LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
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 V 
 
 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 NOT 
 
 By H. W. L. 
 
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 .-.^\Ti OF ',,, 
 
 CHICAGO: 
 
 1880. 
 Orders Supplied by the Western News Co. 
 
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 Copyright, 1880. 
 
PREFATORY REMARKS. 
 
 The author begs to state to his Republican 
 readers (and, no doubt, admirers) that he has 
 confined the first five chapters of this pamphlet 
 wholly to facts elicited from Republican data, 
 and should there, perchance, be found anything 
 In those chapters which, seemingly, partakes of 
 the nature of that, just at present, most unde- 
 sirable amusement with Republicans, known by 
 the popular phrase of "mud-slinging," it will, 
 therefore, be understood that it is only Repub- 
 lican mud. The author further begs to express 
 his regrets that, in sticking so close to the 
 Republican records, and thereby meriting their 
 choicest encomiums for his fidelity, he is com- 
 pelled to use many words that are rather more 
 expressive than elegant, or do violence to the 
 authorities. He trusts that his frankness and 
 
4 PREFATORr REMARKS. 
 
 great sincerity will be appreciated when he adds, 
 that after it has conducted five successive cam- 
 paigns so entirely upon the merits of opprobrious 
 epithets (notably offensive) the Republican party 
 suddenly offers a most refreshing study in its 
 present virtuous amazement at anything of the 
 kind, and a most interesting spectacle, surely, in 
 its endeavor to pose as the sublimely respectable. 
 Finally, it is trusted that this little book will 
 be received as an expression of the author's con- 
 gratulations to Republicans upon the fact that, 
 though on the very eve of their nominations their 
 sun is setting (perhaps to rise no more forever), 
 they may discover, through its last, lingering, 
 golden rays, that "their chickens are coming home 
 to roost." 
 
We come! Why shrink? Canst not our presence brook? 
 Now we approach: so, if thou canst, remain! 
 
 —Goethe's Faust, Part Second, Act V. 
 
 What hands are here? Ha! they pluck out mine eyes! 
 Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood 
 
 Clean from my hands? ,^ , ., ^ . r/ c tt 
 
 —Macbeth, Act II, Scene II. 
 
 "See where his grace stands 'tween two clergymen! 
 
 * * 
 
 * * * 
 
 And, see, a book of prayer in his hand. 
 True ornaments to know a holy man — " 
 ******* 
 " Cousin of Buckingham, and you sage, grave men, 
 Since you will buckle fortune on my back. 
 To beaV her burthen, whether I will or no, 
 I must have patience to endure the load: 
 But if black scandal, or foul-faced reproach, 
 Attend the sequel of your imposition. 
 Your mere enforcement shall acquittance me 
 From all the impure blots and stains thereof; 
 For God he knows, and you may partly see, 
 How far I am from the desire thereof." 
 
 —King Richard III, Act IV, Scene VII. 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 Should you ask me, whence this jingle ? 
 Whence the music of this measure, 
 With its tintinnabulations. 
 With its soft reverberations. 
 With its frequent repetitions? 
 I should answer, I should tell you, 
 Honor bright, " I know I stole it 
 From the Bard of Hiawatha." 
 
 Should you ask me, whence this story? 
 
 Whence this legend, this tradition, 
 
 With the odor of canal boats. 
 
 In their swish of dirty waters, 
 
 With the odor that's peculiar 
 
 To the swash of politicians. 
 
 With the dews and damps of Congress, 
 
 With the death damps of the nation ? 
 
 I should answer, I should tell you, 
 
8 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 "From the land of the Ohio, 
 From the land of office snatchers, 
 From the records made in Congress, 
 Where small politicians languish. 
 From the men who made the records, 
 Filed them in the nation's archives, 
 Nation with the very big N, 
 And the rickety foundation." 
 
 Ye who love truth for its own sake. 
 
 Love the truth without a thought for 
 
 Who it hits or who it misses. 
 
 Listen to this simple story. • 
 
 Ye who love the fruits of office 
 
 Better than unsullied honor, 
 
 Step one side or stand from under. 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 I. 
 
 Once upon a time (now listen), 
 In the land of the Ohio, 
 Land of mighty office-snatchers, 
 Where the muddy, nasty water 
 Floated " ager " and canal boats, 
 Where the Dusk-kwo-ne'she* flourished, 
 Where the Sugge-maf are numerous. 
 Where the festive, gay Dahin-daJ 
 Sported in the emerald quagmire, 
 Was a mule, of sober visage. 
 Sober habits, and most sober. 
 Melancholy disposition. 
 
 II. 
 
 This sad mule had lost its rider, 
 Or was just about to lose him, 
 (Which is which it does not matter) 
 
 * Dusk-kwo-ne'she = Dragon flies, 
 t Sugge-ma=:Mosquitos. 
 X Dahin-da= Bull-frogs. 
 
I o FIELD- GAR' A- JIM. 
 
 And was just about to lose her 
 (Female mule) soft situation. 
 
 III. 
 
 Where the fields of corn were bending 
 With the weight of glowing harvests, 
 Where the clover fields and meadows 
 Reveled in the sun's warm kisses, 
 Freighting every passing zephyr 
 With the perfume of their gladness, 
 Sat upon the fence a young brave, 
 Whom the gods named Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Field-gar-a-jim, The-in-no'-cent. 
 
 IV. 
 
 What there is in a canal boat 
 Calculated to enrapture 
 All the senses, hold them spell-bound, 
 Never has been demonstrated. 
 But the fact is, as we find it, 
 Field-gar-a-jim was entranced 
 In the vision spread before him, 
 The, to him, most charming vision 
 Spread out on the dirty water. 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. II 
 
 V. 
 
 Lost, to him, the scene behind him ; 
 Glowing harvests, clover blossoms, 
 Pleasant fields in dew drops bathing, 
 Pleasant fields in sunbeams basking. 
 Sunbeams sporting with the zephyrs 
 In the dew drops and the clover; 
 He had turned his back upon them. 
 On the fence was Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Field-gar-a-jim, The-in-no-cent, 
 On the fence that separated 
 Noble toil from degradation. 
 
 VI. 
 
 What there may be in the visage 
 
 Of a sober, melancholy, 
 
 Half starved mule that should inspire one 
 
 To political ambition, 
 
 Leave we for the philosophic. 
 
 We confine ourselves to facts, and 
 
 Figures, as you'll see directly. 
 
 VII. 
 
 Fact the first, then, Field-gar-a-jim. 
 Fact the second, he was honest. 
 
I 2 FIELD- GAR- A- JIM. 
 
 That is, practically honest, 
 At this period of the story. 
 Fact the third, as has been stated. 
 Looked he on the mule with longing, 
 Longing that could not be uttered. 
 So you'll please excuse me from it. 
 Fact the fourth, we find him on it. 
 On the mule and on the tow-path, 
 On the road that lead to Congress. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 What there may be in a tow-path 
 That resembles the great highway 
 Leading to the halls of Congress, 
 Is, no doubt, at once suggested 
 In the fact that any mule, or 
 Any man, or any jackass. 
 May aspire to travel on it. 
 
 IX. 
 
 What there is, besides, suggestive 
 In the fact that he who travels 
 On this path must wear a harness, 
 Be he mule, or man, or jackass; 
 And what further is suggested 
 
FIELDGAR-A- JIM. I 3 
 
 By the tow-line trailing after, 
 
 Through the nasty, dirty water, 
 
 Dragging its unseemly burden 
 
 Through the filth-begrim'ed water; 
 
 What there may be of suggestion 
 
 Touching ships of state, and so forth, 
 
 Dragged through mud and filth, and so forth. 
 
 Or whatever was suggested. 
 
 Still beyond our indications. 
 
 To the youthful Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
 Fact the fifth proves he was master, 
 
 Master of the situation. 
 
 Fact the fifth; the step was easy 
 
 From canal hand down to Congress. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 I. 
 
 Where the river, the Potomac, 
 Rushes down to hide in ocean, 
 Where the wavelets of the river 
 Speed away like birds affrighted 
 From the very wicked city, 
 Where no guilty man escapes 
 (Because no guilty man is captured) 
 Choosing to resign his office, 
 Where the pretty female clerks are 
 Thicker than the Okaha'wis,* 
 Field-gar-a-jim met in pow-wow 
 With the big chiefs of the nation. 
 
 II. 
 Soon he learned the trick of glory. 
 Soon he was a peer among them; 
 Peer was he of Cos-co-ron'-kling 
 (Ka-te-did-he), shot-gun-ha'-ter; 
 
 * Potomac herring. 
 14 
 
FIELDGAR-A-yiM. 1 5 
 
 Peer was he of Lon-a-jo'-gin, 
 Far-famed as "The-dir-ty-work-er"; 
 Peer was he of Much-e-feather, 
 Mame's big Injun, also peer of 
 Little Kid-de, Pe-wee-u-gene. 
 
 III. 
 Friend was he of Chief U-lis-ses, 
 Mighty smoker, jail-de-liv-rer; 
 Friend was he of Sylph-ling-bab-cock, 
 Great pipe-filler of U-lis-ses ; 
 Friend of both Cam-e'-rons, friend of 
 Me-dil-jo-sef, Wish-e-wash-e, 
 Friend of everybody — friend of 
 Ape-an-thro-po-mor-phus-wil-liams, 
 Lan-dau-wil-liams, " Old-cor-rup-tion." 
 
 IV. 
 
 Stride by stride he rose to place, and 
 Stride by stride rose he to power. 
 In the pow-wows of the nation 
 Field-gar-a-jim rose to power. 
 
 V. 
 
 As chief of appropriations, 
 
 Held the keys to what was pleasant 
 
I 6 FIELD- GA R-A - JIM. 
 
 In the pow-wows of the nation — 
 Held the keys to every fraud that 
 Innocently could get through it. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Here, as chief of the committee, 
 Found he how to serve De-Gol-yer, - 
 Chief of the big pavement swindle. 
 Here De-Gol-yer wooed and won him, 
 Made him pretty little presents 
 (Item, of five thousand dollars 
 For a brief that ne'er was written). 
 
 VII. 
 
 Here the guileless Field-gar-a-jim, 
 
 Prince of saintly peculators, 
 
 As the sly' and silent partner 
 
 Of Boss Shepherd, Leet and Stocking, 
 
 Put their schemes through his committee. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Here the guileless, speculating. 
 Enterprising Field-gar-a-jim 
 Took his stock of Cre-da-mo-bil, 
 Then with saintly, sacred sorrow. 
 
FIELD- GAR- A- JIM. I 7 
 
 And so forth, he 'Mied " about it. 
 
 "Lied" about it when they caught him — 
 
 So, at least, said his own people, 
 
 People, the intensely loyal, 
 
 Of the great Po-land Committee. 
 
 IX. 
 
 Stride by stride he rose to power, 
 
 Stride by stride rose Field-gar- a-jim, 
 
 Till, as "most successful scoundrel," 
 
 (Pardon us the very harsh words! 
 
 'Tis a most unpleasant duty 
 
 Makes us quote his party organs — 
 
 Quote the strong words of their "back files,") 
 
 "Slyest," "Slickest," and "Sublimest 
 
 Scoundrel" of the scurvy Congress, 
 
 He was made the chief among them, 
 
 Given the supreme command, with 
 
 Power, absolute and kingly. 
 
 In all knavery politic 
 
 That should guide his party's future. 
 
 Then laid he The Scheme Collossal! 
 
 This is how he played it, listen ! 
 
1 8 FIELD- GAR- A - JIM. 
 
 X. 
 
 First he drew the Chief U-lis-ses 
 
 To his very loving bosom, 
 
 Swore eternal fealty to him — 
 
 Made a compact strong as words can — 
 
 Swore he would devote his life, and 
 
 All he had, to the advancement 
 
 Of his great friend, Chief U-lis-ses. 
 
 Next took he Chief Much-e-feather 
 
 To the same great loving heart, and 
 
 Swore to him eternal friendship — 
 
 Made a compact like unto the 
 
 Compact made with Chief U-lis-ses. 
 
 Then embraced he Chief Sher-man-john 
 
 In the same fond, loving arms, and 
 
 Swore to him upon his faith, in 
 
 Ultimate success, and so forth. 
 
 He'd work for him — John — and so forth, 
 
 Winked at John and clapped his shoulder. 
 
 Put his finger on his lips, and 
 
 Winked again most innocently. 
 
FIELD- GA R-A-yiM. 1 9 
 
 XI. 
 
 "So far so good," Field-gar-a-jim 
 Quoth unto himself. "Now for it — 
 Now to get hold of the money." 
 Then, by virtue of his power, 
 Power absolute and kingly, 
 His prerogative unquestioned 
 In all knavery politic, 
 Summoned he into his presence 
 All the great thieves of his party, — 
 One by one they stood before him. 
 
 XII. 
 
 "Ri-chard-son," quoth Field-gar-a-jim, 
 "Ri-chard-son^ great Meg-is-sog'-won,* 
 What's left from appropriations.''" 
 Quoth Ri-chard-son, Meg-is-sog-won, 
 "Lacks a trifle of a billion." 
 Quoth the guileless Field-gar-a-jim, 
 "Bring it to me by to-morrow." 
 
 XIII. 
 
 Next appeared the Sneak-thief-bel-knap, 
 Better known as Wife-ac-cu-ser. 
 
 * Meg-is-sog'-won = Purse-bearer. 
 
20 FIELD-GAli-A-JIM. 
 
 "How much," quoth Chief Field-gar-a-jim, 
 "Yet remains of all your stealings?" 
 Quoth the Wife-ac-cu-ser, " Only- 
 Four millions five hundred thousand." 
 "Bring it to me by to-morrow," 
 Smiling, added Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 Next the Skipper, Ro-be-son-fraud, 
 
 Put in his august appearance, 
 
 With his " savings " of eight millions. 
 
 Cress-well, Little-pec~u-la-tion, 
 
 Came next with his small two millions. 
 
 Next the courtly Big-ro-gar-thur, 
 
 With a paltry, bare one million. 
 
 This is all the rogue would give up. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Me-dil-jo-sef, Wish-e-wash-e, 
 Humbly bowed, next, in the p?'esetice. 
 "Me sick Injun — little money," 
 Quoth the impecunious Josef, 
 " Me will put up one trade dollar." 
 "Keep it, keep it, Wish-e-wash-e," 
 
FIELD- GA R-A - JIM. 2 I 
 
 Smiling, answered Field-gar-a-jim, 
 "Keep your dollar, Me-dil-jo-sef." 
 
 XVI. 
 
 Next came New York's Fraud-ling-murphy, 
 With ten millions in his wampum. 
 Next, Dear-brother-in-law-ca-sey, 
 With his stealings of six millions. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 Smiled the saintly Field-gar-a-jim, 
 As his eye ran up the figures, 
 All the figures thus reported ; 
 Smiled again as Sylph-ling-bab-cock 
 Brought in his reports from whisky. 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 " How much," quoth Chief Field-gar-a-jim, 
 " Has your noble band succeeded 
 In reserving from the whisky?" 
 Quoth the festive Sylph-ling-bab-cock, 
 "One billion five hundred millions." 
 "Bring it to me, here, to-morrow," 
 Solemnly quoth Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
2 2 FIELD- GAR- A ■ JIM. 
 
 XIX. 
 When he had cast up the column, 
 Happy was the guileless Chieftain. 
 "This," quoth he, with saintly smile, 
 "Is growing som-ewhat interesting — 
 This is comfortable, surely. 
 This, now, is a softer thing than 
 Riding lean mules on a tow-path — 
 Softer even this than preaching 
 To the mullet-headed Buckeyes." 
 Saying which he smiled serenely. 
 Oh, so guileless and so saintly ! 
 Smiled as only that great smiler, 
 (Smiling Schuyler, once his partner 
 In the soft scheme Cre-da-mo-bil,) 
 Else beside him ever could smile. 
 In his hands v/as all the money, 
 Ergo in his hands all power. 
 
CHAPTER in. 
 
 I. 
 
 Speed the years, the plot grows thicker. 
 Left, the bosom friend, U-hs-ses. 
 Left, the dear friend, Much-e-feather. 
 Left', the loving friend, Sher-man'-john. 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la for Ru-ther'-fordl 
 
 (Oh, sly Jimmy, Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 
 Guileless, saintly Field-gar-a-jim.) 
 
 II. 
 
 "Wheel in line, great Chief U-hs-ses, 
 Wheel in line,your turn shall come next 1 
 
 "Wheel in line, dear Much-e-feather, 
 Wheel in line, your turn shall come next ! " 
 "Wheel in line, oh, fond Sher-man^john, 
 Wheel in line,your turn shall come next!" 
 
 (Oh, sly Judas, Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Slyest, slickest, saintliest sinner.) 
 
2 4 FIELD- GAR- A- JIM. 
 
 III. 
 Oh, the canvas! Oh, the people! 
 Oh, the speeches! Whoop-la! Whoop-la! 
 Oh, the bloody shirt, and so forth ! 
 
 IV. 
 
 Oh, the wailing of the chieftains! 
 Oh, the cursing, swearing, raving ! 
 Ru-ther-ford-be is defeated ! 
 
 V. 
 
 From the dust and smoke of battle, 
 From defeat and from disaster, 
 From the swearing and confusion, 
 Rose the form of Field-gar-a-jim, 
 With an innocent, sweet smile and, 
 In his eye, a brilliant "i-dee." 
 
 VI. 
 
 Speed the days, the plot is thick'ning — 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la! Liz-zie-pinc-ston ! 
 Whoop-la! "the returning boards" and 
 Whoop-la ! visitors, the statesmen ! 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la, Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Chief of visitors, the statesmen! 
 
FIELD GAR- A- JIM. 2 5 
 
 VII. 
 
 Speed the days, the plot grows thicker. 
 Whoop-la ! Whoop-la, Eight to Seven ! 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la, Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Big Chief of the Eight to Seven ! 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Speed the hours, the plot grows thicker — 
 Thicker — thicker — it is solid! 
 Solid are the eight, and solid 
 Ru-ther-ford-be with the nation — 
 Nation with a very big N 
 And most rickety foundation. 
 Whoop-la ! Whoop-la, Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 "Slickest," "slyest" and " sublimest 
 Scoundrel " of the scurvy Congress 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 I. 
 
 Speed the years, the Seheine Collossal 
 Grows apace. U-lis-ses wanders 
 Over seas in search of buncomb, 
 Drawing on the Fund-Corruption, — 
 Field-gar-a- Jim's Fund-Corruption. 
 Oh sly, slick and slippery Jimmy! 
 Oh in-no-cent Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 Much-e-feather must be slaughtered. 
 
 II. 
 Speed the years, the Scheme Collossal 
 Rapidly tends toward solution. 
 Lo, the wigwam! Lo, the pow-wow! 
 Lo, the chieftains of the pow^-wow! 
 
 III. 
 Cos-co-ron-kling, (Ka-te-did-he), 
 Champion of Chief U-lis-ses ! 
 Lon-a-jo-gin, dir-ty-work-er, 
 
 26 
 
FIELD GAR A-yiM. 2 J 
 
 Second of Chief Cos-co-ron-kling, 
 In all matters tending Grant-ward ! 
 
 IV. 
 
 Brass-tongue-frye-frye, Champion of 
 Main's big Injun, Much-e-feather! 
 Pe-wee-u-gene, very-lit-tle, 
 Second of Chief Brass-tongue-frye-frye. 
 
 V. 
 
 Lo, the cats of famed Kilkenny! 
 Lo, the coming match between the 
 Champions of Chief U-lis-ses 
 And of Great Chief Much-e-feather! 
 
 VI. 
 
 Lo ! the sly, slick, slippery Jimmy, 
 Champion of Chief Sher-man'-john ! 
 
 VII. 
 
 Lo, the solitary Granger, 
 Champion of Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 Oh, sly, slick and slippery Jimmy! 
 Oh, my eye, oh, how he played it ! 
 Oh, the guileless Field-gar-a-jim! 
 Lo, the solitary voter ! 
 
28 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Lo, the two Kilkenny cats, and 
 Lo, the bland and child-like face of 
 Field-gar-a-jim, The-in-no'-cent ! 
 Oh, my eye, now here was richness ! 
 
 IX. 
 
 Eloquent was Cos-co-ron-kling, 
 Sweet his tones and soft his accents 
 Even as when Ka-te-did-he. 
 
 X. 
 
 Eloquent was Lon-a-jo-gin, — 
 Eloquent as when he mustered 
 Soldiers for the Rebel army. 
 
 XI. 
 
 Eloquent was Brass-tongue-frye-frye — 
 Rang his tones out in the wigwam, 
 Musical as any jackass. 
 
 XII. 
 
 Even eloquent was Pe-wee, — 
 Very little, Pe-wee-u-gene. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 But oh, sweet as the /Eolian, 
 Sweet as honey in the comb, or 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-yiM. 29 
 
 Out of it, spread on hot buckwheats, 
 Was the sweet and saintly voice, and 
 Was the sweeter, saintlier smile of 
 Field-gar-a-jim, The-in-no-cent ! 
 Friend was he of everybody. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 In-ger-sol-bob from the platform 
 Stole out like Longfellow's Arab, 
 Went around behind the wigwam, 
 Damned all preachers, chewed tobacco. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Many chiefs whom we might mention 
 (But we shall not— don't be frightened) 
 Having seats in the Convention 
 Aired their eloquence, and so forth, — 
 Fouled the fouler air, and so forth, — 
 With their foulest breaths, and so forth. 
 
 XVI. 
 
 Speed the show, bring out the tumblers! 
 Oh, the high and lofty tumbling! 
 Speed the show! the sport increases — 
 Oh, the elephant and monkey! 
 
30 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 Oh, the clown! and oh, the donkey! 
 Oh, the two Kilkenny cats! and 
 Oh, the two cats raking chestnuts 
 For the gentle, guileless monkey! 
 
 XVII. 
 
 Eloquent is Cos-co-ron-kling, 
 But his smile grows very bitter, 
 And his words incline to wither, 
 And his voice is somewhat raspish. 
 The Adonis of the forum 
 Seems beset by strange emotions. 
 As when Katy's ancient landlord 
 Leveled on him with a shot gun, 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 Eloquent, still, Lon-a-jo-gin — 
 But that strange, peculiar kind of 
 Eloquence when bluff and bluster, 
 Arrogance and low buffoonery 
 Falls short of appreciation. 
 Lon-a-jo-gin 's dirty work was 
 Too foul even for that Pow-wow. 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 3 1 
 
 XIX. 
 
 Taunting was the Brass-tongued-frye-frye, 
 Waspish, stinging, very bitter. 
 Taunting, too, was Per-wee-u-gene 
 Keeping pace with his quick leader. 
 
 XX. 
 
 But, oh sight for gods and men, and 
 
 Sight for women, for that matter, 
 
 (If Adonis-Ros-Coe were not 
 
 Posturing just at the moment) 
 
 Was the guileless Field-gar-a-jim! 
 
 Calm was he as any oyster. 
 
 Meek and gentle was his face, and 
 
 Low and soft his gentle accents. 
 
 Never was a sucking dove (If 
 
 Doves do suck — I've heard it doubted) 
 
 More innocent, inoffensive. 
 
 Humble, yielding, soft persuading. 
 
 Artless, altogether lovely. 
 
 XXI. 
 
 Speed the ballots, speeds the buncomb, 
 Speed the bosses of the ballots. 
 Speed the bosses of the buncomb. 
 
32 FIELDGAR-A-JIM. 
 
 XXII. 
 
 Much-e hot-e grow the chieftains 
 As the red hot day advances — 
 Hot as Hottentots and hotter, 
 Hot as Harriet Beecher's temper, 
 Hot as Pope Bob, cursing preachers, 
 Hot as Hell-e-nis-tic fire ! 
 
 XXIII. 
 
 Still, amidst the general rumpus. 
 Placid, patient as his master, 
 Perfectly serene and conscious, 
 Lo! the solid, single voter! 
 
 XXIV, 
 
 Speed the ballots, speeds the buncomb, 
 Speed the bosses of the ballots, 
 Speed the bosses of the buncomb. 
 
 XXV. 
 
 Lo, the patient Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 Lo, the guileless Field-gar-a-jim! 
 Lo, the saintly Field-gar-a-jim ! 
 Lo, the solitary, solid, 
 Single vote for Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
FIELDGAR-A JIM. -^-X, 
 
 XXVI. 
 
 Break the ranks ! Confusion's rampant ! 
 Break the ranks ! All hell can't stop it ! 
 
 XXVII. 
 
 Hast thou seen the pent up waters, 
 
 Mighty waters, many fathoms 
 
 Deep and many fathoms broader. 
 
 Trickling through a tiny crevice, 
 
 Through the dam that barred their progress, 
 
 Through a single, tiny crevice .'' 
 
 Lo, the one vote ! Lo, the crevice. 
 
 XXVIII. 
 
 Hast thou seen the mighty waters 
 Burst the levee, spread destruction.? 
 Hast thou heard the rush of waters 
 Crashing, screaming, hissing, roaring .-' 
 I^o, the pow-wow in confusion ! 
 
 XXIX. 
 
 Hast beheld a flock of sheep, and 
 Hast observed the tinkle, tinkle. 
 Of the bell on the one wether.' 
 Lo, the granger! Lo the wether! 
 
34 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 XXX. 
 Hast beheld the guileless shepherd 
 D.-op a rider from the fence, and 
 Gently signal the said wether? 
 Lo, the shepherd, Field-gar-a-jim! 
 
 XXXI. 
 
 Hast beheld the wether jump it. 
 Jump the fence where it was lowest.'' 
 Hast beheld the sheep all follow.'* 
 Lo ! the chieftains of the pow-wow ! 
 
 XXXll. 
 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la, Field-gar-a-jim! 
 Whoop-la! Whoop-la, Scheme Collossal. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 1. 
 
 Sing the wrath of Chief U-lis-ses. 
 Sing the woe of Sylph-ling-bab-cock. 
 Sing the grief of Cos-co-ron-kling — 
 Kat°y gone, too! Oh, Muse! Too much. 
 
 II. 
 
 Oh, the curses! Lon-a-jo-gin 
 Swore until he burst his wam-pum. 
 Cam-e-ron-don, son of Simon, 
 Swore till he ran out of words, and 
 Begged Pope Bob to lend him utterance. 
 
 III. 
 
 Oh, the ire of Much-e-feather 
 
 When he saw how they had played him! 
 
 Oh, the hot breath of Sher-man'-john ! 
 
 Never was such cursing, swearing 
 
 Never was such raving, gnashing 
 
 Of false teeth twixt oaths, and so forth. 
 
 35 
 

 
 6 FIELD-GAR-A yiM. 
 
 IV. 
 
 Oh, the wailing of the people, 
 
 Of the honest, sober people. 
 
 Of the yeomen of the party ! 
 
 Ah ! too well knew they the records, 
 
 Records laid up in the archives, 
 
 In the archives of the Nation — 
 
 Nation with the very big N 
 
 And the rickety foundation, 
 
 v. 
 They had read in their own journals. 
 The best journals of the party, 
 (More than a full hundred of them). 
 Of the records in the archives — 
 Records made by their own party. 
 (Once more pardon us these harsh words- 
 Frightful, but we cannot help it. 
 Though to us it is most painful, 
 We're compelled to quote the records.) 
 Records branding Field-gar-a-jim 
 As "a trickster very cunning," 
 As "a base ring politician," 
 
FIELD GAR A JIM 3 7 
 
 As "a tool of every steal that 
 
 Rings and lobbies put through Congress/' 
 
 As ' a cringing, crawling coward, 
 
 Slinkmg from the field of battle, 
 
 Hiding in the halls of Congress," 
 
 As "a smiling hypocrite," and 
 
 As "a thief," and as "a liar." 
 
 They had looked on Tom Nast's cartoons, 
 
 Cartoons of the Cre-da-mo-bil, 
 
 Cartoons branding Field-gar-a-jim 
 
 As "a hypocrite and liar." 
 
 VI. 
 
 They had had the proofs submitted 
 In these same best party journals. 
 Proofs sustaining all these charges. 
 Proofs they could not call in question. 
 And the people of the party, 
 They, themselves, in private, public. 
 Had been loud in their hot curses, 
 They could not blot out these records, 
 They could not recall their curses- 
 Records damning Field-gar-a-jim, 
 
38 FlELDGAR-A-yiM. 
 
 Curses damning Field-gar-a-jim. 
 Oh, the records! Oh, the records!* 
 
 VII. 
 
 Well they knew the Bourbons (d — n 'em) 
 Would call up the blighting record. 
 Well they knew the honest people, 
 Honest people of all parties, 
 Would not vote for Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Oh, the record ! Oh, the record ! 
 
 The black record of their chieftain ! 
 
 All the water of both oceans 
 
 Could not wash out that black record — 
 
 Rather would it foul both oceans. 
 
 IX. 
 
 Sing the fury of the chieftains 
 
 When they'd had time to consider — 
 
 Realize the scheme colossal — 
 
 Realize how their own savings. 
 
 Through Boss Shepherd, Leet and Stocking, 
 
 Through the slick De Golyer swindle, 
 
 * See Appendix. 
 
FIELD GAR- A JIM. 3c 
 
 Through the big steal Cre-da-mo-bil, 
 Througli over-appropriations, 
 Through Ri-chard-son, IMegissog'won, 
 Through The-wite-ac-cu-ser-bel-knap, 
 Through the skipper, Ro-be-son-fraud, 
 Through Small-pec-u-la-tion-cress-well, 
 Through The-kite-tail-big-ro-gar-thur, 
 (Not to mention the trade dollar 
 Tendered to the general fund by 
 Me-dil-jo-sef, Wish-e-wash-e), 
 Through the customs frauds of Mur-phy, 
 Through the Broth-er-in-la\v-ca-sey, 
 Through the Sylph, sweet-scent-ed-bab-cock, 
 And through that great Non-de-script-us, 
 Ape-an-thro-po-mor-phus-wil-liams. 
 Realized how these "great savings," 
 Savings for the fund cor-rup-tion, 
 Had been utilized against them. 
 When they realized still further 
 That the balance of the fund would 
 Still be utilized against them, 
 Utilized for Field-gar-a-jim — 
 
40 FIBLDGAR-A-JIM. 
 
 Sing, oh naughty Muse, the raving. 
 Sing the wild despair and raving, 
 When was realized the length of — 
 Realized the depth and breadth of, 
 Field-gar-a-jim's ScJieme CoUossal ! 
 Can't? Then sing of Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
 X. 
 
 Lo, the placid Field-gar-a-jim! 
 Lo, the guileless Field-gar-a-jim! 
 Saintly in his smile, and saintly 
 His soft tones and gentle accents. 
 
 XI. 
 
 "Wheel in line, oh, noble chieftains — 
 Wheel in line — your turns shall come next." 
 
 XII. 
 
 Quoth Achilles, Cos-co-ron-kling, 
 Sulking in his tent and brooding 
 On the loss of his Bri-se-is, 
 "Field-gar-a-jim, see you d — d first." 
 
 XIII. 
 
 Quoth great Hector, Don-cam-e-ron, 
 "Think I'd rather go a-fishing." 
 
FIELD GAR A JIM. 41 
 
 XIV. 
 
 Quoth U-lis-ses not a word, but 
 Silently smoked his Ha-va-na. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Lon-a-jo-gin, dir-ty-work-er 
 (Ready for the nastiest job that 
 Ever fell to man or beast, or 
 Any creeping, crawling thing), was 
 First to wheel in line of muster. 
 Quoth the slimy Lon-a-jo-gin, 
 "Here am I, great Field-gar-a-jim, 
 Son of Illinois, and so forth, 
 Far-famed for my deeds, and so forth, 
 Gory damns and smut, and so forth, — 
 Guess I'm just your man, and so forth." 
 
 XVI. 
 
 " Let us pray ! " quoth Field-gar-a-jim. 
 
A combination and a form indeed, 
 Where every god did seem to set his seal 
 To give the world assurance of a man. 
 
 — Hamlet. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 I. 
 
 Where the waves of the Atlantic 
 
 Bear Aurora's first warm kisses 
 
 To the white sands and the brown clifts 
 
 Of Columbia's eastern border — 
 
 From the tribes of the Atlantic 
 
 Rose the cry, "Give us a leader!" 
 
 11. 
 Where the waves of the Pacific 
 Kiss their hands back in the sunset 
 To the golden gates of plenty 
 Of America's rich treasures — 
 From the tribes of the Pacific 
 Rose the cry, "Give us a leader!" 
 
 in. 
 
 Where the lakes that belt the Northland, 
 Laughing in the glow of sunlight, 
 Dancing in the twinkling starlight, 
 Speed our commerce to all nations — 
 
 43 
 
44 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 From the tribes of the great lakes there 
 Rose the cry, "Give us a leader!" 
 
 IV. 
 
 Where the orange groves are blooming, 
 Where the glory of the seasons 
 Dwells in groves of the magnolia, 
 In the cotton fields and rice fields, 
 From the tribes of valorous Southrons 
 Rose the cry, "Give us a leader!" 
 
 V. 
 
 Where the mighty Mississippi 
 
 Rolls in splendor to the ocean — 
 
 Where its tributary rivers 
 
 Frolic in the lap of plenty, 
 
 From the tribes where men are giants 
 
 Rose the cry, "Give us a leader!" 
 
 VI. 
 
 Rolled the echo through the mountains, 
 Rolled the echo through the valleys. 
 Till its loud reverberation 
 Called the people, as by magic. 
 To a council of the nation. 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 45 
 
 VII. 
 
 Where the city, Cincinnati, 
 Basks in regal, sunlight splendor, 
 Shut out from the world surrounding 
 By its hills of wondrous beauty. 
 Amphitheater more grand than 
 Elsewhere 'neath the dome of heaven, 
 Met the tribes in mighty council. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Silently they journeyed thither. 
 
 From the Northland, from the Southland, 
 
 From the Eastland, from the Westland, 
 
 Silent, and with mighty tread, as 
 
 When an army moves to battle — 
 
 Silent, and with steady mien, as 
 
 When the crisis is upon them, 
 
 IX. 
 
 As the first faint tint of morning 
 Decked the orient with silver, 
 On the hilltops round the city 
 Stood the stately, silent thousands — 
 Every tribe had sent its wise men. 
 Many tribes had sent their warriors. 
 
46 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 X. 
 Here was met nor clan nor faction; 
 Here was found nor strife nor discord: 
 But one voice was to be heard now; 
 But one spirit moved the people: 
 'Twas the Genius of Republics, 
 'Twas the Majesty of Tribes, that 
 Rose to save a falling nation. 
 
 XI. 
 
 As the day-god's glimmering lances 
 
 Shot above the gray horizon, 
 
 From the hilltops moved the people 
 
 Down the hillsides grandly silent, 
 
 Down into the quiet city. 
 
 Stately was their tread, and stately 
 
 Was the firm look on their faces. 
 
 XII. 
 
 Ere was reached the ample forum, 
 Halted were the countless thousands — 
 There was not space for the people. 
 Pressed within the circling hill-sides. 
 Filling all the spacious valley, — 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 47 
 
 Amphitheater whose dome was 
 The bright morning sunlit heavens. 
 
 XIII. 
 
 When to Manito the mighty, 
 
 Gitche-Manito the mighty, 
 
 They had offered their petitions, 
 
 Bowed their heads and asked His guidance 
 
 Then had come the great, auspicious 
 
 Moment that each tribe should be heard- 
 
 When each member of each tribe should 
 
 Name the one he'd have for leader. 
 
 'Twas for this they'd come together, — 
 
 That all tribes had met together 
 
 In a council of the nation, — 
 
 Trusting that in this great hour 
 
 Gitche-Manito the mighty 
 
 Would direct them and speak to them. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 Now was come the awful moment ! 
 Sat the tribes with heads uncovered. 
 Awful was the silence, awful ! 
 In the presence of Manito. 
 
48 FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 
 
 XV. 
 
 Rose the Council in a body, — 
 
 Rose the Council as by magic, — 
 
 On each face was written "vict'ry!" 
 
 From the throng went up a shout 
 
 That shook the great hills to their bases: 
 
 "Hancock! Hancock! Hancock! Hancock!" 
 
 XVI. 
 
 And the people from the hill tops 
 Took the shout up from the Council : 
 "Hancock! Hancock! Hancock! Hancock!" 
 
 XVII. 
 
 And the people in the valleys 
 Heard the shout rise from the hill tops, 
 And they shouted to the mountains, 
 "Hancock! Hancock! Hancock! Hancock!" 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 And the mountains sent the echo 
 
 Ringing back upon the valleys, 
 
 "Hancock! Hancock! Hancock! Hancock!" 
 
FIELD-GAR-A-JIM. 49 
 
 XIX. 
 Till the nation rose together, 
 Shook the continent beneath them, 
 Shook the very dome above them, 
 With the shout of " Hancock ! Hancock ! " 
 
 XX. 
 
 And the superb, gallant soldier, 
 Proved on many a field of battle, 
 Idol of the grand old army. 
 Honored even by his great foes. 
 Shall be made chief of the nation. 
 
 XXI. 
 
 And the statesman of the crisis. 
 Crisis long to be remembered. 
 Shall defend our Constitution. 
 
 XXII. 
 
 And his name shall be " Defender 
 Of the grand old Constitution." 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 THE GREAT STEALS. 
 
 The amounts accredited in the foregoing pages 
 to the peculations of the different members of 
 General Grant's cabinet, and his favorites in power 
 outside of the cabinet, are substantially correct. 
 Of course we have been compelled to leave out 
 very many names in the great catalogue of crim- 
 inals that made up this administration of infamy. 
 We have confined our lines to the names only of 
 the most conspicuous. 
 
 THE COUNTING-IN FRAUD. 
 
 We have omitted the interesting history of the 
 great " counting-in " fraud except in the few lines 
 presented, and we take occasion to mention here 
 that of the one hundred and three who partici- 
 pated in that world-renowned outrage, one hundred 
 and three have been placed in remunerative offices 
 by the present administration, notwithstanding the 
 fact that the infamy of many of these was publicly 
 confessed previous to their appointments. 
 
 51 
 
52 APPENDIX. 
 
 CREDIT MOBILIER THE POLAND REPORT. 
 
 The following are certified extracts from the 
 report of the Poland Committee. It will be re- 
 membered that this Committee, appointed by Con- 
 gress to investigate the Credit Mobilier transac- 
 tions, was composed of five members, three of 
 whom — Poland, Banks and McCrary — being ex- 
 ceedingly stauch republicans. We first quote from 
 the sworn testimony of Mr. Garfield on the 14th 
 of February, 1873. This was before he knew the 
 character of the evidence against him : 
 
 "I state explicitly that no one ever gave, or 
 offered to give, me any shares of stock in the 
 Credit Mobilier or Union Pacific Railroad. I have 
 never received nor had tendered to me any divi- 
 dends, in cash, stock or bonds, accruing upon any 
 stock in either of said organizations. I never 
 received a dollar in bonds, stocks or dividends." 
 
 It is impossible to give here all of the evidence 
 — it was quite voluminous — but we submit the 
 "finding "of the Committee, so far as related to 
 Mr. Garfield, the i8th of February, 1873: 
 
 " The facts in regard to Gen. Garfield, as found 
 by the Committee, are that he (Garfield) agreed 
 with Mr. Ames to take ten shares of Credit Mo- 
 bilier stock, but did not pay for the same. Mr. 
 Ames received the 80 per cent dividends in bonds, 
 and sold them for 97 per cent, and also received 
 the 60 per cent cash dividend, which, together with 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 53 
 
 the price of the stock, and interest, left a balance 
 of $329. This sum was paid over to Mr. Garfield 
 by a check on the sergeant-at-arms, and Mr. Gar- 
 field then understood this sum 7C'as the balance of 
 dividends after paying for the stock." 
 
 In 1872 Mr. Garfield was elected to Congress 
 by 11,000 majority. In 1874, the Credit Mobilier 
 having occurred meantime, that majority was re- 
 duced to 2,528. 
 
 In 1876 the independent republicans proclaimed, 
 in a set of resolutions passed in convention, "that 
 there is no man to-day officially connected with 
 the administration of our national government 
 against whom are justly preferred more and graver 
 charges of corruption than are publicly made and 
 abundantly sustained against James A. Garfield, the 
 present representative of this congressional district, 
 and the nominee of the republican convention for 
 reelection. That since he first entered Congress to this 
 day there is scarcely an instance in which rings and 
 monopolies have been arrayed against the interests of 
 the people that he has been found in speech or vote 
 upon the side of the latter., but in almost every case 
 he has been the ready champion of the rings and 
 monopolies.'" 
 
 The above is not italicized, of course, in the 
 original document, otherwise the words are pre- 
 cisely as they appeared in the resolutions of the 
 republican convention. 
 
54 
 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 THE REPUBLICAN PRESS. 
 
 Of course, it would be impossible, in this little 
 book, to make extended quotations from the repub- 
 lican press of 1873, in which there was such pro- 
 nounced condemnation of Mr. Garfield's complica- 
 tions in the Credit Mobilier business. Every one 
 who is at all familiar with the political situation 
 at that time will remember that (to use military 
 terms) the fire was opened quite briskly along the 
 line and was sustained with remarkable energy. 
 
 The sublime and saintly composure of Mr. Gar- 
 field during this trying ordeal was the occasion of 
 grave fears on the part of his nearer friends that 
 he had lost his reason. His heroic cheek did not 
 blanch in the presence of the most indubitable 
 evidence of his knavery. He knew too well that 
 the party could not afford to sacrifice him. 
 
 The following extract from the Chicago Times, 
 pronouncedly independent, in which it quotes from 
 the Cincinnati Commercial of March 31, 1S73, is all 
 we have room for here: 
 
 "It is the ammunition furnished by the repub- 
 lican journals themselves that is being used against 
 Gen. Garfield, and it is a little curious that those 
 now warmest in his defense, and least tolerant of 
 any inquiry into his record, were then most pro- 
 nounced in their charges. Thus the Cincinnati 
 Commercial., under date of March 31, 1873. Speak- 
 ing of Garfield under fire, it says: 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 55 
 
 'And Garfield's noble soul was sadly perturbed. 
 He looked upon the scenes with grave apprehen- 
 sions, and regarded this unseemly persecution of 
 the righteous with such horror that his soul was 
 sick within him. He came near making a fatal 
 blunder once. After vVmes had testified the second 
 time as to the guilt of Garfield, y?x///^'- // upon hivi 
 clearly and unmistakably^ the General at once noti- 
 fied them that he would come before them and 
 refute the vile slanders that the mendacious man 
 from Massachusetts had poured out upon him. The 
 day and the hour came, but simultaneously came 
 not Garfield. He had heard that Ames (who was 
 then reluctantly producing the receipts that Patter- 
 son had signed) had in his possession other such 
 documents to prove the correctness of his testi- 
 mony in respect to others, and the gallant General, 
 whose flashing blade was wont to gleam adown the 
 line in the gory days of the past decade, found that 
 to stay away was prudent, and he never appeared. 
 The complacent Committee forebore to question 
 Ames further as to Garfield's statement and his 
 own, and the papers were consequently never pro- 
 duced.' 
 
 So long as the files of leading republican jour- 
 nals contain matter of this kind, it will be idle 
 upon the part of the Garfield press to frown down 
 all mention of his alleged delinquencies." 
 
 THE DE GOLYER BUSINESS. 
 
 For the brief but exhaustive treatment of the 
 De Golyer business in the following editorial, we 
 
56 APPENDIX. 
 
 are again indebted to The Times. The entirely in- 
 dependent position of The Times, and as a conse- 
 quence, its proverbial accuracy in matters of political 
 data, gives what is submitted here a weight of 
 authority immeasurably beyond anything of the kind 
 that could be offered by a partizan. 
 
 "When the facts are so plain in the matter of 
 Garfield's fee, paid him by Dick Parsons for services 
 in procuring pavement contracts for De Golyer &: 
 McClelland from the District of Columbia, it is 
 marvelons that there should continue to be such 
 wild asseveration on the one hand and such ignorant 
 denial on the other. The whole matter is of record, 
 first through a congressional investigation, next 
 in the circuit court of Cook county. Mr. Garfield 
 admits the receipt of a fee of $5,000, which was 
 placed to his credit in bank by Dick Parsons, who 
 had been employed by Chittenden to procure pave- 
 ment contracts for the firm named. Mr. Garfield 
 claimed that the fee was for his service as a lawyer, 
 and that such service consisted in the preparation 
 of a laborious brief and the making of an argument 
 in favor of the particular kind of pavement which 
 De Golyer & McClelland desired to lay down — a 
 pavement, by the way. now abandoned as wholly 
 worthless. On cross-examination by Nickerson, 
 who was the owner of the ' ironized process,' the 
 same used in the pavement mentioned. General 
 Garfield admitted that he never filed a brief with 
 the Board of Public Works of the District of Col- 
 umbia, and made no argument before the board. 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 57 
 
 He met Shepherd, and told him his opinion of the 
 process. As the brief was never filed, and never 
 published, there is a strong presumption that it was 
 never prepared. For such service as he performed 
 Mr. Garfield received $5,000, equivalent to the 
 salary for a year as congressman. Chittenden 
 claimed that the service of Garfield was worth the 
 money paid him, since he was chairman of the com- 
 mittee on appropriations, the same from which Mr. 
 Shepherd and the Washington ring must receive 
 their favors. McClelland & De Golyer got their 
 contracts. Chittenden claimed an interest in the 
 profits, but his claim was not admitted by the firm, 
 whereupon he commenced suit against them. The 
 New York Tribune gives a Statement of this case : 
 
 ' Chittenden sued McClelland & Jenkins (formerly 
 McClelland & De Golyer) upon a contract by which 
 they agreed to pay him one-third of their profits on 
 the paving contract. They set up the special plea 
 that the contract was void because it was an agree- 
 ment to pay for lobby services, and in support of 
 this plea they were obliged, of course, to represent 
 that Parsons, who was the principal agent of Chit- 
 tenden, and General Garfield, who was retained by 
 Parsons for a short time as his counsel, were em- 
 ployed to influence members of Congress. Chitten- 
 den demurred to this plea; that is, he urged that, 
 even if the facts Avere as the defendants alleged, the 
 defense was not good in law. The issue being on 
 this point alone, Judge Farwell overruled the de- 
 murrer; in other words, to cite the language of 'an 
 able lawyer of Chicago,' whose letter was printed in 
 
58 APPENDIX, 
 
 the World -on the 26th inst., 'The special pleas 
 were held good, if the facts were as therein stated.' ' 
 
 The plea set up Chittenden's letters to De Golyer 
 &: McClelland showing how the contract was ob- 
 tained, and one of those letters detailed the reten- 
 tion of Garfield, not as a lawyer, but as chairman of 
 the committee on appropriations, a simple word 
 from whom would be a command to Shepherd. 
 Judge Farwell, of the circuit court of Cook county, 
 Illinois, held as stated. The pleas were good, 'if 
 the facts were as tlierein stated.' Were the facts as 
 therein stated the next proceedings in the case might 
 disclose, but there were no further proceedings, for 
 Chittenden, confronted by his own letters, went no 
 further." 
 
 EXTRAVAGANCE. 
 
 The "extravagance" of the Republican party 
 is certainly beyond anything of the kind known 
 in the history of American politics. In proof of 
 which the following data of facts is ample. 
 
 The expenses of the government of the United 
 States, for the seventy-three years closing with 
 i86r, were $1,506,726,151. This, of course, was 
 under Federalist, Whig and Democratic adminis- 
 tration. Compare with this the expenses of run- 
 ning the government for the ten years from 1866 
 to 1876, under Republican administration! The 
 ordinary expenses of the government for the ten 
 years immediately succeeding the war were $1,528,- 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 59 
 
 917,137.80, or $22,190,986.80 more for these ten 
 years than for the seventy-three years preceding 
 the war. It is true that there was a great increase 
 in population, but as will be seen by the per 
 capita expense, there was not sufficient increase of 
 population to give any color of warrant for such 
 increase of expense as this. 
 
 The ten years immediately preceding the war 
 cost $572,872,260 — this under Democratic rule — 
 only a little over one third of what it cost the ten 
 years succeeding the war under Republican rule. 
 
 The average expense, per annum, during these 
 two periods was, Democratic $57,287,216, while 
 the Republican average was $150,672,614. But 
 as these periods represented something of a dif- 
 ference in population, in order to be entirely fair 
 we will estimate the per capita expense of run- 
 ning the government, per annum. We find it to 
 have been. Democratic $18.26; Republican $39.65. 
 
 REBEL CLAIMS AND PENSIONS. 
 
 The following extract from the Chicago Times 
 will, no doubt, be a great source of comfort to 
 the timid who regard the election of Hancock as 
 inevitable and are oppressed with consequent fear 
 for the safety of the Republic : 
 
 " Judge Edmonds is a profound lawyer, an able 
 
6o APPENDIX. 
 
 statesman, and all that, but he seems not to be 
 acquainted with that part of the consititution of 
 the United States of America which declares : 
 'But neither the United States nor any State shall 
 assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in 
 aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United 
 States, or any claim for loss or emancipation of 
 any slaves, but all such debts, obligations and 
 claims shall be held null and void.' His igno- 
 rance of this fundametal law is assumed from liis 
 assertion in a recent speech that ' the North 
 would be taxed to pay rebel claims and pen- 
 sions.' " 
 
 It is presumed, of course, that every American 
 citizen who knows enough to vote intelligently, un- 
 derstands that before any " rebel claims " could 
 possibly be paid it would be necessary to amend 
 the constitution, and that tliis could only be done 
 with the ratification of three-fourths of all the 
 voters of the United States. It will, therefore, be 
 seen that even were the late Confederates and the 
 Democrats disposed to do it, they would be power- 
 less. 
 
 The author desires to apologize for the seeming 
 necessity of a notice of this most feeble resort of 
 Republicans. It seems incredible that a gentleman 
 of the former high position of Mr. Edmonds could 
 stoop to such a pitiably silly position. 
 
 In regard to the other sole remaining " argument " 
 
APPENDIX. 6 1 
 
 that lingers around the conventional sneer at the 
 "Solid South," suppose the question were asked who 
 made the south "Solid?" Who indeed but the 
 very men now driven to the extremity of sneers. 
 And how? Hell itself would blush in the presence 
 of a full answer to this question, and there is not an 
 intelligent Republican politician in America but 
 who knows it. Such a system of legislation and 
 tyranny would have smirched the reign of Caligula. 
 And who of all those people have you taken to your 
 bosoms — rewarded with political preferment? 
 Longstreet who caused more loyal blood to drench 
 the southern soil than any general of the Confed- 
 erate armies! The butcher of Fort Pillow — his 
 name is too infamous to repeat. And you would 
 have taken the monster of Andersonville to the 
 same loving embrace, aye, though the bony fingers 
 of his murdered dead had clutched his throat to 
 tear him from you, you had beat them off to 
 revel in his loathsomest caresses, if by so doing 
 you could have made the south " Solid " for the 
 Republican party, and you know it. 
 
 Oh, gentlemen ! make at least a showing of 
 decency in this canvas. 
 
62 APPENDIX. 
 
 THE LETTER OF JUDGE DAVIS. 
 
 Judge David Davis, than whom there is not 
 an abler jurist, a purer statesman, or a more esti- 
 mable gentleman — who, through a long and event- 
 ful career, has been admired for his noble, dignified 
 and independent bearing on all things, writes as 
 follows : 
 
 Bloomington, III., August 4, 1880. 
 
 My dear Sir : The training and the habits of 
 my life naturally lead me to prefer civilians to 
 soldiers for the great civil trust. But, as parties 
 are organized, voters must choose between the 
 candidates they present, or stand aloof, indifferent 
 or neutral, which no good citizen ought to do at 
 a presidential election. 
 
 I have no hesitation in supporting Gen. Han- 
 cock, for the best of all reasons, to my mind, 
 because his election will put an end to sectional 
 strife and to sectional parties, and will revive a 
 patriotic sentiment all over the land, which polit- 
 ical leaders and factions, for sinister ends, have 
 sought to prevent. There can be no permanent 
 prosperity without pacification. 
 
 Great as were the achievements of Gen. Han- 
 cock in war, his conduct in peace, when in com- 
 mand of Louisiana and Texas, in 1861, was still 
 greater, and justly commends him to the confi- 
 dence of the country. 
 
 That was a time when passion ruled in the 
 public councils, and military power was exerted to 
 
APPENDIX. 63 
 
 silence civil authority. The temptation was strong 
 to sail with the rushing current, for an inflamed 
 partisan opinion was too ready to condone ex- 
 cesses and to applaud oppression. 
 
 Gen. Hancock's order No. 40, in assuming 
 charge of the Fifth military district, announced : 
 "The right of trial by jury, the habeas corpus, 
 the liberty of the press, the freedom of speech, 
 the natural rights of persons, and the rights of 
 property must be respected." 
 
 These principles are the basis of free govern- 
 ment, and the proclamation of them by Gen. Han- 
 cock stands out in striking contrast with the action 
 of his superior, who soon after rebuked and drove 
 him from that command for uttering sentiments 
 worthy of all honor. 
 
 The soldier clothed with extraordinary power 
 voluntarily uncovered before the civil authority, 
 sheathed his sword, testified his fidelity to the 
 constitution, and set an example of obedience to 
 law which will pass into history as his proudest 
 claim to distinction. 
 
 The man who, in the midst of the excitements 
 of that stormy period, was cool enough to see his 
 duty clearly, and courageous enough to execute it 
 firmly, may well be trusted in any crisis. 
 
 His letter to Gen. Sherman, recently brought to 
 light, lifts Gen. Hancock far above the past ap- 
 preciation of his civil ability. It marks him as one 
 of the wisest of his time, with a statesman's grasp of 
 mind, and with the integrity of a patriot whom no 
 sense of expediency could swerve from his honest 
 convictions. 
 
64 APPENDIX. 
 
 Long and unchecked possession of power by any 
 party leads to extravagance, corruption, and loose 
 practices. After twenty years of domination by the 
 republicans, chronic abuses have become fastened 
 on the public service, like barnacles on the bottom 
 of a stranded ship. 
 
 There is no hope of reform by leaders who have 
 created a system of maladministration, and who are 
 interested in perpetuating its evils. Nothing short 
 of the sternest remedy gives any promise of effective 
 reform, and the first step toward it is in a change of 
 rulers. The government must be got out of the ruts 
 in which it has too long been run. New blood must 
 be infused into the management of public affairs 
 .before relief can be expected. 
 
 The people demand change, and, being in 
 earnest, they are likely to be gratified. 
 Very sincerely, 
 
 D.WID DAVIS. 
 
 James E. Harvey, Esq., Washington City." 
 
 HANCOCK AT NEW ORLEANS. 
 
 "The laws, they must be enforced — but the 
 military shall remain in strict subordination to civil 
 authority." 
 
 "The right of trial by jury, as maintained by 
 our fathers, shall remain inviolate." 
 
 "The writ of habeas corpus, it must and shall 
 be preserved in all its purity." 
 
 " Free speech and free ])ress shall not be dis- 
 turbed." — General Hancock, at New Orleans. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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