LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
 i;^;*ji....:2— Siipjnj" 
 
 UNITED STATES OF- AMERICA. 
 
^ 
 
'i\ 
 
 THE 
 
 MOTHER AT HOME; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE PRINCIPLES OF MATERNAL DUTY 
 FAMILIAE.LY ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 / 
 
 BY JOHN S. C. ABBOTT, 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 "the child at home," "JOSEPHINE," " MAKIA ANTOINETTE," 
 "kings and QUEENS," "NAPOLEON," ETC. 
 
 VERY GREATLY IMPROVED AND ENLARGED. 
 
 N 
 
 E w Y R Kr;- ,.l ^.'^^:..,'<^^x/ 
 
 HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS, 
 
 329 & 331 PEARL STREET, 
 FRANKLIN SQUAKB. 
 
 18 73. 
 6N 
 
 V] 
 
u^-^ 
 
 'A^ 
 
 Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by 
 
 HARPER & BROTHERS, 
 In the Clerk's Office for the Southern District of New York. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The Mother at Home, and its companion and 
 counterpart, the Child at Home, were written sim- 
 ply with the view of affording to mothers in the 
 common walks of life, plain and simple instruction 
 in respect to the right discharge of their maternal 
 duties, and, at the same time, some practical aid in 
 leading the minds of their children to proper views 
 of their obligations to God, to their parents, and to 
 one another. Although one of the volumes is ad- 
 dressed nominally to the mother, and the other to 
 the child, they are in fact each intended for both 
 mothers and children. If a parent reads and ex- 
 plains the Mother at Home to her children, they 
 will derive great benefit from the exercise, as they 
 will thus be taught to realize something of the nature 
 and the weight of the responsibilities, the duties, 
 and the cares which such a trust as that which is 
 
VI PRE F ACE. 
 
 committed to a mother necessarily brings. They 
 will thus the more readily acquiesce in the measures 
 adopted for their good, and submit to the authority 
 which ought to be exercised over them ; and they 
 raaj be expected also to imbibe, in some degree, the 
 Christian spirit which the book inculcates. On the 
 other hand, the Child at Home is intended quite as 
 much to afford to mothers a practical exemplifica 
 tion of the spirit and manner by which their instruc 
 tions to their children should be characterized, as to 
 act directly upon the children themselves ; and its 
 effect even in this last point of view will be greatly 
 enhanced, if the mother, instead of giving her chil- 
 dren the book, should read it to them herself, or 
 allow them to read it aloud to her, chapter by chap- 
 ter, at some calm and silent hour, in the evening or 
 upon the Sabbath, when the hearts of the listeners 
 may be open to salutary impressions, and when the 
 instructions of the printed page may be accompanied 
 by the kind and familiar explanations of the living 
 teacher. 
 
 The volumes thus, though under different names, 
 aim at one and the same end, and are intended as 
 the counterparts and companions of each other. 
 
PREFACE. VU 
 
 They regard the family as one, — and in explaining 
 and enforcing the relative duties of parents and chil- 
 dren, they are intended to exert upon the tAvo 
 classes for which they are designed, a common and 
 simultaneous influence. 
 
 Since the original publication of these works, 
 they have been translated mto many different lan- 
 guages, and have been circulated very extensively 
 throughout the Christian world. The favor with 
 which they have thus been regarded has led to the 
 republication of them at this time in a new and 
 greatly improved form. The works have been care- 
 fully revised, and much enlarged, and the various 
 scenes and incidents described in them are illustrated 
 with numerous engravings, which, it is hoped, will 
 aid in making them attractive both to parents and 
 children. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAOB 
 
 I. — Responsibility, H 
 
 II. — Maternal Authority, . . .40 
 
 III. — Maternal Authority — continued, . Gl 
 
 IV. — The Mother's Difficulties, . . . 89 
 
 V. — Faults and Errors, . . . .112 
 
 VI. — Methods and Plans, 144 
 
 VII. — Religious Instruction, . . . .167 
 VIII. — Religious Instruction — continued, . .194 
 
 IX. — Fruits of Piety, 234 
 
 X. — Fruits of Piety — continued, . - 261 
 XL — Results, 
 
 290 
 
ENGRAVINGS. 
 
 -♦-•"♦- 
 
 The Hatchet, 
 
 The Sailor Boy, 
 
 The Unkulx" Boys, 
 
 The Buildeks, . 
 
 The Accident, 
 
 The Book, 
 
 The Riot, 
 
 The Supper, 
 
 Self-conceit, 
 
 Lawlessness, 
 
 Writing Journals, 
 
 The View, 
 
 My Little Chair, 
 
 Lamartine, 
 
 The Visit, . 
 
 The Pleasant Seat, 
 
 The Lame Man, . 
 
 Forgiveness, 
 
 The Reaction, 
 
 The Daughter, 
 
 11 
 
 27 
 
 49 
 
 56 
 
 77 
 
 81 
 
 98 
 
 109 
 
 117 
 
 124 
 
 150 
 
 184 
 
 187 
 
 19G 
 
 214 
 
 246 
 
 251 
 
 272 
 
 285 
 
 292 
 
THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 A FEW years ago, some gentlemen who were 
 associated together in a religious institution, in a 
 course of preparation for the christian ministry, 
 conceived the design of ascertaining what pro- 
 
12 THC MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 portion of their number were the children of 
 pious mothers. They were greatly surprised 
 and greatly pleased at finding that out of one 
 hundred and twenty students, over one hun- 
 dred had been borne by a mother's prayers, 
 and directed by a mother's counsels, to the 
 Savior. •Though some of these had in early 
 life broken away from the restraints of home, 
 and like the prodigal, had wandered deviously 
 for a time in paths of sin and sorrow, yet they 
 could not even in their wanderings forget the 
 impressions of childhood, and were eventually 
 brought to the Savior, in fulfillment of the prom- 
 ises made so frequently in the Scriptures, that 
 success shall sooner or later attend the efforts 
 of parental fidelity, faith, and prayer. Many 
 other striking examples might be adduced, in 
 addition to this, to show how intimate is the 
 connection between the christian character of 
 the mother and the salvation of the child. 
 
 The efforts which a mother makes for the im- 
 provement of her children in knowledge and 
 virtue, are necessarily retired and unobtrusive. 
 The world knows not of them ; and hence the 
 world has been slow to perceive how powerful 
 and extensive is this secret and silent influence. 
 But circumstances are now directing the eyes 
 of the community to the young, and the truth 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 13 
 
 is daily coming more distinctly into view, that 
 the influence which is exerted upon the mind 
 during the first eight or ten years of existence, 
 in a great degree guides the destinies of that 
 mind for time and eternity. And as the moth- 
 er is the guardian and guide of the early years 
 of life, from her emanates the most powerful in- 
 fluence which is exerted in the formation of 
 the character of man. And why should it not 
 be so ? What impressions can be more strong, 
 and more lasting, than those received upon the 
 mind in the freshness and the susceptibility of 
 youth ? What instructor can gain greater confi- 
 dence and respect than a mother ? And where 
 can there exist circumstances more favorable 
 for guiding human souls into the way of salva- 
 tion, than when the little flock cluster around 
 a mother's knee to hear of God and heaven ? 
 
 " A good boy generally makes a good man." 
 Said the mother of Washington, " George was 
 always a good boy." It was this always hav- 
 ing been a good boy in childhood, that consti- 
 tutes one great secret of the subsequent great- 
 ness of Washington. He had a mother who 
 made him a good boy, and instilled into his 
 heart those principles which raised him to be 
 the benefactor of his country, and one of the 
 brightest ornaments of the world. The mothar 
 
14 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 of Washington is entitled to a nation's grati- 
 tude. She taught her boy the principles of 
 obedience, and moral courage, and virtue. She, 
 in a great measure, formed the character of the 
 hero, and the statesman. It was by her own 
 fireside that she taught her boy in the playful 
 years of infancy, to govern himself; and it was 
 thus that he was prepared for the brilliant ca- 
 reer of usefulness which he afterward pursued. 
 We are indebted to God for the gift of Wash- 
 ington ; but we are no less indebted to him for 
 the gift of his inestimable mother. Had she 
 been a weak, and indulgent, and unfaithful pa- 
 rent, the unchecked energies of her son might 
 have elevated him to the throne of a tyrant ; or 
 youthful disobedience might have prepared the 
 way for a life of crime and a dishonored grave. 
 Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady 
 Washington ; and we see the character of the 
 mother in this case also, reflected in that of the 
 son. We can not wonder at the character and 
 conduct of Byron, for we see them to be the 
 almost necessary consequence of the education 
 which he received, and the scenes which he 
 witnessed in his mother's parlor. She would 
 at one time allow him to disobey with impuni- 
 ty ; at another she would fly into a rage and 
 beat him. She thus taught him to defy all au- 
 
REISPONSIBILITY. 15 
 
 thority, human and divine ; to indulge, without 
 restraint, in sin ; to give himself up to the pow- 
 er of every maddening passion. It was the 
 mother of Byron who laid the foundation of his 
 pre-eminence in guilt. She taught him to 
 plunge into that sea of profligacy and wretch- 
 edness, upon whose agitated waves he was 
 tossed for life. If the crimes of the poet de- 
 serve the execration of the world — the world 
 can not forget that it was the mother who fos- 
 tered in his youthful heart those passions which 
 made the son a curse to his fellow- men. 
 
 There are, it is true, innumerable causes in- 
 cessantly operating in the formation of charac- 
 ter. A mother's influence is by no means the 
 only influence which is exerted. Still it may 
 be the most powerful ; for, with God's ordinary 
 blessing, it may form in the youthful mind the 
 habits, and implant the principles, to which 
 other influences are to give permanency and 
 vigor. 
 
 A pious and faithful mother may have a dis- 
 solute child. Her son may break away from 
 all restraints, and God may leave him to " eat 
 the fruit of his own devices." The parent, 
 thus afflicted and broken-hearted, can only be w 
 before the sovereignty of her Maker, who sa3''s, 
 " be still, and know that I am God." The con- 
 
16 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 sciousness, however, of having done one's duty, 
 divests this affliction of n:iuch of its bitterness. 
 And beside, such cases are rare. Profligate 
 children are generally the offspring of parents 
 who have neglected the moral and religious ed- 
 ucation of their family. Some parents are 
 themselves profligate, and thus not only allow 
 their children to grow up unrestrained, but by 
 their example lure them to sin. But there are 
 others who are very upright, and virtuous, and 
 even pious themselves, who do, nevertheless, 
 neglect the moral culture of their children ; and 
 as a consequence, they grow up in disobedience 
 and sin. It matters but little what the cause is 
 which leads to this neglect. The neglect itself 
 will ordinarily be followed by disobedience and 
 self-will. 
 
 Hence the reason that children of eminent 
 men, both in church and state, are not unfre- 
 quently the disgrace of their parents. If the 
 mother is unaccustomed to govern her chil- 
 dren, if she look wholly to the father to enforce 
 obedience from them, and control them ; when 
 he is absent, all family government is absent, 
 and the children are left to run wild ; to learn 
 lessons of disobedience ; to practice arts of de- 
 ception ; to build, upon the foundation of con 
 tejnpt for a mother, a character of insubordina- 
 
IlESPONSIBILITY. 17 
 
 tion and iniquity. But if the children are 
 under the efficient government of a judicious 
 mother, the reverse of this is almost invariably 
 the case. And since, in nearly every instance, 
 the early years of life are intrusted to a 
 mother's care, it follows that maternal influ- 
 ence, more than any thing else, forms the future 
 character. 
 
 The history of John Newton is often addu- 
 ced as a proof of the deep and lasting impres- 
 sion which a mother may produce upon the 
 mind of her child. He had a pious mother. 
 She often retired with him to her closet, and 
 placing her hand upon his youthful head, implor- 
 ed God's blessing upon her boy. These prayers 
 and instructions sank deep into his heart. He 
 could not but revere that mother. He could 
 not but feel that there was a holiness in such a 
 character, demanding reverence and love. He 
 could not tear from his heart, in after-life, the 
 impressions then produced. Though he be- 
 came a wicked wanderer, though he forsook 
 friends and home, and every virtue, — yet the 
 remembrance of a mother's prayers, like a 
 guardian-angel, followed him wherever he went. 
 He mingled in the most dissipated and disgrace- 
 ful scenes of a sailor's life, and while surround- 
 ed with guilty associates, in midnight revelry, 
 
 B 
 
18 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 he would fancy he felt the soft hand of his 
 mother upon his head, pleading with God to 
 forgive and bless her boy. He went to the 
 coast of Africa, and became even more degrad- 
 ed than the savages upon her dreary shores. 
 But the soft hand of his mother was still upon 
 his head, and the fervent prayers of his mother 
 still thrilled in his heart. And this influence, 
 after the lapse of many guilty years, brought 
 back the prodigal, a penitent and a child of 
 God ; elevated him to be one of the brightest 
 ornaments of the Christian church, and enabled 
 him to guide many sons and daughters to glory. 
 What a forcible comment is this upon the power 
 of maternal influence ! And what encourage- 
 ment does this present to every mother to be 
 faithful in her efforts to train up her child for 
 God ! Had Mrs. Newton neglected her duty, 
 had she even been as remiss as rhany Christian 
 mothers are, her son, to all human view, might 
 have continued in sin, and been an outcast 
 from heaven. It was through the influence of 
 the mother that the son was saved. Newton 
 became afterward a mo§t successful preacher 
 of the gospel, and every soul that he was in- 
 strumental in saving, in singing the song of re- 
 deeming mercy, will, through eternity, bless 
 God that Newton had such a mother. 
 
RESrONSIBILITY. 19 
 
 The influence thus exerted upon the naind, 
 in early childhood, may, for nnany years, be ap- 
 parentl}'' lost. When a son leaves home, and 
 enters upon the busy world, many are the 
 temptations which come crowding upon him. 
 If when he thus withdraws from his mother's 
 personal watch and care, his heart has not been 
 fortified with established principles of religion 
 and of self-control, he will most assuredly fall 
 before these temptations. He may indeed fall, 
 even after all that a mother has done, or can 
 do ; and he may become deeply involved in 
 guilt. But even then, when he has apparently 
 forgotten every lesson that he learned at home, 
 the secret influence of a mother's instructions, 
 and a mother's prayers, may be yet working 
 powerfully and effectually in his heart. He 
 will think of a mother's tears, when remorse 
 keeps him awake at midnight, or when danger 
 threatens him with speedy arraignment at the 
 bar of God. The thoughts of the sacredness 
 of home will often throw J3itterness into his 
 cup of guilty pleasure, and compel him to sigh 
 for the virtue and the peace which he has for- 
 saken. ' Even though far away, in abodes of 
 infamy, degraded and abandoned, he must oc- 
 casionally think of a broken-hearted mother. 
 Thus may he, after many years, perhaps long 
 
20 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 after she has gone down to the grave, be led, 
 by the remembrance of her virtues, to forsake 
 his sins. 
 
 A short time since, a gentleman, in one of 
 our most populous cities, was going to attend a 
 seaman's meeting in the mariner's chapel. Di- 
 rectly opposite to the chapel there was a sailor's 
 boarding-house. In the doorway of this house 
 there was a hardy, weather-beaten sailor, sitting 
 with arms folded, and smoking a cigar, — watch- 
 ing the people as they gradually assembled for 
 the meeting. 
 
 The gentleman walked up to him and said, 
 *' Well, my friend, won't you go with us to 
 meeting ?" 
 
 " No !" said the sailor, bluntly. 
 
 The gentleman, w^ho, from the appearance 
 of the man, had been prepared for a repulse, 
 mildly replied, " You look, my friend, as though 
 you had seen hard days ; have you a mother ?" 
 The sailor raised his head, looked earnestly in 
 the gentleman's face, and made no reply. 
 
 The gentleman continued: "Suppose your 
 mother were here now, what advice do you 
 think that she would give you ?"• The tears 
 rushed into the eyes of the poor sailor ; he en- 
 deavored for a moment to conceal them? but 
 could not; and hastily brushing them away 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 21 
 
 with the back of his rough hand, rose and said 
 with a voice almost inarticulate through emo- 
 tion, "I'll go to the meeting." He crossed the 
 street, entered the door of the chapel, and took 
 his seat with the assembled congregation. 
 
 What afterward became of the man is not 
 known. It is however almost certain that he 
 must have had a mother who had given him 
 good instruction ; and when the gentleman ap- 
 pealed to her, hardened as the sailor was, his 
 heart melted. It is by no means improbable 
 that this interview may have checked this man 
 in his sins, and led him to Christ. At any 
 event, it shows the strength of maternal influ- 
 ence. It shows that years of wandering and 
 of sin can not erase from the heart the impres- 
 sion which a mother's instructions and a 
 mother's prayers have left there. 
 
 It is a great trial to have children undutiful 
 when young ; but it is a tenfold greater afflic- 
 tion to have a child grow up to maturity in dis- 
 obedience, and become a dissolute and aban- 
 doned man. How many parents have passed 
 days of sorrow and nights of sleeplessness in 
 consequence of the misconduct of their off- 
 spring ! How many have had their hearts 
 broken, and their gray hairs brought down with 
 sorrow to the grave, solely in consequence of 
 
22 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 their own neglect to train up their children in 
 the nurture and admonition of the Lord ! Your 
 future happiness is in the hands of your chil- 
 dren. They may be the means of filling all the 
 future years of your life with joy, and on the 
 other hand they may throw gloom over all your 
 prospects, embitter every enjoyment, and make 
 you so miserable, that your only prospect of re- 
 lief will be in death. 
 
 That little girl whom you now fondle upon 
 your knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, 
 upon your floor, has entered a world where 
 temptations are thick around. What is to en- 
 able her to resist these temptations, but estab- 
 lished principles of piety ? And where is she 
 to obtain these principles, but from a mother's 
 instructions and example ? If, through your 
 neglect now, she should hereafter yield herself 
 to temptation and sin, what must become of 
 your peace of mind ? O mother ! little are you 
 aware of the wretchedness with which your 
 loved daughter may hereafter overwhelm you ! 
 
 Many illustrations of the most affecting na- 
 ture might be here introduced. It would be 
 easy to appeal to a vast number of living suf- 
 ferers, in attestation of'the woe which the sin of 
 a child can occasion. You may go, not only in 
 imagination, but in reality, to the darkened 
 
RESrONSIBILITY. 23 
 
 chamber where the mother sits weeping, and 
 refusing to be comforted, for a daughter lost to 
 virtue and to heaven. Still, though we may 
 witness the scene, no one but those who have 
 experienced it can conceive how ovsrwhehn- 
 ing is the mental agony which must prey upon 
 a mother thus dishonored and broken-hearted. 
 This is a sorrow which can only be understood 
 by one who has tasted its bitterness and felt its 
 weight. We may go to the house of piety and 
 prayer, and find the father and mother with 
 countenances emaciated with suffering ; not a 
 smile plays upon their features, and the mourn- 
 ful accents of their voice tell how deeply seated 
 is their sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause 
 of this heart-rending grief? The mother would 
 only reply with tears and sobs. The father 
 would summon all his fortitude, and say, " my 
 daughter" — and say no more. The anguish 
 of his spirit would prevent the farther utter- 
 ance of his grief. 
 
 Is this exaggeration ? No ! Let your lovely 
 daughter, now your pride and joy, be abandoned 
 to infamy, be an outcast from society, and you 
 must feel what language can not express. 
 
 This is a dreadful subject ; but the danger is 
 one which the mother ought to feel and under- 
 stand. None are exempt from it. There are 
 
24 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 facts which might here be introduced, sufficient 
 to make every parent tremble. We might lead 
 you to the dwelling of the clergyman, and tell 
 you that a daughter's sin has carried the mother 
 to the grave, and sent paleness to the cheek, 
 and trembling to the frame, and agony to the 
 heart of the aged father. We might carry you 
 to the parlor of the rich man, and show" you all 
 the elegance and the opulence with which he is 
 surrounded ; and yet he would tell you that he 
 was one of the most unhappy of the sons of 
 affliction, and that he would gladly give all his 
 treasures if he could purchase back a daugh- 
 ter's virtue ; that he could gladly lie down to 
 die, if he could by so doing, even blot out the 
 remembrance of a daughter's infamy. 
 
 No matter what your situation in life may 
 be, that little child, now so innocent, whose 
 playful endearments and happy laugh awaken 
 such thrilling emotions in your heart, may cause 
 you years of most unalleviated misery. 
 
 And mother ! look at that drunken vagrant, 
 staggering by your door. Listen to his horrid 
 imprecations, as bloated and ragged he passes 
 along. That wretch has a mother. Perhaps, 
 widowed and in povert}^ she needs the comfort 
 and support of an affectionate son. You have 
 a son. You may soon be a widow. In that 
 
RESPONSIBILITY-. 25 
 
 case if your son is dissolute, you are doubly 
 widowed ; you are worse, infinitely worse than 
 childless. You can not now endure even the 
 thought that your son will ever be thus aban- 
 doned. How dreadful then must be the experi- 
 ence of the reality ! 
 
 1 once knew a mother who had an only son. 
 She loved him most ardently, and could not 
 bear to deny him any indulgence. He, of 
 course, soon learned to rule his mother. At 
 the death of his father, the poor woman was 
 left at the mercy of this vile boy. She had 
 neglected her duty when he was young, and 
 now his ungovernable passions had become too 
 strong for her control. Self-willed, turbulent, 
 and revengeful, he was his mother's bitterest 
 curse. His paroxysms of rage at times amount- 
 ed almost to madness. One day, infuriated 
 against his mother, he set fire to her house, and 
 it was burned to the ground, with all its con- 
 tents, and she was left in the extreme of pover- 
 ty. He was imprisoned as an incendiary, and, 
 in his cell, he became a maniac, if he was not 
 such before, and madly dug out his own eyes. 
 He now lies in perpetual darkness, confined by 
 the stone walls and grated bars of his dungeon, 
 an infuriated madman. 
 
 How hard it must be for a mother, after all 
 
26 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 her anxiety, and suffering, — her days of toil, and 
 her nights of watching and care, to find her son 
 a demoniac enemy, instead of a guardian and 
 friend ! You have watched over your child;, 
 through all the months of its helpless infancy. 
 You have denied yourself,, that you might give 
 it comfort. When it has been sick, you have 
 been unmindful of your own weariness, and 
 your own weakness, and the livelong night you 
 have watched at its cradle, administering to all 
 its wants. When it has smiled, you have felt 
 a joy which none but a parent can feel, and 
 have pressed your much loved treasure to your 
 bosom, praying that its future years of obedi- 
 ence and affection might be your ample reward. 
 And now, how dreadful a requital, for that 
 child to grow up to hate and abuse you ; to 
 'eave you friendless, in sickness and in pover- 
 ty ; to squander all his earnings in haunts of 
 iniquity and degradation. 
 
 There is, in many families, an impfession that 
 the boys must soon grow beyond a mother's 
 control or influence, and that, while it is ex- 
 pected that the girls should still be obedient to 
 their mother, the sons must, at a certain age, be 
 left to the control of the father. Thus insensi- 
 bly they imbibe the feeling that they are above 
 their mother's authority. The mother feels 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 27 
 
 that she has no power to govern them ; the 
 father is away, and the whole mind is engrossed 
 with other cares, and the boys are left uncon- 
 trolled. This is the influential cause of the ruin 
 of thousands of families. 
 
 Probably there 
 is not one who will 
 read this page, who 
 can not recall to 
 mind many illus- 
 trations of the truth 
 of this statement. 
 Here is a lost son 
 dying in the fore- 
 castle of a ship, far 
 away upon the 
 ocean. Why is he 
 there, far from his 
 own pleasant fire- 
 side and the love of home ? Because his moth- 
 er never established any control over her boy. 
 In his infancy she indulged him, under the in- 
 fluence of an overweening maternal fondness. 
 The injury might possibly have been retrieved 
 in the early years of boyhood, but the golden 
 opportunity was allowed to slip by. The boy, 
 as he grew in strength and energy, became reck- 
 less and uncontrollable, and after a long and 
 
 THE SAILOR-BOY. 
 
28 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 sorrowful experience of struggle, disappoint- 
 ment, and suffering, he was sent to sea, to perish 
 miserably in some noxious foreign clime. 
 
 Here is a mutilated corpse upon some blood- 
 stained field of battle. The form is that of a 
 graceful youth, whose fair cheek is hardly 
 browned by the southern sun. Why has this 
 young man been plunged into these awful scenes 
 of human butchery, and come to this untimely 
 and disgraceful death ? It is because his mother 
 did not control him when he was a child. 
 
 The idea is a totally erroneous one, that a 
 son, by nature, feels that there is an inferiority 
 in a woman, and that it is not manly to obey 
 his mother. The natural feeling is just the re- 
 verse, and a judicious mother can retain con- 
 trol over a son as long as he lives. The bond 
 will be changed it is true, when he becomes a 
 man, from that of authority to that of affection, 
 but it will endure to the end of life, and grow 
 stronger and stronger every year. 
 
 Indeed, a well-educated young man feels a 
 peculiar pride in being obedient to his mother. 
 There is a chivalrous feeling, a sense of honor 
 connected with such submission which is highly 
 pleasurable to every ingenuous mind. 
 
 No one can read the biography of Payson 
 without seeing the control which a mother's 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 29 
 
 mind exerted over him, throuGch all his collegi- 
 ate and theological course, and when all the 
 cares of his arduous profession were crowding 
 him. The same maternal supremacy which 
 protected his infancy, guided and curbed the 
 impetuosity of his childhood, the ardor of his 
 youth, and the energies of his manhood. For 
 the mother may be, in many things, always the 
 superior of her son, and be capable of being his 
 counselor and benefactor. 
 
 The memoirs of Wesley, who has, perhaps, 
 exerted as powerful an influence as any other 
 man upon the destinies of the world, are filled 
 with illustrations of this continued influence of 
 a mother's mind guiding her apostolical son in 
 all the conflicts of his laborious and glorious 
 career. 
 
 Read the letters of the mother of John Quin- 
 cy Adams, and you will be at no loss to account 
 for the invincible moral courage, the unvarying 
 principle, and the almost superhuman energy 
 which has shed such luster upon his life. Be- 
 fore her noble mind he was ever proud to bow 
 in homage. He was always, even in the most 
 exalted manhood, his mother's child, ever prompt 
 to do her bidding, and ever feeling himself hon- 
 ored in honoring her. 
 
 Even the Emperor Napoleon attributed the 
 
30 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 formation of his character, in a great measure, 
 to his mother's influence. And in speaking on 
 the subject generally, he remarked, that " the 
 man is what the mother makes him. France 
 wants mothers." 
 
 In fact, every young man wants to be proud 
 of his mother. He loves to feel under her con- 
 trol. He delights in having a mother who is 
 capable and worthy of guiding him. And she 
 who virtually abandons the government of her 
 boy just as he is entering upon the fiery temp- 
 tations of impetuous youth, inflicts upon him an 
 irreparable injury, and is an almpst unpardon- 
 able betrayer of her sacred trust. 
 
 From these and similar facts it is plain that 
 God has placed in the hands of parents an in- 
 fluence which is almost boundless. We are 
 very prone to underrate this power. You ob- 
 serve that your child has some fault which you 
 endeavor to remove. Persuasion, entreaty, 
 punishment — all perhaps fail, or secure only 
 partial success ; and you say, '"' How little in- 
 fluence have I, after all, over my child." But 
 you forget that there is an influence of conduct 
 and example as well as of precept, and that very 
 probably, by your own previous neglect or sin, 
 you may yourself have riveted the chain which 
 you now strive in vain to break by a word. 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 31 
 
 Besides the individual instances that have been 
 adduced, we can see the influence ot parents by 
 observing how national characteristics are pre- 
 served from generation to generation. The pop- 
 ulation of Turkey, of China, of New England, 
 and of everv savas-e island, will in one hundred 
 years be slumbering in the ground, and their 
 places will be filled by others, who will all be sub- 
 stantially alike when they enter the world. The 
 millions of infants who are to compose the next 
 Turkish generation will not, as infants, differ 
 from those who are to be our descendants in 
 this happy land, — or from the future throng 
 which will fill the Chinese empire, — or from the 
 babes which open their eyes in the wildest hut 
 or wigwam. And yet how certainly will every 
 one of these classes, as they come forward into 
 life, receive the traits of mind, and the charac- 
 teristics of their parents. How certainly will 
 the next generation in Turkey be substantially 
 like the last, and China in the twentieth century 
 be like China now, unless some extraneous 
 cause comes in to produce a change. The 
 [tower of parental influence is almost unbounded. 
 
 But besides the influence which mothers can 
 thus exert in securing the future welfare and 
 happiness of their children, their own enjoy- 
 ment, in their declining years, is almost wholly 
 
32 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 dependent upon the results of their dealings with 
 those thus dependent upon them. The influence 
 which you now exert upon your children will 
 react, after many years, with prodigious power 
 upon yourselves. It is natural that in early life 
 parents should have no conception of the ex- 
 tent to which their own peace and happiness 
 are ultimately to be placed in their children's 
 hands. See that infant : weakness and help- 
 lessness itself, it has scarcely strength to sustain 
 its own tottering footsteps, or courage to look 
 without agitation into a stranger's face ; depen- 
 dent for every want, and completely submissive 
 to every command, it can scarcely be said to 
 have a separate existence. It knows nothing — 
 it does nothing, but through parental permis- 
 sion ; and if there is throughout the world an 
 instance of complete, unlimited, absolute power 
 on the one hand, and most entire and helpless 
 submission on the other, it is to be found in the 
 empire which such a parent holds over such a 
 child. 
 
 We see very clearly in such a case how en- 
 tirely the happiness of the child is dependent 
 upon the mother, but it is hard to realize how 
 soon the state of the case will be reversed, and 
 the mother become equally dependent for all 
 her happiness upon the child. 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 33 
 
 Difficult as it is, however, to realize this, it is 
 nevertheless true. 
 
 The cliild advances with an irresistible pro- 
 gress up through the years of childhood and 
 youth ; and as it passes on from year to year, 
 the bonds of this dependence and helplessness 
 melt gradually away. You can not stop the 
 progress of years ; you can not check the ad- 
 vance to maturity ; the mind of your child will 
 expand beyond your grasp ; the powers of the 
 being, once so helpless, will rise slowly, but ir- 
 resistibly above your own control ; and he will, 
 ere you are aware, stand forth mature, inde- 
 pendent, and free, — to carry forward with an 
 impetus which you might once have guided, but 
 which now you can not stop, his course of hap- 
 piness or suffering ; to bring down upon your 
 own head the blessings or the curses which you 
 have taught him to procure. 
 
 It must be remembered, too, that the bonds 
 by which you are bound to your children, — 
 and through which any fidelity or unfaithfulness 
 which you may now exhibit will return with 
 tenfold power upon your own head in future 
 years, — you can never sunder. You can not, 
 should you ever desire to do it, banish affection 
 from your heart. You can not say, when here- 
 after he comes to a course of sin and suffering, 
 
 c 
 
34 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 I will leave him to his own chosen way, and be 
 myself indifferent about his joys and sorrows. 
 No ; the cord which binds you to him is too 
 strong. God has fastened it ; and the more his 
 wayward propensities may pull upon the knot, 
 the tighter it will be drawn. Even his death 
 will not sunder it. You will linger over his 
 grave, and busy memory will bring back to you 
 the long passed scenes through which you may 
 have accompanied him. The neglected duty 
 will come up again to view; the indulgence 
 which ought to have been denied will reproach ; 
 the recollections of unfaithfulness will sting ; 
 and, on the other hand, the severity of affliction 
 will be assuaged by the remembrance of all 
 your sincere and earnest efforts to do your 
 duty, and to prepare your departed child for 
 heaven. 
 
 You will be excited to fidelity in duty " by 
 looking forward frequently to your approaching 
 separation from your children." The ties 
 which bind you, however closely, to them, must 
 soon be sundered by death. You must, before 
 many years, see them deposited in the grave, or 
 you must bid them farewell, while they stand 
 weeping around your own dying bed. They 
 may be summoned first ; and you will find, as 
 every bereaved parent well knows, that mourn- 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 35 
 
 ing for their loss is the bitterest cup of sorrow 
 which you can diink. You may have wept for 
 other friends before ; you may have followed 
 your own beloved parents to the grave ; but, in 
 the emphatic language of an afflicted father, 
 you will find ''parental anguish more deep and 
 keen than filial." At such an hour you will 
 need consolation ; and nothing will have greater 
 power to assuage your sorrow, than the recol- 
 lections of your past fidelity, in training up your 
 child for heaven. 
 
 If these efforts have been made, and have 
 been attended by the ordinary blessing of God, 
 your child may give evidence at a very early 
 age of his affection for his Savior, and of his 
 preparation for another world. 
 
 But although you may survive your children, 
 they will probably survive you. You will have 
 to leave them in a world of temptation and 
 danger, with no sufficient protector, unless you 
 can have secured for them the protection of a 
 friend above. When your last hours are pass- 
 ing, and the world begins to recede from view, 
 its various ties will, one after another, be sur- 
 rendered, and broken : but, after all others are 
 gone, the bond which connects you with your 
 child will still cling. That link will be the last 
 to be severed ; so that when you are willing 
 
30 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 and desirous to leave every thing else that is 
 earthly, your heart will still linger about your 
 fireside, and affection for a beloved child will 
 make you cling to life. How happy will it be 
 for you at such a time, to feel that God will be 
 a parent to the orphans,^and that you separ- 
 ate from them only for a time. If your faith- 
 ful instructions have instilled the principles of 
 piety into their hearts, you can have this happi- 
 ness ; and you can with peaceful resignation 
 commit them to God's care, assured that he 
 will be their supporter in the temptations of 
 life, and their refuge in its storms. 
 
 Let these thoughts dwell with you to encour- 
 age and to strengthen you in your present 
 duties. While you are making strenuous and 
 faithful efforts to improve the character and 
 strengthen the moral and religious principles 
 of your child, be encouraged by the assurance, 
 that long after these struggles shall be over, 
 you will think of them and dwell upon them 
 with pleasure. On the other hand, remember, 
 that if you set it an example of sin, or act in 
 your management under the influence of in- 
 dolence or irritation, consulting present con- 
 venience, without attempting to follow any 
 fixed principles, — Oh, remember, that though 
 an act of unfaithfulness may be over in an 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 37 
 
 hour, its memory will last, and it will bile like 
 a serpent, and sting like an adder. 
 
 How entirely thus is your earthly happiness 
 at the disposal of your child ! His character 
 is now, in an important sense, in your hands, 
 and you are to form it for good or for evil. If 
 you are consistent in your government, and 
 faithful in the discharge of your duties, your 
 child will probably through life revere you, and 
 be the stay and solace of your declining years. 
 If, on the other hand, you can not summon 
 resolution to punish your child when disobe- 
 dient ; if you do not curb his passions ; if you 
 do not bring him to entire and willing subjec- 
 tion to your authority ; you must expect that 
 he will be your curse. In all probability, he 
 will despise you for your weakness. Unaccus- 
 tomed to restraints at home, he will break away 
 from all restraints, and make you wretched by 
 his life, and disgraceful in his death. 
 
 But few parents think of this as they ought. 
 They are not conscious of the momentous con- 
 sequences which depend upon the efficient and 
 decisive government of their children. Thou- 
 sands of parents now stand in our land like 
 oaks blighted and scathed by lightnings and 
 storms. Thousands have had every hope 
 wrecked, every prospect darkened, and have 
 
38 THE MOTHER AT HOxME. 
 
 become the victims of the most agonizing and 
 heart-rending disappointment, solely in conse- 
 quence of the misconduct of their children. 
 And yet thousands of others are going on in 
 the same way, preparing to experience the 
 same suffering, and are apparently unconscious 
 of their danger. 
 
 Snch are the responsibilities of mothers. 
 How few parents there are that fully realize 
 the weight and importance which they assume, 
 when we calmly consider them. 
 
 It is true that there are many mothers who 
 feel their responsibilities perhaps as deeply as. 
 it is best they should feel them. But there are 
 many others — even Christian mothers — who 
 seem to forget that their children will ever be 
 less under their control than they are while 
 young. And they are training them up, by in- 
 decision and indulgence, soon to tyrannize over 
 their parents with a rod of iron — and to pierce 
 their hearts with many sorrows. If you are 
 unfaithful to your child when he is young, he 
 will be unfaithful to you when he is old. If 
 you indulge him in all his foolish and unreason- 
 able wishes when he is a child, when he be- 
 comes a man he will indulge himself; he will 
 gratify every desire of his heart ; and your 
 sufFei^ings will be rendered the more poignant 
 
RESPONSIBILITY. 39 
 
 by the reflection that it was your own unfaith- 
 fulness which has caused your ruin. If then 
 you would be the happy mother of a happy 
 child, give your attention, and your efforts, and 
 your prayers, to the great duty of training him 
 up for God and heaven. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 
 In the preceding chapter I have endeavored 
 to show the mother how much her happiness is 
 dependent upon the good or bad character of 
 her children. Your own reflections and ob- 
 servations have, doubtless, impressed this sub- 
 ject most deeply upon your heart. The ques- 
 tion has probably often presented itself to your 
 mind, while reading the previous chapter, 
 "How shall I govern my children, so as to 
 secure their virtue and happiness ?" This 
 question I shall now endeavor to answer. 
 
 I. Obedience is absolutely essential to proper 
 family government. Without this, all other ef- 
 forts will be in vain. You may pray with, and 
 for your children ; you may strive to instruct 
 them in religious truth ; you may be unwearied 
 in your efforts to make them happy, and to gain 
 their affection ; but if they grow up in habits 
 of disobedience, your instructions will be lost, 
 and your toil will all be in vain. And by 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 41 
 
 obedience, I do not mean languid and dilatory 
 yielding to repeated threats, but prompt and 
 cheerful acquiescence in the parental will. 
 Neither is it enough that a child should yield to 
 your arguments and persuasions. It is essen- 
 tial that he should submit to your authority. 
 
 I will suppose a case in illustration of this 
 last remark. Your little daughter is sick ; you 
 go to her with the medicine which has been 
 prescribed for her, and the following dialogue 
 ensues. 
 
 *•' Here> my daughter, is some medicine for 
 you." 
 
 " I don't want to take it, mamma." 
 " Yes, my child, do take it, for it will make 
 you better." 
 
 " No, it will not, mother ; I don't want it." 
 " Yes, it will, my child ; the doctor says it 
 will." 
 
 " Well, it isn't good, and I don't want it." 
 The mother continues her persuasions, and 
 the child persists in its refusal. After a long 
 and wearisome conflict, the mother is compelled 
 either to throw the medicine away, or to re- 
 sort to compulsion, and force down the unpala- 
 table drug. Thus, instead of appealing at once 
 to her own supreme authority, she enters into 
 a long and useless controversy with the reason 
 
42 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 of the child, under circumstances in which the 
 child of course refuses to be convinced. 
 
 A mother, once, under similar circumstances, 
 not being able to persuade her child to take the 
 medicine, and not having sufficient resolution 
 to compel it to do so, threw the medicine away. 
 When the physician next called, she was 
 ashamed to acknowledge her want of power 
 over her child, and therefore did not tell him 
 that the medicine had not been taken. The 
 physician finding the patient worse, left another 
 prescription, supposing that the previous one 
 had been properly administered. But the child 
 could no more be convinced of the necessity 
 of taking the nauseous dose, in the second in- 
 stance than in the first, and all the efforts of the 
 mother were unavailing. Again the fond and 
 foohsh, but cruel parent, threw the medicine 
 away, and the fever was left to rage unchecked 
 in the patient's veins. Again the physician 
 called, and was surprised to find how ineffica- 
 cious his prescriptions were ; and to perceive 
 that the poor little suflferer was at the verge of 
 death. The mother, when informed that her 
 child must die, was in an agony, and confessed 
 what she had done. But it was too late. The 
 child died. And think you that mother gazed 
 upon its pale corpse with any common em.otions 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 43 
 
 of anguish ? Think you that the idea never 
 entered her mind that she was the destroyer of 
 her child ? Physicians will tell you that many 
 children have been thus lost. Unaccustomed 
 to obedience when well, they were still more 
 averse to it when sick. Then there is another 
 danger besides. The efforts which are made 
 to induce a stubborn child to take medicine, 
 often produce such an excitement as entirely to 
 counteract the effect of the prescription ; and 
 thus is a mother often called to weep over the 
 grave of her child, simply because she has not 
 taught that child to obey. 
 
 It is certainly the duty of parents sometimes 
 to explain to their children the reasonableness 
 and propriety of their requirements. This should 
 be done to instruct them, and to make them ac- 
 quainted with moral obligation. But there 
 should always be authority sufficient to enforce 
 prompt obedience, whether the child can see 
 the reason of the requirement or not. Indeed, 
 it is impossible to govern a child by mere ar- 
 gument. Many cases must occur, in which it 
 . will be incapable of seeing the reasonableness 
 of the command ; and often its wishes will be 
 so strongly opposed to duty,. that all the efforts 
 to convince its understanding will be in vain. 
 The first thing ther^.fore to be aimed at in the 
 
44 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 training of your child, is to bring him under 
 perfect subjection to your will. Teach him 
 that he must obey you. Sometimes give him 
 your reasons ; at other times withhold them. 
 But let him perfectly understand that whether 
 reasons are given or not, he is to do whatever 
 you require. Accustom him to immediate and 
 cheerful acquiescence in your will. This is 
 obedience. And this is absolutely essential to 
 good family government. Without this, your 
 family will present one continued scene of noise 
 and confusion ; the toil of rearing up your 
 children will be almost insupportable, and, in 
 all probability, your heart will be broken by 
 their future ingratitude, and perhaps open sin. 
 
 To illustrate more fully my meaning in the 
 remark, that it is not always best to give rea- 
 sons to children, let me suppose a case. A boy 
 comes to his mother for permission to go out 
 into the street to play during the evening. 
 
 " No, my child," says the mother, " I would 
 rather that you should not go. They are bad 
 boys, and you will learn bad habits. I think 
 you had better stay in." 
 
 " But, mother, I do not think they are bad 
 boys. William and John are there, and I don't 
 see why I can not go." 
 
 " They use bad language, and are rude. Be- 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 45 
 
 sides, it is cold, and I don't think it would be 
 pleasant for you to-night. I think you will be 
 much happier if you stay in with us." 
 
 " Why, mother, if they use bad language I 
 ^vill come away. They are going to have a 
 fine game, and I want to go very much." 
 
 Thus there is a protracted discussion which 
 probably ends in the victory of the boy. The 
 mother does not perceive that all her arguments 
 are entirely nullified by the boy's strong desire 
 for the indulgence. That completely intox- 
 icates him. It is perfectly idle, at such a time, 
 to attempt to convince him. He is blinded 
 completely ; and the only proper course is to 
 say mildly, but firmly, " No, my child, you 
 must not go." " Why not, mother ? I want 
 to go." "I can not tell you why not, now. I 
 will talk with you about it another time." Then 
 let the mother wait until her son has spent some 
 evening happily at home, and just before he re- 
 tires to rest, while his conscience is at peace, — 
 and his mind pre-disposed in favor of domestic 
 duty and happiness, — let her point out to him 
 the reason wh}^ she keeps him from the streets 
 and from the rude and noisy scenes of tempta- 
 tion and sin, that are presented there. 
 
 Let all similar requests for sinful or danger- 
 ous indulgences always be decided by authority, 
 
THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 and not by persuasion, unless, as was suggested 
 above, you may sometimes wish to leave your 
 child to decide for himself, that he may learn 
 wisdom from experience. This, however, 
 ought to be done very seldom, and with great 
 caution; or else you will find that while you 
 were endeavoring to disgust him with the evils 
 of sin, you will have been hardening his con- 
 science against its guilt. 
 
 II. We come now to the inquiry, how is the 
 habit of obedience to be established ? This is 
 not so difficult a matter as many imagine. It 
 does not require profound learning, or any mys- 
 terious skill pertaining but to the few. Where 
 do you find the best regulated families ? Are 
 they in the houses of the rich ? Do the chil- 
 dren of our most eminent men furnish the best 
 patterns for imitation ? Obviously not. In 
 some of the most humble dwelHngs we find the 
 beautiful spectacle of an orderly and well-reg- 
 ulated family. On the o'her hand, in the man- 
 sions of the wealthiest or most eminent men of 
 our country, we may often find a family of rude 
 girls and ungovernable boys, — a picture of wild 
 misrule. It is not greatness of talent, or pro- 
 found learning, which is requisite to teach a 
 child obedience. The principles by which we 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 47 
 
 are to be guided ore very simple and very 
 plain. 
 
 Never give a command which you do not 
 intend shall he obeyed. 
 
 There is no more effectual way of teaciiing a 
 child disobedience, than by giving commands 
 which you have no intention of enforcing. A 
 child is thus habituated to disregard its moth- 
 er ; and in a short time the habit becomes so 
 strong, and the child's contempt for the mother 
 so confirmed, that entreaties and threats are • 
 alike unheeded. 
 
 " Mary ! Mary ! you must not touch the 
 book," says a mother to her little daughter, who 
 is attempting to pull the Bible from the table. 
 
 Mary stops for a moment, and then takes 
 hold of the book again. 
 
 Pretty soon the- mother looks up and sees 
 that Mary is still playing with the Bible. " Did 
 not you hear me tell you that you must not 
 touch the book ?" she exclaims : " why don't 
 you obey ?" 
 
 JMary takes away her hand for a moment, but 
 is soon again at her forbidden amusement. By 
 and by, down falls the Bible upon the floor. 
 The mother rises in anger, and hastily gives the 
 child a passionate blow, exclaiming, " There ! 
 The next time obey me." The child falls upon 
 
48 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 the floor and fills the apartment with cries of 
 resentment and anger, while the mother re- 
 {)laces the fallen volume, wondering why it 
 is that her children do not obey her com- 
 mands. 
 
 This is not a very agreeable family scene, 
 but every one of my readers will admit that it 
 is not an uncommon one. And is it strange 
 that a child, thus managed, should be disobe- 
 dient ? No. She is actually led on by her 
 . mother to insubordination ; she is actually 
 taught to pay no heed to parental injunctions. 
 Even the improper punishment which some- 
 times follows transgression, is not inflicted on 
 account of the disobedience of the child, but for 
 the accidental consequences which result from 
 it. In the case above described, had the Bible 
 not fallen, the disobedience of the child would 
 have passed unpunished. 
 
 I was once, when riding in the country, over- 
 taken by a shower, and compelled to seek shel- 
 ter in a farmhouse. Half a dozen rude and 
 ungovernable boys were racing about the room, 
 in such an uproar as to prevent the possibility 
 of conversation with the father, who was sitting 
 by the fire. As I, however, endeavored to make 
 some remark, the father shouted out, " Stop that 
 noise, boys." 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 
 49 
 
 THE UNRULY BOYS. 
 
 They paid no more heed to him than they 
 did to the rain. Soon again, in an irritated 
 voice, he exclaimed, 
 
 " Boys, be still, or I will whip you : as sure 
 as you are alive I will." But the boys, as 
 though accustomed to such threats, screamed 
 and quarreled on without intermission. 
 
 At last the lather said to me, " I believe 1 
 have got the worst boys in town ; I never can 
 make them mind me." 
 
 The fact was, these boys had the worst father 
 
 D 
 
50 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 in town. He was teaching them disobedience 
 as directly and efficiently as he could. He 
 was sivinsj commands which he had no inten- 
 tion of enforcing, and they knew it. This, to 
 be sure, is an extreme case. But just so far as 
 any mother allows her authority to be disre- 
 garded, so far does she expose herself to the 
 contempt of her children, and actually teaches 
 them lessons of disobedience. 
 
 And is there any difficulty in enforcing obe- 
 dience to any definite command ? Take the 
 case of the child playing with the Bible. A 
 mild and judicious mother says distinctly and 
 decidedly to her child, " My daughter, that is 
 not a book for you, and you must not touch it.'* 
 The child hesitates for a moment, but yielding 
 to the strong temptation, is soon playing with 
 the forbidden book. The mother immediately 
 rises, takes the child, and carries her into her 
 chamber. She sits down and says calmly, 
 " Mary, I said that you must not touch the 
 Bible, and you have disobeyed me. I am very 
 sorry, for now I must punish you." 
 
 Mary begins to cry, and to promise not to do 
 so again. 
 
 " But, Mary," says the mother, " you have 
 disobeyed me, and you must be punished." 
 
 Mary continues to cry, but the mother seri- 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 51 
 
 ously and calmly punishes her. She inflicts 
 real pain — pain that will be remembered. 
 
 She then says, " Mary, it makes me unhappy 
 to punish you. I love my little daughter, and 
 wish to have her a good girl." 
 
 She then perhaps leaves her to herself for a 
 few minutes. A little solitude will deepen the 
 impression made. 
 
 In five or ten minutes she returns, takes Mary 
 in her arms and says, " Mary, are you sorry that 
 you disobeyed me?' 
 
 Almost any child would answer " Yes." 
 
 " Will you be careful and not disobey me 
 agam t 
 
 " Yes, mother." 
 
 " Well, Mary," says her mother, " / will for- 
 give you, so far as I can ; but God is displeased ; 
 you have disobeyed him as v/ell as me. Do 
 you wish me to ask God to forgive you ?" 
 
 " Yes, mother," answers the child. 
 
 The mother then kneels with her daughter 
 and ofiers a simple prayer for forgiveness, and 
 for the return of peace and happiness. She 
 then leads her out, humbled and subdued. At 
 night, jus! before she goes to sleep, she mildly 
 and affectionately reminds her of her disobe- 
 dience, and advises her to ask God's forgive- 
 ness again Mary, in child-like simplicity, ac- 
 
52 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 knowledges to God what she has done, and asks 
 him to forgive her, and take care of her, during 
 the night. 
 
 When this child awakes in the morning, will 
 not her young affections be more strongly fixed 
 upon her mother in consequence of the disci- 
 pline of the preceding day? As she is playing 
 about the room, will she be likely to forget the 
 lesson that she has been taught, and again reach 
 out her hand to a forbidden object ? Such an 
 act of discipline tends to establish a general 
 principle in the mind of the child, which will 
 be of permanent operation, extending its influ- 
 ence to every command, and promoting the 
 general authority of the mother and the subjec- 
 tion of the child. 
 
 I know that some mothers say that they have 
 not time to pay so much attention to their chil- 
 dren. But the fact is, that not one third of the 
 time is required to take care of an orderly fam- 
 ily, which is necessary to take care of a disor- 
 derly one. To be faithful in the government 
 of your family, is the only way to save time. 
 Can you afford to be distracted and harassed 
 by continued disobedience ? Can you spare 
 the time to have your attention called away, 
 every moment, from the business in which you 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 53 
 
 are engaged, by the mischievousness of your 
 willful children ? 
 
 Look at the parent surrounded by a family 
 of children who are in the habit of doing as they 
 please. She is very busily employed, I will 
 suppose, upon some article of dress, which it 
 is important should be immediately finished. 
 Every moment she is compelled to raise her 
 eyes from her work, to see what the children 
 are doing. Samuel is climbing upon the table. 
 Jane is drawing out the andirons. John is gal- 
 loping about the room upon the tongs. The 
 mother, almost deafened with noise, wonders 
 what makes her children so much more trouble- 
 some than those of other people. 
 
 " Jane, let those andirons alone," she ex- 
 claims. Jane runs away for a moment, chases 
 Charles around the room, and returns to her 
 mischief. 
 
 "Charles, put back those tongs." Charles 
 pays no heed to the direction. 
 
 The mother, soon seeing how he is wearing 
 the carpet and bruising the furniture, gets up, 
 gives Charles a shake, and places the tongs in 
 their proper situation ; but by the time she is 
 fairly seated, and at her work again, Charles is 
 astride the shovel, and traveling at the top of 
 his speed. 
 
54 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 I need not continue this picture. But every 
 one knows that it is not exaggerated. Such 
 scenes often occur. Thousands of immortal 
 spirits are trained up in this turbulence, and an- 
 archy, and noise, for time and for eterhity. 
 Now this mother will say to you that she has 
 not time to bring her children into subjection. 
 Whereas, had she been faithful with each indi- 
 vidual child, and thus early trained them all to 
 the habit of obedience, she would have saved 
 herself an immense amount of time and toil ; — 
 time and toil now vainly expended in attempts 
 to re-estabhsh her authority. 
 
 The truth is that though maintaining a proper 
 discipline in a family requires time, and in some 
 cases perhaps may require time which cannot 
 be very conveniently spared, yet on the whole, 
 it is the best possible course for the mother to 
 purue to save time. A mother whose family is 
 in the condition above described can have no 
 time really at her command. 
 
 We will suppose the case of another mother, 
 who has the same work to perform. She has 
 taught her children prompt and implicit obedi- 
 ence. She gives three of them perhaps some 
 blocks, in one corner of the room, and tells 
 them that they may play " build houses,'' but, 
 that they must not make much noise, and must 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 55 
 
 not interrupt her, for she wishes to be busy. 
 Tiie other three she places in another corner 
 of tlie room, with their slates, saying to them 
 that they may play " make pictures." The 
 children, accustomed to such orderly arrange- 
 ments, employ themselves very quietly and hap- 
 pily for perhaps three quarters of an hour. The 
 mother goes on uninterrupted in her work. 
 Occasionally she raises her eyes and says an 
 encouraging word to her children, now noticing 
 the little architects in the corner, and now 
 glancing her eye at the drawings upon the slates ; 
 thus showing the children that she sympathizes 
 with them, and takes an interest in their en- 
 joyments. The children are pleased and happy. 
 The mother is undisturbed. 
 
 She does not allow them to continue their 
 amusements till they are weary of them. But 
 after they have played perhaps three quarters of 
 an hour, she says, 
 
 " Come, children, you have played long 
 enough ; you may take up your little blocks 
 and put them away in the drawer." 
 
 " O, mother," says Maria, " let me play a 
 little while longer, for I have got my house al- 
 most done." 
 
 "Very well, you may finish it," says the 
 mother, "but tell me as soon as it is done." 
 
56 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 THE BUILDERS. 
 
 In a few min- 
 utes Maria says, 
 " There, mamma, 
 see what a large 
 house I have built.'* 
 The mother looks 
 at the edifice, and 
 adds a pleasant 
 word of encourage- 
 ment, and then di- 
 rects the builders 
 to put all their 
 blocks away in 
 their proper place. 
 She requests the children with the slates to 
 hang them up, and to put away their pencils ; 
 so that, the next day, when slates and blocks 
 are wanted, no time may be lost in searching 
 for them. 
 
 Now which mother has the most time ? and 
 which mother has the happiest time ? And 
 which mother will find the most comfort in 
 the subsequent character and affection of her 
 children ? 
 
 Perhaps some one will say, this is a pleas- 
 ing picture, but where are we to look for the 
 reality ? It is indeed to be regretted that such 
 scenes are of so unfrequent occurrence. But 
 
• MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 67 
 
 it is far from being true that they do not occur. 
 There are many such families of happy parents 
 and affectionate children. And these families 
 are not confined to the wealthy and the learned. 
 It requires not wealth, and it requires not ex- 
 tensive learning, to train up such a family. 
 The principle of government is simple and 
 plain. It is to begin with enforcing obedience 
 to every command. It is to establish the prin- 
 ciple that a mother's word is never to be disre- 
 garded. Every judicious parent will, indeed, 
 endeavor to gratify her children in their reason- 
 able wishes. She will study to make them 
 happy ; but she will never allow them to gratify 
 themselves in contradiction to her wishes. 
 
 To illustrate this, let us refer to the children 
 playing with the blocks. The mother directs 
 them to put up the blocks. Maria asks permis- 
 sion to play a few moments longer, till she can 
 finish her house. The mother, desirous of ma- 
 king her children as happy as she can, grants 
 this reasonable wish. Here is a judicious in- 
 dulgence. But suppose again that the children 
 had continued playing without regard to their 
 mother's command. They intend, perhaps, to 
 continue their amusement only till they com- 
 plete the pile then in progress. Here is an act 
 of direct disobedience. The children are con- 
 
56 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 suiting their own inclinations instead of the 
 commands of their mother. A judicious pa- 
 rent will not allow such an act to pass unno- 
 ticed or unpunished. She may perhaps think, 
 considering the circumstances of the case, that 
 a reprimand is all that is required. But she will 
 not fail to seize upon the occasion to instill into 
 their minds a lesson of obedience. 
 
 Is it said that by noticing such little things a 
 mother must be continually finding fault ? But 
 it,is not a little thing for a child to disobey a 
 mother's commands. This one act of disre- 
 garding authority prepares the way for another. 
 It is the commencement of evil which must be 
 resisted. The very first 'appearances of insub- 
 ordination must be checked. There are doubt- 
 less cases of trifling faults occurring, which a 
 wise parent will judge it expedient to overlook. 
 Children will sometimes be thoughtless and in- 
 advertent. They will occasionally err from 
 strict propriety, without any real intention of 
 doing wrong. Judgment is here requisite in 
 deciding what things must be overlooked ; but 
 we may be assured, I think, that direct and open 
 disobedience is not, in any case, to be classed 
 among the number of trifling faults. The eat- 
 ing of an apple banished our first parents from 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 59 
 
 paradise. The atrocity of the offense consist- 
 ed in disobedience of a divine command. 
 
 Now, every mother has power to obtain 
 prompt obedience if she commences with her 
 children when they are young. They are then 
 entirely in her hands. All their enjoyments 
 are at her disposal. God has thus given her 
 all the power that she needs, to govern and 
 guide them. We have endeavored to show, by 
 the preceding illustrations, that the fundamental 
 principle of government is, when you do give a 
 command, invariably insist upon obedience. 
 And God has given every mother the power to 
 enforce this principle. He has placed in your 
 hands a helpless babe, entirely dependent upon 
 you ; so that if it disobeys you, all you have to 
 do is to cut off its sources of enjoyment, or to 
 inflict bodily pain, so steadily and so invariably 
 that disobedience and suffering shall be indisso- 
 lubly connected in the mind of the child. What 
 more power can a parent ask for than that 
 which God has already given him. ? And if we 
 fail to use this power for the purposes for which 
 it was bestowed, the sin is ours, and upon us 
 and upon our children must rest the consequen- 
 ces. The exercise of discipline must often be 
 painful, but if you shrink from duty here, you 
 expose yourself to all that sad train of woes 
 
60 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 which disobedient children leave behind them. 
 If you can not summon sufficient resolution to 
 deprive them of enjoyment, and inflict pain 
 when it is necessary, then you must feel that a 
 broken heart and an old age of sorrow will not 
 be unmerited. And when you look upon your 
 dissolute sons and ungrateful daughters, you 
 must remember that the tifne was when you 
 might have checked their evil propensities. If 
 you love momentary ease better than your chil- 
 dren's welfare and your own permanent happi- 
 ness, you can not murmur at the lot which you 
 will have freely chosen. And when you meet 
 your children at the bar of God, and they point 
 to you and say, '•' It was through your neglect 
 of duty that we are banished from heaven, and 
 consigned to endless woe," you must feel what 
 no tongue can tell. Ah ! it is dreadful for a 
 mother to trifle with duty. Eternal destinies 
 are committed to your trust. The influence 
 which you are now exerting will continue un- 
 checked by the grave or the judgment, and will 
 extend onward through those ages to which 
 there is no end. 
 
CII AFTER III. 
 
 MATERNAL AUTHORITY CONTINUED. 
 
 Upon the subject of obedience there are a 
 lew other suggestions of importance to be 
 made. 
 
 1. First, there is a very great diversity in 
 the natural dispositions of children. Some 
 are very tender in their feelings, and easily 
 governed by affection. Others are naturally 
 independent and self-willed. Sometimes a child 
 gets its passions excited and its will determined, 
 and it can not be subdued but by a very great 
 effort. Almost every faithful mother is ac- 
 quainted with such contests, and she knows 
 that they often form a crisis in the character 
 of the child. If the child then obtain the vic- 
 tory, it is almost impossible for the mother 
 afterward to regain her authority. The child 
 feels that he is the victor, and his mother the 
 vanquished ; and it is with very great difficulty 
 that he will be compelled to renounce his in- 
 dependence. If, on the other hand, the mother 
 
62 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 conquer, and the child is subdued, he feels that 
 the question is settled, and he has but little dis- 
 position to resume hostilities with one who has 
 proved herself superior. I have known many 
 such contests, severe and protracted, which 
 w^ere exceedingly painful to a parent's feelings. 
 But, when once entered upon, they must be 
 continued till the child is subdued. It is not 
 safe, on any account, for the parent to give up 
 and retire vanquished. 
 
 The following instance of such a contest is 
 one which really occurred. A gentleman, sit- 
 ting by his fireside one evening, with his 
 family around him, took the spelling-book and 
 called upon one of his little sons to come and 
 read. John was about four years old. He 
 knew all the letters of the alphabet perfectly, 
 but happened at that moment to be in rather a 
 sullen humor, and was not at all disposed to 
 gratify his father. Very reluctantly he came 
 as he was bid, but when his father pointed with 
 his pencil to the first letter of the alphabet, and 
 said, " What letter is that, John ?" he could get 
 no answer. John looked upon the book, sulky 
 and silent. 
 
 "My son," said the father pleasantly, "you 
 know the letter A'' 
 
 " I can not say J.," said John, 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 6? 
 
 " You must," said the father, in a serious and 
 decided tone. " What letter is that ?" 
 
 John refused to answer. The contest was 
 now fairly commenced. John was willful, and 
 determined that he would not read. His father 
 knew that it would be ruinous to his son to 
 allow him to conquer. He felt that he must, 
 at all hazards, subdue him. He took him into 
 another room, and punished him. He then re- 
 turned, and again showed John the letter. But 
 John still refused to name it. The father again 
 retired with his son, and punished him more 
 severely. But it was unavailing ; the" stubborn 
 child still refused to name the letter, and when 
 told that it was A, declared that he could not 
 say A. Again the father inflicted punishment 
 as severely as he dared to do it, and still the 
 child, with his whole frame in agitation, refused 
 to yield. The father was suffering from the 
 most intense solicitude. He regretted exceed- 
 ingly that he had been drawn into the contest. 
 He had already punished his child with a sever- 
 ity which he feared to exceed.. And yet the 
 willful sufferer stood before him, sobbing and 
 trembling, but apparently as unyielding as a 
 rock. I have often heard that parent mention 
 the acuteness of his feelings at that moment. 
 His heart was bleeding at the pain which he 
 
64 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 had been compelled to inflict upon his son. He 
 knew that the question was now to be settled, 
 who should be master. And after his son had 
 withstood so long and so much, he greatly 
 feared the result. The mother sat by, suffer- 
 ing, of course, most acuteJy, but perfectly sat- 
 isfied that it was their duty to subdue the child, 
 and that in such a trying hour a mother's feel- 
 ings must not interfere. With a heavy heart 
 the father again took the hand of his son to 
 lead him out of the room for farther punish- 
 ment. But, to his inconceivable joy, the child 
 shrunk from enduring any more suffering, and 
 cried, " Father, Til tell the letter." The father, 
 with feelings not easily conceived, took the 
 book and pointed to the letter. 
 
 "J.," said John, distinctly and fully. 
 
 "And what is that ?" said the father, pointing 
 to the next letter. 
 
 ' B^ said John. 
 
 " And what is that ?" 
 
 " C," he continued. 
 
 " And what" is that ?" pointing again to the 
 first letter. 
 
 "J.," said the now humble child. 
 
 " Now carry the book to your mother, and 
 tell her what the letter is." 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. G5 
 
 "What letter is that, my son," said the 
 mother. 
 
 "A," said John. He was evidently perfectly 
 subdued. The rest of the children were sitting 
 by, and they saw the contest, and they saw 
 where was the victory. And John learnt a les- 
 son which he never forgot — that his father had 
 an arm too strong for him. He learned never 
 again to v^^age such an unequal warfare. He 
 learnt that it was the safest and happiest course 
 for him to obey. 
 
 But perhaps some one says it was cruel to 
 punish the child so severely. Cruel ! It was 
 mercy and love. It would indeed have been 
 cruel had the father, in that hour, been un faith 
 ful, and shrunk from his painful duty. The 
 passions which he was then, with so much self 
 sacrifice, striving to subdue, if left unchecked, 
 would, in all probability, have been a curse to 
 their possessor, and have made him a curse to 
 his friends. It is by no means improbable that 
 upon the decisions of that hour depended the 
 character and happiness of that child for life, 
 and even for eternity. It is far from improba- 
 ble that, had he then conquered, all future ef- 
 forts to subdue him would have been in vain, 
 and that he would have broken away from all 
 restraint, and have been miserable in life, and 
 
66 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 lost in death. Cruelty! The Lord preserve 
 children from the tender mercies of those who 
 so regard such self-denying kindness. 
 
 It is always best, however, if possible, to avoid 
 such collisions. Many children are taught im- 
 plicit obedience, without ever entering into such 
 a contest with their parents. And it is cer- 
 tainly preferable to govern a child by the mild 
 procedure of ordinary discipline, rather than 
 enter into such a formidable conflict, where 
 great severity is often required. Wisdom, there- 
 fore, teaches us to guard against giving a child 
 an opportunity of summoning all its energies to. 
 disobey. They are peculiar occasions, and pe- 
 culiar moods of mind, which generally elicit 
 this strength of rebellious feeling. A little fore- 
 sight will often enable us, w^ithout surrender of 
 authority, to calm the rising feeling, instead of 
 exciting it to its utmost strength. We may 
 sometimes, by judicious management, check the 
 rebellion in its first appearance, before it has 
 gained sufficient str'ength to call all our powder 
 into exercise to put it down. 
 
 As an illustration, let us suppose that James 
 and Mary are playing together in the evening, 
 and James gets vexed and strikes his sister. 
 He has done this without any provocation, and 
 ought to be punished, and to ask his sister's for- 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 67 
 
 giveness. But the mother has perceived that, 
 during the whole day, James has manifested a 
 very unamiable disposition. He has been irri- 
 table and unyielding. She sees that now he is 
 excited and angry. Every parent knows that 
 such variations of feeling are not uncommon. 
 One day a child is gentle and affectionate ; the 
 next every thing seems to go wrong; little 
 things vex and irritate him, and his whole dis- 
 position seems to be soured. The mother now, 
 in the case in question, perceives that her son 
 is in this frame of mind. He has done wrong, 
 and he ought to ask his sister's forgiveness ; 
 but she knows that, in this excited and unamia- 
 ble frame of mind, he will be strongly tempted 
 to resist her authority if she requires him to do 
 so. Unreasonably vexed as he is, it would be 
 one of the hardest acts of submission for him 
 to ask the forgiveness of his sister. If the 
 mother requires him to do so, the temptation is 
 so strong, that, in all probability, he w^ill refuse 
 to obey. She must then punish him. And 
 here comes the contest, which must be con- 
 tinued, if it is commenced, till the child submits. 
 Now, how is this contest to be avoided ? By 
 overlooking the fault ? Most certainly not. 
 The mother rises, takes James by the hand, 
 and says, " Mv son, vou have been doinc: verv 
 
68 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 wrong; you are ill-humored, and must not 
 stay with us any longer : I will carry you to 
 bed." She accordingly leads him away to his 
 chamber. 
 
 Just before leaving him for the night, she 
 says to him in a kind but sorrowful tone, how 
 much she is displeased, and how much God 
 must be displeased with his conduct. As usual, 
 she hears him say his prayers, or kneels by the 
 bedside and prays herself that God will forgive 
 him. She then leaves him to his own reflec- 
 tions and to sleep. 
 
 He is thus punished for his fault. And as he 
 lies in his bed, and hears his brothers and sis- 
 ters playing happily together below stairs, he 
 feels how much wiser and better it is to be a 
 good boy. In the morning he awakes. Night 
 has given repose to his excited feehngs. He 
 thinks how unhappy his yesterday's misconduct 
 made him, and resolves to be more upon his 
 guard for the future. All his rebellious feelings 
 are quelled by the soothing influence of sleep. 
 His passions are not aroused. The mother can 
 now operate upon his mind without any fear of 
 having a contest with a determined and stub- 
 born will. 
 
 When the children come down in the morn- 
 ing, she calls James and Mary before her. 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 69 
 
 Taking the hand of each, she nriildly says, " My 
 son, you made us all unhappy last night by 
 striking your sister ; I hope you are sorry foi 
 what you did." " Yes, mother, I am," says 
 James ; being led easily now to the feelings of 
 penitence and submission, to which, during the 
 moments of irritation and excitement, he could 
 not, at least without great difficulty, have been 
 driven. Thus, by judicious management, the 
 desired object is attained, and perfectly attained, 
 while the contest is avoided. The fault is not 
 overlooked, and James is humbled. But had 
 the mother, regardless of the child's peculiar 
 state of feeling, commanded him immediately 
 to ask forgiveness of his sister, it would, in all 
 probability, have led to a scene acutely painful 
 to both mother and son. And the final effect 
 of the discipline would, perhaps, have been less 
 beneficial upon the mind of the child than the 
 course which was actually pursued. But cases 
 will sometimes occur when it is not possible 
 thus to wave the strife. When such an emer- 
 gency rises, it is the duty of the parent boldly 
 and resolutely to meet it. If, from false feeling, 
 you shrink from this duty, you are recreant to 
 the sacred trust which God has committed to 
 your care. Is it kindness for a mother to let 
 her child die, rather than compel it to take the 
 
70 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 bitter prescription which is to restore it to 
 health and strength ? And is it kindness to let 
 those passions conquer, which, unsubdued, will 
 be, for time and eternity, a scourge to their pos- 
 sessor ? If there be any cruelty in the world 
 which is truly frightful, it is the cruelty of a 
 falsely indulgent and unfaithful parent. 
 
 Let it be particularly understood, however, 
 in respect to the subject of formal and settled 
 contests between parents and children, that 
 though firmness and decision are absolutely 
 necessary on the part of parents, when such 
 contests unavoidably arise, they can and they 
 ought to be in most cases avoided. If, for in- 
 stance, a child disobeys you, you can simply 
 punish it for the act of disobedience, and there 
 let the difficulty end. It is not necessary that 
 you should always require that the thing at first 
 commanded should be done. You direct a little 
 girl to give a book to her sister. She refuses ; 
 and you may take two distinct courses to main- 
 tain your violated authority. You may go and 
 take the book yourself and give it to the sis- 
 ter, and then inflict such a punishment upon 
 the disobedient one as the offense deserves. 
 Or, you may insist upon obedience ; and to en- 
 force it, enter upon a contest which may be 
 long and painful. Now, whichever of these 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 71 
 
 plans you adopt, be firm and decided in the ex- 
 ecution of it. The former is, however, in al- 
 most all cases, the wisest and best. 
 
 In the above remarks, allusion has been made 
 to the variations of feeling to which children 
 are subject. 'No one, who has had any thing 
 to do with education, can have failed to observe 
 tliis. In fact, these fluctuations of feeling are 
 by no means peculiar to the earlier stages of 
 life. Almost every one is conscious of seasons 
 when he seems to be afflicted with a kind of 
 morbid sensitiveness. Our spirits often rise 
 and fall with the state of the bodily health ; and 
 he has gained a great victory over his body, 
 and a great triumph of mind, who can invaria- 
 bly preserve the same calm and cheerful spirit, 
 undisturbed by harassing cares, or by the irri- 
 tations of a diseased frame. The nervous sys- 
 tem of some individuals is so delicately con- 
 structed, that an east wind, or a damp day, will 
 completely unhinge the mind. When we see 
 that some of the wisest and best of men are 
 oppressed with these infirmities, we must learn 
 forbearance and sympathy with children. At 
 such times, a judicious mother, knowing that 
 the irritability is as much a bodily as a mental 
 infirmity, will do all in her power to calm and 
 soothe the ruffled spirit. She will avoid every 
 
72 THE MOTHRR AT HOME. 
 
 thing calculated to irritate the feelings, and will 
 endeavor, by gentle amusements, or by the in- 
 fluence of repose, to lull these feelings to sleep. 
 By this method she will save the child much 
 unhappiness, and will greatly promote the culti- 
 vation of an amiable and sweet disposition. 
 The heart of a child is of too delicate a texture 
 to be handled with a rgugh and careless grasp. 
 Its affectionate and gentle feelings should be 
 ehcited by maternal sympathy and love. And 
 we should endeavor to assuage its occasional 
 irritability, by calling away the mind from ob- 
 jects of unpleasant excitement, and alluring it 
 to cheering contemplations. 
 
 It is clear that there is a striking difference 
 in the natural dispositions of children ; but 
 nothing can be more evident than that a good 
 disposition may be permanently changed by 
 harsh and vexatious measures, while on the 
 other hand, a child of naturally unamiable feel- 
 ings may, by judicious culture, become mild 
 and lovely. The cultivation of the disposition 
 is an important part of education. Hence the 
 necessity of studying the moods and the feel- 
 ings of the child, and of varying the discipline 
 to meet these changes. Cases will undoubtedly 
 arise, when the parent will find it difficult to 
 judge what is duty. Such cases will, however, 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 73 
 
 be unfrequent. The obvious general policy is, 
 when a child is in this excited state, to remove 
 him as much as possible from the power of 
 temptation. And if he commits a fault which 
 it is necessary to notice, let the punishment be 
 of such a kind as is calculated to soothe and 
 quiet him. For instance, give him a comfort- 
 able seat by the fire, and require him not to 
 leave the chair for half an hour. Place in his 
 hand some pleasing book, or give him some 
 plaything which will amuse him. By this 
 means you will show that though you find it 
 necessary to subject him to confinement, you 
 cherish no vindictive or resentful feelings 
 against him, and so you awaken no resentment 
 in his heart. In this way the punishment is 
 adapted to the peculiarity of the moral dis- 
 order. 
 
 Nor would such a confinement as this be a 
 mere mockery of punishment, as it might at 
 first seem. The child feels it to be a real pun- 
 ishment, while still he is not irritated by it. 
 Ir some cases even, faults may be committed, 
 in circumstances such as we have supposed, 
 which it would be best not to notice at all. A 
 boy may speak peevishly to his sister. The 
 mother does not appear to notice it ; she, how- 
 ever, sees the importance of immediately allay- 
 
74 TflE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ing this peevish spirit, and she endeavors tc 
 plan some amusement v^^hich will promote good- 
 humor. Perhaps she lays dov^^n her vi^ork and 
 joins the children in their amusements, till, 
 through her happy influence, cheerfulness and 
 good-humor are restored. 
 
 " Here, my son," she says, " I should like to 
 have you take your slate, and sit down in your 
 chair, and see if you can draw some animal so 
 correctly that I can tell what it is. And Maria, 
 you may take your slate and chair, and sit by 
 his side, and do the same." 
 
 The children are quite animated with their 
 new play. They are soon busily at work, and 
 whispering together, that their mother may not 
 hear their conversation aad learn by it what 
 animals they are drawing. By this simple arti- 
 fice the little cloud of irritated feeling which 
 was rising, is entirely dispelled. Had the moth- 
 er, on the other hand, punished the child for the 
 incidental peevishness of remark, his mind 
 , would not nave been so speedily or so pleasantly 
 brought into its desired state. Or, had the 
 mother taken no notice of the occurrence, the 
 disposition of the child would have been injured 
 by the continuance and perhaps increase of the 
 ill-humor. Very probably an open quarrel 
 might soon have ensued. Constant watchful- 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 75 
 
 ness, on the part of the mother, will enable her 
 thus to foresee many dangers, and prevent 
 many difficulties. 
 
 2. Never punish a child when it has not in- 
 tentionally done wrong. Chidren are often 
 very unjustly punished. Things which are 
 really wrong are sometimes overlooked, and at 
 others punishment is inflicted on account of 
 some accident, when the child is entirely inno- 
 cent of any intentional wrong. Such a course 
 of procedure not only destroys, in the mind of 
 the child, the distinction between accident and 
 crime, but is in itself absolutely iniquitous. 
 The parent possesses all power, and she may 
 act as a relentless tyrant, while the child can 
 have no redress. There is no oppression more 
 cruel than that often thus exercised by passion- 
 ate parents over their children. 
 
 It is very frequently the case that a mother, 
 who does not intend to be guilty of injustice, 
 neglects to make a proper distinction between 
 faults and accidents. A child is playing about 
 the room, and accidentally tears its clothes, or 
 breaks a window with the ball which it is al- 
 lowed to play with upon the floor. The mother, 
 vexed with the trouble which the accident will 
 cause her, hastily punishes the child. A child 
 may indeed be careless, and so criminally care- 
 
76 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 less as to deserve punishment. But in that 
 case, the punishment ought to be inflicted in 
 such a manner as to show very clearly that it 
 was the carelessness and not the accident that 
 incurred it. To punish an accident is a great 
 injustice ; — it is an injustice, however, that is 
 far more extensively practiced than is generally 
 imagined. In fact, perhaps the most common 
 cause of unjust punishment, is confounding the 
 accidental consequences of an act with the real 
 guilt which a child incurred while performing 
 that act. 
 
 Parents are very prone to punish careless- 
 ness in their children, when it leads to any evil 
 consequences, and to overlook it when it is 
 harmless in its results. A girl, for instance, is 
 placed in charge of an infant. She leaves it 
 and goes away a moment to play. The mother 
 sees that she has gone, and calls her back, only 
 chiding her for her neglect of duty, because no 
 harm was done. If the infant had fallen down 
 and been hurt, the girl would have been pun- 
 ished. 
 
 We are all too much inclined to estimate 
 guilt by consequences. A child, for example, 
 who has been permitted to climb upon the 
 chairs, and take things from the table, acciden- 
 tally pushes off some valuable article. The 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 
 77 
 
 THE ACCIDENT. 
 
 mother punishes hini severely. Now, where 
 did this child do wrong ? His mother had not 
 taught him that he must not climb up to the 
 table. Of course, in the act of climbing there 
 was no disobedience, and the child could not 
 have been conscious, while doing it, that he 
 was doing any thing improper If merely a 
 book had fallen, probably no notice would have 
 been taken of the case. But the simple fact 
 that one article fell instead of another, can not 
 
78 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 alter the nature of the offense. If it had been 
 the most valuable watch which had fallen, and 
 thus had been entirely ruined, if it had occurred 
 purely through accident, the child deserves no 
 punishment. 
 
 Perhaps some one says, there is no need of 
 arguing a point which is so clear. But is it 
 not clear that such acts of injustice are very 
 frequent ? And is not almost every mother 
 conscious that she is not sufficiently guarded 
 upon this point? A mother must have great 
 control over her own feelings — a calmness and 
 composure of spirit not easily disturbed — or she 
 will be occasionally provoked to acts of injustice 
 by the misfortunes of which her children are 
 the innocent cause. 
 
 Does any one ask what should be done in such 
 cases as the one referred to ? The answer is 
 plain. Children ought to be taught not to do 
 what will expose property to injury ; and then, 
 if they do what is thus prohibited, consider them 
 guilty, whether injury results or not. If the 
 child, in the above-named case, had been so 
 taught, this would have been an act of direct 
 disobedience. And a faithful mother would 
 probably pursue some such course as this. 
 Without any manifestation of anger, she would 
 calmly and seriously say to her son, 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 79 
 
 " My son, I have often told you that you 
 nnust not climb upon the table. You have dis- 
 obeyed me." 
 
 " But, mother," says the son, " I did not mean 
 to do any harm." 
 
 " I presume you did not, my son ; I do not 
 accuse you of doing harm, but of having dis- 
 obeyed me. The injury was accidental, and 
 you are not accountable for it ; but the dis- 
 obedience was deliberate, and very wrong. I 
 am very sorry to punish you, but I must do it. 
 It is my duty." 
 
 She would then punish him, either by the 
 infliction of pain, or by depriving him, for a 
 time, of some of his usual privileges or enjoy- 
 ments. The punishment, however, would be 
 inflicted for the disobedience, and not for the 
 accident which attended the disobedience. The 
 child could not but feel that he was justly con- 
 demned. 
 
 But the question still remains, what is to be 
 done, upon the original supposition that the 
 child had never been taught that it was wrong 
 to climb upon the table, or to throw his ball 
 about the room ? In that case the mother has, 
 manifestly, no right even to censure the child. 
 The fault is hers, in not having previously 
 taught him the impropriety of such conduct. 
 
80 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 All that she can now do, is to improve the op- 
 portunity which the occasion presents, to show 
 him the danger of such amusements, and forbid 
 them in future. 
 
 If the child be very young, the mother will 
 find it necessary occasionally to allude to the 
 accident and to the rule which she had been led 
 ^o establish by the occurrence of it, that the 
 lessen may be impressed upon the mind of the 
 child. If she were not to do this, the occur- 
 rence might soon pass from his memory, and in 
 a few days he might again, through entire for- 
 getfulness, be engaged in his forbidden sports. 
 
 Allowance must also be made for the igno- 
 rance of a child. You have, perhaps, a little 
 daughter, eighteen months old, who often 
 amuses herself in tearing to pieces some old 
 newspaper which you give her. It is, to her, 
 quite an interesting experiment. Some day 
 you happen to have your attention particularly 
 occupied for a length of time, and at last, on 
 raising your eyes to see what keeps her so quiet 
 upon the floor, you find that she has a very 
 valuable book in her hand, which she has almost 
 entirely ruined ; and your first impulse is to 
 punish her, or, at least, severely to reprove her 
 for the injury. But has she really been doing 
 any thing deserving of punishment or censure ? 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 
 
 81 
 
 Certainly not. How can she know that it is 
 proper for her to tear one piece of paper, but 
 wrong for her to tear another ? She has been 
 as innocently employed as she ever was in her 
 life. The only proper thing to be done, in such 
 a case, is to endeavor to teach the child that a 
 hook must be handled with care, and must not 
 be torn. But how can she be taught this with- 
 out punishing her ? She may be taught by the 
 serious tone of your voice, and the sad expres- 
 sion of your countenance, that she has been 
 doing something which you regret. In this 
 way she may be easily taught the difference 
 between a book and a newspaper. 
 
 mm 
 
 about two years of 
 age, was in the 
 habit of amusing 
 himself by scrib- 
 bling upon paper 
 with a pencil. The 
 father came into 
 the room one day, 
 and found that the 
 little fellow had ex- 
 ceedingly defaced 
 a new book. The 
 marks of his pencil 
 
 THE BOOK. 
 
82 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 were all over it. Perfectly unconscious of the 
 mischief which he was doing, the child con- 
 tinued his employment as the father entered. 
 In many cases, the parent, in irritation, would 
 have roughly taken the book away, and inflicted 
 a severe blow upon the cheek of the child. I 
 thought I perceived that this v/as the first emo- 
 tion in the mind of this parent, though he was 
 of an unusually calm and collected spirit.. If it 
 was, however, he immediately saw its impro- 
 priety ; for, approaching his child, he said, in a 
 perfectly miid and pleasant tone, 
 
 " O ! my son ! my son ! you are spoiling the 
 book." 
 
 The child looked up in amazement. 
 
 " That is a book, my son ; you must not 
 write upon that. See here," turning over the 
 leaves, " you will spoil father's book. Here is 
 some paper for you. You may write upon this, 
 but you must never write in the book." 
 
 The father then took the book, injured as it 
 was, and laid it aside, without any exhibition 
 of excited feeling. Now, how manifestly is this 
 the proper course to pursue, in such a case ; 
 and yet how few children are there who, in 
 such circumstances, would have escaped unde- 
 served punishment. 
 
 These illustrations are sufficient to show the 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 83 
 
 importance of making allowance for ignorance; 
 and for accidents. And they also show how 
 frequently children suffer, when they are not to 
 blame. If a child is punished when innocent, 
 as well as when guilty, the distinction between 
 right and wrong is obliterated from his mind. 
 Hence it becomes an important rule in family 
 government, never to punish the child unless he 
 has intentionally and knowingly done wrong. 
 
 3. Never think that your child is too young 
 to obey. We are ingenious in framing excuses 
 for neglecting our duty with our children. At 
 one time they are too young ; again they are 
 too sick. Some parents always find an excuse^ 
 of one kind or another, for allowing their chil- 
 dren to have their own way. A child may,, at a 
 very early age. be taught obedience. We can 
 easily teach even a kitten, or a little dog, that 
 it must not touch the meat which is placed be- 
 fore the fire, that it must leave the room when 
 bidden, and a thousand other acts of ready 
 obedience. 
 
 A Frenchman, it is said, has recently collected 
 a large number of canary birds for a show. He 
 has taught them such implicit obedience to his 
 voice, as to march them in platoons across the 
 room, and directs them to the ready performance 
 of many simple manoeuvers. 
 
8'4 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Now, can it be admitted that a child, fifteen 
 months or two years of age, is inferior in un- 
 derstanding to a canary bird ! And must the 
 excuse be made for such a child, that he does 
 not know enough to be taught obedience ? A 
 very judicious mother, who has brought up a 
 large family of children, all of whom are now 
 in situations of respectability and usefulness, 
 remarked that it was her practice to obey her 
 children for the first year of their life, but ever 
 after that she expected them to obey her. She, 
 of course, did not mean by this remark, that the 
 moment the child was one year of age, a sud- 
 den and total change took place in her manage- 
 ment. During the early months of its infancy 
 she considered it to be her duty to do every 
 thing in her power to make the child comfort- 
 able and happy. She would endeavor to anti- 
 cipate all its wants. She would be obedient to 
 the wishes of the child. But, by the time the 
 child was one year of age, she considered it old 
 enough to be brought under the salutary regu- 
 lations of a well-disciplined family. 
 
 I am aware that many parents will say that 
 this is altogether too early a period to com- 
 mence the government of a child, and others 
 equally numerous, perhaps, will say that it is 
 too late ; that a beginning should be made at a 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 85 
 
 much earlier period. In fact, the principle 
 vvhiph really ought to guide in such a case, is 
 this : that the authority of the mother ought to 
 be established over the child as soon as it is able 
 to understand a command or prohibition ex- 
 pressed by looks and gestures. This is at a 
 much earlier period than most parents imagine. 
 Let the mother who doubts it try the exper- 
 iment, and see how easily she can teach her 
 child that he must not touch the tongs or and- 
 irons ; or that, when sitting in her lap at table, 
 he must not touch the cups and saucers. A 
 child may be taught obedience in such things 
 then, as well as at any period of its life. And 
 how much trouble does a mother save herself, 
 by having her child thus early taught to obey ! 
 How much pain and sorrow does she save her 
 child by accustoming it, in its most tender years, 
 to habits of prompt obedience. 
 
 4. Guard against too much severity. By pur- 
 suing a steady course of efficient government, 
 severity will very seldom be found necessary. 
 If, when punishment is necessary, it is inflicted 
 with composure and with solemnity, occasions 
 for punishment will be very unfrequent. Let 
 a mother ever be affectionate and mild with her 
 children. Let her sympathize with them in 
 their little sports. Let her gain their confi- 
 
86 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 dence by her assiduous efforts to make them 
 happy. And let her feel,, when they have done 
 wrong, not irritated, but sad ; and punish them 
 in sorrow, but not in anger. Fear is a useful 
 and necessary principle in family government. 
 God makes use of it in governing his creatures. 
 But it is ruinous to the disposition of a child, 
 exclusively to control him by this motive. How 
 unhappy must be that family where the parent 
 always sits with a face deformed with scowls, 
 and where the voice is always uttered in tones 
 of severity and command ! Such parents we 
 often see. Their children fear them. They 
 are always under restraint in their presence; 
 and home becomes to them an irksome prison, 
 instead of the happy retreat of peace and joy. 
 But where the mother greets her children with 
 smiles ; and rewards their efforts to please her, 
 with caresses ; and addresses them in tones of 
 mildness and affection, she is touching those 
 chords in the human heart which vibrate in 
 sweet harmony ; she is calling into action the 
 noblest and the loveliest principles of our na- 
 ture. And thus does she prepare the way for 
 every painful act of discipline to come wuth ef- 
 fectual power upon the heart. The children 
 know that it gives her pain to punish them. 
 In all cases in which it can be done, children 
 
MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 87 
 
 should thus be governed by kindness. But 
 when kindness fails, and disobedience ensues, 
 let not the mother hesitate for a moment to fall 
 back upon her last resort, and punish as severely 
 as is necessary. A few such cases will teach 
 almost any child how much better it is to be 
 obedient than disobedient. 
 
 By being thus consistent and decided in gov- 
 ernment, and commencing with the infancy of 
 each child, in all ordinary cases great severity 
 may be avoided. And it is never proper for a 
 parent to be harsh, and unfeeling, and forbid- 
 ding, in her intercourse with her children. The 
 most efficient family government may be al- 
 most entirely administered by affection, if it be 
 distinctly understood that disobedience can not 
 pass unpunished. I can not but pity those un- 
 happy children who dare not come to their pa 
 rents in confidence and love ; who are con- 
 tinually fearing stern looks and harsh words ; 
 and who are consequently ever desirous to get 
 away from home, that they may enjoy them- 
 selves. Every effort should be made to make 
 home the most happy place to them ; to gather 
 around it associations of delight ; and thus to 
 form in the mind of your child an attachment 
 for peaceful and purifying enjoyments. This 
 will most strongly fortify his mind against vice. 
 
THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 And when he leaves the paternal roof, he will 
 ever look back with fond recollections to its 
 joys, and with gratitude to those who made it the 
 abode of so much happiness. In future years, 
 too, when your children become the heads of 
 families, they will transmit to their children the 
 principles which you have implanted. Thus 
 may the influence of your instructions extend 
 to thousands yet unborn. 
 
 How little do we think of the tremendous 
 resporisibihties which are resting upon us ; and 
 of the wide influence, either for good or for evil, 
 which we are exerting ! We are setting in 
 operation a train of causes which will go down 
 through all coming time. Long after we have 
 gone to our eternal home, our words and our 
 actions will be aiding in the formation of char- 
 acter. We can not then arrest the causes which 
 our lives have set in progress, and they will go 
 on elevating immortals to virtue and to heaven, 
 or urging them onward in passion, and sin, and 
 woe. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 The remarks which have ah'eady been made 
 are so obvious, that one is led to inquire, Why 
 is family government generally so defective ? 
 Why do so few succeed in obtaining prompt 
 obedience from their children ? There are 
 many causes operating to produce this result. 
 The rules of discipline may be simple and plain, 
 and yet many motives may influence us to 
 shrink from enforcing them. 
 
 1. One great obstacle is the ivant of self- 
 control on the ])art of jjarents. How few 
 persons are there who have gained that con- 
 quest over self, which enables them to meet the 
 various vicissitudes of life with calmness and 
 composure I How few are there who are not, 
 occasionally at least, thrown off their guard, 
 and provoked to the exhibition of excited and 
 irritated feeling ! And can a mother expect to 
 govern her child when she can not govern her- 
 self ? Family government must most emphati- 
 
90 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 cally begin at home. It must begin in the 
 bosom of the parent. She must learn to con- 
 trol herself ; to subdue her own passions; she 
 must set her children an example of meekness 
 and of equanimity, or she must reasonably ex- 
 pect that all her efforts to control their passions 
 will be ineffectual. A child gets irritated and 
 strikes his sister ; and the mother gets irritated 
 and whips the child. Now, both mother and 
 child have been guilty of precisely the same 
 sin. They have both been angry, and both in 
 anger have struck another. And what is the 
 effect of this sinful punishment ? It may make, 
 the child afraid to strike his sister again ; but 
 will it teach that child that he has done wTong ; 
 that it is wicked to be angry ? Can it have 
 any salutary effect upon his heart ? He sees 
 that his mother is irritated, and thus is he taught 
 that it is proper for him to be angry. He sees 
 that when his mother is irritated she strikes ; 
 and thus is he taught that the same course is 
 proper for him. The direct effect of the pun- 
 ishment is to feed the flame and strengthen the 
 inveteracy of passion. In such a course as this 
 there is no moral instruction, and no salutary 
 disciphne. And yet a mother who has not con- 
 quered self, who can not restrain the violence 
 of her own passions, vv^ill often inflict punish- 
 
THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 91 
 
 ments like these. When we see such a moth- 
 er with passionate and turbulent children, no 
 second question need be asked wh}^ they are 
 not gentle and obedient. And when we reflect 
 how very few there are who may not be occa- 
 sionally provoked to act from the irritation of 
 the moment, we can not wonder that the family 
 so often presents a scene of uproar and misrule. 
 This habit of self-control, at all times, and 
 under all circumstances, is one of the most im- 
 portant and most difficult things to be acquired. 
 Many parents have, from infancy, been unac- 
 customed to restraint, and they find a very great 
 struggle to be necessary to smother those feel- 
 ings which will sometimes rise almost involun- 
 tarily. But we should ever remember that this 
 must be done, or we can not be faithful to our 
 children. We must bring our own feelings and 
 our own actions under a system of rigid disci- 
 pline, or it will be in vain for us to hope to curb 
 the passions and restrain the conduct of those 
 who are looking to us for instruction and ex- 
 ample. There will many cases occur which 
 will exceedingly try a mother's patience. Un- 
 less naturally blest with a peculiarly quiet spirit, 
 or habituated from early life to habits of self- 
 government, she will find that she has very 
 much to do with her own heart. This point 
 
92 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 we would most earnestly urge, for it is of fun- 
 damental importance. Anger is temporary in- 
 sanity. And what can be more deplorable than 
 to see a mother in the paroxysm of irritation, 
 taking vengeance on her child ? Let a mother 
 feel grieved, and manifest her grief when her 
 child does wrong. Let her, with calmness and 
 reflection, use the discipline which the case re- 
 quires. But never let her manifest irritated 
 feeling, or give utterance to an angry expres- 
 sion. If her own mind is thus kept serene and 
 unimpassioned, she will instruct by example as 
 well as precept. She will easily know, and 
 more judiciously perform her duty. And the 
 superiority of her own conduct will command 
 the respect and the admiration of her children. 
 Until this is done, it will be impossible for a 
 mother to enforce the rules of discipline, simple 
 and obvious as those rules are. 
 
 2. Another great obstacle in the way is the 
 want of resolution. It is always painful to a 
 parent's feelings to deprive a child of any rea- 
 sonable enjoyment, or to inflict pain. Hence 
 we are ingenious in framing apologies to re- 
 lieve ourselves from this duty. Your child does 
 wrong, and you know that he ought to be pun- 
 ished ; but you shrink from the duty of inflict- 
 ing the punishment. Now, of what avail is it 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 93 
 
 to be acquainted with the rules of discipline, 
 if we can not summon resolution to enforce 
 those rules ? It will do no good to read one 
 book and another upon the subject of education, 
 unless we are willing, with calm and steady 
 decision, to punish our children when the occa- 
 sion requires. It is this weak indulgence, this 
 wicked refusal to perform painful duty, which 
 has ruined thousands of families. 
 
 In fact, cases sometimes occur, in which a 
 mother, not content with neglecting herself, to 
 perform her duty to her children, will interpose 
 to prevent her husband from doing it. She will 
 openly remonstrate with the father for punish- 
 ing a stubborn child. She will call him cruel 
 and unfeeling, and confirm her child in his will- 
 fulness, by her wicked sympathy and her ca- 
 resses. 
 
 What can be expected from such a course as 
 this ? Such a mother is the most cruel and 
 merciless enemy which her child can have. 
 Under such an influence he will probably grow 
 up in wretchedness, not only to curse the day 
 in which he was born, but to heap still bitterer 
 curses upon the mother who bore him. You 
 can do nothing more ruinous to your child ; 
 you can do nothing which will more effectually 
 teach him to hate and despise you ; you can do 
 
94 THE MOTHER AT HOxME. 
 
 nothing which will, with more certainty, bring 
 you in sorrow and disgrace to the grave, than 
 thus to allow maternal feelings to influence you 
 to neglect painful but necessary acts of disci- 
 pline. 
 
 I would ask the mother who reads this book, 
 if she has not often been conscious of a struggle 
 between the sense of duty and inclination. 
 Duty has urged you to punish your child. In- 
 clination has urged you to overlook its disobe- 
 dience. Inclination has triumphed ; and your 
 child has retired victorious, and of course con- 
 firmed in his sin. Be assured that thus, in your 
 own heart, lies one of the greatest obstacles to 
 your success ; and until this obstacle be sur- 
 mounted, every thing else will be unavailing. 
 It w^ould by no means be difficult to fill this 
 volume with cases illustrative of this fact, and 
 of the awful consequences resulting. 
 
 A few years since, a lady was left a widow, 
 with several little sons. She loved them most 
 devotedly. The affliction which she had ex- 
 perienced in the loss of her husband, fixed her 
 .affections with more intensity of ardor and sen- 
 sitiveness upon her children. They were her 
 only hope. Sad and joyless as she was, she 
 could not endure to punish them, or to deprive 
 them of a single indulgence. Unhappy and 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 95 
 
 misguided vvonian ! Could she expect to es- 
 cape the consequences of such a course ? She 
 was living upon the delusive hope that her in- 
 dulgences would insure their love. And now 
 one of these sons is seventeen years of age, a 
 strong, and turbulent, and self-willed boy. He 
 is altogether beyond the influence of maternal 
 restraint. He is the tyrant of the family, and 
 his afflicted mother is almost entirely broken- 
 hearted by this accumulation of sorrow. The 
 rest of the children are advancing in the same 
 path. She sees and trembles in view of the 
 calamity, which it is now too late to avert. It 
 would be far happier for her to be childless, as 
 well as a widow. Her children are her op- 
 pressors. She is their slave. It is impossible 
 for her now to retrace her steps, or to retrieve 
 the injury which she has done to her children 
 and to herself. Hardly any situation can be 
 conceived more truly pitiable. And what has 
 caused this magnitude of sorrow ? Simply the 
 mother's reluctance to do her duty. She looked 
 upon her poor fatherless children with all the 
 tender emotions of a widowed mother, and 
 could not bear to throw around them necessary 
 restraint, and insist upon obedience to her com- 
 mands. She knew perfectly well, that when 
 they were disobedient, they ought to be pun- 
 
96 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 isliecl ; that it was her duty to enforce her au- 
 thority. It was not her ignorance which caused 
 this dreadful wreck of happiness ; it was the 
 want of resolution — ^that fond, and foolish, and 
 cruel tenderness, which induced her to consult 
 her own feelings, rather that the permanent 
 welfare of her children. 
 
 The reader will, perhaps, inquire whethei 
 this statement is a true account of a real case. 
 It is a true account of a thousand cases all over 
 our land. Mothers, we appeal to your observa- 
 tion, if you do not see, every where around you^ 
 these wrecks of earthly hopes. Have we not 
 warnings enough to avoid this fatal rock ? and 
 yet it is the testimony of all who have moved 
 about the world with an observing eye, that this 
 parental irresolution is one of the most promi- 
 nent causes of domestic misery. 
 
 Parental discipline should be enforced too, 
 with calmness, energy, and decision, or it will 
 often become inefficient and merely vexatious, 
 so as to do more harm than good. The spirit 
 of the child will be irritated, but not subdued 
 by it. Punishment in such cases becomes a 
 petty vexation, and its influence is most de- 
 cidedly pernicious. It is of the utmost impor- 
 •tance, that when it is inflicted, it should be 
 serious and effectual. And it is certain that 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 97 
 
 the mother who adopts prompt and decisive 
 measures, will go forward with far less trouble 
 to herself and her child, and will, on the whole, 
 inflict far less pain than the one who adopts the 
 feeble and dilatory measures which we see so 
 often resorted to. While the one must be con- 
 tinually threatening, and inflicting that mockery 
 of punishment which is just enough to irritate 
 the temper and spoil the disposition ; the other 
 will usually find her word promptly obeyed, and 
 will very seldom find it necessary to punish 
 at all. 
 
 Many parents govern or attempt to govern, by 
 threats. They never punish for the present of- 
 fence, but are always threatening something ter- 
 rible for the next one. When the next time 
 comes, there is still no punishment but only 
 new threats for future occasions. Now a gov- 
 ernment of threats is the worst possible gov- 
 ernment. Such a system keeps up a continual 
 feeling of irritation and anger between the pa- 
 rent and child, and yet fails wholly to accom- 
 plish the ends of efficient discipline. 
 
 But few persons have ever exemplified a 
 more correct knowledge of human nature than 
 Napoleon, and but few have ever acquired such 
 a control over the mind. There was once a 
 formidable mob rioting in the streets of Paris. 
 
98 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 
 
 THE RIOT. 
 
 and carrying dev- 
 astation wherever 
 they went. An of- 
 ficer was sent out 
 with a body of in« 
 fantry to disperse 
 ^;the mob. He or- 
 lldered them to re- 
 tire. They answer- 
 ed him with de- 
 rision. He threat- 
 ened to fire upon 
 them. T he V defied 
 him. He opened 
 upon them a fire with blank cartridges. As 
 volley after volley was discharged, and not a 
 man fell, the mob laughed to scorn such impo- 
 tent efforts. At last the general was compelled 
 to load with ball. But by this time the passions 
 of the mob were so excited, and they had be- 
 come so familiar with the harmless discharge 
 of musquetry, that they stood firm when the 
 balls came. They had been gradually prepared 
 for them. A formidable battle was the result; 
 anc it was not till after an immense massacre 
 that the infuriated populace was dispersed. 
 
 At another time, when the ravages of a Par- 
 kian mob were scattering terror through the 
 
thjS mother's difficulties. 99 
 
 city, Napoleon himself went to suppress it. 
 He led on, at a quick step, several companies 
 of artillery. Immediately upon arriving at the 
 scene of devastation, the soldiers, retiring to 
 the right and left, opened upon the riotous mul- 
 titude the formidable cannon. Not a word 
 was said; not a moment of hesitation inter- 
 vened ; but at once the voice of Napoleon was 
 heard in the thunder of the artillery, and the 
 compact mass of the multitude was plowed 
 through by a cannon-ball. The mob, unpre- 
 pared for such decisive measures, and terrified 
 at the havoc, fled with the utmost precipitancy 
 in every direction. Then did he pour in his 
 blank cartridges. Peal after peal thundered 
 through the streets, adding to the consternation 
 of the affrighted multitude, and in a very few 
 minutes scarcely a solitary straggler was to be 
 seen. The whole effect was produced by one 
 ball fired at the proper time. 
 
 Such was the general character of the meas- 
 ures which this extraordinary man adopted, 
 and which gave him an ascendency over the 
 public mind almost unparalleled in the history 
 of man. Some one afterward suggested to him 
 in respect to the case above described, that it 
 would have been more merciful if he had first 
 tried the effect of blank charges, and then, if 
 
100 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 necessary, had proceeded to extremities. But 
 he very justly replied, that by such tardy meas- 
 ures the mob would have had time to collect 
 their courage, and many more would have fal- 
 len before they could have been compelled 
 to fly. 
 
 Now the principle illustrated in this anecdote 
 is of universal application. Real benevolence 
 prompts to decisive measures. The mother 
 who first coaxes, then threatens, then pretends 
 to punish, then punishes a little, and finally a 
 little more, — is only making trouble for herself 
 and sorrow for her family. But, on the other 
 hand, if she promptly meets acts of disobe- 
 dience with firmness, and inflicts necessary 
 punishment decidedly, and at once, she is, in 
 the most effectual way, promoting her own 
 happiness, and the best welfare of her child. 
 
 A parent is much more prone to be thus fa- 
 tally indulgent, if a child is of a feeble and sick- 
 ly constitution. Such children are very fre- 
 quently spoiled. How strange, when God, in 
 his mysterious providence, lays his hand upon 
 some little one, and causes it to languish in 
 weakness and in suffering, that the parent on 
 that very account should neglect that child's 
 welfare, and allow its passions to grow un- 
 checked, its will to be stubborn and unsubdued ! 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 101 
 
 The mother perhaps is willing to do her duty 
 with her more robust son. She will do all in 
 her power to control his passions, and make him 
 a good and happy boy. But the poor little suf- 
 ferer she will indulge in all its caprices, till pas- 
 sion is strong and irritability is unconquerable, 
 and the deeper sorrows of the mind are thus 
 added to the pains and weakness of the body. 
 O how much cruelty there is in the world 
 which goes by the false name of tenderness or 
 love. Mother, have you a sick and suffering 
 child ? You are to that child a guardian an- 
 gel, if with mild and affectionate decision you 
 enforce your authority. Punish that child if it 
 be necessary to teach him habitually and prompt- 
 ly to obey. If you do not do this, you are the 
 most dangerous enemy that your child can have. 
 You. are doing that which has the most direct 
 tendency to perpetuate its feebleness and to 
 promote its misery. And yet I know that some 
 mothers will still say, " What, speak sternly to, 
 and even punish a poor little child when sick ! 
 How unfeeling !" There, there is the difficulty. 
 Is it unkind for you to do all in your power to 
 make your child patient and happy ! A little 
 girl, we will suppose, by some accident is cut 
 deeply in the hand. Her mother is so kind 
 that she will not allow a physcian to be called, 
 
102 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 for fear lest he should hurt her daughter in pro- 
 bing and dressing the wound. Day after day 
 this kindmother beholds the increasing and ex- 
 tending inflammation. She strives in her igno- 
 rance to assuage the agony of the wound, till^ 
 after many days of excruciating suffering, the 
 physician is finally summoned to save her 
 daughter's life by amputating the limb. When 
 the accident first occurred, a few moments of 
 attention, and the enduring of a trifling pain, 
 would have prevented all these dreadful conse- 
 quences. 
 
 But the conduct of that mother is far more 
 cruel, who will allow the mind's inflammation 
 to increase and extend unchecked ; who, rather 
 than inflict the momentary pain which is ne- 
 cessary to subdue the stubborn will, and allay 
 irritation, will allow the moral disorder to gain 
 such strength as to be incurable. The conse- 
 quences thus ensuing are far more disastrous 
 than those resulting from any bodily injury. 
 They affect man's immortal nature, and go on 
 through eternity. There is no cruelty so de- 
 structive as this. 
 
 Yet let it not be supposed that austerity is 
 recommended. This is unnecessary, and is al- 
 ways to be avoided. Let the tones of the voice 
 be aftectionate and soothing. Let the mother 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 103 
 
 sympathize with her whole heart in the trials 
 and sufferings of her child. Let her be inge- 
 nious in devices for its amusement. But let 
 her not ruin her precious treasure by indulging 
 it in peevishness or disobedience. Your child 
 can not possibly be happy, unless taught to sub- 
 due his passions and to be obedient to your will. 
 We would have kindness, and gentleness, and 
 love, ever diffusing joy through the family cir- 
 cle. But if you would see your children happy, 
 and be happy yourself, you must, when your 
 children are in sickness, as well as when they 
 are in health, summon sufficient resolution to 
 insure propriety of behavior and obedience to 
 your commands. 
 
 Be invariably firm then in doing your duty. 
 Never be restrained from any duty in the gov- 
 ernment of your child, because it is painful to 
 maternal feelings to perform it. It is certainly 
 wisely ordered by Providence that it should be 
 painful to a parent's heart to inflict suffering 
 upon a child. He who can punish without 
 sympathy, without emotions of sorrow, can not 
 punish with a right spirit. Even our Father in 
 heaven does not willingly afflict his children. 
 But does he on that account withhold his disci- 
 pline, and allow us to go on in sin unpunished ? 
 We must, in earnest prayer, look to him for 
 
104 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 strength and wisdom, and religiously do our 
 duty. We must be willing to have our own 
 hearts bleed, if we can thus save our children 
 from the ravages of those passions which, un- 
 checked, will ruin their usefulness and peace. 
 
 A child, a short time since, was taken sick 
 with the dangerous disorder, the croup. It was 
 a child most ardently beloved, and ordinarily 
 very obedient. But in the state of uneasiness 
 and pain produced by the paroxysms of the dis- 
 ease, he refused to take the medicine which it 
 was needful to administer without delay. The 
 father, finding the boy resolute in his disobedi- 
 ence, immediately punished him, sick and suf- 
 fering as he w^as. Under these circumstances, 
 and fearing that his son might soon die, it must 
 have been a most severe trial to the father to 
 be compelled to perform this duty. But the 
 consequence was, that the child was taught that 
 sickness was no excuse for disobedience. And 
 while his sickness continued, he promptly took 
 whatever medicine was prescribed, and was 
 patient and submissive. Soon the child was 
 w^ell. Does any one say that this was cruel ? 
 It was one of the noblest acts of kindness which 
 could have been performed. If the father had 
 shrunk from duty here, it is by no means im- 
 probable that the life of the child would have 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 105 
 
 been the forfeit. And this is the way to ac- 
 quire strength of resolution, by practicing 
 strength of resolution in every case. We must 
 readily and promptly do our duty, be it ever so 
 painful. 
 
 3. Another gi^eat obstacle in the way of train- 
 ing up a happy and virtuous family , is the oc- 
 casional want of harmony between parents on 
 the subject of education. Sometimes, when a 
 father is anxious to do his duty, the mother is 
 a weak and foolish woman, who thinks that 
 every punishment, and every deprivation of in- 
 dulgence, is cruelty to her children. And when 
 any one of them is punished, she will, by her 
 caresses, destroy the effect of the discipline, and 
 convey to the mind of the child the impression 
 that his father is cruel and unjust. A man who 
 has formed so unhappy a connection, is indeed 
 in a deplorable condition. And if his wife is 
 incapable of being convinced of the ruinous 
 consequences of such a course, he ought to take 
 upon himself the whole duty of government. 
 But as I am not now writing to fathers, I must 
 turn from this case to another. 
 
 It not unfrequently happens that a judicious 
 and faithful mother is connected with a hus- 
 band whose general principles and example are 
 of a deleterious character. In such cases, not 
 
lOG THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 only does the whole government of the family 
 devolve upon the mother, but the influence of 
 the father is such as, in a great degree, to coun- 
 teract all her exertions. This is indeed a try- 
 ing situation. It is, however, far from being a 
 hopeless one. You must not give up in de- 
 spair, but let the emergencies of the case rouse 
 you to more constant watchfulness, and more 
 persevering and vigorous effort. If a wife be 
 judicious and consistent in her exertions, a 
 father, in almost all cases, will soon feel confi- 
 dence in her management of her family, and 
 will very gladly allow her to bear all the burden 
 of taking care of the children. Such a father 
 is almost necessarily, much of the time, absent 
 from home, and when at home, is not often in a 
 mood to enjoy the society of his family. Let 
 the m.otherin such a case, teach her children to 
 be quiet and still when their father is present. 
 Let her make every effort to accustom them 
 to habits of industry. And let her do every 
 thing in her power to induce them to be respect- 
 ful, and obedient, and affectionate to their fa- 
 ther. This course is indeed the best which can 
 be adopted to reclaim the unhappy parent. The 
 more cheerful you can make home to him, the 
 stronger are the inducements which are pre- 
 
THE mother's difficulties. 107 
 
 sented to draw him away from scenes into 
 which he ought not to enter. 
 
 It is true there is no situation more difficult 
 than the one which we are now describing. 
 But, that even these difficulties are not insur- 
 mountable, facts have not unfrequently proved. 
 Many cases occur, in which the mother tri- 
 umphantly surmounts them all, and rears up a 
 virtuous and happy family. Her husband is, 
 perhaps, most brutally intemperate ; and I need 
 not here depict the scenes through which such 
 a mother is called to pass. She sees, however, 
 that the welfare of the family is dependent upon 
 her, and accordingly nerves her heart, resolutely, 
 to meet her responsibilities. She commences, 
 in the earliest infancy of her children, teaching 
 them implicit obedience. She binds them to 
 her with those ties from which they never would 
 be able or desirous to break. The most abund- 
 ant success rewards her efforts. The older her 
 children grow, the more respectful and attentive 
 they become, for the mcJre clearly they see that 
 they are indebted to their mother for salvation 
 from their father's disgrace and woe. Every 
 sorrow of such a mother is alleviated by the 
 sympathy and affection of her sons. She looks 
 around upon them with feelings of maternal 
 gratification, which no language can describe. 
 
108 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 They feel the worth and the dignity of hei 
 character. Though her situation in life may 
 be humble, and though her mind may not be 
 stored with knowledge, her moral worth, and 
 her judicious government, command their rev- 
 erence. 
 
 In a family of this sort, in a neighboring 
 state, one cold December night, the mother was 
 sitting alone by the fire, between the hours of 
 nine and ten, waiting for the return of her ab- 
 sent husband. Her sons, fatigued with the la- 
 bors of the day, had all retired to rest. A little 
 before ten, her husband came in from the neigh- 
 boring store, where he had passed the evening 
 with his degraded associates. He insisted upon 
 calling up the boys at that unseasonable hour, 
 to send into the wood lot for a load of wood. 
 Though there was an ample supply of fuel at 
 the house, he would not listen to reason or re- 
 monstrance, but stamped with rage, and swore 
 that the boys should go. The mother, finding 
 it utterly in vain to oppose his wishes, called 
 her sons, and told them that their father insisted 
 upon their going with the team to the wood lot. 
 She spoke to them kindly ; told them she was 
 sorry that they must go ; but, said she, " Re- 
 member that he is your father." Her sons were 
 full grown young men. But at their mother's 
 
THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 109 
 
 voice they immediately rose, and, without a 
 murmur, brought out the oxen, and went to the 
 woods. They had perfect confidence in hei 
 judgment and her management. While the} 
 were absent, their mother was busy in preparing 
 an inviting supper for them upon their return. 
 The drunken father soon retired. About mid- 
 night the sons finished their task, and entering 
 the house, found their mother ready to receive 
 them with cheerfulness and smiles. A bright 
 fire was blazing on the hearth. The room was 
 
 THE SUPPER. 
 
110 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 warm and pleasant. With keen appetites and 
 that cheerfulness of spirits which generally ac- 
 companies the performance of duty, those chil- 
 dren sat down with their much-loved parent to 
 the repast she had provided, and soon after all 
 were reposing in the quietude and the silence 
 of sleep. 
 
 Many a mother has thus been the guardian 
 and the savior of her family. She has brought 
 up her sons to industry, and her daughters to 
 virtue. And in her old age she has reaped a 
 rich reward for all her toil, in the affections and 
 attentions of her grateful children. She has 
 struggled, in tears and discouragement, for 
 many weary years, till at last God has dispelled 
 all the gloom, and filled her heart with joy in 
 witnessing the blessed results of her fidelity. 
 Be not, therefore, desponding. That which has 
 once been done, may be done again. 
 
 From what has been said in this chapter, it 
 appears that self-control and resolution are the 
 two all-important requisites in family govern- 
 ment. With these two qualifications, which a 
 person is inexcusable in not possessing, almost 
 every other obstacle may be surmounted 
 Without these, your toil and solicitude will, in 
 all probability, be in vain. 
 
 Your faithful exertions, attended with God's 
 
THE MOTFIER S DIFFICULTIES. Ill 
 
 ordinary blessing, will open to you daily new 
 sources of enjoyment in the unfolding virtues 
 and expanding faculties of your children. 
 Your decisive government will, most undoubt- 
 edly, be rewarded with the affection and re- 
 spect of those whom you are training up to 
 usefulness and happiness. And when old age 
 comes, your children will welcome you to their 
 homes, and rejoice to give you a seat by their 
 fireside, and by unremitted attentions will do 
 all in their power to prove how deeply they feel 
 that debt of gratitude which never can be fully 
 repaid. Such joys will obliterate the remem- 
 brance of all present toils and sorrows. Let 
 these hopes cheer you tc go on rejoicing in the 
 path of duty. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 FAULTS AND ERRORS. 
 
 There are many faults in family governmenl, 
 which have been handed down from genera- 
 tion to generation, and have become almost 
 universally diffused. They are so general, and 
 we have been so long accustomed to them, that 
 their glaring impropriety escapes our notice. 
 The increasing interest now felt in the subject 
 of education, by leading parents to read and to 
 think, has taught many to avoid those errors 
 which still very generally prevail. There are 
 many parents who have not facilities for ob- 
 taining books upon this subject, and who have 
 not been led to reflect very deeply upon their 
 responsibilities. Some of these errors are such, 
 that an apology seems almost necessary for 
 cautioning mothers against them, since common 
 sense so plainly condemns them. But let it be 
 remembered, how large a portion of the moth- 
 ers of our land are, by their situation, deprived 
 of those sources of information and excite- 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 113 
 
 ments to thought, which God has conferred 
 upon others. 
 
 1. Do not talk about children in their pres- 
 ence. We are very apt to think that children 
 do not understand what we say to one another, 
 because they are unable to join in the conver- 
 sation themselves. But a child's con^jjrehen- 
 sion of language is far in advance of his ability 
 to use it. I have been much .surprised at the 
 result of experiments upon this subject. A lit- 
 tle child creeping upon the floor, and who could 
 not articulate a single word, was requested to 
 carry a piece of paper across the room and put 
 it in a chair. The child perfectly comprehended 
 the direction, and crept across the room, and 
 did as he was bidden. An experiment or two 
 of this kind will satisfy any one how far a 
 child's mind is in advance of his power to ex- 
 press his ideas. And yet, when a child is three 
 or four years old, parents will relate in their 
 presence shrewd things which they have said 
 and done ; sometimes even their acts of dis- 
 obedience will be mentioned with a smile. The 
 following conversation once passed between a 
 lady and a mother, whose child, three years of 
 age, was standing by her side. 
 
 " How does little Charles do ? said the lady. 
 
 " O," replied the mother, with a smile, " he is 
 II 
 
114 THE MOTHER AT HOiME. 
 
 pretty well, but he is the greatest rogue you 
 ever saw : I can do nothing with him." 
 
 " Why," said the lady, " he does not look like 
 a stubborn child." 
 
 " No," the mother replied, " he has not a bad 
 disposition, but," she continued, smiling, " he is 
 so fon4^of mischief that I can never make him 
 mind me. He knows that he must not touch 
 the andirons, but just before you came in he 
 went and put one of his fingers on the brass, 
 and looked me directly in the face. I told him 
 he must take off his hand ; and he put another 
 finger on. I tried to look cross at him ; but he, 
 instead of stopping, rubbed his whole hand over 
 the brass, and then ran away, laughing as 
 heartily as he could. He did it, I suppose, on 
 purpose to plague me, he is such a rogue." 
 
 We insert this rather undignified story, that 
 the mothers who may read this chapter may 
 know exactly what we mean by the caution we 
 are urging. Now, to say nothing of that ma- 
 ternal unfaithfulness which would permit such 
 acts of disobedience, how ruinous upon the 
 mind of the child must be the effect of hearins 
 his conduct thus spoken of and applauded ! 
 This perverse little fellow was more interested 
 in the narration than either mother or visitor, 
 and the impression produced upon his mind was 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 115 
 
 Stronger undoubtedly than upon theirs. The 
 child was taught a lesson of disobedience, not 
 soon to be forgotten. 
 
 There are nnany little artifices which a child 
 will practice, which are decidedly to be dis- 
 countenanced, but w^hich a parent nevertheless 
 can scarce refrain from smiling at when they 
 occur. These proofs of mental quickness and 
 ingenuity are in some sense gratifying to pa- 
 rental feelings. They give promise of a mind 
 susceptible of a high degree of cultivation, if 
 properly guided and restrained. And there are 
 playful and affectionate feats of childhood which 
 are pleasing on every account. They show 
 good feelings, as well as an active intellect. Pa- 
 rents will speak to one another of those innu- 
 merable little occurrences which are daily grati- 
 fying them. But if these things are mentioned 
 in the presence of the child, and applauded, its 
 little heart is pufied up with vanity. How 
 slight a degree of flattery is sometimes sufficient 
 to awaken emotions of the most disgusting self- 
 conceit, even in individuals of mature minds ! 
 How few persons are there who can bear praise ! 
 Vanity is almost an universal sir. None are 
 so low, and none are so high, as to be freed 
 from its power. And can a child bear, unin- 
 jured, that praise which has ruined so many 
 
116 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 
 
 men ? Here lies one cause of the self-conceit 
 so often visible in the nursery. We flatter our 
 children without being conscious that they are 
 so greedily drinking in the flattery. We do 
 not give them credit for the amount of under- 
 standing vv^hich they actually possess. It is 
 true, almost all children are regarded by their 
 parents as unusually intelligent. This arises 
 from the faot, that we are daily observing the 
 unfoldings of the minds of the little ones who 
 surround our firesides, while we have no op- 
 portunit}?- of noticing the mental developments 
 of others. But notwithstanding all this strength 
 of parental partiality, we ordinarily consider 
 children far less intelligent than they in reality 
 are ; and a mother will often talk as unguard- 
 edly in the presence of her child, who is three 
 or four years of age, as she would in the pres- 
 ence of an infant of so many months. The 
 necessity of caution upon this subject will be 
 obvious to every parent upon a moment's re- 
 flection. Let nothing be said in the hearing 
 of a child that would tend to excite its vanity. 
 Guard against the possibility of his supposing 
 that he does and say-s remarkable things, and is 
 superior to other children. 
 
 But though a parent may restrain her own 
 tongue, it is more diffir'ult to restrain the 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 
 
 117 
 
 tongues of others. Many visitors make it a 
 constant habit to flatter the children wherever 
 they go. Regardless of the ruinous efiects upon 
 their tender and susceptible minds, they think 
 only of pleasing the parents. Beautiful children 
 are thus peculiarly exposed. How common is 
 it for a child of handsome countenance to have 
 a spoiled temper! This is so frequently the 
 case, that many persons have supposed that 
 " spoiled beauty" are words never to be separ- 
 ated. I once knew a little boy, of unusually 
 bright and animated countenance. Every one 
 who entered the house, noticed the child, and 
 spoke of his beauty. One day a gentleman 
 called upon business, and being engaged in con- 
 versation, did not 
 pay that attention 
 to the child to N 
 which he was 
 accustomed, and 
 which he now be- 
 gan to expect as 
 his due. The vain 
 little fellow made 
 many efforts to at- 
 tract notice, but 
 not succeeding, he 
 at last placed him- ELF-coNCErr. 
 
118 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 self full in front of the gentleman, and asked, 
 '* Why don't you see how beautiful I be ?" The 
 feeling, it is true, is not often so openly express- 
 ed, but nothing is more common than for it to 
 be excited in precisely this way. 
 
 It is surely a duty to approve children when 
 they do right, and to disapprove when they do 
 wrong. But great caution should be used to 
 preserve a child from hearing any thing which 
 will destroy that most lovely trait of character 
 — -an humble spirit. It is, on this account, often 
 a misfortune to a child to be unusually hand- 
 some or forward. It is so difficult to preserve 
 it from the contaminations of flattery, that what ■ 
 might have been a great benefit, becomes a 
 serious injury. 
 
 2. Do not make exhibitions of your children's 
 attainments. And here we must refer again to 
 the danger of exciting vanity. There is no 
 passion more universal than vanity, or with 
 greater difficulty subdued. An eminent clergy- 
 man was once leaving his pulpit, when one of 
 his parishioners addressed him, highly commend- 
 ing the sermon he had just uttered. " Be care- 
 ful, my friend," said the clergyman, " I carry a 
 tinder-box in my bosom." And if the bosom 
 of an aged man of piety and of prayer may be 
 thus easily inflamed, must there not be great 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 119 
 
 danger in showing off a child to visitors, who 
 will most certainly flatter its perfornaance ? 
 You have taught your daughter some interest- 
 ing hymns. She is modest and unassuming, 
 and repeats them with much propriety. A 
 friend calls, and you request the child to repeat 
 her hymns. She does it. Thus far there is, 
 perhaps, no injury done. But as soon as she 
 has finished the recitation, your friend begins 
 to flatter the child. Soon another and another 
 friend calls, and the scene is continually re- 
 peated, till your daughter feels proud of her per- 
 formance. She becomes indeed quite an ac- 
 tress. And the hymn which was intended to 
 lead her youthful heart to God does but fill that 
 heart with pride. Must it not be so ? How 
 can a child withstand such strong temptations ? 
 Parents may very properly show their chil- 
 dren that they are gratified in witnessing their 
 intellectual attainments. And this presents a 
 motive sufficiently strong to stimulate them to 
 action. But when they are exposed to the in- 
 discriminate and injudicious flattery of any who 
 may chance to call, it is not for a moment to 
 be supposed that they will retain just views of 
 themselves. It must however be allowed, that, 
 with some children the danger is much greater 
 than with others. Some need much encourage- 
 
120 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 menl, while others need continual restraint. 
 Who has not noticed the thousand arts which 
 a vain child will practice, simply to attract at- 
 tention ? Who has not seen such a spoiled one 
 take a book and read, occasionally casting a 
 furtive glance from the page to the visitor, to 
 see if the studious habit is observed ? And can 
 such a child be safely exhibited to strangers ? 
 
 It may, perhaps, at times, be an advantage to 
 a modest child to repeat a hymn, or something 
 of that nature, to a judicious friend. If your 
 pastor feels that interest in children which he 
 ought to cherish, he will regard all the little 
 ones of his congregation with parental affection.- 
 He ouo;ht not to be considered as a strana;er in 
 the family. Children may appear before him 
 with confidence and affection, and if he has the 
 spirit of his Master, he will cautiously guard 
 against flattery, and endeavor to improve the 
 occasion by leading the mind to serious thoughts. 
 But the practice of making a show of children, 
 of exhibiting their little attainments to attract 
 applause, is certainly reprehensible ; and it is, 
 we fear, not only common, but increasing. The 
 following remarks upon this -subject are from 
 the pen of an individual who combines much 
 shrewdness of observation with extensive ex- 
 perience. 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 121 
 
 " I always felt pain for poor little things set 
 up before company to repeat verses, or bits of 
 plays, at six or eight years old. I have some- 
 times not known which way to look, when a 
 mother, whom 1 could not but respect on ac- 
 count of her fondness for her child, has forced 
 the feeble-voiced eighth wonder of the world to 
 stand with its little hand stretched out, spouting 
 the soliloquy of Hamlet, or some such thing. I 
 do not know any thing much more distressing 
 to the spectators than exhibitions of this sort. 
 Upon these occasions no one knows what to 
 say, or whither to direct his looks. If I had to 
 declare, which, on the whole, have been the most 
 disagreeable moments of my life, I verily believe 
 that, after due consideration, I should fix upon 
 those in which parents whom I have respected, 
 have made me endure exhibitions like these; 
 for this is your choice, to be insincere, or to 
 give offense. The plaudits which the child re- 
 ceives in such cases puff it up in its own 
 thoughts, and send it out into the world stuffed 
 with pride and insolence, which must and will 
 be extracted from it by one means or another. 
 Now parents have no right thus to indulge 
 their own feelings at the risk of the happiness 
 of their children." 
 
 Scenes similar to those above described will 
 
12v THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 at once occur to the recollection of every 
 reader. And the fact that such are the feelings 
 of many strangers, in general, is of itself amply 
 sufficient to discountenance the practice. 
 
 There are two extremes which it is necessary 
 to avoid. The one is that of secluding children 
 altogether from society ; the other is, of weary- 
 ing our friends by their presence and their 
 ceaseless talk. If we consider our children as 
 troubles, to be kept out of the way whenever 
 we wish for social enjoyment ; if the entrance 
 of a few friends to pass the evening is the sig- 
 nal for their immediate departure to another 
 room, how can we expect them to improve, or' 
 to become acquainted with the proprieties of 
 life ? They must listen to the conversation and 
 observe the manners of their superiors, that 
 their minds and their manners may be improved. 
 Not long since I heard a gentleman speaking 
 of an unusually interesting family that he had 
 just visited. It was known that he was coming 
 to pass the evening. As he entered the room 
 he saw three little children sitting quietly and 
 silently by the fire. The mother was sitting 
 by the table with her sewing. The father was 
 rising to receive him. The children remained 
 for an hour or moi:e, listening with interest to 
 the conversation which passed between their 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 123 
 
 parents and the gentleman. They made not 
 the least interruption, but by their presence and 
 cheerful looks contributed much to the enjoy- 
 ment of the evening. At eight o'clock the 
 mother said, " Children, it is eight." Without 
 another word, they all rose and left the room. 
 The mother soon followed, and after being ab- 
 sent a few moments, returned. Now how much 
 enjoyment is there in such a family as this ! 
 And how much improvement do the children 
 derive from being accustomed to the society of 
 their superiors ! In this way they are taught 
 humility, for they see how much less they know 
 than others. They gain information, and their 
 minds are strengthened by the conversation 
 they hear. Their manners are improved, for 
 children learn more by example than precept. 
 If you would enjoy these pleasures, and confer 
 upon your children these benefits,, it is indispen- 
 sable that they be habitually well governed. 
 Nothing can be more hopeless than to expect 
 that children will conduct properly when com- 
 pany is present, if at other times they are un- 
 controlled. 
 
 Some parents, feeling the importance that 
 their children should enjoy good society, and at 
 the same time having them under no restraint, 
 deprive themselves and their visitors of all en- 
 
124 
 
 THE MOTHER AT llOME. 
 
 joyment, and their children of all benefit. We 
 do not like, even in imagination, to encounter 
 the deafening clamor of such a scene. Some 
 are lolling about the stranger's chair ; some 
 crying; some shouting. The mother is pulling 
 at the gown of one and scolding at another, 
 
 LAWLESSNESS. 
 
 The visitor, distracted with the noise, endeavors 
 in vain to engage in conversation. The time, 
 and attention, and patience of the parents are 
 absorbed by their lawless family. The visito* 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 125 
 
 after enduring the uproar for half an hour, is 
 happy in making his escape. Where can there 
 be pleasure, and where can there be profit in 
 such a scene as this ? 
 
 There are nmany advantages in encouraging 
 an inquisitive spirit in a child. It has entered 
 upon a world where every thing is new and as- 
 tonishing. Of course it is hourly meeting with 
 objects upon which it desires information. But 
 sometimes when a child finds that his parents 
 encourage him in asking questions, he begins 
 to think that it is a very pretty thing. He will 
 be incessantly presenting his inquiries. His 
 motive will cease to be a gratification of a rea- 
 sonable and commendable curiosity, and he will 
 desire merely to display his skill, or to talk for 
 the sake of talking. It is very necessary to re- 
 strain children in this respect. Their motives 
 are generally distinctly to be seen. And if the 
 motive which prompts the question be improper, 
 let the child receive marks of disapprobation^ 
 and not of approval. 
 
 " Mother, what is the cofFee-pot for ?" said 
 a child of three years, at the breakfast table. 
 
 "It is to put the coffee in," said the mother. 
 
 " And why do you put the coffee in the cof- 
 fee-pot ?" 
 
126 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 " Because it is more convenient to pour it 
 out." 
 
 " And what," said the child, hesitating and 
 looking around the table to find some new ques- 
 tion. "And what — are the cups for?' 
 
 " They are to drink from." 
 
 " And why do you drink out of the cups ?" 
 
 In this manner the child, during the whole 
 time allotted for the breakfast, incessantly 
 asked his questions. The mother as continu- 
 ally answered them. She had adopted the 
 principle, that her child must always be en- 
 couraged in asking questions. And by blindly 
 and thoughtlessly following out this principle, 
 she was puffing up his heart with vanity, and 
 making him a most unendurable talker. The 
 common sense principle, to guide us upon this 
 subject, is obvious. If the motive be good, and 
 the occasion suitable, let the child be encouraged 
 in his inquiries. If otherwise, let him be dis- 
 couraged. A child is sitting at the breakfast 
 table with his father and mother. The mother 
 lifts the top of the coffee-pot, and the child ob- 
 serves the contents violently boiling. 
 
 " Mother," says the little boy, " what makes 
 the coffee bubble up so ?" 
 
 Here the motive is good, and the occasion is 
 proper. And one of the parents explains to 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 127 
 
 the child the chemical process which we call 
 the boiling. The parents have reason to be 
 gratified at the observation of the child, and the 
 explanation comnaunicates to him valuable 
 knowledge. But perhaps a stranger is present, 
 with whom the father is engaged in interesting 
 conversation. Under these circumstances, the 
 child asks the same question. It is, however, 
 now unseasonable. He ought to be silent when 
 company is present. The mother accordingly 
 replies, " My son, you should not interrupt your 
 father. You must be perfectly silent, and listen 
 to what he is saying." 
 
 She does not, however, forget the question, 
 but embraces some opportunity of again al- 
 luding to it. She gives him an answer, and 
 shows him that it is very impolite to. interrupt 
 the conversation of others, or to engross atten- 
 tion when company is present. Much pleasure 
 is destroyed, and much improvement prevented, 
 in permitting the conversation of friends to be 
 interrupted by the loquacity of children. 
 
 Some parents, to avoid this inconvenience, 
 immediately send their children from the room 
 when visitors arrive. This is treating children 
 with injustice, and the parents must reap the 
 mortifying consequences in their uncultivated 
 manners and uncultivated minds. Hence, in 
 
12y THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 many gentlemen's families, you find awkward 
 and clownish children. If children are banished 
 from pleasing and intelligent society, they must 
 necessarily grow up rude and ignorant. The 
 course to be pursued, therefore, is plain. They 
 should be often present when friends visit you. 
 But they should be taught to conduct properly 
 — to sit in silence and listen. They should not 
 speak unless spoken to. And above all, they 
 should not be thrust forward upon the attention 
 of visitors, to exhibit their attainments, and re- 
 ceive flattery as profusely as your friends may 
 be pleased to deal it out. 
 
 3. Bo not deceive children. Many are una- 
 ware of the evil consequences which result 
 from this common practice. A physician once 
 called to extract a tooth from a child. The 
 little boy seeing the formidable instruments, and 
 anticipating the pain, was exceedingly fright- 
 ened, and refused to open his mouth. After 
 much fruitless solicitation, the physician said, 
 '* Perhaps there is no need of drawing it. Let 
 me rub it a little with my handkerchief, and it 
 may be all that is necessary ; it will not hurt 
 you in the least." The boy, trusting his word, 
 opened his mouth. The physician, concealing 
 his instrument in his handkerchief, seized hold 
 of the tooth and wrenched it out. The parents 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 129 
 
 highly applauded his artifice. But the man 
 cheated the child. He abused his confidence , 
 and he inflicted an injury upon his moral feel- 
 ings not soon to be efl^aced. Will the child 
 ever believe again what that physician may 
 say ? And when told that it is wicked to say 
 that which is not true, will not the remem- 
 brance of the doctor's falsehood be fresh in his 
 mind ? And while conscious that his parents 
 approved of the aeception, will he not feel it to 
 be right for him to deceive, that he may accom- 
 plish his desires ? 
 
 The practice of deceiving children is attend- 
 ed with the most ruinous consequences. It un- 
 avoidably teaches the child to despise his pa- 
 rents. After he has detected them in one 
 falsehood, he will not believe them when they 
 speak the truth. It destroys his tenderness of 
 conscience ; and it teaches arts of deception. 
 And w4iat are the advantages ? Why, in one 
 particular instance, the point is gained. 
 
 Let compulsion be resorted to when neces- 
 sary, but deception never. If a child can not 
 place implicit confidence in his parent, most 
 assuredly no confidence can be reposed in the 
 child. Is it possible for a mother to practice 
 arts of deception and falsehood, and at the same 
 time her daughter be forming a character of 
 
 I 
 
130 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 frankness and of truth ? Who can for a mo- 
 ment suppose it ? We must be what we wish 
 our children to be. They will form their char- 
 acters from ours. 
 
 A mother was once trying to persuade her 
 little son to take some medicine. The medi- 
 cine was very unpalatable, and she, to induce 
 him to take it, declared it did not taste bad. 
 He did not believe her. He knew, by sad ex- 
 perience, that her word was not to be trusted. 
 A gentleman and friend who was present, took 
 the spoon, and said, 
 
 " James, this is medicine, and it tastes very 
 badly. I should not like to take it, but I would 
 take it if it was necessary. You have courage 
 enough to swallow something which does not 
 taste good, have you not ?" 
 
 " Yes," said James, looking a little less sulky. 
 " But that is very bad indeed." 
 
 " I know it," said the gentleman, " I presume 
 you never tasted any thing much worse." The 
 gentleman then tasted the medicine himself, 
 and said, " It is really very unpleasant. But 
 now let us see if you have not resolution 
 enough to take it, bad as it. is." 
 
 The boy hesitatingly took the spoon. 
 
 "It is, really, rather bad/' sa:d the gentle- 
 man ; " but the best way is to suQimon all your 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 131 
 
 resolution, and down with it at once, like a 
 man" 
 
 Jannes made, in reality, a great effort for a 
 child, and swallowed the dose. And who will 
 this child most respect, his deceitful mother, oi 
 the honest-deahng stranger? And who will 
 he hereafter most readily believe ? It ought, 
 however, to be remarked, that had the child 
 been properly governed, he would at once, and 
 without a murmur, have taken what his mother 
 presented. It is certainly, however, a suppos- 
 able case, that the child might, after all the 
 arguments of the gentleman, still have refused 
 to do his duty. What course should then be 
 pursued ? Resort to compulsion, but never to 
 deceit. We can not deceive our children with- 
 out seriously injuring them, and destroying our 
 own influence. Frank and open dealing is the 
 only safe policy in family government, as well 
 as on the wider theater of life. The under- 
 hand arts and cunning manceuvers of the in- 
 triguer are sure, in the end, to promote his own 
 overthrow. Be sincere and honest, and you 
 are safe. The only sure way of securing bene- 
 ficial results, is by virtuous and honorable 
 means. 
 
 4. Do not he continually finding fault with 
 your children. It is at times necessary to cen- 
 
132 THE MOTHER AT HOMK. 
 
 sure and to punish. But very much more may 
 be done by encouraging children when they do 
 well. Be therefore more careful to express 
 your approbation of good conduct, than your 
 disapprobation of bad. Nothing can more dis- 
 courage a child than a spirit of incessant fault- 
 finding, on the part of its parent. And hardly 
 any thing can exert a more injurious influence 
 upon the disposition both of the parent and the 
 child. There are two great motives influen- 
 cing human actions ; hope and fear. Both of 
 these are at times necessary. But who would 
 not prefer to have her child influenced to good 
 conduct by the desire of pleasing, rather than 
 by the fear of offending. If a mother never 
 expresses her gratification when her children do 
 well, and is always censuring them when she 
 sees any thing amiss, they are discouraged and 
 unhappy. They feel that it is useless to try to 
 please. Their dispositions become hardened 
 •and soured by this ceaseless fretting ; and at 
 last, finding that, whether they do well or ill, 
 they are equally found fault with, they relin- 
 quish all efforts to please, and become heedless 
 of reproaches. 
 
 But let a mother approve of her child's con- 
 duct whenever she can. Let her show that his 
 good behavior makes her sincerely happy. Let 
 
FAULTS AND ERROES. 133 
 
 her reward him for his efforts to please, by 
 smiles and affection. In this way she will 
 cherish in her child's heart some of the noblest 
 and most desirable feelings of our nature. She 
 will cultivate in him an amiable disposition and 
 a cheerful spirit. Your child has been, during 
 the day, very pleasant and obedient. Just be- 
 fore putting him to sleep for the night, you take 
 his hand and say, " My son, you have been a 
 very good boy to-day. It makes me very 
 happy to see you so kind and obedient. God 
 loves children who are dutiful to their parents, 
 and he promises to make them happy." This 
 approbation from his mother is, to him, a great 
 reward. And when, with a more than ordi- 
 narily affectionate tone, you say, " Good night, 
 my dear son," he leaves the room with his little 
 heart full of feeling. And when he closes his 
 eyes for sleep, he is happy, and resolves that he 
 will always try to do his duty. 
 
 Basil Hall thus describes the effects produced 
 on board ship, by the different modes of gov 
 ernment adopted by different commanders. 
 
 "Whenever one of these commanding offi- 
 cers," speaking of a fault-finding captain, " came 
 on board the ship, after an absence of a day or 
 two, and likewise when he made his periodical 
 round of the decks after breakfast, his constant 
 
134 THE MOTHER AT HOME 
 
 habit was to cast his eye about him, in order to 
 discover what was wrong ; to detect the small- 
 est thing that was out of its place ; in a word, 
 to find as many grounds for censure as possible 
 This constituted, in his opinion, the best pre- 
 ventive to neglect, on the part of those under 
 his command ; and he acted in this crusty way 
 on principle. The attention of the other offi- 
 cer, on the contrary, appeared to be directed 
 chiefly to those points which he could approve 
 of. For instance, he would stop as he wen; 
 along, from time to time, and say to the first 
 lieutenant, ' Now, these ropes are very nicel) 
 arranged ; this mode of stowing the men's bagi 
 and mess kids is just as I wish to see it ;' while 
 the officer first described would not only pass 
 by these well-arranged things, which had cost 
 hours of labor to put in order, quite unnoticed, 
 but would not be easy till his eye had caught 
 hold of some casual omission which affi3rded an 
 opening for disapprobation. 
 
 " One of these captains would remark to '.he 
 first lieutenant, as he walked along, ' How white 
 and clean you have got the decks to-day ! I 
 think- you must have been at them all the morn- 
 ing, to have got them into such order.' The 
 other, in similar circumstances, but eager to 
 find fault, would say, even if the deck« were as 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 135 
 
 white and clean as drifted snow, ' I wish you 
 would teach these sweepers to clear away that 
 bundle of shakings !' pointing to a bit of rope 
 yarn not half an inch long, left under the truck 
 of a gun. It seemed, in short, as if nothing 
 was more vexatious to one of these officers, 
 than to discover things so correct as to afford 
 him no good opportunity for finding fault; 
 while, to the other, the necessity of censuring 
 really appeared a punishment to himself. 
 
 " Under the one, accordingly, we all worked 
 with cheerfulness, from a conviction that noth- 
 ing we did in a proper way would miss appro- 
 bation. 
 
 " But our duty under the other, being per- 
 formed in fear, seldom went on with much spir- 
 it. We had no personal satisfaction in doing 
 th^e things correctly, from the certainty of 
 getting no corrlmendation. 
 
 " The great chance, also, of being censured, 
 even in those cases where we had labored most 
 industriously to merit approbation, broke the 
 spring of all generous exertion, and by teaching 
 us to anticipate blame as a matter of course, 
 defeated the very purpose of punishment when 
 it fell upon us. The case being quite hopeless, 
 the chastisement seldom conduced either to the 
 amendment of ^n offender, or to the prevention 
 
136 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 of offenses. But what seemed the oddest thing 
 of all was, that these men were both as kind- 
 hearted as could be ; or, if there were any dif- 
 ference, the fault-finder was the better natured, 
 and, in matters not professional, the more in- 
 dulgent of the two. 
 
 " The line of conduct I have described was 
 purely a matter of official system, not at all of 
 feeling. Yet, as it then appeared, and still ap- 
 pears to me, nothing could be more completely 
 erroneous than the snarling method of the one, 
 or more decidedly calculated to do good than 
 the approving style of the other. It has, in 
 fact, always appeared to me an absurdity, to' 
 make any real distinction between public and 
 private matters in these respects. 
 
 "Nor is there the smallest reason why the 
 same principle of civility, or considerationT or 
 by whatever name that quality be called, by 
 which the feelings of others are consulted, 
 should not modify professional intercourse quite 
 as much as it does that of the freest society, 
 without any risk that the requisite strictness 
 of discipline would be hurt by an attention to 
 good manner's. 
 
 " The desire of discovering that things are 
 right, and a sincere wish to express our appro- 
 bation, are habits which, in almost every situa- 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 137 
 
 tioii in life, have the best possible effects in 
 practice. 
 
 " They are vastly more agreeable certainly 
 to the superior himself, whether he be the 
 colonel of a regiment, the captain of a ship, or 
 the head of a house ; for the mere act of ap- 
 proving seldom fails to put a man's thoughts 
 into that pleasant train which predisposes him 
 to be habitually pleased, and this frame of mind 
 alone, essentially helps the propagation of a 
 similar cheerfulness among all those who are 
 about him. It requires, indeed, but a very little 
 experience of soldiers or sailors, children, ser- 
 vants, or any other kind of dependents, or even 
 of companions and superiors, to show that this 
 good- humor, on the part of those whom we wish 
 to influence, is the best possible coadjutor to 
 our schemes of management, whatever these 
 may be." 
 
 The judicious bestowal of approbation is of 
 the first importance in promoting obedience, 
 and in cultivating in the bosom of your child 
 affectionate and cheerful feelings. Let your 
 smiles animate your boy's heart, and cheer him 
 on in duty. When he returns from school, 
 with his clothes clean and his countenance hap- 
 py, reward him with the manifestation of a 
 mother's love. This will be the strongest in- 
 
138 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 centive to neatness and care. An English gen- 
 tleman used to encourage his little children to 
 early rising, by calling the one who first made 
 her appearance in the parlor in the morning, 
 Lark. The early riser was addressed by that 
 name during the day. This slight expression 
 of parental approval was found sufficient to call 
 up all the children to the early enjoyment of 
 the morning air. A child often makes a very 
 great effort to do something to merit a smile 
 from its mother. And most bitter tears are 
 frequently shed because parents do not suf- 
 ficiently sympathize in these feelings. 
 
 The enjoyment of many a social circle, and' 
 the disposition of many an affectionate child, 
 are spoiled by unceasing complainings. Sonje 
 persons get into such a habit of finding fault, 
 that it becomes as natural to them as to breathe. 
 Nothing pleases them. In every action, and in 
 every event, they are searching for something 
 to disapprove. Like venomous reptiles, they 
 have the faculty of extracting poison from the 
 choicest blessings. Children are, very much, 
 creatures of sympathy. They form their char- 
 acters from those around them. And we must 
 cherish in our own bosoms those virtues we 
 would foster in theirs. If we would give them 
 calm and gentle and friendly feelings, we must 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS. 139 
 
 first show ihem, by our own example, how val- 
 uable those feelings are. 
 
 5. Never punish by exciting imaginary fears. 
 There is something very remarkable in the uni- 
 versal prevalence of superstition. Hardly an 
 individual is to be found, enlightened or unen- 
 lightened, who is not, in a greater or less de- 
 gree, under the influence of these irrational 
 fears. There is, in the very nature of man, a 
 strong susceptibility of impression upon this 
 subject. A ghost story will be listened to with 
 an intensity of interest which hardly any thing 
 else can awaken. Persons having the care of 
 children, not unfrequently take advantage of 
 this, and endeavor to amuse them by relating 
 these stories, or to govern them by exciting 
 their fears. It surely is not necessary to argue 
 the impropriety of such a course. Every one 
 knows how ruinous must be the result. Few 
 parents, however, practice the caution which 
 is necessary to prevent others from filling the 
 minds of their children with superstition. How 
 often do we find persons who retain through life 
 the influence which has thus been exerted upon 
 them in childhood. It becomes to them a real 
 calamity. Much watchfulness is required to 
 preserve the mind from such injuries. 
 
 There is a mode of punishment, not unfre- 
 
140 THE MOTHER AT HUME. 
 
 quent, which is very reprehensible. A child is 
 shut up in the cellar, or in a dark closet. It is 
 thus led to associate ideas of terror with dark- 
 ness. This effect has sometimes been so pow- 
 erful, that hardly any motive would induce a 
 child to go alone into a dark room. And 
 sometimes even they fear, after they have re- 
 tired for sleep, to be left alone without a light. 
 But there is no difficulty in training up children 
 to be as fearless by night as by day. And you 
 can find many who do not even dream of dan- 
 ger in going anywhere about the house in the 
 darkest night. If you would cultivate this 
 state of mind in your children, it is necessary 
 that you should preserve them from ideas of 
 supernatural appearances, and should never ap- 
 peal to imaginary fears. Train up your chil- 
 dren to be virtuous and fearless. Moral cour- 
 age is one of the surest safeguards of virtue. 
 
 An English writer gives a most appalling ac- 
 count of two instances in which fatal conse- 
 quences attended the strong excitement of fear. 
 Says he, "J knew in Philadelphia, as fine, and 
 as sprightly, and as intelligent a child as ever 
 was born, made an idiot for life, by being, when 
 about three years old, shut into a dark closet by 
 a maid-servant, in order to terrify it into silence. 
 The thoughtless creature first menaced it with 
 
FAULTS AND ERRORS, 141 
 
 sending it to ^ the had place ;' and at last to re- 
 duce it to silence, put it into the closet, shut the 
 door, and went out of the room. She went 
 back in a few minutes, and found the child in a 
 Jit. It recovered from that, but was for life an 
 idiot. When the parents, who had been out 
 two days and two nights on a visit of pleasure, 
 came home, they were told that the child had 
 had a fit, but they were not told the cause. The 
 girl, however, who w^as a neighbor's daughter, 
 being on her death-bed about ten years after- 
 ward, could not die in peace without sending 
 for the mother of the child and asking forgive- 
 ness of her. Thousands upon thousands of 
 human beings have been deprived of their 
 senses by these and similar means. 
 
 " It is not long since that we read, in the news- 
 papers, of a child being absolutely killed — the 
 case occurred at Birmingham, I think, — by be- 
 ing thus frightened. The parents had gone out 
 into what is called an evening party. The ser- 
 vants, naturally enough, had their party at 
 home ; and the mistress, who, by some unex- 
 pected accident, had been brought home at an 
 early hour, finding the parlor full of company, 
 ran up stairs to find her child, which was about 
 two or three years old. She found it with its 
 eyes open, but fixed; touching it, she found 
 
142 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 it inanimate. The doctor was sent for in vain : 
 it was dead. The maid affected to know noth- 
 ing of the cause ; but some one of the parties 
 assembled discovered, pinned up to the cur- 
 tains of the bed, a horrid figure, made up partly 
 of a frightful mask ! This, as the wretched girl 
 confessed, had been done to keep the child quiet 
 while she was with her company below. When 
 one reflects on the anguish that the poor little 
 thing must have endured before the life was 
 quite frightened out of it, one can find no terms 
 sufficiently strong to express the abhorrence due 
 to the perpetrator of this crime, which was, in 
 fact, a cruel murder ; and, if it was beyond the 
 reach of the law, it was so, because, as in the 
 case of parricide, the law in making no pro- 
 vision for wickedness so unnatural, has, out 
 of respect to human nature, supposed such 
 crimes to be impossible." 
 
 I have in this chapter alluded to some of the 
 most common and prominent faults in educa- 
 tion. They can not all, however, be particu- 
 larly mentioned. The faithful mother must 
 have continually a watchful eye ; she must ob- 
 serve the effect of her own practices. She 
 must carefully search out every little defect and 
 trifling error. We must think and observe for 
 ourselves. It is vain to hope to make attain- 
 
FAULTS AND EllRORS. 143 
 
 ment in any thing valuable without effort. The 
 views of others may be of essential aid in laying 
 down general principles, in exciting our own 
 thoughts, and in stimulating us to resolution and 
 fidelity. But after all, unless we are willing to 
 think, ourselves ; to study the dispositions of 
 our children ; to watch the influence of the va- 
 rious motives which we present to their minds, 
 many faults will pass undetected, and we shall 
 lose many advantages that we might otherwise 
 have obtained. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 METHODS AND PLANS. 
 
 In the government of a family, and in the 
 moral and intellectual training of children, there 
 is room for the exercise of a great deal of inge- 
 nuity in the formation of plans for the accom^ 
 plishment of the objects intended, by means 
 more or less indirect, but not the less efficient 
 on that account. I will in this chapter describe 
 some plans of this character by way of illustra- 
 tion of my meaning. 
 
 1. The Black Book. The following plan 
 was once adopted by a gentleman, who was to 
 be absent from home for a week or two, with 
 his wife, leaving two or three children under 
 the care of an aunt. The evening before they 
 w^ent, the gentleman made a small blank book 
 with a thick paper cover. Upon the cover, he 
 made a broad black stripe, and wrote the words 
 BLACK BOOK in Capitals. On the first leaf inside 
 the book, he wrote the following : — 
 
METHODS AND PiiANS. 145 
 
 " DIRECTIONS. 
 
 " Wlien either of the children is guilty of any 
 act of disobedience, neglect of duty, insubor- 
 dination, or contention, or of any other offense, 
 they are to make an entry of the case in this 
 book, at Aunt Maria's direction. If they are 
 ill-humored and sullen about it, then Aunt 
 Maria i§ to make the entry herself, stating the 
 reason why the guilty one did not do it. If, 
 when I come home, I find this book empty, I 
 shall fear that Aunt Maria has not been faithful." 
 
 When the gentleman returned from his jour- 
 ney, he found the following entries made by 
 his children : — 
 
 " To-day James had two recesses, and I was 
 cross about it, and went down stairs before it 
 was time and said it was not right that he 
 should have two recesses and 1 only one. And 
 ^ told Aunt Maria that he ought not to have 
 had but one. Mary." 
 
 " This morning when Aunt Maria was cor- 
 recting my French, I played ; I laid down upon 
 the sofa two or three times, and played with 
 some pens and books, though she asked me not 
 to do so, repeatedly. James." 
 
 K 
 
146 THE MOTHER AT HOiME. 
 
 " To-day when we were coming home from 
 a visit, James and I had a difficulty. I told 
 Aunt Maria something that I did not wish 
 James to know, but he kept teasing me all the 
 time about it ; so I kept telling him to keep 
 still, and told him not to trouble me ; and I felt 
 very unpleasantly about it. Mary." 
 
 * 
 " Yesterday morning when I was getting 
 
 ready to go to Mr. J.'s to make a visit, I made 
 Aunt Maria some difficulty. I kept calling her 
 when she could not come, and made some dif- 
 ficulty about my clothes and other things. 
 
 " James." • 
 
 " This morning Mary came to my desk and 
 took a slate-pencil out of it. I thought she 
 was going to take it away to use, which I 
 thought was wrong, so I told her to go and get 
 her own, and not meddle with my things. 
 
 " James." 
 
 " This afternoon when Mary was swinging, 
 standing up, I went and stood before her. 
 When I did this, she said, 'Stay there, and 
 you will get it presently.' When she came 
 up to me I struck her pretty hard on her foot. 
 Then she said, * Oh, James ! oh, James !' Then 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 147 
 
 I Stopped the swing, and she said that I alnnost 
 pushed her out. James." 
 
 "This morninn: when Aunt Maria had cor- 
 rected my French, she told nne to go to my les- 
 sons, but I did not go. I said that I must put 
 away a newspaper first, then she told me again 
 to go, and I put down the newspaper and went, 
 and sat down at my desk, but instead of study- 
 ing, I began to tell Mary the French names of 
 the days of the week. Then Aunt Maria told 
 me to put it down in the black book for disobe- 
 dience. James." 
 
 " Just now, when we were singing, I lent my 
 book to Aunt Maria, and when I went to get it 
 again, Mary took my place. When I came 
 back I told her to let me have my place, but 
 she told me she should keep it because she 
 wanted to look over. Then I went and asked 
 Aunt Maria if Mary must not let me have my 
 place. At first she said yes, but afterward said 
 that I must change places with her. Then I 
 looked cross and would not sing. James." 
 
 " Yesterday Mary was sitting in mother's 
 low rocking-chair, and I took a rope and tied 
 one of her arms up to the chair and tied the 
 
148 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 other with a piece of white string to another 
 part of the chair. Then Aunt Maria told me 
 she wanted me to go away of an errand to get 
 a dress. Then I asked Mary if she would un- 
 tie herself while I was gone, but she did not an- 
 swer, then I asked her again, but she did not an- 
 swer, so I struck her. Then Aunt Maria told 
 me that I must put it down in the black book. 
 
 " James." 
 
 "Just now when I had learned my Latin 
 lesson I spoke to George, though it was study 
 hours, (for our doors were open) to know how 
 many sheets of paper a large fire-balloon, which 
 they sent up last night at the Museum, was made 
 of, but he did not hear me, so I asked him again. 
 But before he could answer, Aunt Maria came 
 up and told me to put it down here. James." 
 
 " Yesterday when I was throwing sticks at 
 John Harmer, in the street, Nancy told me not 
 to do it, but I kept on throwing them, and told 
 Nancy it would not be her fault if I hit him, 
 and that I wished, she would go home. An- 
 other time I was rolling marbles on the kitchen- 
 floor, and w^ent to one side of the floor to see 
 if I could make them go across. Nancy told 
 me not to do so, but I told her that the kitchen 
 was as much mine as hers, and that I thought 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 140 
 
 she was very cross. This morning Aunt Maria 
 told me to put it down here ; and she told me 
 that if I would ask Nancy tg forgive me, I 
 might put that down too, so I did. James." 
 
 It is very desirable in all government to 
 avoid the infliction of disgrace. When a child 
 loses his self-respect, and feels dishonored, one 
 of the strongest motives to correct conduct 
 is lost. If a child can be induced good-na- 
 turedly, and yet justly to pronounce sentence 
 upon his own conduct, a very powerful influ- 
 ence is brought to bear upon the mind, which 
 is salutary in the highest degree. 
 
 The plan above described, therefore, must 
 have exerted a powerful, and at the same time 
 a. genial and kindly effect upon the hearts of 
 the children who made the entries. 
 
 2. Childrens Journals. — There can be, in 
 fact, no better plan, in family government, than 
 to induce the children to keep a journal in which 
 they shall record such things which they may do 
 that are wrong, as the parent may think that 
 this mode of discipline is adapted to remedy. 
 
 For those children of a family who have suf- 
 flcient age and maturity of mind, the ])lan of 
 writing a full and regular journal of whatever 
 interests and concerns them, and especially of 
 
150 
 
 THE MO I'll ER AT HOME. 
 
 all that relates to their intellectual and moral 
 progress, may well be recommended. Such a 
 journal may assume a great variety of forms- 
 It may be a religious diary. It may be a nar- 
 rative of personal incidents. It may be a record 
 of resolutions made, with an account subse- 
 quently of the manner in which they have been 
 kept. Or it may consist of all these com- 
 bined. 
 
 Even very young children can keep such 
 journals, with a little help and encouragement 
 
 WRITING JOURNALS 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 151 
 
 from the mother. The work must however be 
 managed in such a way as not to be a«burden 
 to thenf. They must not be expected to write 
 too much, or too frequently, or at unseasonable 
 times, when their minds are interested in other 
 things. 
 
 Older children who may attempt such an 
 exercise will be much aided by reading the cel- 
 ebrated essay of John Foster upon one writing 
 memoirs of one's self. He recommends earn- 
 estly to every one, who would become ac- 
 quainted with his own heart, or who would at- 
 tain to excellence of character, to review the 
 path that he has trod in life's pilgrimage, and to 
 record those influences which have guided him 
 this way or that on his journey. No one can 
 thus seriously retrace his steps, without being 
 profoundly impressed with a sense of the dan- 
 gers he has escaped, of the errors and sins into 
 which he has fallen, and of the goodness of 
 God, in rescuing him from so many perils. 
 There can hardly be a more excellent, intellec- 
 tual, and moral exercise, for one who has at- 
 tained maturity of mind, than thus to review 
 the past. 
 
 Louft Philippe, the late King of the French, 
 was, in early life placed under the tuition of 
 Madame de Genlis. She taught her pupil to 
 
152 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 examine his mind and regulate his character by 
 keeping a very minute daily journal. This 
 daily examination was conducted wifh great 
 fidelity, as the following questions which lie 
 every evening answered will testify. 
 
 1. Have I this day fulfilled all my duties 
 toward God, my Creator, and prayed to Him 
 with fervor and affection? 
 
 2. Have I listened with respect and attention 
 to the instructions which have been given me, 
 with regard to my Christian duties, and to the 
 reading of works of piety ? 
 
 3. Have I fulfilled all my duties this day 
 toward those I ought to love most in the 
 world, my father and my mother ? 
 
 4. Have I behaved with mildness, and kind- 
 ness toward my sister and my brothers ? 
 
 5. Have I been docile, grateful, and attentive 
 to my teachers ? 
 
 6. Have I been perfectly sincere to-day, 
 disobeying no one, and speaking evil of no 
 one ? 
 
 7 Have ] been as discreet, prudent, chari- 
 table, modest, and courageous as may be ex- 
 pected at my age ? * 
 
 8. Have I shown no proof of that weakness 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 153 
 
 and efTeminacy which is so contemptible in a 
 man ? 
 
 9. Have I done all the good I could ? 
 
 10. Have I shown all the marks of attention 
 I ought to the persons absent or present, to 
 whom I owe kindness, respect, and affection ? 
 
 Every evening these questions were read to 
 Louis Philippe by his teacher, and he returned 
 an answer to each in his journal. This exer- 
 cise was followed by a season of devotion, in 
 which the young prince sought of God the par- 
 don of his errors, and implored Divine grace 
 and assistance for the future. 
 
 This was the moral and intellectual training 
 
 o 
 
 of a youth of sixteen. In the midst of the 
 most voluptuous court of Europe, surrounded 
 by the most dazzling allurements of gilded vice, 
 with the notorious Duke of Orleans for his 
 father, — young, sanguine, rich, and of exalted 
 birth, protected by this discipline, he moved 
 uncontaminated throuo;h all these dangerous 
 scenes, and through all the temptations and vi- 
 cissitudes of half a century, sustained a char- 
 acter of the most irreproachable and the purest 
 morality. 
 
 The influence of such training must be 
 powerful in the extreme. It is hardly possible 
 
Jr>4 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ibr any young person thus to I'eview at the 
 dose of the day his feelings and his conduct, 
 especially if such a review be connected with 
 confession and prayer, without becoming firmly 
 established in correct principles. Punishment 
 of any kind could hardly be required in a fam- 
 ily where this course was faithfully pursued, by 
 a judicious parent. 
 
 It is said that the distinguished statesman, 
 John Quincy Adams, amid all the pressure of 
 one of the busiest hves thrpugh which man ever 
 passed, found time during the whole period of 
 his life, to keep a journal of all the important 
 events of each day. This journal extended at 
 last to upward of seventy thick quarto volumes. 
 And it was probably to this, more than to any 
 other cause, that he was indebted, for that al- 
 most miraculous amount of information with 
 which his mind was stored. 
 
 3. Mother's Jouj-nals. Besides the journals 
 which children themselves may write, the 
 mother may derive great advantage sometimes 
 from keeping a record of the progress of her 
 children, and the general history of her family. 
 I knew a mother who kept a constant journal 
 of the progress of a beloved child from his ear- 
 liest infancy. She carefully noted down her 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 155 
 
 more important acts of discipline, and observed 
 the effect which her course produced upon the 
 character of her child. With more solicitude 
 and vigilance than the physician watclies the 
 effect of his prescriptions, did she watch the 
 effect of her moral remedies and antidotes. His 
 opening faculties, the developments of his affec- 
 tions, his constitutional temperament, his promi- 
 nent foibles, were made the subject of continued 
 deliberation. They were committed to writing. 
 Thus was this mother gaining information more 
 rapidly than she could possibly gain it in any 
 other way. She was accustoming her own 
 mind to independent investigation and thought. 
 Every day she was gaining knowledge of the 
 effect of different motives upon the mind. 
 And her influence over her child was every day 
 increasing. Now this looks like maternal 
 fidelity. It shows that the mother feels her 
 need of information, and is anxious to acquire 
 it. And it shows that she is willing to make 
 intellectual effort herself, that she may be able 
 to discharge her duties. 
 
 Let an}'^ mother adopt such a course as this, 
 and she must be most rapidly advancing in 
 knowledge of the art of guiding the youthful 
 mind. When her child first manifests irritation, 
 let her write down the course she pursued to 
 
15G THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 allay that irritation, and the succes3 which at- 
 tended her efforts. 
 
 I will give a specimen of what I suppose 
 would be the general character of such a jour- 
 nal. 
 
 " Jan. 10, 1833. To-day Charles became 
 very angry with his sister, and pushed her 
 down. As a punishment, I gave Mary an apple, 
 and gave Charles none. But I thought Charles 
 seemed, instead of being subdued, to be made 
 envious by it, and more vexed with his sister 
 than before. 
 
 " 15. Mary to-day treated her brother un- 
 kindly. I thought I would try a different course 
 from that which I pursued with Charles. I 
 called them both to me and said, 'Mary, God 
 is displeased when he sees you indulging such 
 feelings. And now how can you ask God to- 
 night to take care of you, when you have been 
 disobeying him to-day ?' Having talked with 
 her a little while in this strain, she burst into 
 tearSj and asked her brother's forgiveness. 
 They were soon playing again, as happy and as 
 affectionate as ever. Before Mary went to 
 sleep to-night she asked God's forgiveness, and 
 promised that she would try never to be angry 
 again. I can not but hope that an impression 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 157 
 
 was produced upon both their minds, which 
 will not soon be forgotten. 
 
 " 18. Charles to-day accidentally broke a 
 valuable lamp. I fear that I unjustly blamed 
 him. I must endeavor to have my feelings 
 under more perfect control. 
 
 "22. Mary is beginning to manifest improper 
 fondness for dress. We have had much com- 
 pany lately, and many have spoken to her about 
 her beautiful gown. I must dress her in such 
 a manner that she will not attract attention." 
 • 
 
 If some such course as this is pursued with 
 perseverance, great skill will certainly be ac- 
 quired in the art of governing. The mother 
 must in some way or other direct the energies 
 of her own mind to this subject. She must 
 watch the peculiarities of the dispositions of her 
 children. She must think and experiment for 
 herself. 
 
 After writing the above, the following com- 
 munication was placed in my hand. As it was 
 written by a mother who has long practiced 
 upon the plan here recommended, and who, 
 from her numerous cares might, with more pro- 
 priety than almost any other parent, claim ex- 
 emption from thia duty, I with great pleasure 
 
158 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 insert it. It is the testimony of successful ex- 
 periment. 
 
 " Perhaps to some mothers it may at first 
 appear impossible to carry on, with any degree 
 of system or accuracy, any thing like a regular 
 journal. It is true, that it would at first require 
 some effort ; but if it would aid a mother in 
 discharging her duties, where is the conscien- 
 tious parent who would shrink from such an 
 effort ? There are many benefits to be ex- 
 pected from such a record, and it should per- 
 haps be merely a record or note-book, that it 
 may not encroach too much upon the time, 
 especially in the case of those mothers who are 
 obliged to employ a great proportion of their 
 time in attending to the domestic duties of their 
 families. 
 
 " The first benefit resulting to the mother 
 herself, w^ould be the necessity of making some 
 regular mental effort. A young mother, sur- 
 rounded with family cares and duties, may feel 
 at first as if she had no time for mental and in- 
 tellectual labor ; but ten minutes every day de- 
 voted to such a purpose, would soon convince 
 her that her other duties are probably the better 
 performed for such a diary. Her duties to her 
 children certainly will not be attended to with 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 159 
 
 less interest ; and she is gradually fitting her- 
 self, by such discipline, however trifling, to be 
 their teacher and guide. 
 
 " The habit of keeping such memoranda also 
 induces a mother to look with greater scrutiny 
 into her own motives of action, into her prin- 
 ciples of family government, and to govern her 
 own heart and conduct, and to cultivate more 
 of a spirit which every mother needs — a spirit 
 of prayer. 
 
 " I am confident that, would mothers do 
 this, mutual benefit and assistance would be 
 given to that class of society to whom we must 
 look for much of the future happiness of the 
 community. And many a young parent would 
 feel her hand strengthened and her heart light- 
 ened in the cause of infant instruction. 
 
 " The plan which I would suggest might be 
 something like the following. 
 
 " 1. Notice the earliest developments of tem- 
 per in your child, and give the result of simple 
 experiments made to subdue and conquer it. 
 
 " 2. Remark what things peculiarly interest 
 your child, and describe how you improve the 
 opportunity of giving the child a moral and re- 
 ligious lesson drawn from the object of interest. 
 Show the effect and result of such an impres- 
 sion. 
 
160 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 " Describe the course pursued to insure obe- 
 dience. State the difficulties which vou en- 
 countered, and how they were overcome. 
 
 " 4. Describe the course of first religious in- 
 struction, and what generally excites the strong- 
 est intei'est in your child's mind. 
 
 *' In this way you may assist many a trem- 
 bling mother in doing her duty ; and the result 
 of an experience which perhaps it costs you but 
 a few minutes of time to throw into a suitable 
 form on paper, will, through the pages of some 
 religious magazine, be circulated to the farthest 
 parts of our country, and be exerting a power- 
 ful influence on the hearts of mothers — an ines- 
 timable one on the prospects, both for time and 
 eternity, of the rising generation." 
 
 The following is an extract from such a note- 
 book, kept by a mother, and written without 
 any reference to its insertion here. 
 
 " Perhaps there are few dispositions which 
 require more judicious, firm, and steady man- 
 agement, in a child, than that which is often 
 ranked under obstinacy or stubbornness. There 
 is certainly no fault, which, if neglected, or al- 
 lowed to gain strength, is more likely to bring 
 down the heart of a parent with sorrow to the 
 
METilOi 3 AND PLANS. 161 
 
 grave, and to insure to the cliild a youth and 
 maniiood of wretchedness. It grows with the 
 growth, and strengtliens with the strength. 
 Yet I have heard more than one mother say, 
 ' That child is very obstinate ; he will have his 
 own way, and I suppose he is too young to un- 
 derstand now, aid frequent punishment only 
 hardens the heart.' A child can not be too 
 young to learn ; that is, as soon as a child 
 begins to notice and watch the tones of the 
 voice and the expression of the countenance, it 
 is of an age to receive moral lessons. It is un- 
 doubtedly true, that in administering punish- 
 ment, care should be taken to do it in such a 
 way that it shall tend to soften and subdue the 
 heart, not irritate it. Yet the child must be 
 made to feel that its spirit must 3aeld to pater- 
 nal authority. For instance, your child is play- 
 ing with some forbidden article. You direct 
 him, gently, but firmly, to put it down — he re- 
 fuses. If you rise and take it by force, the 
 child cries — he is vexed and disappointed. In- 
 stead of this, if you say, pointing to the article, 
 You must put it down,' and he refuses, a sec- 
 ond command in the voice of seriousness and 
 authority will seldom fail of insuring obedience. 
 The child should then see an approving look or 
 smile, and if Jaken up and amused by some- 
 
 L 
 
162 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 thing which you are sure will interest him, he 
 will not forget the lesson, particularly if pains is 
 taken to associate the forbidden thing with 
 something which gives him a sensation of 
 pleasure. Return to it and say, ' You must not 
 touch that ; no, no,' and repeat it two or three 
 times. Then give the child something which is 
 not so familiar as to be worthless, and say, 
 'You may have this.' A child often or twelve 
 months may soon be taught, in this way, dis- 
 tinct lessons of obedience. If it refuses to yield, 
 some slight punishment should be inflicted, 
 which shall connect the idea of bodily suffering 
 •or inconvenience ; but care should be after- 
 ward taken to interest the child, and your 
 countenance should evince no anger or irrita- 
 bility. 
 
 " A child of less than three years was often 
 troublesome to his mother, through an unyield- 
 ing disposition which he manifested. He had 
 been severely punished for his fault, though 
 never unless the danger of omitting the punish- 
 ment made the risk to the child's future happi- 
 ness very great. Once, after a very decided 
 case of obstinacy had occurred, it became ne- 
 cessary to punish him. After it was over, he 
 said he was not sorry for the fault. He had 
 never been shut up in the dark, as a punish- 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 163 
 
 ment, because with very young children the 
 consequences of such a measure are sometimes 
 hazardous ; but it was known that in this case 
 the child was not afraid; and I desired to 
 know the effect of it, in connection with re- 
 ligious considerations. The following experi- 
 ment was tried, and the conversation is here 
 precisely as it occurred. 
 
 " Mother. I am sorry you are so naughty. I 
 must put you into a dark closet, where nobody 
 can see you. 
 
 " Child. Speaking very deliberately, — I 
 don't want to get up and be good. 
 
 " I kept my word and put him in the closet, 
 saying at the same time, * When you are a good 
 boy, you may call me, and I will open the door ; 
 but till then you must be quiet, and not touch 
 any thing.' He remained perfectly still more 
 than ten minutes, then knocked loudly on the 
 door. 
 
 " Mother. Are you good now ? 
 
 ■' Child. Not if I come out there. 
 
 " Mother. What are you knocking for ? 
 
 " Child. I want to get out. 
 
 *' Mother. If you are good, I will open the 
 door; but you have been very naughty, and 
 troubled me. Are you going to be good ? 
 
164 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ''Child. No; I an't good and sorry — I don't 
 want to come out. 
 
 " Mother. I am very sorry that my little boy 
 is naughty. He is in the closet, where it is 
 very dark, and mother can not see him, but God 
 can see him. God is displeased with you. I 
 want you to think of that. Can you think of 
 God, and ask him to take care of you, while 
 you are so cross and ill-humored ? 
 
 " He was still for about a minute, and then 
 said, ia a pleasant subdued tone, ' I am good 
 now, mamma.' He came out, made every proper 
 concession and acknowledgment, and then 
 went to his play, as if nothing had occurred to 
 disturb his tranquillity. I have not the least 
 doubt that this occurrence will have a strong 
 and lasting impression, and save a mother's 
 heart many a pang in time to come, and pre- 
 vent the necessity of severe punishment." 
 
 There is an impression upon the minds of 
 many persons, that skill in governing must be 
 instinctive; that it is an original and native 
 talent, and not to be acquired by information or 
 thought. But look at those parents who have 
 been most successful in family government, and 
 they will be found to be those who have most 
 diligently and uniformly attended to the sub- 
 
METHODS AND PLANS. 165 
 
 ject. You may go into the family of some man 
 of celebrity, in one of the learned professions, 
 and, as you look upon his lawless children, you 
 are perhaps discouraged. You say, if this man. 
 with his powerful and highly cultivated mind, 
 can not succeed in family government, how 
 can I expect success ? But a little observation 
 will satisfy you that this man is giving his time 
 and attention to other pursuits. He is neglect- 
 ing his children, and they are forming precisely 
 such characters as we should expect from the 
 influences to which they are exposed. 
 
 No course of procedure, without the blessing 
 of God, will result in the piety of the child. 
 But if we go on in our attempts to govern with- 
 out system, or thought, or care, we shall un- 
 doubtedly reap most bitter consequences. The 
 mother must study her duty. She must care- 
 fully observe the effect produced by her mode 
 of discipline. There is but little advantage to 
 be derived from books, unless we revolve their 
 contents in our own minds. Others may sug- 
 gest the most valuable ideas. But we must take 
 those ideas and dwell upon them, and trace out 
 their effects, and incorporate them into our own 
 minds by associating them with others of our 
 own. We must accustom ourselves to investi- 
 gation and thought. The mother who will do 
 
166 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 this, will most certainly grow in wisdom. She 
 will daily perceive that she is acquiring more 
 facility in forming in her child the character 
 she desires. And the increasing obedience and 
 affection that she will receive, will be her con- 
 stant reward. Care and labor are necessary 
 in training up a family. But no other cares are 
 rewarded with so rich a recompense ; no other 
 labors insure such permanent and real enjoy- 
 ment. . You, O mothers, have immortal souls 
 intrusted to your keeping. Their destiny is in 
 a great degree in your hands. Your ignorance 
 or unfaithfulness may be the means of sinking 
 them to the world of woe. Your fidelity, by 
 the blessing of God, may elevate them to the 
 mansions of heaven. You and your children 
 may soon be ranging with angel wings to realms 
 of blest spirits, if, here, you are faithful in 
 prayer and effort to train them up for heaven. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 K E L I G I O U S I N S T E U C T I O N. 
 
 In the religions instruction of children the 
 following important principles must be kept 
 in mind: — 
 
 1. Parents rmist make the religious train- 
 ing of their children their own jpersonal duty. 
 Yery great success has attended the efforts 
 which have been made to collect children in 
 Sabbath schools for religious instruction. Ma- 
 ternal associations have been of inestimable 
 value. But nothing can supersede the neces- 
 sity of effort and instruction at the fire-side. 
 The mother must collect her little flock around 
 her and take upon herself the responsibility 
 of their religious education. She may find en- 
 joyment and improvement in associating with 
 others for prayer ; and if she be faithful, she 
 will see that her children are punctual attend- 
 ants of the Sabbath school. But she will not 
 regard these as exonorating herself in the least 
 
108 TIIH MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 degree from responsibility. The influence of 
 Sabbath-schools has undoubtedly tended to 
 awaken more general interest at home in behalf 
 of the spiritual welfare of children. Still there 
 is danger that some parents may feel that the 
 responsibility is transferred from themselves to 
 the Sabbath-school teachers ; and that they ac- 
 complish their duty in seeing that their children 
 are punctually at school v/ith their lessons well 
 committed. It is, however, of the first im- 
 portance that homiC should be the sanctuary of 
 religious instruction. The mother must be the 
 earnest and affectionate guide to the Savior. 
 She must take her little ones by the hand and 
 lead them in the paths of piety. 
 
 No one else can possibly have the influence 
 which a mother may possess, or the facilities 
 which she enjoys. She knows the various 
 dispositions of her children ; their habits of 
 thought ; their moods of mind. Thus can she 
 adapt instruction to their wants. She alone 
 can improve the numberless occurrences which 
 open the mind for instruction, and give it sus-- 
 ceptibility to religious impression. She is with 
 them when they are in sickness or pain. She' 
 can take advantage of the calm of the morn- 
 ing, and of the solemn stillness of the evening. 
 In moments of sadness she can point their 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 1G9 
 
 minds to brighter worlds, and to more satisfying 
 joys. God has conferred upon the mother ad- 
 vantages wliich no one else can possess. With 
 these advantages he has connected responsibih'- 
 ties which can not be laid aside, or transferred 
 to another. It is at home, therefore and by 
 the parents, that the great duty of religious ed- 
 ucation must be chiefly performed. The quiet 
 fireside is the most sacred sanctuary ; maternal 
 affection is the most eloquent pleader, and an 
 obedient child is the most promising subject of 
 religious impressions. Let mothers feel this as 
 they ought, and they will seldom see their chil- 
 dren leave the paternal roof with their hearts 
 unfortified with Christian principles and sincere 
 piety. 
 
 2. Parents must have deep devotional feel- 
 ings themselves. It is certainly vain to hope 
 that you can induce your children to fix their 
 affections upon another world, while yours are 
 fixed upon this. Your example in such a case 
 will counteract all the influence of your instruc- 
 tions. Unless Christian feelings animate your 
 heart, it is folly to expect that you can instill 
 those principles into the hearts of your children. 
 They will imitate your example. They confide 
 in your guidance. That little child which God 
 has given you, and which is so happy in your 
 
170 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 aflection, feels safe in cherishing those feelings 
 which it sees that you are cherishing. And, 
 mother ! can you look upon your confiding 
 child and witness all her fond endearments and 
 warm embraces, and not feel remorse in the 
 consciousness that your example is leading her 
 away from God, and consigning her to cease- 
 less sorrow ? 
 
 You love your child. Your child loves you, 
 and can not dream that you are abusing its con- 
 fidence, and leading it in the paths of sin and 
 destruction. How would it be shocked in be- 
 ing told that its mother is the cruel betrayer of 
 its eternal happiness ! You are wedded to the 
 world. You have not given your heart to God. 
 Not content with being the destroyer of your 
 own soul, you must carry with you to the world 
 of woe, the child who is loving you as its mother 
 and its friend. O there is an aggravation of 
 cruelty in this which can not be described. 
 One would think that every smile which you 
 see upon the face of your child would disturb 
 your peace ; that every proof of its affection 
 would pierce your heart; that remorse would 
 keep you awake at midnight, and embitter every 
 hour. The murderer of the body can scarce 
 vv'ithstand the stings of conscience. But, O 
 unchristian mother ! you are the destroyer of 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 171 
 
 the soul. And of whose soul ? The soul of 
 your own confiding child. 
 
 We can not speak less plainly- on this topic. 
 We plead the unparalleled wrongs of children, 
 betrayed by a mother's smile and a mother's 
 kiss. Satan led Adam from Paradise. Judas 
 betrayed his Master. But here we see a mother 
 leading her child,, her own immortal child, far 
 from God and peace, to the rebellion of world- 
 liness and the storms of retribution. That little 
 child following in your footsteps, is the heir of 
 eternity. It is to survive the lapse of all com 
 ing years ; to emerge from the corruptions of 
 the grave ; to expand in spiritual existence, 
 soaring in the angel's lofty flight, or groping in 
 the demon's gloom. Thou, O mother ! art its 
 guide to immortality ; to heaven's green pas- 
 tures, or to the dreary wastes of despair. If 
 you go on in impenitence and sin, your child, in 
 all probability, will go with you. 
 
 We have heard of a child, upon her dying 
 bed, raising her eyes to her parents and ex- 
 claiming, in bitterness of spirit, " O my parents ! 
 you never told me of death, or urged me to pre- 
 pare for it ; and now," said she, bursting into 
 an agony of tears, " I am dying, and my soul is 
 lost." She died. Her sun went down in dark- 
 ness. What were the feelings of those parents ! 
 
172 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 What agony must have rent their bosoms! How 
 must the specter of their ruined daughter have 
 pursued them in all the employments of the day, 
 and disturbed their slumbers by night. 
 
 Remember that though you should be separ- 
 ated from your children by death, you must 
 meet them again. The trump of judgment wil 
 summon you to the bar of Christ. How fruit- 
 less would be the attempt to describe your feel- 
 ings there, if it should prove that you had been 
 their destroyer. 
 
 " That awful day will surely come ; 
 The appointed hour makes haste." 
 
 Death is succeeded by judgment, and judgment 
 by eternity. If you are the destroyer of your 
 child, through eternity you must bear its re- 
 proaches. You must gaze upon the wreck of 
 its immortal spirit, while conscience says that, 
 if you had been faithful, yourself and your child 
 might have been reposing in heaven. 
 
 Think not you can go in one path, and in- 
 duce your child to w^alk in another. You 
 must not only '•' point to heaven," but "lead the 
 way." The first thing to be done, is for a 
 mother to give her own heart to God. Become 
 a Christian yourself, and then you may hope 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 173 
 
 for God's blessing upon your efforts to lead your 
 child to the Savior. We do entreat every 
 mother who reads these pages, as she values her 
 own happiness and the happiness of her chil- 
 dren, immediately to surrender her heart to 
 God. Atoning blood has removed every diffi- 
 culty from the way. The Holy Spirit is ready, 
 in answer to y^ur prayers, to grant you all 
 needful assistance. Every hour that you neg- 
 lect this duty, you are leading your children 
 farther from God, and rendering the prospect 
 of their return more hopeless. 
 
 It is in vain to expect that you can do any 
 thing effectual to v/in the soul of your child to 
 God, without possessing sincere piety yourself 
 The mother who endeavors to impress her chil- 
 dren with a feeling of gratitude to God, be- 
 cause she coldly thinks it her duty, will fail. 
 Instead of gratitude, she will excite only weari- 
 ness and loathing. But if the feeling itself 
 glows in her heart, it will readily kindle up in 
 theirs. 
 
 Perhaps some of the parents who may read 
 this volume are unreconciled to God themselves. 
 They have children w-hom they are commanded 
 to bring up to piety. If sincere and devoted 
 piety in the parent is an indispensable requisite, 
 svhat shall they do ? It is a hard question — a 
 
174 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 very hard case. An individual is placed in this 
 world of probation, and God says to him or to 
 her, " Come, and be mine, and in a few years I 
 will call you to a home of perpetual peace and 
 happiness." The beings thus invited hesitate, — 
 look upon the world — upon heaven, — ^linger a 
 little, and then decide against God, and begin 
 to walk deliberately on in the downward road. 
 They have proceeded for some distance on this 
 awful descent, when a helpless dependent one 
 is committed to their care. They take him by 
 the hand, and lead him on. He knows not 
 whither he is going. He loves his parents — 
 confides in them — and believes fully that they 
 can not lead him into any danger. He clings, 
 therefoje, closely to them, and walks heedlessly 
 on. But the parents feel not entirelj^ at ease ; 
 a mother can not, under such circumstances^ 
 if she at all understands the case. They ac- 
 cordingly hesitate a moment in their course 
 and then try to send back their child. They 
 give it religious instruction — they teach it the 
 Bible, and send it to the Sabbath-school, in 
 hopes that it will be prevailed upon to return, 
 while they go forward in the road to ruin. 
 What madness! Seek God yourself, and your 
 child may perhaps accompany you. But you 
 can not expect that he will enter the ''strait 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 175 
 
 gate," while you are going on in the broad 
 way. 
 
 3, Present religion in a pleasant aspect. 
 There is no real enjoyment without piety. 
 The tendency of reh'gion is to make us happy 
 here and hereafter ; to divest the mind of gloom, 
 and fill it with joy. Many parents err in this 
 respect. They dwell too much upon the ter- 
 rors of the law. They speak with countenances 
 saddened and gloomy. Religion becomes to 
 the child an unwelcome topic, and is regarded 
 as destructive of happiness. The idea of God 
 is associated with gloom and terror. Many pa- 
 rents have, in their latter years, become con- 
 vinced of the injudiciousness of the course that 
 they have pursued in this respect, — finding that 
 they have so connected religious considerations 
 with melancholy countenances and mournful 
 tones of voice, as to cause the subject to be 
 unnecessarily repugnant. 
 
 We may, indeed, err upon the other extreme. 
 The nature of sin, and the justice of God, and 
 the awful penalty of his law, should be dis- 
 tinctly exhibited. The child should be taught 
 to regard God as a being who, while he loves 
 his creatures, can not look upon sin but with 
 abhorrence. If we speak to children simply 
 of the Creator's goodness, as manifested in the 
 
176 THE MOT.HER AT HOME.. 
 
 favors we are daily receiving, an erroneous inD- 
 pression of God's character will be conveyed. 
 It is to be feared that many deceive themselves 
 in thinking that they love God. They have in 
 their minds a poetic idea of an amiable and 
 sentimental being, vt^hose character is composed 
 of fondness and indulgence. Such persons are 
 as far from worshiping the true God, as is the 
 Indian devotee or the sensual Moslem. God 
 must be represented as he has exhibited him- 
 self to us in the Bible and in the works of na- 
 ture. He is a God of mercy and of justice. 
 He is a God of love ; and he is also a consum- 
 ing fire. He is to be regarded with our w^arm- 
 est affection, and also with reverence and godly 
 fear. Let, therefore, children distinctly under- 
 stand that sin can not pass unpunished. But 
 they should also understand that judgment is 
 God's strange work. Ordinarily speak of his 
 goodness. Show his readiness to forgive. Ex- 
 cite the gratitude of the child by speaking of the 
 joys of heaven. Thus let the duties of religion 
 ever be connected with feelings of enjoyment 
 and images of happiness, that the child may 
 perceive that gloom and sorrow are connected 
 only v^^ith disobedience and irreligion. Tnere 
 is enough in the promised joys of heaven to 
 rouse a child's most animated feelings. This 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 177 
 
 subject has more to cheer the youthful heart 
 than any other which can be presented. Ap- 
 peal to gratitude. Excite hope. Speak of the 
 promised reward. Thus may you most reason- 
 ably hope to lead your child to love its Maker, 
 and to live for heaven. Reserve the terrors 
 of the law for solemn occasions, when you may 
 produce a deep and abiding impression. If you 
 are continually introducing these motives, the 
 mind becomes hardened against their influence ; 
 religion becomes a disagreeable topic, and the 
 inveteracv of sin is confirmed. 
 
 Besides its influence upon the minds of our 
 children, the eflect upon our own minds of 
 taking cheerful views of the providence and 
 government of God will be most salutary. We 
 must at all times remember that promotion of 
 liappiness, is the great object which God has 
 in view in all his operations. For this he made 
 men free ; for this he gave his law. Every 
 sorrow Vv^hich is sent to the human heart is sent 
 in love, to promote real and permanent enjoy- 
 ment. God never willindv afllicts. When 
 the heart is crushed with the heaviest weight 
 of suffering, the voice of God declares, that 
 this suffering is the means which he is using, 
 to banish sorrow forever, and to fill the heart 
 w'th joy. Yes ! God loves happiness, and is 
 
 M 
 
178 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 employed at all times and in every part of the 
 universe, in adopting those plans which to him 
 seem most effectual for the fulfillment of his 
 benevolent designs. 
 
 4. Improve appropriate occasions. We all 
 know that with every child there are times 
 when we find in them a peculiar tenderness of 
 conscience and susceptibility of impression. 
 Changes of mood in fact come over the minds 
 of all, and sometimes from unaccountable 
 causes. One day the Christian will feel a 
 warmth of devotional feeling and elevation of 
 spiritual enjoyment, which the next day he in 
 vain endeavors to attain. The man whose 
 affections are fixed upon the world, at one time 
 will be almost satisfied with the pleasures that 
 he is gathering. The world looks bright; hope 
 is animated ; and he rushes on with new vigor 
 in his delusive pursuits. The next day all his 
 objects of desire appear like perfect shadows. 
 He feels the heartlessness of his pleasures ; his 
 spirit is sad within him ; and he is almost re- 
 solved to be a Christian. With these changes 
 nearly all are familiar. Sometimes they may 
 be accounted for from known external causes. 
 At other times the causes elude our search. 
 
 A mother should ever be watchful to improve 
 such occasions. When she sees her child with 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 179 
 
 aQ unusually tender spirit, with a pensive coun- 
 tenance and subdued feelinc-s — let her then 
 look to God in fervent prayer, and with all the 
 persuasions of a mother's love endeavor to 
 guide her child to the Savior. When the mind 
 is in such a state as this, it is prepared for re- 
 ligious instruction. It then can be made to 
 feel how heartless are all joys but those of piety. 
 Its hold upon the world is loosened, and it may 
 more easily be led to wander in those illimit- 
 able regions where it may hereafter find its 
 home. O how sweet a pleasure it is to present 
 the joys of religion to a child whose feelings 
 are thus chastened; to behold the tear of feel- 
 ing moistening its eye ; to see its little bosom 
 heaving with the new emotions which are 
 rising there ! If there be a joy on earth, it 
 is to be found in such a scene as this. The 
 happy mother thus guiding the young immortal 
 to its heavenly home, experiences a rapture of 
 feeling which the world knoweth not of. Such 
 occasions are not unfrequently arising, and the 
 mother should endeavor always to have her 
 heart warm with love to Christ, that in such 
 an hour she may communicate the warmth of 
 this affection to the bosom of her child. 
 
 There are certain seasons also which are 
 peculiarly appropriate for guiding the thoughts 
 
180 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 to heaven. Our feelings vary with scenes 
 around us. Upon some dark and. tempestuous 
 night you lead your little son to his chamber. 
 The rain, beats violently upon the windows. 
 The wind whistles around the corners of the 
 dwelling. All without is darkness and gloom. 
 The mind of the child is necessarily affected by 
 this rage of the elements. You embrace the 
 opportunity to inculcate a lesson of trust in God. 
 " My son," you say, " it is God who causes this 
 wind to blow, and the rain to fall. Neither 
 your father nor I can make the storm cease, 
 or increase its violence. If God wished to do 
 so, he could cause the wind to blow with such 
 fury as to beat in all the windows and destroy 
 the house. But God will take care of you, my 
 son, if you sincerely ask him. No one else can 
 take care of you. I hope that you w^ill pray 
 that God will protect you, and your father, and 
 me, to-night. When God commands, the storm 
 will cease. The clouds will disappear ; all will 
 be calm. And the bright moon and twinkling 
 stars will shine out again." 
 
 In some such manner as this the child may 
 be taught his entire dependence upon God. 
 And under such instructions he can not fail of 
 obtaining a deep impression of the power of his 
 Maker. You may say that God is omnipotent, 
 
ri:ligious instruction. 181 
 
 and it will produce but a feeble impression. 
 But point to some actual exhibition of God's 
 power, and the attention is arrested, and the 
 truth is felt. When the mother leaves the 
 room, and her son remains alone and in dark- 
 ness, listening to the roar of the storm, will 
 not his mind be expanded with new ideas 
 of the greatness and the power of his Ma- 
 ker? Will he not feel that it is a fearful 
 thing to offend such a being ? And if he has 
 been rightly instructed to place his trust in 
 God, the agitation of the elements will not 
 trouble the serenity of his heart. He will feel 
 that with God for his protector, he need fear 
 no evil. Some such simple occurrence as 
 this may often be improved to produce an im- 
 pression which never can be forgotten. Such 
 thoughts as these, introduced to the mind of a 
 child, will enlarge its capacities, give it maturi- 
 ty, lead it to reflection, and, by the blessing of 
 God, promote its eternal well-being. One such 
 transient incident has a greater effect than hours 
 of ordinary religious conversation. 
 
 One of the most important duties of the mother 
 is to watch for such occasions and diligently to 
 iinprone them. Any parent who is faithful will 
 find innumerable opportunities which will ena- 
 ble her to come into almost immediate contact 
 
182 THE MOTHER AT HOMfc^.. 
 
 with the heart of her child. The hour of sick- 
 ness comes. Your little daughter is feverish 
 and restless upon her pillow. You bathe her 
 burning brow and naoisten her parched tongue, 
 and she hears your prayer that she may be re- 
 stored to health. At length the fever subsides. 
 She awakes from refreshing sleep, relieved from 
 pain. You tell her then, that if God had not 
 interposed, her sickness Vv^ould have increased 
 till she had died. By pointing her attention to 
 this one act of kindness in God, which she can 
 see and feel, you may excite emotions of sin- 
 cere gratitude. You may thus lead her to real 
 grief that she should ever disobey her heavenly 
 Father. 
 
 A child in the neighborhood dies. Your 
 daughter accompanies you to the funeral. She 
 looks upon the lifeless corpse of her little com- 
 panion. And shall a mother neglect such an 
 opportunity to teach her child the meaning of 
 death ? When your daughter retires to sleep 
 at night, she will most certainly think of her 
 iiiend who has died. As you speak to her of 
 the eternal world to which her friend has gone 
 — of the judgment-seat of Christ — of the new 
 scenes of joy or woe upon which she has en- 
 tered, will not her youthful heart feel ? And 
 will not tears of sympathy fill her eyes ? And 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTIOIV. 183 
 
 as you tell your daughter that she too soon 
 must die ; leave all her friends ; appear before 
 Christ to be judged ; and enter upon eternal ex- 
 istence ; will not the occurrence of the day give 
 a reality and an effect to your remarks which 
 will long be remembered ? There are few chil- 
 dren who can resist such appeals. The Savior, 
 who took little children in his arms and blessed 
 them, will not despise this day of small things, 
 but wnll cherish the feelings thus excited, and 
 streno-then the feeble resolve. We have ever'*^ 
 encouragement to believe that God, who is more 
 ready to give his Holy Spirit to them that ask 
 him, than a mother to feed her hungry child, 
 will accompany these efforts with his blessing. 
 
 A father once led his little daughter into the 
 graveyard, to sh(3w her the grave of a play- 
 mate, who, a few days before, had been con- 
 signed to her cold and narrow bed. The little 
 girl looked for some moments in silence and 
 sadness upon the fresh mound, and then looking 
 up, said, " Papa, I now know what is meant by 
 the hymn, 
 
 ' I, in the buryiiig-place, may see, 
 Graves shorter there tlian I.' 
 
 " My grnve would be longer than this." Tliis 
 dear little child now lies bv the side of tli;it 
 
184 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 grave. But her parents can smile through their 
 tears, as they believe that her spirit is in 
 heaven. It is by introducing children to such 
 scenes, and seizing upon such occasions, that 
 we may most successfully inculcate lessons of 
 piety. One such incident enters more deeply 
 into the heart than volumes of ordinary conver- 
 sation. 
 
 You are perhaps riding with your son. It is 
 a lovely summer's morning. The fields lie 
 spread before you in beauty. The song of the 
 
 
 THE VIEW 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 185 
 
 bird is heard. All nature seems uttering a 
 voice of gladness. As you ascend some emi- 
 nence which gives you a commanding view of 
 all the varied beauties of the scene; of hill and 
 valley, rivulet and forest, of verdant pastures 
 and lowing herds, can you fail to point the at- 
 tention of your son to these beauties, an ! from 
 them to lead his mind to Him whose word 
 called them all into being? May you not thus 
 most effectually carry his thoughts a-way to 
 heaven ? May you not lead his mind to the 
 green pastures and the still waters, where there 
 is sweet repose forever? May you not intro- 
 duce him to that kind Sliepherd, who there 
 protects his flock, gathering his lambs in his 
 a' ms, and folding them in his bosom ? May not 
 a mother's or a father's tongue here plead with 
 an eloquence unknovv'n in the pulpit ? 
 
 By carefully improving such occasions as 
 these, you may produce an impression upon the 
 mind, which all future years can not remove. 
 You may so intimately connect devotiona 
 feelings with the ever- varying events and 
 changing scenes of life, that every day's occur- 
 rences will lead the thoughts of your child to 
 God. The raging storm ; tiie liour of sickness ; 
 the funeral procession ; the tolling bell, will, in 
 all after-life, carry back his thoughts to a 
 
186 THE MOTHER AT iluME. 
 
 mother's instructions and prayers. Should 
 your son hereafter be a wanderer from home, 
 as he stands upon the Alps, or rides upon the 
 ocean, his mind will involuntarily be carried to 
 Him who rules the waters and who built the 
 hills. With all those occasions then, which 
 produce so vivid an effect upon the mind, en- 
 deavor to connect views of God and heaven. 
 
 I can never forget the impression produced 
 upon my own mind by a very simple remark, 
 which, under ordinary circumstances, would 
 not have been remembered an hour. It affords 
 so good an illustration of the principle which 
 we are now considering, as to overcome the re- 
 luctance which I feel in appealing to personal 
 experience. One day, in the very early stages 
 of my childhood, my father gave me a little ball 
 covered with leather, such as boys usually play 
 with. Saturday morning, while playing with 
 it at school, it was accidentally thrown over 
 the fence and lost. We searched for it a long 
 time in vain. The loss to me was as severe 
 as it would be for a man to part with half his 
 fortune. I went home and unbosomed my 
 grief to my mother. She endeavored to console 
 me, but with what effect 1 can not now remem- 
 ber. The next day was the Sabbath. I pass- 
 ed the dav with more than ordinary propriety 
 
KELIGIUUS iNSTiaJUTloN. 
 
 187 
 
 My customary SabKath hymn was perfectlv 
 
 committed. Seat- 
 
 eil in my little 
 
 chair by the fire, 
 
 I passed a quiet 
 
 and happy day in 
 
 reading, and in the 
 various duties ap- 
 propriate to holy 
 time. My conduct 
 was such as to 
 draw expressions 
 of approbation 
 from my parents, 
 as with a peaceful 
 
 heart I bade them good night, to retire to rest. 
 The next day, as usual, I went to school. The 
 lost ball occupied my mind as I walked along. 
 Upon climbing over the fence into the field 
 where I had so long and so fruitlessly searched 
 on the preceding Saturday, almost the first ob- 
 ject upon which my eye fell was the ball par- 
 tially concealed by a stone. Child as I was, 
 my joy was very great. At noon I ran hastily 
 home to inform my mother, knowing that she 
 would rejoice with me over my recovered treas- 
 ure. After sympathizing with me in my child- 
 ish happiness, she remarked that Sir Matthew" 
 
 MY LITTLE CHAIR. 
 
188 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Hale had said that he never passed the Sabbath 
 well without being prospered the succeeding 
 week. " You remember, my son," she contin- 
 ued, " that you were a good boy yesterday. 
 This shows you, that if you would be happy 
 and prosperous, you must remember the Sab- 
 bath day, and keep it holy." Whether this re- 
 mark be without exception true, it is not in 
 place now to inquire. That it generally is true, 
 but few will doubt. But the remark in the 
 connection in which it was made, produced an 
 impression upon my mind which will never be 
 eiFaced. All the other events of that early pe- 
 riod have long since perished from my memo- 
 ry ; but this remains fresh and prominent. Of- 
 ten has it led me to the scrupulous observance 
 of the Sabbath — even to the present day I can 
 distinctly perceive its influence. The connec- 
 tion in my mind between God's blessing and 
 the observance of the Sabbath is so intimate 
 that scarcely does a Sabbath morning arrive 
 in which it is not involuntarily suggested. 
 Probably every reader can recall to mind some 
 similar occurrence which has fixed an indelible 
 impression upon his mind. If a mother will be 
 ever vigilant to improve such opportunities, 
 she will make her instructions far more eflfect- 
 ive than they otherwise would be, and alto- 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 189 
 
 gether avoid the danger of making religion a 
 wearisome and unpleasant topic. 
 
 There is hardly any person so reckless of 
 eternity, so opposed to piety, who will not at 
 times listen to religious conversation. A Chris- 
 tian gentleman was once a passenger on board 
 a vessel where his ears were frequently pained 
 by the profane language of a rude and boister- 
 ous cabin-boy. He resolved to watch for some 
 opportunity to converse with him. One eve- 
 ning the gentleman w'as lying, wrapped in his 
 cloak, upon the quarter-deck, with a coil of 
 ropes for his pillow, enjoying the beauties of 
 ocean scenery. A gentle breeze was swelHng 
 the sails and bearing the ship rapidly over the 
 undulating waters. The waves were glittering 
 with their phosphorescent fires, and reflected 
 from innumerable points the rays of the moon. 
 Not a cloud obscured tfie thousands of lights 
 which were hung out in " nature's grand ro- 
 tunda." The cabin-boy happened to be em- 
 ployed in adjusting some ropes near the place 
 where the gentleman w^as reclining in the rich 
 enjoyment of his wandering thoughts. A few 
 words of conversation first passed between 
 thom, upon some ordinary topic. The atten- 
 ti' n of the boy was then, by an easy transition, 
 d ected to the stars. He manifested increas- 
 
190 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ing interest, as some simple but striking re- 
 marks were made upon the facts wiiich as- 
 tronomy has taught us. From this the mind 
 of the boy was led to heaven. He stood gazing 
 upon the stars, as the gentleman spake of the 
 world of glory and the mansions which Christ 
 has gone to prepare. He listened with subdued 
 feelings and breathless attention, as the con- 
 versation unfolded to him the awful scene of 
 judgment. By this time his mind was prepared 
 for direct allusion to his own sins. He was 
 attentive and respectful, while he was kindly 
 but most earnestly entreated to prepare to meet 
 Christ in judgment. The effect produced upon 
 the mind of this wicked lad was evidently most 
 powerful. Whether it were lasting or not, the 
 gentleman had no opportunity to ascertain. 
 But by taking advantage of the stillness of the 
 evening, and the impressiveness of the scene, 
 the turbulent spirit of that boy was, for the 
 time at least, quelled. Religious instruction 
 was communicated to his willing mind. And 
 probably he will often, while a wanderer upon 
 the ocean, gaze upon the stars in his midnight 
 watches, and think of judgment and of heaven. 
 How often can a mother seize upon some 
 similar occasion, and instruct, while at the same 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 191 
 
 time she most deeply interests and most efTec- 
 tually impresses the mind of her child ! 
 
 5, Avoid introducing religious suhjects upon 
 inapjn'opriate occasions. There are times 
 when serious injury is done by urging the claims 
 of religion. Your child is angry. His flushed 
 cheek and violent motions show the sinful irri- 
 tation of his mind. Shall the mother now con- 
 verse with him upon the wickedness of these 
 feelings and God's displeasure ? No ! It is 
 unseasonable. It would be as unavailing as to 
 converse with a madman, or one intoxicated. 
 Punish him for his irritation in some way which 
 will soothe his feelings and lead him to reflec- 
 tion. But wait till these passions have sub- 
 sided before you attempt to reason with him 
 upon their impropriety, and to lead him to 
 evangelical repentance. Kneel by his bedside 
 in the silence of his chamber, and in the pensive 
 hour of evening. When his mind is cahn, and 
 passion is not triumphing over reason, he will 
 hear you, and may be melted to contrition. 
 When Peter denied his Master, he did it with 
 cursing and swearing. But when his fears had 
 subsided, and the hour of reflection came, with 
 a sad heart he entered the hall of Pilate. Then 
 did a single glance from the Savior pierce his 
 heart, " and he went out and wept bitterly." 
 
192 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 A child is highly excited with pleasurable 
 emotions. His attention is so highly engrossed 
 by the immediate object of his enjoyment, that 
 it is almost impossible to draw his thoughts to 
 any other subject. If, under these circum- 
 stances, an effort is made to convince him of 
 the uncertainty of human enjoyments, of his 
 own sinfulness, of the need of a Savior, the ef- 
 fort will not only, in all probability, be unavail- 
 ing, but the subject will be so unwelcome as to 
 excite disgust. There are times when the mind 
 is prepared with gratitude to receive religious 
 instruction. Let such occasions be improved. 
 There are others when the mind is so manifestly 
 engrossed in one all-absorbing subject, that it is 
 in vain to present any other. If you would not 
 connect religion with unpleasant associations, 
 and excite repugnance, do not on such occa- 
 sions obtrude this subject. 
 
 If a gunner should enter a forest and walk 
 along loading and firing at random, he might 
 accidentally get some game, but most assuredly 
 he would frighten away far more than he would 
 secure. If a parent, with blind and unthinking 
 zeal, is incessantly throwing out random re- 
 marks, she may by chance produce the desired 
 eifect. She will, however, more frequently ex*- 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 193 
 
 cite opposition, and confirm rebellion, than lead 
 to penitence and prayer. 
 
 Guard against long and tedious conversations 
 on religious subjects. The mind of a child can 
 not be fixed for any great length of time upon 
 one subject without exhaustion. Every word 
 that is uttered, after there are manifestations 
 of weariness, will do more harm than good. If 
 a mother will exercise her own judgment, and 
 gather wisdom from her own observation, she 
 will soon acquire that facility in adapting her 
 instructions to the occasion which will have the 
 best tendency to improve her child. No rules 
 can supersede the necessity of personal watch- 
 fulness and reflection. 
 
CHAPTER YIIL 
 
 RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION CONTINUED. 
 
 1. Make the Bible your text hook in the re- 
 ligious instructions of your children. Few mod- 
 erns have attained greater celebrity than La- 
 martine. As a poet, a statesman, an orator, he 
 has filled the world with his renow^n. When a. 
 child, his mother was his intellectual guide, and 
 the Bible the book from which she taught him. 
 She inspired him with all that is noble in his 
 nature, arousing his affections, enkindling his 
 mind, guiding his thoughts, forming his tastes. 
 The Bible was her text book. Under its guid- 
 ance, she led her noble and ardent boy through 
 the groves and by the crystal streams of Eden. 
 With her he gathered the fruit, and plucked 
 the flowers, or listened to the songs, of Para- 
 dise. He saw depictured before him Adam 
 and Eve in their innocence and bliss, and in 
 their condition and history he saw and felt the 
 beauty of holiness. 
 
 The Fall came with its gloom and withering 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 195 
 
 curse. In the howling tempest, the desolation 
 of the garden of Eden, and the weary wander- 
 ings of our first, parents when ejected from 
 their early home, he saw the hatefulness of sin. 
 The Deluge then succeeds with its blackness 
 of darkness, and its surging billows overwhelm- 
 ina; a strusrfflins: world. The heart of the 
 child throbs in the conception of the awful 
 scene as a mother's lips tell the tale. His 
 mind is expanded, and his whole spirit elevated 
 by the terrific idea. Babel rises before his eye. 
 The story of Joseph and his adventurous life 
 inspires him with lofty desires. Daniel, the 
 heroic and the noble, awakens in his bosom the 
 firm resolve that he also will be a Christian 
 hero, daring to do and to suffer, though the 
 famished lion roar, and the heated furnace glow. 
 The Savior, in all the perfection of moral loveli- 
 ness, and in all the grandeur of moral sublimity, 
 becomes the object of his youthful love and ad- 
 miration. His bosom glows with lofty emo- 
 tions at the recital of the eventful lives of the 
 Apostles. His character is thus formed upon 
 the model of the sacred heroes. The mother, 
 with the Bible, aided by God's blessing, has en- 
 nobled and saved the boy. 
 
 At length, she dies and molders to the dust. 
 Life, with its tempests, rolls over her son. 
 
196 
 
 THE MOTHER AT llOME. 
 
 Temptations crowd around his path in sanguine 
 youth and in vigorous manhood. But there 
 is a guardian angel ever hovering over him. 
 That gentle and familiar voice which taught 
 him in infancy never dies upon his ear. That 
 sweet maternal smile never fades from his eye. 
 After long years of toil and conflict have 
 passed away, Lamartine resolves to visit in per- 
 son the land to which the instructions of his 
 mother had so often led his youthful mind. The 
 
 evening twilight is 
 just settling down 
 over the hills of 
 Judea as he catch- 
 es the first dim 
 glimpse of their 
 outline. The fresh 
 I j breeze urges the 
 - - I ship over the blue 
 expanse of the Med- 
 iterranean, and the 
 moon rises brightly 
 over Carmel and 
 Olivet and Leba- 
 non. His mother first guided his spirit to the 
 Holy Land. And now his thoughts involunta- 
 tarily turn to her.' "My mother," he says, 
 *' surely looks down at such an hour as this 
 
 ' LAMARTINE. 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 197 
 
 upon her happy son." With a soul swelling 
 with emotion, with eyes swimming in tears, he 
 looks upon the unvailed Heavens above him 
 and exclaims, "Mother! dear, dear mother! 
 here am I drawing near to your own loved Je- 
 rusalem. I am to weep upon Olivet and upon 
 Calvary. Upon the shores of the river and 
 the lake I am to tread in the footsteps which 
 your Savior and my Savior have trodden. 
 Mother, dear mother! I know that you are 
 with me, and that you sympathize in the joy of 
 your child." 
 
 Thus does the spiritual sympathy which 
 binds the heart of a child to a mother, survive, 
 and continue to exercise its power, long after 
 that mother has been slumbering in the grave. 
 The Bible is the strongest of all influences in 
 the creation of that sympathy. There is, in 
 its relations, the union of all that is intellectu- 
 ally exciting, and all that is spiritually sacred. 
 Its narratives, its imagery, its precepts, its thrill- 
 ing and heroic incidents, all more powerfully 
 move the human heart than any other agency. 
 
 We have not sufficient faith in the potency 
 of the Bible. It should be to the parent her 
 manual, her armory, a treasury for her of every 
 blessed influence. The infant mind eagerly 
 listens to the recital of the biography and the 
 
198 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 history with which its pages are filled. Tell 
 your child the stories of Eden, — of the Fall, and 
 of the Deluge, — of the cities of the plain, 
 wrapped in fire, — of Samuel, and Joseph, and 
 Moses, and David, and Ruth, and Daniel. Read 
 to them these narratives in the beautiful sim- 
 plicity with which the pen of inspiration has re- 
 corded them, and you will awaken a strong and 
 abiding interest in his mind ; you will fortify 
 him against the wiles of infidelity, with argu- 
 ments more potent than all the demonstrations 
 of philosophy ; and you will ally your name, a 
 mother's name, with the Bible, with angels, 
 with heaven, with God. 
 
 The mother must not surrender the instruction 
 of her children in the narratives and truths of 
 the Bible, to others — to the Sabbath-school 
 teacher or her pastor. Grateful as she may be 
 for the Sabbath-school, and the church, and all 
 the benign influences which they' exert, it is her 
 privilege, her peculiar privilege, her inestimable 
 privilege — a privilege of which no one may de- 
 prive her, to take her child by the hand herself 
 and lead him to the Savior. She must reveal 
 to the tender and awakened spirit, death and 
 its struggles, the grave and its corruption, — the 
 archangel's trumpet, the morning of the resur- 
 rection, the sublimity and the terror of the final 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 199 
 
 judgment. A mother's loving voice must guide 
 the mind to the garden of God on high — its 
 blest mansions, its still waters, its green pas- 
 tures, its fullness of never-fading joy. A moth- 
 er's gentle tones must reveal all that is awful 
 in the retribution of a righteous God, and the 
 remorse and the despair, which, like an undy- 
 ing worm and a quenchless flame, must con- 
 sume the sinner's heart. In doing this, the 
 Bible should ever be the parent's storehouse of 
 religious influence. It is the mighty power of 
 God. 
 
 2. In teaching children from the Scriptures, 
 aim at interesting them in the moral truths and 
 sentiments which the narratives convey. 
 
 In fact, upon a proper use of the sacred vol- 
 ume, a great deal depends in respect to the suc- 
 cess which is to be obtained through its in- 
 strumentality. There are some parts of it 
 which children can at a very early age under- 
 stand and appreciate. Others, from their style 
 or subject, will act efficiently on mature minds 
 alone. From the former, which ought to be 
 early read and explained, an immediate and 
 most important religious influence can at once 
 be exerted. Selections from the latter should 
 be fixed in the memory, to exert an influence in 
 future years. 
 
200 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 For the former of these purposes the narra- 
 ^iyejo«r^5, if judiciously selected, are most ap- 
 propriate in early years. But great care ought 
 to be taken to select those which may be easily 
 understood, and those in which some moral les- 
 son is obvious and simple. Let it be constantly 
 borne in mind that the object in view in teach- 
 ing the Bible to a child, is to affect his heart ; 
 and it would be well for every mother to pause 
 occasionally, and ask herself, "What moral 
 duty am I endeavoring to inculcate now? 
 What practical effect upon the heart and con- 
 duct of my child is this lesson intended to pro- 
 duce ?" 
 
 To ask a young child such questions as, 
 " Who was the first man ?" " Who was the 
 oldest man ?" " Who slew Goliath ?" may be 
 giving him lessons in pronunciation, but it is 
 not giving him religious instruction. It may 
 teach him to articulate, or it may strengthen 
 his memory, — but is doing little or nothing to 
 promote his piety. I would not be understood 
 to condemn such questions. I only wish that 
 parents may understand their true nature. If 
 the real or supposed dexterity of the child in 
 answering them is not made the occasion of 
 showing him off before company, — thus cher- 
 ishing vanity and self-conceit, — it may be well 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTKUOTIUN. 201 
 
 thus to exercise the menioiy ; and some facts, 
 which will be useful hereafter, may be fixed in 
 this way. But it must not be considered as 
 religious instruction ; — it has not in any degree 
 the nature of religious instruction. 
 
 What, then, is the kind of instruction which 
 is to be given from the Bible ? I will illustrate 
 the method by supposing a case which may 
 bring the proper principles to view. We will 
 imagine the child to be two or three years old. 
 
 " Come," says its mother, " come to me and 
 I will read you a story." It is Sabbath after- 
 noon we will suppose ; the mind of the child is 
 not pre-occupied by any other interest. 
 
 "Sometimes," continues the mother, "I tell 
 you stories to amuse you. But I am not going 
 to do that now. It is to do you good. Do you 
 understand how it will do you good to hear a 
 story ?" 
 
 " No, mother." 
 
 " Well, you will see. It is the story of Cain 
 and Abel. Do you know any thing about it ?" 
 
 " Yes ; Cain killed Abel." ' 
 
 " Do you know why he killed him ?" 
 
 " Because he was wicked." 
 
 " No, I mean what did Abel do to make 
 Cain angry with him ? Did you ever see any 
 body angry ? Were you ever angry yourself?" 
 
202 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 " Yes, mother." 
 
 " And I suppose you had some cause for it. 
 Now I will read the account, and see whether 
 you can tell what made Cain angry. 'And 
 Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an 
 offering unto the Lord.' Do you know what 
 the fruit of the ground is ?" 
 
 " No, mother." 
 
 " It means any thing which grows out of the 
 ground. Cain was a farmer ; he planted seeds 
 and gathered the fruits which grew from them, 
 and he brought some of them to offer them to 
 God. ' And Abel brought of the firstlings of 
 his flock.' Do you know what that means ?'"' 
 
 The child hesitates. 
 
 "Abel did not cultivate the ground like Cain. 
 He had great flocks of sheep and goats, and he 
 brought some of the best of those to offer to 
 God. So that you see that Cain and Abel did 
 almost exactly the same thing. 
 
 " Now, God does not notice merely what we 
 do, but how we feel, while we are doing it. If 
 I should ask you to go and shut that door when 
 you are busy, and if you should go immediately, 
 but feel ill-humored, God would be displeased. 
 He looks at the heart. Do you ever feel ill-hu« 
 mored when I wish you to do what you dis- 
 like r 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 203 
 
 " Yes, sometimes." 
 
 " Now, Cain, I suppose, did not feel pleasantly 
 when he brought his offering, and God was dis- 
 satisfied with him. But God was pleased with 
 Abel's offering, and accepted it. Should you 
 have thought that. Cain would have liked 
 this?" 
 
 " No :— did he like it ?" 
 
 " No, he did not. He was very much dis- 
 pleased ; and it is very remarkable that he was 
 displeased, not only against God, but he was 
 angry with his brother, who had not done him 
 the least wrong. That is the way with us all. 
 If you should do wrong, and your sister do 
 right, and I should blame you, and praise her, 
 you would be tempted to feel angry with her, 
 just because she had been so happy as to do her 
 duty. How wicked such a feeling is ! 
 
 " Cain, however, had that feeling ; and little 
 children have it very often. It shows itself in 
 different ways. Cain, being a strong man, rose 
 against his brother in the field and killed him. 
 But young children who are weak and small 
 would only strike each other, or say unkind 
 things to one another. Now God is displeased 
 with us when we have these feelings, whether 
 we show them by unkind words, or by cruel 
 violence. There is a particular verse in the 
 
201 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Bible which shows this. Should you like to 
 have me find it ?" 
 
 " Yes, mother." 
 
 "I will find it then. It is in Matt. v. 22. 
 Our Savior says it. It is this, * JVhosoever is 
 angry with his brother- without a cause, shall 
 he in danger of the judgment ; and whosoever 
 shall say, Thou fool, shall he in danger of hell- 
 fire.' This is not the whole of the verse. I 
 will explain the other part some other time." 
 
 The reader will perceive at once that the 
 kind of instruction here exemplified, consists in 
 drawing out the moral lesson which the passage 
 is intended to teach, and in giving it direct and 
 'practical application to the circumstances and 
 temptations of the child. 
 
 The views which are generally entertained 
 of heaven, as described in the Bible, are far 
 more indefinite than they ought to be. This 
 home of the blest is described in the Scriptures 
 with the most magnificent imagery that nature 
 affords. Heaven is spoken of as having a dis- 
 tinct locality, like any place on earth. We 
 hear of the splendor of the golden city, adorned 
 with every beauty with which the hand of Om- 
 nipotence can embellish it ; of the mansions 
 glittering with architectural magnificence. We 
 are informed of the social enjoyments of that 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 world. The Christian is introduced to the , 
 ciety of angels ; converses with them ; unites 
 in their enjoyments ; becomes a loved member 
 of their happy community. We are informed 
 of the active delights of heaven. Angel bands 
 fly to and fro, the rejoicing servants of God. 
 They unfold their wings and take their rapid 
 flight where all the glories of the universe al- 
 lure their curiosity, and where no darkness 
 succeeds the splendor of ceaseless day. The 
 eye gazes full and undazzled upon the bright- 
 ness of God's throne. The ear is charmed with 
 melody. The body of the Christian is to arise 
 from the grave, incorruptible and immortal. 
 There is the union of soul and body in that 
 happy world. There we meet our Christian 
 friends ; recognize them ; rejoice in their love. 
 Thus we pass our eternity with songs, and 
 everlasting joy upon our heads, where sorrow 
 and sighing forever flee away. 
 
 How vivid and impressive are the views 
 which the pen of inspiration gives of the Chris- 
 tian's future abode ! Yet the very common 
 idea entertained of heaven is, that it is a vast 
 aerial expanse, where shadowy and unsubstan- 
 tial spirits repose in mysterious and indefinable 
 enjoyment. There is, indeed, with many in- 
 dividuals, an impression that it is wrong to as- 
 
THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ate ideas of joys with which we now are 
 .amiliar, with that celestial abode. But is it 
 not safe, is it not a duty, to be guided in our 
 instructions by the Bible? Admitting that the 
 descriptions of the Bible are figurative, as they 
 of necessity must be, still these are the figures 
 which God has employed to convey to our 
 minds an idea of the joys of heaven. And 
 God would surely select the most appropriate 
 figures, and those which most nearly resemble 
 the enjoyments to be illustrated. 
 
 3. It is our privilege and our duty, there- 
 fore, to describe heaven to our children, as God 
 has described it to us. Thus may we give it 
 vividness in their minds. Thus may we excite 
 in their youthful bosoms the most intense desire 
 to enter that happy world. And why has God 
 unfolded its glories but to allure us to holiness 
 and entice us home ? Your son has an unusual 
 thirst for knowledge. His curiosity is ever on 
 the alert. He is prying into nature's mysterious 
 movements, and asking questions which the 
 human mind can not answer. Tell him that 
 there are no limits to human improvements ; 
 that the grave can not enchain the energies of 
 mind ; that time can not circumscribe its range , 
 that eternity can not weary its powers ; that it 
 will advance in its acquisitions, and soar in its 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 
 
 flight, long after suns, and nnoons, and stars 
 shall have waxed old and decayed. Tell him 
 that in heaven he shall understand all the won- 
 ders of God's works, and experience the most 
 exquisite delight, as he looks into and compre- 
 hends all the machinery of nature. And then 
 you can tell him of the Savior, who died that 
 he might introduce him to this happy world. 
 
 Your daughter has an ear charmed with the 
 melody of sound. Music is to her a source of 
 exquisite enjoyment. Is there no music in 
 heaven ? Is there no melody in the " chorus 
 of the skies ?" Is there nothing enrapturing to 
 the soul while uniting with angel bands in their 
 hallelujahs ? God has thus described heaven 
 to us. Why should we not then animate our 
 children with the same description ? You may, 
 in familiar language, carry the thoughts of your 
 daughter away to companies of happy angels, 
 with celestial harps and divine voices rolling 
 their notes of joy through heaven's wide con- 
 cave. Thus will she have some definite idea 
 of the enjoyments to which she is invited. 
 The joys of heaven will be to her intensely 
 alluring ; and she will be led to inquire more 
 earnestly into the way of salvation, and with 
 more fervor to implore God's aid to overcome 
 sin and prepare her for a heavenly home. 
 
THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Your child has an affectionate disposition, a 
 heart open to receive friendship, and to pour 
 forth its love. Tell him of the love of heaven, 
 of God, of the angels. Tell him of the love 
 which animates the bosoms of those noble 
 spirits who have not a single fault to repel at- 
 tachment. Tell him of again meeting all his 
 friends who love the Savior, in that world where 
 an unkind word, or an unkind look, or an un- 
 kind thought is unknown. And as you dwell 
 upon the proofs of a Savior's love, his heart may 
 be melted. 
 
 Is your child passionately fond of nature's 
 scenery ? Does he look with a poet's eye upon 
 the ocean, upon the starry canopy, upon the 
 gilded clouds of sunset ? There surely is mag- 
 nificence in the scenery of heaven. ^ There is 
 splendor worth beholding in the visions of 
 angels, the throne of God, the wide-spread uni- 
 verse of countless worlds. What is the ocean 
 but a drop sprinkled from the almighty hand ? 
 What is Niagara, to us so magnificent, but a 
 tiny rivulet rippling over its pebbly channel ? 
 Animate your child with the description of those 
 glories of heaven, before which all the sublimity 
 of earth sinks to insignificance. Fear not that 
 this will extinguish in his bosom a taste for na- 
 ture's beauties. It will, while increasing the 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTIIUCTION. 209 
 
 enjoyment which he derives from these sources, 
 refine and elevate his mind, and give him 
 ardent desires to be prepared for this world of 
 glory Fear not that this will strengthen in his 
 heart tne principles of selfishness instead of lead- 
 ing him to piety. If God had felt such fears, 
 he never would have presented us the allure- 
 ments of heaven, or the terrors of hell. Pre- 
 sent these joys, that your child may be induced 
 by them to repent of sin, to trust in the Savior, 
 and to consecrate life to his service. 
 
 These descriptions are necessarily in some 
 degree figurative, and we must so instruct our 
 children. But we must not neglect the use of 
 these figures, for they convey to the mind the 
 most correct conception that can be attained 
 of the enjoyment of the future world. The 
 fact that God has selected them, proves that no 
 other language can be equally appropriate. 
 They describe, as perfectly as human language 
 can describe, the nature of heaven's enjoy- 
 ments. But they do not come up to the real- 
 ty ; for eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor 
 human heart conceived, the joys which God 
 has prepared for those who love him. 
 
 God knows how to adapt instruction to the 
 human mind. We must imitate his exam.ple. 
 And we must present heaven to our children 
 
 O 
 
210 '^^^' MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 as God has presented it to us, crowded with 
 images of delight. The purest and noblest joys 
 that w^e experience on earth, will be found 
 again in that world, only infinitely elevated 
 and refined. And he must adopt singular prin- 
 ciples of interpretation, who does not read in 
 the Bible, that in heaven we shall find splendor 
 of scenery, harmony of music, congeniality of 
 companions, ardor of love, delight of active 
 motion, mansions of glory, and homes of never- 
 failing bliss. Let us urge these views upon 
 our children till their hearts are warmed by 
 them. Nothing can have a stronger tendency 
 to convince them of the folly of laying up 
 treasures upon earth. And this will lead them 
 to listen with interest to your instructions in 
 order that they may learn how salvation is to 
 be obtained. 
 
 4. Next to the Bible, as a means of religious 
 influence, we must place the careful culture 
 of our own hearts. The parent must strive to 
 be herself, just what she wishes her child to be. 
 She must cherish in her own spirit those virtues 
 and those graces, which she desires to see as 
 the embellishments of the character of her child 
 Our children have more right to expect that we 
 shall be model parents than we have to require 
 that they shall be model children. Their temp- 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 211 
 
 tations are as severe for them as ours are for 
 us. We are apt to think their burdens light, 
 because upon our mature minds they would 
 jn'ess with but little weight. And thus most 
 erroneously we excuse ourselves for defects 
 which we censure severely in them. 
 
 Would you have your children look to God 
 sincerely, affectionately, cheerfully, as their 
 Father and their friend — their sympathizer in 
 joy, their comforter in sorrow ? Lead them to 
 do this, by your example. Let them see this 
 spirit in you. When you bend over the cradle 
 of a dying child, when disaster comes and sweeps 
 away your means of luxury and even of com- 
 forts, when disease takes you from the busy 
 cares of the household and you languish in de- 
 bility and pain upon your bed — then is the time, 
 in which to show the loveliness and the blessed- 
 ness of confidence in God. A smile upon your 
 countenance, a glance of confiding affection in 
 your eye, a word of calm submission from your 
 full heart, will then go to the hearts of your ob- 
 serving children, with great and effectual power. 
 Words are air. They fall upon the ear, and 
 are forgotten. But who ever forgets abiding, 
 consistent, unvarying example ? What child 
 ever ceases to remember the life, the daily life, 
 of its father and its mother ? 
 
812 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 The ornaments and graces too, of the natural 
 character as well as the principles of piety, can 
 best be inculcated upon children through the 
 influence of example. Would you have your 
 daughter learn to control her passions, and cul- 
 tivate a subdued, gentle, and submissive spirit ? 
 Would you have her speak soothingly to her 
 little brother, when he is irritated, and bear her 
 own little troubles without fretful ness or com- 
 plaining ? Show her how to do it by your ex- 
 ample. When the careless domestic drops the 
 china vase, or spoils the dinner, or breaks the 
 lamp of oil upon the carpet ; then is the time, in 
 which to teach your child how to govern her- 
 self. This is your hour of conflict. Gain the 
 victory yourself, and your child will gather 
 strength from your success to struggle with her 
 own temptations and sins. 
 
 Say not that the annoyances and trials which 
 you have to bear, are too great to be always 
 endured with equanimity. God lays upon his 
 children no intolerable burdens. We need such 
 discipline as these things bring that we may be 
 able to sympathize with our children in their 
 trials. And we surely ought not to be sur- 
 prised to find that our children get vexed and 
 angry at the disappointments and injuries which 
 befall them, if we lose our own tempers and re- 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 213 
 
 sent with ruffled feelings and angry words the 
 acts of carelessness on the part of others by 
 which we are annoyed. 
 
 Parents should never, especially in the pres- 
 ence of their children, give way to feelings of 
 irritation and anger. Even when a child does 
 wrong, there should be no expression of resent- 
 ment or vexation in our looks or in our words. 
 We may act firmly on such occasions, and 
 reprove effectually, while yet we maintain 
 throughout, the quiet, gentle, and peaceful spirit 
 by which the conduct of the Christian ought at 
 all times to be characterized. 
 
 In fact, the efficiency of parental discipline 
 will depend in a great measure upon the mild- 
 ness and gentleness of the form it assumes : 
 while at the same time, by assuming such a char- 
 acter, it makes the subject of it gentle and mild. 
 In the same manner, feelings of benevolent 
 regard for the happiness of others, and all other 
 right moral sentiments of heart, can be best 
 cultivated through the influence of parental ex- 
 ample. Would you cherish in your child, a 
 heart to feel for others' woes,— a generojis 
 spirit, active in the relief of distress? Take 
 your son or your daughter with you, as you 
 grope through the dark passage-way to the room 
 of sickness and penury. Let him see the scanty 
 
214 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ^^^ 
 
 THE VISIT. 
 
 furniture, the thin 
 clothing, and the 
 feeble flame dying 
 on the hearth. Let 
 him bear, himself, 
 the basket which 
 conveys comforts 
 to the desolate ; 
 and the spirit which 
 glows in your bos- 
 om, will warm his 
 also ; and the spir- 
 it of benevolence 
 which Christ has 
 enkindled in your bosom, will diffuse its warmth 
 into his youthful heart. 
 
 It is a beautiful arrangement of Providence, 
 that requires that the great work of the forma- 
 tion of the character of children should be done 
 in the heart of the parent herself. I am to 
 teach my child to avoid vanity, and pride, and 
 selfishness, by cultivating within myself, with 
 never-tiring assiduity, the spirit of lowliness, of 
 humility, of self-sacrifice. It is thus, more effect- 
 ually than in any other way, that I am to 
 reach and influence his heart. So I am to curb 
 the impetuous passions of my child, mainly by 
 gaining the victory over myself, and bringing 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 215 
 
 all my own passions under perfect control. It 
 IS thus within myself, — it is in my own heart, 
 that I can work most effectually in molding the 
 character of my children ; for in promoting 
 their moral progress I must go before them and 
 lead the way. 
 
 What fearful questions, then, arise in the 
 mind of every parent ? Am I what I wish my 
 child to be ? Am I grateful, submissive, cheer- 
 ful ? Have I conquered my passions, obtained 
 weanedness from the world, and am I daily, in 
 my life, presenting an example such as my child 
 may safely imitate ? Here lies the great work 
 of parental faithfulness. Here is to be laid the 
 deep foundations of all salutary family disci- 
 pline. Thus did our Savior plead. Such was 
 the influence he wielded. Persuasive as were 
 his words, infinitely more persuasive was the 
 power of his example. 
 
 5. Dwell particularly upon the Savior, in 
 the religious instruction of children. The 
 Scriptures declare that the preaching of Christ 
 crucified is the great instrument which God 
 uses in convincing of sin, and leading the soul 
 to penitence and gratitude. And the history 
 of the church in all ages has shown that the 
 history of a Savior's love and death will awaken 
 contrition and melt the heart, when all other 
 
21G THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 appeals are in vain. Your child will listen, 
 with tearful eye, while you tell of the Savior's 
 elevation in heaven ; of his becoming man ; of 
 the sufferings and persecution of his life ; and 
 of his cruel death upon the cross. And when 
 you tell your child that it was God who thus 
 became manifest in the flesh, and suffered 
 these indignities that he might redeem his sin- 
 ful creatures from woe, you will convey to the 
 tender mind such an idea of God's kindness, 
 and the ingratitude of sinners, as nothing else 
 can produce. The philosopher may admire the 
 noble conception of the eternal, incomprehen- 
 sible, invisible Spirit. But it is God, as man- 
 ifested in the compassionate, gentle, and suffer- 
 ing Savior, who attracts the sympathies of the 
 heart. A definite idea is introduced to the 
 youthful mind, when you speak of him w^ho 
 took little children in his arms and blessed them. 
 Every Christian can judge, from the effect pro- 
 duced upon his own heart by the recital of a 
 Savior's love, of the tendency it has to awaken 
 in the bosom of a child the deepest emotions 
 of contrition and gratitude. It is very observ- 
 able, in all the accounts of youthful piety, that 
 the Savior is the prominent object of affec- 
 tion. 
 
 Any person will be interested, in turning 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 217 
 
 over the pages of almost any pious child's biog. 
 raphy, to witness how strong the impression 
 which a Savior's love produces upon the heart. 
 Even under the most adverse circumstances, 
 the youthful heart has found its way to him. 
 Not a few instances have occurred, in which 
 parents, who have not been accustomed to give 
 prominency to the Savior in their instructions, 
 have been surprised to find that Jesus Christ is 
 the sympathizing friend to whom a child, in sick- 
 ness and in suffering, has most affectionately 
 clung. God, in Christ, has attractions which 
 nothing else can have. 
 
 When little Nathan Dickerman was asked, 
 " What do you love to think about most when 
 you are in pain ?" 
 
 " The Lord Jesus Christ," he answered. 
 
 At another time his biographer records, 
 " Nathan is very sick to-night. His heart is 
 beating most violently and rapidly, while the 
 pulse can hardly be perceived at the wrist. 
 But he says he is more happy than usual. I 
 asked him why. He replied, 
 
 " 'Because my Savior is near.' 
 
 " Being asked which was his favorite hymn; 
 he reflected a moment, and repeated, 
 
 " One there is aDove all others 
 
 "Well deserves the name of friend ; 
 
218 THt: MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 His is love beyond a brother's, 
 Costly, free, and knows no end. 
 
 "Which of all our friends, to save us, 
 Could or "would have shed his blood ? 
 
 But this Savior died to have us 
 Reconciled in him to God." 
 
 " The remembrance of what the Savior suf- 
 fered sustained him in all his sufferings. Re- 
 deeming love was the theme of his sweetest 
 meditations. 
 
 " One day, some one was mentioning in the 
 room, that his disease was of such a nature that 
 he would probably die suddenly. Nathan 
 heard it, and rising up in the bed, clasped his 
 hands together, and repeated the verse, 
 
 " Jesus can make a dying bed 
 Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
 "While on his breast I lean my head, 
 
 And breathe my soul out sweetly there." 
 
 " And after sitting a few moments in silence, 
 ns added another : 
 
 " Jesus, my God, I know his name. 
 His name is all my trust ; 
 Nor will he put my soul to shame ; 
 JS'or let my hope be lost." 
 
 *** Isn't that a good hope, mother?' " 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 219 
 
 We might open to almost any memoir of 
 early piety, in illustration of this principle. 
 And indeed everv one who is familiar with the 
 characteristics of devotional feeling, as they 
 are exemplified in the mind of a child, must 
 have observed the wonderful adaptation of re- 
 ligious truth to our weakness and frailty. 
 
 Let parents, therefore, imitate the apostles, 
 and preach to their children a suffering Savior. 
 Show them God in Christ, reconciling the 
 w^orld to himself. This is the simplicity of the 
 Gospel. Indeed, we can hardly conceive it 
 possible for the affections of a child to cling 
 with ardor to any object, of which it can not 
 form some definite conception. Tell your child 
 of Christ, who created him ; of Christ, w^ho be- 
 came man, and suffered and died to save him ; 
 of Christ, before whose judgment-seat he soon 
 must appear; of Christ, whose .praises the 
 Christian will sing in heaven, ages without end. 
 Thus is God, if I may so express it, simplified 
 to the comprehension of the child. The moth- 
 er who does not often present this Savior, and 
 dwell upon the story of his sufferings and death, 
 has not yet learnt the simplicity and power of 
 the gospel. All other motives are feeble, com- 
 pared with this. You may search the world 
 of fact and of imagination in vain for any mo- 
 
220 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 tive calculated to produce so deep an impres- 
 sion upon the mind. And every thing in this 
 astonishing occurrence has a tendency to pro- 
 mote humility, and penitence, and love. I 
 dwell the more earnestly upon this point, for it 
 appears to me of primary importance. It is the 
 all-availing instrument which God has given to 
 subdue the power of sin in the heart. 
 
 Pray with your children. It is not only the 
 duty of a mother to pray for her children, but 
 when they are young, to pray with them. Let 
 them hear your fervent supDlications that God 
 will make them his friends. Let them see that 
 your desires are intense that they may be pre- 
 served from sin, and prepared for heaven. The 
 feelings which animate the bosom of the mother 
 will, by sympathy, in some degree, be trans- 
 ferred to the bosoms of the children. These 
 scenes of devotion will long be remembered 
 And even if your efforts and your prayers are 
 not answered with the early evidences of your 
 children's piety, these hours of devotion will 
 leave a trace upon the memory never to be 
 effaced. Through all succeeding years they 
 will operate as restraints from plunging into 
 guilty excess, and as monitions of conscience 
 calling loudly to repentance and virtue. 
 
 It is reported of a man, eminent for his tal 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 221 
 
 ents, his elevated situatioQ in life, and his dissi- 
 pation, that one evening, while sitting at the 
 gaming-table, he was observed to be unusually 
 sad. His associates rallied him upon his seri- 
 ous aspect. He endeavored, by rousing him- 
 self, and by sallies of wit, which he had always 
 at command, to turn away their attention, and 
 throw off the transient gloom. Not many mo- 
 ments transpired before he seemed again lost 
 in thought, and dejected, by some mournful 
 contemplations. This exposed him so entirely 
 to the ridicule of his companions, that he could 
 not defend himself. As they poured in upon 
 him their taunts and jeers, he at last remarked, 
 " Well, to tell the truth, I can not help think- 
 ing, every now and then, of the prayers my 
 • mother used to offer for me at my bedside 
 when I was a child. Old as I am, I can not 
 forget the impressions of those early years." 
 Here was a man of highly cultivated mind, and 
 of talents of so high an order as to give him in- 
 fluence and eminence, notsvithstanding his dis- 
 solute life, and yet, neither lapse of years, nor 
 acquisitions of knowledge, nor crowding cares, 
 nor scenes of dissipation, could obliterate the 
 effect which a mother's devotions had left upon 
 his mind. The still small voice of a mother's 
 prayers rose above the noise of guilty revelry. 
 
222 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 The pious mother, though dead, still continued 
 to speak in impressive rebuke to her dissolute 
 son. Many facts might be introduced illustra- 
 ting the importance of this duty. The follow- 
 ing is so much to the point, and affords such 
 cheering encouragement, that 1 can not refrain 
 from relating it. 
 
 A few years since, a gentleman from Eng- 
 land brought a letter of introduction to a gen- 
 tleman in this country. The stranger was of 
 accomplished mind and manners, but in senti- 
 ment an infidel. The gentleman to whom he 
 brought letters of introduction^ and his lady, 
 were active Christian philanthropists. They 
 invited the stranger to make their house his 
 home, and treated him with every possible at- 
 tention. Upon the evening of his arrival, just 
 before the usual hour for retiring, the gentle- 
 man, knowing the peculiarity of his guest's sen- 
 timents, observed to him that the hour liad ar- 
 rived in which they usually attended famil} 
 prayers ; that he should be happy to have him 
 remain and unite with them, or, if he preferred, 
 he could retire. The gentleman intimated that 
 it would give him pleasure to remain. A chapter 
 of the Bible was read, and the family all knelt 
 in prayer, the stranger with the rest. In a few 
 days the stranger left this hospitable dwelling, 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 223 
 
 and embarked on board a ship for a foreign 
 land. In the course of three or four years, 
 however, the providence of God again led that 
 stranger to the same dvvelHng. But O, how 
 changed! He came the happy Christian, the 
 humble man of piety and prayer. In the course 
 of the evening's conversation he remarked that 
 when he, on the first evening of his previous 
 visit, knelt with them in family prayer, it was 
 the first time for many years that he had bowed 
 the knee to his Maker. This act brought to his 
 mind such a crowd of recollections, it so vivid- 
 ly reminded him of a parent's prayers which 
 he had heard at home, that it completely ab- 
 sorbed his attention. His emotion was so great 
 that he scarcely heard one syllable of the prayer 
 which was uttered, from its commencement to 
 its close. And God made this the instrument 
 of leading him from the dreary wilds of infidel- 
 ity to the peace and the joys of piety. His pa- 
 rents, I believe, had long before gone to their 
 rest ; but the prayers that they had offered for 
 and with their son, had left an influence which 
 could not die. They might have prayed ever 
 so fervently for him, but if they had not prayed 
 with him, if they had not knelt by his side and 
 caused his listening ear to hear their earnest 
 
224 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 supplications, their child might have continued 
 through life unreconciled to his Maker. 
 
 There is efficacy in prayer. God hears and 
 answers our requests. But he does this in ac- 
 cordance with the laws which he has estab- 
 hshed. It is presumption to expect that he will 
 interrupt the harmony of those laws. He acts 
 through them. And we should endeavor to ac- 
 commodate all our efforts to the known habits 
 and laws of mind ; to present those motives 
 which have a tendency to influence. God an- 
 swered the prayers of these pious parents ; but 
 he did it through the instrumentality of the. 
 very effort which they were making in asking 
 him to bless their son, though their efforts 
 seemed for a time to lead to no result. 
 
 7. Teach your children to pray themselves. 
 It may be very useful to teach a child the Lord's 
 prayer and other simple forms. And a child 
 may thus really pray — give utterance to his 
 own feelings in the language of another. But 
 this can not supersede the necessity of teaching 
 him to go himself to thank God for all the name- 
 less enjoyments of the day, and to ask forgive- 
 ness for the various faults he may have com- 
 mitted. The minds of children dwell upon par- 
 ticulars. They are not in habits of generaliz- 
 ing. It requires but little feeling to confess 
 
KELlGlUUrf INSTIIUCTION. 225 
 
 that we are sinners. But to specify individual 
 acts of wickedness demands a niuch greater ex- 
 ercise of iiuniility. And a general recognition 
 of God's goodness aiFects the mind very differ- 
 ently from the enumeration of particular mer- 
 cies. It is therefore important that your child 
 should be taught to review the events of each 
 day at its close. He should be reminded of the 
 mercies received, and the faults committed ; 
 and be taught to express gratitude for the one, 
 and implore pardon for the other. The return 
 of a father from a journey has given your chil- 
 dren an evening of very unusual enjoyment. 
 When they retire for the night, allude to the 
 happy evening they have passed. Tell them it 
 was God who preserved their father's life,»and 
 returned him safely home. And having thus 
 excited real gratitude in their hearts, lead them 
 to express this gratitude in their own simple 
 and artless lano;ua";e. 
 
 By thus pointing their attention to prominent 
 facts and individual blessings, they will not 
 only acquire facility in prayer, but be most 
 effectually taught their entire dependence upon 
 God. Care should also be taken not to over- 
 ook the ordinary blessings of life. It is a rainy 
 day. Show God's goodness in sending the rain. 
 Let them see distinctly that their Father in 
 
 p 
 
226 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 heaven does it that his children may have food 
 to eat. It is night. Show them the conse- 
 quences which would result if God should never 
 again cause the sun to rise and shine upon them. 
 They have received some needful clothes. 
 Show them how God makes the wool grow, 
 that they may be warm. Every mother can 
 easily present to them such contemplations, which 
 will enlarge their field of thought, increase their 
 knowledge of God, promote gratitude, and give 
 a facility in prayer which will be to them a per- 
 manent and valuable acquisition. 
 
 Let it not be said that to impart such instruc-. 
 tions as these requires a degree of knowledge 
 and skill which but few parents possess. The 
 chief difficulty to be surmounted is the feeling 
 which so many parents entertain that they have 
 not time. But the mother who feels the im- 
 portance of this subject as it deserves to be felt, 
 will find time to be faithful with her children, 
 whatever else she may be under the neces- 
 sity of neglecting. The same course should be 
 pursued in confession of sin. By pointing to 
 these mercies you may easily convince your 
 child of its want of suitable gratitude. Perhaps 
 he has, during the day, been guilty of falsehood, 
 or disobedience, or anger. Point to the definite 
 case, and lead your child to confess it before 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 227 
 
 God, and ask forgiveness. We will suppose 
 liiat your son has been irritated, and struck his 
 sister. Before he falls asleep, you remind him 
 of iiis sin. Show him how wicked it was, and 
 how displeased God must be. Tell him when 
 he is asleep he will die, unless God keeps him 
 alive. Under such instructions, almost every 
 child would desire to ask forgiveness, and prob 
 ably would offer some such prayer as this : *' O 
 God, I am very wicked. 1 struck my sister, I 
 am very sorry, and will never do so again. O 
 God, forgive me, for Jesus Christ's sake." This 
 would be prayer, if offered from the heart ; and 
 if, after it had been offered, the mother should 
 kneel by the bedside, and confess the sin of her 
 child, and pray that God would forgive him, in 
 all probability the intended effect of prayer 
 would be accomplished. The offender would 
 be penitent, and the sin forgiven. For these 
 reasons, it is a most obvious duty to teach chil- 
 dren to express their own feelings in their own 
 language. And the careful mother may make 
 this exercise one of the most efficient instru- 
 ments in teaching her child obedience here, and 
 in training it up for holiness and happiness here- 
 after. 
 
 Parents are apt to smile at the childish ex- 
 pressions which children make use of in prayer, 
 
228 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 and sometimes fear that their language is irrev- 
 erent. But God looks simply at the sincerity 
 of the petition, at its importance in the mind of 
 the petitioner. A little child of two and a half 
 years prayed, " Lord, help me to laugh and not 
 to cry when mother washes me in the morn- 
 ing." And does not God look with as kind a 
 regard upon the humble request of this little 
 child, as he does upon the fervent petitions of 
 the man who implores support under some pain- 
 ful operation, or strength to overcome an irri- 
 table spirit ? Such a request, coming spontane- 
 ously from the heart of a child, is genuine 
 prayer, and it shows a state of feeling w-hich 
 ought at all times to be cherished. 
 
 8. Expect that your child will become a Chris- 
 tian. That heart which is susceptible of sor- 
 row and love, is capable of evangelical repent- 
 ance and love to God. No one can doubt but 
 that, at a very early period in life, a child has 
 all the powers which are employed in the exer- 
 cise of true religion. Neither can there be any 
 doubt that at that early period the mind is more 
 susceptible of impression, the hold of the world 
 is more feeble, and the current of affection may 
 be more easily turned to God. And facts do 
 hold forth most abundant encouragement. How 
 many little memoirs have recently been issued 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 229 
 
 from the press, which have told the affecting 
 taJe of youthful piety ! Children of five or six 
 years of age have given the most gratifying evi- 
 dence of attachment to the Savior. They have 
 endured pain, and met death, sustained by the 
 consolations of religion. Such facts have been 
 too numerous and too decisive to allow unbelief 
 to be longer excusable. And yet it is to be feared 
 that many parents do not feel their immediate 
 responsibility. They still cherish the impres- 
 sion that their children must attain maturity 
 before they can be decidedly penitent for sin, 
 and the friends of God. But the mother who 
 entertains such feelings as these, is guilty of the 
 most cruel injustice to her child. It is almost 
 impossible that she should be vigilant and faith- 
 ful in her efforts, unless she expects success. 
 Every mother ought to engage in the duties of 
 religious instruction, with the confident expec- 
 tation that God will accompany her exertions 
 with his blessing. She ought even to feel that, 
 if her child does not give early evidence of 
 piety, much of the responsibility rests with her. 
 The Christian experience of the child will un- 
 doubtedly differ from that of the man who has 
 passed many years in sin, whose habits are 
 firmly fixed, and whose affections have long 
 been flowino; in the channel of worldliness. 
 
230 THK MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 With such a person the struggle of turning to 
 holiness will often be great, and the sense of sin 
 distressingly intense. But the period of your 
 child's conversion may be at so early a stage 
 of its existence as to leave no trace by which 
 the time of the change can be remembered. 
 The struggle will be comparatively feeble, and 
 penitence will be manifested by the tearful eye 
 and the sad heart, and not always by that deep 
 agony of spirit which not unfrequently marks 
 the change of those who have grown old in sin. 
 Much injury is often done by laying stress 
 upon the time when one becomes a Christian. . 
 Past feelings are at best but an uncertain test 
 of Christian character. The great object of in- 
 quiry should be as to present feelings and con- 
 duct. Is the life now in accordance with the 
 requirements of the gospel ? Is the heart now 
 affected with humility, and patience, and grati- 
 tude ? Is the resolution now strong to live for 
 God ? If the sun is shining warmly upon us, 
 it is of but little consequence at what moment it 
 arose. There are many Christians who can not 
 recollect the time when they became subjects 
 of the new birth. Be not, therefore, anxious 
 upon this point. Indeed, by directing the at- 
 tention of your child to any particular time 
 when it became a Christian, there is danger 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 231 
 
 of leading the mind to rely upon the supposed 
 experience of that moment, rather than upon 
 continued penitence and devotion. And there- 
 fore let every mother do all in her power to 
 awaken in the bosoms of her children emotions 
 of sorrow for sin, and reliance upon Christ. 
 And when she finds these feelings in the heart, 
 and controlling the life, let her thank God, and 
 take courage. She must watch with maternal 
 solicitude, that temptation be avoided, and that 
 the feeble flame burn brighter and brighter. 
 Christ has intrusted this beloved object to your 
 guardianship. Why should not a mother con- 
 fidently expect this result to follow her efforts ? 
 Has not God encouraged her thus to hope, by 
 promising to aid with his blessing ? Has he 
 not encouraged, by again and again crowning 
 such efTorts with success ? Away then with 
 unbelief. To doubt is to distrust the promise 
 of God. Instruct your child, and pra}^ f©r your 
 child, and look for an immediate blessing. 
 Thus, in all probability, will your heart be 
 made glad by the fruits of early piety at your 
 fireside ; grateful children will honor you 
 through life, and the joys of heaven will be 
 magnified by meeting your loved ones there. * 
 9. Do not speak to others of the piety of 
 your child. Great injury is thus often done. 
 
232 THE MOTHEll AT HOMK. 
 
 A child becomes deeply interested in the sub- 
 ject of religion, and his friends are encouraged 
 to hope that he has really become a Christian. 
 They speak of it to others. It is soon publicly 
 known. He receives much attention ; is ca- 
 ressed and flattered. Thus is this Httle child 
 thrown at once into the very hottest furnace 
 of temptation. We might refer to many pain- 
 ful illustrations of this truth in the memoirs of 
 early piety. 
 
 Says the biographer of little Nathan Dicker- 
 man, " His feelings were often wounded by the 
 injudicious conversation which was frequently 
 held in his presence. 
 
 " Kind friends indulged in perhaps what were 
 well-meant, but sadly ill-jndged remarks in his 
 presence. And it is most deeply to be regret- 
 ted that parents and friends so often, inconsider- 
 ately no doubt, speak before children in praise 
 of thefr persons, in a manner that inevitably 
 fosters vanity, which injures ' their usefulness 
 and happiness as long as they live. 
 
 "Nathan's ear was often greeted with. Beau- 
 tiful boy ! Remarkable boy ! What a fine 
 countenance ! Certainly the most wonderful 
 case I ever heard of! The half had not been 
 told me." 
 
 Tt is I'emarkable that, while exposed to such 
 
RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 233 
 
 temptations, real humility could have been pre- 
 served. And though the grace of God sus- 
 tained this lovely child, but few would have es. 
 caped uninjured. 
 
 How often is even the Christian minister sen- 
 sibly affected by flattery! And can a child 
 safely receive such marked attentions ? An 
 honest development of facts, upon this subject, 
 would be exceedingly painful. Humility is one 
 of the cardinal virtues of Christianity. The 
 moment an impression is conveyed to the mind 
 that there is something remarkable and merito- 
 rious in penitence for sin, and love for God, the 
 heart is elated with pride. And then things are 
 said, and actions performed, to attract attention. 
 Pra3'ers are offered, and feelings of piety ex- 
 pressed, from the love of ostentation ; and the 
 child is " spoiled." Preserve your child from 
 these temptations, by giving no publicity to his 
 feelings. Carefully cherish at home the flame 
 which is kindled in his bosom. Under your 
 protection, let him acquire strength of princi- 
 ple and stability of character. Gradually in- 
 troduce him to the more public duties of the 
 christian life. Teach him humility. Preserve 
 his childlike spirit. In this manner you may 
 lead him along to be a humble, and, at the same 
 time, an active and ardent follower of Christ. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 FRUITS OF PIETY. 
 
 Nothing will conduce more effectually to a 
 mother's success in the work of training up her 
 children to be consistent and useful Christians, 
 than right ideas of the true fruits of piety. 
 We must know what fruits the true spirit of. 
 piety will produce, for our own sakes, and also 
 for our children. We must know what points 
 we are ourselves to aim at attaining, in culti- 
 vating the Christian character, and also in what 
 direction we are to lead our children. I pro- 
 pose in this chapter to consider what the true 
 fruits of piety, as developed in a Christian 
 family, properly are, 
 
 1. A devotional spirit. A spirit of habitual 
 and sincere devotion is so directly implied in 
 the very idea of piety, that it seems scarcely 
 proper to enumerate it as one of the fruits of 
 piety. And yet the importance of direct and 
 constant efforts to cultivate such a spirit, is 
 often overlooked. By a devotional spirit is 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 235 
 
 meant a spirit of sincere and fervent prayer, 
 and a disposition to associate the thoughts of 
 God and his providence with all the occur- 
 rences and events of life. Cherish now this 
 spirit in yourselves and inculcate it upon your 
 children. Teach them, for example, that when 
 their father, or you yourself, assemble them for 
 morning or evening prayer, it is not a mere 
 form, or a duty that they are to witness merely, 
 but to take no part in. Teach them, on the 
 other hand, that they have themselves an active 
 and important duty to perform at these sea- 
 sons. 
 
 " When your father reads the passage of 
 scripture," you can say to them, " you must not 
 be inattentive, but must fix your thoughts upon 
 what he reads, and endeavor to understand its 
 meaning, and to apply the instructions to your 
 own case. And as he addresses God in prayer, 
 you should silently repeat after him all the 
 words of his petition, trying to make them your 
 own And thus you should make the season 
 of family prayer, a season in which you not 
 merely listen to your father's prayer, but en- 
 gage in devotion yourselves." 
 
 It will not be sufficient to inculcate such a 
 lesson as this upon your children by precept 
 alone ; you must lead them to such duties bv 
 
230 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 your example. They must see the evidence 
 of a sincere spirit of devotion in you. To this 
 end you must be diligent in secret prayer, con- 
 iessing your own sins, and imploring God's as- 
 sistance to enable you to resist the peculiar 
 temptations to which you are exposed. Social 
 prayer is a great source of spiritual improve- 
 • ment and enjoyment. But it can never take 
 the place of secret prayer. There are sins 
 and temptations to which we all are exposed, 
 which we can not confess in the presence of 
 any one but God alone. In our secret prayers, 
 therefore, we should be particular, mentioning 
 by name our secret sins, and our constitutional 
 imperfections 
 
 Teach your children these truths. "At 
 the close of the day," you may say to them 
 " when you retire to your chamber for the re- 
 pose of the night, and before you close your 
 eyes in sleep, retrace, with your thoughts, the 
 scenes of the day. Recall to mind all the du- 
 ties that you have faithfully performed, and also 
 all the duties that you have neglected, and the 
 temptations to which you have yielded. Among 
 your sins of omission, you see, perhaps, that 
 you did not improve your time in school as well 
 as you ought to have done. Your mother 
 found it necessary to censure you for leaving 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 237 
 
 your clothes in your room in disorder. You 
 also remember that you felt irritated at some 
 Utile annoyance from your sister, and though 
 you had sulficient self-restraint to refrain fiom 
 speaking angrily to her, your feelings were for 
 some time so ruffled as to make you quite un- 
 happy. Reflect upon these faults till you feel 
 how sinful they were in God's sight. You 
 must then confess all these and other similar 
 sins to God, and ask his forgiveness for them." 
 
 It is thus that you must watch over your own* 
 spirit, and teach your children to watch over 
 theirs day after day, and year after year, that 
 you and they may grow in grace. It is only by 
 this spirit of particular and secret prayer, that 
 any one can make any rapid or sure attain- 
 ments in the divine life. Nothing can be a 
 substitute for faithful prayer. The moment 
 that you begin to neglect it your heart begins 
 to grow cold, and you become the victim of 
 spiritual desertion. But if you are faithful in 
 devotion, your path through life will be " as the 
 shining light that shineth more and more unto 
 the perfect day." You will soon, in this way, 
 gain such a conquest over all sinful passions, 
 that serenity and ])eacQ will be the habitual 
 state of vour mind. 
 
 2. Cheerfulness. A cheerful spirit is so 
 
238 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 . — _ -^ — — « 
 
 specially enjoined in the Scriptures that it may 
 almost be considered a sin to be melancholy. 
 It is a duty to be happy. Gloom and despon- 
 dency are not only the consequences of sin, but 
 they are sinful states of the mind. They prove 
 ingratitude, and want of submission to the gov- 
 ernment of God. I will not say that' there may 
 not be particular seasons in life, in the history 
 of individuals, in which they must unavoidably 
 oe borne down with sorrow. Now and then, 
 there comes upon an individual an awful calam- 
 ity, and the strongest mind and the strongest 
 faith are prostrated by it. But, even in these 
 cases, it is by no means certain that it is not th© 
 duty of the Christian, to feel such perfect con- 
 fidence in the wisdom and the benevolence o 
 God's government, as to illustrate the truth ot 
 the promise, " Thou wilt keep him in perfeci 
 peace, whose mind is stayed on thee." 
 
 There can, however, be no question but that 
 it is our duty under all ordinary circumstances, 
 to have a mind serene and peaceful. And while 
 admitting that there may be a great difference, 
 in this respect, in the natural disposition of chil- 
 dren, nothing is more certain than that we can 
 cultivate, in them as well as in ourselves, the 
 habit of looking upon the bright side of every 
 object, and. bv this cultivation, with more or 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 239 
 
 less difficulty, a spirit of almost uninterrupted 
 tranquillity and happiness may be acquired. 
 Young persons, and ir deed many older persons, 
 are apt to imagine that, if they are unhappy, it 
 is their misfortune ; but the truth is, in general, 
 it is not their misfortune, but their sin. They 
 indulge themselves year after year in those feel- 
 ings which they know to be wrong, and which 
 gnaw at the heart like a viper biting there. 
 
 Suppose when you awake in the morning, be- 
 fore offering your morning prayer, you think 
 of all the blessings with which you are sur- 
 rounded. You reflect how many persons, dur- 
 ing the past night, have been tossed upon beds 
 of pain. " How many have died," you say, 
 " and find themselves this morning in the eter- 
 nal world, unprepared for its awful scenes ! My 
 Heavenly Father has kept me alive, and an- 
 other day is now given me in which to prepare 
 for Heaven. The L)rd has provided me with 
 all necessary clothes to wear, and food to eat. 
 I have kind friends around me ; opportunities 
 for doing good opened before me ; and if I am 
 faithful in duty this day, how happily may its 
 hours glide along ! And above all, — blissful 
 thought, — if the Lord should see fit to take me 
 from the world to-day, I can not doubt that he 
 has, for my blessed Savior's sake, forgiven my 
 
240 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 sins, and that he will take me to Heaven. 
 Every day is carrying me nearer to eternal 
 holiness and happiness. O, how much occasion 
 have I for a heart overflowing v/ith gratitude I 
 I shall indeed be inexcusably ungrateful to my 
 heavenly Father if, when crowned with all these 
 blessings, I have a sad and murmuring heart. 
 
 " Heavenly Father," you say, in meditative 
 prayer, "help me this da}^ to manifest my grat- 
 itude to thee by happy love. May I so love 
 thee, and serve thee, and have such confidence 
 in thy goodness, and so subdue all those pas- 
 sions which are sinful, and consequently disturb 
 one's peace, and so perform all my duties that 
 I may have a tranquil heart all the day long." 
 
 In your morning prayer, you pray for a 
 oneerful spirit, as one of your most important 
 duties and ble_ssings. You then go fortified by 
 prayer from your chamber to the family below, 
 with a placid countenance, and a still more 
 placid heart. If any domestic annoyances arise, 
 you are thus prepared to triumph over them. 
 And there is a mysterious influence by which 
 the serenity and good-nature of one heart are 
 transr^iitted to all surrounding hearts. As you 
 speak in kind and pleasant tones to the family ; 
 as y )u are continually active in making peace 
 1/ /' -n keeping peace ; in preventing, as far as 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 241 
 
 possible, all occasions of annoyance ; and in 
 sacrificing, with alacrity, your own ease and 
 your own rights to make all things go smoothly, 
 — you maintain an unruffled state of mind, 
 which most richly compensates you for every 
 act of self-denial. The reward comes with the 
 duty. It is surprising what an influence one 
 really warm-hearted, cheerful, disinterested 
 person may thus have upon a whole family. I 
 once heard it said of a certain child, " There can 
 be no sorrow where she is. She has the fac- 
 ulty of making every thing go pleasantly, and 
 every one feel happy." This should be the 
 character of every Christian child ; and how 
 much more effectual, in disseminating an at- 
 mosphere of enjoyment, may be the efforts of a 
 Christian mother. 
 
 If any mother will set out, perseveringly and 
 prayerfully, in this course of life, resisting every 
 emotion of discontent, cultivating, day after 
 day and hour after hour, a cheerful and happy 
 spirit, contending against every wrong feeling, 
 and cherishing every thing that is lovely and 
 of good report, with an effort, never intermitted, 
 to keep a smile upon her countenance and 
 peace in her heart, — she will soon gain such 
 control over herself, and get into such a habit 
 of being happy that hardly any thing can in- 
 
 a 
 
242 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 terrupt her joy. If sh'e is sick, she will be 
 happy. If well, happy. She will be happy at 
 home or abroad, at work or at rest, alone or in 
 company. When young she will be happy, and 
 when old she will be happy. And when a 
 dying hour comes, and she looks forward to a 
 home in heaven, while others weep, she will 
 rejoice. 
 
 " Rejoice evermore," says the apostle Paul. 
 This is a divine command ; but is one that we 
 can not obey without making direct efforts to 
 cultivate the spirit that it enjoins. The mother 
 must then carefully and prayerfully cultivate 
 this spirit of joy. A depressed and gloomy 
 spirit she must resist. It is the spirit of Satan, 
 not of God. It is the element of the world of 
 woe, not of the home of the angel. It is said of 
 the celebrated Wilberforce, that he so carefully, 
 in the early part of his life, watched over his 
 own heart, carefully subduing all emotions of 
 vanity, ambition, selfishness, and irritability, 
 that in the latter part of his life he seemed to 
 have risen above temptation. In respect to 
 those sins which so much disturb the peace of 
 ordinary minds, the struggle with him seemed 
 to be almost over, and the victory complete. 
 The closing years of his life were like the calm 
 and golden glory of a summer's evening. Not 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 243 
 
 a cloud obscured the horizon of his joys. He 
 was just as happy as the days were long. His 
 children and his grandchildren clustered around 
 him, feeling that his presence dispelled almost 
 every sorrow. His favorite passage of Scrip- 
 ture was, " Be careful for nothing, but in every 
 thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanks- 
 giving, let your requests be made known unto 
 God ; and the peace of God, whicli passeth all 
 understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds 
 through Jesus Christ." Now, I can not doubt 
 that it is in the power of almost every person, 
 by the same culture, to attain the same rich 
 and heavenly joy. 
 
 Many persons are unhappy who are sur- 
 rounded with almost every earthly blessing ; 
 and many are very happy, who are deprived of 
 almost every earthly good. Our happiness de- 
 pends far more upon the state of our hearts 
 than upon any thing else. Cultivate, then, a 
 right state of heart, and you will almost surely 
 have a happy life. And do not think that you 
 have any right to be unhappy. If you pass an 
 unhappy day, in gloom and depression, you 
 should repent of it, and ask God's forgiveness, 
 and seek his aid, that you may sin so no more. 
 Such a day must be a misspent day. Your 
 gloom must have dishonored the religion j'ou 
 
244 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 profess. It must have marred the happiness of 
 your friends, your husband, your children, and 
 of all your domestic circle. And it must not 
 only have prevented the possibility of any vig- 
 orous efforts in doing good, but the influence of 
 your gloomy example must have repelled others 
 from religion. 
 
 Therefore make it a daily duty to be cheer- 
 ful. Pray that you may be cheerful ; meditate 
 upon your blessings ; look upon the bright side 
 of every thing; and carefully study your own 
 heart, that you may ascertain what those feel- 
 ings are which disturb the tranquillity of your 
 mind, and should therefore be checked, and 
 what those emotions are which are satisfying 
 and pleasurable, and should therefore be culti- 
 vated. You probably have no idea how much 
 your usefulness and happiness depend upon the 
 careful cultivation of a cheerful spirit. 
 
 3. Kindness. The spirit of religion is the 
 spirit of self-sacrifice, of giving up our own 
 convenience, and relinquishing our own rights, 
 that we may promote the happiness of others. 
 We are thus to endeavor, not only to secure 
 the happiness of those we love, but also to pro- 
 mote the happiness of those who are unkind to 
 us, whose characters and manners are disagree- 
 able. We are instructed in the Bible, that we 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 245 
 
 must in this respect imitate God, "who maketh 
 his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and 
 sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." 
 Now we must diligently practice this sentiment 
 ourselves, and diligently inculcate it upon our 
 children. Teach them that it is by no means 
 enough, that we love them that love us ; that 
 we are kind to those who are kind to us. Our 
 kindness must be a state of the heart, an es- 
 tablished principle of universal application. 
 Wherever we. can confer a favor, we must do 
 it gladly, whether they who receive it are de- 
 serving or undeserving, and we must thank 
 God for the opportunity of thus doing good. 
 
 We must remember that an act of kindness 
 however small, if it proceeds from sincere good- 
 will, is pleasing to God. We must teach this 
 truth to our children. A little child, for exam- 
 ple, is seated at a corner of the fireplace, on a 
 cold winter morning. It is a snug corner, — the 
 pleasantest seat in the room. With an enter- 
 taining book in her hand she is enjoying her 
 pleasant position. Her brother comes in from 
 the cold. At once, perhaps, the thought arises 
 in her mind, " I got this seat first, and have a 
 right to it. It is so comfortable that I can not 
 think of leaving it." This is the selfish spirit 
 of earth and sin. But she repels this thought 
 
246 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 The spirit of Christianity and heaven springs 
 up in her heart, and, immediately rising from 
 her seat, she affectionately says, " Here brother, 
 you look very cold. Take this warm seat. 1 
 
 THE PLEASANT SEAT. 
 
 am quite warm, and will move a little further 
 from the fire." 
 
 Now, God looks down upon that act, and is 
 pleased with it. It is acting like God. Angels 
 look down and love such a spirit, and say, 
 " That is the spirit of heaven ; there is a child 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 247 
 
 whom we should wish to have associated with 
 us here." 
 
 This spirit you should manifest at all times, 
 and on all occasions, and thus set the example 
 of it to your children. Teach them to be ever 
 ready to do all in their power to make others 
 happy. When with their brothers and sisters, 
 or with their associates at school, they must be 
 ever ready in all things to relinquish their own 
 plans to gratify others. A plate of apples is 
 brought into the room. One is larger and 
 fairer than the rest. Teach them not to choose 
 that one for themselves, but to select it kindly 
 though unostentatiously, for their brother, or 
 their sister, or the friend who has come to visit 
 them. — Some play is proposed. Teach them 
 to relinquish their own preference, for the 
 choice of others. So, in every thing in which 
 it is not wrong to yield, teach them to give up 
 their own wishes, that they may gratify others. 
 
 We must be careful, however, that this 
 amiable and yielding disposition does not de- 
 generate into indecision and fickle-mindedness. 
 We are never to yield in the least degree where 
 it is wrong to do so. Whatever we think to 
 be our duty, that we must mildly and kindly, 
 but ftrmly resolve to do, at all hazards. We 
 must not say, "It is a little sin, and I will in- 
 
248 THE MOTHER AT .HOME. 
 
 dulge in it to gratify others." Remember that 
 the time is near when we must appear before 
 God's bar ; and he will not deem it an excuse 
 for displeasing him, that we did it to please our 
 friends or associates. These temptations we 
 must resist ; and God exposes us to them that 
 by resistance we may strengthen in our hearts 
 the principle of obedience to him. 
 
 A person may have the most amiable dispo- 
 sition iri the world, — the kindest and the most 
 gentle, — and yet possess such a degree of deci- 
 sion of character as to be willing to encounter 
 any opposition and any obloquy rather than do 
 the least wrong. This was the character of 
 our Savior. He was willing to leave heaven, 
 and all the joys of heaven, and to suffer and die 
 upon the cross, that he might do us good. All 
 this he could do for those who did not love him ; 
 who were his enemies, and who, with hatred 
 and insult, nailed him to the cross. Such fear- 
 ful sacrifices as these our Savior could make to 
 promote the happiness of others. And yet there 
 never was any other person in the world, who 
 had so much decision of character as he. No 
 earthly motive could induce him to do any thing 
 in the least degree wrong. 
 
 We must all possess the spirit of Christ, if we 
 would be his disciples. We must imitate him in 
 
FRUITS OF PJETY. 249 
 
 his self-denying kindness ; in his forgetfulness 
 of his own comfort, that he might promote the 
 happiness of others ; and also in his conscien- 
 tious discharge of duty at all hazards. To cul- 
 tivate this disposition, is one important part of 
 ihe Christian conflict. 
 
 4. Politeness. Some* persons may be sur- 
 prised in finding politeness mentioned as one 
 of the fruits and evidences of piety. You have, 
 perhaps, ever been accustomed to regard polite- 
 ness as one of those fashionable graces which 
 belong rather to the gay and thoughtless, than 
 to the serious and devotional. But the truth is, 
 that politeness is one of the most important of 
 Christian virtues. " Be courteous," is one of 
 the injunctions of the Bible. Indeed, the Bible 
 contains the most perfect rules of politeness 
 known in the world ; and it enforces the ob- 
 servance of those rules, as of infinite import- 
 ance. The most perfect definition of politeness 
 that I have ever seen, is " real kindness kindly 
 expressed." Politeness does not consist in 
 flourishing manners and airs, artificially ac- 
 quired. It is the natural expression of amiable 
 feeling. If we carefully cherish the feelings to 
 which I have alluded under the head of kind- 
 ness, and, with real and unostentatious benevo- 
 lence, treat all with whom we associate accord- 
 
250 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ing to those principles, we shall be truly polite. 
 Our manners will be pleasing to all persons. 
 And persons who have not these feelings, and 
 wish to appear polite, will attain only to the 
 empty and lifeless form. Indeed, it is hard to 
 conceive how one can be a Christian, who is 
 not polite. The Christian character is certainly 
 very defective, where this grace is wanting ; for 
 it implies the absence of the most lovely traits 
 of the mind and of the heart. 
 
 A writer in one of the apocryphal books says, 
 " A gracious word is better than a gift;" and it 
 is indeed true, that some persons will confer a 
 favor in so repulsive a way that it gives you pain 
 rather than pleasure to receive it. Our real 
 kindness must be kindly expressed. If it be 
 not so, we shall often give more pain than pleas- 
 ure by that which we intended as kindness. 
 
 Let the mother then teach her children, both 
 by precept and example to be always polite 
 Let her feel real kindness for all, and express 
 the kindness that she feels in a kind manner. 
 Let her inculcate these principles upon her 
 children. Show them plainly that both points 
 are essential. It is not enough that there should 
 be a substantial feeling of kindness in the heart ; 
 it must be kindly expressed. On the other 
 hand it is not enough that there should be kind 
 
FRUITS OF PJETY. 
 
 251 
 
 expression in words or acts ; — there must be 
 kind feeling in the heart. 
 
 This distinction may be made very clear to 
 the youngest child by the following example. 
 I was once riding with a clergyman, when we 
 met a poor, lame man walking along the road. 
 The clergyman thought it would be a deed of 
 kindness to help 
 him on his way, ^^^/^ 
 and, stopping his ^./'ji^ 
 horse, said, "Here, 
 you lame man, get 
 in here!" The 
 poor man was glad 
 of a ride, and got 
 in. The clergy- 
 man took no fur- 
 ther notice of him, 
 but employed his <^ 
 mind with his own 
 thoughts. Occa- 
 sionally the poor man would make some re- 
 mark ; but no attention was paid to what he 
 said, unless it was necessary to answer him, 
 and then the reply was a short yes or no. At 
 length we arrived at the place v^^here the man 
 wished to get out. As he left the carriage, he 
 very warmly thanked the clergyman for his 
 
 THE LAME MAN. 
 
252 THE MOTHER AT HOME.. 
 
 kindness in giving him the ride. Not a word, 
 however, was said in reply to his thanks ; but 
 the clergyman merely drove on. Now, the un- 
 kind manner in which this favor was conferred, 
 undoubtedly gave far more pain to the poor 
 man than the ride gave him pleasure. It was, 
 indeed, conferring a favor in an extremely un- 
 feeling and unchristian way. The clergyman 
 was exceedingly impolite. 
 
 Suppose now that he had added to the sub- 
 stantial favor which he intended to confer the 
 charm of kindness of manner in conferring it. 
 He would have said, " Friend, I have a spare 
 seat in the carriage here — will you not get in 
 and ride a little way ?" He would then have 
 cheerfully and socially conversed with the man, 
 and manifested some interest in his history. 
 And when the man left the carriage, and thanked 
 him for the ride, he would have replied, "You 
 are very welcome, sir. I am very happy to 
 have had it in my power to assist you. Good 
 evening, sir." This manner of conferring the 
 favor would have cheered and gratified the 
 lame man, and he would have gone to his home 
 with happy feelings. 
 
 It is surprising what a vast amount of happi- 
 ness may be conferred in a long life, by a kind 
 manner of doing kind things. It is by a care- 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 253 
 
 ful attention to these little things, as some con- 
 sider them, that we are to make those happy 
 who are around us. As our whole Vi^e is made 
 up of such little things as moments, so is the 
 happiness or the unhappiness of life dependent 
 upon the pains or pleasures with which these 
 swiftly-flying moments may be filled. And it 
 is invariably true, that, that person is the hap- 
 piest, who does the most to promote the happi- 
 ness of others. 
 
 A selfish man is always an unhappy man. 
 And a selfish child is always an unhappy child : 
 as she sits alone in her corner, eating her apple, 
 which she refuses to share with brother or sister ; 
 as she eagerly takes the most comfortable chair 
 in the room ; as she grasps the new book, re- 
 solved to have the pleasure of reading it first, 
 — she is, and must be, unhappy. Conscience 
 within her is disquieted, and her countenance 
 shows in its unamiable expression what an un- 
 comfortable heart she has. And just so it is 
 with those, who have passed the period of child- 
 hood. The man or woman who has grown up 
 with a selfish spirit, is friendless and joyless. 
 "Such persons are often to be seen. They live 
 as it were alone in the world. They love no 
 one, and no one loves them. And, after a heart- 
 ess life, they die, and no one laments them- 
 
254 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Let children be trained up then to cultivate 
 a courteous spirit, to speak in kind tones of 
 voice, to use a gentle and pleasant way of do- 
 ing kind things, and it will promote their hap- 
 piness every day that they live. It will tend 
 to make all around them happy. Others will 
 imitate their example, and imbibe their spirit. 
 The spirit of politeness will vastly increase 
 our influence too in turning others to the Sa- 
 vior. It will confer honor upon the religion of 
 Christ ; for the world judges of Christianity, not 
 so much by the instructions of the Savior, as by 
 the lives of its professors. 
 
 There is nothing in this world worth having 
 which can be attained without effort. If you 
 would possess the grace of Christian politeness, 
 you must make it a part of your Christian duty 
 and a subject of prayer. You must resolve in 
 the morning, that you will endeavor through the 
 day kindly to manifest kind feelings. And at 
 night, in self-examination, you must inquire 
 where you have failed in this duty ; what op- 
 portunities you have enjoyed where you might 
 have contributed to the happiness of others, but 
 in which you have failed to do so. This is ther 
 true spirit of heaven. If we are ever to enter 
 heaven, w^e must have this spirit. And it is 
 here, in this world of sin, that we are to triumph 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 255 
 
 " ' ■ » • 
 
 over temptation, and subdue passion, and at- 
 tain all those lovely traits of character which 
 will nfiake us happy companions for angels, and 
 for the spirits of the just made perfect. 
 
 5. Fidelity in Utile duties. One great error 
 which nearly all Christians fall into, is not be- 
 ing sufficiently punctilious in the performance 
 of what are usually called the little duties of life. 
 We are not sufficiently careful to carry out the 
 principles of Christianity into all our relations 
 as husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, 
 parents and children, neighbors and friends. If 
 you, my reader, whatever your situation in life 
 may be, have sincerely commenced a Christian 
 life, you must make it your daily effort to please 
 God in the performance of every duty, small 
 and great. And it is by your attention to 
 things which many persons deem trivial, that 
 you can most effectually glorify God. 
 
 Children particularly are apt to imagine that 
 religious obligation is something far removed 
 above all the ordinary duties of life. They sel- 
 dom connect the idea of Christian duty with 
 such subjects as order, personal neatness, po- 
 liteness, and other similar points of what are 
 called sometimes minor morals. But you can 
 not too assiduously teach them that the princi- 
 ple of piety, if they possess it at all, is to reg- 
 
256 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 ulate all their conduct, and lead them to do 
 right in little things as well as great things. 
 
 In fact, the little things, with children, are 
 the great things ; for in their various bearings 
 and relations they involve the highest moral 
 principles. Here is a boy for instance, whose 
 mother has appropriated to his use a couple of 
 drawers, in which he is to keep his clothes ; 
 and she has enjoined it upon him to have his 
 clothes neatly folded, and always placed in or- 
 der. Some day she goes into his room, and, as 
 she opens the draw^ers, behold, every thing is in 
 disorder. In haste to get some article of cloth- 
 ing, the boy has rudely drawn it out, and 
 thrown other things in, unfolded, and now every 
 thing is in confusion. The mother is deeply 
 pained that her son should be forming such negli- 
 gent habits. It has sent an emotion of real un- 
 happiness to her heart. Her own valuable time 
 is occupied in repairing the effects of his indo- 
 ence and neglect, and the boy himself is grow* 
 ing up with habits which will extremely dimin- 
 ish his efficiency and usefulness as a man. And 
 now that can not be called a little sin, which 
 produces such consequences, which makes a 
 mother unhappy, and increases her cares and 
 labors, and which is forming in the child habits 
 which will render him unfit for the future du- 
 
fhuiTk5 of riETY. 257 
 
 ties of life. As well may a man who sets fire 
 to a city, say that it is a little sin, because he 
 merely kindled a very little fire with a few coals. 
 Teach children then that the eye of God is 
 upon them in every thing that they do ; and 
 that if they really love him, and wish to please 
 him, they will endeavor to be faithful in all 
 their duties, and in small things as well as great. 
 
 The mother must feel this truth herself also 
 and apply it to her own case. Few persons 
 imagine how much ones usefulness and happi- 
 ness in life depend upon their cultivating a 
 habit of neatness, order, and system, in all that 
 they do. Some ladies will accomplish twice 
 as much all through life as some others, simply 
 because, in their childhood, they acquired the 
 habit of keeping every thing in its proper place. 
 Go into their house, and every thing appears in 
 order. There is no hurry or bustle. There 
 seems to be no effort in keeping things in order. 
 Other ladies, who have been trained up under 
 diflferent habits, either give up in despair, and 
 indolently sit down in the midst of the confusion 
 which reigns in their house, or they toil and 
 hurry through life, never enjoying any quiet« 
 ness or leisure, and always engaged in putting 
 things in order, but never able to keep them so. 
 
 Do not, then, allow children to imagine that 
 
 R 
 
258 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 it is a little sin to be untidy or negligent. It is 
 one of the most important of their duties to cul- 
 tivate correct habits in these respects. Teach 
 them that they may thus please God, gratify 
 their parents, adorn religion, and not only pre- 
 pare for future usefulness, but be useful every 
 day and every hour. 
 
 We are very apt to think that if we were in 
 some situation different from that in which we 
 are actually placed, we might do a great deal 
 of good. The young often suppose that if they 
 were out in the world, they might, in various 
 ways, as men and women, serve their Maker ; 
 but they imagine that they can not do much, if. 
 any thing, to serve God and promote his glory, 
 unless in some important station. But God 
 wishes to have his friends placed in all the dif- 
 ferent positions in society, that the power of reli- 
 gion may be exhibited in all. He desires that 
 there should be merchants, and mechanics, and 
 sailors, pious fathers and mothers, and pious 
 children. And the child who is pious, may as 
 acceptably serve God in the situation in which 
 she is placed, as any other persons in the situa- 
 tion in which God has placed them. It is not 
 the station in society that we occupy, to which 
 God looks, but the fidelity with which w^e dis- 
 charge the duties of the position in which he 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 259 
 
 has placed us. And the faithful, Christian con 
 duct, even of the smallest child, is as acceptable 
 to him, and perhaps as useful in the accomplish- 
 ment of his purposes, as the zeal and energy of 
 the most devoted Christian martyr. 
 
 Teach these things diligently to your chil- 
 dren, and train them up in the habit of neatness 
 and order in all that they do. When they come 
 home from school, let them be taught always 
 themselves to hang up the cap, the bonnet, and 
 the cloak in their proper places ; and to put 
 their books away. Teach them to shut the 
 door after them when they pass out or in. 
 Teach them to keep all iheir picture-books and 
 playthings in order. Show them that it is their 
 duty to attend to all these little things, not as 
 matters of trifling importance, but as Christian 
 duties of the greatest moment, demanding con- 
 stant watchfulness and care. 
 
 These are the ways in which God wishes 
 that the young should evince the power of reli- 
 gion, and glorify him. It is by a conscientious 
 attention to such duties as these, performed be- 
 cause they wish to do that which is pleasing in 
 God's sight, that they are to- exhibit the fruits 
 of piety. They must aim, every day, to acquire 
 a character of perfect fidelity in the performance 
 of all these duties ; rememberinor that nothinor 
 
2G0 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 which tends to the perfection of character is 
 too trivial to call for their efforts and their 
 prayers. The best evidence which either the 
 aged or the young can give of piety, is the con- 
 scientious endeavor to be faithful in the dis- 
 charge of every duty, vi'hatever it may be. 
 Thus we glorify God, and honor the Christian 
 religion, in the best manner. 
 
 This is what is meant by the text, " By their 
 fruits shall ye know them." The way in which 
 we are to judge of the piety of all persons, is by 
 their conduct. If a man or woman professes 
 to be a Christian, and yet is unfaithful in the 
 discharge of the ordinary duties of life, the pro- 
 fession is vain. It is so in youth, and it is so 
 in age. The best evidence of piety which any 
 one can give, is the evidence afforded by the 
 devout Christian fidelity with which he performs 
 all the duties of life, both great and small. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 FilUITS OF FIETY CONTINUED. 
 
 We continue in this chapter the enumeration 
 of the several traits of Christian character, 
 which the mother should endeavor to cultivate 
 in herself, and in those under her charge. 
 
 1. Guard against a censorious spirit. A 
 censorious spirit is a very common sin. And 
 it is one to which females, from their compara- 
 tively retired mode of life, are peculiarly ex- 
 posed. There is hardly any sin against which 
 the Bible warns us in more earnest and impres- 
 sive terms. The evils and mischiefs produced 
 by an ungoverned tongue — the ruin it produces 
 in alienating friends, kindling animosities, and 
 disturbing in every way the peace and harmony 
 of society — are topics which have called forth 
 some of the most energetic expressions of the 
 inspired penmen. 
 
 " The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. 
 So is the tongue among our members, that it 
 defileth the whole bodv, and setteth on fire the 
 
262 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 course of nature, and is set on fire of hell.*' 
 " If any man among you seem to be religious, 
 and bridleth not his tongue, this man's religion 
 is vain." 
 
 Such are the terms in which the sacred wri- 
 ters speak of the importance of setting a guard 
 upon one's tongue. One single person, of a 
 censorious disposition, will often keep a whole 
 church or neighborhood in turmoil. And every 
 reader of this book has probably often seen 
 great unhappiness produced by the unkind re- 
 marks or slanderous reports which others have 
 circulated. Indeed, there are very few persons 
 who have not often had hours of suffering to 
 bear in consequence of unguarded remarks 
 which they have made, and which have, per- 
 haps, been slightly exaggerated, and carried to 
 other ears, by those who are always ready to 
 do mischief Solomon tells us that if one 
 speaks evil of the king, the "bird of the air 
 shall carry the voice, and that which hath 
 wings shall tell the matter ;" by which poetic 
 expressions he would teach us, that there is al- 
 ways some one ready to carry evil tidings. If 
 you say any thing against another person, it is 
 very probable it will be repeated, with exaggera- 
 tions, to that individual. One will repeat it to 
 another, till the story, gathering in size as it 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 263 
 
 goes, like the balls of snow which boys roll to- 
 gether in the early spring, reaches the ear of 
 the person against whom the remark was made. 
 Then ensues recrimination, unkind treatment, 
 a quarrel. Others are drawn in. And it may 
 be truly said, in the language of the Bible, 
 "Behold how great a matter a little fire kin- 
 dleth!" The amount of suffering which is 
 caused in this world, simply by evil speaking, is 
 inconceivable. Every school, every church, 
 every neighborhood, is ravaged by it. A very 
 little observation will show you how great is 
 this evil. 
 
 Let the mother explain this subject to her 
 children, and caution them against this danger. 
 Lead them to form the resolution that they will 
 never allow themselves to speak against any 
 one, unless it is clearly their duty to do so. 
 Set them a good example, too, yourselves in 
 this respect. Resolve that you will nip a cen- 
 sorious spirit in the very bud. If you do this, 
 it will save you hours of suffering. If, on the 
 other hand, you allow yourself to speak freely 
 of the faults of others — if you report the vari- 
 ous stories you hear — you will be continually 
 in trouble yourself, and will always be involv- 
 ing other persons in difficulty. Resolve that 
 you will not say any thing against any absent 
 
264 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 person — except in cases where it is most un- 
 doubtedly your duty to do so — which you 
 would not be willing to have repeated to that 
 person. 
 
 There are cases in which it is our duty to 
 speak of the characters of others, and, if their 
 characters are bad, to say so. It may be our 
 duty to warn our children against a vicious and 
 dangerous acquaintance. And when such an 
 occasion clearly arises, we must faithfully per- 
 form the duty, however unpleasant it may be. 
 But such cases are comparatively rare, while 
 the fault of evil speaking is one of the most 
 general and inexcusable in the world. 
 
 When this habit has once been formed, it is 
 almost impossible to eradicate it. A person 
 who has become a thorough gossip, retaihng 
 all the slander which she can collect, is almost 
 beyond the hope of amendment. She will, 
 without the least compunction of conscience, 
 throw suspicions upon the fairest reputation. 
 No character is secure from her backbiting as- 
 sailment. She becomes blind to her own de- 
 graded character, as the village gossip and 
 slanderer. It is surprising how unconscious 
 such a person may be of her odious fault. 
 When she hears any thing about evil speaking, 
 she has been so much in the habit of looking 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 2G5 
 
 at the faults of others, and not at her own., that 
 she does not think of making any self-apphca- 
 tion, out looks around to see upon whom of her 
 neighbors she can lay the charge. 
 
 We have all so many faults of our own to 
 mourn over and to correct, that we should be 
 exceedingly tender of the failings of others 
 And when we see any thing in the conduct of 
 our friends or acquaintances, which is wron^ 
 or disagreeable, we should try to avoid thost 
 things ourselves, and at the same time be very 
 careful and not mention them to others. It ir 
 one of the best compliments which can be paid 
 to any lady, to say of her that she was never 
 known to speak ill of others. Resolve, with 
 the grace of God assisting, that this shall be 
 your character, and make every effort to form 
 the same character in your children. Show 
 them that such a habit will multiply their 
 friends ; that it will save them many hours of 
 heart-ache ; and that, all their life long, it will 
 greatly add to their usefulness and their enjoy- 
 ment. 
 
 2. Teach your children to cultivate, as one 
 of the fruits of j)i&ty, scrupulous delicacy and 
 purity of mind. The conscience of children 
 will be a very sensitive guide upon this subject, 
 if it is in a healthy state. Teach them that any 
 
266 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 conversation which they would be unwiUing to 
 engage in, or to repeat in the presence of their 
 mother, they ought to refuse to hear, u their 
 associates at any time commence such conver- 
 sation, they ought to leave them at all hazards, 
 whether they are offended by it or not. They 
 cannot be too careful respecting the words that 
 they use, or the ideas that they allow to enter 
 their minds. The delicacy of the mind is very 
 easily impaired, and, when once impaired, the 
 injury is irreparable. Even in the higher walks 
 of life females are often met with who seem to 
 have no sense of propriety. They are always 
 introducing topics of conversation which are 
 revolting to the refined mind, while they them- 
 selves have become so obtuse in their feelings, 
 that they appear entirely unconscious of any 
 impropriety. Other ladies have an instinctive 
 modesty and delicacy, which is their brightest 
 ornament. You never hear from them a word, 
 or an allusion, which is not pure and pleasing. 
 The appropriate simplicity of their dress, the 
 softened tones of their voice, the topics of con- 
 versation which they introduce, and the gentle 
 expression of countenance, all unite in testify- 
 ing the spotless purity that reigns in their hearts. 
 Who can see such a lady, and not esteem and 
 .love her? The indelicate of either sex are 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 267 
 
 rebuked by her presence. Even indelicate 
 ladies (if it be not a perversion of language to 
 call one a lady who has an impure mind) are 
 careful, in her presence, to put a guard upon 
 their tongues. 
 
 " Keep thy heart v^^ith all diligence," is one 
 of the cautions which God has given us, and 
 the happiness of every young Christian depends 
 more upon the cultivation of this virtue, than 
 we often imagine. To find, as we go on through 
 life, that our thoughts naturally dwell upon ob- 
 jects which are pure and pleasant, will be one 
 of the richest sources of our earthly enjoy- 
 ment. We must necessarily pass many, very 
 nnany hours in life, with our own thoughts. If 
 our thoughts are such that they give us un- 
 easiness of conscience, and we must be con- 
 tinually struggling against them, we shall have 
 many days of secret, but real sorrow. If, on 
 the other hand, by a careful cultivation of the 
 heart, w^e have cherished only those thoughts 
 which conscience approves, we shall probably 
 move about, in our daily employments, in tran- 
 quil happiness. 
 
 Explain these principles to your children^ 
 and endeavor to lead them to resolve that they 
 will not at school, or anywhere else, engage in 
 conversation, or listen to conversation, which 
 
268 THE MOTHER at home. 
 
 they would not be willing to repeat in the 
 presence of their father and their mother. Let 
 that be with them the test of propriety. Say 
 to them that if at any time they are in doubt, 
 whether the conversation which they are hear- 
 ing is proper or not, they must ask themselves, 
 " Am I willing to repeat this to the family, at 
 the tea-table, this evening? If they are not, 
 then they must refuse to hear it. If they can 
 not turn the conversation, they should leave the 
 company. Teach them to remember that God 
 is always present ; that his eye is upon them ; 
 that he hears every word that is uttered ; that 
 he sees every thought of the heart, and that as 
 they prize his approbation, they must resolve 
 to cherish, with the utmost care, purity of 
 heart. 
 
 3. A very scrupulous observance of truth 
 should he one of the prominent fruits of piety. 
 To some it may seem that this is almost a need- 
 less direction. In fact parents are very slow to 
 be convinced that their children ever tell false- 
 hoods at all. It is an almost invariable rule, 
 that all mothers believe that their children al- 
 ways speak the truth, and it is a rule almost 
 equally invariable, that they are all mistaken. 
 Children generally will say what is false, until 
 they are taught to speak the truth. Sometimes 
 
FIIUI'J'S OF PIETY. 269 
 
 they are thus taugfit very early ; and in such 
 cases the mother, ibrgetting the infantile false- 
 hoods, says that she never knew her child to tell 
 a lie. 
 
 Even in later years it will not do generally 
 to trust to any natural love of truth, to save 
 our children from the sin of falsehood. We 
 must often, in our conversations with them, 
 present this subject to their attention, not in 
 the way of suspicion and fault-finding, but of 
 confidence and good-will. We must explain to 
 them how God regards the sin of falsehood, and 
 cite and explain those passages of Scripture 
 which relate to the subject. 
 
 The mother must herself, also, always be 
 honest, and frank, and open, in all her dealings 
 with all her children. Never combine, as 
 many mothers do, with an older child, to de- 
 ceive a younger one. If you do you must ex- 
 pect that 3^our children will combine together 
 to deceive you. Be honest with them all ; and 
 in your dealings with your friends, and neigh- 
 bors, and acquaintances, be open and sincere. 
 Thus you will lead your children in the right 
 way. 
 
 4. The spirit of forgiveness is one of the 
 fruits of piety. The mother must cultivate this 
 spirit herself, and inculcate it upon her children. 
 
270 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 Teach them that the rule of Christianity is, 
 " Forgive your enemies, and do good to those 
 that despitefuUy use you and persecute you/' 
 
 The mother must inculcate this principle, 
 like all the others, by her own example. And 
 next to her own example, the narration of in- 
 stances of a forgiving spirit will have a greater 
 influence upon children, than any general pre- 
 cepts or exhortations. 
 
 I will here, for example, relate such an in- 
 stance. There was once a rich merchant who 
 had many peculiarities of character which ex- 
 posed him to ridicule. He was a benevolent 
 man, but he was of such eccentric habits, that 
 a witty writer could easily represent him in a 
 ludicrous light. 
 
 A certain neighbor of his, without any just 
 provocation, published a most insulting pamph- 
 let against him, calling him Billy Button, and 
 holding him up to the laughtQ^r of the world, in 
 the most contemptuous and ludicrous attitude 
 in which he could be represented. - The publi- 
 cation of such a pamphlet was as gross and 
 cutting an insult as could be inflicted, for there 
 is nothing that the human mind so much recoils 
 from, as derision and scorn. The merchant 
 read the libelous pamphlet, and simply remark- 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 271 
 
 ed that the writer would probably live to re- 
 pent of its publication. 
 
 Some one informed the writer of the pamph- 
 let of the remark that the merchant had made. 
 He considered it as an angry threat of ven- 
 geance, and said that he would take good care 
 to keep out of the merchant's power. But in a 
 few years, in the course of business, the writer 
 of the libel unavoidably became deeply indebted 
 to the merchant, whom he had so wantonly in- 
 jured, and became a bankrupt. The injured 
 man now had his insulter in his power. For 
 unless he would give up the debt, the writer 
 could never enter into business again, and 
 must always remain a poor man. 
 
 By much exertion and after many delays, the 
 unfortunate debtor effected a settlement of his af- 
 fairs, and obtained a release from his other cred- 
 itors ; but how could he go to the merchant 
 whom he had made the laughing-stock of the 
 public, and who had declared that the libeler 
 would yet live to repent of his publication ? It 
 seemed folly to hope that he would forget the 
 wrong, and favor the wrong-doer. But the 
 claims of a suffering wife and children at last 
 compelled him to make the application. Hum- 
 bled by misery, he presented himself at the 
 
272 
 
 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 counting-room of 
 the injured mer- 
 chant. The mer- 
 chant was at his 
 desk alone, and as 
 he turned around 
 and saw his libeler 
 before him, his first 
 words were, " Take 
 a seat, sir." The 
 guilty man, trem- 
 bling with appre- 
 hension of the re- 
 pulse which he so 
 richly deserved, told the piteous tale of his mis- 
 fortunes, and presented his certificate of release, 
 signed by his other creditors, though he had but 
 a very faint hope of obtaining the signature of 
 one he had so deeply wronged. 
 
 The merchant received the certificate, and, 
 as he glanced his eye over it, said, "You wrote 
 a pamphlet against me once, I believe, sir." 
 The wretched man could make no reply. The 
 merchant, saying no more, wrote something 
 upon the certificate, and handed it back to him. 
 The poor debtor in despair received the certifi- 
 cate, expecting to find written upon it some- 
 thing expressive of indignation. But how 
 
FRUITS OF IMETV. 273 
 
 great was his surprise to see, in fair, round 
 characters, the signature of the merchant, re- 
 leasing him from his debt! " I make it a rule," 
 said the forgiving man, " never to refuse sign- 
 ing the release of an honest man; and I never 
 heard that you were any thing else." The 
 surprise and joy were too much for the poor 
 creditor, and he burst into tears. "Ah!" said 
 the merchant, "my saying was true. I said 
 that you would live to repent writing that pam- 
 phlet. I did not mean it as a threat. I only 
 meant that some day you would know me bet- 
 ter, and would repent that you had attempted 
 to injure me. I see that you repent it now." 
 " I do, indeed I do," exclaimed the grateful 
 man. " Well, well, my dear sir," said the mer- 
 chant, " you know me now. How do you get 
 on ? What are you going to do ?" 
 
 The unfortunate man replied, that having 
 obtained a release from his creditors, he had 
 friends who w^ould assist him in getting into 
 business again. 
 
 '•' But how are you to support your family in 
 the mean time ?" asked the merchant. 
 
 The man's answer was, that having given 
 up every farthing to his creditors, he had been 
 compelled to deprive his family of even com- 
 mon necessaries. '■ My dear sir," said the mer- 
 
 S 
 
274 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 chant, " this will never do — your wife and chil- 
 dren must not suffer. Be kind enough to take 
 this to your wife from me," handing him a fifty 
 dollar bill, " and keep up a good heart. All 
 will be well with you yet. Set to work with 
 energy, and you may yet see many days of 
 prosperity." The poor man w^as entirely over- 
 come by his emotions. He could not speak. 
 His feelings forbade all utterance, and burying 
 his face in his handkerchief, he went from the 
 I'oom sobbing like a child. 
 
 Stories which afford practical illustrations of 
 any moral principle, will generally exert a more 
 powerful influence upon the minds of children 
 than general instructions. The minds of the 
 hearers catch the spirit which the story exem- 
 plifies by a sort of moral sympathy. 
 
 The mother who is aware of this, will, in her 
 general reading, watch for incidents and pas- 
 sages which she can turn to good account in 
 interesting and instructing her children. These 
 she will read and explain to them at proper 
 times, and enforce the lessons which they are 
 calculated to teach, by additional remarks of 
 her own. 
 
 Teach your children thus in every way to 
 cultivate a forgiving spirit. Tell them that this 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 275 
 
 is the spirit of the Bible, the spirit of Christ. 
 No one who has any other spirit can safely 
 offer the prayer, " Forgive us our debts as we 
 forgive our debtors." 
 
 5. Cultivate in your children a taste for 
 pure and noble pleasures, instead of a love of 
 worldly gayety. 
 
 Pure and noble pleasures last. They wear 
 well. They leave no sting behind. The pleas- 
 ures of worldliness and gayety do not wear well. 
 They exhaust the powers of body and mind, 
 and all the capacities of enjoyment, prematurely, 
 and leave a sting behind. That is the reason 
 why the Word of God condemns them, and why 
 Christians abstain from them. 
 
 There is hardly any reproach more frequently 
 cast upon Christians than the charge of bigotry, 
 because they refuse to unite with the world in 
 these scenes of gayety. They are invited to a 
 ball, to the theater, or to a card-party, and yet 
 no persuasions can induce them to go. 
 
 " What can be the possible harm," it is said, 
 " in going to a ball ?" We go to a brightly- 
 illuminated hall. We have pleasant music to 
 gratify the ear. In graceful measures we beat 
 time to its cadences in the exhilarating dance. 
 After having thus passed a few hours of heart- 
 felt hilarity, we retire unharmed to our homesc 
 
276 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 " Now, what real objection can there be to this 
 amusement/' it is asked, "which is not founded 
 on ignorance and superstition ?''" 
 
 This is a very important question, and it de- 
 serves a very serious answer. To explain my 
 views upon this subject, let me suppose that you 
 have a son nineteen years of age, a very amia- 
 ble, correct, and promising young man. He is 
 the hope of the family ; attentive to his father 
 and mother, kind to his sisters ; all love him. 
 He is a clerk in a store, and is highly respected 
 by his employers. As you have known many 
 amiable young men, in such situations, ruined 
 by dissipation, you feel great solicitude for him. 
 He has so little of selfishness in his nature, and 
 is so willing to sacrifice his own inclinations to 
 oblige others, that, while he thus promises to be 
 one of the best and most useful of men, he is 
 much exposed to be led away by temptation. 
 
 Like an affectionate and dutiful son, as he is,. 
 he comes to his father some day, and says to 
 him, " Father, there is to be a ball to-night. All 
 my acquaintances are going, and, if you have 
 no objection, I should like to go also." 
 
 " Well, my son," says his father, " what time 
 does the ball commence ?" 
 
 " Between eight and nine o'clock in the eva- 
 ning," he replies. 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 277 
 
 " And at what hour will it close ?" the father 
 asks. 
 
 " They tell me," the son answers, " that they 
 will probably go home between two and three 
 o'clock in the morning." 
 
 " I suppose that wine will be circulated very 
 freely on the occasion ; will it not, my son ?" 
 
 " Why, yes, sir ; I suppose so ; but I hope 
 that I have resolution enough not to be guilty 
 of any excess." 
 
 " I trust that you have, my son. But do you 
 know of any who are going to the ball who 
 have the reputation of being intemperate ?" 
 
 " Yes, sir ; there will be several there who 
 are known to drink too much wine." 
 
 " Will there be many present who are con- 
 sidered generally dissolute in their habits ; so 
 much so that you would not like "to have them 
 for your acquaintances ?" 
 
 " There wmII be some such, sir, I suppose." 
 
 " It is rather dangerous," the father rejoins, 
 '• for a young man to be thrown into such com- 
 pany, in the midst of all the excitements of mu- 
 sic, and dancing, and wine. It will not be easy 
 to shake off acquaintances you may necessarih 
 tbrm there. 
 
 " I suppose, of course, too," adds the father, 
 
278 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 " that they have card-playing in some of the 
 rooms." 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 " Do they play for money ?" 
 
 *-' Some of them I believe do, sir, for small 
 sums." 
 
 " It is not uncommon," the father replies, 
 " under such circumstances, for persons to com- 
 mence v^'ith small sums and go on to greater. 
 Under the stimulus of play and wine, they 
 plunge deeper and deeper into the game, till the 
 dawn of morning finds them still with the cards 
 in their hands. Many a young man in these 
 scenes, commences the road to ruin. I have in' 
 my experience known a great number thus lost 
 to virtue, and who have brought hopeless 
 shame upon their parents and friends. 
 
 " You say, my son, that the ball will break up 
 about three o'clock in the morning. You can, 
 perhaps, get home and to your bed at half-past 
 three. You must rise at six o'clock in the 
 morning to get the store opened in season. 
 This allows you two hours and a half for sleep 
 — sleep which, from the previous excitement 
 must be feverish and unrefreshing. 
 
 " I counsel you therefore, my son," the father 
 continues, "not to go. By going into such 
 scenes you will be exposed to many tempta- 
 
FllUlTS OF I'lETY. 279 
 
 tions — the excitement of wine — the excitement 
 of many dangerous passions. You can hardly 
 avoid forming many very undesirable acquaint- 
 ances. You will be invited to the gaming-ta- 
 ble, and may thus commence the acquisition of 
 a taste for all the excitements of gambling. 
 
 " Many may be there, who, having no pleas- 
 ures except those of fashionable dissipation, will 
 be glad to secure you as an associate. Invita- 
 tions will multiply upon you. When a young 
 man once enters this vortex, it is difficult to get 
 out again. When you go to the store in the 
 morning, you will be languid and spiritless ; all 
 your energies will be exhausted. With aching 
 head, and bloodshot eyes, and trembling limbs, 
 you will have a day of mental depression, which 
 will much more than counterbalance all the en- 
 joyment of the night, and which will greatly dis- 
 qualify you from discharging your dut}'- to your 
 employers. 
 
 " It is for these reasons," the father con- 
 tinues, '•' that your parents are unwilling to have 
 you enter «uch scenes. We are satisfied that, 
 on the whole, instead of increasing, they greatly 
 diminish, the amount of human happiness. It 
 is on this account that we have always been 
 desirous that neither you nor your sisters should 
 acquire a taste for these pleasures ; for our own 
 
280 THE MOTHER AT HuME. 
 
 observation, as well as the testimony of the wise 
 and the good in all ages, has taught us that 
 these amusements, by breaking in upon the reg- 
 ular and peaceful enjoyment of domestic life, 
 expose those who engage in them to great temp- 
 tation, and by prematurely exhausting the men- 
 tal and bodily powers, and undermining the 
 constitution, seriously interfere with future 
 happiness, and lead to imminent danger. 
 
 '•' And when our neighbors have wondered 
 that we should so carefully keep you away from 
 such scenes of gayety— from amusements which 
 to them appeared innocent and pleasing — we 
 have replied, that it was our conviction, that 
 we could make you far happier by cultivating 
 in your heart a taste for a totally different class 
 of pleasures. 
 
 " Such pleasures, too, always leave a sting be- 
 hind them. Discontent and dissatisfaction al- 
 ways take possession of the soul, after a scene 
 of unseasonable and excessive gayety. This is 
 always the case, in all ranks and conditions of 
 life. Madame de Genlis, who moved in the 
 highest circles of Parisian life, and was familiar 
 with the gayeties of the Palais Royal, in the 
 highest of its splendor, remarked that the days 
 which succeeded brilliant entertainments were 
 always melancholy. 
 
FRUITS OF riETY. 281 
 
 " Therefore, my sod," the father continues, 
 " I counsel you not to go. Persevere in the 
 plan of life which you have heretofore laid down 
 for yourself. Come home, and spend the eve- 
 ning in quiet enjo3'ment with your mother, or 
 your sisters ; or by the perusal of some interest- 
 ing volume from the library, acquire a taste for 
 reading, and store your mind with useful knowl- 
 edge. At your usual hour retire to rest. You 
 will then rise in the morning fresh and vigorous, 
 and in good spirits you will go to your duties. 
 And as you see your associate in the adjoining- 
 store, who attended the ball, dozing in dejection, 
 and lounging the live-long day at his desk, you 
 will be thankful that you were more wise than 
 to sacrifice so much substantial good for a few 
 hours of midnight merriment. 
 
 "By persevering in this course," the father 
 continues, " you will more effectually secure to 
 yourself the confidence of business men. Your 
 credit will be better. Your prospects in life 
 will be better. You will soon be able to have 
 a home of your own. You will make that home 
 more happy. Your life will glide away with 
 far less danger of your falHng before the power 
 of temptation ; and, consequently, there will be 
 a far brighter prospect of your enjoying eternal 
 happiness beyond the grave." 
 
282 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 This is, in the main, the argument upon 
 which Christians rely, and have relied, during 
 all past ages, against the amusements and 
 gayeties of the world. They are fully convinced 
 that he who acquires a taste for such pleasures, 
 will find his earthly happiness greatly impaired, 
 and will be exposed to tem^ptations which will 
 greatly endanger his eternal well-being. 
 
 I have dwelt upon this subject more fully, be- 
 cause the young, unexperienced in the dangers 
 of the world, often wonder why their pious pa- 
 rents are so unwilling that they should acquire a 
 fondness for amusements which appear so inno- 
 cent and pleasing. But I think that any in- 
 genuous boy or girl, of fourteen or fifteen years 
 of age, may see the force of the above consid- 
 erations, and may be satisfied that Christians 
 have not, in their decision upon this subject, 
 acted without good reasons. 
 
 And here I do not intend to enter into the 
 question whether these amusements might not 
 be so far improved and refined as to obviate all 
 objections against them. I wish to refer to 
 them as they now are, and as they ever have 
 been, and as there is every prospect that they 
 will continue to be. 
 
 They are all of the same general character, 
 leading to peculiar temptations, from the in- 
 
FRUITS OF I'lETY. 283 
 
 dulgence of bad 4)assions, and the exposure of 
 those who engage in them to unworthy asso- 
 ciates. They all tend to destroy the taste for 
 those quiet, domestic enjoyments, which, when 
 cuhivated, grow brighter and brighter every 
 year, and which confer increasing solace and 
 joy when youth has fled, and old age, and sick- 
 ness, and misfortune come. Christian parents 
 endeavor to guard their children against ac- 
 quiring a taste for these pleasures, because they 
 foresee that these amusements will, in the end, 
 disappoint them ; and they can lead them in a 
 safer path, and one infinitely more promotive 
 of their happiness. 
 
 We have contemplated the influence of one 
 of these scenes of gayety upon a young man. 
 Let us now consider its eflects upon a mother 
 of a family, or a young lady. 
 
 In the first place in the mere preparation for 
 any assembly of worldly gayety and dissipation, 
 many hours are taken from the peaceful routine 
 of ordinary duties, in devotion to dress. Then 
 the temptation is almost irresistible, from the 
 strong rivalry which is called into exercise, to 
 make expenditures which can not well be af- 
 forded. And then, when the midnight scene of 
 gayety is at its height, and music's voluptuous 
 swell is loudest, and the smile on everv cheek 
 
284 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 is least clouded, how many secret sources of 
 chagrin are necessarily fostered, tiiough stu 
 diously concealed ! The spirit of the occasion 
 has the strongest tendency to call into exercise 
 the passions of envy and rivalry. The superior 
 dress of one lady, the superior beauty of another, 
 the comparative neglect with which one is 
 treated, and the excessive attention which an- 
 other receives, constitute the most fruitful 
 source of vanity, on the one side, and of heart- 
 burnings and mortifications on the other. The 
 very nature of the enjoyment, and the whole 
 spirit of the occasion, have the most direct 
 tendency to call these feelings into active exer- 
 cise. There is no place in which the uncom- 
 fortable feelings of the heart are so frequently 
 and so painfully excited, as in gay, glittering 
 assemblies. To use the familiar language of 
 the poet, 
 
 " Though the cheek may be tinged with a 'warm, sunny smile, 
 The cold heart to ruin runs on darkly the while." 
 
 And when, long after midnight, fevered with 
 the heated room and the exciting exercise, a 
 mother or her daughter returns to her home, 
 how poorly is she prepared for the duties of 
 devotion ! In how unsuitable a frame of mind 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 
 
 285 
 
 is she, acceptably to commune with God, and 
 to commend herself anew, with an affectionate 
 and a humble heart, to his service. 
 
 And then when another morning 'dawns, all 
 the concerns of the family are in disorder. At 
 a late hour she rises unrefreshed from her 
 pillow. During the whole day she feels de- 
 pressed in spirits, and unable to engage, with 
 any satisfaction, in life's ordinary duties. It 
 often requires one 
 or two days of lan- 
 guor and dejection 
 for the system to 
 recover its tone, 
 from the exhaus- 
 tion of the few 
 hours of midnight 
 revelry. Even al- 
 lowing the pleas- 
 urable emotions of 
 the convivial hours 
 
 to be as great as the reaction. 
 
 any one will ven- 
 ture to estimate them, the enjoyment must be 
 considered as far more than counterbalanced 
 by the physical and intellectual reaction which 
 necessarily ensues. 
 
 And when we go a little farther ; when we 
 
286 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 consider the inevitable termination of this life 
 of pleasure ; when we contemplate the victim 
 — for victim we must consider her — of a gay 
 and fashionable life, after having passed through 
 the period of youth and vigor, with her suscep- 
 tibilites to these excitements worn out — her 
 mind and heart satiated with those pursuits, and 
 yet with no taste formed for more solid and 
 satisfying joys — we regard her with the deepest 
 commiseration, as an impressive warning for all 
 the young to avoid those quicksands, upon 
 which her happiness has been so fatally stranded. 
 
 When we turn to the Bible, to the character 
 of our Savior and his apostles, we find these 
 views confirmed even by the weight of inspira- 
 tion ; so much so, indeed, that even the idea of 
 our Savior, or the apostle Paul, taking an ac- 
 tive part in such scenes, is so shocking to our 
 feelings, that the very supposition is almost ir- 
 reverent. And why is it that one shrinks from 
 such an idea, but because the spirit of the Bible 
 is so diametrically opposed to these amusements, 
 that the mind recoils from the thought of con- 
 necting them with sacred personages ? 
 
 And when w^e inquire of human testimony, 
 we hear but one voice, which comes down from 
 all past time, and from every nation, in attesta- 
 tion of the folly of a life of pleasure. There 
 
FRUITS OF riETY. 287 
 
 are thousands now in our churches, who were 
 once the devotees of gayety ; and they will tel! 
 you, without a contradicting voice, that, since 
 they have abandoned their former pursuits, and 
 sought happiness in different objects, and culti- 
 vated a taste for different pleasures, they have 
 found peace and satisfaction, which they never 
 knew before ; and they have no more disposi- 
 tion to turn back to these gayeties, than they 
 have to resume the rattles of babyhood. 
 
 It is quite important that the young should 
 understand the true reason of the decision, to 
 which Christians have come upon this subject. 
 It is not a gloomy and morose spirit that dic- 
 tates this decision, or any desire to prohibit 
 real pleasures. But we see that these gayeties 
 are, in the end, promotive of far more sorrow 
 than happiness, and therefore we wish all whom 
 we love, to walk in those ways of wisdom, 
 which are pleasantness, and in those paths which 
 are peace. 
 
 And hence, if parents would, in their own 
 lives and in the lives of their children, bring 
 forth the peaceable and joyful fruits of right- 
 eousness, they must avoid these scenes of gay- 
 ety. You must carefully guard against culti- 
 vating a taste for such pleasures. There are, 
 in this world,' many regions of enjoyment. 
 
288 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 where one may walk in safety. There are 
 many joys w^hich are -improving to the heart, 
 and which afford increasing happiness amid the 
 infirmities of old age and approaching death — 
 joys which, in the morning of life, are like the 
 morning sunshine, and, in the evening of our 
 days, are like the serene and golden hues of a 
 summer sunset. There are the joys of well- 
 cultivated affections,. of an improving mind, of 
 friends, and love of home, of social converse at 
 the quiet fireside, of the flower-garden, of the 
 domestic animal feeding from the hand it loves, 
 of the twilight walk in solitude or company, 
 of visiting the sick, and cheering the despond- 
 ing. There are enough sources of enjoyment 
 which God has opened to us in this world, 
 which are purifying in their nature, and which 
 leave no sting behind. It is not necessary for 
 us to search for happiness in dangerous and for- 
 bidden paths. 
 
 In all the ways pointed out in this chapter, 
 the mother must endeavor to train up her chil- 
 dren in the service of God. These are the 
 practical duties of Christianity — duties which 
 bring with them their own reward. There is 
 no other path to heaven than that which is here 
 pointed out — reliance upon an atoning Savior 
 for the forgiveness of past sin, and faithful en- 
 
FRUITS OF PIETY. 289 
 
 deavors to live a devout and holy life. They 
 who will diligently and faithfully pursue such a 
 course, will find the Savior's yoke indeed easy, 
 and his burden light. Duty will continually 
 become more easy and more pleasant. The 
 propensities and passions, whose unrestrained 
 dominion so often mar the peace of others, will 
 cease to trouble them, — being subdued by di- 
 vine grace, — and they w'ill go on their way re- 
 joicing to the end. 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 RESUL TS . 
 
 FREauENT allusion has been made in the pre- 
 ceding chapters, to the fatal consequences 
 which must attend the neglect of duty. In 
 view of this, some parents may have been op- 
 pressed and dejected. It is most surely true 
 that the misconduct of children subjects the 
 parents to the utmost intensity of suffering. 
 But it must be remembered, that when parental 
 faithfulness is attended with its usual blessing, 
 joys, nearer akin to those of heaven than of 
 earth, are the result. The human heart is not 
 susceptible of more exquisite pleasures than the 
 parental relation affords. Is there no joy when 
 the mother first presses her infant to her heart ? 
 s there no delight in witnessing the first placid 
 smile which plays upon its cheek ? Yes ! The 
 very earliest infancy of the babe brings " rap- 
 ture a mother only knows." The very care is 
 a delight. And when your little son has passed 
 ihrough the dreamy existence of infancy, and 
 
RESULTS. 291 
 
 IS buoyant with the activity and animated with 
 the intelligence of childhood, are not new 
 sources of pleasure opened to your mind ? Are 
 there no thrilling emotions of enjoyment in 
 hearing the hearty laugh of your happy boy ; in 
 witnessing the unfoldings of his active mind ; in 
 feeling his warm kiss and ardent embrace ? Is 
 there no delight in seeing your boy run to meet 
 you, with his face full of smiles and his heart 
 full of love ; and in hearing him, in lisping ac- 
 cents, call you mother? As you receive daily 
 new proofs of his affection and obedience, and 
 see that his little bosom is animated with a gen- 
 erous and a noble spirit, you feel repaid an hun- 
 dred fold for all your pain, anxiety, and toil. 
 After a few years your children arrive at ma- 
 turitv, and with that divine blessing which we 
 may expect to accompany our prayerful efforts, 
 they will be found with generous affections and 
 established principles of piety. With what 
 emotions do parents then look around upon 
 their happy and prosperous family ! They are 
 receiving the earthly recompense of reward 
 What an affecting sight it is, to see an aged and 
 widowed mother leaning upon the firm arm of 
 her son, as he accompanies her to the house of 
 God ! And how many parents have had theii 
 declining years cheered by the affectionate at- 
 
292 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 tentions of a daughter ! Who will so tenderly 
 watch over you in sickness as a daughter, whose 
 bosom is animated by the principles of piety 
 
 THE DAUGHTER. 
 
 which you have inculcated ? Among the 
 sweetest earthly joys to be experienced in old 
 age, is the joy of looking around. upon happy 
 and grateful children. The marks of esteem 
 and love that you receive from them, will daily 
 be rewarding you for all your toil. And when 
 your children's children cluster around you. 
 
RESULTS. 293 
 
 giving unceasing tokens of respect and affection, 
 you will find in their caresses the renewal of 
 your youth. When all other earthly joys have 
 faded, you will find in the little prattlers of the 
 fireside untiring enjoyment. 
 
 But there is a scene of still brighter happi- 
 ness. The Christian family will meet again. 
 P&rents and children will be associated in heav- 
 en. And when the whole household are happily 
 assembled there; when they sit down together 
 in the green pastures and by the still waters ; 
 when they go in and out at the mansions which 
 God has prepared for them ; then, and not till 
 then, will they experience the fullness of the en- 
 joyment with which God rewards parental fidel- 
 ity. How full of rapture is the thought, that 
 the whole family may meet again in the world 
 of songs and everlasting joy, where sorrow and 
 sighing shall forever flee away! As from that 
 happy state of existence you look back upon 
 your pilgrimage on earth, you can never regret 
 any labor that you have expended, any sacrifi- 
 ces that you have made, any sufferings that you 
 liave undergone, to train up your children to be 
 with you the heirs of a glorious immortality. 
 O, there is enough, abundantly enough, to en- 
 courage every parent to unwearied exertions! 
 As with the deep emotions of parental love, 
 
294 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 you look upon the obedient and affectionate 
 children who surround your fireside, your 
 thoughts may be carried away to enjoyments 
 infinitely richer, and forever enduring, in the 
 world to come. 
 
 We may be called upon to follow our chil- 
 dren to the grave. And heart-rending is such 
 an affliction. But if we have reason to believe 
 that they have gone to the mansions which the 
 Savior has prepared, much of the bitterness of 
 the affliction is taken away. They have gone 
 home before us. They are sheltered from every 
 storm. They are protected from every sorrow. 
 Soaring in angelic flights, and animated with ce-- 
 lestial joys, they are ready to welcome us when 
 God in his own good time shall give us entrance 
 to those happy worlds. A gentleman was once 
 asked if he had lost any of his children. " No," 
 he replied, " I have two in heaven, but have lost 
 none." To a truly Christian family the death 
 of any one of its members is but a temporary 
 absence, and not an eternal separation. 
 
 2. The injltience of mothers has as powerful 
 an action upon the welfare of future genera- 
 tions, as all other earthly causes combined. 
 Thus far the history of the world has been 
 composed of the narrations of oppression and 
 blood. War has scattered its unnumbered 
 
RESULTS. 295 
 
 woes. The cry of the oppressed has unceas- 
 ingly ascended to heaven. Where are we to 
 look for the influence which shall change this 
 scene, and fill the earth with the fruits of peace 
 and benevolence? It is to the power of divine 
 truth, to Christianity, as taught from a mother's 
 lips. In a vast majority of cases the first six or 
 seven vears of life decide the character of the 
 man. If the boy leave the paternal roof uncon- 
 trolled, turbulent, and vicious, he will, in all 
 probability, rush on in the mad career of self- 
 indulgence. There are exceptions ; but these 
 exceptions are rare. If, on the other hand, 
 your son goes from home accustomed to control 
 himself, he will probably retain that habit through 
 life. If he has been taught to make sacrifices 
 of his own enjoyment that he may promote the 
 happiness of those around him, it may be ex- 
 pected that he will continue to practice benevo- 
 lence, and consequently will be respected, and 
 useful, and happy. If he has adopted firm reso- 
 lutions to be faithful in all the relations of life, 
 he, in all probability, will be a virtuous man 
 and an estimable citizen, and a benefactor of 
 his race. 
 
 When our land is filled with pious and pat- 
 riotic mothers, then will it be filled with virtu- 
 ous and patriotic men. The world's redeeming 
 
296 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 influence, under tlie blessing of the Holy Spirit, 
 must come from a mother's lips. She who was 
 first in the transgression, must oe yet the prin- 
 cipal earthly instrument in the restoration. 
 Other causes may greatly aid. Other influ- 
 ences must be ready to receive the mind as it 
 comes from the mother's hand, and carry it on- 
 ward in its improvement. But the mothers of 
 our race must be the chief instruments in its 
 redemption. This sentiment will bear examin- 
 ing ; and the more it is examined, the more 
 manifestly true will it appear. It is alike the 
 dictate of philosophy and experience. The 
 mother who is neglecting personal effort, and 
 relying upon other influences for the formation 
 of virtuous character in her children, will find, 
 when it is too late, that she has fatally erred. 
 The patriot, who hopes that schools, and ly- 
 ceums, and the general diffusion of knowledge, 
 will promote the good order and happiness of 
 the community, while family government is 
 neglected, will find that he is attempting to 
 purify the streams which are flowing from a 
 corrupt fountain. It is maternal influence, after 
 all, which must be the great agent, in the hands 
 of God, in bringing back our guilty race to duty 
 and happiness. O that mothers could feel this 
 responsibility as they ought ! Then would the 
 
RESULTS. 297 
 
 world assume a different aspect. Then should 
 we less frequently behold unhappy families and 
 broken-hearted parents. A new race of men 
 would enter upon the busy scene of life, and 
 cruelty and crime would pass away. O moth- 
 ers ! reflect upon the power which your Maker 
 has placed in your hands ! There is no earthly 
 influence to be compared with yours. There 
 is no combination of causes so powerful in pro- 
 moting the happiness or the misery of our race, 
 as the instructions of home. In a most pecu- 
 liar sense God has constituted you the guar- 
 dians and the controllers of the human family. 
 
 3. Perhaps some one asks, "Is there nothing 
 for the fathers to do V There certainly is 
 much — very much. But this treatise is pre- 
 pared to impress upon the mind the duties of 
 mothers. Yet, lest it should be inferred from 
 what has been written, that the whole duty of 
 family government rests upon the mother, I 
 would briefly remark, that no father can be 
 justified in releasing himself from a full share 
 of the responsibility. A father will often make 
 many excuses to release himself from his duty ; 
 but alas ! he can not release his children from 
 the ruin, or. himself from the woe, which his 
 neglect occasions. It will be a poor solace to 
 him, as he goes in shame and sorrow to the 
 
298 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 grave, to reflect that he was busily engaged in 
 other employments while leaving his children 
 to mature for ignominy and disgrace. What 
 duties can be paramount to those which we 
 owe to our children ? 
 
 A clergyman sometimes says he has so much 
 to do, his time is so fully occupied, that he is 
 compelled to neglect his children. And who 
 has the first claim upon his attention, his con- 
 gregation or his children? God has placed 
 him over a congregation, and has also made 
 him the father of a family, and which duty does 
 God regard as most imperative ? And yet not 
 a few instances might be pointed out, in which 
 clergymen of devoted piety and extensive use- 
 fulness, have given their whole attention to 
 the labors of the study and to public duties, 
 and have left their unhappy children to grow 
 up unchecked and vicious. No one can enjoy 
 the privilege of being a father, without having 
 duties to perform which will require time and 
 care. And can any time be more usefully em- 
 ployed than that which is passed in training up 
 a family of children, who shall remain to do 
 good in the world long after we are silent in 
 the grave ? Can we have any influence equal 
 to that of pious sons and daughters ? Can we 
 bequeath to the world a richer legacy than the 
 
RESULTS. 299 
 
 fervent piety and active usefulness of a numer- 
 ous offspring? O there is no sin which reaches 
 so far, and extends such wide-spreading desola- 
 tion, as parental neglect. No father can be 
 guiltless in retiring from these responsibilities. 
 The first duty enjoined upon us, is to keep our 
 own hearts with diligence ; the second, to lead 
 our families to God; the third, to consult for 
 the spiritual welfare of our neighbors ; the 
 fourth, to do all in our power to evangelize the 
 world. And yet how many Christian ministers 
 have paralyzed their influence, destroyed their 
 peace of mind, and broken their hearts, by 
 neglecting the duties which they owe to their 
 children. 
 
 Many of the most eminent statesmen of the 
 land are thus afflicted and dishonored. And 
 the affliction must be aggravated bv the con- 
 sciousness that they are reaping as they have 
 sown. I would not willingly inflict a pang 
 upon the heart of any parent who reads these 
 pages, but I can not refrain from raising a warn- 
 ing voice, in view of the destruction which has 
 gone forth, and is still going forth, from the 
 cause we are now contemplating. The temp- 
 tation is very great, for men who are engaged 
 in literary pursuits, or overwhelmed with public 
 cares, to neglect their domestic duties. But 
 
300 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 l)ow ruinous is this to usefulness and happiness ! 
 It is better to be a poor man, and it is better to 
 be an humble man, than to be disgraced in life by 
 ihe profligacy of those who call us father, and 
 to have a dying pillow planted with thorns by 
 our children's hands. Every man, whatever 
 be his situation in life, is bound to regard the 
 duties which he owes to his children as among 
 the most sacred that he has to discharge. If 
 he neglect them, he must reap the bitter con- 
 sequences. 
 
 One other remark I must here make, as it is 
 intimately connected with a mother's duty. A 
 father should always endeavor to teach his chil- 
 dren to honor their mother. If the father does 
 not do this, the difficulties of the mother will be 
 vastly increased. But where harmony of design 
 is seen to exist between the parents, authority 
 is strengthened. There is something in loving 
 and revering a mother, which exerts a delight- 
 ful influence upon the heart ; it refines and 
 elevates the character ; and is a strong safe- 
 guard against degrading vice. Boys in par- 
 ticular will not long respect a mother, if they 
 see that their father does not treat her with at- 
 tention. You can hardly find a dissolute young 
 man, who has been accustomed from infancy 
 to look to his mother with respect and love. It 
 
RESULTS. 30i 
 
 is in disobedience to a mother that the career 
 of crinie generally commences. The way is 
 thus prepared for tlie disregard of all parental 
 authority. And then the progress is rapid to 
 the boldest defiance of all the laws of God and 
 man. Many an unhappy criminal has, from 
 the gallows, traced back his course of guilt to 
 the early periods of childhood, when he com- 
 menced with disobedience to a mother's com- 
 mands ; and he has felt and acknowledged that, 
 had he then been habituated to obey them, his 
 whole succeeding course had probably been 
 different. It is therefore of the first importance 
 that nothing should be omitted tending to give 
 the mother great and unceasing influence over 
 the minds of her children. 
 
 4. The subject of education must he attended 
 to with persevering study. And yet how many 
 parents neglect this duty ! Nothing surely can 
 be of greater importance to the parents and 
 child, than a correct system of family govern- 
 ment. Every mother admits her need of infor- 
 mation. There are many valuable books, easy 
 of access, which will afford great assistance. A 
 mother should consider it one of her first duties 
 to inform herself upon this subject, as far as her 
 means will admit. The art of influencing and 
 guiding the youthful mind, is susceptible of 
 
302 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 almost boundless improvement, and we are un- 
 faithful to our children if we do not become fa- 
 miliar with the results of the experiments of 
 others. We ought not to stumble in darkness, 
 when light is shining around us. There are 
 fundamental principles in operating upon the 
 human' mind, as well as in any other science. 
 And many an anxious mother has fallen into 
 error, to the serious injury of her children, 
 which she might have avoided, had she consult- 
 ed the sources of information which are at every 
 one's hand. 
 
 How great must be the affliction of that moth- 
 er, who, in consequence of neglect, has been 
 unsuccessful with her family ! She looks upon 
 her ruined sons, and reproaches herself with the 
 just reflection, that if she had pursued a differ- 
 ent course, they might have been her joy and 
 blessing. Perhaps even they throw reproaches 
 upon her, and attribute all their guilt and 
 wretchedness to her bad government. But few 
 more miserable men have passed through the 
 world than Lord Byron; and he has distinctly 
 attributed the formation of his character, and, 
 consequently all his crime and woe, to his moth- 
 er's unrestrained passions, and neglect of 
 proper government. How must such a crimi- 
 nation from a dissolute son. pierce the heart of 
 
RESULTS. 303 
 
 a pious mother ! Knowledge of duty might have 
 been attained, but she neglected to attain it, 
 and through inexcusable ignorance ruined her 
 child. An affectionate mother would be over- 
 whelmed with anguish, if she had ignorantly ad- 
 ministered some poisonous drug to her child, 
 and had seen him in consequence expiring in 
 agony. But how much more dreadful is it to 
 see moral ruin caused by our own criminal ig- 
 norance ! Who would not rather see a son or 
 a daughter lie down in the grave, than see them 
 sink into the wretchedness and disgrace of 
 profligacy. If we would save our children then 
 we must be earnest and faithful in our duty. 
 
BOOKS BY THE ABBOTTS. 
 
 THE FRANCONIA STORIES. 
 
 By Jacob Aubott. In Ten Volumes. Beautifully Illus. 
 trated. IGmo, Cloth, 90 cents per Vol. ; the set complete, 
 in case, $9 00. 
 
 1. Malleville. C. Stuyvesaut. 
 
 2. Mary Bell. 7. Agnes. 
 
 3. Ellen Linn. 8. Mary Erskine. 
 
 4. "Wallace. 9. Rodolphus. 
 
 5. Beechnut. 10. Caroline. 
 
 MARCO PAUL SERIES. 
 
 Marco Paul's Voyages and Travels in the Pursuit of 
 Knowledge. By Jacob Abboti\ Beautifully Illustrated. 
 Complete in 6 Volumes, 16mo, Cloth, 90 cents per Volume. 
 Price of the set, in case, $5 40. 
 
 In New York. In Boston. 
 On the Erie Canal. At the Springfield Arm- 
 In the Forests of Maine. ory. 
 In Vermont. 
 
 RAINBOW AND LUCKY SERIES. 
 
 By Jacob Abbott. Beautifully Illustrated. 16mo, 
 Cloth, 90 cents each. 
 
 Handle. Selling Lucky. 
 
 Rainbow's Journey. Up the River. 
 
 The Three Pines. 
 
 YOUNG CHRISTIAN SERIES. 
 
 By Jacob Abbott. In Four Volumes. Richly Illus- 
 trated with Engravings, and Beautifully Bound. 12mo, 
 Cloth, $1 75 per Vol. The set complete, Cloth, $7 00; in 
 Half Calf, $14 00. 
 
 1. The Young Christian. 
 
 2. The Corner Stone. 
 
 3. The Way to Do Good. 
 
 4. Hoaryhead and M'Dojiner. 
 
Boohs hy the Abbotts. 
 
 HARPER'S STORY BOOKS. 
 
 A Series of Xarratives, Biographies, and Tales, for the lu' 
 Btruction and Entertainment of the Young. By Jacob Ab- 
 bott. Embellished vdih. more than One Thousand beauti'. 
 ful Engravings. Square Ito, complete in 12 large Volumes, 
 or 36 small ones. 
 
 "Haepee'8 Stoey Books" can be obtained complete in Twelve 
 Volumes, bound in blue and gold, eacb one containing Three Sto- 
 ries, for $-21 00, or in Thirty-six thin Volumes, bound in crimson and 
 gold, each containing One Story, for $32 40. The volumes may be 
 had separately— the large ones at $1 75 each, the others at 90 cents 
 each. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 BRUNO ; or, Lessons of EideUty, Patience, and Self-De- 
 nial Taught by a Dog. 
 
 "WILLIE AND THE MORTGAGE : shoA^ing How 
 Much may be Accomplished by a Boy. 
 
 THE STRAIT GATE; or, The Rule of Exclusion from 
 Heaven. 
 
 VOL. II. 
 
 THE LITTLE LOUVRE; or, The Boys' and Girls' 
 Picture-Gallery. 
 
 PRANK ; or. The Philosophy of Tricks and Mschief. 
 
 EMMA; or, The Three IVIisfortunes of a Belle. 
 
 VOL. in. 
 
 VIRGINIA ; or, A Little Light on a Very Dark Saying. 
 
 TIMBOO AND JOLIBA ; or. The Art cf Being Useful. 
 
 TIMBOO AND FANNY; or. The Art of Self-Instruc- 
 tion. 
 
 VOL. IV. 
 
 THE HARPER ESTABLISHMENT ; or, How the 
 Story Books are Made. 
 
 FRANKLIN, the Apprentice-Boy. 
 
 THE STUDIO ; or, Illustrations' of the Theory and Prac- 
 tice of Dra-^ing, for Young Artists at Home, 
 
 VOL. V. 
 
 THE STORY Of ANCIENT HISTORY, from the 
 Earliest Periods to the Pali of the Roman Empire. 
 
 THE STORY OF ENGLISH HISTORY, from the 
 Earliest Periods to the American Revolution. 
 
 THE STORY OF AMERICAN HISTORY, from 
 the Earliest Settlement of the Country to the Establish- 
 ment of the Federal Constitution. 
 
Boohs h]j the Abbotts. 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 JOHN TRUE ; or, The Christian Experience of an Hon- 
 est lioy. 
 ELPRED ; or, The Blind Boy and his Pictures. 
 THE MUSEUM; or, Curiosities Explained. 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 THE ENGINEER ; or, How to Travel in the Woods. 
 RAMBLES AMONG THE ALPS. 
 THE THREE GOLD DOLLARS; or, An Account of 
 the Adventures of Robin Green. 
 
 VOL. VIII. 
 THE GIBRALTAR GALLERY: being an Account 
 
 of various Things both Curious and Useful. 
 THE ALCOVE : containing some Farther Account of 
 
 Timboo, Mark, and Fanny. 
 DIALOGUES for the Amusement and Instruction of 
 
 Young Persons. 
 
 VOL. IX. 
 THE GREAT ELM ; or, Eobin Green and Josiah Lane 
 
 at School. 
 AUNT MARGARET; or. How John True kept his 
 
 Resolutions. 
 VERNON ; or, Conversations about Old Times in England. 
 
 VOL. X. 
 CARL AND JOCKO ; or. The Adventures of the Little 
 
 Italian Boy and his Monkey. 
 LAPSTONB ; or, The Saifor turned Shoemaker. 
 ORKNEY, THE PEACEMAKER; or, The Vr.iious 
 
 Ways of Settling Disputes. 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 JUDGE JUSTIN; or. The Little Court of Morningdale. 
 MINIGO ; or. The Fairy of Cairnstone Abbey. 
 JASPER ; or, The Spoiled Child Recovered. 
 
 VOL. XII. 
 CONGO ; or, Jasper's Experience in Command. 
 VIOLA and her Little Brother Arno. 
 LITTLE PAUL ; or, How to be Patient in Sickness and 
 
 Pain. 
 
 Some of the Story Books are written particnkarly for girls, and 
 some for Boys, and the different Vuhimes are adapted to various 
 acjes, so that the work forms a Complete Library of Story Books for 
 all the Children of the Family and the Sunday-School. 
 
Boohs by the Abbotts. 
 
 ABBOTTS' ILLUSTRATED HLSTORIES. 
 
 Biographical Histories. By Jacob Abbott and John S. 
 C.Abbott. The Volumes of this Series are printed and 
 bound uniformly, and are embellished with numerous Engrav- 
 ings. 16mo, Cloth, $1 20 per volimie. Price of the set (32 
 vols.), $38 40. 
 
 A series of vohimes coutaining severally fall accounts of the lives, 
 characters, and exploits of the most distinguished sovereigns, po- 
 tentates, and rulers that have been chiefly renowned among man- 
 kind, in the various ages of the world, from the earliest periods to 
 the present day. 
 
 The successive volumes of the series, though they each contain 
 the life of a single individual, and constitute thus a distinct and in- 
 dependent work, follow each other in the main, in regular historical 
 order, and each one continues the general narrative of history down 
 to the period at which the next volume takes up the story ; so that 
 the whole series presents to the reader a connected narrative of the 
 line of general history from the present age back to the remotest 
 times. 
 
 The narratives are intended to be succinct and comprehensive, and 
 are written in a very plain and simple style.- They are, however, not 
 juvenile in their character, nor intended exclusively for the young. 
 The volumes are sufficiently large to allow each history to comprise 
 all theieading facts in the life of the personage who is the subject 
 of it, and thus to communicate all the Information in respect to him 
 which is necessary for the purposes of the general reader. 
 
 Such being the design and character of the works, they would 
 seem to be specially adapted, not only for family reading, but also 
 for district, town, school, and Sunday-school libraries, as well as for 
 text-books in literary seminaries. 
 
 The plan of the series, and the manner in which the design has 
 been carried out by the author in the execution ofit, have been high- 
 ly commended by the press in all parts of the country. The whole 
 series has been introduced into the school libraries of several of the 
 largest and most influential states. 
 
 Ahkauam Lincot.n'8 Opinion of Abbotts' Histories. — In a con- 
 versation with t]ie- President just before Ms death, Mr. Lincoln said: "/ 
 ivant to thank you and your brother for Abbotts' series of Histories. 1 
 have not education enough to appreciate the profound ivorJcs of volu- 
 minous historians; and if I had, I have no time to read them. But 
 your series of Histories gives me, in brief compass, just that knowledge 
 of past men and events which I need. I have read them with the great- 
 est intere^ft. To them I am indebted for about all the historical knowl- 
 ecJne 7 harp.'" 
 
Buoks bjj the Abbotts. 
 
 CYRUS THE GREAT. 
 
 DARIUS THE GREAT. 
 
 XERXES. 
 
 ALEXANDER THE GREAT. 
 
 ROMULUS. 
 
 HANNIBAL. 
 
 PYRRHUS. 
 
 JULIUS C-S3SAR. 
 
 CLEOPATRA. 
 
 NERO. 
 
 ALFRED THE GREAT. 
 
 WILLIAM THE CONQUERORc 
 
 RICHARD I. 
 
 RICHARD II. 
 
 RICHARD III. 
 
 MARY QUEEN OP SCOTS. 
 
 QUEEN ELIZABETH. 
 
 CHARLeES I. 
 
 CHARLES II. 
 
 JOSEPHINE. 
 
 MARIA ANTOINETTE. 
 
 MADAME ROLAND. 
 
 HENRY IV. 
 
 PETER THE GREAT. 
 
 GENGHIS KHAN. 
 
 KING PHILIP. 
 
 HERNANDO CORTEZ. 
 
 MARGARET OF ANJOU. 
 
 JOSEPH BONAPARTE. 
 
 QUEEN HORTBNSE. 
 
 LOUIS XIV. 
 
 LOUIS PHILIPPE. 
 
Books hy the Ahhotts. 
 
 THE LITTLE LEARNER SERIES. 
 
 A Series for Very Young Cliildren. Designed to Assist in 
 tlie Earliest Development of the Mind of a Child, while under 
 its Mother's Special Care, during the first Five or Six Years 
 of its Life. By Jacob Abbott. Beautifully Illustrated, 
 Complete in 5 Small 4to Volumes, Cloth, 90 cents per Vol. 
 Price of the set, in case, $4 50. 
 
 LEARNING TO TALK ; or. Entertaining and Instruct- 
 ive Lessons in the Use of Language. 1 70 Engra^dngs. 
 
 LEARNING- TO THINK : consisting of Easy and En- 
 tertaining Lessons, designed to Assist in the First Unfold- 
 ing of the Eeflective and Keasoning -Powers of Children. 
 120 Engravings. 
 
 LEARNING- TO READ ; consisting of Easy and En- 
 tertaining Lessons, designed to Assist Young Children in 
 Studying the Forms of the Letters, and in beginning to 
 Eead. 160 Engravings. 
 
 LEARNING ABOUT COMMON THINGS; or. 
 
 Familiar Instruction for Children in respect to the Ob- 
 jects around them that attract their Attention and awaken 
 their Curiosity in the Earliest Years of Life. 120 En- 
 gravings. 
 
 LEARNING ABOUT RIGHT AND "WRONG; or, 
 
 Entertaining and Instructive Lessons for Young Children 
 in respect to their Duty. 90 Engravings, 
 
Books hj the Abbotts. 
 
 KINGS AND QUEENS. 
 
 KINGS AND QUEENS; or, Life in the Palace: con- 
 sisting of Historical Sketches of Josephine and Maria Lou- 
 isa, Louis Philippe, Ferdinand of Austria, Nicholas, Isa- 
 bella II., Leopold, Victoria, and Louis Napoleon. By 
 John S. C. Abbott. With numerous Illustrations. 12mo, 
 Cloth, %\ lo. 
 
 A SUMMER IN SCOTLAND. 
 
 A SUMMER IN SCOTLAND : a Narrative of Ob- 
 servations and Adventures made by the Author during a 
 Summer spent among the Glens and Highlands in Scot- 
 land. By John S. C. Abbott. Illustrated with En- 
 gravings. 12mo, Cloth, $1 75. 
 
 THE ROMANCE OF SPANISH HISTORY. 
 
 THE ROMANCE OF SPANISH HISTORY By 
 
 John S. C. Abbott, Author of "The French Revolution," 
 "The History of Napoleon Bonaparte," &c. "With Illus- 
 trations. 12mo, Cloth, $2 00. 
 
SCIENCE 
 
 By JACOB ABBOTT. 
 
 WITH ILL US TEA TIONS. 
 
 HEAT. 12mo, Cloth, $L 50. 
 
 LIGHT. 12mo, Cloth, $1 50. 
 
 "WATER AND LAND. 12nio, Cloth, f 1 50. 
 
 FORCE. 12mo, Cloth, $1 50. 
 
 few men eujoy a wider or better earned popularity as a writer 
 for ihe young than Jacob Abbott. His series of histories, and sto- 
 ries illustrative of moral truths, have furnished amusement and in- 
 struction to thousands. He has the knack of piquing and gratifying 
 curiosity. In the book before us he shows his happy faculty of im- 
 parting useful information through the medium of a pleasant nar- 
 rative, keeping alive the interest of the young reader, and fixing in 
 his memory valuable irwihs.— Mercury, New Bedford, Mass. 
 
 Jacob Abbott is almost the only writer in the English language 
 who knows how to combine real amusement with real instruction 
 in such a manner that the eager young readers are quite as much 
 interested in the useful knowledge he imparts as in the story Avhich 
 he makes so pleasant a medium of instruction. — Buffalo Commercial 
 Advertiser. 
 
 * * * Mr. Abbott has avoided the errors so common w4th writers 
 for popular effect, that of slurring over the difficulties of the subject 
 through the desire of making it intelligible and attractive to un- 
 learned readers. He never tampers with, the truth of science, nor 
 attempts to dodge the solution of a knotty problem behind a clv^r.d 
 of plausible illnstrntions,— iV. F. Tribune. 
 
By JOHW S. C. ABBOTT. 
 
 CHILD AT HOME. 
 
 The Child at Home ; or, the Principles of Filial Duty famil- 
 iarly Illustrated. By John S. C. Abbott. Woodcuts. 
 IGmo, Cloth, $100. 
 
 The duties and trials peculiar to the child are explained and il- 
 lustrated in this volume iu the same clear aud attractive manner 
 in which those of the mother are set forth in the " Mother at Home." 
 These two works may be considered as forming a complete manual 
 of filial and maternal relations. 
 
 MOTHER AT HOME. 
 
 The Mother at Home ; or, the Principles of Maternal Duty 
 familiarly Illustrated. . By John S. C. Abbott. Engrav- 
 ings. IGmo, Cloth, $1 00. 
 
 This book treats of the important questions of maternal responsi- 
 bility and authority ; of the difficulties which the mother will ex- 
 perience, the errors to which she is liable, the methods and plans 
 she should adopt ; of the religious instruction which she should 
 impart, and of the results which she may reasonably hope will fol- 
 low her faithful and persevering exertions. These subjects are 
 illustrated with the felicity characteristic of all the productions of 
 the author. 
 
 PRACTICAL CHRISTIANITY. 
 
 Practical Christianity. A Treatise specially designed for 
 Young Men. By John S. C. Abbott. 16mo, Cloth, 
 
 $1 00. 
 
 It is characterized by the simplicity of style and appositeness of 
 illustration which make a book easily read and readily understood. 
 It is designed to instruct and interest young men in the eflectual 
 truths of Christianity. It comes down to their plane of thought, 
 and, in a genial, conversational way, strives to lead them to a life 
 of godliness. — Watchman and Reflector. 
 
 It abounds in wise aud practical suggestions.— ^V. 1'. Comvxercial 
 A drertiser. 
 
rOPULAR HISTORIES 
 
 BY 
 
 JOHN S. C. ABBOTT. 
 
 HISTOKY OF FREDERICK THE GREAT. 
 
 The History of Frederick the Second, called Frederick the 
 Great. By John S. C. Abbott. Elegantly Illustrated. 
 8vo, Cloth, $5 00. 
 
 THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. 
 
 The French Ee volution of 1789, as Viewed in the Light of 
 Republican Institutions. By John S. C. Abbott. With 
 100 Engravings. 8vo, Cloth, $5 GO. 
 
 NAPOLEON BONAPARTE. 
 
 The History of Napoleon Bonaparte. By John S. C. Ab- 
 bott. With Maps, Woodcuts, and Portraits on Steel. 
 2 vols., 8vo, Cloth, $10 00. 
 
 NAPOLEON AT ST. HELENA. 
 
 Napoleon at St. Helena ; or, Interesting Anecdotes and Re- 
 markable Conversations of the Emperor during the Five 
 and a Half Years of his Captivity. Collected from the 
 Memorials of Las Casas, O'Meara, Montholon, Antom- 
 marchi, and others. By John S. C. Abbott. With Il- 
 lustrations. Svo, Cloth, $5 00. 
 
Harper's Catalogue. 
 
 The attention of gentlemen, in town or country, designing to form 
 Libraries or enrich their Literary Collections, is respectfully invited to 
 Harper's Catalogue, which will be found to comprise a large proportion 
 of the standard and most esteemed works in English and Classical Lit- 
 erature — COMPREHENDING OVER THREE THOUSAND VOLUMES — which 
 
 are offered, in most instances, at less than one-half the cost of similar 
 productions in England. 
 
 To Librarians and others connected with Colleges, Schools, &c., who 
 may not have access to a trustworthy guide in forming the true estimate 
 of literary productions, it is believed this Catalogue will prove especially 
 valuable for reference. 
 
 To prevent disappointment, it is suggested that, whenever books can 
 not be obtained through any bookseller or local agent, applications with 
 rsmittance should be addressed direct to Harper & Brothers, which 
 will receive prompt attention. 
 
 Sent by mail on receipt of Six Cents in postage stamps. 
 
 Address HARPER & BROTHERS, 
 
 Franklin Square, New York.