Class. 
 
 ?/?^ 
 
 7 
 
 Book 
 
 1 
 
SENILITIES j 
 
 OR, 
 
 Solitary Amufements: 
 
 IN PROSE AND VERSE : 
 
 WITH 
 
 A CURSORY DISQUISITION 
 
 ON THE 
 
 FUTURE CONDITION OF THE SEXES. 
 
 
 BY THE EDITOR OF "THE REVERIES OF SOLITUDE," ^ 
 * SPIRITUAL ftUIXOTE," " COLUMELLA/' &C. a1 
 
 MINTED FOR T. N. LONGMAN AND 6. £&£ 
 
 PATERNOSTER-ROW ', 
 
 BY J. BROWNE, GEORGE-STREET, BATH. 
 
 ISO! 
 
 3 
 
 *v 
 
 

TO 
 SIR RICHARD COLT HO ARE, Bl 
 
 AS A GRATEFUL ACKNOWLEDGMENT 
 
 OF REPEATED CIVILITIES, 
 
 v 
 
 WHICH THE AUTHOR HAS RECEIVED 
 AT STOURHEAD; 
 
 AND AS A SLIGHT MEMORIAL 
 
 OF THE MANY HAPPY HOURS WHICH 
 
 HE HAS BEEN PERMITTED TO ENJOY 
 
 IN THOSE ELYSIAN SCENES, 
 
 THIS MISCELLANEOUS VOLUME 
 
 IS INSCRIBED, 
 
 BY HIS MUCH-OBLIGED, 
 
 HUMBLE SERVANT; 
 THE EDITOR, 
 
CONTENTS, 
 
 PART I.— PROSE. 
 
 *AG! 
 
 THE Confolation of Negle&ed Virgins — — _— » i 
 
 On Profanenefs ■ ■ ■■ 31 
 
 On Delicacy of Manners ■ • — — 4* 
 
 On the Moral Senfe ■ ■ ■ ■ 49 
 
 Theatrico- Mania — — — — ' ■ 57 
 
 On Converfation ■ ■ ■ 69 
 
 An Oppreflive Tax ■ . 76 
 
 Sufpicious Meeting » ■ . ■ ■ 80 
 
 Narrative of an Alarming Occurrence — — ■ 83 
 
 Trifling Criticifms ■ , , , , 87 
 
 Unfeafonable Gallantry ■ ... . ■ 91 
 
 Symptoms of Self-importance - ■ - ■ 97 
 
 Rural Felicity , , ■ 1 04 
 
 PART II.— POETICAL. 
 
 THE Seat of Happinefs ■ 117 
 
 II Penforofo j or. The Seat of Woe — — iz$ 
 
 PANEGYRICAL. 
 
 To the Hon. and Rev. E. S-ym-r ■ j*« 
 
 The Rofe and the Thiftle , , j£ 
 
 Chriflmas Amufements at Claverton-Houfe 130 
 
 To Mrs. E. ofCl.v-rt-n-Houfe . - j^J 
 
 True Heroifm: to the Hon, Lt. Gl. Harcourt 144 
 
 Tewkelbury Park — ■ — - jc 
 
 Comb-Hay ■ - j^g 
 
 The Lover's Walk __—__, j6i 
 
 Cormam-Houfe j or, The Family Return 163 
 
 Ammerdown _____ j65 
 
 A Topographical Sketch of the County of Somerfet 169 
 
 To Prince Hoare, Efcj. «. jj^ 
 
 On the !ate Rainy Seafon . , 7 6 
 
 Danmonras Laudes j or, The Worthies of Devonihire 1 79 
 
 Horace's Ode II. b. 2, imitated - ■ . 181 
 
 To Amos Green, Efq. - 3 g- 
 
 Confolatory Smilej - . jg 7 
 
 Frugality, the Source of Generofity . 183 
 
 A Corporation Feaft at Bath . jga 
 
 An inveterate Rhymer' s Farewell to die Mufes 193 
 
 PART 
 
II 
 
 CONTENTS- 
 
 PART III.— HUMOROUS. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 MATERNAL Defpotifm j or, The Rights of Infants 197 
 Dogrel Rhymes ; or, The Rights of Dogs 
 
 The Rights of Reptiles . 
 
 Murder and Adultery 5 or, Chaftity Polluted 
 
 Botany-Bay. A New Song. — — 
 
 John Bail's Seditious Text ( — — — - 
 
 On the Voluntary Subfcriptions for Defence 
 
 Domeftic Comfort ■ 
 
 Devout Meditations 
 
 The Domeftic Defpot 
 
 The Proxy ■ 
 
 The Police Difarmed . 
 
 On the prefent loofe Drapery of the Fair Sex 
 
 To the Lovely Lady ■ » — 
 
 On the Author's Picture 
 The 'Univerfal Remedy 
 
 A fimilar Prefcription in a different Vehicle 
 
 To the Author's Three Perukes / ■ 
 
 The Impatient Lover ■ 
 
 Liberty and Property ■ 
 
 The Temple of the Mufes ! 
 
 PART * IV. — MISCELLANEOUS. 
 
 TRUE Politenefs \ ■ 
 
 To a Difconfolate Virgin ■ 
 
 To a fine Woman with a Mufical Voice 
 
 To Mifs Charlotte • 
 
 To the Hon. Mrs. Hill 
 
 To Mifs ■ ■ 
 
 To Mifs Sufannah H-rr-ngt-n 
 
 To Dr. H-rr-ngt-n 
 
 Infcription on the Prize of the Pump-Room at Bath 
 
 On Cromwell's Picture — — 
 
 The Spirited Fair One ■ 
 
 A Song : 
 
 The Aviary : or, The Merry Captives 
 
 Female Attractions ■ ■ 
 
 The Senfitivc Plant 
 
 Dine with the Doctor 
 
 W-d-c-mb-Houfe ■ 
 
 A Remarkable Phaenomenon 
 
 Martial, Ep. 74, B. 10, imitated 
 
 Paftor.il Advice 
 
 The Innocence of Infancy 
 In Memory of Wm. L-ng, Efq. 
 A Monumental Infcription 
 Rehgnation ■- 
 
 199 
 
 202 
 206 
 208 
 212 
 
 214 
 216 
 
 218 
 
 220 
 224 
 229 
 230 
 232 
 
 233 
 234 
 
 236 
 
 238 
 
 241 
 
 243 
 247 
 
 253 
 254 
 256 
 
 258 
 
 260 
 262 
 264 
 267 
 269 
 271 
 
 2 73 
 275 
 277 
 282 
 a 84 
 286 
 288 
 296 
 293 
 
 *95 
 
 298 
 301 
 
 3^3 
 3 C 4 
 
THE 
 
 PREFACE, 
 
 In the reign of Charles II. when the 
 Clergy would preach two hours at a 
 liretch, " and make nothing of it ;" as 
 foon as the preacher perceived his fo- 
 porific eloquence begin to take effect ; 
 in order to roufe the languid atten- 
 tion of his audience, and give them 
 hopes of a fpeedy releafe • he would 
 exclaim with great emphafis, U Once 
 V more and I have done !" Of this 
 a 3 "' e$> 
 
 »?: 
 
( a ) 
 
 expreffion I fhall avail myfelf, not to 
 gain the attention, but to obtain the 
 pardon of the Public for having fo long 
 trefpafled oh their patience : And I 
 allure them in the language of fhow- 
 men, *' This is pofitively the lafi; time 
 *' of performing.'* Thofe indeed who 
 are acquainted with the' advanced age 
 of the Author, and the many infirmi- 
 ties and affli&ive circumftances, too 
 often the concomitants of old age, will 
 wonder how he could poffibly amufe 
 himfelf with .fuch trifles, particularly 
 with thofe pieces which he has ven- 
 tured to call Humorous ; many of 
 which appear in this Mifcellaneous 
 Collection, 
 
 hr But, 
 
( a ) 
 
 But, in the firft place, not to plead 
 the force of habit, moft of them were 
 written fome years fince, and are only 
 the Quifquitice, or neglec&ed contents 
 of his port-folio. But as fome of 
 them feemed not totally void of merit, 
 (in their kind) though he is convinced 
 no one can take the fame pleafure in 
 fuch middling poetry, as the Author 
 does, he thought they might amufe the 
 idle Reader^ as they had done the idle 
 Writer of them. 
 
 It mufl be obferved, in the next 
 place, that laughter is by no means an 
 unequivocal fymptom of a merry 
 heart. It is a remarkable anecdote of 
 Carlini, the drolleft buffoon that ever 
 appeared on the Italian flage at Paris. 
 
 A French 
 
( iv ) 
 
 A French phyfician having been con- 
 fulted by a perfon, fubjeO; to the moil 
 gloomy fits of melancholy, advifed his 
 patient to mix in fcenes of gaiety and 
 diflipation; and particularly to fre- 
 quent the Italian theatre ; and if Car- 
 lini does not difpel your gloomy com- 
 plaint, fays he, your cafe mufl be def- 
 perate indeed. Alas ! Sir, faid the pa- 
 tient, I myfelf am Carlini; and while 
 I divert all Paris with mirth, and make 
 them almoft die with laughter, I my- 
 felf am dying with melancholy and 
 chagrin. 
 
 As for thofe lighter pieces then, in 
 this Volume, they are' fo far from 
 being the offspring of cheerfulnefs or 
 gaiety, that they were written to di- 
 vert 
 
( v ) 
 
 vert my thoughts from fome affliclive 
 circumftance, when I could not attend 
 to more ferious or important medita- 
 tions. 
 
 But the Author will probably be 
 accufed of a culpable degree of adu- 
 lation for the many complimentary 
 pieces which he has addreifed to his 
 fuperiors in ftation or fortune, or other 
 external advantages. To which he 
 can only fay as he has before faid on 
 fimilar occafions, " That his enco- 
 (l miums have always been the effu- 
 
 <f lions of gratitude for favors Te- 
 rn 
 ct ceived;" and not the fnares of fiat- 
 
 tery for any that he expected ; and 
 
 therefore may at leall be deemed dif- 
 
 intereiled. 
 
 * Mens intenta fuis neforetufque maiis. Ovid. 
 
 He 
 
( vi ) 
 
 He has always been more inclined 
 to panegyric, than to fatyr : and hav- 
 ing an habitual tendency to rhyming, 
 unfortunately contracted in his youth, 
 every incident, pleafing or difpleafing; 
 every civility, or every flight from a 
 great man ; a fafcinating fmile, or 
 mortifying negledl, from a beautiful 
 woman ; every accidental circumflance 
 of this kind, will fet his fancy to work 
 as mechanically as a frefli gale puts 
 the fails of a wind-mill in motion, 
 Yet this propenfity has rarely been 
 indulged, unlefs in his morning rides ; 
 which he is under a neceftity of taking 
 daily, on account of his health. 
 
 But, after all, I am afraid it will be 
 fold* and with fome degree of truth, 
 
 that 
 
( vii ) 
 
 that a confiderable part of his life has 
 been palled in doing wrong things, and 
 making apologies for them. But what 
 Pope fays of Poets in general, may be 
 applied on the prefent oceafion. 
 
 " Yet, Sir, reflect : the mischief is not great 5 
 iC These madmen never hurt the Church or State : 
 ee Allow him but his plaything of a pen, 
 « He ne'er rebels or plots like other men," 
 
 The greateft detriment to the Pub- 
 lic in this alarming dearth of paper, 
 is the unnecefiary confumption of 
 that article ; which might be fo much 
 better employed in philofophical or 
 political pamphlets ; to combat the re- 
 ligious prejudices and fuperftition of a 
 bigotted age ; and to difTeminate the 
 principles of Liberty and Z quality % 
 
 and 
 
( viii } 
 
 and reftore men to their Natural' 
 Rights \ and free them from the arbi- 
 trary reflraints impofed upon them by 
 the Laws of Sooiety. 
 
 The pre fen t fcarcity of bread in- 
 deed, is beneath the attention of a 
 philosopher or a poet ; (they have 
 been inured to a fpare diet and fcanty 
 meals) but a dearth of paper! is an 
 awful confideration : it flrikes at the 
 very exiftence of their fublime fpecu- 
 lations. It mull at leafl deprive the 
 world of the benefit of their lucubra- 
 tions ; and eventually reduce men 
 again to a fiate of ignorance and bar- 
 barifm !* 
 
 * See Dr. Brown's ingenious Essay on this 
 subject. 
 
 to 
 
( fc ) 
 
 To conclude : As a young Author 
 fometimes claims indulgence for his 
 Jirjl performance, on account of his 
 youth ; The Author of this Farraginous 
 Collection, deprecates the feverity of 
 criticifm for this his loft production, 
 on account of his advanced age ; being 
 above twenty years pafl his grand 
 climatrix. 
 
 However, I would bequeath this 
 advice to the juvenile part of my ac- 
 quaintance. 
 
 My young Friends I Avoid bad 
 company, gaming, fabbath-breaking* 
 and*— writing verfes : 
 
 An OUo-Genarian Scribbler* 
 
THE 
 
 CONSOLATION 
 
 OF 
 
 NEGLECTED VIRGINS : 
 
 A CURSORY DISQUISITION 
 
 ON THE 
 
 FUTURE CONDITION OF THE SEXES. 
 
 WITH A REFERENCE TO 
 
 DR. PRIESTLEY'S OPINION OF THIS SUBJECT. 
 
 *v 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I remember an itinerant profeffor of 
 the medical art, who, from a pure dif- 
 interefled regard to the welfare of his 
 fellow-creatures, frequented the mar- 
 kets of a provincial town, to heal ma- 
 ladies of every kind, without fee or 
 reward; except a mere trifle to defray 
 the expence of his travels. Bat his 
 chief delight and fubject of triumph 
 was to cure the blind, and thofe who 
 had been pronounced incurable by the 
 regular practitioners of the healing art. 
 A poor old man, who had been; 
 totally blind for many years, was wil- 
 ling to avail himfelf of this common 
 bleffing fo liberally bellowed : the 
 artift, after putting him to confider- 
 able torture for fome time, told him, 
 3 2 at 
 
4 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 at length, c ' Honeft man, if you had 
 but two films over your eyes, I could 
 cure you ; but you have three — and, 
 therefore, though you will never reco- 
 ver your fight in this world, you will 
 fee again in the next." The poor man 
 thanked the Doctor for his kindnefs, 
 payed his fixpence, and withdrew with 
 perfect refignation to his fate. 
 
 Such, I confefs, is in fome meafure 
 the only confolation which I have to 
 'offer to thofe unhappy females, whom 
 the injuflice, or want of difcernment, 
 in our faflidious fex, has deprived of 
 the comforts of conjugal endearment, 
 and the tender regards of their natural 
 fupporters and protectors. The con- 
 duct, however, which I fhall here take 
 the liberty to fuggeft, will, I trufl, if 
 adopted, contribute greatly to their 
 comfort and happinefs, even in this 
 life ; as well as qualify them for that 
 more perfect blifs which is referved for 
 them hereafter. 
 
 section 
 
C s 3 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 •N o one, who has not been feduced 
 by the impious fophiftry of this fuper- 
 ficial Age of Reafon, aud confiders, 
 with due attention, the infinite good- 
 nefs and wifdom of the great Creator 
 of the univerfe, can poflibly believe 
 that he would produce fuch a creature 
 as man, endued with a capacity to 
 judge of, and appreciate the goodnefs 
 and juftice of his Maker, with an in- 
 fatiable thirft after happinefs/ inde- 
 fatigable in the purfuit of knowledge* 
 and capable of improving his faculties 
 to an indefinite extent ; who, after 
 having laboured up the deep afcent of 
 virtue and fcience, fhould be fuffered 
 to drop at once into the gulph of eter- 
 nal oblivion ; deceived, and even de- 
 frauded, as it were, of the reward of 
 his labours. — From this moral argu- 
 b 3 ment 
 
THE CONSOLATION 
 
 merit alone, then, a future Hate of ex- 
 igence is, I think, demonflrable. 
 
 But, if we extend our inquiries be- 
 yond this life, and attempt to invefti- 
 gate the particular circum fiances of 
 that ftate, our fpeculations mull ne- 
 ceffarily be merely conjectural, infi- 
 nitely vague and uncertain. When 
 the drama of life is finifhed and the 
 curtain dropped, an impenetrable veil 
 precludes any further difcovery. 
 
 From fome paffages in the facred 
 writings, however, and fome hints there 
 given, we may reafon with a degree of 
 confidence on fome few particulars of 
 that (late. With regard to the future 
 condition of the fexes, for inftance (the 
 fubject of this Effay) we may form 
 fome plaufible conjectures. 
 
 As the fanctions of the Mofaic law 
 were only temporal rewards and pu- 
 nilhments, the feet of the Sadducees, 
 which confifted chiefly of the mofl 
 wealthy, though not, in general, the 
 
 mofl 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 7 
 
 moll learned part of the community, 
 were fo well contented with tbe pre- 
 fent ftate of things, and found them- 
 felves fo fnug and comfortable in their 
 affluent allotment, that they looked no 
 further than the prefent life; and as 
 they were not folicitous about it, they 
 affected to difbelieve a future ftate of 
 exiftenee. 
 
 To infinuate to the common people, 
 therefore, the inconfiftency of our Sa- 
 viour's doctrine with the law of Mofes, 
 they fuppofed a cafe of iC feven bre- 
 thren, who fuccefsively married the 
 fame woman," (agreeably to a precept 
 in the law to that purpofe,) and, with 
 a fneer, I fuppofe alked, " whofe wife 
 fhe mould be in the refurre&ion ?" To 
 which our Lord replies, that " in the 
 refurrection they neither marry nor 
 are given in marriage, but are as the 
 angels in heaven." Matt. xxii. 30. 
 
 From this paffage the ingenious Dr. 
 Prieftley (with St. Hilary, and fome 
 
 others 
 
8 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 others of the primitive fathers) infers^ 
 not only that " there will be no mar- 
 riages" but alfo, that there will be no 
 diftinclion of fexes in heaven. A 
 ftrange and unwarrantable conclufion! 
 which the Scriptures do not counte- 
 nance, and our reafon, or our feelings, 
 at leaft, revolt at the idea. 
 
 St. Paul, indeed, mentions a confi- 
 derable change which the human frame 
 will undergo on that awful occafion : 
 that <c it is fown in corruption, it is 
 raifed in incorruption, it is fown in 
 weaknefs, it is raifed in power/' it is 
 fown a natural, or merely animal body, 
 it is raifed a fpiritual, or fpiritualized 
 body :' But he no where fays, that a fe- 
 male body will be raifed a male, or a 
 male a female body. And if there is 
 to be only one fex, the ladies furely 
 have as good a claim to that excluflve 
 privilege as the men have. Nay, as we 
 are to have bodies of fome kind or 
 Other, and ' c are to be as the angels in 
 
 heaven :" 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 9 
 
 heaven;" the fair fex in their imma- 
 culate purity and virgin innocence, 
 certainly approach nearer to our pre- 
 fent ideas of thofe angelic beings than 
 the males do.* 
 
 In fhort, <{ every feed," as St. Paul 
 fays, fc will have its own body;" and 
 we might, with as much reafon, expecl: 
 a grain of wheat to produce an ear of 
 barley, an acorn an apple tree, or the 
 chryfalis of a butterfly- to be trans- 
 formed into an humming bird or a 
 robin red-breaft, as thofe to rife up 
 males who were fafely depofited in a 
 female form in the tomb. 
 
 But it may be faid, J: If there are no 
 marriages in heaven, of what ufe can 
 the diftinclion of fexes be ?f As there 
 
 * There seems to be some truth in the poet's 
 remark : 
 
 " Angels are painted fair to look like you." 
 
 f This is a subject of more delicacy than the 
 Author fears he is possessed of. But if he cannot 
 be useful; he will; at least; endeavour to be harm-, 
 less. will 
 
lO THE CONSOLATION 
 
 will be no need of any further fupply 
 of the celeflial inhabitants/* 
 
 Thofe, however, who make this ob- 
 jection, mud confider the fair fex in a 
 very degrading light, as a mere nurfery 
 to fupply the obitory of the pleafure 
 garden. 
 
 But there has generally been ac- 
 knowledged ajfe^W/diftincl-ion of fouls 
 as well as of bodies. The athletic 
 fbength and roughnefs of the male 
 feems intended to be tempered by the 
 facinating foftnefs of the female, height- 
 ened by the charms of the more deli-. 
 cate and beautiful form of the latter. 
 
 tc For valour He and contemplation form'd, 
 
 : grac 
 
 MlLTON", 
 
 ** For softness She and sweet attractive grace. 
 
 And though we often meet with 
 men of an effeminate foftnefs, and an 
 affecled delicacy of manners ; and wo- 
 men of a mafculine boldnefs and inde- 
 licate ftyle of behaviour ; the fight is 
 
 always 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 1% 
 
 always ridiculous and difgufting. The 
 latter, especially, when they afpire at 
 excellence in a character for which na- 
 ture never intended them, necefTarily 
 defeat their own piirpofe. 
 
 It would be the height of preemp- 
 tion and folly, however, in this age, to 
 deny the capability of the fair fex to 
 rival the proudeft of our fex in intel- 
 lectual improvements. But when a 
 lady, bleffed with thefe extraordinary 
 talents, oftentatioufly difplays her 
 knowledge, and contends with, and 
 even defeats an antagonifl in a meta- 
 physical difpute, or any abflrufe fci- 
 ence ; we may admire her (kill and pro- 
 found erudition, but me is no longer 
 an object; of defire, or of our tender 
 regard. 
 
 SECT. 
 
t2 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 SECT. II. 
 
 Love is one of the flrongeft and 
 moil delightful pafhons of the human 
 foul. By Love I here mean that re- 
 fined fentiment of mutual tendernefs 
 and ardent affection between two per- 
 fons of different fexes, which induces 
 each to confult the happinefs of the 
 other in preference to their own ; and 
 which, I am convinced, exifts in young 
 minds at lead totally diftincl; from fen- 
 fual appetite, or that inftindtive attrac- 
 tion which tends directly to the per- 
 fonal union of the fexes. 
 
 Now, though there will be no mar* 
 riages in heaven, and we cannot pro- 
 rnife the haplefs fubjecr.s of this Effay 
 good hulbands ; yet, what is much 
 better, they will find there an hoft of 
 cordial friends and fincere lovers. And 
 this delicious paffion of love, inliead 
 
 of 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 13 
 
 of being reftrained to a (ingle object, 
 will probably be infinitely extended 
 and exalted into that univerfal bene- 
 volence, or charity, fo ftrongly enforced 
 in the Gofpel. And in our fpiritual- 
 ized bodies we fhall enjoy that refined 
 intercourfe of affection with the whole 
 fex, which we now experience in the 
 contracted fphere of the connubial 
 Hate. And, as fuch an intercourfe 
 will greatly augment the happinefs of 
 heaven, we can hardly doubt that it 
 will fubfifl there, and produce its ge- 
 nuine effeft. 
 
 It has been abfurdly objected to our 
 religion, that it lays no flrefs upon 
 friendfhip, nor on patriotifm, or the 
 love of our country, but leaves thefe 
 virtues as voluntary duties in a Chris- 
 tian. Yet, furely, that divine charity, 
 or univerfal philanthropy, which ex- 
 tends our good-will to all mankind, is 
 far fuperior to fuch, partial, contracted 
 attachments, which frequently prove 
 
 pre- 
 
tj. THE CONSOLATION" 
 
 prejudicial to fociety, and fometimes 
 to the individuals fo connected. 
 
 In like manner, it is not improbable 
 that although no one will have an ex- 
 clufive property in any individual of a 
 different fex, yet, that there will be an 
 univerfally extended, though not lefs 
 tranfporting intercourfe between them 
 all. 
 
 The Sadducees, who put this invi- 
 dious queftion to our Saviour, faw 
 clearly the confufion which mud re- 
 fuit from the fuppofition of fuch ex- 
 cluiive connections hereafter : and in- 
 Head of the proper inference, that, 
 therefore, there would be no marriages, 
 they perverfely infered, that there 
 would be no future Jl ate, or refurrefiion; 
 
 The frequent adulteries and divorces 
 in the prefent age, would produce the 
 fame confufion and embarraflment, 
 fuppofmg the adulterors and the in- 
 jured parties to be admitted to the 
 fame happy place, and the fair object 
 
 of 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 1£ 
 
 of their attachment to be worth a dis- 
 pute. It may be of importance, then, 
 to caution thofe who may have un- 
 awares conceived a fondnefs for a wo- 
 man who is the property of another, 
 not to forfeit, by indulging an illicit 
 and finful paflion here, all poffibilitj 
 of being happy in her fociety here- 
 after. 
 
 In fhort, though we muff not expefi 
 a Mahometan paradife, we can hardly 
 I think, doubt that there will be fuch 
 a beatific commerce and reciprocal af- 
 fection between the fouls of the good 
 of different fexes as will conilitute the 
 chief felicity of heaven. 
 
 The exercife of the kind affections 
 feems fo effential to our enjoyment in 
 this life, that we often fee thofe un- 
 happy beings who by fome accidental 
 circumftances, though otherwife, per- 
 haps, of great merit, have been difap- 
 pointed of any opportunity of indulg- 
 ing them on, a proper object, we fee 
 
 them. 
 
l6 THE'- CONSOLATION 
 
 them Iavifhing their careiTes on lap- 
 dogs, or other domeftic animals of the 
 brute-creation : but, in the celeftial 
 regions, every one we meet will be an 
 object of our cordial love and jufl 
 efleem. 
 
 SECT. III. 
 
 As a virtuous union of the fexes 
 then is a fource of the highefi enjoy- 
 ment which this world affords, we can- 
 not but pity thofe unfortunate dam- 
 fels, who, as I have obferved, for want 
 of perfonal attractions, or any other 
 c&ufe, are deprived of this common 
 bleffing. But let them not repine or 
 murmur at their hard lot, nor naffer it 
 to four their temper, and add a difguft- 
 ing morofenefs to their countenances. 
 On the contrary, let them cherifh the 
 
 mild 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. f] 
 
 mild and benevolent affections, culti- 
 vate their minds, and ftudy the art of 
 pleafing ; which will give them charms 
 fuperior to the moil regular fyftem of 
 features, or the fined complexion. 
 Polite nefs (which is generally no more 
 than an artificial benevolence) has ir- 
 rcfiftible attractions ; and extraordi- 
 nary mental endowments often make 
 us overlook any perfonal difadvan- 
 tages. 
 
 Every one knows that Scarron, who 
 reprefents himfelf fo much diftorted 
 as to refemble the letter Z ; yet, by his 
 wit and ingenuity, he gained the affec« 
 tions of Madame D'Aubigny, after- 
 wards the celebrated Madame Mainte- 
 non ; the miftrefs, if not the wife, of 
 Lewis the XlVth. 
 
 Mr. Pope, whofe flender carcafs was 
 laced up in flays like a collar of brawn, 
 and his fhoulder greatly protuberant, 
 is fuppofed to have received marks of 
 tender regard from more than one lady 
 e of 
 
l8 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 of diftin&ion. As the great Lord 
 Chefterfield boajled of favours of fome 
 of the fineft women in Europe, though 
 more perhaps than he ever received. 
 
 And I could mention, at this time, 
 more than one woman of famion, whofe 
 exterior form is by no means propor- 
 tioned to their mental accomplifh- 
 ments ; who yet have gained, and long 
 retained the affections of men, as ami- 
 able in their perfons, as refpe&able in 
 their characters, to whom they have 
 been happily united. 
 
 Yet let not my readers of this de- 
 fcription found their hopes on thefe 
 lefs frequent examples, but feek for 
 confolation from more infallible fources. 
 Let them reflect on the peculiar blef- 
 fings which are promifed to the meek, 
 and to the pure in heart. To thofe 
 who are of a gentle difpolition, and 
 who preferve the unfullied purity of 
 their minds as well as of their perfons. 
 And let them fubmit with patience 
 
 and 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 19 
 
 and refignation to their prefent fate ; 
 and alfo endeavour to reftrain and fub- 
 due, as much as human frailty will 
 permit, even thofe innocent propen- 
 lities which they have no opportunity 
 of gratifying, and by that means ac- 
 quire a tajte for thofe fpiritual and ex- 
 alted pleafures which they may hope 
 to enjoy hereafter. 
 
 Should they allow themfelves fome 
 innocent gratifications, even of the fen- 
 fual kind, fuch as a glafs of wine or two 
 extraordinary after dinner, (which is 
 often the cafe) the occafional refrefh- 
 ment of a pinch of fnuff, a fajhionablc 
 glafs of rum and water in an evening, 
 or the like, yet let them, by all means, 
 beware of indulging themfelves in any 
 kind of excels, which they may be na- 
 turally tempted to do, as an indemni- 
 fication for the lofs of thofe connubial 
 comforts, which nature intended as the 
 common lot of all her children. 
 
 c 2 Another 
 
20 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 Another prudential maxim I would 
 particularly recommend to the ladies 
 of this description, never to practife 
 any coquetifh or juvenile airs> efpe- 
 cially after they are turned of fifty, 
 which will infallibly frultrate the pur- 
 pofe intended by them. 
 
 SECT. IV. 
 
 To thofe brighter regions of happi- 
 aiefsj then, in a future Hate, thefe neg- 
 lected virgins mull look for more com- 
 plete confolation. Though the virtu- 
 ous habits, and the meek and patient 
 refignation to their defliny, may not 
 make them perfectly happy here, yet 
 they will greatly mitigate their cha- 
 grin, and will be the befl preparatives 
 for enjoying the fociety, and partici- 
 pating 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS, 2\ 
 
 pating the felicity, of the bleffed inha- 
 bitants of heaven. 
 
 What will be the precife nature and 
 degree of that felicity (as I have al- 
 ready obferved) no one has prefumed 
 to explain, (c neither has it entered into 
 the heart of man fully to conceive." 
 But, in addition to the ecftatic joy of 
 being re-united to our neareft and 
 deareft domeftic connections, and molt 
 beloved friends, we may confidently 
 aflert, that there will be an univerfal 
 harmony between all the inhabitants 
 of the celeftial manfions ; and proba^- 
 h\y s alfo, that there will be a more 
 tender and ardent affection fubfift- 
 ing between the two fexes, fimilar to 
 that which unites them here below. 
 And thofe neglected virgins, who 
 have meekly fubmitted to their def- 
 tiny here, will meet with thofe en- 
 dearments of which, from fome per- 
 gonal defects, perhaps, they haye here? 
 been unfortunately deprived. For 
 c 3 as 
 
2£ THE CONSOLATION 
 
 as moft perfonal deformities, or even 
 want of fymmetry in the features, or 
 in our fhape, are probably occafioned 
 either by fome mifmanagement of the 
 child in its infancy, or derived down 
 by a fuccefhon of accidental impref- 
 fions from their anceftors, or from an 
 immoderate indulgence of their appe- 
 tites;* thofe defects will certainly be 
 rectified in the glorified body ; and no- 
 thing but vicious habits, or mental de~ 
 formities, will exclude them from the 
 heavenly abodes, or deprive them of a 
 cordial reception there, from every in- 
 habitant of each fex, and of every de- 
 gree of glory and perfection. For as 
 there will be no difti notion but what 
 aiifes from virtue and goodnefs, and 
 every one will be as perfect in that 
 refpect as his particular mental quali- 
 
 * No woman would grow to that enormous 
 bulk which we sometimes see, from any other 
 cause, allowing for family constitutions. 
 
 ties 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 23 
 
 ties and other circumflances require, 
 there will, probably, be a relative, if 
 not a perfect equality in heaven. 
 
 In what boundlefs regions of fpace 
 the incalculable myriads of descendants 
 from Adam will be difpofed of, or how 
 for endlefs ages they will be employed, 
 or how a feries of raptures, or even 
 plealing fenfations, will be found to 
 engage our attention to all eternity, it 
 is not the bufinefs of this EfTay to in- 
 quire. But we may fafely trufl to the 
 infinite goodnefs and power of our 
 great Benefactor, to fupply us with all 
 that we can wifb, or that will contri- 
 bute to our eternal felicity. In our 
 prefent Hate we experience a fucceflion 
 of occupations and amufements, fuited 
 to our different flages of life, and our 
 different ideas of things from infancy, 
 through our youth, our manhood, and 
 to the mod advanced period of human 
 life. 
 
 But 
 
2.4 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 But mere exiftence is a blefling, 
 when not embittered by pain or any 
 diftrefsful circumftances ; and, amidft 
 the fociety and reciprocal endearment 
 of innumerable hofts of the blefled, we 
 can want no other variety to conflitute 
 our happinefs. 
 
 Let us fuppofe a numerous family, 
 united in interefts and affection, living 
 together in an innocent and virtuous 
 harmony, poffeffed of a competence to 
 provide for the conveniences and com- 
 forts of life; and the younger part of 
 the family, perhaps, in time, marrying 
 and fettling near their parents, in the 
 patriarchal ftyle. What could pre-* 
 vent fuch a family from being as happy 
 as human nature will permit, without 
 any variety for a long feries of years ? 
 
 * f Sicknefs, or the death of fome of 
 its members/', you will fay, <f or the 
 neceffity of fome of them being fepa- 
 rated from the reft, to gain a better 
 
 eftablifli- 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 2J 
 
 «ft.ablifhment in the world, and many 
 other difaftrous circumftances may in- 
 terrupt the felicity even of fuch a 
 family." 
 
 True ! but nothing of that kind can 
 befall the inhabitants of the realms 
 above — They are landed on a peaceable 
 ihore, and fafe from the ftorms and dif- 
 aflers of this boifterous ocean ; and as 
 they are fecured from fm, they can 
 know no mifery, or any abatement of 
 their happinefs, 
 
 I knew three maiden fillers forty 
 years ago, co-heireffes, I think, to a 
 confiderable fortune ; but as their per- 
 fonal attractions had not been fufficient 
 to procure them proper matches, they 
 lived together in their virgin-ftate, in 
 their manfion-houfe in the country, 
 and in a flyle fuitable to their fortune 
 and rank in life. Having had a reli- 
 gious education, they had learned to 
 regulate their paffions. and to com- 
 mand 
 
S6 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 mand their temper, and were endeared 
 to each other by reciprocal affe&ion. 
 As they were temperate, they were, in 
 general healthy. But if either of them 
 were occafionally indifpofed, it only 
 increafed the tendernefs and attention 
 of her lifters. They vifited their gen- 
 tiler neighbours in their turn ; but 
 their higheft enjoyment and chief 
 amufement was, the walking to the 
 neighbouring cottages, inquiring into 
 and relieving the wants of the indigent 
 and affifting the diftrefled. In Ihort, as 
 they were virtuous they were happy^ 
 and inftead of a liftlefs latitude or 
 wearinefs of life ; or complaining of its 
 dulnefs and infipidity ; their only fear 
 was, left their party fhould be broken 
 up by the death or marriage of either 
 of its members. 
 
 But, alas ! what idea can the moll 
 romantic description of human felicity 
 give us of the future fcenes of. blifs — 
 
 that 
 
OF NEGLECTED VIRGINS. 27 
 
 that <c fulnefs of joy and thofe rivers 
 of pleafure," where we fhall fully 
 quench our thirfl after happinefs in the 
 realms above. The Elyfium, indeed, 
 of the heathen poets, and even the pa- 
 radife of our facred writers, are no more 
 than pictures of inanimate nature. But 
 the beauty and fplendor even of the 
 celeflial manfions would contribute but 
 little to our happinefs, without that 
 focial intercourfe, that friendly union, 
 and thofe reciprocal endearments of 
 its bleffed inhabitants. The moft mas[- 
 nificent palace can afford the lover no 
 more pleafure than the meaneft cot- 
 tage, when abfent from the object of 
 his ardent affection. 
 
 In fhort, whatever or wherever the 
 feat of our happinefs may be, as we 
 fhall rife the fame identical perfons, 
 and retain the fame faculties, though 
 infinitely improved ; we fhall probably 
 enjoy many of the fame pleafures, 
 
 though 
 
28 THE CONSOLATION 
 
 though exalted and refined beyond 
 ourprefent conception. They will be 
 the fame in kind, though not in de- 
 gree.* And as an univerfal harmony, 
 fimilarity of fentiment, and the mofl 
 tmreferved confidence, analogous to 
 our earthly friendihips, will prevail 
 amongft all the inhabitants of hea- 
 ven ; fo, doubtlefs, a more tender at 
 tachment, and more exquifite fym- 
 pathy, fimilar to the paffion of love 
 (though void of the leaft tincture of 
 fenfuaiity) will there fubfill between; 
 the two fexes. 
 
 Hence, then, I have endeavoured to 
 extract matter of <f confolation to thofe 
 €f negletled virgins/' who, by a pious 
 refignation, and by cultivating univer- 
 fal benevolence and forming virtuous 
 habits, fhall qualify themfelves for the 
 fociety of the faints in heaven. 
 
 * See an Essay on the Happiness of the Life to 
 come 5 an elegant translation from the French. 
 
 I (hall 
 
©* NEGLECTED VIRCINS-. 2f 
 
 I fhall conclude this Effay with again 
 recommending to the fair objects of it, 
 cl the ornament of a meek and quiet 
 fpirit," a good temper, and a contented 
 and chearful, yet by no means too gay 
 or flippant a behaviour. Let them not 
 obtrude themfelves too much on the 
 public eye ; but, by a referved and 
 modeft air, endeavour to evade parti- 
 cular notice as much as may be. When 
 an unhappy creature feems confcious 
 of any perfonal defect, fhe naturally 
 excites companion ; and Pity, we know, 
 is the fifier, or rather, the parent, of 
 Love, 
 
 Indeed, though a perfon of this de- 
 fcription may be overlooked in a po- 
 lite circle ; or even affronted, perhaps, 
 by fome ivfolent. beauty, who, like a 
 blazing comet, draws after her a train 
 of gazing fops ; yet this meek fufferer 
 fhall be u a miniftering angel," per- 
 haps, (< and fhine as a ftarin the firma- 
 ment," 
 
go THE CONSOLATION, &C. 
 
 ment^* when that haughty fair one, 
 whofe charms may not improbably 
 prove deftru&ive of her innocence, 
 may be configned to the fociety of 
 fallen angels, to do pennance for her 
 pride and infolence, in the regions of 
 darknefs and defpair. 
 
 Though Virtue may be opprefTed, 
 and feem for a while to be neglected ; 
 it will finally triumph, and infallibly 
 meet with an adequate reward. 
 
 ON 
 
C 3« ] 
 
 ON 
 
 PROFANENESS. 
 
 g< For want of decency is want of sense." 
 
 Pope, 
 
 Prof an en ess, in its general fenfe, is 
 the treating with levity and irreverence 
 things facred ; or which are efteemed 
 luch by all wife and good men. From 
 vanity or prefumption, perhaps, we 
 may deem them weak arid fuperfti- 
 tious ; in attributing an idea of fanctity 
 to trifles which do not deferve it. But 
 Modefty dictates a diftruft of our own 
 opinions, and decency requires us to 
 facrifice our own fenfe of things to the 
 united fenfe, or even to the prejudices 
 of a major part of the community. 
 
 As fuch a variety of religious perfua- 
 fions prevail in this country, we ought 
 mutually to refpect each others fcru- 
 
 pies; 
 
$2 ON PRGFANENESS. 
 
 pies ; and not treat with contempt their 
 religious ceremonies, or violate their 
 places of worfhip ; as indeed none but 
 the mere vulgar rabble in this age 
 would do ; and they are reflrained by 
 Hit laws of the land from this fpecies 
 of profanenefs. 
 
 Yet, mould an inoffenfive Quaker, 
 whofe confcience will not permit him 
 to wear a fuperfluous button on his 
 coat, much lefs to bow the knee to> 
 Baal, come into a church, on any oc- 
 canon, with his broad beaver on his 
 head, we mould pity and pardon the 
 delicacy of his fcruples. But when a 
 fectary of any other denomination, 
 who has not the fame plea, ,comes into 
 a veftry, as I have often feen, with his 
 hat on, when the reft of the company 
 are uncovered, he ought to be treated 
 as any man would be who mould come 
 into a full-dreffed affembly of polite 
 people in a flovenly dimabille, or in 
 dirty boots ; he would certainly be af- 
 fronted, 
 
ON PROFANENESS* £$ 
 
 Fronted, if not turned out of the room. 
 And a churchman who mould go into 
 one of their conventicles in the fame 
 infolent manner, ought to meet with a 
 fimilar treatment. 
 
 Yet, in thefe and the like inftanceSi 
 the ill-breeding, rather than the pro- 
 fanenefs of the parties, is generally to 
 be cenfured. 
 
 When an eccentric nobleman, fome 
 years fince, walked up the choir of the 
 Abbey-church at Bath, during divine 
 fervice, with his hat on his head, and 
 being rebuked by the fexton, walked 
 down again, not in the leafl difcon- 
 certed. I do not imagine that <c God 
 was in all his thoughts ;" but it pro- 
 ceeded entirely from an ariflocratic 
 contempt of the pious plebeians there 
 afiembled. 
 
 When a bear, from the defarts of 
 
 Siberia, came into a farm-yard, and 
 
 law the poultry drinking at a pond, 
 
 and turning up their faces towards 
 
 d heaven 
 
34 ON PROFANENESS* 
 
 heaven at every lip, he might be fur- 
 prized at fo odd a cuftom ; but when 
 he was informed, that it was a religious 
 ceremony, u which from time imme- 
 morial, had been held facred and in - 
 difpenfableby them; none but a bear/" 
 as the cock fpiritedly told him > (i would 
 treat it with ridicule and contempt* in 
 the pre fence of thofe who practifed 
 it."* 
 
 Young people, fometimes, from 
 thoughtlefs levity, others from an illi- 
 beral buffoonery, treat with indecent 
 freedom what ferious perfons think de- 
 fending of reverence and refpect. Such 
 a ludicrous propenfity, if not awed by 
 authority, fhould be chaftifed with 
 fe verity. 
 
 A principal performer at a grand 
 concert, given by a late noble Earl at 
 his magnificent caftle, coming in after 
 his time, put up his hat before his 
 face, in imitation of our decent cuflorn 
 
 * Dodsley's Fables. 
 
 on 
 
ON PROFANENESSi 33 
 
 on coming into the church. The la- 
 dies were in raptures at his wit and 
 humour ; but his Lordfhip, whofe an- 
 ceflors had made France tremble, 
 fhould have given fuch a puppy fome 
 mortifying mark of his difpleafure, 
 and not have fuffered fuch an inde- 
 cency (at lead, if not profanenefs) to 
 have paffed unnoticed, before half the 
 nobility and gentry of the country. 
 
 To what a degree of depravity and 
 profanenefs mull fome of the late re- 
 publican rulers of France have arrived, 
 who could encourage a whole nation 
 to pay divine honours to two (trum- 
 pets, in the characters of Liberty and 
 Reafon, in the venerable cathedral of 
 Notre Dame at Paris; which for fo 
 many centuries had been held facred, 
 and dedicated to the fervice of % the fu- 
 preme Being ! 
 
 I have faid nothing ofprofane fwear- 
 
 ing in common converfation, becaufe it 
 
 ijs now baniftied from all good com- 
 
 r> 2 P an /? 
 
3^ ON PROFANENES8. 
 
 pany, and even civilized fociety, 
 amongft porters and draymen in pot- 
 houfes and brothels. And although 
 I have not been much converfant in 
 maritime affairs, I believe our naval 
 officers have now learned to manage 
 their boifterous fubjects by firm and 
 peremptory orders, without the ufe of 
 thofe tremendous oaths which were 
 formerly deemed indifpenfable inftru- 
 ments for maintaining their authority. 
 
 I could, almoft, forgive an honeft 
 tar, indeed, his familiar ufe of this pro- 
 fane language, becaufe it is generally 
 the overflowing of his benevolence. 
 If he <{ d-mns your eyes/' it is becaufe 
 he is glad to fee you ; and though he 
 c; d-mns your blood/' he would fpill 
 his own blood to fave your life. 
 
 The fe high-founding words, indeed, 
 feem, in general, to be no more than 
 unmeaning expletives ; and though ex- 
 tremely foolifh, can hardly be deemed 
 wicked, Yet, w£en an half-bred gen* 
 
 tleman, 
 
ON PROFANENESS. 37 
 
 tleman, through mere wantonnefs, pro- 
 fanes that name, which every one is 
 fuppofed to reverence, in polite, much 
 more in ferious and religious company; 
 he mould be treated as a military of- 
 ficer would, or mould, treat an ill-bred 
 fellow, who vented treafonable or dif- 
 refpectful expreflions againft the fo- 
 vereign whom he ferves. 
 
 But there is another fpecies of pro- 
 fanenefs, which, indeed, fuggefted the 
 idea of t'nis Effay, and which is too 
 common amongft decent people, I 
 mean the introducing on frivolous oc- 
 casions., as embellifhments to their dif— 
 courfe or writings, the expreffions or 
 allufions to the facred writings. 
 
 Yet, where only the peculiarity, or 
 perhaps, beauty of the phrafe is al- 
 luded to, and no difrefpect intended., 
 or any fentiment ridiculed,, though 
 there may not be much wit, there may 
 not be any profanenefs in the prac* 
 tice. 
 
 p 3 Mr, 
 
38 ON PROFANENESS. 
 
 Mr. Pope, who had had a religious 
 education, and, though a Catholic, was 
 well-verfed in the Scriptures, has fre- 
 quent allufions of this kind. Thus, 
 in his Defence of Poetry, amongfl 
 other ufes to which it has been ap- 
 plied, he mentions Pfalm-finging, and 
 its influence on the multitude. 
 
 <e — The blessing thrills through all the labouring 
 
 throng, 
 ce And { heaven is won by violence of song."* 
 
 And when he fays, in allufion to the 
 Beatitude, of thofe wretched Garreteers, 
 who undergo the diflrefs of martyrs 
 and confeflbrs, for a precarious fubfift- 
 tence, or for fame. 
 
 " Who hunger and who thirst for scribbling sake." 
 
 Though he makes free with the Scrip- 
 ture expreflion, it is only to {how the 
 folly of thofe votaries of dulnefs, who 
 
 • Alluding to Matt. xii. 11. n the violent take 
 it by force." 
 
 fuffer 
 
ON PROFANENESS. 39. 
 
 faflPer more for fame and famine, than 
 a good chriftian does for the happinefs 
 of heaven. Even in the following in- 
 fiance : 
 
 f What tho' thy worts an hundred hawkers load, 
 " On wings of wind come flying all abroad." 
 
 Though he alludes to a fublime idea 
 of the Divinity, it is merely Stern- 
 hold's expreffion which he parodies. 
 
 Of this plea then, and of this great 
 example, I would willingly avail my- 
 /elf; that if I have at any time, without 
 due attention, made ufe of any expref- 
 fions which may give offence to any 
 ferious or fenfible men ; or in the pre* 
 ceding EfTay, i( on the future condition 
 of the fexes," I have treated the fub- 
 jecl; in any part with unbecoming le- 
 vity ; I here declare, with regard to the 
 firit cafe, that no one can have a more 
 profound veneration for the facred 
 Scriptures than I have. And though 
 Mr. Paine fays, w he could have writ- 
 ten 
 
4? ON PROFANENESS. 
 
 ten a better book than the Bible/' I 
 defy him, and all the philofophers in 
 France, to produce a work ancient or 
 modern, of fo extenfive and multifa- 
 rious a kind, in which the hiftorical 
 part is written with greater beauty and 
 iimplicity, or from which a better fyf- 
 tem of politics, or (allowing for the 
 prevalence of fome opinions in dif- 
 ferent ages of the world) a purer fcheme 
 of morals can be extra&ed ; or 3 without 
 any exception, where an equal or fo 
 divine an inftitute of religion has been 
 offered to mankind. 
 
 And as to the fecond cafe, I alfo de- 
 clare, that no one has a more awful 
 fenfe of a future ftate of exiftence than 
 the author of this Eflay : And though 
 Dr. Prieftley's opinion of the fubjetfc 
 firfl fuggefled the hint of difcufling it, 
 in the progrefs it has really been a re- 
 ligious exercife, and has induced him 
 to reflect more ferioufly on that awful 
 fubjecl; than otherwise he probably 
 
 would 
 
ON PROFANENESS. 4* 
 
 would have done. And if any difTa- 
 tisfied beauty, or any defpairing dam- 
 fel, mould condefcend to perufe it with 
 attention, it may, he humbly hopes, 
 produce in them a fimilar effedt ; it 
 may prove falutary to the one, and 
 confolatory to the other. 
 
 OK 
 
42 ON DELICACY 
 
 ON 
 
 DELICACY OF MANNERS. 
 
 Delicacy conflfls in a nice fenfe of 
 propriety and decorum in our words 
 and actions, and a ftri6l attention not 
 to wound the feelings of our affociates 
 hy any expreffion, or to betray a want 
 of refpect by our behaviour, towards 
 thofe with whom we converfe. Deli- 
 cacy, though not a moral virtue, is at 
 leafl a focial duty, and of great import 
 tance to render our intercourfe with 
 each other a real enjoyment. 
 
 Delicacy does not require us to flat- 
 ter, or even to palliate the vices of our 
 acquaintances, but carefully to avoid 
 'giving them pain, by allufions to any 
 misfortunes or paft mifconducl, or to 
 any foible or Angularity, which may 
 happen to mark their perfon or their 
 character. 
 
 But 
 
OF MANNERS. 43 
 
 Bat delicacy alfo more particularly 
 obliges us to be cautious not to excite 
 any immodefl or unchafte ideas, or to 
 fuggeft by our actions or expreffions 
 any thing difguiling or offeniive to the 
 imagination. 
 
 The ancient Perfian, every one 
 knows, thought it indecent to fpit or 
 blow their .'ho fe in company, or to dis- 
 cover any other fymptom of Superflu- 
 ous humours, (the effect of immoderate 
 indulgence) in the habit of their bodies. 
 
 And the Mahometans, as an inftance 
 of delicacy in another refpecl, ufually 
 lit with their arms crofs'd on their 
 breafls, to prevent their touching any 
 part of their body which decency re- 
 quires to be concealed. 
 
 How often however do we offend, 
 from thoughtlefmefs or fome lefs ex- 
 cufeable motive, in all thefe refpecls ! 
 we daily behold people wantonly (port- 
 ing with the feelings of others, and not 
 only alluding to, but ridiculing, per- 
 
 haps, 
 
44 0N DELICACY 
 
 haps, the unavoidable or natural de- 
 feds or peculiarities of their company ! 
 cc They fcatter firebrands and arrows" 
 at random, if their dull and frigid con- 
 ceits may deferve that name ; and often 
 wound unintentially s perhaps, the 
 hearts of harmlefs individuals. 
 
 But, in mixt company, we cannot be 
 too much on pur guard in thefe in- 
 flances ; as by negligence and want of 
 thought we may happen to diflrefs our- 
 felves as much as the perfon who fuf- 
 fers by our random reflections. 
 
 I remember a very good-natured 
 man, who, at a public ordinary, was 
 cenfuring a reverend divine for his un- 
 governable paffions ; and giving a par- 
 ticular in fiance of an outrage he had 
 been guilty of in a paroxyfm of wrath. 
 V Why, it is very probable/' fays a 
 gentleman who fat near him, " for my 
 father was a choleric man" — "What! 
 is Dr, — — your brother, Sir? (I fin- 
 perely beg your pardon)— but though 
 
 the 
 
OF MANNERS. 4JJ 
 
 the Dr. is, as you exprefs it, a little 
 choleric, he is a very worthy man, and 
 we will drink his health," This was 
 rather a laughable affair. 
 
 But I never heard a more cruel in- 
 fiance of indelicacy than that in a lady 
 of rigid virtue, who, in a large com- 
 pany, having heard the name of a 
 lovely young creature, who fat near 
 her, exclaimed in a loud whifper, within 
 her hearing, u I hope this is not the 
 young woman who had a baftard not 
 long fince." — The poor girl, of courfe, 
 left the company into which fhe had 
 been admitted, from the peculiarity of 
 her fituation ; having been feduced 
 when ihe was hardly fourteen. The 
 lady of the houfe afked the accufer 
 how (he could be fo inhuman as to 
 fhock the poor young lady ? " A faucy 
 pufs," fays fhe, (K I was determined to 
 give her an hint of it" And indeed it 
 was rather an indelicate hint, and at 
 leafl unneceiTary, unlefs fhe had been 
 
 called 
 
4^ ON DELICACY 
 
 called upon to give her evidence in a 
 court of juilice. 
 
 As to exciting immodefl or difguft- 
 ing ideas, we ftill pride ourfelves upon 
 a (mart double entendre, or wanton al- 
 lufion ; we fpit upon the carpet, or 
 throw our legs on the table, and in- 
 dulge ourfelves in other contemptuous 
 attitudes, to the offence of well-bred 
 people. 
 
 But it is more efpecially incumbent; 
 on that lovely fex, who from the finer 
 texture of their nerves, have almoft an 
 inilinQive perception of what is inde- 
 licate ; and, by their charms, have fo 
 great an influence in refining our man- 
 ners, to avoid every fpecies of inde- 
 corum. And, indeed, they feem greatly 
 improved, within a few years, in this 
 refpect. 
 
 The affeQation of fpitting in their 
 pocket handkerchief in company; or, 
 at table, rummaging the remote cavities 
 of their mouth and gums with their 
 
 napkin 
 
• OF MANNERS. 47 
 
 napkin, and then boldly fquirting out 
 the. water into the glafs ; and fome 
 other indelicate cuftoras are now laid 
 afide : and perhaps it is rather inde- 
 licate to mention thefe particulars. 
 
 Nay, they appear to me to be run- 
 ning into the contrary extreme, of too 
 much refinement in fome refpecls. 
 And in an age not diftinguiflied for the 
 aufterity of the female character, or their 
 conjugal fidelity ; notwithstanding the 
 freedom of their actions, they feem ra- 
 ther too fqueamifh in their expreflions. 
 A lady who, in a figurative fenfe, is 
 known to wear the breeches., would not 
 for the world pronounce the word., 
 Not confidering that every word they 
 fubftitute in its place will, by convey- 
 ing the fame idea, foon become equally 
 obnoxious. We feem to be imitating 
 the French verbofi ty ; but, by our cir- 
 cumlocutions and foftening expreflions, 
 we are in danger of corrupting and di- 
 minifhing the force of our language. 
 
 Monfieur 
 
4$ ON DELICACY, &C, 
 
 Monfieur and Madame have not the 
 mod perfect regard for each other, fays 
 a Frenchman ; whereas a blunt Englifh- 
 man would fay, The man and his wife 
 hate one another confoundedly. 
 
 In fhort, though 
 
 " Immodest words admit of no pretence $'* 
 
 yet, as Swift obferves, that Cf nice peo- 
 pie have nafty ideas ;" fo thofe who 
 are too faftidioufly delicate may be 
 fufpe&ed to have indelicate ideas; and 
 hy too fcrupuloufly hefitating to calf 
 things by their appropriate names, may 
 excite immodeil thoughts in thofe they 
 converfe with, and produce the very 
 effeel: they would wifh to avoid. 
 
 Otf 
 
t 49 3 
 
 ON 
 THE MORAL SENSE. 
 
 By the Moral fenfe, every one knows 
 modern philofophers underftand an 
 inflin£tive perception of the beauty or 
 the deformity of virtuous or of vicious 
 actions, attended with approbation or 
 difguft, previoufly to any reflexion on 
 their confequences either to ourfelves 
 or to others. To this moral fenfe, 
 though differently expreffed, the an- 
 cient moralifts, particularly the philo- 
 fophical Cicero, frequently allude, as 
 do many of our writers of the lafl cen- 
 tury ; particularly the learned, though 
 fceptical, Lord Herbert, who fpeaks in 
 fuch high terms of certain innate prin- 
 ciples, or maxims of moral conduct, as 
 to fuperfede the neceffity of a Revela* 
 lion. 
 
 s Mr. 
 
£0 OF THE MORAL SENSE. 
 
 Mr. Loc ! c, therefore, having denied 
 the exiftence of any innate ideas, and 
 feeing the pernicious tendency of Lord 
 Herbert's opinion on this fubjecl;, of 
 courfe rejected all innate principles or 
 maxims either fpeculative or practical, 
 for which he is, rather indecently, ridi- 
 duled by his noble pupil, Lord Shafts* 
 bury ; who ftrongly infills upon- this 
 moral injlinti, at leaft, by which we in- 
 ftantaneoufly approve or difapprove of 
 certain actions, affections and charac- 
 ters ; in which he has been followed by 
 the Glafgow profeifor Huchefon and 
 others, whofe fentiments on this fubject 
 have been generally adopted. 
 
 Bifhop Warburton indeed makes this 
 inftinclive Moral fenfe, in conjunction 
 with the fitnefs of things, and their con« 
 formity to truth and the will of God, 
 one of the. three columns eflential to 
 the fupport of virtue and moral obli* 
 gation.* 
 
 * Burlamaghi does the same. B. ii. c. 3. 
 
 1 was 
 
OF THE MORAL SENSE. 51 
 
 I was not a little furprized and cha- 
 grined, therefore, to have my princi- 
 ples fhaken, and almofl overturned, by 
 the authority of fo judicious and lu- 
 minous a writer as Dr. Paley,* who, 
 though he fairly difcufTes the point, 
 and feems to give the flrength of the 
 arguments on each fide, yet he evi- 
 dently inclines to the oppofite opinion, 
 which he illuftrates by the very fame 
 inftances made ufe of by Mr. Lock, 
 though they bad been fully refuted, as 
 was fuppofed, by Huchefon and others. 
 
 As Dr. Paley, in flating the fubje6l 
 of the difpute, takes it for granted 
 that the Moral fcnfe and innate maxims 
 are only different expreflions for the 
 fame thing; this, as it appears to 
 me, has milled him, as in fome mea- 
 fure, I believe, it did Mr. Locke : 
 Since they neither of them diftinguifh 
 innate maxims of moral conduct ; — « 
 fuch as Lord Herbert had fpecified, 
 
 * Principles of Moral Philosophy, vol. i. p. 9. 
 £ 2 from 
 
,£2 ON THE MORAL SENSE. 
 
 from our natural feelings or inflin&ive 
 fenfations ; which furely are as differ- 
 ent as founds or colours from our fenfe 
 of hearing or feeing: The former be- 
 ing Truths, to which, though not in- 
 nate, we cannot refufe our affent, when 
 we underfland the terms and exercife 
 our reafoning faculties about them. 
 The latter is a mental faculty, which 
 anticipates reafon ; and feels inftantane* 
 ous pleafure or diftguft, from certain 
 actions or characters, which prefent 
 themfelves to our notice* 
 
 Thus, though we have no innate 
 idea, nor any fuch moral maxim or 
 propofition, implanted in our minds* 
 that " a generous aclion ought to be 
 approved ;" yet no one can fee or hear 
 of a good man's relieving a family in 
 diflrefs, or faving a friend from deftruc- 
 tion, without a fenfible pleafure and 
 the higheft approbation. 
 
 To difprove the univerfality of this 
 principle of the moral fenfe, Dr. Pale.y 
 
 produces 
 
ON THE MORAL SENSE. 53 
 
 produces the inftances quoted by Mr. 
 Locke, of feveral immoral opinions and 
 practices recorded by hiftorians, and 
 travellers, which have prevailed and 
 been publicly countenanced in different 
 countries and ages of the world. Yet 
 none, of thefe, I think, '-prove, that the 
 generality of mankind have not the 
 moral fenfe, any more than the .many 
 irrational practices which abound. in thfi 
 world prove, that .mankind in general 
 are abfolutely void of reafon. It feems, 
 indeed, as if thefe writers were biafled 
 in favour of their own hypothecs, to 
 lay any ilrefs on the opinions or prac-i. 
 fices of a few favages, or of men, but 
 one remove from the brute creation, and 
 whofe real opinions it may be difficult 
 to difcover. 
 
 Education and cuflom may obliterate 
 the impreffions of. nature, and habit 
 ufurp her place. Self-interefl or am-> 
 bition frequently induce men to violate 
 tjie dictates of humanity, and to fiifle 
 e 3 the 
 
£3 ON THE MORAL SENSE* 
 
 the tenderer! feelings of nature. Yet 
 we never read of the expofmg of chil- 
 dren, forinftance, but in oppofition to 
 the reluctance of the mother, and the 
 companion of the inftruments in fuch 
 unnatural fervices. Nor can we fup- 
 pofe, that any barbarian could ever ex- 
 pofe to death an infirm or aged parent, 
 without the utmofl compunction and 
 horror, even when fuch lliocking pro- 
 ceedings had been fan6lioned by cuf- 
 tom. 
 
 As for what Dr, Paley fays of chil- 
 dren, that <€ they acquire thefe moral 
 fentiments and expreuions of affection 
 and concern from imitation." To this 
 I can only anfwer, that I have feen in* 
 numerable inftances, where, at a very 
 early age, children have expreffed 
 themfelves flrongly interefted in acts 
 of generofity, benevolence, or heroic 
 courage, in the tales of giants Or fanes, 
 which have been told or read to them ; 
 which, in my opinion, unequivocally 
 
 proves 
 
ON THE MORAL SENSE. ££ 
 
 proves them to have been pofTeffed of 
 this moral inftincl:, independently of 
 any imitation or in ft ruction, or any- 
 other caufe than the genuine feelings of 
 nature. 
 
 In fhort, I am perfuaded that Dr. 
 Paley muft deteft the inference which 
 a Mandeville or a Voltaire would draw 
 from his opinion on this .fubje£t, that 
 Virtue and Vice are dependent on edu- 
 cation, cuftom or fafhion.* Nor would 
 the author of the <f Horae Paulinae" 
 and the tf Evidences of Chriftianity," 
 countenance Hume's fcepticifm, or 
 any opinion hoflile to revelation. 
 
 I do not fee, therefore, what the 
 quotation from Hume's Principles of 
 Morals is intended to prove : Nor why 
 Dr. Paley, in his dedication to Bifhop 
 Law, fhould "wifli to difcard every 
 article from Chriflianity that contra- 
 diets our experience/' which is the very 
 argument that Hume oppofes to the 
 belief of miracles. 
 * Hog Ithacus velit et magno mercentur achivi* Vir, 
 
$6 ON THE MORAL SENSE. 
 
 An unfkilful advocate may injure a 
 good caufe. But I wifh this fubjeft 
 of a moral Jcnfe were difcuffed by a 
 more able hand, or revifed by Dr. 
 Paley himfelf ; as, I make no doubt, 
 he would gladly retract any hypothecs 
 which tended to undermine, or in the 
 leaft degree to weaken the fupports of 
 moral virtue* 
 
 THEATRIC©* 
 
C 57 1 
 
 THEATRICO-MANIA; 
 
 •AN ESSAY 
 ON THE RAGE 
 
 FOR 
 
 PRIVATE THEATRICAL EXHIBITIONS, 
 
 < 
 
 tc Time was, a sober Englishman would knock 
 His servants up, and rise by five o'clock : 
 Instruct his family in Virtue'?, rule; 
 And send his wife to church his son to school. 
 
 Now times are chang'd — ■ 
 Sons, sires, and grandsires, all will wear the bays. 
 Our wives read Milton and our daughters Plays:" 
 
 Pope's Epistles. 
 
 Thus it was in Pope's time ; and thus 
 far was not much amifs : Though their 
 daughters read plays, we do not find 
 that they attempted to aB, them. But 
 in our times, not only our daughters, 
 but our wives, our mothers and our 
 grandmothers, I do not fay read,- but 
 
 aB 
 
£8 THEATRICO-MANIA. 
 
 aft plays. And we may fay, in a lite- 
 ral fenfe, what Shakfpeare's melancholy 
 Jaques fays in a figurative one : 
 
 " AH the world s a stage, 
 And all the men and women merely players/' 
 
 There is hardly a family in high or 
 low life, that has not its theatre of fomc 
 land or other, and its occafional per- 
 formers. Not only Brandeburgh-houfe, 
 hnt many a noble houfe of lefs noto- 
 riety is frequently opened for thefe 
 dramatic exhibitions* Thither you fee 
 affetnbled animals of every defcription, 
 like thofe in Noah's ark, clean and un- 
 clean i pure and impure ; grave and 
 gay ; gamblers and grumblers ; who, 
 dilfatisfied with themfelves and every 
 thing around them, take refuge here* 
 driven from home through dread of 
 folitude, and that green-eyed monfter 
 JEnnuie. 
 
 If their magnificent feats in the 
 country be the fcene of action, which 
 
 fome 
 
THEATRICO-MANXA. 59 
 
 fome few of our nobility and gentry ftill 
 prefer to a dirty lodging at Brighton or 
 Margate : or, at lead, when driven from 
 the metropolis by the duft in fummer, 
 and from the fea-ports by the equinoc- 
 tial rains in Autumn ; they contrive to 
 fupport themfelves for a month or two 
 by giving their rural retreat fome re- 
 femblance of a public place ; and col- 
 lecting a croud of half-civilized lavages 
 from the furrounding neighbourhood, 
 to fee the raree-ihow and applaud their 
 performances. 
 
 Hence the humour has fpread itfelf 
 amongfl their tenants fons and daugh- 
 ters ; who, in imitation of their right 
 honourable or right worfhipful neigh- 
 bours, fpout heroics in their barns, 
 with as much vehemence, though not 
 always with fo much correclpefs * of 
 
 * A friend of mine was present at one of these 
 Thespian exhibitions, when a young swain thus 
 addressed a recruiting serjeant, " Sur, I undur- 
 jtand you have lately made a campag-ne." &C. 
 
 elocution,, 
 
6o THEATRICO-MANIA, 
 
 elocution, as their landlords have done 
 i€ in hall or bower," 
 
 As for the praclice fo much in vogue 
 pf late in our public fchools of per- 
 forming Englijh plays, I know not what 
 to fay. It is countenanced Jby perfons 
 of fo much fenfe and refpeclability^ 
 and -on fuch plaufible arguments, that 
 I Ihould think it the height of pre- 
 emption abfolutely to condemn it. 
 
 "As mod boys, who have a clafFical 
 education, fay they, are intended to 
 jpeak either at the bar or in the pulpit, 
 or perhaps in the fenate-houie, they 
 cannot be too foon habituated to fpeak 
 in public. It gives them a proper con-? 
 fidence and an unembaraffed elocution» 
 A man will never excel as an orator 
 (ibmebody hasobferved) who does not 
 confider his audience as fo many cab- 
 bage Hems.'* 
 
 This is very true: But let them, 
 therefore, be accufiomed to repeat with 
 a proper emphafis and in a graceful 
 
 manner^ 
 
THEATRICO-MANIA, 6t 
 
 irianner, fome parts of the orations of 
 Cicero, or fpeeches in Saluft, or even 
 the debates of our Britiih Senators: or, 
 if you pleafe, fome pafTages from our 
 foefl tragedies, or from the Latin or 
 £nglifti poets, with appropriate gef— 
 tures and fome degree of aBion. But 
 I do not fee any good end it can an- 
 fwer 3 to make a boy a mimic or a buf- 
 foon. Every man mould be a good 
 fpeaker, but why mull every man be a 
 good adt.or ? 
 
 Yet Rofcius, you will fay, was Ci- 
 cero's mailer in a£lion % as well as in 
 fpeaking. -ABion % no doubt, was of 
 great fervice to a pleader in popular 
 affemblies, fuch as thofe of Rome and 
 Athens. Yet the natural modefly and 
 good fenfe of an Englifli audience can 
 never be pleafed with any violent gesti- 
 culation. And the mob, who are fo 
 much captivated by the harangues of 
 the Tabernacle, are affected more by 
 the appearance of the preacher's being 
 
 in 
 
62 THEATRICO-MANXA. 
 
 in earned, than by his thumping the 
 cufhion and his vociferation. And if 
 the London clergy of the eftablifhment 
 would add a little more vehemence to 
 their compofed and decent attitudes, I 
 am convinced they would have more 
 hearers and more admirers. 
 
 But there is one objection to thefe 
 dramatic reprefentations in grammar 
 fchools,which perhaps maybe peculiarly 
 io to me, that fome of the boys muft ne- 
 celTarily be metamorphofed, for the time, 
 into the other fex. And though I have 
 been rather pleafed with the partiality 
 of a fond mother, delighted to fee what 
 an handfome girl her booby fon would 
 make, it is to me a difgufting fight. 
 
 Not to mention, that the applaufe 
 which they are fure to receive from, 
 perhaps, an interefled audience, muft 
 naturally excite their youthful vanity, 
 and make them coxcombs. And I 
 have known more than one inftance 
 where, when a boy had performed his 
 
 part 
 
THEATRICO-MANIA. 63 
 
 part to admiration, he has flattered 
 himfelf that his education was finimed, 
 and has become idle and diflipated ever 
 after. 
 
 An equally ferious confequence of 
 tliefe performances in great fchools, of 
 which we fee many inflances, is the en- 
 couraging young lads, intended for 
 more creditable employments, in com* 
 mencing ftrollers, and making it their 
 profeffion, to the difappointment of 
 their parents, and the perverfion and 
 mifapplication of talents, which might 
 have been employed for more ufeful 
 purpofes. 
 
 But fo fond are we of every thing 
 theatrical, that our young ladies of 
 rank, inftead of the graceful movements 
 of the minuet or the Louvre*, in which 
 
 * There is something in the music of that 
 dance, as well as the graceful attitudes, which al- 
 ways gave me a grand idea of the court of Lewes 
 the XIV. which, by all accounts, was far less li- 
 centious than the nocturnal revels of the French. 
 Republic. 
 
 their 
 
64 THEATRICO-MANIA; 
 
 their grandmothers appeared to fo 
 much advantage, are now taught to 
 emulate the dancers of the flage; and, 
 what is worfe, it is to be feared, their 
 inJiruBoreJfes in thefe dances will in- 
 troduce, not only the facinating atti- 
 tudes and loofe drapery, but the vo- 
 luptuous morals of the French nation. 
 As for the general effect which thofe 
 private theatrical exhibitions may have 
 in forming the character and influenc- 
 ing the conduct of the riling generation, 
 I mall only obferve, that whatever 
 moral precepts our modern dramatic 
 writers may inculcate ; yet, as the green- 
 rooms of our public theatres, were 
 never reckoned fchools of rigid virtue; 
 fo, I am afraid, the private apartments 
 in noblemen's and gentlemen's houfes, 
 where the young people retire to change 
 their dreffes and the like, have been" 
 productive of more than one intrigue, 
 and elopements, and improper mar- 
 riages, to the diftrefs of families, and 
 
 bfteft, 
 
THEATRICO-MANIA. . &$ 
 
 often, perhaps, the ruin of the thought- 
 lefs parties themfelves. 
 
 This prevailing rage for theatrical 
 reprefentations feems to have taken its 
 rife from the fame fource as fafhions in 
 general ; from a natural delire of imi- 
 tating what we admire in thofe who 
 fhine or are fuppofed to excel in any- 
 art, accomplifhment, or natural endow- 
 ment. Thus, a young lady and gentle-, 
 man are ftricken with the romantic 
 characters and elegant representation of 
 Romeo and Juliet; or, perhaps, the 
 former with the Fair Penitent, and the 
 latter with the gallant, gay Lothario $ 
 and they immediately flatter themfelves 
 that they mall refpedfcively fhine, and 
 be admired in the fame characters. 
 
 This fondnefs for imitating what we 
 admire in others, indeed, extends itfelf 
 through almoft every department of 
 life. 
 
 A fpirited young dowager is pleafed 
 
 with the triumphant air and elevated 
 
 f fituatioB 
 
66 THEATRICO-MANIA. 
 
 fituation of her coachman on his box. 
 Immediately fhe wraps herfelf up in an 
 horfeman's coat, with a feven-fold 
 cape, mounts her phaston, flourifhes 
 her whip, -and 
 
 " Graceful as John, she moderates the reins, 
 " And whistles sweet her diuretic strains. 
 
 Young's Sat. 
 
 Another handfome woman is fmitten 
 with the helmet of a young volunteer, 
 and gets her milliner to make her a 
 bonnet fomewhat fimilar to it: This 
 probably has introduced the univerfal 
 fafhion of the flraw fcull-cap, refem- 
 bling the bafkethilt of a cudgel -player. 
 But fafhions are like quack-medicines ; 
 what becomes one woman may be fatal 
 to the charms of another. As we can- 
 not fee too much of a pretty woman's 
 face; fo the lefs is feen of a plain wo- 
 man's the better. The prevalence of 
 fafhion, however, is equally applicable 
 I to both fexes. But as this is a digreflion 
 
 from 
 
THEATRICO-.MANIA. 6j 
 
 from my fubjecl:, I fhall only add, that 
 if a man who has been abfent from his 
 country feven years, were now to return 
 to England, and to fee our ladies in 
 their fcull-caps and pellices, and the 
 gentlemen in their pantaloons, he 
 would think they were dreffed for a 
 mafquerade ; or rather that an epi- 
 demic frenzy had infected the whole 
 beau-monde. jtro 
 
 Though I have kept chiefly to the 
 literal fenfe in this Effay, I mail con- 
 clude it with one obvious moral, fo 
 often inculcated by Epictetus, Anto- i 
 ninus, and the other Stoic philosophers, 
 ,e Remember that you are to act a part 
 in the drama of life, at the will of the 
 manager; whether that of a patrician 
 or a plebeian. Your bulinefs is to act 
 the part allotted you to the bed of your 
 abilities : To allot the part is the bu- 
 finefs of the manager." 
 
 Let thefe candidates for fame then, 
 
 thefe tragi-comic performers of either 
 
 f 2 fex, 
 
68 THEATRICO-MANIA. 
 
 fex, endeavour to perform with pro* 
 priety their feveral parts in the relative 
 duties of life ; as fons and daughters ; 
 hufbands and wives ; or mailers and 
 miflreffes of families, And, inflead 
 of intruding into, and perhaps injure 
 ing the poor player in his profefTion ; 
 and inftead of *-! ftrutting their hour on 
 the ftage/' to gain the momentary ap- 
 plaufe of a frivolous audience, let them 
 flrive to acquire the conftant approba- 
 tion and efleem of the got d and wife, 
 who are the fpectators of their con- 
 duct, And, above all, of the great 
 Mailer of the drama of life, who has 
 allotted them their parts, and is the 
 only competent judge of their per- 
 formance, and capable of aligning 
 them an adequate reward. 
 
 oil 
 
[ 69 ] 
 
 ON 
 
 CONVERSATION. 
 
 Si I hate a j&oJ-companion with a good memory." 
 
 There cannot be a more fevere fatire 
 on the ufual flrain of convivial conver- 
 fation, than is implied in this proverbial 
 maxim of the ancient Greeks. It be- 
 trays a confcioufnefs of the trifling, if 
 not abfurd, or reprehenhble kind of 
 communication which too often pre- 
 vails on thofe occafions. The molt 
 cautious and referved, in the freedom 
 of focial intercourfe, frequently let fall 
 fome remarks or expreffions which they 
 would wifh to recall, or would b'uih to 
 have remembered or repeated. And the 
 herd of jovial companions generally 
 talk at random, or indulge themfelves 
 in fuch incoherent unmeaning loqua- 
 f 3 city, 
 
JO ON CONVERSATION. 
 
 city, as can neither be remembered nor 
 repeated. As they facrifice more to 
 Bacchus than to Minerva, their wine 
 puts Wifdom to flight, and Folly reigns 
 triumphant. 
 
 <e I drank 5 I liked it not $ 'twas rage, 'twas noise. 
 " An airy scene of transitory joys. 
 " And when, at dawn of day, fair Reason's light 
 " Broke thro' the fumes and phantoms of the night, 
 " What had been a aid ? I asked myself." Prior. 
 
 In general, indeed, thofe agreeable 
 converfations which we daily hear men- 
 tioned as having been enjoyed even in 
 the fociety of diftinguifhed characters, 
 if rigidly fcrutinized, would, probably, 
 fall far fhort of our expectation. I 
 never had the honour of being ad^. 
 mitted to the allembly of the has bleu 
 club, which confifls of the moil cele- 
 brated female characters in the kinsf- 
 dom. But from thofe who have en- 
 joyed that felicity, I have heard that 
 the converfation often turned upon 
 faftiions, the occurrences of the day, 
 
 , and 
 
ON CONVERSATION. yi 
 
 and other chit-chat which prevails in 
 other female aiTemblies. 
 
 In fo numerous a mixed company, 
 indeed, ! where every one comes full 
 charged with literature and fcience, 
 ready primed for 'cxp'lcfion, a little 
 harmlefs fmall-talk a'tnong the lefs en- 
 lightened members, may be better than 
 one general difcharge of wit and learn- 
 ing from the whole atTembly, which 
 mud neceiTarily produce a Babel of 
 confufion. 
 
 But, what ! then, are we to believe, 
 that the obfervations of fome of our bed 
 writers is unfounded ? <C -Tha| the hours 
 fpent in convfrfation with o&r friends, 
 are fome of the moft delightful portions 
 of our cxiftence/' By no means; what 
 I would infmuate is, that wtten a nu- 
 merous concourfe of individuals, un- 
 connected and of different difpofitions, 
 is adernbied together in one company ; 
 each ambitious of difplaying his elo- 
 quence and gaining attention, or ob- 
 truding 
 
J2 ON CONVERSATION* 
 
 truding his intelligence of frivolous 
 occurrences, uninterefling to the com- 
 pany, though, perhaps, gratifying to 
 himfelf, this may be called talking, or 
 haranguing, or what you pleafe, but 
 hardly merits the name of converfation. 
 
 As for thofe tumultuous afTemblies 
 called routs, we might as well expeft 
 edifying converfation from a flight of 
 martins and fwallows on the eve of 
 their migration, as from fuch a multi- 
 farious concourfe of fluttering fops, 
 and flaunting flirts as are there ufually 
 crowded together. An evening at a 
 tavern is generally fpent in an equally 
 inugnificant, though, perhaps, more 
 joyous and fociable, and lefs formal 
 flyle of converfation. 
 
 But when a fmall circle of friends 
 and acquaintance, of nearly equal rank 
 and of fimilar difpofitions and habits 
 of life meet together, defirous to pleafe 
 and to be pleafed, the reciprocal commu- 
 nication of fentiments and obfervations, 
 
 with 
 
ON CONVERSATION. 73 
 
 with kindnefs and good-humour, can- 
 not but be highly pleahng and improv- 
 ing to all parties. But the ufual error 
 of too many is a defire to mine, rather 
 than to inform, and to pleafe them- 
 felves rather than their company, by 
 engroffing more than their due ihare of 
 the converfation. 
 
 They have no defire to be informed 
 or divefled themfelves, but think thofe 
 the mod agreeable companions who 
 will patiently attend to their iupe- 
 rior wifdom, and admire their fplen- 
 did talents, and applaud their elo- 
 quence. 
 
 This accounts for the gratification 
 which the French lady received from 
 the vilit of Triilram Shandy. She de- 
 clared to every one fhe met, f< that file 
 never had a more improving conversa- 
 tion, than with that gentleman, though 
 (fays he) the lady had all the converfa- 
 tion to herfelf ; for, I call heaven to 
 
 witnefs, 
 
74 ON CONVERSATION. 
 
 witnefs, that not five words paffed my 
 lips." 
 
 We may conclude then, I think, that 
 the pleafure which we receive from 
 the conversation of a circle of friends, 
 does not arife from the fine things 
 which are faid, the ftirewd obfervations 
 which are made, the learning which is 
 fhewn, or the wit which is difplayed, 
 io much as from the benevolent difpo-' 
 fition, and the exercife of the kind af- 
 fections* which accompany this friendly 
 intercom' fe, and the eafe and freedom 
 with which every one delivers his fen- 
 timents, propofes his doubts, or unbo- 
 foms himfelf, of any remarks which he 
 may have made, and which he wifhes 
 to commu.iicatc. Wiisn, therefore, 
 you. may have met with this refined 
 gratification, and enjoyed an Attic en- 
 tertainment, do not boaft of your good 
 fortune, nor tell every one you meet 
 
 * Amicorum conspectus ipse delectat. Seneca. 
 
 what 
 
ON CONVERSATION. 75 
 
 what an agreeable converfation, or de- 
 lightful evening you have fpent; and 
 how merry or how facetious you were ; 
 much lefs give any fpecimea of your 
 good cheer ; for the wit qt humour 
 of what is faid depends on fo many 
 circumftances of time and place, that. 
 it is ten to one, but what " fet the ta- 
 ble in a roar" at night, will appear very- 
 infipid in the morning, and what you 
 relate may be received with cold indif- 
 ference, and expofe yourfeif to the 
 fneers, and your friends to the ridicule 
 of perfons entirely uninterested in your 
 unfeaionable narrative. 
 
 AN 
 
C 76 ] 
 
 AN 
 
 OPPRESSIVE TAX. 
 
 This accumulated tax on Port-wine 
 is a very ferious affair ; it is taxing the 
 neceffaries of life; and ftrikes at the 
 very root of all conviviality, good-fel- 
 low fhip, and Chriilian benevolence. 
 Every profeffion, Law, Phyfic, and Di- 
 vinity, and men of every rank, the 
 country gentleman^ and gentleman- 
 farmer, mull feel the baneful effects 
 of it. 
 
 Not to mention the great pleaders at 
 the bar, to whom plenty of wine is ef~ 
 fential, and muffc be had at any price, 
 to overcome their ufuai balhfulnefs, 
 when the liberty and property of their 
 clients are at flake ; how can a country 
 attorney attend market, arid accompliili 
 his benevolent purpofe, of reconciling 
 his neighbours, and making peace be- 
 tween 
 
AN OPPRESSIVE TAP. JJ 
 
 tween contending parties, without his 
 bottle of port at the rofe and crown? 
 
 What phyfician of eminence could 
 ever write claffical Latin, or prefcribe 
 intelligibly, till he was infpired by a 
 bottle of port ? So that the health and 
 life of his Majefiy's fubje&s is really 
 implicated in that pernicious tax. 
 
 And how cruel it is to deprive a poor 
 country divine of a comfortable glafs 
 after the duty of the day ; when he has 
 been exhauiling his fpirits in preaching 
 up temperance and fobriety, with the 
 utmoft exertion, for ten, twelve, and 
 fometimes, perhaps, ffteen minutes, 
 without intermiilion ? 
 
 And how can a poor farmer, fince 
 the reduction of the price of corn by 
 the arbitrary proceedings of the legifla- 
 ture,* afford him f elf a bottle of Pourt, 
 when probably he has two or three 
 daughters, who cannot attend divine 
 
 • la the last scarcity of corn. 
 
 fervice 
 
78 AN OPPRESSIVE TAX. 
 
 fervice for want of a muilin chemife, or 
 lilk petticoat ? 
 
 But, after all, fupplies muft be raifed, 
 and taxes be impofed on the neceffaries 
 as well as luxuries of life : let us then 
 make the baft of what cannot be 
 avoided. 
 
 Perhaps, the dearnefs of wine may- 
 be attended with the fame beneficial 
 effe&s as the late fcarcity of bread j and 
 make us more fparing in the ufe of it, 
 or find fome fubftitute in its room. 
 
 Let the ladies then, after dinner, be 
 content with three glaifes, the number 
 of the Graces j and the gentlemen with 
 nine, the number of the Mufes. 
 
 The tafte for Port-wine, like that for 
 tobacco, is an acquired tafte; and Tip- 
 ping glafs after glafs a mere idle habit. 
 If a man then cannot quit his feat at 
 table till he has tippled his hour, and 
 cannot afford a pint of port v let him 
 have his pot of port-er; or, if the half- 
 penny 
 
AN OPPRESSIVE TAX. y§ 
 
 penny additional tax diflrefs him, let 
 him fmoke a dry pipe; or, as children 
 fometimes do, let this habitual toper 
 fuck his thumb, till he fink into a 
 pleafmg (lumber, and 
 
 " Tipples imaginary pots of ale," 
 
 and lofes all fenfe of taxes, of the toils 
 and troubles of life, in profound ob- 
 livion. 
 
 SUSPICION 
 
£ so ] 
 
 SUSPICIOUS MEETING. 
 
 Late* anguis in herba. Virg. 
 
 vVhen thofe tumultuous afTemblies, 
 called routs are daily multiplying in 
 Bath and all the provincial towns, as 
 well as in the metropolis, and which 
 evidently come within the aft. againfl 
 Seditious Meetings; it behoves the ma- 
 giftrates to keep a watchful eye on their 
 proceedings. For, as there appears no 
 vifible motive, either of pleafure or of 
 emolument, for five or fix hundred 
 people crowding together, in hot rooms* 
 at thefe no&urnal meetings, depend 
 upon it, there is fome fecret confpiracy 
 that fliuns the light, lurking under this 
 appearance of apathy and diffipation. 
 
 A great part of the company indeed 
 Jeem to be no otherways employed than 
 in (trolling up and down the rooms* 
 
 and 
 
suspicious meeting; 8t 
 
 and flaring at each other with unmean- 
 ing vacant faces : yet there are certainly 
 fo me dark defigns and diabolical ma- 
 chinations carrying on in thofe little 
 juntos in the corner of the room, and 
 behind the curtains in the bow-windows. 
 
 There are, indeed, four (I fup.pofe 
 emigrant) Crowned Heads and their 
 Royal Conforts, who generally attend 
 thefe affemblies ; and who may be 
 thought a fufficient pledge for the loy- 
 alty of the company. But there are 
 likewife fome fly, defigning knaves, and 
 ill-looked fellows in fliort great coats, 
 who, befides the fufpicion of their 
 Healing hearts, and pilfering diamonds, 
 under pretence of gallantry, have, pro- 
 bably, fome political fcheme to put in 
 execution. They have no fire-arms, 
 indeed, but they have fome fhort clubs 
 and concealed weapons, which feem to 
 indicate fome murderous intention. 
 
 In fhort, the Magifirates fhould not 
 
 only attend thefe dangerous affemblies, 
 
 & which 
 
82 SUSPICIOUS MEETING. 
 
 which (to do them juftice, they gene- 
 rally do); but they fhould alfo inveft the 
 Chairmen with conjlabularian authority, 
 that they may be at hand in cafe of any 
 treafonable or burglarious practices ; to 
 prevent any feditious harangues againfl 
 the government or the conftitution ; or 
 any violation of the fccurity of locks and 
 keys, or domeflic padlocks, and the 
 like felonious attrocities* 
 
 NARRATIVE 
 
[ 83 ] 
 
 NARRATIVE 
 
 OF 
 
 AN ALARMING OCCURRENCE 
 
 SAID TO HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT BATH, OCT. 3> 
 ±797* 
 
 Many perfons how living can proba- 
 bly remember the condensation and 
 confufion occafioned in Bath, about 
 fifty years fince, by a piece of humour 
 of the honourable John Spencer, who 
 having bribed the chairmen/ to feize 
 and tie up all the turnfpits on a Sun- 
 day morning (for jacks were then hardly 
 known or little ufed in Bath) : out 
 came the fober citizens in their night 
 gowns and flippers, while the bell was 
 tolling for church ; " Neighbour," fays 
 one, " did you fee my turnfpit?" 
 tff No," replies the other* " I was look- 
 ing after my own.*' The fame ques- 
 tion and anfwer circulated through 
 g % every 
 
84 ANT ALARMING 
 
 every ftreet in Bath ; and many an ho-» 
 neft family was difappointed of their 
 Sunday's dinner. 
 
 Such was the alarm and confuiion 
 yeiterday morning, on certain intelli- 
 gence having arrived by the mail, of 
 the tax on time-pieces, on clocks and 
 watches. For every automaton or felf- 
 moving machine of that kind in the 
 city, by a fort of fympathetic inflincl;, 
 immediately took fright, and either 
 ftood motionlefs with horror, or flew 
 off in every poffible direction, back- 
 wards and forwards ; too fail or too 
 flow ; and all in the wrong. 
 
 i( Can you tell me what a clock it is/* 
 fays one ? ff My clock ftands flill." 
 <f So does my watch," fays the other; 
 Cf for I am not worth a clock." "Why, 
 my watch is almofl £w0," ( a y s a third; 
 « and my roaft beef is juft going upon 
 the table." ff Zounds!" fays the firft 
 man, cr my maid has not fpitted the 
 loin of veal ; and we fhall not be ready 
 
 for 
 
OCCURRENCE, #£ 
 
 for church." fi Forchurch! you fool," 
 fays a by-ftander ; " the fir ft bell has 
 not rung; the abbey-clock has flood 
 flili ever fince the poll came in.; and 
 the fexton is running up and down j-n*. 
 quiring what hour it. is ; an$d .fays* -the 
 curate (though as meek as Mofes) is : in, 
 a perilous pafhon, having waited -in the 
 veftry this half -hour,'' My y )amm, 
 .which I always fet -at five o'clock in, 
 the morning to call me up to my-, flu- 
 dies, took the -alarm* and ran flown at 
 twelve o'clock at noon,: as f$ the devil 
 had been in ; him. r Nay ; .the kitchen. 
 jack, which calls the kitchen, clock, his 
 brother, as they both fpring from the 
 fa.of' the.fame blackfrnitlr, (Wore, 
 " he would not ftir an inch, while the 
 clock flood flill and did nothing/' 
 
 In this confufion they all concurred 
 to curfe the war, which, faid they, is 
 the caufe of all our misfortunes, Let 
 the French cut each others throats, if 
 £hey like it, and guillotine the whole 
 Q J illufirious 
 
86 AN ALARMING, &C 
 
 illuftrious houfe of Bourbon; but to 
 have our Sunday's dinner fpoiled in 
 this manner, is an home-felt calamity, 
 and may juftly be reckoned amongft 
 the horrors of war. 
 
 While they were in this diftrefs, a 
 tradefman, whofe private affairs were 
 fo far deranged by his attention to po- 
 litics and the public welfare, that he 
 could only appear on a Sunday, hear- 
 ing the fubjecl of their complaint, bid 
 them, in a low voice, not beuneafy; 
 for that the French would land in a 
 few months, and reftore liberty, and 
 free us from the burden of thefe arbi- 
 trary taxes. This produced a difpute 
 with a friend to our government, and 
 foon difperfed the affembly. 
 
 TRIFLING 
 
C 8; ] 
 
 TRIFLING CRITICISMS. 
 
 It is a well-known facl:, that the great 
 critic, the learned Dr. Bentley, fre- 
 quently obferves, in his editions of 
 Horace and of Milton, that if his au- 
 thors did not, they ought to have ex- 
 preffed themfelves as he corrects the 
 text. And Bifhop Warburton fome- 
 times intimates the fame in his edition 
 of Shakefpear. 
 
 Although thefe great men have been 
 fufficiently ridiculed for their prefump- 
 tion, I cannot forbear hazarding a flil! 
 more bold conjecture than either of 
 them, on the very firft line of Milton's 
 Paradife loft. 
 
 " Of man's first disobedience, and the fruit 
 " Of that forbidden tree, whose mortal taste 
 U Brought death into the world," &c. 
 
 Now, inftead of the heavy word, dif~ 
 obedience, I cannot but think he had 
 better have written, 
 
 "Of 
 
88 TRIFLING CRITICISMS. 
 
 fc Of man's first, great transgression, and the 
 fruit/' &c. 
 
 And for the following reafons. The 
 word " difobeditnce" is a general ab~ 
 flract term; arid feems to exprefs the 
 habit y rather ithani any Jingle aB of dif- 
 obedience. Thus of a fon or a fervant, 
 he ought not to be punifhed for the 
 Jirji or fecond dijobedience, but the firfl 
 or fecond aB of difobediertce. 
 
 I am aware that Horace, and the 
 fcefl critics, have eftablifhed it as a 
 rule, that the exordium of an epic 
 poem mould be plain and Ample, 
 merely to give the reader a general idea 
 of the fuhjecl. But this precept is only 
 oppofed to that pompous ftyle, in 
 which fome writers begin their works, 
 and which generally raifes expectation, 
 that in the fequel they feldom gratify. 
 
 After criticifipg Milton, I may ven- 
 ture, perhaps, to mention an equally 
 trifling particular in the theatrical con- 
 
 dua 
 
TRIFLING CRITICISMS. 89 
 
 du£t of the brightefl ornament of the 
 Englifh. ftage, the late Mr. Garrick; 
 though, indeed, it is fo very a trifle, 
 that I fhould not have taken notice of 
 it if the authority of fo great an exam- 
 ple were not daily fpreading the infec- 
 tion. 
 
 What I allude to, h the laying the 
 accent on the firfl fyllable of the ,wor<i 
 '« perfume ;" becaufe Shakefpear in 
 Qthello does fo in ope infiance, as he 
 lays it wrong on half a dozen words in 
 the fame play ; but in n the Taming 
 the Shrew," he lays it on the lafl fyl- 
 lable : 
 
 * For she is sweeter than perfume itself.'' 
 
 And he lays the accent on the lafl fyl- 
 lable of the verb in the preceding lines. 
 Why then fhould any modern poet 
 . be guilty of fuch affe&ation in oppofi- 
 tion to the invariable practice of Pope, 
 Addifon, Swift, and every other writer 
 in verfe or profe. And furely Dr. 
 
 John fon's 
 
90 TRIFLING CRITICISMS. 
 
 Johnfon's authority, in his dictionary, 
 is at leaft equal to his friend Garrick's 
 in pronunciation. 
 
 Having mentioned Shakefpear, I take 
 this opportunity of obferving, that no 
 commentator, I believe, has taken no- 
 tice of a remarkable expreffion of his 
 in the defcription of a young lady in 
 love : 
 
 1 " She pined in thought, 
 
 " And with a green and yellow melancholy 
 " She sate, like Patience on a monument, 
 << Smiling at Grief." 
 
 Mr. Pope omitted the expreffion of 
 " green and yellow melancholy," in a 
 quotation, as of no confequence. But 
 as mod of the monuments, in that part 
 of the country where Shakefpear was 
 born, are made of alabafter of a pale 
 yellow call, it contracts a greenifh, 
 mould in a damp church, and, I make 
 no doubt, fuggeiled that idea. 
 
 unseason* 
 
[9i ] 
 
 UNSEASONABLE GALLANTRY, 
 
 Turpe senex miles, turpe sterilis amor. 
 
 N ever was a greater compliment paid 
 to beauty, fays Madam Dacier 3 than 
 that which Homer has made in his 
 Iliad, where he reprefents old king 
 Priam, and his venerable counfellors 
 fitting on the ramparts of Troy, and 
 confulting how to put an end to the 
 war; and whom he defcribes fo much 
 withered by age as to refemble grafs* 
 hoppers. 
 
 " A bloodless race, that send a feeble voice." 
 
 Yet on the appearance of Helen, the 
 caufe of all their calamities, they were 
 fo ftruck with her beauty, that they in* 
 ilantaneoufly exclaim : 
 
 <( No wonder such celestial charms 
 ?f For nine long years have set the world in arms* 
 " What winning graces ! what majestic mein ! 
 f J She moves a goddess, and she looks a queen.'* 
 
 They 
 
92 UNSEASONABLE CALLANTRY, 
 
 They immediately correal; themfelves a 
 however, and confent to part with her 
 for the public welfare:* 
 
 Homer paints, at firfl hand, from 
 nature : and certainly men of the moil 
 advanced age cannot but be charmed 
 with the fight of a beautiful woman; 
 but like the wife old Trojans, they 
 Ihould fupprefs their admiration, nor 
 fufFer it to kindle the tyrannic paiTion 
 of love- at fo unfeafonable a time of 
 life, when more ferious concerns may 
 be fuppofed to engage their attention, 
 and which will infallibly deprive them 
 of that reverence which is due to grey 
 heirs, and expofe them to the ridicule 
 and contempt, at leaft, of their inferiors 
 in age and ftation, if not attended with 
 more ferious confequences. 
 
 We fee frequent inrtances, indeed, of 
 men long pafl the meridian of life, who, 
 "with a good perfon and amiable man- 
 ners, render themfelves agreeable to the 
 
 # Iliad, b. 3. 
 
 fair 
 
UNSEASONABLE GALLANTRY. 03 
 
 fairfex; and a man of fifty has often 
 gained the affeclions of a young girl of 
 fifteen* But when turned of his grand 
 clima6tericj and in the very decrepitude 
 of old age, no one, but an idiot or a 
 madman, would dream of engaging un« 
 der the banners of cupid, or in any af- 
 fair of gallantry. ^o woman °f ienfe 
 or fpirit would liflen to, or even bear 
 with a man of that defcription ; and he 
 would probably be defpicable and dif- 
 gufting to the moil venal proflitute. 
 
 The unfeafonable gaiety of fome 
 amorous old ladies is a common fubjecl; 
 of raillery with our comic writers. 
 Yet, I am inclined to think, that more 
 numerous inftances might be produced 
 in cur tex of old libertines who have 
 thrown up the reins to their paffions, 
 and indulged their licentious propen- 
 fities till they become habitual and be- 
 yond the power of controul. 
 • But when, either a wanton dowager 
 purchafes the ferviccs of fome half-pay 
 
 officer, 
 
94 UNSEASONABLE GALLANTRY* 
 
 officer, or an old dotard the mercenary 
 fmiles of an interefted young and hand- 
 fome female, by large fettlements or 
 pecuniary rewards, to the injury of 
 their families or relations, their folly is 
 more than ridiculous ; it is highly im- 
 moral and unjuft. And it is to be la- 
 mented, that there is no law exifting to 
 reduce fuch wretches to a flate of pu- 
 pillage, as ideots or infane ; and to put 
 that reltraint on their fenfual appetites 
 which their own reafon is too weak to 
 effeft. 
 
 Neverthelefs, there is a degree of po- 
 lite attention which the old may, with- 
 out ce.nfure, pay to the young and 
 handfome, as an homage due to beauty* 
 And I do not imagine that any young 
 lady would be difpleafed with a com- 
 pliment, even from a man as old as 
 Neflor. On this prefumption, at leaft, 
 I have addreffed thefe complimentary 
 ftrains to fome young ladies, and even 
 married women. But as a much greater 
 
 poet, 
 
Unseasonable gallantry. 95 
 
 poet, after praifing the beauty of his 
 friends miflrefs, declares himfelf heart* 
 whole, and forbids him to be jealous 
 of a man verging upon forty, fo the 
 reader will readily give me credit for 
 my diuntereflednefs, when I confefs 
 myfelf to have lived twice that number 
 of years. 
 
 Homer is fuppofed by the Roman 
 poets, from his frequent encomiums on 
 wine, to have been too fond of his bot- 
 tle : and with equal reafon from his 
 fpeaking fo feelingly on the beauty of 
 the fair fex,* he may be fufpefted to 
 have been too fond of women. But 
 furely this is an uncandid conclufion. 
 Wine was intended to exhilerate the 
 heart of man ; and woman to footh his 
 cares and partake his pleafures. The 
 lively imagination of a poet, therefore, 
 
 * Homer seems to have been struck with the 
 dress of the Grecian ladies, their long trains and 
 line shapes, ravruTTETrXos- & Evfyvoi yvw, their stately 
 dames and tight girls, as wc should call them.— 
 3 Evfyw yvwTMt, Achilles mistress, Briseis. 
 
 may, 
 
g6 UNSEASONABLE GALLANTRY; 
 
 may, one would hope, excite him to 
 fpeak with rapture on fuch fubjects* 
 without his being accufed of indulging 
 the love of either to a culpable excefs«> 
 As the author of this Eflay has 
 always been an enthufiaftic admirer, 
 even of the beauties of inanimate na- 
 ture, he hopes he will not be cenfured 
 for paying a juft tribute of praife to 
 the moft beautiful part of the animated 
 creation. 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 Though not ftriftly applicable, I 
 cannot forbear mentioning an admira- 
 ble fcene in a late comedy called In* 
 difcretion, where, in confequence of art 
 an advertifement, an old knight on 
 crutches meets an old maid of fixty; 
 the former having defcribed himfelf as 
 in the prime of life, and the latter as 
 between 30 and 40. Their mutual 
 difappointment and reciprocal . re- 
 proaches, fet their amorous inclina-* 
 tions in a truly ridiculous light, 
 
 SYMPTOM* 
 
C 97-3 
 
 SYMPTOMS 
 
 OF 
 
 SELFJMPORTANCE, 
 
 a I will frown, as I pass by 3 and let them take 
 it as they list." Shakes. 
 
 As I am an idle man, and live in the 
 vicinity of Bath ; I fpend many of my 
 mornings in traverfing the ftreets and 
 public walks of that beautiful city. 
 The magnificence of the many ele- 
 gant buildings and the chearfulnefs of 
 the fcene, footh the imagination and 
 tranquillize the fpirits. Yet I find 
 the calm compofure of my mind fre- 
 quently interrupted, and my nerves 
 unpleafantly irritated, by the haughty 
 and faflidious looks of thofe I meet. 
 
 Though I will not fubfcribe to the 
 
 infallibility of Lavater's fyftem of phy- 
 
 frognomy ; yet the feelings of every 
 
 h one. 
 
9S SYMPTOMS OF 
 
 one, without any rules, may interpret 
 the fentiments of moft people from the 
 air and call of their countenances. 
 
 Man is by nature fociable and 
 friendly to man : and when there is no 
 oppofition of interefls, rarely harbours 
 any malicious or hoflile difpofition 
 againfl his fellow creatures. Whence 
 then are thofe unfriendly, contemptu- 
 ous, and repulfive airs which we con- 
 tinually meet with in thofe with whom 
 we have no connexion, and whom we 
 have never injured or offended ? Who 
 furvey us with fuch a fupercilious, dif- 
 dainful mein, as if they queflioned our 
 right to exifl in the fame diflricl:, or 
 even on the face of the fame globe with 
 themfelves. 
 
 I fometimes meet a man fo fUtely in 
 his deportment, fo haughty in his look, 
 with fuch an air of defiance in his whole 
 manner, that I fhrink from his appear- 
 ance, and feel myfelf annihilated in 
 his prefence. Yet, on recovering 
 
 from 
 
SELF-IMPORTANCE. 99 
 
 from my difmay, and reflecting on the 
 limited power and capacity of every hu- 
 man being, I find, probably, on in- 
 quiry, the real character of this illuf- 
 trious perfonage i that his pompous 
 air conceals a mean fpirit, and that the 
 folemn countenance is only a veil for 
 his ignorance and infignifjcance. 
 
 Such are many of thofe coloffal fi- 
 gures who feem to ' f beflride the worlds 
 and under whofe legs, as it were, we 
 petty mortals mud peep about," to find 
 a loop-hole to pafs by them, without 
 being crufhed againfl the wall, or juf- 
 led into the kennel. 
 
 One man, whom I have met, per- 
 haps, at a third place, afTumes a re- 
 ferved and diflant air, left I fhould 
 claim him as an acquaintance.* An- 
 other man, ,with eyes fixed, looks 
 
 * The Tapino-phoby, or " dread of low ac- 
 quaintance, prevails more in Bath, perhaps, than 
 hi any other public place in Europe. 
 
 h 2 ft rait 
 
200 SYMPTOMS OF 
 
 flrait forwards, and though our elbows 
 almo ft touch, feems unconfcious that 
 any one is near him, or at leaft worth 
 his notice. 
 
 A third is near-fighted, and though 
 we have met, perhaps, on various oc- 
 casions, has not the honour to recollect 
 my name. All thefe are different ftra- 
 tagems of pride and felf-importance, 
 which, though not reducible to the 
 precife/ules of quarrelling, " like the 
 lie direcV' and for which we can call a 
 man to account ; yet may, and ought 
 to be refented, or rather treated with 
 the contempt which they deferve. 
 
 I remember a flout fellow, with a 
 moil terrific countenance, who, if he 
 met a man ftrutting along in fublime 
 contemplation of his own importance, 
 and a fovereign contempt of all around 
 him, he would, on a fudden, run up to 
 him, turn his large white eyes upon 
 him, and cry, Boh! This, it may be 
 
 fuppofed, 
 
SELF-IMPORTANCE. 10% 
 
 fuppofed, often involved him in a fcuf- 
 fle, or rough rencounter; but generally 
 raifed a laugh at the expence of tha 
 haughty defpoU 
 
 A proud look is an infult on the pub- 
 lic. Pride was not made for man : nor 
 for woman neither. Yet I have feen a 
 fair fpinfter, rather pall her bloom, 
 who has been converting with a polite 
 fmile in the midft of two or t 1 ree gen- 
 tlemen 5 but on the appearance of a 
 young nymph in the giofTy iuftre of 
 fifteen, affume an haughty air, and fur~ 
 vey the bluihing harmlefs virgin with 
 fuch a murderous afped, that I have 
 been alarmed for the confequences. 
 
 What then do I expe6l from thofe 
 whom I meet in public, and who cer- 
 tainly have a right to look, as well as to 
 aft, as they pleafe, in defiance of my 
 alTumed cenforial authority. 
 
 Why; I expect, that every man 
 
 foould look with an air of kindnefs and 
 
 h 3 benignity 
 
102 SYMPTOMS OF 
 
 benignity on all mankind ; of, at leaft, 
 not to aflame an hoflile or menacing 
 afpecl towards thofe who have never 
 injured or offended him. 
 
 Let a man of rank or diftin&ion af- 
 fume the dignity becoming his flation 
 and character ; but let not thofe who 
 have no rank, nor, perhaps, any cha~ 
 ra6ter, to diflinguifh them from the vul- 
 gar, affecl; that fuperiority, which is an 
 affront to every one they meet, and 
 which will not eafily be allowed them 
 in a country of true liberty, and where 
 education and virtue make the only 
 real diflinclion ; and where men will 
 not be impofed upon or kept in awe 
 by a folemn appearance or arrogant 
 pretentions. 
 
 A friend of mine when he meets a 
 man of this defeription, fnaps his fin* 
 gers at him, and ejaculates a fcrap of 
 Latin after him, Non hujus tefacio* I do 
 not care this for you ! 
 
 For 
 
SELF-IMPORTANCE* 103 
 
 For my own part, as I love all man* 
 kind, I rather pity, than refent, the 
 folly of this theatrical hero, <c who 
 ftruts his hour on the ftage, and then 
 is feen no more." 
 
 RURAX, 
 
L 10 4 ] 
 
 RURAL FELICITY. 
 
 O ! rus, quando ego te aspiciam ? Hor* 
 
 The eafe and tranquillity, commonly 
 to be found in a country life, and the 
 beauties of nature, there only to be 
 found in their genuine fimplicity, 
 operate more forcibly on the imagina- 
 tion, and excite ftronger wifhes in the 
 breafl ; when, by our fituation in life, 
 or other circumftances, we are deprived 
 of them, than when we are in the ac- 
 tual enjoyment of them. 
 
 This is fo true, that I have often 
 thought Milton would not have painted 
 the rural fcenes in his " Paradife Loft/* 
 in fuch glowing colours if he had not 
 been blind. 
 
 *J The summer's morn, the pleasant villages and 
 farms," 
 
 with 
 
RURAL FELICITY. 105 
 
 with the nymphs and fwains at their 
 rural labours in the field, had made a 
 ftrong and pleafing imnreffion on his 
 youthful fancy, which remained fixed 
 there, when the gloom of winter, the 
 rainy feafons, and every thing unplea- 
 fant and difgufting was forgotten or loll 
 in the affemblage of more brilliant, 
 and more intereiling ideas. 
 
 Hence proceeds that rage for retire- 
 ment and country-houfes fo prevalent 
 in many worthy citizens, who s not- 
 withftanding the greater comforts and 
 conveniencies to be found in an opu^ 
 lent city ; yet, amidft the hurry of bu- 
 finefs, and the clafhing interefls and 
 competitions of trade, are languilhing 
 for the calm, undifturbed repofe of the 
 country. ^, 
 
 But let us attend one of thefe enthu- 
 fi a flic admirers of rural beauty, on a 
 Saturday evening, at his villa or mimic 
 cottage, by the fide of fome common 
 or public road ; you will find him,, in- 
 
 Head 
 
10 6 RURAL FELICITY. 
 
 Head of repofing under thefhadeofa 
 fpreading oak with a book in his hand, 
 or enjoying the cool breezes of the 
 fummer's evening, you will behold him 
 fitting with a pipe in his mouth, in his 
 little fumraer houfe at the corner of his 
 garden, and reading the Morning Chro- 
 vick, or enjoying the profpecl; and the 
 «?uft raifed by his fellow-citizens, who 
 with the fame reillefs fpirit of migra^ 
 lion from the city 
 
 _, _;« Run, 
 
 ec The Lord knows whither, in their chaise and one.* 8 
 
 JPope. 
 
 The Sunday of this reclufe is a fe+ 
 rious comedy, confifting of five acts, 
 breakfaft, dinner, and fupper; an after- 
 noon's nap, and a pipe in the evening; 
 and, on Monday morning, he returns 
 with equal impatience to the drudgery 
 of bufinefs, as a refuge from the into- 
 lerable burden of having nothing to do* 
 
 Men of bufinefs have, undoubtedly, 
 
 the 
 
RURAL FELICITY. JO/ 
 
 the beft plea for occafional intervals 
 of relaxation andrepofe; but as thefe 
 little fpruce haberdalhers have proba- 
 bly no refources in themfelves, either 
 of reading or reflection, to fill up the 
 empty fpaces infeparable from a coun^- 
 try retirement; Cheapfide or Newgate 
 flreet is the proper fphere of their ex^ 
 iftence. 
 
 Addreffed to this prevailing fond-r 
 nefs for a country life, an advertife^ 
 ment appeared in the London papers 
 every fpring, fome years fmce, nearly 
 Jn thefe words. 
 
 rc Ever ftudious of ruraLamufement, 
 I took a walk as far as the Adam and 
 Eve, on Turnham Green." And what 
 was the refult of this rural excurfion ? 
 Why; having met with fome incom- 
 parable cheefecakes, fome delicious He- 
 refordshire cyder,, and a pipe of the 
 bed Virginia tobacco ; the public- Spi- 
 rited gentleman could not, in juftice 
 to this illuftrious cake-houfe, withhold 
 
 his 
 
108 RURAL FELICITY. 
 
 his due encomiums, or conceal from 
 liis friends fuch a magazine of good 
 things, which he himfelf had fo hap- 
 pily difcovered and enjoyed,. 
 
 I remember ct a party of pleafure," 
 confiding of fome of the mofl refpe£t- 
 able inhabitants of Bath (accompanied 
 by a well-known Doctor in Divinity), 
 who came to fpend a day at a farm- 
 $ioufe which commands one of the moll 
 delightful profpedis in the environs of 
 that beautiful city. As loon as dinner 
 was ended, though in the midft of July, 
 they fliut up the parlour- windows^ 
 called for candles, and fat down to 
 cards, till their poftiiion fent in word 
 that it was almoft dark; they then hur- 
 ried down their tea and returned home, 
 entertaining their friends for a week 
 after, with the delightful day they ha4 
 fpent in the country. 
 
 In the more elevated ranks of life, 
 the fame fancied love of rural retire- 
 ment^ and the fame inability to fupport 
 
 it, 
 
RURAL FELICITY. iOf| 
 
 it, too generally, I fear, prevails. Sa- 
 tiated and fatigued, perhaps, with the 
 daily (or rather nightly) repetition of 
 the fame fcenes of folly and difTipahon ; 
 or annoyed by the heat and dull of the 
 metropolis; they fly from town to fome 
 equally crowded fea-port, or other 
 place of fafhionable refort, where they 
 meet the fame wretched votaries of 
 pleafure, purfuing the fame, or fimilar 
 modes of fquandering their time, in 
 queft of that happinefs which eludes 
 their purfuit ; and which mere amufe- 
 ment, void of utility, can never afford 
 to a thinking mind : or if they vouchfafe 
 to vifit their country feats for a "month 
 in the autumn, inftead of exhilerating 
 their country neighbours, or *& mak- 
 ing glad" the hearts of their tenants 
 and dependants, they probably bring 
 down with them their town affociateSj, 
 or fome of thofe idle, fungous excre Li- 
 cences of fociety, thofe t: airy nothings 
 who having no local habitations, ox hardly 
 
 a name J* 
 
113 RURAL FELICITY* 
 
 a name/' are proud to join in thefuite® 
 of fome great man, (and even boafl of 
 the honour) to applaud his tafle and 
 improvements; to praife his claret; 
 <c laud the haunch j" and fometimes, I 
 fear, encourage, if not jhare> his licen- 
 tious amours. 
 
 Thus, too many of our great men 5 it 
 is to be feared, enjoy the Arcadian 
 fcenes, which, perhaps, they have 
 formed at a ruinous expence ; uncon- 
 fcious that any other human beings, 
 more worthy, perhaps, than themfelves 
 or their friendsy exift around therm 
 
 Yet I fhould betray a narrownefs of 
 obfervation, and a very limited know* 
 ledge of the great world, were I to in- 
 clude even a majority of our nobility 
 in this random cenfure. On the con- 
 trary, I am perfuaded, that fome of the 
 brightefl examples of religion and vir- 
 tue may be found amongft the higher 
 
 * Galoppsr sur ta truce/' ride in your train, 
 as Boileau says, in his letter to Mr. Le Moignon. 
 
 ranks 
 
RURAL FELICITY* 111 
 
 ranks in this united kingdom ; and to- 
 whom people in a lower fphere might 
 look up and copy with advantage. 
 
 Marcellus is a young nobleman of 
 high rank and ample fortune. He has 
 had a virtuous and clalTical education in 
 one of our Englifli univernties* where 
 he was diflinguilhed by a regular appli- 
 cation to the fciences and to polite li- 
 terature. He is by no means deficient 
 in political knowledge. But, as he has 
 nothing to afk of administration, he 
 keeps himfelf independent, and engages 
 in no party. Yet, as the oppofiticii 
 ad: fyflematically againit the minifies 
 and the bufinefs of government could 
 not be carried on without a majority in. 
 parliament, Marcellus thinks it his 
 duty, fometimes to give his fufFrage in 
 their favour; and to facrifice his own 
 private opinion, when the tKpedicncy 
 of a mealure is on]y problematical; 
 and though he is not clearly convinced 
 
 At 
 
112 RURAL FELICITY. 
 
 that it is the beft that could poffibly be 
 adopted. 
 
 When his duty to the public will 
 permit, he gladly embraces every op- 
 portunity of retiring to his country re- 
 fidence ; where, in the fociety of his 
 amiable and accomplimed lady and a 
 few friends, he enjoys all the felicity 
 which conjugal affection, and the eafe 
 and familiarity of friendship can fupply„ 
 
 Their mornings are dedicated partly 
 to ufeful and amufmg ftudies, or do- 
 meflic concerns, and partly to exercife 
 and taking extenfive rides* and vifiting 
 whatever is curious and interefting; 
 calling on their gentiler neighbours; or 
 viewing- their farms and cottages of the 
 labourers ? and enquiring into the ftate 
 and improvements in the former, or 
 the wants of the latter. The reft of the 
 day is fpent in the hofpitable reception 
 of thofe, whofe liberal education, or 
 whole ftations in life, though much in- 
 ferior 
 
RURAL FELICITY. n$ 
 
 ferior to their own, entitles them to 
 fuch a reception, which the politenefs 
 and condefcenfion of this amiable cou- 
 ple extends to the whole neighbours- 
 hood, and which mull reconcile the 
 fiercefl democrat to the ariflocracy. 
 
 As their rank and fortune gives them 
 a powerful influence over their inferiors, 
 they ufe their power in promoting vir- 
 tue and induflry amongft the lower 
 claries, and fubmiflion to legal autho- 
 rity ; which in thefe times is doing ef- 
 fential fervice to the public. In coun- 
 tenancing the fober and induflrious, 
 and admoniming and even rebuking the 
 idle and extravagant % in relieving in- 
 digent merit and unmerited indigence, 
 and the like charitable offices. And in 
 the discharge of thefe focial and moral 
 duties, they find fufhcient amufement 
 to enliven their fummer's retreat, while 
 the confcioufnefs of right condu£l af- 
 fords them the moll heartfelt gratifi- 
 cation, and diffufes a chearfulnefs over 
 i their 
 
114 'RURAL FELICITY. 
 
 their minds, which being free from any 
 irregular or criminal paflion. leave- 
 them open to the enjoyment of the 
 beauties of nature, and the calm unfo- 
 phiflicated pleafures of the country. 
 
 In fhort, in thefe rational and bene- 
 volent occupations, Marcellus and his 
 lady are fo far from finding their time 
 a dead weight, or from finking into an 
 infipid liftleflhefs and becoming a prey 
 to ennui, that they think their fummer's 
 recefs much too fhort; and return with 
 reluctance to the bufy fcenes and tu- 
 multuous pleafures, if fuch they may 
 be called, which the capital fupplies 
 to the ambitious, the licentious, or to 
 the giddy votaries, or rather (laves, of 
 faftuon. 
 
 fA&T 
 
PART II, 
 
 MORAL, PANEGYRICAL, HUMOROUS, 
 
 AND 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS PIECES* 
 
 Requiefq tnihi non fama petita eft, 
 
 *' Mftnc ihtente fuis ne foretufq malis." 
 
 Ovid Tkisf, 
 
THE . 
 
 SEAT OF HAPPINESS. ■ 
 
 TO E. H.'ESq. 
 
 Oh! Happinefs ! caeleftial maid, 
 To whom our conftant vows* are pay 'd : 
 The general wifh of human kind ; ^ 
 Oh! where fliall we thy manfion find ? 
 In what bleft clime do'ft thou refide ? 
 In what recefs thy treafures hide ? 
 
 Do'ft thou frequent the lonely vale, 
 Where flow'rs their balmy fweets exhale? 
 From mofs-grown rocks where fountain's 
 
 fpririg, 
 And birds their plaintive wood-notes ling ? 
 No ; oft I've fought thee there in vain, 
 And found thofe pleafures ting'd with pain : 
 
 For, 
 
Il8 THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS, 
 
 For, every penfive mind muft know, 
 That " Solitude's the nurfe of woe. 5 * 
 
 Do'ft thou difplay thy beauties then, 
 Amidft the cheerful haunts of men ? 
 Frequent th' aflemblies of the gay ; 
 Attend each rout, each ball or play ? 
 . Do'ft thou, fair maid, delight to range 
 About the purlieus of th' Exchange ; 
 Where anxious mortals, flaves to wealth, 
 Barter their eafe, impair their health, 
 In hopes, would Fate their wifhes blefs, 
 To purchafe perfect happinefs ? 
 
 Why then do wealthy Cit's repair 
 To rural fcenes and wholefome air ; 
 To find, as there retir'dthey live, 
 What wealth alone can never give ? 
 
 Or do'ft thou rather pleas'd refort 
 Amidft the fplendors of a Court ; 
 Where juftling crowds are every hour, 
 Struggling for places and for power ; 
 Where Envy and Ambition reign, 
 And Slavery wears a filken chain. 
 
 Ah! 
 
THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS, 119 
 
 Ah ! let difcarded placemen tell, 
 That blifs in courts can never dwell ; 
 Where competition never ceafes, 
 And envy with our power increases. 
 
 Go to the feats of diflipation— 
 Search every fea-port in the nation ; 
 A Ik the gay folks at Tunbridge Wells, 
 If Happinefs amongft them dwells : 
 Halle thence to Bath ; for there you'll find, 
 Amufing fcenes of every kind, 
 Suited to every different ftage, 
 The fire of youth — the froft of age ; 
 What joyous groups in every street, 
 Where beauty, rank, and fashion meet j 
 Yet ah ! my friend, how much I fear, 
 You'll not meet Happinefs ee'n there. 
 
 The gaieties of day and night, 
 Will put the lovely nymph to flight ; 
 True Happinefs can nee'r be found 
 In Pleasure's everlafting round. 
 
 Pleafure indeed we all purfue ; 
 -But what to fome wears Pleafure's hue, 
 
 h 
 
IgO THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS. 
 
 Is but its fhadow ; .and the wife 
 
 See pain beneath the thin difguife. 
 
 Could fuch gay folks reflect, they'd find 
 
 Amidft the tumults of the mind, 
 
 A latent void fubfifting ftill, 
 
 Which fuqh vain pleafures ne'er can fill. 
 
 When,, in my evening walk, I fee 
 Yon cottage fmoke beneath the tree, 
 Wh'ofe branches, fpreading o'er the plain, 
 Defend it from the wind and rain; 
 There, I exclaim, in that lone cell, 
 Content and Peace mull furely dwell. 
 But if, alas ! I go too near, 
 What founds of discord meet my ear! 
 The children crying, and the wife 
 With her poor help-mate is at ftrife; 
 For coming e'er the pot had boil'd, 
 Or lingering till the dinner fpoil'd. 
 And thus thefe inmates of the cottage, 
 Difputing o'er their mefs of pottage, 
 Or fhivering round their fmoaky fire, 
 May be as wretched as-^-the 'Squire : 
 
 And 
 
THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS. J2X 
 
 And all with truth mull own, I fear, 
 That Happinefs refides not there. 
 
 There are, that hope to find concent, 
 (For focial beings only meant,) 
 While fate from Hymen's fetters free, 
 They riot in celibacy. 
 How vain their hopes ! for, be it known, 
 He that would y>\ea.fe himfelf. alone, 
 By righteous heaven it is decreed, 
 The felfifh wretch ihall ne'er fucceed. 
 
 Would you then lead a happy life, 
 Firft feek a tender virtuous wife ; 
 For much, be fare, depends on this, 
 On focial and domeftic blifs ;- 
 The kind'affeclions unemployed, 
 The foul mull feel a dreary void ; 
 For mere amufements foon will cloy, 
 And e'en your books afford no joy. 
 
 A conference clear, a body free 
 From ev'ry painful malady ; 
 Are prime ingredients, all confefs, - 
 To conftitute our Happinefs. 
 
 Ye:, 
 
12a THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS. 
 
 Yet, e'en with health and innocence. 
 
 We want a decent competence : 
 
 Let floie's argue as they pleafe, 
 
 Unlefs the body be at eafe, 
 
 Well fed, well cloth'd, and fnug and warm, 
 
 As well as merely free from harm, 
 
 In vain frail moitals hope to find, 
 
 Tranquillity and peace of mind. 
 
 Ceafe then to afk, in what retreat 
 True Happinefs has fix'd her feat: 
 Whether on Windsor's ftately brow, 
 Where Thames thro' meadows winds below : 
 Or, where with almoft equal pride, 
 The flreams of Avon gently glide, 
 Thro 5 hanging woods and villas gay. 
 And pleas'd, to Bath they wind their way: 
 Tor to no place is me confin'd, 
 But feated in the peaceful mind. 
 And he that's virtuous need not fear 
 To find her in his fearches there : 
 For tho' the nymph, we own, is coy, 
 The good, her favour Hill enjoy. 
 
 And 
 
THE SEAT OF HAPPINESS, $23 
 
 And fhould fhe feem to frown awhile, 
 They'll fee her foon refume her fmile* 
 Yet perfeB blifs was ne'er dtfigiCd 
 On earth the lot of human kind ; 
 Referv'd for mortals good and wife, 
 'Midft the bright regions of the Ikies ; 
 Or, if conceal'd beneath the fphere, 
 Search Bevis-Mount, you'll find her there. 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 On tliis trite fubjecl: every one hath fortie 
 peculiar fyftem of his own ; but raoft philo- 
 fophers concur in making happinefs confifl 
 in tranquillity of mind, which is undoubtedly 
 fo far true, that unlefs the paffions are under 
 due regulation, and the mind perceives itfelf 
 to.be happy, we cannot be fo, This, how- 
 ever, is little more than faying, that happi« 
 nefs conMs in not being unhappy ; for 
 though ftrength of mind an4 £ fenfe of re- 
 lig-ion, may enable us to bear adverfity or 
 ajRiclion with patience and decency, it can- 
 not in itfelf make us happy. When a man 
 labours under any calamity, fuch as ficknefs, 
 
 poverty. 
 
. POSTSCRIPT. 125 
 
 poverty, lofs of chara&er, or the like, he 
 mould endeavour to fubmit with re-fignation, 
 to his deftiny ; yet Few people in fuch cir- 
 cumftances can poffefs that tranquillity of 
 mind which is eiTential to happinefs. 
 
 In fhort, a concurrence of outward cir- 
 cumitahces, fuch as a competence adequate 
 to the demands of our ftation, fecurity from 
 danger, the welfare of our friends and nearer 
 connexions, with health of body, without 
 which there can hardly he peace of mmd 5 
 feem indifpenfibly neceffary to complete the 
 felicity of the moll profound philofopher or 
 the moll devout chriflian. 
 
 N. B. The Author wrote the above lines 
 without the leaft recolle&ion at the time of 
 the piece of Parnell's beautiful Poem, *'. On 
 Contentment," which he had not read for 
 many years, though he has infenfibly fallen 
 into the fame way of thinking. 
 
 JL 
 
i »6 ] 
 
 ■1, 
 
 IL PENSOROSO; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE SEAT OF WOE, , 
 
 TO MYSELF. 
 
 When lonely thus, amidft the bloom of May, 
 I trace this vale where eV'ry thing looks gay, 
 Where mountains* woods, and flreams, and 
 
 meadows green* 
 Confpire to form the fweet, Arcadian fcene; 
 While, on each bulh, the thrulh or linnet 
 
 lings, 
 And with their friufic, " hill and valley 1 
 
 rings : 
 Why does my heart thus ficken as I ftroll ; 
 Why this fad melancholy cloud my foul ? 
 Where, wrapt in pleafmg thought, I wont to 
 
 rove, 
 Befide the chryital itream or verdant grove ; 
 
 While 
 
THE SEAT OF WOE. 12J 
 
 While num'rous friends on every fide were 
 
 found, 
 To animate the rural landfcape round ; 
 Whofe focial converfe I fo oft enjoy 'd ; 
 Now ajLI is lonefome and a dreary void. 
 Each object gives me pain, that charm' d Be^ 
 
 fore: 
 Scenes of paft joys, which will return no? 
 more i 
 Ah! where are now thofe kind arTociaies 
 gone ! 
 To what fequefter'd regions are they k flown ? 
 Where are thofe friends, who, in my happier 
 
 days, 
 With patient ear would liflen to my lays ? 
 Where now the good Palaemon's placid mien^ 
 Which mark'd the friendly family of Sk— e ? 
 Or where my noble, hofpitable friend,* 
 With whom the cheerful day I wont to fpend? 
 
 • Lord W. Sir, 
 
 Ah. 
 
128 . THE SEAT OF WOE, 
 
 Ah ! where thofe lovely nymphs whofe 
 
 blooming grace 
 Gave ten-fold charms to this once charming 
 
 place : 
 All ! All ! are fled, and I alone remain, 
 To mourn their lofs and figh, alas ! in vain. 
 
 Or death, or ab fence, or th' imperious call 
 Of wars alarms, have robb'd me of them alL 
 Their country's cause has banifh'd them from 
 
 home, 
 O^er diftant realms and hoftile plains to roam* 
 Since cursM Ambition from hell's gulf broke 
 
 loofe, 
 Could Gallia's patriotic fons feduce, 
 To quit the fweets of Peace and Freedom's 
 
 caufe, 
 And fpurn their neighbour's rights and na~ 
 
 ture's laws. 
 Lavifh of blood and difciplin'd to kill, 
 Till numbers fair their murd'rous ranks to fill. 
 
 Oh! 
 
THE SEAT OF WOE, 
 
 129 
 
 Oh ! gentle Peace ! return ! and bring 
 
 along, 
 Joy to my heart and rapture to my fong. 
 Yet lo ! the circling mountains raife their 
 
 heads, 
 Thefe ftately oaks their mo fly branches 
 
 fpread ; 
 The flocks and herds along the meadows 
 
 range, 
 And crop their food unconfcious of the 
 
 change ! 
 While I, forlorn, to gloomy pangs a prey, 
 Am far lefs happy now, alas ! than they 
 Such is the prefent lot of mortal man ! 
 Such Heav'n's all-wife, though yet unfu 
 
 nilh'd plan, 
 To wean us from a tranfient world like this, 
 Deftin'd for brighter fcenes of endlefs blifs ! 
 
 PANE- 
 
PANEGYRICAL. 
 
 il Vellem in amicitia fie eraremus, & ittl, 
 ** Errori VirtuS nomen pofuits et honeftum.** 
 
 Kor, 
 
 Let none the praife of partial friendlhip blame, 
 But Gratitude, not Flatt'ry be the name \ 
 
 Anonym< 
 
[ *33 3 
 
 TO 
 
 THE HON. AND REV. E. S— YM-R, 
 
 An Apology for not attempting the Panegyric 
 of a Lady of High Hank, 
 
 A SLAVE too Jong to beauty and to love, 
 Tho' youthful fancy v/ildly wont to rove ; 
 And ditties chaunt to many a rural maid 
 That bloom'd unknown, like violets in the 
 
 fhade ; 
 Tho' every rofy cheek, within my breaft 
 Could raife ftrange tumults, not to be fup- 
 
 prefs'd : 
 Till vented by the Mufe, in fuch rude lays, 
 As happly, unenlighten'd nymphs might 
 
 praife : 
 Shall I, the loweft of the tuneful throng, 
 Make S — ym — r's charms the fubject of my 
 
 Song : 
 
 K3 By 
 
jCU TO THE HON. AND 
 
 By age exhaufled now my fancy's ilore, 
 Shall I attempt v fuch lofty heights to foar ? 
 By duty bound, what though their Mufcs 
 
 fport 
 Amidft the fairefl beauties of the Court ; 
 By fuch infpir'd, e'en Laureat's mult defpair 
 To pay juft tribute to a face fo fair. 
 When beauty, rank, and fortune thus unite, 
 They ftrike with awe, and put the Mufe to 
 
 flight. 
 Yet beauty's but the gilding of the fhrine, 
 Where virtue, fenfe, and brighter talents 
 
 mine, 
 For, 'midft the follies and the fenfelefs rage, 
 For novel fyftems of an impious age ; 
 'Midfl gayeft circles, S— ym— r boldly dares 
 To own, me reads good books and fays her 
 
 prayers : 
 Nay, tho' her weaknefs Sceptics may deride, 
 Her Chri'ftian Title is her greateft pride. 
 But tho' fuch charms might frozen age in- 
 
 fpire, 
 To paint their force Remands a Pindar's lyre. 
 
REV. E. S — YM — R. 135 
 
 Yet fee fair S — m — rset has laid afide 
 The claims of birth — incentives oft to pride; 
 Her ftate forgot, with condefcenfion fweet, 
 She deigns with fmiles the awe-ftruck bard to 
 
 greet, 
 And proud to pleafe, 
 
 She waves the rights to rank and merit due. 
 Yet, when her fportive fancy me difplays, 
 Her charms rekindled dart more vivid rays, 
 And tho' fubdu'd the luftre of her eyes, 
 The wretch that dares approach, enraptur'd 
 
 dies. 
 At diftance then let me thofe charms explore, 
 Which kings themfclves in fdence mull 
 
 adore j 
 Thofe charms by Hymen's laws fecur'd to 
 
 one, 
 May S — ym — r long po fiefs in Hamilton, 
 
 THE 
 
[ *36 3 
 
 THE 
 
 ROSE AND THE THISTLE; 
 Or, THE UNION. 
 
 As down the dewy lawn, at early day, 
 Whofe fides were fring'd with ihrubs, I 
 
 chanc'd to fhray, 
 A damafk Rofe its crimfon foliage fpread 
 And all around reviving odours fhed. 
 Smit with its blooming charms, I gaz'd, ad- 
 
 mir'd, 
 And thus addrefs'd it, as the Mufe infpir'd. 
 [ l Hail! fovereign flower; lov'd theme of 
 
 every Bard ! 
 Thy beauty and rich fragrance his reward. 
 No brighter tints the lover's partial eye 
 In Hamilton's* or Stella's cheeks can fpy. 
 
 * Lady Charlotte, now Ds. of S- 
 
 MQnarchs 
 
THE ROSE AND THE THISTLE, 137 
 
 Monarchs of old, enamour' d of thy charms, 
 Have deem'd thee meet to deck the royal 
 
 arms. 
 Emblem of joy ! thy flow'rs the crown adorn; 
 Its cares exprefs'd by the emblematic thorn. 1 * 
 While thus due honour to the Rofe I pay'd, 
 Lo ! at a modeft diflance in the made, 
 A ftately thiftle* rose ; while fcarce way feen, 
 Its purple creft, 'midft leaves of pallid green ; 
 And thus fhe faid, (or feem'd to fay,) like 
 
 you 
 I give the Sov'reign Rofe its honour due ; . 
 But, tho' le-fs bright my tint, yet you will find 
 My branches round the royal 'fcutcheon 
 
 twin'd, 
 True to the Britifh Crown, well pleas'd I 
 
 fliare 
 Thofe honours which my knights are proud 
 
 to wear. 
 
 f A Thiftle feven. feet high in my diminitive fhrubbery* 
 
 Tho* 
 
Ijfi THE ROSE AND THE THISTLE. 
 
 Tho ! flighted by thefe fhrubs I here re- 
 main, 
 No infults unreveng : d, will I fuftain ; 
 Let then the Rofe my equal merits own ; 
 And both unite to grace the Britifh throne* 
 
 * The motto ef the Knights of the Thiftle ; 
 « Nemo me impune lacefiit," 
 
 ow 
 
C 139 ] 
 
 CHRISTMAS AMUSEMENTS 
 
 AT 
 
 CLAVERTON HOUSE. 
 
 TO MRS. SK- 
 
 While Europe's Chiefs, in hoftile arms, 
 
 Through half the globe fpread war's alarms, 
 
 And every haplefs neighbouring nation 
 
 By difcord ! differing devaftation, 
 
 Amufement reigns our great demand, 
 
 And pleafure riots o'er the land. 
 
 Amufe yourfelves then ladies fair ! 
 
 Be pleafure fliil your conftant care ; 
 
 But let your pleafures be refin'd ; 
 
 Tike Marcia's of a nobler kind, 
 
 Pleafure by her's well underftood, 
 
 Her pleafure is in doing good, 
 
 In chriftian duties ftill employ'd ; 
 
 Puly perform'd and e'en enjoy 'd: 
 
 The 
 
140 CHRISTMAS AMUSEMENTS, 
 
 The naked cloath'd, the hungry fed ; 
 The fick and helplefs vifited : 
 Thefe are the amufements Marcia loves ; 
 Thefe are the pleafures heav'n approves. 
 See her amidft her beauteous choir 
 Of fpinfters round her Chriftmas fire, 
 Their books, their pencils thrown* afide, 
 Diftinguifhing this feftiye tide. 
 By ftudies which delight them; more- 
 Plying their needles for the poor ! 
 The orphan tribet no longer fad, 
 Are daily fed and warmly clad : 
 Their uniform and Sunday drefs, 
 E'en elegance and tafte exprefs. 
 But when to heaven their hands they rajfe, 
 To indicate their Maker's praife ; 
 Or fuppliant kneel in grateful pray'r— 
 Who but admire's fair Marcia's care ? 
 3uch changes in thefe infants wrought ! 
 Now cloath'd and fed — and kindly taught. 
 
 * In the ufe of which fome of them excel. 
 ' t Five motherlefs children. 
 
 Taught 
 
CHRISTMAS AMUSEMENTS. 141 
 
 Taught to adore the pow'rs of heaven, 
 To mortals who fuch grace has given, 
 God s bounteous purpofe to fulfill, 
 And do on earth his heavenly will. 
 Seize then, ye fair ones, joys like thefe; 
 Such pleafures ne'er can ceafe Id pieaie; 
 Enjoy'd from thirty to three-fcore, 
 They ne'er will cloy but pleafe the more ; 
 And when your youth and beauty's flown, 
 Thefe joys will ever be your own. 
 
 N. B. A Family not lefs diftinguijlied bv 
 their virtues and . accomplijliments, at pre- 
 fent inhabit the fame kouje. 
 
 TO 
 
* I 142 ] 
 
 TO MRS. E. 
 
 OF CL — -V — TON-HOUSE. 
 
 AV improvifo* 
 
 While many a matron mines in modern life 3 
 Forgetting (he's a mother and — a wife, 
 Who each domeftic duty difregards, 
 And wafte the tedious, ling'ring hours at 
 
 cards, 
 Fair E-h-rs-11, amidft her youthful throng, 
 Cheers their amufing labours with her fong ; 
 Her virtuous precepts thus with ' pleafure 
 
 joJn'd, 
 Gain free admiflion and improve the mind ; 
 "While her fine form the golden harp difplays, 
 She charms her friends with her feraphic lays. 
 Yet, when they gaze, her modeft looks con- 
 
 troul 
 Each fenfual paffion and refine the foul. 
 Hermits might quit their folitary cells, 
 Where holy prayer and contemplation dwells ,* 
 
 Their 
 
TO MRS. E. OF CL — V — TON-HOUSE. 143 
 
 Their relics and their rofaries forego, 
 And tafte casleftial rapture here below ; 
 Angels themfelves might liften from above, 
 Charm'd with the fcene of harmony and love* 
 
[ M4 ] 
 TRUE HEROISM ! 
 
 TO THE 
 
 BON. LIEUT. GENERAL HARCOURT* 
 
 €t Cowards are cruel, but the brave 
 
 ft Love mercy and deiight to fave." 
 
 Gay. 
 
 Heroes of old were, furej by heaven de- 
 
 %n'd, 
 For fome wife end, the fcourges of mankind, 
 Who rais'd their trophies on their numbers 
 
 flain, 
 Deaf to the groans of heaps that fcrew'd the 
 
 plain. 
 The vi&or's wreath, and the triumphal car, 
 Taught them to flight the horrors of the war. 
 
 * N. B. The- Author having been thrown from his horfe 
 on the mdft unfrequented part of Clavcrton Down, and un- 
 able to move, was providentially relieved from his diftreff- 
 ful fituatbn by the humanity and very active exertions of 
 Gen. H-rcourt. 
 
 Tho 9 
 
TRUE HEROISM. 149 
 
 Tho' modern Gauls well-pleas'd, fuch 
 fcenes can view, 
 And day by day their bloody deeds renew,* 
 The Brittifh Hero, on a nobler plan, 
 Fierce in the fight forgets not he's a man. 
 With pity views the carnage of the field, 
 And faves the proftratQ for beneath his fhieldL 
 
 Thus H-rcourt, when on the Atlantic more 
 His arms t' alien his country's claims he bare ; 
 For courage fam'd, to greater glory rofe 
 By captives! taken, than by flaughter'd foes* 
 
 On Belgia's coafts he now renews his fame ; 
 Victorious oft, his valour ftill the fame : 
 Whether his troops the favage Gaul defeat, 
 Or, vengeful harafs them in their retreat ; 
 Not lefs humane and merciful than brave, 
 He feels lefs joy to conquer than to Jave. 
 
 * In their zeal for extirpating monarchs, they were fsdd 
 at this time, to have given no quarter. 
 
 f He took Gen. Lee prifoner t 
 
 TSWKS- 
 
[ 150 ] 
 
 TEWKESBURY PARK : 
 
 The Seat of the decijive Battle between the 
 
 Houfes of York and Lancafter, 1471. 
 
 An HiJlorico-*-defcriptive Sketch. 
 
 TO LIEUT. COLONEL JOHN WALL, OF THE 
 LODGE, ESQ. 
 
 Shall Cowper's bill,* or Windfor's foreftf 
 
 claim 
 Exclufive honours from the voice of Fame? 
 Hath princely Stoweij; and Hagley Park§ fo 
 
 long, 
 And Stourhead's|| claflic fcenes, been fam'd in 
 
 fong? 
 
 * Sir John Denham's Poem on that fhbjeft. 
 
 + Pope's Poem. 
 
 $ Marquis of Buckingham's feat. 
 
 § Lord Lyttleton's. 
 
 jj Sir R. Hoar's. 
 
 Each 
 
TEWKESBURY PARK, l£i 
 
 Each province now with felf-taught bards 
 abounds, 
 
 And with perpetual flrains each hill refounds; 
 
 And fhall her tribute then the partial mufe 
 
 To thy fam'd Park** fair Tewkefbury, refufe ? 
 
 The fcene of warlike deeds ; tho' civil rage 
 
 Difgrace with murd'rous acts th' hiftoric page; 
 
 Where, in the blood-ftain'd field, fo bravely- 
 fought, 
 
 York gain'd at length the crown — too dearly 
 bought. 
 
 From civil difcord Brittain breath'd awhile, 
 
 And peace, long banifh'd, blefs'd the harafs'd 
 ifle. 
 
 . * In a field at the bottom of the park, Edward IV. finaHy 
 defeated Margaret of Anjou, Queen of Henry VI. and her Ge- 
 neral, Beaufort Duke of Somerfet, &c. After their defeat they 
 took fancluary in the abbey, but were taken thence by force ; 
 the Queen imprifoned, her fon Edward murdered, and the 
 Duke of Somerfet beheaded. 
 
 h k 'Hoes 
 
i$2 TEWKESBURY PARK. 
 
 Does Cowper's hill more noble fcenes dif- 
 
 play, 
 Or Thames, thro' meads more fertile, wind 
 
 its way ? 
 Than deck Sabrina's fweet romantic- fides, 
 Thro' which her copious ftream triumphant 
 
 glides 
 Thro' meads with fpring's perennial verdure 
 
 crown'd, 
 And groves that rife in rich profufion round ? 
 And where of lowing herds a numerous breed 
 Along th' extenfive lawn fecurely -feed ? , 
 'Midfl thefe the Lodge* erects its modefl 
 
 brow ; 
 And views the wat'ry mirror mine below : 
 Where floating with the tide, the whitening 
 
 fail 
 Of the tall veffel flutters in the gale : 
 And while the filent fcene we pleas 'd furvey, 
 To diflant i coafls it calmly fpeeds its way. 
 
 * The neat box of J. V^all, Ifq. 
 
 Within 
 
TEWKESBURY PARK. t'ffi 
 
 Within the hofpitable dome, tho' plain, 
 Yet neatnefs, elegance, and plenty reign. 
 And while a cheerful welcome greets the gueft ; 
 We want no lux'ries t' improve the feaft. 
 
 The Abby's* lofty towers we hence admire, 
 Which even in ruins awful thoughts infpire ; 
 And, with fuch Hate the gothic arches rife, 
 Our modern pafte-board temples we defpife. 
 Who can withhold the pity and the praife 
 Due to the pious zeal of ancient days ? 
 When wealthy Thanes a liberal fhare be- 
 
 ftow'd, 
 Of thofe pofTeflions, which to heaven they 
 
 ow'd. 
 Who, tho' their errors modern times deride, 
 Shar'd with the church the pleafuret and the 
 
 pride. 
 
 * See Mi. Lyfone's exquifitely picturefque etchings of this 
 beautiful ruin. 
 
 •f The beauty of the painted windows and lofty arches. 
 
 l 3 There 
 
1J4 TEWKESBURY PARK. 
 
 There royal Margaret and her vanquifh'd 
 
 train, 
 With cloyfler'd nuns a fanct'ary fought in. 
 
 vain. 
 For York's ambition, England's crown the 
 
 prize, 
 The church's threats, and heav'n itfelf defies. 
 Edward,* too young an equal war to wage, 
 Fell a fad victim to the vigor's rage : 
 Beaufort beheaded, and the captive queen, 
 Who grac'd the Yorkite's triumph, clos'd the 
 
 fcene. 
 There, fcarce diftinguifh'd from the azure 
 
 fky, 
 Our Glo'fter's diftant turrets catch the eye. 
 There fad Carnarvon's^ laft remains repofe, 
 From whofe rich fhrine thofe towers more 
 
 {lately rofe. 
 
 * Son to Margaret, who was murdered in a room ftill 
 fhown. 
 
 + Edward (ftyled of Carnarvon,) who was confidered as a 
 Martyr. 
 
 Here 
 
T5WKESBURY PARK. r$jK 
 
 Here Cheltenham's fpire and mineral 
 
 fprings we trace, 
 Where many a fair, and many a pimpled face, 
 For health or hufband's annually refort, 
 And, late our much lov'd fov 'reign kept his 
 
 court. 
 There Cotswold's cliffs and Malvern's 
 
 heights combine 
 To form th' horizon's undulating line : 
 That line, £ho' few know why,* which charms 
 
 us all, 
 And Connoifeurs " The Line of Beauty" catfl. 
 Unnumber'd feats th' admiring ftranger fees a 
 Which rife embofom'd in the tufted trees; 
 There mitred Ely,t midft the fummer's heat, 
 Enjoys, rever'd, his literate retreat. 
 There Dowdfwell, veil'd in rofes, 'midil her 
 
 friends, 
 Jier cheerful eve of life, in health, extends, 
 
 * Docti rationem artis Intelligent 5 indocti volupiutem. 
 f Pr, York has a seat and estate there. 
 
 Ana 
 
1^6 TEWKESBURY PARK, 
 
 And haply, 'midft thofe elms more clqfely 
 
 veil'd, 
 Much learning link'd with beauty,* lives con« 
 
 ceal'd : 
 While cottages with cultur'd farms unite, 
 And form'd in rural landfkape, charm the 
 
 fight. 
 But fhonld I name the yariousf fcenes 
 
 around, 
 Where learning, beauty, worth, or wealth 
 
 abound ; 
 Tho' Tewkelbury with pride the name? would 
 
 read, 
 The lift would Homer's Catalogue f exceed. 
 But lo ! where Breedon's eaftern verge de- 
 clines, 
 And Cotfwol-d's northern promontory joins 5 
 
 * On a rising plat of ground. 
 
 + Croom, Todington, Batsford, Dailsford, Sec, 
 
 £ Of ships and their heroic leaders, 400 lines. 
 
 My 
 
TEWKESBURY PARK, %§J 
 
 My native village* faintly meets my fight ; 
 Th' affe&ing bier has put the Mufe to flight, 
 I figh to think my youthful days are o'er; 
 And fancy, mirth, and pleafure, are no more* 
 
 * Michleton. 
 
 COMB-HAY. 
 
[ *5* 1 
 
 COMB— HAY, 
 
 TO MRS. SM LI. 
 
 Stranger! while thro' thefe fylvan fhades 
 
 you rove* 
 Where chryilal nreams refle£l th' inverted 
 
 grove ; 
 Where, crown'd with circling woods^ thQ 
 
 mountain's height, 
 And Hoping lawns harmonioufly unite ; 
 Where all appears a fairy vifion, know! 
 To Myra's fkill thefe lovely fcenes you owe, 
 Tho' nature in her (impleft drefs can charm, 
 And every fine, poetic fancy warm ; 
 Yet, unadorn'd by art, alas ! how few 
 In their true light thofe fimple charms can 
 
 view I 
 
 E'ea 
 
TO MRS. SM — LI* 15<J 
 
 E'en Venus' felf, that rules in ev'ry brealr, 
 Still pleafes more^ when by the graces dreit. 
 Thus, tho' this landfkape nature has fup- 
 
 plied, 
 Yet Myra fure may boaft, with venial pride, 
 That ihe each flight defecl with care con* 
 
 ceal'd, 
 And ev'ry latent charm with art reveaFd ; 
 Till the whole fcene receives peculiar grace, 
 And all adore the Genius of the Place.* 
 No more their time then let our men of 
 
 tafte 
 In vain difputes and idle precepts wafte ; 
 £.et nature's champion, Kn-ght, the caufe t$ 
 
 her 
 And R-ppinton, the friend of art, refer ;t 
 
 * The Ancients fancied every beautiful fcene had a local 
 Genius, whom they adored. Comb-hay has the fame-. 
 
 f Mr. Kn-ght, member for Ludlow, who wrote a poem on 
 Landfkape Gardening j and Mr. R-ppingtcn a profefiional 
 |>upil of Mr, Browne, violent antagonl&s. t 
 
 Let 
 
l6o TO MRS. SM — LI, 
 
 Let them the conteft to Comb — hay remove, 
 And each his title to precedence prove ! 
 Their precepts there exemplified they'll find, 
 And art and nature amicably join'd. 
 EJach fmiles content with its allotted part ; 
 Nature adorn'd, but not opprefs'd with art* 
 
 TH£ 
 
C 161 ] 
 
 THE LOVER'S WALK, 
 
 Sacked to Hymen and the God of Love, 
 Approach with awe, ye fair, this hallow'd 
 
 grove : 
 Such was, of old, that highly favour'd fcene, 
 Where firft Adonis met the Paphian queen. 
 Tho' no fpontaneous rofes fpring around, 
 Beneath thefe pines, as in poetic ground s 
 Or fuch as, rais'd by Myra's magic fkilL, 
 In Winter bloom,* obedient to her will. 
 Yet here the Loves and Graces rove; and 
 
 here 
 True lovers rove with pleafure all the year. 
 B.eneath thefe {hades fly cnpid wings his dart, 
 And often wounds the unfufpecling heart. 
 
 * A weli-fupplled hct-hoofe, 
 
 Here 
 
l6.2 THE LOVER 9 S \VALK. 
 
 Here firft fair Harriot* liften'd to his voice* 
 And made the young Britanicaf her choice* 
 With juftice then we confecrate this grove 
 To conliant friendfhip and to mutual love. 
 
 * The Hon. Mlfs Tr-iy. 
 i Mr. H-b-ry. 
 
 (JORSHAMU 
 
[ i6 3 3 
 
 CORSHAM-HOUSE. 
 Or, THE FAMILY RETURN. 
 
 TO PAUL M — TH — N, ESQ* 
 
 I, WHO thro' life amufing fcenes purfue, 
 Come, at four-fcore, this charming place to 
 
 view ; 
 Where art and nature all their forces join, 
 To give perfection to the great defign. 
 Without* tho' nature rules, the works of art 
 Within the manfion equal charms impart. 
 Whofe vifions bright* as thofe on fairy 
 
 ground* 
 To feaft each fenfe and faculty abound. 
 Nor vifions all — of more fubftantial cheer, 
 The Epicure enjoys a banquet here. 
 Tho' I too feaft, in this we difagree, 
 That, books and pictures are the feaji for rrte. 
 
 With 
 
t6% THE FAMILY RETURN'. 
 
 With tafle fele&ed here, in ev'ry kind, 
 Rare proofs of each great mailer's fkill we find ; 
 Whate'er the Italian artifls can fupply ; 
 Or Flemifh School, to charm the critic eye : 
 Portraits, fofftoric groupes, or landfkapes fair, 
 The ConnoirTeur's enwrapt attention mare, 
 What genius e'er conceiv'd, or pencil drew, 
 All that confummate fkill or paint could do. 
 
 Yet thofe that in this hofpitable dome^ 
 Shall view this cheerful family at home 5 
 Where, 'midft their progeny with venial pride, 
 The happy parents placidly prefide ; 
 While filial and fraternal love unite 
 To fill their throbbing bofom's with delight ; 
 Who this domeflic piciure can behold, 
 And not confefs how languid and how cold 
 The warmeft tints of Rubens' felf appear, 
 Match'd with the joyous group affembled here* 
 Art muft lament, that colours are too faint, 
 The cherub fmile, or fparkling eyes to paint : 
 Or fweet maternal tendernefs defcribe, 
 CarefTing, in their turn, the fportive tribe. 
 
 Art 
 
THE FAMILY RETURN. . l6j 
 
 Art can prefent the fur face to our view ; 
 But nature only to herfelf is true. 
 
 Such fcenes await us in the realms above ; 
 The blifsful feat of harmony and love ! 
 
 M AMMER. 
 
■ [J! 1.66; ,] : 
 AMMERDOWN. 
 
 TO T. S. J LL FF, ES£. 
 
 In gloomy ftate, you've feen yon mountain 
 
 rife, 
 Barren and bare beneath the f ottering Ikies ; 
 Where nature, lavifh of her gifts below, 
 Deign'd not a fingle bleffing to beftow. 
 Nor trees nor fhrub, nor fcarce a tuft of grafs, 
 To variegate the unprolific mafs. 
 Thus wafte and wild for ages paft it lay ; 
 A rude uncultivated bed of clay. 
 But genius comes — and in a circling line, 
 With a free pencil fketch'd the great defign : 
 And firft — Imagination, fond to rove, 
 Thro' verdant {hades, mark'd out the future 
 
 • grove. 
 At once ten thoufand infant plants fhe fees 
 Advancing rapidly to lofty trees ; 
 
 Beneath 
 
TO T. S. J— ^LL — FF, ESO. ±6j 
 
 Beneath who fc fh ad e the Bard in future times 
 Infpir'd fhall rove and meditate his rhymes : 
 'Midft thefe me plans; with triie Palladia!! 
 
 fkill, 
 The (lately pile, to crown the favour'd hill; 
 And while, without, rich Ornaments unite 
 With fymrhetry to charm the judging fight: 
 Magnificence with pureft tafte we find 
 Within the hofpitable dome combin'd : 
 Where the kind hoft politely treats each gueil, 
 And Fulvia's fmiles exalt and crown the feafh 
 
 Nor think the Mufe ideal virions feign, 
 Lo! J — il — ffe now has rCaliz'd the fcenes. 
 By magic fkill with pleafure and furprife, 
 5 Midft thriving woods we fee the flruclure rife. 
 Round which utility in league with tafle, 
 To verdant lawns converts the dreary wafle : 
 What late was barren* now a fertile field, 
 Rich crops of wholefome grain is taught to 
 yield. 
 
 M2 The 
 
l68 TO T. S. J — LL— FF, ESQ. 
 
 The foil with mofs o'ergrown, and noxious 
 
 weeds, 
 Now num'rous flocks in verdant paftures 
 
 feeds : 
 While bufy hinds, who various tafks purfue, 
 Prefent a cheerful landfkape to our view. 
 Wealth, thus employ'd, is heav'n's peculiar 
 
 flore, 
 To blefs the t'tch-, and feed th' induftrious 
 
 poor. 
 May no French politics thefe profpe&s blaft, 
 And England's wealth and powV for ages lafl : 
 Till Ammerdown its focial (hades extend 
 With Babington's primaeval oaks to blend; 
 Then feuds and animofities fhall ceafe, 
 And all be kindnefs, harmony, and peace, 
 
 A TO. 
 
L 169 ] 
 
 A TOPOGRAPHICAL SKETCH 
 
 OF THE 
 
 COUNTY OF SOMERSET. 
 
 « Salve ! magna parens fru'gum, Somerfetia Tellus ! 
 
 *' Magna virum."* 
 
 Viae. 
 
 Could I on eagle's pinions foar, 
 And all the wide expanfe explore ; 
 From eaft to weft, from north to fouth ; 
 From Lansdown to the channel's mouth ; 
 'Thy wood- clad hills, thy plains outfpread, 
 From Alfred's tow'rr to Ouantook's head ; 
 And in one view the charms furvey, 
 Which Somerfet's rich vales difplay : 
 
 * Virum : " So are they all j all honourable men !" 
 
 Shaksp. 
 
 i Alfred's Tower, near StourheadU 
 
 M 3 Th* 
 
I70 A TOPOGRAPHICAL SKETCH Of 
 
 Th' imagination would be fir'd, 
 
 As by Euterpe's felf infpir'd ; 
 
 The ntirn'rous feats which there abound, 
 
 With decorated lawns around ; 
 
 From Newton Park* to Dunftan's height } f 
 
 Bleft objeft to t]ie failor's fight! 
 
 With many a fweet, romantic fcene, 
 
 Delight of travellers ! between. 
 
 There Glaflon's gothic arches rife. 
 In awful ruins to the fkies ! 
 There Montreate'sJ majeftic pile ! 
 There Nettlecomb's§ rich paftures fmile : 
 And Hefrercomb,|[ her groves well known ! 
 Burton,!! Mell's-Par^** and Babington :tt 
 
 # The feat of Gore Langton, Efq. our worthy arid amiable 
 Reprefentative. 
 
 + The feat of the Lutterel family. 
 
 £ The feat of — — Phelips, Efq. 
 
 § Sir John Trevelyan. 
 
 |1 Of the late C. Warre Bampfyide, Efq. 
 
 ^[ The refidence of the Countefs, Dowager of Chatham. 
 
 ** Of Thomas Horner > Efq. 
 
 if Of Charles Knatchbull, Efq. 
 
 Nor 
 
THE COUNTY. OF SOMERSET, 1J.1 
 
 Nor (hall King's' Wefton* be negle&ed, 
 While worth and probity's refpe&ed : 
 Nor yet that venerable fpot 
 Sequefter'd South-hillt be forgot. 
 Marftonf I #lmoil fear to name ; 
 By learned Boyle confign'd to fame. ' 
 Fairfield^ and Stayning|| I would praife, 
 But B— rl— d mufl defpife my lays. 
 
 Lo !. to the eafl, methiriks I fee 
 The much frequented Orchard-rLeigh ! % 
 We'll thence to Camerton*^ defcend, 
 The manfion oi my earlie-fl friend : 
 Harptree,tf and many a villa more, 
 Which decorate Sabrina's fhore. 
 
 * Of \y, Dickenfon,- Efq. our worthy member, 
 
 + Seat of the Strodes, from the time of the Norman Con- 
 queft. 
 
 J Earl of Cork's. 
 
 § Ackland's, Efq. 
 
 H B-rl-d's, Efq. 
 
 ^1" Of Champnefs, Efq, 
 
 ** The late Philip Stevens, Efq, 
 ft Of Jofhua Scrope's, Efq, 
 
 Harp- 
 
iy<l A TOPOGRAPHICAL SKETCH 0? 
 
 Should we to Bath our view extend, 
 Where would our airy profpeci end ? 
 On ev'ry fide, lo ! many a feat 
 In tafte and elegance complete ! 
 Prom right to left our virion toft, 1 
 In the bright galaxy is loft. 
 
 But, ah! my colours are too faint 
 The landfkapes various charrrs to paint: 
 Homer an hundred tongues would afk, 
 To execute the arduous tafk. 
 Enough for me thefe fcenes to name, 
 Their beauties are well known to fame ; 
 For all that England boafts,* we find 
 In Somerfet's rich circuit join'd : 
 Her mountains, fp rings, and churches fair, 
 And lovely nymphs beyond compare. 
 
 * Anglia, mons, fonts, pons, ecclefia, fasmina, lana. 
 " For mountains, fountains, bridges, churches fair, 
 " For wool, for women, England's pafr. compare." 
 
 N. B. The pariih churches in Somerfet, are remarkably 
 beautiful fpecimens of gothic archite&ure. 
 
 Happy 
 
THE COUNTY OF SOMERSET. 173 
 
 Happy thofe rural nymphs and fwains 
 That rove amidfl thefe blifsful plains ! 
 And what, but groundlefs difcontent, 
 Some vice or folly, can prevent 
 The happinefs of thofe that live 
 'Midft all the bleflings heav'n can give? 
 What mortal then can here repine, 
 When filch, fair Somerfet, are thine* 
 
 TO 
 
C »74 ] 
 
 TO 
 
 PRINCE HOARE, Esq. 
 
 Critics who judge by rig'rous laws the ftage. 
 
 Indignant cenfure this fantaftic age ; 
 
 Who charm' d with toys, their infant tafle re* 
 
 tain, 
 And wit and manly fenfe ftill plead in vain : 
 Who go lefs pleas'd to hear a play, than^; 
 Where all is idle fhow and pageantry. 
 Nor ought we their feverity to blame- 
 Yet folly, deaf to laws, may yield to fhame : 
 
 Hoare furely then, adopts a wifer part, 
 I-aughs at our faults and* flays about th§ 
 
 heart ; 
 
 * Circumprsecordia ludit -Pers. 
 
 With 
 
TO PRINCE HpARE, ESQ. J/5 
 
 With humorous farces and with dramas 9 
 
 chafte. 
 Corrects our morals and refines our tafte: 
 True to the flage's moft important ends,* 
 Inftrufts the public and delights his friends, 
 
 f Unt prodcfle volunt ant delegare. — : Hor. 
 
 ON 
 
C J/6 ] 
 
 ON THE 
 
 LATE RAINY SEASON, 
 
 TO 
 
 ES£. 
 
 VV hile daily thus inceflant rains 
 tlufli from the clouds and drench the plains; 
 And torrents deluge every road, 
 No prudent man would ftir abroad. 
 
 How then, confm'd at home, my friend s 
 Shall we this dreary feafon fpend ? 
 Each jovial crew the rain defies ; 
 " We'll fmoke and drink, (old Soaker cries ;.} 
 " Without, while damps aflault the (kin, 
 44 We'll warm ourfelves with Port within.'* 
 
 But you, in c'onfcious virtue bleft, 
 (Perpetual furrfhine in your breaft) 
 
 Tho* 
 
ON THE LATE RAINY SEASONS. IJJ 
 
 Tho' war, with horrid din of arms, 
 Each nation of the globe alarms, 
 And on your roof loud tempefts beat, 
 Enjoy your elegant retreat, 
 And calmly, in th' hiftoric page, 
 Survey the crimes of ev'ry age ; 
 Convinc'd that Heav'n makes all things tend-, 
 By various means to one great end. 
 Perhaps with rapture you perufe 
 The fcenes of fome defcriptive Mufe; 
 In which, beneath unclouded fkies, 
 The blooming flow'rs fpontaneous rife; 
 For all the feafons of the year, 
 In verfe, with equal charms appear. 
 . But would you your own thoughts purfue^ 
 (As I, a frantic rhymer, do,) 
 Amufe yourfelf, at vacant times, 
 'And deck them in harmonious rhymes; 
 Or, with enthufiaftic fire, 
 Like An*s*y, ftrike the claffic lyre; 
 Like H*r*ingt*n, in antique drefs, 
 With " mickle mirth" your thoughts exprefs % 
 
 Let 
 
I78 ON THE LATE RAINY SEASON. 
 
 Let rain in cataracls come down, 
 And all your new-fown acres drown ; 
 Or drive your cattle down the ftream, 
 You'd ft ill enjoy your favorite theme. 
 Your tenfold taxes cheerful pay, 
 And rhyme and fcribble night and day. 
 
 DAN. 
 
t 179 J 
 
 DANMONR.E LAUDES; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE WORTHIES OF DEVONSHIRE. 
 
 . 
 
 Fruitful in all that human life can cheer.- 
 To Devon's fons their country's juftly dear:. 
 Fruitful in heroes, or by land or fea, 
 Raleigh and Drake derive their birth from 
 
 thee ; 
 Fruitful in genius, fhe can boaft her Gay s 
 And many a Poet of the prefent day : 
 But, in the filter art, more fertile ftill, 
 She boafts her Painters of confummate fkill ; 
 Thence Hudfon, firfl in time, if not in fame, 
 Amidft the group, deferves no vulgar name ; 
 Beyond the life he fwell'd the flowing line, 
 Yet lace and velvet made his portraits— ^W. 
 
 In 
 
$8o DANMONRED LAUDES ; OR, 
 
 In Hudfon's fchool fam'd Reynold's courfe 
 
 begun ; 
 Where much to learn he faw, and much to 
 
 fhun ; 
 From Rome, the feat of Arts, with knowledge 
 
 fraught, 
 He to our Engliih School perfection brought ; 
 And, when by time his paintings mail decay, 
 His writings will his wond'rous (kill difplay. 
 By Woolcote's aid, e'er Opie had appear'd, 
 Northcote v/as known, and for his (kill re- 
 
 ver'd : 
 And had his merits met their full .reward, 
 Had Pindar deign'd his praifes to record, 
 His talents more celebrity might claim, 
 And Northcote juftly fliare Sir Jofhua's* 
 
 fame. 
 
 * Sir Jofhua Reynolds, 
 
 HORACES 
 
C i8 * 3 
 
 PIORACE'S ODE II. B. 2. 
 
 *« Quid bs?HJcofus Cantaber and &■ Scythes 
 «< — Cogitet— &c.'< 
 
 IMITATED, 
 I. 
 
 What the ferocious Gaul intends, 
 Or Spaniard, who their navy lends, 
 
 Againft his will, our foe : 
 Ceafe to inquire! For, let them boaft, 
 They ne'er fhall reach the Brittifh coaft; 
 
 Suffice it this to know ! 
 
 II. 
 
 Thank heav'n ! the ocean rolls between. 
 
 O'er which Britannia rules as Queen; 
 
 Nor fears what France can do : 
 
 Should they the rich of 'wealth bereave, 
 
 They ilill, my friend, muft furely leaver 
 
 JEnough for me and you, 
 
 N in. Life 
 
l82 HORACE S ODE II. B. 2. 
 
 III. 
 Life does not want this vain parade, 
 Why then fhould you be thus afraid, 
 
 Who (hare Thalia's ftore ? 
 Give us but health and competence, 
 We both, I truft, have too much fenfe, 
 
 To wifh — or care for more. 
 
 IV. 
 Alas ! my friend, with rapid pace, 
 Your fportive youth and ev'ry grace, 
 
 That decks your perfon, fly : 
 While wither'd age, with equal fpeed, 
 And cares, to am'rous joys fucc^ed, 
 
 And gentle deep deny. 
 
 v. 
 
 The vernal flowers that now fo fair, . 
 With balmy fweets perfume the air, 
 
 Will lofe their blooming grace : 
 The ruddy moon, that now fo bright, 
 Spreads o'er the fky her filver light, 
 
 Will wear a diff'rent face. 
 
 VI. Why 
 
IMITATED* . *8,3 
 
 VI, 
 Why then mould we, my worthy friend, 
 IncefTantly our toil attend? 
 
 And while the day is fine, 
 Why not, with cheerful hearts, retreat, 
 And take our glafs on yonder feat, 
 
 Beneath that lofty pine? 
 
 VII. 
 Wine diflipates the biting cares, 
 Which ev'ry mortal fometimes mares, 
 
 And makes the heart right glad : 
 A copious ftream runs thro' my courts 
 Let Joe then cool our ardent port, 
 
 For Joe's an aclive lad ! 
 
 VIII. 
 And let fair Lydia hafte along ; 
 And give us one casleftial fong ; 
 
 If haply fhe be found : > 
 For Lydia {trolls about, I wot, 
 Like Venus* in a carelefs knot, 
 
 Her lovelv trefles round. * 
 
 * I have always admired the eafy fimple clofe of fevera! 
 Odes of Horace j particularly Ode V. J3. z. where he coin- 
 pares 
 
184 Horace's ode, &c. 
 
 pares the unconcerned manner with which Regulus returns on 
 his parole to Carthage, though he knew he mould be put to 
 torture j with that of an eminent lawyer, going (after the 
 Term) to his country feat, at Richmond or Windfor, &c. 
 
 (( Tendens Venafranos in agros 
 *' Ant Lacedaemonium Tarentun." 
 
 And Od. 31. B. 1. <c Turpem fenectam, 
 
 " Degere, nee cythara carentem." 
 
 TO 
 
C *& 1 
 
 TO 
 
 AMOS GREEN, Eso, 
 
 In return for a beautiful Drawing of his i 
 conveyed to me by Mrs. C — de, 
 
 Tho' winter foon will clofe th' autumnal 
 
 fcene, 
 Your landfkapes, Amos, will be ever green ; 
 Still blooming as the charms of lovely C — de, 
 Tho' feafons change, your tints fhall never 
 
 fade. 
 But ah ! this token of your kind regard, 
 Is ill repaid by rhymes from fuch a Bard : 
 A Ptf^fhould record a Painter's name, 
 My rhymes, I fear, will fully your bright 
 
 fame, 
 
 Let 
 
l86 TO AMOS GREEN, ESQ, 
 
 Let Shenftone's* profe then, for he knew 
 
 thee well, 
 Let Truth's, not Fi&ion's tongue, thy merits 
 
 tell ' 
 
 She his Letter the 90th. 
 
 CON. 
 
C 187 3 
 
 CONSOLATORY SMILES. 
 
 As thro' the ftreet I ftroll, my gloomy bread, 
 With real or with fancied ills oppreft, 
 Some flately prieft or empty fop I meet, 
 Who proudly turn afide, or coldly greet. 
 Their pride a wife man would defpife I ween, 
 And fo do I — yet they augment my fpleen. 
 
 But if fome lovely nymph, like Lady , 
 
 With fmiling, friendly afpeft:, crofs my way, 
 Who, happy in herfelf, to all extends 
 Thofe fweet regards with which fhe greets 
 
 her friends, 
 As oft the fun when mills obfcure the dawn, 
 Darts thro' the clouds his beams and gilds the 
 
 lawn ; 
 Her winning Jmiles and beauty's cheering ray,» 
 Difpells the gloom and every thing looks gay. 
 
 FRU- 
 
FRUGALITY 
 
 THE 
 
 SOURCE OF GENEROSITY, 
 
 On the liberal Snbfcription of £2000 by a 
 Country Gentleman for the Defence of the 
 Country, 1798. 
 
 Riches poffefs'd by men of worth and knk f 
 The joys of life to multitudes difpenfe; 
 Yet half the ills that plague mankind we're 
 
 told, 
 Spring from the baneful influence of gold : 
 And Mifers are the Bard's perpetual theme ; 
 Who never gold beheld — but in a dream ; 
 Who thinks a man with'fixpence in his purfe, 
 Deferves the Poet's lafh, the Spendthrift's 
 
 purfe : 
 
 And 
 
FRUGALITY, &c. 189 
 
 And fwears, tho' he himfelf's not worth a 
 groat — 
 
 CEconomy's beneath a wife man's thought. 
 But be it by thefe Spendthrifts underftood] 
 
 That who Javes mqft, has power to do mqfl 
 good : 
 
 Who to himfelf thofe luxuries denies, 
 
 From whence the poor with comforts he fup- 
 plies : 
 
 And mould his country's caufe his aid de- 
 mand, 
 
 He lavijlies his wealth with liberal hand. 
 
 Such men deferve th' applaufe of every 
 tongue ; 
 
 Know then ! one fuch there is — his name is 
 L — NC. 
 
 A COR. 
 
[' *9° 1 
 
 CORPORATION FEAST 
 
 AT 
 
 BATH. 
 
 -*-— — u Satur eft cum decit Horatius Evce !"* 
 
 JWIN, 
 
 All that good cheer and focial mirth affoF^, 
 We've this day tafted at the feftive bkoard ; 
 No more let rural Mayors or City feafts, 
 And Aldermen, provoke malignant jefls : 
 Nor envious Bards, excluded from the treat, 
 Blafpheme the cuftard,f which they long to 
 eat! 
 
 * A Bard, when hungry, is often very dull, 
 But fings with rapture ! when his belly's full. 
 
 Anonym, 
 
 f Butler's remains. 
 
 Behold J 
 
A CORPORATION FEAST 391 
 
 Behold! at Bath, to check the fcurril fneer, 
 A group of gentlemen, incorporate there! 
 For fcience and for lib'ral manners known, 
 Whofe fealls are fumptuous, th' expence 
 
 their owal* 
 There H-rr — ton affumes the guardian care ; 
 There M-yf-y deign'd to grace the Praetor's 
 
 chair, 
 Nor does this city boaft her P-lm-rf lefs ; 
 Whom ev'ry faithful lover's board to blefs ! 
 Th'ofe favour'd guefts, who at this banquet 
 
 r.t, 
 
 Enjoy a " Feaft of Reafon" and of wit; 
 Divefted of their flate, intent to pleafe, 
 Here Lords with Commoners, converfe at 
 
 eafe: 
 With Thynne* and Arden, C-md-n conde- 
 
 fcends, 
 From public cares, to gratify his friends ; 
 
 * Partly ; the allowance beiilg feldom fufrlcicnt. 
 + Whofe active genius proje&ed th; more expeditious con- 
 veyance of letters. 
 
 + Our Representatives and Recorder. 
 
 Yet 
 
2 $2 A CORPORATION FEAST. 
 
 Yet 'midft the facial glafs, promotes the caufe 
 Of loyalty and reverence for the laws. 
 
 But thofe, who fraught with fpleen or itoic 
 
 pride, 
 Thefe free convivial meetings would deride ; 
 Who, foes to order, to the good and wife, 
 Would teacli the crowd their rulers to de~ 
 
 fpife ; 
 Let them to France and Anarchy refort I 
 With Jacobins enjoy their barb'rp-us fport, 
 Go feaft on fallad, learn a frog to carve, 
 And with Republicans hzjlavetr-^axui ftarvc, 
 
 AN 
 
C *93 1 
 
 AN INVETERATE ' 
 
 t RHYMER'S FAREWELL 
 
 TO THE 
 
 MUSES. 
 
 Written in a Morning's Walk at Stourhead* 
 
 Still charm'd with groves and lawns and. 
 
 winding ftreams, 
 And all the witchery of poetic dreams : 
 While thefe gay vifions realiz'd by Hoare, 
 Still warm my fancy, active at fourfcore ; 
 While num'fous friends, attentive to afluage 
 The various ills that hover round old age ; 
 With kindnefs undeferv'd, politely flrive 
 To keep my languid love of life alive : 
 How can I wifh thefe comforts to forego, 
 The charms which thefe Arcadian fcenes be™ 
 
 flow ? 
 
 But 
 
194 TH£ RHYMER S FAREWELL. 
 
 But when I feel, alas ! each year, each day t 
 Some blunted fenfe or faculty decay ; 
 When ufelefs grown to life's important endsj 
 I live a burden to indulgent friends : 
 Doom'd an inglorious holiday to keep, 
 My fole concern — to eat and drink and fleep* 
 When no return my feeble pow'rs can make, 
 Why mould I thus their friendly care par- 
 take ? 
 Why mould I longer wilh to linger where 
 No ray of hope remains life's gloom to cheer ? 
 Why not retreat ! nor tire the publick eye ; 
 At home contented live — and learn to die. 
 
 No. III. 
 
PART III; 
 
 OUISOUITIsE. 
 
 HUMOROUS. 
 
[ *97 3 
 
 MATERNAL DESPOTISM ; 
 6r> 
 THE RIGHTS OF INFANTS * 
 
 Unhand me nurfe! thou faucy queaft ! 
 What does this female tyrant mean ? 
 Thus, head and foot, in fwathes to bind, 
 'Spite of the " Rights of human kind ;' ? 
 And lay me ftretch'd upon my back, 
 (Like a poor culprit on the rack j) 
 An infant, like thyfelf, born free, 
 And independent, flut ! on thee. 
 
 Have I not right to kick and fpraw-1, 
 To laugh or cry, to fqueak or fquall ! 
 Has ever, by my aft and deed, 
 Thy right to rule me been decreed ? . 
 
 * -In allufioa to Payne's " Rights, of Man;" and Mrs, 
 'Wolflpncroft'8 *' Rights of Women." 
 
 O How 
 
i 9 8 
 
 THE RIGHTS OF INFANTS, 
 
 How dar'ft thou, defpot ! then controu! 
 Th' exertions of a free-born foul ? • 
 
 Tho' now an infant, when I can, 
 I'll rife and feize " -The Rights of Man ;*' 
 Nor make my haughty nurfe alone, 
 But monarch's tremble on their throne ; 
 And boys and kings thenceforth you'll fee, 
 Enjoy complete Equality. ; 
 
 £>OGR£L 
 
I *99 ] 
 
 DOGREL RHYMES * 
 Or, THE RIGHTS OF DOGS. 
 
 On the Propofal for diminijhing the Con- 
 Jumption of Food, byfiarving the Dogs. 
 
 AGAINST THE TYRANNY OF MAN ! 
 
 Can it, ye Britons, then be true ? 
 Was this dire fcheme deviz'd by you ? 
 A fcheme, humanity's difgrace, 
 To mafTacre an harmlefs race ! 
 Ah no ! fome Jacobin began 
 This yet unheard-of claim of man 5 
 This charter for himfelf to carve, 
 And all his fellow-brutes to ftarve. 
 Return Tom Paine ! high fed with frogs. 
 And vindicate " The Rights of Dogs" 
 
 * N. B. Written in confequence of an humane and inge* 
 fjious Letter by John Taylor, Efq. in the Bath Herald. 
 
 o 2 Poor 
 
200 DOGREL RHYMES. 
 
 Poor Stella ! by thy looks I fee 
 This plot is not unknown to thee : 
 This curfe on thy devoted head, 
 Robbed of thy due — " A cruft of bread.' 3 
 Thy looks fhduld our compafiTion move, 
 Thofe looks of hunger and of love. 
 
 Shall tyrant Man ! array 'd in power, 
 Heaven's choiceft gifts alone devour ? 
 And his domeftic (lave not dare 
 The refufe of his board — to share ?-— 
 
 By night the wolves ;'- — ;in open day 
 The lions boldly feize their prey ; 
 And all thebeafts that' range the fields, 
 Un-envied eat what nature yields : 
 
 Shall Dogs, that left their native woods 
 To guard our manfions and our goods ; 
 Watch o'er our flocks, our conftant friend, 
 And fondly on our fteps attend ; 
 Shall they alone be difregarded, 
 Their faithful fervice unrewarded ? 
 Forbid it heaven ! — It mufl not be ; 
 Nor Ma n renounce humanity ; 
 
 Con- 
 
liOCREL RHYMES. 201 
 
 Confound, ye Gods ! th' exclufive plan ; 
 Confound edichjeljijk fcheme of man ! 
 No Herald* then the facl: proclaim ! 
 No Chronicled record our fhame I 
 Let not the Sun* the deed behold ! 
 Nor in our Journals* be it told : 
 This truth Courier* nor Star* advance* 
 Nor tell it to our Friends in France ! 
 But when both Dogs and Men are rotten* 
 Be it eternally forgotten ! 
 
 * Newfpapers* 
 
 § TK£ 
 
[ 202 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 RIGHTS OF REPTILES, 
 
 TO A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG SNAIL, 
 
 Emblem of patient refignation! 
 Contented in thy lowly ftation : 
 Who free from feuds and noify ftrife, 
 Peaceful and Jilent pafs thro' life : 
 Nor led by giddy freaks aftray, 
 You calmly ileal along the way ; 
 From Virtue's path ne'er turn afide, 
 Tho' often trampled on by Pride ; 
 And crujk'd beneath oppreflion's weight 
 By haughty man, who ftruts in flate i 
 Tho'Jlow, to one chief point you tend; 
 Yet, fure at lafl to gain your end : 
 
 Poor ; 
 
THE RIGHTS OF REPTILES. 263 
 
 Poor, unoffending, gentle Snail ! * 
 My counter part — poor Reptile hail ! 
 
 Tho' horns you have, they're not to found, 
 But guard yourfelf — not others wound : 
 Yet often fheath'd within their focket, 
 As men fometimes their horns will pocket. 
 
 Your houfe — and what few things you 
 lack,* 
 You wifely carry on your back : 
 For in thefe times we all have found, 
 Bafe thieves and houfebreakers abound. 
 Your houfe, a fhell of various hues ; 
 Not children only to amufe, 
 But, if a Virtuofo gains, 
 His joy o'er-pays a twelvemonth's pain's A" 
 
 You fometimes feaft upon our fruit, 
 Your languid fpirits to recruit : , 
 But is exclujive right then given, 
 To man ! of all the gifts of heaven ? 
 
 * " Omnia meamecum porto," fays the Philofopher* 
 
 + See the chara&er of Sir Geoffry Gimcrcokc in the Tat- 
 h\y. I think. 
 
 Oh f 
 
504 THE RIGHTS OF REPTILES. 
 
 Oh! I deteft fuch felfifh dealings, 
 So uncongenial with my feelings . 
 Snails furely are our fellow-creatures, 
 Tho' fomejlight difference in our features; 
 And when their race perfection* reaches, 
 Snails too may have their plumbs and peaches, 
 And inter eft pay, when in their ppw'r, 
 For all our fruit which they devour. 
 
 Come then, and on my peaches feed ; 
 And, tho' too numerous your breed ; \ 
 
 I would not crufh you for the world — 
 But, to my neighbour's garden hurl'd/fr' 
 Make him contribute his affiflance ; 
 To meliorate your fhort exiftence : 
 For in this wife, enlighten'd age, 
 Equality is quite the rage : 
 
 * See the modern writers on Perfectibility. 
 
 + I put this cafe to a French Cafuiftj Which was the 
 greater fin j to kill a. Snail, or throw him into your neigh- 
 bours garden? He determined the latter, contrary to my 
 
 opinion. 
 
 Ani 
 
THE RIGHTS OF REPTILES. 20J 
 
 And if, by toil, you've gain'd great {lore. 
 You're bound to did the idle poor. 
 
 When Sol thro' mifts emits his ray, 
 And winter's gloom contracts the day, 
 Retir'd within your humble cell, 
 At home, like me, you love to dw.ell ; 
 There doze away your vacant time, 
 While I, more idle read — and rhyme : 
 Thus a Reclufe I live, like you ; 
 Poor, harmlefs Reptile ! then Adieu { 
 
 MUK, 
 
[ 206 ] 
 
 MURDER AND ADULTERY? 
 
 OR, 
 
 CHASTITY POLLUTED. 
 
 *— — -Scielus eft jugulore Falernum.— — — Mar. 
 
 My wine is good, not better has the king ; 
 My watet's pure, from yon Caftalian fpring, 
 Of each, alone Sir, you may drink your fill ; 
 Of wine — a dozen bumpers, if you will ; 
 But why good wine with water thus dilute ? 
 Or why th' unfullied Lymph with wine pol« 
 
 lute ? 
 Wine mix'd with water, moll wife men 
 
 agree, 
 Is downright Murder and Adultery, 
 
 The 
 
207 MURDER AND ADULTERY. 
 
 The water foil'd, is like a wife unchajfte ; 
 And wine, thus murder'd, palls upon the 
 
 ' tafte.* 
 If then with me, my friend, you wifh to dine s 
 Drink water if you pleafe, but fpare my wine. 
 
 * I am convinced, by my own experience, at leair, tkat 
 wine and water palli the ftomach. Drink your wine firft and 
 yemr water after it. Sydenham recommends (f Cercv.fip. te> 
 nulsj" or table beer, as the moft whohfome beverage, 
 
 BOTANY- 
 
[ 2°3 ] 
 
 BOTANY. BAY. 
 
 A NEW SONG. 
 
 To the Time of—" By Jove ! Til be free J : 
 
 C>OME all ye young virgins, fo frolic and fair,- 
 Who the market have tried — and of hufbands 
 
 defpair ; 
 Bid adieu ! to old England, and trip it attayv 
 And join the bold convi£ts at Botany-Bay. 
 
 At Botany- Bay ; 
 And join the bold Convicts at Botany-Bay. 
 
 it. 
 
 If flighted by neighbours, to fcandal inclin'd, 
 
 For having been once to a lover too kind ; 
 
 Defpife their bafe cenfurc; come trip it away, 
 
 And join the bold Convicts at Botany-Bay. 
 
 At Botany-Bay, &c. 
 
 in Among. 
 
BOTANY-BAY*- 209 
 
 ' III. 
 
 Among five hundred felons, a man you may 
 
 chufe, 
 Who like you too has no reputation -to lofe; 
 Then folace each other by night and by day, 
 No fcandal can hurt you at Botany-Bay. 
 At Botany-Bay, &c, 
 
 Tho' a thief or a robber, in that common- 
 weal, 
 
 Live honeft he mull—- where there's nothing 
 to Heal ; 
 
 And where halters are plenty ; for Botaniit's 
 fay. 
 
 The fineft of hemp grows at Botany-Bay. 
 At Botany -Bay, &c. 
 
 v. . 
 How happy you'll live in your peregrination. 
 Where you've nothing to do but attend pro- 
 creation 
 
 The 
 
$10- BOTANY-BAY. 
 
 The more children yoir get, the better you'll 
 
 pay 
 Your debt to old England at Botany-Bay. 
 At Botany-Bay, &c. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Prom fuch worthy parents each worthy de«» 
 
 fcendant 
 May hereafter grow rich — and become inde« 
 
 pendent. 
 Then laugh at old England, who fent you 
 
 away, 
 And fo happily plac'd you at Botany-Ba^, 
 At Botany-Bay, &c, 
 
 VII. 
 
 Our American friends, by Frenchmen de« 
 
 ceiv'd, 
 From fancied oppreflion may think they're 
 
 reliev'd ; 
 
 Tho s 
 
BOTANY-BAY. 211 
 
 Tho* for England's mild laws they'll have 
 
 defpotic fway, 
 But we hope better things from Botany-Bay* 
 At Botany-Bay, &c, 
 
 N. B. This was written during the American conteft ; whic& 
 fcowcver terminated better to each party than was expected, 
 
 JOHN 
 
[ 212 J 
 
 JOHN BA£1?^ SEDITIOUS TEXT. 
 
 *' When Adam delv'd, and Eve fpun^ 
 " Who was then a Gentleman ?" 
 
 ANSWER. 
 
 When naked all, like Eve and Adam, 
 Your Joan might be as good as Madam ; 
 And, tillage then the only trade, 
 We all had learnt to ufe the fpade. 
 
 But, tho' mankind are ftill the fame t 
 And equal rights by nature claim ; 
 Yet, if no focial laws exifted, 
 And every man did what he lilted ; 
 If all mankind rnuil dig ox f pin, 
 You'd luve no covering but your fkin. 
 
 * A fanatic prieft in the Reign of Richard II. who hy his 
 feditious fcrmoiis and rhymes, without reafon, fowed the feeds 
 of Wat Tylers Rebellion, 
 
 For, 
 
jo&N ball's seditious text. 213 
 
 For, who would weave, or be your taylor ? 
 Who'd be a foldier or a fajlor ? 
 Who'd make your tables or your fhelves ? 
 'Troth ! you mull make them all yqurfelves 
 
 Let each man then affifl his neighbour, 
 And each perform fome ufeful labour : 
 Thus various arts would be invented, 
 And thofe> now poor and difcontented, 
 Might Toon grow rich, by labouring more; 
 While lazy folks mull needs be poor : 
 For why mould they, who take no pains, 
 Rob others of their honefl gains ? 
 While fome obey, and Tome command, 
 And each man lends an helping hand ; 
 While thofe belt fkill'd, tile veflel fleer, 
 Each may be happy in his fphere. 
 In fhort, 'tis evident^ you fee, 
 That different ranks there needs mufi be; 
 There mufi be then, fay what you caa, 
 That dreadful thing— a Gentleman ! 
 
 f 
 
L 21 4 ■] 
 
 ON THE 
 
 VOLUNTARY SUBSCRIPTIONS 
 
 FOR 
 
 INTERNAL & EXTERNAL DEFENCE. 
 
 ■ ■" His fword the brave man draws, 
 " And wants no omen but his Country's caufe." 
 
 Britannia, Queen of Ifles! by.heav'n de- 
 
 fign'd 
 To guard the focial rights of human kind ; 
 Where genuine freedom gilds the .fertile 
 
 plains, 
 And pure Religion, yet unbanifh'd, reigns ; 
 Where equal laws all ranks, well-pleas'd 
 
 obey, 
 Secur'd from Kings' or Mobs' tyrannic fway: 
 Now arm'd to drive invaders from the land, 
 Her patriotic fons embodied Hand. 
 
 ■ He, 
 
VOLUNTARY SUBSCRIPTIONS. 21^ 
 
 He, that to guard from a barbarian horde 
 His country's freedom, would not draw his 
 
 fword, 
 Deferves to be a flave ; — yet he does worfe, 
 In fuch a caufe who would not draw his 
 
 purfe. 
 
 DOMESTIC 
 
[ *>« ] 
 
 DOMESTIC COMFORT, 
 
 OR, 
 
 SATURDAY NIGHT s EMPLOYMENT. 
 
 WHO e'er has feen on Afric's fandy fhoar, 
 Where favage monfter's lurk and lions roar ; 
 Burft from th' entangled thicket in her way 
 An hungry tigrefs rufhing on her prey : 
 In vain the hunter's fhouts aflault her ears, 
 She fcorns their clamours and defies their 
 
 fpears ; 
 Unawed amidft th' attacks of dogs and men, 
 She bears her prize, triumphant to her den. 
 With equal fury, arm'd with mops and 
 
 brooms, 
 The headftrong houfe-maid traverfeg. your 
 
 rooms : 
 
 No force her operations can withftand ; 
 
 Nor gods nor men arreft her fcouring hand. 
 
 About 
 
DOMESTIC COMFORT. 21J 
 
 About her waift her twifled apron's bound ; 
 On pattens rais'd fhe ftalks the apartments 
 
 round. 
 Her floating batteries darning from her pail, 
 By hydroftatic laws the walls .aflail. 
 Her rofy arms their wonted labours ply, 
 Chairs, tables, fophas, fkreens before her fly. 
 In vain her reverend mailer florins and frets, 
 Madam commands, and Nancy fcorns his. 
 
 threats. 
 His books and papers fcattered on the floor : 
 He/wears; fhe laughs, and fings and fcrubs 
 
 the more ; 
 (For evils in domeflic life there are, 
 Nor this the lead, would make a par/on fwear) 
 Till wet and damp each room, the faucy quean, 
 Now proudly boafts, " The hou/e /or once is 
 
 clean ;" 
 For wet and clean, with ev'ry Britifh dame, 
 Say what you pleafe, will always mean the 
 
 fame. 
 
 P 3 ' DEVOUT 
 
[ fii8 ] 
 
 DEVOUT MEDITATIONS : 
 
 OR, 
 
 SUNDAY NIGHTS AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 Heu ! pietas ; lieu ! prifcoi Jides ! 
 
 Wherever numerous parties meet, 
 From Portland — to St. James's Street ; 
 Or fharpers prey upon the filly, 
 From Charing Crofs to Piccadilly ; 
 To all the world Clarinda's known 4 
 The life,, the centre of the ton : 
 To th' idle, profligate, or gay, 
 Her houfe is open, night and day ; 
 Where, Vice and Folly in a league, 
 They loiter, gamble, or intrigue. 
 As the old ting-tang,* or faints bell, 
 Calls folks to church by its. (harp knell—- 
 
 * As ladies of this description were probably never in a conn* 
 try church, they muft know, this little bell, called the Saint's- 
 • bell, is rung when the fervice is jult beginning — and by its 
 quick motion feerr.s to exprefs* <f Come! all as will come." 
 
DEVOUT MEDITATIONS. 219 
 
 " Come, all as will come," all are welcome ; 
 
 (If they will play J let imps from hell come : 
 
 Tor, be it known, to fill her rout, 
 
 Jive hundred Cards are fent about, 
 
 On that bleft day which man and beaft, 
 
 By heaven's command/ devote to reft. 
 
 Hear this, good Chriftians all, and tremble, 
 
 While you, in godly fort aflemble 
 
 To fay your prayers, or hear a fermon, 
 
 (Refrefhing ! as the dew of Hermon) 
 
 Thefe furies hold their horrid rites, 
 
 Like witches on the Sunday nights. 
 
 And, fpite of laws, divine and civil, 
 
 Invite the World,* the Flefh,f and Devil. £ 
 
 Open for Vice a public fchool 
 
 To allure the young from Virtue's rule ; 
 
 Divert the old till their laft breath, 
 
 From thinking on th' approach of death ; 
 
 'Till unawares this thoughtlefs band 
 
 Die, with four Honours in their hand.§ 
 
 * Lady . + Lady . J Mrs - ' > &c « 
 
 § Ace, King, Queen, and Knave. 
 
 A fenfe of fharae, it is hoped, has of late given fome checl^ 
 to thefe indecencies. 
 
220 
 
 *HE 
 
 DOMESTIC DESPOT 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE HEROIC TAYIOR. 
 
 Xho' want of Liberty's the cant ? 
 'Tis all but democratic rant — - 
 Tho' royal defpots are a curfe, 
 Domeftic tyrants ftill are worfe. 
 But now and then Kings can do wrong— •* 
 At home, we're tortur'd all day long ; 
 And when thofe flaves (that JJiould obey) 
 Our wives — ufurp tyrannic fway, 
 This, fure, no mortal man can bear ; 
 'Twould almoft make a parfon fwear* 
 
 A taylor and his buxom wife. 
 Liv'd quite a fafhionable life ; 
 
 Ho 
 
THE DOMESTIC DESPOT. 22* 
 
 He ftill at home ; 'Jke always out, 
 A reftlefs goffip, ftroll'd about : 
 Having no children to amufe 
 Her leifure hours, {he liv'd on news. 
 For fovereignty they often ftrove ; 
 She a fierce hawk, he a meek dove. 
 
 One morning, crofs-leg'd like a Turk, 
 Poor Snip fate harmlefs at his work ; 
 9 T\\'2sJmall-cloaths for the f quire, of filk: 
 ** Come down V cries fhe, " and fetch the 
 milk." 
 
 This language too defpotic feem'd, 
 Not fit for wives, the good man deemM. 
 Poor Snip demurr'd; tho' much afraid ; 
 Yet refolutely difobey'd. 
 Her fury now began to roufe ; 
 She wrench'd the breeches from her fpoufe— ■» 
 Nay, pull'd her fultan down at once, 
 Belabour'd him — about the fconce 
 With her flioe-heel and arm fo able ; 
 Then fhov'd him underneath the table : 
 
 " There 
 
222 THE DOMESTIC DESPOT. 
 
 4 There lie!" quoth fhe; and flrain'd his 
 
 neck faft, 
 e There lie! till I have eat my breakfafh" 
 And now triumphantly fhe fate, 
 And fipp'd her tea in regal Hate. 
 RolI'd up, like woqd-loufe, neck and heels, 
 Poor prick-loufe foon indignant feels 
 His bale fubje&ion to a vixen 
 Who infolently cuffs and kicks 'en, • 
 At length, poor Snip, with fore difmay, 
 Looks up — in hopes to find a way 
 
 To free' himfelf from this difgraee 
 
 The moment fhe beheld his face, 
 Again flie makes the poor man fee? 
 The vengeance of her fharp fhoe-heel : 
 And often as his nofe fhe fpies, 
 'What | dar'ft thou peep ?" his tyrant cries; 
 " Yes! huffy; and, do what you can, 
 " Will peef-pQI long as I'm a man !" 
 "A man!" quoth (he, « thou mean'fl a 
 
 moufe; 
 " Go! vent thy fury on a loufe— 
 
 '• I 
 
THE DOMESTIC DESPOT. 223 
 
 11 I fcorn thy threats, and wifh to fee 
 *' Nine men, (and better men than thee) 
 " Attack me thus iiicceffively : 
 " Thou'lt fee them in the combat fall ; 
 u And me victorious o'er them all." 
 
 } 
 
 THE 
 
[ 22 4 ] 
 
 THE PROXY. 
 
 Survey the conduct of mankind; 
 
 Unlefs it too much fjiocks ye, 
 His duty no one does, you'll find 
 
 Por all is done by Proxy* 
 
 ii. 
 
 To every office mould you go % 
 The Principal but mocks ye ; 
 
 He's at his country-feat, I trow, , 
 His bufinefs done by Proxy. 
 
 in. 
 The King himfelf, who fleers the helm, 
 
 And Britain, firm as rock, fee ! 
 Sail-s fteadily-r-yet frill the realm, 
 
 In facl, is rul'd by Proxy. 
 
 iv. For 
 
THE PROXV. 22£ 
 
 IV. 
 
 For Howe, with Hood, and fome few more* 
 From cut-throats fafely locks ye ; 
 
 And keeps fecu're the Britifh more ; 
 But they too have their Proxy. 
 
 v. 
 
 Some Admirals and Generals fight, 
 Who never camp or dock — fee ; 
 
 But plagu'd with gout, keep out of fight$ 
 And fail or fight by Proxy. 
 
 VI. 
 
 When, gone to fea, the tar behind 
 
 Is forced to leave his doxy ; 
 On his return he oft' will find, 
 
 She's pregnant grown by Proxy* 
 
 VII. 
 
 The coachman, if inclin'd to nap, . 
 And fleep upon the box, he 
 
 Will give the reins to fome bold chap* 
 
 And drive his coach by Proxy. 
 
2PS THE FROXy* 
 
 vi i r. 
 Your banker fafely keeps your treafure, 
 
 Which, rolling in the flocks, he 
 Makes ufe of for his private pieafure— 
 
 His paper is his Proxy. 
 
 IX. 
 
 Your Butler and your Groom have wives, 
 In filk and holland fmocks, fee ! 
 
 What wonder then they whet your knives . 
 And drefs your horfe by Proxy ? 
 
 x: 
 Pray, John, where does your Re£lor live ; 
 
 So fam'd for orthodoxy ? 
 At Lon'non mailer, I believe, 
 . But preaches here by Proxy. 
 
 XI. 
 
 He fludies polfcics, 1 hear, 
 
 He'll moot, or hunt, or box ye ; 
 And feldom goes to church, I fear, 
 
 Bat fays his prayers by Proxy. 
 
 XII, Well 
 
THE PROXY, 227 
 
 XII. 
 
 Well ; farmer, you fit by your Ere, 
 
 Your man in dirty frock, fee ! 
 Does all your work for {lender hire, 
 
 You plow and fow by Proxy. . 
 
 XIII. 
 
 Your ihepherd deeps upon the ground, 
 To watch his ftraggling flock, fee ! 
 
 Yet where, alas ! would they be found. 
 But for the dog — his Proxy. 
 
 / 
 
 XIV. 
 
 My chimney-fweeper, in yon court, . 
 
 His pipe all day he cocks, fee, 
 While felf-ftarv'd imps — That is your fprt ! 
 
 Do all his work by Proxy • 
 
 xv r 
 In ev'ry po.ft of Church or State, 
 
 Of deputies what flocks, fee ! 
 
 Why mould it then furprife create, 
 
 - If t ! - heaven they go by Proxy. 
 
 *THE 
 
£ 228 ) 
 
 THE 
 
 POLICE DISARMED. 
 
 * c Dat Yeruani corns, vexat cenfura Columbas. 
 
 Jut. 
 
 In Bath, tho' pleafure keeps her fplendid 
 
 court ; 
 Of rich and idle folks the bleft refort ; 
 Where routs and concerts, feaftsj the ball p 
 
 the play, 
 Exhiierate the night and cheer the day : 
 She yet, with vagrant throngs infefled, grieves 
 Of lame and blind, of proftitutes and thieves* 
 Th' offenfive fight of this difaft'rous crew, 
 Hurts the Jine feelings of the happier few. 
 
 The magiflrate in wrath the nuifance faw; 
 Hurl'd from his bench the thunder of the law : 
 
 Forth 
 
THE POLICE DISARMED. 229 
 
 Forth rufh'd his myrmidons, of office proud, 
 Swept from the ftreets the miferable crowd : 
 No more the lame, the blind, the old unfeen ; 
 But, for her nymphs alarm'd, the Paphian 
 
 queen, 
 As when her Trojan fonj in flowing veft, 
 She kindly met,* like mortal damfel dreft, 
 Defcends, with fmiles the ruffian bard to 
 
 greet, 
 The liftors charm'd, ftopp'd fhort in Garrard- 
 
 ftreet.f 
 There youth and beauty itor'd, difplay their 
 
 charms, 
 And take the cafual lover to their arms : 
 The laws and liclors there indulgent prove, 
 And bow fubmiffive at the fhrine of love. 
 
 * Virg. En. 
 
 t The retreat of injured innocence. 
 
 Q OJST 
 
[ 2 3° 3 
 
 Ott THE 
 
 PRESENT LOOSE DRAPERY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 FAIR SEX. 
 
 Ladies of old, 'twas underflood, 
 Were poor frail creatures, flefh and blood ! 
 Too prone their virtue to furrender 
 To ev'ry faucy, bold pretender : 
 Who, from within by rebels aided, 
 Th' aflault could rarely be evaded. 
 Yet, anxious to continue chafle, 
 With whale-bone they fecur'd the waifl ; 
 Which, ftiff with buckram, lac'd and twilled, 
 The fierce invader's force refilled : 
 Thus arm'd with flays and female pride, 
 Her lovers many a nymph defy'd. 
 
 But 
 
ON THE LOOSE DRAPERY, 8cC. 231 
 
 But now, like angels, chafte and pure, 
 With rigid Virtue's fhield fecure, 
 The -gate's thrown open, cautions ceafe* 
 The nymph enjoys herfelf in peace.* 
 
 What, tho' flie has laid afide her ftays, 
 Prom Duty's path fhe rarely ftrays : 
 Her zone fhe binds beneath her breaft, 
 And only veils with lawn the reft : 
 And tho' by foes fometimes bombarded s 
 She leaves the citadel unguarded : 
 Still to herfelf and Virtue true, 
 She fears not what vain man can do.f 
 
 * Apertis otia portis. Ho*. 
 
 i I hope there will not be thought any thing indelicate m 
 this defcription of what the ladies do not think £0 in their 
 ftyleof drefs. 
 
 TO 
 
[ 2 3 2 1 
 
 TO THE LOVELY LADY 
 
 With beauty fuch, as rarely here below, 
 The fates vouchfafe on mortals to beftow : 
 The native rofes blooming in her cheeks, 
 Marcia from art fuperfluous luftre feeks; 
 And not contented with her envied doom 
 Afpires to dazzle with cseleftial bloom. 
 
 By Nature thus adorn'd, can then alas ! 
 FairMarcia's fkill the work of heaven furpafs? 
 Inftead of Life's warm tints, a lifelefs, cold 3 
 tJnanimated Pidure we behold. 
 Her own good fenfe to fafhion thus a flave, 
 Byartdeflroysthe charms which nature gave. 
 
 MY 
 
I 2 33 ] 
 
 MY PICTURE. 
 
 Tho' infignificant thro' life, I'm told, 
 I famous grow, by merely growing old : 
 Nor friends alone, but every man I meet, 
 With gracious greetings flops me in the ilreet ; 
 And feems to envy me my bleft condition, 
 To haye my Picture in the exhibition. 
 By Northcote painted ! and fo like, you'd fwear, 
 That I myfelf, in gown and fcarf, were there. 
 Hear then, my friends, the counfel that I 
 
 give; 
 Live fober lives, if long you wilh to live. 
 Be wife ! be good ! in no purfuits engage, 
 DeilrucKve of the reverence due to age. 
 And then do what you pleafe, 'tis, much, the 
 
 fame, 
 If you live long, you'll haply rife to fame: 
 Or, what is a much more comfortable truth, 
 Jn age enjoy the cheerful health of youth. 
 
 Q 3 TH3 
 
[ 2 34 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 UNIVERSAL REMEDY. 
 
 My grand-mpther, old Mrs. Shandy, 
 Is a great friend to right French Brandy 
 I often call upon her, and I, 
 Am always forc'd to take fome brandy : 
 If you are lick, flie'll then command 'ye, 
 To take a glafs of good French brandy : 
 If you are well — the bottle's handy, 
 She'll recommend a fip of brandv. 
 Have you a cold ? No fugar- candy 
 Is half fo ?ood as a little brandv : 
 If hot and faint, you'll find good brandy. 
 Believe me, Sir, " Solamen grande :"* 
 
 * A great comfort. 
 
 Fatigu'd 
 
THE UNIVERSAL REMEDY. 235 
 
 Fatigued at cricket, or at bandy, 
 " Here child, come ! take a fip of brandy :" 
 If on the road the fun have tann'd ye, 
 Why warn your face with a little brandy : 
 The road, you fay, is dry and fandy, 
 Rince your mouth with a drop of brandy ; 
 Should you be fea-fick, let them land ye, 
 And take a quart of right French brandy. 
 You feem quite faint, Sir ! let me hand ye 
 A glafs of madam's beft French Brandy ; 
 Your ftomach aches ? I underftand ye, 
 Here ! take this glafs of right Nantes brandy ; 
 If ftrain'd your leg, M vi amtalandi,"* 
 Bathe it with water mix'd with brandy ; 
 Nay, if your eye's fore, Mrs. Shandy 
 Thinks nothing better than good brandy. 
 In fhort, {he thinks you never can die, 
 If feafon'd well with right French brandy, 
 
 * By walking too much. 
 
 1Q 
 
[ «6 ] 
 
 A SIMILAR PRESCRIPTION 
 
 IN A 
 
 DIFFERENT VEHICLE* 
 
 x ou're crippled with the gout, at forty- 
 eight, 
 Yet wifh for health — and aft for my receipt : 
 My hale old age to temperance is due, 
 Which rule for Health I'd recommend to you 9 
 E'en luxury, when rightly underftood, 
 Is found, if hungry, in the plaineft food. • 
 
 * A poor woman, near Bath, having been ordered by the 
 do&or to give her hufband a dofe in a proper vehicle, confult- 
 cd the parfon what a vehicle was ? He told her a waggon, a 
 cart, or a wheel- barrow. The latter only being in her pofTef- 
 fion, the poor woman lifted her hufband fairly into the wheel- 
 barrow, and jumbled him up and down the ftony hill 5 which 
 fhe faid did him more good than all the Do&or's fluff. 
 
 But, 
 
A SIMILAR PRESCRIPTION. 237 
 
 But, ah ! your tafte for dainties is increas'd, 
 You talk with rapture of a City Feaft; 
 Of human ills oxsxfafiing deem the worft, 
 And boaft of eating turtle till you burft : 
 You think it death to lofe one fumptuous 
 
 treat ; 
 I glory in the haunch I do not eat : 
 Hence I enjoy a head* and confcience clear, 
 While you with gout are tortur'd half the 
 
 year. 
 
 * ! utinam ! 
 
 TO 
 
[ * 3 8 1 
 
 TO 
 
 MY THREE PERUKES. 
 
 A CONTRAST, 
 
 Alluding to Mr. A — r— 's Malus, Perjor 9 
 Pejimus* 
 
 Bonus! my long r tried friend, ftill faithful 
 
 found 
 Tho' florins and tempefls on my aged head 
 Have long their fury pour'd, you ftill flick 
 
 clofe, 
 Smile at fierce Boreas, and defy his rage. 
 Tho' time, and drizzling rains, thy curls re- 
 
 lax, 
 
 * Non tarn ceftandi cupidus, quam propter a morem quod 
 Tc imitari avco.——— Lucre. 
 
 By 
 
A CONTRAST. 239 
 
 By crifping irons reviv'd, they fcorn to droop, 
 But raife their creil, and round my temples 
 
 fpread, 
 Give to my wrinkled front the pride of 
 youth. 
 Grieve not, my friend ! you, nor your bre- 
 thren twain, 
 Melior, and full-dreft Optimus ! (than whom 
 Nor Orchard's felf, nor gentle Snailom,+ e'er 
 Produced a fairer fpecimen of ait :) 
 Grieve not, tho' robb'd of the fuperfluous aid 
 Of clogging meal, by Providence defign'd 
 To feed the poor ; for culinary ufe, 
 for parte or puddings meet, with plumbs en- 
 
 rich'd, 
 Concomitant of fam'd roaftbeef ; which gives 
 The Britiih Soldier his fuperior force, 
 To wage awhile unwelcome war, and teach 
 The fanguinary Gaul to fue for Peace. 
 
 i Two ingenious Artifts in Bath. 
 
 Mean- 
 
24© A CONTRAST. 
 
 Mean-while the produce of the olive branch 
 Shall give thy native brown a glofTy hue, 
 To vie with Peflimus; tho' rais'd to fame, 
 And fung by A — T — y in immortal fkains.. 
 
 THE 
 
[ *4* 3 
 
 IMPATIENT LOVER. 
 
 A PARODY, 
 
 Addrejfedio Mr. and Mrs. Gale * at Sydmy 
 Gardens. 
 
 IMPROMPTU. 
 
 1 e gentle Gales ! that ftation'd here, 
 
 Prefide o'er Sydney Groves ; 
 Go, whifper in my Delia's ear, 
 
 How much her Strephon loves. 
 
 Tell her, the Swain her ab fence mourns; 
 
 The rolls unbutter'd Hand ; 
 The coffee waits, till fhe returns, 
 
 And waves her lilly hand. 
 
 in 
 
 * Tenants of thofe beautiful Gardens. 
 
■4 2 
 
 THE IMPATIENT LOVER. 
 
 In vain the minftrel tunes his lyre, 
 The birds their carols dug;: 
 
 Her fmiles alone can joy infpire ; 
 Her prefence make the fpring. 
 
 But fhouM the nymph her flay prolongs 
 Her fwain can wait no longer ; 
 
 For tho' for her his paffion's ilrong, 
 His appetite is ftronger. 
 
 If, then, (lie ftill refolve to ftroll 
 
 With yonder giddy elves, 
 Our drooping fpirits we'll confole* 
 
 And break fall by ourfelves. 
 
 LIBERTY 
 
2 43 ] 
 
 LIBERTY AND PROPERTY, 
 
 A NEW SONG. 
 
 To the Tune of—-" By Jove ! Til be fret ?\ 
 
 INTENDED FOIL A PARTICULAR OCCASION. 
 
 Come all ye bold Britons, tho' Europe's in 
 
 arms, 
 Djfmifs your vain fears, and your groundlefs 
 
 alarms ; 
 No people on earth are fo happy as we ; 
 And while George is our King we Hill mult 
 
 be free^ 
 
 We ftill mull be free : 
 While .George is our King we ftill mull be 
 
 free. 
 
 II. From. 
 
244 LIBERTY AND PROPERTY. 
 II. 
 
 Prom your King let no traytors your loyalty 
 ileal ? 
 
 Nor of grievances dream, which no mortal 
 
 can feel : 
 No nation on earth has fewer than we, 
 For while George is our King we are hap^y 
 
 and free. 
 
 We are happy and free, &c. 
 
 nr. 
 Sufpecl; not your Monarch, without a jul! 
 
 caufe, 
 He ne'er can do wrong, while he rules by 
 
 the laws ; 
 And what nation on earth has fuch good laws 
 
 as we, 
 And beneath our good King, we're happy and 
 
 free. 
 
 We are happy and free, Sec, 
 
 iv. Let 
 
tIBERTY AND PROPERTY- 345 
 IV. 
 
 Let Frenchmen by oaths, nor by interefl 
 bound r 
 
 Infult their poor King,' and all orders con- 
 found ; 
 
 But let us then beware, while their madnefs 
 we fee, 
 
 And with George for our King — -be happy 
 and free. 
 
 Be happy and free, 8cc* 
 
 v. 
 
 In defence of our laws let all parties unite, 
 And on Jacobine Frenchmen exert all their 
 
 fpite ; 
 Who laugh in their fleeves, when our follies 
 
 they fee, 
 But in fpite of their plots, we'll be happy and 
 
 free. 
 
 We'll be haopy dnd free, &c; 
 
 " R VI. Drink 
 
24$ LIBERTY AND PROPERTY, 
 
 VI. 
 
 Drink an health to the King then, all good 
 
 men and true, 
 Who has naught but old England's true in* 
 
 tereft in view ;. 
 Let Frenchmen ftill prate of their <( Liberty 
 
 Tree;" 
 Whilft Briftans alone are happy and free. 
 
 Are happy and free ; 
 Whilft Britons alone are happy and free* 
 
 OTIB 
 
t 2 47 1 
 
 THE 
 
 TEMPLE OF THE MUSES ; 
 
 ©R, 
 
 FINSBURY-SQUARE. 
 
 E're Turks or Goths and barb'rous nations 
 
 round, 
 Had levell'd all her temples with the ground, 
 From Greece and fam'd ParnafTus' aiiy 
 
 height, 
 The Mufes had long fince fecuf 'd their flight. 
 In Latium, then, and Rome's infpired feat, 
 On Tibur's banks they found a fafe retreat ; 
 But foondifturb'd by horrid war's alarms ; 
 Their mufic filenc'd 'midfl the din of arms; 
 r 2 They 
 
248 THE TEMPLE OF THE MUSES. 
 
 They crofs'd the Alps, and were received in 
 
 France ; 
 But, fkill'd in fong — they had not learn'd to 
 
 dance : 
 And, when in loyal Arams they tun'd their 
 
 notes, 
 They fear'd the Jacobins would cut their 
 
 throats. 
 Efcap'd from thence to Britain they repair, 
 Sure of a refuge and a welcome there : 
 For there, they heard, that in this fayour'd 
 
 land, 
 Apollo dwejl'd — at London, in the Strand ;* 
 But tho' he fhone in ornament and drefs, 
 And all admir'd the fplendor of the Prefs ; 
 Like the rafh Phaeton, Apollp-fell, 
 And prov'd deflrucHve to his patron B— II. 
 
 * Where Mr. Bell eflablifhed the Apollo Prefs, and print- 
 ed the Englifh Poets in an elegant ftyle, and with beautiful en- 
 gravings ; but gratified the Public at liis own expence. 
 
 Minerva 
 
THE TEMPLE OF THE MUSES. 249 
 
 Minerva too, they found, had hid her head, 
 Far, in aftreet, that takes its name from Lead; 
 There fix'd his Prefs, efcap'd from Turkifti 
 
 hovels, 
 There lives in flate, and charms us with his 
 
 Novels.! 
 But fee ! at length, a nohler Genius rife, 
 Who all the Mufes' wants at once fupplies ; 
 Where L-ck-ngt-n has rear'd a fumptuous 
 
 dome, 
 In Finfb'ry- Square they've found a peaceful 
 
 home. 
 In L-ck-ngt-n's incalculable pages, 
 Are hid their treasures from remoteft ages : 
 Law, Phyfic, and Divinity, all find 
 Each Science in the Mufes' Temple's join'd. 
 
 Let Alexandria now no longer boaft 
 Her Library, that grac'd th' Egyptian coaftj 
 
 + Athens, facred to Minerva, now Inhabited by Turks in, 
 mlfepble hovels j tho' her own temples are ftill perfeft, 
 
 $ Mr. L — — e, the generous patron of Novel Writers. 
 
 R 3 Had 
 
2^0 THE TEMPLE OF THE MUSES, 
 
 Had Cssfar,* or the Vandals, learn'd to fpare, 
 Her fame had been eclips'd in Finfb'ry-. 
 
 Square. 
 But, can he dare to emulate the Vatican : 
 So late the pride of modern Rome? Aye, 
 
 that he can. 
 Oxford and Cambridge muft refign the bays, 
 And found fam'd L-ck-ngt-n, thy well-earn'd 
 
 praife* 
 
 * Julius Csefar accidentally fet fire to the Alexandrian Li- 
 brary, containing 4000 Volumes. 
 
 PART 
 
?• , 
 
 PART IV. 
 
 QPISQJJITIjE. 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS. 
 
[ 253 3 
 
 TRUE POLITENESS. 
 
 TO LADY M***H*B. 
 
 While thus with beauty, rank, and affluence 
 
 bleft, 
 And ev'ry charm, that in the female breaft, 
 Might lofty thoughts and vanity excite, 
 In lovely M — h-d happily unite ; 
 With native goodnefs, innocence and eafe ; 
 Her fole ambition feems to be — to pleafe. 
 Hence, to each humble gueft her care extends 
 With true politene/s, treating them as friends. 
 And, while unconfcious oijuperior claims; 
 At nojuperior deference flie aims ; 
 But, modeft, meek, and gentle as the dove, 
 With our profound efreem fhe gains our love. 
 
 TO 
 
[ 2 5i ] 
 
 A DISCONSOLATE VIRGIN. 
 
 Why fighs my Anna? why that air, 
 
 Expreffive of her deep defpair ? 
 
 Does me lament fome much-Iov'd friend, 
 
 Or, are her conquefis at an end ? 
 
 Does iome un-meaning, flutt'ring beau a 
 
 To virtuous love and worth a foe, 
 
 Transfer his flatteries from you, 
 
 And iome more blooming nymph purfue. 
 
 What, tho' the frefhnefs' of the rofe, 
 In Anna's cheeks np longer glows ; 
 Youth's early tint appears lefs bright ; 
 And e'en an hair or two looks white : 
 Tho' in her eyes no more is (cqii 
 The fpa&ling luftre of fifteen; 
 
 Yet, 
 
TO A DISCONSOLATE VIRGIN* 2$$ 
 
 Yet, in thofe eyes difplay'd, we find 
 The milder radiance of the mind. 
 Serene, yet cheerful, all appears, 
 As more befits maturer years : 
 Good-nature, kindnefs, and good fenfe, 
 With giggling pertnefs may difpenfe ; 
 For wit to wifdom mould give place, 
 And prudence with our years keep pace ; 
 Pops by coquetry may be won, 
 jBut wife men value fenfe alone. 
 
 When fuch fubftantial charms are thine. 
 Why mould my Anna then repine ; 
 She'll yet, I truft, become a wife, 
 And tafte the genuine fweets of life; 
 Or, if to fo much merit blind, 
 A partner fit, for life, to find 
 Her with mould unfuccefsful prove, 
 Friendfhip fhall fill the place of love. 
 
 10 
 
[ *& 3 
 
 TO 
 
 A FINE WOMAN 
 
 WITH 
 
 A MUSICAL VOICE: 
 
 (who was generally veiled.) 
 
 VV hen Celia, confcious of her charms, 
 Each feature of its power difarms,, 
 And kindly veils thofe brilliant eyes, 
 Where love himfelf infidious lies ; 
 We think ourfelves from danger free s 
 And all thofe other beauties fee, 
 Which Celia's charming perfon grace, 
 Secure, when fhe conceals her face.. 
 
 But ah ! ye thoughtlefs fwainsj beware^ 
 Nor rafnly thus approach the fair I 
 
 For 
 
ON A FINE WOMAN, &C. 257 
 
 For when fhe fpeaks, her voice, you'll 
 
 prove, 
 Can fire the coldeft heart with love : 
 I feel its force, and burn with more 
 Than vouthful ardor at three-fcore. 
 
C 258 ] 
 
 TO 
 
 MISS CHARLOTTE , 
 
 (On a Propofal for fending her to Bengal.) 
 
 1 o India then, pack'd up for fale, 
 JMuft Charlotte, like a commoti bale 
 Of goods be fent ? Forbid it, heaven ! 
 Was it for this that form was given ? 
 Thofe blooming cheeks, thofe trefles fair : 
 That, fweetly blufliing, modeft air ? 
 Thofe native charms, by art improv'd 9 
 Which no one ever faw, but lov'd ! 
 Shall all thofe little loves and graces, 
 Be facrific'd to the embraces- 
 Of fome proud tyrant ; whofe vile pelf, 
 To pur chafe lux'ries for himfelf, 
 From hamileis Gentoos was extorted ? 
 Shall fucn fierce plunderers then be courted 
 
 Bv 
 
TO MISS CHARLOTTE — . 2^9 
 
 By youth and beauty ? Whofe foft breaft 
 With'anguifh bleeds for the diftrefi; 
 Who ne'er could read, but tears would flow., 
 Imaginary tales of woe ? 
 
 No ; let th' Oriental lover, 
 Some gallantry at lead difcover : 
 Let him to Britains coaft repair, 
 And pay due homage to the fair. 
 With fuppliant vows our nymph addrefs, 
 And woman's fov'reignty coaiefs ! 
 Let Nabobs or let Sultans come, 
 Ereft, with princely itate, the dome 
 With fplendid robes and gems adorn 
 The maid whofe charms outmine the morn: 
 They'd then difplay an honefl pride, 
 And Charlotte be an envied bride. 
 
L 2 6o J 
 
 THE HON. MRS. HILL. 
 
 fo grace our ifle, from fair Ierne's more, 
 Proud of its charge, th' exultins vefTel bore 
 The fair Miranda ; who, where nymphs are 
 
 {een 
 In brilliant ' chillers, mines " th* apparent 
 
 queen.' '* 
 Nor could, of old, the Cretan ifle e'er boaft 
 A richer cargo from the Tyrian coafl ; 
 Tho' Jove Jiimfelf, enamour'd of the maid, 
 The chaile Europa thence by Health convey 'do 
 
 * Milton^ P. L. b. iv. 
 
 Tho* 
 
TO THE HON. MRS. H-LL. 261 
 
 Tho' in full bloom, at gentle Love's com- 
 mand, 
 
 To one bleft youth Miranda gave her hand, 
 
 Who now with right exclufiVe claims her 
 heart, 
 
 Yet hopes, to gazing crowds, her fmiles im- 
 part. 
 
 That love which empty pride can ne'er pro- 
 cure, 
 
 Her unafluming merit muft fecure. 
 
 PofTefs'd of all that makes weak woman vain, 
 
 She's humble as the nymph that roves the 
 plain ; 
 
 Unconfcious of her pow'r, fhe charms all 
 eyes : 
 
 But the rafh youth who dares approach her, 
 dies. 
 
 Bow then with awe to Virtue's ftern decree ; 
 
 Admire, nay love; — but, ah! defpair, like me. 
 This humble verfe, fair maid, with fmiles 
 receive, 
 
 : Tis all I afk ; 'tis all that you can give; 
 
 S TO 
 
[' 2 ^ 2 3 
 
 TO MISS 
 
 The mojl delicate of her Sex ; but /educed by 
 Fajhion. 
 
 I never was a ftaunch philofopher, 
 Nor could my paffions ever glofs over : 
 Yet, at Difcretion's ftern command, 
 A ftrong temptation can withfland : 
 I can refill the blufhing peach, 
 Tho' melting ripe,, and in my reach: 
 The cherry's pulp and ruddy hue, 
 Without emotion I can view ; 
 The fwelling cluflers of the vine, 
 Tho' with reluftance, can refign. 
 
 Yet, ah ! I'm neither Hone nor wood, 
 But feel myfelf frail flefh and blood : 
 *Veil then that lovely neck, fair Maid ! 
 Too lovely, to be thus difplay'd ! 
 
 That 
 
TO MISS — ■ — -. 263 
 
 That bed of lilies, ting'd with rofes ! 
 Where Love himfelf in ftate repofes : 
 Be it from vulgar eyes withdrawn, 
 Conceal'd in triple folds of lawn ! 
 A fight, referv'd for him alone, 
 Who foon mall claim thee for his own * 
 Eager to rifle all thofe charms, 
 Secur'd by Hymen to his arms* 
 
 S 2. T# 
 
C 264 ] 
 
 to 
 
 MISS SUSANNA H-R N. 
 
 Due to thy merits, lovely Maid! 
 Let confcious pride thy talents aid ; 
 Nor blufh to fee thyfelf carefs'd, 
 While warbling from thy fnowy breaft, 
 Sweet Melody, who there refides, 
 Each melting note, each accent guides, 
 
 Mufick's congenial to thy name, 
 Thy long, hereditary claim ; 
 Whofe anceftors our annals grace, 
 All patrons of the tuneful race ; 
 Skilful themfelves to wake the lyre, 
 And make the lift'ning throng admire ; 
 Yet all their tuneful pow'rs we fee 
 United, lovely Maid ! in thee. 
 
 OS 
 
L * 6 J 
 
 ON A LATE DECREE FOR 
 
 THE EXCLUSION OF ARTITS 
 
 FROM 
 
 THE ROOMS AT BATH. 
 
 Ye lucklefs wights ! that grace the Mufes' 
 
 train, 
 Admir'd, applauded — but, alas ! in vain : 
 Unrivall'd adepts in the finer arts ! , 
 Conceal your talents, nor difplay your parts ! 
 In Mufick, or in Speaking, fhould you mine ; 
 Excel in Mara's or in Siddons' line ; 
 Come not to Bath — you'll find yourfelves 
 
 degraded, 
 As if in mops or matches you had traded. 
 
 s 3 An 
 
266 ON A LATE DECREE, &C. 
 
 An haberdafher ftruts befide a Peer, 
 
 While you are told — " you have no bufinefs 
 
 here." 
 Handel, indeed, and Garrick, erft intruded, 
 But now, alas ! they'd find themfelves ex- 
 
 eluded. 
 A fong in private you're allow'd to, fing — 
 To charm the public is a fervile thing. 
 Then let not thofe, by whom your perfon's 
 
 flighted, 
 By your celeftial ftrains be e'er delighted. 
 
 TO 
 
C ^7 3 
 
 TO DR. H-R-NGT-N, 
 
 On his Glee, li Rex, Lex, et Pontifex..' 1 
 
 Priest of the Mufes ! lo, the facred Nine 
 To you the LAWS of Harmony confign ; 
 Thofe Laws you execute with {kilful hand — - 
 The KING, the fov 'reign of the tuneful 
 
 band ; 
 Infpir'd by them, your magick pow'r con- 
 
 troul 
 Each rude, each tender paflion of the foul ; 
 Or love, or hope, or pity you excite; 
 Subdue the fierce, or make the coward fight ; 
 
 * Mufarum Sagerdos. ■ ■ ■■ Hor, 
 
 The 
 
S68 TO DR. H-R-NGT-N. 
 
 The tedious hours of folitude beguile, 
 Wake focial mirth, and bid the wretched 
 
 fmile. 
 Your praife let then each lovely minflrel 
 
 fln g> 
 Revere their _Prieft ? their Laws, and much- 
 lov'd King. 
 
 INSCRIP- 
 
C *69 3 
 
 INSCRIPTION 
 
 ON THE 
 
 FRIZE OF THE PUMP-ROOM AT 
 BATH. 
 
 'APIZTON MEN "TAfiP.* 
 
 ' Water is befl'" thusfung the bard of old; 
 
 That " Wine is beft" by modern bards we're 
 told: 
 
 For fure no mortal, layman or divine, 
 
 Would e'er drink water when he could have 
 wine. 
 But, if excefs your health have once im- 
 paired, 
 
 The Bard thought Wine perhaps might well 
 be fpar'd, 
 
 * The firft line of Pindar, who is fuppofed to allude to the 
 opinion of Thales, who held that Water was the firft prin- 
 ciple of all things. 
 
 And 
 
27O THE PUMP ROOM. 
 
 And " Water then is beft;" yet if you're 
 
 wife, 
 You*ll drink no water but what Bath fupplies* 
 Thefe healing draughts will mitigate your 
 
 pain, 
 And Water make you relifh Wine again ; 
 Of fober Reafon bring them to the tell; 
 You'll own at leaft Our Water is the bejl. 
 
 ON 
 
[ 2 7* ] 
 
 ON 
 
 CROMWELL'S PICTURE. 
 
 Sent at her Requejl, to Chnjlina Queen of 
 Sweden. 
 
 Bellipolens Virgo! Septem Regina trio- 
 nura, I 
 
 G'hriftina ! Arctoi lucida ftella poli ! 
 Cernis quas menirdura fub Caffide rugas : 
 
 Ulq fenex armis impiger era gero. 
 Invia fatorum dum per veftigia nitor ; 
 
 Exequor et populi fortia juifa marm ; 
 Aft tibi fubmittit front em revcrcntior Um- 
 bra: 
 Nee funt hi vultus Regibus ufq trucer. 
 
 * Suppofcd to be written by Milton, Cromwell's Latin 
 fecretary, though prjnted in Andrew Marvel's pofthurnous 
 -works. 
 
 N. B. Livy ufes Rex for a King or Queen, indifcrimi- 
 nately. 
 
 ATTEMPTED 
 
2j2 on Cromwell's picture. 
 
 ATTEMPTED IN ENGLISH. 
 
 Queen of the North ! ■ whofe foul, though 
 
 form'd for war, 
 By wit refin'd, outfhines the polar ftar; 
 Behold a face, grown wrinkled thus with age; 
 Beneath the helmet's weight and battle's rage. 
 Undaunted whilft I brave the ftorms of fate ; 
 The People's injur'd rights to vindicate : 
 To you an humbler front this portrait brings, 
 Nor do thefe features oUimys frown on kings. 
 
[ 2 73 3 
 
 TI1E 
 
 SPIRITED FAIR ONE. 
 
 A SONG. 
 I. 
 
 Oh ! let me feek the dark recefs 
 Of fome fequefter'd grove ; 
 
 There ruminate on my diftrefs, 
 My ill-requited love. 
 
 if. 
 
 How could I hope he'd conftant be, 
 Or truft the tale he told ? 
 
 Who, while he fondly gaz'd Oh me/ 
 Yet figh'd for naught but gold. 
 
 in. Some 
 
274 THE SPIRITED FAIR ONE, 
 
 III. 
 
 Some richer maid he has in view. 
 Or nymph of high degree ; 
 
 But never will he find fo true. 
 So fond a nymph as me. 
 
 IV. 
 
 With rapture oft' he prais'd my fongs 5 
 And call'd me " charming maid ;'* 
 
 I liften'd to his flatt'ring tongue — 
 I lov'd — and was betray'd. 
 
 v. 
 
 But ah ! by fad experience taught, 
 
 My paflion 1*11 controul ; 
 Nor ever more, will wafte a thought. 
 
 On Damon's fordid foul. 
 
 A SONG* 
 
[ • *75 ■ ] 
 
 A SONG. 
 
 Ah ! tell me not of battle's won, 
 
 Or trophies of the field : 
 What joy to me, while Strephon's gone, 
 - Can ihouts of triumph yield ? 
 
 ii. 
 Ah! talk not of the gallant deeds, 
 
 Of Britons on the fea ; 
 When now perhaps my lover bleeds ; 
 
 For ever loft to me ! 
 
 in. 
 I tremble at thefe fcenes of woe ; 
 
 Tho' Victories refound ; 
 When ev'ry fhaft death's engines throw, 
 
 My Strephon's breaft may wound. 
 
 iv. Oh? 
 
QJ& 
 
 A SONG- 
 
 IV. 
 
 Oh ! let me hear my Hero's voice* 
 Secure from war's alarms ; 
 
 Then for our triumphs I'll rejoice, 
 When fafe in Strephon's arms. 
 
 THE 
 
[ V7 ] 
 
 THE AVIARY ; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE MERRY CAPTIVES, 
 
 TO MRS. P NE. 
 
 " The Rights of Man," tho' Women now 
 
 demand, 
 And Liberty^ re-echo ? d thro' the land ; 
 Tho' flight reftraints are defpotifm efteem'd. 
 And favages alone are fages deem'd ; 
 Yet furely, to fubmit to equal laws, 
 Can hardly injure facred freedom's caufe: 
 Nay, thofe alone true happinefs can find, 
 Who to wife laws their freedom have re- 
 
 fign'd. 
 
 T TW 
 
278 THE AVIARY I 0%, 
 
 Tho' nature o'er this fertile valley reigns, 
 And birds on ev'ry fpray pour forth theif 
 
 ft rains ; 
 Inclos'd in this reticulated cell, 
 A joyous choir of feather 'd fongfters dwell, 
 The wood-lark, linnet, nightingale and thrufh, 
 Who wont, at large, to chaunt on ev'ry bum ; 
 Yet here, to narrower limits tho' confin'd, 
 (With luxuries fupply'd of ev'ry kind,) 
 Within the bounds prefcrib'd, they freely 
 
 rove, 
 And tune their throats as in their native 
 
 grove. 
 Here birds of rank their converfation fliare, 
 Nor dread the cat's rude grafp, or fowler's 
 
 fnare : 
 In focial joys they pafs their blifsful hours, 
 Yet all have feparate cells or fecret bow'rs : 
 There weave their moffy hefts — and boldly 
 
 there 
 Prom fchool-boys fafe, their callow offspring 
 
 rear : 
 
 Here 
 
THE MERRY CAPTIVES. 2?$ 
 
 Here mimic ftreams from porcelain.vafes 
 flow ; 
 While, round the lattice, pinks and rofes 
 
 blow : 
 Thus duly fed, without their toil, they live*' 
 Secure of all the bleflings life can give. 
 
 Prote&ed thus, a tax indeed they pay, 
 But tis an eafy tax, you'll furely fay, 
 If tax we needs muft call, a trifling fong, 
 Which they difcharge, with- pleafure, all day 
 
 long; 
 At night, fweet Philomel, here fafe from 
 
 norms, 
 With thrilling notes the pleafing tafk per- 
 forms, 
 With gratitude, each does the beft he can 
 To entertain his bounteous fov'reicm Man. 
 Thus, in their injulated ftate content, 
 No want of liberty thefe birds lament. 
 
 Yet, with feign'd pity for their fad condi- 
 tion, 
 (By hunger prompted, or by fell ambition,) 
 T 2 Perch'd 
 
280 THE AVIARY ; OR, 
 
 Perch'd on an oak, a patriotic kite, 
 Bids them their feveral flender powers unite ; 
 " Rife in a ?nafs" their energies employ, 
 Their fiavifh fetters, inftantly defrroy ; - 
 AfTert their native rights ; and mould refin- 
 ance 
 Be found too ftrong, he promifes afliftance. 
 With claws and beak to burft their flimfy 
 
 cords, 
 And vengeance wreak on their tyrannic lords. 
 " What ! mall the groveling reptile man, 
 they dare 
 " Enflave the wing'd inhabitants of air? 
 '.' Refufe the common-wealth of birds their 
 
 due? 
 " Angels are drawn with wings to look like 
 
 you." 
 The eagle, veiled with a conful's power, 
 Th' indignity furvevs from yonder tower : 
 ii Roufe ! then, my fellow-citizens, I fay ; 
 " Aflert your natural rights and tour away!" 
 
 But 
 
THE MERRY CAPTIVES, 281 
 
 But now the kite an injur'd farmer faw; 
 Whofe poultry oft' had cramm'd his rav% 
 
 nous maw, 
 Levell'd his gun— and took his aim fo well ; 
 Dead at his feet the vaunting hero fell. 
 
 t 3 FEMALE 
 
L 282 ] 
 
 FEMALE ATTRACTION'S. 
 
 When Fafhion thus o'er genuine Tafte pre- 
 vails ,. 
 And Beauty in her ftrongeft fort affails ; 
 When tempted by an injudicious pride 
 To lay the foftnefs of their fex afide, 
 
 If S r, clad in majcuhne attire, 
 
 Could frozen age with tender thoughts in- 
 
 fpire ; 
 Who, without tranfport, can behold that face, 
 When femaliz'd by -gauze and Bruffels lace : 
 Adorn'd with all which the Cofmetic art, 
 Has e'er devis'd to captivate the heart : 
 Her charms thus deck'd muff ftill more bril- 
 liant fhine ; 
 Before a mortal me is now divine !. 
 
 Stoics 
 
FEMALE ATTRACTIONS. 283 
 
 Stoics themfelves, whofe hearts are cas'd with 
 
 fteel, 
 'Spite of their fyftem muft foft pajjion feel : 
 Converts to truth, with pleafure mufl confefs, 
 Virtue's moil lovely in a female drefs. 
 
 THE 
 
[ *8 4 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 SENSITIVE PLANT. 
 
 TO MISS FANNY E- 
 
 While crowds of flaunting fluttering klTes, 
 Seduc'd by flattering looking-glaffes, 
 To fport a fancied handfome face, 
 Obtrufive haunt each publick place ; 
 Here ^ra6hfe their coquetifh arts, 
 Secure of winning worthlefs hearts ; 
 And, of their tranfient conquefts proud, 
 Are follow'd by a thoughtlefs crowd : 
 The lovely Fanny not lefs fair,, 
 Shrinks from the coxcomb's faucy ftare ; 
 Thus from the couch (unknown the caufe) 
 Th' half-animated plant withdraws : 
 
 Un- 
 
THE SENSITIVE PL ANT. 28 5 
 
 ' J -j 
 
 Unconfcious of her power to pleafe, 
 She unconcern'd their triumph fees ; 
 Yet thus retiring from their view, 
 Attracts the more difcerning few ; 
 Who, thro' this meek and humble fpirit, 
 Difcover her fuperior merit ; 
 Charm'd with her blufhes, nor content 
 With vain, unmeaning compliment, 
 Conceive a durable regard ; 
 Of modeft worth the juft reward ! 
 
 Thus Fanny fcorning childifh airs, 
 Secures a lover unawares : 
 While each defismino-, forward dame, 
 Infallibly defeats her aim; 
 For, who'd be anxious to obtain, 
 What every fop that will, may gam? 
 
 hi: 
 
[ 286 ] 
 
 BINE WITH THE DOCTOR * 
 
 Xo F — hf— d off, in friendly fort Invited,. 
 I thought fuch kindnefs was not- — to be 
 
 flighted ;. 
 I went at length, in one-horfe wMJky\ tofs'd. 
 And found, alas ! what pleafure I had loft. 
 Without i the fcene mull charm each man of 
 
 tafte ; 
 Within I the great eft epicure might feafL 
 
 Yet one's, but an imaginay\ good ; 
 The other, wholefome, plain, fubftantial: 
 
 food ; 
 
 * Somnus pomindianus in fella Cubital** 
 
 ■Jr Vehiculi genus* 
 
 % The •charming j>roff/c£L 
 
 Tq. 
 
DINE WITH THE DOCTOT. 287 
 
 The one's whip-fillybub, or currant jelly ; 
 The other, ham and fowls, will fill your 
 
 belly. 
 On one alone to feed, you would be loth ; 
 Dine with the Doftor then, you'll have them 
 
 both. 
 
 W-DC-MB, 
 
s88 J 
 
 W-DC-MB-HOUSE. 
 
 TO MRS. H-DG-S. 
 
 WiIAT fccret charm, my friend, pervades, 
 And gilds your W — dc — b's peaceful (hades; 
 Why does my heart with joy expand, 
 When you prefent your friendly hand ? 
 
 Is it the garden's vernal pride, 
 Where rofes bloom on every fide ? 
 Is it the mufic of the birds ; 
 Or on your lawn the grazing herds ? 
 Where, gulhiiig 'midft the laurels green, 
 The Naiseds animate the fcene : 
 The gothic turret" — waving woods, 
 Refle&ed from the chryfial floods ? 
 
 * W-r-dc — b- tower* 
 
 The 
 
W— DC — MB -HO USE. 2% 
 
 The abbey, view'd where'er we rove, 
 In fweet perfpetfive thro' the grove : 
 Or penfive on the ruftic feat, 
 Beneath yon group of elms, retreat. 
 
 Why then with you are we fo blefl ? 
 Afk your own hofpitable bread. 
 The cordial welcome, grac'd with finiles, 
 Our raptur'd fancy here beguiles; 
 While eafe and harmony* unite 
 Each anxious thought is put to flight; 
 We feel beneath your friendly dome, 
 More happy than — we are at home. 
 And this, P trail, you will confent, 
 from r/idVi" no vulgar compliment. 
 
 *■ In which (he excels. 
 
 1 Who feldois dine abroad. 
 
 ARE. 
 
[ 2 9° ] 
 
 * 
 
 A REMARKABLE PHENOMENON". 
 
 On feeing the Duchefs of D e's Chik 
 
 dren i on Claverton Down, r 
 
 IMPROMPTU. 
 
 Is it then true ! that I have feen 
 
 Thefe Miniatures of Beauty's Oueen ? 
 
 Thefe fifters of the God of Love ? 
 
 ©r rather cherubs from above ? 
 
 The offspring of a beauteous mother ; 
 
 And only equall'd by each other. 
 
 I ! that have feen their Lords' and Graces ; 
 
 Their grand-fire, and their grand-dame's 
 
 faces ; 
 I, that have din'd, (pray no offence fir,) 
 With the fair Dowager, Lady Spencer ; 
 
 E'er 
 
A REMARKABLE PHENOMENON. 291 
 
 E'er yet fhe had learri'd to roll her eyes,* 
 And made her worthy Lord her prize. 
 Have feen their grand-fire at my houfe,f 
 Where ftill I dwell, a country-moufe : 
 Nay, who have din'd, and fmok'd a pipe ; 
 Eat pines and peaches melting ripe, 
 With their great grandfather at Chatfworth:J 
 A place worth more than my befl hat's worth, 
 Tho' fill'd with cafh of pureft gold ; 
 Ten thoufand guineas ten-times told. 
 
 A fig then for your Pytian Sage㤠
 Who only liv'd to the third age ; 
 When I already have feen four, 
 And may, pleafe heav'n, fee yet one more ; 
 When time-thefe infant beauties arms, 
 With fomething like their mother's charms ; 
 
 * Before fhe was In her teens, 1746. 
 
 t From Prior Park. 
 
 % On a publick day, 1743, on m Y Scrupling to take a 
 pipe, his Grace obferved, They were good times, when the 
 Clergy fmofccd tobaceo, 
 
 § Neitor. 
 
 To 
 
S?02 A REMARKABLE PHENOMENON, 
 
 To form another generation — * 
 Tho' longer life has fmall temptation, 
 When age but languidly enjoys 
 The faireft of life's gilded toys : 
 And when can 1 fee better days ? 
 More charms than C-v-ndifh difplays ? 
 But, to whatever heav'n thinks fit, 
 "Tis man's, with patience, to fubmit : 
 And may each day, while life mail laif, 
 Correcl the follies of the paft ! 
 
 This is now come to pafsj iSor. 
 
 MAR* 
 
C - 2 93 3 
 
 MARTIAL, E P . 74. B. x, 
 
 IMITATED. 
 
 il Jam parce, Roma, gratualatorx 
 " Laflb, &c. 
 
 Spare me! my lord, 1 beg you will; 
 Of Levees I have had my fill : 
 Too old ; I've nothing now to afk ; 
 Pray fpare me then the painful tafk 
 Of waiting 'midft your lac'd attendants, 
 And crowds of ravenous dependants,* 
 Who, anxious to obey your call, 
 Stan&Jhivering in your marble hall, 
 For, Tpite of your fuperb brazier, 
 'Tis plaguy cold this time of th' year.f 
 
 ♦ Ante ambulones & togatulos. 
 
 i Centum plumbeos. Sort of leaden Tickets, 
 
 U . Y* 
 
294 MARTIAL IMITATED. 
 
 Yet after all, might I, Sir, mention 
 What I have gain'd by my attention : 
 I've toil'd for lead,* like Cornilh miners, 
 While Aftley hoards his facks of miners. 
 
 My trifling works want no reward, 
 Nor do they merit your regard. 
 J wifh not to procure monopolies 
 Of Livings near our grand Metropolis : 
 Tho' promifes are not realities, 
 I want no Praebends or Pluralities ; 
 Nor to look down, with proud delight, 
 Prom royal Windfor's envied height. 
 " What then, good fir, is your requeft?"f 
 Tojleep, my lord, and be at reft. 
 
 * Ferventls Auri fuccos. 
 
 4 Quid concuj>ifcam> ^uarisergo; Dormlrei 
 
 PAS- 
 
L 2 9S ] 
 
 PASTORAL ADVICE 
 
 OP 
 
 A COUNTRY DIVINE, 
 
 TO THE 
 
 GRANDEES OF HIS FLOCK. 
 
 Sermoni propiora. HokV 
 
 While cold referve, or fhy, unfriendly 
 
 mien, 
 Amidft the neareft neighbours here is feen ; 
 Where equal worth and wealth and fenfe a- 
 
 bound, 
 Why is not peace among thefe bleffings 
 
 found ? 
 Or why to me, a puny wight ! alone, 
 Is this unmerited attention mown ? 
 
 V 2 * Whe-» 
 
Zg6 PASTORAL ADVICE. 
 
 Whether to P — g — t's laureate fhades I go, 
 Who ftill prefer domeftic blifs to mow ; 
 Or thro 5 primaeval oaks, whofe branches 
 
 meet, 
 I'm led to Kn-b-l's hofpitable feat ; 
 Or pleas'd, to J-11-ff's fumptuous dome af- 
 
 cend ; 
 In each I'm treated as a welcome friend ; 
 In each, 'midil wealth and fplendor, void of 
 
 pride, 
 Good-will and hofpitality refide» 
 Why then mould fruitlefs enmity remain ? 
 Where each would laugh his injuries to ex- 
 plain. 
 Oh ! had I powers ! with what fine ere de- 
 light, 
 Would I each worthy family unite ! 
 Teach them what p^afure the moll frugal 
 
 board 
 Mull, when with mutual kindnefs deck'd, 
 afford ! 
 
 But, 
 
PASTORAL ADVICE. 297 
 
 But, ah! while " trifles light as air" pro- 
 long 
 
 Each vague fufpicion and each fancied wrong ; 
 
 Time Heals away— ^-and foon approaching age, 
 
 And gloomy cares will every thought engage; 
 
 Nay, Death, perhaps unfeen, e'en now, alas! 
 
 Lurks in the favory <hfh or focial glafs. 
 Seek then, my friends, each hoftile thought 
 fuppreft, 
 
 That heartfelt blifs, within your peaceful 
 breaft, 
 
 Which, while in fruitlefs enmity you live, 
 
 Nor fplendid domes — nor wealth nor health 
 can give : 
 
 Be peace reftor'd then, difcord at an end ; 
 
 Be each to each, and — to kitnfelfa. friend. 
 
 v 3 
 
 THfc 
 
[ *9» 3 
 
 THE 
 
 INNOCENCE OF INFANCY.* 
 
 f Of fuch is the kingdom of heaven.'* 
 
 By ancient Bards, thro 5 ages pall foretold, 
 Their Great Meffiah now the Jews behold ; 
 From Jordan's ftreams, the Saviour of man^ 
 
 kind, 
 Went up + to heal the dumb, the deaf, the 
 
 blind : 
 Amaz'd, they faw, at his all-powerful word, 
 The lick to health, the dead to life reftor'd. 
 
 * Though the following ; 'n s were • ritten for a particular 
 purpofe, the Aut! or hopes, that if he has any Readers, they 
 may not be difpleafed with t e fubjecT:. 
 
 i After he had been baptifed there by John. ' 
 
 Th' 
 
THE INNOCENCE OF INFANCY. 2gg 
 
 Th' unbiafs'd multitude with rapture own, 
 Such miracles could come from God alone; 
 For never works like thefe were feen before : 
 And now, his healing virtue to implore, 
 The regions round his power divine confefs, 
 And bring their children to his arms to blefs. 
 But lo! with jealous eyes his followers 
 view, 
 And from his prefence thruft the fuppliant 
 
 crew : 
 As th' unfee'd fervants, who attend the great 3 
 With haughtinefs their humble fuitors treat. 
 For, yet unlighten'd, they with projects vain, 
 In worldly fplendor hop'd with him to reign. 
 
 But with divine benignity, our Lord 
 Their infolence and felfifh views abhorr'd ; 
 " Was much difpleas'd," and iflued his com- 
 mands, 
 To bring the meaneft infants to his hands ; 
 *'. To fuch (He faid) the privilege is given, 
 " To form the bleft fociety of heaven." 
 
 And 
 
gOO THE INNOCENCE OF INFANCY. 
 
 And none but Juck in innocence and love, 
 Shall join the angels in the realms above. 
 Tho' " wife as ferpents," it will naught 
 
 avail, 
 If in the " harmleffnefs of doves" you fail. 
 Eternal blifs, ye wife and learned know ! 
 On babe-like fouk alone will God bellow 
 
 Mark it. 13. 
 
 IN 
 
[ 20* 1 
 
 IN MEMORY OF 
 
 WILLIAM L-NG, ESQ. 
 OF STRETTON, SOMERSETSHIRE. 
 
 By whofe death at Fourteen, the Family, in 
 the Male Line became extintl. 
 
 His dawning years with native talents t>left. 
 To raife fweet tranfports in his parent's 
 breaft ; 
 
 The polifh'd youth they faw, with rapturd. 
 
 eyes, 
 Like this fair emblematic column* rife'; 
 
 * The device on the' tomb, a marble column, broken off 
 in the middle. 
 
 Adorn 'd 
 
£02 IN MEMORY 01 WM. L-NC, E3g» 
 
 Adorn *d with every virtue that might grace, 
 And well fupport the honours of his race. 
 But ah! how foon the flattering vifion/s 
 
 flown, 
 £*er yet to manhood's height the youth was 
 
 grown, 
 While now the pleahng profpe& they en- 
 
 joy'd, 
 By Death's fell iiroke the fabric was de- 
 
 ftroy'd. 
 Thus cropp'd, this Lilly withered in its 
 
 bloom ; 
 Xlieir name, their hopes, extinguim'd in the 
 
 Tomb. 
 
 A MONU 
 
[ 3°3 3 
 
 A MONUMENTAL INSCRIPTION, 
 
 intended for a refpeclable Family in tlie 
 Vicinity of Bri/ioL 
 
 Unknown to fame, an happier lot they 
 
 knew ; 
 Belov'd and reverenc'd by the virtuous few; 
 Domeftic blifs their wifh's utmoft bound, 
 Where alj the genuine fweets of life ar^ 
 
 found : 
 Amidft their offspring, bleft with mutual love. 
 They liv'd in hopes of perfecl blifs above: 
 There all the good and pious fouls fhall meet. 
 Their forrows ended, and their joys complete. 
 You ! whothefe lines peiufe with critic eye, 
 By their's correft your lives— and learn to die, 
 
 RESIG- 
 
[ 3°4 1 
 
 RESIGNATION. 
 
 Now, deck'd in all the pride of May, 
 Behold the vernal hours advance ! . 
 
 While hand in hand, in circles gay, 
 
 The frmling Loves and Graces dance. 
 
 The fprightly fwains and virgins blooming, 
 With joy falute th' approaching fpring; 
 
 While opening flow'rs the air perfuming, 
 The birds their warbling carols fing. 
 
 in, 
 But ah ! in vain the opening flowers, 
 Now breathe my fpirits to reflore : 
 Since, with my youth, my happier hours 
 Are vaniuVd to return no more, 
 
 iv. No. 
 
RESIGNATION* 305 
 
 IV. 
 
 No more for me the rofes bloom, 
 
 Larks foaring pour their matin fong, 
 
 Or Tuberon fheds its rich perfume, 
 Or Nightingales their notes prolong, 
 
 V: 
 
 Ah ! where are now thofe fleeting joys. 
 
 Which fancy painted in my mind ? 
 All faded, like the varnim'd toys, 
 
 Which, with my childhood I refign'd. 
 
 VI. 
 
 By cold neglecl or death of friends, 
 With fpleen or forrow thus oppreft, 
 
 A iwarm of foes that age attends, 
 Now reign defpotic in my breafL 
 
 Vir. 
 E'en Laura's fmiles, that wont to charm me, 
 
 Now fainter joys, alas! fupply, 
 Than do the fun's mild rays that warm me, 
 When gleaming from the azure Iky. 
 
 VIM. To 
 
306 RESIGNATION. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 To youth I freely then refign 
 
 Thofe pleafures which no longer pleafe ; 
 While confcience clear and health are mine, 
 
 Oh ! let me live content with eaje. 
 
 FINIS. 
 

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