635 I :3 2sro T=0LiJ±rz-& ^sscn^-ira-EiD- I II Bakers Novelties THE ADVERTISING GIRLS COPWUGHT, 1889, BY WALTEK H. BAKER & CO- ^^^•^•^•^•^•^■^•^•^■^••^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•T*-*5'-^'K I A. W. PINERO'S PLAYS. | ifiv Uniformly Bound in Stiff Paper Covers, Price, 50 cents each. dS ffj The publication of the plays of this popular author, made feasible by the new ff J iiV Copyright Act, under which his valuable stage rights can be fully protected, ifAV ^•3 enables us to offer to amateur actors a series of modern pieces of the highest f|J iiV class, all of which have met with distinguished success in the leading English iii *f ' and American theatres, and most of which are singularly well adapted for am a- "y ifAV teur performance. This publication was originally intended for the benefit of ifAV ft* readers only, but the increasing demand for the plays for acting purposes has fl* /AV far outrun their merely literary success. With the 'idea of placing this excel- ifli *f " lent series within the reach of the largest possible number of amateur clubs, we f|* iiV have obtained authority to offer them for acting purposes at an author's rov- ifiv W altyof f|> ^Ay Ten Dollars for Each Performance. iii ifAW This rate does not apply to professional performances, for which terms will be ifiC Cf* made known on application. wm\ % % ffj TWT7 A"M"A7/YI\TC I A Farcical Romance in Three Acts. By Arthur ffj /AV /VLVI AZ^INO* I w . p INEK0 . Seven male and five female char- jfli "r ' acters. Costumes, modern; scenery, an exterior f|* k|"$ and an interior, not at all difficult.. This admirable farce is too well known Kk'j Mr through its recent performance by the Lyceum Theatre Company, New York, to Mr i|*4 need description. It is especially recommended to young ladies' schools and k'|j Mr colleges. (1895.) Mr W THE CABINET MINISTER. J i.SKf^pSSo.^Sgi »ffi W k|°tf : ' and nine feniale characters. k*|j Mr Costumes, modern society ; scenery, three interiors. A very amusing piece, in- Mr k|*4 genious in construction, and brilliant in dialogue. (1892.) k 1 4 Mr DANDY" DTOC I A Farce in Three Acts. By Arthur W. Pinero. \f/ k|]* i>'"J.>i-'i J--M.*wi.v.* Seven male, four female characters. Costumes, mod- t|j Mr ern ; scenery, two interiors. This very amusing piece Mr Cm'a was another success in the New York and Boston theatres, and has been ex- k k'g Mr tensively played from manuscript by amateurs, for whom it is in every respect Mr |*| j suited. It provides an unusual number of capital character parts, is very funny, Ck'g Mr and an excellent acting piece. Plays two hours and a half. (1893.) ^*> ttj THF HORRV HORSF I A Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur eft Mr L ■"■ ■ rLKJDD * n\JF*JE» w , p ineko . Ten male, five female char- Mf |*|*| — ^ 1 acters. Scenery, two interiors and an ex- |*|*| Mr terior ; costumes, modern. This piece is best known in this country through the Mr |*|*| admirable performance of Mr. John Hare, who produced it in all the principal ^|*| Mr cities. Its story presents a clever satire of false philanthropy, and is full of yaf t*|> interest and humor. Well adapted for amateurs, by whom it has been success- ^|% Mr f ull Y acted. Plays two hours and a half. (1892.) Mr — T ATYV RnTTTOTTFTTT I A Play 2n Four Acts. By Arthur w. Mf ■»-'■*"-'* "JV/Wl^ i 11 UU PTTSTF-RO. Rifflitmsilftanrl Rflr'ftn ffimalfichar. w¥% A 1Y KC 11 IiM I IHi il A Jria, y 31 rour accs. oy abthib vv. ™ CI/ ^fLU * DUUi>) X JJUL * I Pinero. Eight male and seven female char- \|> Jflv J acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four Mf kli interiors, not easy. A play of powerful sympathetic interest, a little sombre in \l/ ;Y. ke > r > Dut not unrelieved by humorous touches. (1892.) ™s The Advertising Girls A Masque of Very Fly Leaves in Two Scenes Bv AMELIA SANFORD BOSTON WAITER H. BAKER & CO 56927. . T^t3^ The Advertising Girls CHARACTERS The Bicycle Girl, The Flare's Soap Girl, The Girl Who Did, The Frantic-American Soup [Girl. The Girl Who Didn't, The Washing-Powder Girl, The Violet Extract Girl, The Chief Rabbit ( Girl or [toy), The Patent-Dressing Girl, Mrs. Motherly. Procession of Twenty-Five Rabbits. (Boys or girls.) Time in representation — forty-five minutes. Copyright, 1900, by Walter H. Baker & Co. ABBREVIATIONS R. R., Right Rear; L. R., Left Rear; R. F, Right Front; L. F., Left Front; C, Centre; F. C, Front Centre; R. C, Rear Centre. TWO COPIES SECti L,braf 3 "«MgMM Offls* of *t,' Hegisfer of COSTUMES AND PROPERTIES The Bicycle Girl. — Bicycle and bicycle suit. - The Girl Who Did. — Very neat, rather plain street dress. Carries a horn, about four feet long, made of white pasteboard or buckram, on which is printed, "Use Flim-flam's Skirt-braid." The Girl Who Didn't. — Street costume — rather dressy ; very untidy, especially a skirt with torn and ragged edges, and a length of skirt braid trailing after. The Patent-Dressing Girl. — Ordinary dress. Bottle of blacking. Very pretty shoes. The Flare's Soap Girl. — House-dress or tea-gown. A piece of toilet soap. The Violet Extract Girl.— White dress and garden hat, trimmed with violets, and violets pinned about dress. Large bottle of cologne or extract, tied with violet ribbon. The Frantic- American Soup Girl. — Very short and slen- der girl, the younger the better. French cook's cap and apron, and carries tureen with a ladle in it on tray. This is a familiar advertising figure, and model can easily be found. The Washing-Powder Girl. — Servant's cap and apron and pan of water, box of washing-powder, and eight towels — brown crash and very large. Mrs. Motherly. — Gotten up to represent middle-aged house- keeper. Dark dress, large apron, bunch of keys, etc. The Chief Rabbit. — Same costume as Twenty-five Junior Rabbits. — Ordinary dress, so they are all uniform in color and style. Hood, fitting tightly, of white canton flannel or cambric. Ears made of the same material and wired, so as to stand upright. Hands covered with mittens of the same, to look like paws. Each one carries a broom. Each. broom is wound with a piece of white, on which is pasted a large black letter, so that in marching, letters spell : R-A-B-B-I-T-S' S-O-A-P W-O-N-T W-A-S-H C-L-O-TrH-E-S The Advertising Girls. SCENE I. SCENE. — Garden scene, if it can be arranged, or use plain background. At r., back, an exit, and over it a large sign : " Summer Home for Working Girls." AtL., back, another exit, concealed by a large clothes-horse, or a screen, opened out to represent an open book. This is to be covered with yellow cambric, dull side out, on one side of which is painted in large, black letters : " Hopper's New Magazine," and on the other side : "Established b. c. 9843." Stand this in such a way as to open away from the audience. It will thus conceal the entrance, and actors coming in from there will look as though they stepped out of a large book. At centre of stage, at back, is a good-sized table, with chair at each side. At r. and l. of stage, are. rustic chairs, potted plants, etc. Enter Bicycle Girl, \,.,from book, with wheel. Takes itR. ; throws herself down wearily in chair, r. f. Addresses au- dience. Bi. Free at last ! What a mercy it is to us poor girls in the advertising pages that the magazines are left in out-of-the- way places, where we may occasionally rest ! That's a back- number, which the Summer Girls left here when they went back to town. {Rising, walks about!) I am a wretched crea- ture, evolved from the brain of some needy artist to furnish an advertisement for bicycles. There are other girls in the back of that book (stops and looks at it) forever washing their hands with Somebody's Soap, brushing their hair and scrubbing floors. I wonder why they don't come out. I'm sure they're tired enough. (Goes back to book, pretends to turn pages.) Say, girls, the coast is clear ; come out ! Enter the Girl Who Did and the Girl Who Didn't. 6 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. Did (rushing forward}. Oh, you dear thing, it's so per- fectly fine to be able to speak and move at last ! (G. W. Didn't catches her foot in skirt-braid ; dances a sort of Jig; screams and falls flat.) Bi. What ails your sister ? Is she subject to these attacks ? Did (helping G. W. Didn't to a chair). Oh, you poor thing ! never mind. (Sits on arm of chair, consoling G. W. Didn't who cries.) You see (to Bi.) sister and I have to ap- pear in advertisements as the Girl Who Did and the Girl Who Didn't use Flim-flam's Patent Indestructible Dust-proof and Fire-proof skirt-braid, warranted one thousand miles to the yard. I am the Girl Who Did and she is the Girl Who Didn't. They always show off poor sis with a wretched skirt-braid forever tripping her up, while I stand in such a priggish atti- tude, like this. {Stands in burlesque attitude of admonition.) And I have this great long pipe coming out of my mouth ; and it says on it: "Why Didn't you use Flim-flam's Patent In- destruc " Bi. and Didn't (fingers in their ears). Oh, don't say it any more ! Bi. (walking c. f. with Did). Let's think of something to help your poor sister. Didn't. It isn't my bones that hurt, but my feelings. Did. I think that's the matter with all three of us. What we need is to have a real good time together, something to eat, and a little music. What do you think ? Bi. (holding out her hand). I think you're a real nice girl when you're on a vacation, however you may appear at other times. Did. Thank you so much ! I'll call some of the others. Come, dears, we want you ! Enter l. from book, Patent-Dressing Girl; goes r. f. Flare's Soap Girl; goes l. f. Violet Extract Girl; goes c. f. All put down their things. Attitudes of weari- ness. Bi. (coming forward). Ladies, I think we all know our- selves and each other ; but merely for the sake of explicitness, I'll run over your names. (To Patent-Dressing Girl.) You, dear, are the Shoe-Blacking Girl Patent Dressing (haughtily). I'm the young lady who represents Snoodles' Patent Dressing ! THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. "J {Girls look at each other, and whisper.') Did {putting arm around Bi.). I'll finish the list, dear, if you feel too much wilted. ^ Bi. I have a sort of pneumatic tired feeling. {Goes to chair near table, L. R.) Did. And this is the well-known lady who lives to praise Flare's Soap ; and our dear little friend with the Violet Ex- tract. {They all bow, courtesy, or shake hands.) Now, let's all be sociable. ( They settle about stage in easy attitudes, whispering and visiting together. Girl Who Didn't, coming c. f., may do a burlesque fancy dance, holding the torn skirt-braid off in one hand, and using the big horn like a Spanish fan. Music of skirt dance behind scenes, changing to "Honeymoon March," or other march, played softly as first. ) Didn't. Girls, I just long for a good time. I wish some- thing really odd and funny would happen. {March music, louder. ) Bi. {looking toward book, jumps up and claps hands). Some- thing will, this minute ! Look, girls ! (Girls run to c. Rabbits enter l. from book, march r., to r. f., across front, showing letters on brooms, where they march to time, sixteen counts ; up l./ halt ; lay down brooms at their left side ; right face ; join paws and bow to Girls. ) Bi. Oh, you dear little things ! Have you come to play with us ? Chief Rabbit. We don't object to occasional levity, but first we would like to ask you a few questions. May we all sit down ? Girls. Certainly ! {All sit down on floor, forming half circle facing audience ; Rabbits l. ; Girls r. ) Ch. R. Our questions are rather personal. You will not object ? Girls. Not at all. {To audience.) Aren't they too dear? Rabbits. Not at all. We're twenty- six Rabbits ! f Girls laugh ; Rabbits scrateh their right ears^) 8 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. Ch. R. (to Bi.). Who are you, please? Bi. My name is Bike. (Draws herself tip.) Descended H from the Bikings, you know ! Ch. R. No, you're not. Bi. (frigidly). May I ask why not? Ch. R. May /ask how fast your wheel turns around? Bi. I shall have to figure it out. (Burlesque attitude of deep thought, which is imitated by other Girls. Rabbits fold their arms stiffly and look at audience. Perfect silence for two or three seconds.} Bi. It makes, in one minute, six thousand nine hundred and twenty-four and seventy-one three hundred sixty-fourths— ah — revolutions. Ch. R. Then you're a Daughter of the Revolution, aren't you? Bi. {rising with great emotion). This honor is as over- whelming as it is unexpected ; but I will try not to be unduly exalted. (Walks back and forth, burlesque air of dignity. Other girls rise and stand bowed as in the " Mikado .") Song — Air : " Mikado " — " The Lord High Executioner." Girls. Defer! Defer! For we ain't half so good as her. Defer ! Defer ! For we ain't half so good as her — Not half so good as her ! Ch. R. Don't keep that up any longer, ladies. (Girls stand erect, looking down at him.) Miss Bike has a rival. Violet (coming forward ; arms around Bi.). Not in me, at any rate. Ch. R. You are the very one. Bi. We both have claims on your veneration ? Ch. R. Precisely. Let me explain. Miss Violet, in what department do you advertise? Violet. Colognes. Ch. R. Then I am right in assuming that you are a Cologne-ial Dame? {Counter-marching, Bi. and Violet, Girls, as before, sing.) THE ADVERTISING GIRLS, 9 Girls. Defer ! Defer ! 'Tis strange that such things do occur ! Defer ! Defer ! 'Tis strange that such things do occur, But still they do occur ! Bi. Friends, let's have a Virginia Reel, and then we must consider what is to become of us, before any human people come in to disturb us. {All but Patent-Dressing Girl pair off, each with a Rabbit, down the centre ; the rest of the Rabbits carry their brooms to R. R., where they stand looking on. Pat. sits down at table in attitude of deep thought.') Come on, Pat. ! Pat. No ; I wish to devote a few moments to meditation and other exercises. ( Virginia Reel. M^hen it is about half over, Pat. goes out r. r., comes back presently and stands near r. r., with arms full of kindlings, sticks of wood, etc. Toward the end of the dance, the Rabbits at r., run to a, and holding up their brooms, make a double line, with brooms raised, under which all march, and scatter about stage afterward?) All. Why, Pat., what are you doing? Didn't. She's had the meditation, I suppose these are the exercises. Pat. {loads one or two Rabbits with wood, and sends them r. r. comi?ig down a). I have a plan for our emancipation, at least for a time, from this eternal round of advertising, and I believe we can get a lovely long rest. We could have this place to ourselves all the year around, if we could only scare people away, and I believe I know how to do it. All. How ? Pat. By tearing down that sign and putting up another : "Society for the Propagation of Microbes." You know, if there's anything people fear especially, it's a microbe, and they will all keep away when they read the sign. And why not make a bonfire of all the things which have wearied us so long ? Also, we can add the old magazine, to make a good blaze ? Then our emancipation will be complete. All. Oh, how glorious ! We'll carry them out in the yard Bi. What about my wheel ? Pat. Oh, save that. Have one of those baby-jumpers put on in front, you know ; then you can take us with you for nice long rides. 10 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS, Bi. But wouldn't that be rather warm for me? Pat. Oh, but think of the benefit to your health ! Ch, R. It sounds like a fine large opportunity. Bi. True. I will keep the wheel. Pat. Before we blow up the magazine, you may pile on all the other things. {Sitting down lazily, .) You do the work, and I'll make the remarks. Bi. Better help, dear. Think of the benefit to your health. Pat. But I am more concerned about other people's health. I always was that way. Ch. R. I wish to make one exception to the program. You know, a thing, in order to burn, must be dry. And I've heard people say, that there wasn't a dry article in our maga- zine, from beginning to end. Pat. If a thing ought to be dry, and turns out to be other- wise, what will it do when you put it on the fire ? Ch. R. It smokes. Pat {loftily). That settles it. 1 do not approve of smoking in the presence of ladies. {Other Girls and Rabbits, picking up things, gather c.) Pat. {coming f.). Let us sing in honor of our new-found liberty. {Four in line. Stand, singing first verse and refrain. During second verse, march around stage. During re- frain, exit r. R., single file. N. B. — Place the best singers last.) Song. — Air : "Shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom." All. Raise the song of liberty, our toils are at an end ! Here's the advertising girl whom no one will befriend; Every worm will turn at last, and hardest luck will mend : — Now we are on a vacation. {Refrain.) Hurrah, hurrah ! she is the girl for me ; Hurrah, hurrah ! at last she now is free ; So we'll find out for ourselves just how it feels to be On a protracted vacation ! All. How the Tenth Readers all will wonder what's been done ! How the monthly magazines will suffer for our fun ! All the most important reading matter will be gone On a protracted vacation. THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. II {Refrain.) Hurrah, hurrah ! etc. [Exit R. R. {Short pause.') Mrs. Motherly enters r. r.; comes f., takes chair. Mrs. M. I'd like to know who's been here, sitting in my chairs {walks around, looks at chairs') and tramping around. {Stoops down and examines floor. Jumps to her feet, runs to look out r. R. and returns c.) I smell smoke ! Oh, I wish the girls were here ! I was so glad when they all went back to the city; I thought I would rest and take things easy, but, — land ! {Runs off r. r.; comes back with a large lunch-bell ; excitedly.) I saw them ! They're burning up my front yard ! {Rings and screams.) Help ! Murder ! Fire ! Thieves \ (Girls come running in.) Bi. Don't be alarmed, madam; and please don't make such a noise. Mrs. M. Who are you ? Bi. We came out of that magazine. Don't you recognize us? Mrs. M. Why yes ; you do look rather natural — but I can't recall your names. Bi. Why, we are the girls from the advertising pages. I am the one who rides a bicycle. The others represent soap, shoe-dressing, skirt-braids, and cologne. We did not mean to alarm you ; we thought the house must be unoccupied, and we came out to hold a meeting, rest and consult about our pros- pects . {All seated. ) Mrs. M. Well, on the whole, I'm glad to see you. It's been lonely here since the girls went back to work. Now, what were you proposing to do ? Pat. Oh, perhaps you could give us some advice. Our first thought was to escape from that dreadful magazine, and to burn our implements. Mrs. M. That's why you built the fire? Pat. Yes, madam, it is nearly out now, and some — ah — friends of ours are going to stay out there till it's done. But we want to be useful, and make a home for ourselves, if possible. Mrs. M. Well, how would you like to work with me for awhile ? I have to clean house, anyway, and if I had such a 12 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS, number of nice smart young ladies with me, I could keep a hotel right through the winter. Girls. Oh, lovely ! Let us begin at once ! Rabbits (running in). Lovely what? Begin what? Mrs. M. (hurrying l. f.). Oh, where did all those cats come from ? Ch. R. Cats ! Madam, we are rabbits, if you please ! Mrs. M. Oh — are you those Welsh Rabbits I've heard the girls talk about? They were always saying: " Oh, Mrs. Motherly, do have a Welsh Rabbit ! " Ch. R. Not that kind at all. I don't like to cast aspersions on my kindred, but I'm sorry to admit that the very best ©f Welsh Rabbits take a great deal of beer. Mrs. M, Dear me ! how's that? Ch. R. It simply means, that if you want a Welsh Rabbit, you must certainly get in your beer. Mrs. M. (indignantly). I must, must I ? You are a very saucy young person, and you and yours may go at once ! Con- signing me to an untimely bier, merely because I express a wish. I shan't get in my bier till some one else puts me there, and that won't be till I'm dead. So go along ! (Rabbits scratch their right ears, form in line, R., and march back into book.) Mrs. M. Now, girls, I can't stay here any longer, for I've lots to do. Would you like to begin at once ? Girls. Oh, yes ! Mrs. M. Very well ; this way, if you please. [Exeunt. CURTAIN. SCENE II. SCENE. — A kitchen. Clothesline in rear. Tables, chairs, etc. Girl Who Didn't, rubbing chairs. Girl Who Did, sitting, R. f., with vegetables in wooden chopping bowl and knife, wiping her eyes. Violet draping dinner -napkins on line, R., makes absurd " cesthetic" arrangements, drapes them, ties them in bow-knots, etc. Didn't. Sister, what does make you so sad ? Did. I can't tell you, dear, but I've wept ever since I began to work. Is this what human beings call "grief" ? I don't like it. ( Wiping her eyes. ) It is so moist. Violet {finishing napkins, comes down c. to v.). But what are you doing ? Did. These articles are called Onions, and Mrs. Motherly asked me to peel them ; she wants them for dinner. Violet {going to chair, l. f.). Well, my work is done. Bi. {rushing in). Girls, she told me to set the table ! Didn't. I'll help you. {They lift the table to c, and set it down. Bi. runs out, calling.) Bi. I set it ! In the middle of the floor ! ( Coming back.} She says, to put the dishes on it ! {All girls run out, come back with all kinds of baking- dishes sauce-pans, coffee-pots — anything unreasonable — and ar- range them in a pyramid. ) Girls. Isn't that nice ! {Enter Pat., l. r., with lawn mower?) Mercy, Pat., what is that noisy thing? Pat. Mrs. Motherly showed me a thing she called a carpet-sweeper, when I first went in the dining-room ; and just now she told me to get it and sweep this floor. I lost my way and got out in the yard ; but here it was, the first thing I saw ! {Runs mower back and forth.} Enter Flare's Soap Girl, l. r., with a pitcher and a horse- whip. Flare. Girls, I don't want to hurt any one, so please keep out of my way. !3 14 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. Girls. What are you going to do ? Flare. Mrs. Motherly told me to whip a pitcher of cream, which I was to find in the pantry. I found the cream, but I had to go away out in the barn to find a whip. {Flourishes whip ; hits pitcher, which falls over ; keeps on whipping at it, ,) Girls {scream). Oh, don't ! You're spilling it ! Flare (with dignity'). Ladies, I do not see the use of this, but I am doing exactly as I was told, and I cannot be held re- sponsible for the consequences. Didn't. Well, \ do not like housekeeping. I think it is both noisy and violent. Mrs. Motherly (with a cloth in her hand running in). Stop, stop ! Mercy sakes, are you crazy ? Flare. You asked me to whip this pitcher of cream. Mrs. M. (looks at her and then picks up pitcher, and wipes the floor). Well, I guess you've whipped it enough. (To Pat.) And what are you doing? Pat. I'm sweeping. Mrs. M. You needn't, any more, not that way. (Pat. takes out latvn mower and co?nes back.) When I want to clean floors, I don't generally take the lawn mower, it isn't custo- mary. (To Bi.) Did you set the table? Bi., Violet, Didn't and Did. Oh, yes, and we all helped ! Isn't it lovely? Mrs. M. Why, yes, it's lovely — it's beautiful — but I guess I'll have to show you how I do it. {Business of straightening table ; Girls run in and out. Mrs. M. finishes table and looks at clothes line.) Who did this? Violet. I arranged that. The dinner napkins, you know, that you asked me to put on the line. Did you ever see a clothes line arranged thus? Mrs. M. No, I never did. (Aside.) And I never want to again ! (To Girls.) Now, ladies, I'm going out to make some soup, and if you're ready (to G. W. Did) we'll put in those onions Did. But there are no onions. Mrs. M. Why not ? Did. Why, I peeled them, and the skin kept coming off, and coming off; and when I got the skins all off, not one of them had anything inside ! Mrs. M. Well, I guess I can use the skin. Some folks do. (Exit r. r., coming immediately back.) Have any of you seen my soup stock ? It was in a bowl on the kitchen table. THE ADVERTISING GIRLS, 15 Didn't. I thought that was varnish, and I rubbed the chairs with it. (Girls sitting on chairs, jump up, and examine their skirts and sleeves.') I wondered what was the use of do- ing that. Mrs. M. (wearily). Well, ladies, I believe if you'll stop helping me for awhile, I'd like to work. I'm getting rather tired ! I really don't know what we are to eat. You've spread the soup on my chairs, and beaten the cream with a horsewhip ; and I'm too exhausted to even weep over the remains of the onions. Can any one make a suggestion ? Flare. Now, if that Frantic child were here, we could have some soup. Mrs. M. What frantic child ? Flare. I mean, the child in the advertisement of Frantic- American Soup Co. I'll go out and see if she's in the pages of the book we just left. {Goes out. Girls and Mrs. M., clean chairs, and sit around stage. Flare and Frantic return, Frantic carrying tureen.) Frantic. Ladies and my good madam {bowing to each), I have the pleasure of presenting this soup to you • and the pleasure is great, for I'm very tired of it. Naturally I do not care for any, so shall I sing to you as you eat it? All. Oh, how kind ! Thank you ! (Girls get soup from tureen which has been placed on table, and group around stage, eating and watching Frantic, who comes down c. to f. Song. — Air: "I've Got 'em on the List. 11 —Mikado. Frantic (sings). I am an advertising girl of transatlantic note, And known to all this group, And known to all this group. An enterprising company has set the scheme afloat Of making famous soup, Of making famous soup. They have put me in the magazines with cap and apron white, Where I advertise this tiresome soup from morning until night. I have to smile and look as though I thought it was the chief Of all the good things known to man, and nice beyond belief; And upon the page above my head are dainties in a group : — You'll find them in the soup — Oh, you'll find them in the soup ! 1 6 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. {Chorus.) Girls and Mrs. W. (sing). We've found them in the soup, Oh, we've found them in the soup; In the highly-flavored mixture known as soupey — soupey — soup ! Frantic (sings). There are imitation turtle, and all vegetables, too :— With all the fowls that troop, With all the fowls that troop. There are consomme and noodles, any kind that pleases you, You'll find them in the soup, You'll find them in the soup. We can give you vermicelli, and we'd like to have you know That we can a dozen gallons every hundred years or so ; You can take it to the picnic ; you can drink it hot at noon ; You can drink it from a dainty cup, or sip it from a spoon. Oh, I wish that you would eat and drink it all at one full swoop ; — For I'm very tired of soup, Oh, I'm very tired of soup ! (Chorus.) You're very tired of soup, But we're very fond of soup, Of the highly-flavored mixture known as soupey — soupey— -soup ! Mrs. M. I've been thinking, young ladies, and I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I've expected too much of you for young housekeepers. For you certainly cannot, some of you, have much experience. (To Flare.) What did you do for a living before you came here ? Flare. Oh, I held up a cake of soap, and smiled at it. Mrs. M. Well, smiling at it and washing dishes with it, are very different occupations. Do you know of any nice sensible young woman, who would come here and give you girls a lesson in dish-washing, while I go out to buy something for supper ? Bi. There was a girl on the opposite page to me, who had some kind of powder in a box, and she washed glass and china most beautifully. I'll go get her. (Runs out.) (Returns l. r., with Washing-powder Girl.) Mrs. M. (joyfully). Well, now, you look promising ! Can I leave you with these dishes, and will you please see that my young friends learn how to do them ? W. P. Yes'm. (Goes to table, arranges her pan, and piles up towels. Girls gather around Mrs. M.) THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. 1 7 Bi. Dear Mrs. Motherly, we do appreciate your kindness, and will do the best we can. Mrs. M. That's right — I'm sure, when you've forgotten some of your novel methods, you'll do nicely. Flare {picking up dish-towel'). What's this? W. P. That's a dish-towel. Girls. What do you do with it ? W. P. {acting it out). You take a cup — so — and put it in the pan, and then you take a dish-towel and polish it. Girls. Oh what fun — let's all do it ! Mrs. M. Good-bye, then. {Starts to r. r.) Girls. Good-bye! {Exit Mrs. M., r. r. Bi. Now, we will do this with a hearty good will. I have a definite object, which I will explain when our work is done. {Each girl in turn goes to table, takes a cup ; they stand in row in front of table facing audience, and wipe cups, as they sing first verse. Singing chorus, they two-step to front, waving towels above their heads, Singing second verse, stand in a row, front, and polish cups as before. Sinking chorus, second time, two-step back to table, and pile up cups upon it.) Song. — Air : " Hurrah for the Bonny Blue Flag." All {sing). Oh you must take your dishes up and put them in the pan; And then you take some patent stuff to wash them spick and span. Though you may like that part the best, the greatest fun to me Is, just to take a jolly brown rag, and rub them thoroughly. {Chorus and two-step.) Hurrah ! Hurrah ! Hurrah for the jolly brown rag ! Hurrah, for the jolly brown rag leaves not a single spot ! There's joy in doing most things, if they're done the proper way ; Some pleasant occupation waits for every hour of day ; But after dinner comes the time that I like best, myself: — To clean things with a jolly brown rag, and put them on the shelf. ( Chorus and two step.) Hurrah ! Hurrah ! etc. (Girls come f. c, Bi. in middle.) J 8 THE ADVERTISING GIRLS. Pat. And now, what is your object in doing this work ? Bi. Dears, I'm going to learn everything about housekeep- ing, and you must help me. And then — I'm going to marry the Billy's Shaving Soap man, and you shall come to live with us forever. All. And that will complete the Emancipation of the Ad- vertising Girl. CURTAIN. Recitations for School, HOME, EXHIBITION OR PUBLIC ENTERTAINMENT. Baker's Handy Speaker, Baker's Premium Speaker, Baker's Popular Speaker, Baker's Favorite Speaker. We offer these volumes, each containing 200 carefully selected and popular recitations, handsomely bound in cloth, at 40 Cents per Volume, Postpaid, by Mail. Each volume contains an admirable assortment of pieces, in prose and verse, humorous, pathetic, dramatic and declamatory, and provides a valuable work of reference for such material. " Where shall I find a good piece to speak ? " is a question that frequently recurs to the mind of the young student, and with these volumes at hand the perplexed teacher could save much time and labor. A considerable preponderance of forensic and judicial material in the contents of these volumes makes them specially suited for schools, but their selection of humorous pieces is particularly strong and of a high class. The Prize Speaker and The Humorous Speaker of this series are entirely out of print and cannot be supplied, Sent, postpaid, on receipt of price, by BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASS. TWO NEW PLAYS FOR LADIES. BREEZY POINT. A Comedy in Three Acts, for Female Characters only. By BELLE HARSHALL LOCKE. Thirteen female characters. Scenery easy, costumes modern. A val- uable addition to the very small list of plays of this character, long enough to provide a full evening's entertainment. The parts are good and well diversified — Aunt Debby, Clem, the gypsy, Fantine.the French maid, and Ashrael, a typical Yankee girl, being "stars." A worthy successor to "Rebecca's Triumph," the interest being equally strong, and the humor- ous incident even more abundant. Price 25 Cents. SYNOPSIS: ACT I. — "At Breezy Point." Ready for visitors. "A mixed bokay." A mystery of eighteen years. A feminine invasion. The love-sick butcher. The French maid. Language lessons. A secret. Fast friends. A bunch of roses. Aunt Debby. Patent medicine. The gypsy. Telling fortunes. "You're better off not to hear it— better off." The clue. ACT II.— In camp. "Washing dishes. French diplomacy. The hay ride. The Hardscratch twins. A snap-shot. "Won't it go off?" Pop-corn and unpopped questions. A quaint visitor. "Samanthy's little weakness." Catarrh snuff. The elder's courtship. Black Donald's ghost. The gypsy again. A peep into the past. Girls fishing. Fantine's elopement. The letter. Ashrael's discovery. "That French fiend has stolen my beau! " A chance to rise. "Nofoolin'." Following the clue. ACT III.— Breezy Point again. Making cake. The twins again. Ston- ing raisins. An interlude. "Bridget Ann Burke, never speak to me no more." An interruption. The best way. The elder's proposal. Mehitible's photograph. A "symbolical" picture. Aunt Debby's return. Ashrael's revenge. Good news. "Yes, Elinor, your father awaits his child." The mystery solved. The prince in the fairy-tale. The clue eun to earth. A Chinese Dummy. A Farce in One Act, for Female Characters only. By MARIAN D. CAMPBELL. Author of "An Open Secret." Specially written for performance at Radcliffe College, Cambridge. Six female characters. Scenery, an easy interior ; costumes modern and bicycle. This very successful little piece has the slenderest of plots, but offers a very unusual variety and strength in its character drawing. Its dialogue and incidental humor are exceptionally good, and it was very successful in performance. Plays thirty to forty minutes. Price 15 Cents. Sent) postpaid, on receipt of price , by BAEEB, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASa LATEST PLAY5. The Old Maids' Convention. AN ENTERTAINMENT IN ONE SCENE. By LAURA M. PARSONS. Author of " Jerusha Dow's Family Album," " Thb District School at Blueberry Corners," Etc. One male, twenty female characters and specialties. Costumes eccen- tric; scenery unimportant; can be produced on a platform without any. This is an excellent version of a widely popular entertainment which has long existed in manuscript, but is now for the first time offered in print. It is practically for all female characters, since Prof. Pinkerton, its one man, may be represented by a lady, if desired. "Pinkerton's Electric Transform(h)er " is a marvelous invention, whatever the sex of its dis- coverer, and is capable of creating great amusement. This entertainment, of which it is a feature, is brightly and humorously written, and moves along briskly to a laughable conclusion. Lots of good characters and opportunity for specialties. A worthy successor to the popular " Prof. Baxter's Great Invention." Plays an hour and a half with specialties. Price, .... 25 Cents. SYNOPSIS. Scene.— The Old Maids' Matrimonial Club. The Club in executive session. Quotations. An unpopular sentiment. The Secretary's report. The report of the Treasurer. " Candy kisses." The Lookout Committee. " Widower Goodhope." A bachelor by the name of Rigby. " I don't care if he hasn't a dollar." A few suggestions toward the propagation of matrimony. The club in debate. A literary interlude. Prof. Pinkerton's advent. A scientific exposition. Testimonials. " Before using your Transform(h)er I was totally blind, and now I can see my finish." The great invention at work. " Blonde or brunette ? " Old maids made new. A. great success. A difficult case. Somewhat overdone. " The machine can make no mistake." A hard problem. " I want to be a man." The Pro- fessor phazed but not daunted. " Drink the stuff and pile in." An explosion — of laughter* POPPING BY PROXY. A FARCE IN ONE ACT. By O. E. YOUNG. Two male, four female characters. Scenery easy, costumes rustic. This is a very amusing, if somewhat athletic farce, suitable for the young and robust, and likely to be popular among people who rejoice in practical {"oking and high animal spirit's. It is distinctly not a drawing-room play, >ut is full of good, broad, boisterous fun, and tells a very entertaining story. Plays forty-five minutes. Price, .... 15 Cents. Sent, postpaid, on receipt of price, by BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLAGE, BOSTON, MASS, A NEW CANTATA FOR CHILDREN- A DREAM of the FLOWERS Consisting of Songs, Choruses, Recitations, Dialogues, Etc. By NELLIE E. CASE. For fourteen little girls, one little boy and chorus. Costumes fanciful but easily gotten up. No scenery needed, though it can be employed to advantage. This cantata primarily celebrates May Day, introducing a May-pole Dance,* but it is good and not unsuitable for performance at any season. It is published complete with music, pretty and very easy. This piece is the work of an experienced teacher, familiar with the needs and limitations of children, and is offered with confidence. Price ....... 85 Cents. A NEW EDITION. BALLADS IN BLACK. A Series of Readings to be Produced as Shadow Pantomimes. With full directions for representation. Illustrated with fifty full- page drawings in silhouette, by J. F. Goodrich. CONTENTS: In Pawn. A Shadow Pantomime in Four Acts and a Prologue; eight illustrations. Drink. A Temperance Shadow Pantomime; eight illustrations. Orpheus, the Organ-grinder. A Musical Shadow Pantomime; six illustrations. Anonymous. A Nameless Narrative; six illustration*. Drigos and his Double. A Pantomime Paradox; eight illustration*. Cinderella. A new version of an old story; eight illustrations. Price, paper covers . . . 50 Cents. We have a United number of these pantomimes, published separately, which we can furnish at 15 cents per copy until the edition is exhausted. €lNDE|U3LLAr " }$ $00 £fM»| fT^ & ?4 PS'M^ PP *?P]?lif$ $?*^% UpHP" % cs»j?fc boo£. - NEW PLAYS. « DOWN EAST * A Comedy-Drama in Four Acts. By JUSTIN ADAMS. Author of "T'riss," "At the Picket Line," Etc. Seven male, three female characters. Costumes rustic ; scenery varied, but not difficult. An excellent piece, full of action and interest, of the general character of " Joshua Whitcomb " and " Old Jed Prouty." Plenty of " hay-seed " comedy character, and plays briskly and to plenty of laughter. Has been successful in repertoire for several seasons, and for two years with amateurs as a manuscript play. Now free to amateurs of all royalties. Plays a full evening. Price 25 Cents. SYNOPSIS: ACT I.— The country post-office. Swapstown gossip. After the mail. Zeke's mare. A bicycle accident. A dog-muzzle for Deacon Perkins. " Do you want your whiskers to go inside or hang through?" Myra's lover. "A peck o' flour." Charley's uncle. A fortune in sight. The un- sealed letter. The grocery bill. "There's trickery here!" ACT II.— The old homestead. Hard wood. "A nice piece ob water- million." A game for $50,000 stakes. The stolen letter. "Some one knows my secret." A languid lover. The naked truth. A human snake. The straight tip. A golden legacy. Turning the tables. The new will. •'Possession is nine points of the law." ACT III.— The ruined mill. Hiding the treasure. An interview. Turning the screws. The biter bit. Third hand high. The steel trap. A true heroine. "Wash" and the ghost. "Of two evils choose neither." Guilty or not guilty. The trial. A neat turn. "I've caught the thieving rat, and there he is." ACT I V.— The Palmer House, Chicago. A secret mission. A fly waiter. "I could change it if it was a six-dollar bill." The ball rolling. The de- serted wife. The mask off. A champion to the rescue. "Don't shoot — my hands are up." Zeke and the "elephant " The coochee-coochee girls. The divorce. The Ferris wheel. Charley pays his " Bets." "A rich man now." Into the trap. The arrest. "No, Bets, for a lifetime, as they do "Down East." Sauce for the Goose. 'A Farce in One Act. By MARGARET VERE F. LIVINGSTON. Three male, one female character. A high-class farce full of refined fun, turning upon "hypnotism." Plays briskly in about twenty minutes. Particularly suitable for parlor performance. Sen/, postpaid, on receipt of prite, by &AP5B, 5 H4TOTON P^ACB, BOSTON, W4S& NEW PLAYS, POVERTY FLATS. A Play of Western Life in Three Acts. By BERNARD FRANCIS MOORE. Author ol "The Rough Rider," "The Wrecker's Daughter," Etc. Nine male, two female characters. Scenery easy; costumes rough fron- tier and modern. A very easy and effective " border " drama, suitable for younger amateurs, as it has plenty of strongly marked characters, and lots of action. Not a soubrette play of the usual " Western " type. Irish and Chinese low comedy, and Irishwoman — very strong. Leading and "heavy" parts very effective. Strongly recommended to the class for whom it was written. Plays an hour and three quarters. Price 15 Cents. SYNOPSIS: ACT I.— "The Rising Sun." Evening. The secret of the mine. The sheriff's daughter. The broken knife. Jim's story. A frontier romance. Dan and the judge. A Chinaman in love. The " Ilish Queen." A game of cards. Four aces. " Over the liver, Duffy." A bad man. Rat soup. The murder. The accusation. The sheriff of " Poverty Flats." ACT II.— The jail. Morning. An Irish deputy. A terrible night. The interview. A base revenge. The mystery of the knife. A wife for a life. "I refuse." The lynching party. An Irish episode. "In the name of the law." The judge holds court. Circumstantial evidence. The Chinese witness. The murderer found. " The word of a heathen." The proof. On the other foot. "Prisoner, you are discharged." ACT III.— "The Rising Sun." Night. The hold up. A determined man. The escaped prisoner. The pursuit. China vs. Ireland. "Ilishman him big bluff." The story of " Poverty Flats." The Union mine. Hank's diplomacy. Biddy and the judge. Thrown out of court. The outlaw. At bay. Win Lung to the rescue. The death of Randall. The queen of the camp. " An' I'll be bestee man." The Baby. A Comedietta in One Act. By HARRY O. OSGOOD. Three male, two female characters. Scenery, an easy interior; cos- tumes modern. A very bright and amusing little comedy of the more re- fined sort. The absent-minded Professor and his "Henglish" servant are very effective, and " The Baby " literally out of sight'. Plays half an hour. Price ...... 15 Cents. Sent, postpaid, on receipt of prue, by BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, WASS, /ft $ /ft /ft ♦ /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft /ft f \l/ SI/ * Si/ SI/ ¥ Si/ SI/ Si/ SI/ si/ SI/ 1 SI/ THE MAGISTRATE. I f Farce in Three Aets - B y Arthur w. nxb ivx-n-VJio i JV^x 1 i^* I i» inkko . Twelve male,: four female char- acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interior. The merits of this excellent and amusing piece, one of the most popu- lar of its author's plays, are well attested hy long and repeated runs in the principal American theatres. It is of the highest class of dramatic writing, and is uproariously tunny, and at the same time unexceptionable in tone. Its entire suitability for amateur performance has been shown by hundreds of such pro- ductions from manuscript during the past three years. Plays two hours and a half. (1892.) THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH* A Drama in Four Acts. By Arthur W. PlNERO. Eight male and five female charac- ters; scenery, all interiors. This is a " prob- lem " play continuing the series to which " The Profligate " and"The.Second ]\I rs. Tanqueray" 1 while strongly dramatic, and intensely interesting is not suited for jrformance. It is recommended for Reading Clubs. (1895.) THE PROFLIGATE. I cost nines, modern-. This is a piece of movement, and tragic in its even* - tear performance. (,189'J.) THE SCP^A711STRES S * A Play in Four Acts. By Arthur "W. Pine- ro. Seven male and'five female characters. Scenery, three int -, rather elaborate; rion- •- ^>-e -Miiy c i, aina tic in TfVy^d for ama- ^FavceinThree^ a , e ;,evc. W ^rScte^s Costume^ ed.. P* t season £ rfden . ornery, three interiors, easn.v ' Was played by Miss Rosina Vokes during __. _ ' ;, success! Its plot is amusing, its action rapid andTuSiv lie brilliant, and' its scheme of character especially rich in" ^ tvpes. The Hon. Vere Queckett and Peggy are especially n all respects suitable for amateurs. (1894.) THE SECOND MRS* TANQUERAY, of «>! A Play in Four Acts. By Arthur "W. Pinero. Eight male and five female char- acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. This well-known and powerful play is not well suited for amateur pf formance Tt is offered to Mr. Pinero's admirers among the reading public in answer to' the demand which its wide discussion as an acted P>y has created. /tgo4 ^ Also in Cloth, $1.00. SWEET LAVENDER. I ^ZliV n ^l.rn^JLuT e Zi . — ' characters. Scene, a single interior, the same for all three acts ; costumes, modern and fashionable. This well known and popular piece is admirably suited to amateur players, by whom it has been often given during the last few years. Its story is strongly sympathetic, and its comedy interest abundant and strong. (1893.) A Comedy in Four Acts. By Arthur W. Ptkero. Six male and seven female characters. Scene, a single ele- gant interior ; costumes, modern and fashionahle. An entertaining piece, of strong dramatic interest and admirable satirical humor. (1892.) A Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthttr W. Pinero. Eight male and eight female ' characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors, not difficult. This very amusing comedy was a popular feature of the repertoire of Mr. and Mrs. Kendal in this country. It presents a plot or strong dramatic interest, and its incidental satire of " Woman s Rights em- ploys some admirably humorous characters, and inspires many very clever Jines. Its leading characters are unusually even in strength and prominence, wincn THE TIMES, j THE WEAKER SEX. Its leading characters are unusually e makes it a very satisfactory piece for amateurs. SI/ w si/ si/ * s^ sr/ si/ si/ si/ * I A as » ■*» -^ -*» -m "^ -^" "^- "^. -^ -IT- -^ -j^ -^ -^ ~4^- '4^- ', NEW OPERETTAS FOR CHILDREN. m fEDITH'S DREAM. $ Sn ©peretta far Cjjttoren. •*"' oellent mt . «ti. ^ Price i f (IQD OPERASSEVENTlDh.* A Collection of Short and Simple Musical Entertainments for Children. By MRS. G. N. BORDMAN. This collection provides a simple f^*^g%£g^W^ song, a quaint musical paiiommi a pretty ^» s ^ u th 1UB { C an d fuit instrucr humorous recitations for children^ specialty \>m-«<^« .•i« - .__ -ire easily learned \i# with tne tastes aim n»»i.*«— - "-;;;;'5 1 i e " ToVvoices in unison. The collection .1. Indsung, and ^^ej^^aw^tten ^vmces^ pract i ca bUity.„mither ^ KasSSrSTI all the choruses ^^ *- vo^ p - Ability. icitv and periect mat;nvauu.i-j. -■ is strongly refeommenaeu iur i« ' """^^J? requirements that cannot be met «Mcrf nor scenery is demanded, noi any otuci *^h t „ „*,„,.„>, v«st.rv. and the witlout trouble by the/equipment oi ri Neither VM »v other requirements umi iwi»«v "^"VT" Price 50 cents. CONTENTS. A Glimpse of the Brownies. A A MusTc?l Sketch for Children. Any number of boys. Market Bay. An Operetta for Young People Seven speaking parts and chorus. Oneen Flora's Bay Bream. An ) QU OyJreUa for Children. Six speak- ing parts and chorus. boys and girls. Six tittle Grandmas. A Musical Pantomime for very Little Children. Six very little girls. Jimmy Crow. A Kecitation for a Little Girl. A House i t W tion for i LIBRARY OF CONGRESS *€€€€€€€€