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A LIVE NOVEL 
 
 A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS. 
 
 BY 
 
 3f J 
 
 WM. S. BODLEY. 
 
 j VimY 18 183 5 
 
 Printed for the use of the author. Any correspondence concern- 
 ing the play should be addressed to 
 
 WM. S. BODLEY, 
 S. E. cor. 17th and Montgomery Ave., 
 
 Philadelphia. 
 
 o 
 

 
 Copyright, 1885, by Wm. S. Bodley. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL, 
 A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS. 
 
 BY WILLIAM S. BODLEY. 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 Jasper January. — The novelist. 
 
 Mr. Clincher. — His adviser, the sage of Bluegrass. 
 
 Edward Ballou. — Gloomy aud bashful, in "1 
 
 love with Martha. 
 Rowan Dilland. — The hero. Also in love ! ■^^Pf!^ 
 
 with Martha. j Charact^ers. 
 
 Martha Estill. — The heroine. j 
 
 Lizzie Machen. — Engaged to Jasper. j 
 
 Mrs. Estill. — Mother of Martha. 
 Agnes Jones. — A neglected daughter. 
 Lawyer Broad. — A suitor to Lizzie. 
 Moses. — A colored boy; Jasper's servant. 
 Sophy. — A colored girl; Mrs. Estill's servant. 
 
 SCENE. 
 The Bluegrass Region, Kentucky. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 R. means Right ; L., Left ; R. D., Right Door ; L. D., 
 Left Door ; 2 E., Second Entrance ; LT. E., Upper En- 
 trance; M. D., Middle Door. 
 
 RELATIVE POSITIONS. 
 
 R., Right ; L., Left ; C, Centre ; R. C, Right of Centre ; 
 L. C, Left of Centre. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Scene. — A vjoodkmd, icith glimpses of a landscajje of green 
 fields. Fallen tree at 2 L. E. 
 
 Enter Rowan L., ivith letter in his hand. 
 
 Rowan. The very spot — ^just as it was six years ago! 
 Now I do feel at home again — at my old, rich, green, beau- 
 tiful home for good ! It ought to be a hajipy thought; but 
 there is a sort of sadness in snapping off college life and the 
 fellows forever to the past. No wonder the first thing' I do 
 here is to write back there — to my old haunts — to my 
 chum — to Fred Stone! But it's hard luck I must needs 
 write about that contemptible, disagreeable — bah ! I hate 
 to think of it! Well, it need be no matter — this letter 
 mailed, and the affair ends. College, Fred Stone, old boy, 
 and the rest, good-bye, forever ! To-day — to-day, and here 
 — I begin life as a man ! 
 
 Enter i\Ir. Clincher, L. 
 Why, Mr. Clincher ! Fni glad to see you ! 
 
 Clincher. (Shaking hands warmly.) Welcome, Rowan, 
 boy! Welcome back lo Bluegras? County. Ah ! here's a 
 home — old Bluegrass! Just look abroad at it! See how 
 it rolls and swells for you ! How are you, boy? But isn't 
 this the very spot for a view of all you care for! See 
 yonder (pointing) the noble farm of old widow Estill, with 
 her lovely daughter Martha. Ah, Martha's name inter- 
 ests you ! And yonder is Jim Stokes's " thousand acres ;" 
 and yonder Bob Piather's magnificent pastures, and yonder 
 Jack Larue's hundred-acre garden-spot, and yonder old 
 Stingy Jones's gold mine of a place, and yonder the ruins 
 of the old cross-roads post-office, and yonder — confound it ! — 
 the brand-new railroad station ; and here (placing his hand 
 071 his heart )\b a. welcome home from all of them for old Squire 
 Dilland's son! How are you, boy? (Shakes hands again.) 
 
 Botvan. Thank you. Oh, I know the whole county greets 
 me when you say welcome. I've not forgotten, Mr. Clincher, 
 yours is the mind and the heart of all Bluegrass. 
 
 Clincher. (Bather sadly.) So they say — so they said, 
 Rowan. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. O 
 
 Bowan. Aud as usual you're on baud just when needed; 
 I want your advice. 
 
 Clincher. Advice! (In an aggrieved tone.) xA.h, Rowan, I 
 doubt if I should venture to give it. 
 
 Bowan. { Surprised. ) I've never heard of such a doubt. 
 
 Clincher. Yes, Rowan, boy, it is violent; but it's in the 
 wind. 
 
 Rowan. What's the matter ? 
 
 Clincher. A great deal, a great deal. Never mind it. I 
 thought I saw a way to avert the trouble; but {with feel- 
 ing) Rowan I hold in my hand a note from a young man 
 who, like yourself, is about to start in the world. He fails 
 to appreciate me ; he disregards my advice. 
 
 Rowan. But, Mr. Clincher, that simply proves he's a 
 fool. 
 
 Clincher. It would seem so, but {again with feeling) 
 Rowan, boy, you know it yourself, and it goes without my 
 saying, for twenty years in matters social, agricultural, po- 
 litical or otherwise, I have been esteemed an authority 
 hereabouts. 
 
 Bowan. The wisest man in Bluegrass — not a soul denies 
 it. 
 
 Clincher. Ah, it is a proud position! Bvit (to-ith feeling) 
 has my honor or my honesty ever been questioned ? 
 
 Bowan. Of course not. 
 
 Clincher. To do so would be to assail Bluegrass county, 
 the masterpiece of earth, — combining exquisite beauty with 
 solid fertility ; how I love it ! and shall Bluegrass county 
 after all be deceived and disgraced in me? 
 
 Bowan. Does the scoundrel's note threaten that? 
 
 Clincher. Why Rowan, boy, there are no threats, but 
 this marriage of his will ruin me. 
 
 Bowan. Marriage! whose marriage? 
 
 Clincher. Did I say marriage? I was talking about this 
 note. You know Jasper is to be married to my ward, Liz- 
 zie Machen ; a sudden engagement. He came home only 
 a mouth ago, aud the wedding is only two weeks off — the 
 impetuous children ! However, I want to see Jasper about 
 this note of his. Where is he? 
 
6 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Rowan. He's at my house yonder. Let rae call him for 
 you (going). 
 
 Clincher. Do, please. (Exit Rowan, L.) Come to think, 
 it's infernal strange that I should have moved so smoothly 
 through a long and honored life only at last to be brought 
 up against myself as a — as a sort of defaulter. Hello, 
 there's that lawyer ! On time, of course. Bearers of misery 
 are always prompt. It's a light load for them. 
 
 Enter Lawyer Broad, L. 
 Welcome, lawyer Broad, welcome! 
 
 Broad. (Coldly.) Good morning, Mr. Clincher. 
 
 Clincher. Good morning, sir. 
 
 Broad. You received my note, I suppose? 
 
 Clincher. Yes, and it has made me miserable enough. 
 I'm no bookkeeper. I thought my accounts with Lizzie 
 were all right. Ever since you told me I was in that dear 
 girl's debt — dishonestly in her debt — it has seemed to me 
 as if the sky were hanging and sinking with terrible dis- 
 aster and about to burst, not on me alone, but — on all Blue- 
 grass. Think of it, Mr. Broad ! I have the love of every- 
 body; I know everybody and everything in Bluegrass. 
 
 Broad. I don't dispute it. 
 
 Clincher. If there's a head of stock I do not know, it is 
 an interloping scrub from some other county ; if there's a 
 farm I'm not familiar with, it is my own. I know every 
 man, woman and child in Bluegrass, and I love them all! 
 Mr. Broad, all I need is time. Is there no way to postpone 
 the settlement of Lizzie's accounts? 
 
 Broad. Only one. You must either have the marriage 
 put off or have the money ready. We can help each other. 
 I find that you ought to have on hand an uninvested bal- 
 ance of S8000 ; how much have you? 
 
 Clincher. I have given Lizzie about §2000 ; five thousand 
 are gone. 
 
 Broad. Where? 
 
 Clincher. Never was money lost in a better cause. 
 
 Broad. How ? 
 
 Clincher. For the honor of Bluegrass county. 
 
 Broad. Speak plainly. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 7 
 
 Clincher. No horse ever went out from Bluegrass county 
 that could not count on Jonathan Clincher for a backer. 
 
 Broad. You lost it on horse-races, then ? 
 
 Clincher. And every horse an honor to his birth-place. 
 I knew them all, Mr. Broad, from the days they were 
 foaled. No man ever did a shrewder thing than to back 
 Jim Stokes's War Dance filly, or Bob Prather's Lexington 
 colt, or Jack Larue's prince and model of runners — Fire 
 Fly. 
 
 Broad. But they all lost. 
 
 Clincher. No sir! Fire Fly has never lost ! 
 
 Broad. Has he ever run ? 
 
 Clincher. Not yet; but when he does, a hurricane could 
 not dust him ! Why, where are they going to find anything 
 to' beat such a colt? Just look at his pedigree — the finest 
 in the world — a warm stream of bounding blue blood clear 
 back to the beginning, two hundred years ago! Sixteen 
 hands high — perfect form — graceful but powerful — a lovely 
 bay, rich as mahogany — with the spirit of a prince and a 
 courage all his own — I would stake my life on him ! No 
 no! They — can't beat him — they can't — they shan't! 
 
 Broad. So you thought of the others doubtless. Yet, 
 they lost. 
 
 Clincher. Yes, but it was bad luck, such as wouldn't 
 happen again in a hundred years. Now take the case of 
 Bob. Prather's colt— 
 
 Broad. Never mind the reasons — 
 
 Clincher. Do not stop me, sir ! Do not stop me ! 
 
 Broad. Why not ? 
 
 Clincher. Because I'm talking horse! 
 
 Broad. You've lost five thousand and have given your 
 ward two thousand. Where is the balance, one thousand 
 dollars ? 
 
 Clincher. Where it should be, sir. I do not like your 
 cold-blooded questions. Where it should be. 
 
 Broad. You have it on hand then. 
 
 Clincher. No, sir. I have it on Fire Fly. The odds 
 against him at Lexington are tremendous. Postpone the 
 marriage until after the races, and Fire Fly will have made 
 everything right. 
 
8 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Broad. Is that your only hope ? 
 
 Clincher. Hope ! A cowardly, insulting word ! It's a 
 sure thing. 
 
 Broad. At any rate the marriage must be postponed or 
 the match broken off' in some way. That's what I call a 
 sure thing. Have you told this boy Jasper yo»i will with- 
 hold your consent? 
 
 Clincher. No, sir, and I won't. It's a good match for 
 both. But it is too abrupt, and outside of its danger to me, it 
 ought to be postponed. I expect Jasper here in a moment. 
 
 Broad. What sort of a fellow is he? 
 
 Clincher. A thorough-bred — rich — full of conceited confi- 
 dence — but smart and loveable — brash now as a two-year- 
 old — reading the world through his fancies — ready to dash 
 headlong after anything that j)leases him — 
 
 Broad. And to make a fool of himself 
 
 Clincher. Of course; that's a natural conclusion. 
 
 Broad. There you have him. I know your ward Lizzie 
 myself; better than you suspect perhaps. I've studied her. 
 Let that boy offend her once and the wedding will be post- 
 poned — twice and the match is off! Have you any influ- 
 ence with the boy ? 
 
 Clincher. I have influence with every body in Bluegrass. 
 Jasper asked my advice yesterday. He said he thought 
 that as he was about to marry he ought to have something 
 to do — something easy he preferred. The nicest and easiest 
 thing he could think of was to be an author — to write a 
 novel. 
 
 Broad. Ah, here's your chance! You encouraged hira 
 of course ? 
 
 Clincher. Of course I did. He seemed to be in earnest. 
 Always adopt a boy's bent in advising him. But last night 
 he sent me this note saying he had tried writing a novel for 
 six hours, and it wouldn't do. [Jaaper things a lively tune 
 without.) That's the boy now. 
 
 Broad. Well, you know what you've got to do. Re- 
 member this, if the match is broken off, I will see you out 
 of all your trouble. (Exit Broad L.) 
 
 Clincher. Things are brighter, decidedly brighter! 
 (Jasper sings.) Ah, ha, my blithe boy, you are too young 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 9 
 
 to marry, for I'm too old to be disgraced. Jasper, boy, come 
 here. 
 
 Enter' Jasper 'R., ivith hunting equipments. 
 Stand right there, boy, and answer my questions. Tell 
 me this: How did Skinner Keen come to practice law? 
 and Dr. Weller medicine? and Sam Anderson to make 
 whiskey ? and Henry Clay Gulper to drink it? 
 
 Jasper. By your advice, of course, Mr. Clincher. 
 
 Clincher. Yes, but — was I right? 
 
 Jasper. You have n't been wrong in twenty years. 
 
 Clincher. Yes, and when I said to you yesterday, " Jasper, 
 boy, be a novelist," was I wrong? 
 
 Jasper. You were right, Mr. Clincher, right. 
 
 Clincher. Right? Then what did you mean by this? 
 {Reads from note.) "It won't work. I can't write a novel." 
 
 Jasper. Please tear that up (Clincher does so gladly); I 
 wrote it in a fit of desperation. I had started out under 
 the delusion that to be a novelist was only to seize one's 
 bright thoughts, put 'em on paper, mix 'em up, and there's 
 your novel. Gloriously easy and easily glorious, thought 
 I, I'll do it right off. I got j'our approval, rushed back 
 home, locked my doors, squared myself at a desk, wrote 
 twenty pages in two hours, and then — I stopped. 
 
 Clincher. Stopped ? 
 
 Jasper. Yes. Stopped dead still like a trembling colt 
 balked by a heavy load. 
 
 Clincher. What was the matter? 
 
 Jasper. I had written all I knew — started a thousand 
 new ways with dictionary words — no go — robbed the dic- 
 tionary of all the good ones and barely had enough left at 
 the end of six hours to write that note. 
 
 Clincher. That miserable chicken-hearted note! 
 
 Jasper. I tell you it was terrible to have to give up so 
 soon, especially when I thought how easy others find it to 
 write novels. Thousands are at it always — 
 
 Clincher. Thousands upon thousands, boy ! 
 
 Jasper. Thousands of printing presses are grinding out 
 novels day after day. The world is full of book-stores, and 
 the book-stores are full of novels — 
 
 Clincher. I know it, boy ! 
 
10 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jmper. Millions of readers are stretching out their arms 
 for more — more novels ! 
 
 Clincher. Millions are l>->nging for yovi, Jasper! 
 
 Jaf^per. I know it! When I thought of all these things, 
 it nearly maddened me. I seized ray gun and rushed out 
 of the house ! 
 
 Clincher. To kill yourself, doubtless. 
 
 Jasper. No— rabbits or something else as weak and silly 
 as myself. Lord, how I slaughtered them! 
 
 Clincher. {In glee.) And how is it now— uo(t', Jasper, 
 boy ? 
 
 Jmper. Look at me and see a novelist. 
 
 Clincher. .{Seizincj his hand.) I can see it still after 1 
 joyously shut my eyes! But what brought you to your 
 senses ? 
 
 Jasper. The simplest thing imaginable. I happened to 
 hear that Rowan was homq and went to see him. When 
 he went to college six years ago he and my cousin :\Iartha 
 loved each other. Now. He loves her yet and intends to 
 tell her so; she loves him yet and she'll let him know- 
 hero and heroine! 
 
 Clincher. Well ? Go on. 
 
 Jasper. This thought struck me: Oh, if I were only a 
 novelist I'd watch every step and make a note of every word 
 in their love making. 
 
 Clincher. Yes, yes! Of course. And so you would 
 gather materials, something to write. Jasper, boy, get the 
 facts. 
 
 Jasper. Precisely. I attempted to reproduce Bluegrass 
 County without first studying its manners and people in real 
 life with that object. 
 
 Clincher. Exactly. You were born and raised here and 
 thought you knew them ; but you now .'^ee a novelist studies 
 everything with a remote sort of eye. Your knowledge 
 grew up slowly with yourself. 
 
 Jasper. Yes. It's part of me — 
 
 Clincher. Like the back of your neck, and you can't see 
 it and analyze it unless you study it in others by comparison, 
 or, by twisting your bead, in a combination of mirrors. 
 You must see evervthing over again uncomfortably with 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 11 
 
 double eyes — as uovelist aud man. Why, for iustance, here 
 you are engaged to be married, and you don't know at this 
 moment whether the love between you and Lizzie is the 
 genuine thing — whether it would stand the test of going into 
 a novel. 
 
 Jasper. You go deep — clear to the quick, Mr. Clincher. 
 
 Clincher. Certainly we go deep. An ordinary man may 
 slur things over, but a uovelist must be thorough — he must 
 stab to the heart. Jasper, if people fail to show you the 
 bottom of their hearts you must stir them up. Grief, shame, 
 hate, fear, jealousy — 
 
 Jasper. Oh, I'm no soft-hearted navelist ! I'll stir 'em up 
 — friend and foe! But not a soul shall know what I'm 
 about — not even Lizzie. 
 
 Clincher, That's the talk, bo}', that's the talk ! 
 
 Jasper. It w'ould never do to let people know. "Look out 
 for him ! " they would say, " He's a novelist — a character 
 snatcher — a dissector of human nature ! " No, I'll keep my 
 secret and find out other people's. 
 
 Clincher. That's the way ! Ha ! ha ! you'll do — you 
 will do, Jasper, boy ! and Bluegrass County has a uovelist at 
 last! (Seizing both his hands.) 
 
 Re-enter Rowan. 
 
 Rmvan. Hello! This is happy ! What has Mr. Clincher 
 advised? What are you going to do, Jasper? 
 
 Jasper. Hear him! What am I going to do! When 
 it's as good as done! Why, I am going to do something 
 glorious. 
 
 Rowan. What? {Clincher signals to Jasper not to tell.) 
 
 Jasper. Nothing. Am I capable of it? 
 
 Rowan. Nothing? Mr. Clincher, did you advise that? 
 
 Jasper. Yes, he did. Have you any objections? 
 
 Rowan. Not one. It w^as perfect wisdom. You will suc- 
 ceed. 
 
 Jasper. {To Clincher, nettled.) I'd give a pretty to tell 
 him all about it — just to show him how badly he's fooled. 
 
 Clincher. No — no, boy. Let your work speak for you. 
 
 Jasper. {Acquiescing.) (To Roivan.) Come, Rowan, let's 
 be off to Aunt Estill's. My Lizzie is there, and your Martha. 
 {Winks at Clincher in. a business-like way.) 
 
12 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Rowan. My Martha? The hist time I saw her we were 
 mere children. 
 
 Clincher. And now you're a man and she's a lovely 
 woman. 
 
 Jasper. And here you are, come back like the long-lost 
 hero of a romance. i^Winks at Clincher.^ But say, go back 
 and get your gun. 
 
 Rowan. Gun ! What for — to hunt Martha with? 
 
 Jasper. No. That would end all in the first chapter. 
 To thunder with — 
 
 Rowan. To do what? 
 
 Jasper. Oh, nothing; only get your gun. We will go 
 out hunting, so to say, and merely drop in on the girls by 
 a strange chance, you know, such as befits the romantic re- 
 turn from college of our hero, who with his faithful friend 
 has wandered through the sombre woods in that direction. 
 
 Roxvan. What's all this! If you do nothing as well as 
 you say it, you'll lead a busy life. 
 
 Jasper. Anyhow, please get your gun. 
 
 Rowan. All right then. Armed or unarmed, I'm half 
 afraid to meet Martha. Perhaps she has forgotten me. 
 You say she has sometimes spoken of me? 
 
 Jasper. Over and over again. But do go, get your things, 
 and I'll bring you to her. {^Roivan starts L., but returns 
 taking letter from hi^ pocket.) I forgot this; I must mail it 
 in time for the ue.Kt train. 
 
 Jasper. {Taking it from him.) Ah, go on! Never mind 
 the letter; I'll attend to that. (Rotvan going). Hello, Row- 
 an ! This letter is n't sealed or stamped. 
 
 Rowan. Nor read either. You undertook the job ; now 
 do it all. It will make no difterence. Nobody could un- 
 derstand it, for it is a very deep, mysterious document. You 
 can try, if you wish. You'll accomplish nothing, which is 
 in your line now, I believe. (E.i:it Rowan, L.) 
 
 Ja.'^per. Ah, hurry back. Rowan; for you are to supply 
 the sugar — the love — for a novel that will sweeten the world. 
 
 Clincher. A solid Bluegrass novel, Rowan, made up, not 
 of speculations, but of chunks of human nature, quivering 
 with life and dripping blood! Ha! ha! Jasper, boy! 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 13 
 
 Jasper. Ha! ha! Mr. Clincher! I'm happy ; indeed I 
 am. I feel — bully! 
 
 Clincher. (Starting.) Lord bless me ! That reminds me ; 
 Bob Johnson ships that $10,000 calf to-day, and I haven't 
 taken my last look yet. {Going.) Get to work, -Jasper ! I'll 
 always be with you ! Bluegrass has never had a novelist 
 and she needs you. {Exit, L.) 
 
 Jasper. And so this novelist goes to work, picking up a 
 passion there and a secret here {/ooHng at Bowan's letter, 
 putting it in his pocket and drawing forth a small note-book) 
 and always — let's see — (writes in a book) — deep and remote 
 in thought, keen and alert in observing, and, when any hu- 
 man nature can be got in chunks, cutting deep, clear to the 
 quick. [Looking off to E.) Hello! here comes Martha, now ! 
 ( Writes.) "On a certain lovely day, in Bluegrass County, 
 Kentucky, the beautiful Martha Estill, the heroine of this 
 novel, was descried by her cousin slowly and thoughtfully 
 wending her way through the lawn-cropt woods-pasture that 
 spread before her mother's comfortable mansion — " {slap- 
 ping book into his pocket and going L.) And I'll bring the 
 hero on in the first chapter ! {Exit, L.) 
 
 Enter Martha R. (tvith leaves and grasses in her arms). 
 
 Martha. Yes, this is the very spot. Six years — how 
 long Rowan has been gone! I said I would be his wife — 
 how funny six years make it seem ! And how doubtful. 
 We w'ere mere children. I wonder if he loves me yet ? If 
 I knew, I think I should be perfectly happy. {Pauses.) 
 Enter Agnes. {She stands back.) 
 
 No — no; I can't be happy till Edward takes back his 
 note, so foolish for him, so pitiful for me. (Taking it from 
 her pocket and in so doing dropping leaves, etc.) (Looking 
 arovnd and seeing Agnes.) So very, very pitiful for her! 
 (Hiding the note.) Oh, Agnes, yonder are some very bright 
 leaves! Won't you get them for me? (Pointing off L.) 
 
 Agnes. Martha, you don't want the leaves ; but you do 
 want me to go for them, — at least you want me to go. 
 You'd rather I would not return. 
 
 Martha. Why, Agnes, what do you mean ? 
 
 Agnes. I mean you have changed towards me since yes- 
 terday. Something has come between us. Are you ashamed 
 
14 A LIVE XOVKI.. 
 
 of me because I'm not so well dressed as you or Lizzie? Or 
 because my father, with all hi? riches, is mean and stingy to 
 rae? You were not formerly so particular about these 
 things. 
 
 Martha. Why, Agnes, I love you to-day ; yesterday I was 
 only friendly to you ; that's the only change. 
 
 Agnes. [Brightening.) And why ? But never mind ! If 
 you would only love me — nobody else does. Oh, I see the 
 leaves you want now ! {Exit L). 
 
 Martha. (Taking seat on the fallen tree.) This dreadful 
 little note; I can't help reading it over and over again ; so 
 tender, so passionate, so hopelessly misguided ; it almost 
 makes me crv. Why did you send it, Edward? {Crumples 
 it.} 
 
 Enter Lizzie R. (rapidly). 
 
 Lizzie. (Stopping short.) What are you doing — crying? 
 
 Martha. No, I'm only arranging leaves for mother's 
 mantel. 
 
 Lizzie. Indeed ! But where are the leaves ? 
 
 Martha. Oh, I've dropped them ; there they are. (Lizzie 
 picks up her handsfnl and pours them in Martha's lup.) 
 
 Lizzie. There, now ! It will please your mother. 
 
 Martha. Yes, indeed. I gather them every fall. To neg- 
 lect it now would be very wrong. 
 
 Lizzie. (Beproachfully.) Any neglect of those who love 
 us is very wrong. 
 
 Martha. Have I neglected you, Lizzie? 
 
 Lizzie. Ever since yesterday. You neglect me now, 
 sweet. (Taking seat close.) Fm your most intimate friend; 
 yet you ran away from me out here to cry over that note 
 (Martha tries to conceal it), and you would hide it as a secret 
 even from me. Can't you trust me with it? 
 
 Martha. What good could it do? It would only make 
 you sad. 
 
 Lizzie. I never was sad and I want to be. (Reaches for 
 note.) 
 
 Martha. No, Lizzie ; it belongs in part to another and 
 he — 
 
 Lizzie. He! (Makes a determined reach.) Are — vou — in 
 —love? 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 15 
 
 Martha. A man is in love with me. 
 
 Lizzie. That's not so sad. 
 
 Martha. But he's a man whom I've always regarded as a 
 brother, cousin — anything dear but lover. I think that is 
 sad. 
 
 Lizzie. ( Throwing her arms uith impulsive curiosity about 
 Martha's neck.) Oh, tell me, Martha ! (Slyly takes note from 
 Martha's hand.) (Reads) " Dear Martha : JS'o doubt my—" 
 but who wrote it? {Turns to end.) "Edward." And who 
 is Edw^ard ? 
 
 Re-enter Agues. (She stands back.) 
 
 Martha. Edward Ballon. 
 
 Lizzie. Edward Ballon ! What, not your mother's com- 
 mon overseer ? 
 
 Martha. He is not an overseer, Lizzie ; you surely know 
 better than that. (She rises and moves to C) 
 
 Lizzie. Well, then, if he's not an overseer he's what over- 
 seers used to be in slave times, only he's of the humane 
 kind. And does he dare to love you, Martha? Why 
 (laughinghj), the shy, gloomy man ; (Martha looks at her re- 
 proachfully, and Agnes moves forward in anger) I thought 
 him too deeply wrapped up in himself and his oversee — oc^ 
 cupation to dream of loving anybody. Indeed, it's too 
 comical — that man in love! (Laughing.') 
 
 Agnes. (Coming down angrily.) You laugh at him, and I 
 despise you for it. Suppose Edward is bashful and gloomy, 
 that surely is anything but funny ! For those who know 
 him and appreciate him his heart and character are suffi- 
 cient. If he seldom laughs they do not make remarks 
 about it ; if he is so shy and bashful they have forgotten it ; 
 if he is an overseer. Miss Machen, he is honest and able, 
 and no one has a right to abuse him for it. (Starts to go, 
 then turns.) Martha, you can tell her, can't you, how good 
 and true he has always been to you and your mother. 
 (Exit R.) 
 
 Lizzie. What did she mean by such an outburst? 
 
 Martha. She loves him. 
 
 Lizzie. Oh, how cruel I have been ! (Runs and looks R. 
 after Agnes ; then returns and embraces Martha.) Forgive 
 me, Marthfl, and explain it all to me. I declare I love the 
 
16 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 man myself now. (Reads) " Dear Martha : No doubt my 
 conduct just now surprised and alarmed you — " What 
 conduct? 
 
 Martha. It was so singular I I was reading alone in the 
 parlor yesterday. I think I felt him come in ; I turned ; 
 he was in the centre of the room ; his face was, oh, so 
 white, and he trembled. His lips moved but made no 
 sound ; I thought him ill and asked him. His lips moved 
 but could'not answer. In an instant he was gone. Then 
 — that note. 
 
 Lizzie. How very curious! 
 
 Martha. No, not curious in Edward. He is .so sad, so 
 intense. But listen : (takes the note and reads) " No doubt 
 my conduct just now surprised and alarmed you. God 
 knows I did not intend it so. I came with a heart full of 
 love to tell you. I reached your side, but there I found ray 
 love beyond the utterance of my tongue. I could not 
 speak and so I fled. iNIartha, I ask you all I dare — to let 
 me hope. Edward." 
 
 Lizzie. And does he hope now? 
 
 Martha. I do not know. Since then I have avoided him. 
 If I speak to him he might misconstrue me, for to make it 
 plain I mean no encouragement would wound his feelings 
 — he is so sensitive. 
 
 Lizzie. Pie must be cured. 
 
 Martha. But how? What can I do, Lizzie? 
 
 Lizzie. He is retiring in his habits — lives almost entirely 
 
 within the four walls of himself. There, this love of his 
 
 must be a starved thing that feeds upon its musings, growing 
 
 monstrous. We must draw him out. And I can do it — 
 
 how lucky ! I invited him and Agnes to my party, at 
 
 which I'm to surprise everybody by inviting them to ray 
 
 wedding. I even asked your mother to urge him to go. 
 
 She said she'd try to take him herself. Now he shall go! 
 
 Come, sit down and I'll tell you how to manage it. (They 
 
 take seats on tree and seem to be deeply engaged in talking.) 
 
 Enter Jasper and Rowan U. E. {Both bear hunting 
 
 equipments. They stop, and Roivan gaze^ fixedly at 
 
 Martha.) 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 17 
 
 Jaspei: (To Boivan.) There they are! Is your gun 
 heavily loaded ? 
 
 Rowan. I thiuk so. Whv ? It is Martha and she's beau- 
 tiful. 
 
 Jasper. Will she lumber? 
 
 Rowan. Who? What? Oh, the gun — yes, she used to 
 lumber. I wonder if she'll know me. 
 
 Jasper. Well, then, let me manage it. You slip up close 
 behind them, aim up into the tree, pull trigger and — 
 
 Rowan. What are you talking about ! Why should I 
 do that? 
 
 Jasper. To stir 'em up to the core. Just think. Martha 
 will faint in your arms. You've been away six years, and 
 you ought to come in with thunder now. Quick, will you ? 
 
 Rowan. No. 
 
 Jasper. Then I will. 
 
 Rowan. No — no — don't ! (Jasper lifts Ms gun and starts 
 forward). Stop, Jasper! Here, leave it to me. (Herestrains 
 Jasper and tip-toes near to the girls, joointing his gun into the 
 tree but looking through his lifted arms at Martha. Jasper 
 stands back, watching nervously. A pause ; after which Jasper 
 accidentally fires his gun and disappears. Lizzie and Martha 
 spring to their feet, Lizzie dropping Edward's note from her 
 lap.) 
 
 Lizzie. ) (Terrified.) (To Rowan.) Oh, sii', do not shoot 
 
 Martha, j again ! 
 
 Rowan. (Jjouiering his gun.) Pray, do not think I fired ! 
 It was shameful. 
 
 Lizzie. Come, come Martha, let us run ! He might shoot 
 us next! 
 
 Martha. (Aside.) It is Rowan ! Rowan ! Has he for- 
 gotten me? 
 
 Rowan. I beg you let me explain. 
 
 Lizzie. (Dragging Martha away.) What does the man 
 mean by speaking to us so tenderly ! Oh, do come, Martha. 
 
 Martha. (To Lizzie.) That is Rowan. He has forgotten 
 me. 
 
 Rowan. Do not go, Martha. Don't you know me! 
 
 Martha. (Turning.) I do know you. Rowan; and I'm so 
 
 2 
 
18 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 glad to see you home again. (They shake hancU with embar- 
 rassment.) You are so chauged. 
 
 Rowa)!,. Am I? Oh yes, it is six years, and then that 
 gun was — another — did you really think I — well if you 
 don't mind the gun I won't — 3'ou also are much chauged. 
 
 Jasper reappears, U. E. 
 
 Martha. Am I? Sure enough, one changes a great deal 
 when growing up, and then I suspect I don't look exactly 
 like myself; that gun, you know — but your gun doesn't even 
 smoke! Isn't it strange I Whose guu was it — I can't 
 imagine. ( TJiey stand hack talking ear/erly. ) 
 
 Lizzie. (To Jasper who has joined her.) How frightened 
 I was. How I enjoy to know it was only your mischief. 
 ( Glancim/ around at Rowan.) So that is Rowan, the wonder- 
 ful Rowan Martha has talked about so much ! He is rather 
 handsome. Why doesu't Martha introduce him to me? I 
 might as well be a thousand miles away. They are virtually 
 alone at this moment, and might as well kiss and hug at 
 once — the old lovers! Martha shouldn't mind me, should 
 she ? 
 
 Jasper. Of course not! Not in the least; she knows 
 you've done it. See here, Rowan ! Plere's the way to make 
 yourself a hero! (He (jaick/y embraces and kisses Lizzie.) 
 
 Lizzie. {Indignant.) Jasper! That was outrageous ! 
 
 Jasper. You shouldn't mind. Martha knows you've done 
 it before. I told Rowan n)yself. Get to work. Rowan ! 
 {Pointinr/ to Martha.) 
 
 All. (Astonished.) Jasper! 
 
 Jasper. What's the matter with you all ! What's a kiss 
 anyhow! What's a hug! (Rejiectively aside.) What is a 
 kiss? What is a hug? A novelist ought to know such 
 things. ( Takex out the note-book and ■■starts to make an entry 
 — thinks.) I've forgotten already how they feel. No matter. 
 (To Lizzie.) Come here ; let me tell you something. ( Calmly 
 kisses her again, rolls hij< eyes up thour/hfjidly, tastes with his lips 
 and reaching a deci.iion enters it in his note-book.) Never 
 mind the kiss. Rowan. {He quickly puts his arm around 
 Lizzie's waist. Repeats business.) Never mind the hug. 
 Rowan. (To Lizzie.) Say, Lizzie, tell me how a kiss or a 
 hug affects you ! (Stands ready to )tote reply.) 
 
A IJVB NOVEL. 19 
 
 Lizzie. What is all this nonsense ! What's in that book ? 
 Here, show it me. 
 
 Jasper. Please don't disturb me, Lizzie. I'm busy. 
 
 Lizzie. Busy ! Jasper, are you a fool ! 
 
 Jasper. Oh, go on ; get mad if you like. You'll soon 
 know whether I'm a fool or not. (To Martha, ivho is L. C, 
 pleadingly.) My dear cousiu, I know you are glad Rowan 
 is back. How did your heart feel when at the sound of 
 the gun you beheld him before you? Tell me, please. 
 
 Martha. Jasper, you are behaving shamefully. {She moves 
 up.) 
 
 Jasper. (Taking Rowan aside — importantly.) Now tell 
 me truly. Describe your sensations when you cast your 
 eyes upon Martha just now after six long years of separa- 
 tion. 
 
 Rowan. Fool ! 
 
 Jasper. He felt like a fool (makes entry in book). 
 
 Lizzie. (Coming down.) I must see that book — give it 
 me! 
 
 Jasper. My darling, I will not. 
 
 Lizzie. But you shall. 
 
 Jasper. I'd rather give you my heart. 
 
 Lizzie. Havu't I got it already? 
 
 Jasper. As Romeo said, I wish I had it back. 
 
 Lizzie. You are welcome to it. 
 
 Jasper. But, like Romeo again, I'd take it only on con- 
 dition that you'd try to win it once more. 
 
 Lizzie. Didn't I get it fairly? 
 
 Jasper. Yes, but too easily. To save my soul I couldn't 
 tell now how it happened — 'twas all so sudden. 
 
 Lizzie. And you'd like to try it all over again? 
 
 Jasper. I'd like to see how a girl goes about it — how she 
 traps a fellow's heart. 
 
 Lizzie. Traps! Do you think I set traps for you? 
 
 Jasper. No. Heaven made you a trap, and I tumbled in 
 blindly. 
 
 Lizzie. Blindly ! 
 
 Jasper. I want to lose my heart with my eyes open. 
 
 Lizzie. You think, perhaps, you'd be more circumspect 
 next time. 
 
20 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jasper. I'd keep a remote eye on everything. 
 
 Lizzie. You doubt my love then. 
 
 Jasper. No, I don't. 
 
 Lizzie. Then what is all your doubting about ! What is 
 the matter with me or you or anybody ! W'^hat's in that 
 book ! Let me see it — I will see it ! {Jasper retires up, and 
 Lizzie follows. They engacje in a lively di^jude in dumb-show. 
 Jasper tries to overhear Martha and lintvan, who are L.C.) 
 
 Iioivan. Martha, do you remember that last tender parting 
 we had? 
 
 Martha. Yes. What foolish little things we were then ! 
 
 Roivan. Not so foolish after all. We thought our love 
 and tears and vows as grand as anybody's, ^^'e loved each 
 other truly if it was childish love. 
 
 Jasper. (Aside.) Love I There's love talk going on, and I 
 can't hear a word. 
 
 Martha. I shall always smile when 1 think of that scene. 
 
 Rowan. But I shall always treasure it. 
 
 Jaxper. Treasure ! Love and treasure ! Lizzie, if you 
 must talk, whisper. I can't understand you or anybody 
 else. 
 
 Lizzie. \\\\o else is there? 
 
 Jasper. {Cominrj down.) Now, Rowan, for my sake, make 
 a note of your feelings. Here are pencil and paper. Write 
 down what you've said to each other and describe your feel- 
 ings while it was coming. (Offering Rowan book and 
 pencil.) 
 
 Rowan. I've a notion to cram them down your throat. 
 
 Jasper. Martha, please. {Forcing hook and pencil into her 
 hand.-<.} 
 
 Martha. Jasper, pray have done with this nonsense ! {She 
 throws the book down. Lizzie secures it, and Jasper pursues 
 her.') 
 
 Lizzie. Do hold him, i\Ir. Dilland ! (Rowan does so.) 
 (i^md.N'.) " Experiments on Lizzie — Set No. L" Oh, the 
 monster ! (Reads.) " Incident — kissed her. Sensation — 
 slight. Inclination to repeat — slighter ! " Look here, 
 Jasper January ! (Reads.) " Remark — kissing is utterly 
 tasteless, a humbug. Avoid kisses." Jasper January, you 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 21 
 
 are a mean — this is a sneaking, treacherous thing to do, 
 nothing else ! (Flings book away and paces stage.) 
 
 Martha. (Picking vp the book.) May be if you'd only 
 read more, Lizzie, it would all be explained. 
 
 Lizzie. It can't be explained ; it was meant as a de- 
 liberate insult. But go on, read it, if you are so anxious. 
 
 Martha. {Reads.) " Incident — hugged her. Observa- 
 tion — her corset was awful tight ! " (Lizzie screams and 
 rushes away R., Martha laughing., dropping note-book a7id fol- 
 lowing.) 
 
 Rowan. (Folloudng them, picks up book. Reads.) 
 " Moral — slash the corsets." (Flings the book at Jasper 
 angrily.) (Exit R.) 
 
 Jasper. Stir 'em up — shame, ^rief, hate, love too and 
 treasure — I should say so ! ha ! ha ! If Mr. Clincher 
 could just see the novelist now ! 
 
 Enter Clincher (from behind tree?). 
 
 Clincher. Pla ! ha! oh, I was here! Bob Johnson's calf 
 is gone, and I hurried back to you. You didn't know, boy, 
 I was choking behind that tree. Lizzie was mad, very 
 mad, wasn't she? But I can make it up for you any time. 
 Ah, boy, you're getting facts, materials — hello ! what's 
 this? (Picks xip Edward' s note .) Somebody's note. "Dear 
 Martha," it begins, and " Edward " signs it. 
 
 Jasper. What's it about ? 
 
 Clincher. That's a secret. 
 . Jasper. Let me see it. ( Takes note.) (Indignant.) See 
 here, Mr. Clincher, that pale, trembling, bashful fellow, my 
 aunt Estill's overseer, dares to say he loves my cousin 
 Martha! Read this ! I'll wring his neck ! 
 
 Clincher. (Reads.) "Dear Martha : No doubt — " (Peruses 
 rest.) Jasper, this will never, never do. Why, Martha is my 
 favorite of all the girls — her mother young again. And this 
 Edward ! (Dropping into an extremely confidential tone.) 
 Jasper, boy, it has always been my pride that I know every 
 man, woman and child in Bluegrass and love them all; 
 but (with feeling) there is one whom I hate, every inch of 
 him. He is the man who never would let me know him, 
 this same " Edward," Edward Ballon! He must be put 
 down. 
 
22 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jasper. And I'm the one to (\o it! I'll choke the life — 
 
 Clincher. No, no, boy ; here's a chance for the novelist 
 with a secret. Be deft and gentle with him. 
 
 Jasper. I will, Mr. Clincher, but I'll l)e thorough! He's 
 bashful, and I'll use this note to ridicule his love till I 
 squeeze it out of him. He himself will not know what I'm 
 doing, no more than the characters in book novels know 
 what their authors are doing with them. Ah, Mr. Clincher, 
 it was lucky to get hold of this secret. By the way, there's 
 something mysterious in that letter of Rowan's. (Takes 
 Bowaiis letter from his pocket and opens it.) 
 
 Clincher. (Aside.) He has opened it ! I will not counte- 
 nance such conduct. (To Jasper, who is reading and pays no 
 heed.) Lord bless me, I must go ! Stingy Jones asked me to 
 eat a turkey dinner with him. {E.rit rapidly.) 
 
 Jasper. (Reading.) " ^ly dear Fred: I send you here- 
 with the rough draft of a letter you should cause Black 
 Johnny to hand to Stella. You will see I have made it 
 rather 'soft,' for to let her carry out her threats would, I'm 
 afraid, spoil everything. You can copy it into your hand- 
 writing like the rest and sign it. Here it is: 'My darling 
 little wife'" — hello! Rowan married! novel-writing is ex- 
 citing work, and I like my trade. (Reads.) '"Mydarlinor 
 little wife: I am home again, but not for long, I hope. I 
 shall fly back to you as soon as possible. A short parting 
 used to be sad, but now this long enforced absence is fright- 
 ful. However, a better lime is coming. I promised to 
 send you money on arrival here. You shall have it, but I 
 can't send it now. I'll bring it myself as soon as I work 
 out a certain scheme I have in mind. Believe me, dear 
 Stella,' etc. and to you, my dear Fred, I am and ever shall 
 be Truly your chum, 
 
 Rowan Dilland." 
 
 Great Cuesar! what does it mean? Rowan can't be mar- 
 ried, or he would have told me. At any'rate, he wouldn't 
 have put this letter into my hands unsealed. It's the 
 most — 
 
 Re-enter Clincher (oxit of breath). 
 Clincher. Stingy Jones evidently couldn't catch his tur- 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 23 
 
 key. I saw her in bis far field, half mile this side of his 
 house. 
 
 Jasper. (Slapping letter into his pocket,) Mr. Clincher, I 
 want your advice. 
 
 Clincher. AVell, tell me what you want it to be. 
 
 Jasper. That letter of Rowan's is infernal nonsense. 
 
 Clincher. That's a bad business, very bad. 
 
 Jasper. I've got to write another for him to find out what 
 it means. 
 
 Clincher. Ahem ! (Aside.) I'll oppose this with my most 
 stolid silence. 
 
 Jasper. I'll tell Fred Stone that Rowan is sick, not able 
 to write himself; has brain fever or is about to have it. 
 How will that do? 
 
 Clincher. (Aside.) I never advise lying. 
 
 Jasper. I'll ask him to answer to me. 
 
 Clincher. Ahem! (Going.) (Turns back when Jasper 
 speaks, and listens admiringly.) 
 
 Jasper. Mr. Clincher, you do not dream how rapid are 
 the strides I'm taking. A little while ago I did not know 
 for certain I was a novelist. Now my skeleton plot is 
 drawn and my model characters are at my mercy. Rowan 
 shall be my hero, with a mystery in his college life ; Martha 
 ray heroine, with two lovers; that gloomy Edward Ballou 
 my misanthropic villain, and Lizzie my wife. Four char- 
 acters and two secrets to start with ! I'll have them raging 
 around me! Come on, Mr. Clincher, (leads him by the arm) 
 and first of all I'll hunt the villain down ! (Both going.) 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 Scene. — Parlor in Mrs. Estill' s house. Sophy discovered 
 busy about the room. Large door in rear. Laivn vieiv 
 beyond. 
 
 Enter Mrs. Estill R. 
 Mrs. Estill. Sophy, run call Mr. Ballou ; there he goes 
 now! (Opening desk and taking out some papers.) Dear 
 old Mr. Clincher ! When we had troubles they were always 
 
24 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 his own, and what a comfort he was to us! That dreadful 
 night during the war, he absolutely saved us ! Now he's 
 in distress, and I'm almost glad of it — to have a chance to 
 repay him. (Handling papers.) 
 
 Enter Edward, M. D., Sophy foUoxving. 
 Edward, can you let the farm take care of itself for a day 
 or two? 
 
 Edward. Yes, if you desire it, Mrs. Estill. 
 
 Mrs. Edill. I want you to work on some accounts. The 
 wheat is all sold, isn't it? 
 
 Edward. The last of it to-day. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. And the hands don't need you to watch them, 
 do they ? 
 
 Edward. Not badly. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Well, Mr. Clincher was here last night, and 
 the dear old soul confided a most distressing discovery to 
 me. Somehow his accounts as Lizzie's guardian are wrong. 
 I told him I would find out what's the matter, and he firmly 
 believes I'm such a manager that I could. You can, can't 
 you? 
 
 Edward. I suppose so. I'll try, anyhow. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. I'm sure you'll do it. And when you get 
 through, Edward, I do so want you to take a little holiday, 
 
 Edward. A holiday would distress me to death. 
 
 iJ/r**. Estill. But I beg you, Edward. You should go out 
 into the world a little, and there's such a good opportunity 
 now. Lizzie's party comes off next week. I'm going my- 
 self, and she wants you to go. 
 
 Edward. You know how I'm about myself. 
 
 ]\frs. Estill. Yes, I know, and it distresses me so that I 
 would take it as a particular favor if you would do as I 
 wish. It requires only a little of the resolution that you 
 make so useful on the farm. People will surely like you 
 Edward, as I do, and as Martha and Agnes and all who 
 really know you do. 
 
 Edward. What is the nature of ^[r. Clincher's trouble? 
 
 Mrs. Estill. (Provoked slightly.) Edward, you must not 
 change the subject in that way with me. I want to tell 
 Lizzie to-day that you will go to her party. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 25 
 
 Edward. Mrs. Estill, I cannot go. I'm only a farm 
 manager. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. You are the best informed farmer in the 
 county, and no man hereabouts is your superior in any re- 
 spect. 
 
 Edward. Well, a farmer is all I care to be. To go 
 amongst strangers, to feel I'm masquerading in false garb 
 as it were, to know that eyes are directed at me — I would 
 think that every body was laughing at me, or, worse still, 
 pitying me ! 
 
 Mrs. Estill. A morbid bashfulness ! You deserve to be 
 pitied and laughed at ! I wish somebody would seize you 
 and drag you out of your shell ! Well, well. {Resuming 
 search avxong the papers.) Here are some of the papers, 
 but the large book is in the dining-room. Come, we'll 
 look at it there. {Exeunt B.) 
 
 Moses appears at M. D. 
 
 Moses. Sophy, hab Mars. Jasper come yet? 
 
 Sophy. Nobody's master hab come. Mister Moses January, 
 cause you ain't got no marster. You ain't no fiel' han' no 
 more. You 'tends er gennelman, an' I's lef ther kitchen 
 fer ter live in ther parlers. I's er lady an' you's er gennel- 
 man. 
 
 Moses. 'Fore goodness, Sophy, I done forgot 'bout dat. 
 {Coming fonvard with great ado of politeness.) Missis Sophy 
 Estill, howdy? 
 
 Sophy. Mister Moses January, good mornin'. 
 
 Moses. Hab yer been spry since las' time ? 
 
 Sophy. Purty toler'ble. Sit down, Mister January. Take 
 ther easy cheer thar. {She sits on sofa, and Moses on chair.) 
 How's you been ? 
 
 3Ioses. Kinder peert. But lemme say somethin', Sophy. 
 Dis here stylushness iz er good thing, but I doan' wanter be 
 settin' way off here 'way frum you- Lemme try haffer dat 
 sofer. (Moves to sofa, Sophy turning her head away, with exag- 
 gerated affectation of modesty.) Looky' here, Sophy, you ain't- 
 er feared ur me, iz yer? 'Cause thar ain't no gal liviu' 
 what I lubs like I does you ! 
 
 Jaspiir appears M. D. aiid stands back. 
 
 Sophy. Go 'way ! You hab said dat too of 'en. You ain't 
 
26 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 no stylish gennelmau at all ! Gennelmeu ain't all ther time 
 savin' love an' kissiu'. 
 
 Jasper. (Aside.) Love and kissing! Here's the primitive 
 article ! 
 
 Moses. I ain't gone an' kissed you yet. 
 
 Sophy. You 's gwine tu. You can't fool me. (Closes puts 
 his arm around her.) I knows when ther b'ar iz er cliraiu' 
 up ther tree, an' whut fur. 
 
 Moses. I ain't no b'ar climin' up no tree.' 
 
 Sophy. Yes, yer iz. Doan' I seeyo' arm roun* it ! You 's 
 climin' fur honey. 
 
 Moses. Dat's er fac' — no use 'sputin' 'bout it. 
 
 So])hrf. \\'ell, vou j is look out! I 's wors'en bees when 
 I 's nuid ! 
 
 Moses. I doan' keer, no more'n er b'ar does. I 's got er 
 sweet toof an' er thick hide. (Dravs her face around and is 
 about to kiss her. ) 
 
 Jasper. Go it, Moses ! (In alarm they attempt to rise, but 
 Jasper puts his hands on their heads and holds them dou'n.) 
 Keep your seats ! Don't be afraid of me ! I want things 
 to go on without regard to my presence. Keep your seats, 
 I tell you ! Now, Moses, tell me how you came to kiss Sojihy 
 the first time. 
 
 Moses. 'Fore goodness, Mars Jasper, I doan' know ! 
 
 Jasper. Do you, Sophy? 
 
 Sophy. I doan' know. Mars Jasper. Mosedidit; I didu'. 
 I doan' care fur kissin'. 'Taint 's])ectable. 
 
 Jasper. Yes, it is. The world is full of it. It's the mys- 
 terious manifestation of all the better human impulses, and 
 it is worthy of profound respect and study. It's the climax 
 of every novel, and it is always true to nature. I've made 
 a study of it. (Takes out his uote-book.) 
 
 Sojihy. Lorsy mercy ! I didn' know all dat, Mars Jasper. 
 
 Jasper. Moses, how many times have you kissed Sophy? 
 
 Mos,es. She wouldn' 'low me to tell. 
 
 Sophy. I doan' keer. Mars Jasper's said it's 'spectable. 
 
 Moses. More'n er hundred times, I 'spec'. (Jasper notes 
 
 Sophy. Lorsy mercy ! Mars Jasper, dat nigger iz hurtin 
 my feelins' ! 'Taint ten times ! (Jasper notes it.) 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 27 
 
 Jasper. How long since y<>u began it? 
 
 Moses. Las' night, wuzn' it, Sophy? (Jasper notes it.) 
 
 Jasper. Well, keep it up whenever I'm around, and I'll 
 tell you what I'll do for you. Moses, I'll give you this suit 
 I've got on and the black one. 
 
 Moses. I 's done sot my heart on dem close, Mars Jasper. 
 
 Jasper. And, Sophy, you shall have a new dress. All 
 you've got to do is to go on kissing a hundred times a 
 day. 
 
 Sophy. But s'posin' Missis wuz ter ketch us? 
 
 Jasper. Don't mind her or anybody else. 
 
 Moses. Golly ! She'd git awful mad ! 
 
 Jasper. So much the better if you stir her up! {Going.) 
 Remember, go right ahead as if I hadn't said a word. {Exit 
 Jaspjer M. D.) 
 
 Moses. {After a patise.) I doan' feel like kissin' now, does 
 you? 
 
 Sophy. Mars Jasper done sp'iled it. 
 
 Moses. But dem clo's'll come pow'ful cheap ! 
 
 Sophy. Dat's mighty true. 
 
 Moses. Duz you recomember der fust time what we 
 kissed ? 
 
 Sop)hy. Las' night? Course I does ! Dis am ther very 
 room. I wuz sittin' here, an' you wuz on dat cheer, an' you 
 moved tu whar you iz now. My head wuz turned — dis 
 way. 
 
 Moses. Den I jis said " Sophy." 
 
 Sojjhy. An' you skeered me. 'deed you did, 'cause you sed 
 it so sof'. But I nebber turnt my face yo' way. I jis said 
 " Moses," sorter chokin'. 
 
 Moses. An' when you said " Moses " dat time I foun' out 
 my real name. I nebber said nuffin' though. I couldn'. 
 I jis edged up er little, didn' I ? {Edging closer to her.) 
 
 Sophy. I nebber said nuffin', neether. 
 
 Moses. Den I jis put my arm 'long top uv ther sofa, dis 
 way. 
 
 Sophy. But I kuowed it wuz thar. 
 
 Moses. 'Deed you did, honey ! An' den what did I jis 
 say ? 
 
 Mrs. Estill appears R. D. 
 
28 A LIVE NOVET>. 
 
 Mo,<^es. f I said "Oh, Sophy !" .^, r .^ ?• ^ 
 
 Sophy. \ I said " Oh, Mises ! " ^ ^''^^ ^^'^ «^"^'' '" '^^'•^'•^ 
 iWr.9. Estill. Sophy! {They rise hastily.) What do you 
 mean ? And you, Moses, how dare you ! 
 
 Sophy. 'Fore goodness. Missis Estill, Mars Jasper tole us 
 
 we nius 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Told you you must ! 
 
 Moses. 'Deed he did. Missis Estill! He tole us we raus' 
 kiss er hundred times er day ! 
 
 Mrs. EMill. Sophy, go to the kitchen at once! Miranda, 
 the cook, shall have you again. 
 
 Sophy. Please, ma'm, jNIissis Estill, doan' sen' me to 
 Mirandy ! 
 
 Mrs. Exlill. Go ! {Exit Sophy, R., weeping.) Moses, leave 
 the place! {E.rit Moses.) {They reappear M. D. and have 
 their kiss.)* What impudence ! I suppose they told the 
 truth about Jasper, he's such a dear boy at his pranks! 
 {Lools among papers.) 
 
 Enter Edward, R. D., carrying a large book. 
 Here's the other paper, Edward. (He takes it and turns to 
 leave the room.) Don't go, Edward ; I want to talk with you. 
 
 Edirard. (Aside.) Does she know ? 
 
 Enter 3Iartha D. L. (Bans to Mrs. Estill.) 
 
 Martha. Dear mother, you look so well ! Good morning, 
 Edward. Oh, mother, there's such a surprise for you ! Here 
 comes Rowan. 
 
 Enter Rowan D. L. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Why, so it is! Rowan (shaking hands), I would 
 hardly have known you ! 
 
 Boivan. But I'm the same boy, Mrs. Estill. 
 
 3Irs. Estill. I hope so ; but not altogether the same, for 
 you are a man ! Jasper is the last boy left in my little world. 
 He'll never be anything else to me it I live to be a hundred. 
 (Edward start.^ to go.) You know Edward, here, don't you. 
 Rowan. No ; you went away before he came. Edward, this 
 is Rowan Dillaud. You've heard of us speak of him often. 
 
 * Hereafter during this act Moses and So|ih3' should a])|)ear at a 
 few availahle opportunities to carry on their kissin^. T)ie sound 
 of kissing from witliout might be heard once or twice witli fiu)tiy 
 effect. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 29 
 
 (Rowan and Edward shake hands, Edward showing emhar- 
 rasxmenf.) Well, Rowan, you've been through college, aud 
 have seen the world, and now I suppose you're ready to 
 settle down. Have you seen Mr. Clincher? 
 
 JRoivan. About the very first. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Of course. Well, what'll you be? Did he 
 approve of your plans ? 
 
 Rowan. 1 didn't ask. His advice to Jasper scared me 
 oflT. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. What was it ? 
 
 Rowan. He advised him to do — simply nothing. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. That was right! Ha! ha! He knew he 
 wouldn't do anything else half so well. Nothing means 
 mischief, and I have reason to know Jasper is already busy. 
 {With enthusiasm.) Jasper is a great boy, very much like 
 his father — my dead brother, John. He turned out a 
 congressman and a general, and died at the front. Like 
 Jasper, he was full of folly when a boy ; but his folly was 
 brimful of ideas. Jasper runs after rainbows now, and he 
 doesn't catch them ; but he's getting exercise and expe- 
 rience. Mr. Clincher knows him. But here I am, talking 
 away about Jasper and neglecting you ! {During this speech 
 Martha arranges leaves, etc., on table, and Edivard moves to- 
 wards 31. D., j)lainly to escape.) 
 
 Enter Lizzie, M. D. 
 
 Lizzie. ( Taking Edivard by sleeve and leading him back 
 embarrassed.) No you don't, Mr. Edward ! You shan't avoid 
 your fellow-creatures any longer. I, for one, won't stand 
 it! Society has some capital in you, and it shall lie idle no 
 longer! 
 
 Mrs. Estill. {With sympathy.) Bless the dear girl ! 
 
 Edivard. {Shrinking, but forcing a senile.) Really, Miss 
 Machen, you — you flatter me. 
 
 Lizzie. Don't call me Miss Machen ! You are one of my 
 "Lizzie" friends. I don't flatter you — not a bit! I accuse 
 you ! I want you to promise to come to my party. Mrs. 
 Estill is coming. Oh, you shall have just your own sort of 
 a time. Come now, promise me, won't you? 
 
 Edward. Really, Miss Lizzie, really — I can't stay here — 
 
30 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Lizzie. {Pitying hl)n.) But remember the promise, when 
 you come back, [Releases him.) I must have it ! (Aside.) I 
 sufier with him ! {Edward moves toivards M. D.) 
 
 Elder Jasper, M. D. 
 
 Jasper. Ah! ha! Mr. BaHou ! Just the man ! (Takes 
 him hij the hand and drags him back.) Happy to find you ! 
 I have something to tell you. {Aside.) I'll do it gently — 
 remotely. 
 
 Edward. ( With some spirit.) Let me go, sir! 
 
 Ja-iper. Let you go? Oh ! you mean let go. Certainly. 
 But if you try to run away, I'll catch you and bring you 
 back. Wait, just a moment. My dear Aunt Mary, you're 
 looking so well to-day. (Kisses her, and returns to Ed- 
 ward.) Mr. Edward, I had the queerest dream just now 
 about you! Do you want to hear it, Aunt Mary? And 
 you, Martha? Lizzie? Rowan? Mr. Edward? (Enter 
 Clincher, M. D.) and you, Mr. Clincher? I had a dream, 
 and the way it has been verified is remarkable. You all 
 want to hear it? Of course you do ! 
 
 Clincher. 
 Jasper. 
 Edward. Lizzie. Agnes. 
 
 Rowan. Mrs. Estill. 
 
 Martha. 
 
 Well ; Martha, Lizzie, and Rowan abandoned me all 
 alone, out in the woods-pasture just now, and — I wept. 
 
 Lizzie. There, now ; you begin with a falsehood. You 
 have never cried in your life. 
 
 Jasper. {Absorbed and .^peaking sloxdy.) I wept scalding 
 tears, for I felt sure I had just hurt Lizzie's feelings, as she 
 does not mind hurting mine, and my heart was sad. In my 
 agony I threw myself u|)on the deep soft grass, and, like a 
 little child, cried myself to sleep. 
 
 And then I had a dream. I dreamt I saw a shadow on 
 the grass. There it was, moving slowly to and fro — thus — 
 and quivering. And every now and then reaching out its 
 dark, crooked arms slowly — thus; and then drawing them 
 into itself again. Oh ! it was so gloomy black I thought I 
 was blind when I looked at it. 
 
 Presently I saw a sunbeam playing upon the grass at a 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 31 
 
 little distance. Oh ! it was brilliant with all the hues of 
 the rainbow; and whatever it touched became liiie itself. 
 
 Then I saw the shadow .reach out its arms for the sun- 
 beam and tremble with love, and I trembled with fear, for 
 in the clasp of a shadow a sunbeam dies. Gaily the sun- 
 beam tipped along nearer to the shadow — nearer — nearer 
 — nearer. I shut my eyes. 
 
 When I looked again, they were very close to each other 
 — but apart. The shadow was heaving with passion. The 
 sunbeam was pouring the beauties of its nature into a dew- 
 drop on the grass, which I dreamed was a tear it had drop- 
 ped out of pity. And there was a bit of paper under the 
 tear, and it was the shadow's declaration of love. 
 
 As I gazed the sunbeam became a bright, fair maiden — 
 it was you, Martha ! and the shadow became a man — it was 
 you, Mr. Edward ! and then I woke and found this note 
 {draiving it), which was sure enough a declaration of love ; 
 I'll read it. 
 
 Edivard. (Indignant.) Sir ! (Seizes the note.) You shall 
 answer for this. (Tries to say more, but is too much distressed.) 
 (E.vit M. D.) 
 
 Martha. (Sobbing.) Shame on you, Jasper ! (Exit R. D.) 
 
 Lizzie. I despise you ! {Exit R. D.) ■ 
 
 Rowan. You've been a brute all day ! (Exit M. D.) 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Poor Edward ! Jasper, I'll ask you to explain 
 this presently. (Exit L. D.) 
 
 Jasper. ( With great concern.) Mr. Clincher, what does all 
 this mean ? 
 
 Clincher. (In a matter-of-fact ivay.) It means, boy, you 
 have stirred them up. But (tvith apprehension ) you have done 
 it thoroughly, boy, very thoroughly — 'most too thoroughly. 
 
 Jasper. I tried to do it gently. 
 
 Clincher. But you didn't do it gently ; you did it delib- 
 erately, in cold blood. However, boy, you did your best, 
 and I'll see that it's all right. To fail to set things all 
 right is a thing I seldom do. I tell you, boy, you settled 
 that Mr. Edward ; you pulverized his love. 
 
 Jasper. Yes, but I treated him shamefully. 
 
 Agnes. (Coming forward to Jasper ^fiercely.) And he 
 ought to hate you ! I do. He shall have his revenge or I 
 will. (Exit M. D.) 
 
32 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jasper. (In dismay.) Mr. Clincher, I have made a terri- 
 ble mistake somehow. I have won everybody's hate. 
 
 Clincher. {At a loss to comfort him.) Hate? 
 
 Jasper. Yes, hate. 
 
 Clincher. Well, after all, boy, there's a cheerful view to 
 be taken of hate. Hate is one of the very boldest attitudes 
 in a novel ; your true novelist feeds on shame and glories 
 in hate. 
 
 Jasper. But your true novelist doesn't have all his char- 
 acters hating himself. Mr. Clincher, please do not mention 
 that word novel to me again. {Re-enter Rowan M. D.) [To 
 Rowan, reproachfully.) And even you said shame on me. 
 
 Rowan. I did indeed, and I came to repeat it. 
 
 Jasper. You have no right to do so; it was all done for 
 your benefit. 
 
 Roivan. jNIy benefit! and how, pray tell me? 
 
 Jasper. To put down your rival for Martha's love. 
 
 Rowan. Who said I had such aspirations? 
 
 Jasper. Yourself. 
 
 Rowan. Is it possible I said so much, and to you ? I take 
 it for granted you have repeated me to her. 
 
 Jasper. " For granted I"' well no, not yet. 
 
 Rowan. (Anf/rily.) I give you leave; make the most of 
 it. 'Tis your last chance, for I'm quit of you from this on. 
 (Exit M. D.) 
 
 Jasper. (As Roivan goes.) Now he is mad. 
 
 Clincher. Be a philosopher, boy, like myself; you've got 
 to make people miserable in order to get any credit for 
 making them happy again. That's the way novelists do. 
 Don't allow yourself to be put out by a little trouble like 
 this. It will all be over in a few weeks. 
 
 Jasper. But I want it over at once ; why Lizzie is angry 
 enough to refuse to marry me. 
 
 Clincher. It will only be a short postponement. 
 
 Jasper. Postponement? 
 
 Clincher. Yes, that's all. Why, Jasper, boy, what is 
 such a short delay compared to the loss of a lifetime's repu- 
 tation ? 
 
 Jasper. I'm losing both reputation and Lizzie. 
 
 Clincher. But remember what I and Bluegrass are gain- 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 33 
 
 Jasper. What? 
 
 Clincher. Why — your novel. 
 
 Jasper. Blast the uovel. 
 
 (Enter Martha B. D.) 
 
 Martha. (Starting back from Jasper.) I hoped you had 
 gone. 
 
 Jasper. Why did you hope that, Martha? 
 
 Martha. Because after your conduct just now you should 
 no longer remain here. (Exit R.) 
 
 Jasper. (In great distress.) Did you hear tliat, sir ? 
 
 (Enter Lizzie M. D.) 
 (He hastens to her.) My dear, darling Lizzie ! 
 
 Lizzie. Stand back, Jasper! I came to say the very last 
 words I shall ever speak to you. 
 
 Jasper. Why, Lizzie — 
 
 Lizzie. Not one word ! you stole that note — 
 
 Jasper. I swear I found it. 
 
 Lizzie. You stole that note and used it to wound, deeply 
 wound the feelings of one who had never harmed you or 
 any person in the world. You nearly broke Martha's 
 heart. You disgraced yourself and me, and — our — engage- 
 ment is ended. ( Going.) 
 
 Jasper. Lizzie, you do not know what you are saying. 
 
 Lizzie. (Almost breaking down.) Hereafter you'll be a 
 stranger to me. (Exit M. D.) 
 
 Jasper. Oh, mercy, what does she mean? Did you hear 
 her, Mr. Clincher? Explain it, explain it, you confounded 
 old wise — oh, Mr. Clincher, please tell me, is she in earn- 
 est? 
 
 Clincher. (Aside.) This is what I wanted, but it's too bad 
 — too bad. 
 
 Jasper. Tell me, is she in earnest? 
 
 Clincher. Of course she's in earnest, boy, but — it's only 
 for a little while — only 'till after the races. 
 
 Jasper. What have the races got to do with it? 
 
 Clincher. Listen to me, boy. She will love you all the 
 more for this quarrel after everything is settled, and I'll see 
 to that Jasper, boy, depend on me. 
 
 Jasper. I'll go to her at once. 
 
 Clincher. She is in no humor to hear you now. 
 
34 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jasper. Then I'll write to her. 
 
 Clincher. You should leave her alone about three weeks. 
 
 Jasper. I'm to marry her in two. 
 
 CUncher. Perhaps, boy, perhaps. Anyhow, you will 
 marry her. Leave that to me. The first thing to do is to 
 set yourself right with Rowan and Edward. 
 
 Jasper. I'll write to Mr. Edward at once, begging his 
 pardon abjectly, and I'll mail Rowan's letter for the next 
 train. {Taking a paper from his pocket.) Here it is. (Looks 
 at it) Great heavens, ]ilr. Clincher ! (Reads) "Dear Mar- 
 tha : No doubt my — " It is Mr. Edward's love note ! I 
 thought he snatched it fr.Mn me! (Nei'vowdy looks through 
 papers from his pocket.) Mr. Clincher, the ruin is complete! 
 
 Clincher. What's the matter now? 
 
 Jasper. Nothing can save me I That man has got Rowan's 
 letter to that woman Stella, whoever she is. 
 
 Clincher. Miserable boy, what have you done! 
 
 Jasper. Tell me, what can I do? 
 
 Clincher. Calm yourself; leave it all to me, boy. I'll 
 see Mr. Edward and get Rowan's letter back. Perhaps he 
 hasn't even looked at it yet. 
 
 Jasper. And what shall I do? 
 
 Clincher. Nothing. 
 
 Jasper. But I must do something. 
 
 Clincher. Then write the novel — or, better still, gradually 
 soften Lizzie. 
 
 Jasper. How can I do it? 
 
 Clincher. Keep away from her. 
 
 Jasper. Nothing else? 
 
 Clincher. Look sorrowful, cast down, poetical — 
 
 Jasper. I'm all that without an eflfbrt. 
 Enter Edward M. D. (Agnes folloivs and statids back.) 
 
 Clincher. (Going up to Edward.) ]Mr. Edward, I wish to 
 speak with you. 
 
 Edward. Yes, sir; about those accounts, I suppose. 
 
 Clincher. (In dismay.) What accounts ? 
 
 Edward. The guardianship accounts. 
 
 Clincher. But — what do you know about them, man ? 
 
 Edward. Not a great deal yet. So far, I have had only 
 a few minutes to give them. At the first glance, however, 
 there was such a patent error — 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 35 
 
 Clincher. [Stopping him.) Never raiud the accounts, Mr. 
 Edward, boy. I wanted to ask you about — let's see — 
 about a letter that you got into your hands by mistake just 
 now. 
 
 Edward. {Indignantly, but quietly.') I have a letter which 
 got out of my hands by mistake or treachery. I don't know 
 how it got into the hands ot" that mischief-maker there. 
 {Pointing at Jasj^er.') 
 
 Clincher. You are mistaken. Look at the letter you 
 have. {Edward does so, with surprise.) I ask you to return 
 it to rae. 
 
 Edward. May I ask why ? 
 
 Clincher. It is a matter of deep concern. 
 
 Jasper. {Going tip to Edward briskly.) He speaks for me. 
 
 Edward. {To Jasper.) Do you dare to speak to me? I 
 do not understand all this ! {To both.) If you mean to drag 
 me into ridicule again, I say to you, take care ! I will not 
 cringe and help to shame myself as I did just now. {To 
 Jasper.) Do you want this letter ? You stole the one I 
 wrote and made a villainous use of it against me. I'll keep 
 this one. {E.dt L. D.) 
 
 Jasper. {Following.) Mr. Edward ! {Agnes steps before 
 him.) 
 
 Agnes. No! you shall not persecute him any further; if 
 there is anything in that letter to harm you, you may dread 
 it. {E.vit L. D.) 
 
 Jasper. He's gone! and the letter with him! {Pacing 
 stage distractedly.) 
 
 Clincher. {Also pacing.) The miserable boj' has got me 
 mixed up with all this rumpus. 
 
 Jasper. What can I do? (Pacing.) 
 
 Clincher. Nothing, nothing, nothing. {Stop-'^.) Jasper, 
 boy, you wring a most painful confession from me ; you are 
 a fool ! {Pacing.) 
 
 Jasper. I know it; that's nothing wise to say. It's 
 merely another of your profound yeses to the inevitable. 
 (Pacing.) 
 
 Clincher. Instead of gently stirring people up, you have 
 tampered with their very lives, not secretly and remotely, 
 but openly and offensively, boy. 
 
36 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Jasper. You advised me. 
 
 Clincher. But I told you to keep out of their clutches. 
 Now, you are the ridiculous villain all tangled up in your 
 own plot. Your alleged characters are all your deadly 
 enemies — and mine too. 
 
 Jasper. Tell me how to set them right. (Pacing.) 
 
 Clincher. Set them right I Do you think, hoy, they are 
 the dead creations of a book to be set about as you please. 
 Leave them alone, boy. Go to your room, lock yourself in 
 and — write up your materials! You've got plenty now. 
 Make me the comical old fool I (Pacing.) 
 
 Jasper. Mr. Clincher, you laugh at me ! (Pacing. ) 
 
 Clincher. Laugh at you I Why, boy, I'm a thousand 
 times worse involved than you are ! (Pacing.) 
 
 Enter Broad M. D. (Stops back on seeing Jasper and 
 Clincher pacing. Sophi/ and Moses appear, M. D., 
 read I I to kiss.) 
 Even Fire Fly can't save me now I 
 
 Jaxjier. I will get that letter back ! I'll hunt that fellow 
 up and choke him till he gives it to me! (Starts off; runs 
 into Broad.) 
 
 Broad. ( Calmly.) What's the matter, young man ? 
 
 Ja.^per. (Startled.) Who are you? Oh, I know you. 
 What do you want here ? 
 
 Broad. My name is Broad, and I am here on my own 
 business, wherein I am a rather important character. 
 
 Jasper. Character! I reject you, sir? (Going towards 
 M. D. Tosses Sophij and Moses apart.) Clear out of this, 
 you apes ! Sophy, where's your master Edward? Where 
 is he? Moses, go and find him instantly! (E.vit M. D.) 
 
 Enter Mrs. Estill. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. ( Calling off.) You, Sophy ! Come back here 
 instantly ! Go back to the kitchen I Oh, I beg your pardon, 
 Mr. Broad, but those servants are acting unaccountably. 
 lu fact, Mr. Broad, the whole house is upset ! Mr. Clincher, 
 what does it all mean ? Didn't some one say Edward is in 
 love with my daughter? 
 
 Clincher. ( Compoxing himself.) Jasper seemed to have 
 some such notion ; but he'd say anything, he's such a harum- 
 scarum boy. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 37 
 
 Mrs. Esfi/I. Where is he? 
 
 Clincher. I don't know. I hope he's gone off quietly to 
 mope. 
 
 3Irs. Estill. To mope? 
 
 Clincher. Yes, to mope like a monkey. 
 
 Broad. To study out mischief, I suppose? 
 
 Clincher. Yes, to mope like a monkey studying out mis- 
 chief. He's been trying outrageous impossibilities, and he 
 deserves to suffer. He reminds me of that pathetic story 
 of the little boy and the apples. Did you ever hear it? 
 No ? Well those apples were on the other side of a high 
 paling fence with spikes on top, and that particular boy 
 couldn't climb such a fence. But he was a very smart boy, 
 and he thought he could reason out a way to get over that 
 fence without climbing it. So he started his little mind, 
 and he reasoned that there was no reason why he shouldn't 
 get at the apples by lifting himself over that fence by his 
 boot-straps. So he stooped down, thus {suiting action to 
 word and speaking slowly wHh increasing strain), and took 
 hold, and he tugged and he tugged at those boot-straps ; 
 but the harder he lifted the tighter his feet held the earth 
 — still he tugged ; and he tugged till his face, which was 
 red, grew blue; still he tugged; and his prospects grew 
 blue also — still he tugged ; and his blue eyes grew also — 
 still he tugged ; and his right blue eye popped through the 
 fence and flew to its apple — still he tugged ; and his left 
 blue eye popped through the fence and flew to its apple — 
 still he tugged ; and the blue-eyed apples were gazing at him 
 — still he tugged ; and he tugged, and he tugged till he 
 broke his — 
 
 Broad. Boot-straps ? 
 
 Clincher. — till he broke his — 
 
 Broad. Suspenders ? 
 
 Clincher. — till he broke his heart — then he ceased to 
 tug. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Is that all ? Didn't he get the apples? 
 
 Clincher. No. He went off and moped like a monkey. 
 Isn't that a sad story, Mr. Broad ? 
 
 Broad. It might have been sadder. 
 
 Clincher. How ? 
 
38 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Broad. Were the apples green ? 
 
 Clincher. Ah ! Mr. Broad, you jest on a seriou.s subject. 
 
 Broad. I never jest on any subject. 
 
 Clincher. There is one dearer by far to Jasper than 
 apples to a little boy. I mean Lizzie, iNIrs. Estill. And 
 there i.s a high fence and miserable remoteness between 
 them. 
 
 Broad. Are you in earnest? 
 
 Clincher. In dead earnest. 
 
 Mr.i. Estill. Surely Jasper and Lizzie have not quarreled ? 
 
 Clincher. She has broken off their engagement. 
 
 Mrs. EMll. What could have possessed her to do such a 
 thing ? 
 
 Clincher. His ridicule of INIr. Edward, just now. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. It was cruel ; but it is the only way to bring 
 Edward out. I was disjiosed to give Jasper credit for it. 
 Lizzie thought to draw Edward out by begging him to go 
 to her party ; she pities him — a great mistake. 
 
 Clincher. Yes; a great mistake. Pity melts the metal in 
 a man, and so runs his character deeper into ruts and 
 crevices; but cruelty, injustice, ridicule, are positive forces 
 that batter and hammer him into steel that shines and cuts 
 in the world. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Very true, ]Mr. Clincher. You'll make up 
 the quarrel between Lizzie and Jasper — won't you? 
 
 Clincher. I've pledged myself to do it. 
 
 Broad. (Aside.) Not if I can help it. (Aloud.) Mr. 
 Clincher, we had better begin on those accounts. 
 
 Mrs. Estill. But Edward has them. 
 
 Clincher. {Joi/fulli/.) Did you give them to Mr. Edward? 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Of course ; he's an expert bookkeeper and 
 perfectly discreet. 
 
 Clincher. (Aside.) Then I'm safe. Fire Fly, the track 
 is clear ! 
 
 Enter Sophy, L. D. 
 
 Sophi/. Missis Estill, dinner am on. 
 
 Clincher. Come, Mr. Broad, come dine with us. Allow 
 me, Mrs. Estill. (E.vuent R. D.) 
 
 Enter Edward and Agnes, L. D. (They start across.) 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 39 
 
 Edward. I cannot go where they are. They will laugh 
 at me. 
 
 Agnes. They dare not! 
 
 Edward. Agnes, in all the world you are the only being 
 I dare confide in. I thought INIartha so good and so noble 
 — is it a marvel that she won even me to love her? 
 
 Agne'<. (Aside.) How blind of him to say this to me! 
 
 Edward. They think it is absurd. I — / in love ! It is 
 absurd ! I could laugh at myself! Why, Love is represented 
 as a beautiful, rosy-cheeked boy that flies from heart to 
 heart with messages of joy and hope. How could my joyless, 
 hopeless heart send forth such a messenger! Mine was a 
 sad child, full of emotion, trembling out in the world ; a lone 
 little trespasser. 
 
 Agnes. (Aside.) Sad, indeed ; but not lone. 
 
 Edward. T hoped ; rather, I dreamed, that Martha 
 would send it back, with a glow upon its cheek caught 
 from her smile. But she laughed at it ! She took it to 
 others for their amusement! I see — I .see — I have no 
 right to love. (CoKts himself into a chair with his head on a 
 table.) 
 
 Enter Martha, R. D. (She crosses to Edward, as Agnes 
 turns away from him despairingly. Seeing Martha's 
 intention, Agnes jealously seizes her arm.) 
 
 Martha. (To Agnes.) What do you mean? 
 
 Agnes. (Fiercely at first.) I mean that he loves you and 
 you do not love him! (Then pleadingly.) Forgive me, 
 Martha, but do not speak to him now ! 
 
 Martha. Agnes, I know your secret. He shall know the 
 truth from me. I pity him — that's all. Stay and hear me. 
 (Going close to Edward.) Edward. 
 
 Edward. (Starting tip.) Martha ! 
 
 Martha. Yes, Edward. I came to say Jasper's conduct 
 distressed me as it wounded you. 
 
 Edward. And yet you caused it. 
 
 Martha. You are unjust. I do not know how he got 
 your note. 
 
 Edward. {Hopefully.) Then you did not help to ridicule 
 my love ? 
 
 Martha. Oh, no! no! 
 
40 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Edward.- And you respect it? 
 
 Martha. Yes, I respect it deeply. 
 
 Edward. (Seizex her hand.) Martha, your kindness has 
 filled me with hope ! {She withdraws a little. ) Do not utterly 
 cast me down again. 
 
 Martha. I came here to speak frankly, Edward, as I 
 should have done yesterday when I got your note. I can 
 never love you as you ask. Another loves you as I never 
 could. 
 
 Edward. Martha, what do you mean ? 
 
 Martha. Agnes loves you. 
 
 Agnes. (With deep reproach.) Oh, Martha! Martha! 
 {Coming forward.') You shall not talk so! 
 
 Martha. Ague?, I know I am right. Edward, look where 
 you will in your life here, there you'll find Agnes, with her 
 sympathy and her help. Look where you will in your heart, 
 her loving deeds have found a home there. Oh, you have 
 been doubly wrong! Don't you see it so, yourself? 
 
 Edward. Martha — 
 
 Martha. Edward, dD not speak yet! You do not know 
 your heart. 
 
 Enter Jasper, M. D. (Haggard.') 
 
 Jasper. ( To Edtvard^) I've found you at last, have I ? 
 (Seeing Martha's (//W;r>-.»-. ) Martha, what has he said to you ? 
 It is false ! He stole that letter of Rowan's and wants to 
 make you hate him! (To Edward.) Here, sir! Are you 
 going to return that letter, or must I take it from you? {To 
 Agnex.) You've put him up to this! 
 
 Edward. (Incensed.) You impudent wretch ! 
 
 Jaxper. Will you give me that letter? 
 
 Edward. No! 
 
 Jasper. Then I'll take it! {Rushing upon him. Agnes 
 screams and throtvs herself on Jasper. ) 
 
 Martha. {Running to door R.) Mother! Rowan! Mr. 
 Clincher ! 
 
 Enter all R. D. and M. D. 
 
 Martha. Oh, do come! Jasper is mad ! Oh, hold him. 
 (Roivan, Broad and Clincher hold him. He struggles.) 
 
 Ja.?per. (In broken sentences.) That man — Edward there 
 — has got Rowan's letter — let me go — you don't understand 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 41. 
 
 — Mr. Clincher will tell you so — he told me — to write a 
 novel — make him give up the letter — let me go ! {He is 
 forced back to M. D., struggling and calling out.) 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 Scene. — Lawn in front of house; the latter is brilliantly 
 lighted up. Dance-music within. Rustic settee R. C, behind 
 which is a clump of bushes. Moses and Sophy .discovered on 
 the settee, woe-begone, and kissing and counting languidly. 
 
 Sophy. Iz you tired, Moses? 
 
 Moses. No; I ain't tired as you iz. {Kissing her gingerly.') 
 Dat am eighty times ter day. 
 
 Sophy. An' dis one (kissing him same way) am ninety. 
 
 Moses. You iz countin' wrong, honey — you knows yer iz. 
 
 Sophy. I ain't cheatin' 'tall. What number iz it? 
 
 Moses. I 'spec's it's ninety-fo' (Kisses her and yawns.) Dat 
 wuz ninety-eight. 
 
 Sophy. ( Yaivns also.) An' — dis'n — am — (>S7ie falls off 
 asleep. ) 
 
 Moses. (Purses his lips as if to kiss — yawns — purses his lips 
 loearily again, and falls asleep also.) 
 
 Enter Jasper R. 1 E. (Dejected.') 
 
 Jasper. (Seeing Moses and Sophy.) Poor things, let them 
 rest. I believe I've actually made them miserable too. 
 (Looks into house.) 
 
 Enter Clincher R. .3 E. 
 
 Clincher. Why, Jasper, boy, what are you doing here ? 
 Lizzie forbade it. 
 
 Jasper. Yes, if she were in heaven, and I were to die, all 
 to join her, she would keep me out. But I tell you I was 
 bound to come here, if only to peep ! I have groaned and 
 moaned by myself till I am desperate. 
 
 Clincher. Have you worked any on the novel ? 
 
 Jasper, (With a reproachfid smile.) No — no. But occa- 
 
42 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 sionally I have amused myself by trying to write, not a 
 novel, but anything. And, as I chased thought after 
 thought to the loveliest places I could imagine, I came to 
 admire myself, and then to love myself — love was what I 
 needed I But that sort of self-comforting doesn't last one. 
 The writing it requires — I mean the setting down of letters, 
 words and sentences — is tedious labor, very like plowing; 
 and, after all, when T got the black and white before me, it 
 seen)ed only black and white — the glow was gone for me, 
 and everybody doubtless. If I had the power to j^roject 
 my thoughts hot and gleaming into the open-mouthed won- 
 der of the wide-eyed millions, so to say, I'd doit; but what's 
 the use of pursuing an idea away up yonder to find that in 
 picking up your pen away down here you've let it escape! 
 Literature consists of only the thoughts with clipped wings 
 — the birds that can't fly again. I'm certain of one thing 
 anyhow ; I'll never try to write another line ; I'm tired and 
 sad — I want Lizzie. 
 
 Clincher. Does she give you no hope? 
 
 Jasper. She won't even look at me. 
 
 Clincher. And your cousin Martha? 
 
 Jasper. She flies from me. I cornered her once, and she 
 flew at me. 
 
 Clincher. Has that man Edward told her about Rowan's 
 letter? 
 
 Jasper. No; I think not. She avoids him, and Rowan 
 too. I suspect Agnes has made her cautious about Rowan. 
 But why are you here, Mr. Clinchei? 
 
 Clincher. To speak to Lizzie in your behalf, boy. That 
 done, I'll go try to get Rowan's letter back from that man 
 who has it. But come, I hear a carriage on the pike. 
 {They retire.^ (Mo.^es becomes restless, makes an exclamation, 
 and awakens as from a nightmare.) 
 
 J/o.'-r.s-. {RnJihing his eyes.) Golly, I wuz scared! I 
 dreamed whut I wus drownin' in raerlasses liker big black 
 fly, an', golly, how I buzzed tryin' ter git loose ! (Buzzing.) 
 
 Sophy. (Slapping as if at a fly, and awakening.) Git ou' 
 way from here! (Fully awake.) I dreamed whut a wasp 
 wuz tryin ter sting my mouf ! 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. AS 
 
 Moses. Ef flat iz tlier way what yer dreams 'bout my 
 kissin', I 's done ; yon hear me! 
 
 Sophy. I recken yer iz done ! I aiut gwine ter 'low no 
 more. 
 
 Hoses. You 's done parulized my lips, an' I could n' ef I 
 wanted. 
 
 Sophy. My lips am blisters ! 'sides, you ain't han'sum no 
 more. 
 
 Moses. Dat's what I jes 'lowed tu myself 'bout you. 
 
 Sophy. Den doan' look at me no more ! {They rise and 
 quarrel.) 
 
 Moses. I ain't er lookin' ; my eyes could u' stan' it ! 
 
 Sophy. Doan' cum hangin' roun' me no more, neither ! 
 
 Moses. Doan' you be feared ! 'Scuse dis darkey ! Good- 
 bye, honey ! 
 
 Sophy. Good-bye yo'self! ( They stand apart — back.) 
 
 He-enter Clincher. 
 
 Clincher. (Starts into house ; then pauses.) No. Twenty 
 years ago I used to go to dances, and skip a night's rest as 
 these young folks are going to do; hut now (surveys his 
 clothing), these won't do, and, Mr. Clincher, until Fire Fly 
 wins and you set Jasper right, you won't do. ( To Sophy.) 
 Go in and tell 'Lazjaq I want to see her. (Exit Sophy.) 
 Enter Lawyer Broad. (In evening dress.) 
 
 Broad. Ah, Mr. Clincher, you area man of taste, — how 
 do I appear ? 
 
 Clincher. Very well indeed. Lawyer Broad. 
 
 Broad. I flatter myself that when I relax a little from 
 the stated calm of my usual deportment, I am not an 
 unattractive personage. (Makes an awkward dance move- 
 ment.) 
 
 Clincher. Are you actually going to dance? 
 
 Broad. (Serious.) I am ; and more than that. You re- 
 member, I said if my plans should go through, you would 
 never be asked questions about your accounts. Now, who 
 could decide that matter? Only two people, — Lizzie and 
 her husband that is to be. 
 
 Clincher. And who is to be her husband ? 
 
 Broad. Your question is not flattering. I shall this very 
 night bring my suit to a final hearing. 
 
41 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Clincher. Lord bless me, Lawyer Broad ! has she en- 
 couraged you ? 
 
 Broad. I will be frank with you, Mr. Clincher. I have 
 niet her several times recently, and I am sure she was 
 much impressed by the distinguished consideration I showed 
 her. The last time she mentioned that she was to give a 
 party and, after I had informed her that only the very 
 rarest attraction could induce me to attend a social enter- 
 tainment of the kind, she invited me to come, and I ac- 
 cepted with a degree of eagerness. I flatter myself that 
 the delicate compliment quite won her heart, for she smiled 
 delightedly. Now that her thoughtless engagement to that 
 young fellow, Jasper, is off, I see nothing to fear. 
 
 Clincher. Well, here she comes. 
 
 Enter Lizzie /Vo»( house. 
 
 Lizzie. Why, Mr. Broad ! (Shnkin(/ hands.) You did 
 come, sure enough ! I feel, oh, so highly flattered ! Do 
 walk in, Mr. Broad. INIoses, show Mr. Broad to the gen- 
 tlemen's room. (Broad enters house.) Mr, Clincher, why 
 didn't you come in? Oh, I know wliat you are going to 
 say — clothing! Bother how you're dressed, so long as we 
 girls know it is dear old Mr. Clincher! But doesn't Mr. 
 l>road look funny in a dress suit! Oh, I've had so much 
 fun out of him, that he almost made me forget ray 
 trouldes ! 
 
 Clincher. Twenty Lawyer Broads, girl, could'nt make 
 you forget that glorious boy Jasper. 
 
 Lizzie. AVhy not! But you are always right. If Mr. 
 Broad could make me forget Jasper, I would love him. 
 
 Clincher. Then you would love two men at once. 
 
 Lizzie, What two? 
 
 Clincher. Lawyer Broad and Jasper. 
 
 Lizzie. But Jasper would be forgotten. 
 
 Clincher. Then you would love even forgotten Jasper. 
 
 Lizzie, I love to hear you talk, Mr. Clincher: but I hate 
 — Jasper January — and I'll say so every chance I get. 
 
 Clincher. Your tongue may say so ; but it will have a 
 talking match with your heart. 
 
 Lizzie. And what will it say? 
 
 Clincher. Thump! Simply thump ! thump! Thump-a- 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 45 
 
 ty-thump! Ha! ha! dont you think, my doar girl, to 
 put down that warm, true love you still feel for Jasper. 
 Ah, you don't know how miserable and lonely he is. Why, 
 he can't help it, he is coming here to-night. 
 
 Lizzie. If' he does I'll turn him away. 
 
 Clincher. But he comes only to peep in. 
 
 Lizzie. To peep in ! That would be shameful ! To peep 
 like the little darkies — oh, don't let him do that, Mr. Clin- 
 cher! But do come into the house, won't you? 
 
 Clincher. No. Run in to your company. Enjoy your- 
 self, but do not forget that Jasper — 
 
 Lizzie. (Holding her hands over her ears.) No, no, no. 
 I will hear no more! Mr. Clincher, I must look happy to- 
 night, and therefore I must not think or feel at all. Good- 
 night, Mr. Clincher, good-night. {She re-enters house.) 
 
 Clincher. Jasper is all right there. (Dance-music within.) 
 Jasper re-enters R. (He crosses to threshold.) 
 
 Jasper. (Looking in.) There she is, all smiles, surrounded 
 bv her guests in the midst of bright lights and music, whilst 
 I— 
 
 Clincher. Whilst you, boy, are enjoying the very essence 
 of true love — suspense. You missed it in your former hasty 
 courtship. 
 
 Jasper. I'd give my life to have my arm around her 
 waist again, to feel her heart responding to mine, oh to — 
 who is that man dancing there with Lizzie? (Pointing.) 
 That awkward but distinguished-looking steer !• 
 
 Clincher. That is Lawyer Broad. 
 
 Jasj^er. Oh, yes, I see now! She's laughing and enjoy- 
 ing herself, as if she were not dancing over people's feelings 
 and trampling on them ! See him ! Lizzie is trying to 
 make him dance faster, and he hastens his steps like an 
 elephant. It makes me sick to see him ! I will not stand 
 here and be a witness of ray own humiliation ! (Contimies 
 to watch every movement.) 
 
 Clincher. Poor boy ! my heart bleeds for him ! I'll get 
 Rowan's letter and set everything right this very night. 
 (Exit R.) (Jasper retires slowly to R.) 
 
 Enter Lizzie (from house). 
 
 Lizzie, (Loohhig.) I don't see Jasper. I wonder if he 
 
46 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 is really here. I want to — I do so want to tell him to go 
 away. It's too provoking he isn't here— he must go away ! 
 (Jafiper appears, ttnseen by Lizzie, at R. 3 E., but Broad 
 enters from house and he hides behind btt^shes.) 
 
 Broad. Miss Maehen, I could not help following you to 
 say you danced divinely. Did 1 waltz pleasingly? 
 
 Lizzie. Charmingly, Mr. Broad. 
 
 Broad. Ah, my dear ]\[iss Maehen, I thank you. In my 
 early youth I did pride myself on my terpsichorean grace, 
 hut I feared I had hecome rude in the art from want of 
 practice. It must be true of dancing as they say of skat- 
 ing and swimming, one's skill is never entirely lost. 
 
 Lizzie. I consider myself very fortunate in having you 
 to dance at my party. ( Take^ smt on rudic bench.) 
 
 Broad. I enjoy it, especially with you. 
 
 Lizzie. You are very kind to say so. (Aside; annoyed.} 
 I wonder what he means by following me here! 
 
 Broad. May I venture to sit on that bench with you. 
 Miss Maehen ? 
 
 Lizzie. Certainly, ^Fr. Broad. (Smilinff.) There is no 
 other seat except the ground. 
 
 Broad. (Seafed.) Many thanks. May I venture a little 
 further, Miss Lizzie? 
 
 Lizzie. ( With a startled f/lance at his proximity.) I do not 
 know what you mean. 
 
 Broad. May I express my sentiments? 
 
 Lizzie. Oh ! Of course, Mr. Broad. 
 
 Broad. iSpeaking of dancing just now, it occurred to me 
 to say that with yours as its partner my heart would dance 
 throughout a joyous existence. 
 
 Lizzie. {Astonished.) Why, Mr. Broad ! 
 
 Broad. {Eagerly, to retrieve the error.) But remember. 
 Miss Ljzzie, I have not said it yet ; I merely threw out the 
 suggestion. 
 
 Lizzie. {Amnsed.) I'd rather you would not say it, Mr. 
 Broad, for as I think the words over they gradually startle 
 me. You are too sedate a gentleman to trifle. 
 
 Broad. 1 never trifle. Excuse me if in making my 
 meaning clearer I speak with difficulty. I am sure you 
 have observed that ever since I first saw you — 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 47 
 
 Lizzie. Mr. Broad, be careful. I shall lose respect for 
 you if you say sentimeutal thiugs. 
 
 Broad. I pledge you ray character I was uever more in 
 earnest iu ray life. I would have spoken long ago except 
 that I heard you were engaged. 
 
 Lizzie. Engaged ? 
 
 Broad. Yes — to a jNIr. February. 
 
 Lizzie. February ? 
 
 Jasper. (From hiding-place.) February ! 
 
 Lizzie. You mean Jasper January, perhaps. You are 
 wrong; I hate him. 
 
 Broad. Then so do I. 
 
 Lizzie. (With inock pleasure.) You do ! Oh, you touch my 
 heart with your sympathy, Mr. Broad. (Looks away from 
 him.) 
 
 Broad. (Encouraged.) Miss Lizzie, I wish to speak a few 
 serious words to you. 
 
 Lizzie. (Aside.) I'll get rid of him at once and for good. 
 (Aloud, but not looking around.) What is it about? 
 
 Broad. (Sighing.) Ah, words are stupid signs ! It's about 
 yourself. {Jasper comes doivn behind settee, shaking his fist.) 
 
 Lizzie. Then I am just dying to hear it; do go on, Mr. 
 Broad. 
 
 Jasper. (Aside.) No he won't, either ! (He seizes Broad's 
 head with his left hand and wrenches it violently totvards left, 
 and at the same instant bends down, quickly kisses Lizzie and 
 withdraivs. She screams, glances indignantly at Broad and 
 slaps him loudly. She rises to left and he to right, with a slight 
 collision.) 
 
 Lizzie. (Turning angrily.) Mr. Broad, you are brutal, 
 sir! I gave you no warrant to kiss — to insult me ! (Turns 
 to go.) 
 
 Broad. I'm surprised to find you such a rough tease. 
 
 Lizzie. (Turning again.) Tease! I should leave you in- 
 stantly, but when you assert that I am angry to " tease " 
 you after the gross indignity you have offered me — 
 
 Broad. Hold, Miss Machen, I beg of you ! Your words 
 and bearing are as bitter as if you were in earnest. 
 
 Lizzie. 1 let you know I am in earnest! (I'urns to go.) 
 
 Broad. You are inimitably facetious. 
 
48 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Lizzie. (Once more hirning and stampinr/ ivith rage.) 
 Facetious ! 
 
 Broad. Yes, Miss Machen ; but really, I am a poor sub- 
 ject for your fun, for I allow nothing to \yorry or startle 
 nie. It is true that when you jerked my head around just 
 now — 
 
 Lizzie. What! 
 
 Broad. I was considerably surprised at the weight of your 
 arm — 
 
 Jjizzie. I slapped you, sir I It was unladylike, but had 
 my hand held a bolt of lightning it would have struck you 
 when you dared to kiss me I ( Turns to go.) 
 
 Broud. I did not kiss you. Miss Machen. 
 
 Lizzie. (Turning back again.) Do you dare deny it ? 
 
 Broad. Most solemnly. You must have imagined that 
 kiss. 
 
 Lizzie. Imagined a kiss! and from you? Oh, horrible ! 
 If you do not respect lue, sir, you shall obey me. I am the 
 mistress here, an(l I order you to leave my place. 
 
 Broad. Do I fully understand you to be in earnest? 
 
 Jjizzie. You are stupid to ask such a question. 
 
 Broad. AVell, then, I go without a particle of regret. 
 (Evil R.) 
 
 Lizzie. A perfect beast! I'm all in a tremble and must 
 look like a fright! I can't go into the parlors as I am now. 
 (Exit L.) 
 
 Jasper. (Looks after Broad.) Good-bye, ha! ha! — a 
 thoroughly rejected character he is! (Looks into house.) 
 
 Reenter Lizzie L. 
 
 Jjizzie. (Seeing Jasper; aside.) Jasper! What impu- 
 dence! I'll not notice him! (Turm back, then stops.) No, 
 I'll not run away as if I feared hirn. (Faces audience and 
 re^nains so throughout this scene.) 
 
 Jasper. (Seeing her ; aside.) The angel! I will speak to 
 her! But what can I say to make her listen? (Aloud, ten- 
 derly.) Lizzie, do you know who it is that speaks? 
 
 Lizzie. (Coldly.) Oh, yes, I know you, who you are. 
 
 Jasper. You know my voice, then, changed as it is by 
 sorrow ? 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 49 
 
 Lizzie. I know your voice, changed as it is for some mis- 
 chief. 
 
 Jasper. By sorrow, I swear it, Lizzie. Just turn and see 
 what a wreck your cruelty has made of me, 
 
 Lizzie. I prefer that you turn and leave me. I have 
 vowed never to look at you again. 
 
 Jasper. Would you be so heartless ? 
 
 Lizzie. Do go. You detain me from my company. 
 
 Jasper. Am I not company ? 
 
 Lizzie. Company I'd like to say good-bye to. 
 
 Jasper. And would you press me to call again ? 
 
 lAzzie. I'd wish you good-speed — might no accident turn 
 you back again. 
 
 Jasper. Then yon really wish never to see me any more? 
 
 Lizzie. Exactly ; that's what I said. 
 
 Jasper. And you wouldn't press me to call again? 
 
 Lizzie. I said I would not. 
 
 Jasper. And I am not company ? 
 
 Lizzie. You are going back over the same ground. 
 
 Jasper. Oh, Lizzie, I want to carry you back with me, 
 step by step, until we come again to those happy, happy 
 times when — 
 
 Lizzie. ( Touched.) Jasper, nothing could induce me ever 
 to recognize you again — yes, one thing would. 
 
 Ja'^per. Oh, name it, Lizzie! 
 
 Lizzie. That you humbly beg the pardon of one you have 
 wronged. 
 
 Jasper. Beg a pardon ! 
 
 Lizzie. Yes, of Edward Ballon. 
 
 Jasper. But that's a very hard condition. {Aside.') I'd 
 beg a million ! 
 
 Lizzie. It is but right you should. 
 
 Jasper. But think what a thing begging a pardon is. (As 
 to an imaginary person.) Pardon, sir, I, sir, with malice 
 aforethought, knowing it to be wrong, sir, deliberately in- 
 jured you, and now I come to say, sir, that since I am tired 
 of the triumph or mirth I felt at the time, sir, forgive and 
 forget, sir. Oh, I'd rather kill a man than beg his par- 
 don! It is a terrible thing, Lizzie; but for your sake I'll 
 do even that. And now ? 
 
60 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Lizzie. And now — nothing. When you have done as I 
 say, I'll — I'll acknowledge your existence. {Aside.^ How I 
 do love him after all ! I dare not look at him now. Were 
 I to do so I would just melt and swim to him ! {She retires 
 to the door of the hoii-^e s/oic/i/, in ■•<uch a wai/ '/.>< to avoid looking 
 at him. He can haiyUi/ restrain himself from embracing her.) 
 (Nerromli/.) Don't you touch me! Don't you dare! Take 
 care! Take care ! { Pausing at the door.) Jasper, I «'/// tell 
 you good-night. (After a shoii pause, without looking.) Are 
 you gone, without a word. 
 
 Jasper. No — no ! 
 
 Lizzie. But you should go. (Almost turns to him.) Good- 
 night. (EntershoH.se.) 
 
 Jasper. She is gone, but she is yielding. I know now 
 what it is to love. What can I do next? Let's see. 
 
 Sophy. (Pee]>ing into the honse.) Let's see ! 
 
 Jasper. Why, Sophy, you black witch, what are you 
 doiug ? 
 
 Sophy. Peepin' in, Mars Jasper. Jis seein' ther dresses — 
 au, dey iz purty I an' dancin', au my! it are sweet! But 
 dat ]\[ars Lawyer Broad what wuz here, he can't dance, 
 not wurf notliin' ! Missis Lizzie maked on whut she doan' 
 lub you, but she do, Mars Jasper. 
 
 Ja.'^per. Have you heard her say so? 
 
 Sophy. No, sir, I ain't beared nothin'. 
 
 Jasper. Then how do you know? 
 
 Sophy. 'Cause — 'cause — I knows it here. (Putting her 
 hand on her heart.) 
 
 Jasper. And I know it here. (Tmitating her.) One sympa- 
 thetic thrill of instinct like that teaches one more of human 
 nature than would years of study. But, Sophy, if she 
 loves me, why does she treat me so cruelly ? 
 
 Sophy. 'Cause she hates you. 
 
 Ja-^per. Hates me ! She loves me, yet hates me. Ex- 
 plain that oracle, sphinx ! 
 
 Soj)hy. Mars Jasper, you bab no provoke to call me names 
 like dat. 
 
 Jasper. Why does she hate me ? 
 
 Sophy. 'Cause you made ]\Iars Edward cry. 
 
 Jasper. Cry ! Did he cry ? 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 51 
 
 Sophy. Not no wet cry; but he cried, an' I cried 'cause 
 he did. 
 
 Jasper. Do you like your marster Edward ? 
 
 Sophj. Yes, sir. Everybody likes Mars Edward. 
 
 Jasper. A nice choice for a villain ! Does INIartha like 
 him ? 
 
 Sophy. Yes, sir, she likes him, but she do not lub hira, 
 she lubs Mars Rowan. But, Lorsy Mercy, she doau' know 
 it! 
 
 Jasper. Then how do you know it? {She puts her hand 
 to her heart.) She knows everything by instinct. Experi- 
 ence is a humbug. 
 
 Enter Clincher R. {He looks greatly agitated, and Sophy 
 stares at him; Jasper looks around.) 
 
 Jasper. Mr. Clincher, what has happened ? 
 
 Clincher. I've just seen Mr. Edward, boy, and you'd 
 better prepare for more trouble. I found the poor fellow 
 pale, and distressed, and uncertain what to do. When he 
 saw me he seized my arm with an admirable grip. " Do 
 you come again for that letter?" he asked. " Yes," said I. 
 "Then," he exclaimed, "your anxiety confirms the worst. 
 Mr. Clincher," he hissed, " that letter means that Martha 
 is in danger. A married man is seeking to marry her!" 
 I argued with him in vain, boy. He is on his way here now 
 to denounce Rowan. Can you explain that letter or not? 
 
 Jasper. No — no — no. But a letter from Fred Stone is 
 due. The train has just passed. Moses! {Moses appears.) 
 Jump on ray horse there, and run him to the station. Get 
 my mail and bring it here ! 
 
 Moses. (Starting.) Yes, sir. 
 
 Clincher. And bring ray Lexington paper, to-day's, with 
 the races in it. 
 
 Moses. Yes, sir. {Exit R.) {Clincher and Jasper follow 
 Moses off.) 
 
 Enter Martha and Rowan. 
 
 Rowan. Do you ever think, Martha, of our first meeting 
 after my return ; when I came upon you and Lizzie out in 
 the woods-pasture? 
 
 Martha. Yes, I remember it. 
 
 Rowan. A singular meeting, wasn't it ? 
 
52 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Martha. Yes, very unexpected, and Jasper behaved ab- 
 surdly. 
 
 Row in. I do not mean that. I refer to the way we 
 greeted each other. 
 
 Martha. It piqued me that you did know me at first. 
 
 Ronmn. I did know you ; but you gave uo sign of know- 
 ing me. 
 
 Miirtha. Why, I knew you instantly. { Then take seats.) 
 
 Roivan. I knew you ; you knew me. Yet we almo.st 
 needed an introduction before we could speak to each 
 other. Wasn't that singular? 
 
 3fartha. 80 it was. 
 
 Roivan. What did it mean, Martha ? 
 
 Martha. AVhy, I attach no particular meaning to it. 
 
 Rowan. I do. We had parted, six years before, with tears 
 in our eves, and our last words were vows of love. Isnt it 
 so? 
 
 Martha. Yes. 
 
 Roivan. During those six years (taking her hand) I had 
 treasured the love of our childhood day by day. Martha, 
 look at me — had you ? 
 
 Martha. Rowan, you change the subject, ^\'e were talk- 
 ing about that meeting in the woods-pasture. 
 
 Rowan. I do not change the subject (offering to clasp her 
 ivalst, from which .ihe withdmivs partially). I had returned 
 then, not dreaming of the changes in you, not appreciating 
 the changes in myself perhaps. I thought to fincl that when 
 we met again, those six years would be as a single day to 
 the past in our love. I found you, not the young girl of 
 my memory, but a beautiful woman — how could I greet 
 you ? No words, not even your name would have satisfied 
 my heart. It prompted me then and still prompts me to 
 clasp you in my arras (clasping her pa.^sionately ) thus, 
 Martha. 
 
 Martha. ( With an effort.) Rowan, you have said too much. 
 
 Roivan. Martha, I have just begun. 
 
 Martha. I do not fancy such jesting as this, Rowan. (Of- 
 fering to escape.) 
 
 Rowan. Then, seriously — 
 
 Martha. I should not listen — now. Let me go, please. 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 53 
 
 Rowan. Oh, answer me one question, Martha. {She listens.) 
 May I judge your heart by mine ? 
 
 Martha. Rowan, I will not answer. T do not know my 
 mind or my heart, while you hold me so. I had no right 
 to let you go so far. (tStrur/glinr/ weakh/ to free herself.) 
 
 Rowan. Why not, Martha? 
 
 Martha. Because I have been warned against you. 
 
 Rowan. {Releasing her.) {Both rise.) Warned against 
 nie? 
 
 Martha. Yes, Rowan. {Starts off; then i^auses.) 
 
 Rowan. Warned against rae^-how ? 
 
 Martha. I don't know what it means ! {Turns quickly and 
 takes Rowan's outstretched hands.) But, Rowan, I cannot 
 and will not believe any evil of you! See ! {Throws herself 
 into his arms.) I trust you. Rowan, against the world. 
 
 Rowan. Because you love me as I love you ? 
 
 Martha. Yes. (Sobs.) 
 
 Enter Edward R. 3 E. 
 
 Edward. {Aside.) It is a cruel fate to have to make her 
 miserable now, to tell her she loves a villain ! {Aloud.) 
 Martha ! 
 
 Martha. {Springing from Roivan's side.) Edward ! 
 
 Edward. {Hesitating.) Martha — 
 
 Martha. {Returning to Rowan, loith a reliant air.) Ed- 
 ward, perhaps it is well you saw what you did, for — 
 
 Edward. I know what you would say. You are glad I 
 have actually seen how hopeless was my love. I have known 
 it from the beginning. But I came here, as a duty, to tell 
 you of your peril. . 
 
 Martha. Edward, what do you mean ? 
 
 Edward. I mean Mr. Dilland there. 
 
 Rowan. And what of me ? 
 
 Edward. Why, this of you ! {Producing the letter.) Look 
 at this! {Roivan does so.) Do you know it? 
 
 Rowan. What's this — my letter? 
 
 Edward. The writing is yours. 
 
 Rowan. Yes, it is, and I see written on your face — thief! 
 
 Edivard. {Restraining himself.) And your face is too true 
 for such a blackened heart ! Martha — 
 
 Roivan. Give me that letter — 'tis mine. 
 
54 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Edward. It was yours. So was your perfidy whilst you 
 could keep it hid ! 
 
 Martha. Oh, Edward ! Rowan ! Say no more now ! Run, 
 Sophy, tell mother and Lizzie to come ! 
 
 Exit Sophy. 
 
 Roxvan. (To Edivurd.) To do you justice, I ought to 
 throttle you ! If you attempt to read that letter, I will. 
 
 Edivard. Read it ! Xo. Martha, I respect you too much 
 to read it before you. But, think the worst a letter can 
 prove, and then you will not know how utterly unworthy 
 of you that man is ! 
 
 Martha. Oh, Edward, you do not know what you are 
 saying ! 
 
 Boivan. Martha, look at me — it is a lie ! 
 
 Agnes. ( Appear in f/ from the door.) It is no lie ! 
 
 Edward. {Approaching lioivan.) A lie ! You dare to say 
 it is a lie! 
 
 Jiowan. (Ritshing upon him.) Yes — yes. And I will make 
 you own it too ! (Martha screams and throws herself between 
 them.) 
 (Mrs. Estill, Clincher, Lizzie, Jasper and Sophy appear.) 
 
 3Irs. Estill. Martha, my child, what is the matter? Jas- 
 per, you have been the cause of all the trouble. Explain 
 this wretched scene. (Jasper looks from one to another in 
 dumb distress.) 
 
 Rowan. No, INIrs. Estill, it is my place to explain it. It 
 is no secret from you that I love Martha and she loves me. 
 This man, too. has asked her hand, and now he tries to 
 make her doubt me. His motive is plain — 
 
 Edward. Never mind ray motives, sir. Explain this 
 letter away if you can. It is true, I dared to love Martha, 
 but I will triumph in her happiness wherever she may find 
 it — with you, if you prove yourself worthy of her. If not, 
 you shall never have her. Explain that letter. 
 
 Rowan. Are you done? Well, never fear, I will explain 
 it; and then prepare yourself to answer how you got it, sir! 
 
 Jasper. (Stepping forward with great determination.) He 
 got it from me ! 
 
 All. Sh ! Sh ! 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 55 
 
 Jasper. I will speak ! I am responsible for the whole 
 trouble, and I will make a clean breast of it ! 
 
 Boivan. (To Jasper.') Be sileut ! I have no faith in any- 
 thing you say ! I'll speak for myself! 
 
 Clincher. Rowan, boy, becalm. Give Jasper a chance. 
 Take the word of old Clincher who loves you all, the boy 
 knows it all and will set you right. {To Jasper.) Say some- 
 thing quick and to the point ! 
 
 Jasper. They won't listen to me ! 
 
 Clincher. They are waiting. 
 
 Jasper. But I don't know what the letter means ! ( With 
 sudden hope.) Yes ! Yes ! I can explain ! I hear my 
 horse's hoofs ! Listen, all of you, don't you hear him on the 
 pike? It is Moses with the letter! From Fred Stone, 
 Rowan ! There he is ! Run Sophy, hold the horse ! Here, 
 Moses, here ! 
 
 Enter Moses. 
 
 Moses. Mars Jasper, here am one ! (Hands Jasper a letter.) 
 Mars Clincher, here am one! {Hands Clincher a paper.) 
 
 Jasper. {Breaking open the letter.) Fred Stone ! Listen to 
 me, all of you. {Opens letter and reads.) " Jasper January, 
 Esq. Dear Sir : Your extraordinary letter has reached 
 me. Evidently Rowan's illness — " 
 
 Rowan. What illness? What is this new nonsense? 
 
 Clincher. Be patient, Rowan, boy. Wait just a little. 
 
 Jasper. (Beading.) " Evidently Rowan's illness began 
 with the brain fever — " 
 
 Bowan. Brain fever ! Jasper, if you dare read another 
 line — 
 
 Clincher. Listen, Rowan, listen. You are innocent, I 
 know it. That letter saves you from an explanation that 
 would seem absurd, perhaps, however true. 
 
 Jasper. (Reading.) " Evidently Rowan's illness began 
 with the brain fever. That is the only way in which I can 
 account for your queer mistake in speaking of that girl 
 Stella as his wife." 
 
 Bowan. What is all this ? I demand to know before it 
 goes any further ! Am I listening to a lunatic? 
 
 Clincher. No, boy. Only a novelist. 
 
 Jasper. {Beading.) " Stella is only a — " ha ! ha ! Mr. 
 
56 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 Edward, all of you, who do you suppose that girl Stella 
 was? (Beads.) " Stella is only a character in a novel that 
 Rowan and I are trying to write." 
 
 Clincher. Ha ! ha ! Rowan, I'm ashamed of you — to write 
 novels I You deserved to get into trouble ! Why even 
 Jasper blushes for you I But it is all clear now — away with 
 jealousies, accusations, explanations, and every other kind 
 of bother! AN'hy even old Mr. Clincher has something 
 cheerful to say! Fire Fly ran his preliminary race at 
 Lexington yesterday — here it is! (Holdin;/ up the paper.) 
 But what's the use to read it ! I can actually see it ! You 
 all know what he looks like and what a starter he is — how 
 he jumps away surprisingly, like a rabbit from his form ! 
 Away they go, and there he is, ten lengths ahead, just tip- 
 ping the top dust, his head pulled double passing the quarter! 
 Easily, easily, swiftly he leads them by far at the half! 
 Easily, easily. leading them splendidly, jumpety, jumpety, 
 dancing on quietly all through the third! Look how they 
 straggle and string into fragments rounding the last curve ! 
 But see ! they are bunching, and all come together down the 
 broad home-stretch! W'iio leads? Is Fire Fly there? 
 Fire Fly ! Fire Fly! {Fionhling tJie pjapcr.) Shame! What 
 is that jockey boy doiug to him — whipping Fire Fly ! Con- 
 found the dust, I can't see the fniish ! Did he win ? (Buns 
 his eye--' over the paper.) What's this? It is not true! Fire 
 Fly is broken down! (Bee/s.) 
 
 Mr.-<. Estill. ( Goinr/ to Clincher.) Dear Mr. Clincher, take 
 heart ! Things are not so bad. 
 
 Clincher. ( Despairingl;/.) Yes, yes, Mrs. Estill, things are 
 gone to ruin — Fire Fly has lost! 
 
 Mrs. Estill. But that's nothing — a mere trifle. 
 
 Clincher. (To Mrs. Estill.) But those accounts — the ac- 
 counts. I am disgraced. 
 
 3Irs. Extill. Your accounts are all right. 
 
 Clincher. Eh? 
 
 Mrs. Estill. Edward has found your error. The balance 
 is in your favor. Edward, tell him. 
 
 Edward. Mr. Clincher, did you know the law allows you 
 a commission on the moneys handled? 
 
 Clincher. (Proudly.) Yes, I know the law. But do you 
 
A LIVE NOVEL. 57 
 
 think I would charge commissions against that girl — the 
 orphan daughter of Colonel Robert Machen ? 
 
 Lizzie. And do you think the daughter of Colonel Robert 
 Machen would take the money earned by old Mr. Clincher ! 
 Mrs. Estill has explained matters to me. Not a dollar of 
 that money belongs to me, and do you think you could force 
 it on me ? 
 
 Clincher. No ; I'm afraid not, girl. It is gone. 
 
 Lizzie. And I'm glad of it. It went for the honor of 
 Bluegrass County. 
 
 Clincher. Ah, that's the talk, girl ! That makes it seem 
 all right. Thank you, Mr. Edward, thank you. {Sliaking 
 hands idth him.) Thank Heaven, I know every man in 
 Bluegrass now, and love them all. 
 
 Jasjyer. (Who has heeti jmzzling over Fred Stone's letter.) 
 See here, Rowan, explain this to me. Fred Stone says in 
 his letter — 
 
 Clincher. Be patient, Jasper, till I have given a little 
 advice. Take it, all of you, and be happy. Rowan, I ad- 
 vise you to marry Martha (joining their hands), and Mar- 
 tha, you had better marry him. Lizzie, you have your 
 guardian's consent to marry Jasper ; you are the best loved 
 girl in Bluegrass. That's right, give him your hand. 
 (Jasper kisses her.) Ha! ha! There's no humbug in it 
 now. Mr, Edward, your hand (takes it), and Agnes, yours 
 (takes it). I'll not stand between you long. Sophy ! 
 Moses! What's the matter with you two? 
 
 Moses. Mars Jasper sed whut we mus' kiss all ther time. 
 
 Sophy. 'An we hate kissin'. 
 
 Jasper. Clear out ! I'll give you the things I promised. 
 
 Moses. 'An no more kissin' ? 
 
 Jasper. Not a kiss. 
 
 Moses. (Oh, Sophy. ] ^^7 , . n 
 
 ^0^.1/. I Oh, Moses. I ^^^''^'^'•^^■^•^ 
 
 Jasper. Hello ! You've done it, after all ! 
 
 Sophy. But we nebber counted it, Mars Jasper. 
 
 Clincher. Ah, Jasper, the counted kisses are the humbug 
 ones ! 
 
 Jasper. Rowan, explain this letter to me, and we will all 
 let by-gones be by-gones. Fred Stone says (reading). 
 
58 A LIVE NOVEL. 
 
 " Your letter has been so suggestive of complications in our 
 story, that I have substituted your name for that of Stella's 
 husband." Now tell nie, what sort of a fellow is Stella's 
 husband ? 
 
 Rowan. A cruel, thieving, deep-dyed villain. 
 
 Jasper. I knew it, Mr. Clincher! I knew I was making 
 myself the villain of all the novels in Christendom ! 
 
 Rowan. ~) 
 
 ^ip'i 1 -What are you talking about? 
 
 Lizzie. J 
 
 Jasper. {To audience.) vSee ! My characters are exactly 
 like those of the books — they know nothing of what has 
 been done with them. Ah, could tlie characters of all 
 incapable novelists turn against them, as mine have risen 
 in their might against me — well, there would be few novel- 
 ists left to tell a tale. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
LIbHAHY Uh UUIMUntOO 
 
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