T.^.DENISON 6c COJ^PANY CHICAdO: ^. — DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. Price 15c each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given DRAMAS, COMEDIES, ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. M. F. Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 acts, 2yi hrs (2Sc) 8 8^ After the Game, 2 acts, \% hrs (25c) 1 9 All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 4 4 American Hustler, 4 acts, 2J/^ hrs (25c) 7 4 Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 5 As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 2V2 hrs (25c) 9 7 At the End of the Rainbow, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 14 Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) ...' 8 4 Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 9 3 Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 7 3 Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 7 4 Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (25c) 8 5 Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25d) 7 4 College Town, 3 acts, 2^ hrs ....(25c) 9 8 Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. (25c) 17 14 Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs.. 7 4 Daughter of the Desert, 4 acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 4 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 14 hrs (25c) 8 4 Dream That Came True, 3 acts, IVa hrs (25c) 6 13 Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c) 10 Enchanted Wood, 1^4 h.(35c).Optnl. Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1^ hrs. (25c) 7 6 Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 4 4 Fascinators, 40 min (25c) 13 Fun on the Podunk Limited, 1% hrs (25c) 9 14 Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 8 4 High School Freshman, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 12 Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 13 4 Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 4 Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs.. (25c) 5 4 Jayville Junction, 1*^ hrs. (2 jc) 14 17 Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 12 Lexington, 4 acts, 2Ji h..(25c) 9 4 M. F. Light Brigade, 40 min (2jc) 10 Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 7 4 Lodge of Kye Tyes^ 1 hr.(25c)13 Lonelyville Social (I^lub, 3 acts, 1^ hrs (25c) 10 Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 hrs ..(25c) 5 2 Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 9 5 Mirandy's Minstrels. . . . (25c) Optnl, New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr,,.. 3 6 Old Maid's Club, 1^2 hrs. (25c) 2 16 Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 8 6 Old School at Hick'ry Holler, IVi, hrs (25c) 12 9 On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 10 4 Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2J^ hrs. (25c) 7 4 Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2^ hrs ...(25c) 10 12 School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^4 hrs. 6 5 Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2^ h. 8 3 Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 7 Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 6 4 Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, 2y-2 hrs. (25c) 7 4 Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h.(25c) 6 4 Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs (25c) 6 3 Trip to Storyland, 1^ hrs. (25c) 17 23 Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 7 10 Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 When the Circus Came to Town, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. (25c) 5 3 Women Who Did, 1 hr. .. (25c) 17 Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 FARCES, COMEDIETAS. Etc. April Fools, 30 min 3 Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 Billy's Mishap, 20 min. ...... 2 3 Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 Country Justice, 15 min 8 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 1 54 W. Randolph St., Chicago THE GOODFELLOW A COMEDY-DRAMA IN THREE ACTS BY HARRY L. NEWTON AUTHOR OF "Breakfast Food for Two," "A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy," "The Coming Champion," "The Coontown Thirteen Club," "The Corner Drug Store," "The Counterfeit Bills," "A Dutch_ Cocktail," "Five Minutes from Yell College," "The Heiress of Hoetow'n," "The Little Red School House," "Laughland, Via the Ha Ha Route," "Marriage and After," "Oshkosh Next Week," "The Pooh Bah of Feacetown," "The Rest Cure," "Si and I," "A Sunny Son of - Italy," "The Troubles of Rosinski," "Two Jay Detectives," "Uncle Bill at the Vaude- ville" and "When the Circus Came to Town." CHICAGO T. S. DENISON & COMPANY Publishers THE GOODFELLOW ft CHARACTERS. <"[^\/ John Dawson a Goodfellow Stubbie Stebbins A Young Reporter Old Man Hudson A Mysterious Philanthropist Steve Bacon a Detective Richard Meadows A Private Banker Jerome Woodstock An Attorney Capt. Richards Of Police Headquarters Henry Madison A Shiftless Husband Jane His Daughter Mrs. Madison Her Invalid Mother Dora Woodruff Young and Impressionable Martha Peck Old and Invulnerable Act I — Henry Madison's Home. Evening. Act II — Same. Next' Morning. Act III — Captain Richards' Office. Afternoon, same day. Time — The Present. FLACE—Rushville, a Thriving Town in . the Middle West. Time of Flaying— About Tzvo Hours and Thirty Minutes. NOTICE: — Amateur performance of this play may be given on payment to the Publishers of a royalty of five dollars ($5.00) for each performance. All acting rights are strictly reserved and consent to present it can be obtained only from the Publishers. copyright, 1914, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. 2 ^^'^ 22/9/4 ©CI.D 357as THE GOODFELLOW. SYNOPSIS FOR PROGRAM. Act I — Introducing the shiftless father and the industri- ous daughter. Miss Peck voices her candid opinion of Mr. Madison. "Something seems to tell me that that woman don't like me." The accusation. "Only two knew the com- bination — and folks don't generally rob themselves !" The weird sound of the walking stick. "Ugh ! He gives me the 'creeps'." The arrival of the Mysterious Philanthropist — also of Stubbie. Old Man Hudson pays his board in ad- vance. The stroke of the eyebrow. Stubbie is puzzled. "Sometime, somewhere, I've seen that same thing before." Miss Peck has a most thrilling adventure. The flight of John and the arrival of Detective Bacon. The search. "Mr. Stebbins, you're a great little liar !" Act II — The invalid mother and the sympathetic daugh- ter. "Mother, dear, I'm going to smile and be brave, too — just as you did !" The Mysterious Philanthropist astounds Miss Peck. "He's given me fifteen thousand dollars !" De- tective Bacon comes to report his capture and to gloat. But, somehow, he hasn't the heart to do it. Stubbie remembers the time, the place and the man. "I'm in a hurry!" Mr. Meadows proposes marria§"e. The sound of the walking stick again. Old Man Hudson politely removes Mr. Mead- ows. The stroke of the eyebrow. Act III — Captain Richards prepares his Third Degree arrangements. "Where's Stebbins?" "Last report I gits on him, he's doin' a marathon — with no hat on." Mr. Mead- ows is cross-examined. "I believe you cooked this thing up to get Dawson in bad with the girl." The hundred dollar bill. The Captain tries the Third Degree on John. "Where did you get this one hundred dollar bill?" "Captain, your Third Degree stuff works like magic. I'll sign a confession any time you say." The Captain catches a tartar in Miss Peck. Stebbins. still missing. "Where did Old Man Hudson get the bill?" Captain Richards forces Miss Woodruff to repeat Stubbie's last words — and she does. The Captain questions Old Man Hudson. The arrival of Stubbie. "Stop 4 THE GOODFELLOW. that man, Bacon !" Mr. Stebbins shows that he "knows what he knows." The stroke of the eyebrow. "That's what put me wise." The passing of the wig" and beard. Mr. Mead- ows recognizes a lost relative — and concludes not to prose- cute. The final sound of the walking stick. "Sometimes you can wink at the law and get away with it. Here's where I wink." STORY OF THE PLAY. The scene of "The Goodfellow" is laid in Rushville, a metropolis in the Middle West. Jane Madison, a young and beautiful girl, is burdened with the task of caring for an invalid mother and handicapped by a shiftless father. To "make both ends meet" she "takes in" two boarders, Martha Peck, a lady of uncertain years, and Old Man Hudson. The latter is soon looked upon as a man of mys- tery, on account of his peculiar actions. The night before the opening scene the safe of Richard Meadows has been rifled of $20,000 and securities. Suspi- cion points to John Dawson, Meadows' confidential clerk, as being the thief, and a warrant is sworn out for his arrest. Jane is John's sweetheart and he comes to bid her good- bye, having decided that flight was the best way out of it all. Detective Bacon arrives as John' is kissing her good-by, but is hindered from taking John owing to intervention of Stubbie, a newspaper reporter, and Hudson, and John es- capes. Hudson has a peculiar habit of stroking his eye- brows, which attracts the attention of Stubbie, and who is puzzled by it, declaring to Dora, his sweetheart, that in time gone by he has seen the same thing and under some- what exciting circumstances. Dawson is captured the next moning and Detective Bacon comes to the Madison home to impart the information and gloat over his victory. But Jane, in her struggle to bear up under adverse circumstances, arouses his sympathy, and he tells her that he will be her friend. Stubbie now connects the stroke of the eyebrow with the THE GOODFELLOW. 5 pest, and suddenly dashes away from Dora, leaving her in a bewildered state of mind, as he offers her no explanation. The scene now shifts to Captain Richard's office, where we find him preparing to "solve the mystery." He declares that he has a hunch that Stebbins can clear the thing up, but no' one seems to know where h.e can be found. The Captain calls in the members of the Madison household, also Meadows and Dawson. At first the Captain is inclined to the belief that Meadows has ''framed" to get Dawson "in bad" with Jane, so that he (Meadows) can marry her himself. Later developments, however, point to Dawson, and finally to Hudson as being, each in turn, the guilty party, and Captain Richards attempts to fasten the crime on the latter, but his efforts are futile. He is about to release Hudson when Stubbie dashes in with the astounding decla- ration that Hudson is no less a personage than one Blinkie Bowers, known in police circles as the "philanthropist crook." He verifies his accusation by jerking off Hudson's v/ig and beard, disclosing him to be a prepossessing young man of thirty. Stubbie has "burned the wires" to cinch his suspicion, first aroused by Hudson's habit of stroking his eyebrows. Hudson calmly admits the accusation and Meadows sim- ultaneously makes the discovery that Hudson, alias Blinkie Bowers, is his own nephew, a man he hates and fears above everything in all the world. Meadows demands the arrest of his nephew, charging him with the robbery of his safe. Hudson, however, unseen by the others, takes a package of old letters from his pocket and dares the old man to prosecute him, making the suggestion that he (Meadows) had made a mistake and that he lost no money. Meadows, v at sight of the letters, declares to the assembled ones that he was mistaken — that he lost no money — then goes from the room a broken man. Stubbie surreptitiously asks Hudson what pressure he brought to bear on Meadows to make him forget the loss of $20,000, and Hudson shows him the letters, telling Stub- bie that their contents would, if made public, send Meadows to prison. 6 THE GOODFELLOW. Hudson, alias Blinkie Bowers, is allowed to go, Stubbie having proved to Captain Richards that he was ''not wanted" by the police in any city. John declares that he is no longer proud of being called a Goodfellow, a term he has acquired by his congenial and convivial habits, and will thereafter stick to the ''straight and narrow," having had his lesson. Captain Richards is firmly convinced that Hudson stole Meadows' money, but declares to Stubbie that once in a while one can "wink at the law and get away with it." CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. Dawson — Young man of about twenty-five, handsome and modest. He wears ordinary business suit, light over- coat and soft hat in first act and neat gray suit in third act. Stebbins — Young man of twenty-seven or eight, short and fat. He wears nifty clothing throughout. He is good- hearted and impulsive, deeply in love with Dora, and is the kind of a chap to "go the limit" for a friend. Old Man Hudson — In first two acts he appears to be a man of about sixty, wearing white wig and beard and spectacles. In third act, when his disguise is thrown of¥ by Stubbie, he is disclosed as a man of about thirty. He wears dark clothing throughout and carries a heavy walking stick. His habit of stroking an eyebrow must be done in a pro- nounced manner and peculiarly. As he enters each, time he throws a quick, suspicious glance all about and is altogether a "man of mystery," but a likable man, gains the sympathy of the audience at his first appearance and maintains it. Bacon — A regulation "plain clothes" man of about thirty. He walks with a heavy tread and is illiterate in speech. Meadows — Old man of about sixty-five, wears rusty black clothes and is miser-like in appearance and actions. Wears snow white wig, and is smoothly shaven. Woodstock — Man of about forty-five, fat and with a doleful cast of countenance. Wears black clothing, tight THE GOODFELLOW. 7 trousers and a much-the-worse-for-wear silk hat, which he continually brushes with palm of hand. Richards — Squat, heavy-set man of about fifty, with iron-gray hair and smoothly shaven face, highly colored to give effect of former out-of-door life. He speaks with a slight trace of an Irish brogue, is brusque, kindly and whim- sical, but above all a police captain. Wears regulation police captain's uniform. Madison — Old man of about sixty, shiftless regarding clothing and action ; speaks slowly and with a slight Yankee drawl. Jane — A handsome young woman of twenty-three, ca- pable of emotion or gayety as the occasion may require. Wears simple but pretty dresses throughout. Mrs. Madison — A sweet looking old lady of about fifty- five. Her only appearance is in Act H, during which she wears a lounging robe, trimmed with lace. Dora — A pretty, vivacious girl of eighteen. Wears pretty costumes throughout. Martha — Maiden lady of uncertain age. Has a sweet disposition, but a sharp tongue at times. Not a burlesque ''Old Maid" part, but can be played that way if so desired. All characters on returning from outdoors should wear overcoats, wraps, gloves, etc., as it is late fall. LIST OF PROPERTIES. Act I — Plate of apples; newspaper; revolver, not to be fired; a bottle containing dark colored fluid and a piece of paper money. Act II — Check book and fountain pen for Hudson and a piece of fancy sewing for Martha. Act III — Desk telephone, pen, ink and paper; cigar box containing two cigars ; same piece of paper money as used in Act I ; package of letters for Hudson and telegram for Stubbie. THE GOODFELLOW. STAGE SETTING. / Door Kitchen I Acts I and II. Door I Street ' \I /-vRocking q Door ^-^ Chair Martha's Room _I China Closet O O O o o Table and Chairs -iWlndow ^ Door Parlor Sofa \3 Door Mother's Room i_ / Door L Acts III. — iWlndowl O o o Desk and Chairs Y Door 1 STAGE DIRECTIONS. R., means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center ; L., left; R. D., right door; L. D., left door, etc.; 1 E., first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. 3 E., right entrance upstage, etc. ; D. F., door in flat or scene running back of the stage; upstage, away from footlights; downstage, near footlights ; 1 G., first groove, etc. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. THE GOODFELLOW Act I. Scene: Combination living and dining-room in Henry Madison^s home, boxed in 3d grooves. Exterior backing in 4th grooves. Practical door R. C. in flat and window L. C. Practical doors R. 2 E. and R. 3 E. and L. 2 E. and L. 3 E. Dining table covered with white cloth, down C. Four or five cane seat chairs are shoved underneath table. Large rocking chair R. C. Sofa L. C. China closet C. against flat, also halltree. Other furniture and pictures on walls, bric-a-brac, etc., to give the effect of an old-fash- ioned home of people once affluent, but now in straitened circumstances. Jane and Henry discovered at rise. He, comfortably ensconsed in rocking chair R. C, reading newspaper, while Jane is engaged setting table for supper. She goes back and forth from china closet to table, abstractedly humming a rather mournful air. Her face is pale and she wears a plain black dress, with white collar, cuffs and small apron. She passes back and forth three times before Henry''s first speech^ then — Henry {lowering paper and glowering over its top at her, then pompously clears throat before speaking. Ir- ritably). Jane, I do wish to goodness you wouldn't hum that funeral dirge. You irritate me so I can't read. {Lays down paper and polishes glasses with red bandana.) Jane {passively). Very well, father. {Arranges dishes and silver about table, in abstracted' manner.) Henry {watches her in critical silence for an instant). Jane ! Jane {pausing in her task, a plate in one hand, expec- tantly). Yes? Henry. There appears to be a want of energy in your actions of late. You seem to lack ambition. . 10 THE GOODFELLOW. Jane. Ambition ! {Laughs mirthlessly, then plate slips from her hand to table ; stares stonily into space.) Henry {irritably) . And please, young lady, don't bang the dishes so. You get on my nerves ! Jane {looking sadly at him). Father, you should be the last person in the world to chide me, especially for any seeming want of ambition or lack of energy on my part. FIenry. And why? Don't I give you a home— a place to eat and sleep? Jane {spiritlessly) . Yes — I have a place to eat and sleep. Henry. Humph.! Then what more do you want? Jane {with a faraway look). Ambition! No, I don't be- lieve I know the meaning of the word any more. {Gazes sadly about, then laughs mirthlessly.) Ambition ! No, father, I don't believe I have any left. Henry. Well, you should have. You've got everything to work and to live for. You've got two boarders that pay you regularly every week, haven't you? Jane. I have no complaint on that score. The boarders are prompt pay. Henry. Another thing. Who did the talking when the two boarders applied here for board? Jane. You did, father. Henry {proudly). You bet I did. Old Man Hudson afterwards declared that he had never met a more engaging or intelligent talker than me in his life ; and Miss Peck said about the same thing. Jane {laughs good-naturedly). Oh, well; it's all right. I give you due credit, Fm sure. Henry {mollified). I ain't looking for anything that I ain't entitled to, but I do pride myself on the fact that I know how to talk. Jane {mischievously) . Yes, Stubbie says that talking is the very best thing you can do. Henry {not realizing that a thrust zvas intended). Say, you know, I kinder like that chap. He's chock full of life and energy, and — {pause) — and he's a rattling good judge of human nature, too. (Jane smiles, then goes to closet for more dishes.) Yes, sirree, Stubbie's a fine young fel- THE GOODFELLOW. 11 low. (Glances cautiously about first, then in subdued tone.) This Old Man Hudson has certainly g-ot me curious. I don't know what to make of him. Jane (coming to table with dishes). Why? (Laughs.) Henry (again glancing about, in cautious tone). He's a mystery. I can't discover anything about him. He's al- ways got plenty of money, but I swear I can't find out where he gets it. Jane (arranging table, laughingly). That's too bad, father. Why don't you ask him? Henry. I did — a half dozen times; but he's too durned clever. He's a deep one, all right, and (glances all about, shivers) he gives me the "creeps" every time h.e comes near me. Jane. Nonsense, father. Mr. Hudson is a very nice man, also a very charitable one. He's always giving something to somebody. Henry. Well, he never gave me anything in the line of information. All he gives me is the ''creeps." (Picks up paper, viciously turns over a page and stares angrily at the print with unseeing eyes.) Mrs. Madison (off L., in a weak, complaining voice). Jane! Jane. Yes, mother. Mrs. M. Have you forgotten me entirely? Jane (cheerily). Why, no, mother. Something I can get you ? Mrs. M. I did want something, but I've forgotten what it was now. (Pause.) What time is it? Henry (aside). She wants something if it's only the time. Jane (glancing at clock, dial cannot he seen by audience). It's nearly seven, dear. Mrs. M. Well, isn't it time for my medicine? Jane (patiently) . Yes, dear. Father will bring it to you. (Henry lowers paper and frowns over top at Jane.) Mrs. M. (peevishly). I don't want father to bring it. I want you. Jane (sighs, goes to china closet). Very well, mother 12 THE GOODFELLOW. dear. Just a moment. {Takes a bottle from closet and ex- its door L. 2 E.) Henry (turning another page with a vicious snap). Humph! Them folks expect me to do everything about the place. Enter Martha, door R. 2 E. She is attired for the street and is pulling on a glove as she comes in. Martha {stiffly). Good evening, Mr. Madison. Henry {working chair about and facing her) . Oh, good evening, Miss Peck. Going out? Martha {sarcastically). No, I'm just coming in. {At door R. C.) Tell Miss Madison I won't be here for supper tonight. I'm going to the Episcopal Church supper. {With hand on knob.) Henry {lightly). You want to be careful, Miss Peck, going about all alone. Young men nowadays are pretty pesky bold. {Rises.) Martha {scornfully) . Humph! Well, I'd just like to see one of them speak to me. I'd just like to see 'em try it! Mr. Madison, to my notion men are the most useless creatures that the good Lord ever put the breath of life into. Henry {resentfully) . O, I wouldn't say that. There's some that amount to something. Martha {scornfidly) . Humph! Where? Henry {meaningly). O, you wouldn't have to look very far to find one, I guess. Martha {sarcastically). You I suppose you mean! {Comes quickly to dining-tahle, leans against it, stump speech fashion^) Let me tell you something, Mr. Madison. Maybe you think you are somebody, but you're my idea of a big human cipher in the arithmetic of life. {Pounds table with a fist.) I have my candid opinion, Mr. Madison, of a man that will sit around all day and allow his own daughter to slave and drudge the way you do. And yet you say you wouldn't have far to go to find a man that amounted to something! Bah! Piffle! I'd have a heap further to go than Mr. Henry Madison's house, I'm here to tell you. THE GOODFELLOW. 13 (Pounds table again.) Why, say, you wouldn't even draw your own breath if your daughter could do it for you. And if it wasn't for that same daughter you'd be in the poor- house. I begrudge every cent I pay for my board here, be- cause some of it goes to keep you alive. Keeping you alive is a sheer waste of good money, and I do hate to see my money wasted. (Turns and flounces to door R. C., turns and faces him again.) I hope my words have found lodgement in your shiftless hide ; but they won't. It's too much to hope for that they will. But they've done some good. That's the longest you've stood on your feet at one time since I've been here. Good night. (Exit door R. C, hanging it after her. ) Henry (who has stood all through her tirade zvith hands behind his back, head thrust out and zvide open mouth, nozv stares after her an instant, slowly turns, walks to. rocking chair, slowly picks up newspaper, stares at it meditatively for an instant.) By jinks! Something seems to tell me that that woman don't like me. (Preoccupied air.) Enter Jane, door L. 2 E., with bottle in hand, crosses to china closet and places bottle on a shelf. Jane. Were you talking to someone, father? Henry (with a start). Eh? Jane. I asked you -if you were talking- to someone. Henry. Me? No, I wasn't talking. (Polishes glasses.) Jane. I thought I heard someone talking. Henry. You did — but it wasn't me. Jane. Oh! (Occupies herself at table.) Did Mr. Hud- son come in? Henry. No, Miss Peck went out. (Squints through glasses to see if they are clean.) , Jane. Went out — without her supper ? Henry (vehemently) . Say, I don't know that woman's middle name, or whether she has one or not ; but if she has, it's 'Talk," and I'll bet on it. You know, old Dan-u-el Webster and myself have both an established reputation on the method by which we handle the English language, but 14 THE GOODFELLOW. that Peck woman makes both of us look like a couple of deaf mutes with our hands cut off. Jane (laughs lightly). What did she say tO' you? (Goes to door R. 3 E.) Henry. Um ! (Polishes glasses to hide his confusion.) Well, she said for one thing that she wouldn't be here for supper. Jane (at door R. 3 E.). Is that all? Henry. Not by a jugful it wasn't all. (Occupies himself with paper and intimating by his actions that he has noth- ing more to say regarding the matter.) Jane (at door). If you don't mind, you might fill the coal box. I shall hardly have enough coal to finish cooking supper. (Exits door R. 3 E.) Henry (slamming paper down on floor. Solos angrily). By ginger ! I'm getting blamed tired of doing all the work around here. I don't get a chance to set down a second and read my paper before it's "Father, get some coal," or 'Tather, pump some water," or it's father do this or father do that. Humph ! It's a fine state of affairs when it gets so a man is ordered about his home like he was a common servant. (Sulks.) Enter Jane, R. 3 E. She carries a plateful of cut bread. Crosses to table, sets it down. Jane. I do wish, you'd hurry, fath-er. I want to get sup- per out of the way as soon as possible. I expect the folks over. Henry (testily). Folks? What folks? Jane. Why, Dora, Stubbie, and — (shyly)— and John, Henry (vehemently). Oh, John's coming, is he? Say, young lady, I'm going to lay down the law right now. I don't want that John Dawson hanging around you any longer. Understand ? Jane (zvith spirit). Father, we've gone all over that be- fore. I have no desire to quarrel with you or oppose your wishes in things reasonable. But you are unjust and un- reasonable in your dislike for John. What has he ever done to incur your dislike? THE GOODFELLOW. 15 Henry. It ain't what he's done ; it's what he hasn't done. He's a mighty shiftless young man, according to my point of view. Jane (siniles sadly). Just what is your definition of "shiftless"? Don't you think that I am in a better position to define that word than you? John has a good situation, with every opportunity for steady promotion, and — Henry (interrupting) . Say, are you intimating that Fm shiftless ? Jane (sighs). I am merely defending John— not con- demning you. Henry. That's different. But I don't like John Dawson. Jane (smilingly). John will never be troubled with in- somnia on that account, I'm sure.. Henry. Maybe not. But he'll have trouble all right if he don't quit his drinking. (Jane sighs and shozvs that the shot has struck home.) There never was no good come from young fellows getting drunk — Jane (interrupting) . Stop, father. The worst that any- one can say against John is that he's a ''goodfellow" — per- haps too easily infiuenced. Henry. Well, there's nothing in being a ''goodfellow." I found that out years ago. Jane (sadly). Yes, I'm quite sure you did. (Henry glares at her, then picks up paper and buries his face in it.) Mrs. M. (off L., plaintive voice). Jane! Jane. Yes, dear. Mrs. M. (whining tone). I don't like to complain, but 1 think you are neglecting me shamefully. Henry (to Jane). You musn't neglect your mother, Jane. Jane (patiently, to Mrs. M.). Can I get you something? (Mrs. M. does not reply and Jane stands expectantly for an instant.) Is there something you wish, dear? Mrs. M. (peevishly). There is, but please don't hurry me. I am trying to think of what I want. (Jane sighs wearily and Henry conceals a grin behind his paper.) Henry (glancing at Jane from a perusal of the page in 16 THE GOODFELLOW. front of him). Funny thing, that robbery last night, wasn't it? Jane. Yes, it appears to be a very strange affair. (Drazvs out a chair and sits with one elbow on table.) Henry. Um ! Safe wasn't blown open — just opened by turning the combination, according to the paper. Jane (abstractedly). Yes — so I read. Henry (impressively) . Only two people knew the com- bination. Jane (looking at him with sudden .interest). I didn't know that. Henry. It's in the paper. You're not a close observer. (Pause, then impressively.) The two who knew the combi- nation were Banker Meadows and (slight pause) John Dawson. Jane (rising, with marked agitation). There— there must be some mistake. Henry (shaking head decisively). Nope ! No mistake; it's here in black and white. (Taps page zvith forefinger.) Jane (nervously). And — and what significance do you attach to that fact — if it's true? Henry (drazvlingly) . Waal, it ain't for me to say exactly ; but if it was, I'd say most emphatically that folks don't usually rob themselves. Jane (zvith strong emotion). You — you mean that — that John is the guilty one? (Leans toward him zvith hands clenched, indignant and threatening.) Henry (coivering from her zvrath). That ain't for me to say. I — (further speech is checked by the sound of a zvalk- ing stick striking on stone pavement at regular intervals. At first, a short distance off, then gradually grozving louder as the bearer of cane, Hudson^ approaches the house. The effect aimed at is to create a weird atmosphere to ''zi'ork up'' the entrance of Hudson and to follow up the ''creeps" im- pression that Hudson is supposed to exercise over Henry. HuDSON^s actions must convey to the audience that there is something mysterious about him. Jane and Henry^ at the first sound of Hudson's cane, strike a tense, listening atti- THE GOODFELLOW. 17 tilde and maintain same until the footsteps of Hudson are heard just without door R. C. Then — ) Jane (zvith a sigh of relief), O, it's only Mr. Hudson. - Henry (with a shiver). Ugh ! He's given me the ''creeps" again. Hudson cautiously opens door R. C, looks carefully in, unseen by Jane or Henry^ then steps quickly inside, clos- ing door after him silently. He carries a heavy zvalk- ing stick, wears a heavy overcoat and about his neck is a large silk muffler. His eyes are protected by slightly col- ored spectacles. He begins to slozdy unwind the muffler, darting quick, suspicious glances about the room. Jane {still unaware of Hudson's entrance). What do the police think of the robbery? Henry. They claim to have a strong clue — (Hudson lets his cane fall to the floor zvith a bang. Jane and Henry zvhirl about in alarm, facing Hudson.) Hudson (stooping dozvn and picking up cane). Beg your pardon — slipped out of my hand, you know. (Puts cane in halltree, takes off overcoat and hat.) Henry (to Hudson). You did give us a start, Mr. Hudson. Hudson (coming dozmi to sofa L. C. Chuckles). Read- about last night's robbery? (Sits on edge of sofa and strokes right eyebrozv zvith thumb and finger, a character- istic habit.) Henry. Yes, quite an affair, wasn't it? Hudson. I should so call it. Twenty thousand dollars and a bundle of valuable securities is quite an affair. Jane (in a loud, tense whisper). Twenty thousand dollars ! Hudson (turning quickly to Jane). Did you speak, Miss Madison ? Jane (confusedly). I? Oh, no — no, sir! How much did you say was — was stolen? Hudson. Twenty thousand in currency and some valuable securities. Jane (agitatedly) . The paper did not state that amount. 18 THE GOODFELLOW. Hudson. They didn't know just what was taken until a little while ago. Very peculiar affair indeed. Jane. I'll get your supper ready in just a few minutes, Mr. Hudson. {She deliz'ers this speech abruptly, with evi- dent desire to change the subject and leave the room.) Hudson {as she starts to go). Don't mind, Miss Madi- son. Don't bother about supper for me. I had a little busi- ness deal on and took supper at the hotel with, my future partners. (Henry betrays sudden curiosity.) Jane {at table). Very well, sir. {Smiles.) I shall have a vacation tonight, then. Miss Peck also declined to partake of my culinary effort^. {Picks up plate of bread.) She's at the church supper. Hudson {gallantly). Miss Peck sometimes displays poor judgment. (Henry tries to quench his consuming curi- osity by attempting to attract Hudson^s attention and ask him a question.) Jane {smilingly, to Hudson). And you? Hudson. Business must be my excuse tonight. Miss Madison. {Strokes his eyebrozu.) Henry {to Jane), How about me? Don't I get no supper? Jane {starting for door R. 3 zmth plate of bread). Yes — in the kitchen. (Henry scozvls, Hudson chuckles. Jane exits R. 3 E.) Mrs. M. {off L.). Did someone just come in, Jane? Henry. Yes. Mr. Hudson. {Hitches chair a couple of feet nearer HuDSt)N.) You started to tell me about your business deal, Mr. Hudson. Hudson {rising from sofa. Irrelevantly) . You've got a mighty fine daughter, Mr. Madison — mighty fine! {Sighs.) I would that I might — Henry {interrupting, not to be turned). Did your busi- ness deal involve much cash, Mr. Hudson ? Hudson. And she's a mighty fine cook, too. Sorry to miss even one meal here. {Goes to door L. 3 E., turns, lays one finger alongside of nose and closes one eye.) Yes, sirree ; she's one woman in a thousand. {Exits L. 3 E., smiling knozvingly over shoulder.) THE GOODFELLOW. 19 Henry (rising, shaking a fist at the departed man and scozvling). You think you're mighty smart, don't you? But I'll find out something about you yet. {Exits R. 3 E.) Stubbie and Dora appear at window L. C, peer in, then go to door R. C. and knock. Jane enters R. 3 E., wiping lips with handkerchief, as if she'd just been eating, goes to door R. C. and opens it. Enter Stubbie and Dora. Jane greets them heartily, kissing Dora and shaking hands zvith Stubbie. Jane (after greetings, looking at door expectantly, then going to it and looking off R. and L.) Did you see any- thing of John? (Closes door; shozvs keen disappointment.) Stubbie (hanging up overcoat and hat). Not a blessed thing. (Jane sighs' heavily.) Dora (to Jane, hanging up jacket and hat). You see, dearie, we didn't come — that is, we didn't meet anybody on our way here. Stubbie (in his characteristic breezy manner, drazving off a pair of yellozv chamois gloves). No, we only hit the lone- some spots. Didn't we,' sweetheart? (Chucks Dora under her chin. She shows confusion.) Jane (smiling). I believe you two are a couple of true exponents of "Love's young dream." Stubbie (places gloves in overcoat pocket so that the tops protrude, goes to sofa and sits. To Jane.) We haven't a thing on you and John at that, Jansie. Say, when have you decided to permit your John to commence paying the gro- cery bills? (Dora stands back of sofa, smiling.) Jane (turning away to hide her confusion). I — I — we haven't decided, Stubbie. (Sits at dining-table, idly picks up fork and toys zvith it.) Stubbie (piilling out a cigar). Oh, come now; that's not right. You — Dora (back of sofa, claps one hand over his mouth. Aside). Hold your tongue. (Indicates Jane.) Stubbie (to Jane, holding up cigar). You don't object, do you? 20 THE GOODFELLOW.. Jane. No ; by all means, smoke, Stubbie. (Resumes toy- ing zvith fork, abstracted manner.) Stubbie (aside to Dora). Say, what's the matter with her nobs ? (Nods at Jane, scratches match and lights cigar.) Dora (aside to him). I don't just know — but I'm going to find out. Mrs. M. (off L.). Jane! Jane. Yes, mother. Mrs. M. Did someone just come in? Jane. Yes, mother — Dora and Stubbie. Dora and Stubbie (in chorus). How are you feeling tonight, Mrs. Madison? Mrs. M. (fretfidly). Just the same. I shall never be any different — never ! (Jane sighs, Stubbie gives two or three vigorous puffs on cigar, while Dora runs her fingers through his hair in tender manner.) Jane (sighs again, then to Stubbie). I don't believe she suffers any, poor soul. But it's terrible to lie there day after day — no hope — nothing! (Dora and Stubbie nod sympa- thetically.) Stubbie, I'm awfully worried. Stubbie (with keen sympathy). Worried? About her? (Nods in direction of L. 2 E.) Jane. No — that is, it's not she altogether. (Hesitates.) It's somebody else. Stubbie. Stubbie (with quick sympathy, leaning eagerly forward on sofa). I'll punch his head off, Jansie. Jane (smiling). I don't want his head punched off, Stubbie. Dora (to Stubbie). Certainly not. She likes his head. Stubbie (to Dora). Say, how do you know who it is, and — Dora (interrupting) . Because I'm a woman, and a woman is most always a good guesser. Now I need only one guess to name the person Jane is worried about. It's John Daw- son. (Jane shows confusion.) Stubbie (to Jane). Oh, forget it. If it's John — he's the best fellow in the world. Jane (sighs). That's just it, Stubbie. I wish he weren't. THE GOODFELLOW. 21 That may sound ambiguous, but I guess you know what I mean,, (Hesitates.) It's his — his habits. Stubbie (cheerily). Oh, John doesn't drink enough, to hurt. I take a drink now and then myself. John's a good- fellow — take it from me, Jansie. Jane. There it is again — goodfellow. (Rising.) Oh, I do wish that every oody wouldn't keep calling him that. (Leans against table. With deep feeling.) Stubbie, when I first met John he was different. He never drank and he was — was in every way good folks' idea of all that is best in a young man. But gradually he began to change ; so slowly, perhaps, that none but my eyes noted the change. As his salary increased he was sought after and made the compan- ionship of pleasure-loving companions, who found him pli- able to their idea of good times. And now — now — (sobs.) Oh, I'm afraid! (Sinks in chair, face on arms, sobs.) Dora (springs to Jane^ throzvs a comforting arm around her). Jane, don't! Stubbie (rises and takes two or three quick steps before speaking). Oh, come now, Jansie; it's not as bad as all that. We'll talk to him. He thinks a lot of you, and — by gad, he's just got to listen to me; that's all. (Clinches -fist.) Jane (raising her head and glancing fearfully all about). With strong emotion). It's too late — too late! Stubbie (misunderstanding her). It's not too late. It isn't eight o'clock yet. I'll go and find him. (Starts for his overcoat and hat, but stops as Jane speaks.) Jane. No, no. Stubbie. You don't understand. It's too late after what — what happened last night. Stubbie. Last night? What about last night? Jane (gaspingly). The — the — robbery! (Dora and Stubbie start in shocked stir prise, Dora again laying a hand on Jane's shoulder.) Stubbie (.puifing zngorously on cigar in an effort to re- gain his composure). Say, what's all this about, anyway? Frrst you "pan" John for taking a few poor old drinks, and now you pull this emotional stuff about the robbery. (Slight pause, then commandingly.) Jansie, buck up! Raise your pretty eyes and look me in the face ! (Jane slowly raises 22 THE GOODFELLOW. her head, then as slowly permits her gaze to wander to his face.) That's the idea, Jansie. Now come clean! Jane {speaking each word in forced manner). They are pointing their fingers at John, and — and hinting that— that he — oh, I can't say it, Stubbie ! Dora {soothingly). There, there, dear. Stubbie {to Jane, growlingly). And you had better not say it — nor anyone else. Come now. Who's been pointing fingers at John? Jane. It's — it's in your own paper: "Only two knew the combination." And — and father said that — that one does not rob himself. (Stubbie fairly chokes zvith indignation and is about to burst into violent speech, when — ) Dora {quickly to Stubbie). Young man, don't you dare speak what's on your mind ! Stubbie {recovers with an effort. To Dora). Thanks. You were just in time. {To Jane, chidingly.) Jansie, I'm surprised at you. I am more than surprised. I'm — say, I'd rather have a million dollars than your mean disposition. You doubting John ! The idea ! Jane {eagerly and hopeftdly). Then you think John knows nothing of — Stubbie {interrupting). Sure thing. It's true that old Meadows claims that he and John were the only holders of the combination ; but, say, I wouldn't put anything by old Meadows — even to the robbing of himself. Jane {eagerly). And John? Have you seen him today? Stubbie {hesitatingly). Well, no. {Briskly.) But he'll show up tonight. It''s early yet. Dora {to Jane). Now you've worried enough. Stubbie knows everything, and he tells you that John is all right. Jane {donbtfidly) . Yes, dear, but — {to Stubbie.) What object would Mr. Meadows have in taking his own money, and then raising a hue and cry that he'd been robbed? Stubbie. Haven't those things been done before? Sure they have — thousands of times. But this will work out all right, just as the others have. John may dally with a drink now and then, but he's no thief — not on your life ! Jane {thankfully). Oh, Stubbie — thank you! THE GOODFELLOW. 23 Dora {trmmphantly , to Jane). There! Didn't Ttell you that Stubbie knew everything? (Jane smiles at Dora and Stubbie proudly throws out his chest.) Henry (off R. 3 E., calling). Jane! Jane. Yes, father. Henry (fretftdly) , I can't find the bread. Jane. It's in the bread box, father. Henry. Well, that ain't no place for it. When I eat I want it on the table. (Jane smiles, Dora frowns and Stubbie makes a grimace.) Mrs. M. (off L. 2 E., fretfully). Jane! (Dora and Stubbie sigh.) Jane (patiently). Yes, mother. Mrs. M. Have Dora and Stubbie gone yet? Jane. No, dear. Want something? Mrs. M. Oh, no ; I guess not. Dora (to Jane). Let's go in and cheer her up. Stubbie won't mind. (To StXibbie.) You won't, will you? Stubbie (gloomily). No — I won't mind. Jane. We won't be long. (Jane and Dora link arms, cross to L. and exeunt L. 2 E. Stubbie heaves a profotmd sigh, sits on edge of sofa, thoughtful manner, takes out a match and relights cigar.) Stubbie (after two or three thoughtful puffs). It's a darn funny proposition, just the same. I tried to kid my- self along and make her think that John was O. K., but — it's funny darn funny ! (Smokes thoughtfully, leaning forward with elbows on knees.) Hudson enters L. 3 E. He darts his quick characteristic glances about room, then advances silently and stands hack of Stubbie, watching him in silence for an instant, a half smile on his face. Hudson. Good evening, young man. Stubbie (startled, almost slides off sofa, recovers and zvhirls about to Hudson). Oh, howdy, Mr. Hudson. Thought I was alone, you know. Hudson (dryly). You were — until I came in. (Pulls cigar from pocket.) Don't mind if I stop here and join you 24 THE GOODFELLOW. in a smoke, do you? (Pulls a chair from under table and sits. ) Stubbie (cordially). No, not at all. Glad to have you. Hudson. Fond of smoking? Stubbie. Oh, yes ; but I'm not what you might call a passionate smoker. Hudson (chuckles and lights cigar). You're the news- paper young man, aren't you? Stubbie (breezily). Yes, sir. "Morning Growl." Larg- est circulation in the state, best advertising medium ; best sporting page in the Middle West ; best editorials ; foreign news unequalled, and — Hudson (interrupts with a chuckle). And the best re- porter. (Strokes eyebrow with finger and thumb. Stubbie notes the action and stares intently at Hudson. The latter ceases the stroking abruptly, bends forzvard and returns the stare for an instant.) Beg your pardon, young man; no offense at what I said, I trust? Stubbie (recovers composure). No, sir. I didn't hear what you said. I guess I was thinking — that's all. (Aside.) Confound it! What ails me? Hudson (after tzuo or three puffs). Did you write the story of last night's affair? Stubbie. The robbery? Yes, sir. Hudson. Rather a queer go. Stubbie. Why queer? Hudson. Rather unusual proceedings for a safe to be rifled by simply working" the combination. It's usually a case of dynamite. (Again strokes eyebrow.) Stubbie (again betraying interest m the action). Yes, safes have been blown open before I believe. (Pause.) Just what are you driving at, Mr. Hudson ? ¥LvT)S>oi^ (chiickles) . Not a blessed thing, young man. And now that I've answered your question, will you recip- rocate by answering one of mine? Stubbie. Go as far as you like, sir. Hudson. Just what kind of a man is this Banker Meadows ? THE GOODFELLOW. 25 Stubbie (smiles broadly). Before I answer, is this for publication or for your own private digest? Hudson (smiles in return). My own private digest. Stubbie. Well, if Richard Meadows has a friend in this town, nobody but Richard Meadows knows of it. Hudson. Dear, dear! Stubbie. He's the extreme limit in everything that's small, narrow and mean. He's the kind of a man that would lean up against fresh paint, so's he could get some- thing for nothing. Hudson (chuckles). Thank you. Your statement only verifies things derogatory I have already heard regarding him. (Impressively.) I have made no mistake! Stubbie (surprised). Hey? Hudson. The more I see of some folks, the more I like dogs. (Clears throat.) One other question, Mr. — (at loss for the name). Stubbie (helpftilly) . Stebbins, sir. Hudson. Mr. Stebbins, what sort of a young chap is this young Dawson? Stubbie (enthusiastically) . He's a prince. O. K. in every detail ! Hudson. Again I thank you, Mr. — (again at a loss). Stubbie. Say, just call me Stubbie; it's easier. Hudson (smiles). Very good; I'll try to remember. (Strokes eyehrozv, gazing dreamily into space for the while.) Stubbie (watching action with puckered brozv for an instant). Mr. Hudson, I don't believe I ever saw you be- fore until you came here to this house a short time ago, but somehow it strikes me quite forcibly that sometime, somewhere, we have met before. Hudson (with a slight start, then conceals his agitatian by stifling a yawn behind one hand). It's likely. This old world of ours isn't such a large place after all. Stubbie (still gazing steadily at Htjbsoisi) . Philadelphia, Boston, New York — some eastern city, I am almost positive. Hudson. Again I say it is quite likely. I have traveled extensively in m^y time. (Smiles indulgently.) 26 THE GOODFELLOW. Stubbie (shakes head doubtfully and then takes a deep breath). You've got me licked. I can't place you! Hudson {smiles). They say we all have our doubles. {Pause, during zvhich both busy themselves with their ci- gars in a preoccupied manner.) Mr. Stubbie — Stubbie. Stebbins, sir. Hudson. Um — yes ; my mistake. I'm going to take you into my confidence — if you don't mind. (Stubbie darts a quick look at him.) These people here — Mr. and Mrs. Mad- ison and — and Jane. I feel awfully sorry for them. {Puffs on cigar. Stubbie intently zvatches him. Pause.) It's a funny world, isn't it? Now there's Richard Meadows. Meanest man in town and has lots of money. Then there's the folks in this house. Good, honest souls and not a dollar to their names. {Sighs, then bends forward eagerly.) Mr. Stubbie — Stebbins, I mean. I should like extremicly well to do something for these poor souls — something handsome in the way of a cash gift. Stubbie {quickly). Not a chance in the world. They're too almighty proud. They'd resent it — that is, Miss Madi- son would. Hudson (slowly). Yes, you're right — she would. (Medi- tative pause.) See here, Stebbins. I've got a whole lot of money that is doing me absolutely no good, and it would bring peace and happiness to these folks here. Think up some way I can get them to relieve me of it, won't you? Stubbie (heartily). It's thundering good of you and all that, Mr. Hudson, but your proposition is out of the ques- tion. Hudson (disappointed). Pshaw! I had hoped for some- thing better from you. (Again strokes eyebrozv and again Stubbie keenly watches the action.) Well (rising-), I am going to keep an eye open. Something mig"ht develop. Wish, you'd do likewise, Mr. Stubbie. Stubbie (rising). Going to be in town much longer, Mr. Hudson ? Hudson (looking keenly at Stubbie), Can't tell. De- pends largely on circumstances. Why? THE GOODFELLOW. 27 Stubbie (confusedly). Oh — nothing — just curious ; that's all, I guess. Hudson bows and starts for door L. 3 E., but stops at C. as Jane and Dora enter from L. 2 E. Dora (looking back into room). Good night, Mrs. Madi- son. Mrs. M. (more cheerfully, off L. 2 E.). Good night, dear. You must come again. (Dora smiles and turns to- zvards Stubbie.) Jane (to Mrs. M.). I'll be in later to fix you for the night, dear. (Turns frotn door.) Hudson (to Jane and Dora). Young ladies. (Bows.) Dora. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Hudson ! Hudson. Nicely, thank you. (To Jane, taking an en- velope from an inside pocket and extending it to her.) Here's something for you. A little advance on my board. (She takes envelope hesitatingly.) Don't be backward, Miss Madison. I expect to be with you for some time to come, and the money will be safer in your hands than mine. Good night. (Bozvs and exits L. 3 E. Jane and Dora watch him in amazement until he is hidden from their view. . Stubbie, on sofa, sits, with elbows on knees, staring dreamily into space.) Dora (turning and coming to back of sofa. To Jane). What a peculiar old man. Jane (at table). He is eccentric — very! (Holds envel- ope up curiously.) Dora. Well, why don't you open it? (Goes close to Jane.) Jane (smiles). A Avoman never opens an envelope with- out first giving it a thorough overlooking. (Comedy busi- ness of turning envelope over and over trying to discover its contents by holding it up to the light.-) Dora (impatiently). Oh, do hurry. I just can't wait! Jane (smiling) . All right. Miss Curiosity. (Tears open envelope, extracts a bill and holds it up. Breathlessly). A hundred dollar bill ! 28 THE GOODFELLOW. Dora {echoes in awe stricken tone). A hundred dollar bill ! Jane {glancing at door L. 3 E., then at hill). I mustn't take this. Dora. Well, he gave it to you. I don't see the harm — and he'll eat it up eventually. Jane. I know, dear. {Looks doubtfully at hill.) It's a real temptation, but I've no right to accept this much. {Pause, then.) No. I shall give it back. {Crosses rapidly to L. and exits, calling.) Oh, Mr. Hudson! Mr. Hudson! Dora {to Stubbie, ivho has meanwhile heen sitting on sofa, elhows on knees, smoking and absorbed in thought). Stubbie dear, what do you think of it? Stubbie {rousing with a start). Hey? Dora. I asked you what you thought of it. Stubbie. I'm blessed if I know. Sometimes I think I've got him, then the next minute he gets away from me. Dora. Say, what are you talking about? {At sofa.) Stubbie. Hudson, of course. It isn't to be supposed that you have noticed that peculiarity of his, but I have ; and I can't recall where, I have seen that same thing before, and — Dora {placing hand over his mouth, then withdrawing it and kissing him- on the lips. Soothingly). There, there, honey-boy. Don't rave any more. Stubbie. I'm not raving, dear. {Earnestly.) I'm trying to tell you about this Hudson chap, and the habit he has of — see, it's like this. {Strokes eyebrozv in imitation of Hudson.) Dora {laughs gaily). The idea! Why should a little thing like that have such a tremendous effect on you? Stubbie. I know, and I don't know. Sometime, somx- where I've seen someone addicted to that same habit. Con- found it ! I suppose it is a trifling matter at that — but I'm dippy with the idea that this Hudson chap has figured in some past. episode in my newspaper experience, and I won't rest easy till I dig him out of the past and connect him with it. THE GOODFELLOW. 29 Dora (laughs lightly). Well, here's luck. But the hun- dred dollar bill? Stubbie. What hundred dollar bill? Dora. Oh, I forgot. I thought you knew. Mr. Hudson gave Jane a hudred dollar bill just now — advance on his board. Stubbie. Anything suspicious about that? Dora. Well, it's rather unusual for one to pay their board that far ahead, isn't it? Stubbie (dryly). Yes, it would be for me. I have plenty to do to pay mine a week in advance. Enter Jane^ excited manner, from L. 3 E. Jane (excitedly). He's not in his room — he's gone. Dora. Gone? (Whirling about, facing Jane.) Stubbie (rising). Who's gone? Jane (at C). Mr. Hudson. Stubbie. Gone where? Jane. I don't know. He must have gone out through the window. Stubbie. Well, what do you care? He just paid a hun- dred in advance, didn't he? Dora (sternly). Stubbie, don't be funny. Jane (nervously) . Everything and everybody seems out of joint lately. I can't understand it. (Agitated manner.) Hurried footsteps sound off C, then enter Martha, R. C, closing door quickly after her and standing in listening attitude for an instant. The others, zvith hack to audience, stand in tense attitudes, waiting her explanation. Martha (breathing heavily, slowly comes from door to the table and leans against it for support. With a startled glance at the door). Oh, my, what a dreadful adventure! Stubbie (defensiz^ely placing himself betzveen her and the door). What is it. Miss Peck? (Jane and Dora stand C, frightened.) Martha (attempting to regain her breath). A man — he followed me when I went out — to go to the church — and I — I wanted to make sure he was — was following me, so I 30 THE GOODFELLOW. didn't go — to the church — went down town instead and he — he followed all the way — and he's out there now. (Stub- bie starts for door.) Dora (pleadingly). Don't go, Stubbie. It's dark out there. Jane (to Martha). Perh.aps it was Mr. Hudson. (Stubbie at door.) Martha (with a sniff). Huh! Don't you suppose I know him? Stubbie (opens door cautiously, looks off R. and L., then closes door again and turns to the women. Calmly). No- body there now. (His actions, however, denote that he has seen someone outside.) Jane (nervously). I'll — I'll call father. (Starts for L.) Martha (disdainfully). Humph !* Please don't. Your father warned me against such a thing, and I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that for once in his life he was right. (Goes to door R. 2 E., turns.) I'll go in my own room, pull down the shades, lock the door, and the Lord have mercy on the man who dares break in. (Exit R.2E.) Stubbie. Amen! (Laughs.) Dora (sternly). Stubbie Stebbins! I 'm ashamed of you. Jane (who has heen pacing nervously R. to L.). Oh,, what does it all mean? Stubbie (to Jane, lightly). It means that I am in fine condition to hide a couple of g'lasses of cider and some apples under my vest, and I hereby suggest that you make yourself a committee of one to entice said cider and apples from yon kitchen — and then I'll show you what it all means. (Playfully puts both hands on Jane's shoulders and shoves her through door R. 3 E. Then he turns to Dora^ puts a hand on her hack and shoves her to R. 3 E., stops her at threshold. Tensely and in a subdued tone.) Listen. Two men are watching the house. I'm going outside and scout. You go in the kitchen and jolly Jane. Scat now and be good. (Shoves her through door R. 3 E., then runs, grabs hat, turns up coat collar and exits on the run door L. 3 E.) THE GOODFELLOW. 31 There is a brief pause. Dora is heard off R., humming the chorus of some popular song. She hums about eight bars, then John appears at window and peers cautiously in. He gazes in an instant, then opens door R. C, enters quickly and stands motionless with back to door, glancing nervously about room. Dora ceases her humming, Mrs. M. {off L.). Jane! (John starts nervously. She zvaits for an instant.) Jane! Did someone just come in? (Gives utterance to a prolonged, shuddering sigh, half groan. John shudders visibly. Slozvly draws gloves off.) Enter Jane R. 3 E. She carries a large dish filled zvith apples to table and sets it dozvn. Then turns as if to return to kitchen and discovers John at door. She recoils in sur- prise, then springs toward him with glad cry. Jane. Oh, John ! (He opens his arms and gathers her in a close embrace). Oh, John, I'm so glad you've come. (He loosens his clasp and gently thrusts her from him to his arm's length.) John. My darling! Jane. Why, John, how strange you act. You're not a bit glad* to see me. John (huskily). Glad to see you! Just see how glad I am. (Drazus her to him.) Jane (slyly drazving azvay). You're just in time. (Points to table.) We were just about to have some apples and cider. Dora is drawing the cider and Stubbie — (looks around). Why, Stubbie's gone! John (very nervous manner). Jane, dear, listen. I'm sorry- — awfully sorry, but I can't stop. (Twisting hat ner- vously between both hands and glancing agitatedly about.) Jane (bewildered). Sorry? Can't stop? Oh, John, what is the — you are in trouble. (Emotional business.) John (glances fearfully about). Yes, dear, I'm afraid I am — in deep trouble. (Again casting uneasy glances about room, then drazifs nearer to her and speaks in lozv, tense tone.) Last night twenty thousand dollars and some valu- able papers were taken from the big safe in Mr. Meadows' private office. (Hesitates, then goes on rapidly.) 1 — I have 32 THE GOODFELLOW. been accused of the theft, and— and a warrant is out for my arrest — ■ Jane (interrupting with a stifled cry). John! You — you accused? (He bows head.) Look at me, John! Look at me and tell me that they lie ! Tell me you are innocent. You are innocent, aren't you, dear ? John (slowly raises his head and attempts to meet her gaze, then his head turns and droops, as if he were ashamed to meet her fixed look). I can't — I don't know. Jane (agitated surprise). You — don't — know? (Regains composure with an effort.) Surely, dear, you must know. John (hoarsely). I tell you I don't know. The money is gone — only Mr. Meadows and I knew the combination. I — I was not myself last night. I — (hangs head in shame.) Jane (sadly and zvith a half sob). Oh, John ! You were — John (interrupting fiercely). Don't you say it. Yes, I was — was drunk. So much so that I don't know what I did. Li the condition I was in, anything could have happened. Jane (eagerly). But, surely, the very fact that you — you were in that condition is an alibi, dear, and must prove that you never took the money. You haven't the money, have you? (He shakes his head in a vigorous denial.) The men you were with can testify that you were with them. You are safe. John (starts guiltily as a sound from without is heard, then he speaks hurriedly) . Listen, dear. I was alone for sometime last night. There's no chance for an alibi. I've thought it all out. I must go — run like the thief that per- haps I am and hide until my innocence is established. (A low whistle sounds off R. He starts to go.) Jane. John! No. Don't go! It will be harder for you if you do. John. No, no. (She grabs his arm, desperately trying to hold him.) I tell you I must go. Jane. Wait — here. (Quickly takes the hundred dollar bill from the bosom of her dress and presses it in his hand, shoves him toward door R. C.) John (at door, turns and kisses her, then looks at bill). Jane! I can't take this. (Extends it to her.) THE GOODFELLOW. 33 Jane (pushing him away. Fiercely). Go! John (opens door cautiously, peers out, then quickly closes door again). Too late! They are watching. Jane (starts for L.). Come — this way, John. They shan't have you now. (At door L. 3 E.) This way — out the window. I'll try and hold them back as long as I can. (John kisses her lightly, then springs through window. She stands for an instant, one hand pressed to her heart, listen- ing intently, turns and comes slowly to C.) Enter Dora R. 3 E., carrying pitcher and drinking glasses. Sets them on table. Jane stands C, looking at L. 3 E. Dora (cheerily). Here we are, dearie. (Looks at Jane, then about room in a quick, startled manner) . Why, what's the matter — and where's Stubbie? (Jane does not move. Loud commanding knock is heard at door R. C. Both girls whirl in affright and face door. A pause, then the knock is repeated, but louder. Jane starts slozvly for door. Dora to Jane, tremulously). Don't go — please don't. Jane (at door, to person outside). Who — who is there? Bacon (outside C). Open in the name of the law! (Jane slowly opens the door and then shrinks to one side. Dora stands at table, wide-eyed with astonishment.) Enter Bacon^ darting a swift, keen look about the room. His right hand is thrust deep in his overcoat pocket as if it clutched a weapon. He surveys the room again, turns to door, opens it and calls cls if to men outside. Bacon (looking L.). Murphy, stay where you are. (Looks R.) Halligan, keep your eyes open and shoot first, then ask questions. (Closes door, then turns and touches his hat to Jane in a stiff military salute. Brusquely.) You are Miss Madison? (Jane bozus head.) I am Detective Bacon, police headquarters. I have a warrant for the arrest of one John Dawson. Know him? (Jane again bows, then puts one hand on heart. Dora gives utterance to a cry of surprise. He looks from one girl to the other.) Thought you knew him. Trot him out ! Dora (to Bacon). You are a brute! 34 THE GOODFELLOW. Jane {with a quick, meaning glance at Dora. Then to Bacon). Mr. Dawson is not here, sir; really, he isn't. {She hesitates, noticeably playing for time.) Bacon {sharply). Come; don't try to stall. There ain't a chance in the world of him gettin' away. I have the house surrounded. Jane {with forced calmness). I am not attempting- to deceive you. Mr. Dawson is not here. {To Dora_, as she is about to speak.) Hush, dear; it's all right. Bacon. Humph ! We've tracked him here. I'll get him. {Rapidly crosses to door L. 2 E.) What's in here? Jane {zuith dignity). My mother's room, sir. Bacon. Well, I'll take your word on this room. {Crosses quickly to door R. 2 E.) And what's in h.ere? (Dora smiles. ) Jane. Miss Peck's room, sir. Bacon {suspiciously). Never heard of her; maybe 'tis, maybe 'tisn't. {Raps smartly on door.) MARTB.A {within, sharply) . Well, what's wanted ? {Both girls smile.) Bacon {taken aback). I'm lookin' for one John Dawson. Martha. Well, if you think it a healthy job, you just try coming in here and looking for him — that's all. Bacon {turning from door with a chuckle). Nothin' doin'. I ain't flirtin' with no spell of sickness. {Goes to door R. 3 E. It is open and he looks in, then turns to Jane.) Now you gals will please stay right where you are. I'm goin' to take a peek in the kitchen here. {Turns to enter room but his exit is blocked by Hudson, who has stolen up zvhile Bacon has been addressing the girls.) Hudson {suavely). Good evening, sir. Bacon {recoiling a step. Growlingly). Who the devil are you? Hudson. I? Oh, my name is Hudson. Old Man Hud- son some folks are kind enough to call me. And you, sir? Bacon. Officer of the law. One side, please. Hudson {not moving). Dear, dear! An officer of the law. How very interesting! Business or social call, sir? Bacon. Business, you old fool! Get out of the way. THE GOODFELLOW. 35 (Grabs Hudson and thriists him to one side, then exists R. 3 E.) Hudson {looking from Jane to Dora, pensively). Dear, dear! He is such a rough person. {Goes quickly to Jane. Cautious tone.) It's all right, my dear. A little delay will mean much to your sweetheart. Hush ! {Puts a warning ■finger on his lips, then goes quickly to sofa and sits in pensive attitude.) Enter Bacon, R. 3 E. Bacon (savagely) . Nothin' there but an empty kitchen and an old man asleep in a side room. (Darts a quick glance about, crosses quickly to door L. 3 E.) Any more old maids or darn fool old men in here? Jane (nervously). No — no, sir. That's the — the parlor, hall and stairway. (Clasping her hands nervously. Dora also betrays marked agitation.) Hudson (to Bacon). You're wasting time, sir. There's no one in there. Bacon (snappishly to Hudson). Mind your own busi- ness. Hudson (dryly). Thank you — I am. (sighs pensively.) Dear, dear ! (Bacon is about to exit L. 3 E., when Stubbie suddenly bumps into him and forces him backward a couple of steps. Dora gives a cry of glad surprise at sight of Stubbie.) Stubbie (to Bacon). Oh, I beg pardon. (Suddenly appearing to recognize Bacon.) Well, if it isn't my friend Ham. How are you, Ham- (Puts out a hand.) Bacon (snappishly). Bacon — not Ham, and you know darn well it's Bacon. (Trying to shove Stubbie to one side.) Get out of the way. Stubbie (zvith mock earnestness). Now, don't shove. If you get rough with me, I'll call an officer. Bacon (attempts to shove Stubbie to one side, but Stub- bie remains firm on his feet). See here, Stebbins; you're flirtin' with a stiff pimch in the jaw. You know me and you know that I get what I go after. I 'm after a certain party and I'm goin' to get him — see? Now stand to one side be- 36 THE GOODFELLOW. fore you go out here on a lovely stretcher. (Displays the handle of his revolver from top of overcoat pocket.) Stubbie (laughingly). Oh, there's no need of any gun play, Ham. I'm not in the humor for stopping bullets to- night. (Still blocks doorway, playfully slapping Bacon on shoulder.) Dora (pleadingly). Stubbie — please! Jane. Yes, Stubbie, please let Mr. Bacon continue his search. Hudson. Yes, Stubbie, it's time the nice young police officer was home and in bed. (Chuckles.) Stubbie (laughs, steps to one side). All right, Mr. Ham. Go as far as you like. You're the great little detective ! (Bacon gives Stubbie a savage glance and exits L. 3 E. Stubbie bestows a knowing wink on the others and puts a finger on lips.) Jane (zvhisperingly, to Stubbie). Has he — has he gone? Stubbie (grinning). Surest thing you know, Jansie. (Jane and Dora exhibit relief.) Hudson (drawlingly) . You know, I am much afraid that I have assisted in some kind of a law-breaking act? Bacon re-enters L. 3 E. Bacon (stingingly) . You're a lot of smart ducks, you are. But it won't get you anywhere. My man's been here all right — here's his glove. (Holds up a kid glove. Jane and Dora start in surprise.) Stubbie (innocently, reaching for glove). Thanks. My glove. I wondered where I lost it. Bacon (drazving it avuay). Oh, no, you don't. I'll just keep this as a little souvenir of the occasion. (Goes quickly to door R. C, then turns.) I want to tell you folks some- thin', and it ain't a funny story. There's such a thing as aidin' an' abetin' a criminal. I wouldn't do it if I were you. Good night! (Pretends to exit, then turns and looks at halltree. To Stubbie, pointing at his overcoat.) Stebbins, is that your overcoat? Stubbie. Yes, Ham, it am. Bacon (goes quickly to it and draws out Stubbie's gloves . THE GOODFELLOW. Z7 from a pocket. He looks at the single glove in his hand and holds it up.) So this is your glove is it, Stebbins? {Compares glove with Stubbie's, which are a bright yel- low, while the single glove is a more subdued color. Laughs.) I ain't much of a great detective, maybe, but here's one mystery I solve quick. Mr. Stebbins, you're a great little liar! (Bacon stands near halltree, holding pair of gloves in one hand and single glove in other, smiling triumphantly. Stubbie L. C, crestfallen attitude. Hudson on sofa, lights cigar. Jane and Dora, arms about each other, R., looking at Bacon, frightened expression.) Quick Curtain. Act II. Scene: Same as Act I, except that dining table is now covered with a red cloth and is bare of dishes, etc. At rise Jane is discovered at window, gating anxiously off L. Mrs. M. is seated in rocking chair, R. All the time her mother is on the stage Jane endeavors to conceal her terrible anxiety from her, but betrays it to the audience at various times. Mrs. M. {as curtain is well up). Jane! Jane {without change of position). Yes, mother, dear. Mrs. M., You're keeping something back from me. What is it? Jane {turning from window and striving to appear care free). Why, mother. What makes you think I am? {Forced laugh. ) Mrs. M. I know there is something . I can feel it. Come. Why don't you confide in me? Jane {now at her mother s side, drops on knee and cud- dles up to her). You dear old mother, I have nothing to confide — except that everything is going along swimmingly, the two boarders help out wonderfully, and — {turns face away) — and that is all I have to confide. 38 THE GOODFELLOW. Mrs. M. (taking Jane's face between her hands, turning it so that she can look into Jane's eyes). My child, you are worried. I can see it in your pretty eyes — and there are lines about them. What is it, dearie? 'Fess up. Jane {smiling up into her mother's face). I repeat; I have nothing to 'fess up. Mrs. M. How is it between you and John? Jane {trying to conceal her agitation). John has been — {hesitates) — has been very good of late, mother. Mrs. M. {s ear chin gly) . Was he here last evening? Jane {slowly). Yes — just for a few moments. Mrs. M. I'm so glad. John is a good boy. I like him very much, and — and you will have someone to look out for you after I am gone. Jane {buries face in her mother's lap, while her shoul- ders heave with convtdsive sobs). Mother! Mrs. M. {patting Jane's head). There, there, child! {Sighs.) I do wish I could do something to help out. Jane {raising her head. Tenderly). My darling mother! You've "helped out" all your life. When I was ''little Jen- nie" you cuddled me, nursed me, deprived yourself of com- forts so that I might have more than my share ; took upon yourself all the disagreeable tasks ; accepted all the worry and strife with a smile on your dear kind face. And now— now that I am "big" Jane, it's only fair that I should "help out," and Fm going to do it. {'Draws herself proudly erect.) Mother, you've brought to mind all the things you've done for me — all your noble life! And you smiled as you did them. You had troubles, loads of them, yet you smiled through them all. You have set me an example, dear brave mother, and I shall profit by it. See ? I am going to smile and be brave, just as you did. {Stands zvith uplifted face, lighted up with a szueet, sad smile. Picture for a moment.) Mrs. M, {with a wistful smile). My own big, brave Jane! {Sighs.) But I'm dreadfully afraid I haven't "smiled through it all" lately, dear. I have been woefully cross and impatient, I know. {More cheerfully.) But you have also set me an example. From now on I'm going to be real good. THE GOODFELLOW. 39 Jane (impulsively). You darling! As if you could be anything else. (Kisses her.) Enter Martha, R. 2 E. She is attired in a rather fan- tastic negligee costume. She carries a piece of fancy sew- ing, crosses to sofa, sits stiffly on its edge and begins to ply needle diligently. Mrs. M. Good morning, Miss Peck. I trust you had a good night's rest. (Jane crosses szviftly to back of sofa.) Martha (plying needle and not looking at Mrs. M.). I did, and I didn't. (Sews.) You know when one's nerves once get on edge, it's dreadful hard to coax 'em back to a normal state again. (Pause.) Now, last night I — Jane (pinches her shoulder). What a pretty piece of work you have there. Martha (looking wonderingly up into Janets face). What say? Jane (zvith a significant gesture. Aside). Mother must not know. Martha (comprehensively) . I'm so glad you admire it, dear. (Sighs.) Needle work, to me, is a positive recrea- tion. Some young women appear to have nothing to do nowadays but gallivant about with young men. (Impres- sively.) Not I! Whenever I feel myself getting lonesome, I take up my fancy work, and, presto, I am transported into the realms of perfect bliss. (Pause, while she plies needle.) It isn't because I'm not sought after, goodness knows ! Now, just last night— Jane (interrupting) . You enjoyed yourself at the church supper? Martha (testily). Am I to be permitted to relate what occurred last evening, or am I not? (Petulantly plys needle.) Mrs. M. (sighs). How I wish that I could go to the dear old church again. Jane ( ^^7/ behind Martha, shakes an admonishing -finger at her mother). Now, mother, remember your promise. No sighs. (Mrs. M. forces a smile.) Miss Peck, I'm quite sure, has plenty of male admirers, mother. Mr. Hudson has told me repeatedly how much he admires her. 40 THE GOODFELLOW. Martha (with a sniff of contempt). Humph! It's little / care which way the wind blows with him. I don't like that man! (Pause.) Besides, he's too old — much too old for me. (Coquettish business. Mrs. M. and Jane smile.) Jane (warmly). Mr. Hudson is a very agreeable gentle- man ; also a very charitable one. No person ever came to him in want and went away empty handed. Martha. All the same, I don't like him— talk all you wish. Henry puts head in door R. 3 E. Henry (to Jane^ in cautious tone). Jane! Jane. Yes, father. Henry (same cautious tone). Has Hudson gone out yet? Jane. No. He's still up in his room. Why? Henry (withdrawing head and speaking off stage). Oh, nothing. I'll go get some more coal, I guess. Martha (dryly). Your father is cultivating industrious habits this morning. (Change of tone.) As I was saying, I don't like Mr. Hudson (breaks off quickly and glances about at door R. 3 E. In wondering tone.) Now, will you please tell me where the connection is between "Is Mr. Hudson out?" and "I guess I'll get some more coal?" Jane (laughingly). You musn't mind father. yiAWY'R A (resuming work. Scornfully). Humph! I don't —any more than I mind any man. • Enter Hudson, L. 3 E. He scans the room carefully as is his custom. Carries his overcoat over one arm, hat in hand, also his heavy cane. Hudson (to Martha). Good morning, Miss Peck. Good morning, ladies. Nice morning. Martha (without turning. Aside). 'Twas before you came in. (Jane and Mrs. M. smile a greeting at him.) Hudson (comes to dining table, lays hat and overcoat on it, leans his cane against it. To Martha). Miss Peck, could I have a few moments of your time? (Martha turns slowly and favors him with a haughty stare.) Jane (hastily). I'll help mother in her room. (Starts.) Hudson (quickly to Jane). No, no ; nothing of a private THE GOODFELLOW. 41 nature. Stay right where you are. {To Martha.) I am informed, Miss Peck, that you are largely interested in church affairs and charitable work. Martha (stiffly). I am. Hudson. In that case, I believe you can be of great as- sistance to me. (She stares. He seats himself at table ^ pulls a check hook and fountain pen from pocket). I am, as perhaps you know, also working along those lines. Being blessed with an abnormal accumulation of money — or cursed with it, depends on one's point of view — I desire your co- operation in a charitable distribution of some of my lucre. Martha (astounded). I help you spend your money? Hudson (with check hook open and pen poised). If you please, Miss Peck. Name the worthy institutions or the individuals, and I will do my humble share. Martha (still astonished). Mr. Hudson! Really, this is quite bewildering. (She turns for help from one lady to the other, hut they only smile and point to him.) Hudson (raises pen in right hand with a commanding gesture). In the name of charity. Miss Peck! Jane (to Hudson^ smilingly). You must give her time to catch her fleeting breath, sir. Hudson. Certainly, but — (pulls out watch and glances at the time) I have several appointments this morning. (Restores watch to pocket. Then to Martha.) Now, Miss Peck — if you please. Martha (eagerly). Well, there's the Grace Episcopal Church. We need many, many things. Y{\]T)SO^ (writing check). Grace Episcopal Church. We must see to it that we give them many, many things. Martha. And our pastor — he's such a splendid man ! Hudson (still writing). Good salary, I presume? Martha. He receives a dollar and a half a day, sir. (Pause.) Do you think that a man can be a Christian on a dollar and a half a day? Hudson (carefully tearing off check). On a dollar and a half a day a man can't be anything else but a Christian. (Lays check on table.) Now then, whom or what? 42 THE GOODFELLOW. Martha (rapidly and enumerating on fingers). Well, there's the Amalgamated Society for the Prevention of Cru- elty to Cats; the Universal Society for the Promulgation and Education of Profane Parrots ; the Uplifting, Welfare and Eternal Home for Stray Dogs; the Anti-Cruelty to English Sparrows League; the Why-Swat-the-Fly Associa- tion of the United States and Great Britain; the Society for the Prevention of Manufacture of Inhuman Mouse Traps; th.e Antiseptic League for the Protection of the Unsuspecting Mosquito; the — Hudson (interrupting). Just a moment. Miss Peck. Isn't it only right that a human being should have the same chance to live and prosper as the various animals and insects you have mentioned ? (Martha is dumbfounded. ]ank and her mother smile.) ) Mrs. M. (gently, to Hudson). Miss Peck means v^ell, sir. Hudson (warmly). Undoubtedly, Mrs. Madison. But I can't see my money go that way. (To Martha.) Now, please try and think of two or three institutions, societies or leagues that exist for the welfare of mankind — (dryly) if there are any. Martha (stiffly). The Union Benevolent Hospital — very worthy institution, sir. Hudson. Very good, (j^n'f^^.) Jane. Yes, they do grand work, Mr. Hudson. (He nods and zvrites.) You are evidently not ambitious to die rich, Mr. Hudson. Hudson (dryly and still writing). I am not ambitious to die in any position, Miss Madison. (Tears off check and lays it with the other on table.) One more. Miss Peck, please, and then I shall ask one of the other ladies to name one. (Pen poised.) Martha (meditative pause). You wouldn't care to sub- scribe to the Universal Suffrage Movement, would yotl? (Mrs. M. and Jane langh.) Hudson (smiles). To be frank with you — no! (Strokes eyebrow.) Martha (stiffly). Oh, very well. Then perhaps you might do something for the local Y. M. C. A. • THE GOODFELLOW. 43 Hudson (writes). Rushville Young Men's Christian As- sociation. Very good. (Tears off check and lays it with others. To Mrs. M.) Now, ma'am, it's your turn. Mrs. M. Suppose we say a little something for the Rush.- ville Orphan Asylum. Hudson (.$'7w7^^). Capital! (Writes.) Rushville Orphan Asylum. (Tears off check, then lays it with others, restores check book and pen to pockets, rises, goes to Martha and extends checks to her.) There you are. Miss Peck, and be- lieve me, I'm deeply obligated to you for your suggestions. I shall rely on you to see that the financial heads of the institutions named receive these checks. Martha (rising, bowing in old-fashioned manner and taking checks). Mr. Hudson, I am deeply honored by the trust you repose in my suggestions, and I heartily thank you for myself and in the name of those you have so kindly remembered. Hudson (bows, returns to table, picks up coat, hat and cane). Miss Peck, the pleasure is all mine. (To Mrs. M.) Mrs. Madison, I thank you, also. (To Jane, holding out his coat.) Miss Madison, this coat is rather heavy for an old man. Jane (springing to him eagerly). Why, of course. (Takes coat and holds it for him to get into. Martha goes to Mrs. M. and stands in pantomime conversation with her.) ■ Hudson (to Jane in a guarded aside). Have you heard anything this morning — about last night? Jane (as she helps on zmth coat, guardedly) . No; not a word. I am so anxious. Mr. Hudson, I meant to return that bill you gave me last evening, but — but I couldn't find you, and now — Hudson (interrupting soothingly and going toward door R. C). Tut, tut! Everything will come out all right. I'm going down town now, and if anything new develops, I'll get word to you. (Takes her hand and bows low over it.) Goodby, and — God bless you ! (Exits R. C, turning L. and passing window, his cane tapping on stone zualk at regular intervals. Jane returns to the two women.) 44 THE GOODFELLOW. Enter Henry from R. 3 E., overcoat and hat on. He sneaks cautiously across to door R. C. unseen by the others, and exits, following Hudson^ whose cane still sounds, but gradually dies away in the distance. ' Martha {holding up checks and scanning them closely for the first time. Reads first one aloud.) ''Union Benevo- lent Hospital, $2,500." (Astounded.) My soul! (Looks at checks again.) There must be some mistake. (Scans it.) No ; it's quite plain. $2,500. Mrs. M. What a magnificent donation ! Jane. And from a stranger, too, almost. Martha (scanning second check, then reads it aloud). "Young Men's Christian Association, $2,500." (Breath- lessly.) Another twenty-five hundred dollars! (Looks all about room.) And he boards here! (Goes to sofa.) Jane (laughs). Yes, and appears to enjoy it. Martha (at sofa, reads third check aloud). "Rushville Grace Episcopal Church" (hesitates and scans figures closely again. Gaspingly.) $5,000!" (Drops weakly back onto sofa. ) Jane (springing to Martha, taking check from her hand and looking at it closely, then in awed tone). "Five thou- sand dollars !" (Looks all about the room much the same as Martha did.) And a man with that much money to give away, actually lives in our house. Mrs. M. (weakly extends check to Jane. Faintly). See what this one calls for. I'm — I'm too dizzy to read straight. Jane (takes check and reads impressively). "Rushville Orphan Asylum, $5,000!" (Martha drops limply against back of sofa.) Mrs. M. (delightedly). What a noble man! Martha (straightening tip, snappishly). That's what I've said right along, but I couldn't get anyone to agree with me. Jane (giving Martha check, smilingly). We shall never dispute you again. Miss Peck. Martha (impressively). Fifteen thousand dollars ! Just think of it! THE GOODFELLOW. 45 Mrs. M. (earnestly). Oh, I'm so happy! Jane. We all are, mother dear — (sharp knock sounds on door R. C. Jane's expression undergoes a sudden change and she stands in tense, listening attitude for an instant.) Mrs. M. (to Jane). See who it is, dear. Jane (with an effort recovers composure). Yes, dear. (With another effort she summons all her will power, crosses to door and opens it.) Enter Bacon_, R. C. Bacon (touching hat stiffly, then smiles maliciously and closes door). Th.oug-ht Fd drop in, and — Jane (interrupting and signifying with a gesture that she doesn't want the others to hear). Oh, yes. You carae about the sewing machine. Just a moment, sir. (Turning to Martha.) Miss Peck, would you mind taking mother into your room for a few moments? Martha (rising with alacrity). Certainly — glad to. (Jane and Martha assist Mrs. M. to door R. 2 E.) Jane (kissing Mrs. M.). Miss Peck will show you all her new fancy work, dear. (Mrs. M. smiles.) Martha (to Jane). Fm too excited to talk fancy work now. Fifteen thousand dollars ! My, that's a lot of money to have in your hand all at one time. (Places an arm ten- derly about Mrs. M.'s waist and they exeunt R. 2 E.) Jane (seeing that door is closed tightly, then turning to Bacon). Now, sir? Bacon {clearing throat in an embarrassed manner). Well, F'il tell you. When I left here last night I was pretty sore. But after I "threw the pinch into him," I — Jane (excitedly). You — you found him? Bacon. Surest thing you know — just a few minutes ago. (Jane betrays strong agitation and he hesitates before speaking.) As I say, I was pretty sore last night at you folks for blocking my game, and I swore Fd get him, and when I did I'd come back here and give you the merry ha-ha. (Pauses and looks about the room, then sadly shakes his head and goes on in kinder tone.) But, somehow, I 46 THE GOODFELLOW. ain't got the heart to. {Takes off Hat and twirls it ner- vously between his hands.) Jane (stands an instant with head bowed on breast, strong emotion shaking her body, partially recovers her composure, raises head and looks him proudly in the face.) He is innocent! Bacon {dryly). Yes, ma'am; that's what they all say. But everything looks bad and all against him. Jane. You have no evidence against him— nothing but suspicion. Bacon. Well, it ain't for me to say, I only done my duty. But it looks bad for him. He skipped ; he won't talk, and when we searched him at the station we digs up a hun- dred dollar bill. Jane {starts guiltily, then quickly). Is h.e guilty because he was found to have a hundred dollar bill in his posses- sion? Bacon {cautiously) . It ain't for me to say, ma'am. The Captain says that a big lot of the loot was in one hundred dollar gold certificates; that's all. (Janets right hand goes to her heart and she staggers backward a step or two. He moves toward door R. C, turns.) Captain Richards' com- pliments, ma'am, and he asks that you be at his office at two this afternoon. Jane {surprised). I? At Captain Richards' office? Bacon. Yes, ma'am. Just wants to ask you a couple of questions. Jane {firmly). Very well, sir. I shall be there promptly. Bacon. Thank you, ma'am. {Turns to depart, stops, ■fingers hat nervously and hesitates before speaking.) I heard the old maid dame ravin' somethin' about fifteen thou- sand dollars just a minute ago. (Jane bows head.) Course it ain't none of my business, but bein' a detective, I'm just naturally curious. Jane {with calm assurance) . The fifteen thousand dol- lars she had reference to has no bearing on the — the case you are interested in, sir. Bacon {keenly looking into her face; she does not flinch). I guess you ain't lyin', ma'am. Besides, I know this ain't THE GOODFELLOW. 47 no hang-out for crooks. If I thought it was I'd back the wagon up in a holy minute. But I'll have to report the old maid's chatter to the Captain — that's my duty. But you ain't in on the deal; I'll bet my life you aint. Anythin' I can do for you, bingo {snaps fingers) and it's done. Now, don't you git discouraged. I've seen sicker cats than this git well. Goodby. See you at two. {Exits R. C, hut not passing window.) Jane (stands for an instant after his exit, facing door, turns and comes slowly down to C. Stands with uplifted face for a moment as if breathing a prayer). God give me strength to fight my fight! {Turns and paces hack and forth from R. to L., as if struggling to ohtain command over herself.) Stubbie and Dora pass windozv, then Stubbie raps on door R. C. and opens it without zvaiting for Jane to respond. He looks off R., supposedly at the departing detective. Dora looking over his shoulder, then he turns to Jane. Stubbie {to Jane). Has that near detective been hand- ing you any rough language? (Dora slips hy him and comes to Jane in a consoling manner.) Jane. No, Stubbie; he was very nice. Stubbie {coming in and closing door after him). Humph ! I can't picture him being very nice any way you take him. He told you? Jane. About John? Yes. {Sadly hows head, raises it again. Cheerfully.) Mr. Bacon told me not to be discour- aged — and I am going to follow his advice. Dora {kisses Jane zuarmly). That's the way, dearie. I love you for 'those words. {Kisses her again.) Stubbie {to Jane). I heard about the arrest and hur- ried here to tell you, but Mr. Sherlock Holmes beat me to it. Dora {taking off hat and jacket). Yes — and we met on the way here. Stubbie {grinning) . She means she met me — not Sher- lock Holmes. But I haven't any time to linger, girls. Duty calls and I must beat it. The hungry public is waiting to devour the delicacies which will be served to them in our 48 THE GOODFELLOW. afternoon edition — and I am the chef ! (Starts for door R. C.) Dora (sternly). Stubbie Stebbins! (He stops.) Don't you dare go! Stubbie. Hey? Oh, say, I've got a lot of work, you know — the paper can't wait. Dora (stamping a foot angrily). I don't care. You must choose between me and that horrid paper — once and for all. (Pouts.) Jane (laughs). There's a storm brewing. I'm going to run for shelter. (Goes to door R. 3 E., stops on threshold.) Stubbie (grinning, to Jane). Oh, it's all right. (Be- gins to remove overcoat.) I find I have a few minutes to spare. (Hangs coat up. Dora smiles.) Jane (as if struck with a sudden thought). Stubbie, Mr. Hudson gave fifteen thousand dollars to charity, a lit- tle while ago. Stubbie (whirls about in astonishment to her). Whew! (Stares stupidly at Jane.) Dora (to Stubbie, sarcastically) . That was an awfully clever remark, Mr. Stebbins. (Jane smiles.) Stubbie (to Dora). Gee whiz! She took my breath away ! Fifteen thousand dollars ! Whew ! He gave that much away, and I can't afford to smoke good cigars. T)ORA (dryly). Yes, I've noticed that. (Stvbbik winces.) Jane (to Stubbie, thoughtfully). I don't know why I spoke about it as I did, but, somehow, it flashed through my brain that I must mention the fact to you, and I did. Stubbie (loftily). You did perfectly right, Jansie. We reporters must be kept posted. Jane (thoughtfully). Of course it is merely a coinci- dence — (then quickly). Oh, what am I saying? Stubbie (gazing at her thoughtfully). Jansie,. there's a whole lot sometimes in that unfathomable thing called "woman's instinct." (Jane and Dora start in surprise.) It's a good hunch to draw cards to in a game, and — (change of tone.) Say, I've seen that Hudson chap be- fore, and — Dora (interrupting, to Stubbie). Stubbie Stebbins, be- THE GOODFELLOW. 49 have! I simply won't listen to any reflections concerning Mr. Hudson. (Stubbie throws up both hands and turns away.) Jane {to Dora). I dislike to believe there's anything suspicious about Mr. Hudson, but — {hesitates) but the hundred dollar bill he gave me last night {hesitates again) was found on John when he was searched. Stubbie {whirling and facing Jaisie). Well? What's the answer ? Jane {slowly). I gave the bill to John, and Detective Bacon claims that some of the money stolen was in one hundred dollar bills. Stubbie {striking palm of one hand forcibly with fist of other). Then Hudson is the — Dora {sharply). Stubbie — don't say it. You are jump- ing at conclusions. Stubbie. Well, gee whiz — let me jump. I won a medal once for jumping in my Freshman year. Jane {to Dora). You're right, dear; we mustn't be hasty. I'll leave you two together while I finish, my work, and then get ready to go down town. {Exit R. 3 E.) Dora. Stubbie Stebbins, I've long been obsessed with the idea that you were insufficiently supplied with brains, and now the idea has developed into a strong conviction. Stubbie {at sofa, sits slowly , eibozvs on knees, in his thoughtful way). You can "pan" me all you want, but I'll make you change your mind yet. {Unconsciously his hand strays to an eyebrow and he strokes it, a la Hudson man- ner, staring into space.) Dora {sits on sofa beside him. Pause). I don't think you're a bit nice, Mr. Stebbins. {Pouts.) Stubbie {dreamily) . I get him and then I don't get him. {Rousing.) Gee whiz, but it makes me sore! {Puts both hands to his head.) Dora {plaintively). You're not paying a bit of attention to me. Stubbie {facing her quickly). I beg your pardon. Did you speak? Dora {rising coldly). No. 50 THE GOODFELLOW. Stubbie (pulling her down beside him, laughingly). Be- have! Dora. You're always thinking- — but not always about me. Stubbie. Well, what about me? I've got a kick coming, I guess. You are going motoring with Freddie Browning tomorrow afternoon. (Pouts.) Dora (teasingly) . Well, and what if I am? He's a very nice boy ; and he has lovely blue eyes. Stubbie. Yes, and a yellow streak. Dora. And he has such a swell car, too. Stubbie (sourly). I'll bet he stole it. Dora (sternly). Mr. Stebbins ! Stubbie. Say, that guy couldn't put his hands into his own pockets without stealing something. Dora (laughs, then soothingly). There, there, Stubbie. I was only teasing you. You know I like you best of all, and all the time I'm out with Freddie I'll be thinking of you. Stubbie (gloomily). Well, I don't care for absent treat- ment. Dora (laughs and kisses him on the cheek). There's a little token of my esteem. Now cheer up. You look like a first-class funeral. Besides, you have nothing to complain of. Think of poor John. (Sighs.), Just think, Stubbie; if I hadn't prevailed, on you to stop your drinking, you might have committed some such foolish thing — or crime. Stubbie. You? You made me stop drinking? Dora. Yes, I kept you from drinking and you should thank me. Stubbie (gloomily). I'd be glad to thank you if you'd keep me from getting fat. But, never mind, sweet child. (Rises.) I'm going to duck and leave you with Jansie. I've got a terrible lot to do today. (Goes tozvards halltree for coat and hat.) Dora (follozmng him). Hudson, you mean? vStubbie (slipping into coat). You're the great little guesser. (At door.) I'm going to get that eyebrow thing if I have to give him the Third Degree. (He raises right THE GOODFELLOW. 51 hand and is about to bring it down, into the palm of other for emphasis, when he 'checks it half zvay down, his face changes expression and he stares into space, as if a vision of the past had risen suddenly before his eyes. Then he passes a hand over forehead and eyes as if brushing some- thing away, and turns to her excitedly.) The minute I said 'Third Degree" I got him. I remember now. That's what he was up against the last time I saw him — "The Third Degree !" I've got him ! I've got him ! The time, the place and the man! (Dora starts as though to speak, but he si- lences her with a quick gesture.) No time now to unload. (6^^// more excitedly.) It's going to be the greatest scoop in modern journalism. Out of my way, everybody ! {Dashes to door R, C.) Keep your eye on Stubbie Stebbins, the late dead one, but now the great little live wire. {Exits madly through door, banging it shut behind him, minus hat and not passing " windozv. ) Dora {bewildered by his outburst, slowly regains normal condition, taps forehead zvith tips of fingers). Poor Stub- bie ! He's clean gone ! {Looks at halltree, discovers his hat is still there, picks it up and runs to door, opens it and yells after him.) Stubbie, you've left your hat! Stubbie {off L., some distance away). I'm in a hurry. To hell with, the hat! (Dora starts back in shocked sur- prise, then comes in and hangs hat on rack, is about to turn and cross to R., when sharp knock on door R. C.) Dora (startled). Who's there? {Opens door.) Enter Meadows, followed closely by Woodstock. Mead- ows takes off hat and bozus with great ceremony to Dora. Woodstock takes off hat, stands cringingly at door, brush- ing hat carefully zuith palm of hand. Meadows (zuith a smirk and speaking in a thin squeaky voice). I am Richard Meadows, young woman. Dora {coolly). You are, indeed! I would know you any- where. Meadows {turning to Woodstock). She would know me anywhere. 52 THE GOODFELLOW. Woodstock (still brushing hat, mournfully repeats). She would know you anywhere. Dora (to Meadows). Stubbie says that you are one of our best little coin collectors. Meadows (testily). I don't care to listen to gossip. I called to see Miss Madison. Dora (sarcastically) . She'll be bubblins^ over with pure delight, I'm sure. I'll tell her you're here. (With an amused look at the men, exits R. 3 E. Meadows unwinds a very long m,uffler from about his neck, while Woodstock still maintains the same position at door, stolidly brushing hat. Meadows^ with great care, hangs up his muffler and hat and unbuttons overcoat.) Enter Jane, R. 3 E. Shows that she both dislikes and fears him. Jane (to Meadows, coldly). Mr. Meadows, I told you last time you called here, that I never wished to see you again. Meadows {rubs hands together and leers at her). I know you did; but that's been sometime ago, and events sometimes arise in this terrible world of ours which often completely change the aspect of our prospects, hopes and ambitions. (Looks all about in search of a seat, then goes to sofa.) With your permission, my dear, I'll sit down. What I have to say to you may consume some time. One never knows. (Jane displays annoyance, but bows a cold assent. He pulls out a large red bandanna handkerchief, carefully dusts off sofa, just as carefully restores handker- chief to his pocket and then consumes several moments in sitting down, as if every joint in his body were rusty with age. Sighs wearily as he -finally sits. Jane, meanwhile, has eyed him in scornful silence. He rubs his hands and eyes her gloatingly.) Miss Madison, I came to tell you that the man whom you saw fit to bestow your beautiful hand upon, is in the custody of the police. Jane (zvinces, then coldly). You are telling me some- thing which I already know. Meadows (turning about to Woodstock, who is in the THE GOODFELLOW. 53 same position at door). Woodstock, you morbid wretch, you hear that ? She already knows ! Woodstock (mournfully repeats). She already knows. Meadows (turning to Jane, sternly). And who had the audacity to presume to forestall my pleasure in this matter? Jane (surprised). Your pleasured Did you say, pleasure? Meadows (rubs hands together). Exactly what I said — pleasure. I wanted to be the first to impart the information to you, and hurried here at my utmost speed. Jane (scornfully). Did you walk or ride? Meadows. I walked. I walked and — saved a nickel ! (Chuckles and rubs palms together, miser-like.) Jane (disgusted) . And now that you have imparted your very joyfid tidings, permit me to wish you a good day. ( Turns. ) Meadows (quickly). Stay! Not so fast, young lady — not so fast! (Chuckles zvickedly and rubs palms.) I am only just begun. You know that Dawson has been arrested, but do you also know that he will be sent to prison? Jane (spiritedly) . I am not aware of anything of the kind. He is innocent! Meadows (spitefully). Bah! He is guilty! He robbed me and must take the consequences. You know he got my money — my beautiful money — you are trying to shield him. Jane (with spirit). Mr. Meadows, you insult me. I shall not listen to another word. (Again turns as if to depart.) Meadows (sharply). Stop! I warn you not to go. (She turns and faces him haughtily.) I never insult anyone. (To Woodstock.) Do I, Woodstock? Woodstock (as before). You do, sir Meadows (snarlingly) . I do not, you scoundrel! (To Jane.) I never talk anything of the least importance to anybody unless in the presence of my legal adviser. (Indi- cates Woodstock.) Jane (sarcastic smile). You must obtain very good ad- vice from him, I'm sure. Meadows (snappishly). That's what I pay him for, Miss. (Rubs palms together and leers amorously at her.) You are a very pretty girl, my dear — very pretty! (She 54 THE GOODFELLOW. flushes angrily.) Oh, no offense, I assure you. {To Wood- stock.) Woodstock, you stingy wretch! Do I lay myself liable in calling Miss Madison a very pretty girl? Woodstock {as before). You do not, sir. She is very pretty. (Sighs mournfully.) Meadows (to Jane). But that remark was merely a prelude. (Clears throat.) A few months ago I did you the exalted honor of asking you to become Mrs. Richard Meadows. Jane (scornfully). Honor? I do not so consider it! Meadow^s (testily). You are not the one to be consid- ered. It is I, Richard Meadows, the richest man in this part of the country, who is to be considered. (Taps breast proudly.) Jane (at table, leaning over back of chair and gazing at hifn s ear chin gly) . Mr. Meadows, just what is the con- crete object of your visit here today? Meadows (smirks, rubs palms together and leers at her, then trying to smile). Can't you guess? Can't you read it in my eyes? Can't you see that my heart is again young and that it beats in love's sweet unison — all for you ? Jane (amused in spite of herself at this speech). Mr. Meadows, you 'have been reading "Lady Laura's Love Stories." Meadows (thinking she is surrendering to his suit, smiles). Ah, you will have your little joke. (Chuckles.) I knew, I felt that you could be won. I have said to myself, over and over again, "Richard, keep up a brave heart. She is merely a child. She knows not her own heart. Give her a little time and she will yield. She will some day recog- nize the true worth in sterling Richard Meadows." Jane (zuith dignity). Mr. Meadows, this interview is fast becoming embarrassing to me. It was not of my seek- ing, and I refuse to listen to more of your insults. Now, go! Meadows (astounded). Insults? (Snarlingly.) You con- sider it an insult for Richard Meadows to ask a girl in your standing to become Richard Meadows' wife? Jane (firmly). I-'do! (Turns to depart.) THE GOODFELLOW. 55 Meadows (warningly). I wouldn't go if I were you. I came here to ask you to marry me — and for myself alone — but since you reject my offer, there are other means of forcing you. If not for me, you shall do it to save an- other. (She winces.) You shall listen to me. (Hurriedly.) I hold the fate of John Dawson in the hollow of my hand. I can make or I can break him — do you understand? There is but one way to save him from going to prison, and that way is through you. Jane (agitatedly). I? I have a way to save him? Meadows (excitedly and hurriedly). John Dawson stole my money — ah, it's true ; you needn't look that way. I have witnesses to prove that he was seen coming out of the bank late that night. He claims he was not there. He lies ! There are other incriminating facts against him, I say you can save him, and so you can. Promise that you will marry me and I shall withdraw the charge against him. Refuse, and the law shall take its course. (Leans eagerly towards her.) Jane (dazed, then slowly recovering) . I — I do not un- derstand. John is innocent ; but even if he were guilty, you could not save him. The law must take its course. Meadows (eagerly and looking craftily all about). No, no. I can say that I have been mistaken. That the money was not in the safe ; that I mislaid it ; and that I found it some other place. (Rubs palms together.) Don't you see how that could be done? (To Woodstock.) That could be done. Couldn't it, you rascal? Woodstock (as before). It could be done, sir — very neatly. Jane (to Meadows, emotionally). Have you no pity — no spark of manhood in your hideous makeup? What have 1 ever done to you — to anyone in the world — that I should be made a sacrifice -of ? (Draws herself proudly erect.) But I shall not believe what you say, or what others say of him. John Dawson is innocent! Meadows (snarlingly) . I tell you, he is a thief! But in- nocent or guilty, he shall go to prison unless you consent to marry me. I tell you I hold his fate here! (Thrusts out 56 THE GOODFELLOW. his hands towards her, clawing and convulsively opening and shutting them, leering zvickedly.) Speak! Which shall it be — a prison for your lover, or — {leers at her, twitch- ing hands). Jane {recoiling in loathing and covering face with hands). No, no! {Moaningly.) Oh, what shall I do ! What shall I do! {Sobs.) Meadows {gloatingly). There is but the one way! See! {Rises with a great effort and holds out his arms to her.) Come ! I offer you the love and protection of an honest man — a husband you will be justly proud of — and John shall go free! Jane {peers at him through her fingers, shudders, then lowers her hands, clasping and unclasping them agitatedly.) I would do anything — make any sacrifice to save him. {He smiles in triumph and takes a step towards her, hut she checks him by a gesture.) Wait! I cannot bring myself to — to promise now. Give me a few moments to — to think. {Again he steps toward her; she turns in loathing.) No, no; I tell you I must think! {Crosses quickly to L. 3 E., turns to him.) I must think it all out for myself. There is ncme to advise me. I am alone — alone ! {Staggers from room, sobbing.) Meadows {looks gloatingly after her, then turns to Woodstock^ chuckling and rubbing palms together). It's going to work out, you dog! It's working better than I expected. {Chuckles zvickedly.) Woodstock {as before). Yes, sir — ^better than I ex- pected. Meadows {craftily). I'm not so sure that I shall have the charge against Dawson withdrawn — when she's once my wife. {Again chuckles wickedly.) What say you, you scoundrel ? Woodstock {as before). My advice, sir, is to let him go to prison — after Miss Madison becomes Mrs. Meadows. Meadows {snappishly). I shall not pay you for that ad- vice. It was entirely my own idea, you villain ! Woodstock {mournfully) . It does not matter, sir. THE GOODFELLOW. 57 Meadows (testily). What do you mean? Don't I pay you? Woodstock (dolefully). Yes, sir — nearly. Meadows. Then cease your eternal whimpering*. (Rubs palms together, turns and gazes gloatingly at L. S E.) I hope she won't be long. I am most anxious to clasp her to my hungry heart. (Chuckles wickedly and rubs hands.) The tap, tap of Hudson^s cane is heard as he comes rap- idly towards the door R. C. Meadows and Woodstock be- come rigidly intent. Enter Hudson. He glances quickly about and smiles contemptuously as his eyes fall upon the two men. Meadows glares uneasily at him. Hudson (to Meadows). Dear, dear! What an honor to fall on this humble home ! Mr. Richard Meadows pays us a visit. (With mock politeness.) Have you been received, sir? Meadows (nervously, but attempting a geniality). Oh, yes. I am waiting for Miss Madison. (Rubs hands.) Hudson (peering suspiciously about). Humph! I sup- posed a busy man like you would have no time to wait for anyone. Meadows (sharply). My time is my own. I wait for whom I choose. Hudson (mildly). Dear, dear! I really must apologize. I am stopping here, you know. I am a lover of the simple life, that is why. Of course, you know these things, but you are likewise aware of the fact that we have met before. Meadows (grudgingly). I saw you yesterday in my bank, also on two or three other occasions. Hudson. Yes, you were kind enough to cash a draft for me yesterday. I thanked you yesterday — again I thank you. (Bows mockingly.) Meadows (impatiently and glancing at L. 3 E.). I have no time to talk shop now. I have other matters to consider. (Scozvls at Hudson.) Enter Jane, L. 3 E., and Dora, R. 3 E., simultaneously. They stop just inside each door expectantly. Hudson (glancing quickly at the two girls. To Mead- 58 THE GOODFELLOW. ows). You'll pardon me, Mr. Meadows, but I am so dread- fully absent-minded and careless regarding money matters. Do you call to mind the amount of the draft you so kindly cashed for me? Meadows (proudly). Certainly. I pride myself on money data. I gave you two one hundred dollar bills and six fifty dollar bills — $500 — the amount the draft called for. Hudson (again glancing quickly at the girls. To Mead- ows). Thank you, sir. I believe that is absolutely correct. (Bows mockingly, crosses to L. 3 E., glances keenly into Jane's face and notes its troubled expression. Aside to her.) What is it? Can I do anything? Jane (aside to him). No — nothing. I have a message for him. (Indicates Meadows; crosses to him at R. C. Spiritedly.) Mr. Meadows, I have considered your highly flattering offer, and have decided — Meadows (interrupts with a wicked chuckle). Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You have decided — Jane. I have decided — Mrs. M. (off R., calls). Jane! Did somebody just come in? Jane (szvift change of expression, smiles peace ftdly). I shall not marry you. I am going to smile — and be brave! (Dora and Hudson step forward a couple of paces in ex- cited manner.) Meadows (recoils, then steps ' towards her in snarling rage). You — you refuse? (Cackling, wicked laugh.) We shall see about that. You promised to marry me, and I have a reputable witness to that effect. (Indicates Wood- stock.) I decline to accept your refusal. (Working grad- ually into an insane fury.) Do you hekr me, you fickle jade? I refuse to be shoved aside. I am Richard Meadows ! Do you realize what it means to have Richard Meadows for an enemy? If you don't you shall soon learn. I never fail to get what I 'go after. Now I want you — damn you! I want you ! (Suddenly throws his arms about her and at- tempts to drazv her to him. She struggles and throzvs him off. Dora rtins to assist her, but Hudson, with a quick rush, grabs Meadows and hurls him violently to the floor. Wood- THE GOODFELLOW. 59 STOCK gives a gasp of dismay and heats a hasty retreat through door R. C.) (Picture: Meadows on floor R. C, glaring insanely up at Hudson^ zvho is looking coldly down on him, one hand raised to eyebrozv, stroking it. Dora^ L. C, doing a skirt dance of triumph. Jane goes szviftly to door R. 2 E., opens it.) Jane (looking in door). No, mother, dear; somebody is just going out ! Quick Curtain. Second Curtain. (Meadows at door R. C, about to exit, Dora extending his hat to him, holding it daintily between thumb and -finger. Hudson at L. 3 E., looking at Meadows. Jane at R. 2 E., smiling at Meadows.) Dora (to Meadows, extending hat). Mr. Meadows, here's your hat! What's your hurry! Quick Curtain. Act III. Scene : Captain Richards' office in police headquarters. Boxed chamber in ''three,'' with practical doors R. and L. and window in back flat C, looking out at adjoining build- ings. The furniture consists of a flat-top desk and swivel chair C. and a small straight back chair at either side of desk. A desk telephone sets on end of desk. At rise Richards is discovered at desk, busily writing. He lays dozun pen as curtain is well up, blots paper, folds it up and lays it to one side. Sorts over papers on top of desk, then lays the different sheets about him in methodical wanner, whistling softly the while. He takes out zuatch, notes time, snaps case shut again and opens it and snaps it shut zmth a preoccupied manner. He finally restores zvatch to his pocket. He does all these things as if he were think- 60 THE GOODFELLOW. ing out his plan of action for the coming cross-examination or Third Degree. It should be done in a manner to create ''atmosphere" and arouse the audience to a tense state of suspense. He swings about in chair and surveys the room, rests one elbow on arm of chair, and with chin on hand wrinkles his brows in thought. He rises suddenly, goes to window and gazes out. Puts his hands in pockets, whistles in absent-minded manner, squares his shoulders, turns and comes briskly to desk and picks up telephone. Richards {into phone). Hello, Henderson. This is Richards. Seen anything of that newspaper reporter? No? (Growlingly.) No, he didn't kill anybody. I just want him, that's all. Now, get busy. (Hangs up receiver and presses button at side of desk.) Enter Bacon, door R., pauses just inside door and touches hat in military style. Bacon. Yes, Cap? Richards. You got all those folks lined up out there? (Bacon nods head. The Captain consults slip of paper on desk, then picks up a pen.) Call 'em w^hile I check 'em. Bacon {taking slip of paper from pocket, reading names). Jane Madison. Richards {checking off name). Miss Madison— good looker. Bacon {reading from. slip). Martha Peck. Richards {checking name). Martha Peck — not so much so. Bacon {from slip). Dora Woodruff. Richards {checks name). Dora Woodruff — a pippin. Bacon. Henry Madison. Richards. Henry Madison — old fossil. Bacon. Richard Meadows. Richards. Richard Meadows — I hope he chokes. Bacon. Hey? Richards. Nothin'. Go ahead, Steve. Bacon. Old Man Hudson, and — that's all. Richards {throwing down pen angrily). It's not all, either. Where's Stebbins? THE GOODFELLOW. 61 Bacon (uneasily). I don't know. Richards (leans back in chair and surveys Bacon coldly. Deep sarcasm). You're a fine detective! What the devil do you draw money for, anyhow? Bacon. Say, Cap, go easy. I done a good job on this case, and there ain't no spankin' comin' to me. Richards. Bah ! You talk like a second-hand doughnut. (Bangs fist on desk.) Say, when I tell you to bring in a guy, I want him brought in. Get me, Steve? (Bacon nods sullenly. Thoughtful pause.) When's the last you or one of the boys saw this Stebbins guy? Bacon. Last report I gits on him, he's doin' a fast Mar- athon down the street — with no hat on. Richards (stares at Bacon). No hat on; running? Why no hat? Bacon. Search me. But don't worry. We'll git him. Richards (growiingly) . You'd better. (Consults paper on desk.) What's Old Man Hudson's first name? Bacon. Don't know. Don't think he's got one. Richards. Humph ! I'm gettin' a fine line of informa- tion from you. You nearly know somethin'. (Sharply.) Bring in Meadows. (Looks frowningly down at paper on desk.) Bacon (opens door R., calls sharply). Mr. Meadows! (Then holds door open for Meadows' entrance.) Enter Meadows, followed closely by Woodstock. They stop just inside door, remove hats and stand expectant, azved silence. Bacon glances at them in an amused manner, then exits. Meadows and Woodstock keep a zuary eye on Richards, who is still studying paper on desk. A pause of about twenty seconds. Meadows (clearing throat nervously). Ahem! (Rich- ards turns slowly, favors him with a cold stare, then re- turns again to the study of his paper. Meadows sUnks closer to Woodstock and zvhispers in his ear, zvatching Richards the while. Woodstock listens, shakes his head and starts as though to leave the room, but Meadows clutches his arm and entreats him in pantomime to stay.) 62 THE GOODFELLOW. Richards (without looking up from paper, calls sharply). Richard Meadows ! Meadows {zvith a quick start of fright). Yes — yes, sir. Richards (still scanning paper). Come here! (Meadows walks in trembling manner to desk.) Sit down! (Meadows goes to chair R. of desk, takes out his red handkerchief and carefully diists chair, then comedy business of sitting down. Richards stares at him in open-mouthed astonishment the zvhile. Woodstock stands at door, brushing hat.) Meadows (finally seated, sighs). Well, Tm here, Cap- tain. Richards (aside). Ain't it a shame that a man like this is allowed to live and men like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln had to die. (To Meadows, referring to paper on desk. Brusquely.) I want to get the bullseye on this thing, Mr. Meadows, so I'll know what I'm shootin' at. • First, you claim your loss is twenty thousand cash ^nd valuable securities. Right? Meadows. That's right, sir. (To Woodstock at door.) That's correct, isn't it, Woodstock? Woodstock (nervously brushing hat; mournful tone). Quite right, sir. Richards (zvhirlin^ about and darting a scozvling glance at Woodstock. Then to Meadows.) Say, what's the idea? (Indicates Woodstock.) Meadows. That's my legal adviser. Captain. Richards (grozdingly). Well, tell him to shut up! Meadows (meekly). Yes, sir. (To Woodstock, sharply.) Woodstock, shut up. Woodstock (mournftd voice). Yes, sir; thank you, sir. Richards (to Meadows). Got a list of them securities? (All through the scene zvith Meadows he shozi/s that he cor- dially dislikes the man.) Meadows (pulling out, an envelope and laying it on desk). Yes, Captain. They're all in there. Richards (shortly). All right. Now what shape was the cash in? (Writes as Meadows enumerates.) Meadows. It was all in currency. Five one thousand THE GOODFELLOW. 63 dollar bills, ten five hundred dollar bills and the rest in one hundred dollar gold certificates. Richards. Got the number of any them bills? Meadows (sadly shaking head). No, I haven't. Who'd ever thought that Dawson would ever rob me. Richards (sharply). Cut that! It ain't a cinch that he did. Meadows (snappishly). Well, I'm positive he did. Only him and me knew the combination — understand ? Richards. Say, I won't stand for that tone of voice. Put the soft pedal on when you talk to me — see? (Meadows cozvers in his chair.) How did it happen that you had that amount of money in cash on hand, and why wasn't it in the vaults? Meadows. I had a mortgage to take up the first thing in the morning, before the time-locks on vaults would operate — that's how it came, sir. Richards (thoughtful pause). Any reason for you to cook up anything against young Dawson? (Searching look at Meadows.) Meadows (avoiding Richards^ eyes and shifting uneasily in chair). No — ■no, sir. I have nothing against him — that is, I had nothing against him. Richards. Liked him, eh? Meadows (craftily). Oh, yes; very much. Richards (looks down at paper on desk, taps it with pen in preoccupied manner. Then suddenl\ and sharply). Did you ask Miss Madison to marry you this morning? Meadows (cringing). I — -I — no, sir. I never did, sir. Richards (mildly). Um! I was mistaken. (Suddenly jumps to his feet and towers oz^er Meadows, shaking; -fist in his face. Savagely.) You lie. Meadows! You lie and you know it. You asked that girl to marry you this morn- ing, and I believe you cooked up this thing to get Dawson in bad with her, thinkin' you'd have a chance with her. It's a fat chance you'd have, you old skinflint ! Meadows (attempting dignity). Captain Richards, I didn't come here to be insulted. (Looks appealingly about to Woodstock, w/io is nozv vigorously brushing hat.) 64 THE GOODFELLOW. Richards (sitting down again). Oh,, you didn't, eh? Weil, weii. What do you thinlc of that now! (Laughs.) Meadows. I have a witness (indicates Woodstock) and 1 warn you to be careful, sir. Richards (looking at Woodstock). And do you call that a witness? (Laughs again, then suddenly sobers, picks up the hundred dollar bill from desk and holds it up.) If it wasn't for this being found on John Dawson, I'd say you robbed your own safe. Meadows (recoils and then reaches eagerly for bill). It's mine ! It's one of the bills ! Give it to me ; give it to me, please. (Rubs hands together in miser-like manner and gazes gloatingly at bill.) Richards (coolly, and putting bill back on desk). No, I'll not give it to you. 'Tis a hard matter to identify money. This may be yours and again it may not. Meadows (doubtingly) . And that one bill was all that was found on him? Richards. Yes. And don't look so doubtin' at me, either. Meadows. Oh, what did he do with the rest of my money ? My money ! Richards (pressing a hnger on button at side of desk). If I told you, you'd know. But what I do know is this. You framed this thing up to queer Dawson with the girl. Enter Bacon; R. Bacon. Want me, Cap? Richards. Yes. Show these two gentlemen into the small ante room, and th.en open both windows wide. (With a contemptuous look at Woodstock and Meadows, whirls about to desk and busies himself with pen and paper.) The open window is to let pure air in — not for them to make a get-away. Understand? (Bacon smiles, opens door and motions for the men to go. Meadows struggles to his feet, turns to Richards and fairly grovels at his feet.) Meadows. You will find my money, won't you, sir. You will find it — the money I worked so hard to get — my pre- cious money ! Promise me that you will find it and give it back to me. (Miser business.) My beautiful money! THE GOODFELLOW. 65 Richards (disgustedly, to Bacon). Take him away, Steve. He makes me sick. (Bacon motions for the men to leave the room, and they go to door R., followed by Bacon. Then Meadows turns to Richards, vehemently.) Meadows. I'll show you what'U happen to you, Captain Richards. No one ever bucked Richard Meadows and was a grand success afterwards. (Exits R., followed by Wood- ST0CK_, in snarling anger.) Bacon (closing door after them). Gee, Cap, he's some vicious ! Richards (throzvs down pen and glares at Bacon). Young man, when I want a personal opinion from you, I'll send you word. Bring Dawson in! (Turns back to desk again; writes. Bacon crosses to L., turns and makes a spiteful face at Richards and exits L. Richards picks up hundred dollar bill, looks at it scowlingly). That's a bad piece of evidence against the lad. There are other things, too, that'll count against him ; but this is bad — awful bad! (Looks again at bill, then places it in drazver. Stares thoughtfully into space an instant.) I'll try kindness on the laci. I've known that to work, sometimes. Enter Bacon, R., followed by John. The latter is neat in appearance, but is nervous and glances apprehensively about the room. Bacon motions John to chair at desk, crosses and exits R.^ John goes slowly to desk and sits in chair R., agitated manner. Richards (laying down paper and smiling kindly at John). Well, lad, how you feelin'? John. As well as could be expected, I guess — under the circumstances. Richards (looks him over critically). Well, you look better than you did awhile ago. Had lunch? John. Yes, thank you. Richards (pulls open a drazver, takes out a cigar box, extends it). Have a smoke? John (taking a cigar, now a little more at ease. Grate- fully). Thank you again, Captain. 66 THE GOODFELLOW. Richards (strikes match, extends light to John, then lights his cigar before speaking). 'Tis a pleasing thing- — a good cigar. (Puffs contentedly.) John (takes tzvo or three pnffs, then makes a wry face). Yes — a good cigar is. Richards (gazing admiringly at his cigar). And these are good. They cost me four cents each by the hundred lot. (Holds cigar up.) That, lad, is a genuine General Rope. John (smiles slightly) . Then they must be good. (Holds cigar hetzveen thumb and Unger, surveys it doubtfidly.) Richards (blows a cloud of smoke ceilingward) . Your father used to love his tobacco, my boy. (John turns head sadly.) 'Tis many the smoke and chat I've had with him in days gone by; God rest his soul! (John's head sinks on his chest.) John, lad, I'm your friend. I've 'shown that today, haven't I? (John bows head in assent.) I sent for your fresh linen and change of clothes, gave you a bully lunch, and now — now you're smokin' one of my choicest cigars. John (raises head, smiles slightly). Captain, your idea of the Third Degree meets with my hearty approval. (Aside, referring to cigar.) All but this. Richards (gruffly). I'm no true disciple of that Third Degree stuff, lad. (Takes tzvo or three thoughtful puffs on cigar, earnestly.) John, for the sake of your old dad, I'm goin' to be your friend. By g-ad, you need one ! Now^ come clean with me. John (sullenly). What do you mean. Captain? Richards. I want to know several things. (Sharply.) Where were you the night the safe was robbed? John (hangs head in confusion). I — I don't know. Richards (displays disappointment). That's a bad start, lad. John (srdlenly). I-can't help it; it's the truth. Richards (sharply). You're not telling all. You were seen to come out of the bank about twelve that night. John (quickly and shozuing agitation). Who saw me? THE GOODFELLOW. b^ KiCHARDS (quietly). I'm askin' questions ; not you. That's a bad point against you, too. Especially when you deny havin' been there after bankin' hours. (Watches John's face keenly to knozv effect.) John. Captain, to be perfectly frank with you, I had been drinking heavily that night, and can't remember what happened. I do know that I was home and in bed in the morning as usual. Richards (sadly and shaking head). Faith, 'tis a fine stew you've got yourself into — all through liquor. John (remorsefully). I'm through with it, Captain, no matter what happens to me now. I've had my lesson. Richards (gruffly). You'll have plenty of time to keep from it, the way it looks now. (John starts nervously.) Here's another Jbad point against you. What the devil did you run away for? John (zvith some spirit). And why not? Everything seemed against me. I was the only one besides Mr. Mead- ows that had the combination ; my brain was in a befuddled condition, due to liquor ; then the warrant for my arrest. All these things obsessed me with the idea that flight was the only thing remaining for me. Richards (gruffly). You couldn't have done worse — not a thing. (Pause, then suddenly and sharply.) What did you do with the money you stole? John (recoiling in horror) . The — the money? I — I don't know. I didn't have it — not a dollar the next morning. Richards (turns quickly and thrusts his face close to John's. Roars). Oh, you didn't, eh? You didn't have a dollar, eh ? John (wonderingly). Why, no — not a dollar. Don't you believe me? Richards (roars). No, I don't believe you. You're a liar ! John (springs to his feet, throws cigar on floor, then thrusts his face close to Richards'). Captain Richards, you can't call me that and get away with it. (Threatens him zvith fist.) Richards (sneeringly) . Oh, I can't, eh? (Quickly pulls 68 THE GOODFELLOW. open drawer, takes out hill, rises and shakes it in John's face.) You're a liar and this proves it! John (staggers weakly back and sinks into chair. Sul- lenly). That — that doesn't prove anything. Richards {throzus hill on desk, disgustedly). Oh, what's the use! What's the use! (Sinks zvearily into his chair.) You can't come clean ; it ain't in you. You say you didn't have a dollar next mornin' after the robbery, and today when we frisk you we find that bill on you. John (hotly). I tell you I didn't have it next morning. Richards (quickly). Then who slipped it to you when you made your get-away last night? (Leans eagerly toward John.) John (cowering). I — J refuse to say. Richards (sneeringly). Oh, you're a bright lad, you are! I can see you in a nice striped suit right now. John (forgetting himself). She gave it to me, but — (stops suddenly as he realizes the admission he has made.) Richards (triumphantly). Oh, she gave it tO' you, did she? So you're going to get some woman mixed up in this matter, are you? (Sarcastically.) You're a brave lad! (Sharply.) Well, if she gave it to you, where did she get it — and what she is it? (Thrusts face close to John's and hores him with a gimlet gaze.) John (excitedly). You're wrong, and so am L There's no one mixed up in this thing but myself. (Wildly.) Damn you and your gimlet eyes ! Take 'em off me ! Don't look at me that way! Take 'em off, I say! (Covers face with both hands and sinks sohhingly hack into chair.) Richards (smiles as if nozv sure of his victory). V thought so, all along, but I tried to jolly myself along with the belief that you were by some chance innocent. (Presses button for Bacon.) I'll give you one more chance before we take you downstairs again, to tell me if there's a she mixed up in this. John (springs to feet, agitatedly) . I tell you, Captain, I am the one. I confess ! I stole Meadows' money. I was deeply in debt — that's why. Now I am willing to suffer the penalty. THE GOODFELLOW. 69 Enter Bacon, R. Richards {to Bacon). Send Dawson down stairs. I've pumped him dry. {Turns to desk. Bacon takes Joh'N hy arm and they cross to L. At door John turns as if to speak to Richards, changes his mind and permits Bacon to lead him through door, his head sadly bozved on his chest. Richards slowly picks up his cigar, thoughtfully lights it, takes a couple of puffs, then his gaze zuanders about top of desk and then to floor, suddenly discovers John's cigar on floor, rises and picks it up). My, my! the lad has so much money now that he throws away good cigars half smoked. {Carefully lays it on one corner of desk, again seats himself and gazes sorrozufully at John's cigar.) My, my! 'tis a sinful waste of money. {Frowns at end of his ozun cigar.) I'm worse tangled up than I was before. I've got to find out who "she" is. Enter Bacon, L. Bacon {eagerly). The guy tells me he confessed to you. Richards {gruffly). Bring in the Peck woman and old Madison. Bacon {hesitates). I don't understand, Cap. Richards. Of course you don't. If you knew any thin' you wouldn't be a detective. Bring 'em in ! Bacon {gruffly, salutes). All right, Cap. {Exits R.) Richards {grozvlingly) . I wonder where Stebbins is, and just what he knows? {Thoughtful pause, sighs, picks up pen and writes.) Enter Bacon, Martha and Henry, R. Bacon escorts them to chairs R. and L. of desk, then grins maliciously at them and exits R. Richards busies himself with pen, pay- ing no attention to them. Twenty seconds elapse, during zvhich Martha is struggling to suppress her rising anger and Henry is nervously fingering his hat and glacing fear- fully about the room. Martha {vehemently, to Richards). I do wish, you'd say something. You're getting on my nerves ! Richards {slowly lays dpzun pen and as slowly turns to her). What is your name, ma'am? 70 THE GOODFELLOVV. Martha (snappishly). You know what my name is or I wouldn't be here. Now I want to know why I have been arrested? Henry (nervously). Yes, sir; we'd Hke to know. Martha (scornfully, glaring angrily at Henry). There's no "we" in this at all. I never did have any use for you, and I refuse to be even arrested with you. Richards (glaring angrily at each of them in turn and banging top of desk with £st). Shut up, both of you!_ Til do the talkin' in this thing. (She glares angrily at him.) You're not "pinched," either one of you— and if you behave you won't be. (Brusquely, to Martha.) You board at the Madison's, don't you? Martha (snappishly). You know I do. Henry (eagerly). Yes, sir, she does. I made the busi- ness arrangements myself. (Martha glares at him.) Richards (to Henry). Say, I'll choke you in a minute! (To Martha.) Do you know one Richard Meadows? Martha (stiffly). By reputation only. I don't care to know any one as crooked as he. Richards (sharply). I'm not askin' your opinion. I want — ■ Martha (interrupting). I don't care what you want. Richard Meadows is so crooked that he uses a corkscrew for a fork. (Henry chuckles but is instantly silenced by a scowl from Richards.) Richards (to Martha). You know the accused m this case, John Dawson? Henry. He zuas engaged to my daughter. " . Martha (sharply). He is, you mean, not was. (To Richards.) Mr. John Dawson is a very fine young man, and I can say that I am proud to know him. He has one failing. He will drink. Henry. Yes, and he's shiftless, too. Richards (ignoring Henry — to Martha). It looks very much like he was the party who stole Meadows' coin. Martha (snappishly). Don't believe it Henry. Well, he and Meadows were the only ones that knew the combination; the safe wasn't blown open, and THE GOODFELLOW. 71 folks don't generally rob themselves. (Martha glares an- grily at this.) Richards (to Henry). Tell me what you know about Dawson— and do it quick and brief. Henry (eagerly). I've had my eye on him for a long time, and I told Jane not to have anything more to do with him, but she was that stubborn she went ahead and did just the same. He drank and gambled, and he got into debt through them things. And now he's a robber. (Martha again glares at this.) Richards (sharply). How do you know he is? Henry (hesitatingly). I know it. I don't know how I know it, but I know it. I'm just a natural born detective, that's why. Richards (abruptly to Martha). Miss Peck, you made some excited remark about a big bunch of money this mornin'. (She gives a quick start.) Henry (eagerly). I can tell you all about that, Captain. Richards (scozvling at him, then to Martha), Just what did you mean by that remark ? Was it your money you was talkin' about, or — Martha (interrupts) . Oh, there's nothing to conceal. I was talking about money that was given to me to distrib- ute to charity. (Henry eagerly nods head.) Richards (disappointedly). Oh, I supposed it was a big sum of money, from what I heard. PIenry (eagerly). It was, Captain; it was. Richards (sharply, to her). How much? • Martha (impressively). Fifteen thousand dollars! (Again Henry nods head.) Richards (interested). That is quite a sum, ma'am. (Sharply.) Who gave it to you? Martha. Mr. Hudson, and a mighty fine man, sir, he is. Richards (shozvs surprise). Old Man Hudson, eh? (Brusque.) Where's the money? Martha (enjoying his increasing excitement). He didn't give it to me in money ; 'twas in checks. Henry (eagerly). Yes, sir; four checks. I seen 'em myself. 72 THE GOODFELLOW. Richards (again shozving disappointment) . Um! Have you them now ? Martha {snappishly). No, I haven't. I gave them to the people who were entitled to them. See here, Captain Richards, I know what you're hinting at, but you're barking up the wrong tree. You're trying to connect Mr. Hudson with this robbery, but you can't do it. Mr. Hudson is a mighty fine gentleman ! Henry {to her). First time I ever heard you say so. I ain't so sure he is myself. He gives me the ''creeps," that's my estimate of him. Richards {gruffly). I got a lot of information from you both, {Presses button.) But, at that, you know as much about this case as everybody else seems to. Everybody I question opens up a new line of thought for me. Enter Bacon, R. Richards. Steve, take these folks away. {To Martha aizd Henry.) You'll oblige me by stickin' around a while. I may want you later. (Martha and Henry rise. Bacon motions for them to accompany him.) Henry {to Richards, eagerly). Anything I can do. Captain, call on me. As I said before, I'm a natural born detective. I knew right away that Dawson stole that money. (Richards scowls at him and motions for Bacon to take him away.) Martha {at door R.). Captain, I'd like to give you a piece of my mind, but I won't_ because I'm too much of a lady, but you can draw your own conclusions from that re- mark, as to my general estimate of you. {E.rits disdainfully, R., followed by Henry. Bacon closes door after them, then turns to Richards.)' Bacon {smilingly). What now, Cap? Richards {gruffly). What are you laughing at? (Bacon indicates door R. with a jerk of his thumb.) Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to speak what I think of that woman. {Abruptly.) Seen anything of Stebbins yet? Bacon {growls). No! Richards. Wait! {Turns to phone — into it.) Hello, THE GOODFELLOW. 1Z Edgewood Station! (Pause.) Edgewood? Captain Rich- ards speakin'. What? Yes, I know you said you'd call me as soon as you heard anythin'. Certainly, I still want him — and want him bad. Now get busy ! (Hangs tip receiver, to Bacon.) Steve, I got a hunch that when we find Steb- bins, we get this tangle straightened out. Bacon. He never turned the trick, Cap. Richards. No? Well, you're a wise gink! If you know who did it, why don't you bring him in ? Bacon (sourly). He is in now! Richards (sarcastically) . Oh, he is, eh? Well, what do you suppose I'm askin' all these people questions for, just to hear my gentle voice? Bacon (earnestly). Cap, it ain't for me to butt in on your game, or draw cards when I ain't wanted, but if I was dealin' cards, I'd know how many Dawson was goin' to take before he told me. Richards (thoughtfully). It does look like him, for a fact. But I want to make sure. (Taps pen on desk thought- fully.) What do you know about this man Hudson? Bacon (smiles). Say, Cap, you ain't had me on the car- pet yet. Maybe I got the coin! Richards (sarcastically). Not a chance in the world. That job was done by somebody with brains. (Bacon winces.) Steve, I been kind o' stallin' along to give Steb- bins time to show, but I'm tired o' waitin' for him. Nov/ I'm goin' after 'em rough shod. Show Miss Madison in ! Bacon (at door, hesitatingly). Say, Cap, I don't think she — - Richards (roughly). You're not supposed to think. Bring her in! (Whirls about to desk.) Bacon makes a despairing gesture and exits R., imme- diately re-enters, followed by Jane and Dora. Bacon shozus them to seats alongside of desk and exits R. Jane shozvs the nervous strain she has been under, but Dora is cheerful and saucily defiant. Richards (looks" at Jane, then at Dora. To Jane, 74 THE GOODFELLOW. gruffly, indicating Dora.) I told you to come in, not a crowd ! Jane {tremulously) , I — I — didn't think it would matter, sir. Dora {to Richards, sweetly). Besides, I'm not a ''crowd." I'm just a little girl, sir. {Favors him with a bewitching smile. ) . Richards {visibly affected by her smile and pretty face). Oh, I guess it's all right; you can stick. Dora {gracious smile). Oh, thank you, sir. Stubbie's often told me that you were just the grandest man he ever met. Richards {starts). Stubbie? Stubbie Stebbins? {She nods.) Say, what do you know about him? Dora. Oh, everything — that is {shyly) he's a very par- ticular friend of mine. Richards. Oh, he is, eh? Maybe then you can tell me where I can lay my two hands on him. (Jane starts.) Dora {showing dismay). Why, I — I — haven't seen him since — Richards {growlingly) . And nobody else. {Abruptly to Jane.) Your man's confessed! {Keenly zvatches her to note effect of his words.) Jane {his words slowly dawning on her). My— my John confessed? Richards {gruffly). Yes, he's the thief! (Jane shows strong agitation.) Dora {quickly, to Jane). Don't you believe him, dearie. (Richards scowls at Dora.) Jane {getting slowly to her feet and clutching desk for support) . I don't ! I don't believe it ! It's a trick ! I've heard of such things before — your brutal police methods — I've heard of them. {Sways unsteadily.) ^ Richards {gruffly, to Jane). Sit down! {To Dora, scowling.) Shut up ! Dora (ruffled). You're a big brute ! (Richards ^cow/^.) Richards {to Jane). It's no trick. He has as much as confessed. I got a strong case against him, and it's goiri' to be stronger! (Impressively.) Miss Madison! (She THE GOODFELLOW. 75 raises her head quickly and meets his keen gaze.) Miss Madison, where did you ^ get that hundred dollar bill you gave the lad? (Dora assumes tense attitude.) Jane (wonderingly) . How did you know — I mean, it was mine to give him. Richards (leaning back zvith a sigh of satisfaction. Aside). B'gorry, 'twas a shrewd guess! Dora {springs to her feet and confronts him angrily). See here, don't you dare intimate that Jane stole that bill ! Richards {to Dora). Sit down, you little spitfire! Sit down before I arrest you for — for resisting an officer. {Chuckles. Dora sits, hut still ruffled. To Jane.) Of course I don't mean to say that you hadn't a right to give John the money, but a hundred dollar bill, especially at this time — Jane {quickly). Oh, there need be no mystery about the matter, sir. Mr. Hudson gave me the bill. (Dora nods.) Richards {starts in surprise). Hudson, eh? {Sharply.) Are you sure about that? Ja^e {wonderingly) . Why, of course-. Captain. He gave me the bill just a short time before I gave it to John, as an advance on his board. Why do you look at me so ? Richards {abruptly.) Would you know the bill if you saw it again ? Jane {doubtfully). Perhaps — I'm not sure, sir. Dora. My, but isn't this interesting! Just like stories I've read. Richards {suddenly flashing bill in Janets face). This is the bill, isn't it? Jane {taken by surprise, then looks at the bill). It looks like the one. Richards. To the best of your knowledge and belief, this is the one? • - . Jane {slowly nods head). I should say it was, sir. {Smiles sadly.) But I'm not familiar enough with bills of that denomination to take oath that it is the identical bill that was given me by Mr. Hudson. Richards. That's good enough for me. {Turning ab- ruptly to Dora.) Now, young lady, did you have anything 76 THE GOODFELLOW. to do with the mysterious disappearance of your sweet- heart Dora (startled), I— I didn't; no, sir he just run away and left me, sir. Richards (sharply). Didn't he say anythin' when he went ? Dora (eagerly). Oh, yes, sir. Richards (quickly). Well, well; come on; what did he say ? • J 1 Dora (trying hard to think). He said — he said, oh, yes. he said: 'I've got it! I've got it!" Richards (pusded) . "I've got it ! I've got it !" (Pause.) But he didn't have it, Miss. Dora (puzzled in turn). Didn't have what, sir? Richards. Didn't have his hat. Jane (to Richards). He said something to Dora about having met Mr. Hudson somewhere before, a long time ago, and — . Dora (eagerly interrupting) . Yes, that was it. That was vhat got Stubbie so excited. He remembered all of a sud- den where he'd seen Mr. Hudson before. You know, he has a peculiar habit of stroking his eyebrow. Richards. Who — Stubbie? Dora. No, Mr. Hudson. Stubbie was talking to me, then he stopped and yelled, "I've gotjt!" Richards (impatiently). Are you sure that was all he said? , Dora (wrinkling brows thoughtfully, then taps forehead zvith -finger tip). No, no; he said something else. Let me think. (Thoughtful pose.) Richards (impatiently). Come, come; out with it. inis is mighty important 1 (Eager attitude.) Bora (suddenly) . I have it. He said— he said— Richards. Yes, yes; what was it? . Dora (embarrassed). I wouldn't like to repeat it, sir. Richards (sternly). I am Captain of police, with the power of the mighty law on my side. In the name of the law which I represent, I command you to tell me, word for word, just what he said. THE GOODFELLOW. 11 Dora (resignedly). Well, if I must, I must, I suppose. He said, "Vm in a hurry; to hell with the hat!'' (Jane smiles.) Richards {dazed with the ridiculousness of her reply, then turns away to hide his mirth- twitching face. To Dora, after an instant to recover his self-possession). Miss, I apologize for forcing such pretty lips to utter such — such a wicked word. {Presses button for Bacon.) Dora {sweetly). It was nothing, sir — {embarrassed) — that is, it wouldn't be for anyone accustomed to it. Enter Bacon, R. Richards {sharply, to Bacon). Bring Hudson in! {The girls rise. Bacon exits R.) Jane. Oh, sir, I hope you don't think that Mr. Hudson is involved in this terrible affair? Dora. Impossible ! Richards {snappishly). It's not impossible! Sit down, both of you. {They sit.) This hundred dollar bill has been juggled about long enough. I want to know who belongs to it, and I'm goin' to find out. Enter Bacon, R., followed by Hudson. He carries his cane and glances sharply about the room and starts slightly as he discovers the two girls. Bacon closes door and stands with back against it. Hudson {to Richards, mildly). You wish, to see me, sir? {One hand goes slowly to an eyebrow.) Richards {brusquely). I do. {Motions for Hudson to draw nearer. You'll oblige me, Mr. Hudson, by answerin' my questions — with as little evasion as possible. (Hudson nods.) Your first name is — Hudson. Stanley, sir. Richards. Haven't been in this town long, have you? Hudson. About two weeks. Richards {sharply). Where'd you come from? Hudson {hesitatingly). From — the East, sir. Richards {growlingly). What city? {Girls show in- tense interest all through the scene.) Hudson. I came from Philadelphia, Captain. 7S THE GOODFELLOW. y RiCH'ARDS. What line of business you in? Hudson {mildly). I am engaged in no particular busi- ness just at present. Richards. Retired ? Hudson. Yes, sir; for some time, Richards. You give away large sums to charity, I un- derstand ? Hudson {quietly). Yes, I do. Is that a crime? Richards {sharply). It's suspicious — sometimes. Hudson {mildly). Dear, dear! {Strokes an eyebrow.) Richards {quick to note the action — gives a slight start). You know somethin' about this robbery affair — you've heard about it, I presume? (Hudson nods.) Read it in the pa- pers? (Hudson again nods.) Suppose you also know the accused, John Dawson? Hudson. Yes, Captain. Met him several times. Richards {suddenly snatches the hill from^ under a piece of paper and thrusts it before Hudson's face. Roars). Where did you get this? {Girls rise excitedly to feet.) Hudson {calmly surveys bill). Ah, a one hundred dollar bill ! Richards {shouts). I'm askin' you where you got it? I know what it is. Hudson {coolly). Don't get excited, Captain. If that is the same bill that I gave to Miss Madison last evening, it must be the same one I got from Meadows' bank. {Both girls show marked agitation.) Richards {astounded). You- — you admit that you got this bill from Meadows' bank? Hudson {calmly). Certainly. What disturbs you so, Captain ? Richards {gaspingly). Well — of all — the — damn — nerve! {Shouts.) Have you the audacity to stand there and — {gasps for breath). Hudson {mildly). My dear Captain, you are agitated. Calm yourself. Is a hundred dollar bill such a rarity to you that close contact with one drives you insane? Richards {bangs desk with hst, then springs to his feet. Roars). I'll show you whether I'm crazy or not. I'll — THE GOODFELLOW. 79 Hudson (mildly). Dear, dear! My dear Captain, I entreat you, be calm. You are evidently laboring under slight mis- take. Permit me to rectify it. Richards (slowly seats himself. Grimly). Go ahead! (Dryly.) I've listened before — to rectifiers. Hudson. Very good, sir. We'll admit for argument's sake that the bill on your desk is the identical one I gave to Miss Madison, although, it is a difficult matter to identify it as such unless it has either been marked in some manner or unless the number has been previously noted. (Sharply.) Do you happen to know the number of that bill, Captain? Richards (taken back). No — I don't. Hudson (quickly). Very good again. Does the bill bear any distinguishing mark which would serve to identify it? Richards (looking at bill, then at him, doubtfully) . Not — not that I know of. Hudson (smiles). All right. Captain, you'd have a mighty hard proposition on your hands in proving that it was the same bill that passed through my hands, if I wanted to be obstinate. But I'm only too willing to be of service to you. These ladies here (indicating Jane and Dora) will testify that they heard Mr. Meadows say this morning that in exchange for a draft which I presented to him he handed me $500 — six fifty dollar bills and two one hundred dollar bills. (To Jane awd Dora.) Am I correct, ladies? Dora (to Richards, eagerly). That is right. Captain. Jane (just as eagerly). Absolutely, sir! (Hudson smiles his thanks.) Richards (dumbfounded at the turn things have taken). Well, I'll be — (stops suddenly, stares blankly at Hudson and the girls and then at the bill.) Hudson (smiles, then raises a hand to an eyebrow). Very simple. Captain, isn't it? Richards (again noting with a start his action). Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. I'm not licked yet. (Sharply to Hudson.) I don't get this eyebrow thing of yours. Hudson (starts) . I don't believe I quite gather what you mean, Captain. 80 THE GOODFELLOW. Richards (explosively). You get me all right! This is what I mean. (Strokes eyebrow in imitation of Hudson.) Hudson (smiles easily and then strokes his eyebrow). Dear, dear ! Excited again, and over such a trifling matter. Is it considered a crime in your category for one to caress an eyebrow? See, I wipe my lips with my handkerchief, so. (Does so.) , What dire punishment now befalls me for so heinous a crime as that, Captain? (Smiles sarcastically.) Richards (growlingly) . You're only "kiddin' " yourself , not me. I'm goin' to hold you until a certain party shows, then maybe I'll have the last laugh. (To Bacon^ zvho all through foregoing scene has stood at door R. displaying intense interest.) Steve, bring in all interested parties in this case. (Bacon salutes and exits R.) Hudson (to Richards, menacingly) . I wouldn't do any- thing to be sorry for, if I were you, Captain. (Jane and DoRA_, L. C, in excited pantomime conversation.) Richards (grimly). Don't you worry. I won't be sorry. Hudson (slightly ill at ease). I have heard of Russian police methods, but this is the tlnited States of America. Richards (Jry/y). I know my geography, Mr. Hudson. Hudson. But you can't hold me. Richards. I know I can't — but I will. (Hudson winces.) Enter Bacon, R., followed ?7y. Martha, Henry, Mead- ows and Woodstock. They group about the door tenta- tively. Meadows glares angrily at Hudson, who stands R. of desk. Richards (to Meadows). Mr. Meadows, this man here (indicates Hudson) claims that you cashed a draft for him yesterday. Right ? Meadows (grudgingly) . Yes, I did. Richards. You gave him — (pauses, considts paper on desk ) . Meadows. Six fifty dollar bills and two one hundred dol- lar bills. I always remember, sir ; I always remember. (Miser business. Richards picks up pen and thoughtfidly taps it on desk. Jane flashes a quick signal to Bacon, who goes swiftly to her at L. C.) THE GOODFELLOW. 81 Jane {to Bacon suh rosa). You promised to be my friend. John — where is he? Bacon {aside to her). I'll bring him in if I lose my job. {Crosses swiftly to L. and exits.) Richards {suddenly throwing down pen, whirls about to phone; into it). Hello! Central double six two! {Pause.) Hello ! ''Mornin' Growl ?" Captain Richards speakin'. Steb- bins there? No? {Disappointedly.) O, ain't seen him, eh? No, neither have I. Say, first sight you get of him shoot him over here, will you ? Sure — first thing. {Bangs receiver on hook, then turns to Hudson with an undecided air.) Mr. Hudson, you got me plumb up a tree. {Scowls.) Enter Bacon and John^ L. Jane and Dora greet him silently. Bacon crosses to door R. Hudson {smiles). Which means that I am at liberty to go ? Thanks, Captain. I bear no ill will for the unkind things you've thrown my way, and I'm sorry that you are "plumb up a tree." {Turns to depart, with Richards undecided whether to permit him to go or to detain him.) Enter Stubbie, R. He hursts excitedly and hatless into the room, stops C, looking quickly all about and breathing heavily. All start with surprise. Dora {springs forward delightedly). Oh, Stubbie! Stubbie {thrusts her gently to one side). Just a moment, little girl. {To Bacon, indicating Hudson, who is edging toward door R.) Stop him, Steve! (Bacon blocks door- way.) Richards {rising, to Stubbie, explosively). Say, what is this — Stubbie {interrupting sharply). I know what I'm doing, Cap. {Hurriedly.) I've been chasing my head off for five hours — that's why I know. That man — {pointing at Hud- son) is Blinkie Bowers, known in police circles as the ''phi- lanthropist crook!" {All exclaim, and display agitation. Hudson, after a quick start of guilt, gazes quickly about, as if seeking an opening for escape.) Richards {with a swift, keen glance at Hudson. To 82 THE GOODFELLOW. Stubbie). You're wrong, kid. Blinkie Bowers is a young man. Stubbie (makes a quick dash to Hudson and jerks off his wig and beard). There you are, Captin. There's your young man. (Hudson now appears as a prepossessing young man of about thirty. Again all exclaim and show agitation, then Meadows, with a wild scream, fastens his gaze upon Hudson in transfixed horror.) Meadows {half screaming). It's he! My nephew! The man I hate and fear above everything in this terrible world ! {Grovels in terror on floor C.) Hudson {calmly and looking coldly at Meadows). Yes, for once in your rotten, miserable existence, you are right. I am Stanley Widdf ord, your nephew — God pity me ! {Raises a hand to an eyebrow.) Stubbie {to Richards, excitedly). There, Captain, do you see that? That's what first put me wise. (Looks down at Meadows.) But this is a new phase of the thing. I didn't know they were related. (Hurriedly.) About three years ago I was a police reporter on the Boston Press-Dispatch. One day this man was before a magistrate, charged with burglary. They didn't have the goods on him and they had to let him go. But the man's cool assurance and the peculiar way he had of stroking his eyebrows were deeply impressed upon me. This morning it all came back to me, and I've been burning the wires to cinch my case against him. That's about all, Cap. (Dora smiles proudly at him. Jane presses John^s arm and smiles up in his fdce.) Meadows (groveling on floor, screams) . It's not all ! He's a robber. A villain! Make him give me back my money — my beautiful money! (Hudson turns from him in loathing.) Richards (to Hudson, triumphantly) . Well, Mr. Blinkie Bowers, anythin' to say? Hudson (calmly and taking C). Yes, Captain — just a few words. I am Blinkie Bowers. Now what are you going to do about it? Richards (nonplussed). What am I — say, what about this last job here? THE GOODFELLOW. 83 Hudson (calmly). There was no money stolen from m}/ uncle's safe. (All show surprise.) Meadows (screams). You lie! You lie! You stole my money ! Hudson (ignoring Meadows. To Richards). Captain, my friend Stebbins has spoken nothing- but th.e truth. I am known as Blinkie Bowers, the philanthropist crook. I steal from the "poor rich" and give it to the "rich poor." By "poor rich" I refer to such scum of the earth as that. (Indicates Meadows.) The "rich poor" I never have trouble in locating through the medium of numerous Mar- tha Pecks. (Smiles at her.) I never stole for personal profit • — merely for the thrill of it and the pleasure of philan- thropy. That's all, Captain, except to add that my uncle is mistaken. (Impressively.) He will tell you that his moiiey was mislaid — and not stolen. (Puts right hand in inside pocket.) Meadows. I tell you, he lies ! He stole my money ! (Miser business.) Hudson (drawing out his hand, in which is a packet of old letters. He holds it so that only Meadows and the audi- ence can see). My dear uncle, you are mistaken. You lost no money! Think now! (Taps package significantly.) Meadows (eyes on package in terror, brokenly). No — I — was mistaken ! I remember now. There was no money in the safe! No money — no money! (Slyly leers at the others, then mumbles.) No money — no beautiful money! (Walks tremblingly to Woodstock.) Richards (bangs a Ust on deck and glares angrily at Meadows). Then what in the name of Patrick Henry did you start someth.in' you couldn't finish? (Turns to the oth- ers appealingly.) Say, can you beat it? Can — you — beat — it ! (Drops disgustedly into his chair.) Meadows (brokenly mumbles). There was no money — there was no money. (Grasps Woodstock's arm for support and totters to door R., mumbling as he exits.) No money — no money! (Exit, supported by Woodstock.) Stubbie (sub rosa to Hudson). What's the thing you 84 THE GOODFELLOW. pulled on the old uncle to ever make him forget twenty thousand dollars? Hudson (sub rosa to Stubbie^ shozving, letters hurriedly). These ! Letters written years ago by the one human being that I hold sacred above all — and everything ! He held them to blackmail her. He knows I could ruin him if I wished, that's why he ''welched." (Stubbie smiles, puts out his hand and they clasp hands fervently.) Jane {to John). I knew you were innocent, John. Your only crime was being a "goodfellow." John {to Jane). Yes, dear, and I've had my lesson. (Kisses her.) You've shown me that there is another mean- ing to the term of ''goodfellow." Dora {to Stubbie, pulling him azvay from Hudson). Stubbie Stebbins, I'm proud of you, {Shakes his hand vig- orously.) Hudson {to Richards). Captain, I may go? Richards {doubtfully). I'm not so sure that you can — Stubbie {stepping forward, to Richards). I am. Cap. Read this. {Extends a telegram.) Richards {quick glance at it). That appears to be a clean slate for him all right. {To Hudson.) You can go, but — {shakes head significantly, then waves him away. Hudson slowly bozvs head, furns and goes to door R., turns and smiles sadly at all. His right hand goes to h^ right eyebrow in a grave salute and farezvell and he exits R. Then comes the tap-tap of his stick on the stone zvalk. Tense pause, all listening to the sound of his cane. Rich- ards with a sigh, referring to Hudson). There goes the big chance to get me a reputation. Stubbie {cheerfully). You've nothing on me. Cap. There goes the greatest "scoop" I've run across in years — and / could have had it. Martha {at door R.). He's the grandest man I ever met. {Sighs heavily and exits.) Henry {at door R.). Blinkie Bowers! Gosh, no wonder he gave me the "creeps!" {Exits.) Bacon {at door R.). Cap, I'm goin' out and find me a job drivin' truck. If I find two jobs I'll save you one. THE GOODFELLOW. 85 (Richards winces and pretends to busy himself zvith pen. Bacon exits. John^ Jane^ Dora and Stubbie come to desk.) John {to Richards). Captain, I suppose I'll have to be your guest a while longer, but — Jane {pleadingly) . Can't he go with me. Captain? I'll see that he appears when wanted. (Dora smiles at Richards.) Richards. He can go, but he'll have to be in court at ten tomorrow for a few minutes. (Jane^ Dora and John shake his hand and then turn to depart, followed by Stub- bie. The first three exeunt and Stubbie is just about to exit, when — Richards calling). Oh, Stebbins. (Stub- bie comes back to desk.) Stebbins, how did Blinkie know the combination? Stubbie. He didn't. I forgot to mention that Bowers can open any safe ever made by manipulating the combina- tion. But of course he didn't open the Meadows safe. {Winks solemnly.) Richards {dryly). No — of course not. Stebbins, the law is a bad thing to monkey with, but sometimes you can wink at it and get away with it. Now here's where I wink at the law ! {Solemnly close right eye zvith an exaggerated wink. Stubbie grasps his hand, both smile broadly, to — ) Curtain. Catchy Son^s in A Rustic Romeo I WANT A BIG-TOWN GIRL There is always some excite- ment To be found in New York town ; I want to learn to be a sport And turn things upside down. I want to win a pile of tin And hear the popping cork; I'll be a good chap, not a coun- try yap. When I strike old New York. PRETTY GIRLS Listen, listen, a secret I'll un- fold. Listen, listen, you're worth your weight in gold. It's love that turns the world around, Bright eyes and dainty curls. There's nothing on the earth that can Compare with pretty girls. One night I took a stroll, 'twas in September. A starlit night, no moon in sight, I saw a figure neat, if I remem- ber, Stroll in the park, 'twas rather dark. She sat alone upon a bench ap- pearing weary. As I went by, she heaved a sigh, I kissed her as I said, "Good evening, dearie!" I took a look. A negro cook! Listen, listen, she started after me, Bawling, bawling, "I'm your affinity;" It's love that turns the world around. Bright eyes and dainty curls. But I must draw the color line When kissing pretty girls. I'M FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN A sweet dainty widoW, with sweet dainty ways, I'm on the lookout for a man; And though I had two and each one did skidoo I'm doing the best that I can To find me a third. I want a sweet boy To shield me from worry and strife. And surely in all this big bunch out in front There's someone who wants a nice wife. Chorus. I'm head over heels in the ocean of love, Now one of you horrible men Please be a life saver and throw me a line, I'm faling in love again. JOHN JABEZ' WEDDING Then we'll have a country din- ner. Oyster pie and cold pigs' feet. For I know John Jabez' wed- ding Will be mighty hard to beat. Uncle Ted'll play the fiddle, Marthy Patt she will pi-ann, "Swing yer pardners to the middle," Old maid Jen has caught a man. "We gave 'A Rustic Romeo' and it was a great success. It is the best play for amateurs I have ever seen." — Sue H. Taylor, East Radford, Va. "I played a part in 'A Rustic Romeo' when it was given here last spring and it was certainly a wonderful play." — Harold E. Gilland, Clearfield, Pa. " 'A Rustic Romeo' was well received and praised very highly by the audience." — W. L. Roper, Anna, Texas. "A splendid musical drama. A record-breaking crowd wit- nessed 'A Rustic Romeo.' The play was a good one and the applause well merited." — Journal, Hannibal, Mo. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO A Rustic Romeo By WALTER BEN HARE. Price, 25 Cents A musical comedy in 2 acts, 10 males, 12 females. Only 5 m. and 4 f. have lines. The rest are in the chorus. It can be played by 5 m., 4 f., eliminating the chorus. It will prove equally successful when produced without music. Time, 214 hours. Scenes: 1 exterior, 1 interior. Characters: John Jabe Doolittle, the would- be heart smasher of Chowderville. Hink Spinny, who peddles tinware, woodenware and hardware everywhere. Sid Roberts, who longs for the "Great White Way." Azariah* Figg, , storekeeper. Grandpaw Blue, the oldest inhabitant. Evalina Tupper, the vil- lage belle. Miss Dee, a lovelorn critter. Mrs. Spriggs, looking for the third. Honeysuckle Spriggs, her little sunbeam. The Chowderville fire brigade and its charming society leaders, con- stitute the chorus. Contains ten exceptionally clever songs, hu- morous and sentimental. "I Want a Big-Town Girl" is set to original music. The remainder are sung to familiar college airs. "Pretty Girls," "I'm Falling in Love Again," "Moonlight Sere- nade," "John Jabe's Wedding," "Over the Banister." "The Chow- der Fire Brigade," "Gay Manhattan," "Love's Waltz" and "On the Fourth of July." A most interesting plot wound about the events of a small town, which keeps one's interest keen until Figg finally locates his $70.00 and John Jabe gets a wife. This play is a decided novelty. Directions are given with the songs, explaining in detail how the chorus may be drilled to march, form figures, pictures, etc., which are very effective, yet in the range of amateurs. A clever stage director should make this show equal most metropolitan successes. Especially recommended for col- lege productions. Professional stage rights reserved and a royalty of five dollars required for amateur performance. SYNOPSIS. Act I. — Chowderville on a busy day. Honeysuckle and St Cecelia astonish the rubes. The boy whose father was bad "Do I look like a tall-grass sister?" Miss Dee, a lone, lorn critter, tells of the awfulness of the world. The village belle and the Rustic Romeo. "Girls, girls, girls!' A matrimonial advertisement from a clinging little blonde -named Golden-haired Flossie. Hink Spin- ney tries to propose to Evalina. "If I only had $70!" Mrs Spriggs astonishes the natives. "I'll make you think a Kansas tornado has struck your town." A moonlight serenade. The robbery. "Who stole my $70?" Act II. — John Jabe's hotel on the Fourth of July. A country wedding. Honeysuckle and the four rubes. "Skidoo is New York talk for scat." The Fairfield Road folks come to the wedding. Miss Dee's wedding present, a bottle of Miggins' Stomach Balm, good "fer every ailment in the human cistern." An unwilling bridegroom. Figg catches the thief— almost. The Chowder fire brigade. A suspicious bride with a temper Deserted on her weddmg morn. "We'll be as happy as two little twin cubebs." A double wedding and divided wedding presents. Figg recovers his $70. Patriotic finale: On the Fourth of July. "We played 'A Rustic Romeo' a few nights ago to a packed house. A dandy play for amateurs."— Tom Conley, Luling, Texas. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO As a Woman Thinketh By EDITH F. A. U. PAINTON. Price, 25 Cents Comedy of the period, 3 acts; 9 males, 7 females. Time, 2Va hours. Scenes: 2 interiors. Characters: Charles Weeden, just an every-day husband. Rev. Dunning a pastor of the past. Will Weeden, the son, a bit wild. Caleb Mead, Olive's husband. Jack Philley, Beth's old playmate. Chip, an alleged diamond in the rough. Jotham, the man of all work. Dr. Hume, not quite an old fogy. Prof. Majarajah, a Hindu lecturer on psychology. Mrs. Weeden, a mother of the period. Beth, Dolly and Olive, the Weedens' daughters. Mrs. Parker, of the modern science club. Mrs. Dunning, an italicized echo. Suke, the colored cook. SYNOPSIS. Act I. — RESOLUTION. Mrs. Weeden undertakes to clean up. The pastor reminds her of her duty. "You are responsible for your family." A Hindu professor of philosophy. She learns of her subconscious mind. Her declaration of independence. Act II. — REVOLUTION. The campaign opened. The family learn of virtues they were unaware of possessing. "Papa, what ails her?" "Is she crazy?" The professor helps "drive the nail." According to your faith. Act III. — EVOLUTION. The pastor comes to investigate. "It's a miracle." A happy home grows out of existing chaos. A humor- ous turn of affairs. Duped by an imposter. "Whoever he was, he was a Hindu to me." A renewed honeymoon. "As a woman think- eth in her heart." A Southern Cinderella By WALTER BEN HARE. Price, 25 Cents Comedy drama in 3 acts; 7 females. Tim.e, 2 hours. Scene: 1 interior. Characters: Madame Charteris, an old aristocrat. Enid Bellamy, * a Southern Cinderella. Rosie Winterberry, a famous settlement worker. Miss Johnnie Bell Randolph, a little coquette. Katherine Hawke, an English nurse. Caroline Hawke, her sis- ter, an adventuress. Mammy Judy Johnson, a black blue -grass widow. SYNOPSIS. Act I. — The two Hawkes have their daily quarrel. "Dis yere bein' a widow woman is powerful lonesome." "The cream-col- ored pick ob de unplucked colored aristocracy.'^ A mission of mercy. Madame refuses to receive her grandchild. Love con- quers pride and Enid comes home. Act II. — The plotting of the Hawkes. Madame makes a new will. Mammy Jv;dy deserted at the altar. "Ober 'leben dollars spent and not eben one cream-colored kiss." The death of Mad- ame. The burning of the will. "The Charteris fortune belongs to me." „ Act III.^Katherine and her Paris creation. "Take some of dat tail-fixin' and put it ober your shoulders." Enid mistreated. A will turns up. A Southern Cinderella comes into her own and goes to the ball. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given M. F. Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 Fudge and a Burglar, IS min.. 5 Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 30 min .. 6 10 Great Doughnut Corporation, 30 min 3 5 Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 Happy Pair, 25 min I 1 I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 min 3 2 My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... 4 3 My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. 3 3 My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 Only Cold Tea. 20 min...... 3 3 Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 Smith, the Aviator, 40 min... 2 3 Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 min. 3 6 Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 8 Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 Which Will He Marry? 20 min. 2 8 Who Is Who? 40 min 3 2 Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. M. F. Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 Five Minutes from Yell Col- lege, 15 min.. 2 For Reform, 20 min 4 Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 Hey, Rube ! 1 5 min 1 Home Run, 15 min 1 1 Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 'Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 Mistaken Miss, 20 min. 1 1 Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min. 4 2 One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 Oyster Stew, 10 min o.. 2 Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 min 1 Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 Recruiting Office, 15 min 2 Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 Si and I, 15 min 1 Special Sale, 15 min 2 Stage Struck Darky, 10 min., 2 1 Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 Time Table, 20 min 1 1 Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 15 min 1 Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 Who Gits de Reward? 30 min. 5 1 A great number of Standard and Amateur Plays not found here are listed in Denlson's Catalogue T.S.DENISON&COIVIPANY,Publishers.154W.RandolphSt., Chicago LIBRARY OF CONGRESS POPULAR ENTERTAIN Price, Illustrated Paper Cove TN this Series are found books touching every feature in the enter- tainment field. Finely made, good paper, clear print and each book has an attractive individual cov- er design. DIALOGUES All Sorts of Dialogues. Selected, fine for older pupils. Catchy Comic Dialogues. Very celver; for young people. Children's Comic Dialogues. From six to eleven years of age. Dialogues for District Schools. For country schools. Dialogues from Dickens. Thirteen selections. The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. Over 50,000 copies sold. From Tots to Teensr Dialogues and recitations. Humorous Homespun Dialogues. For older ones. Little People's Plays. From 7 to 13 years of age. Lively Dialogues. For all ages; mostly humorous. Merry Little Dialogues. Thirty-eight original selections. When the Lessons are Over. Dialogues, drills, plays. Wide Awake Dialogues. Brand new, original, successful. SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES Choice Pieces for Little People. A child's speaker. The Comic Entertainer. Recitations, monologues, dialogues. Dialect Readings. Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. The Favorite Speaker. Choice prose and poetry. The Friday Afternoon Speaker. For pupils of all ages. Humorous Monologues. Particularly for ladies. Monologues for Young Folks. Clever, humorous, original. Monologues Grave and Gay. Dramatic and humorous. The Patriotic Speaker. Master thoughts of master minds. 017 401 The For reading or speaking. Pomes ov the Peepul,. Wit, humor, satire, funny poems. Scrap- Book Recitations. Choice collectioniS, pathetic, hu- morous, descriptive, prose, poetry, 14 Nos., per No. 25c, DRILLS The Best Drill Book. Very popular drills and marches. The Favorite Book of Drills. Drills that sparkle with originality. Little Plays With Drills. For children frorn 6 to 11 years. The Surprise Drill Book. Fresh, novel, drills and marches. SPECIALTIES The Boys' Entertainer. Monologues, dialogues, drills. Children's Party Book. Plans, invitations, decorations, games. The Days We Celebrate. Entertainments for all the holidays. Good Things for Christmas. Recitations, dialogues, drills. Good Things for Thanksgiving. A gem of a book. Little Folks" Budget. Easy pieces to speak, songs. One Hundred Entertainments. New parlor diversions, socials. Patriotic Celebrations. Great variety of material. Pranks and Pastimes. Parlor games for children. Private Theatricals. How to put on plays. Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, Charades, and how to prepare. Tableaux and Scenic Readings. New and novel; for all ages. Twinkling Fingers and Sway- ing Figures. For little tots, Yuletide Entertainments. A choice Christmas collection. MINSTRELS, JOKES Black American Joker. Minstrels' and end men s gags. A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. Monologues, stump speeches, etc. Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. A merry trip for fun tourists. Negro Minstrels. All about the business. The New Jolly Jester. Funny stories, jokes, ga gs, etc. Large Illustrated Catalogue Free T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W.Randolph St., Chicago