|PS 3523 1665 TV 59/g^s Qxchanged; THE HUT Price, 35 Cents WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY BOSTON J WIGS AND OTHER HAIR GOODS WHISKERS AND MUSTACHES State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. Full Beard on Wire $1.50 Side Whiskers on Gauze. .$1.00 Full Beard on Gauze 2.25 Side Whiskers on Wire. . . .75 Chin Beard on Gauze, 6 in. Throat Whiskers on Gauze I.io long I.35 Throat Whiskers on Wire. .75 Chin Beard on Gauze, 4 in. Santa Claus Beard on long 1.00 Wire 2.50 Chin Beard on Wire 75 Mustache on Gauze. ..... . .30 Tramp Beard on Cambric Goatee on Gauze 30 (black and brown only) . 1.25 MEN'S WIGS State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. Dress, with parting, all Modern Japanese 5.00 colors $6.00 Chinese with Queue, " Uncle Josh " 6.00 chamois top 5.00 Dutch 6.50 Clown, plain 1.25 Irish, chamois top 6.00 With 3 knobs 2.00 Jew Character 5.00 Negro, black, for Min- Crop, Red and Blond 4.50 strels, etc I.25 Other colors 4.25 Negro, Old Man, White Court or Colonial $5.50 or Gray 2-25 Indian 6.00 Negro, Bald, White or Gray 3.25 LADIES' WIGS State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. Soubrette, all colors $6.50 Court or Colonial $8.50 Old Maid, all colors 9.00 Indian Girl 6.00 Irish Biddy 9.00 Negro Mammy 3.00 Sis Hopkins 6.50 Topsy 2.25 Crepe Hair, Different colors, for making mustaches, etc Per yard, .45 ; half yard 25 In ordering Wigs give Size of Hat. State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. Wigs not rented but made to order. Usually goods can be sent by return mail, but it is best to allow a margin of two or three days. C. O. D. orders must be accompanied by twenty-five per cent of price. Do not send order 4 by telegraph on a few hours' notice. All hair and make-up goods sent by mail or express prepaid, unless otherwise stated. Prices on hair goods subject to change without notice. A /ways * id your orders to WALTER H* BAKER CO*, Boston, Mass. The Hut A Comedy in Three Acts By FANNIE BARNETT LINSKY Author of "Patsy," " Forest Acres," etc., etc. BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 1922 The Hut -<-^^ CHARACTERS MacGregor Spillane, Proprietor of il The Hut* John Rand, James Lodge, Hallam Carleton, Simon Semple, Lawrence Orme, Abner, the chore boy. Grimes, Semple s chauffeur. Dicky, Orme s son. MCKINNON, ) r , ,. rr Lane \ ^ eieciive officers. Guests at " The Hut r Time. — Present. Scene. — The living-room of "The Hut"; a country Health and Rest Retreat for the tired business man. Act I. — Late afternoon in October. Pajamas $5.00. Act II. — The next day. The gift of the storm. Scene 1, morn- ing. Scene 2, late evening. Act III. — Two days later. The Governor takes a hand. Copyright, 1922, by Fannie B. Linsky As author and proprietor All rights reserved. ©CI.D 61807 AUG -4 1922 STAGE SETTING AND PROPERTIES SCENERY The room should be furnished with modern furniture suited to a lounging room for men. A piano, a table with magazines, some smokers' articles, comfortable easy chairs and foot rests, scattered about where convenient. A gate-leg table should rest in one corner, which is brought to c. for meal. Pillows, lamps, etc. There should be exits at l. and r., and a door at Rear which looks out to grounds. If possible, have as much of outdoor scene as can be seen through door, visible to audience, showing a road, trees, etc. A window, also at Rear, through which light of a full moon shines into the room. Another window at r., near back, where Rand and Mac look out when shots are heard. An open fireplace with logs burning will add greatly to the scene. Some logs, andirons and a fire screen, if possible. Autumn leaves or flowers in bowls, for decoration. An attractive room. PROPERTIES A set of oilskins for Mac. A suitcase filled with feminine silk lingerie. An old-fashioned gold locket for Rand. A small hip pocket bottle, presumably filled with whiskey, for Semple. The revolver shots, being fired off stage, may be achieved in any convenient way. All kinds of fishing tackle, poles, lines, hooks, pails, etc. Some tennis rackets, a football, and any other neces- saries for athletic sports. A pair of men's pajamas, rumpled and unironed, A "stage" five-dollar bill. 4 COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS An auto horn, and any device to make the sound of starting the engine of a car. Dishes and silver to lay properly the table for a meal. A tray or basket to carry them in. A table-cloth and napkins. A string of pearls and a pin, presumably set with diamonds. An outfit for a game of checkers. A corn popper, a lantern, and a pair of handcuffs. Two china eggs. Any convenient arrangement of red lights may be used to show the light in the fireplace and the bonfire. Latter occurs off at some distance from stage, and can be very easily represented by having papers kept burning in some large receptacle. It would add greatly to the general effectiveness of the play if one, or even two, dogs could be introduced. One, an old dog, could represent the " Scottie " of the play. The other, a young and frisky animal, could be put through any number of tricks, and be a general com- panion and playfellow of the guests. COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS COSTUMES All the characters should wear costumes suited to " roughing it " in the country. Gray flannel shirts and khaki trousers are suggested, with sweaters and caps for outdoors. The costumes remain the same throughout the play, the single exception being in the first act. Semple, on his arrival at " The Hut," should be dressed in regulation attire for a city business man, and should be wrapped as well in several extra auto robes and blankets. Grimes should wear a regulation chauffeur's costume. Both appear later, however, in the same sort of outfit as the others, presumably borrowed. Tn the last act, Dicky and the Detectives wear regula- tion men's clothes. CHARACTERISTICS Mac. Should be a Scotchman, slow and deliberate in manner. A man past middle age, kindly, but taciturn. Slight Scotch accent if desired. Rand. Should be a fine looking man, still young, who shows that he is used to authority and capable of exer- cising it. A successful lawyer and executive. Semple. A man of wealth, quick, nervous, irascible. Long-headed, but short-tempered. Sharp and impatient, but good-hearted. A man over forty. Orme. Shrewd and keen, as befits a detective of long experience. Inclined to be a little stern and harsh in manner. A man who takes his own trouble very much to heart. Of middle age. Lodge and Carleton. Good-looking, clean cut youths in the early twenties. Carleton, if possible, to look rather delicate in health. Lodge, to be full of life and " pep." Dicky. The average youth of nineteen of the present time. Should be as nearly as possible of the same height and general build as Grimes. Grimes. A chauffeur who allows himself to be bullied by his employer. He should act as though afraid of Semple, but very much attached to Rand. Abner. A slow-witted, faithful plodding chore-boy, absolutely devoted to Mac. The Voice. Since this voice is only heard off stage it may be any member of the company simulating the voice of an old darky woman. Since the arm is shown to the audience, it will be necessary to have some one black up one arm for this purpose. Any one of the company not on stage at these times may play the part. The Hut ACT I SCENE. — The living-room of " The Hut." {The curtain rises on Orme, asleep in an armchair. Carleton whittling and whistling or playing with dog. Enter James Lodge with fishing implements. ) Lodge. Hi ! Hal ! (Puts things dozvn. Sees Orme. ) Gee ! Our friend certainly believes in the rest cure, all right. Seems to me he sleeps twenty-three hours out of twenty-four. Carleton. Well, that's what he's here for. Did you have any luck? Lodge. You bet! Got a couple of beauties. I'd rather take my rest cure figuring it out with a couple of these down by the bank (Holds up fish.) than to sleep my brains away like that. (Nods at sleeper.) Carl. Every one to his own taste, my boy, as we are told the lady said when she kissed the cow. Arid, say, do you know (Lowering his voice.), somehow, he seems queer to me. I don't think he rests much, for all his sleeping. I'll bet you a trout hook against a couple of flies that that old chap's got something on his mind that's worrying him. Lodge. I don't know but what you're right, Hal. You usually are pretty quick at sizing up a situation. (Busies himself with line, hooks, tackle, etc.) What do you suppose it is? Carl. Qh, Heaven knows. Might be any one of a 8 THE HUT hundred things. Who can tell ? Money, family troubles, business worries, disappointment in love, lots of things that it might be. Lodge (slowly). Nope. He looks too old for a dis- appointment in love. Carl. Well, you know, the older they get the harder they fall. Lodge. Yes, I know, that's what they say. But it's not so. God knows, no one ever fell harder than I did — and what did it get me — no — I guess I'm the only one of Spillane's guests that's here to try and mend a broken heart. Carl. Sh — sh — shsh! Not so loud. The old boy might hear you. Besides, Jim, you know what I've told you. Hearts don't break so quickly nowadays and you mustn't give up so easily. You may win out yet. Lodge. Yes. That sounds fine, I know. I used to kid myself along like that a while back, but I'm all through with that stuff now. Say (Becomes excited and raises his voice.), now I ask you, Hal, what right have I got to even ask a girl with a bank (Orme rouses. Lets paper fall. Slowly wakens.) Orme. Um-Um — Hm — Um! Yes, yes, of course. Certainly. I believe I must have fallen asleep over the paper. Hope I haven't disturbed you gentlemen. Carl. Disturbed us ! Oh, dear no. To tell the truth, we were both so tired that it was only your snoring that kept us awake. Orme (sitting up). Snoring! Snoring! God bless my soul, man, no one ever told me that I snored. Are you sure? Lodge. Don't you mind him, Mr. Orme, he's only kidding you. I've been in here for quite a while and I never heard you snore once. Orme. Oh, thanks, my boy, thanks. Now you've re- stored some of my self-respect. I never had much pa- tience with a snorer — nor with a sleepy-head either, for that matter. Lodge. You should have been down by the brook with THE HUT 9 me, Mr. Orme. It was too nice a day to waste indoors sleeping. Mac'll get after you if he finds it out. Look ! {Holds up fish.) These gentlemen keep you much too busy to think of sleep or anything else, for that matter. Orme. Well, then I certainly should go after them, for the very thing I came up here for was, just that — to find something that would stop me from thinking for a while. {There is a silence for a moment, then Orme sighs audibly.) Well, I mustn't burden you youngsters with an old man's grumblings. By the way, where is our amiable host and boss, Mr. MacGregor Spillane ? Carl. Oh, he hitched up his Rolls Royce and went down to the station to meet the next arrival. Orme. Ha. That so ? Who's coming now ? Lodge. Say, ask us something easy. Did you ever know Mr. MacGregor Spillane to open his head to any one of his gang to tell 'em a word about any one else who was, is, or intends to be a member? Carl. I surely never did. He's a pretty close-mouthed old duffer, but he's a little bit of all right, Mac is, just the same. Orme. I agree with you there, Carleton, and perhaps the fact that he is so careful about other people's affairs is what has helped to make this place as popular and suc- cessful as it is. Lodge. Say, by the way, where's the new man that came this morning? I haven't seen him around very much. Carl. He went down to the station with Mac. Say, Jim, do you know that this new chap — Rand, wasn't it, Mr. Orme — you met him. Orme. Yes. Mr. John Rand was the name Mac gave when he introduced me. Carl. Well, his face looks kind of familiar to me, do you know it, Jim? Seems as though I'd seen him some- where. Lodge. Well, maybe you have. You'll have to get real chummy with him over the wood-pile to-morrow morning and then maybe you'll recollect where you last met him. Orme. I thought him a very fine looking man — one of IO THE HUT the kind that might be expected to be a very successful business man. Carl. That's right ! I thought the same thing. Kind of a chap who looks as though he had lots of authority, and knew how to use it. But I wonder where I've seen him before. Well, it'll come to me, I suppose, but, say, this isn't getting these fish ready for supper, Jim — I sup- pose they're for supper, eh? Lodge. What — yes — oh, yes — I suppose so. I did think at first that if I got any real big ones, that I'd pack 'em and send 'em off — down home — but — no — I guess not. Come on, Hal, we'll get 'em all fixed up and cook 'em in honor of the new arrivals. {He picks up pail and goes toward door. An auto horn sounds outside. He opens door quickly and collides forcibly with man just about to enter. Lodge backs into room; the other stands in doorway, bundled up in several layers of robes. They stare at each other.) Semple {angrily). Who the devil are you, sir? Lodge {ruefully rubbing bump on his forehead). Per- mit me to return your compliment — Who the hell are you? (Orme and Carleton laugh.) Semple {angrily). I — I — I am Simon Semple, sir, and I've been riding round this beastly country with that fool chauffeur of mine since eleven o'clock this morning looking for a place called " Spillane's." Carl. Well, you've found it. Won't you take off some of your extra wraps and stay a while ? Semple. Found it ! Found it ! Is this it? This ! Carl. Sure. This is " it " — known in polite language as " The Hut," the place where the tired business man shakes his tired feeling, lives the simple life and com- munes with Nature ; alternately bossed, bullied, and bun- coed by one Mr. MacGregor Spillane. Simple. Well, thank Heaven, I'm here. I'm nearly frozen. I've been as close to Nature as I want to get for some time. {Begins taking off some " layers' 9 grumbling THE HUT II s all the time.) That fool chauffeur, the blooming idiot, etc. Lodge {sarcastically, still rubbing). Well, since you've done me the honor to tell me your name, permit me to do the "pretty" for the house. {Introduces all) Mr. Simon Semple ; Mr. Lawrence Orme ; Mr. Hallam Carle- ton, and your humble servant, James Lodge. Semple. Hem, a-hem. Glad to know you all, I'm sure. I'm so blooming cold my teeth are chattering. Got anything here to warm me up ? Orme {giving him a sharp look). No — er — that is, yes. We've got a few more logs outside in the wood- pile. But I guess Semple. Oh, Lord, I didn't mean anything like that. I meant Lodge, You don't have to tell us in seven different languages what you meant, Mr. Semple. We weren't any of us born yesterday. But you probably don't know that the stuff you mention is absolutely forbidden here, even as medicine. Fd as soon wave a red flag in front of an angry bull as to let Mac see a bottle of Hootch in "The Hut." Semple {testily). Well, forbidden or not, I've got to have something to warm me up. Carl. I could make you some hot tea. I'm quite an expert. Semple {in disgust). Tea ! Man, I'm not sick ! I'm only cold! {Goes to door.) Where is that idiot of a driver? Hey there, Grimes. Come in here with my bags. Hurry up. Bring the small black bag especially. And be quick about it. Grimes {outside, shouts). Is this the right place, sir? Semple {yells). Yes, yes, confound you. Don't stop to ask questions. Of course this is the place. {Turns to others.) Thank Heaven it is — I don't think I could have stood five minutes more of this infernal country. Grimes {at door). Here you are, sir. Here's the black one. What shall I do now, sir? Semple {goes to door; takes bag). Do now, you idiot — what do you suppose you're to do find the garage, of course, and put the car in it. Then come hack here 12 THE HUT for orders, and bring my other case with you when you come. I mean the one with my things in it. I'll keep it here till I find out where my quarters are to be. (Others exchange amused glances. Semple comes to c. with small black grip. Business of opening and extracting brushes, razors, etc., in an effort to find small bottle of liquor. Finally holds up bottle with evident pride.) Well, gentlemen, this is some of the real old stuff. Will you join me? (All decline. He drinks, and puts the bottle away.) Lodge. Mac doesn't stand for anything like that up here. The only kind of warming up that he allows is a swing at the wood-pile of a morning, or a few extra setting-up exercises. Semple. Exercises! Ugh! I hate 'em. I came out here for a rest. (Rubs his hands, clears his throat, and seems more cheerful after the drink.) And, by Gosh! I need it ! I sent my wife and niece off to Atlantic City by themselves so I wouldn't have to listen to any more of their foolish chatter about " love affairs " and " the latest lines from Paris." Ugh ! These women ! Carl. Well, there'll be none of them round here to bother you. Not a woman on the place except old Jinny, who does the wash, and she never shows her face beyond that door. Lodge. No, and if she did, it would probably scare you, it's so black. Orme. Well, she's a good-natured darky for all that. I wrapped a couple of my good linen handkerchiefs around a trout the other day when I was trying to get the hook out, and of course they got all stained up. Then I gave them to Jinny to wash, and she called me over this morning and presented me with an armful of rags, and wanted to know " if I thought the fish's feel- ings wouldn't be hurt, would I please use these the next time." Carl (laughing). Well, surely, Jinny doesn't lack a sense of humor. Semple. You fellows seem to have a pretty good time up here. I take it you like the place. THE HUT 13 Lodge. Best ever ! You'll think so, too, before you've been here forty-eight hours. Orme. The old crowd comes back year after year. I guess that's the acid test for a place like this. And Mac Spillane's the " Salt of the Earth." Carl. So say I. Lodge. And so say I. Sejviple. But, say now, I'm forgetting all about him. Where is my host? This is my first trip up here. I haven't even seen him. Lodge. Why, he's gone down to the station to meet a new arrival. Carl. By Jove, it must be you he's gone to meet. Did you let him know you were coming up by machine ? Semple. Let him know? Of course I didn't. I left early this morning. I expected to be here hours before he'd even be thinking of going down to the train. But there isn't a decent automobile road within twenty miles of this place. Your friend can't be much of a business man or he'd get the town to improve the roads around here, and boom his place up a bit. Orme. Well, that's just what he doesn't want to do. He doesn't lack for guests, either, Mr. Semple, but he doesn't want any of your buzz- wagons round the place. Lodge. That's right, Mr. Semple. Didn't I tell you this is where you lead the simple life? Orme. Thank goodness, Mac knows enough not to wait around too long for any train. Besides, he's got Mr. Rand with him, so he'll not lack for company. I'll show you where the pump is, Mr. Semple, if you want to wash up a bit. Semple. Wash up — well, I guess I need to. That re- minds me. Where's that fool chauffeur of mine with my grip ? I tell you, fellows, when I watched that idiot walk- ing down the path from my front door this morning with my niece's suitcase in one hand and mine in the other, I patted myself on the back, and promised myself a real vacation for once in my life. Gad! I'm all nerves. Grimes (at door). Here's your luggage, sir. {Conies in.) And hang it all, sir, if 1 can find anything that looks 14 THE HUT like a garage within two miles of this place. There's nothing but an old wagon shed back of the house. Semple. Bah ! You must be getting blind. Orme. No, don't blame your man, Semple. He's right. There isn't any garage, for the simple reason that Mac doesn't allow any cars up here. He took it for granted that you knew, I suppose. You see, it's " Back to Nature " for fair. We fellows all know about it, of course; we've been here so often. Semple (amazed) . No machines ! Good Lord ! How do you get anywhere? Lodge. We don't ! And when we do — we walk. Semple. Bah ! I hate to walk. Carl. Besides, there ain't nowheres to " get " ! The nearest place is about seven miles from here. Semple. Seven miles — no autos — Good Heavens — what kind of a place is this anyway! I suppose you have a telephone? Carl. Well, there is one, but we can't use it. It's locked up in Mac's Sanctum Sanctorum, his private of- fice over on the other lot. Mac gets all the messages first — then, if he thinks it wise — or necessary — he passes them on. Semple. Say, who does he think he is around here — the German Kaiser? I figured that I was coming to a place where I could do as I pleased. I've had enough bossing to suit me for a while. I don't know — I don't believe this is the kind Lodge. Oh, it isn't as bad as it sounds, Mr. Semple. You'll be crazy about it in a couple of days. Every one is that comes here. Carl. Of course you will. You see, Mac doesn't want cars and telephones and all that sort of thing, be- cause he wants his men to leave all cares and worries behind them. Cut loose from all the things they regu- larly do, and just come up here and be " kids " all over again. Semple. Well, maybe he's got the right idea, but it sounds kind of strange to me — but, say, I've got a flannel shirt and a pair of khaki trousers in my grip — maybe if I get into them I'll feel more at home here. THE HUT 15 Orme. That's a good idea. You can change in my bunk and then well wash up and these lads can broil the fish they've just promised me for my supper. Semple. Open the case, Grimes. I just feel like seeing myself all dressed up in what's packed in that grip. It's been a long time (Grimes meantime opens case, fumbling with lock. Semple stands over him.) Well — I'll be — hanged. You blooming idiot. What the devil do you mean by making a fool of me like that? {Scoops up an armful of feminine silk "undies" and holds them out in disgust.) Ever see a flannel shirt that looked like that (Shakes out crepe de chine " com- bination") or a pair of khaki trousers like this {Waves a pair of silk knickers.), or a suit of pajamas like this? (Unfurls a silk "nighty" Stops as a thought strikes him.) Pajamas ! Great Caesar's ghost ! What am I go- ing to do up in a wilderness like this without even a pair of pajamas? (Walks up and down in rage.) Carl. Oh, well, I wouldn't let it upset me like that, Mr. Semple. I guess we can fix you up all right. Semple. Much obliged — but bah! I hate borrowed stuff. I'd just as soon borrow a man's pajamas as — as — his Lodge ( hopefully ) . Tooth brush ? Semple (raging). Yes, sir — as his tooth brush, and by Gad, I'm not going to either. (Drops stuff back into case and gives the case a kick. Puts hand in pocket and extracts a bill. Thrusts it forcibly at Grimes. Grimes backs a few steps.) There, you blooming idiot. Take that, and take that machine, and go, and don't come back here till you've got me a pair of pajamas somewhere. Grimes (apologetically). But, Mr. Semple, sir, there ain't no stores — nowhere around here. Don't you know how we looked for one on the way up ? Semple. Know! Know! I don't know anything, and you know less. There's five dollars. Now git! And don't you come back without those pajamas if you have to beg, borrow or steal 'em. Git ! (Grimes opens mouth several tunes, as if to speak. Closes it again. Goes out shaking head dubiously. l6 THE HUT Noise of engine starting, honk of horn, sound of departing auto. Semple throws himself into chair like a sulky boy. Orme picks up offending suitcase, puts it on table, takes out crumpled mass of siltt. Gives Lodge and Carleton each a part and all three make ludicrous attempts to fold neatly and repack in case. Noise outside of wagon on gravel walk. Sound of " Whoa there, Bess — Hi, Abner, where are you? ") {Enter Mac Spillane and John Rand. Spillane gives one look at the three men, who pretend not to see him, and very elaborately shake out under- wear and fold and refold. Mac removes pipe from his mouth — puts it back, takes out specs, puts them on, looks — looks again. Takes off specs, deliber- ately puts them away, puffs a couple of times on pipe then casually speaks.) Mac. I suppose that there is a new kind of bait fer the fishes. Orme. Why no, Mac, I should say it was a very old kind of feed for the chickens. Mac. Wall, I take it some one's blundered, fer there's no chickens in this coop — least aways there's only one old black hen that I know about, and she {Black arm protrudes in through door. Raps smartly on casing. Voice of old darky outside.) Voice {off stage). Marse Lodge and Marse Carl, does you care fo' starch in you' B. V. D/s? {All laugh heartily.) Lodge. No, thanks, Jinny, just do "em up to suit your- self; Carl and I are not fussy. Besides {To others.), we're thinking of adopting crepe de chine for our " next friend "—hey, Hal? Carl. Sure thing — and now, come on there, Mac, you old clam — you know you're just dying to ask where all THE HUT l 7 this came from. Speak up now — and tell us your news first. Mac News ? Sure, man, I have no news. Mr. Rand and I met the train all right, but there was no one on it — least aways no one for " The Hut." I was expecting to greet a Mr. Simon Semple who was due here to-day, but he was not there, and if one o' you can tell me where he is I'll be obliged to ye ! Rand (coming forward). Looks to me as though he's right here, Mac. Better put your specs on again. Semple. The gentleman's right, Mr. Spillane. I thought I wouldn't break into this little party till these boys had got through poking fun at me. I'm Simon Semple, and I've a couple of apologies and a few more explanations to make to you for the way in which I landed here. Mac. I'm glad to meet you, Semple. As f er apologies they're never needed round here and I guess as long as you're safely here, the explanations can wait. This is Mr. Rand, Mr. Semple, and I guess you've made your- self acquainted with everybody else. Semple. Glad to know you, Mr. Rand. (They shake hands.) Rand. Welcome to " The Hut," Semple. Hope you'll like it as well as the rest of us do. Semple (slowly). Seems to me your face looks kind of familiar to me, Mr. Rand. Have we ever met before, do you think? (Others look up, interested.) Rand (easily). Well — not that I know of, Mr. Sem- ple. I meet many men in the course of the day's work, however — it's barely possible you may have been one. Semple. Well, do you happen to be one of the Rands of the firm of Rand and (Enter Abner.) Abner. I put up the hoss, Mister Mac, and Jinny told me to tell yer that the leak in the laundry room has started again worse'n ever, and that it's all soaked inter the dining-room, and ol' Henry says he can't fix it right l8 THE HUT now in a hurry, and ye better plan ter have yer supper in here. Rand. Fine, Mac. I like that idea. I'll help wait on table. Lodge. Great — and say, Mac, look at this beauty. {Holds up fish.) Carl and I want to cook this for sup- per. Can't we broil it over the logs ? Rand. We sure can. I'll show you how. (Looks around.) Let's see, what can we use for a holder — good, I have it. The corn popper. Put your fish in like this, Lodge, and hold it close to the fire — so — see. Then when it gets real brown, just turn it Carl, (admiringly). Gee, you know just how to go about it, Mr. Rand. That's what I call a clever idea. Rand. Oh, just a stunt remembered from my college camping days. Orme (eagerly). So you're a college man, Rand. So'm I. What's yours? Rand (hesitating). Why, Harvard — '88. Orme. Really. Let's shake on it. I'm '8i. (They shake hands.) Can't say I knew you in college, but maybe we'll be able to exchange some reminiscences after supper. Rand. Fine. I never expected to meet a college mate up here — but the world's not such a big place after all, is it? Mac. Well, now, if we have to have our supper in here, I'll appoint you head of the squad, Rand. I'll just take Mr. Semple off with me for a few minutes and show him his diggings. (Semple picks up black bag. Pushes other grip into corner with grunt and prepares to follow Mac. The latter looks around rather suspi- ciously once or twice. Goes to exit. Semple follows.) Get Abner and that lazy loafer, Henry, in here to help you, boys. Make 'em bring in the gate-leg table and the dishes, and tell Jinny to tell the cook we want things hot. Not middling---or medium — but hot. Lodge. Especially the tea — eh, Mr. Semple? Semple. Tea — hot tea — ugh! (Mac gives him sharp look.) THE HUT ig Mac. Well, come along, Semple. Got all your duds ? We'll be right back, boys. [Exit Mac and Semple. Rand. Well, now, fellows. \fyhat shall we do first? I think it's a bully idea to have our evening meal in here — but then, I've a great fondness for this room anyway. Carl. You've been coming up here for quite a few years, haven't you, Mr. Rand? Rand (starting, as though in a day-dream) . Eh? oh yes. Ten, to be exact. This makes my tenth consecu- tive year up here with Mac. Orme. Well, that's surely a good recommendation for " The Hut." Lodge. For " The Hut," and for " Mac " too. You have to think a whole lot of a person to take a trip this length to see him every year. Rand. Well, it's more than just an ordinary rest cure that I get up here. I consider Mac Spillane the very salt of the earth and I count him as one of my very best friends — proud to have him for one. Carl, (grips hands with Rand). Gee, Mr. Rand, put it there. I never knew that any one felt like that but me. You know, Mac's such a clam. He never lets out a word about any one up here — but no one knows but Jimmy here — and maybe some one up There — what Mac Spillane did for me when I first came up here four years ago — down and out — in the dead of winter — health broken — courage gone — Jimmy almost carried me half the way. Gad ! I'm not a particularly religious " cuss " but I can't help feeling that St. Peter ought to leave his post at the entrance to the Golden Gate, and take a day off to come down here with a nice little shining halo for Mac Spillane. (The two shake again.) Rand. Thank you for your confidence, Carleton. I can understand, indeed. Carl. Oh, it's no secret now. I'll tell you more about it some other time — or Jimmy may. Lodge. Sure I will — but — after supper. Behold, bo- fore your eyes — a man, slowly starving to doath. Here, Orme, you take a turn holding this speckled beauty over the fire. The odor of broiling trout is one that I never 20 THE HUT knew could be so seductive. It just tickles my nose so that I can't stand it. Nix on the " sob stuff " any more right now, Hal. Come on, Mr. Rand. If you don't take charge and boss me round, I'll turn tables and do the bossing myself, and I can be some great little boss, 111 tell the world. Rand. That's right, Lodge, I don't blame you. We'd better get on the job, or Mac will have our heads. Now — let's see — how shall we do this thing? We've got to show one hundred per cent, efficiency, you know. Lodge. Efficiency ! Efficiency ! Lord, how I hate that word. That's all we hear in our branch of the service, and (A little bitterly.) then, when a man works his head off to show what he can do, and really gets results, what happens ? Carl. Why, the boss chief has an interview with the governor of this Grand Old State of ours, and the fellow that worked his head off is politely informed that the brother-in-law of some uncle of a cousin of the governor's is the man that's slated for the next promotion. And there's no argument about it ! So there you are ! (While above conversation is going on, Rand and Lodge and Carleton busy themselves setting up gate-leg table. Rand takes charge. Enter Abner with basket containing dishes, silver and table-cloth. Rand passes Lodge one end of cloth, with remarks such as " Now there you are." " You look after dishes and I'll place the silver!' etc. At Carleton's last remark about the governor, Rand stops short in evident surprise, and stares at the speaker.') Rand. The Governor of the State ! Why, what has he got to do with you boys ? Lodge. Why, technically, he's at the head of the sur- veying service. That's where Hal and I both work. Of course there's a chief; he's our immediate superior, but he reports to the governor, and if I could say out loud in English what I am thinking to myself in French about that gentleman they call the Governor — Lord ! Carl. And the half has not been told. Come on THE HUT 21 there, Jim. How did we get to be talking shop like this ? It's against the rules. If we keep this up, we'll have supper about midnight. Orme {from fireplace). Yes, and I think this gentle- man is cooked to a turn, and to tell the truth, I'm nearly cooked myself. {Mops brow. Rand brings plate, Orme puts fish on it and places it on table.) {Enter Mac.) Mac. Everybody on the job. We sure ought to have a fine meal. Orme. Where's our latest addition, Mac — Mr. Semple ? Mac. Ha! Yes. Mr. Simon Semple. I left him out in his bunk, struggling into a pair of my old khakis and a flannel shirt that Jinny has done her best to ruin. Lodge. Say, do you know I had the greatest desire to call him " Simple Simon " as soon as I heard his name. Orme. Simple Simon. Pretty good. I've an idea, though, that he's not quite as simple as he seems. What do you say, Mac ? Mac. Well, now, I really can't saj^ Carl. And wouldn't if you could, eh, Mac, you old clam? {Squeezes his arm.) Mac. Sure he ought to be here by now — although I'm not so sure that he'll like his new outfit quite as well as the things he brought with him. {Looks around at the suitcase lying in the corner.) Rand. I haven't heard the whole story yet. Some one will have to tell it to me. Orme. Oh, but please, please, — on with the eats. No more telling, say I. {Enter Semple with large tray of food. Abner with another.) Semple. Well, well, here we are. How do you like my new rig? That ugly looking black out there insisted 22 THE HUT that I should make myself useful as long as I was coming up here. Mac. Oh, sure, Jinny's husband never believes in moving if he can get some one to move for him. {Looks sharply at every one, then moves close to Semple and sniffs suspiciously.) Well, now, seems we're all ready. Line up, men, and we'll work up an appetite for supper. You stand here, Mr. Semple. (Places him in line. Gets a whiff of his breath, and turns away with a grimace. He then puts men through four or five setting-up exercises. The men open shirts at neck, turn them in, roll up sleeves, all except Orme. Exercises over, they seat themselves, laughing, chatting, glowing, and proceed to eat. Abner waits on table, going out occasionally, return- ing with other food, removing plates, etc.) Rand (rolling sleeves still higher). Gee, Mac! That was great! Certainly made my blood circulate. Orme, why don't you open your shirt collar, man? You'd be twice as comfortable. Lord knows — no one stands on ceremony here. How about it, Mac ? Mac. No, I should say no one does. Orme. Why — why — I (Appears embarrassed.) Why — I — I can't say I like it open — makes me kind of nervous — no — no thanks — er — I guess I'll keep it but- toned up — er — if it's all the same to you. Rand (surprised) . Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course it makes no difference to me whatever. I merely sug- gested it thinking you would be more comfortable. (Proceeds to eat. During the course of the meal, jokes, puns or knocks of a local character may be interpolated, and the meal may be made very short or prolonged as desired. Near close of meal, Lodge speaks.) Lodge. By the way, Mac, any more additions expected soon? Any newcomers? Mac. Weel, I hardly think THE HUT 23 (Sound of machine outside. Loud noise. Door is flung open, Grimes half leaps, half falls into room, a pair of bedraggled pajamas held outstretched.) Carl. Well, I'll be — hem — hem — hem — Hanged ! Lodge. Jee-umping Jee-iminy ! Grimes (to Semple). W-w-e-w-e-11, here they are, sir — I — I — got 'em, sir — but my hat, Mr. Semple, please don't give me no such errands to do no more. I nearly lost my life getting these, sir. Semple (leaving table). These ! These ! You bloom- ing idiot ! Where the devil did you get these ? Grim,es. I — I — I stole 'em, sir ! Mac. What! Semple. You what! — You stole them? (Grimes nods affirmatively.) Mac. But where in the name of Mike did you steal them from, man? Lodge. There's no place within miles of here. Grimes. But I had the car, sir. Mr. Semple, he told me — you heard him — he said to buy — borrow — or steal them. Well— I did. Semple. Well, if you've got any rilling at all in that cavity where your brain ought to be, will you kindly tell us where you stole them from. Grimes (shrinking) . Why, I took them off the clothes- line — in a yard, sir. The family wash was hanging out — and — I couldn't get a pair nowheres around, sir, so I took 'em. But please, sir, I don't want no such jobs no more, sir, — I Orme. But didn't any one see you taking them? Grimes. Oh, yes, sir, and that was the worst of it, sir. Two men saw me, and they chased me, sir, and if I hadn't had the car, sir, I — I think they would have caught me, sir. Lodge. Well, I'll say it's a pretty novel way to replen- ish one's wardrobe, eh, Mr. Simple — er — I mean Sem- ple. Orme. Very, I should say. Neat, as well as novel — as long as you don't get caught. 24 THE HUT Semple. Well, of all the nincompoops that I ever met — and pray — what did you do with the five dollars that I gave you to buy them with ? Grimes {apologetically). Well, you see, sir, my con- science troubled me a bit, because I knew it wasn't right to steal, so I just took a clothes-pin and pinned the " fiver " on the line where the pajamas had been. (Semple throws up his hands in despair. The others all laugh.) Mac. Well, now, man, I think he did very well at that, and I'll warrant he's starved, and half frozen. Come on, man, and have a bite of supper. Grimes. I will that — and thank-ee kindly, sir, Fm that cold that when my teeth chattered, I thought it was a knock in the engine. ( While Mac clears a place for Grimes at table, Semple and others examine pajamas, all laughing.) Mac. Now, Abner, bring in some hot tea for Grimes and clear away the rest of this. And now, lads, shall we have our evening smoke? {Looks at watch.) We'll have our smoke, if you say so, but we're a bit later than usual, so we'll cut the evening walk down a bit. (All place chairs conveniently around fireplace and proceed to " light up!') Semple. Cut the walk? But why cut it down? There's nothing else to do around here, is there ? Lodge. It's " early to bed and early to rise," you know, Mr. Semple. We turn in about eight-thirty or nine. Carl. Yes — and we get up at six ! Semple. Six ! Bless my soul ! Why, I could never get up at such an unearthly hour. Why, my niece is just about going to bed a good many mornings at that time. What's the big idea? Mac. But ye ken, man, this is the simple life around here. We keep early hours, and live natural, and that makes a man fit. THE HUT 25 Rand. And there's nothing better, take it from me, Semple. Semple. Oh, well, I am a good sport — and as long as I'm in Rome — well — but six o'clock. My Lord ! (Meantime, Grimes having finished, he and Abner clear and remove table, setting room to rights, Abner whistles as he works. Grimes softly hums. Men sit in silence and smoke. Finally Abner sings a little louder. Lodge and Carleton join. A little later Rand joins, then Orme and finally Mac. Any desired songs, suited to mixed male voices. If all cannot sing, some voices may come from behind scenes. After first song, Grimes goes to Semple, and in pantomime indicates that he is thirsty. Sem- ple takes bottle from hip pocket and passes it to chauffeur but Mac's long arm intercepts and claims bottle. With a shake of the head Mac denies Semple's attempt to regain bottle. Latter laughs and sings solo. Author here suggests song " O, I Wish I was Annie Laurie, With a Wee Bit of Scotch in Me." For second chorus Mac sings, substituting words, "I'm Related to Annie Laurie, for Vve plenty of Scotch in me.") (Mac goes to door and pours out liquor, Grimes show- ing signs of keen distress as he does so. After as many encores as desired, all find caps and sweaters, and in twos, slowly go out, putting on hats as they go, singing as they walk.) SLOW CURTAIN (SECOND PICTURE.—// possible, show full moon- light streaming in through window and door. Men's voices coming from distance. Abner and Grimes straightening room, going slowly out as curtain falls.) CURTAIN ACT II SCENE I. — The same as in Act I. The following morning. {Curtain rises on Rand and Semple playing checkers. Game continues in silence for few seconds after curtain is up, then Rand finally says " Check! ") Rand. There goes your last king, Semple. How's our score now ? Semple. Three to three, Rand. We'll have to play the rubber after dinner. Rand. Not to-day, I'm afraid, Semple. I'm starting off on a little trip this morning — I'll probably be too tired when I get back. {Enter Lodge and Carleton with tennis rackets and balls. Mac follows immediately.) Lodge. What! You're not leaving us so soon, Mr. Rand. We can't let you off like this. Carl and I were just trying to arrange for a game of doubles. Rand. Oh, no, I'm not leaving, really. Just going off on a little pilgrimage for the day — and by the way, Semple, that man of yours, Grimes, seems to have taken a sort of fancy to me and wants to constitute himself my body-guard. I was sort of thinking I'd take him along with me if you don't mind. Semple. Mind! Good Lord no, take him anywhere you like. I hope he'll make a better body-guard than he does a chauffeur. Carl. Well, he seemed grateful enough to Mac for letting him stay at all. When he heard that no automo- biles were allowed up here his look was comical. Mac. But he makes a pretty good general handy man, for a' that. {Puts hand on Rand's shoulder.) Lad — must ye go ? Rand {earnestly, in low tone). Must — Mac. I'd 26 THE HUT 27 never forgive myself if I didn't. You know how it is with me. Mac. I know, lad, I know. But I'm a bit fearful of the weather. (Goes to door and peers out.) Shouldn't be surprised if we had some wetting down before the night. Carl. Why, Mac — I'm sure you're a poor weather prophet. It's a wonderful day. Doesn't look to me as though it would rain for a week. Mac. Well, we'll see. And you dress up real tight, John — and take Grimes along — it's a good idea. I'll go and see about some lunch for you. (Rand looks out of door while Mac is speaking.) Rand. By the way, Mac. What's the matter with Orme to-day ? He's out there walking up and down like a caged lion. He never ate a mouthful of breakfast, and he looks to me like a man under a terrible nervous strain. Mac. He is. (Others all look up.) He's pretty nearly at the end. Semple. Ahem! Ahem! (Enter Orme. Looks from one to the other as though in doubt. Then shoving hat on back of head, thrusting hands deep in pockets, he bursts out.) Orme. Mac, I'm going home. (All look at him.) I can't stand it any longer. I'm going home. Mac Tis the very best thing ye can do, man. I'd been mindin' to tell ye for several days, but did na like to ask you to leave. " The Hut " can do nothing for you till your mind's at ease. Semple (puts hand on Orme's shoulder). Look here, Orme, I'm a peppery old bird, I know, and Heaven knows I've had enough to make me so, but at least my troubles, whatever they are, are not as bad as yours seem to be right now. Now I don't mean to pry into your affairs, but I just want to say that if I can do anything to help you, you can count on Simon Semple. Lodge. Me too, Mr. Orme. Carl. So say I ! 28 THE HUT Rand. And I'm with the boys, too, Orme. You know we don't mean to be inquisitive, but if you need us — say the word. Orme (visibly affected). Thanks, thanks, men. Be- lieve me, I do appreciate your offers. I'd like to tell you what's troubling me. Maybe you could advise me. Do you think it would do any good, Mac? Mac. 'Twould do no harm, anyway. Orme. Well — it's not easy for me to talk, let me tell you, for my business has trained me to keep my mouth shut as much as possible, and let the other fellow do the talking, but this time I'm up against it. Mac. Well, out with it, man, and I'll help ye. Maybe you'll feel better when you've shared it. Ye see, boys, Mr. Orme by profession is a private detective — head of the firm of Orme, Lincoln & Company. Orme. Yes, that's so, but when a detective has to go to work to catch a thief in his own f am Mac. Easy now, easy. Them's harsh words, man, them's harsh words. Orme. Yes, I suppose so. Well, you see, boys, it's my boy, my only son, that's knocked me all off my bal- ance. His mother is dead, and he's all I've got and — well, my heart's just wrapped up in him. Mac. Well, why not? He's as likely a lad as you'd want to meet. Good looking, too. Not a bit like his father. (Others all smile.) Orme. I sent him to college. You know, Rand, how it is. We all want our boys to go back to the old place. Rand. Don't blame you a bit. It's what I should do if I had a son. Lodge. Adopt me, will you, Mr. Rand? I'm just dying to be a real college Rah Rah boy. Carl. Shut up, Jim. Can't you see this is no time for fooling? Lodge. Beg pardon, Orme. I forgot. Please go on. Orme. Oh, there's not much to tell. He didn't take to his books, and of course got in with a crowd that do nothing but run around and look for a good time. Mac. He's not a bad boy, though, I'd take an oath on that. THE HUT 29 Rand. Well, that's saying a whole lot, Orme. I'd take Mac's judgment of a person any time. Orme. I would have too — once. But now — well — I don't know. Anyway, one night about a week ago, Dicky, my boy, went to a dance. He's lost his heart to a girl in the crowd he's been traveling with, Dulcie Varney, so of course she was in the party. Lodge. Gosh ! don't hold that against him, Mr. Orme. I've done the same thing myself. Orme. Lord, no, I know better than that. I was young myself, once. Besides, she's a nice enough little girl — I found out that much — more money than brains perhaps — but, anyway, that night she wore a diamond pin on a black velvet band round her throat, and a chain of very valuable pearls. Mac. They were jewels that had been her mother's, Orme — don't forget that's why she valued them. Orme (heavily). Oh, I don't forget — anything. Well, boys, you know the ridiculous customs of the young folks these days. None of 'em wear half enough clothes, so this fool young woman decided it was too warm to have anything round her neck, while dancing, and she takes off her diamond pin and pearls and gives them to Dicky to keep for her. Semple. The young idiot. I can just imagine the rest. Orme. Sure. There are always plenty of the light- fingered gentry in places of that kind, and one of them very politely lifted the pearls from Dicky's pocket. Carl. What a shame ! And the diamond pin, too ? Orme. No, that evidently wasn't so easy to get, so they were obliged to make away without it. Well, Dicky took the girl home in his car with another couple, and they both completely forgot about the jewels. When he was about half-way home with the other two, he sud- denly thought of the stuff, put his hand in his pocket, pulled out the diamond pin, and found the pearls were gone. Lodge. I can imagine how he felt. Gosh, if it was me — my stomach would turn over and lie down on its back. 3.oo for the first and #5.00 for subsequent performances by the same cast, -Price, jj cents CHARACTERS The Prologue, the Goddess of the South. Madame Bonfoey, mistress of the plantation* Azalea, her ward. Nancy, Azalea s sister. Cousin Sallie Sellers, from a neighboring estate. Phcebe, a little coquette. Mary Rose, Phoebe s sister. Mam* Dicey, the house mammy. Beverly Bonfoey, the young heir. Judge Pennymint, his uncle. Raoul Chaudet, a visitor from Quebec. Cameo Clemm> from the city. Unker Shad, a bit of old mahogany . Beaux and Belles of Dixie. SYNOPSIS OF SCENES Act I. The drawing-room of the Bonfoey Plantation in 184.9. The letter. Act II. The dinner party. The duel. Act III. An April morning, three years later. The return. THE ORIGINAL TWO BITS A Farce in Two Acts By Hazel M. Robinson Written for and presented by The Invaders Club of the UmUn Baptist Church of Letviston, Maine Seven females. Scene, an interior. Plays twenty minutes. The ^irls in camp receive a visit from a neighbor and have to borrow the neighbor's own dinner in order to feed them. They almost get away with it — not quite. Irish comedy character, eccentric aunt, rest straight. Price, 23 cents students at Hatton Hall School. CAMP FIDELITY GIRLS A Comedy in Four Acts By Edith Lowell Dramatized by permission from the well-known story by Annie Hamilton Donnell One male, eleven females. Scenery, two interiors. Plays two hours, A jolly party of girls occupy an old farmhouse for the summer and there discover a secret that makes for the happiness and prosperity of a poor little cripple. A very " human " piece full of brightness and cheer and with a great variety of good parts. Price, SS cents CHARACTERS Barbara Wetherell Judy Wetherell, her sister Jessica Thayer Mary Shepherd, otherwise Plain Mary Edna Hull Mrs. Tucker, a next-door neighbor. Johnnie Tucker, known as Johnnie-Son* Barnaby Campbell, a big child. Jennie Brett, a country girl. Cousin Salome. Aunt Elizabeth. Uncle Jeff. SYNOPSIS OF SCENES Act I. Room at Hatton Hall School. Act II. Scene I. Camp Fidelity. Afternoon. Scene II. The next morning. Act III. Scene I Same. Two weeks later. Scene II. Midnight. Act IV. Scene I. Same. Six weeks later. Scene II. A half hour later. MARRYING MONEY A Play in One Act By Alice L. Tildesley Four females. Scene, an interior. Plays half an hour. The girls seek a job with the millionaire's mother and one of them gets one for life with the millionaire. One eccentric character and three straight. Price, 25 cents THE OVER-ALLS CLUB A Farce in One Act By Helen Sherman Griffith Ten females. Scene, an interior. Plays half an hour. 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