win oe seui uy ^xom-JCjo ruDJjioninu vv/., viyue, wuiu. AMES' SERIES OF ^ STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, No. 253. That Awful Carpet-Bag ( ORIGINAL FARCE. ) WITH CAST 0#" CHARACTKRS, ENTRANCES, A.,'D EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OP THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND THK WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY MARC- ED FROM THK HOST APPROVED ACT- ING COPY. PRICE 15 CENTS, k AMES 1 CLYDE, OHIO: PUBLISHING CO, id CO NJOO a*' *%? CD & ►- 8.' » I1& si i *S5 4?! Si? No goods sent C. 0. D. Payment MUST accompany all orders 9"^ ALPHABETICAL LIST DF xxieles ? Edition nf Plays. •* *31ss -4- FIFTEEN CENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE MARKED. 2 164 39 43 100 125 89 113 226 14 160 161 60 152 173 143 176 162 117' 2U7 52 76 141 26 191 194 227 211 163 91 36 34 229 223 81 85 83 196 29 18 10 45 79 144 (37 97 119 92 112 71 105 7 201 193 200 121 DRAMAS. A Desperate Game 3 2 After Ten * r ears 7 5 A Life's Revenge 7 5 Arrah de Baugh 7 5 Aurora Floyd 7 2 Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 8 Beauty of Lyons 11 2 Bill Detrick 7 3 Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 Brigands of Calabria 6 1 Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 Dora 5 2 Driven to the Wall 10 3 Driven from Home 7 4 East Lynne 8 7 Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 Factory Girl 6 3 Fielding Manor 9 6 Hid Hazard, 25c 10 3 Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 3 Henry Granden 11 8 Hon He Did It 3 2 Hidden Treasures ; 4 2 Hunter of the Alps 9 4 Hidden Hand 15 7 Lights and Shadows of the Great Rebellion, 25c 10 5 Lady of Lyons 12 5 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 Man and Wife 12 7 Maud's Peril 5 3 Midnight Mistake 6 2 Miriam's Crime 5 2 Michael Erie 8 3 Miller of Derwent Water 5 2 Mistletoe Bough 7 3 Mountebanks (The) 6 2 Old Honesty 5 2 Old Phil's P.irthday 5 3 Outcast's Wife 12 3 Out on the World 5 4 Oath Bound 6 2 Painter of Ghent 5 3 Poacher's Doom 8 3 Reverses 12 6 Rock Allen 5 3 Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 3 Thekla 9 4 The False Friend 6 1 The Fatal Blow 7 1 The Forty-Xiners 10 4 ntleman in Black 9 4 The New Magdalen 8 3 The Reward of Crime 5 3 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 The Vow of the Ornani 7 1 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 Toodles 7 2 Uncle Tom's Cabin 15 7 Will-o'-the-Wisp, 9 4 41 Won at Last 7 3 192 Zion 7 4 TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 73 At Last 7 1 75 Adrift 5 4 187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 6 3 202 Drunka-d [The] 13 5 185 Drunkari's Warning 6 189 Drunkard's Doom 15 181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- ard's Life 13 183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 104 Lost 6 146 Our Awful Aunt .. 4 53 Out in the Streets -... 6 51 Rescued 5 59 Saved 2 102 Turn of the Tide 7 63 Three Glasses a Day 4 62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 58 Wreck* 9 COMEDIES. 168 A Pleasure Trip 7 136 A Legal Holiday 5 .n Afflicted Family 7 178 Caste 5 199 Home 4 174 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 149 New Years in N. Y 7 37 Not So Bad After All 6 5 237 Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 3 126 Our Daughters 8 6 114 Passions 8 4 219 Rags and Bottles 4 1 221 Solon Shingle 14 87 The Biter Bit 3 2 TRAGEDIES. 16 The Serf 6 3 FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. 129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 132 Actor and Servant 1 1 12 A Capital Match 3 2 166 A Texan Mother-in-Law 4 6 Day Well Spent 7 5 169 A Regular Fix 2 4 SO Alarmingly Suspicious...- 4 3 78 An Awful Criminal .3 3 65 An Unwelcome Return 3 1 31 A Pet of the Public 4 2 21 A Komantic Attachment 3 3 123 A Thrilling Item 3 1 20 A Ticket of Leave .. 3 2 86 Black vs. W T hite 4 175 Betsey Baker 2 2 iter Half 5 2 2 3 4 1 Captain Smith 3 >k Will Win „ 3 225 Cupi.'s Capers 4 49 Der Two Surprises 1 sh THAT AWFUL CARPET-BAG, AN ORIGINAL FARCE, IN THREE SCENES, •BY- Ad H. Gibson. TO WHICH IS ADDED — — A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES— CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. tf Entered according to act of Congress in the year 18S8, ly AMES' PUBLISHING CO. in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. CLYDE, OHIO: 8^0 «£ AMES' PUBLISHING CO. / cA THAT AWFUL CARPET-BAG. h — X— ^ CAST OF CHABACTEBS. Rev. Alexander Kirkwood, A noted preacher from Bissletoion, Mr. Jarvis, Landlord oj Cross Boad's Hotel. Patsy, An Emerald Isle Incorrigible, Mrs. Jarvis, A blustering landlady. Miss Susan Jane Gadiiam, A modest but curious maiden of 89. Mrs. Briggs, A widow. Boarders, {if convenient) Time of Performance— Thirty minu*- Properties. — A large, old-fashioned carpet-hag, large wax doll, linen duster, umbrella and packages; also several articles for last scene. STAGE DIBECTIONS. b., means Right; l., Left; e. h., Right Hand, l. h., Left Hand; c, Centre; s. e ; 2d e.,] Second Entrance; u. e., Upper Entrance; m. d., Middle Door; p., tha Ela.t ; D. r„ Door in Flat; e. c, Right of Centre; l. c, Left of Centre. E. E.C. C. L.C. L. .*»* The reader is supposed to be upon the Stage facing the audieaee. TMP92-009263 That Awful Carpet-bag. SCENE I.— A room in the Cross Roads Hotel. Mrs. Jarvis bustling about the room, setting things to rights very energetically. Mrs. Jarvis. Land sakes ! There's the passenger's hack slopping at the door and this room all upside down, (calls) Patsy! Patsy^ I say! Where can that lazy Irish boy be? (calls) Patsy! Patsy, (outside) Yes, mum! I'll be on hand in a way bit of a jiffy ! Mrs. J. Hurry up, then, you pack of laziness! Enter, Patsy, l , whistling an Irish air, a large looodcn bucket on his arm. Mrs. J. (catching sight of the bucket) What did you bring that bucket in here for '? Patsy. Faix! to bring wather to ixtinguish the conflagration. Mrs. J. The what? Patsy. Bejabers ! ye was makin' sich a hulla-buloo among the furniture I thought the house was on fire an' ye was thryin' to save the place, so I jest brought me bucket along to help yez fight the ilement. Mrs. J. You blundering fellow ! Don't you see that hack at the door? Go, instantly ! Patsy. In the hack, mum? Mrs. J. No, blunder-pate! Go out and assist the passengers with their baggage. Go ! She chases him out with a chair, r. As he dodges her Patsy sets tne bucket down in the doorway, unperceived by Mrs. Jarvis. Mrs. J. Oh, that dreadful Patsy ! He wrecks every particle ot patience I possess, (looking off) Who can that distinguished look- ing gentleman be getting out ? It must be some great person. Only one passenger ! Well, one such guest will reflect more honor upon the Cross K oads Hotel than a dozen shabby, third-rate customers would do. There ! That Patsy did manage to secure the gentle- man's baggage at the eleventh minute. They are coming in. " 4 TEAT AWFUL CABPET-BAG. Enter Rev. Kirkwood, r., falls over bucket. Patsy following with carpet-bag, linen duster and umbrella in his arms falls over him; general business between them on the floor, with umbrella and bucket. Sev. K. Get off my body, fellow ! There, take care now ! You are planting that umbrella right in my ribs ! Oh, this is a wretched- ly uncomfortable position ! Patsy. Bejabers! I'm injoyin' the ixcitement of the ixcursion all right! Jist be aisy a bit now, will yez, an' I'll thry to be afther makin' an attimpt to rise. Bev. K. (squirming) Make haste ! you are crushing the breath out of me. Palsy. Faix, sir! I can't rise at all, at all, wid yez a wigglhr loike that a-nunder me stomach all the toime ! Jist kape aisy till I brace mesilf out o' the ruins, (after several efforts Patsy sitcceeds in getting up) ISTow, sir, I'll help yez to git upon yer pegs agin. Ready ! Gives his hands to Rev. Kirkwood, who is pulled with difficulty to his feet. Enter, Mr. Jarvis, l. Mr. J. Has there been a cyclone? What does this mean? Mrs. J. It means that our guest, this gentleman here, has met with a distressing little adventure, due to the incorrigible stupidity of that blundering Irish servant of ours. Mr. J. I regret, sir. that you have been subjected to any mortifi- cation in the Cross Roads Hotel. I beg you to excuse our servant, and we shall try to make your stay with us so pleasant as to atone tully for the carelessness in your reception. Bev. K. Thank you. sir, but do not cast undue blame upon your servant. I caught 1113- foot in the bail of that bucket — I lost my bal- ance and fell. Patsy. I beg yer parthon, sir, for yer fall. Mr. J. I am glad you treat the affair thus pleasantly, sir, but all the same I regret its having happened, (to Patsy, icho is on his hands and knees on the floor) What are you looking for on the floor there ? Patsy. Faix, Mr. Jarvis, I'm lookin' fur the ould gintleman's lost balance. Mr. J. Leave the room, you Irish rascal. Patsy. All right, sir! (aside) Faix, I guess I'll have to lave the room bekase I can't take it wid me ! (exit, r. Mr. J. Pardon me, sir, but what is your name? Bev. K. I am the Rev. Alexander Kirkwood of Bissletown. Mr. J. (shaking hands) Right welcome you are to the Cross Roads Hotel, sir. It is not often an humble house like ours, in its out-of-the-way situation, has the honor to receive such guests as your reverence. Bev. K. Thank you, sir. It was the very quietness of your hotel that induced me to stop and seek accommodation. Mrs. J. Which we shall be happy to furnish you. Rev. Kirk- wood, I trust you will be kind enough to overlook the lateness of our welcome. I feel as though I could not apologize enough for the unpleasant affair in which you were a victim. It's occurrence so comj^etely upset; my niind that; J knew not apw to act. That awful cappeT-sag. Jiev. K. Don't mind apologizing, madam. It is all over now, and I feel none the worse for it. Be assured I shall not remember it against the Cross Koads Hotel, and shall be able to laugh at it as an awkward misap of mine, a few hours from this. Mr. J. You are most kind, Rev. Kirkwood. Now, sir, I shall be happy to receive and execute any orders from your reverence. Eev. K. If you please then, I should like a private room at once, where I can rest myself before supper. A jolting stage has little re- spect for old bones and I feel considerably shaken up. Mr. J. A private room ? Certainly, sir. Come this way if you please, and I will conduct you to the most comfortable room the Cross Roads Hotel affords. (exit, Mr. Jarvis, l., followed by Rev. Kirkwood Mrs. J. To thick such a thing should happen to the noted Rev. Kirkwood, of all men, and in our house, too ! It is too mortifying for anything. Patsy will be our ruination yet. He is such a care- less, blundering fellow. Enter, Patsy, r. Patsy. If yez plaze, mum, the chickens are picked and drawn an* ready for the pot. Mrs. J. Very well; I'll attend to them myself in a short time. Patsy. All roight, mum, jist use yer own pleasure about it. ( bell rings to the l. Mrs. J. Hark! Isn't that Rev. Kirkwood's bell? (Patsy inclines his head to listen Patsy. It sounds loike his bell, considerin' I never heercl it before. Mrs. J. Yes, it is his bell for none of the boarders are in their rooms. Fly, Patsy, and learn his wants. (Patsy examines first one shoulder, then the other, intently Mrs. J. (impatiently) Well, what in the world are you waiting for? Patsy. Shure, mum, for the wings ! Mrs. J. The ivings? Patsy. Yis, mum, yez told me to fly, an' shure I'm waiting for the wings so I kin oblige ye. (bell rings again Mrs. J. There goes the bell again ! Now, go at once and learn what Rev. Kirkw r ood desires. Patsy. I will, mum; but (feeling of his shoulder) I think they w r as jist a beginnin' to sprout ! Mrs, J. You Hibernian ape! Are you going? Makes a dive at him; Patsy dodges out l. After a second he looks in at the door. Patsy. I trust ye feel none the worse for yer ixertion to lend me the wings, mum ! (disappears Mrs. J. Oh, that boy drives me distracted ! I must go and see that he properly executes the wishes of our famous guest. (exit, l. Enter, r., Miss Susan Jane G-adham and Mrs. Briggs; both have packages. Susan. An' they say that the great Bissletown preacher, Rev* Alexander Kirkwood, is in town an' a stoppin' at the Cioss Roads Hotel. I'd like to see Mrs. Jarvis an' ask her if it's so, G THA T A WF UL GABPET-BA Q> 'Mrs. Briggs. Pshaw! Susan Jane, that Bissletown preacher aim* t a bit better than other folks, an' I don't say so because I'm a Baptist an' he's a Presbyterian, mind ye ; but my cousin's sister-in-law's niece, Melinder Ann Jackson, married a preacher for her second husband an' she hadn't hardly a decent rag toiler back. Xow that's a fact, an' he was a pow'ful mean provider, tew ! Susan, (aside) She jes' says that tew keep me from settin' my cap fur our new preacher, what is a widower with five small chil- dren. She wants him fur her second husband, but if I am thirty- nine, I'm a heap more enticiner than any ole wiclder like Priscillai Briggsis. {aloud) Well, Briggsis, I'd like awful good tew see Kev. Kirkwood, anyway. You know I'm kinder young like an' have never been off traveling an' have never seed any of these celerbrated pussons the papers tell on so much. Jest a peep 'Id satisfy me ! Mrs. Briggs. Sich longin's air sinful, Susan Jane, an' yew a Christian, tew ! But maybe it wouldn't be so bad jest tew peep through the keyhole an' see him, as tew stare square at him. But as yew air so young an' bein's as how I am a widder, I'll tell ye what I'll dew so's tew shield ye sortor from any talk that might be said about yer comin' up here tew see a man, an' a preacher at that! Susan. Dew fix up a plan, Mrs. Briggsis, jest so's I kin catch a peep at the famous divine, an' I'll speak a good word fur yew to our new minister. Mrs. Brings. Thank yew, Susan Jane. I don't keer nothin' fur the minister, but I'm sorter sorry fur the pore chillen an' might be persuaded on their account. But the plan's what yew air anxious tew hear. It's this : — you go straight hum with me an' after dark, bo's nobuddy kin see us, we'll come up here an' peep through the winders at him. Susan. But we don't know what room he occupies ! Mrs. Briggs. Here comes Patsy ! I'll ask him ! Enter, Patsy, l. Mrs. Briggs. How do you do, Patsy ! What is the number of Rev. Kirkwood's room? Patsy. He's a takin' off his boots an' gcttin' ready to take a snooze. ' He's not dressed jist now to see ladies. Mrs Briggs. Yew don't understand me, Patsy. I jest want tew know the number of his room. I don't wish ter call on him. Patsy. All roight, thin ! It's number five, frontin' the flower yard behind the house. -. Mrs Brians Thank yew, Patsy ! (aside to Susan) Jest the room far our purpose, (to Patsy) Now, Patsy, don't tell a soul about our bein' here! . i Patsy All roight, mum, it'll plaze me to kape silence on the mat- ther. (aside) Shure, Katie wud not loike it at all, at all, if she knew I talked to the widder. (he takes up the large carpet-bag which had been left there Susan. Is that carpet-bag Rev. Kirkwood's ? Patsy. Yis, mum, it's the preacher s ! Susan. My! It's full of sumthin! . Mrs. Briggs. Trac's fur the heatherms— but come on, Susan Jane, I must git home ! (exit, B. Susan follows slowly, looking curiously at the carpet-bag held by Patsy. TEAT AWFUL CABPET-BAG. 7 Patsy. Ah! The ould widder and the oulcl maid are always dodgin' fur the prachers ! The riverend sint me to bring his carpet- bag an' other traps, so I'll jist gather thim up. Patsy picks up Rev. Kirkwood' s long-tailed duster, puts it on, opens the umbrella, hangs the carpet-bag over one arm, and then he pom- pously spreads up and down the stage, holding the umbrella dudishly over him. Patsy. Shure ! I am the great Kiverind Alexander Silkirk, on me way to Europe ! He watks very fast and makes the duster spread far out behind him. He looks over his shoulder. He struts about, imitating an affected lady, then breaks into a polka-whirl — beginning slowly and getting faster, until he causes the duster to stand out firmly, going up and down the stage several times, making his exit at last toward l. SCEXE II. — Same as before. Mrs. Jarvis seated by table sewing. Miss Susan Jane Gadham and Mrs. Briggs enter, r., excitedly. Mrs. J. (jumping up, startled) Goodness gracious ! how you two did startle me ! You look as if you had met a ghost. But won't you sit down? Susan, {in a mysterious voice) Ask me not to sit after what my eyes have seen ! Mrs. Briggs. (placing a finger on her lips) Hush! sh-sh! Oh. Mrs. Jarvis, the heap of unheerd of wickedness there be in this world ! Susan. It takes my breath away tew think on it ! Mrs. Briggs. It's anuff tew make a confidm' woman take pizzen ! Mrs. J. In the name of all that is awful, what do you two mean? Mrs. Briggs. An' he seen a respectable lookin' ole gentleman, tew ! Susan. An' he a preacher an' so famous like! Mrs. Briggs. That's what makes it so mighty wickeder! Susan. It does look right smart wosser, him betin' a minister; but, verily, the preachers air vanity, says the good book. Mrs. J. What do you mean? I do declare I begin to believe that you have both gone crazy ! Susan. You won't think so when you know the shockin' truth ! Mrs. Briggs. I'd think not, when her eyes air blasted by a sight at that awful, awful carpet-bag, as our'n has been ! Susan. Oh, the sinful ole reprobate ! (angrily Mrs. Briggs. State's prison will be the end of it, I know. Mrs. J. Who is sinful? Who are you talking about? Susan. Rev. Kirkwood ! Mrs. J. Rev. Kirkwood, our guest? Why, what has he been do- ing that is so horrible ? Mrs. Briggs. (shaking her head) Oh, that awful, awful carpet- bag! Trac's fur the heatherins, indeed ! Oh, the deceit of this world is over-powerin' ! Mrs. J. Don't stand there a living exclamation point, but tell mo what you mean. What has Rev. Kirkwood done? Susan, {wildly) Murder I He has did a shockin' murder I B THAT AWFUL CARPET-BAG. 3Irs. Briggs. Ah ! yew may well roll up yer hands and clasp yer eyes that away ! It does seem hard to believe, but it's true ! it's true ! Mrs. J. Nonsense, Mrs. Briggs, you have let your imagination play havoc with your better sense ! You are so excited you do not know what you are saying. Mrs. JBriygs. I am a leetle unnarved, but I am not mistaken in what I seed, (shaking her head) No, no, no! Susan. No, she's not mistaken, Mi.?. Jarvis, fur I seed it tew, with both of my eyes wide open. Mrs. J. Saw what? Explain at once ! I cannot endure this mys- tery any longer. Mrs. Briggs. Well, listen ! (raising her finger) Susan Jane an' me was a-comin' in the back way tew have a leetle chat with yew this evenin'. We was admirin' your posies near the Rev. Kirk- wood's winder, an' jest happened tew look in. His light was a- burnin' an' we see him take up that awful carpet-bag o' his'n, an' jest as cool as if he had all the grace o' heaven, an' nobuddy else had a speck, he unlocked it an' took out Susan. The body of a dead child! Mrs. J. Oh, heavens ! Me. Jarvis bursting in l. } followed by Patsy. Mr. J. What's that? A dead child? Where? Mrs. Briggs. In Eev. Kirkwood's carpet-bag, in this hotel! Susan Jane an' me seed it plain — a poor, limp dead baby with long yaller hair. Oh, the ole murderer ! Mr. J. It seems too horrible to realize ! Susan. It does, indeed; but it's all a fact! I kin see now why he— sech a great pusson— stopped at this leetle town— at a small hotel like the Cross Roads ; he wanted tew git shet of the corpse ! Patsy. Be jabers ! He'll git shut of himsilf if that's his game, the ould canny-bull ! Mr. J. What are we to do? I am entirely confounded by what I have heard. Mrs. J. (excitedly) Do? There is but one thing for us to do, Mr. Jarvis : that is to confront the ecclesiastical villain in his room with the proofs of his diabolical crime and have him lodged in the county jail. We must go at once, before he has time to hide the dead body. We must preserve the reputation of the Cross Roads Hotel at all hazards ! Patsy, (imitates Susan, who is excitedly wringing her hands) Faix, that is so! If we don't make haste, he'll rip open the feather bed an' sew it up there, or throw it down the cistern, or put it in the pickle barrel down cellar. Ghost of Pat Murphy ! There's no tell- in' what he won't do with the corpse if we don't hurry our shtumps ! Susan. Oh, the villainy of them that set in the high places of the land t (w ringing her hands Patsy. Oh, the disappintment of them that always set a snare for the prachers ! (imitates Mr. J. Come, it won't do to tarry here if we are to beard the wolf in his den ! Let us retire at once to the kitchen and arm our- selves with brooms shovels, etc., to defend ourselves should he refuse to surrender THAT AWFUL CARPET-SAG. * Etiit, l., followed by Mrs. Jarvis, Mrs. Briggs and Susan, all ex- cited. Patsy. By the howly powerths ! He'll be afther thinkin' he's struck 'an earthquake this toime ! (aw* L « SCENE III. — Rev. Kirkwood's private room in the Cross Boads Hotel. Rev. Kirkwood, in dressing gown and slippers, is seated by a table, on which a lamp is burning, reading a paper, his feet on a foot-stool. Bev. K. Ah ! This is comfortable, indeed ! Had Istopped in the citv instead ot coming on to this quiet little place, I might have re- mained forever in total ignorance of the excellent hospitality ot the intelligent landlord and landlady of the Cross Roads Hotel, {takes up carpet-bag by his side and places it gently on a chair near by) I am glad it carried all right ! I was afraid it might be badly damaged after my long journey, (noise of many feet outside) What is the meaning of the commotion I hear? I hope they have not, in their wrath, assassinated that poor Irish lad and are now holding a wake over his body. Hark ! The feet move this way ! Excited voices outside; cries of "Look through the keyhole!" "Do you see him!" "Has he escaped?' 7 "Let me at the ould spalpanel Bev. K. The Irishman's voice ! He still lives then. I declare, the hubbub is at my door ! What can it mean ? Enter, r., Mr. Jarvis with old rusty gun; Mrs. Jarvis with broom; Mrs. Briggs with fire-shovel; Susan with chum-dasher and poker, while Patsy brings up the rear with a bootjack. They are all excited and brandish the miscellaneous weapons conspicuously. Boarders if convenient. Mr. J. You— yon scoundrel ! Mrs* J. How dare you show yourself in a respectable house? Mrs. Briggs. Ain't you ashamed of yourself, at your time of life, a brin°'hi' approach upon the church? Susan. Oh! you wolf in a lamb's wool, that tramples upon the flowers of a young girl's faith in preachers ! I could nearly come a- strikin' ye, I am that upsot at your transgressing. Patsy. Faix, sir, now ye ought to be ashamed of yersilf, so ye had to tramp down the young lady's flowers, though I never saw ye do the dadc ! I'll list take holt of yez while the others do the spakin'. (Patsy holds the Rev. Kirkwood in his chair with hands oil Ms shoulders) Now, ladies, say what yez plaze. I've got the CU Susan. Oh, the deceivin' critter! Oh! there's that awful carpet- bag! Let me git it! Snatches the carpet-bag from the chair near Rev. Kirkwood, and carries it down c. Mrs. Briggs. You horrid man, to sit there so unmoved-like when ver awful crime is diskivered ! J Mr T Ye* Rev. Kirkwood, you might as well surrender your- self to justice at once, for your dreadful crime is known to all present 10 TEA T A WF UL CA BFE T-BA #. Patsy. Yis, sir! I'd advise ycr riverince to give up, fur ye see we are all armed and ready fur the fray an' ye'll git no quarthers from any of us. Mrs. J. Come, sir, surrender and cause no difficulties! Bev. K. Ladies and gentlemen, will you be kind enough to tell me what all this means? Susan, (bending over the carpet-bag in c. of stage and trying to un- fasten it) It means that you are a murderer of the deepest dye, an' the innocent murdered lies coffined in this carpet-bag. (she jerks the carpet-bag open; outfalls a large wax doll, life size) Behold! the wretched victim of a once great preacher ! (discovers it to be a doll) Oh! What is this? All crowd around the carpet-bag and stare incredulously at the doll. Patsy releases Rev. Kirkwood and stares open-mouthed at it. *r 1?e ?' •£ A -, foirfchda y present for my little granddaughter at Mapleville. My friends, have you any criticisms to offer on it— as a doll? Mrs. Briggs. I— I thought sure it was a dead baby ! Susan. So did I ! J Patsy, (aside) The ould maid and ould widdy has made a shwate muss of it this toime ! Mrs. J. Susan Jane Gadham and Priscilla Briggs, you ouo-ht to be turned out of the church for making all this hubbub over a doll ! Oh, Rev. Kirkwood, what will you think of us? _ _. (covers her face with her hands m Patsy. Farx, mum, if he's the good christian mon I've heercl he is, he 11 jist think it's a wild frake of the imagination an' not kape it agin ye. . _ * Bev. K. (smiling) A sort of private rehearsal in which a lesson has been taught, Patsy. Patsy ^ Yis, sir! an' it's my opinion some of us had betther be put back m our a-b-c's. (looking at Mrs. Briggs and Susan Mr. J. (to Rev. Kirkwood) Sir, I am too wretched to attempt any apologies for all this disturbance and for the suspicions we had against you. Had it not been for the curiosity of our neighbors who saw you through the window, remove the doll from the carpet- bag and mistook it for a dead baby, all this unpleasantness inMit have been prevented. Bev. K. My friend, spare yourself all this humiliation. I am too wise to allow myself to be offended because others will make fools of themselves. Only accept this little advice from me (to audience) and all present under the hearing of my voice, also :— Never iudo-e by appearances hastily, and never decide on the unsupported testi- mony of others. Arrangement op Characters. Mr. & Mrs. Jarvis, l. Mrs. Briggs & Susan, r. Paxsy, near d. l. Boarders, (if present, in the background. ) CURTAIK. JUST OUT—A Hew Tem perance Play! Dot; the IXaiiier's Daughter, One Glass nf WinE. IN FOUR ACTS. DBA MAT IS PERSONS. David Mason A farmer. Herbert Mason David's son — just from college. Royal Meadows Foster-son of Mrs. Clifton. Arthur Floyd A villain. George Clifton A returned Calif omian. Parson Swift An astonished clergyman. Bill Torry A boatman — Floyd's confederate. Brewster Police officer. Ebony A colored individual. Mrs. Mason David's wife — a good adviser. Dolores ? The miner's daughter. Mrs. Clifton George Clifton's deserted wife. Winnifred Clifton Mrs. Clifton's daughter. Hapzibah A lady of color. — mmi i n i iii.iii ii— m i li it— nm— tin ■ iim mil !■» ■ i« r !■ ■ ■l i mn iiiimhi ii ■ Festival of Hays. A NEW AND OBI GIN AL SERIES OF TABLEAUX. ft is especially designed for Amateur Companies, as it re- quires only a platform, no scenery being necessary for its production. Mirth and Sadness are well combined. Costumes Modern. Time one hour. The following arc the days represented. Price 15 Cents— Order a Copy. characters. Header. New Year Chorus of girls in white. Washington's Birthday George Washington. Valentine's Day Maiden and lover. St. Patrick's Day Chorus of boys. Washing Day Girls at tubs. House-Cleaning Day Man and woman. April Fool's Day Old maid, and little boy. Ash Wednesday Monk. Good Friday Women at cross. Easter Chorus of girls in white. May Day May queen, chorus of children. Memorial Day Two soldiers. July Fourth Uncle Sam., boys. Emancipation Day Darkey. Hallowe'en Group of girls. Thanksgiving Day Man, little girl. Chbistmas * Group of children. New Temperance Cantata for the Little Ones! TO VICTORY, -BY- IDA M. BUXTO^T. This Cantata supplies a want long felt, Nearly all published are either too long, »r from the difficult music, or complex stage business quite beyond the reach of the general juvenile companies. This one was written especially to obviate all these difficulties, and at once give to those desiring, a taking and effective piece. It is designed for Juvenile Temples, Sabbath Schools, etc., and requires only a platform, no scenery being necessary for its production. The words are all set to old airs, familiar to every one. The stage directions are plainly given, and no diflculty will be experienced in preparing it for public presen- tation. The following are the characters represented. UNCLE SAIL — Dressed in a suit of Bed, White and Blue. DRUNKARD'S DAUGHTER.— -In ragged clothes. DEBORAH.— Who leads the chorus of girls. OAPT. PROHLBLTLON.—Wh.olea.dsthe chorus of boys BROTHER. SLSTER. FOUR GLRLS } dressed in white, representing Maine, Kansas, Iowa and Bhode Island — the latter being a small girl. Each one carries a shield with the name of her state. CHORUS OF BOYS. VHORUS OF GLRLS. The Choruses may consist of anv number convenient. Please order a sample copy, look it over carefully and see it does not please yea PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. PUBLISHED FROM THE AUTHOR'S ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT. An entirely original Allegorical Drama of the civil war in the United States, entitled, THE DUTCH RECRUIT; OK, THE BLUE AND GREY. BY J. T. VIEGABD. All rights to this popular drama have been purchased of its author, and it is now published in book form complete for the first time. It was produced season after season by the original proprietor with unbounded success, and was the means of re- plenishing many G. A. R. trea£uries, which were running low. The following are the characters represented: Deitrich Vonderspeck The Dutch Recruit Col. St. Leon a loyal Southerner Harry Pearson a Union Spy Frank Duncan The Guerrilla Chieftain John Marker St. Leon's Overseer, aftencards a Guerrilla Charles White Harry's friend, a Union Spy Teddy O'Connor a son of the OldSod General „ Commanding U.S. Forces Col. Franklin of the U. S. Army Uncle .Ned on Octogenarian General Commanding G. S. Forces Sam.... one of the Bones of Contention Alex Burt A Lieutenant of Guerrillas Prisoner.. a t Belle Isle Maude St. Leon a loyal lady, daughter of St. Leon Mrs. St. Leon wife of the Colonel Goddess of Liberty, Officers U. S. A. Officers C. S. A. Citizens, Soldiers, Bush" whackers, Prisoners, etc., etc. It will be found easy to put upon the stage, full of thrilling and startling situa- tions, hairbreadth escapes, military movements, prison scenes, scenes full of pathoa and tears, others in which the Dutchman and Irishman will convulse the listeners with laughter. Every character is good, being strongly dra^rn, and worthy the talent of the best actors. J8® 5 - The publisher has purchased all rights in this grand Military Play and al- though at a high price, has determined to place it at the disposal of every G. A. R. Post, S. of V. Camp, and in fact any organization who may wish to produce it. Therefore, bear in mind, there is no royalty on it— all can produce it who may wish to do so free of charge. tig* It is printed from new type on good paper— substantially bound in rarer binding. PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. ADDRESS, A, D. AMES^Publisher, Lock Box 102. CLYDE, 0. ~« aa* THEATRICAL &&>- AND FANCY^ COSTUME WIGS. Attention is called to this list of WIGS, BEARDS, MUS- TACHES, WHISKERS, &c. We employ a wig-maker especially to manufacture goods for our trade, and can guarantee satisfaction. All goods made under our personal supervision. . In ordering be careful to state every particular, i. e. size, color, etc. Any wig foj special character or occasion can be made to order. White Old Man $4.50 Iron Gray 4.50 Yankee 4.50 Irish 4.50 Crop [all colors] 4.50 Fright 5.00 Negro 90 [white old man] 1.50 " 'grey " J 1.50 with top knot] 1.50 " [wench] 5.00 Sir Peter Teazle 5.00 Shylock 4.50 Court Wig with Bag 4.50 Tio 4.50 Paul Pry 4.50 Dundreary 5.50 Light Dress Wig, with parting 5.50 Rough Irishman 4.00 Flaxen Country Boy 3.50 Physician or Lawyer [white] 5.00 Dress Wig with Eycbr'ws & Whisk'rs 5.50 Dress, without parting 4.00 Duplex; can be worn either as a male or female Wig; very convenient; in reality 2 Wigs inl 6.00 Flow Wigs, Long Hair, suitable for most Shakesperian characters, Fairy Plays, &c 5.50 Dress Scalp, with parting $5.00 Scalp3 2.75 Gentlemanly Irish, with parting 5.00 Bald Wigs, Grey or White 4.50 Rip Van Winkle 4.50 Grey Dress Wig, with parting 4.50 White " " " 4.50 Clowns, in colors 4.50 Pantaloon, Wig and Beard 5.00 Robinson Crusoe 4.50 Monk 4.00 Box and Cox, 2 Wigs, each Wig 3.50 Chinaman, with Pigtail 5.00 Dress Wig, superior 5.00 Red and Brown Bald Wigs 4.50 LADIES. Court Wig 6.50 Grand Duchess 6.50 Lady Teazle 7.00 Marie Antoinette 7.50 Mother-in-Law 5.50 Female, plain, Long Hair, so that lady can do up as she wishes, a really fine Wig 10.00 Nigger Crape Masks, a substitute for blacking the face 2.00 Ladies' Wigs, Blonde, Light and Dark Brown and Black, made up in pres- ent fashion 6.00 Comic Old Woman's Front Piece $2.50. BEARDS, WHISKERS, MUSTACHES, &c. Fide Whiskr's & M'stache on wire $1.25 Side Whiskers and Mustache, on wire, superior 1.50 Side Whiskers, no Mustache, wire 1.00 Side Whiskers <& Mustache, Gauze 2.00 Side Whiskers and Mustache, on gauze, superior 2.25 Side Whiskers, without Mustache, on gause 1.50 Side Whiskers, without Mustache, on gauze, superior 1.75 Full Beard 1.75 " " superior 2.00 Full Beard without Mustache 1.50 Full Baard, no Mustache, superior 1.75 Mustache and Chin Beard, combined.. 2.00 Imperials 30 Full Chin Beard 1.25 Mustaches on wire 35 " gause 40 CRAPE HAIR— For making False Whiskers, Mustaches, «4 OR, -£=-.<>.►— OUT OF BONDACE. <^6 >*^^*> ^j> A BE AHA IN FIVE ACTS, BY LIZZIE MAY ELWYN, AUTHOR OF BOT; THE MINER'S LAUGHTER. ORDER A COPY-ONLY 15 CENTS. ACT I— Scene 1st.— Home of Fred G rover— Priscilla, Fred's old maid sister — Fred's return from the South — His present to Pris- cilla, of Gyp, a "little nigger" — Gyp dances — Millie's horror of slavery— Gyp's happiness — Song and dance. ACT II. — Scene 1st. — News of cousin Charlie, an old lover of Millie's — Gyp and Siah's soda water, an amusing scene — Priscilla, her horror of being kissed by "a man" — Millie vindicates herself by revealing the secret of her life to Charlie, which is heard by Daville — Gyp — Meeting of Millie and Daville — Daville reveals Millie's se- cret* to Isadore, his betrothed — Comic scene between Gyp and Siah. ACT III. — Scene 1st. — Evil designs of Daville and Isadore — Millie, the child of old Harriet, the slave — Meeting of Isadore and Harriet, her threat, "You are my child" — Isadore attempts her mur- der by pushing her over the cliff; she is rescued by Daville — Isadore reveals her love for Fred, which Millie and Charlie overhear — Millie's anguish and final blow — "IS T o wife, aslave !" — Quarrel of Daville and Charlie— Isadore's search for the body of old Harriet. Scene 2d. — Escape of Charlie — A piece of Priscilla's mind — Her promise to Millie — Oath of Isadore — Millie's flight. Scene 3d. — Daville gives an account of the shooting and supposed flight of Millie with Charlie — Priscilla on her mettle — Supposed suicide of Milllie — A LAPSE OF SEVEN YEARS. ACT IV. — Scene 1st. — Daville accuses Isadore, now Mrs. Grover, of Harriet's murder— Millie, as Sister Agnes, the French governess — Return of Charlie — Fred's anger and Priscilla's interference. Scene 2d. — Charlie disguised as old Nathan — Millie's letter found which explains her flight — Fred's remorse — Daville and Isadore recognize Millie — Their plot against her discovered by old ^Nathan. ACT V.— Scene 1st.— Southern Plantation — Priscilla discovers Sister Agnes, as Millie — Her anger at being kissed by a nigger — Daville threatens Isadore with slavery — Attempted murder of Pris- cilla — Scene between Gyp and Siah. Scene 2d. — Millie a slave — Daville offers her marriage — Millie tied to the whipping post — Her rescue by Gyp. Scene 3d. — Millie and Gyp in the swamp— At- tempted capture— Rescued by Charlie— Old Harriet clears the mys- tery of Millie and Isadore's birth — "There is but one way left, death" — Arrest of Daville— Death of Charlie-«-ReconQUiation of Fred and M,UHe t w&o |s {reed from bondage, y— 7 ^ _JLniES> Plays — CantinuBd. 72 19 42 188 220 148 218 224 233 154 184 209 13 66 116 120 103 50 140 74 35 47 95 11 99 82 182 127 228 106 139 231 235 69 1 158 23 208 212 32 186 44 33 57 217 165 195 159 171 180 48 138 115 55 232 137 40 38 131 101 167 68 rli FARCES CONTINUED. Deuce is in Him 6 Did 1 Dream it 4 Domestic Felicity 1 Dutch Prize Fighter 3 Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 Eh? What Did You Say 3 Everybody Astonished 4 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 Freezing a Mothw-in-Law... 2 Fun in a Post Office : 4 Family Discipline Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 Give Me Mv Wife 3 Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 Hash 4 II. M.S. Plum 1 How Hister Paxey got her Child Baptized 2 How bhe has Own Way 1 How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 How to Tame AI-in-Law 4 How Stout Your Getting 5 In the Wrong Box 3 In the Wrong Clothes 5 John Smith 5 Jumbo Jum ~ 4 Killing Time 1 Kitties Wedding Cake 1 Lick Skillet Wedding 2 L mderbach's Little Surprise 3 Lodgings for Two 3 Matrimonial Bliss 1 Match for a Mother-in-Law.. 2 More Blunders than one 4 Mother's Fool 6 Mr. and Mrs. Pringle 7 Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 My Heart's in Highlands 4 .My Precious Betsey 4 My Turn Next 4 M> Wife's Relations 4 My Day and Now-a-Days Obedience 1 On the Sly 3 Paddy Miles' Boy 5 Patent Washing Machine 4 Persecuted Dutchman 6 Poor Pilicody 2 Quiet Family 4 Rough Diamond 4 Ripp'es *. 2 Schnaps 1 Sewing Circle of Period S. II. A. M. Pinafore 3 Somebody's Nobody 3 Stage Struck Yankee 4 Taking the Census 1 That Mysterious B'dle 2 Tue bewitched Closet 5 The Cigarette 4 The Coming Man 3 Turn Him Out 3 The Sham Professor 4 The Two T. J's 4 28 Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 142 Tit for Tat 2 213 Vermont Wool Dealer _. 5 151 Wanted a Husband „. 2 5 When Women Weep 3 56 Wooing Under Difficulties^. 5 70 Which will lie Marry 2 135 Widower's Trials 4 147 Waking Him Up 1 155 Why they Joined the Re- beccas _ 111 Yankee Duelist 3 157 Yankee Peddler 7 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 204 Academy of Stars 6 15 An Unhappy Pair 1 172 Black Shoemaker .. 4 98 Black Statue _... 4 222 Colored Senators 3 214 Chops 3 145 Cuff's Luck 2 190 Crimps Trip 5 *27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 230 Hamlet the Dainty 6 153 Haunted House 2 24 Handy Andy 2 236 Hypochondriac The 2 77 Joe's Vis t 2 88 Mischievous Nigger .. 4 128 .Musical Darkey 2 90 No Cure No Pay 3 61 Not as Deaf as He Seems 3 234 Old Dad's Cabin 2 150 OldPompey 1 109 Other People's Children 3 134 Pomp's Pranks 2 177 Quarrelsome Servants 3 96 Rooms to Let 2 107 School 5 133 Seeing Bosting 3 179 Sham Doctor 3 1)4 li),UUU Years Ago 3 25 Sport with a Sportsman 2 92 Stage Struck Darkey ... 2 10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 64 That Boy Sam 3 122 The Select School „ 5 118 The Popcorn Man _... 3 6 The Studio «. 3 108 Those Awful Boys .. 5 4 Twain's Dodging 3 197 Tricks 5 198 Uncle Jeff 5 170 U. S. Mail 2 216 Vice Versa 3 200 Villkens and Dinah « 4 '210 Virginia Mini my 6 203 Who Stole tin Chickens 1 205 William Tell 4 150 Wig-Maker and Iha Servant* 3 GUIDE BOOKS. 17 Hints on Klocuti >n 130 H.uts to Amateurs ~~ CANTATA. 215 On to Victory (with eh< '« 4 6 jfi NEW FKE Recently 1 ^ ™A«l^ 250. Festival of Days. A series of Tableaux, by Ida M. Buxton, repre- senting the memorial days of the year. Just the thing for an evening's entertain- ment, as it is easily produced, requiring no scenery. Time of performance, onehonr. 251. Millie, the Quadroon; or, Out of Bondage. A drama in 5 acts, by Lizzie M, El wyn. 6 mates, 5 females; the greatest success of the scson. This drama is replete with fine situations and unlooked for developements. Mirth and sadness are well combined— something after the style of abin," representing scenes in the South before slavery was abolished, Co-fumes modern. Time of production, 2 hours. 252. That Awful Carpet-Bag. An original farce, in 3 scenes, by Ad H.Gibson. 3 males, 3 females. Scene in a hotel: a widow and old maid, whose curiosity gets them into embaressiug situations. Irish character immense. Time 30 minutes. 253. The Best Cure. An ethiopian farce in 1 act, by C. F. Ingraham. 4 male, 1 female— exceedingly funny farce. A darkey who was cured of imaginary ill- ness—the "cure" will be appreciated by all lovers of fun. Time, 30 minu 254. Dot, the Miner's Daughter; or, One Glass of Wine. A temperance drama, in 3 acts, by Lizzie M. Elwyn, author of •"Millie, the CJaadi 9 males, 5 females. This is the most ponular temperance play written since "Turn of the Tide" was published. Characters all equally good; two negro characters. Ebony and Hapzibah, which are immense, and keeps an audience in a continuous up- roar. Costumes, modern. Time, 2 hours. 255. Gertie's Vindication. A domestic drama, in 2 acts, by <; 11. Pierce. 3 males, 3 females. A thoroughly good moral play, show ing the truth of the old say- ing, "Honesty is the best poliev." Jack, the negro, and Katy, the Irish girl, are both exceedingly, good and will keep an audience convulsed with lau tumes, modern. Time, one and one-half hours. 256. Midnight Colic. A sketch in one scene, by 1). E. Allyn. 2 males, 1 female. A most laughable sketch that will please every one. Time of production, thirty minutes. 257. Caught in the Act. Comedy in 3 acts, by Newton Chisriell. 7 males, 3 females. This comedy is a favorite in the profession, and will take well withamatuers— is full of fun, dialogue is sparkling— not a dull speech from begin- ning to end. Time of production is about 2 hours. -$ c .~* 7 i(~}z7~ ~, — DO* MILLIE; THE QUADROON, a . new Drama, just published from the author's original manuscript, it is immense, and will give the best of satisfaction to an audience. The scene is laid in the south before slavery was abolished. The play is very much after the style of Uncle Tom's Cabin. Send for a copy. Only 15 cents. MIDNIGHT COLIC. A Laughable Sketch in one scene. This Sketch with Millie; the Quadroon, will make an evening's enter- tainment that will please anyaudience, 1 5c.