There you is, gentlemen. [Is going.] Jake. Here, you boy, how is a couple of gentlemen goin* to eat with only one knife ? Peter. One knife, golly, I'll soon fetch anoder. [Robert steals handkerchief from Peter as he goes into house.] Robert. That's very clever, but why the devil don't he wear silk ones. [Pockets it and Jake steals it from him.] Jake. I ain't particular 'bout silk ones. [Enter Peter from house with knife] Peter. Here's de knife, gentlemen. [Is going] Robert, Here, young man, you say you lost a knife ? [As Peter is talking with Robert, Jake steals Peter's apron.] Peter. Yes, I reckon I did. [Jake fills his hot with all the eatables.] Robert. Well, I found it and there it is. [Gives knife.] Peter. You're goin' to stop to de weddin — we always likes good company. 14 , ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. ROBERT. Enough, we'll attend. [Exit Peter.] [Robert goes to table and is about to eat.] 1 Robert. How's this? the grub all gone. [Siezes Jake.] Speak, slave, or thou diest ? Jake. Why, you see the time was up, and you did'nt come to the scratch. Robert Villain ! thou art a robber to steal grub. Peter. [Outside.] Now for de dance, darkies. Robert, Ah ! de niggers is a comin' for de dance. We must jine 'em to prevent inspection. Jake. Oh golly don't ! I shall melt in my boots if they should find us out. Robert. What are you afraid of. Go in lemons if you do get squeezed* [Music. — Enter all from house.] Dupont. Now then, darkies, foot it merrily. [I hey dance a country dance, after which tlwy retire up stage. Robert goes to Jake. Robert. Jake, we must get a partner. Jake. Oh ! no ; I don't want to dance. Robert. Yes, yes, we must. I'll find you a partner. Jake. Pick out the pootest gal you can find. [Robert goes to a female and brings her down stage — introduces her to Jake in pantomime — Jake takes off his hat and drops eat- Jake. ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. 15 ables on stage. Jake sccambles for them while Robert attracts the females attention from it. The females signify that Bob and Jake have no gloves and retire up staged] Robert. Jake, they won't dance because we have no gloves. Jake. Have you got any ? Robert. Of course I have ; did you ever see a gentleman travel without gloves ? •"Well lend us a pair. Robert. Jake, I want to impress upon your mind that I neither borrow or lend. Jake. I never lend but am always on the borrow. Who knows but what I might find a pair among my wardrobe. \ Business of Bob and Jake putting on gloves. — Jake one stocking and one boxing glove — Bob and Clementina dance first — -Jake and woman dance afterwards — Then all, when they form a ring round Jake — Storm comes on — Exit all but Jake who is shut out. Jake. Say ! here ! Ain't you goin' to let a feller in ? Say ! — Oh dear I'm locked out and I'll git all wet [Jake makes a canopy withtwo tables and two brooms, two sheets from line and then goes behind and puts on night gown and eap — ■ then lies down — ivants a pillow — looks around, sees a keg — lies dmon and puts keg under head — too hard — goes to mile-post and gets some straw — puts it in keg — then lies down and sleeps — snores.] [Music. — Enter Sheriff and soldiers — cross bridge — down stage ob- lique.] Sheriff. Halt ! Order arms ! Carry arms ! Present arms ! Order arms ! 16 HOBEliT MAKE-AIRS. Stand at ease! [Sheriff takes off cloak— 'tangs it on mile post— puts hat on mile post — then takes out bill and pins it on cloak] Sheriff. I catch 'em, and then for the reward. Attention company ! Shoulder! arms ! Eight, [ace ! Forward, march ! File, left ! Trail, arms ! Quick, march ! | Exit into house.] Jake. Wakes and is looking round— sees the cloak on mile post] The Sheriff ! Oh ! dear. 'Scat ! [Takes a broom and creeps cautiously up to mile post and knocks it down, motioning that the Sheriff has run away. Then he puts on cloak and liat and stands c] | Music — Hurry. — Enter Robert from house — rum against Jake.] Robert. Why, Jake, have you Den sleeping out in de rain I Jake. Yes. Have you got any prizes? Robert. Yes ; what do you think of a purse and a pair of pistols ? Come this way and we'll divide the game. [Exit both r. [Enter Sheriff and Peter from house.] Peter. I does'n know anything about it. Sheriff. Well that may be all as you say, but I had me money and pistols when I went into the house. Peter. Dars been nobody here but two gentlemen and — [Looks r.] Dar dey are. [Calling.] Here, you, de Sheriff wants you. Robert. Well, and what's the matter ? [Entering r.] Jake. [Imitating.] Yes, what's the muss. I'd like to know. Sheriff. Why, you see gentlemen, Vm on the look out for a couple of raa- ROBERT MAKE-AIKS. 1 ( cals that broke jail and are runaway niggers, and if I could only lay my bands on em — [Puts one hand on Robert and one on Jake.] Robert. I exDect so. [Jake trembles.] Jake. Yes, I suppose so. Sheriff. I come here in de rain, and in de house dar I lost my money and a pair of pistols dat I meant to shoot de rascals with. Robert. Why you don't suspect us. Jake. No you can't inspect us. Sheriff. No, for when I look on dat honest, open countenance, I see dat 1 was wrong. Come, you must take a bite with me. Robert. With pleasure. Sheriff. Here, Pete ; bring us some grub, quick. Peter. Yes, sir. [Exit to house.] Jake. Come, boy ; the grub — the grub. [Enter Peter from house with tray.] Sheriff. Sit down, gentlemen. Robert. „ After you, sir. [All sit at table c] When did these rascals run off? Sheriff. About a week since. [Jake coughs.] Robert. What's the matter with you ? Jake. Nothing only a little bone got down my throat the wrong way. 18 ROBERT MAKE-AIRS. Egbert. From what prison did they escape ? Sheriff. From the Goose-creek jail. Jake. We're dished. [Gets under the table.] Sheriff. Why you see they where's your friend ? ROBERT. My friend, ah ! I'll find him. I'm going. Good bye Jake. [Coming from under tJw table. j So am I. Good bye. EOBERT. What are you doing there ? Jake. Looking for my toothpick Sheriff [Aside.] That looks rather suspicious. Robert. Well, good bye, sir. Sheriff. Excuse me, gentlemen ; but before you go, I would like to look at your papers. [Enter all but Mary.] Robert. With pleasure, sir. Jake. [To Rob. Have we got papers ? Robert. Of course we have. Jake. Yes, sir ; with pleasure. Robert. [Gives paper.] That I think you'll find all right. Sheriff. Wash robert make- airs. 19 Robert. Excuse me, I — that is my wash bill. Such little articles will get into one's pocket. That's it, I think. [Gives anotker.] Sheriff. Pants Robert. Pardon me ; that is a little clothing bill, One pair of pants $2,75 ; 2,67 ; 8,75. Ah ! this is the right one. [Gives paper.] Sheriff. What is yonr name sir ? Robert. My name, sir, is Colonel Gerombus De Highfamden sic Transit Gloria Munday Pass Grand Generalissimo of the Know Nothings or- der of E'Pluribus Unum. [Strikes Jake."] Jake. Oh! Sheriff. Now, sir, yours. [Strikes Jake.] Jake. Wait till I get my breath. Robert. He does'nt want your breath, he wants your papers. Jake. I have'nt got neither. Sheriff. Come sir. [Drawing pistols.] Jake. Don't, I'm nervous — put up that barker, do. There [Gives piece of cracker] Oh! excuse me. There, that's it. [Gives paper.] Sheriff. Watch Jake. [Snatches paper.] Excuse me, I'm a little short sighted. That's a ticket for a watch I loaned my uncle. That's the one. [Gives paper.] Sheriff. Dear Augustus 20 ROBERT ^AKE-AIRS. Jake. [Snatching paper.] A little billy doo from Jane Ann Pinkroot, the gal what sticks t c my gizzard. Sheriff. Come, I'm in a hurry. KOBERT. Give him your papers. Jake. How can I, when I can't read which one it is ? Robert. That's one. Jake. There, I think you'll find that all rig-ht. Sheriff. You are called Jake. — Yes, always before break fast; Sheriff. No, no ; but your name. Jake. Well, if it comes to that — what's your name ? Sheriff. Oh, pshaw ! Jake. Shaw. How d'ye do, Shaw ? How's Mrs. Shaw and all the little Shaws. Sheriff. No, no ; your name,sir, quick. Robert. [Interrupting.] Excuse me, but you see my friend here is rather bashful. Sheriff. Bat how shall I find out his name ? Robert. Oh, enquire at Hall, he's not unknown to fame. Sheriff. All right. ROBERT MAKE-AIR3. 21 EOBERT. Then I suppose we can go ? Sheriff. Wait a moment. Will some one call the old woman, I want to piestion her, [They fetch Mary from house.] Mary. Who is calls on this poor old soul ? Eobert. My wife, Mary ! Mary. My husband, Robert Make-airs. All. Rabert Make-airs ! ! Robert. •My wife ! Mary. My love ! Robert. My life ! Mary. My dove ! Robert. Come to my arms, aha! [The y Embrace] Baby — baby — don't you know your daddy? Jake. B bie — babie — don't you know your uncle? [Bob strikes him?[ Sheriff. Soldiers, seiz3 'em. [Soldiers seize Bob aai Jake anl put Ivvai- cuffs on them.] Citizens, now you behold before you the notorious Ro- bert Make-airs and Jake Strike. I have a warrant for their arrest, so all good p^op^e take warning 1 . Robert. All subterfuge now is useless. I am Robert Make airs ! Jake. All vermifuge is usr-fnl. I am Hip other feller ! 22 robert make-airs. {Sheriff. Away with 'em to the Bastile and give 'em 39. Charley. [On bridge.] Hold J The inquest on the pigs and poultry prove dat dey are all alive and kickiug, and if de fugitives will return to their kind old massa, all will be forgotten and forgiven. All. Hoorah ! [Robert embraces Mary — Jake embraces the Sheriff.] Chorus. Hail ! all hail this happy day ! &c, &c, &c. CONTAINING A FUNNY .COLLECTION OF ROUGH AND READY JESTS, jg$iD®ifls§ mm ©sib aktrflffl®^;! SB BY SAM, THE FAT BOY o* ARKANSAW. WITH SIXTY ILLUSTRATIONS. 1 Wanted a stout active Boy." NEW YORK: PUBLISHED BY FREDERIC A. BRADY 126 NASSAU STREET. b&/#3r\ MJ& 7(\p& wt ?f\^fs .¥J¥s ¥v¥ vJV\ YJ£.*J*\ ¥^Y S ILLUSTRATED. • ; : CHARLEY FOX'S f BIJOU SONGSTER. - -— - . ; _ . : i t : - C:~.: Zz\. :k: VBXDESIC A- BHADY, PUBLISH!*. BIBIB -V ^ Published. — Charier Tox'n Ethiopian Soogs 1 x 2. "Sihiontaa J . - & 3. •* " /2f %o ^^r ^r\ NEW-YORK FREDERIC AyjfB R A D Y ( Pl - HOUSEHOLD ^OSDS,) XO. 126 NASSAU-STREET, ** ie * 13 Gents. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13 CTS. < **+■**■****«*''******■**•***!■* ************* " j mlx »)>»»•, ,«m GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK, ISTo. 3. -«^»*— ►♦. » ~ $t*to-g0rk: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER, 126 NASSAU ST. t TTF' V TT ? f W '? f f t f t yi t » t T l f 'f l Just Publisned.— Charley Pox's Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 cents, Charley Fox's Bijou Songster, " M w George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No, 2, « " " " Look at that candle P BOX AND OOX. NO II. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. BOX AND COX. Jtt One %zt. AFRICANIZED EXPRESSLY FOR GEORGE CHRISTY, BY Ee BYRON CHRISTY, ESQ. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARAC- TER, RELATIVE POSITIONS, miU*Miini>niunii * p Hj O x' o a f 5 O CD |1. »— i o" 3 P s o — s DQ ^"S CO ~§ p"" r»- p IS- CD 3. o 9 ^g 2. B- E?l o 3 ^ 22. © St "8 O €-, P P (72 5-N' COQQ S" & Q SS =« 3, — O O - p 2 "1 £~ o S - P 2» -s o 3 cr 3 ?r *J "* o c g ft % I ~ p £ — — 3 M ^ a* g - g to 3 ' r c: • p CD aa O T— ^ <" CD DKJ O ,_ 3 3 So 5 H P 02 3 if 1^ o S o ^3 Entered according to A rt of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clerk's Office of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State of New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled u An Act to amend the several acts respecting CopyrigM, hi approved February third, eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States cf America in Congress assembled, That any copyright bereafter granted under the of the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic composition, fly .-? THE END. / 14 Mav 1859 PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13 CTS. <■««(((( > CHAKLEY FOX'S ETHIOPIAN SONGSTER, $tefo-g0rfi: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER 126 NASSAU ST. f f tfMT t fyrf f Tf?Tt f f»tff ff! T I In. Press. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents* George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " " H George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, N$ Ik II rP # ^* UNITED STATES MAIL. ACT I. Scene 1. — Plain chamber — Door in flat, left hand — Common table and tivo chairs in centre — carpet bag on table. [Mrs. Nipper discovered at the table.] Mrs. Nipper. There, I think I shall go to the store and get me some little ex- tras. I expect company this evening, and I have scarcely time now to fix anything for the table. [Clock strikes eight.'] I declare it's eight o'clock already. I wonder where that Lucy is, [calling aloud] Lucy ! Lucy ! [Seats herself at table and empties bag, preparing to go out.] Lucy. [Answering from outside.] Yes, mother ; yes, mother, coming. Mrs. Nipper. Oh, I'm so sorry that Mr. Wagner can't be with us this evening — he's such a nice lively fellow. Lucy. Oh 5 yes, mother, he's a splendid young man,and he promised to write to me and inform me when he would come down. But even if he should write, there is no knowing when a body would get the letter, as there is no regularity with the carriers now they are all such a stupid set of black apes. UNITED STATES MAIL.. Mrs. Nipper. Now, Lucy ; go down stairs, see to the things, and mind that all is prepared, and if any of the music comes, keep them playing out- side, as it will prove verv attractive and make people talk about it. [Exit R. H.] Lucy. [Moving about very lively.] Yes, mar'm ; I'll go at once, and [talking to the audience,] if my dear Wagner should only happen to come, I wouldn't care if all the rest of the company would starve to death. [Exit, l. h.] Scene 2d. — Song. Lucy. Now if I could only send a letter to my dear Wagner, and get an answer in time ; I am sure I should feel a great deal easier than I do now. Ah, me ; it seems so strange he didn't let me know before this, and here I've been waiting and waiting this live long day anx- iously expecting a letter. However, I won't give up yet, for who knows but one of them stupid black letter carriers might appear the next moment. [Sits down at the table again sewing and singing.\ [Knocking heard outside.] Post Office Sam. Hallo ! hallo, there ! I say missus, open de door — open de door. Lucy. [Stopping work and looking at the door.] Who's there ? Post Office Sam. It's me — it's me. Well, who is me ? Lucy. Post Office Sam. Why, it's me ; de Post Office. Lucy. I wonder who it is ; I'll go and see. [Lucy opens door and retires to left corner of stage, not noticing Post Office Sam.] UNITED STATES MAIL. 9 Post Office Sam, [Enters] I, golly ; what a nice young lady. Lucy. [ Turning round and noticing Post Office Sam.] Well, sir ; what do you want? Post Office Sam. I'se got a letter for your missus. Lucy. [Overjoyed.] A letter for me ? Post Office Sam. Yes, missus — yes, indeed. Lucy. [Aside.] Oh, thanks — from my dear Wagner. Post Office Sam. No, missus ; I didn't bring it in a waggon, Lucy. Well, sir ; give me my letter. Post Office Sam. [Getting down on his knees looking for the letter.] Yes, missus ; hold on till I find 'em. I, golly ; now if dat lady couldn't read, wouldn't I be in a nice fix. Lucy. [Very impatient.] Dear, me ; I don't believe the fellow can read. Why, sir ; you are opening those letters. Don't you know you have no right to do that? Post Office Sam. Oh, yes, missus ; I always do dat, kase dat's de way I get de pos- tage. Lucy. What kept you so long, the mail's can't be very regular. Post Office Sam. Yes, missus ; de mails am very unregular. Some ob 'em stays out all night. 10 UNITED STATES MAIL. Lucy. Dear, me } I'm quite out of patience. Haven't you found my let- ter yet ? Post Office Sam. Well, I can't tell toder from which. I'll mix 'em all up togeder and let her pick, one is just as good as de toder, kase dar ain't noffin' in any ob em. [Post Office Sam gets up, presents whole bundle — she picks one out] I Lucy. , This is my letter, you stupid goose. Post Office Sam. I, golly ; dat was bery lucky she pick de right one. I just listen and see what's goin' on ; ma'by I have a chance to make something [Lucy reads letter. Post Office Sam listens to contents of letter.'] Lucy. [Written letter.'] " Dear Lucy : — You may expect me under your window this even- ing at half-past eleven, with a party of friends, to give you, as the darkies say, a grand Slamanade. [Side speech by Post Office Sam.] Yes, an' I'll be dar to slam 'em in de head wid a large brick. « Lucy, be careful and wrap yourself up warm, and not expose your delicate form to the rude blasts and circumserucious effects of the night air. " Your's in haste, Wagner." [Lucy folds up the letter — places it in her pocket or bosom — turns and speaks to Post Office Sam.] Well, sir ; you can go. Post Office Sam. Yes, mam. You mean go out. Lucy. Yes, sir ; right out de same way you come in. Post Office Sam. Yes ; right out from de same door, den turn and — Lucy Yes, sir — yes, sir — that's the way. UNITED STATES MAIL, H Post Office Sam. [Coming back.] Well, I ain't a going. Lucy.. • What, sir? Post Office Sam. [Putting out his hand.] Lucy. [Pointing.] What do you mean by that, sir ? Post Office Sam. Come, come, missus ; don't be so ignamus. You know what I mean, I want de postage. Lucy. [A little astonished.] Oh ! Ah — yes, the postage, How much is it, sir? Post Office Sam. Free shilling, mam. Lucy. La, me ! three shillings. Why, how far did you briug it ? Post Office Sam. Oh, I brought it furder dan dat. Lucy. You impudent scoundrel. I shan't pay you one cent. Post Office Sam. What ! You want to rob de mail ? [Noise outside representing a Band of Musicians, talking, tuning &c, or just about begining to play. Post Office Sam and Lucy in great fright, for fear of being discovered.] Lucy. Dear me; what shall I do. Oh, my ; to be discovered here with this horrid black man. I shall be ruined. Post Office Sam. [Frightened.] Who's dat, missus ? Lucy. That's a party of my friends, and if they catch you here, they will murder you. Post Office Sam. What murder de United States' Mail ? 12 UNITED STATES MAIL. Lucy. Oh, you.black rascal, why didn't you go out when I told you. Post Office Sam. Kase, missus ; Fse like a candle. I neber go out till I'm put out — blow'd out, or burnt out. Lucy. Be quiet, you black devil. I have it. Post Office Sam. Well, I'm glad ob it ; I've waited long enough. Lucy. [Bringing a long white bag.~] Here, you black rascal, get in this. Post Office Sam. What's dat ? Lucy. Why, that's a bag, and I want you to get in it. Post Office Sam. Me get in dat bag — what me ? I, golly, missus : you can't bag me. No, no ; indeed you ain't a going to spoil my nice clothes, no how. Lucy. Now do, Mr. Post Office ; do let me persuade you. Post Office Sam. Missus, I'll get in dat bag on one sideration. Luoy. Well, what's that? Post Office Sam. Why, if you gib me something to eat and pays me de postage, I'll get in de bag. Lucy. Yery well, very well ; Fli do anything. Post Office Sam. [Speaking aside.] Now, who knows but I might make something by dis. Dar's one thing certain ; if I do get in dat bag, I'll have a chance to find out who her beau is. Besides, I'll just lay my cap down dar, and when he come in, he'll get jealous ob course, and dat will make a muss be- tween 'em. UNITED STATES MAIL. 13 [Notse heard outside by the 7nusic] Lucy. Come, come, sir ; hurry. Post Office Sam. Hold de bag open. [She holds the bag — he tries to get in. She goes to the door and on her return finds he is not in the bag, Lucy. Oh, you stupid fool, you are not in the bag. [Lucy takes the bag and gives him a push.] Here, sir, be quick ; hurry, oh dear. [Great scrab- ble with the bag, he tries to get in it*] Post Office Sam. Hold de bag open, missus. Dar, I got one leg in. I say, missus ; put my coat tail in. Dar, dat's right. Lucy. There now — remain quiet, that's a good fellow. [Lucy tries to shove Ids head down in the bag, and he works it out again, which business is repeated three or four times.] There, that was a very lucky idea of mine, and now, if he remains quiet, all will be right. [Music plays some waltz or polka from the wing.] Enter Wagner, r. h. There, gentleman ; that will do, you can now retire, and I will set- tle with you all in the morning. Ah, my dear Lucy ; I am glad to see you. Lucy. What detained you so long ? I began to think yoia was not com- ing. Wagner. Well, I had some little business with a friend of mine, and talked a little over my time. But why didn't you open the door on my ar- rival. Lucy. I was arranging my toilet. Wagner. [Aside.] Toilet? 14 UNITED STATES MAIL. Lucy. [Aside.] Now for a little quarrel. Look here, I've got a bone to pick witl you. Wagner. [Astonished.] A bone to pick with me ? Lucy. Yes, a bone to pick with you. Wagner. Well, I'm glad of it, I feel very hungry, Is it a ham bone, or a bone of a turkey. Lucy. Oh, you need not joke about the matter. I want to know who that lady was that I saw you promenading with, last Friday after- noon. Wagner. Me, me ; Lucy ? Lucy. Yes, sir — you. Wagner. What day was it ? Lucy. Last Friday afternoon. Wagner. Now, Lucy, I know you must be mistaken ; for last Friday I went a fishing. Lucy. I've no doubt of it, sir. Wagner. Look here, Lucy : since it has come to that, I've got a bone to pick with you too. Lucy. Well, sir ; what have you got to say about me ? Post Office Sam. Dat's right, gib her fits ; it sarbs her right for not paying me for de letter. I golly, I wouldn't care if he was to kill her. UNITED STATES MAIL. 15 Wagner. I should like you to inform me who that nice looking tall gentle- man was that I saw you get out of an omnibus with yesterday ; and after seeing you to the sidewalk, you took his arm very handsomely, then you both strutted gracefully along together up Broadway — ha ! ha ! how is that, Lucy ; eh ? [Side speech.] I think that will kind a a settle the hash. Lucy. You mean that tall gentleman ? Wagner. Yes, I mean that tall gentleman. Post Office Sam. Oh, that must have been me. [Raising the bag as high as possible.] Lucy. Now, dear Wagner, don't be angry and I'll tell you the truth. Wagner, [In a pretended passion.] Well then, out with it, for I want to know my rival. Lucy. That was Mr. Banks, my French dancing master. Wagner. Mr. Banks, eh ? — your French dancing master — hem ! Post Office Sam. He'll get Banks. Down de banks, I tink. Wagner. Your French dancing master, was it ? Then you've been practising dancing, have you ? Lucy. Oh, yes ; and I am improving remarkably. Wagner. Well, Lucy ; I should like you to show me some steps in dancing as I am quite a novice in that fashionable exercise, Lucy. Well, I have no objection. What style of dancing do you most admire ? 16 UNITED STATES MAIL. Wagner. Do you know anything about the Scbottishe, fancy style — Hops, o, Kauchowker ? Post Office Sam. My gracious, he wants her to dance till it chokes her. Lucy. Oh, yes ; I can dance most anything in that line. Wagner. Well, I ain't particular, most anything will suit. [Lucy dances — Orchestra plays the trial dance in La Bayadere, the first part twice over. Wagner stops her by calling aloud.] Hold up ! — hold up ! That kind of dancing don't exactly suit my taste. I admire something in the old Virginia line. Post Office Sam. [Side speech.] I hope dey won't play dat ; kase if dey does, I neber can keep still, and dat will spoil ebery ting. Lucy. Well, I can dance that too. [Orchestra plays a Negro Jig or Reel.] [Wagner looks on delighted through a quizzing-glass.] [Post Office Sam begins to dance in the bag.] [Wagner startled at this affair.] [Lucy pretending to be amazed.] [Post Office Sam trembles in the bag.] Wagner. [Enraged.] What's that, Lucy— what's that ? Lucy. [ Confounded and stammering] Th — th — th — tha — that's a bag of taters, my dear. Wagner. [Seeming to know the joke] A what ? — what did you say ? Lucy. A bag of taters. [Wagner approaches the bag on tip-toe, and lays both hands on top.] Wagner. A bag of taters ! I say, Lucy, if you call this a bag of taters, I'll UNITED STATES MAIL. 17 be d — d if that ain't the biggest tater I ever saw. It's no matter tho', go on with the dance. I'll keep my eye on the tater3. [Lucy dances same tune again.'] [Post Office Sam dances in the bag again.] Wagner* [Cries aloud.] Stop I stop ! — Hold up — hold up, I say. Now look here, Lucy ; I have no objection to your dancing, and have no objection to dance with you ; but I don't want that d — d bag of taters to join in the chorus. [He approaches the bag and turns it topsij-turvy. — Lucy en- treats him to withold, but all to no effect] Wagner. I'll just see if I can't peel these taters. [Wagner takes hold of the bag by the feet and tries to get it off.] [Post Office Sam discovered. — Picture all three.] Wagner. Lucy, this must be a Carolina potatoe. Post Office Sam. I'm a damaged tater. [Business.] Pull it off-— pull it off. Here's a nice muss for de Post Office. [Wagner pulls off the bag and keeps it] De mails upset, ah ! ha ! — dey seen who I was an' got skeered. Now, let me see, [looking at watch,] I've just got time to 'liver dem oder letters. But afore I go, I'll just hide away, and when dey go out I'll steal all de spoons, an' dat will just pay me for de postage an* de trouble. [Gets up on tip-toe — discovers Wagner who throws the bag at him. Sham fight — finally both shake hands in the midst of the bustle.] Wagner. Who are you ?. Who is you ? I'm — I'm — So be I. Post Office Sam. Wagner. Post Office Sam 18 UNITED STATES MAIL. Wagner What's your name ? Post Office Sam. My name is — Wagner. Come, sir, out with it. Post Office Sam. No, sir ; dat ain't my name, Wagner. Well, sir ; what the devil do you want here ? Post Office Sam. What de debil does you want here ? Lucy. Now, don't be angry, my dear, and I'll explain it all. Post Office Sam I, golly ; I got de bag, an' Fse a gwine to keep it. Now, if I could only get out ob de house wid it. [Rolls up the bag and stuffs it up t/ie back of his coat.] Lucy. You see, according to your letter, you promised to give me a nice serenade. Well, this fellow delivered me the letter, and as I had no change to pay the postage, he refused to leave the house. Consequent- ly, hearing the company at the door, I thought myself in rather a pe- culiar predicament, and was so confused, that I hardly knew what to do ; and to save all further trouble, I insisted on his getting into that bag, and remaining perfectly quiet until a good opportunity offered for his escape. Post Office Sam. Dat's a fac', massa ; dat's a fac'. Wagner. Well, Lucy ; I believe you, and since the thing is so clearly ex- plained, I'll forget it all. I say, you black devil, there's my hand. [They shake hands.] Post Office Sam. Oh, yes ; I handle more dirt dan dat ebery day. UNITED STATES MAIL. 19 Wagner What do you mean by that, sir, eh ? Post Office Sam. Oh, nuffin' — nuffin'. Wagner. I say, wnat's that large lump on your shoulder, there ? Post Office Sam. Don't — don't — don't trouble dat. Lucy. La, me ; what is it ? Post Office Sam. Why, dat's a corn. Lucy and Wagner. [Both astonished.} My gracious ! what a place for a corn. Wagner. Look here, Lucy ; suppose we make it all right again, and have a little dance just to ourselves, right here, before we admit the company. What say you, eh ? — and you, you picture of ebony, wouldn't you like to dance too ? Post Office Sam. Oh, yes ; I'll dance if missus dar will dance wid me fust. [Lucy bows consent] [All arrange to dance a straight reel — all reel off, and in beginning to dance, Lucy turns and dances to Wagner. Post Office Sam puts his head in between them to ask an explanation, when Wagner pushes him away. Post Office Sam pantomimes vengeance, and goes to the table — gets hand full of flour, throws it in the face o/Lucy who screams and faints. Wagner tries to secure her from falling — she backs up the stage holding on Wagner's coat-collar. Wagner's back is to the au- dience — Post Office Sam seizes him by the coat-tails and jerks one off which discovers a large pecidiar red patch. Post Office Sam laughs heartily, pointing at the same time at Wagner, who is in a great flurry with Lucy, &c. Curtain Falls. THE END PRICE 1 2 \ GENTS. yp^-^r- LBTTMRTMG MADE EASY. SHOWING PLAINLY How to Write Letters upon Almost GIVING NUMEROUS Examples of Model JLetfers UPON LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, BUSINESS, AND LEGAL AFFAIRS ; SO THAT THE MOST ILLITERATE MAY EASILY LEARN HOW TO COMPOSE AN EFFECTIVE AND CORRECT EPISTLE. NEW YORK: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 Nassau Street. -v^s^fl - vi~w-.'evw:jfc3 New, Complete, Useful, and Cheap. LETTER WRITING MADE EASY, SHOWING PLAINLY How to Compose Letters upon almost every Subject. AND GIVING NUMEROUS EXAMPLES OP MODEL STYLES FOR Letters on Love, Friendship, Business, Legal Affairs, &c, &c. So that the most illiterate may easily learn to write an effective and correct epistle. EST Copies sent 3 postage free, on receipt of 13 cents. F. A. BEADY, Publisher of "Dickens' Household Words" 126 Nassau Street. how TO COOK HOW TO CAEVE, GIVING PLAIN, PKAOTICAL & EASILY UNDERSTOOD DIRECTIONS FOR PREPARING & COOKING, WITH THE GREATEST ECONOMY, Every kind of Dish from the simDlest to the most difficult, ALSO, SHOWING- HOW TO PRESERVE EVERY DESCRIPTION OP "V^EOET-A-IBILZe Sc FRUIT, IN THE BEST, CHEAPEST, AND MOST PALATABLE STYLE. Price, 25 Cents. Published by FBED. A. BRADY, 126 Nassau Street. ' Single Copies sent on receipt of price. HOME TRUTHS FOR Youisra vrimm UPON THE MANAGEMENT OF PARTIES, MAERIAGES, CHRISTENING AND FUNERALS. — also — HOW TO PEEP ARE FOE AND GO UPON A WEDDING TGUE, HOW TO TAKE, FURNISH, AND MANAGE A HOUSE. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BPvADY, Publisher, 128 Nassau St., N. Y. THE PASTEY COOK'S AND CONFECTIONER'S ASSISTANT. Containing the most approved and choice directions for making i all manner of PASTRY, PATTIES, TARTS, PIES, PUDDINGS, JELLIES, J3IuJ±ZlC-JSTAJX&JBl& JLNT) CREAMS. Showing how to make BRIDE CAKES, SAVOY, SPONGE, ALMOND KATAFIA, AND KOUT CAKES,* MACAROONS, ROCK, AND OTHER BISCUITS, BIMS, BATHBMS, AKD TEA CAKES. The best methods of Preserving Fruit, the Art of Sugar Boiling, Making Lozenges, Drops, Pipe, Barley-Sugar, Twist, Carraway Comfits, &c, &c. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BEADY, Publisher, 3.26 Nassau Street, N. Y. HOUSEHOLD WORDS. CONDUCTED BY CHARLES DICKENS, Author of "Pickwick Papers" " Nicholas Nickleby" "Dombey and Son" etc. Republished Monthly by the Subscriber from advance sheets, under sanction of the London Publishers, and by special arrangement with them. Each monthly num- ber contains TALES, STOKIES AND OTHEK, ARTICLES, BY CHARLES DICKENS, WILLIAM IIOWITT, LEIGH HUNT, BARRY CORNWALL WILKIE COLLINS, MRS. GASKELL, ETC., ETC. Thus rendering it by far the most interesting, varied, and decidedly the BEST LITERARY PERIODICAL IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. No work of the kind contributes so successfully and so much to the floating literature of the day ; its sharp, crisp, genial articles, and its admirable stories are more extensively copied by contemporary publications than those of any other work whatsoever. ^b »* <* Q* *^ a» te:r,:m:s = 25 Cesifs per TCiranfcer; ^$,®@ per Annum. TERMS TO CLUBS: Two Copies far one Year $ 5 00 Five " " « 10 00 Eleven" " " 30 00 Clergymen and Teachers supplied at Two Dollars a year. k- -#• — m SETS OF HOUSEHOLD WOEDS, 18 VOLUMES, Can now be had, Bound in Cloth, at 81 75 per Volume. Back Numbers of Household Words can be furnished at the Office of Publication, Price, 25 Cents each. EST All persons subscribing to Household Words through any Association or Bookseller,, must look to them for their supply of the work. Address, FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 Nassau Street, N. Y. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13CTS. :@ ^^p» CHARLEY FOX'S ETHIOPIAN SONGSTER FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 NASSAU ST. In Press. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " " " George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " w *| BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE PUBLISHER OF THE ABOVE SERIES OF POPULAR PLAYS, DRAMAS, BURLESQUES, FAUCES, ETC., Which have been so exceedingly attractive wherever performed— an- nounces that the following works are nearly ready, and can be obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealers in the United States and the British Provinces: NO. I.— ROBERT MAKE-AIRS, with a Characteristic Illustration. II.— BOX AND COX, irr. — mazeppa, " " IV.— UNITED STATES MAIL, " " V.— THE COOPERS, " " VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, " VIL-THE RIVAL LOVERS, " " VllL— THE SHAM DOCTOR. " " IX.— THE BLACK DOCTOR, " ' " X.— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " " XL— THE VIRGINNY CUPIDS, »■ " XII.— THE WRECK, " u XIII.— THE MAGIC PENNY, u " XIV.— HOP OE FASHION, " « XV. -MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, " " XVL— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVII.— UNCLE JEFF, " " XVIIL— WILLIKENS AND HIS DINAH, " " XIX.— THE MYSTIC SPELL, " " XX.— THE JOLLY MILLERS, " Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Air. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's su- pervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of -the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dra- mas are specially adapted for Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CESTS EACH : 10 COPIES FOR $1. All Orders promptly- attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER AND PROPRIETOR OF TH3 OPYRIGHTS, NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET, NEW- YORK. f3^ NEW-YORK FREDERIC A. BRADY (PUBLISHER OF CHARLES DICKENS^ HOUSEHOLD WORDS,) NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET. Price 13 Cents. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13 CTS. »)»>»• "<«(« GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK. No. 2. FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER, 126 NASSAU ST. I M t yT» T TT f MT f TT»t T * Just Published.— Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " Nebber mind ; 1*11 soon be out ob my time / The Coopers. NO. V BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA, THE COOPERS. % Jftee* IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE. WRITTEN AND ARRANGED BY O. WHITE. TIME OF PLAYING, THIRTY MINUTES. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OP CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, MZ^^ifc^* < • • » » NEW-YORK: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER OF DICKENS' "HOUSEHOLD WORDS.' 126 Nassau Street. Entered according to A tt of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clark's Office of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State oi New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled u An Act to amend the several acts respecting Copyright," approved February third, eighteen hundred and thirty-one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws of the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic composition, de- signed or suited for puhlic representation, shall be deemed and taken to confer upon tbe said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, along with the sole right to print and publish the said composition, the sole right also to act, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public place during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor , or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva lent remedy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages iu all cases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the first, and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- nizance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein enacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by any manager, actor, or other person, previous to the securing of the copyright for the said composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process in equity in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August 18, 1856. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. £3 ^ <-T l—i H CD +3 ~ -~ > "55 'p £ § £3 "S i^ S t-^ 2 M 5 © ^ O P§ |> 'X ^ CM O a) o » &q °3 co ^3 J-H O a-, O^^ CD 3 ! a* O j^j 4-a . P-, "S &J0 M 2 js o«d rg CO- ^ CD 53 'C 1 a^-g bo S M 5P © ao ^ ©'"£ ^9 jg a f 1 '■«$ -a J 1 A 34d ,2 drrj ffl rJO U CJ ^ lt fe a and utte d-sa and 's^S^ J"j ti— 1 i-H CD ri O-fl CD Sj» | -g 8)2 |§ IS ..- 3 '-a j bop,fe ^ £ ACT 1. Scene 1. — Wood— Landscape — Background, with bridge , if necessary — Cottage on the right — large barrel down stage, near cottage — small tub opposite — Pete at work on the barrel — Caleb at work on the tub. Pete Dundrum. [Driving down hoops, with Music] "Well, now ; I can't see how it is why the boss makes me work on all the heavy stuff, while Caleb is kept to work on them small tubs. I'm sure it can't be because he ain't able, or because he ain't as big as me ; and even if he was, it wouldn't be much of an excuse either, for he eats just as much as I do, and takes up just as much room in the bed. Never mind, I'll soon be out of my time. [Begins to drive down hoops on his barrel — he strikes his finger with his adze, which makes him drop his tools and holler out,] Caleb ! Cale ! Oh, my — look there ! [Putting fa's hand behind him and shoiving his finger.] Caleb. Places Pete's finger in his mouth ; as soon as he lets go, Pete gives him a back-hander, which knocks Cale in his tub. Cale pretends to fall on a nail.] Pete. [Laughs.] Ah ! ha ! I'm glad of it. Oh, Cale ; here comes the boss. 8 THE COOPERS. [ They both commence their work with good earnest] Enter Old Slopey, with some tools in his hand. Well, boys ; what's all this noise about, eh ? I heard you a quar- ter of a mile. [ The boys work on without paying any attention] I say you Pete ; what's been going on here ? Come, out with it ? Pete. Well, boss ; I'll tell you how it is. I was driving down the hoops oo this hogshead, and I struck the wrong nail, but Cale there, he struck the right one, didn't you? Cale. [Shows signs of anger and displeasure] Slopey. Well, now boys ; I don't want to hear any quarreling, and let this be the end of it. Now, then, go in and get your breakfast, [Cale and Pete both jump and scramble in the house to get their breakfast.] Ah, them boys ; they are always quarreling. Let me see, I must go down to the grocery and get in some provisions, or else I shan't have anything in the house for breakfast. My gracious ! how the boys does eat ! Here, Lizzy, [calling] Lizzy. Enter Lizzy. Well, father ; what is it ? Did you call me ? Slopey. Yes, my child ; get me the basket, I must go and get some groce- ries in. [Lizzy goes in and gets the basket for her father] Now, then, my dear ; I don't feel very well, besides, I have been pretty hard to work. Now, suppose you go to the grocery for me. Do now, there that's a good girl. [She starts off on the mission — old Slopey enters cottage] Enter Jacobi singing, ivith a small bundle on his shoulder. Hallo ! here comes some one, and as near as I can judge, it's a fe- male. I'll just step on one side, and take observations. [Exits in the wing] Enter Lizzy, with basket. Jacobi, comes from the wing. Ah, my dear Lizzy : it's you, is it ? THE COOPERS. Lizzy. What, Jacobi ! [ They embrace each other in joy.] [Cale sneezes in the wing ivhic/i frightens Jacobi, and he runs off in the wing. Cough heard within.] Enter Slopey. Well, my dear ; have you got ail I sent you for ? Lizzy. Yes, father. [ They both fuss over the basket.] Caleb. [Steals in behind them and takes a piece of Bologna out of the basket and runs off.] Slopey. Now, my child ; go in the house, I'll be there in a few minutes. [Exit Lizzy. Enter Jacobi, from the wing. How do you do, sir ? Slopey. Pretty well, sir, I thank you ; and pray wno are you that asks the question, eh ? Jacobi. I'm a young man in want of work, and I heard you done a very lively trade, and therefore applied to you, to see if you can't engage me. Slopey. Well, have you ever worked at the coopering business ? Jacobi. Oh, yes, sir. I can hook a sling with anybody. [Side speech.[ Gin sling. Slopey. You can do what, sir ? Jacobi. Hook a sling with anybody. Slopey. You mean, you can sling a hoop with anybody ? 10 THE COOPERS. Jacobi. Yes, sir ; I suppose it's one and the same thing Slopey. Wall, my dear sir ; if you can do as you say, I've no doubt but what you will suit me, and perhaps I'll set you to work. However, if you come in the morning, I will tell you decidedly, and likely make some arrangement. Jacobi. What lime shall I call, sir ? Slopey. Come about eight o'clock, [Exit old man. Jacobi bows and scrapes to old Slopey as he leaves.] Enter Lizzy. Jacobi. [Tells her of his success.] Well, my dear ; I've been lucky enough to palm myself off on your dad, and to-morrow morning I think he will set me to work at coop- ering, and a pretty mess I'll make of it, too ; for I assure you, I don't know the first thing about it. Lizzy. Never mind, perhaps you can learn as well as any body else. [Talk. ing heard inside. ,] Hallo ! there's some one coming — it's no use to run* Here, I have it ; hide away under this barrel for a few minutes, I'll keep a look-out for you, and let you know when the coast is clear. [She helps to hide him under barrel. Exits.] Enter Slopey and two boys. Slopey. Now, Cale, be lively to-day, and Pete, see that you get along as usual, and don't let me come back and catch you idling away your time. [Exit in house.] Pete. [Leans against the barrel. Jacobi puts Jus hand through the bung- hole and pulls Pete's trousers — Pete looks about to learn the cause — sees notlting, and accuses Cale of the trick. He gets near the barrel again, and Jacobi pulls again. Pete runs in the house, gets candle, and o;oes to the bung-hole with it. Jacobi blows it out — Pete then looks THE COOPERS. 11 in the barrel, when Jacobi takes hold of Pete's nose and pulls it, after which Pete calls out for Slopey.] Enter Slopey. Well, well ; what's the matter now ? Slopey. Oh, Mr. Slopey ; there is something in that barrel. It's a ghost, I know it is. Slopey. "Well, I'l! soon find out what it is, go in the house and get my pis- tol. [Exit Pete for pistol — returns. Slopey takes pistol, shoots direct- ly at the bung-hole. During this time Jacobi has been lowered down the trap. They turn the barrel over, and find nothing but a piece of rag a smoking.] Pete. [Picking up the rag.] My gracious ! you've shot him all away but his shirt collar. Slopey. Oh, you scoundrel ; it's all gammon — I don't believe there was any- thing at all in the barrel. Now, then, go to work, and don't let me hear of any more such nonsense. [Exits. During this time the trap has got Jacobi under the barrel again.] Caleb. [Discovered eating a piece of pudding. Pete. [Gets a piece — goes and sits on the barrel to eat it. Jacobi upsets tits barrel — Pete falls off, and runs about frightened. Jacobi keeps within the barrel, and runs about with it on his head — then gets it over Pete's head, pushes him down by the cottage-door, and elopes with Lucy.] Slopey. [Comes running out — tumbles over the barrel.] What the devil are you about now, eh ? Get up ; Cale, who is it in the barrel? Caleb. [Makes signs of ignorance] Slopey. Now, boys ; you may make up your mind that I shall stand no more humbugging, and if I ever see any more of such capers, I'll take 12 THE COOPERS. very good pains and start you both. Now, then ; do you hear that, eh ? [Exits. Caleb rolls off the barrel and exits also.] Enter Workman. I say, sir ; is you the man what keeps this shop ? . Pete. Yes, sir ; I'm the man that cleans the shop. What do you want eh? Workman. Well, sir ; I'm a poor mechanic, looking for work, Pete. Well, sir ; what's that to me ? Workman. Are you the boss ? I'm a cooper; and I want something to do. Pete. Well, black my boots ; will you ? Workman. No, sir ; I don't black boots, I make barrels. Pete. Say, young man ; if you're a cooper, probably I may use you. Have you got any money ? Workman. Yes, sir ; I've got two dollars, and that's every cent I'm worth in the world. Pete. Well, give it to me, and I'll give you something to do. Workman. [Gets out his money and gives it.] Say, you're the boss, ain't you ? Pete. Yes, I'm the boss ; that is, I'm the boss's man — I mean boss of the shop. You come around in the morning, about eight o'clock, and I'll talk to you till about nine, and I guess you'll find out what to do about ten. [Exit.] Workman. [Is about leaving rather reluctantly, but finally goes to the cottage to get more satisfaction, and raps hard at the door. The old man enters and receives a blow from the workman on Ms head. THE COOPERS. 13 Slopet. Hallo ! sir : what do you mean by making such a racket at my door, eh ? and how dare you strike me in such a manner ? Workman. Are you the boss-cooper, sir, that keeps this shop ? Slopey. Yes, sir ; I believe I am the boss of my shop. And now, sir ; why do you ask that question ? Workman. Well, you see I just give a fellow two dollars, and he promised to set me to work ; he said he was the boss, and he went in there-, and I don't want to lose my money in that way. Slopey. [Side speech^] Ah, I see how it is ; that Pete has had hold of this fellow, and talk- ed him out of two dollars. Workman. Say, sir ; what am I to do about my two dollars ? Slopey. What are you to do 1 Why, go to the devil. I know nothing about you or your money. Come, be off, and quick, too, or I'll have you — Workman. I want my two dollars. Slopey. [Pushing him off.] Oh, the devil take you and your two dollars. [Great haranguing between them. The old man gets him off and exits in the cottage.] Ah ! that infernal boy. Enter Pete. Well, well ; I come it over that fellow very nice. Two dollars ! That's just enough to get my boots — how very lucky. I wish I could come across another one like him. Workman. [Treads in lightly behind him — taps him on the shoulder.] Say, give me my two dollars. You ain't the boss. Pete. Who says so, eh ? 14 THE COOPERS. Workman. Why, that old man thai lives in there. Pete. What that old stout fellow with the grey head ? Workman. Yes, he's the boss, for he said so. Pete. Oh, nonsense ; that old feller carries out shavings for us, he ain't nobody. Why, I should think you could easy tell the difference. [Moves- up towards the cottage.] Workman. [Follows and catches hold of Pete.] Say, I must have that two dollars, or you and me must have a fight — that's all. Pete, [ Takes up a hand-saw laying by the door and strikes the workman, which knocks him down. Workman lays motionless as if hurt or dead. Pete very much frightened, gets his senses.] Oh, dear me, what have I done — killed the man ! Oh, my ! I say Caleb, [calling,] Cale. Enter Caleb, much excited. Pete. Say, Cale ; help me. Quick, oh, dear ! I'm afraid I've killed this fellow. We got a fighting, and I struck him with the saw j help m< to get him away, won't you? Let's put him in the shop, and cove- him over with shavings. [ They take hold and carry him out. Both return and go to work being so perplexed they don't know what they are doing, and hop about from one thing to another.] Enter Slopey. Now, Cale ; be lively to-day, and finish up your work. [Calling.] Here, Pete ; go in the house, and tell Lizzy to come here imme- diately. Pete. [Very much agitated.] Yes, I killed him. Slopey. What ! You done what ? [Looking at Pete,] Clear yourself, sir ; and do as I told you. THE COOPERS. 15 Pete. [Goes to the house. Immediately returns and announces.'] We put her in the shop, and covered her over with shavings, Slopey. You done what ! Well, I believe you're crazy. Why don't you call Lizzy. Pete. She ain't in the house, sir. Slopey. Well, where the devil has she gone too ? Pete. Oh, I killed him ; didn't I, Cale ? Slopey. Look here, Pete ; if you don't stop them d — d didoes of yours, 111 kill you. Go across the road to Mrs. Kogers', and see if she's there. Pete. Oh, Mr. Slopey, I'm afraid. Slopey. Go on, sir. Cale, you go with him. Pete axd Caleb. [Both start up stage on the errand, v:hen they discover Jacobi and Lizzy returning,] Pete. Here she is, sir. Lizzy. Yes, father ; here I am. Slopey. Well, and pray who is this ? [Alluding to Jacobi. Jacobi. Baing quite large enough to speak for myself. Allow me to say that I am your son-in-law. Slopey. My what ? Speak, Lizzy ; what does this mean ? Lizzy. My father ; it means that we are man and wife, and no power can alter it otherwise. 16 THE COOPERS. Slope y. [Side speech.] Well, I see how it is. There's no use of getting in a passion, and what impudence, too. No. matter now ; on second thought, I'm glad of it. There'll be one less to feed. [Calling.] Here, Pete. Pete. Oh, my ! he knows all about it. Slopey. Gale. Now, boys ; I'll tell you what I mean to do. Pete, [One side.] Slopey. Hang us I Now then, Lizzy's got a husband, and you are both of you quite out of your time — I mean to give up business myself, and let you and Pete have the shop for yourselves. And now, while I feel in the hu- mor, we'll have a jolly good blow-out, and dance till we get tired. [ They all agree — take places for dancing. While dancing they take hold of hands — make circle — and dance around the centre-trap. All scream and make picture. The Workman's ghost comes up with sheet and mask on — paces the stage slowly down, and taps Pete on the shoul- der — asks him for his two dollars. Red fire — "Picture, and Curtain.] the end. 1869 HOME TRUTHS FOR Youisra "WIVES, UPON THE MANAGEMENT OF PARTIES, MARRIAGES, CHRISTENING AND FUNERALS. ALSO HOW TO PREPARE FOR AND GO UPON A WEDDING TOUR, HOW TO TAKE, FURNISH, AND MANAGE A HOUSE. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher, 126 Nassau St., N. Y. THE PASTRY COOK'S AND CONFECTIONERS ASSISTANT. Containing the most approved and choice directions for making all manner of PASTRY, PATTIES, TARTS, PIES, PUDDINGS, JELLIES, BX^ANC-MAlSrG-ElS AND CREAMS. Showing how to make BRIDE CAKES, SAVOY, SPONGE, ALMOND RATAFIA, AND ROUT CAKES,; MACAROONS, ROCK, AND OTHER BISCUITS, BOS, BATHBIWS, AM) TEA CAKES, The best methods of Preserving Fruit, the Art of Sugar Boiling, Making Lozenges, Drops, Pipe, Barley-Sugar, Twist, Carraway Comfits, &c, &c. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher, 126 Nassau Street, N. Y. New, Complete, Useful, and Cheap. LETTER WRITING MADE EASY, SHOWING PLAINLY How to Compose Letters upon almost every Subject. AND GIVING NUMEROUS EXAMPLES OF MODEL STYLES FOR Letters on Love, Friendship, Business, Legal Affairs, »«» TERMS = 25 Cents per Number; $3,0® per Annum. TERMS TO CLUBS: Two Copies for one Year $ 5 00 Five " " " 10 00 Eleven" " " 30 00 Clergymen and Teachers supplied at Two Dollars a year. — w-— & — e-4 SETS OF HOUSEHOLD WORDS, 18 VOLUMES, Can now be had, Bound in Cloth, at SI 75 per Volume. Back Numbers of Household Words can be furnished at the Office of Publication. Price, 35 Cents each. EJSF" All persons subscribing to Household Words through any Association or Bookseller, must look to them for their supply of the work. Address, FREDERIC A. BRADY, 136 Nassau Street, N. Y. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13CTS. *««((@*^^g CHABLEY FOX'S ETHIOPIAN SONGSTER. 111 Press. — Charley F>x"s Bijou Sinister. Price 13 cents. Georare Christy's Ei-hiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " •• •' Oeorgo Christy's Ethiopian JoH Book. V« ». " «• M BRA DY'J ETHIOPIAN DRAM1. THE PUBLISHER OP THE ABOVE SERIES OF POPULAR PLAYS, DRAMAS, BCULESQUKS, FAUCES, ETC., Which have been so exceedingl}' attractive wherever performed— an- nounces that, the following works are nearly ready, and can he obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealers in "the United States and the British Provinces : NO. I.— ROBERT MAKE-AIRS, with a Characteristic Illustration. II.— BOX AND COX, " HI.-MAZEPPA, " •' IV.— UNITED STATES MAIL, " M V.— THE COOPERS, M " VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, " " VII.— THE HIVAL LOVERS, " H VIII.— THE SHAM DOCTOR, " " JX.-THE BLACK DOCTOR, " a X.— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " « XI.— THE VIRG1NNY CUPIDS, »» •* XII.— THE WRECK, " " XI II.— THE MAGIC PENNY, u " XIV.— HOP OF FASHION, H " XV. -MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, M *« XVL— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVII.— UNCLE JEFF, « " XVIII.-WILLIKENS AND HIS DINAH, M " XIX.— THE MYSTIC SPELL, » M XX.— THE JOLLY MILLERS, H 4I Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's su- pervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dra- mas are specially adapted for Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CENTS EACH : 10 COPIES FOR $1. All Orders promptlv attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER AND PROPRIET R OP T.I a COPYRIGHTS, NO. 12G NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK. NEW-YORK : FREDERIC A. BRADY (PUBLISHER OF CHARLES DICKENS* S HOUSEHOLD WORDS,) NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET. Price 13 Cents. S^./Ps^ PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [13 CTS GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK, No. 3. FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER, 126 NASSAU ST. 5^g))))»» : ' Just Published. — Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. Price IS cents, Charley Fox's Bijou Songster, George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. «i «i « "Y-. - "t? -t-3 £^ J, Wi roll woi cen 1 1 a . t- -s a 1 J, o Drl P o C3 O^ £ §§ S3 o p Si r£ * £~ "3 Si | ^j a I | g>» — H O ^ iM ^ -_ 3 n= 2 £ « Oh I p,p .bp 2 — o o G > *i? o g o 5 o cs P* I o ^ .2 C3 <3 O O •T3 OLD DAD'S CABIN. ACT I. Scene 1.— Interior Kitehen. Table in Centre. Cover on Table, also a Candle, two Pipes, Newspaper, Pitcher, two Tin Cups, Old Man's Nightcap, a Lath. On the side of the Flat hangs the old Woman 1 s Hat and Blanket. Enter Arabella, r. u. e. [Music, " Old Folks at Home."] "Well, well, no signs of anybody yet. There's my daughter Lucy's been out ob de house eber since five o'clock dis morning. I would really like to know what could hab kep her out so long, well I s'poso she got playin' wid de young folks. Yes ! yes, I was once a children myself. [Turns up stage, %oes to ta- ble, sits down, and reads paper. Enter Lucy, l, u. e, [Waltzing to Music, unnoticed by old woman.] Well, mother, I made a good stay, haven't I ? Arabella. Yes, my child, what kept you out ob de house so long, eh ? Lucy. Well, you see I was down to Abner Holmes, and would you believe it, his daughter, Mary Ann, is going to be married. Oh, how I wish it was me. Arabella. Why you don't say dat Abner's daughter is gwan to get married. Lucy. Yes, indeed, mother, for she told me so herself. Arabella. Well dar, I know'd dat gal would slip off soon. Neber mind. Now, 8 old dad's cabin. Lucy, my child, go to work and hem your fader's kankerehief, for we am going to the Colored A posiation Ball dis ebening. Lucy. And may I go, too, mother ? Arabella. Why certainly, my child, if you am a good girl. [Lucy sits down, and sews handkerchief.] [Voice from outside.] Pedlar. Twenty -five self-sealing envelopes for four cents. Arabella. Hallo ! dar's annoder pedlar-man. Lucy, go lock up my brass wash-kettle in the bureau-drawer. Pedlar. [From ivithout] Twenty-five wallops for four cents. Twelve sheets of w r riting-pa- per for four cents. Arabella. Dear me, it am enough to deafen a person. Wallops, eh ? Lucy look out and keep de doors lock'd, 'kase you know dem pedlar fel- lers will take things. Lucy. Yes, mother, I've fastened all the doors. [Still sewing.] Enter Pedlar, [l. u. e., or door-flat, with a pedlar 1 s board in front of him, a strap running over the shoulders, and toys, fyc, on board] Ah ! dar's my little love ; now to surprise her. I say, do you want to buy any letter-paper, envellopes, toys, or suspenders ? Lucy. No, we don't want anything to-day. Pedlar [opens his coat, and shows himself] Why, don't you know me, Lucy ? [Gives her a letter] Arabella [discovers the pedlar] Here, here, we don't want anything in your line. Come, leave. [And so chases the pedlar out — then sits down at table again] My gracious, Lucy, what hab I always told you about dem chaps. Well ; if I eber see such a thing come right into your house, widout eben knocking at de door. OLD DAD ? S CABIN. Lucy. [Jumps up- Goes front — and reads the letter in silence. ] Arabella [Calls Lucy, and discovers her reading something. She steps care- fully down, and grabs the letter from Lucy. What, a letter to my daughter. [Tears up the letter — takes Lucy by the arm.] Now den, Miss, dat's for you, old nigger. Now den, go to work Lucy [stamps her feet, and pouts. Arabella. What, make snoots at your mudder ? Now den, Miss, I'll tell your fader, so help me ! Well, see if I don't, dat's all. Enter Pedlar. Lucy hides him behind tlie old woman's shawl, which hangs against the flat. Arabella, Get my hat and shawl, Lucy, I'm going to look for your fader, 'case I can't stand dis treatment any longer. Lucy [hesitates] Oh, mother, you aint going out in the rain, are you ? Think of your rheumatism. Arabella. Neber mind de rootatism. Get out ob de way — I'll get 'em my- self. You don't pertend to do anything for your mudder any more. [Goes for the shawl, Takes it off the nail, and discovers the Pedlar, whom she chases around the stage, and runs him off.] Now den, Miss quenseconse, I know what you is up to, so I shan't stir a step now. Ah, ha, I smell a mice. Wait till de old man comes home, dat's all. [Cough heard outside.] Ah, here comes your fader. Enter Old Brown. [Music, Uncle Ned. \ / Dar was an old nigger, and dey called him Uncle Ned, [Sintrino-1 \ But he died lon ° ag0 ' loDg ag °' L 5 ° ,J IHe had no hair on the top ob his head, ' De place whar de wool ought to grow. Well,well, I wonder whar my dear old wife is. Here Ise been out ob de house eber since five dis morning, and I'm kind ob dry and hun- gry. [He calls,] Lucy, Lucy ! [Lucy comes to him.] 10 OLD DAD'S CABIN. Lucy. Here I am, father. Old Brown. Here, Lucy, take my hat, and here. [Gives her money] — I want you to go down to de corner grocery, and get me a pint ob beer, and two cents worth ob herrin's. Now, don't go to the Dutchman's. Lucy. ISTo, father, I'll go to Mr. Zimmermans. [Exits.] Old Brown. I wonder whar de old woman can be. [He turns, and sees old wo man.] What my lam', is you dar ? Arabella. Eh, Charles Henry, hab you got home? [She advances— they both embrace.] Oh, daddy, I've got such news to tell you. Old Brown. "What is it, my honey ? What is it ? Arabella. Well, daddy, dis morning jest arter you had gone out, dar was a man coming along hollering out twenty-fibe wallops for free cents, an* I told Lucy to lock de door, Presently, arter dat, he come right in de house, widout eben knocking at de door. So I walloped him out. Soon arter dat, she begin to cut up some ob herdidos, and I thought I would go and look for you. Well, jest as I went up to get my hat — what does you think ? Old Brown. What — honey — what Arabella. Why dar stood de man right behind my shawl. [While speaking this, she raises her cane, and in bringing it down knocks the pipe out of Old Brown's mouth,] Old Brown, [looking up.] Why, mommy, what on 'arth am dat ? Arabella, [looking up.] Daddy, I,ve told you bout dat ceiling a hundred times. De storms hab made dat plaster loose, and de fust ting you know we'll bofe get killed. OLD DAD'S CABIN. 11 Old Brown. Well, old woman, I've made a bargain wid Abner Holmes bout de farm. Arabella. Hab you tho' ? Well Ise glad ob dat. Come, let's set down. Old Brown. Yes. Set down, and I'll tell you all about it. [They both sit down at the table.] Enter Lucy, with 'pitcher of beer. Father, here's the beer. Old Brown Whar did you get it, my child ? Lucy. Down at the Dutchman's, father. Old Brown. Didn't I tell you not to go to the Dutchman's. [Picks up the pitch- cr, and looks in.] Mother, dis beer aint got a bit ob head on it. Arabella. Well, daddy, you keep drinking it, and you'll get a head on. Old Brown. [Pours out a cup for himself, and one for the old woman] Come, old woman, here's to better acquaintance. Arabella. What, you old fool, better acquaintance ? Why, here we've been married for more dan twenty-fibe years, and you want better 'quaiu- tance, eh? daddy, here's luck. [They both drink— the old woman takes up the pitcher, and drinks out of it Old Brown [seizes the pitcher from her.] Hold up, old woman, dat's goin' in rather strong. Arabella. Well, it always tastes so much better out ob de pttcher. Old Brown. I've sold de farm, oid woman. Arabella. Hab you tho' ? 12 old dad's cabin. Old Brown. Yes I Arabella. How could you sell de farm widout my cris-cross to de papers, eh ? Old Brown. I know dat, my lam'. Dat's what I come back for — so as to get you to go down wid me. Arabella. "Yes, old man, let's go right away, for dey might back out. Lucy, get your fader's hat and coat. Hurry up, child, come do something for your fader — for de Lord knows, dat you neber done anything for your mudder. [They all make preparations for the departure. Lucy helps her father on with his coat, hat, cravat, fyc. Lucy [takes old man by the arm.] Now, father, won't you bring me home something ? — one of them nice silk dresses, like Mrs. Dickson's daughter's, would be so nice — only three shillings a yard. Arabella. What, oh my ! what 'stravagance. Dear me I three' shillings a yard, Old Brown Yes, dat's rader high. Arabella. Now, dar was Mrs. Palmer's daughter, Elizabeth, went down to York, and she bought herself one ob de most 'nifficent dresses off ob some damaged goods, and she only paid free cents a yard for it. Lucy. Yes, but it was ail full of holes, tho'. Arabella. Well, what ob dat, she cut de holes out, and it was jest as good as new. Old Brown. Well, my child, I'll bring you something. old dad's cabin. 13 Arabella. Yes, we'll fetch you a penny-worth of peanuts. Xow look out for de house, and don't let dat feller wid de wollops come around. If you does, you'll see somethiDg, dat's all. Come daddy. [Both Exit.] Lucy. Dear me, I'm glad they are gone, for they do nothing but scold from morning till night. Well, it's got to be so late I don't suppose that Henry will be here again to night. I'll set up till the old folks come back, and take a little nap in the chair, for I should be frightened out of my wits, to go to bed, and no one in the house. [Music. She nods herself to sleep, with her arm resting on the table.] Enter Pedlar, with cautious step. Hallo ! house all alone, and Lucy fast asleep. I'll plague her a lit- tle, and take her by surprise. [Tickles her with a piece of paper, or a strav:. She slaps her cheek.] Lucy. Them tormenting musquetoes ! Pedlar [stoops over to kiss her, Lucy awakes, runs forward, and screams.] Why, don't you know me, Lucy ? Lucy. Oh, is it you, Henry ? You like to frighten me almost to death. [Loud knocking heard, by old man and woman, outside.] Lucy, Lucy, open de door ! [By both.] Lucy. My gracious, here comes father. What shall I do? [Consternation and uproar by both.] Pedlar. What shall I do, eh ? Quick — ah, I have it, I'll hide under the table. [Runs under the table. Lucy goes to tlie door, lets the old folks in, and then resumes her sewing again.] Enter Old Brown, and Arabella. Old Brown. Ah, old woman, see dat industry. Arabella. Yes, daddy, dar's something in dat gal's head besides work. [Calls] 14 old dad's cabin. Here, Lucy, take your fader's things. | Lucy takes them.] Take my tat, and put it up-stairs iu de pill-box. [Lucy now has her arms full] Lucy. Father, did you bring home my silk dress? Old Brown. No, my child, I forgot all about it. [Lucy screams with rage, throws the clothes dozen, and tramples upon them with anger — crying] Arabella. Lucy, does you hear your mudder 1 Pick up dem things up dis berry minute, or I'll Old Brown. Lucy, does you hear your father ? [The old woman grabs hold of him, and pulls him one side.] Arabella. For de last time I axe you. Will you pick dem things up ? [She shakes her stick at her.] Does you hear me ? Lucy [Picks up the things.] Arabella. Ah, ha! Does you see who is de boss ? Now, den, miss, you go to bed. Old Brown. Yes, for it's gettin' late. Come, old lady, set down a minute, for I'm berry tired. [They both go to sit down. The Pedlar, under the table, pulls both chairs from under them— they fall. They both rise toge- ther, each accusing the other, and a dispute ensues between them.] Arabella. You old fool, what under de sun, possessed you to pull a chair out from under a person in dat manner. Old Brown. Why, you ugly old rhinoceros, you pulled my chair from under me, and now, you've got de impudence to accuse me ob it, eh ? old dad's cabin. 15 Arabella. See here, old man, don't you play any more ob dem tricks on me ; if you does, you'll get hurt — dat's all. [ They both set down again.] Old Brown. Ob, shut up, for de bressed Lam's sake. I want to get a little nap [They both murmur and sleep.] Pedlar [Rises from under the table, takes the candle, and looks in the old wom- an's face, with it almost touching her nose. The blaze causes the old woman to sneeze— she instantly siezes a lath, which lays on the table, and strikes Old Brown a blow across his head, which breaks the lath in two. Old Brown jumps up, holding on his head, running, and yelping about the stage.] Lucy [goes to her father, and looks at his head.] Oh, my mother, what have you done ! Arabella. Ah, I told you dat I'd lam you, an' I did. Old Brown. Oh, my poor head ! it's all cove in. [Arabella goes over, and looks at the wound.] Arabella. Dear me, what a large hole. [Calling.] Lucy, run right down to the hardware store, and get a piece ob sheet-iron. Old Brown. Sheet-iron ! What's dat for ? Arabella. Why to tack it ober de hole to keep de mice out. Lucy. Now, father, do make up with her ? I don't like to see you quar- rel so. [She draws the old folks together — they embrace, and make up. Then resvme their places at the table— the old man puts on his nightcap, which has a paper tassel on top, and falls sound asleep.] Arabella. Stuff your fader's obercoat in dat broken pane ob glass, for de win' 16 OLD dad's cabin. makes my shoulder ache berry bad. Come, hurry now — and den, go to bed, right away. [All silent, both asleep.] [Music. Dark stage.] [Pedlar comes from his hiding-place with great caution.] Now, Lucy, the old folks have been plagued so that I guess they'll sleep pretty sound for a little while. So now's the time if we want to get out. I've got old Joe, the fiddler, outside, ro we'll be off, and have a little fun. [Jig Music from a violin, heard outside. Lucy looking for her things.] That's him, hear dat, hey. — [And he begins to dance, which awakens the old folks. Daring the Mu sic Old Brown's night-cap takes fire from the candle, The old woman first discovers it.] Arabella. Oh, daddy, your head's all afire. Old Brown. [Instantly puts it out, and discovers the Pedlar.] Say, old woman, there's dat pedlar fellar. [They both jump up to race hi?n.] Arabella. Dar's dat fellar wid de wollops. [Lucy and Pedlar, both take hold of hands, down front with their backs to audience — then run up stage under the comes of the old folks. They come front in the same manner — still pursued, and run up the stage a second time. The old woman aims a sure bloto at the Pedlar, which the old man catches across his stick, although it is supposed to have struck him on the head, at this moment, red fire is lit tn the wing. The old man is knocked down. The whole stage in a brilliant red light. Arabella, [shaking Old Brown.] Oh ! daddy de house is on fire ! Lucy faints in the arms of the Yedlab.. All make picture— and Curtain. THE END. .HOUSEHOLD WORDS. CONDUCTED BY CHARLES DICKENS, Author cf { ' 'J-'if -wick Papers" i: Nicholas NicJcleby" li Dcmbey and Sen,' 1 '' etc. >\ i Republished Monthly "^ W L Subscriber from advance sheets, under sanction of the ' London Publishers, and i>/ s t ?cial arrangement with them. Each monthly num- I ber contains i :! TALES, STOBIE? AND OTHEE AETIOLES, CHARLES PICKENS, WILLIAM CO WITT, LEIGH HUNT, WiKRY CORNWALL WILKIE C0XLlNr«r HRC. GASKELL, ETC., ETC. Thus rendering it by far the most interesting', \\*ns3, and decidtd'y the BEST LITERARY PERIODICAL IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE No work of the kind contributes so successfully ard r,o much to the fronting- literature of the day ; its sharp, crisp, genial articles, per Annum TERMS TO CLUBS: Two Copies for one Year $ 5 00 Five « " " .. ^ - It 00 Eleven " " " - £& 00 Clergymen and Teachers supplied at Two Dollars a year. _ ^. _^_ ^ SETS^OP HOUSEHOLD WOKDS, 18 'VOLUMES, Can now be had, Bound in Cloth, at SI 75 per Volume. Rack Numbers of Household Words can be furnished at the Office of Publication. Price, 25 Cents eacli. EfeF* All persons subscribing to Household Words through any Association or Bookseller, must look to them for their supply of the work. Address, FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 Nassau Street, N. Y. BEADY'S PUBLISHING HOUSE, ISO nSTassan Street, 1ST. Y. F1EBEEIC A. BRADY, (Successor to E. D. LONG,) BOOKSELLER & PUBLISHER And N. Y. Agent for the Works Published by T. B. 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Empress Eugenie's Bou- doir, complete paper, TJic Young Bueliess, com- pete " Imogen Hartland, " Canon bury House, " Ada Arundel " Olivia, " Leila, »■ " , Just Published.— Charley Eox's Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 cents. George Christy's Ethiopean Joke Book, No. 2. " V " George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " " f PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. fU3 CTS. AAAAiJi.M ■ fU b .A . ^UM^A^ . A A A 4 A A A A AAA AAAA AA A4 *««(((< GE0K6E CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK. No. 2. FREDERIC! A. BRADY, PUBLISHER, m NASSAU ST. yvfvvv v wvvvTV v vvfvy ' yv v vy f' VVvyvtvtyvr T yyT ^ y y %y Just Published. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. " " '* Geor-ge Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " " ." PRTCE] ILLUS 1BATED. [laCTS. Just Published. — Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. Price George Christy's Ethiopean Joke Book, No. 2. . " George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " 13 cents. M it M t* BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE PUBLISHER OF THE ABOVE SERIES OF POPULAR PLAYS, DRAMAS, BURLESQUES, FARtKS, ETC., Which have been so exceedingly attractive wherever performed— an- nounces that the following works are nearly ready, »nd can be obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealers in the United States and the British Provinces : NO. I.— ROBERT MAKE-AIRS, with a Characteristic Illustration. II— BOX AND COX, III.— MAZEPPA, IV.— UNITED STATES MAIL, » " V.— THE COOPERS, VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, u " VII.— THE RIVAL LOVERS, " *' VIII.— THE SHAM DOCTOR.' " " IX.— THE BLACK DOCTOR, " " X.— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " u XI.— THE VIRG1NNY CUPIDS, 4l XH.— THE WRECK, " i; XLIL— THE MAGIC PENNY, " " XIV.— HOP OP FASHION, u " XV.— MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, " " XVI.— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVII.— UNCLE JEFF, " " XVIH.— WILLIKENS AND HIS DINAH, " XIX— THE MYSTIC SPELL, < 4 ." XX— THE JOLLY MILLERS, Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. 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Price 13 cents, Charley Fox's Bijou Songster, George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2, (I , (t M ■^St* il Ihab it now ! VII tell you how I can fool 9 emf" % Kival Lovers. no. vn, BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE KIVAL LOYERS. % %t%tn $axxe* IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE WRITTEN AND ARRANGED BY C. WHITE TIME OF PLAYING, TWENTY MINUTES WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c. NEW-YORK: *$19 FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER OF DICKENS' "HOUSEHOLD WORDS." 126 Nassau Street Entered according to A ft of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clerk's Office of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State of New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled " An Actio amend the several acts respecting Cnpy right," approved February third eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws '.•*' the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic comp sition, de signed or suited lor public representation, shail be deemed and taken to confer upon the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, a'ong with the sole right to print and publish the said composition, the sole right also to act, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public place during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor, or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the sa ; d author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva lent remedy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all cases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the first, and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- n zance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein t nacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by any manager, actor, or other person, previous to the securing of the copyright for the saia composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process in equ'ty in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of Uis right?!. Approved, August 18, 1856. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. g t! ^ ■ 33 o £ c > . H CQ P" ^2 r HshiOH^ g : rj H w TO g \ o ti_ CO o^ CD c3 gg .Si DO | g fe o CO 'cd CD £* 1 O t 4-3 K5°? I I ,-^ fcD 03 -CD CD 0* CO go*. ? a § I o o ^ *s "S . ^ r 03 E- CD c<3 S-i ■""" CD CI o ° £ CD JS bo£ C3 CQ g -a S3 CU Sgfi??-3 o £ o a O ^ c "^ •p-S • ~ CD ^-3 O ,X3 ^ ... CD CD ^ THE RIVAL LOVERS. ACT I. Scene 1. — Louisa discovered sewing, or spinning. Music. Enter Aunt Hetty. ^ Gome, my child, stir your stumps, for you know dat dis is de pay day wid de boys; and here dey come. Go in de house, my dear, and get my purse out ob de Bureau. [Louisa drops her work] Yes, mother. [And goes in the cottage. Music] ]Enter Jumbo and Two Miller Boys with bags on their backs, they walk up stage and throw off their sacks. Aunt Hetty. Ah ! Boys, you are up early to day ; and I'm glad to find you so industrious. Jumbo. Yes, dats because it am pay-day. For when dar's any money coming we am always on hand. Louisa. [Returns with her mothers purse, gives it, ami then goes to her work again.] Aunt Hetty. Jumbo, you remember you had free cents and a new pair ob shoes last month, and dat makes jest two and eight pence dats coming to you. [Jumbo stands with his hand out to receive it, and murmurs at the amount, takes the same and passes up stage. One of the other Mil. ler Boys presents himself for his amount.] 8 THE RIVAL LOVERS. Aunt Hetty. Dar you had two penny segars, and a Jews-harp, and dat makes jest seventy-four cents coming to you. [The other Miller Boy pre sents himself for his wages.] Aunt Hetty. Dar, William Henry, is your wages in full, five shillings. Now remember gib it to your mudder, and tell her if you am a good boy dat next year I'll raise your wages two cents a month. [Takes Ids money and leaves with it.] Jumbo [partially behind her puts out his hand again, as if to get his pay a second time. The old woman looks about and sees him, then hastily lays the stuffed stick on his back.] 6 Aunt Hetty. What, you good-for-nothing, axe me to pay you de second time. Here, away with you, boys, get dat stuff down to de mill, quick as you can, for I want you right back again to get in some stuff for de pigs, So hurry yourselves. [Jumbo and the other Boys all leave the stag:. The old woman takes Louisa front and talks. During which time Jumbo comes slily on again, and hides himself behind the hogs- head or cask.] Aunt Hetty. Now, my dear child, does you know dat I am going to town dis berry day to get you a husband. Louisa, [surprised,'] Get me a husband ! Aunt Hetty. Yes, deer, kase I can't afford to keep you any longer, and Our lit- tle farm aint able to stand de heaby cumberance ob our strabagant family. Louisa. Well, dear mother, how can you get me a husband? I don't love any body but Jumbo ; and wont have any body else, that's more. Aunt Hetty. What, y.ui sassy hussy, don't talk to me ob who you will have. I THE RIVAL juOYERS. guess dat I'll bab my own way 'bout it, any how. Now den, my child, you know dat I am bery poor, and if I can only marry you to some rich feller why den de old woman will be all right for one ob de principal folks ob de family. Louisa. Yes, dats all bery well, but how can I marry any one dat I neber seen before, and Aunt Hetty« Oh! pshaw! You does'nt know nuffin 'bout it. You see, I've got three good, sponsible, rich fellers dat would like to hab your hand, and Ise gwan to see dem dis berry day, and de one dats got de most chink shall be my son-in-law. Louisa. Who are they, mother ? Aunt Hetty. Well, one ob em is Parson Still, de man what neber says anyting. He dat keeps de colored school. De oder, is Larry Rooney, who owns so many cows ; and de oder one is SkizendofTer, the sassage-ma- ker, and I shall send dem all here to day to see you, and I want you to put on a great many airs, and take one ob ''em sure. Now re- member. [Exits in to Cottage.] .... Louisa. I sliant have any of them. Jumbo [Enters from his hiding place. J No, that you shan't. For I've been listening to de old woman, and she says dat she is going to send you three lovers. Xow for my part, I think dat one beau is enough for any gal. Louisa. So do I, dear me what shall I do ? Jumbo. I know. I'll wait till dey come, den I'll run de pitch fork fro dem. Louisa. No, no, dat will neber do. We must find some plan to get rid ob em, or 10 THE RIVAL LOVERS. Jumbo. Oh, I have it now. I'll tell you how I can fool ein. You jest lend rae your clothes, and I'll be a gal, and when dey come I'll slap em all in de face. Louisa. Lend you my clothes? Dear me, aint you ashamed of yourself? : Jumbo. I don't mean dem clothes what you got on. Some oder ones jest like 'em. Louisa. Why what do you intend to do? Jumbo, Why, I'll dress up and look like you, den when dey come to make lub, I'll jest draw off, and lam em dey wont know de difference. Louisa. Dats a very good idea, and if you succeed,why we will run off and get married. Just wait a minute and I'll go in de house, and pre- pare a dress for you. [She Exits tnto the house,and gets dress, &c] Jumbo, [begins to take off his things for the change.'] Louisa, [returns, bringing with her, a frock, hat, shawl, and coat.] There you are, Jumbo ; now put them on as soon as you can. Jumbo, [picks up the coat.] You've made a mistake. Dar's somebody's coat. Louisa. Oh, I must take that back again. Jumbo. No, you need'nt. Dats just what I want, [commences to twist the coat up, by holding on each sleeve, which he ties about his waist by the arms, mid forms a bustle. He then proceeds awkwardly to get the frock on, Louisa assists him. After tvhich she places the handkerchief or shawl, over his shoulders.] Have you got a pin ? Louisa No, I have not. THE RIVAL LOVERS. 11 J UMBO. I've got one in my pocket. [He lifts up his dress and puts Jus hand in his pocket for the same, when Louisa instantly pulls the frock down.] Louisa. Ob, my, aint yon ashamed ? There now, let me see how you can walk ? [He walks about, takes a Jew instructions from her. and she considers him a good counterfeit.] Ah, some one is coming I must be off. Jumbo, You just leave dis to me, [takes a strut up stage.] Enter Skizendoffer, l. f. e. Mine gracious, dat ish so great a valk, vat I never had, so goot many years bime bye. Ah, dat ish mine lee tie gal, vat I shall speck mit her mudder von my frow. I say, my leetle gal, vat mak's you so skart mit a man? Jumbo [comes down front, keeping his face out of the way most of the time.] Skizendoffer. Mine dear, Ine have got infurmation by your mudder dat I shall be your wife. Dat vill be goot, an we get so rich in de sassage vay. Jumbo [makes curtsey.] Oh you'r the gentleman that my mother was speaking about. Old Puddingdoffer, I believe? Skizendoffer. Oh yes, I make Blona's, Puddin's an uder tings. How you like head cheese, eh, mine tear ? Jumbo. Well, my dear sir, I think there is some one coming, I should like to have a longer talk with you, but we cannot just now. If you love me, get down on your knees, and swear it before we part, or I never shall speak to you again. Come be quick for some one approaches. Skizendoffer [gradually gets down and lifts his hands to show hisfaithfidlness, when Jumbo throws him over on his belly, and raises him two or three times by the seat of his trowsers. 12 THE RIVAL LOVERS. [Knocking, heard outside^] Jumbo. Ob, my dear Skizendoffer, get up quick, or we will be caught. Do hurry now, for here comes old Parson Still. Skizendoffer. Tes, 'pon my word, I will be still. Jumbo. Now do for my sake, hide away for a few minutes, and then we will have another talk. [ They run all about, looking for a hiding place.] Here get in this chest. Skizendoffer. No, no, I vant a bigerish box. Jumbo. Well, here lay down, and I will cover you over with straw. Skizendoffer. Mine gwacious mit straw like a pig ! [Jumoo helps him doivn then covers the straw over him, and makes preparations to receive Parson Still. Jumbo. Now, don't you breathe a word for your life. Enter Parson Still l. f. e., \with his hands folded, and an umbrel- la under his arms, all the due compliments pass in the way of bowing, &c Jumbo. Ah, Parson Still, I believe. You have come to take my hand, and make me one of the stills. [Parson raises on his toes, Quaker style.] La, me, you cant imagine how queer I feel^ at the idea. Ah, Parson, some one is coming; we must quit this love-affair for the present, and then I shall be most proud to offer you my hand in the holy bands of hemlock. [Noise outside.] Oh, dear me, quick, Par- son, let me entreat you to hide away for a moment, and then I will resume our dear conversation again. Come, [pulling him about,] now do, hide away for my sake, do [Pulls him up stage and crowds him in the large box without further ceremony.] Well done there's two of the vagabonds snugly stowed away. And now if I only sue THE RIVAL LOVEKS. 13 ceed with the other one, I will run off with Louisa, and they may find out the mystery the best way they can. Hallo! here comes the wild Larry. [ Voice from] Larry [without. \ By my soul, an this must be the place. [Enters with shillelagh] Ah, an aint she a beautiful creature shure, muther of Moses but she'l be a fine wife for Mr. Larry Rooney. Jumbo, Ob, sir youre the gentleman that my mother has selected, to be the partner of ray joys. Larry. Faith, I'm the same select gentleaian, that'll make you jolly as a pig pen full of little darlings. Och, my dear, lit a wee bit, till I have a talk wid ye absut the neptune ties of our expected love- match. I Gets two chairs, they sit dovm. He pulls off his hat, and crosses his leg over on Jumbo's lap, Jumbo throws it down instantly and complains.'] Jumbo. Dear me. sir, I took you for a gentleman. Larry. An shure, you'll find me one of them blackguards, before I leave you. Jumbo. Well, Mr. Rooney, I suppose you are prepared to take me at once, and provide a home without my remaining here long. Larry. Prepared is it, and so I am. Do you see that stick ? Jumbo. I mean you will have a nice place for me when I become Mrs. Rooney. Larry. Och, fal de ral. look at that ! [shovjs paper which he takes out of his hat ] Do you see that ? Yes, That's the construction of an elegant house that I'll be putting up for you, my darlin't-— 14 THE RIVAL LOVERS. Jumbo. La; me, what a funny house. Larry. Yes, mighty funny, is'nt it? Jumbo. It has'nt got any chimney on it. Larry. Divil a chimney is there. The fellow forgot that. Jumbo. Well, how will we be able to get the smoke out ? Larry. Shure an we'll carry it out in a hand basket. Here the old woman has been listening, she takes Jumbo by the car and lifts him off the seat, and drives him in the house. Jumbo rims behind the large cask; old woman sets down on the same chair. Larry turns about to resume his talk, and discovers the old woman. Jumps up astonished. The old woman chases him out with stuffed club, and then exits into the house.] Jumbo [comes from his hiding place.] How lucky the old woman took me for her daughter. [Enter] Larry. What the devil did ye let that old catamaran be listenin to the flattery of your husband for ? Jumbo. Now, Larry, you must listen to me. My mother is very angry to think you did not meet me in the house as you had aughter. Now don't let her see you again while she is so angry, or this affair will all be squashed. Now then if you love me, Larry, do hide away for a few minutes, and then I'll see you again, and the whole thing can be settled in a moment. Now do, that's a good man. Larry. An where the divil will I hide ? Jumbo. Why, here in this large barrel. Do now, and I'll have it all straight. Larry. But I'll not be straight tho', in that machine. Devil a bit of it. THE RIVAL LOVERS. 15 Jumbo. Now, do hide ; do, Larry. [Collars him and drags him up to the barrel.] Larry. Well here goes and 'pon my soul 'tis the first time that Larry Roo- ney was ever penned up like a pig in a stye. [He gets in, Jumbo runs and hides behind it.] [Enter] Aunt Hetty [from cottage, with both Miller Boys with her.] Now, Boys, fly around, for this will be a busy day. Come, hurry up, my lads. Jest take your flails and thrash out that straw, for its a pity to waste so much grain. [J he Boys take flails and thrash. Old Skizendoffer twists and turns and finally gets beat out, and implores forgiveness,] "What under the sun is this ? And tell me, Sir, pray are what you doing under the straw in that manner, eh ? Skizendoffer. Oh, mine goot voraan, I vill told someting vat you dont have brains enough to know. Aunt Hetty [enraged strikes at him with stick.] What, you impudent rascal, tell me I aint got any brains. Will nou ? [Beats him ojf.] Never mind, boys, he aint worth getting angry about. Now then, just put that grain in the box and then go and mix up some swill, for the pigs. [The Boys empty a bag of meal in the box, which brings the Parson out.] Well, well, well, what do I see. The Parson hid away in my box of grain. Come out of that you sly old sneak. [Takes him out by the ear.] Well, Sir, what do you want ? How dare you hide away in that manner about my pre- mises ? [She threatens to strike hhn.] Here, boys, hurry up and do your work. I mean to understand this business. Soon as you get through, put some water in that feed for it's too thick. [Miller Boy pours water in the barrel. Larry Rooney. Hould on there, and would ye drown a poor devil ? [Getting out.] Oh, ye blackguards, and is that the way to treat a gentleman. Oh murder, I'm as wet as biddy's dish-rag. 16 THE RIVAL LOVERS. Aunt Hetty. For mercy's sake, have you come to rob or murder me. [Enter Skizendoffer and Parson slowly] Skizendoffer. Hold on, old voman, I vil told you some tings. Dat gal vat you say has been your daughter is no goot. Ah [Puts Ids finger to his nose] dat ish a humbug. She don't been a gal. Hold on, I show you dat ish a man dressed up in voman's clothes. [Goes up and pulls Jumbo from behind the barrel. All startled] Aunt Hetty. Why, that's my daughter Louisa. Larry Rooney. And by my soul I think you're deceived. Skizendoffer. Say, little gal, speak mit your mother. . Jumbo [turns around and says] Hold on, and I'll tell you how it is. [They all fly at him] Aunt Hetty. Stop, stop, gentlemen! Larry, Skizendoffer and Parson, all. Oh, we want your daughter. Jumbo. Now, hold on ; you see, old woman, I heard you say that you was going to town to get three beaux for your daughter. Now, I think one husbaud is enough for any gal, and so we made up a plan be. tween us to fool ail the lovers you sent, and, of course, I hid them away in the places you found them. And now I mean to have Loui- sa all to myself, and if you don't give her to me, why we will both run away the first chance we get. So you had better make up your mind now, and settle the whole matter at once in presence of these gentlemen, who I know will act as witnesses. Louisa. Do say yes, mother, for I love Jumbo. THE RIVAL LOVERS. IT, Aunt Hetty. Well, well, take her, with all my heart Skizendoffer. Say, old voman, vat ish I goin to do mitout a vife. Eh, I shall send in my bill for dem Bolona puddins. [Old woman raps him with stick.] Larry Eooney. An' is that the game your piayin'. You old dried up nannygoat, faith an I'll sue you for malicious damages. [Old woman raps him with stick.] Parson advances with his hands clasped.] Yerily, old woman, this is a horrible adventure for the good, pious Parson Still. Eh ! [and rises on his toes. Old woman strikes him also.] Sktzexdoffer. Calls Larry Rooney and the Parson. They get together down front, and express their dissatisfaction about being so cheated ; and then m edit ate m isch ief. Larry Eooney. By the powers, I'll have a tussle wid that chap, any how. Skizendoffer. No, no, Mr. Irish, I told you we will get a blanket and put him in, and toss him so high dat he will go to the tevil and never come town again. [All] Yes, yes, yes. Jumbo. Now, gentlemen, one word with you, if you please. You see how this case stands: the old woman has given the girl to me,and besides, she loves me, and hates you all, now then you don't want a wife that would'nt love you. So gentlemen, whats the use of being bad friends, there,Dutchy, is my hand, let's make up and have a jolly good time. [Shakes hands.] Skizend offer [looking at the ethers.] Yel, I think dat is not so bad after all. Jumbo. Come, Mr. Eooney. Shake hands. 18 THE RIVAL LOVERS. Larry Rooney. Ah, but you're a sly rogue any how. Jumbo [shakes hands with Parson. Now, then, Gents., I tell you what we'll do. Jest fall in here and take a little dance by the way of friendship, and to-morrow night you may all come to the wedding, and get as drunk as you please, [They all take places for dance ,as soon as they get going nicely one of the Mil- ler Boys comes rushing in. Miller [taking old lady by the arm.] Say, old woman, that donkey of yours has got out of the barn, and is now in the garden treading down all your rose-bushes, and flower beds! Aunt Hetty. Ob, my good gracious ! [She runs up stage, as if going to prevent it ; when in comes the donkey, and kicks about in tlie middle of all, who run to and fro, and fall in all directions until the curtain falls, THE END. 14 May 1853 =*=? HOUSEHOLD WORDS. CONDUCTED BY CHARLES DICKENS, Author tff u Fitkvnek Papers," ''Nicholas Nickleoy" "Dombey and Son" etc. Republished Monthly Vj ^h.* Subscriber from advance sheets, under sanction of the London Publishers, and by social arrangement with them. Each monthly num- ber contains TALES, STORIED AND OTHER ARTICLES, SY CHARLES DICKENS, WILLIAM H9WITT, LEIGH HUNT, 2A.RKY CORNWALL WILKIE COLLIN*'. MB3. GASKELL > ETC., ETC. Thus rendering it by far the most interesting v.n-iad, and decidoTO"W 2^E5-A-X>"^- By G. W. M. Eeynolds. Empress Eugenie's Bou~ cloir. complete paper, 50 Tlie Youn^ XJuchess, com- plete, f. 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AND GIVING NUMEROUS EXAMPLBS OF MODEL STYLES FOR Letters on Lore, Friendship, Business, Legal Affairs, &c, &c. So that the most illiterate may easily learn to write an effective and correct epistle. 8&5T Copies sent, postage free, on receipt of 13 cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher of "Dickens'* Household Words" 126 Nassau Street. HOW TO COOK - AND HOW TO CARVE, GIVING PLAIN, PRACTICAL & EASILY UNDERSTOOD DIRECTIONS FOR PREPARING & COOKING, WITH THE GREATEST ECONOMY, Every kind of Dish from the simplest to the most difficult. ALSO, SHOWING HOW TO PRESERVE EVERY DESCRIPTION OF "V^EG-ET^IBILE Sc FRUIT, IN THE BEST, CHEAPEST, AND MOST PALATABLE STYLE. Price, 25 Cents. Published by FREB. A. BRADY, 126 Nassau Street. T£3T Single Copies sent on receipt of price. CAPT. MILES STANDISH: A Puritan Chronicle^ FROM THE HISTORY AND TRADITIONS OF THE PILGRIMS. " Short of stature he was, but strongly built and athletic, Broad in the shoulders, deep-chested, with muscles and sinews of iron." Longfellow. 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TL— BOX AND COX, III.-MAZEPPA, IV.— UNITED STATES MAIL, V.— THE COOPERS, VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, 1; VII.— THE RIVAL LOVERS, " VIII.— THE SHAM DOCTOR. vt " IX— THE BLACK DOCTOR, " " X— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " ' " XL— THE V1RGINNY CUPIDS, 4t u XII— THE WRECK, » XHT— THE MAGIC PENNY, " *■ XIV— HOP OF FASHION, " XV— MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, " XVI— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVII— UNCLE JEFF, XVIIL-WILLIKENS AND HIS DINAH, 4t XIX— THE MYSTIC SPELL, '• XX— THE JOLLY MILLERS, " Most of the above Dramas have been pr ) laced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's su- pervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dra- mas are specially adapted for Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CENTS EACH : 10 COPIES FOB, $1. All Orders promptlv attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER AND PROPRIETOR OF THE C3PYRIGHT3, NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET, NEW- YORK, * fa . C HAEIEY WHITE. ^ i i l#r NEW-YORK : FREDERIC A. BRA. D^Y _ NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET. Price 13 Cents. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. fllS CTS. iiii»i*#< i A A 4 ft A \ ft #>,AAiA /iAit>AAAA^AAAUMHt> «<((((( •(®^§i GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK. No. 2. $Ufo-gorK: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER, m NASSAU ST. rvTVTVfVvvfTVHfTVvvvyvvyvffviY»TTT» T Ty y »Try< Just PiiblisHed.— Charley Pox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. Charley Pox's Ethiopian Songster. George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " "■ " Ill if 11 lliiiiii fi/.QRR'Co « De sassage ob his smugular canables am out border. Sham Doctor. \ >o NO. VIII. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE SHAM DOCTOR. IN ONE ACT AND THREE SCENES! WRITTEN AND ARRANGED BY C. WHITE. j ■ WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OP CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &o. NEW YORK : FREDERIC A.BRADY, PUBLISHER OF "DICKENS'S HOUSEHOLD WORDS. 126 Nassau Street. l^ " <^2^-^^ ^/t/^^ Z X sftp Entered according *oArt of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the CWk's Office of the U. S. District Court for tbe Southern District of the State o* New York, An Act supplemental to an Act entitled u An Act to amend the several acts respecting CojryrighJt.^ approved February third eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by tlie Senate and FZowi* of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws of the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic comp sition, de- >=ig;ned or suited tor public representation, shall be deemed and taken to confer upon the said author or proprietor, hi* heirs or Resigns, along with tbe sole right to p^int an 1 publish the said composition, the sole righl also to act, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public i lace during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor, or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the sa ; d author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on tbe case or other equiva, lent rem.edy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all rases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the firs J. and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- nizance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein enacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or .^hall in future be acquired by «ny manager, actor, or other person, prev ous to the securing of the copyright for the said composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process in equity in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August 18, 1B56. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. % ? 5 ^ e K a o — i? 5 P rf^f • C§ ^ ^ cc P> 2 J 1 ~ s-. *» s 3 - - S? P • • • £ cy c3 • • • p ^ . • . r~ o o S 1 2 : : : ' Dp ^ } 8 • • . £ = » 1 CO Sm O CO JL o 1 Si £3 CO 1 i ■ • : bj = .s~ : - s | f • • • , *- .2 &p J, g ^£~ S 1 s 1 L< -' o c <*-> d : S ;' _. o c o fcfl . PQ ; | EF i c3 73 •— __ CO g 2 -a 5 5 g 5? .2 fc 1 M (8 g. o3 - BO W Q ' ^J5 ^ « - O * * ' o-" a« =i 1 1 : : : c *-. a £ o &, - 2 sj • • • ^S a : « • OP -T ;" ^ 8^ J ?&8f 53 1 r s* 1 iio Sft}fti Ph-£ 5 0,3 CE THE SHAM DOCTOR. ACT L Scene 1st. Set House, r. h. u. e., with Door and Window practable. A large Pile of Wood in front of House. Enter Liverheel l. 1 e., [with Saw and Back.] Liverheel. [Singing outside.] I only got one job to-day — T wonder whar de fodder's cumin 7 from. I wish de devil had all de Stone Cole dat's a spoilin' my perfession, I guess I'll have to hire some common niggars to carry my buck and saw, and pay him commission on ebery load ob wood dat he cuts up for me. It's worth sixpence a load to be a gentleman, and gib or- ders ! But dat dare dam stone cole — it s a knockin' de wood cold. It's no use talkin' kase you can't saw de cole — an' if de mountains dat dey dig it from don't burn down soon, dis berry suceptable nig- gar will be 'bliged to turn preacher- man, and spend a shillin' for a white cravat and a paper shirt-collar. [Turns up stage, and sees pile of wood.] Hollo ! — dah's a chance. If any odder niggar bin and got dat job, I'll break his jaw short of!. [Bell rings.] Dah— dat'll wake sum ob dem lazy niggars up ! Betsy opens door and Johnson opens window. Betsy. What do you want. Liverheel. Oh, golly ! what a pretty yaller gal. Please, Missis, I want— — " Johnson Well ! What do you want 8 THE SHAM DOCTOR. LlVERHEEL. Why, I'd like to git do job to saw dat wood. Johnson. Betsy, shut de door. I'll 'tend to di3 man. [Betsy shuts door.] What will you charge to saw de wood ? LlVERHEEL. If de sticks am to be saw'd twice, I'll charge you a shillin'. Tree times is eigh^cn-pence. Johnson. How long will it take you to saw it three times ? LlVERHEEL. 'Bout an hour — 'cordin' to de length ob de sticks — de toughness ob de wood— -de sharpness ob de saw — and de strength ob de buck. Johnson. Well, go to work, an' when you is done I will pay you. [Retires ' and shuts window.] LlVERHEEL. He's good for de amount. Now for de good old work. I'll make de slivers fly off ob dera sticks, like hot shot off ob a shubble. Sawing wood and singing,] Enter Julius, l. 1 e. Julius. Old Johnson swears that he'll throw a pan ob hot fat over me, if I serenade his lubly Rosea — an$ he keeps de door locked so dat nobody can get in, or out — unless he knows it. [Betsy opens window.] But I'll have her off in spite of all his locks. Hollo ! There's that in- fernal Betsy with her head out of the window. She don't see me. — I'll listen and hear what she says to dat darkey. [Gets behind wing, L. 2e. Betsy to Liverheel. Say you I LlVERHEEL. Well, what ao you want wid you ? THE SHAM DOCTOR. Betsy. Why Mr. Johnson has been suddenly taken wid a fit ob sum kind and our Josey has gone on an errand ; won't you be so kind as to go down to de next corner, an' fetch de Harb-Doctor — he's de nearest — quick ! Hurry, will you, \ Retires — shuts window.\ Liverheel. Sartin sure — massa — moses ! de old feller might drap off— and den I wouldn't git my eighteenpence. By golly ! I'll run like de berry debble. Julius. Ah ha ! de old fellow is sick, and wants a Herb-Doctor. I have it- Say — wood-sawyer, here — quick — come with me ! Liverheel. See youd — d, fust — an' den I wouldn't I'm on business » Julius. Never mind — I'll give you twenty dollars if you'll do what I tell you. Liverheel. How much ? Julius. Twenty dollars ! Liverheel. Oh, go 'way. Dah ain't so much money in de world. Julius. Yes there is. Now go to de door, and tell 'em that Belsharrar Bug —the Doctor— will be here in a short time. Liverheel. But I haven't seen him, and how de debble do I know he's a cum* in' — when nobody goes after him ? Besides, de old feller might drop off, and den I'll lose my eighteenpence. Julius. Yes, but think of twenty dollars. Liverheel. Jist as you say — eighteenpence ain't nuffin' to twenty dollars, 'ape* 10 THE SHAM DOCTOR. cially when I gits de dollars for doing nuffin'. [Goes up stage and rings bell.] Betsy appears, Betsy. Well, did you see de doctor ? • Liyerheel. Yes. He says dat he'll be here jist as soon as he saws a man's leg off, and sets an old woman's jaw-bone. In a quarter of an hour. Betsy. Yery well. Thank you— dare's sixpence for you. Johnson [inside of house.] Betsy — Betsy I [Scene ready to change.] Liverheel makes love to Betsy — Julius shows Liyerheel a poe fe- et book — Exits l. 1 e.] Liverheel. Oh, yes 1 I like to forget de twenty dollars. [Exits hastily, l. 1 E. SCENE II. Chamber in 1. [Enter] Julius and Josey, l. 1 E. Julius. Well, is that darkey fixed up in dem clothes yet ? Josey. ITes, sir— he was a puttin' sum pepper sauce on his head to make him smell like a doctor. Julius. Joiey ! do you think de folks down to de house will know him f THE SHAM DOCTOR. 11 JOSEY. No, indeed — he's got sense enough for dat. But Mr. Johnson saya if he ever sees me a talkin' to you in de 'treet, he'll discharge me. So I must be a gitting home afore dey miss me. Julius. Well, Josey, here's a shillin' for you. Now don't say a word to anybody about de doctor, except Rosea, and tell her he is a friend of mine. Josey. Yes, sir, I will. [Exit Josey l. 1 e.] •) [Ready to change. At second call, everybody for last scene.] Julius. If my plan ob disguising this wood-sawyer succeeds— which it no doubt will — then the beautiful Rosea will be mine, and old Johnson may retire in disgust. Ah ! I see the Doctor is ready. Now for my lovely Rosea. [Exit l. 1 e. CHANGE. Notice. Make a love scene here between Betsy and Josey. Be- ginning about the old man's illness, his will, &a, in order to make the piece longer, and give Liverheel dressing-time. SCENE III. Fancy Chamber in four, c. d» \Tabh on l. of c, with Books, §c, on it. Chairs. Johnson dis- covered lying on Sofa, c. Rose at his head. Betsy at his feet* Jo- sey below L. of c] Johnson. Oh ! what a pain it is !— is that infernal doctor ever coming ? 12 THE SHAM DOCTOR. JOSEY. I guess he won't be long — kase I seed him fixen his things as I come by. Johnson. T wonder what can be the matter with me ? I'm full of pains all over — every bone in my body seems aching on its own account. — [aside to Josey] Josey, come here, I want you to go and ask that one-eyed police-man over the way if he has seen any suspicious per- sons about my door to-day. [Ready to ring bell.] Josey. Yes, sir — certainly, [aside] in a horn. [Exit Josey, Door in Flat,] Johnson. Oh — ah ! these shooting pains. Oh— ah ! there they go down my leg — now up again in my eye. Eh — oh ! what shall this poor darkey do ? [Bell rings ] Here, Betsy, take de door key. It must be the Doctor, [gives key to Betsy, who exits, d. f.] Kose. Do you feel easier, poppy ? Johnson. Do I feel easier ? No ! I don't. [Re-enter Betsy, Door in Flat.] Betsy. This way, sir — this way. It is the Doctor. [Enter Literheel, d. p., extravagantly dressed. Large Frills on his shirt, cfc] Literheel, [aside.] If de old chap don't get well de fast he sees me, he'll stand a lot of yerbs and roots — that's all. Johnson. He's the queerest-looking doctor I ever saw, [Liyerheel sets down Trunk and Bags ] I wonder if he intends to open a 'ootecary shop in mv house. THE SHAM DOCTOR. 13 LlVERHEEL. Dat's de verbs — and dat's de tools. [Aside.] I'll skeer dat darkey into a yellow duck fit in two minutes. Betsy, [coming down.] Let me have jour hat, sir. Liverheel gives her the hat* LlVERHEEL. Don't damage de beaver — 'kase it's got my name inside — But,— whar's de sick man ? Betsy, Thar he is. Rose. This way, sir. Liverheel, aside, as he goes up. I wonder if he is got any of dem catching fits. [Coughing.] Now for it. Are you de payshent, dat I hab de honor of being called on to examine ? Johnson. Yes, Sir. I'm de patient. Liverheel, [aside.] I thought so — he looks mean enough for a sick man. [aloud.] — What am de symptoms ? Rose* Oh, sir, he was taken very suddenly. Liverheel, [aside.] Dat's de way my bradder Sam was took to jail for stealing. [To Johnson.] If you is de subject of my visit, allow me to feel your pulse. [Aside] By golly ! I forgot — in de leg or in de arm. Johnson holds up his arm. Liverheel feels of it, shakes his head^ and struts down stage, r, h. Rose cornes down to Liverheel. Rose. Well, doctor, what do you think ? Liverheel. Nothing much ! De sassage ob his smugular canables am out ob 14 THE SHAM DOCTOR. order, kase de sweat of de what-do-you-call-'ems — am — dat's hackly de state of de case precisely. Johnson. What are you talkin' about, Eosey ? \ Liverheel. Old gent, keep quiet ! Don't obflusticate de workin's ob your final sparrows, by groaning. [Aside to Eose.] I ain't a doctor. I cum from Julius, and Fse got a letter for you — hush ! Eose. Where is the letter ? Quick !— give it to me ! Liverheel. Shan't do nofiin of de kind kase de old gentleman might see us. — [Aloud.] Young woman, assist de workin's of genius. Hand me dat trunk ! | Betsy brings trunk to him.] — and demdar saddle-bags. Now, Mr. patient, I am gwoin to make a subscription for your in- 'ards. [Takes from Trunk a Brick-bat— Onion — Sausage — Bread—* and a Butcher-knife, which he sharpens on Stage.] Johnson, pointing to Saddle-bags. In de name of Moses ! what am dem for ? Liverheel. Dose ? — dose tings ? Dey am de secret of de yerb science. Don't be alarmed ! I never uses no mercury, nor kamelmile. [Takes out of Saddle-bags a pair of Scales and weights — a Hammer — with which he breaks Brick aad puts it in the Scales — then in the iron Stewpan — with some Sawdust, and a few pieces of red Flannel.] Dare — if dat don't fetch de old feller up a standing, it will lay him on his back — dat's a sure case. Eose." The letter, the letter ! Where is it ? Liverheel. In my hat. Bose goes up and gets letter. He gives the stewpan to Betsy, She and Eose exit door in flat.] THE SHAM DOCTOR. 15 Johnson. Whar Las my daughter gone ? LlVERHEEL. She's gone to bile down de physic. Johnson. Is that nasty stuff in that pan intended for me to swallow ? LlVERHEEL. Of course, how do you expect your dusty-gustics to git into your horse-frontio of your whangdoodle, if you don't ? Johnson. It's my opinion that you're a humbug. LlVERHEEL. Say, look a here, Mister, look here ! I'se a reg'lar doctor — Brad- dlesags — and when I'se curing a man I don't like to be consulted. — Bat's all. JOHN30N. And my fever — what am I to do with it ? LlVERHEEL. Take it out and cut it off. [He takes a plane out of the trunk.] Johnson. Bah! Enter Josey. Johnson. What's that plane for ? LlVERHEEL. Why to jack your shins off when you is got a fever. Josey. Please, sir— there's a cab just stopt at de door, and Miss Rosey is coming up stairs with a strange man. Johnson jumps off sofa, &nd walks up and down stage in a passion, Johnson. Oh, the devil ! tricked at last. 16 THE SHAM DOCTOR. LlVERHEEL. Say, look a here. You had better be quiet, or I'll give you a de- jection ob sawdust and brickbat. Johnson. Silence, you infernal doctor ! Josey. Here they come. Enter Julius, Rose, and Betsy, d. p. Julius to Johnson. Your forgiveness is ail we ask. She has only done as all girls do ; fell in love, and — got married. You defied me, and I have conquered, —and all by de means of you, my trusty doctor. Johnson. He in the plot, too. Bring me a gun till I shoot him. LlVERHEEL. Go 'way from me, old man, or I'll throw my saddle-bags at you, — go away, or I'll tell dat gal to get de sassage tea for you. Julius. Will you forgive us ? Johnson. Was there ever such tricks ? No, I won't forgive you. But, a3 you're married you may stay here and live, but I'll never forgive eith- er of you. LlVERHEEL. Who cares whether he forgives us or not, so long as we have a bet- ter place to get it at a cheaper rate. Julius. Where is that, Liverheel ? LlVERHEEL. Thar — thar am de ones dat always forget and forgive ! I am sure dat dey will forgive de Woodsawyer, Liverheel, for the sake of Bel- sharrar Bug : who, though he isn't a big bug, is a mighty black one, that hopes the errors of his practice will never kill his friends in any THE SHAM DOCTOR. 17 other way than by giving them a good pill of fun, every night — that is, if they feel like taking it CURTAIN. Position. Liverheel. Betsy. Johnson. Josey. Julius. the end. ) BRADY'S PUBLISHING HOUSE. 1£6 ISTassa-a Street, IN*. Y, FEEBEE1C A. BEADY, (Successor to E. D. LONG,) BOOKSELLER & PUBLISHER And N. Y. Agent for the Works Published by T. B, PETEES0I & BROTHERS, PHILADELPHIA, And Publisher of CHARLES DICKENS' HOUSEHOLD WORDS, the most popular Magazine of the day. Subscription, $3.00 per year. NOTICE] TO ALL. F. A. 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I.— ROBERT MAKE-AIRS, with a Characteristic Illustration. II.— BOX AND COX, " 4k III.— MAZEPPA, " 4i IV.- UNITED STATES MAIL, " " V.— THE COOPERS, " " VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, " " VII.— THE RIVAL LOVERS, M " VIII.— THE SHAM DOCTOR, " " IX— THE BLACK DOCTOR, " M X.— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " " XL— THE V1RGINNY CUPIDS, " " XII.— THE WRECK, " " XIII.— THE MAGIC PENNY, »« " XIV.— HOP OF FASHION, " " XV.-MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, « " XVI.— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVIL— UNCLE JEFF, " " XVIII. -WILLI KENS AND HIS DINAH, " " XIX— THE MYSTIC SPELL, " " XX— THE JOLLY MILLERS, " ■* Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's su- pervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. 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NEW YORK : FREDERIC A. BRA 126 Nassau Street. Ce^u^ *, r^l l^.y, •IX /?ff Entered according *o A rt of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clerk's Office of the U. 8. District Court for the Southern District of the State ©f New York. An Act supplemental to an. Act 'entitled u An Act to amend the several ads respecting Copyright" approved February third eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be. it oiacled by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws of the United S'ates to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic corap sition, (le signed or suited for public representation, .shall he deemed and taken to confer upon toe said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, a'ong with the cole right to p int and publi-h the said composition, the side right a'so to act T perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any s f age or public } lace during the whole period for -which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, asttor, or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall bo liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva- lent remedy, with costs of suit in any courf of the United States, such damages in aM eases to be rated and assessed at sach sum not less than one hundred dollars for the firs', and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- n'zance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless. That nothing herein enacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic compoMiion as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by finy manager, actor, or other person, prev ous to the securing of the copyright for (he saio composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author t>> process in equ'ty in any court of the United States for the better aad further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August 18, 1B56. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. W cd § pr ^ "t ~n ** . ji --_ 03 ^< 7 •-t '6 5. cd O - r-»- | a\ EC ~^ <-i- a"* a~ j— i 3" O CD D p zn '~ J a p a!. 2 fTQ CO a" 1 iZ. •-< 3D* o p ST •ars-a s » G^ e^ aq cr K 0> o n s o 1 b !-+■ ?s 3 CD o O s* 3 '- Tas.ll a a ir rr: cb ^ a cd aa as 3 &O ' C ^ w u ^ eg * i? tsa a ■ CD o]a g-ffi-j*-"* a-' p I* a 2 ^"^ -® - * 00 v." * 8 o Is-* § z o 3 3 9 GD a op 2Lcd 13 Zt CD 3 o 2 » zz a' » S- ? S S CD O g ^ i 2 5' M rj 3 o ab 3 p cB i* g 3" cnl -^ ^ £ cr § g"g a a ° # * T T ~ co p 3 r 'D < pj-^-j a? ' Q- ^ CR g3 o o g r cq a. cB ^" a - cd Q" CD EL o •-a t?d HI W Q P O ^ The Jolly Millers. ACT I. Scene* 1. Set cottage, prompt, side. Well in back- ground, centre. A picket fence behind the well. Spinning wheel for Janette, who sits at work. Simon and two Millers are all half asleep on their sacks. Enter Edward. [Music] Ah, my dear Janette, you are up early, aud I don't blame you for it, either ; for it is a most lovely morning. \He turns around, and seeing the Boys asleep, goes and rouses them up.] Come, you lazy rascals, up, I say, up ! [Goes to Simon, and kicks him, Simon kicks up, as if by accident, and it takes effect on Edward. Edward shakes him then again. Simon gets up — they commence to harangue together. Cough heard from the old Farmer, Gerald, within, which stops their quarrel, and Edward hurries off at the side, saying.! Ah ! here is the old man. Enter Gerald, Ah, ha. What, you lazy rascals, are you here yet ? Come, this will never do, Simon, get up, be off ! [He hits Simon with stuffed stick. Helps him up with his sack, and starts him off. Goes to the oth- er Millers, and helps them off cdso. They go off. While helping them, Simon returns and lays down again on his sack. Gerald turns and discovers Simon, who he raps again with stick. He then takes hold of sack, and tries to assist Simon. They have some funny business with the sack. During this time, Edward returns, and makes love to Janette. Simon discovers them, and pushes the old man's face round 8 THE JOLLY MILLERS. to look at it. Gerald then goes around to strike Edward, and aims a bloiv, but he dodges it, and Simon receives it instead. Edward runs off pursued by the Old Man, and as soon as he turns around, he catcfir es a slap from Simon. Gerald starts his daughter in the house. He then returns to assist Simon with the sack of flour. Business.] There, I've got rid of that pest, and now I'll go in the house and understand the meaning of all this. [Exit in house.] Enter Edward. It's all quiet again, and now if I could only get Janette out — I'll try any how. [He taps lightly at the side of the window.] Ah ! I hear some one coming. Enter Simon. [At the same time, Janette comes out of the house. She gestures to him about knocking for her to come out. He don't know anything about it. She then turns to go into the house, but Simon entreats her to remain and have a dance— Music for dance— She consents, and they dance-, as soon as they begin, Edward slaps Simon's ears very hard, and runs off. Simon calls for an explanation about slapping him so hard. They make -it up and begin once more, he gets slapped again— dance again by waltzing round the stage. Janette and Simon sepe- raie here; and in turning round to embrace Janette, he catches Ed- ward. Music, hurry for fight. A fight begins, (comic) which ends by Edward throwing Simon down the ivell] Edward. There, I guess I'll not be bothered with you any more, and now I am off. [Exit] Enter Janette, with watering pot. She goes to the well, gets hold of rope, and as she cannot hoist, looks down well— starts with fright— runs in the house with a scream. Music, hurry. She drags Gerald out of the house by his arm, and brings him to the well, saying,] Father, there's some one in the well ! THE JOLLY MILLERS. Gerald. Hold on, say, stop ! Do you want to kill me. My gracious ! why there's nothing in the well. Janette. Yes there is, father — I'm sure of it for I saw him. Gerald. "Well I'll go back. [Goes to tlue well, and looks doivn.] Dear me ! I don't see anything. Go and get me the lantern. [Janette goes in the house, and returns with lantern.] Oh — what, eh ! oh ! dear — who — there's a man in the well, sure enough. Here, Boys ! [Enter two Millers.] Oh, Boys, hurry — there's a man in the well. [Slight con' fusion.] Catch hold of the rope, may be he's in the bucket, and so we can pull him out. [They all talce hold. Music, three chords — as they pull together three times — at the third pull. Old Man Jails.] Ob, you fools ! what made you let go. | They take hold again as before — at the third pull Simon appears, but suddenly slips through the bottom of the bucket, at the same time those that pull fall down.] Gerald. Ah ! now I have it — I'll fish him out with my trout-pole — he can't break that. [Goes in — gets his pole, and enters.] Now, if I could only hook him — but what will I do for bait ? Oh, I have it. [Pulls bottle out his pocket.] There, I'll give him some of that, and if he's a live man, he'll be sure to bite, for it's an " original package." [Sub- stitute any local term in vogue about liquor. He lowers it down well, and while fishing one of tlw Millers touches his elbow.] Oh my !— what a bite. Oh ! boys, I got him, stand by the well, and catch him when [ pull him up. There, that's him— sieze him ! [The Millers catch hold, while Gerald takes the bottle from him.] There, lift him out. [ The Boys take Simon down front — raise him by the arms and body and shake the water out of him. Three chords, Music ] Gerald Dear me, the fellow was chock-full of water. As I live, it's Simon why, Simon, how's this ? How came you down the well, eh? 10 THE JOLLY MILLERS. Simon pantomimes, and informs Gerald, who thus interprets his meaning .*] So you got fighting, and the young man threw you down the well. My conscience ! what a desperate rogue he must have been. Ah, ha ! I know the scoundrel. I'll have him arrested. What, throw Simon down my well ! Here, boys, go to work. Simon, go and dry your clothes. I'll be off this minute. What, lick my boy, Sime. [Exit. Enter immediately with Janette, who carries a small basket, contain- ing : a bottle, keys, hammer, nut, cake, cup, and small paper of flour — she carries a lantern] Gerald. There, Janette, that will do. Now go into the house. [She refu- ses, he then takes hold of her by the arm and starts her in. He then takes keys out of his basket, and locks the door.] There, I guess you will be safe till I return, and, if I don't mistake, I think you are the cause of all this trouble. Anyhow I'll go down to Squire Palmer's and get a writ of Have-his-Corpus. Goodnes3 Gracious ! to-day is my birth day, and I like to forgot all about it. Why how forgetful ! now, as I am going down to my old friend, the Squire's, I'll have a jolly good drunk. [Exit.] Enter Edward. [Music, Pistacarto.] [He enters, as if listening] And while you're gone, I'll see if I can't get in the house. So here goes for a little serenade to begin with, [Sings with banjo or guitar.] [At the close of his song, Simon enters with violin* Ihey touch each other, as if by accident. Edward gets frightened, goes off to the sids and listens.] Simon commences to play violin — (Orchestra does it.) After a few dismal chords, fyc, he tries to dance Sailor's Hornpipe — no one notices him — he goes to the small window in cottage, spits on the pane, and rubs it with his arm to clean it. He then gets a ladder, Edward does the same, they both grope their way in the dark. Finally, their ladders strike, and each thinks he is right, so both elevate their ladders to ascend the window, THE JOLLY MILLERS. 11 out get the heads of their ladders together. Edward runs up his lad* der, Simon, below, goes] hist, hist, hist ! [with his mouthy Edward thinking it's Janette, points below, and goes down. Edward points up and climbs up, Simon coming down. Edward then goes] hist ! [three times, and Simon ascends again. They are both in raptures at meeting. They feel each other's face and thus discover their mistake — both slide down their ladders. Simon places his ladder against cottage window. Edward sees him, and putting his ladder on Simon's back, slips off and runs away frightened, Simon does the same, but returns and secretes himself in the large bag, Edward returns and hides him- self in a bag also to watch Simon. In getting themselves away they bump together, at which Simon gets against the cottage-door, Edward by the well.] Enter Uerald, with lantern and basket, singing: " I won't go home till morning."] — Well, I've had a jolly good time, and I've left Squire Palmer as drunk as the devil. Dear me ! how did I ever find my way home in the situation I'm in ? Thanks to the moon. She's kept herself hid, and ain't thrown any light on my faults to-night. Now then, I'll see if I got my keys, and then go to bed. I wonder if my daughter is still safe in the house. [He takes his key out of the basket, staggers up to the door, and, placing it against the sack, tries to unlock the door.] Well, well, I believe I'm drunk. I can't find any keyhole. [Takes the lantern and looks for the keyhole.] Dear me ! I never saw my door so clean before. [Sets down his lantern. Simon runs away 9 and Edward takes his place] Gerald. Why as I live there's a sack of flour right before ray door. Never mind, I'll get it in. [Goes to take up sack, but it is smaller than be- fore.] There, now, I know I'm tipsy, for a minute ago it was so high. [Stoops and lifts the sack on his shoulder and carries it off round the end of tlie house.] What careless boys ! to leave my flour out doors all night. 12 THE JOLLY MILLER3. Simon starts and makes some funny moves in the bag to frighten Gerald. Gerald. Ob, dear me ! what is tbat. Oh my ! Speak, or I'll blow your brains out with this basket! Pshaw ! it ain't anything. I'll go put my hand on it if it T s the devil himself. [Goes up and staggers against it.] Gracious, it's some more of my flour. [He tries to lift it up, Simon falls down in the sack. Gerald whirls it round and it trips him down. Gerald gets up, takes his basket, and prepares to sit down on the sack] Now 1*11 take a little something to drink, take this flour in the house, and then I'll, go to bed. [As he sits down, Simon rolls up the stage, which makes Gerald land on the floor. Gerald, disappointed in his seat, after filling his cup from the bottle in the bas- ket, sets it down by his side. Simon drinks it. Gerald eats his cake, takes up his cup, and finding it empty, fills it again, after saying some- thing, and places it again by Ins side. Simon puis the small paper of flour in the cup, so when Gerald drinks he flours himselj completely ] Hallo — hei 1 Thieves 1 murder ! [He gets up, and Simon discovers himself.] Gerald. Hallo, what — a man in the bag ? [He runs at it. Simon opens his sack, and as Gerald makes for him he runs his head in the bag, and Simon runs out of it. Gerald. Heigh, boys. Murder, thieves I Oh, dear ! [Boys run in, with stuffed sticks, and beat the man in the bag. Simon in the corner laugh- ing. Ihe Millers take bag off the Old Man, vj/io is quite exhausted, . . . . Millers, [astonished. \ What— Mr. Gerald ? Gerald. My gracious ! where am I ? [Discovers Simon.] There ! That's the scoundrel who has been the cause of it all. [Pointing to Simon.] Go catch the rascal. Ha, ha ! Si.^on, eh ? Take him away and t v ow him into the horse-pond. THE JOLLY MILLERS. Miller Boy run Simon off.] Gerald. Hold up, boys. Bring him back, and tie Mm up while I knock his brains out with this club. Millers bring in the dummy, who is tied round the waist with a hoisting rope. The men in the wings hoist the dummy. The Millers get hold of his legs, while Gerald aims an awful blow with his large club. Its force knocks off both the legs of the dummy, while the body goes up to the flies. Each Miller having a leg] All form picture. CURTAIN THE END. GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK, No. 3. CONTAINING Qmtbahs, $otas, |Uparte, SKittg Paging*, lectures, gntsrlubjcs, (Kommkums, nxb gmr pots. RENDERED FAMILIAR TO THE PUBLIC BY THIS UNAPPROACHABLE PERFORMER COMPILED AND ARFAYGED BY KS . BYRON CHEISTY' -FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 NASSAU STREET. GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN* JOKE BOOK, USTo. 3. CONTAINING MOTS, CONUNDRUMS, ETC. COMPILED AND ARRANGED BY .EL BlTROlSr CHRISTY- gefo g ff rk: FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 NASSAU STREET CHARLEY FOX'S BIJOU SONGSTER. CONTAINING (Kmrac §mtjo Songs, §uete, Srioa, (S&uHrteita, Jtmwg ^cditws, dialogues, sto- ries, $ok*8, #c. #& BEING THE SECOND SERIES COMPOSED AND SUNG B? CHA S. U. W O X. #tto fork: FREDERIC A. BEADY, 125 NASSAU STREET, BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. m> » <# > * *» FREDERIC A. BRADY, The Publisher of all the most popular and pleasing ETHIOPIAN PLAYS Now before the public, has much pleasure iu announcing that ROBERT MAKE-AIRS; OR, THE TWO FUGITIVES, The first of the uniform series, is now ready. This capital drama has had a run, unprecedented in the annals of the drama — black or white — having been played to overflowing houses, for upwards of one hundred nights, in New York. It abounds in the most laughter-provoking hits — is redolent of the most unctuous humor — full of quaint similes — over- flowing with droll native wit ; while it is, mean- while, free from the slightest tinge of vulgarity. ROBERT MAKE-AIRS Will be followed by the equally famous Ethiopian Play of BOX A.3STO COX. Price 13 Cents Each. FREDERIC A. BRADY. BRADY'S PUBLISHING HOUSE, 1S6 Nassau. Street, 1ST. Y. FEEBEEiG A. BEABY, (Successor to E. D. L01IG,) BOOKSELLER & PUBLISHER And N. Y. Acent for the., "Woir^s Published by T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS, PHILADELPHIA, And Publisher of CHARLES DICKEN3LJ30USEHOLD WORDS, the most popular Magazine of the day. Subscription, $3.00 per year. *~m>~&*ir, Publisher, 126 Nassau Street, N. Y. PRICE 18 CENTS. LETTER-WRITM MADE EASY. SHOWING PLAINLY How to Write Letters upon Almost M GIVING NUMEROUS Examples of Model letters UPON LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, BUSINESS, AND LEGAL AFFAIRS ; SO THAT THE MOST ILLITERATE MAY EASILY LEARN HOW TO COMPOSE AN EFFECTIVE AND CORRECT EPISTLE. NEW YORK: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 Nassau Street. ^fe^g^ 4^— " PRICE 13 CENTS. HOME TRUTHS FOR YOUNG- WIVES. UPON THE MANAGEMENT OF Marriages, Bridal Tours, Christenings, Funerals, Etc. DESCRIBING HOW TO Take and Manage a House ; HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN ; WITH FULL DIRECTIONS ON ETIQUETTE, RECEIVING COMPANY, PAYING VISITS, AND MAKING HOME HAPPY. A, Sew York: jfc FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 NASSAU STREET, FEEDERIC A. BRADY, (Successor to E. D. LONG,) gjrjrftsjtlkr airfr ^xtMisfur, AND NEW YORK AGENT FOR THB WOBKS PUBLISHED BY T. B. PETERSON & MOTHERS, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL AGENT FOR The Balm of One Thousand Flowers a>nd Woodland Cream. Balm of Thousand Flowers perfumes the breath, and eradicates all Tan, Pimples, and Freckles from the Face. Price 50 Cents a Bottle, or three Bottles for One Dollar* Woodland Cream, a Pomadg for Beautifying the Hair. Price 60 Cents a Pot. Per dozen, Three Dollars. 8«y Particular attention paid to miscellaneous orders for Books, Cheap Publications, Magazines, &c. ge.fe gork: FREDERIC A. BRADY, 128 NASSAU STREET. PRICE 13 CENTS. THE PASTRY COOK'S AND fiCTIONER'S ASSISTANT. CONTAINING THE MOST APPROVER AND CHOICE RECEIPTS FOR MAKING ALL MANNER OF Pastry, Pastie§ 5 Tarts, Puddings, PIe§, Jellies, Blanc -manger, and Creams. SHOWING HOW TO MAKE BRIDE CAKES, SAYOY, SPONGE, ALMOND, EATAFIA AND ROUT CAKES, MACAROONS, ROCK AND OTHER BISCUIT. BUNS AW® TEA CAKES. THE BEST METHODS OF Preserving Fruit. THE ART OF SUGAR BOILING, MAKING CANDY. LOZENGES, DROPS, TWIST, CARRAWAY COMFITS. Et c§ ' NEW YORK: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 Nassau- Street. -V^£<^§^ FHICE] ILLUSTRATED, fie en ntnn*T tt'» » ■» y y v v rVvvfvwn In Press. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 cents. George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " " " George Christy's Ethiopian J ok? Book. NVs H - " " BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE PUBLTSHEE OF THE ABOVE SERIES OP POPULAR PLAYS, DRAMAS, BURLESQUES, FARCES, ETC, Which have been so exceeding^ attractive wherever performed— an- nounces that the following works are nearly ready, and can be obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealers in the United States and the British Provinces: NO. I.— ROBERT MAKE-AIRS, with a Characteristic illustration. II.— BOX AND COX, " in.— MAZEPPA, " IV.— UNITED STATES MAIL, " " V.— THE COOPERS, " ki VI.— OLD DAD'S CABIN, " TIL— THE RIVAL LOVERS, " " VIII.-^THE SHAM DOCTOR, " " IX.— THE BLACK DOCTOR, " " X— THE BLACK SHOEMAKER, " * ; XL— THE VIRGINNY CUPIDS, u " XiL— THE WRECK, " " XI I L— THE MAGIC PENNY, M " XIV.— HOP OF FASHION, " " XV.— MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER, M " XVL— PORTRAIT PAINTER, " " XVII.— UNCLE JEFF, " " XVIIL-WILLIKENS AND HIS DINAH, " XIX.— THE MYSTIC SPELL, " " XX— THE JOLLY MILLERS, » Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's su- pervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dra- mas are specially adapted for Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CENTS EACH : 10 COPIES FOE $1. All Orders promptlv attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER AND PROPRIETOR OF THE COPYRIGHTS, NO. 126 NASSAU-STREET, NEW- YORK. .,--' PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. [1SCTS. *««((« CHARLEY POX'S SABLE SONGSTER / t VV TT V T Just Published.— Charley Pox's Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 eents, George Christy's Ethiopean Joke Book, No. 2. Geoige Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. 41 II II "Oh, tltat's the place where my Dinah lives .'" VlLIKENS AND DlNAH. !* ^^ J,::-, y^^^M'^-^/j-MJ NO. fX. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. VILIKENS AND DINAH. % $Jtogr& $mt. IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE. WRITTEN AND ARRANGED BY O. WHITE. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OP CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &a TIME OP PLAYING, TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES. NEW YORK : FREDERIC A BRADY*... J.26 Nassau Street. Entered according & o A it of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Clark's Ofi&ce of the U, S. District Court for tbe Southern D strict of the Stata ©i New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled li An Act to amend the several oxts respecting Copyright," approved February third eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United Statues of America in Congress assembled. That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws ot the United Spates to the author or proprietor, ot any dramatic comp sition, de- signed or suited (or public representation shall bedtemed and taken to confer upoD the said author or proprietor, his heir.s or assigns, a'oug with the >c>le Tight to p-int and publish the said composition, the sole rr x hf a'so to aet, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any s'age or public } lace ouringthe whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor, or other person acting, performing or representing the Said composition, without or against the consent of the sa'd author or proprietor, his heirs or assgns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva, lent remedy, with cost^ of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all rases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the firs', and fifty doMars for every subsequent performance as to the c©>u»rt having cog- n zance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless. That nothing herein enacted sh^ll impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition as aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by siny manager, actor, or other person, prev ous to the securing of the copyright for the saio composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author t'» process m eo,uty in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. ' Appkoved, August 18, 1855. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owi>er r is liabk to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. fe -EPS '^Jigoj B -e g o o a- I W S3 32 s Tj o — a: c > ~ , "5 bc^ • a £ Is o3 i ^^ te ^ <*— rM CU i_, ^s ••""' , O ? = M " 1 > =3 5 " ~ To fc ■§ 5 -o ~sr ^ =" = - 5° 3 3 ^ f — I -egg i t2 ^ -^'^ T c m ts.-s "CIS 6 b J~ § w § b< „. 03 #*» Ji OB jjj, ^j T2 ' C « OJ HgSg'g V 7J ^ OD C) - 1 c? be ^ ^ ^ a «- £ a > ^ ci « ~ ^ ^- r C w 4-s O i.. C O ^ | » g = fe sr-S-s be a a a o S3 ^3 m I To o S ,*0h VILIKENS AND DINAH. ACT I. Scene 1. Two set cottages, one right and the other left. Land- scape, or wood in back-ground. Enter Bumbo, and his daughter Dinah. Dinah carrying basket.] Bumbo. Now, my child, what kind of a collection have you made up for Mr. Sand ford to-day, eh ? Dinah. I have picked out the nicest in the garden. See, father. [Bumbo goes to the basket and looks in.] Bumbo. Yes, my dear, they are very nice. But, la me ! you mustn't send so many of them moss roses — I can't afford it. I wonder where that boy is. [Calls] Edwin, Edwin ! Edwin, [outside.] Here I am, sir. [Enters in his shirt-sleeves with hoe in his hand.] Good morning, Miss Dinah. [He kisses his hand to her. She turns up her nose at hi?n.] Bumbo. Here, Edwin, take these flowers down to Sandford's, and tell hira 8 VILIKENS AND DINAH. to send the money for 'em. Come, now be quick as you can. Come in the house, my child, I want you to read me all about that Sea- Bass war. [Exit both. Gumbo goes in first, Dinah after. Edwin whispers out] Dinah, Dinah, [she turns round by the door and gives him hard face. Edwin. Well thar, I'd eat a live elephant for dat gal, if she would only say, " Ned, I loves you !" [gives a long-drawn sigh, and exits. ; [Whip cracks outside, and noise of the driver, fyc, of a mail coach. Call from post- horn. ~\ Wigsby. Hallo ! here comes some visitors. I'll bet and hope they are all men, as it vill improve my business some. I'll go and sweep up the shop. Enter Vilikens. with bandoox, valise, large bouquet, letter and valentine.] Oh, my, what a dreary place. I don't like this a'ready. But I'll have to stay here though, or else my mother will lick me. Now then I'll look at my directions. [Pulls out letter and looks at it ; spelling B. U. M. — B. 0. [turns around and reads Wigsby's sign ; then reads Bumbo's sign] Oh that's the place vere my Dinah lives. Now I'll just see if I ain't lost 'nuffin, an' then I'll take 'em all by surprise. [Looks at his hat- case, then opens his valise, and shows baby clothes] Ah, them's nice. Wigsby. | Comes out and shoves Vilikens on back, which pushes his head in the valise ] Vilikens. Jumps up and says] Look here ! don't you push me that ere way agin. [Wigsby bows and begs pardon. Vilikens throws out a back- hander. Wigsby takes the slap and comes down in a sitting posture on the band-box, smash. Vilikens. [Cries] Now, there ! See what you have done. My new Sunday YILIKENS AND DINAH. 9 hat. Oh, boh ! What shall I do. My gracious, if my mother only knowd that ; and there's all the crape that I wore for my uncle, that's all spil't, too, [Exit Wigsby. Yilikens gathers up his things, bunglingly as possible, and finally starts to go in the house; just as he enters he is struck on the head by Bumbo who is coming out. Bumbo. Well, sir ; who the devil are you, snooping in my door ? Yilikens. Dont you know me, sir. I'm little Billy Yilikens, vot rites them ere sweet letters to your daughter Dinah. Bumbo. Why ! La, me ! Are you the little chap I saw to my uncle's two years ago ? Yilikens. Yes, sir ! I'm the fellow. Aint I growd ? Bumbo. Growd? Why I should think you had. But come in the house, and I will make some arrangements to entertain you. [Bumbo goes in. Yilikens follows. When Wigsby Runs out of his cottage and goes over to Yilikens, and pulls him down by the arm to the centre of the stage, very polite.] Shave, sir — shave, sir ? Take a seat. Take your hide off in a minute. [Forces him down in his barber's chair, then goes in house.] Yilikens. Oh, gracious! I'm goin' to be shaved. I never was shaved before in my life. What a idea, to be slathered all ober. [Wigsby enters with towels and tools. Yilikens. Say, Mr. Barber, gib me a pair ob mousetaches, and put a towel on, kase I don't want the slather to touch my boosom. Wigsby puts the towel round Yilikens throat, and it disappears through the leg of the chair. Does something, then turns around and discovers the towel gone. He accuses Yilikens of taking the towel. Denial^ $*e. 10 VILIKENS AND DINAH. Places another towel on his throat, which goes through as before. Wigsby surprised, goes in and gets a large sheet. Ties it around his throat so tight tliat he chokes Vilikens, who hollers out so loud that Bumbo enters. Well ! well ! what's the matter ? Vilikens, in agony. Oh, Mr. Bumbo, I'm dead. Dat feller dat keeps de barber-shop has cut my froat. Bumbo. ^ The devil take that barber. He's been playimg his tricks on that fool of a boy. Say, sir ; I think you had best prepare to go home. I don't think I would like to have you for my son-in-law. Yilikens. Mr. Bumbo, I don't want to go home so soon. BUxMBO. Well, my boy, we'll see how you behave yourself. Come ; I'm gettin' hungry, and I guess your appetite must be very sharp after your ride. [Calls Dinah. Enter Dinah. [Wigsby peeping out of his door. Starts very sudden with joy at seeing Vilikens ; they run and embrace.] Vilikens. Why, my dear, dear Dinah, oh how glad I is to see you. Dinah. Oh, Vilikens, how nice you look in your Sunday clothes. Bumbo. Well, well ; they seem to understand each other perfectly. Oh, ho 1 I see how it is. Here, Dinah, give us a little something to eat. Dinah [Sets the table up stage, and then goes in ; embracing Vilikens first. Bumbo. Young man, how do you like your new quarters. Vilikens. Well, I only had four when I started ; and I give the stage-driver one for my fare, an I've got three left. VILIKENS AND DINAH. 11 Bumbo. What the devil are you talking about ? I don't mean your cash quarters. Vilikens. Oh, I thought you did. I'm saving up now. Wigsby. [Steals around very sly, and hooks the string which runs from his bar- ber-pole to Bumbo's wig, and then draws up the wig from his head,] Vilikens. Say, Mr. Bumbo, aint you got any pie ? Bumbo. Pie I Why you've eat enough to kill a horse now ? Vilikens. [Looks at him (Bumbo) astonished, and begins to laugh out and point at his head.] Bumbo. You simpleton ? What are you laughing at ? Vilikens. Oh, what a bawl headed old fellar! Bumbo, [In anger, feeling for his wig, and looking about. Takes Vilikens by the arm and pushes him from table.] What have you done with my wig, eh ? [They both go to get the wig. Bumbo calls for Edwin to get a ladder.] Enter Edwin. [as he comes in he tries to hurt Vilikens, and shows a disposition of hatejor him ; goes to the 1st entrance, and Bumbo and Vilikens at the ladder. Bumpo ascends ; Vilikens is holding it ; Edwin comes up and strikes Vilikens, which makes him let go of the ladder, and Bumbo falls with his wig in his hand. Great confusion, Vilikens is threatened, and very much frightened. Bumbo. Look here, you mischievous devil ! Leave my house quick as pos* sible, and don't never let me see you again. 12 VILIKENS AND DINAH. VlLIKENS. Say, Mr. Bumbo ; you aint a-goin' to clear me away before I get married to Dinah, is yer ? Bumbo. What absurdity ! A good-for-nothing big booby like you. Be off! Dinah. [Feeptng through the door or window, hears her father, and comes out imploring ; but her Jather drives her in the house again immediately, and slams the door.] WlGSBT [Sits in his door, exulting in everyway at every trouble that takes place.'] Yiukens? [Grieves and cries.] Poor little Billy Tilikens ! Kejeeted, and got to go home again, without his Dinah. Oh, dear, what is the world to me now. I'll go drown myself! No ; III die at her door ! Oh, what will I do ? Enter Bumbo. Dear me, I'm afraid my daughter has taken gometbing, for she has grown ill very sudden. What shall I do ? Go for the doctor ? I'll go look again ; perhaps she 's poisoned herself. [Discovers Vilikens before he goes t» J Oh, you scoundrel I You're the cause of all this ? and if I find you here when I return, I'll blow your brains out ! Enter Edwin. Look at me y a victim of despair ! and the object of all my hopes is fast sinking, from the effects of poison ; and you stand tbere, the conjurer of this dreadfuM mischief. Edwin [Frantic with rage, with soldier coat and hat an. Down comes Wigs- by. They talk together. Yimk&ss very much frightened. Wigsby comes over and talks to .Viljkens- also-. Vilikens. Ab, I aint so frightened now the Barber is on my side. And vot's VILIKE5SS AND X>INAH. 13 the use of living now. Ob, Dinah, dear, I'll have satisfaction. If I fall, bury us in one grave. [Music] Yilikrns and Edwin fight m a comic manner, and fi- nally become so weak they blow each other down. Then stagger toge- ther again with a hand full oj flour .each, and dab it in each other's face : falling as they do it.] [Wigsby goes into his shop, sad.] Enter Dinah. staggering, with the jug in her liand. She sees Yilikens — faints, and dies.] Enter Bumbo. Where is my daughter? What ! Edwin dead, and Tilikens, too. Dear me ! what a dreadful tragedy. Oh ! mercy— help. Dinah — Dinah. Ah ! I see it all now, and I have done it with my own cru- elty. What now remains for me ? nothing but to share my daught- er's fate. [He shoots himself with small pistol] Wigsby the last one surviving, cuts his throat with his large razor, and lies down very easy During this time the Orchestra plays Music, slow time.] Red Fire. SLOW CURTAIN. [Toll the gong if you like.] THE END, [Notice. Various ways may be suggested in the finish, such as ! all staggering up and getting together, shake hands, and all fall at once ; or, all rise halt way up in sitting posture, and sing, ". to-ral, lal-lo-ral, &c./ as the curtain falls.] [On some stages the tomb-stone oi each character might be well done after all die, and it would have a good effect also.] 25 KGv, 18c GEORGE' CHRISTY'S... ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK, No. 3. CONTAINING QxxttiottB, Iotas, lUparfres, SHitig J§ agings, ^uteres, |nterlufo$, (tomwfrrums, anft §)mt Hlofs. RENDERED FAMILIAR TO THE PUBLIC BY THIS UNAPPROACHABLE PERFORMER COMPILED AND ARFAffGED BY E. IB Y R O !N^ CHRISTY* $Ufo fotk: FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 NASSAU STREKT. GEORGE CHRISTY'S ETHIOPIAN JOKE BOOK, ISTo. s. CONTAINING MOTS, CONUNDRUMS, ETC. COMPILED AND ARRANGED BY JB. BYZROUST OHKISTY. $tb fork: FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 NASSAU STRBET CHARLEY FOX'S BIJOU SONGSTER. CONTAINING Comic §Sanjo Songs, £hut$,~-$rxos ; (fymxhttte, •• ->««(((! CHARLEY FOX SABLE SONGSTER 'Soup isGood!'* FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. W AASSAU ST. Just Published.— Charley iWs Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 oents. Goorge Christy's Ethiopean Joke Book, No. 2. Geoige Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book> No. 3. *' " " NO. XI. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. 1 THE QUACK DOCTOR. > IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE. By John W. Smith, Played first at the St. Louis Amphitheatre, March, 1851 Presented to C. White,Es j / Q/J i^ Entered according to A tt of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, in the Ork's Office of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State of New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled lt An Act to amend the several acts respecting ( 'tvpyHfjht '' approved February third, eighteen hundred and thirty-one. He. it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of Amerira in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under th** laws <>■ the United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic composition, d* «srn*-d or suited for public representation, shall be deemed and taken to confer upon ) •■<• said author or proprietor, hia heirs or assigns, along with the sole right to p int sin i publish the said composition, the Bole right also to act, perform, or represeut the *;ni)H. or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public I -law during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager, actor % or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva lent remedy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all cases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the firs . and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- n zance thereof shall appear to be just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein • nacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition a* aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by j ny manager, actor, or other person, previous to the securing of the copyright for the said composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process m equity in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August 18, 1856. Notice. — Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. a \> T3 O gs O a- 2. I- B 3 P CL, era p IT °° °*° re — . B ~ g » I' 1 P CO ►B JO =3 H -. •75 =r* re _ ^ !' c 2 * § 8 P re — • °- ^ 2, g. t?d re is _^ 3. & I 3 S- °° a i »; do *" ^ - re Ch5 02 Z 1 — o EL oo re 5 c ° Its - CO »* iti p aq a 0Q re $ I THE QUACK DOCTOR. Scene 1. Two Chairs and a Table, with large bottles and demi* Johns on Table ; a Curtain upon which is painted .•-* " Dr. Squash, Nateral Doctor." Enter Ginger With his knee tied up, limping. He advances to the Tabk. and strikes upon it With his cane. Ginger. Hallo ! Doctor ! Whar de debbil are de doctor ? Here I've walked more'u two miles, and my leg's so stiff and lame, I can't go a step. I wish I had the doctor set one of his sticking plasters onto it, so it couldn't move no how. Doctor ! *HalIo ! \ Enter Julius Cesar with hie eye bound up,] Julius C^sar. Oh, de lord ! Whar's de doctor ? Oh ! my eye ! my eye ! Ginger. What de debbil is de matter wid your eye ? Julius O&sar. Matter ? It's chock full ob matter, and nuffin else. Ginger. How you done it ? Julius C^sar. Why I was gwine down street fodder night, and I met Ned Pep* 8 THE QUACK DOCTOR. per, and sez he, Julius Caesar, what's dat I hear you've been sayin' about me ? Sez I, I hazzen't nuffin' at all to say to you — I don't 'so- ciate wid no sich half price nigger as you be, no how. Wid dat he make a pass at me, and I hit him whar he live, and so we got at it, toof and naih D'rectly I hear sumthin' drap, and what you s'pose it was? Ginger. I guVs it tip. Julius Cjssar. Well, den it was dis identical nigger. Den soon as I got up I made np my mind right off dat somebody'd got a mighty bad eye, and cum to look dat was dis niggar too. But whar's de doctor ?— Doctor ! [Both pound on the table, and cry out for the Doctor.] Enter Crov with his jaw bound up.] Crow. Oh ! oh ! oh ! Doctor ! doctor ! Ginger. Hullo Crow ! Is dat you ? Crow. To be sure it is— I wish it wasn't. Ow, ow, ow ! Julius Caesar. Oh, do hold yer jaw. Crow. Yes, I have to hold my jaw. If I didn't, it would bust out or drap off, Whar's de doctor ? Enter Jumble. (Jumble is a dandy nigger) — who as he enters is talking to himself and gesticulating violently, apparently in a great passion. He walks across the room once or twice before he discovers the other characters, and starts on seeing them ] Jumble. Yes, yes, ob course ; aar yer is, waiting for dat dam quack doctor. He'd orter hab him neck broke, he had. THE QUACK DOCTOR. 9 Ginger. What's de matter wid de doctor ? He's cut you out wid Dinah Primrose. Dat's what ails him. Nuffin else. Jumble You ignoramous niggar ! you knows numV 'bout de merits ob de case. I tell you Dr. Squash duzzent know de fust principals ob de astronomical destruction ob de human frame. Julius C^isar. Let me tell you, he will kill disease a little quicker dan any libing man 'bout dese parts. Jumble. Yes, he kill de disease, nigger and all, only gib him a chance. Julius CLe3ar. It's nuffin' but jealousy ails you, and de doctor hab got you dar — You can't shine when he's about, no how, But whar de debbil is he ? Doc — tor ! [All but Jumble pound the table, and cry out for the doc- tor.] Jumble. Dar yer go agin ! I s'pose you tink de doctor can do as much as ole Aunty Phoebe's plaster. Ginger. What did dat do? Jumble. I'll tell you. [Sings.] Air : " Old Saludy." Dar was a wench libed down our way, Who made a sticking-plaster, And sold so many eb'ry day, She got as rich as master. Chorus. [All the characters join in Chorus, quick.] Sheepskin, beeswax, burgundy pitch and tar ! Debbil couldn't pull it off when you put it dar 1 Di3 plaster was so berry strong 'Twould draw a load ob cotton ; 10 THE QUACK DOCTOR. T'would draw a toof wid seben prong If your teef was gettin' rotten. Chorus. Sheepskin, kc. In a Lottery 'twould draw a prize—* Twould draw a bunch of roses — Twould draw the tears from white folks' eyef, And de breS' from out dar noses. Chorus. Sheepskin, &c. Aunt Phoebe, she one day went dead. You mayn't believe my story~« But dey put a plaster on her head And draw'd her up to glory ! Chorus. Sheepskin, &c. Enter Dr. Squash, with a pair of large saddle-bags, a codfish, r big loaf of bread under his arm, and a chain of sausages around hi *iech In bowing to his patients, he drops the bread and fish severe times, but at length manages to deposit them on thg Table] All. Here's de ole doctor now. Lord bress his soul Doctor, how d'ye do ? We've been waiting for you. Db. Squash. » Ah, gemblemen, how am de state ob your personal corporosty ? It gibs me great pleasure to hab de gratification ob apro^ituatiog to you on dis occasion, and I shall be happy to exasperate my physical and intellectual faculties in your sarvice. Jumble. Physical faculties ! I s'pose dat's what he carries in his saddie bags. I'll put some powder in dar bime by, and blow his physical faculties all to de debbil. [Jumble walks up and down stage in a great ra%e. | THE QUACK DOCTOR. 11 All. Can you cure rae ? — can you cure me ? Da. Squash. Ob course I can : I can cure anything. [He sings.] Air . " My grandfather was a wonderful man." A doctor 1 am ob wonderful skill, I can bleed, I can purge, I can cure, I can kill : I can cut a man's leg off — his arm or his head, I can kill off de living, and raise up de dead. [Spoken.] Yes, I allows dis chile is sumfin ob a doctor. To be sure I don't know much about book larnin', but Ise got it in me nat- eral, and dat's worth all de physiology, anatomology, ictheology, zo- ology, entemology, geology, or debbilology in all de books between dis and California. So [He sings.] So come to me all you niggers wnat's ill, For I am a doctor ob wonderful skill. When a very small boy, my name I made big By inwentinga squeal for an invalid pig ; And as I grew older, my science progressed Till I turned out a doctor right square up and dress'd. [Spoken.] Well, I was an astonishing smart boy when I was lit- tle. I invented a kind ob hair oil so powerful strong dat rub a bot- tle ob it on a brick wall, and in a fortnight's time it would be kiver- ed wid a splendiferous coat ob moss. I'm always inventin sumthin new^ [He sings] So oome to me all you niggers what's ill, For I am a doctor ob wonderful skill ! I knows all de (lowers dat grows in de field, All de wonderful vartnes dat roots and yarbs yield. And all dat may try me will certainly find I can cure all diseases ob body or mind. { Spoken.] Yes, I knows all de flowers dat grows in de field, and 12 THE QUACK DOCTOR. de fairest flower ob em all is Dinah Primrose. Ab ! she am a full- blown rose, she am, and fragrant as de mornin' dew : and dis is de chile what can pick her up — Hallo ! Deres dat dam Jumble watch- in' me. He links be can shine dar, but it's, no use. His shinin' is all cold moonshine, and it takes de warm rays ob my affection to make her bud and blossom in all her glory. But I guess I'd better change de subject — so — — [He sings.] So come to me all you niggers what's ill, For I am a doctor ob wonderful skill. I can cure de cholera, cholic, or cramp, I can cure de worst (evers, coast, typhus, or camp : I am death on de diarreah, can physic oft' fits, And can drive oft de small-pox, widout leaving pilts. [Spoken.] Yes, I can cure all diseases flesh is beir to. I can cure herrings, I can cure bacon, I can cure de botts. lean cure anything from pig's feet to Cholera Morbus, and do it all on nateral principles. So [He sings.] So come to me, all you niggers what's ill, For 1 am a doctor ob wonderful skill ! Well, Crow, what's de matter wid you? Crow. Ob, sicb a tootbacbe, doctor. Dr. Squash, examining Crow's jaw.] 'Tain't de toofacbe. Crow. What is it den ? Dr. Squash, holding out his hand.] Dollar ! Crow. Dollar ? I ain't troubled wid dat complaint. Dr. Squash. Gib me haft a dollar, and I'll told you all about it. THE QUACK DOCTOR. 13 Crow gives him money.] Dar ! Dr. Squash. Well, den, I wants you to substantiate on your understanding dat de occipitital plugatorial bonum, vulgarly called a toof, am not in and within its own individual functuation liable to de fluctuations and sensations which you, nigger, am just now experiencing in a highly antagonistical degree, but on the conterary am entirely unperceptible to de warious contortions and laminations usually ascribed to it, iu its localitory and indigenuous existuation. Darfore, I hold dat it am not de toofache. At de same time, I wish it to be extinctly under- stood, dat de ligameutary struciuation, known as de narvous system, 'casionally penetrates itself into de exterior ob de aforesaid structua- tion, and effectuates de disagreeable ailimentary symptoms in medical phraseology denominated, achabus toothabus. Crow takes a seat in a cliair ; Dr. Squash seats himself at the back of the chair, and produces an enormous pair of forceps, which he' rubs with a great flourish.] Dr. Squash. Stick back your cocoanut. [The Doctor applies the forceps.] Crow. Easy, doctor. Easy. Oh ! oh ! Dr. Squash. Don't open your mouth so wide— I'm gwine to stand on de outside to pull de toof. It's a little hard a startin', but it's bound to come out, if de Lord give me strength. [After a good deal of struggling and yelling, the Doctor hauls out two big wooden teeth with a jerk. Crow falls forward, picks himself up, and runs out : the Doctor falls back with the chair.] Stop dar. Stop dar ! you brack Crow ! come back and pay me for dat oder toof. I've got out two and you've on- ly paid me lor one. Julius Caesar. Gorra mighty 1 I'se glad I ain't got de toofache— if dat's de way 14 THE QUACK DOCTOR. you cure's inn. You can't pull de nigger's eye out wid dem instru- rpints, though — so jess see what you can do. Dr. Squash. Dat's a very wiolently excite 1 inflamatery inflamation ob de obtic- ular membrane superinduced by a highly irritated irritation. Julius Cesar. Wall, now, if I didn't tink dat was wot ailed me all de time. But you can cure me ? Dr. Squash. Oh? yes. Terms invariably in advance : money down afore I do a ting. Julius C^ar. To be sure [He pays the Doctor. \ Now go ahead. Dr. Squash. You will see Not out ob dis eye. Julius Cesar. Dr. Squash. Shut up ! What do you know about it ? Julius Cesar. Go ahead, Doctor. Ise a hark'nin*. Dr. Squash. De trouble am jess here. [Gesticulating.] Julius Cesar. Tain't no sich ling — de troubble's in my eye. Dr. Squash. You chuckle-headed nigger you. If you interrupts me ag'iri, I'll take and break my arm across your jaw. The difficalty, I say, is jess here : dis inflamatory intimation is in consequence of its progressive and locomotive tendancy, maintains an active inclination to exagger- ate itself throughout the cuticuliary system generally, and by its own extraneous action, may produce the most serious consequences. Con- sequently, there is but one remedy. Julius Cesar. Ltfrd a massy ! You doa't mean THE QUACK DOCTOR. 15 Dr. Squash whetting thumb-nail an Jus shoe.] D'ye see dat thumb-nail ? Yah 1 yah! Julius Caesar. Gfrrra ! gorra ! Let me up, doctor. No gouging ? D&. Squash. Who said anything 'boitf gouging ? I'm merely gwine to per- form a scientific operation in a natural manner. Julius Cj&sar kicks, struggles, and yells, but the Doctor keeps the advantage.'] Dr. Squash. You needn't kick so — it's no use, nigger — Ise got yer right by de wool. Whew. Julius Cesar. Oh dear ! oh ! oh ! Murder ! Jumble. tries to interfere, but is restrained by Julius Cesar. Both display much excitement while the struggle is going on. Dr. Squash. Now see how nice I'll do it. ] After a great deal of struggling, he succeeds in gouging Julius Caesar, and holds up an eyeball on the end of his thumb] Whew ! Yah ? yah ? Dar it is. Hold on a min- it till I spit in your eye and clap on a plaster. [He puts a plaster on Julius Caesar's eye, and both get up] Dem's um. [Julius Caesar flies around in great rage and pain, and finally exits.] Dar's anud- der wonderful cure. I'll get my name up afore long. Jumble. Doctor, I wants to ax you a question. Dr. Squash. Well, ax me — ax me, why don't you ax me ? Jumble. And I wants you to gib your opinion as a medical man. Dr. Squash. Ob course, ax me — why de debbil don't you ax me ? 16 THE QUACK DOCTOR. Den supposin' Yah. ' Jumble. Dr. Squash. Jumble. Dat dar was a hogshead full ob whiskey, and at one end dar was a nigger at de tap a suck in' out de whiskey, and at de odder end dar was a bullgine ob forty hoss-power purapin' whiskey into de hogs- head, a-n-d s'posin' dat de bullgine woodent stop pumpin', and de nig- gar woodent let go de tap — now, I wants to ax you, doctor, wedder in your opinion de hogshead or de nigger would bust de soonest. Dr. Squash. De nigger ob course, for under dera circumstances de colored ini dividual was bound to hub a bust, anyhow. Yah ! yah ! Yer fort yer'd cum de suck ober de old doctor dat time, but you got sucked in about a feet, I reckon. Yah ! yah ! Now, Ginger, I'll attend to your case. Ginger. Sich a stiff knee, doctor, it's awful. Dr. Squash. I can cure dat easy enuff. Here, pint 1 Ginger. What ? Tip ! Dr. Squash. Ginger, Oli } T es. [He hands him money.] Dr. Squash. Here's a box of my electro-magnetic pills. Take ten ob 'em eb'ry quarter ob an hour throughout de day, and in a fortnight or so, you will be better. Take a dose now. [Ginger fakes several pills with many wry faces.] Dey's all down, am dey ? Now you must take some ex- ercise, or dey will neber operate. Jumble Conceals himself u0^t)ie Table] THE QUACK DOCTOR. 17 Dr. Squash speaking to Ginger.] Travel ! Slide ! [Dr. Squash points for him to move off. Ginger looks first at the Doctor, then in the direction to winch lie points, and the Doctor kicks him a posteriere. Ginger starts off, limping, at full speed, and is followed by Dr. Squash, who kicks him whenever he can. Ginger finally makes his exit, hastily.] Dr. Squash, I reckon Isc got some ob de still out ob his knee. [Enter Dinah Primrose ] Eh — n>m ! Is dat you, honey ! Plow you do to-day ? g'ad to see you. I s'pected you'd be here, and dar's some prepara- tions, [Pointing to provisions. \ Dinah. Ab, doctor, I don't tink I'm quite so well to day. I'm troubled berry bad jest now. I feel shocking here. [She places her hand on heart. ] Dr. Squash. You don't tell me dat? Den it's my indomitable 'pinion you is troubled wid an affection ob de heart. But I can cure dat. Let me feel your pulse. [He feels her pulse, and then places his hand with Dinah's in it in his breeches 1 pocket. Jumble looks up] Golly ! i can't stand dat. I'll have to drap him d'rectly. Dr. Squash. Say, Dinah, what you tink ob dat Jumble ? Dinah. Oh ! bress me ! He'ejest de most conceited imperent nigger lev- er did see. Den he tmks he's good looking, too, and so he is — only he isn't — yah ! yah ! Jumble, greatly excited.] Dar now, he put dat into her head. Dat's sum ob his woik, for she knows mighty well dat Ise de best looking niggar in dis whole county. He'll raise de debbil wid dat gal yet Dr. Squash. Dinah duck! [He kisses k&rj 18 THE QUACK DOCTOR. Jumble. Dar, dar ! I know'd it all de time. Jess as I s'pected. I s'pose ^e calls dat a scientific operation performed in a nateral manner, too But I'll fix him out. [The Doctor's saddlebags are on the table, and Jumble puts some fire- crackers in one side of them.] Dinah. Oh, Doctor, you Sessional gemmen hab such winnin' ways. Jumble touches off the crackers and conceals himself. Dinah faints in the Dr's vrms. He drops her, siezes the saddlebags and sits down on them — bouncing up every time a cracker explodes, Dinah picks herself zip, watches Dr. Squash, shaking with fright. Dinah. Bress me ! How scared you be, doctor. [She helps the Doctor up, and keeps her arm around him.'] Dr. Squash. No, I ain't scared, — but I would like to know what de debbil got into my saddlebags. I'd tink it were sum trick ob dat dam Jumble — but he's been out ob de way dis haff hour. Dinah. Yes, and he'd better keep out ob de way ; nobody wants him here. Dr. Squash kisses her.] | I must pay you for dat obserwation. Jumble runs up behind him, knocks htm down, and conceals himself as before. Tlie Doctor gets up, and looks around astonislted. Dr. Squash. Oh, gorra ! gorra ! What was dat ? Sumthin' hit me den. [fee- ling.] I know dar did, 'kase dar's a big bunch on my head. I know somebody hit me. [A great uproar behind the scene.] Dr. Squash, and Dinah. Good gracious, what's dat. Enter Ginger, Julius Cesar, Crow, and Mob, shouting. THE QUACK DOCTOK. 19 JUMBLE comes out from under the Table. (The more characters on at this time the better. The whole form- ing a Mob, with pitchforks and all kinds and afcges of clubs. Crow. Dar he is I Julius C^sar. Knock his eye out ! Ginger. Gib it to him ! Crow* You've done it nice, you hare. Julius C^sar. Call yourself a doctor, do you? You've set up for a doctor fres Weeks, and killed more'n dan a dozen niggers in dat time. Dinail I don't b'lieve dat. De doctor's a gembleman. Crow. Ben I suppose his wives is all ladies—and he's got more'n a do&eti ob dem. He's a reg'lar ole rooster, he is & Jumble. Dar, dar ! you hear dat, do you 1 Dinah. Yes, I do. [To Dr. Squash.] On ! you wlllin' ! you impostor I You ought to be rid on a rail you had — Say, Jumble, won't you for* give me ? Jumble. I don't know 'bout dat. A little more and he'd a been the ruina* tion ob you. Dinah. Yes, I s'peck he would. But I'm berry sorry. [Puts h§r arm$ around his 7ieck.] Jumble * You won't nebber, nsbber do so not no morg ? 20 THE QUACK DOCTOR. Dinah. No ! [They embrace and make up.] Dr. Squash grabs his saddlebags.] I am sorry to leab you, but I must go. All. No, you don't ! Dr. Squash tries to escape, but the Characters form a circle round him, and pre- vent him at each attempt.] Air : " I've been roaming." Chorus : No you don't, sab, no you don't, sah ! No you don't get off so clear : No you don't, sab, no you don't, sab ! We've got business for you, here. You ex-boot-black — You rascal quack — We'll make you pack For de back track, And neber show your face again, Anywhere about dis place again. Crow. But, stop a minute — we ain't through wid you yet. I've eome back to pay you for dat odder toof. [Dr. Squash tries to breakout.] Eh — ur ! No yer don't. Air : •« Five pound note." Chorus : No you don't, sab, no you don't, sah ! No you don't get oft so clear : No you don't, sah, no you don't, sah ! We've got business for you here. Crow and Jumble sieze the Doctor.] Jumble. What shall we do with him ? Ginger. Run Mm out ' THE QUACK DOCTOR. 21 Julius Caesar tries to get at Dr. Squash.] Gouge him, gouge him ! Crow gets out the forceps.] Pull eb'ry toof out ob his head ! Jumble. Hang him ! Dinah. I tell you something wuss dan dat. Gib him a dose ob his own physic. All. Dat's de ting ! Dat's it. Jumble. And den we can hang him afterwards. Dr. Squash. Oh, mercy ! mercy ! Hang me fust. All v get him on his knees.] Ginger. Gib us de die^stuffs ! J hey open the saddlebags, and by pounding and cuffing make htm %wallow various kinds of medicines from the saddlebags, and bring the bottles and demfohns into operation, Dr. Squash dies with a great deal of kicking. More doses cause him to revive, and he is raised to his feet, much exhausted, by two characters, who support him J Ginger. Dat physic will neber operate in de world, widout gibin* him sum exercise. Dinah. Dat's it. Trot him out ! Dr. Squash drops upon his knees.] Gib me time to say my prayers ! The Characters form two lines and make Dr. Squash run he- tween them, kitting him as he passes. He then runs round the stage, followed by Julius Cjbsar, Crow, and the others, '• single file ;" the 22 THE QUACK DOCTOB. foremost stirring him up with a stick. He falls, an I the others fall over him, but he extricates himself and runs out, followed by all the rest. (Notice* Fireworks may be rung in the finish to suit the fancy.) CURTAIN. tits %m* 18 Aprl .I860 nw m rn * mu HOME TRUTHS™ 1 FOR YOUNG ¥IYES, UPON THE MANAGEMENT OF PARTIES MARHIAGKES, CHRISTENING AND FUNERALS. —ALSO HOW TO PREPARE TOR AND GO UPON A WEDDING TOUR, HOW TO TAKE, FURNISH, AND MANAGE A HOUSE. Price, 13 Cents, F. A. BRADY, Publisher, 126 Nassau St., N. Y. . THE PASTRY COOK'S AND CONFECTIONERS ASSISTANT. Containing the most approved and choice directions for making all manner of PASTRY, PATTIES, TARTS, PIES, PUDDINGS, JELLIES, BL^NC-M^JSTGKES -AJSTID CREAMS. Showing how to make BRIDE CAKES, SAVOY, SPONGE, ALMOND KATAFIA, AND ROUT CAKES,] MACAROONS, ROCK, AND OTHER BISCUITS, MM, BATHBUSS, AND TEA CAKES. 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BRADY would state that he is now selling all his Publications at prices which are, in themselves, a very special inducement to Dealers, whatever may be the extent of their trade, to open accounts with him His discounts, as is already well known, are larger than those of any other house in the trade; a fact which will, he trusts, induce all dealers who are not already in correspondence with him to jrive him a trial. He deals in and supplies everything of interest to the trade, and sells at prices which cannot fail t<» give the most thorough satisfaction. Booksellers and News Agents would do well to order direct from the Pu Wisher, as they will be supplied at an earlie.r date than they can possibly get them from other houses. 3STE^T BOOK1S NOW KEAIDY. By G. W. M. Reynolds. Empress Eugenie's Bou- doir, complete paper, TSie Young Duchess, com- plt-te .. 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Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3 7. 13 Christy's Clown Joke Book, .. 13 BSF" Any Work in this list will be sent to any place, free of postage, on receipt of price. Address as above. &3T Brady's Mammoth Catalogue of all the best and most popular Books sent free of postage. Send Cash Orders to FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 Nassau St., N. Y. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED, A *- Al )))))' ••«(((( CHAKLEY FOX'S ETHIOPIAN SONGSTER. Itb -garfc: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 NASSAU ST. In Press. — Charley Fox's Bijou Songster. Price 13 centSo Georgre Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " «« h George Christy's Ethiopian Jok<» Book. Nv» - a - " M «• BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. ^i.#>«^ The Publisher of the above series of popular Plays, Drama, Burlesques, Farces, etc., Which have been so exceedingly attractive wherever per- formed—announces that the following works are ready, and ran be obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealer* in the United States and the British Provinces: 3VO. I.- Robert Make- Airs, II.— Box and Cox, III.— Mazeppa, IV.— United States Mall, V.— The Coopers, VI.— Old Dad's Cabin, VII.— The Kival Lovers, VIII.— The Sham Doctor, IX.— Jolly Millers, X.— Villikins and his Dinah, XI.— The Quack Doctor, XII.— The Mystic Spell, XIII.— The Biack Statue, XlV.-Uncle Jeff, XV.— The Mischievous Nigger, XVI.— 1 he Biack Shoemaker, XVll.— The Magic Penny, XVIII.— The Wreck, XIX, -Oh, Hush ! or, the Virginity Cupids, XX.— The Portrait Painter, XXI.— The Hap of Fashion, XXII.— Bone Squash, XXIII.— The Virginia Mummy, XXIV.— Thieves at the Mill, XXV.— Comedy of Errors. Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's supervision. The utmost care has teen given not oniy to the correctness of the text, but to ail the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dramas a~e specially adapted for Ethiopian entertainments, they are weli fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CENTS EACH : 10 COPIES FOB $1. AU Orders promptly attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, Publisher and Proprietor of the Copyrights, No. 126 Nassau Sheet, N T. *-»«*^7 *S PER fo R M W -< 5> >C CHARLEY WHITE. JLULO NEW-YORK : FREDERIC A. BRADY Price XO. 12G NASSAU-STREET. 13 Cents, iA A A i> ttAi^fMi ))»>• FRED. SHAW'S DIME AMERICAN COMIC SONGSTER CONTAINING A SELECTION OF COMIC SONGS, COMPOSED AND SUNG BY FRED. SHAW, THE UNRIVALLED AMERICAN COMIC VOCALIST, 9*fo-gorR: FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 NASSAU ST. >))>»»' *«tc«(@^£ Just Published.— Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 cents. G«orge Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. " " M George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. " " " NO. XII. BRADY'S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. THE MYSTIC SPELL. % |)aut omime. 3H IN SEVEN SCENES. ARRANGED BY BY C. WHITE. And first played at his Opera House, 49 Bowery, N. Y., October, 1855. WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARAC- TERS, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c. TIME OF PLAYING, THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES, NEW YORK : FREDERIC A. BRAD (Successor to H. Long & Bro,) 126 Nassau Steket. Entered according to A it of Congress, BY F. A. BRADY, In the Clerk's Offlce of the U. S. District Court for the Southern District of the State •f New York. An Act supplemental to an Act entitled "An Act to amend the several acts respecting, Cf^/right." approved February third, eighteen hundred and thirty one. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That any copyright hereafter granted under the laws <>! th* United States to the author or proprietor, of any dramatic composition, de siern^d or suited for public representation, shall be deemed and taken to confer upon »*•♦> said au t hor or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, along with the sole right to print an 1 publish the said composition, the sole right also to act, perform, or represent the same, or cause it to be acted, performed, or represented, on any stage or public I lace during the whole period for which the copyright is obtained ; and any manager. arfj»\ or other person acting, performing or representing the said composition, without or against the consent of the said author or proprietor, his heirs or assigns, shall be liable for damages to be sued for and recovered by action on the case or other equiva lent remedy, with costs of suit in any court of the United States, such damages in all oases to be rated and assessed at such sum not less than one hundred dollars for the first, and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance as to the court having cog- n zance thereof shall appear to bo just ; Provided nevertheless, That nothing herein enacted shall impair any right to act, perform, or represent a dramatic composition a* aforesaid, which right may have been acquired, or shall in future be acquired by jiny manager, actor, or other person, previous to the securing of the copyright for the eaia composition, or to restrict in any way the right of such author to process in equ'ty in any court of the United States for the better and further enforcement of his rights. Approved, August IS, 1856. Notice.— Any Manager permitting this work to be performed in his Theatre, without the written permission of the Owner, is liable to a penalty of not less than one hundred ^dollars for each perform- ance, in conformity with the new Copyright Act as above. t-ri *■*• P pj 3 2- « P DPS *-. 3 3 * -* * ro O «> SS «-*■ tt> P T3 ss If II io O ^ o° a 3 CO *S. 5* oq p o SI ft p ft ft. S ft to CD CD O fea- ts p zA 3 1 £ ^ o. £. o O co 3 ■ . p w! o 3 R 5 c o 5*3 ^ p p ^ o p 5 -* o 3 5 3 •73 O 3 «8 P P 3 I ^ ** is* •— • v; CD aq ^ p fed o H H O P 12. U g = 3 ■kg? - p^ 3 q- c S- en Oq ° 2T 31 -"3 2. P P «5 l as St 3 -•on? * <*> — Cu j a> a> p CO a-" ■sal GO 3 i ft ft ft * C/2 fcO M kw -a •-a DO 3 8*^ *- a coo ^ XL; o> ts. p <"-*-■• ^ § P ^ Q* P 5 ^ •-»»« p " ? B OD P, S- hrH O a So S P 3 P s, 3' CZ2 ^5 H *%* 2 p a M "J P o 3 2 5" Qj t o • 3 Q? 2 • £2.£ P. H o b •J 53,3 §1 • i t * S • = §-? J«g .22 i ~^ "5 Till" s> £ 5= ^p I Soi ^ — CO X c t - - I ^2 3 5 2 ■ V W % ■si O A •*e *f bc* d H J .£. "js I J ^ 1 s s 1 4 « .= •- "^ ^° -a ,£ 5 j= ;c ^ # ? s- 53 -X ■ 6 as"* - s- I C3 C — -~ Y^ » 9 50 s » s- = no 53 .- Q3 CO 00 «3 3 I I .2 o - "2 *^ jr. & 5 £ = £3 c3 - I §"3 g ? J. ~ (sc T2 •~ s "^ © Ik fee a 3-«:.« sli £ +■» I * I 53 (D » O CO © u It -2 S v o « « 12 © o> |> «5 g « « g -g ^COCO^J |35S^ CO o g ^T3 nEqq CO ^^ 05 -4-J . O 2 M C wi-i CO ^ i-r-5 O cm o GO a a o *"5 C &5 2 r^ c5 ! ^ ^3 S be S3 *« O 1 To c co t£ ©CO ro — . o 03 ja ■*■> o o .2 o3 fco^ 03 e2"^ .2 M *Bv S J- bJ3 c5 a o a CO g ^jCO co . r— I <"0 CO 03 J Ji INCIDENTAL SKETCH, For Posters and Programmes. Joe Dobbs and Swillem relating their beautiful dream. Gooc toddy speaka for itself — Large heads — Lucky redemption of the Spi* rit of the Mist — Reformation promised, and Disappearance of Dark- ness. Tillage Inn, a Traveller — The lucky Talisman, and oath — Trans formation of characters— Fun and Frolic now in order — Tricks upon Travellers — A shooting Scrape — Curious Disappearance— The Mar* ket-woman in trouble, and much fighting. Room in Hotel — Great demand for good things — Mysterious can- dle—A funny Head— Lots of Sausages—More Mouths than one to feed. Fishing Excursion — Dice — Bad Oarsmen— Separation of two Friends. Return from Fishing — Awful interruption by Demons — End of the Mystic Spell— Harlequin and Columbine's flight to the Castle in the Air. Gea^d Tableaux. THE MYSTIC SPELL. Business Scene 1. A mist gauze. Music. Joe Dobbs and Jack Swillem discovered drunk, sitting down with their backs against post, L. s., (post on trap, l.) with large heads on, strip Pantaloons and Coats* ga.s down.] Jack. I say, Joe, do you know that I had a curious dream just now. I thought that this post moved away, and the night grew so dreadful dark that you couldn't see your hand before your face . then I thought there was a lovely creature who appeared to both of us, and said we would prosper if we'd only let rum alone. We both consented, and at this every thing changed to light and loveliness. Say, Joe, don'i you hear me talking to you ? Shaw ! he's so full of beer he can't hear anything. Well, then I thought we kinder lost our speech, but we didn't want for anything and so we went on from day to day — the two jolliest fellows in the world, and after a while we kinder got in a brilliant Palace among a lot of fairies. Say, Joe, wake up, I hear some one coming. May be it's the watchman, (Gong.) Faiey appears through the trap. Swillem shakes Job. | There, I told you so. Here's the watchman, and w* are goners for the season. Fairy. Listen, ye straggling elve3 ! Rouse from thy slamb'ring lethargy THE MYSTIC SPELL, and be as men, gay and lifelike. Fear not ! I am aspirit of the mist, and would serve you. Your dream is o'er, and shall be verified oa one condition. Jack and Joe. My gracious ! what a kind watchman. Name it. Fairy* That you, from this time forth, banish all your former habits of in temperance. Promise this, and you shall pass from your presen state of misery to fun and gaiety ! Jack and Joe, We promise ! Fairy. *Tis well. I'll trust you, and now prepare '. Black, thickening mist disperse ! And give us day. I'd have it sunshine. Away, away I [Goho. The gauze mist rolls up, and disappears. The post goe$ down the trap. Jack and Joe exit, one on each side, staggering off* Gas lights up, and discovers Landscape or Village Scene.] Enter William, [l. v. e., fatigued and exhausted, he leans for support against the cottage. The Fairy discovers him.'] Fairy. Ah ! a poor traveller. In distress, no doubt. I'll speak to him. [Taps him on tlie shoulder With wand. He starts with fright at seg« 4ng her face.] WlLLIAK. What a lovely creature. Fairy. Unhappy mortal ! What is thy wish ? William. Once again to see those I love, and have my boyhood days all o'er* Fairy. What if I promise you all this ? Wilt thou be faithful to my commands ? THE MYSTIC SPELL. 9 William. Yes : even unto death. Fairy. Take this rose*. Kneel, and swear what you have promised, and you shall be happy !. William kneels. Music. Her cloak flies off.] Fairy. Behold my power, and now commence thy work. [She touches him with her wand, which changes him to Harlequin ! He strikes his bat on both sides, which brings on Joe and Jack.] Columbine. And now, ye lazy rum-heads of the town, I transform you both : You, as Pantaloon — and you, as Clown i [Clown and Pantaloon strip and make transformation. Grand Rally by all four, Clown, Pantaloon, Harlequin, and Columbine. All exit. Scene changes to A Street, or thick Wood Enter Harlequin and Columbine, followed by Clown and Pantaloon, each surveying their new clothes • They discover Harlequin, and go get gun to shoot him.] Pantaloon shoots Harlequin.] I'll go tell the constable. [Exits and returns with board.] Here, Joe, let's take him to the doctor's. Harlequin is lying on the stage. They put him on the board various ways. Busi* ness.] Pantaloon. Lets put him in a bag, and throw him into the river. [Brings in and lays it over the trap. They get him on his feet over the trap, and lift the bag about him.] Columbine gives the cue, and Harlequin ts taken down trap. His disappearance cdus&s much cmfiiston. 10 THE MYSTIC SPELL. Pantaloon Oh ! you've got him in your pocket. Clown. Me ? how dare you ? [He strikes at him with the empty bag, and just misses the tall trick-woman, who enters at this moment] Clown and Pantaloon both speak.] Oh my ! vat a beauty ! [ They pall her about in various ways. Finally Clown takes her by the body , and the legs chase after Pantaloon.] Harlequin enters, shakes his bat, and the Market-woman enters. They have business with her, and while Pantaloon is talking to her, Clown takes her apron off, and puts it on himself. Pantaloon upsets her basket and the contents fall behind in the apron which is on Clown. She goes off but missing her stuff, comes back, and beats Pantaloon's back around the stage, gets tripped up, tyc. All exit. Scene changes to a Boom in Hotel. Harlequin and Columbine cross. She takes chair. Clown shouts outside. She disappears.] Enter Pantaloon and Clown, with hats on. TJiey order the Waiter, and strut about consequential- ly] Bring us some segars. Waiter. How many, gentlemen ? Both. Four for a cent. [Exit Waiter, and brings in the two large segars. Pantaloon and Clown eacli take one, and strut towards tlie table, and sit down. — Pantaloon tries to light his but the candle is drawn slowly over to the other end of the table. Pantaloon don't notice it, but complains of his segar being bad. Clown now attempts to light his and th$ candle goes bade again, vdhich frightens him, and he gets up. Pantaloon* OK, you're crazy ! THE MYSTIC SPELL- H Clown sits down again, and Pantaloon tries to light Ids segar. This time, the candle is drawn over very sudden. It startles both, and they shout for Waiter] Enter Waiter. Yel, shentelmen, vot vill you have ? Both. Punch. [Exit Waiter, who returns with large tin pan, two tin cups, and a dipper. He places them on Table and exits.] Clown and Pantaloon seat themselves, and drink. While doing so Harlequin puts his head up through the bottom of the pan, and looks at both Clown and Pan- taloon. After considerable fright they resume drinking again, and the third time Harlequin puts the bladder through.] Clown cuts off the head, as he thinks, and they each knock it about, and then order Waiter agoing Waiter comes at the call.] Clown and Pantaloon. Give us something tG eat. Waiter. Yat vill you have ? Some sandvich.es ? Both. Yes! Waiter brings sandwiches, they each grab one and commence eating.] Harlequin causes them to stand ship fed.] Pantaloon, x returning to their senses, finds an oval looking-glass in his hand, d Clow# discovers his nose ali covered with cJwILl 12 THE MYSTIC SPELL. Pantaloon gives Clown the glass to look at himself, when Clown breaks it over Pantaloon's head, or any other way most desirable.] [Sausages are next brought in, and given to Pantaloon, who licks them with his tongue.] Clown snatches them away.'] Pantaloon. Them's mine ! Clown slaps him in the face with them, saying at the same time ;] Take 'em. Pantaloon goes for the pan. Then he goes for a candle and candle stick to cook them by, sets it down by where Clown sits down to cook. Some one in the wing pulls the string of the candle stick and takes it off.] Business by Pantaloon and Clown. [The mistake about cooking is discovered, and they move up to the fireplace to cook them.] Pantaloon attaches the string that runs from the working portrait to the sausages in the pan ; presently, they are drawn up to the mouth in fiat, which scares them both. As they are swallowed the large eyes work, and Fire- place changes.'] Clown is so frightened that he strikes Pantaloon on the head with frying* pan.] Pantaloon runs off with it on his head. Scene changes to a Fancy Room, or any other. Enter Harlequin and Columbine. [They dance the Polka.] Pantaloon and Clown enter at the close of this dance. They have some little business. Make THE MYSTIC SPELL, IS rally /or Harlequin. Clown gets tripped vp, and Pantaloon wheels him off by his heels. Scene changes to a Landscape. Set waters — Foreground — Boat with pair of oars in.] Harlequin and Columbine cross. Clown and Pantaloon enter, each with a fishing pole. Business. They both fish.\ Clown catches a small fish.] Pantaloon catches a large fish, which is lettered C U B A .] Notice. The fish here can be made to answer any local subject of the day.] Clown unhooks the large fish for Pantaloon, and tries to run away with both, but is caught and brought back. He then exits, and returns bringing in a large bag, marked §30,00 ; 000, which is offered for the fish, but refused. Puts them in the boat and leaves. He returns bringing in Dice.] Pantaloon throws first] Clown throws next.] Both dispute about their throw.] Pantaloon insists upon his throwing the Dice from the Box, instead of the Keg, as then he cannot finger the Dice.] Clown goes and gets Tin Cover, places it upon the wooden Dice, lifts it up and drops it in Keg, Ihen excuses himself, and shows the Tin Dice under the Cover.] Both quarrel] 14 THE MYSTIC SPELL. Pantaloon gets knocked down.] Clown carries him and lays him on Keg, covers over his Dice, and places it on Pantaloon's breast.] Harlequin fiies past and strikes Tin Cover] Pantaloon screams and jumps up. The Bice has disappeared, and Clown throws it out of the Keg, to show thut it had passed through Pantaloon. Harlequin passes.] Pantaloon recovers and says :] Let's go a fishing. Both start to get in the Boat. Each pull the other away to get in first — fi- nally both get in. Business, and the Boat seperates in two parts, go- ing off each side. Scene changes to a Street, or Wood, (same as the third.) Enter Harlequin and Columbine fatigued. Par sued by Clown and Pantaloon, who seperate them once or twice.] [Notice. Clown and Pantaloon enter from the side they were carried in the boat, and appear as if exhausted by swimming. Thev recognise each other and attempt to shake hands.] Harlequin strikes his bat, and two Demons appear through the front traps, one on each side.] Pantaloon and Clown are siezed and led off by them in great fright, and just as tliey are re- viving Harlequin fiies past them. Clown and Pantaloon attempt io pursue him but he commands them (Gong) with his bat, and they stand motionless. Scene changes to the THE ATCSflC SPELL. 15 SEVENTH and LAST. A Dense Cloud, brilliant with metal. Two Columns with an Arch over them, A pair of Stairs running in the Cloud with re- volving Sun in the rear.] Notice. A full set of revolving columns may be used if desired ; providing the parties feel disposed to go to that expense.] Harlequin and Columbine enter, run and ascend the stairs and form Picture.] [Two Knights in armor, stand in tlie foreground in front of the Columns, with drawn swords — point resting on the stage. When Clown and Pantaloon advance, both the Knights charge at them.] Pantaloon and Clown fall] The Demons rush in, torch in hand, and claim their victims.] ALL FORM PICTURE. Red Fire and Slow Curtain. Grand Tableaux* THX IMP. I [18 Apr! .1860 HOME TRUTHS I FOR YOUNGS "WIVES, UPON THE MANAGEMENT OF PARTIES MARRIAaES, CHRISTENING AND FUNERALS. ALSO HOW TO PEEPARE FOR AND GO UPON A WEDDING TOUR, HOW TO TAKE, FURNISH, AND MANAGE A HOUSE. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher, 136 Nassau St., N. Y. THE PASTRY COOK'S CONFECTIONER'S ASSISTANT. Containing the* most approved and choice directions for making all manner of PASTRY, PATTIES, TARTS, PIES, PUDDINGS, JELLIES, BLANC-MANGES AND CREAMS. Showing how to make BRIDE CAKES, SAVOY, SPONGE, ALMOND RATAFIA, AND ROUT CAKES,] MACAROONS, ROCK, AND OTHER BISCUITS, BOS, BATHBOS, ASD TEA CAKES, The best methods of Preserving Fruit, the Art of Sugar Boiling, Making Lozenges, Drops, Pipe, Barley-Sugar, Twist, Carraway Comfits, &c, &c. Price, 13 Cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher, 126 Nassau Street, N. Y. New, Complete, Useful, and Cheap. ■i — i LETTER WRITING MADE EASY, SHOWING PLAINLY How to Compose Letters upon almost every Subject. AND GIVING NUMEROUS EXAMPLES OP MODEL STYLES FOR Letters on Love, Friendship, Business, Legal Affairs, So that the most illiterate may easily learn to write an effective and correct epistle. B3T Copies sent, postage free, on receipt of 13 cents. F. A. BRADY, Publisher of "Dickens' Household Words" 126 Nassau Street. HOW TO COOK AND HOW TO CARVE, GIVING PLAIN, PRACTICAL & EASILY UNDERSTOOD DIRECTIONS FOR PREPARING & COOKING, WITH THE GREATEST ECONOMY, Every kind of Dish from the sunniest to the most difficult. ALSO, SHOWING HOW TO PRESERVE EVERY DESCRIPTION OF VEGETABLE 3c FRUIT, IN THE BEST, CHEAPEST, AND MOST PALATABLE STYLE. Price, 25 Cents. Published by FRED. A. BRADY, 126 Nassau Street. KF" Single Copies sent on receipt of price. THE CHEAPEST PAPER IN THE UNIVERSE ! 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Any person or club of persons, who will send us (post paid) two dollars for eight subscriptions to our paper, or for two dollars' worth of our books, we will, in return, send to their address (postage paid) any fifty cent book published by us ; and any one who will send the name or names of their friends, we will send a specimen copy, of our Paper to their address gratis. Address, post paid, FREDERIC A. BRADY, 12G Nassau Street, N. Y. BRADY'S PUBLISHING HOUSE. IS 6 Nassau Street, !N". Y. FREDERIC A. BRADY, (Successor to E. D. LONG,) BOOKSELLER & PUBLISHER And N. Y. Agent for thk Works PuBLiSJED by T. B. PETERSON & BROTSERS, PHILADELPHIA, And Publisher of CHARLES DICKENS' HOUSEHOLD WORDS, tlie most popular Magazine of the day. Subscription, $3.00 per year. NOTICE TO ALL. F. A. BRADY would state that he is now selling all his Publications at prices which are, in themselves, a very special inducement to Dealers, whatever may be the extent of their trade, to open accounts with him His discounts, as is already well known, are larger than those of any other house in the trade ; a fact which will, he trusts, induce ail dealers who are not already in correspondence with him to jrive him a trial. He deals in and supplies everything of interest to the trade, and sells at prices which cannot fail to give the most thorough satisfaction. Booksellers and News Agents would do well to order direct from the Publisher, as they will be supplied at an earlier date than they can possibly get. them from other houses. NEW IBOOiKIS XTOTfiT BEADY. By G. W. M. Reynolds. Empress Eugenie's Bou- doir, complete paper, 50 Tlie Young Duchess, com- plete r. H so Imogen Hnrtlancl, " 50 Cauoubury House, " 50 Ada Arundel, " 50 Olivia, M SO Leila, " 50 Karaman •* 50 Omar Pasha, M 50 Catharine Volmar, u 50 The White Lady, M 50 Wagner 44 60 Faust " 50 By Pierce Egan. The Snake In the Grass, eoraplft,f», ** 50 The Flower of the Flock, w 50 Lady Blanche, complete, ..... ** 60 Ellen Akenza, " 25 Life In the far West. " 25 Marie Lessalre, " 25 The Mexican's Bride, " 25 Books by Popular Authors. The Royal Favorite, paper, 50 ' 50 50 50 50 25 25 25 25 25 13 The Rival Beauties,. Richard of York, Romance of War Herbert, The Flying Cloud, Forecastle Yarns, The Patriot Cruiser The Maid of the Ranche,. The Maniac's Secret, New American Joker, Fnstry Cook's and Confec- tioner's Assistant . xo How to Cook and How to Carve,; — " 25 Home Truths for Youn* Wives " 13 Letter Writing Made Easy,.. •« 13 New Song Books, Illustrated. Charley Fox's Ethiopian Song Bookf. f. . . 13 Geo. Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 2. f. 13 Charley Fox's Bijou Song B'k, 13 Geo. Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No.3 7. 13 Christy's Clown Joke Book, . . 13 ©ST" Any Work in this List will be sent to any place, free of postage, on receipt of price. Address as above. 8&F* Brady's Mammoth Catalogue of all the best and most popular Books sent frea of postage* Send Cash Orders to FREDERIC A. BRADY, 126 Nassau St., N. Y. PRICE] ILLUSTRATED. ...XA.AAtA.... ■■■■■II flSCTS. Byron Christy's CLOWN Ml BOOK FREDERIC A. BRADY, PUBLISHER. 126 NASSAU ST. MVTVMTTTT y VfM»yyytM»TfTM T »TTVTtTTTVVVV\ Just Published. — Charley Fox's Ethiopian Songster. Price 13 cents. George Christy's Ethiopean Joke Book, No. 2. ■• •' " George Christy's Ethiopian Joke Book, No. 3. « " " 33 3-fc JL D Y" * S ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. The Publisher of the above series of popular Flays, Drama, Burlesques, Farces, etc*, Which have been so exceedingly attractive wherever per- formed — announces that the following works are ready, and ran be obtained from all Booksellers and Periodical Dealer* in the United States and the British Provinces; NO. I. -Robert Make-Airs, II.— Box and Cox, III.— Maze ppa, JV.— United States Mall, V.— The Coopers, VI. -Old Dad's Cabin, "VII.— The Rival Lovers, VI II.— The Sham Doctor, IX.— Jolly Millers, X.— Villikins and his Dinah, XI.— The Q,uack Doctor, XII.— The Mystic Spell, XIII.— The Black Statue, XlV.-Uncle Jeff, XV.— The Mischievous Nigger, XVI.— '1 he Black Shoemaker, XVII.— The Magic Penny, XVIII.— The Wreck, XIX..— Oil, Hush ! or, the Virgiimy Cupids, XX.— The Portrait Painter, XXI.— The Hap of Fashion, XXII.— Bone Squash, XXIII.— The Virginia Mummy, XXIV.— Thieves at the Mill, XXV.— Comedy of Errors. Most of the above Dramas have been produced under the direction of Mr. C. WHITE ; and this (the Copyright version) has been published under that gentleman's supervision. The utmost care has been given not only to the correctness of the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and every other minutiae, pertaining to their being properly placed on the stage. Although these dramas are specially adapted foi Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for any theatre. PRICE 13 CENTS EACH: 10 COPIES FOE SL All Orders promptly attended to by FREDERIC A. BRADY, Publisher and Proprietor of the Copyrights. No. 126 Nassau Street» N Y. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 027 249 736 9