COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY HAROLD ROORBACH, 3£t0Otf)ac!)'S full HeSCriptlbC Catalogue of Dramas, Comedies, Comediettas Farces, Tab.eaux-vivants, Guide-books, Novel Entertainments for Church School and Par or Exhibitions, etc., containing complete and explicit informat.on, w.ll be sent to any address on receipt of a stamp for return postage. Address as above. / ROORBACH'S AMERICAN EDITION. PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. This series embraces the best of plays, suited to the present time. The reprints have been rigidly compared with the original acting copies, so that absolute purity of text and stage business is warranted. Each play is furnished with an introduction of the greatest value to the stage manager, containing the argument or synopsis of incidents, complete lists of properties and costumes, diagrams of the stage settings and practicable scene-plots, with the fullest stage directions. They are hand- somely printed from new electrotype plates, in readable type, on fine paper. Their complete introductions, textual accuracy, and mechanical excellence render these books far superior in every respect to all editions of acting plays hitherto published. 1. ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD. A comic drama in two acts. Six male, three female characters. Time, two hours. 2. A SCRAP OF PAPER. A comic drama in three acts. Six male, six female .jharacters. Time, two hours. 3 . MY LORD IN LIVERY. A farce in one act. Five male, three female charac- ters. Time, fifty minutes. 4. CABMAN No. 93. A farce in one act. Two male, two female characters. Time, lorly minutes. 5. MILKY WHITE. A domestic drama in two acts. Four male, two female char- acters. Time, one hour and three quarters. 6. PARTNERS FOR LIFE. A comedy in three acts. Seven male, four female characters. Time, two hours. 7. WOODCOCK'S LITTLE GAME. A comedy-farce in two acts. Four male, four female characters. Time, one hour. 8. HOW TO TAME YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW. A farce in one act. Four male, two female characters. Time, thirty-five minutes. 9. LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET. A drama in two acts. Four male, three female characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. 10. NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL. A comedy in three acts. Six male, five female characters. Time, one hour and forty minutes. 11. WHICH IS WHICH ? A comedietta in one act. Three male, three female characters. Time, fifty minutes. 12. ICI ON PARLE FRANCAIS. A farce in one act. Three male, four female characters. Time, forty-five minutes. 13. DAISY FARM. A drama in four acts. Ten male, four female characters. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 14. MARRIED LIFE. A comedy in three acts. Five male, five female characters. Time, two hours. 15. A PRETTY PIECE OF BUSINESS. A comedietta in one act. Two male, three female characters. Time, fifty minutes. 16. LEND ME FIVE SHILLINGS. A farce in one act. Five male, two female characters. Time, one hour. 17. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— Original Version. A drama in six acts. Fifteen male, seven female characters. Time, three hours. 18. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— New Version. A drama in five acts. Seven male, five female characters. Time, two hours and a quarter. 19. LONDON ASSURANCE. A comedy in five acts. Ten male, three female characters. Time, two hours and three quarters. 2 °- ATCHI ! A comedietta in one act. Three male, two female characters. Time, forty minutes. 21. WHO IS WHO? A farce in one act. Three male, two female characters. Time, forty minutes. 22. THE WOVEN WEB. A drama in four acts. Seven male, three female char- acters. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. %£T~A ny 0/ the above will be sent by mail, post-paid, to any address, on receipt 0/ the price. HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York THAT RASCAL PAT A FARCE IN ONE ACT J. HOLMES GROVER New American Edition, Correctly Reprinted from the Original Authorized Acting Edition, with the Original Cast of the Characters, Argument of the Play, Time of Representation, Description of the Costumes, Scene and Property Plots, Dia- gram of the Stage Setting, Sides of Entrance and Exit, Relative Posi- tions of the Performers, Expla- nation of the Stage Direc- tions, etc., and all of the Stage Business. Copyright, 1890, by Harold Roorbach. NEW YORK HAROLD ROORBACH PUBLISHER THAT RASCAL PAT. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Pat McNoggerty Major Puffjacket ( a handy servant ) ( on half pay ) Charles Livingstone ( poor but ambitious ) T f niece to Puffjacket and\ \ in love with Charles ) j her maid, in love with \Pat Nancy Branfs Opera House, Harrisburg, Pa. November, 1864. Mr. J. Holmes Grover. Mr. J. M. Davenport. Mr. W. L. Jamison. Miss Lena Forest. Miss Lenora Creed. Time of Representation — Fifty-Minutes. THE ARGUMENT. Mr. Charles Livingstone is in love with Laura, who returns his affection but can not secure the consent of Major Puffjacket, a crusty- old bachelor, to their union. Charles leaves his servant, Pat McNog- gerty, a good-natured and blundering Irishman, at a fashionable watering place hotel, cautioning him not to leave the house until Charles' return. Major Puffjacket and his niece happen to be staying in the same house, unknown to Charles, and the Major offers to take Pat into his service ; to which proposition Pat, thinking to turn a few honest dollars during his master's absence, assents. Charles returns unexpectedly, and Pat, in trying to serve two masters, accidently changes a pocket-book in the Major's coat for a picture-case in that of Charles, and to explain the mistake he tells the Major that the picture-case was given him by his late master, on the latter's death-bed, much to the grief of Laura, who recog- nizes it as the picture she had given to Charles. Then Pat explains the presence of the pocket-book to Charles by saying that a gentleman had given it to him to hold ; and Charles, finding the pocket-book to contain his own letters to Laura, supposes the Major, whom he had never seen, TMP92-009136 THAT RASCAL PAT 3 a rival, grossly insults the latter and challenges him to mortal combat. After a comical series of complications all the parties meet and explanations ensue. Laura, discovering that Charles is not dend, pleads for forgive- ness which the Major finally grants, together with his consent to their marriage. And though deeply incensed at Pat, he concludes that, as the latter is about to marry Laura's maid and can thereby easily serve both his old and his new master, the best thing he can do is to retain in his service That Rascal Pat. COSTUMES. McNoggerty. — Red wig and dress of a body servant. Gray frieze coat. Puffjacket. — Military cap and dark blue undress military suit. Over- coat. Livingstone. — Fashionable walking suit. Overcoat. Black silk hat. Laura. — Lady's walking dress. Straw hat, with feather. Parasol. Nancy. — Plain muslin dress looped up over red petticoat. PROPERTIES. Writing materials. Letter for Nancy. Pocket-book, containing a packet of letters, in Puffjacket's overcoat pocket. Picture, in case, in Charles' overcoat pocket. Cane and money for Puffjacket. Visiting card for Charles. Money for Laura. Dish of hot oysters, clothes brush and shillalah for Pat. STAGE SETTING AND SCENE PLOT. / Door Interior Backing 1 Boor 1 — J •9* Table ^Chairs Scene. — A large public room in a fashionable watering place hotel. Wide door c. in the flat, opening upon a hall or corridor. Practicable door R., with "No. 2" on it. Another door l., with "No. I " on it. Both side doors to open on stage. Table and chairs down r. c. Hat-stand up l. c THAT RASCAL PAT. STAGE DIRECTIONS. Observing, the player is supposed to face the audience. R. means right; L., left; c, centre; R. H., right hand; l. h., left hand; r. c, right of centre; l. c, left of centre; c. D., centre door; upstage, towards the back ; down stage, towards the footlights. R. R. C. L. C. Note. — The text of this play is correctly reprinted from the original authorized acting edition, without change. The introductory matter has been carefully prepared by an expert, and is the only part of this book pro- tected by copyright. THAT RASCAL PAT. Scene. — A large public room in a fashionable watering place hotel. Table and chairs R., clothes-rack and hat-stand L. C, a practica- ble door opening R. with No. 2 upon it, also one l. with No. 1 upon it. Both doors to open on stage. Enter, Charles Livingstone, c. D.from l.; coat and hat in hand. Charles, {calling) Pat ! Pat ! Confound that blundering Irish- man, {looks off c. d.) Pat! Pat! I say, Pat! Pat. {without) Coriiin' sur ! Comin'. Charles, {putting overcoat and hat down) Curse that stupid idiot. Here I'm half strangled with dust and no one to help me. What's the use of having a servant, I'd like to know? More trouble than they're worth. Pat ! I say, Pat ! Pat. {without) Faix thin, I'm comin', sur. Charles. Then why don't you come? Am I to wait here all day for that fellow ? I've threatened half a dozen times to discharge him, but, somehow or other, he's hard to get rid of. The fact is, I owe the fellow so much, and he refuses to quit my service until I pay his back wages. Well, well, under the circumstances, I guess he'll remain a while, for I'm about as poor as a church mouse. Now if I'd only some crusty old uncle, willing to " kick the bucket" for my special accommodation, and leave me a snug little fortune — but there's no such luck in store for me, I suppose. Now there's Laura, when her Uncle Somebody dies, she'll have a cool hundred thousand — how I love that girl— and how convenient the hundred thousand would be ! I think she loves me, her let- ters are so very affectionate. I've already proposed, and she seems perfectly willing, but that crusty old uncle of hers, it seems, must be consulted. Then he swears she must marry Fitz- noodle, or Snoozle. Confound Fitznoodle, I say ! Then again, Laura tells me in her last, that the old fool has heard of our attachment, and instead of feeling honored by my preference for his niece, says if she has anything to do with me, he'll cut her off with a shilling. Confound all crusty old uncles, I say. {calling) Pat! Pat ! Why the devil don't you come ? Pat. {singing without) 6 THAT RASCAL PAT. If I had a patch o' praities, Wid two or three pigs an' a cow, Shure, I wouldn't call Stephens me uncle — Enters, C. D. from L. Here I am, sur ! Charles. Will you hold your tongue, sir? Pat. [taking hold of tongue with thumb and finger) I have it, sur. Charles. How dare you sing in a public place like this? (Charles threatens Pat) Pat. Shure, an' it's in public I does the most o' me singin', sur. Charles. Silence ! Pat. I'm covered wid blushes entirely, sur. Charles. Pat, come here ! Pat. Yes, sur. Charles. Were you ever in love ? Pat. In love, is it? Begorrah, I was, ihin. In Killibrallaghan, County Tip, I was in love so often, sur, that I'm able ter take it as aisy as a Frinchman 'd take a pinch o' snuff. Charles. Pat, I'm serious — I'm in love — deeply in love — miser- ably in love — [with excitement) I'm crazy ! Pat. Faix, thin, I'm thinkin ye's are, sur. Charles, [aside) What shall I do ? What shall I do ? [walking floor rapidly — Pat watches him) Pat. [sings) I fell in love wid an Irish girl, From County Downe, came she. Charles. Silence ! [aside) What am I saying, and to my servant! [sternly) Why the devil don't you stir yourself about? Don't you see I want to write a letter ? Paper ! Pen and ink ! Come, envelopes ! Pat. [aside, going R. ) What the devil's come over the master, I dunno? Shure thin it's astray he's goin'. Faix but he's afthur losin' his sober karacter, altogther, entirely. Exit, R. Charles, [sitting at table) Why should Laura write me such infernal news? It's enough to set one crazy. If that bigoted old uncle of hers only knew how much I adored her — how I worshiped the very earth she treads, he wouldn't act so outrageously. The old fool has never seen me, yet he insists on Laura's cutting my acquaintance, and upon her marryingthat Fitznoodle, because he's rich — he has money. Why, Lord help his innocent old heart — she'll have plenty for the both of us! Isn't a hundred thousand enough? but, if he cuts her off with a shilling ! Oh, Lord ! How can we get along ? He can't do it — the thing's utterly impossible ! Curse old bachelor uncles — curse Fitznoodle — if I had him here, I'd— I'd THAT RASCAL PAT. 7 Rushes R. , and runs into Pat, who enters from No. 2 with writing materials, and knocks everything down. Pat falls. Pat. {getting up) Oh, murther ! Charles. What the devil are you doing in my way? Pat. Ye's have knocked th' paper an' th' pins all over the flure, an' th* ink's gone t' th' diviiintirely — Th' way ye's ar' goin', sur, it's meself s tired o' bein' in yer sarvice, an' if ye's'll pay me my wages, I'll discharge meself immagitly ! Charles, [kicking him) Get out of the room, you rascal ! Pat. Don't ye's want t' write yer letther, sur? Charles, [business) No ! Go to the devil — get out of my sight ! (Pat picks up things) Stop! Bring me my portmanteau — I'm going away. Pat. An' where ar' ye's goin' sur? Charles, [angrily) Do you hear me ? Pat. [starting quickly) Yis, sur ! Exit, R. Charles. Let me see — I'll go — where' 11 I go? Pat. [poking in his head) Will ye have yer tooth brish, sur — an' ye're fine tooth comb ? Charles. Come here ! Why don't you come when I call you ? Pat. ( entering from R. slowly) I'mcomin' sur. Charles. Help me with my coat ! [business) Easy, now, easy ! There, that's it. Now, my hat. (Pat hands hint his hat — Charles walks floor nervously) Pat, I'm going away for three weeks — remember, for three weeks. Don't go away, don't stir from this house. When I return your wages shall be paid in full — (Pat seems very much surprised) Don't leave the house! (Charles rushes off, R. ) Pat. Gone away for three weeks ! I'm t' shtop here agin he comes back — oh, he' crazy. He's turned lunatic, altogether — begorrah, an' it's th' girrels that's turnin' him into a lunatic 'syleum wid their avil designs. Gone for three wakes ! Be th' sole o' me fut, but I must get me hat and follow him. Exit, r. Enter, Nancy L.,from door No. i. Nancy. Oh, deary me. What shall I do in this dreadful dreary place? My poor young missus does nothing but fret from morning till night. Master says she must marry some rich young man, and she's in love with a poor young gentleman. I know what I'd do — uncle or no uncle, I'd just run away, and marry the one I loved best. If I could only see my young man — he's the flame of my affections — oh, he's such a nice young man ! He's perfection, only his name's Pat! That would have to be changed. Oh, dear, I never could become Mrs. Pat. [business — struts about with affected dignity) THAT RASCAL PAT Enter, Pat, r. seeing Nancy, and unseen by her. Pat. Oh, look at that ! Who's this, I dunno ? Nancy, (turning and seeing Pat — aside) Ah ! that's a nice young man — who can he be? How he's watching me. (turns away indig- nantly) Pat. (recognizes her) What! No! Yes, that's Nancy ! What th' divil brings her here, I wonder? Nancy! Nancy! — I say, Nancy ! (business) Nancy, (turning to Pat) Goodness gracious, if it isn't Pat ! Why, Pat, where in the name of goodness did you come from ? You put me all in a flurry, (turns Pat around rapidly) Turn around and let me see you, is it really you ? Pat. Av coorse it's me — shure, if ye's kape on in that way much longer, ye's '11 have me turned into somebody else ! But, Nancy darlin', what ar' ye's doin' here? Ye's ought t' be ashamed o' yerself, so ye's ought, the way ye's have kilt me intirely, wid yer doin's. Faix, 1 thought ye's were gone from me foriver andiver altogether. Nancy. Come, come, Pat — I'll tell you all about it. You must know, I'm a young lady's maid now, and Pat. Ar' ye's, now ? Nancy. Yes, and my young missus came down here to the sea- shore with her rich old uncle, and I'm her companion, (business — struts about stage) Pat. Come here, Nancy — let me look at ye's. Ye's haven't gone and bruke me heart, since I saw ye's, by marryin' any other fellow, have ye's? Didn't I always love ye's betther nor a pig loved butter-milk? Didn't I tell ye's about forty hundred thou- sand times that ye's were th' swatest craythure in th' worreld ? Nancy. No nonsense, Pat! If you begin that, I'll run away. Listen to me. Do you see this letter ? Pat. I do thin, Nancy. Nancy. Well then, it's to go to the post. It's for such a nice young man. My missus is in love with such a splendid young fellow ! Oh, such eyes ! such lips ! And such an exquisite moustache Pat. Hould on, Nancy, hould on ! Shure, but ye's have been t' boardin' schule since I saw ye's, wid yer big worreds ! Nancy. Pat, hold your tongue. This letter's to go to the post- office, and I want you to take it ! Pat. Faix, Nancy, but we're not married yet, an' ye's naden't commence yer Nancy, (slaps his face) Take that ! Pat. I have it. (putting hand to face) Nancy. Now I'm going to look after my missus. You'll take the letter, won't you ? There, that's a good, dear Pat. THAT RASCAL PAT. 9 Pat. Oh, sartainly — but ar' ye's shure it's not wantin' some- thin'? Nancy. Why no — can't you read? Read the address. Pat. [business) What letter is that, Nancy ? Nancy. That's " C " — Mr. Charles Livingstone, No. 27 (Pat looks at Nancy in astonishment — business) Pat. Is that letter for him ? Nancy. Yes ! Pat. An' does yer missus love that man ? Nancy. Yes, but Pat, you're surely out of your head. Pat. [business — Pat catches Nancy up and begins dancing furiously) Whooroo ! Nancy. Pat, Pat, you're crazy ! Pat. Nancy, Nancy, we'll be shtep-brothers, so we will. Charles Livingstone! Shure, he's me masther, an' he's here now. He's here in this very house, only he's gone t' th' divil — gone t' th' divil t' shtop away for three wakes ! Nancy. Pat, you've gone mad Pat. Am I thin? Sh ! — Sh ! — Come here, Nancy. Don't spake a word for th' worreld. [leads her down) Nancy. Oh, I won't say a word. Won't it be nice? And he's here, in this very hotel ! Oh, Pat — we'll see each other so often ! Pat. [points off l. h.) Sh !— What's that? (Nancy looks off L. H.) Nancy. Where ? Pat. There ! (Pat steals kiss, and exit c. D. and l.) Nancy, [running after him) How dare you! Oh, he's gone. He's so nice. What splendid times we'll have these fine evenings, walking along the shore, [looks off L.) Oh, laws — here comes master, and in such a temper ! Enter, Major Puffjacket, l. Major. Nancy, Nancy, come here. What are you doing out here, when you know you are wanted inside ? Get me my hat and cane ! Nancy. Yes, sir. [aside) The wretch ! Exit, indignantly L. h. Major. What a miseraole place to be dragged into — I detest fashionable watering places. People have no business to be fash- ionable. Confound fashion ! I like comfort — and what comfort can one find here, packed up in a seven-by-nine room, and crowded down to a table with a pack of hungry codfish aristocracy, who grab everything within their reach, and eat as though they never saw roast beef or chicken before. That niece '11 be the death of me yet. Women are all alike, young and old — I never loved but one woman in my life, and that was my mother ! That niece of mine is crazy after that " Charles " Somebody — says he's so handsome ! Handsome — umph — dollbaby face, and poor as a IO THA T RASCAL PA T. church mouse. There's Fitznoodle, he has plenty of money — she won't look at him. What's beauty ? Fitznoodle has the beauty — money, money — that's the beauty. Egad ! she shan't have her handsome Charles Dollbaby face — I've procured all her letters — [produces large pocket-book with tetters from coat pocket) Here they are, all safe, and they shall be burned as sure as my name's PufT- jacket. (calls) Nancy ! Nancy ! Enter, Nancy, with coat, hat and cane, L. Nancy. Here they are, sir. Shall I assist you ? Major. No! I want no petticoat assistance. I'm going out. Go to your mistress ! (exit, Nancy l., angrily) Laura shall never meet that pauper. Egad, I'll soon put a stop to this business! (going towards c. d., rims into Pat, who enters) Pat. I beg your pardon, sur ! I — I — I Major, (business with cane) What do you mean, fellow ? Do you see this cane? Pat. Faix, I do. Meself'd rather see it nor fale th' like of it 'pon me head, anyhow. But ye's '11 forgive a poor boy, as wouldn't harm a hair o' yer head for th* woneld. Major. Who are you, fellow? Pat. I'm an Irishman, sur, long life t' me. Me mother was an Irishman before me. I was born in Killibrallaghan, County Tip. Me father was a Mullahawn, an' I've fourteen brothers and thir- teen sisters, an' me mother died two years before I was born, sur Major. Stop! Stop! Stop! Enough of your pedigree. Do you want work ? Pat. Work? Did ye's say work, sur? Major. Yes, work! None of your infernal gabble — Yes, or no! and quickly, too. I want a man servant; if you suit me, I'll pay you five dollars in advance. Say quickly. Will you enter my ser- vice, or not? Pat. (aside) Five dollars! Many's the day I didn't see th' likes o' that. Major. Come, what say you ? Pat. Hould on, sur. (aside) What' 11 I do if my masther comes back ? Yes, sur Major. Enough! What's your rascally name? Mind, now — make it a short one — I hate long names. None of your Thomas Augustuses — or William Henrys for me — but something short. Pat. Somethin' short! Yis, sur — somethin* short, that's what ivery Irishman likes — my name, yer honor, is Patrick McNoggerty, generally called Pat, for short. Major. Pat, good. Pat. No, sur. Not Pat Good, but Pat McNoggerty. But, it's all one in bog Irish. THAT RASCAL PAT. II Major. Now, Pat for short, bring me a plate of oysters — I'll eat them here. Stewed oysters. Mind they're hot — I'll not go out. I've changed my mind. In the meantime, I'll change my coat. Exit, l. in No. i — Pat sings. Song, "PADDY WHACK." Air — Pat Maloy. Come one an' all, both great an' small, an' listen t' me tale, The story that I'm goin' t' tell, will make ye weep an' wail ; I'm not a rich man, but I has th' clos' upon me back, An' Ireland is me country, an' me name is Paddy Whack. Me father was a Mullahawn, me mother was a Fay, An' I was born at home one night when she was gone away ; When she returned, she found me there, full flat upon me back, A jug o' whisky in me hand, an' cryin' Paddy Whack. But since that time, how things have changed, I've grown t' be a man, I've traveled over all th' airth, from Russia to Japan ; I've saved three fortunes, but they're spint, an' all gone t' th' rack, But Ireland is me country, an' me name is Paddy Whack. I've crossed th'say, for Americkay, where as I understand, Whoever pays his income tax, can be a congressman ; A congressman I'm sure t' be, bekase 1 have a knack Of makin' this free country th' home of Paddy W T hack. Well, here's a comfortable situation. Two masthers an' an old swateheart upon me hands at wanst. What' 11 I do if me other masther comes back, I dunno? [seats himself at table) five dollars, an' Nancy in th' bargain, {jumps up) Oh, Musha, thin, but I'm afther forgettin' them oysters, intirely. Exit, L. h. Enter, Laura r., in walking dress and straw hat. Laura. I do wonder where Uncle can be? I've missed a whole package of letters from my dressing-case. I was always afraid of being robbed at these public places. And poor dear Charles' letters, too. Perhaps Uncle is in the garden. Exit, c. d. and r. Enter, Pat l. h. , with dish of hot oysters. Pat. [business) Oh, bad luck t' these divils, they're as hot as love. What's that I hear? Mister Charles, an' he comin' — shure an' he musn't see these, [business) Enter, Charles C. D.,from L., hurriedly. Charles. Well, Pat, I'm back again. What are you doing? 12 THAT RASCAL PAT. Pat. Nothin', sur. [business with oysters behind hint — they burn his hands) Bad manners t' th' slippery divils Charles. What have you in your hands ? Pat. [holding dish in left hand and showing right hand') Nothin', sur, but me fisht ! Charles. The other hand ! Why, you're squirming about like a skinned eel ! Pat. (business ad. lib.) Nothin' but th' other fishst, sur. (aside) Faix, I'm burned up, intirely. Charles, (business) What's this, oysters ! (takes them) Oh, I see. You saw me coming, and knowing the walk would sharpen my appetite, thought to surprise me. That's very kind of you, Pat- rick, very kind, (eating) These oysters are uncommonly nice. I do enjoy stewed oysters. These are capital ! Pat. (greatly frightened) How'll I get him away out o' this? Charles, (eating) Pat, I've changed my mind. I'm not going away. Pat. (hands his hat — business) Ye'd betther go, sir. Ye'd betther go ! Charles, (choking) No! Confound you — I say I'm not going. Pat. (looks offL.) Murther, murther, here comes me masther from number i. Charles, (rising and taking off coat) Here, Pat, brush this coat, and bring it to me immediately. Exit in No. 2,r. Pat. (taking coat and seating himself ) Well, divil blow me, I'm diggin' me own grave, so I am. (feels into pockets) I niver can brish a coat when there does be anything in the pockets, (takes out a large picture-case and lays it on chair) Enter, Major Puff jacket — he takes off coat and hands it to Pat. Major. Here, Pat, brush this coat. Make haste — I'm in a hurry. (he throws coat to Pat, and exit in No. i) Pat. (with a coat in each hand) Shure, Bedlam has comminced. Major, (putting his head in from No. i) Bring it here ! Charles, (within No 2,R.) Pat, my coat ! Pat. (hastily lakes large pocket-book from Puffjacket's coat, puts it on chair beside Charles' picture-case, and commences brush- ing Major's coat) Yis, sur! Major, (entering) Come, come, Pat — my coat. Pat. (hastily puts Charles' picture-case in Puffjacket's coat- pocket, and pocket-book in Charles', and tries to put Charles' coat on the Major) Here it is, sur. Oh, I'm kilt immagitly. Major, (business) What the devil are you doing? That's not my coat ! Pat. (aside) Oh, murther an' turf — that's me other masther's ! {changes coats) Charles (within No. 2,k.) Pat, I say ! THAT RASCAL PAT 1 3 Major. Who's that calling? Pat. [having put Major's coat on, is trying to get him away — business) Nobody, sur, nobody. That's only the hand-organ man outside, wid a monkey. (Pat runs from place to place with fright; business) Charles. Pat! Pat. Comin', sur, comin' ! Major. What the devil do you mean? Who's that calling you? Pat. Yis, sur — yis, sur — that's a sick man, sur — he's very sick, >ur. His grandfather ax'd me would 1 wait upon him, agin he wint furninst t' get some 1 Charles, [very loudly) Pat, do you hear me? Pat. I'm comin' amagitly, sur! [going r., Major stops him) Major. No, stay here. I'll go Pat. [stopping him) No! Sh ! — Sh ! — don't go near him for th' worreld. Shure, he's got th' Colly wabbles in his diaphramic Cholorium, an' th' doctor says nobody but an Irishman can live wi din his prisence Enter, Nancy from No. 1 — her business with Pat — they whisper aside from Puffjacket. Nancy. Please, sir, my young missus wants to see you right away. She's in the garden, sir. (Puffjacket walks c. towards c. D.) Major. Pat, you go and wait upon the sick man. — I'll return in a minute. Come, Nancy, [business with Pat and Nancy) Exeunt C. D. Pat. Iverything is gittin' topsey-turvey. Faix, but I'll be fallin' upwards for th' ground nixt. Enter, Charles, angrily, from No. 2. Charles. Confound you, Pat. Are you deaf? Didn't you hear me call ? Pat. [putting his hand up to face, as if in pain) Yis, sur, but I'm kilt intirely wid th' toothache! Look at me tooth, sur, how it's aching. Wow ! Wow ! Wow ! Charles, [putting on his coat) Don't stir from here. I shall return in a few moments. Remember, if I find you gone, I'll Exit, C. D. quickly. Pat. All right, sur. [song introduced with a music cue) Enter, Major, l. h. puffing as if from rapid walking. Major. Oh, Lord ! Oh, Lord ! to call me all the way down to the shore to look at a shell. Pat, come here ! Pat. Yis, sur ! 14 THAT RASCAL PAT Major. Get me some — [feeling in his coat pocket for pocket-book) Where's my pocket-book? [takes out picture-case) What's this? Enter, Laura L., from No. I. Pat. [aside) Begorrah, I've changed th' contints o' their pockets. Major. Picture ! How came this in my pocket ? Laura. [looking at picture anxiously, over Puffjacket's shoul- ders) Why, Uncle, where did you get that? [aside) It's the one I gave Charles. Major, [putting the picture at Pat) Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Pat. [takes the picture and looks from it to Major, and from Major to it) Ton me sowl, sur, nobody' d iver think o' takin that for yerself. Major. How came that in my pocket? Answer me, how came it there? Where's my pocket-book? Pat. [aside) What'll I do at all, at all? Major. Do you hear me ? How came this in my pocket ? Pat. Hould on, sur, hould on! Shure, I'll tell ye's all about it. Ye's see, there's a gintleman here, sur, beyant, an' he came t' me, an' sis he, Pat, sis he. Sur, sis I Major. I want nothing to do with your "says I and says he" — tell me how this picture came in my pocket? Pat. Well, thin — that's what I'm comin' to — brish me coat, sis he, I will, sis I — an' so, d' ye's mind, I — I beg yer pardon, sur, would ye's let me see that picture? Major. There it is ! Pat. That picture, sir — [looks at it comically) Why, that picture belongs t' me ! Laura, [with surprise) To you ! Pat. Yis, miss — that picture was th' last gift of me poor, dead masther [cries comically) Laura. Dead ! Pat. Yis, miss — me poor dead masther loved that picture betther nor he loved his grandmother — but, he died, ma'am, he died wid his lips upon the shaddy o' that beautiful lady Business — crying ad. lib. — Laura gives him money, in order to solicit information. Laura. Did he love her, then ? [very pitifully) Pat. Yis, ma'am — he loved her altogether — whin he was 'ponhis death-bid, he sis Pat, sis he, take that. I will, sis I. Take that, sis he, an if ye's iver mate wid th' darlin' crayture, tell her, sis he, tell her I died wid me heart batin' 'pon th' lips o' th* swate face ov her. [crying &>c. ) THAT RASCAL PAT. 1 5 Major, {giving him money) What was your master' s name ? Pat. [nervously) Charles Livingstone — {looking off c. D. and l. aside) An' I'm ixpictin' ivery minute t' see him risin' from th' dead, [cries comically — ad. lib. ) Major, {giving him money) Charles Livingstone, dead ! (Laura is dreadfully pale) Where did he die ? Pat. He died, sur, he died in th' house where he now lives, sur. Laura, {giving him money) Did he seem attached to the original of this picture ? Pat. Yis, ma'am, he — {looks off c. d., aside) Begorrah, here comes me other masther Major. Come, Laura, don't cry — let us go into the open air — don't cry, my dear — you ought to be very happy to get rid of such a worthless lover. Exeunt, L. H. Pat. {business) Oh murther, murther, here comes me old masther — Now for th* divil, intirely. Enter, Charles, C. D.,from L., with pocket-book in hand. Charles. You vagabond Irishman, what the devil is this you've put in my pocket? Pat. That pocket-book, sir — There's a gintleman, sur, a gintle- man as shtops here in th' house, an' he came t' me t'day, an' sis he, waiter, sis he — thinkin' I was one o' th' common waiters, sur — well, thin, thinkin' as how I might aim an honest penny, here I am, sur, sis I. Waiter, sis he, take this, an' kape it agin I comes back, sis he — I will, sis I. An' sur, t' make a long shtory short, he left th' pocket-book wid me, an' wint away, an' Charles, {angrily) Yes, yes, but how came it in my pocket? Pat. Ye's see, sur — thinkin' as how I might be afther loosin' it, I put it int' ye' re coat pocket, an' I forgot t' mention it t' ye's, sur. Charles, {seating himself at table and examining letters) What's this? Letters! As I live, they're mine — The very ones I wrote Laura, {rises — business) Pat, come here! Who gave you this? Answer, or I'll break every bone in your Irish body. Pat. Th' gintleman, sur, th' gintleman Charles. Well, well, what's all this to do with it? Pat. He tould me not t' part wid thim, sur — for t' kape th' likes o' thim agin he com'd back, 'kase he wouldn't part wid 'em for the whole worreld, tho' it might be lined wid praities, an' soaked wid butthermilk an' whisky. Charles. Where is this man ? Pat. Shure he's Charles, {aside) I see it all — I'm duped ! She loves me no longer. She's been amusing herself with our correspondenc And he too — curse him, he's been laughing over my letters — I'll be even with him yet. I'll meet him, and — but 1 love her. {rises) Oh, I shall go mad. Pat, come here ! 1 6 THAT RASCAL PAT Pat. Yis, sur. Charles, {furiously) Go to the devil, [business — Charles rushes about room ferociously) Pat. 'Pon th' sowl o' me fut, I think it's in that direction I'm goin'. Charles, [seating himself at table, and examining letters) If I could only find his name — perhaps it may be here. Yes, here it is — Puffjacket, Major Timothy Puffjacket. Puffjacket ! A pretty cognomen. I'll puff his jacket for him. I see it all — some officer, curse his ugly body, (enter, Major, l. h., not seeing Charles) But I'll find him, young or old, he shall fight me ! (Charles slaps letters down ferociously on table) * Major, [who has been looking at letters) I beg your pardon, sir, but that has much the appearance of my pocket-book. Charles, [rising) Your pocket-book, sir, your pocket-book ? Major. Yes, sir. My servant, through some Charles. Your name is, then Major. Puffjacket, sir, Major Timothy Puffjacket. Charles, (rising) I knew it! I knew it! Puffjacket, you're a villain ! Major, [business with cane) A villain, sir ! A villain ! What do you mean, sir? what do you mean ? Do you know that I am an officer, sir — an officer in the army ? Charles. I repeat it, sir, I repeat it ! Puffjacket — officer, or no officer, you're a villain and a coward, and, sir, you shall either fight me, or demme, I'll publish you. Major. Young man Charles. Where the devil did you get these letters? Where did you get them — you infernal old villain, how did you get them ? Major. Letters! Infernal villain ! Letters! Young man Charles. Yes, sir, letters! Where did you get them? How came they in your possession? [business) But I'll waste no more time in words with such an old ass. Here's my card. In five minutes I shall return — meet me here — I demand satisfaction, sir, satisfaction! Remember, in five minutes, you old fool, in five minutes. Exit, Charles, c. d., ferociously. Major, [excitedly) Villain — coward — knave — old fool. Who can this madman be? [looks at card) What's this? Livingstone! Charles Livingstone — the man for whom Laura has so often pleaded and not dead? This is very strange! Pat! Pat! Where th' devil is that servant of mine ? A pretty mess I've got myself into ! Livingstone not dead, and Laura crying her eyes out over thai infernal Irishman's concocted story. Everything, everybod) seems conspiring against me. Pat. [poking in his head from R. h.) Wor ye's callin' me, sur? Major, [highly excited) Pat, come here ! [aside) I'll have this Irishman break every bone of his rascal body. Pat, can you fight ? THAT RASCAL PAT. iy Pat. {business) Is it fight? Whooroo ! Major. Listen to me! In five minutes a man will enter that door. Be ready for him — here, take my stick, and beat him well. As soon as the deed is accomplished you shall have twenty dollars. Do you understand ? Pat. Twenty dollars ! Ar' ye's particular, sur, if I breaks a few bones ? Major. No, the more the better ! Will you do it ? Pat. Do it ! Begorrah, I'm an Irishman. Give me twenty dollars an' I'll wollop th' whole worreld, an' blacken th' two eyes o' me grandmother ! Major. Here's half the amount in advance. Be very cautious — take this stick and Pat. Niver fear, sur — oh, I'll give him th' worth o' th' money. Major. Take this cane Pat. No, sur — shure I couldn't fight wid th' likes o' that — it's too shlender in th' waist, an' by far too long. Hould on, hould on, yer honor, an' I'll show ye's th* darlin' ould stick. Exit, in door No. 2. Major. I must get away, or that furious young man may return, and there's no knowing what the consequence may be. Ah !< [looks offz. D. and l. ) I hear footsteps — it may be he. Exit, quickly in door No. 1. Pat. (enters from No. 2, with shillalah) Oh, begorrah, but there's as tight bit o' stick as iver doubled a boy's joys, or helped t' share his sorrows. It's many's th' bruken nose that's sint wid a rap out o' that. But where's me Brigadier Colonel ? Bejabers, but he's a bould man — only he's away from home, an' he's bitter contint t' pay twinty dollars t' th' likes o' me, nor pay it t' th' doctor. What'd I do if me masther from No. 2 would come in now ? For fear he'd come, I'll wollop this ganious here on th' shpot. The ould masther '11 think I'm at him, an' I'll kape up th' hubbaboo. Now for th' scrimmage. Pat changes his voice and pretends to carry on a conversation — he represents a conversation with a man entering C. D., and as Puff- jacket attempts to peep from door No. 1, Pat gets in front and keeps door shut. Voice, [by Pat, placing hand to face) Where's your master? [still retaining brogue, but speaking in hoarse voice) Pat. He's gone, so he is. Voice. Did he leave any word ? Pat. Shure he did, thin. He said he expicted a bla'guard here, an' I'mt* ax him t' dirty one o' these chairs wid his dirty body Voice. What do you mean, fellow? Pat. I mane that ye're paid for, an' by raison o' vartue inwested in me, I'm t' wollop th' divil out o' ye's. [during this conversation, 1 8 THA T RASCAL PA T. Puffjacket frequently attempts to open door, but is prevented by Pat — at end of conversation, Pat pretends to be beating his adver- sary, and as Puffjackft attempts to peep out, Pat strikes door with his stick, all the while keeping up the talk) Take that, ye bla'guard etc. etc. [then running quickly to c. d., as if kicking him out) So ye's have enough ! Be off out o' that, ye poor broken-nos'd divil ye's. Puffjacket runs out quickly and attempts to look off c. d. — Pat gets before him — business. Major. Where is he ? Pat. Oh, sur, I broke both his legs an' blacken'd his nose and two eyes — an' he's runnin' like th' divil, for fear o' bein' hurted — but — [standing before Puffjacket) Th' money, sur, th' money Major. There it is — [counts it out to him) One, three, eight, ten — ten dollars, and I don't begrudge it either. You're sure you gave it to him well ? Pat. [business with money) Faith, I gave th' bla'guard th' worth o' th' money. Major, [gleefully) Very good, Patrick, [going toward No. J.) If that vagabond should return Pat. Oh, niver fear. I'll dust his jacket for him. Major. Remember — I shall return shortly. Exit, L. H. in No. I. Pat. [seats himself at table and begins counting money) Well, this thing can't kape on foriver. Oh, luk at th' money ! What'llldo wid all this money? Shure, but I'll go back t' ould Ireland, an' I'll buy a horse an' jaunting-car, an' it's meself'll be a gintleman out an' out. Faix, I'll marry all th' purty gurrels in County Tipperary, an' build a shtone monument t' th' mimory o' ivery widdy and orphan, [rises and conceals money qnickly) Murther, here comes me masther from No. 2. He thinks he's kilt intirely, an' I'll be afther lettin' him think so. Exit, R. H. Enter, Charles, c. d. from l. hastily. Charles. Now, sir ! [looks about and misses Puffjacket) Gone! I might have known it. Why didn't I shoot him on the spot ? Where the devil's that infernal servant of mine ? Pat, I say, Pat ! Pat. (entering) Here I am, sir. Charles. Why don't you come when I call you? Where's that old fool who gave you the pocket-book ? Pat. Yis, sur. 'Pon me sowl, he is an ould fool ! Charles. Where is he ? Pat. Gone t' dinner, sur. Gone t' dinner, and won't be back for a wake. Major, [within No. i. calling) Pat ! Pat ! Pat. [business) Comin' sir, comin' THAT RASCAL PAT 19 Charles. Where are you going, do you hear me ? Who's that calling you ? Major, [without') Pat, I say, Pat, you rascal! Pat. [running about) Oh, I'll be kilt ammagitly. Charles, [business) Stay here, I say. Who's that calling ? Pat. I'll go and see, sur Charles. No ! stay here — do you understand me ? Pat. [aside) How th' divil '11 I get out o' this ? Charles. Pat, go bring my Pat. [running quickly towards No. 2.) Yis, sir! Yis, sur ! Exit, R. Charles. Here, you infernal fool — you don't know what you are going after ! Enter, Puff j acket from No. 1, in a rage. Major. Pat you villian — [sees Charles, who stands with back toward him, and not recognizmg him) I beg your pardon, sir, I was under the impression that I heard my servant, and Charles, [recognizing him) So, sir, you've come, have you ? Well, I'm ready. If you are a gentleman, you will not refuse me the satisfaction I demand ! If you are a coward, you shall receive the punishment your black-hearted proceedings deserve. Major, [greatly astonished at recognizing Charles) But — but — your legs are not broken ! You are not Charles. So, sir — you think to escape me by jesting ? but you shall not — [catching hold of him) You shall not ! Business ad lib. — Puffjacket screams — Charles beats him around room — Laura and Nancy rush on from No. 1, Pat enters cautiously from No. 2, and hides under table. Laura. Uncle ! Uncle ! What in the world does this all mean ? Charles, [recognizing Laura) What, Laura here! [runs and embraces her — Puffjacket separates them) Can this be your uncle ? Laura, [still clinging to Charles) Where did you come from ? I thought you dead. Major. Laura, go in your room — this gentleman and myself have some private business to settle. Damme, I'll shoot him any- how now ! Pat. [under table) I wish they'd blow out aich other's brains. Charles, [aside) I see it all — this is her unc'e. A pretty ass I've made of myself. Pat. [under table) Begorrah, ye's may well say that ! Charles. I trust, sir, you will accept my humble apologies. Believe me, sir, I am ready and willing to make any atonennent you may demand ! 20 THAT RASCAL PAT. Nancy. It's that Pat ! I'm sure it's Pat ! He's at the bottom of this. Laura. Dear Uncle, if Charles has been guilty of any misbe- havior, you may depend upon it, he has been, in some manner, misled. Major, {angrily) Do you pretend to tell me, Miss, that I gave him cause? No ! He called me an old fool, and now — I'll fight him anyhow, [business) Charles. Really, sir — can I offer no apology? Major. None, sir, none! Come, Laura, get in here ! {attempts to lead her in No. i) Pat. [under table) All right ! They'll have it out yet. Laura. Uncle, I am totally unconscious of the cause of these strange proceedings, but I solemnly tell you, once for all, that I will never marry that detestable Fitznoodle ! I love but one man in this wide world, and he stands before you. [kneels) Dear Uncle, for my sake, you will forgive him, won't you ? Major. But he called me an old fool ! Charles. Believe me, sir — had my servant not misinformed me Laura. But you will pardon him, dear Uncle ! Pat. Oh murther, murther ! Major. You apologize, then, for what you said? Charles. I do, I do. Had I known to whom I was addressing those words of insult, sir, believe me Major. And you love my niece ? Charles. I do, sir. I love her more than life. Major, [aside) What am I saying? I shall return to the city at once! Where's that rascal Pat ? Pat! Pat! Pat! (Charles and Laura retire up, and converse) Pat. [aside, creeping from table) How th' divil '11 I get out o' this, I dunno ? Major. Pat ! Pat ! Where is that Pat ? [very nervously) Pat. [aside, trying to get off) Begorrah, I'll be afther getting out o' this shcrape. Major, [seeing Pat, and catching him by the ear, brings him down) Where are you going? Did you hear me call? Charles, [seeing Pat and coming down) Pat, you vagabond, where have you been ? Did you hear me call you ? Major. Excuse me sir, this is my servant ! Charles. I beg your pardon— that man is in my employ — I brought him here from the city as my servant, and Major. Your servant! Pat c. and between Charles and Major, who look from one to the other in the greatest state of surprise. Pat. [striking a position) Most potent, grave, an' riverent THAT RASCAL PAT. 21 sayniers — me very noble an' approved good masters ; that I've Major, [with anger) Silence ! Pat. I'm black in the face wid shame. Charles. Excuse me, sir, but how came this fellow in your ser- vice ? Pat. I begs yer pardon, sur. It's an optical delusion altogether. I'm me twin brother — we're very much alike, sur. Laura. Oh, Uncle, let the poor fellow go. Major. Is this the man you have sworn to love ? Laura, [kneeling) Yes dear Uncle. Major, {handing her over to Charles) Take her, take her — I always swore she'd be the death of me — and it may as well be soon as late. Pat, come here. (Pat approaches) Pat, you're a Pat. No, sur — I'm not! Major. I'll trouble you for that money, fellow ! Pat. Ye'd betther let me kape it, sur, 'kase Master Charles '11 be afther marryin' his swateheajt, here, an' as I'm t' add another head t' me body, an' become th' father ov a family, [leading Nancy down) why, ye see, meself and me buttercup here '11 be livin' wid ye's, and thin, d'ye mind, I'll be able t' sarve both o' me masthers. Major. Well, well, you shall remain. Pat. Thank ye, ye' re honor. An' now that i very thing's settled wid me two masthers here, I'd beg t' throw meself upon th' kind- ness o' me patrons t' th' fore, an' airnestly hope they'll not for- get — "That Rascal Pat." POSITION OF CHARACTERS AT FALL OF CURTAIN. No. 2. No. i. Laura. Pat. Nancy. Major. Charles. r. l. CURTAIN. NEW PLAYS. PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. MURDER WILL OUT. A farce in one act, for six female characters, by L. M. Elwyn. Time of playing, 30 minutes. A breezy and effective farce, ia which half a dozen bright girls can delight an audience wiih half an hour of innocent fun. Grandmother Stiles, and her demure but frolicsome grand-daughter, are excellent characters ; Dinah, the colored cook, is amusing, and Bridget O 1 Flaherty is a funny Irish girl — her quarrels with Dinah being exceedingly laughable. The attempts cf Lena and her merry friends, May and Minnie, to hoodwink the old 1 idv, and tlieir final exposure, will keep the audience in a roar of laughter. OLD CRONIES. A comedietta in one act, for two male characters, by S. Theyke Smith. Time of playing, 30 minutes. This is an unusually bright and clever little play, in which a couple of comedians can furnbh a half-hour of pure, unrestricted fun. Dr. Jacks, the mild-mannered old gentleman, is in happy contra t with Capt. Pigeon, a bluff, gruff and noisy old sea officer. Both are excruciatingly funny, and their sorrowful attempt to write a joint-stock love letter is one of the richest bits of humor ever presented. Old Cronies will prove a most acceptable afterpiece, and, if at all well done, can not fail to send the audience home in good humor. APRIL FOOLS. A farce in one act, for three male characters, by W. F. Chat- m'an. Time of playing, 30 minutes. For a half-hour of roaring fun this farce has few equals. It is brisk, bright, and full of highly humorous situations. The characters are exceedingly well drawn — the nervous Mr. Dufinbrowne forming a marked contrast to the loud James Smith, and bo'.h differing widely from the sad and sorrowful Joseph Smith. Each imagines that the others are foolish, crazy or drunk. There are laughable blunders and side-splitting complications. Misunderstandings follow one another in rapid succession, and the mystery grows deeper and still deeper. Finally, when everybody gets into a hopeless tangle, it is discovered that all three are v'cdms of a practical joker, who has made them "April Fools." MISS MADCAP. A comedietta in one act, by Charles Townsend, for two male and one female characters. Time of playing, 20 minutes. This bright and breezy little play sparkles like champagne, and is just the thing for a curtain- raiser or an afterpiece. The story is well told, and the characters are well drawn. The youth who pretends to be a "tough," the young man who pretends to be a "dude," and the young lady who pretends to be a " tomboy," all give scope for excellent acting. The piece has been played with pronounced success under the author's management. THE DARKEY WOOD DEALER. A farce in one act, by Charles Townsend, for two male and one female characters. Time of playing, 20 minutes. A roaring farce in this author's happiest vein, totally unlike the ordinary "Ethi- opian" plays. Each character is first-class. The "wood-dealer," beyond doubt, is one of the best negro parts on the stage. The Deacon is a highly-amusing old man, and Mrs. Deacon (this p'"/c may be played by a young man), a tremen- doushit as a "strong-minded" femsi.e. This farce is certain to keep an audience in a roar, and has proved a sure hit as played under the author's management. AN OLD PLANTATION NIGHT. PRICE, 25 CENTS. A musical and dramatic entertainment for four male and four female characters, forming a double quartet. This is not a negro minstrel show, contains no boisterous jokes nor conundrums, and is without a vestige of "Tambo" or "Bones," or the conventional stage darkey. It is a simple but vivid representation of life " in de quarters," embellished with song and story illustrating some of the quaint super- stitions and frolicsome merry-makings of the mellow-voiced race. Thoroughly bright throughout, the text is uncommonly well written, and the succession of inci- dents skilfully contrived, while its transitions from grave to gay can be made wonder- fully effective by intelligent actors. The scene, a simple interior, can be arranged en any platform without set scenery ; some old garments and a little discarded finery will suffice for the costumes ; the " properties " are few and simple, and the music is within the capacity of fairly good voices, such as any ordinary church choir contains. Wholly novel in conception, and singularly clever in arrangement, An Old Planta- tion Night will prove highly acceptable to audiences of all kinds in church, school, lyceum, or parlor. Synopsis : Uncle 'Rastus and Thomas Jefferson. — " Befo' de Wah." — " Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." — An influx of visitors. — Aunt Marthy's Story of the little possum. — The rabbit cross. — Limber Jim. — The Sunflower Song. — The stylishness of some folks.— The little white goat on the mountain. — "The Gospel Train." — Polly and the screech-owl. — A husking bee. — The Corn Song. — Little Aaron's battlements. —Old Dan Tucker. %£T" Copies of the above will be mailed, post-paid, to any address, on receipt 0/ the specified prices. rjg% HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. H. THEYRE SMITH'S PLAYS. Price, 15 Cents Each. A CASE FOR EVICTION. One male and two female characters— light comedian, lady comedian and servant. Interior scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing] thirty minutes. This breezy little play is so true to life that everybody enjoj s it and, as a maiur of course, it is always highly successful. A young husband and wife have a visitor who makes them twice glad— glad when he conies and doubly glad when he goes. The difficulties that the young couple experience in getting rid of their guest, without hurting his feelings, are laughable in the extreme" The guest, by the way, is heard but not seen— which fact gives rise to much comic il busines*. No scenery whatever is required; and as every-day costumes are worn, the piece can be produced successfully without the slightest trouble. CUT OFF WITH A SHILLING. Two male and one female characters- juvenile man, old man and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room ; modern cos- tumes ; tune of playing, forty-five minutes. An exceedingly popular play, offering unusual opportunities tor good acting. A young man who has married without his uncle's consent is cut off with a shilling. But the uncle meets, his nephew's wife — not knowing who she is— and is so captivated by her wit, grace and beautv that, on learning who she is, he changes his mind, reinstates his nephew and allows the latter to reMtrn the shilling. The dialogue is witty, the action rapid, and the situations effective. A HAPPY PAIR. One male, one female character — both light comedy. Scene, a nicely furnished room ; modern costumes ; time of playing, forty-five minutes. A brisk little play, full of action and giving numerous opportunities for clever work. While entirely free from all "low-comedy" business, it contains enough humor to be highly diverting. The quarrels of the " happy pair," and their final recon- ciliation can not fail to please, and the play is sure to give entire satisfaction either in the parlor or as a " curtain raiser" or afterpiece. MY LORD IN LIVERY. Four male and three female characters— light comedian, low comedian, old man, utility, lady comedian and two walking ladies. Parlor scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing, fifty minutes. An unusually bright piece brimming over with wit and humor. The three young ladies who permit a comic servant to meet them on terms of equality under the belief that he is a nobleman masquerading like themselves — the happy-go-lucky young nobleman who is mistaken for a burglar — the comical old butler — all have a vast deal of laughable by-play and business. This play was a pronounced success in New York, and has been presented to crowded houses in all the principal cities of this country. The ease with which it may be staged, and the invariable success which attends it, make My Lord in Livery peculiarly adapted to the use of amateurs. UNCLE'S WILL. Two male and one female characters — juvenile lead, old man and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room; costumes, modern ; time of playing, thirty minutes. This brilliant little play is a prime favorite in both Europe and America, and is admirably adapted to the use of amateurs. The wit flashes like a diamond, and the dainty bits of humor scattered here and there keep up a constant ripple of pleased excitement. Each character is a star part. The dash- ing young naval officer, the comical old man — in which Mr. Davidge made :i pronounced hit at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, New York— and the bright and spirited young lady, all are first class and worthy of the best talent in any dramatic club. WHICH IS WHICH. Three male, three female characters— juvenile man, old man, utility, two juvenile ladies and old woman. Scene, a studio; costumes, modern; time of plaving, fifty minutes. Excellent and much patronized by nmateurs. The amusing perplexities of the poor arti>t, who can not tell which of his visitors is the heiress and which her penniless friend— who mistakes one for the other— who makes love to the rich girl, supposing that she is poor, and deter- mines to marry her in spite of her supposed poverty — and who finally discovers that he has proposed to the heiress after all— combine to make this a delightful P la Y- IW A ny of the above will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address, on receipt cfthe annexed prices. As these arc several editions of these plays offered for sale, good, bad and indifferent, purchasers will consult their own interests, when order- ing, by specifying Roorbach's edition. ^JSgi HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St, New York. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN (NEW version.) A MELODRAMA IN FIVE ACTS, BY CHAS. TOWNSEND. PRICE, 15 CENTS. Seven male, five female characters (some of the characters play two parts). Time of playing, 2% hours. This is a new acting edition of a prime old favorite, so simplified in the stage-setting as to be easily represented by dramatic clubs and travelling companies with limited scenery. Uncle Tom's Cabin is a play that never grows old ; being pure and faultless, it commands the praise of the pulpit and sup- port of the press, while it enlists the favor of all Christians and heads of families. It will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens, and therefore is sure to fill any hal'. Synopsis of Incidents: Act I. — Scene /.—The Shelby plantation in Kentucky. — George and Eliza. — The curse of Slavery. — The resolve. — Off for Canada. — " I won't be taken — I'll die first." — Shelby ?nd Haley. — Uncle Tom and Harry must be sold. — The poor mother. — "Sell my boy!" — The faithful slave. Scene //.—Gumption Cute. — " By Gum • " — Marks, the lawyer. — A mad Yankee. — George in disguise. — A friend in need. — The human bloodhounds. — The escape. — " Hooray fer old Var- mount ! " Act II.— St. Clare's elegant home.— The fretful wife. — The arrival.— Little Eva. — Aunt Ophelia and Topsy. — " O, Golly ! I'se so wicked ! " — St. Clare's opinion. — "Benighted innocence." — The stolen gloves. — Topsy in her glory. Act III. — The angel child. — Tom and St. Clare. — Topsy's mischief. — Eva's re- quest. — The promise. — pathetic scene. — Death of Eva. — St. Clare's grief. — " For thou art gone forever." Act IV. — The lonely house. — Tom and St. Clare. — Topsy's keepsake. — Deacon Perry and Aunt Ophelia. — Cute on deck. — A distant relative. — The hungry visitor. — Chuck full of emptiness." — Cute and the Deacon. — A row. — A fight. — Topsy to the rescue. — St. Clare wounded. — Death of St. Clare. — " Eva— Eva — I am coming " Act V. — Legree's plantation on the Red River. — Home again. — Uncle Tom's noble heart. — " My soul ain't yours, Mas'r." — Legree'scruel work.— Legree and Cassy. — The whiteslave. — A frightened brute. — Legree's fear. — A life of sin. — Marks and Cute. — A new scheme.— The dreadful whipping of Uncle Tom.— Legree punished at last.— Death of Uncle Tom.— Eva in Heaven. THE WOVEN WEB. A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS, BY CHAS. TOWNSEND. PRICE, 15 CENTS. Seven male, three female characters, viz. : leading and second juvenile men, so- ciety villain, walking gentleman, eccentric comedian, old man, low comedian, leading juvenile lady, soubrette and old woman. Time of playing, 2^ hours. The Woven Web is a flawless drama, pure in thought and action, with excellent characters, and pre- senting no difficulties in costumes or scenery. The story is captivating, with a plot of the most intense and unflagging interest, rising to a natural climax of wonderful power. The wit is bright and sparkling, the action terse, sharp and rapid. In touch- ing the great chord of human sympathy, the author has expended that rare skill which has given life to every great play known to the stage. This play has been produced under the author's management with marked success, and will prove an unquestionable attraction wherever presented. Synopsis of Incidents: Act I.— Parkhurst & Manning's law office, New York. — Tim's opinion. — The young lawyer. — " Majah Billy Toby, sah ! " — Love and law. — Bright prospects. — Bertha's misfortune. — A false friend. — The will destroyed. — A cunning plot. — Weaving the web. — The unseen witness. — The letter. — Accused. — Dishonored. Act II. — Winter quarters. — Colonel Hastings and Sergeant Tim. — Moses. — A message. — Tim on his dignity. — The arrival. — Playing soldier. — The secret. — The promise. — Harry in danger. — Love and duty. — The promise kept. — "Saved, at the loss of my own honor ! " Act III.— Drawing-room at Falconer's.— Reading the news.—" Apply to Judy ! " —Louise's romance. — Important news. — Bertha's fears.— Leamington's arrival.— Drawing the web. — Threatened. — Plotting. — Harry and Bertha. — A fiendish lie. — Face to face.—" Do you know him ? "—Denounced.—" Your life shall be the penalty ! " — Startling tableau. Act IV.— At Uncle Toby's.— A wonderful climate. — An impudent rascal. — A bit of history.— Woman's wit. — Toby Indignant. — A quarrel. — Uncle Toby's evidence. — Leamington's last trump.— Good news.— Checkmated.— The telegram.— Breaking the web. — Sunshine at last. \m Copies mailed, postpaid, to mny address, on receipt 0/ the annexed prices. Jg% NEW ENTERTAINMENTS. THE JAPANESE WEDDING. A costume pantomime representation of the Wedding Ceremony in Japanese high life. The company consists of the bride and groom, their parents, six bridesmaids, and the officiating personage appropriately called the ' - Go-between." There are various formalities, including salaams, tea-drinking, eating rice-cakes, and giving presents. No words are spoken. The ceremony (which occupies about 50 minutes), with the " tea-room," fills out an evening well, though music and other attractions may be added. Can be represented by young ladies alone, if preferred. Price, 25 Cents. AN EVENING WITH PICKWICK. A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Introduces the Pickwick Club, the Wardles of Dingley Dell, the Fat Boy, Alfred Jingle, Mrs. Leo Hunter, Lord Mutanhed and Count Smorltork, Arabella Allen and Bob Allen, Bob Sawyer, Mrs. and Master Bardell, Mrs. Cluppins, Mrs. Weller, Stiggins, Tony Weller, Sam Weller, and the Lady Traveller. Price, 25 cents. AN EVENING WITH COPPERFIELD. A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Introduces Mrs. Copperfield, Davie, the Peggotys, the Murdstones, Mrs. Gummidge, Little Em'ly, Barkis, Betsey Trotwood, Mr. Dick and his kite, Steerforth, the Creakles, Traddles, Rosa Dartle, Miss Mowcher, Uriah Heep and his Mother, the Micawbers, Dora and Gyp, and the wooden-legged Gatekeeper. Price, 25 cents. These " Evenings with Dickens " can be represented in whole or in part, require but little memorizing, do not demand experienced actors, are not troublesome to pre- pare, and are suitable for performance either on the platform or in the drawing room. THE GYPSIES' FESTIVAL. A Musical Entertainment for Young People. Introduces the Gypsy Queen, Fortune Teller, Yankee Peddler, and a Chorus of Gypsies, of any desired number. The scene is supposed to be a Gypsy Camp. The costumes are very pretty, but simple ; the dialogue bright ; the music easy and tuneful ; and the drill movements and calisthenics are graceful. Few properties and no set scenery required, so that the entertainment can be represented on any platform. Price, 25 cents. THE COURT OF KING CHRISTMAS. A CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENT. The action takes place in Santa Claus land on Christmas eve, and represents the bustling preparations of St. Nick and his attendant worthies for the gratification of all children the next day. The cast may include as many as 36 characters, though fewer will answer, and the enter- tainment represented on a platform, without troublesome properties. The cos- tumes are simple, the incidental music and drill movements graceful and easily managed, the dialogue uncommonly good, and the whole thing quite above the average. A representation of this entertainment will cause the young folks, from six to sixty, fairly to turn themselves inside out with delight, and, at the same time, enforce the important moral of Peace and Good Will. Price, 25 cents. RECENTLY PUBLISHED. ILLUSTRATED TABLEAUX FOR AMATEURS. A new series of Tableaux Vivants, by Martha C. Weld. In this series each description is accompanied with a full-page illustration of the scene to be represented. PARI' I.— MISCELLANEOUS TABLEAUX.— Contains General Introduction, 12 Tableaux and 14 Illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. PART II.— MISCELLANEOUS TABLEAUX.— Contains Introduction, 12 Ta- bleaux and 12 illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. SAVED FROM THE WRECK. A drama in three acts. Eight male, three female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. BETWEEN TWO FIRES. A comedy-drama in three acts. Eight male, thre« female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. A drama in five acts. Nine male, three female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. A LESSON IN ELEGANCE. A comedy in one act. Four female characters. Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. WANTED, A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. A farce in one act. Six male characters. Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. SECOND SIGHT. A farcical comedy in one act. Four male, one female charac- ter. Time, one hour. Price, *5 Cents. THE TRIPLE WEDDING. A drama in three acts. Four male, four female characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. Price, 15 cents. "^"Any of the above will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address, on receipt 0/ the annexed prices. „Jgl HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. L I £5^5£_ CONG KESS HELMER'S ACTOR'S MAKE-U ■ i J!! i S , B™ # ^ ?ra*tical and Systematic Guide to the Art of Making up for the Stag*, PRICE, 25 CENTS. m * - — i With: exhaustive treatment on the Use of Theatrical "Wigs and Beards, The Make-up and its requisite materials, the different features and their management, typical character. Masks, etc With Special Hints to Ladies. Designed for the use of Actors and Amateurs, and for both Ladies and Gentle- men. Copiously Illustrated. CONTENTS. I. Theatrical Wigs. — The Style and Form of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. The Color and Shading of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. Directions for Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly. II. Theatrical Beards. — How to fashion a Beard out of crepe hair. How to make Beards of Wool. The growth of Beard simu- lated. III. The Make-up. — A successful Character Mask, and how to make it. Perspiration during performance, how removed. IV. The Make-up Box. — Grease Paints. Grease paintL in sticks; Flesh Cream ; Face Powder; How to use face powder as a liquid cream ; The various shades of face powder. Water Cos- xnetique. Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa Butter. Cr&pe Hair a?d Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. "Old Man's" Rouge. "Juvenile" Rouge. Spirit Gum. Email Noir. Bear's Gre*ase. Eyebrow Pencils. Artist's Stomps. Powder Puffs. Hares' Feet. Camels'-hair Brushes. V. The Features and their Treatment.— The Eyes : blind- ness. The Eyelids. The Eyebrows j How to paint out an eyebrow or moustache; How to paste on eyebrows ; How to regulate bushy eye- brows. The Eyelashes : To alter the appearance of the eyes. The Ears. The Nose : A Roman nose; How to use the nose putty; A pug nose ; An African nose ; a large nose apparently reduced in size. The Mouth and Lips : a juvenile mouth ; an old mouth ; a sensuous mouth { a satirical mouth ; a one-sided mouth ; a merry mouth ; A sullen mouth. The Teeth. The Neck, Arms, Hands and Finger- nails : Fingernails lengthened. Wrinkles: Friendliness and Sullen- ness indicated by wrinkles. Shading. A Starving character. A Cut in the Face. A Thin Face Made Fleshy. VI. Typical Character Masks. — The Make-up for Youth Dimpled cheeks. Manhood. Middle Age. Making upas a Drunk- ard : One method ; another method. Old Age. Negroes. Moors. Chinese. King Lear, Shylock, Macbeth. Richelieu. Statuary. "Clowns. VII. Special Hints to Ladies.— The Make-up. Theatrical Wigs and Hair Goods. Sent by mail, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the price. HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray Street, New York.