French's International Copyrighted (in England, her Col- 
 onies, and the United States) Edition of the 
 Works of the Best Authors 
 
 i 
 
 No. 408 
 
 The 
 
 BROWN MOUSE 
 
 A ilIRAL PLAY IN FOUR ACTS 
 
 By 
 MABEL B. STEVENSON 
 
 Based on the Novel of the same name by 
 HERBERT QUICK 
 
 Copyright, 1921, by Samuel French 
 
 ^ 
 
 PRICE, 30 CENTS 
 
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 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 1 
 
 NEW YORK LONDON ;>i 
 
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 Publisher 26 Southampton Street 1% 
 
 28-30 West 3""8th Street i Strand i 
 
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BILLETED. 
 
 A comedy in 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 m? 
 5 females. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, constru' 
 with uncommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. Margaret Ang 
 big success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy to produce and pop 
 with all audiences. Price, 60 Ce 
 
 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 
 
 A comedy in 3-acts. By James Montgomer3\ 5 males, 6 females. ( 
 tumes; modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2>< hours. 
 
 Is it possible to tell the absolute truth— even I'or twenty -four hours? It 
 at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," accomplished 
 feat. The bet he made with his business partners, and the trouble he got in; 
 with his partners, his friends, and his fiancee— this is the subject of Willj 
 rdlier's tremendous comedy hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can "be whole-hearti] 
 recommended as one of ±he most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies 
 this country can boast. Price, 60 Ce 
 
 IN WALKED JIMMY. 
 
 A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jafta. 10 males. 2 females (althoi 
 any number of males and females may be used as clerks, etc.) 1 
 interior scenes. Costumes, m!odern. Plays 2^ hours. The thing i 
 which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, when the cle 
 had all been fired, and when the proprietor was in serious contemplat 
 of suicide. 
 
 Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would have been a mysterious fi^ 
 had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and his everlasi 
 Innnanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won the heart of the 
 clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped that place as a perman 
 boarding house himself, and foiled the villain. 
 
 Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature, just a dasli 
 excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy make "In Walked Jimr 
 one of the most delightful of plays. Jimmy is full of the religion of life, | 
 religion of happiness and the religion of helpfulness, and he so perm.eates | 
 atmosphere with his "religion'* that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimij 
 good cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull morr 
 in any of tlie four acts. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Ce 
 
 MARTHA BY-THE:DAY. 
 
 An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author 
 the "Martha" stories. 5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes, 
 tumes modern. Plays 2J/< hours. 
 
 It is altogether a gentle thing, thir> play. It is full of quaint hunior, 
 fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see the play will d 
 and chuckle over tomorrow and the next day. j 
 
 Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for stage serj 
 and in doing this has selected from her novel the most telling incidents, infect) 
 comedy and homely sentiment for the play, and the result is thoroughly deligh 
 
 Price, 60 C^ 
 
 (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
 
 / 
 
THE BROWiN MOUSE 
 
 A RURAL PLAY IN 
 FOUR ACTS 
 
 By 
 MABEL B. STEVENSON 
 
 BASED ON THE NOVEL OF THE SAME NAME BY 
 
 HERBERT QUICK 
 
 Copyright, 1921, by Samuel French 
 All Rights Reserved 
 
 New York 
 SAMUEL FRENCH 
 
 Publisher 
 28-30 West 38th Street 
 
 London 
 
 Samuel French, Ltd. 
 
 Publisher 
 
 26 Southampton St., Strand 
 
"5 
 
 ■7? 
 
 «<g4'' 
 
 "THE B'ROWN MOUSE" is fully protected 
 by copyright, and all rights are reserved. 
 
 Permission to act, read publicly, or to make 
 any use of it must be obtained from Samuel 
 French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. 
 
 It may be presented by amateurs upon pay- 
 ment of royalty of ten dollars each perfor- 
 mance, payable to Samuel French one week 
 before the date when the play is given. 
 
 Professional rights quoted on application. 
 
 Whenever this play is produced the following 
 notice must appear on all programs, print- 
 ing and advertising for the play: Produced 
 by special arrangement with Samuel French 
 of New York. 
 
 TMP96-00T164 
 ©C1.D S^7a70 
 
SUGGESTIONS FOR CANADIAN PRODUCTION 
 
 According to Herbert Quick's novel, "The Brown Mouse," 
 on which the play is based. Colonel Woodruff's daughter 
 Jennie has been elected County Superintendent of Schools, 
 and in her official capacity has to consider the complaints of 
 the trustees regarding the way in which Jim Irwin is con- 
 ducting his school. In Canada, however, the County Super- 
 intendent is known as an "Inspector." Inspectors in Canada^ 
 are not elected, and as a usual thing the office is not held by a 
 woman. In order to adapt the play for use in Canada, there- 
 fore, the following changes should be made in the text: 
 
 Substitute the word "section" for "district" throughout the 
 play. 
 
 Substitute the word "inspector" for "superintendent" 
 throughout the play. 
 
 Substitute the name of any well-known agricultural college 
 in Canada for "Ames." 
 
 Page 9. Omit Jim's speech beginning "I came in just 
 now ," and Jennie's speech down to "winning promotion." 
 
 Page 19. Omit last sentence of Colonel W.'s speech, "They 
 will probably ask you as Superintendent . . . action." 
 
 Page 20. Omit last part of Jennie's speech "not in my 
 official capacity, but as an old friend." 
 
 Page 32. Change Jennie's speech, "They are going to pe- 
 tition me as Superintendent" to "They are going to petition the 
 Inspector"; and "my decision" to "the Inspector's decision." 
 
 Page 34. Change Colonel W.'s speech, "ask Jennie, as super- 
 intendent, to come" to "ask the Inspector to come." 
 
 Page 36. In this scene have the Inspector take Jennie's 
 part — and have Jennie as a spectator. 
 
 Page 41. Change Jennie's speech, "Proceedings before me." 
 to "Proceedings before the Inspector"; and her speech, "I 
 found," etc., to "The Inspector found." 
 
 Page 43. In Bonner's speech change "Republican" and 
 "Democrat" to "Grit" and "Tory." 
 
CHARACTERS 
 
 In the order of their appearance. 
 
 Jennie Woodruff, Colonel Woodruff's daughter. 
 Jim Irwin, the Brozvn Mouse. 
 Colonel Woodruff, a prosperous farmer. 
 Ezra Bronson ) t- . x ^i riz j jx 
 
 Cornelius Bonner I ^"'^'^^^ ."f ft ^."^''"9 
 Haakon Peterson J school dtstnct. 
 
 Raymond Simms ) ^ i u 
 
 Newt. Bronson \ ^«"' -schoolboys. 
 Mrs. Ezra Bronson. 
 Mrs. Cornelius Bonner. 
 Mrs. Haakon Peterson. 
 Professor Withers. 
 Fanny Bronson. 
 The Doctor. 
 Mr. Simms. 
 
GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR 
 PERFORMERS 
 
 Jim Irwin: Shoidd he dressed in rough, plain 
 clothes during the first part of the play and 
 should move with some awkzvardness. As the 
 play progresses he should show a gain in ease 
 of manner and in self-confidence, and on his 
 return from Ames should show a quiet sense of 
 having made good. In Acts III and IV his 
 dress may show signs of improvement, such, 
 for instance, as in zvearing a more up-to-date 
 collar and tie; hut he should not, at any time, 
 appear as a dude. In his speech at the school 
 meeting in Act I, and in his final speech at the 
 school meeting in Act IV, he must speak zvith 
 all the enthusiasm and force of an eager ideal- 
 ist zvho is pleading for hetter things. 
 
 Colonel Woodruff : A prosperous farmer, who in 
 early life had served in the army. He is influ- 
 ential in the community hy reason of his force 
 of character. He is, in his own mind, conser- 
 vative hy nature, hut in reality he is progressive 
 and is one of the first to support the new idea 
 of hetter rural schools. Dressed as a well-to-do 
 farmer. 
 
 Jennie Woodruff : Any suitable costume for wear 
 in her home, with something different for wear 
 at the school meeting, and a street suit for her 
 appearance on her return from Ames. 
 3 
 
4 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Ezra Bronson : A middle-aged man. His costume 
 should be that of a partly dressed-up farmer; 
 i.e., he may zvear a tweed or a serge suit, hut 
 should not he in white linen collars or cuffs 
 such as Col. Woodruff might wear. In Act I, 
 Scene III, he should shozv a fairly good-hu- 
 mored toleration of Jim's speech, hut should 
 show no real interest in it. In Act II, Scene 
 II, he need not show the vehemence of Bonner, 
 but rather a milder manner of protest. His 
 son has been kept at school by Jim's methods, 
 and Mr. Bronson shoidd not shozv his oppo- 
 sition as strongly as Bonner. 
 
 Cornelius Bonner: Should talk zmth Irish accent 
 and he a more fiery type of man than Bronson. 
 Should shozv persistent opposition to Jim Irwin 
 throughout the play until the last Act, zvhen his 
 speech should shozv that he is as enthusiastic 
 for Jim as he zvas against him previously. He 
 has then made up his mind to make Jim's pop- 
 ularity a political asset for himself in county 
 politics. 
 
 Haakon Peterson : A mild-spoken, soft-voiced 
 Scandinavian zvho has learned English, but zvho 
 still pronounces his initial "j" as if it zvere ''y!' 
 He at no time expresses his opposition to Jim 
 Irwin zvith any vehemence. He opposes him 
 out of a sense of loyalty to the school hoard. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson : A good motherly zvoman, noted for 
 her housekeeping. As the flay progresses, site 
 shozvs that she is pleased thai her boy has be- 
 come a better boy under Jim's teaching and that 
 she would like to come out as one of Jim's 
 supporters hut for her previous attitude of 
 criticism. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner : The most voluble of the three wo- 
 men. Shozvs censorious spirit. Acts as real 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 5 
 
 commander of the fault-finding visit to the 
 school. 
 
 Mrs. Peterson : Slow-spoken and dignified. A 
 farm woman who prizes refinement, hut zvho 
 thinks that the finer things of life can be found 
 only in tozvn. Her gentle hut firm character is 
 a strong contrast to Mrs. Bonner^s spiteful- 
 ness. Accent like her husband's. 
 
 Newt. Bronson and Raymond Simms: Where 
 they appear together in the play the schoolboys 
 should furnish amusement, hut they must he 
 careful not to allozu their performance to di- 
 vert the attention of the audience from the 
 more serious action. 
 
 Prof. Withers and The Doctor: // there is dif- 
 ficulty in securing performers for all the parts, 
 these two characters may be played by the same 
 person by using different make-up. 
 
 Fanny Bronson : This part should be played by a 
 little girl zvho zvill look smaller and younger 
 than Newt. Bronson. 
 
 STAGE-SETTING 
 
 Act I. Scene I 
 
 Sitting room in Colonel Woodruff's house. 
 Use chairs, table, and such fittings as zvill give 
 the effect of a comfortable but not elaborate 
 sitting-room, such as might be found in any 
 prosperous farm home. Use articles of furni- 
 ture such as can be easily removed, in order to 
 change to the follozving scene. 
 
 Scene II 
 
 A Bare Room. 
 
 If this can, conveniently, be made to give the 
 effect of a bare schoolroom, so much the better. 
 A map may be hung on the wall, a teacher's 
 
6 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 desk and tivo or three school desks, arranged 
 to give the schoolroom effect. But these are 
 not necessary. A table without a cloth and a 
 feiv chairs zvould suffice. If schoolroom effect 
 is produced, use an empty chalk box for the 
 ballots; otherzvise, a hat. 
 
 Scene III 
 
 Same as Scene I 
 
 Act II. Scenes I, II and III 
 The Schoolroom. 
 
 Blackboard with following problem in Arith- 
 metic and folloiving spelling list: 
 "If in each 250 grains of wheat in Mr. Bron- 
 son's bins, jo are cracked, dead, or otherwise 
 not capable of sprouting, what per cent, of the 
 seed sozvn zvill grozv?" 
 
 ''Fertiliser, Potash^ Nitrogen, Kernel, Loam, 
 Moisture." 
 
 Market reports pinned to the zvall. A rack of 
 agricultural bttllefins. Farm papers piled about. 
 Have copies of zvhatever farm papers are best 
 knozvn in your locality. If possible, have a 
 typezvriter, a sezving machine and a Babcock 
 milk tester in evidence. Use every means avail- 
 able to indicate that this is very different from 
 the average schoolroom. This setting remains 
 unchanged throughout the Act, except that in 
 the final scene a poster plainly lettered, "Wel- 
 come to Woodruff School Fair," is prominently 
 placed and zvomen's zirraps and baskets are 
 about, indicating progress of fair out of doors. 
 Act til Scene I. 
 
 Sitting-room in the home of Mr. Bronson. 
 For this, make such changes in the setting for 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 7 
 
 Col. Woodruff's sitting-room as zvill indicate 
 a slightly different type of farm home. This 
 may be a combined kitchen and living-room. A 
 line zvith socks and other garments pinned to 
 it may be stretched across one corner. Have a 
 shabby old lounge placed well toward the centre 
 so that Newt/s speeches from the lounge may 
 be heard by the audience. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 Sitting-room in the home of Col. Woodruff. 
 Same as in Act I. 
 
 Act IV. 
 
 Schoolroom as in Act II. 
 
 It will not be necessary to bring back all the 
 
 equipment shown in Act II. The teacher's desk, 
 
 children's desks, blackboard and maps will be 
 
 sufficient to indicate a schoolroom if too much 
 
 time zvoiild be required to reset the stage as 
 
 before. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 ACT I 
 
 Scene I 
 
 Sitting-room of Col. Woodruff's farmhouse. 
 
 Jennie \A^oodruff — busied zvitJi needlework or ar- 
 rangement of flowers. 
 
 {Enter Jim Irwin, zvearing dirty overalls and 
 jnuddy shoes, awkzvard in appearance and man- 
 ner.) 
 
 Jennie. Hello, Jim ! What have you been busy 
 at? 
 
 Jim. Oh, I've been feeding the soil — putting- on 
 manure. I didn't get it done yesterday on account 
 of the roadv^ork. I came in just now to congratu- 
 late you upon your new position. Miss Woodruff, 
 County Superintendent of Schools. (Bows deeply) 
 
 Jennie. Thanks, Jim. I am glad I've got the 
 position. I worked hard for it. It will be ever so 
 much easier than teaching. And I like to feel that 
 I am getting on — vv^inning promotion. 
 
 (A few moments of silence.) 
 
 Jennie. Look here, Jim. Don't you think you 
 9 
 
10 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 should be at least preparing to be something better 
 than a hired man? 
 
 Jim. What can I do? I'm tied hand and foot. 
 I might have. . . . 
 
 Jennie. You might have, but, Jim, 3^ou haven't 
 . . . and I don't see any prospects. . . . 
 
 Jim. I've been writing for the farm papers, but — • 
 
 Jennie. But that doesn't get you anywhere, you 
 know. You're a great deal more able and intelli- 
 gent than Ed Smith, and see what a fine position 
 he has in Chicago. 
 
 Jim. There's Mother, you know. 
 
 Jennie. You can't do anything here. You've 
 been a hired man for fifteen years . . . and you al- 
 ways will be unless you pull yourself loose. Even 
 a girl can make a place for herself if she leaves 
 the farm and doesn't marry. You're twenty-eight 
 years old. 
 
 Jim. It's all wrong! The farm ought to be the 
 place for the best sort of career — I love the soil ! 
 Mother and I can live on my wages — and the garden 
 and chickens and the cow. After I received my 
 teacher's certificate, I tried to work out some way 
 of doing the same thing on a country teacher's wages. 
 I couldn't. It doesn't seem right. 
 
 Jennie. Well, v/hether it's right or not, it's so. 
 You can't do anything as long as you stay on the 
 farm. 
 
 Jim. But it ought to be possible for a man to do 
 work on the farm, or in the rural schools, that 
 would make him a living. If he is only a teacher 
 in a country school, it ought to be possible for him 
 to save money and buy a farm. 
 
 Jennie. Dad's land is worth two hundred dol- 
 lars an acre. A teacher would be a long time saving 
 up money to buy a farm like his. 
 
 Jim. No, it can't be done. But there ought to 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE ii 
 
 be such conditions that a teacher could make a Hv- 
 ing. 
 
 Jennie. They do, if they can Hve at home dur- 
 ing vacations. I do. 
 
 Jim. But a man teaching in the country ought 
 to be able to marry. 
 
 Jennie. Marry ! 
 
 Jim. Yes. A country teacher ought to be able 
 to marry. 
 
 Jennie. Marry! A country teacher marry ! You 
 marry ! (Laughs) You marry ! Humph ! 
 
 Jim. (Stares a moincnt in surprise) Oh! Good- 
 day! (Turns away — shozvs he is insulted) 
 
 Jennie. (Very coolly) Good-day. 
 
 (Jim goes out. Jennie looks after him a moment 
 in disgust, then resumes her zvork. Enter Col. 
 Woodruff. Looks for a hook or paper, or 
 busies himself in some zvay for a few moments 
 before speaking.) 
 
 Col. W. : I thought I saw Jim going down the 
 lane, Jennie. Was he here? 
 
 Jennie. Yes, father. 
 
 Col. W. Did he say whether he really intends to 
 go to the school board meeting to-night ? 
 
 Jennie. No, he didn't mention it. Why, what 
 would he go to the meeting for? 
 
 Col. W.: Oh! You know the deadlock is still 
 on about engaging a new teacher. Bronson says 
 he will have Mary Foster again or he'll give the 
 school a darned long holiday. Bonner won't vote 
 for anyone but Maggie Gilmartin— and Peterson 
 says he'll stick to Herman Paulson until the Niagara 
 Falls freeze over. It seems that yesterday, when 
 the men were at the roadwork, they began jollying 
 Jim, telling him he was the man to break the dead- 
 
12 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 lock. Jim retorted that he'd like to tell the whole 
 board what he thought of them as public servants. 
 "xA.ll right," said Bonner. "Come to the meeting to- 
 morrow night and tell us. We've lacked brains on 
 the board, that's clear. They ain't a man on the 
 board that iver studied algebra. Come down to the 
 meetin' and we'll have a hired man address the 
 school board — an' begosh ! I'll move we hire you as 
 teacher!" Jim got kind of red, but told them he'd 
 go down and tell them a few things. 
 
 Jennie. How silly of him ! He's better edu- 
 cated and smarter than any of them — but what good 
 will it do for him to go to the meeting? They'll 
 only make fun of him ! 
 
 Col. W. I'm not so sure of that. He surprised 
 some of them yesterday by knocking a strange man 
 down! 
 
 Jennie. Knocked a man down ! Never ! 
 
 Col. W. Yes. It was all over Newt. Bronson. 
 The little, undersized harum-scarum ! Always up to 
 tricks! Well, he was working at the grading on 
 the road, with the men, yesterday. Towards noon 
 an auto came along. Newt, planted himself on 
 some loose earth that was lying in the middle of 
 the road, and waved to the driver to stop. The 
 driver had got up speed so as to go over the pile, 
 but he stopped and asked Newt, what he wanted. 
 "Oh," says Newt., "I just wanted to ask you the 
 correct time." The stranger Jumped out of the 
 car and was just going to strike the boy, when Jirn 
 caught his fist. "You're too angry to punish that 
 boy just now," says Jim. But the driver turned on 
 Jim and struck at him. Jim swung back with a blow 
 that sent the man topnh'ng over the pile of earth. 
 "We got up, picked im his sfojrele!^. and climbed into 
 the cnr. Tim seemed ashnmed of having hit a man. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 13 
 
 But he always seems to like that boy Newt, and to 
 stand up for him. 
 
 Jennie. I don't see how he can. The boy is 
 going to the bad. He swears like a trooper, and is 
 soaked with tobacco. 
 
 Col. W. Jim always seems to find something to 
 talk to him about. I heard him telling Newt, the 
 other day all about nitrates in the soil, and showing 
 him clover roots with the white specks on, and the 
 boy seemed quite interested. 
 
 Jennie. Oh, agriculture! Jim's always reading 
 up about agriculture, but I don't see what good it 
 does him. It's nothing but agriculture, agriculture, 
 agriculture ! I'm sick and tired of it ! (Gets up 
 and makes her way toward the door during this 
 speech) 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE II 
 
 A bare room with a table and some chairs. The 
 three school trustees, Jim Irwin, and a few 
 spectators, including Newt. Bronson and Ray- 
 mond Sim MS, present. Bronson presiding 
 over the meeting. 
 
 Bronson. Is there any further discussion? 
 
 Bonner. (Rising and addressing the Chair) Mr. 
 Chairman, we have wid us to-night a young man 
 who nades no introduction to an audience in this 
 place, Mr. Jim Irwin. He thinks we're bullheaded 
 mules, and that all the schools are bad. At the 
 proper time I shall move that we hire him for 
 teacher ; and pinding that motion, I move that he 
 be given the floor. YeVe all heard of Mr. Irwin's 
 ability as a white hope, and I know he'll be listened 
 to wid respect. 
 
 Jim. Mr. Chairman and gentlemen of the Board, 
 I'm not going to tell you anything that you don't 
 know about yourselves. You are simply making a 
 farce of the matter of hiring a teacher for this 
 school. It is not as if any of you had a theory 
 that the teaching methods of one of these teachers 
 would be any better than those of the others. You 
 know, and I know, that whichever is finally en- 
 gaged, or even if your silly deadlock is broken by 
 employing a new teacher, the school will be the 
 same old story. It will still be the school it was 
 when I came into it, a little ragged boy. In all the 
 
 14 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 15 
 
 years I attended this school I never did a bit of 
 work in school which was economically useful. No 
 other pupil ever did any real work of the sort farm- 
 ers' boys and girls should do. We copied city 
 schools and the schools we copied were poor schools. 
 We made bad copies of them, too. If any of you 
 three men were making a fight for a new kind of 
 rural school, I'd say fight. But you aren't. You're 
 just making individual fights for your favorite 
 teachers. You will want to know what I mean by 
 a new kind of rural school. By that I mean a 
 school in which the work will be connected with 
 the life of the farm homes of the children. I want 
 the school to take into account the interests of 
 country children. I want the children to have arith- 
 metic problems based on such home interests as 
 records of laying hens and the prices of cream and 
 butter. I want them to have spelling lessons on 
 words that grow out of other studies, not on lists 
 of isolated, meaningless words. I want the boys 
 given manual training, and taught soil management 
 and seed testing, dairying, corn growing. I'd have 
 the children measure things and weigh things and 
 apply what they learn. I'd connect up the school 
 with life in every possible way.. And the children 
 would get culture out of my kind of school — true 
 culture. Around the kind of school I want would 
 grow up a social life that would make the school 
 the social as well as the educational centre of the 
 countryside. But I'd keep you here all night if I 
 were to try to picture to you fully the kind of coun- 
 try school I want. I'm not asking you to appoint 
 me as teacher — but if I were teacher here, that's the 
 kind of school I'd want to keep. 
 
 (Jim sits dozvn, embarrassed. Faint applause from 
 audience, chiefly from Newt, and Ray- 
 mond.) 
 
i6 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Bonner. We have had the privilege of Hst'nin' to 
 a great spache, Mr. Chairman. We should be proud 
 to have a horned orator like this in the agricultural 
 population of the district. A reg'lar William Jen- 
 nin's Bryan. (Striking the table) I don't under- 
 stand what he was trying to tell us, but sometimes 
 I've had the same difficulty with the spaches of 
 other orators. Makin' a good spache is one thing 
 and teaching a good school is another. T ought to 
 know, for my missus was a school-teacher. But in 
 order to bring this matter before the board, I nomi- 
 nate Mr. James E. Irwin, the Boy Orator of the 
 Woodruff District, and the new white hope, f'r the 
 job of teacher of this school, and I move that if 
 he receives a majority of the votes of this board, 
 the secretary and prisident be insthructed to enter 
 into a contract wid him f'r the comin' year. 
 
 Chairman. If there's no objection it will be so 
 ordered. The Chair hears no objection — and it is 
 so ordered. Prepare the ballots for a vote on the 
 election of teacher, Mr. Secretary. Each votes his 
 preference for teacher. A majority elects. 
 
 (Members of the board vote, place ballots in hat. 
 Boys peek over Bonner's shoulder to see how 
 he marks his ballot. At first the trustees ap- 
 pear quite indifferent. Peterson unrolls the 
 ballots and reads them with difficulty by the 
 light of the coal-oil lamp. As he reads thei 
 second ballot he shozvs surprise; and when it is 
 announced, Bronson, who has been tilted back 
 in his chair, takes his feet off the table and 
 straightens up in evident surprise.) 
 
 Secretary (Peterson). (Draws out first ballot) 
 James E. Irwin — one. (Draws out second ballot) 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE t; 
 
 James E. Irwin, two. (Draws out third ballot) 
 James E. Irwin, three. 
 
 Chairman. (Choking and stammering) The 
 ballot having shown the unanimous election of James 
 E. Irwin, I declare him elected. 
 
 (The Trustees look at one another in consternation, 
 and act as if they do not know zvhat to do 
 next.) 
 
 Peterson. (Suddenly) I move v/e adjourn. 
 Chairman. If there*s no objection, it's so or- 
 dered. 
 
 (Jim and the spectators go out.) 
 
 Bonner. What the divil — what for did you vote 
 for that dub, Ez ? 
 
 Bronson. I voted for him because he fought for 
 my boy yesterday. I didn't want it stuck into him 
 too hard. I wanted him to have one vote. 
 
 Bonner. An' I wanted him to have wan vote, 
 too. I thought meself the only dang fool on the 
 board, an' he made a spache that aimed wan vote — 
 but for the love of hivin', that dub f'r a teacher! 
 What came over you, Haak? You voted for him, 
 too! 
 
 Peterson. Ay vanted him to haf von vote, too ! 
 (Strikes a match and lights his pipe as the curtain 
 falls) 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE III 
 
 (Room as in Scene I. Jennie seated by tabic, occu- 
 pied with some work.) 
 
 (Enter Colonel. Hunts for his slippers, seats him- 
 self heavily as if very stiff and tired, and begins 
 to take off his shoes. In the course of the con- 
 versation lie gets up, gets the newspaper and 
 prepares to read.) 
 
 Col. W. Jennie, Jim Irwin was the best farm 
 hand I ever had, and I'm sorry I've lost him. 
 
 Jennie. I'm glad he's left you. He ought to 
 be something better than a hired man. 
 
 Col. W. I've no idea he can make good as a 
 teacher — and what is there in it if he does? 
 
 Jennie. What has he lost if he doesn't? And 
 why can't he make good? 
 
 CoL. W. The school board's against him, for one 
 thing. They'll fire him if they get a chance. I 
 was talking to two of the trustees, Bronson and 
 Bonner, to-day. They visited the school the other 
 day. Bonner says Jim will never do. Says he had 
 the children working at corn that day. They had 
 all brought seed-corn, and were having a sort of 
 corn show. The little chaps were learning to count 
 by counting kernels and ears of corn and the Third 
 Class was calculating percentage problems in arith- 
 metic by making up what percentage of the ears 
 were first-class. Bonner says it was the noisiest 
 
 i8 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 19 
 
 school he ever saw. Bronson says : "My boy Newt, is 
 as tickled as a colt and says he is going regular this 
 winter." "Huh," says Bonner. "That's because 
 Jim lets Newt, do as he darn pleases." "Well," 
 says Bronson, "it's the first time he's ever pleased 
 to do anything but deviltry." Both Bonner and Bron- 
 son admit that the attendance is larger than it ever 
 was, and that the children can't be kept home, they're 
 so crazy to go. 
 
 Jennie. Yes, the attendance is larger. Even the 
 children from that Simms family are attending 
 regularly now, and they always hated school before. 
 What sort of people are they? 
 
 Col. W. They're a shiftless family. Don't know 
 much about farming. And the soil is so poor on 
 that farm they are on that they'd need to know a 
 good deal about farming to make anything out of 
 it. But Jim's doing everything he can to help them. 
 He has the two boys, young Newt, and Raymond 
 Simms, out at the barn now picking out specimens 
 of different grain seeds for their class to-morrow. 
 
 Jennie. But, Father, how did Jim get Raymond 
 Simms to come to school ? He's very shy and back- 
 ward, isn't he? 
 
 CoL. W. Oh, he has visited the family and has got 
 on good terms with old man Simms. For that matter, 
 he has visited every family in the neighborhood. 
 He has a notebook with all sorts of facts about 
 every family in the section — how many acres each 
 has, what kind of farming they are doing — livestock, 
 grain, or mixed — whether they have a mortgage, 
 whether the children are wayward, how far they are 
 on in school, what they like to read, what they like 
 to play. But the trustees don't like it. They want 
 to fire Jim because he is not using the regular text- 
 books. They will probably ask you, as superin- 
 tendent, to take some action. 
 
20 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Jennie. Well, why doesn't Jim do as other 
 teachers do? I met Haakon Peterson to-day. He 
 was talking about Jim, too, and says some one 
 ought to "line him up," as he calls it. "The way 
 Jim is doing- in the school is all wrong." He says : 
 "Some one must line him up and make him do right. 
 If some one does not line him up, he will have his 
 certificate taken away." (Pauses, resumes her 
 work: gets up, and speaks rather hesitatingly ) 
 Father, do you think I might speak to Jim and see 
 if I can talk him out of some of his foolishness? — 
 not in my official capacity, but as an old friend. 
 
 Col. W. (Looks surprised, winks tozvards the 
 audience) Line him up, eh? Well, that's a good 
 plan, and besides, you may get some good ideas out 
 of Jim. (Makes his way towards the door) 
 
 Jennie. Not likely. 
 
 Col. W. I don't know about that. I begin to 
 "think that Jim's a Brown Mouse. 
 
 Jennie. A Brown Mouse? Whatever do you 
 mean, father? 
 
 Col. W. (Turns and faces the audience, and 
 speaks half jokingly. This speech must be spoken 
 very distinctly and zmth some deliberation^ so that 
 the meaning of the Brown Mouse may be made clear 
 to the audience) A fellow in Edinburgh crossed the 
 Japanese waltzing mouse with the common white 
 mouse. Every once in a while he got from his 
 waltzing and white cross a brown mouse — not a 
 common house mouse — but a wild mouse different 
 from any he had ever seen. It ran away — it bit 
 and gnawed — and raised hob. It was what we 
 breeders call a Mendelian segregation of factors 
 that had been in the waltzers and the white mice 
 all the time. Now, Jim's father was a peddler 
 — a sort of waltzing mouse, no good except to jump 
 from one spot to another for no good reason. Jim's 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 21 
 
 mother is a white mouse of a woman — all the color 
 washed out in one way or another. Jim may turn 
 out to be a brown mouse, and if he does, he may 
 be a bigger man than any of us. Anyhow, I'm for 
 him ! 
 
 Jennie. He'll have to be a big man to make any- 
 thing out of the job of a country school-teacher. 
 If he'd only go to the city 
 
 Col. W. (Pauses as he' is going out of the room, 
 and speaks emphatically) Any job's as big as the 
 man who holds it down. 
 
 (Jennie sits down and resumes her work, but 
 throws it down as if unable to keep her mind 
 on it. Knock at the door. Enter Jim. He is 
 dressed in coarse, ill-fitting clothes and seems 
 doubtful at first as to hozv Jennie will receive 
 him. But she speaks cordially.) 
 
 Jennie. Hello, Jim! You're just the person I 
 was wishing to see. Sit down. It's nice to see 
 one's old friends. 
 
 Jim. (Brightens up) Yes, we are old friends, 
 aren't we, Jennie? 
 
 Jennie. Yes, we are, Jim. But everything is 
 different now and getting more different all the 
 time. Your new w^ork, you know — I've been want- 
 ing to speak to you about that. Don't you think it 
 would be better just to teach like other teachers 
 do? 
 
 (Jim draws his chair close to Jennie and fakes her 
 hand — points out a tiny scar.) 
 
 Jim. Do you remember how you got that scar? 
 
 Jennie. Why, I don't believe I do. 
 
 Jim. I do. We — you and I and Mary Forsythe 
 
22 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 — were playing mumble-peg, and you put your hand 
 on the grass just as I threw the knife. It cut you 
 and left that scar. 
 
 Jennie. I remember now ! How such things 
 come back to one. And did it leave a scar when I 
 pushed you toward the red-hot stove in the school- 
 house one bHzzardy day ? The skin peeled off your 
 wrist where it struck the stove. 
 
 Jim. Look at it! Right there! 
 
 Jennie. Jim, do you know what I wish? I wish 
 yt)U wouldn't try to follow your own fads and fan- 
 cies in your teaching. I'm afraid 
 
 Jim. (Who has been looking absent-minded, 
 speaks dreamily) And do you remember the day 
 I carried you across the slew when it had been 
 flooded by a big rain, and you couldn't get home 
 from school ? 
 
 Jennie. Yes, I remember, Jim. But about the 
 way you are teaching 
 
 Jim. And do you remember that time the tornado 
 just missed the schoolhouse and frightened every- 
 body in school nearly to death? 
 
 Jennie. Everybody but you, Jim. You looked 
 out of the window and told the teacher that the 
 twister was going north of us, and would kill some- 
 body else. 
 
 Jim. Did I? 
 
 Jennie. Yes, and when the teacher asked us to 
 kneel and thank God, you said, "Why should we 
 thank God that somebody else is blowed away?" 
 She was greatly shocked. 
 
 Jim. And do you remember? . . . (Takes Jen- 
 nie^s hand) 
 
 Jennie. (Pulling azvay her hand) You can't 
 find any more scars on it. Seriously, Jim, there 
 isn't any use of your going on with your queer way 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 23 
 
 of teaching. Tve taught a country school — and 
 
 know 
 
 Jim. Let me see how much your hand has 
 changed since I stuck the knife in it. It's longer 
 and slenderer and whiter, and even more beautiful 
 than the child hand 1 cut ; but it was then the most 
 beautiful in the world to me — and still is 
 
 (Towards the end of the conversation Newt, and 
 Raymond are peeking in at the door, trying to 
 listen, and evidently enjoying the fun. Sud- 
 denly in the midst of Jim's speech, Raymond 
 pushes Newt, into the room and he sprazids on 
 the floor. Jim makes a dash after him and 
 follows him off the stage. A moment later the 
 Colonel enters, and looks knowingly at Jen- 
 nie as he speaks.) 
 
 CoL. W. Well, Jennie, did you give Jim a good 
 talking to about his wild methods of teaching? Did 
 you Hne him up? 
 
 Jennie. (Starting and looking uncomfortable 
 on her zvay tozvards the door) I — I — I — I'm afraid 
 I didn't, Father. 
 
 CoL. W. Ha! Ha! These Brown Mice are the 
 devil and all to control ! 
 
 Curtain 
 
ACT II 
 
 Scene I 
 
 (Schoolroom, as described in Stage Directions, page 
 6. Newt. Bronson and Raymond Simms — 
 sweeping and dusting school.) 
 
 Newt. I wouldn't go back on a friend the way 
 you're going back on me. 
 
 Raymond. You got no call to talk that way. 
 How'm I goin' back on you? 
 
 Newt. We was goin' to trap all winter, and next 
 winter we were goin' up in the north woods to- 
 gether. 
 
 Raymond. You know that we cain't run any 
 trap line and keep on at school. 
 
 (Newt, looks glum; makes no reply.) 
 
 Raymond. Mr. Irwin needs all the he'p every kid 
 in this settlement kin give him. He's the best friend 
 I ever had. He teaches me how to do things that 
 will make me something. 
 
 Newt. Darn it all ! 
 
 Raymond. You know that you'd think maghty 
 small of me if I'd desert the teacher now. 
 
 Newt. Well, then! What'U we do when the 
 trustees get the superintendent to take away his 
 certificate and make him quit teachin', hey ? 
 
 24 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 25 
 
 Raymond. Nobody'll eveh do that. I'd set in 
 the schoolhouse do' with my rifle and shoot anybody 
 that'd come to th'ow Mr. Jim outen the school. 
 
 Newt. Not in this country. This ain't a gun 
 country. 
 
 Raymond. But it orto be either a justice kentry 
 or a gun kentry. It stands to reason it must be one 
 or the otheh, Newton. 
 
 Newt. No, it don't, either. 
 
 Raymond. Why should they th'ow Mr. Irwin 
 outen the school ? Ain't he teachin' us right ? 
 
 Newt. I told you before how my father, and 
 Con. Bonner, and Haak Peterson didn't mean to 
 hire Jim Irwin at all. They each voted for him so's 
 he'd have one vote ! They were all agaiiist him from 
 the first, but they didn't know how to get rid of 
 him. But now he's done so many things that a 
 teacher ain't supposed to do, and he ain't done what 
 a teacher is supposed to do, — so they have made up 
 their minds to ask him to resign. If he don't re- 
 sign, they will turn him out some way or other. 
 They think they'll get the superintendent to have his 
 certificate taken away. 
 
 Raymond. What wrong's he done? I don't know 
 what teachers air supposed to do in this kentry, but 
 Mr. Jim seems to be the only sure-enough teacher I 
 ever had! 
 
 Newt. He don't teach out of the books the school 
 board adopted. 
 
 Raymond. But he makes up better lessons. An' 
 all the things we do in school he'ps us one way or 
 another. 
 
 Newt. He begins at eight in the mornin' an' he 
 has some of us there till half-past five, and comes 
 back in the evening. And every Saturday some of 
 the kids are doin' something at the schoolhouse. 
 
 Raymond. They don't pay him for overtime, do 
 
26 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 they? Well, then, they orto instid of turnin' him 
 out! 
 
 Newt. Well, they'll turn him out! I'm havin* 
 more fun in school than I ever had, an' that's why 
 I'm with you on this quittin' trapping — but they'll 
 get Jim, all right. 
 
 Raymond. I'm having something betteh'n fun. 
 My pap has never understood this kentry, an' we-all 
 has had bad times hyeh; but Mr. Jim an' I have 
 studied out how I can make a betteh livin' next year. 
 It seems we didn't do our work right last year, but 
 in a couple of years we'll get on our feet. 
 
 (Jim enters. He has various sorts of dishes con-- 
 taining specimens of grain and grass seeds.) 
 
 Jim. Newton, make out percentage problems for 
 Class B, in arithmetic, for to-morrow. Make them 
 plain, and be sure that you name the farm every 
 time. Here's the records of the seeds we examined 
 yesterday. 
 
 (Few moments of activity.) 
 
 Jim. (To Newt, j It's ten minutes to five. Have 
 you the problems ready? 
 
 (Knock at door. Newt, goes to door. Enter Mrs. 
 Peterson, Mrs. Bonner, Mrs. Bronson. Jim 
 shakes hands with them and gives them chairs.) 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. We'd like to speak to you, teacher, 
 without the children here. 
 
 (Jim dismisses boys.) 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. You may think it strange of us 
 coming at such an hour. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 27 
 
 Jim. I wish more of the parents would call — at 
 any hour of the day. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. Or night either, I dare say. I 
 hear youVe the scholars here at all hours, Jim. ( Jtm 
 smiles) 
 
 Jim. We do break the union rules, I guess, Mrs. 
 Bonner. There seems to be more to do than we can 
 get done during school hours. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. What right have ye to be burning 
 the district's fuel, and wearing out the school's prop- 
 erty out of hours like that? — Not that it's any of 
 my business. I just thought of it, that's all. What 
 we came for, Mr. Irwin, is to object to the way the 
 teachin's being done — corn and wheat, and hogs and 
 the like, instead of the learnin' schools was made to 
 teach. 
 
 Jim. Schools were made to prepare children for 
 life, weren't they, Mrs. Bonner ? 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. To be sure. I can see, an' the 
 whole district can see, that it's easier for a man that's 
 been a farmhand to teach farmhand knowledge than 
 the learnin' schools was set up to teach, but if so be 
 he hasn't the book education to do the right thing, 
 we think he should get out and give a real teacher a 
 chance. 
 
 Jim. What am I neglecting? 
 
 (Mrs. Bonner seems unprepared for the question, 
 and sits for an instant imite. Mrs. Peterson 
 interposes her attack while Mrs. Bonner is re- 
 covering her zmnd.) 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. (In a precise way which seems 
 to show that she knows exactly what she wants) 
 We people that have had a hard time want to give 
 our boys and girls a chance to live easier lives than 
 
2^ THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 we lived. We don't want our children taught about 
 nothing but work. We want higher things. 
 
 Jim. Mrs. Peterson, we must have first things 
 first. Making a living is the first thing. 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. Haakon and I will look after 
 making a living for our family. We want our chil- 
 dren to learn nice things, and go to high school, and 
 after a while to the juniversity. 
 
 Jim. And I will send out from this school, if 
 you will let me, pupils better prepared for higher 
 schools than have ever gone from it — because they 
 will be trained to think in terms of action. They 
 will go knowing that thoughts must always be linked 
 with things. Aren't your children happy in school, 
 Mrs. Peterson? 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. I don't send them to school to 
 be happy, Yim. I send them to learn to be higher 
 people than their father and mother. 
 
 Jim. They'll be higher people — ^higher than their 
 parents — higher than their teacher. They'll be effi- 
 cient farmers, and efficient farmers' wives. They'll 
 be happy, because they will know how to use as 
 much brains in farming as any lawyer or doctor or 
 merchant can possibly use in his business. I'm edu- 
 cating them to find an outlet for genius in farming. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. It's a fine thing to work hard for 
 a lifetime, an' raise n.othing but a family of farm- 
 ers ! A fine thing ! 
 
 Jim. They will be farmers anyhow, in spite of 
 your efforts — ninety out of every hundred of them! 
 And of the other ten, nine will be wage-earners in 
 the cities, and wish to God they were back on the 
 farm ; and the hundredth one will succeed in the city. 
 Shall we educate the ninety and nine to fail, that 
 the hundredth, instead of enriching the rural life 
 with his talents, may steal them away to make the 
 city stronger? It is already too strong for us farm- 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 29 
 
 ers. Shall we drive our best away to make it 
 stronger? 
 
 (Mrs. Bonner and Mrs. Peterson, silenced for a 
 moment, and Mrs. Bronson_, zvho has been gaz- 
 ing about at the typeivriter, the hectograph, the 
 exhibits of zveed seeds, the Babcock milk-tester, 
 and the other unscholastic equipment, points to 
 the lists of words and the arithmetic problems 
 on the board.) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Did you get them words from 
 the speller ? 
 
 Jim. No, we got them from a lesson on seed 
 wheat. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Did them examples come^out of 
 an arithmetic book? 
 
 Jim. No, we used problems we made ourselves. 
 We are figuring profits and losses on your cows, 
 Mrs. Bronson. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Ezra Bronson don't need any 
 help in telling what's a good cow. He was farming 
 before you was born. 
 
 Newt. (Sticking his head in the door) Like fun, 
 he don't need help ! He's going to dry old Cherry 
 off and fatten her for beef ; and he can make more 
 money of¥ the cream by beefing about three more of 
 'em. The Babcock test shows they're just boarding 
 on us without paying their board ! 
 
 (Women become ruffled.) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Newton, don't interrupt me wnen 
 I'm talking to the teacher ! 
 
 Newt. Well, then, don't tell the teacher that pa 
 knows which cows were good and which were poor. 
 If any one in this district wants to know about their 
 
30 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 cows, it'll ])ay them to step around to this joint. 
 They'll have to come, too, if they're going to make 
 anything selling cream. Wait until we get out our 
 reports on the herds, Ma ! 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. Cows! If we leave you in this 
 yob, Mr. Irwin, our children will know nothing but 
 cows and hens, and soils and grains — and where will 
 the culture come in? How will our boys and girls 
 appear when we get fixed so we can move to town? 
 We won't have no culture at all, Yim ! 
 
 Jim. Culture ! W^hy — why, after ten years of the 
 sort of school I would give you if I were a better 
 teacher, and could have my way, the people of the 
 cities would be begging to have their children ad- 
 mitted so that they might obtain real culture — cul- 
 ture fitting them for life in the twentieth century. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. Don't bother to get ready for the 
 city children, Jim. You won't be teaching the Wood- 
 ruff school that long. 
 
 (The women have moved tozvard door during Mrs. 
 Bonner's last speech, and they go out as she 
 finishes. Jim turns grimly to blackboard and 
 begins writing exercises,) 
 
 (Knock at door. Enter Jennie.^ 
 
 Jennie. How do you do, Mr. Irv\^in? I knew 
 I'd find you here long after school was dismissed. 
 Whatever do you do here every night until six 
 o'clock ? 
 
 Jim. Let me give you a chair? 
 
 Jennie. Oh, no, thank you. I'll just make my- 
 self at home. I knovv^ my way about in this school- 
 house, you know. Just you go on with your work. 
 (Jennie goes about the room, examining equipment) 
 
 Jennie. What are all these cards about, Jim? 
 
 Jim. Oh, we've been taking a cow census of the 
 neighborhood. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 31 
 
 Jennie. A cow census? Well, what next ? What 
 is the idea? 
 
 Jim. Well, we've found that there are 138 cows 
 in the district, and over 600 within an hour's drive. 
 To-morrow, in the language class, Class Four is to 
 tell in three hundred words or less, whether there 
 are enough cows in the neighborhood to justify a 
 co-operative creamery, and give the reason. They are 
 to read articles in the farm papers on the subject. 
 I've just been making up some arithmetic problems 
 from prices given in the correspondence we have 
 had with creameries. 
 
 Jennie. Jim, do you know that you are facing 
 trouble ? 
 
 Jim. Trouble is the natural condition of a man 
 in my state of mind. But it is going to be a de- 
 licious sort of tribulation. 
 
 Jennie. I don't know what you mean. 
 
 Jim. Then I don't know what you mean. 
 
 Jennie. (Pleadingly) Jim, I want you to give 
 up this sort of teaching. Can't you see it's all 
 wrong? 
 
 Jim. No, I can't see that it's wrong. It's the 
 only sort I can do. What do you see wrong in it? 
 
 Jennie. Oh ! I can see some very wonderful 
 things in it, but it can't be done in this district. It 
 may be correct in theory, but it won't work in prac- 
 tice. 
 
 Jim. Jennie, when a thing won't work, it isn't 
 correct in theory. 
 
 Jennie. Well, then, Jim, why do you keep on 
 with it? 
 
 Jim. It works. Anything that's correct in theory 
 will work. If the theory seems correct, and yet 
 won't work, it's because something is wrong in an 
 unsuspected way with the theory. But my theory is 
 correct, and it works. 
 
2,2 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Jennie. But the district is against it. 
 
 Jim. Who are the district? 
 
 Jennie. The school board are against it. 
 
 Jim. The school board elected me after listening 
 to an explanation of my theories as to the new sort 
 of rural school in which I believe. I assume that 
 they commissioned me to carry out my ideas. 
 
 Jennie. Oh, Jim! That's sophistry! They all 
 voted for you so you wouldn't be without support. 
 Each wanted you to have just one vote. Nobody 
 wanted you elected. They were all surprised. You 
 know that! 
 
 Jim. They stood by and saw the contract signed, 
 and — yes, Jennie, I am dealing in sophistry. I got 
 the school by a sort of shell-game, which the board 
 worked on themselves. But that doesn't prove that 
 the district is against me. I believe the people are 
 for me now, Jennie. I really do! 
 
 Jennie. (Very decidedly) They are going to 
 petition me, as Superintendent, and ask to have you 
 removed on the ground that you are incompetent. 
 
 Jim. Has it come to that ? Well, to tell the truth, 
 I have rather expected it. 
 
 Jennie. (Coldly and stiffly) Well, if you won't 
 change your methods, I suggest that you resign. 
 
 Jim. Do you think that changing my methods 
 would appease the men who feel that they are made 
 laughing-stocks by having engaged me ? They would 
 never call off their dogs. 
 
 Jennie. But your methods would make a great 
 difference with my decision. 
 
 Jim. And do you think that my abandonment of 
 the things in which I beheve, because of this attack, 
 would prove that I am competent? Or would it 
 show me incompetent? 
 
 (Jennie silent.) 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 33 
 
 Jim. I guess tliat we'll have to stand or fall on 
 things as they are. 
 
 Jennie. You refuse to resign ? 
 
 Jim. Sometimes I think it's not worth while to 
 try any longer. And yet, I believe that in my way 
 I'm working on the question which must be solved 
 if the nation is to stand — the question of making 
 the farm and farm life what they should be and 
 may well be. At this moment I feel like surrender- 
 ing because you want me to — but I'll have to think 
 about it. Suppose I refuse to resign ? 
 
 Jennie. (Drawing on her gloves) Unless you 
 resign by the twenty-fifth, they will send in the 
 petition. The charge will be incompetency. I bid 
 you good-evening. 
 
 (Jennie goes out angrily. Jim sits down at desk 
 dejectedly, head in hands. After a fezv mo- 
 ments he straightens up and begins to write, 
 his lips set firmly. Tap at the door. Enter Col. 
 Woodruff, in hat and ulster, whip in hand.) 
 
 CoL. W. Hello, Jim ! 
 
 Jim. How do you do, Colonel? Take a chair, 
 won't you? I've just written my resignation. 
 
 Col. W. Resignation ! Nonsense ! I came to 
 see if you and the boys at the schoolhouse can tell 
 me anything about the smut in my wheat. I heard 
 you were going to work on that to-night. 
 
 Jim. I had forgotten 
 
 Col. W. I'll come to-night, if you like. I'll give 
 the boys a chance to test the value of the formalin 
 treatment on my seed. 
 
 Jim. Thank you, Colonel. (Pause) 
 
 Col. W. Jim, can your school kids spell ? 
 
 Jim. I think that they can outspell any school 
 about here. 
 
34 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Col. W. Good ! How are they about reading 
 aloud ? 
 
 Jim. Better than they were when I took hold. 
 
 Col. W. How about arithmetic and other bran- 
 ches? Have you sort of kept them up to the course 
 of study? 
 
 Jim. I have carried them in a couise parallel to 
 the textbooks, and covering- the same ground. But 
 it has been vocational work, you know — related to 
 life. 
 
 Col. W. Well, if I were you, I'd put them over 
 a rapid review of the textbooks for a few days — 
 say between now and the twenty-fifth. 
 
 Jim. Why? 
 
 Col. W. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if the 
 trustees ask Jennie, as Superintendent, to come and 
 look you over and examine the school soon. And 
 say, Jim, just let me put that resignation of yours in 
 the waste-basket. (Reaches over to the desk and 
 picks Tip the sheet of paper and crnmples it in his 
 hand) Jim, I think I'll give myself the luxury of 
 being a wild-eyed reformer for once. 
 
 Jim. Yes? 
 
 Col. W. And if you think, Jim, that you've got 
 no friends, just remember that I'm for you. 
 
 Jim. Thank you, Colonel. 
 
 Col. W. And we'll show them they're in a horse- 
 race. (Cracks zvhip) 
 
 Jim. I don't see 
 
 Col. W. You're not supposed to see, but you can 
 bet that we'll be with them at the finish ; and by 
 thunder! (Cracks zvhip) while they're getting a full 
 meal, we'll get at least a lunch. See ? 
 
 Jim. But Jennie says 
 
 Col. W. (With growing excitement) Don't tell 
 me what she says. She's acting according to her 
 judgment — but she's only a woman ! But you go on 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 35 
 
 and review the common branches, and keep your 
 nerve. I haven't felt so much Hke a scrap since the 
 day we stormed Lookout Mountain! I kinder Hke 
 being a wild-eyed reformer, Jim ! Come on and I'll 
 give you a ride home now. 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE 11 
 
 School room as in Scene I. (Jennie seated at the 
 desk. JiM^ Mr. and Mrs. Bonner, Mr, and Mrs. 
 Peterson,, Mr. and Mrs, Bronson, and as many 
 spectators as convenient, present.) 
 
 Jennie, (Rises) This is no formal proceeding- and 
 we shall dispense with red tape. I have here (holds 
 paper in hand) a petition for the removal of Mr. Irwin 
 as teacher of this school, on the ground of incompe- 
 tency. I have this morning examined the pupils of 
 this school, and now I should like to hear why Mr. 
 Bonner, Mr. Peterson, and Mr. Bronson think that 
 Mr. Irwin is not competent. 
 
 Mr. Bonner. (Rises eagerly) This teacher don't 
 pay any attention at all to the school books. He makes 
 up quistions of his own instead of givin' them young- 
 sters quistions out of the arithmetic. How can they do 
 sums when they haven't the answers in the back of 
 the book to look at? Then he gives them shpellings 
 that ain't in the shpeller an' they hardly iver open their 
 shpelling books at all ! 
 
 Mr. Peterson. (Jumps up, gesticulating) And he 
 burns the fuel in Yanuary dat ve bought for all vinter 
 havin' fires more dan ve jused to. Yumpin' yiminy! 
 And de school furniture all vears out! Yust new- 
 fangled bunk, I tank ! 
 
 Mr. Bronson. (Rising and speaking emphatically) 
 He teaches the children to test our cows for butterfat, 
 
 36 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 37 
 
 which isn't his business. They are spending their time 
 on weeds and seeds and carpentering and sewing when 
 they should be learnin' to parse and say off the rivers 
 and bays in all the continents and all such things. 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. (From her seat) We don't want 
 our children brought up to be yust farmers. What 
 will they do when we move to town? 
 
 Mr. Bronson. (Has remained standing during 
 Mrs. P.'s speech) And it ain't enough for him to 
 carry on the way he does, but I've heard tell that he 
 wants to have a blacksmith shop on the school grounds, 
 and a co-operative creamery nearby, an' a building to 
 have movin' pictures in an' concerts and all such non- 
 sense, and 
 
 Mr. Bonner. (Interrupting excitedly) An' worse 
 than that, he said wan day he'd like to have a room at 
 the school where the wimmin could leave their babies 
 whin they go to town, and have somebody here to 
 tache the girls how to take care of babies! An' I 
 say that we can rest our case right there. If that ain't 
 the limit, I don't know what is ! 
 
 Jennie. Well, do you desire to rest your case right 
 there? (No reply) Then, Mr. Irwin, will you tell us, 
 please, what you have done in the way of teaching 
 the things called for by the course of study, while you 
 have been following out these very interesting and 
 original methods? 
 
 Jim. What is the course of study? Is it anything 
 more than an outline of the mental march the pupils 
 are ordered to make? Take reading: Does it give 
 the child any greater masteiy of the printed page to 
 read about Casabianca on the Burning Deck than to 
 read about the codling moth which makes the apple 
 wormy? And how can he be given better command 
 of language than by writing about things that he sees 
 round about him every day on the farm? Everything 
 they do runs into numbers, and we do more arithmetic 
 
38 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 than the course requires. There isn't any branch of 
 study — not even poetry and art and music — that isn't 
 touched by hfe. If there is we haven't time for it in 
 the common schools. 
 
 Jennie. Then you mean to assert that while you 
 have been doing this work, which was not contem- 
 plated by those who made up the courses of study, 
 you have not neglected anything ? 
 
 Jim. I mean that I'm willing to stand or fall by 
 the examination which you made to-day of these chil- 
 dren in the very textbooks I am accused of neglecting. 
 At your request I was absent when you examined the 
 children. I know nothing of how they did. But I'm 
 willing to stand or fall by the results' of your exami- 
 nation. 
 
 Jennie. (Turning tozvards trustees, speaking very 
 deliberately) Gentlemen, I must inform you that I 
 found the pupils of this school in no respect behind 
 those of other schools in the mastery of the prescribed 
 course of study. Not only that, but they showed un- 
 mistakably their ability to do the work the textbooks 
 are supposed to fit them for, and I only wish the 
 average school could do as well under a similar test. 
 (Applause from some spectators) I therefore can see 
 no reason to comply with your petition for the re- 
 moval of this teacher. Have you anything further to 
 say? 
 
 Mr. Bonner. (Rising and shaking fist) Your ex- 
 aminations tind to show that in orrder to larn anything 
 you shud shtudy somethin' else ! (Stalks out angrily, 
 but turns when near the door) We're licked — but — 
 we'll git this guy yit ! 
 
 (Mrs. Bonner is one of^ the first to flounce out of the 
 room, head held high and lips firmly set. The 
 others follow until only the Colonel and Jim re- 
 main.) 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 39 
 
 Col. W. Jim, the next heat is the school board elec- 
 tion. We must get the right trustees put on next year. 
 
 Jim. Is that a possibility? Aren't we sure to be 
 defeated at last? Shouldn't I quit at the end of my 
 contract? All I ever hoped for was to be allowed to 
 finish that. And is it worth the trouble? 
 
 Col. W. As for being worth while — why, this thing 
 is too big to drop. Look here, Jim. Your school fair 
 comes on next week, doesn't it? Well, go ahead. 
 Make it a good one. It will give you a chance to 
 show the folks what you're teaching their youngsters 
 besides readin' and writin' and 'rithmetic. I'm just 
 beginning to understand what you're driving at. — And 
 I like being a wild-eyed reformer more and more. 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE III 
 
 Schoolroom as before, hut with poster lettered ''Wel- 
 come to Woodruff School Fair'' prominently 
 placed. Women's zvraps strewn over school desks. 
 Baskets here and there, and everything to indicate 
 that a school fair is in progress on the school 
 grounds. 
 
 Curtain rises on Jennie, in the act of pinning on hat 
 and making ready for the drive home. 
 
 (Enter Col. W. with Professor Withers of Ames 
 Agricultural College, zvho carries a traveling bag.) 
 
 Col. W. Jennie, this is Professor Withers of Ames 
 Agricultural College. Professor Withers, my daugh-. 
 ter. (Jennie and Prof. W. exchange the usual salu- 
 tations) 
 
 Col. W. ril be back in a few moments, Jennie. 
 (Goes out) 
 
 Jennie. What do you think of our school fair, 
 Prof. Withers? . 
 
 Prof. W. The exhibition of this rural school is the 
 best I ever saw. That's a clever man, that Irwin. It 
 dehghted me to see that class of children testing and 
 weighing milk, judging grain and livestock. I hear 
 Irwin has been having some trouble with his school 
 board. 
 
 Jennie. Yes, he has. 
 
 40 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 41 
 
 Prof. W. Wasn't there an effort made to remove 
 him from his position? 
 
 Jennie. Proceedings before me to revoke his certifi- 
 cate. 
 
 Prof. W. On what grounds? 
 
 Jennie. Incompetency. But I found that his pupils 
 were really doing very well in the regular course of 
 study which he seems to be neglecting. 
 
 Prof. W. I'm glad he came out so well. 
 
 Jennie. Yes, but what do you really think of his 
 notions ? 
 
 Prof. W. Very advanced. Indeed, he's wonderful ! 
 He surprises me. I have invited him to make an 
 address at Ames during Farmers' Week. 
 
 Jennie. (Showing astonishment) He? 
 
 Prof. W. Yes, Miss Woodruf!. Mr. Irwin has 
 something that we need. Just how far he will go, just 
 what he will amount to, it is impossible to say. But 
 something must be done for the rural schools, some- 
 thing along the lines he is following. He is worth 
 encouraging. You won't make any mistake if you 
 make the most of Mr. Irwin. — Well, I must get along 
 if I am to catch that train. (They zvalk toward the 
 door together) Good-bye, Miss Woodruff. Hope you 
 will come, too, and hear Mr. Irwin, Farmers' Week. 
 I am sure he will make a hit. (They pass off the stage 
 together) 
 
 (Enter Mrs. Bonner and Mrs. Bronson in search of 
 their uraps and baskets.) 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. (Helping Mrs. Bronson on zvith her 
 coat) I don't see what there is in all this to set people 
 talking. Buttonholes ! Cookies ! Humph ! 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Well, then, I don't see anything to 
 laugh at when the young girls do the best they can to 
 make themselves capable housekeepers. I'd like to 
 see them taught how to keep house. 
 
42 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. And quite right, too, in the proper 
 place and at the proper time. (They move up to front 
 of stage and speak clearly and distinctly while putting 
 on gloves, etc.) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Of course. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. At home, now, and by their mothers. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. But take them Simms girls, now. 
 They have to have help outside their home if they are 
 ever going to be like other folks. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. Yes, and a lot more help than a 
 farmhand can give 'em in school. Pretty poor trash, 
 they, and I shouldn't wonder if there was a lot we 
 don't know about why they come here. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. As far as that goes, I don't know 
 as it's any of my business so long as they behave them- 
 selves. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. Isn't it some of your business? I 
 wonder now ! By the way Newtie keeps his eye on 
 that Simms girl, I shouldn't wonder if it might turn 
 out your business. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Pshaw ! Puppy love ! 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. You can't tell how far it'll go. I 
 tell you these schools are getting to be nothing more 
 than sparkin' bees, from the teacher down. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. That may be, but I don't see spark- 
 in' in everything boys and girls do as quick as some. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. I wonder if Colonel Woodruff would 
 be as friendly to Jim Irwin if he knew that everybody 
 says Jennie did all she could to help Jim because she 
 wants him to get along in the world, so he can marry 
 her? 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. I don't know as she is so very 
 friendly to him. Howsomever, Jim and Jennie are 
 both of age, you know. 
 
 Mrs. Bonner. Yes, but how about our school's bein' 
 ruined by a love affair? Ain't that your business and 
 mine? 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 43 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. (Turning away) Well, Ezra will 
 have the team hitched by now. I mustn't keep him 
 waiting. (Mrs. Bronson passes off stage at side op- 
 posite from that by zuhich she entered. Mrs. Bonner 
 picks up basket or bog and follows at once, looking^ 
 disgruntled) 
 
 (Enter Bonner, follozved at once by Bronson. j 
 
 Mr. Bronson. Looking for your missus, Con? 
 Mr. Bonner. Yes — but I wanted to see you, too. 
 
 (Enter Mr. Peterson. J 
 
 Mr. Peterson. Haf you seen my voman in here? 
 
 Mr. Bonner. No, Haak — but wait a minute. I 
 want to talk to you fellows. I'm a Republican and 
 you fellers are Democrats, and we've fought each other 
 about who we was to hire fer teacher. But my term 
 on the board is out this year — and when it comes to 
 electing my successor, I think we shouldn't divide on 
 party lines. 
 
 Mr. Peterson. The fight about the teacher is a 
 t'ing of the past. All our candidates got odder yobs 
 now. 
 
 Bronson. Yes, Prue Foster wouldn't take the school 
 now if she could get it. 
 
 Bonner. But, as I was sayin', I want to git this guy, 
 Jim Irwin. An' bein' the cause of his gittin' the 
 school, I'd like to be on the board to kick him off; 
 but if you fellers would like to have some one else, 
 I won't run, and if the right feller is named, I'll line 
 up what friends I got for him. 
 
 Peterson. You got no friend can git as many wotes 
 as you can. I tink you better run. 
 
 Bonner. What say, Ez? 
 
 Bronson. Suits me all right. I guess we three have 
 had our fight out and understand each other. 
 
44 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Bonner. All right, I'll take the office again. Let's 
 not start too soon, but say we begin to line up our 
 friends, to go to the school election and vote kind of 
 unanimous-like ? 
 
 Bronson. Suits me. 
 
 Peterson. Very well. 
 
 Bonner. I don't like the way Col. Woodruff acts. 
 He rounded up that hearing before the superintendent 
 that shot us all to pieces, didn't he? 
 
 Peterson. I tank not. 
 
 Bronson. Too small a matter for the Colonel to 
 monkey with. I reckon he was just interested in Jim's 
 dilemmer. Or he might have thought the decision was 
 right. Some people do, you know. 
 
 Bonner. Right ! In a pig's wrist ! I tell you, that 
 decision was crooked. 
 
 Peterson. Veil, talk of crookedness wit' Col. Wood- 
 ruff don't get very fur wit' me. 
 
 Bonner. Oh, I don't mean anything bad, Haakon, 
 but it wasn't an .all-right decision. (Walks toward 
 door) Well, anyway, we'll stick together, and if I git 
 on again we'll get rid of Jim Irwin, all right. (The 
 three go out together as if to continue conversation) 
 
 (Enter Jim. Walks up and down, looking thoughtful.) 
 
 CoL. W. (Speaking side stage, as if through open 
 'door) Hey, Jim — are you there? 
 
 Jim. Here, Colonel ! (Enter Col. W. in evident 
 good spirits) 
 
 Col. W. Your school fair's been a grand success, 
 my boy. And Jennie says the Professor from Ames is 
 bound to have you on the program at his college do- 
 ings ! — Good for you, Jim ! 
 
 Jim. Oh, what's the good ? The trustees here don't 
 believe in me yet. Peterson and Bronson seem rather 
 encouraging — but Bonner — why, I met him just now — 
 and he scarcely spoke ! 
 
THE BROWN ?.IOUSE 45 
 
 Col. W. I saw him doing some campaigning to- 
 day. He expects to get on the school board again. 
 
 Jim. Oh, 'I suppose so. 
 
 Col. W. Well, what shall we do about it? 
 
 Jim. If the people want him 
 
 Col. W. The people must have a choice offered to 
 them, or how can you or any man tell what they want ? 
 How can they tell themselves? I think that it's up to 
 us to see that the people have a chance to decide. It's 
 really Bonner against Jim Irwin. 
 
 Jim. That's rather startling, but I suppose it's true. 
 And much chance Jim Irwin has ! 
 
 Col. W. I calculate that what you need is a cham- 
 pion. 
 
 Jim. To do what? 
 
 Col. W. To take that office away from Bonner. 
 
 Jim. Who can do that? 
 
 Col. W. Well, I'm free to say I don't know that 
 any one can, but I'm willing to try. I think that in 
 about a week I shall pass the word around that I'd 
 like to serve my country on the school board. Who 
 wants to be school trustee? It's a post of no profit, 
 very little honor, and much vexation. And yet there 
 are always men who covet such positions. And gen- 
 erally they are men with no interest in education and 
 no fondness for it. I think I'll try for it, Jim. 
 
 Jim. Even then they'd be two to one, Colonel. 
 
 CoL. W. Maybe, and maybe not. That would have* 
 to be figured on. A cracked log splits easy. 
 
 Jim. Anyhow, what's the use? I shan't be disturbed 
 this year — and after that, what's the use? 
 
 Col. W. Why, Jim, you aren't getting short of 
 breath, are you? Do I see frost on your boots? I 
 thought you good for the mile, and you aren't turning 
 out a quarter-horse, are you? I don't know what all 
 it is you want to do, but I don't believe you can do 
 it in nine months, can you? 
 
46 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Jim. Not in nine years ! 
 
 Col. W. Well, then, let's plan for ten years. I 
 ain't going to become a reformer at my time of life as 
 a temporary job. Will you stick if we can swing the 
 thing for you? 
 
 Jim. I will! 
 
 Col. W. All right. We'll keep quiet and see how 
 many votes we can muster up at the election. How 
 many can you speak for ? 
 
 (Jim thinks for a few minutes.) 
 
 Col. W. How many can you round up? 
 Jim. I think that I can speak for myself and old 
 man Simms. 
 
 (The Colonel laughs.) 
 
 Col. W. Fine politician ! Fine politician ! Well, 
 Jim, we may get beaten in this, but if we are, let's not 
 have them going away saying they've had no fight. 
 You round up yourself and old man Simms and I'll 
 see what I can do — I'll see what I can do ! Come on 
 and climb into my buggy. I've got the team and they're, 
 in fine trim. The next heat in the race is the school 
 election. We've got to control that board next year, 
 and we'll do it. I like being a wild-eyed reformer, 
 more and more. 
 
 Curtain 
 
ACT III 
 
 Scene I 
 
 Sitting-room in Mr. Bronson's home, (See stage di- 
 rections, page 6.) Curtain rises on Mrs. Bron- 
 SON, darning socks, Fanny Bronson playing unth 
 doll. Enter Newt, looking sick. 
 
 Newt. I feel kind of funny, Mother. I think I'll 
 lie down a while. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. All right, son. Stretch out on the 
 lounge there. 
 
 (Enter Mr. Bronson and stands at side of stage, shav- 
 ing-mug and brush in hand.) 
 
 Bronson. Fanny, tell Henry to get the horse out. 
 I'm going to the schoolhouse to the election. (With- 
 draws quickly. Fanny goes^out) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. (Throzuing down needlework ab- 
 ruptly) Why, it's half -past three and the school elec- 
 tion is at four o'clock ! I must help to get your father 
 off in time. (Goes out) 
 
 Newt. (Raises himself up on his elbozv, and winks 
 at the audience) Here's where I put one over on Dad. 
 
 (Groans and acts as if in great pain. Enter FannyJ 
 
 Fanny. What's the matter, Newtie? 
 47 
 
48 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Newt. Run and tell them brother's dying. 
 
 (Fanny rushes to the door.) 
 
 Fanny. Mother, Dad, Newtie's awful sick! He 
 says he's dying! 
 
 (Mrs. Bronson rushes in, calls ner husband. Newt. 
 groans in convulsions, arms and legs drawn up, 
 muscles tense.) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. What's the matter? What's the 
 matter, boy? 
 
 Newt. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Newtie ! Newtie ! Where are you 
 in pain? Tell mother, Newtie. 
 
 Newt. Oh, I feel awful ! 
 
 Mr. Bronson. What you been eating? 
 
 Newt. Nothing. (Convulses in strong spasms, and 
 groans) 
 
 Mr. Bronson. I saw you eating dinner. 
 
 Newt. That's all I've eaten except a few raisins. 
 I was putting strychnine in 'em for the rats 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Oh, heavens ! He's poisoned ! 
 Drive for the doctor, Ezra ! Drive ! 
 
 (Mr. Bronson leaps toward the door, and as he passes 
 out he shouts, ''Gizre him mustard and water!" ) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Fanny, run over for Mr. and Mrs. 
 Peterson. Tell them to come right away. 
 
 (Newt, groans and rolls about. Mrs. Bronson goes 
 to the kitchen — brings back mustard tin, glass, 
 etc.) Enter Mr. and Mrs. Peterson and Fanny.) 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. Just help me get him into the bed- 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 49 
 
 room, Mr. Peterson I've got mustard and water. 
 We're afraid he's poisoned. 
 
 (Mr. Peterson and Mrs. Bronson support Newt, and 
 they go off the stage. Mrs. Peterson and Fanny 
 cross the stage hurriedly several times, carrying 
 glasses of water, hot-zvater bags, basin, etc. Mr. 
 Peterson returns to the sitting-room, looking wor- 
 ried.) 
 
 ,. Mr. Peterson. The school election vill be over, — 
 but I tank I can't leave that voman alone vith that 
 sick poy. 
 
 (Mr. Peterson walks up and down. Looks out of 
 door or windozv. Lights pipe. Fidgets about.) 
 
 Mr. Peterson. I vish that doctor vould come. 
 (Looks at watch.) Veil, it's too late for the school elec- 
 tion now. 
 
 {Enter Newt., supported by his mother and Mrs. 
 Peterson. J 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. He says he'd rather lie out here 
 now. He's very weak. I wish the doctor would come. 
 
 (Mrs. Bronson and Mrs. Peterson fuss about New- 
 tie, tucking him up zmth cushions and comforters. 
 Mr. Peterson paces up and dozmi uneasily, 
 Fanny hovers about excitedly.) 
 
 Fanny. There's the doctor! There's the doctor! 
 I hear him. 
 
 (Noise outside. Doors opening. Hurried footsteps. 
 Enter the doctor and Mr. Bronson.) 
 
50 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Doctor. What's all this? How are you feeling, 
 Newt.? Any pain? 
 
 Newt. I'm all right. Don't let Mother give me 
 any more of that nasty stuff ! 
 
 Doctor. No, but if you don't tell me just what 
 you've been eating, and doing, and pulling off on us, 
 I'll use this ! (Shows huge stomach-pump) 
 
 Newt. {Faintly) What'll you do with that? 
 
 Doc. I'll put this down into your hold and unload 
 you — that's what I'll do. 
 
 Newt. Is the election over, Doc? (Rises to sitting 
 posture) 
 
 Doctor. Yes. 
 
 Newt. Who's elected? 
 
 Doctor. Colonel Woodruff. Vote was 12 to 11. 
 
 Newt. {Jumps iip)^ Hooray! Hooray! The 
 Colonel's elected ! The Colonel's elected ! Well, Dad, 
 I suppose you'll be sore, but the only way I could 
 see to get in half a vote for Col. Woodruff was to get 
 poisoned and send you after the doctor. If you'd 
 gone it would 'a' been a tie, anyhov/, and likely you'd 
 'a* persuaded somebody to change to Bonner. That's 
 what's the matter with me. I killed your vote. Now 
 you can do whatever you like to me — ^but Vm sorry I 
 scared mother. 
 
 (Bronson makes as if to seise Newt., who moves 
 away. Laughter and amusement on the part of 
 the others. Bronson follows Newt, up, and 
 takes him by the throat, but not roughly.) 
 
 Newt. Don't pinch. Dad! Tve been using that 
 neck and it's tired! 
 
 Bronson. (Shaking Newt.) Why, you darned 
 infernal little fool ! IVe a notion to take a hame-strap 
 to you! If one or both of them horses is hurt by 
 the run I gave them, I'll lick you within an inch of 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 51 
 
 your life! I wouldn't want to drive a good horse to 
 death for any young hoodlum like you! And you 
 scared your mother half to death. 
 
 (During this speech Mr. and Mrs. Peterson and the 
 Doctor show amusement, Fanny dances about, 
 wide-eyed. The Doctor picks up his hat, and 
 Bronson, seeing this, turns to him.) 
 
 Bronson. All right, Doc. How much do I owe 
 you? (They pass off the stage together) 
 
 (Newt, makes sign to Fanny, and they sneak off to- 
 gether. Mr. and Mrs. Peterson talk zvith Mrs. 
 Bronson. j 
 
 Peterson. Veil, I'm glad the Colonel vas elected. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. So am I. Ez had promised he 
 would vote for Bonner, but I believe he'd rather have 
 the Colonel in. Bonner won't give in, but Ezra and 
 I are beginning to think that Jim's ideas may be all 
 right. I liked that there school fair. 
 
 Mrs. Peterson. Yes, and did you hear that Jim 
 is going to Ames next week ? That professor that was 
 judgin' is goin' to liaf Jim gif a speech before all 
 hands ! Veil, veil ! 
 
 Mr. Peterson. Ve must get home now. The vife 
 left the churning ven Fanny called. 
 
 Mrs. Bronson. (Seeing them^ to the door) It was 
 good of you to come. I was scared ! That young 
 rascal ! 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE II 
 
 Colonel Woodruff's sitting-room. 
 
 Curtain rises on Colonel Woodruff, occupied in read- 
 ing or writing. Gets up — stretches arms — walks 
 about — goes to side of stage as if looking out of 
 the window. Looks at watch. Looks out several 
 times during next speech — and walks about impa- 
 tiently. 
 
 Col. W. Seems to me Jennie's had time to be here 
 now, unless that train's very late, I wonder how Jim 
 got along? I'd like to have been there myself. I'm 
 afraid poor old Jim would fall down on it. It's no 
 easy thing to talk to a big crowd at a college conven- 
 tion, but I hope he got his ideas over to them. I won- 
 der what's keeping Jennie, anyway? — Oh, here she is 
 at last! 
 
 (Enter Jennie in traveling attire, with bag.) 
 
 Col. W. Hello, Jennie, girl ! Tell us all about it. 
 
 Jennie. Well, when Jim began I thought he was 
 going to make a failure of it. He began the speech 
 he had committed to memory, and then he lost his 
 way, and couldn't remember it. He became so con- 
 fused and tried to find the pages he had written out. 
 He couldn't find the place in the pages, and for a 
 
 52 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 53 
 
 minute or two I thought he was swamped. I just felt 
 sick ! Then he straightened up, stuffed the paper into 
 his pocket, and began to talk just as if he were talking 
 to the people here at home. Everyone paid the closest 
 attention. You could have heard a pin drop ! And 
 when he finished there was a great burst of applause. 
 Ever so many people went forward to shake hands 
 with him. We all had dinner together afterwards — 
 Jim and I, and Professor Withers and the Principal 
 of the Normal School. An old man from Waterloo 
 County offered Jim a position to teach their school — a 
 two-roomed school. He wants Jim to be principal. 
 But there's Jim coming up the lane. He'll tell you 
 about it himself. I must go and get some supper. 
 
 (Jennie goes out. Enter Jim. Colonel shakes 
 hands.) 
 
 Colonel W. Well done, Jim ! Congratulations ! 
 Good for you ! But what's this I've heard, young 
 man ? — Some old chap wanting to get you away from 
 us 
 
 Jim. (Laughing) Oh ! Mr. Hofmeyer. Well, he's 
 made me an offer. 
 
 Col. W. What'd he offer? Tell me what he said. 
 
 Jim. He came up to me after I had finished speak- 
 ing and said, "Do you teach the kind of school you lay 
 out in your talk?" I said, "I try to, sir." "Well," 
 said he, "that's the kind of education I believe in. I 
 kep' school back in Pennsylvania, fifty years ago, and 
 I made the scholars measure things and weigh things, 
 and apply their studies as far as I could. I b'lieve 
 your idea of teaching would please our folks. What 
 d'ye say to comin' down and teachin' our school ? It's 
 a two-room affair, and I was made a committee of one 
 to find a teacher." He went on and told me they'd 
 give me $150 a month, and I'd be principal. 
 
54 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 Col. W. (Eagerly and anxiously) Did you make 
 any deal with him ? 
 
 Jim. No, I told him I'd think it over. He said he'd 
 write me a formal offer and perhaps offer more sal- 
 ary. 
 
 Col. W. I wonder what Bonner and the others 
 will say? 
 
 Jim. Oh! The trustees were down at Ames. I 
 met Bonner afterwards. He surprised me. 
 
 CoL. W. You don't say so? What'd he say? 
 
 Jim. He asked me what kind of proposition Mr. 
 Hofmeyer made to me. He said Hofmeyer asked him 
 about me, and that he, Bonner, told him I was a crack- 
 erjack. Just imagine Bonner telling anyone that I 
 was a crackerjack! 
 
 CoL. W. He said he'd get you yet, Jim ! 
 
 (Jim laughs. Col. W. rises and zvalks about ex- 
 citedly.) 
 
 Col. W. Jim, in my capacity of wild-eyed reformer, 
 I've made up my mind that the first four miles of the 
 trip is to make the country teacher's job bigger. It's 
 got to be a man's size, or we can't get real men and 
 women to stay at the work. 
 
 Jim. That's a statesman-like way of putting it. 
 
 Col. W. Well, don't you turn down the Waterloo 
 County job until we have a chance to see what we 
 can do. I'll get some kind of meeting together, and 
 what I want you to do is to use this offer as a club 
 over this helpless school district. What we need is 
 to be held up ! Hold us up, Jim I 
 
 Jim. T can't. Colonel. 
 
 Col. W. Yes, you can, too! Will you try It? 
 
 Jim. I want to treat everybody fairly, — Mr. Hof- 
 meyer included. I don't know what to do, hardly. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 5^ 
 
 Col. W. Well, I'll get the meeting together, and in 
 the meantime, think of what I've said, will you? 
 
 Jim. All right. Thank you, Colonel. I must get on 
 now. Mother'll be waiting for me. Good-night. 
 
 (Colonel sits down as if to zvrite out notices for the 
 meeting.) 
 
 Curtain. 
 
ACT IV 
 
 Scene I 
 
 Schoolroom. Curtain rises on meeting in progress. 
 All the characters in the play present. As many 
 additional spectators as possible, to convey the idea 
 of a crowded schoolroom. Mr. Bronson presid- 
 ing, and standing speaking at rise of the curtain. 
 
 Mr. Bronson. All that has been said, so far, shows 
 that us folks has found out that this here school under 
 Jim Irwin is doing more for our youngsters — and for 
 all of us, for that matter — than it ever did before. 
 Now, the question is, can we do anything to meet the 
 offer he has got from Waterloo County? Is there 
 any one that's got anything further to say? 
 
 Mr. Simms. (Rising, and speaking zvith great lack 
 of confidence at first) Ah ain't no speaker, but Ah 
 cain't set here an' be quiet an' go home an' face my 
 ole woman an' my boys an' gyuls withouten sayin' a 
 word fo' the best friend any family evah had, Mr. Jim 
 Irwin. (Applause) Ah owe it to him that Ah've got 
 the right to speak in this m.eetin' at all. Gentlemen, 
 we all owe everything to Mr. Jim Irwin ! Maybe Ah'U 
 be thought forward to speak hyah, bein' as Ah ain't no 
 learnin' an' some may think Ah don't pay no taxes ; 
 but it will be overlooked. Ah reckon, seein' as how we've 
 took the Blanchard farm, a hunderd an' sixty acres, 
 for five yeahs, an' move in a week from Sat'day. We 
 pay taxes in our rent, Ah reckon, an' howsomever that 
 
 56 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 57 
 
 may be, AhVe come to feel that you all won't think 
 hard of me if Ah speak what we feel so strong about 
 Mr. Jim Irwin. 
 
 Voices. Go on ! You've got as good a right as any- 
 one. You're all right, old man! 
 
 SiMMS. Ah thank you all kindly. Gentlemen and 
 ladies, when Mr. Jim Irwin found us, we was scan- 
 dalous pore, an' we was wuss'n pore — we was low- 
 down. (Cries of ''No! No!'') Yes, we was, becauz 
 what's respectable where we come from is one thing, 
 whar all the folks is pore, but when a man gets in a 
 new place, he's got to lift hisself up to what folks does 
 where he's come to, or he'll fall to the bottom of what 
 there is in that there community — an' maybe he'll make 
 a place fer himse'f lower'n anybody else. Where we 
 come from, we was good people, becuz we done the 
 best we could an' the best any one done ; but hyah, we 
 was low-down people becuz we hated the people that 
 had mo' learnin', mo' land, mo' money, an' mo friends 
 than what we had. My little gyuhls wasn't respecta- 
 ble in their clothes. My children was ignerant, an' 
 triflin', but I was the most triflin' of all. Ah'll leave 
 it to Colonel W^oodrufif if I was good fer a plug of 
 terbacker, or a bakin' of flour, at any sto' in the county. 
 Was I, Colonel? Wasn't I perfectly wuthless and tri- 
 flin'? 
 
 Col. W. I guess you were, Mr. Simms. I guess 
 you were, but 
 
 Simms. Thankee. I sho' was! Thankee kindly. 
 An' now, what am I good fer? Cain't I get anything 
 I want at the stores? Cain't I git a little money at 
 the bank, if I got to have it? 
 
 CoL. W. You're just as good as any man in the 
 district. You don't ask for more than you can pay, 
 and you can get all you ask. 
 
 Simms. Thankee. What Ah tell you is right, ladies 
 and gentlemen. An' what has made the change in us, 
 
58 THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 ladies and gentlemen? It's the wuk of Mr. Jim Irwin 
 with my boy Raymond, the best boy any man evah had, 
 and my gyuhl, Calista, an' Buddy an' Jinnie, an' with 
 me an' my ole woman. He showed us how to get a 
 toe-holt into this new kentry. He teached the children 
 what orto be did by a renting farmer. He done lifted 
 us up, an' made people of us. He done showed us 
 that you all is good people an' not what we thought 
 you was. Outen what he learned in school, my boy 
 Raymond an' me made as good crops as we could last 
 summer, an' done right much wuk outside. We got 
 the name of bein' good farmers and good wukkers, an' 
 when Mr. Blanchard moved to town, he said he was 
 glad to give us his fine farm for five yeahs. Now, see 
 what Mr. Jim Irwin has done for us ! We are livin' 
 in a house with two chimleys an' a swimmin' tub made 
 outen crock'ryware. We'll be in debt a whole lot — 
 on'y we owe it to Mr. Jim Irwin that we got the credit 
 to go in debt, with, an' the courage to go on and git 
 out ag'in! (Applause) Ah could afford to pay Mr. 
 Jim Irwin's salary myse'f if Ah could. An' there's 
 enough men hyah to-night that say they've been money- 
 •he'ped by his teachin' the school, to make up mo' 
 than his wages. Let's not let Mr. Jim Irwin go, neigh- 
 bors ! Let's not let him go ! 
 
 (Colonel Woodruff rises.) 
 
 Col. W. Mr. Irwin is here, ladies and gentlemen, 
 and I move that we hear from him as to what we can 
 do to meet the offer of our friends in Waterloo County, 
 who have heard of his good work, and want him to 
 work for them; but before I yield the floor I want 
 to say that this meeting has been worth while just 
 to have been the occasion of our all becoming better 
 acquainted with our friend and neighbor, Mr. Simms. 
 Whatever may have been the lack of understanding. 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 59 
 
 on our part, of his qualities, they were all cleared up 
 by that speech of his — the best I have ever heard in 
 this neighborhood. (Applause) Mr. Chairman, if 
 there is no objection, we will hear from our well- 
 known citizen, whose growing fame is more remark- 
 able for the fact that it has been gained as a country 
 schoolmaster. I need not add that I refer to Mr. 
 James E. Irwin. (Applause) 
 
 Jim. Friends and neighbors, you ask me to say to 
 you what I want you to do. I want you to do what 
 you want to do — nothing more nor less. Last year I 
 was glad to be tolerated here; and the only change 
 in the situation lies in the fact that I have another 
 place offered me — unless there has been a change in 
 your feelings toward me and my work. I hope there 
 has been ; for I know my work is good now, whereas 
 I only hoped it w^as then. 
 
 Bonner. Sure it is ! Tell us what you want, Jim ! 
 
 Jim. What do I want ? More than anything else, I 
 want such meetings as this — often — and a place to hold 
 them. If I stay in the Woodruff district, I want this 
 meeting to effect a permanent organization to work 
 with me. You are gathered here to decide what you'll 
 do about the small matter of keeping me at work as 
 your hired man. If I'm to be your hired man, I want 
 a boss in the shape of a civic organization the object 
 of which shall be to put the whole community at school 
 and to boss me in my work for the w^hole community. 
 
 Peterson. Dat sounds good ! W^e'U do that ! 
 
 Jim. Then I want you to work out a building scheme 
 for the school. I want you to build as freely for your 
 school, for your children, as for your cattle and horses 
 and hogs. I want some manual training equipment 
 for wood-working and metal-working, with a black- 
 smith shop and wagon shop, in which the boys may 
 learn to shoe horses and repair tools. I want a place 
 where the girls can learn to cook, keep house, take 
 
6o THE BROWN MOUSE 
 
 care of babies, sew, and learn to be wives and mothers. 
 I want to do work in poultry according to the most 
 modern breeding discoveries, and I want your co- 
 operation in that, and a poultry plant somewhere in 
 the district. I want a small laboratory in which we 
 can work on seeds, pests, sprays, soils, feeds, and the 
 like ; for the education of your children must come 
 out of these things. I want some land for actual farm- 
 ing, and a house on it in which your teacher may live. 
 And I want a physician here once in a while to ex- 
 amine the children as to their health, and a dentist to 
 look after their teeth and teach them how to care for 
 them. Also an oculist to examine their eyes. And 
 when Bettina Hansen comes home from the hospital 
 as a trained nurse, I want her to have a job as visiting 
 nurse right here in the Woodruff district. And I 
 want a first-class phonograph with records of the 
 world's best music — and a moving-picture machine — 
 everything to make this school the social centre as well 
 as the educational centre of the countryside. I want 
 all these things, and more. But I don't expect them all 
 at once. I know that this district is too small to do 
 all of these things, and therefore I am going to tell 
 you of another want which will tempt you to think 
 that I am crazy. I want a bigger district — one that 
 will give us the financial strength to carry out the 
 program I have sketched. Let us consolidate several 
 of our small districts into a big one; and the taxes it 
 will require from you will make each of you more 
 money than if invested in farm equipment. This may 
 be a presumptuous thing for me to propose ; but the 
 whole situation here to-night is presumptuous on my 
 part, I fear. If 3^ou think so, let me go ; but if you 
 don't, please keep this meeting together in a permanent 
 organization of grown-up members of the Woodruff 
 School, and by pulling together, you can do these 
 things — all of them, and many more — and you'll make 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 6r 
 
 the Woodruff district a good place to live in and die 
 in — and I shall be proud to live and die in it at your 
 service, as the neighborhood's hired man ! 
 
 (A long hush. Applause started by Jennie. Storm 
 of applause.) 
 
 Curtain 
 
SCENE II 
 
 Schoolroom, just after meeting is over. Colonel, 
 Jennie and Jim. 
 
 Col. W. Well, Jim, you've carried the day. It's 
 been a great meeting. They can't do all you ask just 
 right away — but they'll do just as you want finally. I 
 am proud that we're to be Consolidated School Dis- 
 trict Number One. Well, I'll get the horses ready. 
 You'll drive home with us, Jim. (Colonel goes out) 
 
 Jennie. You silly boy ! You talked about the good 
 of the school all of the time, and never said a word 
 about your own salary ! 
 
 Jim. Oh! I forgot all about it! I haven't thought 
 about that at all, Jennie. 
 
 Jennie. Jim, you need a guardian ! 
 
 Jim. I know it, Jennie. And I know whom I 
 want. 
 
 (Jennie looks uneasy, etc.) 
 
 Jim. (Earnestly, taking Jennie's hands) Jennie, 
 you told me I must try to be something better than a 
 hired man, but I'm still that, the neighborhood's hired 
 man. But you see, don't you, that it's a man's job, 
 and more than a man's job? I'll have salary enough 
 now to be able to marry. I've loved you since we were 
 children at school. Could you, oh, could you, Jennie 
 — marry me — a hired man — the neighborhood's hired 
 man? 
 
 62 
 
THE BROWN MOUSE 63 
 
 Jennie. I'm proud of you, Jim, and I'd like to help 
 
 — and — and Yes — I could marry a hired man 
 
 when the hired man's you ! 
 
 (Enter the Colonel. Stands a motnent, and stares as 
 Jim holds Jennie^'s hands.) 
 
 Col. W. Jennie ! Jennie ! so you've lined Jim up, 
 have you? Well, don't forget he's a Broivn Mouse — 
 and these Brown Mice are the very devil to control ! 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 
 
 The famous comedy in three acts, b}- Anne Warner. T males, 6 
 females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2^4 hours. 
 
 This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt Mary," 
 "Jade," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England ancient maid of all work; 
 "Jack's" three chums; the Girl "Jack" loves; "Joshua," Aunt Mary's hired 
 man, etc. 
 
 "Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on tour for over 
 two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever produced. We stronely 
 recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. 
 
 A pleasing comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, author of 
 "The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males. 6 females. One interior scene. Cos- 
 tumes modern. Plays 2}^ hours. 
 
 Mr. Smith chose for his initial comedy the complications arising from the 
 ndeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude peopled by hyphenated 
 ames— a theme permitting innumerable com.plications, according to the spirit of 
 ithe writer. 
 
 \ This mosf successful comedy was toured for several season? by Mrs. Fiske 
 with enormous success. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 
 
 ^ A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and William 
 ^Morris. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene stands throughout the 
 ^hree acts. Costumes modern. Plays 3^^ hours. 
 
 f "Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is an abund- 
 "ance of fun without any taint of impropriety or any element of offence. As 
 'noticed by Sir Walter Scott, "'Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we 
 practice to deceive!" 
 
 : There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from the time the curtain 
 irises until it makes the final drop tlie fun is fast and furious. A very exceptional 
 =farce. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 THE NEW CO-ED. 
 
 A comedy in four acts^ by Marie Doran, author of "Tempest and 
 Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 males, 7 females, though any number of 
 bo3'S and girls can be introduced in the action of the play. One interior 
 and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one interior scene. 
 Costumes modern. Time, al^out 2 hours. 
 
 The theme of tbis play is the comincr ot n new student to the college, her 
 reception by the scholars, her trialr- and final triumph. 
 
 There are three especially good girl.^' parts, Letty, Madge and Estelle, but 
 the others have plenty to do. "Punch" DooHttle and George Washington Watts, 
 a gentleman of color, are two particularly good comedy characters. We can 
 strongly recommend "The New Co- Ed" to high schools' and amateurs. 
 
 Price, 30 Cents. 
 
 (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
 2 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 The Bro^\ 
 
 016 103 754 
 
 A STORY OP 
 RURAL LIFE AND' EDUCATION 
 
 By HERBERT QUICK 
 
 rHE BROWN MOUSE, the novel from which the 
 ■lay is adapted, Hghts up the whole field of rural 
 Miiication as nothing else can do. 
 
 M. J. ABBEY, Professor of Agricultural Education, West Virginia 
 University, says of it: 
 
 "Few men are able to write a book which makes its appeal from 
 two standpoints — the novel and informational. To the person who is 
 interested in 'tracing the success of an interesting character, The 
 Brown Mouse will appeal strongly. The book is of particular 
 interest to me from its educational standpoint." 
 
 DR. W. J. BLACK, President of the Manitoba Agricultural College, 
 Winnipeg, Canada: 
 
 "The Brown Mouse is one of the best combinations of good humor 
 and common sense I have examined for some time. Every one in 
 Canada and the United States interested in the question of better 
 education for the open country should read it." 
 
 F. B. JENKS, Professor of Agricultural Education, University of 
 Vermont: 
 
 "It shows so clearly what a person with even limited education can 
 do when he believes in farming, has a vision of what coui)try life 
 ought to be and recognizes the opportunities which the rural school 
 presents." 
 
 ROBERT H. WILSON, State Superintendent of School*, Oklahoma 
 City, Okla.: 
 
 "Every teacher in the state of Oklahoma ought to read The. Brown 
 Mouse. It comes nearer to presenting a new education, together 
 with the needs of the rhral schools, than any book I have ever 
 rea'd. Nothing will do more to help bring about the rural school 
 conditions which wc are scekinrf than for the teachers to read thi 
 vohiim-." 
 
 Illustrated. Price, $1.7S 
 
 THE BOBBS.MERRTLL COMPANY 
 
 PUBI.TSHERS INDIANAPOLIS