^^ t^ . «vC new hat and cote and go with me in the carrige — anc in the middle of the everlastin rumpus, I like to cut my nose off with the razer ! Bimeby though, things all settled down into a pretty considerable calm. Ned cotcht the horses — the harness was brung home — the wheels was greased — th*» kee MAJOR JONESES TRAVELS. 33 was found rite whar Mary had put it herself— little Harry stopped cryin — my nose stopped bleedin, and breckfust was sot ; but after all ther wasn't one could eat a mouthful, spite of all the 'swadin old Miss Stallins could do. Mary tuck on considerable, pore gall ; though she tried to hide it all she could. She didn't have much to say, but she looked monstrous droopy; and when- ever I tried to cheer her up by tellin her I wouldn't stay no longer than I could help, her lips would sort o' quiver, and she'd turn round to tend to the baby or something ; but when she looked at me agin, her long eyelashes was damp with tears. Ah ! Mr. Thompson, me and you know how to predate the deep pure fount- ing irom whar them tears flowed — we married men know how to vally the ever-gushin feelins of a true woman's hart, which, like the waters of the spring what no summer can't dry up and no winter freeze, is cool- est when the day is hottest and grows warmer when the world grows cold. I felt monstrous bad myself, but it wouldn't do to let on, for I know'd it would only make her worse. By this time old Mr. Mountgomery, and cousin Pete, and a heap more nabors, and all the niggers on the plantation, was come to bid me good-by. Old Termi- nation, my driver, was mounted on the box, with his clean clothes on, and a bran new lash to his whip, the proudest nigger you ever did see. He couldn't notice none of the rest of 'em for his shirt collar, but if any of the little niggers come too close to his team, axin him to by 'em something in Augusty, he was monstrous, apt to anser 'em with a little tetch of the lash. When the trunks was tied on, and old Miss Stallins was sure ther wasn't nothin forgot — which she sed slie tnow'd ther would be — I went through the shakin hands with the nabors. 34 MAJOR Jones's travels. '* Good by, Majer," ses old Mr. Mountgnmery, " 1 wish you a plesant jurny and a safe return." " Thank you," s.is I. " Good by, Joe," ses Pete — " don't you git in no ass witk them abolitionists — if you do, old feller, you won't find no frends thar, mind I tell you." " Don't you fear for me," ses I — ^' Good by, and take care of yourself." " Good by, Majer," ses all of 'em, as they shuck my hand. Then here come all the niggers. *^ Good by, Massa Joe," ses all of 'em. " Good by," ses I, '' and be good niggers till I come bark " '' Don't let none of dem pesky old bobolitionists kotch you, Massa Joe," ses Prissy. " Massa Joe, massa Joe, ant Moma say cum da!" ses one of the little niggers. Pore old Moma was the fust nigger my father ever owned. She's more'n a hundred years old now, and her bed's as white as the cotton she use' to pick for us when she was a gall. She's been monstrous porely this winter, and hain't been able to go out of her little house in the yard, whar she's lived ever sense she was too old to do anything on the plantation. She was 'fraid I was gwine off without bidden her good by, and that's the reason she sent for me. She was settin in the door when I went to her, and she raised her old dim eyes, almost white with age, and looked at me. " Why, Massa Joe, God bless you; you gwine away widout tellin pore ole Moma good by? — ole Moma what use to nuss you, when you was leetle baby like leetle massa Harry. Moma no able run after Massa Joe now — maybe ole Moma neber see you gin. Pore ole Moma, lib too long — make trouble for white fokes ; Init Moma's time mose come." " No, no, Moma," ses I, " you mustn't talk that* " Old Moma was sittin' in the door when Major Jones went to her, and she raised her old dim eyes, almost white with age, and looked at him. ' Why, Massa Joe, God bless you; you gwine away widout telliu' poor old Moma good-by ?' "—Letter Vn.p. 34. MAJou Jones's travels. 35 Away. Y'^u know you aint no trouble to us, and you was always a good servant." The pore old creeter brightened up, and tried to smile. '' Good by, Moma," ses I, as I tuck her pore old hand in mine; "take good care of yourself till I cum home, and let your young misses know w^henever you want any thing. Good by, old nigger." " Bless ye, bless ye, Massa Joe — bless Miss Mary and leetle massa Harry. God bless you all — good by." The faithful old creeter tried to press my hand, but she was too weak, and when I let go her hand it drapt into her lap, and she follered me with her eyes as far as she could see me through her tears. Then cum the kissin bisness. I took the worst job fust, and kissed old Miss Stallins and mother. I didn't mind kissin mother, cause it seemed all right and natural; but I always did hate to kiss old wimmin what hain't got no teeth, and I was monstrous glad old Miss Stallins had her handkerchef to her face, for in the hurryment I kissed it, and the old woman was in such a flustration she didn't know her lips from any thing else. I kissed the galls two or three times a piece, rite afore cousin Pete, who smacked his lips, and looked sort o' cross-eyed every time. But when I cum to look for Mary, she was gone in the house. Thar she was, sittin in her rockin chair, leanin her face on her hand, and the tears runnin down her cheeks in a stream. When I got close to her she riz up and put her arms round my neck. 1 can't tell you what she sed, nor how many, nor how long, nor how sweet them kisses was. Them's famly aflairs, and ain't for nobody to know. After she dried her eyes as well as she could, she went with me to the carrige. Prissy was holdin little Harry reddy for his kiss. I tuck the little feller in my arms and gin him one good lor 36 MAJOR Jones's travels. squeeze, and then got in. Termination poppea his whip and away he went, leavin Mary and all of 'era cryin cause I was gone, and the baby kickin anc' squaUin like rath cause he couldn't go too. Separashuns is monstrous tryin things to peeple what ain't use to 'em, and I couldn't help feelin very sollum- colly all the way to Augusty. The rode is one of the lonesummest in the world, and I never was so put to it to keep my sperits up. Ther was nothin new or interrestin to attract my 'tention, and whenever I thought bout home the worse I felt. Mary's partin injunkshuns was still soundin in my ears, and when- ever I shut my eyes I could see her standin on the piazzy lookin after me, with the grate big tears runnin down her cheeks, and sparklin like dimonds in her curls, that was hangin in disorder 'bout her sweet face ; and then thar was little Harry puttin out his dear little arms and cryin like his hart would brake, cause he couldn't ride in the carriage with me. It wouldn't do to think of fhem things, so I tried to sing, and the fust thing I know'd, 1 was hummin the song what begins : Ther's meetins of pleasure and partins of grief, But a inconstant loveyer is worse nor a thief; A thief he will rob you, and steal all you have, But a inconstant loveyer'U take you to the grave. You mustn't think that song was suggested by any jellous fears on ray part ; no indeed, not by a jug full : but you know how wimmin will talk sumtimes on sich occasions. They say a heap, jest to see what you'll say. I got here about noon and stopped at the Globe Hotel, and sent Termination back home with the car- rige. Pore feller, he hated to leave me monstrous, and when he shuck hands with me, he couldn't hardly Boeak, and his eyes looked like two peeled unions " Then cum the kissiu' business. I took the worst job fust, and kissed old Miss Stallins and mother, and then kissed the gals two or three times a-piece, all around." — Letter \n.p. 3'). swimmin in their own juice. " Good bye, Massa Joe," ses he, " but don't stay away from Miss Mary long, if you spec to see her live when you cum back." After dinner I tuck a walk down the street to set the town. Augusty's a monstrous pretty city, but i< ain't the place it used to was, not by a grate site It seems like it was rottin off at both eends, and ain't growin much in the middle ; and the market-houses what a few years ago you couldn't hardly see for the wagons, looks more like pretty considerable large mar- tin-boxes standin in the middle of the grate wide street, than places of bisness. The peeple that laid out the city must been monstrous wide between the eyes, and made very large calculations for bisness ; for they've got it stretch'd out over ground enuff to make two or three sich towns, and Broad street, whar the stores is, is wide enuff for the merchants to charge exchange from one side to tother. I see by the papers that they're gwine to dig a big canal, as they call it, and turn the river up stream into the common, so they can go into the mannyfacterin of cotton. That's a sort of bisness I don't know nothin about, and I can't say how it'll turn out, but there's one thing very cer- tain, and that is, if the Augusty people don't do some- thing to start bisness agoin agin, all the houses in the city won't rent for enuff to feed 'em. The fact is, if the people of Georgia don't take to makin homespun and sich truck for themselves, and quit their everlastin fuss 'bout the tariff and free trade, the fust thing they'll know, the best part of their popilation will be gone to the new States, and what'll be left won't be able to raise cotton enuff to pay for what they'll have to buv from the North. The fust man I met in Broad-street was Mr. Peleg. " Why, hellow, Majer Jones," ses he, " what's brung you to town?" I told him I was gwine to the North. 38 MAJOR Jones's travels. " Well !" ses he, " Majer, you must spend a day with us, enny how, and I'll interduce you to some of my friends here. They're all admirers of your's, and would be very glad of a oppertunity to make youi acquaintance." Well, I walked along with Mr. Peleg to his storo, and on the way he interduced me to 'bout twenty gen- tlemen, most all of 'em Pelegs. 'Mong the rest, Mr. Peleg introduced me to Doctor Klag, perfesser of ho> ticulteral science in Augusty. Mr. Peleg told me that die doctor was the greatest man in his line in them parts, for he could make trees g7'ow twice in two places. Dr. Klag certainly looks like he might be a genus of "•ome sort, and seems to be very much tuck up with his perfession, for the fust thing he sed to me was some- thing 'bout cedars and arbor-vites, what he sed he'd warrant not to dy. Ther was some mistake about it, which wasn't very clearly explained by Mr. Peleg. The Doctor's got one very curious sort of a oyster- lookin eye, and tother one has a kind of sky-rakin look, so you can't tell what upon yeath he's lookin at. He sed he'd call agin, and Mr. Peleg and me stepped into a watch store whar ther was some more Pelegs, and then, rite next door, we went in whnr ther was a lot more of 'em. They was all very gidd to see me, and invited me to come up to Mr. Lampblack's that evenin, to hear a lecture on the moon, by some great [)erfesser, whose name I've forgot. They all seemed like monstrous clever fellers, but I couldn't see how upon yeath they was all named Pelegs, for they didn't look no more alike than any body else. But jest be- fore tea, my old frend Whiskers, what scared Mary so up to Athens, you know, (would you beiieve it, Mr. Thompson, every bit of his sorrel hair drap't out when he read that Athens letter of mine, and now it's grow'd all out as black as your hat!) come round to see me and told me aP about the Pelegs. 89 Well, they is the devilishest set of feiiers for piaym tricks on peeple ever was trumped up any whar, ycm may depend. Every now and then they're ketchin up some green feller, and puttin him tliroo, as they call it. I'll jest give ycu a instance. T'other day one of General Kittledrum's lutenants come over from South Carolina to git up a singin skool in Augusty. He brung his commishun from the Guvernor as a recommendation. That was enuff for the Pelegs, who tuck him in hand and soon got up all sorts of a skool for him. He had 'bout a hunderd of 'em down on his list, at twenty-five dollars a quarter, in no time. The feller was almost out of his senses at the idee of makin his fortin so soon, and was willin to do any thino- the Pelegs sed was necessary to stablish his repetation as a music-master. In the fust place, they tuck him into a back room and made him put his hands on the globes, and swore him 'bout his faith in certain doctrinal pints which they sed was very imfc/lant in a singin master. One of 'em red out, in a very solem voice, bout the rain fallin upon the yeath forty days and forty nites ; and then another one sed to him, "Lutenant Odin, with your rite hand on the celestial globe and your left hand on the terestial globe, do you swar to that?" Ses he, *'I do." Then they swore him bout Samson kilhn the Fillistines with the jaw-bone of a jackass, and bout Faro and his host gettin swallered up in the Red Sea, and a heap of other things. Then, after puttin^ him throo the manuel exercise for bout two owers, nte m the brilin sun, they sed he must give 'em a specymen of his vokel powers at the theati 5, before all his skollers. Well, they rigged him out on the stage, and had him howlin all manner of meeters and kees, and givin ex- pianashuns, afore a whole theater full of Pelegs, tdJ they got tired of the fun, when the fust thing the feller knowd, a man stepped on the stage, and rested him 40 MAJOR Jones's travels. for hos steelin, rite in the middle of Old Hunderd, or a high kee. The pore feller was skared almost tc deth^ and swore he never tuck a horse nor nothin else what didn't belong to him, in all his born days — he tuck out his comishun and show'd the guvernor's hand-ritin. But all he could do or say didn't signify nothin. The constable tuck him to a room whar the Pelegs hold their courts, and thar they put him throo a reglar trial, and made a convicted hos theaf out of him by the strongest kind of testimony. Some of the Pelegs was his frends, and done all they could for him; but it was no use — he was condem'd to be hung according to Carolina law, and was to be sent to jail to wait till the day of execu- tion. The pore feller trembled so he couldn't hardly stand, and the swet started out of his face like he'd been mawlin rails all day. His frends told him his only chance was to escape when they was takin him to jail, and promised that they'd try to git him loose from the constable, and then he must run across the bridge into Carolina as if the very old Harry was after him. Shore enuff, when they got him near the bridge, his frends got him away from the constable, and a straiter coat-tail than he made across that old bridge, was never seed in Georgia. And that's the last that's ever been seed or heard of Lutenant Odin, the singin master. 1 spected something wasn't rite when I seed so many of 'em ; but they know who to project with. They didn't git me to go to none of their lecters on the moon, mmd I tell you. I'm gwine in the morning to Charleston. It's mon- strous late, and the rale-road starts before day-light So no more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. MAJOR jo:jes's travels. 41 LETTER IV. Charleston, S. C, May 15, 1845 To Mr. Thompson:-! arriv here last evenin 'bout three o'clock, rite side up, all safe and sound Fore day- Lht yesterday mornin the nigger at the hotel m Augusty nicked me up, and told me the omnibus for the ra.lrode was waitin forme. I wasn't no time gettin reddy, and in a few minits I was ridin over the bndg what Luten- ant Odin clared so quick when he got loose from the Pelet's, on my way to the Carolma railrode. I Sever was in die knd of shivelry before and .. had a good deal of curiosity to see what kind of a place it wfs whar the people lived what they say all sneezes everv time Mr. Calhoun takes snuft— and whar (ge- neral Kittledrum's men was born "with arms in ther hands," reddy and termined to take Texas from the Mexicans, whether or no. Well, my opinion is if Mr- Dickens was to see Hamburg he wouldn't find the same fault with it that he did with Boston The white an red paint in Hamburg wouldn't hurt his ej-es much and when he went to sleep at night he might be monstrous certain that he'd find it thar in the mornin. he fact s Hamburg is like the Irishman's horse-.t is little but s "id It was bilt long before the flood, and is got the marks of antickuty in evry old rotten shingle evry un- nailed clapboard, and in evry broken pane "' g'^'^^- Don't misunderstand me, Mr. Thompson ; I ain t hkc some travellers into foreign parts, ^^1;^' takes pains to humbug ther readers 'bout evry grate city they visit, jest as ifnoboly was ever thar before. Not by no means. When 42 MAJOR Jones's travels. I say Hamburg was bilt before the flood, I don't mom the flood what drownded out all creation cept old father Noey and his cargo of varmints, but I mean the flood of 1840, what overflowed the whole country from Shoolts's Hights to the Sand Hills in Georgia, settin the fences and gin-houses a shassain and dancin hands-all- round with the pig-pens and chicken-coops of a thou- sand river plantations. The oldest inhabitants of Ham- burg is all antydeluvians. and some of 'em is sposed to be amfibious. History don't give any satisfactor} ac- count of whar they cum from, but it's generally blieved that the illustrious founder of the city is one of the same Dutch of what tuck Holland. He's a monstrous man in his way, and though he didn't bild a ark — cause he had no warnin beforehand — he bilt a bridg what's stood a thousand thunderstorms and freshets, and all the floods .sense the days of Noey couldn't tear it up. It was very early in the mornin when we druv through the city to the depo, and I couldn't form much of a opinion 'bout the bisness of the place. At that time o' day it was monstrous still and looked very much like a barn yard does when ther's hawks about. Jest before we got to the depo, ses the man what's captain of the omnibus, ses he, " Major, I'll take your fare, if you please." Cum to find out, he meant a half a dollar, for carryin me and my baggage to the railrode. He's a monstrous clever little man, but a terrible politi- shan — so I paid him, and he soon sot us down on the platform by the cars. Ther was a considerable bustle and fuss bout the depo, gettin reddy to start. The passengers was gittin ther tickets and ther checks for ther baggage, what some fel- lers was nockin about like they would tear the hide off evry trunk ther was thar, stowin 'em away in the cars — some people was runnin about biddin good-by with ther frends, and tellin 'em not to forgit a heap of things, and sum was kickin up a rumpus cause they couldn't see ther MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. 43 hunks after they was put in the cars Bimeoy evry thin<^ was fixed, and here cum old Beelzebub, with his fire,%moke, sutbags and thunderations, to carry us to Charlston. When I saw that everlastin, black, ugly thing cum chug up agin the cars for 'em to Jackie it on fizziS and fryin, and smokin like a tar kill, I thought how if I was a hos or a mule, I'd take my hat off to it If ther ever was a thing what deserves a vote of thanks from all the pullin generation of animals, I think it sthe locomotive ingine. Jest to think, the amount of hos flesh it has saved sense it tuck to carryin the mails. A loco- motiv always seems to me to cum nearer a livm ammal, than any other machine invented by man, specially sense they've ffot to hollerin at the cows when they git on the tr^ck. It's a monstrous fractious, spiteful, headstrong sort of a creeter, and sumtimes it takes it mto its hed to run off the track, but generally speakin it's jest about as governable as any other team, and don't take no more to feed it accordin to its size and strength. I can t help but have a sort of feelin for 'em, and I wouldn't no more think of makin 'em go without givin 'em plenty of wood and water, than I would of makin my horses work with- out ffivin 'em plenty of corn and fodder. Lino-! ling! went the bell. "All aboard," ses the captaiS, and the next minit away we went with the thun- derinest rattlin, puffin and snortin I ever did hear. In a few minits Hamburg was out of sight, and the pine trees went dancin along behind us, as if ther roots couldn't hold 'em in the ground when they saw us comin among 'em. Ther ain't nothin much to interest the traveller on the railrode from Hamburg to Charlston ; and if a man can't find no company in his thoughts, he's monstrous apt to be lonesome. Along at the fust ther wasn t many passengers, and most of them was preachers what had been up to Augusty to tend a convention Ihey was the dryest set of old codgers I ever met with, ul the 44 joltin of the cars shuck up ther idees a little, and then they fell to disputin about religion like all rath. After awhile one old feller, what had his hed tied up with a red cotton handkerchef, and didn't belong to the same church with the rest of 'em, mixed in with 'em, and in about five minits they got into one of the hottest kind of argyments 'bout sprinklin and dippin. The old hard- shell laid about him like rath, and the louder the racket and the more dust the cars made, the louder the old feller fired away at 'em, and whenever he stopped for breth, two or three of the others was down on him like a Yankee thrashin-machine. They kep up one everlastin string of argyment about forty-five miles long, and to them what sot a little ways off from 'em, and could only hear a few words now and then, it sounded zactly like a reglar cussin match ; and sumtimes they'd look at one another like they meant jest what they sed. Bimeby the old hardshell caved in for want of breth, and all the rest of the way he was hockin and hemin, and tryin to git the dust and sinders out of his wind-pipe. Evry now and then we stopped and tuck in moie pas- sengers. 'Bout halfway to Charlston we tuck in two ladys and a little baby. One was a old lady, and she held the little boy, w^hich was a butiful little feller, 'bout the size of my little Harry, in her lap. The other was a handsome young gall, and she was cryin. You know how butiful a pretty woman looks when she's cryin, but you know that's the very time no gentleman ought to stare at 'em. Well, she tried to dry her eyes as fast as she could, but every now and then the tears would bust out agin in grate big draps, and then she'd put her hand- kerchef to her face. Sumtimes she would look at a ring she had on her finger, and then the tears would come agin. I felt monstrous sorry for lier, but I tried not to let her see me lookin at her. Bimeby a sort of skimmilk-lookin feller cum and tuck a seat rite close by Uer, and looked her rite spang in the face, like he was MAJOR JONES*S TRAVELS. 45 gwine to eat her up. The poie gall hadn't a very strong stummuck, I spose, and turned away fromi him. He fol- /er'd her, and she turned back again, and thar he was agin, with his everlastin sheep's eyes, lookin her rite in the face. Thinks I, drat your imperence, I wish tha< gall was my cousin. Just then she looked up to me as much as to say. Sir, did you ever see such insurance ? and I looked back to her, as much as to say, No, Miss, I'll be drat if I ever did ; and the next minit I gin the feller a sort of a cross-cut look, as much as to say be was a infernal imperent puppy. He looked back that he begged my pardon, he didn't know she w^as any thing to me ; then I looked a kickin at him, if he didn't look out, and he looked tother way a little while, and then tuck himself off into another car. The young lady sot thar a minit or two, then looked the sweetest kind of a thank you, sir, to me, and went and tuck a seat by the side of the old lady. They talked together, and looked over now^ and then tow^ards me. Nothing didn't turn up of interest on the way, and biraeby I begun to see signs of town. The closer we got to Charlston, the thicker the plantations and houses begun to git. Biraeby I could see the steeples ; and in a few minits more we was rollin along among the little old frame houses, til we got to the depo. And now the fuss commenced. Sich a everlastin rumpus I never ^eed before. Soon as the gates w^as open here cum a {ang of fellers with whips in their hands, poppin and baappin about 'mong the passengers, axin us to go here and go thar, and whar's our baggage, and if we was gwine to the boat, and more'n twenty thousand other questions before we could answer the fu5>t one. The fust thing I know^d a feller, had one of my trunks one way and another one had tother carryin it off in another direction, while two more was pullin the life out of my carpet bag to see which should have it. I shuck the two fellers off my trunks monstrous quick, and was jesl 46 MAJOR Jones's travels. gwine to tackle the chaps what had my carpet bag when who should I see but my old frend, Bill Wiley, what used to live up to the old Planters' Hotel, ih Madison, you know. *' Why, hellow, Majer," ses he, " is that you?" " I blieve it is, Mr. Wiley," ses I, " but thar aint no "fellin how long I'll last, if I don't git away from these oudacious scamps." *' Well," ses he, '' Majer, jest pint out your baggage to Patrick here, and then foller me." I show'd 'em to Patrick, and then went with Mr. Wiley and got into the omnibus, what tuck me, with a whole lot of other passengers, to the Charlston Hotel. When I got thar, they axd me to put my name down in a big book, and then it tuck me 'bout a ower to git the dust and smoke off my face. As soon as I w^as done washin here cum three or four niggers with little short-handled brooms, and begun to sweep the very life out of me. I hollered at 'em and ax'd 'em what in the mischief they meant ; but they jest thrashed away as hard as they could lick it — first at me and then on their hands — keepin up the devlishest drummin I ever heard ; and the more I twisted and turned to try to git out of ther way, the harder they kep at it. Bimeby I sent one of 'em a lick aside of his bed, what put a stop to his fun, and the rest tuck the hint ; but one tall yaller feller, what wanted to make a few extra flourishes, got a kick jest as he was leavin, that raised him right off" the floor. I never did see the like of 'em in all my born days. I do blieve they'd have a brush at a man if they had to tlirow him down and hold him. Mr. Wiley said it was all right, and that they was only tryin to git the dust off' me. That all mought be, but I don't see no sense m brushin the breth out of a man if he is got a little dust on his clothes. In tlie afternoon I tuck a walk over the city to look *t the fine bildins and the ships. I tell you whatj MAJOR JONES's TRAVELS. 47 Charlston aint no fool of a city. Meeting street, and King street, and Market street, is very fine, and has got sum monstrous handsum bildins in 'em. The best part of the streets is too narrow and crooked, but Meeting street is a butiful width, and from the Charlston Hotel down to the bay, has got sum as pretty views as I ever seed in any picter. After tea I went down to the place tiiey call the Battery. The wind was blowin monstrous still', and the waves from i\n. sea cum rollin in and slashin the nasty salt water all over me. It was a very lonesum place, and smelled like a old shot-gun what hadn't been cleaned out for a long time. They tell me here it's nateral for the sea to smell so, and that people soon gits use to it, so they don't mind it. The place made me feel sort o' sollemcolly, and I started to go to the Hotel. It was sum time before I could find the way, and as I was walkin along in the moonlight, 1 passed lots of ladies and gentlemen. I heard sum sweet female voices and saw sum butiful faces which made me think of Mary, and by the time I got to the Hotel I was homesick as the mischief. I went to my room and tried to go to sleep ; but ther was a company of midshipmen and navy officers in the next room what had jest cum home from a long voyage, and they was drinkin wine and singin " we wont go home til moi- nin," and makin speeches, and breakin glasses, so I couldn't sleep a bit ; and the merrier they was the worse 1 felt. This mornin I tuck another walk to look at the sol- diers. They had a general musterin of the shivelry here to bury a officer, and I tell you what's a fact, Charlston can parade a pretty respectable showin of the nation's buUworks. There was sum fust rate com- panys and a good many fine lookin officers among 'em. The Guvernor was thar in his regimentals, but I could'nt see General Kittledrum. Ther was one little officer thar what had so much military sperit in him, 3 48 MAJOR Jones's travels. tliat it put him cumpletely out of shape. He didn't stick more'n 'bout three feet out of his boots, and he looked like a jack-knife that was opened so far that it bent over back. Its a terrible pity that he couldn't grow a little bigger, or simmer down his sperit a little more, for the sword is certainly too much for the skab- bard. They say he's a fust rate officer, only he's a little out of proportion. The fact is, we may say what we please, and laugh as much as we've a mind to, 'bout Carolina shivelry, but ther ain't no mistake about it, Carolina is a gallant little state, and every sun she's got's a soldier. I'd like to stay in Charlston two or three days, but I hain't got time now. When I cum back from New York I'll know more about cities, and then I can make up my mind better about Charlston. I'm gwine to Wilmington in the steamboat this afternoon. Pervidin she don't bust her biler, nor git blow'd to ballyhack by sum bominable harrycane, you will hear from me agin soon. So no more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. P. S. I've jest bought me a hickory stick what I'm p-wine to toat, and it won't be well for these fellers to come pullin and haulin 'bout my baggage and brushin all the buttons off my clothes, wharever I stop in futer. You know I'm a peaceable man, but I can't stand evry ♦hing. MAJOR Jones's travels. 49 LETTER V. Washington Cily, May 18, 1845. To Me. Thomi'son^: — Dear Sir — I left ofl^ my last letter to you only a fe'v minits before the omnibus cum to take me from the Hotel to the steambote. Well, I was a little behind the administration in gettin my trunks packed agin, and cum monstrous nigh gettin left. But Patrick got me down to the wharf jest as the last ring was dyin out of the bell, and in a few minhs I was afloat on salt water for the fust time in my life. You must know I fell in a mill-pond once when I was a boy, and was pulled out by old nigger Ned, jest when I had 'bout tuck my last swaller, and I spose it's that what's always made me have sich a mortal dred of water whar I can't tetch bottom ever sense. I felt monstrous jubus 'bout gwine aboard, and if ther was any possible way of gettin round it I w^ouldn't a run no sich risks you may depend. It was a butiful afternoon, and the passengers was all as lively as crickets, talkin and laughin and lookin at the city as the steambote went spankin along with her flags a flyin, and her wheels turnin the sea into soapsuds, and leavin a white track in the water behind us. Ther was a heap of ships and steambotes all about — sum standin still, sum gwine out and sum cumin in ; and little boats not bigger than a feedin-trough was dodgin all about, with ther white sails a shinin in the sun like sand-hill cranes in a rice-field. The city kep gettin smaller and smaller, til bimeby Fort Moultry, whar you know ihe Carolina boys licked the British so in the revo- lution, didn't look no bigger than a fodder-stack. I looked around for the shore, but the sky seemed to cum 50 MAJOR Jones's travels. down to the water on every side, til it looked jest like tlie crystal of my watch, 'thout a spot of yeath to put one's foo| on as far as my eyes could see. I begun to feel monstrous skary, and' I don't blieve I ever did draw sich long breths before in all my born days. I do I lieve I thought of all the ship-racks I ever red of in my life, and I would a gin ten per-cent. of all I had in the world to had my life insured. I held on to the side of the boat with both hands, and kep as fur off from the biler as I could. But the ladys and the little children didn't seem to mind it a bit, and after we was out of sight of land about a ower I got a little over my skeer. Bimeby a nigger feller commenced ringin a bell as hard as he could ring, and hoUerin out — "Gentlemen what hain't paid ther passage will please to walk up to the captin's office and settle !" As soon as I could git a chance I paid for my tickets, and pretty soon after that the bell rung agin for supper. We had a fust rate sup- per, but sumhow it didn't seem natural to be swimmin and rockin about in the sea, and eatin at the same time, and I didn't eat much. Besides, ther was a sort ot sickish feelin cum over me in the supper room, and I went up on the roof agin as quick as I could to smoke a segar, thinkin it mought make me feel better. By this time it was night, but the moon and stars was shinin above and below — the only difference in the sea and the heavens bein that the stars and moon in the water was dancin and caperin about like they was out of ther senses, while them in the sky was winkin and twinklin in ther old places as quietly and sober as ever. I got a light for my segar and was jest beginnin to smoke when a nigger feller cum up to me, and ses he : " Massa, no smokin lowed aft the machinery." " The mischief ther ain't!" ses I, and I went away back to the hind eend of the boat and tuck a seat, and commenced a right good smoke to myself. But I hadn't been thar more'n a minit before here cum the nigger feller agin. MAJOR Jones's travels. 51 " Yoj musen't smoke aft the ncuchinery," ses he. *' Well," ses 1, " I ain't near yer machinery." '*" No ; but," ses he, '^ you is aft." '•^ Aft what?" ses I. "The phce for gentlemen to smoke is forard," ses he. " Well," ses I, "my buck, I don't understand your gibrish, but if you'll jest show me whar I can smoke 'thout any danger to your machinery, I'll go thar." With that the bominable fool begun to snicker, til he seed my cane was takin the measure of his hed for a nock down, when he straitened up the pucker of his face and sed — "Cum this way, sir ; this is the forard deck, massa." I follered him over to the fore eend of the boat, whar sum more gentlemen was smokin. I hadn't tetched a drap of licker in a coon's age, but I was never so put to to walk strait in my life. Sumhow I couldn't make no sort of calkelation for the floor — one minit it was up to my knee, and the next step I couldn't hardly reach it — - and my legs kep gittin mixed up and tangled so I didn't know one from tother. All the passengers seemed like they was tite — sum of 'em looked monstrous serious, and one or two was caskadin over the side of the boat into the sea with all ther might. I felt a little sort o' swimmy in the hed myself, and I begun to spicion I was gettin sea-sick, so I tuck a seat by the side of the boat and smoked my segar to settle my stummick. Well, thar I sot and smoked til all the passengers went down into the bed-room to sleep. It was a butiful night, and the scene was jest the kind to set a man's brains a thinkin. The sea is a roomy place and ther's nothin thar to prevent one's givin free scope to his imagination — it's a mighty thing, the sea is, and if a man don't feel some sublime emotions in its presence, it's because riis hed works is on a monstrous small scale. Thar it was, the great, the everlastin ocean, dressed out in its star-bespan* gled night-gown, dancn to the soft music of the sighin 52 MAJOR Jones's travels. winds, and the liquid caden(;e of its ever-splasLn waves ; while down deep in its coral caverns the whales and porpoises was spoutin then love ditties to ther sweetharts, and the maremaids was puttin ther hair in curl to break the harts of the young sea-hoses. It was monstrous still — the monotonous splashin of the wheels, the gruntin and groanin of the ingine, the rushin of the foam, and the rumblin and squeakin of the timbers of the boat, all keepin time together, made a sort of noisy silence that fell negatively on the ear. I leaned over the side and looked at the fiery foam, as it rolled spark- lin away from the bow : but it faded from the face of the sea while I looked at it, and a few yards behind as ther remained no track of our passage. I felt alone on che vast ocean, and a feelin of isolation cum over me, which, fore I got rid of it, made the boat seem no big- ger than a teapot, and myself about the size of a young seed-tick. I could preached a sermon on the sublimity of creation, and the insignificance of man and his works, but 1 had no congregation then, and it's too late now. I don't know what made me think of home — but sum- how I felt like I'd gin a heap to be thar. I thought of the butiful bright eyes that was closed in sleep on my pillar, and the dear little cub that was nestled in my place. Bless ther dear souls — perhaps they was dreamin of me that very minit — perhaps I was never to see 'em in this world again. These thoughts made me feel mon- strous bad, and the more I reflected about it, the worse I felt, til I blieve I would gin all I had in the world jest to be sure I wouldn't die before I got back. Bimeby, I thought, I'd try to go to sleep, so I wen down into the bed-room, and tried it. But it was no go. I got into one of the little boxes, what they call berths, but I couldn't stay born no way I could fix it. In the first place I couldn't git stowed away no how, and in the next place, whenever I shut my eyes, it seemed like the boat was whirl in round and round like a treaa-wheel. I got up agin, and went up stairs, and MAJOR Jones's travels. 53 smoked another segar, til I got pretty tired, and then 1 went in the gentlemen's parlor, and stretched mysell en one of the seats. I fell asleep thar sumLime between that and daylight, and never waked up til most breck- fust time the next mornin, when they sed we was in Cape Fear, gwine right up to Wilmington. Cape Fear is a very fine river, and ther's some fine plantations and houses on the banks when you git near to Wilmington. Pretty soon after breckfust we got in sight of the city, and a few minits afterwards we was long side the wharf, and the niggers was cartin our baggage up the hill to the railrode. Wilmington pre- sents 'bout as curious a aspect from the river, as any other town in my knowins. The fust thing you see is everlastin piles of turpentine barrels, piled up on the wharf in evry direction, and on the vessels in the river. That's the front rank. The next is a plattoon of wind mills, enuff to lick all the Don Quicksots in Spain. In them they bile the spirits of turpentine out of the gum. The rare rank — and that's scattered all over the hill — is made up of houses, and old brick walls and chimneys of houses what's been burnt down, with here and thar a few more barrels of turpentine. They've had two or three fires here lately, what's burnt up the best part of the town ; but I don't wonder at it, for I would as soon think of puttin out a powder-house as a place what's so perfectly soaked with turpentine. All I wonder at is, that the river don't ketch a fire too. We waited about a ower in Wilmington, which afforded us a opportunity of lookin about a little. After travellin over it, and lookin at sum very handsum bild- ins, among which was the new Piscopal Church, a mon- strous pretty bildin, we went back to the cars. When we got thar, I ax'd a nigger fellar whar I could git sura segars, and he told me to go into a house what stood rite over a branch, on stilts 'bout twenty feet high, whar he sed Lucy Ann would sell 'em to me. Well I went into the house, and ses I, "Is Lucy Ann here ^^ 54 MAJOR Jones's travels. ** Dat's my name," seel a little outlandish person with a coat and britches on. " I want to see Lucy Ann," ses I. " Dat's me," ses he. " What shall I have the plai sure to sell you to day, ha?" I looked up at the old feller's whity-brown sort of a face, and ses I, " I don't spose it makes any difference, but they told me Lucy Ann kep this store." "Well, sare, my name be Lucy Ann; I keep dis store, and sell you sum vary fine orange, banana, soda- water, and so forth." I bought sum segars and sum oranges and went out, bat I couldn't help thinkin ther was sum mistake about it. If Lucy A..nn was a woman, her pearance and dress wasn't very flatterin to the North Carolina galls. Bimeby the bell rung, and the passengers was all aboard agin in the cars. The lokymotive man pulled the wire what sot the steam agwine, and away we went, licky-teklink, rite among the tar and turpentine what was strung all along the road, evry here and thar, for most a hundred miles. Like all the southern rodes this railrode don't run through the most interestin part of the country, so it wouldn't be fair to judge of the old North State by what one sees on the railrode. The country ain't much else but one everlastin turpentine plantation; and all one can see for miles, is millions upon millions of pine trees with the bark half off, and the white tur- pentine runnin down ther sides, and lookin like so many tall ghosts standin in the dark shade, with ther windin- sheets on. The rode runs through a very level country, and is the straitest in the world — having a single stretch of upwards of seventy miles without a single bend in it. The cars ain't quite so stylish as them on the Georgia Railrode, but the conducters is very obligin, attentive, clever men, and git along with as few accidents as any other conducters in the world, only they don't low no smokin in the cars. Wc got to Weldon a little after dark, and thar we MAJOR Jones's travels. 55 tuck a Yfivy good supper. Here we bought tickets agin, and tber was a big fat feller thar what seemed termineJ to make us all go the Bay route, as he called it, whether we would or no. He banged all the fellers to talk I ever heard in all my born days. He got ahed of evry- body else, passengers and all ; and when I told him Pd be very glad to commodate him, only I wanted to go by Washington ; he sed, he'd be dad fetched if he didn't have the seat of government moved down on the Bay, jest for the commodation of the public what travels on his line. He's a monstrous good agent, and ought to be well paid for his trouble. I didn't git much good sleep the night before, in the steambote, and by the time we got to Petersburg, I was pretty well done over, and I never was so glad in my life to go to bed. I remember sumthing 'bout gettin up the next mornin fore daylight, and gettin in a omni- bus, and then gettin in sum more cars, and whizzin along through Virginy like a streak of ligthnin. Towns and bridges, and rivers, and mountings went whirlin past us so rapid that I hadn't no time to ax any thing about 'em. Like Cassio when he got sober, " I re- member a heap of things, but nothin very pertickelerly," from the time I went to bed in Petersburg, til I found myself in the steambote on the Potomac gwine to Washington. These railrodes play the mischief with a man's obser- vations. One mought as well try to count the fethers in a pigeon's tail when he's on the wing, as to look at the country he's travellin through in the railrode cars. He gits a kind of flyin panorama of trees and houses, and towns and rivers, and fenses and bridges, all mixed up together — one runnin into tother, and another begin nin before the last one's left off— so he can't make heu Dor tail to 'em. And when he does stop a minit he's so pestered with hack-drivers and porters, that he hain't hardly got time to buy his ticket or eat his breckfust, le' alone doin any thing else. I was anxious to have a 56 BiAjoR Jones's travels. good look at the Old Dominion, for a good many rea- sons — I wanted to see the state whar my father and mother was born, and what had given birth to the great Washington. Bat I had sich a bominable pore chance, I don't blieve I'd know any more about Virginy when 1 see it agin, than Captain Marryat did about America when he went home to write his everlastin book of lies. The Potomac is a noble river ; and as ther was no waves to set the bote a rollin, I had a fust rate chance to look at the scenery on its banks. I never shall forgit my feelins when the bell rung to let us know we was near Washington's grave, at Mt. Vernon. I felt that it was a grate privilege to be allowed to look at that sacred spot, where the ashes of the father of his country was reposin — to look at the mound of yeath that had taken to itself the noble form in which had centred so much virtue, so much patriotism, so much valor, so much wisdom, so much of evry thing that ennobles human nater. I remembered how on the bosom of the very stream on which I was, a British fleet once floated, and that when they passed the grave of our country's sainted hero, they lowered ther proud banner, in token of respect to the illustrious ded — and when I thought of that, it made me half forgive 'em for destroyin the city that bore his name. Fort Washington stands high up on the bank, and looks down monstrous sassy ; and I reckon if the John Bull's was to try that game agin, they'd fmd the Potomac sum what rougher navigashun now than it was then. In a few minits more w^e was in sight of Washington city, with the great umbrella top of the Capitol loomin up into the heavens, grand, gloomy, and peculiar. We wasn't long gettin to the wharf, and after a terrible encounter with 'bout five hundred cab-men and porters, I made out to git my baggage into a hack and druv to Gadsby's hotel, whar I got a good supper and soon went to bed. I dreamed all night of cog-wheels and steam-inginus MAJOR JONES'3 TRAVELS. 57 --sumtimes my bed was a car, then it was a steamboie, and then it was a omnibus, but it was gwme all the time, at the rate of twenty-five miles a ower. My brains hain't got moreen 'bout half settled yet, so you must excuse this monstrous pore letter. I hope to git recrelated in a day or two, and then I will tell you sum- thme 'bout Washington City and its lyons No more (Lqq. Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones, 58 MAJOE JONES S TRAVELS. LETTER VI. ^ Washington City, May 19, 1846. To Mr. Thompson : — Bear Sir — It was pretty late before I got up this mornin, and then it was 'bout a ower before I found my way down stairs after I did git up. You hain't no idee what a everlastin heap of rooms and passages and stair-ways ther is to these big hotels, and to a person what aint use to 'em it's 'bout as diffi- cult to navigate through 'em as it is to find one's way out of a Florida hammock. As soon as I got my breckfast I sot out for the Capitol, what stands on the hill, at the upper eend of the Avenue, as they call it, which is a grate wide street runnin rite through the middle of the city. When I looked up to it — from the street — it seemed like it wasn't more'n twenty yards off, but before I got to it I was pretty tired walkin. The gates was open, and I walked into the yard, and follered round the butiful paved walks til I cum to the steps. The yard, round the bildin, is all laid off in squares and diraonds, jest like Mary's flower- garden, and is all sot out with trees. Rite in frunt of the bildin, on the side towards the city, is a curious kind of a monument, standin in a basin of water, with little babys and angels, all cut out of solid marble, standin all round on the corners of it, pintin up to a old eagle what looks like he'd gone to roost on the top of it. It's a very pretty thing, and the water what it stands in is full of little red fishes, playin all about as lively as tadpoles in a mill pond. I looked at the monument sum time, and red sum of the names on it, but sum I couldn't make . out and the rest I've forgot. After gwine up two or three more pair of stone stairs, \. cum to the door of the Capitol. I couldn't see nobody MAJOR Jones's travels. 59 about, so I nocked two or three times, but nobody didn't answer. I waited awhile and then nocked agin with mj stick, but nobody never sed a word. Thinks I, the) can't be home. But the door was open — so thinks I, I'l go in and see the biklin any how. Well, in I went, anc the fust thing I met was two pair of stairs agin, botl gwine the same way. I tuck one of 'em, and after gwine a little ways I cum to another green door. Thinks I, it wont do to be too bold, or I mought git into a fuss with the kitchen cabinet, and I knowd a whig w^ouldn't find no frends thar. So I nocked agin, louder and louder, but nobody answered. Well, thinks I, the government can't be to home sure enuff, and I was jest thinkin what a bominable shame it was for them to neglect their bis- ness so, when here cum a feller, what had whiskers all over his face, with three or four galls, laughin and gigglin at a terrible rate, and in they went, without ever nockin a lick. Well, thinks I, I've got as good a right here as any body else w^hat dont belong to the adminis- tration, so in I follered into the rotunda. I tell you what, Mr. Thompson, this rotunda is a monstrous tall bildin jest of itself. Why you could put the Pineville court-house inside of it, and it wouldn't be in the way a bit. A full grown man dont look no bigger in it than a five year old boy, and I cum very near nockin a pinter dog in the hed for a rat, he looked so little. The sides is all hung round with picters, and over the doors ther is some sculptures representm William Penn swindlin the Ingins out of ther land, and Columbus cumin ashore in his boat, and old Danel Boon killin off the aborignees with a butcher knife, and other subjects more or less flatterin to the national character. The figers is all cramped up like they'd been whittled down to fit ther places, and don't look well to my likin at all. The places would be a great deal better filled with single figers representin our grate generals and statesmen. The picters is very good, and it's worth a trip from Georgia o W^ashington to see them great national paintuis, the 60 MAJOR Jones's travels. Signers of the Declaration of Independence, the Sui render of Cornwallis, Washington givin up his Com mission, the Baptism of Pocahontas, and the Pilgrim Fathers on board ther ship. I could looked at 'em a whole day, but I had so much to see and so little time to spare, that I only gin 'em a passin examination. Bimeby I went up to a chap w^hat was sitin by the door with a book in his hand, and ax'd him whar the government was. " Who ?" ses he. " The government," ses I, — " Polk and Dallas." " Oh, ses he, the President is at home at his house, 1 believe, but I don't know whar Mr. Dallas is." " Don't the President live here?" ses I. " No 5z>," ses he. " He lives in the White House at the other eend of the Avenue. This is the CapitoJ whar Congress sets, but it aint in session now\" " Beg your pardon sir," ses I, '* I thought the govern- ment all hved at the Capitol." " Your a stranger here then, it seems," ses he. " My business is to show strangers over the Capitol. Do you wish to see it?" " That's jest what I cum here for," ses I, " and I'd like very much to see whar Congress makes the laws." "Very well," ses he, "jest foller me." Well, he led the w^ay and I follered up stairs and down, through passages and round pillars and corners, under arches and over roofs, through the Senate Chamber, the Hall of the Representatives, and ever so many offices and committee rooms, til he brung me out on the top of the dome. I never was so high up in the world before. Thar was the " city of magnificent distances," litteraly stretched out at my feet, and I looked down upon the dig- nitaries of the land. I was indeed elevated above Presi- dents and Cabinets, and Ministers of State. Houses looked hke martin boxes, men looked no bigger than seed-ticks, and carriages and horses w^ent crawlin along over the ground like a couple of ants draggin a dead blue bottle. MAJOR Jones's travels. G1 The eye ranges over haif the nation ; Vir^iny and Maryland comes into the ten miles square, and .the Po- tomac looks like a liitle branch riinnin through a mearlo w of trees ; while the Tiber don't look no more like " the angry Tiber chafing with its shores" in which Julias Caesar and Mr. Cassius went a swimmin with ther clothes on, than our duck pond does like the Atlantic Ocean. Well, after takin a good look from the dome, Ifollered the man what keeps the Capitol, down agin into the Ro- tunda, and ax'd him what was to pay for his trouble. " Nothing at all," ses he, and then he told me whar the statues was on the eastern Portico, and pinted out the place whar they kept Mr. Greenough's Washing- ton. I went out on the portico, and what do you think, Mr. Thompson ! the very first thing I seed was a woman without so much as a pettycoat on ! Not a real live woman, but one cut out of marble, jest as nateral as life itself. Thar she was, sort of half standin and half squattin by the side of a man dr':;ssed off in armour and holdin a round ball in his hand. At first I never was so tuck aback in my life, and I looked all round to see if anybody was lookin at me. I couldn't help but look at it, though it did make me feel sort o' shamed all alone by myself. Every now and then somebody would cum by, and then I would walk off and look tother way. But sumhow I couldn't go away. The more I looked at it the handsumer it got, til bimeby I seemed to forgit every other thought in the contemplation of its beauty. Ther was sumthing so chaste, and cold, and pure about that beautiful figure, that I begun to be in love with it, and I couldn't help but think if I was Columbus and wasn't marble myself, I'd be tempted to give her a hut now and then, if she was a squaw. I went down ofi the portico and took a front view of it — and then i looked at it sideways — and then I went up the steps and looked at it thar agin, and every way it presented a image of beauty to dream of years to come. Bimeby the galb 62 MAJOR Jones's travels. what I sa^'^ when I was nockin at tlie door, cum up with that chaf with the whiskers and I backed out. Ther is two other statues standin on the east frunt of the Capitol, one representin the godess of Peace, and the other General Mars, the god of War. They are both very handsome. Mars carrys his hed like a gen- ewine South Carolina militia captain, and Peace looks like she wouldn't hurt anybody for the w^orld ; but ther is something tame about 'em — they look somehow like they was cast in a mould. After lookin at them a while, I w^ent out to the bildin what stands in the yard, and tuck a look at Mr. Green- ough's Washington, and to tell you the truth, I never was so disappinted in my life. This statue has some terrible bad faults, and on first view, before one has time to study and understand the design of the artist, creates any thing but a favorable impression. In the fust place the position is out of keepln with the character of Wash- mgton ; in the second place, the costume is worse than the position, and in the next place, the mouth is not good, and destroys the character and expression of the face. Ther ain't nothing Washington about it, to my notion. The idea of puttin a Roman togy on Gen. Washington, is ridiculous ; as if he wasn't jest as much entitled to be a type of his age and generation, as Julius Caesar or any other Roman hero is of the age when ther was no tailors to make coats. It made me feel bad when I looked up and saw^ Washington's bare busum. The veneration which Americans feel for the character of Washington is shocked at the exposure of that noble breast, w^hose every throb was for his country. It seems like a de- secration to represent him in any other way than as he was, when he was alive ; and though ther is something iraposin and grand in the artist's design, the effect is uestroyed by the want of fidelity to the character of the man. I tried my best to overcum my prejudices agin the Washington, because it was a American work, but t was no go, and I went back ind tuck another look at MAJOR JONES's TRAVELS. 63 Columbas ai.d his Ingin gall, before I went down to my hotel. After dinner, I went to see the President, up to the White House as they call it, what stands at the other eend of the Avenue. All along the way the hack-men kep settin at me to ride in one of ther carriages. It looked like only a little ways, and I wanted to see the city as I went along ; but if I stopped for a rainit to ex- plain to one of 'em, I was sure to have a dozen of 'em round me at once, all pullin and haulin at me, and cusin one another for every thing you could think of Wash- ington's so bominably scattered all over creation, that most every body rides, and these fellers think it's a out- rage on ther rights to see a gentleman walkin in the street. I cum mighty nigh gettin into three or four fights with 'em fore I got half way to the President's house. It was a monstrous long walk, and I was terrible tired fore I gotthar. Wliat makes it so deceivin is, the Capitol at one eend, and the White House at the other eend of the wide street, is so large that one loses all idee of distances and proportions. When I got to the house, I nocked at the door, and a gentleman opened it and told me to cum in. " Good evenin, Mr. President," ses I, " I hope your- self and famly is all w^ell," ofTerin him my hand at the same time. " Good evenin, sir," ses the gentleman, givin me a real Georgia shake by the hand. " It's not JMr. Polk your spakin too, ses he, but no offence, sir, walk in." «' Why,'' ses I, " don't the President live here," beginin to think I never would find him. " To be sure, sir; this is the Prisident's house, but it's Cabmet day , and his excellency can't be seen by strangers." " Well, I'm very sorry for that," ses I. '' And so am I," ses the gentleman. " But," ses he, " since you can t see his excellency, you can have the honor of taking a pinch of snufl" wid his lagal ripre- sintative," and with that, he poked his snufl-box at me 4 64 MAJOR Jones's travels. and I tuck a pinch of his Irish blackguard, that liked to put my neck out of jint a sneezin. As soon as I got over it a little, ses he : " walk this way, sir, and Pll show you through the public rooms if you would like to see them." After walkin about awhile we cum into the great East room, which is a real stylish place you may de- pend, with gold chairs, and marble tables, and the richest kind of carpets, with lookin-glasses clear down to the iloor. I knew that was the room whar pore old General Harrison lay before he was buried, so I ax'd the man if he knowd General Harrison. " To be sure I did," ses he ; " I cum here in General Jackson's administrashun, and I've bin here iver since. Ah, sir!" ses he, "General Harrison was a great and good man. He was a tru^ dimocrat, he was. We waked him here two days in this room, sir, and I shall niver, til the day of my deth, forgit that melancholy sight. The gineral was none of yer blarneyin poli- ticians, but a true man, sir. When he cum to the White House I wint to him, and ses I — ' Gineral, I'm a dimocrat, and if I'd had a vote I'd voted agin you, and now I'm reddy to give up my place.' ' Don't think of it, Martin,' ses he ; * I'm tould yer attentive and faithful in the discharge of yer duties. I'll need such a man about me, and it's not myself that'll discharge any man for his political opinions.' I kep my place, sii, but the pore ould gintleman, rest his sowl, wasn't spared to keep his. He was kind to ivrybody 'bout him, from the highest to the lowest ; I used to walk out wid him whin he was sick; and if you'd seen us togither you couldn't a tould which was the best dimocrat, the Prisident of the United States, or his Irish futman." " Giv me yer hand, Martin," ses I ; " I'm a Georgia vrhig, and I'm glad to hear you speak well of the man I loved so much." " Dimocrat or whig," ses he, " the truth's all the same But are ye all the way from Geoigia-^" MAJOR Jones's travels. 65 " I am/' ses I ; " my name is Jones, Joseph Jones of Pineville.'* *' Majer Joseph Jones ?" ses he. ^' That's my name when I'm at home," ses I. *' Then giv me yer hand agin, Majer," ses he, " an*d teli me, how did you lave Mary and the baby — how is little Henry Clay Jones, and the good wafe ? Faith, I've red yer book, Majer," ses he, " and I'm rite glad to make yer acquaintance. Will you take another pinch of snufT?" ses he. " No, I thank you, sir," ses I ; *' I ain't much used to snuffin." " Well, no matter for that, Majer," ses he ; " if it don't agree wid you — I know you used to chew tobacco. But you see I'm a bit of a litterary man myself, and I'm WTitin a jurnal of my life in the White-house, for these last fifteen years. Now what do you think of the idee, Majer.?" Then he went into a description of his book, and you may depend it's gwine to be one of the most interestin books ever published in this country. You know Martin's bin jest as familiar as a mushstick with the Kitchen Cabinets under Gen. Jackson, Mr. Van Buren, Capt. Tyler, and Mr. Polk — he knows evry politician in the country, and all ther tricks and in- trigues ; and it'll be monstrous strange if a man of as much natural smartness as Martin, with sich opportuni ties, couldn't pick up enufT materials in fifteen years to make a interestin book. I told him I thought he had a fortune by the tail, if he'd only hang on to it, and not let anybody git it away from him. He gin me a Irish wink, as much as to say, he wasn't quite so green, and after a little more chat 'bout literature, politics, and matters and things in general, I bid him good by and went back to my hotel. And here I must drap my pen for the present. So no more from Your friend til deth, Jos. Jones. 66 MAJOR Jones's travels. LETTER VII. Baltimore, May 21, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sir — I left off my la& letter whar I went to my hotel. Well, after tea I red the papers a little while, and then went out and tuck a walk by moonlight to see the city. I straggled round all over the place without payin much attention whar I went, lookin at the public bildins and fine-dressed ladies and gentlemen what was in the streets, til the fust thing I know'd I found myself at the gate in frunt of the Capitol. Thar it was agin with its stupendous whito walls, and its monstrous high, dark dome, standin in the bright moonlight, loomin up agin the heavens, vast, majestic, and sublime, like the stone mountain inDeKalb county. It didn't seem possible sich a everlastin pile could be bilt with hands ; and I could almost imagine it was sum inchanted castle, and that the goblins and fairys was caperin and dancin in the rotunda at that very minit. I tuck a seat on the stone steps and looked up at it as it stood out agin the blue, star-bespangled sky. Thinks I, this is the hed of the nation, the place whar Uncle Sam does his thinkin ; and with that I got to ruminatin 'bout the falibility of national wisdom as well as individual judgment. Public men, thinks I, is like idees : sumtimes they's good, and sumtimes they's monstrous bad — and when they git into the Capitol at Washington, they're jest like thoughts in a man's hed, and make the nation do a monstrous silly thing or a very sensible thing, jest as they happen to be wise or foolish. If ther's any truth in the science of frenology, it must efiect the Capitol in the same way it does a man's skull, and I don't doubt that a rite scientific Yankee professoi 67 could discover the bumps by feelin the walls of the bildin, and could tell what organ was developed the most. Lately the organ of secretiveness has been pretty strongly developed, and sense we've pocketed Texas, ther ain't no tellin whar we'll stop. Combattiveness, too — which is very prominent, if you notice the projec- tions on the north and south side of the dome — is very active ; and I wouldn't be much surprised if we was to lick sum nation like blazes before long. If it wasn't for the excess of veneration which is indicated by the fullness of the dome on the top, we'd been monstrous apt to pitch'd into John Bull before now. Too much veneration is a very bad fault, but maybe it's all the better whar ther's so much combattiveness. I ain't much of a frenologist myself, or I'd go on and give you a full description of Uncle Sam's knowledge-box. I think ther ought to be a scientific committee appinted evry session to make out a complete chart of its bumps, so the people might know what to depend on. I couldn't leave the Capitol 'thout gwine round and takin one more look at the Ingin gall on the East Portico. Like all butiful wimen, she looked handsumei in the soft, pale moonlight, than she did in the daytime. The outlines and shadows was not so hard ; ther was sumthing dreamy and indistinct about her form, and the 'magination was allowed a freer scope in givin the finishin touches to the picter. You know all that is necessary to create in the mind a image of buty, is the mere idee of a woman, with a object for the 'magina- tion to work on. Ther are certain times when a man's 'magination will make a angel out of a bed-post. Well, as I gazed at her, she seemed to becum livin flesh and blood ; and, as she looked at Columbus, rtoopin over, with her hands raised in a attitude of wunder, I almost fancied I could hear her say — ^' Chris- lofer! why don't you speak to me?" I tuck a long, long look at her, and then went to the hotel to dream of Mary. 68 MAJOR Jones's travels. In the mornin, as soon as I got my breckfust, I went to see the Nashunal Institute, whar they told me the government kep all its curiosities. Since as they hadn't the politeness to tell me to cum in when I nocked at the dore of the Capitol yesterday, I tuck it for granted the government was too democratic republican to stand on ceremony; so I didn't nock this time, but jest walked rite in. Well, when I got up stairs, the fust room I got into was the patent-office, whar, the Lord knows, I seed more Yankee contraptions of one kind and another, than ever I thought ther was in the known world. Ther was more'n five hundred thousand models, all piled up in great big glass cages, with ther names writ on 'em, rangin from steam saw-mills down to mouse- traps. Ther was ingines, wind-mills, and water-wheels; steam-botes, ships, bridges, cotton-gins, and thrashin- machines ; printin-presses, spinnin-ginnies, weavin- looms, and shingle-splinters — all on a small scale. But it would take a whole letter to give you the names of one half of 'em. I didn't understand much about 'em, and so I w^ent into another room whar they had a ever- lastin lot of shells, and stones, and ores, and fish, and birds, and varmints, and images, and so forth, what was brung home from the North pole, by the explorin expedition. I spose, to sum people, what can find '' sermons in stones and good in any thing," these things, what cost the government so much to git 'em, would be very interestin ; but I hain't got quite fur enufi' in the ologies for that yet — so I went into another apartment, whar they keep the relics of the revolution and other curiosities. This is the most interestin part of the show, and contains a heap of things that must always be objects of the deepest interest to Americans. 'Mong the rest is Gen. Washington's military cote ; the same cote that has been gazed on by so many millions of adorin eyes, when it enveloped the form of the great father of his country. It made me have very strange fc<;lins to look upon General Washington's, clothes — it V MAJOR Jones's travels. 69 caused in my mind the most familiar impression of that great man I had ever felt, and which no paintin or statue could ever give. I was lookin upon what had been a portion of the real, livin Washington ; and I almost felt as if I was in his presence. Close by hung the sword, and below was the camp-chest w^hat he used in the war of the Revolu4:ion. What a sight! to behold in one glance the garment that sheltered his sacred person, the provision-chest, cracked and shattered in the great con- flict, and the sword with which he won for us the bless- ings of liberty, which we enjoy. How many thou- sands, in centuries to come, will look upon the remains of these sacred relics, and bless the memory of the great and good man. Not far from Washington's cote, in a case by itself, is the cote what General Jackson wore at the battle of New Orleans. I stopped and looked at it with feelins of sincere veneration. Few would suppose the victory of New Orleans was won in sich a coarse cote — but it is like the lion-harted hero who wore it — corse, strong, and honest, without tinsel or false gloss. It looks like the General, and will be preserved as a priceless relic of the brave old patriot, whose days are now drawin to a close. I never voted for General Jackson, cause I thought" his politics was wrong ; but I always bdieved him to be a honest man, and a true patriot, and I don't blieve ther's a lokyfoky in the land that's prouder of his fame, or will hear of his deth with more unfeigned sadness. Ther's a heap of other curiosities in this part of the bildin, that is well w^orth the attention of the visiter. Among the rest is Gen. Washington's Commisshun, and the original Declaration of Independence, besides trea- ties in all sorts of outlandish languages, and guns and pistols and swords, all covered with gold and diamonds, that have been made presents to our government from foreign powers. Ther's a heap of Ingin picters, and among 'em some portraits of the Seminole chiefs, what MAJOR JONES S TRAVELS. fit US SO hard a few years ago. I seed old Alligator settin up thar, as dignified as a turky-cock in a barn- yard, and I couldn't h^lp but think of the time I seed the old feller fall off a log into the St. Johns with all his fancy rigins on, and a jug of rum in his hand. Ther's sum very good likenesses among the Ingin por- traits, but they've got sura of the triflinest fellers in the whole nation settin up thar as grand as Mogulls. After lookin at the other picters, and busts, and statues, (and ther's sum butiful things among 'em,) I went down into the lower story, and thar I saw the grate Sarcofagus what Com. Elliott brung over from Egypt to bury Gen. Jackson in. I don't blame the old General for backin out from any sich arrangement. In the fust place, I don't think it in very good taste for to be in too big a hurry to provide a coffin for a man before he's ded ; and in the next place, I've got no better opinion of old second-hand coffins than I have of second-hand boots. I'd a grate deal rather walk in the footsteps of a dozen livin, illustrious predecessors, than to fill the coffin of one ded King Fareo. No, indeed ; the old hero is too much of a proud-spirited republican for that — he's not gwine to lay his bones in a place whar sum bominable old heathen King has rotted away before, and I glory in him for it. Such men as Jackson finds a sarcofagus in every true patriot's heart, that will pre- serve his memory, from generation to generation, to the eend of lime. After gettin out of Uncle Sam's curiosity shop, I went out into his flower garden, what is kep in a long, low house, with a glass roof. It's got about five hun- dred kinds of cactuses in it, and that's about all. True, ther's a good many little bushes and weeds, with mon- strous hard names, and sum few with flowers on 'em, but Mary's flower-garden at home would beat it all holler for buty and variety. I tuck a walk round by the Post-Office and up to the War Department, and the President's house. The new MAJOR Jones's travels. 71 Post-Offiee, the National Institute, and the War Depart- ment is most magnificent bildins, of grayish, coarse stone ; and if they don't paint 'em like they have the Capitol and the President's house, they'll look ancient enuflfto suit the fancy of Mr. Dickens, or anybody else, who never saw a new country before, and who think none of the rest of the world ain't fit to live in, cause it ain't as old and musty as London. By the time I got down to Gadsby's I was pretty tired ; and after eatin a fust rate dinner, I got reddy to go to Baltimore. I^aid my bill, \vhich was very little, I thought, for sich comfortable livin, and got my trunks all packed and reddy sum time before the cars started. Bimeby long cum the omnibus and tuck my trunks ; but the depo was so close that I jest fit my way through the hack drivers to the cars, without any serious acci- dents. It was a very plesant afternoon, and ther was ever so many ladys and gentlemen in the cars, gwine to Baltimore, and among 'em sum of the most outland- ish specimens of human nater I ever met w^ith. I thought I'd seed whiskers and bustles before, but I find the further north I git, the bigger they grow. After a while the bell rung and away we went, the houses, Capitol and all waltzin round behind us, til we was out of sight of the city ; and the posts of Professor Morse's Telegraph, as they call it, gettin closer and closer to- gether the faster we went. But now the scene is very different from what it is on the Carolina, or even the Virginy rodes. The w^oods is in little patches, and the fields is smaller, and the houses and towns is thicker. The country is more uneven, and evry mile changes the scenery, and gives one sum- thing new to look at. The track, too, is even as a die, and the cars go like lightnin and as easy as a rockin- chair. One minit -we w^as whirlin along betw^een butifuJ farms, in the next we darted into a cut whar the banks shut out the view, and perhaps the next we was crossin over sum butiful valley on a bridge, with mills, and 72 MAJOR Jones's travels. houses, and people far below us. We passed lots of hoses and cattle, and sum of 'em would twist up ther tails and giv us a race, but we went so fast that nothin couldn't keep up with us but the wire lightnin conduc- tors of the telegraph, "which kep us cumpany all the way. It's only 'bout forty miles from Washington to Baltimore, and 1 hadn't begun to git tired before the iconuments and steeples and towers of the city begun to show thetnselves in the distance, gittin nearer and nearer, til we was rite in among 'em. When we got to the depo in the edge of the city, they unhitched the lokymotive and hitched on sum hoses that pulled us away down into the center of the city to the railrode office. I could find enuff for twenty pair of eyes to do, lookin at this butiful city. I hadn't no idee it was half so large or half so handsum. But I had no time to give it more'n a ghmpse before we was at the stoppin place, and in the middle of another regiment of whips, all pullin and haulin, and axin me to go this way and to ther, til I didn't hardly know which eend I stood on. Bimeby one very civil little man with a piece of painted lether on his hat ses to me, ses he— "Sir, giv me yer checks for yer baggage, and I'll take ye to the Exchange Hotel, a very good house, sir." It was Hob- son's choice with me, for I didn't know one house from tother, so I jest handed him over the tins, and he went to look out for my baggage. While I was waitin for him a reinforcement of hackmen got round me, and insisted on takin me to the Exchange. Weil, I was like the gall what married the chap to git rid of him, and I got into the fust hack and druv off. I wasn't more'n seated, fore we was at the dore of a grate big stone house, with a dome on the top of it like the Capitol a+ Washington, what the feller sed was the Exchange Hotel After I got out I ax'd the driver now much was to pay. "A quarter," ses he. I pulled out my parse an^ paitl hiin^ but if I'd know'd it was MAJOR Jones's travels. 73 no further, I'd seed him to Bullyhack fore I'd got into his hack, that's ceriain. Soon as I got in the hotel the man in the office laid a big book out before me and gin me a pen. I know'd what he ment, so I put my name down — Jos. Jones, Pineville, Geo., as plain as a pike-staff. I hadn't more'n finished writin my name before here cum the man with my trunks, and in a minit after I found my- self up stairs in No. 27, whar I am now writin to you, and whar I expect to remain for a day or two. I mean to go to bed early to-night, and take a fresh start in the mornin to look at Baltimore. So no more from Your frend til deth, Tos. JONE? '^4 MAJOR Jones's travels. LETTER VIII. No. 27, Exchange Hotel, Baltimore, May 21, 1845. lo Mr. Thompson:— De«r Sir—I waked up this mornin bright and early, but I felt so monstrous tireo Oiat I didn't git rite out of bed. Well, while I was layin thar lookin round the room at the fine furniture— at the splendid mahogany burow and wardrobe, the marble-top'd washstand and the cast-iron fire-place and a heap of other curious fixins-I seed a green cord with a tosse on the eend of it, hangin down by the hed of M^ l' ; 1 Au^'r^^^^'^ ^"^^'^ ^' ^^ P^ll the winder t .1 '^ u Vh^ ^'?^^ ?' '^^ ^' '^ ^^^' ^^Jther dark, I tuck hold of It and pulled it easy two or three times, but he thing seemed to be hitched sumwhar, and the blinds didn't move a bit. I wasn't more'n done pullin It, before sumbody nocked at my dore, and as I didn't V^Cum in -'""^''"''^ ^'' ^ "''^"'''^ "^ ^°^^' '"^ '"' A nigger feller opened the dore and stood thar for bout a mmit, lookin at me like he wanted sumthing, 'thout say in a word. ^' - Well, buck," ses I, - what's the matter," beginnin to think he had a monstrous sight of imperence u' wT^ '^T ^^^^the gemmen wants," ses he. "Well," ses I, "I don't want nothin." He looked sort o' sideways at me and put out. vpI 'ur ' ^^^ ^^ ^'^ ^° ^^^^^ «^t what upon yeath could brung h,m lo my room, I put my hand out and tried the curtains agm; and the fust thing I know'd here cum. the same chap back agin r* wk!. ^'""^ ^ ^"''u'^ ^^ ^^^ P^"^"3^ «harp, and ses I- What upon yeath do you mean .?" MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. 75 With that he begun bowin and scrapin and scratctiin ais hed, and ses he — "Didn't you ring, sir?" " Ring what?" ses I. *' Your bell," ses he. I was beginnin to git pretty considerable riled, and ses I — " I don't carry no bell, but I can jest tell you what it is, my buck : if you go to cumin any of ycr free nigger nonsense over me, I'll ring yer cussed neck off quicker'n lightnin." And with that I started to git out of the bed, but ther was no nigger thar wdien my feet tetched the floor. It was too dark to dress, so I tuck another pull or two at the blinds ; and while I was pullin and jerkin at 'em, here cums another big nigger, to know what I wanted. By this time I begun to spicion thar was sumthing rong; and shore enuff, cum to find out, I'd been pullin a bell- rope all the time, what kep up a terrible ringin down stairs, though I couldn't hear the least sign of it myself. I'd seed them things hangin round in the rooms at the Charleston Hotel, and at Gadsby's, but I never know'd what they was before. Well, thinks I, live and larn — I'll know a bell-rope ^^hen I see it agin. After findin my way down stairs I went in the barber's room and got shaved, and I do blieve if it hadn't been so early in the mornin, I should went spang to sleep while Billy was takin my beard off. That feller's a real magnetiser; and he goes through the bisness so easy, that you can't hardly tell whether he's usin the brush or the razor ; and by the time he's done, your face is so vsmooth that it takes a pretty good memory to remember whether you ever had any beard or not. After brushin and combin a little, I w^ent out into the readin-room and coked over the papers til breckfust. I was settin on the sofa readin in the National Intelli- gencer, when the fust thing I know'd I thought the whole roof of the bildin was cumin down on top of my hed — whow ! row ! whow-wow ! went sumthing like the very heavens and yeath was cumin together. I 76 MAJOR Jones's travels. couldn't hear myself think, and I was makin for one of the winders as fast as I could, when the everlastin rumpus stopped. I ax'd sumbody what in the name of thunder it was. " 0, you needn't be larmed," ses he, " it's nothin but the breckfust gong." I was jest about as wise then as I was before, but I know'd it had sumthing to do with breckfust, and my appetite soon cum back to me agin. You know I always used to drink coffee, and I'm monstrous fond of it yet ; but bein as I didn't feel very well this mornin, when the waiter ax'd me which I'd have, I sed " tea." "Black or green ?" ses he. I looked at the feller, and ses I—" What?" " Will you have black or green tea?" ses he. I didn't know whether he was projectin with me oi not, so ses I, "I want a cup of tea, jest plain tea, with- out no fancy colerin about it." That settled the bisness, and in a minit he brung me a grate big cup of tea that looked almost as strong as coffee ; but it was monstrous good, and I made out a fust rate breckfust. After breckfust I tuck a walk out to see the city, and shore enufT it is a city! Gracious knows, I thought Charleston, and Richmond, and Washington was big enuff, but Baltimore lays 'em all in the shade. It ain't only a long ways ahed of 'em all in pint of size, but it's a monstrous sight the handsumest. The streets is wide enuff, and then ther ain't no two of them alike, and evry corner you turn gives you a new view, as diflferent from the other as if you was in another city. Monuments and steeples, and minarets and towers, and domes and columns, and piazzas and porticos, and pil- lars of all orders, sizes, and heights, is constantly changin before you ; and the ground rises and falls in Dutiful hills and hollers, as if it tried to do its share towards givin variety and biity to the view. Baltimc^re MAJOR Jones's travels. 77 ?iieet is the principal street, and you may depend it's got a heap of fine stores on it. , i t After takin a good stretch on Baltimore street, lookm at the picter-shops and show-winders, I struck out mto Calvert street, whar the monument stands what was raised to the brave fellers what licked the British at the Batde -of North Pint, in the last war. It's a good deal bicrcrer than the Naval Monument at Washington, and, ^o my notion, it's a grate deal handsomer Its propor- tions is good, and the design is very butiful. After takin a good look at the monument, I walked aloncr down by sum fine large brick houses with marble portit-os to 'em, and winder-glasses so clean you mought see yer face in 'em, lookin back now and then at the woman on top of the monument, when the tust thmg 1 know'd I got a most alfired skeer, that made me jump clear off the side- walk into the street, before I know d what I was about ; " Get out !" ses I, at a cussed grate bis tierce-lookin dog upon one of the porticos that looked like he was gwine to take rite hold of rne. "Seize him, Tiger!" ses a chap what was gwme by, laughin, and I raised my stick quicker'n ightnm but the^dog never moved a peg. Cum to find out, it was nothin but a statue of a dog made out of stone or iron, put up thar to watch the dore and keep off house- brakers, I spose. I got over my skare and went along but I couldn't help thinkin it was monstrous bad taste to have sich a fierce-lookin thing standm rite before a body's dore thataway. If he was lyin down asleep he d look iest as natural, and wouldn't be apt to frighten any body out of ther senses fore they know'd what )t wa^' Bimeby I cum to a open place with a butiful little temple standin back in the yard, under the trees, and over the gate was a sign what sed "City Springs Well, as I felt pretty dry by this time, I thought I d gc in and git sum water. When I got to the house wha was standin over the spring on butiful round P^/l^rs and was gwine down the white stone steps, I seed a whole 78 MAJOR Jones's travels. heap of galls down thar playin and dabblin in the water, and sprinklin and splashin one another, and laughin and carryin on like the mischief. I'd heard a grate deal about Bahimore buty, and I thought Fd jest take a peep t 'em while they didn't see me, and when they wasn't suspectin anybody was lookin at 'em. Well, thar they ;vas, five or six of 'em, all 'bout sixteen and seventeen, with ther butiful faces flushed up, and ther dark eyes sparklin with excitement, while ther glossy ringlets, in which the crystal water glittered like dimonds, fell in confusion over ther white necks and shoulders. They was butiful young creters; and as I leaned over the wall, lookin down on 'em as they was wrestlin and jumpin and skippin about as graceful as young fawns, I almost thought they was real water-nymphs, and I was 'fraid to breathe hard for fear they mought hear me and dart into the fountains. Bimeby one of 'em that was scufflin for life to keep two more of 'em from given her a duckin, happened to look up. The next minit thar was a general squeelin and grabbin up of sun-bonnets, and away they went up tother flight of steps. I didn't want 'em to think I'd been watchin 'em, so I went rite down to the spring, like I had jest cum for a drink of water. ^ Ther was three fountains all in a row, and on each side of the fountains was two iron ladles hangin chained to the wall. I tuck up the one on the right, and was holdin it under the spout on that side, when I heard the galls gigglin and laughin up on the steps, whar they was rangin ther dresses. I couldn't help but look round, when I saw one of the pretty est pair of sparklin eyes lookin over the wall at me, that I have seed sense I left home. '' The middle fountain's the Lest, sir," ses one of the sweetest voices in the world. I didn't wait to think, but jest cause she sed so, I jerked the ladel what was already runnin over, towards the middle spout, when kerslosh went the water all over m> feet, and the ladel went rattle-teklink agin the wall whai it was chained. Sich another squall as they did give ] MAJOR Jones's travels. 79 never heard before, and away they all scampered Imcrhin fit to die at me. The fact was the cham wasn t lonS enuffto reach to the middle fountain no how, even if the water was any better, which I ought to know d was all gammon. I felt a little sort o' flat but thinks I, frails if you only knowM the buties I seed when 1 was ookin down over your beds, when you was rompin, Tou'd think we was pretty near even, after all. _ ^ From the City Springs I went to the Washmgton monument, what' stands at the ^ed of Char es stre • This is another butiful structure which, while it com- memorates the fame of the greatest man what ever lived on the face of the yeath, reflects ^^onor on the patriot ism and liberality of Baltimoreans. At the dore ther was a old gentleman, who ax'd me if I wanted to go up on the monument. I told him I'd like to very well, if ther was no danger. He sed ther wasn't the east m the world ; so, after^ayin him a seven-pence and writin my name in a big book, he gin me a lamp and I started up the steps, what jest kep runnin round and round like a screw-auger. Up, up I went, and kep a gwine til I thought my legs would drap ott^ me. Evry now and then I stopped and tuck a blow, and then pushed on agin, til bimeby I got to the top, whar ther is a dore to p;o out on the outside. i •. i r^. From that place I could see all over the city, and tor miles round the country ; and, to tell you the truth, 1 couldn't hardly bheve my own eyes, when 1 saw so many houses. The ground seemed to be covered with bricks for miles; and every here and thar some tall steeple or lofty dome shot up from the dark mass ot houses below. Streets was runnin in every direction and carriages and hoses and peeple was all movin about iu 'em, like so many ants on a ant-hill. Away ofl to the south-east I could see the dome of the Exc-hange Hotel, and a little further was the blue arms of the 1 a- tapsco, covered whli white sails, gwine m and out ot llie harbor; while the naked masts of tlie vessf^.s at tl^e 5 80 MAJOR JONES S TRAVELS. wharves and in the basin, looked like a corn-field jest after fodder-pullin time. I could see " the star-spangled banner" on the walls of old Fort Mackhenry, still wavin " over the land of the free and the home of the brave," as proudly as it did on that glorious night, when " The rocket's red glare, and bums bustin in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was stil) thar." and I couldn't keep from singin, " long may it wave !" &c. By the time I got down from the Monument it w^as two o'clock, and I begun to have a pretty good appetite agin. I made out to git back to the Exchange, by en- quirin the way 'bout twenty times ; and pretty soon after I got thar that eveilastin gong rung agin, and we all went in to dinner. I never seed sich a hjindsum table in all my life before. It was long enuH tor a fourth of July barbacue, and all dressed out like a weddin-supper. Evry thing lookrd in order, like a army formed in line of battle. The plattoons of ivory-handled knives, and silver forks, and cut-glass goblets, and wine-glasses, was all ranged in two long columns on each side, with a napkin stand in at each place like a file-closer, crimped up as handsum and lookin as wiiite and fresh as a water- lilly. In the middle was the baggage-train, which wag made up of a long row of bright covers, whh elegant silver casters and tureens, large glass vases full of sal- lary, and lots of other dishes. I felt jest hke I was gwine into battle ; and whether Mr. Dorsey, like Lord Nelson, expected every man to do his duty or not, I wiis termined to do mine. Well, the table was soon surrounded, and then the attack commenced. It was a terrible carnage. The knives and forks rattled like small arms, the corks popped like artillery, and tlie shampane flew like blood at evry discharge. General Jennings raanoovered his troops fust rate — carryin off Ihe killed and wounded as fast as possible, and supplyin iher places with reinforcements of fresh dishes. He MAJOR Jones's travels. 81 had a regular Wellington army, made up of English, French, American, German, Itallian, and all kinds of dishes ; but, Hke Napoleon at Waterloo, he was doomed to come out second best, and in a short time his splendid army was cut to pieces, routed, dispersed, and demol- ished, horse, foot, and dragoons, or rather roast, boiled, and stewed. You know I've fit the Ingins in Florida, and can stand my hand as well as the next man in a bush-fight, but I never was in jest sich a engagement before, and I made rather a bad job of it in the beginnin. I hadn't more'n swallered ray soup when here cums a nigger pokein a piece of paper at me, which he sed was a bill. Thinks I, they're in a monstrous hurry 'bout the money, so I told him I hadn't time to look it over then. The feller looked and grinned like he didn't mean no offence, and ax'd me what Fd be helped to. Well, I know'd they didn't have no bacon and collards, so I told him to bring me a piece of roast beef. By the time I got fairly gwine on my beef, Mr. Dorsey cum in and tuck a seat at the eend of the table not far from me, and ax'd me how I was pleased with Bahimore. I told him very "vvell, and was passin a word or two with him, when t}je fust thing I know'd my plate \\^xs gone, and when I turned round to look for it, the nigger poked the bill at me agin. I begun to think that was carryin the joke a leetle too fur, and ses I — " Look here, buck ; I told you once I hadn't no time to tend to that now, and Fd like to know what in the devil's name you tuck my plate away for?" *' What'll you be helped to?" ses he, like he didn't understand me. " I ax'd for sum beef," ses I, " but " and before I could git it out he was off, and in a minit he brung roc another plate of roast beef. Well, by the time I got it salted to my likin, ani^ while I was taken a drink of water, away it went agin [ jest made up my mind I wouldn't stand no such non- 82 MAJOR Jones's travels. sence any longer, so I waited til he bning me a clean plate agin^ and ax'd me what I wanted. " Sum more beef," ses I. I kep my eyes about me this time, and shore enuff, he moment I turned to nod to sum gentlemen what Mr. Dorsey introduced me to, one of the niggers made a grab at my plate. But I was too quick for him that dme. "Stop!" ses I. " Beg pardon, sir," ses he ; " I thought you wanted another plate." '' I've had enuff' plates for three or four men already, ses I ; " and now I want sum dinner." " Very well, sir," ses he ; " what'll you have.?" " What's your name ?" ses I. " Hansum, sir," ses he. Thinks I, you wasn't named for yer good looks then, that's certain ; but I never let on. " Well, Hansum," ses I, "I want you to jest keep a eye on my plate, and not let anybody grab it off' til I'm done with it, and then I'll tell you what I want next." Jest then Mr. Dorsey called him to him and sed sum- thing in his ear, and here he cum with Mr. Dorsey's compliments and a bottle of shampane, and filled one of my glasses, and then tuck his stand so he could watch my plate, grinnin all the time like he'd found a mare's nest or sumthing. ■ The plan worked fust rate, and after that I got a fair showin at the beef. Then I ax'd Hansum what else ther was, and he brung me the bill agin, and told me I'd find it on thar. Shore enuff, it was a bill of things to eat, insted of a bill of expenses. Well, I looked it over, but I couldn't tell the rari de pouhts a la Lnlienne, or the Pigeons en compote^ or the JJiiguelles a la Tartare from any thing else, til I tasted 'em, and then I didn't hardly know the chickens from the eels, they was cooked so curious. Ther was plenty that I did know though, 10 make out a fust rate dinner, and long before the\ MAJOR Jones's travels. 83 brnng in the custards, and jellies, and pies, my appetil-^ was gone. I was jest gwine to leave the table, when Mr. Dorsey ax'd me if I liked Charlotte Roose. I toVJ him I hadn't the pleasure of her acquaintance. " Well, Majer," ses he, '' you better try a little ;" and with that he sent me a plate with sumthing on it made out of pound-cake and ice cream 'thout bein froze, which was a little the best thing I ever eat in my life. Two or three more sich dinners as this would lay mt up, so I couldn't git away from the Exchange in i month. No more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. 84 MAJOR Jones's travels. LETTER IX. No. 27 Exchange Hotel, Baltimore, May 23, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sii' — I've always found that it was the best way to make " good digestion w^ait on appetite and helth on both," as Mr. McBeth ses, to stir about a little after eatin a harty bate. So after eatin the excellent dinner at the Exchange, what I told you about in my last letter, I tuck another turn round through the city. By this time I begun to git the hang of the place a little better, and wasn't so fraid of gettin lost. I turned up South street as they call it, wharther's more tailors than would make a dozen common men — even if the old maxim is true, w^hich I never did blieve — and went up Baltimore street agin, whar the fine stores is kep, and whar the galls all go a shoppin and perminadin in the afternoons to show ther new dresses. Well, sir, I can tell you what's a positiv fact, it would «ake a French dancin master to git along in Baltimore street without runnin aginsumbo?ly, and even he couldn't shassay his way round through the troops of galls with- out runnin a fowl of one now and then, or rakin his shins all to pieces on the pine boxes what is piled all along the sidewalk, after you git above Charles street. I done the very best dodgin I could, but every now and then I run spang agin sumbody, and then while I w^as bowin and scrapin a apology to 'em, ten to one if I didn't knock sum baby over in the gutter what was cumin along with its ma, behind me, or git my cole-tail fast in among the crates and boxes so tite that I run a monstrous risk of losin it bowdaciously. But I wasn't the only one MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. ' 85 what got hung-two or three galls got ther dresses hitched up, on the nails and hoops, so they blushed as red as fire, and a old gentleman with a broad-brunmed hat, and his stockins over his trowses, tumbled over a- wheel-barrow rite into a pile of boxes and tore his clothes dredful. It tuck the old man sum time to gether him- self up, and git out of the jam he was in ^^^^^^ ^e got out he never cussed a word, but he fetched a -roan that sounded like it cum from way down below his waistbands, and went on. I thouc^ht, at fust, that the store-keepers must be doin a terrible^sight of bisness, to be shure, to be sendm ott and receiviS so much goods, but I knocked on sum of the boxes with my cane, and they sounded as holler as a old empty bee-gum. I spose the city gits a fust rate rent for the pavement, but if the merchants was to keep ther empty boxes in ther sellers, it would be a great deal more convenient for the people to pass along and 1 should think it wouldn't hurt ther contents a bit. ihe fact is a body can't git into the stores to buy nothing, for the piles of boxes round the doors. I wanted a piece of tobacker myself, but I couldn't see no store what I could git into without runnin the risk of breakm my neck or tearin my trowses. .,,.., • _• You may suppose I seed a heap of butiful wiramm in Baltimore street. Well, so I did ; but, to tell you the truth, I seed some bominable ugly ones too. ine fact is Mr. Thompson, wimmin's wimmm, all over the world ; and the old sayin, that '' fine feathers makes fine birds," is jest as true here as it is in Georgia, i m a married man, you know, and can speak my sentimenta about the galls 'thout givin offence to "obody ; or at least, 'thout bein spected of selfish motives. Well then, I say Baltimore needn't be ashamed of her wimmin, so far as buty's concerned. '^ Handsum is as handsum does," is a old and true sayin: and if the Baltimore galls is only as amiable and good as they is butiful, they'll do fust rate, take 'em on a average. But, hke S6 MAJOR Jones's travels. every other place, ther's some here that needs a mon- strous sight of goodness to make up for ther ugliness. I know it used to be a common opinion, that the Balti- more wimmin was the prettyest in the world ; and I've heard people what had been here before, advise the young merchants what was gwine to New York to buy goods, that if they didn't want to lose ther harts, they'd better go round this city. But that was a good many years ago, and you know time alters circumstances as well as circumstances alters cases, and this is the way I ac- count for the change. Then the Baltimore galls was most all natives, and come from the same stock, and they was so universally handsum that nobody could help but notice it. But the city is growed a monstrous sight since them days — a great many people from all parts of the world have come into it — and what was the buty of Balti- more, has been mixed up with and distributed about among sich a heap of ugliness, that a great deal of it is spilt altogether ; and what does remain pure and un- adulterated, aint more'n half so conspicuous now as it used to be. But not withstandin, ther's some monstrous handsum wimmin in Baltimore, some butiful creaters with dark hazel eyes, bright auburn ringlets, Grecian noses, coral lips, and plump, graceful forms, that is enough to melt the ice from round the heart of a old bachellor who had been cold as a lizzard for twenty years ; and its my positiv opinion, that a man what couldn't find a gall handsum enufT in this city, would stand a monstrous poor chance of gittin suited short of gwine to Georgia, where the galls, you know, take ther temperments from the warm Southern skies, ther buty from the wild flowers that grow in our fields, and ther voices from the birds that sing in our groves. After gwine up as far as Youtaw street, I crossed ove and cum down on tother side of the street, lookin along at one thing and another til I got most down to Charles .street. By this time I begun to be monstrous dry, and as I'd heard tell a good deal about the sody water what " It tuck the breth clean out of me: my tongue felt as if it was full of nee- dles, and I drapped the glass and spurted the rest out of my mouth quicker 'u lightnin', but before I could git breth to speak to the chap, he ax'd me if I wasn't weU."— Letter ix. p. 87. MAJOR Jones's travels. 87 they have in the big cities, I thought I'd try a little at the fust place whar they sold it. Well, the fust docter's shop I cum to had a Sody water sign up, and in I went to git sum. Ses I, " I want a drink of yer sody water." '' What kind cf syrup will you have ?" ses he, puttin Us hand on a bottle of molasses. " I don't want no syrup," ses I, " I want sody water.' " Ah," ses he, " you want extra sody." And with that he tuck a glass and put sum white stuff in it, and then held it under the spout til it was full, and handed it to me. I put it to my hed and pulled away at it, but I never got sich a everlastin dose before in all my life. I got three or four swallers down before I begun to taste the dratted stuff, and you may depend" it liked to killed me right ded in my tracks. It tuck the breth clean out of me, and when I cum to myself, my tons-up f^lt like u was full of needles, and my stummick like I'd swallered a pint of frozen soapsuds, and the tears was runnin out of my eyes in a stream. I d rapped the glass and spurted tho rest out of my mouth quicker'n lightnin, but before I could git breth to speak to the chap what was standin behind the counter starein at me with all his might, he ax'd me if I wasn't well. " Well! thunder and lightnin," ses I, '^ do you want to pisen me to deth and then ax me if I'm well ?" " Pisen !" ses he. '* Yes," ses I, " pisen ! I ax'd you for sum sody w\^ter, and you gin me a dose bad enough to kill a boss." '' I gin you nothin but plain sody," ses he. " Well," ses I, " if that's what you call sody water I'll be dadfetch'd if I'll try any more of it. Why, it' worse nor Ingin turnip juice stew'd down six gallons into a pint, cooled off in a snow-bank and mixed with a harrycane." 88 MAJOR Jones's travels. Jest then some bilin hot steam come up into my throte, that liked to blow'd my nose rite out by the roots. Ses he, " Maytie you ain't used to drinkin it without syrup." "No," ses I, '' and what's more, I never will be." " It's much better with sassypariller, or gooseberr} syrup," ses he. " Will you try some with syrup ?" " No, I thank you," ses I, and I paid him a thrip fo the dose I had, and put out. I wanted some tobacker monstrous bad : so I stepped into a store and ax'd for sum. The man said he didn't sell nothin but staples, but he reckoned I'd find some a little further down, at Smith's. Well, I went along lookin at the signs till I cum to Shaw, Smith & Co. Thinks I this must be the place. So in I went and ax'd a very good lookin man with whiskers, what was standin near the door, if he had any good chewin tobacker. " No sir," ses he, " we haint got any more of that article on hand than we keep for our own use ; but we would like to sell you some carpets to-day." " Carpets ?" ses I ; and shore enuff, come to look, ther wasn't another thing but carpets and oil cloths, and mattins and rugs and sich things in the store ; and I do blieve ther was enuff of 'em of all sorts and figers to furnish all the houses in Georgia. After a litlle explanation he told me the Smith I wanted was J. C. Smith, down opposite to the Museum. He said I'd find lots of tobacker and segars thar, and I'd know the place by a big Ingin standin out before the door. Shore enutf, when I went thar I got some fust rate segars and tobacker, and a box to put it in. That's the way they do bisness here. They dont keep dry goods and groceries, calicoes, homespun, rum, salt, trace chains and tobacker all together like they do m Pineville, but every kmd of goods has a store to itself. If you ever come to Baltimore and want some tobacker or segars, you must go to the stores what's got little painted Ingins or Niggers standin out by the doors ; MAJOR Jones's travels. 89 for you moiight jest as well go to a meetih house to borrow a hand-saw, as go to any of the stores here for any thing out of ther Ime. I spose, like the sody water, it's well enuff to them that's used to it, but it's monstrous aggravokin to them what aint. As I hadn't been down in the lower part of the city, I thought I'd git into one of the omminybuses and ride over to Fells' Pint, and see how it looked. Well, it's a good long stretch from one eend of Baltimore to the other I can tell you, and after you cross over Jones' falls what runs through to the river and divides the old Town from the new one, you're monstrous apt to think your gettin into another city, if not in another nation. 1 lik'd to put my jaws out of jint tryin to read sum of the signs. Sum of 'em was painted in Dutch, so I couldn't make out the fust letter, and sum of the people looked so Dutch that you mought almost feel it on 'em with a stick. I noticed when anybody wanted to git out they jest pulled a leather strap and the omminybus cum to a halt. So when we got down to Fell street, I tuck hold of the strap and gin it a jerk, but the bosses went on fast as ever, so I jest laid my wait on the strap to stop 'em. " Hellow !" ses the driver outside, *' do you want to pull me in two ?" Cum to find out the strap was hitch'd to the man insted of the bosses, and I liked to draw'd him through the hole wharhe tuck his money. He was mad as a hornit, but when he looked in and seed who it was, he had nothin more to say. I expect some parts of Fells' Pint would suit Mr. Dickens fust rate. It's old as the hills, and crooked as a ram's horn, and a body can hear jest as much bad English thar as he could among the cockneys of London and can find sum fancy caracters, male and female, that would do honor to St. Gileses or any other romantic quarter of the British metropolis. After lookin about a little while at the sailors that was drinkin toasts and sin^jin songs in the taverns, J 90 MAJOR Jones's travels. ^' went down on one of the wharves whar therwas a ship jest cum from Liverpool. The sailors was singin " All together, oh, heve oh !" and pullin her in to the wharf. Poor fellers, they had been out thirty days, workin hard, in all kinds of weather, and now they was cumin ashore to giv ther money to the sharpers that was lookin out for 'em like sharks for a ded body. I couldn't help but feel sorry for 'em, when I thought how in a few days thay would be without money and without frends, and would gladly go back to the perils of the ocean, to escape the treachery that beset 'em on shore. I went and tuck a seat on some logs what was layin on the wharf, and smoked a cigar and looked at the vessels sailin about in the harbour. While I was settin thar thinkin of ships and sailoi's, and one thing and an- other, a little feller come along with a baskit on his arm, and ax'd me if I w^anted to buy some matches. I told him no I didn't want none. " You better buy some, sir," ses he, " I sell 'em very cheap." The little feller looked so poor and pittiful that I couldn't help feelin a little sorry for him. " How much do you ax for 'em?" ses I. " Eight boxes for a levy," ses he. They was jest the same kind of boxes that we git two for a thrip in Georgia, and though I didn't want none, I thought I'd buy some of him jest to patronize him '' Well," ses I, " give me two boxes." The little feller handed me two boxes and I gin him a sevenpence. " You may keep the change for profit," ses I. " Thank you, sir," ses he, and his eyes brightened up ds he put the money in his pocket. " I like to encourage honest enterprize," ses I. " Be honest, and never lie or cheat, and you'll always find friends^," ses I. (3e his nose and wiggled his fingers at me. Do you see anyu g b ' eh, hofes?' ''—Lttter ix. p. 91. MAJOR JONES S TRAVELS. 91 "Yes sir," ses he, "I never steals nor cheats no body." " That's right," ses I. That's a good boy." I went on smokin, and in a few minits, when I thought he was gone, I heard the httle feller behind me agin. " What," ses I. *' My sister died last week," ses he, " and we're very poor, and my mammy's sick, and I can't make money enough to buy medicine for the baby " " Well," ses I, " I don't want no more matches, but here's a quarter to add to your profits to-day." " Thank you, sir," ses he, and he went off agin thankin me, for the quarter. Poor little feller, thinks I, how much better to give him that quarter of a dollar than to smoke it out in segars. He'll go home to his poor mother, happy, and if he has fell any temptation to be a rogue, the recol- lection of my kindness will give him courage to be honest. I hadn't got done thinkin about him before here he was, back agin. " Daddy died last week," ses he, " and sister Betsy got her foot skalded, and we haint had no bred to eat not for a week — ever sense daddy died — and " Look here," says I, "you better go before you kill off all your relations : 1 begin to think you're a little imposter." " Oh, no sir, daddy is ded," ses he, " and mammy arid sister lives all alone, and mammy told me to ax you if you w^ould come and see her and give her some money." I begun to smell a rat, and ses I, " I'll see your mammy to the mischief fust, and if I'd had the same opinion of you that I have now, I'd never gin you the fust red cent." With that the little ragged cus sot up a big laugh, and put his thum on his nose and wiggled his fingers at me. " Do you see any thing green," ses he, " eh, hos ? What do you think of me now, eh ? Would you like 92 MAJOR Jones's travels. to buy another levy's worth of matches ? You see," ses he, " I'm one of the b'hoys! — a out and out Fell's Pinter, by J ;" and then he ripped out a oath that nade the hair stand on my hed, and away he went. I felt like I was completely tuck in, and I never sed another word. But I made up my mind when I gin another quarter away to encourage honesty, it would be to a different sort of candidate ; and, throwing the stump of my segar into the water, I left the place and tuck the fust omminybus for the Exchange. I'm done with Baltimore, and shall start to-morrow for the city of Brotherly Love. So no more at present from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. MAJOK JONES's TRAVELS. 93 LETTER X. Filladelfy, May 23, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Si?' — You may be sure I was tired when I got back to the Exchange after my visit to Fell's Pint, last night. I couldn't help but think how I had been tuck in by that bominable little match seller, and I felt rite mad at myself for bein sich a fool. I had a fust rate appetite for my supper, and by the politeness of Mr. Dorsey — who, tween you and me, is one of the cleverest fellers I've met with sense I left Georgia — I got a invitation to take tea in the lady's supper room. You know when the grand caraven was in Pineville last year, the manager charged a thrip extra for admittin people when they was feedin the annimals. Well, it was worth the money ; and if Mr. Dorsey had charged me double price for eatin at the lady's ordinary as they call it, I wouldn't grumbled a bit. Ther was a heap of ladys at the table, rangin from litde school galls up to old grandmothers, all dressed out as fine as a fiddle, and lookin as pleasin and happy as the Georgia galls do at a Fourth of July barbycue ; and sich a gabblin as they did keep I never heard before. Jest over opposite to me was a bridle party from Virginny, what had jest been gettin married and had come to Baltimore to see ther honey-moon. It was really a interestin party, and it almost tuck my appetite from me to look at 'em, they was so happy and so lovin. They was only married 'bout a week, and of course the world was all moonshine and hummin-birds and roses to them. They felt like ther was no other inhabitants in creation, and that all that was beautiful and bright and good on earth, was 94 MAJOR Jones's travels. made for their enjoyment alone. They had ther brides- maid and groomsman along, and two or three more young ladys and gentlemen. The galls was all mon- strous handsum, but the bride was the handsumest of 'ern all. Pore gall, she looked sort o' pale and couldn't eat much supper for lookin at her husband, and he drunk his tea 'thout any sweetenin in it, just cause she looked in his cup with her butiful soft eyes. They put me in mind of the time when I was married, and of Mary, and by the time supper was over I was as homesick as the mischief. Segars is good for the blues sometimes, and I smoked til my hed whirled round so I couldn't hardly hold my hat on, but it didn't do me not the least bit of good ; so I went to my room and tried to find in the arms of Morfyus a substitute for the arms of her who is a great deal dearer to me th?n any thing else in this world. I didn't git much time to sleep for dreamin all night, and when I waked up in the mornin, Hansum sed the second gong was rung, and if I was gwine to Filiadelfy in the cars I better git up rite off. Well, out I got, and dressed and went down to breckfust. After eatin a good breckfust I ax'd for my bill, and Hansum brung down my baggage. Every time I looked at Hansum he was grinnin, but as soon as he seed me lookin at him he straitened up his face and sort o' pretended to scratch his hed. I couldn't think what was the matter with the feller ; and when I looked at him pretty hard he grinned as much as to say, it was the strangest thing in the world to him w^hy I couldn't understand his meanin. Bimeby, when I was puttin my change in my purse, I spected what was the matter. " That's it ; aint it, Hansum," ses I, handin him a quarter. " Yes, sir, thank you, sir," ses he, and he grinned more'n ever, and if you ever seed a ugly nigger he was one. When I was reddy to start, I went to the door to see if they had put my trunks on the waggon to take them to the cars, and rite in the middle of the hall I met a MAJOn JONES's TRAVELS. 95 cliap standin with a big painted tin label on his buzzum what had on it, " Boot Black," in big yaller letters. Thar he stood like a sentinel on quarter gard, as stiff as a post, and as I walked by him he kept turnin round, so his sio;n was all the time in view. When I cum back thar he stood in the same place, with his hands down by is side, and his hed up, lookin me rite in the face. Thinks I, he must be a deaf and dum man what blacks the boots of the establishment, and he want's me to giv him sum change. Well, I didn't know nothin about the deaf and dum language, and as I didn't have no slate and pencil handy, I begun to make signs to him, by pintin at my boots, and then at him, and then doin my hands like 1 was brushin a boot. He nodded his hed. Then I tuck out my purse and made a motion to him as much as to say, do you want sum money, and he nodded his hed agin, twice. Poor feller, thinks I, he can't dun nobody, and must lose many a debt whar people's al- ways gwine away in a hurry so. So I handed him a half a dollar. When it fell in his hand he opened his eyes and started like he was tuck by surprise. " Thank ye, sir," ses he, scrapin his foot and bowin his hed like a snappin turtle. " Thank ye, sir," ses he. You may depend that sot me back like the mischief. " If you ain't dum," ses I, " why didn't you speak before," ses I. " I had nothin to spake of," ses he. " Couldn't you sed you was the boot-blacker," ses [. " I'd tould ye that," ses he, " but I thought you could rade; " ' and where's the use of keepin a dog and doin one's own barkin,' " ses he. Tuck in agin, thinks I. If I hadn't thought he was a dum man I wouldn't gin him but a sevenpence, nohow. It was nine o'clock, and I was seated in the cars on my way to Filladelfy. The road runs rite along in the edge of the city, near the wharves, and gives a body a pretty good idee of the heavy bisness part of Baltimore from the basin clear out to Fell's Pint, in Old Town. 96 MAJOR JONESES TRAVELS. After we got out of the city, they took . ut the horses and hitched in the old steam Be?zebub, and away we went, rattle-te-klink, over embankments and through cuts, across fields and over bridges, until we was soon out of site of Baltimore. The mornin w^as dark and cloudy and the ground was wet ; so if we lost any thing by not havin brighter skies and a better view of the scenery, we made up for it by not havin no dust to choke us to deth. This is a butiful railroad, and the cars is as comfortable as a rockin chair with arms to it. You haint got to be bumpin and crowdin up together in the seats like you do on some roads, for every man has a comfortable seat to himself; and another thing that I liked very much was, that the sparks aint always dartin about your face, and lightin down when you aint spectin nothin and burnin your clothes off of you. I begin to find it a great deal colder here than it was in Georgia when I left home. We had summer in Pineville more'n a month ago, and everybody had gardin vegetables on their tables, and my corn was more'n knee high long before I left. Here ther aint hardly a English pea to be seen, and the cornfield malitia is still on duty to skeer the birds from pullin up the sprouts. But in that line of bisness they can beat us all holler, for I've seed two or three skeercrows standin about in the corn- fields here that wouldn't only skeer all the birds in Geor- gia to deth, but they wouldn't leave a nigger on the plantation in twenty-four hours after they wer put in the field. They looked more like the old boy in regimentals than any thing I can think of. The road passes thiough a rather thinly popilated country most of the distance, til it gits to Haver-de- grass, whar it crosses the Susquehanny river. After that it goes through a country that keeps gettin better and better til we git to Wilmington, Delaware, which is a butiful town on the Brandywine river, 'bout thirty miles %m Filladelfy. Between Baltimore and the Susque- oanny we crossed over several rivers, on bridges, som MAJOR JONES 3 TKAVELS. 97 of 'em more'n a milt long, butther aintno chanGjin, only at the Susquehanny, which we crossed in a butifui steam- boat to the cars on the other side. From Wilmington all the way to Filladelfy, we w^er in site of the broad Delaware on our right, on the banks of which, and as far as we could see on the left, is one of the handsumest agricultural districts in the country — the houses lookin like palaces and the farms like gardens. * When the cars got to the depo, they was surroninded as usual by a regiment of whips. But the Filladelfy hackmen behaved themselves pretty w^ell for men in ther line of bisness. Ther wasn't more'n twenty of 'em at me at one time, and none of 'em didn't 'tempt to take my baggage from me whether I would let 'em have it or not. Soon as I got so that I knowed which eend I was standin on, I took a hack and druv to the United States Hotel in Chestnut street, rite opposite the old raw head and bloody bones, the United States Bank. After dinner I tuck a walk up Chestnut street to the old State House, whar the Continental Congress made the Declaration of Independence. The old bildin stands whar it did, and the doorsills is thar, upon which the feet of our revolutionary fathers once rested ; but whar are they now ? Of all the brave hearts that throbbed m them old halls on the 4th of July, 1776, not one now is warmed by the pulse of life ! One by one they have sunk down into ther graves, leavin a grateful pos terity to the enjoyment of the civil and religious blessms for which they pledged ther " lives, ther fortins and thei sacred honors." I felt like I was walkin on consecrated ground, and I couldn't help but think that if some of our members of Congress was to pay a occasional pilgrimage to this Mecky of our political faith, and dwell but for a few hours on the example of the worthy men who once waked the echoes of these halls with ther patriotic eloquence, they would be apt to go back wiser and better politicians than they was when they cum, and that 98 MAJOB Jones's travels. we would have less sound and more sense, less for Buncum and more for the country in ther speeches in our Capitol at Washington. After lookin about the old hall, I went up stairs into the steeple, whar the bell still hangs what was cast by order of Congress, to proclaim liberty to the world. It is cmcked and ruined, and like the w^alls in w^hich it- hangs, the monuments and statues and paintins, aad every other relic of them days, it remains a silent memento of the past, and as such it should be preserved as long as the metal of which it is made will stick to- gether. After takin a good look at it and readin the inscription on it, I went up higher in the steeple, and tuck a look at the city. Well, I thought thar was brick and morter enough under my eyes at one time when I w^as on the Washington monument in Baltimore ; but, sir, Balti- more, large as it is, ain't a primin to Filladelfy. I could see nothin but one eternal mass of houses on every side. On the east, I could see the Delaware, what divided the city from the houses on the Jersey side, but on the north and south, it was impossible to see the eend of 'em. They stretched out for miles, until you couldn't tell one from another, and then the confused mass of chimneys, roofs and steeples, seemed to mingrle in the gray obscure of the smoky horizon. The streets run north and south, east and west, at right angles, as strait and level as the rows in a cotton patch. The fact xs, I can't compare the city to any thing else but one everlastin big chess board, covered with pieces. The churches with steeples^ answerin for castles, the State-house. Exchange and other public bildins, for kings, the Bank.s for bishops, the Theatres and Hotels for knights, and so on down til you cum to the private houses, which would do to stand for counters. The only difficulty in the comparison is that ther ain't no room to move — the game bem com- pletely blocked or checkmated every whar, excepi round MAJOR Jones's travels. 99 the edges, and whar ther is now and then a square left for a public walk. •, . .1 I was standin thar ruminatin and wonderin at the great city that was stretched out at my feet and thinkin to myself what a heap of happiness and misery, wealth and poverty, virtue and vice it contamed, and how if 1 was a Asmodeus what a interestin panorama it would afford me, when the fust thing I know'd I cum in a ace of jumpin spang off the steeple into the tree-tops below. Whano- ! went something rite close by me, with a noise louder^'than a fifty-six pounder, that made the old steeple totter and creak as if it was gwine all to pieces. I grabbed hold of the railins and held on to 'em with all my might, til I tuck seven of them allfired licks, every one of°which I thought would nock my senses out of me. It jarred my very inards, and made me so deaf I couldn't hear myself think for a ower afterwards. Come to find out it was the town clock strikin in the steeple rite over my head. It was a monstrous lucky thing for me that it wasn't no later, for I do believe if it had been ten or leven o'clock it would been the deth of me. As soon as I got able to travel I cum down out of that place and went through Independence Square, what's right in the rear of the State House, to Wash- ington Square. This is said to be the handsumest public square in the world— it certainly is the handsumest I ever seed, and I do blieve that on this occasion ther wasn't that spot of earth on the whole globe that could compare with it. I don't mean the square itself, though that is handsum enuff in all conscience, with its butiful gravelled walks, its handsum grass-plats, its shady trees, and ellegant iron fence, that would cost more itself than all the hviuses in Pineville— but what I mean is the scene what I saw in the square. If there was one I do blieve ther was fifteen hundied to two thousand children in the square at one time, ah rano-in from two to seven and eight years old, and all drelsed in the most butiful style. Thar they was. little 100 MAJOR Jones's travels. galls and boys, all playin and movin about in every direction — some jumpin the rope, some rollin hoops, nere a party of little galls dancin the polker, and thar another playin at battledoor or the graces — some runnin races and some walkin, some of 'em butiful as little Coopids, and all as merry and sprightly as crickets. It was a kind of juvenile swoiree, as they call 'em here, and I never did see any little creaters that seemed to enjoy themselves so much. I never seed so many children together before in all my life, and it seemed to me ther wasn't a sickly one among 'em. Perhaps the sickly ones couldn't come out when the wether was so cool. But if they was a fair specemen of the children of Filladelfy, then I can say there aint a city in the world that can beat her for handsum, clean, well-dressed, healthy-lookin children. Ther was lots of nurses among 'em to take care of 'em, and now and then you could see a pair of little niggers tryin to mix in with 'em ; but it was no go, and the pore little blackys had to sneak round the corners and look on like pore folks at a froi- hck, the little children not bein sufficiently edicated yet to enable them to discover their equals in the sable de- scendants of Africa. While I was lookin about in the square who should I see but the famous Count Barraty, what was out to Pineville you know about two years ago lecturein on Greece. Thar he was with the same old shaggy locks and big moustaches, standin near a groop of servant galls, with his arms folded, lookin on in the attitude of Bonaparte at St. Helleny. Poor old feller I couldn't help but pity him, when I thought what terrible vicissi- tudes he has passed through sense he was in Georgia. You know when he left Pineville he told us we would hear from him in the papers, and in less than a month we did hear from him shore enufT in the Pickyune, what gin a account of that terrible encounter he had with a cowhide in the hands of sum gentleman in New Orleans, whose lady didn't understand Greek enufT to enable her MAJOR Jones's travels. 101 to appreciate his foreign manners. The count don't wear so much jeweh-y now as he use to in Georgia, and his clothes look a little seedy. But he's the same old Count in every other respect. As soon as he seed me he re laxed the austerity of his moustaches and went out of the square. Bimeby the swoiree was over, and the nurses begun to gether up ther charges and prepare for gwine home. The merry laugh and song soon died away, and troop after troop of little people filed out of the gates in every direction, until the square was entirely deserted. It was tea time and I went to my hotel. Sense tea 1 have rit you this letter, informin you of my arrival here. I'm gwine to bed early to-night, and if it don't rain to- morrow I'm gwine to take a early start and see what FiUadelfy's made out of before nite. So no more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. 102 MAJOR Jones's trayels. LETTER XI. Filladelfy, May 24, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sir — You know it's the fashion now-a-days for young people at the south, when they git married, to start rite off to the north before the preacher has hardly had time to bless 'em. Well, 1 never could make out what they done so for — I never could see why they couldn't stay at home til they got rite well acquainted with one another before they went whar they wouldn't see nothing but strangers. One thing I do know though, and that is, they nor nobody else don't come to these big cities to sleep ; for if the seven sleepers themselves was to put up in one of these northern hotels, they'd have to take a dose of lodnum to save ther reputations. The omnibusses and carriages, and drays and carts, seems all the time like one evtr- lastin harrycane, roarin and rattlin, and crashin and smashin along over the stones from mornin til night, and from night til mornin ; and I don't care if they put you seven stories high, you can hear 'em all the time, and you can't sleep a wink, if you're ever so tired, til you learn to sleep with your ears open, and to dream 'bout bein in sich a infernal racket that you can't hear yourself snore. I aint very certain whether I waked up at all or not this mornin, but I got up to breckfast, and after sprucin up a little, I went out to see the city. Gwine along up to Sixth street, who should I meet but Mr. ^lore, what you know was out to Pineville winter before last, tra- vellin for his helth. You remember he was almost ded with the consumption, and looked like he was bleeged MAJOR Jones's travels. 103 to carry rocks in his pockets to keep the wind from blowin him away. Well, would you blieve it, he's a sound and well man, and looks this day as if he mought live to be a hundred years old. I never seed such a alteration in any body in my life, and I wouldn't have know'd him from Adam if he hadn't spoke to me fust. " Why, Major Jones," ses he, " how are you — how d'ye do ? I'm so glad to see you. How's Mrs. Jones and the baby, and all of 'em ?" I looked at him right hard while he was shakin my hand, and ses I, *' You've got the advantage of me, sir." " Why, don't you know me, Major — More's my name — don't you remember More, what used to come to your plantation after ?" " To be sure," ses I. " But is it possible ? Why you don't look like the same man. I never should have know'd you agin in the world. What upon yeath has brung you out so ?" " Why, major, when I cum back almost ded last Bummer, I tuck to drinkin " " Taint possible, Mr. More ; is you bloated up so ?" Bes I. " Oh no," ses he, " I didn't take to drinkin licker. [ drunk 'bout fifteen bottles of Schenck's Pulmonic Syrup, and you see what it's done for me." "Is it possible ?" ses I. '' Yes," ses he, " I weigh a hundred and thirty-five pounds now, and I'm indebted to Schenck's Syrup for nil but my bones. But no more about that," ses he ' Whar are you gwine, and what can I do for you. Is per famly along ?" " No," ses I, " I'm jest on a little trip of observation to the north, and am only gwine to stay a day or two to look at your city." " Well," ses he, " then you'll jest walk with mc to die Exchange. When I git through a little bisness I'vt* 104 MAJOR Jones's travels. got thar, we'll take a drive, and I'll show you the won- ders of this part of the world." Well, we went down to the Exchange, a butiful white marble bildin, with columns and porticos, and two mon- strous grate big lions layin upon the side of the steps. Its a very handsum bildin, and like all the public bildins in Filladelfy, is as clean and white as a Georgia bred- tray after a hard scrubbin. I looked round the big Change room, at the angels painted on the ceilin, and the other curiosities, til Mr. More got through his bis- ness, and then we went to the hotel, whar I waited til he could go home and git reddy. Bimeby here he cum in his carriage, with two splended match greys, and a couple of frends who was gwine with us. After introducin me to Mr. Wiggins and Mr. Hunter, we got in and druv out to Fairmount Water Works on the Skoolkill. I've seed picters of this place before, but I didn't have no idee it was so handsum, or that it was sich a grate curiosity. I can't take time to describe it to you now, but I can jest give you a idee of it. Well, you must know the river Skoolkill is a grate big river, almost as big as the Savanna or the Chattahooche in Georgia, that runs down by the city til it empties into the Dela- ware. It used to go sweepin along on its journey to the sea as free as any other river in the nation, til some years ago, when the city authorities tuck it into therheds that they'd dam it, and set it to work. So they did ; and now it don't only furnish the water that the people use, but it is compelled, its own self, to throw that water up into the basins on the hill, so it can run down in the pipes all over the city. Ther is some of the biggest water wheels thar in the world, what make a noise like distant thunder, and remind one of the groans of old Ixion, as ther grate ponderous forms turn gloomily on ther never-resting axis. The house whar the works is, is a dark ug y place, and made me feel bad to be MAJOR Jones's travels. 105 tiiar, but when I cum out and looked at the butiful basin of water between it and the hill, and seed the statu of a gall standin on a rock jest above, holdin a goose by the legs, with its neck stretched up and squirtin out of its mouth a stream of crystal water, that shot up into the bright sunshine and come down in sparklin dimonds all over her white marble shoulders, and seed the handsum bildins and statues and fountains, and the butiful scenery all around, I thought it was one of the most delightful places I ever seed in ray life, and if I'd had time to spare I could spent a whole day looking round it. After lookin about awhile at the Wire Suspension Bridge and other curiosities, we went to the Girard College, what we've heard so much about for the last fifteen years. You know Mr. Girard was a monstrous rich man, what died in Filladelfy a long ^ime ago, and left a heap of money to bild a college for 'he edication of the pore orfan boys of Pensilvany. The money was left in the hands of directors, who was to see that it was put to the proper purpose. Well, they're bildin a college, sure enuff, but I have my doubts whether it will ever be any benefit to the pore orfans for whom it was intended. It aint done yet, and thousands of pore children have growed up to be men sense it was commenced. When it is done, it will be one of the most aristocratic lookin institutions in this country, and I'm of the notion that if any pore boy ever does go through it, it will be like I did : in at the door and out at the roof, if he don't git kicked out before he gits so high. They tell me it aint nothin like the bildin Mr. Girard wanted it to be, and all the money has been used up in bildin a palace that wont have nothin to support it after it's bilt. I spose then it'll be seized for its debts and sold to some rich corporation for 'bout half what the ground is worth that it stands on, after which it wih be come a school whar no pore boy can ever learn his A 106 MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. B. C's. One thing is certain, it will be the handsumesl school house in creation when it is done ; but I think if I had Ihe money what one of its white marble pillars cost, I could do more good to the pore orfans of Pensil- vany with it than the whole bildin will ever do. No- body can look at this magnificent pile without bein filled with admiration ; but every true frend of the pore orfan would rather see it tumbled to the ground, if the money it has cost could be used to bild log free schools where they're needed, and pay teachers that w^ould edicate the poor children of the country. The greatest wonder to me is, how a man what had sense enuff to make so much money, and filanthropy enuff to give it for such a object, could allow'd himself to be so bamboozled in the man- agement of it. It convinces me of one thing, and that is, if a man really wants to do good in this w^orld with his money, he better be at it when he's on the top of the ground himself. We went through the bildin from the bottom to the top. It's all solid brick and marble, even to the roof, what is covered with marble shingles on brick rafters. Fire can't git hold of wood enuff to raise a blaze, and the walls is so thick and strong that nothin short of Florida lightnin or a South American yeathquake couldn't knock it down. While w^e was standin lookin at its lofiy proportions, its white marble walls, and its massive Corinthian cO' lumns, two little ragged boys come up to us and ax'd us to give 'em some money. " Please, sir, give me a cent to buy some bred for my mammy," sed one of 'em. He didn't have no matches to sell, and I gin himathrip, but I couldn't help but think how much more real inte- rest he had in that thrip, than he had in the magnificent edifice that was erectin for him. The old maxim ses, that charity covers a heap of sins, but when the amount of money that is misapplied by Ui.? ostentation of the rich, in the name of charity, is deducted from the sum MAJOR Jones's travels. 107 total that is given, ther wouldn't be enufT left to save many souls, I reckon. The next place we went to, was the Laurel Hill cemetary, a butiful berryin ground what stands on the banks of the Skoolkill, about a mile above the water w^orks. The fust thing we seed after we got in the gate was a butiful group of sculpture in coarse brown stone, representin Walter Scott the great novelist, settin down with his hat in his hand, holdin a interview with " Old Mortality," who is in the act of repairin a old tomb-stone, while his donkey is standin by with his bag of tools on its back. The figures looks like life, and made me feel very solemn, as I recollected the character of that odd old man. It is a great pity that the artist didn't use better materials. Such a work should last as long as the fame of the great author, what will endure til the eend of the granite hills themselves. Mr. More tuck me all through the grounds, and showed me a heap of handsome monuments, and tombs of great statesmen and generals, and rich people, among which was some that cost more than enuff to bild a fine house to live in. It is a butiful place, whar rich people moulder in good society ; but whether they rest any better beneath ther costly marble monuments, than the pore people who sleep on the only spot of yeath they ever occupied without payin rent, and who have not even a slab, to perpetuate ther memories, is a circumstance what depends on the character of the lives they led in this w^orld. The monuments of wealth is gratifyin to the pride and grate- ful to the feelins and affections of the livin, but it is only the wealth of virtuous actions that avails us any thing when we are laid in the grave. A pure unspotted heart in the grave is worth all Jhe costly marble that could be piled upon it. We looked round and red the inscriptions til we got tired, and then we went to our carriage. It was pretty aear rlinner time, and the company proposed to go to 108 MAJOR Jones's travels. Evan's Tavern, at the Falls, and git a dinner of Catfish and Coffy. Well, Mr. More's greys soon brung us to the place, and we had a dinner in no time, and a fust rate dinner it was. I never drunk better CoiTy nor eat better Catfish, and we had lots of other good things be- sides. If you're ever in these parts, you must be sure o take a dinner at the Falls Tavern. After dinner we went on til we cum to the Wis- sahicken, and druv along on its banks for about a mile, through some of the prettyest scenery I ever seed in my life. The stream runs along between rocky banks that rise into bold and broken hills on both sides, and are covered with trees that looks as fresh and wild as if they didn't stand in sight of the smoke of one of the largest cities in the world. • Every now and then we met parties of boys and galls Avho was out boat-ridin and gatherin flowers, and once we came across a whole skool of galls who was out on a May frolick, with music and banners, carrying ther armsfull of flowers, and laughin and singin like so many wood nymphs. This is the place whai Fanny Keml)lc WTit sich butiful poetry, and I don't wonder at it, for I do blieve a wheelbarrow would squeak in measured melody if it was rolled along on the bank of this butiful stream without grease. But poor Fanny fives no longer in a w^orld of poetic dreams. She has proved the sad realities of this wicked world, and her eyes, that no longer look upon the lovely Wissahicken, would now see more to make her sad than happy in scenes that was once so delightful to her contemplation. Turnin away from the Wissahicken, we crossed over to Germantown, the place whar you know the great battle was fit in the revolution. We undertuck to go the whole length of it, but after we got up as far as Chew's House, w^har the British made sich a obstinate resistance, I begun to feel sorry for the horses, and told Mr. More w^e had better turn back. It's a monstrous curious, ancient looking town, with houses all bilt of MAJOR Jones's travels. 109 stone, and looking like the great gran d-d adies of all the bouses in the world. I would liked to seed tother eenJ of it, but I'm told it's so long that when people from the Filladelfy eend want to go to tother, they take the steam- boats on the Delaware and go round byway of Burling- ton or Trenton, New Jersey. The inhabitants is most of 'em people who do bisness in Filladelfy and have their residence out thar. Mr. Wiggins pinted out to me the residences of a good many of his acquaintances, and among the rest that of Mr. C. Alexander, the Alex- ander the Great of the Filladelfy press. We wasn't long gwine to the city, but it was some time before we got to the United States Hotel. As we druv along through the streets I couldn't help but notice how strait and clean they was, and every now and then we met people what they call Quakers — the stiffest, starchiest, mealy-mouthed lookin people I ever seed. The men had on broad-tailed snuff-colored coats and broad-rimmed hats, and looked as sober and solemn as if butter wouldn't melt in their mouths. The wimmm, most all of 'em, had on drab colored dresses and wore silk bonnets what sot rite down over ther faces like cala- bashes, so you couldn't hardly see whether they waf nandsum or not. But every now and then I got a glims( of a monstrous pretty face from under them bominabh wagon-cover lookin bonnets. Ther's a grate many Qua kers in Filladelfy, and they're monstrous good people only they will meddle with what don't consarn 'em, anC keep all the time botherinthe Southern people 'boutthei niggers. I don't want to say any thing agin the Quaker; — I know that as a class ther aint a more honest, re spectable body of people in the country. But then 1 really do think that people what claim so much liberty of conscience as to exampt 'em from the discharge of ther duty to ther country, by whose laws they are pro- tected in all the privileges of citizenship, ought at least to allow the people of the South liberty of conscience \ 1^0 MAJOR Jones's travels. to be the judges of ther own domestic institutions. Peo- ple like them who go for non-resistance under all cir- cumstances, ought to be the last people in the world to make aggressions upon the rights of others. But I musent git on that subject or Fll never git done my letter. It was most tea-time when we got back. I went to the Theatre to see the Opera last night, but I'll tell you aL about that in my next. So no more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. MAJOR Jones's travels. Ill LETTER XII. Filladelfy, May 25, 1845. To Mr. Thompson -.—Dear Sir— I told you in my last letter that I was gwine to the opery, and that Pd tell you what I thought of 'em. Well, to tell you the truth, I like the opery well enuff, all but the singin. The scenery is very handsum, the actin is good, and the fiddlin is fust rate ; but so much singin spiles evry thing. The opery what I went to see at the Chesnut street theatre, was the Bohemian Gall, and the acters was the celebrated Segwin Troop, as they call 'em, and I spose they done it up as well as anybody else could do it ; but accordin to my notion, there's monstrous little sense in any such carryins on. If operys didn't cum from Paris, whar all the fashionable bonnets and evry thing else comes from, and it wasn't considered un- fashionable not to admire 'em, I don't blieye ther's many peeple in this country what would be wilKn to pay a half a dollar a night to hear sich a everlastin cater- waulin as they do make. As soon as I got my tea, I went to the theatre, what ain't a grate ways from my hotel, and after buyin a ticket of a man in a little hole outside of the ^reen dores, I went in and tuck a seat on one of the cushioned benches what they call boxes. Ther was a good many peeple in the theatre and ever so many wimmin, all dressed out as fine as they could be, and sum of 'em lookin monstrous handsum. Bimeby one of the fiddlers down in the place they call the orkestry, tuck up his fiddle-stick, and rapped on his desk, at which evry musicianer grabbed his in- strument. Then the man with the fiddle-stick, aftei 112 MAJOR Jones's travels. waviii It up and down three or four times, gin his lidd- 1 a scrape or two what seemed to set the whole of V^q agwine ; and sich another hurra's nest I never did I car before. Sumtimes all of 'em stopped but one or wo ; then they all struck up agin as hard as they could np it. Sumtimes the musick was low and soft as the voit e of a sick kitten, and then it w^as loud and terrible, as if all the lions, bulls, jackasses, and hiennys in creashun had got together, and w^as tryin to see which could make the biggest racket. They seemed to have evry thing in the world that would make a noise, from a base drum to a jewsharp ; and evry feller tried to do his best. One old feller had a grate big fiddle of about one hun- dred boss power, and the way he did rear and pitch and pull and jerk at it, was really distressin. The old feller seemed to have the highstericks for fear he couldn't make as much noise as the rest of 'em, and he rolled his eyes and twisted his mouth about enuff to frighten all the ladys out of ther senses. Bimeby they all blowed out, and at the ring of the bell up went the curtain. Then the opery commenced, but for the soul of me I couldn't hardly make out bed nor tail to it, though I listened at 'em with all my ears, eyes, mouth, and nose. The fust thing was a grand singin match by a whole heap of Bohemian sogers and wimmin, 'bout nobody could tell what. Then thar was a big fat feller named Thadeus, what the bill sed was a Polish exile, what had run away from his country, cum on and sung a song 'bout his troubles, but he put so many dimmy-simmy quivers in it that nobody couldn't understand what hurt him. 'Bout this time ther w^as a gang of Murrelite lookin peeple, what they called Gipseys, made ther ap- pearance. The bed man among them was a old feller named Devil's-hoofT, what had the whitest teeth I ever seed in a wdiite man's bed. This old cus sot to robbiii thi fat Pomander the fust thing, but his wife, w^ho seemed to wear the trowsers, wouldn't let him; and after a little MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. 113 s:ngin the Gipseys agreed to take the fat exile into thei gang, and hide him from his pursuers. Then the Gip- seys went to whar the Governor of Bohemia and his peeple was, and while they was all singin and carryin on, sumbody cum in and told them that a wild hog or sum other varmint was 'bout to eat up the Governor's baby. Then ther was a rumpus — his excellency and all his sogers run about the stage and looked at one another as much as to say, " Grate Heavens ! what's to be done ;" til the fat Polander tuck up a gun what was leanin agin the house, and run out and shot the varmint, whatever it was, and brung in the baby safe and sound to its mammy. Then they had another singin match. The Governor was very much obleeged to the fat man for savin his baby, and sung to him if he w^ouldn't take sumthing to drink. Mr. Thadeus 'lowed he didn't care if he did, and the licker was sot out ; but the Governor didn't have no better sense than to propose sum political sentiment what didn't set well on the stummick of the fat Polander, who throwd down his glass and spilled the licker all over the floor. Then ther was a terrible rumpus agin. The Governor made his sogers grab the man what spilled the licker — with that, old Devil's-hooff fell to singin and rearin and shinin, tryin to git his frend out of the hands of the sogers^— but they sung as loud as he did, and tuck him, too, and put him in jail with Mr. Thadeus. But while the Governor and his frends was singin about it, old Devil's-hooff got out of the jail and stole the baby what the fat Polander had saved, and run off with it. They saw him with the baby in his arms, but th^ sogers was afraid to shoot at him lor fear of killin it; and when the old rascal got across the bridge he took out his jack-knife or sumthing else and cut it down, so they co''ldn't foller him. Then all fell to singin agin as hard as they could, like a barn-yard full of chickens when a hawk has jest carried off one of ther little ones. When they was about out of breth they let the curtain down for -em to rest. 114 MAJOR Jones's travels. Well, thinks I, if that's what you call a opery, Vd & monstrous sight rather see a genuine old Georgia corn Khuckin frollick, what ther's sum sense in. Rite close beside me w^as a feller with three or four alls, w^hat kep all the time lookin round the house at the peeple, wath a kind of double-barreled spy-glass, and gabblein and chatterin like a parsel of geese. They was all dressed within a inch of ther lives, and the chap had a red and blue morocco cap on, what sot rite tite down to his hed like a ball-cover. He had a monstrous small hed, and when he had the spy-glasses up to his eyes he looked jest like a double-barreled percussion pistol, and I had half a mind jest to tap him on the hed with my cane to see if he wouldn't go off. " Now, ladies," ses he, " we've got to wait til that baby grows to be a woman before we see any more of the opery." " Dear me," ses one of the galls, " I hope they won't keep us waitin so long 'tween the acts as they always do ; for I'm so much delighted with the opery." " And me, too," ses another one. " It's so refreshin to hear sich delightful melody ; I shall be very im- patient." " It's exceedingly foin," ses the feller with the per- cussion cap, lookin roi^nd the theatre wuth his spy glasses. " I nevaw heard Segwin in better tune Fwazau is pwefectly delightful. But I must beg the ladies to be patient." Thinks I, I'll be monstrous apt to be in old Georgia agin before that baby grows to be a gall ; but I can set up as long as any of you, and, as iive paid my money, I'm 'termined to see it out. But I hadn't begun to git sleepy before up went the curtain agin, and the racket commenced. Shore enuft' thai was the baby grow'd to be a grate big gall, and Mr. Thadeus, as fat as e\'er, was thar singin love to lier. They've both been w^ith the gipseys ever sense, and j»hc's fell in love with the fat Polander, The queen ol MAJOn JOXES'S TRAVELS. 115 the gipseys agrees to the match, and the raggymuffins ha : a grand frollick and dance on the occasion. 'Bout this time a Miss Nancy sort of a feller, what's sum relation to the Governor, comes projectin about among the gipseys, falls in love with the Bohemian gall, and wants her to have him. The gipsey queen, who seems to have sum spite agin the pore gall, steals a medal from the booby lover, and puts it on her neck ; when the feller, findin he can't git her to have nothin to say to him, has her tuck up for stealin, and carried before the governor. The governor, who^s haa the blues like the mischief ever sense he lost his baby, is 'bout gwine to punish her, when he finds out by some mark that she is his own daughter. Then he sings to her a heap, and she sings to him, and he takes her home to his palace, and wants her to marry his booby relation. But she's got better sense ; besides, she's hard and fast in love with Mr. Thadeus, and won't have nobody else Hei father won't consent for her to marry a wandtrm gip- sey, and thar's the mischief to pay, with singin enufffor a dozen camp-meetins, all mixed up so nobody can't tell hed nor tail to it. 'Bout this time, Mr. Thadeus shows the governor his last tailor's bill, or sumthing else, that proves to his excellency that he was a gentle- man once, and he gives his consent to the match. Mr. Thadeus and the Bohemian gall is monstrous happy, and old Devil's-hooff and the governor and all of 'em is takin another sing, when the queen of the gipseys puts up one of her vagabones to shoot Mrs. Thadeus that is to be ; but the feller bein a monstrous bad shot misses her and kills the queen, which puts a stop to her singin, though the rest of 'em sing away til the curtain draps. And that's the eend of the opery of the Bohemian Gall. I hain't got the squeelin and howlin and screechin of them 'bominable gipseys out of my hed yet, and I blieve if I was to live to be a hundred years old I wouldn't go to another opery, unless it was one that 116 MAJon Jones's travels. didn't have no singin in it. I like a good song as welJ as anybody, and have got jest as good a ear for musick as tho next man, but I hain't got no notion of hearin twenty or thirty men and wimmin all singin together, in a perfect harrycane of noisy discord, so a body can't tell whether they're singin " Hail Columbia" or " Old Hundred. " Ther is sich a thing as overdoin any thing; and if you want to spile the best thing in the world, that's the surest way to do it. Well, for peeple what ain't good for much else but music, like the French, Germans, and Italians, a opery full of solos and duetts and quartetts and choruses, as they call 'em, would do very well, if they would only talk a little now and then, so a body could know what they was singin about. But to sing evry thing, so that a character can't say, "Come to supper, your excellency !" wdthout bawdin out — " Co-ho-ho-me to-oo-oo sup-up-up-e-e-er, your-r-r ex-cel-len-cy," with about five hundred dimmy-simmy quivers, so nobody can't tell whether he was called to supper, or whether he was told that his daddy was ded, is all nonsense. Let 'em sing whar ther is any senti- ment — any thing to sing about — but wdien ther is only a word or two that is necessary to the understandin of what comes after or goes before ; and whar ther ain't words enuff to make a stave of musick, what's the use of disguisin 'em so that ther ain't neither sense nor mu- sick in 'em. A body what never seed a opery before w^ould swar they was evry one either drunk or crazy as loons, if they was to see 'em in one of ther grand lung-tearin, ear- bustin blowouts. Fust one begins singin and makin all sorts of motions at another, then the other one sets in and tries to drown the noise of the fust, then tw^o or three more takes sides w^ith the fust one, and then sum more jines in with number tw^o, til bimeby the whole crowd gits at it, each one tryin to out-squall the other, and to make more motions than the rest. That sets the fiddlers a-goin harder and harder — the singers straiten MAJOR Jones's travels. 117 out thcr necks and open ther mouths like so many car- pet-bags — the fiddlers scrape away as if they was gwine to saw their fiddles in two, wakin up the ghosts of all the cats that ever w^as made into fiddle-strings, and makin the aw^fulest faces, as if it was ther own entrels they was sawdn on — the clarineters and trumpeters swell and blow^ like bellowses, til their eyes stick out of ther heds like brass buttons on a lether trunk, and the drummer nocks aw^ay as if his salvation depended on nockin in the hed of his drum. By this time the roarin tempest of wind and sound surges and sweeps through the house like a equinoctial harrycane, risin higher and higher and gittin louder and stronger, til it almost blows the roof oflf the bildin, and you feel like dodgin the fallin rafters. For my part I shall have to go to singin-school a long time, and larn the keys from the pianissimo of the musketer's trumpet, up to the crashin fortissimo of a clap of thunder, before I shall have any taste for a grand opery. I've always had a great curiosity to see how the free niggers git along in the Northern States. So after breckfust this mornin, I ax'd the man what keeps the books at the hotel whar w^as the best place to see 'em ; for I'd heard gentlemen what had been in Filladelfy say that ther was whole squares in this city whar nobody but niggers lived. The book-keeper told me if I w^anted to see free niggers in all ther glory, I must go down Sixth street til I come to 'em. Well, I started, and sure enuff, I hadn't gone many squares before I begun to smell 'em, and never will I forgit the sight I saw down in Small street, and sum other streets in that neighborhood. Gracious know^s, if anybody wants to git ther simpathies excited for the pore nigger, all they have got to do is to go to this part of Filladelfy. I've been on the big rice plantashuns in Georgia, and I've seed large gangs of niggers that had the meanest kind of masters, but I never seed any pore creaters in sich a state of retchedness in all my life. I 118 MAJOR JOI^ES'S TRAVELS. • couldn't help but feel sorry for 'em, and if I was able, I'd been willin to paid the passage of the whole gene- ration of 'em to Georgia, whar they could git good masters that would make the young ones work, and would take care of the old ones. Thar they was, covered with rags and dirt, livin in houses and cellars, without hardly any furniture ; and sum of 'em without dores or winders. Pore, miserable, sickly-lookin creaters! it was enuffto make a abolition- ist's hart ake to see 'em crawlin out of the damp straw of the cellars, to sun themselves on the cellar-dores til they got able to start out to beg or steal sumthing to eat, while them that was able was cussin and fightin about what little they had. You couldn't hardly tell the men from the wimmin for ther rags ; and many of 'em was diseased and bloated up like frogs, and lay sprawlin about like so many cooters in a mud-hole, with ther red eyes peepin out of ther dark rooms and cellars like lizards in a pile of rotten logs. This, thinks I, is nigger freedom ; this is the condi- tion to which the filanthropists of the North wants to bring the happy black peeple of the South ! Well, one of two things is certain : — either the abolitionists is a grand set of hippocritical scoundrels, or they are totally Ignorant of the condition of the slaves what they want to git away from ther masters. Materially considered, the niggers of Georgia is as much better off than the niggers of Pensylvany, as the pore peeple of America is better off than the pore peeple of Ireland ; and, morally considered, the advantage is equally as great in favor of the slaves of the South over the pore free nig- gers of the North. For whar social equallity cannot possibly exist, the black peeple are miserable jest in the degree that they approach to equality in wealth and edication with the whites, and are enabled to under- stand their degraded position. What's the use to talk about equallity when no such thing exists. Ther is as much prejudice agin coler here as any whar else. A 119 Dody sees that in ther churches, and theatres, and courts, and evrywhar else. Nobody here that has any respect for themselves, treats a nigger as ther equal, ex- cept a few fannyticks, and they only do it to give the lie to ther own feelins, and to insult the feelins of others. At the South, the relation between the two races is un- derstood by both parties, and a white man ain't at all jealous of the pretensions of his servants ; but here, ther is a constant jealous enmity existin betw^een the whites w^hose occupations brings 'em in contact with 'em, and the niggers, who is all the time aspirin to a social equallity, w^hat they never can attain til ther wool growls strait and ther skins fade white. The races is, naturally, social antagonists, and it is only in the rela- tion of master and servant that they can exist peace- ably together. Then, unless the abolitionists can put 'em back into Africa w^har they come from, in a better condition than they was when they found 'em, or unless they is w^illin to take ther turn bein servants, they better let 'em alone. For my part, I've got as much feelin for the niggers as anybody can have ; but sense they are here among us, and I've got to live with 'em, I prefer bein master myself and treatin 'em well, to lettin them be masters and takin the chances of ther treatin me well. But one thing is monstrous certain, if my niggers wasn't better off and happyer on my plantation than these Northern free niggers is, I wouldn't own 'em a single day longer. My niggers has got plenty of hog and hommony to eat, and plenty of good comfortable clothes to wear, and no debts to pay, wdth no more work than w^hat is good for ther helth ; and if that ain't better than freedom, with rags, dirt, starvation, doctor's bills, la\\^ suits, and the five thousand other glorious privileges and responsibilities of free nigger citizenship, without the hope of ever turnin white and becomin eq'-al with ther superiors, then I ain't no filossofer. After lookin into sum streets that I wouldn't risk my 120 MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. life in gwine through, and seein scenes of destitution and misery enuff" to make one's very hart sick, I went back to my hotel. T spent the rest of the day lookin about over the city with Mr. More, who wanted me to go to the opery with him agin. But I coukln't stand that, and after tea I paid my bill and got all reddy to leave for New York to-morrow mornin, bright and early. In a few hours more I will be in the great Gotham. No more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. MAJOR Jones's travels. 121 LETTER XIII. New York, June 2, 1845. To Mr. Thompson -.—Dear Sir— I arriv in this city, all safe and sound, yesterday afternoon about three o'clock, but to tell you the truth, if I had cum up minus my coat-tail, or even a leg or arm, aft^r sich a everlastm racket as I have been in ever sense I left Fi ladelfy, 1 wouldn't been much surprised. As for co lectm my senses and gitin my mind composed so as to know my- self or any thing else certain, I don't never expect to do it, as long as I'm in this great whnlpool of livm ^Tiittle circumstance happened to me last night before I had been here only a few hours, that sot me back a little the worst. I never was so oudaciously tuck in in all my born days, and if you had heard me cus about it, you'd thought I was turned a real Hottentot sure enuff. But to begin whar I left off in my last letter. The porter at the United States Hotel waked me up early in the mornin, and I got to the steamboat jest m time. It was a butiful bright mornin and the stoi-e- keepers was openin ther stores, while the servant galls was scrubbin the dore-steps of the houses and washin off the pavements in front of 'em. I looked at em as I rode along in the hack, and I couldn't help fee in sorry to see such butiful, rosy-cheeked white galls, down in the dirt and slop in the streets, doin work that is only fit for niggers. They say here that they aint nothing but slewers-but I seed sum that I would tuck for re spectable white galls if I had seed 'em in Georgia. Slewers or whatever they is, they is my own color, and a few dollars would make 'em as good as ther mistresses. 122 MAJOR Jones's travels. m the estimarion of them that turns up ther noses at 'ei^ now. The Delaware is a noble river, and Filladelfy is 6 city worthy to stand on its banks. From the deck of the steamboat we had a splendid panaramic view of it, as we passed block after block, the streets runnin up from the water's edge, strait as a bee line, and affordin us glimpses of the fine houses and elegant public bildins that makes Filladelfy one of the handsumest cities in the world. But, long as it is, we was soon past it, and in a few minits its numerous steeples and towers and masts faded away in the distance, and we turned our eyes on the butiful country on both sides of the river. Butiful farm houses and bright-lookin little towns was most all the time in site, till we got to the place what they call Bristol, whar we tuck the cars to New York. The railroad runs along on the bank of a canal part of the way, crosses the river on a splendid bridge, and passes through Trenton, Princeton, Newark, and a heap of other towns in New Jersey, til it gits to Jersey City, what stands on the Hudson river, opposite to the cit^ of New York. Well, when we got to Jersey City, we all got out and scrambled through the crowd as well as we could to the boat what was thar to take us across the river to New York. When we got up to the gate what encloses the wharf we could see the hackmen and porters peepin at us through the palins, like so many wild varmints in a big cage, ready and eager to devour us and our bag- gage too. I tuck my cane tight in my hand and kep a sharp eye on 'em, determined to defend myself to the' last. As soon as the gates was open we rushed for the boat and they rushed at us. Sich another hellabaloo I never did see before, and I expected every minit to see sumbody git spilled overboard into the river. I found it wasn't no use to try to keep 'em off with- out nockin sum of 'em in the hed, and then I would only be like the fox m the spellin book, ready to be MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. 123 worried to deth hy a fresh gang. So \xhen they cum round me with "Have a hack, sir?" — ''I'm public poorter^ sir." — "•' Shall I take your baggage up, sir?" — '' Will you give me }'Our checks, sir ?" — " Take you ap for two shillins, sir, to any part of the city," — all of 'em hundin ther cards to me at once — I jest backed up agin the side of the boat and tuck evry card they handed to me, without sayin a word, and when they ax'd me for my checks I was deaf and dum, and cou?.in't un- derstand a word they sed. That sot 'em to pushin and crowdin one another, and hollerin in my ear, and makin signs to me, til they found they couldn't make nothing out of me, and then they started after sum new victim. Among the passengers ther was a old sun-burnt lookin feller, with green spectacles on, what put me in mind of a Georgia steam doctor, and w^ho seemed to think he know^'d more than anybody else 'bout evrything. He was gabbin and talkin to evrybody all the way on the steamboat, and in the cars, and tryin his best to git up a argyment 'bout religion with sumbody. One w^ould supposed he owned half the baggage aboard, to hear him talk about it, and when we got on the ferry boat he was the bissyest man in the crowd, rearin and pitchin among the hackmen and porters like a blind dog in a meat house, and tryin to git into the crowd what was gathered all round the baggage like flies round a fat gourd. Bimc-by a honest lookin Irishman cum up to me, arid ses he, handin his card, " Shall I take your bag- gage, sir ?" Ther was sumthing like honest independ- ence in the feller's fiice, and I gin him my checks, and in he went for my trunks. In a minit he cum out safe and sound with one of 'em. " Stand by it, sir," ses he, " til I git the other." I tuck my stand, and it was jest as much as I could do to keep the devils from carryin it off with me on top of it. Ther was sich a everlastin rumpus I couldn't hear myself think. The clerks was callin out the numbers — evrybody was runnin about and ookin after ther baggage, children was cryin, wimmiu 124 MAJOR JONES S TRAVELS. was callin for ther husbands to look out for ther band- boxes — hackmen and porters was hollerin and shoutin at the people and at one another — whips was stickin in your eyes evry way you turned — and trunks, and carpet bags and boxes was tumblin and rollin in every direction, rakin your shins and mashin your toes in spile of all you could do. In the middle of the fuss thar was old Pepperpod, with his old cotton umbereller in his hand, elbowin his way into the crowd and whoopin and hollerin over evrybody else til he disappeared in the middle of 'em. In about a minit here he cum agin, cusin and cavortin enuff to sink the boat, with a pair of old saddle bags in one hand, sum pieces of whalebone and part of the handle of his umbrelier in the other, his hat gone, and his coat-tail split clear up to the collar. He was mad as a hornit, and swore he would prosecute the com- pany for five thousand dollars damages for salt and bat- tery and manslaughter in the second degree. He cut a terrible figer, but evrybody was too bissy to laugh at him. I thought to myself that his perseverance was porely rewarded that time. I sot thar and waited til nearly everybody was gone from the boat, and til my Irishman had picked up all the other customers he could git, before he come and tuck my trunk and told me to foller him to his hack. After cumin in a ace of gettin run over three or four times, I got to the hack, what was standin in the middle of 'bout five hundred more hacks and drays, all mixed up with the bowsprits and yards of ships that was stickin out over the edge of the wharves and pokin ther eends ahnost into the wi.nders of the stores. The hackman ax'd me what hotel I wanted to go to. I told him to take me whar the southern travel stopped. " That's the American," ses he, and after waitin til the way opened so \ye could git out, we druv to the American Hotel on Broadway, rite opposite to the Pnrk. It was 'bout three o'clock when I got to the Hotel, and after brushin and scrubbin a Utile of the dust otT, MAJOR Jones's travels. 125 and gittin my dinner, I tuck a turn out into the great Broadway, what I've heaid so much about, ever sense I was big enuff to read the newspapers, to see if it was wliat it's cracked up to be. Well, when I got to the door of the Hotel I thought ther must be a funeral or something else gwine by, and I waited some time, thinkin they would all git past ; but they only seemed to git thicker and faster and more of 'em the longer I waited, til bimeby I begun to discover that they was gwine both ways, and that it was no procession at all, but jest one everlastin stream of peeple passin up and down the street, cumin from all parts of creation, and gwine Lord only knows whar. I mix'd in with 'em, but I tell you what, I found it monstrous rough traveUin. The fact is a chicken-coop mought as well expect to float down the Savannah river m a freshet and not git nocked to pieces by the drift- wood, as for a person what aint used to it to expect to git along in Broadway without gettin jostled from one side to tother at every step, and pushed into the street a'jout three times a minit. A body must watch the c irrents and eddies, and foller'em and keep up with 'em, il they don't want to git run over by die crowd or nocked oT'thc sidewalk, to be ground into mince-meat by the t/erlastin ominybusses. In the fust place, I undertuck t») go up Broadway on the left hand side of the pave- luent, but I mought jest as well tried to paddle a canoe up the falls of Tallula. In spite of all the dodgin I could do, sumbody was all the time bumpin up agin me, so that with the bumps I got from the men and givin back for the wummin, I found I was loosin ground instead of gwine ahed. Then I kep " to the right as the law directs," but here I like to got run over by the crowd of men and wdmmin and children and niggers, what was all gwine as fast as if ther houses was afire, or they was runnin for the doctor. And if I happened to stop to look at any thing, the fust thing I knowed 1 was januned out among the ominybusses, what was 126 MAjon joxEs's travels. dashin and whirlin along over the stones like one eternal train of railroad cars, makin a noise like heaven and yeath was cumin together. Then ther was the carriages and hacks and market wagons and milk carts, rippin and tearin along in every direction — the drivers hollerin and poppin ther whips — the peeple talkin to one another as if ther lungs was made out of sole leather — soldiers march in with bands of music, beatin ther drums, and blowin and slidin ther tromboons and trumpets with all ther might — all together makin noise enuff to drive the very old Nick himself out of his senses. It was more than I could stand — my dander begun to git up, and I rushed out into the fust street I cum to, to try to git out of the racket before it sot me crazy sure enuff, when what should I meet but a dratted grate big nigger with a bell in his hand, ringin it rite in my face as hard as he could, and hollerin sumthing loud enuff to split the hed of a lamp post. That was too much, and I made a lick at the feller with my cane that would lowered his key if it had hit him, at the same time that I grabbed him by the collar, and ax'd him what in the name of thunder he meant by sich imperence. The feller drapped his bell and shut his catfish mouth, and rollin up the whites of his eyes, 'thout sayin a word, he broke away from me as hard as he could tear, and I hastened on to find some place less like bedlam than Broadway. By this time it was most dark, and after walkin down one street til I cum to a grate big gardin with trees in it, whar it was so still that noises begun to sound natural to me agin, I sot down on the railins and rested myself awhile, and then sot out for my hotel. I walked and v;alked for some time, but somehow or other I couldn't find the way. I inquired for the American Hotel two or three times and got the direction, but the streets twisted about so that it was out of the question for me to foller 'cm when they told me, and I begun to think I'd have to take up my lodgins somewhar else for that night, I was so tired. Binieby I cum to a street thai MAJOR Jones's travels. 127 was very still and quiet, what they called Chambers street, avd while I was standin on the corner, thinkin which way I should go, 'long cum a pore woman with a bundle under her arm, creepin along as if she wasn't hardly able to walk. When she seed me she cum up to me and put her hankerchef to her eyes, and ses she : " Mister, I'm a pore woman, and my husban's so sick e ain't able to do any work, and me and my pore little children is almost starvin for bred. Won't you be good enuflf to give me two shillins?" I looked at her a bit, and thought of the way the match-boy served me in Baltimore, and ses I — " Hain't you got no relations nor neighbors that can help you ?" " Oh no, sir ; I'm too pore to have relations or neigh- bors. I was better off once, and then I had plenty of frends." That's the way of the world, think's I ; we always have frends til we need 'em. '' Oh, sir, if you only know'd how hard I have to work, you'd pity me — I know you would." " What do you do for a livin ?" ses I ; for she looked too delicate to do much. "I do fine washin and ironin," ses she; " but I'm sick so much that I can't make enuff to support us ;" and then she coffed a real graveyard coff. " Why don't you git sum of Schenck's Pulmonic Syrup ?" ses I. "0, sir," ses she, "I'm too pore to buy medicin, when my pore little children is dyin for bred." That touched me — to think sich a delicate young cre- tur as her should have to struggle so hard, and I tuck ut my purse and gin her a dollar. " Thar," ses I, " that will help you a little." " Oh, bless you, sir ; you're so kind. Now I'll buy binn medicin for my pore husband. Will you be good eiiulT to hold this bundle fo me til I step back to that 8 128 MAJOR Jones's travels. drug-store on the corner? It's so heavy — Pll be back in a minit," ses she. I felt so sorry for the pore woman that I couldn't re- fuse her sich a little favor, so I tuck her bundle to hold it for her. She sed she was 'fraid the fine dresses mought git rumpled, and then her customers wouldn't pay her; so I tuck 'em in my arms very careful, and she went to the store after the medicin. Ther was a good many peeple passin by, and I walked up from the corner a little ways, so they shouldn't see me standin thar with the bundle in my arms. I begun to think it was time for the woman to cum back, and the bundle was beginnin to git pretty heavy, when I thought I felt sumthing movin in it. 1 stopped rite still, and held my breth to hear if it w^as any thing, when it begun to squirm about more and more, and I heard a noise jest like a tom-cat in the bundle. I never was so supprised in my life, and I cum in a ace of lettin it drap rite on the pavement. Thinks I, in the name of creation what is it? I walked down to the lamp-post to see what it w^as, and Mr. Thompson, would you believe me, it was a live baby ! I was so cum- pletely tuck aback that I staggered up agin the lamp- post, and held on to it, while it kicked and squalled like a young panter, and the sweat jest poured out of me in a stream. What upon yeath to do I didn't know. Thar I was in a strange city, whar nobody didn't know me, out in the street with a little young baby in my arms. I never was so mad at a female woman before in all my life, and I never felt so much like a dratted fool as I did that minit. I started for the drug-store with the baby squallin like rath, and the more I tried to hush it the louder it squalled. The man whatkep the store sed he hadn't seed no such woman, and I musn't bring no babys in thar. By this time a everlastin crowd of peeple — men and wimmin — was gathered round, so I couldn't go no whar, "Says she to Major Jones, ' I 'm a poor woman, my husbau's sick ; won't yoTi hold this bundle for me till I go into the drug store for some medicine ?' I did so, got tired of waiting, and walked down to the lamp-post to see what it was. ' It was a live baby,' and the sweat poured out of me, I tell you, in a stream."— Le«erxiii. p. 128. MAJOR Jones's travels. 129 all gabblln and talkin so I couldn't hardly hear the baby squall. I told 'era how it was, and told 'em I was a stranger in New York, and ax'd 'em what I should do with the baby. But ther was no gettin any sense out of 'em, and none of 'em wouldn't touch it no more'n if it had been so much pisen. " That won't do," ses one feller. — " You can't cum that game over this crowd." " No, indeed," ses another little runty-lookin feller — " we've got enuff to do to take care of our own babys in these diggins." " Take your baby home to its ma," ses another, " and support it like a onest man." I tried to git a chance to explain the bisness to 'em, but drat the word could I git in edgeways. " Take 'em both to the Tooms," ses one, " and make 'em giv a account of themselves." With that two or three of 'em cum towards me, and I grabbed my cane in one hand, while I held on to the bundle with the other. " Gentlemen," ses I — the baby squeelin all the timi like forty cats in a bag — '' Gentlemen, I'm not gwin** to be used in no sich way — I'll let you know that Vrr not gwine to be tuck to no Tooms. I'm a stranger in your city, and I'm not gwine to support none of youi babys. My name is Joseph Jones, of Pinevillej Georgia, and anybody what want's to know who I am, can find me at the American " " Majer Jones! Majer Jones, of Pineville!" ses a dozen of 'em at the same time. " Majer Jones," ses a clever-lookin young man, what pushed his way into the crowd when he heard my name. *' Majer, don't be disturbed in the least," ses he, '' I'll soon have this matter fixed." With that he spoke to a man w^ith a lether ribbon on bis hat, who tmk the baby, bundle and all, and carried 130 MAJOR Jones's travels. it off to the place what they've got made in New York a purpose to keep sich pore Uttle orfans in. By this time my frend, Mr. Jacob Littlehigh, who is a Georgian, hvin in New York, had interduced himself to me and 'bout twenty other gentlemen, and I begun to find myself 'bout as much of a object of attraction after the baby was gone, as I was before. I never seed one of 'em before in my life, but they all sed they had red my book, and they didn't know nobody else. So much for bein a author. They was all monstrous glad to see me, and wanted to know how Mary and the baby was at home ; and 'fore they let me off", they made me go down to Bardotte & Shelly's Caffe Tortoni, and eat one of the biggest kind of oyster suppers, and drink sum sherry coblers what would develop the intellect of a barber's block, and ex- pand the heart of a Florida live-oak. They was the cleverest set of fellers I ever seed out of Georgia, and after spendin a pleasant hour with 'em, laughin over the incidents of the evenin, they showed me home to my hotel, whar I soon went to bed to dream of bundles full of babys and oceans of sherry coblers. You must excuse this long letter, under the circum- stances. No more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. P. S.— Don't for the world let Mary know anything about the baby, for she'd want to know what upon yeath I was runnin about the street at night for, holdin bundles for pore wimmin, and I never could explain it to her satisfaction. Ther's one thing monstrous certain — I'll go a hundred yards round the next woman I meet an the street with a bundle in her arms. MAJOR Jones's travels. 131 LETTER XIV. New York, June 15, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sir — To tell you the plain .ruth, Mr. Thompson, Fm a altered man sense I cum to New York, at least so far as appearance goes, though I blieve my hart is in the same place it used to be. It was sum time before I could giv in to my frend. Little- high's argyments, but as I'm always willin to accommo- date myself to the wishes of m)' trends, when it can be done without sacrificin my principles, I consented to have sum new clothes made in the latest fashion. Ac- cordinly the other day he tuck me down to Mr. Lowns- berry, in Pine street, and gave the directions to have a fust rate broadcloth suit made for me, jest like his own. Well, in two days afterwards, here cums a bran new suit to my hotel — coat, vest, and trousers. The boot- maker in Fulton street had sent me a pair of new French boots, as he called 'em, and I got a hat from Leary, the great Broadway hat man. I shucked out of my old clothes and got into my new ones, and sich a alteration I don't reckon you ever seed afore. It's a positive fact, I don't blieve Wise or Smart, my coon- dogs to home, would be able to know me without smellin at me for a while. I don't hardly know my- self; and if it hadn't been for my voice which sounded as familiar as a dinner-horn, I would a-had my dowts. Mary -wouldn't seed the least resemblance to her hus- band in me, and I blieve if I had made my appearance in Pineville, my neighbors would been for puttin me in jail for a impostor. My cote ain't so very outlandish, but my trouses and 132 MAJOR Jones's travels. jacket is the oddest lookin things in the world. The trouses is " all buttoned down before," like daddy Grimes's old blue cote, and makes me so shamed when I look at 'em that I don't know what to do with myself; and my jacket cums almost down to my knees, and is cut out swaller-tailed in frunt, like General Washington's regimental jacket, what I seed in Wash- ington city. They're all made fust rate though, and fit like they had growd on me. They begin to feel a little better now than when I fust put 'em on, but it will be sum time before I git used to 'em, and before I can pass anybody in the street without feelin like I wanted to turn round to hide my trouses. You know I told you I had no very grate opinion of operys. Well, that's a fact ; but the other evenin when I cum to dinner at my hotel, the clerk handed me a note from Mr. Littlehigh, statin that himself and two or three of his frends would be very glad of Major Jones' company in a private box at the Olympic that evenin, to see the opery of " The Daughter of the Regiment." It wouldn't be perlite to refuse sich a invitation, and I staid home to meet Mr. Littlehigh, accordin to his appintment. " Well, 'bout six o'clock Mr. Littlehigh called for me, and we went to the Olympic. The house was packed like a barrel of pork, whar ther ain't room enufT left to git another foot or jowl, nor so much as a ear into the barrel, all except my frend's private box, what was pretty close to the stage, and what had nobody in it but three or four gentlemen who belonged to our party. The curtain ris with a everlastin singin and fiddlin, like it did in Filladelfy. Bimeby the daughter of the regiment cum out, and then I thought they would tear the theatre down with ther everlastin rumpus. " That's our JMary, Majer," ses Mr. Littlehigh, " and now if you want to hear a bird of Paradise, jest buckle back yer ears.'* MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. 133 She was a monstroiis fine-lookin gall, and the way she could sing was perfectly 'mazin ; and then she handled a musket and marched about the stage like a regular sargeant of infantry. How the mischief she ever cum by so many fathers, I couldn't well make out, for the singin, which, as 1 told you before, spiles evry thing in a opery. But it was very plain to be seen that if the regiment was her daddys, evry feller in the house was in love with her ; and I couldn't help but think that the feller with the ribbons on his hat, what kep follerin her about and singin to her how he loved her, loud enuff to be heard all over the house, stood a monstrous pore chance among so many. Whenever she cum on the stage, the peeple all over the house would rap and clap and holler like they was half out of ther senses ; and whenever she sung a song by her- self, they was certain to make her sing it over agin. I liked the Daughter of the Regiment myself rather better than I did the Bohemian Gall, but I'd like 'em both a good deal better if ther wasn't so much singin in 'em. . ^ * ********* After the opery was over we went down to the Bat- tery, and after walkin about in the moonlit walks til we got tiled, we sot down on the benches and smoked oui segars, while the waves splashed and roared agin the rocks, and the wind played with the tops of the trees behind us. After talkin over matters and things awhile, we started for home. As we was gwine along up Broadway we saw a smoke comin out of a roof of a house down m one of the cross streets, and turned down to see what it was. When we got opposite to it, we saw a redish sort of a light in the winders on the roof, and the smoke pourin out of evry crack. Mr. Littlehigh run across and rapped at the dore, and in a minit a old man stuck hif hed out of the lower winder. " Your house is a fire," ses Mr. Littlehigh. 134 MAJOR Jones's travels. The old man grunted out sumthing, but didn't take in his old red night-cap or make any movement like he cared whether his house was atire or Jiot. " Fire," ses my frend, loud as he could holler, pintin up to the top of the house. The old man grunted out sumthing in Dutch, and stood as still as a post, starin at us on the other side of the street. Then Mr. Muggins run across and went close up to ihe old codger, and hollered to him — " I say, old hoss, your house is on fire — up in the garret." It was 'bout twelve o'clock, and the street was still as a grave-yard. ?>Ir. Muggins made a good deal of noise, and the old man pulled in his hed and cum back in a minit with a old shot-gun in his hand, and begun to cus in Dutch as hard as he could. Mr. Muggins backed out a little ways, and begun lookin for a brick- bat. Mr. Littlehigh seein that the light was gittin brighter in the winder, stept on the steps and tried the dore. By this time two or three more of the winders was raised, and two or three more red night-caps was stickin out, lookin at us without sayin a word, except the old feller below, who was tlourishin his shot-gun and makin a terrible racket. Just Oien sum winders was raised on tother side of the street. " That house is on fire," ses Mr. Muggins. " Wake 'em up next dore," ses sumbody from tother side. ^' They can't understand English in that house." With that we rapped at the next dore, and told the man that cum out what was the matter. The feller sprung into the street and looked up for a second, and then run to the old chap that was cussin with the gun In his hand, and sed sumthing to him. Down drapped ;he gun, and out of the winder cum the old Dutchman, with nothing on but his shirt and night-cap. As soon ns he seed the smoke and light, he sot up a yell that waked the whole neighborhood, and in half a mi nil MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. 135 they was cumin out of evry winder in the house I'ke eat-squirrels from a corn- crib — climbin down the water- spout, and jumpin out of the winders, men, wimmin, and children — all of 'em half naked and hollerin and yellin like five thousand wild-cats. By this time the alarm was spread — the peeple cum pourin out of the houses in evry direction, and sich a scene I never seed before in all my life. All we could hear in English was " fire ! fire !" and in a few minits here cum the firemen with their ingines, rattlin over the stones, and shoutin and yellin like half the city was in flames. The dores and winders was open, and old trunks and furniture and beds was flyin in evry direction. And after all what do you think it was? Why nothing but a smoke raised by the family what lived in the garret, to drive out the musketers. Ther w^as sum ten or a dozen families livin in the house, and all of 'em was frightened almost to deth, and turned out of ther beds into the street, jest because the family in the roof had gone to sleep leavin a pile of old rags afire to drive oflf the musketers. The firemen went home cussin the Dutchmen, but we staid awhile with the crowed what was growin bigge.' and bigger, to see the fun — and I would gin almost any thing if I could jest understood Dutch, so I might know what the pore peeple was sayin to one another when they was gettherin up and disputin about ther plunder. The old chap what had the gun was cum- pletely out of his senses. He didn't git the idee that his house was afire for sum time, but when he did git it into his hed, ther was no sich thing as persuadin him out of it. He never tuck time to put on his clothes, but jest grabbed hold of his daughter, a butiful gall, and hollered fire ! fire ! as loud as he could. The pore gall tried her best to pacify him, but the more she cried and talked to him, the more he tuck on. Our party got scattered in the crowd, and when we was satisfied that tranquillity was restored in Holland. 136 MAJOR Jones's travels. Ml. Littlehigh and myself went home, leavin the old Dutchman hollerin fire, and his wife and daughter trym to git him in the house. It's beginnin to get pretty warm here now, and ther's a good many Southerners here, and among 'em is sum of my Georgia frends. Tother day, as I was gwine along Broadway, who should I meet but Col. BilJ Skimer, of Pineville. You know Col. Bill's one of the cleverest fellers in the world ; and as he was 'boul the first old acquaintance I had seed for sum time, ] was monstrous glad to meet him. We stopped on the corner of Park place and Broadway, and shuck hands, and was chattin 'bout home, w^hen the fust thing we know'd ther was a crowd of 'bout five hundred peeple gethered round us. " Look here, Majer," ses he, " I can't stand this. ] don't think ther's any danger of ther swallerin me alive, but I don't like to be gaped at like I was a wild animal." So off he started for his hotel, makin a wake among the crowd like a seventy-four in a mill-pond. The fact is. Col. Bill is considered a full-growm Georgian at home, but among us he don't look more'n half so big as he does here, whar the average size of the men is much less than it is in our genial soil, whar men's bodys ?^ well as ther harts git to be as large as thei Maker ^xer intended 'em to be. The Colonel ain't so .sensitive as sum peeple about sich things, and takes a good joke as well as the next man ; but when he found they had been puttin him in the Herald, callin him the Georgia giant, and makin him out a heap bigger than he is, he didn't like it a bit. My old frend, John Hooper, is here, too, from Sa- vannah, and I don't know how many of the Pelegs from Augusta. Col. Shoestring, from the wiregrass settlement, is shinin here in his own -peculiar way. The Colonel is one of the oddest specimens of human natur I ever seed in my life, and takes jest as much pnde in a ragged cote, a dirty shirt- collar, and a long MAJOR Jones's travels. 137 oeard, as the greatest dandy does in his finery. His notions of notoriety, however, doesn't suit this me- ridean at all. In a small town whar it would be pos< sible for him to be known by most of the inhabitants, perhaps he mought becum distinguished in his line ; but here, whar ther is abundance of all kinds of loafers, and whar a person who is a man at home is nothing but a individual^ it is no use to try to git notoriety for sich peculiarities as he indulges in. The Colonel cusses the omminy6?^5es, and turns up his nose at the dandies and free niggers from mornin til night, and drinks sassy- parilly sody water, and smokes the worst segars he can find. He uses about the Bow^ery, and goes to Chatham street theatre. He can't bear Niblo's or the Park, and ses that Broadway is worse than a menagery of wild varmints. I haven't sed any thing to you about the New York ladies, and, as I told you my opinion about the Balti- more galls, I ought to say sumthing of the ladys of this city. Well, so far as dressin is concerned, they beat Bahimore and Filladelfy all holler. But in pint of buty they ain't to compare to the wimmin of the other cities. The fact is, I find the further North I go the more fine clothes and the less handsum faces I see. It would take enuff money to buy a plantation to dress one of these Broadway bells as they call 'em, and after all a man of taste couldn't see much in 'em to fall in love with. They're generally taller than our Southern galls, and with the help of the milliners they is pretty good forms, when they is walkin along before you. But, Mr. Thompson, all ain't flesh and blood that walks, any more'n all ain't gold that shines in Peter Funk's winder; and when you cum to ketch up with 'em an 1 see ther faces, whatever notions of buty you mought had before is soon gone. And even if you do now and then cum across a handsum face ther's sumthing wrong about 'em, that I can't exactly understand. Sumhow ther ain't enuff difference between the expression of the 138 MAJOR Jones's travels. countenances of the wimmin and the men. The pretti- est blue eyes you meet has a kind of a hard, cast-stee expression, so different from the soft, meUin looks Ox our modest, blue-eyed Georgia galls. Sumtimes you may see a pair of dark, bright eyes, but ther ain't no depth in 'em. Ther's the same difference between the eyes of the Noithern wimmin and the eyes of our galls at home, that ther is between a lookin-glass and a deep pool of pure, crystal water. You can look into 'em both, and both reflects your own face : but the glass is all cold, shallow surface, while you see down deep into the foun- tain and understand the source from whar its pure wa- ters flow. The Northern ladys' eyes seems like they was only made to look with, while our Southern galls, you know, can speak so eloquently with their's. No doubt livin in sich a grate city, whar they is all the time ex- posed to the gaze of strangers, has sum effect on the ladys to make 'em less bashful and shrinkin than our Southern galls is, and perhaps ther is other causes of education and habits to make 'em less feminine in the style of ther buty. But certain it is ther is the greatest difference in the w^orld between them and the wimmin of the South, and in my opinion the advantage is all on the side of our Southern galls. Mr. Hooper and me is gwine to take a trip to Yankee- doodledum in a few days, to see Boston and Lowell I want to see the great Yankee city, and the factory galls what I've heard so much about. I will tell you all about the trip in m} next. So no more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. MAJOR JOSES'S TRAVELS. 139 LETTER XV. New York, June 25, 845. To Mr. Thompson -.-Dear Sir-U my last Utter I told you I was gwine to Yankeedoodledum. Well, rve been to Bolton and Lowell, and seed the hve Ylw^ees, Bunkerhill monument and the factry galls and a heap of other natural curiosities that more'n paid me ^° HoopS who you know is a Odd Feller as well as a very clever one, ^vanted to go to the great celebration wha tn t^ke tilace in a few days m Boston, and as 1 Ifnted to see that part of the world before I wentlwme, Te greed to go ogether, and last Monday evemn we ucklass ge fn the steamboat Narryganset for Boston We hadn't%een gone long from the wharves when the fustthb" I know'd the ingine was stopped, the boat comm need slewin round, and the Peeple ™nmn m evry ,?'"". Rimphv the ino-ine g ve another lick or two ''"■fthenstopped a. n Think! I ther's something out Tf lint iZkfn lUe biler wasgwine to host or the bote was broke, I ax'd a old gentleman what was the mat- ter '" '■' We is rite at Hell-gate," ses he. "The devil we is!-^as close as that!"sed a man ^'SrgShmks'i: aTdtfooked out, and shore enuff ..f :Kas whirlin -"^ -d -"d^^ .rd ruinnn^up = iTe^/botfaJnlmethinrand evry wo- nrsjled, and the men stood on ther tip- oes. Ihmk I if we is to go to the bottom, I'd a S""' leal rathe kke Itwim in some other place. Everybody said don t 140 MAJOR Jones's tPwAvels. be alarmed- -and one man sed it didn't make much dif ference to him, for he started to go to Boston, any how. Bimeby the bell rung, the old ingine sot up a errible puffin and snortin, and in a few minits we was ,eavin the gate of the infernal regions far behind us. We passed Frog's Neck — whar they're bildin a young Giberalter to keep the British from coming down to New York when Mr. Polk drives 'em out of Oregon — before sundown, and by dark we was in what they call the Sound. After smokin a segar we went to our berths, whar we was soon sound asleep. It was 'bout daylight next mornin when we got to Stunnington, in Conneticut, whar they say the peeple live on fish so much that they smell like whale oil and have scales on their backs. This may be a bug what they put on me, but one thing I do know — and that is that they is great whalers, for they whaled the British out of ther harbor in the last war, a monstrous sight quicker than they cum in. It was a bominable dark foggy mornin, and I couldn't see much of Stunnington, but what I did see made me think it wasn't badly named — for it is rocks from one eend to tother, and it was long after we was out of sight of the town fore we could see any thing but rock-fences and rock-chimneys, and whole corn-fields of rocks from the size of a goose-egg up to that of a gin-house. We got a mere squint at Provi- dence, in Rodeisland, when we was crossin the river in the steambote, and in about a ower more we was in sight of Boston, which looked at a distance like it was bilt on stilts in the middle of a everlastin big frog- pond. When we got to the depo, the white hackmen cum rearin and pitchin at us like evry one of 'em had a capias ad satisfaction, as the lawyers say, for us, and to keep from gittm tramped into the yeath by 'em, we jumped into the fust hack what had the dore open, and told the man to drive us to the Purl street Hotel. Well, bein as t wasn't near dinner-time, we tuck a walk round to see MAJOR Jones's travels. 141 the city, bit we soon found out that wouldn't do. If a man could walk like Mr. Robert Acres wanted to fite his duel, edgeways, he mought possibly manage to git through a square or two of Boston 'thout gittin nocked off the side-walk more'n a dozen times. But for a man of my size to git along in sich little crooked alleys as them Boston streets is, is out of the question. Col. Bill Skimer would be like Mr. Gulliver was in the city of the Lillypushins — the corporation would be bound to accommodate him in the common to keep him from blockin up the streets intirely. Why, they aint much wider than the space between the rows of a pea-patch, and then they are so twistified that it's as much as a common sized body can do to keep both feet in the same street at the same time. And then what makes it worse, is the way the Boston peeple walks. They all go dashin along like they was gwine to die, and hadn't but a few hours left to settle ther bisness. As for givin the walk to a lady, or half of it to a gentleman, they don't think of no sich a thing, and if you don't want to have your breth nocked out of you evry few steps, you mought as well take the middle of the street at once, whar, if you don't keep a monstrous sharp lookout, you is certain to be run over by ther everlastin grate, long, sheep-shear lookin carts. Hooper and me tried to keep together on the side-walk. But it wasn't no use. After bumpin along for 'bout half a square, I found myself in the street and my frend halfway into a store dore, whar he was nocked by a feller what was stavin ahead with a armfuU of wooden clocks. We made our way the best way we could in the direc- tion of the Monument, what stands over in Charlestown. The Native Americans had a celebration on the hill, and one of ther orators was makin a speech to a heap of peeple what was crowdin all round the stand, jest like our peeple in Georgia at a Fourth of July Barbycue. As none of ther speeches couldn't make us no better Americans than we is, we left the orator and iiis flights 142 MAJOR Jones's travels. of eloquence for the flight of steps what tuck as, aftei puffin and blowin enuiT to work a two-hos-power steam ingine, up to the top of the great Yankee Monument, what has been raised on this Sinai of American Free- dom. If ther is a man in the nation what don't like the Union and don't feel willin to shed his blood to preserve ., he ought to make a pilgrimage to this consecrated pot. If, standin on this majestic pile and looking down pa the ground that received the fust red baptism oi Liberty, while he breathes the air that received the expirin breth of so many martyred heroes, and looks upon the sky that witnessed ther heroic valor, he does not feel his bosom glow with patriotic emotion, and imbibe a love of country above all sectional prejudices or interests, then he may be sure he was born on the rong side of the Atlantic. From the top of the monument, which is about three hundred feet high, we could see half over Massachusetts. Among other things that w^as pinted out to us in the guide book, was another monument, of which the Bos- ton peeple needn't be so very proud. The ruins of the Ursuline Convent is still standin in sight, to reproach the intolerant spirit of a peeple who have violated the laws and disregarded the principles which ther fathers died to establish in this country. After cumin down from the monument, we tuck a walk through the navy-yard and the rope-walk, whar they was makin rope's long enuff and strong enufT to pull the Stone Mountain, in De Kalb county, up by the root, and then went back to our hotel. On the way back, I tuck the opportunity, when we was ridin in the hack, and nobody couldn't run over us, to notice the stores and houses. Exceptin the narrow, crooked streets, Boston looks a good deal like the other Northern cities, though to my taste it aint to compare in no respect to either Baltimore, Filladelfy or New York. In sum parts of the city the streets is wide enuff and very clean, and the houses is very fine, but th«*)r'«» a MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. 143 aristocratic air about it, a sort of starchy Suncl^-go-to- meetin kind of a look about this part of the city, that I don't Uke a bit better than I do the pinched up, narrow 2ontrived appearance of the rest. I noticed one thing about the signs in Boston, wnich accounts for the curious way they pronounce ther words, rher letters is all littler in the middle than they is ac the eends— as for instance, a letter /looks like a lady that was dyin of tite lacin. Now, you know the Yankees ses kyew for cow, and gives a sort of loud-at-both-eends- and-low-in-the-middle sound to all ther words. V\ ell, it's my opinion that it is the shape of the letters on ther signs that makes 'em do it, or maybe the letters is made by the painters to suit the pronunciation oi the peeple. In Filladelfy the most of the signs is painted in grate biff block letters, and in New York, in all sorts and kinds. Well, the Filladelfy peeple talk very square and plain, and in New York ther aint no peculiarity about their pronunciation— no body can't tell a New Yorker by his accent. So y«u see what the influence of association is. • u + After dinner we was gwine to smoke our cigars, but jest as I was biten off the eend of mine, I happened to look up and see a notice what sed, " No smokin 'lowed here." , . i .1 • " Well," ses Hooper, " I spose they consider this room aft the machinery— less go forard." We went into another room, but the fust thing we seed thar was, in grate big letters, " No smokm 'lowed here." With that we went to the door, thinkm we mought smoke on the steps, but thar was the everlastm " No smokin 'lowed here," stickin up on both sides of the door. r 1 u r 1 I looked at Hooper and laughed, but he didn t teel like laughin. ' ,, " Wliat kind of a place is this ; I'd like to know, ses he. " I wonder if they allow peeple to sneeze when they take cold .^" 9 144 MAJOR Jones's travels. I proposed to git sum matches and go to the common. " Agreed," ses Hooper ; " any whar whar we can breathe 'thout violatin the rules." I ax'd the man in the office, what had been lookin at my cigar all the time, like it was a rattle-snake, for a oiatch. " I guess you'll find sum in the smokin-room," ses he. " Smokin-room," ses I, ^' whar's that?" " This way, sir," ses he, and he opened a door of a little dirty room that smelled strong enuff of tobacker smoke to nock a man down. Thar was no body in it but a old codger, in a snuff-colored coat, what was smokin one of the worst kind of American segars, and readin " all sorts of paragraphs" in the Boston post. The floor was covered with ashes and old stumps of segars, the walls looked like the inside of a Georgia smoke-house, and the air was strong enuff of smoke to turn a man into well cured bacon in 'bout fifteen minits. " Majer," ses Hooper, " I can't stand this place — I've had jest as much of Boston as I want. Less go to Lowell this afternoon. Maybe we can smoke a cigar thar, and if you want to see any more of Boston, we can stop when we cum back." I was jest about as sick of the city of everlastin anty's as he was, and in less than no time we was on the rail- road to Lowell. This is one of the finest roads in the world, leadin through a country that seems like one continual village. The land is poor and covered with rocks, but it's studded all over with butiful country-residences, with churches and mills and factories of one kind and another, til you git to Lowell, which is the handsumest small town I waj- ever in. We tuck rooms at the Merrymack House, one of the best hotels, and, before tea, tuck a walk over the place. It was a pleasant afternoon, and as we w^alked along on the bank of the canal what carries the water MAJOK JOXES'S TRAVELS. 145 from the river to the factories, we couldn't help but notice the clean and healthy appearance of the town. The clear cool water went sweepin along, deep and strong, in its rock-banks, over which the green grass and flowers hung to dip themselves in the stream, while a roarin sound, that cum from the direction of the great clocks of five-story factories, reminded us that it was no idle stream, runnin to waste its usefulness on the desert shore, but that it gave its powder to aid the in- dustry of man, and to contribute to the wealth of the nation. We tuck a stroll on the banks of the Merrymack, be- low the town. From different pints we got a fine view of the place, and found plenty to interest us til tea-time. We was passin up Merrymack street to our hotel when the bells rung, and the fust thing we know'd the whole town was full of galls. They cum swarm in out of the factories like bees out of a hive, and spreadin in every direction, filled the streets so that nothin else was to be seen but platoons of sun-bonnets, with long capes hangin down over the shoulders of the factory galls. Thou- sands upon thousands of 'em was passin along the streets, all lookin as happy, and cheerful, and neat, and clean, and butiful, as if they was boardin-school misses jest from ther books. It was indeed a interestin sight, and a gratifyin one to a person who has always thought that the opparatives as they call 'em in the Northern factories, was the most miserable kind of peeple in the world. It was a butiful moonlight night, and after tea we walked out into the street agin. The stores was all lit up and the galls was walkin about in pairs, and half dozens, and dozens, shoppin from store to store, and laughin and talkin about ther purchases, as if it didn't hurt 'em to spend ther earnins no more'n other peeple. Under ther curious lookin cracker-bonnets thar was sum lovely faces and eyes, that looked better by moonlight than any I have seed sense 1 left Georgia ; and poor 146 MAJOR Jones's travels. Hooper, who you Know is a bachellor, bein exposed to sich a constant display of silf-like forms, rosy cheeks, bright eyes, and silver-toned voices, begun to feel mon- trous weak about the heart long before the ower cum for the galls to retire to ther boardin houses ; and I was monstrous fraid he would need settin up with the balance of the night, his simptoms was so alarmin. By ten o'clock not a cracker-bonnet was to be seen in the streets, though the moonlight was as bright as da,y, and the stars twinkled and danced in the Heavens above, and a cool breeze played through the branches of the trees and rippled the surface of the canal, while the waters, escapin from ther confinement in many a mill- race, sent up a dreamy murmur, that blended harmo- niously with the scene, and made it one of the loveliest evenins imaginable. It was a scene and a ower to in- spire love — when the world is turned into a Paradice and wimmin into angels — and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the six thousand little nimphs of the spindles, who had no lovers thar to court 'em on sich a night. It was late before we went to bed. As I'm to the eend of my sheet, I'll stop here, and tell you about my adventures in Lowell, the factories and the factory galls, in my next. So no more at present from Your frend til deth, Jos. JoiVES. MAJOR Jones's travels. 147 LETTER XVI. New York, Jjne 2G, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sir — I could slep souiid as a rock in a shuck-pen, after bavin been nockin about all day, and bavin my mind constantly on tbe stretcb to take in tbe wonders I seed in Yankeedoodle- dum. But in sicb a airy room, and sicb a soft, cool, clean Ised as tbey gin me at tbe Merrymack House, I could bave gone to sleep witb tbe tootb-acbe, and never waked up til Cbristmas, if it badn't been for Hooper, wbo was termined to see tbe galls gwine to work in tbe mornin. I was dreamin about bein in Mabomet's Heaven among tbe Houries. Tber was more'n ten' thousand of 'em, all as butiful as Haydees and Venuses, witb cracker-bonnets on, dancin and caperin about under tbe shadowy arches of tbe trees, from which bung long festoons of bright flowers, while fountains of crystal water w^as gusbin up in evry direction, and music floated in tbe air that was perfumed witb the breth of roses. Bimeby one of 'em, witb butiful eyes and long golden ringlets, what bung down below the cape of her bonnet, cum dancin ap to me with a hank of cotton yarn in her band — «^Cum witb me — will you cum witb me, my dear?" ses she, smilin so sweet and wavin her hand at me. " No, I thank you," ses I, blusbin to think she would ax me sicb a question. " Say not so, dear," ses she, cumin closer to me. " Say not so, dear — you must be mine ;" and with that she begun to undo her bank of cotton. I soon seed what she was up to, and so I started to quit tbe place, but the fust thing 1 knowd she had the 148 MAJOR Jones's travels. yarn round my neck, and the next minit 'bout five hunared of 'em was pullin at me, all singin " Cum with me, my dear," like a pasel of sailors a payin away on a hosser. I pulled and hollered as hard as I could — I told 'em I was a married man — but they never let on they heard me, and jest pulled the harder, each one say in I 'longed to her. " Let me go !" ses I, grabbin hold of a tree to hold on by, and kickin at 'em with both feet at a time ; *Met me loose, you everlastin witches, you. I's got a wife and child to home and can't marry none of you — I tell you I's a married man !" Jest then the hank of cotton broke, and away I went, and the galls set up one of the loudest squalls I ever heard. "What upon yeath's the matter with you, Majer?" ses Hooper, who was laffin like he had the high- stericks. " Why I never seed a body cut sich anticks before in all my life. I jest tuck hold of you and shuck you a little to wake you up, so we mought take a walk before breckfust, and you begun to kick and rare like a wild zebra, cussin and swearin about being a married man, like that had any thing to do with gettin up early in the mornin. "And was it you that had a hold of my neck," ses I, beginnin to see how it was. " I jest shuck you a little," ses he. "Well, if I didn't think " ses I. " What was you dreamin, Majer?" ses he. But I know'd it wouldn't do to tell Hooper w^hat I was dreamin, if I ever wanted to hear the eend of it. So I jest got up and put on my clothes as quick as possible, and w^ent with Hooper to see the galls gwine to work. The sun was jest up when we went down on to the corporashuns, as they call 'em here, whar the mills is. It was a most lovely mornin. The factorys was all still. The yaris in frunt of the bildins was clean, and CILBFRTScCIHOK " I soon seed what she was np to, and so I started to go ; but the fust thing I know'd she had the yarn round my neck, and the next minit 'bout five hun- dred of 'em was puUin' at me, all singin' ' Cum with me, my dear.' ''—Letter xxi.j?. 148. MAJOR Jones's travels. 149 the little flower-gardens by the dores was glitterin w^th due as the fust bees of the mornin cum to suck the honey from the blossums. Ther wasn't many peeple to be seed in the streets. Now and then we could see sum men gwine to the countin-rooms and offices or to the factorvs, but the cracker-bonnets was m eclipse. The ealls was at breckfust at ther boardm-houses, which are neat two, and sumtimes three-story brick houses, what stand in blocks near the factorys, and is owned by the proprietors of the mills. Bimeby the bells rung. In a minit more the streets leadin to the mills was swarmin with galls. Here they cum in evry direction, laughin and talkin to one another in groops and by pairs, or singly, all lookin as merry and happy as if they was gwine to a frolhc, msied of to WhnLin look well by moolight, and so they do by early sunlight. The refreshin influence of sleep gives a brightness and animation to the featurs of a healthy youni gall, who has been fatigued by the labors of the dav and the mornin ablooshuns, as Mr. Willis calls washin one's face, like the due on the roses, gives freshness to ther cheeks and brilliancy to ther eyes. You may depend thar was sum bright mornin faces in that crowd. I thought of my dream, and I 'termined to take warnin by it. I felt if I was a bachellor it wouldn't be safe to go within the length of a skein ot cotton yarn of sum of 'em, and it wouldn t take a very strong or a very hard twisted thread to hold me in the They poured into the mills by thousands, like bees into a hive, and in a few minits more the noise of the machinery begun to git louder f ^ .1?^^?^' ^"\^ "'fij factory sent out a buzzing sound, with which all other sounds soon becum mixed up, until it seemed we was into a city whar men, wimmin and children, water, hre, and light, was all at work, and whar the very ai breathed the song of industry. 150 MAJOR Jones's travels. After breckfust we went to one of the mills, whaf we got a little boy to show us the way. The little feller tuck us from one room to another all over the mill, and sich other contraptions I never seed before. The machinery made sich a noise that we couldn't hear ourselves think, let alone sayin any thing to one another, and then we was so cumpletely dumfounded by what we seed, that we couldn't found a word to say even if we could heard one another talk. Thar was the galls tendin the looms and the spindles, mixed all up among the cranks and wheels, and drum-beds and crossbands, and iron fixins, that was all agwine like lightnin, and ther little white hands flyin about like they was a part of the machinery. Bissy as they was, though, they found time now and then to steal a sly glance at us, and then I could see a mischievous smile playin round sum of ther pretty mouths, as much as to say, what green fellers we was that never seed a cotton-mill before. I tried to git the hang of sum of the machinery, but it wasn't no use. Evrything I seed, from the ceilin to the floor, was whirlin, and whizzin, and rattlin, and dashin, as if it would tear evry thing to pieces ; but what they was doin or what sot 'em agwine, was more'n I could make out. Buzz-z-z-z, went the spindles and the spools ; clank- clank, went the looms, and the white cloth was rollin off in big bolts, but how it was done, was what I couldn't see into. After gwine through three or four of the mills, which was all pretty much alike, we went into one whar they print calicos. This part of the bisness ain't the nicest work in the world, though it's very interestin. We went into the dryin-room as they call it, but we didn't stay thar but a very short time. If the other country is much hotter than this dryin-room, it is not much misrepresented in the accounts we have of it. When I stepped in I felt the hot air, as I breathed it MAJOR JONES S TRAVELS. 151 mto my lungs, like boilin water, and my hair crisped up like I was in a bake-oven. Hooper, who, you know, takes a good deal of pains with his whiskers, dassent risk 'em in the dryin-room more'n a minit ; and when we got out I felt jest like Pd cum out of a steam-bath. The next place we went to was the whip manu- factory, whar we seed a cover braided onto a whip- stalk, by machinery, in about two minits. From thar we went to another place, whar they made cotton and woollen cards. That machine banged any thing I ever seed in all my life. I've always thought that a ma- chine that could make any thing as well as it could be made with hands was pretty considerable of a machine. But to see a little iron contraption take a piece of lether and a coil of wire, and cut off the wire and bend it double, punch the holes in the lether, put the wire in the holes, push 'em in and bend 'em, and fasten 'em thar quicker and better than five men could do it, went a little ahed of any thing I ever heard or dreamed of. The man that invented that machine could invent one to eat shad without swallerin the bones, or one that could pick a man's pocket when he was wide awake, without gettin found out. The only wonder is, that he didn't invent sum way to fool Old Deth himself, and live for ever. But- the poor man is ded, and, like all men of genius, died very poor. The next place we went into was a machine car- penter's shop, whar the rough boards cum into one dore in a cart and went out at the other in panel-dores, winder-sashes, pine boxes, &c. Saws and plainers and chissels and awgers was sawin, plainin, chisselin and borin in evry direction by machinery, with men t tend 'em ; and for one that wasn't acquainted with the bearins of the place, it was necessary to keep a prett) sharp look-out to prevent havin a shavin tuck off of him sumwhar, or to keep from bein dove-tailed, or 152 MAJOR Jones's travels. bavin a awger-hole put rite ilirough him fore he know'd what hurt him. It was most dinner-time, and we didn't stay thar long. At the Merryraack House we had one of the finest dinners I ever eat in my life. But the dish what tuck my fancy most, was a fine biled Merrymack salmon. What a pity salmons don't grow on pine trees — then we could have 'em in Georgia ; but as that can't be, I would advise you, if ever you cum this way in pea-time, to stop at the Merrymack House. Here they git 'em rite out of the water, and if a dish of Merrymack salmon and green peas wouldn't bring a ded man to life, then he may be buried with perfect safety. After the desert we had fruit, and among other things sum of the finest ox-hart cherries. They wer monstrous good, and if the man counted the seeds on my plate, he knows I done 'em justice. Hooper loved 'em too. We sot thar sum time eatin cherries and talkin 'bout the factory galls and the machinery. ''Ain't it a pity," sed Hooper, "that these galls is Yankees. If it wasn't for that," ses he — " Well, that's a fact," ses I. " But you oughtn't to mind that, Hooper." "Ah, Majer," ses he, "it wouldn't do. But I did see one gall thar that " " Stole your hart," ses I ; for I know'd he was very sceptible of the tender passion, and I had hard work to git him out of one room in the Boot Mills. " No, not 'zactly, Majer; but to tell you the truth, I couldn't keep my eyes of that tall, dark-complexioned gall what was tendin the starchin-machine — the one what was readin in a book. Ther was sumthing so winnin, so amiable, and yet so dignified about that gall, thai I shall never forgit her. But she's a Yankee, and maybe a ravin abolitionist." " Well, Hooper," ses I, to change the subject what MAJOR Jones's travels. 153. was beginnin to make him serious, " if I was a wood- pecker I'd cum to this country evry summer, jest to eat cherries — they're so good." " Well, if I was a woodpecker I wouldn't do no sich thing!" ses Hooper. "Why not?" ses I. " Why, because these everlastin Yankees would be certain to invent sum cussed machine to ketch me." Ther was sumthing in that, and I had no more to say. In the evenin we tuck a walk to look at the town. Passin by a book-store, we went in to git sumthing to read. The old gentleman what keeps the store show'd us sum numbers of the ''Lowell Offering," what he sed was made up of the writins of the factory galls. Hooper sed he'd bet that gall he seed readin in the mills was one of the writers, and he told the man to let him have all the numbers. Hearin us say we would like to see sum of the writers, Mr. Davis, who is a monstrous clever, obligin man, sed he would be very happy to interduce us to sum of 'em. We tuck him at his word, and in a few minits more he show'd us into a neat little parlor, whar we was soon made acquainted with Miss Harriet F , the editor of the Offering, and her mother. Miss F promised Mr. Davis to take good care of us, and to see that none of the Lowell galls stole our harts, and he went back to his store. We spent a ower in very agreeable chat with Miss F , who is a true specimen of a New England gall. She has worked in the mills for several years, but now devotes herself to the magazine what she edits, supportin her mother by her own industry. After awhile she proposed to interduce us to sum more of the literary factory galls, and takin my arm, she carried us through several of the mills, and interduced us to the galls who was aJ ther work. 164 MAJOR Jones's travels. As we was passin the great machine carpet factory, she ax'd us if we had seed 'em weavin carpets on the power-looms. We told her no — that we went thar in the day, but they wouldn't let us in, " Oh!" sed she, " they didn't know you was South- erners, or they wouldn't been 'fraid of your stealin ther patent." I didn't know zactly whether she meant that as a com- pliment or not. We went to the office, and ses Miss F : " Mr. Peters, here's a couple of Southern frends of inine, what wants to see the carpet-looms." "Well, but. Miss F ," ses he, ''you know its entirely agin the rules for anybody to be admitted to see the machinefy." "Yes; but," ses she, "I don't care for the rules — these gentlemen are all the way from Georgia, and they must see the looms." "But — " ses the old man. "I don't care," ses she ; " Fll be answerable for all the damage." " Well," ses Mr. Peters, " you can go into that room, (pintinto a dore,) and when you're in the packin- room, I guess you can find the way into the looms without my leitin you in.'^^ That was sufficient, and in we went. I ax'd Miss F if that man wasn't a Yankee inventor. " 0, no," ses she ; "he's only a ordinary genius in these parts." The carpet-looms is a grate specimen of American ingenuity, bein the only power-looms for weavin car- petin in the world ; but my bed was so full of wonders that I had seen durin the day, that I hadn't no loom for the carpet-looms. Besides, they is such thunderin grate big, smashin iron things, and go at such a ter- rible rate, that I expected evry minit to git my branes nocked out by 'em. MAJOR Jones's travels. 155 After takin a look at 'em for a few minits, we went out, and visited sum more of the literati. Miss F interduced me to Miss Lucy L , the author of " The Wasted Flowers^'''' one of the prettyest liule alle gorys in the English language ; and which Judge Charlton, of Georgia, and several other popular poets, has tried ther hands on without bein able to improve it a bit. Miss L was in the packin-room of one of the mills, as clerk, checkin off the goods as they were bein put up into bales. She had worked in the mills several years. I never met with a more interestin young lady, though I spose she wouldn't thank me for callin her a lady^ as she gin me her auto- graf in a very different spirit. It reads — " Major Jones : " Sir — I have the honor to be, yours, very re- spectfully, a bona-Jide factory girl, Lucy L ." We found the place still more attractive as our acquaintance extended, and I begun to fear that Hooper would never be willin to quit Lowell. We tuck tea that evenin with Miss F , and afterwards called on several of our new acqaintances, who, with a party of ther frends, tuck a w^alk wdth us on the banks of the Merrymack. Hooper's symptoms was gettin worse and worse every hour, and I was 'fraid to risk him another moonlight night with the factory galls, for fear he mought meet the fate as a man what he would be 'fraid of as a woodpecker. So we bid 'em all good-by, when we parted with 'em for our hotel. We was off early in the mornin for Boston, whar we spent a few hours til the cars started for New York. I won't stop to tell you 'bout our trip — what a race we had with another steambote, and how we like to got blowd to Ballyhack gwine round Pint Judy, and liow 156 MAJOR Jones's travels. one man lost his bran-new hat overboard, and th captain wouldn't stop for it. Sufficient that we arriv safe in this city, though I ain't rite certain that Hooper didn't leave his hart in the Boot Mills. No more from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. P. S. We're gwine to take a trip to Niagary FalL and the Lakes next week. 157 LETTER XVII. New York, July 15, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — I told you in my last thi.t we w-as gwine to Niagary. Well, the Monday after I rit you my last letter, Hooper and me tuck passage on board the steambote Nickerbocker for Albany, up the Hudson river, what you've heard so much about. It was a butiful afternoon, and ther was peeple enuff aboard to make a fust rate campmeetin — men, wimmin and chil- dren, of all ages, sorts and sizes, and a merryer crowd couldn't be well raked together. We wasn't long gittin away from New York, and in a few minits our floatin castle was movin through a fleet of vessels of all kinds, gwine and cumin to the city, in one of the largest and handsumest rivers in the world. Some of the passen- gers had books, and maps, and spy-glasses in ther hands, and was all the time pintin out the interestin places. I had no time to read about 'em, and while they was porin over ther books and maps, and axin which is this, and that, and whar's so and so, I jest tuck my fill by lookin at every thing that was to be seed. We had a fust rate view of the Pallisades, as they call 'em, what goes jest a leetle ahead of any pile of rock I ever seed before, extendin for twenty miles on the left bank, and risin in sum places more'n five hun- dred feet rite perpendickiler out of the water. Now and then ther is a fisherman's house standin on the water's edge, lookin 'bout as big as a bee-gum agin the everlastin stone wall behind it. After passin the Pallisades, we cum into the Tappan Sea, whar the river is more'n four miles wide and looks as quiet as a duck-pond. Sing Sing prison, what stands 158 MAJOR Jones's travels. on the right at the hed of the Tappan Sea, was made to keep the rascals in New York, what they haint got room for on Blackwell's Island, but one man sed he didn't blieve ther was stone enuff in the Pallisades to bild a house big enuff to hold all that ought to be thar. In a few minits more we was passin Stony Pint, whar eld Mad Antony Wayne waked up the British sogers with the pints of his bayonets, one mornin before breck- fust, in 1779, and then we was among the highlands. The sun was most down, and the mountains — sum of 'em more'n one thousand six hundred feet high — stood out in bold relief agin the brown evenin sky, throwin their dark shadows far over the river, that crooked and twisted about in evry direction, as if it had got lost in tryin to find its way through 'em. It seemed as if old Miss Nature had jest tried her hand at makin hills and hollers, wastin yeath enuff in her fancy work to make two or three states like the State of Delaware ; and I couldn't help but think what capers old Boreas must cut in the winter time, when he undertakes to have a strait blow among these everlastin crags and caverns, and precipises. One would think it would take a right smart harrycane to git through 'em without gettin scattered into forty thousand directions. Such monstrous mountings I never seed before. They may talk about pilin Ossa on Pelion, but if a body wanted to astonish the world with a mounting, all they would have to do would be to put Crow's Nest on Butter Hill, or Bull Head on Bare Mount, and if that wouldn't lay all the other hills in the shade, then they m ought take my hat. The passengers was all terribly delighted with the scene, and them that had books and maps couldn't git time to see any thing for answerin the questions of them what didn't have none. Thar was one man from New York, with a crowd of ladys, that know'd all about every place we passed, and, to hear him talk, a body would s'posed he had been born and raised all along tho MAJOR Jones's travels. 159 shore like the Indian was. The ladys kep him mon strous busy, you may depend. *' Whar's Antony's Ncse, Mr. Johnson ?" says one of 'em. <* Oh yes," ses another, *' I want to see old Antony s Nose. They say it's one of the greatest curiosities n the world— it's so perfectly natural." '' Antony's Nose ?" ses Mr. Johnson, puttm his spy- glass up to his eye. ^' Let me see. Ah, thar it is. You can jest see the tip eend of it round that projection." " Whar ! whar .^" ses a dozen of 'em at once. " Do tell us." ^ . "In a minit, ladies, we'll have a good view, ihere now, do you see ? Thar it is, rite ahead. That's Anto- ny's Nose." Well, I looked, and so did everybody else, but it looked as much like a fodder stack as a man's nose to me. " I can't see no nose," ses a old chap what had his hed tied up with a red hankerchicf to keep from ketchin cold. " Which eend is the nose on ?" ses one of the la- "* Oh I see it— I see it," ses a long-legged dandy in check trowses. " I see it jest as plain as the nose on a man's face." " Whar is it..?" ses a dozen that was stretchin ther eyes out of ther heds,but couldn't make it out no better than I could. , " Why," ses Mr. Johnson, " rite thar, a little on the right of the wheel-house. Now, can't you see it. Miss Abbigal, jest beyond that big rock in the edge of tlip water thar.? I can almost see the nostrils." " To be sure," ses the dandy ; " if it was a little later we could hear it snore." " I can't see no sign of a nose," ses a man what was oglin the mountain with all his might, whh a one-eveo spectacle tied to a black ribbon. 10 160 MAJOR Jones's travels. " Nor me nother," sed all of 'em. " Well, it's monstrous strange," ses .Mr. Johnson—* ** it's so plain. I can't see nothin else." " Aint you mistaken, Mr. Johnson ?'" ses one of the ladys. " Lord, no," ses he ; " I know it so well — I've been on it as often as I've got fingers and toes." 'Bout this time the captain of the boat passed along. The passengers stopped him and ax'd him whar was Antony's Nose ? ^' 'Bout five miles ahead," ses he ; ^'you will see it shortly after we pass the next landin." Mr. Johnson was tuck with a sudden desire to prome- nade with one of the ladys, and we didn't see his nose no more on the top deck that night. Bimeby we cum to Antony's Nose, sure enuff, but it had been blowed so that nobody couldn't tell whether it was a Roman nose or a pug — not by the old gentleman himself, but by some oudacious stone quarryers, who had to go and blast it all to pieces, as if ther wasn't enufT rock in the place without ther taking such a liberty with old Antony's countenance. Some men, you know, find as much satisfaction in spilin a wonder, as others does in findin 'em. It was so dark when we got to West Pint — the place whar Uncle Sam teaches the young ideas how to shoot the enemies of our country — that we didn't see but monstrous little of it. The boat stopped at the landin a few minits, and we had time too look round on the hills that seemed to rise to the skies, fencin us in on every side, cuttin off the river above and below us, so it looked as if we was in a little lake among the hills, in- 3ted of bein on a river two hundred miles long. We had a monstrous good supper, but I lost my share of the strawberries and cream jest 'cause I happened to call one of the nigger waiters " boy." The kinky- headed cus looked at me sideways, and rolled the whites of his eyes at me like he was gwine to have a fit of MAJOR Jones's travels. 161 nidryfoby, and carried the berries and cream rite past me to the other eend of the table. I called some more of the waiters, but it was no use. The fust one had told the rest, and all ther dignitys was up. They kep lookin at me and whisperin to one another, and makin motions, and I could smell the musk so strong that it like to tuck my appetite from me, hungry as I was. If you should ever cum this way a travellin, you musn't call the nigger waiters, boy, nor uncle, nor buck, nor any frendly, home name ; and if your trunk happens to have Georgia on it, you'd better scratch it off, if you want any attention or civility from the waiters. They're all misters here, and the she ones is misses, and it puts the old harry in 'em to call 'em by any thing but ther Northern names. You may call pore white men and wimmin waiters, servants, slewers, or any thing you please, but you must take monstrous good care how you speak to the free niggers. After supper we tuck a smoke on the top deck. If the scenery of the Hudson is " grand, gloomy and peculiar," in the day-time, it don't lose none of its charms by moonlight. To be sure, the mountings don't look so bold, and we don't see so many prominent objects standin out separate and distinct, excitin our admiration on ther own hook as it w^ere, but ther is enuflf to be seed to help the imagination to make improvements even on nater itself. Thar's the broad buzum of the river, reflectin the silver light of the moon, with here and thar a little sloop or scooner, glidin along in silence, with its snow-white sails jest filled by the soft breeze that fans the smoke of your segar away from your nose — the curvin banks, now shootin boldly out into the strong light, disturbin the quiet current of the river, and now retirin into the deep shade, whar the water is sleepin still and dark as a nigger baby in a shuck-pen — the lofty peaks laisin ther bald beds into the sky to bathe 'em in the cold moon-beams — the ravines and gorges windin and 162 MAJOR Jones's travels. twistin about between the hills, or spreadin out into broad valleys, and reachin away for miles into the dim haze, whar the dark Catskills rises ther misty forms agin the vaulted Heavens— all conspirin to make a landscape which — which, as the novel riters ses, is more easy to imagine than describe. Bimeby our segars went out, the moon went down, de in Canady and in our country. While our sogers 196 MAJOR JONES's TRAVELS. is arnied and fed to protect the peeple, their's is put thar to subject the peeple who supports 'em. It's enufl to make a man's blood bile, to see them swarms oi grate lazy hulks sunin themselves about on the pave- ments, and Icungin round ther quarters, w^aitin like blood-hounds jest to be sot loose on the pore peeple, to tear 'em to pieces for the bone that they git from the table of ther masters. And the pore devils ain't very well kept nuther, for I seed lots of 'em without the sign of a pair of trouses to ther legs any more'n a Seminole Ingin, and with nothin but a sort of red-plad huntin shirt on, that jest cum down to ther nees. In the afternoon w^e tuck a drive round the mounting to see the guvernor's house, and at five o'clock in the evenin tuck passage in the steambote Queen for Quebeck. The scenery on the Saint Lawrence was very butiful, and we sot up til twelve o'clock to see Saint Peter's Lake. About seven o'clock the next mornin we arriv at Quebeck, and druv to Payne's Hotel in the Place de Armes. The fust place I wanted to go to was the famous Gibralter of America, the fortress of Quebeck; but Mr. Payne sed we'd have to wait til he could git a permit for us to visit the Citadel ; so we tuck a calash and went out to the Plains of Abraham, wdiar the grate battle was fit what lost France her Northern possesshuns in America. I don't remember to what Saint the gate we went out at belonged, but that doesn't matter — a Frenchman tuck us to the Plains, whar w^e had a quiet view of that place whar so much gallantry was dis- played, and so much blood spilled on the 14th of Sep- tember, 1759. It's a butiful place to fight a battle, and I can't see what ever possessed the brave Montcalm with his undisciplined troops, to give Wolf and his British regulars battle thar, when he mought have defended himself so much better in his works, even poor and weak as they was then. It was a hard piece of bisr.ess, that contest, in which France lost her Gene- MAJOR Jones's travels. 197 ral and her cause ; and though the English may try til dooms-day to make the French Canadians forgit the injustice they have suffered, by givin ther Cathohc churches all sorts of priviliges, and by bildin monu ments, like they have in the Palace Gardin' with Wolf's name on one side and Montcalm's on the other, tryin to make the honors of that day easy between 'em, — they never can make loyal, contented subjects out of 'em as long as Cape Diamond stands whar it does. While they're in the reach of British bayonets they don't make any fuss, but rebellion is stickin out of 'em all over, and the fust right good chance they git they'll give ther conquerors plenty to do to keep 'em under. If any- body wants any proof of ther bad feelins agin the British, jest let 'em look at Wolf's Monument what stands on the spot whar he fell. The w^ords " here DIED Wolf victorious," that was cut deep in the soUd marble, is pecked and battered so, rite in sight of the sentry on the w^alls of the citadel, that if it wasn't for the gide-book nobody could tell what was on it. Every countryman that crosses over the Plains with a basket of eggs for the market, gives it a pelt with a stone, til the whole side of the monument is almost nocked off. After dinner w^e got a permit to go in the citadel, but they sent a sargeant whh us, who watched us all the time like he was 'fraid we was gwine to tetch off the powder-magazine or spike ther cannons. We musn't go here, and strangers wasn't 'lowd to go thar ; and if we went to go up on sum of ther batteries, as they called 'em, voices would cum from evry loop-hole and look-out, to tell us we musn't go thar. They seemed to be dreadful 'fraid we'd find out sumthing. It's a monstrous stanchious place, and commands one of the finest views in the world. One looks down upon the noble Saint Law- rence at his feet, and over the minerets and towers of the churches, and the roofs of the old and curious-lookin stone houses of the upper town, and on the other side, 198 MAJOR Jones's travels. at the ruins of more'n a thousand houses in the Saint Rock District, beyond which the butiful Saint Charles winds its way to mingle its w^aters with the waters of the Saint Lawrence in the grate basin below, after which they flow away together til they find the sea. All together, Quebeck is a curious and interestin place. It looks like it belonged to another Continent and to another age of the world ; and when one looks upon its power and its buty, and remembers that it stands on the boundry of civilization, close to the edge of the wild, unexplored wilderness that extends northward to the regions of everlastin freeze-to-deth, he is apt to exclaim with the poet — " Time's noblest empire is the last." Sum of the officers — who we found to be monstrous clever fellers, though sum of 'em was dredful green — invited us to see a grand review on the Esplanade. It was a very considerable of a show, and convinced me that the British sogers is under fust rate discipline ; but I couldn't help but think how terribly they would git ther fethers siled in a Ingin campain in the hammocks of Florida. We spent the evenin in walkin about through the streets lookin at the public bildins and odd-lookin houses. ********* The next day was Sunday, and we went to the French Cathedral, what w^as so full that it was sum time before we could git through the crowd of men and wimmin that was settin on the steps and away out in the street, stringin beads and talkin Lattin to them- selves. Bimeby a man cum and tuck us into a fust rate seat, whar we could see and hear all that was gwine on. Ther was any number of priests dressed out in red, white, and black pettycotes, and lots of organ-musick, singin and pre.achin ; but the only word [ understood the whole time was '^ Kebeck, Kebeck," 'vhich run all through the sermon. About five o'clock we tuck passage in the Queen TRAVELS. 199 agin fG{- Montryal, whar we arriv the next mornin about breckfust time. As no bote didn't leave til evenln, we tuck another round through Montryal, and spent the time very agreeably til five in the evenin, when we started ii. the Prince Albert for La Prairy, on our way home. The steambote Prince Albert ain't no compliment to the Queen's husband ; and if his highness's popilarity in Canady is to be estimated by the quality of the bote they have named after him, one would suppose that he didn't stand very high among the loyal Canadians. It ain't much bigger than a New York ferry-bote, and its accommodations is but little better. Ther was a good many passengers, most of 'em Irish emmygrants what had cum to Canady, and was now cumin over into the States. Pore peeple, they was all huddled up together, bag and baggage, on the forecastle, and wasn't 'lowed to take the air on the deck no more'n if they'd been so many cattle. My hart aked for one pore family. The man was dyin with the ship-fever, while his wife and children and young sister, a butiful girl about sixteen, was v.'eepin over him. He lay on the deck on a coarse, dirty mattrass, his pore wife supportin him while the tears poured down her pale cheeks, and his dyin hed was rocked to its last sleep on her heavin bosom. His sister was neelin by his side and bathin his parched lips with water mingled with her tears, and the two oldest children, little girls, was clingin round him, cryin as if ther harts would brake. The youngest child, a fat little boy 'bout two years old, wnth cheeks as red as the apple he had in his hand, looked at his dyin father and then at his mother, as if he spected sumthing was the matter ; but the pore little feller was a stranger to the bitter sor- row that was agonizin the harts of that mournin group. The emmygrants made as much room round the dyin man as they could, to give him air, and sum of 'em tried to console the family. The sister tuck the cross what she wore rounc her neck, and put it to her brotner'? 200 MAJOR Jones's travels. lips — he kissed it and tried to speak, and thm closed his eyes. In a minit after I s(«3d him gaspin for bieth, and a loud scream from the wimmin told that he was ded. The peeple laid him strait in the bed, whar he re- mained til the bote arriv at La Parairy. " It was hard," sed one of the emmygrants as they was leavin the bote, " that pore Dennis should die wid- out ever puttin his fut in Amirica." "Ah!" ses another, "he's gone to a better place, rest his soul !" At La Parairy we tuck the cars for St. John's, leavin the pore wife to berry her ded husband in a strange land ; but I couldn't go til I had gin her a dollar to help her in her ower of distress. The look she gin me was more than a recompense for all the good actions I ever done in my life. The steambote Saranack tuck us through Lake Champlain, whar we seed sum of the finest scenery and interestin places, among the rest the ruins of old Fort Ticonderogy what Ethen Allen tuck from the British by sich high authority in the Revolutionary war. Durin the .day we stopped to git sum wood at a place called Burlington, in Vermont, and Hooper and me went ashore to look at the place. But w^e hadn't got more'n ten steps from the bote when we seed a thun- derin grate big sign stickin up over the rode, with " No Smokin allowd here!" " Cus the place," ses Hooper, who had a segar in his mouth, " Majer, let's shake the dust from our feet and go back to the bote ; I can't trust myself in the hands of no peeple what would stick up sich a sign as that at a steambote landin," — and back we went. After gwine aboard, the fust thing that tuck my atten- tion was a chap what was rootin round among the bag- gage after sumthing. I didn't like his looks much, so I jest Kcp my eye on him to see what the feller was after. Bimeby I seed him grab hold of my trunk. Thmks I MAJOR Jones's travels. 201 that's makin rayther too free, and ses I — '' What upon yeath is you up to, Mister, with my crunk ?*' ^' Is that your trunk ?" ses he. *' Vv ell,"" ses I, " I reckon it ain't nobody elses." *' Very well," ses he ; " I jest wanted to know what was in it, that's all." "The mischief you do!" ses I ; " I'd like to know what bisness you've got with what's in my trunk." " I spose ther ain't nothin contraband in it," ses he. " What the thunder's that?" ses I. " Why, nothin smuggled." Smugglin means stealin, down in Georgia, and when he sed that my dander was up in a mi nit. I looked at the feller w^iat was beginnin to grin all over his face, and ses I — *' Do you mean to insiniwate the likes of that to me, / you infernal, irnperent cus ?" »' Cum, cum. Mister," ses he, " it ain't no use to git into no passion. The law's the kuv, and ther ain't no use tryin to git round it." ^^ril tell you what," ses I, "I don't know nothin about your law out in these parts ; but I know one thing, and that is, if you jest insiniwate to me that I'm a thiet; or that I've got any thing what don't belong to me in my trunk, I'll histe you overboard off this bote 'fore you can have time to say yer prayers." And I was jest gettin reddy to phch into the oudacious cus, when Hooper cum up and tuck hold of me — " Shaw, Majer," ses he, "don't git riled— it's the custom " " Cus ther customs," ses I ; " I know it's a Yankee custom to meddle with evrybody's bisness but ther own. But I'll larn 'em better than to interfere with my consarns." " It's the custom-house officer, I mean," ses Hooper, " what wants to see all right with the baggage, to keep peeple from cheatin the government. It's only the tariff bisness what you whigs voted for at the last elec 202 MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. tion. It's p.-otection, Majer ; and I'm sure you're too good a whig to make a rumpus about it." By this time I begun to see into the bisness, and of course I hadn't nolhin more to say. Bat you may de- pend I was hot for a few minits ; and what made it worse, the custom-house officer, as he called himself, kep all the time laughin at me like he would bust his sides. We shuck hands, however, and made evry thing strait. He didn't open my trunk when I told him that it didn't have nothin in it but my clothes, and sum curiosities what I'd picked up in my travels ; but you may depend, whenever he cum across a Dutchman or any outlandish foreigner with a big trunk, he made 'em show" up. And, shore enuff, he cum across one feller what had a trunk full of English broadcloths and silks, what he was tryin to smuggle into the States. The officer tuck 'em all from him, and how they settled it I don't know ; but the feller was quite as much out of humour with the officer as I was. After runnin Lake Champlain out to the little eend of nothin, til ther wasn't water enuff to float a bread- tray, and we had to dodge the boat along among the hay-cocks that the peeple w^as makin in the marsh- meadow what we was gwine through, we cum to a place called White Hall, about four o'clock in the evenin. Here we tuck a canal-bote for Mechanics- ville. In the fore part of the evenin, while we was all on deck, evry thing went on pretty well, except 'bout evry live mmits we would cum to a bridge, when we would all have to drap down flat on the deck ; and bein as it was covered with men, wimmin, and children, as thick as we co^dd stand, the dodgin was rather awkward bisness, and bmng us sumtimes in rather close contact with stran^^e passengers. One old feller what w^as a little hard of hearin, and was bissy talkin politicks with his back turned the rong way, didn't hear the word "Bridge!" and the fust MAJOR Jones's travels. 203 thing he knowd, kerslosh he went heels over hed, rite into the water. It was monstrous well for him that it wasn't no deeper, or he'd never had another vote in this world — for he couldn't swim a lick, and the hoses was so pore and hard in the mouth that it tuck 'em 'bout ten minits to take in sail, so as to stop the bote. The captain got him out though, and the old chap went below for the balance of the ni'ght. * * * * * «- * * * * They packed us into hammocks, as they called 'em, to sleep — but I'd been monstrous glad to exchanged mme for the worst hammock in Florida. It was nothin more than a layer of canvass, then a passenger, then a layer of dirty sheet, then another layer of canvass, and then another layer of passenger and another sheet, and so on to the top. Ther was no sich thing as turnin over 'thout nockin yer nees into the ribs of the man above you, and when you was once packed in, ther was no gettin out til mornin. I never cum so near suffocatin in my hie, and never was so anxious to see the break of day before. The wimmin and children was all packed into one eend of the bote, with nothin but a blanket betw^een us and them; and sich other musick I never heard before — it was worse than a con- cert of cats all night. 'Bout sunrise we got to the place whar we tuck the cars for Troy. Here we tuck a steamer to Albany, and from Albany we wasn't long cumin to New York in the Knickerbocker. So here I am, and by the time you hear from me agm I will be home in old Georgia. No more at pre- s(^nt from Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. 204 MAJOR Jones's travels. LETTER XXII. Pineville, August 6, 1845. To Mr. Thompson : — Dear Sir — Once more I tal<- my pen to tell you that I arriv here safe and sound la^t Friday night. Nothin didn't happen in the jurney from New York to Pineville out of the usual course of tra- vellin incidents, and to tell the truth, after I sot my face for home, nothin of a common nater — nothin short of a terrible railrode collision or the bustin of a steambote biler could tuck my mind off from thinkin of the joys that was waitin me at home. * # * * Pore Mary couldn't hardly contain herself for joy, at seein me once more ; and old Miss Stallins had to have a fit of the highstericks, jest to show how glad she was. The galls all tuck on monstrous, and 'tween bringin the old woman to, and kissin the baby and Mary, and shakin hands with the niggers and nabors, and tellin evrybody 'bout my travels, I hain't had time to do nothin else ever sense I cum home. * * * Nothin of importance hain't tuck place on the planta- tion sense I left, only the deth of pore old Moma. She died 'bout three weeks ago, leavin her dyin blessin for me. Pore old creter, she w^as very sorry she couldn't see me before she died. Well, she's out of her troubles now, and I have the satisfaction to know that she never was treated bad, and never suffered for any thing while she lived ; and as sumthing bad always has to happen when a body's away from home, I spose I ought to be satisfied that it's no worse than it is. I'm certain that no one on the plantation was better prepared or more willin to go than good old Moma, and no one could Deen so well spared by us all. * * * * The crap looks fust rate, and the stock is all in good order, and evry thing looks like good attention had MAJOR Jones's travels. 205 been paid to it by the overseer, who ses he tiam't got no complaints to make agin none of the niggers except old Saul, what sot the woods afire in one of his possum- hunts, and burnt 'bout twenty panels of fence. Old Saul always was the most bominable possum-hunter and fish-trapper I ever seed in my life ; but he's too old to quarrel with him now, and besides, he's a monstrous good old feller. Sum of the little niggers has been cuttin up sum antics, and had to have a little buckin to keep 'em from spilin 'fore I cum home. But on the whole things has gone on much better than I expected, and I've made a proclamation of a general pardon for all offences, and gin 'em all the presents what I bought for 'em in New York. If you could see Prissy with her New York riggins on, you would think she was the proudest nigger in Georgia. She don't want to do nothin now but go to church and take the baby out a visitin the nabors. Little Henry Clay's grow'd a heap and can begin to talk rite smart, and with his new-fashioned Knicker- bocker cote on, and his red velvet cap with a gold tossel on it, what I brung from New York for him, he is the cuninest-lookin little feller you ever did see. The galls is all tickeled to deth with ther new- fashioned brestpins, and Mary likes her dresses fust rate, only she ses they are too expensive, and won't do to wear until next winter. Pore gall, she ses she never did think she loved me so much til I was away from her, and she ses she wouldn't let me go agin noi for all the world. Would you blieve it, Mr. Thomp- son, she fell away more'n ten pounds while I was gone, jest grievin about me. Her mother ses she never did see anybody take on so, specially when she red in the paperi 'bout any railrode accidents or steambote explosions. Well, it's all over now, and I don't think we will ever be separated agin. Give me home after all. I've travelled more'n four thousand miles — I've seed sum fourteen states, and more'n five hundretl cities and 203 MAJOR JOXES'S TRAVELS. towns — Fve seed the northern peeple, in ther cities, ii ther towns and in the country, and though I've got a good deal better opinion of 'em sense I've been among 'em a little, than I had afore, still I say, give me old Georgia yet. We hain't got so many cities, nor sich fine ones — we hain't got so much public improvements nd all them sort o' things — but we've got a plenty of vry thing that is necessary to make us independent and happy. We've got as fine a soil, a finer climate, as smart men, and liandsumer wimmin than any other country in the world, and nothin can hinder us from bein one of the greatest states in the Union, if we go to work as we ought to, and develop our own resources. I blieve a jurney to the North is calculated to do a southern man a grate deal of good, if he goes thar in the rite sperit and for the rite purpose. He will see thar a grate deal to be proud of as a American, and much to be ashamed of as a white man. He will find all sorts of peeple thar — sum that is examples of patriot- ism, intelHgence, and enterprise, and sum that ain't no manner of account on the face of the yeath, only to kick up a eternal rumpus and keep the world in a everlastin stew about ther new^-fangled fooleries ; and though, as a peeple the Northerners is very different from us in a grate many things, the majority of 'em is actuated by the same impulses, and is strivin on for wealth and power like all the rest cf the world. Ther's a good deal of ignorance and prejudice at the North, to be shore, specially about matters what don't consarn ther own interests ; but it is to be hoped that whar ther is so much patriotism and intelligence, they will sum dav larn to mind ther own bisness, and leave other peeple's . consarns to be reguhted by ther own consciences and ther own judgments. Hopin that we may both live to see that diy, I sign myself Your frend til deth, Jos. Jones. THE END. CATALOGUE OF BOOKS PUBLISHED BY T. B. PETERSON and BROTHERS, PHILADELPHIA, PA,, And for sale by all Booksellers. B^" Any of tlie books named In this Catalognc, will be sent by mail, to any one, to any place, at once, post-paid, on remitting the price of the ones wanted to T. B. PETEUSOX & BROTHERS, Pliiladelpbiar Pa. Cheapest Book House in m World Is at the Publishing and Bookselling Establishment of T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS, No. 306 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa. OH^ T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS, Philadelpliia, are the American publishers of the popular and fast-selling books written by Mrs. Emma D. E. N. Southworth, Mas. Ann S. Stephens, Mrs. Caroline Lee Hkntz, Miss Eliza A. Dupuy, Mrs. C. A. Warfield, Mrs. Henry Wood, Q. K. P. Doesticks, Emerson Bennett, T. S. Arthur, George Lippard, Hans Breitmann (Charles G. Leland), James A. 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They are new boolcs, and are cheap editions of the most popular and most saleable books published, are written by the best American and English authors, and are presented in a very attractive style, printed from legible type, on good ])aper, and are especially adapted to suit all who love to read good books, as well as for all General Reading, and they will be found for sale by all Booksellers, and at Hotel Stands, Railroad Stations and in the Cars. They are'in fact the most popular series of works of fiction ever published, retailing at 25 cents, 50 cents, 75 cents, $1.00, $1.50, ftl.75, and $2.00 each, as they comprise the writings of the best and most popular authors in the world, all of which will be sold by us to the trade at very low prices, Vnd also at retail to everybody. 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J$^ Booksellers, Librarians, News Agents, Canvassers, Pedlers, and all other per- sons, who may want any of Petersons' Popular and Fast Selling Hooks, will pleas* address their orders and letters, at once, to meet with immediate attention, to T. B. PETEKSON & BROTHEPvS, Publishers, 8 306 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa." T B. PETERSON m BROTHERS' NEW BOOKS. Booksellers, News Agents, and all others in want of good and fast- selling books will please send in tkeir orders at once. ]6mILE ZOLA'S NEW AND GREAT WORKS. L'Assommoir. By Emile Zola. The Greatest Novel ever printed. Price 75 eents in paper cover, or SI. 00 in morocco cloth, black and gold. The Markets of Paris; or, Le Ventre de Paris. By Emile Zola. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in morocco cloth, black and gold. The Conquest of Plassans ; or, La Conquete de Plaaaans. By Emile Zola. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in cloth, black and gold. The Rougon-Macquart Family ; or, La Fortune Dea Jiuuyon. By Eunle Zola. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in clotb, black and gold. The Abbe's Temptation ; or, La Faute De L'Abbe Mouret. By Emile Zola. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in cloth, black and gold. Helene, a Love Episode; or, Uue Piuje D' Amour. By Emile Zola. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in morocco cloth, black and gold. HENRY GREVILLE'S GREAT NOVELS. Dosia. A Euasian Story. By Henry Griville, author of " Markof." Philom&ne's Marriages. With Author's Preface. By Henry OrivtUe^ Pretty Little Countess Zina. By Henry Greville, author of "Dosia. Marrying OS a Daughter. A Lave Story. By Henry Griville. Above are in paper cover, price 75 cents each, or in cloth, at $1.25 each. Saveli's Expiation. A Powerful Nov >1. By Henry Gr6ville. Dournof. A Russian Story. By Hen fy Greville, author of "Dosia. Bonne-Marie. A Tale of Normandy &nd Paris. By Henry Greville. A Friend ; or, " L'Arai." By Henry G reville, author of " Dosia." Sonia. A Love Story. By Henry Gr^ rille, author of " Dosia." Gabrielle; or, The House of Maureze. By Henry Greville. ^ Above are in paper cover, price 50 coi.ts each, or in cloth, at $1.00 each. Markof, the Russian Violinist. A Rassian Story. By Henry Grevilla One large volume, 12mo., cloth, price $1.50, or paper cover, 75 cents. MRS. BURNETT'S LOVE STORIES. Kathleen. A Love Story. By Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett. A Quiet Life. By Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett, author of " Theo.' ^^ Miss Crespigny. A Charming Love Story. By author of" Kathleen.' Theo. A Love Story. By autbor of " Kathleen," " Miss Crespigny,' otQ Pretty Polly Pemberton. By author of " Kathleen," " Theo," etc. Above are in p:iper cover, price 50 cents each, or in cloth, at $1.00 each. Jarl's Daughter and Other Tales. By Mrs. Burnett. Price 25 cents. Lindsay's Luck. By Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett. Price 25 cents. Above Books wiU be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Pric^ by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. (A) T. B. PETERSON andJBROTHERS' NEW BOOKS. BY AUTHOR OF "A HEART TWICE WON." A Heart Twice "Won ; or, Second Love. A Love Story. By Mrs. Eliza- beth Van Loon. Morocco cloth, black and gold. Price $1.50. Under the Willows; or, The Three Countesses. By Mrs. Elizabeth Van Loon, author of "A Heart Twice Won." Cloth, and gold. Price $1.50. The Shadow of Hampton Mead. A Charming Story. By Mrs. Elizabeth Van Loon, author of "A Heart Twice Won." Cloth. Price $1.53. NEW AND GOOD BOOKS BY BEST AUTHORS. The Earl of Mayfield. Sixth Edition Noio Ready. Complete in one large duodecimo volume, morocco cloth, black and gold, price $1.50. The Last Athenian. By Victor Rydberg. Translated from the Swedish. Large 12mo. volume, near 600 pages, cloth, black and gold, price $1.75. The Count de Camors. The Man of the Second Empire. By Octave Ftuillet. Price 75 cents in paper cover, or $1.25 in morocco cloth. Major Jones's Courtship. Author's New, Jiewritten, aitd Enlarged Edi- tion. By Major Joseph Jones. 21 Illustrations. Price 75 cents. Rancy Cottem's Courtship. By author of *' Major Jones's Courtship.** Authors Edition. 8 Illustrations. Price 50 cents. Angele's Fortune. By Andre Theuriet. Paper cover, 75 cents, cloth $1.25. St. Maur; or, An Earl's Wooing. Paper cover, 75 cents, cloth $1.25. NEW BOOKS BY THE VERY BEST AUTHORS. The folloioing books are all printed on tinted paper, and are each issued in uniform style, in square 12mo. form. Price Fifty Cents each in Paper Cover, or $1.00 each in Morocco Cloth, Black and Gold. The Little Countess. By Octave Feuillet, author of " Count De Camors." The Amours of Phillippe; or, Phillippc's Love Affairs, by Octave Feuillet. Sybil Brotherton. A Novel. By Mrs. Emma D. E. N. Southworth. The Red Hill Tragedy. By Mrs. Emma D. E. N. Southworth. Fanchoo" the Cricket; or, La Petite Fadette. By George Sand. Carmen* By Prosper Merimee. Book the Opera ukis dramatized from. Miss Margery's Roses. A Charming Love Story. By Ptobert C. Meyers. The Days of Madame Pompadour. By Gabrielle De St. Andre. Father Tom and the Pope; or, A Night at the Vatican. Illustrated. Madeleine. A Charming Love Story. Jules Sandeau's Prize Novel. Madame Pompadour's Garter. A Romance of the Reign of Louis XV. A Woman's Mistake; or, Jacques de Trevannes. A Charming Love Story. The Story of Elizabeth. By Miss Thackeray, daughter of W. M.Thackeray. The Matchmaker. By Beatrice Reynolds. A Charming Love Story. Two Ways to Matrimony ; or. Is it Love? or, False Pride. That Girl of Mine. By the author of '' That Lover of Mine." Bessie's Six Lovers. A Charming Love Story. By Henry Peterson. That Lover of Mine. By the author of That Girl of Mine." Above are in paper cover, price 50 cents each, or in cloth, at $1.00 each. j^* Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on Receipt of Retail Price, by T. 3. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. {\\\) T. B. PETERSON and BROTHERS^BLICATIONS. er Orders solicited from Booksellers, Librarians, News Agents, and all others in want of good and fast-selling books. .^ MRS EMMA D. E. N. SOUTHWORTH'S WORKS. The Spectre Lov , ^ Victor's Triumph, 1 '5 A Beautiful Fiend. 1 J^ The Artist's Love, 1 75 A Noble Lord, 1 75 Lost Heir of Linlithgow, 1 7o Tried for her Life, 1 7o Cruel as the Grave, 1 75 The Maiden Widow, 1 75 The Family Doom, 1 75 The Bride's Fate, 1 75 The Changed Brides, 1 75 Fallen Pride, } 75 The Widow's Son, 1 75 The Bride of Llewellyn, 1 75 The Missing Bride; or, Miriam, the Avenger, Above are each in cloth, or each one is m paper cover, at ^l.oU eacn. MRS. CAROLINE LEE HENTZ'S WORKS. Oreen and Gold Edition. Complete in Uoelve volumes, in green morocco cloth. Green ""^^.J^.'^'l^ j^^,/, . ^r $21.00 a set, each set is put up m a neat box. Ernest Lin wood, $1 75 The Planter's Northern Bride,.. 1 75 Courtship and Marriage, 1 75 Prince of Darkness, 1 75 The Three Beauties, 1 75 Vivia; or the Secret of Power, 1 75 Love's Labor Won, 1 75 The Gipsy's Prophecy, 1 75 Retribution, 1 75 The Christmas Guest, 1 75 Haunted Homestead, 1 75 Wife's Victory, J '^ Allworth Abbey, ] 7o India ; Pearl of Pearl lliver,.. 1 i 5 Curse of Clifton, J 75 Discarded Daughter, J 7& The Mystery of Dark Hollow,.. 1 7& 1 75 Rena; or, the Snow Bird....... 1 75 Marcus Warland, I 75 Linda ; or, the Younz Pilot of the Love after Marriage, SI 75 Eoline; or Magnolia Vale, 1 i_^ The Lost Daughter, 1 ^^ The Banished Son, J '5 Helen and Arthur, J JO Belle Creole, ] ^a Robert Graha.u; the^Sequel to "Linda; or Pilot o/ Belle Creole^ Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at ?l.oO eacn. 1 75 ^•Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of RetaU Pricft by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Pkiladeltbia, Pa. (.ij 2 T. B. PETERSON & BEOTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. MRS. ANN S. STEPHENS' WORKS. Jhmplete in Uvmiy-three largf, duodecimo volumes, hound in morocco cloth, gilt bach price $1.75 each ; or $i0.'25 a s«t, each set is put up in a neat box. The Soldiers' Orphans, $1 75 A Noble Woman, 1 75 PTorston's Rest, $1 75 Bertha's Engagement, 1 75 Ballehood and Bondage, 1 75 The Old Countess, 1 75 Lord Hope's Choice, 1 75 The Reigning Belle, 1 75 Palaces and Prisons, 1 75 Married in Haste, 1 75 Wives and Widows, 1 75 Ruby Gray's Strategy, 1 75 Silent Struggles, I 76 The Rejected Wife, 1 75 The Wife's Secret, 1 75 Mary Derwent, 1 75 Fashion and Famine, 1 T5 The Curse of Gold, 1 75 Mabel's Mistake, 1 75 The Old Homestead, 1 75 Doubly False,.... 1 75 | The Heiress,.... 1 75 | The Gold Brick,... 1 75 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. MRS. C. A. WARFIELD'S WORKS. (hmplete innine large duodecimo volumes, bound in morocco cloth, gilt back, prict $1.75 each; or $15.75 a set, each set is put up in, a neat box. the Cardinal's Daughter, $1 75 Miriam's Memoirs, $1 75 Feme Fleming, 1 75 Monfort Hall, 1 75 The Household of Bouverie,.,.. 1 75 Sea and Shore 1 7.5 A Double Wedding, 1 75 | Hester Howard's Temptation,,. 1 75 Xady Ernestine; or. The Absent Lord of Rocheforte, 1 74 BEST COOK BOOKS PUBLISHED. Every housekeeper should possess at least one of the following Cook Books, as they would save the price of it in a week's cooking. The Queen of the Kitchen. Containing 1007 Old Maryland Family Receipts for Cooking, Cloth, $1 75 Misa Leslie's New Cookery Book, Cloth, 1 75 Mrs. Hale's New Cook Book, Cloth, 1 75 Petersons' New Cook Book, Cloth, 1 75 Widdifield's New Cook Book, Cloth, 1 75 Mrs. Goodfellow's Cookery as it Should Be, Cloth, 1 75 The National Cook Book. By a Practical Housewife, Cloth, 1 75 The Young Wife's Cook Book, Cloth, 1 75 Miss Leslie's Now Receipts for Cooking, Cloth, 1 75 Mrs. Hale's Receipts for the Million, Cloth, 1 75 The Family Save-All. By author of " National Cook Book," Cloth, 1 76 f rancatelli's Modem Cook. With the most approved methods of French, English, German, and Italian Cookery. With Sixty-two Illustrations. One volume of 600 pages, bound in morocco cloth, 5 00 1^" Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Pxibe. by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. T. B, PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIOKS. 3 m — — ^__ MISS ELIZA A. DUPUY'S WORKS. Vom.'plett infourteeM large duodecimo vr.lumes, hniind in mnrncco cloth, gilt back, pri<» $1.75 each; or $24.50 a set, each set is put up in a neat box. A New Way to Win a Fortune $1 75 The Discarded Wife, I 75 The Clandestine Marriage, 1 75 The Hidden Sin, 1 75 The Dethroned Heiress, 1 75 The Gipsy's Warning, 1 75 All For Love, 1 75 Why Did He Marry Her ? $1 75 Who Shall be Victor? 1 75 The Mysterious Guest, 1 75 Was He Guilty? 1 7S The Cancelled Will, 1 74 The Planter's Daughter, 1 75 /^ Michael Rudolph, 1 76 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1,60 each. DOESTICKS' WORKS. Complete in four large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, price $1.7S each ; or $7.U0 a set, each set is put uj) in a neat box. Doesticks' Letters, $1 75 I The Elephant Club, $1 75/ Plu-Ri-Bus-Tah, 1 75 | Witches of New York, 1 75 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. JAMES A. MAITLAND'S WORKS. Complete in seven large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, price $1.75 each ; or $12.25 a set, each set is put up in a neat box. The Watchman, $1 75 I Diary of an Old Doctor, $1 75 i^ The Wanderer, 1 75 Sartaroe, 1 75 The Lawyer's Story, 1 75 ' The Three Cousins 1 75 The Old Patroon ; or the Great Van Broek Property, 1 75 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. T. ADOLPHTJS TROLLOPE'S WORKS. Complete in seven large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, price $1.75 each ; or $12.25 a sety each set is put up in a neat box. The Sealed Packet, $1 75 I Dream Numbers $1 75 Garstang Grange, 1 75 | Beppo, the Conscript, 1 75 Jjeonora Casaloni,... 1 75 | Gemtua,, 1 75 [ Marietta, \ 76 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. FREDRIKA BREMER'S WORKS. Omtpltte m six large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, price $1.T* ««#A ; or $10.50 a set, each set is put up in a neat box. Father and Daughter, $1 75 I The Neighbors, $1 71 The Four Sister.s 1 75 I The Home, 1 7* Abov« are ench in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. Life in the Old World. In two volumes, cloth, price, 3 50 1^* Above Books will be sent postage paid, on receipt of Retail ?rt«^ by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. i T. B. PETEESOIT & BEOTHEBS' PUBLICATIOITS. — - — ■ — — -4 WILKIE COLLmS' BEST WORKS. Basil; or, The Crossed Path..$l 60 | The Dead Secret. 12mo $1 50 Above are each in one large duodecimo volume, bound in cloth. The Queen's Revenge, 75 Miss or Mrs? 60 Mad Monkton, 50 The Dead Secret, 8vo 75 Basil; or, the Crossed Path, 75 Hide and Seek, 75 After Dark, 75 I Sights a-Foot, c 60 The Stolen Mask, 25 | The Yellow Mask,... 25 | Sister Rose,..,, 25 The above books are each issued in paper cover, in octavo form. FB,ANK EOBRESTEE'S SPORTIK"G BOOK. \ Frank Forrester's Sporting Scenes and Characters. By Henry Vi il- liam Herbert. With Illustrations by Darley. Two vols., cioth,...$4 00 EMEESOH BENITETT'S WORKS. Complete in seven large duodecimo volumes, ommd in cloth, gilt hack, price $1.75 each ; or $12.25 a set, each set is put up in a neat box. The Border Rover, $1 75 I Bride of the Wilderness, $1 75 Clara Moreland, 1 75 | Ellen Norbury, I 75 The Orphan's Trials, 1 75 i Kate Clarendon, 1 75 Viola; or Adventures in the Far South-West, 1 75 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each, the Heiress of Bellefonte, 75 \ The Pioneer's Daughter, 75 GREEN'S WORKS OH GAMBLING. Pomplet€ in four large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, pricb $1.75 eacli ; or $7.00 a set, each set is imt tip in a neat boon, >. Gambling Exposed $1 75 i Reformed Gambler, $1 75 \Ihe Gambler's Life, 1 75 | Secret Band of Brother.-^, 1 75 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. BOW'S PATENT SERMONS. Complete in four large duodecimo volumes, bound in cloth, gilt back, price $1.60 each ; or $6.00 a set, each set is put up in a neat box. Dow's Patent Sermons, 1st Series, cloth, $1 50 Dow's Patent Sermons, 2d Series, cloth 1 60 Dow's Patent Sermons, 3d Series, cloth, $1 fiO Dow's Patent Sermons, 4th Scries, cloth, 1 60 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.00 each, MISS BRADBON'S WORKS. Aurora Floyd, 75 I The Lawyer's Secret, 25 Aurora Floyd, cloth 1 00 | For Better, For Worse, 7fl f^ Above books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Ketail Pricfr by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, PMladelpiiia, Pa. 6 T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. CHARLES LEVER'S BEST WORKS. Charles O'Malley, 75 Arthur O'Leary, 75 Harry Lorrequer, 75 Con Cregan, 75 Jack Hinton, 75 Davenport Duun, 75 Tom Burke of Ours, 75 Horace Templeton, 75 Knight of Gwynne, 75 Kate O'Donoghue, 75 Above arc in paper cover, or a fine edition is in cloth at $2.00 each. A R^nt in a Cloud, 50 | St. Patrick's Eve, 58 Ten Thousand a Year, in one volume, paper cover, $1.50; or in cloth, 2 00 The Diary of a Medical Student, by author " Ten Thousand a Year," 76 MRS. HENRY WOOD'S BEST BOOKS. The Shadow of Ashlydyat, $1 58 Squire Trevlyu's Heir, I 50 Oswald Cray, 1 50 Mildred Arkell, 1 50 The Red Court Farm, 1 50 Sister's Folly, 1 50 Saint Martin's Eve, 1 50 Th-g Master of Greylands, $1 50 Wiihin the Maze, 1 50 Dene Hollow, 1 50 Bessy Rane, 1 50 George Canterbury's Will, 1 50 Verner's Pride, 1 50 The Channings, 1 50 Roland Yorke. A Sequel to " The Channings,' 1 ^^ Lord Oakburn's Daughters ; or. The Earl's Heirs, 1 5 Ihe Castle's Heir; or. Lady Adelaide's Oath, ..........._ 1 5U The above are each in paper cover, or in cloth, price $1.75 each. Edino,; or. Missing Since Midnight, cloth, $1, paper cover, 75 The Mystery 75 A Life's Secret, 5J Parkwater. Told in Twilight, 75 The Lost Bank Note, 50 The Lost Will, 50 Orville College, 60 Five Thousand a Year, 25 The Diamond Bracelet, 25 Clara Lake's Dream, 25 The Nobleman's Wife, 25 Frances Hildyard, 25 Cyrilla Maude's First Love,... 25 My Cousin Caroline's Wedding 25 The Haunted Tower 50 The Runaway Match, 25 Martyn Ware's Temptation, 25 The Dean of Denham, 25 Foggy Night at Offord, 25 William Allair, 25 A Light and a Dark Christmas, 25 The Smuggler's Ghost 25 Rupert Hall, 26 My Husband's First Love, 25 'Marrying Beneath Your Station "'^ 25 EUGENE SUE'S GREAT WORKS. The Wandering Jew, $1 50 The Mysteries of Paris, 1 50 Martin, the Foundling, 1 50 Above are in cloth at $2.00 each. First Love, Woman's Love, .... Female Bluebeard, Man-of-War's-Man, Life and Adventures of Raoul de Surville. A Tale of the Empire, •Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of RetaU Price, by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. 7 •- — . MRS. HENRY WOOD'S BEST BOOKS, IN CLOTH. The following are cloth editions of Mrs. Henry Wood's best books, and they are each issued in large octavo volumes, bound in cloth, price $1.75 each. Within the Maze. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of " East Lynne," $1 76 The Master of Greylands. By Mrs. Henry Wood, 1 75 Dene Hollow. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of" Within the Maze," 1 75 Bessy Rane. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of The Channings,".... 1 75 George Canterbury's Will. By Mrs. Wood, author "Oswald Cray," 1 75 The Channings. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of ** Dene Hollow,"... 1 75 Roland Yorke. A Sequel to " The Channings." By Mrs. Wood, 1 75 Shadow of Ashlydyatt. By Mrs. Wood, author of " Bessy Rane,".... 1 75 Lord Oakburn's Daughters; or The Earl's Heirs. By Mrs. Wood,... 1 75 Verner's Pride. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of " The Channings," 1 75 The Castle's Heir; or Lady Adelaide's Oath. By Mrs. Henry Wood, 1 75 Oswald Cray. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of " Roland Yorke,".... 1 75 Squire Trevlyn's Heir; or Trevlyn Hold. By Mrs. Henry Wood, 1 76 The Red Court Farm. By Mrs. Wood, author of " Verner's Pride," 1 75 Elster's Folly. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of " Castle's Heir,"... 1 75 St. Martin's Eve. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of "Dene Hollow,"! 75 Mildred Arkell. By Mrs. Henry Wood, author of "East Lynne," 1 75 WORKS BY THE VERY BEST AUTHORS. The following books are each issued in one large duodecimo volumes hound in cloth, at $1.75 each, or each one is inpaper cover, at $1.50 each. The Initials. A Love Story. By Baroness Tautphoeus, $1 75 Married Beneath Him. By author of " Lost Sir Massingberd," 1 75 Margaret Maitland. By Mrs. Oliphant, author of "Zaidee," 1 75 Family Pride. By author of " Pique," "Family Secrets," etc 1 75 Self-Sacrifice. By author of " Margaret Maitland," etc 1 75 The Woman in Black. A Companion to the "Woman in White," ... 1 75 The Autobiography of Edward Wortley Montagu, I 75 The Forsaken Daughter, A Companion to "Linda," 1 75 Love and Liberty. A Revolutionary Story. By Alexander Dumas, 1 75 The Morrisons. By Mrs. Margaret Hosmer, 1 75 The Rich Husband. By author of " George Gcith," 1 7.* Woodburn Grange. A Novel. By William Howitt, 1 75 The Lost Beauty. By a Noted Lady of the Spanish Court, 1 75 My Hero. By Mrs. Forrester. A Charming Love Story, 1 75 The Quaker Soldier. A Revolutionary Romance. By Judge Jones,.... 1 75 Memoirs of Vidocq, the French Detective. His Life and Adventures, 1 75 The Belle of Washington. With her Portrait. By Mrs. N. P. Lasselle, 1 75 "High Life in Washington. A Life Picture. By Mrs. N. P. Lasselle, 1 76 Above books are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 eaoh • » o- ^^ Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on Receipt of Retail Prio» by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. « T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. WORKS BY THE VERY BEST AUTHORS. Tke following books are each issued in one large duodecimo volume^ 'kound in cloth, at $1.75 each, or each one is in paper cover at $1.50 each. The Count of Monte-Cristo. By Alexander Dumas. Illustrated,...$l 75 The Countess of Monte-Cristo. Paper cover, price $1.00 ; or cloth,.. 1 75 Camille; or, the Fate of a Coquette. By Alexander Dumas, 1 75 Love and Money. By J. B. Jones, author of the " Rival Belles,"... 1 75 The Brother's Secret ; or, the Count De Mara. By William Godwin, 1 75 The Lost Love. By Mrs. Oliphant, author of " Margaret Maitland," 1 75 The Roman Traitor. By Henry William Herbert. A Roman Story, 1 75 The Bohemians of Lond'on. By Edward M. Whitty, 1 75 Wild Sports and Adventures in Africa. By Major W. C. Harris, 1 75 Courtship and Matrimony. By Robert Morris. With a Portrait,... 1 75 The Jealous Husband. By Annette Marie Maillard, 1 75 The Life, Writings, and Lectures of the late " Fanny Fern," 1 75 The Life and Lectures of Lola Montez, with her portrait, 1 75 Wild Southern Scenes. By author of "Wild Western Scenes," 1 75 Currer Lyle J or, the Autobiography of an Actress. By Louise Reeder. 1 75 The Cabin and Parlor. By J. Thornton Randolph. Illustrated, 1 75 The Little Beauty. A Love Story. By Mrs. Grey, 1 75 Lizzie Glenn ; or, the Trials of a Seamstress. By T. S. Arthur, 1 75 Lady Maud ; or, the Wonder of Kingswood Chase.- By Pierce Egan, 1 75 Wilfred Montressor ; or. High Life in New York. Illustrated, 1 75 The Old Stone Mansion. By C. J.Peterson, author "Kate Aylesford," 1 75 Kate Aylesford. By Chas. J. Peterson, author " Old Stone Mansion,". 1 75 Lorrimer Littlegood, by author " Harry Coverdale's Courtship," 1 75 The Earl's Secret. A Love Story. By Miss Pardee, 1 75 The Adopted Heir. By Miss Pardee, author of "The Earl's Secret," 1 7o Coal, Coal Oil, and all other Minerals in the Earth. By Eli Bowen, 1 75 Secession, Coercion, and Civil War. By J. B. Jones, 1 75 Above books are each in cloth, or each one is in papercover, at $1.60 each. The Dead Secret. By Wilkie Collins, author of " The Crossed Path," 1 50 The Crossed Path; or Basil. By Wilkie Collins, 1 50 Indiana. A Love Story. By George Sand, author of " Consuelo, 1 50 Jealousy : or, Teverino. By Geoijge Sand, author of " Consuelo, etc. 1 50 Six Nights with the Washingtonians, Illustrated. By T. S. Arthur, 3 50 Comstock's Elocution and Model Speaker. Intended for the use of Schools, Colleges, and for private Study, for the Promotion ot Health, Cure of Stammering, and Defective Articulation. By Andrew Comstock and Philip Lawrence. With 236 Illustrations.. 2 00 iChe Lawrence Speaker. A Selection of Literary Gems in Poetry and Prose, designed for the use of Colleges, Schools, Seminaries, Literary Societies. By Philip Lawrence, Professor of Elocution. 600 pages.. 2 00 < • • » > ^' Above Books will be sent* postage paid, on receipt of RetaU Pri'^ by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. 9 ALEXANDER DUMAS' WORKS, BOUND IN CLOTH. f he following are cloth editions of Duma a' and Reynolds' woi^ks, and they art each issued in large octavo volumes, bound in cloth, price $1.75 each. The Three Guardsmen ; or. The Three Mousquetaires. By A. Dumas,$l 75 Twenty Years After; or the "Second Series of Three Guardsmen,"... 1 75 Bragelonne; Son of Athos ; or " Third Series of Three Guardsmen," 1 75 The Iron Mask; or the " Fourth Series of The Three Guardsmen,".... 1 73 Louise La Valliere; or the "Fifth Series and End of the Three Guardsmen Series," 1 75 The Memoirs of a Physician. By Alexander Dumas. Illustrated,... 1 75 Queen's Necklace; or " Second Series of Memoirs of a Physician " 1 75 Six Years Later; or the " Third Series of Memoirs of a Physician," 1 73 Countess of Charny ; or "Fourth Series of Memoirs of a Physician," 1 75 Andree De Taverney ; or *' Fifth Series of Memoirs of a Physician," 1 76 The Chevalier; or the "Sixth Series and End of the Memoirs of a Physician Series," 1 75 The Adventures of a Marquis. By Alexander Dumas, 1 75 The Count of Monte-Cristo. By Alexander Dumas, 1 75 Edmond Dantes. A Sequel to the " Count of Monte-Cristo," 1 75 The Forty-Five Guardsmen. By Alexander Dumas. Illustrated,... 1 75 Diana of Meridor, or Lady of Monsoreau. By Alexander Dumas,... 1 75 The Iron Hand. By Alex. Dumas, author "Count of Monte-Cristo," 1 75 Camille; or the Fate of a Coquette. (La Dame aux Camelias,) 1 75 The Conscript. A novel of the Days of Napoleon the First, 1 75 Love and Liberty. A novel of the French Revolution of 1792-1793, 1 75 GEORGE W. M. REYNOLDS' WORKS, IN CLOTH. The Mysteries of the Court of London. By George W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Rose Foster; or the "Second Series of Mysteries of Court of London," 1 75 Caroline of Brunswick; or the " Third Series of the Court of London," 1 75 VenetiaTrelawney; ov " End of the Mysteries of the Court of London," 1 75 Lord Saxondale; or the Court of Queen Victoria. By Reynolds, 1 75 Count Christoval. Sequel to "Lord Saxondale." By Reynolds, 1 75 Rosa Lambert; or Memoirs of an Unfortunate Woman. By Reynolds, 1 75 Mary Price; or the Adventures of a Servant Maid. By Reynolds,... 1 75 Eustace Quentin. Sequel to " Mary Price." By G. W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Joseph Wilmot; or the Memoirs of a Man Servant. By Reynolds,... 1 75 The Banker's Daughter. Sequel to "Joseph Wilmot." By Reynolds, 1 75 Kenneth. A Romance of the Highlands. By G. W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Rye-House Plot; or the Conspirator's Daughter. By Reynolds, 1 75 Necromancer; or the Times of Henry the Eighth. By Reynolds, 1 75 The Mysteries of the Court of the Stuarts. By G. W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Wallace; the Hero of Scotland. By G. W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 The Gipsy Chief. By George W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Robert Bruce j the Hero King of Scotland. By G. W. M. Reynolds, 1 75 Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Pricey by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. 10 T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. WORKS BY THE VERY BEST AUTHORS. Tlie folloicing books are each issued in one large octavo volume, hound «* cloth, at $2.00 each, or each one is done tq) in ixiper cover, at $1.50 each. Tho "Wandering Jew. By Eugene Sue. Full of Illustrations, $2 0« Jlysteries of Paris ; and its Sequel, Gcrolstein. By Eugene Sue,.... 2 00 Martin, the Foundling. By Eugene Sue. Full of Illustrations, 2 00 Ten Thousand a Year. By Samuel "Warren. With Illustrations,.... 2 00 Washington and His Generals. By George Lippard,.. 2 00 The Quaker City; or, the Monks of Monk Hall. By George Lippard, 2 00 Blanche of Brandywino. By George Lippard, 2 00 Paul Ardenheim; the Monk of Wissahiekon. By George Lippard,. 2 00 The Mysteries of Florence. By Geo. Lippard, author " Quaker City," 2 00 The Pictorial Tower of London. By W. Harrison Ainsworth, 2 50 Above books are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. The following are each issued in one large octavo volume, hound in cloth, price $2.04 each, or a cheu}) edition is issued in paper cover, at lb cents each. Charles O'Malley, the Irish Dragoon. By Charles Lever, Cloth, $2 00 Harry Lorrequer. With his Confessions. By Charles Lever,.. .Cloth, 2 00 Jack Hinton, the Guardsman. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 CO Davenport Dunn. A Man of Our Day. By Charles Lever,. ..Cloth, 2 00 Tom Burke of Ours. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 The Knight of Gwynno. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 Arthur O'Leary. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 Con Cregan. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 Horace Templeton. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 Kate O'Donoghue. By Charles Lever, Cloth, 2 00 Valentine "\^ox, the Ventriloquist. By Harry Cockton, Cloth, 2 00 Above are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at 75 cents each. \^,— HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATED WORKS. "^--^ /x. Each one is full of Illustrations, hij Felix 0. C. Darhy, and hound in Cloth, ^ / Major Jones' Courtship and Travels. With 21 Illustrations, $1 75 ^^^ Mnjor Jones' Scenes in Georgia. With 10 Illustrations, 1 75 V '^ Simon Suggs' Adventures and Travels. With 17 Illustrations, 1 75 ^^^ Swamp Doctor's Adventures in the South-West. li Illustrations,... 1 60 ^'^ Col. Thorpe's Scenes in Arkansaw. With 16 Illustrations, 1 50 '***-^ The Big Bear's Adventures and Travels. With 18 Illustrations, 1 75 '^'^-^ High Life in New York, by Jonathan Slick. With Illustrations,.... 1 75 Judge Haliburton's Yankee Stories. Illustrated, 1 75 ^''■^^Harry Coverdale's Courtship and Marriage. Illustrated, 1 75 '^-^ Piney Wood's Tavern ; or, Sam Slick in Texas. Illustrated, 1 75 V^ Sam Slick, the Clockmaker. By Judge Ilaliburton. Illustrated,... 1 75 Humors of Falconbridge. By J. F. Kclley. With Illustrations, ... 1 75 Modern Chivalry. By Judge Brcckenridgo. Two vols., each 1 75 "Neal's Charcoal Sketches. By Joseph C. Neal. 21 Illustrations,... 2 50 1^° Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Priw by T. B. Poterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. 11 NEW AND GOOD BOOKS BY BEST AUTHORS. Beautiful Snow, and Other Poems. Neio Illustrated Edition. By J. W. Watson. With Illustrations by E. L. Henry. One volume, morocco cloth, black and gold, gilt top, side, and back, price $2.00; or in maroon morocco cloth, full gilt edges, full gilt back, full gilt sides, $3 00 The Outcast, and Other Poems. By J. W. Watson. One volume, green morocco cloth, gilt top, side and back, price $2.00 ; or in ma- roon morocco cloth, full gilt edges, full gilt back, full gilt sides, ... 3 00 The Young Magdalen; and Other Poems. By Francis S. Smith, editor of " The New York Weekly." With a portrait of the author. Complete in one large volume of 300 pages, bound in green mo- rocco cloth, gilt top, side, and back, price $8.00; or in full gilt,.... 4 00 Hans Breitmann's Ballads. By Charles G. Leland. Containiiuf the ''First," '^Second," " Third," "Fourth," and "Fifth Series" of Bans Breitmann's Ballads. Complete in one large volume, bound in morocco cloth, gilt side, gilt top, and full gilt back, with beveled boards. With a full and complete Glossary to the whole work, 4 00 Meister Karl's Sketch Book. By Charles G. Leland. (Hans Breit- mann.) Complete in one volume, green morocco cloth, gilt side, gilt top, gilt back, with beveled boards, price $2.50, or in maroon morocco cloth, full gilt edges, full gilt back, full gilt sides, etc., 3 50 The Ladies' Guide to True Politeness and Perfect Manners. By Miss Leslie. Every lady should have it. Cluth, full gilt back,... 1 75 The Ladies' Complete Guide to Needlework and Embroidery. With 113 illustrations. By Miss Lambert. Cloth, full gilt back, 1 75 The Ladies' Work Table Book. With 27 illustrations. Cloth, gilt,. 1 50 Cyrilla; or the Mysterious Engagement. By author of " Initials," 1 00 The Miser's Daughter. By William Harrison Ainsworth, cloth, 1 75 John Jasper's Secret. A Sequel to Charles Dickens' " Mystery of Edwin Drood." With 18 Illustrations. Bound in cloth, 2 00 Across the Atlantic. Letters from France, Switzerland, Germany, Italy, and England. By C. H. Haeseler, M.D. Bound in cloth,... 2 00 Popery Exposed. An Exposition of Popery as it was and is, 1 75 The Story of Elizabeth. By Miss Thackeray, paper $1.00, or clotli,... 1 50 Dow's Short Patent Sermons. By Dow, Jr. In 4 vols., cloth, each.... 1 50 Wild Oats Sown Abroad. A Spicy Book. By T. B. Witmer, cloth,... 1 50 Aunt Patty's Scrap Bag. By Mrs. Caroline Lee Ilentz. Illustrated, 1 50 Historical Sketches of Plymouth, Luzerne Co., Penna. By Hendrick B. Wright, of Wilkesbarre. With Twenty-five Photographs, 4 00 HARRY COCKTON'S BEST WORKS. Valentine Vox, Ventriloquist,.. 75 Valentine Vox, cloth, 2 00 Sylvester Sound, 75 The Love Match, 75 The Fatal Marriages, 75 The Stewar.l, 75 Percy Effingham, 75 The Prince, 75 Above Books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Pric6i by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. 12 T. B. PETERSON & BROTHE RS' PTTBLICATIONS. NEW AND GOOD BOOKS BY BEST AUTHORS. Consuelo. By George Sand. One volume, 12mo., bound in cloth,...$l 50 The Countess of Rudolstadt. Sequel to " Consuelo." 12mo., cloth,.. 1 50 Hose Foster. By George W. M. Reynolds, Esq., cloth,... ...•••;/- ] '^ Lord Montagu's Page. By G. P. R. James, author of " Cava her, ... 1 75 Corinne: or, Italy. A Love Story. By Madame de Stacl, cloth,.... 1 Oft Treason at Home. A Novel. By Mrs. Greenough, cloth............... 1 7S Letters from Europe. By Colonel John W. Forney. Bound in cloth, 1 7» Frank Fairlegh. By author of " Lewis Arundel," cloth, 1 to Lewis ArundeL By author of " Frank Fairlegh," cloth,.... ........... 1 7» Harry Racket Scapegrace. By the author of '• Frank lairlegh, cloth, 1 75 Tom Racquet. By author of " Frank Fairlegh," cloth, 1 75 La Gaviota; the Sea-Gull. By Fernau Caballero cloth,.... ... ..... 1 50 Monsieur Antoine. By George Sand. Illustrated. One vol cloth, 1 00 Aurora Floyd. By Miss Braddon. One vol., paper 7o cents, cloth,... 1 00 The Life of Charles Dickens. By R. Shelton Mackenzie, cloth ...... ^ 00 The LaTfs and Practice of the Game of Euchro, as adopted by the Euchre Club of Washington, D. C. Bound in cloth,. ............... 1 00 Poetical Works of Sir Walter Scott. One 8vo. volume fine binding, 5 OO Life of Sir Walter Scott. By John G. Lockhart. With Portrait,.. . 2 50 The Shakspeare Novels. Complete in one large octavo volume, cloth, 4 00 Miss Pardoe's Choice Novels. In one large octavo volume, cloth,... 4 00 Life, Speeches and Martyrdom of Abraham Lincoln. Illustrated,... 1 7& Rome and the Papacy. A History of the Men, Manners and Tempo- ral Government of Rome in the Nineteenth Century, cloth 1 T* The French, German, Spanish, Latin and Italian Languages Vi ithout a Master. Whereby any one of these Languages can be learned without a Teacher. By A. H. Monteith. One volume, cloth, 2 00 Liebic^'s Complete Works on Chemistry. By Baron Justus Liebig... 2 09 Life a°nd Adventures of Don Quixote aud his Squire Sancho Panza, 1 7* Tan-go-ru-a. 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With 22 large full page colored ilkis- traiions, and 44 plates of ground plans, with plans, spocificatioos costs of building, etc. Ono largo quarto volume, bound, lo "" Above Books wHl be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Priee^ liy T. B. Petersca & Brothers, Philadelpkia, Pa. R 14 T, B. PETERSOIT & BROTHERS' PUBLICATIONS. WORKS BY THE VERY BEST AUTHORS. The Conscript; or, the Days of Napoleon 1st. By Alex. Dumas,. ...$1 75 Cousin Harry. By Mrs. Grey, author of " The Gambler's Wife," etc. 1 75 Married at Last. A Love Story. By Annie Thomas, 1 75 Shoulder Straps. By Henry Morford, author of "Days of Shoddy," 1 75 Days of Shoddy. By Henry Morford, author of ''Shoulder Straps," 1 75 The Coward. By Henry Morford, author of " Shoulder Straps," 1 75 Above books are each in cloth, or each one is in paper cover, at $1.50 each. Harry Lorrequer. With His Confessions. By Charles Lever. Four different editions : one at 75 cents in paper cover, and three bound in cloth, viz. : Sterling Series, at $1.00, Peoples' Edition, at $1.50, and Library Edition, at $2.00. Charles 6'Malley, the Irish Dragoon. Four different editions : one at 75 cents in paper cover, and three bound in cloth, viz. : Sterling Series, at $1.00, Peoples' Edition, at $1.50, and Library Edition, at $2.00. WORKS IN SETS BY THE BEST AUTHORS. Mrs. Emma D. E. N. Southworth's Popular Novels. 43 vols, in all, 75 25 Mrs. Ann S. Stephens' Celebrated Novels. 23 volumes in all, 40 25 Miss Eliza A. Dupuy's Works. Fourteen volumes in all, 24 50 Mrs. Caroline Lee Hentz's Novels. Twelve volumes in all, 21 00 Mrs. C. A. Warfield's Novels. Nine volumes in all, 15 75 Erederika Bremer's Novels. Six volumes in all, 10 50 T. Adolphus Trollope's Works. Seven volumes in all, 12 2S James A. Maitland's Novels. Seven volumes in all, 12 25 Charles Lever's Works. Ten volumes in all, 20 00 Alexander Dumas' Works. Twenty-one volumes in all, 36 75 Gorge W. M. Reynolds' Works. Eighteen volumes in (I'l, 31 50 Frank Fairlegh's Works. Six volumes in all, 10 5«'* Q. K. Philander Doestick's Novels. Four volumes in all, 7 00 Cook Books. The best in the world. Eleven volumes in all, 19 25 Henry Morford's Novels. Three volumes in all, 5 25 Mrs. Henry Wood's Novels. Seventeen volumes in all, 29 75 Emerson Bennett's Novels. Seven volumes in all, 12 25 Green's Works on Gambling. Four volumes in all, 7 00 American Humorous Works. Illustrated. Twelve volumes in all, 21 00 Eugene Sue's Best Works. Three volumes in all, 6 00 George Sand's Works. Consuelo, etc. Five volumes in all, 7 50 George Lippard's Works. Five volumes in all, 10 00 Dow's Short Patent Sermons. Four volumes in all, 6 00 The Waverley Novels. National Edition. Five large 8vo. vols., cloth, 15 00 Charies Dickens' Works. People's \2mo. Edition. 22 vols., cloth, ^4 00 Charles Dickens' Works. Green Cloth l2mo. Edition. 22 vols., cloth, 44 00 Charles Dickens' Works. Illustrated 12mo. Edition. 36 vols., cloth, 55 00 Charles Dickens' Works. Illustrated 8vo. Edition. 18 vols., cloth, 31 50 Charles Dickens' Works. New National Edition. 7 volumes, cloth, 20 00 |^° Above Boolcs will bo sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retail Priee^ by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. CHARLES DICKENS' WORKS >«S=- GREAT REDUCTION IN THEIR PRICES. -"S» CHEAP PAPER COVER EDITION OF DICKENS' WORKS. Each hook being complete in one large octavo volume. Pickwick Papers, 50 Nicholas Nickleby, 50 Doinbey and Son, 50 Our Mutual Friend 50 David Copperfield 50 Martin Chuzzl-wit,..., 60 Old Curiosity Shop, 50 Oliver Twist 50 American Notes, 25 H:ird Times, 25 A Talc of Two Cities, 25 Somebody's Luf»gnge, 25 Mrs. Lirriper's Lodgings, 25 Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, 25 Mugby Junction, 25 Dr. Marigold's Prescriptions,... 25 Mystery of Edwin Drood, 25 Message from the Sea, 25 Hunted Down; and Other Reprinted Pieces,.. PEOPLE'S DUODECIMO EDITION. Eleak House, 50 Little Dorrit, , 50 Christmas Stories, 60 Barnaby Rudge, 60 Sketches by " lioz," 50 (Ireat Expectations, 50 Joseidi Grimaldi 50 The Pic-Nic Papers, 50 The Haunted House, 25 Uncommercial Traveller, 25 A House to Lot, 25 Perils of Engli>h Prisoners, 25 Wreck of the Golden Mary, 25 Tom Tiddler'rf Ground, 25 Dickens' New Stories, 25 Lazy Tour of Idle Apprentices,. 25 The Holly-Tree Inn, 25 No Thoroughfare, 25 50 ILLUSTRATED. Reduced in price from $2.50 to $1.50 a volume. This edition is printed on fine paper, from large, clear type, leaded, thd all can read, containing Two Hundred Illustrations on tinted paper. Our Mutual Friend, Cloth, $1.50 Pickwick Papers, Cloth, 1.60 Nicholas Nickleby Cloth, 1.50 Great Expectations, Cloth, 1.50 David Copperfield, Cloth, 1.50 Oliver Twist, Cloth, 1.50 Bleak House, Cloth, 1.50 A Tale of Two Cities,. ..Cloth, 1.50 Little Dorrit, Cloth, $1.50 Dombey and Son, Cloth, Christmas Stories, Cloth, Sketches by " Boz," Cloth, Barnaby Ptudge, Cloth, Martin Chuzzlcwit, Cloth, Old Curiosity Shop, Cloth, Dickens' New Stories,. .Cloth, 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.60 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 2.00 2.00 Mystery of Edwin Drood; and Master Humphrey's Clock, Cloth, American Notes; and the Uncommercial Traveller, Cloth, Hunted Down ; and other Reprinted Pieces, Cloth, The Holly-Tree Inn; and other Stories, Cloth, The Life and Writings of Charles Dickens, Cloth, John Jasper's Secret. Sequel to Mystery of Edwin Drood,. ..Cloth, Price of a set, in Black cloth, in twenty-two volumes, $34.00 " « Full sheep, Library style, 45.00 « " Half calf, sprinkled edges, 56.00 « " Half calf, marbled edges, 61.00 « « Half calf, antique, or half calf, full gilt backs, etc. G6.00 Ig^ Above Books will ba seat, postage paid, on receipt of Retail ?ri«^ by T. B. Peterson k Brothers, Philadelphia, Pa. (16) CHARLES DICKENS' WORKS, Jm- GREAT BEDUCTION IN" "fHEIR PBICES. -=©81 ILLUSTRATED OCTAVO EDITION. Reduced in 2yvice from $2.50 to $1.75 a volume. This edition is jirinted from large tvpe, double column, octavo page, each book being complete in one volume, the xvhole containing near Six Hundred Illustrationa, by Gruikshank, Phiz, Browne, Maclise, and other artists. David Copperfield, Cloth, $1.75 Barnaby Rudge, Cloth, 1.V5 Martin Chuzzlewit, Cloth, 1.75 Old Curiosity Shop, Cloth, 1.75 Christmas Stories, Cloth, 1.75 Dickens' 'New Stories,... Cloth, 1.75 A Tale of Two Cities,. ..Cloth, 1.75 American Notes and Pic-Nic Papers, Cloth, 1.75 Our Mutual Friend, Cloth, $1.75 Pickwick Papers, Cloth, 1.75 Nicholas Nickleby, Cloth, 1.75 Great Expectations, Cloth, 1.75 Lamplighter's Story,.... Cloth, 1.75 Oliver Twist, Cloth, 1.75 Bleak House, Cloth, 1.75 Little Dorrit, Cloth, 1.75 Dombey and Son, Cloth, 1.75 Sketches by " Buz," Cloth, 1.75 Price of a set, in Black cloth, in eighteen volumes,...., $.'51.50 " " Full sheep, Library style, 40.00 " " Half calf, sprinkled edges, 48.00 " " Half calf, marbled edges, 54.00 " " Half calf, antique, or Half calf, full gilt backs,... 60.00 "NEW NATIONAL EDITION" OF DICKENS' WORKS. This is the cheapest bound edition of the entire works of Charles Dickens ever published, all his writings being contained in seven large octavo vol- umes, with a portrait of Charles Dickens, and other illustrations. 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Price $2.00. ^ Above books will be sent, postage paid, on receipt of Retai) Pri«ab (16) by T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia. Pa. CHARLES DICKENS' WORKS. >i^-GREAT REDUCTION IN THEIR PRICESr^ft ILLUSTRATED DUODECIMO EDITION. Reduced in price from $2.00 to $1.50 a volume. Thit edition is printed on the finest paper, from large, clear type, leaded that all can read, containing Six Hundred full page IlluHtrntions, on tinted j^^P^^'y from designs hy CruikHhunk, Phiz, Browne, Macline, McLenan, and other artists. This is the only edition puhliihed that con- tains all the original illustrations, as selected by Mr. Charles Dickens. The follotoing are each contained in two volumes. 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By Major Joseph Jones, author of '' Rancy Cot- tem's Courtship," "Major Jones's Travels," "Major Jones's Georgia Scenes," etc. Kevised and Enlarged. With Twenty-One Full Page Illus- trations on Tinted Plate Paper, by Darley and Gary. One volume, 12mo., uniform with this volume, price 75 cents. Major Jones's Travels. MAJOR JONES'S TRAVELS. Detailing his Adventures, Humorous Scenes, and Incidents, in each towa he passed through, while on his tour from Georgia to Canada. By Major Joseph Jones, author of " Major Jones's Courtship," " Rancy Cottem's Courtship," " Major Jones's Geor- gia Scenes," etc. With Eight Full Page Illustrations on Tinted Paper, by Darley. One volume, 12mo., uniform with this volume, price 75 cents. Major Jones's Georgia Scenes. MAJOR JONES'S GEORGIA SCENES. Comprising his celebrated Sketches of Georgia Scenes, with their Incidents and Cliaracters. By Major Joseph Jones, author of "Major Jones's Courtship," "Rancy Cottem's Court- ship," "Major Jones's Travels," etc. AVith Twelve Full Page Illustra- tions on Tinted Plate Paper, by Darley. One volume, 12mo., uniform with this volume, price 75 cents. Eancy Cottem's ConrtsMp. RANCY COTTEM'S COURTSHIP. With Other Humorous Stories. By Major Joseph Jones, author of " Major Jones's Courtship," " Major Jones's Travels," "Major Jones's Georgia Scenes," etc. With Eight Full Page Illustrations on Tinted Plate Paper, by Cary. One volume, 12mo., uniform with this volume, price 50 cents. }^' Above Boohs hy Major Jones, are for sale by all Boolcsellers and News Agents, or copies of any one or all of them, will be sent to a7iy one, to any place, at once, post-paid, on remitting the price of the ones wanted, to the publishers, T. B. PETERSON & BKOTIIEKS, FMladelpliia, Pa. Major Jones's Courtship WITH 21 FULL PAGE ILLUSTRATIONS. BY M^JOR JOSEPH JONES. (OF PIXEJILLE, GEOnOf tA H U II V a |g > 1 2 * By this time the galls was holt of my coat-tail, hollcrin as JiarU as thoy could." ONE VOLUME, SQUARE 12mo., PAPER COVER. PRICE 75 CENTS J(J@°" Major Jones's Courtship is for sale by all Booksellers aiid News Agents, or copies ctj it will be sent at once, post-paid, on remitting Seventij-five cents in a letter to the publishas, T. B. PETERSON & BKOTIIEKS, riiilalacey at once, per mail, post-paid, on remitting price of ones wanted to the Publishers, T. B. PETERSON & BROTHEKS, Pliiladelpliia, Fa. Major Jones's Georgia Scenes. By Author of * Major Jones's Courtship.' . i 3 : H g I t ^ , Si ^ t II t9 I 2 •§ c. « £ 2 I 2 bl ' ' Silence fellers silence t ' bawled out over a dozen at one time. When they had become somewhat ouiet yor Jonos'mlnt^d a chair,and read out in a full round tone. -"^ -fht o^ wuhout sp^^^^^^^ :'.i„ (.:» f,^™ . n.«o» Affrorfion ' tn ' Performances to commence at half-past seven precisely. — i^agc I.. whole bill, from 'Great Attraction,' to ' Performances to commence ONE VOLUME, SQUARE 12mo., PAPE R CO^ER . PRICE 75 CENTS. ^^^Major Jones's Georgia Scenes w for sale by all BookseUers and News Ageixts, or copie» will be sent at once, post-paid, on remitting Seventy-Five cents in a letter to thep^iblishcrs, T. B. PETERSON & BROTHERS, Philadelphia, Pa. ZOLA'S *NANil SEQUEL TO "L'ASSOM MOIR." Over 200,000 Copies Sold in Franc Price 75 Cents in Paper Cover, or $1.00 in Cloth. 3Sr -A. 2>T SEQUEL TO "L'ASSOMMOIR." BIT ZSIKIIImZS !Z01mM Price 75 Cents in Paper, or ^i.oo in Cloth. L'ASSOIVIiyiOIR. BY ZSIHIIalS ZOIa^ Price 75 Cents in Paper, or ^i.oo in Cloth. 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PETERSON & BROTHERS, Publishers, PhUadelphia, L, 1^':^ c 'fit: ?*s '-'cr© ^^ c>c c c <: tCC-Cc^ CJLCC ■ — c f < «~