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THE 
 
 DYING THOUGHTS 
 
 THE REV. RICHARD BAXTER. 
 
 If 
 
 ABRIDGED BY 
 BENJAMIN FAWCETT, M*. A. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY THE 
 AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY 
 
 150 NASSAU -STREET, NEW YORK. 
 
 -/«3 7 
 
 1 
 
^30 
 
 Gin 
 
 and Mrs. Isaac R.HH* 
 July 3, 1933 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 i^HAT THERE IS DESIRABLE IN THE PRESENT 
 LIFE, 7 
 
 Che vanity of man as mortal. The author's design to speak only to 
 himself; with a genera/1 plan of the work. The apostle's happi- 
 ness whether in living or dying. The present life is desirable, 1. 
 to please Grod ; 2. to secure our own salvation ; 3. to do good to 
 others. Minding the life to come is not the whole of religion. 
 The Old Testament saints duly regarded the present life. The 
 author is thankful for present mercies to himself, his friends, and 
 country ; especially for his usefulness in the church. He desires 
 to improve the remainder of life, and rejoices in his happy situ- 
 ation. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 :HE NECESSITY AND REASONABLENESS OF BE- 
 LIEVING THAT PIOUS SEPARATE SPIRITS ARE 
 WITH CHRIST, 26 
 
 . Such faith is necessary, 1. to ascertain the design of life ; 2. to 
 excite to holiness ; 3. to make us know, value, and improve our 
 mercies ; 4. and to comfort us under sufferings. II. Such faith is 
 reasonable, because, 1. the soul is immortal ; 2. this immortality 
 is the dictate of nature ; 3. every man ought to seek happiness ; 
 
 4. men and brutes differ in the knowledge of Grod -and futurity; 
 
 5. G-od is a just governor; 6. and there is a gospel revelation: 
 also because, 7. of God's regard to prayer ; 8. the ministration of 
 angels ; 9. Satan r s temptations ; 10. and especially the sanctify- 
 ing influences of the Holy Spirit. The author inculcates these 
 considerations upon himself, in order to strengthen his own faith. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 VHATITIS TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH 
 CHRIST, 50 
 
 . To be with Christ includes, 1. his presence; 2. union to him; 
 3- communion with him, and with hi? glorified saints. II. In 
 
4 CONTENTS. 
 
 order to be with Christ, we must depart, 1. from the tody; 2. from 
 former bodily enjoyments; and, 3. from the more rational pleas- 
 ures of learning, friendship, means of grace, and acquaintance 
 with worldly affairs. The author has no fear that the church 
 will want him. Desires chiefly to submit to a separation from 
 the body, and laments his soul's attachment to flesh and sense. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 WHY IT IS FAH BETTER TO BE WITH CHRIST, . 85 
 
 It is far better, considering, 1. our preparation for it, by the Father's 
 love, the Son's purchase, and the Spirit's influences ; by (rod's 
 word, ordinances, and providences ; and by various other means. 
 2. It is the end of all our preparations. 3. It perfects our know- 
 ledge of God and his works ; of Christ, and redemption by him ; 
 of heaven and Scripture ; of Providence, of ourselves, of our fel- 
 low-creatures ; and of our enemies, sins, and dangers. 4. It per- 
 fects our will, conforming it to the will of Grod, and fixing it in 
 his love. The author triumphs in the prospect of such happiness ; 
 traces it from Grod's love as the fountain, through the love of 
 Christ as the channel, and through angels and saints as subor- 
 dinate channels. 5. It perfects also our activity in doing good, 
 particularly in praising Grod and Christ, and in beneficence to 
 inferior creatures. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE AUTHOR BREATHES AFTER WILLINGNESS 
 TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH CHRIST, . . . 129 
 
 Lamenting the inefficacy of his convictions, he begs divine teaching; 
 argues against his doubts and fears; desires a heavenly temper; 
 then excites his faith, viewing its support from reason, from ex- 
 perience, and pleading the promises. 2. He next excites his 
 hope; views its preparations, and pleads it in prayer. 3. He 
 also excites his love ; considers its excellences ; prays for its in- 
 crease; contemplates the perfection of heavenly love; is jealous 
 of his own lo\ r e ; enumerates the evidences of Grod's love, and 
 prays for its full discovery. 
 
PREFACE 
 
 THE COMPILER OF THIS ABRIDGMENT. 
 
 In the following pages the reader will find 
 none of the triumphs peculiar to martyrdom, 
 nor any of those ecstasies which have distin- 
 guished some particular Christians on* their 
 dying beds. Some extraordinary cases rather 
 excite our joyful surprise, than are patterns 
 for our imitation. 
 
 The " Dying Thoughts" of Mr. Baxter 
 chiefly present to our view what every Chris- 
 tian may attain, and what it is the highest* 
 interest as well as the indispensable duty of 
 every Christian to aspire after. See here his 
 doubts and fears in the prospect of eternity; 
 though he had spent a long life in exemplary 
 holines.s, and in great nearness to God and 
 heaven. See his jealousies over his own heart, 
 and anxious concern to discover his sincerity ; 
 together with his sober appeals and earnest 
 attention to every dictate of reason and Scrip? 
 
6 PREFACE. 
 
 ture, in order to establish his mind and con- 
 science in a well-grounded peace. See, also, 
 his unwearied striving with God and his own 
 soul to have his grace in vigorous exercise. 
 All these are well-known ingredients of the 
 Christian temper ; and therefore tend, not to per- 
 plex and discourage, but to counsel, strengthen, 
 and comfort serious readers, while they discern, 
 in one of Mr. Baxter's exalted attainments, 
 the same conflicts, complaints, and desires, 
 w r hich fill their own breasts. 
 
 It is observed of Lord William Russell, 
 who died a martyr for the liberty of his country, 
 that a little before his death, by a trusty mes- 
 senger, he sent Mr. Baxter his hearty thanks 
 for his Dying Thoughts, " which," says he, 
 4 * have made me better acquainted with the other 
 world than I was before ; and have not a little 
 contributed to my support and relief, and to 
 the fitting me for what I am to go through." 
 
 Though the Dying Thoughts were written 
 about forty years after the Saints' Rest, yet 
 both are evidently built on the same principles, 
 and are animated by the same spirit. And let 
 it suffice to add, that the abridgment of both 
 is conducted in the same manner. 
 
 B. fawcEtt. 
 
DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 FOR I AM IN A STRAIT BETWIXT TWO, HAY- 
 ING- A DESIRE TO DEPART AND TO BE WITH 
 CHRIST, WHICH IS FAR BETTER. Phil. 1:23. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 WHAT THERE IS DESIRABLE IN THE PRESENT 
 LIFE. 
 
 " Man that is born of a woman is of few 
 days and full of trouble ; he cometh forth like 
 a flower, and is cut down ; he fleeth also as a 
 shadow, and continueth not." " And dost thou 
 open thine eyes upon such a one, and bringest 
 me into judgment with thee?" As a watch 
 when it is wound up, or as a candle newly light- 
 ed, so man, newly conceived or born, begins a 
 motion which incessantly hastes to its appoint- 
 ed period. And as an action, or the time of it, 
 is nothing when it is past, so vain a thing would 
 man be, and so vain is life, were it not for the 
 
8 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 hopes of a more durable life with which this is 
 connected. But those hopes and the means for 
 supporting them do not only distinguish a be- 
 liever from an infidel, but a man from a beast 
 When Solomon describes the difference omly in 
 respect to time and the things of time, he well 
 observes, that one event happening to both, 
 shows that both are vanity. And Paul says of 
 Christians, "If in this life only we have hope, 
 we are of all men most miserable." Though 
 even in this life, as related to a better, and as 
 we ourselves are exercised about things of a 
 higher nature than the concerns of a temporal 
 life, we are far happier than the men of the 
 world. 
 
 I am intending to speak to none but myself, 
 and therefore, supposing the meaning of the 
 text to be duly ascertained, shall only observe 
 what is useful to my own heart and practice. 
 In this chapter I will consider, "What there is 
 desirable in the present life ; then show, chap- 
 ter second, The necessity and reasonableness of 
 believing that pious separate spirits are with 
 Christ; next explain, chapter third, What it is 
 to depart and to be with Christ ; and, chapter 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. . 9 
 
 fourth, "Why it is far better to be with him. I 
 will conclude, chapter fifth, with expressing, My 
 concern that I myself may be willing to depart 
 and to be with Christ. 
 
 It was a happy state into which grace had 
 brought the apostle, who saw so much of what 
 was not only tolerable, but greatly desirable, 
 both in living and dying. " For him to live was 
 Christ," that is, to do the work and serve the 
 interest of Christ; for him "to die was gain," 
 that is, would be his own interest and reward. 
 His strait was not whether it would be good to 
 live, or good to depart, because both were good, 
 but he doubted which of the two was more de- 
 sirable. Nor was it his meaning to bring his 
 own interest and Christ's into competition with 
 each other. By Christ, or the interest of Christ, 
 he means his serving the churches of Christ upon 
 earth. But he knew that Christ had an inter- 
 est also in his saints above, and could raise up 
 more to serve him here. Yet because he was 
 to judge by what appeared, and saw that such 
 were much wanted upon earth, this turned the 
 scales in his choice; and .therefore, in order to 
 serve Christ in the edification of his churches, 
 
10 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 he was more inclined, by denying himself, to 
 have his reward delayed, at this same time well 
 knowing that the delay of his reward would tend 
 to its increase. Here let me observe, " That even 
 in this world, short of death, there is some good 
 so much to be regarded, as may justly prevail 
 with believers to prefer it before the present 
 hasting of their reward." I rather note this, 
 that no temptation may carry me into the ex- 
 treme of taking nothing but heaven to be worth 
 minding, and so even sinfully cast off the world 
 on pretence of mortification and a heavenly life. 
 Not that any thing on earth is better than heav- 
 en, or is in itself to be preferred before heaven. 
 The end, as such, is better than the means, and 
 perfect^n better than imperfection. But the 
 present use of the means may be sometimes 
 preferred before the present possession of the 
 end. And the use of the means for a higher 
 end may be preferred before the present posses- 
 sion of a lower end. Every thing has its sea- 
 son. Planting, sowing, and building are not so 
 good as reaping, fruit-gathering, and dwelling; 
 but in their season they must be first done. 
 But let me inquire, What there is so desira- 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. H 
 
 ble in this present life? The answer is obvi- 
 ous, for, 
 
 1. "While this present life continues, the will 
 of God is fulfilled, who will have us upon 
 earth for a season; and that is best which God 
 wills. 
 
 2. The life to come depends upon this pres- 
 ent life, as the life of adult age depends upon 
 infancy, or the reward upon the work, or the 
 prize of racers or soldiers upon their running 
 or fighting, or the merchant's gain upon his 
 voyage. Heaven is won or lost on earth ; the 
 possession is there, but the preparation is here. 
 Christ will judge all men in another state, as 
 their works have been in this, First, "Well 
 done, good and faithful servant;" then, "Enter 
 thou into the joy of thy Lord." "I have fought 
 a good fight, I have finished my course," must 
 go before the "crown of righteousness which 
 the Lord the righteous Judge shall give." All 
 that we ever do for salvation must be done here. 
 It was on earth that Christ himself wrought the 
 work of our redemption, fulfilled all righteous- 
 ness, became our ransom, and paid the price of 
 our salvation; and here also must we do our 
 
12 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 part. The bestowing of the reward is God's 
 work, who we are sure will never fail. Here 
 is no room for the least suspicion of his failing 
 in any thing he undertakes ; but the danger and 
 fear is of our own miscarrying, lest we be not 
 found capable of receiving what God will cer- 
 tainly give to all that are fit to receive. To 
 distrust God is heinous sin and folly; but to 
 distrust ourselves is highly reasonable. So that 
 if we will make sure of heaven, it must be by 
 " giving all diligence to make our calling and 
 election sure" upon earth. If we fear hell, we 
 must fear our being prepared for it. And it is 
 great and difficult work we have to do upon 
 earth — as, for instance, to be cured of all dam- 
 ning sin; to be born again; to be pardoned and 
 justified by faith; to be united to Christ, made 
 wise to salvation, renewed by his Spirit, and 
 conformed to his likeness; to overcome all the 
 temptations of the world, the flesh, and the 
 devil; to perform all our duties towards God 
 and man; "with the heart to believe in Christ 
 unto righteousness, and with the mouth to make 
 confession unto salvation;" also to " suffer with 
 Christ that we may reign with him, and be 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 13 
 
 faithful unto death that we may receive the 
 crown of life." Thus on earth must we "so 
 run that we may obtain." 
 
 3. "We must labor to do good to many, and 
 therefore we have greater work to do on earth 
 than merely securing our own salvation. We 
 are intrusted with our Master's talents for his 
 service, to do our best in our places, to propa- 
 gate his truth and grace, to edify his church, 
 honor his cause, and promote the salvation of 
 as many souls as we can. All this is to be done 
 on earth, if we would secure the end of all in 
 heaven. 
 
 It is then an error, though but few are guilty 
 of it, to think that all religion lies in minding 
 only the life to come, and in disregarding all 
 things in this present life. All true Christians 
 must seriously mind both the end and the means 
 of attaining it. If they believingly mind not 
 the end, they will never be faithful in the use 
 of the means ; if they be not diligent in using 
 the means, they will never obtain the end. 
 Heaven must have our highest esteem, and our 
 habitual love, desire, and joy; but earth must 
 have more of our daily thoughts for present 
 
14 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 practice. A man that travels to the most de- 
 sirable home has a habitual desire to it all the 
 way; but his present business is his journey, 
 and therefore his horse, inns, and company, his 
 roads and his fatigues, may employ more of his 
 thoughts and talk and action than his home. 
 
 I have often wondered to find David in the 
 Psalms, and other saints before the coming of 
 Christ, express so great a sense of the things of 
 this present life, and say so little of another; 
 making so much account of prosperity, domin- 
 ion, and victories on the one hand, and of per- 
 secution and the success of enemies on the oth- 
 er hand. But I consider that it was not for 
 mere personal and carnal interests, but for the 
 church of Grod, and for his honor, word, and 
 worship ; for they knew, if things go well with 
 us on earth, they will be sure to go well in 
 heaven; if the militant church prosper in holi- 
 ness, there is no doubt but it will triumph in 
 glory. Satan does much of his damning work 
 by men, as his instruments ; so that if we escape 
 their temptations, we escape much of our danger. 
 When idolaters prospered, Israel was tempted 
 to idolatry. Most follow the powerful and pros- 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 15 
 
 perous side. And therefore, for the glory of G-od 
 and for our own everlasting salvation, we must, 
 while upon earth, greatly regard our own, and 
 much more the church's welfare. Indeed, if 
 earth be desired only for earth, and prosperity 
 be loved only to gratify the flesh, it is the cer- 
 tain mark of damning carnality and an earthly 
 mind. But to desire peace and prosperity for 
 the sake of souls, the increase of the church, 
 and the honor of God, that "his name may be 
 hallowed, his kingdom come, and his will be 
 done on earth as it is in heaven," accords with 
 the highest and most sacred discharge of duty. 
 " And now, my soul, be not unthankful for 
 the mercies of this present life. This body is 
 so nearly united to thee, that it must needs be 
 a great help or hinderance. Had it been more 
 afflicted, it might have been a discouraging 
 clog, like a tired horse in a journey, or an ill 
 tool to a workman, or an untuned instrument 
 in music. A sick or a bad servant in a house 
 is a great trouble, and much more a bad wife ; 
 but thy body is nearer to thee than either of 
 these could be, and will be more of thy concern. 
 Yet if it had been more strong and healthful, 
 
16 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 sense and appetite would have been strong; 
 and the stronger thy lusts, the greater would 
 have been thy danger, and much more difficult 
 thy victory and salvation. Even weak senses 
 and temptations have too often prevailed. How 
 knowest thou then what stronger might have 
 done ? When I see a thirsty man in a fever, or 
 dropsy, and especially when I see strong and 
 healthful youth bred up in fulness and among 
 temptations, how they are mad in sin, violently 
 carried to it, bearing down the rebukes of God 
 and conscience, parents and friends, and all re- 
 gard to their own salvation, this tells me how 
 great a mercy I had even in a body not liable 
 to their case. Also many a bodily deliverance 
 has been of great use to my soul, renewing my 
 time and opportunity and strength for service, 
 and bringing frequent and fresh reports of the 
 love of God. If bodily mercies were not of 
 great use to the soul, Christ would not so much 
 have showed his saving love as he did, by heal- 
 ing all manner of diseases. Nor would God 
 promise us a resurrection of the body, if a suit- 
 able body did not promote the welfare of the 
 soul. 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE 17 
 
 "I am obliged to great thankfulness to G-od 
 for the mercies of this life which he hath showed 
 to my friends. That which promotes their joy 
 should increase mine. I ought to ' rejoice with 
 them that rejoice.' Nature and grace teach us 
 to be glad when our friends are well and pros- 
 per, though all this must be in order to better 
 things than bodily welfare. 
 
 " Nor must I undervalue such mercies of this 
 life as belong to the land of my nativity. The 
 want of them is part of God's threatened curse ; 
 and ' godliness has a promise of the life that 
 now is, and of that which is to come, and so is 
 profitable unto all things.' When God sends on 
 a land the plagues of pestilence, war, persecu- 
 tion, and famine, especially a famine of the 
 word of God, it is a great sin to be insensible 
 of them. If any shall say, ' While heaven is 
 sure we have no cause to accuse God, or to cast 
 away comfort, hope, or duty,' they say well. 
 But if they say, 'Because heaven is all, we 
 must make light of all that befalls us on earth,' 
 they say amiss. Pious and public-spirited men, 
 who promote the safety, peace, and true pros- 
 perity of the commonwealth, do thereby very 
 
 D. Thoughts. 2 
 
18 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 much "befriend religion and men's salvation, and 
 are greatly to be loved and honored by all. Let 
 me therefore be thankful for the preservation 
 from enemies, the restraint of persecution, the 
 concord of Christians, and increase of godliness 
 in this land, and especially that the gospel is 
 continued in it. 
 
 "Be particularly thankful, my soul, that 
 (rod hath made any use of thee for the service 
 of his church on earth. My God, my soul for 
 this doth magnify thee, and my spirit rejoiceth 
 in the review of thy great undeserved mercy. 
 what am I, whom thou tookest up from the 
 dunghill, or low obscurity, that I should live 
 myself in the constant relish of thy sweet and 
 sacred truth, and with such encouraging suc- 
 cess communicate it to others ? that I may say, 
 now my public work seems ended, that these 
 forty-three or forty-four years I have no reason 
 to think that ever I labored in vain? with 
 what gratitude must I look upon all places 
 where I lived and labored; but, above all, that 
 place which had my strength.^ I bless thee for 
 the great numbers of them gone to heaven, and 
 
 * Kidderminster. 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 19 
 
 for the continuance of piety, humility, concord, 
 and peace among them. Also for all that by 
 my writings have received any saving light 
 and grace. my God, let not my own heart 
 be barren while I labor in thy husbandry to 
 bring others unto holy fruit. Let me not be a 
 stranger to the life and power of that saving 
 truth which I have done so much to communi- 
 cate to others. let not my own words and 
 writings condemn me as void of that divine 
 and heavenly nature and life which I have said 
 so much of to the world. 
 
 "Stir up then, my soul, thy sincere de- 
 sires, and all thy faculties, to do the remnant 
 of the work of Christ appointed thee on earth, 
 and then joyfully wait for the heavenly perfec- 
 tion in God's own time. Thou canst truly say, 
 * To me to live is Christ.' It is his work for 
 which thou livest. Thou hast no other busi- 
 ness in the world. .But thou doest this work 
 with a mixture of many oversights and imper- 
 fections, and too much troublest thy thoughts 
 with distrust about God's part, who never fails. 
 If thy work be done, be thankful for what is 
 past, and that thou art come so near the port 
 
20 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 of rest. If God will add any more to thy days, 
 serve him with double alacrity. The prize is 
 almost within sight. Time is swift and short. 
 Thou hast told others that ' there is no work- 
 ing in the grave,' and that it must be 'now or 
 never. 5 Dream not, because Christ's right- 
 eousness was perfect, that God will save the 
 wicked, or equally reward the slothful and the 
 diligent. As sin is its own punishment, holi- 
 ness is much of its own reward. Whatever 
 God appointed thee to do, gee that thou do it 
 sincerely, and with all thy might. If sin dis- 
 pose men to be angry because it is detected, 
 disgraced, and resisted, so that God be pleased, 
 their wrath should be patiently borne who will 
 shortly be far more angry with themselves. I 
 shall not be hurt when I am with Christ, by 
 the calumnies of men on earth ; but the saving 
 benefit will, by converted sinners, be enjoyed 
 everlastingly. Words and actions are transient 
 things, and being once past, are nothing; but 
 the effect of them on an immortal soul may be 
 endless. All the sermons that I have preached 
 are nothing now; but the grace of God on 
 sanctified souls is the beginning of eternal life. 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 21 
 
 ft is an unspeakable mercy to be thus em- 
 ployed sincerely and with success ; and there- 
 fore I had reason all this while to be in Paul's 
 strait, and make no haste in my ' desires to 
 depart.' The crown will come in its due time, 
 and eternity is long enough to enjoy it, how 
 long soever it be delayed. But if I will do 
 that which must obtain it for myself and 
 others, it must be quickly done, before my 
 declining sun be set. that I had no worse 
 causes of my unwillingness yet to die, than 
 my desire to do the work of life for my own 
 and other men's salvation, and to ' finish my 
 course with joy, and the ministry I have re- 
 ceived of the Lord !' 
 
 "As it is on earth I must do good to others, 
 so it must be in a manner suited to their earthly 
 state. Souls are here closely united to bodies, 
 by which they must receive much good or hurt. 
 Do good to men's bodies, if thou wouldest do 
 good to their souls. Say not, Things corporeal 
 are worthless trifles, for which the receivers 
 will be never the better. They are things that 
 nature is easily sensible of, and sense is the 
 passage to the mind and will. Dost thou not 
 
22 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 find what a help it is to thyself, to have at any- 
 time any ease and alacrity of body ; and what 
 a burden and hinderance pains and cares are ? 
 Labor then to free others from such burdens 
 and temptations, and be not regardless of them. 
 If thou must ' rejoice with them that rejoice, 
 and weep with them that weep,' promote then 
 thy own joy by helping theirs, and avoid thy 
 own sorrows in preventing or curing theirs. 
 But, alas, what power has selfishness in most ! 
 How easily do we hear our brethren's pains 
 and reproaches, wants and afflictions, in com- 
 parison with our own ! How few thoughts, and 
 how little cost and labor do we use for their 
 supply, in comparison with what we do for our- 
 selves ! Nature indeed teaches us to be sensi- 
 ble of our own case ; but grace tells us that 
 we should not make so great a difference as 
 we do, but should love our neighbor as our- 
 selves. 
 
 " And now, my soul, consider how merci- 
 fully God has dealt with thee, that thy strait 
 should be between two conditions so desirable. 
 I shall either die speedily, or stay yet longer 
 upon earth ; whichever it be, it will be a mer- 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 23 
 
 ciful and comfortable state. That it is 4 de- 
 sirable to depart, and be with Christ,' I must 
 not doubt, and shall hereafter more copiously 
 consider. And if my abode on earth yet longer 
 be so great a mercy as to be put into the bal- 
 ance against my present possession of heaven, 
 surely it must be a state which obliges me to 
 great thankfulness to Grod and comfortable 
 acknowledgment: nor should my pain, or sick- 
 ness, or sufferings from men, make this life on 
 earth unacceptable while G-od will continue 
 me in it. Paul had his thorn in the flesh, the 
 messenger of Satan to buffet him, and suffered 
 more from men than I have done ; and yet he 
 ' gloried in his infirmities, and rejoiced in his 
 tribulations, 5 and was 'in a strait betwixt' 
 living and dying ; yea, rather chose to live yet 
 longer, Alas, the strait of most men is be- 
 tween the desire of life for fleshly interest, and 
 the fear of death as ending their felicity ; be- 
 tween a tiring world and body, which make 
 them weary of living, and the dreadful pros- 
 pect of future danger, which makes them afraid 
 of dying. If they live, it is in misery ; if they 
 must die, they fear greater misery: whether 
 
24 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 they look behind or before them, to this world 
 or the next, fear and trouble is their lot. Yea, 
 many serious Christians, through the weakness 
 of their trust in Grod, live in this perplexed 
 strait, weary of living and afraid of dying, con- 
 tinually pressed between grief and fear. But 
 Paul's strait was between two joys, which of 
 them he should desire most. And if that be 
 my case, what should much interrupt my peace 
 or pleasure? If I live, it is for Christ, for his 
 service, and to prepare for my own and his 
 everlasting felicity; and should any suffering 
 make me impatient with such a work, and 
 such a life? If I die presently, it is my gain; 
 God, who appoints me my work, limits my 
 time ; and surely his glorious reward can never 
 be unseasonable, or come too soon, if it be the 
 time that he appoints. When I first engaged 
 myself to preach the gospel, I reckoned, as 
 probable, but upon one or two years, and Grod 
 has made it above forty-four. And what rea- 
 son have I to be unwilling now, either to live 
 or die ? God's service has been so sweet to me 
 that it has overcome the trouble of constant 
 pains or weakness of the flesh, and all that 
 
THIS LIFE DESIRABLE. 25 
 
 men have said and done against me. How 
 much the following exceeds this pleasure, I 
 am not now able to conceive. There is some 
 trouble in all this pleasant work, from which 
 the soul and flesh would rest. And ' blessed 
 are the dead which die in the Lord; yea, saith 
 the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, 
 and their works do follow them. 5 my soul, 
 what need has this kind of strait to trouble 
 thee ? Leave Grod to his own work, and mind 
 that which is thine. So live that thou mayest 
 say, ' Christ liveth in me ; and the life which 
 I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the 
 Son of Grod, who loved me, and gave himsell 
 for me.' Then, as thou hast lived in the com- 
 fort of hope, thou shalt die in the comfort oi 
 vision and enjoyment. And when thou canst 
 say of Grod, 'Whose I am, and whom I serve ;' 
 that thou mayest boldly add, ' I know whom I 
 have believed, and into his hands I commit my 
 departing spirit.' " 
 
26 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE NECESSITY AND REASONABLENESS OF BE. 
 LIEYING THAT PIOUS SEPARATE SPIRITS ARE 
 WITH CHRIST. 
 
 The subject suggests to my thoughts the 
 necessity of "believing that the souls of the 
 godly, when departed hence, shall be with 
 Christ, and the reasonableness of such a faith. 
 "We are elsewhere assured, that " we shall be 
 with him, where he is ;" arid to be with him 
 can be no less than a state of communion, and 
 a participation of happiness. To believe such 
 a state of happiness for departed pious souls, 
 must appear, upon consideration, to be both 
 necessary and reasonable. 
 
 I. The necessity of believing that pious 
 separate spirits are with Christ, appears by 
 considering, that without this belief, we shall 
 be uncertain concerning the design of life — we 
 shall lose the most powerful motives to a holy 
 life — we can neither know, estimate, nor im- 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 27 
 
 prove our mercies, nor can we bear our suf- 
 ferings with comfort. 
 
 1. We shall be uncertain concerning the 
 design of life. It is allowed, that the right 
 end of life is to please God. But I must de- 
 sire to please God better than I do in this im- 
 perfect state, I must desire to please him per- 
 fectly. And our desires of our ultimate end 
 must have no bounds. God has made the 
 desire of our own happiness so necessary to the 
 soul of man, that it cannot be separated from 
 our desire to please him. Therefore, both in 
 respect to God and to our own happiness, we 
 must believe that he is the everlasting " re- 
 warder of them that diligently seek him." If 
 we knew not whether God will turn our pleas- 
 ing him to our loss, or to our having no gain 
 by pleasing him, this would hinder our love to 
 him, and our trust and joy in him; and con- 
 sequently hinder the cheerfulness, sincerity, 
 and constancy of our obedience. Had we no 
 certainty what God will do w T ith us, we must 
 have some probability and hope before we can 
 be entirely devoted to his service. How can a 
 man pitch upon an uncertain end? If he wa- 
 
28 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ver so as to have no end, he can use no means; 
 he lives not as a man, but as a brute. Or if 
 he pitch upon a wrong end, he will but make 
 work for repentance. 
 
 2. We shall lose the most powerful motives 
 to a holy life. Indeed, goodness is desirable 
 for itself; but the goodness of means is their 
 fitness for the end. We have here abundance 
 of hinderances, temptations, and difficulties, 
 which must be overcome. Our natures are 
 diseased, and greatly indisposed to the most 
 necessary duties; and will they ever be dis- 
 charged, if the necessary motives be not be- 
 lieved? Our duties to God and man may cost 
 us our estates, liberties, and lives. The world 
 is not so happy as commonly to know good men 
 from bad, or to encourage piety and virtue, or 
 to forbear .opposing them. And who will let 
 go his present welfare without some hope of 
 better as a reward? Men do not use to " serve 
 God for naught," or while they think it will be 
 their loss to serve him. A life of sin will not 
 be avoided for inferior motives. When lust 
 and appetite incline men strongly and con- 
 stantly to their respective objects, what shall 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 29 
 
 sufficiently restrain them, except the motives 
 from things eternal? If sin so overspread the 
 earth, notwithstanding all the hopes and fears 
 of a life to come, what would it do if there were 
 no such hopes and fears ? 
 
 3. We can neither know, estimate, nor im- 
 prove our mercies. Grod gives us all the mer- 
 cies of this life as helps to an immortal state 
 of glory, and as earnests of it. Sensualists 
 know not what a soul is, nor what soul-mer- 
 cies are, and therefore know not the just value 
 of all bodily mercies, but take up only with 
 the carcass, shell, or shadoiv, instead of the 
 life of their mercies. No wonder they are so 
 unthankful for God's mercies, when they know 
 not the real excellence of them. 
 
 4. Nor can we bear our present sufferings 
 with comfort, without the hope of living with 
 Christ. "What should support and comfort me 
 under my bodily languishings and pains, my 
 weary hours, and daily experience of the van- 
 ity and vexation of all things under the sun, 
 had I not a prospect of the comfortable end of 
 all ? 1, that have lived in the midst of great 
 and precious mercies, have all my life had 
 
30 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 something to do to overcome the temptation of 
 wishing that I had never been horn; and had 
 never overcome it, hut by the helief of a hlessed 
 life hereafter. We should be strongly tempted, 
 in our considerate moments, to murmur at our 
 Creator as dealing worse by us than by the 
 brutes, if we must have had all. those cares 
 and griefs and fears — by the knowledge of what 
 we want, and the prospect of death and future 
 evils — which they are exempted from, and had 
 not withal the hope of future felicity to sup- 
 port us. Seneca had no better argument to 
 silence such murmurers than to tell them, "If 
 this life have more evil than good, and you 
 think G-od does you wrong, you may remedy 
 yourselves by ending it when you will." But 
 that could not cure the repinings of nature, 
 when weary of the miseries of life, and yet 
 afraid of dying. No wonder that so many 
 fancied that souls were punished in these 
 bodies for something done in a preexi stent 
 state. "0 how contemptible a thing is man," 
 says Seneca, "unless he lifts up himself above 
 human things." Therefore says Solomon, 
 when he had tried all sensual enjoyments, " I 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 31 
 
 hated life, because the work that is wrought 
 under the sun is grievous unto me; for all is 
 vanity and vexation of spirit." 
 
 II. As for the reasonableness of believing 
 that pious separate spirits are with Christ, I 
 have often thought whether an implicit belief 
 of it may not be better than searching into its 
 nature, and trying what can be said against it 
 I have known many godly women who nevei 
 disputed the matter, but served G-od comforta- 
 bly to a very old age, and who lived many 
 years in such a cheerful readiness and desire 
 for death as few studious men ever attain to. 
 This no doubt was the divine reward of their 
 unwavering confidence and trust in the prom- 
 ises through Christ. On .the contrary, as 
 doubts and difficulties are apt to present them- 
 selves to an inquisitive mind, they must be 
 answered; for if we reject them unanswered, 
 we give them half the victory over us ; and a 
 faith that is not upheld by such evidence oi 
 truth as reason can discern and justify, is often 
 joined with much doubting, which men dare not 
 confess, but do not therefore overcome ; and 
 
32 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 the weakness of such a faith may tend to en- 
 feeble all the graces and duties which should 
 he strengthened by it. Who knows how soon 
 a temptation from Satan, or infidels, or from 
 our own dark hearts, may assault us, which 
 will not be overcome without clear evidence ? 
 Yet many that try and reason and dispute 
 most, have not the stronger faith. Indeed, 
 there is a wide difference between that light 
 which discovers the thing itself, and a mere 
 artificial kind of knowledge, to form arguments 
 and answer objections. Unlearned persons, 
 who have little of the latter may have more of 
 the former, even that teaching from God which 
 reaches the heart as well as the understanding. 
 And who does not find it necessary to pray 
 hard for this divine teaching ? When I can 
 prove the truth of the word of God and of the 
 life to come with the most convincing evidence 
 of reason, I feel my need to cry daily to God 
 to " increase my faith," and to give me that 
 light which may sanctify the soul and reach 
 the end. Nevertheless, this effectual teaching 
 ordinarily supposes that which is artificial. 
 Unlearned Christians arc convinced, by good 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 33 
 
 evidence, that God's word is true and his re- 
 wards sure, though they cannot state that 
 evidence, or conceive of it without some con- 
 fusion. With respect to curious and needless 
 inquiries beyond what is revealed, it is a be- 
 liever's wisdom implicitly to trust his soul to 
 Christ, and to fear that vain, vexatious know- 
 ledge, which is selfish and savors of a distrust 
 of God, and is that sin and fruit of sin which 
 the learned world too little fears. That "God 
 is the rewarder of them that diligently, seek 
 him," and that holy souls shall be in blessed- 
 ness with Christ, I am convinced by the fol- 
 lowing concurrent evidences, on which my soul 
 raises its hopes : The immortality of the soul ; 
 the belief of it naturally implanted in all men ; 
 the duty of all men to seek after future happi- 
 ness; the difference between men and brutes, 
 concerning the knowledge of God and futuri- 
 ty; the justice of God, as the governor of the 
 world; divine revelation; God's hearing and 
 answering prayer; the ministration of angels; 
 the temptations of Satan, and especially the 
 sanctifying operations of the Spirit of God. 
 1. The soul of man is immortal; and there- 
 
34 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 fore, if good, cannot be for ever in a bad con- 
 dition. An immortal spirit is "a distinct, self- 
 conscious, invisible being, endowed with natu< 
 ral powers of never-ceasing action, understand- 
 ing, and will, and which is neither annihilated 
 nor destroyed by separation of parts." Such 
 is the soul of man. If in this flesh our spirits 
 were not inactive and useless, we have no rea- 
 son to think that they will be so hereafter, and 
 that for ever. Though by the light of nature 
 we may know the immortality of souls, yet 
 without supernatural light we know not what 
 manner of action they will have in their sepa- 
 rate state. It satisfies me, that Grod will not 
 continue their noblest powers in vain ; and how 
 those powers shall be exercised is known to 
 him; and this his word tells us more than 
 nature. All things considered, there is no rea- 
 son to fear that souls shall lose their activity, 
 though they change their manner of action; 
 and so it is naturally certain that they are im- 
 mortal. And if holy souls are so far immortal, 
 their holiness must prove their happy immor- 
 tality. This the most just and holy God will 
 certainly secure to those whom he makes holy. 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 35 
 
 2. The "belief of the soul's immortality is 
 naturally implanted in all men. Almost all 
 pagan nations at this day,. as well as the Mo- 
 hammedans, believe it. As for the cannibals 
 and savages, whose understandings are least 
 improved, they are rather ignorant of it than 
 disbelieve it. Though some philosophers de- 
 nied it, they were every way inconsiderable : 
 though many others were doubtful, it was only 
 a certainty which they professed to want, and 
 not a probability. Most of the apostates from 
 Christianity, besides those philosophers who 
 have been its violent opposers, fully acknow- 
 ledged it. Julian was so persuaded of it, that 
 with a view to it he exhorted his priests and 
 the rest of his subjects to great strictness of 
 life, and to see that the Christians did not ex- 
 ceed them. Indeed, few of those that affect, 
 like the Sadducees, to disbelieve it, are able to 
 free themselves from the fears of future mis- 
 ery ; but, with all their efforts, conscience still 
 troubles them. And whence should all this be 
 in man, and not in beasts, if man had no more 
 cause for hopes and fears than they? 
 
 3. God has made it every man's duty to seek 
 
36 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 after future happiness as the one thing need- 
 ful, and therefore there must certainly be such 
 a happiness for them that truly seek it. Some 
 believe a state of future retribution, as Chris- 
 tians, Mohammedans, and most heathens. 
 Others think it is uncertain, yet very probable. 
 And to others it is also uncertain, though they 
 rather think it untrue. Now all these ought 
 to seek after it, and make it their chief care 
 and labor; for natural reason requires every 
 man to seek that which is best with the greatest 
 diligence, and assures us that a probability 
 or possibility of future everlasting happiness is 
 better, and more worthy to be sought, than 
 any thing attainable in this present life. As 
 the will of man necessarily desires happiness, 
 it must desire that most which is best, and 
 which is known to be so. In this life there is 
 nothing certain for an hour. It is certain that 
 the longest life is short. It is certain that time 
 and sensual pleasure, when past, are nothing, 
 and no better than if they had never been. It 
 is also certain, that they are dissatisfying while 
 we possess them ; for carnal pleasure is no 
 sweeter to a man than to a beast, and to a 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 37 
 
 beast is unattended with fear of death, or any 
 misery after death ; nor has the beast any 
 labors, sufferings, or trials, in order to obtain 
 a future happiness, or avoid a future misery 
 Besides, it is self-evident, from the perfections 
 of Grod, and from the nature of his works, that 
 he does not make it man's natural duty to care 
 and labor most for that which is not, or to seek 
 what is not to be attained. If so, the duty of 
 man would result from deceit and falsehood ; 
 and Grod would govern the world by a lie, and 
 not by power, wisdom, and love ; and the bet- 
 ter any man was, and the more he did his duty, 
 he would be only the more deluded and miser- 
 able : and the more wicked and unbelieving 
 any man was, the wiser and happier would he 
 be. But all this is contrary 'to the perfections 
 and works of Grod; for he makes nothing in 
 vain, nor can he lie : much less will he make 
 holiness itself, and all that duty and work of 
 life which reason obliges all men to perform, to 
 be not only vain, but pernicious. 
 
 4. The difference between men and brutes 
 with respect to the knowledge of Grod and 
 futurity, shows that they differ as much in 
 
38 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 their hopes. Man knows that there is a God 
 by his works ; and that this God is our Lord, 
 our ruler, and end, and that we naturally owe 
 him all our love and obedience ; and that it is 
 not the manner, even of good men, ever to suf- 
 fer their most faithful servants to be losers by 
 their fidelity, or to set them upon laboring in 
 vain. Man also knows that his own soul is 
 immortal, and therefore must be well or ill for 
 ever, and that this ought to be cared for. And 
 why should God give man all this knowledge 
 more than the brutes, if man is designed for no 
 more happiness than brutes ? Every wise man 
 makes his work fit for its design ; and will not 
 God do so? If God was not perfectly wise, he 
 would not be God. Therefore to deny man's 
 future hopes, is to deny God himself. 
 
 5. The justice of God as the governor of the 
 world, infers a state of future retribution. If 
 God did not govern man by laws, judgment, 
 and executions, there would be no proper law 
 of nature, and man would have no proper duty, 
 nor be in sin or fault. But experience tells us 
 that God morally governs the world; and his 
 right to do so is unquestionable. If God was 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 39 
 
 not the ruler of the world, the world would 
 have no universal laws, for no man is the uni- 
 versal ruler ; nor are kings, and other supreme 
 powers, utterly lawless and ungoverned. And 
 if God he a ruler, he is just; else he is not so 
 good as he requires earthly princes to he. But 
 how is God a righteous ruler, if he draws all 
 men to him hy deceit; if he ohliges them to 
 seek and expect a reward which he will never 
 give ; if he makes man's duty his misery; if he 
 requires man to lahor in vain ; if he suffer the 
 wicked to persecute and kill his servants, with- 
 out punishing the one and gloriously recom- 
 pensing the other, in a future state ? 
 
 6. The gospel revelation is the clear foun- 
 dation of our faith and hope. God has not left 
 us to the mere light of nature. " Christ has 
 brought life and immortality to light." One 
 greater than an angel was sent from heaven to 
 tell us what is there, and which is the way, and 
 to secure our hopes. He has conquered death, 
 and entered before us, as our captain and fore- 
 runner, into the everlasting habitations. He 
 has "all pqwer in heaven and earth, and all 
 judgment is committed to him." All his word 
 
40 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 is full of promises of our future glory at the 
 resurrection. Nor are we without assurance 
 that the departing soul at death enters upon a 
 state of joy and blessedness, as appears by the 
 promise to the penitent thief on the cross ; the 
 parable of the rich man and Lazarus; Christ's 
 telling the Sadducees that God "is not the 
 G-od of the dead, but of the living;" the trans- 
 lation of Enoch and Elijah, and the appear- 
 ance of Moses and Elijah on the mount of trans- 
 figuration; our Lord's arguing, that "they who 
 kill the body are not able to kill the soul;" his 
 " commending his spirit into his Father's hands," 
 and its being in paradise, while his body was in 
 the grave; his promising, ""Where I am, there 
 shall also my servant be," etc. ; Stephen's see- 
 ing heaven opened, and his praying, "Lord 
 Jesus, receive my spirit;" our being "come to 
 the spirits of just men made perfect;" Paul's 
 desiring to depart, and to be with Christ, which 
 is far better, and to be absent from the body, 
 and present with the Lord ; the blessedness ot 
 the dead who die in the Lord ; the disobedient 
 spirits being in prison, and the cities of Sodom 
 and (xomorrah suffering the vengeance of eter- 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 41 
 
 nal fire; also Christ's saying, "When ye fail," 
 that is, leave this world, "ye shall be received 
 into everlasting habitations." 
 
 7. Grod's hearing and answering prayer in 
 this life, assures his servants that he is their 
 true and faithful Saviour. How often have I 
 cried to him when there appeared to be no help 
 in second causes; and how frequently, sud- 
 denly, and mercifully has he delivered me! 
 Such extraordinary changes, beyond my own 
 and others' expectations, while many plain- 
 hearted, upright Christians, by fasting and 
 prayer, sought Grod on my behalf, have abun- 
 dantly convinced me of a special providence, 
 and that Grod is indeed a hearer of prayer. I 
 have also seen wonders done for others by 
 prayer more than for myself: though I and 
 others are too much like those who " cried 
 unto the Lord in their trouble, and he saved 
 them out of their distresses ; but they forgot 
 his works, and his wonders that he showed 
 them." And what were all those merciful 
 answers, but the fruits of Christ's power, 
 faithfulness, and love, the fulfilling of his 
 promises, and the earnest of the greater bless- 
 
42 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ing of immortality, which the same promises 
 entitle me to ? 
 
 8. The ministration of angels is also a help 
 to my belief of immortality with Christ. " They 
 have charge over us; encamp round about us; 
 hear us up in their hands ; joy in the presence 
 of God over our repentance ; and are all min- 
 istering spirits, sent forth to minister to the 
 heirs of salvation. As our angels, they always 
 behold the face of our Father which is in heav- 
 en. When the Son of man shall come in his 
 glory, all the holy angels shall come with him, 
 and he shall send them forth, and they shall 
 sever the wicked from among the just." Not 
 only of old did they appear to the faithful as 
 messengers from God, but many mercies does 
 God give to us by their ministry. And that 
 they are now so friendly and helpful to us, and 
 make up one society with us, greatly encour- 
 ages us to hope that we are made for the same 
 region, employment, and converse. They were 
 once in a life of trial, though not on earth ; and 
 having overcome, they rejoice in our victory. 
 The world above us is not uninhabited, nor be- 
 yond our capacity and hope ; but we are come 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 43 
 
 to the city of the living God, and to an innu- 
 merable company of angels. 
 
 9. Even Satan himself, by his temptations, 
 has many ways cherished my hopes of immor- 
 tality. There are few men, I think,- that ob- 
 serve what passes within them, but have had 
 some experience of such inward temptations as 
 show that the author of them is an invisible 
 enemy, and assure us that there are diabol- 
 ical spirits which seek man's misery by tempt- 
 ing him to sin, and consequently that future 
 happiness or misery must be expected by us 
 all. 
 
 10. More especially the sanctifying opera- 
 tions of the Spirit of God are the earnest of 
 heaven, and the sure prognostic of our immor- 
 tal happiness. It is a change of grand impor- 
 tance to man, to be renewed in his mind, his 
 will, and life. It repairs his depraved facul- 
 ties. It causes man to live as man, who was 
 degenerated to a life too much like the brutes. 
 Men are slaves to sin till Christ makes them 
 free. " Where the Spirit of the Lord is, th&re 
 is liberty." If 'Vthe love of G-od shed abroad 
 in our hearts" be not our. excellence, health, 
 
44 LYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 and beauty, what is ? " That which is born of 
 the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the 
 Spirit is spirit." " Without Christ" and his 
 Spirit, "we can do nothing." Our dead no- 
 tions and reason, though we see the truth, have 
 not power to overcome temptations, nor raise 
 up man's soul to its original end, nor possess 
 us with the love and joyful hope of future 
 blessedness. It were better for us to have no 
 souls, than have ouy souls devoid of the Spirit 
 of G-od. Heaven is the design and end of this 
 important change. What is our knowledge and 
 faith, but to know and believe that heaven con- 
 sists in the glory and love of God fhere mani- 
 fested, and that it was purchased by Christ, and 
 given by his covenant? What is our hope but 
 "the hope of glory," which we through the 
 Spirit wait for ? What is our love but a desire 
 of communion with the blessed Grod, begun 
 here, and perfected hereafter? What Christ 
 teaches and commands, he works in us by his 
 Spirit. He sends not his Spirit to make men 
 craftier than others for this world, but "wiser 
 to salvation," and more hoty and heavenly. 
 " The children of this world are in their gener- 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 45 
 
 ation wiser than the children of light." Heav- 
 enly mindedness is the special work of the Spirit. 
 In producing this change, the Spirit overcomes 
 all opposition from the world, the flesh, and the 
 devil. Christ first overcame the world, and 
 teaches and causes us to overcome it, even in its 
 flatteries and its frowns. " Our faith is our vic- 
 tory." "Whether this victory "be easy and hon- 
 orable to the Spirit of Christ, let us appeal to 
 our experience of the wickedness of the world, 
 and of our own weakness and falls. None can 
 do this work on the soul of man but God. Not 
 the most learned and holy teachers, or the wisest 
 and most affectionate parents, or the greatest 
 princes. Evil angels neither can nor will do it. 
 Q-ood angels do nothing towards it, but as obe- 
 dient ministers of God. We cannot quicken, 
 illuminate, or sanctify ourselves ; and though 
 we have some power, both conscience and expe- 
 rience testify that we have nothing but " what 
 we have received." Christ promised his Spirit 
 to all true believers, to be in them as his advo- 
 cate, agent, seal, and mark; and indeed the 
 Spirit here, and heaven hereafter, are the chief 
 of his promises. That this Spirit is given to 
 
46 DYING- THOUGHTS. 
 
 all true believers, is evident by the effects of it. 
 They have ends, affections, and lives different 
 from the rest of mankind; they live upon the 
 hope of a better life, and their heavenly inter- 
 est overrules all the opposite interests of this 
 world, in order to which they live under the 
 conduct of divine authority; and to obey and 
 please Grod is the great business of their lives. 
 The men of the world discern this difference, 
 and therefore hate and oppose them because 
 they find themselves condemned by their heav- 
 enly temper and conversation. Believers are 
 conscious of this difference, for they desire to 
 be better, and to trust and love G-od more, and 
 to have more of the heavenly life and comforts ; 
 and when their infirmities make them doubt 
 of their own sincerity, they would not change 
 their governor, rule, or hopes for all the world ; 
 and it is never so well and pleasant with them 
 as when they can trust and love Grod most ; and 
 in their worst and weakest condition, they 
 would fain be perfect. Indeed, whatever real 
 goodness is found among men, it is given by the 
 same Spirit of Christ ; but it is notorious that 
 in heavenly mindedness and virtue, no part of 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 47 
 
 the world is comparable to serious Christians. 
 This spirit Christ also expressly promised, as 
 the means and pledges, the first-fruits and ear- 
 nest of the heavenly glory ; and therefore it is 
 a certain proof that we shall have such a glory. 
 He that gives us such a spiritual charge, which 
 in its nature and tendency is heavenly ; he that 
 sets our hopes and hearts on heaven, and turns 
 the endeavors of our lives towards future bless- 
 edness, and promised this preparatory grace as 
 the earnest of that felicity, may well be trusted 
 to perform his word in our complete, eternal 
 glory. 
 
 And now, weak and fearful soul, why 
 shouldest thou draw back, as if the matter was 
 doubtful ? Is not thy foundation firm ? Is not 
 the way of life, through the valley of death, 
 made safe by him that conquered death ? Art 
 thou not yet delivered from the bondage of thy 
 fears ? Hast thou not long ago found in thee 
 the motions and effectual operations of this 
 Spirit ? And is he not still residing and work- 
 ing in thee as the agent and witness of Christ ? 
 If not, whence are thy groanings after God, 
 thy desires to be nearer to his glory, to know 
 
48 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 him and love him more? "Whence came all 
 the pleasure thou hast had in his sacred truth 
 and ways and service ? "Who subdued for thee 
 thy folly, pride, and vain desires ? "Who made 
 it thy choice to sit at the feet of Jesus, and hear 
 his word as the better part, and count the hon- 
 ors and preferments of the world but dung and 
 dross? "Who breathed in all those requests 
 thou hast sent up to Grod ? Overvalue not cor- 
 rupt nature, it brings forth no such fruits as 
 these. Remember what thou wast in the hour 
 of temptation, how small a matter has drawn 
 thee to sin. Forget not the days of thy youth- 
 ful vanity. Overlook not the case of thy sin- 
 ful neighbors, who in the midst of light still 
 live in darkness, and hear not the loudest calls 
 of God. Is it no work of Christ's Spirit that 
 has made thee to differ ? Thou hast nothing to 
 boast of, and much to be humbled and also to 
 be thankful for. Thy holy desires are, alas, too 
 weak, but they are holy. Thy love has been 
 too cold; but it is the most holy Grod whom 
 thou hast loved. Thy hopes have been too low ; 
 but thou hast hoped in Grod, and for his heav- 
 enly glory. Thy prayers have been too dull 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 49 
 
 and interrupted ; but thou hast prayed for holi- 
 ness and heaven. Thy labors have been too 
 slothful; but thou hast labored for God and 
 Christ, and the good of mankind. Though thy 
 motion was too weak and slow, it has been God- 
 ward, and therefore it is from God. bless 
 the Lord, not only for giving thee his word and 
 sealing it with uncontrolled miracles, but also 
 for frequently and remarkably fulfilling his 
 promises in the answer of thy prayers, and in 
 great deliverance of thyself and of many oth- 
 ers ; and that he has by regeneration been pre- 
 paring thee for the light of glory. And wilt 
 thou yet doubt and fear, against all this evi- 
 dence, experience, and foretaste? 
 
 I think it no needless labor to confirm my 
 soul in the full persuasion of the truth of its 
 immortal nature, and of a future life of joy or 
 misery, and of the certain truth of the Chris- 
 tian faith. I can no more doubt the being and 
 perfections of God, than whether there be an 
 earth or a sun. Christianity is only known by 
 revelation, which is so attested externally to 
 the world, internally to holy souls, as makes 
 faith a ruling, victorious, and comfortable 
 
 D Thoughts 4 
 
50 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 principle. But the soul's immortality and 
 future reward is known in some measure by 
 the light of nature, and more perfectly by rev- 
 elation. "When I consider the great unlikeness 
 of men's hearts and lives to such a belief as we 
 all profess, I cannot but fear, that not only the 
 ungodly, but most that truly hope for glory $ 
 have a far weaker belief of the soul's immor- 
 tality, and the truth of the gospel, than they 
 are apt to imagine. Can I be fully persuaded 
 of the future rewards and punishments of souls, 
 and that we shall be judged hereafter as we 
 have lived here, without despising all the vani- 
 ties of the world, and setting my heart with 
 resolution and diligence to a holy, heavenly, 
 fruitful life ? Who could stand trifling, as most 
 men do, at the door of eternity, that verily be- 
 lieved his immortal soul must be shortly there ? 
 Though such a one had no certainty of his own 
 salvation, he would nevertheless search and 
 try, watch and pray, and spare no care, cost, 
 or labor, to make all sure. If a man once saw 
 heaven and hell, would he not afterwards ex- 
 ceed the most resolute believer ? I confess there 
 is much weakness of faith in things unseen, 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 51 
 
 even where there is sincerity. But where there 
 is little diligence for the world to come, I must 
 think there is but little belief of it, and that 
 such persons are not aware how much they 
 secretly doubt the truth of it. Most complain 
 of the uncertainty of their title to salvation, 
 and very little of their uncertainty whether 
 there be a heaven and a hell. Whereas a hearty 
 persuasion of the latter would do more to con- 
 vince them of the former, than long examina- 
 tions and many marks of trial. It would 
 indeed confound faith and reason, if in the 
 body we had as clear and lively apprehensions 
 of heaven and hell as sight would occasion; 
 nor is the soul fit, while in the body, to bear 
 such a sight. But yet there is an overruling 
 seriousness, to which the soul must be brought 
 by a firm persuasion of future things. And 
 he that is careful and serious for this world, 
 and looks after a better only as a secondary 
 object, must give me leave to think that he 
 believes but as he lives, and that his doubting 
 of a heaven and hell is greater than his belief. 
 then, for what should my soul more pray, 
 than for a clearer and stronger faith? "I be- 
 
52 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 lieve ; Lord, help my unbelief. I have many 
 thousand times groaned to thee under this bur- 
 den of remaining darkness and unbelief : I have 
 many thousand times thought of the evidences 
 of Christianity, and of the necessity of a lively, 
 powerful, active faith. I have cried to thee 
 night and day, 'Lord, increase my faith.' I 
 have written and spoken that to others, which 
 might he most useful to myself, and render my 
 faith more like sense. Yet, Lord, how dark is 
 this world! "What a dungeon is flesh! How 
 little clearer are my perceptions of things un- 
 seen, than they were long ago ! Is no more 
 growth of them to he expected ? Does the soul 
 no more increase in vigorous perception, when 
 the body no more increases in the vigor of sen- 
 sation ? Must I sit down with so slow a meas- 
 ure, when I am almost there, where faith is 
 changed for sight? let not a soul that is 
 driven from this world, and weary of vanity, 
 and can think of little else but immortality, 
 that seeks and cries both night and day for the 
 heavenly light, and fain would have some fore- 
 taste of glory, and some more of the first-fruits 
 of the promised joys — let not such a soul either 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 53 
 
 long, or cry, or strive in vain. Punish not my 
 former grieving of thy Spirit, by deserting a 
 soul that cries for thy grace, so near its great 
 and inconceivable change. Let me not languish 
 "in vain desires, at the door of hope ; nor pass 
 with doubts and fears from this vale of misery. 
 "Which should be the season of triumphant faith 
 and hope and joy, if not when I am entering 
 on the world of joy? thou that hast left us 
 so many words of promise, 'that our joy may 
 be full,' send, send the Comforter ; for 
 without his heavenly beams, after a thousand 
 thoughts and cares, it will still be night and 
 winter with my soul." 
 
 But I fear a distrust of G-od and my Redeem- 
 er has had too great a part in my desires after 
 a more distinct knowledge than Grod ordinarily 
 gives to souls in flesh. I know that I should 
 implicitly, absolutely, and quietly commit my 
 soul into my Redeemer's hands ; for a distrust- 
 ful care of the soul, as well as the body, is our 
 great sin and misery. Yet we must desire that 
 our knowledge and belief may be as distinct as 
 divine revelations are. We can love no further 
 than we know ; and the more we know of Grod 
 
54 DYING- THOUGHTS. 
 
 and glory, the more we shall love, desire, and 
 trust. If I may not be ambitious of too sensi- 
 ble and distinct foretastes of things unseen, yet 
 I must desire and beg the most fervent love of 
 them of which I am capable, that my soul may 
 not pass with distrust and terror, but with suit- 
 able triumphant hopes, to everlasting pleasures. 
 " Father of lights, who givest wisdom to them 
 that ask, shut not up this sinful soul in dark- 
 ness. Leave me not to grope in unsatisfied 
 doubts at the door of celestial light. Deny me 
 not now the lively exercise of faith, hope, and 
 love, which are the stirrings of the new crea- 
 ture, the dawnings of eternal day, and the ear- 
 nest of the promised inheritance." Though, 
 like Cicero, after reading Plato's book on im- 
 mortality, our doubts return, and our fear inter- 
 rupts and weakens our desires and joys; yet I 
 find that it is chiefly an irrational fear, occa- 
 sioned by the darkness of the mind, the great- 
 ness of the change, the dreadful majesty of Grod, 
 and man's natural aversion to death, even when 
 reason is fully satisfied that such fear is con- 
 sistent with certain safety. Were I on the top 
 of a castle or steeple, fastened by the strongest 
 
DEPARTED SPIRITS WITH CHRIST. 55 
 
 chains, or guarded "by the surest "battlements, 
 I could not possibly look down without fear; 
 and so it is with our prospect into the life to 
 come. If therefore my soul sees undeniable 
 evidence of immortality, and is able by irre- 
 fragable arguments to prove a future blessed- 
 ness; if I am convinced that divine promises 
 are true, and trust my soul and all my hope 
 upon them ; then neither my averseness to die, 
 nor my irrational fear of entering upon eternity, 
 can invalidate the reasons of my hope, or prove 
 the unsoundness of my faith, but only the weak- 
 ness of it. ""Why are ye fearful, ye of little 
 faith?" was Christ's just reproof to his disci- 
 ples. A timorous heart needs to be chided, by 
 saying, "Why art thou cast down, my soul? 
 and why art thou disquieted within me ? Hope 
 thou in Grod," etc. 
 
5G DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 WHAT IT IS TO DEPART, AND TO BE WITH 
 CHRIST. 
 
 Having proved that faith and hope have a 
 certain future happiness to expect, the text 
 directs me next to consider, what it is to he 
 with Christ ; and, what it is to depart, in 
 order to he with him. 
 
 I. To he with Christ, includes presence 
 with him, union to him, and participation of 
 his happiness. 
 
 1. The presence of Christ, which pious sep- 
 arate spirits shall enjoy, must refer to his God- 
 head as well as to his human soul and hody. 
 "We shall he present with the divine nature of 
 Christ, as manifested in and by his glory. He 
 teaches us to pray, "Our Father, which art in 
 heaven," because in heaven the Father glori- 
 ously shines forth to holy souls. The soul of 
 man is eminently said to be in the head, be- 
 cause there it understands and reasons; and 
 not in the foot or hand, though it be also there. 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 57 
 
 As we look a man in the face when w r e talk to 
 him, so we look up to heaven when we pray 
 to G-od. Though "in God w r e live, and move, 
 and have our being," both as the G-od of na- 
 ture and grace, yet by the works and splendor 
 of his glory he is eminently in heaven, mani- 
 festing himself there by some created glory ; for 
 his essence is the same everywhere. We shall 
 be present with the human nature of Christ, 
 both soul and body. But here our present 
 narrow thoughts must not too boldly presume 
 to determine the difference between Christ's 
 glorified body, and his flesh upon earth; nor 
 where his glorified body is, nor how far it ex- 
 tends; nor wherein his soul and his glorified 
 body differ, seeing it is called a spiritual body. 
 We can conceive no more of such a body than 
 that it is pure, incorruptible, invisible to mor- 
 tal eyes, and fitted to the most perfect state of 
 the soul. Nor need we wonder how a whole 
 world of glorified bodies can all of them be 
 present with the one body of Christ; for as 
 the solar beams are so present with the air 
 that none can discern the difference of the 
 places w r hich they possess, and a world of 
 
58 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 bodies are present with them both ; so may all 
 our bodies, without any confusion, be present 
 with Christ's body. 
 
 2. The union to Christ which pious separate 
 spirits shall also enjoy, must be like that of 
 subjects to their king; but how much more we 
 know not. The more spiritual, pure, and noble 
 any natures are, the more inclination they have 
 to union. Such instances of union as the vine 
 and branches, the head and members, are of 
 extensive import; yet being but similitudes, 
 we cannot determine how extensive. Far be 
 it from us to think that Christ's glorified body 
 is of such an earthly composition, and of such 
 a limited extent, as it was here; for then, as 
 his disciples and a few more were present with 
 him, while the rest of the world were absent 
 and had none of his company, so it would be 
 in heaven. But all true believers, from the 
 creation to the end of the world, as well as a 
 Paul, shall "be with Christ, and see his glory." 
 And though there will be different degrees of 
 glory, as there have been of holiness, yet none 
 in heaven are at such a distance from Christ 
 as not to enjoy the felicity of his presence. 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 59 
 
 3. "We shall also have communion with the 
 divine and human natures of Christ; both 
 which shall be the felicitating objects of per- 
 fect knowledge and holy love to the separate 
 spirits, before the resurrection. The chief part 
 of this communion will consist in Christ's com- 
 munications to the soul. As the whole crea- 
 tion is more dependent on God than the fruit 
 on the tree, or plant on the earth, or the mem- 
 bers on the body, so God uses second causes 
 in his communications to inferior natures ; 
 and it is more than probable that Christ's hu- 
 man nature is the second cause of communi- 
 cating both grace and glory, both to man in the 
 body and to the separate soul. As the sun is 
 both the cause and object of sight to the eye, 
 so is Christ to the soul. For as God, so the 
 Lamb is the light and glory of the heavenly 
 Jerusalem, and in his light they shall have 
 light. Though Christ shall give up the king- 
 dom to the Father, so that God may be "all 
 in all," and his creatures be fully restored to 
 his favor, and a healing government for recov- 
 ering lapsed souls to God shall be no more 
 needed ; yet surely he will not cease to be our 
 
60 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 Mediator, the church's head, and the channel 
 of everlasting light, life, and love to all his 
 members. As "we now live because he lives," 
 like the tranches in the vine ; and as the Spirit 
 that now quickens, enlightens, and sanctifies 
 us, is first the Spirit of Christ before it is ours, 
 and is communicated from God through him to 
 us ; so will it be in the state of glory : there 
 our union and communion with him will be 
 perfected, and not destroyed or diminished. 
 As it would be arrogance to think we shall be 
 above the need and use of Christ and his com- 
 munications ; so, I doubt not, we shall ever have 
 use for one another, as is plainly intimated by 
 " sitting down with Abraham, Isaac, and Ja- 
 cob, in the kingdom of God ;" by being "in 
 Abraham's bosom;" by "sitting at Christ's 
 right and left hand in his kingdom;" by being 
 "made ruler over ten cities;" and by joining 
 with those that "sing the song of Moses and 
 of the Lamb." 
 
 And certainly if I be "with Christ," I shall 
 be with all them that are with Christ, even 
 with all the heavenly society. Our mortal 
 bodies must have so much room, that the earth 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 61 
 
 is little enough for all its inhabitants, bo nar- 
 i row is our capacity of communion here, that 
 those of the antipodes, or on the opposite side 
 of the earth, are almost as strange to us as if 
 they were in another w r orld. "What strangers 
 are we to those of another kingdom, county, 
 or parish, and even of another house. But we 
 have great cause to think, by many scriptural 
 expressions, that our heavenly union and com- 
 munion will be nearer and more extensive, and 
 that ail the glorified shall know each other. It 
 is, I confess, a pleasant thought to me, and 
 greatly helps my willingness to die, to think 
 that I shall go to all the holy ones, both Christ 
 and angels and pious separate spirits. They 
 are each of them better and more amiable than I 
 am. Many are better than one, and the perfect 
 whole than a sinful part, and the new Jerusa- 
 lem is the glory of the creation. God has given 
 me & love to all that are holy, for their holi- 
 ness; and a love to the work of love and praise, 
 which they continually and perfectly perform ; 
 and a love to his celestial habitation, to his 
 glory shining there. My old acquaintance with 
 many a holy person gone to Christ, makes my 
 
62 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 thoughts of heaven the more familiar to me. 
 how many of them could I name ! And it is* 
 no small encouragement to one that is to enter 
 upon an unseen world, to think that he goes no 
 untrodden path, nor enters into a solitary or 
 singular state, but follows all that from the 
 creation to this day have passed by death into 
 endless life. how emboldening to consider 
 that I am to go the same way, and to the same 
 place and state, with all the believers and saints 
 that have ever gone before me ! 
 
 II. But I must depart before I can thus "be 
 with Christ." I must, particularly, depart 
 from this body, from all its former delights, 
 and also from more rational pleasures belong- 
 ing to the present life and world. 
 
 1. I must depart from this body. Here these 
 eyes must see no more, this hand move no more, 
 these feet walk no more, this tongue speak no 
 more. As much as I have loved, and over- 
 loved this body, I must leave it to the grave. 
 There must it lie and rot in darkness, as a 
 neglected and loathsome thing. This is the 
 fruit of sin, and nature would not have it so. 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 63 
 
 But it is only my shell, my tabernacle, my 
 clothing, and not my soul itself. It is only a 
 dissolution — earth to earth. It is but an in- 
 strument laid by, when all its work is done — a 
 servant dismissed, when his service is ended ; 
 as I cast by my lute when I have better em- 
 ployment. It is but as flowers die in autumn, 
 and plants in winter. It is but a separation 
 from a troublesome companion, and putting off 
 a shoe that pinched me. Many a sad and pain- 
 ful hour, many a weary night and day, have I 
 had. What cares and fears, what griefs and 
 groans, has this body cost me ! Alas, how much 
 of my precious time has been spent to main- 
 tain, please, or repair it! Often have I thought 
 that it cost me so dear to live, yea, to live a 
 painful, weary life, that were it not for the 
 higher ends of life, I had little reason to be 
 much in love with it, or be loath to leave it. 
 To depart from such a body, is but to remove 
 from a sordid habitation. I know it is the 
 curious, wonderful work of Grod, and not to be 
 despised or unjustly dishonored, but admired 
 and well used; yet our reason w T onders that so 
 noble a spirit should be so meanly housed, foi 
 
64 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 we must call it "our vile body." To depart 
 from such a body, is but to be "loosed from 
 the bondage of corruption," from the clog and 
 prison of the soul. That body, which was a 
 fit servant to the soul of innocent man, is now 
 become as a prison. And further, to depart 
 from such a body, is but to be separated from 
 an accidental enemy, and one of our greatest 
 and most hurtful enemies; not, indeed, as the 
 work of our Creator, but as the effect of sin. 
 What could Satan, or any other enemy of our 
 souls, have done against us without our flesh ? 
 "What is it but the interest of this body that 
 stands in competition with the interest of God 
 and our souls ? What else do the profane sell 
 their heavenly inheritance for, as Esau his 
 birthright ? What else is the bait of ambition, 
 covetousness, and sensuality ? What takes up 
 the thoughts and cares which we should lay 
 out upon things spiritual and heavenly, but 
 this body and its life? What steals away men's 
 hearts from the heavenly pleasures of faith, 
 hope, and love, but the pleasures of this flesh ? 
 This draws us to sin, and hinders us from and 
 in our duty. Were it not for bodily interests 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 65 
 
 and temptations, how much more innocent and 
 holy might I live. I should have nothing to 
 care for, hut to please God and be pleased in 
 him, were it not for the care of this bodily 
 life. What employment should my will and 
 love have but to delight in God, and love him 
 and his interest, were it not for the love of 
 the body and its concerns ? By this the mind 
 is darkened, the thoughts diverted, our wills 
 corrupted, our heart and time alienated from 
 God, our guilt increased, our heavenly desires 
 and hopes destroyed; life is made unholy and 
 uncomfortable, and death terrible. God and 
 souls are separated, and eternal life is neg- 
 lected and in danger of being utterly lost. I 
 know that in all this the sinful soul is the 
 chief cause and agent ; but is not bodily inter- , 
 est its temptation, bait, and end ? Is not the 
 body, and its life and pleasure, the chief allur- 
 ing cause of all this sin and misery ? And shall 
 I take such a body to be better than heaven, 
 or refuse to be loosed from so troublesome a 
 yoke-fellow, and separated from so burdensome 
 and dangerous a companion ? 
 
 2. I must depart from all the former pleas- 
 
 D. Thou-hts 5 
 
66 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ures of tins body. I must taste no more sweet- 
 ness in meat or drink, in rest or action, or any 
 such thing as now delights me. Houses and 
 lands, goods and wealth must all be left; and 
 the place where I live must know me no more. 
 All I labored for, or took delight in, must be no 
 more to me than if they had never been. But 
 consider, my soul, thy former pleasures are 
 already past. Thou losest none of them by 
 death, for they are all lost before, unless immor- 
 tal grace has made them immortal by sanctify- 
 ing them. All that death does to them is to 
 prevent the repetition of them upon earth. Is 
 not the pleasure which we lose by death com- 
 mon to every brute ? Meat is as sweet to them, 
 and ease as welcome, and appetite as vehement. 
 "Why then should it seem hard to us to lose that, 
 when God pleases, which we deprive the brutes 
 of at our pleasure? If we are believers, we 
 only exchange these delights of life for the 
 greater delights of a life with Christ, a comfort 
 which our fellow-creatures the brutes have not. 
 Are not the pleasures of life usually imbittered 
 with such pain that they seldom countervail 
 the attending vanity and vexation ? It is true, 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 67 
 
 nature desires life under sufferings that are tol- 
 erable, rather than die ; but that is not so much 
 from the sensible pleasure of life, as from mere 
 natural inclination to life which Grod has im- 
 planted in us. Do we not willingly interrupt 
 these pleasures every night when we betake 
 ourselves to sleep? To say that rest is my 
 pleasure, is but to say that my daily labors and 
 cares are so much greater than my waking 
 pleasures, that I am glad to lay by both togeth- 
 er. If we can thus be content every night to 
 die, as it were, to all our waking pleasures, why 
 should we be unwilling to die to them all at 
 once? If they be forbidden pleasures which 
 you are unwilling to leave, those must be left 
 before you die, otherwise you had better never 
 have been born. Every wise and godly man 
 casts them off with detestation. Indeed, the 
 same cause which makes men unwilling to live 
 a holy life, has a great hand in making them 
 unwilling to die — even because they are loath 
 to leave the pleasures of sin. If the wicked be 
 converted, he must be gluttonous and drunken 
 no more ; he must live in pride, vanity, worldly- 
 mindedness, and sensual pleasures no more ; and 
 
68 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 therefore he draws hack from a holy life as it 
 were from death itself. But what is this to 
 those who "have mortified the flesh with the 
 affections and lusts ?" Consider also that these 
 forbidden pleasures are the great impediments 
 both of our holiness and of our truest pleasures. 
 One of the reasons why God forbids them, is 
 because they hinder us from better ; and if, for 
 our own good, we must forsake them when we 
 turn to God, we should therefore be the more 
 willing to die, in order to be free from the dan- 
 ger of them, and especially since death will 
 transmit us to infinitely greater pleasures. 
 
 3. I must also depart from the more rational 
 pleasures which I have enjoyed in this body; 
 as, for instance, from my present studies, which 
 are delights far above those of sensual sinners. 
 But let me consider : how small is our know- 
 ledge, compared with our ignorance ; how lit- 
 tle does the knowledge of the learned differ 
 from the thoughts of a child. As trifles are the 
 matter of childish knowledge, so artificial words 
 and forms make up more of the learning of the 
 world than is commonly understood. God and 
 the life to come are little better known by the 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. G9 
 
 learned, and often much less, than by many of 
 the unlearned. Of how little use is it to know 
 what is contained in many hundred volumes 
 that fill our libraries, and have given their au- 
 thors the name of virtuosi — not for their having 
 the virtue to live to Grod, or overcome tempta- 
 tions from the flesh and the world, and secure 
 their everlasting hopes. Much of our reading 
 and learning, alas, does us more harm than 
 good. Many a precious hour is lost in them 
 that should be employed in higher pursuits. 
 To many, I fear, it is as unholy a pleasure as 
 others take in thinking of lands and honors — 
 only the more dangerous for being the less sus- 
 pected. I know the knowledge of natural 
 things is valuable, and may be sanctified, and 
 made some way useful to my highest ends, and 
 I would be at any expense to procure more. 
 But I must earnestly pray, " May the Lord for- 
 give me the hours that I have spent in reading 
 things less profitable, for the sake of pleasing a 
 mind that would fain know every thing, instead 
 of spending them for the increase of holiness in 
 myself and others." Yet I must thankfully 
 acknowledge to God, that "from my youth he 
 
70 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 taught me to begin with things of the greatest 
 weight, and to refer most of my other studies 
 thereto, and to spend my days under the mo- 
 tives of necessity and profit to myself, and those 
 that were committed to me." I would have 
 men most relish that learning in their health 
 which they will find sweetest in sickness, and 
 when near to death. And alas, how expensive a 
 vanity is this knowledge. Though it little dif- 
 fers from a pleasant dream, yet to attain a lit- 
 tle excellence in it, how many laborious days 
 and weeks must it cost us. " Much study is a 
 weariness of the flesh, and he that increaseth 
 knowledge increaseth sorrow." What painful 
 diseases and loss of bodily ease and health has 
 it occasioned me. What envy and opposition 
 has it exposed me to. And should a man be 
 loath to die for fear of leaving such troublesome, 
 costly learning and knowledge ? Let me es- 
 pecially consider that we shall certainly have a 
 nobler, sweeter, and more extensive knowledge 
 than is here attainable. Love never fails, and 
 we can love no more than we know ; u but proph- 
 ecies shall fail ; tongues shall cease ; knowledge," 
 such as we now have, * ' shall vani sh away. When 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 71 
 
 I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood 
 as a child, I thought as a child; but when I 
 became a man, I put away childish things. For 
 now we see through a glass darkly, but then 
 face to face ; now I know in part, but then shall 
 I know, even as also I am known;" for though 
 my knowledge will not be like that of the bless- 
 ed God, it will be like that of holy spirits. In 
 order for a physician to describe the disease of 
 his patient, he needs much reading and close 
 inquiry; and after all, he goes much upon con- 
 jectures, and his knowledge is mixed with many 
 uncertainties and mistakes ; but when he opens 
 his corpse his knowledge is more full and true, 
 and obtained with greater ease and speed. A 
 countryman knows the town, fields, and rivers, 
 plants, and animals where he dwells, with ease, 
 perspicuity, and certainty, when mere geograph- 
 ical knowledge is liable to many mistakes. So 
 the sight of God and heaven will deserve the 
 name of wisdom, while our present glimpse is 
 but philosophy or the love of wisdom. We 
 should not, therefore, fear death for fear of los- 
 ing our knowledge; but rather long for the 
 world of glorious light, that we may get out of 
 
72 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 this darkness into easy, joyful, and satisfying 
 knowledge. 
 
 Friendship is one of the more rational pleas- 
 ures enjoyed in this body, and from which I 
 must depart. He that believes not that there 
 are far more and better friends in heaven than 
 there are on earth, believes not, as he ought, 
 that there is a heaven. Our friends here are 
 wise, but they are also unwise. They are faith- 
 ful, but partly unfaithful. They are holy, but 
 alas, too sinful. They have the image of God, 
 but it is blotted and dishonored by their faults! 
 They do God and his church much service, but 
 they also do too much for Satan even when they 
 intend the honor of God. They promote the 
 gospel; but they also hinder it by their weak- 
 ness and ignorance, their selfishness, pride, and 
 passion, their divisions and contentions. They 
 are our helpers and comforters; but how often 
 are they also our hinderance, trouble, and grief: 
 in heaven they are perfectly wise and holy and 
 faithful, and there is nothing in them, nor done 
 by them, but what is amiable to God and man. 
 With our faithful friends we have here a mix- 
 ture of those that are useless and burdensome, 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 73 
 
 or hypocritical and malicious. But in heaven 
 there are none but the wise and holy ; no hyp- 
 ocrites, no burdensome neighbors, no treacher- 
 ous, oppressive, or persecuting enemies. Christ 
 loved his disciples, his kindred, and all man- 
 kind, and took pleasure in doing good to all, 
 and so did his apostles ; but how poor a recom- 
 pense had he or they from any but from God. 
 Christ's " brethren believed not on him." Peter 
 denied him. " All his disciples forsook him and 
 fled." And what then could be expected from 
 others? No friends have a perfect suitableness 
 to each other; and those inequalities that are 
 nearest to us are most troublesome. So vari- 
 ous and contrary are our apprehensions, inter- 
 ests, educations, our tempers, inclinations, and 
 temptations, that instead of wondering at the 
 discord and confusions of the world, we may 
 rather admire the providence of Grod which 
 maintains so much order and concord. The 
 greatest crimes that have been charged upon 
 me, have been those things which I thought to 
 be my greatest duties; and for those parts of 
 my obedience to Grod and my conscience which 
 cost me dearest, and where I pleased my flesh 
 
74 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 least ? I pleased the world least. And is this 
 tumultuous, militant world a place that I should 
 be loath to leave ? 
 
 I must depart from all the means of grace, 
 though more precious to me than all earthly 
 enjoyments. Shall I love the name of heaven 
 better than heaven itself? Is not the posses- 
 sion of glory better than the promise of it ? If 
 a light and guide through the wilderness be 
 good, surely the glorious end must be better. 
 It hath pleased God that all things on earth, 
 even the sacred Scriptures, should bear the 
 marks of our state of imperfection. Imperfect 
 persons were the penmen. Imperfect human 
 language is the conveyance. Heaven will not, 
 to perfect spirits, be made the occasion of so 
 many errors and controversies as the Scriptures 
 are to us imperfect mortals. Yea, heaven is 
 the more desirable, because there I shall better 
 understand the Scriptures than here I can ever 
 hope to do. To leave my Bible, and to go to 
 the God and heaven which the Bible reveals, 
 will be no otherwise my loss than to leave the 
 picture for the presence of my friend. As for 
 mere human writings and instructions, the 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 75 
 
 pleasure of my mind is much abated by their 
 great imperfection ; and why should I think that 
 my own are blameless? I must for ever be 
 thankful for the holy instructions and writings 
 of others, notwithstanding human frailty ; and 
 so must I be thankful that God hath made any 
 use of my own for the good of souls and the 
 edification of his church. But how many al- 
 loys are there to such comforts. If good men, 
 and good books or sermons make the world seem 
 over-lovely, it will be the mercy of Grod to abate 
 the temptation. When we are dead to the love 
 of the godly themselves, of learning, books, and 
 ordinances, so far as they serve a selfish inter- 
 est and tempt our hearts from heavenly aspira- 
 tions, then indeed "the world is crucified to us, 
 and we to it." 
 
 Of all things, a departing soul has least cause 
 to fear losing the knowledge of worldly affairs. 
 If the sun gives light and heat to the earth, why 
 should I think that blessed spirits have no ac- 
 quaintance with earthly concerns? From the 
 top of a hill I can see more than from below ; 
 and shall I know less of earth from heaven 
 than I do now ? It is unlikely that my capaci- 
 
76 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ty will be so little, or that Christ and all the 
 angels will be so strange to me as to give me 
 no notice of things so interesting to my God 
 and Redeemer, to the holy society of which I 
 am member, and to myself as a member of 
 that society. Spirits are most active and of 
 quick and powerful communication. They 
 need not send letters nor write books, nor lift 
 up a voice. And as activity, so unity is great- 
 est where there is most perfection. Their 
 knowledge, love, and joy will be one. My 
 celestial advancement, therefore, will be no 
 diminution, but an inconceivable increase of 
 my desirable knowledge of things on earth. 
 If, indeed, I shall know less of things below, it 
 will be because the knowledge of them is a part 
 of vanity and vexation, which have no place 
 in heaven. I need not be afraid to hear any 
 more of bloody wars, desolated countries, dissi- 
 pated churches, persecuted Christians, silenced 
 preachers, party conflicts, contentious divines, 
 censorious professors of religion, with the cries 
 of the poor, or the endless complaints of the 
 melancholy. 
 
 Nor need I fear what other men are pleased 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 77 
 
 to suggest, that the church will want me. Is 
 it I, or God, that must choose his servants, 
 and cut out their work? Am I doing God's 
 work, or my own? If God's, must not he say 
 what, and when, and how long? And will 
 not his will and choice be best? If I believe 
 not this, how do I take him for my God? Does 
 God, or I, know best what is yet to be done, 
 and who is fittest to do it? What am I to 
 those more excellent persons whom in all ages 
 God hath taken out -of the world? Have not 
 many servants of Christ died in their youth, 
 who were far more likely to win souls and 
 glorify God than I am, or ever have been? 
 And shall I, at seventy-six years of age, after 
 such a life of unspeakable mercies, and after 
 almost fifty-three years of comfortable help in 
 the service of my Lord, be now afraid of my 
 reward, and shrink at the sentence of death, 
 and still be desirous to stay here, under pre- 
 tence of further service ? We know not what is 
 best for the church, as God does. The church 
 and the world are not ours, but his: not our 
 desires, therefore, but his will must measure 
 out its mercies. Nothing ever lay so heavy on 
 
78 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 my heart as the sin and misery of mankind, 
 and to think how much of the world lies in 
 folly and wickedness. And for what can I so 
 heartily pray, as for the world's recovery? And 
 it is his will that I should show a holy and 
 universal love by praying, "Let thy name be 
 hallowed ; thy kingdom come ; thy will be 
 done on earth as it is in heaven." Yet, alas, 
 how unlike is earth to heaven ! "What sin and 
 ignorance, confusion and cruelties, reign and 
 prosper here! Without a wonderful change, 
 even by a general miracle, how little hope ap- 
 pears that ever these prayers should be an- 
 swered. Indeed, it makes us better to desire 
 that others may be better; and God seems to 
 permit the ignorance and confusion of this 
 world, to help us the more to value and desire 
 the world of light, love, and order. If I am 
 any way useful to the world, undeserved mercy 
 hath made me so, for which I must be thank- 
 ful; how long I shall be so, is not my business 
 to determine, but my Lord's. As God will be 
 served and pleased by a wonderful variety of 
 animals and vegetables, so he will by their 
 successive generations. If one flower fall or 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 79 
 
 die, others in future summers shall arise from 
 the same root. God will have other genera- 
 tions to succeed us ; let us thank him that we 
 have had our time. And could we without 
 selfishness love others as ourselves, and God as 
 God, it would comfort us at death to have 
 others survive us, and the world continue, and 
 God still be God, and be glorified in his works. 
 Love would say, "I shall live in my succes- 
 sors; I shall more, than live in the life of the 
 world; and most of all, in the eternal life and 
 glory of God." Nor will God try us with too 
 long a life of temptations, lest we should grow 
 too familiar where we should be strangers, and 
 be utterly strangers to our home. No wonder 
 the world was ready for a deluge, by a deluge 
 of sin, when men lived six, seven, eight, or 
 nine hundred years. Had our great sensual- 
 ists any hope of living so long, they would be 
 like incarnate devils ; there would be no dwell- 
 ing near them for the godly. Nor will God 
 tire us with too long a life of afflictions. And 
 shall we grudge at the wisdom and goodness 
 which shortens them ? Though holy duties be 
 excellent and delightful, yet the weakness of the 
 
80 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 flesh makes us liable to weariness, and abates 
 the willingness of the spirit. By our weariness 
 and complaints, our fears and groans, we seem 
 to think this life too long; and yet when we 
 should yield to the call of Grod, we draw back 
 as if we would have it to be everlasting. 
 
 " "Willingly submit, then, my soul. It is 
 not thyself, but this flesh, that must be dis- 
 solved — this troublesome, vile, and corruptible 
 flesh. Study thy duty, work while it is day, 
 and let God choose thy time; and willingly 
 stand to his disposal. When I die, the gospel 
 dies not, the church dies not, the praises of 
 Grod die not, the world 'dies not; but perhaps 
 it will grow better, and those prayers be an- 
 swered which seemed to be lost ; and perhaps 
 some of the seed I have sown will spring up 
 when I am dead. If my end was to do good 
 and glorify Grod, when good is done and Grod 
 is glorified, though I were annihilated, is not 
 my end attained?" "Lord, let thy servant 
 depart in peace," even in thy peace, "which 
 passeth all understanding," and which Christ, 
 the Prince of peace, gives, and which nothing 
 in tiie world can take away. " give me that 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 81 
 
 peace which suits a soul who is so near the 
 harbor, even the world of endless peace and 
 love. Call home this soul by the encouraging 
 voice of love, that it may joyfully hear, and 
 say, It is my Father's voice. Invite it to thee 
 by the heavenly messenger. Attract it by the 
 tokens and foretastes of love. The messengers 
 that invited me to the feast of grace, compelled 
 me to come in without constraint ; thy effect- 
 ual call made me willing. And is not glory 
 better than the grace which prepares for it? 
 Shall I not more willingly come to the celestial 
 feast ? What was thy grace for, but to make 
 me desirous of glory and the way to it? Why 
 didst thou dart down thy beams of love, but to 
 make me love thee, to call me up to the ever- 
 lasting centre ? Was not the feast of grace as 
 a sacrament of the feast of glory ? Did I not 
 take it in remembrance of my Lord till he 
 come ? Did not he that told me, ' All things are 
 ready,' tell me also, that ' He is gone to prepare 
 a place for us, and that he will have us to be 
 with him and see his glory ?' They that are 
 given him, and drawn to him, by the Father 
 on earth, do come to Christ; give now r , and 
 
 D. ThouphtiJ. f) 
 
82 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 draw my departing soul to my glorified Head. 
 As I have glorified thee on earth in the measure 
 of thy grace bestowed upon me, pardon the sins 
 by which I have offended thee, and glorify me 
 in the vision and participation of my Redeemer's 
 glory. Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly, with 
 fuller life and light and love, into this too dead 
 and dark and disaffected soul, that with joyful 
 willingness it may come unto thee. 
 
 "Willingly depart, lingering soul: it is 
 from a Sodom ; though there be righteous Lots 
 in it, they are not without their sad blemishes. 
 Hast thou so often lamented the general blind- 
 ness and wickedness of the world, and art thou 
 loath to leave it for a better ? How often would- 
 est thou have rejoiced to see but the dawning 
 of a day of universal peace and reformation! 
 And wouldest thou not see it, where it shines 
 in perfect beauty? Hast thou prayed and 
 labored so hard to have the pleasure of a light 
 at midnight, and is it not thy desire to behold 
 the sun itself? Will the things of heaven 
 please thee nowhere but on earth, where they 
 are least and weakest ? Away, away ! vindic- 
 tive flames are ready to consume this sinful 
 
WHAT IT IS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 83 
 
 world. Sinners are treasuring up wratli against 
 the day of wrath. Look not then "behind thee. 
 Away from this unhappy world ! ' Press toward 
 the mark, looking for and hastening unto the 
 coming of the day of Grod. 5 As this world has 
 used thee, so it would still do. "When thou 
 hast fared best in it, no thanks to it, but to 
 Grod. If thou hast had manifold deliverances 
 and preservations, and hast been fed with an- 
 gels' food, love not the wilderness, but thy 
 heavenly guide, protector, and deliverer. Does 
 Grod in his great mercy make pain and feeble- 
 ness the harbingers of death, and wilt thou not 
 understand their business ? "Wouldest thou 
 dwell with thy beloved body in the grave, 
 where it will rot in loathsome darkness? Tf 
 not, why should it now, in its painful languor, 
 seem to thee a more pleasing habitation than 
 the glorious presence of thy Lord ? In the 
 grave it will be at rest, nor at the night wish, 
 that it were morning, nor in the morning say, 
 "When will it be night? And is this a dwelling 
 fit for thy delight ? Patience in it, while God 
 will so try thee, is thy duty : but is such patience 
 a better and sweeter life than rest and joy?" 
 
84 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 But alas, how deaf is flesh to reason. I have 
 reason enough to be willing to depart, even 
 much more willing than I am. that I could 
 be as willing as reason convinces me I ought to 
 be. Could I love God as much as I know I 
 ought to love him, then I should desire to de- 
 part and to be with Christ as much as I know 
 I ought to desire it. But death must be a pen- 
 alty even where it is a gain; and therefore it 
 must meet w T ith some unwillingness. Because 
 we willingly sinned, we must unwillingly suffer. 
 All the faith and reason in the world will not 
 make death to be no penalty, and therefore will 
 not take away all unwillingness. No man ever 
 reasoned or believed himself into a love of pain 
 and death, as such. But since the gain is un- 
 speakably greater than the pain and loss, there- 
 fore faith and holy reason may make our will- 
 ingness greater than our unwillingness, and our 
 hope and joy than our fear and sorrow. " Come 
 then, my soul, and think believingly what is 
 best for thee,'' which will be the subject of the 
 next chapter; "and wilt thou not love and de- 
 sire that most which is certainly best ?" 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 85 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 WHY IT IS FAR BETTER TO BE WITH CHRIST. 
 
 To say or hear that it is far better to he with 
 Christ, is not enough to make us willing. If I 
 firmly believe that it is best for me, I shall then 
 desire it. And have I not reason to believe it ? 
 Let me seriously consider, for my full convic- 
 tion, by what means I am preparing for this 
 happiness ; how this happiness is the end for 
 which I am preparing ; and how it will perfect 
 my knowledge, will, and activity in doing good. 
 
 1. The means by which I am preparing to 
 be with Christ, abundantly show that it is far 
 better to be with him. As for instance, that is 
 best for me which my heavenly Father's love 
 designs and chooses for my good. I hope I 
 shall never dare to say or think that he is mis- 
 taken, or that I could have chosen better for 
 myself. Many a time hath the wise and good 
 will of G-od crossed my foolish, rebellious will, 
 and afterwards I have perceived it was best. 
 It is not an enemy nor a tyrant that made me, 
 
86 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 preserves me, or calls me hence. The more I 
 have tried him, the tetter I have found him. 
 Had I better obeyed his ruling will, how happy 
 had I been. And is not his disposing and re- 
 warding will as good ? Should I not die till my- 
 self or any of my dearest friends would have 
 it, would this rejoice me? foolish, sinful 
 soul, is it not far better to be at God's choice, 
 than my own or any man's? "Be of good 
 cheer then, my soul; it is thy Father's voice 
 that calls thee hence — his voice that called thee 
 into being, and out of a state of sin and death, 
 and bade thee live unto him — that called thee 
 so often from the grave, forgave thy sins, re- 
 newed thy strength, restored thee to the com- 
 forts of his house and service, and hath so gra- 
 ciously led thee through this howling wilderness 
 almost to the sight of the promised land. And 
 wilt thou not willingly go when such infinite 
 love calls thee ? Art thou not desirous of his 
 presence ? Art thou afraid to go to him who is 
 the only cure of thy fears ? What was it but 
 this -glory to which he elected thee — not to the 
 riches and honors of this world, or to the pleas- 
 ures of the flesh, but chose thee in Christ to an 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 87 
 
 inheritance in glory? If God chose thee to 
 blessedness, refuse it not thyself, nor behave 
 like a refuser." That is my best state which 
 my Saviour purchased, and promised as best. 
 As he bought me not with silver and gold, so 
 neither did he live and die to make me rich and 
 great in the world. "Who have more of these 
 than they that have least of Christ? Is it 
 heaven that cost so dear a price as his merits, 
 sacrifice, and intercession? Is that the end of 
 so wonderful a design of grace, and shall I now 
 be unwilling to receive the gift ? That is best 
 for me for which God's Holy Spirit is preparing 
 me. He is not persuading me from day to day 
 to love the world, but to come off from it, and 
 to set my heart upon things above. And would 
 I now undo all, or cross and frustrate all his 
 operations? Has grace been so long preparing 
 me for glory, and shall I be loath to take pos- 
 session of it? If I am not willing, I am not 
 yet sufficiently prepared. 
 
 If heaven be not better for me than earth. 
 God's word and ordinances have been all in 
 vain. Surely, that is my best which is the gift 
 of the better covenant ; which is secured to me 
 
DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 by so many sealed promises; to which I am 
 directed by so many sacred precepts, doctrines, 
 and examples ; and for which I have been called 
 to hear and read, meditate, watch, and pray. 
 Was it fleshly interest, or a longer life of world- 
 ly prosperity which the gospel covenant secured 
 to me, which the sacraments and Spirit sealed 
 to me, which the Bible was written to direct 
 me to, which ministers preached to me, which 
 my books were written for, and for which J 
 prayed and served God — or was it not for his 
 grace on earth and glory in heaven ? And is it 
 not better for me to have the end of these means, 
 than lose them and my hopes? Why have I 
 used them, if I would not attain their end? 
 That is my best state to which all (rod's father- 
 ly providences tend. All his sweeter mercies 
 and sharper corrections are to make me par- 
 taker of his holiness, and lead me to glory in 
 the way in which my Saviour and all his saints 
 have gone before me. All things work together 
 for the best to me, by preparing me for that 
 which is best indeed. Both calms and storms 
 are to bring me to this harbor ; if I take them 
 but for themselves and for this present life, I 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 89 
 
 mistake them, unthankfully vilify them, and 
 lose their end, life, and sweetness. Every 
 word and work of God, every day's mercies and 
 changes, look at heaven and intend eternity 
 God leads me no other way: if I follow him 
 not, I forsake my hope in forsaking him ; if I 
 follow him, shall I be unwilling to be at home 
 and arrive at the end of all this way? 
 
 Certainly, that is best for me which God re- 
 quires me principally to value, love, and seek. 
 If my business in the world be only for the 
 things of the world, how vain a creature is man, 
 and how little is the difference between waking 
 and sleeping, life and death. And is it my duty 
 to seek heaven with all the fervor of my soul 
 and diligence of my life, and is it not best to 
 find it? That must needs be best for me, for 
 the sake of which all other things must be for- 
 sook. It is folly "to forsake the better for the 
 worse; but Scripture, reason, and conscience 
 tell me that all this world should be forsaken 
 for the least hope of heaven, when it comes in 
 competition. A possible everlasting glory should 
 be preferred before a certainly perishing vanity. 
 I am sure this life will shortly be nothing to 
 
90 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 me, and therefore it is nothing now. And must 
 I forsake all for my everlasting hopes, and yet be 
 unwilling to enter on the full possession ? That 
 is like to be our best which is our most mature 
 state, Nature is ever tending towards perfec- 
 tion. Every fruit is best when it is ripe. And 
 does God cause saints to grow to greater ripe- 
 ness only to be useless? It is not credible. 
 "Our souls return to God that gave them;" 
 and though he needs them not, he puts them to 
 such heavenly uses as their maturity fits them 
 for. Since love has ripened me for itself, shall 
 I not willingly drop into its hand ? That is like 
 to be best which has been most esteemed and 
 desired by the wisest and holiest in all ages, and 
 which all men at death allow to be best. No 
 men are usually worse than those who have no 
 belief or hope of a life to come. And none are 
 so holy, just, and sober, so charitable to others 
 and so useful to mankind, as those who firmly 
 believe and hope for a state of immortality. 
 And shall I fear such a state? And is not that 
 my best state which most displeases my great- 
 est enemies ? I need not say how much Satan 
 does to keep me and other men from heaven; 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 91. 
 
 and in order to that, how he tempts us with 
 worldly honor, pleasure, and wealth. Satan 
 would not have me get to heaven, and shall I 
 also be unwilling ? All these things tell me that 
 it is best to be with Christ. 
 
 2. As the end of all my preparation , it must 
 be far better for me to be with Christ. Is not 
 dwelling with God in glory far better than in 
 this sinful world? He that is our beginning is 
 our end. For our end all means are used ; and 
 the end attained is the rest of souls. How often 
 has my soul groaned under a sense of distance, 
 darkness, and alienation from God. How often 
 has it looked up and panted after him, and said, 
 "As the hart panteth after the water-brooks, so 
 panteth my soul after thee, God. My soul 
 thirsteth for God, for the living God; when 
 shall I come and appear before God? "Whom 
 have I in heaven but thee? and there is none 
 upon earth that I desire besides thee. It is good 
 for me to draw near to God.'' "Woe to me if I 
 dissembled ; if not, why should my soul draw 
 back? Is it because death stands in the way? 
 And is not my passage secured by the love of 
 my Father, and the resurrection and interces- 
 
92 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 sion of my Lord? Can I see the light of heav- 
 enly glory in this darksome shell and womb of 
 flesh? All creatures are more or less excellent 
 and glorious, as (rod communicates most of 
 himself to them. They are said to be nearest 
 to him that have the noblest natures. There- 
 fore to be as near as my nature was intended 
 to approach, is but to attain the end and per- 
 fection of my nature. As I am now under^the 
 government of his officers on earth, so I expect 
 to be in heaven. If the law was given by an- 
 gels, and the angel of Grod was in the burning 
 bush, and the angel conducted the people 
 through the wilderness, and yet all these things 
 are ascribed to God, much more near and glo- 
 rious will the divine government be in heaven. 
 Here I am made, ruled, and sanctified for the 
 good of many, as above my own. I am sure 
 I must be finally for my glorified Redeemer, 
 and that he who is the first will be the ultimate 
 cause. In this respect, I shall be as near to him 
 as comports with the rank and order of my na- 
 ture. It is the honor of a servant to have an 
 honorable master, and to be appointed to the 
 most honorable work. My advancement will 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 95 
 
 be ultimately for God, and in such services as 
 are suitable to my spiritual and heavenly state. 
 Activity will be my perfection and my rest. 
 Though now I know not fully what service I 
 must do, I know it will be good, and suitable 
 to the blessed state I shall be in. It is not all 
 the use and work of my soul now to care for 
 my body, nor will it be hereafter. Though I 
 shall not always have a body, I shall always 
 have a God and a Saviour and a w r orld of fel- 
 low-creatures ; and when I shine not in the lan- 
 tern, nor see as in a glass, I shall yet see face 
 to face. To fulfil God's will here, would be the 
 fulfilling of my own. I am sure my soul shall 
 live, and that it shall live to God, and that I 
 shall fulfil his blessed will ; and so far as I am 
 pleased in doing it, it will be my felicity. The 
 soul's regular love to the body illustrates the 
 love of Christ to his church, and to every mem- 
 ber. Herein my Saviour excels me in power- 
 ful, faithful love. He will save me better from 
 pain and death than I can save my body, and 
 will more inseparably hold me to himself. If 
 •it pleases my soul to dwell in such a house -of 
 clay, how much more will it please my glori- 
 
94 DYING THOUGHTS 
 
 fied Lord to dwell with his glorified body, the 
 church triumphant, and to bless each member 
 of it. It would be a kind of death to Christ to 
 be separated from his body. And will he take 
 incomparably greater pleasure in me for ever 
 than my soul does in my body ? then let me 
 long to be with him. Though I am naturally 
 loath to be absent from the body, let me not be 
 willingly absent from the Lord. And though 
 I would not be unclothed had not sin made it 
 necessary, let me " groan to be clothed upon 
 with my heavenly habitation," to become the 
 delight of my Redeemer, and to be perfectly 
 loved by love itself. The love and delight of 
 my glorified Head must be my felicity. I shall 
 be loved as a living spirit, and not as a thing 
 dead and insensible. If I must rejoice here 
 with them that rejoice, shall I not rejoice to 
 have my Lord rejoice in me and in all his glo- 
 rified ones ? Union will make his pleasure to 
 be much my own. It will fitly be said by him, 
 " Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord." The 
 heavenly society also will joyfully welcome a 
 holy soul. If now u there is joy in the presence 
 of the angels of God over one sinner that re- 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 95 
 
 penteth," what will there be over a perfect glo- 
 rified soul ? If our " angels " there " behold our 
 Father's face," how glad will they be of our 
 company. And will not love and union make 
 their joy my own? Surely that will be my 
 best condition w r hich angels and blessed spir- 
 its will be best pleased with; and in that in 
 which they most rejoice, I shall most rejoice 
 myself. 
 
 3. It is far better for me to be with Christ, 
 as thereby my knowledge will he perfected. 
 A soul that is with Christ is more likely to 
 know Christ and the Father in him, than a 
 soul that is present with the body and absent 
 from the Lord. What less can promise of being 
 with him signify? How much more excellent 
 will intuitive or immediate knowledge be, than 
 our present artificial knowledge. There will 
 be no expensive labor in getting it. It will 
 have no mixture of dark and bewildering un- 
 certainty and ambiguity when it is acquired. 
 It will be perfectly free from those contentions 
 which so much rob the ingenious of their time, 
 destroy their love, hinder their minds from 
 ascending to God and heavenly things, and fill 
 
96 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 the church with sects and parties. Nor will it 
 leave any of that dissatisfaction so common 
 among the learned, while they have only the 
 shadow of knowledge, licking but the outside 
 of the glass, and leaving the wine within un- 
 tasted. What an excellence will there he in 
 each of the objects of this immediate know- 
 ledge. As, for instance, I shall know Grod 
 better. If an angel from heaven came down 
 on earth to tell us all of God that we would 
 know, who would not turn his back on libraries 
 and universities, to go and discourse with such 
 a messenger ? For one hour's talk with him, 
 what travel should I think too far, what cost 
 too great ? But here we must only have such 
 intimations as will exercise faith, excite desire, 
 and try us under the temptations of the world 
 and the flesh. The light of glory is to reward 
 the victory obtained by the conduct of the light 
 of grace. Grod in great mercy even here be- 
 gins the reward. They that " follow on to know 
 the Lord" usually find such increase of light, 
 not consisting in vain notions, but in the quick- 
 ening and comforting knowledge of God, as 
 greatly encourages them, and draws them still 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST 13 BEST. 97 
 
 on to seek more. If the pleasure the mind 
 has in common knowledge makes men spend 
 successive years in traversing sea and land, or 
 in turning over multitudes of tedious volumes, 
 who then upon earth can possibly conceive how 
 great a pleasure it will be for a glorified soul 
 to see the Lord ? All the pleasure I shall have 
 in heaven in knowing any of the works of God, 
 will be in my beholding God himself, his being, 
 wisdom, love, and goodness, in those works ; 
 for he is the life and glory of them all. " Bless- 
 ed are the pure in heart; for they shall see 
 God." And doubtless it will be no small part 
 of my delight to know the universe better. It 
 is exceedingly pleasant to know the least par- 
 ticle of the works of God. Yfith what dili- 
 gence and delight have men endeavored to 
 anatomize a body, yea, a small part of a car- 
 cass, for to know and describe worms and in- 
 sects, plants and minerals ! But no man ever 
 yet perfectly knew the nature and uses of the 
 least of them. If, indeed, we clearly saw the 
 nature and connection of every creature in sea 
 or land, what a delightful spectacle w r ould this 
 spot of the creation be ! How much more to 
 
 D. Thoughts. 7 
 
98 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 see the whole creation ! And I shall have as 
 much of this as I shall be capable of; the 
 wonders of (rod's works shall raise my soul in 
 admiring, joyful praise for ever. "We have de- 
 sires after such knowledge in our present dark 
 and infant state; for "the works of the Lord 
 are great, sought out of all them that have 
 pleasure therein." As these desires are of God, 
 as he hath made his works to be known for his 
 glory, and as it is little that is known of them 
 by mortals, therefore they are known by them 
 in heaven, who are fitted to improve that know- 
 ledge to his praise. If Christ the wisdom of 
 God will teach me the true philosophy how to 
 love God and please him in all things here, I 
 shall quickly in heaven be a perfect philosopher. 
 Satan tempted Christ by "showing him all the 
 kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them," 
 promising to "give him all, if he would worship 
 him;" but God will show me more than Satan 
 could show, and give me more of that which is 
 best, than Satan could give. 
 
 Nor will it be the least of my felicity in 
 heaven that I shall better know Jesus Christ, 
 and all the mystery of our redemption by him. 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 99 
 
 beatilyiiig knowledge, to know Him, "in 
 whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and 
 knowledge!"; to know the mystery of his 
 eternal Godhead, of his created nature, and of 
 the union of both, and to see (rod's wonderful 
 design and gracious work, in him, laid open to 
 our clearest view! Then all the dark texts 
 concerning his person, offices, and works will 
 be fully understood. All those strange and 
 difficult things which were the great exercise 
 and honor of faith, will then be plain. Diffi- 
 culties will no more be Satan's advantage, to 
 tempt us to unbelief or doubting. The sight 
 of the glory of my Lord will be my glory. If 
 now, "though we see not Christ, yet believing, 
 we love him, and rejoice in him with joy un- 
 speakable and full of glory," what love and joy 
 will the everlasting sight of our blessed Head 
 excite there in the souls of all the glorified ! I 
 shall better — how much better ! — "know the 
 heavenly Jerusalem, the triumphant church, 
 the blessed angels and glorified saints." What 
 a sight, what a joyful sight will death show 
 me, by drawing aside the veil; or rather the 
 Lord of life, by turning death to my advan 
 
100 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 tage. As I now know the several rooms in my 
 house, so shall I then know the " many man- 
 sions" which Christ says "are in his Father's 
 house." If Nehemiah and the pious Jews re- 
 joiced so much at seeing the walls of Jerusa- 
 lem repaired, and others at the rebuilding of the 
 temple, what a joyful sight shall I have of 
 the heavenly Jerusalem ! I know that angels 
 now love us, minister unto us, rejoice in our 
 good, and are themselves far more holy and 
 excellent creatures than we are ; it is therefore 
 my comfort to think that I shall better know 
 them, and live in near and perpetual acquaint- 
 ance and communion with them, and bear my 
 part in the same choir in which they preside. 
 And when I think how sweet one wise and 
 holy companion has been to me here on earth, 
 and how lovely his graces have appeared, 
 what a sight will it be, when we shall see the 
 millions of "the spirits of just men made per- 
 fect," shining with Christ in perfect wisdom 
 and holiness ! If this world was full of wise, 
 just, and holy persons, how lovely would it be ! 
 If one kingdom consisted of such, it would 
 make us loath to die and leave such a country, 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 101 
 
 were it not that the more the beauty of good- 
 ness appears, the more the perfection of it is 
 desired. It is pleasant to me to pray in hope 
 that earth may be made more like heaven, 
 which is now become so like hell ; but when I 
 shall see the society perfected in number, holi- 
 ness, and glory, employed in the high and joy- 
 ful praises of Jehovah — the glory of Grod and 
 the Lamb shining on them, and Grod rejoicing 
 over them as his delight, and myself partaking 
 of the same — that will be the truly blessed day. 
 And why does my soul, imprisoned in flesh, no 
 more desire it? I shall better understand all 
 the word of God. Though I shall not have the 
 use for it I now have in this life of faith, yet I 
 shall see more of Grod's wisdom and goodness, 
 love, mercy, and justice, appearing in it, than 
 ever man on earth could do. As the creatures, 
 so the Scriptures are perfectly known only by 
 perfect spirits. I shall then know how to solve 
 all doubts, reconcile all seeming contradictions, 
 and expound the hardest prophecies. That light 
 will show me the admirable method of those 
 sacred words where dark minds now suspect 
 confusion. How joyfully shall I then praise 
 
102 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 my God and Saviour for giving his church so 
 clear a light to guide them through this dark- 
 some wilderness, and so sure a promise to sup- 
 port them till they are come to life eternal! 
 How joyfully shall I bless Him, who, by that 
 immortal seed, regenerated me to the hope of 
 glory, and ruled me by so holy and just a law! 
 In that world of light I shall better under- 
 stand God's works of providence. The wis- 
 dom and good of them is little understood in 
 small parcels. It is the union and harmony of 
 all the parts which displays the beauty of them. 
 And no one can see the whole together but God, 
 and they that see it in the light of his celestial 
 glory. Then I shall clearly know why God 
 prospered the wicked, and so much afflicted 
 the righteous ; why he set up the ungodly, and 
 put the humble under their feet; why he per- 
 mitted so much ignorance, pride, lust, oppres- 
 sion, persecution, falsehood, and other sins in 
 the world; why the faithful are so few; and 
 why so many kingdoms of the world are left in 
 heathenism, Mohammedanism, and infidelity. 
 I shall know why I suffered what I did, and 
 how many great deliverances I had, and how 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 103 
 
 they were accomplished. All our misinter- 
 pretations of (rod's works and permissions will 
 then be rectified, and all our controversies 
 about them be at an end. Among all these 
 works I shall especially know more of the na- 
 ture and excellence of God's mercies. The 
 lively sense of love and mercy makes lively 
 Christians abound in love to Grod, and in mer- 
 cy to others ; but the enemy of Grod and man 
 labors to obscure and diminish our views of 
 divine love and mercy. Ingratitude is great 
 misery as gratitude is true pleasure. We now 
 receive thousands of mercies wdiich we under- 
 value. But when I come to the state and 
 work of perfect gratitude, I shall perfectly 
 know all the mercies ever received by myself, 
 by my neighbors and friends, by the church, 
 and the world. Mercies remembered must be 
 the matter of our everlasting thanks, and we 
 cannot be perfectly thankful for them without 
 a perfect knowledge of them. The worth of 
 Christ and all his grace of the gospel, and of 
 all divine ordinances and church privileges, of 
 our books and our friends, our health, and all 
 the conveniences of our lives, will be better 
 
104 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 understood in heaven than the most holy and 
 thankful Christian ever understood them here. 
 Then shall I he much better acquainted with 
 myself. I shall know the nature of souls and 
 the way of their operations, and how the Spirit 
 of Grod works upon them, and how that Spirit 
 is sent. from Christ to work upon them. I 
 shall know what measure of grace I myself 
 had, and how far I was mistaken concerning 
 it. I shall know more of the number and great- 
 ness of my sins, and of my obligation to par- 
 doning and healing grace. Yes, I shall know 
 more of my body as the habitation of my soul, 
 and how far it helped or hindered me, and 
 what were all its diseases, and how wonder- 
 fully Grod supported, preserved, and often de- 
 livered me. I shall also far better know my 
 fellow-creatures. The good and bad, the sin- 
 cere and hypocrites, will there be discerned. 
 Actions that were here thought honorable, will 
 then be found to be odious and unjust; and 
 wickedness will no more be flattered or exten- 
 uated. Many a good and holy work which was 
 reproached as criminal, will there be justified, 
 honored, and rewarded. Once more, I shall 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 105 
 
 better know from what enemies, sins, and dan- 
 gers I was here delivered ; what stratagems of 
 Satan and his instruments Grod defeated ; how 
 many snares I escaped; and how great is my 
 deliverance by Christ from the wrath to come. 
 All this knowledge will thus be advanced to 
 my glorified soul, beyond my present concep- 
 tions; and is it not therefore far better to be 
 with Christ ? 
 
 4. It is far better for me to be with Christ, 
 for the sake of having my will perfected. The 
 will is to the soul what the heart is to the body. 
 My greatest evil is there, and there will be my 
 greatest good. Satan did most against it, and 
 God will do most for it. When I am w r ith 
 Christ my will no more will be tied, to a body, 
 which is now the grand snare and enemy of 
 my soul, by drawing my love and care, my 
 fears and sorrows, to itself, and turning them 
 from my highest interest. There my will shall 
 not be tempted by a world of inferior good ; nor 
 shall meat and sleep, possessions and friends, 
 be my snares and dangers ; nor shall the mer- 
 cies of Grod be the tempter's instruments; nor 
 shall I have the flatteries or frowns of tyrants ; 
 
106 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 nor will bad company infect or divert me, nor 
 the errors of good men seduce me, nor the rep- 
 utation of the wise and learned draw me to 
 imitate them in any sin. There will be none 
 of Satan's solicitations to pervert my will. 
 
 My will shall there be better than here, as it 
 shall have nothing in it displeasing to God — 
 no sinful inclination, no striving against God's 
 Spirit, no grudging at any word or work of 
 God, nor any principle of enmity or rebellion 
 l6ft. There it shall have no inclination to 
 injure my neighbor, or to do any thing against 
 the common good ; and there it shall have noth- 
 ing in it opposite to itself: no more " law of my 
 members warring against the law of my mind ;" 
 no more contrariety between sense and reason ; 
 but all will be unity and peace within. 
 
 There Christ will have perfectly sanctified my 
 will, and made it conformable to his own, and 
 to his Father's will. This is at least his mean- 
 ing when he prays, "that all his disciples may 
 be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in 
 thee, that they also may be one in us — that 
 they may be one, even as we are one." I shall 
 love and will the same that God loves and 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 107 
 
 wills. And how can the will of man have great- 
 er honor? Assimilation to an earthly king 
 is honorable, but much more to angels; but 
 most of all to be like God. Indeed, here the 
 divine image in us is, in its degrees, a con- 
 formity to the will of God. But alas, how 
 many thousand wishes and desires have we 
 had which are against the will of God ! We 
 shall have the full impression of God's will in 
 heaven, as face answers to face in a glass, or 
 the wax to the seal, or the finger of the clock 
 to the motion within, or as the echo to the 
 voice. I shall desire and never be disappointed. 
 I shall have as much love and joy as I wish. 
 Before I desire any thing, I shall know whether 
 it be God's will or not, and therefore shall never 
 wish any thing that shall not be accomplished. 
 Yea, my will shall be my enjoyment; for it 
 shall not be the desire of what I want, but a 
 complacency in what I possess. I shall want 
 nothing. I shall thirst no more. Rightly is 
 the will itself called love. My will shall be 
 full of perfect joy, when enjoying love and 
 pleasure will be my will. Thus shall I have 
 within myself a spring of living waters. My 
 
108 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 will shall be confirmed and fixed in this con- 
 formity to the will of God. Now, both under- 
 standing- and will are so lamentably mutable, 
 that, further than God promises to uphold us, 
 we know not one day what we shall think, 
 judge, or will the next. But when love be- 
 comes our fixed nature, we shall be no more 
 weary of loving than the sun of shining. God 
 himself will be the full and everlasting object 
 of my love. Perfect joyful complacency in God 
 is the heaven which I desire and hope for. In 
 God there is all that love can desire for its full 
 everlasting feast. The nature of man's will is 
 to love good as good. God, who is infinitely 
 good in himself, will be that most suitable good 
 to me. He has all in himself that I need or 
 can desire. There is nothing for love to cleave 
 to, either above him, beyond him, or without 
 him. He is willing to be beloved by me. He 
 disdains not my love. He might have refused 
 such affections as have so often embraced van- 
 ity and filth. But he commands my love, and 
 makes it my greatest duty. He invites and 
 entreats me, as if he were a gainer by my hap- 
 piness. He seeks to me to seek to him, and 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 109 
 
 is both the first and most earnest suitor. He 
 that so valued my cold imperfect love to him 
 on earth, will not reject my perfect love in 
 heaven. And he is near to me, not a dis- 
 tant God out of my reach, nor unsuitable to 
 my love. Blind unbelievers may dream that 
 he is far off; but even now he is as nigh to us 
 as we are to ourselves. "When he would sanc- 
 tify us to love him, he brings us nigh to him- 
 self in Christ. Here we see him in his works 
 and word ; and there we shall see him in all 
 the perfect glory of his works, and shall de- 
 lightfully love that glorious perfection of the 
 universe, even the image of God in all the 
 world. I shall especially love the holy society, 
 the triumphant universal church, consisting of 
 Christ, angels, and saints. God himself loves 
 them more than his inferior works, and my love, 
 according to its measure, will imitate his. 
 
 " Think here, my soul, how sweet thy con- 
 dition will be, to love the. Lord Jesus, thy glo- 
 rified head, with perfect love ; when the glory 
 of God, which shines in him, will feast thy love 
 with full and everlasting pleasure ! The highest 
 created perfection of power, wisdom, and good- 
 
110 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ness, refulgent in him, will not permit thy love 
 to cease or abate its fervor. When thou shalt 
 see in the glorified church the precious fruits 
 of Christ's redeeming grace and love ; and when 
 thou shalt see thyself possessed of perfect hap- 
 piness by his love to thee, and shalt remember 
 what he did for thee, and in thee, here on earth : 
 how he ' called thee with a holy calling;' how 
 he * washed thee in his blood from all thy sins ;' 
 how he kindled in thee desires after glory ; how 
 he renewed thy nature; how he instructed, 
 guided, and preserved thee from sins, enemies, 
 and sufferings — all this will constrain thee ever- 
 lastingly to love him. Think also, my soul, 
 how delightful it will be to love those angels 
 who most fervently love the Lord. They will 
 be lovely to thee, as they have loved thee, and 
 more as they have been lovers of the church 
 and of mankind ; but far more as they are so 
 many refulgent stars which continually move 
 and shine and burn in perfect love to their Cre- 
 ator. blessed difference between that amia- 
 ble society and this dark, distracted, wicked 
 world. There I shall see or hear no evil; no 
 mixture of folly or pollution ; no false doctrine ; 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. HI 
 
 no bad example; no favoring wickedness; no 
 accusing goodness, nor hurtful violence; but 
 holy, powerful, active love will be all, and do all, 
 as their very nature, life, and work. And is 
 not a day with them better than a thousand 
 here ? And with holy angels I shall also love 
 holy souls that are made like them, and joined 
 with them in the same society. All their in- 
 firmities are there put off, and they also are 
 spirits made up of holy life and light and love. 
 When I think with what fervent love -to God, 
 to Jesus Christ, and to one another they will 
 be perfectly united there, grieve and blush, 
 my soul, that they should be here so disaffected 
 and divided. The imperfect image of God upon 
 them is amiable, but through their remaining 
 pride, error, and uncharitableness, it is hard to 
 live with some of them in peace. how de- 
 lightful will that communion of saints be where 
 perfect love shall make them one. Forget not, 
 my soul, how sweet God has made the course 
 of my pilgrimage by the fragrance and usaful- 
 ness of his servants' graces. How sweet have 
 my bosom-friends been ; how sweet the neigh- 
 borhood of the godly; how sweet their holy 
 
112 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 assemblies, their writings, conference, and pray- 
 ers. "What then will it be to live in perfect 
 love with perfect saints in heaven for ever, and 
 with them perfectly to love the God of love?" 
 As the act and object of love will constitute 
 my future felicity, I shall not be the fountain 
 of my own delights, but my receiving from the 
 love of God and his creatures shall be sweeter 
 to me than my own activity. All love is com- 
 municative, but none compared with God's. 
 "Whatever good is done in the world, it is done 
 by love. Therefore parents care and provide 
 for children. Therefore my house and table 
 are not neglected, nor my books and learning 
 forgot, nor my friends despised, nor my life itself 
 thrown away. If a man love not his country, 
 posterity, and the common good, he will be as 
 a drone in the hive. And if created love be so 
 necessary, so active, and communicative, much 
 more will be the infinite love of the Creator. 
 His love is now the life of nature in the living, 
 the life of holiness in the saints, and the life of 
 glory in them that are glorified. In this love, 
 I and all the saints shall dwell for evermore. 
 And if I dwell in love, and love in me, surely 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H3 
 
 I shall "-ever drink of the rivers of pleasure." 
 Had I a great, wise, and good friend that did 
 for me the hundredth part of what Grod does, 
 how dearly should I love him. " Think then, 
 think believingly, seriously, constantly, my 
 soul, what a life thou shalt live for ever in the 
 presence and bosom of infinite, eternal Love. 
 He now shineth on me by the sun, and on my 
 soul by the Sun of righteousness, but it is as 
 through the crevices of my darksome habita- 
 tion ; but then he will shine on me and in me 
 openly, and with the fullest streams and beams 
 of love." Grod is the same God in heaven as 
 on earth; but I shall not be the same man. 
 Here the windows of my soul are not open to 
 his light ; sin has raised clouds, and consequent- 
 ly storms, against my comforts. The entrances 
 to my soul by the straits of flesh and sense are 
 narrow, and they are made narrower by sin 
 than they were by nature. Alas, how often 
 would Love have spoken comfortably to me, and 
 I was not at home to be spoken with, but abroad 
 among a world of vanities ; or was Rot at leisure, 
 or was asleep, and not willing to be awaked. 
 How often would Love have come in and dwelt 
 
 P. Thought*. 8 
 
114 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 with me, and I have unkindly shut him out. 
 How often would he have freely entertained me 
 in secret, hut I had some trifling company or 
 "business that I was loath to leave. "When his 
 table has been spread for me, and Christ, grace, 
 and glory offered to me, how has my appetite 
 been gone, or dull. He would have been all to 
 me, if I would have been all for him. But in 
 heaven I shall have none of those obstructions. 
 All old unkindness and ingratitude will be for- 
 given. I shall then be wholly separated from 
 the vanity which here deceived me. I shall 
 joyfully behold the open face and attend the 
 charming voice of glorifying Love, and delight- 
 fully relish his celestial provisions. No disease 
 will corrupt my appetite. No sluggishness 
 will renew my guilty neglects. "The love of 
 the Father, the grace of the Son, and the com- 
 munion of the Holy Spirit" will triumph over 
 all my folly, deadness, and disaffection; and 
 my God-displeasing and self-undoing averseness 
 and enmity will be gone for ever. " Study this 
 heavenly work of love, my soul. These are 
 not dead or barren studies. It is only love that 
 can relish love, and understand it. Here the 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H5 
 
 will has its taste. "What can poor carnal world- 
 lings know of glorious love, who study it with- 
 out love? "What sounding brass or tinkling 
 cymbals are they that preach of God and Christ 
 and heavenly glory, without love. But gazing 
 on the face of love in Christ, tasting its gifts, 
 contemplating its glorioles reign, is the way to 
 kindle the sacred fire in thee. The burning- 
 glass must be turned directly to the sun, in 
 order to its setting any thing on fire. A holy 
 love like that in heaven must be studiously 
 fetched from heaven, and be kindled by the fore- 
 sight of what is there, and what we shall be 
 there for ever. Faith must ascend and look 
 within the veil. Thou, my soul, must not live 
 a stranger to thy home and hopes, to thy God 
 and Saviour. The fire that must warm thee is 
 in heaven, and thou must come near it and open 
 thyself to its influence, if thou wilt feel its pow- 
 erful efficacy. It is night and winter with car- 
 nal minds, when it is day and summer with 
 those that set their faces heavenward." 
 
 But in heaven God will make use of second 
 causes even in communicating his love and 
 glory. There the Lord Jesus Christ will not 
 
116 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 only be the object of our delightful love, but 
 his love to us will be as the vital heat and mo- 
 tion of the heart to all the members, the root 
 of our life and joy. Did his tears for a dead 
 Lazarus make men say, " Behold how he loved 
 him?" "What then will the reviving beams of 
 heavenly life make us say of that love which 
 fills us with the pleasures of his presence, and 
 turns our souls into joy itself? " Believe, my 
 soul, thy Saviour's love, that thou mayest have 
 a foretaste of it, and be fit for complete enjoy- 
 ment. Let thy believing be so much of thy 
 daily work, that thou mayest say 'he dwells 
 in thy heart by faith,' and ' lives in thee,' and 
 that thy 'life in the flesh' is not a fleshly life, 
 but 'by the faith of the Son of Grod^who loved 
 thee, and gave himself for thee.' Look upon 
 the sun, and think with thyself how its motion, 
 light, and heat are communicated to millions 
 of creatures all over the earth and in the seas. 
 What if all these beams of light and heat were 
 proportionable beams of perfect knowledge, love, 
 and joy? If all the creatures under the sun 
 received from it as much wisdom, love, and joy 
 as they have of light, heat, and motion, what a 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H7 
 
 blessed world would it be, even a heaven upon 
 earth. Thus will the Sun of glory send forth 
 life, light, and joyful love on all the heavenly 
 inhabitants. Therefore now begin to live upon 
 the influence of his grace, that thou mayest 
 have his name and mark." He has not bid me 
 seek his grace in vain. He more than bids me 
 seek and ask. He teaches me to pray. He 
 makes my prayers, and writes them on my 
 heart. He gives me desires, and he loves to 
 have me importunate with him, and is dis- 
 pleased with me that I will ask and have no 
 more. How then comes my soul to be yet so 
 fond of this wretched flesh and world, and so 
 backward to go home and dwell with Christ? 
 Alas, a taste of heaven on earth is too precious 
 to be cast away upon such as have long grieved 
 and quenched the Spirit, and are not, by dili- 
 gent and patient seeking, prepared to receive it. 
 My conscience remembers the follies of my 
 youth, and many a later odious sin, and tells 
 me that if heaven were quite hid from my sight, 
 and I should never have a glimpse of the face 
 of glorious eternal Love, it would be just. I 
 look upward from day to day, and better to 
 
118 DYING THOUGHTS, 
 
 know my God and my home, I cry to him 
 daily, "My God, my hopes are better than all 
 the possessions of this world, far better than all 
 the pleasures of sin. Thy gracious looks have 
 often revived me, and thy mercies have been 
 immeasurable to my soul and body. But 0, how 
 far am I short of what, even forty years ago, 
 I hoped sooner to have attained. "Where is ' the 
 peace that passeth all understanding, 5 which 
 should keep my heart and mind ' through Christ 
 Jesus V Where is the seeing, longing, and re- 
 joicing faith? Where is that pleasant famili- 
 arity with Christ in heaven, that would make 
 a thought of them sweeter than the thoughts of 
 friends, health, or all the prosperity and pleas- 
 ure of this world? Do those that i dwell in 
 God, and God in them,' and have their 'hearts 
 and conversations in heaven,' attain no more 
 clear and satisfactory perceptions of that blessed 
 state than I have yet attained? Is there* no 
 livelier sense of future joys? No sweeter fore- 
 taste, nor fuller silencing of doubts and fears? 
 Alas, how many of thy servants are less afraid 
 to go to a prison than to their God, and had 
 rather be banished to a land of strangers than 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. H9 
 
 sent to heaven. Must I that am called thy 
 child, and an heir of heaven, and a coheir with 
 Christ, have no more acquaintance with my 
 glorified Lord, and no more love to thee, who 
 art my portion, before I go hence ? Shall I have 
 no more of the heavenly life and light and love ? 
 Alas, I have scarce enough in my meditations, 
 or prayers, or sermons, to denominate them 
 heavenly. And must I go hence, so like a 
 stranger, to my home ? Wilt thou take stran- 
 gers into heaven, and know them there as thine, 
 who know thee no better here? my God, 
 vouchsafe a sinner yet more of the Spirit of thy 
 Son, who came to earth to call up earthly minds 
 to God, and to open heaven to all believers. 
 What do I beg so frequently, so earnestly for 
 the sake of my Redeemer as the Spirit of life 
 and consolation, to show me the reconciled face 
 of God, and unite all my affections to my glo- 
 rified Head, and draw up this dark, drowsy soul 
 to love, and long to be with thee?" 
 
 Alas, though those are my daily groans, how 
 kittle do I ascend. I dare not blame the God 
 of love, nor my blessed Saviour, nor the Sancti- 
 fier and Comforter of souls. Undoubtedly the 
 
120 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 cause is my sinful resistance of the Spirit, my 
 unthankful neglects of grace and glory. But 
 mercy can forgive, grace can overcome ; and 
 may I not hope for such a victory before I die ? 
 " Lord, I will lie at thy doors, and pour out my 
 complaints before thee. Thou hast told us how 
 kindly the dogs licked the sores of a Lazarus 
 that lay at a rich man's gate ; thou hast com- 
 mended the good Samaritan for taking care of 
 a wounded man ; thou sayest, ' Blessed are the 
 merciful ;' thou commandest us, ' Be merciful, 
 as your heavenly Father is merciful ;' and shall 
 I wait at thy doors in vain? Give me the 
 wedding-garment, without which I shall but 
 dishonor thy feast. Thou hast commanded me 
 to rejoice, and how fain would I in this obey 
 thee. that I had more faithfully obeyed thee 
 in ruling my senses, my thoughts, my tongue, 
 and in the diligent improvement of all my tal- 
 ents, then I might more easily have rejoiced. 
 Lord, help my love and joy. How can I rejoice 
 in death and darkness? I hoped I was long 
 since translated from the kingdom of darkness, 
 and delivered from the power of the prince of 
 darkness, and brought into that light which is 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 121 
 
 the entrance of the inheritance of saints ; and 
 yet, alas, darkness is still my misery. There 
 is light round about me in thy word and works, 
 but darkness is within me. And if my eye be 
 dark, the sun will be no sun to me. "What is 
 my unbelief but the darkness of my soul? 
 Lord Jesus, scatter all these mists. thou 
 Sun of righteousness, make thy way into this 
 benighted mind. send thy advocate to silence 
 every temptation against thy truth and thee, to 
 prosecute thy cause against thy enemies and 
 mine, and to witness my sonship and salvation. 
 I know, my Lord, heaven is not far from me, 
 no, not a day nor an hour's journey to a sepa- 
 rate soul. How quick is the communion of my 
 eyes with the distant sun. And couldest thou 
 not show me heaven in a moment ? Is not faith 
 a seeing grace? If, animated by thee, it can 
 see the invisible God in the unseen world, the 
 1 new Jerusalem, the innumerable company of 
 angels, and the spirits of just men made per- 
 fect, without thee it can do nothing, 5 and is 
 nothing. Forgive all my sins, and remove this 
 film that sin hath gathered, and my enlightened 
 soul will see thy glory. I know this veil of 
 
122 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 flesh must also be rent before I shall see thee 
 with open face, and know my fellow-citizens 
 above, as I am known. It is not heaven on 
 earth I am asking, but that I may see it from 
 mount Nebo, and have the pledge and the first- 
 fruits; and that my faith and hope may kindle 
 love and desire, and make me run my race with 
 patience, and live and die in the joy which be- 
 comes an heir of heaven. But if my faith on 
 earth must not increase, let it make me the more 
 weary of this dungeon, and more fervently wish 
 for the day when all my desires shall be satisfied, 
 and my soul be filled with thy light and love." 
 And in subordination to Christ, I shall also 
 be a receiver in heaven from angels and saints. 
 If angels are greatly useful to me here, much 
 more will they be there, where I shall be more 
 capable of receiving from them. It will be no 
 more diminution to the honor of Christ to make 
 use of my fellow-creatures to my joy there, than 
 it was here. How gloriously will God shine in 
 the glory of the blessed ; how delightful will it 
 be to see their perfection in wisdom, holiness, 
 and love. They will love incomparably better 
 than our dearest friends on earth can, who can 
 
"WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 123 
 
 only pity us in our pains, and go weeping with 
 our corpses to the grave ; but the friends above 
 will joyfully convoy or welcome our souls to 
 their triumphant society. What a glorious 
 state will it be, when all the love of angels and 
 saints in full perfection shall be so united as to 
 make one love to one God, and to each other, 
 as made one in Christ. We little know how 
 great a mercy it is here, to be commanded to 
 love our neighbors as ourselves, and much more 
 to be effectually taught of Grod to love one an- 
 other. Did we all live in such unfeigned love, 
 earth would resemble heaven, "G-o, then, go 
 willingly, my soul; love joins with light to 
 draw up thy desires. Art thou a lover of wis- 
 dom, holiness, and love, and wouldest thou not 
 be united to the wise and holy who are made 
 up of love? Art thou a hater of discords and 
 divisions on earth, and wouldest thou not be 
 where all the just are one? Is not thy body, 
 while kept together by an uniting soul, in a 
 better state than when it is to be crumbled into 
 lifeless dust ; and does not death creep on thee 
 by a gradual dissolution? Away then from 
 this incoherent state. The farther from the 
 
124 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 centre, the farther from unity. It is now thy 
 weakness and imperfection which makes thee 
 so desirous that thy house, thy land, thy clothes, 
 thy books, yea, thy knowledge and grace, should 
 be thine, and thine only. How much more 
 excellent if thou couldest say that all these, 
 like the light of the sun, are mine, and every 
 one's as well as mine. In heaven thy know- 
 ledge, thy glory, and felicity shall be thine, and 
 others' as well as thine. The knowledge, good- 
 ness, and glory of all that perfect society shall 
 be thine as far as thy capacity extends. Then 
 hasten upward, my soul, with thy most fer- 
 vent desires, and breathe after that state with 
 thy strangest hopes where thou shalt not be 
 rich and see thy neighbors poor, nor be poor 
 while they are rich ; nor be well while they are 
 sick, nor sick while they are well." Commun- 
 ion, as it constitutes the very being of the city 
 of Grod, will be part of every one's felicity, 
 and none will have the less for the participation 
 of the rest. This celestial communion of saints 
 in one holy church, above what is here attain- 
 able, is now an article of our belief; but believ 
 ing will soon end in seeing and enjoying. 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 125 
 
 5. It is also far better for me to be with 
 Christ, that I may have a perfect activity in 
 doing good. There are good works in heaven, 
 and far more and better than on earth. There 
 will be more life and power for action ; more 
 love to God and one another, to excite action ; 
 more likeness to God and Christ in doing good, 
 as well as being good ; more union with the 
 beneficent Jesus, to make us also beneficent ; 
 and more communion, by each contributing to 
 the welfare of the whole, and sharing in their 
 common returns to God. What the heavenly 
 works are, we must perfectly know when we 
 come thither. " We shall join with the whole 
 society,'' as the Scriptures particularly describe, 
 " in giving thanks and praise to God and our 
 Redeemer." All passions earnestly desire to 
 be freely exercised, especially our holy affec- 
 tions of love, joy, and admiration of Almighty 
 God. In expressing such affections, we natu- 
 rally desire communion with many. Methinks, 
 when we are singing the praises of God in 
 great assemblies with joyful and fervent spir- 
 its, I have the liveliest foretaste of heaven upon 
 earth, and could almost wish that our voices 
 
126 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 were loud enough to reach through all the 
 world, and to heaven itself. Nor could I ever 
 be offended with the sober and seasonable use 
 of instrumental music to help to tune my soul 
 in so holy a work. Nothing comforts me more 
 in my greatest sufferings, nor seems more fit 
 for me while I wait for death, than singing 
 psalms of praise to God, nor is there any exer- 
 cise in which I had rather end my life. Should 
 I not then willingly go to the heavenly choir, 
 where God is praised with perfect love and 
 joy and harmony? Had I more of a praising 
 frame of soul, I should long more for that life of 
 praise. I never find myself more willing to be 
 there than when I most joyfully speak or sing 
 the praises of God. Though the " dead praise 
 not God in the grave, nor dust celebrate him," 
 yet living souls in heaven do it joyfully, while 
 their fleshly clothing turns to dust. " Lord, 
 tune my soul to thy praises now, that sweet 
 experience may make me long to be where I 
 shall do it better. Wherever there is any ex- 
 cellent music, I see men naturally flock to it 
 and hear it with delight. Surely, had I once 
 heard the heavenly choir, I should echo to their 
 
WHY TO BE WITH CHRIST IS BEST. 127 
 
 holy songs, and think it the truest blessedness 
 to bear my part. My God, it is the inward 
 melody of thy Spirit, and my own conscience, 
 that must tune me for the heavenly melody. 
 speak thy love first to my heart, and then I 
 shall joyfully speak it to others, and shall ar- 
 dently seek after communion better than that 
 of sinful mortals. Though my sins make a sad 
 discord in my present songs, I hope my sighs 
 and tears for sin have had the honor of thine 
 acceptance, who despisest not a contrite soul. 
 But if thy Spirit will sing and speak within 
 me, and help me against the jarring murmur 
 of my unbelieving heart and pained flesh, I 
 shall then offer thee what is more suitable to 
 thy love and grace. I confess, Lord, that daily 
 tears and sighs are not unsuitable to the eyes 
 and voice of so great a sinner, now under thy 
 correcting rod. But 'he that offereth praise 
 glorifies thee;' and is not this the ' spiritual 
 sacrifice, acceptable through Christ, for which 
 we are made priests to God V I refuse not, 
 Lord, to lie in tears and groans when thou re- 
 quirest it, nor do thou reject those tears and 
 groans; but 0, give me better, that I may 
 
128 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 have better of thine own to offer thee, and so 
 prepare me for the far better which I shall find 
 with Christ." 
 
 Probably God makes glorified spirits the 
 agents of his beneficence to inferior creatures. 
 "Where he bestows on any the noblest endow- 
 ments, we see he makes most use of such for 
 the benefit of others. Christ tells us we shall 
 be like, or equal to the angels, who are evi- 
 dently the ministers of (rod for the good of his 
 people in this world. The apostle says, "the 
 saints shall judge the world" and "angels;" 
 intimating that devils and damned spirits shall 
 be subjected to the saints. But if there were 
 no more for us to do in heaven, but with per- 
 fect knowledge, love, and joy to hold commun- 
 ion with God and all the heavenly society, it 
 is enough to excite, in a considerate soul, the 
 most fervent desires to be at home with God. 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 129 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE AUTHOR BREATHES AFTER WILLINGNESS 
 TO DEPART AND TO BE WITH CHRIST. 
 
 I am convinced that it is far better to depart 
 and to be with Christ, than to be here. But 
 this conviction alone will not excite such de- 
 sires in my soul. They are opposed by a nat- 
 ural aversion to death, which sin has greatly 
 increased; by the remains of unbelief, which 
 avails itself of our darkness in the flesh and 
 our too great familiarity with this visible world ; 
 and also by the want of our more lively fore- 
 taste of heaven. What must be done to over- 
 come this opposition? Is there no remedy? 
 Yes, there is a divine teaching, by which we 
 must learn " so to number our days, that we 
 may apply our hearts unto wisdom." When 
 we have read and heard, spoken and written 
 the soundest truth and strongest arguments, 
 we still know as if we knew not, and be- 
 lieve as if we believed not, unless God pow- 
 erfully impresses the same things on our 
 minds, and awakens our souls to feel what we 
 
 D. Thought* 9 
 
130 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 know. Since we fell from Grod, the commun- 
 ion between our senses and understanding, 
 and also between our understanding and our 
 will and affections, is violated, and we are di- 
 vided in ourselves by this schism in our facul- 
 ties. All men may easily know that there is 
 an almighty, omniscient, omnipresent, eternal, 
 and perfectly holy and good Grod, the maker, 
 preserver, and governor of all, who deserves 
 our whole trust, love, and obedience ; but how 
 little of this knowledge is to be perceived in 
 men's hearts or lives. All men know that the 
 world is vanity, that man must die, that riches 
 cannot then profit, that time is precious, and 
 that we have but little time to prepare for 
 eternity ; but how little do men seem to have 
 of the real knowledge of these plain truths. 
 Indeed, when Grod comes in with his powerful 
 awakening light and love, then those things 
 appear as different as if we were beginning to 
 know them. All my best reasons for our im- 
 mortality are but as the new-formed body of 
 Adam before " Grod breathed into him the 
 breath of life;" and he only can make them 
 living reasons. To the Father of lights I must 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 131 
 
 therefore still look up, and for his light and 
 love I must still wait. I must learn both as a 
 student and a beggar. "When I have thought 
 and thought a thousand times, I must beg thy 
 blessing, Lord, upon my thoughts. The eye 
 of my understanding w r ill be useless or vexa- 
 tious to me without thy illuminating beams. 
 shine the soul of thy servant into a clearer 
 knowledge of thyself and kingdom, and love 
 him into more divine and heavenly love, and 
 he will then willingly come to thee. 
 
 Why should I, by the fears of death, strive 
 against the common course of nature, and 
 against my only hopes of happiness ? Is it not 
 " appointed unto men once to die?" "Would I 
 have God make sinful man immortal upon 
 earth? When we are sinless, we shall be im- 
 mortal. The love of life was given to teach 
 me to preserve it with care and use it well, 
 and not to torment myself with the continual 
 foresight of death. If it be the misery after 
 death that is feared, what have I to do but 
 to receive the free reconciling grace which is 
 offered me from heaven to save me from such 
 misery, and to devote myself totally to him 
 
132 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 who has promised, "Him that cometh to rue, I 
 will in no wise cast out ?" Had I studied my 
 duty, and remembered that I am not my own, 
 and that my times are in God's hands, I had 
 "been quiet from these fruitless fears. Had my 
 resignation and devotedness to (rod been more 
 absolute, my trust in him would have been 
 more easy. "But, Lord, thou knowest that I 
 would fain be thine, and wholly thine, and 
 that to thee I desire to live : therefore let me 
 wholly trust thee with my soul." 
 
 Why should I have any remaining doubt of 
 the future state of pious separate spirits ? My 
 Saviour has entered into the holiest, and has 
 assured me that " there are many mansions in 
 his Father's house," and that when we are 
 "absent from the body," we shall be "present 
 with the Lord s " "Who can think that all holy 
 souls that have gone hence from the beginning 
 of the world have been deceived in their faith 
 and hope ; and that all those whose hope was 
 only in this life have been in the right ? Shall 
 I not abhor every suggestion that contains such 
 absurdities ? Wonderful, that Satan can keep 
 up so much unbelief in the world, while he 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 133 
 
 must make men fools in order to make them 
 unbelievers and ungodly ! 
 
 That my soul has no more lively foretastes 
 of heaven, arises from those many wilful sins 
 by which I have quenched the Spirit, and from 
 the soul's imprisonment in the flesh. This, 
 this is the misery and burden of my soul. 
 Though I can say, I love Grod's truth and grace, 
 his work and servants, yet, that I have no more 
 ardent and delightful love of heaven, where his 
 loveliness will be more fully opened to my soul, 
 is my sin, calamity, and shame. If I did not 
 see that it is so with other of the servants of 
 Christ as well as myself, I should doubt whether 
 affections so disproportionate to my profession 
 did not imply an unsound faith. It is strange 
 that one who expects quickly to see the glori- 
 ous world, and enter the holy celestial society, 
 should not be more joyfully affected with such 
 hopes ; and that I should think so much of the 
 pain and perishing of the flesh, though it be the 
 common way to such an end. hateful sin, 
 that has so darkened and corrupted souls as 
 to indispose them for their only expected hap- 
 piness. What did man, when he forsook th* 
 
134 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 love and obedience of his God? How just that 
 this flesh should he our prison, which we are 
 for making our home! How mournful, that 
 there is no more grace and holiness, knowledge 
 of God and communion with him, in this world ; 
 that so few are saints, and those few T so very 
 imperfect; that while the sun shines on all 
 the earth, the Sun of righteousness shines on 
 so small a part of it ! He that made us capable 
 of holy and heavenly affections, gave us not 
 that capacity in vain. Yet, alas, how little of 
 God and glory enters into the hearts of men! 
 "When recovering light shines upon us, how 
 unthankfully do we entertain it. We cannot 
 have the conduct and comfort of it while we 
 shut our eyes and tarn away. And though 
 God give to the best not so much of it as they 
 desire, it is an unspeakable mercy, that in this 
 darksome world we may but hear of a better 
 world, and may seek it in, hope. We must 
 not grudge in our prison to be denied such a 
 presence of our king, and such pleasures of the 
 kingdom, as innocent and free subjects hewe. 
 Hope of pardon, and of a speedy deliverance, 
 are great mercies to malefactors. And if my 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 135 
 
 want of the knowledge and love of God, and 
 of joyful communion with the heavenly society, 
 be my prison, and as the suburbs of hell, should 
 it not make me long for the day of my redemp- 
 tion, and the glorious liberty of the sons of 
 God? My sincere desires of deliverance, and 
 of holiness and perfection, are my evidences 
 that I shall obtain them. As the will is the 
 sinner, so the obstinate continuance of a will 
 to sin is the cause of continued sin. So far as 
 God makes us willing to be delivered from sin, 
 so far we are delivered, and our imperfect de- 
 liverance is the way to more. If pains make 
 me groan for ease, and sickness for health, why 
 should not my remains of ignorance, unbelief, 
 and alienation from God, excite my desire 
 after the day of my salvation? As it is the 
 nature of my sin to draw down my heart from 
 God and glory; so it is the nature of my faith, 
 hope, and love, to raise my heart toward heav- 
 enly perfection ; not to desire death, but that 
 which is beyond it. And have I been so many 
 years in the school of Christ, learning both how 
 to live and die, praying for this grace and exer- 
 cising it against this sinful flesh ; and after all, 
 
136 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 shall I not find flesh more powerful to draw 
 me downward, than faith, hope, and love, to 
 carry my desires up to God? "Q God, for- 
 bid. thou that freely gavest me thy grace, 
 maintain it to the last against its enemies, and 
 make it finally victorious. It came from thee ; 
 it has been preserved by thee ; it is on thy side, 
 and wholly for thee ; without it I had lived as 
 a beast, and should die more miserably than a 
 beast ; it is thine image that thou lovest ; it is 
 a divine nature and a heavenly beam. What 
 will a soul be without it, but a dungeon of 
 darkness, and dead to holiness and heaven? 
 Without it who shall plead thy cause against 
 the devil, world, and flesh? Without thy 
 glory, earth is but earth ; and without thy 
 grace, earth would be a hell. rather deny 
 me the light of the sun than the light of thy 
 countenance. Less miserable had I been with- 
 out life or being, than without thy grace. 
 Without thine and my Saviour's help, I can 
 do nothing. I could not pray or learn without 
 thee ; I never could conquer a temptation with- 
 out thee ; and can I die, or be prepared to die, 
 without thee? I shall but say, as Thomas of 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 137 
 
 Christ, I know not whither my soul is going, 
 and how can I know the way ? My Lord hav- 
 ing loved his own which were in the world, he 
 loved them unto the end. He even commended 
 and rewarded those that had continued with 
 him in his temptations. Thou lovest fidelity and 
 perseverance in thy servants; and wilt thou 
 forsake a sinner in his extremity, who consents 
 to thy covenant, and would not forsake thee ? 
 My God, I have often sinned against thee; 
 but thou knowest I would fain be thine. I 
 can say with Paul, thou art the ' Grod whose 
 I am, and whom I serve;' and that I could 
 serve thee better. To serve thee is but to re- 
 ceive thy grace, and use it for my own and 
 others 1 good, and thereby please and glorify 
 thee. I have nothing to do in this world but 
 to seek and serve thee. I have nothing to do 
 with my tongue but to speak to thee, and for 
 thee; and with my pen, but to publish thy 
 glory and thy will. What have I to do with all 
 my reputation and influence over others, but 
 to increase thy church, and propagate thy holy 
 truth and service ? What have I to do with my 
 remaining time, even these last and languish- 
 
138 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ing hours, but to look up unto thee, and wait 
 for thy grace and thy salvation ? pardon all 
 my carnal thoughts, all my unthankful treat- 
 ment of thy grace and love, and all my wilful 
 sins against thy truth and thee. Under the ter- 
 rors of the law thou didst even proclaim thyself 
 'the Lord, the Lord Grod, merciful and gracious, 
 long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and 
 truth ; keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving 
 iniquity, transgression, and sin.' And is not 
 'the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ' revealed 
 in the gospel for our more abundant faith and 
 consolation? My Grod, I know I can never be 
 sufficiently confident of thy all-sufficient power, 
 wisdom, and goodness. When I have said, 
 ' Will the Lord cast off for ever ; and will he 
 be favorable no more? Is his mercy clean 
 gone for ever ? Doth his promise fail for ever- 
 more? Hath G-od forgotten to be gracious; 
 hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies V 
 conscience has replied, This is mine infirmity ; 
 I never wanted comfort for want of mercy in 
 thee, but for want of faith and holiness in my- 
 self. And hast thou not mercy also to give 
 me that faith and holiness? My Grod, all is 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 139 
 
 of thee, and through thee, and to thee; and 
 when I have the felicity, the glory of all for 
 ever will be thine. None that trust in thy na- 
 ture and promise shall be ashamed. If I can 
 live and die trusting in thee, surely I shall not 
 be confounded." 
 
 "Why then should it seem a difficult question 
 how my soul may willingly leave this world 
 and go to Christ in peace ? The same grace 
 which regenerated me, must bring me to my 
 desired end. " Believe and trust thy Father, 
 thy Saviour, and thy Comforter. Hope, for the 
 joyful entertainments of the promised blessed- 
 ness ; and long by. love for nearer divine union 
 and communion. Thus, my soul, mayest 
 thou depart in peace." 
 
 1. Believe and trust the promise of Grod. 
 How sure is it, and how suitable to his love, to 
 the nature of our souls, and to the operations 
 of every grace. " Why, my soul, art thou so 
 vainly solicitous to have clear, distinct concep- 
 tions of the celestial world ? "When thou art 
 possessed of a better state, thou shalt know it 
 as a possessor ought to do ; for such a know- 
 ledge as thou lookest after is part of the pos- 
 
140 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 session. Thy Saviour and his glorified saints 
 are possessors. His knowledge must now be 
 thy chief satisfaction. Seek not vainly to usurp 
 his prerogative. "Wouldst thou be a God and 
 Saviour to thyself? Consider how much of the 
 fall there is in this selfish desire to be as God, 
 in knowing that which belongs not to thee to 
 know. Thou knowest that there undoubtedly 
 is a God of infinite perfection, " and that he is 
 a re warder of them that diligently seek him." 
 Labor more to know thy duty to this God, and 
 absolutely trust him as to the particulars of 
 thy reward. Thou didst trust thy parents to 
 provide thee food and raiment, and didst im- 
 plicitly obey them. Thou hast trusted phy- 
 sicians to give thee medicines, without inquir- 
 ing after every ingredient. If a pilot undertake 
 to carry thee to the Indies, thou canst trust his 
 conduct without knowing either the ship or 
 how to govern it, or the way, or the place to 
 which thou art conveyed. And must not thy 
 God and Saviour be trusted to bring thee safe 
 to heaven unless he will satisfy all thy inqui- 
 ries ? The command to be " careful for noth- 
 ing," and to "cast all thy care on God, who 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 141 
 
 careth for thee," obligeth thee in all things 
 that are God's part. To dispose of a depart- 
 ing soul is God's part. how much evil is 
 there in this distrusting, self-providing care. 
 Be not " cast down," departing soul, nor by- 
 unbelief " disquieted within me. Trust thou 
 in God," for soon shall experience teach thee 
 to "praise him," who is "the health of my 
 countenance, and my God." 
 
 How clearly does reason command me to 
 trust him, absolutely and implicitly to trust 
 him, and to distrust myself. He is essential, 
 infinite perfection, wisdom, power, and love 
 There is nothing to be trusted in any creature 
 but God working in it, or by it. I am alto- 
 gether his own, by right, by devotion, and by 
 consent. He is the giver of all good to every 
 creature, as freely as the sun gives its light ; 
 and shall we not trust the sun to shine ? He 
 is my Father, and has taken me into his fam- 
 ily ; and shall I not trust my heavenly Father ? 
 He has given me his Son, as the greatest pledge 
 of his love; and "shall he not with him also 
 freely give me all things ?" His Son purposely 
 came to reveal his Father's unspeakable love ; 
 
142 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 and shall I not trust him who has proclaimed 
 his love by such a messenger from heaven ? 
 He has given me the Spirit of his Son. even 
 the Spirit of adoption, the witness, pledge, and 
 earnest of heaven, the seal of Grod upon me, 
 " holiness to the Lord;" and shall I not believe 
 his love and trust him ? He has made me a 
 member of his Son, and will he not take care 
 of me, and is not Christ to be trusted with his 
 members ? I am his interest, and the interest 
 of his Son, freely beloved and dearly bought; 
 and may I not trust him with his treasure ? 
 He has made me the care of angels, who re- 
 joiced at my repentance; and shall they lose 
 their joy or ministration ? He is in covenant 
 with me, and has " given me many great and 
 precious promises;" and can he be unfaithful ? 
 My Saviour is the forerunner, who has entered 
 into the holiest, and is there interceding for 
 me, having first conquered death to assure us 
 of a future life, and ascended into heaven, to 
 show us whither we must ascend, saying to 
 his brethren, "I ascend to my Father and 
 your Father, to my Grod and your Grod ;" and 
 shall I not follow him through death, and trust 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 143 
 
 such a guide and captain of my salvation? 
 He is there to " prepare a place for me, and 
 will receive me unto himself;" and may I not 
 confidently expect it ? He told a malefactor 
 on the cross, u To-day shalt thou be with me 
 in paradise," to show believing sinners what 
 they may expect. His apostles and other 
 saints have served him on earth with all these 
 expectations. " The spirits of just men made 
 perfect" are now possessing what I hope for, 
 and I am a " follower of them who through 
 faith and patience inherit the promised" felic- 
 ity ; and may I not trust him to save me, who 
 has already saved millions ? I must be at the 
 divine disposal, whether I will or not; and 
 however I vex my soul with fears and cares 
 and sorrows, I shall never prevail against the 
 will of Grod, which is the only rest of souls. 
 Our own wills have undone us, and are our 
 disease, our prison, and our death, till they are 
 brought over to the will of G-od ; and shall I 
 die, distrustfully striving against his wifl, and 
 preferring my own before it ? 
 
 "What abundant experience have I had of 
 God's fidelity and love; and after all shall I not 
 
144 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 trust him? His undeserved mercy gave me 
 being, chose my parents, gave them affection- 
 ate desires for my real good, taught them to 
 instruct me early in his word, and educate me 
 in his fear ; made my habitation and com- 
 panions suitable, endowed me with a teachable 
 disposition, put excellent books into my hands, 
 and placed me under wise and faithful school- 
 masters and ministers. His mercy fixed me in 
 the best of lands, and in the best age that land 
 had seen. His mercy early destroyed in me 
 all great expectations from the world, taught 
 me to bear the yoke from my youth, caused 
 me rather to groan under my infirmities than 
 struggle with powerful lusts, and chastened 
 me betimes, but did not give me over unto 
 death. Ever since I was at the age of nine- 
 teen, great mercy has trained me up in the 
 school of affliction, to keep my sluggish soul 
 awake in constant expectation of my change, 
 to kill my proud and worldly thoughts, and to 
 direct all my studies to things the most neces- 
 sary. How has a life of constant but gentle 
 chastisement urged me to " make my calling 
 and lection sure," and to prepare my accounts, 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 1 15 
 
 as one that must quickly give them up to God. 
 The face of death, and nearness of eternity, 
 convinced me what books to read, what studies 
 to prosecute, what companions to choose ; drove 
 me early into the vineyard of the Lord, and 
 taught me to preach as a dying man to dying 
 men. It was divine love and mercy which 
 made sacred truth so pleasant to me, that my 
 life, under all my infirmities, has been almost 
 a constant recreation. How far beyond my 
 expectation has a merciful G-od encouraged me 
 in h. r s sacred work, choosing every place of my 
 ministry and abode to this day, without my 
 own seeking, and never sending me to labor in 
 vain. How many are gone to heaven, and how 
 many are in the way, through a divine bless- 
 ing on the word which in weakness I delivered. 
 Many good Christians are glad of now and then 
 an hour to meditate on God's word, and refresh 
 themselves in his holy worship but God has 
 allowed and called me to make it the constant 
 business of my life. In my library I have 
 profitably and pleasantly dwelt among the 
 shining lights, with which the learned, wise, 
 and holy men of all ages have illuminated the 
 
 P. Thought* 1 
 
X46 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 world. How many comfortable hours have I 
 had in the society of living saints, and in the 
 love of faithful friends. How many joyful 
 days in solemn worshipping assemblies where 
 the Spirit of Christ has been manifestly pres- 
 ent, both with ministers and people. How 
 unworthy was such a sinful worm as I, who 
 never had any academical helps, nor much 
 from the mouth of any teacher, that books 
 should become so great a blessing to me, and 
 that (rod should induce or constrain me, quite 
 beyond my own intentions, to provide any such 
 like helps for others. How unworthy that Grod 
 should use me above forty years in so comfort- 
 able a work as pleading and w T riting for love, 
 peace, and concord, and with so much success. 
 "What mercy had I amidst the calamities of a 
 civil war, to live two years in safety at Cov- 
 entry, a city of defence, and in the heart of the 
 kingdom. When I afterwards saw the effects 
 of human folly and fury, and of Grod's dis- 
 pleasure, in the ruin of towns and countries, 
 and in the fields covered with carcasses of the 
 slain, how mercifully was I preserved and 
 brought home in peace. And Oh, how great 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 147 
 
 was the mercy showed me in a peaceable, 
 humble, unanimous people, so numerous, so 
 exemplary, and w T ho to this day maintain their 
 integrity and concord, when, for thirty-one 
 years, I have been forced to remain at a dis- 
 tance from them. "What a mercy, when I might 
 not speak by voice to any single congregation, 
 to be enabled to speak by writings to many, 
 and to have the plainest writings attended with 
 success, and some of them sent to preach in 
 foreign lands and languages. Though I have 
 been sent to the common jail for my service 
 and obedience to God, yet he has there kept 
 me in peace, and soon delivered me : and how 
 often has he succored me when nature and art 
 have failed. How he has cured my consump- 
 tive coughs, stopped my flowing blood, eased 
 my pained limbs, and upheld an emaciated 
 skeleton. I have had fifty years added to my 
 days, though I expected not to live one of 
 them ; and what strange deliverances have 
 been wrought for me, upon< the importunate 
 requests of many hundreds of my praying 
 friends. How have I been kept in ordinary 
 health and safety, when the raging pestilence 
 
148 ' DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 came near my habitation and consumed a 
 hundred thousand citizens. And how was my 
 dwelling preserved, when I saw London, the 
 glory of the land, in flames. These, and many 
 more, are my experiences of that wonderful 
 mercy which has measured my pilgrimage, and 
 filled up my days. Never did God break his 
 promise with me. Never did he fail me or 
 forsake me. And shall I now distrust him at 
 last? 
 
 " To thee, Lord, as to ' a faithful Creator,' 
 I commit my soul. I know that thou art ' the 
 faithful (rod, which .keepeth covenant and 
 mercy with them that love thee and keep thy 
 commandments. Thou art faithful, who hast 
 called me to the fellowship of thy Son Jesus 
 Christ our Lord.' Thy faithfulness has saved 
 me from temptation, and kept me from pre- 
 vailing evil, and will ' preserve my whole spirit 
 and soul and body unto the coming of Christ.' 
 It is in faithfulness thou hast afflicted me ; and 
 shall I not trust thee to save me ? ' It is 
 thy faithful saying, that thy elect shall obtain 
 the salvation which is in Christ Jesus, with 
 eternal glory; for if we be dead with him, we 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 149 
 
 shall also live with him ; if we suffer, we shall 
 also reign with him.' To thee, my Saviour, 
 I commit my soul ; it is thine by redemption, 
 thine by covenant ; it is sealed by thy Spirit, 
 and thou hast promised not to lose it. Thou 
 wast 4 made like unto thy brethren, that thou 
 mightest be a merciful and faithful High-priest 
 in things pertaining to Grod, to make reconcili- 
 ation for our sins.' By thy blood we have bold- 
 ness to enter into the holiest, by a new and 
 living way consecrated for us. Cause me to 
 i draw near with a true heart in full assurance 
 of faith.' Thy name is faithful and true. 
 True and faithful are all thy promises. Thou 
 hast promised rest to weary souls that come 
 to thee. I am weary of suffering, sin, and 
 flesh — weary of my darkness, dulness, and dis- 
 tance. Whither should I look for rest, but 
 home to my heavenly Father and thee ? I am 
 but a bruised reed, but thou wilt not break 
 me. I am but smoking flax, but thou wilt not 
 quench what thy grace hath kindled. Thou, 
 in whose name the nations trust, ' wilt bring 
 forth judgment unto victory.' The Lord re- 
 deemeth the souls of his servants, and none of 
 
150 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 them that trust in him shall be desolate. I will 
 wait on thy name ; for it is good : I trust in the 
 mercy of G-od for ever and ever. The Lord is 
 good, a strong-hold in the day of trouble, and 
 he knoweth them that trust in him. Sinful 
 fear brings a snare ; but whoso putteth his trust 
 in the Lord shall be safe. ' Blessed is the man 
 that maketh the Lord his trust. Thou art my 
 hope, Lord Grod ; thou art my trust from my 
 youth. By thee have I been holden up from 
 the womb : my praise shall be continually of 
 thee. Cast me not off in the time of old age ; 
 forsake me not when my strength faileth. 
 G-od, thou hast taught me from my youth, and 
 hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. 
 Now also, when I am old and gray-headed, 
 Grod, forsake me not. Mine eyes are unto thee, 
 G-od the Lord : in thee is my trust ; leave 
 not my soul destitute. I had fainted, unless I 
 had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in 
 the land of the living,' even where they that 
 live shall die no more." The sun may cease 
 to shine on man, and the earth to bear us; but 
 God will never cease to be faithful to his prom- 
 ises. Blessed be the Lord, who has commanded 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 151 
 
 me so safe and quieting a duty as to trust in 
 him, and cast all my cares upon him who has 
 promised to care for me. 
 
 2. Hope also for the salvation of God. Hope 
 is the ease, yea, the life of our hearts, which 
 would otherwise break, and even die within us. 
 Despair is no small part of hell. God cherishes 
 hope, as he is the lover of souls. Satan our 
 enemy cherishes despair, when his more usual 
 way of presumption fails. Hope anticipates 
 salvation, as fear does evil. It is the hypo- 
 crite's hope that perishes ; and all who hope 
 for durable happiness on earth must be deceived. 
 But " happy is he that hath the God of Jacob 
 for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God, 
 which made heaven and earth, which keepeth 
 truth for ever." Woe to me, if in this life 
 only I had hope. But the righteous hath hope 
 in his death. And hope maketh not ashamed. 
 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, 
 and whose hope the Lord is. Lay hold then, 
 my soul, upon the hope set before thee; 
 it is thy sure and steadfast anchor, without 
 which thou wilt be as a shipwrecked vessel. 
 Thy foundation is sure, even God himself. Our 
 
152 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 faith and hope are both in God. Christ dwells 
 in our hearts by faith, is in us the hope of glory. 
 By this hope, better than the law of Moses 
 could bring, we draw nigh unto God. "We hope 
 for that we see not, and with patience wait for 
 it. We are saved by hope. It is an encourag- 
 ing grace ; it excites our diligence and helps to 
 full assurance unto the end. It is a desiring 
 grace, and is an earnest to obtain the glory 
 hoped for. It is a comforting grace ; for the 
 God of hope fills us with all joy and peace in 
 believing, that we may abound in hope through 
 the power of the Holy Ghost. Shake off 
 despondency, my soul, and rejoice in hope 
 of the glory of God. Believe in hope, though 
 dying flesh would tell thee that it is against 
 hope. 
 
 What blessed preparations are made for our 
 hope ! God has confirmed it by two immu- 
 table things, his promise and his oath. "His 
 abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a 
 lively hope, by the resurrection of Christ, to an 
 inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, and 
 that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for 
 us." Grace teacheth us, that " denying ungoa- 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 153 
 
 liness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, 
 righteously, and godly in this present world ; 
 looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious 
 appearing of the great God and our Saviour." 
 We are renewed by the Holy Ghost, and 
 justified by grace, that we should be made heirs 
 according to the hope of eternal life. The eyes 
 of our understanding are enlightened, that we 
 may know what is the hope of his calling, and 
 what the riches of the glory of this inheritance 
 in the saints. The hope which is laid up for 
 us in heaven hath, through the gospel, brought 
 life and immortality to light. Having hope 
 towards God, we exercise ourselves to have 
 always a conscience void of offence, and serve 
 Gfod day and night. For a helmet, we put on 
 the hope of salvation. Death is not to us as to 
 others which have no hope. Our Lord Jesus 
 Christ and God, even our Father, hath loved 
 us, and hath given us everlasting consolation 
 and good hope through grace, to comfort our 
 hearts and establish us in every good word and 
 work. We must hold fast the rejoicing of the 
 hope firm unto the end, and continue in the 
 faith grounded and settled, and not be moved 
 
154 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 away from the hope of the gospel. And 
 now, Lord, what wait I for ? My hope is in 
 thee. Uphold me according to thy word, that 
 I may live, and let me not be ashamed of my 
 hope. Though our iniquities testify against us, 
 yet, Lord, the Hope of Israel, the Saviour 
 thereof in time of trouble, be not as a stranger, 
 leave us not. We have been showed the praises 
 of the Lord and his wonderful works, that we 
 might set our hope in Grod. Remember the 
 word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast 
 caused me to hope. If thou, Lord, shouldest 
 mark iniquities, Lord, who shall stand? 
 But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou 
 may est be feared. I wait for the Lord, my 
 soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. Let 
 Israel hope in the Lord ; for with the Lord 
 there is mercy, and with him is plenteous re- 
 demption. The Lord taketh pleasure in them 
 that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy. 
 Though my flesh and heart fail, God is the 
 strength of my* heart. The Lord is my portion, 
 saith my soul ; therefore will I hope in him. 
 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, 
 to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 155 
 
 man should both hope and quietly wait for the 
 salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man 
 that he hear the yoke in his youth, and that he 
 keepeth silence, and putteth his mouth in the 
 dust, if so he there may be hope. 
 
 G-od needs not flatter such worms as we 
 are, nor promise us what he never means to 
 perform. He has laid the rudiments of our 
 hope in a nature capable of desiring, seeking, 
 and thinking of another life. He has called 
 me by grace to actual desires and endeavors, 
 and has vouchsafed some foretastes. I look for 
 no heaven but the perfection of divine life, light, 
 and love in endless glory with Christ and his 
 saints, and this he has already begun in me. 
 And shall I not boldly hope, when I have ca- 
 pacity, the promise, and the earnest and fore- 
 taste ? Is it not God himself that caused me 
 to hope? "Was not nature, promise, and grace 
 from him ? And can a soul miscarry and be 
 deceived, that departs hence in a hope of God's 
 own producing and encouraging? "Lord, I 
 have lived in hope, I have prayed, labored, 
 suffered, and w 7 aited in hope, and by thy grace, 
 I will die in hope ; and is not this according to 
 
156 DYINO THOUGHTS. 
 
 thy word and will ? And wilt thou cast away 
 a soul that hopes in thee by thine own com- 
 mand and operation ?" Had wealth and honor 
 and continuance on earth, or the favor of man, 
 been my reward and hope, my hope and I had 
 died together. "Were this our best, how vain 
 were man ; but the Lord liveth, and my Re- 
 deemer is glorified, and intercedes for me : and 
 the same Spirit is in heaven who is in my 
 heart, as the same sun is in the firmament and 
 in my house. The promise is sure to all Christ's 
 seed ; for millions are now in heaven who once 
 lived and died in hope : they were sinners once, 
 as I now am; they had no other Saviour, Sanc- 
 tifier, or promise, than I now have. Confess- 
 ing that they were strangers and pilgrims on 
 the earth, they desired a better country, that 
 is, a heavenly, where they now are. And 
 shall I not follow them in hope, who have sped 
 so well? Then, my soul, hope unto the 
 end. Hope in the Lord, from henceforth and 
 for ever. I will hope continually, and will 
 yet praise him more and more. My mouth 
 shall show forth his righteousness and salva- 
 tion; The Lord is at my right hand, I shall 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 157 
 
 not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and 
 my glory rejoiceth; my flesh also shall rest in 
 hope. Grod hath showed me the path of life : 
 in his presence is fulness of joy, at his right 
 hand there are pleasures for evermore. 
 
 3. What then remains, but that in faith and 
 hope I love my Grod, my Saviour, my Com- 
 forter, the glorious society, and my own per- 
 fection in glory, better than this burden of 
 flesh, and this howling wilderness ? How odious 
 is that darkness and unbelief, that unholiness 
 and disaffection, that deadness and stupidity, 
 which makes such love seem hard and unsuit- 
 able. Is it unsuitable or hard for the eye to 
 see the light or the beauties of creation, or for 
 a man to love his life or health, his father or 
 his friend ? What should be easier to a nature 
 that has rational love, than to love him who is 
 love itself? He that loveth all, and gives to 
 all a capacity to love, should be loved by all; 
 and he that hath especially loved me, should 
 especially be loved by me. 
 
 Love desires to please God, and therefore to 
 be in the most pleasing state, and freed from 
 all that is displeasing to him ; which is not to 
 
158 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 be hoped for on earth. It desires all suitable 
 nearness, acquaintance, union, and communion. 
 It is weary of distance and alienation. It 
 takes advantage of every notice of God to re- 
 new and exercise these desires. Every mes- 
 sage and mercy from God is fuel for love, and 
 while we are short of perfection, stirs up our 
 desires after more of God. The soul is where 
 it loves. If our friends dwell in our hearts by 
 love, and if fleshly pleasures, riches, and hon- 
 or dwell in the hearts of the voluptuous, covet- 
 ous, and proud ? surely God and Christ, heaven 
 and holiness dwell in the heart which loves 
 them fervently. And if heaven dwell in my 
 heart, shall I not desire to dwell in heaven? 
 Would divine love more plentifully pour itself 
 upon my heart, how easy would it be to leave 
 this flesh and world. Death and the grave 
 would be but a triumph for victorious love. It 
 would be easier to die in peace and joy, than 
 to go to rest at night after a fatiguing day, or 
 eat when I am hungry. A little love has made 
 me willingly study, preach, write, and even 
 suffer ; and would not more love make me 
 willingly go to God ? Shall the imagination 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 159 
 
 of house, gardens, walks, libraries, prospects, 
 etc., allure the desires of deceived minds, and 
 shall not the thoughts of heavenly mansions, 
 converse, and joys, more powerfully draw up 
 my desires ? Can I love such a world as this, 
 where tyranny sheds streams of blood and lays 
 cities and countries desolate ; where the wicked 
 are exalted, the just and innocent reproached 
 and oppressed, the gospel restrained, and idol- 
 atry and infidelity prevail? And shall I not 
 think more delightfully of "the inheritance 
 of the saints in light," and of the cordial love 
 and joyful praises of the church triumphant ? 
 Should I not love a lovely and loving world 
 much better than a world where there is com- 
 paratively so little loveliness or love ? All that 
 is of God is good and lovely. But here his 
 glory shines not in felicitating splendor. I am 
 taught to look upward when I pray, "Our 
 Father which art in heaven." God's works 
 are amiable even in hell; and yet, though I 
 would know them, I would not be there. 
 And alas, how much of the works of man are 
 here mixed with the works of God! Here is 
 God's wisdom, but man's folly; God's govern- 
 
160 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 ment, but man's tyranny ; God's love and mer 
 ey, but man's wrath and cruelty ; much of God's 
 beautiful order and harmony, but much of man's 
 deformity and confusion. Here is much truth 
 and justice; but how it is mixed. Here are 
 wise, judicious teachers and companions, but 
 comparatively how few. Here are worthy and 
 religious families ; but by the temptations of 
 wealth and worldly interest, how full even of 
 the sins "of Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and 
 abundance of idleness," if not also of unmerci- 
 fulness to the poor. And how few pious fami- 
 lies of the great, that do not quickly degenerate 
 from their progenitors by error or sensuality. 
 Here are some that educate their children wisely 
 krthe fear of God, and accordingly have com- 
 fort in them; but how many are there that 
 train them up to the service of the world, the 
 flesh, and the devil. 
 
 How many send their children to get sciences, 
 trades, or to travel in foreign lands, before ever 
 they were instructed, at home, against those 
 temptations which they must encounter, and 
 by which they are so often undone. How 
 commonly, when they have first neglected this 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. J61 
 
 great duty to their children, do they plead a 
 necessity of thrusting them out, from some 
 punctilio of honor, or conformity to the world, 
 or to adorn them with some of the plumes of 
 fashionable modes and ceremonies, which will 
 never compensate the loss of heavenly wisdom, 
 mortification, and the love of God and man. 
 As if they might send them to sea for some 
 trifling reason, without pilot or anchor, and 
 think that God must save them from the waves. 
 And when such children have forsaken God, 
 and given themselves up to sensuality and pro- 
 faneness, these parents wonder at the judg- 
 ments of God, and with broken hearts lament 
 their own infelicity, instead of lamenting their 
 own misconduct. Thus families, churches, 
 and kingdoms run on to blindness, ungodliness, 
 and confusion. Folly, sin, and misery, mis- 
 taking themselves for wit, honor, and prosper- 
 ity, are the ordinary pursuits of mortals. Such 
 a bedlam is most of the world become, that 
 he is the bravest man who can sin and be 
 damned with reputation and renown, and suc- 
 cessfully draw the greatest number with him 
 to hell. This is the world which stands in 
 
 D. Thought*. 1 1 
 
162 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 competition for ray love, with the spiritual, 
 blessed world. 
 
 In this world I have had many of God's 
 mercies and comforts ; but their sweetness 
 was their taste of divine love and their ten- 
 dency to heavenly perfection. What was the 
 end and use of all the good that ever I saw, or 
 that God ever did for my soul or body, but to 
 teach me to love him, and to desire to love him 
 more ? Wherever I go, and whichever way I 
 look, I see vanity and vexation written upon 
 all things in this world, so far as they stand in 
 competition with G-od ; and I see holiness to 
 the Lord written upon every thing, so far as it 
 leads me to him as my ultimate end. The 
 emptiness, danger, and bitterness of the world, 
 and the all-sufficiency, faithfulness, and good- 
 ness of God, have been the sum of all the ex- 
 periences of all my life. And shall a worldly, 
 backward heart overcome the teachings of na- 
 ture, Scripture, the Spirit of grace, and all expe- 
 rience ? "0 my God, love is thy great and 
 special gift. All good is from thee. Come 
 into this heart, for it cannot come up to thee. 
 Can the plants go up to the sun for life, or the 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 163 
 
 eye for light? Dwell in me by the Spirit of 
 love, and I shall dwell by love in thee. I easily 
 feel that through thy grace I love thy word, 
 thy image, thy work ; and 0, how heartily do I 
 love to love thee, and how long to know and 
 love thee more. And if ' all things be of thee, 
 and through thee, and to thee,' surely this love 
 is eminently so. It means thee, Lord. It 
 looks to thee ; it serves thee : for thee it moves 
 and seeks and sighs : in thee it trusts ; and 
 the hope and peace and comfort which support 
 me are in thee. When I was a returning 
 prodigal in rags, thou sawest me afar off, and 
 didst meet me with the caresses of thy love ; 
 and shall I doubt whether He that has better 
 clothed me, and has dwelt within me, will 
 entertain me in the world of love ?" 
 
 The suitableness of things below to my 
 fleshly nature has detained my affections too 
 much on earth ; and shall not the suitableness 
 of things above to my spiritual nature much 
 more draw up my love to heaven ? There is 
 the God whom I have sought and served. He 
 is also here, but veiled, and little known. 
 There he shines to heavenly spirits in heavenly 
 
164 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 glory. There is the Saviour in whom I have 
 believed. He also dwelt on earth, "but clothed 
 in such meanness, and humbled to such a life 
 and death, as was to the Jews a stumbling- 
 block, and to the Greeks foolishness. Now he 
 shines and reigns in glory, above the malice 
 and contempt of sinners. And I shall live 
 there because he lives ; and in his light I shall 
 see light. I had here some rays of heavenly 
 light, but under what eclipses, and even long 
 and winter nights. There I shall dwell in the 
 city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, where 
 there is no night nor eclipse. There are heav- 
 enly hosts, in whose holy love and joyful praises 
 I would fain partake. I have here, though un- 
 seen, had some of their loving assistance ; but 
 there I shall be with them, of the same nature, 
 and the same triumphant church. There are 
 perfected souls : not striving, like the disciples, 
 who should be the greatest ; not like Noah in 
 the old world, or Lot in Sodom, or Abraham 
 among idolaters ; nor like those that " wan- 
 dered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being 
 destitute, afflicted, tormented, hid in dens and 
 caves of the earth ;" nor like Job on the dung- 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 165 
 
 hill, or Lazarus at the rich man's gate ; nor as 
 we poor bewildered sinners, feeling evil and 
 fearing more. Should I fear a darksome pas- 
 sage into a world of perfect light ? Should I 
 fear to go to love itself ? excellent grace of 
 faith which foresees, and blessed word of faith 
 which foreshows this world of love. 
 
 And canst thou doubt, my soul, whether 
 thou art going to a Grod that loveth thee ? If 
 the Jew r s discerned the great love of Christ to 
 Lazarus by his tears, canst not thou discern 
 his love to thee in his blood? It is not the 
 less precious, because shed, not for thee alone, 
 but for many. May I not say, I live by the 
 faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and 
 gave himself for me ? Yea, it is not so much 
 I that live, but Christ liveth in me. And will 
 he forsake the habitation which his love has 
 chosen, and which he has so dearly bought? 
 "What shall separate us from the love of Grod ? 
 If life has not, death shall not do it. my 
 soul, if leaning on Christ's breast at meat was 
 a token of his peculiar love to John, is not his 
 dwelling in thee by faith, and his living in thee 
 by his Spirit, a sure token of his love to thee ? 
 
166 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 Did his darkly saying, " If I will that he tarry 
 till I come, what is that to thee?" raise a report 
 that the beloved disciple should not die; why 
 should not plain promises assure thee that thou 
 shalt live for ever with him that loveth thee ? 
 Be not so unthankful, my soul, as to doubt 
 whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord 
 love thee. Canst thou forget the sealed testi- 
 monies of it ? Did I not lately repeat so many 
 as ought to shame thy doubt? A multitude 
 of thy friends have so entirely loved thee, that 
 thou canst not doubt of it; and did any of 
 them testify their love with the convincing evi- 
 dence that Grod has done ? Are they love itself? 
 Is their love so full, so firm and unchangeable 
 as his? I think heaven the sweeter, because 
 many of my old, lovely, affectionate, holy friends 
 are there, and I am the more willing by death 
 to follow them. And should it not be more 
 pleasing to think that my Grod and Father, my 
 Saviour and Comforter are there ? Was not 
 Lazarus in the bosom of G-od ? And yet he is 
 said to be in Abraham's bosom ; that is, not 
 there alone, but as we are all to sit down with 
 Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 167 
 
 God. I am often ready to entertain myself 
 with naming such of my friends as are now 
 with Christ ; but in heaven they will love me 
 better than they did on earth, and my love to 
 them will be more pleasant. But all these 
 sparks are little to the sun. 
 
 Every place I have lived in has its monu- 
 ments of divine love. Every year and hour of 
 my life has been a time of love. Every friend, 
 neighbor, and even enemy, have been the mes- 
 sengers and instruments of love. Every state 
 and change of my life, notwithstanding my sin, 
 have opened to me the treasures and mysteries 
 of love. And shall I doubt whether the same 
 God loves me ? Is he the God of the hills and 
 not of the valleys? Did he love me in my 
 youth and health, and will he not also in my 
 age and pain and sickness ? Did he love all 
 the saints better in their life than at their 
 death? My groans grieve my friends, but 
 abate not their love. God loved me when I 
 was his enemy to make me a friend. God 
 will finish his own work. the multitude of 
 mercies to my soul and body, in peace and 
 war, in youth and age, to myself and friends. 
 
168 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 Have I lived in the experience of the love of 
 God to me, and shall I die doubting of it ? I 
 am not much in doubt of the truth of my love 
 to him. I love his word, works, and ways, and 
 would fain be nearer to him, and love him more, 
 and loathe myself for loving him no better. 
 Peter may more confidently say, " Thou know- 
 est that I love thee," than, "I know that thou 
 lovest me," because our knowledge of God's 
 great love is less than his knowledge of our 
 little love ; and without the knowledge of our 
 love to God, we can never be sure of his special 
 love to us. I am not entirely a stranger to my- 
 self. I know for what I have lived and labored, 
 and whom I have desired to please. The " God 
 whose I am, and whom I serve," hath loved me 
 in my youth, and will love me in my aged 
 weakness. My pains seem grievous, but love 
 chooses them, uses them for my good, moder- 
 ates them, and will shortly end them. "Why 
 then should I doubt of my Father's love ? Shall 
 pain or dying make me doubt ? Did God never 
 love any but Enoch and Elijah? And what 
 am I better than my fathers ? for a clearer, 
 stronger faith. Methinks Daniel's title, "a 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 169 
 
 man greatly beloved," should be enough to 
 make one joyfully love and trust God, both in 
 life and death. And have not all the saints 
 that title in their degrees ? What else signi- 
 fies their mark, " holiness to the Lord ?" It is 
 • but our separation to God as his peculiar, be- 
 loved people. And how are we separated but 
 by mutual love? He that is no otherwise 
 beloved than hypocrites and unbelievers, must 
 have his portion with them ; and the ungodly, 
 unholy, and unregenerate shall not stand in 
 judgment, nor see God, nor enter into his king- 
 dom. Upright souls are to blame for their 
 groundless doubts of God's love, not for their 
 acknowledging it, rejoicing in it, or for being 
 solicitous to make it sure. Love brought me 
 into the world, and furnished me with a thou- 
 sand mercies, and has provided for me, deliv- 
 ered, and preserved me till now ; and will it not 
 entertain my separate soul ? Is God like false 
 or insufficient friends, that forsake us in ad- 
 versity ? 
 
 I confess I h&ve by sin wronged love ; but 
 all except Christ were sinners, whom love has 
 purified and received to glory. " God, who is 
 
170 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he 
 loved us, even w T hen we were dead in sins, 
 hath quickened us together with Christ — by- 
 grace we are saved — and hath raised us up 
 together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus." 
 that I could love much, that have so much 
 forgiven ! The glorified praise " Him that loved 
 us, and washed us from our sins in his own 
 blood, and hath made us kings and priests unto 
 Grod." Our Father, who hath loved us, hath 
 given us " everlasting consolation and good hope 
 through grace." I know no sin which I repent 
 not of with self-loathing, and I earnestly beg 
 and labor that none of my sins may be un- 
 known to me. that God would bless my 
 accusations, that I may not be unknown to 
 myself, though some think me much better 
 than I am. " Who can understand his errors ?" 
 Lord, " cleanse thou me from secret faults; 
 keep back thy servant also from presumptuous 
 sins." I have an Advocate with thee, and thy 
 promise, that "if we confess our sins," thou 
 wilt " forgive them." "Wherever I have erred, 
 Lord, make it known to me, that my confession 
 may prevent the sin of others; and where I 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 171 
 
 have not erred, confirm and accept me in the 
 right. And since an unworthy worm has had 
 so many testimonies of thy love, let me not, 
 when thou sayest, "I have loved thee," un- 
 thankfully ask, "Wherein hast thou loved me ?" 
 Heaven is not more spangled with stars than 
 thy word and works with the refulgent signa- 
 tures of love. Thy well-beloved Son, the Son 
 of thy love, undertaketh the message and work 
 of the greatest love, was full of the spirit of 
 love ; which he shed abroad in the hearts of 
 thine elect, that the love of the Father, the 
 grace of the Son, and the communion of the 
 Spirit may be their hope and life. By his 
 works, sufferings, and gifts, as well as by his 
 comfortable word, he said to his disciples, " As 
 the Father loved me, so have I loved you ; con- 
 tinue ye in my love." Lord, how shall we 
 continue in it, but by the thankful belief of 
 thy love and loveliness, desiring still to love 
 thee more, and in all things to know and do 
 thy will, which thou knowest is my soul's 
 desire ? 
 
 Draw nearer, my soul, to the Lord of 
 love, and be not seldom and slight in thy con- 
 
172 DYING THOUGHTS. 
 
 templation of his love and loveliness. Dwell 
 in the sunshine, and thou wilt know that it 
 is light and warm and comfortable. Distance 
 and strangeness cherish thy doubts. " Ac- 
 quaint thyself with him, and be at peace." 
 Look up, often and earnestly look up after 
 thy ascended glorified Head. Think where 
 and what he is, and what he is now doing for 
 all his own and once abased : suffering love is 
 now triumphant, reigning, glorified love ; and 
 therefore not less now than in all its tender 
 expressions on earth. Had I done this more 
 and better, and as I have persuaded others to 
 do it, I had lived in more convincing delights 
 of (xod's love, which would have turned the 
 fears of death into more joyful hopes, and more 
 earnest " desires to be with Christ," in the 
 arms, in the world, in the life of love, as far 
 better than to be here in a world of darkness, 
 doubts, and fears. But 0, my Father, thou 
 infinite Love, though my arguments be many 
 and strong, my heart is bad, my strength is 
 weakness, and I am insufficient to plead the 
 cause of thy love and loveliness to myself or 
 others. plead thy own cause, and what 
 
WILLINGNESS TO BE WITH CHRIST. 173 
 
 heart can resist? Let it not be my word 
 only, but thine, that thou lovest me, even me 
 a sinner. Say as Christ to Lazarus, "Arise!" 
 Tell me as thou dost, that the sun is warm, 
 yea, as thou didst, that my parents and dear- 
 est friends loved me. Tell me, as by the con- 
 sciousness and works of life thou tellest me, 
 that thou hast given me life ; that while I can 
 say, Thou that knowest all things, knowest 
 that I love thee, I may infer, Therefore I 
 know I am beloved of thee. Thus let me 
 come to thee in the confidence of thy love, and 
 long to be nearer, in the clearer sight, the fuller 
 sense, and more joyful exercise of love for ever. 
 Father, into thy hand I commend my spirit. 
 Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Amen. 
 
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