Is"^ *0 PLAYS EXCHANGED. 
 
 M167 6»a'^gaca<a <a<a<ac3QteQgaE)es>g 
 
 Copy 1 
 
 imzK^ Com ON 
 
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 A FULL HOUSE 
 
 Price, 15 Cents 
 
 '^^ffO^to-^^^ 
 
 COPYRIGHT. 1889. BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
 
Ji* us. Pitiero's Plays 
 
 TEIV AMATAMC I^mtm te 13tfw Aets. 8«v«n males, &▼• te. 
 inCi ikaiiiJL\jn*3 mtdm. OMtomes, modemt •oeoery, soi 
 ]plays a f aU 
 
 TUV rAQIUlTT ASniKnTO T^uxm In Foor Acta. Tern 
 inXt CAlJlrlllil iliinidlEA malea, nine females. Ooe 
 fames, modern soolety; ewamrj, Cttree isterion. Pla^ a foil erenlng* 
 
 nAMHV TIfnr Faroe in Three Aets. Seven malee, four f*- 
 l/Alil/I l/IVIW males. OosCmnes, modern; sooiery, two tnt** 
 lion. Plays two hours and a baK. 
 
 mfflAY I nun niIFY OomedytoFoorAets. Fom-males, 
 l^iAI LU£V£/ V£tl£JV ten females. Oostnmes, modern; 
 •esBory, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 
 
 Uf C UniTCI? fM flDnrD Oomedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
 WUD ilVVoL in \JJ\ULJ\ fotir females. Costumes, modem; 
 scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. ^ 
 
 TUV UAQQV UAPQF Oomedy in Three Aots. Tea males, 
 InL nUODi nUIlDEi Ave females. Ooetumes. modem; 
 scenery easy. Plays two honrs and a half. 
 
 ini^ Drama in Five Aots. Seven males; seven females. Gostnmes, 
 lIWiJ modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 
 
 I AnV UniTTtfTIFITI ^^y ^ Four Acts. Eight males, sevMi 
 JLAl/fi DvlUiilirULi females. Costumes, modem; soen- 
 ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 
 
 I irrrV I^^ ^^^ ^^ Four Aots and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
 Ldai. 1 1 females. Costumes, modem; scenery complicated. 
 Plays a full evening. 
 
 TUli MAriQTPATI? Faroe in Three Aots. Twelve males, 
 inEi m/lUl»$l{WAiCi four females. Costumes, modem; 
 , all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 
 
 Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 
 
 WalUt Jl^. |?afeer Sc Company 
 
 No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston , Massachusetts 
 
A FULL HOUSE 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 
 By 
 
 DOROTHY WALDO 
 
 Author of ^^ Sylvia s Aunts ^' etc. 
 
 BOSTON 
 
 WALTER H. BAKER & CO< 
 1914 
 
A FULL HOUSE 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Mr. Hiram Jinks, the landlady s husband. 
 
 Mr. Adoniram Chase, a plain man. 
 
 Mr. Solomon Case, a retired pill manufacturer. 
 
 Mrs. Nell Jinks, a not too prosperous boarding-house keeper. 
 
 Miss Emily Brace, a maiden lady. 
 
 Annie, a maid. 
 
 Costumes.— Modern. 
 
 Time in Playing.— Thirty Minutes. 
 
 Copyright, i 914, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 
 
 ,.992-007387 
 
 §)Cl.D 37868 
 AUG 17 1914 
 
A Full House 
 
 SCENE. — An ordinary sitting-room, with a couch covered by 
 a long couch cover. 
 
 (Mrs. Nell Jinks is discovered fussing about tidying up the 
 room. A bell rijigs off stage, a door slams, and a ma?i^ s 
 voice is heard outside. Mrs. J. stops and listens.') 
 
 Mrs. J. That must be Hiram back from his trip. I won- 
 der what he's got in his bag this time — four-poster bedstead, 
 like as not. That's about the only thing he hasn't brought me 
 so far, — that and a canary. And what's the use of filling up a 
 boarding-house like this with antique furniture if you've got no 
 boarders to sleep in your beds, or eat off your tables? I'm 
 just discouraged 
 
 Efiter Mr. Hiram Jinks, heavily laden with bags and bundles. 
 
 Mr. J. Hullo, Nell ! {He kisses her, almost hitting her 
 with bundles in the process.) Fine trip this time ! An' say — 
 what do you think I picked up in a store up at Riverton 
 Village ? {Sits, and begins pulling open packages.) 
 
 Mrs. J. {also sitting, discouraged and uninterested). Oh, 
 I don't know. I was just saying it would probably be a 
 canary. 
 
 Mr. J. {chuckling). Well, what I got's a bird, all right. 
 It's just the nicest old bird of a clock you ever saw. There 
 aren't any works in it now and it's some scratched, but when I 
 get it fixed— well ! And all it cost me was one dollar. 
 
 Mrs. J. {crossly). You can get a good alarm clock with 
 works in it for sixty-nine cents. 
 
 Mr. J. Say, Nell, what's the matter with you, anyway? 
 Pipe bust in the cellar ? 
 
 Mrs. J. No. 
 
 Mr. J. Cook left ? 
 
 Mrs. J. Not yet. 
 
4 A FULL HOUSE 
 
 Mr. J. Mislaid the winter blankets ? 
 
 Mrs. J. Of course not. 
 
 Mr. J. Well, what is the matter then ? 
 
 Mrs. J. Matter enough, with the three best rooms in the 
 house empty, and you bringing home nothing but clocks to put 
 in them. Here are eggs two cents cheaper, and I've got a new 
 cook, and not a star boarder to take advantage of it. 
 
 Mr. J. But all the rooms on the third floor are full. 
 
 Mrs. J. Oh, those pot-boilers. I want some people who 
 will pay for fancy fixings. 
 
 Mr. J. (who has shown signs of uneasifiess during his 
 wife's last statement). By Jove, Nell, I 'most forgot! I've 
 got a fancy boarder for you — a corker — second-story front. 
 
 Mrs. J. You have ? Where is he ? 
 
 Mr. J. Well, you needn't look at my bag. He's not in 
 there. I haven't seen him myself; just talked with him over 
 the telephone. His name is Case. Solomon Case, of Riverton. 
 
 Mrs. J. Wealthy ? 
 
 Mr. J. Huh ! Inventor and owner of Case's Colossal 
 Cold Cure. 
 
 Mrs. J. Good-natured? 
 
 Mr. J. Up at Riverton Village they call him Candy Case. 
 
 Mrs. J. Well, there must be something wrong with him. 
 
 {Off stage is heard the rattle of dishes^ laughter.) 
 
 Mr. J. Not as far as I know. Only one thing he did in- 
 sist on. Said he must have quiet. Emphasized that a lot. 
 He must have his quiet. 
 
 {More disturbing sounds are heard outside.) 
 
 Mrs. J. I knew it. And listen to that noise. Probably 
 he goes to bed at eight, and takes a nap in the parlor after 
 lunch. This Bedlam is no place for him. But when's he 
 coming ? 
 
 Mr. J. I don't know exactly. He didn't say over the 
 telephone. I talked with him Wednesday, and I should think 
 he might be along most any day now. {Rises, gathering up 
 bufidles.) But I can't sit here all day. I'll go get into my old 
 duds and spade up that bit of lawn again. There's a radiator 
 out there that needs fixing too, and I might get to wash the 
 piazza 
 
 Efiter Annie. 
 
A FULL HOUSE 5 
 
 Annie. Mrs. Jinks, Mr. Chase to see you. 
 
 [JVotses of various sorts are heard outside.) 
 
 Mr. J. Talk of angels ! Guess you mean Case, don't you, 
 Annie? (^Telephone rings outside.^ There's the telephone. 
 I'll answer it. \_Exit. 
 
 Mrs. J. ingoing to window). And there comes the express- 
 man. Annie, do make him keep quiet while he's bringing in 
 that trunk. And show Mr. Case up here before you let the 
 man in. {Exit Annie. Noises of laughter and talking are 
 heard outside. Mrs. J. speaks off stage.) Girls! You must 
 be quiet. I'm trying to land a crank who wants quiet. (JSfoise 
 heard outside window.) Hi Jinks, you just can't wash that 
 piazza now. Didn't you tell me yourself the man wanted 
 quiet? {^She turns back into room.) I wonder howl better be 
 when he comes in, reading or sewing a little. Reading, I 
 think. {She sits, jumps up again ^ and speaks off stage.) 
 Annie, when the laundry man comes tell him I want four 
 double sheets. He only brought three. And for pity's sake 
 
 smother that noise for the next half hour Oh ! Here the 
 
 creature comes. Let's see. What was I reading? ''Power 
 Through Repose." Oh ! 
 
 (She sinks quietly info a chair as Mr. Adoniram Chase 
 enters.) 
 
 Mr. Chase. Ah ! Mrs. Jinks, I believe ? 
 
 Mrs. J. {languidly laying aside book and smiling at him). 
 Ah, yes ! Mr. Case. I am so glad to welcome you to our 
 quiet home, Mr. Case. 
 
 {Noise of laughter, hastily stifled, heard outside. Mrs. J. 
 listens angrily y Mr. Chase interestedly.) 
 
 Mr. Chase. I understand you may be able to give me a 
 
 place where I can have {Frightful pounding outside , 
 
 which drowns his words. When it dies down he begins again. ) 
 I understand you may be able to give me a place where I 
 can 
 
 {The noise starts up again. Mr. Chase pauses, smiling 
 good-naturedly. ) 
 
 Mrs. J. {aside). Hi Jinks, that radiator ! {To Mr. Chase.) 
 Excuse me one moment. I think there must be something 
 
6 A FULL HOUSE 
 
 quite out of place to occasion such a disturbance in our usually 
 peaceful domicile. Will you rest quietly here one moment, 
 Mr. Case? \_Exit. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Queer person. Either she's got an impedi- 
 ment in her speech or else she thinks I'm another chap. Oh, 
 well, it's all one. Chase — Case — Case — Chase. Who cares, 
 as long as I find a room? {He looks about Jwn.') Looks 
 pretty decent here. Funny, now, I just happened to see that 
 <'ad" in the paper, and 1 said, ''Sounds nice. Sure as I'm 
 Adoniram Chase, Esq., of Athol, Mass., I'll try it." And 1 
 hopped on the car, and here I am in one-half hour from read- 
 ing advertisement. {He tries the chairs. Then he dusts the 
 rungs with his handlzer chief and looks at it.) Yep. Looks 
 clean, and sounded cheerful when I came in. Must have 
 plenty of jollity, say I, to help forget. All A. Chase wants is 
 some good gay noise, a clean towel, a good bed, and three 
 square meals a day. 
 
 Eiiter Mrs. J. 
 
 Mrs. J. (suavely). We can surely give you those. 
 Mr. Chase, Good, good. Beans Saturday night? 
 
 Mrs. J. Certainly; and 
 
 Mr. Chase. Sheets long enough ? 
 Mrs. J. {measuring hitn with her eye). Oh, I hope so ! 
 Mr. Chase. What kind of bed ? 
 
 Mrs. J. Oh, a very nice kind. Quite new. One like this 
 here. 
 
 {She indicates couch, a?id both go and stand by it.) 
 
 Mr. Chase {looking at it doubtfully, drawing out handker- 
 chief, and 7neasuri7ig it deliberately ; then he shakes his head). 
 'Twon't do. I might as well sleep in a cracker-box. 1 must 
 have my spread. 
 
 Mrs. J. Oh, that's wide enough. It's folded up now. 
 
 Mr. Chase {horrified). Folding-bed? No, thank you ! 
 
 Mrs. J. Oh, well, it doesn't exactly fold ; it just sort of 
 bends lengthways. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Madam, I'm no more willing to be smothered 
 lengthways than I am endways. 
 
 Mrs. J. {eagerly). Oh, but it can't possibly smother you. 
 Just see how simply it works, and how safe it is. 
 
 {She is about to show him, when Annie enters.) 
 
A FULL HOUSE 
 
 Annie. Vegetable man has come, Mrs. Jinks. [Extf. 
 
 Mrs J. Oh, I'll be there. You see, Mr. Case, you just 
 press on that part there {indicating one end of the couch 
 vaguely), and give a little shove up here {^pointing indefinitely 
 at another part), and it just glides open, and you unfold the 
 mattress. It's quite simple— j^st press and push. 
 
 {She drifts out, still vaguely directing.) 
 
 Mr. Chase {staring after her). Isn't that clear and dis- 
 tinct, now ? Press and push ! Where'll I press, and where 
 I Dush ? {He lifts the couch cover, examining ) Well 1* irst 
 I'll try a push. {He shoves on one end, a?id couch rolls away 
 from him.) Well, at that rate, I'd have no bed at all. 
 Where's the place you press? How does the old thmg open, 
 anyhow ? 
 
 (He crawls behind or under couch to investigate, disappearing 
 from sight just as Mrs. J. and Annie enter; from differ- 
 ent doors, if possible.) 
 
 Annie. Mrs. Jinks, a lady to see you. 
 
 {She holds out card.) 
 
 U.^^.\. {reading card). Miss Brace. Never heard of her. 
 Perhaps she's a new boarder. Well, show her m, Annie. 
 (^^// Annie.) Where has that man gone ? Skipped, i sup- 
 pose. 1 knew that noise would do it. I suppose I ought to be 
 thankful he didn't take the silver with him. 
 
 Enter Miss Emily Brace. 
 
 yix^^^. {gushing). Mrs. Jinks? So ^.^^^"^^ V ^^ 'Iv 
 your lovely house. You may have heard of me~-Miss Emily 
 Brace. Eni. Brace they used to call me m the days when I 
 was a gay gazelle. But that was all before— before— ah, me ! 
 
 {She wipes her eyes.) 
 
 Mrs. J. {aside). A dead past ! Not for me, unless she's 
 rich Anvhow. 1 don't think I like her. 
 
 Miss b'^ Ah me ! Once, dear Mrs. Jinks, I fnsked my heed- 
 less way through life ; but now 1 droop along my decl.mng path- 
 way. 
 
A FULL HOUSE 
 
 {Here Mr. Chase sticks head out from under the bed with 
 every evidence of astonishment. During the next few 
 minutes he keeps looking out every time Miss B. speaks.) 
 
 Mrs. J. Very sad, but — — 
 
 Miss B. Hear my little tale. {They both sit, and Miss B. 
 draws her chair continually closer to Mrs. J.) Myself, piquant, 
 I may say sparkling. My Galahad, serious, earnest, seeking 
 the upright in life. My frivolous nature, — a too — too trifling 
 jesi, and I am left blighted to drag my emaciated form to a 
 spinster's grave. 
 
 Mrs. J. {aside). Does she think this house is a spinster's 
 grave? I'm sure I don't like her. {To Miss B.) But Miss 
 Brace 
 
 Miss B. Oh, call me Em. — it seems so cozy. I confide in 
 you, Mrs. Jinks. I confide in you. From that sad day I for- 
 swore man. Never again to speak to man ! Never again to 
 have anything to do with man ! ( With sudden change of to?ie.) 
 Are there any men in this house ? 
 
 Mrs. J. {reluctantly). Well, no; not many. 
 
 Miss B. Then this shall be my home. {Sadly.) Yes, Mrs. 
 Jinks. He went from me. 
 
 Mrs. J. {very sympathetically as she realizes she may have 
 a new boarder). He died ? 
 
 Miss B. {behind handkerchief). He was taken from me. 
 
 (Mrs. J. is just about to speak when Mr, J. comes to door.) 
 Mr. J. Telephone for you, Nell. 
 
 (Mrs. J. goes out hastily. Miss B. stops Mr. J. as he turns 
 
 to go out.) 
 
 Miss B. I thought there were no men in this house. What 
 are you, the Buttons? 
 
 Mr. J. Why, yes, daytimes. 
 
 Miss B. Daytimes ? And what may you be night-times, my 
 good man? 
 
 Mr. J. Well, whenever Mrs. Jinks comes in from a party 
 in one of those style new dresses, I'm the unbuttons. 
 
 {^ExitMK. J., chuckling. 
 
 {As Mr. J. goes out, Mr. Chase's feet appear from under 
 the bed.) 
 
A FULL HOUSE 9 
 
 Miss B. My goodness ! What was that ? Man under the 
 bed at last ! Where shall I go ? What shall I do ? No men ! 
 Men hidden everywhere. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Emily, Emily ! 
 
 {^He is seen struggling to get out.) 
 
 Miss B. Don't speak to me. Go away. 
 Mr. Chase. Emily, help. It's me, Em. 
 Miss B. Adoniram Chase. You ! 
 
 (She pulls him outj and they come downstage. She is greatly 
 flustered J a7id dabs at him vainly, trying to dust him off.) 
 
 Mr. Chase. Emily — after all these years ! 
 
 Miss B. Have you been under there all this time ? 
 
 Mr. Chase. Em. Was it true ? 
 
 Miss B. Everything's true. Nothing's true. Oh, go away. 
 Somebody might come. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Was it a joke, Em. ? You know I'm a plain 
 man, Em. I like some jokes, but I can't understand them. 
 Do you mean 
 
 Miss B. No, I'm not mean. Yes, I do mean, — I mean, — 
 oh, go back, somebody's coming. 
 
 (She tries to push him back.) 
 
 Mr. Chase. Back under the bed ? No, thank you. 
 
 Miss B. You've got to go back. Didn't you hear? I've 
 abjured you. You're dead. If you don't go back, you'll make 
 me a liar, and I'm trying to engage board. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Well, I'll be dead for sure if I go back there. 
 No, ma'am ! 
 
 Miss B. But I'll die of mortification if you don't. Now, go 
 back, and stay still till I tell you to come out. 
 
 (She shoves him back as Mr. J. enters.) 
 
 Mr. J. Will you step this way, Miss Brace ? Mrs. Jinks 
 would like to show you the rooms. {Exit Miss B. Mr. J. is 
 Just abottt to go out after her when he notices Mr. Chase' s/c?c/ 
 sticking out from itnder the bed. He turns away from it, and 
 comes doivn to front of stage.) My Lord ! What's that? A 
 burglar ! And Nell says the Brace is scared o' men. Guess I 
 better capture him now, as quick as lean. Let's see. They'll 
 be talking out there some time. I'll get my gun and land him 
 now. 
 
10 A FULL HOUSE 
 
 {^Exit from one door, as Mrs. J. and Miss B. enter from 
 
 another.^ 
 
 Mrs. J. Yes, I think you'll find that reasonable. And there 
 are no men on that floor. 
 
 {Here Mr. J. returns with his gun, which he hastily con- 
 ceals at sight of the ladies.) 
 
 Mr. J. Oh ! I didn't know you'd be coming so soon. 
 {Aside.) 1 got to do it, or they'll discover him. {To 
 Miss B.) Miss Brace, do I understand you don't like men ? 
 
 Miss B. It's not that I do not like them. For me they do 
 not exist. {She talks to Mrs. J.) 
 
 Mr. J. (aside). Do I look like a dead one? She's apt to 
 find two of us existing here in a minute, all right. {Aloud.) 
 Nell, don't you mind anything I do. (Turns suddenly, and 
 poifits gun at couch.) Now you, come out of that. 
 
 (Miss B. starts toward Mr. J. Mrs. J. pulls her back.) 
 
 Mr. Chase. You bet I will ! 
 
 {He struggles violently, but is evidently caught under the 
 couch.) 
 
 Miss B. (anguished). Oh, Adoniram ! Don't overdo. 
 Mrs. J. What is it ? What is it ? 
 Mr. J. {threateningly). Come on out. 
 Mr. Chase. I can't — I can't. 
 
 (He struggles still harder. Mr. J. seizes his foot to help 
 him.) 
 
 Miss B. He'll kill him. Don't kill him. Kick, Addy. 
 
 Oh, don't kick, Addy (Mr. J. continues to pull on boot 
 
 until it comes off, disclosifig a hole in the stockifig heel. Mr. 
 Chase 7vaves foot wildly in the air.) There, I knew it. Hole 
 in his heel ! Goodness knows what the toe is like ! No one 
 to darn for him. Heartless wretch that I am, I mean was. 
 
 (She weeps at one side of stage, while Mr. and Mrs. J. 
 extricate Mr. Chase.) 
 
 Mrs. J. {as they sta?id him up). Why ! It's Mr. Case. 
 Mr. Chase {rather crossly). Chase, madam. (To 
 Miss B.) Now see what you've got me into. 
 
A FULL HOUSE II 
 
 Miss B. I didn't. You got there yourself. 
 
 Mr. Chase. Well, never mind, Em. Was what I heard 
 you say true ? 
 
 Miss B. Oh, yes, yes, yes. My fluttering heart. I am so 
 agitated. 
 
 (She rushes fro7n the room, and Mr. Cuk^y. follows her.) 
 
 Mrs. J. (to Mr. J.). How did he get under that bed? 
 Mr. J. Are they both crazy ? 
 
 (They rush out after Mr. Chase a7id Miss B., and there is 
 heard a hubbub of voices outside. Mr. Case enters from 
 another door.') 
 
 Mr. Case. I thought I heard merry voices, so I came right 
 in, but there seems to be no one here. {Looks at watch.) 
 Ah ! Time for my cold pill. Case's Colossal Cure for Colds. 
 Nothing like it. (Takes a pill. Then looks about him.) 
 Very pleasant. Pleasant rooms, pleasant merrymaking. Now 
 if I can get my diet, I shall be well settled. My diet is the 
 only question. Ah, yes. (Looks at his watch.) Time for a 
 dyspepsia pill. It must be in my bag. I'll just go out and 
 get it while I wait. 
 
 (Exit Mr. Case, as Mr. and Mrs. J. enter. Mrs. J is 
 scolditig him.) 
 
 Mrs. J. There now, we've lost them both, and those rooms 
 are still empty. Oh, dear, dear, dear. You might have known 
 that if there was a man under the bed, he was there for some 
 good reason. Why couldn't you let him stay there ? Now 
 you've gone and scared her off. And he's Mr. Chase, not 
 Mr. Case, and I nearly killed myself trying to keep the place quiet 
 for him and he likes noise, so he won't stay. They're both out 
 there now, planning what they'll do, and it's all your fault. 
 
 Enter Mr. Case unobtrusively, unseen at first. 
 
 Mr. J. But, Nell 
 
 Mrs. J. And if the right Mr. Case ever does come, he 
 won't Slay five minutes, because I can't keep things quiet with 
 the ice man, and the coal man, and you fixing the radiator 
 every minute. 
 
 Mr. Case. {interruptino;ly timidly). But, madam 
 
 Mrs. J. (rather rudely). Who are you? 
 
12 A FULL HOUSE 
 
 Mr. Case {lir awing himself up). Solomon Case, manu- 
 facturer and sole proprietor of Case's Colossal Cold Cure. 
 
 Madam, 1 am a quiet man myself 
 
 Mrs. J. {discouragedly). Oh, yes, I know 
 
 Mr. Case. 1 was going to say, 1 am a quiet man 
 
 Enter Mr. Chase and Miss B. Miss B. leafis on his arm 
 with proprietary air. He is evidently somewhat be- 
 wildered and greatly embarrassed. 
 
 Mr. Chase {interrupting Mr. Case bluntly'). Mr. and 
 Mrs. Jinks, madam. I came here separately 
 
 Miss B. {coyly). We, Addy. 
 
 Mr. Chase. We came here separately looking for a home 
 — hum — a — a 
 
 Mr. J. (aside). Expect to find it under the bed ? 
 
 Mr. Chase {still more efnbarrassed). Mrs. Jinks — we two 
 lonely mortals are brought here by a fange straight, — I mean a 
 strange freight — I mean a peculiar coincidence 
 
 Miss B. Such eloquence ! 
 
 Mr. Chase. Hush, Emily. And we have decided that if 
 you will keep us, here we will remain, together 
 
 Miss B. Ever together, together ever. Ah, poetry ! 
 
 {They converse at one side.) 
 
 Mr. Case. Very pretty. {To Mrs. J.) Madam, I have 
 been for some time trying to say I am a quiet man. 
 
 Mr. J. You'll have to say it pretty loud in this house if you 
 want to be heard. 
 
 Mr. Case {laughing). He! He! He! So I observe. 
 Therefore I insist on saying that although 1 am a quiet man, 
 nothing pleases me more than a little gaiety in others. 
 
 Mrs. J. {starting). But you said 
 
 Mr. Case. One moment, madam. I must have my say. 
 Before I take lodgings here I must be sure of a front room, 
 second floor, preferably over the parlor. The parlor lends 
 jollity. However, that is a side issue. I insist only upon an 
 excellent diet, a good plain hearty diet. 
 
 Mrs. J. Diet ? 
 
 Mr. J. You said quiet. 
 
 Mr. Case {bristling). I, sir? When, sir? 
 
 Mr. J. To me, over the telephone. 
 
 Mr. Case {much disturbed). Never, sir, never. I have 
 
A FULL HOUSE I3 
 
 never wished for quiet. 1 shall be quiet long enough after my 
 pills have ceased to keep me alive. Diet^ sir ; never quiet, is 
 the secret of all helps to health. See page twenty-two of the 
 booklet given away with Case's Colossal Cold Cure. Note the 
 motto on every bottle of Solomon's Sure Stomach Sedative. 
 (^Takes a bottle from his pocket.') Jest and Digest. If you can 
 give me diet without quiet, 1 remain. 
 
 Mrs. J. {speaking wonderi7igly). Then you're all going to 
 stay ? 
 
 {They all nod.) 
 
 Mr. J. Brace, Chase, Case. That comes pretty near being 
 three of a kind. 
 
 Mrs. J. It's better than three of a kind. It's a full house ! 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
New Piays 
 
 HIS WORD OF HONOR 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 By Charles Go J 
 Eleven males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors 
 and an easy exterior. Plays two hours. An exceptionally good college 
 play, high in tone and aim, and faithful in atmosphere and color. Its 
 theme is taken from the serious side of college life, — the so-called " Honor 
 System " in college examinations, — but its humorous traits are various and 
 rich and its general tone gay and vivacious. Very strongly recommended 
 for scnools, particularly for co-educational institutions. Will suit both in- 
 structors and instructed. 
 
 Price, 2^ cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 Dick Walthour, a senior. 
 
 Harvey Grant, a senior, president of the Student Council. 
 Bert Flemming, Dick' s roommate, a junior. 
 Arthur Carson, a Virginian, a Junior 
 William Henrv Fraser, alias " Kid,'' a fresh?nan. 
 Hunter, Jackson, King, Wilkins, students. 
 Jeremiah Hackett, a sophomore, Eraser's roommate. 
 Coffey, 2. postman. 
 
 Helen Flemming, Bert' s sister, a junior. 
 Janette Gordon, a junior. 
 Molly Atkins, a freshman. 
 Arethusa a. Judkins, a sophojnore, a *' grind.'' 
 Mrs. MacInchbald, the chainber-" jnaid." 
 Professor Nicely, Professor Loomis, and others. 
 
 WHEN WOMEN VOTE 
 
 A Farce in Two Acts 
 
 By Afina P. See 
 
 Five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an easy interior. Plays 
 
 forty minutes. A good-natured and clever forecast of the time when the 
 
 Suffragette has won her fight, telling an amusing little story to carry il.s 
 
 satire. Good for women's clubs ; easy and bright. 
 
 Price, 7j cents 
 
 BUMPS 
 
 A Farce in One Act 
 By Lillie Davis 
 Three females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays twenty 
 five minutes. An amusing little hit at the fad of phrenology, suitable for 
 scnool performance. Clean and bright. 
 
 /^nce ij cents 
 
Novelties 
 
 THE VILLAGE POST-OFFICE 
 
 An Entertainment in One Scene 
 By Jessie A, Kelley 
 Twenty-two males and twenty females are called for, but one person 
 may take several parts and some characters may be omitted. The stage 
 is arranged as a country store and post-office in one. Costumes are rural 
 and funny. Plays a full evening. A side-splitting novelty, full of " good 
 lines " and comical incident and character. One continuous laugh fiom 
 beginning to end. Strongly recommended for church entertainments or 
 general use ; very wholesome and clean. 
 
 Pricey 2^ cents 
 
 MISS PRIM'S KINDERGARTEN 
 
 An Entertainment in One Scene 
 
 By Jessie A. Kelley 
 
 Ten males, eleven females. No scenery or curtain needed ; costumes 
 
 introduce grown people dressed as children. Plays an hour and a half. 
 
 A modern, up-to-date version of the popular «< District School," full of 
 
 Jaughs and a sure hit with the audience. All the parts very easy except 
 
 the Teacher's, and as it is possible for her to use a book, the entertainment 
 
 can be got up with exceptional ease and quickness. Can be recommended. 
 
 Price, 2^ cents 
 
 THE VISIT OF OBADIAH 
 
 A Farce in Two Acts 
 By Eunice Fuller and Margaret C. Lyon 
 Thirteen females. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy interior, the same 
 for both acts. Plays an hour. A clever and original play, suited for 
 school or college performance. Full of incident and offers a great variety 
 of character and great opportunity for pretty dressing. Irish and negro 
 comedy parts. Price, 23 cents 
 
 A PAN OF FUDGE 
 
 A Comedy in One Act 
 
 By Maude B. Simes 
 Six females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior. Plays twenty- 
 five minutes. A bright little boarding-school sketch, at once amusing and 
 sympathetic ; tone high and quality good. Confidently recommended to 
 young ladies as an effective piece easy to get up. 
 
 Price, 15 cents 
 Sent, post-paid, on receipt of price, by 
 
 BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass. 
 
Jl. lU. Pinero's Plays 
 
 Price, SO Cents Eacb 
 
 MinfUAWNFI Play in Four Act«. Six males, five female. 
 i711I/-vflil.iill£<Lt OoKtumes, modern; soonery, three interiors. 
 Plays two and a half hours. 
 
 Acts. Eight 
 Costumes, modem; so«nery, all interiors. 
 
 THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH ^'^» '" '»" 
 
 males, five females. 
 Plays a full evening, 
 
 THP PPOFf IPATF Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five 
 * **E« * IWI LiiU/l 1 E* females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
 •laborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening, 
 
 TUC CPUnni MfCTDrCC Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
 lilL dLnUULmldlKCdO seven females. Costumes, mod- 
 em; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 
 
 THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^lli^^Z,Xi 
 
 females. Costumes, modern; 
 fall evening. 
 
 scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
 
 CW17FT I AVFT^nirP Comedyin Three Acts. Seven males, 
 O ¥¥£•£• I Li/lVrilll/lJA. four females. Scene, a single interior, 
 oostumes, modern. Plays a fuU evening. 
 
 TUr TUf TlVinrDIini T comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
 inL inUill/r.IVDULl nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
 ors; oostiunes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
 
 mTIMFQ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
 1 llTlJUiJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
 A full evening. 
 
 TUC WF A ITFI? QFY Comedy In Three Acts. Eight males, 
 IflEi fTJuiii\Lii\ OCiA eight females. Costumes, modern; 
 foenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 
 
 A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^Te'^liJ^.^'rf'.mtSel: 
 
 Costtimes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 
 
 Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 
 
 Matter ^. ?Bafeer & Company 
 
 No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 
 
LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 
 
 ilecent popular 
 
 015 793 134 9 
 
 lUly ATT AJU«IllilU four males, gix females. Scenery, not diffl- 
 oulk, ohiefiy Interiors ; oofltomes, modem. Plajg a fall evening. 
 Price, 50 Cents. 
 
 THE FRUITS OF ENLI8DTEWIENT iT^%i^-^o^r-ktii;: 
 
 one males, eleven femalee. Scenery, oharaoterljtio interiors ; oo»* 
 tames, moderu. Plays a full evening. Beoommended for reading 
 olabs. Frioe, 95 Cents. 
 
 HIS EXCELLENCY THE fiOTERNOR ^''Jlll^T^.t'\^l 
 
 males, three females. Cogtumes, modem ; scenery, one interior. 
 Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 AN IDFAT Hn^RAND comedy in Four Acts. ByOsoABWiLDR. 
 An lirCAl^ UUJOAnil Nine males, six females. Costumee, mod- 
 em ; scenery, three Interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights 
 reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 THE IMPORTANCE OF BEWfi EARNEST IJJ,? i? SJ-L'S 
 
 "WiLDB. Five males, four females. Costumes, modem ; scenes, two 
 interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights ro> 
 served. Price, 60 Cents* 
 
 LADY WINDERMERFS FAN ??J?S'/%!';Siai,.^Z.?,"'1J 
 
 males. Costumes, modem ; econerv, three interiors. Plays m fall 
 evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents. 
 
 NATHAN HAT F Play in Four Acts. Br Cltob Fitoh. Fifteen 
 naiuiui UAI4I4 males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth 
 century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Act- 
 ing rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 THF ATHFR FFTTOW Comedy in Three Acts. ByM.B.HoKns. 
 lUC UlUCn rCtLfU rr six males, four females. Scenery, tiro 
 Interiors ; costumes, modem. Professional stago rights reserved. 
 Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 
 
 THE TYRANNY OF TEARS 8S&IS.^^,fa'£,.^^rS ^ 
 
 males. Scenery, an Interior and an exterior; costumes, modem. 
 Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 Comedy In Four Acts. By 
 080jlbWiij>b. Eight males, 
 seven females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, three interiors and an 
 exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for 
 reading only. Price, 60 Cents. 
 
 A WOMAN OF NO DHPORTANCE 
 
 Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 
 
 Salter 1^. "Bafier s, Corapanj 
 
 Ko. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 iliiiillliliiiilliilili , 
 
 015 793 134 9 • 
 
 HoUinger Corp. 
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