I \M< . L ^ \1 Cop}Tigh( X^_ COPYRIGHT DKPOSIT. Clje 3tetDt0 Carroll Birtl)tsap Booft LEWIS CARROLL. On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment-scroU and read as follows ; — wr^^^m^m^ THE LEWIS CARROLL BIRTHDAY BOOK SELECTED BY . CHRISTINE TERHUNE HERRICK (Xc. NEW YORK Si. Witisi0tl& 6i Company Copyright, 1905, hy A. Wessels & Company LIBRARY Of CONGRESS Two Copies Received NOV 29 1905 ^ Cojjyri^ht Entry U^CAy. X9. /9cfS' CLASS a. XXc, No. / 5 ^^7 7 COPY 8. PRESS BRAUNWORTH BOOKBINDERS ANC BROOKLYN, F & CO. PRINTERS N. Y. iFlotoer FOR 3fanuarp — Orchid ipcliruarp— Violet ^arc|) — Tulip april — Musk ^ap — Sweet Pea 3fune — Lilies Ifulg — The Rose August — Gardenia ^September — Golden Rod SDctofaf r — Carnation /ISobember — Clover fDetemhtt — White Rose 3lanuatg — 1 — "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means ]ust what I choose it to mean, — neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master, — that's all." "You are old, Father William," the young man said, " And your hair has become very white ; And yet you incessantly stand on your head, — Do you think, at your age, it is right? " *'In my youth," Father William replied to his son, "I feared it might injure the brain; But now I am perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." '■■ ■ '■ '1 ra 7 "Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried, As he landed his crew with care, Supporting each man on the top of the tide By a finger entwined in his hair. "I see nobody on the road," said Alice. "I only wish I had such eyes," the King remarked in a fretful tone. "To be able to see nobody. And at that distance, too ! Why, it's as much as / can do to see real people, by this light." "I see somebody now," Alice exclaimed at last. "But he's coming very slowly — and what curious attitudes he goes into." "Not at all," said the King. "He's an Anglo-Saxon Messenger and those are Anglo- Saxon attitudes. His name is Haigha." "The other messenger's called Hatta. I must have two, you know, — to come and go. One to come, one to go." "I beg your pardon?" said Alice. "It isn't respectable to beg," said the King. "I only meant that I didn't understand," said Alice. "Why one to come and one to go?" "Don't I tell you?" the King repeated impatiently. "I must have two — to fetch and carry. One to fetch and one to carry." "You alarm me!" said the King, "I feel faint. Give me a ham sandwich." On which the Messenger opened a bag which hung around his neck and handed a sandwich to the King, who devoured it greedily. 3mmtv "Another sandwich!" said the King. "There's nothing but ha}^ left now," the Messenger said, peeping into the bag again. "Hay, then," the King murmured in a faint whisper. AHce was glad to see it revived him a good deal. 14 "There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint," he remarked, as he munched away. "1 should think throwing cold water over you would be better," Alice suggested: "or some sal- volatile." "I didn't say there was nothing better," the King replied. "I said there was nothing like it." 15 The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies — Such a carriage, such ease and such grace! Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise The moment one looked in his face! 3anuac^ 13 3lanuatg i6 He had bought a large map representing the sea, Without the least vestige of land: And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be A map they could all understand. 17 "Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes! But we've got our brave Captain to thank" (So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best — A perfect and absolute blank!" 18 This was charming, no doubt: but they shortly found out That the Captain they trusted so well Had only one notion for crossing the ocean, And that was to tingle his bell. He was thoughtful and grave — but the orders he gave Were enough to bewilder a crew. When he cried, "Steer to starboard, but keep her head larboard! " What on earth was the helmsman to do? Then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes : A thing, as the Bellman remarked, That frequently happens in tropical climes, When a vessel is, so to speak, "snarked." But the principal failing occurred in the sailing, And the Bellman, perplexed and distressed, Said he had hoped, at least, when the wind blew due East, That the ship would not travel due West! ^%j^^1 3anuar^ — 19 — ^?l=-i>5^^ 3lanuatg "Your Majesty must excuse her," the Red Queen said to Alice, taking one of the White Queen's hands in her own and gently stroking it: "she means well, but she can't help saying foolish things, as a general rule." 23 "She never was really well brought up," the Red Queen went on, "but it's amazing how good-tempered she is! Pat her on the head and see how pleased she'll be! A little kindness — and putting her hair in papers — would do wonders with her " 24 'And now, if e'er by chance I put My fingers into glue. Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot Into a left-hand shoe. Or if I drop upon my toe A very heavy weight, I weep, for it reminds me so Of that old man I used to know — January 25 Whose looks were mild, whose speech was slow, Whose hair was whiter than the snow, Whose face was very like a crow, With eyes like cinders, all aglow, Who seemed distracted with his woe, 26 Who rocked his body to and fro. And muttered mumblingly and low, As if his mouth were full of dough. Who snorted like a buffalo — That summer evening, long ago, A-sitting on a gate." 27 The Knight looked surprised. "What does it matter where my body happens to be?" he said. "My mind goes on working all the same. In fact, the more head downward I am, the more I keep inventing things." — 28 — "'Don't-care* and 'Care' were twin- brothers. 'Care* you know, killed the cat, and they caught 'Dont-care' by mistake, and hanged him instead. And so 'Care' is alive still." 29 There was one who was famed for the number of things He forgot when he entered the ship: His umbrella, his watch, all his jewels and rings. And the clothes he had bought for the trip. 30 He had forty-two boxes, all carefully packed. With his name painted clearly on each: But since he omitted to mention the fact, They were all left behind on the beach. lanuatp 31 — "What is an un-birthday present?" "A present given when it isn't your birth- day, of course." Alice considered a little. "I like birthday ^^ -. presents best," she said. jFtbtuatp I "You don't know what you're talking about!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "How many days are there in a year?" "Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice. "And how many birthdays have you?" "One." "That shows that there are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents — and only one for birthday presents." ^■.K "There's glory for you!" "I don't know what you mean by 'glory,'" Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't, — till I tell you. I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you! ' " The fat little man simpered. "Well, yes," he replied, "my ancestors were all famous for military genius." My Lady smiled graciously. "It often runs in families," she remarked, "just as a love for pastry does." ' ' That's the right order. First the Meeting : then the Eating: then the Treating." W/' "There's no use trying," Alice said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age I always did for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." ftbmatv "Flamingoes and mustard both bite," said the Duchess. "And the moral of that is — 'Birds of a feather flock together."* "Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice re- marked. "Right as usual," said the Duchess. "What a clear way you have of putting things! " -8- "It's a mineral, I think," said Alice. "Of course it is," said the Duchess; "there's a large mustard mine near here. And the raoral of that is — ' The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours.'" "Oh, I know," exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, "it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is." Jftbtuatp 9 "I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, "and the moral of that is — 'Be what you seem to be,' or if you'd like it put more simply, — Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." "I think I should understand that better," Alice said very politely, "if I had it written down; but I can't quite follow it as you say it." "That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the Duchess replied, in a pleased tone. "Speak roughlj^ to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes; He only does it to annoy. Because he knows it teases." 9 * ifebtuatg "He thought he saw a Rattlesnake That questioned him in Greek: He looked again and saw it was The Middle of Next Week. 'The one thing I regret,' he said, 'Is that it cannot speak!'" 13 "It's so very lonely here!" Alice said in a melancholy voice; and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, don't go on like that!" cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. "Con- sider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long way you've come to-day. Con- sider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, only don't cry! " 14 "I always loves my pav-rints like anything." "Who are your pay-rintsf" said Bruno. "Them as pay rint for me, of course!" the Gardener replied. "And the old Sheep said, 'Do you know your ABC yet ? Have you learned A ? ' And the Lamb said, 'Oh, yes, Ma, I went to the A-iield, and I helped them to make A.' 'Very good, my child. And have you learned B ? ' 'Oh, yes, Ma. I went to the B-hive and the B gave me soine honey ! ' i6 "'Very good, my child! And have you learned C?' 'Oh, yes. Ma! I went to the C-side and I saw the ships sailing on the C! '" 17 "Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two p enny worth only of beautiful Soup? Pennjrw'orth only of beautiful Soup? Beau— ootiful Soo — oop! Beau— ootiful Soo— oop! SOO-OOP of the e— e — evening, Beautiful, beauti— FUL SOUP!" — 15 — 16 17 jFe6tuati> "This is Medicine Day! We only give Medicine once a week. If we were to begin giving it other days the bottles would soon be empty! " "But if they were ill on the other days?" Sylvie suggested. "What, ill on the wrong day!" exclaimed the Professor, "Oh, that would never do! A servant would be dismissed at once who was ill on the wrong day!" 19 "May I put your shawl straight for you?" asked Alice. "I don't know what's the matter with it," the Queen said in a melancholy voice. "It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it here and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it." "It can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side," Alice said, as she gently put it right for her. "Dear me, what a state your hair is in!" "The brush has got entangled in it!" the Queen said, with a sigh. "And I lost the comb yesterday." Alice carefully released the brush. * ' Really, you should have a lady's maid!" 19 ^tbtmt^ "I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure," the Queen said. "Twopence a week and jam every other day." Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said. "I don't want you to hire me — and I don't care for jam." "It's very good jam, said the Queen. "Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." "You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday — but never jam to-day." 23 "It nmst come sometimes to 'jam to-day,'** Alice objected. "No, it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day: to-day isn't any other day, vou know." . 21 W^ 23 2 'But I was thinking of a plan To dye one's whiskers green, And always use so large a fan That they could not be seen. So having no reply to give To what the old man said, I cried, 'Come, tell me how you live!' And thumped him on the head." 25 'His accents mild took up the tale: He said, 'I go my ways, And when I find a mountain-rill I set it in a blaze; And thence they make a stuff they call Rowlands' Macassar-Oil — Yet twopence-halfpenny is all They give me for my toil.'" 26 "There be three Badgers on a mossy stone Beside a dark and covered way: Each dreams himself a monarch on his throne. And so they stay and stay — Though their old Father languishes alone, They stay, and stay, and stay. — 24 — "There be three Herrings loitering around, Longing to share that mossy seat: Each Herring tries to sing what she has found That makes Life seem so sweet. Thus, with a grating and uncertain sound. They bleat, and bleat, and bleat. 28 "The Mother-Herring, on the salt sea-wave, Sought vainh^^ for her absent ones: The Father-Badger, writhing in a cave, Shrieked out, 'Return, my sons! You shall have buns,' he shrieked, 'if you'll behave ; Yea, buns, and buns, and buns.' 29 *"I fear,' said she, 'your sons have gone astray ? My daughters left me while I slept.' 'Yes'm,' the Badger said, 'it's as you say, ^'t\ They should be better kept.' Thus the poor parents talked the time away, And wept, and wept, and wept. She was talldng all the time, sometimes to the kiU ten and sometimes to herself > -^^vnr^t^rft a^atcj "The Badgers did not care to talk to Fish: They did not dote on Herrings' songs: They never had experienced the dish To which that name belongs: 'And, oh, to pinch their tails,' (this was their wish,) 'With tongs, yea, tongs, and tongs!' ' ' ' And are not these the Fish ? ' the Eldest sighed, •Whose Mother dwells beneath the foam?' 'They are the Fish!' the Second one replied, ' And they have left their home ! ' 'Oh, wicked Fish!' the Youngest Badger cried, 'To roam, yea, roam, and roam!' "Gently the Badgers trotted to the shore — The sandy shore that fringed the bay: Each in his mouth a living Herring bore — Their aged ones waxed gay: Clear rang their voices through the ocean's roar, ' Hooray, hooray, hooray! ' " Sl?atc6 The Bellman looked uffish, and wrinkled his brow, "If only_ you'd spoken before! It's excessively awkward to mention it now, With the Snark, so to speak, at the door! "We should all of us grieve, as I hope you believe, If you never were met with again — But surely, my man, when the voyage began. You might have suggested it then. ''It's excessively awkward to m.ention it now — As I think I've already remarked." And the man they called "Hi!" replied, with a sigh, "I informed j^ou the day we embarked. x^ ' ' You may charge me with murder — or want of sense — (We are all of us weak at times) : But the slightest approach to a false pretense Was never among my crimes. ' ' I said it in Hebrew — I said it in Dutch — I said it in German and Greek: But I wholly forgot (and it vexes me much) That English is what you speak!" '"Tis a pitiful tale," said the Bellman, whose face Had grown longer at every word: "But now that you've stated the whole of your case More debate would be simply absurd. 7 m 13 "Beautiful Soup, so rich and green. Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!" ii Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to He down on her face, like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at proces- sions: "And what would be the use of a procession," she thought, "if people all had to lie down on their faces, so that they couldn't see it?" Alice began asking questions. "Aren't you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with nobody to take care of you?" "There's the tree in the middle," said the Rose. "But what could it do if any danger came? " Alice asked. "It could bark," said the Rose. "It says 'Bough-wough! ' " cried a Daisy. g g y ? f'^ — 13 — H IS i6 "Half-way up that bush, you'll see a Rocking-horse-fly. It's made entirely of wood, and gets about by swinging itself from branch to branch." "What does it live on?" Alice asked, with great curiosity. "Sap and sawdust," said the Gnat. 17 "I know what you're thinking about," said Tweedledum; "But it isn't so, nohow." "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledum, '•?' "if it was so, it might be: and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic! " "In Science, in fact, in most things, — it is usually best to begin at the beginning. In some things, of course, it is better to begin at the other end. For instance, if you wanted to paint a dog green, it might be best to begin with the tail, as it doesn't bite at that end." 'The sun was shining on the sea, Shining with all his might. He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright - And this was odd, because it was The middle of the night," "The moon was shining sulkily, Because she thought the sun Had got no business to be there After the day was done — 'It's very rude of him,' she said, 'To come and spoil the fun!'" "The sea was wet as wet could be, The sands were dry as dry, You could not see a clotid, because No cloud was in the sky; No birds were flying overhead — There were no birds to fly." "That's just what I complain of," said Humpty Dumpty. "Your face is the same as everybody has — the two eyes, nose in the middle, mouth under. It's always the same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for instance, or the mouth at the top — that would be some help." "It wouldn't look nice," Alice objected. But Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said, "Wait till you've tried." 23 — "And while the Lion was telling him the story, it nibbled some of his head off, — "Don't say 'nibbled,'" Bruno entreated. "Only little things nibble, — little sharp things, with edges " "Well, then, it 'nubbled,'" said Sylvie. — 25 — They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and as they came nearer Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. 26 "What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gry- phon, and the Gryphon answered, "It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!" 27 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them mth large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. "This here young lady," said the Gryphon, "she wants for to know your history, she do.*' "I'll tell it her," said, the Mock Turtle in a deep hollow tone: "Sit down both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished." — 25 — 26 i So they sat down and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, "I don't see how he can ever finish, if he doesn't begin." But she waited patiently. "Once," said the Mock Turtle, at last, with a deep sigh, "I was a real Turtle." 29 These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional excla- mation of "Hjckrrh!" from the Gryphon and the constant heavy sighing of the Mock Turtle. 30 "When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, "we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle, — we used to call him Tortoise " "Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked. "We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle angrily. "Really you are very dull!" "If a fish came to me," said the Mock Turtle, "and told me he was going on a journey, I should say, 'With what porpoise?'" "Don't you mean purpose?" said Alice. "I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied, in an offended tone. japtii 1 They roused him with muffins — they roused him with ice — They roused him with mustard and cress — They roused him with jam and judicious advice — They set him conundrums to guess. When at length he sat up and was able to speak, His sad story he offered to tell; And the Bellman cried "Silence! Not even a shriek! " And excitedly tingled his bell. sipm There was silence supreme! Not a shriek, not a scream, Scarcely even a howl or a groan, As the man they called "Ho! " told his story of woe In an antediluvian tone. 'My father and mother were honest, though poor " "Skip all that! " cried the Bellman in haste. 'If it once becomes dark, there's no chance of a Snark — "We have hardly a minute to waste!" *'I skip forty years," said the Baker, in tears, "And proceed without further remark To the day when you took me aboard your ship To help you in hunting the Snark. "A dear tincle of mine, after whom I was named, Remarked, as he bade me farewell *' "Oh, skij) your dear uncle!" the Bellman exclaimed As he angrily tingled his beU. "He remarked to me then," said that mildest of men, "If your vSnark be a Snark, that is right: Fetch it home by all means, you may serve it with greens, And it's handy for striking a light. ' ' You may seek it with thimbles — and seek it with care: You may hunt it with forks and with hope: You may threaten its life with a railway share : You may charm it with smiles and soap " Siptil 6 "It is this, it is this - that before!" The Bellman indignantly said, And the Baker replied, "Let me say it once more. It is this, it is this that I dread! "I engage with the Snark — every night after dark — In a dreamy, delirious fight: I serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes, And I use it for striking a light: "But if ever I meet with a Boojum, that day, In a moment, (of this I am sure,) I shall softly and suddenly vanish away — And the notion I cannot endure!" Siptil 15 The Red Queen began again. "Can you answer useful questions?" she asked. "How is bread made?" "I know that!" Alice cried eageriy. "You take some flour " "Where do you pick the flower? " the White Queen asked. "In a garden, or in the hedges?" 16 "Well, it isn't picked at all," Alice ex- plained. " It' s ground ' ' "How many acres of ground?" said the White Queen. "You mustn't leave out so many things." 17 "Fan her head!" the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. "She'll be feverish after so much thinking." So they set to work and fanned her with bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew her hair about so. i6 17 "Do you know Languages? What's the French for fiddle-de-dee?" "Fiddle-de-dee's not English," Alice replied gravely. "Who ever said it was?" said the Red Queen. "In our country," remarked Alice, "there's only one day at a time." The Red Queen said: "That's a poor thin way of doing things. Now here we mostly have days and nights two or three at a time, and sometimes in the winter we take as many as five nights together — for warmth, you know." "Are five nights warmer than one night,, then?" Alice ventured to ask. "Five times as warm, of course." ^aptii 'He thought he saw an Argument That proved he was the Pope: He looked again, and found it was A Bar of Mottled Soap. 'A fact so dread,' he faintly said, 'Extinguishes all hope.'" When they had been running half an hour ©r so, the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over!" and they all crowded round it, panting and asking, "But who has won?" At last the Dodo said ''Everybody has won, and all must have prizes." *' How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale. ^pril simi 24 "How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in With gently smiling jaws!" 25 "Well," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now / growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry." 26 "You should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do," Alice hastily replied, "at least — at least I mean what I say — that's the same thing, you know." "Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "Why, you might just as well say that ' I see what I eat ' is the same thing as *I eat what I see.' " "You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like.'" "You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, "that 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep Avhen I breathe.'" Siptil 27 .m^'m "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!*' 9?a^ X He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in tiffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! Ml — 3 — One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callayl" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. 9pa? ' ' You seem very clever at explaining words, sir," said Alice. "Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called 'Jabber- wocky '? " "Let's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. "I can explain all the poems that ever were invented, — - and a good many that haven't been invented yet." This sounded very hopeful, so Alice re- peated the first verse. "That's enough to begin with," Humpty Dumpty interrupted, "there are plenty of hard words there. 'Brillig' means four o'clock in the afternoon — the time when you begin broiling things for dinner." -8- "That'll do very well," said Alice: "and 'slithy'f' "Well, 'slithy' means lithe and slimy. 'Lithe' is the same as active. You see it is like a portmanteau, — there are two meanings packed up into one word." ^^v "I see it now," Alice remarked thought- fully: "and what are 'toves'?" "Well, 'toves' are something like badgers — they're something like lizards — and they're something like corkscrews." "The}^ must be very curious looking creatures." "They are that," said Humpty Dumpty; "also they make their nests under sun-dials, — also they live on cheese." "And what's to 'gyre' and to 'gimble'f" "To 'gyre' is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To ' gimble' is to make holes like a gimlet." ' ' And ' the wabe ' is the grass-plot around a sun-dial, I suppose," said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity. "Of course it is. It's called 'wabe,'' you know, because it goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it " "Well, then, ' minis y' is flimsy and miser- able (there's another portmanteau for you). And a 'borogove' is a thin, shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round — something like a live mop." " A ' rath ' is a sort of green pig : but ' momc ' I'm not certain about. I think it's short for from home — meaning that they'd lost their >vay, you know. ' Outgrabing' is something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of a sneeze in the middle: however, you'll hear it done, maybe — down in the wood yonder, — and when you've once heard it you'll be quite content." 13 - "What sort of things do you remember best?" Alice ventured to ask. "Oh, things that happened the week after next," the Queen replied in a careless tone, sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke. 14 "Oh, oh, oh!" shouted the Queen, shaking her hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. "My finger's bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!" Her screams were so exactl}^ like the whistle of a steam-engine that Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears. "What is the matter?" she said, as soon as there was a chance of making herself heard. "Have you pricked your finger?" "I haven't pricked it yet,''^ the Queen said, "but I soon shall — oh, oh, oh!" i6 "When do you expect to do it?" Alice asked, feeling very much inclined to laugh. "When I fasten my shawl again," the poor Queen groaned out: "the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!" As she said the words the brooch flew open and the Queen clutched wildly at it and tried to clasp it again. 17 "Take care! " cried Alice. "You're holding it all crooked!" And she catight at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and the Queen had pricked her finger. "That accounts for the bleeding, you see," she said to Alice, with a smile. "Now 3^ou understand the way things happen here." "But why don't you scream now?" Alice asked, holding her hands ready to put over her ears again. "Why, I've done all the screaming already," said the Queen. "What would be the good of doing it all over again?" " 'Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare, ' You have baked me too brown , I must sugar my hair.' As a duck with his eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons and turns out his toes." There was a Pig that sat alone Beside a ruined Pump: By day and night he made his moan — It would have stirred a heart of stone To see him wring his hoofs and groan Because he could not jump. mMmnmim I'^f •'■^i \v^- --t^". 9?a? 9^^V A certain Camel heard him shout — A Camel with a hump. "Oh, is it Grief, or is it Gout, What is this bellowing about?" That Pig replied, with quivering snout, "Because I cannot jump!" That Camel scanned him, dreamy-eyed, "Methinks you are too plump. I never knew a Pig so wide — That wobbled so from side to side — Who could, however much he tried — Do such a thing as jump! 23 "Yet mark those trees, two miles away, All clustered in a clump : If you could trot there twice a day, Nor ever pause for rest or play, In the far future — who can say? — You may be fit to jump." That Camel passed and left him there Beside the ruined Pump. Oh, horrid was that Pig's despair! His shrieks of anguish filled the air. He wrung his hoofs, he rent his hair, Because he could not jump. 25 There was a Frog that wandered by — A sleek and shining lump: Inspected him with fishy eye, And said, "Pig, what makes you cry?" And bitter was that Pig's reply, "Because I cannot jump!" 26 That Frog he grinned a grin of glee And hit his chest a thump. 'O Pig," he said, "be ruled by me, And you shall see what you shall see: This minute, for a trifling fee, I'll teach you how to jump! ^fmS '■ j j iW^^ " '^TT^'Xr^rTrrf^ "You may be faint from many a fall, And bruised by many a bump: But, if you persevere through all, And practice first on something small, Concluding with a ten-foot wall, You'll find that you can jump!" 28 That Pig looked up with joyful start, "O Frog, you are a trump! Your words have healed my inward smart- Come, name your fee and do your part: Bring comfort to a broken heart, By teaching me to jump!" 29 "My fee shall be a mutton-chop. My goal this ruined Pump. Observe with what an airy flop I plant myself upon the top! Now bend your knees and take a hop, For that's the way to jump!" up rose that Pig, and rushed, full whack, Against the ruined Pump: Rolled over like an empty sack, And settled down upon his back, While all his bones at once went "Crack!" It was a fatal jump. "Whom did you pass on the road?" the King went on. "Nobody," said the Messenger. "Quite right," said the King. "This young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you." il 'ium 1 "I do my best," the Messenger said, in a sullen tone. "I'm sure Nobody walks much faster than I do!" "He can't do that," said the King, "or else he'd have been here first." il^-^^pp^^^ — 30 "Would you be good enough," Alice panted out, after running a little farther, "to stop a minute — just to get — one's breath again! " "I'm good enough," said the King, "only I'm not strong enough. You see, a minute goes by so fearfully quick. You might as well try to stop a Bandersnatch." The Cat vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice, "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life! " m The Hatter was the first to break the silence. "What day of the month is it?" he said. He had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and said, "The fourth." "Two days wrong!" sighed the Hatter. "I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!" he added, looking angrily at the March Hare. "It was the best butter," the March Hare meekly replied. "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," the Hatter grumbled; "you shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife." The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, "it was the best butter, you know." The Hatter shook his head mournfully. "We quarrelled last March, —just before he w'ent mad, you know — " (pointing with his teaspoon to the March Hare) " — it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts and I had to sing. I'd hardly finished the first verse when the Queen bawled out, 'He's murdering the time. Off- with his head.' " "And ever since then," the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, "he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now." A bright idea came into Alice's head. "Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here?" she asked. "Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh. "It's always tea time, and we've no chance to wash the dishes between whiles." "Then you keep moving round, I suppose," said Alice. "Exactly so," said the Hatter, "as the things get used up." "But when you come to the beginning again," Alice ventured to ask. "Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare, interposed, yawning, "I'm getting tired of this." "The name of the Song is called ' Haddocks ' Eyes.' " "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" said Alice. "No, you don't understand," said the Knight, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called.'' 3«ne "Then I ought to have said, 'That's what the song is called?'" Alice corrected herself. "No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The song is called ' Ways and Means ' ; but that's only what it is called, you know." "Well, what is the song, then?" said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered. "I was coming to that," the Knight said. "The song really is 'A-Sitting on a Gate,' and the tune's my own invention." 13 "It's long," said the Knight, "but it's very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it — either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else " "Or else w^hat?" said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause. "Or else it doesn't, you know." ...^ "It's v,ery provoking!" said Alice. "I've cut several slices already, but they always join on again! " "You don't know how to manage Looking- Glass Cakes," the Unicorn remarked. "Hand it round first, and cut it afterwards." "Look on the branch above your head,' said the Gnat, "and there you'll find a Snap-dragon-fl}^ Its body is made of plum- pudding, its wings of holly leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy." 'And if in other days and hours Mid other fluffs and other flowers, The choice were given me how to dine — • 'Name what thou wilt; it shall be thine!* Oh, then I see The life for me Ipwergis-Pudding to consume, And drink the subtle Azzigoom!" mpsm^ ^m i ^^^0 ^ 3um — 17 — " To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care; To pursue it with forks and hope; To threaten its life with a railway share; To charm it with smiles and soap! 18 'For the Snark's a peculiar creature that won't Be caught in a commonplace way. Do all that you know, and try all that you don't : Not a chance must be wasted to-day!" Then the Banker endorsed a blank check ^1 (which he crossed) Al And changed his loose silver for notes. ^"^ The Baker with care combed his whiskers and hair, And shook the dust out of his coats. ^^^^w^mw^ 3unr 23 "Be a man! " said the Bellman in wrath, as be heard The Butcher beginning to sob. "Should we meet with a Jubjub, that desperate bird, We shall need all our strength for the job! " 24 "Don't stand chattering to yourself like that," HumjDty Dumpty said, looking at her for the first time, "but tell me your name and your business." "M}' name is Alice, but, " "It's a stupid name enough!" Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. "What does it mean?" 25 '*Must a name mean something?" Alice asked doubtfully. ' ' Of course it must , ' ' Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: "my name means the shape I am — - and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours — you might be an 5^ shape, almost." r^ ^^ gars a s f ^g^ t^^ ^ "This conversation is going on a little too fast : let's go back to the last remark but one." "I'm afraid I can't quite remember it," Alice said, very politely. "In that case we start fresh," said Humpty Dumpty, "and it's my turn to choose a subject. How old did you say you were?" 27 Alice made a short calculation and said "Seven years and six months." "Wrong!" Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. "You never said a word like it." ' ' I thought you meant ' ' How old are you ? " Alice explained. "If I'd meant that, I'd have said it," said Humpty Dumpty. 28 "Seven years and six months!" Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. "An un- comfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked my advice, I'd have said 'Leave off at seven' — but it's too late now." The most curious part of the thing was that the trees and the other things around them never changed their places at all; however fast they went they never seemed to pass anything. "I wonder if all the things move along with us!" thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she cried, "Faster! Don't try to talk!" She felt as if she would never be able to talk again, and still the Queen cried "Faster! Faster!" and dragged her along. "Are we nearly there?" Alice managed to pant out at last. "Nearly there!" the Queen repeated. "Why we passed it ten minutes ago!" They ran on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling in Alice's ears. "Now! Now!" cried the Queen. "Faster! Faster!" And they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet. 'iuiv Inlv Suddenl}^ just as Alice was getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy. She looked round her in great surprise. "Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was! " "Of course it is," said the Queen. "What would 3^ou have it?" _ 6 "In our country," said Alice, "you'd gen- erally get to somewhere else — if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing." "A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" "If seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year, Do you suppose," the Walrus said, "That thej^ could get it clear?" "I doubt it," said the Carpenter, And shed a bitter tear. p. 3ulg The Mock Turtle sighed deeply and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. At last he recovered his voice and with tears running down his cheeks he went on again: "You may not have lived much under the , sea — ' * ("I haven't," said Alice) — "and per- ^*^ haps you were never even introduced to a Lobster, so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is." "No, indeed," said Alice. "What sort of a dance is it?" "Why," said the Gryphon, "you first form into a line on the seasJiore " "Two lines!" cried the Mock Turtle. "Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on: then, when you've cleared all the jelly fish out of the way " "That generally takes some time," inter- rupted the Gryphon. "You advance twice " "Each with a lobster as a partner!" cried the Gryphon. "Of course," the Mock Turtle said: vance twice, set to partners " "Change lobsters, and retire in order," continued the Gryphon. "ad- 13 "Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, "you throw the " "The lobsters! " shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. "As far out to sea as you can " "Swim after them! " screamed the Gryphon. "Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. "Change lobsters again!" yelled the Gryphon at the top of his voice. w^M^ 13 t' "Back to land again, and — that's all the first figure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly- dropping his voice, and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like wild things all this time, sat down again very sadl}^ and quietly, and looked at Alice. 15 After looking everywhere for the Queen (whom she spied at last a long way off) , she thought she would try the plan this time, of M'alking in the opposite direction. It suc- ceeded beautifully. She had not been walk- ing a minute before she found herself face to face with the Red Queen and in full sight of the hill she had been so long aiming at. 16 "Where do you come from?" said the Red Queen. "And where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers all the time." Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, as well as she could, that she had lost her way. - 17 - "I don't know what you mean by your way," said the Queen; "all the ways^ about here belong to me — but why did you come out here at all?" she added in a kinder tone. "Courtesy while you are thinking what to say. It saves time." 18 Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much in awe of the Queen to disbe- lieve it. "I'll try it when I go home," she thought to herself, "the next time I am late for duiner." "It's time for you to answer now," the Queen said, looking at her watch; "open your mouth a little wider when you speak, and always say 'your majesty.'" 19 "I am so hot and thirsty," said Alice. "I know what you'd like!" the Queen said good-naturedly, taking a little box out of her pocket. "Have a biscuit?" Alice thought it would not be civil to say "No," although it was not at all what she wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as she could and it was very dry; and she thought she had never been so nearly choked in her life. "Have another biscuit?" said the Queen. "No, thank you," said Alice: "one's quite enough! " " Thirst quenched, I hope?" said the Queen. "Once upon a time there were three little sisters," began the Dormouse, "and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well " "What did they live on?" said Alice. "The}^ lived on treacle," said the Dor- mouse, after thinking a minute or two. "They couldn't have done that," Alice gently remarked: "They'd have been ill." "So they were," said the Dormouse; " very ill." aui? 23 "But why did they live at the bottom of a well?" "Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, ver}^ earnestly. "I've had nothing yet," Alice replied, in an offended tone, "so I can't take more." "You mean, you can't take less," said the Hatter; "it's very easy to take more than nothing." 24 Alice helped herself to some tea and bread and butter, and then repeated her question, "Why did they live at the bottom of a well? " The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, "It was a treacle-well." "There's no such thing," Alice was begin- ning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went "Sh! sh!" and the Dor- mouse sulkily remarked, "If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself. " 25 "No, please go on," Alice said very humbly ,^ "I daresay there ma^ be one." "One, indeed!" said the Dormouse indig- nantly. However, he consented to go on. ' ' And so these three sisters — they were learning to draw, you know " "What did they draw?" said Alice. "Treacle," said the Dormouse. 3ufe 26 — — — — — — - Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: "But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?" "You can draw water out of a water- well," said the Hatter, "so I think you could draAv treacle out of a treacle-well, — eh, stupid?" "But they were in the well," said Alice to the Dormouse. "Of course they were," said the Dormouse, — "well in." 27 "They were learning to draw," the Dor- mouse went on," and they drew all manner of things, — everything that begins with an M, " "Why with an M?" said Alice. "Why not?" said the March Hare. 28 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and was going off into a little doze, but on being pinched by the Hatter it woke up and went on : — " that begins with an M , such as mousetraps, and the moon, and memory and muchness — you know they say things are ' much of a muchness ' — did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness? " "Really, now you ask me," said Alice, much confused, "I don't think *' "Then you shouldn't talk." said the Hatter. - 29 — The Banker, inspired with a courage so new- It was matter for general remark, Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view In his zeal to discover the Snark. 30 But while he was seeking with thimbles and care, A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair. For he knew it was useless to fly. 31 Without rest or pause, while those frumious jaws Went savagely snapping around — He skipped and he hopped — and he floun- dered and flopped, Till fainting he fell to the ground. The Bandersnatch fled as the others appeared, Led on by that fear-stricken yell: And the Bellman remarked, "It is just as I feared!" And solemnly tolled on his bello He was black in the face, and they scarcely could trace The least likeness to what he had been: While so great was his fright that his waistcoat turned white — A wonderful thing to be seen! To the horror of all who were present that day, He uprose in full evening dress, And with senseless grimaces endeavoured to say What his tongue could no longer express. i SiiXQMt Down he sank in a chair, ran his hands through his hair — And chanted in mimsiest tones Words whose utter inanity proved his insanity While he rattled a couple of bones. "Can you play croquet?" shouted the Queen. "Yes!" shouted Alice. "Come on then!" roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the croquet -balls were live hedge-hogs, and the mallets live flamin- goes, and the soldiers had to double them- selves up and stand on their heads and feet, to make the arches. The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away comfortably enough under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself around and look up into her face. -8- When she had got its head down and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself and was in the act of crawling away. As the doubled-up soldiers were always get- ting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conckision that it was a very difficult game indeed. ^UffU^t The players all played at once, without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs, and in a very ^ short time the Queen was in a furious passion and went about stamping and shouting, "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about once in a minute. Alice began to feel ver}^ uneasy. She had already heard the Queen sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the looks of things at all. ' I sent a message to the fish : I told them, 'This is what I wish.' ' The little fishes of the sea, They sent an answer back to me. ' The little fishes' answer was 'We cannot do it, sir, because 1 i ' I sent to them again to say ' It will be better to obey. ' ' The fishes answered with a grin, 'Why, what a temper you are in!* 14 ' I took a kettle large and new, Fit for the deed I had to do. ' My heart went hop, my heart went thump; I filled the kettle at the pump. 15 ' Then some one came to me and said, 'The little fishes are in bed.' 'I said to him, I said it plain, 'Then you must wake them up again, ' I said it to him loud and clear ; I went and shouted in his ear. 19 Alice had read several nice little stories about children who had got burned, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them, such as, a red-hot poker will bum you if held too long; and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later. This bottle was not marked "poison," so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast), she verv soon finished it off. 'His form is ungainly, — his intellect small" (So the Bellman would often remark), 'But his courage is perfect! And that, after all, Is the thing that one needs with a Snark." ^aen^t l^^i; "Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat, "you may observe a B read- and-B utter fly. Its wings are thin slices of bread and butter, its body is a crust, and its head a lump of sugar. "And what does it live on?" "Weak tea with cream in it." 23 ^^J "Supposing it couldn't find any," Alice suggested. "Then it would die, of course." "But that must happen very often," Alice remarked thoughtfully. "It always happens," said the Gnat. "When a man's tipsy, he sees one thing as two. But when he's extremely sober, he sees two things as one. It's equally inconvenient, whichever happens." ' ' Why do you sit out there alone ? ' Alice. "Why, because there's nobody with me!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "Did you think I didn't know the answer to that? Ask another." "I see you're admiring my little box." the Knight said, in a friendly tone. "It's my own invention, to keep clothes and sand- wiches in. You see I carry it upside down, so that the rain can't get in." "But the things can get out,'' Alice gently remarked. "Do you know the lid's open?" 27 "I'll tell thee everything I can: There's little to relate. I saw an aged, aged man, A-sitting on a gate. 'Who are you, aged man?' I said, ' And how is it ^''ou live ? ' And his ansv.-er trickled through my head Like water through a sieve. ^U9U0t — 28 "He said, 'I look for butterflies That sleep among the wheat; I make them into mutton-pies, And sell them in the street. I sell them unto men,' he said, 'Who sail on stormy seas; And that's the way I get my bread A trifle, if you please.' " "As to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, "they — you've seen them, of course?" "I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. "They have their tails in their mouths and they're all over crumbs." "You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock Turtle: "crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they have their tails in their mouths, and the reason is" — here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes — "Tell her about the reason and all that," he said to the Gryphon. "The reason is," said the Gryphon, "that they would go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails j'ast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all!" ferptembfc I "jHe thought he saw an Albatress That fluttered round the lamp: He looked again and found it was A Penn5^-Postage-Stamp. 'You'd best be getting home,' he said: 'The nights are very damp!'" "Can you do addition?" the White Queen asked. "What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?" "I don't know," said Alice, "I lost count." "She can't do Addition," the Red Queen interrupted. 3 "Can you do Subtraction? from eight." "Nine from eight, I can't, you know," AUce repUed very readily, "but " "She can't do Subtraction," said the White Queen. "Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife — what's the answer to that?" "I suppose," Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her, "Bread-and- butter, of course." "Try another subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog. What remains?" Alice considered. "The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if I took it — and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come and bite me — and I'm sure / shouldn't remain!" "Then you think nothing would remain?" said the Red Queen. "I think that's the answer." fSfA"' &eptnnb^t "Wrong as usual," said the Red Queen. "The dog's temper would remain." "But I don't see how " "Why. look here!" the Red Queen cried. "The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it?" "Perhaps it would," Alice replied cau- tiously. "Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!" the Queen exclaimed trium- phantly, 7 — — ■ "She can't do sums a hit!'' the Queens said together, with great emphasis. "Can you do sums?" Alice said, turning suddenly on the White Queen, for she didn't like being found fault with so much. The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. "I can do Addition," she said, "if you give me time, but I can't do Subtraction under any circumstances! " mi "Of course you know your A B C?" said the Red Queen. "To be sure I do," said Alice. "So do I!" the White Queen whispered. "We'll often say it over together, dear. And I '11 tell you a secret — I can read words of one letter! Isn't that grand? However, don't be discouraged. You'll come to it in time." i 9 i'lii The Bellman perceived that their spirits were low, And repeated in musical tone Some jokes he had kept for a season of woe — ■ But the crew would do nothing but groan. He served out some grog with a liberal hand, And bade them sit down on the beach: And they could not but own that their Captain looked grand, As he stood and delivered his speech. " Come, listen, my men, while I tell you again The five unmistakable marks By which you may know, wheresoever you go, The warranted genuine Snarks. '^f*.:^':§ -9- "Lei us take them in order. The first is the taste, Which is meagre and hollow, but crisp: Like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist , With a flavour of Will-o '-the- Wisp. 13 "Its habit of getting up late you'll agree That it carries too far, when I say That it frequently breakfasts at five-o'clock tea, And dines on the following day. 14 "The third is its slowness in taking a jest. Should you happen to venture on one, It will sigh like a thing that is deeply dis- tressed ; And it always looks grave at a pun. "The fourth is its fondness for bathing- machines, Which it constantly carries about, And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes — A sentiment open to doubt." i6 Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella and seized Alice by the wrist. "Do you see that?" he asked, in a voice choking with passion, as he pointed with a trembling finger to a small white object lying under the tree. "It's only^ a rattle," Alice said, after a careful examination. "Only an -old rattle — quite old and broken." 17 "But it isn't old!" Tweedledum cried in a greater fury than ever. "It's new, I tell you — I bought it yesterday — my nice new RATTLE!" and his voice rose to a perfect scream. All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella with himself in it. 15 i8 "Of course you agree to have a battle?" Tweedledum said, in a calmer tone. "I suppose so," the other sulkily replied, as he crawled out of the umbrella: "only she must help us to dress up, you know." 19 So the two brothers went off hand in hand into the wood, and returned in a minute with their arms full of things — such as bolsters, blankets, hearth rugs, tablecovers, dishcloths and coal-scuttles. "I hope you're a good hand at pinning, and t3^ing strings," Tweedle- dum remarked. "Every one of these things has got to go on, somehow or other." I "Do I look very pale?" said Tweedledum, coming up to have his helmet tied on. (He called it a helmet, though it certainly looked more like a saucepan.) "Well — yes — a little,'' Alice replied gently. "I'm very brave generally," he went on, in a low voice; "only to-day I happen to have a headache." i8 "And I've got a toothache!" said Tweedle- dee. "I'm far worse than you!" "Then you'd better not fight to-day," said Alice. "We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about going on long," said Tweedledum. "Let's fight till six, and then have dinner," "Very well," said the other, rather sadly, "and she can watch us — only you'd better not come very close," he added: "I generally hit everything I can see — when I get really excited." "And / hit everything within reach," cried Tweedledum, "whether I can see it or not!" 23 "You!" said the Caterpillar contempt- uously. "Who are youf" Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, "I think you ought to tell me who you are first." "Why?" said the Caterpillar. ^tpttinhtv m 24 "Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. "I've something important to say!" This sounded promising, certainly; Alice turned and came back again. "Keep your temper!" said the Caterpillar. 25 "Will you walk a little faster? " said a Avhiting to a snail, "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and join the dance? 26 "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up and throw us with the lobsters, out to sea." But the snail replied, "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance. Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not ioin the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. i^m^M 24 25 26 feeptemhet 27 "What matters it how far we go?'^ his scaiy friend repHed, "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England, the nearer is to France ; Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?" 28 "Black Light and Nothing, look so ex- tremely alike, at first sight, that I don't wonder he failed to distinguish them." "It were proud of its new tail! You never saw a Crocodile so proud! Why, it could go round and walk on the top of its tail and along its back all the way to its head!" ^tpttmhtt feeptemlitt 30 Alice saw the Cheshire cat sitting on the bough of a tree a few yards off. The Cat grinned when it saw AHce. "\yould you tell me, please," said Alice, "which way I ought to walk from here?" "That depends a good deal upon where you want to get to," said the Cat. "I don't much care where " said Alice, " so long as I get somewhere .*' "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only Avalk long enough." Alice tried another question. "What sort of people live about here?" "In that direction," said the Cat, waving his right paw round, "lives a Hatter, and in that direction," waving the other paw, "lives a March Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad." m: "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat, "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." " "'^^'^i''^*!;^^'^^ &tpttmfcrr 30 i3Dttobtt I Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings : into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) **{He thought he saw a Coach- and-f our That stood beside his bed: He looked again and found it was A bear without a Head. 'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing! 'It's waiting to be fed!'" "Sobriety is a very good thing, when practised in moderation: but even Sobriety, when carried to an extreme, has its disad- vantages." flDctofjit "Remember, it's the early bird that picks up the worm!" "It may, if it likes," said Bruno with a slight 3^awn. "I don't like eating worms, one bit. I always stop in bed until the early bird has picked them up!" 7a " If everybody minded their own business," said the Duchess in a hoarse growl, "the world would go around a great deal faster than it does! " M "Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. "Just think what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis " "Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chop off her head!" P^«m^:^J^ flDttokt 9 "The Medicine's the great thing, you know. The Diseases are much less important. You can keep a Medicine for years and years and years, but nobody ever wants to keep a Disease/" "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak. Pray how did you manage to do it ? " "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law. And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life." October Alice went on, "And I thought I'd try and find my way to the top of that hill, " "When you say 'hill,'" the Queen inter- rupted, "7 could show you hills in comparison with which you'd call that a valley." 13 "No, I shouldn't," said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at last; "a hill can't be a valley, you know. That would be non- sense." The Red Queen shook her head. "You may call it 'nonsense' if you like," she said, "but Fve heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dic- tion arv!" ^4 "I only took the regular course," said the Mock Turtle, with a sigh. "What was that?" inquired Alice. "Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle replied, "and then the different branches of Arithmetic — ■ Ambition, Distraction, Uglification and Deri- M ^ttoUt 'mil ^tUhtt 15 "I never heard of Uglification," Alice ven- tured to say. "What is it?" The Gryphon Hfted up both its paws in surprise. "Never heard of uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know what to beautify is, I suppose?" "Yes," said Alice doubtfully, "It means to make anything prettier." "Well, then," the Gryphon went on," if you don't know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton." 16 Alice turned to the Mock Turtle and said, "What else had you to learn?" "Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers — "Mystery, ancient and mod- em, with Seaography : then Drawling, — the Drawling-Master was an old conger-eel that used to come once a week: he taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils." 17 "What was that like?" said Alice. "Well, I can't show it to you, myself," the Mock Turtle said, "I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it." "Hadn't time," said the Gryphon, "I went to the Classical master, though. He was an old crab, he was." flDctobtt i|f' "I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said, with a sigh. "He taught Laughing and Grief, they used to sa}^" "So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn, and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. 19 "And how many hours a day did you do lessons?" said Alice. "Ten hours the first day," said the Mock Turtle, "nine the next, and so on." "What a curious plan!" exclaimed iVlice. "That's the reason they're called Lessons," the Gryphon remarked, "because they lessen from day to day." This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought over it a little before she made her next remark. "Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?" "Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. "And how did you manage on the twelfth? " Alice went on eagerly. "That's enough about lessons," the Gry- phon interrupted in a very decided tone. SDttohtt 21 Then the Butcher contrived an ingenious plan For making a separate sally; And had fixed on a spot unfrequented by man, A dismal and desolate valley. i But the very same place to the Beaver occurred ; It had chosen the very same place : Yet neither betrayed, by a sign or a word, The disgust that appeared in his face. 23 Each thought he was thinking of nothing but "Snark" And the glorious work of the day; And each tried to pretend that he did not remark That the other was going that way. p '^ ^^f,^*^v:<;^ Then a scream, shrill and high, rent the shuddering sky, And they knew that some danger was near. The Beaver turned pale to the tip of its tail,. And even the Butcher felt queer. — 24 — 25 26 'Tis the note of the Jubjub! Keep count, I entreat, You will find I have told it you twice. 'Tis the song of the Jubjub! The proof is complete, If only I've stated it thrice. 28 "As to temper, the Jubjub's a desperate bird, Since it lives in perpetual passion, Its taste in costume is entirely absurd — It is ages ahead of the fashion. 29 "But it knows any friend it has met once before : It never will look at a bribe: And in charity meetings it stands at the door And collects — though it does not subscribe. "Its flavour when cooked is more exquisite far Than mutton or oysters or eggs (Some think it keeps best in an ivory jar And some, in mahogany kegs) ; 31 "You boil it in sawdust, you salt it in glue: ^ You condense it with locusts and tape: Still keeping one principal object in view — To preserve its symmetrical shape." Mobtmttt l- The Butcher would gladly have talked till next day, But he felt that the Lesson must end. And he wept with delight in attempting to say He considered the Beaver his friend. ^nhtmhtt While the Beaver confessed, with affectionate looks More eloquent even than tears, It had learned in ten minutes far more than all books Would have taught it in seventy years. They returned, hand in hand, and the Bellman, unmanned (For a moment) with noble emotion, Said, "This amply repays all the wearisome days We have spent on the billowy ocean!" Alice noticed a curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself, "It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to." jl^obemiiet "How are you getting on?" said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to speak with. Alice waited until the eyes appeared and then nodded. "It's no use speaking to it," she thought, "until its ears have come, or at least one of them." In another minute the whole head appeared. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more appeared. "Who are you talking to?" said the King, coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. "It's a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat," said Alice: "allow me to introduce it." "I don't like the look of it at all," said the King. "It may kiss my hand if it likes." "I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. "Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and don't look at me like that!" He got behind Alice as he spoke. "A cat may look at a king," said Alice. "I've read that in some book." "Well, it must be removed," said the King, very decidedly. iLteL.^ IM|p< 8 He called to the Queen, who was passing at that moment, "My dear, I wish you would have this cat removed!" The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. "Off with his head! " she said, without even looking around. "I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King eagerly. The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and that he wasn't going to begin at his time of life. The King's argument was that anything that had a head could be beheaded and you weren't to talk nonsense. The Queen's argument was that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time, she'd have everybody executed, all round. 10 The Cat's head began fading away the moment the executioner had gone, and by the time he came back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared, so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it. il^obj^mbrr Jl^obtmbtt "The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand: They wept like any thing to see Such quantities of sand. 'If this were only cleared away,' They said, 'it would be grand.' 'Oysters, come and walk with us!* The Walrus did beseech. 'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk Along the briny beach: We cannot do with more than four, To give a hand to each.' 13 The eldest Oyster looked at him, But never a word he said: The eldest Oyster winked his eye, And shook his heavy head — Meaning to say he did not choose To leave the oyster-bed. 'The time has come,' the Walrus said, 'To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax - Of cabbages — and kings — And why the sea is boiling hot — And whether pigs have wings.* 'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried, 'Before we have our chat; For some of us are out of breath, And all of us are fat.' 'No hurry!' said the Carpenter, They thanked him much for that. 'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said, 'Is what we chiefly need: Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed — Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear, We can begin to feed.' il^ob^mliet 'But not on us,' the Oysters cried, Turning a little blue, 'After such kindness that would be A dismal thing to do ! ' 'The night is fine,' the Walrus said, 'Do you admire the view?' *It was so kind of you to come! And you are very nice!' The Carpenter said nothing but 'Cut us another slice: I wish you were not quite so deaf — I've had to ask you twice.' 'It seems a shame,' the Walrus said, 'To play them such a trick, After we've brought them out so far And made them trot so quick!* The Carpenter said nothing but 'The butter's spread too thick!* \:1M ■mm *I weep for you,' the Walrus said, 1 1 deeply sympathize.' With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size, Holding his pocket-handkerchief Before his streaming eyes. 24 'O Oysters,' said the Carpenter, 'You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?' But answer came there none — And this was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one." 25 "If that there King was to wake," said Tweedledum, "you'd go out — bang! — just like a candle! " "I shouldn't! " Alice exclaimed indignantly. "Besides, if Pm only a sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know?" "Ditto," said Tweedledum. "Ditto, ditto!" cried Tweedledee. Mobtmhtt ^Mi \mj.M:M 25 il^ubemfcet 26 "I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry. "You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying," Tweedledee remarked. 27 "Mine is a long and sad tale!" said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing. "It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse's tail, "but why do you call it sad?" 28 He would answer to "Hi!" or any loud cry. Such as "Fry me!" or "Fritter my wig!" To " What-you-may-call-um I " or "What was his name!" But especially "Thing-um-a-jig!" j^o^tmhtt While for those who preferred a more forcible word He had different names from these: His intimate friends called him "Candle- ends," And his enemies "Toasted cheese." 30 "He's a very learned doctor. Why, he's actually invented three new diseases, besides a new way of breaking your collar bone!" SDecembet \ "What is it you want to buy?" the Sheep said, at last, looking up for a moment from her knitting. "I don't quite know yet," Alice said very gently. "I should like to look all round me first, if I might." "You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if you like," said the Sheep, "but you can't look all round you — unless you've got eyes in the back of your head." ^obtmitt 29 30 -S>tttmUt I S!>utmttt The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying in a solemn tone, "For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little, "From the Queen. An invitation to the Duchess to play croquet." 3 "Please, would you tell me," said Alice a little timidly, "why your cat grins like that?" "It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, "and that's why." Alice went on. "I didn't know Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats cottld grin." "They all can," said the Duchess, "and most of 'em do." "I don't know of any that do," Alice said, very politely. "You don't know much," said the Duchess, "and that's a fact." *"You are old,' said the youth, 'as I men- tioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet 5'"ou turned a back somersault in at the door — Pray, what is the reason of that?* S>tttmhtt 5 '/??^ " *In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his ' ^T'VM gray locks, *I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box — Allow me to sell you a couple.'" "What is the use of a book?" thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?" Wettmbtt When the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat pocket and looked at it, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a Rabbit with either a waistcoat pocket or a watch to take out of it. Humpty Dumpty began again. "Words have a temper, some of them — particularly verbs, they're the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs, — how- ever, / can manage the whole lot of them!" "Impenetrability! That's what / say!" "Would you tell me, please," said Alice, "what that means?" "Now you talk like a reasonable child," said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. "I meant by 'impenetrability' that we've had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next, as I don't suppose you mean to stop here all the rest of your life." L'V^^ SDecemiJet 8- "That's a great deal to make one word mean," Alice said, in a thoughtful tone. "When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra." *'He thought he saw an Elephant, That practised on a fife: He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife. 'At length I realise,' he said, 'The bitterness of life!'" 13 "You should never say 'more far,'" Sylvie corrected him: "you should say 'farther." "Then you shouldn't say 'more broth' when we're at dinner," Bruno retorted. "You should say 'brother.'" "You couldn't knock him down," said Bruno. "He's more wider than he's high: so, when he's lying down, he's more higher than when he's standing, so a-course you couldn't knock him down." SDtttmhtt — 14 — 15 Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at. Up above the world you fly, Like a tea tray in the sky." Bruno was gazing earnestly into the field where a horse , a cow , and a kid were browsing amicably together. ' ' For its father, a Horse," he murmured to himself. "For its mother, a Cow. For their dear little child, a little Goat, is the most curiousest thing I ever saw in my world." ^. "Human nature is so constituted that whatever you write seriously is taken as a joke, and whatever you mean as a joke is taken seriously." The waiters set a leg of mutton before Alice. " You look a little shy ; let me introduce you to that leg of mutton," said the Red Queen. "Alice — Mutton; Mutton — Alice." The leg of mutton got up in the dish and made a little bow to Alice ; and Alice returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened or amused. "May I give you a slice? " she said, taking up the knife and fork, and looking from one Queen to the other. "Certainly not," the Red Queen said, very decidedly; "it isn't etiquette to cut anyone you've been introduced to." Wttttnbtt "But I was thinking of a way To feed oneself on batter, And so go on from day to day Getting a little fatter. I shook him well from side to side, Until his face was blue; ' Come tell me how you live ! ' I cried, 'And what it is you do!* "He said, 'I hunt for haddocks' eyes Among the heather bright. And work them into waistcoat buttons In the silent night. And these I do not sell for gold Or coin of silvery shine, But for a copper halfpenny, And that will purchase nine.' " "She says she only said '//' " "But she said a great deal more than that," the White Queen moaned, wringing her hands. "Oh, ever so much more than that!" "So you did, you know," the Red Queen said to Alice. "Always speak the truth — think before you speak — and write it down afterward." "I'm sure I didn't mean ■" Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen interrupted her impatiently. "That's just what I complain of. You should have meant! What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning, — and a child's more important than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands." 24 "I don't deny things with my hands,'* Alice objected. "Nobody said you did," said the_ Red Queen. "I said you couldn't if you tried." "She's in that state of mind," said the White Queen, "that she wants to deny something — only she doesn't know what to deny." "A nasty, vicious temper," the Red Queen remarked. 25 They shuddered to think that the chase might fail, And the Beaver, excited at last, Went bounding along on the tip of its tail, For the daylight was nearly past. I\M "There is Thingumbob shouting! " the Bell- man said. "He is shouting like mad, only hark! He is waving his hands, he is wagging his head, He has certainly found a Snark!" 27 They gazed in delight, while the Butcher exclaimed, "He was always a desperate wag!" They beheld him — their B aker — their hero unnamed — On the top of a neighbouring crag. 28 "It's a Snark!" was the sound that first came to their ears, And seemed almost too good to be true. Then followed a torrent of laughter and cheers : Then the ominous words, "It's a Boo — " 27 28 SDtttmhtt — 29 Then silence. Some fancied they heard in the air A weary and wandering sigh That sounded like "jum!" but the others declare It was only a breeze that went by. 30 They hunted till darkness came on, but they found Not a button or feather or mark — By which they could tell that they stood on the ground Where the Baker had met with the Snark. 31 In the midst of the word he was tr3dng to say. In the midst of his laughter and glee, He had softly and suddenly vanished away — For the Snark was a Boojum, you see. 30 31 my 2d 1905 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS ^1 014 456 790