Hollinger Corp. pH8.5 LOVERS' QUARRELS; PI? 57-.'/ PR 3737 1823 ^°PV 1 l^' ONE ACT, ALTERED FROM THE MISTAKE. •AKEN BY PERMISSION FROM THE PHILADELPHIA PFOMPT ROOK. io;< f WASHINGTON : PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY DAVIS AND FORCE, (fRANK- LIN's head J PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, }^2X DRAMATIS PERSONS. . MEN. Don Carlos,... Mr. Wemyss. Sancho, Jefferson. Lopez, T. Jefferson' WOMEN. Leonora,.. Mrs. Anderson. Jacinta, , Francis. N. B. Stage directions are faithfully marked. *4»*Time of Representation, thirty-three minutes. [tir The lines distinguished by inverted commas y are to he omitted in the Representation, f/yy'f LOVERS' QUARRELS; OR, IjIKE master, like 3IAJV* SCENE I. The Street. Enter Carlos and Sancho, r. u. Car. I tell thee, I am not satisfied ; I'm in love enough to be suspicious of every body. San. And yet, methinks, Sir, you should leave me out. Car. It may be so ; I can't tell ; but Vm not at ease. If they don't make a knave, at least they'll make a fool of thee. San. I don't believe a v^ord on't. But, good faith, master, your love makes somewhat of you ; I don't know what 'tis ; but, methinks, when you suspect me, you don't seem a man of half those parts I used to take you for. Look in my face, 'tis round and come- ly, not one hollow line of a villian in it. Men of my fabric don't use to be suspected for knaves ; and when you take us for fools, we never take you for wise men. For my part, in this present case, I take my- self to be mighty deep. A stander-by, sir, S(Des more than a gamester. You are pleased to be jealous with your poor raiatress without a cause; she uses you 4 lovers' quarrels ; ok, but too well, in my humble opinion ; she sees you, and talks with you, till [ am quite tired on't some- times; and your rival, that you are so scared about forces a visit upon her about once in a fortnight. Car. Alas! thou art ignorant in these affairs ; he that's the civily'st received, is often the least cared for. Women appear warm to one, to hide a flame for another. Lorenzo, in short, appears too compos- ed ol" late to be a rejected lover; " and the indififer- " ence he shews upon the favours I seem to receive " from her, poisons the pleasure I else should taste " in them, and keeps me on a perpetual rack." No — I would fain see some of his jealous transports, have him fire at the sight o' me, contradict me whenever I speak, affront me wherever he meets me, challenge me, fight me—- — San. Run you thro' the guts — Car. But he's too calm, his heart's too much at ease, to leave me mine at rest. San. " But, Sir, you forget that there are two ways " for our hearts to get at ease; when our mistress- *' ee come to be very fond of us, or we — ^not to care " a tig for them. Now, suppose upon the rebukes " you know he has had, it should chance to be the " latter." Car. *' Again thy ignorance appears. Alas ! a lo- " ver who has broke his chain will shun the tyrant " that enslaved him. Indifference never is his lot ; ** he loves or hates for ever ; and if his mistress prove " another's prize, he cannot calmly see her in his " arms." San. For my part, master, I'm not so great a philo- sopher as you be, nor (thank my stars) so bitter a lo- ver ; but what I see, that I generally believe; and LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAN. -? when Jacinta tells me she loves me dearly, I have good thoughts enough of my person never to doubt the truth on't. See, here the baggage comes. Enter Jacinta with a letter, r. h. Hist! Jacinta! my dear. Jacin. Who's that? Blunderbuss! Where's your master ? San, Hard by. [Shewing him. Jacin. Oh, Sir, I'm glad I have found you at last ! I believe I have travelled five miles after you, and could neither find you at home, nor in the walks, nor at church, nor at the opera, nor San. Nor any where else where he was not to be found. If you had looked for him where he was, 'twas ten to one but you had met with him. Jacin, I had, Jack-a-dandy ! Car, But pr'ythee, what's the matter ? who ?'dnt you after me ? Jacin. One who's never well but when she sees you ; I think 'twas my lady. Car. Dear Jacinta, I fiunSwould flatter myself, but am not able. The blessing's too great to be my lot. Yet 'tis not well to trifle with me ; how short soe'er I am in other merit, the tenderness I have for Leon- ora claims something from her generosity. I should not be deluded. Jacin. And why do you think you are? Methinka she's pretty well above-board with you. What must be done more to satisfy you ? San. Why, Lorenzo must hang himself, and then we are content. Jacin. How ! Lorenzo ? San. If less will do, he'll telf you. A 2 t> lovers' quarrels ; OR, Jacin. Why, you are not mad, Sir, are'you ? JealoiiB of him ! Pra}', which way may this have got into your head ? I took you for a man of sense before. Is this your doings, log ? [_To Sancho, Sa}t No, forfooth, pert, I'm not much given to sus- picion, as you can tell, Mrs. Forward— If I were, I might tiud more cause, I guess, than your mistress has given our master here. But I have so many pretty thoughts of my own person, housewife, more than I have of yours, that I stand in dread ot no man. Jacin. That's the way to prosper ; however, so far I'll confess the truth to thee, at least, if that don't do, nothing else will. Men are mighty simple in love matters Sir. When you suspect a woman's falling off, you fall a plaguing her to bring her on again, attack her with reason and a sour face. Od'slife, Sir, attack her with a fiddle ! double your good hu- mour, give her a ball, powder your periwig at her, let her cheat you at cards a little, and I'll warrant all's right again. " But to come upon a poor woman with *' the gloomy face of jealousy, before she gives the *' least occasion for it, is to set a complaisant rival *' in too favourable a light. Sir, Sir, I must tell you, " I have seen those have owed their success to noth- *' ing else." Car. Say no more. I have been to blame ; but there shall be no more on't. Jacin. I should punish you but justly, however, for what's past, if I carried back what 1 have brought Tou. But I'm good natured ; so, here 'tis; open it, and see how wrong you timed your jealousy; [Gives the letter. Car. [Reads.] " If you love me with that tender- iie-;s you have made me long believe you do, this let- LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAX. 7 ter will be welcome ; 'tis to tell you, you have leave to plead a daughters weakness to a father's indul- gence ; and if you prevail with him to lay his com- mands upon me, you shall be as happy as my obedi- ence to them can make you. Leonora." Then I shall be what man was never yet. iKissing the letter.] Ten thousand blessings on thee for thy news. I could adore thee as a deity. [Embracing Jacin. Sancho. True flesh and blood, every inch of her, for all that. Car. [Reads again.] " And if you prevail with him to lay his commands upon me, you shall be as happy as my obedience to them can make you." Oh, happy, happy Carlos! — But what shall I say to thee, for this welcome message ? {To Jacinta.) Alas, I want words ! But let this speak for me, and this, and this, and [Giving her his ring, watch, and purse. San* Hold, Sir; pray, leave a little something for our board wages. You can't carry them all, I believe. (To Jacinta,) Shall I ease you of this ? [Offering to take the purse, Jacin. Nofbut you may carry ; — that, sirrah. [Giving him a box o' the ear. San, The jade's grown purse-proud already. Car- Well, dear Jacinta, say something to your Gharming mistress, that I am not able to say myself; but, above all, excuse my late unpardonable folly, and offer her my life to expiate my crime- Jacin. The best plea for pardon will be never to repeat the fault. Car. If that will do, 'tis sealed forever. 3 lovers' quarrels ; OR,. Jacin. Enough* But I must begone. Success at- tend you with the old gentleman. Good bye Vye^ Sir. lExit r. h.] Car. Eternal blessings follow thee. Sail. I think she has taken them all with her ; the jade has got her apron full* Car. Is not that Lorenzo's man coming this way ? San- Yes, 'tis he. Shall I draw him on a Scotch pair of boots, master, and make him tell all ? Car- Some questions I must ask him ; call him hi- ther- San. Hem ! Lopez, hem ! Enter Lopez l. h. Lop. Who calls? San. I and my master. Lop. 1 can't stay. San- You can indeed, Sir. [Laying hold on him-] Car- Whither in such haste, honest Lopez ? What, upon some love-errand ? Lop. Sir, your servant ; I ask your pardon ; but I was going Car. I guess where ; but you need not be so shy of me any more; thy master and I are no longer rivals; 1 have yielded up the cause ; the lady will have it so, so I submit- Lop. Is it possible. Sir ? Shall I then live to sec my master and you friends again ? I'm afraid you are pleased to be merry with your poor humble ser- vant. Car. "I'm not at present much disposed to mirth; " 'tis in vain to pursue a woman whose heart already *' is another's. 'Tis what I have so plainly seen of *' late, I Have roused my resolution to my aid and broke '' my chains lor ever-" LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAN. 9 Lop' Well, Sir, to be plain with you, that is the joy- ful lest news I have heard this long time ; for I always knew you to be a mighty honest gentleman : and, good faith, it often went to Ihe heart o' me, to see you so abused' Dear, dear, have I often said to my- self (when they have had a private meeting just after you have been gone) Car. Ha ! San. Hold, master, don't kill him yet [aside to Car. Lop. 1 say, I have said to myself, what wicked things are women, and what pity it is they should be suffered in a Chsistian conntry ! what a shame they should be allowed to play Will in-the-wisp with men of honour, and lead them through thorns and briars and rocks and rugged ways, till their hearts are torn in pieces, like an old coat in a fox-chase ! I say, 1 have said to myself Car- T'hou hast said enough to thyself, but say a little more to me. Where were these secret meet- ings thou talkest of? Lop' In sundry places, and by divers ways ; some- times in the cellar, sometimes in the garret, some- times in the court, sometimes in the gutter ; but the place where the kiss of kisses was given was ■ Car, In hell. Lop. Sir! Car. Thou liest, villian ! Lop- I don't know but I may, Sir What the devil's the matter now ? [Aside, Car- There's not one word of truth in all thy curs- ed tongue has uttered. Lop. No, Sir — I — I— believe there is not. Car. Why then didst thou say it, wretch ^ Lop. Oh! -only in jest, Sin .10 lovers' QUARRELS ; OR, Car. I am not in a jesting condition. Lop. Nor I^ ^at present, Sir- Car- Speak then the truth, as thou wouldest dp it at the hour of death. Lop' Yes, at the gallows, and be turned off as soon as I've done. [Aside, Car. What's that you murmur ? Lop' Nothing but a short prayer. Car- I am distracted, and fright the wretch from telling me what I am upon the rack to know. [Aside.] Forgive me, Lopez ; I am to blame to speak thus harshly to thee. Let this obtain my pardon- [Giving him money.] Thou seest I am disturbed. Lop' Yes, Sir, I see 1 have been led into a snare ; I have said too much- Car- And yet thou must say more ; nothing can lesson my torment but a farther knowledge of what causes my misery. Speak then, have 1 any thing to hope ? Lop. Nothing, but that you may be a happier batche- lor, than my master may probably be a married man. Car, Married, say'stthou ? Lop' I did. Sir, and I believe he'll say so too in a twelvemonth. Car. Oh, torment ! — But give me more on't ; when, how, to whom, where ? Lop. Yesterday, to Leonara, by the parson, in the pantry. Car. Look to't, if this be false, thy life shall pay the torment thou hast given me- Begone ! Lop. With the body and the soul o' me. [Exit. l. h-] San Base news, master. Car. Now my insulting rival's smile speaks out- Oh, cursed, cursed, woman ! LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAN. 1 1 E7iter Jacinta. r. h. Jacin. Vm come ip haste to tell you, Sir, that as soon as the moon's up, my lady will give you a meet- ing in the close walk by the back-door of the garden ; she thinks she has something to propose to you will certainly get her father's consent to marry you* Car. Past sufferance ! this aggravation is not to be borne. Go, thank her — with my curses — Fly — and let them blast her while their venom's strong. [Exit, L. H.] Jacin Won't thou explain ? What's this storm for ; San. And dars't thou ask me questions, smooth- fac'd iniquity, crocodile of Nile, syren of the rocks ? Go, carry back the too gentle answer thou hast re- ceived ; only let me add with the poet : We are no fools, trollop, my master nor me ; And thy mistress may go — to the devil with thee- [Exit L. H.] Jacin, Am I awake? — I fancy not* A very idle dream this. Well, I'll go talk in my sleep to my la- dy about it ? and when I awake, we'll try what in- terpretation we can make on't [Exit r. h SCENE II. A Chamber. Enter Leonora and Jacinta r. h. Jaein. You see me as much enraged at it as you are yourself, yet my brain is roving after the cause, for something there must be ; never letter was receiv- ed by man with more passion and transport ; I was almost as charming a goddess as yourself, only for bringing it. Yet, when in a moment after I came with a message worth a dozen on't, never was witch 12 lovers' quarrels ; or, so handled : something must have passed between one and t'other, that's sure- Leo- Nothing could pass worth my enquiring af- ter, since nothing could happen that can excuse hia usage of me ; he had a letter under my hand which owned him master of my heart ; and till I contradict- ed it with my mouth, he ought not to doubt the truth on't. Jacin. Nay, I confess, Madam, I han't a word to say for him. I'm afraid he's but a rogiie at bottom, as well as my Shameless that attends him ; we are bit by my troth, and haply well enough served, for listening to the glib tongues of the rascals ; but be comforted. Madam ; they'll fall into the hands of some foul sluts or other, before they die, that will set our account even with 'em. Leo. Well, let him laugh ; let him glory in what be has done : he shall see I have a spirit can use him as I ought- Jacin. And let one thing be your comfort, by the w^ay. Madam, that in spite of all your dear affections to him, you have had the grace to keep him at arm's end. You han't thanked me for't; but good faith 'twas well I did not stir out of the chamber that fond night For there are times the stoutest of us are in danger, the rascals wheedle so, Leo. In short my very soul is fired with this treat- ment ; and if ever that perfidious monster should re- lent, though he would crawl like a poor worm beneath my feet, nay, plunge a dagger in his heart, to bleed for pardon : I charge thee strictly, charge thee on thy life, thou do not urge a look to melt me toward him, but strongly buoy me up in brave resentment ; and if thou see'st (which heaven avert) a glance of LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAN". 13 weakness in me, rouze to my memory the vile wrongs I've borne, and blazon 'em with skill in all their glar- log colours. Jacin. Madam, never doubt me ; I am charged to the mouth with fury, and if ever I meet that fat trai- tor of mine, such a volley will I pour about his ears — - Now heaven prevent all hasty vows ; but in the hu- mour I am, methinks I'd die unmarried before I'd sim^ per at the rascal. [Exeunt r. h.] SCENE in. ^ Street. Enter Von CARhos and Sancho, r. h. Car, Repulsed again ! This is not to be borne. What though this villian's story be a falsehood, was I to blame to hearken to it ? How was it she treated tbee? San. Never was embassador worse received. Madam, my master asks ten thousand pardons, and humbly begs one moment's interview : Be gone, you ras- cal, you. Madam, what answer shall I give my mas- ter ? Tell him he's a villian. Indeed, fair lady, I think this is hasty treatment Here, my foot- man, toss me this fellow out at the window ; and away she went to her devotions. Car. Did you see Jacinta ? San. Yes ; she saluted me with half-a-score rop:ues and rascals, too. I think our destinies are much alike. Sir : and 'o my conscience, a couple of scurvy jades we are hampered with. Car. Ungrateful woman, to receive with such con- tempt so quick a return of a heart so justly alarm'd. San. Ha, ha, ha! Car. Wliat, no allowance to be made to the first B 14 lovers' quarrels ; OR3 transports of a lover's fury. As just as my suspicions were, have I long suffer'd them to arraign her ? San. No. Car. Have I waited for oaths or imprecations to clear her ? San, No. Car. Nay, even now, is not the whole world still in suspence about her, whilst I alone conclude her in- nocent ? San. "Tis very true. Car. She might, methinks, through this profoun<| respect, observe a llame another would have cherish- ed ; she might support me against groundless fears, and save me from a rival's tyranny ; she might release me from these cruel racks, and would, no doubt, if she could love as I do. San. I am sure. Car, But since she don't, what do I do whining here ? Curse on the base humilities of love ! San. Right. Car. Let children kiss the rod that flays them ; let dogs lie down and lick the shoe that spurns them- San, Ay. Car. I am a man, by nature meant for power ; the sceptre's given us to wield, and we betray our trust whenever we meanly lay it at a woman's feet. San. True, we are men ; boo !— Come, master, let us both be in a passion ; here's my sceptre. Shew- ing a cudgel] Subject Jacinta, look about you. Sir, was you ever in Muscovy ? The women there love the men dearly. Why ? Because [Shaking kh- stick.] There's your love-powder for you. Ah, Sir, were we but wise and stout, what work should we make with them I But this humble love-making spoili^ LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAN. 15 (hem all, A rare way indeed to bring matters about with them ! we are persuading them all day they are angels and goddesses, in order to use them at night like human creatures. We are like to succeed, truly. Car. For my part, I never yet could bear a sight from any thing, nor will I now. There's but one way, however, to resent it from a woman, and that's to drive her bravely from your heart, and place a worthier in her vacant throne. San. Now, with submission to my betters, I have another way, Sir ; I'll drive my tyrant from my heart, and place myself on her throne. Yes; I will be lord of my own tenement, and keep my household ia order. Would you would do so too, master ; for look you, I have been servitor in a college at Salamanca, and read philosophy with the doctors ; where I found, that a woman, in all times, has been observed to be an animal hard to understand, and much inclined to mischief. Now as an animal is always an arjimal, and a captain always a captain, so a woman is al- ways a woman ; whence it is, that a certain Greek says, her head is like a bank of sand; or, as another, a solid rock ; or, according to a third, a dark lanthorn. Pray, Sir, observe, for this is close reasoning ; and so as the head is the head of the body ; and that the bo- dy without a head, is like a head without a tail ; and that where there is neither head nor tail, 'tis a very strange body ; so I say, a woman is by comparison, do you see, (for nothing explains things like compari- sons) I say by comparison, as Aristotle has often said before me, one may compare her to tli« raging sea ; for, as the sea, when the wind rises, knits its brow like an angry bull, and that waves mount up- on rocks, and rocks mount upon waves ; that porpoi- 16 lovers' QUARRELS ; OR, ses leap like trouts, and whales skip about like gud- geons ; that ships roll like beer-barrels, and mariners pray like saints ; just so, I say, a woman — a woman, I say, just so, when her reason is ship-wrecked upon her passion, and the hulk of her understanding lies (humping against the rock of her fury; then it is, I say, that by certain immotions, which — um cause, as one may suppose, a sort of convulsive — yes — hur- ricanious — um — like in short, a woman is like the devil, Sir. Car. Admirably reasoned indeed, Sancho. San. Pretty well, 1 thank heaven ; but here come the crocodiles to weep us into mercy. Enter Leonora and Jacinta. r. h. Master let us shew ourselves men, and leave their briny tears to wash their dirty faces. Car. It is not in the power of charms to move me. San. Nor me, I hope ; and yet I fear those eyes will look out sharp to snatch up such a prize. [Pointing to Jacinta.] Jacin, He's coming to us, Madam, to beg pardon ; but sure you'll never grant it him ? Leo. If I do, may Heaven ne'er grant me mine. Jacin. That's brave. Car. You look, Madam, upon me, as if you thought I came to trouble you with my usual importunities ; I'll ease you of that pain, by telling you, my business now is calmly to assure you, but I assure it you with heaven and hell for seconds ; for may the joys of one fly from me, whilst the pains of t'other overtake me, if all your charms displayed e'er shake my resolution ; I'll never see you more. San. Bon. T.IKE MASTER, LIKE MAN. 17 liOu. You are a man of that nice honour, Sir, I know you'll keep your word ; I expected this assur- ance from you, and came this way only to thank you for't. Jacin. Very well. Car. You did, imperious dame, you did ! " How *' base is woman's pride ? How wretched are the in- " gredients it is formed of. If you saw cause for *' just disdain, why did you not at first repulse me ? " Why lead a slave in chains, that could not grace *' your triumphs." If 1 am thus to be contemned, think on the favours you have done the wretch, and hide your face forever. San. Well argued. Leo. I own you have hit the only fault the world s can charge me with : the favours I have done to you, I am indeed ashamed of ; but since women have their frailties, you'll allow me mine. Car. 'Tis well, extremely well, Madam; I'm hap- py, however, you at last speak frankly ; I thank you for it ; from my soul I thank you ; but don't expect me groveling at your feet again ; don't for if I do Leo. You'll be treated as you deserve ; trod upon. Car. Give me patience ; — but I don't want it; I am calm ; Madam, farewell ; be happy, if you can ; by heavens, 1 wish you so ; but never spread your Bet for me again ; for if you do Leo. You'll be running into it. Car. Rather run headlong into fire and flames ; rather be torn with pincers bit from bit; rather be broiled like martyrs upon gridirons But I am wrong ; this sounds like passion, and Heaven can tell 1 am not angry. Madam, 1 think we have no farther business together ; your most humble servant. B 2 1 8 lovers' quarrels ; or, Leo. Farewell fye, Sir. Car. Come along. [To Sanclio. Exit l. h. and re- turns.] Yet once more before I go (lest you should doubt my resolution) may I starve, perish, if I, from this moment, change one word or look with you. [Exeunt Carlos, l. h . Sancho clajjs him on the back.] Leo. Content. Come away, Jacinta. [Exeunt r. h. Carlos returns. Car, Yet one word, Madam, if you please ; I have a little thing here belongs to you, a foolish bau- ble I once was fond of. [Twitching her picture from his breast.] Will you accept a trifle from your ser- vant ? Leo. Willingly, Sir ; I have a bauble, too, I think you have some claim to ; you'll wear it for my sake. [Breaks a bracelet from her arm, and gives it him.} Car. Most thankfully ; this too I should restore you, it once was yours [Giving her a table-book.] I think you did me once the honour to write with your own fair hand. Here it is. [Reads, You love me, Carlos, and would know The secret movements of my heart ; Whether I give you mine or no, With yours methinks, I'd never, never part. Thus you have encouraged me, and thus you have deceived me. San. Very true. Leo, I have some faithful lines, too ; I think I can produce them. [Pulls out a table-book ; reads, and then gives it him.} How long soe'er, to sigh in vain. My destiny may prove.. LIKE PIASTER, LIKE MAN. 19 My fate (in spite of your disdain) Will let me glory in your chain, And give me leave eternally to love. There, Sir, take your poetry again. [Throwing it at his feet] 'Tis not much the worse for my wearing; 'twill serve again upon a fresh occasion. Jacin. Well done. Car. I believe I can return the present. Madam, with a pocket full of your prose There [Throwing a handful of letters at her feet.] Leo. Jacinta, give me his letters. There, Sir, not to be behind-hand with you. [Takes a handful of his letters out of a box, and throws them in his face.] Jacin. And there, and there, and there. Sir. [Jacinta throws the rest at him.] San. 'Ods my life, we want ammunition ; but for a shift There, and there, you saucy slut, you. [Sancwo pulls a pack of dirty cards out of his pocket, and throws them at her.] .Jacin. I think, Madam, we have clearly the better on't. Leo. For a proof, I resolve to keep the field. Jacin. Have a care he don't rally, and beat you yet, though. Pray, walk off. Leo. Fear nothing. San. How the armies stand and gaze at one another after the battle! What think you, Sir, of shewing yourself a great general, by making an honourable re- treat ? Car. I scorn it. Oh, Leonora ! Leonora ! A heaft Tike mine should not be treated thus. 20 lovers' quarrels ; or, Leo. Carlos ! Carlos ! I have not deserved this usage. Car, " Barbarous Leonora ! but 'tis useless to re- ^* ppoach you ; she that is capable of what you have " done, is formed too cruel ever to repent of it. Go ** on, then, tyrant ; make your bliss complete ; tor- " ment me still, for still, alas ! I love enough to be " tormented." Leo. " Ah, Carlos! little do you know the tender *' movements of that thing you name : the heart where " love presides, admits no thought against the hon- " our of its ruler." Car. " 'Tis not to call that honour into doubt, if, " conscious of our own unworthiness, we interpret " every frown to our own destruction." Leo. " When jealousy proceeds from such humble " apprehensions, it shews itself with more respect •* than yours has done.'* Car. " And where a heart is guiltless; it easily " forgives a greater crime." Leo. ** Forgiveness is not now in our debate ; if " both have been in fault, 'tis fit that both should ^* suffer for it; our separation will do justice on us." Car. But since we are ourselves the judgts of our crimes, what if we should inflict a gentler punish- ment ? Leo. 'T would but encourage us to sin again. Car. And if it should Leo. 'Twould give a fresh occasion for the pleas- ing exercise of mercy. Car. Right ; and so we act the part of earth and heaven together, of men and gods, and taste of both their pleasures. Leo. The banquet's loo inviting to refuse it. LIKE MASTER, LIKE MAW. 21 Car. Then thus let us fall on, and feed upon it for ever. [Carries her off, embracing her, and kissing her hand r. h.] Jacin. Ah, woman I foolish, foolish woman ! San. Very foolish, indeed. Jacin. But don't expect I'll follow her example. San. You would, Mopsy, if I'd let you. Jacin. I'd sooner tear my eyes out ! Ah that she had a little of my spirit in her. Sa7t. I believe I shall find thou hast a great deal of her flesh, my charmer? but 'twon't do ; I am all rock, hard rock, very marble. Jacin. A very pumice-stone, you rascal, you, if one would try thee ; but to prevent thy humilities, and shew thee all submission would be vain, to con- vince thee thou hast nothing but misery, and despair before thee, here — take back thy paltry thimble, and be in my debt, for the shirts I have made thee with it. San. Nay, if y'are at that sport, mislress, I believe I shall lose nothing by the balance of thy present. There, take thy tobacco-box, 'twill serve to give to another. Jacin. Here take thy sattin pincushion, with thy curious half hundred of pins in it, thou mad'st such a vapouring about yesterday. Tell them carefully ; there's not one wanting. San. There's thy ivory-hafted knife again ; whet it well ; 'tis so blunt 'twill cut nothino- but love. Jacin. And there's thy pretty pocket scissors thou hastjhonoured me with : they'll cut off a leg or an arm, heaven bless them* San. Here's the enchanted handkerchief you were pleased to endear with your precious blood, when the 22 LOVERS' QUARRELS, violence of your love at dinner t'other day, made your nose bleed— There [Blows his nose in it, and gives it to her.^ Jacin. The rascal so provoJies me, I won't even keep his paltry garters from him. Do you see these, you pitiful, beggarly scoundrel you ? — There, take 'em — there. [She throws the garters at himJ] ISan. I have but one thing more of thine. [Shewirig his cudgel.] I own 'tis the top of all thy presents, and might be useful to me ; but that thou may'st have no- thing to upbraid me with, e'en take it again with the rest of them. [Lifting it up to strike her, she leaps about his neck. Jacin. Ah, cruel Sancho ! — Now beat me, Sancho, do. San. Rather, like Indian beggars, beat my precious self. [Throws away his stick, and embraces her.] Rather let infants' blood about the streets, Rather let all the wine about the cellar. Rather let Oh, Jacinta, thou has't o'ercome ! How foolish are the great resolves of man ! Resolves which we neither would keep, nor can. When those bright eyes in kindness please to shine, Their goodness I must needs return with mine ; Bless my Jacinta in her Sancho's arms-^ — Jacin, And I my Sancho with Jacinta's charms. [Exeunt, r. h.] LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 014 388 107 HoUinger Corp. pH8.5