R 5549 T4 ; 1755 ^ 'opy 1 5 DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. <^^^ (Number 147.) THE OVERLAND ROUTE. A COMEDY, IN THREE ACTS. BY TOM TAYLOR, AOTHOB OF " AN TOEQUAL MATCH," " CONTESTED ELECTION," "PLOT AND PASSION," " HEAETS AND HANDS," " STILL WATEB BUNS DEEP. AS FIRST rERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROTAL HAYMAR- KET, LONDON, APRIL, 1860. TO \rilI>II JJ-T. ADDED A description of the Costume— Cast of the Characters— Entrances and Exits- Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the whole of tlie Stage Business. > > <»> < ^ 4T: « la - 3 r It : ROBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHER, o> J\'o. 33 Rose Street. r FIRST I/OVli. A Comedy. In One Act. By L. J. Hollenius. Price iiOW I 15 Cents. JtEADY. I THERE'S 1\0 SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE. A Comedietta. In - One Act. By Thomas Picton. Price 1.5 Cents. %^¥B, 4®=- These Plays will be sent to any address, postage paid, on receipt of price, Fifteen Cents each. PdsuslileR, No. 33 Rose Street. No, 1. Caste. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Robert- son. 6 Male, 3 Female Characters. 2. Nobody's Child. Dramatic Play. 3 Acts. By Watts Phillips, Esq. 18 Male, 2 Female Characters. 3. SIOO.OOO. By H. J. Byron, 8 Male, 4 Fe- male Character.s. i. Daadelion's Dodg^es. Farce. I Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 6. IVilliam Xell ! "With a "Vengeance. Burlesque. 2 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 8 Male, 2 Female Characters. 6. Six Months Xgo. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix Dale. 2 Male, 1 Female Characters, 7. Maud's Peril. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts Phillips. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 8. Henry Dunbar. Diama. 4 Acts. By Tom Taylor. 10 Male, 3 Female Characters, 9. A Fearful Tfragedy in the Se-ven Dials. A Farcical Interlude. 1 Act. By Charles Selbs'. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 10. The Snapping Turtles ; or. Matrimonial Masqueradinj?. Duologue, 1 Act, By Johu B, Buckstone, 1 Male, 1 Female Characters, 11. IVoodcock's Little Came. Comedy Farce. 2 Acts, By Johu Maddison Morton, 4 Male, 4 Ffnialc Characters. 12. A 'Wido-.v *lunt. Comedy. tereil trum his own coniedv ot Friend.") By J. Stirling Coy] Female Characteis, 13. Ruy Rlas. llomantic Dra 3 Acts. (Al- Everybody's . 4 Male, 4 4 Acts, ench of Victor Hugo. 12 Male, 4 Female Characters. 14. Rio Thoroughfare. Drama. 5 Acts and a Prologue. By Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins. i:j Slale, 6 Female Characters. 15. Milky "»Vhite, Domestic Drama. 2 Acts. By 11. T. Craven. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 16. Dearer than Life. Serio-comie Drama. 2 Acts, By Henry J. Byron. 6 Male, 5 Female Characters. 17. Kind to a Fault. Comedy. 2 Acts. By William Brough. G Male, 4 Female Characters. 18. If I had a Thousand alTear. Farce. 1 Act. By John Maddison Morton. 4 Male, 3 Female Characters. 19. He's a Lunatic. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix Dale, 3 Male, 2 Female Characters, 20. Daddy Gray. Serio-comic Drama, 3 Acts, By Andrew Halliday. 8 Male, 4 Female Characters. 21. Play. Comedy. 4 Acts. By T. W. Robert- son. 7 Male, 3 Female Characters. 22. David Garrick. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Robertson. 8 Male, 3 Female Charac- ters. 23. The Petticoat Parliament. Extrava- ganza. 1 Act. By Mark Lemou. 15 Male, 24 Female Characters. 2'', Cabman Ko. 93; or. Found in a Four Wheeler. Farce, 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. J Male, 2 Female Characters. The Droken-Hearted Club. Comedietta. By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, S Female Char- acters. Society. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Rob- ertson. 16 Male, 5 Female Characters. Time and Tide. Drama. 3 Acts and a Pro- logue. By Henry Leslie. 7 Male, 5 Female Characters. A Happy Pair. Comedietta, 1 Act, By S. Theyre Smith. 1 Male, 1 Female Charac- ters. Turning the Tables. Farce. 1 Act. By John Poole, Esq. 6 Male, 3 Female Characters. The Goose v«-ith the Golden Fggs. Farce. 1 Act, By Messrs, Mayhew and Ed- wards, 6 Male, 3 Female Characters, . Taming a Tiger. Farce, 1 Act, 1 Male Characteis, The Little Ilebel. Farce, 1 Act. By J. Stirling Coi'ne. 4 Male, 3 Female Charats- tcr.'i.' One too Many for Him. Farce. 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 2 Male, 3 Female Char- acters. . Larkin's Lo-ve Letters. Farce. 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- ters, A Silent Woman, Farce, 1 Act. By Thos. Hailes Lacey. 2 Male, 1 Female Charac- ters. Black Sheep. Drama. 3 Acts. By J, Pal- grave Simpson and Edmund Yates. 7 Male, 5 Fenuile Characters. ^ ' A Silent Protector. Farce. 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female Cliaracters, The Kightful Heir. Drama, 5 Acts. By Lord Lytton, 10 Male, 2 Female Characters. Master Jones' Birthday, Farce, 1 Act. By John Maddison Morton, 4 Male, 2 E«,male Characteis, Atchi. Comedietta, 1 Act. By J. Maddison Morton. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. Beautiful Forever. Farce. 1 Act. By Frederick Hay. 2 Male, 2 Female Characters, Time and the Hour. Drama. 6 Acts. By J, Palgrave Simpson and Felix iJale. 7 Male, 3 Female Characters, Sisterly Service. Comedietta. 1 Act. By J. V. Wooler. 7 Male, 2 Female Characteis. "War to the Knife. Comedy. 3 ^cts. By Henry J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 Female Characters. Our Domestics. Comedy-Fared. 2 Acts. By Frederick Hay. S Male, 6 Female Char- acters. , Miriam's Crime. Drama. «> Acts. By H. T. Ciaven. 5 Male, 2 female Characters. , Easy Shaving. Farce. 1 Act. By P. C. Burnand and Montague Williams. 5 Male, 2 Penmle CharactHrs. , Little Annle'n Birthday. Farce. Rj W. E. Suter. 2 Male, 4 Female C'.mractej'S. THE OYERLAID ROUTE. % €ami^^, IN THEEE ACTS. BY TOM TAYLOR Author of "An Unequal Match," " Contested Election," " Plot and Passion," " Bearta and Hands," " SUU Waters Run Deep," etc., etc. AS riEST PERFOEMED AT THE THEATEE EOTAL, HAYMARKET, LONDON, APEIL, 1860. 10 WHICH ABB ADDED, A DESCRIPTION OP THE COSTUMES — CAST OF THE CHABACTEBS— KN- TBANCES AND EXITS RELATIVE POSITIONS OF. THE PER- FOBMEBS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. NEW YORK: ROBERT M. DE WITT, PTTBLISHER, No. 33 Rose Street. ) O' THE OTEELAND KOTJTE. CAST OF 0HA, Theatre Royal, Uaymarket, London, April, 1860. Mr. Colepepper (Commissioner of '>t:/''^ // / Badgerypore District) .fif^XV. Mr. liovibond (a Singapore Mer- o /^ ^ chant) /pMCy^XiMj^ Tom Dexter (an Adventurer) vW..-^^Xt^..j^.J^vi>nry.v7rs/. Miss Wilkins. Miss Colepepper. ..i3j4^^,oC^p/lnA^...«XC«<«/<£l/.'.... Miss Ternan. Mrs. Gvimwood (her Maid) /.O. /:<^..i,£lLMj . u Miss "Weekes. Mrs. Kabbits ^ >/. Cu^.dtUJj ..... Mrs. Griffiibs. Ayahs, Stewards, Lascars, Passengers, etc. SCENERY, Etc. ACT I. — Scene: The Saloon of the "Simoon" under the poop deck. A long I I .1 I Door. Door. Door. Door. Door. Door. Door. Table. Door. Door. Door. Door. Door. Door. Q»FT EST. OF J H. CORNING JUNE 20. 1940 THE OVEULAXD EOUTB. cabin, lighted from a large skylight in the ceiling. The doors of the births are uniform in appearance, the upper panels closed with green Venetians. The sa- loon is handsomely decorated. Through the two doorways at the end, a view of the deck of the steamer. A table in the centre with seats round it. ACT II. — Scene: The poop deck of the " Simoon," towards evening; a tropical Staircase. ....| I- Rail. ^ Staircase. 1 I—. sunset sky ; an awning spread ; cabin skylight combings seen above the deck, with Beats round them ; seats at the gangways ; companion seen beyond the skylight. At the back, the rail bounding the poop deck, with openings for the staircases leads ing to the waist of the vessel. Lounging chairs disposed about. ACT HI.— Scene : A coral reef coming down to the edge of the sea, which is seen : Tent for • onoo OOOOO Barrels. : Women and • : Children. • : • Store • Tent. [][][] [] : Cases. : G : I r' "*' " ") "• cnG : ^nn : Cases. : : • QGong. 1 . ^ • : ~~ — , in flat. Rough tents i-igged out of spars and sails, e. and i.. That to the r. iathe tent occupied by the women and children ; it occupies three entrances. That to the I,., which projects so as to intercept part of the sea view, is the store tent. Barrels, cases, wine and beer bottles, and preserved meat cases are partially visible, piled about and imder it ; a gong hung on a spar near it, and a flag hoisted on a flagstaff. COSTUMES. Mk. Colepepper. — Suit of nankeen, with white jean vest ; low-cut shoes. Major McTukk.— Fatigue uniform coat, white panta and vest, the latter with gilt buttons. 4 THE OTEKLAND EOtTTE. Bib Solomok Fraseh, K. C. B. — Eich India dressing gown, wMte vest and pants; low-cut shoes. Me. Lovibond. — 'White cotton night cap, and white flannel dressing gown. Second dress : Check pants and vest, linen ; light tweed coat. Tom Dexter. — Plain tweed travelling suit, light in material, dark in color. Second dress : Surgeon's uniform of P. and O. S. S. Company. Captain Smart.— Uniform of P. and O. S. S. Company. Habdisty. — Uniform of first officer of the P. and O. S. S. Company. Captain Clateeing.— Undress uniform of captain in Hon, E. I. Co.'s service. ToTTLE.— Steward's uniform of P. and O. S. S. Co. Moleskin. — Suit of dark blue nankeen. Limpet. — Suit of white linen. Second dress : Guernsey shirt, and red plush breeches. Mrs. Sebright. — Fashionable dress of handsome India sprigged muslin. Note. — In Act JII. the characters have different hats, caps, shoes, from those worn in Acts I. and II. ; and every article should have a careless and hap-bazard appear- ance. 'iFor Properties and Stage Directions see last page.] SYNOPSIS OF THE PLAY. As the title of this play indicates, the action of the piece brings out in strong relief the incidents of a voyage from India in an Orient^ steamship. Acts I. and //. occur on board the steamer ; Act HI. on a desolate coral reef. The piece has many capital and strongly defined characters. It is not possible to do any- thing like justice to the great merits of this play, either as regards plot or characters, by a brief sketch— but the following outline may give some general idea of the piece. Among the heterogeneous ingredients thrown together in the saloon of the steamship Simoon, are Mb. Colepeppbr (with an only daughter, and she was passing fair), a rich commissioaer ; Sir Solomon, a high India official ; Major Mc- Tdhk; a Captain Claveiiing, a staff-ofiiJer ; an attractive married lady, Mrs. Se- bright ; a dashing married lady, Mhs. Lovibond ; several ofiicers of the ship, and though last not least, Tom Dexter. Mr. Colepepper and Sir Solomon are both desperately in love with Mrs. Sebright, and each offer her very tempting inducements to bestow her hand upon him. The lady plays them as a skillful angler does a trout ; but keeps them well out in the stream. Meanwhile McTurk is quite as busy seek- ing to captivate Mes. Lovibond, who is equally tantalizing in her behavior. Mr. Colepeppeb's daughter all this time is ciosely attended by Captain Clavering, who appears to have won her confidence, though not her iiffcctions. This is the state of affairs when one Tom Dexter appears upon the scene. This individual (who en passant is a splendid character), suddenly appears amidst all this cooing and billing, upon the Captain's invitation, brought about in this manner: the ship's surgeon is stricken down with tever, but his place is more than filled by the volun- teer services of Tom Dexter, a steerage passenger, who, besides being a skillful medico, proves himself an able and considerate adviser and consoler. The Captain brings Tom into the cabin, inducts him into the sick doctor's place, and Tom, nothing loth, soon becomes the ruling spirit of the scene. He soon gives Mrs. Sebright to understand that her flirtations may not be so innocent as she deems them; makes Mrs. LoviBOSD mind her p's and q's; cuts the comb of Captain Clavbring; and brings to Miss Colepepper's recollection the fact that her life was saved during the Sepoy mutiny by a gentleman not unlike Tom Dexter. There is an under current of broad farce running through this piece. Mr. Lovibond had bought the ticket of a man accused of a felony, and had given the name corresponding to the ticket, a detective shadows him, and a variety of droll situations grow out of this queer misunderstanding. In Act III., when the whole party are thrown upon the desert reef, the lion's skin is dropped, and all the personages appear us they really are. Here Tom Dexter comes out strong, and finally through his skillful management, explanations, followed by reconciliations, take place, and everything is lovely. THE OVERLAND ROUTE. ACT I. • SCENE. — The saloon of the Simoon under the poop dec!:. As the curtain rises, Tottle and two steward's mates are seen dusting table and seats. Limpet {at door of cabin, No. 3, l.). Mr. Tottle ! 'Ow often am I to horder Sir Solomon's brandy and sodal Gkimwood [at door of cabin No. 2, E.). I've been a-calling for my young lady's tea this half hour ! Tottle. Aye, aye, miss. — Coming, Mr. Limpet. — Jackson, brandy and soda for No. 10- (Jackson is guing.) Grim. No , we're No. 10. It's tea we want. (Jackson returns ) Limpet. We're No. 6. \Exit Jackson, perplexed. Tot. Aye, aye, sir. Tea for No. 6, Smiles. (Smiles going.) 1st Ayah (from cabin No. 4, l.). Missy wants doctor very bad, Tnassa steward. {^TAihzs pauses.) ToT. Aye, aye. Smiles, the doctor for No. 3, and look alive ! 2nd Ayah (from cabin No. 4, r. Re-enter Jackson with soda and tea). Miss Polly Rabbits and Massa Charley very sick. Missy Rabbits' com- pliments, and hope de doctor send dem powders. Tot. Aye, aye. The doctor, No. 4, Jackson, directly. [Exit 3 kCKSo^. Hakdistt {putting in his head at entrance, r. c). Steward, bear a hand on deck here. Tot. Aye, aye, sir. Bless my heart ! Here's work for one head and the usual allowance of arms and legs. Limp. ^ all putting their ( Brandy and soda ! Grim. (_ heads out of ) Tea ! 1st Ayah. T their cabins at "^ De doctor for missy ! 2nd Ayah, j once. [^ De powders "for de babies ! Hard, {putting in his head again). Hilloa ! Saloon there ! ToT. {hastily gives Limpet the cup of tea and Geimwood the brandy and soda-water bottle). Aye, aye, sir! {rushes out, r. c.) Limp. ) Tea ! 1 ordered soda and brandy. Grim. ) Man — this ain't tea ! Limp, {coming forward with tea). Such attendance ! Here's your tea, Mrs. Grimwood, if 1 might trouble you for our soda and brandy. Grim. Really, Mr. Limpet, it's disgraceful. I do 'ope your master will write to the Times when we get 'ome. Limp. That you may rely on, Mrs. Grimwood ; if he don't make a rep- resentation to the guv'ment. Sir Solomon ain't used to this sort of thing. 6 THE OYEELAND EOITIE. Grim. Nor us, neither, I can assure you, Mr. Limpet. What with Khitmagars, Chuprassees, and Punkahwallahs, we'd more servants up the country in Badgerypore, than we knew what to do with. Limp. Just like us. But, for all that, I shan't be sorry to be back in dear old Hengland, if I've to do for Sir Solomon all bj- myself for the rest of my born days. Grim. Nor me neither, Mr. Limpet. But, bless me, the tea's a-getting cold. Limp. And the soda-water's a-getting hot. Grim. Good morning, Mr. Limpet. [JExit into cabin No. 2, R. Limp. Good morning, Mrs. Grimwood. [Exit into cabin No. 3, l. Enter, from e. d. c. in flat, Capt. Smart, a telescope in his hand, and Haedisty, F Smart. Well, Hardisty, as we're clear of the straits, I shall turn in for the rest of the watch ; tell the second officer to look alive, and get the new passengers shaken down. Hard. What, with the sick and sorry, there's work for three doctors among 'em, let alone Kingston at his best ; and now he's regularly on his beam ends. Smart. What d'ye mean ? The doctor down ! Nothing serious I hope. Hard. I sent Tottle to inquire, sir. Here he comes. Enter Tottle, e. c. Smart. Well, Tottle; what's the report from the doctor 1 Tot. The doctor's compliments, sir, and he's got the fever, sir ; and if the attack goes on all right, he ought to be delirious about eight bells. Smart. Delirioue ! And invalids on board, too ! Suppose it should spread. Hard. And the ship so crowded with those Aden passengers. Smart. By-the-bye, I've hardly overhauled the list yet, Tottle. Tot. Here it is, sir I was a-making out the dinner places, {produces list. Smart examines it.) Enter Moleskin, behind, r. c. There's one on 'em, sir — berth No. 2, there — by the name of Downy. Moleskin {aside). Holloa ! {listens.) Tot. 1 never see a man look so green. He said it was no use my put- ting him down, for his head was a-turniug round so he'd he sure to come up t'other side of the table. Mole, {com in ff forward). Poor Mr. Downy ! Smart. Downy, eh ? I remember ; he's a Singapore passenger, en- gaged his berth from Calcutta, but came aboard at Aden. Mole. Ah! 1 daresay he had some good reason ; which, did you say was his cabin ? Tot. {pointing). No. 2, sir. Had you any business with him 1 Mole. Oh, dear, no ! I only asked from humanity. I'm sorry he's so near the stein. He'll feel the motion very badly, (aside) My man, as sure as a toucher ! (retires up and makes entries in a note-book, and strolls off, R. C.) Smart {to Hardisty). An inquisitive customer that— always poking his nose into everybody's concerns. But about this precious business of the doctor 1 ACT I. 7 Habd. Here's the major in charge of the invalids, sir. Enter Major McTukk, d. l. c. McTuRK { pom2ioiisly). Ah, Smart! Pleasant morning; a spanking breeze well on the quarter— she's doing ten knots. I've timed her. {pat- ronizingly to Haedisty) Good morning, Mr. Hardisty. Smart. How are j'our invalids, major ? McT. Oh ! the fellows are settling down comfortably enough. That doctor of yours is a smart hand. Smart {aside). Now for it. A capital oflScer, major. But even doctors can't always keep their own bills o health clean. McT. What do you mean ? Why he's hopping about the steerage like a sanitary inspector ; and there ke is fumigating, and airing, and Burnete-fluiding to say nothing of physicking. Smart {aside). The doctor must have been taken delirious at seven bells instead of eight. I'm very glad you're satisfied, major. McT. Why, the man's laugh is as good as a tonic. Smart. His laugh ! {aside) The doctor must be delirious ! Didn't it sound rather wild 'i McT. Wild ! not a bit of it. Clear as a bell, and collected as a word of command. I was so pleased with the fellow that I asked for his card, a thing one's not in the habit of doing with a medico, even in the ser- vice. Here it is {shows card) — Dexter — " T. Dexter, M. R. C. S." I said rather a good thing, apropos of the card. " Well, Mr. Dexter," I said, " you're well named, for a more dexterous practitioner I never came across." Dexterous— jou see. Ha, ha! Not bad was it, for an off-hand thing 1 Smart. Capital ! {aside) Who the devil can this be, I wonder ? JEnter Mrs. Lovibond from her cabin, 1 e. l. McT. Ah ! Mrs. Lovibond I Smart converses aside with Tottle, who goes off. In full bloom like a rose with the morning dew on it. Mrs. L. Now, Major, how can you "? Good morning, Captain. Do you think I may venture on deck 7 You're sure those Lascars have done swabbing and swish-swishing about with those dreadful rope mops without handles 1 Smart. Deck's as dry as a drawing-room, ma'am. • Mrs. L. Then, major, may I ask for your arm ? McT. {aside to her). Both of 'em, my dearest lady. Mrs. L. The motion of the vessel really so throws one on some kind of support. McT. The more it throws you on me, the better I shall like it. Mrs. L. Ah ! Major ! [Exeimt, coquettishly, leaning on the Major, l. d. f. Smart. That's a case, Hardisty. Hard. She's giving him a full broadside, sir, at all events. Smart. Astonishing how these widows knock over the military. But who can this extempore Doctor be, I wonder ? I sent Tottle to make him out. Enter Tottle, k. c. ■^ Tot. It's all-right, sir. He's worth six of Dr. Kingston, any day ; why, 8 THE OTEKXAND KOUrE. he makes his patients laugh on the right side o' their mouths, till tliey quite takes their physic with a happetite. Smart. I never heard of a regular doctor doing that, eh, Hardisty ? Tot. The women is a-blessing on him, right and left, and the babies — you'd think he'd served his time in a foundling hospital, to see the way he handles the little hinnocenLs. Smaut. Say Captain Smart wishes to see him aft, directly he's at liberty. Tot. Aye. aye, sir ! [Exit Tottle, e. c. Smart. Why, Hardisty, this is a regular god-send. Enter 1st Atah frmn cabin No. 4, l. 1st Atah. Bless me ! I wonder where dat Doctor ; Mem Sahib want him ever so bad. Enter 2d Ayah from cabin No. 4, e. 2d Atah. Tou just wait, please. Miss, till doctor come see my Missy babas. 1st Atah. '^ all C (fOMi^M^tooMsZt/) Who your Missy baba ? 2d Atah. > speaking < What your Mem Sahib, I like to know 1 3d Atah. ) together (^ Oh ! Please, Captain Sahib. Smart. Silence ! you chattering blackbirds ! {exeunt Atahs, chattering into their respective cahinsi Just come into my cabin, Hardisty. What with Lascar crews, Madras parrots, and up country Ayahs, a fellow might as well sail Cantain of Noahs Ark, as a P. and 0. steamer. [Exeunt Haedistt and Smart, d. l. c. Enter 3d Ayau from cabin, 1 e. r., Mocks at Sir Solomon's cabin, 3 e, l., Limpet looks out. 3d Atah. Missy Sebright's salaam to Burra Sahib Fraser, and she 'ope he gib her his arm on deck dis morning. Sir S. (within). Say I shall be happy. Limp. Sir Solomon will be hap Sir S. No. On second thought, Limpet, substitute for the word happy — the word de-lighted. Limp. Say Sir Solomon will be de-lighted. 3d Ayah. I tell Mem Sahib. [Exit into cabin 1, e. b. Enter Sir Solomon f?-om cabin 3, b. l. attended by Limpet, carrying his pith-cap and umbrella. Sir S. Yon, Limpet, I dare say, would not perceive any great dis- tinction between the expressions — I shall be happy, and I shall be delij2,hted. Limp. No, Sir Solomon. If I might make bold, I should think it were about six o' one and half-a-dozen of the other. Sir S. [with a feeble laugh). He! he! he! There are a good many men in high diplomatic positions, not a bit more discriminating than you, Limpet. Limp. I dare say. Sir Solomon. Sir S. My solar topee, Limpet. (Limpit gives pith-hat) Have you con- sulted the thermometer this morning 1 , Limp. Eighty in the shade. Sir Solomon. Sir S. In that case, my umbrella, Limpet. (Limpet gives it) One can- ACT I. 9 not take too great precautions against exposing the brain to the sun. Limpet, the head is my weak point. Limp. I should think so, Kir Solomon, SiK S. When I say "the head," understand me, Limpet, I do not mean the head intellectually considered, but the material integument of the brain. Limpet, you appreciate the distinction ? - Limp. You mean the skull. Sir Solomon? S114 S. Precisely. My skull is thin. Limpet — all highly organized skulls are thin, — yours is thick, Limpet; you are not highly organized. Limp. No, I'm only a tliick-headed Limpet. [Uxit Limpet, 3 e. l. Ilnter Mr. Colbfeffer froin his cabin, 3d e. e. Cole, {comes forward'). Good morning. Sir Solomon. Sir S. Ah ! Mr, Colepepper ! stirring so early ^ Arn't you afraid of the morning air ? Cole. No, sir ; nor the moi'ning sun neither, and that's more than you can say, to judge by your precautions, [pointing topith-hat and umbrella.) Sir S. 1 have still a constitution to preserve, Mr. Colepepper. Cole And I have one, sir, that doesn't require preservation. It's above proof, sir, — tried in thirty years of hard woik — cold weather and hot — kutchery and jungle— hunting-field and up-country station — not dozing and dangling in lazy luxurious native courts — ^like some people with nothing harder to do than to nod at a nautch — or to take the air on an elepliant houdah. Sir S. Diplomatic life, too, has its fatigue, Mr. Colepepper. Cole. I daresay. It must be hard work to keep down yawns, and to keep up appearances. Sir S You forget the delicate negotiations to conduct. . Cole. As the fly on the coach wheel conducts the carriage Sir S. And the dispatches to be written Cole. From the draft of a private secretary. No, no, Sir Solomon. Don't tell an old civil servant. European diplomacy's a corned j"^, but Indian diplomacy's a farce very ill acted, and very well paid for. But I'm wasting my morning, i^gocs to cabin, 1 r. e., and knocks) Ayah, tell Mrs. Sebright Mr. Colepepper is ready to give her his arm on deck. Sir S. (aside). The imjjertinent old interloper ! I regret, Mr. Cole- pepper, that Mrs. Sebright has already engaged me as her escort. Cole. That was before she knew she could command my services. Sir S. That you will allow the lady to decide. Here she comes ! Hn'er Mrs. Sebright, 1st cabin, r. Mrs. Sebright. Ah ! Sir Solomon ! and Mr. Colepepper, too ! Was ever a poor little woman so well guarded ? Two doughty squires at my beck. (Mr. Colepepper takes off his cap and boivs ; Sib Solomon does the same, embarrassed ivith his hal, stick, and umbrella) Tlie one armed cap-a- pie, the other cap-a-pluie. Sir S. i f Mrs Sebright will accept my escort Cole. My arm is always at your service. Mrs. S. Oh! bless you ! I want nobody's arm— not! — I fancy I've the best sea legs of the three. It would be a positive sin to disappoint either of such preux chevaliers. So, Mr, Colepepper, if you would just run to my cabin and tell ray Ayah to give you the novel that's on my dressing-table, (Col 1 pepper is going) and my shawl, Mr. Colepepper — and the footstool, please, [Exit Colepeppbr, into the cabin. 10 THE OVERLAND EOTJTE. Sir S. And now, Mrs. Sebright, that we're relieved of the old Commis- sioner — {offers Ms arm.^ Mks. S. Dear, dear, what a head I have ! Not the gray shawl ! Tell the Ayah, Sir Solomon, the white one. And my poor dear little love birds, Sir Solomon — ttieyll be dyinc; for want of fresh air. [Exit Sir Solomon, No. 1, r., reluctantly. Re-enter Colepeppek, with novel, shawl, and /ootstool. Oh ! how very good you are ! [taking the things.') Cole, {aside). She's got rid of Fraser ; now, my dear madam — {endeav- ors to offer his arm.) Re-enter Sir Solomox, with a load of shawls, cushion, and birdcage, etc. {aside) Here's that puppy back again ! Mrs.'S. Sir Solomon, I'm positively ashamed to see you so loaded — and Mr. Colepepper, too But you both offered me your arms, you know — and as I don't want 'em for myself — the least I can do is to use 'em for my little comforts — and when I'm snugly ensconced in a shady corner, Sir Solomon shall read to me. Won't you, dear Sir Solomon ? Sir S. With pleasure, my dear madam, if it won't bore Mr. Colepep- per. {aside) That ass Colepepper hates listening. Mrs. S. And Mr. Colepepper shall point out to me all the objects of interest on the coast. Won't you, dear Mr. Colepepper 1 Cole. I shall be delighted, my dear Mrs. Sebright — if it won't inter- rupt Sir Solomon's reading, {aside) That puppy Fraser hates not being listened to ! Mrs. S. What a pleasant trio we shall be, to be sure ! our little party will be the only one^ aboard the Simoon without any jealousy or heart- burning, eh, Mr. Colepepper ] Quite a happy family — shan't we Sir Solomon ? With poor me to play the part of the white cat. (going.) Sir S. {aside, following her). Colepepper for the wizened old monkey ! Cole, (following). And Sir Solomon for the jackdaw, {they pass up to k. c. D., leading to deck. As Siu Solomon and Colepepper try to pass out at the same door theyjcstle. Dexteii appears and attempts to enter.) : Dexter. Holloa ! one at a time, gentlemen 1 {the two separate and go off. Mrs. Sebright, Colepepper, Sir BojjOuos, following, d. l. c, in fiat.) Dkx. {comes down). A well-laden pair of pack asses— with Jenny Se- bright, like the little bell mare, trotting on ahead. Catch her carrying anything ! Sir Solomon Fraser and Colepepper, too, none of the tiio recognized me ! How would honest Jack Sebright like to see his •' little woman," as he calls her, making a fool of these two old fogies, that ought to know better. Ah, Mary Colepepper ! if Tom Dexter had a good coat on his back, and a saloon berth instead of a steerage one, he might be making a beast of burden of himself at your heels, as these old boys are at saucy Jenny Sebright's. Unter Smart and Rardisty, from cabin, e. e. Oh ! here's the captain ! {touches his cap, sailor-fashion) Well, captain, you passed the word for me ? Smart Oh ! You're Mr. Dexter t Dex. Yes. (jumps on the table and sits.) Smart. Won't you take a chair ? Dex. I prefer the table— I hke to swing my legs. ACT I, 11 Smart. I've to thank you, it seems, for taking iny surgeon's duty among the steerage passengers. Dex. Why, as they were patients without a doctor, and I was a doctor without patients. Here s my diploma — you see — licensed to drug, dose, and draw teeth secundum artems, and the London pharmacopoeia ! Don't be afraid ! If anybody dies under my hand it won't be murder, but justifiable homicide — by medical misadventure. Smart. Excuse me. But we don't often find professional gentlemen in the steerage. Dex. Oh! I'm used to roughing it! Come, I see you're curious to know how a smart, good-looking, well-educated young fellow like me comes into this plight, {showing his threadbare coat sleeve') Question and answer's slow work ! I'll run my story right off the reel like a log line. SMAiiT. Heave a-head ! ©EX. I was educated for a doctor. But the practice isn't so easy to come at as the profession. As I had a fancy for the pen as well as the lancet, I took to scribbling, for want of patients — but 1 soon got tired of penny-a-lining, and shipped as surgeon aboard a Guinea trader. There 1 mastered the African fever, both as doctor and patient — got a sickener of Kroomen, palm oil, and mangrove swamps, and took a doc- tor's berth in one of Green's India ships. Left her at Kurrachee for a run up the country. Fell in with the Nawaub of Ramshacklegur, just as he was suffering from an awful indigestion of prawn-curry, and phy- sicked myself into his favor. The Nawaub was a capital fellow, but he had an awkward knack of poisoning his wives when he was tired of them, and they very naturally were inclined to return the compliment. As I wouldn't agree to help the gentlemen to poison the ladies, or the ladies to poison the gentleman, of course both parties quarrelled with me, so I had to bolt into British territory to save my bacon. Then I had a shy at all sorts of things — started a hydropathic establishment at Simla, and made money — invested it in an indigo plantation in Behar, and lost it— till, somehow or other, I one day found myself installed as editor and proprietor of a paper at Badgerypore. " The Mild Hindoo," I called it — I hoped to succeed by sticking to truth and writing like a gentleman — but I soon found that wasn't the line for an Indian editor. My subscribers wanted their articles like their dinners, all capsicum and curry-powder. Just as I was thinking of cutting the concern, out broke the mutiny, and the concern cut me. My presses were smashed, my type cast into bullets ; my back stock cut up for wadding — some of my articles must have had an uncommonly wide circulation in that form — and I had to run for my life ? I disguised myself as a Fakir — buff and wood ashes — and doctored my way down to Calcutta, where I soon picked up enough to pay my passage home — and here I am. Smart {shakes hands with him). By George, sir ! I like a fellow who can take his life in his fist, as you've done — and none the worse if he bring a kind heart out of the tussle. My doctor's on the sick list. Will you take his place for the run to Suez 1 I'll enter you on the ship's books and give you berth aft 7 Dex. I'm your man ! My traps won't take much shifting. About my outfit, though 1 {looking at his coat) Seedy, ain't it 1 I've some old acquaintances aft here. Smart. Never fear. We'll new rig you among us. Eh, Hardisty 1 Hard. You're welcome to auything in my chest. Dex. Spoken like a man and a brother ! filter Captain Clavering, d. p. c. He goes to Miss Coi^epepper's cabin, (in(i knocks, 2 e. k. 12 THE OVEELAND KOUTE. Oh ! I've seen that face before. To be sure ; it's Clavering— one of my old Simla acquaintances. Claveking at Miss CoiiEPEPPEE's eahin. Clavek. Miss Colepepper, your father has sent me to beg you'll come on deck. They've cau<;ht a shark. Smart {to Haudistt). Jump up, Hardisty,and see none of the people get their legs broken skylarking with the brute's tail. \Bxit Hardistt, d. r. c. Dex. {coming towards Clavering). Captain Clavering, I think 1 Claver. {coldly and insolently ). Ya — a — a — s, {staring at him.) Dex. You ought to remember me. Claver. Ought 11 I don't though, {turns on his heel.') Enter Miss Colepepper, d. 2 e. r. Miss C. I'm quite ready, {sees Dexter and recognizes him but half doubtfully ) Dux. Yes, Miss Colepepper, you're quite right ; it is your old Badg- erypore acquaintance. Miss C. Mr. Dexter ! I did not know you were on board ; we have not seen you in the saloon. Dex. No ! I'm in the steerage. Claver. Captain Smart, I didn't know steerage passengers were ad- mitted to the saloon. Smart. This gentleman is one of my officers from to-day, Captain Clavering; and my officers are company for my passengers. Claver. Ah! 1 say, Miss Colepepper, if you've any curiosity about the shark — {goes up.) Miss C. Oh, yes,— (to Dextek) — Mr. Dexter — [embarassed) — I am very glad to have met yea ; I'm sure my father will have pleasure in renew- ing his acquaintance. Dex. I don't think so or he'd not have left me to kick my heels among the Syces and Chuprassies under the verandah when I called at your house in Calcutta. Claver, I say. Miss Colepepper, if you don't come the shark will be quite cup up. {up stage.) \ Dex. Pray, go ; neither sharks nor staff-officers ought to be kept waiting. Miss C. Come, Captain Clavering ; I'm very sorry, Mr. Dexter. [Uxeunt Miss Colepepper and Captain Clavering, d. e. Smaet. Hang these young puppies of soldiers ! Dex. Never mind, Captain ; give me five minutes to freshen his memory, and I'll make this youngster civil enougl), I'll answer for it. Come along ; only let me mount the P. and 0. uniform. No man ever yet did justice to himself in a coat out at elbows. [Hzii Dexter and Smart, e. c. d. Enter 'Mrs. Sebright and Mes. Lovieond, l. c. d. Mrs. S. (r.). No. I can't stand it. Catching the shark was all very good fun, but cutting him up — oh ! Mrs. L. (l.). Ah ! Only think, my dear Mrs. Sebright, what that odious Mrs. Chatterly said of you just now ] Mrs. S. What did she say 'I Mrs. L. That you had a natural sympathy with hooking^— ACT I. 13 Mks. S. I'm very much oMiged to her, poor dear ! I've heard that sharks will take any bait. But 1 don't think Mrs. Chatterly would attract even a shark I Mrs. L. a mere scrag of a woman, isn't she 1 Mrs. S. Yes, like all Maypoles, can't bear anybody with a figure! Perhaps you heard that spiteful question she asked Captain Smart about you at dinner, yesterday — " whether Mrs. Lovibond paid for tivo berths v' Mrs. L. Ah, my dear, people will say ill-natured things. Mrs. S. And people will be so good natured in repeating 'em. Mrs. L. It's a duty one owes one's friends — especially aboard ship! I assure you if I were to repeat half of what I lieard said of you Mrs. S. Do pray let me hear I 1 do so delight in candid^criticism 1 Mrs. L. Then — they say you're a dreadful flirt — and that you're try- ing to get two strings to your bow — Sir Solomon and Mr. Colepepper. But tharairaing at two birds generally succeeds in bagging neithei". Mrs. S. Now, only think how spiteful some people are. They say t/ou would be gl*d of my leavings. Mrs L. Oh ! no, my dear. I have no ambition to have a pompous old fool like Sir Solomon, or a positive sexagenarian like Mr. Colepepper. Really, my dear, — if 1 might take the liberty of a friend Mrs. S. Do — pray do. If one's friends can't take liberties, who is to do it 1 Mrs. L. I should advise you to be a leetle more on your guard — not to walk on deck quite so late in the evening — to be a leetle less demonstra- tive at dinner, und not to insist upon quite so many attentions from quite so many gentlemen. It makes other women jealous, you know. Not that 1 feel anything of the kind. Mrs. S. Oh, dear, no ! I'm sure, my dear Mrs. Lovibond, you must be quite satisfied with your monopoly of the major. So pleasant, after all the trouble you've had I Mrs. L. Trouble, my love 1 Mrs. S. In bringing such a stubborn wretch to your feet— in spite of bK his resistance. I'm so glad you've succeeded! for I like you very much, you know. Mrs. L. Not half so much as I like you. Mrs. S. Never thought I could have been as fond of one so much older than myself. Mrs. L. I assure you, I'm quite astonished to find myself overlooking in your case ; so much that most people would call giddiness — if not levity. Mrs. S. You are too kind, I'm sure, with the help of ^o««/- experience. Mrs. L. Oh ! I'm afraid I must go to school to yoic — though you may be a year or two my junior. Mrs. S. D^ar me ! is it possible you're only twenty-seven ? How the Indian climate does tell on the constitution ! Mrs. L. It has one quality to recommend it to some people. . It makes a great many young widows. By-the-bye, do you know I've heard some censorious people on board wonder you don't wear youi; weeds. Mrs S. How very odd! I've been bored to death with questions about the late Mr. Lovibond, {confusion heard without, and cry, " man overboard."') Mrs. L "What's that ? Oh ! gracious ! Mrs. S. A man overboard !- Bnter Capt. Claveeing, b. d. c, supporting Miss Colepepper, who is 14 THE OVERLAND KOUTE. Claver. Ya — as -a fellow tumbled from the main yard, and Miss Colepepper went off as if she'd been shot. Mks. B. We'll attend to her. You run and learn the fate of the poor sailor. Claver. I suppose the fellow can swim 1 Of course, everybody can swim. But 1 11 let you know. [Exit, r. d. c. Miss C. (remvwff). Stay ! Harry — Captain Clavering. Oh, if he should risk his life to save the drowning man. Mrs. S. I don't think he looks the least like it, my dear. («•«/ without — "He's in — Huzza — hnzzay) Mrs. L. Hark! a splash! Somebody has jumped in ! Oh! who is it 1 Enter Tottle, r. d. Tot. One of the officers ! Where's the brandy ? [Exit, getting brandy bottle off c. tahle. Miss C. The officers ! Should it be Clavering ! Mrs. L. Oh ! if it were my Hector! {cries, ".He's got himV " JSe's dvwn /" " No ! here he is ! ") Mrs. S. I'm very sorry — ^but I can't get up the slightest excitement. I'm certain it isn't Sir Solomon or Mr. Colepepper ! Miss C. This suspense is agony ! [sinks into a seat.) Mrs. L. Oh ! I cant bear it ! {imitating Miss Colepepper.) Mrs. S. Mind ! It's no use you both fainting. I can only attend to one at a time ! {cries without — ^'Muzza — huzza.^') Enter Major McTukk, l. c. d. Mrs. S. (screams.) McT. Clarinda ! Don't be alarmed, ladies. I've saved 'em. Miss C. Yov!r1 Mrs. L. I knew he had ! Oh ! my noble Hector ! {rushes into his arms.) Miss C. Then it wasn't Captain Clavering 1 McT. Clavering ! Pooh! Before he had got his eyeglass screwed to a focus, 1 had rushed to the stern— sprang to the taffrail Mrs. L. Precipitated yourself into the sea 1 McT. No ; not myself — the lifebuoy. They said they didn't want it ! I knew better ! Miss C. They— who 1 McT. Why, the man who fell overboard, and the fellow who went in after him Mrs. S. Oh, then, there was somebody who threw himself into the sea, instead of the lifebuoy. McT. Yes. Saw him go in from the main chains. A shabby genteel person — looked like a steerage passenger. Miss C. And you don't know his name ' McT. Haven't the slightest idea ! Miss C. Shabby genteel heroism, it seems, must be content to be anonymov^. Enter Sir Solomon, r. h. d., doion r. of Mrs. Sebright. Mns. S. But we heard it was one of the officers. Sir S. One of the ship's officers, ladies. If they had only listened to me, I recommended flinging spars to leeward, or bringing up the ship in the wind and lowering a, boat, at the same time pointing out to the captain the Company's repvehensible neglect in not having the vessel Acr I. 15 furnished with Clifford's patent boat lowering apparatus, which I shall feel it my duty to represent in the proper quarter. Mrs. S. And while you were talking this hasty person actually jumped overboard 1 Sir S. In the most reckless manner! and so risked two lives instead of one. Enter Dexter, l. h. d., in uniform. Dex. {dawn l. of Mrs. Sebright). It's all right, ladies. The man's come to — thanks to hot gruel and blankets. Miss C. And his gallant preserver? Dex. Oh ! he's none the worse for his ducking. Miss C. But his name? MgT. If you insist on knowing, I can send my orderly to inquire in the steer^cfe ] Dex. You may save yourself the trouble. Major. It was I jumped after the man. Miss C. You, Mr. Dexter 1 Sir S. Dexter — Dexter — I know that name I think. Dex. I was medicul adviser to the Nawaub of Ramshecklegur, while you were resident at his court. Sir Solomon. Sir S. To be sure ! Let me tell you, sir, your jumping overboard was a very rash and reprehensible act ! If you had only reflected Dkx. The man would have been drowned. McT. Ah ! if it hadn't been for the lifebuoy which I flung over Dex. Which I didn't avail myself of. Much obliged to you, all the same ! Sir S. {aside). Colepepper's engaged with the shark. Mrs. Sebright, {offering his arm, wp r.) we're just passing Mocha. If you would like to know the statistics of our coffee trade with that region? Mrs. S. {takes his arm). Oh ! delightful ! I do so thirst for useful in- formation ! [Exit, E. c, Mrs. Sebright and Sir Solomos, arm in arm. Mrs. L. {aside). Especially from a K. C B. McT. {to Mrs. LoviBONn). Suppose we take a turn on deck! I have something very particular to communicate. Mrs. L. With pleasure. Major ! Your conversation is always so in- structive. McT. You are such a little flatterer. [Exit Mrs. Lovibond, d. c. l., and the Major. Dex. (l. c.). Now we're alone, Miss Colepepper, let me hand over something of yours — which I have not had an earlier opportunity of re- turning. ( gives bracelet. ) Miss C. The bracelet I lost that dreadful night the mutineers broke into our bungalow. The last thing I remember was a huge sowar — tearing it from my arm. How did you recover it ? Dex. Oh, the fellow was cut down. I picked up his booty as we car- ried you into the compound. Miss C. Then you were there ! — you saved me I Enter Claveeing, r. h. d., down k. Miss C Captain Clavering, I have at last discovered my preserver from the mutineers. Claver. Indeed! Miss. C. Let me introduce you to him. Mr. Dexter, Captain Claver- ing, {goes up — -.Clavering bows haughtily.') 16 THE OVEELAND EOIJXE. Dex. T think Captain Clavering and I have met already. Clavek. I really can't remember it. Dex. Can't you 1 It was at a whist party in the club-room, at Simla. The night of the 16th of August. You may remember, there was a little row about a missing Claver. (embarrassed). Ah — yes — I recall you perfectly now — Mr. Dex- ter, how do you doV — I am very glad to renew an acquaintance which Dex. Begun so very pleasantly. Miss C. I must find my father, Captain Clavering ; I want to tell him what we owe Mr. Dexter. Dex. Pray oblige me by saying nothing about it. Like most English- men in the mutiny, I did my duty ; but I really don't deserve any credit for it. Miss C. (aside). As modest as he is brave. I will respect your gen- erous wish, Mr. Dexter. Claver. I hope you and I shall often meet, Mr. Dexter — it will give me the greatest pleasure, (aside) Confound his brazen face ! [Exeunt Miss Coleprppek and Captain Clavkking, r. c, to the decJc. Dex. There's one swell brought to his bearings for the rest of the voyage. IV s possible the captain might have known nothing about that missing card — but when a fellow holds three honors for four deals Tun- ing, and has a trick of turning up aces Mzier Captain Smart, e. h. c. Smart. You're wanted, Doctor, in the forjecastle. The man you saved insists on thanking you. Dex. I'm glad he doesn't consider my jumping after him so very rash ■"■ and reprehensible. He isn't a diplomatise. Hxeunt Dexter and Smart, d. r. c. Enter Mrs. Lovibond, d. l. c, sits in chair, l. c. Mrs. L. a declaration from the Major at last ! I've been expecting it all the way from Madras — and yet, when it does come, how it flutters one! Three hundred a year, besides his pay. The man is a 1 ttle pompous certainly, and not handsome. But then one has no rigbt to be particular after thirty. I've asked time to consider his offer. First, am I a widow? I've every reason to think so. I have passed for one dui- iog the time I have been in India. It's now ten years since Mr. Lovi- bond left me, and since then no news of him but this melancholy letter. '^ (takes out a tvorn letter) How often I've re-read it—" Clarinda — Meek as I am — much as I have loved you — I write this to bid you farewell forever. J f you should hear of an inquest on my remains, know that it is your jealousy and imperious disposition which have brought me to an un- timelj' end. If ever you marry aeain, may you treat your seftond hus- band better than you have treated your long suffering, but to the last affectionate — Augustus." No date — a black edged envelope and the Dover postmark. I never EX. {aside to Miss Colepepper). Not in voice 1 Oh, Miss Colepep- per! The tone in which you said "Captain Clavering," just now, was the pleasantest music I've heard for many a day. So delightfully chill- ing ! Do sing ! Miss C Not with him ! Will you sing with me ? Dex. Will 1 not! Miss C. Tlien I'll sing. Dex. But you refused Clavering ? Miss C. Yes ; I thought you would ask me. Di<;x. {passionately). Mary! {cheeking himself) I beg your pardon. {ceremoniously) Miss Colepepper. May I offer you my arm to the saloon ? [They go off arm-in-arm, l. c. Claver. {looking up from skylight down which he has been talking). Holloa! she's taUen that fellow's arm I Confound his impudence ! I'll teach him. {going violently after him) No, (stops) curse him ! he knows too much. [Exit, sulkily, R. Enter Moleskin and Lovibond, l. c, he wears a great coat, with the collar up, and handcuffs under the long sleeves of his chat, and a large hat nearly concealing his features. Mole. (l.). There's a style of toggery for the tropics ! Why, it's enough to make a man prespire to look at you. How can you 1 Lev. (r.). It's not for warmth— quite the contrary. I'm running away mider 'em ! It's the natural desire of a man in my degrading position to escape observation. You will cruelly force me on deck, but I hope you won't compel me to show my face. They allow masks even to the prisoners at Pentonville. Mole. Degraded be blowed ! You're not the first nor the last gent that's had a misfortune. Besides, nobody knows but you're a gentleman, and Fm a gentleman. Lov. But you never leave me ! Mole. What o' that ! It's only a case o' two gentlemen that's werry fond o' one another. Lov. And these fetters ! {holds up his wrists to show the handcuffs. ) Mole. The darbies ! Oh! keep your cuffs well down and nobody will be any the wiser. Lov, But suppose my nose should itch, and I want to scratch it 1 Mole. Well, in that case, you must ruh it against something. Lov. I sui)pose it's no use asserting^ my innocence any more 1 Mole. Not a bit of it. Lov. Still there's a melancholy satisfaction in repeating that I'm not the felon Downy— that I was left at Aden by the breaking down of the last P. and 0. boat, in which I ought to have reached Suez. I found a dozen names before mine on the list for the Simoon, and was fool enough to jump at a berth offered me by the felon Downy, for a slight advance, little dreaming what would be the consequence. Mole. That's a werry feasible story, but it won't wash. Lov. What do you mean by " it won't wash ? " {disgusted.") Lov. Why should you ha' come aboard by the name of Downy, if you are somebody else 1 Lov. Because, Mr. Moleskin, at the intermediate stations, passengers are booked contingent on vacancies. Now, Downy stood No. 1 for Suez : I stood No. 10. By assuming the name of Downy I stepped into hia shoes as No. 1. ACT ir. ^ 81 Mole. "Werry artful, indeed ! But how do you account for your pos- session of that there bag ? ^Lov. The felon Downy begged me to take it for him. I was to leave it at Shepherd's Hotel, Cairo. What a damned fool you are ! jVIole. {admiringly^. Well, that's more than I can say of you. You are a cute 'un, Mr. Downy! But it won't do, bless you; the likeher it looks, the less I beheves it. You've got no witnesses, you see, to iden- tify you as somebody else. Lov. {aside). Identify me, eh ? Good heavens ! Clarinda could do it at once ! But then I should only get rid of the handcuffs of justice, to put on those of matrimony. Still there's no other way of redeeming my character, so here goes. Mr. Moleskin, you place me in a painful dilem- ma. There is a lady on board who can prove I'm not the felon Downy. But I must request a private interview with her, or the consequences may be awful. ]\foLE. Who is it 1 Lov. Mrs. Lovibond. MoL K. I know : the fine woman with the light 'air and blue eyes. Quite the lady, she is. I think I might trust you with her : in course, keeping a heye on you both. Lov. {iviping his nose on Moleskin's shoulder'). He told me to rub it on something ! Hem ! Then let Mrs. Lovibond know that a gentleman wishes to speak with her privately, on most particular business. Mole. But I must give her some name. Suppose 1 say " Downy ?" Lov. Call me what you will. In my position, one name's as bad as another, [crosses to l.) Mole, {goes to skylight). Steward ! Tell Mrs. Lovibond to step upon deck, Mr. Downy wants her. You didn't think I was agoing to lose sight of you, did you, Mr. Downy 1 Just come back. Lov. Yes; it's the last "desperate alternative. Some people might say that it's "out of the frying pan into the fire." But on the whole I would rather endure penal servitude as Lovibond the married man, than as the felon Downy. Both sentences would be for life ; but the one will be a case of convict allowance, Carpentaria, and gray and yellow dittoes. Besides, it's possible Clarinda may be changed. She may be affected by my position — this wasted form — these fettered limbs — this disgust- ingly familiar detective. Enter Mrs. Lovibokd, l. Oh ! how I hate that fellow ! Mrs. L. Mr. Downy seeking an interview; no doubt to apologize for his intrusion. Major McTpek shows his head cautiously from behind the companion hatch. McT. A request for a private interview with Clarinda. She little thought I overheard the message. From this shelter I can watch what passes. Moleskin watches the interview from one of the gangway seats near top of skylight. Mrs. L. Mr. Downy, you have sought an interview. I can readily guess the motive of your request. It is granted already. Lov. {aside). I'll break myself to her by gentle degrees, and alter my voice a little. Madam, {disguising Ms voice) it's now some ten years ago since your husband, Augustus Lovibond 32 THE OJ^EKLiND EOUTE. m Mrs. L. Good heavens ! Mr. Downy ! Lov. Left his home in Bernard street, Russell squai'e, at his usual hour after breakfast, on the morning of the 10th of August. ^ Mrs. L. Yes ; from that moment I have had no tidings of him but one letter, from which Lov You inferred that he had sought in another existence that re- pose denied him here. Mrs. L. Oh, sir, how do j'ou know this % Lov. From the unhappy Lovibond in person. Mrs. L. Then he didn't make away with himself 1 Lov. He tried to do it, but couldn't; the man was very miserable. Mrs. L. Alas, sir, by my fault, I'm afraid. Lov. {aside). She owns it! Mks. L, 1 thought I had driven him to an untimely end. Lov. You drove him as far in that direction as he was capable of go- ing. Bat when it came to the point, he deteimined to live on. Mrs L. Oh, sir, you've taken a load off my mind. Lov. He engaged a passage to Alexandria, and thence to Singapore ; and there, in honest industry, strove to forget the wife whose jealousy and too great desire for sway had driven him into exilel Mrs. L. And he still lives, sirl Lov. He does; in hopes of one day hearing that his wife, whom he always loved, even while he trembled under her frown, had become a changed being. Mks. L. Oh, sir, she has ; believe me, she has. Are you in communi- cation with him \ Lov. Yes, I see him every day. He has left Singapore. Suppose I told you he was awaiting the arrival of this vessel at Suez ? Mrs. L. I should be so happy. Lov. It wouldn't be too much for you 1 Mrs. L. No ! Lov. Suppose I {rold you he was on board 1 Mrs. L. Oh ! gracious ! Lov. That he stood before you. Here ! {strikes an altitude, removes Ms "hat, and resumes his natural voice) Yes, Clarinda ! Behold yom* long-lost Gussy-! Mrs. L. Augustus ! Is it possible ! You stand apart. Won't you take ms to your arms 1 Lov. Would if I could, (shows handcuffs. MtiTuRK testifies hj gestures his rage at the sight of the kiss, and disappears) But I can't. These mana- cles ! Ovei-powered as I am by emotion, I can't even blow my Would you blow it for me 1 {she ivipes his nose with her pocket handker- chief ) ' ill s. L. A prisoner ! Why, what have you done 1 Lov. Nothing ; but it seems Downy has done all sorts of thing. He gave me up his berth and the use of his name. No doubt he knew he was tracked, and that the officers were on board. I've been avrested for him I've sent for you to identify me. Yonder sits the detective. Speak the word, and your Augustus once more walks abroad in the proud consciousness of freedom, and a hght coat better suited to the climate. Mrs. L. I won't loose a moment! {she goes up, k., to Moleskin, and speaks toith him earnestly.) Enter Sir Solomon from companion, l. Sir S. Mr. Downy, allow me to present my card, {gives card. Lovibond ACT u. 33 tahes it awhwardly, owing to his handcuffs) As a diplomatist, it is my pecu- liar function to prevent fighting. But, as a gentleman, of course, 1 can't refuse to be the bearer of a hostile message. Lov. A hostile message to me! Why, I've offended nobody ! {aside) Oh. I suppose it's meant for Downy. Sir S. Pardon me. I am instructed to say that you have insultea a lady, to whom Major McTurk stands in the most delicate relation. Lov. I know nothing of McTurk, or his delicate relations ! I've in- sulted nobody. Siu S. Ifcrdon me. I am instructed to say that you have most grossiy insulted Mrs. Lovibond : first, by entering her cabin this morning ; and, just now, by openly kissing her on deck before several witnesses. Loiv. But, suppose I'm ready to explain ? Sir S. Pardon me ; I am instructed to say no explanation can be ac- cepted. You will be good enough to refer me to a friend. Eov. Sir, I have no friends ; and, if 1 had, I wouldn't refer you to one. But surely, as a rational man, when I tell you that Mrs, Lovibond is my wife Sir S. Your wife Lov. Yes, sir, my wife ! Sir S. That case was certainly not provided for in my instructions. Lov. Perhaps you'll have the kindness to inform Major McTurk of the fact ; such will be confirmed by the lady, if referred to. i,goes up l. of skylight, to Mrs. Lovibond and Moleskin.) Sir S. Let me see. Here I am, thrown suddenly on my own respon- sibility. I was charged to insist on an appointment to fight at Suez ; but this relation between the parties alters the aspect of the negotiation. A man has, certainly, the right to enter his wife's cabin, and even kiss her before witnesses, though such conjugal endearments are in bad taste. Having, as it were, left Mr. Downy a copy of ray dispatches, I think I may, with propriety, convey his explanation to the Major. , \^Exit, l. Lovibond, Mrs. Lovibond, «>?«? Moleskin come down. Mole. Werry well. You say, ma'am, and will stake yonr davy, if necessary, that the prisoner is Augustus Lovibond — your husband — who left you ten years ago 1 Mrs. L. Yes. Lov. There, sir ! Remove these degrading fetters, [holds out his wrists.) Mdle. Stop a bit ;. don't you be in an 'urry. All you say, ma'am, may be werry true ; I don't doubt it a bit. Only, you see, it proves nothing again this 'ere charge. Lov. Why, it proves I'm Augustus Lovibond. Mole Exactly. Lov. And, therefore, T can't be Thomas Downy ! Mole Wliy not '? That don't follow — Thomas Downy has no end of aliases. Why, there's six on the warrant. How do I know Lovibond mayn't be another alias of Downy — or Downy an alias of Lovibond? Mrs L. Oh, dear! that never occurred to me ! (Lovibond groans.) Mole. Besides, you've been ten years away from your good lady here. How does she know what games you may have been up to all that time 7 Lov. {looking at Mrs. Lovibond). Never ! never ! I've been up to nothing I MoLR. No, no, ma'am; I'm werry sorry for your feelings — bu^ it wont wash ! Lov. My dear, sir, what will wash 1 Mbs. L. What is to be done ? Oh, I know; I'll consult Mr. Dexter. . 34 THE OVERLAND EOTJTE. He's everybody's friend. Good-bye, Augustus — keep up your spirits till I return, {embraces him, sobbing) Oh, dear, oh dear ! Lov. [unable to wijie his eyes). Clarinda, dear, do my nose again, {she wipes his eyes, and exits, l. ) Here's a state of things! I've discovered myself to my wife, and 1 haven't got rid of my handcuffs ! Unter SiK Solomon, l. Sir S. Mr. Downy, I have conveyed your explanation to my principal, Major McTurk. Lov. Ah! of course, he's satisfied'? Sir S. Pardon me. He says that supposing you to be the husband of Mrs. Lovibond, your heartless behavior to that lady, of which she has long ago informed him, renders it more than ever his duty to call you out. It may be as well you should know he Is a dead shot, and that he labors under the impression that, in shooting you he will be ridding the world of- a monster. Lov. Don't talk in that ridiculous manner ! Do I look like a monster ? Silt S. You will excuse my entering upon that question. May I re- quest that you will refer me to a friend to arrange the preliminaries. Lov. There's the doctor. He's everybody's friend. Perhaps he won't object as mine. Slit S. I shall take an early opportunity of conferring with him. Sir, I have the honor to wish you a very good evening. [Exit. l. Lov. Good evening ! 1 thought Mrs. Lovibond would smooth every- thing. But she makes everything worse and worse! Here I am with a wife — a duel — and the handcuffs — all on my hands at once, (down l.) Dex. (down R. ). Now, my dear sir, don't give way to despair. You're safe to be identified sooner or later. Lov. Later, I'm afraid! Dex. The awkward part of the business is, that you've been at Sin- gapore all the time covered by this swindler's transactions. I'm afraid the onlj' way will be to move a postponement of your trial at the Old Bailey, 'till we can get witnesses over from the Straits, to swear you're not Downy. , Lov. But my arrest isn't all, doctor. I've got into a fresh scrape since Clarinda left me. Sir Solomon Fraser has brought me a challenge from Major McTurk. Dex. a challenge ! What for ? Lov. My conduct to my wife, he says Dex. Let me see. Yes, I think I can get you out of that mess. Lov. Can you 1 Ob, my dear doctor Di:x. Certainly. We'll tell the major you're in custody on a charge of felony. Of course, a man in that ignominious position forfeits all the privileges of a gentleman — incl ading that of being popped off with a hair trigger. Lascars enter with lamps from companion, R. and h. — hang lamps — passen-; gers r. and L.,—band l. — when band is on, Lascai4S exit by companion, R. and L. Lov. But the loss of my character 1 Dex. Will be the saving of your life. Choose between 'em. {a pause ; Moleskin comes down r.) Lov. (jio and blast my reputation, (exit Dexter r.) My (passengers be- gin to appear on deck) wife found ! My life ia danger ! My reoutation blighted I ACT II. 35 Mole. Here's the company coming up from supper. Now, Mr. Downy, (taps him on the shoulder) 1 tliink it's about time to turn in. Lov. And a detective continually at my side ! But let, me hide my misery in my cabin. Lead on, myrmidon of the law.* .Mi'LE. Myr — midden! Oome, Mr. Downy, I ve behaved quite the gentleman to you, sir, and I didn't ought to be called out of my natiiC — and by such a hepithet too — " Midden," indeed, Mr. Downy, I blush for you ! ' -Lov. That's the climax! Ife blushes forme! {they go up n., as Lovibond, approaches the companion, Dexter enters, r.) Well, doctor, you've seen the major' s friend 1 Dex. I've seen the major. Lov. And, of course the challenge is off 1 Dex. On the contrary ; he says he'll wait the result of your trial. If you're found guilty, he will leave you to the law. But if you're ac- qufTted, he' 11 call you out the day after. Lov. Good heavens ! I said the climax was attained. This caps the climax ! [Exeunt Lovibond and Moleskin, r. Smart, r., and Hardisty, t , cnme down. Enter Mrs. Sebright, Cole- pepper, Mrs. Lovibond, Sir Solomon, Miss Colepepper, Clav- ERiNG, Mrs. Rabbits, and pther passengers, and, MoTurk ; group at top. Dex. {to Smart). Captain, with your permission, the passengers pro- pose a dance on deck. Smart. All right, Doctor. (Dexter (^oesM^) I'm going to turn in, Har- disty. You'll see the look-outs relieved. It's a fine night, but the moon will bring up a haze with it, and we're not far from the Mazaffa Reefs. Hard. Aye, aye, sir. \Exit Smart, r. Mrs. S. {coming down to Dkxter). Oh, doctor ! both Sir Solomon and Mr. Colepepper want to dance with me. if 1 accept either, 1 know the other will be so angry ; so I told both 1 was engaged to you. Dex. Really, as John Sebright's friend, I don't like this lavish resort to fibbing. Mrs. S. Please don't gay fibbing Dex. Taradiddles, at all events. I've a good mind to throw you over. Mrs. S Oh, please, doctor, if you'll look over it, only this one. Dex. Well, as there's no great harm done, and as you 3re certainly the prettiest partner on board — come along. A dance is formed : Sir Solomon and Mrs. Rabbits; CoLEPEPPEft and Mrs. Lov'.eond : ^Jlavering and Miss Colepepprr ; Dexter and Mrs. Sebiiigiit ; and passengers. In tJie middle of dance, i. e., after galop, cry from the fore part of the ship — "£reaJcers ahead on the port bow,'" Tremendous crash, which sends all the passengers reeling. Hard, {seizing his trumpet at rail). Hard a-port — hard all — (^o Dexter) By heavens, doctor, she's ashore on the MazaiFa Reef ! Dex. Call the captain. I'll keep order here, (^another heavy sound is heard, and steam being let off.) Hard, {through the trumpet). Below there ! Reverse ! Dex. (snatching trumpet from him). Go ahead— rfull steam ! {to engine- room. To Hakdisty) If we back her, she may go down in deep water. {the ladies scream violently — all this passes very rapidly.) [ 36 THE OTEELAND EOtTTE. McT. ) Lower the boats ! Cole. 5 Mary ! keep close to tne ! {children scream from helow the sJcy- ligld — confusion on hoard — loomen run about in terror. ) Dex. [very loua). Silence, all, for your lives ! (a sudden pause) Be cool and obey orders, and ail shall be safe on shore in an hour's time. Enter Smart, e. c. Smart, Thank you for that, doctor ! {through the trumpet) Pipe han'ds to boat stations ! {boatswain' s whistle heard) Boat's crews stand by the tackle falls, ifhey do so) Lower away and keep off ! Carpenter's mates, stand by to cut away masts ! {Chinamen do so.) Hard, {coming up to Smart). She's heeling over fast. The starboard cabins are filling ! The doors are jammed ! The women and children will be drowned ! Dex. We must jump down and pass 'em up by the skylight ! Here goes to save the women and children ! {throws his coat off— jumps down into the skylight and passes up children.) Hard. Heads below ! {follows Dexter.) Miss C. Papa ! papa ! Mrs. S. {in terror). Mr. Colepepper ! Sir Solomon ! Oh, dear, wiU nobody save me ? Mrs. L. {to McTurk). Hector ! {tries to cling to him.) McT. {shaking both off). Hands off ! £50 for a place in the first boat! JEnter Lovibond and Moleskin, l. c. — they cross to r. — Lovibond sinks on the stage, flat on his back. Mrs. L. Augustus ! you'll save me 1 {crosses to him.) Lov. I can't swim in handcuffs ! Tableau. ACT IIL SCENE. — A coral reef coming down to the edge of the sea, which is seen in flat. ToTTLE discovered on guard over the stores, armed with a musket and cutlass — Hardisty sitting on a ease, making entries in pencil in a book. Dex. {calling from xoithin the tent). Four dozen soup and bouilli ! Hard, {writing in his book). Forty-eight S. and B. Dex. Three dozen roast beef. Hard. Thirty-six R. B. Dex. Two dozen and a half pheasants. Hard. Thirty pheas. Dex. Four dozen gelatine. < Hard Forty-eight gal. Dex. That finishes the preserved meats ; and now belay, Hardisty, till I calculate the distribution to the messes. Hard, {putting aioay his book). Well, lye shan't starve yet awhile, that's a comfort, {comes down, l.) ACT III. 37 Enter Capt. Smaet — his arm in a sling — 1 e. e. Smart. Well, Hardisty 1 Hard. On your pins again, captain 1 Smart. Yes ; Dexter has patched me up. 1 thought it was all over with me, when that spar knocked me out of the chains. AVell, Tottle ? Tot. I'm on duty, captain — standing sentry over the stores— or I'd have made bold taask for a grip of your fist,~though ifs clean agin dis- cipline, I know. i Smart. Thanks, my good fellow. I'm glad to see everything looking so ship-shape. Hard. Ah ! we may thank Dexter for that. You may imagine the state of things on board after you were disabled. Smart. That I can — what, with lubberly Lascars, useless invalids, frightened women, and squalling babies. HaiH). Officers and quartermasters did their duty like Englishmen — the passengers behaved well on the whole— but Dexter was our life and soul. She struck at nine, and, thanks to him, we had every man, wo- man, and child ashore, tents rigged, passengers under cover, and all with a comfortable basin of soup in either hold by six in the morning. Tot. And that ain't half, captain. Why, he's collected the stores, settled the messes, regulated the allowances, parcelled out the duty. Blest if he ain't been steward, cook, and bottle-washer, to say nothing of purser, doctor, and loblolly boy. I never see such a beggar to turn his hand to things ! {goes up with Haedisty.) Enter Dextee from the tent, l. u. e. • - Dex. Belay there, Tottle ! or if you will sing my praises, sing 'em smaller. Well, Captain, 1 said, I should have you afloat again in three days, and here you are. Smart. Timbers a little battered ; but good for Lloyd's A. 1. list for many a year to come, (^shakes hands with him) Dexter, I owe you a life. Dex. Be as long as possible in paying me, then.- I hope you approve of our arrangements ? Smart. Couldn't be better. I say, how about provisions ? Dex. We've enough for a fortnight, at least, with care. Smart: And drinkables ? Dex. Ab ! we might be better off there. About forty dozen of beer, half as much claret Smart. But water? J Dex. Only two hogsheads. The first nearly expended in the three days we've been here — I mean to keep the last for the children and the sick. Smart. God help us all, if drink runs short ! Dex. Oh, never fear. I think I could manage to rig up a distilling apparatus out of the ship's coppers and a few musket barrels. Besides, after consultation with Hardisty, I've sent off the second oflBcer with the pinnance, to cruise about the Straits, in hopes they may pick up a steamer and send her to our relief. Smart. The best thing you have done yet — and everything you've done is good. By George ! Dexter, I feel ashamed to talre the command out of your hand. Dex. I don't mean you to — for a week yet, at least. I shall have you on your beam-ends again, if you go fagging about too soon. So be a good child, and go back to bye-bye. Smart. Not I ; I'm quite fit for duty, I tell you. 38 THE OVEHLAND EOUXE. Dex. I know better. What ! you won't go quietly ? Here, Haraisty. (Hakdisty comes down, k. h.) Carry this naughty baby to bed. Hakd. Come, Captain. Smart. I suppose I must obey orders. God bless you, my fine fellow ! If prayers go the right road, you ought to be all safe up there, [pointing to heaven.) [Exit, r. h., leaning on Hardistt. Dex. There's no prayer like work, depend upon it, Captain. Enter Colepepper, l. Cole. My own theory, Doctor. But you illustrate it by practice* Here's my report of the stores washed up from the wreck this last tide. {gives paper.) Dex. {taking paper and glancing at it). One of the tanks of ice, I see. Just the thing for my eoitp-de-soleil patients. Cole. What a mercy it is we've so few sick. For my own part, I haven't felt half so well for the last twenty years. Drx. Because you've never thought half so little of yourself, or half so much of other people. Hard work to a good purpose is the best elixir vita I know. Cole. You're right, Mr. Dexter. Egad ! I feel equal to anything. I could roll up a harness-cask — light a fire — cook a copper of soup — knock kown Sir Solomon ! — Come ! what have you got for me to do this morning ? Dex. There's the wood to chop for the fire ; and the preserved meat tins to open for the mess rations. Cole. Oh ! that's mere laborer's work. Do you know. I think I could make a sea-pie. Do let me try my hand at a sea-pie. Dex. No ! that's high art. Your first is safe to be uneatable ; and we can't afford experiments. But I applaud your ambition. Cole. Ah ! Mr. Dexter, thanks to you for it — as for so much besides. My poor Mary,'but for your care that night Dex. [interrupting). Look ! Here comes Sir Solomon. He doesn't thrive on difficulty, like you. You must have observed the melancholy change in him 1 * Cole. Melancholy change ? You mean his silence 1 I call it the greatest change for the better I ever knew. Enter Sib Solomow, 3 e. l , down c, hisjawstied up with a handkei-chief — a boot on one foot and a shoe on the other — and looks generally dilapidat- ed and seedy. Dex. Why, Sir Solomon, (Sir Solomon hows) I hope you're not suffer- . ing from tooth-ache 1 (Sir Solomon shakes his head ruefiiUy, intimating that he is) Allow me to look at the peccant grinders. (Sir Solomon, with great eagerness, resists any attempt to look into Ms mouth.) Cole. Come, Sir Solomon, don't be down in the mouth. (Sir Solomon makes a grimace at the word mouth) Follow my example. Make yourself generally useful. Dex. Come, sir, we'd better look out the meat cans for to-day's ra- tions, (they go up to store tent, r. u. e.) Sir S. {speaking with difficulty; as he opens his mouth, an entire loss of teeth is apparent). Tooth-ache ! I wish I had ! Down in the mouth ! well I may be ! They may have been washed ashore. Enter Limpet, u. b. r., as if searching. He wears an old pair of red plush breeches. __^ ACT in. 39 Found 'em, Limpet 7 Limp, {m a mournful voice). No, Sir Solomon, I've walked all round the reef; but there's no signs on 'em. SiE S. Continue your search. [Exit Limpet, l., behind tent. Enter Mrs. Sebright, from the women's tent, b. She looks gay and cheerful, and wears a coquettish made-up costume, and handkerchief tied over her head. Mrs. S. Ah ! Good mornino:, doctor ; good morning, Mr. Colepepper. Hard at work, I see, as usual ; Sir Solomon, too. (Sir Solomon turns ruefully and bows) No ; he's not hard at work as usual, (laughs) Oh, dear ! Oh, dear ! You poor, dear, dilapidated man. Do let me take you into hospital and nurse you. What ! no reply ? Then you're an ungrateful monster I Sir Solomon intimates his thanks by signs, and strolls off sadly, e. v. b., Dex- ter and CoLEPEPPEE come down l. Mrs. S. I've developed such a talent for nursing since we were wrecked — haven't I , doctor 1 Dex. That you have. Mr. Colepepper, I call this lady and your daughter my two sisters of charity. I expected a right hand in Miss Colepepper. but I confess Mks. S. You thought Jenny Sebright more ornamental than useful. I hope I've redeemed my character. Cole. You've not discarded the ornamental, I'm happy to see. That dress is monstrously becoming, Mrs. S. I'm glad you like it. I contrived it last night when 1 was sitting up with Mrs. Rabbits' babies. Little Polly's so much better this morning, doctor. Dex. Ah ! that means that you've attended carefully to my directions through the night 1 Mrs. S. Oh, yes ! I gave her her draught every half hour. Poor little darling ! she was so thankful — and her poor sick mother, too. Oh ! doctor, how shall I ever thank you enough for teaching me how much pleasanter it is to wait than to be waited upon. Cole. AVhat ! youve learnt that lesson, too, my dear madam 1 Mrs. S. Oh 1 doctor, it was so pitiful to hear the little darlings cry all through the night, " Water, water ! " Couldn't you allow 'em a pint a piece extra 1 Dex. Impossible, I'm afraid. Mrs. S I'll give up half mine; so will Miss Colepepper, I'm sure; and Mrs. Lovibond ; and all of us. Dex. I've no objection to that. The more you give up, the better you'll thrive on what's left. But I've work for you down at the men's hospital. Mrs. S. Oh, I'm so glad ! What is it 1 Dex. To attend on one of the steerage passengers. He had a coup-de- soleil yesterday, and is delirious this morning. I'm afraid of congestion. I want some one to keep applying ice to his head. He's an odd, mys- terious fellow— and nobody seems to care much about nuising him. Mrs. S. 1 shall be ready directly. I'll just go and see my little charges tucked up comfortably, and show Mrs. Rabbits' Ayah how to make arrowroot properly. I say, couldn't you allow me a leetle extra claret to mix with it, doctor ? Dex. {peremptorily). No ; I tell you ! 40 THE OTEKLAND EOTTXE. Mrs. S. (eoaxingly). Only half a bottle ; and every drop of it for tnB babies, you know. Dex. Hang the woman ! she'd wheedle a boatswain's mate ! Here, Tottle ; serve out half a bottle of claret to Mrs. Sebright. Tot. Aye, aye, sir ! Here you are, ma'am. Mrs. S. {aside to Tottle). You can stop it off ray nest two days' al- lowance, you know, Mr. Tottle. {she goes up to store tent, l.) Cole. What a transformation ! ' Dex. No ; what a revelation ! It was all there ; but it wanted the oc- casion to show itself. Cole Why, there wasn't a lady on board took so much waiting on ! Dex. Because there wasn't a lady on board who had so much offered her. And among the civilest of her civil servants were Sir Solomon and yourself. Cole. Im afraid I was very near making a fool of myself. {Exit Mrs. Sebright into tent, r.) But I've reflected since the wreck. Ah ! Mary. Enter Miss Colepeppee, r. She has a pretty extempore head-dress. Miss C. Dear papa ! {kisses him) Mr. Dexter — {shakes hands with him) how well papa's looking ; isn't he 1 Dex. And you, Miss Colepepper. "Why, hardship seems to agree with your family. Miss C. Oh ! I knew papa would come out under difHculties. He always does. Bless him ! And with your example, Mr. Dexter, we should indeed be cowards to refuse what little help we can give. Dex. Then, sir, just show your daughter that ice they've got ashore. And you get a basket of it, {to Miss Colepepper) and bring it to me here. I'll walk down with you and Mrs. Sebright to the hospital, and show you how to use it. Cole, {going up to store tent). I'll get you a basket, my love. Miss C. {to Dexter). Oh! I'm so thankful that this accident has shown you papa in his true colors. Dex. Now, for the first time, I understand how you come to be father and daughter. Ah! Miss Colepepper, this is life— stripped to the bulF. In our artificial world men are so buckrammed, and padded, and corl»- soled by aids and appliances, that they neither show nor use their mus- cles. After all, we may have a few curs among us ; but, on the whole, Englishmen peel well ; don't they ? Miss C. And Englishwomen 1 Dex. "What —you fishing for a compliment ! Cole {coming doivn with basket, l.). Here's the basket, Mary. The ice is only a few hundred yards along the reef. Miss C. Come along, papa, {crosses to him) I'll be with you again direct- ly, Mr. Dexter. [Exeunt Mr. andMiss, Colepepper, 1 e. l. Dex. Oh ! what a wife that girl would make ! It's enough to drive a fellow wild to think of her being wasted on a loose, idle, pleasure-loving gambler like Clavering ; and all because he's well-born, good-looking, and has heavy interest to bade him ! But to think of old Colepepper turning up such a trump! He can't know this Clavering's real charac- ter, or he'd jiever -But Mary doa't care a fig for him — that's a com- fort ! I've an enormous faith in women's wits and wills. Enter Mrs. Sebright, fron\ tent, r. Mrs. S. Thank you for the compliment. You so seldom pay one. Dex. And that wasn't meant for you. But, come; don't look vexed. ACT III. - 41 I shall have a better account of you to give to Jack than I dared have hoped a week ago. Miss Colepepper is to walk down with us. She's gone for the ice with her old trump of a father. I say, how he has im- proved. Mrs. S. In all ways. Amongst others, he hasn't said a tender word to mc since we were wrecked. I suppose he's too busy — but it's a great comfort. Dex. And has Sir Solomon been equally sensible ? Mks. S. Ah ! he hasn't said a word to anybody — I can't think what's come over him ! Dex. Let's take the good sent us, and ask no questions. Sir Solomon is what Sydney Smith called — a brilliant flash of silence. Mrs. S. At all events, I begin to hope they've both given up thinking of poor me — I can meet Jack so happily now. Di'x. Remember, you'll have to give back Sir Solomon's diamonds, and Mr.^olepepper's shawl. Mrs. S. You spiteful creature ! As if I'd had any pleasure out of 'em! Why, you've got both. But I'm so thankful you have. I feel very good now ; but there's no saying what such temptations might do — and, you know, we may have to live here all the rest of our lives — and then there'd be no Jack in the way. Dex. Here comes Miss Colepepper with the ice. Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 l. e. Miss C. Now then. Ah ! Mrs. Sebright, your smiling face Isn't a bit the worse for your night's nursing. Oh ! Mr. Dexter, if you'd seen her hushing those poor fretful babies ! , Mks. S. Not half so fretful as their poor mother— and you know you were up half the night with her. Dex. Come, I can't have any quarrelling over your respective good works. Hospital mates ! right face ; quick march ! {takes them both on his arm, and exits, 1 r. e.) Enter Limpet, 1 l. b. Limp. Not a trace of 'em ! Sir Solomon's teeth have been swallowed up in the jaws of the hocean ! Well, I hope they look better in the hocean's jaws, than they did in Sir Solomon's. I little thought, when my guv'nor came down by the run into the boat that night, that he'd knocked the whole set out of his head, as clean as a whistle. Well, it's a good job ! for he can't give so many borders as he used, nor talk such a d — d deal o' nonsense. Enter Mrs. Gkimwood, disconsolately, from the tent, b., with a cap in her Ah ! Mrs. Grimwood ! Good day, Mrs. Grimwood ! Grim. Oh, Mr. Limpet ! here's a melancholy situation. I couldn't ha' believed I ever should ha' got through three days of it. Limp. Nor me, neither, Mrs. Grimwood. And if master had been in his usual way, why, I couldn't — I couldn't. Grim. To think of people that's been used to their comforts having to pig in tents like gipsies, or so many Robinson Crusoes. Limp. No conveniencies for meals, nor nothing. GaiM. Not so much as a flat-iron, if I wanted to get up any little fine 42 THE OTEKLAND EOTJTE. thing for myself, or my young lady. Here's a cap — rough-drying is the huttnost I can manage ! Limp. Ah ! when one reads of people being cast away on desolate hi- lands, one don't realize the 'ardships of it. I give you my word, I 'aven't seen a comb or brush these three days. Just look at my head. [takes off hat.) Grim. And as I was below when the vessel struck — would you believe it ? — I had to come ashore without so much as a crinoline ! Limp. Well, I shouldn't have noticed it, if you hadn't spoke about it, Mrs Grimwood. Grim, [loohing at his red plash breeches). But — gracious 'evins ! wot's that? (pointing to them) You've never gone back to livery, Mr. Limpet 1 Limp. What was a man to do 1 with his pantaloons a wreck, like the wessel 1 These disgusting things was washed on shore ; and I was thankful for 'em ! Grim. Ah ! Limp. But my guv'nor has lost suffen what's worse nor crinolines and pantaloons, Mrs. Grimwood, I can tell you ! Grim. What hever can that be, Mr. Limpet 1 Limp. Well, he's lost — his teeth ! Grim. Real ? Limp. No ! they were not real ; but mineral succeed-in-of-em ! Grim- Gracious 'evins ! Poor gentleman ! Well, it ought to teach us submission. But — what's worse than all — to see one's missus so cheer- ful and heasy. and making the best of hercerything to that degree — it's enough to provoke a saint .' Limp. Ah ! Sir Solomon don't take that line, I can tell you. Grim. Would you believe it? she actually demeans herself to wait up- on the men in the hospital. Not gentlefolks, you know ; but common sailors and soldiers — and such like. Limp Ah ! misery — they say — makes a man acquainted with strange bed-fellows ! ' Grim, {offended). Really, Mr. Limpet ! Limp. Meaning, no ofience, Mrs. Grimwood ! Grim. Which if one is cast on a desolate hiland, and without the com- mon necessaries of life, one at least expects the respect due to a fe- male ! Bedfellows, indeed ! Bedfellows ! well, I'm sure ! Exit into tent k., offended. Limp. She hevidedtly turned up her nose. Well, there's such a thing as being nasty particular. Oh ! here comes Sir Solomon. I wonder if he's found his teeth 1 He mustn't catch me a philandering with the fe- males, and so I'll hook it. [Exit^ 1 e. l. Enter Sib Solomon, 1 e. r. Sir S. Can't see 'em anywhere. I've completed the round of the reef, and all in vain ! I must manage till we reach Cairo. I suppose there's a dentist there. These preserved meats are a mercy ! If we had been reduced to hard locusts and junk, I should have starved! I've lost everything, even my umbrella — and walking under the sun is highly dan- gerous to the brain. If I could jjrovide some substitute. Ha ! {finds a hamper lid) This, I think, with a little ingenuity, and a piece of rope- yarn — {adjusts the hamper lid on his head, like a mushroom h^at) Let me re- sume my search. [Exit, r. u. e. Enter Major MoTurk, J e. l. Re looks abject and dishevelled, and limps. ACT in. 43 McT. This infernal corai cuts like a razor, and i escaped m my dress boots. What with the sun overhead and the reef under foot — and only- half enough to eat, and not near half enough to drink — I feel so low and poorly, {sits on a box, disconsolately) I'd hang myself, only there isn't a tree on the reef to fasten a rope to. What's half a bottle of beer for a fellow 1 I can't bear it much longer. And such a lot stored away, yonder. I dare say Dexter helps himself, eh 1 There's only the sentry. Here ! sentry, I say ; 1 want to speak to you ! Tot. (^coming forivard, c). Aye, aye, sir! McT. I'm very bad, sentry ! Tot. Which my name's Tottle, sir. I ain't a soger, sir, I'm a steward, ' McT. Yes, Mr. Tottle, I remember. I'm dying for a drop of beer, or wine, or brandy— anything strong. There's lots in store ; nobody would know if we helped ourselves to a bottle apiece. (Tottle is silent) Perhaps you don't want one. In that case, suppose you let me bave both. I'd give you 9 five pound note — ten — twenty ! Say how much ? Tot. You white-livered son of a sea-cook ! Why, the very women ought to be let loose upon you, to scratch your eyes out ! You a man 1 McT, {abjectly). Oh! don't be angry, Mr. Tottle; and don't speak so \ loud! I wasn't in earnest ; I wasn't indeed! I only wanted to try you. Tot. To try me ! If you don't deserve six dozen at the gangway, without trial, may I never crack another biscuit ! You mean, paltry McT. Oh ! Mr. Tottle, somebody will hear you ! Tot. I wish every soul on the reef could hear me. Be oflF! you poor, selfish, sniveling hound ! Be off ! or I'll drive my bayonet through your dirty carcass ! McT. Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! What shall I do ? Tot. Be off', I say ! McT. I m going, Mr. Tottle! [Exit McTurk, 1 l. e. Tot. And that's the chap that used to talk blood and thunder at the saloon table till you'd shake in your shoes to hear him. I suppose delir- ium trimmings will be the end o' him. Lev. {singing without). A light heart and a good pair of top boots Will go through the world, my brave boys. Tot. Why, if it ain't that 'ere Downy. Well, he thrives on half-allow- ance, surely. Enter Eovibond, 1 b. b. Ito-^r, Ah, Tottle, my boy ! how d'ye do ? Tot. Hearty, thank you, sir ! how are yeu 1 Lov. That's your sort. I'm charming ; and the air of this watering- place makes me feel that it must be near breakfast time. Tot. Glad to see you've got your eatin' tackle aboard again, sir. Lov. Yes, Tottle, such delightful weather ; and such a nice open sit- uation as this is for enjoying the weather. Tot And how's that werry partic'lar friend o' yourn, sir ? Lov. Moleskin, eh 1 Oh, he's all right. Came ashore in his slippers — cut his feet all to pieces on the reef — can't walk a step, I'm happy to say. That's why he isn't with me, as usual ! I've got a capital pair of boots, you see. He wanted me to share 'em with him, but I declined — a pair of boots are like man and wife — they ought never to be divided. (Tottle goes up, l., laughing) And talking of man and wife, where'smine, I wonder % I told her I should pay her a visit this morning. Hoy, Clarinda ! Enter Mss. Lovibond, /rom tent, r. 44 THE OVEKLAND EOUTE. Mrs L. Here, Augustus, dear Lov. " Here, Augustus, dear ! " but you weren't here. I particularly told you to be waiting for me, and when I tell you a thing, I mean you to do it, my dear. Mrs. L. I'm very sorry, dear. I was all ready, but I'd some poor creatures to attend to in the tent. Lov. You had one poor creature to attend to out of the tent, and that is your Augustus ! Mrs. L. I'll be careful not to keep you waiting another time, dear. Lov. Oh, I'm not angry, Clarinda ; I'm too happy to be angry ! Only think, that poor devil, Moleskin, limped dreadfully yesterday. But he can't stir a peg to-day, without my boots ; and, of course, I know better than to lend him them. Mrs. L. Oh, I'm so glad to see he's taken off the handcufifs ! Lov. He couldn't help himself. 1 declared if he didn't take 'em off, I wouldn't fetch him his rations. In short, my dear, for to-day, at least, I'm master of the situation. Mrs. L. How delightful! We can have such a nice ramble about the reef together. I've so much to tell you — ten years arrears, you know, to make up. Lov. You won't be jealous 1 Mrs. L. No, dear ; I hope I've got over that folly. Lov. When I first made myself known to you, I craned at it tremend- ously. Mrs. L. Craned, dear. Lov. Yes, I was frightened, my love. But now I'm satisfied it was the best day's work I ever did in my life. You don't bully, and you ain't jealous. You always were a duck of a lady, if it hadn't been for your little peculiarities in that way — and now — by Jove, Clarinda, you're perfection ! Mrs. L. Oh, Augustus, how happy you make me by saying that! So long as you continue of that way of thinking, I never can be jealous ! Lov. And so long as you're not jealous, I shall continue of that way of thinking. Yes, Clarinda, I've made a very pretty little fortune in Singapore. And how we will enjoy it together ! I've sowed my wild oats ! Mrs. L. Augustus, love ! Lov. Mine have been a very mild crop, I can assure you. Mrs. L. And mine have never been sowed at all ! Lov. Then I value you all the more for it. If you've been faithful to the memory of your Augustus, what will you be to the amiable reality 1 I see before us a long vista of matrimonial felicity, dotted, at intervals, with little Lovibonds. But, oh, gracious I {suddenly crestfallen) I'm for- getting the felon, Downy, all this time — my infernal alias — who knows if the rest of my existence mayn't be dragged out in a penal settlement ? Mrs. L. Oh, surely you must be able to prove an alibi ? Lov. I don't "see my way to it. I've heard the strong points of the case against me put forward so continually for the last three days by the indefatigable Moleskin, that I begin to believe I'm safe to be con- victed by any intelligent jury of my countrymen. Mrs. L. Let's hope you won't have an intelligent jury, dear. Lov. I think that highly probable. Now, leave me to steel my mind for the worst ! So, kiss me quick and go, my honey. Mrs. L. I'll do anything you bid me, dear. Good-by till you see me again. _ [Exit, k. tent. Lov. Now, I call that a woman; and since she's so changed — she's an angel— better than an angel ! She hasn't any wings to fly away with ; ACT III. 45 and she has something to sit down upon ! But, no ; let me not indulge in idle levity. Let me call up mental pictures of myself as a convict, or as a bleeding victim under the bullet of Major McTurk. {goes tmuards the sea) Let me wander by the sad sea wave, and contemplate. There lies our noble vessel, all on one side, like an ill-roasted egg. What's that, I wonder, glittering on the sand'? Snuff-box, I hope; soap-dish, I fear; (^picJcs up Sir Solomon's set of teeth) teeth, by jingo ! Now, somebody must be uncommonly inconvenienced by the loss of them. I'll be mag- nanimous — I'll advertise 'em. No ; I won't do that, because we're very short of provisions. Yes, I will. Here, Tottle, a pen, ink, and paper. Tot. Aye; aye, sir ! {gets them, and puts them on box, l.) Lov. {tvritesy Lost — no ! Found, a set of artificial teeth. They may be had by the owner applying to Augustus Lovibond. Confound it, though! I'm known among the passengers in general as Downy. I suppose I must sign that hated name. There ! {fixes the paper on the spar, by tli^side of the gong) And now to chew the bitLer cud of fancy till breakfast time. [Exit, 1 e. r. Enter Colepepper, 1 e. l. Cole. So, that's off my mind. I've told Clavering the difficulty about my accounts — and he cries off! All the better. How shall I break it to poor Mary, though ? She used to fancy this Clavering a hero. I'm glad, too, that I've had the wisdom to break off with the pretty widow. What would she have thought if she had found herself married to some eight lacs of debt to Government 7 And the poor little thing hked me — that was clear. But those infernal vouchers ! No ! as a man it is my duty to give up all idea of the widow. Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 e. r. Miss C. Ah, papa, deai-, I met Captain Clavering as I came along, looking so blank and gloomy. He merely bowed to me as he passed. Cole. My darling are you brave enough to bear a great shock? Miss.C. Any shock you can give me, I'm sure. Cole. Captain Clavering has proposed for you. Miss C. Oh, papa ! Cole. As a man of honor, I felt it my duty to tell him the position of my unsettled accounts. Miss C. I know — those vouchers. Cole. I offered him an opportunity of renewing his offer. Miss C. {eagerhj). And he Cole. Nerve yourself, darling • Miss C. I am nerved, sir. Oh, speak ! He renewed it? Cole. No ; he declined. Miss C. Thank heaven ! {drawing a deep breath as if relieved.) Cole. What 1 you are not distressed to hear it 1 Miss C. Oh, you have taken such a load off my mind ! T dreaded that offer — [ feared you would favor Captain Clavering's suit. I once thought him all a man should be. You watched our intimacy while I lived in that delusion — I have learned better now. Cole. My dear girl ! you've taken a load off my heart ! With what a light heart I shall go to chop the wood to boil the soup ! [Exit, 1 e. l. Miss C. Free at last! Free to let my heart follow the path it has been struggling so hard to take, yet dare not ! He is here ! Enter Dextek, 1 E. E. 46 XHE OTEKLAND SOUXE." Dex. I've come to tell you it's nearly time for you to release Mrs. Se- bright. She has been managing her rebellious subject capitally. Don't be frightened at his ravings. For a delirious patient, or a kicking horse, there's nothing like a lady's hand. Miss C. Oh, I feel happy enough this morning to face a whole legion of lunatics ! Dex. Indeed ! you do look radiant ! Miss C. If you knew what good reasons I have. But are you not my best friend ? Ought you not to know my happiness 1 Dex. That's for you to answer — not me. Miss C. Yes; you shall know it. Captain Clavering has-withdrawn his pretensions to my hand. Dex. I'm glad to hear it — for your sake ! He's a gambler — and all gamblers are mean, selfish, and unprincipled. Miss C. His conduct proves you have measured him right. He with- drew because papa told him of the Government claims against him, on account of the vouchers he lost in the mutiny. Dex. The vouchers! Then Sir Solomon's story was not a calumny. I really beg his pardon. But about these vouchers 1 If recovered, they would set your father straight with the Government 1 Miss C. Yes. Dex. See, Miss Colepepper, what comes of people standing too much on their dignity ! When I called on your father in Calcutta, it was mainly that I might restore to him a box vf papers, which I had recov- ered from the mutineers, and which I believe to have contained the very vouchers — the want of which may ruin him. Miss C. Is it possible ? But where is that box. now 1 Dex. Under twenty fathoms of Red Sea water, and the stevedores only know how many tons of luggage. It went down aboard the Simoon. Miss C. Oh, hard chance. But we must face our fate without them. It will not be a harder one than 1 can bear. I am sure you have seen both papa and I. can encounter hardship, {crosses, r.) "But I'm forgetting poor Mrs. Serbright. Good-bye ! Think of me as a free and happy woman. [JSfeiV, 1 e. e. Dex. Tottle ! You remember a black box of mine 1 Tot. Yes, sir. I thought to myself — when I see you with that and a carpet-bag — well, that's the lightest lot of luggage ever came aboard a P. and 0. boat, homeward bound. Dex. Do you remember where it was stowed ? : Tot In the after-hold, sir. i Dex. What water's over that part of her, do you think ? Tot. About ten fathom, sir. Dex. All right. Look* me out a dry suit of clothes, and bring them down to the beach when I hail. If anybody asks for me, say I t-liall bo back soon. If perseverance and headers can do it, 1 5»«2/ bring up tliose vouchers yet. [Exit, l. u. e. Enter Mrs. Sebkight, r. Mrs. S. Tottle, where's the doctor 1 Tot. Gone, ma'am. He'll be back soon. Mks. S. I want to report my patient. Enter Lovibond in reflection, 1 E. R." Mr. Lovibond. {faces him and addresses him sharply) stand and deliver ! Lov. Good gracious, Mrs Sebright, I was ruminating. Mrs. S. V/hat a very vaccine occupation ! But I'm very angry with ACT III. 47 ydu. You never came to the hospital, as you promised. I've had so much on these poor unassisted httle hands. Lov. {kissing them). Let me add the weight of that to their burdens. Mrs. S. You mustn't. Lov. Oh, yes I may — my wife says I may — and when a man's wife says he may — he may. Mks. S. You wouldn't think, to look at them, that they had been hold- ing Aown a raving maniac ! Such a strong uian, too ! L(jv. I should think you likeher to make madmen, than to manage them! Mrs. S. Don't talk nonsense ! Only think, my patient mixed your name up in his ravings. It was all a jumble of Lovibond and Downy — and how he was Downy and you weren't, and you were — and how he'd done the detective and a black leather bag — and bills, and money hidden away on the reef— and wanting me to let him go to dig it up and hide it again. » Lov. {through this speech has betrayed the liveliest signs of emotioii). De- scribe your patient. Mrs. S. a plain man — about your size — in fact, a good deal like you altogether. Lov. With a large scar on his right temple 1 Mes. S. Yes; do you know him? Lov. [sits down and begins taking off his boots). Mrs. Sebright, I want you— I M'ant you to put on these boots. Mrs. S. No; I can't do that. Lov. No ; I don't mean that. May I trouble you to take these boots to Mr. Moleskin, with my compliments, and beg him to put them on, and to walk down to the hospital and listen to the ravings of your pa- tient, and act accordingly. Mks. S. What do you mean 1 Lov. Never gou mind my meaning. Only carry my message, (crosses c._, Mrs. S. Is he mad, too 1 Lov. No, he isn't; but he shortly will be if you don't do what he asks you. Mrs. S. Well, I'll go ; but Lov. But you want to be paid for your good news, I suppose? and there ! [seizes her in his arms, and commences hugging and kissing her.) Sinter Mks. Lovibond, /row te^zt, r. Mrs. L. Augustus ! Lov. I'm a child of impulse, Clarinda! You're «o< jealous. Mrs. S. No ! but she has the common feelings of a woman ! My dear Mrs. Lovibond, I sympathize with you. Lov. Now, don't stop to do that. Only carry my message. Insist on his putting on the boots, whether they fit him or not. Say it's to fur- ther the ends of justice, and he'll get into 'em if he grows a crop of corns for the rest of his life. I'll have another kiss if you don't go ! Mrs. S. Mad — raving mad ! another coup-de-soleil ! Lov. Nay, then ! (rushes at her again.) Mrs. S. Oh, Lord ! (screams and runs off, 1 e. r.) Mrs. L. [falling on a packing-case, and sobbing hysterically). Augustus ! if you're not insane, I am the most miserable of women. Lov. On the contrary ; [ am sane, and you're the happiest of your sex \ She's found the real Downy 1 Mrs. L. Is it possible % 48 THE OYEllLAND EOUTE. Lov. He must have shipped in the steerage under one of his many ahases, Mes. L. But how has he betrayed himself 1 Lov. He's gone beside himself; and the insane half of him has split upon the other. Well, now I am free and easy ! Mrs. L. That you certainly were, just now, with Mrs. Sebright — you were kissing her. Lov. Was I ? Well, I'll kiss you and balance the books. Mrs. L. Let us run and tell this good news to Mr. Dexter. Lov. By all means, [suddenly feels the sharp coral under his fee€) 0, I forgot I'd sent Moleskin my boots — 1 can't stir. This is the most nub- bly spot in the island. Mrs. L. Mr. Dexter must be the first to congratulate us. Now, don't you move. [Exit 1 e. l. Lov. It's all very well to say don't move, I can't. This is the most nubbly spot on the island! This blessed news has confused my naturally lucid intellect. Let me reflect! If it wasn't for that fire-eating McTuik, my horizon would be all serene ! Ha ! somebody coming ! McTurk ! Oh! heavens! Let me conceal myself. He's capable of calling me out on the spot, {hides himself in tent, k.) Enter McTurk, 1 e. i. McT. It's no use — ^in spite of that brutal Tottle, I can't resist the temp- tation of the liquor — I must have some — beg, borrow, or steal. Dex. {without). Tottle, ahoy ! Tot. Muster Dexter a-hailing. Here's his dry togs ! Aye, aye, sir. [Exit, L. u. E. , McT. Sentinel off his post ! Now's my time ! {steals up to store tent — rushes in — seizes a couple of bottles from store, l., and is retreating 1 e. r , when LoviBOND, who has been watching him, jumps up and seizes him by the collar. ) Lov. No,' you don't, though you were ten times McTurk! McT. Oh, mercy ! mercy ! Lov. Drop those bottles, sir ! I saw you take them. McT. {passionately). I couldn't resist it — I feel so weak — I've such a cra,ving for it ! Oh, sir, let me go, and don't tell 'em, 'sir, don't; I shall be disgraced — cashiered. I'm a gentleman, sir — an oflicer. Lov. Is this the fire-eater I was afraid of? Listen ! I'm Mr. Lovi- bond, the gentleman you had the impudence to challenge. • McT Oh, 1 beg your pardon, sir I Only let me go, and" I'll make any apology ! Lov. There ! I forgive you ! Put back that beer. For shame of j^ou ! to try to rob a poor man of his beer ! (McTurk maJces an agonized gesture of entreaty, but quails under Lovibond's eye, and sneaks up to the tent, re- placing the bottles, and exit, 1 e. l.) Poor, abject wretch ! He deserves pity more than punishment. Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 e. h. Miss C. Mr. Lovibond, what is the meaning of the strange scene that has just passed in the hospital 1 Mrs. Sebright came in with your friend. Lov. I know — Moleskin ! Then the boots did fit him ? Miss C. They seized that poor lunatic— searched him — took him out of his bed to a neighboring spot— to which in the btrength of his frenzy, he led the way faster than they could follow. I followed. They dug up something from the sand, and brought him back exhausted— but calmer. ACT III. 49 Lov. {danGing). Huzza ! huzza ! huzza ! Downy's done, at last ! Enter Dextee, l. tr. e., with a small hlack box. Dex. Miss Colepepper, {puts box in her hand) your fathei-'s vouchers. Miss C. Mr. Dexter, you have risked your hfe for them ! Dex. {coolly). Oh, dear! no. Only wetted a suit of clothes. I dive like an otter. Take them to your father. Miss C. Yes ; but in your name : {crosses l.) How often are you to he our pi-eserver 1 [Exit, 1 e. c. Dex. It's time to serve out the rations, {goes up to tent l., and strikes gong) Tottle! Ikter Mks. Lovibond, 1 e. l. Mes. L. I can't find that dear doctor. Enter Colepepper, and Miss Colepepper, l., crosses to Dextek. Lov. {down on heru. side). Because you would go to look for him. It'a all right, doctor ! The real Downy's discovered ! it's your mad patient ! Cole. God bless you, sir ! Mary has told me all. You have saved our good name ! Dex. Who was the fool who said " Chance ruled the world 1" Enter Smart, Haedistt, Mrs. Rabbits, Limpet, Ghimwood, Ayahs — ■ Passengers, male and female, Children, Lascars, Sailors, etc. Dex. Now, then, ladies first. Come forward in the order of your messes. (Sir Solomon gives a strange cry without) Hollo ! Sib Solomon rushes in 1 e. r., wild and excited — his basket lid tumbling over his eyes — the handkerchief which bound his Jaws ivaviiig in his hand — he gesticulates with vain efforts to speak articulately. Dex. Another coup-de-soleil! Get him down — put a quantity of ice on his head ! Sir S. {speaking with difficulty). Not — sun stroke — steamer Dex. What does he say 1 Can anybody make it out 1 [down L. of Colepepper Lov. {rushing forward). Oh, I know the physic he wants ! Open your mouth. ( produces the artificial teeth.) Sib Solomon snatches teeth and goes up and turns his back to audience and places them in his mouth and begins to speak volubly. Limp, Master's minerals at last, I do declare ! Well, I'm glad he's got his teeth again, for they're not only white but they never ache ! Sir S. As 1 have recently been unable to enjoy the pleasure of social intercourse, owing to the inconvenient ch-cumstance Dex. Hang it, Sir Solomon, cut it short ! You can't be allowed to pay out all your arrears at once. Sir S. Well, then, to cut it short, there is a steamer making for the reef. All. Hurrah ! hurrah ! hurrah ! [display the wildest signs, of joy. All turn to face the sea — Lovibond up a little — Dexter seizes a glass and looks 02<<— Smart and Hardisty do the same — the crowd give way for them.) J_ 50 THE OVERLAND KOtTXE. Enter Mrs. Sebright and MoiiESKiN, e., crosses to Lovibond, l. Mrs. S. What's that I hear? a steamer ? {ffoes up to crowd, c.) Mole, {to Lovibond) I've got him ! It's Downy, sm-e enough, Lov. Of course it is ! Now I'll trouble you for those boots. Mole. They're so damp I can't get 'em off. [Exit Moleskin, 1 e. l. Lov. He's gone off with my boots ! Mrs. L. I'll follow him and make him give them up. (Exit, 1 e. l., re- turns immediately with one hoot) I've only got one, dear. Drx. Do you make her out, captain"? Smart. The man-of-war steamer " Blazer." Mrs. S. Jack's vessel ! {jumps with joy, then half faints.) Sib Solomon and Colepepper rush up and support her — the passengers and others are watching the steamer — Dexter and MisS Colepbppeb eon- verse apart. Cole. Give her air, sir, can't you ? Sir S. Give her air yourself ! I insist on my right of supporting this lady. Cole. On the contrary, sir, I claim that as my exclusive privilege. Sir S. By what title, sir "? Cole. As her intended husband. Sir S. That, sir, is the foundation of my claim. Cole Pooh, sir ! Sir S. Pooh to you, sir ! Cole. She revives— ask her*? Sir S. My pretty Jane Cole. My dearest Jane Mrs. S. (extricating herself ). Gentlemen, you mastn't— Sin S. You accepted my diamonds— accept me ! Cole. Diamonds ! (contemptuously) My shawl and my hand with it! Mrs. S. Oh, Mr. Dexter! (I)bx.ter doivn c.) I thought it was all right, and here it is as bad as ever again ! Will you explain ? Dex. Not I — do your own explanations. Mrs. S. Then, gentlemen, I'm sorry I can't have either of you I Sir S. ) You can't 1 Cole. ]Whj1 Mrs. S. I've neither hand nor heart to give. I gave both, long ago, to Jack. Sir S. Jack t Cole. Who's Jack 1 Miss. C. Mr. Dexter has explained all to me — this lady is married already ! ^'^ ^- I Married ! Cole. 5 Sir S. But my diamond necklace, madam ? Cole. Keep my shawl as a wedding gift. Mrs. S. Thanks, Mr. Colepepper ! Sir Solomon, I'm sorry I haven't got your diamonds ! Sir S. You haven't ! Who has? Dex. I have! Sir S. a lightbegins to dawn on me. (to Colepepper) Of course, this is Jack? {pointing ^o Dexter.) Cole. Of course, it is ! How blind I've been ! Dex. No, Mr. Colepepper, my affections are better bestowed than on Jenny Sebright — good little soul as she is — for all her feather head I ACT Til. 51 Cole. What ! you are not Jack ? And you don't love Mrs. Sebright 1 and you do love somebody elsel Why, then, it can only be — [looks at Mart.) Dex. It is, sir ! Cole. Take her, my boy ; you've won her fairly ! _ Dex. And with Heaven's help, as fairly will I wear her. (embrace.) 'Sir S. But my diamonds, sir 7 Dex. {aside). Which you accepted from the Nawaub of Ramshackle- gur. Sir S. How do i/ou know ? I mean, how dare you insinuate 1 Dex. I don't insinuate; I assert! Sir S. Only hold your tongue! I make a present of them to your wife! Dex. Mj" wife wears no diamonds less pure than her own bright eyes. I keep the necklace to return it to its lawful owner. I owe the poor Nawaub some compensation for the physic I gave him. Cole. ^But, after all, we've never heard who Jack is ! I Smart. A boat from- the steamer ! {shout.) Enter Captain Sebright, Sailors, etc. Mrs. S. Jack ! {she rushes into Jack Sebright' s arms.) All. Hurrah ! hurrah ! hurrah ! TABLEAU. PROPERTIES. Three dusters, for Stewards ; cups and saucers for tea ; glasses and soda water ; telescope ; list of dinner places ; note-book ; card for Dbxteb ; pith cap and um- brella : stick and umbrella ; novel ; shawl ; footstool ; cushion ; bird-cage ; shawl ; brandy bottle ; worn letter, for Mks. Lovibond ; diamond necklace and case ; towel, for Lovibond ; box of pills ; vial of medicine ; sticking plaster ; several boxes and trunks of luggage ; hat-case ; portmanteau ; legal papers ; cigar ; hand- cuffs ; card ; lamps for companionway ; trumpet ; boatswain's whistle ; barrels ; cases ; bottles ; meat cans ; flag ; musket ; cutlass ; market basket ; hamper ; set ot teeth ; several bottles ; small black box ; small looking-glass. STAGE DIRECTIONS. E. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R, C. Right of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across theback of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in the Flat; L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door ; 1 B First Entrance ; 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First Second or Third Groove. R. R. C. C. R. C. L. B®" The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. De Witt's Acting Plays— Continued. Na 49. The Midnight 'Watch. Drama. 1 Act. By John M. Morton. 8 Male, 2 Female Char- acters. 50. Xhe Porter's Knot. Serio-Comic Drama. 2 Acts. By John Oxenford. 8 Male, 2 Female Characters. 61. A Model for a Wife. Farce. 1 Act. By Alfred Wigau. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. Bt. A Cnp of Tea. Comedietta. 1 Act. By Charles Nuitter and J. Derley. 3 Male, 1 Fe- male Cliaracters. 53. Oertrude*s Money-Dox. Farce. 1 Act. liy Harry Lemon. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 54. The Young Collegian^ Farce. 1 Act. By T. W. Kobertaoii. 3 Male, 2 Female Char- acters.-. 6B. Cathdvine Hotvard; or, The ThrOne, the Tomh and the Scaffold. Historic Flay. 3 Acts. By \y. D. Suter. 12 Male, 5 Female Characters. 56. T«-o «ay Deceivers; or, Black, White an d Gray. Farce. 1 Act. By T. W. Robert- son. 3 Male Characters. 67. iVoeinie. Drama. 2 Acts. By T. W. Rolwrt- son. 4 i\Iale, 4 Female Characters. 68. Oeborah fLeah) ; or, The Jewisli Maiden's Wrons. Drama. 3 Acts. By Chas. Smith Cheltnam. 1 Male, U Female Characters. 69. The Post-Boy. Drama. 2 Acts. By H. T. Craven. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 60. The Hidden Hand; or, The Gray Lady of Forth Vennon. Drama. 4 Acts. By Tom Taylor. 5 Male, S Female Characteis. 61. Plot and Passion. Drama. 3 Acts. By Tom Taylor. 7 JIale, 2 Female Characters. 62. A Photographic Fix. Farce. 1 Act. By Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- ters. 63. Marriage at any Price. Farce. 1 Act. By J. P. Wooler. 5 Male, 3 Female Charac- ters. 64. A Household Fairy. A Domeslic Sketch. 1 Act. By Francis Talfourd. 1 Male, 1 Fe- male Characters. 65. Checkmate. Comedy Farce. 2 Acts. By Andrew Halliday. 6 Male, 5 Female Charac- ters. 66. The Orange Cirl. Drama, in a Prologue and 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 18 Male, 4 Fe- male Characters. 67. The Oirth-place of Podgers. Farce. 1 Act. ijy John Hollingshead. 7 Male, 3 Fe- male Characters. 68. The Chevalier de St. George. Di'ama. S Acts. ByT. W. Robertson. 9 Male, 3 Fe- male Char arte—. 69. Caught bj t.. Adrienne. Drama. 3 Ads. By Henry Leslie. 7 Male, 3 Female Cliaracters. 78. Chops of the Channel. Nautical Farce. lAct. By Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 77. The K oil of the Drum. Drama. S Acts. By Thomas EKerton Wiiks. 8 Male, 4 Female Characters. 78. Special Performances. Paice. 1 Act. By Wilmot Harrison. 7 Male, 3 Feaiale Char- acters, 7«. A Sheep in ^Voirs Clothing. Domestic Drama. 1 Ac*. By Tom Taylor. 7MaJe,5 Female Characters. No. SO. A Charming Pair. Farce. 1 Act. By Thomas J. WilliaKas. 4 Male, 3 Female Char- acters. 61. ITandyUe Brown. Farce. 1 Act, By A. C. Troughton. 3 Male, 3 Female Chai-acters. 82. Peep o' Day ; or, Savourneen Dheelish. (New Drury Lane Version. ) Irish Drama. 4 Acts. By Edmund Falconer. 12 Male, 4 Fe- male Characters. 83. Thrice Married. Personation Piece. 1 Act. By Howard Paul. s Male, 1 Female Characters. 84. Wot Ouilty. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts Phillips. ID Male, 6 Female Characters. 85. Locked in with a Lady. Sketch from Life. By H. R. Addison. 1 Male, I Female Characters, 86. The Lady of Lyons; or. Love and Pride. (The Fecliter Version.) Play. 5 Acts. By Lord Lytton, 10 Male, 3 Female Characters. 87. Locked Out. Comic Scene. 1 Act. By Howaril Pavl. 1 Male, 1 Female CliJ^racters. 88. Founded on Facts. Farce. 1 Act. By J.P. Wooler. 4 Male, 2 Female Character*. 89. Aunt Charlotte's Maid. Fa>-»e. 1 Act, By J, M, Morton. 3 Male, 3 Female Charao- tei- 90. 91. Walpole; or. Every Man has hia Price. Comedy in Rhyme. 3 Acts. By Lord Lyttojl. 7 Male. 2 PeniMle Characters. 92. My 1V5Se's Out. Farce. 1 Act. By G. Herbert Kodwfll. 2 Male, 3 Female Characters. 93. The Area Belle. Farce. 1 Act. By William Brongli and Andrew Halliday. 3 Male, 2 Fe- niate Characters. 94. Our Clerks ; or. No. 3 Fig Tree Court Tem pie. Farce. 1 Act. 7 Male, 5 Female Cliar- acters. 95. The Pretty Horse Breaker. Farce. 1 Act. By William Brough and Andrew Halli- day. 3 Male, 10 I'emale Characters. 96. Dearest Mamma. Comedietta. 1 Act. By Walter Gordon. 4 Male, 3 Female Charac- ters. 97. Orange Blossoms. Comedietta. 1 Act. By J. f . Wooler. 3 Male, 3 Female Characters. 98. '*Vho is "%/Vhot or, All in a Fog. Farce. lAct. By Thomas J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 P'- male Characters, 99. The Fifth Wlieel. Comedy. 3 Acta. 10 Male, 2 Female Characters, 100. Jack Long ; or. The Shot in the Eye. Drama. 2 Acts. By J. B. Johnstone. 5 Male, 1 Femalo Characters. 101. Fernande. Drama. 3 Acts. By Viotorieo Sardou. 11 Male, 10 Female Characters. 102 Foiled. Drama. 4 Acta. By 0. W. Cornish ■ . 8 Male, 3 Female Characters 103. Faust ond Marguei-Itte, Drama. 3 Acts. By T. W. Robertson. 9 Male, 7 Female Which of the Two. Comedietta. 1 Act By John M Morton, '.i .Male. 10 Female Charaoterg Up for tlie ("Bttl'- Show. Faroe. 1 Act By Barry Lemon. 6 Male. 2 Female Characters Cupboard JjOVe. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- erick Hay 'J. lu.i.u. 1 Fcmilo Characters Mr. t'orogt III". Farce. 1 Act. By William Hancock. 3 M ale . ,'> Fe nalc Characters By J. P. Poppleton'o Predlcarnei'ts. Faroe. 1 Act. By Ch-rles M . itae. 3 Male, 6 Female Char- The Uar. Comedy. 2 Acts. By Sam'lFoote. Altered and adapted by Charles Matthews. 7 Male and 2 Female Characters. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS De Witt's Acting Pla No 112. Not a Bit Jealous. A Farce, in 1 Act. By T. W. Robertson. 3 Male, 3 Female characters 113. Cyril's Suecess. Comedy, in 5 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 9 Male, 5 Female characters. 114. Anything lor a Change. Petitt Comedy, in 1 Act. By Shirley Broolss. 3 Male, 3 Fe^ male characters. . New Men and Old Acres. C'-medyjin 3 Acts. By Tom Taylor. S Male, 5 Female char- acters. , I'm not Meslli at all. An Original Irish Stew. By C. A. Makby. S Male, 2 Female characters , Not Such a Fool as he Looks. Farcical Drama, in 3 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 Female characters. , Wanted, a Touiig Lady. Farce, in 1 Act. By yv . E. Sutir. 3 Male characters. .A Life Chase. Drama, in 5 Acts. By John Oxenford. 14 Male, 5 Female characters . A Tempest in a '1 ea Pot. Petite Comedy, in 1 Act. By Thomas Picton. 2 Male, 1 Fe- male cliaraclers , A Comical Counte-s. Farce, in 1 Act. By William Brough . 3 Male, I Female characters . Isabella Orslnl. RomanticDrama,in4Acts- By S. 1-1. Moseuthal. 1 1 Male,4 Female charac- ters . The Two Poets. Farce. By Jolia Court- nay. 4 Male, 4 Female characters . The Volunteer Review. A Farce. By Thomas J. Williaiyr, Esq. 6 Male, b Female characters 126. Weerfooi. Farce, in i Act. By F. C. Bur- naud, Esq. r. Male, 1 Female characters 126. Twice Killed. Farce. By John Oxenford.— 6 Male, 3 Female characters 127. Peggy Green. Farce. By Charles Selby. — 3 Male, 10 Female characters 128. The Female Detective. Original Dramai in 3 Acts. By C. H. Hazlewood, 11 Male.4 Female charaters . In lor o Holiday. Farce.inl Act. ByF. C. Burnand, E^q. 2 Mal^, 3 Female characters . My Wiie's Diary, Farce, in 1 Act. By T. W. Robertson, 3 Male, 1 Female characters . Go to Putney. Original Farce, in 1 Act. By Harry Lemon. 3 Male, 4 Female characters . A Itaee for a Dinner. Farce. By J. T. G. Rodwell. 10 Male characters . Timothy to the Rescfle. Original Farce, in 1 Act. By Henry J. Byron, Esq, 4 Male, 2 Female characters . Tompkins the Troubadour. Farce, in 1 Act. By Messrs. Lockroy and- Marc Michel. — 3 Male, 2 Female characters i. Everybody's Friend. Original Comedy,in 3 Acts. By J.Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male, 6 Female characters '• The Woman In Red. Drama, in 3 Acts and a Prologue. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male ? jmale characters 137. f Article 47 ; or. Breaking the Ban. Drama, in 3 Acts. By AdolpheBeJot. 11 Male, 5 Fe- male characters 13S. Poll and Partner Joe ; or the Pride of Put- ney, and the Pressing Pirate. New and 'p-i- nal Nautical Burlesque. By F. C. Bumand. — 7 Male, ^ Female characters 139. Joy is l>angeron8. Comedy, in 2 Acta. By James Mortimer. 3 Male, 3 Feiii.i.c- characters 140. Never Reckon yo-ir Chickens. Farce, ' n 1 Act. By Wybert Reeve. 3 Male, 4 Femaie characters De Witt's EtUoBiaii anil Comic Drama. No. Price 15 Cents Each. 1. The Last of the Mohicans. Ethiopian Sketch. By J. C. Stewart. ' 3 Male, 1 Feu.ale 2. TrleliS. Ethioriau Sketch. Bv J. C.Stewart 6 M,iie,2Fenialecli.rnct.-rs. 3. Hemmed In. Ethiopian Sketch. 3 Male, 1 Female clian.ci^rs. 4. Eh? What is it? Ethiopian Sketch. By J. C.Stewa.t. 4 Male,! Female cliaracler.'^. 5. The Two Black Roses. Ethiopian Sketch Bv J.C. .-Stewart. 4i\lai.',l Femnle rl.:irnrters. 6. The Black Chap from Whitechnpel. An eccen»ric Negro piece. By 11. L. Williams Jr. 4 Male characters. De Witt's Elocntioiiary Series. Price 15 Cents Each. 1, The Aeademie Speaker. Contfliningflnun usual variety o 1 ttriknij: diamalic diftl..<;t,es and other most effective pieyes with remarks on Elo- 2, The Ilramatic Speaker. Composed of many very carefully <'liuseii JMonqlo^ui;*, Dialo- eues and other efl'ectiva scenes from the most famous Travel] ie?, Coniedit-s and Faroes. 3, The Histrionic Speiikor. tlein- acarpl'ul compilation otthe most amusing Drai'intic scenes — lighl, gray, pointed, wifty and sp;^iklinij. 4, The Thespian Speaker; heing the beat scenesfrom the best Plays teaching the young Forensic Student how to speak and aet in the most approved niannej • Works on Oratory, RecitatioD, anl Gliairfflaii's Duties. Price SO Cts. Each, Bound In Board. " 75 " Bound in Cloth. BE WITT'S PERFECT ORATOR.— Comprisinjr a greatiiujril>er oi'Ri-aiiiiij;<,l-.cc iln- tions, Dialogues and i laianpiu s ficm the most celebrated Tracerli.s.Pii.ins mid Sivt, lies.. WEBSTER'S RECITER; .or, FJoJu'ion Murte Easy . Plainly sliowiiiK the pripernttitiidca ofthe figure, the various c-xpre6si(.ns oflliclacc, andthe different inflectiousand modulations oi the voice. WEBSTER'S CIIAIRJIAN'S MAIVUAI. and Speakers' Guide ; sl)i>wii)p plainly and clearly how to preside over all kirn's, I'ublic, Private and Lodge meetings, duties of Officers, &c. FOOT-riGJIT FLASJIES. nvW\Davidge, Comedian. Price $1.5(', bound in Cloth, limo.