335 NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. / 1 T .kX Daher'3 Edition m or Pl7\y3 ^ THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA Price, 25 Cents ^Q(^ COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. B. UJ. Pinero*$ Plays T14I7 AMA7nN^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five fe- llll!i AluAtiviiiiJ males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not difficulto Plays a full evening. THE CABINET MINISTER 2',2, 'llinrTamtfel; ?„T tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening- nANFlY niPK^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- UAriiJl l/lvIV males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- riors. Plays two hours and a half. Tlir r" AV I ADn AITI7Y Comedy in Four Acts. Fourmales, inCi uAl LUIvU ViUDA ten females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. mC UAT7QI7 IM HDnCR Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, fe? nUUo£. ill URUEIV four females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. "TUC IJni2DV Ur^DQI? Comedy in Three Acta. Ten males, liTlEi nUDDI nV^fViJi:. nve females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. infO Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, llvlij modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. I AnV RniTlSITlFIII Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven Lii\.Ul DUUliHIULi females. Costumes, modern; scen- ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. I PTTY Drama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five LLl 1 I females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. Plays a full evening. TUr M A r'ICTD AT17 Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, inJCi ITIAUIO 1 i\/\ 1 El four femnles. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. Sent prepaid on receipt of price by Salter ?|- pafeer Sc Companp No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts The Bewildering Miss Felicia A Comedy of Rejuvenation In Three Acts By GRANVILLE FORBES STURGIS For Female Characters Only ( Written expressly for and presented by The Drama Club of the Denver Grade Teachers' Association at Woman' s Club, Denver, Colorado, November 2j, igi2, under the personal di-^ reciion of their Coach, the Author, ) NOTE This play may be performed by amateurs free of royalty and without express permission. The professional stage-rights are, however, strictly reserved, and performance by professional actors, given in advertised places of amusement and for profit, is forbidden. Persons who may wish to produce this play publicly and professionally should apply to the author in care of the publishers. BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER & CO. The Bewildering Miss Felicia CHARACTERS {^As originally produced) Felicia Freeman, the newcojner . . . Miss Adeline Paisley, cm old maid . . Mrs. Captain Hippolytus Biddle . . Mrs. Frederick Addison, divorced . . Mrs. Robert Douglas, ho?ieymooning alone Mrs. Marcia Murray, a widow . . . Norma Murray, her daughter .... Miss Mehitable Oggsby, a landlady . . Hannah Jane, a drudge for Miss Oggsby . Miss Lucretia Long, inclined to be frivolous Mrs. John Jose, who sells butter and eggs Sally Johnson, a laimdress Freedom, colored, but free Mamselle, 7naid to Felicia Ethel Thorjiburg. . Sarah Keiner. Winona Andrezv. . Ella Hummer. Jessie Lee. . Anna Inches. . . lima Filger. . Lillian Blakley. Bertha Taub. Barbara McBreen. . Abigail Kendall Alice Lucy Moore. Miriam Hildebrand. . . Essie Edwards. SYNOPSIS Act I. — The vacant house. Exterior. — Late afternoon. Act n. — Miss Felicia's. Interior. — One year later. Act in. — Miss Fehcia says "Good-bye." Exterior.- weeks later, afternoon. Time. — 1830. Place.— Lilac Village. Time of Acting. — Two hours and a quarter. -Six TMP96-a07344 Copyright, 1913, by Granville F. Sturgis Free for amateur performance. Professional stage-right res£rved rr=i\ ©Cl,D o ^2328 >U3/ The Bewildering Miss Felicia ACT I The Vacant House. Late Afternoon, 1830 SCENE. — A village street. Wood or garden set, l., across rear, a white Colonial mansion with porch, and before it a white picket fence. The gate is off its hinges, and the garden within neglected and run to weeds, with a few flowers still struggling for existence. On the porch is an old wooden chair, r. c. is a trelUsed summer-house covered with wis- taria in bloom, a?id a few climbing roses. Within is a practical well, the bucket being on a rope which passes over a wheel in the roof of the su?mner-house. A gourd or tin dipper hangs on a nail beside the summer-house. A white bench is in front of the summer-house, and L., across stage, is another bench. All lights are on. (Hannah Jane, a child of fourteen or fifteen, in full apron, hair in tight braids, is discovered at ivell, R., ^j- curtain rises, drawing up a bucket of water. ^ Miss Mehitable Oggsby {calling off r.). Hannah ! Han- nah ! Hannah Jane ! Han. Oh, law ! Can't yer leave a body alone long enough to git a drink of water ? {Spills the water all over her dress as she tries to drink from the bucket.^ Miss O. Hannah ! Hannah Jane ! Han. {calling). Yes'm. What is it ? Miss O. You come right here to once ! Han. {callifig). What's wanted ? Miss O. Never mind what I want ; you come here. Do you hear me ? 4 THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA Han. Uallifjg). Yes'm. (^Comes out slowly.') If life ain't just one screech after the other ! Miss O. Hannah ! Do you hear me ? Han. {calling). Yes'm. (^Meditatively.) I wonder where she gits wind enough to keep up that steady yelling ? If 1 had her lungs Miss O. {inore exasperatedly). Hannah ! Are you coming? Han. {stopping for a Jitial gulp of water). Yes'm! {Shuffles slowly off r.) Enter Mrs. Marcia Murray and Norma Murray, l. They are dressed for calling. Mrs. M. {in astonishneni). Why, Norma, the very idea ! Norma {protestingly). I know, mamma, but some one ought to call on her. She's a stranger, and Mrs. M. What do we know of Mrs. Addison ? Norma. Only that she's Mrs. M. {quickly and decisively). That's just it. Norma. Norma. But, mamma, I don't see why the world should turn against a woman and call her an outcast just because her husband was bad and she got a Mrs. M. {stoppitig her quickly). Sh ! Such matters are not discussed in polite circles, my dear, — least of all by young ladies. When I was a girl Norma {crossing r., tossing her head). I know, girls were perfect then, mamma. Mrs. M. Girls were more respectful and thought as their mothers did. But now ! {^Throws up her hands in horror.) Norma (r., with toss of head). Women are more inde- pendent ! It's the spirit of the age. Mrs. M. {with a sigh). Thank goodness, Norma, I've brought you up carefully, and not hke so many of the young women I see about us on every side ! Why, if I had a daugh- ter like some I've seen in New York and Boston, I really believe I'd have to be placed in a madhouse ! {Crosses R. to bench.) Let us stop and have a drink of the old spring. It always revives me when I am weary. Norma {crossing to spring). Did you like the tea we had this afternoon ? Mrs. M. {sitting r. on beticli). It was rather strong. Norma {drawing water). I thought it decidedly bitter. I always imagine I taste copper in green tea. THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA 5 Mrs. M. That must be your imagination, Norma. I don't believe you really can. Norma. They say they dry the leaves on copper trays to get that green color. (Passes Mrs. M. gourd of water,) Mrs. M. {taking gourd). Very likely, my dear, but you know you never can taste any copper in the cucumbers we preserve, and I always boil a couple of copper pennies in the vinegar to make them nice and green. IT {DrifikSy and passes gourd back to Norma, who takes a drink herself, and then hangs the gourd on its nail.') Mrs. Biddle (cotning from house, closing the door stealthily behind her and trying it to be sure it is closed). There, now. Hip, you're safe for another spell, until it's time for you to come home from a voyage and make your wife another little visit. {Comes down steps, arid suddenly sees ladies at spring drinking.) Lud ! I didn't reckon as there would be any one at the spring this early! (Crosses c. and addresses ladies.) Has the stage come? (Curtsies.) Mrs. M. (tur7iing). I don't think so, Mrs. Biddle. (Rises and retur?is curtsy, in which Norma also joints.) Mrs. B. (confused, but explairiing in case she had been seen coming from house). I was just lookin' in at the old house. It ain't changed one bit — on the inside. Looks sort of dingy outside, though, don't it? Mrs. M. I should think Miss Oggsby'd have the garden weeded. (Crosses up stage, c, and looks over fence.) Mrs. B. So'd I. Nothin' gives a place such a run-down- at-the-heel look as a garden all growed up to weeds. Norma (seated at spring, working a cross-stitch safnpler). I can't recollect when Major Freeman's garden ever looked any different than it does now. Mrs. M. You are too young to ever have seen it different. Norma ; but there was a time when that garden was the prettiest spot in the whole of Lilac Village. Mrs. B. Wasn't it, though ! My, what pride Major Nehe- miah Freeman took in his garden ! (To Mrs. M.) Don't you remember how he used to set in that there chair on the porch and direct the niggers working in the garden? My, what posies he had ! Did you ever see sich hollyhocks, Mrs. Murray ? I never did ! b THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA Mrs. M. And he was so generous in giving the neighbors flowers ! (Crosses L.) Why, whenever 1 passed the gate on liie way to school, he'd hand me over ail 1 could well carry ! {Slfs L. on beiich.') E flier r. Miss O., a typical lajidlady with corkscrew curls , carrying a home-tnade sign, ** For Rent. See M. Oggsby^^^ and a hammer. Han. follows^ dragging a rather good chair. Miss O. (Jo Han.). I told you not to bring that chair, Hannah Jane ! Han. {a poor house child used to being struck afid hence always placing her hand quickly across her face to escape a blow whe?i spoken to suddenly). Yes'm. Miss O. Then vvhat'd you bring it for? Han. I dunno. Miss O. Do you ever know anything ? Han. No'm. (Quickly.) Yes'm. Miss O. No, you don't, nuther. I often wonder what in thunder ever possessed me to take you off of the poor farm ! There was a hull lot more I could have picked from, and a heap sight brighter, too, for all I know ! {Turns up toward house.) Mrs. B. {at gate, with curtsy). Good-evening, Miss Oggsby. Miss O. {with a grudged curtsy). Good-evenin', Mis' Biddle. Mrs. B. {to Han., who crosses up l. c). Evenin', Han- nah Jane. Han. (glumly). Good-evenin', ma'am. {Stands l. c. , swinging chair on one leg aimlessly. ) Mrs. B. Nice evenin', ain't it? Miss O. Fair to middling. Mrs. B. I was jest looking at the old garden. Miss O. {with a sniff). So I see ! Mrs. B. Sort o' run up to weeds, ain't it? Miss O, {shortly). 'Pears that way. Mrs. B. Me and Mrs. Murray was just remarkin' as how it wasn't kep' up like it was when Major Freeman was ahve. Miss O. {with her bob of a curtsy). Good-evenin', Mrs. THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA 7 Murray, — didn't see you afore. (Mrs. M. bows slightly with- out rising. 2\trns to jNIrs. B., who is still at gate C.) No, it aiu't kep' up, aa' I'd like to know why it should be kep' up? No one's ever been here what hed a right to the place since the Major died, and that's been Land sakes, how time flies I It's been twenty years almost to the day ! Mrs. M. In his will he left you something to look after the place, didn't he. Miss Oggsby ? Miss O. {curtly'). Yes, he did ! — but not to keep up no garden. I have my hands full keeping the house cleaned an' dusted, an' a useless task it's been, too! {To Mrs. B.) Do you allow Nathan Freeman' 11 ever come back to claim it, — after all these years? I don't. Mrs. B. Never can tell. {Crosses down R.) Stranger things 's that have happened. {Sits r. at sprijig.) Miss O. Yes'm, sich things have happened, — but not in Lilac. I've got plumb sick an' tired of seein' the place stand- ing idle an' doin' nobody no good. Why, there's clean linen sheets on all the beds, — and if you could see the linen and china an' pewter, an' silver Mrs. B. I was noticing it and thinking it a awful pity for such good things to be going to rack and ruin. Mrs. M. Downright sinful, I call it ! Miss O. Well, what's one going to do about it? {Cuffs Han., and takes away the chair. Han. retires and swings on gate.) Mrs. M. If one could find the heir Miss O. {placing chair c). It ain't no use. {Sits.) The lawyers have tried. Mrs. B. You don't say ! Miss O. Yes, I do say. And what's more, I've hit on a plan. Mrs. B. Do tell ! Miss O. If there is an heir this side the grave, — and it don't seem at all likely, — she Mrs. M. Or he Miss O. Or he, wouldn't like to have such a place fall to pieces from sheer rot, would they, now ? Mrs. B. I shouldn't. Miss O. That's the way I've figured it, and so last night as I lay awake thinking about it, — as I've done for twenty years now, — more or less, — at least every time that I've set up with b THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA a neighbor when there was sickness, — or a death Well, as I was sayin*, last night I decided I'd rent the old house. Mrs. M. {in astonishmenf). Rent it? Mrs. B. (equally surprised^. For the land's sake ! Miss O. It might just as well be bringing in something toward its keep. It'd at least pay the taxes and assessments on it. (Rises and goes up steps f) Mrs. M. {to herself). A tenant in the old house ! A ten- ant in Major Freeman's mansion ! Mrs. B. {to Miss O.). But who is there in Lilac what could afford to rent the Major Freeman Place? Norma {who has been interested ^ rising). And they say it's haunted ! Mrs. B. {with a start). Eh? Haunted? Norma. Why, yes, haven't you heard? {^Crosses c.) Mrs. B. {uncomfortable). No, — who says? — What have you heard, Norma? Norma. Why, it's general gossip in the village. Some say that every evening, just at dusk, when the stage comes in, the ghost of Major Freeman can be seen sitting in that old chair there {indicating the one on porch r.) looking steadily down the road in the direction of the tavern. Looking, looking, always looking as if he hoped to see his son who ran away after he had that quarrel with his father, — ^just as if he thought that some day he'd come back home again ! (Mrs. M. looks very sad. Norma joins her mother on bench L.) Mrs. B. {rising). Mercy sakes ! You give me the creeps, Norma ! Why, if I'd heard that, I'd never have got up spunk enough to go into the old house this afternoon ! Miss O. {who during the story comes down steps). You went in, did you ? Mrs. B. Yes. I knew the door wasn't locked, — I just couldn't resist the temptation to Miss O. To see how clean a housekeeper I was ? Well, you found things pretty well swept up and dusted, I think, didn't you ? Mrs. B. {with a shrug). Things was tidy, and rather neat, — but when I think of the way Mrs. Freeman looked after the Major and kept things shining {Sighs.) Oh, well, of course you do the best you can under the circumstances, and with a house of your own to look after. THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA ft Miss O. {crossing down r., to Mrs. B.). Mrs. Captain Hippolytus Biddle, it ain't for such as you to pick flaws in the way other folks keeps house. Mercy ! if I had such a lookin' kitchen as I've seen in your house ! — I vow I'd lay right straight down and die with mortification! {Crosses back to gate c.) Hannah Jane, bring that there chair over here so's I can stand on it and tack up this here sign. Han. {on porch). The one Major Freeman's ghost sets in, ma'am? Miss O. The same. Han. But, ma'am, supposin' his ghost should want it ? It's near about stage time. Miss O. {looking toward Mrs. B., who has her back toivard her in disdain). I'll squelch him, then. I've squelched folks with more flesh an' blood than any poor ghost ever had ! {Stands on chair. To Han.) Hold this hammer. {Places bill against column. ) Is that high enough ? Mrs. B. (seated on bench r.). Suit your own good iudgment. Miss Oggsby. o j o Miss O. {curtly). I mean to. {To Han.) Pass me that hammer. {Takes it.) Hannah Jane, take them tacks right straight out of your mouth, this instant ! Do you want to choke and swallow them ? Han. No'm {Gulps and coughs as if she had, a?id looks scared for a mo- ment, then grills as she feels it has gone down.) Miss O. I believe you do, you are that perverse !— Keep them out !— Give me four tacks and the hammer. {Takes them and tacks bill in place.) That won't blow down in no wind, I reckon. {To Mrs. M.) How's that look, Mrs. Murray? Mrs. M. It's sheer desecration of the old house. {Rises and crosses r., sitting on bench beside Mrs. B.) Miss O. Hannah Jane Han. Yes'm ? MissO. {passifig). Take this hammer Han. Yes'm. {Takes it atid starts down steps.) Miss O. And wait here (Han. returns.) What do you suppose I brought you along for ? Han. {with a sigh). I dunno. Miss O. {taking Han.'s shoulder). Let me take hold of 10 THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA you to stiddy myself in gettin' down off of this chair. (^Comes down steps. ^ There, now. (^To Han., who started to follow her.') Put the old chair back in its place. {^Looks at sign in admiration.') That looks businesslike, don't it? Mrs. M. {sadly). Too businesslike. Miss O. {taking chair from c, and viovi^ig it down l.). Now I can set down and wait for some one to come along and hire it. — Hannah Jane ! Han. {comi?ig dow ft steps). Yes'm? Miss O. Bring me a glass of the spring water. (Fans her- self with her apron.) Have you noticed how awful hot it was all day, Mrs. Murray ? Mrs, M. {seated r.). Yes, indeed. Norma and I have been making a few calls. Miss O. Well, if you had a houseful of men like I have, you'd know how awful hot it was, standin' in the kitchen over the fire all day. Mrs. B. Are you full now? Miss O. Full? Well, I should say so. It's harvestin', you know, an' I've had to cook and eat for ten men this noon- ing! {Takes gourd from Han., ajid drinks. Then Han. returtis gourd to well.) Lucky thing they get only cold vittles at night. If it weren't for that, I think me an' Hannah'd up an' die right off. {To Mrs. B.) You don't know what it is to cook for a hungry man, Mrs. Biddle. Mrs. B. Only the Captain. Miss O. I forgot about him. He's home so seldom. Thank goodness I ain't married to no captain what comes home so seldom as your man does ! Why, it wouldn't seem one bit hke bein' married ! Mrs. M. Didn't I see the Captain last night ? Mrs. B. Very likely, — he's been home these two nights now. Miss O. So Hannah Jane said, but I didn't see him myself. She saw him settin' in the window when she went past to prayer-meetin'. Mrs. B. That's why I wasn't out to prayer-meetin'. It always seems as if Captain Hip comes home on prayer-meetin' nights. (Sighs. ) Mrs. M. Has he gone ? (Han. splashes some water, and ladies rise, then re-sit. Miss O. motions to Han. to stop it, and she does.) THE BEWILDERING MISS FELICIA J I Mrs. B. Yes — this mornin'. Mrs. M. I was up when the coach went down. (^Rises, and in a mojnent crosses up behind welly to L, c, where Norma joins her.) Mrs. B. Oh, he never takes the coach. Miss O. {curtly). So we've observed. Mrs. B. {slightly confused). You see, the Captain has his land-legs on so seldom that when he does have them on he says he'd much rather walk home to sort of get used to them before he has to lay them aside again. Miss O. {in astonishment). Mercy sakes ! His land-Xtg^} Mrs. B. Yes, his lafid-legs. Miss O. How many pairs has he, I'd like to know ? Mrs. B. (calmly). Two pairs. Miss O. Ttao pairs? Mrs. B. {quite self-possessed by now). Yes, two pairs — his land-legs and his sea-legs. One pair he wears on land, and the other pair on the sea. I've only seen one pair. Mrs. M. {looking off l.). Why, I do believe that is Miss Long coming down the road ! Mrs. B. {rising). I vow it is! {Glances r.) Gracious, but it must be late ! She always goes down to the store just before the stage comes in with the mail. Miss O. Hannah Jane ! Han. {coming c). Yes'm ! Miss O. You run right straight home and set the kittle biling. Han. {starting r.). Yes'm. Miss O. I'll be right along presently. Han. Yes'm. Miss O. {rising). Here, — take this chair back ¥iAi