iP LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. -^^^^^ %iL ^ ^- ,:r}'^il^n StLell'<..&.12) UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 4? T ABUSES t f^l *>3 OR ABOUT ,r-f HOTELS. J / juo i'.^'LU PRICE 10 CENTS. \ ,1879.^/ * CHICAGO: Bero iV McCann, Printers, 151 Fifth Avenuk. 1879. (}. -» ^ • f -f Although this bears the name of "About Hotels," it is not altogether about hotels, and anyone who buys it with the ex- pectation of learning how to run a hotel, is already doomed to diappointment. Neither is it a lingo upon tlie architect- ural design of this, that or anyother hotel. The readers patience will not l)e imposed upon in sucli a reckless manner. It is not expected to be of any benefit to hotel men, l)ut to the large number of women who are of necessity continually traveling about, it would respecAilly suggest that they pat- ronize only such hotels as offer them proper protection 8,t meals, in the drawing rooms, and everywhere throughout the houses — Hotels that expose rather than protect their lady patrons are numerous, and to the correction of this as well as other abuses, these few pages are Dedicated. '•>/ . COPYBIGHT BT THE AVTHOB. — tir Abuses, or About Hotels. There is apparently nothing in the hotel business to make the men engaged in it differently natnred from hankers, dry goods men or produce dealers ; hut observation has taught the writer to believe that there is a vast amount of difference between them. The sensibilities of hotel men, and the men that are commonly called merchants bear no resemblance. More particularly is this difference apparent in their dealings with their respective employes. Who would not be shocked if a dry goods man should whistle for one of his cash boys, or snap his fingers for a salesman to step that way. Such con- duct would give the store an air of brutishness, and the "fair sex" at least would pronounce it "horrid." It is well known that from the time a lady or gentleman becomes a guest of a lirst-class hotel, he or she hears little else than loud and boisterous instructions to pointers, bell boys, waiters and chambermaids. After a little service in the hotel, these same servants become imbued with the spirit of their instructors, and then they increase the tumult by snapping at each other. Who ever heard of a hotel proprietor giving an employee two weeks vacation without charging him lost time ; although for months he might have worked overtime, that would have brought him double pay as a railroad engineer or as a teamster ? Who ever heard of a hotel proprietor giving an employee in his hotel a letter of introduction to some person of posi- tion and character ; recommending the bearer as a young man of good character, deserving of confidence, and expres- sing hope that his opportunity for social enjoyment would be advanced by acquaintance with his esteemed friend ? Let some one answer, if they ever heard of a hotel man doing anything like that. The truth of the matter is that, hotel men are so selfish ; they can think of no one but themselves. 4 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. It cannot be said of a hotel man that he ever moraHzed with his employees, or ever made any effort to turn them from waywardness, as is an everyday occurrence with men in other business. In his hotel the proprietor sways like a petty tyrant. It pleases his vanity to be regarded by his servants with a feeling akin to awe. He would not object to their fal- ling down before him, like worshippers to some cannibal chief. Of course egotism enveloped in a superabundance of vanity is the sum total of any being of such capability. An- cestry may be something to feel boastful of, but hotel keepers have not even this to sustain the conceited notions they have of themselves. A picture of the first hotel and its surrounding, perhaps would be verv far from a representation of the modern struc- ture. It probably would not look to be six stories and man- sard roof in height, with elevator, telegraph office, electric annunciator, and so forth. It would, probably, look more like an ordinary country dwelling with a hitching post and horse trough in the foreground; the proprietor might be standing in the door in his shirt sleeves and white apron, a man of all work, bartender, waiter and hostler in turn. Naturally enough he progressed as he came along down the course of time ; commendable enough, he changed his coarse exterior for the more fascinating appearance of a man of means and leisure. While it is possible and desirable, that men in humble positions should become great and good, hotel men rarely attain that distinction. The character of the waiter, the hostler and the bartender in an aggravated degree are his only qualities of inherent worth ; he is the shoddy of that class of industrious laborers. There is scarcely any doubt but that the hotel business had its origin as a rum dispensary, and to some extent bears that appearance to-day. Without any natural claims to much respectability, and bear- ing in mind the origin of both this business and its mana- gers, a person hardly knows whether to praise or condemn the hotel fraternity of the present. Of course hotel men can- not be anything but what nature made them ; but its neglect to make them better is a great affliction. The hotel proprietor gives no thought to the happiness or well being of his help ; or if they should receive any thought- fulness from him it would only be in the way of contempt. ABUSES, OR AAOUT HOTELS. 6 His thoughtfulness is manifested in the way he diets his bell boys. He feeds them on refuse, sleeps them in dark and fil- thy basements, huddled together like swine in a pen. Wash women, cleaning girls and this class of help fare about as the boys do. Hunger is seldom appeased among these toilers in this seeming place of plenty ; stark and gaunt it lurks perpetually among these sickly forms, even sickness among them awakens no sympathy in the breast of the em- ployer. He feels a secret satisfaction when his help dine upon a waste crust or a few odds and ends from tlie kitchen. Hotel men sometimes give liberally of their means in a pub- lic glory way, but would it not seem more consistent if they practiced some modest generosity at home, but as it is, their help are worked and starved under their avaricious and un- feeling hands. Bondage would be almost preferable to the way hotel help have to live. If a man has a slave worth one thousand dollars he is interested in his physical condition, so that he will not depreciate in value, consequently the owner will look to his bedding and food as a means to that end. Some hotel help are slaves without this much in their favor, and they do not seem to know how to better themselves. By a miscalculation sometimes, others besides the help in the hotel get a sample of the hotel man's inwardness. An instance in point occured under the eyes of the writer a short time ago, and can be relied upon as a fair illustration of their humanity in general. A lady arriving at a hotel late at night discovered that her pocket-book containing her railroad ticket and what money she had was stolen from her while in the omnibus that conveyed her from the depot. Evidence that the lady was no impostor was conclusive from a number of passengers who rode to the hotel with her ; it was seen in her possession by at least four reliable witnesses. As soon as these facts became known to the hotel proprietor, his advice was that she ''might find shelter in the depot," for herself and her young daughter. The lady's spirit rose in arms of indignation as she hurried out of the place, her face expressing such a volume of contempt. The lady's misfortune coming to the knowledge of a railroad offi- cial who happened to be at the depot at the time ; she was substantially provided for. He heading a subscription list with ten dollars, others followed the noble example, and in 6 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. less than half an hour the lady's loss was fully made up. The hotel man having heard in the meantime what was being done, sent the lady an invitation to return to his hotel, which invitation, I need hardly say, was declined with thanks, she no doubt prefering the rude benches of the depot, to sump- tuous fare in a place where her sensitiveness had been so outrageously assaulted. What a striking contrast in the ac- tion of the hotel man and that of the railroad man in this single instance. The act of the latter was manly and phil- anthrophic ; while that of the former was mean spirited and pucilanimous, to say the least. The saloon keeper that takes the inebriate's last nickel and then pushes him out doors to freeze and die of exposure, would not be doing a thing any worse, no not half so bad as this ; many hotel men have less humanity than saloon keepers. Popularity is the hotel man's highest ambition, he strains every opportunity to gain it, he will even pander lascivious- ness, hoping thereby to gain a few links of doubtful popular- ity. It is, in fact, astonishing how he can live such a reck- less immoral life, and retain the respect of his neighbors. This characteristic of the hotel man is contagious to a cer- tain extent, some employees cannot escape it. The porter as well as the clerk is struggling to be popular. The clerk with his stale jokes, innuendos and small wdtticisms well learned is very popular, at least with those like himself, and not unfre- quently in his own estimation. It is about the same way with the porter, with a sly, expressive wank, he will rail you about your "lady killing," and make you almost a real Adonis, and while he puts away his brush and pockets his dime, he will tell you that "you are all right if you only let the women alone." In all these efforts to be popular, I have always noticed that the name women, is a severe sufferer, and if justice is ever awarded it, heavy damages for defama- tion of character must be the verdict. The word woman, applied often, is an "open sesame" to popularity in most hotels, and after some employees learn this secret, enquiries for Tom or John will be frequent, and they will cut almost, if not altogether as important a figure in the house, as the landlord himself. A popular hotel clerk takes a seat at breakfast and addresses an acquaintance thus, "all broke up," presently some one else enters the dining room and he is ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 1 spoken to in the same language, "all broke up." Then a rakish looking fellow comes along whom the clerk seems to be better acquainted with, and he and the clerk say "all broke up" at the same time ; and as it cannot be discovered what it is that is "all broke up," the writer necessarily puts this phrase down as another key to popularity. The egotism of hotel men has been helped along by impec- unious newspaper attachees who go around the country settling their hotel bills by puffing poor hotels and their villain- ous cusine, and still worse, proprietors. It is safe to say that there is not a disreputable hotel anywhere in Illinois but has received the indorsement of some "influential" newspaper. Many men seek the hotel business as a means, or a conven- inence to indulge their immoral inclinations ; they connive with profligacy, and seek profit in the laxity of the sexes. In such cases the female employees in the publically respecta- ble and privately vile places are persistently importuned by the lecherous proprietors ; and however respectable they may be at first, unless prompted by self respect to leave the hotel's loathsome portals, a deadly moral blight will eventually sink them dowli. A great many men spend their lives making a bad world worse ; but yet there are a few grand stalwarts that are continually doing good. Somewhere the writer saw a picture of A, T. Stewart as he appeared reproving one of his salesmen for misrepresenting some cheap goods in his store. In the utmost composure A, T. Stewart stood explaining to the ashamed clerk, his rule of business. There is no doubt, but what that salesman will enjoy a lifelong benefit from that interview with that great man. Who ever heard of a hotel man doing anything like that ? The act was inspired ; the picture ought to be framed in gold and hung up in the office of every hotel. Of course there are plenty of hotel proprietors whose moral plain is so high and smooth that a suspicion can never reach them, they need no eulogy here ; they are as distinct from the ribald class as wheat is from tares ; besides, there are scores of men in the hotel business who are not, strictly speaking, "hotel men." Of this latter class there is in the proprietorship of the Palmer House of this city, a notable example. Although owner and proprietor of perhaps the finest hotel in the United States, Potter Palmer is not a hotel man. Yet in five years 8 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. his practical mind has achieved wonders never attempted by anyone else in that business. He has given hotels and hotel keeping a new impetus. His name and fortune has brought honor to its waning respectability. So much so, that to-day, the Palmer House is by tacit, acknowledgement everywhere the hotel standard of perfection. A genius in his way, his name will illuminate the honored galaxy of immortals, Com- modore Vanderbilt, A. T. Stewart and Horace Greeley. Long after his envious rivals and revilers shall have shrunk ]mck into the cold mists of recollections — zero, his name a beacon light to young ambition, will glisten in the zenith of renown. A man of large intellect who would have been equally successful in the profession of law or literature ; his directing mind is seen in everything about the Palmer House, the most intricate financial problems down to the smallest details, even to the placing of a tack upon which a notice card is to be hung, obtains his inimitable i^reciseness. Mr. Palmer's success in a field so entirely new to him has, as might be expected, produced some unjust business enmity among some "old stagers" in the hotel business, who always thought "a man must be born in it" in order to attain excellence. This leads one to reflect that gratitude and appreciation do not rise ''plioenix-like" in a day, but rather is first heard like a whisper, then like a murmur of dawning happiness, then the voices of congratulation become louder and louder, until they seem to clasp and break upon each other like endless ocean waves, and subside only to be renewed continually. The world is very hard to convince. It is chary of its credulity. It often witholds its favor long after it is merito- riously due. It seems to regard all things, at first, in the ab- stract and gradually advance towards the' reality. It must regard a fact as only a theory for a certain length of time before it will accept it as a fact. The world has never yet snatched a real fact from the gloom of obscurity, and rushed with it before the astonished gaze of the populace. The multitude must be prepared by expectancy. It must have its doubts allayed, and its logical conclusions set up on both sides to receive the fact. The only recompensation for this is that when the world takes up the fact it is prolific in its distinctions and forever holds it in a most indulgent embrace. The desire that strangers, visiting Chicago, have to see the ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 9 Palmer House is an acknowledgment of its fame. Sight seeers, though unprofitable to the house, are always furnish- ed with a guide to direct them to the various points .of inter- est in the hotel. The dining room, incomparable in palacial splendor, awakens, as it naturally must, a great deal of en- thusiasm. Particularly with those who appreciate architect- ural grandeur and who are informed in emblamatic decora- tions and representations in classic mythology, it is an enter- taining study. Why some people should expect to see some- thing extraordinary about the "ladies' ordinary," is always puzzling. What makes it so expectantly important, is prob- ably its connection with the plural name, ladies, however, they often expect to see something extraordinary in the ordinary. Under this mistaken notion, people will misdirect their applause and ludicrously enough, pass over the extra- ordinary in solemn silence. At the Palmer House it is a common thing, when employ- ees of long continuance there leave, for them to receive a months pay, overtime, as a good-will from the proprietor, which must be admitted to be very generous and kindly — who ever heard of a hotel man doing anything like that ? With these pleasant impressions, the writer would be glad to close the subject, but he has not finished yet. No greater misfortune could befall a poor boy out upon the world, than to get a situation in some hotel. It offers no opportunities for advancement. There is some chance for the "street arab" to rise to a place of honor, or the news boy who generally becomes a stationer, or clears the intervening distance to a dealer in yankee notions, with a single bound. From an errand boy to a lucrative position of trust, is equally short ; from a cash boy to a partnership in the store is almost a direct line to a boy of fair ability ; but what is there for a boy who commences, say as a bell boy in some hotel ; nothing but stultification and menial rot. Every poltroon that puts up at a hotel, uses the protection of the hotel to abuse its boys, anywhere else but in a hotel, a poltroon would, by the surroundings be compelled to use gentlemanly behavior even towards boys. Surrounded by vulgarity and no refining in- fluences that reach him, it can be seen how easily a boy may fall into vice, of which there is always a variety to select from. 10 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. Even should one poor unfortunate with superior ahility, now and then rise to the position of clerk in the hotel, he is still far from ennobling employment. In that capacity his business is to be a target against which abuse and vulgarity are hurled day after day. In the midst of imprecations he must look serene and thankful. At his desk he must always appear with a beaming smile ; shining like a ray of light through the unknown. He must know all about the small things of a great city. He must be posted about the stage, about all the "teams" that there may be, he always has the latest slang phrases, he must be able to talk about the fast horses, the fast people, and he must be a directorn to bad places, as well as churches. Hotel employees are the hardest worked of employes any- where. Even Sunday, usually a day of rest to others means to them increased labor. They never have a holiday or a va- cation, unless it is taken on the plea of disability, and then they are "docked" for the day or two days that the disability lasts. From this continuous drain upon them, and no cor- responding recuperation, is it not to be expected that their stock of good nature must become exhausted. Even if they should become morose and sour is it not the natural out- growth of such circumstances. For all this, hotel employees are expected to be professors of etiquette and politeness. Certainly this state of things must be the millennium. The hotel employee's sense of hearing must ever be an open and interested receptacle for all the vile and debasing thoughts that can find shape in words. If an employe take no part in coarseness or vulgarity, is naturally above such degredation, he can never be popular, at least with certain classes of hotel patrons, who are influential enough to make it an ol^ject for hotel proprietors to keep only popular persons around them. The unlawful and unjust use made of the names of some hotel employes by the Hotel Keeper,s Association of Chicago, is an outrage to any fair minded person, and was the means of calling out the following communication, kindly published l)y the Ckicago Times about a year ago. Many employes "black balled" by the association then, are holding responsi- ble positions now, which fact in itself is at least a good nega- tive repudiation of the association, and its efficiency to starve ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 11 a man for failing in sufficient respect to some clownish hotel man, member, or patron of the association. THE SPLEEN CLUB. To the Editor. Chicago, April 27. — If an excuse is necessary for addressing the Times, please accept one or the other, or both the following excuses: First, the common habit the people have of writing to the press; second the interest I have in being an employee in the line of business implied in my subject. Good intentions have many phases, and not unfrequently fall into base uses. No one doubts that the Hotel Keepers' Association was or- ganized upon square and honorable prmciples. No one doubts that it had its inception in pure motives and chastity. It was hailed as a legiti- mate and pure production of circumstances; but, judging from circum- stances, I fear the sheen of its splendor has been dimmed by the foul finger marks of time. But to be more explicit. As I understand it, the object of the association is worthy enough, but abuses have crept into it. The degeneracy of man has produced, among other things, a thing called spleen. Olficial acts, whether good or bad, not ruled out of order by the association to which the official belongs, must be accepted as indorsed by it. From this standpoint one would be almost justified in calling the Hotel Keepers' Association the Spleen Club. Men who possess the in- herent right to the name of "Mine Host," it seems to me, ought to be above the malarial and rancid pool of spleen. But perhaps such is not the case. About two years ago ^here arrived in Chicago, a Canadian hotel servant, bringing good recommendations, etc., and he was em- ployed by your correspondent, and afterward proved deserving. Sub- sequently he took another place, and for the space of six months all was well between emploper and employee. Then there happened a misunder- standing about woges. The fellow modestly claiming what he thoughts were his rights, without avail, left. Immediately after, noticas went flying around to all the hotels, and now the man is under the ban of the association, and, according to the rule, cannot be employed by any of its members. Leaving without notice, and trivial acts of like character, bring down u'pon the head of the unfoi'tunate offender an avalanche of hotel wrath. This is hardly fair, and calls for reform from and association that can be a "thing of beauty a7id a joy forever." In this connection it may be appropriate to call attention to the hotel barnacle. Apply the same sense to the word barnacle in connection witli hotels that defines it in politics, and the reader will then understand the meaning of hotel barnacle. There is, however, a small difference between the hotel barnacle and the tax payers' barnacle. Which is, that while the latter may concede pauperism, the former by in- comparable "cheek" appears under the alaises of Hotel Ke- porter. Hotel News, Hotel World, Hotel Director, and so 12 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. forth and begins a dickering carrier as president, vice presi- dent and nine directors of the entire hotel interest. Thus by throwing over its head a shred torn from the garment of new- paper genius it manages to keep with chitching distance of respectable hotels. Eespectable hotels should brush away these pests, and no longer be prey to such impudent preten- ders. PEOPLE IN HOTELS. It is in the dining room of a hotel more than anywhere else, that the greatest inconsistances of the human character are discernable. It is there the worst side of human nature is in its fullest. As soon as a man prepares to eat he is very much like any other animal. His savage nature becomes active, and he is easily provoked. He is inclined to be sus- picious, and angry at all other people. What he can get, he don't want. His desire seems to be, to take w^iat some one else has from them. The characteristic traits of childhood are often strong in maturity. A forty year old male child will make as long and wry a face about the possession of its particular chair at the table as any "three year old." Let him be touched by anything but the thoughtful hand of anxious care, and his wail will be as loud and deep as that of the most petulant yearling. Under a heavy pressure of dig- nity, many people expect the utmost in the way of politeness, without the least thought given to their own politeness toward those from whom the civility is looked for. They will snarl and snivel and snort at dinner like a pack of wolves devour- ing their prey, each one trying to monopolize all the room, all the attention and all the food, without the least regard to what others may want, or what they may be entitled to, and expect politeness to stand smilmgly over the scene. To dis- discharge some one that has not this species of politeness is a distinction about which there is often considerable rivalry. Abomination has a distinguished hand-maid in an incor- rigible club of medium aged bachelors, to the number of four or six, occupying a table in some conspicuous part of the din- ing room of a first-class house. Clubs are always composed of men whose sympathies run in lines parallel to each other, whose sentiments (if it can be said that old bachelors have sentiments) are alike ; whose hates, loves and tastes mingle in harmonious privacy. Although the incorrigibles are usu- ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 13 ally loud of voice, and somewhat boisterous, it is their way of conducting private conversation — in public. A person that has not by natural affinity and slow degrees taken a place in the heart of the Incorrigible Club, is always an in- truder anywhere near them. In the matter of table etiquette the Incorrigible Club is supreme, unless one take into consid- eration that it blows its nose a good deal while at the table. The approach of a party of ladies always throws the club into spasms of sneezing, coughing and nose blowing. Strik- ing the blades of two knives together like a workman in a slaughter house, is usually an accompaniment to the nose blowing and sneezing. With these exceptions and the exception of a few lesser qualifications not worth mentioning, the table etiquette of the Incorrigible Club is incomparable. Under these circumstan- ces it is not suri^rising that the club regards an outsider as only a "hog." The only objection to this is, that the club is too limited in its view ; it should include the whole drove of swine. Exclusiveness and association of one's own choosing is pleasant and agreeable, but what excuse is there to blow the nose, make a grunting and sibilant noise like animals as soon as the table is reached ? This probably is one of the initiation secrets of the Incorrigible Club. Of course where there are so many exceptions in the way of ordinary decency the moral standard becomes contaminated. In fact the standard might be said to trail in the cesspool of Pliny's worst assertions. The sins that destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah are disgustingly prevalent and conspicuous ; so much so that it is almost impossible for a person to make a gesture without meeting the interpretation of depravity. Who that has lived even but a short time in some first- class hotel, but has been disgusted by a certain class of people who are always warring for small respect. They seem to be afraid that some servant, in the secret of his or her mind, does not regard them with sufficient solemnity. To build up this feeling in the servant they take upon them- selves, as a duty, and to aid them they will use the name of the proprietor and even threaten to discharge the offending ones themselves. With imaginary success they are at once lifted up on the throne of self-esteem, and their lives will be ease and tranquility evermore ! Endearment will then take 14 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. the place of aggressiveness, and absorption, followed by solicitude for "my Tommy," will flow from them in a soft and rippling voice, like a brooklet gushing over a mossy bed. Let the divine rights of man be advocated as much as it will, man wants man tobe his cringing slave. What the vender of small articles, who sells his wares from door to door is to the housewife, the drummer is to the merchant in every city. The drummer has a sort of buy cheap and sell dear respect for all whom he chances to meet. At home in the hotel, the drummer shines for all. He winks knowingly at the waiters, he cajoles the chamber- maids, and his gallantry can be had for considerable less than the asking by a lady guest. Ladies sometimes mildly rebuke his officiousness by abruptly leaving one table in the dinmg-room and taking a seat at another further from his presence. Although the drummer generally pays his per diem at the hotel, he will not scruple to wring out of it all the extras possible. The drummer is a modern character, that had its beginning in competitive industry ; and like all of nature's productions, must have its youth, its manhood and its decay. In fact, it seems already to be in the retrogressive stage of its existence. What was a res- pectable calling a few years ago is now reduced almost to pack peddling. As judges are said to put on their "judicial face" when the court opens, so might it be said that people put on a hotel face ; that is, having no individuality of their own, except perhaps shoddy notions of life, they act for effect, and they are often reckless about its being a good effect. The heavy character, with its dangerous pressure of dignity, is still in vogue, but it is very difficult to sustain ; particularly so if a clumsy waiter should drop a plate of soup over the character's shoulders, thus forcing upon it a choice of either killing the servant or retiring from the character. Thih character is too easily unmasked to keep popular, so it is being abandoned and superseded by a more elastic one. I really believe that there are people who would die of emmi if they would not be afforded the opportunity, I might say luxury, of being offended, particularly if they are people whose business needs advertising, such as "doctors," who live by utilizing the waste found in the crevices along the JIL\^£S, iEAlLl'l IJO'JIL. 15 road of the medical profession, and "professors " who can tell so much good or ill from the basis of a scalp wound. Nothing will so dishearten a phrenologist as to give him no opportunity to flare up, but treat him to a chance to get mad and gain a little cheap prominence under the guise of offence, and he will bless the hotel. From saying to the wife of a New York "professor" that she "might be mistaken" arose a most embarrassing succession of circumstances to an hotel employee with whom the writer happened to be acquainted, As soon as she fairly understood that she was told that she might be mistaken, she struck " high tragedy" and almost shrieked, "You tell me I lie ! You tell me I lie ! ! Y^'ou tell me I lie ! ! ! I will see if you tell me I lie ; " and strode out of the dining room in the most approved Lady Macbeth fashion. At her room she went through the formality of two hysterics, and one spasm at least. She was going to leave the hotel instantly. While the employee stood dumbfounded at this unexpected explosion, and thinking of the probable result, he was approached by the "professor's" agent and requested to "call on the madame and make some apology." Here was a way out of the dilemma, which the employee was only too glad to avail himself of. Accordingly he directed his steps to the proper number. The apology was anticipated and granted almost in advance of its delivery, and granted so profusely that the "madam" could hardly restrain herself from embracing the bewildered employee. As will be seen there are three distinct observations in this little episode, flaring up at nothing, wishing to be reconciled at once — and esteem for the person who, as she said, told her she lied. If we except the advance agent of a minstrel troupe, pro- bably the most ostentatious guests are public singers, or, opera people. Their manner is fussy and "loud." They seem to have given a quit-claim to modesty for a charter for boldness by the world at large. In the most trivial conver- sation, attitude, gesture, and facial expression superficially appear. If a prima donna took her handkerchief from her pocket in a place where there might be one pair of eyes to admire, she would study "effect" in the use of it. Thus, while she might be relating how she happened to oversleep that morning, she would be acting a scene in Faust or 111 Trovatore. They are the most emphatic people to be seen. 16 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. The men shake their fingers so earnestly in each other's faces that one would naturally suppose it was to be an argu- ment of fisticuffs ; but this fear is soon dissipated by one of them calling for a bottle of claret in a calm manner. It is an everyday occurrence in the dining rooms of hotels to have people request not to be seated at a table with Jews. If the Jews would only be as anxious to be by themselves, and not interfere in any way with the Gentiles, they would be entitled to more respect. But just as soon as a Jew ap- prehends that some one objects to his presence, or that there is some particular locality where his presence is undesired, he stubbornly persists in going there. If the Jews would be equally specific and object to table companionship with the Gentiles, the antipathy would soon wear off. Jews are seclusive in their social relations everywhere, but in the hotel dining room — this is their battle-field of personality — and antipathy toward them is increasing, instead of diminishing in that particular. Anyone disposed to look at the ludicrous side of things can find a good deal of legitimate laughing stock in the average English traveler. In most of English travelers a mingling of foppishness and imbecility is a chief distinction. The average English traveler is always looking for some member of his party, (they usually travel in small parties of four or six) and although he might have just left the one that he was searching for, he would not be satisfied that he or she was not somewhere else, until he had made an exhausting search particularly in the dining room, if it should happen to be crowded with guests at dinner. English travelers are always lost ; they are forever hunting for each other ; and when they do find themselves together, the pleasure of meeting is but momentary, for the very first step hazarded by any one of the number, scatters them all over again. They have a peculiar habit of slipping away from each other unknowingly and of course the searching is being continually renewed. An English traveler can never remember which door he en- tered a room by, and consequently, woeful results befall him whenever an exit is attempted; he usually plunges into some forbidden place, and in trying to extricate himself from this embarrassment, he only stumbles further into it. They are often out of place, and for this grossness of conduct and the ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 17 privilege of being ridiculous, they are ever ready to say "thank you," or "beg pardon," I will not attempt to mimic their hi's or their ho's ; this deserves the cloak of charity, their schoolmasters are to blame for this, not themselves. Their questionings are often absurd, "when does the six o'clock train go out," I have no doubt was intended as a satire upon them in this respect. They are always very friendly and talkative to hotel servants, from whom they get most of their information about America. A hotel waiter can interest them in conversation when an American statesman would be a bore. Ignorance is the flint against which little learning loves to flash its steel. But not to the English alone does this apply, I believe it is universal, for people to want to be greater than others, and when among lesser lights than themselves, they are more happy than they would be if they were where their own light would appear ~ dim by contrast. This trait of the human character was the motive power that once threw the world back into the "dark ages." Had this desire to know more and appear smarter than anybody else never existed, learning never would have been suppressed. Knowledge was too precious to be made common by distribution among the masses. This spirit still exists in most of the European nations. Like a boy that carries his fishing rod around on his shoulder three days in advance of fishing day, these English travelers regale themselves in the costume of mountaineers thousands of miles away from the mountain that is to be scaled. They wear an unsightly head gear that they call "me hat," made of cork and very clumsy, which they are always losing ; and after variously inquiring, "where's me hat?" find again. Every attention in the courtesy catalogue of a hotel is re- garded by the English traveler as a personal mark of dis- tinction to himself. I do not think that I ever saw an Eng- lish traveler sit down to eat and stay seated until he was through his meal. He is forever jumping up and sitting- down again. This automatic-like motion arises from two dis- tinct causes, thinking and forgetting in rapidsuccession. If he should happen to leave the table he is sure to engage in the inevitable search for his friends, and this occupies his atten- tion until long after meal hours. It is astonishing how these people travel and not get lost forever. I never saw an Eng- 18 ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. lish traveling party arrive or depart in a body ; they seem to scatter off out of one place and converge at another, and of course they are all glad to see each other again and converse about how it happened. The marriage relation of the English traveler must be a "dull reality of life," or at least of happy life. "Man and wife is the epitaph on the gravestone of their dead emotion and dead impulse. They have not that anxious solicitude for each other so richly possessed by American wives and husbands. It is a rare thing for an Englishman and his wife to enter a hotel dining room together, and sit chatting and have an enjoyable and happy repast. Usually they come alone, the husband first, perhaps, or maybe the wife first, However, the last will be searching for the first, and when the last has found the first, the first leaves the table, having finished the meal, and in dumb silence the last follows the first shortly afterward. The English girls are charming, very intelligent, and ani- mated, with mirthful, blue eyes, and rosy cheeks, indicating an abundance of vitality. Of course, tendrils of such tropi- cal natures require careful transplanting. It is hardly fair to graft them upon the frigidity of an Englishman's love. A physiognomist never looked a married Englishwoman in the face without thinking that she had lived her whole life trying to please without succeeding once, so that a no use, I can't expression became engraved upon her features. The delicate texture of womanly love and loveliness is not appre- ciated by these boorish Englishmen. These English travelers invariably have something to say about American people and American hotels after they return to their side of the Atlantic. All the writings that I have seen of these returned home English travelers reads like a plea in self-defense, conscious of having been ridiculous while here, themselves. They square the matter to their own feelings by telling their friends that the Americans are unmannei^y people. For holding open a door for an Ameri- can lady to- pass and not receiving thanks from her, "a supercilious English cad" published that American ladies have no politeness. American ladies are not helpless, and may be, in this particular instance, the lady would have been more thankful if the "cad" had minded his own business. ABUSES, OR ABOUT HOTELS. 19 English travelers find a great deal for comment in the words "guess," "reckon," and "is that so?" often used by Americans. May be English travelers do not know that real worth is not vaunting. An ignoramus may think that he knows everything that there is to know, but a really wise and learned man will frankly admit that there is a great number of things that he must "guess," or "reckon," or have doubts about. May be they don't know that the words guess, reckon, is a polite concession to the anticipated different opinion of some one else. When he has learned this much he may be ready to admit that these little simple words, guess or reckon, contain the sentiment of politeness that he says Americans have not to a vast extent. In fact, no court phrase in all Europe can equal the pure sentiment of polite- ness that prompts an American to say I reckon or 1 guess. "Is that so ?" has the essence of politeness in a large measure. When a person says "Is that so?" he of course wishes to impress upon the narrator that what he hears is new to him, consequently interesting; he also avers by this happy ex- pression that he is thankful for the knowledge received. Those English travelers do not know what they are writing about, or else they must have got their ideas from observa- tion in the hotel dining room, which is no criterion of Ameri- cans. The American people do not live in hotels. Hotel life represents only the uncultivated fruit of civilization in the United States.