^ Q-^^ IN TWO ACTS. BY Jlamed c^^'. O^Qh^^iilcvn. PUBLISHED BY JAMES M. O'SULLIVAN, Brooklyn, L. I., N. Y., 1887. V Mk "^M iK<' ^ €QMEmW» BY fame4 ^/^ Gf'c/ee/u^an, PUBLISHED BY JAS. M. O'SULLIVAN. Brooklyn, L. I. N. Y. 1887. „ SEP 12 1887 U / Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1882, by James M. O'Sullivan, in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. TMP96-006599 CHARACTERS. PATRICK O'SHAY, A Son of Emerald Isle. Mr. GEORGE GLEASON,,. I Editor of Evening MISS CLANCY, A Young American Lady. MR. ALDERMAN CLANCY, Her Father. MISS BRIDGET EINNIGAN^.Ir^^/^ Servant Girl MR. BARNES, A Lawyer. MR. SMITH, A Lawyer. MISS SUMNER. 1 MISS SMITH, i Ladies who call in answer to MISS GRAY, I Matrimonial Advertisement. MISS EAY, ■ J TWO BRIDESMAIDS, And TWO LADIES. Citizens and News Boys, &c. COSTUMES Patrick O'Shay's First Dress — Knee Breeches and Frieze Coat. Patrick's Second Dress — Like an American Citizen. Mr. George Gleason — Like an American Editor. Miss Clancy — Like an American Young Lady. Miss Bridget Finnigan — Like a Neat Irish- American Servant Girl. Miss Sumner, Miss Smith, Miss Gray, [- Like American Ladies of Miss Fay, Fashion. And two Ladies, Mr. Alderman Clancy — Like a New York Alderman. Mr. Barnes, \ Like American Lawyers, with Mr. Smith, f High Hats. Miss Clancy, as Bride — White Silk Dress, and White Lace and White Veil. Miss Finnigan — Green Silk, and White Lace and Veil. Bridesmaids — White Dress. ^looking for a ^Wife. ACT I. SCENE I. — Front hasement of Alderman Clancifs house. Carpet down, furniture modern. Enter Miss Clancy from left. [Looks around for something.] A bell I'ings. Miss Clancy opens side door on left. Enter Patrick O'Shay. [Takes of his hat.] Miss Clancy. Who do you wish to see ? Patrick O'Shay. I wish to see a little girl of the Finnigans. Miss Clancy. Do you mean Bridget Finnigan ? Patrick (JSJiay. Yes, it is her I wish to see. Will you be pleased to tell her that a boy after landing, named Patrick O'Shay, wishes to see her. Miss Clancy. She is up stairs. Please to take a seat and I will go up stairs and send her dow^n to you. [Patrick O'Shay sits down. Miss Clancy exits by door on left.] After aferv moments , Enter Miss Bridget Finnigan, exclaiming, Is that you Pat ? Patrick O'Shay. [Rising.] It is, alana ; it is your own darling Pat. [Embraces and kisses her.] Bridget. How are all the folks at home ? 6 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. They are all well, darling. But how is yourself, my dear girline ? Bridget. I am well, my dear Patrick. But what do you mean to do in New York ? Pat. I don't know yet, but I am not one of those that think they can pick up gold in Gold Street, for I believe that I will have to work for a living, or else go to San Francisco, Cal. Bridget. Patrick, don't go from me, I will try and get you a place. Pat. God bless you, my darling, bat what kind of a place ? Bridget. The Editor of the Evening Journal wants a strong young man to make fires and go of errands. I happened to see the advertisement when I was looking in the paper this morning. Patrick O'Shay. And do you think that 1 will do? Bridget. I feel shure that you will suit because you are strong enough to be a porter, and the stronger you are the better he will like it. Pat. Show me the paper, alana. Bridget. [Gives Pat the Journal.] Pat. [Looks at the paper a few monieuts,] and exclaims, " May 1 keep this paper? " Bridget. You may, asthore, sure I bought that myself. Pat. [Putting the paper in his pocket.] I'll go and see about that job right away. Bridget. That's right, my love. Pat. [Takes Bridget's hand, and kissing it,] exclaims, '' Good morning, iwy darling." LOOKING FOR A WIFE. i SCENE II.— .4 Street Seene in New York, Gold Street. Enter Pat O'Shay from the ricjlit and Mr. George Gleason, Editor of the Evening Journdl from the left. [They meet in middle of the stage.] Pat. Will you please to tell me if the office of the Evening Joitrnal is around here anywhere? Mr. Gleason. It is around the corner. Do you wish to see Mr. Gleason? Pat. I do, sir. Mr. Gleason. Well, I am the man. Pat. Then I am very glad to see you, because I read in the paper that you wanted a young man. Mr. Gleason. So I do. Have you a recommen- dation? Pat. I have. Mr. Gleason. Then come around to the office right away. [They exit by the left.] SCENE III. — Editorial rooms of the Evening Joarrtal. A desk and e hairs in room. Enter Mr. Gleason by centre, a}id sitting dotvn to desk begins to tvrite. [Stops writing and calls Patrick. Not receivijtg an answer, he rises and goes to centre door and calls Patrick again and goes back to desk and sits down.] Enter Patrick. Mr. Gleason. Why didn't you come when I first called you? Pat. I was at the other end of the composing room learning to set type, and did not hear when you first called. Mr. Gleason. Well, try and keep your ears open a little better in the future, and change 8 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. those corduroy breeches and frieze coat for a new suit of fashionable clothes. Pat. But where is the money to come from? Mr. Gleason. I will give you four weeks' pay in advance. [Takes out a roll of hills and hands them to P(ii.\ Pat. [Takes the bills and pats them in his pocket.] Mr. Gleason. [Handing Pat a sJieet of letter paper.] Take this to the foreman of the com- posing room and tell him to put it among the matrimonial ads, and that it is my advertisement for a wife. Then go and get yourself a suit of clothes. But don't be out over an hour, and if you get back before I get back, you may tell the ladies, who call in answer to my advertisement, to take seats outside until I come back. You will find chairs enough in the composing room. Pat. I will, sir. [Exit Pat by centre.] Mr. Gleason. [Takes off his duster and hangs it up and removing his eye glasses puts on his hat and exits by centre.] After a few moments^ Enter Pat by centre ivith a new suit of clothes, [closes centre door.] Pat. I would like to go out again, but I must stay at home this afternoon and receive ladies. I hope that Bridget won't be jealous. [Approaches desk a7id is about to sit doivn. A knock at the centre door.] Pat. [Goes to door and opens it a little, ajid stands sideways so as lady can be seen in door way.] Miss Sumner. [Looking in.] I came in answer to Mr. Gleason's advertisement. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 9 Pat. Please to sit down outside for a few minutes. [Miss Sumner leaves the centre door. Pat closes the door and walks toivards the desk. Another rap on the door.] Pat. [Goes to the door and opens it and stands sideways as before.] Miss Smith. [Looking in.] I wish to see Mr. Gleason. Pat. You will have to sit outside for a few minutes. Go and sit down beside that other lady. Miss Smith. [Leaves the door. Pat closes the door and advances toivards the desk again. Another knock on the centre door.] Pat. [Goes to the door and opens it and stands as before.] Miss Gray. [Looking in.] 1 woukl like to see Mr. Gleason. Pat. Please to go and sit down beside the other ladies. Miss Gray. [Leaves the door. Pat advances towards the desk. Another knock on the door. Pat goes to the door again and opens it and stands as t)efore.] Miss Fay. [Looking in.] I want to see Mr. Gleason. Pat. Please to take a seat beside the other ladies. Miss Fay. [Leaves the door.] Pat, [advancing toivards the footlights.] I will play a joke on them ladies and on the boss. [Scratching his head.] I have it. One of the lads outside has a false mustache. I will get the loan of it, and put on the boss's coat. And I'll borrow 10 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. the eye glasses from the old compositor outside. [Goes outside and refiuiis in a little while and puts on the false nuistache aud eye glasses and iJie hoss\s duster, and. (joes to the centre door and beckons to Miss Stunner. Enter Miss Sumner. Pat, [hoiring.] Good afternoon. I suppose you called in answer to my advertisement ? Miss Stunner. Yes, I took pity on your forlorn condition. Pat. Pity is a very good thing, but I want some one to love me. And if a lady's heart did not with love for me fill, I would not marry her if she had all the gold in California, and all the diauionds in Brazil. Miss Stunner. But I do love you. Pat. Then it will be all right, for I love you dearly and will marry you. Miss Stunner. But when would you like to have the marriage ceremony performed ? Pat. 0, any time you like. I'll let you name the day. Miss Sumner. Before naming the day, I want it distinctly understood that I am to have all the dresses I want, and plenty of pocket money, and horses and carriages. Pat. 0, of course, of course, my dear. [Taking her hand and kissing it passionately.] Miss Sitniner. I will name next Monday morn- ing as the marriage day; be at the Fifth Avenue Hotel at S o'clock, with your best man. Pat. All right, my love. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 11 Miss Sumner. All right, my dear George. [Blow- ing a hiss with her hand.] Adieu until next Mon- day morning. Pat. [Boiving and hloiving a kiss.] Adieu my dear love. [Exit Miss Sumner by the centre door.] Pat. [Going to desk and sitting doivn.] I have her on a fine string. I wonder what the next one will say. [A knock on the centre door. Enter Miss Smith. Pat rises and hows to Miss Smith.] Miss Smith. Do I address Mr. George Gleason? Pat. You do. Miss Smith. I came in answer to your adver- tisement. Do you think that I will suit you ? Pat. Well, I am admiring your pretty form. Miss Smith. And are you getting broke up on my shape? Pat. Something like that. Miss Smith. What would you say if a lady told you that she loved you dearly? Pat. If I loved her and thought she would have me for good or for better, I would let her. Miss Smith. Oh, George, I do love you ever so much. [Pat attempts to embrace atid kiss her.] Miss Smith. No yon don't. [Dancing away from him.] No liberties before marriage. Pat. What! not kiss my intended bride? Miss Smith. You may kiss my hand. [Extend- ing her hand.] Pat. [Takes her hand and kissing it.] When will you name the happy day? Miss Smith. 0, next Monday morning will do. 12 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. All right, my darling; we will get married on next Monday morning. Miss Smith. Then bring a carriage to the Grand Central Hotel on next Monday morning, at 8 o'clock, and we will go to the Little Church aronnd the Corner and get married. Pat. All right, my deary. Miss Smith. I must go now, my love. [Blowing a kiss.] Adieu until next Monday morning. Fat. [Blowiug a kiss.] Adieu my dearest. [Exit Miss Smith bg centre door.] [Pat goes to the desk and sits down. Another knock on the door.] Pat. Come in. Enter Miss Gray. Pat. [Rises and hoirs.] Miss Gray. 1 called in answer to your adver- tisement. Do you think that I will suit? Pat. That depends upon circumstances. What are your accomplishments? Miss Graif. I can play on the piano, and sing and dance. Pat. And can you cook and make oat meal gruel and apple dumplings? Miss Graif. 1 aspire to be the cook's boss. I know how things should be cooked, for I have a theoretical as well as a practical knowledge of cooking. Pat. Very good, very good. What is your name? Miss Gray. My name is Louise Gray. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 13 Pat, [Bowing.] If I many charming Louise, I'll do everything to please her. Miss Gray. Well, how do I fill your bill? Pat. 0, sweet girl, with the flaxen hair, And the brow so fair. For your love I do care, I should always like to be by your side, You will make me happy if you become my bride. Miss Gray. Mr. Gleason I offer you my hand and heart. Pat. [Grasping her extended hand and kissing it.] When will you name the happy day? Miss Gray. My dear George, how would next Monday morning do? Pat. First rate, my love. It will suit me. Miss Gray. Then be at the Fifth Avenue Hotel next Monday Morning at nine o'clock. Pat. All right, my sweet. Miss Gray. [Bhnving a kiss.] Adieu, my love Pat. [Bloiving a kiss.\ Adieu, my dear. [Exit Miss Gray hy centre door.] [Pat goes to desk and sits down again. Another knock on tJte centre door.] Pat. Come in. Enter Miss Fay. Pat. [Rising front hi >^ seat and bowing.] Good afternoon. Miss F((y. [Bowing.] Good afternoon. Mr Gleason. I believe that you are in want of a wife, some one that you can take to the theatre or to the opera, and go into society with, an attractive blonde? 14 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat, [Sighing.] 0, yes; some one liRe you. Miss Fay. Yes; like me. I am accomplished, and I own a farm on Long Island. Pat. That is all very fine, and it is what I call a grand inducement. But what is your name? Miss Fay. My name is Sarah Jane Fay. Pat. Were you ever married? Miss Fay. Only three times. Pat. "Holy smoke '^ you don't mean to say that you buried three husbands? Miss Fay. Not quite so good as that. I have been divorced three times, Pat. Only three times divorced. No wonder that you look so j'oung and beautiful. Miss Fay. Don't you think that I would make a good wife for an editor? I could let him have any amount of cash. Pat. That would be excellent. You would make an obliging wife as well as a handsome one. Miss Fay. [Bowing.] You are very compli- mentary. Pat. I can't help it, for I love all the handsome ladies and the winsome girls. And if it was not against the laws Of the Church and Nation, I w^ould marry all the nice girls in creation. Miss Fay. But do you think that I am good- looking enough to be your wife? Pat. Certainly; will you accept of my hand and heart. Will you be my wife? [Extends his hand.] ^ Miss Fay. [Giving Pat her hand.] Yes, George. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 15 Pat. [Kissing her hand.] 0, my Sarah, my sweet little dear, I hope that your other three husbands will never interfere. Miss Fay. They dare not, they dare not. Pat. I hope not, but how about our wedding day. When would you like to get married? Miss Fay. Next Monday morning. Be at Grace Church next Monday morning at ten o'clock with youi' best man, and I will be there with my ladies. After the ceremony we will breakfast at Delmonico's at my expense, and then proceed to my farm on Long Island. Pat. All right, my love. No cards. Miss Fay. [Blowing a kiss.] Adieu, until next Monday morning. [Exit Miss Fay by centre.] Pat. I am getting tired of this. I will take off this mustache and coat, and go to see my own sweetheart. [Takes off Mr. Gleason's coat and hangs it up ivhere it belongs and taking of the mustache and eye glasses exits by centre.] SCENE lY.—Gold Street. Street Scene. [Citizens, Neivs Boys and others walk across the stage for a few mi mites.] SCENE V. — Basement of Alderman Clancy's house. Bridget dusting thefwrniture and singing some Irish song. When Bridget finishes a verse or two of the song she looks toivards the door and sees Pat, and exclaims, " Come^ in a vick, and tell me how you are getting along.'' Pat enters by basement door on left. Bridget. How is your heart this evening? 16 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. It is fond and true, and full of love for you. Bridget. Are you sure that you don't love some one else? Pat. As shure as I live. Bridget. I hope so, but — Pat. But what? Bridget. But don't make love to other girls, or flirt as some people call it. Pat. I will not, my darling. It's your own sweet face I see, In song and story; For you are my evening star. And my morning glory. Bridget. A truce to blarney, tell me how^ you like your new^ place. I suppose that you are working in the Journal office? Pat. 1 got the job. Bridget. And did your boss present you with that new suit of clothes? Pat. He gave me one month's pay in advance, because he saw that I needed a new suit of clothes. Bridget. He was very kind. Pat. Yes, he was. Bridget. I suppose it made you feel happy to receive your first month's pay? Pat. Yes, it did: for I knew that I w^ould have enough to buy a new suit of clothes, and a present for you. Bridget. A present ^for me, what kind of a present? LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 17 Pat. A ring, our engage ring. [Takes a ring from his vest pocket and hands it to Bridget.] Bridget. It is a nate little ring. Pat. It is, and { hope that you will like it. Bridget. 1 will because it is a present from you, and because it is our— Pat. Our engage ring. Bridget. Yes," a vick, that is it. Pat. Of course, it is. [Emijraces and kisses her.] Bridget. My dear Patrick, you must be tem- perate and save your money. Pat. I will, alalia. Bridget. If you don't 1*11 never sing for you. Pat. I promise you that I will be temperate, and that I will save my money. Now won't you sing for me? Bridget. Yes, if you join in the chorus. Pat. All right. [Theg sing and dance some Irish song ] END OF FIRST ACT. ACT II. SCENE Yl.-Editorial Room of the Evening Journal Pat discovered dusting of the desk. Enter Mr. CIleason bg centre. Exit Pat. Mr. G/eason. [Taking a seat at desk] I wonder why the ladies don't call. They have had time enough to think over my advertisement. Perhaps they will be here shortly, for it is now four o'clock, and it is Monday afternoon. [.4 rap on door.] 18 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Mr. Gleason. Come in. Enter Mr. Smith, the legal friend of Mr. Gleason. Mr. Gleason. [Turning toward the door sees his friend, and rising, extends his hand, and exclaims,] Good afternoon, Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith. [Grasps his hand, and exclaims,] Good afternoon, Mr. Gleason. Mr. Gleason. How is business? Have you got any clients? 3Ir. Synith. Not many. [^4 rap on door.] Mr. Gleason. Gome in. Enter Mr. Barnes, Miss Sumner, Miss Smith, Miss Gray and Miss Fay. Mr. Gleason. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Smith. Good afternoon, Mr. Barnes. Mr. Barnes. Good afternoon. [Turning to Mr. Gleason.] Mr. Editor, the ladies have instructed me to bring a suit against you for breach of promise, for they found by comparing notes that you promised to marry them on this Monday morning. Mr. Gleason. Me promise to marry them, they are dreaming. I did not promise to marry any one yet. Miss Sumner. Did you advertise for a wife? Mr. Gleason. Yes, [ did, and was expecting an answer, but no one called this morning. And if any called on Saturday morning I did not see them. Miss Sumner. Didn't you promise to be at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, at 8 o'clock this morning, with vour best man? LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 19 Mr. Gleason. No, I never promised anything of that kind. Miss Sumner. 0, you deceitful wretch. I will sue you for breach of promise. Mr. Barnes. And she will claim $50,000 damages. Miss Smiih. And I will sue him for $100,000 damages if he don't keep his promise with me. Miss Gray. And I will sue him for $150,000 if he don't keep his promise with me. Miss Fay. And I'll sue him for $200,000 if he don't marry me. Mr. Barnes. Mr. Gleason, jonr joke is likely to cost you $500,000. Mr. Gleason. That is about all I have, but I will not lose it. Mr. Barnes. Why not? Mr. Gleason. Because I can prove an alibi. Mr. Smith. So he can. He was playing billiards with me and some other gentlemen on Saturday. Miss Sumner. At what time on Saturday? Mr. Smith. From three o'clock until six. Chorus of Ladies. 0, what a story! Miss Sumner. It w^as at three o'clock on Saturday afternoon that he promised to marry me. Mr. Smith. I think that some one else must have personated Mr. Gleason on Saturday afternoon. Mr. Gleason. Most likely. I'll call Patrick, maybe he knows something about it. [Goes to centre door and calls Patrick, while the ladies are talking to each other.] 20 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Enter Patrick from centre. Mr. Gleason. Patrick, did you receive any ladies on Saturday? Pat. What ladies? Mr. Gleason. The fair ladies present. Pat. 0, yes; I told them to sit down outside. Mr. Gleason. Very good, I told you if any ladies called to find seats for them. But who personated me and promised to marry them ? Pat. That's very queer. Did they say it was me? Mr. Smith. Not yet, but it looks like it. [The ladies stare at Pat, and appear to he conversing.] Mr. Smith. I think that Patrick has played a joke on the ladies and on his boss, for he is about the same height, and he looks something like Mr. Gleason. Pat. Shure I am not Mr. Gleason. Don't he wear eye glasses and a mustache. Mr. Smith. But you could put on a false mustache and eye glasses and that duster on the nail and look like the editor. Suppose we trans- form you just to see how you will look. [Mr. Smith takes the duster off the nail and handing it to Pat,] Put that on Patrick. [Pat puts on the Editor^ s duster.] Mr. Smith. [Taking a false dark mustache out of his vest pocket,] Now put that on. Pat. [Puts on the dark mustache.] Mr. Sinith. [Handing Pat his eye-glasses.] Now, put that on. Pat. [Puts on the eye-glasses.] LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 21 Mr. SniifJf. Now, ladies, look at him. Don't you think that Pat has played a joke on you and on his boss? Miss Sinnner. It looks like it. The other ladies. So it does, so it does. Miss Stimner. Taking a small coivhide froyn under her shaivl or wrapper.] Now, ladies, let us give him what we intended to give his boss. [Miss Smith, Miss Gray and Miss Fay take coivhides from under their ivrappers.] Fat. [Dropping upon his knees.] 0, ladies, forgive me. It was only a joke of mine. Miss Sumner. Now, ladies. [Fat rises from his hiees and the ladies coivhide him around the stage for a few ?ninutes and exit hy centre.] Mr. Smith and Mr. Barnes. Good afternoon, Mr. Gleason. Mr. Gleason. Good afternoon, gentlemen. [Mr. Smith and Mr. Barnes exit by centre.] Mr. Gleason. Patrick, how do you feel after that cowhiding? Fat. I feel rather sore, but I will recover from it, and I hope that you will forgive me for playing that joke on you and the ladies. Mr Gleason. I don't think that I should. Fat. If you forgive me this time I will not play any more jokes on you, and I will try to get you a good wife. Mr. Gleason. Well, Til forgive you, but you must not do so again. 22 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. All right, sir; when I did play that joke I believed then as I do now that I can get you acquainted with a handsome young lady who is qualified in every respect to be your wife. Mr. Gleason. Is she good looking? Pat. Remarkably so; but you shall see for yourself. Mr. Gleason. When? Pat. Be in the vicinity of St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church on next Sunday morning with your carriage. Mr. Gleason At w^hat time? Pat. When it is near ten o'clock. Drive slowly pass the church, and keep your eyes on the sidewalk when you are near the Astor House. *Mr. Gleason. All right, will you introduce me? Pat. I will try and get you acquainted somehow, but you must be there without fail. Mr. Gleason. All right, Patrick, barring accident I will be there. SCENE Mil.— Front View of the Astor Rouse. Pinter Pat. [He falls and lays ivith his face down.] Enter two young ladies from the right. [They observe Pat and exclaim, ''See that drunken loafer,^^ and pass on and exit by left.] Enter Miss Clancy from the right. Observing Pat she exclaims, " 0, what a pity.^^ [Looking towards Pat] Bridget would feel bad if sJie saw him laying they^e. I will call a cab. [She turns to left.] Enter Mr. Gleason /row? left. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 23 Miss Clancif. Will yon be so kind as to call a cab or an ambulance for this young man on the sidewalk. He does not appear to be well, he ought to be taken to the hospital. Mr. Gleason. [Looking dotvn at Pat.] Why, that is my man Patrick. I will take him to his boarding house in my carriage if he is not too ill. Miss Clancy. I think that the hospital would be the best place. Pat. [Turns and looks up.] Mr. Gleason. [Stoops down and taking his arm helps him to rise.] Pat. [Gets np.] And when up, "Good morning, Miss Clancy, I thank you for your kindness. Miss Clancy, Mr. Gleason ; Mr. Gleason, Miss Clancy. [Miss Clancy and Mr. Gleason how to each other.] Mr. Gleason. T am glad to make your acquaintance. Miss Clancy. And I am glad to make your acquaintance. But you must take care of Patrick. His Bridget will be anxious about him. Pat. Miss Clancy, please to tell Bridget that I send her my love and best wishes. Miss Clancy. All right. Pat. ]f I am not well enough to go and see her, Mr. Gleason will call and let her know how I am. Miss Clancy. Very well. [Exit Miss Clancif by L. H.] Pat. Ain't she a daisy? Mr. Gleason. Yes, Patrick, she is. Is that the young lady you had reference to? 24 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. Certainly, that is the charming young lady I had reference to. She is Alderman Clancy's only daughter. Mr. Gleason. All right; I will pop the question when I get an opportunity. Fat. That's the idea, embrace the first opportunity. You will please to drive in the vicinity of Alderman Clancy's house this evening, and stop at the Alderman's House and tell Miss Bridget Finnigan how her Patrick is. Tell her I will be all right in a few days. Mr. Gleason. Very good, Patrick, I tumble, but come and have breakfast with me. My carriage is aronnd the corner. [Mr. Gleason and Pat exit by the left.] SCENE VTIL — Parlor of Alderman Clancifs house. Furniture modern. Miss Clancy sitting near the piano. Mr. Gleason sitting near her. Miss Clancy. I have informed Bridget that Patrick will be all right in a few days. But while you are here you may as well wait until pa comes, and in the meantime if you are fond of music I will play the piano. Mr. Gleason. It would please me very much. Miss Clancy. [Takes a seat at piano and plays some popular air, tvhen finished she turns and faces Mr. Gleason.] Mr. Gleason. Miss Clancy, you play exquisitely, and the air is very pretty, as pretty as you are yourself. Miss Clancy. You are quite a flatterer. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 25 Mr. Gleason. How can I help it, and how can any one help loving yon. [Dropping on both knees.] Miss Clancy, I have the honor to offer you my hand and heart for I love you sincerely. [Taking her hand and kissing it.] Will you be my wife? Miss Clancy. If pa gives his consent I will be your wife. I believe that pa has come. Look in the library. [Mr. Gleason and Miss Clanci/ rise and Mr. Gleason placing his arm around Miss Clanci/s waist and kissing her on the forehead.] My dear, we will ask your pa. SCENE IX.— Front View of Astor House. Enter Mr. Gleason froni the left and Patrick 0'SHAY//'om the right. Mr. Gleason. Good morning, Patrick. Pat. Good morning, Mr. Gleason. What luck? Mr. Gleason. Good luck, everything all right. The young lady will have me for better or for worse, and her father has consented. Pat. And when will it come off? Mr. Gleason. In two weeks after it has been called twice in St. Peter's Church. Pat. 'J'hat's splendid. I will ask my Bridget if she will consent to be Mrs. O'Shay upon the same day after it is called twice, because it will be so nice, Mr. Gleason. Very good, Patrick, but from henceforward you must be my assistant editor. Pat. Thank you, sir; I will try to fill the position. But in the meantime I would like to take a vacation. 26 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Mr. Gleason. You can take a vacation until after our weddings. Pat. All right, sir. Mr. Gleason. But come and have some lunch. [Mr. Gleason takes Pat's arm and they exit by tJie left.] SCENE ^.—Basement of Alderman Clancy's house. Bridget is discovered siveeping the jioor and singing some Irish song. Pat knocks at door on left. Bridget puts the broom away and opens the door.] Enter Patrick O'Shay n)ith a broad, brim felt hat on. [Takes off his hat and opens his arms.] Bridget. [Banning into Pafs ar)ns.] I am glad to see you Patrick. Pat. And I am glad to see you my love, for I have good news for you. Bridget. What news? Pat. Well, in the first place, I am the assistant editor of the Evening Journal, and will receive a larger salary. Bridget. Look at that now. I thought you would be promoted to something. Pat. I believe you think a great deal my dear girline. But don't you think that it is in your power to make me very happy? Bridget. But how can I make you very happy? Pat. By becoming Mrs. O'Shay on an early day. Bridget. [Smiling.] Indeed and I will for its then ril be gay. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 27 Pat. [Emhracincj and kissing her.] Bridget, my clear, you must be aware that Miss Clancy and Mr. Gleason are a going to be married. Bridget. Yes, yes. It was of that I wanted to speak, and shure it was you gave the introduction. Pat. Indeed it was, and I want our marriage ceremony performed on the same day. What do you say to that? Bridget. With all my heart. [Giving her hands to Pat.] Put. [Takes both her hcmds and kneeling doivn on both knees.] And I promise to love and cherish you until death. Bridget. I think we will be very happy, for I love you sincerely. Pat. [Bising.] I know we will, alana, for we will always love each other. But let us have a song and dance, and then Fll be off to make arrangements for our marriage. [Music plays some old Irish air and Pat and Bridget sing and dance.] After singing and dancing for about eight minutes the scene changes. SCENE XL— Street Scene, Gold St.,N. Y.,as before. Enter Patrick O'Shay from right, and Mr. Smith from left. Mr. Smith. Good morning, Mr. O'Shay. Patrick O'Shay. Good morning. [They shake hands.] Mr. Smith. I congratulate you on your pro- motion to assistant editor. 28 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. Pat. Thank you. I suppose you will also congratulate me on my approaching marriage? Mr. Smith. I do. Pat. Then I hope that you will oblige me by acting as my best man. Mr. Smith. I have already promised to act for Mr. Gleason. But here comes Mr. Barnes, perhaps he will oblige. Enter Mr. Barnes //'o/y?. left. Mr. Smith. Good morning, Mr. Barnes. Mr. Barnes. Good m.orning, Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith. This is our friend, Mr. Patrick O'Shay, assistant editor of the Evening Journal. Mr. Barnes. [Extending his hand.] Allow^ me to congratulate you. Pat. Thank you; but I have a favor to ask. Will you oblige me by acting as my best man. I am going to get married to one of the best little girls in the world. Mr. Barnes. I will be your best man, and will congratulate you again on your good fortune. When will it take place? Mr. Smith. Next Monday morning, and T am to be Mr. Gleason's best man. Mr. Barnes. I will have to congratulate Mr. Gleason. Pat. 1 am shure that he will thank you as I do. Mr. Parties. Mr. Smith, why don't yoa get married? Mr. Smith. When my financial sky grows brighter, I'll look around, and try to sight her. LOOKING FOR A WIFE. 29 Mr. Barnes — And when my sky looks as bright as that above, I'll look around for some one to love. Pat— Pretty good, but don't despair and don't give up. And now let us take a drink, and I'll put them up. [All exit bij left.] SCENE Xll.— Alderman Claneifs parlor. Alderman Clancy sitting dotvn at centre table. Mr. George Gleason and Miss Clancy sitting down on the left hand, and Miss Clancy's bridesmaid, Patrick O'Shay and Miss Bridget Finnigan and brides- maid sitting donni on the right. Alderman Clancy. I suppose that Mr. Smith and Mr. Barnes will be here shortly. Mr. Gleason. Yes, ^ir; they will be here in a little while. I expect them every moment. Patrick. So do I. [Miss Clancy appears to be ccnversing with her bridesmaid, ami Miss Finnigan with her bridestnaid.] Alderman Clancy. [Taking two parcels out of the breast pocket of his frock coat.] My dear daughter here is your marriage portion. Miss Clancy. [Rises and goes to table and receives a large roll of bills from her father.] Alderman Clancy. It contains $50,000 in United States Bonds and Bank Notes. Miss Clancy. Then George had better take care of them. [Hands the parcel of notes and bills to Mr. George Gleason and sits dotvn again.] 30 LOOKING FOR A WIFE. ifr. Gieason. [Takes the roll of hills and jnits them in the breast pocket of his coal] Alderman Clancy. That's right, let him take care of them. And now let me make another present. Miss Bridget Finnigan I will present you with $5,000. Bridget. [Rises and goes to table and receiving a large roll of bills from the Alderman.'] Thank you, sir; I feel very grateful, but Patrick must take care of them. [Hands the roll of bills to Pat and sits doum.] Pat. [Puts them in the breast pocl'et of his coat.] Enter Mr. Smith and Mr. Barnes /Vo;;^ left. Mr. George Gieason. [Elsing.] Here they are, Alderman, our friends, Mr. Smith p.nd Mr. Barnes. [S /takes hands with thern.] [Alderman Clancy rises and shakes hands ivith Mr. Smith and Mr. Barnes. Patrick CSIiay and Miss Finnigan and, Miss Clancy and tlie tivo brides- maids rise and shake hands ivith Mr. Smith and Barnes, and then face tonmrds the front of stage. Patrick O'Shay and Miss Finnigan on right hand, Miss Finnigan's brides^naid behind Miss Finnigan, and Mr. Barnes behind Patrick O'Shay. Alderman Clancy in centre. Miss Clancy on the left of the Alderman, and Mr. George Gieason on left of Miss Clancy, Miss Clancy's, bridesmaid behind Miss Clancy, and Mr. Smith behind Mr. George Gieason.] When all are in position: Patrick 0\Shay. Every one is ready, And the ladies look full of life. Mr. George Gieason. And I am ready to receiv^e w^hat I was looking for — a charming wife. [end.I LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 015 910 186 1