- -^ ^ • " - ' . -^' ' 
 
 Dat Famous 
 Chicken Debate 
 
 BY 
 
 WALTER S. LONG. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS 
 
 Eldridge Entertainment House 
 
 Franklin, Ohio 
 
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 ILDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 
 
 Franklin, Ohio 
 
DatFamousChickenDebate 
 
 By WALTER S. LONG. 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY OF AFRICA (Aff.) 
 vs. 
 BOOKERTEA COLLEGE (Neg.) 
 
 Copyright, 1915. Eldridge Entertainment House. 
 
 Eldridge Entertainment House. 
 
 FRANKLIN. OHIO. 
 
^'^^\ z^"" 
 
 1^\^ 
 
 QUESTION:— "Resolved, That Stealing Chickens 
 Aint No Crime. " 
 
 DEBATERS: 
 Affirmative Negative 
 
 Rufus Rastus Johnsing Hezakiah Gitdar 
 
 Nebuchadneazer Jones Ephram Pullemdown 
 
 OFFICERS: 
 President— Prof. Snowball White. 
 
 Vice-Presidents \ g^" I^.^ngdong Ringer. 
 ^ jjg^ Longtime Holdem 
 
 JUDGES: 
 (Names of local persons acting as Judges) 
 
 TIME: 
 (Date and hour of Entertainment) 
 
 PLACE: 
 (Place of Entertainment. ) 
 
 jaO 4258S 
 
Dat Famous Chicken Debate. 
 
 This darkey debate may be made a very funny 
 number on your program. The stage setting is left 
 to the director. Where stage facihties are available 
 all the humorous settings of a darky clubroom may 
 be used, or it may be given on the bare school plat- 
 form. 
 
 The costumes of the debaters, the judges and 
 others may be as funny and as ragged as desired. A 
 table with a large v^hite pitcher of water and a 
 drinking glass should occupy the center of the stage. 
 
 The conclusion of the debate is also left to the 
 director. Confusion may close the sketch with a gen- 
 eral mix-up, if used on a minstrel program, or the 
 judges may decide the question and award a verdict 
 if given on a school platform, .^f ter which all may 
 rise and file out. 
 
 President's Speech. 
 
 Ladies an^ Gentlemen:— 
 
 You hab assembled ter hear a very important de- 
 bate betwixt de Univerisity of Africa on de Firma- 
 tive an world renowned Bookertea College on de Neg- 
 ative. De question is: '^Resolved;— DatSteahn Chick- 
 ens aint no Crime." 
 
 De gentlemen what will representation dese fa- 
 mous colleges is: Fur de Firmative, Mr. Rufus Rastus 
 Johnsing an Mr. Nebucadneazer Jones. Fur ne Neg- 
 ative, dar is Mr. Ephraim Ezra Pullemdown and Mr. 
 Hezekiah Jonah Gitdar. A prize fur de bes speaker 
 will be awarded by Mr. 
 
 President We will now hab de f us speaker fur 
 de Firmative. 
 
First Speech For The Affirmative; 
 
 Mr. President, Dishonorable Jedges, Gents and Wo- 
 menfolks: 
 
 De question fur debate have done been resolved 
 dat it haint no crime ter steal chickens. An since dis 
 resolution am satisfactory ter all, der seems ter be no 
 use fer me ter make a speech. But use or no use, I 
 has some pussonal feelings in dis matter, an I v^ants 
 ter spress ter yall my great reguard for de subject 
 ob chicken, an I wants ter scuse myself an all ob my 
 brethern frum eben de bery pearance ob any crime. 
 
 Mr. Fresidenty in de beginning dere was chicken. 
 An close ter de beginning dere was niggers. But de 
 Good Book say in de fourteenth chapter ob de Book 
 ob Jenny's sister dat at fust dere was no sin nor 
 crime in de world. Now I leaves it ter you, Mr. 
 President, dose you spose, datef stealin chickens wuz 
 a crime, dat dose niggars would hab lived all dat 
 time widout crime right dere in de sight of Marse 
 Adam's new Hinhouse? No, suh, take it frum me, 
 dose chickens wuz stole. But it wuz apples dot brung 
 sin into de world, not chicken. De Bible don't even 
 mention who stole de chickens. 
 
 Now Mr. President, in order ter expounder more 
 plainer de truth ob de above resolution let me lay 
 down de proper meanin ob crime. Mr. Webster he 
 lows as how crime it am a violation ob de law. An 
 my honry enemy ober dar he will say dat de laws ob 
 de Uninety States specially mentions chicken. But I 
 axes yall ter think who made dose laws, did de niggers 
 make dem? Not much. Dey wuz made by de white 
 folks, — cause dey owns de chickens. Now mus de 
 nigger be sponsible fer de white folks mistakes? Who- 
 ever hearn tell ob niggers making laws gainst de 
 stealin ob chickens. I defies both ob you Africans 
 ober dar ter show dese gemmensone single law gainst 
 de stealin ob chickens what a black man hab made. 
 Now yall admits dat Marse Lincoln hab done made de 
 niggers a free an indepennent people. Marse Wood- 
 row's new book on Scientific Government say dat a 
 
free an indepennent people can only be ruled by laws 
 wat dey makes fer deyselves. Now St. Matthew says 
 in de Actions ob de Postles as how dere caint be no 
 crime widout a law. Now ef de niggers am a free an 
 indepennent people, an ef a free an indepennent peo- 
 ple can only be ruled by laws what dey make fur 
 deyselves, den de white folks laws dey don't ply ter 
 de niggers, an since dere caint be crime widout a law, 
 an since de niggers neber has made no laws gainst de 
 stealin ob chickens. I maintains dat it aint no crime 
 ter steal chickens, an I axes yall ter considerate care- 
 fully on de bove argument, an' dont pay no tention 
 ter dose other niggers cause dey hab done gone back 
 on dere color. 
 
 Yall mus agree wid me dat a black man widout 
 chicken am a lonesome black man. Now who wants 
 ter be lonesome? An ef de nigger laks de rooster's 
 company, jest pines fur it so to speak, it suttinly aint 
 no crime ter be sociable. You gemmen ober dar,jest 
 think how long de cullud race groaned in bondage lak 
 de Hebrews obold,sarving de white man, an I swars to 
 you dat dey hab not been paid fur all datwuk,no dey 
 hab not. From de time de niggers follow^ed Marse 
 Abe fru de blood red sea of wah into de new Canaan 
 ob freedom, de white man only pays us by de day fur 
 wuk we does in de day. Now why caint w^e collect 
 interest on dat ole account at night? Why not, I say? 
 We raise de white man's cotton an corn an baccer. 
 Now let de white man raise our chickens. An den 
 when de lubly night comes down de nigger kin go an 
 claim his own, cause de blackness ob de night jest 
 matches de color ob his skin. Yas suh, dat are why 
 our skin are black. An de Law^d he wudden make de 
 nigger's skin black ter help him commit a crime. An 
 now Dishonorable Jedges, I'se done spressed ter you 
 my great reguard fer de subject ob chicken, an I has 
 done tried to scuse yall frum de pearance ob crime. 
 My hon'ry complice will finish fur de firmative, an ef 
 he fails ter do it both in sperit an in truth, he haint 
 no loyal son ob Ham. 
 
 President We will now hab de fus speaker fur 
 de Negative. 
 
First Speech On The Negative. 
 
 Ladies and Gemmens, Most Worthy Jedges, an You 
 too, Mr, President: 
 
 I has listened ter dat black man until my face 
 hab done grew red lak de insides ob a watermillion, 
 blushin fur shame. I has done heard him sinuation 
 dat all niggars steals chickens an den take up fur 
 dem cause he hab done stole chickens hisself. I doesnt 
 believe dat all niggars steals chickens. An ef some 
 niggers does steal chickens some time, dose niggers 
 aint civilized, dey aint fittem ter pattern after, an de 
 civilized cuUud gemmens should jest sider dem as de 
 black sheep ob der flock. Look at Mr. Booker Wash- 
 ington, do he steal chickens? No suh, he do not. He 
 cud sleep all night in a hinhouse on de night befo 
 Protracted meetin an not eben dream of a potpie 
 cause de words of de Good Book hab done come ter 
 pass, an de lion am jest boun ter lie down wid de lam. 
 
 My hon'ry enemy ober dar he say as how dat 
 stealin chickens aren't gainst no law what de black 
 man hab made, an I wishes ter remin yall of de law 
 ob Gawd which Moses foundered on de limestone 
 tables in ole Pharo's kitchen. I reference yall ter de 
 twelve Commandments. An one ob dem it say pint- 
 edly, *Ter mussent steal.'' Now I lows as how 
 stealins stealin, no matter what is stole, an I blieves 
 dat de twelve commandments plies jest as much ter 
 de black man as dey do ter de white. Color wont 
 make no difference when de great day comes, an color 
 don't make no difference now. An agen de Bible it 
 say as how yer mus lay aside yer favorite sin. Now 
 ef stealin chickens aint de niggers favorite sin I jes 
 wants ter know what is. Dar Mr. Fresident are de 
 law whar say, '*Leave dat fowl alone.' An ef de 
 nigger misobey dat law he am guilty ob crime. 
 
 It grieves me down in de bottom ob my boots ter 
 see de carelessness. ob you niggers about chicken. De 
 great monstrous need ob de black man of today are 
 selfrespect. But yer caint find no selfrespect in no 
 hinhouse. De niggers what steals chickens don't re- 
 
spect deyselves, den how come dey think de white 
 folks is gwine ter respect dem. An ef de white folks 
 don't respect dem, de nigger mus suffer cordingly. 
 He mus see all de easy jobs go ter de white folks as 
 don't steal no chickens. Dose you spose any black 
 African what steals chickens cud ever be President 
 ob dese Unitety States? Jest imagination de Secre- 
 tary ob de Treasury sneakin roun a hinhouse at night. 
 How long wud he hold his job? An dey aint one single 
 nigger in dis house what wuddent lak ter be Secre- 
 tary ob de Treasury or President ob de Unitety 
 States. Yet my poneats talk about srealin chickens 
 lak it are de only thing ter be did. 
 
 Dese am my arguments Mr. Fresident. It am 
 against de law ter steal, an when chickens are stole a 
 crime hab done been committed. Stealin chickens 
 also hold back de spiritual uplift ob de race, an there- 
 fore I resists befo all ob de world dat stealin chickens 
 am a crime. 
 
 President, We will now hab de second speaker 
 fur de Firmative. 
 
 Second Speech On The Affirmative. 
 
 Mr. President, Noble Jedges, Ladies, and Menfolks: 
 
 My honry complice have done sot dis question so 
 clearly befo yall dat I doesnt see much lef fur me ter 
 say. But I too has a pussonal feelin an reguard fer 
 chicken, an my heart am so full ob luv fur de rooster s 
 tender flesh dat I is jest boun ter argufy dis question 
 also too. 
 
 My honry enemy what hab jest receded me tole 
 bout de trouble whar chicken hab gave ter de nig- 
 gers. An ef men war ter beheve all he say de bery 
 name ef chicken wad be evil. But de Bible it say as 
 how money am de root ob all evil, an as roots is so 
 am de branches bliged ter be. Therefore, I say dat 
 chicken it aint even a leaf on de tree ob evil, an ef it 
 aint evil it mus be good. 
 
 Honry Jedges, de above argument it proves as 
 how dere caint be no evil connected wid chicken. But 
 
r also wants ter call yer attention lev another argu- 
 ment. Mr, Gladstone he say as how de means by which 
 we does any thing may be justified by de end in view. 
 Now let's take stealin chickens as de means, an a big- 
 fat juicy rooster as de end in view— (wait a minnit 
 niggers, dont git cited yit.) Now jest imagination a 
 nigger on dat rooster's trail. He done heerd him crow- 
 ing all day long an when de night gits dark an de al- 
 manac it say dat de moon aint gwine ter shine. See 
 dat nigger sneak down thru de orchard — dim de 
 guarden fence, den crawl down ter de hinhouse, aa 
 jest kinder vanish lak in de do. Tell me about yer 
 citement, dat are citement Mr. Rooster he kinder 
 turn he hade ter one side, an de next minnit he done 
 drap in de bag. Now my friens, jest magination dat 
 nigger goin home. Dat rooster seem lak he already in 
 de pot. Crime or no crime, dat nigger are happy, an 
 de Bible it say as how only good people can be happy. 
 Honry Jedges, talking bout yer end in view, 
 think about dat rooster. What kinder end does yer 
 want ef dat aint all right. Justify de means, well I 
 guess it do. Think ob dat potpie, wid white meat and 
 dark meat all mixed up lak white an black ice cream 
 —an dontfergit de gravy. Den de nigger clean loses 
 sight ob Christmas an payday, and he lets de singin 
 ob de angels jine in wid de music ob his soul. An his 
 cabin it shines lak de palace ob a king. An his face 
 it are all lit up lak a lectric signboard. Dat am one 
 more happy nigger in dis world. An all on count ob 
 dat rooster. Mr. President, dat fowl are de grandest 
 meat in de world. De rooster he am king ob all de 
 birds. Even St. Peter got skeered when de rooster 
 crowed. Look at Nebuchadneazer, he didn't hab no 
 chicken so he went out and et grass. De tower ob 
 Babylon it didn't hab no chicken so it fell. Greece 
 didn't hab no chicken so it fell. Rome didn't hab no 
 chicken an it fell. Lakwise I say suh, when de nigger 
 tries ter do widout chicken he am boun ter fall, shos 
 you bawn. 
 
 Everybody knows dat de nigger caint raise no 
 chicken. Den hows he gwine ter git dem ef not at 
 night? Yit my honry enemy he say as how dat am a 
 crime. But de Bible it say as how self reservation it 
 
:am de fust law ob Nature. An so ef he caint raise no 
 chicken, den fur dese chickens ter be got, dey mus be 
 :stole. An therefore, steaHn chickens am jest obeying 
 •de fust law ob Nature, an I defies my opponents ter 
 prove dat it can be a crime. Why twould be lak spit- 
 ting in de face ob Frowidence ter misobey a law ob 
 Nature, specially de fust one. In cose it aint no crime. 
 Dese, Mr. President, is de arguments what we 
 wishes ter per sent. An fer fear dat yall may lose 
 sight a some ob dem, let me summarization dem all 
 thusly: Fust de Bible proves dat it aint no crime ter 
 steal chickens, cause chickens wuz stole befo crime 
 come into de world. Moren dat, stealin chickens arent 
 included in de meanin ob crime under de law. An 
 lastly on top ob dat, stealin chickens are jest collect- 
 ing interest on what de white man owes us, jest lak 
 he collects hissn. An on top ob dat yit, stealin chick- 
 ens are a means dat am justified by de end in View. 
 
 . President, We wuli now hab de second speaker 
 fur de Negative, 
 
 Second Speech For The Negative. 
 
 Mr. President, Honry Jedges, Niggers, an' White 
 Folks: 
 
 My pardner have done tole you about de crime 
 ob stealin chickens, an now, I wants ter cap his clim- 
 ax by expoundering de abstruse an awful punishment 
 what mus transpire when de niggers las chicken am 
 stole an de crowin ob deceased roosters welcome 
 him into dat dreary realum ob everlasting night. I 
 plants my text upon dat good ole proverb, '*Ye mus 
 not steaF' No matter bout dem laws what de white 
 man hab made, dis am de law ob Gawd. An when 
 Moses nounced it ter de Chillun ob Egypt, he pinted 
 ter de niggers wid his lef han an ter a rooster wid his 
 right, an in dese words did he den thusly prophesy: 
 'In fourteen-hundred-an frez-ler-death de tribe ob 
 Columbus shall Ian on a undiscovered country an hab 
 niggers ter do de wuk. Now by an by de niggers will 
 want pay fer all dese services what dey mus surrend- 
 
er, an den look out fer de henhouse. Now Hsten ter 
 niy words ob wisdom. Behold, I say, leave dat bird 
 alone: Eben as de sarpent war de downfall ob Eve,, 
 so will de rooster be de downfall ob Ham/' 
 
 Everybody knows dat de nigger am descended 
 from Ham. Yit de no count niggers ob dis day an 
 time dey dont care nothing tall bout Ham. Dat are 
 why dey are ter be punished. Leave dat fowl alone I 
 say an turn yer thoughts ter ham. Dat are de only 
 way dat de culled folks can turn aside de awful pun- 
 ishment dat am waitin fer dere race, eben as de angel 
 ob de Lawd waited fer Balaam in de straight an nar- 
 row way. Look out niggers dit sword am boun ter 
 fall, an mark my words twill mow you down lak corn 
 befo de knife. Dat are de day when de earth shall 
 ring wid wailin an de nashing ob dentristry an all de 
 niggers will be moanin fer demselves. An above de 
 noise ob weepin an respair will be heered de rooster's 
 voice a crowin in de mawning. He say, '*Break dat 
 nigger's neck.'' I tell you now my frens, yer mus 
 leave dat fowl alone or he gwine ter hab his veange- 
 ance on yer shows yor bawn. 
 
 Stealin chickens are a crime Mr. President. Dose 
 chickens dont long ter no niggers, an anybody what 
 takes whoever dont long ter dem steals. De fifteenth 
 Proverb it say as how 'Temus not steal" an dat 
 means de black man. Now whoever break one ob 
 dese Proverb have showly committed a criminal act, 
 an Mr. Graystone he say dat all criminal acts is 
 crimes, an therefore thus all dem niggers what steals 
 chickens suttinly does commit crime. Dishonorable 
 Jedges, I beseeches you on my bended marrowbones 
 not ter pass lightly cross dis hyar Rrgument De 
 whole future verdiction ob de culled race are respond- 
 ed in de atmosphere waitin fur yer verdiction. Nig- 
 gers what dont steal chickens now will be excouraged 
 ter begin, an dem what does will be excouraged ter 
 keep on. On yer solemn desideration an wise inclu- 
 sions respends de new exterpation of crime, an on dis 
 respends de nightly safety and de eternal an ever- 
 lastin wellfare ob millions an millions ob chickens yit 
 unhatched. Ponderate on dese infatuations an yer 
 mus showly aggravate dat stealin chickens are a un- 
 tarnished crime. 
 
The Woodman Plays for Schools and Colleges 
 
 are popular because they are 
 
 Clean, Clever and Wholesome. 
 
 We give them special mention because of their worth. For 
 Commencements, Class Night, etc., we know of nothing 
 better. See complete list elsewhere in this catalog. 
 
 The Tibhals Monologs Have Made Good. 
 
 The need for bright, comedy monologs is supplied by these. 
 Not the silly talk you usually hear but the snappy stuff that 
 gets the laugh in the vaudeville theatres of the big circuits. 
 Just the thing for your minstrel show and a welcome relief 
 for the amateur monologist upon any occasion. Here is the list: 
 
 Have Y:u Ever Noticed That? A tramp monolog. A good number for 
 a tramp act in your olio. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 Izzy's Troubles. A characteristic monolog. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 Under the Pretzel Bough. A Dutch monolog, the speaker imperson- 
 ating a baker. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 Waiting for the Alabama Lou. A darky talking act. The speaker 
 being a deck-hand on a Mississippi river boat. Price 15 cents, 
 
 Be Kesrful, SI. A rube monolog that is funny without giving 
 offense. Price, 15 cents. 
 
 In Dixie Land. 
 
 A musical comedy in one act for any number of male char- 
 acters. Time 40 minutes* Garden scene. Splendidly adapted 
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 Price, 25 cents. 
 
TWO PLAYS FOR BOYS 
 
 By SEYMOUR S. TIBBALS. 
 
 Mr. Tibbals has been unusually successful in fur- 
 nishing boys' plays that introduce characters true to 
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 lessons they teach, clean comedy predominates and 
 the bovs like them. 
 
 ''The Millionaire Janitor 
 
 99 
 
 A comedy in two acts. Here is a rollicking play 
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 the thing for a Boys' Class or Junior Y. M. C. A. 
 Easily staged and costumed. . Opportunity for intro- 
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 Price 25 Cents 
 
 "Up Caesar's Creek*' 
 
 A splendid play for any number of boys. The 
 characters are real boys and the play deals with their 
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 Price 25 Cents 
 
 These comedies are protected by copyright, but 
 permission for amateur production is granted with 
 the purchase of the book. 
 
 ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 
 
 Franklin, Ohio 
 
 95 
 

 RELEASED FOR AMATEUR PRODUCnON. 
 
 'The Utile PoBtieian" 
 
 Br SEYMOUR S. TIBBALS 
 
 A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 
 
 SEVEN MALES AND THREE FEMALES 
 
 /^ITHIS play was produced professionally 
 ^^ for several seasons under another title, 
 and is now released for amateur production 
 without royalty and without restrictions 
 of any kind. The scenery and costumes 
 are simple. Time, about two hours. A 
 young society girl plays an important part 
 in overthrowing a corrupt political boss 
 and brings about the election of her 
 fiance. The race for the hand of a 
 wealthy widow by rival suitors furnishes 
 the comedy. A pretty story is unfolded, 
 but without actual love-making or any 
 scenes objectionable to the amateur. 
 Recommended for high schools and dra- 
 matic clubs. 
 
 jEff* the ^rden party in the second act affords 
 opportunity for the introduction of any number of 
 characters. 
 
 PRICE, 2S CEXTS 
 
 Sent Postpaid m Receipt ef Price by the 
 
 ELDRIDGE ENTERTAIMENT HOUSE 
 
 Franklin, Ohio 
 
MMiiimimiii 
 
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