PN 6331 
 J75 
 
 h 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
 
 Chap.. Copyright No. 
 
 Shelf...:. .33 5" 
 
 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 
 
Sayings 
 
 Of 
 
 Uncle Eben 
 
 Philander Johnson 
 
 PICTURES BY 
 
 WILL H. CHANDLEE 
 
 WASHINGTON 
 THE BAUBLE PUBLISHING CO. 
 MDCCCXCVI 
 
 b|0 
 
 *t 
 
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 3 
 
 COPYRIGHTED 
 
 MDCCCXCVI 
 
 BY P. C. JOHNSON 
 
Sayings of Uncle Eben 
 
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IS DUE OF COURTESIES 
 SHOWN IN CONNECTION WITH THIS VOLUME BY 
 THE WASHINGTON EVENING STAR, IN WHOSE 
 COLUMNS MUCH THAT IS PUBLISHED HERE 
 ORIGINALLY APPEARED. 
 
SAYINGS OF UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Life am mos'ly made up o' prayin' foh 
 rain an' wishin' 'twould cl'ar off. 
 
 Doan lose sight .er de future. De one dat 
 grabs for de bigges' piece er watahmillion 
 am liable ter git lef out de nex' time invi- 
 tations is issued. 
 
 Whutdey calls er pessimist am mos' alius 
 er walkin' dununciation ob 'is wife's cook- 
 ing. 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Some mighty good people does er lot o' 
 preachin' whah dey might 'complish mo' 
 by locatin' dah chicken-coop whah it 
 wouldn' be so temptatious. 
 
 Hit am mos'ly when er man am whut 
 folks call "his own wust enemy" dat he 
 succeeds in lubbin' his en ny. 
 
 Some men kin whistle jes' 'nuff ter make 
 dah neighbors mis'ble, an' not 'nuff ter 
 stop er street kyah. 
 
 Time is money, but hit do beat all how 
 much easier 'tis ter gib er needy frien' an 
 hour's lecture on economy dan 'tis ter lend 
 'im fifty cents. 
 
 10 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Hit am er mighty exceptional man dat 
 kin confine hisse'f ter de calender on dis- 
 here Aprile fool bus'ness. 
 
 11 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 AN APRIL MOOD 
 
 Dah's goin's on in April, 
 When de tree tops 'gin ter sing 
 
 An' de sunbeams am a-laughin' 
 While dey cuts de pigeon wing. 
 
 De forest am a-primpin' 
 Whah de crick its mirror shows 
 
 'Case she's gwine ter jine de party 
 An' she wants her fines' clothes. 
 
 12 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Contentment am er good thing, but it 
 hab its propah place. Yoh too often sees 
 er man dat's contented ter lib on whut 'is 
 wife kin earn. 
 
 Bein' good-natured makes er heap better 
 citizen dan losing yoh tempah. But some- 
 times provocation comes erlongwhah yoh 
 gotter leggo aw be er hypccrit. 
 
 Dah ain' no doubt 'bout contentment be- 
 in' bettern riches. But mos' ebrybody 
 now'days seems too p'lite ter want de bes' 
 foh hisself. 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Yoh , lI take notis dat de man who talks 
 big 'bout whut he hab done an' whut he's 
 gwine ter do, am invarr'bly doin' nuffin* 
 'tall at dis partic'lar time. 
 
 De only t'ing dat some men nebber gits 
 'scouraged ober am tryin' ter lib wifout 
 
 wu'kin'. 
 
 Some men alius acks oberworked foh de 
 reason dat any business 'tall am mo' dan 
 dey kin ten' to. 
 
 14 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 IS 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 MUTUAL ENVY 
 
 Boy, he say, "I wisht I was 
 
 Er man dat's done growed-up; 
 Mebbe, den, I'd drive er horse 
 
 Er own er yaller pup, 
 I'd stay out late, an' Pd be free 
 
 Fum lickin's when Ps bad — 
 Oh golly, how Pd like ter be 
 
 Er growed-up man like dad." 
 
 Man, he say, "I wisht I was 
 
 Er little feller, now. 
 Dah wouldn' be much mo' time los' 
 
 A-followin dishere plow. 
 Dah's no mo' goin' on de sly 
 
 Ter hunt er fish er swim. 
 Oh golly, how I wish dat I 
 
 Wus Pickaninny Jim." 
 
 16 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 De young folks doan git 'nuff Mention. 
 Wen er 'boy has de stumach-ache, he jes' 
 gits laughed at. But w'en er man gits it, he 
 wants ter be treated like he gwinter die, 
 sho'. 
 
 Er fahther hab er hahd argyment befoh 
 him w'en he bets on hoss-races an' scol's 
 his boy foh playin' mahbles foh keeps. 
 
 Da am only one kin' ob boy li'ble ter 
 tu'n out wuss dan d e boy dat doan git 
 licked, an' dat's de one dat gits licked too 
 much, 
 
 17 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Doan' staht in ter sow no wiP oats. 
 Yoh's li'ble ter put in yon whole life hah- 
 vestin' de crap. 
 
 Dar am some parents dat hab a keerless 
 way o' 'casionally makin' er boy feel like 
 he wus gettin' whipped foh not lyin' 
 'bout whut he done. 
 
 Hit am er good t'ing ter ake de cigar- 
 ettes away fum de boy. Bir; some er de 
 mo'al erfeck am boun' ter be los' ef yoh 
 tu'ns in an' smokes 'em yohse'f. 
 
 Somehow er boy gits ter be mos' ez 
 angelic jes' befoh Christmas ez he gits 
 prezackly de opposite way 'long 'bout 
 de Fourf ob July. 
 
 18 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 When er man ain' got nuffin' ter do his- 
 se'f he seems ter fink dat it's in his power 
 ter declare er national holiday fer his 
 'quaintances. 
 
 De individjle dat kin tell foh shoh ebry 
 time, whedder he's jes' tiahed out aw jes' 
 indolent hab qualities dat nacherly fit him 
 foh nuffin' less dan de Supreme Bench. 
 
 Yoh wants ter look out foh some er dese 
 ol' proverbs. Dat remahk 'bout not 
 crossin' de bridge tell yoh gits ter it hab 
 kep' many er man on de do-nuflin' side o' 
 de stream. 
 
 19 
 
 / 
 
UNCLE EBEft 
 
 Sonny, 'taint nuffin' ter yer discredit 
 dat yoh doan know ez much ez yoh 
 'rnagines. Ef yoh did, yoh'd probably 
 scoot erlong so fas' in dishere wurl' dat 
 yoh'd git persassinated like Julius Caesar. 
 
 21 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 When er man talks 'bout whut er good 
 fren' ob yourn he am, listen ter him but 
 doan' trade hosses wif him. 
 
 De wu'kman dat tu'ns out er po' job 
 am better dan de man dat doan' do nuftin' 
 but look on an' make remahks. 
 
 Some men would stahtle de woiT ef dey 
 wus ez industrious wu'kin' ez dey is in 
 makin' 'scuses. 
 
 Lots er men woldn' hate wu'k nigh so 
 much ef dey'd only take de trouble ter git 
 'quainted wif it. 
 
 Idleness meks er man talkative. Seems 
 like it's onpossible ter do nuffin' an* 
 say nuffin' simultuously. 
 
 22 
 
A SYMPHONY 
 
 Ps done let down de fiddle's 
 
 strings 
 An' Ps hung 'im on de wall a*& 
 Foh I doan hab use foh no sich 
 
 things 
 When de Souf-win' comes 
 
 ter call. " \ ^ 
 
 Foh de cloud he res' by de ribber bank V V\ 
 
 Ter hank ter de chorus whah de weeds ' v v!4 s ' y 
 
 grow rank, & N * 
 
 An* de small birds whistle an' de yaller A x ft \ 
 
 jackets hum, '* **\k 
 
 An* de bull-frog hammer on Us big M ( >A 
 
 bass drum. *\V 
 
 * \ 
 
 Yoh's got ter eddycate yer ear §|£ % 
 
 Or yoh can't appreciate C 
 
 De compositions dat yoh hear 
 
 When er wahm day's growin' late; 
 
 But when yoh's in de frame ob mind 
 
 Yoh want's no better dan what yoh find 
 
 When de small birds whistle an'de yaller jackets hum 
 
 An' de bull-frog hammer on 'is big bass drum. 
 
 23 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 LUXURY 
 
 Ef I should lose mer laziness I sho'ly hates ter think 
 Ob de comfort an' enj'yment dat I'd miss. 
 Dah am' so man)' years 
 In dis life ob joy and tears 
 An' we might es well jes' make de mos' ob dis. 
 When I sees de people frettin' tell dey reach de 
 grave-yahd's brink 
 A-fussin' an' a-fallin' in dah haste, 
 Mer lucky stahs I bless 
 Dat I's got dis laziness 
 An' I ain't a gwinter let none go ter waste. 
 
 Ef I should lose mer laziness de sun would shine in 
 vain, 
 On de ol' po'ch whur de honeysuckles climb, 
 An' de gret big rockin' cha'h 
 Would be standin' idle dah, 
 While I squandered recklessly mer ioafin'-time. 
 So I grabs mer opportunity — it may not come again 
 An' I lets de hours pass on, a-driftin' free; 
 An' de sunbeams come an' play 
 An' de perfumed breezes stray 
 To keep comp'ny wif mer laziness an' me. 
 
 25 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 A SIMILE 
 
 Er man am mighty like er bee,* 
 
 It's all dependin', sonny, 
 On how yoh treats Mm which yoh gits- 
 
 De stinger aw de honey. 
 
 26 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Dishere little busy bee reminds me ob 
 er whole lot ob people. Dey gits mad an' 
 stings er man 'bout little er nuffln' an' 
 lays right down an' lets de hull hive git 
 robbed when de critical 'casion comes. 
 
 27 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Doan put in yoh time perducin' advice. 
 De mahket foh it am mighty po\ Ef er 
 man teks it fer nuffin' he am li'ble ter ack 
 like he done yer a favor. 
 
 De man dat am de mos' skyart foh fear 
 folks am gwine ter miss sumpin' whut he 
 says ginerally libs ter be sorry he let 'em 
 hyah a good deal ob it. 
 
 Yoh's gotter git right down an' hustle 
 foh re'l success. Er young man's gwinter 
 spile 'is silk hat ef he keeps hit on while 
 he's tryin' ter put on de wreath er laurel. 
 
 28 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Er gret big weddin' am er mighty fine 
 t'ing. But it ain' necessarily gwinter mek 
 home happy. 
 
 When yoh hyah er young man sayin' 
 he's nebber gwine ter git married, jes' 
 look 'round an' notice ef dar ain' some 
 special young woman dat he's tryin' ter 
 git interested in de statement. 
 
 Some gals makes dah bigges' mistakes 
 by 'maginin' dat de kin' er language er 
 young man puts inter 'is valentines an' 
 love-letters is 'is naclrl ebry-day talk. 
 
 'Casionally er young man seems er heap 
 mo* willin' ter spen' money on valentines 
 foh er young lady dan he is ter settle de 
 grocery bill after he's done married her. 
 29 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 De young lady dat's gwinter marry er 
 young- man ter refohm 'im, orter hab her 
 'tention called to de fack dat two people— 
 de young man's father an' mother, hab 
 put in years at de job she gwinter tackle, 
 wifout success. 
 
 Cupid nebber wus so blin' dat hit tuk 
 'im mo' dan two seconds ter see trough de 
 anonymousness ob er valentine. 
 
 Er gal is li'ble ter 'magine er man is 
 gwine ter mek er good husband simply 
 'case he's read de same novels dat she has. 
 30 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 CONTRAST 
 
 Laugh er bit an' sing er chune 
 
 White' tryin' ter remember; 
 Yoh mightn't 'predate de June 
 
 Ef 'twarn't foh December. 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Embellishment am right 'nough in its 
 way. But 'taint de curlycues on de check 
 dat saterfy de gemman at de bank. 
 
 Some folks am so skyaht o' doin' dah 
 wu'k on'y half way dat dey draps it right at 
 de beginnin'. 
 
 Some dogs is like human fo'ks. Jes' ez 
 soon ez yoh gib 'em 'miff ter eat, dey 
 'gins ter git sassy. 
 
 Er good deal depen's on not misdirectin , 
 yoh inergies. Er awgan-grinder ain' gwine 
 ter mek much headway playin' in front 
 ob er deaf an' dumb asylum. 
 32 
 
UKCLE EBEN 
 
 A SUNSET DITTY 
 
 Moon, she come a-swingin' low; 
 
 How-de do, mer lady. 
 Time foh Mr. Sun ter go. 
 
 Meet you by an' by. 
 Clouds am curlin' in de West, 
 An' de rain-bows build dah nest 
 Jes' above de mountain's crest — 
 
 Ain't no cause ter sigh. 
 
 Missie Moon, she smile so sweet, 
 (How-de do, mer lady.) 
 
 Daylight jes' gib in complete. 
 Meet you by an' by. 
 
 Watch dem colors cross de scene: 
 
 .See dat pink an' white an' green? 
 
 Watah-millions, what dey mean. 
 Ain't no cause ter sigh. 
 
 33 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Hit am er fack dat er little learnin' am 
 er danj'ous t'ing. But doan fohgit dat de 
 littler 'tis, de mo' danj'ouser 'tis. 
 
 Plain fo'ks is de kin' dat kin oftenes' be 
 depended on. De singin' ob de canary am 
 sweet, but de cackle o' de hen means busi- 
 ness. 
 
 Doan hide yoh light under a bushel. 
 But even if yoh does, de light' 11 shine out 
 trough de chinks, ef its good an strong. 
 
 Ef dah wus er sho'-nufT Fool-killer, some 
 er de fo'ks dat does de mos' hollerin' foh 
 'im now 'ud be de fus' ter git in hidin' ef 
 he come roun'. 
 
 34 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 PENALTY 
 
 It's sufFerin' makes de usefulness 
 Whichebber way you look; 
 
 De fishin' worm's no good ontel 
 He's strugglin' on de hook. 
 
 35 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Doan model yoh life aftuh detoboggon. 
 De fun o' back-siidin' doan pay foh de 
 hahd journey up de hill o' repentence, 
 
 Sometimes, when yoh does er favor foh 
 er man, he jes' acks like yoh orter be 
 thankful foh de chance he give yer ter 
 
 Show Off, 
 
 When erf rien' axes yer foh advice, de 
 bes r ting ter do is ter try an' guess his 
 'pinion an' tell it ter 'im. 
 
 Rise in de worl" all yoh kin, but doan 
 sacrifice yoh reppytation. Hit may come 
 in handy foh er parachute. 
 36 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Tryin' ter reg'late de 'fahrs er de 
 country by vi'lence am mos' alius like 
 burnin' off yoh finger ter cure er 'skeeter- 
 bite. 
 
 Er puhfessional refohmer ginerally 
 stahts in by tacklin' de hull universe. He 
 wu'ks roun 1 ter Ms own short-comings by 
 ve'y slow degrees. 
 
 Hit am alius pathetic ter hyah er man's 
 wife tryin' ter git comfort out'n de fack 
 dat wuss men dan him hez got office. 
 
 One vindication am er good t'ing. But 
 hit am er bad idea foh er public servant 
 ter git in de habit o' takin' 'em reg'lar. 
 
 'Tain' alius de citizen dat shoots off de 
 irlos' iiah crackahs on de Fourf er July 
 dat 'ud be in de bigges' hurry ter enlis' 
 ef wah was ter break o ut. 
 
 37 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 THE HUSBANDMEN 
 
 Ws's waited fur it patient, an* it's comin' roun* 
 ergin, 
 De season when de air is crisp an* clear; 
 When de cider's in de barrel an' de co'n is in de bin 
 
 An' de summer's aggerwations disappear. 
 But dis hahves' ain' de only t'ing we's got ter lose 
 er win; 
 Hit am* no time ter quit an* take er nap. 
 We is hopin* an' debatin' 
 An' a-wishin' an' a-waitin' 
 Tell de ballot's ripe an' ready foh ter drop. 
 38 
 
UWCLE EBEN 
 
 De hands has done wu'ked up de soil wif diligence 
 an* speed, 
 Wif overseers ez knows whut dey's erbout; 
 Hit's rich wif common sense an' dem ez sows de 
 proper seed 
 Kin res' assured dat hit's a-gwineter sprout, 
 We'll nuss de plant dat nourishes an 7 tear away de 
 weed 
 An' look ter see a big an' wholesome crap; 
 We's a-sighin' an' a-yearnin' 
 An* a-strivin' an' a-learnin' 
 Tell de ballot's ripe an ? ready foh ter drap. 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 De way ter be er sho'-'nuff patriot am 
 ter try f oh less hurrahin' an* mo' thinkin'; 
 less torch-light kerosene an' mo' midnight 
 ile. 
 
 De trouble 'bout de man dat t'inks he 
 knows it all am dat he wants ter stop 
 all de folks he meets an' tell ebry bit ob 
 it. 
 
 40 
 
UKCLE EBEN 
 
 Talk is alius cheap. An' de cheaper an* 
 commoner talk gits ter be, de mo' de 
 price er meat an 1 vegetables goes up. 
 
 Many a man hab foun' dat de pinnacle 
 ob fame am intiahly too p'inted ter sit 
 down on wif comfort. 
 
 Ef women am ez contrary ez some folks 
 'clan dey is, de bes' way ter git em outer 
 wantin' suffrage, am ter tell 'em dey got 
 ter vote. 
 
 Ef some men paid ez much 'tention ter 
 bein* Congressmen ez dey did ter bein' 
 canerdates, dar'd be moh statesmen in 
 dishere country. 
 
 41 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 De canerdate dat gits defeated am hahd 
 ter convince dat dis worl' ani pergressin'. 
 
 De difficulty 'bout bein er statesman 
 out'n a job am de trouble yoh's li'ble ter 
 'sperience gittin' er recomend. f um yoh 
 las' place. 
 
 Sometimes de big words git de mos' 
 applause but dey doan mek nigh so many 
 people change dah min's. 
 
 Er man am intitled ter his own opinions. 
 Hit am only when he tries ter mek some- 
 body er present ob ' em dat he gits dis- 
 'gree'ble. 
 
 Ez soon ez er man begins ter t'ink de 
 
 worP kain't git erlong wifout him, he 
 
 meks it unpossible foh anybody ter git er- 
 long wif him. 
 
 42 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Some men seems ter fink dat talkin* at 
 de top er yoh voice kin take de place ob 
 speakin' V um de bottom ob yoh h'aht. 
 
 Dan's too much time wasted in tryin' 
 ter Meet er Congress dat' 11 legislate de 
 mawgidges off' de fahms. 
 
 Hit am mahvellous how much easier 
 some men tin's hit ter pay off de national 
 debt dan ter settle de grocery bill. 
 
 Cuhcumstances alter cases. De man 
 dat likes ter hyah hisse'f holler in er 
 ahgyment doan 'pear ter git no satisfact- 
 ion 'tall f um Ms voice, drivin' cows. 
 
 43 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Some men hab er way ob makin' yer 
 i'ink dat yoh lacks in comprehension 
 when de real fack is dat dey is concealing 
 dah own ign'unce. 
 
 Sayin* de right t'ing at de right time 
 am er great gif . But not sayin' anyt'ing 
 at de right time am mos' ez good an' er 
 heap mo' relible. 
 
 'Tain't de noisy man dat do de mos' 
 bus'ness. De torpedo boat swims under 
 watah an 1 doan do nosplashin' whutsom- 
 ever. 
 
 44 
 
'Tain' no matter what ychdoes, 
 
 Nor to whah yoh strays, 
 T'ings'll make yer wish dey wuz 
 
 Dif unt, lots o' ways. 
 When Ts done de bes* 1 can, 
 
 Weary ez kin be, 
 Wisht I wuz some yuther man, 
 
 'Stid o' bein' me. 
 
 But, when mawnin' fin's me strong, 
 
 Ready foh de day, 
 Strikes me dat I may be wrong 
 
 Pinin' dat-a-way. 
 Ef folks changed aroun' so free 
 
 Comfo't might be slim; 
 P'raps I'd wish dat I wuz me 
 
 'Stid o' bein' him. 
 45 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Er man dat comes ter Washington look- 
 in' foh trouble am lrble ter git Ms wish 
 er heap quicker dan de man dat comes 
 lookin' foh office. 
 
 46 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Ebry t'ing am all right in its place. Er 
 sha'p razzer meks er good barber one min- 
 ute, an' a bad man de nex\ 
 
 Ef a p'liceman could keep 'is eye on er 
 bad citizen ez industrious ez er bad 
 citizen kin keep 'is eye on a p'liceman, dah 
 wouldn' be nigh so much goin's on. 
 
 Big words an' fine clothes is bery fre- 
 quent alike in not kibberin' much dat re'ly 
 counts. 
 
 De woman dat jumps in an' tries ter boss 
 de human race ain' er bit mo' 'zasperatin' 
 dan de man dat prides hisse'f on bein' purty 
 ter look at. 
 
 I ain* goin' in so ter'ble strong foh dese 
 new women idee's but I kain symp'fise wit' 
 a lot of able-bodied citizens dat seems ter 
 think er woman musn't do er man's work, 
 onless she's done married de man. 
 
 47 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 MAGNIFICENCE 
 
 I 
 
 Vs read it in de paper an' l's hyuhd it in de 
 ha!! 
 'Bout de goinVon a-crownin' king or 
 Czar; 
 When de flashin' o' de di'mon's an' de 
 splendor ob it all 
 Beats de fines' circuses dat ebber wur. 
 But, goodness, gracious, chile, 
 I doesn' ask foh style; 
 Ter see sech fuss an' fixin's I would 
 scarcely walk er mile. 
 l's sho' dar isn' anyt'ing sogohgeous, any- 
 where, 
 As ter see Miss Summer comin' wif de 
 roses in her hair. 
 
 43 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 II 
 
 Dey say dat sech occasions am de grandes' 
 t'ings yoh'll fin' 
 When er ruier an' 'is people makes 
 er pledge; 
 But I finds er sign o' promise mo' impres- 
 sive ter my mind 
 In de simple wreath o' blossoms on de 
 hedge 
 Perhaps it's 'case I's old 
 An' mer magination's cold; 
 But mer haht keeps on a-whisperin', 
 in spite ob what I's told, 
 Dat nuftin' in dis gret big earf could be 
 
 mo' richly fair 
 Dan ter see Miss Summer comin wif de 
 roses in hair. 
 
 49 
 
SAYJKGS OF 
 
 Some men gits de reppitation ob bein' 
 great leaders, when, ez a matter er fack t 
 dey is jes* bein' shoved foward f urn behin'. 
 
 Dah's many er big man dat nebber would 
 of climbed ter success ef his wif hadn' 
 stood by sometimes ter stiddy de ladder. 
 
 De labor some er deshere politicians puts 
 inter schemes ter git somefin' foh numV 
 remin* me o' de pussun dat put in all 'is 
 spare time foh six months makin' er coun- 
 terfeit one-dollar bill dat wouldn' pass 
 when he got it done. 
 
 50 
 
UNCLE E8EN 
 
 Er politician soon discovers dat hit's 
 hahd ter set de people mahchin' his way 
 by drummin' oner empty bar'l. 
 
 De no'f pole ain' much hahder foh de 
 white gemmen to reach dan de 'lection poll 
 wus foh me once ponner time. 
 
 Dishonesty kyahs its own punisrnent. 
 Hit am de fattenin' puhsimmons he done 
 stole dat leads ter de 'possum's gittin' 
 cooked foh dinner. 
 
 Yoh kain't leave no footprints in de san's 
 o' time ef yoh goes trough life wif yoh 
 kyapet slippahs on. Yoh's got ter tramp 
 roun 1 in hob-nailed shoes. 
 
 51 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Nature doan rtcbber bestow all her gif's 
 on one indivijjle. De lightnin' bug ain' got 
 no stinger an' de skeeter ain' got no lamp. 
 
 Yoh kin tell er good deal 'bout er 
 man's early hahdships er luxuries, by 
 noticin' wheddah he calls daisies, "wiP 
 flowers" er "weeds." 
 
 I doesn't wanter 'scourage nobody but 
 true repentance consists in not doin' it 
 over agin. 
 
 52 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Doan' talk about yoh neighbors. Yoh 
 services am s'perfl'ous. Dey'll ten' to it 
 foh one annuddah an' foh yoh, too. 
 
 Some men gits sudd'nitly neah-sighted 
 when dey stahts out ter look foh wu'k. 
 
 Too much se/f-esteem kain't he'p bein' 
 comical. Er man is boun' ter 'pear ridic'- 
 lousef he tries ter pat hisse'f on de back. 
 
 Ef yoh ahgifies wif er smaht pusson yoh 
 done git de wust ob it, and if yoh ahgifies 
 wif er fool yoh done was'e yoh time. 
 
 53 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 ANTICIPATION 
 
 In July you feels de simmer 
 
 Ob de sun dat makes it sweet, 
 Hurryin' roun'J — de dewdrops glimmer 
 
 Foh ter mek de fruit complete. 
 Summer's young; yit hyah*s de feemV 
 
 Dat de fruit will turn out prime, 
 An' de dreams come sof ly stealin' — 
 
 Dreams ob watermillyun time. 
 
 Trickle, trickle! How dem juices 
 
 Wash de worry all away! 
 Mek yoh wonder what de use is 
 
 Ob dis wu'kin, day by day! 
 Green an* white an' pink a-i'min' — 
 
 Hit's a picture mos' sublime., 
 Show yoh teef an' quit repinin' — 
 
 Dream ob watermillyun time. 
 
 S4 
 
UNCLE EBEH 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 WILL T THE WISP 
 
 Willer-de-wis, he shine so bright, 
 
 ArT seem ter dance so gay 
 Yoh wants ter keep Mm still in sight 
 An' wishes yoh had ? im day an' night 
 Fohter f rolick dat-er-way* • . v. 
 
 But trus' yoh mammy; doan' gib chase, 
 
 Dan's lots o* joys like dis; 
 Jes' look an* laugh, an' keep yoh place; : 
 Ef yoh comes too nigh 'em, dey leaves no 
 trace. ; . • 
 
 Dey's gone, like willer-de-wis. 
 
 56 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 It doan' do ter put too much confidence 
 in de fade dat er man looks good-natured. 
 Er hongry alligator hab de broades' grin in 
 de animal kingdom. 
 
 Whut sometimes ^passes foh patience am 
 jes' de grit ten bear gain .wifojut lettin' on. 
 
 Hit beat all how people does take t'ings 
 to deyse'fs. I hones'ly 'specks dat ef de 
 moon wus ter drap, thousand's o' men ? ud 
 git mad an' try ter whup somebody foh 
 irowin' it at 'em. 
 
 De wise man tells less dan he knows; 
 de fool tells all dat he knows, and de liar 
 tells mo' dan he knows. 
 
 De fac' dat some men gits erlong by jes* 
 pertendin' ter be wise shows whuter good 
 t'ing sho-'nuflf wisdom mus' be. 
 57 
 
SAYINGS OP 
 
 HJIIIIIKIIIflllftlilfiHIIirilh 
 
 I doan' say ez how dar ain' any sech 
 t'ing ez ghos'es. But I does notice dat de 
 mo' tramps dar is, de mo' ha' n ted houses 
 yoh hyahs 'bout. 
 
 'Bout de wus kin* o' bad luck in de wort 1 
 am gittin' ter b'lieve dat dah is any sech 
 t'ing. 
 
 Mebbe you've noticed dat mos' o* des- 
 here Jonahs is idle and mos' o* de mascots 
 keeps deirse'fs busy. 
 
 Doan' you be skyaht ter battle wif sin, 
 but hoP on ter de ch'ice ob weapons. 
 Many a young man am hus'lin' foh his rent 
 money 'case he stahted in ter punish dese 
 race track folks. 
 
 5* 
 
UNCLE CBEN 
 
 UPS AND DOWNS 
 
 Doan 1 gib up to worriment when luck 
 doan* come yoh way, 
 When all yoh tryin* seems to be in vain, 
 Dean' yoh keep a finking 'bout de shad- 
 ders ob terday v 
 'Case termorow it'll mebbe shine again. 
 Yoh gits de bitter wif de sweet, dc sorrer 
 wif de joy, 
 In dis er any udder sort o' clime, 
 Yoh gotter take dis ole worl' as she comes; 
 you hyah me, boy! 
 Yoh kain* ketch sebben-lebben all de 
 time. 
 
 59 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 II 
 
 Yoh has ter keep a tryin' hah'd, becase — 
 yoh orter know — 
 De happy turn ob fortune nebber came 
 Ter dem dat ain't got courage foh ter take 
 de bones an' frow. 
 But jes' stan's roun' a-lookin at de game. 
 Dis spoht 's er mighly ruinatin' t'ing, I mus* 
 allow, 
 But serbes top'int a moral fur de rhyme; 
 Yoh might ez well git uster disappointment 
 here and now, 
 Yoh kain't ketch sebben-lebben 
 all de time. 
 
 60 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Life am er goad deal like er game o' 
 kyahds; but dah ain' no booby prize foh 
 de men dat gits Ief\ 
 
 Hit am er painful fack dat good luck kin 
 be sp'iled er heap easier dan bad luck kin 
 be repaired. 
 
 Lots er times de man dat keep talkin' 
 'bout waitin' 'tell his ship comes in, ain 1 
 nebber had 'nough hustle in 'im ter sen' no 
 ship out. 
 
 Yoh kain't lib wifout learnin' ez you go 
 'long, but de way yoh gits yer edjycation 
 meks er heap er diffunce. No good comes 
 er teachin' er boy 'rifmetic f'um er policy 
 slip. 
 
 61 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 SONGSTERS 
 
 I 
 
 Ain' got time ter foller ter de playin' o' de 
 band; 
 I's spectin' ob a finer chune to soun' 
 Fur it's mighty welcome music dat comes 
 echoin' fro' de land 
 When de 'simmon is a drappin' tow'ds 
 de groun' 
 So, good-bye. banjo, 
 An' good-bye, fiddle, too; 
 Foh I smells de pone a-bakin' an* I hyah's 
 de 'possum stew, 
 An' I hasn't got no notion foh a-doin' any- 
 thing 
 'Sides a-wishin' an' a-waitin' foh de katy- 
 dids ter sing. 
 
 62 
 
USCLE EBEN 
 
 II 
 
 It's sweet ter hyah de mockin'-bird rejoicin' 
 in de hedge; 
 It's fine ter hab de robin come an' call, 
 And stay jes' long enough ter greet yoh, 
 f urn de window ledge — 
 But we ain't a-gwineter miss 'em in de 
 fall, 
 Fur it's good-bye, banjo, 
 An' it's good-bye, fiddle, too; 
 When de trees is tuhnin' yaller an' de 
 mountain-mist is blue. 
 I's sot mer h'aht on pleasures dat de 
 
 frosty days will bring; 
 I's a-wishin' an' a-waitin' foh de katy-dids 
 ter sing. 
 
 63 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Some white people seems ter regyahd 
 dehse'ves ez belli' so much better' n de 
 res' o' de worl' dat dey doan' hab to 
 show no superiority in dar actions. 
 
 Ef dah warn' some charity foh human 
 defecks, dah couldn' be so much se'f- 
 
 esteem. 
 
 De man dat loves de soun' er his own 
 voice hez mos' alius got po' tas'e. 
 
 Ef yoh wanter flatter er man's vanity 
 good, tell 'im he ain' got none. 
 
 64 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 MISS RAINBOW 
 
 Miss Rainbow was a-primpin' an' a-smilin' 
 
 in de sky, 
 An' a-flirtin' wif de sun-beam ez he went 
 a-prancin' by. 
 An' ez all de people knows, 
 She hab got sech goh'geous clo'se 
 Dat de folks jes' stop dah wu'k ter watch 
 her eb'rywhah she goes. 
 
 But pride mos' alius hab er fall. 'Twus 
 
 bery safe to say, 
 Miss Rainbow gvvineter suffer foh a-flounc- 
 in' dat-a-way. 
 An' she held huh haid so high 
 Dat it wa'n't no use ter try 
 Ter make her see de branches dat she 
 come a-trailin' nigh. 
 
 65 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 An* when de summer days is past an' she's 
 
 done had her play, 
 Mos' eb'ry yeah it happens, when yoh 
 chance ter walk dat way 
 Dat Miss Rainbow you will see, 
 Jes' ez meek ez she kin be, 
 A-shinhV whah she's tangled^frste leafy 
 
 maple tree. 
 
 66 
 
UNCLE EBCN 
 
 Sometimes de houses dat has de bigges' 
 fam'lies an' de littles' tuhkey seems ter hab 
 de mos' gennywine Thanksgibbin' in 'em. 
 
 'Pinions hez alius gotter be considered 
 f'um de stan'p'int o' de pusson dat 
 'spresses 'em. Yoh kain't 'speck de tuh- 
 key ter hab er strong admiration foh er 
 November bill o' f 'ah. 
 
 Some natures is ez puckery ez er puh- 
 simmon. An' often de fros' ob adversity 
 brings out an amount o' sweetness dat am 
 amazin'. 
 
 Many er young gemman hez been recitin' 
 "Beautiful Snow," when he orter been 
 shovelin' it. 
 
 67 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 INVITATION 
 
 Some people seems ter 'magine dat de 
 
 onlyes' time ter sing 
 Is when de early sunshine comes ter coax 
 
 • de buds in spring. 
 An' dey sets deirse'fs to carol jes' ez hand 
 
 ez dey knows how 
 A-follerin' de fashion ob de bird upon de 
 
 bough. 
 But dar isn' any limit ter yearf s jounty 
 
 an its cheer. 
 Dar is songs foh eb'ry season an' a smile 
 
 foh all de year. 
 So raise yoh music, honey; let us hab it 
 
 sweet and strong, 
 A-finin' in de choruses whatebber comes 
 
 erlong. 
 
 68 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Yoh isn' 'bliged to go an' take no lessons 
 
 ter come in, 
 Even oV Miss Owl is welcome when she 
 
 does de bes' she kin. 
 De tree-toad keeps a-chirpin' in a way yoh 
 
 mus' admire, 
 An' de katy-did, she cut er leadin* figger in 
 
 de choir. 
 De zephyr keeps a-hummin' an' a-chunin' 
 
 up de trees 
 Tell yoh hyahs de band a-playin' eb'ry 
 
 time dah comes er breeze. 
 So don't be backward, chillen, but keep 
 
 time wif dishere throng. 
 A-j'inin' in de choruses, whatebber comes 
 
 erlong. 
 
 69 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 IDLENESS 
 
 I seed er feller sittin' an er blinkin' at de sky; 
 
 He didn' go ter sleep; 'twus too much wu'k ter shet 
 
 he eye. 
 He brace he back agin' ertree an' listen at "is ease 
 Terde chirpin'o' de cricket an' de sighin' o' de breeze 
 I tell yer! Dat wus luxury hit done me good ter view 
 Ter sit, a-doin' nuffin', 'case dey's nuffin els ter do. 
 
 So, jes yoh go a-laborin' on an' min' yoh duty right; 
 An' keep a-savin' up an' bein' watchful day an' night 
 An' mebbe yoh will git ter whah yoh toil an* 
 
 troubles close 
 An' dah won' be nuffin' 'tall expected f urn yer but 
 
 repose; 
 Ter whah wif folded nan's an' all yoh tasks done 
 
 good an' true,. 
 Yoh kin sit, a-doin' nuffin', 'case dey's nuffin' else 
 
 ter do. 
 
 70 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Hit am er fack dat hit ain' no use ter 
 worry. But hit am jes ? ez much er fack 
 dat hit ain' no use ter tell nobody dat hit 
 ain' no use ter worry. 
 
 When er man smites yer, turn de udder 
 cheek. Den ef he's mean 'nuflf ter take 
 advantage ob yer Christianity, he deserves 
 de bes' whuppin' yoh knows how ter gib 
 
 Er blessin' in disguise am er good deal 
 like de gemman wif an alias. It may be ez 
 right ez kin be, but yoh nebber gits ober 
 yoh s'picions. 
 
 Yoh kain't measure trouble by de size 
 ob whut caused it. Yoh kin walk 'roun' 
 er rock. But er pebble in de shoe do hurt. 
 
 71 
 
SAYFNGS OF 
 
 M I S T U H HAWKINS 
 
 {A Negro Soubriquet for the North Wind) 
 
 Mistah Hawkins am a hongry 
 He come s'archin' low an' high, 
 
 An' swallowin' up mos' ebryt'ing 
 Dat catches ob his eye. 
 
 He am losin' ob his temper; 
 
 Take a wa^mm' when he roars, 
 'Case he's li'ble foh ter bite yer 
 
 Ef he meet yer out ob doors. 
 
 He et de sunshine as it came 
 
 A-trickiin' V um de Souf 
 An' used de table-clof ob snow 
 
 Fur wipin' off he mouf. 
 
 He et de leaves, he et de grass 
 
 All up from eb'rywhere, 
 Dah's nnffin' lef ter eat, an' dat 
 
 Whut mek } im fuss an' tear. 
 
 72 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Pride am ter chillun whut bakin'-powdah 
 am ter de cookiir. Yoh kain't raise 'em 
 right wifout it, but too much am gwine 
 ter spile 'em sho'. 
 
 Er glass diamon' shirt stud ain't got no 
 magnifyin' powers. On de contrary, hit's 
 eileck am ter mek de man behin' it look 
 mighty small. 
 
 Hit am better ter hab er cabbage under 
 de wais'-coat dan er chrysanf'rnum in de 
 buttonhole. 
 
 Pay 'tention ter yoh own short-comin's 
 'Slid o' lecturin' yoh neighbor. Dar ain' 
 no sense in climbin ober an' pullin' de 
 weeds oufn anudder man's gyahden. 
 
 Hit doan' pay to be too pompous. Eb'ry 
 time yoh reaches ober ter look down on 
 yoh feller men, yoh runs de risk o' losin* 
 yoh balance an' drappin'. 
 
 73 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 SATIETY 
 
 Leaf, he come a-whisperin', 
 
 Droppin' f urn de tree; 
 Stopped ter tell a story 
 
 'Bout hisse'f ter me. 
 Says, "We's see'd de vi'lets, 
 
 Hyurdde robins sing; 
 We's tasted all de pleasures 
 
 Dat de worP kin gib in Spring. 
 * 'We's seen de June-time roses, 
 
 An' we's felt de August rain, 
 We's holp de breezes frolic 
 
 As dey swep' de ripenin' grain. 
 "We has changed our modes' colors 
 
 Foh de kin' de Autumn brings; 
 We has dressed in gol' an' purple 
 
 Like de goh'geousest ob kings. 
 "Dan am nuffin' mo' ter wish foh; 
 
 We has tasted all de bes\ 
 So we's drappin', onregretful, 
 
 'Case we's ready foh ter res'. 
 74 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 I mus' say dat I ain* highly admiracious 
 o' de white folks dat is so busy wif dah 
 social obligations dat dey fohgits dah 
 financial obligations. 
 
 Dah am' so much hahm ahter all in er 
 man's habin' er pooty good 'pinion ob 
 hisse'f ef he hones'ly does his bes' ter lib 
 up ter it. 
 
 Doan' jedge by 'pearances. Many er boy 
 gits er ice-col' baf wif 'is skates on by 
 doin' jes' dat. 
 
 Some folks seem ter go on de principle 
 dat economy consists in goin' wifout de 
 necessities er life so as ter hab de money 
 ter squander on de luxuries. 
 
 75 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Yoh kain' put no dependance on de 
 show people mek. De bass-player in de 
 orchestra hab de bigges' fiddle but he ain* 
 de feller dat sets de step foh de res' o' de 
 inst'ments. 
 
 De hypocrit b'lieves dat de mantle o' 
 charity wus made ter order ter fit him. 
 
ENCLE EBEN 
 
 De only sign er humility some folks 
 shows am ter \W dah voices in loud con- 
 demnation ob dah own faults in somebody 
 else. 
 
 Some men nebber seems ter git ral in- 
 dustrious ontil dey's doin' sumpin* dey's 
 gwineter be sorry foh. 
 
 77 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Braggin' am ve'y frequent an effort ter 
 bolster up se'f respeck. 
 
 I nebbah coul' see de sense in white 
 folks wifholdin' de crust er bread V urn 
 de needy ter save up foh banquets fer peo- 
 ple dat'll jes' go 'way an' talk erbout 'em 
 an 1 am' hongry nohow. 
 
 De mercury in de fermometer am jes' 
 like folks. Hit am mighty onpleasant com- 
 pany when hit gits ter feelin' too big an' 
 likewise when it gits ter actin' small. 
 
 Flattery hab great power. De man dat 
 'grees wif eb'rybody dat talks ter him 
 gits de reputation o' bein monstrous wise. 
 
 78 
 
UNCLE EEEE 
 
 AN EVENING'S EXPERIENCE 
 
 When de sun puts on his golden gown 
 
 Wif de shiny purple seams. 
 An' lays him down in twilight town 
 
 Foh er res' in de house o' dreams, 
 I takes de tiddle an' I takes de bow 
 
 An' I sets whah de shadows creep. 
 An' I plays 'imfast an' I plays 'im slow 
 
 Till I plays me mos' ter sleep. 
 
 Miss Moon comes over de sky right soon 
 
 Wif er smile dat am fine ter see; 
 An' I stop de tune an' I say "Miss Moon, 
 
 Will yoh promenade wif me?" 
 It's fie, Miss Moon — it's fie, foh shame. 
 
 I didn' think yoh'd stoop 
 Foh ter lead me on till I's clean done gone 
 
 Run inter a chicken-coop! 
 
 79 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 Doair be too skyaht ob gittin' lef . De 
 chicken dat sleeps er little way back in de 
 coop may be de las' ter git 'is brekfas' but 
 he ain' so easp grabbed off de roos\ 
 
 Hit am er gret thing ter be consistent 
 but doan' overdo it. De clock in front er 
 de jeweler's, dat hez p'inted ter twenty 
 minutes past eight foh de las* sebben er 
 eight yeahs am one er de mos consistent 
 Tings dat is. 
 
 Eb'ry cloud hab er silber linin". De 
 trouble am dat er heap er men am' got 
 'nuff inergy ter hustle an* tuhn de cloud 
 inside out. 
 
 De two mos' foolish folks on top er 
 groun* am de man dat'll trust anybody 
 an' de man dat* 11 trust nobody. 
 80 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Hit am propah 'nufTter shout 'bout hon- 
 esty bein' de bes' policy, pervided yoh 
 kin back up yoh remahks wif er few re- 
 ceipted bills. 
 
 De man dat hab de mos' advice ter gib 
 erway doan' gin'r'ly look like 'twas much 
 good ter him. 
 
 Fancy 'complishments ain' alius whut 
 counts in de long run. Plain walkin' gits 
 erlong er heap faster dan tuhnin' somer- 
 saults. 
 
 Even if de fault-finder git de bes' ob 
 t'ings, his disposition am sech as ter pre- 
 vent his r'ally inj'yin' em. 
 81 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 BLISSFUL IGNORANCE 
 
 De tuhkey am er foolish bird, 'case when 
 
 1 chop de wood, 
 I drap de ax agin.de log an' dah she stuck 
 
 an* stood. 
 Dat tuhkey come erJong: he did — I scarce 
 
 could trus* de facks — 
 An' sot himself foh roostin' on de handle 
 
 of dat ax. 
 
 \ tor him, "Mistah Tuhkey, yoh is actin' 
 
 mighty fine; 
 Yoh done got pas' Thanksgibbin* but 
 
 dan's Christmas day in line." 
 82 
 
UNCLE ECEN 
 
 He jes' winked haughty-like an' showed 'is 
 
 tail in gohgeous stacks 
 An' sot hisself foh roostin' on de handle 
 
 ob de ax 
 
 1 shohiy laughed, I did ter see dat tuhkey 
 
 actin' so; 
 But human folks is like him, as we all hab 
 
 cause ter know. 
 Dey prinks in high positions wif er pride 
 
 dat won't relax — 
 An' all de time a-roostin' on de handle ob 
 
 de ax. 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 COMPARISON 
 
 Doan' jedge nuffin' by its size, 
 'Case yoh nebber should; 
 
 Reed bird's smaller dan de hen 
 But twenty times ez good. 
 
 84 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Things seem ter go by contraries. Hit 
 am alius de mos' dashful man in de pahty 
 dat am requested ter kyahve de tuhkey. 
 
 De boun'less wisdom er nature am 
 shown by de fack dat er cullud gemman 
 doan' hanker after ter'pin, while de white 
 man tuhns up 'is nose at 'possum. 
 
 Er purTick lady doan' keep talkin' 'bout 
 how good tuhkey's gwinter tas\ ter her 
 neighbors dat can't afford nuffin' but 
 pohk. 
 
 Doan' do nuffin' by halves. Er snow 
 storm ain' nigh so onpop'lar ef it hoi's out 
 long 'nuff ter mek sleighin'. 
 85 
 
SAYINGS OF 
 
 HORTICULTURAL 
 
 ! has libbed out in de wood ontil I knows 
 
 de trees 'round hyah; 
 An' dalrs one o' dem, I tells yon, meks 
 
 me puzzle eb'ry y'ah; 
 Dar ain' no use o' lookin' in yer botany 
 
 ter see 
 What kin' O' fruit yoh' 11 gather when yoh 
 
 picks de Christmas Tree. 
 
 86 
 
UNCLE EBEN 
 
 Er man doan' hafter be no elocutionist 
 in order ter mek "Merry Christmas" 
 soun' good. 
 
 When er man runs inter debt ter buy 
 Christmas presents he acks like 'is frien's 
 wus de kin' er folks dat can't 'predate 
 nuffin' wifout knowin' whut hit cost. 
 
 Ter show de true spirit oV good will ter 
 yer feller men, yoh orter begin de twenty- 
 sixth ob eb'ry December ter mek prepar- 
 ations foh nex' Christmas. 
 
 People doesn' rally begin ter git oP tell 
 dey can't inj'y dahse'fs at Christmas time. 
 
 87 
 
SATI5GS OF 
 
 w*it terpayi New lTaVs caft 
 
 ; : ~t : : : ~in ;- i" .?!•> t ;• : - 
 : : :- r- ;:: :::: ; : : = : 
 
 
 f **; 
 
 -■: 
 
DA'S ALL 
 
Seen through the Presses by 
 WILL A. PAGE at His Print- 
 ing Shop No. 937 R Street 
 Washington; District of Col- 
 umbia. 
 
 Finished for the Binder Nov. 
 1896. 
 
Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
 Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
 Treatment Date: Dec. 2007 
 
 PreservationTechnologies 
 
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