:^ HOW TO BEHAVE AND HOW TO AMUSE. A HANDY MANUAL OF ETIQUETTE AND PARLOR GAMES. IN TWO PARTS. COMPILED BV G. H.^Sandison. ^YIH it PUBLISHED BY tPSHE aSOFtlB^ZJsJN HERALD, Louis Klopsch, Proprietor, BIBLE HOUSE, NEW YORK. v .\^ -• n^ Copyright 1895, By Louis Klopsch. Press and Bindery of HISTORICAL PUBLISHING CO.. PHILADELPHIA. PREFACE. Etiquette has been tersely defined as " the ait ©f doing the proper thing in the proper way." An acquaintance with the rules of etiquette is of the greatest service to all who are brought into contact with Society, and in these days few, if any, are wholly outside of the world of social usage and convention. In this little Manual, it is not intended to lay down, in the fullest sense, rules for the guidance of the reader in all stations of social life, but rather to furnish hints that may prove useful in dealing with those social events that are of most frequent occurrence. The etiquette of the parlor, the as- sembly chamber, the street, the social function, is something all should know, since to be ignorant concerning such matters is to class one's self as un- informed on many things that go to make up the sum total of everyday life, and to know and prac- tice which adds greatly to the pleasure of living. The well-bred man or woman is always welcomed, whereas the person who has no acquaintance with even the most ordinary social rules is quite differ- ently regarded by the majority of people. Nor is there any reason why an acquaintance with social usages should longer be confined, as in (") 12 PREFACE. the past, to certain classes. The farmer's N>y, the intelligent mechanic and the humblest clerk ot artisan, in these days of widely-diffused knowledge, may familiarize themselves with the customs and observances of polite society to an extent that will go far toward placing them on a level with those who would otherwise be regarded as their superiors. Refined manners are the boundary line between the ignorant and the cultured, and it is within the power of all to aspire to belong to that class of men and women whose presence is always agreeable, and who combine, in rare degree, that charm of manners and morals which is always allied with true nobility of character. CONTENTS. How TO Behave:. Part L Anniversaries, Wedding 53 A Young Girl's Social Life, 70 Address, Polite Terms of 68 Birthdays and Christen- ings 57 BreaJifast Parties, . . 37 Bowing and Salutation, 16 Behavior in Church, . . 66 Blushing, . , 82 Christenings and Birth- ^days, 57 Correspondence, E t i - quetteof 64 Church Weddings, . . .* 48 Cards (see Invitations), . 46 Calls and Calling Cards, 18 Church, Behavior in . . 66 Conversation, Art of . . 89 Dinner Table, How to Set the 34 Dress, Men's ...**.* 23 Debut, Young Lady's . .' 27 Dinner Parties, 30 Diners, Notes tor ... . 36 Dancing, 42 Dozing in Public, ! .' * * 78 Enjoy the Present Hour, 84 Faulty Social Training, 6Q Feet, Causes of Deformed 80 Gifts (5«e Wedding Gifts), 51 "High Teas." .... 40 Home Weddings, . . ! * 51 Hands, Beautifying the 79 Hands, Management of the 77 Hint, A Useful 92 Home Maxims, 87 Innocent and Sinful Pleasures, 73 Introductions, . ! .* i * 15 (13) Invitations, ...«,,. 40 Kettle-Drums, . . ^ X i^i inches), of heavier card-board, and the engraving larger and somewhat heavier. 20 HOW TO BEHAVE. If the surname is short, the full name may be engraved. If the names are long, and the space does not admit of their full extension, the initials of given names may be used. The former style is preferred, when practicable. In the absence of any special title properly accompanying the name — as **Rev.,'» '*Dr./' *'Col.," etc.,— ''Mr.'' is always prefixed. Good form requires this on an engraved card. If in any emergency a man writes his own name on a card he does not prefix ' ' Mr. ' ' Omit from visiting-cards all titles that signify transient ofiices, or occupations not related to social life ; using such titles only as indicate a rank or profession that is for life ; and which has become a part of the man's identity, or which is distinctly allied to his social conditions. Thus : the rank of an ofiicer in the army or the navy should be indi- cated by title on his card. His personal card is engraved thus : *' General Green "—the title in full when only the surname is used ; or, "Gen. Win- field Green," *'Gen. W. S. Smith"— the title abbreviated when the given names, or their initials, are used. Officers on the retired list, and veteran officers of the late war who rose from the volunteer ranks, retain their titles by courtesy. The official cards of political officers and ambassadors, with the title and office of the man — with or without his name — should be used only on official or State occa- sions, and during the term of office. Professional or business cards that bear ever so slight an advertisement of occupations are not allowable. The three "learned" professions, the- ology, medicine, and law, are equally ** for life," and should appear on the card. On the other hand, the callings of the clergyman and the physician respectively, are closely allied to the social side of life, closely identified with the man himself. There- fore "Rev.," or "Dr." may with propriety be considered as forming an inseparable compound CARDS FOR IvADlBS. 21 with the name. The title is an important identify- ing mark, and its omission, by the clergyman, at least, is not strictly dignified. It is not good form to use merely honorary titles on visiting-cards. In most cases, a man should lay aside all pretension to special office or rank, and appear in society simply as *' Mr. John Brown.** An engraved address implies some permanency of location. Those who are liable to frequent changes of address would better omit this addition to the visiting-card, writing the address in any emergency that requires it. No messages should be written on a man's card, and no penciling is allowed, ex- cept as above, to give (or correct) the address, or in the case of **P. P. C.** cards, sent by post Cards for I^adies. A woman's name should never appear on a visit- ing-card without either **Mrs.'* or *'Miss** pre- fixed. The exception would be in the case of women who have regularly graduated in theology or medicine. Such are entitled, like their broth- ers, to prefix **Rev.** or *'Dr.'* to their names. A married woman's card is engraved with her husband's name, with the prefix * ' Mrs. ' ' No mat- ter how ** titled" the husband may be, his titles do not appear on his wife's visiting-card. The wife of the President is not ** Mrs. President Washing- ton , * ' but * * Mrs. George Washington. * ' A widow may, if she prefers, retain the card en- graved during her husband's lifetime, unless by so doing she confuses her identity with that of some other lady whose husband is still living. It is more strictly correct for a widow to resume her own given name, and to have her card so engraved. An unmarried woman's card is engraved with her full name, or the initials of given names, as she prefers, but always with the prefix ** Miss.** The 22 HOW TO BEHAVE. address may be engraved or written in the lower right corner. If a society woman has a particular day for re- ceiving calls, that fact is announced in the lower left corner. If this is engraved, it is understood to be a fixed custom ; if written, it may be a transient arrangement. If a weekly **at home '* day is ob- served, the name of the day isengraved, as ** Tues- days.'' This means that during ** calling hours'* on any Tuesday the hostess will be found at home. A holiday, a birthday, a wedding anniversary, or other event in a friend's life may be remembered by sending a card, upon which is penciled ** Greet- ing," ** Congratulations," Best wishes," or some similar expression. Such cards may be sent alone, or may accompany gifts. Any brief message may be penciled on a woman's card, provided the message is sufficiently personal to partake of the nature of a social courtesy. But the card message should not be sent when courtesy requires a note. In strictly formal circles a young woman, during her first year in society, pays no visits alone. She accompanies her m.other or chaperon. She has no separate card, but her name is engraved, or may be written, beneath that of her mother (or chaperon) on a card employed for these joint visits. After a year or so of social experience the young woman has her separate card, subject to the general rules for ladies' cards. During the first year after marriage cards en- graved thus: **Mr. and Mrs. James Wills Gray," may be used by the couple in paying calls, or re- turning wedding civilities. Such cards are also Uv<;ed when jointly sending presents at any time. For general visiting, after the first year, husband and wife have separate cards. Cards are to be left in person in the following cases : After a first hospitality, whether accepted MEN'S DRESS. 23 or not ; calls of condolence, and afler-dinner calls by cards. In such cases, when personal card-leav- ing is impossible, the card is sent by a private messenger, and an explanation, or apology, sent by note. Cards of condolence may b2 sent by mail by friends at a distance ; but not by persons resid- ing in the near vicinity. I n cases where personal card-leaving is not imperative, cards may be sent either by messenger or by mail. Social observance allows a man to delegate the distribution of his visiting-cards to a near female relative, whenever it becomes impracticable for him to attend to the matter personally. Only the women of his own household, or a relative with whom he habitually pays visits, can thus represent him by proxy. Mean's Dre:ss. Good clothes are not alone sufficient to gain one admittance to the better circles of society, but without them admittance is impossible. When we go out into the world, it is not sufficient to do as others do, we must also dress as others dress. The man is best dressed whose dress attracts least attention. One's dress must be seasonable, appropriate, con- form to the prevailing fashion, without going in the least beyond it, and appear to be comfortable. To dress well requires sense, taste and refine- ment. Dress is a safe index of character, and few dress really well that would not be considered per- sons of culture. The golden rule is to avoid ex- tremes. The man of sense and taste never wears anything that is *'loud," flashy, or eccentric; he yields always to fashion, but is never a slave to it. One good suit of clothes does more service than two cheap suits. The low-priced suit never looks well, while the high-priced suit looks well to the 24 HOW TO BEHAVIi). last, if kept clean and occasionally pressed into shape. Linen is a test of good taste. Shirts should fit well and be of good quaUty. Let your collars always be strictly within the fashion ; cuffs should be no larger than is necessary to admit of slipping the hand through them when buttoned. Colored shirts may be worn traveling, in the country, but most men of taste prefer white. The pattern of colored shirts should be small and the color quiet. If the coat, trousers and vest of business and morn- ing suits are not made of the same cloth, the coat and vest should be of the same goods, and darker than the trousers. Men who cannot spend much money with tailors should always select dark stuffs. A dark morning suit may be worn on many occa- sions where the wearing of a light suit would be in bad taste. Single-breasted overcoats, made with a *'fly," are most worn, and most desirable. A man of taste always selects for his overcoats dark, quiet colors. His boots and shoes are made long, broad in the sole and in the shank, and with a big and only moderately high heel. Pinched toes are an abom- ination. The shoe that does not look comfortable never looks well. There are many women who wear shoes that distort the feet and are most un- comfortable ; such shoes, however, are rarely, if ever, seen on the feet of well-bred ladies. A man's hat should be fashionable, and his jew- elry should be good and simple. False jewelry is vulgar. A watch, to be thoroughly in good taste, should never be very large, nor very thick, nor elaborately chased, nor should it have a hunting- case unless his business or pleasure renders him liable to break a crystal, when he is out of the easy reach of a jeweler to replace it. The watch chain should always be small and the pattern plain. In- deed, the young man who wears a big elaborate MEN'S DRESS. 25 chain and attaches it in one of the lower button- holes of his vest has made an egregious blunder. Watch chains that go around the neck are no longer worn. The vest chain should be attached nearly as high up as it will reach, in a button-hole. If a locket or seal is worn, it should be very plain. A man's ring should be on the third finger of the left hand. All kinds of rings are worn by men except cluster nngs; they arti worn by women only. Scarf-nngs and collar-buttons with settings are in doubtful taste. Diamond studs are now very little worn by men of the better sort, and they never wearthem except with full evening dress. Three studs in a dress shirt are to be preferred to one. Imitation diamonds are the extreme of vulgarity. Nowadays, with few exceptions, men wear the hair very short, and the exceptions are not found among men of taste. The most artistic and becom- ing cut is that that trims the hair very short on the sides and back of the head, and leaves it compara- tively long on the top, for the reason that a high head is always more pleasing than a low, broad one. The * ' parting » » should be high up— in the middle, If cne chooses to put it there. Pomatums and other inventions of the barbers are no longer used. Most men look best with a full beard, if it is kept prop- eriy trimmed and is well cared for. A man with a beard that reaches down over his chest, or a moustache so long as to be in his way, is a disgust- ing object to look on. If a man shaves a part of the face only, he should shave that part that is most prominent. A man with a prominent chin and thm cheeks should shave his chin and let his beard grow on the sides of his face ; on the other hand a man with a retreating or a light chin and tuU cheeks should shave his cheeks and let his beard grow on his chin. In short, the beard should bejK) trimmed, if worn full, or so cut, if only a pa** is worn, as to give regularity to the outline of 26 HOW TO BBHAVK. the face. Every man, no matter who he is, should learn to shave himself quickly and well. Shaving should be as much a part of the regular morning toilet as the brushing of the hair. Much depends on having a good strap and knowing how to use it The finger nails should be kept moderately long, and be so cut that they are a little more pointed than the upper ends of the nails are. They should not be scraped, and in cutting, care should be taken not to encroach too much on the angles. Canes should be strong, plain, stiff, light and small. Very big canes are in very bad taste, especially for young men. A full-dress suit consists of a swallow-tailed coat, a low, white or black single-breasted vest, black trousers, a white necktie, a stand-up collar, a high black hat, and a pair of light kid gloves. This dress should never be worn until evening, and never before the dinner hour. A white necktie should not be worn except with a full-dress suit, save by clergymen and a few elderly men who never wear any other color. Black trousers should not be worn except with a dress coat, save at funerals. A high hat should not be worn with a sack coat, A low hat should not be worn with a long coat — a double-breasted frock, for example. Dark suits are preferable for Sundays, especially in town, and light suits should never be worn to church any- where. Double-breasted frock coats should always be black. At small informal gatherings most men regard themselves as sufficiently dressed when they wear black frock coats and dark trousers. At public en- tertainments where ladies wear bonnets, the man who wears a black frock coat, dark trousers, and light kid gloves is better dressed — ^because more appropriately — than he that wears a full-dress suit. No man who has any regard for the proprieties will ever appear at table, even at home, whether A YOUNG IvADY'S DEBUT, 27 there are strangers present or not, or will show himself to any one with whom he is not on a famil- iar footing, in his shirt-sleeves. A Young Lady^s De;but. Social custom, both here and in Europe, has fixed the time for a girl's formal introduction to society as between the ages of seventeen and twenty. Abroad, the daughter's debut means much more than with ourselves, and the launching of a clever and prepossessing young girl into the fitful sea of social life is quite an important function. The mother invites only suitable people to her house, where she may present her daughter to them as a member of their circle. This act conveys the information to the polite world that the young lady has been graduated in all the accomplishments and knowledge necessary as the equipment of a woman of society. Just previous to her formal presentation or d^but, her mother and her elder unmarried sisters — if any — pay visits, or at least leave their own with their fathers' and brothers' cards, upon all acquaintances whom they intend to invite to be present at the d^but. Engraved invitations follow this formality, and they are issued about ten days previous to the event. If they are sent by mail, an extra outer envelope incloses all the invitations that are di- rected to one family. If delivered by messenger, the outer wrap is no longer used. The mail has become as suitable a method as any for conveying social messages. One envelope is directed to Mr. and Mrs. A. If there are more daughters than one, the address is, * * Misses A. , " or, if preferred, * * The Misses A. ' ' Each son receives a separate invitation ; it is the custom. Replies are sent in the names of the parties addressed on the envelopes. The invi- tation is engraved in script, or, if crest or cipher 28 HOW TO BKHAVK. be used, it may be placed on the envelope, and is in form similar to that used forparties* CardshavQ been used on which the special purpose : pf -tjhe party is stated, with the name of the young lady who is to make her ddbut engraved upon them ; but this is seldom done, and is not considered in the best possible taste. The following is the formula if such a card is used : MR. AND MRS. B. N. JONES request the pleasure of presenting their eldest loT second y etc. ,^ daughter y Miss Ada Anna, to on Wednesday evening ^ April ii^ at half- past eight d* clock. No. 2002 Fifth Avenue. A preferable method is simply to inclose the card of the young lady in the envelope containing the invitation. The reply is written and forwarded directly, and •corresponds in style to the invitation, in the follow- ing manner: MR. AND MRS. B. DB PBYSTBR accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. B. N. Jone;s* kind invitation for Wednesday evening^ April nth. No. 969 Irving Place. March 12th. A YOUNG IvADY'S DEBUlr. 29 The yoiing ladies use the same form, and com- mence their note with ** The Misses Jones,'* or in whatever style the invitation is sent to them. Young gentlemen follow the same custom. Intimate friends may seiid flowers on the day of the young girl's first appearance, if they please; but it is ^ot an in- flexible custom. The young lady stands at the left of the mother during the reception of guests, and is presented to her elders and to ladies. Of course, welcomes and brief congratulatory compliments are offered to her by each guest, and then place is made for the pre- sentation of others who are arriving. When supper is announced, the brother or father escorts the young lady to the table, and the mother follows,, accompanied by some honored gentleman guest. If the brother takes the young lady in, the father leads the way with the eldest or most distinguished lady of the party. Visits of ceremony paid to the hostess following this entertainment should include this young lady, but during her first season in society she has no card of her own, and does not pay formal visits alone. If she be the eldest unwed daughter, her name is engraved as Miss Jones, beneath that of her mother. If she have elder sisters at home, her name is engraved as Miss Ada Anna Jones. During this first season she does not receive visits from gentlemen without a chaperon under any circum- stances. If her mother be unable to receive with her, she politely declines a visit. After the first season, her own separate card may be left, either alone or with those of othermembers of her family. This formality past, she may be considered launched into the world of social intercourse. Young gentlemen on the other hand, enter so* ciety without formality, and without much diffi- culty. A youth usually begins by endeavoring to» assist his mother at her entertainments, and by 30 HOW TO BBHAVB. being an escort to his sisters on informal evening^ visits among lady acquaintances where his agree- able traits win him a future invitation. Dinner Parties. Next to a wedding, there is probably no social duty that taxes to a larger extent the cleverness and originality of the mistress of a modern household than a fashionable dinner. As a preliminary step to such an event, she is careful to catalogue all the names of those to whom she desires to extend the hospitalities of her house. From all these she selects and groups those who will affect each other pleasantly. The differences in social conditions often go far toward deciding upon the groups, and the combinations of guests may be based upon tnental accomplishments, or family connection. In either case the etiquette is the same. To give a dinner in honor of some person, or ** to meet ' * a particular party, as the invitation should explain (provided the guest be not well-known and famous), has an especial advantage in that it settles who shall, and who need not, be present. This is a simple method of disposing of our first difficulty when issuing invitations. In such a case the card of invitation should be in the usual form with the addition of an extra card as follows: TO MEET MR. ARTHUR MAYNB, Of New Mexico. thus intimating that the dinner is to be given in his honor. The regular invitation should always be given in the name of the host or hostess, thus: DINNER PARTIES. 3s Mr. and Mrs. Ci^arence Fitch request the pleasure of company at dinner^ on at seven o"* clock. No. 94 Florida Avenue. The custom of engraving the initials, R. S. V. P. (Answer, it you please), on the lower left-hand cor- ner is less followed than formerly. Another and also quite proper form, when the dinner is given in honor of some distinguished person, is to issue an invitation in this style: MR. AND MRS. CIvARENCB FITCH request the pleasure of MR. AND MRS. ROBERT HENDERSON'S company at dinner^ on Tuesday^ January i2th^ at seven o'clock^ to meet the HON. MR. AND MRS. GREGORY. No. 94 Florida Avenue. The form used in writing an immediate reply is s follows: MR. AND MRS. ROBERT HENDERSON accept with pleasure. MR. AND MRS. CI.ARENCE FlTCH*S invitation to dinner^ at seven o'clock^ Tues- day evenings January 12, 32 HOW TO be;havb. If unable to come, the refusal should be worded in a manner expressive of disappointment. Th4 fol- lowing is the popular style: | Mr. and Mrs. Robe:rt Henderson ; regret that a previous engagement [or illness, or an unfortunate event] prevents the acceptance of MR. AND MRS. CI^AR^NC:^ FITCH'S invitation for Tuesday evening, fanuary 12. The answer, whether affirmative or negative, should be addressed to the mistress of the house, arid dispatched, if possible, within twenty- four hours of the receipt of the invitation. Having ac- cepted an invitation, be punctual. **To be .too late is a crime, and to be too early a blunder.** You should not fail to arrive within a very few minutes after the time named, say within five, or ten at most. Well-bred people, and people that dine out frequently, make a point of arriving in good time. It is not well, however, to arrive before the hour named. On entering the drawing-room, go and pay your respects to the hostess, then to the other members of the family, and finally to any acquaintances present. Do not offer your hand either to hostess, host, or to any member of jthe family; any offer to shake hands should come fipm them. On leaving, offer your hand, if you chodse, to those of your entertainers that offered their hands to you when you arrived. But it is well to confine your leave-taking to the hostess and host. Do hot go the rounds and take leave of the whole com- pany individually; such a course is vulgar. If you DINNER PARTIES. 33 have a lady with you, do not enter the drawing- room arm in arm nor side by side. The lady, or ladies will enter slightly in advance. Gentlemen do not wear gloves at dinner-parties. Dinner being announced, the hostess gives the signal to leave the drawing-room. The host or the hostess choose partners for their guests. Offer either arm to the lady. In entering at doors a gentleman takes the lead, until reaching the dining-room, when he may let the lady pass first. If there are steps, you may allow the lady to pass first, or you may go a step or two in advance. If you go down side by side, give her the side next the wall. In the dining-room, assist the lady to be seated, and wait till the other ladies are in place before taking your seat. The host remains standing until all are seated. He also selects the places for his guests. Sit erect and close to the table. Unfold your napkin and spread it over your lap, or over one knee, as you prefer. Before being served and during the intervals between the courses, do not toy with the knives, forks, or spoons, or with anything on the table. As soon as helped, begin to eat, but not hastily. Do not wait till your neighbors are served. Dinners usually begin with a soup. This, you should sip from the side of the spoon, without noise. Not only soup, but everything else eaten with a spoon should be sipped from its side when practicable. The plate should never be tilted to get the last teaspoonful. If the soup is too hot, do not blow it, but wait till it cools. In eating it sit upright, and do not rest your forearms on the table. Fish is eaten with a bit of bread in the left hand and a fork in the right. Neither soup nor fish is ever offered twice at a formal dinner. As the fork is now used almost exclusively to convey all kinds of food that have any consistency to the mouth, it is very desirable that one should know how to use it properly. It should not be used 34 HOW TO BEHAVE. in the left hand with the tines pointing upwari Food conveyed to the mouth with the fork in the left hand should be taken up either on the point of the tines, or on their convex side. In the right hand, the fork may be used with the tines pointing uj)ward or downward, at will. It need hardly be said that eating with the knife is a social offence not to be overlooked. Eat peas with a dessert spoon, and curry also. Asparagus may be handled with the fingers of the left hand; also Saratoga potatoes and olives. Green com should be cut from the cob and then eaten with a fork. Cheese is eaten with a fork, or is placed, with a knife, on bits of bread and carried to the mouth with the thumb and finger. Pies and pdtiSy as a rule, are eaten with a fork only. Some- times it may be necessary to use a knife to divide the crust How TO Set th^ Dinner Tabi,^ There is no pleasanter sight than an artistically set dinner table just before the guests are seatea and the repast is served. To set it is, indeed, an art of itself. It should first be covered with a mat of double-faced cotton flannel wide enough to fall several inches below the edge, all around. This greatly improves the appearance of the table-cloth, which can be laid much more smoothly over this soft foundation. Small table mats for the purpose of protecting the cloth are not fashionable at pres- ent. The table-cloth should fall about half way to the floor all around. For a square or extra wide table a large floral centre-piece, either round or oblong, is usually chosen, with endless varieties in its component arrangement. It may be low and flat, like a floral mat, in the middle of the table, or may be lofty. Small fringed napkins of differ- ent colors are used with a dessert of fruits. Napkin THE WINE QUESTION. 35 rings are discarded by many hosts. Fancy doy- lies of fine linen embroidered with silk are some- times brought in with the finger-bowls; but these are not for utility, the dinner napkin doing service, while the embroidered doyly adds a dainty bit of effect to the table decoration. Good quality of chinaware and artistic glassware are also essentiaL Any ostentation in the use of plated ware is vulgar. But one may take a pride and satisfaction in the possession of solid silver. Every ambitious house- keeper will devise ways of securing, little by little, if not all at once, a neat collection of solid spoons and forks. After the floral decorations and possibly a centre- piece of pond lilies or other flowers have been put in place, with fruits and bonbons to balance the flowers, and here and there at convenient points cut glass decanters of fresh sparkling water, the next step is the laying of the covers. The courses in their order are soup, fish, entrees (served on hot plates), roast (which is carved at the side table), and game fif in season). The heavy courses end, the table is swept for crumbs and dessert is brought in. Finger-bowls and doylies are brought in on the dessert-plates. Each person at once re- moves the bowl and doyly to make ready for what- ever is to be put on the plate. Strong coffee is served last of all, in small cups, fashion directing that cafk noir or black French coffee be used. Th^ Win^ Quejstion. The wine question is one that disturbs many a dinner-giving family. Shall wine be served or not» is a growing problem. Society has at last reached the point where it is not considered a breach of good form to serve a dinner without wine. Such a course is sanctioned by the example of many high social leaders; and when it is the result of a 36 HOW TO BEHAVE. temperance principle it has the respect of every diner-out. No lady or gentleman will find fault with the absence of wine at his host's table. It is good form for a host to serve or not serve wine, just as he chooses. Apollinaris can be made to take the place of stronger waters, and no embarrassment follow. The hostess who simply does not offer wine to any guest under any circumstances, is using her influence effectively and courageously in the cause of temperance and in support of Christian principles. Notes for Diners. . At a dinner served in courses, it is better, as a rule, not to take a second supply of anything. It might delay the dinner. Bread should be broken, not cut in small pieces. To butter a large piece of bread and then bite it, as children do, is something the well-bred never do. In eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers. Never gCvSticulate with your knife or fork in your hand, nor hold them pointing upward, keep them down on your plate. A gentleman wears a dress suit at dinner. A lady wears a handsome gown, *' dinner dress" being ** full dress; " differing, however, from the evening party or reception gown in the kind of fabrics used. Gloves are removed by both ladies and gentle- men, after being seated at the table, and they need not be replaced again during the evening. Never load tip your fork with food until you are ready to convey it to your mouth. Never send your knife and fork,- or either of them, on your plate when you send for a second supply. Do not hold them meanwhile in your hand, but lay them down, with something under them — a piece of bread, for example— to protect the table-cloth. BREAKFASTS, IvUNCHEONS, ETC. 37 Don't use a steel knife to cut fruit if there is a silver one. Don't hold your elbows out; keep them close to your sides. When you eat fruit that has a pit or a skin that is not to be swallowed, the pit and skin must be re- moved from the mouth with the fingers of the left hand, or with a spoon or fork in the right. Tea, coffee, chocolate, etc., are drunk from the cup and never from the saucer. Never blow your tea or coffee; wait till it cools. Don't tip your chair, nor lounge back in it, nor hitch up your sleeves, nor call ''Waiter ! " nor try to talk with a full .mouth, nor masticate so loudly that others can hear you, nor lay bones or bits Of fruit on the table-cloth, nor pick your teeth at table. If you must do the last-mentioned, do it un- observed, if possible. Should you unfortunately overturn or break anything, make no apology, but let your regret appear in your face. Never fold your napkin where you are invited for one meal only, but lay it loosely on the table. When the ladies withdraw from the table, the gentlemen rise. Remain in the drawing room at least half an hour after dinner before bidding host and hostess good-by. Breaki^asts, IvUnchkons, Tkas and Suppers. These, and all similar entertainments of the "At Home ' * order, are much less formal than the din- ner event. The breakfast invitation should read in the customary form, and at the right hand lower corner the words: *' Breakfast at ten o'clock, March 15." This breakfast should not be elaborate, but dainty in its food and appointments. The best of every- thing, prepared in the choicest of styles, but 38 HOW TO BEHAVE. nothing heavy, nor excessive in quantity, should be prepared. Walking costumes are worn by both gentlemen and ladies, also visiting-gloves, which are removed at table. The descent from the dress- ing-room and greetings between the hostess and guest are just the same as at a dinner-party. Suppers are usually gentlemen parties; and from nine to ten o'clock is the usual time for them to be served. There are game suppers, fish suppers, and several other kinds of suppers, each one of which diflfers in the appropriate supplies for the table. But the formalities of the occasion, or, rather, the informalities, are all of the same kind. The invitations may be made at interviews, by friendly notes, or by the host's visiting-card, with this, written upon it : SUPPER AT TKN O'CI^OCK, Thursday y September i6. If it is a fish supper, only little food except that which once lived in the water is provided; salads and fruits, without a sweet dessert, complete it, with the addition of coffee. It was surely a gracious social benefactor who intro- duced the afternoon reception which, between the hours of four and six, summons a host of friends to cross one's threshold and meet informally, over a social cup of tea, each group giving place to others, none crowding, jail at ease, every one accorded a gracious welcome from the hostess, who thus has tacitly placed each guest on her evening list for the season. The afternoon reception is much the same, whether it be a tea merely, or a musicale, or a literary occasion. Conversation and the chat of society, the greeting of friends, the tea and its pleasant accesso- ries, fill a half-hour or so very pleasantly. When a musicale is given, it is usually in honor of some favorite amateur, a pianist, singer or reader. Under IvUNCHEONS. 39 guch conditions the invitation cards should be a little more explicit, and may state ** Music at 4," or whatever the feature of the reception or sociable may be. Tea is served in the same room, when the guests are few, and in another room if the recep- tion be crowded. Usually a single table is set, with coflfee or chocolate at one end, and tea at the other, served by young ladies. To be invited to preside at the coffee-urn, or tea-kettle, is accounted a high compliment. The refreshments may be very thin slices of bread and butter, or wafers, or similar trifles; but if the occasion approaches the nature of a formal reception a more elaborate preparation is made, and bouillon, oysters, salads, ice-cream and cakes, delicate rolls and bonbons may be offered, Luncheons. These are not as popular here as abroad, and the informal lunch is not yet fully appreciated in this country. In rural districts it is called early dinner, or ladies' dinner; in the city, when the gentlemen are all down town, it becomes the elaborate ladies* lunch. The invitations to luncheon are similar to those of a tea or reception, but the affair itself is even less formal. All the dishes should be light Broiled fish, broiled chicken, broiled ham, broiled steaks and chops, are always satisfactory. The house-keeper living near the sea has an ample store to choose from. The fresh fish, the roast clams, etc., take the place of the deviled kidneys and broiled bones of the winter; but every housewife should study the markets of her neighborhood. Thk Ke'TTlE-Drum. This is simply a reception under another name, which is given to signify that the entertainment is not so pretentious as a formal reception. The name 40 HOW TO BKHAVB. "kettle-drum '* signifies to a metropolitan resi- dent, a light entertainment, with deini-toilette for both ladies and gentlemen. Sometimes a tiny drum is beaten at intervals in the vicinity of the tea-table, where a lady of the household or a friend presides. Sometimes a young lady, costumed pret- tily as a vivandiere sits or stands by the tea-urn as its presiding genius; but these picturesque additions to an ordinary afternoon reception are not to be considered in the light of customs, but simply as pretty caprices, calculated to ^wo. vivacity to the entertainment, which any lady may adopt. Not a few leaders in society choose the *' kettle-drum " because they dislike general gatherings, or are too absorbed to assist in entertaining evening guests. It is simply an ** at home ** in the daytime, or a social Tnatinee, **HlGH T^AS.'* The ** High Tea,'* as its name indicates, is a more formal and pretentious entertainment than the or- dinary afternoon tea. Special cards are engraved, and if any special entertainment is provided, the fact may be indicated by the words, '* Music,'* or ** Miscellaneous Program" (when readings and music are interspersed). Or, the announcement may be omitted, and the program furnish a pleas- ant surprise for the guests. The card for a **musicale'* or similar occasion, is simply engraved: Mrs. John Jkroi^omon AT HOM^ Friday^ October ii^ from four to seven o^ clock. 1269 Seventeenth Street. RECEPTIONS. -^i For a party or reception given in honor of another, the invitations should be engraved with a blank space left for the name of the invited guest; or, the form may be filled out, and the name of the guest appear on the envelope only. It may read: Mr. AND Mrs. request the Andrew Wytjk pleasure of »c wmpany on Tuesday evenings June sixths at nine o'clock^ to meet HON. W. W. BRACE. R. 5. V. p. 64 lyark Street. or, the wording may be ** request the pleasure of your company, * ' etc. The same form of invitation can be adapted to almost any reception, party or other social entertainment, with such variations as^ suit the circumstances. If a series of receptions^ are to be given, the lower line on the left of the card may be simply: Wednesdays in December, frofu three to seven o'' clock. 42 HOW TO BEHAVE. Dancing. There is no phase of social life that contains so much of hidden peril as that which relates to dancing. Of itself, there is nothing sinful in dancing; but its associations and temptations, and the tendencies of modern dancing to frivolity, un- healthful dissipation and immorality are so obvious as to need no enumeration here. It is a positive detriment to the spiritual growth of young men and women, and is prolific of promiscuous acquaint- anceships that cannot be claimed to be safe or de- sirable for any young person having a serious object in life. The ball-room has to many thou- sands proved the first step to perdition. Of dancing, the Rev. Dr. Talmage has said: *' It is the graceful motion of the body adjusted by art to the sound and measures of musical instru- ment or of the human voice. All nations have danced. The ancients thought that Castor and Pollux taught the art to the Lacedsemonians. But whoever started it, all climes have adopted it. In ancient times they had the festal dance, the mili- tary dance, the mediatorial dance, the bacchanalian dance, and queens and lords swayed to and fro in the gardens, and the rough backwoodsman with this exercise awakened the echo of the forest. There is something in the sound of lively music to evoke the movement of the hand and foot, whether cultured or uncultured. Passing down the street we unconsciously keep step to the sound of the brass band, while the Christian in church with his foot beats time while his soul rises upon some great harmony. While this is so in civilized lands, the red men of the forest have their scalp dances, their green-corn dances, their war dances. ** The exercise was so utterly and completely de- praved in ancient times that the church anathema- DANCING. 43 tized it The old Christian fathers expressed them- selves most vehemently against it. St. Chrysostojtn says: * The feet were not given for dancing but to walk modestly, not to leap impudently like camels.' One of the dogmas of the ancient church reads: *A dance is the devil's possession, and he that entereth into a dance entereth into his possession. As many paces as a man makes in dancing, so many paces does he make to hell. ' Elsewhere the old dogmas declared this: * The woman that singeth in the dance is the princess of the devil, and those that answer are her clerks, and the beholders are his friends, and the music is his bellows, and the fid- dlers are the ministers of the devil. For as when hogs are strayed, if the hogsherd call one all assem- ble together, so when the devil calleth one woman to sing in the dance, or to play on some musical instrument, presently all the dancers gather to- gether.* This indiscriminate and universal denun- ciation of the exercise came from the fact that it was utterly and completely depraved. ** How many people in America have stepped from the ball-room into the graveyard ! Consumptions and swift neuralgias are close on their track. Amid many of the glittering scenes of social life in America diseases stand right and left and balance and chain. The breath of the sepulchre floats up through the perfume, and the froth of Death's lip bubbles up in the champagne. ** It is the anniversary of Herod*s birthday. The palace is lighted. The highways leading thereto are all ablaze with the pomp of Invited guests. I/>rds, captains, merchant princes, the mighty men of the land, are coming to mingle in the festivities. The table is spread with all the luxuries that royal purveyors can gather. The guests, white-robed and anointed and perfumed, come in and sit at the table. Music ! The jests evoke roars of laughter. Riddles are propounded. Repartee is indulged. 44 HOW TO BEHAVE. Toasts are drank. The brain is befogged. The wit rolls on into uproar and blasphemy. They are not satisfied yet. Turn on more light. Pour out more wine. Music ! Sound all the trumpets. Clear the floor for a dance. Bring in Salome, the beautiful and accomplished princess. The door opens, and in bounds the dancer. The lords are enchanted. Stand back and make room for the brilliant gyra- tions. These men never saw such * poetry of mo- tion. * Their souls whirl in the reel and bound with the bounding feet. Herod forgets crown and throne and everything but the fascinations of Salome. All the magniiicence of his realm is as nothing now compared with the splendor that whirls on tiptoe before him. His body sways from side to side, cor- responding witn the motions of the enchantress. His soul is thrilled with the pulsations of the feet and bewitched with the taking postures and atti- tudes more and more amazing. After awhile he sits in enchanted silence looking at the flashing, leaping, bounding beauty, and as the dance closes and the tinkling cymbals cease to clap and the thunders of applause that shook the palace begin to abate, the enchanted monarch swears to the princely performer: * Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me I will give it thee, to the half of my kingdom.* At the instigation of her mother, Salome takes ad- vantage of the extravagant promise of the king and says, * Bring me the head of John the Baptist on a dinner plate. * Hark to the sound of feet out- side the door and the clatter of swords. The exe- cutioners are returning from their awful errand. Open the door. They enter, and they present the platter to Salome. What is on this platter ? A new glass of wine to continue the uproarious merri- ment? No. Something redder and costlier — the ghastly, bleeding head of John the Baptist, the death glare still in the eye, the locks dabbled with the gore, the features still distressed with the last DANCING. 45 agony. This woman, who had whirled so grace- fully in the dance, bends over the awful burden without a shudder. * ' In my parish of Philadelphia there was a young woman brilliant as a spring morning. She gave her life to the world. She would come to religious meetings and under conviction would for a little while begin to pray, and then would rush off again into the discipleship of the world. She had all the world could offer of brilliant social position. One day a flushed and excited messenger asked me to hasten to her house for she was dying. I entered the room. There were the physicians, there was the mother, there lay this disciple of the world. I asked her some questions in regard to the soul. She made no answer. I knelt down to pray. I rose again, and desiring to get some expression in regard to her eternal interests, I said: * Have you any hope ? * and then for the first her lips moved in a whisper as she said: * No hope ! * Then she died. The world, she served it, and the world helped her not in the last. ** With many life is a masquerade ball, and as at such entertainments gentlemen and ladies put on the garb of kings and queens or mountebanks or clowns and at the close put off the disguise, so a great many pass their whole life in a mask, taking ofiF the mask at death. While the masquerade ball of life goes on, they trip merrily over the floor, gemmed hand is stretched to gemmed hand, gleam- ing brow bends to gleaming brow. On with the dance ! Flush and rustle and laughter of im- measurable merry-making. But after awhile the languor of death comes on the limbs and blurs the eye-sight. Lights lower. Floor hollow with sepulchral echo. Music saddened into a wail. Lights lower. Now the maskers are only seen in the dim light. Now the fragrance of the flowers is like the sickening odor that comes from garlands that have 46 HOW TO BEHAVE. lain long in the vaults of cemeteries. Lights lower. Mists gather in the room. Glasses shake as though quaked by sullen thunder. Sigh caught in the curtain. Scarf drops from the shoulder of beauty a shroud. Lights lower. Over the slippery boards in dance of death gUde jealousies, envies, revenges, lust, despair, and death. Stench of lamp-wicks almost extinguished. Torn garlands will not half cover the ulcerated feet. Choking damps. Chilli- ness. Feet still. Hands closed. Voices hushed. Eyes shut. Lights out. ' ' The dance must be classed with the wine-cup as the insidious enemy of a pure, upright, wholesome society. Pleasant and fascinating at first, it lures its victims to sacrifice after sacrifice until the end is reached. No man or woman was ever benefited morally, intellectually or physically by the dance ; thousands and tens of thousands have found it their bane, and date their ruin from the first step they danced to the music across the floor of a lighted ball-room. Wedding Etiquette. Invitations. Socially considered, marriage is the most impor- tant and imposing of all functions. It gives oppor- tunity for the greatest display, the most elegant toilets, and the most lavish and superb manner of entertainment. Yet singularly enough, the etiquette of weddings is probably more variable and subject to innovation than that of any other event in the social calendar. At no two grand weddings is the etiquette precisely the same. Wedding invitations according to present custom are consigned to the post from two to three weeks preceding the date of the event. Those sent to friends and relatives abroad are sent quite three WEDDING ETIQUETTE. 47 weeks earlier. A representative invitation is given below: Mr. and Mrs. Chari^es F. Browne request the honor of your presence ai the marriage of their daughter^ EVA MADGE, to MR. SAMUKI* MARTIN HOPE, on Wednesday ^fune the twenty-first^ at twelve o'* clocks in The Church of the Pilgrims. This is engraved in round-hand script, without flourish and with little shading, and a tendency toward the medium and the small in size. The lines are rather close together, allowing consider- able margin at top and bottom of the note. The paper most preferred has a white dull kid and parch- ment finish, in size between octavo and billet. When folded it fits an envelope that is almost square and which oflfers a choice of either a pointed or square flap. In town the pointed flap is consid- ered the proper thing while the country favors the square one. The envelope inclosing the note is without gum and of the same weight as the inclosure, while the outer one, intended as a carrier only, is of lighter quality and gummed for sealing. Wedding invitations require no answer. But peo- ple living at a distance, who cannot attend the wed- ding, should send their cards by mail, to assure the hosts that the invitation has been received. 48 HOW TO BKHAVB, The usual form of invitation for a wedding recep- tion is as follows : Al Home After the Ceremony^ 7 East Market Street — This is enclosed, with the cards of the young- bride and of her intended husband, to the favored ones only. People with a large acquaintance cannot always invite all their friends to a wedding reception^ and therefore invite all to the church. Sometimes people who are to give a small wedding at home request an answer to the wedding invitation; in that case, of course, an answer should be sent, and people should be very careful not to ignore these flattering invitations. Any carelessness is inexcu^ able when so important an event is in view. Brides- maids, if prevented by illness or sudden bereavement from officiating, should notify the bride as soon as possible, as it is a difficult thing after a bridal pro- gram is arranged to reorganize it. Church Weddings. We have gradually adopted feature by feature of the English style of wedding m America until to- day the general order followed in both countries may be said, in all essential particulars, to be identical. The bridegroom is dressed in a frock-coat and light trousers of any good pattern; in other words, he wears a formal morning dress, drives to the church with his best man, and awaits the arrival of the bride in the vestry-room. He may wear gloves or not as he chooses. The best man is the intimate friend, sometimes the brother, of the groom. He WEDDING ETIQUETTE. 49 accompanies him to the church, follows him to the altar, stands at his right hand a little behind him, and holds his hat during the marriage-service. After that is ended he pays the minister's fee, ac- companies the bridal party home, being in a coup6 by himself, and assists the ushers to introduce friends to the newly wedded pair. The bridegroom is allowed to make what presents he pleases to the bride, and to send some gift, such as a fan, locket, ring or bouquet, to the bridesmaids; he also buys the wedding-ring, and, of course, sends a bouquet to the bride; but he is not to furnish cards or carriages or the wedding breakfast; that is done by the bride's family. In England the groom is expected to drive the bride away in his own carriage, but in America this custom is not often followed. The bride, beautifully dressed usually in white satin, with point lace veil and orange blossoms, is driven to the church in a carriage with her father, who gives her away. Her mother and other rela- tives precede her and take front seats; her brides- maids should also precede her, and await her in the chancel. The ushers then form the procession with which almost all city weddings are begun. The ushers first, two and two; then the bridesmaids, two and two; then some pretty children — brides- maids under ten; and then the bride, leaning on her father' s right arm. Sometimes the child brides- maids precede the others. As the procession reaches the lowest altar step the ushers break ranks and go to the right and left and the bridesmaids also go to right and left, leaving a space for the bridal pair. As the bride reaches the lowest step the bridegroom advances, takes her by the right hand, and conducts her to the altar, where both kneel. The clergyman signifies to them when to rise, and then proceeds with the ceremony. The bridal pair walk down the aisle arm-in-arm, and are conducted to the carriage and driven home, the rest following. 50 HOW TO BBHAVE. In some cases, a bridal register is signed in the vestry. Formerly brides removed the whole of the left glove; now they neatly cut the finger out of the glove, so that they can remove that without pulling oiF the whole glove for the ring. In a marriage at home, the bridesmaids and best man are usual' v dispensed with. The clergyman enters and faces the company, the bridal pair fol- low and face him. After the ceremony the clergy- man retires, and the wedded pair receive congratula- tions. Wedding Breakfasts. The English fashion of a wedding breakfast is not common here yet, but it is well to describe the proper etiquette. The gentlemen and ladies invit- ed should be notified a fortnight in advance, and should accept or decline immediately, as it has all the formality of a dinner. On arriving at the bouse the gentlemen leave their hats in the hall, but ladies do not remove their bonnets. After greeting the bride and groom and the father and mother, the company talk together until breakfast is announced. Then the bride and groom go first, followed by bride's father with groom's mother, then groom's father with bride's mother, then best man with first bridesmaid, then bridesmaids with attendant gentlemen, and then the other invited guests, as the bride's mother arranges. Coffee and tea are not usually offered, but bouillon, salads, birds, oysters, and other hot and cold dishes, ices, jellies, etc. , are served at this breakfast, and finally the wed- ding-cake is set before the bride, who cuts a slice. ** Stand-up '* breakfasts are far more commonly served, as the French say, en buffet. More guests can come and it is far less trouble to serve a collation to a number of people standing about than to furnish what is really a dinner to a number sitting down. WEDDING BTIQUKTTB. 51 HOM^ Wkddings and Privatk Weddings. If the marriage is to be solemnized at home, the date follows the names in succession, and the place of residence is given last. The invitation may vary, **the wedding reception of their daughter,'* etc. Or, accompanying the church wedding invitation may be a square card bearing the lines: ** Reception from half-past seven until nine o'clock,'* with place of residence on the line below. If the ceremony is private, the immediate family and chosen friends are invited verbally. It is then optional whether or not a formal announcement shall be made to a wider circle of friends by send- ing out engraved cards the day after the ceremony. These are, like the invitations, printed on note sheets. The private wedding and after announce- ment is often the most suitable method when a bride is comparatively alone in the world, or has no near reladves. In such a case the announcement is worded: ** Mr. Walter Edward Brown and Miss Anna Childers Wilson married; Wednesday, October twentieth, 619 Grace St. " If no other place is given this is understood to be the place where to address cards of congratulation. If the young couple are to receive later, in a new home, that address, with date of the **at home," is also given, thus, **At home, after November fifteenth, 6417 Ocean Ave.'* If the change of residence is to another town, the name of the town is also given. Wedding Gii^ts and Other Gii^s. There are probably few matters that are the occasion of more troublesome study and vexation of spirit than the selection of wedding presents. They should in all cases be chosen with due reference to the circumstances of the bride. For the daughter of wealthy parents, who marries a man of large means, rare and costly articles are suitable wedding 52 HOW TO BEHAVE. gifts. For a bride who is going to honsekeeping on a moderate income, articles that are useful as well as beautiful are appropriate. A handsome chair, a china cabinet, or some china to put in it, a few standard books, fine table linen, or one of the many other things within the range of house-furnishing are acceptable. Presents devised and made by the ingenuity and labor of the giver — ^hand-painted screens or china, embroidered work, or a painting or etching — are specially complimentary gifts. A man should not make valuable presents to a lady outside of his own family, unless she is very much his senior, and a friend of long standing. A lady should not accept valuable gifts from a gentle- man unless his relationship to her warrants it Tri- fling tokens of friendship or gallantry — a book, a bouquet, or a basket of bon-bons — are not amiss; but a lady should not be under obligation to a man for presents that plainly represent a considerable money value. When a gift is accepted, the re- cipient should not make too obvious haste to return the compliment, lest he or she seem unwilling to rest under obligation. To refuse all trifling favors is regarded as rudeness. It is often the greatest wisdom as well as kindness, to allow some one to do us a favor. When some well-meaning person innocently offers a gift that strict conventionality would forbid one to accept, it is sometimes better to suspend the rules and accept the token, than to hurt the feel- ings by refusal. Gifts of flowers to the convalescent are among the graceful expressions of courteous interest. Even a total stranger may send these, without offending. Wedding gifts may be sent at any time within two months before the wedding. All who send gifts should be asked to the wedding and reception. WEDDING ETIQUETTE. 53 Wedding Anniversaries. It is becoming more and more the custom, both in town and country, to celebrate wedding anniver- saries. These occasions, however, with a few ex- ceptions, are usually confined to the exchange of gifts and expression of good- will by members of the immediate family. But when a number of years have passed, a married pair, whose wedded lives have been harmonious, begin to look forward to the approach of an anniversary which can be celebrated by a much wider circle. The marriage anniversary which falls after five years is sometimes called **a wooden wedding;" after ten years, **tin;" after twenty, * 'crystal;*' at twenty-five, * 'silver;" at fifty, a ** golden anniversary;'* and at seventy- five the ** diamond wedding** occurs. So general has been the custom, in the past, of making these anniversaries occasions for the mak- ing of gifts of all descriptions that self-respect- ing families have at last drawn the line at this practice and engraved upon their anniversary mvitation cards: "No gifts received.** Still some old friends will take the liberty sometimes of disregard- ing the engraved injunction, just as such valued individuals indulge themselves in familiarities with the rules that usually govern one's private social affairs. But if remoter relatives or mere society acquaintances send a gift other than flowers or a book, after being requested to restrict their gener- osity, they need not be surprised if the act be con- sidered an impertinence, and resented accordingly. The prevailing style of cards of invitation to an anniversary party or reception is the same as to any ordinary entertainment. A wedding-bell, or a horse-shoe of white flowers, with the date of the marriage wrought into it with colored blossoms, or a bride's loaf dated in sugar and placed upon a separate table^ informs the guests of the reason for 54 HOW TO BKHAVE. rejoicing. Here is the correct form of invitation card for such occasions: Mr. and Mrs. Ai,e:xandkr J. Marshai,]; request the pleasure of your presence on Tuesday evening ^ January eleventh^ at eight o'clock^ to celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary of their marriage. No. 47 Rylance Street. No gifts received. It is customary for the host and hostess to secure as many guests as possible from among those who were present at their wedding. The clergyman who performed the ceremony is bidden, and, if possible, the wedding-garments are again worn. Other interesting formalities are added, making the occasion impressive, without being oppressive. Near kinspeople offer congratulations first, when other guests follow after the manner of a wedding reception. When a formal supper is provided, the host and hostess lead together upon this peculiar occasion, and the guests follow in convenient order, as at an ordinary party. The supper may be in buffet style, if preferred. Notes Aboxjt Weddings. When a honeymoon follows, the old customs are still maintained. The father, mother and intimate friends kiss the bride, and, as the happy pair drive off, a shower of satin slippers and nee NEW YEAR'S DAY CAI^IvS. 55 follows them. If one slipper alights on the top of the carriage, luck is assured to them forever. Many brides nowadays prefer to be married in traveling dress and hat, and leave immediately without congratulations. Wedding-cake is no longer sent about. It is neatly packed in boxes; each guest takes one, if she likes, on leaving the house. Wedding-favors of white ribbon and artificial flowers are used in England, but not to any great extent in America. Here the groom wears a boutonnihre of natural flowers. A widow should never be accompanied by brides- maids, or wear a veil or orange-blossoms. She should wear a colored silk and a bonnet, and be at- tended by her father, brother or some near friend. It is proper for her to remove her first wedding-ring, as the wearing of that cannot but be painful to the bridegroom. If married at home, she may wear a light silk and be bonne tless. It is an exploded idea that of allowing every one to kiss the bride. Only near relatives have this privilege. Wedding tours are no longer considered obligatory nor is the seclusion of the honeymoon demanded by fashionable society. New Year's Day Cai.i,s. The old-time habit of serving wines and liquors at these gatherings has, happily, almost died out, in good society. Those who entertain elaborately upon New Year's Day sometimes send out cards of invitation in the name of the hostess. They are handsomely engraved, and enclosed in a single envelope. If a daughter or daughters receive with her, **Miss Blank or Misses Blank " is en- graved beneath her own name. If other ladies than her daughters also receive with her^ their 56 HOW TO BKHAVE). visiting-card may be enclosed in the same envelope with the hostess' invitation. Should the lady-guest invite her own personal friends to meet her at the residence of her hostess for this day, she writes the number of her residence where she is to receive on New Year's upon her own card, adding the receiv- ing hours in ink, and she incloses the visiting-card of her hostess. The invitation of the hostess is engraved in the following form: Mrs. Wii^mkr Rai^xon AT HOME, January firsts from one until ten o^dock. No. 679 Little Silver Street All the ladies are in full toilets, and the house is lighted as if it were evening. A table is spread, as if for an ordinary reception or party, in the back parlor or dining-room. A servant opens the street- door and the gentlemen leave their cards in the hall. They enter the drawing-room with hat in hand, or they may leave it in the hall with over- coat and cane. Ladies in full costume require the atmosphere of their drawing-rooms to be kept com- fortably warm. They rise to receive their guests. The hostess offers her hand to the guest when he enters, and, after an exchange of compliments he is presented to her lady friends. After partaking of refreshments, which consist of oysters, tea, coffee, chocolate, bouillon or lemonade, with cake and cold meats, boned turkey, etc. , he may retire soon from the house without interrupting his hostess, provided she be occupied with later visitors. He need only bow to each lady as he passes out. CHRISTENINGS AND BIRTHDAYS. 57 Ladies who receive New Year's callers less for- mally may write ''January i *' upon their visiting- cards and send them to such of their gentlemen acquaintances as they may like to see. They need not provide an elaborate repast. They may wear a visiting costume with light gloves, but they need not turn on the gas, because informal receptions are held in daylight. If they do not mention upon their cards the hours for receiving, it is etiquette for a gentleman to call at any time between twelve m. and ten o'clock p. m. The formalities between hostess and guest are the same as if the reception were held in grand toilet. Gentlemen who cannot call enclose their visiting- cards in envelopes, and send them by messengers on the morning of New Year's, or by mail the day before. Others drive from door to door and leave their cards, the right-hand side folded over to signify that they delivered the card in person. A gentleman leaves as many cards as there are ladies who are old enough to receive visitors. Gentlemen should wear a morning costume of dark coat and vest, with lighter pantaloons, when they pay New Year's calls. It is not uncommon to see dress-suits, but they are never strictly correct until evening. Gloves, while light in tint, should never be white. Medium tints in scarfs and gloves are in taste upon these occasions. Christenings and Birthdays. There are occasions when family and friendly reunions of the pleasantest character may be en- joyed. Christening ceremonials among our su- perior citizens are becoming more and more beauti- ful each year in New York. The formality which is most in favor is the giving of a reception; the hours are fixed from three or four o'clock until six 58 HOW TO BEHAVE. p. m. It is equally proper to write the invitations, or to order them engraved in script. The engraved form is scarcely varied from the following: Mr. and Mrs. Wii^i^iam AsHa^oN request the honor of your presence at the Christening Ceremony of their son [or daughter] at five o' clocks Thursday^ December sixth. Reception from, four to six o'' clock. No. 1624 W. Eleventh Street. This card calls for an early response. At these parties, flowers ornament the house tastefully. The guests all arrive in reception or visiting toilets, before five o'clock, and meet the host and hostess just as they would at any recep- tion. There may be a band of music, or a pianist and a quartette of singers, to entertain the guests. Sometimes professional musicians are employed. A temporary font is arranged in a prominent place in the room, and on a small round table is placed a silver goblet or bowl, or one of crystal. The edge of the pedestal is often hung with trailing flowers. The child is brought to the parents, who stand by the font, and the sponsors join them. If it be a girl, its selected guardians are usually two young ladies, who are dressed in white and who arrange themselves one at each side of the father and mother, and a hymn or chant is sung. The clergy- man performs the rite according to the formalities MOURNING ETIQUETTE. 59 of his own established church; more music fol- lows, and then a benediction. Directly after this, congratulations are offered to the father and mother, and the child is admired and shortly afterward removed. Refreshments are offered as at any afternoon en- tertainment. Children's birthdays are celebrated more and more after the customs of Europeans. A little feast is made for the child, to which its companions are invited, but the invitations seldom extend beyond a number that may be seated at table. The feast is dainty but not rich, and with a pretty cake in which may be placed as many toy wax-candles as there are years in the age of the young host. They are al- ready lighted when the young people enter the room. Plays follow the supper. Guests are not expected to make presents. Among the elders of a family the yearly return of the birthday is seldom celebrated except by his or her own kinspeople. The twenty-first birthday of a young man is often made an occasion for a din- ner, or a party, but a lady's age is not thus public- ly celebrated. When the lady or gentleman be- comes very old, delightful attentions are often bestowed upon them by their young friends, and by the companions of their youth. Flowers, letters of congratulation, cards of inquiry and respect, gifts that will interest, breakfast or dinner parties, and receptions, are considered proper for such celebra^ tions. Mourning Etiquette. Death comes to all alike and custom has long established a conventional observance in deaUng with the presence of death, in our own homes or elsewhere. In our own country black is worn as the typical attire of sorrow, and it has come to be regarded as a token of respect to the lost one. It 6o HOW TO BEHAVE. is now decreed that crape shall only be worn six months, even for the nearest relative, and that the duration of mourning shall not exceed a year. A wife's mourning for her husband is the most con- ventionally deep mourning allowed. Bombazine and crape, a widow's cap, and a long, thick veil — • such is the modern English idea. Some widows even have the cap made of black crepe lisse^ but it is generally of white. In this country a widow's first mourning dresses are covered almost entirely with crape. There are now, however, other and pleasant- er fabrics which also bear the dead black, lustreless look which is alone considered respectful to the dead, and which are not so costly as crape or so disagreeable to wear. The Henrietta cloth and imperial serges are chosen for heavy winter dresses, while for those of less weight are tamise cloth, Bayonnaise, grenadine, nuns* veiling, and the American silk. Mourning is expensive, and often costs a family more than they can well afford; but it is a sacrifice that all gladly make. Many consider it an act of disrespect to the memory of the dead if the living are not clad in gloomy black. Widows wear deep mourning, consisting of woolen stuffs and crape, for about two years, and sometimes by choice for life. Children wear the same for parents for one year, and then lighten it with black silk, trimmed with crape. Half mourn- ing gradations of gray, purple, or lilac have been abandoned, and, instead, combinations of black and white are used. Complimentary mourning is black silk without crape. The French have three grades of mourning — deep, ordinary, and half mourning. In deep mourning, woolen cloths only are worn; in ordinary mourning, silk and woolen; in half mourning, gray and violet. In France, etiquette prescribes mourning for a husband — six months of deep mourning, six of ordinary, and MOURNING ETIQUBTTK. 6r six weeks of half mourning. For a wife, a father, or a mother, six months — three deep and three half mourning; for a grandparent, two months and a half of slight mourning; for a brother or a sister, two months, one of which is in deep mourning; for an uncle or an aunt, three weeks of ordinary black. Here, ladies have been known to go into deepest mourning for their own relatives or those of their husbands, or for people, perhaps, whom they have never seen, and have remained for seven or ten years, constantly in black; then, on losing a child or a relative dearly loved, they have no extremity of dress left to express the real grief. Complimen- tary mourning should be limited to two or three weeks. The duration of a mourner's retirement from the world has been much shortened of late. For one year no formal visiting is undertaken, nor any gay- ety. Black is often worn for a husband or wife two years, for parents one year, and for brothers and sisters one year; a heavy black is lightened after that period. Ladies are beginning to wear a small black gauze veil over the face, and are in the habit of throwing the heavy crape veil back over the hat. It is also proper to wear a quiet black dress when going to a funeral, although not absolutely neces- sary. Friends may call on the bereaved family within a month, not expecting, of course to see them. Kind notes expressing sympathy are wel- come from intimate friends; and flowers, or any similar testimonial of sympathy, are thoughtful and appropriate. Cards and note-paper are put in mourning, but very broad borders of black are in bad taste. A narrow border of black is correct. The use of handkerchiefs with a two-inch square of white cambric and a four-inch border of black is to be deprecated. Mourning which soldiers, sailors, and courtiers ^ HOW TO BEHAVE. wear is pathetic and effective. A flag draped with crape, a gray cadet-sleeve with a black band, or a piece of crape about the left arm of a senator, a black weed on a hat, are in proper taste. For light mourning, jet is used on silk, and makes a handsome dress. Elegant dresses are made with jet embroidery on soft French crape, but lace is never ** mourning." During half mourning, however, black lace may be worn on white silk ; but this is questionable. Dia- mond ornaments set in black enamel are allowed even in the deepest mourning, and also pearls set in black. Gold is never worn in mourning. The Swedish kid glove is now much more in use for mourning, and the silk glove is made with such neatness and with such a number of buttons that it is equally stylish, and much cooler and more agree- able. Mourning bonnets are worn rather larger than ordinary bonnets. People of sense, of course, manage to dress with- out going to extremities in either direction. Ex- aggeration is to be deprecated in mourning as in everything. The discarding of mourning should be effected by slow stages. It shocks persons of good taste to see a widow change into colors hurriedly. If black is to be dispensed with, let its retirement be slowly and gracefully marked by quiet costumes, as the grief, yielding to time, is giving way to resignation and cheerfulness. Before a funeral the ladies of a family see no one but the most intimate friends. The gentlemen, of course, see the clergyman and officials who manage the ceremony. It is now the almost universal practice to carry the remains to a church, where the friends of the family can pay the last tribute of respect without crowding into a private house. Pall-bearers are invited by note, and assemble at the house. They, accompanying the remains, after the ceremonies at the church, to their final MOURNING ETIQUETTE. 63 resting-place. The nearest lady friends seldom go to the church or to the grave. This is, however, en- tirely a matter of feeling, and they can go if they wish. After the funeral only the members of the family return to the house. It is not expected that a bereaved wife or mother will see any one other than the members of her family for several weeks. All the preparations for a funeral in the house are committed to the care of an undertaker, who removes the furniture from the drawing-room, fill- ing all the space possible with camp-stools. The clergyman reads the service at the head of the coffin, the relatives being grouped around. The body, if not disfigured by disease, is often dressed in the clothes worn in life, and laid in an open casket, as if reposing on a sofa, and all friends are asked to take a last look. The body of a man is usually dressed in black. The custom of decorating the coffin with flowers is beautiful, but has been overdone, and now the request is frequently made that no flowers be sent. No one in mourning for a parent, child, brother, or husband, is expected to be seen at a concert, a dinner, a party, or at any other place of public amusement, before three months have passed. After that one may be seen at a concert. But to go to the opera, or a dinner, or a party, before six months have elapsed, is considered heartless and disrespectful. If one choose, as some do, to wear no mourning, then he can go, unchallenged, to any place of amusement, but if he put on mourning he must respect its etiquette. A woman may wear mourning all her life if she choose, but it is a question whether in so doing she does not injure the welfare and happiness of the Mving. 64 HOW TO BEHAVE. Thb Etiquette of Correspondence. Good or ill-breeding is no more marked in general deportment than in the writing of notes and letters. A gracefully and courteously worded note is always pleasantly received. Very long letters are now rendered unnecessary by the in- crease of mail and telegraphic facilities, but the writing of notes has correspondingly increased; and the last few years have seen a profuse introduc- tion of crests, ciphers, dcvsigns, and monograms in the corners of ordinary note-paper. The use of sealing-wax has almost been abandoned, although it is still the only elegant, formal, and ceremonious way acknowledged in England, of sealing a letter. Colored note-paper fell into disuse long ago, and for the last few years we have not seen the heavy tints. Pale greens, grays, blues, and lilacs have found a place in fashionable stationery, but now no color that is appreciable is considered stylish, unless it be ecru^ a creamy white. Fanciful emblaz- oned and colored monograms have been dropped; the crest and cipher are laid aside, and ladies have simply the address of their city residenfce, or the name of their country place printed in one corner (generally in color), or, a fac-simile of their initals, engraved and set across the corner of the note- paper. The day of the week, also copied from their own handwriting, is often impressed upon the square cards now so much in use for short notes, or on the note-paper. Good, plain, thick, English note-paper, folded square, put ixv a square envelope, and sealed with red sealing-wax is always stylish in any part of the world. The plan of having all the note-paper marked with the address is an excellent one. It gives a stylish finish to the appearance of the note-paper, is simple, and useful. The ink should be plain ETIQUBTTB OF CORRESPONDENCE). 65 black ink, which gives the written characters great distinctness. Every lady should Study to acquire a free, and educated hand ; a cramped, poor, slovenly, un- formed handwriting is sure to produce a poor im- pression upon the reader. Custom demands that we begin all notes in the first person, with the formula of ''My dear Mrs. Brown,'' and close with "Yours, cordially," or *' Yours with much regard," etc. The laws of etiquette do not permit us to use numerals, as 3, 4, 5, but demand that we write out three, four, five. No abbreviations are allowed in a note to a friend, as, "Sd be glad to see you;" one must write out, **I should be glad to see you. ' ' The date should follow the signing of the name. A note in answer to an invitation should be written in the third person, if the invitation be in the third person. An accept- ance of a dinner invitation must be written in this form : Mr. and Mrs. Gree^n have great pleasure in accepting the polite invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Dinsmore^ for dinner^ on the seventeenth inst.^ at seven o'clock. 18 Golden Square, fuly sixth. Above all things, in letter writing, spell correctly, A word badly spelled stands out like a blot on a familiar or ceremonious note. Do not send a blurred, blotted, slovenly note to any one. The fashion 66 HOW TO BEHAVE. is not now, as once, imperative that a margin be left around the edge of the paper. People now write all over the paper. Do not cross your letters: such letters are a nuisance to all people who have not the keenest of eyes. No letter or note should be written on ruled paper. Every person should learn to write with- out lines. The square cards are much used, and are quite large enough for the transmission of all that a lady ordinarily wishes to say in giving or accepting an invitation. The day of the week and the address are often printed on the card. Square envelopes have also driven the long ones from the table of the elegant note-writer, and the custom of closing all ceremonious notes with sealing-wax is still adhered to by the most fastidious. Dates and numerical designations, such as the number of a house, may be written in Arabic figures, but quanti- ties should be expressed in words. Few abbrevia- tions are respectful. A married lady should always be addressed with the prefix of her husband's Christian name. In this country, it is the custom to abbreviate everything except the title of * 'Rev- erend," which we always give to the clergy. A properly written note honors the writer and the person to whom it is written, while a careless one may injure both. Behavior in Church. It may not be out of place to furnish a hint as to behavior in church. There is, of course, such a thing as church etiquette, although its code is rather implied than written. As a preliminary, it should be assumed that the right spirit has drawn the worshiper thither and that a reverent atten- tion will be given to the service. The following suggestion may be accepted as embodying the general view of .church etiquette : BEHAVIOR IN CHURCH. &; 1. If possible, be in time. You need at least five minutes after coming to get warm or cool: to compose your body and mind, and to whisper a prayer before the service begins. 2. Never pass up the aisle during prayer or Scripture reading. If you do, your presence will distract the minds of many in the audience. 3. Be devout in every attitude; all whispering should be studiously avoided. Find the hymn ana sing it if you can. Share the book with your neighbor. If in a strange church, conform to its customs. 4. If the the sermon has begun, take a seat near the door — no matter if you are **at home. '* 5. Be thoughtful for the comfort of others. Take the inside of the pew, if you are the first to enter, and leave all vacant space at the end next to the aisle. 6. Speak a bright, cheery word to as many as possible at the close of the service. If you are a stranger, ask one of the ushers to introduce you to the pastor, or to some of the church officers. This will always insure you a hearty welcome. 7. Never put on your coat, overshoes or wraps during the closing hymn, and do not make a rush for the door immediately after the benediction is pronounced. 8. There should be no loud talking and jesting after the service is concluded. They are as much out of place in the house of God as at a house of mourning. 68 HOW TO BEHAVE. VARIOUS POINTS ON DEPORTMENT. Poi^iTE Terms oi^ Address. Not every one who is accustomed to most of the usages of good society, is familiar with the ap- proved forms of address, even in the simplest matters. A good authority writes : Say ** Thank you,'^ not ** Thanks ** — a lazy and disrespectful abbreviation. If you say ** Pardon me,'* let your manner be appropriate to your words. ** I beg your pardon '* is sometimes uttered in prefacing the expression of a contrary opinion, and the insolence of the tone and manner give the words all the force of a contradiction. In most phravSes of compliment the words are nothing, the manner everything. So of adding **Sir*' or ** Ma'am" to *»Yes" and *'No.'* "Yes, sir," " No, sir," may be rude and defiant ; ** Yes " and **No " may be polite and deferential. There is a difference of opinion as to whether it is necessary, or even proper, for people of social equality to add sir or madam to these responses, and especially as to whether children should be taught to do so. It is a provincial custom, but the best usage does not allow it. Children may be taught tosay **Yes** and **No " with a well-bred courtesy of tone and inflection to which the additional syllable **Sir'* could give no additional grace. It is an important point of training in etiquette to enforce the truth that the spirit of words and deeds is the essence of good manners, or good anything^ in fact FAULTY SOCIAL TRAINING. 69 FAUI.TY SociAiv Training. That society is bad whose members, however tenacious they be of forms of etiquette and elab- orate ceremonials, have one code of manners for those whom they deem their equals, and another for those whom they esteem to be of less impor- tance to them by reason of age, pecuniary condi- tion, or relative social influence, writes Mrs. Sherwood. Bad manners are apt to prove the concomitant of a mind and disposition that are none too good, and the woman who slights and wounds people because they cannot minister to her ambitions, challenges criticism of her own shortcomings. A girl who is impertinent or care- less in her demeanor to her mother or her mother's friends ; who talks slang ; who is careless in her bearing toward young men ; who accepts the at- tentions of a man of bad character or dissipated habits ; who is loud in dress or manner — such a girl must be classed as ill-bred and undesirable in good society. So with a young man who is indifferent to his elders, neglects to acknowledge invitations, sits while a lady stands, does not speak to his host ; who is selfish, immoral and careless of his reputa- tion. No matter how rich, or how agreeable to those he may wish to please, he is to be avoided by a wise host or hostess. If a young girl comes from a secluded circle, and sees some handsome, well dressed woman much courted, and observes in her what seems to be inso- lent pretence, unkindness, frivolity, and super- ciliousness, let her inquire and wait before she accepts her acquaintance. Good society is the bringing together of the best men and women in a pleasant and proper way. Good breeding, per- sonal superiority, beauty, genius, culture, are all estimable things, and every one likes a person of TO HOW TO BEHAVE. charming manners ; but the best society is that of those who have virtue and good manners com- bined. Tactfui, Hostesses. The capable hostess will give her instructions for the details of the entertainment so explicitly that on the arrival of the guests she need have no other care than their pleasure. If she is nervous, or fihows constraint, it affects the ease of her guests- Upon the demeanor of the hosts the success of the occasion largely depends. Much tact may be shown in placing the right people together at the table. If one is a great talker let the other be a good listener ; if one is dogmatic let the other be with- out positive views, and so on ; for every one is hap- piest when appearing well. The guests, too, have their obligations, and in recognition of the com- pliment of being invited where the number of guests is limited to very few, each one should ex- ert himself to be as agreeable as possible, a dull dinner or tea companion being a misfortune. At a dinner there is time, not given at most other forms of entertainment, for rational and sustained con- versation, and this may be turned to durance vile if one victimizes by his egotism or caprice the per- son who without power of withdrawal is assigned to his society for perhaps two hours or more. Also, if one finds himself neighbor to some one he dis- likes, it must not be allowed to interfere with the general pleasure ; and should such a situation oc- cur, there is nothing to do but to make the best of it. The discovery is sometimes made that an un- friendly person is more agreeable than was sup- posed, and a pleasanter relationship results. A Young Girl's Social Life. Here is a pretty and instructive little sketch by Ruth Ashmore from her new book on **Sidetalks A YOUNG GIRI^'S SOCIAL LIFE. 71 'with Girls,*' in which she pictures the ** Social Life of a Girl. *' She writes : You are just beginning to go out ; you are twenty years old, and you would like, as is per- fectly natural, not only to have the love of women, but the genuine admiration of men. The admira- tion of all men is not worth having. You believe that you are pleasant to look at, but when you meet strangers you are abashed, the blood rushes to your face, and you don*t know what to say. Now a little bit of that is due to self-consciousness ; more of it to inexperience. When a man is pre- sented to you you need not expect to enter into an easy conversation with him, as does the woman of forty, but you can get your thoughts away from yourself and answer him as intelligently as pos- sible. Make up your mind to be a little slow in your speech rather than to give a foolish an- swer, and after you have resolved to do this you will not find it difficult to overcome that silly giggle so peculiar to young women, and which is very often the result of great nervousness, and an efiort to speak quickly. Don't be too perfectly certain about things. The positive girl who, the very minute a stranger speaks to her, gives him an answer which she an- nounces is her opinion, and which she permits no one else to doubt, is quite as undesirable as the girl who is afraid to say anything. I think you will be most successful socially if you are willing to learn, and if you never permit' yourself, from false shame, to tell an untruth and say you do know of things about which you are totally ignor- ant. Experience has taught most social leaders that men like to give information, consequently when a stranger has been presented to you, and after the first ordinary commonplaces, asks, **Did you meet the Spanish Princess?" answer yes or no, as the truth may be, and supplement this by 72 HOW TO BEHAVE. another qnestion, "Did you? And what did you ^ it is^not difficult in this -world to attract, if one is voung and pleasing to look upon. It may be taken as a general rule that no wonian can retain her friends who cannot control her temper. What she thinks may be right but, be- cause it is so, no excuse can be found for her going into a long, quarrelsome fS^'^'^f'J^ll'^l^Z voice, and making her hostess and all the other guests uncomfortable. Then people must know that, socially, a girl is to be relied «Pon ; that she is not going to bring the daily worries of her lite into thi social atmosphere, but that she is certain to bring her mite of agreeableness to add to all the other mites until the perfection of enjoyment is achieved, and the pleasant side of everybody is seen and enjoyed. The woman who wishes to keep her friends must steer clear of vital subjects on which they may differ. . Be pleasant and agreeable to all who may be m your own social world. To retam one's friends one must also respect their social rights. That girl shows wisdom, who, invited to a very elaboraie affair and feeling that she cannot afford even a simple suitable dress, refuses the invitation rather than mortify the hostess by being out of tune in the general harmony. One has achieved a great wisdom when one has learned how to say no in the social world without giving offence, feo it should be with any games, or any affair involving late hours, or at which she would meet undesirable people. The saying " no " is right, but it must be said at the right time, that is, it must be said be- fore the temptation arises and before you wouia be forced to appear as rude. You cannot accept an invitation and refuse to meet your hostess friends. Once there, you are bound to be polite to them, though afterward you need only recognize them INNOCENT AND SINFUL PLEASURES. 73 Tery faintly, and gradually the recognition may die away altogether. A form of declination for those invitations which you are sure will place you either in disagreeable positions or among people whom you do not care to meet, is this : ^^ Miss Brown thanks Mrs. Charles Jones for the kind invitation forWednes- day evenings and regrets her inability to accept it. ^' At your own home have the. parlor the prettiest and most comfortable room in the house, but don't be alone there — have some of the members of the family with you. Arrange the parlor with a view of furnishing subjects for conversation. Have whatever illustrated magazines or papers you have in view, or any photographs of celebrities ; have the piano open and the music on it. INN0CE:N1^ AND SiNFUI, Pi^KASURKS. It is frequently asked : ** What pleasures or recreations may a young man or woman share that are not objectionable. There are a thousand inno- cent pleasures within easy reach of all. Pleasures may be classified as, (i) Recreative and helpful ; (2) Harmless and enjoyable but neither helpful nor otherwise ; (3) Injurious for various reasons and ob- jectionable as being detrimental to spiritual growth and the development of the finer qualities in either sex. To the latter category belong gambling of all sorts, dancing, theatre-going, flirta- tions and frivolous companionship, and all pleas- ures that merely *'kill time'* and induce a tem- porary excitement. Objectionable pleasures are never recreative — a term that implies healthful and upbuilding if not uplifting qualities. 74 HOW TO BKHAVE. The greatest tonic, stimulant, and equalizer, writes Lyman B. Sperry, is genuine pleasure. Con- tentment, satisfaction, joy, are remarkable for their beneficial influence on mind and body. Occupa- tions that are inviting and pleasurable, whether they be called work or play, are helpful to human development, longevity, and efficiency. Diversion, recreation, pleasure, are demanded as an antidote to our feelings of depression and fatigue, a stimu- lant to our courage, a basis for satisfaction with life. All must have recreation and amusement in order to thrive well, but in seeking them it is easy to find and to follow those which, though appar- ently, and perhaps temporarily healthful, are finally destructive of things good and satisfying. All amusements which leave a sting, or feelings of surfeit or of regret, are either essentially unhealth- ful (and therefore unjustifiable), or they are used in such a way as, practically, to make them injuri- ous. There are some so-called amusements which are inevitably bad, and there are others which are bad only when they are intemperately pursued. So much depends upon the time, the manner, the amount, the associations, the tendencies of various forms of activity called amusements, that it is im- possible to classify them rigidly as either com- mendable or objectionable. All intelligent persons must admit that our lives should be conformed to ways that are helpful to advancement in all that is really and permanently good. Amusements should secure rest from irksome toil and conduce to real recuperation. While they en- able fatigued parts of the body to rest, they should also bring into action other parts that need, for the general good of the body, as well as for their own good, to be called into exercise. Genuine and healthful amusements stimulate mental emotion in such a way as to make one forget his burdens and sorrows, they leave in the consciousness a sweet INNOCJENT AND SINPUL PLEASURES. 75 memory which spreads its perfume over and through the succeeding period of toil, and even into the toil of one's neighbors. There should be no doubt about the effects. Questionable amuse! ments are usually injurious amusements. Some really commendable forms may be in bad repute simply because they are habitually in bad com- pany or possibly because of mere prejudice. Each one should be intelligently examined as to its na- ture and influence and be accepted or rejected only after a fair judgment is passed upon it Comparatively few persons lack opportunities for amusement and with many the great question IS what not to do. With so much tS select from how shall we amuse ourselves ? The answer is ik TL^T^ ""^ //^^^^-provided, first, that we can «#or^ It; second, that we find practically that it furnishes the rest and recuperation we J^^ and that without leaving a residuum of regret or of lessened self-respect ; third, that our indulgence does not interfere with the natural rights of others or prove a stumbling-block to them; and fourth' that It IS not of such a fascinating nature as to in duce us to consume an undue amount of time and energy. It requires a goodly stock of intelligence and conscience to determine, each for himself what amusements he shall seek, and where, when and how they shall be sought. ' «r^f ti!°T ""^-^^l ^ornz.n who, at the social party /-L c/.^/^"'^y ^'T^^' P^^ys any kind of a fame for 5^aye«, even though they may be trifling thereby kindles and fans a flame that in many casfs LS^'^f ,r*l"\".^^?'''^- '^^^ person thus tempted S.1°".°''m,^'-'J'°P'^^«^^' ^nd '"slies into Ly- exdt^ementl^ " "'"''"'^ °' ^"^^'^^ *^^ ^°^'^ «f mI^\^'T('^"^"*-!.°^°'°"* ^°r^^ °f amusement ettects. So intimately related are mind and body. 76 HOW TO BEHAVE. so influential is the conscience over physical processes, that nothing which the conscience con- demns can be healthful and recuperative. And it is equally true that every form of physical excess or of dissipation, inevitably leaves mental recoils and moral stings. One of the best men of the day, who has seen much of life and who has studied many of its problems, says: ^'If an amusement sends you home at night nervous, so that you cannot sleep, and you rise up in the morning, not because you are slept out, but because your duties drag you from your slumbers, you have been where you ought not to have been. There are amusements that send a man, next day, to his work, yawning, stupid, nauseated, and with blood-shot eyes ; they are wrong amusements. There are entertainments that give a man disgust with the drudgery of life ; with work-tools because they are not swords ; with working aprons because they are not princely robes • with domestic cattle because they are not infuriated bulls of the arena. If anything sends you home longing for a life of thrilling adventure, for love that takes poison or shoots itself, for moon- light adventures and hair-breadth escapes, ^ you may depend upon it you are the sacrificed victim of unsanctified pleasure. Our recreations are in- tended to build us up, and if they pull us down, as to our moral or as to our physical strength, you may come to the conclusion that they are ob- noxious. I10XHJU&. ^^ -, J. u Wise people judge all so-called r.musements by their actual fruits ; by their immediate and their remote influence on the body, the mind and the soul It is the part of wisdom to cheerfully avoid all that prove to be dissipating to physical energy, or degrading to moral character ; and the highest wisdom as clearly dictates that we cheerfully engage in those things which rest, refresh, and energize our God-given powers. MANAGEMENT OF THE HANDS. ^^ Treatment oe Servants. There is no surer sign of ill breeding and ill feeling than the rude treatment of dependents. The obligation of civility to servants should be in- culcated especially upon the young American, who ought to learn at the earliest period that the acci- dental relation of advantage of position, w^hich is ever alternating in a country free from prescriptive right, gives no title to a haughty demeanor and a domiaeering conduct. The recognition of the mutual obligation of master and man, and mistress and maid, is a certain sign of the true gentleman and lady, who will never exact from those tempo- rarily placed in subjection to them the civility they are unwilling to bestow. The *' thank you," '* please," and other courteous expressions of a kindly consideration of the obligation of the em- ployer to the employed, will be freely proffered by all who are fully conscious of their social duties and willing to acknowledge them. Policy, as well as good breeding, inculcates the necessity of gentle treatment and courteous behavior to servants, who will seldom fail to respond with a more zealous service and a readier obedience to exactions and commands rendered less harsh and domineering by a soft word and a subdued mastery. Management oe the Hands. The management of the hands in company seems to embarrass young people greatly. This comes from the false modesty which induces them to sup- pose they are the observed of all observers. Let them think only of themselves in due proportion of estimate with the vast multitude of mankind, and frequent habitually the company of the refined, and they will probably overcome much of their awkwardness, if they do not acquire a large degree of grace. 78 HOW TO BBHAVB. Posing for Kffe;ct. To attitudinize, with the view of producing an impressive effect upon the beholder, seldom suc- ceeds except with the rawest members of society. When detected, as it always is by accompHshed people of the world, it creates, at first sight, a feeling of aversion which it is not easy to eradicate. This posing for effect is so old a trick, and so easy of detection, that it is surprising any person who has reached the years of discretion should attempt to play it. Yet how often do we see it, in its va- rious phases of the delicate young lady with the languid air, the listless step, or die-away posture ! — the literary young lady with the studiously neg- lected toilette, the carefully exposed breadth of forehead, and the ever-present, but seldom read book ! — the abstemious young lady, who surrep- titiously feeds on chops at private lunch, and starves on a pea at the public dinner ! — the humane young lady, who pulls Tom's ears and otherwise tortures brother and sister in the nursery, and does her utmost to fall into convulsions before company at sight of a dead fly ! — the fastidious young lady, who faints, should there be an audience to behold the scene, at the sight of roast goose, but whose robust appetite vindicates itself by devouring all that is left of the unclean animal when a private opportunity will allow. We assure our young readers that such affectations are not only absurd, for they are perfectly transparent, but ill bred, as shams of all kinds essentially are. Winking and Dozing in Pubi^ic. Winking and all knowing glances had better be left to the horse jockeys and the frequenters of the bar-rooms, billiard saloon, and gambling-tables. It would seem hardly necessary to remind any one of the indecorousness of sleeping in company, but BEAUTIFYING THK HANDS. 79 it must be recollected that the obligation is equally urgent upon all not to put people to sleep. It is the duty of every one to be wakeful ; it is equally so to be as little somniferous in matter and man- ner as possible. An illustration is given of the somnolency of Washington Irving, who, according to the author, D' Israeli, was taken up bodily from a dinner-table where he had fallen asleep, and did not awake until set down in the midst of an evening party. BKAUTii^YiNG THE Hands. Much can be done by care to beautify the fingers^ upon the grace of which depends greatly the beauty of the whole hand. The natural tapering length of these can only be preserved by removing from them all pinching manacles of kid and jewelry. Much of the beauty of the finger depends upon the proper treatment of the nails. These, if cut too close, deform the finger-ends and render them stubby. The upper and free border of the nail should always be left projecting a line or so beyond the extremity of the finger, and be pared only to a slight curve, without encroaching too much on the angles. To preserve the half moon, or what the anatomists call the lunula, which rises just above the root of the nail, and is esteemed so great a beauty, care must be taken to keep down the skin, which constantly tends to encroach upon it. This should be done with a blunt ivory instru- ment, and the growth gently pushed away, but never cut. By this means, also, the production of the annoying ** hang-nail " will be prevented. The habit of filing or scraping the nails is fatal to their perfection, as it thickens their substance and de- stroys their Ccitural transparency. The ordinary finger-brush should alone be used for cleaning and polishing the nails. The ugly habit of biting the 8o HOW TO BKHAVE. nails is fatal to their beauty. They become exces- sively brittle in consequence, not being allowed time to acquire their natural toughness, and, more- over, the ends of the fingers, being unsupported, turn over, forming an ugly rim of hard flesh, which will prevent the regular growth of the nail. Causes oi^ Dki^ormkd Fe;et. The tight shoe or boot, too narrowly toed, is exclusively responsible for that painful affection, ingrowth of the toe-nail. If treated in time, it can be easily and simply cured. All that is neces- sary is to scrape down the nail until it becomes quite thin, and then cut the projecting edge of it in a semilunar form, with its concavity looking outward from the foot. The nail of the great toe should always be thus pared, care being taken not to clip the angles. This causes it to grow toward the centre, and shrink from the tender flesh at the sides. Chloroform now happily fulfills the service for the rendering of which this awkward process was barely a pretext. Though the operation has thus become painless to the insensible patient, it has lost none of its horror to the spectator. The surgeon, grasping the toe, thrusts the sharp-pointed blade of a pair of scissors under the nail as far as it will go, and then, cutting it in two, tears out each half with a pair of pincers from the quivering flesh in which it has been long imbedded. No one, not even the slave of fashion, should submit to any form of the boot or shoe other than the broad-toed, which is fortunately now in vogue. The foot, like the hand, is subject to the in- firmity of excessive perspiration. It is to be remedied by the same general and local treatment. The habitual daily washing of the feet should be with cold rather than with warm water, and a AWKWARDNESS IN SITTING. 8i powder of starch or arrowroot, which it would be well to perfume with bitter almonds, orris, or some other no more intrusive odor, should be sprinkled in the inside of the stocking. Carej of 'THE) Te;kth. A wholesome condition of the teeth is not only essential to good looks, but to daily comfort and permanent health. Chewing of the food, so ne- cessary to a good digestion, cannot be properly performed with weak and diseased masticators, which are, in fact, the frequent cause of dyspepsia and other affections of the stomach. I^ocal dis- eases of the most tormenting kind, such as neu- ralgia and the various painful face, head, and ear aches, and disorders of the eye, as well as the fatal cancer and tedious ulcers of the tongue and lips, are often due to no other cause than a decayed and ragged tooth. Awkwardness in Sitting. Many ladies, by not bending the knees, render their walk very ungraceful. The posture, more- over, if too rigid, particularly in sitting, has an exceedingly ugly look. Some folks are unable to sit on a chair, though they have so many oppor- tunities of learning how to do it. While some never fairly get on a seat but to their own manifest discomfort, and that of all who look upon their misery, poise and balance themselves on the sharp edge, there are others who roll their bodies up into heaps, as it were, and throw them with an audible bounce deep into the receptacle, whatever it may be. Every one seating himself should take his place deliberately, and so completely that he may feel the full repose of the chair, which it is designed 82 HOW TO BBHAVB. to give. The limbs, once at rest, should be moved, if moved at all, as noiselessly as possible ; and all extraordinary actions, such as lifting, for example, one leg high upon the other, and holding it there manacled by a grasp of the hand, should be avoided. A person striding a chair, and grinding his teeth, and thrumming his hands on the back, has by no means an elegant look to the observer before or behind. This practice, which is never becoming in any company, is simply indecent in that of women. About Bi^ushing. Blushing, which, as a sign of modesty, may be commendable in the young, especially of the female sex, is by no means always pleasing and worthy of encouragement. When immoderate and inoppor- tune, it becomes a social nuisance. There is a false shame, which is the very reverse of true modesty. The usual signs of the fictitious quality are shy- ness, with the common accompaniments of frequent and ill-timed blushing, hesitancy of speech, hang- ing of the head, downcast eyes, sidelong glances,! shambling and stumbling gait, restlessness of post- ure, and a general air of voluntary shrinkage, if we may be allowed the term. This false modesty is the result of a genuine vanity, which, overesti- mating self, fancies it the object of universal atten- tion. This naturally begets a sensitiveness and an anxiety about personal appearance so great that they embarrass the whole behavior ; for these ex- cessively vain persons, fancying all eyes constantly upon them, would desire to make a figure in society of which they are manifestly incapable. Of this they are the first to become conscious, and their hopelessness of success is painted in strong colors upon the face, and visibly impressed upon every ABOUT BLUSHING. 83 limb and feature. There are persons who live to an advanced life, and yet retain this fault. It has often proved fatal to the social qualities of some who have been otherwise singularly well adapted not only to receive from society, but to bestow upon it, both distinction and happiness. 84 HOW TO BEHAVE. STRAY HINTS. Enjoy Tun Present Hour. There is an Eastern legend of a powerful genii, who promised a beautiful maiden a gift of rare value if she would pass through a field of corn and, with- out pausing, going backward, or wandering hither and thither, select the largest and ripest ear, — the value of the gift to be in proportion to the size and perfection of the ear she should choose. She passed through the field, seeing a great many well worth gathering, but always hoping to find a larger and more perfect one, she passed them all by, when, coming to a part of the field where the stalks grew more stunted, she disdained to take one from these, and so came through to the other side without having selected any. This little fable is a faithful picture of many lives, which are rejecting the good things in their way and within their reach, for something before them for which they vainly hope, but will never secure. On a dark night and in a dangerous place, where the footing is insecure, a lantern in the hand is worth a dozen stars. It is well to look beyond the present into the future, and in the vSeason of strength and prosperity, to make provision for a time when misfortune and old age may overtake us. But this does not mean that we should ignore the present altogether, nor that our pleasures should consist solely in the anticipation of some future prosperity or expected success. Make Home Attractive. Some one has said that the three sweetest words in our language are, *' Mother, Home and Heaven.*^ We may well pity that being so unfortunate as not A SUNNY TEMPER. 85 to have enjoyed the blessings of a happy home, for in the battle of life we need to be armed with the counsels and prayers of a mother, and all holy and sweet home influences, if we are to successfully meet the snares and perils which will beset us. Home is the paradise in which this wonderful world is first revealed to our growing consciousness, and as from its safe shelter we look out upon life we form our estimate of it according to the impressions and teachings we there receive. If the home is brightened with the sunshine of love, its radiance is reflected in all around us, and the whole world appears to us only as one family, — full of kind thoughts, tender sympathies, gentle ministrations and noble deeds. If the home life is sour, gloomy and unhappy, then we see the whole world through the same atmosphere of misery and discontent ; and it is to us only a dull, dismal prison, crowded with selfish souls, whose petty strifes and base actions cause perpetual turmoils and unhappiness. Parents, depend upon it, you have no holier nor higher work to do than to make home attractive. In after years your endeavors will be repaid a hundred fold by the grateful affection, the happy memories, and the noble lives of your children, who, whatever their success elsewhere, will ever turn to the old homestead and its inmates as the Mecca of their earthly pilgrimage. A Sunny Tejmper. If it were possible for us to invoke the aid of some powerful genii, who, as we passed through life, could summon troops of loving friends around us, and make our pathway radiant with their smiles and blessings, we should think no labor too arduous, no sacrifice too great to procure such in- estimable happiness. If such a beneficent fairy held court and dispensed such favors, though she 86 HOW TO BEHAVJS. dwelt m the uttermost parts of the earth, what caravans of eager pilgrims would throng to that favorite realm ! We often forget that the priceless charm which will secure to us all these desirable gifts is within our reach. It is the charm of a sunny temper,— a talisman more potent than sta- tion, more precious than gold, more to be desired than fine rubies. It is an aroma, whose fragrance fills the air with the odors of Paradise. It is an amulet, at sight of w^hich dark clouds of perplexity and hideous shapes of discord flee away. It wreathes the face with smiles, creates friends, pro- motes cheerfulness, awakens tenderness, and scat- ters happiness. It fills the heart with joy, it robs sorrow of its pain and makes of earth a very heaven below. VaIvUE of Femal:^ Sociei^y to Man. One of the most marked men of this century, Disraeli, who achieved distinction in many differ- ent lines of thought and action, toward the close of a career of extraordinary success, m.ade the re- markable statement that **a female friend, am- iable, clever and devoted, is a possession more val- uable than parks and palaces, and without such a nurse, few men can succeed in life, — none be con- tent.*' The reason why multitudes of gifted and brilliant men fail in their career, is for want of the very traits of character which female society w^ould impart. How many men are intellectual, well in- formed, and possess a complete practical knowl- edge of the pursuit they enter upon ! but they are brusque^ imperious, and overbearing ; they lack the urbanity of demeanor, the consideration of others* feelings, the gracefulness of expression, which are necessary to conciliate men and to draw them to themselves ; and for the need of these qualities their progress is impeded, or they fail in their plans TRUB POLITENESS. 87 altogether. The female character possesses those qualities in which most men are deficient, — the delicate instincts, the acute perceptions, the ready- judgment, the wonderful intuitions, — these all belong to her by native right, and are usually acquired by men through her influence. HoMK Maxims. The following maxims, if put in practice daily, would do much to promote harmony and good feeling in the home : ** Never make a remark at the expense of the other ; it is meanness.'* ** Never manifest anger.** ** Never speak loud to one another, unless the house is on fire.'* ** Never reflect on a past action which was done with a good motive, and with the best judgment." " Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. Besides, it may be that you will not meet again in life.'* **Iyet each one strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other, which is the mutual cultiva- tion of an absolute unselfishness. " True) Poi,ite:nkss. Politeness has been called the oil which makes the wheels of society run smoothly ; and certainly it does greatly lessen the friction of daily contact with each other. Keen perceptions, a wise dis- cernment, and a natural power^ of imitation, with much contact with the world, are the essential re- quirements of polished manners. It has been said * ' that the best bred man is he who is possessed of dignified ease, to reconcile him to all situations and society." This is not attained so much from a k^nowledge of the rules of etiquette, as by an innate 88 HOW TO BKHAVB. nobility of character, a greatness of soul, and proper self-respect. True politeness is never the product merely of punctilious conformity to estab- lished usages, although it is necessary to have a knowledge of these, but rather of an overflowing kindness of heart, a generosity of spirit, and a sacred regard for the golden rule. Indeed, the grand foundation on which the etiquette of all civ- ilized countries is based, is that of doing to others as you would they should do unto you, and in pre- ferring others to yourself Mock Modesty. A proper sense of modesty is a virtue which makes real merit more charming, because seem- ingly unconscious of excellence. But carried to an excess it will tend to dwarf the powers, cripple the energies and defeat the great purposes of life. When a man is well qualified to do a certain thing, and feels that he can and ought to do it, but is im- pelled by modesty to shrink back into obscurity for fear of bringing himself into notice, then has his modesty degenerated into cowardice, and in- stead of consoling himself that he is cherishing a great virtue, he needs the lash of stern rebuke for his lack of manliness. One of the most charming of essayists, says : * ' I have noticed that under the notion of modesty men have indulged themselves in a spiritless sheepishness, and been forever lost to themselves, their families, their friends and their country. I have said often, modesty must be an act of the will, and yet it always implies self-denial, for if a man has a desire to do what is laudable for him to perform, and from an unmanly bashfulness shrinks away and lets his merit languish in silence, he ought not to be angry with the world that a more unskillful actor succeeds in his part, because he has aot confidence to come upon the stage himself *' WHEN '^ SMALL-TAIvK '' IS TIMELY. % The) Art of Conve^rsation. To converse well requires more than mere in- formation or knowledge, combined with a ready facility of expression. There must also be sound judgment and a good heart, for without these all other triumphs are hollow and delusive. Our con- versation should be such as will be agreeable t@ others ; the subject of it should be appropriate t® the time, place and company, and we should avoid all bitterness, all thoughtless criticisms, all un- seemly ridicule, and the heartlessness which wounds the feelings and disturbs the peace of those who listen to us, — and then our presence will be wel- comed, and we shall diffuse pleasure and promote friendship. All the resources of tact and wisdom may be summoned into action in the exercise of our colloquial powers. An ancient philosopher made it a rule to divide the day into several parts, appointing each part to its proper engagement, and one of these was devoted to silence wherein to study what to say. What innumerable heart-burn- ings ; what a multitude of quarrels ; what a host of local feuds would be avoided, if this wise rule were universally followed ! When * ' SmaIvVTat^k " is TimkIvY. One of the first requisites of conversation is t® have something worth saying. Lowell once said, ** Blessed are they who have nothing to say, and cannot be persuaded to say it ; " and another re- marked, '* There are few wild beasts to be dreaded more than a communicative man with nothing to communicate." Clearly, this might be aimed at the small-talk habits of some. Carlyle, in his rugged, vigorous style, expresses himself quite as strongly to the same point : *' Thou who wearest that cunning, heaven-made organ, a 90 HOW TO BEHAVE. tongue, think well of this : Speak not, I passion- ately entreat thee, till thy thought have silently matured itself, till thou have other than mad and mad-making noises to emit ; hold thy tongu^ till some meaning lie behind it to set it wagging. Con- sider the significance of SiIvEnce: ; it is boundless, "—never by meditating to be exhausted ; unspeak- ably profitable to thee ! Cease that chaotic hub-bub wherein thy own soul runs to waste, to confused suicidal dislocation and stupor ; out of silence comes strength. " The ground-work of conversation is knowledge of the subject under consideration, and without this words are but useless sounds. Yet there are conditions in which a vigorous flow of ** small- talk,'* we talk with no particular object or value. Live to enliven and keep in good humor, is most desirable. M0NOPOI.IZING Tai^kkrs. An eminent clergyman once administered this rebuke to a young" lady, who absorbed the en- tire time of the company by her small talk : *' Madam, before you withdraw, I have one piece ®f advice to give you, and that is, when you go into company again, after you have talked half an hour without intermission, I recommend it to you to stop awhile, and see if any other of the company has anything to say." There are few persons of such rare learning and ability that one can afford, when in their company, to be only a listener. There is a Chinese proverb that *' a single conver- sation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years' study with books.'* But how com- paratively few good talkers there are, and how lightly is the art esteemed. And yet, will it not always be true that '' Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in pictures of silver? " BNJOY YOUR YOUTH. 91 A Point on Being Wei^i. Drkssejd. A celebrated English divine once said to a lady : ** Madam, so dress and so conduct yourself, that persons who have been in your company shall not recollect what you had on." To be well dressed does not necessarily mean that your apparel should be a copy of the latest whim of fashion, or made of the costliest material. That person is well dressed whose attire shows a suitableness to cir- cumstances of time and place, and the position and means of the wearer. Neglect and inattention to the small externals of dress should be carefully guarded against. Enjoy Your Youth. Youth comes to us but once ; it is the season of golden hopes, of overflowing spirits and of joyous anticipations, and so it demands surround- ings suited to these emotions. You may require no recreation but such as your business and daily toil supply ; your mind may be absorbed in your plans and schemes, which appear to you of almost as much importance as the affairs of an empire, and with this you are satisfied ; but, if so, your eyes are not young eyes, and your heart must have long ago been dead to the voices of your youth, to expect that j^our children will be contented and happy, unless you respond to some of the impulses of their joyous natures. If you have not already the refining power of music in your little circle, procure a piano or organ, and encourage your children to sing and play. Surround yourself with a little social circle of your own. Adorn your walls with pictures and thus cultivate a love of art ; subscribe to a standard magazine or two, and provide them with such books as will give them glimpses of what is going on in the world around them. 92 HOW TO BEHAVE. The Superior Hostess. A superior hostess does not make her house a spectacle. She infuses into her hospitalities the charm of comfort and purity, the sweetness of friendship, the sacredness of the relation between the entertainer and the entertained ; and between herself and even the humblest of her guests there is a recognizable tie which is as dissimilar to that which fastens her interest to another guest as its variation is charming. A UsEEuiy Hint. At an evening visit or entertainment, if the in- vited person departs before the usual and specified hour, he and she should omit formal adieus, if possible, to avoid putting the thoughts of an un- usually early departure into the minds of other guests ; but if an unnoticed departure is impossi- ble, the leave-taking should be quietly done, the hostess expressing her regret at the early depart- ure, but on no account can she request a delay that some necessity has demanded. It would be as un- kind as it would be indelicate to urge a guest to inconvenience himself for the sake of keepmg a crowd intact at a fashionable crush, or even at a small party. HOW TO AMUSE. Till DvNLiN re (_ Place the egg (which should be hard-boiled, not raw) upon the under-side of a smooth tray, and move the tray round and round horizontally, gradually increasing in speed. The egg^ resting in the middle of the tray, is carried round and round by the movement, and gradually begins to revolve on its own axis, faster and faster, till at last it is seen to rise on end, and spin away ex- actly as a top would do. In all experiments involving egg-balancing, you will find it a material aid to success to keep the egg upright in the saucepan while it is being boiled. The air-chamber will, in such case, be kept central with the longer axis of the egg, which will in consequence be much more easily balanced. To set the egg spinning as above described de- mands a considerable amount of practice, not to (93) 94 HOW TO AMUSB. mention some strength, and, still more, address. For the benefit of those who may prefer to succeed at the first attempt, I will indicate a simpler plan of proceeding : — . . .^ • ^ Place the tray on the table, letting it project so far over the edge as to be readily and rapidly grasped by the hand. Place the egg m the middle, and with the thumb of the left and the first finger of the right hand placed at opposite ends, set it vigorously spinning. It will immediately rise on end, still spinning. Quickly seize the tray, and you will then have nothing to do but to keep the egg still rotating, which is a very easy matter This is done by moving the tray m horizontal circles, but in the reverse direction to that m which the egg revolves. Th:e^ O1.D FamiIvY Coach. Miss Annie and Clara and the Little Dog de- cided to take a ride in the Family Coach, so, whip in hand, the fat Coachman shut the Door, mounted the box, the Little Dog barked, when they entered the Family Coach, and almost fell among the Wheels. Miss Clara and Annie scolded the Coachman for being so careless in starting the Family Coach too soon, and putting the Little Dog in danger of falling among the Wheels Final y the Coachman cracked his whip and the Family Coach started in good shape, the I^ittle Dog bark- ing furiously. Everything went well with the Family Coach for a few miles, till the Coachman spied a pretty girl on the road He kept looking after her and did not see that he was putting the Family Coach and horses in danger, when crash ! went the Family Coach. Miss Clara and Miss Annie screamed, the Little Dog barked ; tbe Coach- man shouted, the Wheels went m different direc- ttons, and the Axle, the Whiffle Tree and all the the; gamk of quotations. 95 parts of the Family Coach were left in a heap in the road, in care of the Coachman, while Miss Clara, Miss Annie and the Little Dog went home on foot. Such were the adventures of the Family Coach. Assemble the company, and give to each one of the names that are capitalized in the first para- graph, four being Wheels, two Axles, one the Whiffle Tree and one the Door, the names of the ladies to two, and select the tallest person in the room for the Little Dog. After all the names of all the parts are given, some one stands in the m.iddle of the floor and reads the Adventures of the Family Coach. Each time the Family Coach is mentioned every one in the room should rise, turn around three times, and sit down again. When the wheels are mentioned, four persons bearing the names of Wheels also rise, turn around three times, and sit down. The Little Dog barks, the Coachman shouts, the two ladies bow when their names (Miss Clara and Miss Annie), are called. There is great fun when the Little Dog is called on re- peatedly to rise, turn, and sit down again. When the Horses are mentioned four persons also rise, turn around, etc. , and so until disaster overtakes the Coach. This game causes much merriment, and general good feeling. Thk Game oi^ Quotations. All the members of the company being seated, each is provided with pencil and paper. Some one gives a quotation, while the other players write the speaker's name upon their papers, and oppo- site it the name of the author from whom they believe he has quoted. After each in turn has given a quotation, the papers are collected and re-distributed, care being taken that no one shall receive his own. Then each repeats the quotation 96 HOW TO amuse:. originally given, this time adding the name of the author; the other players correcting mean- while the papers held by them. The person who has given the largest number of authors correctly wins a prize. For example, the first player rises and says : Colors seen by candle-light Do not look the same by day. The next says : Handsome is that handsome does. And so on until all have given quotations. When the papers are exchanged, No. i, again ris- ing says : Colors seen by candle-light Do not look the same by day. Mrs. Browning. No. 2: Handsome is that handsome does. Goldsmith. And so on through the list. If any player has substituted some other name for Browning or Goldsmith, or has failed to write the name of any author, it must be marked as incorrect. One player then collects and compares all the papers and announces the winner of the contest. Crambo. Bach member of the party is provided with paper and pencil, also with two small cards or slips of paper, upon one of which is to be written a question and on the other a single word. The questions and words are collected separately and re- distributed, whereupon each player must answer in rhyme the question he has drawn, introducing into the rhyme the word on the other card. The PICTURED QUOTATIONS. 97 time is limited to five minutes, and when this has expired, each reads aloud the result of his labors, first giving the question and word received. To make the game more interesting it is sometimes required that the word received shall be made a rhyming word. Here is an example : A writes for his question "Where is the end of the rain- bow?" and for his single word "goose." In the allotted time he writes the following : You ask where the end of the rainbow is found; Just answer yourself if you can, sir. For ' ' anser' ' in Latin in English means * * goose/' And I'm not such a goose as to answer. Pictured Quotations. At the top of a half sheet of paper (each player having one), a picture is rudely drawn illustrating some quotation. When all the drawings are fin- ished each player passes his paper to his right- hand neighbor, who writes his interpretation of the picture at the bottom of the paper, turning the paper over to conceal the writing and passing it on to the next player. When each has written on all the papers and they have returned to their owners, they are unfolded and their contents read aloud, the correct quotation being given last. As an instance, A draws a casement window through which is seen a face gazing at a cluster of stars. The paper is passed to No. i, and he writes as his interpretation : In the prison cell I sit, thinking mother dear of you. No. 2 writes : Mabel, little Mabel, with her face against the pane. 98 HOW TO AMUSE. None guess correctly, so A explains tliat it illustrates this couplet from Tennyson's ' ' Locksley Hall:'^ Many a nigM from yonder ivied casement ere I went to rest, Have I looked on great Orion sloping slowly to- ward the West. Cross Questions. The company is divided into two equal parts, and blank cards and pencils are distributed. One side writes questions on any subject desired, v^hile the other prepares in like manner a set of hap- hazard answers. The question cards are then col- lected and distributed to the players on the other side, while their answers are divided among the questioners. The leader holding a question then reads it aloud, the first player on the other side reading the answer he holds. Some of the answers are highly amusing. Thk Game oi^ Rhymes. A variation of the former game. The game is begun by a young lady or gentleman speaking a single line, to which the next nearest on the left must respond with another line to rhyme with the first. The next player gives a new line, of the same length, and the fourth supplies a rhyme in turn, and so on. The game is provocative of any amount of fun and nonsense. A sample may be given. ist Player. — I think I see a brindle cow. 2d Player. — It's nothing but your dad's bow wow. ^ ^ ^ ^ 3d Player.— He is chasing our black Tommy cat. 4th Player. — Poor puss had best get out of that, etc. Any amount of nonsense may be indulged m a FRENCH RHYMES. 99 game o^ this sort, within proper limits. Clever players can easily give the game a most interest- ing turn and provoke rhymes that are original and witty. Thus, a subject once started, every phase of it may be touched upon before the round closes. Thk Fivk-Straw Puzzi^e;. You are supplied with five straws of equal length (about three and a half inches), and you are re- %.. quired to lift all five, holding only the tip of one of them. A glance will show you the arrangement of the ^Ye little straws and the coin in their cen- tre, which is, as will be seen, as simple as possi- ble — ^when you know it. The use of the coin is an optional addition. It wedges all tight, and prevents the straws slipping when once put together; but it is by no means indispensable. Fre^nch Rhymes. Each member of the company writes upon a slip of paper two words that rhyme. These are collected by one player and read aloud, and as loo HOW TO AMUSB. they are read everybody writes them down upon new papers. Five or ten minutes being allowed, each player must write a poem introducing all the rhyming words in their original pairs. At the expiration of the given time the lines are read aloud. Suppose the words given are ''man and than, " * ' drops and copse, ' ' " went and intent, ' * etc., these are easily framed into something like this: Once on a time a brooklet drops, With splash and dash, through a shady copse; One day there chanced to pass a man, Who, deeming water better than Cider, down by the brooklet went, To dip some up was his intent. Of course the result is nonsense, but it is pleas- ant nonsense, and may be kept up indefinitely, to the entertainment of the participants. Wh:e:rk's Your IvKTT:eR Going ? All being seated, two of the company are chosen, one for postmaster, the other for carrier. The Postmaster gives the name of some city to each person, writing the names down upon paper as they are given. The carrier, blindfolded, stands in the middle of the room and the postman calls : * ' I have a letter to go from Philadelphia to St. Louis. ' ' As the names are mentioned, the persons repre- senting these cities change places, the carrier at the same time trying to catch one of them. If he succeeds, and can, while blindfolded, give the name of the captured player, the latter becomes -carrier in turn. When the postman says : " I have letters to go all over the world, ' ' everybody rises and changes places, and if in the confusion the carrier captures a seat, the player who remains standing becomes carrier in turn. THE DIVIDED PBAR. loi Thk Divided Pear. I02 HOW TO AMUSK. Problem : To find the position in which a knife must be held that a pear, suspended high up near to the ceiling, shall, on the severing of the thread to which it is attached, so fall as to cut itself in half upon the blade. There is no necessity for line or plummet ; we need only dip the suspended pear in a glass of water, which we forthwith re- move. The water drips from it ; we note the exact spot on floor or table where the drops fall, and make a private mark on such spot. This is done privately beforehand, so that the company, on their arrival, find the pear suspended in readiness for the feat, and know nothing of the tell-tale ' ' drop. ' ' At the proper moment you hold the knife, edge upward, immediately over the point which you have marked, while some one applies a lighted match to the thread. If you have duly followed our instructions, the pear, in falling, should cut itself in half upon the blade. For the experiment as above described one knife only is used ; but it may also be performed with two knives, as shown in our illustration. The: Game) oe^ Bouquk'T. Each player composes in turn a bouquet of three different flowers, that he names aloud to the per- son conducting the play. The leader then writes the names of the flowers, and after them the names of three persons in the room. He then demands of the player w^ho has composed the bouquet, what he intends doing with the flowers, and upon their proposed disposition being de- clared, the names of the three persons they repre- sent are read aloud. KXAMPI^K. Leader. — **Miss A, choose three flowers.*' Miss A. — ' ' A rose, an aster and a pansy. ' * TONGUB TWISTERS. 103 L. — "I have written them. Now what will you do with the rose?" A. — ' ' I will throw it out of the window. ' * L. — '*And the aster?" A. — ' ' I will put it in a vase. ' ' L. — ''And the pansy?" A. — ''I will always keep it near me. " ly. — ' ' Very well. You have thrown Mr. A out of the window, put Mr. B in a vase and expressed a desire to keep Mr. C always near you. ' ' The Ai,!,- Around S'Tory Game. This is a very entertaining game and productive of general merriment, if conducted at all cleverly by the players. One person in the room begins to relate a story, and after telling enough to inter- est his hearers and arouse their curiosity, suddenly breaking off, throws a knotted handkerchief at some other member of the party, calling upon him to continue the narrative. This is kept up as long as possible, the more absurd and improb- able the plot of the story the better. If any one fails to respond upon receiving the handkerchief, he or she must pay a forfeit. ToNGUE-TwiS'TERS. The amusing game of tongue-twisters is played thus: The leader gives out a sentence (one of the following), and each repeats it in turn, any player who gets tangled up in the pronunciation, having to pay forfeit. A haddock! a haddock! a black-spotted had- dock, a black spot on the black back of the black- spotted haddock. She sells sea shells. She stood at the door of Mr. Smith's fish-sauce «hop, welcoming him in. I04 HOW TO AMUSE). The sea ceaseth and it sufficeth us. Six thick thistle sticks. The flesh of freshly fried flying fish. A growing gleam glowing green. I saw Ksau kissing Kate, the fact is we all three saw ; I saw Ksau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Ksau. Swan swam over the sea ; swim, swan, swim ; swan swam back again ; well swum, swan. You snuff shop snuif, I snuff box snuff. The bleak breeze blighted the bright broom blossoms. High roller, low roller, rower. Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and oyster. Did Oliver Oglethorp ogle an owl and oyster? If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and oyster, where are the owl and oyster Oliver Oglethorp ogled? Hobbs meets Snobbs and Nobbs ; Hobbs bobs to Snobbs and Nobbs ; Hobbs nobs with Snobbs and robs Nobbs' fob. ''That is," says Nobbs, "the worse for Hobbs' jobs, "and Snobbs sobs. Susan shines shoes and socks ; socks and shoes shine Susan. She ceaseth shining shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shock Susan. Robert Rowley rolled a round roll round ; a round roll Robert Rowley rolled round. Where rolled the round roll Robert Rowley rolled round? Strict, strong Stephen Stringer snared slickly six sickly, silky snakes. To Bai^anck a Pkncii. on its Point. Dig the blade of a half open penknife into a pencil, a little above the point, and to open or close the blade, little by little, till you find that the balance is obtained. The combination of pen- cil and penknife thus placing itself in equilibrio is an illustration of a familiar law of mechanics ; the centre of gravity of the combination falls below TO BAIvANCS A PKNCIIy. 105 the point of support (the finger, edge of the table, or the like), and thus stable equilibrium is ob« tained. By varying the degree of opening of the pen- knife, you impart corresponding degrees of in- clination to the pencil. When the centre of io6 HOW TO AMUSK. gravity of the two combined falls in the same line as the axis of the pencil, the latter v/ill assume a perpendicular position. My Grandi^athkr'S Trunk. A great game for young folks of a winter even- ing. The company being seated in a circle, some- body begins by saying, for instance : No. I. ''I pack my grandfather's trunk with a pair of spectacles. ' ' No. 2. '*I pack my grandfather's trunk with a pair of spe":tacles and a silk hat. " No. 3. ' I pack my grandfather's trunk with a pair of spectacles, a silk hat and a dime novel. ' * And so on, each person repeating all the articles already mentioned, beside adding a new one. If any one fails to repeat the list correctly, he drops out of the game, which is continued until the contents of the trunk are unanimously declared too numerous to remember. How, When and Where. One member of the company leaving the room, a word admitting of more than one interpretation is chosen by the others. On his return, he asks each in succession, "How do you like it?" The player questioned being required to give an appro- priate answer. He then inquires in similar man- ner, "When do you like it?" and if the answer to that question still give him no clue, proceeds to ask, "Where do you like it?" When he at last discovers the word, the person whose answer has furnished him with the most information, must in turn leave the room and become the questioner. We will suppose the word chosen to be "rain, ** which can also be taken as "reign" or "rein." DRIVB A NKEDIvK THROUGH A CKNT. 107 The question "How do you like it?" receives the answers ' ' tight, " ' * heavy, " * ' short, ' ^ * ' warm, ' ' etc. The question ''When do you like it?" **In summer, " " When I am driving, " ' ' In the nine- teenth century, ' ' etc. * ' Where do you like it?" * ' In Kngland, " ' ' On a horse, " * ' In the sky, ' ' etc. "I IvOVE) My IvOVe:. " A pretty game and a prime favorite with coun- try lads and lasses. The leader commences by saying, *'I love my love with an 'A' because she is Angelic, because her name is Araminta and because she lives in Atlanta. I will give her an Amethyst, feed her upon Almonds and make her a bouquet of Anemones. ' ' The next player, tak- ing the letter " B, " loves Jiis love in the same set of phrases, only because she is Bewitching, her name is Belinda, etc. The next takes ' ' C, " and so on through the alphabet, omitting the letter X* Any one failing to supply the required words promptly gives a forfeit. To Driv:ej a Ne:e;di,:^ Through a Cejnt. To drive a needle through a cent, particularly if the needle be a fine one, seems at first sight an impossibility. It is, however, a very easy matter, if you set about it in the right way. Thrust the needle through a cork, allowing the point to pro- ject slightly, and then, with a pair of cutting- pliers, nip off all that remains exposed at the opposite end. Place cork and cent as shown in our illustration, or simply let the coin rest on a piece of soft wood, and hammer away vigorously on the top of the cork. The needle, being steel, is harder than the bronze of the coin, and the cork preventing it lo8 HOW TO AMUSE. from bending to either side, it may be driven through the cent, or any other coin of like sub- stance, with perfect ease. The cork should be kept in position with the left hand, while receiving the blows of the ham- mer. Provkrbs. This game requires the players to be alert and on the watch for the words that give the clue to the solution. One player (A) having gone from the room, a proverb is selected by the others, of which each person takes a separate word, in order. The absent player then being recalled, pro- ceeds to question the others singly, each introduc- ing in his answer the word of the proverb he has previously received. Suppose the proverb selected to be * ' Nothing venture nothing have, * ' the game would proceed thus : TOSSING THE RINGS. 109 A. **Is the proverb a long one?'* 1st Player. ' * Nothing should be too long for you to guess. ' ' A. **Have you ever played this game before?' ' 2d P. * ' Really I cannot venture to say. ' ' A. ** Are you fond of parlor games?" 3d P. * ' Nothing pleases me more. ' * A. **Are you enjoying yourself this evening?" 4th P. **I have enjoyed myself thus far. " If A has not by this time guessed the proverb, he continues his questions until enlightened, when the player whose answer has given him the most information goes from the room. Rather a noisy way of playing the same game is to have all the players at a given signal shout their words in unison, leaving the listener to dis- tinguish in the uproar some word that shall give him a clue to the proverb. The shouting is repeated as often as desired until he is successful. In either modification of the game the player whose answer or word leads the questioner to dis- covery becomes the one to go from the room. Tossing "run Rings. Fasten securely a stick two feet long and an inch or more in diameter to the centre of a block of wood or piece of board, so that the block forms a substantial base for the stick, which should be slightly tapered at its upper end. Make out of wire six hoops or rings, three of them nine inches in diameter, two of them seven inches, and one five inches. They should be heavy enough to toss easily, perhaps half an inch in thickness. Wind these with cloth torn into strips, fastening the ends with needle and thread. Use three colors of the cloth, the rings of each size being the same color. Red, white and blue make a pretty com- bination, using red for the largest size, white for the next, and blue for the one small one. Now set no HOW TO AMUSE. the standard at some distance from the plaj'-ers, and the game begins. One player takes all the rings and tosses them one at a time over the up- right stick. For each of the large rings which he succeeds in getting upon the standard, he counts ten ; for each of the next size, fifteen ; and for the smallest one, twenty-five. Any number agreed upon maybe called a game, and the player first obtaining that number of counts wins. After one player has thrown all the 4"ings, another player takes them, tossing them in the same way. Any number of players may take part in the game. When once around, the first one tosses again, and so on until the game is out. For small children, five or six feet is far enough to toss the rings, but larger ones may increase the distance. Magic Figures. Upon a little square of ordinary writing-paper, sketch some geometrical figure — square, rectangle, triangle, polygon, etc.— using for that purpose a pencil whose tip has been moistened with water. THB FORCE OF THK BREATH. iii Float the paper, with the design upward, on the water in a basin, and fill up with water the figure you have traced. With a little care you may do this without difficulty, for the lines of moisture which form the outlines of your figure (a triangle, we will suppose) will prevent the liquid overpass- ing the limits thereby defined. The water thus enclosed will rise in a little heap. Now take a pin, and placing the point at any spot you please within the triangle, in such manner that the point dips into the water but does not touch the paper itself, you will see the paper begin to move hori- zontally in a straight line until the geometric centre of the triangle places itself exactly under the point of the pin. You can readily determine beforehand this central point, which we will call A, and holding the pin as shown in the engrav- ing, you will find that the paper travels in the direction shown by the arrow, till A comes just under the point of the pin, when it will stop of its own accord. Repeat the experiment with a square or a rectangle, and you will find that the spot which is beneath the pin-point, when the paper comes to a standstill, is precisely the point of intersection of the two diagonals. Thk Forck o-^ the Breath. When you blow into a paper bag in order to swell it out, afterward bursting it with a blow to produce the familiar * ' bang, ' ' have you ever stopped to ask yourself what was the precise force of your breath? You know that such force can be measured by the instrument known as the spiro- meter, which you occasionally see at a railway station or a country fair. But a simple paper bag may be made to answer the purpose of the spiro- meter, as I propose to explain. ^ The bag must be rather long and narrow, air- tight, and of thin, tough paper. A bullock's 112 HOW TO AMUSE). bladder will answer the purpose still better. A tube should be inserted in the neck, through which to blow. Lay it flat, near the edge of a table, with the mouth turned toward yourself; place various weights upon it, increasing by de- grees, and you will be surprised at the weight that your breath will thus lift. To upset a couple of big dictionaries, placed one upon the other, will be mere child's play, as you will find on putting the matter to the test. Hunt the Ring. All the players stand in a circle holding a long cord, which forms an endless band upon which a ring has been slipped before it was joined at the ends. This ring is passed rapidly from one player to another — always on the cord and concealed by the hand — while somebody in the centre endeavors to seize the hands of the person who holds it, who when actually caught takes his place within the •circle. MAGIC MUSIC. 113 If tlie circle is very large two rings may be slipped, upon the cord, and two players placed in the centre together. A small key may be used instead of a ring, while still another variation is to have the concealed object a small whistle with a ring attached. When this is adopted an amusing phase of the game is to secretly attach a string to the whistle and fasten this to the back of the player in the centre by means of a bent pin at the other end of the string. Then while feigning to pass the whistle from hand to hand, it is occasionally seized and blown upon by some one in the ring, toward whom the victim is at that moment turning his back, causing that individual to be greatly puzzled. Shadow Buf'i''. A sheet being stretched across one end of the room, one of the players is seated upon a low stool facing it and with his eyes fixed upon it. The only light in the room must be a lamp placed upon a table in the centre of the room. Between this lamp and the person on the stool, the players pass in vSuccession, their shadows being thrown upon the sheet in strong relief. The victim of the moment endeavors to identify the other play- ers by their respective shadows, and if he suc- ceeds the detected party must take his place. It is allowable to make detection as difficult as possible by means of any available disguise that does not conceal the whole person, any grimacing, contortion of form, etc. Magic Music. A beautiful game, which amuses even the mere spectator as much as it does the actual players. One of the company sits at the piano while another leaves the room. The rest of the party then hide 114 HOW TO AMUSE. some article previously agreed upon and recall the absent player. At his entrance the pianist begins playing some lively air very softly ; keeping up a sort of musical commentary upon his search, play- ing louder as he approaches the goal, and softer when he wanders away from it. In this way he is guided to at last discover the object of his search. Going "To Jerusai^km. This is another piano game, but does not require so much skill as the former. One person goes ta the piano, while the others arrange in a line as many chairs, less one, as there are players; the chairs alternately facing opposite directions. Then as the pianist begins to play, the others commence marching around the line of chairs, keeping time to the music. When this suddenly ceases, every- body tries to sit down, but as there is one less chair than players, somebody is left standing and , must remain out of the game. Then another chair is removed and the march continued, until the chairs decrease to one and the players to two. Whoever of these succeeds in seating himself as the music stops, has won the game. Bkan-Bags. A game of skill, the equivalent of parlor quoits. It is played with bean-bags and a board three feet long and two feet wide, elevated at one end by another board to an angle of thirty degrees, and having some six inches from the top an opening about five inches square. Station this board at one end of a long room and divide the company equally. Bight bean-bags are all that are required. The leader of one side begins. Standing at a suitable distance from the board, he endeavors to throw the bags, one at a time, through the square opening. Kvery bag that reaches the goal counts BIvIND-MAN'S BUFF. 115 ten, every one that lodges upon the board five, and every one that falls to the ground outside of the board a loss of ten. Suppose A to have put two bags through the opening (twenty), and two upon the board (ten), — that is a gain of thirty — but the other four bags falling to the ground makes a loss of forty, so his real score is a loss of ten. B puts four through the opening (forty), three upon the board (fifteen), and one upon the ground (ten), which gives him a gain of forty-five. The sides play alternately, and after three rounds for each, the scores, which have been carefully kept by one member of the party, are balanced, and the side having the greatest gain declared winners. A prize may be given for the highest individual score. Throwing ^hk Handkkrchikf. A very old and still quite popular game. The company being seated around the room in a cir- cle, some one stationed in the centre throws an unfolded handkerchief to one of the seated play- ers. Whoever receives it must instantly throw it to some one else, and so on, while the person in the centre endeavors to catch the handkerchief in its passage from one player to another. If he catches it, as it touches somebody, that person must take his place in the centre. If it is caught in the air the player whose hands it last left enters the circle. The handkerchief must not be knotted or twisted, but thrown loosely. Bi.ind-Man's Bui^f. A player is led blindfolded into the middle of the room, taken by the shoulders, and turned around three times, after which he must catch k Ii6 HOW TO AMUSB. somebody to replace him. As he is being turned, the others say : *' How many horses have you in your father's stable?'' *' Three; black, white and gray." * * Turn about, and turn about, and catch whom you may. ' ' This game belongs to many countries, and is known by many different names. It is *' Blind Cow" in Germany; "Blind Goat" in Sweden; *' Blind Mouse" in South Germany and Servia; "'Blind Hen" in Spain ; ''Blind Fly, " or "Blind Cat," in Italy. To the English name, "Blind- man's Buff, " correspond the Polish "Blind Old Man, ' ' and the Norwegian * ' Blind Thief. ' ' A familiar variation makes this a ring-game. The blindfolded person stands in the centre, with a staff, while the ring circles about him. When he strikes the floor three times, the ring must pause. The person in whose direction he points miust grasp the staff, and utter some sound, dis- guising the voice as much as possible. The first must then guess the name from the sound. This form of the game is called ' ' Peg in the Ring. ' ' A QUKE:r CANDI.KSTICK. Take a short piece of candle, and into its lower end thrust, by way of ballast, a nail. * You should choose a nail of such a size that the candle-end shall be all but immersed, the water just rising to its upper edge, though not so high as to over- flow the top and wet the wick. Now, light the candle, and you may safely make a wager that, in spite of the apparently unfavorable circumstances in which it is placed, it will burn completely to the end. This may, at first sight, appear a rash assertion, but after a little reflection, you will see how the arrangement works. The candle, of course, grows TO WEIGH A IvETTER. 117 shorter as it burns, and it seems therefore as if the water must overflow the top and reach the wick ; but on the other hand, it grows proportion- ately lighter, and therefore rides higher in the water. Further, the external surface of the candle, kept cool by the surrounding liquid, melts much more slowly than it would in the open air, so that the flame hollows out for itself a sort of little well, as represented in the right-hand corner of our illus- tration. This hollowing process further lightens the candle, and the wick will, as you have stated, burn to the very end. To Weigh a Lkttkr with a Broomstick. For the purpose of weighing light objects as, for instance, a letter, a very delicate balance is Ii8 HOW TO AMUSE. required; and as such we recommend to our read- ers our new broomstick letter-weighing machine. Cut off the end of an ordinary broom-handle, to a length of about ten inches, and plunge it into a tall glass jar full of water — first, however, weight- ing it at bottom in such manner that about seven inches of its length shall be under water. Attach to the upper end, by means of a tack, an ordinary visiting card. This will form the tray or scale of the apparatus — and behold your weighing- machine, complete. All that remains to be done is to graduate it. Place on the scale a one-ounce weight, note how far the stick sinks, and mark thereon, with a very black pencil, the point where it meets the surface of the water. BOSTON. 119 The apparatus being so far graduated, take off the weight, and lay on the card, in its stead, the letter you desire to weigh. If the pencil mark remains above the surface of the water, your letter weighs less than an ounce, and two cents will pay the postage ; if, on the contrary, the mark sinks below the surface, your letter is over-weight, and you must pay accordingly. The Taii^IvESS Donkey. An amusing game at which any size of part|^ may play and enjoy it for hours. Cut a large fig- ure of a donkey, minus a tail, from dark paper or cloth, and pin it upon a sheet stretched tightly across a door-way. Bach player is given a piece of paper, which would fit the donkey for a tail, if applied. On each tail is written the name of the person holding it. When all is ready, the players are blindfolded in turn — ^placed facing the donkey a few steps back in the room— then turned around rapidly two or three times and told to advance with the tail held at arm's length, and with a pin previously inserted in the end, attach it to the figure of the donkey wherever they first touch it. When the whole curtain is adorned with tails — (not to mention all the furniture, family portraits, etc., in the vicinity) — and there are no more to pin on, the person who has succeeded in fastening the appendage the nearest to its natural dwelling place, receives a prize, and the player who has given the most eccentric position to the tail entrusted to his care, receives the *' booby'* prize, generally some gift of a nature to cause a good-humored laugh. Boston. This is a variation of ** Blind Man's Buff," which is described elsewhere. Seat the company I20 HOW TO AMUSE. round the room and give each a number. Blind* fold one person and station him in the centre of the room, twirling him around several times so that he may successfully ' ' lose his bearings. ' * He must then call any two numbers included in the number of players, and the two people represent- ing them must at once rise and change places, while the *' blind man" endeavors to seize one of them. If he succeeds in doing this he must, while still b^lindfolded, identify the captive, who then in turn enters the circle. More than two numbers may be called at once, and when the ''blind man" calls out ''Boston!" and everybody changes places, he may, by slipping into a vacant seat during the confusion, find a substitute in the person left standing when all the chairs are occupied. What is Your Agk ? It is always a delicate thing to inquire a lady*s age, but the question in this game will offend nobody. There must be at least two people in the secret, and one of them leaves the room. Some- body in the company tells his age to the others, and the absent player is recalled. Everybody is at liberty to question him, but he only pays atten- tion to the one player he knows holds the secret of the game, and from the first letters of the words introducing the remarks of this person he takes his cue— the first ten letters of the alphabet stand- ing for the ten figures, i, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, o. A goes from the room and B asks for somebody's age. C volunteers, " I am twenty-five. ' ' A being then recalled, there is a universal demand from the company for the required age, and a great deal of doubt expressed as to his ability to guess it. During the general confusion, B hastily says: **Be sure before you speak," and then again r ROOSTKR. 121 **Knough thinking. Tell ns now. ' * Whereupon, A, guided by the first letter, "b, '* of the first remark, and the *'e" of the second, which he knows represents the digits **two" and *^£.yq^^ respectively, quickly says "twenty-five/* What, Sir? Me:, Sir? One player says to another : **Mr. Brown, I saw you on Broadway.'* Whereupon Mr. Brown says : *'What, sir? Me, sir?'' The other replies : *^Yes, sir; you, sir. '* * * Oh ! no, sir, not I, sir. ' ' **Who then, sir?'* *'Mr. Smith, sir." Mr. Smith immediately replies : *'What, sir? Me, sir?"^ And so on till each is mentioned in turn. Those who miss must pay a forfeit. At the end of the game all the forfeits are redeemed. Horse:. The players are seated around the room. One person pretends to whisper to each of the others in turn the name of a different animal. After naming them all, he must call out the name of some one animal, and the person having that name must run out at the door. Having given the whole company the name of horse, he calls horse whereupon they all make a simultaneous rush for the door. A narrow door should be chosen, if possible. Roostkr. This is a short game, reaching a quick conclu- sion and exciting a hearty laugh. Tell everybody in the room that j^ou will give to each in a 122 HOW TO AMUSE. whisper, the name of some animal, whose pecu- liar cry they are to imitate in concert at a given signal. To all but one person the simple charge to *'keep perfectly silent" is given. Upon that one is bestowed the name of ''Roostei." Then saying, * * All be ready when I say three ! ' * Count * * one, two, three, ' * when a lusty crow from the victim of the joke, and a laugh from the others, tell him that the general amusement has been at his expense. CONSE^QUKNCKS. The players are each provided with a slip of paper and a pencil. Bach must write the name of some gentleman (who is known to the party), turn down the end of the paper on which the name is written, and pass the paper to the next neighbor. All must then write the name of some lady (also known), then change the papers again and write * ' where they met, " ' * what he said, ' ' * * what she said," *'what the world said," and '*the conse- quences, * ' always passing the papers on. When all are written, each player must then read his paper. Mr. Jones And Miss Smith Met on a roof He said, *'I trust you are not afraid. " She said, **Not while you are here." World said, ' ' It's a match. ' ' Consequences, **He sailed for Africa next morning,*' etc. Mesmerizing. This may be made very amusing, although no actual mesmerism is attempted. A member of the party announces that he has been declared to possess a vast amount of mesmeric power ; not enough to gain absolute control over a person, but TRUTH. 123 sufficient to at least prevent him from rising from a chair alone. His challenge being accepted by- some one, he seats his victim in a low chair and himself in a higher one close at hand. Then, solemnly demanding a complete relaxation of will power and a sober countenance on the part of the subject, he begins making passes with his hands, stroking the forehead of the person beside him, and otherwise imitating a genuine mesmerist. After a short time he quietly &ays : ''Now see if you can get up alone!" Of course, the subject rises to his feet at once, but so does the mesmerist, thus proving to the former that having risen simultaneously witk himself, he has surely failed to rise alone. Guessing Byks and Nosks. A sheet is fastened up between two doors. Holes are cut in it, and some of the party go behind the sheet and stand with their eyes at the holes, while the others must guess to whom the eyes belong. Failing to guess correctly they must give, a forfeit. Bkast, Bird or Fish. The players sit round in a circle, and one play- er, who is ' * it, ' ' points to some one, and says either '^ beast,'' ''bird," or "fish." He then counts ten as quickly as possible. The person pointed to must name some "beast," "bird," or "fish" (whichever he was asked) before ten is reached. If he fails, he must give a forfeit. Truth. The players pile up their hands, choose a num- ber, and draw out in turn, and the person who draws his or her hand from the pile at the num^ ber selected has to answer truly any questions put by the rest. 124 HOW TO AMUSB. NKKdIvKS and PinsMadk i^o Fi,oaT. Take an ordinary pin, thoronglily dry. This is an object which water can moisten, but less easily than glass. If, by some means or other, you can manage to lay it on the water without wetting it, you will see the water take a convex shape on either side of the pin, and this latter, displacing a proportionate body of water, will float on the surface, just as a lucifer match would do. The same experiment may be performed with a needle, and it must not be supposed that a very fine needle or pin alone is suitable. Shadows -^n the wall. (125) 126 HOW TO AMUSE. Hit or Miss. Great amusement is excited by this game when played in the presence of a company of guests. Spread a sheet upon the floor and place two chairs upf>n it. Seat two of the party in the chairs within reach of each other and blindfold them. Give each a saucer of cracker or bread crumbs and a spoon, then request them to feed each other. The frantic efforts of each victim to reach his fel- low sufferer's mouth is truly absurd— the crumbs finding lodgment in the hair, ears and neck much oftener than the mouth. Sometimes bibs are fastened around the necks of the victims for pro- tection. Going Shopping. A lively game of ''talk and touch.'' The com- pany is seated in a circle, and one who understands the game commences by saying to his neighbor at the right : *'I have been shopping.'* *'What did you buy?'' is the required response. "A dress," ''a book," ''some flowers," ''a pencil" — whatever the first speaker wishes, pro- vided always that he can, in pronouncing the word, touch the object mentioned. Then the second player addresses his neighbor in similar manner, and so on around the circle until the secret of the game is discovered by all. Whoever mentions an object without touching it, or names one that has already been given, pays a forfeit. The Three Matches. With your penknife slit one end of a match, and trim that of another into a wedge shape. In- sert this latter into the split end of the former, so that the two shall form an acute angle. Place THE THREE MATCHES, 127 them on the table, the angle upward, and prop them up by leaning another match against them, the whole forming a tripod, as shown in the fig- ure. Now hand a fourth match to one of the com- pany, and request him to lift with it the other three from the table. Such is the problem to be resolved. All that you have to do is to insert the fourth match just inside the point of the tripod^ between the two conjoined and the single match ; and with it to press the two joined matches lightly outward till the third falls with its upper end on the one you hold. You lower this till the end of the single match passes within the angle formed by the juncture of the two first. If you then raise the match you hold in your hand, the three others will ride astride upon it, the single match on the one side, the two joined matches on the other. The table used should have a cloth on it, that the lower ends of the matches may not slip. Some little 128 HOW TO AMUSE). •delicacy of handling is needful to make the single match fall just in the right position, but this once achieved, the three thus slightly supported might be carried a mile without any fear of dropping them. To Spin a Ce;nt Upon a N^kdi^k Point. Bend a hair-pin as shown in our illustration. Place a cent horizontally on the right-hand hook, which should be narrow enough to clip it closely, and hang upon the left-hand hook a tolerably heavy finger-ring (or two, if one is found insuffi- cient). Place the free edge of the coin on some upright point (that of a lady's bonnet-pin, for example), and you will find that the combination can be made to balance itself. Furthermore, by gently blowing upon the ring, you can set the SPIN TH:^ PLATE. 129 apparatus revolving rapidly, without any disturb- ance to its equilibrium. If you spin the cent upon a very sharp steel needle, you will find that the needle will at length work its way completely through the coin. You may therefore, if you please, propound your puz- zle in this rather striking form — How to bore a hole through a cent by merely blowing upon it. Counting Appi^k-s^Kds. This rhyme, formerly used in England, remains unchanged, except the omission of the last three lines. Apples were an essential part of every en- tertainment in the country. The apple, having been properly named for a person, with a pressure of the finger, was divided, to decide the fate of the person concerned according to its number of seeds. One, I love, Two, I love. Three, I love, I say. Four, I love with all my heart, And ^ve, I cast away ; Six, he loves, Seven, she loves. Eight, they both love; Nine, he comes, Ten, he tarries. Eleven, he courts. Twelve, he marries; Thirteen, wishes. Fourteen, kisses. All the rest little witches. Spin thej Pi,atk. A tin pie-plate is set spinning in the middle of the floor ; someone is called from the party, who must catch the plate before it stops, or pay a for- feit. I30 HOW TO AMUSE. IvlGHTiNG THK CaNDI,]^. This feat is a very amusing one and is performed as follows : Two persons kneel on the ground, fac- ing each other. Kach holds in his left hand a candle in a candlestick, at the same time grasping his right foot in his right hand. This position compels him to balance himself on his left knee. One of the candles is lighted ; the other is not. The holders are required to light the unlighted candle from the lighted one. The conditions are simple enough, but one would hardly believe how often the performers will roll over on the floor before they succeed in lighting the candle. It will be found desirable to spread a newspaper on the floor between the combatants. Many spots of candle-grease will thus be intercepted, and the peace of mind of the lady of the house proportion- ately spared. A Probi^em in Gymnastics. Place a low stool on the floor, close against the wall, and yourself facing the wall, with your feet distant from it just double the width of the stool. Stoop down and grasp the stool with one hand on either side, and rest your head against the wall. Now lift the stool from the floor, and slowly raise yourself to the erect position — or rather, endeavor to do so. It is better to try the experiment for the first time on a well-carpeted floor. On polished oak or parqueterie you would probably have a bad fall. We have here a curious effect of the displacement of the centre of gravity of the body, which renders it almost impossible to stand upright without first replacing the stool on the ground, and resting the hand upon it to get the needful support. THE GAME OF ClyUMPS. 131 Redeeming Foreeits. The girl who is to name the penalty by which the forfeit must be redeemed lays her face on the lap of another who sits on a chair, while a third, standing behind, holds the article over her head and asks : ^^Here is a forfeit, a very fine forfeit; what shall be done to redeem it?" **Is it fine or superfine?" (i. e. , does it belong to a gentleman or to a lady. ) The sentence is then declared. Another formula, used in the Middle and Southern States, is : * ' Heavy, heavy, what hangs over you?" The German usage is nearly the same, the ques- tion being: *' Judge, what is your sentence, what shall he do whose pledge I have in my hand?" Any proper penalty may be named. The Game oe I^ocation. Sides are chosen and the opposing parties stand in separate lines as for a spelling match. No. i of one side mentions the name of some city or town in any part of the globe, and No. i of the other side must locate it before his opponent has finished counting ten or twenty, as may be agreed. He then, in turn, names a city which No. 2 on the other side must locate. If anyone fails to give the correct location before the ^expiration of the ten counts, a member from the side he represents is chosen by the other. The Game oe Ci^umps. Sides are chosen, and a representative from each side goes from the room. After choosing the ob- ject to be guessed, they return, each going to his opponent* s side, where he is asked questions to be 132 HOW TO AMUSE. answered by ** yes ' * or *'no,'* concerning the ob- ject selected. The side which first guesses cor= rectly has the privilege of choosing a member from the opposing side. Then the successful guesser of one party and the player who has been most nearly successful on the other go from the room and choose a new subject. The two parties must be separated by some distance and the questioning carried on in a low voice, so that nothing said by one side can be heard by the other. An illustra- tion : For instance, the object chosen is the thumb on the right hand of the Washington Monument. Question. *' Does it belong to the animal king- dom ^ '' Answer. *'No." Q. *' To the mineral kingdom ? *' A. '^Yes." Q. ** Is it in existence now ? *' A. **Yes.»' Q. *^ Is it in this country ? '^ A. *'Yes,'' and so on until a successful termi- nation of the guessing is reached. Ant and Cricke:t. One of the company being appointed to repre- sent the Cricket, seats himself in the midst of the other players, who are the Ants, and writes upon a piece of paper the name of a certain grain, what- ever kind he pleases. He then addresses the first Ant : ** My dear neighbor, I am very hungry, and have come to you for aid. What wnll you give me ? " * * ^ grain of rice, a kernel of corn , a worm, ' * etc., replies the Ant, as he sees fit. The Cricket asks each in turn, and if one of them announces as his gift the word already written upon the paper, the Cricket declares himself satisfied and changes places with the Ant. GUESSING CHARACTERS. 133 If the desired word is not spoken, however, the sarae cricket keeps his place, scorning each article of food as it is suggested to him. In either case the form of the question changes, and the suppli- cant says: **My hunger is appeased and now I wish to dance. What dance do you advise ? '* He therefore writes the name of a dance upon his paper and the Ants advise in turn — ^^ A polka, a fandango, a ininuety^^ etc. The third Cricket de- clares himself unable to dance without music, and requests that a suitable instrument be recom- mended. ^' A lyrCy a kazoo ^ a mandolin ^^'' etc., say the Ants. The fourth Cricket, tired of dancing, wishes to- rest, and asks upon what he shall take his repose. ''^ A rose-leaf, the moss, the heart of a lily,'''* are all suggested, but unless the name he has previously written upon his paper is mentioned, he expresses- himself dissatisfied. The fifth and last Cricket confesses fear lest while sleeping he shall be,devoured by a bird, but requests advice concerning the choice of a de- stroyer. '^ A lark, a turtle-dove, a pigeon^'^ are thereupon mentioned by the Ants. By carefully selecting the most uncommon names for replies, the same Cricket may be kept through the entire set of questions. If the word written upon his paper, however, is mentioned in any case, he must show it to the unfortunate Ant^ to whom he surrenders his place. Guessing Charactj^rs. One of the party leaves the room while the others decide upon some character, real or fictitious. The absentee is then recalled, and each in turn asks him a question referring to the char- acter he has been elected to represent. When he guesses his identity the player whose question has 134 HOW TO AMUSE. thrown the most light upon the subject has to go from the room. For example : A goes from the room and the company decides that he shall represent King Henry VIII. When he enters, No. i asks : ** Which one of your wives did you love best?'* No. 2 says : *' Do you approve of a man's marry- ing his deceased brother's wife?*' No. 3 adds: ** Where you very sorry your brother died ? '* etc., while A, after guessing various names, is led by some question to guess correctly, and the fortunate questioner is consequently sent from the room to have a new character assigned him in turn. Thk Magic Candi^e^ Extinguishe;r. Cut out of thin cardboard a couple of little fig- ures, and insert in the mouth of each, fixing it, say, with sealing-wax, a piece of quill (a portion of a toothpick, for instance), through which he or she appears to be blowing. Fill each tube with sand, but leave a minute space empty at the end remote from the figure. In the cavity of the one place a few grains of gunpowder, and in the other a tiny morsel of phosphorus. The figures being thus privately prepared beforehand, you call for a lighted candle, and announce that the one figure will blow it out and the other relight it. The moment the tube with the powder is brought near the candle, the powder will ignite, and will produce an explosion of infinitesimal proportions, but large enough to blow out the candle and cause a jet of smoke in the direction of the second figure, which you hold in the opposite hand. The heat of the smoke will cause the phosphorus to ignite, and if you hold the tube which contains it pretty close to the wick, the candle will again be lighted. This is an experiment which should not be at- tempted by unskilled hands. Both gunpowder and A PARLOR ZOBTROPK. 135 phosphorus require to be handled with great care, but it might be possible to raake, out of thin paper, little cartridges containing a minute portion of each substance, to be introduced into the tubes as occasion required. Unless the reader has some practical knowledge of laboratory work, he should not attempt this experiment. The: Broken Mirror. The painters have given the last finishing touches to the room they have been redecorating, but be- fore leaving they cannot resist the temptation of & joke on whoever is sent to see that all is in order. Imagine the horror of the servant-girl when she sees a great crack, perhaps half a dozen, right across the big drawing-room mirror. Meanwhile, behind her back the workmen are smiling over her discomfiture. After having vsufficiently chuckled over the success of their innocent joke they offer to repair the damage, and, not to keep their victim longer in suspense, one of them takes a wet cloth and passes it over the supposed crack in the glass. Lo, a miracle ! The cracks disappear under the mere touch of the damp duster, and the glass is whole again. She can hardly believe her own eyes. And yet there is no witchcraft about the matter. If you are inclined to play a similar trick, you have only to trace, with a small piece of soap, on the mirror which is to appear broken, a few fine lines in imitation of cracks. Their reflection in the glass will give them depth, and make them seem as though they extended through the thick- ness of the glass, while a rub with a wet flannel will make all right again. A Pari^or Zoktrope). We have here the game of the ** little horses,'* so popular at Continental watering-places, brought 136 HOW TO AMUSE. in a simplified and innocent form within reach of everybody. Glue round the inside of the rim of a circular dish of white porcelain, a number of little cardboard figures of animals ; or simply sketch thereon, with ink, similar figures or numerals, equidistant from one another. Place the dish thus furnished, in an ordinary dish of somewhat larger size, and having its centre slightly elevated— a not uncommon pattern. You will only have to give a slight impulse with the hand to the smaller plate to set it spinning within the other. Should the larger dish not be raised in the centre, you have only to pour into it a little water, enough to make the inner dish just float, and it will then revolve with great freedom, the water practically destroy- ing all friction. You can repeat the same figure, but with, say, the arms in different positions, so that, when the plate is set spinning, you may have depicted, in due order, the successive positions of a man raising and lowering his arms. Thus, for example, if the first figure has his arms hanging down close by his sides, the next will have them a little further from the body ; the third will have them extended hori- zontally ; the next following a little higher ; and, finally, the last will have them raised above his head. Now peep, with one eye only, through a little hole made with a pin in a visiting-card or playing-card, and gaze at any given point of the circle described by the figures. When the dish is set in motion, you apparently see one figure only, but such figure seems to move like a living being, its arms appearing to take in succession the various positions which are really those of the separate figures. You may amuse yourself by thus arrang- ing several series of such figures, their positions varied in proper succession, thus reproducing, at merely nominal expense, the scientific toy known as the Zoetrope or Praxinoscope. SHADOWS ON THE WALL. i37 A WoNDERFui. Pin. Take a piece of cord elastic, and through it thrust a pin bent by twisting the ends of the elastic, held vertically between the thumb and finger of each hand and then drawing the hands apart, so as to stretch the cord, you can communicate to this lat- ter a movement so rapid that the revolutions of the pin shall produce the shape of a glass cup. The illusion will be the more complete n the pin is itself brilliantly illuminated, while hav- ing a dark background behind it, the operator should be in a darkened room, and a single ray of sunlight from without, should fall through a hole in the shutters, upon the pin. With a little skill m manipulation one can produce, using pms bent m different ways, the semblance of the most diverse objects- say, a cheese-dish, and aquarium, a bou- quet-holder, or a goblet. . ^ ^ r Should the form of the pin tend, by reason of centrifugal force, to make it assume a horizontal position, this can be cured by securing one end of It by means of fine white silk, to the elastic. This will usually be invisible when the pin is made t@ revolve as above described, and, in any case, will not affect the appearance of the figure. Shadows on the Wai.1:,. The exhibitor, as well as the cardboard figures, is placed behind the spectators, a position which ha^ many advantages. Place on the table a lighted candle, and in front of it, at two or three feet dis- tance, attach to the wall a sheet of white paper t© form your *' screen.'' Between the light and the screen interpose some opaque body, for example, an atlas or other large book. . ^ ^i. But under such conditions how are we to cast tne shadows on the screen? Simply by the use of a 138 HOW TO AMUSE. mirror, placed at the side of the table. The reflec- tion of the mirror will appear on the wall as a luminous space, oval or oblong as the case may be, and if you have placed it at the proper angle with reference to the screen, and move your cardboard shapes about cleverly between the candle and the mirror, you will forthwith see little fantastic figures projected in shadow on the screen, while the unini- tiated spectator is wholly at a loss to discover how you produce them. The Rotation of the; GIvObk. When you next chance to eat an egg for break- fast, do not fail to try the following experiment. It is one which always succeeds, and is productive of much amusement to the company. Moisten slightly with water the rim of your plate, and in the centre paint with the yolk of the egg a sun with golden rays. By the aid of this simple apparatus you will be in a position to illustrate, so clearly that a child can comprehend it, the double movement of the earth, which revolves simulta- neously round the sun and on its own axis. All that you have to do is to place the empty half-shell of your egg on the rim of the plate, and keeping this latter duly sloped, by a slight move- ment of the wrist as may be needful, you will see the egg-shell begin to revolve rapidly on its own axis, at the same time traveling round the plate. It is hardly necessary to remark that the egg-shell will not travel uphill, and the plate must therefore ^e gradually shifted round, as well as sloped, so that the shell may always have an inch or two of descending plane before it. The slight cohesion caused by the water which moistens the plate counteracts the centrifugal force, and so prevents the egg-shell falling ofif the edge of the plate. HANGING WITHOUT A CORD. 139 Through Th^ Watkr Dry. Into a basin full of water, throw a coin or rit.cr suScl'ffThi^r^"-/ ","^^ °f *^'« P«^