PS 635 O PLAYS EXCHANGED. .Z9 > C8995 Copy 1 [15 CENTS. \ THE AMATEUR STAGE. ^^o. 57. ^^^^' '% ^ CREAM OF LOYE. NEW YORK! J^APPY ^OURS pOMPANY, PUBLISHERS, No. 1 CHAMBERS STREET, A Catalogue of Plays, giving the number of acts and characters, costumes and scenery- required, and time of representation of each, will be sent free, to any address. How f e Manapfl Our Private Theatricals. In Arliich will be found iilaiii directions for the construction and arrangement of the Stage, painting the Scenery, getting up the Costumes, making the Properties and Accessories, Hints on Stage Eifects, full and complete instructions for making Calcium Lights, etc., etc., with numerous illustrations and diagrams. To which is added "Penelope Anne," a roaring farce for home performance. Prepared for the use of schools, i)rivate families, and dramatic clubs. Price '45 Cents. Tlie Actor's Art. Its Requisites and how to obtain them, its Defects and how to remove them. Containing clear and full directions in every brancli of the Art; with complete and ■valuable instructions for beginners, relative to rehearsals, entrances and exits, gen- eral hints on action, qualities of voice, etc. , etc. In short, an indispensable book to the amateur. Price 15 Cents. Parlor TaJileani ; or, Aniiatefl Pictures. Por the use of Families, Schools and Public Exhibitions. Containing about eighty pojiular subjects, with plain and explicit dii-ections for arranging the stage, dress- ing-room, lights, full descriptions of costumes, duties of stage manager, properties and scenery required, and all the necessary directions for getting them up, so that any one can act in them. Everything is stated in a plain, simple manner, .so that it will be easily understood ; everything like style or unnecessary show has ben avoid- ed, in order that all may readily grasp at the author's meaning. For public or private entertainment, there is nothing which is so interesting and instructive as the tableaux. Price 35 Cents. Slaflow PaDtoniinies ; or, Harlepin in the Slafle. How to get them up and Iioav to act in them ; with full and concise instructions and numerous Hlustrations. Also full and complete descriptions of properties and costumes. It has been the aim of the author to provide harmless home amusement for old and young, excluding everything objectionable to sound morality and good home training. By Tony Denier, Pantomimist, author of "Tony Deuier's Parlor Pantomimes," " Amateur's Guide," etc. Price 35 Cents. The StMp Speaker. Being a collection of Comic Speeches and Recitations, Burlesque Orations, Stump Speeches, Laughable Scenes, Humorous Lectures, Button-Bursting Witticisms, Ri- diculous Drolleries, Funny Stories, etc., etc., translated into the four modern lan- guages—Yankee, Dutch, Irish, and Ethiopian— for the convenience of the public at large. Price 15 Cents. Ventrilopism Made Easy, and Tie SecoM-Silit Mystery, As practiced by Robert Heller and others, fully explained. In this little volume ^o place all the wendtrs of Ykntkiloqtjism at the command of our young friends. Price 25 Cents. Either of the above will be sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of the price, by HAPPY HOURS COMPANY, No. 1 Chambers St., New York. THE ^^M^TEUR ST^GE. THE CREAM OF LOVE, A FAECICAL SKETCH, IN ONE ACT, WITH THE CAST OP CHARACTERS, COSTUMES, SIDES OP ENTRANCES AND EXIT, RELATIVE POSITIONS OP THE DRAMATIS PEESON.E, TIME OP REPRESENTATION, ETC., ETC. N E W y R K : HAPPY HOURS COMPANY, No. 1 CHAMBERS STREET. THE CEEAM OF LOYE. DKAMATIS TEESONiE. Harry Holystone, Fall of mischief. Hezekiah Eackofbones, Full of aches, George Gaylove, Fall of frolic, Mrs. Churndasher. Fall of spite. Clementina, Fall of love. Miss Pickspidees, Fall of gossip. Time of Bepreseniation. — Tldriy Minutes, COSTUMES. Harry Holystone. — First dress : Sailor's. Second dress : An as- trologer's. Hezekiah Backofhones. — Brown cloth, old fashioned, suit ; knee breeches ; grey stockings ; shoes and buckles ; long cravat ; old man's wig ; felt hat ; comforter wrapped round it over the head. George Gaylove. — Black velvet suit of the period. 3frs. Churndasher. — A tuck up for a hearty old Avoman. Clementina. — The same, for a young woman. Miss Pickspiders. — Old fashioned dark grey tuck up, no skirts, old fashioned head dress, bonnet and wig ; pale face, pinched ; red nose ; fan ; satchel with long ribbons. PEOPEETIES. Kitchen furniture, including table, chairs, stool, &c. Fireplace set, complete, u.e.r. Curtains to window, r.f. A churn b.c. A piece of paper. Bag of gold. Copyrighted 1877 TMP92-008971 THE CREAM OF LOVE. Scene. — A Connlvy Kliche)). Window in k. Jiaf. Door in l. Jlat. Fireplace set, complete, u.e.r. 7>oo7' s.e.e. Chairs, table, and all the garniture appropriate to a kitchen — the most prominent thinq heh\roposed as your future husband she will decidedly object to it. Hezekiah will soon visit you, and you must play the agreeable to him and make him think you are madly in love with him. Clem. Oh, Harry ! I can't do that, and you won't want me to do it, will you? " (PonLs aUltle. Harry. (PatHnr/ Jier cheek. ) I know it will be hard, yet it is a part of my scheme, and it will make us happy in the end. (Mnhrace. Clem. And for that I would do almost anything, Harry ! (Knock heard h d.f.) Who can that be? Harry. ( Gohig to lolndow inT..¥.) It's old Hezekiah. Clem. Fly, Harry. Go into this room ; there is a door leading to the road, and you can pass out unobserved. (He kisses her ami e.vlts s.k.r. She opens door l.f., and ushers in Hezekiah. Clem. (K.) Oh, Mr. Hezekiah, pray sit down. I am so glad to see you. Hez. (Aside, r-.) She said she was so glad to see me. and that makes me feel nice. (He sits. Aloud) And so am I to see you. Almost as glad as when I got rid of the neurology. It's a dreary world for a man who has the gout and the head-ache, the ear-ache and the tooth-ache, the limbs-ache and the lumbago, corns on his feet and a crick in his back, to live alone. Clem. And why not get married, Mr. Hezekiah ? Hez. Who would have an old man like me, with his thousand of aches? By the way. Miss Clementina, were yon ever in love? Clem. 1 don't know. What's love? And hov/ does a person act when in love? Hez. Like a fool. 6 THE CEEAM OF LOVE. Clem. Eh! what! Ilez. No, I meiiu as if the worUl Avas nil cokl and dark, and yon wanted to be put in your grave, with a weeping widow mourning over you. Clem. Are you sure it is a loldoio ? llez. Well, it's either a willow or a widow. It don't matter which, so long as one knows what's meant. Clem. I guess it must have been willow, for I've felt so often. I sometimes sit by tie Mindow and sigh like this : heiglio ! And tlieu I feel my heart go bumpity-bump when somebody goes by ; something like tliis : (Churns vigoronsly, and contbines doing so for some ihne. Ilez. And may I be so bold as to ask you who that somebody is ? Clem. I always feel my heart go so, that is, biimpity-bumpity- bump, when you are inuler (he window. Hez. (Pleased.) Ah ! indeed ! Clem. (Aside.) For fear that you will stop. (Aloud,)' Yes, for you, Mr. Backofbones, you, M'ho make my heart go bumpity- bump ! ( Churns. Hez. (Groaning. ) Ongh ! Clem. Was that a sigh of love ? Hez. No, it was caused b}'^ a pain in my side. Clem. I thought it came from you heart. Hez. No, not that time, but I had the heart complaint yester- day. Clem. And ie it possible that a man of your wealth and standing can look upon a poor girl like me with eyes of love ? Hez. It is possible. Nay, I do. Clem. And do you really love mo ? Hez. On my honor. Clem. And will you swear it? Ilez. I will. Clem. On your knees ? Hez. On my two knees. Clem. Tlieu get down upon them at my feet and swear it. Hez. (After much stumbling, finally drops on his Jcnees a)ui ex- claims:) 1 swear that I love you, dearest Clementina, that if you'll let me, I'll live for you, and die for you ! Clem. Fiddlesticks! I don't want a dead husband. Sorry comfort ihixt would bring a wife. Hez. Clementina, loveliest of your sex, will you be mine? Enter 'Mas. Chuendasher and Miss Pickspiders, door l.f. Mrs. a (LC.) What's this I see ? ( Table mi. Miss P. (L., aside to her. ) Didn't I tell you so ? Mrs. C. What does this mean, Mr. Ivackofbones ? Hez. (E.G.) It means tnat I madly love your daughter. • THE CREAM OF LOVE. Y Mrs. G, This takes nie all of a surprise ! Hez. Aud I have every reason to believe that she loves me quite as madly, if not madderer, than I love her ! f Rises. 3Iiss'P. r Aside to her. ) There, didn't I tell you so ? Mrs. C. Clementina! is this true? Clem. (r. ) Can you doubt the word of my Hezekiah ? Mrs. C. But I thought j'ou were in love -with Harry Holystone. Clem. I was once, but I'm afraid he's dead ; if so, he'll never be able to Jioly stone my hearth. 3Irs. 0. Well, I've alius said no child of mine should marry where she wishes, and it strikes me it would be no more than a motherly duty not to accede to your wishes. Clem. AVhat ! would you break my heart, motlier? You caunot be so crnel? (Mother and daurjhler retire to converge. Miss P. (L , aside.) Here's a good chance for me. (Aloud, otjles him.) My dear Hezekiah— I should say, respected Mr. Rackof- bones — as Mrs. Churndasher does not seem inclined to allow you to wed Clementina, can't you think of some one else who would be glad to have you ? Hez. (r.) No; can you? Miss P. Well, I've always thought I should like to have the care of another. Hez. Bat I don't wish for a nurse. Atiss P. (Oglbighim.) Ill-natured man. I meant as a wife. Hez. A wife? No ! you are too old. Miss P. (Screams, then bristles ?(p to him.) And what are you, I'd like to know? An old, withered, dried-up specimen of humanity called man. A man ? No ! you're a mummy ! A bundle of aohes walking abroad and cheating the undertaker and the grave-maker. But, in cheating them, you are only making tlie fortunes of the venders of quack medicines with your thousand aches, o-o-ld liack- ofbones ! Hez. Miss Pickspiders, you astonish me. 3[iss P. Perhaps, if I do, it will cure the rheumaticks ! Hez. Miss Pickspiders, you antedeluvian old whiner, you eleclrify me. 31iss P. Ah, brute ! You're a canting old hypocrite, that's what you are— that's what you are. (Sluikes Iter head at tdm. Mrs. C. ( Separating them, l.c.) Good people, don't carry on at this heathenish rate, or you'll alarm the neighborhood. H^z. (r.c.) Had I previously given Miss Pickspiders cause for this abuse, I shouldn't wonder at such wholesale vituperutiou. Miss P. (L,.) Given me cause indeed! Didn't he look at me and wink, as though he was about asking me to be his'n ? Hez. Never, never, never ! ( Stamps Jus foot.) Kever ! (Groa)is.J Oh! Clem. (R ) How can you crush my thoughts of ever hoping to be the adored of one who you would wisli me to believe loved Mrs. a Han 'y- Mrs. a Han 'ii- 3Ls. a Ilarri/. Mrs. a ILin 11- 8 THE CKEAM OF LOVE. Hiiother? Oh, Miss Pickspiders, aud Lave you ever tliougbt of my Hezekiah with feelings of love? ( K)wck at door l.f. Mrs. Chtjrndashek runs to window B.r., and louks out. ) Mrs. C. It's the astrologer come to exorcise the witches iu luy creaiu. Enter Harry, door in i..r., disguised as an astrolorjer, in a long, flow- ing robe, on icincJi are painted cab(distic duiraders, followed by George Gaylove. Harry. (Gomes down e. of JIrs. Churndasher, George on the Ju) Is this the abode of her who goeth by the name of Mrs. Chura- dasher ? It is, and I am that individual. Yon are troubled with witclies. Right ! Do you desire me to exorcise them ? If you can. (Hezeeiah retires up stage r., ready to come down l. "Will you follow my commands? To the letter. First, idlow me to place the charm most potent iu its workings into this churn. (Puis a piece of paper in the churn, pin- ving it o*i the inside.) Now, from this moment cast your eyes up to the ceiling, and repeat the mystic words after me, line by line. (Mrs. Churndasher steps two or three paces forward, and re- peals each line after Harry's dictation : "Hicker^'. snickery, suackery, snuni, I really wish my butter'd come ; For here I'll churn until I'm sore — "Witches away and come no more." (Harry speaks to Mrs. Churndasher aside^ Geo. (Aside.) Now is onr time. ( Retires a little. '3fiss P. (I..C.) How romantic. Hez. (Coming down Ij.) Did you say rheumatic? Miss P. No ; romautic, you old dolt ! Harry. Atid you will consent to all, Mrs. Churndasher? Mrs. 0. Yes, to everything. Harry. And you will promise not to interrupt our incantations? Mrs. 0. I promise. Geo. (Comes down B.C.) Then I can proceed. Henry Holystone, do you promise to love, honor aud cherish Clementina Churndasher as vour wedded wife? ilurry. I do. Geo. And Clcuicntina Churndabber, do your promise to love, THE CREAM OF LOVE. \) lienor, cherish and obey Heury Holystone as your wedded hus- band? Clem. (R.) I do. Geo. Then, as justice of the peace, I here i^ronouuce you niiiu and wife, (Passes Clementina over to Haruy and gets r. Harry. The charm's complete. You may now speak, Mrs. Chtirndasher. 3Irs. C. ( Boiling loilh rage, c. ) What's this I see ? What's this I hear? What does all this mean? Harry. ( Throwing off astrologer's costume. ) It means, my dear madam", that your batter is come. That everything is doiie, and everybody ! Mrs. C. What ! married, under my very nose ! Geo. (R.) But you must acknowledge that it was not without your consent. Mrs. G. If that Harry Holystone is mean enough to marry my child in that way, he is mean enough to poison my butter, and I wouldn't a bit wonder if he put arsenic into the churn. Harry. To convince you to the contrary, behold ! ( Goes to the churn and takes out paper, which he reads.) " Patience and i^erse- verance conquer all things." Mrs. G. Well, I must confess I have been taken in, but I'll never acknowledge you as my son-iu-iaw. Harry. ^Vhat ! not 'if I had my pockets lined with gold. ( Takes out hag of gold and sJiOws il. Mrs. G. There, I always did say that you'd turn out a brave fel- low, Harr3% (Embraces him. George. (Aside.) Ah, "Money makes the mare go." Harry. Come, come, Mr. Kackofbones and Miss Pickspiders, don't look so glum. Take pattern by Clementina and me, and steer your bark into the haven of matrimony and the port of wedded bliss. Hez. What say you, Anaslasia ? Miss P. Hezekiah, I am thine. (They embrace^ Harry. Now I believe we have exorcised all the witches. ( To audience.) And if we have cheered up an otherwise dull hour, then we have not labored in vain, and to some purpose have we expelled the witches from the churn, and produced in its stead the (taking Clementina's hand) cream of love. Disposition of Characters. Harry. Mrs. Churn. Clementina. c. Miss P. George. r.c. l.c. Hezekiah. R. L. Cuutain. THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. 1 Eobert Make-Airs. 2 Box and Cox. 3 Mazeppa. 4 United States Mail. 5 The Coopers. 6 Old Dad'a Cabin. 7 The Rival Lovers. 8 The Sham Doctor. 9 Jolly Millers. 10 Villikins and his Dinah. 11 The Quack Doctor. 12 Tho Mystic Spell. 13 The Black Statue. 14 Uucle Jeff. 15 The Mischievous Nigger. 16 The Black Shoemaker. 17 The Magic Penny. 18 The Wreck. 19 Oh Hush ; or, The Virginny Cu- 20 The Portrait Painter. [pids. 21 The Hop of Fashion, 22 Bone Squash. 23 The Virginia Mummy. 24 Thieves at the Mill. 25 Comedy of Errors. 26 Lea Minerables. 27 New Year's Calls. 28 Troublesome Servant. 29 Great Arrival. 30 Rooms to Let 31 Black Crook Burlesque. 32 Ticket Taker. 33 Hypochondriac. 34 William Tell. 35 Rose Dale. 36 Feast. 37 Feuian Spy. 38 Jack's the Lad. 39 Othello. 40 Camille. 41 Nobody's Son. 42 Sports on a Lark. 43 Actor and Singer. 44 Shylock. 45 Quarrelsome Servants. 46 Haunted House. 47 No Cure, No Pay. 48 Fighting for the Union. 49 Hamlet the Dainty. 50 Corsican Twins. 51 Deaf — in a Horn. 52 Challenge Dance. 53 De Trouble begins at Nine. 54 Scenes at Gurney's. 55 16,000 Years Ago. Either of the above will be sent HAPPY 56 Stage-struck Darkey. 57 Black Mail. 58 Highest Price for Old Clothes. 59 Howls from the Owl Train. 60 Old Hunks. 61 The Three Black Smiths. 62 Turkeys in Season. 63 Juba. 64 A Night wid Brudder Bones. 65 Dixie. 66 King Cuffee. 67 Old Zip Coon. 68 Cooney in de Hollow. 69 Porgv Joe. 70 Gallus Jake. 71 De Coou Hunt. 72 Don Cato. 73 Sambo's Return. 74 Under de Kerosene. 75 Mysterious Stranger. 76 De Debbil and Dr. Faustum. 77 De Old Gum Game. 78 Huuk's Wedding Day. 79 De Octoroon. 80 De Old Kentucky Home. 81 Lucinda's Wedding. 82 Mumbo Jum. 83 De Creole Ball. 84 Mishaps of Csesar Crura. 85 Pete's Luck. 86 Pete and Ephraiir». 87 Jube Hawkins 88 De Darkey's Dream. 89 Chris Johnson. 90 Scipio Africanus. 91 De Ghost ob Bone Squash. 92 De Darkey Tragedian. 93 Possum Fat. 94 Dat Same Old Coon. 95 Popsey Dean. 96 De Rival Mokes. 97 Uncle Tom. 98 Desdemonum. 99 Up Head 100 De Maid ob de Hunkpuncas. 101 De Trail ob Blood. 102 De Debbil and de Maiden. 103 De Cream ob Tenors. 104 Old Uncle Billy. 105 An Elephant on Ice. 106 A Manager in a Fix. 107 Bones at a Raffle. 108 Aunty Chloe. . I 109 Dancing Mad. 'no Juliauna Johnson. by mail, on receipt of price, by HOUES COMPANY, No. 1 Chambers Street, New York. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS THE ACTING L..„?..°16 102 836 8 * Single Life. The Boarding School. The Spitfire. The Irish Dragoon. The School for Tigers. Gabrielle tie Belle Isle. The Tipperary Legacy. Deeds of Dreadful Note. A Peculiar Position. A Private Inquiry. I'll Tell Your Wife. The Fast Family. Antony and Cleopatra Married and Settled. My Friend in the Straps. The School for Scheming, (Love and Money). Our Mary Anne. PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. 17 Miseries of Human Life. 18 An Irish Engagement. 19 How to Settle Accounts With Your Laundress. 20 Advice Gratis. 21 A Hasty Conclusion. 22 Weak Points. 23 Grace Darling. 24 A Gray Mare. 25 The Middle Temple. 26 The Original. 27 The Sentinel. 28 The Tiger at Large. 29 Why Did You Die? 30 Sayings and Doings. 31 The Twin Brothers. 32 Ask no Questions. I 33 Cure for Coquettes. 34 The Cabin Boy. ? 35 Who Stole the Spoons? 36 Mrs Gamps Tea and Turn 37 The Village Doctor. [Out. 38 Family Pride. 39 Queen Mary 40 The Three Graces. 41 The Race Ball. 42 Presented at Court. 43 A Sign of.AfTection. 44 The Dancing Barber. 45 Who's Your Friend ? 46 Charity. 47 The Wicked World. 48 Mother and Child are Do- ing Well. 49 Lying in Ordinary. 50 The Ringdoves. THE AMATEUR STAGE. PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. Aladdin and the Wonder- ful Lamp. The Loves of Little Bo- Peep and Little Boy Blue. Little Silver Hair and the Three Bears. Robin Hood; or, the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest. Little Red Riding Hood. The Frog Prmce. Blue Beard ; or, Female Curiosity. Jack, the Giant Killer. Two Gentlemen at Mivarts Dark Deeds. Marry in Haste and Re- pent at Leisure. Wearing of the Green The Result of a Nap. Monsieur Pierre. Virtue Victorious. Love (Burlesque). Afloat and Ashore. Tragedy Transmogrified. Fairy Freaks. A Medical Man. Harlequin Little Red Rid- , ing Hood Fireside Diplomacy. Ingomar (Burlesque). Money Makes the Man. The Happy Dispatch. An Eligible Situation. The Pet Lamb. The Last Lily. The Three Temptations. Katharine and Petruchio (Burlesque). His First Brief. The Girls of the Period Matched but not .Mated. Penelope Anne. A Woman will he a Wo- 36 Caught in his own Toils. 37 Cousin Florence. 38 Lucy's Love Lesson. 39 A Game of Billiards. 40 The Wrong Bottle 41 A Lyrical Lover. 42 A Bad Temper. 43 Women's Rights. 44 Mischievous Bob. 45 A Pint of Ale. 46 The Last Drop. 47 The Wine Cup. 48 Out in the Streets. 49 Mothers and Fathers. 50 Taken in and Done For. 51 All's Fair in Love and War 52 Dross from Gold. 53 Aunt Jerusha's Visit. 54 The Village Belle. 35 Lord Dundreary's Visit. 56 My Peter. 57 The Cream of Love. THE VARIETY STAGE, PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. 1 The Big Banana. 2 Dot Mad Tog. 3 A Gay Old Man Am I. 4 The Law .Allows it. 5 A Leedle Misdake. 6 The Spelling Match. 7 There's Milfions In It. 8 Tootle. Tootle, Too ! 9 Dot Madrimoniai Adver- disemeiit. to Mulcahy's Cat. IT Dot Quied Lotgings. 12 All in der Family. 13 Who Got the Pig? 14 A Mad Astronomer. 15 A Purty Shure Cure. 17 I Love Your Wife. 16 The Ould Man's Coat tails. 18 The Decree of Divorce. 19 Let those Laugh who Win. 2c A Dark Noight's Business. 21 The Lonely Polly wog of the Mill Pond. 22 The Dutchman in Ireland. Either of the above will be sent by mail, on receipt of price, by HAPPY HOURS COMPAlSrY, No. 1 Chambers Street, New York.