t PR50A') H #1/6 # » ■ V C^l MONSIEUR TONSONe A FARCE, IN TWO ACTS. BY WILLIAM T^MONCRIEFF, w AUTHOR OF Giouannr in London — Cheque on my Banker- Spectre Bridegroom^ &c. <^c, &c. *' Begar, here's Monsieur Tonson come again.*' \ J. Taylor, Ilsq AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE-ROYAL, DRURJ^LAN£. NEWYORK: PUBLISHED BY E. M. MUBBEN, Circulaiin^i Library niie (ille. She have de key and can get through the door without our stay up to open it; so I shall go to my nightcap, lor J am very much sleepy and il est si trU'd. Nap. f without J Pa^t ten o'clock I Mor, Ah, dere is Monsieur Nap de Vatch-a- rian, he is come for to go to his box. Yaw'aw — venez Midame, courage ! Lou^s le dv s'uee and de ancienrie regime shall come back hy-ai'd by, very often den we tread the minuet de Ja Cour to* gether again — La, la, lal de ral, de ral ! [Exeunt Morbleu, with Madame Bells- GAKD1?, into the hmtse, singing and dancing tiie Minuet de la Cour. Enter Nap, the Watchman. Nap* Past ten o'clock and a moonlight nighty — Well, I've gone my beat and cried the hour— so now I'll go into my box and have a comforta* ble snooze — Past ten c'ciock I [Exit into the box. ^ Enter Adolpkine, hastily. AdJ. In spite of all my endeavours my pur- suer has traced me here — what will he think of the meanness of this abode, and what persecu- tioas mny I not expect from his atteniious ?- -S,t. HONSIECB TONSON. IS Louis preserve me — 'Tis fortunate I Imvit thfr key — they come — surely they will not att:€mpt to knock — at all event?, they will knock unan- swered by me. [Exit Adolvhi^f. into the house ^ tinlacking and loddng the door. Enter Ardourly and Tom King, in pursuit. T, King. Bravo, victoria ! victoria ! my boy I I told you Tom Km^ would do the business ior you — we've housed her at last. •^rd. Yes, tliere's the mischief of it — wliat are Tve to do now 2 T. King. Why, unhouse her, to be surc^ j4rd. But how ? 2\ King. Knock at the door, Ard. And run away ? y. King. A lover and run away — never ! — stand firm to the last — she may answer the d(>or. Ard. But suppose she shouid'iit, aiid any &Qe else should ? 7\ Kins:. Then we've merely made a mistsiTcc^ that's all/ Ard. Vm afraid we shall be mistaken. 7\ Kin^. Or, we can enquire for some one— Ard. Who ? 1\ King. Oh I Mr. Jenkins, or Mr. Tomkans, or any one we are sure is not there. Ard, But we may be unlucky enou King, Good night I take care you don't catch c«ld.-.r-Good night ! Mor. Bon soir, Mes«iein*9. Glad they are going ? Au re voir 1 Jtixit Morbleu- T,King, Mind your nish-liglit tlon't go out — tia ! ha ! l»a ! wan lliere ever seen so curious ?.u animal ? Let us see i^hat species it belongs to. Leiid me your lauthorn, Charley, (takes Nap's lanlliornj and reads the inscription over MoRBLtt's ilocr.) '• Monsit ur Moibleu, Grand Fcrruqiiier in ^Ijliiaire, Coifciir en geueral,** ba I ha ! ha ! very well, Monsieur Morbleu, Grand IV rrnfjuier I it is au revoir, with us, in- jjeed. We wis! sjicedily become better acquaiu- tf d. Tiicre Charley, Ihert^s your lanthorn and » tiz7y for you, my boy. (returns the lanthorn anff gives Nap sixpence) Zounds, Ardourly ! ISil c'cspcrancliim ! Jrfh I muct — you see she does not appear. VVl^al's to be di/u^ now ? 7\ Kiffg, Tiy agaia. Where is your rasp^ c»L Useful ? , jirt/. At my hotel. T, Kitig, Thru tliat's our point I cannot c^ccenily show my self again to-mcrht to Monsieur, therefore, we'll hrsten to the Sablionere You vri^e a paj^sionate billet to M^ss Morbleu, and let Useful bring i( — he's a sharp dog, and with % little cf my instruction, will soon offord us both sati^faction ^\)i\ amusement. Allons — au revoir, MoLsieiir Morbleu. Ha I ha! ha I [Exctfnt To^vi KiiSG> and Ardourly. Enter Nap, from box. Nap, Rum bjjtdrs, them 'ere; out on a lark, Irtckon! Wc!?, it's no business of mine, so Icng as they don'i come on my beat. Half-past ten! Enter Thompson and Rifsxy. Tms, I tell you, I'm sure this is the place; \)M\. we'll ask the watchman. Pray^^ my fiieocL iin't this the Seven Dials ? l 3 1 4 MONSIEXTR TONSaN, Kap, (holdinsi; lanthwn to Rusty\s face.) Aye master ! to be sure it is. Rus, There I told you so. Whcre-aboutg does one Mour^eer Moreblue live ? iYap. What the barber — Idou'tkuow — that is I think — I can't tell. Rus. (to Thompson) lie thinks he caa't ten. Thorn* Give him a shilling. [ Rusty gives A^ap a shilling Kap. Oh, I know now — he lives right under your nose here — but he's gone to bed. Thotn, We nmet knock hini up, I cannot pause a moment, till my doubts are satisfied, Nap, Tbat^g your budness-^why the old Frenchman h..s quite a congregation to ru^ht« but I must go and call the half hour. Half past ten. [Exit Nap. Thorn. Knock Rustv, knock- — I cannot rest. Rus. No, nor you'll let nobody else rest — Ul- loa I (knocks at MorhleiCs door.) They're a long time coming. Thorn, Knock a^ain — try once more. %,^ T^ Rus. It's no use— however, suppose you wont be contented, so here goes. (Rusty knocks again) Thorn. DoQt you hear a window opening. Rus. Yes, there's somebody getting up in. the garret. Mor. IjOoking out of the garret window) Qui est la — Vat is there s'il vous plait ? vy you knock at the door of n)y maifeon if you arc so good ? Thow. 'Tis he, 'tis he, is your name Morbleu ftiy t»ood friend ? Uor. Qui mon ami. HOXSIECK TONSCN. i5 Tho?n Come down instantiy. — Mor. Sacrtbieu — vat vil not (le matin do Slonsieur ? for I am in bed I Tkcm, No, it is a mutter of life and dej^th I Mor, Miscrecorde, dey vant rne to bieet! some- body. — Yell to oblige \ou Mousieiir. 1 shall get i?p 7'kc7:i. Get up I zounds, my dear frifod, wo "want you to come down ! Mor. And put on mv rulotte. Restez la^ pour uu aiomenl— ileiglio ! 1 never can «:et any rest* (Exit in window, f Thorn He's comiu«; — he's comin£:~and now, thank heaven, I shall have all my doubts silent ^d or confirmed. Enkr Morbleti ^rom Door, ISlor. Yaw aw ! Excusezir.oi, Monsieur, that I have no candel, but I have burnt my rttsh-light all away. Thmn. Make no apologies m^y good friend; the urgent business I come upon precludes all ceio- mouy. You have a lady under your care, bear- in<3; the oaroe of Adolphine de Courcy. Mor. Oui Monsieur, certair>ement, but she nev- er assitDlin dc shop. She never shave any body. Thom^ You doubtless then, must have heard ef a?i unfortunate man of !he name of Thompson. Mor. Diabje ! vol Monsieur Tonson corae again— No sare, I have heard of no Monsieur TonsoD-— I tell you so before, sare — no Monsieur Tonson do live here ; vat you mean by pull me out of my bed in dis way.— By !:ar, it dam bad rjaanner a;id no gentleman. Th&7K, But hear me? my good friend^ tiis Mf* Thompson—— b4 16 MOKSIEIJR 'lOlSSON. Mor. All one cock and one bull — acd if yon cbJI r.w. up again, ma foi, I ghall cliargeyou vilij the Vatch> for keeping de bad hour — diable ! [Exit Movbleu iiilo house, shutting the doer in ThonipBou's Jficc, who vainly attempts to explain,] Them. I see iiow it is, these imperious De Courtjs Irave hired this fellow to keep my wife (for itis doubllvSbly she) btill iu their power — iUii ril have recire&H, V\\ goi to JBow-stieei — they've lock'd her up, and now — Rus. 'Tis hT«:h time I should lock you up. Thorn* J^ay, Rusty, \^7iy^ let us ^o in search of the police — I'll enter tiie Iionse by force — libe- rate my wife, and make a terrible example of I hose who'd detain her from my nrnis. l^Excunt Rusty and Thompson. Enter Useful. U^ef. So, (lie coajt is clear at last— I thoui::l]t. Uiose two old twaddlers would iiever h^ve ^tjue '^— Let me see — my iastructions are> under pre- ?< nrc of inquiring for .Mr. Thompson, to endea- Tour to give this IrMrr u> Miss Morbleu. "Here's the house — now Um^ it — I Knocks at Morbleivs door,'] — No answer :— I'll knock again — \}\k\:\ ! get \m ! get up 1 — \ Kjiocking{rgwn violenlhjA Mor. [appeari/i^ji- at Iks garret window asoe" fore,'] — Eh, rrioa Dieii- is de makoa ou lire, dat jou knock so loud ? Uscf, No, but you're wanied — you must come down directly — I an) sefil here in an official ca- mcit^)s expressly tc but that is aLen to tlie tusiness — Mor, Regar. what does he say about his ofii^ (rial rnpati'y and de ?]Icn business— I must hmt • » MONSIEUR TONSOK. 1 7 dc !)iense?nce, de courtesie to liim — (aside. )'^ 1 res bieii Monsieur ofFicier — I shall come dowo iiiStanterr.ect — iiow J[ am broke of my sleep; lieiiiho ! l^Exii at nindoiv. Use/, So far so ^ood ; — let m« hut oqcc effect ?.Ti entrance — VW soon accomplish all the rest. — Kh ! here olrl Soup Maigro comes. Enter McnisLvv frc^ji ike hmise, snecmrfg, as if from having newly cui/ght cold. Mor. Now, Monsieur officier— sare, I am at your comiiiaud — if you ihiuk so good, bonne grace. Use/. I mereij called Mr. MoybSesi to inquire — Mor. Yes, bare. Uf>ef. If there was one Mr. Thompson— 31or, Vol, Monsieur Tonson again .* Uycf. Yes, one Mr. Thompson — Mcr, Diable, vot you meao, sare— ycu d?m scoundrel, by cofr;e again ? — vot yoa pjeHn by Monsieur Tonsnu, lo bieak my sleep in dis mnQ- iicr ? — f told you two cne, seven time, dere no Monsieur I'or.son here — I know no Monsieur Toneon — ojot dam ! U'^ef. Well, but my good friend, you needn't be so such a passion — if you don't ^naw vbere Mr. ThomptK)n lives — I daresay Miss Moil5li6;u does —If you'll just have tlie goodness to call hfer up — or your servant will do — the housekeeper — any body. Mor. P,irbleu, dis ATorse di\n all — you not routeiit vilh pull meout of my bed dese tree time \\\([ your darn Monsieur Tonson; btU now you A«aot to pidl my ward Mademoiselle Adoipliioe, 9t\(\ my Ir iisekeeper, Mndame Belkgarfie, out of ticd too — Vat i!:ey know about Monsieur Too fim!Vffm';.ilW^\^- ■ \ '' ■'*':^''rK'jy.7»w^^v^" ""ppr , ■>->- >.»or.rHiNK» Trcs biea ve:;u IT!^- ?r-^^. i MONSIEUR TONSON. !'«> Mor, Merci, Madame — volla moa enfant — We have reach fiome safely at last ! You never shall ^o out by yourself to sell your drawing, uuless }ou are alone, if you no like, any more. AdoL Indeed, sir, 1 Ijave but loo good cause for apprehension — The horrid attack made on me this morninj; — Alor. Ah ! by d^^t dana Monsieur Tonson ! Di- able ! he one pe-te; he not content v/ith come and call nie up all night, but he return the first thing to-day to be dress and shave, and when I ran for the constable, he rash to you all r:'zor and Idther — swear you belong to hiin, and make you faint with de apprehension ! Me hope he will no come again to-night. Belle, Sans doute it was some pr.uvre maniac. You see his keeper took him away par violence. 31or, K eper or no keeper, I wish he would keep away from me, mon Dieu ! But you are mis- take, Madame — Dis Mons'eur Tojson is sent by de Convention to kill us, because we are friend to de Grand Monarqae and de ancienne regr-ne. Bdle. Misericorde! we must be much carefuL jMor. I shall not open de docir never, nor go any where in all de world at all without you, Ma- dame, dat if dis Monsieur Tonson should kill us, we (nay be witness for one another to get him hang, AdoL How much loniirr, my generous bf^nefac- tar, aai I to trespass on your }>oiinty ? Is there no clue by which I can discover my parenth ? i\]or^ None dat I know of. ma foi — When de llevokition broke oat, de M irquis de Courcy, my great friend, send for me to de Corjciergerie, where he was wait to he guillotine, commit you to my care as une pauvre orpheline dat belong to the fdmille — -cfear^e me to take you to England ^8 moNsxEUR Tcmsow. und briJig you up — give nie fie trlqket aud de letter dal I ^ive you, and fiuibli de sad tale by having his head chop off de next day ! aSI^ And did he not reveal the oame of my parents ? Mor. No ; he no tell me who was your pere, nor who was your mere. He bid nie call you Adolptune de Conrcy, and prize you as the last of his maison. j4doL Unhappy man ! — unhappy Adolphine I Mor, It great iijisfurtune certainnient, but pourqiioi you grieve ? 1 protect you. You no want father nor mother while I live, and though we no much rich, dis genereuse nation never suf- fer even her enemy to want, but relieve de people in distress one day, they kill very much in de battle the next. But come, it is supper time, and we will go to be^l for I am one ^rreat deal sleepy, and must dornrir for to-nlglit and last night all in one — Venez, ma chere Adolphine — Venez Ma- dame, we will go and get our supper. [Exeunt omnes. SCENE IL—£zt€riar of MoKEi^Ev's Shop. Enter Tom King a7t(l Ardourly; T. King^ The sly old Fox thinks he's got the young Chick all to himself, but he*s mistaken, and so is Madame Partlctt the Heu— we'll soon draw tl'.em out of their coop — Yes, now to begin our holy work for the evening ' Thompson's .T^^ight Thoughts.' Ard. And do you think it will be of any avail ? r. King^ I do; but if we fail again iu attempt- I MONSIEUR TONSOK. Z< in*^ to effect aa ^atranccviu their very teeth, we must resort to stratagem. I have a scheme al- ready prepared that must succeed — vive la ba- gatelle ! Ard, Thou art a strange orenius. Thy godfa- thers mistook when they christened thee Tom King — they should have Qameri thee Joe King-— for such thou ever art — I trust all to tliee. T, King. You shall not be disappoiu^od. Now then, for a coaxir^g, insinuating piece of street- door eloquence^ that shall draw this old French- m:in through a deal board. I'm acquainted with every species of knock, from the single tap of the dan to die thundering lom, torn— torn, torn — tom- a-vom a-tom-tom of the fashionable footn'^n — M^rk lids — [Knocks at Mcrbleu's door.] I hear somebody — th(\ are wailino: for us—Hush — if I can trust my ears, Monsieur and bis rib are dis* putiug which shall come first— wordjy souig. they're so anxious to receive us — listen. Mor, [wHIwi.] Pardonnez moi Madame, dc Marchioness always rank before de g;e«ieraL Belle. [wHhm.] Non, de general always go first — de femme go with the baggage. Mor. [wUhin.] We will split de difTcrencc, and go side by side — you shall unlock de bolt, while I unbolt de lock. Now, Madame. [ Tkc door is opened^ and Morbleu and Madame Bel- leg a rde appear.] T. King. Serviteur, Madame. Your most obedient, Monsieur. Pray, can you inform me if one Mr. Thompson lodges here ? MoTn By gar 'lis Monsieur Tonson come agfiin ! — Rascal, villain — get from my sight — get from my door. I shall be hang for you at once, and kill you outright, if you no go. Oh, dat I 28 MONSIEUR TONSON. had my regiment here lo charge you with theiif bayonet. r. King. It would be of no use my good fiiend ; hi ihe pes forma nre oi my duty an army wouldn't turu me. I have a sacred tru^t to ex- ecute in finding out Mr. Thomi^son, and all )our threats will be of no avail. I am couviuced he is in }our house. 3for. He is no in n\y house, I say. By ear he is no in my hou^e. Siu\ men houneur, he i* no in my house., T, Kuii^, That \yti must ascertain in peison — We must search your house. Mor Vat doubt my honneur — search my mai- sor. — I that hav-^ been great general ? Sacie- hleu, I will be revenged. Dere is no Monsieur ToHron here; I know no Moiisienr Ton^ori. My housekeeper, who was gre»i Marchioness, know dere is tm Monsieur Tou?(>n I'.ere. Belle, Non. non — Mon.^ieur is rl^ht — dere is no Mofis'eur Tonson here. T, Kini(. We must fulfil our duty — 'lis painful to us to Aior. You shall no search my house. T. Kimr. But necessity . AIoK Krep at one (■istaite. . Belle. You eliall no Ci>me in. T King^ W*^ must not stand on ceremony, my good fiiend, so I shall take the liberty to Mor. Sl)ut tlie door in your face, ma foi. [Ereunt Morbleu mid Bellegardi., shttt- tinz the door in King and Ard'tjrly's jacf, Jftsl as they are on the poiiil of (jj'cct- itig an entrance. T. Kiuir. Ha \ ha / ha .' fairly shut out, by p MONSIEUR TONSON. Jove — the portcullis let down just as \re'd cross- ed the bridge. Is Useful in waiting? Arfl. He is at the Sablionere HoteL T, Km^' Now then for stratagem. Durir* the dfiy, I took the liberty of furnishi; g myself \\ith the iippression of Monsieur's street-door lock in wax — a skilful blacksmith has made me a key accordingly. I will now £0 and instruct Uselul how to ^et the old Frenchman out, by some plau- sible story. He once out, well slip in, and while you improve the moments with Miss, I'll make Jove to the old woman. Ard, Tliis indeed promises something. On'y let me have an opportunity of expressing my passion to the dear girl — of proving my disinter- estedness — my sincerity — and I am happy. T. King, Allons, my boy, it shall be done-*. v;t'\\ about it ijiHtarjtly — au revoir, Monsieur. [Exeviit Tom Ki^g and Ardoukly. Enter Mokblf.u and Madame Belleoarde, creeping cautiously from the house. Mor. Prenez garce, Madame. Ob, it is nil right, dat dam Monsieur Tonson is go away. By gar he is one fantome; but we will lay him — you shall put one pail of water in de garret win« dow, aiid when he come again, we will drovrn hirn for one witch. Belle. Oui, and den we shall know which one he is. Mor. Tres hien, tres bien; we will lay and wait for him together in de garret Madame, stkI he shall find it never raio, but it pour water. Dls war, Madame. \^ExeuHl MoRB-LEu and Madame ceretTm- niously into the hause, c 2 *^v,^>,; fV.) MONSIEUR TOMSON. Enter Thompson and Rusxr. Rus. Well, well; on condition that you staiii] on one side and don't interfere, I have no objec- tion to another application heing inad€ to this old Mojaseer, but it must be Jeft all to me — you shall see how I'll manage things. If I don't ob- tain something satisfactory, Pii give you leave to lock me up all the rest of my days, only you keep oat of the v/ay. lliom. I'll not meddle, though I should like to have a hand in it. (retires,) Rus. You shall see how the Frenchm-an will shower his information on me, directly I apply. Are you quite out of the way ? Tkom. Yes. Rus, Then I'll commence operations. [Knocks at Morbleu's door, — Morbicu looks out of window. Mor. Vat is dere ! Who you want, sare ? Rus, I'll open the affair at once — [aside.) — I come from Mr. Thompson, about Mrs. Thomp- son or Miss Thompsor>, whichever it is you are keeping so snugly here. Mor, Yot, Madame Tonson come as well as Monsieur Tonson ! and Mademoiselle Ton- son, too ! Diable, we shall have Maine Tonson and de whole famille of de Tonsonsnest — me fear one pail of waier will not be half enough — I must get de I^ew River turn on.— {aside.) Belle, [peeping over Morhhtis shoulder) YoTt nre von great story, sare — Monsieur here keep no Madame Tonson, no Mademoiselle Tonson-^ he keep no woman but me and Mademoiselle Adolphine. Mor. Non; Madame is right-^T keep np MONSIEUR TONSON. 3 woman but' clem — dere is no Tonson lirre as I tell yoM before. Bus. Come, come, tins won't do ; I'm n . to be sei»t olf Avitli such an answer as this. 3I(n\ Non- — deti by gar 1 ninsf a/^gwer 5 on iavon oder nav. Rus» 1 knew 1 should get something move fioin bim. Mfir. Bat first, permettez moi to ask you on« qii''StTOf>, sart — Avez vous haii your su[)[)ere ? Hus Supper ! — no, to be sure I haven't. A/on, take d^L^.-^C Empties rva- Ur mi Kiisty.) [Exntfit Thnnipson and Rusty, hasliltfy calling out murder^ Sic. 6tc. Enter Morbleii. Mor. Ila ! ha ! ha I dat dam Monsieur Ton* son has got one diy k lor hib supper. Qui, oni; l»p hiis had de wr»tf r, and now he will ^^\^\\ for de ^re, so 1 shall si:ive h'^m one warm reception de ifcext time he come. Vere is Monsieur Yatch— ^lonsieur Yatch ! Enter Nap. NaT). Here I am, Mounseer — but it*s not my lime yet. Mor, Yere is your great big blunderbuss ? Nop, At home. Mvr. You shal! £0 and fetch it, load it with pfuwder and Ihtlepeas, so dat it may not kill any- body, den po up and ke^'p wa^ch in mr gari( t, and ven di- iton ieur Tonson come ag'*iiu shoot hiiu, and make him all over plump pudding; dese o2 MONSIEUll TONSOK. Auglois like dat. Oui ; you shall pepper him all over, for one seasorring ; he has had de duck, now he shall have de peas. iVflp. I'll take care he shall smell powder, Mounseer, but I mustr/t go off my beat iu this coat — ril put it m my box till I come back. Mor, Do ; dere is de "key of de street door — you can let yourself in when you come back, and take yonr post in de garret whenever you like. Nap, That won't be lonji, my cellar e'nt far ofK [ Ptdls off his watchman* s coat, puis it into his box J and exits. Mot. Dat settled, I can have some sleep once more — fur 1 am very large sleepy. [^Exit Mor. Enter Useful. Use. Wfieedlc the old Frehchman out — hang liim, he's just gone in — but I must obey instruc- tions.— (/moc/j.s at door,) — ^Now for a good round lie. — (knocks again,) — Zounds, the Frenchman don't come. Mor, (above.) It no do, Monsieur Tonsou — you have change your clothes for no purpose at all — I shall not cofine down — you had better call again in one half hour to come. Use. My dear friend, you entirely mistake; I come from no Mr. Tonson; 1 don't know any such person ; I come for you — you are wanted at Court immediately. Mor. Court ! — by gar, den Louis le Desiree !ias sent for me to be shave. Oui, oui; I Avill come down directly— any ting to make my way to de Court. [_Exit in rvindofv. Use. Mt; bites — Court I — yes, he shall go to St. Martin's-couit,and there I'll leave him — th«re jiever was such a fellow as Useful — m^ master Kever had Useful's fellow. MONSIEUR TONSOK. 33 Enter Moi bleu /rotn House, Mot. Now, sare, I am here all ready — tout pret. Use. Ready to pray, Monsieur! nonsense; — are you ready to walk? because it you are, aU lons^ i'or we haven't a minute to lose. Mo]\ Oh, oui, certainnient— apres vous, Moa- »eur. U&e. Damn ceremony — this way f this way ! [Exeunt Morbleu and Usel'uL 1 Enter Tom King and Ardourly. ^ Mni:^, There they go — ^the old fox is bagg'd— Ipow, then, to try it" the locksmith's daughter is Uae to us; — here^s a clear coast and a lair oppor- taaity. (Opsns do(>r.J — Yes, it's a!i ri«hl — the ^oor is open— love invites you — tlie rubicon lies ivefore you— you have only to cross it and b^ fcappy, you do^, Ard. Ten thousand thanks — but you - KiHf^. On second thoughts, I'll keep watch ^thout here, to guard ai^jainst surprise; in with you. Wliere can 1 conceal myself^? Hey! rounds, this w;itchbox — is there anv body in it I What's here? A watrh-coat, rattle, and Ian- thorn. — Where's the owner? Tempus higit ? Aye, and the chronicler of time hath flown too. As h'^^s deserted his post, TIJ make bold to take it. — [Dresses kmself in Nap's coat, &:c )— Now^ then, I'm ns good a watchman as any Charley among them. — Past ten o'clock, and a stavdiiiht nmvinng I l^Exeitnt Tom King into watchbvXj and Ardourly into house — the for- mer criming the hour grotesquely^ c 4 S4 HONSIEUR TONSON. 6CFNE II. — Ati apartment in the house of Mor- bleu. Enter Adolpliine. Adol. Why am I unprotected thus ? Few fond memorials of parents belov'd, though uoknown — What fiope have 1 from thee : dear nameless image of a mother's beauty [-^[looking at a m* T.iature which she takes Jrom her bosom] — brief records of a father's love. — [looking at letters.] — ir^ The darigf r that forbade the hazard of a name * before, for ever shuts out all disclosure now, and ; I must still live on, hopeless, joyless, kinless,/ friendless ! [ Ardourly appears stealing ir^ Ard. Not so, sweet ^irl — here at tiiy feet kneelf one who would be friend, kin. all to thee. Adol, Ha ! rash youth ! what brings you here* at this untimely hour ? How did you gain ad-^^ mittance — surely I have not been betrayed ? ^' Ard. Banish your fears; I cannot live wnthoTir you. — As a proof of my sincerity, I will this mo^ meut conduct you to the altar. J" AdoL For heaven's sake, sir, I conjure you. leave me. Should you be discovered here aud^ at this hour, how would the w^orld Ard. I must carry her off by a coup de main. At lovers perjuries — (aside) — you alarm yourself unnecessarily. Your oruardian sanctions, nay, has desired this visit — he has obtained tidings of your parents. Adoh Ah ! of my parents ! oh, where is he ? Ard, He has sent me hither, purposely to con- duct you to him; this key is witness of my ve- racity. AdoL Fortunate, unlooked-for occurrence. I MONSIEUR TONSON. 35 little thoui^ht the messenger that call'd my guar- dian out just uo'A'^ uas one of so much joy. Let's not lo?e a moment. jird. Side's mine ! she's mine ! this cote will prevent ail unnecessary alarm. [thro7vs note on tabu unperceived by Adolphinc ] This way? this way, my charmer ! [Exeunt Ardourly tvilh Adolphine. Enirr Madame Belleojarde. Belle. Whore mou enfant Adolphine, that she no come for lier supper ? Yat do I see ? If I ran believe my eyes, I see her not here I and vot mean dis papier :'-^[reads] — *' Ven next you be- hold your Ward, siie ^rill be maitresse of de House of Tonson."~Mon Dieu ! de pauvre child is {^one-^dat Monsieur Tonson has take lier. Oh, misericorde ! what a dark night is dis — vere Monsieur Jlorbleu? Pauvre enfant? pauvre enfant ! Monsieur ! Monsieur I .* [Exit, callwg and lamenting p SCENE III — Exterior of Morbleu's House, as before. Enter Kinor in Nap's coat, &c. from Watchhox. T. King. Past ten o'clock, and a GasA\^hl night! Ail's quiet yet. \ peeps at door.] Eh, liere he comes, and not without his errand. He has stormed the fort, and now, soldier-like, is re- trratirifi: with his ba^55ao:e. Enter Ardotirly from House, with Adolphine. Ard. [aside to T. King.] I've succeeded— she's mine. This way, sweet ^irl — this way I T. King. Muni ! he's carried her olT safe ctiough — somebody coming ; Til into my box. [Exit T. Ki!ig into Box. 38 inONSIEUR TONSON. Enter Nap mth Blunderbuss, Nap. There; I've loaded it just enough to leave its mark behind it — one mustn't go to kill any body. Where's the key, that 1 may take my post 10 the garret and wait for this Mr. Towi]send~he shall nap the contents of this di- rectly he knocks at the door as sure as my name's Charley. I shall have plenty of time to cry the hour by- arid -by. [Unlocks door ^ and enters house. r. King, [from Box.'] Hum ! it's lucky I staid ! beware of sprinij^ ^uus ! gad, here's a cus- tomer for him As I live, the old Frenchman ; snug's the word — 1 smell some mischief. Enter Morbleu. 3for, Diable ! dat it should be all von hoax at last, Dat dam Monsieur Tonson is down at de bottom of it alh I am so vex, dat I could almost shoot myself for de chagrin-— I will get to bed. [s:oinar to knotk^ draws back,] Stay.^ vere is Monsieur Nap — he may make mistake, and shoot me foi dis Tohfou. T. King, [nnttlering.] Past twrlve o'clock ! Mor. dh, he is dere iii his box ; it is all comme il faut ! [knocks at door.] Madame ! Madame J3ellrgarde ! Nap. \ above,] Aye, aye. Master Townseed — you blackgaard, take that. Fro guard here. [Jires at Morbleu. Mor. Oh, by gar, T am murder ! I am kill— dat damn Monsieur Tonson : vatch ! vatch ! — I am mort— Madame Bellegarde — Oh dear! oh dear ! A^ap. Eli ! zounds, what have T done ? I've shot Mouiiseer Powder Blue — here's a business ! E7iler Tom King,/ro??i Bojt. r. King. Ila! ha! ha! It's high time for me #/ HONSiEVR TONSOK. 3f tx) 1>{5 u?i. [^Pulls P^ Nap's t:o«f, (£'c:r?7 laughing. Belle, \_looks out of rvindow,] Dieu me'a guaide — quel horror ! Mor. I am dead— shot through my body— oh, I am dead ! I am dead ! I will no stop in dis maison any tnore.^- [Exit Morbleu hastily. Nap and Madame at the windows^ holding up their hands in astomshrnent. SCENE IV. — A Room in th Elephant and Cas- tle, Newingto7u Enter Suap and VVaiiers, preparing Room. Snap. Now, boys, bustle about, the couches will be coming in soon — all stop at the Elephant and Castle, you know. Get the room ready for passengers. Fip, (witlwut.) VVailerj Waiter ! 8nap, This way, sar, this way-this is the parlor. Enter Fip. Fip, Has there been a French lady here, en- quiring for Mr. Fip or Mr. Assigqat.^ Snap. No, sar. Fip, Theij the Dover coach has not come in yet? Sfiap. Not yet, sar. Fip, I shall be in the way when it does. Snap. Very well, sar. [Exit Snap. F^p, Who the deuce is this French lady my niavtcr, old Assignat, lias sent me to meet. Some nun^ I think he says, coming from Calais; to take refuge in thecon; eni at Hammersmith, I suppose •--I'm to give lier tiii? letter, and take her to our chambers in Paper fiuildl -gs— de tout mon cceur. Nolnwycv^s clerk m the kingdom ib more au fait at any thing ot this kbd than I am, or cuts a V^etter figure , I flatter myself, on eighteen shil- lings a week than I io. VV?fl, I'll go and lookv M the paper till the coach comes iq. y^ti^W 38 MONSIEUR TONSON. Enter S'\np:shorving in MorMciT. Snap^ This way, bar, this >s ili'e parlour, ^^^-- plenty of coichfs — Biiglitou, Dover, Ram^•gatc — ?ji^y V he;e you like to go to, sar. Mor. B^j::ii\ i 1 ke to jio any where, where I no w,riii \v!ih tliit (laniit Monsimr Tonson. Oli my p.-iiivie hnci;, 1 am ail pepper and tVi^ht. Symp* A--, you've not trsatle up your njind whrre 3^ou'(i please to go, have you made up your mind Avhat you'd pi ease lo take, sar ? Mor. Eh, bien — ah ! j'ai tres grande faim. I shall take one pork sliop. Snap. J>nj't thiuk liiere's any to let about this neighbouiiiood, s«r. Mor. ]Vonse;Js( — ycu nnake de grand mistake. Snap. A steak ? very welL sar. Mor. Veil, a bteak will do very well, sare, and waiter. Snap. Steak and water — h -ve Vm directly, sar — one on the fue now. Cookey, dish up that steak with a glass of water, for the foreigfn gen- tleman here, [calling off. Enter Fip. Fip. Wellj ^vaiter, coach come in yet, eh ? Snap. No, sar. Fip. llmw*^ then I cjust amuse myself as \\e\\ ?.s I c^n til! it does ; have you any books of any ki[](i ? any of the Poets ? We lawyer's ile ks al- wai's pattoijis(: the poet —best judges* in the world. Snap, Our ba-rriaid has, I believe, sar; I'll get yau one directly. [Exit Snap. Mcr. Vat vil pa:-v!C Mad-^me Bellegarde do now I leis^e niy e!io;> ? Though slie grande Mar- chioness, she must go to the workhouse, nia foi, and Madeaioi^elle Adolphi:.e, pauvre enfant \ I MONSIEUR TONSON, 39 Enter Snap, with steak and water. Snap, Your steak, sar. [to Mot, Mor, Tres, bon garcon— I am very faint, sol sinall take a Snap, Glass of water, sar. [putting it down.] Mor, Veil, 1 may have worse ting, so 1 shall make myself content with dis. Fip, WeJI, waiter, wbere's my book ? Snap, Beg- your pardon, sar, here it is. Alor, NoiV for one nice piece. Fip, Ha ! what have we here ? — the Seasons ! — my old favourite, Thompson. M(>r, Vot ! Tonson ? Fip. Yes, Thompson — don't you admire him I Mor, Monsieur Tonson here I — mon Dieu ! den he is everj where — at home, and abroad, and every place, beside. 1 have leave my house for him — I have leave my shop for him, and now ha make me leave de country and my steak for him* Oh. Monsieur Tonson, Monsieur Tonson ! [going.) Fip. Stay, sir, here is some mistake. Snap. Pay, sar — you've forgot the steak. [Voice without.) Dover coach! — that way, ma'am, you'll find the gemman there. [iMoibleu, in. atteinpting' to depart kaMily^ runs against Mrs. Thompsom, who is enter- ing at that 'moment, preceded by waiter. Waiter. A room for Mrs. Thompson, here. Mor. Diable! Je vous demande mi-le pardons, madame ; but dat dam Monsieur Tonson Mrs. llio, A countjyman, and pronouncing the name of Thompson I Can you give me any in- formation of Mr. Thompson, sir? Mor, Eh, Diable ! Fip. My dear sir, 1 regret that the name of our immortal Thomson Mor, Immortal ! by gar, he is immortal ; for there never will be any end to him — he come at all seasons.' Fip, Yes ; his Seasons are his noblest wt)rk. lo m^m l» ' J. i ■ !i*f-v.V'y f Bt^s.w>y^ ^ ■40 HONSIFUR TONSON. srpite of your dislike, sir, j^on must allow me to say> 1 think his death was a great loss to the country. •Mor. Dead ! what, is Monsieur Tonson dead ? J^Irs, Tiio, U it is of Mr. Thompson you are speaking:, sir, I believe there is but too little doubt on that subject. Ftp, No doubt at all, ma'am, I could convince you of it in a minute. Mor. Den I will ^o back to my shop as^ain ; ha 1 ha! I am so glad ! Bon jour, madame ! bonjour, monsieur! Monsieur Tonsondead! ha! ha! lira la, lira la, Monsieur Tonson is dead ! [Exit singing, Mrs. Tho. Very strange, the death of m*y hus- band should excite such joy in a countryman ! Fip. You come from. Calais, I presume ? Mrs. Tho. I do, sir. Fip, This letter, then, will explain every thing. Mrs, 7 horn, [recuh'n^.) '' Madam, agreeably to your instructions from Paris, through Monsieur Dupin, 1 have caused advertisements to be insert- ed in the newspapers^ offerino: a reward for any information on the subject of your husband's death, hitherto without effect. Respecting the young lady, Miss Adoiphine de Courcy, whom you enquire about, I have discovered that she Jives with a Monsieur Morbieu, a Perruquier, in the Seven Dials, whither my clerk will wait to conduct you, as also to the residence of your humbleservant, Louis Assignat, Paper Buildings, May IG, '96." Let me not lose a moment ia clasping the dear child in my arms. Fip. ril conduct you thither instantly, madam -—this way, this way — Fine woman, 'pon my ve- racity 1 [Exeunt, SCENE THE LAST. Exterior of Morbleu's House, Enter Morbieu, singing, Mor. " Monsieur Tonson is dead!" I will open my shop again, {opens simtters.) Madame^ Madame Bellogardel {knocks at door,} MONSIEUR TONSON* A\ Enter Madame Bellegarde. Embrassez, enibrassez, madame, Monsieur Ton- son is dead ! Belle, Ob, monDieu! 11 est possible, monsieur? Alor, Oui, oui, madame— it is all true enough. Monsieur Tonson is dead as de nail door, and vil never trouble us a^ain. We sball live in great clover now, and sleep as quiet as the night long. So we will go in and have the little drop of the white liqueur dat these English call Geneva, and drink confusion to Monsieur Tonson. Monsieur Tonson is dead ! Belle. If we had but Mademoiselle Adolphine here, monsieur. Mor, N'importe, n'importe ; she shall not be lose — de bellman shall run after her very hard to- morrow. Come, madame ? [Exeunt into house ^ singing and dancing.^ Etiter Tom King. T.King, Ha! here's the scene of frequent mirth. My poor old Frenchman ! I wonder if he's at home -egad. Ml knock and see. [knocks*'} Mor and Belle, appear at door^ singing, Mor. Well, sare — you want to be shave ? T, King. Mounseer himself, as 1 live ! Pray, «ir, does one Mr. ' homson live here ? Mor, Got dam ! — here Monsieur Tonson come again ! I am paralize ! Belle, Oui; Monsieur Dead ! dis is his ghost ! Enter Ardourly and Adolphine. Adol, My word is pledged ; unravel the mys- tery of my birth, and that moment my hand is yours. Ard, I swear it !— You are ray cousin ; these letters which you have shown me, as the only re- lics of your father, are in the writing of my un- cle ; the initials, too, correspond, P. T., rere- grine Thompson. Mor, Two Monsieur Tonsons!! — I am thun-^ derstruck ! Belle. Dis is de Monsieur Tonson dat steal off mademoiselle ! A2 MONSIEUK XONSON. Tl Kin^. Jack Ardourly! Ard. Tom King — congratulate me Enter Rusty cmd Thompson, tiie latter with a J\ewspapsr. Thorn, I don't care, Rusty.- this is my wife's advertisement, and I will anawer it in person. Ha ! here is the Frenchman himself. Now, sir, Mr. Thompson is not dead. I am Mr. Thomp- son, and demand my wife. Jlor. Three Monsieur Tonsons ! ! ! Mon Dieu ! dere is no end of dem — Your wife is no here, I telj you — Your wife is Enter Fip and Mrs. Thompson. ?Yp. This way, madam — this is Monsieur Mor- bleu. Airs, Thom, Then, sir, you will resolve me at once. My name is Thomson Alor, Four Tonsorib! ! i! — de world is at one end ! Mrs. Thorn, I come to claim my child — my Adolphine. AdoL Ah! my mother! {Embraces her.) TkoiH' Rusty- it must be — it is -my wife' Mrs. Thorn, My husband : my child I [embrace^; Pais. Found his wite ! then he wont want me to lock him up. Thorn, Ardourly — nephew — you have lost a fortune.- Ard, But I have gained a wife, sir, by this dis- covery, and I am happy. T. King. 1 see your hearts are all too full for method- let us in, and mutually explain tiiesf seeming mysteries : — Mr. Thompson has found a wife and daughter — they have found a husband and a father — Ardourly has fouad a bride — Mon- sieur Mor: leu, here, found out his persecutors — but will, I trust, wiih the kind permission of our friends, have ample cause to bid our Monsieur Tonson welcome, and gently whisper — Come again. f: library of CONGRESS n ^ e 014 525 935 6 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 014 525 935 6