T 958 
 S3 
 opy 1 
 
 LIFE OF A' 
 
 ^ 
 
 Vritterv By 
 
 H.M.SAWYER. 
 
 pR!CE35t 
 
 J 
 
A.HALYERSONCO. 
 
 203 N. BROADWAY 3 20 W. OK M U LGEE 
 
 OKLAHOMA CITY MUSKOGEE 
 
 IMPORTERS AND JOBBERS OF 
 
 BARBERS FURNITURE 
 AND SUPPLES .... 
 
 In our Electric Grind Shop we sharpen 
 
 ALL EDGE TOOLS 
 
 WHOLESALERS AND RETAILERS OF 
 
 SPORTING GOODS 
 
 THIS FAMOUS 
 
 PAUL JONES RAZOR 
 
 C. O. D. and Charges ^^ ^TJ f!^ i^ To any Address 
 
 tI^(^«OVr Send No Money 
 
 OKLAHOMA 
 BARBER'S 
 SUPPLY 
 COMPANY 
 
 No. 1 South Broadway (Basement) OKLAHOMA CITY 
 
THE ABOVE IS A PICTURE OF BUILDING IN 
 
 CYRIL, OKLA., WHERE ^^LIFEOFA 
 
 HOBO BARBER" WAS WRITTEN. 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BAMBEK 
 By H. M. SAWYER 
 
 COPYRIGHT 1922 
 BY THE AUTHOR 
 
 Published by 
 McCLAIN & WOODCOCK 
 Oklahoma City, Okla. 
 

 6^ 
 
 ^ 
 
 if 
 
 *y^ 
 
 JAN -2 "23 
 
 ©C1A600801 
 
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 X 
 
 «Ui t% t 
 
A LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 (From a Lumberjack to a Hobo Barber) 
 
 I will at first give the reader of this book a brief story of 
 my childhood days. I was born in the year 1881, in the county 
 of V/hidv, State of Kentucky, in the mountains between the 
 Cumberland and Pine mountains of Tennessee and Kentucky. 
 These two states are very rough in two ways: the country has 
 large mountains and are crested with cliffs and tmibers. iiie 
 pco^ile in these mountains and states have practically no laws 
 at ail except those that they make themselves and m this way 
 protect their own rights. Speaking about Abraham Lincoln 
 being born in a log cabin, he has nothing on me m this line. 1 
 was born in a one-roomed log cabin and lived there till I was 
 fifteen years of age. I never wore a pair of factory made shoes 
 until after I came west. The good times of any childhood days 
 always recalls back to their old play grounds, however this has 
 never been the case with me as my life was passed for litteen 
 years with such rough and hard knocks that I have not had any 
 desire to return to the old birthplace. I could tell the readers 
 many things about these two states but it may not be of any 
 interest to you. Mv father owned a large farm covered with 
 mountains and timber and the land on said mountains was so 
 steep that the pumpkins would pull themselves off the vine and 
 roll into the sink holes in the field or go to the lower side of the 
 field and lodge in the fence and we never had to go over the 
 fields and gather them up for they harvested themselves. These 
 two states are the home of the real ground hog that you read 
 about seeing himself on the fourteenth day of February each 
 year. This animal does not resemble a hog except his hair, 
 which is somewhat shorter, and his ears; his fighting quahties 
 are like those of a badger and it takes a good dog to kill him, 
 at least two dogs have better luck, although a mountain cur 
 that understands his business will give the hog a very interest- 
 ing fight. 
 
 The principle means of making a living in these states is 
 farmiing a small acreage of corn, raising a few hogs and work- 
 ing in the timber. 
 
 Our home place, as I said before was covered with timber, 
 most of which was Poplar; this we sold delivered to the creek 
 what would be called in this country a river. We cut the logs 
 twelve, sixteen, eighteen and twenty feet in length and each 
 tree would make from two to three or four logs owing to the 
 length cut and the height of the tree. These logs would run 
 in diameter not less than two and one-half feet at the small 
 end and about ten feet at the large end and were called saw 
 logs. We would drive two large hooks in the end of the log 
 
4 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 with a chain reaching from one side to another across. This 
 chain had a ring in the cenier and another chain from this ring- 
 to a ring in the yoke of the ox, called the snake chain. We 
 would then drag the log to its destination which was called 
 snaking the log. We snaked the logs some three miles down 
 the mountain coming to another mountain being too steep to 
 nalvB the logs down, we would then cut all the timber off the 
 side the mountain and roll the log down. This was the joy of 
 my life to see the logs roll down the mountain and it was this 
 that came so nearly costing me the chance of never seeing 
 another log roil. My father had left me at this place, we called 
 it the dump, and I kid like wanted to see the wonders below. 
 I strolled av/ay and tlien being afraid to go to the bottom of 
 the dump sat down behind a stump and fell asleep. Some of 
 the lumber- jacks that were working there came and not know- 
 ing I was there turned loose a large log which came rolling 
 and thundering down the mountain at the rate of about sixty 
 miles an hour, hitting the stump, whirling completely around in 
 front of me and just leaving enough space for me to sit and 
 covering me with dirt. After this happened I was wideawake 
 and did not need be told to move as I knew there were six or 
 eight of those logs to follow just a minute or so apart. 
 
 After reaching the age of ten and up to the time I was 
 fifteen I made a hand at this work. When we vvould get a pile 
 of logs at the foot of this dump we would snake them to the 
 creek and line them up on the bank and wait for a flood or what 
 was called a head rise and then roll the logs in the creek with 
 a grftb hook one at a time until we had fiilsd the creek. The 
 lumber-jacks would then get on the logs and keep them from 
 jamming and blockading the creek till they arrived at the saw 
 mills which were on all streams of this size as this was the 
 cheapest way of transportation. 
 
 In May, 1896 I came west with my parents landing at Pur- 
 ceil, Oklahoma which in those days v/as Purcell, I. T., before 
 Oklahoma entered into statehood. Having never traveled be- 
 fore I thought that if the world was as large the other way it 
 was sure enough a big ball of dirt. We then moved over in 
 Lincoln county a short time and then v/ent back to Cleveland 
 county. There my mother died leaving several small children 
 of which I was the oldest. I then went to bumping the world 
 in the face, leaving home. I went to Purcell and caught a 
 freight train, this was the first one I had ever ridden, and at 
 the third station out of Purcell the train slowed down, the 
 brakeman cam.e around to me and told me to jump; this was 
 about 3:30 in the morning. Well, I jumped and landed on a board 
 walk in front of the depot. This was somewhat hard landing 
 but I did not damage the walk but disfigured my slats in my 
 side. It was in this town that I bummed my first meal, being 
 so hungry that I raked up enough nerve to ask a lady 
 if she had some work I could do for something to eat. She 
 replied, "yes," and gave me a hoe and sent me to the garden 
 to cut v/eeds. I worked till noon without any breakfast and she 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BAKBER 5 
 
 -liH no^ call me at noon so I had to look around a little for myself. 
 T t^nrnd a nc^t of e--s about 2 o'clock and boiled them ma tin 
 Ln 4d h^d "lunch'^^I then caught the blind on a south bound 
 passenger train and landed in Ardmore, I. i. 
 
 At this time Ardmore v/as a shack of a town and then only 
 means of fighting fire was an ^^P/'^.S^^t engine heated by ^^^^^^^^ 
 
 which pumped water out of a we 1 in the ^f^ff^/^J^ff ^^ J^the 
 would drop one end of the hose m the well and lun ^vlth l:ae 
 other end^o the locauon of the lire. If the hose was not long 
 enouo'h the property owner was loser. . , , . ^„ii 
 
 I landed a job washing dishes in a hotel but f^annot recall 
 
 S^ a m^aT^l^" bii be?;;^ I could gelT some more money t. 
 get another the ild one was looking like the holes in a screen 
 door Seeing this would never do, J. quit on request and a few 
 days got a jol) skinning a team for the Frisco raib^ad whicJn was 
 building into Ardmore. This work was too hard for me to han- 
 de ancl I went back to town and began peddling hot-tamales 
 getting one-third of all I sold and room and board I worked 
 one year, saved some money and caught a rreight tram to Ft. 
 Worth and as there was nothing to do there stayed only a few 
 days and went to Dallas, Texas, to learn the oarber trade. 
 
 I was a lad about sixteen, this is about the age all barbers 
 start working at the trade, and I thought I was man enough to 
 live the barber's life and just knew it promised more money and 
 pleasure ihan any trade I could take up for hie and that would 
 be easy to learn. I am now 42 years ot age, my business life is 
 about spent as you cannot teach an old dog nev/ tricks, i^or 
 twenty-six years of that time I have put m long hours humped 
 over a barber chair and am humped so bad I can haraly sleep 
 at night and am so closely related to a camel that I have gone 
 forty-eight days v^thout a drink of "Nubbm-Juice. 
 
 I took a six week's course in a barber college at Dallas, 
 Texas left a full-fledged barber with a diploma that was large 
 enough to make a pallet in front of a camp-fire. I v/ent to 1 1. 
 Worth, presented my diploma to an old white haired barber; 
 he looked at me over his glasses and I looked at him and 
 tho-/-ht he was an old crank. After he gave me the once over 
 he said: "Kid you have a long road to travel before you maKe 
 ? barber out of yourself and my advice to you is to stick that 
 worthless piece of paper in the stove as it will lose you more 
 jobs than it will get you." I was fresh from the college but 
 after presenting it a few times v^ith hard luck and about the 
 same encouragement I recalled the old white haired barber s 
 advice I finally landed a job in Ft. Worth with an old crank 
 barber, as I looked on them at that time. That night at closing 
 time he said he couldn't use me any longer. I accepted my small 
 wage and caught another freight to Ardmore, Gkla. Here 1 
 went to work in a cut rate shop, a scab shop as they are ca led, 
 the prices were ten cents for a shave and fifteen cents for hair 
 
6 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 cutting. When Saturday night came I had hair enough that it 
 would have taken a two-ton truck to have moved it but the 
 honks of autos was not heard in those days. I had four dollars 
 and fifteen cents when we checked up. I asked the boss if that 
 was all I got for a week's v/ork and he replied: "All a man 
 gets out of the barber business is a lot of hard work and the 
 smell of a dirty breath," and still I could not see the hard 
 knocks ahead of me. It was as usual on Saturday night he said 
 that he could not use me any longer so I packed my tools and 
 went to the next stop which was Purcell. 
 
 In Purcell I went to work for an old head at the game, a 
 Mr. Pete Theal. Saturday night at closing time Mr. Theal paid 
 me off. I asked him if he wanted me for the next week and 
 he surprised me by saying "sure." He then asked me why I 
 asked and I told him that I had been getting bumped every Sat- 
 urday night and thought by his paying me off that he would 
 not use me any more. Well there I was with two good work- 
 men in front of me and one in the back with a job that looked 
 as if it would hold. I worked the next week and decided that I 
 would quit the next Saturday night if he did not can me. He 
 did, I crossed the river to a little tov/n called Lexington. 
 
 Lexington was a live town for it had six saloons and in the 
 good old whiskey days could produce a fight every ten minutes 
 with a few eyes knocked out and some hi-jacking to complete 
 the society. I got in here with a farmer that v>^as going to make 
 a fortune in the barber business; here I had an even break and 
 worked for him six months. I was the only single barber in 
 town so was very popular v/ith the girls of the town and got to 
 making eyes at a doctor's daughter. I took her home from 
 church one night and we sat on the porch, as I planned for a 
 little stay, when suddenly I heard a crash that made me think 
 the v/hole house had fallen in and in came the doctor. He said 
 to me: "Kid can you play checkers?" I said, "No sir, I do not 
 know the game." He replied, "I can teach you in a few min- 
 utes," He said, "Do you see that door?" I answered yes. "It 
 is your move." I moved, and he crowned a king with the toe of 
 his shoe on the seat of my pants thus spoiling ail my knowledge 
 of checker playing. 
 
 My next move was to Shawnee, Oklahoma, the jumping-off 
 place of the universe. This town is where I took the initiation 
 of the hobo barbers union and the stunts they pulled on me you 
 can make out for yourself. I was blindfolded and a board or 
 slab from a dry goods box was applied and a quart of ice water 
 was used to put out the blaze but this v/ent in with the making 
 of the craft. It was in this town that the prune peddler got in 
 my chair to get shaved. After shaving him he said to me: 
 "Kid will you sell me that razor?" and asked me what I wanted 
 for it. I replied, two dollars and a half but what do you want 
 with it? He said: "I have a friend who makes this town and 
 I don't want you to shave him with it." 
 
 I left Shawnee and went to Cement, Okla., here to go into 
 business for myself. This town had a cement mill and it was 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 7 
 
 hard to keop a razor in shaving condition. In those days a 
 stranger never stopped in a small town to get shaved. One day 
 a stranger walked in the shop, the sand was blowing at the rate 
 of about forty miles an hour and I supposed he blew in with it, 
 at any rate I kept my eye on him as it was an unusual thing 
 for a stranger to stop in a small town barber shop as I said be- 
 fore. He hung up his hat, got in the chair and asked for a shave. 
 When I got through he paid me my price, ten cents, and said 
 to me: "Kid, do you hone razors here?" I replied, yes sir. 
 "What is your price for honing?" Twenty-five cents. Rethrew 
 a two bit piece on the stand and said. "Hone that razor, I will 
 be back next week for a shave." This was my third year in the 
 barber business and I thought of the old white headed barber 
 who said, "you have a long way to travel before you make a 
 barber out of yourself." I remained in Cement for about three 
 years — three years of long hours and hard work; my health 
 failed me, I gave up my business and moved to Oldahoma City 
 and worked for a short v/hile. From Oklahoma City to Shawnee 
 and was there when statehood made its appearance and the state 
 went dry. 
 
 Later I went to New Mexico and went into business for 
 myself in a little town called Moriarty which is supported by 
 sheep herders and a few farmers raising beans. I went broke 
 trying to farm. I might have made some m.oney that year if 
 my beans had come up but it was so dry that I had to pour 
 water on my hogs to swell thera up before feeding them slop. 
 This is the place you read about being so hot that the horns of 
 the cattle melted and splattered on the plains, hence the horn 
 button industry. 
 
 From Moriarty I v/ent to Las Cruces, New Mexico. This 
 was the next hottest place under the sun. I worked for a native 
 Mexican but it being too hot for me I went to Lajunta, Colo. 
 This town was dry but by going to Pueblo, Colo, you could get 
 a glass of good old beer. In this state the barbers had to have 
 a state license to barber within the state. One of the state ex- 
 aminers said to me: "Do you honestly believe you will be a 
 barber?" My reply was that I had worked at the trade for 
 twelve years hoping that I would some day get far enough along 
 that I v/ould be able to make a living at least. He drew me 
 over the coals back and forth a few times and when he let me 
 go I was somewhat heated up, but pleased, as I had a state 
 license. At LaJunta I worked for a barber that canned me be- 
 cause I had disagreed with him for drinking all the Cedar Brook 
 and setting all the dead bottles in front of my chair. 
 
 From LaJunta I went to Los Anim.as, Colo. I was there 
 only a short time and then to Kansas. Stopped at Hutchinson. 
 This is a nice town but a barber had about as much chance get- 
 ting a job there as a jack-rabbit has going to heaven for the 
 barbers there are all home guards. They never even take a 
 vacation out of Hutchinson but they were all kind-hearted to 
 me. I got pinched for vag. I sent word to the secretary of the 
 Barbers' Unio" He came to the City Hall, looked me over and 
 
8 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 asked me if I had had my supper. I replied that I had. "Well," 
 he said, "I can't see that you need anything as the city of Hutch- 
 inson feeds well." They were kind enoiigh to me that they let 
 me stay in jail for twenry-eight days with all kinds of trades- 
 men from a vagrant to a bank robber and some dope heads. 
 When my twenty-eight days were completed I blew from there. 
 I landed in a job in Wichita, stayed there only a short time and 
 left in the cold winter for Oklahoma City. 1 went to y/ork in a 
 shop on Grand Ave. in the Overholser opera house. Was there 
 only a few days as the shop went out of business. I went to 
 Shawnee and as there was nothing doing there I blew to South 
 McAlester and in a few days went to P't. Smith, Ark, 
 
 At Ft. Smith I picked up a buddy. He told me many things 
 about Arkansas that seemed unreasonable to me and I would 
 accuse him of telling me stories and he said if I would stay a 
 short time in Arkansas I would be convinced that he was telling 
 me the truth. In a short time spring was at hand and one nice 
 morning we went fishing; but this is not a fish story. As we 
 sat very quietly I looked across the stream and saw a very 
 strange animal. I turned to my buddy and asked him what it 
 was. He said it was one of those razor-back hogs that he had 
 been telling me about. This animal was about ten feet long 
 and stood about four feet high. The hog walked to a hickory 
 tree and began to draw himself from head to tail on the tree. 
 "Now, what is he doing?" I asked. My buddy said you see he 
 is stropping himself. This man raises these hogs for the Koken 
 Barber Supply Co. of St. Louis, Mo. "Well," I said, "I want to 
 see this man." We crossed the stream and started up to the 
 little log cabin on the hill side. Suddenly a lad of about sixteen 
 fell at out feet. I picked him up and asked him what the trou- 
 ble was. He said, "I was planting corn in that field and I am 
 not going back any more." "Why," I asked the lad. "Well," he 
 said, "this is the fourth time I have fallen out of that field 
 today." We gave the hill what is known as the grape-vine 
 twist; in other words we made several curves around the hill, 
 and finally got to the cabin, without falling out of the field. 
 We asked the farm.er to see his hogs as I was interested in them 
 for the Koken Barber Supply Co. He said he would call them 
 out of the woods. His hogs got so wild in the spring that they 
 would hardly come for calling. He picked up a hickory stick 
 about two feet long and about two inches in diameter. I kept 
 my eye on him as I did not know the game. He stepped to a 
 hollow log about three feet in diameter and about fifteen feet 
 long, sat down on it and began to pound with all his might. 
 The hogs began to fall out of the hills as if they grew on trees 
 like pecans. I was getting a good view of them when about 
 that time another sound like a machine gun began and the hogs 
 pricked up their ears and away they went to answer the call. 
 The old farmer said, "By heck that is hard luck, the wood- 
 peckers run my hogs to death every spring." But that was 
 nothing new to me as it has happened in old Kentucky. 
 
 From this place we went to Izard County. This part of 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 9 
 
 Arkansas is sure enough rough and in the woods. My buddy 
 lived in a little town in this county called Calico Rock. We ar- 
 rived about 8:30 in the evening and all the young folks seemed 
 to be pleased to see him, and as I was a new bird in the village 
 they all gave me the once over. They decided to give us a dance 
 for the next night. This dance was about one mile from Calico 
 Rock on what was known as Coon Skin Hollow across Pumpkin 
 Ridge. We got ready and started for the dance. The girls all 
 dolled up except putting on their shoes, these they carried in 
 their hands. We gave Pumpkin Ridge the grape-vine twist 
 four or five times before we got to Coon Skin Hollow. When 
 we got close to the house the girls sat down and put on their 
 shoes and we proceeded to get to the dance. The floo^' manuger 
 was about 7 feet, 8 inches tall and yelled at the top of his voice 
 for all to take a chew of tobacco. Some of them did not have 
 any tobacco with them and those who did were sitting pretty. 
 Most all had long green, some called it hill-side. It was so 
 strong that it v/ould make a jack-rabbit spit in a dog's face. 
 They all took a chew, men and women, except a sickly little 
 girl. She was asked if she did not chow and she said she could 
 noi chew that strong tobacco. The floor manager asked if any 
 one in the crowd had store bought tobacco. I was from the city 
 and had a heart as big as a mule and free with anything that 1 
 had. I gave him the sign, he came over and I gave him a sev- 
 enty-five cent plug of star so they all began to throw out their 
 hill-side and the pound plug only went half around and those 
 who did not get a chew of the store bought tobacco got angry 
 at me and raised so much hell that they broke up the dance. 
 And those who got a chew of tobacco accused me of being the 
 cause of it and the old tall boy stepped up in the middle of the 
 floor and said this is the way them city slickers break up our 
 dances. 
 
 The next day we started back to Ft. Smith. We came to 
 a hill side farm, and saw a man with a single shot human 
 rifle; he would shoot at the side of the hill, step another step 
 and shoot again. I looked to see what he was shooting at and 
 seeing nothing, asked my buddy what that guy was shooting. 
 He laughed and said: "His farm is so steep that he could not 
 get in the field to plant his corn and he is shooting it in with 
 that gun." This aroused my suspicion as to how the man was 
 to gather his crop in the fall and asked my buddy how this was 
 done. 
 
 "You see that log pen at the foot of the hill?" I said "yes." 
 "Well, he climbs up the hill into the field, pulls his corn, and 
 throws it in that from any part of the field." I decided I had 
 won another victory and started on my way for Ft. Smith. We 
 had hoofed it about two miles and met a boy about 12 years old, 
 a bright looking lad, and he had twelve of the nicest looking 
 gray squirrels that I had ever seen. The lad having no gun 
 with him, I asked how he got the squirrels without a gun. With 
 rocks he said and pointed out a small one in the bunch saying, 
 "Do you see that little one?" I had a lot of trouble killing him, 
 
10 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 I had to throw at him three times before I got him." 
 
 We arrived at Ft. Smith about 10 -.oO at night. I only 
 worked one day in this town as I had so much trouble with the 
 hillside or in other words the long green. The natives would 
 get in the chair v/ith a wad in their jaw so large that when I 
 gave my razor a slide I would most always take off the outside 
 hunk. I bumped this job and came back to Oklahoma and got 
 a job in a little town in Oklahoma or Arkansas, this no one 
 seemed to know. This was only a Saturday job and well I re- 
 member the Saturday that an old hill-billy, looking to be about 
 G5 or 70, came in, threw his hat on the floor, got in my chair 
 and asked for a hair cut. He remarked that he gat his hair cut 
 twice a year whether it \\as in need or not. This must have 
 been his spring hair-cut it being corn planting time. I put a 
 towel around the back of liis neck; he reached up and pulled it 
 dov/n at the corners and looked at me saying: "Haven't you a 
 larger rag you could put on me to keep the hair off?" The 
 boys cut my hair at home and they use my old red handker- 
 chief but I left it at home today." I asked him if he wanted a 
 shave and ho said no, that he would cut them with the scissors. 
 I then asked him if he wanted a neck-shave and he replied, '*If 
 it doesn't cost anything extra." Thinking that I would have 
 some fun I told him to tu)n over and hang his head over the 
 head rest. At my command he did this and the boys began 
 laughing at my way of working and warned to know where I 
 had learned the trade. I told them at Dallas, Texas. One say- 
 ing to the other, "I told you we did not lun this shop like the 
 city barbers." 
 
 I stayed in this place over Sunday and it was here that a 
 bunch of us weiit fishing about three miles up the creek, same 
 being closed in by large mountains on each side. Suddenly I 
 heard a crash in the brush on the hillside. I looked and saw a 
 woman run down hill for dear life and after her a boy about 18 
 years old. The woman jumped into the creek. I yelled at the 
 top of my voice and asked the boy what in the h — he was trying 
 to do. He said that the woman was his mother and she was 
 trying to wean him and he'd be darned if he would stand for it. 
 
 My next move was to IMuskogee, Oklahoma. This is a nice 
 little place but was unable to find employment there and blew 
 to Tulsa, Oklahoma. I worked here three weeks leaving for 
 Wichita, Kansas on the twentieth of August, 1913. Not forget- 
 ting Hutchinson I passed through there on my way to Dodge 
 City. Later deciding to go to Santa Fe, New Mexico, where the 
 sun shines every day in the year and plenty of fresh air per- 
 fumed with chili and garlic and where the backbone of industry 
 is beans, rocks and politics. This is the cjuntry that is better 
 known as "Manyana," or tomorrow. The only amusement they 
 have in the old historic town is when the cowboys get stewed 
 and come to town with the ring of silver spurs and the odor of 
 good corn whiskey, now and then you would hear the roar of a 
 forty-five. Nevertheless it is a good place to live in. 
 
 When I landed in this town Statehood convention was in 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 11 
 
 session and I braced myself up for a position. I stepped into 
 the swellest shop in town and to my surprise when I entered 
 I noticed that all the barbers were negroes, but I was game, 
 being broke, and asked for a job landing same on the back or 
 fourth chair. I laid my tools on the case and was ready for 
 work. I stayed here three weeks and had a scramble with the 
 negro foreman and threw my shaving cup at him; it only took 
 ten minutes to make the place look as if someone had made a 
 bad job of moving out. There I was out of a job and a wife and 
 three babies to look after and thvm in Oklahoma. After going 
 to bed that night with only $9.75 and no chance of getting work 
 in Santa Fe the thought struck me that if I had only enough 
 money to get myself a barber chair I could get by. I went to 
 the printing office and had some tickets made that were good 
 for eight shaves and sold them among the American people. I 
 succeeded in selling 80 of these in about four hours and sr) rent- 
 ed a room over a drug store, bought a chair and went to work. 
 I mil about a month and moved down on the ground floor; 
 bought two more chairs and paid $40 a month rent. I stayed 
 in this town for about six years and made good money but my 
 health failed me and I had to move. 
 
 Leaving Santa Fe I came back to God's country and located 
 at Shawnee, Oklahoma. Here I bought an 80-acre sand hill 
 farm and began raising chickens and hogs, not with the idea 
 of making money hut mt'i-oly to get away from the business 
 life. I went to work and planted the land in feed for m.v chick- 
 enf- and hogs. I lived on the farm for two years, bought some 
 of the best breed of chick'-ns 1 ctm'd f'nd. The tiist year I had 
 a nice bunch of fowls, perhaps 500 or 600. I also purchased four 
 pure bred sows and raised hogs to a good advantage. The sec- 
 ond year my chickens took what I called the big eye. The 
 hens would set on the roost all day long and I was at a loss 
 what to do. About the same time I invited a couple of my 
 barber friends out for a country dinner. After the meal was 
 finished I asked them to take a look at the nice bunch of fov/ls 
 I had. We went out and looked them over and sure enough 
 some of the hens were on the roost asleep. Henry Coyer, one of 
 my friends, looked at Scoty, the other barber, and then asked 
 if my chickens laid the eggs we had for dinner and I said, "sure." 
 "Well, that is a god one on us Scoty," said Coyer and looking 
 at me said: "Sawyer you have fed us owl eggs for dinner. You 
 live so far out in the sticks that the owls and your chickens have 
 mixed." I had built a hog pasture in a piece of lowland and did 
 not know at the time that it would overflow. During a big rain 
 this land overflowed and drowned all my hogs. I became dis- 
 gusted and advertised the farm as a hog ranch, for sale. I suc- 
 ceeded in getting an answer from a party in the State of Illi- 
 nois. He came down and looked the land over very closely no- 
 ticing the red mud on the trees that had overflowed. Asking 
 me about this I replied that I had some big hogs and they would 
 wallow in the red mud on the hill and then go for the lowland 
 and rub on the underbrush thereby getting the trees muddy to a 
 
12 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 height of about five feet. He studied a second or two and 
 turned to me and said: ^'Sawyer I don't want the farm as it is 
 war times and hogs are high and I can'i buy both farm and 
 hogs so I will just take a pair of those large hogs back with me. ' 
 
 I left the farm and went to Shawnee to go into the real 
 estate business and in this game remained two years. Having 
 now been out of the barber business four years I decided to go 
 back to my old trade. 
 
 I went to Mercedes, Texas, and worked six weeks in this 
 little town. Near there is some of the finest country. It is 
 warm most all the year round, plenty of fishing and hunting 
 and the land will grow anything that grows in soil. Leaving 
 this country I came back to Shawnee and shortly afterward 
 moved to Cyril, Oklahoma. This is about the best part of the 
 state and is near the Cement oil field having a small field of 
 its own near town. I have been in this town about 20 months, 
 did not have a dime when I came, a wife and four children but 
 thank God I am holding my ow)i; however have not accumulated 
 many dimes. The wind blows a good deal of the time here. One 
 day a newcomer asked if the wind blew this way all the time. 
 After he had spent about a week here I told him it blew fioin 
 the other way part of the time. This is also the town that the 
 t;tory is told as a joke that the wat^r is .so scarce and you arc 
 a tourist be careful or they will drain your radiator for drink- 
 ing water. 
 
 I will say a few words to the young man that is thinking 
 of learning the barber trade. The barber trade is one of the 
 mo>t unhealthy tiades you can undertake as you are in a closed 
 room for long hours where there is no fresh air and you cannot 
 realize the danger. Think of the fine hairs from the clippings 
 off the head that you cannot see with the eye; these you breathe 
 (lay after day. You may look at the lungs of a barber with an 
 X-ray and you will find a mass of hair in each lung as large as 
 a dime. Did you ever see a barber that did not have a cough 
 or a clearing of the throat? Think of this before you get in 
 the business so far that you have lost time and money and 
 health, before you realize what you have at stake in this busi- 
 ness and before it is too late to withdraw fvom it without --* 
 heavy loss. 
 
 A Man With ^Many Whiskers and a Few Words. 
 
 One day a large gentleman came into the shop. I could 
 always look a small man in the face or the eye better than a 
 large man. I am a good hand to talk to my customers espe- 
 cially if I like them. I frequently talk too much as many other 
 barbers do but this is more or less caused by spinal nervous- 
 ness. I had been in this town only a few days and the gentle- 
 man I referred to above came in. He was a man that weighed 
 about 450 pounds. Stepping into my chair, he looked at me and 
 said: "Kid, I am a man with many whiskers and few words and 
 I want my whiskers shaved off and not talked off, as I have 
 seen barbers do." This was about 10 o'clock in the forenoon. 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 13 
 
 I started to lather him and when the clock struck 12 I had him 
 lathered ready to shave. I put on my coat and hat and went 
 to lunch returning at 1 o'clock hoping that some of the boys 
 had finished the job. Weil he was still in the chair and looking 
 at me very hard he said, "are you goinj? to finish me before 
 supper?" I replied, "Yes if you can st.ind it I will finish you." 
 I got the job finished before supper time. He asked what my 
 charges were and I said that shaving was 25 cents but when I 
 hired out bv the dav I charged $10. Well then he said: "I owe 
 you about $7.50." "Yes sir," was my reply. He handed me 50 
 cents and said, "that is for the rest I got at noon." Later he 
 changed barber shops and we were all at loss to know if it was 
 because I charged him $7.50 or for the loss of time and hide in 
 the operation. 
 
 Only One Barber Could Cut His Hair. 
 This is an expression that is heard in the barber chair every 
 day and it is as a rule a class of customers that never have 
 much barber work done as the regular customer at a barber 
 shop is not so apt to have this foolish idea. The story goes, 
 there was a barber, a hobo barber, one that never stays long at 
 one place. He went to Los Angeles, Cal., thinking that no bar- 
 ber but Tom could cut his hair and moved to this place. This 
 man is the main character in the story. Here the hobo barber 
 joined the navy and went to the Philippine Islands. The man 
 followed Tom the next week to these Lslands that he might get 
 him to cut his hair. But in a few weeks the hobo moved back 
 to California and this man was in need of another hair cut and 
 moved to California with the barber. The barber then moved 
 to the Great Lakes and later went to parts unknown. The man 
 followed him again but in vain for when he arrived in Michigan 
 the barber had gone. He sat on the curbstone and began to cry, 
 "What shall I do?" A sympathetic gentleman came up to him 
 and said, "My boy this town is full of good barbers. Can't you 
 get one of them to cut your hair?" The kindly gentleman then 
 asked me to tell him my story about this barber. "Sit down 
 and I will tell you," I said. "I am a man that has the foolish 
 idea that he is the only barber that can cut my hair. I was at 
 one time a man of means. I have spent large sums of money 
 since I left home but look at me now. I am in this town with no 
 clothes, no money and on the buni, however I would not care if 
 I could only get Tom to cut my hair. 
 
 President Taft Caused It AH. 
 
 Recalling my trip back through New Mexico and in the 
 Estanchia Valley. This valley is about 40 miles wide and about 
 70 miles in length. The means of making a living in this valley 
 are raising cattle, sheep and some dry farming such as rais- 
 ing Mexican beans which are better known in the land of Man- 
 yanna as "frijholes." The buildings in this state, or a large 
 portion of them, are made of mud blocks, as we call them, but 
 the proper name is "adobe." These blocks are made with grass 
 
14 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 or straw mixed with the mud in order to hold their shape and 
 laid in the sun to dry. They are about 12x18 inches and prob- 
 ably four inches thick, mortared together with common mud. 
 The people of these houses dash the outside with sand and 
 gravel, smooth the inside of them with mud or whitewash, it 
 making a very neat appearing home which is cool in the summer 
 and warm in the winter. In this valley I happened in a little 
 town called Estancia, the county seat of Torrance county, dur- 
 ing the night. Being tired after a hundred or so mile ride on a 
 freight train I got a room in the best hotel in town. Late in 
 the night I was awakened by a noise in the office and the saloon 
 next door. This was the night President Taft signed the State- 
 hood bill and I thought nothing of it although it lasted for three 
 hours or more. I awoke about 8:30 the next morning and as I 
 had often heard about the cowboys being such tough guys I 
 took my time going down the stairway so as not to get into any- 
 thing that I could not carry out with me without going out the 
 back door. As I stepped into the office a boy was weeping and 
 I noticed something laying all over the floor that looked to me 
 like grapes. I asked the lad if they raised grapes in that 
 country and he replied "No." "Well," I said, "looks like that 
 is quite a bunch of them to be wasting," and it looked to me as 
 if there was about a peck of them. "Them's not grapes," replied 
 the boy, "those are eye-balls." 
 
 I went to Phoenix, Ariz., taking berth No. 23. This was 
 always my lucky number but it was hard luck for a Jew as the 
 poor devil died. I heard the conductor tell the Irish porter to 
 throw him out in the desert as he would be smelling bad before 
 they got to Phoenix. The porter had probably been drinking 
 some "Red Eye" and made a mistake and threw the wrong Jew 
 out of the window. The conductor came through the sleeper 
 about daylight and looked in the dead Jews' berth and found 
 him still there. Calling the porter he asked him why he hadn't 
 thrown him out. The porter replied, "I did," and went to show 
 him that he had. But he found the Jew there. Turning to the 
 conductor he said: "Well boss I thought you said 33 and I threw 
 a Jew out of there. He fought me all over the sleeper and said 
 he was not dead but that is the trouble with a darn Jew you 
 can't believe anything they tell you. 
 
 A Barber Was Not Wanted. 
 
 During another trip into Kansas I stopped at a little town 
 by the name of Cimeron and worked about two weeks. I never 
 was much of a ladies' man and never wanted to marry but I 
 got acquainted with the belle of the town, living at the edge of 
 the little city, and we got up somewhat of a courting case. She 
 said to me that if I did not marry her she would become an 
 old maid. I was kind-hearted and told her that I would marry 
 her and talked about the big things we would do. When I left 
 the town I had forgotten my promises. One day I received a 
 long letter from this girl begging me to come back and marry 
 her. Deciding to do this I went back but thought it best to 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 15 
 
 speak to her father first. I called at the house and told the 
 old gentleman that I wanted to marry his daughter, and was 
 told to come back the next week. Well I was a very busy man 
 but nevertheless I went back the next week. "I have talked it 
 over with the old lady," he said, "and she would rather have an 
 old maid in the house than a hobo barber." 
 
 I Tell Stories Without License. 
 
 I am not a licensed story teller and that is the reason I 
 have told the truth all the way. I have traveled in several states 
 but more around home in the barn lot. I remember a trip I made 
 from Wichita, Kan. to San Antonio, Texas, going through Okla- 
 homa City. I took a berth for the night, same being number 13. 
 I went to bed and after a few minutes a gentleman occupying 
 number 12, below me, said to the porter: "What time do we 
 arrive in Ft. Worth?" The porter answered, "At half-past five 
 in the morning." "Alhight," replied the man, "I want to get 
 off at Ft. Worth. I sleep very heavily and am hard to awake 
 but you must make me get up, don't mind what I say and if I 
 kick about it just pull me out." Alright said the porter 
 and the man went to sleep. He did not wake up until it was 
 broad daylight. About 50 miles out of Ft. Worth he called the 
 porter. "See here didn't I tell you to put me off at Ft. Worth?" 
 "Well, ah declah," said the porter, "if it wasn't you, who was 
 that I threw off at Ft. Worth?" 
 
 His Age Was 104 and Threw Rocks At His Grandmother. 
 
 I have been told that South Texas was very healthful and 
 heard many stories that I thought unreasonable, just as you 
 have heard thousands of them about South Texas, until I had 
 made several trips and found that they were true. I was work- 
 ing for a land company which was operating out of Kansas 
 City and when I would come back to the northern States I 
 would not tell all the wonders I had seen. They were so unreas- 
 onable that they would never believe them. I am going to tell 
 you a story about the Rio Grande Valley. I have never told this 
 kory and would not tell it to your face. On one trip with 
 prospective land buyers I saw an old man with a long gray 
 beard sitting in front of a house crying. I asked the driver to stop 
 the car that I wanted to see what was wi'ong with the old man. 
 I walked over to the old gentleman and asked him his troubles. 
 "Oh, nothing," he said. I then asked him his age and how long 
 he had been in this Valley. He replied that he was 104 years 
 old and that he had been in the valley all his life. He then told 
 his troubles. He said that his father had just given him a lick- 
 ing for throwing rocks at his grandmother. The above story I 
 made for myself from a boxing contest that was staged in the 
 year 1920 at Beeville, Texas, between two aged men. One of 
 these was 104 years of age and the other one 108. I saw one 
 of these men later working in a garden near the depot as our 
 train had taken siding for a north bound passenger from Gal- 
 veston. We always made Galveston on our trips. We had lunch 
 
16 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 at the Galveston hotel and afterward, bathing- in the Bay which 
 was duly appreciated. We also passed through Corpus Christi, 
 which is a very beautiful place. The part of the city which was 
 destroyed by frequent storms is in very low land which is level 
 with the Bay. It is not the wind that does all the damage but 
 the tidal wave that was caused by the wind. The higher por- 
 tion of the city did and does not suffer from the storms. This 
 is also a great fishing city. I well remember the time I saw a 
 man come up the bay with a fish that weighed 185 pounds. Just 
 across the Bay from Corpus Christi is the Taft ranch which has 
 all the conveniences of the modern home. This is a wonderful 
 spot for farming and stock raising and is one of the most beau- 
 tiful places of the South. 
 
 The Southwest States Are On the Bum— 1922. 
 
 I just recall the sign on an old worn out wagon drawn by 
 a pair of burros, driven by an old man and his wife. They 
 camped near the city in which I was operating a barber shop in 
 the western part of Oklahoma. I saw this sign on the wagon 
 and thought it was a show that was just coming into the town 
 as shows were few and far between in this section of the coun- 
 try. I looked at the aged couple and thought that it would be 
 some show and moved to one side to see the sign and this is 
 how it read: "The Southwest States are on the bum, Texas is 
 near starvation, Mexico is meditating, Colorado, Kansas and 
 Oklahoma are profiteering, the republican administration is 
 going to h — and we are going to Arkansas." I wished them 
 good luck and started away and the old man called to me. "Hey, 
 mister, hain't you folks got any water in this town besides this 
 that has salts in it?" I told him that it was not salts, it was 
 gyp water but was unable to convince him as he said that he had 
 taken a barrel of salts in his life time and he knew what it was. 
 I told him that he was as near correct as possible for gyp water 
 and salts are practically the same thing. In the morning I saw 
 the same wagon leaving town with this sign on it: "We stopped 
 here for a rest but find it not best as we can't drink gyp water." 
 
 At the present writing I am in Caddo County, Oklahoma, 
 and the dirt blowing at the rate of about forty per. It recalls 
 to mind a trip that I made from Shawnee, Okla. to Estancia, 
 New Mexico in the spring of 1908. This trip was made by the 
 way of El Reno, Okla. and Amarillo, Texas. Near a little town 
 called Texola on the Texas and Oklahoma line we were travel- 
 ing about four miles an hour, suddenly the train stopped. I 
 asked the conductor the reason of this and he replied that there 
 was a curve ahead and they dared not try to make it while the 
 wind was blowing so hard. We had to keep the windows closed 
 as the posts and other things were blowing around. After a 
 few minutes the wind stopped and we moved on only to stop 
 again. Fearing that something was seriously wrong this time 
 I asked the engineer the trouble. He said they were waiting 
 for another wind to blow a sand pile off the track that the 
 other storm had left. The train later stopped at a siding for 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 17 
 
 another train to pass. I noticed a man in the field digging with 
 his hands. As we had several minutes to wait, I asked one of 
 the passengers to go with me and see what the man was hunt- 
 ing for. 
 
 We walked up to him and asked him if he was hunting some- 
 thing. He said, "Yes, about three weeks ago the wind had 
 blown his rain barrel away." Seeing something on the ground 
 and after a close inspection found them to be barrel staves, I 
 called his attention to them. ''Yes," he said, "I found the staves 
 but it was no good to him without the bunghole and he was 
 hunting for it. He went on to tell us the wind had even ruined 
 the fence that the spaces between the wires were blown away. 
 This was the first place that I have ever seen hay used for 
 fencing purposes. While sitting on the train waiting for the 
 wind to blow the sand off the track I noticed that the only 
 places the fence was standing was where the farmer had placed 
 bales of hay around tlie posts with a part of them projecting 
 above the ground so the hay would catch the sand. The wind 
 would blow so hard that in a short time it had blown all the 
 dirt away from the posts allowing them to fall to the ground. 
 
 I Rode a Mule With the Harness On. 
 
 A few years back while I was in New Mexico I worked one 
 Saturday at a little town on the Santa Fe called Berlin just 
 south of Albuquerque. It was a very cold day and early in 
 the morning an old ranchman came into the shop with a heavy 
 overcoat on and a large collar perked up around his neck. He 
 got in the chair with his coat on and I asked him to remove it. 
 **Well," he said, "can't you shave me with my coat on?" I said, 
 "I may be able to shave you alright as I rode a mule once with 
 the harness on." But the joke was on me for he said, "Well, 
 didn't she buck?" 
 
 I humped around the above mentioned town until I went 
 broke and finally heard of a ranchman that wanted a sheep 
 herder and I landed the job. I went out at night so as to be 
 able to go to work in the morning. The old ranchman advised 
 me to be very careful not to lose any of the lambs as they were 
 bad to drop behind the rest of the herd in the shade of the cac- 
 tus. I had 500 old sheep and 249 lambs to herd. I had trouble 
 with the lambs all day and \/ /rked hard to keep them rounded 
 up with the old sheep. That night I started to the corral with 
 them and at last got them in, however I was completely ex- 
 hausted. The next morning I had a hard days work ahead of 
 me and as it was a long ways back to town I decided that I 
 did not want the job any longer. I told the ranchman to check 
 up my herd and see if I had all that I had started out with the 
 day before. We counted the herd and found that the number 
 of old sheep was as that the day before. We then counted the 
 lambs and found that I had 249 the same as the day before and 
 also 113 jack rabbits that I had corraled thinking they were 
 lambs. This is likely to happen in the best of families. I have 
 seen in the Estancia Valley, jack rabbit drives where they would 
 
18 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 kill as many as 500 at a time. They would take chicken wire 
 and stretch it in a \ -shape in the lowlands and start at the wide 
 end and drive them to the small end and then armed with clubs 
 about five feet long killing them by the hundreds. I asked an 
 old ranchman if they were good to eat and he said, "Yes, but 
 I don't eat them. If the children eat them they get so wild that 
 I can't corral them at night." 
 
 I Have Shaved the Noted Frank James. 
 
 In the years 1906-7 at Cement Oklahoma, in Caddo County, 
 I have had the honor of shaving the noted Frank James, who 
 at one time was one of the James outlaws. I have a brother 
 who has also had the same honor while he was serving as an 
 accomplice in my shop although he now has a shop of his own 
 in Naravisa, New Mexico. I have had the pleasure of seeing 
 and meeting Mr. James who died in Excelsior Springs, Mo., a 
 few years back. He was a man about 5 feet 6 inches tall and 
 about 70 years old. At this time he was somewhat gray but, 
 looked to be much younger than he really was. When Mr. 
 James came into the shop he would apparently see everything 
 in the place before he would greet you with his "Good morning 
 gentlemen." Mr. James was a man of small stature and it is 
 said by his friends who hunted with him that he always shot 
 quail from his hip and never raised the gun to shoot. He would 
 never take a chance with a so-called friend when out hunting. 
 He would always make them go through the fence first and 
 then crawl through himself bringing his gun after him. 
 
 Mr. James, however, was quite a nice man. Most people 
 think that he was a cranky old man but this was not true, for 
 he was a gentleman. The only cross word I ever heard him say 
 was in the Jordan Hotel in Cement, Oklahoma. A young fellow 
 who was traveling for a tobacco company thought lie was a 
 pretty smart guy. Mr. James was reading a paper and had his 
 feet propped up on the lobby table and the traveling salesman 
 rolled a piece of tinfoil and thumped it at the paper James was 
 reading. James paid no attention at first but the second time 
 the drummer did this the old man looked at him and said: 
 "Young man I take that as an insult. Don't repeat it." He 
 later got up and walked down the street. When he had gone 
 Mr. Jordan asked the drummer if he knew who that fellow was. 
 He replied no, that he thought he was some hayseed farmer. 
 Mr. Jordan then told him who the man was and the drummer 
 would not believe him, so he went out and asked several people 
 and they all told him the same story. After studving the mat- 
 ter over he decided to move his sleeping quarters* for the night 
 and he hired a man to get him out of town. At that time we 
 had no automobiles or flying machines but I have an idea that 
 a flying machine would have taken the itch out of the bottom 
 of his feet faster than a slow horse and buggy. 
 
 I still have the same razor that I shaved Mr. James with 
 but it is not in use. However it is not a relic like the one a 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 19 
 
 gentleman brought in to have me hone for him. He went on 
 to say that he had ten grandfathers. He said that his tenth 
 grandfather came from Ireland, the ninth was a Swede, the 
 ei"hth was from Greenland, ihe seventh was an Italian, the 
 sixth was a German, the fifth a Jap, the fourth was a Scotch- 
 man, the third was an Oklahoma Indian, the second was a horse 
 thief and the first a bank robber. I looked at him and won- 
 dered what nationality he was and later decided he was a Rocky 
 Mountain jackass from the way he brayed and flopped his ears 
 when I charged him thirty-five cents for honing a fro. 
 
 I Bought in Six Months 144 Washtubs. 
 
 Relating to the time I moved to Cyril, Okla., Caddo County 
 in December 1920. Everything went along nicely until spring 
 came and the windy weather with it. I was a poor man as I 
 have stated before and my v/ife had to do the family washing 
 but from the amount of tubs I bought that spring would lead 
 people to think that she was taking in washing. I bought the 
 usual amount of tubs this being about three and the wind came 
 up in the night and blew them all away. I bought several tubs 
 before I got on to the scheme to save them. I would tie them 
 to an iron rod, driven in the ground, tied with a piece of rope 
 and the wind came strong enough to beat and thrash the tubs 
 to pieces. 
 
 In the fall I went in to pay for the tubs I had got and the 
 dealer had me charged \vith 144. 
 
 This state is also noted for cyclones. I saw a piece in the 
 paper in the month of March where a storm had struck Sul- 
 phur, Okla. and a farmer near Shawnee, Oklahoma in going over 
 his field found a gar fish several feet long. The paper stated 
 that it had been carried by the storm. I would advise you not 
 to doubt anything you hear about Oklahoma as you know that it 
 lies west of Arkansas, south of Kansas and north of Texas and 
 is a heck of a place when the wind blows and that is about 65 
 percent of the time. 
 
 Sawyer, the Biggest Liar in the State of Oklahoma. 
 
 I never like to tell a fish story, as they invariably sound and 
 smell fishy. But I had a rather peculiar experience one day 
 last summer. It was one of the very hottest days of the year. 
 I ran acro?s a large hole of water, which was frozen over, and 
 a nice lot of cats, ranging in size from 10 to 15 feet. Of course 
 these fish were rather large for one man to handle; but being 
 fish hungry, I cut a hole in the ice, after studying the matter 
 over. Knowing that I was violating the law to do so, I landed 
 ten of the largest swimmers in a very brief space of time. I 
 had just sent them home by my little boy (and it was all he 
 could do to get away with them). Shortly after he hove out 
 of sight. I looked around and saw a guy step out of the brush. 
 "Well," he said, "have you caught anything?" "Yes," I replied, 
 not thinking who I was speaking to. "How many?" he asked. 
 "Ten large ones," I replied. "Well," he said, "do you know 
 
20 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 who I ain?" "No, sir, and I don't give a darn," I retorted hotly. 
 "Well," he continued, "I am the game warden." My gigantic 
 intellect worked rapidly, and as quickly I answered, "you don't 
 seem to know me." "No sir," was his reply, "and I don't give 
 a darn." "Well," I answered, "My name is Sawyer, the biggest 
 liar in the State of Oklahoma; I haven't caught a thing." 
 
 How Do You Expect To Get Away With That Old Stuff? 
 
 I want to call the customers' attention to the fact, that the 
 man who is alv/ays in a hurry, after coming into the shop, never 
 gains anything by jumping from one shop to another. When 
 you want work done, make it a point to go to the shop when 
 the barber is not rushed, and get your seat and wait until your 
 turn comes. In rushing the barber, you make him nervous, as 
 he has had this to contend with all day, and your patronage is 
 always appreciated by the barber, when you are considerate. 
 How a man gets the idea that he can go to the barber shop and 
 hang up his coat or hat and run all over town, come back and 
 hold his turn, is more than I can see. If the shop was full of 
 customers, and this was the rule, and your coat and hat came 
 next, and the barber sat in his chair and waited for you to 
 return, he might wait all day; and did you ever stop to think, 
 he cannot shave the coat or hat? This has never been the rule 
 in any shop, only by the customers. When you leave the shop, 
 you lose your turn. You can hold your turn in the bath room 
 or toilet. When you sell your turn to another customer, you 
 must take his number. This has caused trouble with hot headed 
 and drinking people. I knew a barber who had a wrangle with 
 a guy, for selling his place to another guy, and then trying to 
 keep it. The result was, the barber v/as shot and killed. This 
 incident occurred at Meeker, Okla. The barber could not show 
 this guy where he was wrong. 
 
 A Quart of Milk Is Right Smart. 
 
 You have often heard the story that we live and die and 
 forget everything. The words "right-smart" that you have 
 often heard. This word is used generally in the central west, 
 to distinguish the quantity or amount, of money or other val- 
 uables or invaluables. I could not find what this amount would 
 be, when it was used. One day, I heard a farmer in Drumright, 
 Oklahoma, a small oil field town, in Creek County, trying to 
 sell his milk cow to the dairyman. The dairyman asked the 
 farmer how much milk the cow would give at a milking. The 
 farmer replied that she would give a right-smart. "Well," said 
 the dairyman, "I will go and look at the cow." This was during 
 the war, and milk was selling for 85 cents a gallon. I had 
 longed to know what the amount, right-smart was, so I made 
 myself acquainted with the dairyman, passing myself as a pro- 
 fessional dairy connoisseur, and accompanied him to the farm 
 to investigate what the amount would be, which was termed, 
 right-smart. The farmer milked the cow, and I then learned 
 what a right-smart meant. The cow gave a quart of milk, so 
 this convinced me that a quart was a right-smart. 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 21 
 
 Is the World Falling in Grace? 
 
 I am not going to comment on this idea, but I have often 
 thought of what Teddy Roosevelt said in a speech during his 
 last campaign, at St. Paul, Minn., immediately following his 
 return from the jungles of Africa, where he associated with 
 monkeys and apes for some time. He said that he was afraid 
 that the world was falling in grace, and that the human race 
 may return to the customs of the people before the dawn of 
 civilization. This I have thought about many times, and can 
 safely say, that I believe Roosevelt did see a vision which he 
 did not reveal to anyone during his life. I have made those few 
 words a study, and I believe that Teddy saw far enough ahead, 
 that he could see that short skirts and the low-necked waists 
 were getting higher and lower. If the waists keep coming down 
 and the skirts going up, how long will it be before the Adam 
 and Eve style will be adopted? This I will leave for you to 
 figure out for yourself. 
 
 The Pentecostal Religion 
 
 I will try and give you a brief outline, as it was told to me 
 of the Penticostal religion, as I have never attended any of these 
 meetings. This form of service and worship, is invariably held 
 in the open air, without any kind of a shelter, near a small 
 stream or spring. They worship a large cross, already prepared, 
 cut from a peon tree, averaging in length from 10 to 12 feet, 
 and in width, about 10 inches, at the large end. This makes a 
 very heavy load. The leader in the services carries the cross 
 as long as his endurance will permit, and then lays it down and 
 piles rocks to mark the distance which he has carried the cross. 
 Then he inflicts punishment on himself by whipping himself 
 with a thorny brush. Many punish themselves to such an ex- 
 tent that the* blood runs from their backs and drips off at their 
 heels. The amount of punishment they give themselves is ac- 
 cording to the extent of their sins for the past year. Then 
 another does likewise, and so on, until the entire membership 
 of the flock have completed their duties as to the rules of their 
 belief. I have seen members of the Pentecostal church, come to 
 the hospitals at Santa Fe, New Mexico, and remain there for 
 three or four months at a time, to recover from punishment 
 which they inflicted upon themselves. It may be said, that it 
 would probably benefit the entire world to adopt this religion, 
 as it might have a stronger impression on the people. At least 
 it would dislodge the idea from some peoples' minds that it 
 ought to be done. The above religion is practiced more among 
 the Aztec Indians, near the ruins of the Cliff Dwellers, in New 
 Mexico. 
 
 The Cliff Dwellers and Kit Carson. 
 
 If you ever visit Santa Fe, New Mexico, don't fail to visit 
 the ruins of the cliff dwellers, which are located about 35 miles 
 north of Santa Fe. They are very interesting. It is wonderful 
 to look up in the open spaces of air towards the blue sky and 
 
22 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 see the chambers that have been dug out in the walls of solid 
 rock, ranging around 150 feet in height, and not a sign of a 
 stairway, or any conveyance, to gain access to the rooms so 
 high in the air. It will ever be a mystery as to how these peo- 
 ple scaled the dizzy heights to their rooms. Another great mys- 
 tery, is what finally became of this strange race of people. 
 
 You can find foundations of houses completely covered up, 
 showing many rooms, numbering from 50 to 150. Another in- 
 teresting scene, is to look at what is called the death chamber. 
 It is about 30 feet deep, around 10 feet across the top, and is 
 walled with stone. The idea of most people who visit these 
 places is that -the tribes used the chamber for a prison. It is 
 built on the order of a cistern, and this may be what they used 
 it for. In visiting these places, you will find human bones, of 
 the small type, from appearances, the bones of a child, between 
 the ages of 10 and 15 years. But the theory is that these bones 
 are of fully matured people. They are placed in crockery jars, 
 or in old baskets. The most modern Pueblo Indian village in 
 the southwest, is that at Tesuone, New Mexico. There are only 
 35 or 40 of these noted villages in the southwest. Tesuone, New 
 Mexico, is the home of the famous Indian fighter, Kit Carson, 
 and whose grave is located at that place. It has been said that 
 Kit killed more Indians than any other man living today. He 
 would make whole bands of them take to the tall timber single 
 handed. All you had to do to make the Indian weaken in the 
 knees, was to yell out in Spanish, "Viva 1, Kit." Kit Carson was 
 highly praised by the Mexican people of New Mexico. His wife 
 being a Mexican, gave him a better understanding of the ways 
 of the Mexican people, as wll as their customs. He was a Ken- 
 tuckian by birth. Coming to New Mexico with his parents in 
 the flint lock rifle days. He belonged to the I. O. 0. F. Lodge 
 No. 1, at Santa Fe, in the state of New Mexico. His request 
 when he died, was to present his rifle to that lodge, which was 
 later placed on a rack over the door of the lodge room. State 
 historical societies of New Mexico have constructed small rail- 
 road systems at different points over that state, to carry away 
 the dirt, which is being removed in order to uncover the foun- 
 dations of the famous old ruins of the Cliff Dwellers. In re- 
 moving the dirt from these places, they find whole ears of corn, 
 burned to a charcoal. This is a mystery, as all well-informed 
 people know that this corn has laid there from 1000 to 3000 
 years. These people have become extinct, possibly from war 
 or starvation. Another peculiar thing is that no one has ever 
 found where they secured their water supply, unless they car- 
 ried it from 10 to 15 miles in crockery, or raw hide jars. The 
 Cliff Dwellers at Mesa Verde Park, Colo, signs indicate that 
 they existed as far back as 1300 A. D. The Cliff Dwellers in 
 my mind, are not a strange race of people, as I believe they are 
 the modern Aztec Indian of today. Of course theory is all we 
 have for proof and there is not a living man of that or any 
 other country who can tell you anything about the Cliff Dwell- 
 ers, and history was not known at that day and time. 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBEE 23 
 
 A Few Words About South Texas. 
 
 It is well to say the Kings ranch at Kingsville, Texas,, cov- 
 ers the greater part of four counties. This ranch covers all of 
 Kieberg, Willacy, the northeast part of Brooks and the south 
 part of Jim Wells, and the south part of Nueces county. Mrs. 
 King is still living on the small garden spot. Of course she is 
 getting somewhat old and feeble, and does not like the honk 
 of the auto, and complains of the front gate being too near the 
 house. The gate being only 65 miles from her front door. She 
 is thinking very strongly of having the house moved back some 
 distance from the gate so as to not be annoyed by the noise. 
 You will find on Kings ranch a modern up-to-date little city, all 
 belonging to Mrs. King. On this ranch there is a certain specie 
 of cattle, called the "Sacred Cattle." Flies or any other pests, 
 will not molest them. On this ranch there is one of the most 
 modern creameries in the southwest. The house in which Mrs. 
 King resides is constructed of Italian marble, and four 6-inch 
 cannon are placed on top of the building for protection of said 
 ranch. This famous ranch is located about 75 miles southwest 
 of Corpus Christi, Texas. 
 
 Texas is a wonderful cattle country. Millions of dollars are 
 made each year in cattle raising. Did you ever think about what 
 a large animal you would have, if all the cattle of Texas were 
 in one large steer. He would be so large that he could stand 
 with his right front foot in the Pacific ocean and his left front 
 foot in the Gulf of Mexico, with his left hind foot in the Great 
 Lakes, and his right hind foot in Canada, and brush the cob 
 webs from the Statue of Liberty. 
 
 Texas is also somewhat of a hog state. If you had all of 
 the hogs of the state of Texas in one hog, he could stand with 
 one hind foot in the state of Michigan and one hind foot in 
 the state of Oregon, and one front foot in southeast Mexico, 
 and the other front foot in Lower California, and root the Pan- 
 ama Canal with one root and two grunts. Texas is also a great 
 onion state. If all the onions that are grown in South Texas 
 could be made into a necklace, it would go around the world 
 five times. 
 
 Texas also produces some funny incidents in the barber 
 business. In the town of Alice, Texas, which is 41 miles west 
 of Corpus Christi, while working with a land company, I de- 
 cided to stop at this place and work a few days at my trade. 
 After working a short time, I found that the Texas rangers 
 and cow punchers,had the most peculiar faces I had ever seen; 
 being raw-boned and of the sink-hole nature; and I lost my job 
 because I sharpend a spoon and tried to dip them out. 
 
 A Few More Words to the Reader Regarding the Life of 
 The Hobo Barber. 
 
 I will say a few more words to the reader of this about the 
 life of the hobo barber. It makes me feel very sorry for the 
 young man I see in the barber college learning the barber 
 trade. These young men could prepare themselves for a much 
 
24 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 better way of earning a livelihood, as it will take them three 
 years steady at the barber chair, to hold a position or join the 
 barbers' union. Without the protection of the union, you cannot 
 get very far along in the barber business, as all of the best 
 shops in the larger towns and cities, recognize same. A man 
 working at the barber trade as a rule, does not save very much 
 of this world's goods, and does not progress very far in society, 
 as his working hours are so long and his income so small, that 
 he never attains the necessary status to get very far along in 
 a social way, with the class which carries the large bank roll. 
 Did you ever hear of or know of a barber being elected to any 
 high public office? Such as governor or president? But I do 
 not say that there are not as clean men working at this pro- 
 fession, as you will find in any other line of ligitimate endeavor. 
 Did you ever see a barber millionaire, or worth a large sum of 
 money? This is due to the unusually small amount which can 
 be made in the barber business. You may think you have seen 
 barbers who have accumulated great wealth, but if you will 
 investigate you will find that they have made it in some other 
 way. The barber trade is a trade which makes a man very 
 much discontented. For the reason that a barber stands all 
 day in a tiresome position over his customers, straining his 
 spine and standing on his feet long hours, on hard concrete 
 floors; this causing a hardening of the arteries in the legs and 
 affecting the kidneys and the spine, and the eyes, causing head- 
 aches and indigestion; constipation; and resulting in a broken 
 down constitution; nervous system wrecked, until finally he is 
 no longer fit to follow the barber business. After working a 
 few years, it is hard for a man to give up a trade which has 
 cost him several hundred dollars to learn, and of time lost 
 while learning. As I have mentioned before in this book, that 
 his hours are so long and confining, lack of fresh air, etc., that 
 a few years of this grind will kill the average man. He either 
 contracts stomach, kidney or lung trouble, being the three dis- 
 eases which will take hold of a man. And when a barber con- 
 tracts lung trouble, he is forbidden by the state laws from work- 
 ing at his trade, and by the barbers' union. Of course it is safe 
 to say that 75 percent of tb^: barbers have lung trouble in some 
 form or other. Of course tnjs disease has a strong hold on a 
 good percent of the outside population, and should be guarded 
 against. It is not safe for a barber to stand over a customer 
 when he is almost dead with the terrible disease. This is the 
 chief reason that I do not desire to work in the western states, 
 as there are thousands of people who come from the eastern 
 states for their health, almost dead with the T. B. I have gone 
 to their rooms, and to the sanitariums and shaved them on their 
 cots, so near dead that the poor people did not know what you 
 were doing to them. A man or anyone affected with the T. B. 
 have a soft spongy appearance in their flesh, and also have a 
 bad odor about them; this odor always follows the disease, no 
 matter how clean a person may keep himself. The trouble 
 with shaving these people is that they are liable to cough in 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 25 
 
 :your face, before you have time to guard against same, or be- 
 fore they can prevent it themselves. There are several ways of 
 spreading this disease, as the odors from cuspidors in which 
 they may expectorate, if not properly treated with disinfectants 
 may spread the plague. If a member of a family has T. B., 
 proper preventatives should be taken to protect the other mem- 
 bers of the family from becoming infected with germs. All 
 public places should be properly ventilated, and cuspidors mth 
 disinfectants placed at convenient places, and rules placed in 
 large letters, letting everyone know that they will be fined if 
 they do not abide by the health regulations. If you should 
 contract this disease, get out into the open at once. Sleep out 
 of doors, or in a well ventilated room, where you can breathe 
 plenty of fresh air. Go to a high and dry climate. Don't wait 
 TOO long, for a few days' delay may prove fatal. There are 
 several forms of T. B. All of which are fatal, if proper treat- 
 ment is not taken. Rest and fresh air are the only cures. The 
 system must be built up by substantial food, plenty of rest, 
 and a freedom from, all worry and care. I have known of many 
 people who have been found dead sitting on park benches and 
 other places, as a result of hemorrage of the lungs. 
 
 Many of these people die from not having proper attention 
 and not going west earlier. The most of them wait to the last 
 chance and are almost dead when they arrive. I have seen 
 many people afflicted with this disease coming from the east 
 on stretchers over the Raton Paths. These paths are between 
 Trinidad, Colorado, and Raton, New Mexico. Many of these 
 people die going over these paths as the altitude is so high. I 
 have seen them have hemorrages and the blood run from their 
 mouth, nose and ears, from the effects of the high altitude. In 
 going to these states for this disease I would suggest for you 
 to go the southern route by the way of Amarillo, Texas, 
 
 To the Boy of a Tender Age. 
 
 I want to suggest to the young man who is thinking of 
 learning the barber trade to not rely on v/hat I have said iv 
 regards to the business, but suggest that you go to the oldest 
 barber in your town and ask him if he has read this book, "The 
 Lfie of the Hobo Barber," then ask his authority on what I 
 have to say and after doing so you may act upon your own 
 decision as I am only making these suggestions. You may 
 not have agreed with me on what I have to say as my purpose 
 of this book is only to give you a hunch as to what this busi- 
 ness consists of from a man with 25 years experience, and for 
 your own good stay out of the business. This trade is looked 
 down upon as a cheap trade and the public in general does not 
 appreciate what you do for them. I say if the barber would 
 charge for his service like the doctor, lawyer and the other 
 professional men the man that stands behind the chair from 12 
 to 18 hours a day, the public would look at the barber with a 
 different expression on its face and they would not turn up 
 
26 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 their nose and say, "Oh, he's only a cheap barber." 1 say this 
 because the barber business is a cheap trade. I say this to the 
 public that everything: that glitters is not gold and if you think 
 the barbers prices are too high get you a razor and shave your- 
 self and do not be compiaining to your barber about his prices 
 as this will not buy you anything when you consider the health 
 of the barber. You are getting your v^ork done cheap at any 
 price that he may charge you. Of course it will look to you 
 like he is making money hand over fist, but did you ever stop 
 to think when you came into the shop in the evening that prob- 
 ably his income for the day would not buy a square meal, as 
 this barber may have sat there all day and decreased the val- 
 uation of the seat of his pants and you may have been the only 
 customer for the day and how could you expect a smile from 
 thi-3 man that would make an Irish woman laugh, and many a 
 day I have sat ail day and shaved only one customer. Your 
 home barber is a good spender and a good fellow with the boys, 
 as this is most always the case and he spends all he makes and 
 this is one of the chief causes of the barber never having any- 
 thing. If he is not a good fellow with his customers and spend 
 his money with them they consider that he is short and the 
 customers soon fall to the barber who does spend his money 
 on them. My advice to you is to get into a business that if 
 you do make a dollar or two you can save it and not have to 
 spend it to get more business. This was practiced more in 
 saloon days than at present. In saloon days I have seen the 
 barber shave a customer and go and spend it for a drink to 
 encourage his customers for the next shave. This is a bad 
 habit for the barber as it encourages the habit of drinking, and 
 drinking while on duty. I would suggest to the customer of 
 any barber shop that if you know of a man who takes a drink 
 to move your business. A man who takes a drink of the deadly 
 poiion is not to be trusted. I have worked at the barber trade 
 only lacking a few months of being 25 years and I have my 
 first time yet to get drunk or even be under the influence of 
 liquor. Other things that I have not done is to gamble, play 
 pool, or molest the other man's wife. Also baseball is of very 
 little interest to me, neither do I belong to any church as I 
 have seen barbers play them all to stimulate their business. My 
 only ideas of sport are fishing and hunting. 
 
 Water, Water Everywhere, and Not a Drop to Drink. 
 
 I have told you many things that I have seen in this state 
 of "manyana," in English, this means "tomorrow." Things that 
 I have seen, and have not seen. I have seen large lakes of 
 water on the plains, which are called mirages. I bet $16.00 
 against 160 acres of dry farming land with Uncle Sam that I 
 could stay five years and not lose the bet, but I lost. While 
 serving the above sentence, ten miles from town, I could see in 
 the direction of town in the afternoon, between the hours of two 
 and four o'clock, some of the most beautiful lakes of water, 
 with hundreds of heads of cattle grazing around them. I could 
 see the shadows of skyscrapers and elevators in these lakes. 
 
LIP'E OF A HOBO BARBER 27 
 
 This convinces me that your eyes can be deceived. I could see 
 an object that I knew was not true. 
 
 I was at one time unfortunate enough to get mixed up in a 
 case where a man stole a cow. I was only serving as a witness, 
 however. When the judge asked me if I had seen the man steal 
 the cov/, I told him that I did not know whether it was a cow 
 or calf. The lawyer asked me v/hy I could not tell the differ- 
 ence between them; I told him that I had seen things since 
 arriving in the state of New Mexico, that looked like lakes of 
 water, when there was not a spoonful to be found. That I 
 thought I had seen him steal the cow, but would not swear to 
 anything. 
 
 I have stood in the valley of Estancia and counted fourteen 
 small whirlwinds, about the size of a stove-pipe, from 300 to 
 400 feet in the air. This is the country where you climb for 
 water and dig for wood. The year 1909 was a very dry year, 
 and the majority of people left the country, all who could pos- 
 sibly get away. They had left until my nearest neighbor was 
 just 25 miles away. 
 
 The Reason I Do Not Like the Ring of the Razor or the 
 Rattle of the Strop 
 
 I could say a great deal more about the reasons why I do 
 not like the ring of the razor or the rattle of the strop, but it 
 probably would not be of any interest to the reader. But you 
 should bear in mind that after a man is in the barber business 
 a few years, he becomes nervous, and these nervous spells will 
 come in spite of all that he can do. This is caused from lack of 
 outdoor exercise. Then indigestion and many other diseases fol- 
 low. Think of the millions of short cuttings of hairs which a 
 barber inhales, which are not visible to the naked eye. 
 
 Speaking of the scarcity of water in Western Oklahoma. 
 We could scarcely get enough to drink, and when it was possible 
 to get a drink, it would be pure unadulterated gyp water, and 
 one time I went 24 hours without water of any kind. This mak- 
 ing me relative to a camel. I have also gone six months with- 
 out washing my feet, having to wait until it rained. We would 
 take our semi-annual bath in the spring when the weather be- 
 came warm enough so that we could stand outside on the sunny 
 side of the building and shake the dirt off. This is what we 
 called a shake-down bath. 
 
 I have tried many lines of business, but the line that beat 
 them was the dry goods business. I put in a line of dry goods 
 in connection with my barber shop at Cyril, Oklahoma. In the 
 winter months when it rained the most and the wind blew the 
 least. I did pretty well with this line. But when spring came 
 and the wind began to blow, then my trouble started. I had to 
 dust the dirt off of the merchandise about a dozen times a day, 
 and in this way wore more goods out trying to keep them clean 
 than I sold. So I closed out these goods for fear that I would be 
 arrested for profiteering on account of short weight. 
 
28 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 Self Determination 
 
 Do you possess this, or do you borrow from someone else- 
 Never let anyone dictate to you how to run your business. Sit 
 down and figure for yourself. Just start in and say that you 
 can and will make a success and borrow no advice from anyone. 
 Be clean in person as well as in business, and always be on the 
 square with everyone, and show no special favors to anyone. 
 Treat everyone just alike, and be firm in everything- that you 
 do, and do nothing that will make you go the cur dog route. In. 
 other words never do anything that will make you look down. 
 Always keep straight and you can look the other fellow in the 
 eye. And this shows to him that you are clean and can hold 
 your head up. If you are in the barber business try and do your 
 work better every time you shave your customer, and not work 
 merely to get his money. But first of all, keep high ideals, and 
 hold your work high in your esteem. Never be satisfied with 
 yourself or your business, always look to the future for some- 
 thing better. The man who is satisfied to sit day after day in a 
 little dirty shop at the end of some side street, and work for 
 nothing, never has many friends, who are in better condition fi- 
 nancially than himself, because the man who has money never 
 goes to this kind of a shop to get shaved, because he knows that 
 if the barber was a master at his trade, he would not be in an 
 out-of-the-way place. 
 
 Always have an ambition to own a better shop, which is 
 cleaner and more sanitary. Make friends in business. Never 
 fail to sterilize or dip your razor in hot water after stropping. 
 This can be done without inconvenience, and the customer sel- 
 dom fails to notice these things. I have been in the barber bus- 
 iness almost twenty-five years and have my first face to infect 
 with a razor. 
 
 Comparing a Razor with a Dirty Shirt. 
 
 You may take an undershirt and wear it for one week, and 
 you may let a brother wear it for another week, and change 
 around and wear it for six weeks, without sterilizing it each 
 time the garment is worn, and you will develop the itch or lice 
 in five or six weeks. A razor will do the same thing if not dis- 
 infected in some manner after each shave. It may happen at 
 any time that someone with bad blood may get shaved and his 
 face may become infected. This is why the union shop is always 
 the safest. The union card is always a sign of a clean sanitary 
 shop. Why is this? It is for the reason that the union com- 
 pels the union shop to use a clean towel on each customer. The 
 union shops charge a little higher, but you get the difference 
 in better service and more sanitary conditions. 
 
 A thing that is worth doing, is worth doing right. If good 
 work is done, it is worth more. And you can afford to do the 
 best of work. 
 
 You may be a man who has never entered into business. If 
 you have not, and ever do, you will find that the whole commun- 
 ity you are in will keep their eyes on you, to see how long you 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 29 
 
 remain in business. Have your opening and closing hours and 
 don't break them for anyone and then turn someone else down. 
 
 Never try to down a competitor by cutting under his prices, 
 because when a shop cuts prices people get suspicious of them. 
 If anything, charge more and do better work. In business life 
 keep yourself clean and wear neat, plain clothes. A business man 
 is always judged by the way he dresses. If he is a mechanic, his 
 work is judged by the neatness of his clothes. If he is a travel- 
 ing man and Virears a Harding badge on the seat of his pants, 
 and his clothes are all out of shape and baggy at the knees, you 
 would not go to this kind of a man to buy a spring dress suit, 
 although he may have the best and sell for less. You will make 
 no mistake, no matter what your business may be, by making 
 it a study and endeavoring to do your work right. 
 
 One Man Can Do More Damage With A Pocket Knife Than A 
 DOZEN PECKERWOODS 
 
 Did you ever go into a small town and look around and see 
 how many professional whittlers you can find. You are almost 
 sure to find from three to six sitting around on dry goods boxes 
 or benches, cutting them to pieces or leaning against a barber 
 pole carving on it with a pocket knife. I have seen many bar- 
 ber poles throughout the seven states I have mentioned, that 
 were all cut to pieces by these amateur whittlers. Don't drift 
 into the above channels as it will be bad for you, as well as the 
 man who owns the property. In Santa Fe, New Mexico, I had 
 a barber pole 12x12 that I had installed early one morning, and 
 in the afternoon a rube leaned against the pole to brace him- 
 self while talking to a friend; he took out his jack-knife and 
 began to stab the pole. I will leave it to you as to how I felt 
 and what I said to this bird. Hold your head higher in the 
 world. Don't get down on the level with those who do not want 
 to see a man who works day and night accumulate a decent liv- 
 ing. I do not mean to say that those who are poor are of a 
 destructive class, or practice vandalism. I have seen people 
 rent a house and let their children tear all the wire off of the 
 screen door, and all of the paper off the walls, and then complain 
 about high rents. Any landlord will let people have cheaper rent 
 provided they will take proper care of the property, and not 
 destroy it. There is no doubt but what some people who read 
 this book will not agree with me on these points. But they will 
 be the ones who are hit. You know that I am telling the truth 
 and when you hear anyone knocking "The Life of a Hobo Bar- 
 ber," you can rest assured that he is hit. It makes little dif- 
 ference to me whether anyone agrees with me or not, as it 
 makes no difference what you say, there will be someone to 
 kick on your writing. All my life I have been pleasing and 
 displeasing and intend to keep on doing so as long as I live. 
 
 The barber who is in ill health, run down physically, and 
 is cross and grumbles at every little thing that comes up, I 
 would advise him to get out and try a change. Take your wife 
 and children on a vacation, that is if you possess a wife. I 
 
30 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 have lost five or six good starts in the barber business on 
 account of ill health. One time I went into Santa Fe, New Mex- 
 ico with $9.75 in my pocket, went into the barber business and 
 built up a good lucrative business. My health failed me and I 
 had to quit and get out for the time being. I practically gave 
 the shop away, and migrated to Cyril, Oklahoma, in the year 
 1920, and worked hard. I am enjoying a good business at the 
 present time. I do not know what will happen next, but am 
 going to make a change as soon as possible. I know that there 
 are more disgusting things that can come up in the barber bus- 
 iness than in any other business on the face of the earth. Little 
 things that will make a man grit his teeth, as a barber's life is 
 not all flowers and sunshine. I am not a doctor, and have not 
 practiced medicine, but I wish to say a few words to my brother 
 barbers, as to health conditions. I have sat for days and weeks 
 and years with my complaining condition, feeling that I was 
 not able to work. And the fact of the matter was, that I thought 
 I was really worse than I proved to be, and the thing I needed 
 was out-of-door exercise, and less medicine. To keep well you 
 must keep the mind clear of things that might tend to be worry- 
 some. Get some good literature and read after some good 
 writer. The mind becomes stagnant, and wanders on different 
 subjects, chiefly little petty troubles that do not amount to 
 anything, when summed up. The mind needs to expand just 
 the same as the chest. I am speaking from experience, as I 
 have been over these roads, and that is v/hy I have sat down 
 during leisure hours in my shop, and put in six months writing 
 this book. It is best to always smile, and don't wear the expres- 
 sion of having been weaned on sour pickles. 
 
 Fools and Newcomers Predict Weather in Oklahoma 
 
 A few hints in regard to taking a vacation in Oklahoma. 
 Especially in the western part of the state. If you are from 
 another state, it will be well for you to bear in mind a few 
 peculiar facts, chief among which is to prepare for any kind of 
 weather. As you cannot tell what tomorrow will be by the 
 weather of today. You must carry with you one pair of high 
 topped rubber boots to wade mud with; one rain coat, one pair 
 goggles, and one fan, so that you may keep cool; and one oil 
 stove that you may keep warm in case it should turn cold; and 
 it is well that you also carry a cyclone cellar, as your traveling 
 kit is not complete without one. 
 
 If you are from another state, there is one thing that you 
 must not do in Oklahoma. And that is to predict about the 
 weather. By doing so, the old timers will know that you are 
 
 either a d- m fool or a newcomer. And it may be said that 
 
 it is not wise to admit that you are either a newcomer or a fool, 
 for the chief reason that there are people in Oklahoma who are 
 sitting up at night looking for both. 
 
 Explaining the Barber's Itch and the So-called Barber's Itch 
 
 I wish to call the attention of the public to, and wish to ask 
 the reader of this book to bear in mind, that there is a differ- 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 31 
 
 ence in the barber's itch and the so-called barber's itch. You 
 do not get the so-called barber's itch generally, or are not apt 
 to get same from barber shops, as it is generally believed. The 
 barber's itch is an entirely different disease from the so-called 
 barber's itch, which disease prevails during the summer months, 
 mostly in the southwestern states, during sheep shearing time, 
 and originates from the wool of diseased sheep. The real bar- 
 ber's itch originated in the United States at the time of the 
 World's Fair at St. Louis in 1903. This disease was carried here 
 from some foreign country. When you contract the real bar- 
 ber's itch you do not realize there is anything wrong until you 
 wash and find the water full of hair. The hair slips from your 
 face. Then the cell from which the hair falls makes a festered 
 pimple about the size of a pin head. After the pimples heal, 
 they leave scars which show plainly. This I have seen for six 
 years after the disease had been cured. It looked as if the scars 
 would never leave. This disease destroys the cell from which 
 the root of the hair grew, and never grows again in the same 
 place. This disease can be contracted by drying on a towel in 
 a hotel or any other public place, more so than at a barber shop. 
 You are not apt to contract any disease in a barber shop where 
 everything is kept in a sanitary condition. You cannot catch 
 this disease from a shaving cup, as disease germs cannot exist 
 in soap. 
 
 The so-called barber's itch is called the wool-sorters disease 
 in the southwestern states. Where you find this disease in the 
 eastern cities, it is spread by the careless handling of wool 
 shipped from the west. It may be spread in many ways by the 
 handling of wool, for instance by touching the door knob, or 
 bell cord on a street car or a steering wheel on an automobiLi, 
 or anything that might be used by the public generally. Zinc 
 Oxide Ointment is recommended as a cure for barbers' itch. 
 
 When a Barber Has the Blues. 
 
 I had the blues almost continuously during the time I was 
 serving my apprenticeship. It seemed to me that every man 
 who came into the shop knew that I was just learning my trade, 
 as there is a little something that tells a customer to fight shy 
 of the fellow who is a novice or an amateur at his profession 
 or trade. This is the chief reason why so many of the boys 
 attend the barber colleges, generally ranging in age from six- 
 teen to eighteen years. They take a six weeks' course and then 
 go out and make a fizzle at the trade, and it takes him a long 
 time to have confidence and look a man square in the face when 
 he is getting ready to take the chair. The amateur is most 
 always weak-kneed and afraid that he cannot give proper and 
 efficient service. A college student knows that he cannot ball 
 the jack at the chair like the old timer. Without confidence 
 and a strong will power, you cannot expect to accomplish a 
 great deal in this world at any line of endeavor you might take 
 up. I have been in several different lines of business handling 
 them as sidelines, and have made fair money at everything I 
 
32 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 have attempted. I have also peddled goods from house to 
 house. My worst trouble is that I ramble from place to place 
 too much for my own good, but this goes with the barber busi- 
 ness. The only vacation I have had during the past 25 years 
 is when I quit or got fired. I will never forget one time when 
 I was selling sewing machines. I called at a farm house and 
 asked the lady if I could see her husband. She told me that he 
 was at the barn. I went to the barn, and looked every place 
 that I thought he might be. I saw no one but a negro. I went 
 back to the house and told the lady that I could not find her 
 husband. She replied that that was him feeding the chickens. 
 I then asked her if she had married a negro. She replied that 
 she had, but said that was not half as bad as her sister had done. 
 She informed me that her sister had disgraced the family bj 
 marrying a sewing machine agent. 
 
 A Hi-Jacker by the Name of Harding 
 
 It was at the time I attended a barber's state convention 
 at Oklahoma City. It was very warm and I was taking a stroll 
 in the residence section of that city to kindly breathe a little 
 fresh air. A hi-jacker stepped around from a corner of a build- 
 ing, rammed a gun in my face and told me to "stick *em up," 
 and I complied with his request without any loss of time. He 
 told me to reach higher, and I rammed my mitts still higher 
 in the air. He kept telling me to stick them higher in the air, 
 until I got mad and said: "To hell with you. I have them so 
 high now that I can see stars." He replied, "Yes and I will 
 make you see them in a minute." I saw that I could not get 
 away with the rough stuff, so started in to kid with him. I said, 
 "Do you know whose pockets you have your hands in?" "No," 
 he replied, "and I don't care. "Well," I retorted, "they call me 
 the Oklahoma Kid, and I have a bad name among the outlaws 
 of this state." "That's nothing," he replied, "stand still or I 
 will shoot you." I took him at his word. He took everything 
 that I had, with all my valuables. I asked that he be kind 
 hearted enough to leave me car fare back home, as it would be 
 a mighty long hike over a rough and dusty road, in the swel- 
 tering heat. He replied that the road was not crowded, and 
 that he had just walked in, and did not like walking either. And 
 that I did not have enough to pay the car fare for both. He 
 ended up by saying, "Well, kid, I hate to hi-jack a man who is 
 barbering for a living, but my name is Harding, and I have sev- 
 eral hi-jackers working under me. 
 
 The Grief of Running a Cleaning and Pressing Establishment. 
 
 I wish to say a few words about the cleaning and pressing 
 business before I bring this book to a close. I speak from ex- 
 perience, as I have operated cleaning and pressing establish- 
 ments in connection with my barber business in several small 
 towns. It is about as unhealthy as the barber business. Did 
 you ever stop to think about the danger of brushing clothing, 
 inasmuch as you are apt to contract T. B. or some other disease ? 
 I have heard and read to the effect that a large per cent of the 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 33 
 
 population of this country are or have at some time been afflict- 
 ed v/ith T.. B. or are subject to this dreaded disease, on account 
 of having the germs lying dormant in their system, inactive. 
 Most all cleaners, after they have worked at this business for 
 some time, become sallow and unhealthy looking. And as a 
 rule, are in the same boat with the barbers. It costs a consid- 
 erable amount of money to equip a cleaning and pressing outr 
 fit properly, and supplies are very high, as a rule. I like to 
 see a young man go into a business which is not injurious to 
 his health. Get into some business where you have to use your 
 head and then go after it. Don't say you can't, bt.cause you can. 
 
 In Kentucky. Where You Phone for Water. 
 
 Recalling an incident in Kentucky, where strange things 
 happen. I was a small boy, but noticed things. One day I 
 stopped at one of the mountaineers homes about lunch time. 
 The old lady asked her boy to get a bucket of water. The lad 
 complained that he couldn't draw the water, and I went to 
 assist him. We walked around the hillside, and I asked the lad 
 where the well was. He said that he did not know what I meant 
 by the word '*weil." I explained to him just what a well was so 
 that he could understand. This I will not recite to the reader. 
 He said that they had a spring on the other end of the wire. 
 *'How far is it over there," I asked him. He said that he did 
 not know, as the hill was so rough and steep that he had never 
 been to the other end. The wire was attached to poles placed 
 at regular intervals. We let the bucket loose and down the line 
 it went. In about twenty minutes he gave a hearty jerk, as if 
 he had caught a whale. "We have the water," he said, and 
 began to pull in the line. In about thirty minutes I saw the 
 bucket heave in sight. We got the water after about forty min- 
 utes work. We had lunch and went out for a rest. Of course 
 I was dying to pass a compliment and say something in the way 
 of flattery, and I could find nothing better than the three over- 
 grown girls in the family. Yet that was difficult to do. They 
 were ungainly, red-headed and freckle-faced, and could climb a 
 tree as nimbly as a gray squirrel. "Well," I said, "Aunt you 
 have three mighty nice loking girls." "Yes," she replied, "I 
 think they are about as tall as they ever will be, but they will 
 probably broaden out considerably." 
 
 I Would Have Hair On All Bald Knobs 
 
 I have just shaved a customer who accused me of putting 
 something on his face to make his beard grow more profusely 
 and rapidly. If a person will only stop to think for a minute, 
 that if this were true, there would not be so many bald knobs. 
 And not near so many paupers among the barbers. Did you 
 ever stop to think for a moment that if a recipe was discovered 
 that would grow hair after the cells and pores of the skin were 
 closed up, we would have hair growing on all bald knobs. If 
 this could be done, the average barber would wax wealthy over 
 night. The hair is like a growing plant, it takes moisture and 
 nourishment in the way of blood circulating through the small 
 
34 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 veins of the scalp. A man never begins to lose his hair until 
 after he has reached the age of twenty or more years. Heat 
 and high blood pressure is the general cause of loss of hair. 
 It destroys the cells, and the hair dies much the same as any 
 kind of a plant, from lack of nourishment, or too much nour- 
 ishment. You have probably noticed that your hair grows 
 faster at some times than at others. This is caused by the 
 heart beating faster, and is above normal. If you will 
 notice, you will find that it grows more rapidly on moon- 
 light nights. You probably were unable to reason out the cause, 
 and probably thought the barber put some kind of a solution 
 on your face to cause the beard to grow faster so that you 
 would be compelled to visit the barber shop more often. If this 
 was the case barbers would be hard to find, and when you did 
 find one, he would be after your bald head, where he could make 
 an easy dollar or two, and not after your whiskers — as there is 
 no profit in shaving a man. The outsider stands by and looks 
 on and believes the barber has an easy time of it and makes 
 big profits besides. When a barber stands humped over his 
 customers all day, or sits on his hunkers until he wears the seat 
 of his trousers to the quick, waiting for business, its not all 
 flowers and sunshine to the man who makes his living by the 
 rattle of the strop and the ring of the razor, and works 18 long 
 hours on Saturdays. 
 
 This is why I have called this book "The Life of a Hobo 
 Barber," in explaining to the reader just what it takes to con- 
 stitute a real hobo barber. He is the only individual who gets 
 real pleasure and money out of the barber trade. He seldom 
 remains very long at one place, and is always as good as the 
 best workman you can find, for he works with all classes of 
 workmen and gets the full benefits of the best ideas. His kit 
 of tools consists of his vest pocket for a razor and a pair of 
 shears, and his pant legs for his razor strop. When he goes 
 down in his pant leg and pulls out his strop, one barber will 
 look at another. Oh, boy! he is there! 
 
 The Louse That Was a Hobo Barber 
 
 Old Tom was the name of a head louse which a certain 
 hobo barber carried with him. The only place he would work 
 was at the county fairs. It was a good joke to him to take Old 
 Tom out of the little celluloid box in which he was carried — get 
 a well-dressed man in the chair, cut his hair and ask him if he 
 wanted a shampoo. If the customer refused, he would dig up 
 Old Tom, and place him between his thumb and index finger, act- 
 ing as though he had pulled him out of the victims hair. The 
 result was always a shampoo together with a tonic. He would 
 always make from $4 to $8 a day more than any other barber 
 in the shop. The way he kept Old Tom alive, he would find a 
 man who had dandruff, and rake off a few crumbs and put into 
 the box for Old Tom to feed on. 
 
 Of course stunts are always pulled off behind the customer's 
 back. The dirty towel trick is used a great deal for the purpose 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 35 
 
 of coaxing the customer to get a shampoo. This is always done 
 behind the customer's back. Take one end of a towel and rub 
 it on the bottom of your shoe and rub the other end in the hair, 
 showing said customer the dirty end, and he will fall for a sham- 
 poo nine times out of ten. 
 
 This is not pulled by some barbers, as they would soon lose 
 out at this kind of a game. It is not used by all of the floaters. 
 I am a self-made man and did not make very much out of my- 
 self, but I am somewhat like the candidate for congress from a 
 certain district in Missouri. He said that he was raised up be- 
 tween the plow handles and corn rows, and that he thought this 
 would qualify him to serve the agricultural interests of that dis- 
 trict. At this juncture another man jumped up from the audi- 
 ence and asked the candidate to wait a minute, and said: "I 
 have been waiting for an hour for you to express yourself as 
 to your nationality, and now by heck I have found out. You are 
 a com field pumpkin." 
 
 What Becomes of the Barber When Too Old To Work 
 
 I have been asked the question many times, as to what 
 becomes of the barber when he is too old to work any longer 
 at his trade. It may be said that a barber never lives to be 
 very old, except on rare occasions. The average life of a bar- 
 ber is from eight to twelve years, provided he remains in the 
 business steady during that time. The majority of barbers con- 
 tract T. B. after they have worked at the chair from five to 
 eight years. Some become broken in health after a few years 
 at the trade, and inherit a dirty little shop at one end of the 
 street and wait for the end. 
 
 It is generally the case, that when a barber passes the active 
 stage of life, and becomes broken in health, he is succeeded by 
 the young college student who is new at the game, to whom 
 the barber business seems alluring. He does not usually care 
 to save a dollar for a rainy day, and as a result makes a lower 
 schedule of prices, and thereby takes the business away from 
 the older and more experienced barber, who has seen all of the 
 rough edges of life and who is not in the business for his health. 
 You will find usually that the trade will leave the old, broken 
 down barber for the smiling faced young barber, who is still 
 unsullied by the world. 
 
 When I first started in to learn the barber trade, a young 
 barber in a shop had a hard row of stumps to hoe, as everyone 
 who came in would wait for the boss, or the "old heads" in the 
 shop, as we called them. This is practiced today to some ex- 
 tent, but nothing like it was twenty years ago. 
 
 At the time I was learning my trade, few young men patron- 
 ized the barber shops. The older men found it a necessitv, as 
 most of their beards were so "tough" that they could not shave 
 themselves. As a result of this condition a barber had a pretty 
 hard time of it. I have bucked the chair all day long, and as 
 a net result would have about three shaves to my credit, and 
 at the end of the day, would be completely worn out. Practic- 
 
36 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 ally all of the shaves we got those days were what we called 
 "old boxes" and "squirrels." This was the nickname we had for 
 rough and bony faces. Take it from me barbers had a hard time 
 getting by in those days, as shaves were few and far between, 
 and a slick dime was all that was charged for shaving one of 
 these "squirrels." It was worth a dollar. A fellow could not 
 have made a decent living wage even at a dollar a shave. 
 
 In those days the old barber did not get out and mix among 
 the younger fellows as they do today. One of the chief reasons 
 for the barber business being a much better paying profession 
 today than twenty years ago, is the fact that sanitary condi- 
 tions have been put on such a high plane. I worked in the days 
 before the hydraulic and base-bottomed chairs. The chairs used 
 then by the barbers had four legs, and we would sweep the hair 
 under the chairs for a whole week at a time. This was done 
 to make our competitors think that we were doing a flourishing 
 business, as well as the public. I have seen the porter, in fol- 
 lowing out the instructions of our boss, sweep the hair up in 
 a large pile on Sunday morning, and carry it back and place 
 it under the chairs on Monday morning, to make a spectacular 
 and prosperous showing. But in those days a porter around a 
 shop was as scarce as hen's teeth. The modern round bottom 
 chair has done away with this unsanitary custom. The dirtiest 
 barber shop in the country today is kept cleaner than the clean- 
 est of shops in those days. As soon as the hair hits the floor 
 today in the up-to-date barber shops, a wide-eyed porter is on 
 the job with a broom, and to the trash can it goes. A good por- 
 ter has just as much to do with holding the trade of a shop as 
 any of the expert barbers. If the shop has a good porter who 
 knows his business, he should be liberally paid for the services 
 he renders. When he is making money for the shop, he should 
 be making it for himself. He has nothing at stake but his work, 
 and he can quit on short notice. It is best to pay a good porter 
 what he is worth, as it is difficult to secure porters who are en- 
 tirely satisfactory. 
 
 Whfen I started in to learn the trade, it required three years 
 to serve your apprenticeship. But after working for twenty-five 
 years, I have discovered that I am just beginning to learn a 
 little something about the business, and am going to quit it on 
 the strength of what I have learned. The barbers union requires 
 an apprentice to serve three years at the trade before he can 
 make application for a union card. 
 
 In the early days we cut hair for 15 and 25 cents and shaved 
 for 10 cents. This was the chief cause for so many poorly 
 equipped shops and unsanitary conditions. This will be ex- 
 plained to you when you stop to compare the prices received 
 then and now, but on the other hand, the price of living has 
 doubled since that time, as well as barber supplies also increas- 
 ing in price. 
 
 The average patron of the barber shop appreciates clean, 
 sanitary conditions. And when you find one that don't, run 
 him out as he is standing in the way of the others. As a rule 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 37 
 
 the man who wants you to work for nothing is the fellow who 
 rarely patronizes a barber shop, and thinks that if he spends 
 two bits a month for shaves and gets a hair cut once a year, he 
 is making the barber rich. 
 
 The barber who does work cheaply, or below the customary 
 prices, usually has an unsanitary shop, and very poor equipment. 
 I say to the community, demand good, clean work, even if you 
 have to pay higher prices, and you will have more efficient bar- 
 bers and more up-to-date barber shops. 
 
 I say to the barber, v/hen you shave a man, make him feel 
 that he cannot shave himself again with that old dull razor which 
 he possesses. If you romp his whiskers off like Nancy Hanks 
 went around the race trace, on the Fourth of July, any way to 
 get them off, to get the price. He will feel that he can romp 
 them off as well, and thereby economize by saving the price of 
 a shave. But the customer cannot expect a 25 cent shave for 
 15 cents. This the barber cannot do, as he is a human being 
 and must make a profit on his work, if he is to make a living, 
 or else quit business. 
 
 When you make a demand for good work make it with the 
 price. You may say, "Oh, well, it is all profit." Sit down, take 
 a pencil and figure the cost of face lotions, powder, soap, the 
 upkeep of his tools, light and water, rent, insurance, taxes, hire 
 of porter, and what he gives away each year to charitable insti- 
 tutions, which are many, and keep the barber drained of pocket 
 change. When a down and out beggar comes to town, the bar- 
 ber is usually the first one he hits for a meal. I have had dull 
 days, where I shaved only one or two men. A beggar would 
 come along and I would dig up the proceeds of my day's earn- 
 ings and give to him. As a rule, you will find that the barbers 
 are the biggest hearted men in the world. The majority of 
 them are too generous for their own welfare. The reason for 
 this is, that if he don't contribute to everything that comes along, 
 the public will look on him as being stingy, and call him a tight- 
 wad. For this reason a barber can have a little peace of mind 
 in a city, and also become more prosperous. If he does not feel 
 that his business justifies him in giving away $15 or $20 every 
 few days, he can refuse to do so, and there is nothing more said 
 or thought about it. 
 
 Puss Ervin Was Also A Hobo Barber 
 
 Did you ever meet Puss Ervin? He was a big-hearted 
 guy, and also a good sport. He had nothing to bother him, and 
 hardly brains enough to make an ant run backwards, and he 
 would jump a job in order to have a new place to hang his hat 
 up on Monday morning. Many is the time that Puss and I have 
 jumped a job together, caught a train and listened to the click 
 of the rails until the next Monday morning, when we would 
 stop off, get a new job and go to work. In the early days it 
 was no trick to get a job, all you had to do was to reach up and 
 pull one off a tree at any town or cross-roads. But it cannot 
 be done today. We have rode many miles together and did not 
 
38 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 hesitate to board either passenger or freight trains, and do not 
 deny the fact that we have counted many cross ties. I have 
 counted them until I could see them in my sleep at night in my 
 berth. This being in a hay rack, cattle car or the floor of a box 
 car, with a newspaper for a counterpane. Puss stuttered so 
 badly, that he made many blunders. When he shaved a man, 
 he would try to ask him if he would like to have his hair wet 
 or dry, and he could not say "wet" to save his life. He would 
 say, "d-d-do y-y-you w-want it w-w-w-w-et, or sh-a-11 I s-s-s-spit 
 on it?" And of course this caused trouble, as no one wanted 
 their hair spit on. Puss was a good hand to laugh, and in a 
 short time after such an outbreak, would have them all laugh- 
 ing. Then he and the customer would go and take another drink. 
 Puss's favorite drink was white mule. I tried one day to tell 
 Puss that white mule was a negro's drink, and I asked him why 
 he drank it. He said that he drank it because it kicked back- 
 wards. 
 
 Puss went out one night and got stewed up to 110. He 
 did not feel very good as the white mule had made him kick 
 backwards too much. Early next morning I started in to work 
 him over with a massage and hot towels. I had his face all 
 covered over with towels, when a lady came in with her little 
 boy. Just as I took the towels off, the little boy went to his 
 mother and asked, "mother is that man sick?" 
 
 Music from Tin Cans in the Texas Panhandle 
 
 Remarks about eating canned goods, makes me think of the 
 time I ate canned goods in the Panhandle of Texas until 
 my sides stuck out like a billy goat. I put up at a 
 hotel in a little town in the Texas Panhandln. We 
 had nothing to eat except canned goods. There were pyramids 
 of empty cans piled around the house, and in the evening when 
 the wind would rise to something resembling a gale, we would 
 have a great variety of music, as the result of the rattling of the 
 tin cans. At first when strangers would hear the noise, they 
 would remark, "what beautiful music, it must be the Salvation 
 Army, from the sound of the tambourines." My sleep was cut 
 short for the first few nights, when I complained of the dis- 
 turbance, and asked why they did not remove the cans. The old 
 gentleman who was acting as proprietor, said that there was 
 no use, as the Mexican burros would eat them up in a few days. 
 The waiter at the hotel looked like Rip Van Winkle, with his 
 long whiskers. The supper bell would ring and we would gather 
 around the table. The way some of the boarders would rush in 
 to the table, reminded me of a bunch of hungry goats. I asked 
 for a glass of ice water, and did not mean any harm in doing so. 
 The waiter with his golden locks, glared at me, and said, "Who 
 in the h — 1 ever heard of such a thing as ice water in the sum- 
 mer time?" 
 
 A Few Words to the Long Haired Barber 
 
 Before bringing this book to a close, no doubt the young 
 lady who has been contemplating learning the barber trade, 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 39 
 
 would be interested in knowing as to my sentiments in regards 
 to them working at this trade. It is not my intentions, in pub- 
 lishing this book, to reflect, or in any way take the right of 
 anyone away from them. We are taught in these United 
 State that this is a free country. I am only expressing my sen- 
 timents as I see it and from my own experience of 25 years in 
 the game called "bucking the chair." First, I do not think it a 
 lady's place to work in a barber shop. Second, I do not believe 
 she can work at the trade and still keep the full respect of the 
 male sex, except in a few instances. Third, it is impossible for 
 a woman to secure a union card in the barbers union. And this 
 would compel her to move out on a side street in some dirty, 
 ill-kept shop, where she receives the most difficult class of 
 work, and where the prices are the cheapest. 
 
 As most of us know our bad failings, I do not think it best 
 for anyone to place themselves in this position. As I have re- 
 marked before, I still have my first ladies' hair to cut over the 
 age of twelve. It has been very few that I have even given a 
 massage or shampoo, and don't want their patronage. Not that 
 I don't like the ladies, it is because I do like them and I want to 
 remain doing so and the less I find out about them the more I 
 love them. Neither do I like to shave a dead man. The above 
 things I promised myself when I first started in the business 
 and I also promised myself that I would not live a drunken 
 barbers life and I can safely say that I have never broken the 
 rules for in spite of all my ups and downs I have taken but a 
 few drinks. The above article calls to my mind one time I 
 dropped off at Garden City, Kansas, looking for a job. One of 
 the lady barbers was sitting down nursing the baby; on my 
 approaching the inside she jumped up and said to me, "You're 
 next." I informed her I was looking for a job. I landed one in 
 this shop and the first customer was a squirrel or a box as we 
 call most of the trade that goes to the cut-rate shop. I asked 
 him if his name wasn't Brush. He replied his name was Bush. 
 I said I knew it was one or the other. After working for an 
 hour to complete the job of shaving him he asked me to cut 
 the hair out of his ears and nose, that the cockleburs sure was 
 bad in the fields this year. 
 
 I Had Two At the Same Time in Tishomingo, Oklahoma 
 
 I worked at Tishomingo three weeks; at this town I had a 
 bone felon on my thumb and in a few days I took the measles 
 and went back to Ardmore broke. Not wanting to give the 
 measles to anyone I went to an old school house in the south 
 part of town.* It was cold and raining; my fever was 106. I 
 was picked up by a party belonging to the Seventh Day Ad- 
 ventist church. His name I have forgotten but Mr. Hunter, a 
 friend of theirs nursed me until I was able to get up. The last 
 I heard of Mr. Hunter he was in Shawnee, Okla. in the year 
 of 1902. I worked in Ardmore as stated but went to Tishomingo 
 before going to Purcell. You may think it funny that the life 
 of a hobo has been put in book form; the hobo enjoys his life. 
 
40 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 There is a diffrence between a hobo and a bum. A bum never 
 works and will starve before he will do so; a hobo goes from 
 place to place, works and makes his way and enjoys his life; in 
 fact he gets more out of life than most any other class of peo- 
 ple as he has nothing to bother him and he is independent and 
 can go at any moment. When the hobo barber gets ready to 
 blow, all he his to do is to slip a razor in his vest pocket and 
 his strop into his pants leg, catch a freight and go. If he 
 hasn't the price of a bed he may sleep on the grass and cover 
 with the sky. I don't like to do this in the winter with nothing 
 to eat — not even pie. 
 
 A man becomes hardened to this kind of a life and is not 
 satisfied with a life that ties him down and what I have been 
 trying to tell you is that the barber trade and the printers trade 
 makes as many hoboes as any other trade in the world today. 
 But it is at that a hard life to live. Think about a man riding 
 a rattler (as we call the freight train) 15,000 miles at a clip 
 with a hay rack for a berth, a newspaper for a mattress and no 
 comfort with which to cover. I have seen hoboes catch a freight 
 train and ride it for 200 or 300 miles and then catch the first 
 one going back the same way from which they came. It looked 
 to me as if they were freight train crazy. I have my first 
 hobo to refuse to feed but I have refused the bums that will 
 not work and the hobo will if he gets a chance. 
 
 I have picked the hobo up, taken them to my home, fed 
 them and bought them shoes after their feet were frost bitten 
 and kept them till they were able to go to work if there was 
 any to be found. Low wages makes discontent among the young 
 men and starts them rambling around trying to find something 
 better. I have ridden every spot on a freight and passenger 
 train but under the cow-catcher; this I never had the nerve to 
 try. I saw a freight come in the yards one day, the engine 
 ran through a pile of cinders that had been dumped and burned 
 a bo to death. I have ridden the outside of the vestibule holding 
 to the rods and no foot space for my feet to stand in the cold 
 winter. The engineer could see me when he went to make a 
 curve and tried to scald me, it being so cold that the water 
 would freeze almost by the time it would hit my clothing. I was 
 almost one solid cake of ice walking around. 
 
 And then for a berth in a hay rack in a cattle car. 
 
 How a Uniform Barber Shop is Run 
 
 I will explain to the reader of this book what a uniform 
 barber shop is and how they are run. Some cities have shops 
 they call uniform shops; to do this all the barbers must be 
 either black-headed or red-headed and must weigh about the 
 same and the same height; must all dress in solid white and 
 wear either a black or red tie; white shoes with black or red 
 strings (the color of the tie and strings to match with the bar- 
 ber's hair). The shops run in this way are not in style today 
 as they were several years ago. I worked in a shop run this 
 way several years ago in Dallas, Texas, and also one in Okla- 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 41 
 
 homa City. In those days the large shops in the cities had a 
 stool at each chair and when a barber was not at work he had 
 to sit there till another customer came in. Some places in the 
 large cities a barber has to stand around his chair all the time 
 whether he is working or not. The most of these places have 
 a hard tile floor. A man standing on this floor for twelve long 
 hours a day on his feet and the most of the weight being on his 
 right and the left foot with a little or no weight at all on the 
 left foot leaves his kidneys in a strained condition. This causes 
 fever and thirst. Brother barber did you ever notice that on Sat- 
 urday that you will drink four times as much water as any 
 other day in the week. This is the chief cause for it and also 
 is the chief cause for a barber drinking; he feels so rotten on 
 Sunday that he is either apt to fall for drink or dope of some 
 kind. The above is not practiced today as it was in saloon days. 
 You will find more barbers suffering from nervous headaches 
 and indigestion than any other class of tradesmen. 
 
 I Was Told to Tie Up My Bull 
 
 Why does the barber have a record of letting the bull 
 loose? Because he is in a position to hear all the stale bull 
 that is going. I recall one time when a young lady and I were 
 out for a stroll in Dallas, Texas. I was pouring the hot air to 
 her and I thought that everything I was saying was being soaked 
 up; all at once she turned to me and said, "Aren't you from the 
 country?" "Sure, I said." She replied, "I thought you was." 
 When I asked her the reason she informed me it was because 
 my breath smelled like cord wood. 
 
 Well, this held me spell-bound for a while but I soon broke 
 over and began to pour it on again. We walked down Main 
 street. When we got in front of the largest barber shop in 
 Dallas she led me up to the barber pole and stopped. "Well," I 
 said, "what in the heck are you trying to pull now?" She re- 
 quested me to wait there until she returned. She went away 
 and on her return she brought back a rope about ten feet long. 
 She said, " I want you to tie that bull up here to this pole so he 
 can be sent to the pasture in the morning vnth the herd that 
 hangs around his place. 
 
 I Fell Out of the Berth. 
 
 I recall falling from my berth; a friend and I caught a 
 freight train several years back for McAlester. We stayed in 
 town for a few days and not finding anything to do we went 
 broke and at night we had to find a place to flop as the hobo 
 calls a place to sleep. We strolled down in the wholesale dis- 
 trict looking for a place. It being very cold we wished to find 
 some inside place if possible. I found a doorway leading into 
 the basement under a wholesale house facing the roundhouse; 
 after entering the place I found about four feet of water in the 
 basement with a plank lying across the water, about one foot 
 above same. .This being a nice warm place I decided to flop for 
 the night on this plank. I spread down a newspaper for my 
 mattress and went to bed with the door of the basement open. 
 
42 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 The switch engine threw the light on me after going to sleep, 
 and forgetting that my berth was narrow I lost my grip and 
 fell into the water. The next day we counted cross ties until 
 my feet felt like the photo looks on the Blue Jay corn plasters, 
 and my shoe soles were wore so thin that I could have told the 
 side of the dime that was up if I had had one. 
 
 When a Barber Ought to Unhitch 
 
 I shall not discuuss this subject about where a barber ought 
 to unhitch; that is, when a man comes in the shop and gets in 
 the chair and expects a barber to work on him with his head 
 full of dirt and grease. There is absolutely no reason for a man 
 going in this condition when a pan of water and a bar of soap 
 can be had at a small cost. Anyone doing so may be said that 
 it is absolutely hard down old laziness. You get in the barber's 
 chair and you expect a first class piece of work and if the clip- 
 pers or razor pulls a little, then you holler. Many people think 
 that the barber shop is a place to clean up; this is true, but if 
 you don't feel that you can afford to pay the barber for wash- 
 ing out your hair when the scalp is covered with dirt and grease. 
 Wash it before going to the shop and you will always get bet- 
 ter work. I say this to the working class that works at dirty 
 work. I do not say that it is a disgrace to work and get dirty 
 but I say it is a disgrace for a man to go in this condition after 
 he is off the job. Did you ever stop and think your wife does 
 not approve of you going in this way? I have worked at as 
 dirty work as anyone but the trouble is we let ourselves drift in 
 this way and just think, "Oh well, I will let the barber do it, 
 that is what I am paying him for, and don't stop and think that 
 when you try to give the barber the worst of it by shielding a 
 little laziness that you are the man that is getting the worst 
 end of the deal as you will not get a decent job of work, and you 
 cannot expect it if you will stop and think for a moment. I ask 
 the reader of this book not to think that I look down on the 
 man who works at dirty work for a living for he is the man 
 who has my sympathy because I know what it is to work for a 
 living. I have had to do it all my life. This is one thing that I 
 must say that the Mexican people in all the work that I have 
 done for them I have never seen one of them in my chair with 
 a dirty scalp. Neglecting the scalp causes the hair to fall out. 
 Go to the barber and have him give you what you need. He 
 can tell you and most apt to have a supply on hand. The reason 
 I tell you to go to the barber to get your supplies is because the 
 barbers buy the best that can be had and goods that never 
 get in the hands of any other dealers but the barbers and the 
 barber supply houses, made for the barbers use only. This book 
 I have written to eliminate the grief between the barber and 
 the customer as much as possible without causing any hard 
 feelings between the three of us. As I have mentioned before 
 I am an old head at the chair, or at least I have 25 years of 
 the business to my sorrow hanging over my head and that 
 makes me think that I am an old timer at the chair. It is esti- 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 43 
 
 mated that the young men that go to the colleges and take a 
 course only one out of every 25 stay in the business as long as 
 ten years; they usually quit within one month to one year. If 
 he sticks one year he is likely to stay in the game as he is just 
 beginning to learn good by this time. I have no knocks to make 
 on the barber colleges as it is a good place to go to learn the 
 trade but there are only 107© that go and take a course that 
 would ever make a barber if they worked all their lives. I say 
 this because in the first place they are not cut out for this trade. 
 There has been many a good farm hand ruined with the barber 
 business. Why? Because just as I have said before it is a 
 cheap trade and anyone can get in it with a very little money, 
 and as a rule he makes very little when he gets in it, that is 
 when you count up the amount of hours he works. 
 
 He Would Be There 
 
 Well I don't like to tell a story that sounds a little rough 
 but I am telling the public my experince for the past forty 
 years and must tell this one as it is too good to keep. You know 
 I have told you about being in the real estate business. I had 
 a lawsuit with an old fellow and he sure was a hard nut to con- 
 vince. He beat me in the district court and I said I would carry 
 it to the county court or I will beat you. Well he informed me 
 that he would be there. So I carried the case to the county 
 court and he beat me again. Well, I said I would carry it to 
 the state supreme court where I will beat you. Well, he said, I 
 will be there so he beat me again. Well, I thought I would bluff 
 him so I said I would carry this case to the United States Court 
 where I will beat you. He said he would be there. I carried it up 
 to the U. S. Court and he beat me again. Well, I scratched my 
 head awhile as I knew that I was at the end of my row so I 
 said, darn your hide I will take this case to h — 1 where I will beat 
 you. Well he said, my lawyer will be there. 
 
 W^hy Red, White and Blue Are Used on the Barber Signs 
 There are two stories told about the barber sign. I know 
 the reader of this book has wondered why these colors are used. 
 The story was told by an old German barber that worked many 
 years ago. Of course there is a history behind the subject that 
 I myself would like to know more about than I do or anyone 
 else has offered; the barber business dates back many years 
 and the story goes that the first barber was an Arab. He 
 shaved his customers lying on the ground or on a table; this 
 table was also used for an operating table, in those days the 
 barbers practiced surgery and dentistry. The barbers also in 
 the United States in the early days practiced dentistry and sur- 
 gery. The old German barber story as to why the three colors 
 are used in the sign is that the white represented the bandage, 
 the blue represented the veins, and the red represented the 
 blood. The white man began to profit when he robbed the negro 
 out of the only trade that was ever born in a negro. I say the 
 barber trade belongs to the negro; it is a second nature 
 for the majority of the people to want to be gruff and cranky 
 
44 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 with the barber and enjoys seeing him jump at the crack of his 
 whip. This is due to the negro barbers petting the white man 
 to death for his trade. An old negro told me this story as to 
 how the barber sign got the colors. He said the red represents 
 blood, the white represents the teeth and the blue represents 
 the gums. He said the negroes in the south had blue gums and 
 the real blue gum negro of the south is poison, and when the 
 three separated into one branch of business to themselves the 
 doctors and dentists did not want the red, white and blue sign 
 so it was left on the barbers hands. The dentist at that time 
 pulled teeth for 10 and 15 cents and today they get $1.00, and 
 the barber gets 20 and 25 most of the places and the doctor 
 gets $3.00 in town and from $5.00 to $25.00 for calling in the 
 country, so why shouldn't the barber get better prices than he 
 is getting. I can tell you, it is for the lack of backbone; he is 
 afraid that some of his customers will carry away that two 
 weeks' growth of whiskers that he got when Crusoe passed them 
 out and he got a basket full of them. 
 
 How I Got My First Name 
 
 What is there in a name? Did you ever stop and consider 
 whether or not there was anything to your name or how you 
 got it? Many years back in the early days in speaking to a 
 man who had a trade no matter what it was, when spoken to 
 by anyone of his associates they would call him by his trade 
 name; if he was a smith of any kind they would call him Smith; 
 if he was a stone mason they would call him Mason; if he was 
 a carpenter they called him Carpenter; if he was a barber they 
 called him Barber. This name is used a great deal today among 
 people when speaking to a barber, but how Jim Hog of Texas 
 got his name is more than I can say. I knew a man in Kentucky 
 whose name was Step; he was heard crying on the step of the 
 porch and the parties could not find the parents of the child 
 and called it Step. I remember an old man in the above named 
 state who was found on the bank of the river under a beach 
 tree and he went by the name of Henry Beach, taking his name 
 after the tree under which he was found. I have seen this old 
 man myself; he was about ninety years of age when I left that 
 state. The name Sawyer was given to the Sawyers because at 
 one time a man was a sawyer by trade and everybody called 
 him Sawyer and he lost his first name, so you don't know where 
 you got yours do you? 
 
 How The Famous Tom Sawyer Got His Name 
 
 The first family by the name of Sawyer in the United 
 States came from Ireland so the story goes, as it has been told 
 to me when I was a small boy. It is alledged his given name 
 was Ambers Sawyer. His family consisted of three boys and 
 two girls; the names of the boys was Tom, Charley and James 
 William. The girls' names were Susie and Sallie. In the ceme- 
 tery in Chattanooga, Tenn. rests the remains of the first Saw- 
 yer family. The story has been told that the father of Tom 
 Sawyer set forth to find the boy a name different from any 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 45 
 
 other child in the community, being the first child in the family. 
 Thinking him very smart he came to the United States to give 
 him a chance in life. The boy was several months old before 
 he was named. The father went to the creek one day and sat 
 down on the foot log waiting for a bird to whistle a sweet name 
 for the boy and fell asleep. A neighbor came to the creek to 
 cross; thinking of having some fun he got a rock and crept up 
 to the old gentleman and dropped it in the creek, the rock 
 striking the eddy water and made a sound like Tom. The aged 
 man jumped up and said that would do, that he would just call 
 the boy Tom. The names Charley, James William and Sallie 
 have been handed down to the late generation. There never has 
 been any of the Sawyers that I ever heard of having their 
 names in history or on the pen roll call. Tom Sawyer, myself 
 and James Sawyer, my brother that I taught the trade in 
 Cement, Okla., in the years of 1905 and 1906 who is now run- 
 ning a shop in Naravisa, New Mexico is the most noted Sawyer 
 I have been able to find. Of course I have never made it in the 
 world very far as my chance was somewhat like the candidate 
 who was running for Senator in Missouri. I am too much 
 Irish it being on both sides of the house except one grand- 
 father and grandmother; my great grandmother on my father's 
 side was a full blood Mississippian having been run from that 
 state when a mere girl with her father, coming to the territory 
 of Kentucky near Pine Knot, in Whitley county, and grew 
 up and married a German by the name of Gillerith. 
 
 I have been told the Mississippi Indians are the Cherokees, 
 so my chances in the upper world was snatched from me when 
 the best friend I ever had died. I was about the age of 14, 
 had never had a chance to go to school but this I loved to do. 
 I went to school about three months before coming to Oklahoma 
 after my mother died and I found a friend by the name of Wal- 
 lace who I lived with and got the benefit of three or four months 
 schooling, after this going to the south part of the state. Here 
 I did chores for a doctor and picked cotton and went to school 
 another three months not completing the third grade this leav- 
 ing me in bad as for education and now if I learn a trick I have 
 to pay dear for it but I have the will power to get it but have 
 not got the nerve to stick. Speaking about my nationality being 
 Indian and Irish the balance must be dog. 
 
 He Would Rather Take His Shave Standing Up Than 
 To Lie Down 
 
 Speaking about some people being so far in the sticks that 
 their chickens would mix with the hoot owls and the dogs with 
 the coyotes, when I see how green some people are I think that 
 they must have cheated the dog. A young man came in the shop 
 a few days back from in the back woods part of the country and 
 called for a shave. I asked him to get in the chair. He wanted 
 to know if I couldn't shave him standing up. I told him that I 
 could but it was easier for both of us if he would lay down in 
 the chair. After coaxing him for several minutes I got him to 
 
46 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 get in the chair; I reversed the lever on the chair and started 
 to lay him down, he got frightened and jumped out of the chair 
 'and said he would take his standing up rather than to lie down. 
 Then he wanted to know what I would charge to shave him 
 standing up. I told him with soap and water I would shave 
 him for 25 cents and a dry shave was 10 cents. He said that 
 he would take the dry shave so I went to work and when I got 
 about half way over his face a jackass brayed and one of the 
 boys asked what was that noise and he said it must be some 
 darn fool getting a dry shavo. 
 
 Health Seeking in Piatt National Park 
 
 The Piatt National Park is in the city of Sulphur, Okla. It 
 is situated in the center of the same. After so much has been 
 said about this park and the history of same will say it lies in 
 a rugged plot of land approximately three miles long and one 
 mile wide. It is kept by the government, having many interest- 
 ing points to visit and pure water to make everyone healthy. 
 Among the natives of the Piatt National Park can be seen a 
 fine herd of deer, buffalo and elk, squirrels, birds of all kinds. 
 The first named are so gentle they will eat out of your hands; 
 the red squirrels are a source of constant delight to visitors 
 and it is the pleasant custom of many city people to visit 
 the park daily with nuts for them. They are very tame and 
 will perch on your shoulder or knee to devour the nuts taken 
 from your fingers. 
 
 The Merits of the Water 
 
 Sulphur, Okla. bases its highest claim to the public notice on 
 the properties of its wonderful mineral springs and their repu- 
 tation for healing. The principal springs are the bromide, sul- 
 phur and medicinal waters. Chlorine appears in all the waters. 
 It is highly efficient, antiseptic and counteracts and eradicates 
 disease germs; combined with sulphur, iron, soda and magnesia 
 the medicinal value is not to be overestimated. This with the 
 laxative action of the waters leads naturally to strength with 
 which to eliminate waste, and defend the body against any 
 attacking disease germs. Hundreds have come to Sulphur bed- 
 ridden or in wheel chairs and have gone away renewed in mind 
 and body, perhaps walking for the first time alone in years. The 
 hungry people of the world who are looking for health no mat- 
 ter what his or her condition may be, no matter how nervous 
 you may be a drink of bromide water will bring long 
 hours of sleep and rest to you, with all the modern swimming- 
 pools and bath houses to help take away weary and exhausted 
 feelings of the body. Thousands of health seekers have been 
 benefitted and cured by drinking this water; however, none of 
 the 33 mineral springs in the park analyze exactly the same, 
 the government finding the difference so infinitesimal that two 
 analysis are sufficiently representative of the whole. It is 
 often said that after drinking these waters that you do not like 
 the flat tasting waters. This park is set aside by Uncle Sam 
 for a playground for his children. It is very easy of access. 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 47 
 
 being only 90 miles from Oklahoma City and 157 from Dallas, 
 Texas, with noted trails leading to Sulphur, which is the termi- 
 nus of the Ozark, Hockaday, Stapleton and Bankhead highways. 
 
 You will find the largest mineral artesian well in the world 
 flowing 2,500 gallons of mineral water every minute; the camp 
 grounds are equipped with all the modern conveniences neces- 
 sary with rest rooms and shower baths, plenty of shade and it is 
 all free. Sleeping at night is a pleasure as the mosquito 
 does not molest you at nights. This town is divided into two 
 towns but the people in the town are not; they seem to be of a 
 big-hearted class of people and no jealousy existing among 
 themselves. You may camp and live in this town as cheap as 
 at home. Another thing that makes it a pleasure to come here 
 is that the government will not allow people to camp on 
 the grounds who refuse to register their names and the number 
 in the family. Also must have a conveyance in which to travel. 
 This eliminates the hi-jackers and thugs that may come. By 
 refusing to register your name the law is notified, and in a few 
 minutes you are in jail waiting an investigation. I have been 
 told by the government men that there has been many wanted 
 crooks picked up in this way. I can recall several years ago 
 a friend and I rode horseback through Sulphur. We had noth- 
 ing to eat but raw corn. At this time the extent of Sulphur 
 was an old frame hotel and a store carrying about $50 worth 
 of goods. 
 
 I cannot speak too highly of the wonders the sulphur water 
 has done for me and for others who I have heard testify. I am 
 going to tell you a story that happened to my dog while at Sul- 
 phur. Of course in this park, dogs are not allowed and the 
 park-keeper struck at the dog with a hoe; the dog dodged, the 
 hoe cut his tail off and I was sorry for the dog. I took the 
 puppy to the spring and poured some of the famous water on 
 his tail and bound it up in some of the black sulphur mud; in a 
 few days the dog had a full grown tail. I told this story to the 
 city authorities and the chief of police said to the judge, we 
 will fine "you $10 for retailing dogs without a license. 
 
 The Relation and Companionship Between Man and Dog 
 
 It was at the beginning of creation that the Almighty 
 allotted all living animals the average life of 30 years. He said 
 that 12 years was enough for the dog, that after that age he 
 would be of no use to the world and all he could do was to set 
 around and growl. Then man saw the chance to prolong his 
 life and asked to be allotted the 18 years that the dog did not 
 want. At this request the man was allotted the 18 years and 
 made the average of man's life 48. This at present time makes 
 18 years of man's life a dog's life. 
 
 According to these figures it will put man and 
 dog on an equality. When we look at the daily walks of man, 
 some more than others, we can see why we hear people say 
 there is a companionship between man and dog.] You know 
 that some people think more of an old dog than they do of a 
 
48 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 poorly dressed, dirty, little child. I have had women bring- their 
 dogs to the barber shop to have me clip their hair. Here is 
 where I lost a customer and had the pleasure of saying what I 
 thought. These same people would think it a disgrace to pick 
 up a little shabby dressed child in the street and treat them t© 
 a hair cut, but if it was a poodle dog with nice long hair and 
 the fool barber would say what a beautiful dog she would put 
 on a show that would make a man throw up the chilli he had 
 the week before for supper. 
 
 The Barbers Eleven Commandments 
 
 1. Thou shalt not ask the barber for credit. 
 
 2. Thou shalt not spit on the floor or on the stove. 
 
 3. Thou shalt not talk about my competitor to me neither 
 shalt thou talk about me to my competitor. 
 
 4. Thou shalt not ask the barber to break his rules or ex- 
 pect him to work overtime. 
 
 5. Thou shalt not get your hair cut by one barber and ex- 
 pect another to do your shaving. 
 
 6. Thou shalt not wait until the last minute to get thy 
 barber work done. 
 
 7. Thou shalt not loaf in the barber shop on Saturday and 
 busy days. 
 
 8. Thou shalt not play with the barber or the customer 
 when getting work done. 
 
 9. Thou shalt not let thy w^ife cut thy hair or shave thy- 
 s'elf unless thou art broke. 
 
 10. Thou shalt not sit in the barber chair unless thou wants 
 barber work done. 
 
 11. Thou shalt, when in need of barber work wend thy way 
 to the union shops if there are any in thy town. 
 
 Will confidence in the human race come back? Will the 
 human race ever gain confidence in one another as there was 
 when I was a lad of a boy? I recall this instance when a boy 
 in whom we had all the confidence in the world in our neighbor; 
 even the nations had confidence in one another. Today it seems 
 to me that the whole world has lost confidence in its rulers so 
 have we in each other. You may elect the best official to office 
 you can find and it is only a question of time till he has his 
 hands behind him. I remember when a neighbor lad called at 
 my fathers home and asked to borrow $10 and said he would 
 pay it back in ten days; my father let him have the ten and did 
 not take the scratch of a pen for security. Of course ten dol- 
 lars in those days was a large amount of money. We enjoyed 
 honesty as well as the good old fireplace, and today we neither 
 enjoy honesty, confidence or the old fireplace. You may today 
 go to make a deal with the most honest man you can find and 
 you doubt about half what he tells you no matter how straight 
 you may think he is. There is a lack of confidence in the 
 neighborhood. In my boyhood days a man who had the name 
 of being a thief had a hard time getting by and did not stand 
 
LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 49 
 
 very high in society. Today the larger thief a man is, and if 
 smooth with it, the higher up he gets and it may be said the 
 thieves are the chief cause of the lost confidence in the human 
 race. In my boyhood days if a man gave another security it 
 would be in form of a due bill as it was called, this due bill 
 read like the I. O. U. whatever the amount may be, dated, and 
 his name signed and it was considered good as a note, and could 
 be sold and disposed of as legal tender to anyone whether the 
 parties knew each other or not. It was not required that peo- 
 ple know each other. Today if you want to borrow ten you 
 must give a full history of your father and grandfathers past. 
 
 A Few Things That Is Well To Know 
 
 I saw a man one day walking backward past the barber 
 shop and I asked him why he walked so. He replied that he 
 had worked five years at the barber trade and he had been go- 
 ing backwards ever since. 
 
 The daily grind of the barber is like the old Georgia negro 
 Wash's mule. Wash was an old southern darkey who lived in 
 Georgia on a plantation. He built a barn for his mule, put it 
 in the barn; the animal stood with his head rammed in one side 
 of the barn and his tail in the other with a hump in his back. 
 So Wash thinking his mule was sick called the veterinary who, 
 finding the mule too long for the barn gave Wash instructions 
 to enlarge the barn and charged Wash $2 for taking the hump 
 out of the mule's back. The barber who does likewise with his 
 head rammed in the wall with a hump in his back and never 
 takes a vacation is more than likely to find himself employing 
 the undertaker to take the humps out of his back. 
 
 The Hobo That Never Accepts the Offerings 
 
 A hobo knocked on the back door of a city home. The lady 
 came to answer the call. Madam, said the cultivated hobo, 
 could I prevail upon you to provide an unfortunate wanderer 
 with breakfast? 
 
 No you can't said the hard-favored housewife. I don't be- 
 lieve in encouraging loafers. You'd better be thinking about 
 your soul. Here's a tract that will show you the way to heaven. 
 
 Thanks, madam, replied the tramp, as she moved away. I'll 
 accept the tract, but I don't mind telling you that my immediate 
 destination is south Texas. 
 
 How You Start Monday Wrong 
 
 When you get up on a Monday morning and God is in his 
 heaven and all is right with the world so far as you are con- 
 cerned, you sing and feel happy. Just as you start for the shop 
 the laundry grabber balls out. You throw your dirty shirt at 
 him, run for the door and the collector for the phone shoves a 
 bill in your face. After 30 minutes delay you rush for the 
 street car and get all heated up and you arrive at the shop 30 
 minutes late and of course the boss for the first time in six 
 months is on time so the day is utterly devastated. 
 
50 LIFE OF A HOBO BARBER 
 
 A Few Things That Is Well To Know 
 
 When a barber gambles for 40 or 50 years and draws a 
 full house he don't want to draw a pair of twins. 
 
 I have been on this earth since 1881 and I have been pleas- 
 ing and displeasing ever since. I have been robbed, boycotted, 
 lied on, lied to, talked about, in jail, in road wrecks, cyclones, 
 broke and disgusted, but I am just staying in Oklahoma just 
 to see what will happen next. 
 
 I have thought that I would run for U. S. Senator and go 
 to \yashington, D. C. where the feeble minded are going. 
 
 If the reader of the hobo barber finds any fault with this 
 book just step to the phone and call 00 and I will be there in 10 
 minutes. 
 
 Oh, say, don't call for 10 days as I have since putting out 
 this challenge received 10,000 calls and will likely overlook your 
 number. 
 
 I will bring this book to a close hoping that you have de- 
 rived some benefit from same, both the barber and the customer. 
 I have done all in my power to give a full understanding regard- 
 ing the barber business and concerning your personal relations 
 with one another. I hope some time to have the pleasure of 
 meeting the readers of the Hobo Barber. Address all communi- 
 cations to the author, H. M. Sawyer, Oklahoma City, Okla. 
 
LAWTON BABRER 
 
 SUPPLY COMPANY 
 
 We appreciate your Mail Orders 
 no matter how small or large they 
 may be. When in Lawton call and 
 see us. 
 
 H. D. ROBINSON 
 
 313 *'C" AVE. LAWTON, OKLA. 
 
 RAZOR STROP PASTE 
 
 Saves honing, always leaves a velvet edge 
 MAKES SHAVING A PLEASURE 
 
 Price 25c Per Box 
 
 Postage Paid to any point in the United States. Send Stamps 
 
 H. M. SAWYER 
 
 Oklahoma City - - Oklahoma 
 
ARMY GO 
 
 ..xnrv 1 vr V^UPiUKtbb 
 
 014 084 295 3 4 
 
 Has made many a man out of a hobo. Mr. Sawyer will 
 verify this fact. He wore ARMY CLOTHES and he 
 SAVED MONEY. Now he sells Army Goods and is 
 making money at that trade too. You will have the 
 same opportunity if you get into communication with 
 us. If you don't care to make money by selling ARMY 
 or NAVY GOODS, you might want to wear some and 
 save money that way. 
 
 ■ — f . 
 
 We carry a complete line of 
 
 ARMY AND NAVY GOODS 
 
 Army Shoes 
 
 Army Shirts 
 
 Khaki Breeches 
 
 Navy Shoes 
 
 Navy Shirts 
 
 Officers Breeches 
 
 Officers Dress Shoes 
 
 Army Underwear 
 
 Ladies Breeches 
 
 Hobnail Shoes 
 
 Navy Underwear 
 
 Blankets 
 
 Field Shoes 
 
 Khaki Shirts 
 
 Cots 
 
 Hip Boots 
 
 Army Overcoats 
 
 Tents 
 
 Knee Boots 
 
 Officers Coats 
 
 Gloves 
 
 Work Shoes 
 
 Rain Coats 
 
 Sweaters 
 
 If you are in Oklahoma City, come to our headquarters. 
 
 H 
 
 ARMY STORES CO. 
 
 J INC. 
 
 120 WEST RENO 
 
 112 WEST GRAND 
 
 Both stores between Broadway and Robinson Sts. 
 Mail Order address: Box 1112, Oklahoma City,Okla. 
 
 WRITE FOR PRICE LIST AND CATALOGUE