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ANECDOTICAL OLIO 
 
 BEING A COLLECTION OP 
 
 LTTERARY, MORAL, RELIGIOUS, AND MISCELLANEOUS 
 ANECDOTES. 
 
 SELECTED AND ARRANGED 
 
 BY THE REV. MESSRS. HOES AND WAY. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS, 
 
 FRANKLIN SQUARE. 
 
 1858. 
 
^ 
 
 2/* v 
 
 (o 
 
 VVSs 
 
 S 
 
 Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1838, by 
 
 Harper & Brothers, 
 in the Clerk's Office of the Southern District of New- York. 
 
 HKOBTANGE 
 HAMILTON OOL LIBY 
 
 OCT 2- 1939 
 
*<3 
 
 ¥? 
 
RECOMMENDATIONS 
 
 ADDRESSED TO THE COMPILERS OF THE WORK. 
 
 FROM ALVAN STEWART, ESQ. 
 
 Gentlemen — I have examined the manuscripts in part of a volume you intend 
 to publish under the name of " Literary, Moral, Religious, and Miscellaneous 
 Anecdotes," with great interest and pleasure. The work, as the compilation 
 of a vast number of extracts, is peculiarly happy. In fact, very many of those 
 literary fragments may be considered the jewels of English literature. The 
 tendency of your book, wherever read, will be to supersede works of romance 
 and fiction ; it will cultivate a new taste. In fact, that person can hardly claim 
 any sympathies in common with our humanity who does not find something 
 to interest him in the various accounts of men and things which will be found 
 in this book. Allow me to say, no parlour or library should be without a book 
 of this character ; for into whose hands soever it may fall, it will improve the 
 thoughtless, mend the froward, while it adds dignity to virtue, and confidence 
 to truth. Most respectfully, I am vour friend, 
 
 ALVAN STEWART. 
 
 FROM REV. BERIAH GREEN, PRESIDENT OF ONEIDA INSTITUTE, AND REV. 
 AMOS SAVAGE, PASTOR OF BLEECKER-STREET PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. 
 
 A collection of well-authenticated anecdotes, happily selected, on the various 
 topics which your design embraces, can hardly fail to be attractive and useful. 
 Attractive from the very nature of an anecdote, it must be for all. Useful, too, 
 as presenting truth in forms equally striking and intelligible ; at the same time 
 fastening it on the memory, and making it matter for reflection. To instruct- 
 ed it may prove a source whence appropriate illustrations may be drawn. In 
 many cases, too, where amusement only is sought, improvement will be gained. 
 
 After some examination of the materials you have been collecting, I wish 
 vou success in your design. Yours respectfully and affectionately, 
 
 B. GREEN. 
 
 From having examined a considerable portion of the anecdotes which you 
 propose to publish, I can most cordially concur in the above recommendation, 
 and think it will be both an amusing and useful work. Yours respectfully, 
 
 AMOS SAVAGE. 
 
 FROM THE REV. ELIAS BOWEN, PRESIDING ELDER, ONEIDA CONFERENCE, AND 
 REV. DANIEL ELDREDGE, PASTOR OF BROAD-STREET BAPTIST CHURCH. 
 
 From a general glance at the manuscript you propose publishing under the 
 title of " Literary, Moral, Religious, and Miscellaneous Anecdotes," I am in- 
 clined to think favourably of its character, and have no doubt it will be es- 
 teemed a valuable acquisition to any library. The tendency of such a work 
 doubtless will be to supersede in a great measure the circulation of fictitious 
 publications, and give solid instruction while it entertains. This, I am satis- 
 fied, is a principal object you have in view ; and one which your anecdotes, 
 valuable in themselves (so far as I have had the means of knowing), will be 
 almost sure to achieve from the advantage of a judicious classification. 
 Yours, with much esteem, 
 
 ELIAS BOWEN. 
 
 From a partial perusal of your copious selection of anecdotes, I concur in 
 the above recommendation. Yours respectfully, 
 
 DANIEL ELDREDGE. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Anecdotes are common property. Their usefulness, if 
 judiciously selected, is admitted by all. They constitute em- 
 phatically ihe pleasing art of instruction in science, morals, 
 and religion. There is a large mass of anecdotes in the 
 world, but it is a lamentable fact that a great proportion of 
 them is from the witty vulgar and profane, while here and 
 there a bright gem is found. To cull and arrange judicious- 
 ly is no small task. To accomplish this, no necessary la- 
 bour or expense has been spared. Our only apology for un- 
 dertaking the work is, that it appeared to us providential ; 
 while such a work, important in itself, seemed to be greatly 
 needed by the community. We are fully aware that this is 
 an age of criticism ; but while some are pleased with no pro- 
 duction except their own, many, we hope, will, by a careful 
 perusal of this, be interested and profited. 
 
 COMPILERS. 
 
 Utica, 1838. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 ABSTRACTION. 
 
 Page 
 Sir Isaac Newton . . • -82 
 
 Wm. Mason, Esq 83 
 
 Absence of Mind . . • .83 
 
 La Fontaine 83 
 
 Death of Archimedes . . .83 
 Sir Isaac Newton and the Kittens 83 
 An Absent Genius . .84 
 
 AMUSEMENTS OF THE 
 LEARNED ... 48 
 
 ARTS, THE FINE. 
 
 Myron 
 
 Painting from Nature . 
 
 Praxiteles 
 
 Lost Art 
 
 Monochromatic Painting 
 Mosaic Painting . 
 Wood Engraving . 
 Copperplate Engraving . 
 
 Blunders 
 
 Trial of Conjugal Affection . 
 
 AFFLICTIONS. 
 
 It was good for me that I was af- 
 flicted 
 
 Trials productive of good 
 
 Dr. Chandler 
 
 AMERICAN CHARACTERISTICS 
 Hancock and Franklin . . . 133 
 American rustic Hospitality . . 134 
 On Petitioning .... 134 
 Gen. C. C. Pinckney . . .135 
 
 ASSOCIATION. 
 
 
 Nautical Sermon . 
 
 85 
 
 Napoleon .... 
 
 85 
 
 Native African 
 
 86 
 
 Remarkable Remedy 
 
 86 
 
 AVARICE (See Covetousness). 
 
 BENEVOLENCE. 
 
 
 Fenelon 
 
 117 
 
 Alfred the Great . 
 
 
 117 
 
 King of Prussia 
 
 
 118 
 
 Dr. Crow 
 
 
 118 
 
 Safe Investment . 
 
 
 119 
 
 Dr. S. Wright 
 
 
 119 
 
 Where it should be 
 
 
 119 
 
 As it should be 
 
 
 119 
 
 Washington . 
 
 
 119 
 
 Charitable Pastor . 
 
 
 120 
 
 Isle of Man 
 
 
 120 
 
 Example for Physicians 
 
 
 121 
 
 Page 
 John Howard . . . .121 
 
 Kosciusko 122 
 
 African Sympathy .... 122 
 Feeling in the right Place . . 122 
 
 Do quickly 123 
 
 Rev. John Wesley . . . .123 
 The Choice . ... 127 
 
 The Elgin Family . . . .127 
 
 BIBLE. 
 Hint to Skeptics . . . .253 
 Neglect of the Bible . . .254 
 Attachment to the Bible . . 254 
 The Devil Outwitted . . .255 
 Bible an Obscure Book . . . 255 
 
 Mr. Locke 255 
 
 Dr. Johnson 256 
 
 The Bible the best Book . . 256 
 Infidel Prophecies .... 256 
 Thomas Paine .... 257 
 Stage Anecdote .... 257 
 
 Legacv 258 
 
 An Irish Child . . . .258 
 
 A Bible lent 258 
 
 What is Truth ? . . . .259 
 Translation of the Bible . . 259 
 
 Bible its own Apologist . . . 260 
 An old Woman and the Shepherd's 
 
 Boy 261 
 
 Bible easily understood . . . 261 
 Short Rules for Studying the Bible 262 
 
 BIGOTRY, PREJUDICE, &c. 
 
 Dr. Berkeley 306 
 
 Mr. Staunton . . . .306 
 
 Luther 306 
 
 Dr. Cheyneli 306 
 
 Bigoted Hearer . . . .307 
 
 CARDS. 
 Locke . . : . . 197 
 
 Addison 197 
 
 Mr. Dodd 197 
 
 Gambling-houses at New-Orleans 198 
 
 Gaming 198 
 
 Elizabeth Edmonds . . .198 
 Mr. Romaine . . . .199 
 
 CHRISTIANITY. 
 The Character of Jesus Christ by 
 
 an Infidel . . . .243 
 Witnesses to the Dignity and Glory 
 
 of Christ 243 
 
 Burden of the New Song . . 244 
 Christianity the best System of 
 
 Morals 
 No Substitute for Christianity 
 
 245 
 245 
 
Vlll 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 Comfort of Religion . . .246 
 Sir John Mason . . . .246 
 The Brand plucked out of the Fire 247 
 
 No Religion 247 
 
 Rock of Calvary . . . .248 
 Argument of a Jew against Idolatry 248 
 Jew's Messiah .... 248 
 Secretary Walsingham . . . 249 
 Remote Cause of Reformation . 249 
 Benefit of Religion . . .249 
 
 Excellent Advice .... 250 
 Liberality of Sentiment . . . 250 
 The Happy Man . . . .250 
 Mr. Summerfield . . . .251 
 A Clergyman's Life . . .251 
 
 Experience 251 
 
 The Divine Approbation . . 252 
 Is there a Hell ? . . . .252 
 A Pertinent Question . . . 252 
 Eternity 252 
 
 EVIL SPEAKING (See Slander). 
 
 CHRISTIANS, DYING. 
 
 Mr. Bruce 333 
 
 Addison 334 
 
 Bishop Cowper .... 334 
 
 Dr. Goodwin 334 
 
 Mr. Hervey 334 
 
 Wesley and M'Kendree . . .335 
 
 Mr. Colding 335 
 
 Converted Jewess .... 335 
 
 Spener 336 
 
 Remarkable Presentiment of Death 336 
 Death 337 
 
 CHRISTIANS, FAITHFUL. 
 Pious Bookseller . . . .290 
 Souls on Board .... 291 
 Punctual Hearer . . . .291 
 Deaf Woman a constant Attendant 291 
 
 CHRISTIANS, UNFAITHFUL. 
 
 Folly of renouncing Christ . . 292 
 
 Force of Custom . . . .292 
 
 Protestants reproved . . . 292 
 
 The late Hearer . . . .293 
 
 A Hypocrite 293 
 
 Barren Professors reproiied . . 294 
 
 Faith and Works . ' . . 294 
 
 CHRISTIAN DUTIES, VARIOUS. 
 
 Forgiving one another . . . 295 
 Mistaken Doctor . . . .295 
 
 Perseverance 296 
 
 Dr. Pay son's Message to Young 
 
 Ministers . . . .296 
 
 John Randolph's Mother . . 296 
 Effects of Parental Indulgence . 296 
 Parents and Children . . .297 
 
 Deliberation 297 
 
 Example 297 
 
 A Good Conscience . . . 298 
 
 Humility 298 
 
 Mr. Fletcher 209 
 
 
 Page 
 
 I The Minister's Prayer-book 
 
 . 299 
 
 Civility .... 
 
 . 299 
 
 COVETOUSNESS. 
 
 Mr. Ostervald 
 
 310 
 
 Constantine the Great . 
 
 . 311 
 
 Mr. Elwes 
 
 . 311 
 
 Daniel Dancer, Esq. 
 
 . 312 
 
 Three Misers . 
 
 . 313 
 
 Petersburgh Miser . 
 
 . 313 
 
 Vandille .... 
 
 . 313 
 
 A Covetous Bishop 
 
 . 314 
 
 Fair Award 
 
 . 314 
 
 Avaricious Characters . 
 
 . 315 
 
 Vanity of the World 
 
 . 316 
 
 COLOURS. 
 
 
 Singular Cases of Inability to dis 
 
 tinguish Colours 
 
 , 47 
 
 CONVERSIONS, REMARKABLE. 
 
 Highwayman reclaimed 
 
 . 286 
 
 "He died." 
 
 . 287 
 
 Rev. Mr. M . 
 
 . 287 
 
 A Lady .... 
 
 . 288 
 
 Poor Robber . 
 
 . 288 
 
 CRUELTY 
 
 . 397 
 
 CUSTOM AND HA1 
 
 3IT. 
 
 Force of Habit 
 
 . 94 
 
 Mathematical Habit 
 
 . 94 
 
 Old Habits . 
 
 . 95 
 
 Force of Habit 
 
 . 95 
 
 The Thread of Discourse 
 
 . 95 
 
 CRITICISM. 
 
 
 Punctuation . 
 
 . 89 
 
 Michael Angelo 
 
 . 89 
 
 Royal Criticism 
 
 . 90 
 
 Confusion of Words 
 
 . 90 
 
 Vaugelas 
 
 . 91 
 
 Plato and Aristotle 
 
 . 91 
 
 The Nominalists and Realist 
 
 3 . 91 
 
 Blind Controversialists . 
 
 . 91 
 
 The Cobbler . 
 
 . 92 
 
 Bishop Patrick 
 
 . 92 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton . 
 
 . 92 
 
 Too big a Booh ! . 
 
 . 92 
 
 The two Knights . 
 
 . 93 
 
 DANCING. 
 
 
 A Blessing on the Dance 
 
 . 200 
 
 Sensible Query 
 
 . 201 
 
 A good Reason for Dancing 
 
 . 201 
 
 Dancing before a King . 
 
 . 201 
 
 Clerical Dancing . 
 
 . 201 
 
 DUELLING. 
 
 
 Frederic the Great 
 
 . 153 
 
 A Swiss Retort 
 
 . 153 
 
 Judge Thacher 
 
 . 153 
 
 The Duel prevented 
 Remarkable Duel . 
 
 . 153 
 
 . 154 
 
 Bible the best Sword 
 
 . 155 
 
 Dr. A. Clark on Duelling 
 
 . 156 
 
 How to treat a Bully 
 
 . 157 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 JX 
 
 Page | 
 Gen. Hamilton . . . .157 
 American Congress fifty Years ago 159 
 True Courage . . . .159 
 
 The Indian's Reply to a Challenge 160 
 
 Curiosity 160 
 
 First Duel in America . . .161 
 Oliver Cromwell . . . .161 
 
 EARLY RISING. 
 
 Buffon 114 
 
 Frederic II 114 
 
 Dean Swift 115 
 
 Age of early Risers . . .115 
 
 EDUCATION. 
 Apt Version .68 
 
 EMINENT PERSONS RAISED 
 FROM LOW STATIONS. 
 
 Abbot 33 
 
 Tillotson 33 
 
 Pope Sixtus V 33 
 
 Benedict XII 34 
 
 Primislaus 34 
 
 Franklin -34 
 
 Prideaux 34 
 
 Poor Student in Danger . . 35 
 Franklin's Entrance into Philadel- 
 phia 35 
 
 Hunter and Cullen . . 37 
 Samuel Drew . . . .37 
 Di. Johnson 38 
 
 ELOQUENCE. 
 
 Page 
 
 Hooker 317 
 
 The Pious Moravian . . . 317 
 Lady H 317 
 
 Cicero . 
 Pericles . 
 Edward IV. 
 Tecumseh 
 Patrick Henry 
 A Secret 
 Logan . 
 Effect . 
 Physiognomy 
 Bold Appeal 
 Mr. Burke 
 Seneca Indians 
 Patrick Henry 
 
 W 
 
 97 
 
 97 
 
 97 
 
 98 
 
 99 
 
 99 
 
 100 
 
 100 
 
 101 
 
 101 
 
 102 
 
 103 
 
 ELOQUENCE OF THE PULPIT. 
 Jeremy Taylor .... 104 
 
 Whitfield 
 Bigotry . 
 Saurin 
 Massillon 
 Animation 
 True Eloquence 
 
 Summerfield Preaching to Children 109 
 
 ETIQUETTE. 
 A Levee Accident .... 216 
 Victim of Etiquette . . .216 
 Parliamentary Etiquette . . 217 
 Satisfying a Coquette . . . 217 
 Spanish Etiquette .... 217 
 
 EXAMPLE, INFLUENCE OF. 
 Jewel . . ... 316 
 
 B 
 
 The Pugilists 
 
 . 318 
 
 Good Examples Neglected 
 
 . 318 
 
 EXPEDIENCY. 
 
 
 William Williams . 
 
 . 112 
 
 Honour Dearer than Life 
 
 . 113 
 
 Better Rule than Expediency 
 
 . 113 
 
 Do Something 
 
 . 113 
 
 FASHION. 
 
 
 The Man of Fashion 
 
 . 208 
 
 Origin of Fashion . 
 
 . 208 
 
 No Judge 
 
 . 208 
 
 Fashionable Slander 
 
 . 208 
 
 Addison . 
 
 . 209 
 
 Mourning Costume 
 
 . 210 
 
 English and Scots . 
 
 . 211 
 
 Contrast 
 
 . 211 
 
 Roman Women 
 
 . 211 
 
 Fans .... 
 
 . 212 
 
 High and Low Headdresses 
 
 . 212 
 
 Inventress 
 
 . 213 
 
 English Characteristic . 
 
 . 213 
 
 FEMALES (See Wor 
 
 un). 
 
 FEMALE BEAUTY AND 
 
 ORNA- 
 
 MENT. 
 
 
 Choice of Clovis 
 
 . 214 
 
 Fortune well told . 
 
 . 215 
 
 Beauty .... 
 
 . 216 
 
 FEMALE CON STAN 
 
 CY. 
 
 Captives before Cyrus . 
 
 . 220 
 
 Paulina .... 
 
 . 220 
 
 Affecting Meeting . 
 
 . 221 
 
 Galatian Widow 
 
 . 222 
 
 Melancholy Instance, &c. 
 
 . 222 
 
 Bonaparte 
 
 . 223 
 
 Indian Virtue . 
 
 . 223 
 
 Female Captive 
 
 . 223 
 
 Female Chastity 
 
 . 224 
 
 The Widow and Bishop 
 
 . 224 
 
 LEARNED FEMALI 
 
 :s. 
 
 Queen Elizabeth . 
 
 . 39 
 
 Lady Jane Grey 
 
 . 39 
 
 Mary Cunitz . 
 
 . 39 
 
 Margaret 
 
 *. 39 
 
 Ann Maria Sherman 
 
 . 40 
 
 Constantia Grierson 
 
 . 40 
 
 Mary Queen of Scots 
 
 . 40 
 
 Useful Females 
 
 . 41 
 
 Queen Mary II. 
 
 . 41 
 
 Intrepid Enterprise 
 
 . 41 
 
 Mrs. Montague 
 
 . 42 
 
 Mrs. Sheridan 
 
 . 42 
 
 FORBEARANCE AND 
 
 KIND- 
 
 NESS. 
 
 
 Philip .... 
 
 . 177 
 
 Mr. Burkitt . 
 
 . 178 
 
 Mr. Henderson 
 
 . 178 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh 
 
 . 17« 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 Rev. Mr. Clarke . . . .179 
 
 Paesiello 179 
 
 Pericles 179 
 
 Cowper . . . . . .180 
 
 Duke of Marlborough . . .180 
 
 Son of Ali 180 
 
 Magnanimous .... 180 
 
 Patient Shopkeeper . . .181 
 
 FORTITUDE. 
 
 Sir Thomas More . . . .129 
 
 Spartans 129 
 
 Ignorance of Fear . . . .130 
 
 John Knox 130 
 
 Female Fortitude . . . .131 
 
 FORWARDNESS 
 A Bite .... 
 Pedantry Reproved 
 Honourable Descent 
 Consequence . 
 
 FLATTERY. 
 
 Domitius 
 
 GENIUS. 
 
 Different Views of Genius 
 
 Precocity of Genius 
 
 Pascal .... 
 
 Candiac .... 
 
 Sir Philip Sidney . 
 
 Dr. Watts 
 
 Musical Infant 
 
 Self-taught Mechanist . 
 
 Christopher Smart 
 
 Master Clayton 
 
 Bacon .... 
 
 Blacklock 
 
 Crichton 
 
 Franklin 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton . 
 
 Bayle .... 
 
 Imitators 
 
 Genius made by Accident 
 
 Mad Authors . 
 
 HONESTY 
 Dr. A. Clarke . 
 Honesty and Bravery 
 Honesty best Policy 
 Goldsmith 
 Smollett . 
 True Honesty 
 
 HUMANITY. 
 George the First 
 Massacre of the Huguenots 
 Francis II. 
 
 Caesar .... 
 Humane Driver Rewarded 
 Henry IV. 
 Hospitality Rewarded . 
 
 IGNORANCE. 
 Adam Clarke . 
 A learned Discovery 
 A Water Quack 
 
 150 
 150 
 150 
 151 
 
 152 
 
 110 
 110 
 111 
 111 
 112 
 112 
 
 182 
 ]82 
 L82 
 183 
 183 
 183 
 
 181 
 
 
 Page 
 
 Titles 
 
 . 44 
 
 Tyrants Enemies of Knowledge 
 
 . 45 
 
 Learned Quack 
 
 . 45 
 
 Self-knowledge 
 
 . 45 
 
 Farmer's Son 
 
 46 
 
 Arrogant Collegiate 
 
 . 46 
 
 Lieutenant-governor Phillips 
 
 . 46 
 
 INDOLENCE. 
 
 
 Spinola . . 
 
 . 202 
 
 Idlers 
 
 . 202 
 
 Silver Hook .... 
 
 . 202 
 
 INDUSTRY. 
 
 
 Royal Gardener 
 
 . 203 
 
 Reward of Industry 
 
 . 204 
 
 Peter the Great 
 
 . 204 
 
 How to pay for a Farm . 
 
 . 205 
 
 INGRATITUDE. 
 
 
 Macedo 
 
 . 147 
 
 The Ungrateful Guest . 
 
 . 148 
 
 INVENTIONS AND DISCOVER- 
 
 IES. 
 
 
 Electricity .... 
 
 . 49 
 
 Galvanism .... 
 
 . 50 
 
 Early Printing 
 
 . 50 
 
 Chronology of Printing . 
 
 . 51 
 
 Printer's Widow . 
 
 . 53 
 
 S pence's Perpetual Motion . 
 
 . 53 
 
 Spectacles .... 
 
 . 55 
 
 Michael Angelo 
 
 . 55 
 
 Printing 
 
 . 55 
 
 Mezzotinto .... 
 
 . 56 
 
 Speaking Scrolls of Old 
 
 . 56 
 
 Sculpture .... 
 
 . 57 
 
 Bills of Exchange . 
 
 . 57 
 
 Galileo 
 
 . 57 
 
 Circulation of the Blood 
 
 . 59 
 
 Vasco de Gama 
 
 . 59 
 
 Glass 
 Philosopher's Stone 
 Pins 
 
 Hol- 
 
 JUSTICE. 
 
 The Conscientious Judge 
 The Inflexible Juryman 
 The Divine Law Magnified 
 The Irritated Magistrate 
 Responsibility of Judges in 
 
 land 
 M. de Maintenon . 
 Petition of the Horse 
 Solon .... 
 Socrates 
 Aristides 
 
 JEALOUSY. 
 
 Denon 225 
 
 LITIGATION. 
 
 61 
 
 168 
 169 
 170 
 170 
 
 171 
 171 
 171 
 172 
 172 
 172 
 
 Lawyer and Client 
 Acquittal Extraordinary 
 Humane Juryman . 
 Long Suit 
 
 174 
 174 
 174 
 174 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 XI 
 
 
 
 Page 
 
 
 Page 
 
 Exaggeration 
 
 . 175 
 
 Contrast . 
 
 . 266 
 
 Accusation and Acquittal 
 
 175 
 
 Eternity .... 
 
 266 
 
 Deny Everything and Insist upon 
 
 Encouragement to Preachers 
 
 . 266 
 
 Proof .... 
 
 . 175 
 
 Dr. Magee 
 
 267 
 
 Bon Mot .... 
 
 . 175 
 
 President Davies . 
 
 268 
 
 Counsel and Witness 
 
 176 
 
 Subjects for the Pulpit . 
 
 . 269 
 
 Mistaking Sides 
 
 . 176 
 
 The humble Preacher the most use- 
 
 Peter the Great 
 
 . 177 
 
 ful . 
 
 269 
 
 
 
 Examples of Diligence . 
 
 . 270 
 
 LUXURY. 
 
 
 A diligent Preacher 
 
 . 270 
 
 Source of Luxury . 
 
 . 146 
 
 Rev. Mr. Pope 
 
 . 271 
 
 Languages or the World 
 
 48 
 
 Short Allowance . 
 Whitefield 
 
 . 271 
 . 271 
 
 LIBRARIES. 
 
 
 Newyear's Present 
 
 . 271 
 
 N. Niccoli .... 
 
 78 
 
 Dr. Mather 
 
 . 271 
 
 Cicero 
 
 78 
 
 MINISTERS, UNFAITHFI 
 
 Proper Books 
 
 The Bibliomania . 
 
 Ancient Value of Books 
 
 79 
 80 
 81 
 
 Call to preach 
 
 Negligent Minister reproved 
 
 . 272 
 . 272 
 
 Translating .... 
 
 81 
 
 MISSIONARY. 
 
 
 Littleton's Dictionary 
 
 82 
 
 Danish Converts . 
 
 . 344 
 
 MARTYRS. 
 
 
 Doing all to the Glory of God 
 
 . 344 
 
 James the Less 
 Polycarp 
 John Lambert 
 
 
 338 
 338 
 340 
 
 Russian Boy . 
 
 A Lady .... 
 
 Missionary Box 
 
 A Child . . , . 
 
 . 345 
 . 345 
 . 345 
 . 346 
 
 George Wishart 
 
 
 341 
 
 
 
 John Bradford 
 
 
 341 
 
 MISCELLANY. 
 
 
 Mr. L. Saunders 
 
 
 342 
 
 Apologies 
 
 . 353 
 
 Thomas Bilney 
 
 
 342 
 
 Behind-hand . 
 
 . 353 
 
 John Huss 
 
 
 342 
 
 Burns .... 
 
 . 353 
 
 Martyrdom of a little Boy 
 
 343 
 
 Where you ought to have bee 
 
 n . 354 
 
 
 
 Spanish Honour 
 African Honour 
 
 . 354 
 
 MATRIMONY. 
 
 
 . 355 
 
 Choice of a Husband 
 
 226 
 
 Humanity 
 
 . 355 
 
 Husband and Wife 
 
 226 
 
 Time .... 
 
 . 356 
 
 A Monster .... 
 
 227 
 
 The Philosopher outdone 
 
 . 356 
 
 Apology for Turkish Polygamy 
 
 227 
 
 Influence of the Passions 
 
 . 356 
 
 Queen's Arrival 
 
 227 
 
 Mozart's Requiem . 
 
 . 356 
 
 Marriage in Lapland 
 
 228 
 
 Curing a Hypochondriac 
 
 . 359 
 
 Marrying Youth and Age 
 
 228 
 
 The Dead Alive 
 
 . 359 
 
 Matrimonial Export 
 
 229 
 
 A benevolent Sailor 
 
 . 361 
 
 African Lovers 
 
 229 
 
 Admiral Colpoys . . ■ 
 
 . 361 
 
 A Literary Wife 
 
 231 
 
 A true King . 
 
 • 361 
 
 Literary Men . 
 
 232 
 
 Instability 
 
 . 362 
 
 MEMORY. 
 
 
 Curiosity Reproved 
 Natural Disposition 
 
 . 362 
 . 362 
 
 Strength of Memory 
 
 87 
 
 Vulgarity outwitted {By Billy 
 
 Hib- 
 
 Bishop Jewel .... 
 
 87 
 
 bard) .... 
 
 . 362 
 
 Prof. Porson 
 
 88 
 
 We must live . 
 
 . 363 
 
 Alick 
 
 88 
 
 We must die . 
 
 . 363 
 
 
 
 Louis XI. .... 
 
 . 363 
 
 METEMPSYCHOSIS. 
 
 
 The Fool's Reproof 
 
 . 364 
 
 Origin of the Doctrine of Transmi- 
 
 
 Pious Philosopher . 
 
 . 364 
 
 gration 
 
 396 
 
 Human Nature 
 
 . 364 
 
 MINISTERS, FAITHFUL. 
 
 
 The condescending General 
 Expositors despised 
 
 . 365 
 . 365 
 
 Latimer 
 
 264 
 
 The Family Expositor . 
 
 . 366 
 
 Burnet 
 
 264 
 
 The blind American Preacher 
 
 . 366 
 
 Perseverance 
 
 264 
 
 Original Anecdote . 
 
 . 366 
 
 Mr. Hervey . . . 
 
 264 
 
 Rev. Mr. Buckminster . 
 
 . 366 
 
 A profitable Rebuke 
 
 265 
 
 Retort Courteous . 
 
 . 366 
 
 A Contrast 
 
 265 
 
 The Presence of God 
 
 . 367 
 
 Scorners rebuked .... 
 
 266 
 
 A Sting in the Conscience 
 
 . 367 
 
 Sincerity 
 
 
 266 
 
 The Rev John Fletcher . 
 
 . 367 
 
xu 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Democritus 
 
 The Report Discredited . 
 
 Bishop Asbury 
 
 God sees Me . 
 
 Bring ye all the Tithes, &c. 
 
 The Rich Man Confounded 
 
 Interesting Anecdote 
 
 Heaven .... 
 
 Plays .... 
 
 Human Reason 
 
 Pause .... 
 
 An Atheist 
 
 Feeling of Infidels . 
 
 Another .... 
 
 Impiety .... 
 
 How true is Rom. viii., 7 ? 
 
 Collins .... 
 
 Scoffers Reproved . 
 
 Ignorant Infidel 
 
 Voltaire .... 
 
 Infidel Corrected . 
 
 Gibbon .... 
 
 Remarks of Cecil . 
 
 Influence of Infidelity 
 
 The Caviller Reproved . 
 
 The Atheist Convinced . 
 
 Colonel Ethan Allen 
 
 " The Devil is Dead" 
 
 Robespierre . 
 
 Destruction of Robespierre 
 
 Prophecy fulfilled . 
 
 Voltaire's last Hours 
 
 A Blush .... 
 
 Vehemence 
 
 Hume the Atheist . 
 
 The Philistine's Head . 
 
 Voltaire and Chesterfield 
 
 New Union . 
 
 A Fool answered according to his 
 Folly . 
 
 J. J. Rousseau 
 
 Popery .... 
 
 Romish Superstition 
 
 St. Francis . . 
 
 Priestcraft Outwitted 
 
 Transubstantiation 
 
 Arrogance 
 
 Districts in Purgatory . 
 
 Popish Mysteries, Miracles, 
 Ceremonies 
 
 Prince Radzivil 
 
 A Miracle 
 
 Modern Miracle-monger 
 
 The Inquisition 
 
 Metempsychosis 
 
 Origin of the Doctrine of Transmi- 
 gration 
 
 Cruelty .... 
 
 Nero .... 
 
 Charles IX. . 
 
 King of Russia 
 
 Heroic Negro 
 
 Generous Revenge 
 
 Page 
 
 MUSIC. 
 
 
 The Organ . 
 
 . 192 
 
 Harpsichord . 
 
 . 193 
 
 Wrath of Amurath Subdued 
 
 . 193 
 
 Pythagoras 
 
 . 194 
 
 Influence of Music 
 
 . 194 
 
 Luther .... 
 
 . 196 
 
 Piano-forte ... 
 
 . 196 
 
 368 
 
 308 
 
 3G8 
 
 369 
 
 369 
 
 370 
 
 371 
 
 372 
 
 372 
 
 3^3 PARENTA 
 
 374 Fond Fathers 
 
 374 Saving from Fire 
 
 374 Steele Among his Children 
 
 374I Filial Affection 
 
 374 Filial Affection Rewarded 
 
 37^1 Daughter's Choice 
 
 37 5 ;Quintus .... 
 
 37£iAn Affecting Story . 
 
 376 1 
 
 187 
 188 
 188 
 189 
 189 
 190 
 190 
 191 
 
 and 
 
 MODESTY. 
 
 Washington 
 
 219 
 
 ! PASSIONS, INFLUENCE OF 
 THE 356 
 
 PERSECUTION. 
 
 Francis I., king of France 
 Don Pedro . 
 Dreadful Persecution 
 Albigensian War . 
 
 PHILOSOPHY. 
 
 Pythagoras 
 
 The Three Sages . 
 Fair Disciple of Pythagoras . 
 Newton and the Rustic Philoso- 
 pher 
 
 PRAYER, EFFICACY OF 
 
 Mr. Flavel 
 
 A Pious Youth 
 
 Mr. Longden . 
 
 Frederic, elector of Saxony 
 
 Mr. Ince .... 
 
 Franklin on Prayer 
 
 Family Prayer 
 
 Private Prayer 
 
 PRIDE. 
 Saladin the Great . 
 A Dervis 
 Envy 
 
 Examples of Pride . 
 Instability of Greatness 
 The Great and Small lie together 
 
 PREACHING. 
 
 Dr. Manton . 
 
 Elegant Compliment 
 
 A Long Sermon 
 
 A Hit at Metaphysics . 
 
 South .... 
 
 Dean Swift 
 
 Reading Sermons . 
 
 The Reformer and Quaker 
 
 Hamilton 
 
 Pungent Preaching 
 
 Comment on Gallatians iv., 18 
 
 332 
 332 
 333 
 333 
 
 128 
 128 
 128 
 
 128 
 
 319 
 319 
 320 
 320 
 320 
 321 
 322 
 322 
 
 308 
 308 
 308 
 309 
 309 
 
 273 
 274 
 274 
 274 
 274 
 275 
 276 
 276 
 277 
 277 
 277 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Xlll 
 
 Page 
 
 Anecdotes of those who Read their 
 
 Sermons 278 
 
 Dr. Guise 278 
 
 Who's to Blame ? . . . .279 
 Curious Proof of Conversion . . 279 
 Pious Farmers .... 279 
 
 Preferment 280 
 
 Ignorant Priest . . . .280 
 A Popular Preacher . . .2* 
 
 Dr. Rush 282 
 
 Dilemma 282 
 
 Beautiful Simile . . . .283 
 Rev. Mr. Sewell . . 283 
 
 Whitfield 284 
 
 Canticles 284 
 
 POPES AND POPERY 
 POLITENESS. 
 
 Polite Pillaging 
 Dr. Barrow 
 
 216 
 219 
 
 47 
 
 POVERTY OF THE LEARNED 
 PROVIDENCES, PARTICULAR. 
 
 Preaching for Diversion . . 322 
 
 Conversion of a Wicked Master . 323 
 The Youth Restored . . .324 
 The Faithful Minister . . . 324 
 
 Another 325 
 
 Bible a Shield for Soul and Body . 325 
 Mr. Heywood . . . .326 
 
 An Illustration of a Special Provi- 
 dence, and the Power of Prayer 327 
 Nautical Anecdote . . .328 
 
 Submission to God's Providence . 328 
 Dr. Doddridge . . . .328 
 Surprising Event .... 329 
 Awful Death of a Wicked Woman 329 
 . 329 
 . 330 
 . 330 
 
 Awful Account 
 
 Lying .... 
 
 Lying Punished . . 
 
 READING. 
 Dr. Watts 
 Pope .... 
 
 Pleasures of Study 
 Classical Studies . 
 Mirabeau .... 
 Reading the Bible . 
 
 Bible 
 
 Queen Elizabeth . 
 
 Collins 78 
 
 RESTITUTION. 
 Dr. A. Clarke 301 
 
 STUDIES. 
 Three Mistakes 
 Progress of Old Age in Studies 
 
 SWEARING, PROFANE. 
 
 Elector of Cologne 
 Swearing rebuked . 
 Mr. Scott . 
 
 Washington 
 
 Howard's Opinion . 
 
 SABBATH-SCHOOL. 
 
 The Praying Child 
 
 Utility of Religious Instruction 
 
 Temptation Resisted 
 
 A Benevolent Boy . 
 
 Attentive Children . 
 
 Praying little Girl . 
 
 The praying Boy . 
 
 The Bit of String . 
 
 Fearing the Lord . 
 
 Striking Reproof . 
 
 Effect of S. S. Instruction 
 
 Original Anecdote . 
 
 Coloured Schools . 
 
 Good Samaritan 
 
 TACITURNITY 
 
 Deliberation . 
 Diffidence 
 
 Page 
 
 73 
 
 74 
 
 Dread of Something after Death 
 Practical Hearer . 
 
 SABBATH. 
 
 Bishop Andrews 
 
 The Sabbath-breaker silenced 
 
 Washington .... 
 
 SLANDER. 
 Valuable Sentence 
 Origin of Slander . 
 Rev. Mr. Haynes . 
 
 302 
 303 
 
 300 
 300 
 301 
 
 304 
 304 
 304 
 
 Men of Genius deficient in Conver 
 
 sation 
 Loquacity 
 Rev. Mr. Berridge 
 Knight of Florence 
 
 TEMPERANCE 
 
 Rumseller's Diary . 
 Devil's Blood . 
 
 Colonel B ruling over Rum 
 
 A good Example . 
 
 Starvation of Physicians 
 
 To cure Sore Eyes . 
 
 The Antagonist 
 
 Temperate Drinking 
 
 Cutting Rebuke 
 
 The wise Goat 
 
 Intoxication 
 
 Pleasures of Expectation 
 
 License System 
 
 Quieting Conscience 
 
 Intemperance . 
 
 Drunkard's Cloak . 
 
 Spontaneous Combustion 
 
 Principle Cases of Spontaneous 
 
 Combustion 
 Pledge-breaking 
 Drinking the King's Health 
 
 TLME. 
 Economy of Time. 
 Value of Time 
 Dr. Cotton Mather 
 
 WAR. 
 
 Warrior's Opinion of Wfir 
 
 132 
 132 
 132 
 132 
 133 
 
 346 
 346 
 347 
 348 
 348 
 349 
 349 
 350 
 350 
 351 
 351 
 351 
 352 
 352 
 
 135 
 136 
 136 
 137 
 137 
 138 
 138 
 138 
 139 
 139 
 139 
 140 
 140 
 141 
 141 
 141 
 142 
 
 144 
 145 
 145 
 
 116 
 116 
 117 
 
 161 
 
XIV 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Page 
 
 Cause of the American Revolution 161 
 
 Mrs. Sheridan 
 
 , , 
 
 . 238 
 
 Profit of War . 
 
 . 162 
 
 French Farmer's Wife . 
 
 . 238 
 
 Reward of War 
 
 . 162 
 
 Alpine Farmers 
 
 . 239 
 
 Profanation 
 
 . 163 
 
 Secret well kept 
 
 
 . 339 
 
 Stratagem of Colonel Washington 163 
 
 Female Depravity 
 
 
 . 240 
 
 Bonaparte 
 
 . 163 
 
 Matthew Henry 
 
 . 
 
 . 240 
 
 Pirate's Defence 
 
 . 163 
 
 Temper . 
 
 
 . 241 
 
 Veteran Corps 
 
 . 164 
 
 Rash Vow 
 
 
 . 241 
 
 Horrors of War 
 
 . 164 
 
 Female Influence 
 
 
 . 241 
 
 Conflagration of Moscow 
 
 . 164 
 
 Arabian Respect for Women . 
 
 . 242 
 
 Wars between England and France 165 
 
 Gossips 
 
 . 242 
 
 Battle of Marathon 
 
 . 165 
 
 
 
 
 Indian Chief . 
 
 . 166 
 
 Cruelty to Animals 
 
 . 400 
 
 Massacre at Wyoming . 
 
 . 167 
 
 Cruelties .... 
 
 . 401 
 
 Colours Saved 
 
 . 168 
 
 Murderers Discovered . 
 
 . 402 
 
 
 
 A Woman ... 
 
 . 403 
 
 WOMEN. 
 
 
 Comment on 1 Tim. vi., 10 . 
 
 . 403 
 
 Good Management of a Lady 
 
 . 234 
 
 Subrius Flavius 
 
 . 404 
 
 W 7 ise Decision 
 
 . 234 
 
 The Emperor and his poor Prisoner 405 
 
 The Scold 
 
 . 234 
 
 Scarcity of Kings . 
 
 . 406 
 
 Wife of Dryden 
 
 . 235 
 
 Good Advice .... 
 
 . 406 
 
 The Wife 
 
 . 235 
 
 Independence in Humble Life 
 
 . 406 
 
 Submissive Wife . 
 
 . 235 
 
 Affectation and Sensibility . 
 
 . 407 
 
 A hard Choice 
 
 . 236 
 
 Ornaments . 
 
 . 407 
 
 Singular Alternative 
 
 . 237 
 
 Egyptian Deity 
 
 . 407 
 
 Gipsy Equivoque . 
 
 . 238 
 
 Hannibal's Stratagem . 
 
 . 408 
 
 Mrs. Howard 
 
 . 238 
 
 Implicit Faith 
 
 
 408 
 
ANECDOTES, &c 
 

A N E C D O T E S, &c. 
 
 GENIUS. 
 
 Genius, that creative part of art which individualizes the 
 artist, belonging to him, and to no other ; is it an inherent 
 faculty in the constitutional dispositions of the individual, or 
 can it be formed by the patient acquisitions of art ? 
 
 Many sources of genius have indeed been laid open to us ; 
 but if these may sometimes call it forth, have they ever sup- 
 plied its wants ? Could Spenser have struck out a poet in 
 Cowley, Richardson a painter in Reynolds, and Descartes 
 a metaphysician in Mallebranche, had they not borne that 
 vital germe of nature, which, when endowed in its force, is 
 always developing itself to a particular character of genius ? 
 The accidents related of these men have occurred to a thou- 
 sand who have run the same career ; but how does it happen 
 that the multitude remain a multitude, and the man of genius 
 arrives alone at the goal ? 
 
 The equality of minds in their native state is as monstrous 
 a paradox, or a term as equivocal in metaphysics, as the 
 equality of men in the political state. Both come from the 
 French school in evil times ; and ought, therefore, as Job 
 said, " to be eschewed." Nor can we trust to Johnson's 
 definition of genius, " as a mind of general powers accident- 
 ally determined by some particular direction," as this rejects 
 any native aptitude, while we must infer on this principle 
 that the reasoning Locke, without an ear or an eye, could 
 have been the musical and fairy Spenser. 
 
 Akenside, in that fine poem which is itself a history of 
 genius, in tracing its source, first sang, 
 
 " From heaven my strains begin, from heaven descends 
 The flames of genius to the human breast." 
 
 But in the final revision of that poem he left many years 
 after, the bard has vindicated the solitary and independent 
 origin of genius by the mysterious epithet the chosen breast. 
 
 C 
 
22 ANECDOTES. 
 
 The veteran poet was perhaps lessened by the vicissitudes 
 of his own poetical life and those of some of his brothers. 
 
 Different views of genius have by some eminent men 
 been entertained. " I know no such thing as genius," said 
 Hogarth to Mr. Gilbert Cooper : "genius is nothing but la- 
 bour and diligence." Sir Isaac Newton said of himself, 
 " That if ever he had been able to do anything, he had ef- 
 fected it by patient thinking only." 
 
 That the dispositions of genius in early life presage its 
 future character, was long the feeling of antiquity. Isoc- 
 rates, after much previous observation of those who attend- 
 ed his lectures, advised one to engage in political studies, 
 exhorted another to compose history, elected some to be 
 poets, and some to adopt his own profession. He thought 
 that Nature had some concern in forming a man of genius, 
 and he tried to guess at her secret by detecting the first en- 
 ergetic inclination of the mind. This principle guided the 
 Jesuits. 
 
 In the old romance of King Arthur, when a cowherd 
 comes to the king to request he would make his son a 
 knight, " It is a great thing thou askest," said Arthur, who 
 inquired whether this entreaty proceeded from him or his 
 son. The old man's answer is remarkable : " Of my son, 
 not of me ; for I have thirteen sons, and all these will fall 
 to that labour I put them ; but this child will not labour for 
 me, for anything that I. and my wife will do ; but always 
 he will be shooting and casting darts, and glad for to see 
 battles, and to behold knights, and always day and night he 
 desireth of me to be made a knight." The king commanded 
 the cowherd to fetch all his sons ; they were all shapen 
 much like the poor man ; but Tor was not like any of them 
 in shape and in countenance, for he was much more than 
 any of them. And so Arthur knighted him. This simple 
 tale is the history of genius ; the cowherd's twelve sons 
 were like himself, but the unhappy genius in the family who 
 perplexed and plagued the cowherd and his wife, and his 
 twelve brothers, was the youth averse to labour, but active 
 enough in performing knightly exercises, and dreaming on 
 chivalry amid a herd of cows. 
 
 Some peurile anecdotes which Franklin remembered of 
 himself, in association with his after-life, betray the inven- 
 tion and the firm intrepidity of his character, and even, per- 
 haps, the carelessness of the means to obtain his purpose. 
 In boyhood he was a sort of adventurer ; and since his father 
 would not consent to a sealife, he made the river near him 
 
GENIUS. 23 
 
 represent the ocean ; he lived on the water, and was the 
 daring Columbus of a schoolboy's boat. A part where he 
 and his mates stood to angle in time became a quagmire 
 In the course of one day the infant projector thought of a 
 wharf for them to stand on, and raised one with a heap of 
 stones deposited there for the building of a house. But he 
 preferred his wharf to another's house ; his contrivances to 
 aid his puny labourers, with his resolution not to leave the 
 great work till it was effected, seem to strike out to us the 
 decision and invention of his future character. 
 
 "Whatever a young man at first applies himself to is 
 commonly his delight afterward." This remark was made 
 by Hartley, who has related an anecdote of the infancy of 
 his genius which indicated the man. He declared to his 
 daughter that the intention of writing a book upon the nature 
 of man was conceived in his mind when he was a very little 
 boy, when swinging backward and forward upon a gate, 
 not more than nine or ten years old ; he was then medita- 
 ting upon the nature of his own mind, how man was made, 
 and for what future end. Such was the true origin, in abov 
 of ten years old, of his celebrated book on the " frame, the 
 duty, and the expectation of man." 
 
 Alfieri said he could never be taught by a French dancing- 
 master, whose art made him at once shudder and laugh. If 
 we reflect that, as it is now practised, it seems the art of giv- 
 ing affectation to a puppet, and that this puppet is a man, 
 we can enter into this mixed sensation of degradation and rid- 
 icule. Horace, by his own confession, was a very awkward 
 rider ; and the poetical rider could not always secure a seat 
 on his mule ; Metastasio humorously complains of his gun ; 
 the poetical sportsman could only frighten hares and par- 
 tridges ; the truth was, as an elder poet sings, 
 
 "Instead of hounds that make the wooded hills 
 Talk, in a hundred voices to the rills, 
 I like the pleasing cadence of a line 
 Struck by the concert of the sacred nine." 
 
 Browne's Brit. Past., b. ii., song 4. 
 
 La Caille was the son of the parish clerk of a village ; at 
 the age of ten years his father sent him every evening to 
 ring the church bell, but the boy always returned home late. 
 The father, suspecting something mysterious in his conduct, 
 one evening watched him. He saw his boy ascend the 
 steeple, ring the bell as usual, and remain there during an 
 hour. When the unlucky boy descended he trembled like 
 one caught in the fact, and on his knees confessed that the 
 pleasure he took in watching the stars from the steeple was 
 
24 ANECDOTES 
 
 me real cause of detaining him from home. As the father 
 was not born to be an astronomer like the son, he flogged 
 the boy severely. The youth was found weeping in the 
 streets by a man of science, who, when he discovered in a 
 boy of ten years of age a passion for contemplating the stars 
 at night, and who had discovered an observatory in a steeple, 
 in spite of such ill-treatment, he decided that the seal of na- 
 mre had impressed itself on the genius of that boy. Re- 
 lieving the parent from the son and the son from the parent, 
 he assisted the young La Caille in his passionate pursuit, 
 and the event perfectly justified the prediction. Let others 
 tell us why children feel a predisposition for the studies of 
 astronomy, or natural history, or any similar pursuit. We 
 know that youths have found themselves in parallel situa- 
 tions with Ferguson and La Caille without experiencing 
 their energies. 
 
 Precocity of Genius. — While the constant labours and 
 extensive researches of eminent men deserve our praise, the 
 premature development of genius excites both our admiration 
 iind astonishment. To see juvenile years graced with all 
 the beauties of science and learning, strikes the mind as a 
 singular phenomenon. Whether all human souls be equal, 
 so that their powers are only expanded or restrained accord- 
 ing to corporeal organization, or whether they are different 
 in their own nature, may, perhaps, be a matter of much con- 
 troversy. It is evident, however, that what has cost many 
 the labour of years, have been almost the first thoughts of 
 others possessed of an early and fruitful genius. A few in- 
 stances are here selected, which will, perhaps, afford some 
 degree of entertainment to the reader. 
 
 Pascal. — Blaise Pascal, one of the sublimest geniuses 
 the world ever produced, was born at Clermont, in Auvergne, 
 in 1623. He never had any preceptor but his father. So 
 great a turn had he for the mathematics, that he learned, or 
 rather invented, geometry when but twelve years old ; for 
 his father was unwilling to initiate him in that science early, 
 ."or fear of its diverting him from the study of the languages. 
 Yt sixteen he composed a curious mathematical piece. About 
 nineteen he invented his machine of arithmetic, which has 
 been much admired by the learned. He afterward employed 
 oimself assiduously in making experiments according to the 
 h(.w philosophy, and particularly improved upon those of 
 Toricellius. At the age of twenty-four his mind took a dif- 
 
GENIUS. 25 
 
 ferent turn ; for all at once he became as great a devotee 
 as any age has produced, and gave himself up entirely to 
 prayer and mortification. 
 
 Candiac — John Lewis Candiac, a premature genius, was 
 born at Candiac, in the diocess of Nisrnes, in France, in 
 1719. In the cradle he distinguished his letters ; at thirteen 
 months he knew them perfectly ; at three years of age he 
 read Latin, either printed or in manuscript ; at four he trans- 
 lated from that tongue ; at six he read Greek and Hebrew, 
 was master of the principles of arithmetic, history, geography, 
 heraldry, and the science of medals, and had read the best 
 authors on almost every branch of literature. He died of a 
 complication of disorders at Paris, 1726. 
 
 SIR PHILIP SIDNEY. 
 " When I was yet a child, no childish play 
 To me was pleasing ; all my mind was set 
 Serious to learn and know, and thence to do, 
 What might be public good ; myself I thought 
 Born to that end ; born to promote all truth, 
 All righteous things." 
 
 Paradise Regained. 
 
 Sir Philip Sidney w T as one of the brightest ornaments of 
 Queen Elizabeth's court. In early youth he discovered the 
 strongest marks of genius and understanding. Sir Fulk 
 Greville, Lord Brook, who was his intimate friend, says of 
 him, u Though I lived with him and knew him from a child, 
 yet I never knew him other than a man, with such steadiness 
 of mind, lovely and familiar gravity, as carried grace and rev- 
 erence above greater years. His talk was ever of knowl- 
 edge, and his very play tended to enrich the mind." 
 
 Dr. Watts. — It was so natural for Dr. Watts, when a 
 child, to speak in rhyme, that even at the very time he wished 
 to avoid it he could not. His father was displeased at this 
 propensity, and threatened to whip him if he did not leave 
 off making verses. One day, when he was about to put his 
 threat in execution, the child burst out into tears, and on his 
 knees said, 
 
 " Pray, father, do some pity take, 
 And I will no more verses make.'" 
 
 Musical Infant. — In 1788, a musical prodigy of the 
 name of Sophia Hoffman attracted the notice of the scien- 
 tific and the curious. The child, when only nine months old, 
 discovered so violent an attachment to musical sounds, that, 
 
 D 
 
26 ANECDOTES. 
 
 if taken out of a room where any person was playing on an 
 instrument, it was frequently impossible to appease her but 
 by bringing her back. The nearer she was carried to the per- 
 former the more delighted she appeared, and would often 
 clap her little hands together in accurate time. Her father, 
 who was a musician, cultivated her infantine genius so 
 successfully, that, when she was a year and three quarters 
 old, she could play a march, a lesson, and two or three songs 
 with tolerable correctness ; and when two years and a half 
 old she could play several tunes. If she ever struck a 
 wrong note she did not suffer it to pass, but immediately 
 corrected herself. 
 
 Self-taught Mechanist. — A boy of the name of John 
 Young, now (1819) residing at Newton-upon-Ayr, in Scot- 
 land, constructed a singular piece of mechanism, which at- 
 tracted much notice among the ingenious and scientific. A 
 box, about three feet long by two broad, and' six or eight 
 inches deep, had a frame and paper covering erected upon 
 it in the form of a house. On the upper part of the box are 
 a number of wooden figures, about two or three inches high, 
 representing people employed in those trades or sciences 
 with which the boy is familiar. The whole are put in mo- 
 tion at the same time by machinery within the box, acted 
 upon by a handle like that of a hand-organ. A weaver upon 
 his loom, with a fly-shuttle, uses his hands and feet, and 
 keeps his eye upon the shuttle as it passes across the web. 
 A soldier, sitting with a sailor at a public-house table, fills 
 a glass, drinks it off, then knocks upon the table, upon which 
 an old woman opens a door, makes her appearance, and they 
 retire. Two shoemakers upon their stools are seen, the one 
 beating leather, and the other stitching a shoe. A cloth- 
 dresser, a stone-cutter, a cooper, a tailor, a woman churning, 
 and one teasing wool, are all at work. There is also a car- 
 penter sawing a piece of wood, and two blacksmiths beating 
 a piece of iron, the one using a sledge and the other a small 
 hammer ; a boy turning a grindstone while a man grinds an 
 instrument upon it; and a barber shaving a man, whom he 
 holds fast by the nose with one hand. 
 
 The boy was only about seventeen years of age when he 
 completed this curious work ; and since the bent of his 
 mind could be first marked, his only amusement was that 
 of working with a knife, and making little mechanical figures. 
 This is the more extraordinary, as he had no opportunity 
 whatever of seeing any person employed in a similar way. 
 
GENIUS. 27 
 
 He was bred a weaver with his father ; and, since he could 
 be employed at the trade, has had no time for his favourite 
 study, except after the work ceased or during the intervals ; 
 and the only tool he ever had to assist him was a pocket- 
 knife. In his earlier years he produced several curiosities 
 on a similar scale ; but the one now described is his greatest 
 work, to which he devoted all his spare time during two 
 years. 
 
 Christopher Smart. — The late Christopher Smart is 
 said to have written poems at four years of age. His song 
 to David has been justly deemed a wonder in the moral 
 world, and deserving as much the investigation of the philos- 
 opher as the admiration of the lover of poetry ; and yet this 
 poem was composed while the unfortunate bard was con- 
 fined in a madhouse ; and in the absence of pen, ink, and 
 paper, which were denied him, was written on the walls of 
 his room with a key. It is a sublime production, and glows 
 with religious fervour. In his fits of insanity religion was 
 his ruling passion, and he was frequently so impressed with 
 a sense of it as to write on his knees. When at large, he 
 would say prayers in the streets, and insist that the people 
 he met should pray with him. 
 
 Master Clayton. — The son of Judge Clayton, of 
 Athens, Georgia, about ten years of age, possesses the most 
 astonishing arithmetical powers of mind. He can reduce 
 any given number of miles to inches, years to seconds, &c, 
 performing the whole operation in his head, and will give 
 the result as quick as an expert calculator can with a pen. 
 Among other questions asked him were the following, which 
 he solved with ease and expedition : How many inches are 
 there in 1,373,489 miles ? How often does a wheel five 
 feet six inches in diameter turn over in ninety miles ? 
 What is the cube root of 24,743,682 ? He has, on more 
 than one occasion (eighteen months ago), raised the number 
 twelve to its fifteenth power; that is to say, the number 
 multiplied into itself fifteen times. He can multiply three 
 figures by three figures. The whole is performed by the 
 bare strength of memory ; for it is done in the usual way ; 
 there is no mystery in it, no short method or plan of his 
 own. This faculty was discovered in him at about eight 
 years of age, and has most astonishingly improved since that 
 time. 
 
28 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Bacon. — At college Bacon discovered how "that scrap 
 of Grecian knowledge, the peripatetic philosophy," and the 
 scholastic babble could not serve the ends and purposes of 
 knowledge ; that syllogisms were not things, and that a 
 new logic might teach us to invent and judge by induction. 
 He found that theories were to be built upon experiments 
 When a young man, abroad, he began to make those obser- 
 vations on nature which afterward led on to the foundations 
 of the new philosophy. At sixteen he philosophized ; at 
 twenty-six he had framed his system into some form ; and 
 after forty years of continued labours, unfinished to his last 
 hour, he left behind him sufficient to found the great philo- 
 sophical reformation. 
 
 Blacklock. — Blacklock is said to have seen the light 
 only for five months. Besides having made himself master 
 of Greek, Latin, Italian, and French, he was also a great poet. 
 
 Crichton. — James Crichton, known by the appellation of 
 the Admirable Crichton, was born in Scotland. At the age 
 of twenty years he thought of improving himself by foreign 
 travel ; and having arrived at Paris, the desire of procuring 
 the notice of its university, or the pride of making known his 
 attainments, induced him to affix placards on the gates of 
 its colleges, challenging the professors to dispute with him 
 in all the branches of literature and the sciences, in ten lan- 
 guages, and either in prose or in verse. On the day ap- 
 pointed, three thousand auditors assembled. Fifty masters, 
 who had laboriously prepared for the contest, proposed to 
 him the most intricate questions, and he replied to them in 
 the language they required with the happiest propriety of 
 expression, with an acuteness that seemed superior to every 
 difficulty, and with an erudition which appeared to have no 
 bounds. Four celebrated doctors of the church then ven- 
 tured to enter into disputation with him. He obviated every 
 objection they could urge in opposition to him ; he refuted 
 every argument they advanced. A sentiment of terror min- 
 gled itself with their admiration of him. They conceived 
 him to be an antichrist. This singular exhibition continued 
 from nine in the morning till six at night, and was closed by 
 the President of the University, who, having expressed in 
 the strongest terms of compliment the sense he entertained 
 of his capacity and knowledge, advanced towards him, ac- 
 companied by four professors, and bestowed on him a dia 
 mond ring and a purse of gold 
 
GENIUS. 29 
 
 Franklin and Electricity. — Doctor Franklin was the 
 first philosopher who succeeded in obtaining electricity from 
 the clouds. This he did by means of a kite, to which an iron 
 point was affixed. To the lower end of the hemp string was 
 attached a silken cord, to prevent the electric fluid from 
 passing off, and where the hemp string terminated a key 
 was fastened. He raised his kite during a thunder-storm ; 
 and, on presenting his knuckle to the key, he received a 
 strong spark. Afterward, in repeating these experiments, 
 he collected the fluid thus obtained and confined it in bottles 
 and jars. This circumstance gave rise to the following anec- 
 dote : 
 
 While he was about being presented to the king as an 
 ambassador to the English court, a lady, observing his plain 
 appearance, inquired who that gentleman was in such a 
 homely dress. The gentleman on whose arm she was lean- 
 ing remarked, " That, madam, is Benjamin Franklin, the am- 
 bassador from North America." " The North American am- 
 bassador so shabbily dressed !" exclaimed the lady. " Hush, 
 madam, for Heaven's sake," whispered the gentleman, " he 
 is the man who bottles up thunder and lightning." 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton. — " I do not know," said this great 
 philosopher a little before his death, " what I may appear to 
 the world ; but to myself I seem to have been only as a boy 
 playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and 
 then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than or- 
 dinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered 
 before me." 
 
 Characteristics of Bayle. — To know Bayle as a man, 
 we must not study him in the folio life of Des Maiseaux ; 
 whose laborious pencil, without colour and without expres- 
 sion, loses in its indistinctness the individualizing strokes of 
 the portrait. Look for Bayle in his " Letters," those true 
 chronicles of a literary man, when they solely record his 
 own pursuits. 
 
 The personal character of Bayle was unblemished even 
 by calumny ; his executor, Basnage, never could mention 
 him without tears ! With simplicity which approached to 
 an infantine nature, but with the fortitude of a stoic, our lit- 
 erary philosopher, from his earliest days, dedicated himself 
 to literature ; the great sacrifice consisted of those two main 
 objects of human pursuits, fortune and a family. Many an 
 ascetic, who has headed an order, has not so religiously ab- 
 
30 ANECDOTES. 
 
 stained from all worldly interests ; yet let us not imagine that 
 there was a sullenness in his stoicism ; an icy misanthropy 
 which shuts up the heart from its ebb and flow. His domes- 
 tic affections through life were fervid. When his mother de- 
 sired to receive his portrait, he sent her a picture of his 
 heart ! Early in life the mind of Bayle was strengthening 
 itself by a philosophical resignation to all human events ! 
 
 " I am indeed of a disposition neither to fear bad fortune 
 nor to have very ardent desires for good. Yet I lose this 
 steadiness and indifference when I reflect that your love to 
 me makes you feel for everything that happens to me. It 
 is, therefore, from the consideration that my misfortunes 
 would be a torment to you, that I wish to be happy ; and 
 when I think that my happiness would be all your joy, I 
 should lament that my bad fortune should continue to per- 
 secute me ; though, as to my own particular interest, I dare 
 promise to myself that I shall never be very much affected 
 by it." 
 
 Imitators. — Seneca, in his 114th epistle, gives a curi- 
 ous literary anecdote of that sort of imitation by which an 
 inferior mind becomes the monkey of an original writer. At 
 Rome, when Sallust was the fashionable writer, short sen- 
 tences, uncommon words, and an obscure brevity were af- 
 fected as so many elegances. Arruntius, who wrote the 
 history of the Punic Wars, painfully laboured to imitate 
 Sallust. Expressions which are rare in Sallust are frequent 
 in Arruntius, and, of course, without the motive that induced 
 Sallust to adopt them. What rose naturally under the pen 
 of the great historian, the minor one must have run after with 
 a ridiculous anxiety. Seneca adds several instances of the 
 servile affectation of Arruntius, which seems much like those 
 we once had of Johnson, by the undiscerning herd of his 
 monkeys. 
 
 One cannot but smile at these imitators ; we have abound- 
 ed with them. In the days of Churchill, every month pro- 
 duced an effusion which tolerably imitated his rough and 
 slovenly versification, his coarse invective, and his careless 
 mediocrity ; but the genius remained with the English Ju- 
 venal. Sterne had his countless multitude, and in Fielding's 
 time, Tom Jones produced more bastards in wit than the 
 author could ever suspect. To such literary echoes, the 
 reply of Philip of Macedon to one who prided himself on 
 imitating the notes of the nightingale may be applied: "I 
 prefer the nightingale herself '" Even the most successful of 
 
GENIUS. 31 
 
 this imitating tribe must be doomed to share the fate of Sil- 
 ius ltalicus in his cold imitation of Virgil, and Cawthorne in 
 his empty harmony of Pope. 
 
 To all these imitators I must apply an Arabian anecdote. 
 Ebn Saad, one of Mohammed's amanuenses, when writing 
 what the prophet dictated, cried out by way of admiration, 
 " Blessed be God, the best creator!" Mohammed approved 
 of the expression, and desired him to write those words down 
 also as part of the inspired passage. The consequence was, 
 that Ebn Saad began to think himself as great a prophet as 
 the master, and took upon himself to imitate the Koran ac- 
 cording to his fancy; but the imitator got himself into 
 trouble, and only escaped with his life by falling on his knees, 
 and solemnly swearing he would never again imitate the 
 Koran, for which he was sensible God had never created him. 
 
 . Poets, Philosophers, and Artists made by Accident. 
 —Accident has frequently occasioned the most eminent ge- 
 niuses to display their powers. " It was at Rome," says 
 Gibbon, " on the fifteenth of October, seventeen hundred and 
 sixty-four, as I sat musing amid the ruins of the capitol, while 
 the barefooted friars were singing vespers in the Temple of 
 Jupiter, that the idea of writing the decline and fall of the 
 city first started to my mind." 
 
 Father Malebranche, having completed, his studies in phi- 
 losophy and theology without any other intention than de- 
 voting himself to some religious order, little expected the 
 celebrity his works acquired for him. Loitering in an idle 
 hour in the shop of a bookseller, and turning over a parcel 
 of books, U Homme de Descartes fell into his hands. Hav- 
 ing dipped into some parts, he read with such delight, that 
 the palpitations of his heart compelled him to lay the vol- 
 ume down. It was this circumstance that produced those 
 profound contemplations which made him the Plato of his 
 age. 
 
 Cowley became a poet by accident. In his mother's 
 apartment he found, when very young, Spenser's Fairy 
 Queen ; and, by a continual study of poetry, he became so 
 enchanted of the muse that he grew irrecoverably a poet. 
 
 Dr. Johnson informs us that Sir Joshua Reynolds had the 
 first fondness of his art excited by the perusal of Richard- 
 son's Treatise. 
 
 Vaucanson displayed an uncommon genius for mechanics. 
 His taste was first determined by an accident ; when young, 
 he frequently attended his mother to the residence of her 
 
32 ANECDOTES. 
 
 confessor; and while she wept with repentance, he wept 
 with weariness ! In this state of disagreeable vacation, says 
 Helvetius, he was struck with the uniform motion of the 
 pendulum of the clock in the hall. His curiosity was roused ; 
 he approached the clockcase and studied its mechanism ; 
 what he could not discover he guessed at. He then pro- 
 jected a similar machine ; and gradually his genius produced 
 a clock. Encouraged by this first success, he proceeded in 
 his various attempts ; and the genius which thus could form 
 a clock, in time formed a fluting automaton. 
 
 " If Shakspeare's imprudence had not obliged him to quit 
 his wool-trade and his town ; if he had not engaged with a 
 company of actors, and at length, disgusted with being an 
 indifferent performer, had not turned author, the prudent 
 woolseller had never been the celebrated poet." 
 
 " Corneille loved ; he made verses for his mistress, be- 
 came a poet, composed Melite, and afterward his other cele-, 
 brated works. The discreet Corneille had remained a law- 
 yer." 
 
 " Thus it is that the devotion of a mother, the death of 
 Cromwell, deer-stealing, the exclamation of an old man, and 
 the beauty of woman, have given five illustrious characters 
 to Europe." 
 
 We owe the great discovery of Newton to a very trivial 
 accident. When a student at Cambridge, he had retired 
 during the time of the plague into the country. As he was 
 reading under an apple-tree, one of the fruit fell, and struck 
 him a smart blow on the head. When he observed the small- 
 ness of the apple, he was surprised at the force of the stroke. 
 This led him to consider the accelerating motion of falling 
 bodies ; from whence he deduced the principle of gravity, 
 and laid the foundation of his philosophy. 
 
 Dr. Franklin attributes the cast of his genius to a similar 
 accident. " I found a work of De Foe's, entitled an ' Essay 
 on Projects,' from which, perhaps, I derived impressions that 
 have since influenced some of the principal events of my 
 life." 
 
 Flamstead was an astronomer by accident. He was taken 
 from school on account of his illness, when Sacrobosco's 
 book De Sphacra having been lent to him, he was so pleased 
 with it that he immediately began a course of astronomic 
 studies. Pennant's first propensity to natural history was 
 the pleasure he received from an accidental perusal of Wil- 
 loughby's work on birds ; the same accident, of finding on 
 the table of his professor Reaumur's History of Insects, of 
 
LITERARY. 33 
 
 which he read more than he attended to the lecture, and hav- 
 ing been refused the loan, gave such an instant turn to the 
 mind of Bonnet, that he hastened to obtain a copy, but found 
 many difficulties in procuring this costly work ; its posses- 
 sion gave an unalterable direction to his future life ; this natu- 
 ralist, indeed, lost the use of his sight by his devotion to the 
 microscope. 
 
 Mad Authors. — The conversation turning one day, in the 
 presence of Fontenelle, on the marks of originality in the 
 works of Father Castel, well known to the scientific world 
 for his " Vrai Systeme de Physique generale de Newton ;" 
 some person observed, " But he is mad." " I know it," re- 
 turned Fontenelle, " and I am very sorry for it, for it is a 
 great pity. But I like him better for being original and a 
 little mad, than I should if he were in his senses without be- 
 ing original." 
 
 When Nathaniel Lee, commonly called the mad poet, was 
 confined, during four years of his short life, in Bedlam, a 
 sane idiot of a scribbler mocked his calamity, and observed 
 that it was easy to write like a madman. Lee answered, 
 " No, sir, it is not so easy to write like a madman, but very 
 easy to write like a fool." 
 
 Eminent Persons raised from Low Stations. — This 
 section, perhaps, will not be found superfluous when we con- 
 sider that its tendency is to encourage merit obscured by 
 indigent circumstances, and to suppress pride and vanity in 
 any who, though arrived at the summit of prosperity, have 
 forgotten the humble valley through which they once tra- 
 versed. 
 
 Archbishop Abbot was educated and maintained by public 
 charity. 
 
 Tillotson's father was a weaver, and does not appear to 
 have been in circumstances sufficient to provide for his son. 
 
 Pope Sixtus V. — Pope Sixtus V., while he was a boy 
 keeping a neighbour's hogs, a Franciscan friar, who had lost 
 his way, applied to him for direction, which he gave with so 
 good a grace, and at the same time offered his services so 
 earnestly to attend him as a waiting-boy provided he would 
 teach him to read, that the friar took him home to his con- 
 vent. Such was his first step to the road of preferment, 
 which he pursued so steadily that he was admitted to make 
 his profession at fourteen years of age ; was ordained a priest 
 
 E 
 
34 ANECDOTES. 
 
 by the name of Father Montalto, and at last arrived at the 
 honour of the popedom. 
 
 On his elevation to the tiara, he used to say, in contempt 
 of the pasquinades that were made upon his birth, that he 
 was domus natus illustri, born of an illustrious house ; be- 
 cause the sunbeams, passing through the broken walls and 
 ragged roof, illustrated every corner of his father's hut. The 
 poor people of Italy, till of late, have been accustomed to 
 excite in their children an application to study by relating 
 to them the story of this pope. 
 
 Pope Benedict XII. — Pope Benedict XII. was the son 
 of a miller, whence he came to be called the White Cardi- 
 nal. He never forgot his former condition ; and when he 
 was upon marrying his neice, he refused to give her to the 
 great lord who sued for her, and married her to a tradesman. 
 
 Primaslaus. — Libussa, princess of Bohemia, first enno- 
 bled and then married Primaslaus, who before was a plain 
 husbandman. In remembrance of his former condition, he 
 preserved a pair of wooden shoes. Being asked the cause 
 of his doing so, he made the following answer: "I have 
 brought these shoes with me for the purpose of setting them 
 up as a monument in the Castle of Visegrade, and of exhib- 
 iting them to my successors, that all may know that the first 
 prince of Bohemia was called to his high dignity from the 
 cart and the plough ; and that I myself, who am elevated to 
 a crown, may bear constantly in mind that I have nothing 
 whereof to be proud." 
 
 Perseverance. — When Dr. Franklin walked into Phila- 
 delphia with a roll of bread in his hand, little did he think 
 what a contrast his after-life would exhibit ; and yet, by per- 
 severance and industry, he placed himself at the tables of 
 princes, and became a chief pillar in the councils of his 
 country. The simple journeyman, eating his roll in the 
 street, lived to become a philosopher and a statesman, and to 
 command the respect of his country and of mankind. What 
 a lesson for youth ! 
 
 Prideaux. — John Prideaux, bishop of Worcester, was 
 originally very poor. Before he applied himself to learning, 
 he stood candidate for the office of parish clerk at Ugborow, 
 in Devonshire, and, to his great mortification, another was 
 chosen into that place. Such was his poverty on his firs 
 
LITERARY. 35 
 
 coming to Oxford, that he was employed in servile offices in 
 the kitchen of Exeter College for his support. He has been 
 often heard to say, that if he had been elected clerk of Ug. 
 borow he should never have been a bishop. He was so far 
 from being ashamed of his former poverty, that he kept the 
 veather breeches which he wore at Oxford as a memorial 01 
 a. He died 29th July, 1650, aged seventy-two. 
 
 The poor Student in Danger. — Bishop Home, when 
 a student, was very desirous of purchasing the Hebrew Con- 
 cordance of Marius de Calasio ; but, not knowing how to 
 purchase it out of his allowance, or to ask his fatfier in plain 
 terms to make him a present of it, he told him the following 
 story, and left the moral of it to speak for itself. 
 
 In the last age, when Bishop Walton's Polyglot was first 
 published, there was at Cambridge a Mr. Edwards, passion- 
 ately fond of Oriental learning, who afterward went by the 
 name of Rabbi Edwards : he was a good man and a good 
 scholar ; but, being rather young in the University, and not 
 very rich, Walton's great work was far above his pocket. 
 Nevertheless, not being able to sleep well without it, he sold 
 his bed and some of his furniture, and made the purchase ; 
 in consequence of which he was obliged to sleep in a large 
 chest, originally made to hold his clothes. But getting into 
 his chest one night rather incautiously, the lid of it, which 
 had a bolt with a spring, fell down upon him, and locked 
 him in past recovery ; and there he lay wellnigh smothered 
 to death. In the morning, Edwards, who was always an 
 exact man, not appearing, it was wondered what had become 
 of him ; till, at last, his bedmaker, or the person who, in 
 better time, had been his bedmaker, being alarmed, went to 
 his chambers time enough to release him ; and, the accident 
 getting air, came to the ears of his friends, who soon re- 
 deemed his bed for him. This story Mr. Home told his 
 father, and it had the desired effect. 
 
 His father immediately sent him the money, for which 
 he returned him abundant thanks, promising to repay him in 
 the only possible way, viz., that of using the books to the 
 best advantage. They were, without question, diligently 
 turned over while he worked at his Commentary on the 
 Psalms, and yielded him no small assistance. 
 
 Franklin's first Entrance into Philadelphia. — I 
 have entered into the particulars of my voyage, and shall, in 
 like manner describe my first entrance into this city, that 
 
36 ANECDOTES. 
 
 you may be able to compare beginnings so little auspicious 
 with the figure I have since made. 
 
 On my arrival at Philadelphia I was in my working dress, 
 my best clothes being to come by sea. I was covered with 
 dirt ; my pockets were filled with shirts and stockings ; I 
 was unacquainted with a single soul in the place, and knew 
 not where to seek a lodging. Fatigued with walking, row- 
 ing, and having passed the night without sleep, I was ex- 
 tremely hungry, and all my money consisted of a Dutch 
 dollar and about a shilling's worth of coppers, which I gave 
 to the boatmen for my passage. As I had assisted them in 
 rowing, they refused it at first, but I insisted on their taking 
 it. A man is sometimes more generous when he has little 
 than when he has much money ; probably because, in the 
 first case, he is desirous of concealing his poverty. 
 
 I walked towards the top of the street, looking eagerly on 
 both sides, till I came to Market-street, where I met with a 
 child with a loaf of bread. Often had I made my dinner on 
 dry bread. I inquired where he had bought it, and went 
 straight to the baker's shop, which he pointed out to me. I 
 asked for some biscuits, expecting to find such as we had at 
 Boston ; but they made, it seems, none of that sort at Phil- 
 adelphia. I then asked for a threepenny loaf. They made 
 no loaves of that price. Finding myself ignorant of the 
 prices as well as of the different kinds of bread, I desired 
 him to let me have threepenny-worth of bread of some kind 
 or other. He gave me three large rolls. I was surprised 
 at receiving so much : I took them, however, and, having 
 no room in my pockets, I walked on with a roll under each 
 arm, eating a third. In this manner I went through Market- 
 street to Fourth-street, and passed the house of Mr. Read, 
 the father of my future wife. She was standing at the door, 
 observed me, and thought, with reason, that I made a very 
 singular and grotesque appearance. 
 
 I then turned the corner and went through Chestnut-street, 
 eating my roll all the way ; and, having made this round, I 
 found myself again on Market-street wharf, near the boat in 
 which I arrived. I stepped into it to take a draught of the 
 river water; and, finding myself satisfied with my first roll, 
 I gave the other two to a woman and her child, who had 
 come down with us in the boat, and was waiting to continue 
 her journey. Thus refreshed, I regained the street, which 
 was now full of well-dressed people, all going the same way. 
 I joined them, and was thus led to a large Quaker meeting- 
 house near the market-place. 1 sat down with the rest, and, 
 
LITERARY. 37 
 
 after looking round me for some time, hearing nothing said, 
 and being drowsy from my last night's labour and want of 
 rest, I fell into a sound sleep. In this state I continued till 
 the assembly dispersed, when one of the congregation had 
 the goodness to wake me. This was consequently the first 
 house I entered, or in which I slept, at Philadelphia. 
 
 Hunter and Cullen. — The celebrated Dr. William 
 Hunter and Dr. Cullen formed a copartnership of as singular 
 and laudable a kind as is to be found in the annals of science. 
 Being natives of the same part of the country, and neither 
 of them in affluent circumstances, these two young men, 
 stimulated by the impulse of genius to prosecute their medi- 
 cal studies with ardour, but thwarted by the narrowness of 
 their fortune, entered into partnership as surgeons and apoth- 
 ecaries in the country. The chief object of their contract 
 being to furnish each of the parties with the means of pros- 
 ecuting their medical studies, which they could not separ- 
 ately so well enjoy, it was stipulated that one of them, alter- 
 nately, should be allowed to study in what college he pleased 
 during the winter, while the other should carry on the busi- 
 ness in the country for their common advantage. In con- 
 sequence of this agreement, Cullen was first allowed to study 
 in the University of Edinburgh for one winter ; but when it 
 came to Hunter's turn next winter, he preferring London to 
 Edinburgh, went thither. There his singular neatness in 
 dissecting and uncommon dexterity in making anatomical 
 preparations, his assiduity in study and amiable manners, 
 soon recommended him to the notice of Dr. Douglas, who 
 then read lectures upon anatomy in London. Hunter was 
 engaged as an assistant, and afterward filled the chair itself 
 with honour. The scientific partnership was by this means 
 prematurely dissolved. 
 
 Samuel Drew, Author of the Essay on the Immaterial' 
 ity and. Immortality of the Soul. — " My master was by trade 
 a saddler, had acquired some knowledge of bookbinding, and 
 hired me to carry on the shoemaking for him. He was one 
 of those men who will live anywhere, but will get rich no- 
 where. His shop was frequented by persons of a more re- 
 spectable class than those with whom I had previously as- 
 sociated, and various topics became alternately the subjects 
 of conversation. In cases of uncertain issue I was some- 
 times appealed to to decide upon a doubtful point. This, 
 perhaps, flattering my vanity, became a new stimulus to ac- 
 
38 ANECDOTES. 
 
 tion. I examined dictionaries, picked up many words, and 
 from an attachment which I felt to books which were occa- 
 sionally brought to the shop to be bound, I began to have 
 some view of the various theories with which they abounded. 
 The more I read, the more I felt my own ignorance ; and 
 the more I felt my own ignorance, the more invincible be- 
 came my energy to surmount it. Every leisure moment 
 was now employed in reading one thing or another. As I 
 had to support myself by manual labour, my time for read- 
 ing was but little, and to overcome the disadvantage, my 
 usual method was to place a book before me while at meat, 
 and at every repast I read five or six pages. Although the 
 providence of God has raised me above this incessant toil, 
 when I could ' barely earn enough to make life struggle/ 
 yet it has become so habitual that the custom has not for- 
 saken me at the present moment. 
 
 " During my literary pursuits, I regularly and constantly 
 attended on my business, and do not recollect that one cus- 
 tomer was ever disappointed by me through these means. 
 My mode of writing and study may have in them, perhaps, 
 something peculiar. Immersed in the common concerns of 
 life, I endeavour to lift my thoughts to objects more sublime 
 than those with which I am surrounded, and while attending 
 to my trade I sometimes catch the fibres of an argument 
 which I endeavour to note, and keep a pen and 'ink by me 
 for that purpose. In this state, what I can collect through 
 the day remains on any paper which I have at hand till the 
 business of the day is despatched and my shop shut, when, 
 in the midst of my family, I endeavour to analyze in the 
 evening such thoughts as had crossed my mind during the 
 day. I have no study, I have no retirement. I write amid 
 the cries and cradles of my children, and frequently, when 
 I review what I have written, endeavour to cultivate ' the 
 art to blot.' Such are the methods which I have pursued, 
 and such the disadvantages under which I write." 
 
 His usual seat, after closing the business of the day, was 
 a low nursing-chair beside the kitchen fire. Here, with the 
 bellows on his knees for a desk, and the usual culinary and 
 domestic matters in progress around him, his works, prior to 
 1805, were chiefly written. 
 
 Dr. Johnson. — Soon after the publication of the Life of 
 Savage, which was anonymous, Mr. Walter Harte dining 
 with Mr. Cave, the projector of the Gentleman's Magazine, 
 at St. John's Gate, took occasion to speak very handsomely 
 
LITERARY. 39 
 
 of the work. The next time Cave met Harte, he told him 
 that he had made a man very happy the other day at his 
 house by the encomiums he bestowed on the author of Sav- 
 age's life. " How could that be ?" says Harte ; " none 
 were present but you and I." Cave replied, "You might 
 observe I sent a plate of victuals behind the screen. There 
 skulked the biographer, one Johnson, whose dress was so 
 shabby that he durst not make his appearance. He over- 
 heard our conversation, and your applauding his perform- 
 ance delighted him exceedingly." 
 
 FEMALES, ANECDOTES OF. 
 
 Learned Females. — Ladies have sometimes distin- 
 guished themselves as prodigies of learning. 
 
 Queen Elizabeth, by a double translating of Greek without 
 missing every forenoon, and of Latin every afternoon, at- 
 tained to such a perfect understanding in both tongues, and 
 to such a ready utterance of Latin, and that with such judg- 
 ment, as there were few in either of the universities or else- 
 where in England that were comparable to her. 
 
 Lady Jane Grey. — Of Lady Jane Grey it is said, that 
 beside her skill in the Latin and Greek languages, she was 
 acquainted with the Hebrew also, so as to be able to satisfy 
 
 herself in both the originals. 
 
 Mary Cunitz. — Mary Cunitz, one of the greatest ge- 
 niuses in the sixteenth century, was born in Silesia. She 
 learned languages with amazing facility, and understood Po- 
 lish, German, French, Italian, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. 
 She attained a knowledge of the sciences with equal ease ; 
 she was skilled in history, physic, poetry, painting, music, 
 and playing upon instruments ; and yet these were only an 
 amusement. She more particularly applied herself to the 
 mathematics, and especially to astronomy, which she made 
 her principal study, and was ranked in the number of the 
 most able astronomers of her time. Her astronomical tables 
 acquired her a prodigious reputation. 
 
 Margaret. — Margaret, duchess of Newcastle, if not a 
 learned, is known, at least, as a voluminous writer, for she 
 extended her literary productions to the number of twelve 
 folio volumes. 
 
40 ANECDOTES 
 
 A. M. Schurman. — Anna Maria Schurman was born in 
 the year 1607. Her extraordinary genius discovered itself 
 at six years of age, when she cut all sorts of figures in 
 paper with her scissors without a pattern. At eight she 
 learned, in a few days, to draw flowers in a very agreeable 
 manner. At ten she took but three hours to learn embroid- 
 ery. Afterward she was taught music, vocal and instru- 
 mental, painting, sculpture, and engraving; in all which she 
 succeeded admirably. She excelled in miniature painting 
 and in cutting portraits upon glass with a diamond. Hebrew 
 Greek, and Latin were so familiar to her that the most 
 learned men were astonished at it. She spoke French, Ital- 
 ian, and English fluently. Her handwriting, in almost all 
 languages, was so inimitable, that the curious preserved 
 specimens of it in their cabinets. 
 
 C. Grierson. — Constantia Grierson, born of poor parents 
 in the county of Kilkenny, in Ireland, was one of the most 
 learned women on record, though she died at the age of 
 twenty-seven, in 1733. She was an excellent Greek and 
 Latin scholar, and understood history, divinity, philosophy, 
 and mathematics. She proved her skill in Latin by her 
 dedication of the Dublin edition of Tacitus to Lord Carteret, 
 and by that of Terence to his son ; to whom she also ad- 
 dressed a Greek epigram. 
 
 Mary. — Mary, queen of Scots, at an early period, is said 
 to have pronounced with great applause before the whole 
 court a Latin harangue, in which she proved that it was not 
 unbecoming the fair sex to cultivate letters and to acquire 
 learning. She applied also, with great success, to the study 
 of the French, Italian, and Spanish, which she spoke not 
 only with propriety, but with fluency and ease. 
 
 These instances are not selected to imply that a learned 
 education ought to be given to females in general. They 
 are sufficient, however, I think, to decide the controversy 
 respecting the intellectual talents of women compared with 
 those of men ; enough to prove that there are radical powers 
 in the female sex as well as the male. 
 
 Let me press upon my fair readers to study plans of use- 
 fulness, both as to the body and the mind, so that their fam- 
 ilies, their neighbours, their friends, their country, may be 
 the better for them. "While others are weightily engaged 
 in catching a fashion or adjusting a curl, let the object of 
 your cultivation be the understanding, the memory, the will, 
 
LITERARY. 41 
 
 the affections, the conscience. Let no part of this internal 
 creation be unadorned ; let it sparkle with the diamonds ot 
 wisdom, of prudence, of humility, of gentleness. These or- 
 naments alone will confer dignity and prepare for usefulness." 
 
 Useful Females. — It is said of the wife of the learned 
 Budaeus, that, so far from drawing him from his studies, she 
 was sedulous to animate him when he languished. Ever at 
 his side, and ever assiduous, ever with some useful book in 
 her hand, she acknowledged herself to be a most happy wo- 
 man. Budaeus was not insensible of his singular felicity : 
 he called her the faithful companion, not of his life only, but 
 of his studies. 
 
 It is said of Queen Mary II., that she ordered good books 
 to be laid in the places of attendance, that persons might 
 not be idle while they were in their turns of service. She 
 gave her minutes of leisure to architecture and gardening ; 
 and since it employed many hands, she said she hoped it 
 would be forgiven her. 
 
 A young girl was presented to James I. as an English 
 prodigy, because she was deeply learned. The person who 
 introduced her boasted of her proficiency in ancient lan- 
 guages. " I can assure your majesty," said he, " that she 
 can both speak and write Latin, Greek, and Hebrew." 
 " These are rare attainments for a damsel," said James : 
 " but, pray tell me, can she spin ?" 
 
 Intrepid Enterprise. — It was to a woman that Europe 
 was first indebted for the introduction of inoculation for the 
 smallpox, originally a benefit of the greatest consequence. 
 When Lady Mary Wortley Montague resided at Constanti- 
 nople with her husband, who was ambassador to the Otto- 
 man court, the practice of inoculation was universal through- 
 out the Turkish dominions. Lady Mary examined into the 
 practice with such attention as to become perfectly satisfied 
 of its efficacy, and gave the most intrepid and convincing 
 proof of her belief, in 1717, by inoculating her own son, who 
 was then about three years of age. Mr. Maitland, who had 
 attended the embassy in a medical character, first endeav- 
 oured to establish the practice in London, and was encour- 
 aged by Lady Mary's patronage. In 1721 the experiment 
 was successfully tried on some criminals. With so much 
 ardour did Lady Mary, on her return, enforce this salutary 
 F 
 
42 ANECDOTES. 
 
 innovation among mothers of her own rank, that, as we find 
 in her letters, much of her time was necessarily dedicated to 
 various consultations, and to the superintendence of the suc- 
 cess of her plan. In 1722 she had a daughter of six years 
 old inoculated, who was afterward Countess of Bute ; and, 
 in a short time, the children of the royal family that had not 
 had the smallpox underwent the same operation with suc- 
 cess ; the nobility soon followed the example, and the prac- 
 tice thus gradually extended among all ranks and to all 
 countries, in spite of many strong prejudices which it had to 
 encounter. 
 
 Mrs. Montague. — Many years after Mrs. Montague's 
 celebrated " Dialogues of the Dead" had received the appro- 
 bation of all persons of critical taste, it fell into the hands of 
 Cowper the poet, who, after reading it, thus wrote to one 
 of his correspondents : "Ino longer wonder that Mrs. Mon- 
 tague stands at the head of all that is called learned, and 
 that every critic veils his bonnet to her superior judgment ; 
 the learning, the sound judgment, and the wit displayed in 
 it fully justify, not only my compliment, but all compliments 
 that either have already been paid to her talents or shall be 
 paid hereafter." 
 
 Mrs. Frances Sheridan. — This lady, who had the hon 
 our of giving birth to that eloquent orator and able dramatist, 
 Richard Brinsley Sheridan, was also distinguished for her 
 literary attainments. Her first literary performance was a 
 pamphlet, during the time in which Mr. Sheridan was en- 
 gaged in a theatrical dispute with the public in Dublin. The 
 pamphlet being well written, and rendering Mr. Sheridan an 
 essential service, he became anxious to know to whom he 
 was indebted for so able a defence ; after some inquiries he 
 found this out, got introduced to the lady, and soon after 
 married her. 
 
 IGNORANCE. 
 
 Adam Clarke. — One ludicrous circumstance, relative to 
 an invitation to breakfast, I may here mention. After Mr. 
 Clarke had preached one morning at five o'clock, a young 
 woman of the society came to him and said, "Sir, will 
 you do me the favour to breakfast, with me this morn 
 
LITERARY. 43 
 
 ing ? I breakfast always at eight o'clock." I thank you, 
 said he, but I know not where you live. " Oh," said she, " I 
 
 live in street, near Maudlin gate, No. — ." / do not 
 
 know the place. " Well, but you cannot well miss it, after 
 the directions I shall give you." Very well. "You must 
 cross Cherry Lane, and go on to the Quaker preaching- 
 house : do you know it ?" Yes. *' Well, then leave the 
 Quaker preaching-house on the left hand, and go down that 
 lane till you come to the bottom ; and then, on your right 
 hand, you will see a door that appears to lead into a garden, 
 with an inscription over it: can you read?'''' Yes, a little. 
 " Well, then the board will direct you so and so, and you can- 
 not then miss." Thank you : I shall endeavour to be with 
 you at the time appointed. " I went," said Mr. Clark, " and 
 because I had the happiness of being able to read, I found 
 out my way." 
 
 This little anecdote will serve to show, that in those times 
 the Methodists could not expect much from their ministers, 
 as it appears they thought it possible they might have some 
 that could not read their Bible ! Howsoever illiterate they 
 may have been deemed, it may be safely asserted that no in 
 stance is on record of an itinerant preacher among the Metho- 
 dists being unable to read his Bible. Many, it is true, of the 
 original preachers could read but indifferently : and I have 
 known several of the clergy who did not excel even in this : 
 and I have known one who, in reading 2 Kings xix., made 
 three unsuccessful trials to pronounce the word Sennacherib 
 — Sennacrib, Sennacherub, and terminated with Snatch- 
 crab ! But such swallows make no summers, and should 
 never be produced as instances from which the general 
 character of a class or body of men should be deduced. 
 The time is long past since men in any department of life 
 have been prized on account of their ignorance. 
 
 A Learned Discovery. — Among the discoveries of the 
 learned which have amused mankind, the following instance 
 merits a conspicuous rank. Some years ago there were sev- 
 eral large elm-trees in the College Garden, behind the Ec- 
 clesiastical Court, Doctors' Commons, in which a number of 
 rooks had taken up their abode, forming in appearance a sort 
 of convocation of aerial ecclesiastics. A young gentleman 
 who lodged in an attic, and was their close neighbour, fre- 
 quently entertained himself with thinning this covey of black 
 game by means of a crossbow. On the opposite side lived 
 a curious old civilian, who, observing from his study that the 
 
44 ANECDOTES. 
 
 rooks had often dropped senseless from their perch, no sign 
 being made to his vision to account for the phenomenon, set 
 his wits to work to consider the cause. It was probably 
 during a profitless time of peace ; and the doctor, having 
 plenty of leisure, weighed the matter over and over, till he 
 was at length satisfied that he had made a great ornithologi- 
 cal discovery. He actually wrote a treatise, stating circum- 
 stantially what he himself had seen, and in conclusion giving 
 it as the settled conviction of his mind that rooks were sub- 
 ject to epilepsy ! 
 
 A Water Quack. — In the year 1728, one Villars told 
 his friends in confidence that his uncle, who had lived al- 
 most a hundred years, and who died only by accident, had 
 left him a certain preparation, which had the virtue to pro- 
 long a man's life to a hundred and fifty years, if he lived 
 with sobriety. "When he happened to observe the proces- 
 sion of a funeral, he shrugged up his shoulders in pity. " If 
 the deceased," said he, "had taken my medicine, he would 
 not be where he is." His friends, among whom he distrib- 
 uted it generously, observing the condition required, found 
 its utility, and extolled it. He was thence encouraged to 
 sell it at a crown the bottle ; and the sale was prodigious. It 
 was no more than the water of the Seine, mixed with a little 
 nitre. Those who made use of it, and were attentive at the 
 same time to the regimen, or who were happy in good con- 
 stitutions, soon recovered their usual health. To others he 
 observed, " It is your own fault if you are not perfectly 
 cured; you have been intemperate and incontinent; renounce 
 these vices, and, believe me, you will live at least a hun- 
 dred and fifty years." Some of them took his advice, and 
 his wealth grew with his reputation. The Abbe Pones ex- 
 lolled this quack, and gave him the preference to the Maris- 
 chal de Villars ; " the latter," says he, " kills men, the former 
 prolongs their existence." At length it was discovered that 
 Villars's medicine was composed chiefly of river water; his 
 practice was now at an end ; men had recourse to other 
 quacks. 
 
 Villars was certainly of no disservice to his patients, and 
 can only be reproached with selling the water of the Seine 
 at too high a* price. 
 
 Titles. — Several years ago there was a young English 
 nobleman figuring away at Washington. He had not much 
 brains, but a vast number of titles, which, notwithstanding 
 
LITERARY. 45 
 
 our pretended dislike to them, have sometimes the effect of 
 tickling the ear amazingly. Several ladies were in debate, 
 going over the list; he is Lord Viscount so and so, Baron 
 of such a county, &c. " My fair friends," exclaimed the 
 gallant Lieutenant N., " one of his titles you appear to have 
 forgotten." " Ah," exclaimed they, eagerly, " what is that ? " 
 " He is Barren of Intellect" was the reply. 
 
 Tyrants the Enemies of Knowledge. — Sir William 
 Berkeley, who was governor of Virginia thirty-eight years, in 
 his answer to the inquiries of the lords of the committee for 
 the colonies in 1671, sixty-four years after the settlement of 
 the province, says, "I thank God we have not free-schools 
 nor printing, and I hope we shall not have these hundred 
 years ; for learning has brought disobedience, and heresy, 
 and sects into the world; and printing has divulged them, 
 and libels against the government. God keep us from both." 
 Lord Effingham, who was appointed* governor in 1683, was 
 ordered expressly "to allow no person to use a printing 
 press on any occasion whatsoever ;" and, though no act of 
 the legislature can be found prohibiting the press in Vir 
 ginia, such was the influence of the governors as to be suf 
 ficient without it ; for, until 1766, there was but one printing- 
 office in the colony, and that was supposed to be entirely un- 
 der the control of the governor. 
 
 Learned Quack. (By Billy Hibbard). — A lady who 
 was much afflicted, and who had been attended by several 
 physicians to no purpose, was persuaded by her friends to 
 call in the learned quack ; so he came, and, after feeling the 
 pulse a while, the sick woman said, " Well, doctor, do you 
 know my case ?" " Oh, yes, mem, it is a plain case." 
 " Well, doctor, what is it ?" " Why, mem, it is a scrutanu- 
 tory case." " Scrutanutory case, doctor ; pray, what is 
 that ?" " It's a dropping of the nerves, mem." " Dropping 
 of the nerves, doctor; what's that?" "Why, mem, the 
 numnaticals drop down into the pizer-inctum, and the head 
 goes tizer-rizer, tizer-rizer" "Ah, docjter, you have hit 
 my case ; it is just so with me." 
 
 Self-knowledge. — Self-knowledge was considered, 
 even by the heathens, as so indispensably necessary, that it 
 was a motto engraved on one of their temples, " Know thy- 
 self 7" Thus they made the stones cry out of the wall to 
 every one who entered, that, without this important acquisi- 
 tion, he was a vain worshipper. 
 
46 ANECDOTES. 
 
 A young man of more vanity than prudence once told 
 Robert Hall that he intended to refute a certain book which 
 was much admired by the latter. " You attack that author !" 
 exclaimed the indignant Hall ; " a fly take wing against an 
 archangel !" 
 
 Farmer's Son. — A rich farmer's son who had been bred 
 at the university, coming home to visit his father and mother, 
 they being at supper on a couple of fowls, he told them that 
 by logic and arithmetic he could prove those two fowls to 
 be three. "Well, let us hear," said the old man. "Why, 
 this," said the scholar, " is one, and this," continued he, " is 
 two; two and one, you know, make three." "Since you 
 have made it out so well," answered the old man, "your 
 mother shall have the first fowl, I will have the second, and 
 the third you may keep to yourself for your great learning." 
 
 Arrogant Collec/ate. — Nothing is more ridiculous 
 than to boast of advantages of education which have not 
 been improved. A young clergyman in America was lately 
 boasting among his relations of having been educated at two 
 colleges, Harvard and Cambridge. " You remind me," said 
 an aged divine present, " of an instance I knew of a calf 
 that sucked two cows." "What was the consequence?" 
 said a third person. " Why, sir," replied the old gentleman, 
 very gravely, " the consequence was that he was a very 
 great calf." 
 
 Lieutenant-governor Phillips. — Many years since, 
 when the late Lieutenant-governor Phillips, of Andover, 
 Massachusetts, was a student at Harvard College, owing to 
 some boyish freak, he left the university and went home. 
 His father was a grave man, of sound mind, strict judgment, 
 and of few words. He inquired into the business, but de- 
 ferred expressing any opinion until the next day. At break- 
 fast he said, speaking to his wife, "My dear, have you any 
 towcloth in the house suitable to make Sam a frock and 
 trousers." She replied, "Yes." " Well," said the old gen- 
 tleman, " follow me, my son." Samuel kept pace with his 
 father as he leisurely walked near the common, and at length 
 ventured to ask, " What are you going to do with me, fa- 
 ther ?" " I am going to bind you an apprentice to that black- 
 smith," replied Mr. Phillips. " Take your choice ; return 
 to college, or you must work." u I had rather return," said 
 the son. He did return, confessed his fault, was a good 
 
LITERARY. 47 
 
 scholar, and became a respectable man. If all parents were 
 like Mr. Phillips, the students at our colleges would prove 
 better students, or the nation would have a plentiful supply 
 of blacksmiths. 
 
 Poverty of the Learned. — Fortune has rarely conde- 
 scended to be the companion of genius : others find a hun- 
 dred by-roads to her palace ; there is but one open, and that 
 a very indifferent one, for men of letters. Were we to erect 
 an asylum for venerable genius, as we do for the brave and 
 the helpless part of our citizens, it might be inscribed a hos- 
 pital for incurables ! When even fame will not protect the 
 man of genius from famine, charity ought. Nor should such 
 an act be considered as a debt incurred by the helpless 
 member, but a just tribute we pay in his person to genius 
 itself. Even in these enlightened times such have lived in 
 obscurity while their reputation was widely spread, and have 
 perished in poverty while their works were enriching the 
 booksellers. 
 
 Homer, poor and blind, resorted to the public places to 
 recite his verses for a morsel of bread. 
 
 The illustrious Cardinal Bentivoglio, the ornament of Italy 
 and of literature, languished in his old age in the most dis- 
 tressful poverty ; and, having sold his place to satisfy his 
 creditors, left nothing behind him but his reputation. 
 
 Our great Milton, as every one knows, sold his immortal 
 work for ten pounds to a bookseller, being too poor to under- 
 take the printing of it on his own account. 
 
 It is said that Samuel Boyse, whose poem on creation 
 ranks high in the scale of poetic excellence, was absolutely 
 famished to death ; and was found dead in a garret, with a 
 blanket thrown over his shoulder, and fastened by a skewer, 
 with a pen in his hand. He was buried by the parish. 
 
 Singular Cases of Inability to distinguish Colours. 
 — Mr. Harris, a shoemaker at Allonby, was unable from in- 
 fancy to distinguish the cherries of a cherry-tree from its 
 leaves, in so far as colours were concerned. Two of his 
 brothers were equally defective in this respect, -and always 
 mistook orange for grass green, and light green for yellow. 
 Harris himself could only distinguish black from white. 
 Mr. Scott, who describes his own case in the " Philosophical 
 Transactions," mistook pink for a pale blue, and a full red 
 for a full green. All kinds of yellows and blues, except 
 sky blue, he could discern with great nicety. His father, 
 
48 ANECDOTES. 
 
 his maternal uncle, one of his sisters, and Her two sons, had 
 all the same defect. A tailor at Plymouth, whose case is 
 described by Mr. Harvey, regarded the solar spectrum as 
 consisting only of yellow and light blue ; and he could dis- 
 tinguish with certainty only yellow, white, and green. He 
 regarded indigo and Prussian blue as black. — Treatise on 
 Optics, by Dr. Brewster — Cabinet Encyclopedia, Vol. XIX. 
 
 Languages of the World. — According to the enumer- 
 ation of Professor Adelung, there are in the world three thou- 
 sand and sixty-four different languages ; of which five hun- 
 dred and eighty-seven are spoken in Europe, nine hundred 
 and thirty-seven in Asia, two hundred and seventy-six in 
 Africa, and one thousand two hundred and sixty-four in 
 America. The professor probably includes in this enumer- 
 ation many provincial corruptions of the same general lan- 
 guages. 
 
 Amusements of the Learned. — Among the Jesuits it 
 was a standing rule of the order, that, after an application to 
 study for two hours, the mind of the student should be un- 
 bent by some relaxation, however trifling. When Petavius 
 was employed in his Dogmata Theologica, a work of the 
 most profound and extensive erudition, the great recreation 
 of the learned father was at the end of every second hour to 
 twirl his chair for five minutes. After protracted studies 
 Spinosa would mix with the family-party where he lodged, 
 and join in the most trivial conversations, or unbend his 
 mind by setting spiders to fight each other; he observed 
 their combats with so much interest that he was often seized 
 with immoderate fits of laughter. A continuity of labour 
 deadens the soul, observes Seneca, in closing his treatise on 
 " The Tranquillity of the Soul," and the mind must unbend 
 itself by certain amusements. Socrates did not blush to 
 play with children ; Cato, over his bottle, found an allevia- 
 tion from the fatigues of government ; a circumstance, he 
 says in his manner, which rather gives honour to this defect, 
 than the defect dishonours Cato. Some men of letters por- 
 tioned out their day between repose and labour. Asinius 
 Pollio would not suffer any business to occupy him beyond 
 a stated hour ; after that time he would not allow any letter 
 to be opened during his hours of relaxation, that they might 
 not be interrupted by unforeseen labours. In the senate, 
 after the tenth hour, it was not allowed to make any new 
 motion. 
 
T E R A R Y. 49 
 
 INVENTIONS AND DISCOVERIES. 
 
 Franklin — Electricity. — Franklin's celebrated discov- 
 ery of the identity of lightning with the electric fire is one 
 of the few capital discoveries in science for which we are 
 not at all indebted to chance, but to one of those bold and 
 happy sketches of thought which distinguish minds of a su- 
 perior order. The fact of the power of points to attract the 
 electric fluid from a great distance was not unknown to the 
 ancients ; but it had quite sunk into oblivion, and the theory 
 of this relation occurred to and was proposed by Franklin 
 before he had made or known of a single experiment to rec- 
 tify it. After it was proposed by Franklin, the first persons 
 who put it to the test of experiment were Messrs. Dalabard 
 'and Delor, who erected an apparatus for the express pur- 
 pose ; and were not a little jeered at, especially by the Ab- 
 be Nollet, for endangering their philosophical reputation by 
 exhibiting themselves, en spectacle, to the world, in the bold 
 attempt of drawing down from the clouds the matter of the 
 thunderbolt. Messrs. Dalabard and Delor, however, suc- 
 ceeded in proving most satisfactorily the truth of Franklin's 
 theory ; as did Franklin himself about a month afterward, 
 but before he had heard of anything of what they had done 
 
 Franklin was waiting for the erection of a spire in Phila- 
 delphia in order to verify his hypothesis, when it occurred 
 to him that, by means of a common kite, he could have a 
 readier and easier access to the regions of thunder than by 
 any spire whatever. Preparing, therefore, a large silk hand- 
 kerchief and two cross sticks on which to extend it, he took 
 the opportunity of the first approaching thunderstorm to walk 
 into a field in which there was a shed convenient for his 
 purpose. But, desirous of avoiding the ridicule which too 
 commonly attends unsuccessful attempts in science, he com- 
 municated his intended experiment to nobody but his son, 
 who assisted him in raising the kite. 
 
 The kite being raised, a considerable time elapsed before 
 tnere was any appearance of its being electrified. One very 
 promising cloud had passed over it without any effect, when, 
 at length, just as he was beginning to despair of his con- 
 trivance, he observed some loose threads of the hempen 
 string to stand erect and avoid one another just as if they 
 had been suspended on a common conductor. Struck with 
 this promising appearance, he presented his knuckle to the 
 key, when he instantly perceived a very evident electric 
 
 3 
 
50 ANECDOTES. 
 
 spark. Other sparks succeeded at short intervals ; and, when 
 the string became wet with lain, electric fire was collected 
 in abundance. The discovery, in short, was complete. 
 
 Dr. Franklin acknowledges that his grand discoveries in 
 electricity were owing to Mr. P. Collinson, the botanist. He 
 says, " Mr. Collinson transmitted to the Philadelphia Library 
 the earliest accounts of every new European improvement 
 in agriculture and the arts, and every philosophical discov- 
 ery ; among which, in 1745, he sent over an account of the 
 new German experiments in electricity, together with a 
 glass tube and some directions for using it, so as to repeat 
 those experiments. This was the first notice I had of that 
 curious subject, which I afterward prosecuted with some 
 diligence, being encouraged by the friendly reception he 
 gave to the letters I wrote to him." 
 
 Discovery of Galvanism. — This extraordinary agent, 
 from its effect on animals, was originally called "animal 
 electricity." It received its name from Professor Galvani, 
 of Bologna, to whom we are indebted for this discovery, in 
 which, however, as in many others, accident had no small 
 share. His wife, who was in a declining state of health, 
 was using a soup made of frogs as a restorative. Some of 
 the animals, being skinned for the purpose, were lying on a 
 table in the laboratory, when one of his assistants chanced 
 to touch with a scalpel the crural nerve of a frog that lay 
 near an electric conductor, upon which the muscles of the 
 limb were strongly convulsed. This effect was noticed by 
 the lady, a woman of superior understanding and science, 
 and communicated to her husband. He repeated the exper- 
 iment, which he varied in every possible way, first with arti- 
 ficial and then with atmospherical electricity. In the course 
 of his experiments with the latter, he suspended some frogs 
 by metallic hooks from iron palisades, and observed that the 
 muscles were frequently and involuntarily contracted when 
 no electricity appeared in the atmosphere. Having fully 
 considered the phenomenon, he found that it had no con- 
 nexion with the changes in the state of the electricity in the 
 atmosphere, but might be produced at pleasure by applying 
 two pieces of metal to different parts of the animal, and 
 bringing them into contact. 
 
 Early Printing. — There is some probability that this 
 art originated in China, where it was practised long before 
 it was known in Europe. Some European traveller might 
 
LITERARY. 51 
 
 have imported the hint. That the Romans did not practise 
 the art of printing cannot but excite our astonishment, since 
 they really possessed the art, and may be said to have en- 
 joyed it unconscious of their rich possession. I have seen 
 Roman stereotypes, or printing immoveable types, with which 
 they stamped their pottery. How, in daily practising the art, 
 though confined to this object, it did not occur to so inge- 
 nious a people to print their literary works, is not easily to 
 be accounted for. Did the wise and grave senate dread 
 those inconveniences which attended its indiscriminate use ? 
 Or, perhaps, they did not care to deprive so large a body as 
 their scribes of their business. Not a hint of the art itself 
 appears in their writings. 
 
 Chronology of Printing. — Previous to the year 1600, 
 printing on wooden blocks said to be known in China. 
 
 1400. Playing cards printed from blocks in Europe. 
 
 1440. John Genesteish, surnamed Guttembergh, first 
 prints in any alphabetical language from wooden blocks, 
 which served only for the work printed. 
 
 1445. John Meydenbuch joins his wealth to the skill of 
 Guttembergh and John Faustus, who were the first printers. 
 
 About this time Faustus invents moveable metallic types ; 
 receiving assistance from his son-in-law, Peter SchcefTer, who 
 devised the puncheons, matrices, and moulds for casting them. 
 
 1462. Faustus prints the Vulgate Bible in two volumes, 
 which he sold at first as high as five hundred crowns per 
 copy. Having reduced the price to thirty, he was seriously 
 adjudged to be in league with the devil, and would have 
 been sacrificed for witchcraft had he not explained his art. 
 
 1466. Faustus prints Cicero de Officiis, and soon after dies. 
 
 1473. Greek first printed. 
 
 1474. First printing in England. 
 
 1475. First almanac printed, 
 
 1495. Wilkin de Worde prints the first book on paper 
 manufactured in England. 
 
 1499. First work of a geographical nature printed in Spain 
 about this time. 
 
 1501. Inquisition at Venice to check the diffusion of 
 knowledge by the press. 
 
 1522. Hebrew printed in Germany. 
 
 1531. Gazettes first published in Venice, and so called 
 from a. coin named gazetta, which was the price of a paper. 
 
 1537. The first book on longitude written by Nonius and 
 printed in Portugal. 
 
52 ANECDOTES. 
 
 1539. The first Bible printed in England. 
 
 1545. The first treatise of navigation, by Medina, printed 
 in Spain. 
 
 1564. An alphabet, with instructions for the deaf and 
 dumb, printed in Spain. 
 
 1571. Printers in Paris, as a mark of respect, authorized to 
 wear swords. 
 
 1576. Book of Diophantine Algebra first printed. 
 
 1588. " English Mercurie," a pamphlet, printed ; the first 
 attempt at periodical literature. 
 
 1603. First decimal arithmetic printed in Flanders. 
 
 1612. King James's (the present) version of the Bible, 
 which had been seven years in the hands of the translators, 
 printed. 
 
 1615. Napier's Logarithms printed. 
 
 1639. Printing at Cambridge, Massachusetts, being the 
 first within the present limits of the United States. 
 
 1649. The first code of Russian laws printed. 
 
 1661. The "Public Intelligence," by Sir Robert l'Es- 
 tradge, the first newspaper published in England, of which a 
 few numbers are still preserved. 
 
 1665. First treatise on ensurance printed. 
 
 1705. The "Boston News Letter," the first paper within 
 the limits of the United States, printed by John Campbell, 
 a Scotchman. 
 
 1706. Dr. Franklin, the great American printer, philoso- 
 pher, and statesman, born in Boston. 
 
 1719. American "Weekly Mercury," the first paper in 
 Philadelphia, printed. 
 
 1728. The "New-York Gazette," the first paper in that 
 state, published in June. 
 
 1729. " Maryland Gazette" printed. 
 
 1731. Printing in South Carolina. 
 
 1732. First printing on paper made within the present 
 limits of the United States. 
 
 1737. First printing in Georgia. 
 1755. Johnson's Dictionary printed in England. 
 1771. Printing in Louisiana. 
 
 1776. Fifty-six newspapers printed in the United States. 
 1797. First printing in Mississippi. 
 1799. The " Mississippi Gazette" printed in Natchez. 
 1814. Printing in Alabama. 
 
 1828. Nine hundred newspapers in the United States 
 1836. One thousand three hundred newspapers in the 
 twenty-six states, territories, and District of Columbia 
 
LITERARY. 53 
 
 Printer's Widow. — A printer's widow in Germany, 
 while a new edition of the Bible was printing at her house, 
 one night took an opportunity of going into the office to alter 
 that sentence of subjection to her husband pronounced upon 
 Eve in Genesis, chap, iii., v. 16. She took out the first two 
 letters of the word Herr, and substituted Na in their place, 
 thus altering the sentence from " and he shall be thy Lord" 
 (He?~r), to "and he shall be thy Fool" (Narr). It is said 
 her life paid for this intentional erratum ; and that some se- 
 creted copies of this edition have been bought up at enormous 
 prices. 
 
 Spence's Perpetual Motion. — Among those who have 
 attempted the grand problem which has puzzled philoso- 
 phers in all ages-, the discovery of perpetual motion, few 
 persons have displayed more ingenuity than John Spence, 
 an untutored mechanic of Linlithgow. When only three or 
 four years of age, Spence was excessively fond of mechani- 
 cal inventions, and never could get the idea of them banished 
 from his mind. When eleven years old he invented and 
 constructed a model of a loom, the whole working apparatus 
 of which was set in motion by a winch or handle at one side. 
 It was contrived on the same principle as the looms subse- 
 quently constructed in Glasgow to be wrought by the steam- 
 engine, but had less machinery. He gave the model to a 
 gentleman of Stirling, and never heard what became of it. 
 
 When twelve years old he was put to the trade of a shoe- 
 maker; after only eight days' instruction he was able to 
 make shoes on his own account; not that he was master of 
 the trade, but he was then left to the resources of his own 
 ingenuity, and acquired the art without further actual super- 
 intendence. But the natural bent of his genius leaned to- 
 wards mechanics, and he never liked the employment. 
 Wheels and levers occupied his mind from his earliest rec- 
 ollection, and he was happy when he was inventing or con- 
 structing what he had invented. He soon left his native 
 town and went to Glasgow, not with the view of following 
 out the trade of a shoemaker, but in the hope of getting into 
 an employment which would place him near some of the 
 magnificent machines used by the manufacturers of that city. 
 Uninstructed as an artist, however, and utterly ignorant of 
 spinning and weaving, it was difficult for him to find a situ- 
 ation about a manufactory which he was fitted to fill. At 
 last he thought himself qualified for the humble situation of 
 the keeper of an engine, and accordingly engaged himself 
 
54 ANECDOTES 
 
 in that capacity. For two years his daily occupation was 
 to feed the furnace and to oil the engine ; and he felt happy 
 in the employment, for it afforded him an opportunity of 
 looking upon wheels in motion. Tired at last of the same- 
 ness of the scene, he returned to Linlithgow, and endeavoured 
 to follow his original trade. But the mechanical powers 
 still haunted his imagination, and he continued to invent 
 and construct, till he sometimes brought upon himself the 
 admonitions of his friends and the scoffs of his enemies for 
 devoting so much time to his visionary inventions, as they 
 called them, instead of attending to his trade. The invention 
 of the long-sought-for perpetual motion appeared to him a 
 splendid enterprise, attracted by the difficulty which attend- 
 ed it, and it excited his ambition by the very obstacles which 
 it presented. He directed his ingenuity to that object, and 
 at length he produced a piece of mechanism of extraordinary 
 ingenuity. 
 
 In the year 1814 he had become so disgusted with the 
 trade of a shoemaker that he could continue it no longer. 
 He now conceived the idea of becoming a weaver. He had 
 then in view to erect looms to be worked by a water-wheel, 
 and thus promised for himself both profit and pleasure from 
 his change of profession. Accordingly, his first object was 
 to learn the trade of a weaver. This was soon accomplished. 
 He constructed with his own hands the whole apparatus of 
 a loom except the treddles and reed ; got a professional 
 weaver to put in the first web, and, without any other instruc- 
 tion, made as good cloth as those regularly bred to the busi- 
 ness. This scheme, however, was never prosecuted further. 
 
 His last effort was to complete his discovery of a perpet- 
 ual motion. The invention was known in Linlithgow a con- 
 siderable time before it was made known to the public ; but 
 it was despised there in the usual way, for a prophet is not 
 without honour save in his own country. The voice of 
 fame, however, at length taught the good folks that a genius 
 was among them, and they then crowded to see it with as 
 much eagerness as they had formerly displayed indifference 
 about it. A considerable number of strangers also visited 
 it, and all expressed their admiration of the ingenuity, and, 
 at the same time, the simplicity of the contrivance. 
 
 It is difficult to convey an idea of the invention by descrip- 
 tion. A wooden beam, poised by the centre, has a piece of 
 steel attached to one end of it, which is alternately drawn 
 up by a piece of magnet placed above it, and down by an- 
 other placed below it ; and as the end of the beam approaches 
 
LITERARY. 55 
 
 the magnet, either above or below, the machine interjects a 
 non-conducting substance, which suspends the attraction of 
 the magnet approached, and allows the other to exert its 
 powers. Thus the end of the beam continually ascends 
 and descends between the two magnets without ever com- 
 ing into contact with either, the attractive power of each 
 being suspended precisely at the moment of its nearest ap- 
 proach. As the magnetic attraction is a permanently opera- 
 ting power, there appears to be no limit to the continuance 
 of the motion but the endurance of the materials of the ma- 
 chine. 
 
 Spectacles. — Spectacles first became known about the 
 beginning of the fourteenth century ; an inscription on the 
 tomb of a nobleman, Salvinus Armatus, of Florence, who 
 died in 1317, states that he was the inventor. The person, 
 however, who first made the invention public was Alexan- 
 der Spina, a native of Pisa. He happened to see a pair of 
 spectacles in the hands of a person who would or could not 
 explain the principle of them to him ; but he succeeded in 
 making a pair for himself, and immediately made their con 
 struction public for the good of others. 
 
 Michael Angelo. — It was a saying of this great artist, 
 that a sculptor should carry his compass in his eye. "The 
 hands, indeed," said he, "do the work, but the eye judges." 
 Of his power of eye he was so certain, that, having once or- 
 dered a block of marble to be brought to him, he told the 
 stonecutter to cut away some particular parts of the marble, 
 and to polish others. Very soon an exquisite figure started 
 out from the block ; the stonecutter looked amazed. " My 
 friend," said Michael Angelo, "what do you think of it 
 now ?" " I hardly know what to think of it," answered the 
 astonished mechanic : " it is a very fine figure, to be sure. 
 I am under infinite obligations to you, sir, for thus making 
 me discover in myself a talent which I never knew I pos- 
 sessed." Angelo, full of the great and sublime ideas of his 
 art, lived very much alone, and never suffered a day to pass 
 without handling his chisel or his pencil. When some per- 
 son reproached him with living so melancholy and solitary 
 a life, he said, " Art is a jealous thing ; it requires the whole 
 and entire man." 
 
 Printing. — It is related that Faust, of Mentz, one of the 
 many persons to whom the honour of having invented the 
 
56 ANECDOTES. 
 
 invaluable art of printing is ascribed, having carried a parcel 
 of his Bibles to Paris and offered them for sale as MSS., the 
 French, after considering the number of books and their ex- 
 act conformity to one another, even to points and commas, 
 and that the best book-writers could not be near so exact, 
 concluded there was witchcraft in the case, and by either 
 actually indicting him as a conjuror, or threatening to do so, 
 extorted the secret. Hence the origin of the popular story 
 of the devil and Dr. Faustus. 
 
 Mezzotinto. — Prince Rupert, nephew to Charles the 
 First, who devoted himself much to the prosecution of 
 chymical and philosophical experiments, as well as the 
 practice of mechanic arts, for which he was famous, was 
 the inventor of mezzotinto, of which he is said to have taken 
 the hint from a soldier scraping his rusty fusil. 
 
 The prince, going out early one morning, observed a sen- 
 tinel at some distance from his post very busy doing some- 
 thing to his piece. The prince inquired what he was about. 
 He replied that the dew had fallen in the night and made 
 his fusil rusty, and therefore he was scraping and cleaning 
 it. The prince, looking at it, was struck with something 
 like a figure eaten into the barrel, with innumerable little 
 holes closed together like friezework on gold and silver, 
 part of which the soldier had scraped away. Fom this tri 
 fling incident Prince Rupert conceived the idea of mezzo 
 tinto. He concluded that some contrivance might be found 
 to cover a brass plate with such a grained ground of fine 
 pressed holes as would undoubtedly give an impression all 
 black, and that, by scraping away proper parts, the smooth 
 superflces would leave the rest of the paper white. Com- 
 municating his ideas to Wallerant Vaillant, a painter, they 
 made several experiments, and at last invented a steel roller, 
 cut with tools to make teeth like a file or rasp, with project- 
 ing points, which effectually produced the black grounds ; 
 these being scraped away and diminished at pleasure, left 
 the gradations of light. It is said that the first mezzotinto 
 print ever published was engraved by the prince himself. 
 It may be seen in the first edition of Evelyn's Sculptura ; 
 and there is a copy of it in the second edition, printed in 
 1755. 
 
 The Speaking Scrolls of Old. — Simon Memmi, who 
 flourished at Siena in the beginning of the fourteenth cen- 
 tury, was the first painter who, by way of explanation, put 
 
LITERARY. 57 
 
 written scrolls in the mouths of his figures, a practice which 
 afterward became common. There is a piece of his now in 
 existence, wherein the devil, almost expiring from the se- 
 vere pursuit of a saint, exclaims, Ohime ! Non posso piu. 
 Oh ! oh ! It is all over with me. 
 
 Sculpture — Pliny relates a pleasing anecdote of the in- 
 vention of sculpture. Dibutades, the fair daughter of a cel- 
 ebrated potter of Sicyon, contrived a private meeting with 
 her lover at the eve of a long separation. A repetition of 
 vows of constancy, and a stay prolonged to a very late hour, 
 overpowered at length the faculties of the youth, and he fell 
 fast asleep. The nymph, whose imagination was more alert, 
 observing that, by the light of a lamp, her admirer's profile 
 was strongly marked on the wall, eagerly snatched up a 
 piece of charcoal, and, inspired by love, traced the outline 
 with such success, that her father, when he chanced to see 
 the sketch, determined to preserve, if possible, the effect. 
 With this view he formed a kind of clay model from it, 
 which first essay of the kind had the honour to be preserved 
 in the public repository of Corinth, even to the fatal day of 
 its destruction by that enemy to the arts, Mummius Archa- 
 icus. 
 
 Bills of Exchange. — The circumstance which gave rise 
 to the introduction of bills of exchange in the mercantile 
 world was the banishment from France, in the reigns of 
 Philip Augustus and Philip v the Long, of the Jews, who, it 
 is well known, took refuge in Lombardy. On their leaving 
 the kingdom, they had committed to the care of some per- 
 sons in whom they could place confidence such of their prop- 
 erty as they could not carry with them. Having fixed their 
 abode in a new country, they furnished various foreign mer- 
 chants and travellers, whom they had commissioned to bring 
 away their fortunes, with secret letters, which were accepted 
 in France by those who had the care of their effects. Thus 
 the merit of the invention of exchanges belongs to the Jews 
 exclusively. They discovered the means of substituting 
 impalpable riches for palpable ones, the former being trans- 
 missible to all parts without leaving behind them any traces 
 indicative of the way they have taken. 
 
 Galileo. — The succession of the noble discoveries made 
 by Galileo, the most splendid, probably, which it ever fell to 
 he lot of one individual to make, in a better age would have 
 
 H 
 
58 ANECDOTES 
 
 entitled its author to the admiration and gratitude of the 
 whole scientific world ; but they, were viewed at the time 
 with suspicion and jealousy. The ability and success with 
 which Galileo had laboured to overturn the doctrines of Aris- 
 totle and the schoolmen, as well as to establish the motion 
 of the earth arid the immobility of the sun, excited many 
 enemies. The church itself was roused to action by reflect- 
 ing that it had staked the infallibility of its judgments on the 
 truth of the very opinions which were now in danger of being 
 overthrown. 
 
 The Dialogues of Galileo contained a full exposition of 
 the evidence of the earth's motion, and set forth the errors 
 of the old, as well as the discoveries of the new philosophy 
 with great force of reasoning, and with the charms of the 
 most lively eloquence. They are written, indeed, with such 
 singular felicity, that we read them at the present day, when 
 the truths contained in them are known and admitted, with 
 all the delight of novelty, and feel carried back to the period 
 when the telescope was first directed to the heavens, and 
 when the earth's motion, with all its train of consequences, 
 was proved for the first time. The author of such a work 
 could not be forgiven. Galileo accordingly was twice 
 brought before the Inquisition. The first time a council of 
 seven cardinals pronounced a sentence which, for the sake 
 of those disposed to believe that power can subdue truth, 
 ought never to be forgotten : ".That to maintain the sun to 
 be immoveable and without local motion in the centre of the 
 world is an absurd proposition, false in philosophy, heretical 
 in religion, and contrary to the testimony of Scripture. 
 That it is equally absurd and false in philosophy to assert 
 that the earth is not immoveable in the centre of the world, 
 and, considered theologically, equally erroneous and heret- 
 ical." 
 
 Galileo was threatened with imprisonment unless he 
 would retract his opinions, and a promise was at length ex- 
 torted from him that he would not teach the doctrine of the 
 earth's motion either by speaking or writing. To this prom- 
 ise he did not conform. 
 
 In the year 16G3 Galileo, now seventy years old, was 
 again brought before the Inquisition, forced solemnly to dis- 
 avow his belief in the earth's motion, and condemned to per- 
 petual imprisonment, though the sentence was afterward 
 mitigated, and he was allowed to return to Florence. The 
 sentence appears to have pressed very heavily on Galileo's 
 mind, and he never afterward either talked or wrote on the 
 
LITERARY 59 
 
 subject of astronomy. Such was the triumph of his ene 
 mies, on whom ample vengeance would have long ago been 
 executed if the indignation and contempt of posterity could 
 reach the mansions of the dead. 
 
 Circulation of the Blood. — The circulation of the 
 blood was discovered in 1619, and is the most important 
 discovery that ever was made in the whole science of phys- 
 iology ; the influence which it necessarily exerted on the 
 doctrines of pathology caused a general revolution throughout 
 the whole circle of medical knowledge. To William Har- 
 vey, an English physician, the glory of this discovery has 
 been assigned by the almost unanimous concurrence of his 
 successors, although some have endeavoured to deprive him 
 of his well-earned fame by ascribing a knowledge of the cir- 
 culation to various preceding writers. 
 
 Mr. Dutens, in his " Recherches sur l'Origine des De 
 couvertes attributes aux Modernes," has brought forward 
 passages from Hippocrates, Plato, Aristotle, Julius Pollux, 
 Apuleius, and several others, to prove that they knew the 
 course of the blood ; and yet nothing more is necessary to 
 disprove his assertion than to examine the very passages 
 which he adduces in support of it. 
 
 Vigneul Marville, in his Melanges de Literature, says, 
 " It is said that the religious of St. Vannes have discovered in 
 St. Ambrose the doctrine of the circulation of the blood, 
 which has been thought to be a modern discovery by Har- 
 vey ;" and Voltaire assures us that Servetus made the dis- 
 covery long before Harvey, who is considered on the Conti- 
 nent not as the first who discovered the circulation of the 
 blood, but the first who demonstrated it. But Servetus only 
 knew the minor calculation ; he laid the foundation of the 
 building which had baffled all the efforts of the great ge- 
 niuses of antiquity. 
 
 The merits of Harvey, whose fame can never perish while 
 medical science continues to be cultivated, is enhanced by 
 considering the degraded state of medical knowledge at that 
 time in England. 
 
 Vasco de Gama. — The discovery of India, to which such 
 great advances had been made by Prince Henry of Portugal, 
 was, thirty-four years after his death, accomplished through 
 the heroic intrepidity of the illustrious Vasco de Gama. 
 
 The voyage of Gama has been called merely a coasting 
 one, and, therefore, much less dangerous and heroical than 
 
60 ANECDOTES. 
 
 that of Columbus and Magellan. But this, it is presumed, 
 is an opinion hastily taken up and founded on ignorance. 
 Columbus and Magellan undertook to navigate unknown 
 oceans, and so did Gama, who stood out to sea for upward 
 of three months of tempestuous weather, in order to double 
 the Cape of Good Hope, hitherto deemed impassable. The 
 tempests which afflicted Columbus and Magellan are de- 
 scribed by their historians as far less tremendous than those 
 which attacked Gama. The poet of the Seasons, in depict- 
 ing a tempest at sea, selects that encountered by Gama as 
 an example of all that is most terrific in this conflict of ele- 
 ments. 
 
 " With such mad seas the daring Gama fought 
 For many a day and many a dreadful night ; 
 Incessant labouring round the stormy Cape, 
 By bold ambition led." 
 
 From every circumstance, it is evident that Gama had de- 
 termined not to return unless he discovered India. Nothing 
 less than such a resolution, to perish or attain his point, 
 could have led him on. It was this resolution which in- 
 spired him, when, on the general mutiny of the crew, he put 
 the chief conspirators and all the pilots in irons, while he 
 himself, with his faithful brother Coello and a few others, 
 stood night and day to the helm until they doubled the Cape, 
 and beheld the road to India before them. It was this 
 which made him still persevere when he fell into the strong 
 current off Ethiopia, that drove him for a time he knew not 
 whither. How different the conduct of Columbus ! When, 
 steering southward in search of a continent, he met great 
 currents, which he imagined were the rising of the sea to- 
 wards the canopy of heaven, which, for aught he knew, 
 say the authors of the Universal History, he might touch to- 
 wards the south, he therefore turned his course and steered 
 to the west ; from which, after all, he returned without being 
 certain whether the land he discovered at the mouth of the 
 Oronoko was an island or a continent ! 
 
 Discovery of Glass. — " As some merchants," says Pliny, 
 " were carrying nitre, they stopped near a river which issues 
 from Mount Carmel. As they could not readily find stones 
 to rest their kettles on, they used for this purpose some of 
 these pieces of nitre. The fire, which gradually dissolved 
 the nitre and mixed it with the sand, occasioned a trans- 
 parent matter to flow, which, in fact, was nothing less than 
 glass." 
 
LITERARY. 61 
 
 In the reign of Tiberius, according to the same author, a 
 Roman artist had his house demolished, or, as Petronius 
 Arbiter and others affirm, lost his head for making malleable 
 glass. 
 
 The Philosopher's Stone. — The orientalists imagine 
 that, among other acquirements, the Europeans are in pos- 
 session of the philosopher's stone, and some among them- 
 selves are not wanting who pretend to this gift. When 
 Mr. Kinneir, who travelled through Asia Minor and the 
 neighbouring countries in eighteen hundred and thirteen and 
 eighteen hundred and fourteen, was at Bassora, Mr. Colqu- 
 houn, the acting resident at that place, received a message 
 from an Arabian philosopher, who supplicated his protection 
 from the cruel and continued persecution of his countrymen. 
 Having been informed that he had the power of transmuting 
 the basest metals into gold, they daily put him to the torture 
 to wring his secret from him. He added, that he would di- 
 vulge everything he knew to Mr. Colquhoun, provided he 
 was permitted to reside in the factory. He accordingly re- 
 tired, and soon afterward returned with a small crucible and 
 chafing-dish of coals ; and when the former had become 
 hot, he took four small papers, containing a whitish powder, 
 from his pocket, and asked Mr. Colquhoun to fetch in a piece 
 of lead ; the latter went into his study, and taking four pistol 
 bullets, weighed them, unknown to the alchymist ; these, 
 with the powder, he put into a crucible, and the whole was 
 immediately in a state of fusion. After the lapse of about 
 twenty minutes the Arabian desired Mr. Colquhoun to take 
 the crucible from the fire, and put it into the open air to 
 cool ; the contents were then removed, and the residuum 
 proved to be a piece of pure gold, of the same size as the 
 bullets. The gold was afterward valued at ninety piastres. 
 
 " It is not easy," says Mr. Kinneir, " to imagine how a 
 deception could have been accomplished, since the crucible 
 remained untouched by the Arab after it had been put upon 
 the fire*, while it is, at the same time, difficult to conceive 
 what inducement a poor Arab could have had to make an 
 English gentleman a present of ninety piastres. Mr. Col- 
 quhoun ordered him to return next day, which he promised 
 to do; but in the middle of the night the Sheik of Grane, 
 with a body of armed men, broke into his house and carried 
 him off." 
 
 Mr. Kinneir says, "Whether this unhappy man possessed, 
 like St. Leon, the art of making gold, we are not called on 
 
62 ANECDOTES. 
 
 to determine." Now, although we conceive the Arabian 
 philosopher just as capable of transmuting metals as the im- 
 maculate St. Leon, so aptly quoted by Mr. Kinneir, we still 
 are skeptical enough to suppose that there was abundance 
 of time to fuse a solid mass of gold during the absence of 
 Mr. Colquhoun, and afterward to waste the lead by the nat- 
 ural progress of oxydation, aided by a strong fire. 
 
 Pins. — Pins were brought from France in fifteen hundred 
 and forty-three, and were first used in England by Catharine 
 Howard, queen of Henry the Eighth. Before that invention 
 both sexes used ribands and laces, with points and tags, 
 hooks and eyes, and skewers of brass, silver, and gold. 
 
 In the year fifteen hundred and forty-three it was enacted 
 ''that no person shall put to sale any pinnes, but only such 
 as shall be double-headed, and have the heads soldered fast 
 to the shank of the pinnes, well smoothed, the shank well 
 shaped, the points well and round filed, counted and sharp- 
 ened." 
 
 The pin manufactory affords employment to a number of 
 children of both sexes, who are thus not only prevented from 
 acquiring habits of idleness and vice, but are, on the con- 
 trary, initiated in their early years in those of a beneficial 
 and virtuous industry. 
 
 THE FINE ARTS. 
 
 Myron. — Myron of Eleutherse, who appears from Pliny 
 to have executed many works of excellence, seems to have 
 been most commended for what he probably regarded as a 
 trifling performance. A brazen heifer which he made is 
 celebrated by no less than thirty-six epigrams in the Greek 
 Anthologia. The following is among the best : 
 
 On the Heifer of Brass of Myron. 
 ' Either this heifer has a brazen skin, 
 Or else the brass contains a soul within." 
 
 The Foot-racer of this artist was not less celebrated, as 
 appears from the following epigram : 
 
 Myron's Foot-racer. 
 " Such as, when flying with the whirlwind's haste, 
 In your foot's point your eager soul you placed, 
 Such, Ladas, as here by Myron's skill you breathe, 
 Ardent in all your frame for Pisa's wreath. 
 
LITERARY. 63 
 
 The fervid spirit from the heaving chest 
 Shines in the lips. Where is not hope express'd ? 
 The brass springs forward in the nimble strife. 
 Oh, art more vivid than the breath of life !" 
 
 Painting from Nature. — Eupompus, the painter, was 
 asked by Lysippus, the sculptor, whom among his predeces- 
 sors he should make objects of his imitation. " Behold," 
 said the painter, showing his friend a multitude of characters 
 passing by, "behold my models. From nature, not from 
 art, by whomsoever wrought, must the artist labour who 
 hopes to attain honour and extend the boundaries of his art." 
 
 Praxiteles. — Praxiteles, who flourised 264 years before 
 Christ, was the sculptor of some of the most famous statues 
 of antiquity. Among these were two Venuses, one clothed 
 and the other naked. The first was purchased by the Kho- 
 ans, who preferred it as the most decent. The Cnidians 
 took the rejected one, which was so exquisitely beautiful 
 that many persons took a voyage to Cnidus for the sole 
 purpose of seeing it. Nicomedes, king of Bithynia, was so 
 desirous of possessing it, that he offered to pay all the pub- 
 lic debts of Cnidus, which were large, as the price ; but the 
 citizens refused to part with it on any terms, regarding it as 
 the principal glory of the state. Praxiteles having promised 
 the choice of his works to Phryne, a lady to whom he was 
 attached, she, in order to discover which he most valued, 
 ran to him one day with the false intelligence that his house 
 was on fire. "I am undone," he cried, "unless I save my 
 Satyr and my Cupid." The lady, having thus obtained an 
 indisputable criterion, chose the Cupid as the most valuable 
 of all his performances. 
 
 Lost Art. — If we may credit a very singular story told 
 in the Jesuit's Letters, the Chinese have now lost a very 
 curious secret. They knew formerly how to paint their 
 porcelain with fishes and other animals in such a manner 
 that these figures never appeared to the eye till the porcelain 
 vases were filled with liquor. 
 
 Monochromatic Painting. — A very delicate experi- 
 ment, yet a very natural one, which Buffon appears to have 
 first noticed, led, in all probability, to the invention of the 
 monochromatic mode of painting, or painting with a single 
 colour. If, at the moment which precedes sunset at the close 
 of a cloudless day, a body is placed near a wall, or against 
 
64 ANECDOTES. 
 
 another polished body, or on a smooth chalky soil, the shadow 
 caused by this body is blue, instead of being black or colour- 
 less. This effect is produced by the light of the sun being 
 so weakened that the blue rays, which are reflected from the 
 sky, which has always this colour on a clear day, fall, and 
 are again driven back or reflected on that part of the wall 
 which the dying light of the sun cannot strike ; for, even at 
 its last moment, the light which falls straight and direct is 
 sufficiently strong to destroy that of the heavens, which is 
 only reflected wherever they meet. 
 
 Mosaic Painting. — Mosaic, as Wotton describes it in 
 his work on architecture, is a kind of painting in small peb- 
 bles, cockles, or shells of sundry colours ; and in recent 
 times likewise with pieces of glass figured at pleasure. It 
 is used chiefly for pavements and floorings. 
 
 The term Mosaic is derived from the Latin Musivum ; 
 and a noble lord ought not to have been laughed at in the 
 House of Peers when he pronounced the word, as it ought 
 to be pronounced, Musaic. It is odd enough that many 
 persons have really conceived it to originate from the name 
 of the great Jewish legislator ! 
 
 Pliny shows that the Greeks were the first who practised 
 this art, and notices a curious work of the kind, which was 
 called " an unswept piece." This singular performance ex- 
 hibited to the eye crumbs of bread, and such other things as 
 fall from a table, which were so naturally imitated that ob- 
 servers were completely deceived into the belief that " an 
 unswept" pavement lay before them. It was formed of 
 small shells painted with different colours. 
 
 Mosaic has been practised in Italy for these two thousand 
 years. The manner of working it is by copying with mor- 
 sels of marble of different colours, everything which a pic- 
 ture can imitate. Instead of common stones, difficult to be 
 collected for works of magnitude, and requiring much time 
 to prepare and polish, the mosaic artists have sometimes re- 
 course to a paste composed of glass and enamel, which, after 
 passing through a crucible, takes a brilliant colour. All the 
 pieces are inlaid, and very thin, and their length is propor- 
 tioned to their slcnderness. They sometimes inlay a piece 
 not thicker than a hair. They are easily fixed in a stucco 
 or plaster of Paris placed to receive them, and soon dry and 
 harden. Such works are so solid that they are capable of 
 resisting the assaults of time through many ages. The mo- 
 saic of St. Mark at Venice has existed above nine hundred 
 years in perfect splendour and beauty. 
 
literary. 65 
 
 The church of St. Dominico, at Siena, has to boast of a 
 peculiarly elegant mosaic pavement. Duccio, of Siena, in 
 1350, began that part of it which is beneath the altar of St. 
 Ausano. In 1424 the pavement under the three steps of the 
 high altar, representing David, Samson, Moses, Judas Mac- 
 cabeus, and Joshua, was completed ; and forty years after- 
 ward Maiteo de Siena proceeded to embellish the part under 
 the altar of the crucifix with the history of the martyrdom of 
 the Innocents. The twelve Sybils were added in 1483; 
 and in 1500 Dominico Beccafumi, alias Mecarino, comple- 
 ted this magnificent pavement by executing the middle pari 
 next the pulpit. 
 
 Wood Engraving. — The first engraving on wood of 
 which there is any record in Europe is that of " the Actions 
 of Alexander," by the two Cunios, executed in the year 1285 
 or 1286. The engravings are eight in number, and in size 
 about nine inches by six. In a frontispiece, decorated with 
 fanciful ornaments, there is an inscription which states the 
 engravings to have been by " Alesandro Alberico Cunie 
 Cavaliere and Isabella Cunio, twin brother and sister ; first 
 reduced, imagined, and attempted to be executed in relief, 
 with a small knife, on blocks of wood made even and pol- 
 ished by this learned and dear sister ; continued and finished 
 by us together at Ravenna, from the eight pictures of our 
 invention, painted six times larger than here represented ; 
 engraved, explained by verses, and thus marked upon the 
 paper, to perpetuate the number of them, and to enable us 
 to present them to our relations and friends in testimony of 
 gratitude, friendship, and affection. All this was done and 
 finished by us when only sixteen years of age." This ac- 
 count, which was given by Papillon, who saw the engravings, 
 has been much disputed ; but Mr. Ottley, in his late valuable 
 work, deems it authentic. 
 
 Copperplate Engraving. — The invention of copper- 
 plate engraving is believed to have been derived from Maso 
 Finiguerra, a Florentine, who lived between the years 1400 
 and 1460. It is said that he impressed with earth all the 
 things which he engraved in silver, for the purpose of filling 
 them with niello, a metallic substance reduced to powder, 
 composed of silver, copper, lead, sulphur, and borax. And 
 having poured over the earthen impressions liquid sulphur, 
 they became printed and filled with smoke. " Whence," 
 says Vasari, " being rubbed with oil, thev showed the same 
 
 I 
 
66 ANECDOTES. 
 
 as the silver ; and this he also did with damped paper, and 
 with the same tint, pressing over it with a round roller, 
 smooth in every part, which not only made them appear 
 printed, but as if drawn with a pen." 
 
 Blunders. — Tintoret, in a picture which represents the 
 Israelites gathering manna in the desert, has armed the He- 
 brews with guns ; and a modern Neapolitan artist has rep- 
 resented the holy family, during their journey to Egypt, as 
 passing the Nile in a barge as richly ornamented as that of 
 Cleopatra. 
 
 Brengheli, a Dutch painter, in a picture of the Eastern 
 magi, has, according to the grotesque fashion of his country, 
 drawn the Indian king in a large white surplice, with boots 
 and spurs, and bearing in his hand, as a present to the holy 
 child, the model of a Dutch seventy-four. 
 
 Lanfranc has thrown churchmen in their robes at the feet 
 of our Saviour when an infant ; and Algarotti relates that 
 Paul Veronese introduced several Benedictines among the 
 guests at the feast of Cana. 
 
 An altar-piece in a church at Capua, painted by Chella 
 delle Puera, representing the Annunciation, is a curious col- 
 lection of absurdities. The Virgin is seated in a rich arm- 
 chair of crimson velvet, with gold flowers ; a cat and parrot 
 placed near her, seem extremely attentive to the whole 
 scene ; and on a table are a silver coffee-pot and cup. 
 
 A modern Italian has painted the same subject in a way 
 equally absurd. The Virgin is on her knees near the toilet ; 
 on a chair are thrown a variety of fashionable dresses, which 
 show that, in the painter's opinion, at least, she must have 
 been a practised coquette ; and at a little distance appears a 
 cat, with its head lifted up towards the angel, and its ears on 
 end to catch what he has got to say. 
 
 Paulo Mazzochi painted a piece representing the four el- 
 ements, in which fishes marked the sea, moles the earth, and 
 a salamander the fire. He wished to represent the air by 
 a chameleon ; but, not knowing how to draw that scarce an- 
 imal, he contented himself, from a similarity of sounds, to 
 introduce a camel, who, extending his long neck, snuffs up 
 the breezes around him. 
 
 Trial of Conjucal Affection. — Craasbeck, a Flem- 
 ish painter, entertaining some doubts as to the affection of 
 his wife, who was a modest and agreeable woman, and being 
 anxious to ascertain if she really loved him, one day stripped 
 
LITERARY. 67 
 
 his breast naked, and painted the appearance of a mortal 
 wound on his skin ; his lips and cheeks he painted of a livid 
 colour, and on his palette near him he placed his knife, 
 painted on the blade with a bloodlike colour. When every- 
 thing was prepared, he shrieked out, as if he had been at 
 that instant killed, and lay still. His wife ran in, saw him 
 in that terrifying condition, and showed so many tokens ol 
 unaffected natural passion and real grief, that he rose up 
 convinced of her affection, dissuaded her from grieving, and 
 freely told her his motive for the whole contrivance, which 
 he would not have violated truth by describing as a very 
 despicable trick. 
 
 Education. — In the education of young persons, much is 
 to be considered in respect to their teachers. As such ought 
 to be possessed of ability, so they ought to be encouraged. 
 " Pity it is," says the great Mr. Ascham, " that commonly 
 more care is had, yea, and that among very wise men, to 
 find out rather a cunning man for their horse than a cunning 
 man for their children. They say nay in one word, but they 
 do so in deed; for to one they will gladly give a stipend of 
 two hundred crowns by the year, and are loath to offer to the 
 other two hundred shillings. God, that sitteth in heaven, 
 laugheth their choice to scorn, and rewardeth their liberality 
 as it should. For he suffereth them to have tame and well- 
 ordered horses, but wild and unfortunate children ; and, there- 
 fore, in the end, they find more pleasure in their horse than 
 comfort in their child." 
 
 We should be careful what books we put into the hands 
 of children. All publications tending to infidelity, looseness 
 of character, vice, &c, ought to be proscribed. If the Athe- 
 nian laws were so delicate that they disgraced any one who 
 showed an inquiring traveller the wrong road, what disgrace, 
 among Christians, should attach to that tutor, parent, or au- 
 thor who, when a youth is inquiring the road to genuine 
 and useful knowledge, directs him to blasphemy and unbelief? 
 
 Education is a companion which no misfortune can de- 
 press, no clime destroy, no enemy alienate, no despotism 
 enslave. At home a friend, abroad an introduction, in soli- 
 tude a solace, in society an ornament. It shortens vice, it 
 guides virtue, it gives at once grace and government to the 
 genius. Without it, what is man ? a splendid slave ! a 
 reasoning savage ! vacillating between the dignity of an in- 
 telligence derived from God and the degradation of brutal 
 passion. — Phillips. 
 
68 ANECDOTES. 
 
 An apt Version. — The late Dr. Adam, rector of the 
 Grammar-school, Edinburgh, was supposed by his scholars 
 to exercise a strong partiality for such as were of patrician 
 descent ; and on one occasion was very smartly reminded 
 of it by a boy of mean parentage, whom he was reprehending 
 rather severely for his ignorance ; much more so than the 
 boy thought he would have done had he been the son of a 
 right honourable, or even of a plain Baillie Jarvie. " You 
 dunce !" exclaimed the rector, " I don't think you can even 
 translate the motto of your own native place, of the gude 
 town of Edinburgh. What, sir, does ' Nisi Dominus frus- 
 trc£ mean ?" " It means, sir," rejoined the boy, smartly, 
 " that, unless we are lords' sons, we need not come here." 
 
 Taciturnity. — " He who knows not how to be silent 
 knows not how to speak," said Pittacus ; " and he that hath 
 knowledge spareth his words," said Solomon ; that is, " He 
 will be few of his words, as being afraid of speaking amiss." 
 
 A babbler, being at table with a number of persons, 
 among whom was one of the seven sages of Greece, ex- 
 pressed his astonishment that a man so wise did not utter a 
 single word. The sage instantly replied, " A fool cannot 
 hold his tongue" " Take away from the conversations of 
 the generality of persons, in most companies, their slanders 
 against the absent, their shallow criticisms, their ignorant 
 political opinions, and their barren witticisms against religion, 
 and you will find that, on a just calculation, those who speak 
 the most do not say more than those who keep a profound 
 silence. It is for this reason that a man of sense always 
 prefers passing even for stupid by his taciturnity, to the in- 
 famous talent of shining at the expense of religion, of the 
 laws, of men of genius, and of his neighbours, to divert those 
 who are falsely named great wits, or rejoice the hearts of 
 men who want judgment, justice, and humanity." 
 
 Diffidence. — While we behold some possessed but of 
 little knowledge and a mediocrity of talent put on all the 
 consequence of learning and all the boldness of authority, 
 we are sometimes, on the other hand, spectators of men of 
 uncommon worth, fine genius, and extensive abilities, labour- 
 ing under the fetters of diffidence and fear. It is, however, 
 an unhappy circumstance for such, as it must be injurious 
 to themselves, while it precludes, in some respect, their use- 
 fulness to others. 
 
 It is said of the learned Junius that he had such an invin- 
 
LITERARY 
 
 cible modesty, that throughout his life he appeared to com- 
 mon observers under peculiar disadvantages, and could 
 scarcely speak upon the most common subjects without a 
 suffusion in his countenance. In this respect he seems to 
 have equalled our famous Mr. Addison, who likewise was 
 at once one of the greatest philosophers as well as one of 
 the most abashed and modest men of his time. 
 
 Such was the diffidence of that good man Dr. Conyers, 
 that if he saw a stranger in his congregation, especially if 
 he suspected him to be a minister, it would so disconcert 
 him as to render him almost incapable of speaking. On 
 these occasions he would sometimes say to Mr. Thornton, 
 " If you expect any blessing under my ministry, I beg you 
 will not bring so many black coats with you." 
 
 Men of Genius deficient in Conversation. — The stu- 
 dent who may, perhaps, shine a luminary of learning and of 
 genius in the pages of his volume, is found not rarely to lie 
 obscured beneath a heavy cloud in colloquial discourse. 
 
 If you love the man of letters, seek him in the privacies of 
 his study. It is in the hour of confidence and tranquillity 
 his genius shall elicit a ray of intelligence more fervid than 
 the labours of polished composition. 
 
 The great Peter Corneille, whose genius resembled that 
 of our Shakspeare, and who has so forcibly expressed the 
 sublime sentiments of the hero, had nothing in his exterior 
 that indicated his genius ; on the contrary, his conversation 
 was so insipid that it never failed of wearying. Nature, 
 who had lavished on him the gifts of genius, had forgotten 
 to blend with them her more ordinary ones. He did not 
 even speak correctly that language of which he was such a 
 master. 
 
 When his friends represented to him how much more he 
 might please by not disdaining to correct these trivial errors, 
 he would smile and say, " i" am not the less Peter Corneille /'' 
 Descartes, whose habits were formed in solitude and medi- 
 tation, was silent in mixed company ; and Thomas described 
 his mind by saying that he had received his intellectual 
 wealth from nature in solid bars, but not in current coin ; or 
 as Addison expressed the same idea, by comparing himself 
 to a banker who possessed the wealth of his friends at home, 
 though he carried none of it in his pocket ; or as that judicious 
 moralist Nicolle, one of the Port-Royal Society, who said of 
 a scintillant wit, " He conquers me in the drawing-room, but 
 he surrenders to me at discretion on the staircase." Such 
 
70 ANECDOTES. 
 
 may say with Themistocles when asked to play on a lute, 
 " I cannot fiddle, but I can make a little village a great city." 
 
 The deficiencies of Addison in conversation are well 
 known. He preserved a rigid silence among strangers ; but, 
 if he was silent, it was the silence of meditation. How often 
 at that moment he laboured at some future Spectator! 
 
 Mediocrity can talk, but it is for genius to observe. 
 
 The cynical Mandeville compared Addison, after having 
 passed an evening in his company, to " a silent parson in a 
 tie-wig." It is no shame for an Addison to receive the cen- 
 sures of a Mandeville ; he has only to blush when he calls 
 down those of a Pope. 
 
 Virgil was heavy in conversation, and resembled more an 
 ordinary man than an enchanting poet. 
 
 La Fontaine, says La Bruyere, appeared coarse, heavy, 
 and stupid ; he could not speak or describe what he had 
 just seen ; but when he wrote he was the model of poetry. 
 
 It was very easy, said a humorous observer on La Fon- 
 taine, to be a man of wit or a fool ; but to be both, and that, 
 too, in the extreme degree, is indeed admirable, and only to 
 be found in him. This observation applies to that fine nat- 
 ural genius Goldsmith. Chaucer was more facetious in his 
 tales than in his conversation, and the Countess of Pem- 
 broke used to rally him by saying that his silence was more 
 agreeable to her than his conversation. 
 
 Isocrates, celebrated for his beautiful oratorical composi- 
 tions, was of so timid a disposition that he never ventured 
 to speak in public. He compared himself to the whetstone 
 which will not cut, but enables other things to do this ; for 
 his productions served as models to other orators. Vaucan- 
 son was said to be as much a machine as any he had made. 
 Dryden said of himself, " My conversation is slow and 
 dull, my humour saturnine and reserved. In short, I am 
 none of those who endeavour to break jests in company or 
 make repartees." 
 
 Loquacity. — " In the multitude of words there wanteth 
 not sin." He who talks much not only often renders him- 
 self unpleasant to the company, but is in danger of offending 
 God. There is a happy medium, which should be attended 
 to ; neither to seal up the lips in monkish stupidity, nor, on 
 the other hand, to be guilty of impertinent and trifling lo- 
 quacity. 
 
 Zeno, being present where a person of a loquacious dis- 
 position played himself off, said, with an air of concern in 
 
LITERARY. 71 
 
 his countenance, " I perceive that poor gentleman is ill. He 
 has a violent flux upon him." The company was alarmed, 
 and the speaker stopped in his career. " Yes," added the 
 philosopher, " the flux is so violent that it has carried his ears 
 into his tongue." 
 
 The Rev. Mr. Berridge being once visited by a very lo- 
 quacious young lady, who, forgetting the modesty of her sex 
 and the superior gravity of an aged divine, engrossed all 
 the conversation of the interview with small talk concerning 
 herself, when she rose to retire, he said, " Madam, before you 
 withdraw I have one piece of advice to give you ; and that 
 is, when you go into company again, after you have talked 
 half an hour without intermission, I recommend it to you to 
 stop a while, and see if any other of the company has any- 
 thing to say." 
 
 In conversation, great care should be taken to introduce 
 subjects with discretion and propriety. A person once ha- 
 rangued on the strength of Samson. " I affirm," said he, 
 " that this same Samson was the strongest man that ever did 
 or ever will live in the world." " 1 deny it," replied one of 
 the company ; " you yourself are stronger than he." " How 
 do you make out that ?" " Because you just now lugged 
 him in by head and shoulders." 
 
 Though the above-mentioned reproof were suitable, yet it 
 is not to be understood that the gift of conversation is to be 
 lightly appreciated, but only to be used with judgment. 
 They who cannot talk at all are, perhaps, as miserable to 
 themselves as they who talk much are disagreeable to 
 others. 
 
 A gentleman who acquired a very considerable fortune in 
 trade was absolutely wretched because he could not talk in 
 company. "lama most unhappy man," said he. "I am 
 invited to conversations ; I go to conversations ; but, alas ! I 
 have no conversation." From this instance we may learn 
 how much more conducive to our happiness it is to store 
 our minds with intellectual wealth, than to be heaping up 
 riches in expectation that money will supply the place of 
 everything else. 
 
 - Much is to be gained by judicious conversation. Menage 
 once "heard Varilles say, that of ten things which he knew, 
 he had learned nine from conversation. "The tongue of 
 the wise,!' says Solomon, " useth knowledge aright." And 
 again, " The tongue of the just is as choice silver." 
 
72 ANECDOTES. 
 
 A number of intimate friends being at dinner together on 
 the Lord's day, one of the company, in order to prevent im- 
 pertinent discourse, said, " It is a question whether we shall 
 all go to heaven or not ?" This plain hint occasioned a gen- 
 eral seriousness and self-examination. One thought, if any 
 of this company go to hell, it must be myself; and so thought 
 another ; even the servants who waited at table were affect- 
 ed in the same manner ; in short, it was afterward found 
 that this one sentence proved, by the special blessing of God 
 upon it, instrumental to their conversion. 
 
 Knight of Florence. — A knight of Florence, whose 
 love of talking was a common theme of lamentation among 
 his friends, met one evening at supper a party of brother 
 patricians. As soon as supper was over he began telling a 
 story, and seemed as if he would never have done with it. 
 " I'll tell you what," said one of the party, interrupting 
 him, " who ever told you this story, Sir Knight, did not tell 
 you the whole of it." " How could that be ?" asked the 
 knight; " I know every word of it." " No, no," rejoined the 
 speaker, " he did not tell you, I am sure, the end of it." The 
 company laughed, and the story-teller, confounded with the 
 rebuke, made an abrupt termination of his discourse. 
 
 The Abbe Raynal and the Abbe Galignani, who were 
 both incessant talkers, were invited to the house of a mutual 
 friend, who wished to amuse himself by bringing them to- 
 gether. Galignani, who began the conversation, engrossed 
 it so thoroughly, and talked with such volubility, that Raynal 
 could not find the least opening to introduce a word ; but, 
 turning to his friend, said, in a low voice, SHI crache, il est 
 'perdu. 
 
 STUDIES. 
 
 Instances of Intense Study, &c. — Sir Isaac Newton, 
 it is said, when he had any mathematical problems or solu- 
 tions in his mind, would never leave the subject on any ac- 
 count. Dinner has been often three hours ready for him 
 before he could be brought to table. His man often said 
 of him, that, when he has been getting up of a morning, he 
 has sometimes begun to dress, and, with one leg in his 
 breeches, sat down again on the bed, where he has remained 
 for hours before he has got his clothes on. 
 
LITERARY 73 
 
 Frederic Morel had so strong an attachment to study that, 
 when he was informed of his wife's being at the point of 
 death, he would not lay down his pen till he had finished 
 what he was upon ; and when she was dead, as she was 
 before they could prevail upon him to stir, he was only heard 
 to reply coldly, " I am very sorry ; she xuas a good woman." 
 
 Adrian Turnebus, an illustrious French critic, was inde- 
 fatigable in his application to study, insomuch that it was 
 said of him, as it was of Budseus, that he spent some hours 
 in study even on the day he was married. 
 
 Euclid was asked one day by King Ptolemseus Lagus 
 " whether there was not a shorter and easier way to the 
 knowledge of geometry than that which he had laid down in 
 his Elements." He answered that " there was indeed no 
 royal road to geometry." In the same manner, when Alex- 
 ander wanted to learn geometry by some easier and shorter 
 method, he was told by his preceptor that "he must here 
 be content to travel the same road with others ; for that all 
 things of this nature were equally difficult to prince and 
 people." We may apply this observation to learning in 
 general. If we wish to enjoy the sweets, we must encounter 
 the difficulties of acquisition. The student must not be al- 
 ways in the world or living at his ease if he wish to enlarge 
 his mind, inform his judgment, or improve his powers ; he 
 must read, think, remember, compare, consult, and digest, 
 in order to be wise and useful. 
 
 Variety of studies, so far from weakening the mind, is a 
 powerful means of promoting its energy and growth. We 
 seldom meet with persons of vigorous understanding whose 
 range of thought has been confined chiefly to one department. 
 
 Three Mistakes. — " There are three capital mistakes," 
 says one, " in regard to books. Some, through their own 
 indolence, and others from a sincere belief of the vanity of 
 human science, read no book but the Bible. But these good 
 men do not consider that, for the same reasons, they ought 
 not to preach sermons ; for sermons are libri, ore, vivaque 
 voce, pronunciati : the Holy Scriptures are illustrated by 
 other writings. Others collect great quantities of books for 
 show, and not for service. This is a vast parade, even un- 
 worthy of reproof. Others purchase large libraries with a 
 sincere design of reading all the books. But a very large 
 
 K 4 
 
74 ANECDOTES. 
 
 library is learned luocury, not elegance, much less utility. n 
 Much reading is no proof of much learning; fast readers 
 are often desultory ones. 
 
 The Progress of Old Age in New Studies. — Of the 
 pleasures derivable from the cultivation of the arts, sciences, 
 and literature, time will not abate the growing passion ; for 
 old men still cherish an affection and feel a youthful enthu- 
 siasm in those pursuits when all others have ceased to inter- 
 est. Dr. Reid, to his last day, retained a most active curi- 
 osity in his various studies, and particularly in the revolu- 
 tions of modern chymistry. In advanced life we may resume 
 our former studies with a new pleasure, and in old age we 
 may enjoy them with the same relish with which more youth- 
 ful students commence. . ■■,, : 
 
 Professor Dugald Stewart tells us that Adam Sniith ob- 
 served to him, that " of all the amusements of old age, the 
 most grateful and soothing is a renewal of acquaintance with 
 the favourite studies and favourite authors of youth ; a re- 
 mark which, in his own case, seemed to be more particularly 
 exemplified while he was reperusing, with the enthusiasm 
 of a student, the tragic poets of ancient Greece. I heard 
 him repeat the observation more than once while Sophocles 
 and Euripides lay open on his table." 
 
 Cato, at eighty years of age, thought proper to learn 
 Greek ; and Plutarch, almost as late in life, Latin. 
 
 Henry Spelman, having neglected the sciences in his 
 youth, cultivated them at fifty years, and became a proficient. 
 
 Fairfax, after having been general of the parliamentary 
 forces, retired to Oxford to take his degrees in law. 
 
 Colbert, the famous French minister, almost at sixty re- 
 turned to his Latin and law studies. 
 
 Tellier, the chancellor of France, learned logic merely for 
 an amusement, to dispute with his grandchildren. 
 
 Though the above instances are somewhat singular, yet 
 young persons should beware of procrastination, and not lose 
 the present moment in expectation of improving the future. 
 Very few are capable of making any proficiency under the 
 decrepitude of old age, and when they have been long ac- 
 customed to negligent habits. Great defects and indigested 
 erudition have often characterized the oxpLfiadeLq, or "late 
 learned." 
 
 Reading. — There are some books which require pecu- 
 liar attention in reading in order to understand them. A 
 
LITERARY. 75 
 
 spruce macaroni was boasting one day that he had the most 
 happy genius in the world. " Everything," said he, " is easy 
 to me ! People call Euclid's Elements a hard book ; but I 
 read it yesterday from beginning to end, in a piece of the af- 
 ternoon between dinner and teatime." " Read all Euclid," 
 answered a gentleman present, " in one afternoon ! How 
 was that possible ?" " Upon my honour I did, and never 
 read smoother reading in my life." " Did you master all 
 the demonstrations and solve all the problems as you went ?" 
 " Demonstrations and problems ! I suppose you mean the 
 a's, and b's, and c's ; and l's, and 2's, and 3's ; and the pic- 
 tures of scratches and scrawls ? No, no ; I skipped all them. 
 I only read Euclid himself; and all Euclid I did read, and 
 in one piece of the afternoon too." Alas ! how many such 
 readers are there ? Such are likely to get as much knowl- 
 edge of the subject they read as this young man did of ge- 
 ometry. 
 
 Dr. Watts. — As you proceed both in learning and in 
 life, make a wise observation what are the ideas, what the 
 discourses, and the parts of knowledge that have been more 
 or less useful to yourself or others. In our younger years, 
 while we are furnishing our minds with a treasure of ideas, 
 our experience is but small, and our judgment weak ; it is 
 therefore impossible at that age to determine aright con- 
 cerning the real advantage and usefulness of many things 
 we learn. But, when age and experience have matured 
 your judgment, then you will gradually drop the more use- 
 less part of your younger furniture, and be more solicitous 
 to retain that which is most necessary for your welfare in 
 this life or a better. Hereby you will come to make the 
 same complaint that almost every learned man has dene 
 after long experience in study and in the affairs of human 
 life and religion : Alas ! how many hours, and days, and 
 months have I lost in pursuing some parts of learning, and 
 in reading some authors, which have turned to no other ac- 
 count but to inform me that they were not worth my labour 
 and pursuit ! Happy the man who has a wise tutor to con- 
 duct him through all the sciences in the first years of his 
 study, and who has a prudent friend always at hand to point 
 out to him, from experience, how much of every science is 
 worth his pursuit ! And happy the student that is so wise 
 as to follow such advice ! 
 
 Por-E.— Pope says, "That from fourteen to twenty' he 
 
76 ANECDOTES. 
 
 read only for amusement ; from twenty to twenty-seven, for 
 improvement and instruction ; that, in the first part of this 
 time, he desired only to know ; and, in the second, he en- 
 deavoured to judge." 
 
 Pleasures of Study. — The pleasures of study are classed 
 by Burton among those exercises or recreations of the mind 
 which pass within doors. " Looking about this world of 
 books," he exclaims, " I could even live and die with such 
 meditations, and take more delight and true content of mind in 
 them than in all thy wealth and sport ! There is a sweetness 
 which, as Circe's cup, bewitcheth a student ; he cannot leave 
 off, as well may witness those many laborious hours, days, 
 and nights spent in their voluminous treatises. So sweet 
 is the delight of study. The last day is prioris discipulus." 
 " Heinsius was mewed up in the library of Leyden all the 
 year long, and that which to my thinking should have bred 
 a loathing, caused in him a greater liking. ' I no sooner,' 
 saith he, ' come into the library, but I bolt the door to me, 
 excluding Lust, Ambition, Avarice, and all such vices whose 
 nurse is Idleness, the mother to Ignorance and Melancholy. 
 In the very lap of eternity, among so many divine souls, I 
 take my seat with so lofty a spirit and sweet content, that I 
 pity all our great ones and rich men that know not this 
 happiness.' " Such is the incense of a votary who scatters 
 it on the altar less for the ceremony than from the devotion. 
 
 There is, however, an intemperance in study incompati- 
 ble often with our social or more active duties. The illus- 
 trious Grotius exposed himself to the reproaches of some of 
 his contemporaries for having too warmly pursued his studies, 
 to the detriment of his public station. It was the boast of 
 Cicero that his philosophical studies had never interfered 
 with the services he owed the republic, and that he had only 
 dedicated to them the hours which others gave to their walks, 
 their repasts, and their pleasures. Looking on his volumi 
 nous labours, we are surprised at this observation ; how hon 
 ourable is it to him that his various philosophical works bear 
 the titles of the different villas he possessed, which shows that 
 they were composed in their respective retirements. Cicero 
 must have been an early riser, and practised that magic art 
 of employing his time as to have multiplied his days. 
 
 Classical Studies. — Cowper, the poet, in allusion to his 
 classical studies, says, " But all this time was spent in 
 painting a piece of wood that had no life in it. At last I 
 
LITERARY. 77 
 
 began to think indeed ; I found myself in possession of many 
 bawbles, but not one grain of solidity in all my treasures. 
 At that time I valued a man according to his proficiency and 
 taste in classical literature, and had the meanest opinion of 
 all other accomplishments unaccompanied with that. But 
 I lived to see the vanity of what I had made my pride ; and 
 in a few years found there were other attainments which 
 would carry a man more handsomely through life than a 
 mere knowledge of what Homer and Virgil had left behind 
 them." 
 
 Mirabeau. — This celebrated orator of the National Con- 
 vention was directed by his preceptor, at an early period 
 of his life, to read " Locke on the Human Understanding." 
 He was so delighted with the profound reading of the Eng- 
 lish philosopher, that, meeting his preceptor many years 
 after in the gardens of the Tuileries, he said, with sparkling 
 eyes and animated countenance, " Ah, sir, I shall never forget 
 your having made me read Locke." 
 
 Reading the Bible. — In the reign of Henry V. a law 
 was passed against the perusal of the Scriptures in England. 
 It is enacted, " That whatsoever they were that should read 
 the Scriptures in the mother tongue, they should forfeit land, 
 catel, lif, and godes from theyre heyres for ever ; and so be 
 condemned for heretyks to God, enemies to the crowne, and 
 most errant traitors to the lande." On contrasting the above 
 statute with the indefatigable exertions that are now making 
 to print and circulate the Bible, what a happy revolution in 
 public sentiment appears to have taken place ! 
 
 Bible. — There is no book in the world so admirably 
 adapted to the capacities of all men as the Bible. It is so 
 sublime in its language, so noble in its doctrine, yet plain in 
 its precepts, and excellent in its end, that the man must be 
 ignorant and depraved indeed who lives without reading it. 
 
 Queen Elizabeth!' — " I walk," says she, " many times 
 in the pleasant fields of the Holy Scriptures, where I pluck 
 up the goodlisome herbs of sentences by pruning, eat them 
 by reading, digest them by musing, and lay them up at length 
 in the high seat of memory by gathering them together; so 
 that, having tasted their sweetness, I may less perceive the 
 bitterness of life." 
 
78 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Collins. — Collins, the poet, it is said, travelled with no 
 other book than an English Testament, such as children 
 carry to school. When a friend took it into his hand, out of 
 curiosity, to see what companion a man of letters had chosen, 
 " I have but one book," said Collins, '.' but that is the best." 
 Happy would it be for poets if they were all of the same 
 mind. 
 
 The learned Salmasius said, when on his deathbed, " Oh ! 
 I have lost a world of time ! If one year more were to be 
 added to my life, it should be spent in reading David's 
 Psalms and Paul's Epistles." 
 
 LIBRARIES. 
 
 Of libraries, the following anecdotes seem most inter- 
 esting, as they mark either the affection or the veneration 
 which civilized men have felt for these perennial reposi- 
 tories of their minds. The first national library founded in 
 Egypt seemed to have been placed under the protection 
 of the divinities, for their statues magnificently adorned this 
 temple, dedicated at once to religion and to literature. It 
 was still farther embellished by a well-known inscription, for 
 ever grateful to the votary of literature ; on the front was en- 
 graven, " The nourishment of the soul ;" or, according to 
 Diodorus, "The medicine of the mind." 
 
 To pass much of our time amid such vast resources, that 
 man must indeed be not more animated than a leaden Mer- 
 cury who does not aspire to make some small addition to 
 his library, were it only by a critical catalogue ! He must 
 be as indolent as that animal called the sloth, who perishes 
 on the tree he climbs after he has eaten all its leaves. 
 
 Nicholas Niccoli. — The first public library in Italy, 
 says Tiraboschi, was founded by a person of no considera- 
 ble fortune : his credit, his frugality, and fortitude were in- 
 deed equal to a treasury. This extraordinary man was 
 Xicholas Niccoli, the son of a merchant, and in his youth 
 himself a merchant; but after the death of his father he re- 
 linquished the beaten roads of gain, and devoted his soul to 
 study, and his fortune to assist students. At his death he 
 left his library to the public, but his debts being greater than 
 his effects, the princely generosity of Cosmo de Medici re- 
 alized the intention of its former possessor, and afterward 
 
LITERARY. 79 
 
 enriched it by the addition of an apartment, in which he 
 placed the Greek, Hebrew, Chaldaic, and Indian MSS. 
 
 Cicero. — To adorn his villa at Tusculum formed the day 
 dreams of this man of genius ; and his passion broke out in 
 all the enthusiasm and impatience which so frequently char- 
 acterize the modern collector. Not only Atticus, on whose 
 fine taste he could depend, but every one likely to increase 
 his acquisitions, was Cicero persecuting with entreaties on 
 entreaties, with the seduction of large prices, and with the 
 expectation that, if the orator and consul would submit to 
 accept any bribe, it would hardly be refused in the shape of 
 a manuscript or a statue. " In the name of our friendship," 
 says Cicero, addressing Atticus, " suffer nothing to escape 
 you of whatever you find curious or rare." When Atticus 
 informed him that he should send him a fine statue, in which 
 the heads of Mercury and Minerva were united together, 
 Cicero, with the enthusiasm of a maniacal lover of the 
 present day, finds every object which is uncommon the very 
 thing for which he has a proper place. " Your discovery is 
 admirable, and the statue you mention seems to have been 
 made purposely for my cabinet." Then follows an explana- 
 tion of the mystery of this allegorical statue, which ex- 
 pressed the happy union* of exercise and study. " Con- 
 tinue," he adds, " to collect for me, as you have promised, 
 in as great a quantity as possible, morsels of this kind." 
 Cicero, like other collectors, may be suspected not to have 
 been very difficult in his choice, and for him the curious was 
 not less valued than the beautiful. The mind and temper 
 of Cicero were of a robust and philosophical cast, not too 
 subject to the tortures of those whose morbid imagination 
 and delicacy of taste touch on infirmity. It is, however, 
 amusing to observe this great man, actuated by all the fer- 
 vour and joy of collecting. " I have paid your agent, as 
 you ordered, for the Megaric statues ; send me as many of 
 them as you can, and as soon as possible, with any others 
 which you think proper for the place, and to my taste, and 
 good enough to please yours. You cannot imagine how 
 greatly my passion increases for this sort of things ; it is 
 such that it may appear ridiculous in the eyes of many ; 
 but you are my friend, and will only think of satisfying my 
 wishes." Again : " Purchase for me, without thinking fur- 
 ther, all that you discover of rarity. My friend, do not spare 
 my purse." And, indeed, in another place he loves Atticus 
 both for his promptitude and cheap purchases : Te multum 
 amamus, quod ea abs te diligenter, parvoque curata sunt. 
 
BO ANECDOTES. 
 
 Proper Books. — It was a remark of Seneca, that " he 
 who lends a man money to carry him to a house of ill 
 fame, or weapon for revenge, makes himself a partner ot 
 his crimes." " I stand," says Dymond, " in a bookseller's 
 store, and observe his customers come in. One orders a 
 lexicon, and one a scurrilous work of infidelity : one Cap- 
 tain Cook's Voyages, and one a new licentious romance. If 
 the bookseller takes and executes all these orders with the 
 same willingness, I cannot but perceive an inconsistency, an 
 incompleteness in the moral principles of his actions. Per- 
 haps, too, this person is so conscientious of the mischievous 
 effects of such books, that he would not allow them in the 
 hands of his children, nor suffer them to be seen on his par- 
 lour table. But, if he knows the evil they will inflict, can 
 it be right for him to be an agent in selling them ? Such a 
 person does not exhibit that consistency, that completeness 
 of virtuous conduct, without which the Christian character 
 cannot be exhibited." A fearful responsibility rests upon 
 him who writes, or reads, or publishes a book of wickedness. 
 
 The Bibliomania. — The preceding article is honoura- 
 ble to literature, yet impartial truth must show that even a 
 passion for collecting books is not always a passion for lit- 
 erature. 
 
 The " Bibliomania," or the collecting an enormous heap of 
 books without intelligent curiosity, has, since libraries have 
 existed, infected weak minds, who imagine that they them- 
 selves acquire knowledge when they keep it on their shelves. 
 Their motley libraries have been called the madhouses of 
 the human mind ; and again, the tomb of books, when the 
 possessor will not communicate them, and coffins them up 
 in the cases of his library ; and, as it was facetiously observed, 
 these collections are not without a Lock on the Human Un- 
 derstanding. 
 
 The bibliomania has never raged more violently than in 
 the present day. It is fortunate that literature is in noways 
 injured by the follies of collectors, since, though they pre- 
 serve the worthless, they necessarily defend the good. 
 
 Some collectors place all their fame on the view of a 
 splendid library, where volumes arrayed in all the pomp of 
 lettering, silk linings, triple gold bands, and tinted leather, 
 are locked up in wire cases, and secured from the vulgar 
 hands of the mere reader, dazzling our eyes like Eastern 
 beauties peering through their jealousies ! 
 
 Bruyere has touched on this mania with humour : " Of 
 such a collector," says he, " as soon as I enter his house I 
 
LITERARY. 81 
 
 am ready to faint on the staircase, from a strong smell of 
 Morocco leather ; in vain he shows me fine editions, gold 
 leaves, Etruscan bindings, &c, naming them one after an- 
 other, as if he were showing a gallery of pictures ! a gallery, 
 by-the-by, which he seldom traverses when alone, for he 
 rarely reads, but me he offers to conduct through it ! I 
 thank him for his politeness, and, as little as himself, care 
 to visit the tanhouse which he calls his library." 
 
 Lucian has composed a biting invective against an igno- 
 rant possessor of a vast library. Like him who, in the 
 present day, after turning over the pages of an old book, 
 chiefly admires the date. Lucian compares him to a pilot 
 who was never taught the science of navigation ; to a rider 
 who cannot keep his seat on a spirited horse ; to a man who, 
 not having the use of his feet, wishes to conceal the defect 
 by wearing embroidered shoes ; but, alas ! he cannot stand 
 in them ! He ludicrously compares him to Thersites wear- 
 ing the armour of Achilles, tottering at every step ; leering 
 with his little eyes under his enormous helmet, and his hunch- 
 back raising the cuirass above his shoulders. "Why do 
 you buy so many books," he says ; " you have no hair, and 
 you purchase a comb ; you are blind, and you will have a 
 grand mirror ; you are deaf, and you will have fine musical 
 instruments ! Your costly bindings are only a source of 
 vexation, and you are continually discharging your librarians 
 for not preserving them from the silent invasion of the worms 
 and the nibbling triumphs of the rats !" 
 
 Such collectors will contemptuously smile at the collec- 
 tion of the amiable Melancthon. He possessed in his library 
 only four authors, Plato, Pliny, Plutarch, and Ptolemy the 
 Geographer. 
 
 Ancient value of Books. — In the year 1471, when 
 Louis XI. borrowed the works of Rasis, the Arabian physi- 
 cian, from the faculty of medicine in Paris, he not only de- 
 posited in pledge a considerable quantity of plate, but was 
 obliged to procure a nobleman to join with him as surety in 
 a deed, binding himself under a great forfeiture to restore it. 
 When any person made a present of a book to a church or 
 a monastery, in which were the only libraries during several 
 ages, it was deemed a donation of such value that he offered 
 it on the altar, pro remedia animce sua, in order to obtain the 
 forgiveness of his sins. 
 
 Translating. — Alfieri employed a respectable young 
 
 L 
 
82 ANECDOTES. 
 
 man at Florence to assist him in his Greek translations ; and 
 the manner in which that instruction was received was not 
 a little eccentric. The latter slowly read aloud and transla- 
 ted, while Alfieri, with his pencil and tablets in his hand, 
 walked about the room and put down his version. This he 
 did without speaking a word ; and when he found his pre- 
 ceptor reciting too quickly, or when he did not understand 
 the passage, he held up his pencil. This was the signal for 
 repetition, and the last sentence was slowly recited or the 
 reading was stopped until a tap from the poet's pencil upon 
 the table warned the translator that he might continue his 
 lecture. The lesson began and concluded with a slight and 
 silent obeisance ; and during thirteen months thus spent, the 
 count scarcely spoke as many words to the assistant of his 
 studies. 
 
 Littleton's Dictionary. — -When Littleton was com- 
 piling his Latin Dictionary he employed an amanuensis. 
 One day he announced the word concurro to the ready 
 scribe, who, thinking he could translate it himself, said, 
 " Concur, I suppose ;" to which the doctor peevishly replied, 
 "Con-cur! con-dog!" The secretary, whose business it 
 was to write down whatever his master dictated, did his 
 duty. Condog was inserted, and actually printed, as one 
 interpretation of concurro,* in the edition of 1678, though it 
 was corrected in all subsequent ones. 
 
 ABSTRACTION. 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton, finding himself extremely cold one 
 evening in winter, drew his chair very close to the grate, 
 in which a large fire had recently been kindled. By de- 
 grees, the fire having completely kindled, Sir Isaac felt the 
 heat intolerably intense, and rang his bell with unusual vio- 
 lence. His servant was not at hand at the moment, but he 
 soon made his appearance. By this time Sir Isaac was 
 almost literally roasted. " Remove the grate, you lazy ras- 
 cal !" he exclaimed, in a tone of irritation very uncommon 
 with that amiable and bland philosopher ; " remove the 
 grate before I am burned to death !" " And pray, master," 
 said the servant, " might you not rather draw back your 
 chair?" "Upon my word," said Sir Isaac, smiling, "I 
 never thought of that." 
 
LITERARY. 83 
 
 William Mason. — William Mason, Esq., author of the 
 " Spiritual Treasury," while engaged in that work, was called 
 upon by a gentleman on business. Instead of taking his 
 name and address as desired, and as he thought he had done, 
 he wrote the chapter and verse on which he had been med- 
 itating ; and when he came afterward to look at the paper. 
 in order to wait upon the gentleman, he found nothing upon 
 it but Acts the second, verse the eighth ; so much was his 
 mind absorbed in divine things. 
 
 Absence of Mind. — A very absent divine, finding his 
 sight begin to fail, purchased a pair of spectacles ; and on 
 the first day of using them, preached for a brother clergy- 
 man, but was observed to have them at the top of his fore- 
 head during the whole sermon. " So you have, at last, 
 taken to spectacles, doctor ?" said a friend after the service. 
 " Yes," returned the unconscious absentee, " I found I could 
 not do without them, and I wonder now I never used them 
 till to-day !" 
 
 La Fontaine. — La Fontaine is recorded to have been one 
 of the most absent of men ; and Furetiere relates a circum- 
 stance which, if true, is one of the most singular distractions 
 possible. La Fontaine attended the burial of one of his 
 friends, and some time afterward he called to visit him. At 
 first he was shocked at the information of his death ; but, re- 
 covering from his surprise, he observed, " It is true enough, 
 for now I recollect I went to his burial." 
 
 Death of Archimedes. — When Syracuse was taken, 
 Archimedes was describing mathematical figures upon the 
 earth ; and when one of the enemy came upon him, sword 
 in hand, and asked his name, he was so engrossed with the 
 desire of preserving the figures entire that he answered 
 only by an earnest request to the soldier to keep off, and 
 not break in upon his circle. The soldier, conceiving him- 
 self scorned, ran Archimedes through the body, the pur- 
 ple streams gushing from which soon obliterated all traces 
 of the problem on which he had been so intent. Thus 
 fell this illustrious man, from the mere neglect to tell his 
 name ; for it is due to the Roman general, Marcellus, to 
 state that he had given special orders to his men to respect 
 the life and person of the philosopher. 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton and the Kittens — It is well known 
 
84 ANECDOTES 
 
 to the close observers of mankind, that the most ingenious 
 philosophers are often most signally deficient in the exercise 
 of what is called common sense. This observation was re- 
 markably illustrated in the case of Sir Isaac Newton, who 
 is generally ranked as the most profound mathematician and 
 astronomer that ever lived. His study was frequented by a 
 favourite cat, which found ingress and egress through a hole 
 cut in the door just large enough to admit her body. This 
 cat having produced a brood of kittens, when they began to 
 run about the philosopher was much fretted to think that 
 they would be confined entirely to the room unless some 
 mode was devised by which they also, as well as their 
 mother, could be provided with the means of exit as often as 
 they pleased. He, however, at length hit upon an expedient, 
 and had a small hole cut in his study door, through which 
 the little cats were enabled to pass, while the large hole 
 continued to be used by the mother. 
 
 An Absent Genius. — The Rev. George Harvest, min- 
 ister of Thames Ditton, was one of the most absent men of 
 his time. He was a good scholar, a lover of good eating, 
 and a great fisherman ; very negligent in his dress, and a be- 
 liever in ghosts. 
 
 In his youth Harvest was contracted to a daughter of 
 the Bishop of London ; but on the day agreed upon for his 
 wedding, being gudgeon fishing, he overstayed the appointed 
 time ; and the lady, justly offended at this neglect, broke off 
 the match. 
 
 He used frequently to forget the prayer days, and would 
 walk into church with his fishing-rod and tackle to see what 
 could have assembled the people. In company he never put 
 the bottle round, but always filled when it stood opposite to 
 him ; so that he very often took half a dozen glasses in 
 succession. Wherever he slept, he perverted the use of 
 everything; wrapped the handtowel round his head, put the 
 nightcap over the juglet, and went between the sheets with 
 his boots on. 
 
 Once, being to preach before the clergy at a Visitation, 
 Harvest took three sermons with him in his pocket. Some 
 wags contrived to get possession of them, unstitched them, 
 and, after mixing the leaves, sewed them up again into three 
 separate sermons as before. Mr. Harvest took the first that 
 came to his hand, began delivering it, and, as may easily be 
 imagined, lost the thread of his discourse. He was not in 
 sensible to the strange confusion in which he found himself 
 
LITERARY. 85 
 
 entangled, but nevertheless continued till he had preached 
 out first all the churchwardens, and next the clergy, who 
 thought he was taken mad. 
 
 With Mr. Arthur Onslow, the father of Lord Onslow, and 
 Speaker of the House of Commons, Mr. Harvest was also 
 on terms of great intimacy. Being one day in a punt to- 
 gether on the Thames, Mr. Harvest began to read a beauti- 
 ful passage in some Greek author; and throwing himself 
 backward in an ecstasy, fell into the water, whence he was 
 with difficulty fished out. 
 
 In the latter part of his life no one would lend or let Mr. 
 Harvest a horse, as he frequently lost his beast from under 
 him, or, at least, out of his hands. It was his practice to dis- 
 mount and lead his horse, putting the bridle under his arm ; 
 sometimes the horse would pull away the bridle unobserved ; 
 and as often it was taken off the horse's head by mischiev- 
 ous boys, and the parson was seen drawing the bridle after 
 him. 
 
 ASSOCIATION. 
 
 Nautical Sermon. — When Whitfield preached before 
 the seamen at New-York, he had the following bold apos- 
 trophe : 
 
 " Well, my boys, we have a clear sky, and are making 
 fine headway over a smooth sea, before a light breeze, and 
 we shall soon lose sight of the land ; but what means this 
 sudden lowering of the heavens, and that dark cloud rising 
 from beneath the western horizon ? Hark ! Don't you hear 
 distant thunder ? Don't you see those flashes of lightning ? 
 There is a storm gathering ! Every man to his duty ! How 
 the waves rise and dash against the ship! The air is dark ! 
 The tempest rages ! Our masts are gone ! The ship is on 
 her beam ends ! What next ?" 
 
 It is said that the unsuspecting tars, reminded of former 
 perils on the deep, as if struck by the power of magic, rose 
 with united voice and minds, and exclaimed, Take to the 
 long-boat. — Mirror. 
 
 Napoleon. — The Emperor Napoleon, whose present 
 cares might be supposed to have broken the chain of thought 
 and feeling that bound him to the past, is said to have ex- 
 pressed himself thus : " Last Sunday evening, in the general 
 
86 ANECDOTES. 
 
 silence of Nature, I was walking in these grounds (of Mal- 
 maison). The sound of the church bell of Ruel fell upon 
 my ear, and renewed all the impressions of my youth. I 
 was profoundly affected, such is the power of my early as- 
 sociations and habit ; and I considered, if such was the case 
 with me, what must be the effect of such recollections upon 
 the more simple and credulous vulgar ?" 
 
 Native African. — It is related in one of the published 
 lectures of Dr. Rush, that an old native African was per- 
 mitted by his master, a number of years since, to go from 
 home in order to see a lion that was conducted as a show 
 through the State of New-Jersey. He no sooner saw him 
 than he was so transported with joy as to express his emo- 
 tions by jumping, dancing, and loud acclamations, notwith- 
 standing the torpid habits of mind and body superinduced 
 by half a century of slavery. He had known that animal 
 when a boy in his native country, and the sight of him sud- 
 denly revived the memory of his early enjoyments, his native 
 land, his home, his associates, and his freedom. 
 
 Remarkable Remedy. — Dr. Rush says, during the time 
 I passed at a country school in Cecil county, in Maryland, 
 I often went on a holyday with my schoolmates to see an 
 eagle's nest, upon the summit of a dead tree in the neigh- 
 bourhood of the school, during the time of the incubation of 
 that bird. The daughter of the farmer in whose field this 
 tree stood, and with whom I became acquainted, married, 
 and settled in this city about forty years ago. In our occa- 
 sional interviews we now and then spoke of the innocent 
 haunts and rural pleasures of our youth, and among other 
 things of the eagle's nest in her father's field. A few years 
 ago I was called to visit this woman when she was in the 
 lowest stage of the typhus fever. Upon entering her room 
 I caught her eye, and, with a cheerful tone of voice, said 
 only, " The eagle's nestT She seized my hand, without 
 being able to speak, and discovered strong emotions of pleas- 
 ure in her countenance, probably from a sudden association 
 of all early domestic connexions and enjoyments with the 
 words I had uttered. From that time she began to recover. 
 She is now living, and seldom fails when we meet to salute 
 me with the echo of the " eagle's nest " 
 
LITERARY. 87 
 
 MEMORY. 
 
 Strength of Memory. — An Englishman at a certain 
 time came to Frederic the Great of Prussia for the express 
 purpose of giving him an exhibition of his powers of recol- 
 lection. Frederic sent for Voltaire, who read to his majesty 
 a pretty long poem which he had just finished. The Eng- 
 lishman was present, and was in such a position that he could 
 hear every word of the poem, but was concealed from Vol- 
 taire's notice. After the reading of the poem was finished. 
 Frederic observed to the author that the production could no 
 be an original one, as there was a foreign gentleman present 
 who could recite every word of it. Voltaire listened with 
 amazement to the stranger, as he repeated, word for word, 
 the poem which he had been at so much pains in compo- 
 sing ; and, giving way to a momentary freak of passion, he 
 tore the manuscript in pieces. A statement being made to 
 him of the circumstances, mitigated his anger, and he was 
 very willing to do penance for the suddenness of his passion 
 by copying down the work from a second repetition of it by 
 the stranger, who was able to go through with it as before; 
 
 Bishop Jewel. — Bishop Jewel had naturally a very 
 strong memory, which he had greatly improved by art, so 
 that he could exactly repeat whatever he wrote after once 
 reading. While the bell was ringing he committed to 
 memory a repetition sermon, and pronounced it without hes- 
 itation. He was a constant preacher; and, in his own ser- 
 mons, his course was to write down only the heads, and 
 meditate upon the rest while the bell was ringing to church. 
 So firm was his memory, that he used to say, if he were to 
 deliver a premeditated speech before a thousand auditors, 
 shouting or fighting all the while, they would not put him 
 out. John Hooper, bishop of Gloucester, who was burned 
 in the reign of Queen Mary, once, to try him, wrote about 
 forty Welsh and Irish words. Mr. Jewel going a little while 
 aside and recollecting them in his memory, and reading 
 them twice or thrice over, said them by heart backward and 
 forward, exactly in the same order as they were set down. 
 And another time he did the same by ten tines of Erasmus's 
 paraphrase in English ; the words of which being read some- 
 times confusedly without order, and sometimes in order by 
 the Lord Keeper Bacon, Mr. Jewel thinking a while on 
 them, presently repeated them again backward and forward, 
 in their right order and in their wrong, just as they were 
 
88 ANECDOTES. 
 
 read to him ; and he taught his tutor, Mr. Parkhurst, the 
 same art. 
 
 Professor Porson. — Professor Porson, when a boy at 
 Eton School, discovered the most astonishing powers of 
 memory. In going up to a lesson one day, he was accosted 
 by a boy on the same form, " Porson, what have you got 
 there ?" " Horace." " Let me look at it." Porson handed 
 the book to the boy, who, pretending to return it, dexter- 
 ously substituted another in its place, with which Porson 
 proceeded. Being called on by the master, he read and 
 construed Carm. 1, x. very regularly. Observing the class 
 to laugh, the master said, "Porson, you seem to be reading 
 on one side of the page, while I am looking at the other; 
 pray, whose edition have you?" Porson hesitated. "Let 
 me see it," rejoined the master ; who, to his great surprise, 
 found it to be an English Ovid. Porson was ordered to go 
 on, which he did easily, correctly, and promptly, to the end 
 of the ode. 
 
 Alick. — There is still living at Stirling a blind old beg- 
 gar, known to all the country round by the name of Alick, 
 who possesses a memory of almost incalculable strength. 
 It was observed with astonishment, that when he was a man, 
 and obliged by the death of his parents to gain a livelihood 
 by begging through the streets of his native town of Stirling, 
 he knew the whole of the Bible, both Old and New Testa 
 ments, by heart ; from which you may repeat any passage, 
 and he will tell you the chapter and verse ; or you may tell 
 him the chapter and verse, and he will repeat to you the 
 passage, word for word. Not long since, a gentleman, to 
 puzzle him, read, with a slight verbal alteration, a verse of the 
 Bible. Alick hesitated a moment, and then told where it was 
 to be found, but said it had not been correctly delivered. 
 He then gave it as it stood in the book, correcting the slight 
 error that had been purposely introduced. The gentleman 
 then asked him for the ninetieth verse of the seventh chap- 
 ter of Numbers. Alick was again puzzled for a moment, 
 but then said hastily, " You are fooling me, sir ! there is 
 no such verse. That chapter has only eighty-nine verses." 
 Several other experiments of the sort were tried upon him 
 with the same success. He has often been questioned the 
 day after hearing any particular sermon or speech ; and his 
 examiners have invariably found that, had their patience al- 
 lowed, blind Alick would have given them the sermon or 
 speech. 
 
LITERARY. 89 
 
 CRITICISM. 
 
 When Pope was first introduced to read his Iliad to 
 Lord Halifax, the noble critic did not venture to be dis- 
 satisfied with so perfect a composition; but, like the cardi- 
 nal, this passage and that word, this turn and that expres- 
 sion, formed the broken cant of his criticisms. The honest 
 poet was stung with vexation ; for, in general, the parts at 
 which his lordship hesitated were those of which he was 
 most satisfied. As he returned home with Sir Samuel Garth 
 he revealed to him his anxiety of mind. " Oh," replied 
 Garth, laughing, " you are not so well acquainted with his 
 lordship as myself; he must criticise. At your next visit 
 read to him those very passages as they now stand ; tell him 
 that you have recollected his criticisms ; and I'll warrant 
 you of his approbation of them. This is what I have done 
 a hundred times myself." Pope made use of this stratagem ; 
 it took, like the marble-dust of Angelo ; and my lord, like the 
 cardinal, exclaimed, " Dear Pope, they are now inimitable !" 
 
 Punctuation. — When Lord Timothy Dexter, of New- 
 buryport, wrote his book, entitled " A Pikel for the Knowing 
 Ones," there happened to be many heresies, schisms, and 
 false doctrines abroad in the land regarding punctuation, and 
 as many diverse systems appeared for locating commas, 
 semicolons, periods, dashes, &c, as there were words pub- 
 lished. To obviate this difficulty, and to give every one an 
 opportunity of suiting himself, his lordship left out all marks 
 of punctuation from the body of his work, and at the ending 
 of his book has printed four or five pages of nothing but 
 stops and pauses, with which he said the reader could pepper 
 his dish as he chose. 
 
 Michael Angelo. — Angelo was requested by the gon- 
 faloniere Soderini at Florence to undertake to form a statue 
 out of a misshapen block, on which Simon da Fiesole had 
 many years before been unsuccessfully employed in endeav- 
 ouring to represent the proportions of a giant in marble. 
 Angelo fearlessly accepted the commission ; and, in spite of 
 the difficulties to be encountered, succeeded in producing 
 the beautiful figure known under the name of the David, and 
 which now stands in front of the Palazzo Vecchio. 
 
 The statue being finished, the gonfaloniere, who professed 
 himself a connoisseur, came to inspect the purchase, and, 
 
 M 
 
90 ANECDOTES. 
 
 among other criticisms which he made, objected to the nose, 
 pronouncing it to be out of all due proportion to the rest of 
 the figure, and added that he wished some reduction should 
 take place in its size. Angelo knew well with whom he had 
 to deal ; he mounted the scaffold, for the figure is upward 
 of twelve feet high, and giving a few sonorous but harmless 
 blows with his hammer on the stone, let fall a handful of 
 marble-dust which he had scraped up from the floor below; 
 and then, descending from his station, turned to the gonfal- 
 oniere with a look expectant of his approbation. "Ay," 
 exclaimed the sagacious critic, " this is excellent ; now you 
 have given it life indeed." M. Angelo was content, and re- 
 ceiving his four hundred scudi for his task, wisely said no 
 more ; it would have been no gratification to a man like him 
 to have shown the incapacity of a critic like Soderini. 
 
 Royal Criticism. — Zuccaro, one of the painters em- 
 ployed on the Escurial, failed of giving the king satisfaction, 
 but he was notwithstanding munificently rewarded. " Se- 
 nor," said Zuccaro one day, as he was displaying a painting 
 of the Nativity for the great altar of the Escurial, "you 
 now behold all that art can execute ; beyond this which I 
 have done, the powers of painting cannot go." The king 
 was silent for some time, and so unmoved that neither ap- 
 probation nor contempt could be determined from the ex- 
 pression of his countenance ; at last, preserving still the same 
 indifference, he asked if those were eggs which one of the 
 shepherds, in the act of running, carried in his basket. The 
 painter answered that they were. " 'Tis well he did not 
 break them," said the king, and turned away. 
 
 Confusion of Words. — "There is nothing more com- 
 mon," says the lively Voltaire, " than to read and converse 
 to no purpose. In history, in morals, in law, in physic, and 
 in divinity, be careful of equivocal terms. One of the an- 
 cients wrote a book to prove that there was no word which 
 did not convey an ambiguous meaning. If we possessed 
 this lost book, our ingenious dictionaries of ' synonymes' 
 would not probably prove its uselessness. Whenever the 
 same word is associated by the parties with different names, 
 they may converse or controverse till 'the crack of doom !' 
 This, with a little obstinacy and some agility in shifting his 
 ground, makes the fortune of an opponent. While one party 
 is worried in disentangling a meaning, and the other is wind- 
 ing and unwinding about him with another, a word of the 
 
LITERARY. 91 
 
 kind we have mentioned, carelessly or perversely slipped 
 into an argument, may prolong it for a century or two, as 
 it has happened !" 
 
 Vaugelas. — Vaugelas, who passed his whole life in the 
 study of words, would not allow that the sense was to deter- 
 mine the meaning of words ; for, says he, it is the business 
 of words to explain the sense. Kant for a long while dis- 
 covered in this way a facility of arguing without end, as at 
 this moment do our political economists. " I beseech you," 
 exclaims a poetical critic, in the agony of a " confusion 
 of words," " not to ask whether I mean this or that /" 
 Our critic, convinced that he has made himself understood, 
 grows immortal by obscurity ! for he shows how a few sim- 
 ple words, not intelligible, may admit of volumes of vindica- 
 tion. Throw out a word capable of fifty senses, and you 
 raise fifty parties ! Should some friend of peace enable the 
 fifty to repose on one sense, that innocent word, no longer 
 ringing the tocsin of a party, would lie in forgetfulness in 
 the dictionary. Still more provoking when an identity of 
 meaning is only disguised by different modes of expression, 
 and when the term v has been closely sifted, to their mutual 
 astonishment, both parties discover the same thing lying 
 under the bran and chaff after this heated operation. 
 
 Plato and Aristotle probably agreed much better than the 
 opposite parties they raised up imagined ; their difference 
 was in the manner of expression rather than in the points 
 discussed. 
 
 The nominalists and the realists, who once filled the world 
 with their brawls, and who from irregular words came to 
 regular blows, could never comprehend their alternate non- 
 sense, though the nominalists only denied what no one in his 
 senses would affirm, and the realists only contended for what 
 no one in his senses would deny ; a hair's breadth might 
 have joined what the spirit of party had sundered ! 
 
 The blind Controversialists. — In our inquiries after 
 truth and defence of it, it ill becomes us to manifest a big- 
 oted, petulant disposition. We may, with all our zeal, be 
 mistaken. 
 
 A certain philanthropist, observing some poor blind men, 
 very humanely furnished each of them with a staff to help 
 them on their way ; but they, instead of thanking him, avail- 
 
92 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ing themselves of the. aid thus afforded them, and assisting 
 each other in the use of it, quickly fell into disputes respect- 
 ing its length, breadth, and thickness, till, being unable to 
 adopt the same conclusion, and equally unwilling to agree 
 to differ on the subject, forgetting the end for which the staff 
 was bestowed and the purpose to which it should be applied, 
 in the heat of their contention they actually employed it as 
 a cudgel, with which they beat one another most unmerci- 
 fully. Thus angry controversialists too often use the Bible ; 
 that which was given them for their support they convert 
 into an instrument of discord and disputation. 
 
 The Cobbler. — A cobbler at Leyden, who used to attend 
 the public disputations held at the academy, was once asked 
 if he understood Latin. " No," replied the mechanic, " but 
 I know who is wrong in the argument." " How ?" replied 
 his friend. " Why, by seeing who is angry first." 
 
 Bishop Patrick. — "There were two men," says Bishop 
 Patrick, " who, a little before the sun was up, fell into a very 
 earnest debate concerning that part of the heavens wherein 
 that glorious body was to rise that day. In this contro- 
 versy they suffered themselves to be so far engaged, that at 
 last they fell together by the ears, and ceased not their buf- 
 feting till they had beaten out each other's eyes ; and it so 
 came to pass that, when a little after the sun did show his 
 face, neither of these doughty champions could discern one 
 jot. So it is often with controversialists." 
 
 Martin Luther used to pray, " From a vainglorious doc- 
 tor, a contentious pastor, and nice questions, the Lord de- 
 liver his church." 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton had a great aversion to controversy, for 
 he did not like to have the calm repose of his life interrupted 
 by literary disputes. When his treatise on Optics was ready 
 for the press, on some objections being made to it, he de- 
 ferred the publication. " I should reproach myself," said he, 
 " were I to sacrifice repose, which is a substance, to run after 
 reputation, which is only a shadow." 
 
 Too big a Booh. — The following anecdote is illustrative 
 of the importance that may be justly attached to most con- 
 troverted subjects : 
 
 A man being about to purchase a young horse, was fearful 
 he might prove skittish, as the phrase is, and in order to test 
 
LITERARY. 93 
 
 his steadiness or strength of nerve, directed his boy to go a 
 little way off, behind the next corner, and he would ride the 
 colt down opposite to him, when the boy should start sud- 
 denly out and cry " booh !" and if the colt could stand that, 
 it would be proof enough of his being firm and well broke. 
 The boy took his station, and the man mounted and rode 
 along ; but when he came opposite the corner, and the boy 
 jumped out and cried " booh !" the colt threw him off. The 
 rider picked himself up soon, however, and rubbing his 
 shoulders and shins, asked the boy what he did so for. 
 " Why, father," said the boy, " you told me to say booh /" 
 11 Yes," said the old man, " but there was no need of saying 
 such a big booh to such a little horse." 
 
 The two Knights ; or, Zeal to be Discriminated and 
 Examined. — Many things must concur before we can be al- 
 lowed to determine whether zeal be a virtue or a vice. 
 Those who are contending for the one or the other will be 
 in the situation of the two knights, who, meeting on a cross- 
 road, were on the point of fighting about the colour of a cross 
 that was suspended between them. One insisted it was 
 gold, the other maintained it was silver. The duel was pre- 
 vented by the interference of a passenger, who desired them 
 to change their positions. Both crossed over to the opposite 
 sides ; found the cross was gold on one side and silver on 
 the other. Each then acknowledged his opponent to be right. 
 
 Custom and Habit. — Whatever be the cause, says Lord 
 Karnes, it is an established fact that we are much influ- 
 enced by custom : it hath an effect upon our pleasures, 
 upon our actions, and even upon our thoughts and sentiments. 
 Habit makes no figure during the vivacity of youth ; in mid- 
 dle age it gains ground; and in old age governs without 
 control. In that period of life, generally speaking, we eat 
 at a certain hour, take exercise at a certain hour, go to rest 
 at a certain hour, all by the direction of habit ; nay, a par- 
 ticular seat, table, bed, comes to be essential : and a habit 
 in any of these cannot be contradicted without uneasiness. 
 
 "The mind," says Mr. Cogan, "frequently acquires a 
 strong and invincible attachment to whatever has been fa- 
 miliar to it for any length of time. Habit, primarily intro- 
 duced by accident or necessity, will inspire an affection for 
 peculiarities which have the reverse of intrinsic merit to 
 recommend them." 
 
 "I once attended," says the last-mentioned author, "a 
 
94 ANECDOTES. 
 
 prisoner of some Jistinction in one of the prisons of the me- 
 tropolis, ill of a typhus fever, whose apartments were gloomy 
 in the extreme, and surrounded with horrors ; yet this pris- 
 oner assured me afterward that, upon his release, he left 
 them with a degree of reluctance ; custom had reconciled 
 him to the twilight admitted through the thick barred grate, 
 to the filthy spots and patches of his plastered walls, to the 
 hardness of his bed, and even to confinement. He had his 
 books, was visited by his friends, and was greatly amused 
 and interested in the anecdotes of the place. 
 
 " An officer of the municipality at Leyden also informed 
 the author of an instance which marks yet more strongly the 
 force of habit. A poor woman who had for some misde- 
 meanour been sentenced to confinement for a certain number 
 of years, upon the expiration of the term immediately ap- 
 plied to him for readmission. She urged that all her worldly 
 comforts were fled, and her only wish was to be indulged 
 in those imparted by habit. She moreover threatened that, 
 if this could not be granted as a favour, she would commit 
 some offence that should give her a title to be reinstated in 
 the accustomed lodgings." Thus we see that custom is a 
 catholicon for pain and distress. 
 
 Force of Habit. — Previous to the reign of Joseph the 
 Second, ignominious punishments were unknown among 
 the Likanians and Croatians of the mountains, and it was no 
 small difficulty to substitute thern for others of a more bar- 
 barous nature. The emperor one day reviewing the Lika- 
 nians in Gospich, their principal district, he said to the col- 
 onel, " These brave fellows, I know, are beaten unmercifully 
 let this treatment be discontinued." " Sire," replied the col- 
 onel, " I can assure your majesty that twenty-five strokes of 
 a cane are nothing to a Likanian ; nay, he would submit to 
 receive them for a glass of brandy." The emperor, who was 
 incredulous, soon had a proof of the veracity of this state- 
 ment. A soldier had been sentenced to receive one hundred 
 strokes ; the emperor arrived when he had undergone half 
 the punishment, and remitted the rest. To his extreme 
 mortification, the culprit immediately burst into a laugh at 
 the extravagant clemency of his sovereign: 
 
 Mathematical Habits. — Joseph Sauveur, the eminent 
 French mathematician, was twice married ; the first time he 
 took a very singular precaution : he would not meet the lady 
 till he had been with a notary to have the conditions which 
 
LITERARY. 95 
 
 he intended to insist on reduced into writing, for fear the 
 sight of her should not leave him sufficiently master of him- 
 self. This, says Dr. Hutton, was acting very wisely, and 
 like a true mathematician, who always proceeds by rule and 
 line, and makes his calculations when his head is cool. 
 
 Old Habits. — The Duke de Nivernois was acquainted 
 with the Countess de Rochefort, and never omitted going to 
 see her a single evening. As she was a widow and he a 
 widower, one of his friends observed to him, it would be 
 more convenient for him to marry that lady. " I have often 
 thought so," said he, " but one thing prevents me ; in that 
 case, ivhere should I spend my evenings . ? " 
 
 Force of Habit. — " The most extraordinary instance of 
 the force of habit I ever beheld," says Mr. Curwen, M.P., 
 "was about forty years ago, on a visit to the Isle of Man. 
 On stopping at the Calf of Man, a small islet on its south- 
 western extremity, I found that the warrener's cot, the only 
 human abode on the islet, was kept by his sister. For several 
 months in the year these two persons were completely isola- 
 ted, and never even heard the sound of a third human voice 
 unless when the intervals of the raging storm conveyed the 
 unavailing cries of the shipwrecked mariner. To support 
 such an existence seemed to require, in a rational being, 
 nerves of supernatural strength, or the influence of habit from 
 the earliest period of life. Curious to ascertain how she 
 could endure so desolate a life and such complete banish- 
 ment from all human intercourse, I inquired if she were not 
 very miserable ; if she had always been accustomed to dwell 
 in that dreary abode. To the first I was answered in the 
 negative ; to the last, my surprise was converted into per- 
 fect astonishment when I understood that, in the outset of 
 her life, she had passed six-and-twenty years in St. JamesV 
 street. This communication excited still more my wonder, 
 and made what I then saw and heard incomprehensible." 
 
 The Thread of Discourse. — Some people contract 
 strong habits of what may be called external association, the 
 body being more concerned in it than the mind, and ex- 
 ternal things than ideas. They connect a certain action with 
 a certain object, so that without the one they cannot easily 
 perform the other, although, independently of habit, there is 
 no connexion between them. Dr. Beattie mentions the case 
 of a clergyman who could not compose his sermon except 
 
96 ANECDOTES. 
 
 when he held a foot-rule in his hand ; and of another who, 
 while he was employed in study, would always be rolling 
 between his fingers a parcel of peas, whereof he constantly 
 kept a trencherful within reach of his arm. Locke speaks 
 of a young man who, in one particular room where an old 
 trunk stood, could dance very well ; but in any other room, 
 if it wanted such a piece of furniture, could not dance at all. 
 A writer in the Tatler mentions a more probable instance 
 of a lawyer, who in his pleadings used always to be twisting 
 about his finger a piece of packthread, which the punsters of 
 that time called, with some reason, the thread of his discourse. 
 One day a client of his had a mind to see how he would ac- 
 quit himself without it, and stole it from him. The conse- 
 quence was, that the orator became silent in the midst of his 
 harangue, and the client suffered for his waggery by the loss 
 of his cause. 
 
 ELOQUENCE. 
 
 Cicero. — " How long wilt thou, oh Catiline, abuse our 
 patience ? How long shall thy madness outbrave our jus- 
 tice ? To what extremities art thou resolved to push thy 
 unbridled insolence of guilt? Canst thou behold the noc- 
 turnal arms that watch the Palatium, the guards of the city, 
 the consternation of the citizens, all the wise and worthy 
 clustering into consultation, the impregnable situation of the 
 seat of the senate, and the reproachful looks of the fathers 
 of Rome ? Canst thou behold all this, and yet remain 
 undaunted and unabashed? Art thou insensible that thy 
 measures are detected ? Art thou insensible that this sen- 
 ate, now thoroughly informed, comprehend the whole extent 
 of thy guilt ? Show me the senator ignorant of thy practices 
 during the last and preceding night, of the place where you 
 met, the company you summoned, and the crime you con- 
 certed ? The senate is conscious, the consul is witness to 
 all this ; yet, oh how mean and degenerate ! the traitor lives ! 
 Lives ? he mixes with the senate ; he shares in our counsels ; 
 with a steady eye he surveys us ; he anticipates his guilt ; 
 he enjoys the murderous thought, and coolly marks us to 
 bleed ! Yet we, boldly passive in our country's cause, think 
 we act like Romans if we can escape his frantic rage .'" 
 
 Here is eloquence ! here is nature ! And in thus speak- 
 ing her language the true orator pierces with his lightnings 
 
LITERARY. 97 
 
 the deepest recesses of the heart. The success of this spe- 
 cies of oratory is infallible in the pulpit, when the preacher 
 .understands how to manage it. 
 
 Pericles. — The eloquence of Pericles, which his coun 
 trymen were wont to designate by the attribute of "thunder 
 and lightning," must have mingled a wondrous share of the 
 persuasive in its power over the passions. When Thucydi- 
 des, the Milesian, one of his great opponents in state matters, 
 was asked by Archidamus, king of Sparta, which was the 
 better wrestler, Pericles or himself, " It is in vain," replied 
 Thucydides, " to wrestle with that man. As often as I have 
 cast him to the ground, he has as stoutly denied it ; and when 
 I would maintain that he had got the fall, he would as ob- 
 stinately maintain the reverse ; and so efficaciously withal, 
 that he has made all who heard him, nay, the very specta 
 tors, believe him." 
 
 Edward IV. — On this prince's declaration of war against 
 Louis XI. of France, he addressed his parliament in an able 
 speech, which concluded with the following impressive 
 words : 
 
 " But I detain you too long by my speech from action. I 
 see the clouds of dire revenge gathering in your hearts, and 
 the lightning of fury break from your eyes, which bodes 
 thunder against our enemy ; let us therefore lose no time, 
 but suddenly and severely scourge this perjured court to a 
 severe repentance, and regain honour to our nation, and his 
 kingdom to our crown." 
 
 Tecumseh. — The Indian warrior Tecumseh, who fell in 
 the late American war, was not only an accomplished mili- 
 tary commander, but also a great natural statesman and ora- 
 tor. Among the many strange, and some strongly charac- 
 teristic, events in his life, the council which the American 
 General Harrison held with the Indians at Vincennes, in 
 1811, affords an admirable instance of the sublimity which 
 sometimes distinguished his eloquence. The chiefs of some 
 tribes had come to complain of a purchase of lands which 
 had been made from the Kickafoos. This council effected 
 nothing, but broke up in confusion, in consequence of Te- 
 cumseh having called General Harrison " a liar." It was in 
 the progress of the long talks that took place in the confer- 
 ence that Tecumseh, having finished one of his speeches, 
 looked round, and seeing every one seated, while no seat 
 
 N 5 
 
98 ANECDOTES. 
 
 was prepared for him, a momentary frown passed over his 
 countenance. Instantly General Harrison ordered that a 
 chair should be given him. Some person presented one, 
 and, bowing, said to him, "Warrior, your father, General 
 Harrison, offers you a seat." Tecumseh's dark eye flashed. 
 " My father !" he exclaimed, indignantly, extending his arm 
 towards the heavens ; " the sun is my father, and the earth is 
 my mother; she gives me nourishment, and I repose upon her 
 bosom." As he ended he sat down suddenly on the ground. 
 
 Patrick Henry. — Wheri Patrick Henry, who gave the 
 first impulse to the ball of American revolution, introduced 
 his celebrated resolution on the stamp act into the House of 
 Burgesses of Virginia (May, 1765), he exclaimed, when des- 
 canting on the tyranny of the obnoxious act, " CaBsar had his 
 Brutus ; Charles the First his Cromwell ; and George the 
 Third — " " Treason !" cried the speaker ; " treason ! trea- 
 son !" echoed from every part of the house. It was one 
 of those trying moments which are decisive of character. 
 Henry faltered not for an instant ; but rising to a loftier at- 
 titude, and fixing on the speaker an eye flashing with fire, 
 continued, " may profit by their example. If this be trea- 
 son, make the most of it." 
 
 In 1774 he appeared in the venerable body of the old 
 Continental Congress of the United States when it met for 
 the first time. Henry broke the silence which for a while 
 overawed the minds of all present, and as he proceeded, 
 rose with the magnitude and importance of the subject to the 
 noblest displays of argument and of eloquence. " This," 
 said he, " is not the time for ceremony ; the question before 
 the house is one of awful moment to this country. It is 
 nothing less than freedom or slavery. If we wish to be free, 
 we must fight ; I repeat it, sir, we must fight! an appeal to 
 arms and to the God of Hosts is all that is left us. Jt is in 
 vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry 
 peace ! peace ! but there is no peace. The war is actually 
 begun. The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring 
 to our ears the clash of resounding arms ; our brethren are 
 already in the field ! why stand we here idle ? What is it 
 that gentlemen wish ? What would they have ? Is life so 
 dear, and peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of 
 chains and slavery ? Forbid it, Almighty God ! I know not 
 what course others may take, but as for me," cried he, with 
 both his arms extended aloft, his brows knit, every feature 
 marked with the resolute purpose of his soul, and his voice 
 
LITERARY. 99 
 
 swelled to its boldest note of exclamation, "give me liberty 
 or give me death!" He took his seat, and the cry "to 
 arms !" seemed to quiver upon every lip and gleam from 
 every eye. 
 
 Henry lived to behold the glorious issue of that revolution 
 which his genius had set in motion ; and, to use his own 
 prophetic language before the commencement of the revolu- 
 tion, " to see America take her station among the nations of 
 the earth." 
 
 A Secret. — Mr. Jones, in his Life of Bishop Home, 
 speaking of Dr. Hinchcliffe, bishop of Peterborough, says, 
 that in the pulpit he " spoke with the accent of a man of 
 sense (such as he really was in a superior degree) ; but it 
 was remarkable, and, to those who did not know the cause, 
 mysterious, that there was not a corner of the church in 
 which he could not be heard distinctly." The reason which 
 Mr. Jones assigns was, that he made it an invariable rule 
 " to do justice to every consonant, knowing that the vowels 
 will be sure to speak for themselves. And thus he became 
 the surest and clearest of speakers ; his elocution was per 
 feet, and never disappointed his audience." 
 
 Logan the Indian. — Logan, the celebrated Indian chief, 
 who had long been a zealous partisan of the English, and 
 had often distinguished himself in their service, was taken 
 prisoner and brought before the General Assembly of Vir- 
 ginia, who hesitated whether he should be tried by a court- 
 martial as a soldier, or at the criminal bar for high treason 
 Logan interrupted their deliberations, and stated to the as- 
 sembly that they had no jurisdiction to try him ; " that he 
 owed no allegiance to the King of England, being an Indian 
 chief, independent of every nation." In answer to their in- 
 quiries as to his motives for taking up arms against the 
 English, he thus addressed the assembly : 
 
 " I appeal to any white man to say if ever he entered Lo- 
 gan's cabin hungry, and I gave him not meat ; if ever he 
 came cold or naked, and I gave him not clothing. During 
 the last long and bloody war, Logan remained idle in his 
 tent, an advocate for peace ; nay, such was my love for the 
 whites, that those of my own country pointed at me as they 
 passed by, and said, Logan is the friend of white men. I 
 had ever thought to live with you, but for the injuries of one 
 man. Colonel Cressap the last spring, in cold blood and 
 unprovoked, cut off all the relations of Logan, not sparing 
 
100 ANECDOTES. 
 
 even my women and children. There runs not a drop of 
 my blood in the veins of any human creature. This called 
 on me for revenge. I have sought it. I have killed many. 
 I have fully glutted my vengeance. For my country, I re- 
 joice at the beams of peace. But do not harbour the thought 
 that mine is the joy of fear. Logan never felt fear. He 
 will not turn his heel to save his life. Who is there to 
 mourn for Logan? Not one." 
 
 This pathetic and affecting speech touched the sensibility 
 of all who heard him. The General Assembly applauded his 
 noble sentiments, and immediately set him at liberty. Every 
 house in Virginia vied with each other which should enter- 
 tain him the best or show him the most respect ; and he 
 returned to his native country loaded with presents and hon- 
 ours. 
 
 Effect. — Mr. Lee, the barrister, was famous for studying 
 effect when he pleaded. On the circuit of Norwich a brief 
 was brought to him by the relatives of a woman who had 
 been deceived into a breach of promise of marriage. Lee 
 inquired, among other particulars, whether the woman was 
 handsome. " A most beautiful face," was the answer. 
 Satisfied with this, he desired she should be placed at the 
 bar, immediately in front of the jury. When he rose he 
 began a most pathetic and eloquent address, directing the 
 attention of the jury to the charms which were placed in 
 their view, and painting in glowing colours the guilt of the 
 wretch who could injure so much beauty. When he per- 
 ceived their feelings worked up to a proper pitch, he sat 
 down, under the perfect conviction that he should obtain a 
 verdict. What, then, must have been his surprise, when the 
 counsel retained by the opposite party rose and observed, 
 " that it was impossible not to assent to the encomiums which 
 his learned friend had lavished on the face of the plaintiff; 
 but he had forgot to say that she had a wooden leg /" This 
 fact, of which Lee was by no means aware, was established 
 to his utter confusion. His eloquence was thrown away ; 
 and the jury, who felt ashamed of the effects it had produced 
 upon them, instantly gave a verdict against him. 
 
 Physiognomy. — A witness was one day called to the bar 
 of the House of Commons, when some one took notice and 
 pointedly remarked upon his ill looks. Mr. Fox (afterward 
 Lord Holland), whose gloomy countenance strongly marked 
 his character, observed "that it was unjust, ungenerous, 
 
LITERARY. 101 
 
 and unmanly to censure a man for that signature which God 
 had impressed upon his countenance, and which, therefore, 
 he could not by any means remedy or avoid." Mr. Pitt 
 rose hastily and said, " I agree from my heart with the ob- 
 servation of my fellow-member; it is forcible, it is judicious, 
 and true. "But there are some" (throwing his eyes full on 
 Fox) " upon whose face the hand of Heaven has so stamped 
 the mark of wickedness, that it were impiety not to give it 
 credit." 
 
 Bold Appeal. — A poor old woman had often in vain at- 
 tempted to obtain the ear of Philip of Macedon to certain 
 wrongs of which she complained. The king at last abruptly 
 told her " he was not at leisure to hear her." " No !" ex- 
 claimed she ; " then you are not at leisure to be a king." 
 Philip was confounded ; he pondered a moment in silence 
 over her words, then desired her to proceed with her case, 
 and ever after made it a rule to listen attentively to the ap- 
 plications of all who addressed him. 
 
 Mr. Burke. — When the trial of Mr. Hastings commenced 
 in Westminster Hall, the first two days were taken up in 
 reading the articles of impeachment against him ; and four 
 more were occupied by Mr. Burke in opening the case and 
 stating the grounds of the accusation. Never were the 
 powers of that great man displayed to such advantage as on 
 this occasion. He seemed for the moment as if armed to 
 destroy with all the lightning of all the passions. The whole 
 annals of judicial oratory contain nothing finer than his con- 
 clusion. 
 
 "I impeach Warren Hastings," said he, "in the name of 
 the Commons of Great Britain, in parliament assembled, 
 whose parliamentary trust he has abused. 
 
 " I impeach him in the name of the Commons of Great 
 Britain, whose national character he has dishonoured. 
 
 " I impeach him in the name of the people of India, whose 
 laws, rights, and liberties he has subverted ; whose properties 
 he has destroyed ; whose country he has laid waste and 
 desolate. 
 
 " I impeach him in the name of human nature itself, which 
 he has so cruelly outraged, injured, and oppressed. And 1 
 impeach him in the name and by the virtue of those eternal 
 laws of justice, which ought equally to pervade in both sexes, 
 every age, condition, rank, and situation in the world." 
 
 The agitation produced by this speech was such that the 
 
102 ANECDOTES. 
 
 whole audience appeared to have felt one convulsive emotion ; 
 and when it was over, it was some time before Mr. Fox 
 could obtain a hearing. 
 
 Amid the assemblage of concurring praises which this 
 speech excited, none was more remarkable than the tribute 
 of Mr. Hastings himself. " For half an hour," said that gen- 
 tleman, " I looked up at the orator in a reverv of wonder, 
 and during that space I actually felt myself the most culpa- 
 ble man on earth." Had the sentiment concluded here, our 
 readers would not believe that it was in the language or 
 manner of Mr. Hastings. " But," continued he, " I recurred 
 to my own bosom, and there found a consciousness which 
 consoled me under all I heard and all I suffered." 
 
 Seneca Indians. — It is a melancholy reflection, that the 
 aboriginal tribes of North America have, with but few ex- 
 ceptions, received at the hands of those who have usurped 
 their domain little else but reiterated wrongs and outrage. 
 Whole nations of them have been already so entirely exter- 
 minated, that no trace of them now remains except their 
 names ; and when we consider that the same system which 
 has in so short a space of time produced such destruction, 
 is still, with but little exception, in full operation, and must, if 
 not speedily arrested, sweep from existence the few scattered 
 tribes which yet survive, we think it cannot fail to excite the 
 deepest regret in every benevolent mind, and to awaken 
 a strong feeling of commiseration and tenderness towards 
 this helpless and oppressed part of the great family of man- 
 kind. The voice of the oppressed never, perhaps, spoke to 
 the ear of the oppressor in a tone of more sublime reproach 
 than is displayed in the following passages of an address 
 which the Seneca Indians presented to Governor Clinton, of 
 New-York, on the subject of their condition and prospects, 
 in the month of February, 1818. 
 
 " Father — We feel that the hand of our God has long been 
 heavy on his red children. For our sins he has brought us 
 low, and caused us to melt away before our white brothers 
 as snow before the fire. His ways are perfect ; he regard- 
 eth not the complexion of men. God is terrible in judgment. 
 All men ought to fear before him. He putteth down and 
 buildelh up, and none can resist him. 
 
 " Father — The Lord of the whole earth is strong ; this is 
 our confidence. He hath power to build up as well as to 
 pull down. Will he keep his anger for ever ? Will he 
 pursue to destruction the work of his own hand, and strike 
 
LITERARY. 103 
 
 off a race of men from the earth whom his care hath so long 
 preserved through so many perils ? 
 
 " Father — We thank you that you feel anxious to do all 
 you can to the perishing ruins of your red children. We 
 hope, father, you will make a fence strong and high around 
 us, that wicked white men may not devour us at once, but 
 let us live as long as we can. We are persuaded you will 
 do this for us, because our field is laid waste and trodden 
 down by every beast ; we are feeble, and cannot resist them. 
 
 "Father — We are persuaded you will do this for the 
 sake of our white brothers, lest God, who lias appeared so 
 strong in building up white men and pulling down In- 
 dians, should turn his hand and visit our white brothers 
 for their sins, and call them to an account for all the wrongs 
 they have done them, and all the wrongs they have not pre- 
 vented, that was in their power to prevent, to their poor red 
 brothers who have no helper." 
 
 Patrick Henry. — The versatility of talent for which 
 Patrick Henry, the American orator and patriot, was distin- 
 guished, was happily illustrated in a trial which took place 
 soon after the war of independence. During the distress of 
 the republican army consequent on the invasion of Corn- 
 wallis and Phillips in 1781, Mr. Venable, an army commis- 
 sary, took two steers for the use of the troops from Mr. 
 Hook, a Scotchman and a man of wealth, who was sus- 
 pected of being unfriendly to the American cause. The act 
 had not been strictly legal ; and on the establishment of 
 peace, Hook, under the advice of Cowan, a gentleman of 
 some distinction in the law, thought proper to bring an ac- 
 tion of trespass against Mr. Venable in the district court of 
 New-London. Mr. Henry appeared for the defendant, and 
 is said to have conducted himself in a manner much to the 
 enjoyment of his hearers, the unfortunate Hook, of course, 
 excepted. After Mr. Henry became animated in the cause, 
 he appeared to have complete control over the passions of 
 his audience ; at one time he excited their indignation against 
 Hook ; vengeance was visible in every countenance ; again, 
 when he chose to relax and ridicule him, the whole audience 
 was in a roar of laughter. He painted the distress of the 
 American army, exposed almost naked to the rigour of a win- 
 ter's sky, and marking the frozen ground over which they 
 marched with the blood of their unshod feet. "Where was 
 the man," he said, " who had an American bosom, who 
 would not have thrown open his fields, his barns, his cellars 
 
104 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the doors of his house, the portals of his breast, to re 
 ceive with open arms the meanest soldier in that little band 
 of famished patriots? Where is the man ? There he stands ; 
 but whether the heart of an American beats in his bosom, 
 you, gentlemen, are to judge." He then carried the jury by 
 the power of his imagination to the plains around York, the 
 surrender of which had followed shortly after the act com- 
 plained of. He depicted the surrender in the most glowing 
 and noble colours of his eloquence ; the audience saw before 
 their eyes the humiliation and dejection of the British as they 
 marched out of their trenches ; they saw the triumph which 
 lighted up every patriotic face ; they heard the shouts of vic- 
 tory, the cry of " Washington and liberty !" as it rung and 
 echoed through the American ranks, and was reverberated 
 from the hills and shores of the neighbouring river; "but 
 hark !" continued Henry, " what notes of discord are these 
 which disturb the general joy and silence the acclamations 
 of victory ? They are the notes of John Hook, hoarsely 
 bawling through the American camp, 'Beef! beef! beef!'" 
 The court was convulsed with laughter; when Hook, 
 turning to the clerk, said, " Never mind, you mon ; wait till 
 Billy Cowan gets up, and he'll show him the la." But Mr. 
 Cowan was so completely overwhelmed by the torrent which 
 bore upon his client, that, when he rose to reply to Mr. 
 Henry, he was scarcely able to make an intelligible or audi- 
 ble remark. The cause was decided almost by acclamation. 
 The jury retired for form's sake, and instantly returned with 
 a verdict for the defendant. 
 
 PULPIT ELOQUENCE. 
 
 Jeremy Taylor, Bishop of Down. — This eloquent pre 
 late, from the fertility of his mind and the extent of his ima 
 gination, has been styled the Shakspeare of Divines. His 
 sermons abound with some of the most brilliant passages, 
 and embrace such a variety of matter and such a mass of 
 knowledge and of learning, that even the acute Bishop 
 Warburton said of him, " I can fathom the understandings 
 of most men, yet I am not certain that I can always fathom 
 the understanding of Jeremy Taylor." His comparison be- 
 tween a married and a single life, in his sermon on the Bless- 
 edness of the Marriage Vow, is rich in tender sentiments and 
 exquisitely elegant imagery. " Marriage," says the bishop, 
 
LITERARY. 105 
 
 " is the mother of the world, and preserves kingdoms, and 
 fills cities, churches, and even Heaven itself. Celibacy, like 
 the fly in the heart of an apple, dwells in a perpetual sweet- 
 ness, but sits alone, and is confined, and dies in singularity , 
 but marriage, like the useful bee, builds a house, and gathers 
 sweetness from every flower, and labours and unites into so- 
 cieties and republics, and sends out colonies, and fills the 
 world with delicacies, and obeys their king, keeps order, 
 and exercises many virtues, and promotes the interest of 
 mankind, and is that state of things to which God hath de- 
 signed the present constitution of the world. Marriage hath 
 in it the labour of love and the delicacies of friendship ; the 
 blessings of society and the union of hands and hearts. It 
 hath in it less of beauty, but more of safety than a single 
 life ; it is more merry and more sad ; is fuller of joys and 
 fuller of sorrow ; it lies under more burdens, but is supported 
 by all the strength of love and charity ; and these burdens 
 are delightful." 
 
 Whitfield's Eloquence. — Perhaps the greatest proof 
 of the persuasive powers of the celebrated Whitfield's elo- 
 quence was evinced when he drew from Franklin's pocket 
 the money which that clear, cool reasoner had determined 
 not to give : it was for the orphan-house at Savannah. " I 
 did not," says the American philosopher, "disapprove of the 
 design ; but, as Georgia was then destitute of materials and 
 workmen, and it was proposed to send them from Philadel- 
 phia at a great expense, 1 thought it would be better to build 
 the house at Philadelphia and bring the children to it. This 
 I advised ; but he was resolute in his project, rejected my 
 counsel, and I therefore refused to contribute. I happened 
 soon after to attend one of his sermons, in the course of which 
 f perceived he intended to finish with a collection, and I si- 
 lently resolved he should get nothing from me. [ had in 
 my pocket a handful of copper money, three or four silver 
 dollars, and five pistoles in gold. As he proceeded I began 
 to soften, and concluded to give the copper ; another stroke 
 of his oratory made me ashamed of that, and determined me 
 to give the silver ; and he finished so admirably that I emp- 
 tied my pocket wholly into the collector's dish, gold and all. 
 At this sermon," continues Franklin, " there was also one 
 of our club, who, being of my sentiments respecting the build- 
 ing in Georgia, and suspecting a collection might be intend- 
 ed, had, bv precaution, emptied his pockets before he came 
 from home ; towards the conclusion of the discourse, how- 
 
 O 
 
106 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ever, he felt a strong inclination to give, and applied to a 
 neighbour who stood near him to lend him some money for 
 the purpose. The request was fortunately made to perhaps 
 the only man in the company who had the firmness not to be 
 affected by the preacher. His answer was, ' At any other 
 time, Friend Hopkinton, I would lend to thee freely ; for 
 thee seems to me to be out of thy right senses.' " — Southey's 
 Life of Wesley. 
 
 Bigotry. — The orator of the " Emerald Isle," in a speech 
 at a meeting of the Catholics of Dublin, thus personifies 
 bigotry : " She has no head and cannot think ; no heart and 
 cannot feel ! When she moves, it is in wrath ; when she 
 pauses, it is amid ruin; her prayers are curses; her god is 
 a demon ; her communion is death ; her vengeance is eter- 
 nity ; her decalogue is written in the blood of her victims ; 
 and, if she stops for a moment in her infernal flight, it is 
 upon a kindred rock, to whet her vulture fang for keenest 
 rapine, and replume her wing for a more sanguinary deso- 
 lation." 
 
 Saurin. — The celebrated Saurin, wiien one of the pastors 
 to the French refugees at the Hague, was so celebrated for his 
 preaching that he was constantly attended by a crowded and 
 brilliant audience. His style was pure, unaffected, and elo- 
 quent, sometimes plain and sometimes flowery, but never 
 improper. " In the introduction to his sermons," says Mr. 
 Robinson, "he used to deliver himself in a tone modest and 
 low ; in the body of the sermon, which was adapted to the 
 understanding, he was plain, clear, and argumentative ; 
 pausing at the close of each period, that he might discover 
 by the countenances and motions of his hearers whether 
 they were convinced by his reasoning. In his addresses to 
 the wicked (and it is a folly to preach as if there were none 
 in our assemblies), Mr. Saurin was often sonorous, but oft- 
 ener a weeping suppliant at their feet. In the one he sus- 
 tained the authoritative dignity of his office ; in the other he 
 expressed his Master's and his own benevolence to bad men. 
 'praying them, in Christ's stead, to be reconciled to God.' 
 In general, his preaching resembled a plentiful shower of 
 dew, softly and imperceptibly insinuating itself into the 
 minds of his numerous hearers, as the dew into the pores 
 of plants, Vill all the church was dissolved, and all in tears 
 inder his sermons." 
 
LITERARY. 1 07 
 
 MASSILLON. 
 
 " There stands 
 The legate of the skies ! his theme divine, 
 His office sacYed, his credentials clear, 
 By him the violated law speaks out 
 Its thunders ; and by him, in strains as sweet 
 As angels use, the gospel whispers peace." 
 
 Cowper. 
 
 When this illustrious preacher was asked where a man 
 like him, whose life was dedicated to retirement, could bor- 
 row his admirable descriptions of real life, he answered, 
 " From the human heart ; however little we examine it, we 
 shall find in it the seeds of every passion. When I compose 
 a sermon, I imagine myself consulted upon some doubtful 
 piece of business. I give my whole application to deter- 
 mine the person who has recourse to me to act the good and 
 proper part. I exhort him, I urge him, and I leave him not 
 till he has yielded to my persuasions." 
 
 On preaching the first Advent sermon at Versailles, Louis 
 XIV. paid the following most expressive tribute to the power 
 of his eloquence : " Father, when I hear others preach, I am 
 very well pleased with them ; when I hear you, I am dissat- 
 isfied with myself." 
 
 The first time he preached his sermon on the small num- 
 ber of the elect, the whole audience were at a certain part 
 of it seized with such violent emotion that almost every per- 
 son half rose from his seat, as if to shake ofT the horror of 
 being one of the cast-out into everlasting darkness. 
 
 When Baron, the actor, came from hearing one of his ser- 
 mons, " Friend," said he, to one of the same profession who 
 accompanied him, "here is an orator ; we are only actors" 
 
 Animation. — There are two kinds.of animation in preach- 
 ing; one wherein the preacher does not feel his subject, and 
 therefore assumes the tones, and gestures, and impassioned 
 delivery of a man in earnest. The other is when he does 
 feel it; when he is really in earnest ; when he is enforcing 
 some truth which has deeply occupied his meditations ; and 
 then he becomes truly eloquent, notwithstanding, perhaps, a 
 bad voice and an ungraceful delivery. The eloquence of 
 the former is studied, artificial, often pompous, but falls coldly 
 on the ear. That of the latter is plain, direct, natural, and 
 sincere, and therefore descends into the heart. The hearers 
 fix their eyes immoveably on the speaker; they follow him 
 through all his illustrations ; they weigh his arguments; they 
 attend him to the conclusion ; they forget the preacher in 
 the subject, and no part of the discourse escapes their notice. 
 
108 ANECDOTES. 
 
 It is only men of this stamp who are or can be truly eloquent 
 in the pulpit. It is not enough for them to know that they 
 are uttering truth ; they must feel that it is important truth ; 
 and the impression must be strong upon them at the moment 
 of delivery, or " their words will return unto them void." 
 
 True Eloquence. — "I was one Sunday riding through 
 the county of Orange, on the eastern side of the Blue Ridge," 
 says Wirt, in his British Spy, " when my eye was caught 
 by a cluster of horses tied near a ruinous wooden house in 
 the forest, not far from the roadside. Having frequently 
 seen such objects before, I had no difficulty in understanding 
 that this was a place of religious worship. Curiosity to hear 
 the preacher of such a wilderness induced me to join the 
 congregation. On my entrance I was struck with his su- 
 pernatural appearance. He was a tall and very spare old 
 man ; his head, which was covered with a white linen cap, 
 his shrivelled hands, and his voice, were all shaking under 
 the influence of palsy, and a few moments ascertained to me 
 that he was perfectly blind. It was the day of the Sacra- 
 ment ; his subject was the passion of our Saviour, and he 
 gave it a new and more sublime pathos than I had ever be- 
 fore seen. When he descended from the pulpit to distribute 
 the mystic symbols, there was a peculiar, a more than human 
 solemnity in his voice and manner, which made my blood 
 run cold and my whole frame shiver. His peculiar phrases 
 had that force of description, that the original scene seemed 
 acting before our eyes. We saw the very faces of the Jews ; 
 the staring, frightful distortions of malice and of rage. But 
 when he came to touch on the patience, the forgiving meek- 
 ness of our Saviour; when he drew to the life his blessed 
 eyes streaming with tears, his voice breathing to God the 
 gentle prayer, ' Father, forgive them, for they know not what 
 they do,' the voice of the preacher, which had all along fal- 
 tered, grew fainter and fainter, until it was entirely obstruct- 
 ed by the force of his feelings, when he raised his handker- 
 chief to his eyes, and burst into a loud and irrepressible flood 
 of grief. The effect was inconceivable. The whole house 
 resounded with mingled groans, and sobs, and shrieks. I 
 could not imagine how the speaker could let his audience 
 down from the height to which he had wound them without 
 impairing the solemnity of his subject or shocking them by 
 the abruptness of his fall. But the descent was as beau- 
 tiful and sublime as the elevation had been rapid and enthu- 
 siastic. The tumult of feeling subsided, and a deathlike 
 
LITERARY. 109 
 
 stillness reigned throughout the house, when the aged man 
 removed his handkerchief from his eyes, still wet with the 
 torrent of his tears, and slowly stretching forth his palsied 
 hand, he exclaimed, ' Socrates died like a philosopher;' then 
 pausing, clasping his hands with fervour to his heart, lifting 
 his ' sightless balls' to heaven, and pouring his whole soul 
 into his tremulous voice, he continued, ' but Jesus Christ 
 died like a God.' Had he been an angel of light, the effect 
 could scarcely have been more divine." 
 
 Summerfield Preaching to Children. — As for chil- 
 dren, says the Rev. J. N. Danforth, did ever man win their 
 little hearts with superior grace and success ? Every cler- 
 gyman who has tried it knows the difficulty of addressing 
 them appropriately, and if he can make himself understood, 
 he thinks he has attained much. But beyond this first re 
 quisite of an orator, according to Dr. Blair, he hardly pre- 
 sumes to go. To be eloquent is out of the question. But 
 Summerfield shone here. He seemed to impart his soul to 
 their souls ; to come down from the dignity and precision of 
 a more elaborate style, and suit his thoughts, words, and feel- 
 ings to their particular capacities. It was, in the soft, ex- 
 pressive language of Scripture, " as the small rain upon the 
 tender herb, and as showers upon the grass," that his " doc- 
 trine" then distilled from his lips. He announced his text ; 
 let his face relax into one of those celestial smiles which 
 were sometimes permitted to revel there ; looked more than 
 benevolently around on the vast assemblage of children (who 
 thronged the church in Baltimore) before him ; seemed to 
 feel something kindling within. " That's a sweet text, is it 
 not?" exclaimed he, by way of exordium. The effect was 
 electrical; a thousand little faces glimmered with smiles, in- 
 stinctively reflecting, as it were, the expression of that fine 
 original that beamed before them. A collection was to be 
 taken up for the benefit of the Wyandot Mission. No child 
 was to give over six cents. When the plates were handed 
 round, they were so overloaded by the tribute of little hands 
 that they were scarcely portable, and some of them required 
 to be unladen before they could finish their round. 
 
110 ANECDOTES. 
 
 HONESTY. 
 
 Dr. A. Clarke. — Those who have perused the memoir 
 of Dr. Clarke will probably recollect, that in early life he 
 was placed with a Mr. Bennet, a linen merchant of Cole- 
 raine, in the north of Ireland. In his autobiography the doc- 
 tor remarks, when speaking of the business in which he was 
 engaged, " he thought he saw several things in it that he 
 could hardly do with a clear conscience." It would, per- 
 haps, not be uninteresting to know what were these " sev- 
 eral things." One of them is as follows : Mr. Bennet and 
 Mr. Clarke were one day engaged in preparing the linen for 
 the great market in Dublin, measuring how many yards 
 there were in each piece, Adam laying hold of one end and 
 Mr. B. of the other. They found that one piece wanted a 
 couple of inches to make a complete yard at the end. 
 " Come, Adam," says Mr. B., " lay hold of the piece and 
 pull against me, and we shall soon make it come up to the 
 yard." Alas ! he little knew whom he had to deal with. 
 Adam dropped the linen on the ground, stood and looked 
 like one confounded. " What's the matter ?" said Mr. B. 
 " Sir," says he, " I can't do it ; I think it is a wrong thing." 
 "Nonsense," says Mr. B., "it is done every day; it won't 
 make the linen a bit the worse ; the process it has passed 
 through has made it shrink a little. Come, take hold." 
 " No," says he, " no." Mr. B. was a very placid man, and 
 they entered into a dispute about this piece of linen, until, 
 at last, he was obliged to give it up ; it was a lost case ; 
 Adam would not consent to meddle with it; he thought it 
 was not fair ; at least it did not suit the standard of his con- 
 science. Thus early exemplifying that scrupulous honesty 
 for which he was during life remarkable. 
 
 Honesty and Bravery. — The Prince of Conti being 
 highly pleased with the intrepid behaviour of a grenadier at 
 the siege of Phillipsburgh in 1734, threw him his purse, 
 excusing the smallness of the sum it contained as being too 
 poor a reward for his courage. Next morning the grenadier 
 went to the prince with a couple of diamond rings and othei 
 jewels of considerable value. " Sir," said he, " the gold 1 
 found in your purse I suppose your highness intended foi 
 me ; but these 1 bring back to you as having no claim on 
 them.'" " You have, soldier," answered the prince, " doubly 
 deserved them by your bravery and by your honesty ; there 
 fore they are yours." 
 
MORAL. Ill 
 
 Honesty best Policy. — Some years since there resided 
 in a country village a poor but worthy clergyman, who, with 
 the small stipend of forty pounds per annum, supported him- 
 self, a wife, and seven children. At one time, walking and 
 meditating in the fields, in much distress from the narrow- 
 ness of his circumstances, he stumbled on a purse of gold. 
 Looking round, in vain, to find its owner, he carried it home 
 to his wife, who advised him to employ at least a part of it 
 in extricating them from their present difficulty ; but he con- 
 scientiously refused until he had used his utmost endeavours 
 to find out its former proprietor, assuring her that honesty is 
 always the best policy After a short time it was owned by 
 a gentleman who lived at some little distance, to whom the 
 clergyman returned it without any other reward than thanks. 
 On the good man's return, his wife could not help reproach- 
 ing the gentleman with ingratitude, and censuring the over- 
 scrupulous honesty of her husband ; but he only replied as 
 before, honesty is the best policy. A few months after this 
 the curate received an invitation to dine with the aforesaid 
 gentleman ; who, after hospitably entertaining him, gave him 
 the presentation to a living of three hundred pounds per an- 
 num, to which he added a bill of fifty pounds for his present 
 necessities. The curate, after making suitable acknowledg- 
 ments to his benefactor, returned with joy to his wife and 
 family, acquainting them with the happy change in his cir- 
 cumstances, and adding that he hoped she would now be 
 convinced that honesty was the best policy ; to which she 
 readily assented. 
 
 One day, when a vacant see was to be filled, the synod 
 observed to the emperor, Peter the Great, that they had 
 none but ignorant men to present to his majesty. " Well, 
 then," replied the Czar, "you have only to pitch upon the 
 most honest man ; he will be worth two learned ones." 
 
 Goldsmith. — Previously to Dr. Goldsmith's publishing his 
 " Deserted Village," the bookseller had given him a note for 
 one hundred guineas for the copy, which the doctor mentioned 
 a few hours after to one of his friends, who observed that it 
 was a very great sum for so short a performance. " In truth," 
 replied Goldsmith, "I think so too; I have not been easy 
 since I received it ; therefore I will go back and return him 
 his note ;" which he absolutely did, and left it entirely to the 
 bookseller to pay him according to the profits produced by 
 the sale of the piece, which turned out very considerable. 
 Honesty is the best policy. 
 
112 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Smollett. — A beggar asking Dr. Smollett for alms, he 
 gave him, through mistake, a guinea. The poor fellow, on 
 perceiving it, hobbled after him to return it ; upon which 
 Smollett returned it to him, with another guinea as a reward 
 for his honesty, exclaiming, at the same time, "What a lodg- 
 ing has honesty taken up with !" 
 
 True Honesty. — Some years ago, two aged men near 
 Marshalton traded, or, according to Virginia parlance, swap- 
 ped horses on this condition : that on that day week, the 
 one who thought he had the best of the bargain should pay 
 to the other two bushels of wheat. The day came, and, as 
 luck would have it, they met about half way between their 
 respective homes. " Where art thou going ?" said one. 
 " To thy house with the wheat," answered the other. "And 
 whither art thou riding ?" " Truly," replied the first, " I 
 was taking the wheat to thy house." Each, pleased with 
 his bargain, had thought the wheat justly due to his neigh- 
 bour, and was going to pay it. 
 
 EXPEDIENCY. 
 
 William Williams, one of the Signers of the Decla- 
 ration of Independence. — In confirmation of the evidence 
 of the firmness and patriotism of Mr. Williams, the following 
 anecdote may be added. Towards the close of the year 
 1776, the military affairs of the colonies wore a gloomy as- 
 pect, and strong fears began to prevail that the contest would 
 go against them. In this dubious state of things the coun- 
 cil of safety for Connecticut was called to sit at Lebanon. 
 Two of the members of this council, William Hillhouse 
 and Benjamin Huntington, quartered with Mr. Williams. 
 
 One evening the conversation turned upon the gloomy 
 state of the country and the probability that, after all, suc- 
 cess would crown the British arms. "Well," said Mr. Wil- 
 liams, with great calmness, " if they succeed, it is pretty 
 evident what will be my fate. I have done much to prose- 
 cute the contest, and one thing I have done which the Brit- 
 ish will never pardon — I have signed the Declaration of In- 
 dependence. I shall be hanged." Mr. Hillhouse expressed 
 his hope that America would yet be successful, and his con- 
 fidence that this would be her happy fortune. Mr. Hun- 
 tington observed, that, in case of ill success, he should be 
 
MORAL. 113 
 
 exempt from the gallows, as his signature was not attached 
 to the Declaration of Independence, nor had he written any- 
 thing against the British government. To this Mr. Wil- 
 liams replied, his eye kindling as he spoke, "Then, sir, you 
 deserve to be hanged for not having done your duty." 
 
 Honour dearer than Life. — An American officer, du- 
 ring the war of Independence, was ordered to a station of ex- 
 treme peril, when several around him suggested various 
 expedients by which he might evade the dangerous post 
 assigned him. He made them the following heroic reply : 
 " I thank you, my friends, for your solicitude ; I know I can 
 easily save my life, but who will save my honour should 1 
 adopt your advice ?" 
 
 A better Rule than "Expediency." — Lord Erskine, 
 when at the bar, was always remarkable for the fearlessness 
 with which he contended against the bench. In a contest 
 he had with Lord Kenyon, he explained the rule and con- 
 duct at the bar in the following terms : " It was," said he, 
 " the first command and council of my youth, always to do 
 what my conscience told me to be my duty, and leave the 
 consequences to God. I have hitherto followed it, and have 
 no reason to complain that any obedience to it has been even 
 a temporal sacrifice ; I have found it, on the contrary, the 
 road to prosperity and wealth, and I shall point it out as 
 such to my children." 
 
 Do Something. — I have often had occasion to observe 
 that a warm blundering man does more for the world than a 
 frigid wise man. A man who gets into the habit of inqui- 
 ring about proprieties, and expediencies, and occasions, often 
 spends his whole life without doing anything to the purpose. 
 The state of the world is such, and so much depends on ac- 
 tion, that everything seems to say loudly to every man, " Do 
 something. Do it — do it." — Cecil. 
 
 EARLY RISING. 
 
 It cannot be denied that early rising is conducive both 
 to the health of the body and the improvement of the mind. 
 It was an observation of Swift, " that he never knew any 
 man come to greatness who Jay in bed of a morning." 
 
 P 
 
114 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Though this observation of an individual is not received 
 as a universal maxim, it is certain that some of the most 
 eminent characters which ever existed accustomed them- 
 selves to early rising. It seems, also, that people in gen- 
 eral rose earlier in former times than now. In the four- 
 teenth century the shops in Paris were opened at four in 
 the morning ; at present a shopkeeper is scarcely awake 
 at seven. The King of France dined at eight in the morn- 
 ing, and retired to his bedchamber at the same hour in the 
 evening. During the reign of Henry VIII., fashionable peo- 
 ple in England breakfasted at seven in the morning, and 
 dined at ten in the forenoon. In Elizabeth's time, the no- 
 bility, gentry, and students dined at eleven in the forenoon, 
 and supped between five and six in the afternoon. 
 
 Buffon. — Various have been the means made use of to 
 overcome the habit of sleeping long of a morning. Buffon, 
 it is said, always rose with the sun ; he often used to tell by 
 what means he had accustomed himself to rise early. "In 
 my youth," says he, " I was very fond of sleep ; it robbed 
 me of a great deal of my time ; but my poor Joseph" (his 
 domestic servant) "was of great service in enabling me to 
 overcome it. I promised to give Joseph a crown every time 
 that he could make me get up at six. Next morning he did 
 not fail to awake me, and to torment me, but he only re- 
 ceived abuse. The next day after he did the same, with no 
 better success ; and I was obliged at noon to confess that I 
 had lost my time. I told him that he did not know how to 
 manage his business ; that he ought to think of my promise, 
 and not to mind my threats. The day following he em- 
 ployed force ; I begged for indulgence, I bid him begone, 
 stormed, but Joseph persisted. I was, therefore, obliged to 
 comply, and he was rewarded every day for the abuse which 
 he suffered at the moment when I awoke, by thanks accom- 
 panied with a crown, which he received about an hour after. 
 Yes, I am indebted to poor Joseph for ten or a dozen of the 
 volumes of my works." 
 
 Frederic II. — Frederic II., king of Prussia, rose very 
 early in the morning, and, in general, allowed a very short 
 part of his time to sleep. But as age and infirmities in- 
 creased upon him, his sleep was broken and disturbed; and 
 when he fell asleep towards the morning, he frequently 
 missed his usual early hour of rising. This loss of lime, as 
 he deemed it, he bore very impatiently, and gave strict or 
 
MORAL. 115 
 
 ders to his attendants never to suffer him to sleep longer than 
 four o'clock in the morning, and to pay no attention to his 
 unwillingness to rise. One morning at the appointed time, 
 the page whose turn it was to attend him, and who had not 
 been long in his service, came to his bed and awoke him. 
 " Let me sleep but a little longer," said the monarch ; " I 
 am still much fatigued." " Your majesty has given posi- 
 tive orders I should wake you so early," replied the page. 
 " But another quarter of an hour more." " Not one minute," 
 said the page : " it has struck four ; I am ordered to insist 
 upon your majesty's rising." " Well," said the king, " you 
 are a brave lad ; had you let me sleep on, you would have 
 fared ill for your neglect." 
 
 Dean Swift. — Dean Swift says that "he never knew 
 any man to rise to eminence who lay in bed of a morning ;" 
 and Dr. Franklin, in his peculiar manner, says that " he who 
 rises late may trot all day, but never overtake his business." 
 
 Age of Early Risers. — The following is a catalogue of 
 about twenty early risers. Their age has been mentioned 
 when it was known. The average age, so far as ascertained, 
 is about seventy. 
 
 Franklin was an early riser. He died at the age of 
 eighty-four. 
 
 President Chauncey, of Harvard College, made it his con- 
 stant practice to rise at four o'clock. He died at eighty-one. 
 
 Fuseli, ihe painter, rose with or before the sun. He died 
 at eighty-one. 
 
 Wesley rose at three or four o'clock, and slept but six 
 hours. Died at eighty-eight. 
 
 BufTon, the celebrated naturalist, says he was indebted to 
 the habit of his early rising for all his knowledge, and the 
 composition of all his works. He studied fourteen hours a 
 day. Died at eighty-one. 
 
 Samuel Bard, M.D., of Hyde Park, rose at daylight in 
 summer, and an hour before in winter (say about five) 
 through life. Died at seventy-nine. 
 
 Dr. Priestley was an early riser. He died at seventy-one. 
 
 Bishop Jewel rose at four o'clock. 
 
 Parkhurst rose at five in the summer and six in the winter 
 Died at seventy-four. 
 
 Bishop Burnet commenced rising at four while at college, 
 and continued the practice through a long life. Died at 
 seventy-two. 
 
116 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Sir Matthew Hale rose at four or five. Died at sixty- 
 seven. 
 
 Dr. Adam rose at live, and for a part of the year at four 
 He died at sixty-eight. 
 
 Frederic the Great rose at three or four o'clock. 
 
 Bishop Home was an early riser. Died at sixty-two. 
 
 Walter Scott was an early riser. Died at sixty-one. 
 
 Brougham is said to rise at four. He is now about fifty- 
 eight. 
 
 Stanislaus I., of Poland, always retired at nine and rose 
 at three. Died at eighty-nine. 
 
 Alfred the Great, it is believed, rose at four. Died at 
 fifty-two. 
 
 Sir Thomas Moore, in his Utopia, represents the Uto- 
 pians as attending public lectures every morning before day- 
 break. He himself rose at four. He was beheaded at the 
 age of fifty-five. 
 
 TIME. 
 
 Economy of Time. — The celebrated Lord Coke wrote 
 the subjoined distich, which he religiously observed in the 
 oistribution of his time : 
 
 " Six hours to sleep, to law's grave study six, 
 Four spend in prayer, the rest to nature fix." 
 
 But Sir William Jones, a wiser economist of the fleeting 
 hours of life, amended the sentiment in the following lines 
 
 " Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven, 
 Ten to the world allot, and all to Heaven." 
 
 Milton has the following remarks upon misspent time : 
 " Hours have wings, and fly up to the Author of time, and 
 carry news of our usage. All our prayers cannot entreat 
 one of them either to return or slacken his pace. The mis- 
 spents of every minute is a new record against us in Heaven ; 
 sure if we thought thus, we would dismiss them with better 
 report, and not suffer them to go away empty, or laden with 
 dangerous intelligence. How happy is it that every hour 
 should convey up not only the message, but the fruits of 
 good, and stay with the Ancient of Days to speak for us be- 
 fore his glorious throne." 
 
 The Value of Time. — It was a speech of a woman la- 
 
MORAL. 117 
 
 bouring under horror of conscience, when several ministers 
 and others came to comfort her, " Call back time again ; if 
 you can call back time again, then there may be hope for 
 me ; but time is gone." 
 
 " When I look upon the tombs of the great, every emotion 
 of envy dies in me ; when I read the epitaphs of the beau- 
 tiful, every inordinate desire goes out ; when I meet with the 
 grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with com- 
 passion ; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I 
 consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must 
 quickly follow ; when I see kings lying by those who dis- 
 possessed them ; when I consider rival wits placed side by 
 side, or the holy men that divided the world by their con- 
 tests and disputes, I reflect with sorrow and astonishment 
 on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind. 
 When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that 
 died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider 
 that great day when we shall all of us be contemporaries and 
 make our appearance together." — Spectator. 
 
 Dr. C. Mather. — Dr. Cotton Mather was so careful to 
 redeem his time, that, to prevent the tediousness of visits, he 
 wrote over his study door, in capital letters, " BE SHORT." 
 
 i 
 
 Mr. Jessey. — Mr. Henry Jessey, a nonconformist min 
 ister, had the following motto put over his study door : 
 
 " Amice quisquis hue ades, 
 Aut agito paucis aut abi, 
 Aut me laborantem adjuva." 
 
 " Whatever friend comes hither, 
 Despatch in brief, or go, 
 Or help me busied too. H. J." 
 
 EXAMPLES OF BENEVOLENCE. 
 
 Archbishop Fenelon. — When Archbishop Fenelon's li- 
 brary was on fire, he was heard to say, " God be praised 
 that it is not the habitation of some poor man." 
 
 Alfred the Great. — Alfred the Great was a prince of 
 the most amiable and benevolent disposition. When in 
 very low circumstances, by reason of his retreat from his 
 enemies, a beggar came to his little castle and requested 
 alms. The queen informed him that they had but one small 
 
118 ANECDOTES. 
 
 loaf remaining, which was insufficient for themselves and 
 their friends, who were gone in quest of food, though with 
 but little hope of success. The king replied, " Give the poor 
 Christian one half of the loaf. He that could feed five 
 thousand with five loaves and two fishes can certainly make 
 that half loaf suffice for more than our necessity." King 
 Alfred's people soon returned with plenty of provision ! 
 How true are the words of the wise man : " There is that 
 scattereth, and yet increaseth." 
 
 King of Prussia. — The King of Prussia once rang the 
 bell of his cabinet, but, as nobody answered, he opened the 
 door of the antechamber, and found his page fast asleep upon 
 a chair. He went up to awake him ; but, on coming nearer, 
 he observed a paper in his pocket upon which something was 
 written. This excited his curiosity. He pulled it out, and 
 found that it was a letter from the page's mother, the con- 
 tents of which were nearly as follows : " She returned her 
 son many thanks for the money he had saved out of his sal- 
 ary and sent to her, which had proved a very timely assist- 
 ance. God would certainly reward him for it, and, if he con- 
 tinued to serve God and his king faithfully and conscien- 
 tiously, he would not fail of success and prosperity in this 
 world." Upon reading this the king stepped softly into his 
 closet, fetched a rouleau of ducats, and put it, with the let- 
 ter, into the page's pocket. He then rang so long till the 
 page awoke, and came into his closet. " You have been 
 asleep, I suppose ?" said the king. The page could not deny 
 it, stammered out an excuse, put (in his embarrassment) his 
 hand into his pocket, and felt the rouleau of ducats. He 
 immediately pulled it out, turned pale, and looked at the 
 king with tears in his eyes. " What is the matter with you ?" 
 said the king. " Oh," replied the page, " somebody has con- 
 trived my ruin: I know nothing of this money." "What 
 God bestows," resumed the king, " he bestows in sleep.* 
 Send the money to your mother: give my respects to her, 
 and inform her that I will take care both of her and you." 
 
 Dr. Crow. — Dr. Crow, chaplain to Bishop Gibson, be- 
 queathed him two thousand five hundred pounds; but the 
 bishop, understanding the doctor had left some poor rela- 
 tions, nobly resigned the whole legacy in their favour. 
 
 The worthy Mr. Thornton, of Clapham, it is said, ex- 
 oended annually two thousand pounds in the distribution of 
 
 * A German proverb. 
 
MORAL. 119 
 
 religious books only, and his charities reached to the re- 
 motest part of the globe. John Baptist Joseph Languet, 
 vicar of St. Sulpice at Paris, sometimes disbursed the sum 
 of a million of livres in charities in a single year. When 
 there was a general dearth in 1725, he sold, in order to re- 
 lieve the poor, his household goods, his pictures, and some 
 curious pieces of furniture that he had procured with great 
 difficulty. 
 
 Safe Investment. — A wealthy merchant having lost by 
 one shipwreck to the value of one thousand five hundred 
 pounds, ordered his clerk to distribute one hundred pounds 
 among poor ministers and people ; adding, that if his for- 
 tune was going by one thousand five hundred pounds at a 
 lump, it was high time to make sure of some part before it 
 was gone. 
 
 Doctor Samuel Wright. — Of Doctor Samuel Wright it 
 is said, that his charity was conducted upon rule ; for which 
 purpose he kept a purse, in which was found this memoran- 
 dum : " Something from all the money I receive to be put 
 into this purse for charitable uses. From my salary as min- 
 ister, which is uncertain, a tenth part; from occasional and 
 extraordinary gifts, which are more uncertain, a twentieth 
 part; from copy money of things I print, and interest of my 
 estate, a seventh part." 
 
 Where it should be. — When a gentleman who had been 
 accustomed to give away some thousands was supposed to 
 be at the point of death, his presumptive heir inquired where 
 his fortune was to be found. To whom he answered, " that 
 it was in the pockets of the indigent." 
 
 As it should be. — When a collection was made in Wales 
 for the Bible Society, we are told a poor servant-maid put 
 down one guinea on the plate, being one third of her wages. 
 That it might not be perceived what she put down, she cov- 
 ered the guinea with a halfpenny. 
 
 Washington. — One Reuben Rouzy, of Virginia, owed 
 the general about one thousand pounds. While President 
 of the United States, one of his agents brought an action for 
 the money ; judgment was obtained, and execution issued 
 against the body of the defendant, who was taken to jail. 
 He had a considerable landed estate, but this kind of prop- 
 
120 ANECDOTES. 
 
 erty cannot be sold in Virginia for debts unless at the dis- 
 cretion of the person. He had a large family, and for the 
 sake of his children preferred lying in jail to selling his land. 
 A friend hinted to him that probably General Washington 
 did not know anything of the proceeding, and that it might 
 be well to send him a petition, with a statement of the cir- 
 cumstances. He did so, and the very next post from Phil- 
 adelphia after the arrival of his petition in that city brought 
 him an order for his immediate release, together with a full 
 discharge, and a severe reprimand to the agent for having 
 acted in such a manner. Poor Rouzy was, in consequence, 
 restored to his family, who never laid down their heads at 
 night without presenting prayers to Heaven for their " be- 
 loved Washington." Providence smiled upon the labours of 
 the grateful family, and in a few years Rouzy enjoyed the 
 exquisite pleasure of being able to lay the one thousand 
 pounds, with the interest, at the feet of this truly great man. 
 Washington reminded him that the debt was discharged ; 
 Rouzy replied, the debt of his family to the father of their 
 country and preserver of their parent could never be dis- 
 charged ; and the general, to avoid the pleasing importunity 
 of the grateful Virginian, who would not be denied, accepted 
 the money, only, however, to divide it among Rouzy's chil- 
 dren, which he immediately did. 
 
 Charitable Pastor. — A Parisian, paying a visit to a 
 curate in the middle of winter, remarked that he was living 
 in a house with naked walls, and inquired why he had not 
 got hangings to protect him from the rigour of the cold. 
 The good pastor showed him two little children that he had 
 taken care of, and replied, " I had rather clothe these poor 
 children than my walls." 
 
 Isle of Man. — It is a proverb among the hospitable in- 
 habitants of the Isle of Man, that " when one poor man re- 
 lieves another, God himself laughs for joy." Poor rates 
 and most other parochial rates are unknown ; and there 
 is not in the whole island either hospital, workhouse, or 
 house of correction, though in every parish there is at least 
 one charity-school, and often a small library. A collection 
 is made, as in Scotland, after the morning service of every 
 Sunday, for the relief of such poor of the parish as are 
 thought deserving of charity. The donation is optional, but 
 it is usual for every one to give something. 
 
MORAL. 121 
 
 Example for Physicians — Dr. Brocklesby was so as- 
 siduous in being useful to his fellow-creatures, that he was 
 equally acceptable to the poor and the rich. When some 
 of the former, through delicacy, did not apply to him, he 
 would exclaim, " Why am I treated thus ? Why was I not 
 sent for ?" 
 
 John Howard. — It would be injustice here to omit the 
 name of that great philanthropist, Mr. John Howard, who, 
 after inspecting the receptacles of crime, of poverty, and of 
 misery throughout Great Britain and Ireland, left his native 
 country, relinquished his own ease, to visit the wretched 
 abodes of those who were in want and bound in fetters of 
 iron in other parts of the world. He travelled three times 
 through France, four through Germany, five through Hol- 
 land, twice through Italy, once through Spain and Portugal, 
 and also through Denmark, Sweden, Russia, and part of 
 Turkey. These excursions occupied (with some short in- 
 tervals of rest at home) the period of twelve years. 
 
 Never before was such a considerable portion of the life 
 of man applied to a more benevolent and laudable purpose 
 He gave up his own comfort that he might bestow it upon 
 others. He was often immured in prison that others might 
 be set at liberty. He exposed himself to danger that he 
 might free others from it. He visited the gloomy cell that 
 he might inspire a ray of hope and joy in the breasts of the 
 wretched. Yea, he not only lived, but died in the noble 
 cause of benevolence ; for in visiting a young lady who lay 
 dangerously ill of an epidemic fever, in order to administer 
 relief, he caught the distemper, and fell a victim to his hu- 
 manity, January 20, 1790. 
 
 Mr. Howard's worth seems to be appreciated by two or 
 three singular circumstances. The first was, that a liberal 
 subscription was opened to defray the expenses of erecting a 
 statue to his honour, while yet alive, and the sum of 1533/. 
 135. 6d. was actually subscribed. But the principles of 
 Howard were abhorrent from ostentation ; and when he heard 
 of it, " Have not I," said he, " one friend in England who 
 would put a stop to such a proceeding ?" The business was 
 accordingly dropped. Another circumstance was, that his 
 death was announced in the London Gazette, a compliment 
 which no private subject ever received before. And a third 
 circumstance deserves to be noticed, that, though a Dissent- 
 er, a monument was erected to his memory in St. Paul's 
 Cathedral. The inscription tells us with truth " That he 
 
 Q 6 
 
122 ANECDOTES. 
 
 trod an open but unfrequented path to immortality, in the 
 ardent and unremitted exercise of Christian charity." And 
 concludes, " May this tribute to his fame excite an emula- 
 tion of his truly honourable actions." 
 
 Mr. Burke justly observed of this great man, " that he 
 visited all Europe (and the East), not to survey the sumptu- 
 ousness of palaces or the stateliness of temples ; not to 
 make accurate measurements of the remains of ancient gran- 
 deur, nor to form a scale of the curiosity of modern art ; not 
 to collect medals or to collate manuscripts ; but to dive into 
 the depths of dungeons ; to plunge into the infection of hos- 
 pitals ; to survey the mansions of sorrow and of pain ; to take 
 the gauge and dimensions of misery, depression, and con- 
 tempt ; to remember the forgotten ; to attend to the neg- 
 lected ; to visit the forsaken ; and to compare and collate 
 the distresses of all men and in all countries. His plan is 
 original, and it is as full of genius as it is of humanity. It 
 is a voyage of discovery, a circumnavigation of charity ; and 
 already the benefit of his labour is felt more or less in every 
 country." 
 
 Kosciusko. — The hero of Poland once wished to send 
 some bottles of good wine to a clergyman at Soluthurn ; and 
 as he hesitated to trust them by his servant, lest he should 
 smuggle a part, he gave the commission to a young man of 
 the name of Zeltner, and desired him to take the horse 
 which he himself usually rode. On his return, young Zelt- 
 ner said that he never would ride his horse again unless he 
 gave him his purse at the same time. Kosciusko inquiring 
 what he meant, he answered, "As soon as a poor man on the 
 road takes of his hat and asks charity, the horse immediately 
 stands still, and will not stir till something is given to the 
 petitioner; and as I had no money about me, I was obliged 
 to feign giving something in order to satisfy the horse." 
 
 African Sympathy. — A poor negro, walking towards 
 Deptford, saw by the roadside an old sailor of different com- 
 plexion, with but one arm and two wooden legs. The 
 worthy African immediately took three halfpence and a far- 
 thing, his little all, from the side pocket of his tattered trou- 
 sers, and forced them into the sailor's hand, while he wiped 
 the tears from his eye with the corner of his blue patched 
 jacket, and then walked away quite happy. 
 
 Feeling. — A plain, good-hearted, matter-of-fact kind of 
 
MORAL. 123 
 
 man, who understood that a poor woman and her family 
 were reduced to extreme distress by the loss of a cow, which 
 was their principal support, generously went round among 
 his neighbours to solicit that aid which he was unable to give 
 himself. He told a plain, simple, and pathetic tale, and re- 
 ceived from each a very liberal donation of regret, sorrow, 
 sympathy, &c. But, thought he, this will not buy a cow, 
 and he consequently redoubled his exertions, and to the 
 same effect. He now lost all patience, and after being an- 
 swered as usual by a real son of Midas, with a plentiful 
 shower of sympathetic feeling, " Oho, yes, I don't doubt 
 your feeling, but you don't feel in the right place." " Oh," 
 said the tender-hearted Croesus, " I feel with all my heart 
 and soul." " Yes, yes," replied he, " I don't doubt that 
 neither, but I want you to feel in your pocket." 
 
 Importance of Doing Quickly. — The benevolent Dr. 
 Wilson once discovered a clergyman at Bath, who, he was 
 informed, was sick, poor, and had a numerous family. In 
 the evening he gave a friend fifty pounds, requesting him to 
 deliver it in the most delicate manner, and as from an un- 
 known person. The friend replied, " I will wait upon him 
 in the morning." " You will oblige me by calling directly. 
 Think, sir, of what importance a good night's rest may be 
 to that poor man." 
 
 From the Christian Advocate and Journal. 
 
 Mr. Editor — When in Leeds, England, Rev. Robert 
 Newton presented to Mrs. Fisk a small bust of Rev. John 
 Wesley, said to be a perfect likeness of him at the time it 
 was taken. A friend, in addition, procured for us the ac- 
 companying account of the circumstances and the occasion 
 in which it is said the original of this likeness was taken. 
 As the whole is very interesting and characteristic, I have 
 herewith forwarded it for publication. If you think well of 
 it, please to insert it in the Christian Advocate and Journal. 
 
 W. Fisk. 
 
 Wesley an University, June 21. 
 
 Anecdote of Rev. John Wesley. — Mr. Dudley was one 
 evening taking tea with that eminent artist, Mr. Culy, when 
 he asked him whether he had seen his gallery of busts. 
 Mr. Dudley answering in the negative, and expressing a wish 
 to be gratified with a sight of it, Mr. Culy conducted him 
 thither, and after admiring the busts of the several great men 
 
l24 ANECDOTES. 
 
 of the day, he came to one which particularly attracted his 
 notice, and on inquiry found it was the likeness of the Rev. 
 John Wesley. " This bust," said Mr. Culy, " struck Lord 
 Shelbourne in the same manner it does you, and there is a 
 remarkable fact connected with it, which, as I know you are 
 fond of anecdote, I will relate to you precisely in the same 
 manner and words that I did to him." On returning to the 
 parlour, Mr. Culy commenced accordingly : "lama very 
 old man ; you must excuse my little failings ; and, as I before 
 observed, hear it in the very words I repeated it to his lord- 
 ship. • My lord,' said I, ' perhaps you have heard of John 
 Wesley, the founder of the Methodists ?' ' Oh, yes,' he 
 replied; 'he — that race of fanatics /' 'Well, my lord; 
 Mr. Wesley had often been urged to have his picture taken, 
 but he always refused, alleging as a reason that he thought 
 it nothing but vanity ; indeed, so frequently had he been 
 pressed on this point, that his friends were reluctantly com- 
 pelled to give up the idea. One day he called on me on the 
 business of our church. I began the old subject of entreat- 
 ing him to allow me to take off his likeness. " Well," said 
 I, " knowing you value money for the means of doing good, if 
 you will grant my request, I will engage to give you ten 
 guineas for the first ten minutes that you sit, and for every 
 minute that exceeds that time you shall receive a guinea." 
 ' What !' said Mr. Wesley, ' do I understand you aright, 
 that you will give me ten guineas for having my picture 
 taken ! Well, I agree to it.' He then stripped off his 
 coat, and lay on the sofa, and in eight minutes I had the most 
 perfect bust I had ever taken. He then washed his face, 
 and I counted to him ten guineas into his hand. 'Well,' 
 said he, turning to his companion, 'I never till now earned 
 money so speedily; but what shall we do with it?' They 
 then wished me a good-morning, and proceeded over West- 
 minster Bridge. The first object that presented itself to 
 their view was a poor woman crying bitterly, with three 
 children hanging round her, each sobbing, though apparently 
 too young to understand their mother's grief. On inquiring 
 the cause of her distress, Mr. Wesley learned that the cred- 
 itors of her husband were dragging him to prison, after hav- 
 ing sold their effects, which were inadequate to pay the debt 
 by eighteen shillings, which the creditors declared should be 
 paid. One guinea made her happy ! They then proceeded 
 on, followed by the blessings of the now happy mother. 
 On Mr. Wesley's inquiring of Mr. Barton, his friend, where 
 their charity was most needed, he replied he knew of no 
 
MORAL. 125 
 
 place where his money would be more acceptable than in 
 Giltspur-street Compter. They accordingly repaired thither, 
 and on asking the turnkey to point out the most miserable 
 object under his care, he answered, if they were come in 
 search of poverty, they need not go far. The first ward 
 they entered they were struck with the appearance of a poor 
 wretch who was greedily eating some potato skins. On 
 being questioned, he informed them that he had been in that 
 situation, supported by the casual alms of compassionate 
 strangers, for several months, without any hope of release, 
 and that he was confined for the debt of half a guinea. On 
 hearing this, Mr. Wesley gave him a guinea, which he re- 
 ceived with the utmost gratitude, and he had the pleasure of 
 seeing him liberated with half a guinea in his pocket. The 
 poor man, on leaving his place of confinement, said, ' Gen- 
 tlemen, as you come here in search of poverty, pray go up 
 stairs, if it be not too late.' They instantly proceeded 
 thither, and beheld a sight which called forth all their com- 
 passion. On a low stool, with his back towards them, sat a 
 man, or rather a skeleton, for he was literally nothing but skin 
 and bone; his hand supported his head, and his eyes seemed 
 to be riveted to the opposite corner of the chamber, where 
 lay stretched out on a pallet of straw a young woman, in the 
 last stage of consumption, apparently lifeless, with an infant 
 by her side, which was quite dead. Mr. Wesley imme- 
 diately sent for medical assistance, but it was too late for 
 the unfortunate female, who expired a few hours afterward 
 from starvation, as the doctor declared. You may imagine, 
 my lord, that the remaining eight guineas would not go far 
 in aiding such distress as this. No expense was spared for 
 the relief of the now only surviving sufferer. But so ex- 
 treme was the weakness to which he was reduced, that six 
 weeks elapsed before he could speak sufficiently to relate 
 his own history. It appeared that he had been a reputable 
 merchant, and had married a beautiful young lady, eminently 
 accomplished, whom he almost idolized. They lived hap- 
 pily together for some time, until, by failure of a speculation 
 in which his whole property was embarked, he was com- 
 pletely ruined. No sooner did he become acquainted with 
 his misfortune than he called all his creditors together, and 
 laid before them the state of his affairs, showing them his 
 books, which were in the most perfect order. They all wil- 
 lingly signed the dividend except the lawyer, who owed his 
 rise in the world to this merchant ; the sum was two hun- 
 dred and fifty pounds, for which he obstinately declared he 
 
126 ANECDOiES. 
 
 should be sent to jail. It was in vain the creditors urged 
 him to pity his forlorn condition, and to consider his great 
 respectability ; that feeling was a stranger to his breast, and, 
 in spite of all their remonstrances, he was hurried away to 
 prison, followed by his weeping wife. As she was very ac- 
 complished, she continued to maintain herself and her hus- 
 band for some time solely by the use of her pencil in paint- 
 ing small ornaments on cards ; and thus they managed to 
 put a little aside for the time of her confinement. But so 
 long an illness succeeded this event, that she was completely 
 incapacitated from exerting herself for their subsistence, and 
 their scanty savings were soon expended by procuring the 
 necessaries which her situation then required. They were 
 driven to pawn their clothes, and their resources failing, they 
 found themselves at last reduced to absolute starvation. 
 The poor infant had just expired from want, and the hapless 
 mother was about to follow it to the grave when Mr. Wes- 
 ley and his friend entered; and, as I before said, the hus- 
 band was so reduced from the same cause, that, without the 
 utmost care, he must have fallen a sacrifice ; and as Mr. 
 Wesley, who was not for doing things by halves, had ac- 
 quainted himself with this case of extreme misery, he went 
 to the creditors and informed them of it. They were be- 
 yond measure astonished to learn what he had to name to 
 them ; for so long a time had elapsed without hearing any- 
 thing of the merchant or his family, some supposed him to 
 be dead, and others that he had left the country. Among 
 the rest he called on the lawyer, and painted to him, in the 
 most glowing colours, the wretchedness he had beheld, and 
 which he (the lawyer) had been instrumental in causing ; 
 but even this could not move him to compassion. He de- 
 clared the merchant should not leave the prison without pay- 
 ing him every farthing ! Mr. Wesley repeated his visit to 
 the other creditors, who, considering the case of the sufferer, 
 agreed to raise the sum and release him. Some gave one 
 hundred pounds, others two hundred pounds, and another 
 three hundred pounds. The affairs of the merchant took a 
 different turn : God seemed to prosper him, and in the sec- 
 ond year he called his creditors together, thanked them for 
 their kindness, and paid the sum so generously obtained 
 Success continuing to attend him, he was enabled to pay all 
 his debts, and afterward realized considerable property. 
 His afflictions made such a deep impression upon his mind, 
 that he determined to remove the possibility of others suffer- 
 ing from the same cause, and for this purpose advanced a 
 
MORAL. 127 
 
 considerable sum as a foundation fund for the relief of small 
 debtors. And the very first person who partook of the 
 same was the inexorable lawyer /" 
 
 This remarkable fact so entirely convinced Lord Shel- 
 bourne of the mistaken opinion he had formed of Mr. Wes- 
 ley, that he immediately ordered a dozen of busts to em- 
 bellish the grounds of his beautiful residence 
 
 The Choice. — A Quaker, residing at Paris, was waited 
 on by four of his workmen in order to make their compli- 
 ments and ask for their usual Newyear's gifts. " Well, my 
 friends," said the Quaker, " here are your gifts ; choose fif- 
 teen francs or the Bible." "I don't know how to read," 
 said the first, " so I take the fifteen francs." " I can read," 
 said the second, " but I have pressing wants." He took the 
 fifteen francs. The third also made the same choice. He 
 now came to the fourth, a young lad of about thirteen or 
 fourteen. The Quaker looked at him with an air of good 
 ness. " Will you, too, take these three pieces, which you 
 may obtain at any time by your labour and industry ?" " As 
 you say the book is good, I will take it and read from it to 
 my mother," replied the boy. He took the Bible, opened 
 it, and found between the leaves a gold piece of forty francs. 
 The others hung down their heads, and the Quaker told 
 them he was sorry they had not made a better choice. 
 
 The Elgin Family. — Lord Kaimes relates a pleasing an- 
 ecdote of two boys, the sons of the Earl of Elgin, who were 
 permitted by their father to associate with the poor boys in 
 the neighbourhood. One day the earl's sons being called to 
 dinner, a lad who was playing with them said that he would 
 wait till they returned. " There is no dinner for me at 
 home," said the poor boy. " Come with us, then," said the 
 earl's sons. The boy refused, and when they asked him if 
 he had any money to buy dinner, he answered, " No !" 
 When the young gentlemen got home, the eldest of them 
 said to his father, "Papa, what was the price of the silver 
 buckles you gave me ?" " Five shillings," was the reply 
 "Let me have the money and I'll give you the buckles 
 again." It was done accordingly ; and the earl, inquiring pri- 
 vately, found that the money was given to the lad who had 
 no dinner. 
 
128 ANECDOTES. 
 
 PHILOSOPHY. 
 
 It was Cicero's just censure of Homer, that whereas he 
 should have raised earth to heaven by instructing men to 
 live according to the purity of the gods, he forced down 
 heaven to earth, and represented the gods to live like men in 
 this region of impurity. It is the highest glory of man to 
 be made the image of God in moral excellences ; and it is 
 the vilest contumely to God to fashion him according to the 
 image of man's vicious affections. 
 
 Pythagoras. — " Let not sleep," says Pythagoras, " fall 
 upon thy eyes till thou hast thrice reviewed the transactions 
 of the past day : Where have I turned aside from rectitude ? 
 What have I been doing ? What have I left undone which 
 I ought to have done ? Begin thus from the first act, and 
 proceed ; and in conclusion, at the ill which thou hast done, 
 be troubled, and rejoice for the good." 
 
 Saadi, the Persian author of the work called Gulistan, 
 tells a story of three sages, a Greek, an Indian, and a Per- 
 sian, who, in the presence of a king of Persia, debated on 
 this question : " Of all evils, which is the greatest ?" The 
 Grecian said, " old age oppressed with poverty ;" the Indian 
 answered, " pain with impatience ;" the Persian pronounced 
 it to be " death, without good works before it." 
 
 A fair Disciple of Pythagoras. — Saint Ambrose, in his 
 elaborate and pious treatise on Christian fortitude, records 
 the resolution of a fair disciple of Pythagoras, who, being 
 severely urged by a tyrant to reveal the secrets of her sect, 
 to convince him that no torments should reduce her to so 
 unworthy a breach of her vow, bit her own tongue asunder, 
 and darted it in the face of her oppressor. 
 
 Newton and the Shepherd Boy. — This illustrious phi- 
 losopher was once riding over Salisbury plain, when a boy 
 keeping sheep called to him, " Sir, you had better make 
 haste on, or you will get a wet jacket." Newton, looking 
 around, and observing neither clouds nor a speck on the 
 horizon, jogged on, taking very little notice of the rustic's in- 
 formation. He had made but a few miles, when a storm, 
 suddenly arising, wet him to the skin. Surprised at the cir- 
 cumstance, and determined, if possible, to ascertain how an 
 
MORAL. 129 
 
 ignorant boy had attained a precision and knowledge in the 
 weather, of which the wisest philosopher would be proud, 
 he rode back, wet as he was. " My lad," said Newton, " I'll 
 give thee a guinea if thou wilt tell me how thou canst fore- 
 tell the weather so truly." "Will ye, sir? I will, then," 
 said the boy, scratching his head, and holding out his hand 
 for the guinea. "Now, sir" (having received the money, 
 and pointing to the sheep), " when you see that black ram 
 turn his tail towards the wind, 'tis a sure sign of rain within 
 an hour." " What !" exclaimed the philosopher, " must I, 
 in order to foretell the weather, stay here and watch which 
 way that black ram turns his tail ?" " Yes, sir." Off rode 
 Newton, quite satisfied with his discovery, but not much in- 
 clined to avail himself of it or to recommend it to others. 
 
 FORTITUDE. 
 
 Anaxarchus was a philosopher of Abdera, one of the fol- 
 lowers of Democritus, and the friend of Alexander. When 
 that monarch had been wounded in a battle, the philosopher 
 pointed to the wound, adding that it was human blood, not 
 the blood of a god. The freedom of Anaxarchus offended 
 Nicrocreon, and, after Alexander's death, the tyrant, in re- 
 venge, seized the philosopher and pounded him in a stone 
 mortar with iron hammers. He bore this with much resig- 
 nation, and exclaimed, " Pound the body of Anaxarchus, for 
 thou dost not pound his soul !" Upon this Nicrocreon 
 threatened to cut out his tongue, when Anaxarchus bit it 
 off with his teeth and spat it into the tyrant's face. 
 
 Sir Thomas More. — Sir Thomas More, some time Lord- 
 chancellor of England, fell into disgrace with his sovereign 
 and was committed to the Tower : on which occasion the 
 lieutenant of the Tower made an apology for the diet, lodg- 
 ing, and accommodations, as unsuitable to the dignity of so 
 great a man. "No apology, sir," replied the courtly pris- 
 oner ; " I don't question but I shall like your accommoda- 
 tions very well ; and, if you once hear me complain, I give 
 you free leave to turn me out of doors." 
 
 Spart.ans. — When a handful of Spartans undertook to 
 defend the pass of Thermopylae against the whole army of 
 Persia, so prodigious, it was reported, were the multitudes 
 
 R 
 
130 ANECDOTES. 
 
 of the Persians, that the very flight of their arrows would 
 intercept the shining of the sun. m " Then," said Dieneces, 
 one of the Spartan leaders, " we shall have the advantage 
 of fighting in the shade." 
 
 Just before the battle of Agincourt, news was brought to 
 King Henry's camp that the French were exceedingly nu- 
 merous ; that they would bring into the field more than six 
 times the number of the English troops ; to which the brave 
 Captain Gam immediately replied, " Is it so ? Then there 
 are enough to be cut in pieces, enough to be made prisoners, 
 and enough to run away." 
 
 Ignorance of Fear. — A child of one of the crew of his 
 majesty's ship Peacock, during the action with the United 
 States' vessel Hornet, amused himself with chasing a goal 
 between decks. Not in the least terrified by the destruction 
 and death all around him, he persisted till a cannon ball 
 came and took off both the hind legs of the goat ; when, 
 seeing her disabled, he jumped astride her, crying, " Now 
 I've caught you." This singular anecdote is related in a 
 work called " Visits of Mercy, being the Second Journal of 
 the Stated Preacher to the Hospital and Almshouse in the 
 city of New-York, by the Rev. E. S. Ely." 
 
 Why should I Fear ? — A chief of the Creek Indians, 
 having been appointed to negotiate a treaty of peace with 
 the citizens of South Carolina, and having met the proper 
 authorities for that purpose, was desired by the governor to 
 speak his mind freely and without reserve ; for, as he was 
 among his friends, he need not be " afraid." " I will," said 
 he, " speak freely ; I will not be afraid. Why should I be 
 afraid among my friends, who am never afraid among my 
 enemies ?" 
 
 John Knox. — The pure, heart-searching doctrines winch 
 were preached by this Scotch apostle were then, as they are 
 now, offensive to the carnal heart, and hence he was com- 
 manded by the voluptuous court of Mary to desist. Knox, 
 who knew no master and obeyed no mandate that was in 
 opposition to his God and his Bible, paid no attention to 
 this command of the palace. Hearing immediately from the 
 enemies of the cross, who were then, as I fear they are at 
 present, the favourites and friends of the palace, that her 
 orders were disobeyed, the haughty Mary summoned the 
 
MORAL. 131 
 
 Scottish reformer into her presence. When Knox arrived 
 he was ushered into the room in which were the queen and 
 her attendant lords. On being questioned concerning his 
 contumacy, he answered plainly that he preached nothing 
 but truth, and that he dared not preach less. " But," an- 
 swered one of the lords, " our commands must be obeyed on 
 pain of death ; silence or the gallows is the alternative." 
 The spirit of Knox was roused by the dastardly insinuation 
 that any human punishment could make him desert the ban- 
 ner of his Saviour, and with that fearless, indescribable 
 courage which disdains the pomp of language or of action, 
 he firmly replied, "My lords, you are mistaken if you think 
 you can intimidate me to do by threats what conscience and 
 God tell me I never shall do ; for be it known unto you that 
 it is a matter of no importance to me, when I have finished 
 my work, whether my bones shall bleach in the winds of 
 heaven or rot in the bosom of the earth." Knox having re- 
 tired, one of the lords said to the queen, " We may let him 
 alone, for we cannot punish that man." Well, therefore, 
 might it be said by a nobleman at the grave of John Knox, 
 " Here lies one who never feared the face of man." 
 
 Female Fortitude, and the Persecutor Disappoint- 
 ed. — A pious woman used to say she would never want, be- 
 cause her God would supply her every need. In a time of 
 persecution she was taken before an unjust judge for attend- 
 ing a conventicle, as they styled her offence. The judge, 
 on seeing her, rejoiced over her, and tauntingly said, " I have 
 often wished to have you in my power, and now I shall send 
 you to prison, and then how will you be fed ?" She replied, 
 " If it be my heavenly Father's pleasure, I shall be fed from 
 your table," and that was literally the case ; for the judge's 
 wife, being present at her examination, and being greatly 
 struck with the good woman's firmness, took care to send 
 her victuals from her table, so that she was comfortably sup- 
 plied all the while she was in confinement ; and in this she 
 found her reward, for the Lord was pleased to work on her 
 soul to her real conversion. 
 
 PROFANE SWEARING. 
 
 At the time when the Conformity Bill was debated in 
 Parliament, Mr. Howe passed a noble lord in a chair in St. 
 
132 ANECDOTES. 
 
 James's Park, who sent his footman to call him, desiring to 
 speak with him on this subject. In the conversation, speak- 
 ing of the opponents of the dissenters, he said, " D — n these 
 wretches, for they are mad." Mr. Howe, who was no 
 stranger to the nobleman, expressed great satisfaction in the 
 thought that there is a God who governs the world, who will 
 finally make retribution to all according to their present 
 characters ; " And he, my lord, has declared he will make 
 a difference between him that sweareth and him that feareth 
 an oath." The nobleman was struck with the hint, and said, 
 " I thank you, sir, for your freedom. I take your meaning, 
 and shall endeavour to make a good use of it." Mr. Howe 
 replied, "My lord, I have more reason to thank your lord- 
 ship for saving me the most difficult part of a discourse, which 
 is the application." 
 
 An elector of Cologne (who was likewise an archbishop) 
 one day swearing profanely, asked a peasant, who seemed 
 to wonder, what he was so surprised at. " To hear an arch- 
 bishop swear," answered the peasant. " I swear," replied 
 the elector, " not as an archbishop,, but as a prince." " But, 
 my lord," said the peasant, " when the prince goes to the 
 devil, what will become of the archbishop ?" 
 
 Swearing Rebuked. — The learned and pious Dr. Desa- 
 guliers being on one occasion in the company of a number 
 of persons of the first rank, a gentleman of the party, who 
 was unhappily addicted to swearing, at every oath he uttered 
 kept asking the doctor's pardon. The doctor bore this levity 
 for some time with great patience ; at length he was obliged 
 to silence the swearer with this fine rebuke : " Sir, you have 
 taken some pains to render me ridiculous, if possible, by 
 your pointed apologies ; now, sir, I must tell you, if God 
 Almighty does not hear you, I assure you I will never tell 
 him." 
 
 Mr. Scott. — " The story is well known," says Mr. Scott, 
 " of the person who invited a company of his friends that 
 were accustomed to take the Lord's name in vain, and con- 
 trived to have all their discourse taken down and read to 
 them. Now, if they could not endure to hear the words re- 
 peated which they had spoken during a few hours, how shall 
 they bear to have all that they have uttered through a long 
 course of years brought forth as evidence against them at 
 the tribunal of God ?" 
 
MORAL 133 
 
 Swearing Rebuked by Washington. — The following is 
 given in a note, as an extract from the orderly-book, August 3. 
 
 " That the troops may have an opportunity of attending 
 public worship, as well as to take some rest after the great 
 fatigue they have gone through, the general in future ex- 
 cuses them from fatigue-duty on Sundays, except at the 
 shipyards or on special occasions, until farther orders. The 
 general is sorry to be informed that the wicked and foolish 
 practice of profane cursing and swearing, a vice heretofore 
 little known in the American army, is growing into fashion. 
 He hopes the officers will, by example as well as influence, 
 endeavour to check it, and that both they and the men will 
 reflect that we can have little hope of the blessing of Heaven 
 on our arms if we insult it by our impiety and folly. Added 
 to this, it is a vice so mean and low, without any temptation, 
 that every man of sense and character detests and despises it." 
 
 Howard's Opinion of Swearers. — As he was standing 
 one day near the door of a printing-office, he heard some 
 dreadful volleys of oaths and curses from a public house 
 opposite, and buttoning his pocket up before he went into 
 the street, he said to the workmen near him, " I always do 
 this whenever I hear men swear, as I think that any one who 
 can take God's name in vain ran also steal, or do anything 
 else that is bad." 
 
 CHARACTERISTICS OF AMERICANS. 
 
 Hancock and Franklin. — " We must be unanimous," 
 observed Hancock on the occasion of signing the Declara- 
 tion of Independence ; " there must be no pulling different 
 ways ; we must all hang together." " Yes," added Franklin, 
 " we must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all 
 hang separately." 
 
 Cause of Last War. — The following anecdote is taken 
 from a speech of Alvin Stewart, Esq., on Human Rights, in 
 New- York City, 1838. " We once had six hundred and forty 
 (thousand ? no, six hundred and forty men) impressed by the 
 British on board their men-of-war. And the whole nation 
 cried ' To arms/ Probably many of these men were in 
 fact English. They were none of them in the bonds of ir- 
 responsible power. They were always under the protecting 
 
134 ANECDOTES. 
 
 care of British law ; and British humanity looked on and 
 stood ready to procure redress if they were used with cruelty. 
 But the nation would not have even six hundred and forty 
 citizens deprived of their liberty and compelled against their 
 own free choice to serve a foreign power. And not less than 
 twenty thousand lives were lost, and a hundred and thirty 
 millions of money expended ; and it was thought to be all 
 proper, for the defence of human rights. Those of this as- 
 sembly who were then on the stage of action will remember 
 when the array of arms, the long line of death stretched 
 from Chicago to Castine, and the whole nation was arranged 
 to fight for those six hundred and forty seamen, whose only 
 injury was in doing duty against their will on board of British 
 ships." 
 
 American Rustic Hospitality. — Returning from a dis- 
 tant excursion, I was overtaken by the night, and found my 
 path obstructed by a deep inlet from the river, which, being 
 choked with logs and brush, could not be crossed by swim- 
 ming. Observing a house on the opposite side, I called for 
 assistance. A half-naked, ill-looking fellow came down, 
 and after dragging a canoe round from the river, with some 
 trouble ferried me over, and I followed him to his habitation, 
 near to which our boat was moored for the night. His cabin 
 was of the meanest kind, consisting of a single apartment, 
 constructed of logs, which contained a family of seven or 
 eight souls, and everything seemed to designate him as a 
 new and unthrifty settler. After drinking a bowl of milk, 
 which I really called for by way of excuse for paying him 
 a little more for his trouble, I asked to know his charge for 
 ferrying me over the water, to which he good-humouredly 
 replied that he "never took money for helping a traveller 
 on his way." "Then let me pay you for your milk." "I 
 never sell milk." " But," said I, urging him, " I would rather 
 pay you; I have money enough." " Well," said he, " I have 
 milk enough, so we're even ; I have as good a right to give 
 you milk as you have to give me money.' 
 
 The right of petition, and duty of Congress to hear, is 
 forcibly illustrated in the following anecdotes. 
 
 On Petitioning. — There was a man who lost a horse 
 during the revolutionary war, and he undertook to get paid 
 for it out of the United States' treasury ; so he petitioned 
 and petitioned as long as he lived, and after his death his 
 widow petitioned from year to year, and all their petitions 
 
MORAL. 135 
 
 were received, and read, and referred, and considered, and 
 reported on, and after many years they got their money. 
 
 There was a man who lost a slave's limb in the last war 
 by exposure around the ramparts of cotton bags at New-Or- 
 leans. This man -petitioned, not for the slave, but for the 
 mere portion of a slave, and his petition was received, read, 
 referred, reported on, debated, and finally decided by the 
 united wisdom of that august assembly. 
 
 General C. C. Pinckney. — In 1794, his firm opposition 
 to the arrogance of the French Directory, demanding tribute 
 as the price of peace, obtained for him the universal applause 
 of his country ; nor can it be forgotten while the hallowed 
 standard, raised at the construction of the lines for the de- 
 fence of Charleston, on the Pinckney redoubt, proclaims the 
 cherished sentiment of America — " Millions for defence, but 
 not a cent for tribute." 
 
 TEMPERANCE. 
 
 The following is extracted from Professor Edgar's speech 
 before the London Temperance Society. 
 
 Rum-seller's Diary. — " Dec. 26. Up early this morning 
 to give morning drams to thirsty soakers, who had been 
 powerfully refreshed last night, being Christmas ; my son 
 told me that, in three hours, he heard two hundred blasphe- 
 mies in our shop ; strange that people keep all their newly- 
 coined oaths to swear them off in my shop. Dec. 30. Lost 
 two of my customer's to-day, one by delirium tremens, the 
 other by a drunken fall ; a coroners inquest was held on the 
 first, and a verdict returned, ' Died by the visitation of God? 
 the god Bacchus, I suppose. Dec. 31. On this last day of 
 the year led to make a few reflections ; very odd that so 
 many of my customers desert me for the workhouse and 
 some for the madhouse ; wonder what will become of the 
 poor fellow who went from my counter and set fire to his 
 neighbour's cornstack ? hope he won't go the same road as 
 my old couple, poor creatures, who cut the lodger's throat 
 to sell his body for drink, for I would lose his custom. 
 N.B. Attended to-day the funerals of two good customers, 
 who complained of a pain in the side ; some say they died 
 of a liver complaint* cannot understand how my eldest son 
 
136 ANECDOTES. 
 
 only eighteen, has become a drunkard, though I gave him 
 good advice, not to drink spirits at all at all, except the least 
 drop in the world ; very awkward that no medicine cures 
 my eyes, so that I wear goggles ; Joshua Mim, the Quaker, 
 had the impudence to tell me, ' If thee would wear goggle's 
 on thee mouth instead of thee eyes, thee eyes would get 
 better.' While so many old customers are dying ofF, happy 
 to see their places filled by sons and daughters, imitating 
 their parents nobly in supporting a trade countenanced by the 
 best in the land, and licensed as honest and honourable by 
 the wise laws of my country." 
 
 11 The Devil's Blood." — The Rev. Mr. Heckwelder re- 
 lates the following fact of the influence of rum upon an In- 
 dian. 
 
 " An Indian who had been born and brought up at Mini- 
 sink, near the Delaware water-gap, told me, near fifty years 
 ago, that he had once, under the influence of strong liquor, 
 killed the best Indian friend he had, fancying him to be his 
 avowed enemy. 
 
 " He said that the deception was complete, and that, while 
 intoxicated, the face of his friend presented to his eyes all 
 the features of a man with whom he was in a state of hos- 
 tility. 
 
 " It is impossible to express the horror with which he was 
 struck when he awoke from that delusion. He was so 
 shocked, that he resolved never more to taste the maddening 
 poison, of which he was convinced the devil was the invent- 
 or ; for it could only be the evil spirit who made him see 
 his enemy when his friend was before him, and produced so 
 strong a delusion upon his bewildered senses. 
 
 " From that time until his death, which happened thirty 
 years afterward, he never drank a drop of ardent spirit, 
 which he always called ' the devil's blood,' and was firmly 
 persuaded that the devil or some of the infernal spirits had 
 a hand in preparing it." 
 
 Colonel B ruling over Rum. — Colonel B was 
 
 a man of amiable manners and well-informed mind. Being 
 much employed in public business which called him from 
 place to place, ardent spirit was often set before him with 
 an invitation to drink. At first he took a social glass for civil- 
 ity's sake. But at length a habit was formed, and appetite 
 began to crave its customary indulgence. He drank more 
 largely, and once or twice was quite overcome. His friends 
 
MORAL. 137 
 
 were alarmed. He was on the brink of a precipice from 
 which many had fallen to the lowest pitch of wretchedness. 
 In his sober hours he saw the danger he was in. Said he to 
 
 himself one day when alone, " Shall Colonel B rule, or 
 
 shall rum rule ? If Colonel B rule, he and his family 
 
 may be respectable and happy ; but if rum rule, Colonel 
 
 B is ruined, his property wasted, and his family made 
 
 wretched !" At length, said he, I set down my foot, and 
 
 said, " Colonel B shall rule and rum obey." And from 
 
 that day Colonel B did rule. He immediately broke 
 
 off from his intemperate habits, and lived to a good old age, 
 virtuous, respected, and happy. Let every one who has 
 acquired or is acquiring a similar habit, go and do likewise. 
 
 A good Example. — In a neighbouring town, some twenty- 
 five years since, a very worthy woman was left a widow, 
 with a large family oi children ; and unfortunately, as is too 
 often the case, without any provision for their maintenance. 
 As a common expedient to obtain relief, she opened a little 
 shop, filled with toys and sweetmeats for children. Some 
 of her friends advised her to pursue the business of retailing 
 ardent spirits, as being more certain and lucrative. A bar- 
 rel of rum was therefore purchased, which occupied a con- 
 spicuous place among her ether articles. But the good wo- 
 man's conscience was ill at ease, with the reflection that she 
 was administering to the misery of her fellow-creatures in- 
 stead of contributing to their happiness. She resolved, at 
 the hazard of starvation, to buy no more rum. The barrel 
 was immediately removed, and God approved the deed by 
 smiling on her subsequent exertions to procure an honest live- 
 lihood. There is something sublime and affecting in such 
 heroic conduct. This poor woman may be emphatically 
 styled a pioneer in the cause of temperance. We under- 
 stand that she takes the liveliest interest in the efforts which 
 are now in train for the extinction of spirituous liquors, and 
 looks backs with thrilling emotions of pleasure to the time 
 when she voluntarily relinquished a pernicious but profitable 
 business — in this world's loneliness and solitude, unseen and 
 unapplauded, with her innocent offspring pleading for bread 
 — for the sake of virtue and God. 
 
 Temperance the Starvation of Physicians. — One of 
 the kings of Persia sent a very eminent physician to Mo- 
 hammed; who, remaining a long time in Arabia without 
 practice, at last grew weary, and presenting himself before 
 
 S 
 
138 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the prophet, he thus addressed him : " Those who had a 
 right to command me sent me here to practice physic ; but 
 since I came, I have had no opportunity of showing my em- 
 inence in this profession, as no one seems to have any occasion 
 for me." Mohammed replied, " The custom of our country 
 is this : We never eat but when we are hungry ; and always 
 leave off while we have an appetite for more." The phy- 
 sician answered, " That is the way to be always in health, 
 and to render the physician useless ;" and, so saying, he took 
 his leave and returned to Persia. 
 
 To cure Sore Eyes. — " Good-morning, landlord," said 
 a man the other day, as he stepped into a tavern to get some- 
 thing to drink. 
 
 " Good-morning, sir," replied mine host ; " how do you do ?" 
 
 " Oh, I don't know," said the man, raising his goggles and 
 wiping away the rheum ; " I'm plagued most to death with 
 these ere pesky sore eyes. I wish you'd tell me how to 
 cure 'em." 
 
 " Willingly," said the merry host. " Wear your goggles 
 over your mouth, wash your eyes in brandy, and I'll warrant 
 
 The Antagonist. — At a temperance meeting in which 
 the Rev. T. P. Hunt was speaking of the destructive effects 
 of spirituous liquor upon the human system, a miserable 
 drunkard arose and said he was as strong as any man ; and 
 he would challenge any man to fight with him. An able- 
 bodied temperance man immediately stepped forward and 
 accepted the challenge. " Hold," said Mr. H., " there is no 
 need of your wasting your energies ; there is nothing wanted 
 but a little black bottle, that will trip up his legs in five 
 minutes." The poor drunkard sat down in utter confusion. 
 
 Temperate Drinking. — The respectable temperate 
 drinker upholds and sustains the whole trade in intoxicating 
 drinks. Let such abandon the use, and the whole machinery 
 of making and vending these poisons falls to the ground. 
 The trade cannot live by the patronage of the intemperate 
 drinker. Temperate drinkers of alcohol, is not this so ? 
 
 jEschines, commending Philip, king of Macedon, for a 
 jovial man that would drink freely, Demosthenes answered 
 " that this was a good quality in a sponge, but not in a king." 
 
MORAL. 139 
 
 A Cutting Rebuke. — On an occasion, as a religious grog- 
 seller was attempting to quiet a disturbance which originated 
 in a brothel not many yards from his own house on a Satur- 
 day evening, the bully of the den issued forth, and accosted 
 the worthy pillar of the church, " Yes," said he," it's very fine 
 for you, Mr. , to come here and complain of the noise af- 
 ter you have supplied them with the stuff that makes them 
 drunk, and steals away their sense, while you have their 
 money in your pocket !" As may naturally be expected, the 
 worthy Levite was speechless by such a rebuke from such a 
 character. — Isle of Man Herald. 
 
 The Wise Goat. — The late R. P. of W. was for some 
 time awfully ensnared by the sin of drunkenness, but was, 
 at length, recovered from it in the following singular way : 
 he had a tame goat, which was wont to follow him to the 
 alehouse which he frequented. One day, by way of frolic, 
 he gave the animal so much ale that it became intoxicated. 
 What particularly struck Mr. P. was, that, from that time, 
 though the creature would follow him to the door, he never 
 could get it to enter the house. Revolving this circumstance 
 in his mind, Mr. P. was led to see how much the sin by 
 which he had been enslaved had sunk him beneath a beast, 
 and from that time became a sober man. 
 
 To what an awful extent must the rage for ardent spirits 
 have prevailed at one period in England, when the parlia- 
 ment was obliged to prohibit for twelve months the distilla- 
 tion of gin ! Smollett informs us that there were at that time 
 signs or showboards to the tippling houses, with this tariff 
 of prices, " drunk for a penny, dead drunk for twopence, 
 straw for nothing." 
 
 Every man is in danger of becoming a drunkard who is 
 in the habit of drinking ardent spirits on any of the follow- 
 ing occasions : 1. When he is warm. 2. When he is cold. 
 3. When he is wet. 4. When he is dry. 5. When he is 
 dull. 6. When he is lively. 7. When he travels. 8. W^hen 
 he is at home. 9. When he is in company. 10. When he 
 is alone. 11. When he is at work. 12. When he is idle. 
 13. Before meals. 14. After meals. 15. When he gets 
 up. 16. When he goes to bed. 17. On holydays. 18. On 
 public occasions. 19. On any day ; or, 20. On any occasion. 
 
 Intoxication. — By one of the laws of Pittacus, one of 
 
140 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the seven wise men of Greece, every fault committed by a 
 man when intoxicated was deemed to deserve double pun- 
 ishment. 
 
 Pleasures of Expectation. — A drunken fellow, at a 
 late hour in the night, was sitting in the middle of the Place 
 Vendome. A friend of his happening to pass, recognised 
 him and said, " Well, what do you here ! why don't you go 
 home ?" The drunkard replied, " My good fellow, 'tis just 
 what I want (hiccough), but the place is all going round 
 (hiccough), and I'm waiting for my door to pass by." 
 
 License System (By Professor Edgar). — "Is it not a 
 sad feature of our excise revenue, that it fattens as the peo- 
 ple starve ? A curse is upon such revenue ; it is stained 
 with blood, it is washed with the tears of widows and of 
 orphans. There was a time when the account of crime was 
 easily settled. Did the debauchee, tired of the mother of 
 his children, wish another in her place ? He bought an in- 
 dulgence, and had his wish. You have heard of the nobleman 
 who, having bought from Tetzel an indulgence for a crime 
 to be committed, robbed him, beat him, and told him that 
 was the crime for which he paid. This nobleman was not 
 half so mischievous as the rumseller, and Tetzel never drove 
 so barefaced a trade in indulgences as our own government. 
 Rumsellers' licenses are all indulgences, like the nobleman's, 
 for future crimes. The rumseller presents himself at the 
 office of indulgences — the excise — asking a license. What 
 does he want ? A license to kill. Is it with the sword ? 
 The sword is an antiquated weapon, which may cut down 
 some thousands of men in a single day, then for years it 
 rusts in its scabbard ; but he drives a trade in death, which 
 goes on night and day, mingling young and old, male and 
 female, in one indiscriminate slaughter. Does he ask inoc- 
 ulation for the plague ? The plague may spread its havoc 
 once in a century, but it is soon gone, and health and beauty 
 smile where once was the house of the dead; but the grave 
 for his victims must never close, the tears of his widows 
 must never dry ; whether spring scatters her flowers or win- 
 ter his frost, the crowd of victims must throng to his den to 
 return no more. Honour and conscience must die, female 
 virtue must fall before the seducer, and a profligate race 
 must leave to sons' sons a heritage of iniquity and death. 
 For all this he modestly asks a license, and our wise, pater- 
 nal, and Christian government answer, ' Pay the price and 
 
MORAL. 141 
 
 A friend of mine, distressed by the ravages of 
 the neighbouring rumsellers, prosecuted them for not having 
 legal qualifications. They were convicted, but the magis- 
 trate said it was neither patriotic nor loyal to deprive the 
 revenue of such a sum as so many rumseller's paid ; and so 
 the rumseller's returned to their drunkeries in triumph. 
 
 Quieting Conscience. — In a town not many miles off, 
 the sober part of it, in imitation of their neighbours of other 
 towns, resolved to call a meeting for the purpose of consid- 
 ering the expediency of adopting the best measures for the 
 suppression of intemperance. Accordingly, notice to this ef- 
 fect was given, and a meeting was convened. The meeting 
 being organized, and the objects of it stated by a venerable 
 and very good sort of a man, various resolutions were adopt- 
 ed. Among them was one which seemed to embrace the 
 whole subject, as it would, it was supposed, put an entire 
 veto upon the crying sin of intemperance. It is well 
 known to the " wool-growing" part of the community that 
 their sheep must be effectually washed, in order to cleanse 
 the wool for the manufacturer, once a year. Now this 
 is a laborious business ; not only so, but a very wet and 
 cold business, as the sheep should be washed early in the 
 season, before the wool begins to fall. In consequence, the 
 good people of the town resolved, under heavy penalties, 
 that they would, in no case whatever, drink any ardent spir- 
 its save at the laborious, cold, and wet business of washing 
 sheep. Not many days after it was observed that one of 
 those who composed the aforesaid meeting was a " little the 
 worse for liquor." He was charged with the fact, but he 
 protested he had lived up to the very spirit and letter of the 
 resolution. He was asked how that could be. " Why," said 
 he, " I have a sheep in that pen which I regularly wash seven 
 times a day /" 
 
 Temperance. — Anachonis, the philosopher, being asked 
 by what means a man might best guard against the vice of 
 drunkenness, answered, " By bearing constantly in his view 
 the loathsome, indecent behaviour of such as are intoxicated." 
 Upon this principle was founded the custom of the Lacedae- 
 monians of exposing their drunken slaves to their children, 
 who by that means conceived an early aversion to a vice 
 which makes men appear so monstrous and irrational. 
 
 The Drunkard's Cloak. — It appears from " Gardiner's 
 
142 ANECD OTES. 
 
 England's Grievance in Relation to the Coal Trade," that in 
 the time of the commonwealth, the magistrates of Newcas- 
 tle-upon-Tyne punished drunkards by making them put a 
 tub over their heads, with holes in the sides for the arms to 
 pass through, called the Drunkard's Cloak, and thus walk 
 through the streets of the town. 
 
 Spontaneous Combustion of Drunkards. — When Kit- 
 tredge published his first address, which electrified the 
 nation, his introduction of a case of combustion was almost 
 universally regretted. It was so new, and appeared so in- 
 credible, that scarce any one was found ready to believe or 
 sustain it, while every moderate and immoderate drinker of 
 alcohol from Georgia to Maine, and every manufacturer and 
 vender of intoxicating drinks, laid hold of it as effectual to 
 counteract and destroy all the influence which that most 
 thrilling address was calculated to produce. But now these 
 cases have multiplied so much, and been so well attested, 
 that few are disposed to call them in question. Doctor Peter 
 Schofield, of Upper Canada, gives the following r case ; a 
 terrible monition to all drunkards. 
 
 " It was the case of a young man, about twenty-five years 
 of age : he had been an habitual drinker for many years. 
 I saw him about nine o'clock in the evening on which it 
 happened. He was then, as usual, not drunk, but full of 
 liquor. About eleven the same evening I was called to see 
 him. I found him literally roasted from the crown of his 
 head to the soles of his feet. He was found in a black- 
 smith's shop just across the way from where he had been. 
 The owner all of a sudden discovered an extensive light in 
 his shop, as though the whole building was in one general 
 flame. He ran with the greatest precipitancy, and on fling- 
 ing open the door discovered a man standing erect in the 
 midst of a widely-extended silver-coloured blaze, bearing, 
 as he described it, exactly the appearance of the wick of a 
 burning candle in the midst of its own flame. He seized 
 him by the shoulder and jerked him to the door, upon which 
 the flame was instantly extinguished. 
 
 "There was no fire in the shop, neither was there any 
 possibility of fire having been communicated to him from 
 any external source. It was purely a case of spontaneous 
 ignition. A general sloughing came on, and his flesh was 
 consumed, or removed in the dressing, leaving the bones and 
 a few of the larger bloodvessels standing. The blood, 
 nevertheless, rallied around the heart, and maintained the 
 
MORAL. 143 
 
 vital spark until the thirteenth day, when he died, not only 
 the most loathsome, ill-featured, and dreadful picture that 
 was ever presented to human view, but his shrieks, his cries, 
 and lamentations were enough to rend a heart of adamant. 
 He complained of no pain of body ; his flesh was gone. He 
 said he was suffering the torments of hell ; that he was just 
 upon its threshold, and should soon enter its dismal caverns ; 
 and in this frame of mind gave up the ghost. Oh, the death 
 of a drunkard ! Well may it be said to beggar all descrip- 
 tion. I have seen other drunkards die, but never in a 
 manner so awful and affecting. They usually go off sense- 
 less and stupid as it regards a future state !" 
 In all such cases Professor Silliman remarks : 
 " The entire body having become saturated with alcohol 
 absorbed into all its tissues, becomes highly inflammable, as 
 indicated by the vapour which reeks from the breath and 
 lungs of a drunkard : this vapour, doubtless highly alcoholic, 
 may take fire, and then the body slowly consume." 
 
 As a valuable document, we present from Dr. Lindsley's 
 Prize Essay the following table : 
 
144 
 
 ANECDOTES. 
 
 OP THE PRINCIPAL CASES OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION FROM THE 
 DICTIONAIRE DE MEDECINE. 
 
 !lu< I £ I eo I to I 
 
 IoIcomIoIwI*, I 
 
 I - I 
 
 if 
 
 7 5 
 
 
 < 
 
 So* 
 
 • B 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 * 
 
 3. 
 
 §" 
 
 
 
 
 N 
 
 
 ee 
 
 
 OB 
 
 
 
 *P 
 
 
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MORAL. 145 
 
 Pledge Breaking. — " Many of the tee-totallers break 
 their pledges," said an objector the other day, insinuating as 
 much as if that were an objection to the tee-total cause. 
 "Yes," replied the tee-totaller, "many break their pledges, 
 but you cannot find one of them that betters himself thereby." 
 
 Drinking the King's Health. — I shall preserve the 
 story in the words of Whitelocke ; it was something ludi- 
 crous as well as terrific. 
 
 From Berkshire (in May, 1650) that five drunkards agreed 
 to drink the king's health in their blood, and that each of 
 them should cut off a piece of his buttock and fry it upon 
 the gridiron, which was done by four of them, of whom one 
 did bleed so exceedingly that they were fain to send for a 
 chirurgeon, and so were discovered. The wife of one of 
 them, hearing that her husband was among them, came to 
 the room, and taking up a pair of tongs, laid about her, and 
 so saved the cutting of her husband's flesh. — Whitelocke 1 s 
 Memorials, p. 453, second edition. 
 
 Luxury. — In the tenth year of the reign of Edward IV., 
 1470, George Nevill, brother to the Earl of Warwick, at his 
 instalment into the archiepiscopal see of York, entertained 
 most of the nobility and principal clergy, when his bill of 
 fare was 300 quarters of wheat, 350 tuns of ale, 104 tuns 
 of wine, a pipe of spiced wine, 80 fat oxen, six wild bulls, 
 1004 wethers, 300 hogs, 300 calves, 3000 geese, 3000 ca- 
 pons, 300 pigs, 100 peacocks, 200 cranes, 200 kids, 2000 
 chickens, 4000 pigeons, 4000 rabbits, 204 bitterns, 4000 
 ducks, 200 pheasants, 500 partridges, 2000 woodcocks, 400 
 plovers, 100 curlews, 100 quails, 1000 egrets, 200 rees, 400 
 bucks, does, and roebucks, 1506 hot venison pasties, 4000 
 cold ditto, 1000 dishes of jelly, parted, 4000 dishes of jelly, 
 plain, 4000 cold custards, 2000 hot custards, 300 pikes, 300 
 breams, eight seals, four porpoises, 400 tarts. At this feast 
 the Earl .of Warwick was steward, the Earl of Bedford 
 treasurer, and Lord Hastings comptroller, with many more 
 noble officers; 1000 servitors, 62 cooks, 515 menial appar- 
 itors in the kitchen. But such was the fortune of the man, 
 that, after this extreme prodigality, he died in the most ab- 
 ject but unpitied poverty, vinctus jacuit in summa inopia. 
 
 And as to dress, luxury in that article seems to have at- 
 taisad a great height long before Holinshed's time ; for, in 
 the re.jn of Edward III., we find no fewer than seven sump- 
 uarv laws passed in one session* of parliament to restrain it. 
 
 T 7 
 
146 ANECDOTES. 
 
 It was enacted that men-servants of lords, as also of trades- 
 men and artisans, shall be content with one meal of fish or 
 flesh every day, and the other meals daily shall be of milk, 
 cheese, butter, and the like. Neither shall they use any 
 ornaments of gold, silk, or embroidery, nor their wives or 
 daughters any veils above the price of twelvepence. Arti- 
 sans and yeomen shall not wear cloth above the price of 40s 
 the whole piece (the finest being about 61. per piece), nor the 
 ornaments before named. Nor the women any veils of silk, 
 but only those of thread made in England. Gentlemen 
 under the degree of knights, not having 100/. yearly in land, 
 shall not wear any cloth above 4 J- marks the whole piece. 
 Neither shall they or their females use cloth of gold, silver, 
 or embroidery, &c. But esquires having 200/. per annum 
 or upward of rent may wear cloth of five marks the whole 
 piece of cloth, and they and their females may also wear 
 stuff of silk, silver ribands, girdles, or furs. Merchants 
 or citizen-burghers, and artificers or tradesmen, as well of 
 London as elsewhere, who have goods and chattels of the 
 clear value of 500/., and their females, may wear as is al- 
 lowed to gentlemen and esquires of 100/. per annum. And 
 merchant-citizens and burgesses worth above 1000/. in 
 goods and chattels may (and their females) wear the same 
 as gentlemen of 200/. per annum. Knights of 200 marks 
 yearly may wear cloth of six marks the piece, but no higher ; 
 but no cloth of gold nor furred with ermine ; but all knights 
 and ladies having above 400 marks yearly, up to 1000/. per 
 annum, may wear as they please, ermine excepted ; and they 
 may wear ornaments of pearl and precious stones for their 
 heads only. Clerks having degrees in cathedrals, colleges, 
 &c, may wear as knights and esquires of the same income. 
 Ploughmen, carters, shepherds, and such like, not having 
 405. value in goods or chattels, shall wear no sort of cloth 
 but blankets and russet lawn of 12d., and shall wear girdles 
 and belts ; and they shall only eat and drink suitable to their, 
 stations. And whosoever useth any other apparel than is 
 prescribed in the above laws shall forfeit the same. 
 
 man 
 
 Source of Luxury. — A Norwegian reproaching a Dutch- 
 man with luxury, " What is become," said he, " of those 
 happy times when a merchant on going from Amsterdam to 
 the Indies left a quarter of dried beef in his kitchen, and 
 found it at his return ? Where are your wooden spoons and 
 iron forks ? Is it not a shame for a sober Dutchman to lie 
 In a damask bed ?" " Go to Batavia," answered the man of 
 
MORAL. 147 
 
 Amsterdam ; " get ten tons of gold, as I have done, and sec 
 whether you will not want to be a little better clothed, fed, 
 and lodged H 
 
 Ingratitude. — In a little work entitled Friendly Cau- 
 tions to Officers, the following atrocious instance of ingrati- 
 tude is related. An opulent city in the west of England, 
 little used to have troops with them, had a regiment sent to 
 be quartered. The principal inhabitants and wealthiest 
 merchants, glad to show their hospitality and attachment to 
 their sovereign, took the first opportunity to get acquainted 
 with the officers, inviting them to their houses, and showing 
 every civility in their power. This was truly a desirable 
 situation. A merchant, extremely easy in his circumstances, 
 took so prodigious a liking to one officer in particular, that 
 he gave him an apartment in his own house, and made him, 
 in a manner, absolute master of it, the officer's friends being 
 always welcome to his table. The merchant was a widow- 
 er, and had only two favourite daughters ; the officer, in so 
 comfortable a situation, cast his wanton eyes upon them, and, 
 too fatally succeeding, ruined them both. Dreadful return 
 to the merchant's misplaced friendship ! 
 
 The consequence of this ungenerous action was, that all 
 officers ever after were shunned as a public nuisance, as a 
 pest to society ; nor have the inhabitants perhaps yet con- 
 quered their aversion to a redcoat. 
 
 We read in Rapin's History, that during Monmouth's re- 
 bellion, in the reign of James II., a certain person, knowing 
 the humane disposition of one Mrs. Gaunt, whose life was 
 one continual exercise of beneficence, fled to her house, 
 where he was concealed and maintained for some time. 
 Hearing, however, of the proclamation which promised an 
 indemnity and reward to those who discovered such as har- 
 boured the rebels, he betrayed his benefactress ; and such 
 was the spirit of justice and equity which prevailed among 
 the ministers, that he was pardoned and recompensed for 
 his treachery, while she was burned alive for her charity. 
 
 Macedo. — Basilius Macedo, the emperor, exercising him- 
 self in hunting, a sport he took great delight in, a great stag, 
 running furiously against him, fastened one of the branches 
 of his horns in the emperor's girdle, and, pulling him from 
 his horse, dragged him a good distance to the imminent dan- 
 ger of his life ; which a gentleman of his retinue perceiving, 
 drew his sword and cut the emperor's girdle asunder, which 
 
148 ANECDOTES. 
 
 disengaged him from the beast, with little or no h irt to his 
 person. But observe what reward he had for his pains : 
 " He was sentenced to lose his head for putting his sword 
 so near the body of the emperor," and suffered death accord- 
 ingly- 
 
 The Ungrateful Guest. — A certain soldier in the Mace- 
 donian army had in many instances distinguished himself 
 by extraordinary marks of valour, and had received many 
 marks of Philip's favour and approbation. On some occa- 
 sion he embarked on board a vessel, which was wrecked 
 by a violent storm, and he himself cast on the shore helpless 
 and naked, and scarcely with the appearance of life. A Ma- 
 cedonian, whose lands were contiguous to the sea, came op- 
 portunely to be witness of his distress ; and, with all humane 
 and charitable tenderness, flew to the relief of the unhappy 
 stranger. He bore him to his house, laid him in his own 
 bed, revived, cherished, comforted, and for forty days sup- 
 plied him freely with all the necessaries and conveniences 
 which his languishing condition could require. The soldier, 
 thus happily rescued from death, was incessant in the warm- 
 est expressions of gratitude to his benefactor, assured him 
 of his interest with the king, and of his power and resolution 
 of obtaining for him, from the royal bounty, the noble returns , 
 which such extraordinary benevolence had merited. He was 
 now completely recovered, and his kind host supplied him 
 with money to pursue his journey. In some time after he 
 presented himself before the king ; he recounted his misfor- 
 tunes, magnified his services ; and this inhuman wretch, 
 who had looked with an eye of envy on the possessions of 
 the man who had preserved his life, was now so abandoned 
 to all sense of gratitude as to request that the king would be- 
 stow upon him the house and lands where he had been so 
 tenderly and kindly entertained. Unhappily, Philip, with- 
 out examination, inconsiderately and precipitately granted 
 his infamous request ; and this soldier, now returned to his 
 preserver, repaid his goodness by driving him from his set- 
 tlement, and taking immediate possession of all the fruits of 
 his honest industry. The poor man, stung with this instance 
 of unparalleled ingratitude and insensibility, boldly deter- 
 mined, instead of submitting to his wrongs, to seek relief; 
 and, in a letter addressed to Philip, represented his own and 
 the soldier's conduct in a lively and affecting manner. The 
 king was instantly fired with indignation ; he ordered that 
 justice should be done without delay ; that the possessions 
 
MORAL. 149 
 
 should be immediately restored to the man whose charitable 
 offices had been thus horribly repaid ; and having seized 
 the soldier, caused these words to be branded on his fore- 
 head, The Ungrateful Guest ; a character infamous in every 
 age and among all nations, but particularly among the 
 Greeks, who from the earliest times were most scrupulously 
 observant of the laws of hospitality. 
 
 Forwardness. — Nothing, perhaps, is more unbecoming 
 young persons than the assumption of consequence before 
 men of age, wisdom, and experience. The advice, therefore, 
 of Parmenio, the Grecian general, to his son, was worthy of 
 him to give, and worthy of every man of sense to adopt : " My 
 son," says he, " would you be great, you must be less ;" that 
 is, you must be less in your own eyes if you would be great 
 in the eyes of others. 
 
 An acute Frenchman has remarked, " that the modest de- 
 portment of really wise men, when contrasted to the assu- 
 ming air of the young and ignorant, may be compared to the 
 different appearance of wheat, which, while its ear is empty, 
 holds up its head proudly ; but, as soon as it is filled with 
 grain, bends modestly down and withdraws from observa- 
 tion." 
 
 Anthony Blackwall, the author of that excellent work, the 
 " Sacred Classics Defended and Illustrated," had the felicity 
 to bring up many excellent scholars in his seminaries at Der- 
 by and Bosworth. A gentleman who had been his scholar, 
 being patron of the church of Clapham, in Surrey, pre- 
 sented him to that living, as a mark of his gratitude and es- 
 teem. This happening late in life, and Blackwall having oc- 
 casion to wait upon the bishop of the diocess, he was some- 
 what pertly questioned by a young chaplain as to the extent 
 of his learning. ** Boy," replied the indignant veteran, " I 
 have forgotten more than ever you knew." An answer this 
 much like that of Sergeant Glanville to the young lawyer. 
 
 Once, at a meeting of ministers, a question of moment was 
 started to be debated among them. Upon the first proposal of 
 it, a confident young man shoots his bolt presently. " Truly," 
 said he, " I hold it so." " You hold, sir !" answered a grave 
 minister ; " it becomes you to hold your tongue." 
 
 A young minister once preaching for Mr. Brewer, evident- 
 ly laboured to set himself off to the best advantage. Being 
 afterward very solicitous to know of Mr. Brewer what the 
 people said of him, he received the following answer : " Why, 
 sir, the people said, and I said with them, that you said I am 
 a very clever fellow." 
 
150 ANECDOTES. 
 
 A very young clergyman, who had just left college, pre- 
 sented a petition to the King of Prussia, requesting that his 
 majesty would appoint him inspector in a certain place where 
 a vacancy had just happened. As it was an office of much 
 consequence, the king was offended at the presumption and 
 importunity of so young a man ; and, instead of any answer 
 to the petition, he wrote underneath, " 2 Book of Samuel, 
 chapter x., verse 5," and returned it. The young clergy- 
 man was eager to examine the quotation ; but, to his great 
 disappointment, found the words, " Tarry at Jericho until 
 your beards be grown." 
 
 A Bite. — A very important stripling, whom favouritism 
 had raised to the dignity of quartermaster of a regiment of 
 infantry, wishing, one parade day, to dismount from his 
 charger for the purpose of wetting his whistle and adjusting 
 his spurs, called out in a very commanding tone to a specta- 
 tor who was near him : 
 
 " Here, fellow, hold this horse." 
 
 " Does he kick ?" bawled out the person addressed. 
 Kick ! no ! take hold of him." 
 
 " Dose he bite ?" 
 
 " Bite ! no ! take hold of the bridle, I say." 
 
 " Does it take two to hold him ?" 
 
 "No!" 
 
 " Then hold him yourself." 
 
 Pedantry Reproved. — A young man who was a student 
 in one of our colleges, being very vain of his knowledge of 
 the Latin language, embraced every opportunity that offered 
 to utter short sentences in Latin before his more illiterate 
 companions. An uncle of his, who was a seafaring man, 
 having just arrived from a long voyage, invited his nephew 
 to visit him on board of the ship. The young gentleman 
 went on board, and was highly pleased with everything he 
 saw. Wishing to give his uncle an idea of his superior 
 knowledge, he tapped him on the shoulder, and pointing to 
 the windlass, asked, "Quid est hoc?" His uncle, being a 
 man who despised such vanity, took a chew of tobacco from 
 his mouth, and throwing it in his nephew's face, replied, " Hoc 
 est quid" 
 
 Honourable Descent. — A newly imported cockney tour- 
 ist lately requested a gentleman of Philadelphia to give him 
 letters of introduction to some foreigners in New-York, with 
 
MORAL. 151 
 
 whom he might associate without degradation ; some who 
 had " descended from great houses" &c. The courteous 
 American readily complied with his request, and the cock- 
 ney was formally introduced to three Irish hodmen, while 
 they were in the very act of descending from a " great house" 
 in Broadway. The traveller's mortification was highly rel- 
 ished by the honest Hibernians. 
 
 Consequence. — A pragmatical fellow, who travelled for 
 a mercantile "house in town, entering an inn at Bristol, con- 
 sidered the traveller's room beneath his dignity, and required 
 to be shown to a private apartment ; while he was taking re- 
 freshment, the good hostess and her maid were elsewhere 
 discussing the point as to what class their customer belonged. 
 At length the bill was called for, and the charges declared to be 
 enormous. " Sixpence for an egg ! I never paid such a price 
 since I travelled for the house !" " There !" exclaimed the 
 girl, " I told my mistress I was sure, sir, that you were no 
 gentleman." 
 
 Another gentleman, going into a tavern in the Strand, called 
 for a glass of brandy and water with an air of great conse- 
 quence, and after drinking it off, inquired what was to pay. 
 " Fifteen pence, sir," said the waiter. " Fifteen pence ! fel- 
 low, why that is downright imposition ; call your master." 
 The master appeared, and the guest was remonstrating, when 
 " mine host" stopped him short by saying, " Sir, fifteen pence 
 is the price we charge to gentlemen ; if any persons not en- 
 titled to that character trouble us, we take what they can 
 afford, and are glad to get rid of them." 
 
 Flattery. — A flatterer one day complimented Alphonso 
 V. in the following words : " Sire, you are not only a king like 
 others, but you are also the brother, the nephew, and the 
 son of a king." " Well," replied the monarch, " what do all 
 these vain titles prove ? That I hold the crown from my 
 ancestors, without ever having done anything to deserve it." 
 
 His majesty King James the First once asked Bishop 
 Andrews and Bishop Neale the following question: "My 
 lords, cannot I take my subjects' money when I want it with- 
 out all this formality in parliament ?" Bishop Neale readily 
 answered, " God forbid, sir, but you should ; you are the 
 breath of our nostrils." Whereupon the king turned and 
 said to Bishop Andrews, " Well, my lord, what say you ?" 
 " Sir," replied the bishop, " I have no skill to judge of par- 
 liamentary cases." The king answered, " No put offs my 
 
152 ANECDOTES. 
 
 lord ; answer me presently." " Then, sir," said he, " I think 
 it lawful for you to take my brother Neale's money, for he 
 offers it." 
 
 Domitius. — The orator Domitius was once in great danger 
 from an inscription which he had put upon a statue erected 
 by him in honour of Caligula, wherein he had declared that 
 that prince was a second time consul at the age of twenty- 
 seven. This he intended as an encomium ; but Caligula, 
 taking it as a sarcasm upon his youth and his Infringement 
 of the laws, raised a process against him, and pleaded him- 
 self in person. Domitius, instead of making a defence, re- 
 peated part of the emperor's speech with the highest marks 
 of admiration ; after which he fell upon his knees, and, beg 
 ging pardon declared that he dreaded more the eloquence of 
 Caligula than his imperial power. This piece of flattery 
 succeeded so well, that the emperor not only pardoned, but 
 also raised him to the consulship. 
 
 DUELLING. 
 
 The number of duels that are now fought prove the sad 
 depravity of the times, and of the little sense men have of 
 another world. " If every one," says Addison, " that fought 
 a duel was to stand in the pillory, it would quickly lessen 
 the number of these imaginary men of honour, and put an 
 end to so absurd a practice." 
 
 Two friends happening to quarrel at a tavern, one of them, 
 a man of hasty disposition, insisted that the other should 
 fight him next morning; the challenge was accepted on 
 condition that they should breakfast together at the house 
 of the person challenged previous to their going to the field. 
 When the challenger came in the morning according to ap- 
 pointment, he found every preparation made for breakfast, 
 and his friend, with his wife and children, ready to receive 
 him ; their repast being ended, and the family withdrawn 
 without the least intimation of their purpose having tran- 
 spired, the challenger asked the other if he was ready to at- 
 tend. " No, sir," said he, " not till we are more on a par ; 
 that amiable woman, and those six lovely children who just 
 now breakfasted with us, depend, under Providence, on my 
 life for subsistence ; and till you can stake something equal 
 in my estimation to the welfare of seven persons dearer to 
 
MORAL. 153 
 
 me than the apple of my eye, I cannot think we are equally 
 matched." " We are not, indeed /" replied the other, giving 
 him his hand. These two persons became firmer friends 
 than ever. 
 
 Frederic the Great. — Frederic the Great is said to 
 have taken the following summary and very successful 
 method of suppressing duelling in his army : 
 
 An officer desired his permission to fight a duel with a 
 fellow-officer. He gave his consent, with the understanding 
 that himself would be a spectator of the conflict. The hour 
 of meeting arrived, and the parties repaired to the place of 
 slaughter. But what was their surprise to find a gibbet 
 erected upon the spot. The challenger inquired of Frederic, 
 who was present according to agreement, what this meant. 
 " I intend," said he, sternly, " to hang the surviver !" This 
 was enough. The duel was not fought ; and by this simple 
 but effectual means, it is said duelling was broken up in the 
 army of Frederic. 
 
 A Swiss Retort. — A French officer, quarrelling with a 
 Swiss, reproached him with his country's vice of fighting on 
 either side for money, "while we Frenchmen," said he, 
 " fight for honour" " Yes, sir," replied the Swiss, " every 
 one fights for that he most wants." 
 
 Judge Thacher. — The late Judge Thacher, of Maine, 
 while a member of the national legislature, was challenged 
 on a certain occasion by, I think, a member of Congress. 
 The judge was not deficient in true courage, but his princi- 
 ples were decidedly opposed to duelling. " I will go and 
 consult my wife" replied he, " and if she will consent I will 
 fight you." " You are a coward," replied the challenger. 
 <( Very well," said the judge ; " you knew I was, or you 
 never would have challenged me." 
 
 The Duel prevented. — Two soldiers belonging to the 
 Vendean cavalry having fallen into a dispute, agreed to de- 
 cide their quarrel with the sword. The Marquis de Donnisau, 
 passing by at the moment, remonstrated with them on their 
 want of charity. "Jesus Christ," said he, "pardoned his 
 executioners, and a soldier of the Christian army endeavours 
 to kill his comrade." At these words the two soldiers threw 
 aside their sabres and rushed into each other's arms. 
 
 U 
 
154 ANECDOTES. 
 
 A quarrel having arisen between a celebrated gentleman 
 in the literary world and one of his acquaintances, the latter 
 heroically and less laconically concluded a letter to the 
 former on the subject of the dispute with, " I have a life at 
 your service if you dare take it." To which the other re- 
 plied, " You say you have a life at my service if I dare take 
 it. I must confess to you that I dare not take it ; I thank 
 my God I have not the courage to take it. But though I 
 own that I am afraid to deprive you . of your life, yet, sir, 
 permit me to assure you that I am equally thankful to the 
 Almighty Being for mercifully bestowing on me sufficient 
 resolution, if attacked, to defend my own." This unexpect- 
 ed kind of reply had the proper effect ; it brought the mad- 
 man back again to his reason. Friends intervened, and the 
 affair was compromised. 
 
 Historical Anecdote of a Remarkable Duel. — The 
 fame of an English dog has been deservedly transmitted to 
 posterity by a monument in basso relievo, which still remains 
 on the chimney-piece of the grand hall at the castle of Mon- 
 targis, in France ; the sculpture represents a dog fighting 
 with a champion, and was occasioned by the following cir- 
 cumstance : 
 
 Aubri de Mondidier, a gentleman of family and fortune, 
 travelling alone through the forest of Bondi, was murdered 
 and buried under a tree. His dog, an English bloodhound, 
 would not leave his master's grave for several days, till at 
 length, compelled by hunger, he went to the house of an in- 
 timate friend of the unfortunate Aubri's at Paris, and by his 
 melancholy howling seemed desirous of expressing the loss 
 they had both sustained. He repeated his cries, ran to the 
 door, then looked back to see if any one followed him, re- 
 turned to his master's friend, pulled him by the sleeve, and 
 with dumb eloquence entreated him to go with him. 
 
 The singularity of all the actions of the dog ; his coming 
 there without his master, whose faithful companion he always 
 had been ; the sudden disappearance of his master ; and, per- 
 haps, that divine dispensation of justice and events which 
 will not permit the guilty to remain long undetected, made 
 the company resolve to follow the dog, who conducted them 
 to the tree, where he renewed his howl, scratching the earth 
 with his feet, to signify that that was the spot they should 
 search. Accordingly, on digging, the body of the unfortu- 
 nate Aubri was found. 
 
 Some time after the dog accidentally met the assassin, 
 
MORAL. 155 
 
 who is styled, by all historians that relate this fact, the Chev- 
 alier Macaire ; when, instantly seizing him by the throat, it 
 was with great difficulty he was made to leave his prey. 
 
 Whenever he saw him after, the dog pursued and attacked 
 him with equal fury. Such obstinate virulence in the ani- 
 mal, confined only to Macaire, appeared extraordinary to 
 those persons who recollected the dog's fondness for his mas- 
 ter, and, at the same time, several instances wherein Macaire 
 had displayed his envy and hatred to Aubri de Mondidier. 
 
 Additional circumstances increased suspicion, which at 
 length reached the royal ear. The king (Louis VIII.) sent 
 for the dog. He appeared extremely gentle, till, perceiving 
 Macaire in the midst of twenty noblemen, he ran directly 
 towards him, growled, and flew at him as usual. 
 
 In those times, when no positive proof of a crime could be 
 procured, an order was issued for a combat between the ac- 
 cuser and accused. These were denominated the judgment 
 of God, from a persuasion that Heaven would sooner work 
 a miracle than suffer innocence to perish with infamy. 
 
 The king, struck with such a collection of circumstantial 
 evidence against Macaire, determined to refer the decision 
 to the chance of war ; or, in other words, he gave orders for 
 a combat between the chevalier and the dog. The lists 
 were appointed in the aisle of Notre Dame, then an unen- 
 closed, uninhabited place ; Macaire's weapon was a great 
 cudgel. 
 
 The dog had an empty cask allowed for his retreat, to re 
 cover breath. The combatants being ready, the dog no 
 sooner found himself at liberty than he ran round his adver- 
 sary, avoiding his blows, menacing him on every side, till his 
 strength was exhausted ; then springing forward, he griped 
 him by the throat, threw him on the ground, and forced him to 
 confess his crime before the king and the whole court. In 
 consequence of which the chevalier, after a few days, was 
 convicted on his own acknowledgment, and beheaded on a 
 scaffold in the aisle of Notre Dame. 
 
 The above curious recital is translated from the Memoirs 
 sur les Duels, and is confirmed by many judicious critical 
 writers, particularly Julius Scaliger and Montfaucon, nei- 
 ther of them relators of fabulous stories. 
 
 Bible the best Sword. — The late Rev. Jonathan Scott, 
 a captain in the British army, who about forty-five years ago 
 was a zealous and affectionate preacher of the gospel in 
 England, was accustomed to deliver his addresses from the 
 
156 ANECDOTES. 
 
 pulpit (at such places as he was quartered) in his regiment- 
 als* His preaching having been made effectual to the pro- 
 duction of a great change in a certain young lady, the daugh- 
 ter of a country gentleman, so that she could no longer join 
 the family in their usual dissipations, and appeared to them 
 as melancholy, or approaching to it, her father, who was a 
 very gay man, looking upon Mr. Scott as the sole cause of 
 what he considered his daughter's misfortune, became ex- 
 ceedingly enraged at him, so much so that he actually lay 
 in wait in order to shoot him. Mr. Scott, being providentially 
 apprized of it, was enabled to escape the danger. The dia- 
 bolical design of the gentleman being thus defeated, he sent 
 Mr. Scott a challenge. Mr. Scott might have availed himself 
 of the law and prosecuted him, but he took another method. 
 He waited upon him at his house, was introduced to him in 
 his parlour, and, with his characteristic boldness and intre- 
 pidity, thus addressed him : " Sir, I hear you have designed 
 to shoot me, by which you would have been guilty of mur- 
 der; failing in this, you sent me a challenge. And what, a 
 coward must you be, sir, to wish to engage with a blind man" 
 (alluding to his being short-sighted). " As you have given 
 me the challenge, it is now my right to choose the time, 
 the place, and the weapon. I therefore appoint the present 
 moment, sir, the place where we now are, and for the weap- 
 on, the sword to which I have been most accustomed." The 
 gentleman was evidently greatly terrified, when Mr. Scott, 
 having attained his end, produced a pocket Bible, and ex- 
 claimed, " This is my sword, sir, the only weapon I wish to 
 engage with." " Never," said Mr. Scott to a friend, to whom 
 he related this anecdote, " never was a poor careless sinner 
 so delighted with the sight of a Bible before." Mr. Scott 
 reasoned with the gentleman on the impropriety of his con- 
 duct in treating him as he had done for no other reason but 
 because he had preached the everlasting gospel. The re- 
 sult was, the gentleman took him by the hand, begged his 
 pardon, expressed his sorrow for his conduct, and became 
 afterward very friendly to him. — Eng. Paper. 
 
 Clarke on Duelling. — The following is an extract from 
 Dr. A. Clarke's commentary on Hosea iv., 2, and corre- 
 ponds with his expressions elsewhere on the subject. 
 
 " Blood toucheth blood. — Murders are not only frequent, 
 but assassinations are mutual. Men go out to Mil each 
 other — as in our duels, the phrensy of cowards — and as there 
 
 * Your correspondent has been an eyewitness to this. 
 
MORAL. 157 
 
 is no law regarded and no justice in the land, the nearest 
 kin slays the murderer. Even in our land, where duels are 
 so frequent, if a man kill his antagonist, it is murder, and so 
 generally brought in by an honest coroner and his jury. It 
 is then brought into court ; but who is hanged for it ? The 
 very murder is considered as an affair of honour, though 
 it began in a dispute about a prostitute ; and it is di- 
 rected to be brought in manslaughter ; and the murderer is 
 slightly fined for having hurried his neighbour, perhaps once 
 his friend, into the eternal world, ivith all his imperfections 
 on his head ! No wonder that a land mourns where these 
 prevail, and that God should have a controversy with it. 
 Such crimes as these are sufficient to bring God's curse upon 
 any land !" 
 
 How to treat a Bully. — In 1793, the Prussian officers 
 of the garrison of Colberg established an economical mess, 
 of which certain poor emigrants were glad to partake. They 
 observed one day an old major of hussars, who was covered 
 with the scars of wounds received in the " seven years' war," 
 and half-hidden by enormous gray mustaches. The con- 
 versation turned on duels. A young stout-built cornet began 
 to prate in an authoritative tone on the subject. " And you, 
 major, how many duels have you fought ?" " None, thank 
 Heaven," answered the old hussar, in a subdued voice ; " I 
 have fourteen wounds, and, Heaven be praised, there is not 
 one in my back ; so I may be permitted to say that I feel 
 myself happy in never having fought a duel." " But you 
 shall fight one with me," exclaimed the cornet, reaching 
 across to give him a blow. The major, agitated, grasped 
 the table to assist him in rising, when a unanimous cry was 
 raised, " Stchen sie rhuic herr, major /" " Don't stir, ma- 
 jor !" All the officers present joined in seizing the cornet, 
 when they threw him out at the window, and sat down again 
 to table as if nothing had occurred. 
 
 General Hamilton. — In the year 1804 General Hamil- 
 ton, who had been just appointed ambassador from the Uni- 
 ted States to Paris, got involved in a political dispute with 
 Colonel Aaron Burr, then vice-president. Dr. Cooper had 
 published a pamphlet, in which he said, " General Hamilton 
 and Dr. Kent say that they consider Colonel Burr as a dan- 
 gerous man, and one unfit to be trusted with the reins of 
 government." In another place the same writer says, "Gen- 
 eral Hamilton has expressed of Colonel Burr opinions still 
 more despicable." 
 
15S ANECDOTES 
 
 The last passage excited the resentment of Colonel Burr, 
 who demanded from General Hamilton " a prompt and un- 
 qualified acknowledgment or denial of the expression, which 
 could justify this interference on the part of Dr. Cooper." 
 General Hamilton admitted the first statement, which he 
 contended was fairly within the bounds prescribed in cases 
 of political animosity, and objected to being called on to re- 
 trace every conversation which he had held either publicly 
 or confidentially in the course of fifteen years' opposition. 
 This would not satisfy Colonel Burr, who demanded satis- 
 faction and a meeting. 
 
 On the evening before the duel, General Hamilton made 
 his will, in which he enclosed a paper containing his opinions 
 of duelling, and expressive of the reluctance with which he 
 obeyed a custom so repugnant to his feelings. He says : 
 
 " On my expected interview with Colonel Burr, I think 
 proper to make some remarks explanatory of my conduct, 
 motives, and views. I was certainly desirous of avoiding 
 this interview, for the most cogent reasons. 
 
 " First. My religious and moral principles are strongly 
 opposed to the practice of duelling ; and it would ever give 
 me pain to shed the blood of a fellow-creature in a private 
 combat forbidden by the laws. 
 
 " Secondly. My wife and children are extremely dear to 
 me ; and my life is of the utmost importance to them, in 
 various views. 
 
 " Thirdly. I feel a sense of obligation towards my cred- 
 itors, who, in case of accident to me, by the forced sale of 
 my property, may be in some degree sufferers. I did not 
 think myself at liberty, as a man of probity, lightly to expose 
 them to hazard. 
 
 11 Fourthly. I am conscious of no ill will to Colonel Bun- 
 distinct from political opposition, which, as I trust, has pro- 
 ceeded from pure and upright motives. 
 
 " Lastly. I shall hazard much, and can possibly gain 
 nothing, by the issue of the interview." 
 
 The parties met, and Colonel Burr's shot took fatal effect. 
 General Hamilton had determined not to return the fire ; but. 
 on receiving the shock of a mortal wound, his pistol went 
 off involuntarily in an opposite direction. Few individuals 
 died more lamented than General Hamilton, whose funeral 
 at New-York was observed at that place with unusual re- 
 spect and ceremony. All the public functionaries attended ; 
 the bells (muffled) tolled during the day; all business was 
 suspended ; and the principal inhabitants wore mourning for 
 
MORAL. 159 
 
 six weeks. No death since that of Washington filled the 
 republic with such deep and universal regret. 
 
 American Congress fifty years ago. — The American 
 Congress, soon after the Declaration of Independence, pass- 
 ed the following resolution : 
 
 " Whereas true religion and good morals are the only solid 
 foundation of public liberty and happiness, 
 
 " Resolved, That it be, and hereby is, earnestly recom- 
 mended to the several states to take the most effectual 
 measures for the encouragement thereof, and for the sup- 
 pression of theatrical entertainments, horse-racing, gaming, 
 and such other diversions as are productive of idleness, dis- 
 sipation, and a general depravity of principles and manners." 
 
 True Courage. — " Coward ! coward !" said James Law- 
 ton to Edward Wilkins, as he pointed his finger at him. 
 Edward's face turned very red, and the tears started in his 
 eyes as he said, " James Lawton, don't call me a coward." 
 " Why don't you fight John Taylor, then, when he dares you ? 
 I would not be dared by any boy." " He is afraid," said 
 Charles Jones, as he put his finger in his eye and pretended 
 to cry. " I am not afraid," said Edward ; and he looked al- 
 most ready to give u*p ; for John Taylor came forward and 
 said, " Come on, then, and show that you are not afraid." 
 A gentleman passing by said, "Why do you not fight the 
 boy ? Tell me the reason." The boys all stood still, while 
 Edward said, " I will not do a wicked thing, sir, if they do 
 call me a coward." " That is right, my noble boy," said the 
 gentleman. " If you fight with that boy, you really disgrace 
 yourself, and will show that you are more afraid of the laugh 
 and ridicule of your companions than of breaking the com- 
 mandments of God. It is more honourable to bear an insult 
 with meekness than to fight about it. Beasts and brutes, 
 which have no reason, know of no other way to avenge 
 themselves ; but God has given you understanding, and 
 though it be hard to be called a coward, and to submit to in- 
 dignity and insult, yet remember the saying of the wise man, 
 * He that ruleth his spirit is greater than he that taketh a city.* 
 Suppose you fight with this boy, and your companions all 
 call you a brave fellow, what will this be when you are called 
 to stand before God ? Many a poor, deluded man has been 
 drawn in to accept a challenge and fight a duel to show his 
 bravery, and thus displayed to all that he was a miserable 
 coward, who was afraid of the sneer and laugh of his com- 
 
160 ANECDOTES. 
 
 panions. Rather follow the example of that brave soldier 
 who, when he was challenged to fight, said, ' I do not fear 
 the cannon's mouth, but I fear God.'" 
 
 The Indian's Reply to a Challenge. — The Indian has 
 more sober sense than the white man. When the white man 
 is challenged by a reckless and desperate enemy, he thinks 
 it is more honourable to shoot his enemy through the heart 
 than decline the combat ; and so fearful is he of the charge 
 of cowardice, that he will take the field, risk his own life, 
 stain his honour with the blood of a once-loved friend, when 
 a candid expression of his feelings would have healed the 
 breach, and restored him in the confidence of his friend. 
 The duellist may possess some physical bravery, but he lacks 
 the moral courage of the Indian, who, when he was chal- 
 lenged, replied : " I have two objections to this duel affair ; 
 the one is lest I should hurt you, and the other is lest you 
 should hurt me. I do not. see any good that it would do me 
 to put a bullet through your body ; I could not make any use 
 of you when dead ; but I could of a rabbit or turkey. As 
 to myself, I think it more sensible to avoid than to put myself 
 in the way of harm ; I am under great apprehension that you 
 might hit me. That being the case, I think it more advisa- 
 ble to stay at a distance. If you warit to try your pistols, 
 take some object, a tree, or anything about my size, and if 
 you hit that, send me word, and I shall acknowledge that if T 
 had been there you might have hit me." 
 
 Curiosity. — A little travelling Frenchman chanced to 
 breakfast at a tavern with a tall, bony Jonathan, who ate 
 voraciously. The Frenchman was astonished, and asked, 
 with a flourishing bow, " Sare, vil you be so polite as to tell 
 me, is dat your breakfass or your dinnair vat you make ?" 
 The Yankee at first made no reply ; but monsieur, not satis- 
 fied, repeated the question. " Go to the d — 1," says Jona- 
 than, feeling himself insulted. A challenge ensued, and the 
 Kentucky rifle proved too much for the little Frenchman's 
 vitality. While he was writhing in his last agonies, Jona- 
 than's compassion was awakened, and he entreated the little 
 Frenchman, if there was anything he could do for him, 
 though it should cost him years to perform it, to let him 
 know, and it should be done. " Oh, monsieur," replied the 
 dying man, "tell me, vas dat your dinnair or your break- 
 fass you did make, and I vill die happy." 
 
 First Duel in America. — The first duel fought in New- 
 
MORAL. 161 
 
 England, North America, was in the year 1630, upon a chal- 
 lenge at single combat, with sword and dagger, between Ed- 
 ward Doty and Edward Leister, servants of a Mr. Hopkins 
 Both were wounded, one in the hand and the other in the 
 thigh. As it was deemed necessary to repress as much as 
 possible such affairs of honour, the two men were sentenced to 
 have their head and feet tied together, and to lie in that con- 
 dition for twenty-four hours, without either meat or drink. 
 This punishment was begun to be inflicted ; but in an hour, 
 on account of the pain they felt, and at their own and their 
 master's request, and promise of good behaviour, they were 
 released by Governor Bradford, who relates this anecdote. 
 
 An Ordinance of Cromwell against Duelling. — "It 
 is enacted, That if any person should challenge or cause to 
 be challenged, or accept, or knowingly carry a challenge, to 
 fight a duel, he shall be committed to prison without bail for 
 six months, and find security for his good behaviour for one 
 whole year after. Persons challenged, not discovering it in 
 twenty-four hours afterward, to be deemed acceptors. Fight- 
 ing a duel, if death shall ensue, to be adjudged murder. The 
 seconds, in the last case, to be deemed principals, and in 
 every other to be banished from the Commonwealth for life, 
 and to sutler death in case of return. Cromwell. 
 
 " Whitehall, 1654, A. S." 
 
 WAR. 
 
 A Warrior's Opinion of War.— The following is sin- 
 gular language to be used by a brother of Napoleon. It is 
 from an answer of Louis Bonaparte to Sir Walter Scott : 
 
 " I have been enthusiastic and joyful as any one after a 
 battle ; but I also confess that the sight of a battle-field has 
 not only struck me with horror, but turned me sick ; and now 
 that I am advanced in life, I cannot understand any more 
 than I could at fifteen years of age, how beings, who call 
 themselves reasonable and have so much foresight, can em- 
 ploy this short existence, not in loving and aiding, but in 
 putting an end to each other's existence, as if Time did not 
 himself do this with sufficient rapidity. What I thought at 
 fifteen years of age I still think ; ' wars, with the pain of 
 death, which society draws upon itself, are but organized 
 barbarisms, an inheritance of the savage state,' disguised and 
 ornamented by an ingenious institution and false eloquence.'* 
 
 X 
 
'62 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Cause of the American Revolution. — When the late 
 President Adams was minister at the court of St James, he 
 often saw his countryman, Benjamin West, the late Presi- 
 dent of the Royal Academy. One day Mr. West asked his 
 friend if he should like to take a walk with him and see the 
 cause of the American revolution. The minister smiled at 
 the proposal, and said he should like to accompany, his friend 
 West anywhere. The following day he called, according to 
 agreement, and took Mr. Adams into Hyde Park, to a spot 
 near the Serpentine River, where he gave him the following 
 narrative : The king came to the throne a young man, sur- 
 rounded by flattering courtiers ; one of whose frequent topics 
 it was to declaim against the meanness of his palace, which 
 was wholly unworthy a monarch of such a country as Eng- 
 land. They said there was not a sovereign in Europe lodged 
 so poorly ; that his sorry, dingy old brick palace of St. 
 James looked like a stable ; and that he ought to build a 
 palace suited to his kingdom. The king was fond of archi- 
 tecture, and would, therefore, more readily listen to sugges- 
 tions which were, in fact, all true. The spot that you see 
 here was selected for the site, between this and this point, 
 which was marked out. The king applied to his ministers 
 on the subject. They inquired what sum would be wanted 
 by his majesty, who said that he would begin with a million. 
 They stated the expenses of the war and the poverty of the 
 treasury, but that his majesty's wishes should be taken into 
 full consideration. Some time afterward the king was in- 
 formed that the wants of the treasury were too urgent to ad- 
 mit of a supply from their present means, but that a revenue 
 might be raised in America to supply all the king's wishes. 
 This suggestion was followed up ; and the king was in this 
 way first led to consider, and then to consent to, the scheme 
 of taxing the colonies. 
 
 Profit of War. — Two boys going home one day, found 
 a box in the road, and disputed who was the finder. They 
 fought a whole afternoon without coming to a decision. At 
 last they agreed to divide the contents equally ; but, on open- 
 ing the box, lo and behold ! it was empty. Few wars have 
 been more profitable than this to the parties concerned. 
 
 The Reward of War. — The Duke of Marlborough ob 
 serving a soldier leaning pensively on the butt-end of his 
 musket, just after victory had declared itself in favour of the 
 British arms at the battle of Blenheim, accosted him thus : 
 " Why so pensive, my friend, after so glorious a victory ?" 
 
MORAL. 163 
 
 " It may be glorious," replied the brave fellow, " but I am 
 thinking that all the human blood I have spilled this day 
 has only earned mefourpence." 
 
 " Immense and dreadful Profanation." — Oliver Crom- 
 well, the very "pink of purity" in his day, with pious sanc- 
 tity inscribed upon the mouths of his cannon, " Lord, open 
 thou our lips, and our mouth shall show forth thy praise." 
 Did he live in our day, the " moral discernment" of the age 
 would thunder in his ears louder than his artillery. 
 
 Stratagem of Colonel Washington. — Being on a fora 
 ging excursion, this active officer had penetrated within thir- 
 teen miles of Camden, to Clermont, the seat of Colonel Ruge- 
 ly, of the British militia. This was fortified by a blockhouse, 
 encompassed by an abatis, and defended by one hundred in- 
 habitants, who had submitted to the royal government. Col- 
 onel Washington advanced before it, mounted the trunk of a 
 pine-tree on wagon-wheels, so as to resemble a field-piece, 
 and peremptorily demanded a surrender. The stratagem had 
 the desired effect. Dreading a cannonade, the garrison in- 
 stantly obeyed the summons, without a shot having been 
 fired on either side. 
 
 Bonaparte. — Kleber designated him as a chief who 
 had two faults ; that of advancing without considering how 
 he should retreat, and of seizing without considering how 
 he should retain. He had said, Let war feed war. It did 
 so, and Russia spread her tablecloth of snow to receive the 
 fragments of the feast. But all this energy and all this tal- 
 ent were clouded by a perfect want of principle ; he knew 
 he had none himself, and here he was right; but he thence 
 concluded that all others had none, and here he was often 
 wrong. 
 
 Pirate's Defence. — Alexander the Great was about to 
 pass sentence of death on a noted pirate, but previously 
 asked him, "Why dost thou trouble the seas?" "Why," 
 rejoined the rover, boldly, "dost thou trouble the whole 
 world ? I with one ship go in quest of solitary adventures, 
 and am therefore called pirate ; thou with a great army 
 warrest against nations, and therefore art called emperor. 
 Sir, there is no difference between us but in the name and 
 means of doing mischief." Alexander, so far from being 
 displeased with the freedom of the culprit, was so impressed 
 with the force of his appeal that he dismissed him unpunished. 
 
164 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Veteran Corps. — During the American war, eighty old 
 German soldiers, who, after having long served under differ- 
 ent monarchs in Europe, had retired to America, and con- 
 verted their swords into ploughshares, voluntarily formed 
 themselves into a company, and distinguished themselves in 
 various actions in the cause of independence. The captain 
 was nearly one hundred years old, had been in the army 
 forty years, and present in seventeen battles. The drummer 
 was ninety-four, and the youngest man in the corps on the 
 verge of seventy. Instead of a cockade, each man wore a 
 piece of black crape, as a mark of sorrow for being obliged, 
 at so advanced a period of life, to bear arms. " But," said 
 the veterans, " we should be deficient in gratitude if we did 
 not act in defence of a country which has afforded us a gen- 
 erous asylum, and protected us from tyranny and oppres- 
 sion." Such a band of soldiers never before, perhaps, ap- 
 peared in a field of battle. 
 
 HORRORS OF WAR. 
 
 Conflagration of Moscow, September 14, 1812. — 
 The French entered Moscow on the 14th of September, but 
 they possessed only a heap of smoking ruins. A degree of 
 mystery hangs over the conflagration of this ancient city; 
 whether it was occasioned by the inhabitants, or in conse- 
 quence of the defence made by them and the bombardment 
 of the French, is yet doubtful. The fact, however, is cer- 
 tain, and the grand effects of this destruction are of the most 
 consoling nature. It is impossible, however, to contemplate 
 without horror an event which deprived two hundred thou- 
 sand persons of their homes and possessions, and consigned 
 to the agonizing tortures of the flames many thousands of 
 persons, including a large number of sick and wounded sol- 
 diers who had bled in the defence of their country. 
 
 The retreat of the French from Moscow exhibits a picture 
 of disaster and human misery dreadful and horrific almost be- 
 yond example. It is stated that the cold from the 6th of No- 
 vember was so intense, that in a few days more than 30,000 
 horses perished ; the cavalry was dismounted, and the bag- 
 gage without the means of conveyance. From the 9th to 
 the 18th of November, Bonaparte lost, without counting the 
 killed and wounded, 11 generals, 243 officers, 34,000 rank 
 and file in prisoners, 250 pieces of cannon, and four stand- 
 
MORAL. 165 
 
 ards, besides baggage, &c. The total loss to France and 
 her allies in this campaign has been estimated at 400,000 
 men killed, disabled, and prisoners, and 5,900,000Z. of prop- 
 erty in equipments, &c, &c. 
 
 The loss of the Russians in soldiers (killed, wounded, 
 and prisoners), may be stated at 130,000, to which must be 
 added 70,000 persons burned and destroyed in various ways 
 at Moscow ; the loss of Russian property cannot be less than 
 108,100,000/. Severe as these sacrifices appear to be, the 
 safety and independence of Russia have been established ; 
 and we cannot sufficiently admire the patriotism and the 
 courage of all ranks, from the prince to the peasant, in their 
 united determination not only to resist, but to vanquish the 
 common enemy. 
 
 In a German publication, the loss of men during the late 
 war, from 1802 to 1813, in St. Domingo, Calabria, Russia, 
 Poland, France, Spain, Portugal, Germany, &c, including 
 the maritime war, contagious diseases, famine, &c, is stated 
 to amount to the dreadful sum of Jive millions eight hundred 
 thousand ! ! ! 
 
 In the battle of Moskwa, September 7, 1812, the French 
 lost above 30,000 men, the Russians nearly 50,000. 
 
 An account of the wars between England and France, 
 with the terms of their duration, since the one which com- 
 menced in 1110, and which continued two years; 1141, one 
 year; 1161, twenty -five years; 1211, fifteen years; 1224, 
 nineteen years ; 1294, five years; 1332, twenty-one years ; 
 1368, fifty-two years; 1422, forty-nine years; 1492, one 
 month; 1512, two years ; 1521, six years; 1549, one year ; 
 1557, two years ; 1562, two years ; 1627, two years ; 1665, 
 one year ; 1689, ten years ; 1702, eleven years ; 1744, four 
 years; 1756, seven years; 1776, seven years; 1793, nine 
 years ; and lastly, in 1803, near eleven years ; making with- 
 in a period of 704 years, 270 years of war, of which 27 
 fell within the reign of George III. 
 
 The Battle of Marathon. — While the Persians, after 
 the reign of Cyrus, became enervated by luxury and servitude, 
 the Athenians were nobly animated by the freedom they had 
 so recently recovered. It was this that enabled Miltiades in 
 the plains of Marathon, with only ten thousand Athenians, 
 to overcome the Persian army of a hundred thousand foot 
 and ten thousand cavalry. This memorable battle, which 
 was fought in the year 490 before Christ, reflected the high- 
 
166 ANECDOTES. 
 
 est glory on Miltiades. To prevent his little army from 
 being surrounded by the enemy, he drew it up in front of a 
 mountain, extended his line as much as possible, placed his 
 chief strength in his wings, and caused a great number of 
 trees to be cut down, to prevent the enemy's cavalry from 
 charging them in the flank. 
 
 The Athenians rushed forward on the Persians like so 
 many furious lions. This is remarked to have been the first 
 time that they advanced to the attack running ; but by their 
 impetuosity they opened a lane through the enemy, and sup- 
 ported with the greatest firmness the attacks of the Persians. 
 The battle was at first fought by both parties with great 
 valour and obstinacy ; but the wings of the Athenian army 
 attacking the main body of the enemy in flank, threw them 
 into irretrievable confusion. Six thousand Persians perished 
 on the spot, and among the rest the traitor Hippias, the 
 principal cause of the war. The rest of the Persian army 
 fled quickly, and abandoned to the victors their camp full of 
 riches. 
 
 Animated by their success, they pursued the Persians to 
 their very ships, of which they took seven, and set fire to 
 several more. On this occasion one Cynegirus, an Athe- 
 nian, after performing prodigies of valour in the field, en- 
 deavoured to prevent a particular galley from putting to sea, 
 and for that purpose held it fast with his right hand ; when 
 his right hand was cut off, he then seized the galley with 
 his left, which being also cut off, he took hold of it with his 
 teeth, and kept it so until he died. Another soldier, all cov- 
 ered with the blood of the enemy, ran to announce the vic- 
 tory at Athens ; and after crying out, " Rejoice, we are con- 
 querors !" fell dead in the presence of his fellow-citizens. 
 The Greeks in this engagement lost only two hundred men. 
 
 Indian Chief. — " Father," said the Indian chief, Captain 
 Pipe, to the British commanding officer at Detroit in 1801, 
 11 here is what has been done with the hatchet you gave me" 
 (handing a stick with a scalp on it). " I have done with the 
 hatchet what you ordered me to do, and found it sharp. 
 Nevertheless, I did not do all that I might have done. No, 
 I did not. My heart failed within me. I felt compassion 
 for your enemy. Innocence (women and children) had no 
 part in your quarrels, therefore I distinguished, I spared. 
 I took some live-Jlesh (prisoners), which, while I was bring- 
 ing to you, I spied one of your large canoes, in which I put 
 it for you. In a few days you will receive this flesh, and 
 
MORAL. 167 
 
 find that the skin is of the same colour with your own 
 Father, I hope you will not destroy what I have saved. 
 You, father, have the means of preserving that which with 
 me would perish for want. The warrior is poor, and his 
 cabin is always empty ; but your house, father, is always 
 full." 
 
 Massacre at Wyoming. — The following account of the 
 devastation of the flourishing settlement of Wyoming, in 
 July, 1778, and the massacre of its inhabitants by a party 
 of tories and Indians, under the command of the infamous 
 Colonel Butler and Brandt, a half-blooded Indian, is thus 
 related by Mrs. Willard in her History of the United States. 
 
 " The devastation of the flourishing settlement of Wy- 
 oming by a band of Indians and tories was marked by the 
 most demoniac cruelties. This settlement consisted of eight 
 towns on the banks of the Susquehanna, and was one of 
 the most flourishing as well as delightful places in America. 
 But even in this peaceful spot the inhabitants were not ex- 
 empt from the baneful influence of party spirit. Although 
 the majority were devoted to the cause of their country, yet 
 the loyalists were numerous. Several persons had been ar- 
 rested as tories, and sent to the proper authorities for trial 
 This excited the indignation of their party, and they deter- 
 mined upon revenge. They united with the Indians, and 
 resorting to artifice, pretended to desire to cultivate peace 
 with the inhabitants of Wyoming, while they were making 
 every preparation for their meditated vengeance. The youth 
 at Wyoming were at this time with the army, and but five hun- 
 dred men capable of defending the settlement remained. The 
 inhabitants had constructed four forts for their security, into 
 which these men were distributed. In the month of July, 
 1600 Indians and tories, under the command of Butler and 
 Brandt, appeared on the banks of the Susquehanna. Two 
 of the forts nearest the frontier immediately surrendered to 
 them. The savages spared the women and children, but 
 butchered the rest of their prisoners without exception. 
 They then surrounded Kingston, the principal fort, and to 
 dismay the garrison, hurled irto the place two hundred scalps 
 still reeking with blood. Coionel Denison, knowing it to be 
 impossible to defend the fort, demanded of Butler what terms 
 would be allowed the garrison if they surrendered ; he an- 
 swered, " the hatchet. They attempted further resistance, 
 but were soon compelled to surrender. Enclosing the men, 
 women, and children in houses and barracks, they set fire 
 to these, and the miserable wretches were all consumed- 
 
168 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " The fort of Wilkesbarre still remained in the power of 
 the republicans ; but the garrison, learning the fate of the 
 others, surrendered without resistance, hoping in this way 
 to obtain mercy. But submission could not soften the hearts 
 of these unfeeling monsters, and their atrocities were re- 
 newed. They then devastated the country, burned their 
 dwellings, and consigned their crops to the flames. The 
 tories appeared to surpass even the savages in barbarity. 
 The nearest ties of consanguinity were disregarded ; and 
 it is asserted that a mother was murdered by the hand of 
 her own son. None escaped but a few women and children ; 
 and these, dispersed and wandering in the forests, without 
 food and without clothes, were not the least worthy of com- 
 miseration." 
 
 Colours Saved. — In a Scottish regiment at the battle of 
 Waterloo, the standard-bearer was killed, and clasped the 
 colours so fast in death, that a sergeant, in trying to no pur- 
 pose to rescue them, on the near approach of the enemy 
 made a violent effort ; and throwing the dead corpse, colours 
 and all, over his shoulders, carried them off together. The 
 French, seeing this, were charmed with the heroism of the 
 action, and hailed it with clapping and repeated shouts of 
 applause. 
 
 What an evidence of human weakness and depravity ' 
 " Colours Saved," but how many souls lost ! ! 
 
 JUSTICE. 
 
 The Conscientious Judge. — Sir Matthew Hale, when 
 chief baron of the exchequer, was very exact and impartial 
 in his administration of justice. He would never receive 
 any private addresses or recommendations from the greatest 
 persons in any matter in which justice was concerned. One 
 of the first peers of England went once to his chamber, and 
 told him " that, having a suit in law to be tried before him, 
 he was then to acquaint him with it, that he might the bet- 
 ter understand it when it should come to be heard in court." 
 Upon which Sir Matthew interrupted him, and said "he 
 did not deal fairly to come to his chamber about such affairs, 
 for he never received any information of causes but in open 
 court, where both parties were to be heard alike," so he 
 would not suffer him to go on. Whereupon his grace (for 
 
MORAL. 169 
 
 he was a duke) went away not a little dissatisfied, and com- 
 plained of it to the king as a rudeness that was not to be 
 endured. But his majesty bade him content himself that he 
 was no worse used, and said " he verily believed he would 
 have used himself no better if he had gone to solicit him 
 in any of his own causes." 
 
 Another passage fell out in one of his circuits, which was 
 somewhat censured as an affectation of unreasonable strict- 
 ness ; but it flowed from the exactness to the rules he had set 
 himself. A gentleman had sent him a buck for his table that 
 had a trial at the assizes ; so, when he heard his name, he 
 asked " if he was not the same person that had sent him 
 venison." And finding that he was the same, he told him 
 " he could not suffer the trial to go on till he had paid him 
 for his buck." To which the gentleman answered " that he 
 never sold his venison, and that he had done nothing to him 
 which he did not do to every judge that had gone that cir- 
 cuit," which was confirmed by several gentlemen then pres- 
 ent ; but all would not do, for the lord chief baron had learned 
 from Solomon that " a gift perverteth the ways of judgment ;" 
 and therefore he would not suffer the trial to go on till he 
 had paid for the present; upon which the gentleman with 
 drew the record. And at Salisbury, the dean and chapter 
 having, according to custom, presented him with six sugar 
 loaves in his circuit, he made his servants pay for the sugar 
 before he would try their cause. 
 
 The Inflexible Juryman. — In the trial of the famous 
 William Penn and William Mead, at the Old Bailey, for an 
 unlawful assembly in the open street, in contempt of the 
 king's laws, &c, we find a striking instance of the inflexible 
 justice of the jury. After the jury had withdrawn an hour 
 and a half, the prisoners were brought to the bar to hear their 
 verdict ; eight of them came down agreed, but four remained 
 above, to whom they used many unworthy threats, and par- 
 ticularly to Mr. Bushel, whom they charged with being the 
 cause of the disagreement. At length, after withdrawing a 
 second time, they agreed to bring them in guilty of speaking 
 in Grace-church-street, which the court would not accept for 
 a verdict, but, after many menaces, told them they should be 
 locked up, without meat, drink, fire, or tobacco ; nay, they 
 should starve unless they brought in a proper verdict. Wil- 
 liam Penn, being at the bar, said, " My jury ought not to be 
 thus threatened. We were by force of arms kept out of our 
 meeting-house, and met as near it as the soldiers would give 
 
 Y 8 
 
170 ANECDOTES. 
 
 us leave. We are a peaceable people, and cannot offer vi- 
 olence to any man." And looking upon the jury, he said, 
 " You are Englishmen ; mind your privilege ; give not away 
 your right. 1 ' To which some of them answered, " Nor will 
 we ever do it." Upon this they were shut up all night, with- 
 out victuals or fire, nor so much as a chamber utensil, though 
 desired. Next morning they brought in the same verdict ; 
 upon which they were threatened with the utmost resent- 
 ments. The mayor said he would cut Bushel's throat as 
 soon as he could. The recorder said "he never knew the 
 benefit of an inquisition till now ; and that the next sessions 
 of parliament a law would be made, wherein those who would 
 not conform should not have the benefit of the law. The 
 court having obliged the jury to withdraw again, they were 
 kept without meat and drink till next morning, when they 
 brought in the prisoners not guilty ; for which they were 
 fined forty marks a man, and to be imprisoned till paid. The 
 prisoners were also remanded to Newgate, for their fines in 
 not pulling off their hats. The jury, after some time, were 
 discharged by habeas corpus, returnable in the Common 
 Pleas, where their commitment was judged illegal. This 
 was a noble stand for the liberty of the subject in very dan- 
 gerous times, when neither law nor equity availed anything. 
 
 The Divine Law Magnified. — The story of Zeleucus, 
 prince of the Locrians, is well known. To show his abhor- 
 rence of adultery, and his determination to execute the law 
 he had enacted, condemning the adulterer to the loss of both 
 his eyes ; and, at the same time, to evince his love to his 
 son, who had committed that crime, he willingly submitted 
 to lose one of his own eyes, and ordered, at the same time, 
 one of his son's to be put out. Now what adulterer could 
 hope to escape, when power was vested in a man whom 
 neither self-love, nor natural affection in all its force, could 
 induce to dispense with the law, or relax the rigour of its 
 sentence ? So in God's way of saving sinners, the language 
 both of the Father and the Son is manifestly and most em- 
 phatically, " Let the law be magnified and be made honour 
 able in the sight of the whole universe." 
 
 The Irritated Magistrate. — Magistrates are in the 
 Scriptures designated gods ; and if such be their title, what 
 ought to be their conduct? God hath set them in the chair 
 of justice and lent them his name. When the rude soldiers 
 saw the senators at Rome sitting gravely in their robes, they 
 
MORAL. 171 
 
 looked upon them as gods ; but as soon as one of them be- 
 came irritated, and showed his temper, they took them for 
 men. Thus it will be with all magistrates : as long as they 
 act with dignity, justice, gravity, and equity, they will be 
 honoured as gods ; but if once they discover the fears, pre- 
 judices, and partialities of men, they will grow into contempt 
 even with their friends. Claudius was at first a just judge, 
 but his wife and servants ruined his principles. 
 
 Responsibility of Judges in Holland. — A servant-girl 
 was erroneously convicted at Middleburg of robbing her mas- 
 ter; the property was found locked up in her box: her mis- 
 tress had placed it there. She was flogged, brand-marked, 
 and confined to hard labour in the rasp-house. While she 
 was suffering her sentence, the guilt of her mistress was dis- 
 covered. The mistress was prosecuted, condemned to the 
 severest scourging, a double brand, and hard labour for life. 
 The sentence was reversed, and a heavy fine inflicted on the 
 tribunal, and given to the innocent sufferer as an indemnifi- 
 cation. 
 
 Madame de Maintenon. — Madame de Maintenon one 
 day asked Louis XIV. for some money to distribute in alms. 
 " Alas ! madame," said the king, " what I give in alms are 
 merely fresh burdens upon my people. The more money I 
 give away, the more I take from them." " This, sire," re- 
 plied Madame de Maintenon, " is true ; but it is right to ease 
 the wants of those whom your former taxes to supply the 
 expenses of your wars have reduced to misery. It is truly 
 just that those who have been ruined by you should be sup- 
 ported by you." 
 
 Petition of the HoRSE.-^-In the days of John, king of 
 Atri (an ancient city of Abruzzo), there was a bell put up, 
 which any one that had received any injury we-nt and rang, 
 and the king assembled the wise men chosen for the pur- 
 pose, that justice might be done. It happened that, after the 
 bell had been up a long time, the rope was worn out, and a 
 piece of wild vine was made use of to lengthen it. Now 
 there was a knight of Atri who had a noble charger, which 
 had become unserviceable through age, so that, to avoid the 
 expense of feeding him, he turned him loose upon the com- 
 mon. The horse, driven by hunger, raised his mouth to the 
 vine to munch it, and, pulling it, the bell rang. The judges 
 assembled to consider the petition of the horse, which ap- 
 
172 ANECDOTES. 
 
 peared to demand justice. They decreed that the knight 
 whom he had served in his youth should feed him in his old 
 age; a sentence which the king confirmed under a heavy 
 penalty. 
 
 Solon. — Anacharsis was wont to deride the endeavours 
 of Solon, whose code of laws superseded the bloody one of 
 Draco, to repress the evil passions of his fellow-citizens with 
 a few words, which, said he, " are no better than spider's 
 webs, which the strong will break through at pleasure." 
 
 "So like a fly the poor offender dies, 
 But like the wasp, the rich escapes and flies." 
 
 Denham. 
 
 The reply of Solon was worthy of the lawgiver of a refined 
 people. " Men," said he, " will be sure to stand to those 
 covenants which will bring evident disadvantages to the in- 
 fringers of them. I have so framed and tempered the laws 
 of Athens, that it shall manifestly appear to all that it is 
 more for their interest strictly to observe, than in anything 
 to violate and infringe them." 
 
 Socrates. — While Athens was governed by the thirty 
 tyrants, Socrates the philosopher was summoned to the 
 senate-house, and ordered to go with some other persons 
 whom they named to seize one Leon, a man of rank and for- 
 tune, whom they determined to put out of the way, that they 
 might enjoy his estate. This commission Socrates positively 
 refused. " I will not willingly," said he, " assist in an unjust 
 act." Chericles sharply replied, " Dost thou think, Socra- 
 tes, to talk in this high tone, and not to suffer ?" " Far from 
 it," replied he ; "I expect to suffer a thousand ills, but none 
 so great as to do unjustly." 
 
 Aristides. — A tragedy by iEschylus was once represent- 
 ed before the Athenians, in which it was said of one of the 
 characters, " that he cared not more to be just than to appear 
 so." At these words all eyes were instantly turned upon 
 Aristides as the man who, of all the Greeks, most merited 
 that distinguished character. Ever after he received, by 
 universal consent, the surname of the Just ; a title, says Plu- 
 tarch, truly royal, or, rather, truly divine. This remarkable 
 distinction roused envy, and envy prevailed so far as to pro- 
 cure his banishment for ten years upon the unjust suspicion 
 that his influence with the people was dangerous to their 
 freedom. When the sentence was passed by his country* 
 
MORAL. 173 
 
 men, Aristides himself was present in the midst of them, and 
 a stranger who stood near, and could not write, applied to 
 him to write for him in his shell. " What name ?" asked the 
 philosopher. " Aristides," replied the stranger. " Do you 
 know him, then," said Aristides, " or has he in any way in- 
 jured you V " Neither," said the other ; " but it is for this 
 very thing I would he were condemned. I can go nowhere 
 but I hear of Aristides the Just." Aristides inquired no fur- 
 ther, but took the shell and wrote his name in it as desired. 
 
 The absence of Aristides soon dissipated the apprehen- 
 sions which his countrymen had so idly imbibed. He was 
 in a short time recalled, and for many years after took a lead- 
 ing part in the affairs of the republic, without showing the 
 least resentment against his enemies, or seeking any other 
 gratification than that of serving his country with fidelity and 
 honour. His disregard for money was strikingly manifested 
 at his death ; for though he was frequently treasurer as well 
 as general, he scarcely left sufficient to defray the expense 
 of his burial. 
 
 The virtues of Aristides did not pass without reward. He 
 had two daughters, who were educated at the expense of 
 the state, and to whom portions were allotted from the pub- 
 lic treasury. 
 
 Aristides being judge between two private persons, one ot 
 them declared that his adversary had greatly injured Aristi- 
 des. " Relate rather, good friend," said he, interrupting him, 
 " what wrong he hath done thee, for it is thy cause, not mine, 
 that I now sit judge of." 
 
 Being desired by Simonides, the poet, who had a cause 
 to try before him, to stretch a point in his favour, he replied, 
 " As you would not be a good poet if your lines ran contrary 
 to the just measures and rules of your art, so neither should 
 I be a good judge or an honest man if I decided aught in 
 opposition to law and justice." 
 
 A judge suspected of bribery checked his clerk for hav- 
 ing a dirty face. " I plead guilty, my lord," said the clerk ; 
 " but my hands are clean." • • 
 
 Litigation. — Lord Erskine, when at the bar, and at the 
 time when his professional talents were most eminent and 
 popular, having been applied to by his friend Dr. Parr for 
 his opinion upon a subject likely to be litigated by him, af- 
 ter recommending the doctor " to accommodate the differ- 
 
174 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ence amicably," concluded his letter by observing, " I can 
 scarcely figure to myself a situation in which a lawsuit is 
 not, if possible, to be avoided." 
 
 Lawyer and Client. — It is said that in former days ai 
 eminent counsellor was called on for his professional advice 
 by a countryman, who entered on the consultation thus : 
 
 "Mr. A , my father died , and made his will." The 
 
 lawyer professed himself utterly unable to understand him ; 
 the countryman in vain endeavoured to make himself under- 
 stood, and took his departure, surprised at the dulness of 
 one reputed to be singularly acute. Meeting with a friend, 
 he expressed to him his disappointment; his friend, more 
 knowing, at once inquired whether he had given a retaining 
 fee to the lawyer. " No," was the reply; " I left that for 
 another opportunity." His friend advised him to return, and 
 by no means to postpone that preliminary step. He did so ; 
 placed a shining guinea in the learned man's hand, and be- 
 gan once more : " My father died, and made his will." The 
 lawyer stopped him, saying, " Oh ! I understand you now ; 
 you mean, your father made his will, and then died" From 
 that time forward the client found no cause to complain that 
 his counsel was either dull of apprehension or negligent of 
 his interests. Hints should not be thrown away. 
 
 Acquittal Extraordinary. — Mrs. Minty Graham was 
 lately tried on an indictment as a common scold. After a 
 tedious examination of numerous witnesses, and a zealous 
 prosecution and elaborate defence by able counsel, the jury 
 retired, and soon returned with a verdict of Not Guilty. It 
 satisfactorily appeared in evidence that she was an uncom- 
 mon scold. 
 
 Humane Juryman. — " Look at the juryman in the blue 
 coat," said one of the Old Bailey judges to Justice Nares ; 
 "do you see him?" "Yes." "Well, we shall not have a 
 single conviction to-day for any capital offence." The ob- 
 servation was verified. This fact was related by Mr. Justice 
 Nares himself to a magistrate of London. 
 
 Long Suit. — The longest suit on record in England is 
 one which existed between the heirs of Sir Thomas Talbot, 
 Viscount Lisle, and the heirs of a Lord Berkeley, respecting 
 some property in the county of Gloucester, not far from 
 Wotton-under-edge. It began at the end of the reign of Ed- 
 
MORAL. 175 
 
 ward the Fourth, and was depending until the beginning of 
 that of James the First, when it was finally compounded, be- 
 ing a period of not less than one hundred and twenty years ! ! ! 
 
 Exaggeration. — A man was brought before Lord Mans 
 field, when on the home circuit, charged with stealing a sil- 
 ver ladle ; and, in the course of the evidence, the counsel 
 for the crown was rather severe upon the prisoner for being 
 an attorney. " Come, come," said his lordship, in a whisper 
 to the counsel, " don't exaggerate matters ; if the fellow had 
 been an attorney, you may depend on it he would have stolen 
 the bowl as well as the ladle." 
 
 Accusation and Acquittal. — A person looking over the 
 catalogue of professional gentlemen of our bar, with his pen- 
 cil wrote against the name of one who is of the bustling or- 
 der, " Has been accused of possessing talents ;" another, see- 
 ing the accusation, immediately wrote under the charge, 
 " Has been tried and acquitted." 
 
 Deny Everything, and Insist upon Proof. — Lawyer 
 Acmoody figured at the bar in Essex county, Massachusetts, 
 something like half a century ago. He had a student named 
 Varnum, who, having just completed his studies, was jour 
 neying to a distant town in company with his master. Ac- 
 moody, on his way, observed to his student, " Varnum, you 
 have now been with me three years, and finished your stu- 
 dies ; but there is one important part of a lawyer's practice 
 of great consequence that I have never mentioned." " What 
 is that ?" inquired the student. " I will tell it," replied A., 
 "provided you will pay expenses at the next tavern." The 
 student agreed, and Acmoody imparted the maxim at the 
 head of this article. The supper, &c, were procured ; and, 
 on preparing to set off from the tavern, Acmoody reminded 
 Varnum that he had engaged to pay the bill. " Ideny every- 
 thing, and insist upon proof" retorted Varnum. The joke 
 was so good that Acmoody concluded it best to pay the bill 
 himself. 
 
 Bon Mot. — Mr. Bethel, an Irish counsellor, as celebrated 
 for his wit as his practice, was once robbed of a suit of 
 clothes in rather an extraordinary manner. Meeting, on the 
 next day after, a brother barrister in the Hall of the Four 
 Courts, the latter began to condole with him on his misfor- 
 tune, mingling some expressions of surprise at the singu- 
 
176 ANECDOTES. 
 
 larity of the thing. " It is extraordinary, indeed, my deai 
 friend," replied Bethel, " for, without vanity, I may say it is 
 the first suit I ever lost." 
 
 Counsel and Witnesses. — A gentleman who was se- 
 verely cross-examined by Mr. Dunning, was repeatedly asked 
 if he did not lodge in the verge of the court ; at length he 
 answered that he did. " And pray, sir," said the counsel, 
 " for what reason did you take up your residence in that 
 place ?" " To avoid the rascally impertinence of dunning? 
 answered the witness. 
 
 Mistaking Sides. — A Scottish advocate (we believe the 
 
 present Lord H d), who had drank rather freely, was 
 
 called on unexpectedly to plead in a cause in which he had 
 been retained. The lawyer mistook the party for whom he 
 was engaged ; and, to the great amazement of the agent who 
 had feed him, and the absolute horror of the poor client who 
 was in court, he delivered a long and fervent speech, directly 
 opposite to the interests he had been called upon to defend 
 Such was his zeal, that no whispered remonstrance, no jost 
 ling of the elbow could stop him, in medio gurgite dicendi. 
 But, just as he was about to sit down, the trembling solicitor 
 in a brief note informed him that he had been pleading for 
 the wrong party. This intimation, which would have dis- 
 concerted most men, had a very different effect on the advo- 
 cate, who, with an air of infinite composure, resumed his ora- 
 tion. " Such, my lords," said he, " is the statement which 
 you will probably hear from my learned brother on the op- 
 posite side in this cause. I shall now, therefore, beg leave, 
 in a few words, to show your lordship how utterly untenable 
 are the principles and how distorted are the facts upon 
 which this very specious statement has proceeded." The 
 learned gentleman then went over the whole ground, and 
 did rkot take his seat until he had completely and energeti- 
 cally refuted the whole of his former pleading. 
 
 A similar circumstance happened in the Rolrs Court, on 
 the eleventh of July, 1788. 
 
 Mr. A., an eminent counsel, received a brief in court a 
 short time before the cause was called on, for the purpose 
 of opposing the prayer of a petition. Mr. A., conceiving him- 
 self to be the petitioner, spoke very ably in support of the 
 petition, and was followed by a counsel on the same side. 
 The Master of the Rolls then inquired who opposed the pe- 
 tition. Mr. A., having by this time discovered his mistake, 
 
MORAL. 177 
 
 rose in much confusion, and said that he felt really much 
 ashamed for a blunder into which he had fallen, but that, in- 
 stead of supporting the petition, it was his business to have 
 opposed it. The Master of the Rolls, with great good-hu- 
 mour, desired him to proceed now on the other side, observ- 
 ing that he knew no counsel who could answer his argu- 
 ments so well as himself. 
 
 Peter the Great. — Peter the Great being at Westmin- 
 ster Hall in term time, and seeing multitudes of people 
 swarming about the courts of law, is reported to have asked 
 some about him "what all those busy people were, and what 
 they were about." And being answered, "They are law- 
 yers," " Lawyers !" returned he, with great vivacity, " why, 
 I have but four in my whole kingdom, and I design to hang 
 two of them as soon as I get home." 
 
 FORBEARANCE AND KINDNESS. 
 
 Anger and revenge are uneasy passions ; " hence," says 
 Seed, " it appears that the command of loving our enemies, 
 which has been thought a hard saying and impossible to be 
 fulfilled, is really no more, when resolved into its first prin- 
 ciples, than bidding us to be at peace with ourselves, which 
 we cannot be so long as we continue at enmity with others." 
 
 The heathens themselves saw the reasonableness of the 
 spirit which we are now inculcating, and approved of it. It 
 is said concerning Julius Caesar, that upon any provocation 
 he would repeat the Roman alphabet before he would suffer 
 himself to speak, that he might be more just and calm in 
 his resentments, and also that he could forget nothing but 
 wrongs, and remember nothing but benefits. 
 
 " It becomes a man," says the Emperor Antoninus, " to 
 love even those that offend him." "A man hurts himself," 
 says Epictetus, " by injuring me ; and what then ? Shall I 
 therefore hurt myself by injuring him ?" " In benefits," 
 says Seneca, " it is a disgrace to be outdone ; in injuries, to 
 get the better." Another heathen, when he was angry with 
 one by him, said, " I would beat thee, but I am angry." 
 
 Philip. — Philip, king of Macedon, discovered great mod- 
 eration, even when spoken to in shocking and injurious 
 terms. At the close of an audience which he gave to some 
 
 Z 
 
178 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Athenian ambassadors who were come to complain of some 
 act of hostility, he asked whether he could do them any ser- 
 vice. " The greatest service thou couldst do us," said De- 
 mochares, " will be to hang thyself." Philip, though he 
 perceived all the persons present were highly offended at 
 these words, made the following answer, with the utmost 
 calmness of temper : " Go ; tell your superiors that those 
 who dare make use of such insolent language are more 
 haughty and less peaceably inclined than those who can for- 
 give them." 
 
 Mr. Burkitt. — Mr. Burkitt observes in his journal, that 
 some persons would never have had a particular share in his 
 prayers but for the injuries they had done him. This re- 
 minds me of an exemplary passage concerning Mr. Law- 
 rence's once goingf, with some of his sons, by the house of 
 a gentleman that had been injurious to him. He gave a 
 charge to his sons to this purpose : " That they should never 
 think or speak amiss of that gentleman for the sake of any- 
 thing he had done against him ; but, whenever they went by 
 his house, should lift up their hearts in prayer to God for 
 him and his family." This good man had learned to prac- 
 tise that admirable precept of our Lord, " Pray for them 
 which despitefully use you and persecute you." 
 
 Mr. Henderson. — Of Mr. John Henderson it is ob- 
 served, that the oldest of his friends never beheld him other- 
 wise than calm and collected ; it was a state of mind he re- 
 tained under all circumstances. During his residence at 
 Oxford, a student of a neighbouring college, proud of his lo- 
 gical acquirements, was solicitous of a private disputation 
 with the renowned Henderson ; some mutual friends intro- 
 duced him, and, having chosen his subject, they conversed 
 for some time with equal candour and moderation ; but Hen- 
 derson's antagonist, perceiving his confutation inevitable (for- 
 getting the character of a gentleman, and with a resentment 
 engendered by his former arrogance), threw a full glass of 
 wine in his face. Henderson, without altering his features 
 or changing his position, gently wiped his face, and then 
 coolly replied, "This, sir, is a digression ; now for the ar- 
 gument." 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh. — When Sir Walter Raleigh was 
 brought upon the scaffold to suffer death, he vindicated his 
 conduct in a most eloquent and pathetic speech, and then 
 
MORAL. 179 
 
 feeling the edge of the fatal instrument of death, observed, 
 with a smile, " It is a sharp medicine, but a sure remedy for 
 all my woes. 1 '' Being asked which way he would lay him- 
 self on the block, he replied, " So the heart be right, it is no 
 matter which way the head lies." 
 
 Mr. Clarke. — The late Rev. Mr. Clarke, of Frome, was 
 a man of peace. He was one day asked by a friend " how 
 he kept himself from being involved in quarrels." He an- 
 swered, " By letting the angry person always have the quarrel 
 to himself." This saying seems to have had some influence 
 on some of the inhabitants of that town ; for, when a quar- 
 rel has been likely to ensue, they have said, " Come, let us 
 remember old Mr. Clarke, and leave the angry man to quar- 
 rel by himself." If this maxim were followed, it would be 
 a vast saving of expense, of comfort, and of honour, to thou- 
 sands of the human race. 
 
 Paesiello. — One day, during the stay of Paesiello, the 
 celebrated composer, at Venice, I heard him relate an anec- 
 dote illustrative of the kindness of the Empress Catharine 
 of Russia towards him. She was his scholar ; and while 
 he was accompanying her one bitter cold morning, he shud- 
 dered with the cold. Her majesty perceiving it, took off a 
 beautiful cloak which she had on, ornamented with clasps 
 of brilliants of great value, and threw it over his shoulders. 
 Another mark of esteem for him she evinced by her reply 
 to Marshal Beloselsky. The marshal, agitated, it is be- 
 lieved, by the " green-eyed monster," forgot himself so far 
 as to give Paesiello a blow. Paesiello, who was a powerful, 
 athletic man, gave him a sound drubbing. In return, the 
 marshal laid his complaint before the empress, and demand- 
 ed from her majesty the immediate dismissal of Paesiello 
 from the court for having had the audacity to return a blow 
 upon a marshal of the Russian empire. Catharine's reply 
 was, " I neither can nor will attend to your request ; you for- 
 got your dignity when you gave an unoffending man and a 
 great artist a blow ; are you surprised that he should have 
 forgotten it too ? and as to rank, it is in my power, sir, to 
 make fifty marshals, but not one Paesiello." 
 
 Pericles. — Pericles was of so patient a spirit, that he 
 was hardly ever troubled with anything that crossed him. 
 There was a man who did nothing all the day but rail at 
 him in the market-place, before all the people, notwithstand 
 
180 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ing Pericles was a magistrate. Pericles, however, took no 
 notice of it, but, despatching sundry cases of importance till 
 night came, he went home with a sober pace. The man 
 followed him all the way, defaming him as he went. Peri- 
 cles, when he came home, it being dark, called his man, and 
 desired him to get a torch and light the fellow home. 
 
 Cowper. — Bishop Cowper's wife, it is said, was much 
 afraid that the bishop would prejudice his health by over- 
 much study. When he was compiling his famous dictionary, 
 one day, in his absence, she got into his study, and took all 
 the notes he had been for eight years gathering, and burned 
 them ; whereof, when she had acquainted him, he only said, 
 " Woman, thou hast put me to eight years study more." 
 
 Duke of Marlborough. — The Duke of Marlborough 
 possessed great command of temper, and never permitted it 
 to be ruffled by little things, in which even the greatest men 
 have been occasionally found unguarded. As he was one 
 day riding with Commissary Marriot, it began to rain, and he 
 called to his servant for his cloak. The servant not bringing 
 it immediately, he called for it again. The servant, being 
 embarrassed with the straps and buckles, did not come up 
 to him. At last, it raining very hard, the duke called to him 
 again, and asked him what he was about, that he did not 
 bring his cloak. " You may stay, sir," grumbled the fel- 
 low, " if it rains cats and dogs, till 1 can get at it." The duke 
 turned round to Marriot, and said, very coolly, " Now I would 
 not be of that fellow's temper for all the world." 
 
 Son of All — A familiar story is related of the benevo- 
 lence of one of the sons of Ali. In serving at table, a slave 
 had inadvertently dropped a dish of scalding broth on his 
 master. The heedless wretch fell prostrate to deprecate his 
 punishment, and repeated a verse of the Koran : " Para- 
 dise is for those who command their anger." " I am not an- 
 gry." " And for those who pardon offences." " I pardon 
 you." " And for those who return good for evil." " I give 
 you your liberty and four hundred pieces of silver." 
 
 Magnanimous. — A Chinese emperor being told that his 
 enemies had raised an insurrection in one of the distant 
 provinces, " Come, then, my friends," said he, " follow me, 
 and I promise you that we will quickly destroy them." He 
 marched forward, and the rebels submitted upon his ap- 
 
MORAL. 181 
 
 proach. All now thought that he would take the most sig- 
 nal revenge, but were surprised to see the captives treated 
 with mildness and humanity. " How," cried the first min- 
 ister, " is this the manner in which you fulfil your promise ? 
 Your royal word was given that your enemies should be 
 destroyed, and behold you have pardoned all, and even ca- 
 ressed some !" " I promised," replied the emperor, with a 
 generous air, " to destroy my enemies ; I have fulfilled my 
 word ; for, see, they are enemies no longer ; I have made 
 friends of them." Let every Christian imitate so noble an 
 example, and learn "to overcome evil with good." 
 
 The Patient Shopkeeper. — In days of yore there lived 
 in Chester, in the State of Pennsylvania, an old gentleman 
 who kept a dry-goods store, and was remarkable for his im- 
 perturbable disposition, so much so that no one had ever seen 
 him out of temper. This remarkable characteristic having 
 become the subject of conversation, one of his neighbours, 
 who was something of a wag, bet five dollarst that he could 
 succeed in ruffling the habitual placidity of the stoic. He 
 accordingly proceeded to his store, and asked to see some 
 cloths suitable for a coat. One piece was shown to him, 
 and then another ; a third and a fourth were handed from the 
 shelves : this was too coarse, the other was too fine ; one 
 was of too dark a colour, another too light; still the old 
 Diogenes continued placid as new milk ; and no sooner did 
 his customer start an objection to any particular piece, than 
 he was met by some other variety being laid before him, 
 until the very last piece in the shop was unfolded to his 
 view. The vender now lost all hope of pleasing his fasti- 
 dious purchaser, when the latter, affecting to look at the up- 
 permost piece with satisfaction, exclaimed, "Ah, my dear 
 sir, you have hit it at last ; this is the very thing ; I will 
 take a cent's worth of the pattern," at the same time laying 
 the money plump upon the counter before him, to show that 
 he was prompt pay. " You shall have it, my good friend," 
 replied the merchant, with the utmost seriousness of speech 
 and manners ; and then laying the cent upon the surface of 
 the* cloth, and applying his ample scissors, he cut it fairly 
 round to the very size of the money, and wrapping it care- 
 fully in paper, made a low bow, thanked him for his custom, 
 and hoped that he would call at his store when he wanted 
 anything in his line again. 
 

 182 ANECDOTES. 
 
 HUMANITY. 
 
 George the First. — Mr. Rosenhagen, who was domestic 
 steward of the Duchess of Munster, used to relate as a fact 
 within his personal knowledge, that when the Earl of Niths- 
 dale made his escape out of the Tower the night before he 
 was to be executed, the Deputy Lieutenant of the Tower, as 
 soon as it was known, went to St. James's to acquaint the 
 king with it, and to vindicate himself from any remissness 
 or treachery in his conduct. His majesty was entertaining 
 himself with a select party of the nobility, and it was with 
 difficulty the lieutenant gained admittance ; when, with some 
 alarm and concern, he told his majesty that he had some ill 
 news to acquaint him with, the king said directly, "What! 
 is the city on fire, or is there a new insurrection ?" He said 
 that neither was the case, but told his master of Nithsdale's 
 escape. The king most humanely replied, " Is that all ? It 
 was the wisest thing he could do, and what I would have 
 done in his place. And pray, Mr. Lieutenant, be not too dil- 
 igent in searching after him, for I wish for no man's blood !" 
 
 Massacre of the Huguenots. — When Catharine of 
 Medicis had persuaded Charles IX. to massacre all the Prot- 
 estants in France, orders were sent to the governors of the 
 different provinces to put the Huguenots to death in their re- 
 spective districts. One Catholic governor, whose memory 
 will ever be dear to humanity, had the courage to disobey 
 the cruel mandate. " Sire," said he, in a letter to his sover- 
 eign, " I have too much respect for your majesty not to per- 
 suade myself that the order I have received must be forged ; 
 but if, which God forbid, it should be really the order of 
 your majesty, I have too much respect for the personal 
 character of my sovereign to obey it." 
 
 Emperor Francis II. — One arm of the Danube separates 
 the city of Vienna from a large suburb called Leopold-stadt. 
 A thaw inundated this suburb, and the ice carried away the 
 .bridge of communication with the capital. The population 
 of Leopold-stadt began to be in the greatest distress for want 
 of provisions. A number of boats were collected and load- 
 ed with bread ; but no one felt hardy enough to risk the pas- 
 sage, which was rendered extremely dangerous by large 
 bodies of ice. Francis the Second, who was then emperor, 
 stood at the water's edge ; he begged, exhorted, threatened, 
 
MORAL. 183 
 
 and promised the highest recompenses, but all in vain ; 
 while on the other shore his subjects, famishing with hunger, 
 stretched forth their hands and supplicated relief. Their 
 monarch's sensibility at length got the better of his pru- 
 dence ; he leaped singly into a boat loaded with bread, and 
 applied himself to the oars, exclaiming, " Never shall it be 
 said that I made no effort to save those who would risk their 
 all for me." The example of the sovereign, sudden as elec- 
 tricity, inflamed the spectators, who threw themselves in 
 crowds into the boats. They encountered the sea success- 
 fully, and gained the suburb just when their intrepid mon- 
 arch, with the tear of pity in his eye, held out the bread he 
 had conveyed across at the risk of his life. 
 
 CAESAR. 
 
 " This placed Caesar among the gods." 
 
 Mar. Aurelius. 
 
 Julius Caesar was not more eminent for his value in over- 
 coming his enemies than for his humane efforts in recon- 
 ciling and attaching them to his dominion. In the battle of 
 Pharsalia he rode to and fro, calling vehemently out, " Spare, 
 spare the citizens !" Nor were any killed but such as ob- 
 stinately refused to accept of life. After the battle he gave 
 every man on his own side leave to save any of the oppo- 
 site from the list of proscription ; and at no long time after 
 he issued an edict, permitting all whom he had not yet par- 
 doned to return in peace to Italy to enjoy their estates and 
 honours. It was a common saying of Caesar, that no music 
 was so charming to his ears as the requests of his friends 
 and the supplications of those in want of his assistance. 
 
 Humane Driver Rewarded. — A poor Macedonian was 
 one day leading before Alexander a mule laden with gold for 
 the king's use ; the beast being so tired that he was not able 
 either to go or sustain the load, the mule-driver took it off 
 and carried it himself with great difficulty a considerable 
 way. Alexander, seeing him just sinking under his burden, 
 and about to throw it on the ground, cried out, " Friend, do 
 not be weary yet ; try and carry it quite through to thy tent, 
 for it is all thy own." 
 
 Henry IV. of France. — When Henry IV. of France 
 was advised to attempt to take Paris by an assault before 
 the King of Spain's troops arrived to succour the leaguers, he 
 absolutely protested against the measure on the principle of 
 
184 ANECDOTES. 
 
 humanity. " I will not," said he, " expose the capital to the 
 miseries and horrors which must follow such an event. I 
 am the father of my people, and will follow the example of 
 the true mother who presented herself before Solomon. I 
 had much rather not have Paris than obtain it at the ex- 
 pense of humanity, and by the blood and death of so many 
 innocent persons." i 
 
 Henry reduced the city to obedience without the loss of 
 more than two or three burgesses, who were killed. "If it 
 was in my power," said the humane monarch, " I would give 
 fifty thousand crowns to redeem those citizens, to have the 
 satisfaction of informing posterity that I had subdued Paris 
 without spilling a drop of blood." 
 
 Hospitality Rewarded. — The Czar Ivan, who reigned 
 over Russia about the middle of the sixteenth century, fre- 
 quently went out disguised, in order to discover the opinion 
 which the people entertained of his administration. One 
 day, in a solitary walk near Moscow, he entered a small 
 village, and pretending to be overcome by fatigue, implored 
 relief from several of the inhabitants. His dress was rag- 
 ged, his appearance mean ; and what ought to have excited 
 the compassion of the villagers and ensured his reception, 
 was productive of refusal. Full of indignation at such in- 
 human treatment, he was just going to leave the place, when 
 he perceived another habitation, to which he had not yet ap- 
 plied for assistance. It was the poorest cottage in the vil- 
 lage. The emperor hastened to this, and, knocking at the 
 door, a peasant opened it, and asked him what he wanted. 
 " I am almost dying with fatigue and hunger," answered the 
 Czar; " can you give me a lodging for one night ?" "Alas!" 
 said the peasant, taking him by the hand, "you will have 
 but poor fare ; you are come at an unlucky time ; my wife 
 is in labour ; her cries will not let you sleep ; but come in, 
 come in ; you will at least be sheltered from the cold, and 
 such as we have you shall be welcome to." 
 
 The peasant then made the Czar enter a little room full 
 of children ; in a cradle were two infants sleeping soundly . 
 A girl three years old was sleeping on a rug near the cradle ; 
 while her two sisters, the one five years old, the other almost 
 seven, were on their knees, crying, and praying to God for 
 their mother, who was in a room adjoining, and whose pit- 
 eous plaints and groans were distinctly heard. " Stay here," 
 said the peasant to the emperor. " I will go and get some- 
 thing for your supper." 
 
MORAL. 185 
 
 He went out and soon returned with some black bread, 
 eggs, and honey. " You see all I can give you," said the peas- 
 ant ; " partake of it with my children. I must go and assist 
 my wife." " Your hospitality," said the Czar, " must bring 
 down blessings upon your house ; I am sure God will re- 
 ward your goodness." " Pray to God, my good friend," re- 
 plied the peasant, " pray to God Almighty that she may have 
 a safe delivery : that is all I wish for." " And is that all 
 you wish to make you happy ?" " Happy ! judge for your- 
 self; I have five fine children; a dear wife that loves me; 
 a father and mother both in good health ; and my labour is 
 sufficient to maintain them all." " Do your father and moth- 
 er live with you V " Certainly ; they are in the next room 
 with my wife." " But your cottage here is so very small !" 
 " It is large enough ; it can hold us all." 
 
 The good peasant then went to his wife, who in about an 
 hour after was happily delivered. Her husband, in a trans- 
 port of joy, brought the child to the Czar ; " Look," said he, 
 " look ; this is the sixth she has brought me ! May God 
 preserve them as he has done my others !" The Czar, sen- 
 sibly affected at this scene, took the infant in his arms ; " I 
 know," said he, " from the physiognomy of this child, that 
 he will be quite fortunate. He will arrive, I am certain, at 
 preferment." The peasant smiled at the prediction ; and at 
 that instant the two eldest girls came to kiss their newborn 
 brother, and their grandmother came also to take him back. 
 The little ones followed her ; and the peasant, laying himself 
 down upon his bed of straw, invited the stranger to do the 
 same. 
 
 In a moment the peasant was in a sound and peaceful 
 sleep ; but the Czar, sitting up, looked around, and contem- 
 plated everything with an eye of tenderness and emotion ; the 
 sleeping children and their sleeping father. An undisturbed 
 silence reigned in the cottage. " What a happy chasm ! 
 What delightful tranquillity !" said the emperor ; " avarice 
 and ambition, suspicion and remorse, never enter here. How 
 sweet is the sleep of innocence !" In such reflections and on 
 such a bed did the mighty emperor of the Russias spend the 
 night ! The peasant awoke at the break of day, and his 
 guest, after taking leave of him, said, " I must return to 
 Moscow, my friend ; I am acquainted there with a very 
 benevolent man, to whom I shall take care to mention your 
 kind treatment of me. I can prevail upon him to stand god- 
 father to your child. Promise me, therefore, that you will 
 wait for me, that I may be present at the christening ; I 
 
 A A 
 
186 ANECDOTES. 
 
 * will be back in three hours at the farthest." The peasant 
 did not think much of this mighty promise ; but, in the good 
 nature of his heart, he consented, however, to the stranger's 
 request. 
 
 The Czar immediately took his leave : the three hours 
 were soon gone, and nobody appeared. The peasant, there- 
 fore, followed by his family, was preparing to carry his child 
 to church ; but, as he was leaving his cottage, he heard on a 
 sudden the trampling of horses and the rattling of many 
 coaches. He knew the imperial guards, and instantly called 
 his family to come and see the emperor go by. They all 
 ran out in a hurry and stood before their door. The horses, 
 men, and carriages soon formed a circular line, and at last 
 the state coach of the Czar stopped opposite the peasant's 
 door. 
 
 The guards kept back the crowd, which the hopes of see- 
 ing their sovereign had collected together. The coach door 
 was opened, the Czar alighted, and, advancing to his host, 
 thus addressed him : " I promised you a god-father ; I am 
 come to fulfil my promise : give me your child, and follow me 
 to church." The peasant stood like a statue ; now looking at 
 the emperor with the mingled emotions of astonishment and 
 joy ; now observing his magnificent robes, and the costly 
 jewels with which they were adorned ; and now turning to 
 a crowd of nobles that surrounded him. In this profusion 
 of pomp he could not discover the poor stranger who lay 
 all night with him upon straw. 
 
 The emperor for some moments* silently enjoyed his 
 perplexity, and then addressed him thus : " Yesterday you 
 performed the duties of humanity ; to-day I am come to dis- 
 charge the most delightful duty of a sovereign, that of rec- 
 ompensing virtue. I shall not remove you from a situation 
 to which you do so much honour, and the innocence and 
 tranquillity of which I envy ; but I will bestow upon you 
 such things as may be useful to you. You shall have nu- 
 merous flocks, rich pastures, and a house that will enable 
 you to exercise the duties of hospitality with pleasure. Your 
 newborn child shall become my ward ; for you may re- 
 member," continued the emperor, smiling, " that I prophe- 
 sied he would be fortunate." 
 
 The good peasant could not speak ; but, with tears of sen- 
 sibility in his eyes, he ran instantly to fetch the child, brought 
 him to the emperor, and laid him respectfully at his feet. 
 This excellent sovereign was quite affected ; he took the child 
 in his arms, and carried him himself to church ; and, after 
 
MORAL. 187 
 
 the ceremony was over, unwilling to deprive him of his 
 mother's milk, he took him back to the cottage, and ordered 
 that he should be sent to him as soon as he could be weaned. 
 The Czar faithfully observed his engagement, caused the 
 boy to be educated in his palace, provided amply for his 
 farther settlement in life, and continued ever after to heap 
 favours upon the virtuous peasant and his family. 
 
 PARENTAL AFFECTION. 
 
 God hath wisely and kindly implanted in the breasts of 
 parents a most ardent principle of affection towards their chil- 
 dren. And, indeed, the various trials and difficulties of a fam- 
 ily require more than ordinary regard to conduct it with pre- 
 priety ; to bear with patience whatever transpires, and to 
 watch with constancy against every evil to which children 
 are exposed. 
 
 Fond Fathers. — The warlike Agesilaus was, within the 
 walls of his own house, one of the most tender and playful 
 of men. He used to join with his children in all their inno- 
 cent gambols, and was once discovered by a friend showing 
 them how to ride upon a hobby-horse. When his friend ex- 
 pressed some surprise at beholding the great Agesilaus so 
 employed, "Wait," said the hero, "till you are yourself a 
 father, and if you then blame me, I give you liberty to pro- 
 claim this act of mine to all the world." 
 
 The grave Socrates was*once surprised in nearly a simi- 
 lar situation by Alcibiades, and made nearly the same answer 
 to the scoffs of that gay patrician. " You have not," said he, 
 "such reason as you imagine to laugh so at a father playing 
 with his child. You know nothing of that affection which 
 parents have to their children ; restrain your mirth till you 
 have children of your own, when you will, perhaps, be found 
 as ridiculous as I now seem to you to be." 
 
 The elder Cato, in the busiest periods of his life, always 
 found time to be present at the bathing and dressing of his 
 son ; and, when he grew up, would not suffer him to have 
 any other master than himself. Being once advised to resign 
 the boy to the care of some learned servant, he replied that 
 "he could not bear that any servant should pull his son by 
 the ears, or that his son should be indebted for his learning 
 and education to any other than himself." 
 
188 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Charles the Great was so fond a father, that he never dined 
 or supped without his children at table ; he went nowhere 
 but he took them along with him ; and when he was asked 
 why he did not marry his daughters, and send his sons abroad 
 to see the world, his reply was, " that he was sure he could 
 not be able to bear their absence." 
 
 The Theatre and the Prison. — " Some time ago," says 
 Rev. T. East, in his sermon in the British pulpit, " I called 
 to see a mother : she was in distress. She not merely wept, 
 but wept aloud. 
 
 " ' What is the matter V 
 
 " ' Oh, my child !' and she wept again. ' Oh, my child is 
 just committed to prison, and I fear he will never return to 
 his father's house,' and she wept again ; and, with all my 
 firmness, I could not forbear weeping too. I was afraid to 
 ask the cause. I did not need, for she said, 
 
 " ' Oh, that theatre ! He was a virtuous, kind youth, till 
 that theatre proved his ruin /' This was her testimony, and 
 it was the testimony of the young man himself." 
 
 Saving from Fire. — In 1813 a wealthy farmer, residing 
 near Tuam, who was left a widower, with three helpless 
 children, on his return home about midnight from the fair 
 of Clare, found his house all in a blaze. His first exclama- 
 tion was, "Where are my children? I must relieve them, 
 or we must perish together." He ran to the yard, where for- 
 tunately there happened to be a ladder, which he applied to 
 the wall, rushed into the flames, and succeeded in penetrating 
 into the room where the little children were in bed ; he had 
 already taken two of them in his arms, when a third, the 
 youngest, a beautiful girl, cried out, " Sure, father, you will 
 not leave your own little Hannah in the fire." The distract- 
 ed parent took up the little innocent, wrapped in her night- 
 clothes, in his teeth, and providentially escaped without any 
 material injury to himself or to his precious burden. The 
 house, with all the furniture, fell a prey to the flames. 
 
 Steele among his Children. — It is a common remark, 
 that literary men make but indifferent fathers of families. 
 We see few Melancthons among them who will rock the 
 cradle, and write or read at the same time ; few, indeed, 
 who can bear to have anything to do with nursery cares or 
 frolics in their hours of study or contemplation. A letter 
 which is extant of Sir Richard Steele to his wife, shows 
 
MORA L. 189 
 
 him to have been, in this respect, a splendid exception to his 
 class. Seldom have parental affection and good-nature been 
 more pleasingly exemplified than in the family picture which 
 he here presents to us : " Your son," says he', " at the present 
 writing, is mighty well employed, in tumbling on the floor 
 in the room, and sweeping the sand with a feather. He 
 grows a most delightful child, and very full of play and 
 spirit ; he is also a very great scholar ; he can read his prim- 
 er, and I have brought down my Virgil ; he makes more 
 shrewd remarks upon the pictures. We are very intimate 
 friends and playfellows. My dear wife, preserve yourself 
 for him that sincerely loves you, and to be an example to 
 your little ones of religion and virtue. Your daughter Bess 
 gives her duty to you, and says she will be your comfort ; 
 but she is very sorry you are afflicted with the gout. The 
 brats, my girls, stand on each side the table ; and Molly says 
 that what I am writing now is about the new coat. Bess is 
 with me till she has new clothes. Miss Moll has taken upon 
 her to hold the sandbox, and is so impertinent in her office 
 that I cannot write more." "What a subject for a Wilkie ! 
 
 FILIAL AFFECTION. 
 
 A gentleman of Sweden was condemned to suffer death as 
 a punishment for certain offences committed by him in the 
 discharge of an important public office, which he had filled 
 for a number of years with an integrity that had never before 
 undergone either suspicion or impeachment. His son, a 
 youth about eighteen years of age, was no sooner apprized 
 of the predicament to which the wretched author of his being 
 was reduced, than he flew to the judge who had pronounced 
 the fatal decree, and, throwing himself at his feet, prayed 
 " that he might be allowed to suffer in the room of a father 
 whom he adored, and whose loss he declared it was impos- 
 sible for him to survive." The magistrate was thunderstruck 
 at this extraordinary procedure in the son, and would hardly 
 be persuaded that he was sincere in it. Being at length 
 satisfied, however, that the young man wished for nothing 
 more ardently than to save his father's life at the expense of 
 his own, he wrote an account of the whole affair to the king ; 
 and the consequence was, that his majesty immediately de- 
 spatched back the courier, with orders to grant a free pardon 
 to the father, and to confer a title of honour on his incom 
 
190 ANECDOTES. 
 
 parable son. The last mark of royal favour, however, the 
 youth begged leave, with all humility, to decline ; and the 
 motive for the refusal of it was not less noble than the con- 
 duct by which he deserved it was generous and disinterested. 
 " Of what avail," exclaimed he, " could the most exalted title 
 be to me, humbled as my family already is in the dust ? 
 Alas ! would it not serve but as a monument to perpetuate 
 in the minds of my countrymen the direful remembrance of 
 an unhappy father's shame ?" His majesty (the King of Swe- 
 den) actually shed tears when this magnanimous speech was 
 reported to him ; and, sending for the heroic youth to court, 
 he appointed him directly to the office of his private confi- 
 dential secretary. 
 
 Daughter's Choice. — Among the families who fell vic- 
 tims to popular fury in the revolt of the Cossack Pugatchef 
 was an old man, his wife, and daughters. The servants en- 
 deavoured to protect the youngest, aged only seventeen years, 
 and who was universally beloved for the sweetness of her 
 disposition, from the assassins. They disguised her in the 
 dress of a peasant, and she might have escaped with the 
 greatest ease ; but, being deeply affected by the cruelties 
 she saw committed on her father and mother, she would not 
 survive them. She tore herself from the arms of the do- 
 mestics, and, in the fulness of her despair, threw herself on 
 the bodies of her unfortunate parents, her eyes streaming with 
 tears, and her hands raised to heaven, fervently imploring 
 God to put an end to her suffering. The murderers were 
 for an instant softened by her youth and beauty. " Go, go," 
 said they to her, " we will not kill you ;" but her grief was 
 so poignant that she did not listen to them. She exclaimed, 
 " I cannot survive these horrors ! Can I forsake my dear 
 relatives? Let me die with them. I seek not to exist 
 longer, since you have robbed me of all that attached me to 
 life !" and again she bent over them, imploring the Divine 
 mercy. One of the monsters then struck her on the head 
 with a club ; but she was not entirely stunned. Raising 
 her clasped hands, she prayed to God to have pity on her 
 family. She was instantly despatched, and thus terminated 
 a life of innocence. 
 
 Quintus. — Among the multitude of persons who were 
 proscribed under the second triumvirate of Rome were the 
 celebrated orator Cicero and his brother Quintus. The lat- 
 ter found means to conceal himself so effectually at home 
 
MORAL. 191 
 
 that the soldiers could not find him. Enraged at their dis- 
 appointment, they put his son to the torture, in order to 
 make him discover the place of his father's concealment; 
 but filial affection was proof against the most exquisite tor- 
 ments. An involuntary sigh, and sometimes a deep groan. 
 were all that could be extorted from the youth. His agonies- 
 were increased ; but with amazing fortitude he still persisted 
 in his resolution of not betraying his father. Quintus was 
 not far off; and it may be imagined better than can be ex- 
 pressed how his heart must have been affected with the 
 sighs and groans of a son expiring in torture to save his life. 
 He could bear it no longer ; but, leaving the place of his 
 concealment, he presented himself to the assassins, begging 
 of them to put him to death and dismiss the innocent youth. 
 But the inhuman monsters, without being the least affected 
 with the tears either of the father or the son, answered that 
 they both must die ; the father because he was proscribed, 
 and the son because he had concealed the father. Then a 
 new contest of tenderness arose who should die first ; but 
 this the assassins soon decided by beheading them both at 
 the same time. 
 
 An Affecting Story. — The following thrilling account 
 of the execution of Colonel Hayne, of South Carolina, du- 
 ring the war of the American revolution, was related by the 
 Rev. M. Beckwith in a discourse " On the Evils of War." 
 
 " Among the distinguished men who fell victims in the 
 war of the American revolution was Colonel Isaac Hayne, 
 of South Carolina ; a man who, by his amiability of charac- 
 ter and high sentiments of honour and uprightness, had se- 
 cured the good-will and affection of all who knew him. He 
 had a wife and six children, the eldest a boy thirteen years 
 of age. His wife, to whom he was tenderly attached, fell 
 a victim to disease ; an event hastened not improbably by 
 the inconveniences and sufferings incident to a state of war, 
 in which the whole army largely participated. Colonel 
 Hayne himself was taken prisoner by the English forces, 
 and in a short time was executed on the gallows under cir- 
 cumstances calculated to excite the deepest commiseration. 
 A great number of persons, both English and American, in- 
 terceded for his life ; the ladies of Charleston signed a peti- 
 tion in his behalf; his motherless children were on their 
 bended knees humble suiters for their beloved father, but 
 all in vain. 
 
 "During the imprisonment of the father, his eldest son 
 
192 ANECDOTES. 
 
 was permitted to stay with him in the prison. Beholding 
 his only surviving parent, for whom he felt the deepest af- 
 fection, loaded with irons and condemned to die, he was 
 overwhelmed with consternation and sorrow. The wretched 
 father endeavoured to console him by reminding him that 
 the unavailing grief of his son tended only to increase his 
 own misery ; that he came into this world merely to prepare 
 for a better ; that he himself was prepared to die, and could 
 even rejoice that his troubles were so near ended. * To- 
 morrow,' said he, ' I set out for immortality ; you will ac- 
 company me to the place of my execution ; and, when I am 
 dead, take my body and bury it by the side of your poor 
 mother.' The youth fell upon his father's neck, crying, 
 ' Oh, my father, my father, I die with you !' Colonel Hayne, 
 as he was loaded with irons, could not return the embrace 
 of his son, and merely said in return, ' Live, my son, live to 
 honour God by a good life ; live to take care of your brother 
 and little sisters.' 
 
 " The next morning," proceeds the narrator of these dis 
 tressing events, " Colonel Hayne was conducted to the place 
 of execution. His son accompanied him. Soon as they 
 came in sight of the gallows, the father strengthened himself 
 and said, ' Tom, my son, show yourself a man ! that tree is 
 the boundary of my life and all my life's sorrow. Beyond 
 that the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at 
 rest. Don't lay too much at heart our separation ; it will be 
 short. It was but lately your mother died ; to-day I die. 
 And you, my son, though but young, must shortly follow.' 
 ' Yes, my father,' replied the broken-hearted youth, ' I shall 
 shortly follow you, for I feel indeed that I cannot live long.' 
 And this melancholy anticipation was fulfilled in a manner 
 more dreadful than is implied in the mere extinction of life. 
 On seeing his father in the hands of the executioner, and 
 then struggling in the halter, he stood like one transfixed and 
 motionless with horror. Till then," proceeds the narration, 
 " he had wept incessantly ; but, as he saw that, the fountain 
 of his tears was stanched, and he never wept more. He 
 died insane ; and in his last moments often called on his fa- 
 ther in terms that brought tears from the hardest heart." 
 
 MUSIC. 
 
 The Organ. — We do not find any mention of an organ 
 before the year 757, when Constantine Cupronymus, emper- 
 
MORAL. 193 
 
 or of the East, sent to Pepin, king of France, among other 
 rich presents, a musical machine, which the French writers 
 describe to have been composed of pipes and large tubes of 
 tin, and to have imitated sometimes the roaring of thunder 
 and sometimes the warbling of a flute. A lady was so af- 
 fected on first hearing it played on that she fell into a de- 
 lirium, and could never afterward be restored to her reason. 
 In the reign of the Emperor Julian these instruments had 
 become so popular, that Ammianus Marcellinus complains 
 that they" occasioned the study of the sciences to be aban- 
 doned. 
 
 The Harpsichord. — Neither the name of the harpsichord 
 nor that of the spinet, of which it is manifestly but an im- 
 provement, occurs in the writings of any of the monkish 
 musicians who wrote after Guido, the inventor of the mod- 
 ern method of notation. As little is there any notice taken 
 of it by Chaucer, who seems to have occasionally mention- 
 ed all the various instruments in use in his time. Gower, 
 indeed, speaks of an instrument called the citole in these 
 verses : • 
 
 " He taught her, till she was certeyne 
 Of harp, citole, and of ciote, 
 With many a tune and many a note.' 
 
 Confessio Amantis. 
 
 And by an ancient list of the domestic establishment ot 
 Edward III., it appears that he had in his service a musi- 
 cian called a cy teller or cysteller. This* citole (from citolla, 
 a little chest) Sir John Hawkins supposes to have been " an 
 instrument resembling a box, with strings on the top or belly, 
 which, by the application of the tastatura or key-board bor- 
 rowed from the organ and sacks, became a spinet." Of the 
 harpsichord, however, properly so called, the earliest descrip- 
 tion of it which has been yet met with occurs in the Mu- 
 surgia of Ottomanis Luscinius, published at Strasburgh in 
 1536. 
 
 Wrath of Amurath subdued. — Sultan Amurath, a 
 prince notorious for his cruelty, laid siege to Bagdad ; and, 
 on taking it, gave orders for putting thirty thousand Persians 
 to death, notwithstanding they had submitted and laid down 
 their arms. Among the number of the victims was a mu- 
 sician, who entreated the officer to whom the execution of 
 the sultan's order was intrusted to spare him for a moment 
 that he might speak to the author of the dreadful decree. 
 
 B b 9 
 
194 ANECDOTES. 
 
 The officer consented, and he was brought before Amurath 
 who permitted him to exhibit a specimen of his art. Like 
 the musician in Homer, he took up a kind of psaltery which 
 resembles a lyre, and has six strings on each side, and ac- 
 companied it with his voice. He sung the capture of Bag- 
 dad and the triumph of Amurath. The pathetic tones and 
 exulting sounds which he drew from the instrument, joined 
 to the alternative plaintiveness and boldness of his strains, 
 rendered the prince unable to restrain the softer emotions of 
 his soul. He even suffered him to proceed, until, overpow- 
 ered with harmony, he melted into tears of pity and repent- 
 ed of his cruelty. In consideration of the musician's abili- 
 ties, he not only directed his people to spare those among 
 the prisoners who yet remained alive, but also to give them 
 instant liberty. 
 
 Pythagoras. — Pythagoras says that the whole world is 
 made according to musical proportion. Plato asserts that 
 the soul of the world is conjoined with musical proportion. 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton was of opinion that the principles of 
 harmony pervade the universe, and gives a proof of the gen- 
 eral principle from the analogy between colours and sounds. 
 
 From a number of experiments made on a ray of light 
 with the prism, he found that the primary colours occupied 
 spaces exactly corresponding with those intervals which con- 
 stitute the octave in the division of a musical chord ; and 
 hence he has obviously shown the affinity between the har- 
 mony of colours and musical sounds. 
 
 Shakspeare, Milton, Dryden, Mason, and other eminent 
 poets, all seem to favour the Pythagorean system. The first 
 of these, whose vast mind grasped the whole creation with 
 its internal mechanism at once, thus happily alludes to the 
 subject in his play of " The Merchant of Venice :" 
 
 "There's not the smallest orb which thou behold'st, 
 But in his motion like an angel sings, 
 Still choiring to the young-eyed cherubims; 
 Such harmony is in immortal sounds ! 
 But while this muddy vesture of decay 
 Doth grossly close us in, we cannot hear it." 
 
 Power of Religion — Influence of Music — One of 
 the most interesting anecdotes illustrating the power of mu- 
 sic was related a few days since in a social meeting by an 
 English clergyman who was acquainted with the facts. 
 
 " A nobleman, Lord , was a man of the world. His 
 
 pleasures were drawn from his riches, his honours, and his 
 
MORAL. 195 
 
 friends. His daughter was the idol of his heart. Much 
 had been expended for her education, and well did she re- 
 pay in her intellectual endowments the solicitude of her pa- 
 rents. She was highly accomplished, amiable in her dispo- 
 sition, and winning in her manners. They were all strangers 
 to God. 
 
 " At length Miss attended a Methodist meeting in 
 
 London ; was deeply awakened, and soon happily converted. 
 Now she was delighted in the service of the sanctuary and 
 social meetings. To her the charms of Christianity were 
 overflowing. She frequented those places where she met 
 with congenial minds, animated with similar hopes. She 
 was often found in the house of God. 
 
 " The change was marked by her fond father with painful 
 solicitude. To see his lovely daughter thus infatuated was 
 to him an occasion of deep grief, and he resolved to cor- 
 rect her erroneous notions on the subject of the real pleas- 
 ure and business of life. He placed at her disposal large 
 sums of money, hoping she would be induced to go into the 
 fashions and extravagances of others of her birth, and leave 
 the Methodist meetings. But she maintained her integrity. 
 He took her on long journeys, conducted in the most en- 
 gaging manner, in order to divert her mind from religion; 
 but she still delighted in the Saviour. 
 
 " After failing in many projects which he fondly anticipated 
 would be effectual in subduing the religious feelings of his 
 daughter, he introduced her into company under circum- 
 stances in which she must either join in the recreation of 
 the party or give offence. Hope lighted up in the counte- 
 nance of this affectionate but misguided father as he saw his 
 snare about to entangle the object of his solicitude. It had 
 been arranged among his friends that several young ladies, 
 on the approaching festive occasion, should give a song, ac- 
 companied by the piano-forte. 
 
 " The hour arrived, the party assembled. Several had 
 performed their parts to the great delight of the party, which 
 
 was in' high spirits. Miss was now called on for a 
 
 song, and many hearts now beat high in hopes of victory. 
 Should she decline, she was disgraced ; should she comply, 
 their triumph was complete. This was the moment to seal 
 her fate ! With perfect self-possession she took her seat at 
 the piano-forte, ran her fingers over the keys, and com- 
 menced playing and singing, in a sweet air, the following 
 words : 
 
196 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " ' No room for mirth or trifling here, 
 For worldly hope or worldly fear, 
 
 If life so soon is gone ; 
 If now the Judge is at the door, 
 And all mankind must stand before 
 
 Th' inexorable throne ! 
 
 No matter which my thoughts employ, 
 A moment's misery or joy ; 
 
 But oh ! when both shall end, 
 Where shall I find my destined place ? 
 Shall I my everlasting days 
 
 With fiends or angels spend V 
 
 " She rose from her seat. The whole party was subdued, 
 Not a word was spoken. Her father wept aloud ! One by- 
 one they left the house. 
 
 " Lord never rested until he became a Christian. He 
 
 lived an example of Christian benevolence, having given to 
 benevolent Christian enterprises, at the time of his death, 
 nearly half a million of dollars." 
 
 Luther. — "Music," says Luther, "is one of the fairest 
 and most glorious gifts of God, to which Satan is a bitter 
 enemy ; for it removes from the heart the weight of sorrows 
 and the fascination of evil thoughts. Music is a kind and 
 gentle sort of discipline ; it refines the passions and im- 
 proves the understanding. Even the dissonance of unskilful 
 tiddlers serves to set off the charms of true melody, as white 
 is made more conspicuous by the opposition of black. Those 
 who love music are gentle and honest in their tempers. I 
 always loved music," adds Luther, "and would not, for a 
 great matter, be without the little skill which I possess in 
 the art." 
 
 The Piano-Forte. — The invention of the piano-forte has 
 formed an era in the art of music. It has been the means 
 of developing the sublimest ideas of the composer, and the 
 delicacy of its touch has enabled him to give the lightest 
 shades, as well as the boldest strokes of musical expression. 
 
 The first piano-forte was made by Father Wood, an Eng- 
 lish monk, at Rome, about the year 1711, for Mr. Crfsp, the 
 author of " Virginia." The tone of this instrument was 
 much superior to that produced by quills, with the additional 
 power of producing all the shades of piano and forte by the 
 fingers ; it was on this last account it received its name. 
 
 Fiilk Greville, Esq., purchased it from Mr. Crisp for 100 
 guineas, and it remained unique in this country for many 
 years, until Plcnius, the maker of the lyrichord, made one 
 in imitation of it. 
 

 MORAL. 197 
 
 CARDS. 
 
 Cards were first invented under the reign of Charles VI., 
 king of France, to amuse him during the intervals of the 
 disorder which carried him to the grave. The world would 
 have sustained no loss had his majesty been suffered to die 
 in peace without this invention. They seem, however, to 
 be the delight of vast numbers of mankind ; and even men 
 who profess to have a superiority of taste and a greater ex- 
 tent of knowledge than the generality, pass away too much 
 of their time in this useless and often injurious pursuit. The 
 following is a very pointed and suitable reproof to such. 
 
 Mr. Locke. — Mr. Locke having been introduced by Lord 
 Shaftesbury to the Duke of Buckingham and Lord Halifax, 
 these three noblemen, instead of conversing with the philoso- 
 pher, as might naturally have been expected, on literary sub- 
 jects, in a very short time sat down to cards. Mr. Locke, 
 after looking on for some time, pulled out his pocket-book, and 
 began to write with great attention. One of the company ob- 
 serving this, took the liberty of asking him what he was wri- 
 ting. " My lord," said Locke, " I am endeavouring, as far as 
 possible, to profit by my present situation ; for, having waited 
 with impatience for the honour of being in company with 
 the greatest geniuses of the age, I thought I could do nothing 
 better than to write down your conversation ; and, indeed, 
 I have set down the substance of what you have said for 
 this hour or two." This well-timed ridicule had its desired 
 effect ; and these noblemen, fully sensible of its force, imme- 
 diately ceased their play, and entered into a conversation 
 more rational and better suited to the dignity of their char- 
 acters. 
 
 Addison. — " I think it very wonderful," says Addison, 
 " to see persons of the best sense passing away a dozen 
 hours together in shuffling and dividing a pack of cards, 
 with no other conversation but what is made up of a few 
 game phrases, and no other ideas but those of black or red 
 spots ranged together in different figures. Would not a man 
 laugh to hear any one of this species complaining that life 
 is short?" 
 
 Mr. Dodd. — Mr. Dodd, an eminent minister, being solicit- 
 ed to play at cards, arose from his seat and uncovered his 
 
198 ANECDOTES. 
 
 head. The company asked him what he was going to do, 
 He replied, " To crave God's blessing." They immediately 
 exclaimed, "We never ask a blessing on such an occasion." 
 " Then," said he, " I never engage in anything but what I 
 beg of God to give his blessing." 
 
 Gambling Houses at New-Orleans. — These rooms are 
 very splendid, richer than any private apartments at the 
 North ; more luxurious. Sofas, couches, mirrors, paintings, 
 fountains of nectar, and the music of seraphs, enchant the 
 senses. How many wretched forms have reclined upon 
 these very couches ! How many haggard faces have been 
 reflected from these mirrors ! Here, sitting where my form 
 rests, the suicide thought of his beggared wife, and the boy, 
 the first-born of his union ; and, burying his face in his hands, 
 formed the awful resolution. Here, too, the old and respect- 
 able planter has sat in mute despair to contemplate his bank- 
 ruptcy and loss of reputation ; but he did not think of suicide. 
 The old love life, though they know it to be pain and sorrow. 
 Can splendour, and music, and gayety, and youth, throw even 
 a gleam of joy over apartments so accursed? The air is 
 death. Men will not grow wise by anything but their own 
 experience. Though all the dead bodies of suicides, and 
 all the mental pangs personified, sat by to warn the gambler, 
 he would not stop. Yes ! all goes on now as before. The 
 cards that are handled to-day, and the dice that rattle so 
 merrily, and the spots so well drawn, have been handled, and 
 rattled, and seen by fingers and eyes that now clasp the 
 worm, and furnish a nest for the coiling reptile. — Knicker- 
 bocker. 
 
 Gaming. — The wife of a gamester came with death in 
 her looks to seek her husband where he had been playing 
 for two days. " Leave me," said he, " I shall see you again, 
 perhaps !" He did, indeed, come to her : she was in bed 
 with the last child at her breast. " Rise," said he ; " the bed 
 on which you lie is no longer yours." 
 
 Elizabeth Edmonds. — Queen Mary having dealt severely 
 with the Protestants in England, about the latter end of her 
 reign signed a commission to take the same course with 
 them in Ireland ; and, to execute the same with greater force, 
 she nominated Dr. Cole one of the commissioners. This 
 doctor, coming with the commission to Chester on his jour- 
 ney, the mayor of that city, hearing that her majesty was 
 
MORAL. 199 
 
 sending a messenger into Ireland, and he being a churchman, 
 waited on the doctor, who, in discourse with the mayor, took 
 out of a cloakbag a leather box, saying unto him, " Here 
 is a commission that shall lash the heretics of Ireland," call- 
 ing the Protestants by that title. The good woman of the 
 house, being well affected to the Protestant religion, and 
 also having a brother, named John Edmonds, of the same, 
 then a citizen in Dublin, was much troubled at the doctor's 
 words ; but watching her convenient time, while the mayor 
 took his leave, and the doctor complimented him down the 
 stairs, she opened the box, took the commission out, and 
 placed in lieu thereof a sheet of paper with a pack of cards 
 wrapped up therein, the knave of clubs being faceduppermost. 
 The doctor, coming up to his chamber, and suspecting no- 
 thing of what had been done, put up the box as formerly. 
 The next day, going to the water side, wind and weather 
 serving him, he sailed towards Ireland, and landed on the 
 seventh of October, 1558, at Dublin. When he arrived at 
 the castle, the Lord Fitz-Walter, being lord deputy, sent for 
 him to come before him and the privy council. He came 
 accordingly, and after he had made a speech, relating upon 
 what account he had come over, he presented the box to the 
 lord deputy, who, causing it to be opened that the secre- 
 tary might read the commission, there was nothing save a 
 pack of cards, with the knave of clubs uppermost; which 
 not only startled the lord deputy and council, but the doctor, 
 who assured them he had a commission, but knew not how 
 it was gone. Then the lord deputy made answer, " Let us 
 have another commission, and we will shuffle the cards in 
 the mean while." The doctor, being troubled in his mind, 
 went away and returned into England, and, coming into 
 court, obtained another commission ; but, staying for the 
 wind on the water side, news came to him that the queen 
 was dead ; and thus God preserved the Protestants of Ireland. 
 Queen Elizabeth was so delighted with this story, which was 
 related to her by Lord Fitz-Walter on his return to England, 
 that she sent for Elizabeth Edmonds, whose husband's name 
 was Mathershad, and gave her a pension of forty pounds du 
 ring her life. 
 
 Mr. Romaine. — A lady who once heard Mr. Romaine 
 expressed herself mightily pleased with his discourse, and 
 told him afterward that she thought she could comply with 
 his doctrine and give up everything but one. ° And what 
 is that, madam?" "Cards, sir." ."You think you could 
 
200 ANECDOTES. 
 
 not be happy without them ?" " No, sir ; I know I could 
 not." " Then, madam, they are your god, and they must save 
 you." This pointed and just reply is said to have issued in 
 her conversion. 
 
 DANCING. 
 
 A Blessing on the Dance. — Again was Elizabeth ar- 
 rayed in the garb of fashion, and ready for the amusement of 
 the ballroom. As she stood at the glass placing the last rose 
 amid her clustering locks, she hastily turned around and said 
 to me, " Why, what makes you look so sad ? What is the 
 matter?" and she threw her arms around my neck, and em- 
 braced me with all the enthusiasm of her young heart. 
 " Come, don't be sad any more. Put this lovely rose in my 
 hair, and see how sweetly it will look." 
 
 I kissed her cheek, and, as I bade her good-night, whis- 
 pered, " Can you ask God's blessing on the dance, Eliza- 
 beth ?" She gave me a quick, earnest look, and hurried 
 down the steps. 
 
 At an earlier hour than usual I heard Elizabeth's voice at 
 the door. I was in my chamber ; and when I went down 
 to meet her, I found that she had retired to her room. 1 
 followed her thither, wishing to see her a few moments be- 
 fore I slept. She supposed that all the family had retired, 
 and her door was unlocked. I entered and found her on her 
 knees before God; her hands uplifted, and her streaming 
 eyes raised to heaven. "Hear my prayer, O Lord, I be- 
 seech thee, and let my cry come before thee." 
 
 I returned to her room in about half an hour, and wel- 
 comed her home. 
 
 " Yes," said she, " I have got home. In that bewildered 
 ballroom I danced with the merriest and laughed with the 
 loudest, but there was an arrow here ;" and she laid her hand 
 on her heart. 
 
 " Gods blessing on the dance ! Why, those words rang 
 in my ear at every turn : I rejoice that they still ring there. 
 Oh, if God will forgive the past, if he will yet receive me, 
 [ will turn my back upon this gilded folly, and lay upon his 
 altar what I once promised to lay there — my ivhole heart" 
 
 We knelt together, and asked God to strengthen the reso- 
 lution now made in his name. Our prayers have, we hum- 
 bly trust, been heard ; for among the group of lovely dis- 
 
MORAL. 201 
 
 ciples who keep near the Lord, walking in his footsteps and 
 bearing his cross, few are more humble, consistent, and de- 
 voted than the once gay and thoughtless Elizabeth G- . 
 
 Sensible Query. — When one of the English naval com- 
 manders was at Canton, the officers of his frigate gave a 
 ball. While they were dancing, a Chinese, who had quietly 
 looked on during the operations, softly said to one of the 
 company, " Why don't you make your servants do this for 
 you ?" 
 
 A Good Reason for Dancing. — A party of ladies and 
 gentlemen (who elsewhere pass for intelligent beings) as- 
 semble at a ballroom. Soon they array themselves in op- 
 posing lines ; presently a young lady jumps up from the 
 floor, shakes one foot, and comes down again. Again she 
 springs up, and the other foot quivers. Then she turns round 
 in her place, springs up, and shakes both her feet. Her in- 
 telligent partner opposite performs the same operations. 
 Then both rush forward, and seize each other's hand, and 
 jump up again ; then shake their feet, and stand still. The 
 next lady and gentleman very rationally and soberly follow 
 the example just set by them, jumping, shaking, and turning, 
 and so on to the end ; all for no other reason, that I can per- 
 ceive, than because black Cuffee sits in the corner drawing 
 a horsehair across a catgut. 
 
 Dancing before a King. — The following is an extract 
 from an authentic MS. relative to the expenses of Edward 
 II. " Item, The eleventh day of March, paid to James St. 
 Albans, the king's painter, who danced before the king on a 
 table, and made him laugh heartily, being a gift by the king's 
 own hands, in aid of him, his wife, and children, one pound 
 one shilling." 
 
 Clerical Dancing. — Lous XII. of France held a grand 
 court at Milan in 1501, where the balls are said to have 
 been magnificent. Two cardinals, Cardinal de Narbonne 
 and Cardinal de St. Leverin, footed it there with the rest 
 of the courtiers. Cardinal Pallavino relates that the fa- 
 thers, doctors, bishops, and other church dignitaries as- 
 sembled at the Council of Trent, rested for a while in 1562 
 from their theological polemics, and deliberated on the 
 important proposition of giving a ball to Philip II., king of 
 Spain. The project, after mature discussion, was adopted, 
 
 Cc 
 
202 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the ball was appointed, all the ladies of the city were in- 
 vited, and the Spanish bigot, together with all the fathers of 
 the council, danced on the occasion. 
 
 INDOLENCE. 
 
 " Indolence," says an Eastern writer, " is the daughter of 
 folly, the sister of vice, and the mother of misfortunes ; 
 whoever falls into this pernicious habit cannot hope to make 
 much progress in knowledge or learning of any kind, and, 
 consequently, must give up the glorious aim of rendering 
 himself useful or conspicuous in any capacity or situation in 
 life. Wisdom is not to be won but with great assiduity and 
 constant application ; she must be sought early and attended 
 late ; but he who consumes his hours in idle sauntering, or 
 buries them in morning slumbers, shall never see the light 
 of fame, no more than the light of the sun rising upon him." 
 
 Spin ola. — "Pray, of what did your brother die?" said 
 the Marquis Spinola one day to Sir Horace Vere. " He 
 died, sir," replied he, " of having nothing to do." " Alas ! 
 sir," said Spinola, " that is enough to kill any general of us 
 all." Montesquieu says, " We in general place idleness 
 among the beatitudes of heaven; it should rather, I think, 
 be put amid the tortures of hell. Austin calls it the burying 
 a man alive." 
 
 Idlers. — Skilful politicians have been so sensible of the 
 dangers of idleness, that they have always been vigilant to 
 find work for their people. When Pisistratus had the su- 
 preme command, he sent for those who were idle about the 
 streets, and asked why they loitered about doing nothing. 
 "If your cattle be dead," said he, " take others from me and 
 work ; if you want seed, that I will also give you." So 
 fearful was he of the injurious effects that would result from 
 habits of idleness. 
 
 The Silver Hook. — Doctor Franklin observing one day 
 a hearty young fellow, whom he knew to be an extraordinary 
 blacksmith, sitting on the wharf bobbing for little mudcats 
 and eels, he called to him, " Ah, Tom, what a pity 'tis you 
 cannot fish with a silver hook." The young man replied, 
 "he was not able to fish with a silver hook." Some days 
 
MORAL. 203 
 
 alter this, the doctor passing that way, saw Tom out at the 
 end of the wharf again with his long pole bending over the 
 flood ; " What, Tom," cried the doctor, " have you got the 
 silver hook yet ?" " God bless you, doctor," cried the black- 
 smith, " I am hardly able to fish with an iron hook." "Poh, 
 poh !" replied the doctor ; " go home to your anvil, and you 
 will make silver enough in one day to buy more and better 
 fish than you can catch here in a month." 
 
 INDUSTRY. 
 
 Royal Gardener. — When Lysander, the Lacedaemonian 
 general, brought magnificent presents to Cyrus, the younger 
 son of Darius, who piqued himself more on his integrity and 
 politeness than on his rank and birth, the prince conducted 
 his illustrious guest through his gardens, and pointed out to 
 him their varied beauties. Lysander, struck with so fine a 
 prospect, praised the manner in which the grounds were laid 
 out, the neatness of the walks, the abundance of fruits 
 planted with an art which knew how to combine the useful 
 with the agreeable ; the beauty of the parterres, and the glow- 
 ing variety of flowers exhaling odours universally through- 
 out the delightful scene. " Everything charms and trans- 
 ports me in this place," said Lysander to Cyrus ; " but 
 what strikes me most is the exquisite taste and elegant in- 
 dustry of the person who drew the plan of these gardens, 
 and gave it the fine order, wonderful disposition, and happi- 
 ness of arrangement which I cannot sufficiently admire." 
 Cyrus replied, " It was I that drew the plan and entirely 
 marked it out ; and many of the trees which you see were 
 planted by my own hands." " What !" exclaimed Lysander, 
 with surprise, and viewing Cyrus from head to foot, " is it pos- 
 sible that, with those purple robes and splendid vestments, 
 those strings of jewels and bracelets of gold, those buskins 
 so richly embroidered ; is it possible that you could play the 
 gardener, and employ your royal hands in planting trees ?" 
 " Does that surprise you ?" said Cyrus ; " I assure you that, 
 when my health permits, I never sit down to my table with- 
 out having fatigued myself either in military exercise, rural 
 labour, or some other toilsome employment, to which I ap- 
 ply myself with pleasure." Lysander, still more amazed, 
 pressed Cyrus by the hand, and said, "You are truly hap- 
 py, and deserve your high fortune, since you unite it with 
 virtue." 
 
204 ANECDOTES. 
 
 REWARD OF INDUSTRY. 
 
 " This is the only witchcraft I have used." 
 
 Shakspeari. 
 
 Pliny tells us of one Cressin, who so tilled and manured 
 a piece of ground, that it yielded him fruits in abundance, 
 while the lands around him remained extremely poor and 
 barren. His simple neighbours could not account for this 
 wonderful difference on any other supposition than that of 
 his working by enchantment ; and they actually proceeded 
 to arraign him for his supposed sorcery before the justice 
 seat " How is it," said they, " unless it be that he en- 
 chants us, that he can contrive to draw such a revenue from 
 his inheritance, while we, with equal lands, are wretched 
 and miserable ?" Cressin was his own advocate ; his case 
 was one which required not either ability to expound or lan- 
 guage to recommend. "Behold," said he, "this comely 
 damsel ; she is my daughter, my fellow-labourer ; behold, 
 too, these implements of husbandry, these carts, and these 
 oxen. Go with me, moreover, to my fields, and behold there 
 how they are tilled, how manured, how weeded, how water- 
 ed, how fenced in ! And when," added he, raising his voice, 
 " you have beheld all these things, you will have beheld all 
 the art, the charms, the magic which Cressin has used !" 
 
 The judges pronounced his acquittal, passing a high eulo- 
 gium on that industry and good husbandry which had so in- 
 nocently made him an object of suspicion and envy to his 
 neighbours. 
 
 PETER THE GREAT. 
 
 " Immortal Peter ! first of monarchs." 
 
 Thomson 
 
 It was the custom of Peter the Great to visit the different 
 workshops and manufactories, not only to encourage them, 
 but also to judge what other useful establishments might be 
 formed in his dominions. Among the places he visited fre- 
 quently were the forges of Muller at Istia, ninety versts from 
 Moscow. The Czar once passed a whole month there ; 
 during which time, after giving due attention to the affairs of 
 state, which he never neglected, he amused himself with 
 seeing and examining everything in the most minute man- 
 ner, and even employed himself in learning the business of 
 ?>. blacksmith. He succeeded so well, that on one of the 
 last days of his remaining there he forged eighteen poods of 
 iron, and put his own particular mark on each bar. The 
 boyars and other noblemen of his suite were employed in 
 

 MORAL. 205 
 
 blowing the bellows, stirring the fire, carrying coals, and per- 
 forming the other duties of a blacksmith's assistant. When 
 Peter had finished he went to the proprietor, praised his 
 manufactory, and asked him how much he gave his work- 
 men per pood. " Three kopecks, or an altina," answered 
 Muller. " Very well," replied the Czar ; " I have then 
 earned eighteen altinas." Muller brought eighteen ducats, 
 offered them to Peter, and told him that he could not give a 
 workmen like his majesty less per pood. Peter refused. 
 11 Keep your ducats," said he ; "I have not wrought better 
 than any other man ; give me what you would give to an- 
 other ; I want to buy a pair of shoes, of which I am in great 
 need." At the same time he showed him his shoes, which 
 had been once mended, and were again full of holes. Peter 
 accepted the eighteen altinas, and bought himself a pair of new 
 shoes, which he used to show with much pleasure, saying, 
 " These I earned with the sweat of my brow." 
 
 One of the bars of iron forged by Peter the Great, and 
 authenticated by his mark, is still to be seen at Istia, in the 
 forge of Muller. Another similar bar is preserved in the 
 Cabinet of curiosities at St. Petersburgh. 
 
 Our poet Thomson, in speaking of Peter, makes the fol- 
 lowing beautiful comparison between him and those ancient 
 heroes who imagined that greatness was only to be acquired 
 by deeds of war or schemes of subtle policy. 
 
 " Ye shades of ancient heroes, ye who toil'd 
 Through long successive ages to build up 
 A lab'ring plan of state, behold at once 
 The wonder done ! behold the matchless prince ! 
 Who left his native throne, where reign'd till then 
 A mighty shadow of unreal power ; 
 Who greatly spurn'd the slothful pomp of courts, 
 And roaming every land, in every port 
 His sceptre laid aside, with glorious hand 
 Unwearied plying the mechanic tool, 
 Gather'd the seeds of trade, of useful arts, 
 Of civil wisdom, and of martial skill. 
 Charged with the stores of Europe, home he goes; 
 Then cities rise amid th' illumined waste ; 
 O'er joyless deserts smiles the rural reign ; 
 Far distant flood to flood is social join'd, 
 Th' astonish'd Euxine hears the Baltic roar, 
 Proud navies ride on seas that never foam'd 
 With daring keel before. * * * 
 
 ******* 
 
 * * His country glows around, 
 
 Taught by the royal hand that roused the whole, 
 One scene of arts, of arms, of rising trade, 
 For what his wisdom plann'd and power enforced, 
 More potent still his great example show'd." 
 
 How to Pay for a Farm. — A man in the town of D- 
 
206 ANECDOTES. 
 
 some twenty years ago, went to a merchant in Portsmouth, 
 N. H., who was also president of a bank, and stated that he 
 lived on a farm, the home of his fathers, which had descend- 
 ed to him by right of inheritance ; that this, his only property, 
 worth two thousand dollars, was mortgaged for one thou- 
 sand to a merciless creditor, and that the time of redemption 
 would be out in a week. He closed by asking for a loan to 
 the amount of his debt, for which he offered to re-mortgage 
 his farm. 
 
 Mer. I have no money to spare ; and if I could relieve 
 you now, a similar difficulty would probably arise in a year or 
 two. 
 
 Far. No : I would make every exertion ; I think I could 
 clear it. 
 
 Mer. Well, if you will obey my directions, I can put you 
 in a way to get the money ; but it will require the greatest 
 prudence and resolution. If you can get a good endorser 
 on a note, you shall have money from the bank, and you can 
 mortgage your farm to the endorser for his security. You 
 must pay in one hundred dollars every sixty days. Can 
 you do it? 
 
 Far. I can get Mr. for endorser, and I can raise the 
 
 hundred dollars for every payment but the first. 
 
 Mer. Then borrow a hundred dollars more than you want, 
 and let it lie in the bank ; you will lose only one dollar in- 
 terest. But mind ; in order to get along, you must spend 
 nothing, buy nothing : make a box to hold all the money 
 you get, as a sacred deposite. 
 
 He departed. The note was discounted and the payment 
 punctually made. In something more than two years he 
 came again into the store of the merchant, and exclaimed, 
 u I am a free man; I do not owe any man ten dollars; but 
 look at me." He was imbrowned with labour, and his 
 clothes, from head to foot, were a tissue of darns and patches. 
 " My wife looks worse than I do." " So you have cleared 
 your farm," said the merchant. " Yes," answered he, " and 
 now 7 know how to get another." 
 
 Thus good advice, well improved, rescued a family from 
 poverty and put them in possession of a competency which 
 we believe they yet live to enjoy. Thus may one retrieve a 
 falling fortune if he will ; and by using the same amount 
 of self-denial, and making as great exertions in the way to 
 heaven, we may secure an "inheritance incorruptible, unde- 
 filed, that fadeth not away." 
 
MORAL. 207 
 
 FASHION. 
 
 It is not worth noticing the changes in fashion, unless to 
 ridicule them. However, there are some who find amuse- 
 ment in these records of luxurious idleness ; these thousand 
 and one follies ! Modern fashions, till very lately a purer 
 taste has obtained among our females, were generally mere 
 copies of obsolete ones, and rarely originally fantastical. 
 The dress of some of our beaux will be only known a few 
 years hence by their caricatures. In 1751 the dress of a 
 dandy is described in the Inspector. A black velvet coat, 
 a green and silver waistcoat, yellow velvet breeches, and 
 blue stockings. This, too, was the era of black silk breeches ; 
 an extraordinary novelty, against which " some frowsy peo- 
 ple attempted to raise up worsted in emulation." A satir- 
 ical writer has described a buck about forty years ago; 
 one could hardly have suspected such a gentleman to be 
 one of our contemporaries. " A coat of light green, with 
 sleeves too small for the arms, and buttons too big for the 
 sleeves ; a pair of Manchester fine stuff breeches, with 
 out money in the pockets ; clouded silk stockings, but no 
 legs ; a club of hair behind larger than the head that carries 
 it ; a hat of the size of sixpence on a block not worth a far- 
 thing." 
 
 " It may be a sufficient censure of some fashions," ob- 
 serves Mr. Newton, "to say that they are ridiculous. Their 
 chief effect is to disfigure the female form. And perhaps 
 the inventers of them had no worse design than to make a 
 trial how far they could lead the passive unthinking many 
 in the path of absurdity." Some fashions, which seem to 
 have been at first designed to hide a personal deformity, have 
 obtained a general prevalence with those who had no such 
 deformity to hide. We are informed that Alexander had a 
 wry neck, and therefore his courtiers carried their heads on 
 one side that they might appear to be in the king's fashion. 
 We smile at this servility in people who lived in Macedonia 
 twenty centuries before we were born ; yet it is little less 
 general among ourselves in the present day. 
 
 A lady once asked a minister whether a person might not 
 pay some attention to dress and the fashions without being 
 proud. " Madam," replied the minister, " whenever you 
 see the tail of the fox out of the hole, you may be sure the 
 fox is there." 
 
208 ANECDOTES. 
 
 A certain minister lately paid a visit to a lady of his ac 
 quaintance who was newly married, and who was attired in 
 the modern indecent fashion. After the usual compliments, 
 he familiarly said, " I hope you have got a good husband, 
 madam." "Yes, sir," replied she, "and a good man too." 
 -' I don't know what to say about his goodness," added the 
 minister, rather bluntly ; " for my Bible teaches me that a 
 good man should clothe his wife, but he lets you go half 
 naked." 
 
 The Man of Fashion. — " The external graces, the friv- 
 olous accomplishment of that impertinent and foolish thing 
 called a man of fashion, are commonly more admired than 
 the solid and masculine virtues of a warrior, a statesman, 
 a philosopher, or a legislator. All the great and awful 
 virtues, all the virtues which can lit either for the council, 
 the senate, or the field, are, by the insolent and insignificant 
 flatterers who commonly figure the most in such corrupted 
 societies, held in the utmost contempt and derision. When 
 the Duke of Sully was called upon by Louis the Thirteenth 
 to give his advice in some great emergency, he observed the 
 favourites and courtiers whispering to one another, and smi- 
 ling at his unfashionable appearance. ' Whenever your ma- 
 jesty's father,' said the old warrior and statesman, ' did me 
 the honour to consult me, he ordered the buffoons of the 
 court to retire into the antechamber.' " 
 
 Origin of Fashion. — " Grandpa, where do people get 
 their fashions from?" "From Boston." "Well, where do 
 the Boston folks get them from ?" " From England." " Ah, 
 and where do the English get them from ?" " From France." 
 "And where do the French get them from?" "Why — 
 why right straight from the devil ; there, now, stop your 
 noise !" 
 
 No Judge. — A learned judge who shall be nameless, while 
 trying a case during the last circuit, saw, just in front of him, 
 a person wearing a hat. His lordship desired one of the of- 
 ficers to make that man take off his hat or leave the court. 
 " My lord," said the supposed offender, who proved to be a 
 lady in a riding habit, " I am no man." " Then," said his 
 lordship, " I am no judge." 
 
 Fashionable Slander. — Slander is a sad employment, to 
 say the best of it. Of all species of slandering, that is the 
 
MORAL. 209 
 
 most harmless which females direct against each other's 
 bonnets, shawls, and shoulder-knots. Miss Biddy Bluecheek 
 went a shopping the other day in Broadway, and so much 
 employment did she find for critical remarks upon her friends, 
 that she actually returned to dinner and a glass of lemonade 
 without buying a single article she had gone out in search of. 
 That lady's bonnet displeased her, this one's blue gauze dress 
 over a white gown, the other one's waist was too long, too 
 short, too bulky, too round, too slender, or anything you 
 please. The cut of a dandy's coat displeased, and the tie of 
 his cravat almost put her into hysterics. " Oh !" said she, 
 " what abominable fashions those are nowadays," while she 
 swallowed down a whole glass of lemonade, just coloured, 
 for constitution's sake, with ten imperceptible drops of French 
 brandy. — Snowderts Advocate. 
 
 Addison. — " There is not so variable a thing in nature as 
 a lady's headdress. Within my own memory I have known 
 it to rise and fall above thirty degrees. About ten years ago 
 it shot up to a very great height, insomuch that the female 
 part of our species were much taller than the men. At 
 present the whole sex is in a manner dwarfed, and shrunk 
 into a race of beauties that seem almost another species. I 
 remember several ladies who were very near seven feet high, 
 that at present want some inches of five. And as I am not 
 for adding to the beautiful edifices of nature, I must say I 
 am highly pleased with the present fashion, and think that it 
 shows the good sense which at present reigns among the sex. 
 But I do not remember," continues Addison, " in any part of 
 my reading, that the headdress aspired to so great an extrav- 
 agance as in the fourteenth century, when it was built up in 
 a couple of convex spires, which stood so excessively high 
 on each side of the head that a woman who was but a pigmy 
 without her headdress appeared like a colossus upon putting 
 it on. A certain monk, enraged at such enormous headdress- 
 es, declaimed against them with great zeal ; and so successful 
 was he that many of the women threw down their bonnets 
 in the middle of the sermon, and made a bonfire of them in 
 sight of the pulpit. This monk was so renowned for his 
 manner of preaching that he often had twenty thousand peo- 
 ple to hear him, and the females, who sat by themselves, to 
 use the similitude of an ingenious writer, appeared like a 
 forest of cedars with their heads reaching to the clouds. The 
 monk, however, continued to fell them by his persevering 
 efforts, but ever-changing and resistless fashion soon reared 
 
 Dd 
 
210 ANECDOTES. 
 
 them again. To conclude," continues our author, ' I would 
 desire the fair sex to consider how impossible it is for them 
 to add anything that can be ornamental to what is already 
 the masterpiece of nature. The head has the most beauti- 
 ful appearance, as well as the highest station in a human 
 figure. Nature has laid out all her art in beautifying the 
 face : she has touched it with vermilion, planted in it a dou- 
 ble row of ivory, made it the seat of smiles and blushes, 
 lighted it up and enlivened it with the brightness of the eyes, 
 hung it on each side with curious organs of sense, given it 
 airs and graces that cannot be described, and surrounded it 
 with such a flowing shade of hair that sets all its beauties in 
 the most agreeable light. In short, she seems to have de- 
 signed the head as the ultimatum of elegance and beauty ; 
 and when we load it with such a pile of supernumerary or- 
 naments, we destroy the symmetry of the human figure, and 
 strangely and foolishly continue to improve the masterpiece 
 of Heaven's skill with childish gewgaws, ribands, and lace." 
 
 Dr. Franklin observed : " The eyes of other people are the 
 eyes that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should 
 want neither fine houses nor fine furniture." 
 
 Mourning Costumes. — The colours of dress for mourn- 
 ing differ according to persons and countries. In Italy, the 
 women once mourned in white and the men in brown. In 
 China they wear white. In Turkey, Syria, Cappadocia, and 
 Armenia, celestial blue. In Egypt, yellow, or the colour of 
 a dead leaf. The Ethiopians wear gray ; and in Europe the 
 mourning colour is black. 
 
 Each of these colours had originally its signification: 
 white is the emblem of purity; celestial blue denotes the 
 place we wish to go to after death ; yellow, or the dead leaf, 
 indicates that death is the end of human hope, and that man 
 falls as the leaf; gray signifies the earth to which the dead 
 return ; and black marks the absence of life, because it is 
 the want of life. 
 
 The Lycians,as we read in Valerius Maximus, when any 
 cause of mourning befell them, put on the clothes of women, 
 in order that the effeminacy of the dress might the sooner 
 make them ashamed of grieving. The Thracians, again, 
 never grieved at all; but used' to celebrate the death of a 
 friend with every expression of mirth and joy, as a removal 
 from a state of misery to one of never-ending felicity. 
 
 Previous to the reign of Charles the Eighth, the queens of 
 

 MORAL. 211 
 
 France wore white upon the death of their husbands, and 
 were called " reines blanches." On the death of that mon- 
 arch the colour was changed to black. 
 
 A wardrobe account for half a year to Lady Day, 1684, in 
 a MS. purchased by Mr. Brander, at the sale of the library 
 of George Scott, Esq., of Woolslon Hall, contains the fol- 
 lowing entries for the king's mourning : " A gray coat lined 
 with murrey and white flowered silk, with gold loops, and 
 four crape hatbands. A sad-coloured silk coat, lined with 
 gold striped lustring, with silver and silk buttons, and a pur- 
 ple crape hatband. A purple coat." 
 
 English and Scots. — The Monk of Malmesbury, in his 
 Life of Edward the Second, complains that such was the 
 pride of dress, that the squire endeavoured to outshine the 
 knight in the richness of his apparel ; the knight the baron, 
 the baron the earl, and the earl the king himself. This van- 
 ity became general among the people of every class at the 
 commencement of the following reign, which gave occasion 
 to the Scots, who, Dr. Henry says, could not afford to be such 
 egregrious fops as the English, to make the following well- 
 known lines : 
 
 " Long beirds hertiless, 
 Peynted whoods witless, 
 Gay cotes graceless, 
 Maketh England thiteless." 
 
 Contrast. — Among the Hindoos, none but the women 
 who are in the service of the pagodas are allowed to learn 
 to read, to sing, and to dance. Such accomplishments be- 
 long to them exclusively, and are, for that reason, held by 
 the rest of the sex in such abhorrence that every virtuous 
 woman would consider the mention of them as an affront. 
 Peculiar to ladies of this description are also perfumes ; el- 
 egant and attractive attire, particularly of the head ; sweet- 
 scented flowers, entwined with exquisite art about their hair; 
 multitudes of ornamented trinkets, adapted with infinite 
 taste to the different parts of the body ; a graceful carriage, 
 and measured step, &c. 
 
 If in reading these passages we omit the fact that this 
 is the education of females intended for " the service of the 
 pagoda," who would not believe that they related to the 
 conduct of some fashionable boarding-school in a very dif- 
 ferent quarter of the world ! 
 
 Roman Women. — Among the Romans the women wore 
 
212 ANECDOTES. 
 
 dresses of a kind of stuff so transparent that the body might 
 be seen through it. This stuff was made of silk so extreme- 
 ly fine that it was died a purple colour before it was made 
 up ; for when this species of gauze was manufactured it 
 was so delicate that it could not possibly have admitted the 
 die. The shellfish which furnished the precious material 
 for this colour was found near the Island of Cos ; whence 
 writers have denominated this stuff the dress of Cos. Varro 
 named these habits " dresses of glass." They continued in 
 vogue till the time of Jerome, who declaims loudly against 
 them. We learn from Isaiah that the women and maidens 
 of Jerusalem wore dresses of a similar nature. 
 
 Fans. — The fan of antiquity was of a very different shape 
 from that in use in our time ; it was more like a handscreen 
 with a round handle, was frequently composed of feathers, 
 and then was used by the Roman ladies; the Italian fans 
 were, however, very like ours, and it is probable that the 
 shape of the modern fan has been copied from the Italians. 
 It appears that men were sometimes so effeminate as to use 
 a fan. 
 
 " Lady W (Wellesley, we presume) assimilates her- 
 self with Spanish fashion ; she has adopted the dress of 
 the ladies ; in the playful use of the fan, she confesses her 
 deficiency ; she has translated Addison's descriptions of his 
 application of it by the ladies of different ages and inclina- 
 tions, which the Spanish ladies exemplify and allow to be 
 correct. You would hardly have supposed that the Specta- 
 tor was in Cadiz ; but, as I have it at hand, I will quote the 
 passage which gives you the words of command, and I will 
 refer you to the second paper of that work for the full ex- 
 planation of them. 
 
 " ' Handle your fans. 
 Unfurl your fans. 
 Discharge your fans. 
 Ground your fans. 
 Recover your fans. 
 Flutter your fans.' • 
 
 " All these parts of the exercise a lady told me were cor- 
 rect ; and she went through her part in the various uses of 
 it from youth to age as perfectly as if Addison himself had 
 been the drill sergeant." 
 
 High and Low Headdresses. — About the year 1714, 
 two English ladies visiting Versailles gave the fashion of 
 low headdresses to the French ladies, who at that time 
 
MORAL. 213 
 
 wore them so high, arranged like organ pipes, that their 
 heads seemed in the middle of their bodies. The king 
 loudly expressed his approbation of the superior taste and 
 elegance of the English fashion, when the ladies of the 
 court were, of course, eager to adopt it. 
 
 The high headdresses, however, had scarcely been ex- 
 ploded in France than they were adopted in England, and 
 carried to the utmost extravagance. The ingenuity of the 
 hairdressers was racked to know how to build decorative 
 towers on the heads of our females, and various have been 
 the expedients they have hit upon in cases of emergency ; 
 a lady's slipper or an old distaff often serving the purpose 
 of producing a due elevation. 
 
 Inventress. — A Mrs. Turner was less fortunate than Si- 
 mon : she was convicted and condemned. When the lord 
 chief justice pronounced the sentence of death upon her, 
 he said, " that as she was the first inventress and wearer of 
 yellow starched ruffs and cuffs, so he hoped that she would 
 be the last that wore them ; and for that purpose strictly 
 charged that she should be hanged in that garb, that the 
 fashion might end in shame and detestation." His hope 
 was fully accomplished, as from the day she was executed 
 neither yellow ruff nor cuff was ever worn. 
 
 English Characteristic — Lucas, a painter in the reign 
 of Queen Elizabeth, was employed to paint a gallery for the 
 Earl of Lincoln, lord high admiral. He was to represent 
 the habits of different nations. When he came to the Eng- 
 lish, he painted a naked man, with cloth of various sorts ly- 
 ing by him, and a pair of shears, as a satire on their fickle- 
 ness of dress. The thought was borrowed from Andrew 
 Borde, who, in his Introduction to Knowledge, prefixed a 
 naked Englishman, with these lines: 
 
 " I am an Englishman, and naked ; I stand here 
 Musing in my mind what raiment I shall wear." 
 
 Female Beauty and Ornaments. — The ladies in Japan 
 gild their teeth, and those of the Indies paint them red. The 
 pearl of teeth must be died black to be beautiful in Guzurat. 
 In Greenland the women colour their faces with blue and 
 yellow. However fresh the complexion of a Muscovite may 
 be, she would think herself very ugly if she was not plastered 
 over with paint. The Chinese must have their feet as di- 
 minutive as those of the she-goats ; and to render them thus, 
 
214 ANECDOTES. 
 
 their youth is passed in tortures. In ancient Persia, an 
 aqualine nose was often thought worthy of the crown ; and 
 if there was any contention between two princes, the peo- 
 ple generally went by this criterion of majesty. In some 
 countries the mothers break the noses of their children, and 
 in others press the head between two boards, that it may be- 
 come square. The modern Persians have a strong aversion 
 to red hair ; the Turks, on the contrary, are warm admirers 
 of it. The female Hottentot receives from the hand of her 
 lover not silk or wreaths of flowers, but warm guts and reek- 
 ing tripe, to dress herself with enviable ornaments. 
 
 In China small round eyes are liked ; and the girls are 
 continually plucking their eyebrows that they may be thin 
 and long. The Turkish women dip a gold brush in the 
 tincture of a black drug, which they pass over their eye- 
 brows. It is too visible by day, but looks shining by night. 
 They tinge their, nails with a rose-colour. An African beauty 
 must have small eyes, thick lips, a large flat nose, and a skin 
 beautifully black. The Emperor of Monomotapa would not 
 change his amiable negress for the most brilliant European 
 beauty. 
 
 An ornament for the nose appears to us perfectly unne- 
 cessary. The Peruvians, however, think otherwise ; and 
 they hang on it a weighty ring, the thickness of which is 
 proportioned by the rank of their husbands. The custom of 
 boring it, as our ladies do their ears, is very common in sev- 
 eral nations. Through the perforation are hung various ma- 
 terials ; such as green crystal, gold stones, a single and some- 
 times a great number of gold rings. This is rather trouble- 
 some to them in blowing their noses ; and the fact is, some 
 have informed us that the Indian ladies never perform this 
 very useful operation. 
 
 The female headdress is carried in some countries to sin- 
 gular extravagance. The Chinese fair carries on her head 
 the figure of a certain bird. This bird is composed of cop- 
 per or of gold, according to the quality of the person. The 
 wings spread out, fall over the front of the headdress, arid 
 conceal the temples. The tail, long and open, forms a beau- 
 tiful tuft of feathers. The beak covers the top of the nose ; 
 the neck is fastened to the body of the artificial animal by a 
 spring, that it may the more freely play and tremble at the 
 slightest motion. 
 
 Choice of Clovis. — Erehionalde, mayor of the palace in 
 the reign of Clovis II., bought from some pirates a girl of 
 
MORAL. 215 
 
 exquisite beauty, named Bandour or Baltide, whom he af- 
 terward presented to his sovereign. The monarch was so 
 transported with her charms, that he thought he could not 
 better grace his throne than by raising her to share it along 
 with him. History does the fortunate fair one the justice 
 to inform us, that while on the throne she never forgot hav- 
 ing been a slave, and that after the death of Clovis, having 
 taken the veil, her mind became wholly purified from any 
 passion for grandeur, and she appeared almost to forget that 
 she had once been a queen. 
 
 Fortune well Told. — A young lady, a native of Mar- 
 tinique and a Creole, was on her voyage to France, with the 
 design of being educated there, when the merchant vessel 
 on board of which she was a passenger was captured by an 
 Algerine cruiser and taken into Algiers. The fair captive 
 was at first overwhelmed with affliction at the prospect of 
 captivity before her ; but as passion gave way to meditation, 
 it came to her recollection that an old negress had predicted 
 that she would one day become one of the princesses in the 
 world ! " Ah !" exclaimed she, for superstition was in this 
 instance but the handmaid of inclination, " it is doubtless so ; 
 I am to be a princess. Well, I must not quarrel with for- 
 tune. Who knows what may come out of this ?" So strong 
 did this prepossession grow upon the young lady, that, ere 
 she reached the Barbary shore, she was as much a fatalist in 
 point of resignation as any devotee of Islamism could possi- 
 bly be. The French consul at Algiers immediately offered 
 to ransom his countrywoman ; but no ; the fair Creole would 
 not be ransomed, for fear of offending fortune by resorting 
 to so vulgar a way of recovering her liberty. So to the se- 
 raglio of the Dey of Algiers the lady went; and, strange in- 
 deed to tell, from his highness's seraglio she was sent as a 
 present to the grand seignor, who was so struck with her 
 beauty and manners (for in both she was excelling) that he 
 elevated her to the dignity of his favourite sultana ! Such 
 was the singular rise of the late Sultana Valide, who died in 
 1818, and was the mother of the present grand seignor. 
 
 Beauty. — Let me see a female possessing the beauty of 
 a meek and modest deportment ; of an eye that bespeaks in- 
 telligence and purity within ; of lips that speak no guile ; let 
 me see in her a kind, benevolent disposition ; a heart that 
 can sympathize with distress ; and I will never ask for beauty 
 that dwells in "ruby lips," or "flowing tresses," or "snowy 
 
216 ANECDOTES. 
 
 hands," or the forty other et ceteras upon which our poets 
 have harped for so many ages. These fade when touched 
 by the hand of time ; but those ever-enduring qualities of the 
 heart shall outlive the reign of time, and grow brighter and 
 fresher as the ages of eternity roll away. 
 
 ETIQUETTE. 
 
 A Levee Accident. — A British consul at the court of 
 St. Petersburg!], attending to pay his compliments on a birth- 
 day, took his station as usual, waiting to be presented when 
 the empress passed by. The master of the ceremonies an- 
 nouncing, as the empress walked on, the names of the noble- 
 men and gentlemen present, at last announced " the British 
 
 consul, Mr. C ." The consul bowed, but unfortunately 
 
 standing under a cut-glass chandelier, and being somewhat 
 fidgety, as most Englishmen are upon great occasions, had 
 got somehow or other the toupee of his bag-wig entangled 
 in the wire of the drops ; so that when he bowed (and that 
 he did very low) there was at least two feet between his 
 bald pate and the suspended periwig, and he could not, on 
 rising, get his head into dock again. The smothered laugh 
 was against him, and it required all his good sense and good 
 nature, when he got home, to make so unlucky a day as 
 pleasant as he did most others to his amiable family. 
 
 Victim of Etiquette. — The preposterous degree of 
 etiquette for which the court of Spain has always been re- 
 markable proved the ruin of ^pne of the most illustrious of 
 Spaniards, in the person of the Duke of Ossuna. He was 
 viceroy of Naples, and greatly renowned for his talents as 
 a soldier and a statesman. In consequence of some calum- 
 nious reports, he was called to court to give an account of 
 his administration ; and on presenting himself to the king, 
 being troubled with the gout and of short stature, he carried, 
 for matter of convenience, his sword in his hand. His 
 majesty, it seems, did not like this sword-in-hand style of 
 approaching him, and, turning his back on Ossuna, left the 
 room without speaking. The duke, probably unconscious 
 of the cause of the king's displeasure, was much incensed at 
 this treatment, and was overheard to mutter, " This comes of 
 serving boys." The words being reported to his majesty, 
 an order was given for Ossuna's arrest. He was committed 
 
MORAL. 21? 
 
 prisoner to a monastery not far from Madrid, and there he 
 continued till his beard reached his girdle. Growing then 
 very ill, he was permitted to go to his house at Madrid, 
 where he died about the year 1622. 
 
 Parliamentary Etiquette. — In France, under the old 
 regime, there was an honourable distinction paid to the Tiers 
 Etat, or commons, by the other two orders, very different 
 from what takes place in Britain. When a royal session 
 occurred, the commons were received by the nobles and 
 clergy standing and uncovered. In parliament, when the 
 king meets the lords and commons, the commons are not 
 permitted to sit down, but must stand below the bar. The 
 French assume to themselves the credit of being the politest 
 nation in the world, and this anecdote alone may suffice to 
 vindicate their title to the distinction. 
 
 Satisfying a Coquette. — It is much harder to satisfy a 
 lady of little sense in etiquette than one of discrimination, 
 education, and refinement. The first knows nothing of po- 
 liteness but what she has learned ; the latter penetrates every 
 shade of character, and instantly appreciates real gentlemanly 
 feeling, that will not stoop to vain flattering attentions in its 
 manly independence, nor offer an insult to a woman of sense 
 by treating her as a mere creature of whim, to whom a cer- 
 tain round of unmeaning ceremonies must be paid. 
 
 Spanish Etiquette. — The etiquette or the rules to be 
 observed in the royal palaces is necessary, writes Baron 
 Bielfield, for keeping order at court. In Spain it was car- 
 ried to such lengths as to make martyrs of their kings. Here 
 is an instance at which, in spite of the fatal consequences it 
 produced, one cannot refrain from smiling. 
 
 Philip the Third was gravely seated by the fireside ; the 
 firemaker of the court had kindled so great a quantity of 
 wood that the monarch was nearly suffocated with heat, and 
 his grandeur would not suffer him to rise from the chair ; 
 the domestics could not presume to enter the apartment, be- 
 cause it was against the etiquette. At length the Marquis 
 de Pota appeared, and the king ordered him to damp the 
 fires ; but he excused himself, alleging that he was forbid- 
 den by the etiquette to perform such a function, for which 
 the Duke d'Usseda ought to be called upon, as it was his 
 business. The duke was gone out, the fire burned fiercer, 
 and the king endured it rather than derogate from his dig- 
 
 Ee 10 
 

 218 ANECDOTES. 
 
 nity ; but his blood was heated to such a degree that an 
 erysipelas of the head appeared the next day, which, suc- 
 ceeded by a violent fever, carried him off in 1621, in the 
 twenty-fourth year of his age. 
 
 The palace was once on fire ; a soldier, who knew the 
 king's sister was in her apartment, and must inevitably have 
 been consumed in a few moments by the flames, at the risk of 
 his life rushed in, and brought her highness safe out in his 
 arms ; but the Spanish etiquette was here wofully broken 
 into ! The loyal soldier was brought to trial, and as it was 
 impossible to deny that he had entered her apartment, the 
 judges condemned him to die ! The Spanish princess, how- 
 ever, condescended, in consideration of the circumstance, to 
 pardon the soldier, and very benevolently saved his life ! 
 
 POLITENESS. 
 
 When Sir William Johnson returned the salute of a negro 
 who had bowed to him, he was reminded that he had done 
 what was very unfashionable. " Perhaps so," said Sir Wil- 
 liam, " but I would not be outdone in good manners by a 
 negro." 
 
 A similar anecdote is related of Pope Clement XIV. (Gan- 
 ganelli). When he ascended the papal chair, the ambassa- 
 dors of the several states represented at his court waited on 
 him with their congratulations. When they were introduced 
 and bowed, he returned the compliment by bowing also, on 
 which the master of the ceremonies told his highness that 
 he should not have returned the salute. " Oh, I beg your 
 pardon," said the good pontiff; " I have not been pope long 
 enough to forget good manners." 
 
 Polite Pillaging. — When Field-marshal Fretag was 
 taken prisoner at Rexpoede, the French hussar who seized 
 him, perceiving that he had a valuable watch, said, " Give 
 me your watch." The marshal instantly complied with the 
 demand of the captor. A short time after, when he was lib- 
 erated by General Walmoden, and the French hussar had 
 become a prisoner in his turn, he with great unconcern pull- 
 ed the marshal's watch from his pocket, and, presenting it 
 to him, said, " Since fate has turned against me, take back 
 this watch ; it belonged to you, and it would not be so well 
 
MORAL. 219 
 
 to let others strip me of it." The marshal, pleased with the 
 honesty of the hussar, bid him keep the watch in remem- 
 brance of his having once had its owner for a prisoner. 
 
 Doctor Barrow. — The celebrated Lord Rochester one 
 day met Dr. Barrow in the Park, and being determined, as 
 he said, to put down the rusty piece of divinity, accosted 
 him by taking off his hat, and, with a profound bow, ex- 
 claimed, "Doctor, I am yours to my shoe-tie." The doctor, 
 perceiving his aim, returned the salute with equal ceremony, 
 " My lord, I am yours to the ground." His lordship then 
 made a deeper congee, and said, "Doctor, I am yours to the 
 centre." Barrow replied, with the same formality, " My 
 lord, I am yours to the antipodes ;" on which Rochester 
 made another attempt, by exclaiming, " Doctor, I am yours 
 to the lowest pit of hell." " There, my lord," said Barrow, 
 * I leave you," and immediately walked away. 
 
 MODESTY. 
 
 Washington. — When General Washington, the immor- 
 tal saviour of his country, had closed his career in the French 
 and Indian war, and had become a member of the House of 
 Burgesses, the speaker, Robinson, was directed, by a vote 
 of the house, to return their thanks to that gentleman, on be- 
 half of the colony, for the distinguished military services 
 which he had rendered to his country. As soon as Wash- 
 ington took his seat, Mr. Robinson, in obedience to this order, 
 and following the impulse of his own generous and grateful 
 heart, discharged the duty with great dignity, but with such 
 warmth of colouring and strength of expression as entirely 
 confounded the young hero. He rose to express his acknowl- 
 edgments for the honour ; but such were his trepidation 
 and confusion that he could not give distinct utterance to a 
 single syllable. He blushed, stammered, and trembled for 
 a second ; when the speaker relieved him by a stroke of 
 address that would have done honour to Louis XIV. in his 
 proudest and happiest moments. " Sit down, Mr. Washing- 
 ton," said he, with a conciliating smile ; " your modesty is 
 equal to your valour, and that surpasses the power of any 
 language that I possess." 
 
220 ANECDOTES. 
 
 FEMALE CONSTANCY. 
 
 A man in the contest for liberty in the first of the Amer- 
 ican war was taken from home, and left a wife and one 
 child. He was not heard of throughout the war. His 
 wife hoped that after the peace he would come home, if 
 alive ; therefore all temptations to marriage she rejected, 
 though she had many. After eight years had gone by, and 
 all hopes of her dear husband's return lost, she consented 
 to give her hand in a second marriage. The guests were 
 bidden, the ceremony past, and supper preparing. Hei 
 little daughter happened to go into the kitchen, and there 
 was a poor stranger sitting among the servants. She eyed 
 him, and thought she saw some of the traits of her father in 
 his countenance. She stepped in and privately told her 
 mother. The bride immediately left the company to take a 
 look at the stranger, but little features of her former husband 
 could she see in his war-worn face. She asked him if he 
 ever was in that neighbourhood before ; he told her he 
 thought he had been. She asked him if he was ever in that 
 house before ; he said he thought he had been. She desired 
 him to tell her plainly what his name was ; he told her, and 
 she found it was the husband of her youth. She led him 
 in to the company, and told them " here is my long-lost hus- 
 band ;" and, after she had given sufficient vent to her joy- 
 ous grief, she told the bridegroom he and she were as they 
 were the day they were born, and no harm done through 
 the mistaken marriage ! 
 
 Captives before Cyrus. — Xenophon relates, that when 
 an Armenian prince had been taken captive with his princess 
 by Cyrus, and was asked what he would give to be restored 
 to his kingdom and liberty, he replied, " As for my kingdom 
 and liberty, I value them not ; but if my blood would redeem 
 my princess, I would cheerfully give it for her." When 
 Cyrus had liberated them both, the princess was asked, 
 " What think you of Cyrus ?" To which she replied, " I did 
 not observe him ; my whole attention was fixed upon the 
 generous man who would have purchased my liberty with 
 his life." 
 
 Paulina. — Paulina, the wife of Seneca, being determined 
 not to survive her husband, whom Nero had condemned to 
 death, opened a vein in her arm, and would soon have bled 
 
MORAL. 221 
 
 to death if the tyrant had not sent persons who compelled 
 her to stop the blood. For the remainder of her life her 
 face wore an unusual paleness ; which, says Tacitus, was 
 a glorious testimony of her fidelity to her husband. 
 
 Affecting Meeting. — In one of the mining districts of 
 Hungary there lately occurred the following affecting and 
 most extraordinary incident : 
 
 In opening a communication between two mines, the corpse 
 of a miner, apparently about twenty years of age, was found 
 in a situation which indicated that he had perished by an 
 accidental falling in of the mine. 
 
 The body was in a state of softness and pliability, the 
 features fresh and undistorted, and the whole body completely 
 preserved, as is supposed, from the impregnation with the 
 vitriolic water of the mine. When exposed to the air the 
 body became stiff, but the features and general air were not 
 decomposed. The person of the deceased was not recog- 
 nised by any one present ; but an indistinct recollection of 
 the accident, by which the sufferer had thus been ingulfed in 
 the bowels of the earth for more than half a century, was pro- 
 longed by tradition among the miners and the country people. 
 Farther inquiry was here dropped, and the necessary ar- 
 rangements made to inter the body with the customary rites 
 of burial. At this moment, to the astonishment of all pres- 
 ent, there suddenly appeared a decrepit old woman of the 
 neighbouring village, who, supported by crutches, had left 
 her bedridden couch, to which infirmity had for years con- 
 fined her, and advanced to the scene with feelings of joy, and 
 grief, and anxiety so intensely painted on her aged face as 
 to give her the appearance of an inspired person, and with 
 an alacrity which seemed truly miraculous. 
 
 The old woman gazed upon the corpse for an instant, and 
 sweeping the long harr from its forehead in order to obtain 
 a more perfect view of its features, her countenance became, 
 as it were, supernaturally lighted up ; and, in the midst of 
 her hysteric cries and sobs, she declared the body to be that 
 of a young man to whom she had been engaged by ties of 
 mutual affection and the promise of marriage more than sixty 
 years before ! In the intervals of gushing floods of tears, 
 and the fainting fits of her exhausted frame, she poured out 
 thanks to Heaven that she had again beheld the object of her 
 earliest affections, and declared that she could now descend 
 to the tomb content. The powers of life were now pros- 
 trated by her agitated feelings and exertion, and she was 
 
222 ANECDOTES. 
 
 borne homeward by the villagers ; but, ere she proceeded 
 far from the object of her solicitude, she was in a state to 
 join him. Her spirit, as if satisfied, had fled ; and the affec- 
 tionate pair, whom misfortune had rent asunder, were now 
 housed in one grave together. 
 
 Galatian Widow. — Simorix, being enamoured of Cam 
 ma, a lady of Galatia, assassinated her husband Sinatus, 
 and then sought her hand. Camma, after having long re- 
 sisted the presents and entreaties of Simorix, being at last 
 apprehensive that he would have recourse to violence, pre- 
 tended to give her consent to espouse him. She engaged 
 him to meet her in the Temple of Diana, of which she was 
 the priestess, in order to give solemnity to their union. It 
 was the custom that the bride and bridegroom should drink 
 out of the same cup. Camma first took the vase, in which 
 she had infused a mortal poison, and, after drinking freely, 
 presented it to Simorix, who, not having the slightest suspi- 
 cion, drank off the remainder. Camma, transported with 
 joy, instantly exclaimed, " I die happy, since my honour is 
 preserved, and the murder of my husband is avenged !" 
 They both expired soon after. 
 
 Melancholy Instance of Female Constancy and 
 Tenderness. — A young lady of a good family and hand- 
 some fortune had for some time extremely loved, and been 
 equally beloved by, Mr. James Dawson, one of those unhap- 
 py gentlemen who suffered at Kennington Common for high 
 treason ; and had he been acquitted, or after condemnation 
 found the royal mercy, the day of his enlargement was to 
 have been that of their marriage. 
 
 I will not prolong the narrative by any repetition of what 
 she suffered on sentence being passed upon him ; none ex- 
 cepting those utterly incapable of feeling any soft or gener- 
 ous emotions but may conceive her agonies ; besides, the 
 sad catastrophe will be sufficient to convince you of their 
 sincerity. Not all the persuasions of her kindred could pre- 
 vent her from going to the place of execution ; she was de- 
 termined to see the last of a person so dear to her, and 
 accordingly followed the sledges in a hackney-coach, ac- 
 companied by a gentleman nearly related to her and one 
 female friend. She got near enough to see the fire kindled 
 which was to consume that heart she knew so much devoted, 
 to her, and all the other dreadful preparations for his fate, 
 without being guilty of any one of those extravagances her 
 
MORAL. 223 
 
 friends had apprehended ; but when all was over, and she 
 found that he was no more, she drew her head back into the 
 coach, and crying out, " My dear, I follow thee ! Lord Jesus, 
 receive both our souls together !" fell on the neck of her com- 
 panion, and expired in the very moment she was speaking. 
 
 Bonaparte. — Monsieur le Compte de Polignac had been 
 raised to honour by Bonaparte ; but, from some unaccount- 
 able motive, betrayed the trust his patron reposed in him. 
 As soon as Bonaparte discovered the perfidy, he ordered 
 Polignac to be put under arrest. Next day he was to have 
 been tried, and, in all probability, would have been con- 
 demned, as his guilt was most undoubted. In the interim, 
 Madame Polignac solicited and obtained an audience of the 
 emperor. " I am sorry, madam, for your sake," said he, 
 " that your husband has been implicated in an affair which 
 is marked throughout with such deep ingratitude." " He 
 may not have been so guilty as your majesty supposes," 
 said the countess. " Do you know your husband's signa- 
 ture ?" asked the emperor, as he took a letter from his pocket 
 and presented it to her. Madame de Polignac hastily glanced 
 over the letter, recognised the writing, and fainted. As soon 
 as she recovered, Bonaparte, offering her the letter, said, 
 ** Take it; it is the only legal evidence against your hus- 
 band; there is a fire beside you." Madame de Polignac 
 eagerly seized the important document, and in an instant 
 committed it to the flames. The life of Polignac was saved ; 
 his honour it was beyond the power even of the generosity 
 of an emperor to redeem. 
 
 Indian Virtue. — A married woman of the Shawanee In- 
 dians made this beautiful reply to a man whom she met in 
 the woods, and who implored her to love and look on him. 
 " Oulman, my husband," said she, " who is for ever before 
 my eyes, hinders me from seeing you or any other person." 
 
 Female Captive. — The Portuguese making war on the 
 Island of Ceylon, their general, Thomas de Susa, made 
 many prisoners, among whom was a beautiful female Indian, 
 who had just before promised to give her hand in marriage 
 to a handsome youth of her own country. The lover, as 
 soon as he heard of the unfortunate lot of his beloved mis- 
 tress, hastened to throw himself at her feet, when she re- 
 ceived him with open arms. Their misfortunes not permit- 
 ting them to live together in the enjoyment of freedom, he 
 
224 ANECDOTES. 
 
 freely took upon himself to divide with her the horrors of 
 slavery. 
 
 Susa, who had a noble heart, susceptible of the tenderest 
 feelings, was much affected at this scene. " It is enough," 
 said he to the generous youth, " that love loads you with 
 chains ; and may you wear them to the latest period of your 
 life. Go, and live happy together; you are from this mo- 
 ment free from my fetters." The two lovers threw them- 
 selves at his feet, and ever afterward attached themselves to 
 their generous deliverer, wishing to live under the laws of a 
 nation which knew so nobly how to employ their victories. 
 
 Chastity. — When Appius Claudius, the decemvir, be- 
 came enamoured of Virginia, and her father had heard of 
 his violent proceedings and intentions, he arrived at the place 
 to which his daughter was removed, and demanded to see 
 her; and when his request was granted, he snatched a knife 
 and plunged it into Virginia's breast, exclaiming, " This is 
 all, my dearest daughter, I can give thee to preserve thy 
 chastity from the lust and violence of a tyrant !" However 
 unjustifiable this might be, to take away the life of his child, 
 it showed his great abhorrence of the act of unchastity, at 
 least in his own daughter. 
 
 The Widow and the Bishop. — A poor widow, encouraged 
 by the famed generosity of an ecclesiastic of great eminence, 
 came into the hall of his palace with her only daughter, a 
 beautiful girl of fifteen years of age. The good divine, dis- 
 cerning marks of extraordinary modesty in their demeanour, 
 engaged the widow to tell her wants freely. She, blushing 
 and in tears, told him she owed five crowns for rent, which 
 her landlord threatened to force her to pay immediately, 
 unless she would consent to the ruin of her child, who had 
 been educated in virtue ; and she entreated that the prelate 
 would interpose his sacred authority, till, by industry, she 
 might be enabled to pay her cruel oppressor. The bishop, 
 moved with admiration of the woman's virtue, bid her be of 
 courage ; he immediately wrote a note, and putting it into 
 the hands of the widow, said, " Go to my steward with this 
 paper, and he will give you five crowns to pay your rent." 
 This poor woman, after a thousand thanks to her generous 
 benefactor, hastened to the steward, who immediately pre- 
 sented her with fifty crowns. This she refused to accept; 
 and the steward, unable to prevail on her to take it, agreed 
 to return with her to his master ; who, when informed of the 
 
MORAL. 225 
 
 circumstance, said, " It is true I made a mistake in writing 
 fifty crowns, and I will rectify it." On which he wrote 
 another note ; and turning to the poor woman, whose honesty 
 had the second time brought her before him, said, " So much 
 candour and virtue deserve a recompense ; here I have or- 
 dered you five hundred pounds ; what you can spare of it lay 
 up as a marriage portion for your daughter." 
 
 JEALOUSY. 
 
 A Jealous Man is a melancholy he-cat, a wild-man, a 
 staring-man ; looks behind him as if a kennel of hounds had 
 him in chase. He sighs, beats his breast, and wrings his 
 hands. Is his wife fair, though ever so honest, she is false. 
 Is she witty ? then she is wanton. Speaks any friend to her ? 
 he woos her. Smile she on him ? there is a promise. Is 
 she merry at home ? it is but to mock him. Is she sad ? she 
 will anon be merry abroad. Is she gone far from home ? 
 then his head aches and his breast pants. Stays she out 
 long ? then he is hornmad, and runs bellowing like a bull 
 up and down to find her. His body grows lean with fretting, 
 his face pale with his fears. His goods melt away by his 
 carelessness. Old age claps him on the shoulder while he 
 is yet young, and his head grows white before it is old. 
 His children he will not love because he suspects they are 
 bastards. He is never merry at heart, never sleeps soundly ; 
 never sits, but sighs ; never walks, but is distracted ; and 
 dies in despair to leave her to another. 
 
 Denon. — When Denon was travelling in Egypt, in 1798, 
 with the troops across the desert from Alexandria, they met 
 a young woman whose face was smeared with blood. In 
 one hand she held a young infant, while the other was 
 vacantly stretched out to the object that might strike or guide 
 it. The curiosity of Denon and his companions was excited. 
 They called their guide, who was also their interpreter. 
 They approached ; and they heard the sighs of a being from 
 whom the organs of tears had been torn away. Astonished, 
 and desirous of an explanation, they questioned her. They 
 learned that the dreadful spectacle before their eyes had 
 been produced by a fit of jealousy. Its victim presumed to 
 utter no murmurs, but only prayers in behalf of the innocent 
 who partook her misfortune, and which was on the point of 
 
 F F 
 

 226 ANECDOTES. 
 
 perishing with misery and hunger. The soldiers, struck 
 with compassion, and forgetting their own wants in the 
 presence of the more pressing ones of others, immediately 
 gave her a part of their rations. They were bestowing part 
 of the precious water which they were threatened soon 
 wholly to be without themselves, when they beheld the fu- 
 rious husband approach, who, feasting his eyes at a distance 
 with the fruits of his vengeance, had kept his victims in sight. 
 He sprang forward, snatched from the woman's hand the 
 bread, the water (that last necessary of life !) which pity 
 had given to misfortune. " Stop !" cried he, " she has lost 
 her honour, she has wounded mine ; this child is my shame ; 
 it is the son of guilt !" The soldiers resisted the attempt to 
 deprive the woman of the food they had given her. His 
 jealousy was irritated at seeing the object of his fury become 
 that of the kindness of others. He drew a dagger, and gave 
 the woman a mortal blow ; then seized the child, threw it 
 into the air, and destroyed it by its fall ; afterward, with a 
 stupid ferocity, he stood motionless, looking steadfastly at 
 those who surrounded him, and defying their vengeance. 
 M. Denon inquired if there were no prohibitory laws against 
 so atrocious an abuse of authority. He was answered that 
 the man had done wrong to stab the woman, because, at the 
 end of forty days, she might have been received into a house 
 and fed by charity. 
 
 MATRIMONY. 
 
 Choice of a Husband. — An Athenian who was hesitating 
 whether to give his daughter in marriage to a man of worth 
 wifti a small fortune, or to a rich man who had no other 
 recommendation, went to consult Themistocles on the sub- 
 ject. '* I would bestow my daughter," said Themistocles, 
 " upon a man without money rather than upon money with- 
 out a man." 
 
 Husband and Wife. — Among some who have read 
 Blackstone and more who have not, an opinion prevails that 
 a husband may chastise his wife, provided the weapon be 
 not thicker than his little finger. For the honour of Eng- 
 land, we wish we could pronounce this opinion as legally 
 erroneous as it is ungallant and barbarous. It is much to 
 the credit of our descendants on the other side of the Atlan- 
 
MORAL. 227 
 
 tic that they have not carried with them this relic of the 
 once savage state of their forefathers. In a case which 
 came before the Supreme Court of South Carolina some 
 years ago, the presiding judge summed up an admirable 
 view of the law of the republic on the matrimonial relation 
 by quoting these lines from the " Honey Moon," which may 
 be said also to contain the law of humanity on the subject : 
 
 11 The man that lays his hand upon a woman 
 Save in the way of kindness, is a wretch 
 Whom 'twere gross flattery to name a coward." 
 
 A Monster. — Dr. Franklin, with a party of his friends, 
 was overtaken by bad weather on one of the West Indian 
 Islands (which they had put into on a voyage to Europe), 
 and took shelter in a public house kept by a foreigner. Upon 
 their requesting that more wood might be brought and put 
 on the fire, the inhuman brute of a landlord ordered his sickly 
 wife to go out in the storm and bring it, while a young, sturdy 
 negro wench stood by doing nothing ! When asked why he 
 did not send the girl rather than his wife, he replied, " That 
 wench is worth eighty pounds ; and if she should catch cold 
 and die, it would be a great loss to me ; but, if my wife dies, 
 I can get another, and perhaps money into the bargain." 
 
 Apology for Turkish Polygamy. — Lady C was 
 
 one day rallying the Turkish ambassador concerning its 
 being permitted in the Alcoran to each Mussulman to have 
 many wives. " 'Tis true, madam," replied the Turk, " and 
 it permits it that the husband may, in several, find the vari- 
 ous accomplishments which many English women like your 
 ladyship singly possess." 
 
 The Queen's Arrival. — On the sixth of September the 
 princess arrived at Harwich, and on the eighth reached town. 
 Her highness alighted at the garden gate of St. James's pal- 
 ace, and was handed out of the coach by his majesty's broth- 
 er, the Duke of York. Upon her entrance into the garden 
 she sunk on her knee to the king, who in a most affectionate 
 manner raising her up, saluted her, and then led her with 
 his right hand into the palace, where she dined with his 
 majesty, the Princess Dowager, and the Princess Augusta. 
 
 In the evening, at nine o'clock, the marriage was celebra- 
 ted with great solemnity. Just previous to the ceremonial 
 the princess was observed to look more than usually thought- 
 ful ; the Duchess of Ancaster took the liberty of saying some- 
 
228 ANECDOTES. 
 
 thing to rally her spirits. " Ah !" replied her highness, " you 
 have gone through the ceremony twice, and may think no- 
 thing of it ; but to me it is too new and momentous an event 
 not to fill me with apprehension." 
 
 Bridal Tragedy. — At an Indian wedding in the Philip 
 pine Islands, the bride retired from the company in orde r to 
 go down to the river to wash her feet. As she was thus em- 
 ployed an alligator seized her. Her shrieks brought the 
 people to the place, who saw her between the monster's 
 teeth, and just drawn under the water. The bridegroom in- 
 stantly plunged after, and, with his dagger in his hand, pur- 
 sued the monster. After a desperate conflict he made him 
 deliver up his prey, and swam to the shore with the body 
 of his dead wife in his arms ! 
 
 Marriage in Lapland. — It is death in Lapland to marry 
 a maid without the consent of her parents or friends. When 
 a young man has formed an attachment to a female, the 
 fashion is to appoint their friends to meet to behold the two 
 young parties run a race together. The maid is allowed in 
 starting the advantage of a third part of the race, so that it 
 is impossible, except willing of herself, that she should be 
 overtaken. If the maid overrun her suiter, the matter is 
 ended ; he must never have her, it being penal for the man 
 to renew the motion of marriage. But if the virgin has an 
 affection for him, though at first she runs hard to try the truth 
 of his love, she will (without Atalanta's golden balls to re- 
 tard her speed) pretend some casualty, and make a voluntary 
 halt before she cometh to the mark or end of the race. 
 Thus none are compelled to marry against their own wills ; 
 and this is the cause that, in this poor country, the married 
 people are richer in their own contentment than in other 
 lands, where so many forced matches make feigned love 
 and cause real unhappiness. 
 
 Marrying Youth and Age. — Gumilla relates, in the 
 History of the River Orinoco, that there is one nation which 
 marries old men to girls and old women to youths, that age 
 may correct the petulance of youth. For, they say, that to 
 join young persons equal in youth and imprudence in wed- 
 lock together is to join one fool to another. The marriage 
 of young men with old women is, however, only a kind of 
 apprenticeship, for after they have served for some months 
 they are permitted to marry women of their own age. 
 
MORAL. 229 
 
 Matrimonial Export. — In the early settlement of Vir- 
 ginia, when the adventurers were principally unmarried men, 
 it was deemed necessary to export such women as could be 
 prevailed upon to leave England as wives for the planters. 
 A letter accompanying a shipment of these matrimonial ex- 
 iles, dated London, August 12, 1621, is illustrative of the 
 manners of the times, and the concern then felt for the wel- 
 fare of the colony and for female virtue. It is as follows : 
 
 " We send you in a ship one widow and eleven maids, 
 for wives for the people of Virginia ; there hath been espe- 
 cial care had in the choice of them, for there hath not one of 
 them been received but upon good commendations. 
 
 " In case they cannot be presently married, we desire that 
 they may be put with several householders that have wives 
 till they can be provided with husbands. There are nearly 
 fifty more that are shortly to come, and are sent by our hon- 
 ourable lord and treasurer, the Earl of Southampton, and cer- 
 tain worthy gentlemen, who, taking into their consideration 
 that the plantation can never flourish till families be planted, 
 and the respect of wives and children for their people on the 
 soil, therefore have given this fair beginning ; for the reim- 
 bursing of whose charges it is ordered that every man that 
 marries them give one hundred and twenty pounds of best 
 leaf tobacco for each of them. 
 
 " Though we are desirous that the marriage be free, ac- 
 cording to the laws of nature, yet we would not have those 
 maids deceived and married to servants, but only to such 
 freemen or tenants as have means to maintain them. We 
 pray you, therefore, to be fathers of them in this business, 
 not enforcing them to marry against their wills." 
 
 African Lovers. — Among the unfortunate victims of the 
 frightful traffic in slaves brought to Tripoli in 1788, were a 
 beautiful black female, about sixteen years of age, and a 
 young man of good appearance. They had been purchased 
 by a Moorish family of distinction. They were obliged to 
 be watched night and day, and all instruments kept out of 
 their reach, as they were continually endeavouring to destroy 
 themselves, and sometimes each other. Their story will 
 prove that friendship and fidelity are not strangers to the 
 negro race. This female, who had been the admiration of 
 her own country, had bestowed her heart and her hand on 
 the man who was then with her. Their nuptials were going 
 to be celebrated, when her friends one morning missing her, 
 traced her steps to the corner of an adjacent wood, immedi- 
 
230 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ately apprehending that she had been pursued, and that she 
 had flown to the thicket for shelter, which is the common 
 and best resource of escape from those who scour the coun- 
 try for slaves. 
 
 The parents went directly to her lover and told him of 
 their distress. He, without losing time to search for her in 
 the thicket, hastened to the seaside, where his foreboding 
 heart told him he should find her in some vessel anchored 
 there for carrying off slaves. He was just easy enough in 
 his circumstances not to be afraid of being bought or stolen 
 himself, as it is in general only the unprotected that are car- 
 ried off by these hunters of the human race. His conjec- 
 tures were just ; he saw his betrothed wife in the hands of 
 those who had stolen her. He knelt to the robbers who had 
 now the disposal of her, to know the price they demanded 
 for her. A hundred mahboobs (nearly a hundred pounds) 
 was fixed ; but, alas ! all that he was worth did not make 
 him rich enough for the purchase. He did not hesitate a 
 moment to sell his little flock of sheep and the small piece 
 of ground he possessed ; and, lastly, he disposed of himself 
 to those who had taken his companion. Happy that they 
 would do him this last favour, he cheerfully accompanied 
 her, and threw himself into slavery for her sake. This faith- 
 ful pair, on their arrival at Tripoli, were sold to a merchant, 
 who determined on sending off the female with the rest of the 
 slaves, to be sold again, she having, from her beauty, cost 
 too much money to be kept as a servant. The merchant 
 intended to keep the man as a domestic in his own family. 
 The distressed pair, on hearing they were to be separated, 
 became frantic. They threw themselves on the ground be- 
 fore some of the ladies of the family whom they saw pass- 
 ing by ; and finding that one of them was the daughter of 
 their master, they clung around her and implored her as- 
 sistance ; nor could their grief be moderated until the hu- 
 mane lady assured them that she would intercede with her 
 father not to part them. 
 
 The black fell at the merchant's feet and entreated him 
 not to separate them, declaring that if he did he would lose 
 all the money he had paid for them both ; for that, although 
 knives and poison were kept out of their way, no one could 
 force them to eat ; and that no human means could make 
 them break the oath they had already taken in the presence 
 of the god they worshipped, never to live asunder. 
 
 Tears and entreaties prevailed so far with the merchant 
 as to suffer them to remain together, and they were sold to 
 
MORA L. 231 
 
 the owner of a merchant vessel, who took them with sev- 
 eral others to Constantinople. 
 
 A LITERARY WIFE. 
 
 "Marriage is such a rabble rout, 
 That those that are out would fain get in ; 
 And those that are in would fain get out." 
 
 Chaucer. 
 
 How delightful is it when the mind of the female is so 
 happily disposed and so richly cultivated as to participate 
 in the literary avocations of her husband ! It is then truly 
 that the intercourse of the sexes becomes the most refined 
 pleasure. What delight, for instance, must the great Bu- 
 daeus have tasted, even in those works which must have 
 been for others a most dreadful labour ! His wife left him 
 nothing to desire. The frequent companion of his studies, 
 she brought him the books he required to his desk; she 
 compared passages and transcribed quotations : the same 
 genius, the same inclinations, and the same ardour for liter- 
 ature eminently appeared in those two fortunate persons. 
 Far from withdrawing her husband from his studies, she 
 was sedulous to animate him when he languished. Ever 
 at his side, and ever assiduous ; ever with some useful book 
 in her hand, she acknowledged herself to be a most happy 
 woman. Yet she did not neglect the education of eleven 
 children. She and Budaeus shared in the mutual cares they 
 owed their progeny. Budaeus was not insensible of his 
 singular felicity. In one of his letters he represents him- 
 self as married to two ladies : one of whom gave him boys 
 and girls, the other was Philosophy, who produced books. 
 He says that in his first twelve years Philosophy has been 
 less fruitful than Marriage ; he had produced less books than 
 children ; he had laboured more corporeally than intellectual- 
 ly ; but he hoped to make more books than children. " The 
 soul," says he, " will be productive in its turn ; it will rise on 
 the ruins of the body ; a prolific virtue is not given at the 
 same time to the bodily organs and the pen." 
 
 The wife of Barclay, author of " The Argenis," considered 
 herself as the wife of a demigod. This appeared glaringly 
 after his death : for Cardinal Barberini having erected a 
 monument to the memory of his tutor next to the tomb of 
 Barclay, Mrs. Barclay was so irritated at this that she de- 
 molished his monument, brought home his bust, and declared 
 that the ashes of so great a genius as her husband should 
 never be placed beside so villanous a pedagogue. 
 
232 ANECDOTES 
 
 Literary Men. — If the literary man unites himself to a 
 woman whose taste and whose temper are adverse to his 
 pursuits, he must courageously prepare for a martyrdom. 
 Should a female mathematician be united to a poet, it is 
 probable that she would be left to her abstractions ; to dem- 
 onstrate to herself how many a specious diagram fails when 
 brought into its mechanical operation ; or, while discovering 
 the infinite varieties of a curve, may deduce her husband's. 
 If she becomes as jealous of his books as other wives are of 
 the mistresses of their husbands, she may act the virago 
 even over his innocent papers. The wife of Bishop Cooper, 
 while her husband was employed on his Lexicon, one day 
 consigned the volume of many years to the flames, and 
 obliged that scholar to begin a second siege of Troy in a 
 second Lexicon. The wife of Whitelocke often destroyed 
 his MSS., and the marks of her nails have come down to 
 posterity in the numerous lacerations still gaping in his 
 " Memorials." The learned Sir Henry Saville, who devoted 
 more than half his life and near ten thousand pounds to his 
 magnificent edition of St. Chrysostom, led a very uneasy 
 life between that saint and Lady Saville ; what with her ten- 
 derness for him and her own want of amusement, Saint 
 Chrysostom incurred more than one danger. One of those 
 learned scholars who translated the Scriptures kept a diary 
 of his studies and his domestic calamities, for they both went 
 on together; busied only among his books, his wife from 
 many causes plunged him into debt ; he was compelled to 
 make the last sacrifice of a literary man, by disposing of his 
 library. But now, he without books and she worse and 
 worse in temper, discontents were of fast growth between 
 them. Our man of study found his wife like the remora, a 
 little fish sticking at the bottom of his ship impeding its 
 progress. He desperately resolved to fly from the country 
 and his wife. There is a cool entry in the diary on a warm 
 proceeding one morning, wherein he expresses some curiosity 
 to know the cause of his wife being out of temper ! Simpli- 
 city of a patient scholar !* The present matrimonial case, 
 however, terminated in unexpected happiness ; the wife, 
 after having forced her husband to be deprived of his library, 
 to be daily chronicling her caprices, and, finally, to take the 
 serious resolution of abandoning his country, yet, living in 
 
 * The entry may amuse. Hodie, nescio qua intemperia uxorem meam agita- 
 vit, nam pecuniam usadatam projocit humi, ac sic irata discessit. " This day, I 
 know not the cause of the ill-temper of my wife ; when I gave her money for 
 daily expenses she flung it upon the ground and departed in passion." For some, 
 this Flemish picture must be too familiar to please, too minute a copy of vulgar 
 life. 
 
MORAL. 233 
 
 good old times, religion united them again ; and as the con- 
 nubial diarist ingeniously describes this second marriage of 
 himself and his wife, " made it be with them as surgeons 
 say it is with a fractured bone, if once well set, the stronger 
 for a fracture." A new consolation for domestic ruptures ! 
 
 Observe the errors and infirmities of the greatest men of 
 genius in their matrimonial connexions. Milton carried no- 
 thing of the greatness of his mind in the choice of his wives ; 
 his first wife was the object of sudden fancy. He left the 
 metropolis, and unexpectedly returned a married man ; uni- 
 ted to a woman of such uncongenial dispositions, that the 
 romp was frightened at the literary habits of the great poet, 
 found his house solitary, beat his nephews, and ran away 
 after a single month's residence ! To this circumstance 
 we owe his famous treatise on Divorce, and a party (by no 
 means extinct) -who, having made as ill choices in their wives, 
 were for divorcing as fast as they had been for marrying, 
 calling themselves Miltonists. When we find that Moli&re, 
 so skilful in human life, married a girl from his own troop, 
 who made him experience all those bitter disgusts and ridic- 
 ulous embarrassments which he himself played off at the 
 theatre ; that Addison's fine taste in morals and in life could 
 suffer the ambition of a courtier to prevail with himself to 
 seek a countess, whom he describes under the stormy char- 
 acter of Oceana, who drove him contemptuously into solitude 
 and shortened his days ; and that Steele, warm and thought- 
 less, was united to a cold, precise " Miss Prue," as he calls 
 her, and from whom he never parted without bickerings ; in 
 all these cases we censure the great men, not their wives. 
 Salmasius's wife was a termagant ; and Christina said she 
 admired his patience more than his erudition, married to 
 such a shrew. 
 
 " The ladies, perhaps, will be surprised to find that it is 
 a question among the learned whether they ought to marry, 
 and will think it an unaccountable property of learning that 
 it should lay the professors of it under an obligation to dis- 
 regard the sex. But whatever opinion these gentlemen 
 may have of that amiable part of the species, it is very ques- 
 tionable whether, in return for this want of complaisance in 
 them, the generality of ladies would not prefer the beau an4 
 the man of fashion to the man of sense and learning. How- 
 ever, if the latter be considered as valuable in the eyes of 
 any of them, let there be Gonzagas, and I dare pronounce 
 that this question will be soon determined in their favour ; 
 and they will find converts enough to their charms." 
 
 Go 
 
234 ANECDOTES. 
 
 WOMEN. 
 
 Good Management of a Lady. — Pythus, king of the 
 Lydians, instead of promoting the progress of real improve- 
 ment and wealth, viz., the good cultivation of the soil, was so 
 much wrapped up in sordid avarice as to employ a great por- 
 tion of the labour of his subjects in working mines. His 
 queen, wishing to reform her husband and relieve his sub- 
 jects, hit on the following expedient. When he had just re- 
 turned from a journey, she ordered his table to be served 
 with a very splendid repast of gold and silver, wrought in 
 the form of fruit ! The king in vain sought to appease his 
 appetite among the sightly articles on the table ; he owned 
 that gold and silver were merely ornamental, took the hint 
 thus wisely suggested by his queen, and promoted the hap- 
 piness of his subjects by encouragement of agriculture. 
 
 A Wise Decision. — Eliza Ambert, a young Parisian 
 lady, resolutely discarded a gentleman to whom she was to 
 have been married because he ridiculed religion. Having 
 given him a gentle reproof, he replied " that a man of the 
 world could not be so oldfashioned as to regard God and re 
 ligion." Eliza started, but, on recovering herself, said, 
 " From this moment, sir, when I discover that you do not re- 
 gard religion, I cease to be yours. He who does not love 
 and honour God can n,ever love his wife constantly and sin 
 cerely." 
 
 The Scold {always despicable). — The wife of a good 
 man requested her husband to prepare some fuel and make 
 her a fire, for the purpose of enabling her to do some cook- 
 ing which was necessary for the family. When the fire had 
 got well under way, the good woman put something upon a 
 bed of the coals in a pewter basin. While she was busy about 
 the house the basin was melted, and its contents consumed 
 in the fire. Just at that time the husband came in, and the 
 woman fell to scolding him in a terrible rage for making up 
 such a hot fire ; and she kept it up in such a torrent of cen- 
 sure that the poor man retreated and left the house. 
 
 As soon as he was out of the house, a daughter, who had 
 been present and beheld the whole affair, said to her mother, 
 " How could you scold at pa so ? you know he was not to 
 blame." " Oh," said the mother, " if I had not scolded him, 
 he might have censured me for being so careless about that 
 
MORAL. 235 
 
 nice basin after I put it upon the fire. I always like to 
 have the first cut at scolding; it saves me a great deal of 
 mortification." 
 
 Wife of Dryden. — The wife of Dryden one morning 
 having come into his study at an unseasonable time, when he 
 was intently employed in some composition, and finding her 
 husband did not attend to her, exclaimed, " Mr. Dryden, you 
 are always poring upon these musty books; I wish I was 
 a book, and then I should have more of your company." 
 " Well, my dear," replied the poet, " when you do become 
 a book, pray let it be an almanac ; for then at the end of the 
 year I shall lay you quietly on the shelf, and shall be able to 
 pursue my studies without interruption." 
 
 The Wife. — It is not unfrequent that the wife mourns over 
 the alienated affections of her husband, when she has made no 
 effort herself to strengthen and increase his attachment. She 
 thinks because he once loved that he ought always to love 
 her, and she neglects those attentions which first engaged 
 his heart. Many a wife is the cause of her own neglect and 
 sorrow. That woman deserves not a husband's generous 
 love who will not greet him with smiles as he returns from 
 the labours of the day ; who will not try to chain him to his 
 home by the sweet enchantment of a cheerful heart. There 
 is not one of a thousand so unfeeling as to withstand such an 
 influence and break away from such a home. 
 
 The Submissive Wife. — A married woman was called 
 effectually by Divine grace, and became an exemplary Chris- 
 tian ; but her husband was a lover of pleasure and of sin. 
 When spending an evening, as usual, with his jovial compan- 
 ions at a tavern, the conversation happening to turn on the 
 excellences and faults of their wives, the husband just men- 
 tioned gave the highest encomiums of his wife, saying she 
 was all that was excellent, only she was a d — d Methodist. 
 " Notwithstanding which," said he, " such is her command 
 of her temper, that were I to take you, gentlemen, home with 
 me at midnight, and order her to rise and get you a supper, 
 she would be all submission and cheerfulness." The com- 
 pany looking upon this merely as a brag, dared him to make 
 the experiment by a considerable wager. The bargain was 
 made, and about midnight the company adjourned as pro- 
 posed. Being admitted, " Where is your mistress ?" said 
 the husband to the maidservant who sat up for him. " She 
 
236 ANECDOTES. 
 
 is gone to bed, sir." " Call her up," said he. " Tell her I 
 have brought some friends home with me, and desire she 
 would get up and prepare them a supper." The good wo- 
 man obeyed the unreasonable summons; dressed, came 
 down, and received the company with perfect civility ; told 
 them she happened to have some chickens ready for the 
 spit, and that supper should be got as soon as possible. The 
 supper was accordingly served up ; when she performed the 
 honours of the table with as much cheerfulness as if she had 
 expected company at a proper season. 
 
 After supper, the guests could not refrain from expressing 
 their astonishment. One of them particularly, more sober 
 than the rest, thus addressed himself to the lady : " Madam," 
 said he, "your civility fills us all with surprise. Our unrea- 
 sonable visit is in consequence of a wager, which we have 
 certainly lost. As you are'a very religious person, and can- 
 not approve of our conduct, give me leave to ask what can 
 possibly induce you to behave with so much kindness to us ?" 
 " Sir," replied she, " when I married, my husband and my- 
 self were both in a carnal state. It has pleased God to call 
 me out of that dangerous condition. My husband continues in 
 it. I tremble for his future state. Were he to die as he is, 
 he must be miserable for ever ; I think it my duty, therefore, 
 to render his present existence as comfortable as possible." 
 
 This wise and faithful reply affected the whole company. 
 It left an impression of great use on the husband's mind. 
 " Do you, my dear," said he, " really think I should be eter 
 nally miserable ? I thank you for the warning. By the 
 grace of God, I will change my conduct." From this time 
 he became another man, a serious Christian, and, conse- 
 quently, a good husband. Married Christians, especially 
 you who have unconverted partners, receive the admonition 
 intended by this pleasing anecdote. Pray and labour for 
 their conversion ; for ' What knowst thou, oh wife ! wheth- 
 er thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowst thou, oh 
 man ! whether thou shalt save thy wife ?' " — 1 Cor. vii., 16. 
 
 A hard Choice. — In the seventeenth century, the greater 
 part of the property lying upon the River Ettrick belonged 
 to Scott of Harden, who principally resided at Oakwood 
 Tower, a border house of some strength, still remaining 
 upon that river. William Scott (afterward Sir William), son 
 of the head of this family, undertook an expedition against 
 the Murrays of Elibank, whose property lay at a few miles 
 distant. He found his enemy upon their guard, was de- 
 
MORAL. 237 
 
 feated, and made prisoner in the act of driving off the cattle 
 which he had collected for that purpose. Sir Gideon, the 
 chief of the Murrays, conducted his prisoner to the castle, 
 where his lady received him with congratulations upon his 
 victory, and inquiries concerning the fate to which he des- 
 tined his prisoner. " The gallows," answered Sir Gideon ; 
 " to the gallows with the marauder." " Hout, na, Sir Gid- 
 eon," answered the considerate matron in her vernacular 
 idiom, " would you hang the winsome young Laird of Har- 
 den when ye have three ill-favoured daughters to marry ?" 
 " Right," answered the baron, who catched at the idea ; " he 
 shall either marry our daughter, mickle-mouthed Meg, or 
 strap for it." 
 
 When this alternative was proposed to the prisoner, he at 
 first stoutly preferred the gibbet to " mickle-mouthed Meg," 
 for such was the nickname of the young lady, whose real 
 name was Agnes. But at length, when he was actually led 
 forth to execution and saw no other chance of escape, he 
 retracted his ungallant resolution, and preferred the typical 
 noose of matrimony to the literal cord of hemp. It may 
 be necessary to add that " mickle-mouthed Meg" and her 
 husband were a happy and loving pair, and had a very large 
 family, to each of whom Sir William Scott bequeathed good 
 estates, besides reserving a large one for the eldest. 
 
 Singular Alternative. — It was formerly a law in Ger- 
 many that a female condemned to capital punishment would 
 be saved if any man would marry her. A young girl at Vi- 
 enna was on the point of being executed, when her youth 
 and beauty made a great impression upon the heart of one 
 of the spectators, who was a Neapolitan, a middle-aged man, 
 but excessively ugly. Struck with her charms, he deter- 
 mined to save her, and, running immediately to the place of 
 execution, declared his intention to marry the girl, and de- 
 manded her pardon according to the custom of the country. 
 The pardon was granted on condition that the girl was not 
 averse to the match. The Neapolitan then gallantly told 
 the female that he was a gentleman of some property, and 
 that he wished he was a king, that he might offer her a 
 more stronger proof of his attachment. " Alas ! sir," replied 
 the girl, " I am fully sensible of your affection and generos- 
 ity, but I am not mistress of my own heart, and I cannot 
 belie my sentiments. Unfortunately, they control my fate ; 
 and I prefer the death with which I am threatened to marry- 
 ing such an ugly fellow as you are !" The Neapolitan re- 
 
238 ANECDOTES. 
 
 tired in confusion, and the woman directed the executioner 
 to do his office. 
 
 Gipsy Equivoque. — Some young ladies who had been 
 taking a walk were accosted by a gipsy woman, who, for a 
 small reward, very politely offered to show them their hus- 
 bands' faces in a pool of water that stood near. Such an of- 
 fer was too good to be refused, and, on paying the stipulated 
 sum, the ladies hastened to the water, each in anxious ex- 
 pectation of getting a glance of her " beloved ;" but, lo ! in- 
 stead of beholding the " form and face" they so fondly an- 
 ticipated, they were surprised to see their own rosy cheeks 
 and sparkling eyes glancing up from below. " Sure you 
 are mistaken, woman," exclaimed one of them, " for we see 
 nothing but our own faces in the water." "Very true, 
 mem," replied the sagacious fortune-teller, " but these will 
 be your husbands' faces when you are married." 
 
 Mrs. Howard. — The philanthropic Howard was blessed 
 with a wife of singularly congenial disposition. On settling 
 his accounts one year he found a balance in his favour, 
 and proposed to his wife to spend the money on a visit to 
 the metropolis for her gratification. "What a beautiful cot- 
 tage for a poor family might be built with that money," was 
 the benevolent reply. The hint was immediately taken, and 
 the worthy couple enjoyed the greatest of all gratifications, 
 the satisfaction of having done good for its own sake. 
 
 Mrs. Sheridan. — Lady Lucan was heard to say a very 
 neat thing to Mrs. Sheridan : " You must certainly be a very 
 happy woman, madam, who have the felicity of pleasing the 
 man that pleases all the world." 
 
 French Farmer's Wife. — The farmer's wife, fermiere 
 (says M. de Cubieres), bestows her attention and her daily 
 cares on whatever is connected with the administration of 
 the farm. She inspects the dovecote, the farmyard, the 
 stalls, the dairy, the orchard, &c. She sells the vegetables, 
 the fruit, the produce of the dairy, the ewes and their fleeces ; 
 to her is intrusted the gathering of hemp and flax, with the 
 first operations these plants undergo ; in the southern coun- 
 tries she has also under her management the important busi- 
 ness of rearing silkworms and the sales of their produce. 
 
 She knows how to excite workmen to their labour; to the 
 lazy she gives a new life by friendly remonstrances ; and, at 
 
MORA L. 239 
 
 the same time, she supports by her praises the zeal of the 
 most laborious. 
 
 She knows how to inspire awe by a studied silence, and 
 to ensure obedience by the mildness of command ; she ren- 
 ders all her labourers faithful by bestowing on them a due 
 share of her confidence. 
 
 It is she who presides daily at the preparation of their 
 food ; in their sickness she attends them with natural care ; 
 on the days of rest she excites them to rural sports. 
 
 In short, surrounded by her labourers, by her husband, by 
 her children, who form her principal riches, she enjoys that 
 felicity which springs from benevolence ; she is happy in 
 the happiness she confers on others ; and that large family, 
 free from fear, from cupidity, from ambition, leads a happy 
 and peaceful life. 
 
 Alpine Farmers. — The farmers of the Upper Alps, 
 though by no means wealthy, live like lords in their houses, 
 while the heaviest portion of agricultural labour devolves on 
 the wife. It is no uncommon thing to see a woman yoked 
 to the plough along with an ass, while the husband guides 
 it. A farmer of the Upper Alps accounts it an act of po- 
 liteness to lend his wife to a neighbour who is too much op- 
 pressed with work ; and the neighbour, in his turn, lends his 
 wife for a few days' work whenever the favour is requested. 
 
 Secret Well Kept. — It was originally customary for the 
 senators of Rome to take their sons along with them into 
 the senate. On one occasion, Papyrius Prastextatus having 
 accompanied his father thither, heard an affair of great im- 
 portance discussed, the determination of which was deferred 
 till the following day, the strictest injunctions being given 
 that in the mean time no one should divulge a syllable of the 
 matter in hand. When young Papyrius went home, his 
 mother asked him " what the fathers had done that day in 
 the senate." He answered " that it was a secret which he 
 could not disclose." The curiosity of the lady was only the 
 more stimulated by this denial, and she pressed the boy so 
 hard, that, to get rid of her importunity, he was driven to 
 make use of the following pleasant fiction. " It was," saith 
 he, " debated in the senate, which would be more advan- 
 tageous to the commonwealth, that one man should have two 
 wives, or that one woman should have two husbands ?" 
 The lady, wonderfully stirred by this singular piece of in- 
 formation, instantly left the house and told what she had dis- 
 
240 ANECDOTES. 
 
 covered to a number of ladies, among whom the projected 
 change in their condition was discussed with no small de- 
 gree of vehemence and alarm. 
 
 Having so deep an interest in the decision of the question, 
 they thought it but right that the senate should know their 
 feelings respecting it; and next day, accordingly, they went 
 in a body, and, surrounding the doors of the senate, cried out 
 with vast clamour, " That rather than one man should marry 
 two women, one woman should marry two men." The 
 senators were in great astonishment at this strange cry, and 
 sent out to know what the women meant. On this young 
 Papyrius stepped forth, and told them what his mother had 
 desired to know, and how he had contrived to answer her. 
 The senators were much amused with the youth's explana- 
 tion ; and after sending away the women with an assurance 
 that nothing was at present intended *o be done in the affair 
 to which they alluded, they marked their sense of young 
 Papyrius's wit and secrecy by passing an order that, in fu- 
 ture, no son of a senator should be admitted to their meet- 
 ings, Papyrius excepted. 
 
 Female Depravity. — It is reported of the intriguing 
 Countess of Shrewsbury, that, disguised as a page, she held 
 the Duke of Villars's horse during his combat with her hus- 
 band, who was slain on the 16th of April, 1688, and after- 
 ward slept with her paramour in the shirt stained with her 
 husband's blood. What consummate depravity ! 
 
 Matthew Henry. — The following is an extract from 
 Henry's Commentary on the Bible : 
 
 "Adam was first formed, and then Eve, and she was 
 made of the man and for the man ; all which are urged as 
 reasons for the humility, modesty, silence, and submissive- 
 ness of that sex in general, and particularly the subjection 
 and reverence which wives owe to their husbands. Yet man 
 being made last of the creation, as the best and most excel- 
 lent of all, Eve's being made after Adam and out of him, 
 puts an honour to her sex as the glory of the man. If man 
 is the head, she is the crown ; a crown to her husband, the 
 crown of the visible creation. The man was dust refined, 
 but the woman was dust double refined, one remove farthei 
 from the earth. 
 
 " Woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam ; 
 not made out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to 
 be trampled upon by him ; but out of his side, to be equal 
 
MORAL. 241 
 
 with him ; under his arm, to be protected ; and near his heart, 
 to be beloved." 
 
 Temper. — A bad temper in a woman poisons all her hap 
 piness, and turns her milk to gall, blights her youth, brings 
 on premature fretful old age, palls all her enjoyments, ban- 
 ishes her friends, and renders home comfortless and barren. 
 Far different is the ripe, rich harvest-home made bright and 
 happy by the sweet temper and mild deportment of an amia- 
 ble wife, who, if afflictions cross her husband abroad, finds 
 comfort and consolation in his home, is happy in a compan- 
 ion whose temper is like the silver surface of a lake, calm, 
 serene, and unruffled. If he is rich, his admiring friends re- 
 joice in his prosperity and delight in his hospitality, because 
 all around him. is light, airy, and sunshine. If he is poor, 
 he breaks his crust in peace and thankfulness, for it is not 
 steeped in the water qf bitterness. An amiable temper is a 
 jewel of inestimable value in the sum of earthly happiness, 
 because with that alone the whims of a cross husband may 
 be subdued ; many vices may be overcome ; the boisterous 
 may be tamed, the unruly conquered, the fretful tranquilled, 
 the hurricane softened and hushed, as the mild zephyr that 
 sweeps over the honeysuckle under the casement. 
 
 Rash Vow. — The widow of Sir Walter Long, of Dray 
 cot, in Wiltshire, made her husband a solemn promise when 
 he was on his deathbed that she would not marry after his 
 decease ; but he had not long been interred when Sir Ste- 
 phen Fox gained her affections, and she married him. The 
 nuptial ceremony was performed at South Wraxall, where 
 the picture of Sir Walter happened to hang over the parlour 
 door. As Sir Stephen was leading his bride by the hand 
 into the parlour after returning from church, the picture of 
 Sir Walter Long, the late husband of his bride, which hung 
 over the parlour door, fell on her shoulder, and, being painted 
 on wood, broke in the fall. This accident was considered 
 by the bride as a providential warning, reminding her of her 
 promise, and imbittered the remainder of her days. 
 
 Female Influence. — A remarkable instance of the in- 
 fluence of the female sex over minds little likely to be swayed 
 by it occurred in the case of John Banier, an ileve of the 
 great Gustavus Adolphus, and one of the greatest generals 
 Europe ever produced. This brave man owed much of his 
 glory to his first wife, and tarnished it by his second. While 
 
 Hh 11 
 
242 ANECDOTE . 
 
 the wife whom he brought from Sweden lived, he was sue 
 cessful in every undertaking ; she accompanied him in every 
 campaign, and was always found to console and cheer him 
 in every danger and difficulty, and to urge him onward wher- 
 ever glory was to be gained. After her death Banier be- 
 came smitten with a lovely young German princess, whom 
 he married ; this circumstance proved the grave of all his 
 military fame, for she soon rendered him as effeminate as 
 herself; and six weeks after his marriage he died of grief 
 at having tarnished his fame as a general by a gross neglect 
 of his military duties. 
 
 Arabian Respect to Women. — So great and so sacred 
 is the respect of the Bedouin Arabs for the fair sex, that the 
 presence, the voice even, of a woman can arrest the uplifted 
 cimiter when charged with death, and bid it fall harmless. 
 Whoever has committed a crime, even murder, is safe if a 
 woman takes him under her protection ; and the right of par- 
 doning is so completely established in favour of the sex, that, 
 in some tribes where they never appear before men, and in 
 others where they are occupied in the tents, if a criminal 
 can escape to their tent he is saved. The moment he is 
 near enough to be heard he cries aloud, " I am under the 
 protection of the harem !" At these words all the women 
 reply, without appearing, " Fly from him !" and were he 
 condemned to death by the prince himself and by the coun- 
 cil of the principal persons of his tribe, the punishment of 
 his crime is remitted without hesitation immediately, and he 
 is allowed to go where he pleases. 
 
 Gossips. — Women are often accused of gossiping, but 
 we are not aware that it has ever been the subject of legal 
 penalties except at St. Helena, where, among the ordinances 
 promulgated in 1709, we find the following : " Whereas, 
 several idle, gossiping women make it their business to go 
 from house to house about this island inventing and spread- 
 ing false and scandalous reports of the good people thereof, 
 and thereby sow discord and debate among neighbours, and 
 often between men and their wives, to the great grief and 
 trouble of all good people, and to the utter extinguishing of 
 all friendship, amity, and good neighbourhood ; for the pun- 
 ishment and suppression whereof, and to the intent that all 
 strife may be ended, chanty revived, and friendship contin- 
 ued, we do order that if any women from henceforth shall 
 be convicted of tale-bearing, mischief-making, scolding, or 
 
RELIGIOUS. 243 
 
 any other notorious vices, they shall be punished by clucking 
 or whipping, or such other punishment as their crimes or 
 transgressions shall deserve, or the governor and council 
 shall think fit." 
 
 CHRISTIANITY. 
 
 The Character of Jesus Christ by an Infidel. — 
 1 For their rock is not as our rock, even our enemies them- 
 selves being judges T " He called himself the Son of God ; 
 who among mortals dare to say he was not? He always 
 displayed virtue ; he always spoke according to the dictates 
 of reason ; he always preached up wisdom ; he sincerely 
 loved all men, and wished to do good even to his persecu- 
 tors ; he developed all the principles of moral equality and 
 of the purest patriotism ; he met danger undismayed ; he 
 described the hard-heartedness of the rich ; he attacked the 
 pride of kings ; he dared to resist, even in the face of ty- 
 rants ; he despised glory and fortune ; he was sober ; he 
 solaced the indigent ; he taught the unfortunate how to suf- 
 fer ; he sustained weakness ; he fortified decay ; he con- 
 soled misfortune ; he knew how to shed tears with those that 
 wept ; he taught men to subjugate their passions, to think, 
 to reflect, to love one another, and to live happily together ; 
 he was hated by the powerful, whom he offended by his 
 teaching ; and persecuted by the wicked, whom he unmask- 
 ed ; and he died under the indignation of the blind and de- 
 ceived multitude for whose good he had always lived." 
 
 If such was the testimony of the French atheist Legui- 
 nia, surely the true Christian is at no loss to enlarge the ad- 
 mirable portraiture. 
 
 Witnesses to the Dignity and Glory of the Sav- 
 iour. — The Heavens gave witness ; a new star passed 
 through the sky at his incarnation, and at his crucifixion for 
 three hours the sun was extinguished. 
 
 The Winds and Seas gave witness ; when at his word the 
 furious tempest was hushed, and the rough billows smoothed 
 into a great calm, at the same word the inhabitants of the 
 waters crowded round the ship, and filled the net of the as- 
 tonished and worshipping disciples. 
 
 The Earth gave witness. At his death and at his resur- 
 rection it trembled to its centre. 
 
244 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Diseases gave witness. Fevers were rebuked ; issues of 
 blood were stanched ; the blind saw their deliverer ; the deaf 
 heard his voice ; the dumb published his glory ; the sick of 
 the palsy were made whole ; and the lepers were cleansed at 
 his bidding. 
 
 The Grave gave witness when Lazarus came forth in the 
 garb of its dominion, and when many bodies of the saints 
 which slept arose. 
 
 The Invisible World gave witness. Devils acknowledg- 
 ed his divinity, and flew from his presence to the abodes of 
 misery. Angels ministered unto him in the desert, the gar- 
 den, and the tomb. Yea, a multitude sang an anthem in the 
 air, in the hearing of the sheperds ; and as our risen Lord 
 ascended up to glory, they accompanied him with the sound 
 of a trumpet and shouts of triumph. 
 
 Oh, yes, he is, as the apostle affirms, " The great God, even 
 our Saviour." 
 
 The Burden of the New Song. — The following ex- 
 tract is from Phillips's new work, entitled, " Redemption, or 
 the New Song in Heaven." 
 
 " The hallelujah chorus" of the new song is the atone- 
 ment of the Lamb of God for the redemption of the soul 
 Hence it is not the life, but the death of Christ ; not his ex- 
 ample, but his sacrifice ; not his ministry, but his mediation, 
 that form the burden of this " song of songs." Not only do 
 all around the eternal throne sing nothing of their own good 
 works or great sufferings while they were on earth ; they 
 celebrate none of the Saviour's good works or virtues, but 
 confine the song of salvation exclusively and entirely to " the 
 blood of the Lamb." 
 
 This fact demands and deserves your utmost attention. I 
 do not, of course, mean to insinuate that either saints or 
 angels in heaven overlook the life of the Saviour. They can- 
 not, they would not if they might, forget that perfect model 
 of the beauty of holiness ; and they know its merits too well 
 not to admire it as the express moral image of God. But 
 still it is the Saviour's death, not his life ; his blood, not his 
 obedience, that kindles their adoring wonder, and calls forth 
 their pealing hosannahs of gratitude. Now if there be any- 
 thing self-evident from revelation to reason, it is, that what- 
 ever is done in heaven under the eye and sanction of God, 
 must be the " will of God." And it is equally obvious that 
 the grand intention of religion is, that his will should "be 
 done on earth as it is done in heaven." Now as all in heav- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 245 
 
 en ascribe salvation wholly to the blood of the Lamb, it is 
 self-evident that all on earth who refuse to do so are direct- 
 ly opposing the will of God, and thus demonstrably wrong 
 and rebellious. 
 
 Christianity the Best System of Morals. — Chris- 
 tianity is the best system for raising the standard of morals 
 and promoting the happiness of a government. The French, 
 after making the boldest experiment in profaneness ever made 
 by a nation in casting off its God, and who, for a time, seri 
 ously deliberated whether there should be any god at all; 
 who, after stamping on the yoke of Christ, attempted to es- 
 tablish order on the basis of a wild and profligate philosophy, 
 was obliged at length to bid an orator tell the abused multi- 
 tude that, under a philosophical religion, every social bond 
 was broken in pieces ; and that Christianity, or something 
 like it, must be re-established to preserve any degree of or 
 der or decency. 
 
 No Substitute for Christianity. — Infidels should nev- 
 er talk of our giving up Christianity till they can propose 
 something superior to it. Lord Chesterfield's answer, there- 
 fore, to an infidel lady was very just. When at Brussels 
 he was invited by Voltaire to ?up with him and with Ma- 
 dame C. The conversation happening to turn upon the af- 
 fairs of England, " I think, my lord," said Madame C, " that 
 the parliament of England consists of five or six hundred of 
 the best informed men in the kingdom." " True, madame, 
 they are generally supposed to be so." " What, then, my 
 lord, can be the reason they tolerate so great an absurdity 
 as the Christian religion ?" " I suppose, madame," replied 
 his lordship, " it is because they have not been able to sub- 
 stitute anything better in its stead ; when they can, I don't 
 doubt but in their wisdom they will readily adopt it." 
 
 " The religion of Jesus," says Bishop Taylor, " trampled 
 over the philosophy of the world, the arguments of the sub- 
 tle, the discourses of the eloquent, the power of princes, the 
 interest of states, the inclination of nature, the blindness of 
 zeal, the force of custom, the solicitation of passions, the 
 pleasure of sin, and the busy arts of the devil." 
 
 Sir Isaac Newton set out in life a clamorous infidel ; but, 
 on a nice examination of the evidences for Christianity, he 
 found reason to change his opinion. When the celebrated 
 Dr. Edmund Halley was talking infidelity before him, Sir 
 Isaac addressed him in these or the like words : " Dr. Hal- 
 
246 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ley, I am always glad to hear you when you speak about 
 astronomy or other parts of the mathematics, because that 
 is a subject you have studied and well understand ; but you 
 should not talk of Christianity, for you have not studied it. 
 I have, and am certain that you know nothing of the matter." 
 This was a just reproof, and one that would be very suitable 
 to be given to half the infidels of the present day, for they 
 often speak of what they have never studied, and what, in 
 fact, they are entirely ignorant of. Dr. Johnson, therefore, 
 well observed, that no honest man could be a Deist, for no 
 man could be so after a fair examination of the proofs of 
 Christianity. On the name of Hume being mentioned to 
 him, " No, sir," said he ; " Hume owned to a clergyman in 
 the bishopric of Durham that he had never read the New 
 Testament with attention." 
 
 Comfort of Religion. — " I recollect, when I was a very 
 small boy, but six years old, my father, who loved true re- 
 ligion, and who used every Sabbath afternoon, from five to 
 eight o'clock, to travel round the suburbs of Dublin, and visit 
 the sick and distressed, asked me if I would walk with him 
 to see a very old woman. We went into a remote part of 
 the city, and I followed him into an upper chamber, where 
 I was struck at the sight of an old lady lying on a pallet of 
 straw ; there was no bed, no chair, no table in the room ! 
 The moment my father entered she appeared to receive him 
 with joy. I said to my father, ' 'Tis strange ; she appears to 
 be quite happy !' I inquired, ' Dear mother, you are very old ; 
 what makes you so happy ? You appear to be very poor, 
 and have no one to attend you. What have you to eat V ' I 
 have,' said she, ' this crust, which has been lying by me these 
 two days, and I am very happy ; for, my child, / love Jesus. 
 I have religion ; my Jesus is with me here, lonely and for- 
 saken as 1 appear ! He makes my crust pleasant and my 
 drop of water delightful ; and I was that moment thinking 
 of this text, " I will be a father to the fatherless and a hus- 
 band to the widow." And God has sent your father to my 
 relief.' Here my heart was touched ; I was affected. Here 
 was this poor woman without an earthly friend, and naught 
 but religion to comfort her ; religion, the daughter of Para- 
 dise, that supports suffering humanity in this vale of tears ; 
 religion made her rich ; it was her friend." 
 
 Sir John Mason. — Sir John Mason, privy counsellor to 
 Henry VIII., upon his deathbed delivered himself to those 
 
RELIGIOUS. 247 
 
 about him to this purport : " I have seen five princes, and 
 have been privy counsellor to four. I have seen the most 
 remarkable things in foreign parts, and been present at most 
 state transactions for thirty years together, and have learned 
 this, after so many years experience, that seriousness is the 
 greatest wisdom, temperance the best physician, and a good 
 conscience the best estate ; and, were I to live my time over 
 again, I would change the court for a cloister ; my privy 
 counsellor's bustles for a hermit's retirement ; and the whole 
 life I have lived in this palace for one hour's enjoyment of 
 God in the chapel ; all things else forsake me besides my 
 God, my duty, my prayer." 
 
 The Brand plucked out of the Fire. — A plain coun- 
 tryman, who was effectually called by Divine grace under a 
 sermon from Zechariah, ch. iii., ver. 2, was some time after- 
 ward accosted by a quondam companion of his drunken fits, 
 and strongly solicited to accompany him to the alehouse. 
 But the good man strongly resisted all his arguments, saying, 
 " I am a brand plucked out of the fire." His old companion 
 not understanding this, he explained it thus : " Look ye," said 
 he ; " there is a difference between a brand and a green stick : 
 if a spark flies upon a brand that has been partly burned, it 
 will soon catch fire again ; but it is not so with a green stick. 
 I tell you I am that brand plucked out of the fire, and I dare 
 not enter into the way of temptation for fear of being set on 
 fire again." Let us imitate the conduct of this good man 
 in keeping out of the way of danger ; thus shall we enjoy 
 peace and preserve a conscience void of offence. 
 
 No Religion. — In the neighbourhood of Dea. Haven, 
 near St. Catharine's, U. C, an Indian some years since re- 
 turned from a hunting tour very much fatigued and hungry. 
 Being a young convert and a member of the Methodist con- 
 nexion, he sought for one of his society, hoping to obtain 
 something to eat. But not finding any of his own society, 
 he became weary, and thought the inhabitants might have 
 some kind of religion that would lead them to feed the 
 hungry. So, after he had entered a house, and the man told 
 him he was not a Methodist, he asked, " And what kind of 
 religion have you got?" The man replied, " No religion." 
 The Indian inquired as though he must have misunderstood 
 him. " What ! no religion ?" The man again replied, " Yes, 
 no religion." Then the Indian looked very sorry, and as he 
 withdrew towards the door he exclaimed with astonishment, 
 
248 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " Tlxen you he just like my dog ! He no religion neither." 
 Reader ! hast thou any religion ? — M. Star. 
 
 The Rock of Calvary. — In Fleming's Christology it is 
 stated that a Deist, visiting the sacred places of Palestine, 
 was shown the clefts of Mount Calvary. Examining them 
 narrowly and critically, he turned in amazement to his fel- 
 low-travellers and said, " I have long been a student of na- 
 ture, and I am sure these clefts and rents in this rock were 
 never made by nature or an ordinary earthquake ; for, by 
 such a concussion, the rock must have split according to the 
 veins, and where it was weakest in the adhesion of parts ; 
 for this," said he, " I have observed to have been done in 
 other rocks when separated or broken after an earthquake ; 
 and reason tells me it must always be so. But it is quite 
 otherwise here ; for the rock is split athwart and across the 
 veins in a most strange and preternatural manner ; and there- 
 fore," said he, " I thank God that I came hither to see the 
 standing monument of a miraculous power by which God 
 gives evidence to this day of the divinity of Christ." 
 
 Argument of a Jew against Idolatry. — " Some Ro- 
 man senators examined the Jews in this manner : ' If God 
 had no delight in the worship of idols, why did he not de- 
 stroy them V The Jews made answer, ' If men had wor- 
 shipped only things of which the world had had no need, he 
 would have destroyed the objects of their worship ; but they 
 also worship the sun and moon, stars and planets ; and then 
 he must have destroyed his world for the sake of these de- 
 luded men.' ' But still,' said the Romans, ' why does not 
 God destroy the things which the world does not want, and 
 leave those things which the world cannot be without ?' ' Be- 
 cause,' replied the Jews, ' this would strengthen the hands 
 of such as worship these necessary things, who would say, 
 Ye allow now that these are gods, since they are not de- 
 stroyed.' " 
 
 The Jew's Messiah. — A person travelling some time ago 
 in a stagecoach with a Jew, who appeared more intelligent 
 and communicative than most he had ever met with before, 
 conversed with him very freely about the opinions of the 
 modern Jews. Among other things, he asked him " in what 
 light he viewed his expected Messiah." To which the Jew 
 replied, with great seriousness, " I think so highly of him 
 that I commit my eternal all into his hands, and depend upon 
 him for everlasting life." 
 
RELIGIOUS. 249 
 
 Secretary Walsingham. — When Walsingham, a secre- 
 tary of state in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, arrived at old 
 age, he retired to the country to end his days in privacy. 
 Some of his former gay companions came one day to see 
 him, and rallied him as being melancholy ; his answer de- 
 serves serious consideration : " No, I am not melancholy, 
 but I am serious ; and it is very proper that we should be so. 
 Ah ! my friends, while we laugh everything is serious about 
 us. God is serious, who exercises patience towards us. 
 Christ is serious, who shed his atoning blood for us. The 
 Holy Ghost is serious in striving against the obstinacy oi 
 our hearts. The Holy Scriptures are serious books ; they 
 present to our thoughts the most serious concerns in all the 
 world. The holy sacraments represent very serious and 
 awful matters. The whole creation is serious. All in 
 heaven are serious. All who are in hell are serious. How r , 
 then, can we be gay and trifling ?" 
 
 At another time this great man wrote to Lord Burleigh ; 
 " We have lived long enough to our country, to our fortunes, 
 and to our sovereign ; it is high time that we begin to live 
 for ourselves and to God." 
 
 Remote Cause of the Reformation. — By those who 
 are curious in tracing the remote causes of great events, 
 Michael Angelo may perhaps be found, though unexpectedly, 
 to have laid the first stone of the reformation. His mon- 
 ument to Julius II. demanded a building of corresponding 
 magnificence, and the church of St. Peter was erected. To 
 prosecute the undertaking, money was wanted ; and indul- 
 gences were sold to supply the deficiency of the treasury. 
 A monk of Saxony opposed the authority of the church ; 
 and it is singular that the means which were employed to 
 raise the most splendid edifice to the Catholic faith which 
 the world has ever seen, should at the same time have 
 shaken that religion to its foundation. 
 
 Benefit of Religion. — Some time ago a soldier was 
 brought under a concern for the interest of his soul ; and 
 becoming visibly religious, met with no little railing both 
 from his comrades and officers : he was the servant of one 
 of the latter. At length his master asked him, " Richard, 
 what good has your religion done you ?" The soldier made 
 this direct answer. " Sir, before I was religious I used to 
 get drunk ; now I am sober. I used to neglect your busi- 
 ness ; now I perform it diligently." The officer was silenced 
 
 I i 
 
250 ANECDOTES. 
 
 and seemed satisfied. Here we see the excellence of real 
 religion ; it teaches us to deny all ungodliness, and to live 
 soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world. Hon- 
 esty, diligence, sobriety, quietness, are among its fruits. 
 Its ways are ways of pleasantness and paths of peace. 
 
 Excellent Advice. — Think of your sins in connexion 
 with your Saviour ; of your trials in connexion with your 
 supports ; of your duties in connexion with the promises ; 
 of your privations in connexion with your enjoyments ; of 
 your attainments in connexion with your privileges. — Pollok. 
 
 Liberality of Sentiment. — Kindness, liberality of sen- 
 timent, candour, charity, are expressions now exceedingly 
 perverted. They become a sanctuary in which the unprin- 
 cipled, the erroneous, and the careless too often take refuge. 
 But let it be remembered that " that candour which regards 
 all sentiments alike, and considers no error as destructive, 
 is no virtue. It is the offspring of ignorance, of insensibility, 
 and of cold indifference. The blind do not perceive the 
 difference of colours ; the dead never dispute ; ice, as it con- 
 geals, aggregates all bodies within its reach, however hete- 
 rogeneous their quality. Every virtue has certain bounds, 
 and when it exceeds them it becomes a vice ; for the last 
 step of a virtue and the first step of a vice are contiguous. 
 But, surely, it is no wildness of candour that leads us to 
 give the liberty we take, that suffers a man to think for him- 
 self unavved, and that concludes he may be a follower of 
 God, though he follows not with us." 
 
 Dr. H , bishop of W , had observed among his 
 
 hearers a poor man remarkably attentive, and made him 
 some little presents. After a while he missed his humble 
 auditor, and, meeting him, said, " John, how is it that I do 
 not see you in this aisle as usual ?" John with some hesi- 
 tation replied, " My lord, *I hope you will not be offended, 
 and I will tell you the truth. I went the other day to hear 
 the Methodists ; and I understand their plain words so much 
 better, that I have attended them ever since." The bishop 
 put his hand into his pocket and gave him a guinea, with 
 words to this effect : " God bless you ! and go where you can 
 receive the greatest profit to your soul." 
 
 The Happy Man. — The happy man was born in the city 
 of Regeneration, in the parish of Repentance unto Life, and 
 educated at the school of Obedience, and now lives in the 
 

 RELIGIOUS. 251 
 
 town of Perseverance. He works at the trade of diligence, 
 and does many jobs of self-denial. Notwithstanding he has 
 a laige estate in the county of Christian Contentment, he 
 wears the plain garment of humility, but has a better suit to 
 put on when he goes to court, clad in the robe of Christ's 
 righteousness. 
 
 He often walks in the Valley of Self-abasement, and some- 
 times climbs the Mount of Spiritual-mindedness. He break- 
 fasts every morning on spiritual prayer, and sups every even- 
 ing on the same ; also has meat to eat which the world 
 knows not of; his drink is the sincere milk of the word 
 of God. He has gospel submission in his conduct, due 
 order in his affections, sound peace in his conscience, sanc- 
 tifying love in his soul, real divinity in his breast, true hu- 
 mility in his heart, the Redeemer's yoke on his neck, the 
 world under his feet, and a crown of glory over his head. 
 
 In order to obtain this, he prays fervently, believes firmly, 
 waits patiently, works abundantly, lives holy, dies daily, 
 watches his heart, guards his senses, redeems his time, loves 
 Christ, and longs for glory. 
 
 " Thus happy he lives and happy he dies, 
 And rises in triumph above the bright skies." 
 
 Mr. Summerfield. — It is said of the late Mr. Summer- 
 field, that being asked by a bishop where he was born, he 
 replied, " I was born in England, and born again in Ireland." 
 " What do you mean ?" inquired the bishop. " Art thou a 
 master in Israel, and knowst not these things ?"• was the 
 reply. 
 
 A Clergyman's Life. — To a person who regretted to the 
 celebrated Dr. Johnson that he had not been a clergyman, 
 because he considered the life of a clergyman an easy and 
 comfortable one, the doctor made this memorable reply : 
 " The life of a conscientious clergyman is not easy. I have 
 always considered a clergyman as the father of a larger fam- 
 ily than he is able to maintain. No, sir, I do not envy a 
 clergyman's life as an easy life ; nor do I envy the clergy- 
 man who makes it an easy life." 
 
 Experience. — For a Christian to go back to past experi- 
 ences for refreshment to his soul is as vain as for a natural 
 man to depend upon the food he received last year to sustain 
 him in the present. Daily supplies of grace are as useful 
 for the soul's support in the divine life as a daily supply of 
 food is for the body. 
 
252 ANECDOTES. 
 
 The Divine Approbation. — Let a man studiously labour 
 to cultivate and improve his abilities in the eye of his Ma- 
 ker and with the prospect of his approbation. Let him en- 
 tirely reflect on the infinite value of that approbation, and 
 the highest encomiums that man can bestow will vanish into 
 nothing at the comparison. When we live in this manner, 
 we find that we live for a great and glorious end. 
 
 Is there a Hell ? — A pious minister of respectable tal- 
 ents, now in the Methodist connexion, was formerly a 
 preacher among the Universalists. The incident which led 
 him seriously to examine the grounds of that doctrine is stri- 
 king and singular. He was amusing his little son by telling 
 him the story of the " Children in the Wood." The boy 
 asked, " What became of the little innocent children ?" 
 "They went to heaven," replied the father. "What be- 
 came of the wicked old uncle ?" " He went to heaven too." 
 " Won't he kill them again, father ?" said the boy. 
 
 A Pertinent Question. — A gentleman on Long Island 
 brought forward his strong argument against the Bible ; de- 
 claring in the face of all present, " I am seventy years of 
 age, and have never seen such a place as hell after all that 
 has been said about it." His little grandson, of about seven 
 years of age, who was all the while listening to the conver- 
 sation, asked him, " Grand-daddy, have you ever been dead 
 yet?" There the conversation ended, at least for that time. 
 
 Eternity. — How sad it is that an eternity so solemn and 
 so near us should impress us so slightly and should be so 
 much forgotten ! A truly Christian traveller (how rare the 
 character !) tells us that he saw the following religious ad- 
 monition on the subject of eternity printed on a folio sheet, 
 and hanging in a public room of an inn in Savoy ; and it was 
 placed, he understood, in every house in the parish : " Un- 
 derstand well the force of the words — a God, a moment, an 
 eternity. A God who sees thee, a moment which flies from 
 thee, an eternity which awaits thee. A God whom you 
 serve so ill, a moment of which you so little profit, an eterni- 
 ty which you hazard so rashly." 
 
 A religious man, skilled in all literature, was so ardently 
 bent to impress eternity on his mind, that he read over care- 
 fully seven times a treatise on eternity, and had done it oft- 
 ener had not speedier death summoned him into it. 
 
 Awful as the consideration of eternity is, it is a source of 
 
RELIGION. 253 
 
 great consolation to the righteous. An eminent minister, 
 after having been silent in company a considerable time, and 
 being asked the reason, signified that the powers of his mind 
 had been solemnly absorbed with the thought of everlasting 
 happiness. " Oh, my friends," said he, with an energy that 
 surprised all present, " consider what it is to be for ever with 
 the Lord — for ever, for ever, for ever !" 
 
 ON THE BIBLE. 
 
 Hints to Skeptics. — The Scriptures must be what they 
 profess, the revealed will of the Creator, or blasphemous 
 fables. Let those who disbelieve them unveil the impos- 
 ture and convince the world of the delusion. Divesting 
 their cause of all insinuation, sophistry, and ridicule, let 
 them, with calm, benevolent arguments, scatter the mists 
 which the Sacred Writings have so long spread upon the 
 earth ; and after they have chased away every shade of 
 error, let them enlighten the world with information more 
 just and irresistible respecting their Maker and themselves. 
 Let them discover a Deity more pure, wise, powerful, and 
 gracious ; account for the origin and connexion of created 
 beings with greater probability ; and show us, on more con- 
 sistent principles, why we are placed in this mysterious state 
 of existence. 
 
 Let them publish laws more calculated to civilize and 
 govern society, sanctioned with more powerful and rational 
 motives. Let them vindicate the ways of God to man, and 
 direct those who " drag guilt's" horrid chain " to certain 
 peace." When all these glorious ends are effected ; when 
 the rays have, with meridian lustre, diffused the cheering 
 views through " every nation, and kindred, and tongue ;" 
 when kings on thrones and slaves at the oar are made free 
 from perplexity and sorrow by the force of their arguments, 
 let them add one glorious discovery more ; unveil futurity ; 
 show us life and immortality, or show us that "death is no- 
 thing, and nothing is after death." Disarm that monster of 
 his sting ; bruise him beneath our feet ; convince us we are 
 not the captives of this " king of terrors." 
 
 Here, ye lovers of the human race ! here unfold the as- 
 tonishing benevolence of your designs ; place yourselves as 
 in the centre of the sun, " best image here below of his Cre- 
 ator," and, with the rays he " pours wide from world to 
 
254 ANECDOTES. 
 
 world," contemplate myriads of beings shivering on the 
 verge of a dark futurity ; see the tremendous misgivings of 
 their minds ; and let the sight move you to tears more gen- 
 uine than those shed over a devoted city. Proclaim to a 
 listening world the wondrous theme. Let every ear hear, 
 every heart understand, that " death is swallowed up in vic- 
 tory." When this is done, the gospel of Jesus Christ will 
 disappear as stars before the rising sun. Truth and peace 
 will spread over the earth. The advocates for revelation 
 will no longer perplex the world with their foolishness ; they 
 will become your witnesses ; they will publish your glad ti- 
 dings to the ends of the earth ; they will not count their lives 
 dear unto them, if by any means they may spread truths so 
 full of consolation to their fellow-creatures. They wait, 
 then, for this pleasing system ; but till it is clearly known, 
 till it is attended with undeniable evidence, they must cleave 
 to Moses and the prophets, to Christ and his apostles ; they 
 must make known their sentiments with zeal proportioned 
 to the greatness of their views and the opposition they en- 
 gage. 
 
 Neglect of the Bible. — A person in Birmingham, who 
 lived in neglect of the worship of God and of reading his 
 word, was on a Lord's day sitting at the fire with his family. 
 He said he thought he would read a chapter in the Bible, 
 not having read one for a long time ; but, alas ! he was dis- 
 appointed — it was too late ; for, in the very act of reaching 
 it from the shelf, he sunk down and immediately expired ! 
 Reader, while it is called " to-day," resolutely begin to read 
 the Holy Scriptures. 
 
 Attachment to the Bible. — One thing which evident- 
 ly distinguishes the Christian from other characters is his 
 attachment to the Bible. Some have been ready to part 
 with all rather than with the Scriptures. We read of one 
 that gave a load of hay for only a leaf of one of the Epis 
 ties. The famous Boyle, who died 30th December, 1691, 
 said, speaking of the Scriptures, " I prefer a sprig of the 
 tree of life to a whole wood of bay." Judge Hale, that or- 
 nament of his profession and country, said that " if he did 
 not honour God's word by reading a portion of it every morn- 
 ing, things went not well with him all the day." Robert, 
 king of Sicily, said, " The holy books are dearer to me than 
 my kingdom ; and were I under any necessity of leaving 
 either, it should be my diadem." M. De Rentz, a French 
 
RELIGIOUS. 255 
 
 nobleman, used to read three chapters a day, with his head 
 uncovered and on his bended knees. Even the haughty 
 Louis XIV. sometimes read his Bible, and considered it as the 
 finest of all books. And such is the love of every Christian 
 to the sacred volume, that they esteem it, as Job says, " more 
 than their necessary food." 
 
 The Devil Outwitted. — A poor woman in Montreal re- 
 ceived a Bible from the British agent in that city. A Ro- 
 mish priest, hearing of the circumstance, made a visit, in- 
 tending to deprive her of the precious gift. He offered her 
 five dollars for the Bible. She declined taking it. He then 
 offered her ten, and afterward fifteen dollars ; she still de- 
 clining, he left her. The next day he returned and offered 
 her twenty-five dollars. She accepted the offer, and with 
 the money purchased twenty-five Bibles, which she dis- 
 tributed among her destitute neighbours under such condi- 
 tions that the priest could not obtain them. 
 
 THE BIBLE AN OBSCURE BOOK. 
 " Read and revere the sacred page ; a page 
 Which not the whole creation could produce, 
 Which not the conflagration shall destroy, 
 In nature's ruins not one letter lost." 
 
 Young. 
 
 A lady of suspected chastity, and who was tinctured with 
 infidel principles, conversing with a minister of the gospel, 
 objected to the Scriptures on account of their obscurity and 
 the great difficulty of understanding them. The minister 
 wisely and smartly replied, " Why, madam, what can be 
 easier to understand than the seventh commandment, ' Thou 
 shalt not commit adultery V " 
 
 Mr. Locke. — Mr. Locke, justly esteemed one of the 
 greatest masters of reason, being asked a little before his 
 dissolution " what was the shortest and surest way for a 
 young gentleman to attain a true knowledge of the Christian 
 religion, in the full and just extent of it," made this memo- 
 rable reply : " Let him study the Holy Scriptures, especially 
 the New Testament. Therein are contained the words of 
 eternal life. It has God for its author, salvation for its end, 
 and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter." 
 
 In another place he says, " The only way to attain a cer- 
 tain knowledge of the Christian religion, in its full extent 
 and purity, is the study of the Holy Scriptures." 
 
256 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Dr. Johnson. — A young gentleman, to whom the late 
 Dr. Johnson was godfather, called to see him a very short 
 time before his death. In the course of conversation, the 
 doctor asked him what books he read ; the young man re- 
 plied, " The books, sir, which you have given me." Dr. 
 Johnson, summoning up all his strength, and with a piercing 
 eye fixed upon the youth, exclaimed, with the utmost energy, 
 " Sam, Sam, read the Bible : all the books that are worth 
 reading have their foundation and their merits there." 
 
 The Bible the best Book. — A society of gentlemen, 
 most of whom had enjoyed a liberal education, and were 
 persons of polished manners, but had unhappily imbibed in- 
 fidel principles, used to assemble at each other's houses for 
 the purpose of ridiculing the Scriptures and hardening one 
 another in their unbelief. At last they unanimously formed 
 a resolution solemnly to burn the Bible, and so to be troubled 
 no more with a book which was hostile to their principles 
 and disquieting to their consciences. The day fixed upon 
 arrived ; a large fire was prepared ; a Bible was laid on the 
 table, and a flowing bowl ready to drink its dirge. For the 
 execution of their plan, they fixed upon a young gentleman 
 of high birth, brilliant vivacity, and elegance of manners. 
 He undertook the task, and, after a few enlivening glasses, 
 amid the applauses of his jovial compeers, he approached 
 the table, took up the Bible, and was walking leisurely for- 
 ward to put it into the fire ; but, happening to give it a look, 
 all at once he was seized with trembling ; paleness over- 
 spread his countenance, and he seemed convulsed. He re- 
 turned to the table, and laying down the Bible, said, with a 
 strong asseveration, " We will not burn that book till we get 
 a better" 
 
 Soon after this the same gay and lively young gentleman 
 died, and on his deathbed was led to true repentance, de- 
 riving unshaken hopes of forgiveness and of future blessed- 
 ness from that book he was once going to burn. He found 
 it, indeed, the best book, not only for a living, but a " dying 
 hour." 
 
 Infidel Prophecies. — Voltaire said " he was living in 
 the twilight of Christianity ;" so he was ; but it was the twi- 
 light of the morning. 
 
 Tom Paine, on his return from France, sitting in the City 
 Hotel in Broadway, surrounded by many of our leading men, 
 who came to do him homage, predicted that " in five years 
 
RELIGIOUS. 257 
 
 there would not be a Bible in America." What would his 
 spirit feel could it now enter the depository of the Ameri- 
 can Bible Society ? 
 
 Thomas Paine. — One very warm evening, about twenty 
 years ago, passing the house where Thomas boarded, the low- 
 er window was open, and seeing him sitting close by, and be- 
 ing on speakable terms, I stepped in for half an hour's chat ; 
 seven or eight of his friends were also present, whose doubts 
 and his own he was labouring to remove by a long talk about 
 the story of Joshua commanding the sun and moon to stand 
 still, &c, and concluded by denouncing the Bible as the 
 worst of books, and that it had occasioned more mischief 
 and bloodshed than any book ever printed, and was believed 
 only by fools and designing knaves, &c. Here he paused, 
 and while he was replenishing his tumbler with his favourite 
 brandy and water, a person, who, I afterward found, was an 
 intruder, like myself, asked Mr. Paine if he ever was in 
 Scotland. The answer was, " Yes." " So have I been," 
 continues the speaker; "and the Scotch are the greatest 
 bigots with the Bible I ever met ; it is their schoolbook ; their 
 houses and churches are furnished with Bibles, and if they 
 travel but a few miles from home, their Bible is always their 
 companion ; yet," continued the speaker, " in no country 
 where I have travelled have I seen the people so comfortable 
 and happy; their poor are not in such abject poverty as I 
 have seen in other countries ; by their bigoted custom of go- 
 ing to church on Sundays they save the wages which they 
 earn through the week, which, in other countries that I have 
 visited, is generally spent by mechanics and other young men 
 in taverns and frolics on Sundays ; and of all the foreigners 
 who land on our shores, none are so much sought after for 
 servants, and to fill places where trust is reposed, as the 
 Scotch ; you rarely find them in taverns, the watchhouse, 
 almshouse, bridewell, or state prison. Now," says he, " if 
 the Bible is so bad a book, those who use it most would be 
 the worst of people ; but the reverse is the case." This was 
 a sort of argument Paine was not prepared to answer, and a 
 historical fact which could not be denied ; so, without say- 
 ing a word, he lifted a candle from the table and walked up 
 stairs ; his disciples slipped out one by one, and left the 
 speaker and T. to enjoy the scene. — N.' Y. Spec. 
 
 Stage Anecdote. — In a stagecoach passing between 
 Washington and Baltimore, a young man, who seemed to 
 
258 ANECDOTES. 
 
 imagine that all the world was in the dark with respect to 
 religious matters, and himself in the light, was advancing 
 some of his infidel opinions, which were severally rebutted 
 by an aged minister. As a last subterfuge, he declared that, 
 even though he was ever so much disposed to follow the 
 Scriptures, he had no evidence of their being true. 
 
 " I believe," said the minister, " from your conversation, 
 that you are acquainted with mathematics ?" " Partially," 
 was the reply. " Well, then, can you solve me such a prob- 
 lem ?" repeating one of Euclid's. " No." " Do you believe 
 it can be done?" "Yes." " On what ground do you be- 
 lieve this, seeing you cannot do it yourself?" " Because it 
 is stated in Euclid's Elements." " Then you will believe 
 what is stated in Euclid, but will not believe what is stated 
 in the Bible, although backed by tradition !" The youth ac- 
 knowledged the justness of the logic, and said no more. 
 
 Legacy. — Dr. Harris, in all his wills, always renewed this 
 legacy : " Item, I bequeath to all my children, and to my 
 children's children, to each of them, a Bible, with this inscrip- 
 tion, ' None but Christ.' " A noble legacy, truly ! If parents 
 were to leave such a boon as this to all their children, with 
 an earnest request that they should constantly read and study 
 it, it might, under the Divine blessing, be the means of en- 
 riching them more than if they left them thousands of gold 
 and silver. 
 
 An Irish child who had attended a Sabbath school being 
 commanded by the priest a short time ago to burn his Bible, 
 reluctantly complied ; but at the same time said, " I thank 
 God that you can't take from me the twenty chapters that I 
 have in my mind." — English paper. 
 
 Lending the Bible. — A Bible was lent to a blacksmith 
 who was known to be a bad husband and father, and addict- 
 ed to drinking and other vices. It was recommended to him 
 as an interesting volume, and he was advised to read it at- 
 tentively during the long winter evenings. At first he treat- 
 ed it with contempt; but having spent an evening in reading 
 it, " It is not," said he, " after all, so bad a book as some say. 
 A man may learn from it how God created the world." For 
 several evenings he continued to read, and was so much in- 
 terested in the contents of the book that he absolutely for- 
 got to resort to his favourite haunts. At this time his wife 
 says of him, " I often observe that he is silent and lost in 
 
RELIGIOUS. 259 
 
 thougnt : he is now diligent at his work, speaks more mild- 
 ly and kindly than formerly, and does not get drunk /" 
 
 What is Truth ? — Father Fulgentio, the friend and bi- 
 ographer of the celebrated Paul Sarpi, both of them secret 
 friends of the progress of religious reformation, was once 
 preaching upon Pilate's question, " What is truth V He told 
 the audience that he had at last, after many searches, found 
 it out ; and holding forth a New Testament, said, " Here it 
 is, my friends ;" but added sorrowfully, as he returned it to his 
 pocket, " it is a sealed book." It has since been the glory 
 of the reformation to break the seal which priestly craft had 
 imposed upon it, and to lay its blessed treasures open to the 
 universal participation of mankind. 
 
 Translation of the Scriptures. — When Queen Eliz- 
 abeth opened the prisons at her coming to the crown, one 
 piously told her that there were yet some good men left in 
 the prison undelivered, and desired they might also partake 
 of her princely favour ; meaning the four Evangelists, and 
 Paul, who had been denied to walk abroad in the English 
 tongue when her sister Mary swayed the sceptre. To this 
 she answered, " They should be asked whether they were 
 willing to have their liberty ;" which soon after appearing, 
 they had, says an old divine, their jail delivery, and have ever 
 since had their liberty to speak to us in our own tongue at 
 the assemblies of our public worship ; yea, and to visit us 
 in our private houses also. 
 
 Our English translation of the Bible was made in the 
 time and by the appointment of James the First. Accord- 
 ing to Fuller, the number of translators amounted to forty 
 seven. Every one of the company was to translate the 
 whole parcel, and compare all together. These good and 
 learned men entered on their work in the spring of 1607, 
 and three years elapsed before the translation was finished. 
 
 Bugenhagius assisted Luther in the translation of the 
 Bible into German, and kept the day on which it was finished 
 annually a festival with his friends, calling it "The Feast of 
 the Translation of the Bible ;" and it certainly deserves a 
 red letter more than half the saints in the calendar. 
 
 Soon after Tindale's New Testament was published a 
 royal proclamation was issued to prohibit the buying and 
 reading such translation or translations. But this served to 
 increase the public curiosity, and to occasion a more careful 
 reading of what was deemed so obnoxious. One step taken 
 
260 ANECDOTES. 
 
 by the Bishop of London afforded some merriment to the 
 Protestants. His lordship thought that the best way to pre- 
 vent these English New Testaments from circulation would 
 be to buy up the whole impression, and therefore employed 
 a Mr. Packington, who secretly favoured the reformation, 
 then at Antwerp, for this purpose ; assuring him, at the same 
 time, that, cost what they would, he would have them, and 
 burn them at Paul's Cross. Upon this Packington applied 
 himself to Tindale (who was then at Antwerp), and upon 
 agreement the bishop had the books, Packington great 
 thanks, and Tindale all the money. This enabled Tindale 
 instantly to publish a new and more correct edition, so that 
 they came over thick and threefold into England, which oc- 
 casioned great rage in the disappointed bishop and his popish 
 friends. One Constantine being soon after apprehended by 
 Sir Thomas More, and being asked how Tindale and others 
 subsisted abroad, readily answered, " That it was the Bishop 
 of London who had been their chief supporter, for he be- 
 stowed a great deal of money upon them in the purchase of 
 New Testaments to burn them ; and that upon the cash 
 they had subsisted till the sale of the second edition was 
 received." 
 
 The following incident respecting the venerable Bede is 
 worthy of remembrance. One of the last things be did was 
 the translating of St. John's Gospel into English. When 
 death seized on him, one of his devout scholars, whom he 
 used as his secretary or amanuensis, said to him, " My be- 
 loved master, there yet remains one sentence unwritten." 
 " Write it, then, quickly," replied Bede ; and, summoning all 
 his spirits together (like the last blaze of a candle going 
 out), he indited it and expired. 
 
 The Bible its own Apologist. — A man in Upper Can- 
 ada, who was in the habit of taking an interest in the moral 
 improvement of his neighbourhood, one day inquired of a 
 poor Irishman by the name of Joe whether he could read 
 the Bible if he should give him one. " No," said Joe, " but 
 my wife can." " Well," replied the man, " I will give you 
 one on condition that your wife reads to you three chapters 
 a day when you are at home to hear them." Upon these 
 conditions Joe took the Bible, and the man heard no more 
 of it till about four weeks afterward, when Joe, having an 
 errand in the neighbourhood, brought with him a square 
 which he had stolen some time before, and giving it up to its 
 former owner, said, " There, that is yours. I have kept it 
 
RELIGIOUS. 261 
 
 some time, but can keep it no longer, because I have got a 
 Bible which tells me not to steal." The Word's influence, 
 thus begun, continued to increase, till now he is a member 
 of a Christian church, rejoicing in hope of the glory of God. 
 A book which thus exposes and counteracts the vicious 
 propensities of man, and reclaims him to a life of holiness, 
 furnishes the best kind of evidence of its Divine origin. No 
 system of mere human ethics has ever been found adequate 
 thus to reform the vicious. But the word of God has done 
 it in innumerable instances. Such facts afford encourage- 
 ment to aid in circulating the Bible. — Vermont Telegraph. 
 
 Anecdote of an Old Woman and a Shepherd's Boy. 
 — The late celebrated Robinson, of Cambridge, once said, 
 " We had in our congregation a poor aged widow, who could 
 neither read the Scriptures nor live without hearing them 
 read, so much instruction and pleasure did she derive from 
 the oracles of God. She lived in a lone place, and the 
 family where she lodged could not read ; but there was one 
 more cottage near, and in it a little boy, a shepherd's son, 
 who could read ; but he, full of play, was not fond of reading 
 the Bible. Necessity is the mother of invention. The 
 good old widow determined to rise one hour sooner in the 
 morning in order to spin one halfpenny more, to be expended 
 in hiring the shepherd's boy to read to her every evening a 
 chapter, to which he readily agreed. This little advantage 
 made her content in her cottage, and even say, ' The lines are 
 fallen unto me in pleasant places.' You little boys, learn to 
 read," added the preacher, " and read the Scriptures to com- 
 fort the old people about you." 
 
 This little anecdote teaches us the value of the Heaven- 
 inspired book to the happy subject of true piety; and also 
 proves that in the giddy years of boyism we may contribute 
 to the happiness of our fellow-creatures, and smooth the 
 rugged path of tottering age. 
 
 The Bible easily Understood. — There is no book 
 which may be more easily comprehended than the Bible. 
 It may be asked, Why do so many read it without deriving 
 any benefit ? The fault rests not with the Bible ; it is 
 wholly with the reader. 
 
 The written word is a pointed arrow aimed by God him- 
 self at the heart of man ; but the reason it is not felt, and 
 understood, and remembered, is because the natural man is 
 not willing to attain this knowledge : sufficient light is given 
 
262 ANECDOTES. 
 
 him, but he wilfully shuts his eyes. There is no veil cast 
 over the Bible, but Satan and himself have cast a veil over 
 his understanding ; and his heart is so filled with the vanities 
 of the world as to leave no room for the reception of heav- 
 enly things. Now it may be firmly asserted, that any per- 
 son regarding the Bible with reverence as the word of God, 
 and reading it with an humble and teachable disposition, 
 holding its contents as sacred truths, and sincerely desirous 
 to impress them on his mind, may without difficulty com- 
 prehend what he reads. 
 
 Can we doubt of God's assistance in this holy study? 
 Will not this knowledge, like all other, be progressive ? It 
 may at first be compared to the feeble glimmering of dawn, 
 which, though but one faint streak, is nevertheless a cer- 
 tain presage of the meridian sun. 
 
 Let any man shut this book altogether ; never enter a 
 church-door, where its truths and precepts are explained; 
 nor even into the company and conversation of those who 
 frame their lives by this book ; and I will tell him he is 
 hastening to the land of unalleviated sorrows. On the other 
 hand, let him read this book for edification to learn the way 
 to heaven ; let him carefully attend upon the preaching of 
 the gospel ; converse and hold sweet counsel with the ex- 
 cellent ones of the earth, and imitate their example ; and I 
 will tell him he is not far from the kingdom of heaven. 
 God never did and never will withhold his blessing and the 
 influences of the Spirit from those who diligently seek him. 
 — Irving. 
 
 Short Rules for the Study of the Bible. — Many 
 humble Christians need some plain directions as to the way 
 in which they should read the Scriptures. For the benefit 
 of such, the following rules are drawn up with the sincere 
 prayer that they may be blessed of God to the spiritual good 
 of such as may read them. 
 
 1. Read the Bible as the word of God. — Never forget, 
 when you have this sacred volume before you, that it is a 
 voice from heaven, a Divinely-inspired standard. Let its 
 precepts, and doctrines, and promises, and threatenings be 
 received by faith, with solemn awe as a Divine testimony. 
 Romans x., 17 ; Isaiah lxix., 2; Psalm cxix., 161 ; 1 Thes- 
 salonians ii., 13; John v., 9. 
 
 2. Ask the assistance of the Holy Ghost in all your read- 
 ing. — The author of the Bible can make it plain and render 
 it useful. No teacher, no learned exposition can avail so 
 
RELIGIOUS. 263 
 
 much. Psalm cxix., 18, 27, 99; 1 John ii., 27; John xiv., 
 26; vi., 45; xvi., 13; Isaiah liv., 13; 1 Corinthians ii., 10. 
 
 3. Mingle faith with the truth read. — Just so far as you 
 believe are you profited. Truth is the food of faith. By 
 the revelation of God faith is increased. Hebrews iv., 2, 
 xi., 6; 2 Thessalonians ii., 12 ; James i., 21. 
 
 4. Submit your understanding to the wisdom of the om- 
 niscient God. — Where you find mysteries, bow in humble 
 adoration. Where you find difficulties after study, pass on, 
 and ask light from above. 1 Corinthians i., 25 ; Psalm 
 xciv., 9, 10; Job xi., 7, 8. 
 
 5. Submit your will to the precepts of God. — Obey what 
 he commands. Practise what you learn. Turn all into 
 love. " Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth" (build- 
 eth up). 1 Corinthians xiii., 2; James i., 22. 
 
 6. Compare Scripture with Scripture. — Especially with 
 what goes before and after, in view of all the circumstances. 
 Many a difficult passage becomes easy upon comparing it 
 with like passages in other parts of Scripture. 1 Corin- 
 thians ii., 13. 
 
 7. Read the Bible daily. — It is as necessary to your soul 
 as food is to your body. Much of its profit depends on its 
 being received at stated times and in fair proportion. No 
 professor of religion can grow in grace who neglects this 
 rule. Deuteronomy vi., 6-9 , John v., 39 ; Acts xvii., 11. 
 
 8. Read the Bible in course. — At least have one daily 
 portion of time for this regular perusal of Scripture. Those 
 who read at random are sure to remain in ignorance of large 
 parts. Ezra vii. ; Proverbs xxx., 5; 2 Timothy iii., 16; 
 Revelations xxii., 19 ; Proverbs ii., 4. 
 
 9. Refer to the Bible frequently. — Do this to clear your 
 mind from doubts, or to comfort your mind from sorrow, 
 or to show you what is duty in times of perplexity. Psalm 
 cxix., 45, 155 ; Proverbs vi., 23. 
 
 10. Meditate on ivhat you read. — This is as needful to 
 the spirit as the digestion of food is to the body. If you 
 have carefully read a passage in the morning, you can turn 
 it over in your mind during your daily employments. And 
 what you read in the evening may be sweetly called to mind 
 while you lie wakeful on your bed. Psalm cxix., 48, 97, 
 148 ; Deuteronomy vi., 6-9 ; Psalm i., 2. 
 
 11. Commit some portion of Scripture to memory every 
 day. — The times when we most need the support of the 
 Scriptures is when we are shut out from our books ; as, for 
 instance, when we are travelling, or visiting, or lying on a 
 
264 ANECDOTES. 
 
 bed of sickness. Psalm cxix., 11; xl., 8; Proverbs iii. 
 3 ; Colossians iii., 16; Deuteronomy vi., 8, 9. 
 
 FAITHFUL MINISTERS. 
 
 Latimer. — Old Bishop Latimer, it is said, in a coarse 
 frieze gown, trudged afoot, his Testament hanging at one end 
 of his leathern girdle and his spectacles at the other, and, 
 without ceremony, instructed the people in rustic style from a 
 hollow tree ; while the courtly Ridley, in satin and fur, taught 
 the same principles in the cathedral of the metropolis. 
 
 j 
 Burnet. — It is said of Bishop Burnet that he was ex- 
 tremely laborious in his episcopal office. Every summer he 
 made a tour, for six weeks or two months, through some dis- 
 trict of his diocess, daily preaching, and confirming from 
 church to church ; so as in the compass of three years, be- 
 sides his triennial visitation, to go through all the principal 
 livings in his diocess. 
 
 It is a favourable circumstance when bishops are dis- 
 posed to countenance those clergyman who are determined 
 to be active and diligent in promoting the welfare of their 
 parishioners. Not long since, at a visitation in Ireland, the 
 name of Mr. Shaw, a* pious and useful clergyman, was men- 
 tioned. " What !" said a clergyman, " what ! mad Shaw /" 
 The bishop answered, " Sir, if Mr. Shaw is mad, I wish he 
 may bite all the clergy in my diocess." 
 
 Perseverance. — A pious minister, conceiving that all 
 his labours among the people of his charge were wholly in 
 vain, was so extremely grieved and dejected that he deter- 
 mined to leave his flock and to preach his farewell sermon ; 
 but he was suddenly struck with the words, Luke x., 6, 
 " And if the Son of peace be there, your peace shall rest 
 upon it ; if not, it shall turn to you again." He felt as if his 
 Lord and Master had addressed him thus : " Ungrateful ser- 
 vant, art thou not satisfied with my promise that my de- 
 spised peace shall return to you again ? Go on, then, to 
 proclaim peace." Which accordingly he did with renewed 
 vigour and zeal. 
 
 Mr. Hervey. — The late Mr. Hervey's method of instruct- 
 ing young people was such, that while it afforded profit to 
 them, it was a means of reproof to others- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 265 
 
 Some of his parishioners having lain in bed on a Sunday 
 morning longer than he approved, and others having been busy 
 in foddering their cattle when he was coming to church, and 
 several having frequented the alehouse, he thus catechised 
 one of the children before the congregation. " Repeat me 
 the fourth commandment. Now, little man, do you under- 
 stand the meaning of this commandment ?" " Yes, sir." 
 11 Then, if you do, you will be able to answer me these ques- 
 tions : Do those keep holy the Sabbath-day who lay in bed 
 till eight or nine o'clock in the morning, instead of rising to 
 say their prayers and read the Bible ?" " No, sir." " Do 
 those keep the Sabbath who fodder their cattle when other 
 people are going to church ?" " No, sir." " Does God Al- 
 mighty bless such people as go to alehouses, and don't 
 mind the instruction of their ministers ?" " No, sir." 
 " Don't those who love God read the Bible to their families, 
 particularly on Sunday evenings, and have prayers every 
 morning and night in their houses ?" " Yes, sir." A great 
 many such pertinent and familiar questions he would fre- 
 quently ask, in the most engaging manner, on every part of 
 the catechism, as he thought most conducive to the im- 
 provement and edification of his parish. 
 
 A Profitable Rebuke. — A godly minister of the gospel 
 occasionally visiting a gay person, was introduced to a room 
 near to that in which she dressed. After waiting some 
 hours, the lady came in and found him in tears. She in- 
 quired the reason of his weeping. He replied, " Madam, I 
 weep on reflecting that you spend so many hours before 
 your glass and in adorning your person, while I spend so 
 few hours before my God and in adorning my soul." The 
 rebuke struck her conscience. She lived and died a monu- 
 ment of grace. 
 
 A Contrast. — The day previous to the sitting of parlia- 
 ment, the Duke of Rothes died. When he saw his danger, 
 he sent for some of his lady's ministers ; for it seems that 
 his own ministers might do to live with, but not to die with. 
 Accordingly, Mr. John Carstairs and Mr. George Johnson 
 visited him, and used great freedom in speaking to him. 
 To whom he said, " We all thought little of what that good 
 did in excommunicating us, but I find that sentence binding 
 upon me now, and it will bind to all eternity." While Mr. 
 Johnson was praying with him, several noblemen and bish- 
 ops were in the next room ; one of them said to the bishops, 
 
 Ll 12 
 
266 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " That is a Presbyterian minister that is praying: the devil 
 a one of you could pray as they do, though your prayers 
 should keep a soul out of hell." Duke Hamilton answered, 
 " We banish these men from us, and yet, when we come to 
 die, we cannot do without them : this is melancholy work !" 
 
 Scorners Rebuked. — Whitfield being informed that 
 some lawyers had come to hear him by way of sport, took 
 for his text these words : " And there came a certain lawyer 
 to our Lord." Designedly he read, " And there came cer- 
 tain lawyers to our — I am wrong, ' a certain lawyer,' I was 
 almost certain that I was wrong. It is a wonder to see one 
 lawyer; but what a wonder if there had been more than 
 one !" The theme of the sermon corresponded with its 
 commencement ; and those who came to laugh went away 
 edified. 
 
 Sincerity. — La Bruyere is strong in his commendation 
 of Father Seraphin, an apostolical preacher. The first time, 
 he says, that he preached before Louis XIV., he said to this 
 monarch, " Sire, I am not ignorant of the custom according 
 to the prescription of which, I should pay you a compliment. 
 This I hope your majesty will dispense with ; for I have 
 been searching for a compliment in the Scriptures, and, un- 
 happily, I have not found one." 
 
 Contrast. — Carracciolo, a celebrated Italian preacher, 
 once exercised his talents before the pope on the luxury 
 and licentiousness which then prevailed at court. " Fy on 
 St. Peter! fy on St. Paul !" exclaimed he, "who, having it 
 in their power to live as voluptuously as the pope and the 
 cardinals, chose rather to mortify their lives with fasts, with 
 watchings, and labours." 
 
 Eternity. — It was a question asked of the brethren, 
 both in the classical and provincial meetings of ministers, 
 twice in the year, if they preached the duties of the times. 
 And when it was found that Mr. Leighton did not, he was 
 censured for this omission, but said, " If all the brethren 
 have preached to the times, may not one poor brother be 
 suffered to preach on eternity ?" 
 
 Encouragement to Preachers. — The late Rev. Mr. 
 Warrow, of Manchester, a little before his death, was com- 
 plaining to some of his people that he had not been the in- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 267 
 
 strument of calling one soul to the knowledge of the truth 
 for the last eight years of his ministry. He preached two 
 sermons after this before the Lord called him to himself; 
 and soon after his death between twenty and thirty persons 
 proposed themselves as church members who had been 
 called under Mr. W.'s last two sermons. Let not ministers 
 think their work is done while they can preach another ser- 
 mon or speak another word. 
 
 Mr. Magee, D.D. — A few years ago, when George IV. 
 visited Ireland, he remained some time in Dublin, its capital. 
 As it was expected that he would attend Divine service, an 
 eminent clergyman was appointed to preach before him. 
 When the time approached the clergyman fell sick, and it 
 became necessary to appoint another to perform that duty. 
 Dr. Magee, author of a work on the Atonement, being in 
 Dublin, was solicited to preach before his majesty. He ac- 
 cepted the invitation. The doctor was a warm, zealous 
 churchman, of enlightened views, and liberal, evangelical 
 sentiments. When the Sabbath came he read the prayers, 
 ascended the pulpit, and gave out the following text, Acts 
 xvi., 31 : " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt 
 be saved, and thy house." In this discourse he expatiated 
 on the necessity of repentance, faith, and holiness. The 
 command to believe, the object of faith (the Lord Jesus 
 Christ), the character of Him on whom we are called to be- 
 lieve, the importance of doing so for our own safety and as 
 an example to others, but particularly our own house ; with 
 the individual, local, and national advantages of religion, 
 were all eloquently and honestly presented to his majesty 
 and his court present on the occasion. After he had held 
 forth the doctrine of justification by faith, he powerfully in- 
 sisted on a change of heart, without which it was impossible 
 for any individual to arrive at heaven. His boldness and 
 earnestness surprised and alarmed the courtiers of his ma- 
 jesty, who had not been accustomed to such plain dealing. 
 All were looking for a reproof from the sovereign for the 
 boldness of the preacher ; but though his sermon was a sub- 
 ject of general conversation, his majesty alone retained a 
 total silence respecting it, never alluding to the circumstance 
 for several months. During this time the Archbishop of 
 Armagh, primate of Ireland, died, and the Right Reverend 
 Lord John Beresford, archbishop of Dublin, was appointed 
 to succeed him. The see of Dublin being in the gift of the 
 crown, a list of candidates were, nominated to his majesty. 
 
268 ANECDOTES. 
 
 for each of whom powerful interest was made. Dr. Magee, 
 not being a favourite on account of his religious sentiments, 
 was neglected. When his majesty proceeded to make the 
 appointment, he inquired the name of the faithful, able, and 
 eloquent preacher who had delivered a discourse before him 
 m Dublin. He was told it was Dr. Magee. " Then," said 
 he, " the man that fears not to preach the whole truth before 
 his king shall be honoured, and Dr. Magee shall be Arch- 
 bishop of Dublin." After saying this he took his pen and 
 filled the blank in the deed of gift with Dr. Magee. 
 
 President Davies. — " This great divine, originally a 
 poor boy of Hanover, Va., but for his extraordinary talents 
 and piety early advanced to the professorship of Princeton 
 College, crossed the Atlantic to solicit means of completing 
 that noble institution. His fame as a man of God had ar- 
 rived there long before him. He was, of course, speedily 
 invited up to the pulpit. From a soul at once blazing with 
 gospel light and burning with divine love, his style of 
 speaking was so strikingly superior to that of the cold ser- 
 mon-readers of the British metropolis, that the town was 
 presently running after him. There was no getting into the 
 churches where he was to preach. The coaches of the no- 
 bility stood in glittering ranks around the long-neglected 
 walls of Zion ; and even George the Third, with his royal 
 consort, borne away by the holy epidemic, became humble 
 hearers of the American orator. Blessed with a clear, glassy 
 voice, sweet as the notes of the harmonican, and loud as the 
 battle-kindling trumpet, he poured forth the pious ardour of 
 his soul with such force that the honest monarch could not 
 repress his emotions ; but starting from his seat with rolling 
 eyes and agitated manner, at every burning period he would 
 exclaim, loud enough to be heard half way over the church, 
 ' Fine ! fine ! fine, Charlotte ! why, Charlotte, this beats 
 our archbishop !' The people all stared at the king. The 
 man of God made a full stop ; and fixing his eyes upon him 
 as a tender parent would upon a giddy child, cried aloud, 
 1 When the lion roars, the beasts in the forest tremble ; and 
 when the Almighty speaks, let the kings of the earth keep 
 silence.' The monarch shrunk back into his seat, and be- 
 haved during the rest of the discourse with the most respect- 
 ful attention. The next day he sent for Dr. Davies, and, 
 after complimenting him highly as an 'honest preacher,' 
 ordered him a check of a hundred guineas for his college." 
 
RELIGIOUS. 269 
 
 Subjects for the Pulpit. — " The preacher of everlast- 
 ing truth has certainly the noblest subjects that ever eleva- 
 ted and enkindled the soul of man. Not the intrigues of a 
 Philip, not the plots of a Catiline, but the rebellion of an- 
 gels, the creation of a world, the incarnation and death of the 
 Son of God, the resurrection of man, the dissolution of na- 
 ture, the general judgment, and the final confirmation of 
 countless millions of men and angels in happiness or misery. 
 No subjects are so sublime, none are so interesting to the 
 feelings of a reflecting audience. No orator was himself 
 ever so deeply interested in his subject as a godly minister 
 is in the truths which he presses upon his hearers. If on 
 any topic he can become impassioned and be carried beyond 
 himself, it is on the theme of immortal love and the everlast- 
 ing destinies of men." 
 
 Experienced ministers sometimes describe the feelings and 
 situations of their hearers so exact, that while the serious 
 part are profited, the ignorant are astonished. It is related 
 of Mr. Richard Garrat that he used to walk to Petworth 
 every Monday. In one of these walks a country fellow, 
 who had been his hearer the day before, and had been cut 
 to the heart by something he had delivered, came up to him 
 with his scythe upon his shoulders, and in mighty rage told 
 him " he would be the death of him, for he was sure he was 
 a witch, he having told him the day before what no one in 
 the world knew of him but God and the devil, and, therefore, 
 he most certainly dealt with the devil." 
 
 The Humble Preacher the Most Useful. — A very 
 pious man being ordained minister in Fifeshire, some of his 
 people left hearing him and went to other churches in the 
 neighbourhood. He one day meeting some of them, asked 
 them whither they were going. They replied that they 
 were going to hear such a one of his brethren, as his own 
 sermons did not edify them so much. He said with great 
 heartiness, " Oh yes ; go always where your souls get most 
 edification ; and may God's blessing and mine go with you." 
 The people were so affected that they resolved rather to 
 trust their edification with the Lord than desert the ministry 
 of such a holy and humble man. His gift of prayer was 
 very excellent, though his sermons did not bear any marks 
 of strong intellect ; his success, however, in winning souls 
 to Christ and building them up in him was great. Some 
 of his brethren one day expressing their wonder how his 
 ministrations did so much good, while theirs did so little, an- 
 
270 ANECDOTES. 
 
 other made answer " that his brother, living under a deep 
 sense of his own weakness, by the force of fervent prayer 
 brings all that he says warm from the heart of God through 
 his own, so that it never cools till it reaches the hearts of his 
 hearers ; whereas we, being conscious of our abilities, de- 
 pend on them in composing our sermons : and hence the 
 Lord gives so little countenance to them." 
 
 Examples of Diligence. — When the zealous and truly 
 apostolic preacher, Mr. Grimshaw, who usually preached 
 from twenty to thirty times a week, was entreated any time 
 to spare himself, his constant reply was, " Let me labour 
 now, for the hour is at hand when I shall rest." Karamsin, 
 the Russian traveller, having seen Lavater's diligence in 
 study, visiting the sick, and relieving the poor, greatly sur- 
 prised at his fortitude and activity, said to him, " Whence 
 have you so much strength of mind and power of endu- 
 rance ?" " My friend," replied he, " man rarely wants the 
 power to work when he possesses the will : the more I la- 
 bour in the discharge of my duties, so much the more abil- 
 ity and inclination to labour do I constantly find within my- 
 self." The late John Brown, of Haddington, addressed this 
 exhortation to his sons in the ministry with his dying breath : 
 " Oh, labour ; labour to win souls to Christ ! I will say this 
 for your encouragement, that whenever the Lord has led me 
 out to be most diligent this way, he hath poured out com- 
 fort into my heart, and given me my reward in my bosom." 
 But one great example is He whose life as well as lips said 
 to all his disciples, "Work while it is day, for the night 
 cometh when no man can work." 
 
 A Diligent Preacher. — " Now I will ask you a strange 
 question. Who is the most diligent bishop or prelate in all 
 England, that surpasseth all the rest in doing office ? I can 
 tell you, for I know who it is ; I know him very well. But 
 now I think I see you listening and hearkening that I should 
 name him. Then it is one that passeth all the others, and 
 is the most diligent prelate and preacher in all England ; 
 and will you know what it is ? I will tell you ; it is the 
 devil ! He is the most diligent preacher and prelate of all 
 others ; he is never out of his diocess ; he is never from his 
 cure ; he is ever in his parish ; there was never such a preach- 
 er in England as he. In the mean time the prelates take 
 heir pleasure ; they are lords and no labourers ; therefore, 
 preaching prelates, learn of the devil, if you will not 
 
RELIGIOUS. 271 
 
 learn of God and good men ; learn of the devil, I say." — 
 Bishop Latimer. 
 
 Mr. Pope. — The Rev. Mr. Pope, whose efforts in ad- 
 vancing the cause of Christ in Ireland have been attended 
 with astonishing success, was one evening preaching to a 
 solemn and attentive audience, when a party of Catholics 
 advanced with the intention of making a hostile attack. As 
 they arrived Mr. Pope paused ; his friends immediately ex- 
 tinguished all the lights, and called out, with the true Irish 
 spirit, " Proceed, Mr. Pope, proceed. Only preach to us 
 Jesus Christ, and not a hair of your head shall be touched." 
 This account I had from a gentleman in Quebec. 
 
 Short Allowance. — It is said that the celebrated Whit- 
 field, when advanced in life, finding his physical powers fail- 
 ing him, undertook to put himself upon what he called " short 
 allowance." He preached once only on every day in the 
 week, and three times on the Sabbath ! 
 
 Whitefield. — The late Mr. Whitefield, in a sermon he 
 preached at Haworth (for Mr. Grimshaw), having spoken 
 severely of those professors of the gospel who, by their 
 loose and evil conduct, caused the ways of truth to be evil 
 spoken of, intimated his hope that it was not necessary to 
 enlarge much upon that topic to the congregation before 
 him, who had so long enjoyed the benefit of an able and 
 faithful preacher, and he was willing to believe that their 
 profiting appeared to all men. This roused Mr. Grimshaw's 
 spirit, and notwithstanding the great regard he had for the 
 preacher, he stood up and interrupted him, saying, with aloud 
 voice, " Oh, sir ! for God's sake do not speak so ; I pray 
 you, do not flatter them : I fear the greater part of them are 
 going to hell with their eyes open." 
 
 Newyear's Present. — It was the custom in the reign 
 of Henry VIII. for each of the bishops to make presents to 
 the king on Newyear's Day. Bishop Latimer went with 
 the rest of his brethren to make the usual offering ; but, in- 
 stead of a purse of gold, he presented the king with a New 
 Testament, in which was a leaf doubled down to this pas- 
 sage : "Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." 
 
 Dr. Mather. — In the first year of Dr. Cotton Mather's 
 ministry he had reason to believe he was made the instru- 
 
272 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ment of converting at least thirty souls. It was constantly 
 one of his first thoughts in a morning, " What good may I 
 do to-day ?" He resolved this general question into many 
 general particulars. His question for the Lord's-day morn- 
 ing constantly was, " What shall I do, as the pastor of a 
 church, for the good of the flock under my charge ?" His 
 question for Monday morning was, " What shall I do for the 
 good of my own family ?" in which he considered himself a 
 husband, a father, and a master. For Tuesday morning, 
 " What good shall I do for relations abroad ?" Sometimes 
 he changed his meditations for another : " What good shall 
 I do to my enemies ?" for it was his laudable ambition to 
 be able to say he did not know of any person in the world 
 who had done him any ill office but he had done him a good 
 one for it. His question for Wednesday morning was, 
 " What shall I do for the churches of the Lord, and the 
 more general interests of religion in the world?" His 
 question for Thursday morning was, " What good may I do 
 to the several societies to which I am related 2" The ques- 
 tion for Friday morning was, " What special objects of com- 
 passion and subjects of affliction may I take under my par- 
 ticular care, and what shall I do for them ?" And his Sat- 
 urday morning question, relating more immediately to him- 
 self, was, " What more have I to do for the interest of God 
 in my own heart and life ?" 
 
 UNFAITHFUL MINISTERS. 
 
 Call to Preach. — Mr. C , of S — n, being in com- 
 pany once with a neighbouring minister who had an invita- 
 tion to go from the country to a church in London, and the 
 conversation turning upon that subject, his neighbour said to 
 
 him, " Brother C , I see my call exceeding clear to 
 
 leave B and go to London." Mr. C replied, " Ah, 
 
 brother, London is a fine place ; and as it is to go there, you 
 can hear very quick ; but if God had called you to go to 
 poor Cranfield, he might have called long enough, I fear, be- 
 fore vou would have heard him." 
 
 The Negligent Minister Reproved — A certain minis- 
 ter, who was more busied in the pleasures of the chase than 
 in superintending the souls of his flock, one day meeting 
 with little sport, proposed to entertain his companions at the 
 
RELIGIOUS. 273 
 
 expense of an inoffensive Quaker, whom he had often very 
 rudely ridiculed, and who was then approaching them. Im- 
 mediately he rode up briskly to him, saying, " Obadiah, 
 have you seen the hare ?" " Why, neighbour, hast thou 
 lost him ?" said the Quaker. " Lost him ! yes, indeed !" 
 " Then," replied he, " if I were the hare, I would run where 
 I am sure thou couldst never find me." " Where the d — 1 
 is that ?" said the blustering son of Nimrod. " Why, neigh 
 bour," replied the other, " I would run into thy study." 
 
 PREACHING. 
 
 " The history of the pulpit," says one, " is curious and en 
 tertaining. It has spoken all languages, and in all sorts oi 
 style. It has partaken of all the customs of the schools, the 
 theatres, and the courts of all the countries where it has 
 been erected. It has been a seat of wisdom and a sink of 
 nonsense. It has been filled by the best and the worst of 
 men. It has proved in some hands a trumpet of sedition, 
 and in others a source of peace and consolation ; but on a 
 fair balance, collected from authentic history, there would 
 appear no proportion between the benefits and the mischiefs 
 which mankind have derived from it ; so much do the ad- 
 vantages of it preponderate ! In a word, evangelical preach- 
 ing has been, and yet continues to be, reputed foolishness ; 
 but it is real wisdom, a wisdom and a power by which it 
 pleaseth God to save the souls of men." 
 
 The judicious Bishop Burnet prescribed a way to stop the 
 progress of the Puritan ministers, when complained against 
 by some of the clergy for breaking into and preaching into 
 their parochial charges. " Outlive, outlabour, outpreach 
 them," said his lordship. 
 
 Dr. Manton. — Dr. Manton, having to preach before the 
 lord-mayor, the court of aldermen, &c, at St. Paul's, the 
 doctor chose a subject in which he had an opportunity of 
 displaying his judgment and learning. He was heard with 
 admiration and applause by the more intelligent part of the 
 audience. But as he was returning from dinner with the 
 lord-mayor in the evening, a poor man following him, pulled 
 him by the sleeve of his gown, and asked him if he were 
 the gentleman that preached before the lord-mayor. He re- 
 plied, " He was." " Sir," says he, " I came with hopes of 
 
 M M 
 
274 ANECDOTES. 
 
 getting some good for my soul, but I was greatly disappoint- 
 ed, for I could not understand a great deal of what you said ; 
 you were quite above me." " Friend, if I did not give you 
 a sermon, you have given me one ; and, by the grace of God, 
 I will never play the fool to preach before my lord-mayor in 
 such a manner again." 
 
 Elegant Compliment. — Dr. Balguy, a preacher of great 
 celebrity, after having delivered an excellent sermon at Win- 
 chester Cathedral, the text of which was, " All wisdom is 
 sorrow," received the following extempore, but elegant, com- 
 pliment from Dr. Watson, then at Winchester School : 
 
 " If what you advance, dear doctor, be true, 
 That wisdom is sorrow, how wretched are you." 
 
 A Long Sermon. — A preacher, who had divided his ser- 
 mon into numerous divisions and subdivisions, quite exhaust- 
 ed the patience of his auditors, who, finding night approach- 
 ing, left the church one after another. The preacher, not 
 perceiving this rapid desertion, continued to dispute with 
 himself in the pulpit, until a singing-boy, who remained, said, 
 " Sir, here are the keys of the church ; when you have fin- 
 ished, will you be careful to shut the door ?" 
 
 A Hit at Metaphysics. — Dr. Stebbing, of Gray's Inn, 
 speaking in one of his sermons of Hume and some other 
 metaphysical writers, said sarcastically, " Our thoughts are 
 naturally carried back, on this occasion, to the author of the 
 first philosophy, who likewise engaged to open the eyes of 
 the public. He did so ; but the only discovery they found 
 themselves able to make was, that they were naked." 
 
 South. — The celebrated Dr. South, one of the chaplains 
 of Charles the Second, preaching on a certain day before 
 court, which was composed of the most profligate and dissi- 
 pated men in the nation, perceived in the middle of his dis- 
 course that sleep had gradually taken possession of his hear- 
 ers. The doctor immediately stopped short, and, changing 
 his tone of voice, called out to Lord Lauderdale three times. 
 His lordship standing up, " My lord," said South, with great 
 composure, " I am sorry to interrupt your repose, but I must 
 beg of you that you will not snore quite so loud, lest you 
 awaken his majesty." 
 
 On another occasion, when preaching before the king, he 
 chose for his text these words, " The lot is cast into the lap, 
 
RELIGIOUS. 275 
 
 but the disposing of it is of the Lord." In this sermon he 
 introduced three remarkable instances of unexpected ad- 
 vancement, those of Agathocles, Masaniello, and Oliver 
 Cromwell. Of the latter he said, " And who that beheld 
 such a bankrupt, beggarly fellow as Cromwell first entering 
 the Parliament House, with a threadbare torn cloak, greasy 
 hat (perhaps neither of them paid for), could have suspected 
 that, in the space of so few years, he should, by the murder 
 of one king and the banishment of another, ascend the 
 throne ?" At this the king is said to have fallen into a vio- 
 lent fit of laughter ; and turning to Dr. South's patron, Mr. 
 Lawrence Hyde, afterward created Lord Rochester, said, 
 " Odds fish, Lory, your chaplain must be a bishop ; therefore 
 put me in mind of him at the next death." 
 
 His wit was certainly the least of his recommendations ; 
 he indulged in it to an excess which often violated the sanc- 
 tity of the pulpit. When Sherlock accused him of employ- 
 ing wit in a controversy on the Trinity, South made but a 
 sorry reply : " Had it pleased God to have made you a wit, 
 what would you have done ?" 
 
 Dean Swift. — The eccentric Dean Swift, in the course 
 of one of those journeys to Holyhead which it is well known 
 he several times performed " on foot," was travelling through 
 Church Stretton, Shropshire, when he put up at the sign of 
 the Crown, and finding the host to be a communicative, good- 
 humoured man, inquired if there was any agreeable person in 
 town with whom he might partake of a dinner (as he had 
 desired him to provide one), and that such a person should 
 have nothing to pay. The landlord immediately replied 
 that the curate, Mr. Jones, was a very agreeable, compan- 
 ionable man, and would not, he supposed, have any objection 
 to spend a few hours with a gentleman of his appearance. 
 The dean directed him to wait on Mr. Jones with his com- 
 pliments, and say that a traveller would be glad to be favour- 
 ed with his company at the Crown, if it was agreeable. 
 When Mr. Jones and the dean had dined, and the glass 
 began to circulate, the former made an apology for an occa- 
 sional absence, saying that at three o'clock he was to read 
 prayers and preach at the church. Upon this intimation the 
 dean replied that he also should attend prayers. Service 
 being ended, and the two gentlemen having resumed their 
 station at the Crown, the dean began to compliment Mr. 
 Jones on his delivery of a very appropriate sermon ; and re- 
 marked that it must have cost him (Mr. Jones) some time 
 and attention to compose such a one. 
 
276 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Mr. Jones observed that his duty was rather " laborious," 
 as he served another parish church at a distance ; which, 
 with the Sunday and weekly service at Church Stratton, 
 straitened him very much with respect to the time necessary 
 for the composition of sermons ; so that, when the subjects 
 pressed, he could only devote a few days and nights to that 
 purpose. 
 
 " Well," says the dean, " it is well for you to have such 
 a talent ; for my part, the very sermon you preached this af- 
 ternoon cost me some months in composing." On this ob- 
 servation Mr. Jones began to look very gloomy, and to rec- 
 ognise his companion. " However," rejoined the dean, 
 " don't you be alarmed ; you have so good a talent at deliv- 
 ery, that I hereby declare you have done more honour to my 
 sermon this day than I could do myself; and, by way of com- 
 promising the matter, you must accept of this half-guinea 
 for the justice you have done in the delivery of it." 
 
 Reading Sermons. — The following is not a bad portrait 
 of one who entirely confines himself to his notes. " He lays 
 open his performance at large in the face of the whole as- 
 sembly, like a boy at school ; he reads and blunders, and 
 •blunders and reads ; he stands in the pulpit like a speaking 
 statue, without life or motion ; his eyes are fixed down to the 
 space of a few square inches as if he stared at a ghost ; he 
 hangs his head over his scroll as if he were receiving sen- 
 tence of death. If the poor drudge could look around him, 
 he would see half of his audience dozing over his dull repe- 
 tition ; not a soul affected, unless, perhaps, an old beggar 
 gives a groan from a dark corner when he hears the sound. 
 An honest countryman, happening to hear one of these 
 paper geniuses preach, was asked by his wife when he went 
 home how he liked the preacher. ' Alas P said he, ' he 
 was as poor a preacher as ever I saw, woman : he was just 
 like a crow picking the corn ; for he always put down his 
 head for a pick, and then looked about to see if any person 
 was coming near him.'" 
 
 The Reformer and the Quaker. — A country clergy- 
 man was boasting in a large company of the success he had 
 met with in reforming his parishioners, on whom his labours, 
 he said, had produced a wonderful change for the better. 
 Being asked in what respect, he replied that, when he came- 
 first among them, they were a set of unmannerly clowns, 
 who paid him no more deference than they did to one an 
 
RELIGIOUS. 277 
 
 other ; did not so much as pull off their hat when they spoke 
 to him, but bawled out as roughly and familiarly as though 
 he was their equal ; whereas now they never presumed to 
 address him but cap in hand and in a submissive voice, 
 made him the best bow when they were at ten yards' dis- 
 tance, and styled him your reverence at every word. A 
 Quaker, who had heard the whole patiently, made answer, 
 "And so, friend, the upshot of this reformation, of which thou 
 hast so much carnal glorying, is, that thou hast taught thy 
 people to worship thyself." 
 
 Hamilton. — When Hamilton was about to be made 
 Bishop of Galloway, one objecting to him that it went 
 against his conscience (for he had sworn to the covenant), 
 he said, " Such medicine as could not be chewed must be 
 swallowed whole." Fine sentiment for a bishop, truly ! ! ! 
 
 Pungent Preaching. — An old man, being asked his 
 opinion of a certain sermon, replied, " I liked it very well, 
 except that there was no pinch to it. I always like to have 
 a pinch to every sermon." I was reminded of this anecdote 
 by the remark of a son of Neptune from Nantucket, whom 
 I met in the gallery of a crowded church last Sabbath even 
 ing. He said it was a handsome sermon, " but he would 
 have liked it better if it had struck the harpoon into the 
 conscience of the sinner." 
 
 In the reign of Edward VI. most of the priests in Scot- 
 land imagined the New Testament to be a Composition of 
 Luther's, and asserted that the Old alone was the word of 
 God. 
 
 Comment on Galatians iv., 18. — Mr. Betterton being 
 one day at dinner at his grace's the Archbishop of Canter- 
 bury, his grace expressed his astonishment that the repre- 
 sentation of fables in their pieces should make more impres- 
 sion upon the mind than that of truth in the sermons of the 
 clergy : upon which Mr. Betterton, desiring leave to explain 
 the reason of it, and obtaining it on condition of preserving 
 the respect due to religion, said, " May it please your grace, 
 it is because the clergy, in reading their sermons, pronounce 
 them as if they were reading fables ; and we, in acting our 
 parts and using them in a proper gesture, represent them 
 like matters of fact." There is, undoubtedly, a considerable 
 degree of weight in Mr. Betterton's observation ; the wanl 
 
278 ANECDOTES 
 
 of life, earnestness, and energy in the clergy, prevents their 
 being attended to in the manner which could be wished, and 
 greatly lessens the effect of the discourses. 
 
 Anecdotes of those who Read their Sermons. — Mr 
 
 Heard having heard Dr. M preach, the doctor afterward 
 
 asked him how he liked his sermon. " Like it !" said Mr. 
 Heard. " Why, sir, I have liked it and admired it these 
 twenty years." The doctor stared. "Upon that shelf,' 
 added Mr. Heard, " you will find it verbatim. Mr. Boehm 
 was an excellent preacher !" Mr. Heard was a bookseller, 
 and booksellers are sometimes dangerous hearers, when a 
 preacher deals in borrowed sermons. 
 
 Three several clergymen, on three successive Sundays, 
 delivered the very same discourse, on " Fall not out by the 
 way," in the same church and to the same congregation, not 
 far from one of our universities. 
 
 A late minister of read a discourse in his church, 
 
 intended to excite his congregation to gratitude for an interval 
 of fine weather, while at the very interval of reading it the 
 rain descended in torrents from the bursting clouds, with a 
 violence sufficient to show the folly of being tied to notes. 
 
 They who read sermons composed by others are very 
 often led into mistakes. A German divine says, " One of 
 these retailers of small ware, having picked up a homily 
 composed some years before, when the plague was raging in 
 the country, preached it to his congregation on the Lord's 
 day. Towards the close, having sharply reproved vice, he 
 added, l for these vices it is that God has visited you and your 
 families with that cruel scourge the plague, which is now 
 spreading everywhere in this town.' At uttering these 
 words, the people were all so thunderstruck, that the chief 
 magistrate was obliged to go to the pulpit and to ask him, 
 1 For God's sake, sir, pardon the interruption, and inform 
 me where the plague is, that I may instantly endeavour to 
 prevent its farther spreading /' ' The plague, sir /' replied 
 the preacher : ' I know nothing about the plague. Whether 
 it is in the town or not, it is in my homily.' " 
 
 Dr. Guise. — It is related of Dr. Guise that he lost his 
 eyesight while he was in prayer before sermon. Having 
 finished prayer, he was consequently forced to preach with- 
 out notes. As he was led out of the meeting after service 
 was over, he could not help lamenting his sudden and total 
 blindness. A good old gentlewoman, who heard him de- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 279 
 
 plore his loss, answered him, " God be praised that yom 
 sight is gone : I never heard you preach so powerful a ser- 
 mon in my life. Now we shall have no more notes : I wish, 
 for my own part, that the Lord had taken away your eyesight 
 twenty years ago, for your ministry would have been more 
 useful by twenty degrees." Whatever may be said in fa- 
 vour of notes, the old gentlewoman, however, formed a 
 strong argument against them from her feelings. 
 
 Who's to Blame ? — A minister not far from London 
 one day went to his place of worship, and happened, by neg- 
 lect, to leave his notes on his closet table. A servant, who 
 did not affect his master's reading method, fumbled them 
 among some rubbish in the corner of the room, and went 
 his way. The minister, missing his sermon, whispered the 
 pew-opener to fetch it while he was praying ; the man went, 
 and searched for a full hour, but could not find it. The min- 
 ister prayed all the time, with the avocation of some long- 
 ing glances at the door for the pew-opener : when he prayed 
 himself out of breath, and the people out of patience, he sat 
 down wearied. At length the man appeared, but no ser- 
 mon.; after some minutes' painful reflection, he rose up, and 
 plainly told the congregation that the sermon was lost, and, 
 therefore, they were to have none that day ; but withal prom- 
 ised, if the sermon should be found, that he would cause 
 it to be printed for their instruction, and never preach by 
 notes again. 
 
 A curious Proof of Conversion. — About the time of 
 the conclusion of the peace of Reswick, the noted Theronet 
 died at Montreal. The French gave hkn Christian burial in 
 a pompous manner, the popish priest who attended him 
 in his sickness having pronounced the poor Indian to have 
 been a true Christian ; " for," said he, " while I explained to 
 him the passion of our Saviour whom the Jews crucified, he 
 cried out, ' Oh ! had I been there, I would have revenged 
 his death, and brought away their scalps !' " — (Colbiri's Hist, 
 of the Five Nations, vol. i., p. 207.) 
 
 The Pious Farmers. The Farmer's Faith better than 
 the Prelate's Disquisitions. — The late King of Sweden was, 
 it seems, under serious impressions for some time before his 
 death. A peasant being once, on a particular occasion, ad- 
 mitted to his presence, the king, knowing him to be a person 
 of singular piety, asked him " what he took to be the true 
 
280 ANECDOTES. 
 
 nature of faith." The peasant entered deeply into the sub- 
 ject, and much to the king's comfort and satisfaction. The 
 king at last, lying on his deathbed, had a return of his 
 doubts and fears as to the safety of his soul ; and still the 
 same question was perpetually in his mouth to those about 
 him, " What is real faith ?" His attendants advised him to 
 send for the Archbishop of Upsal ; who, coming to the king's 
 bedside, began, in a learned, logical manner, to enter into the 
 scholastic definition of faith. The prelate's disquisition 
 lasted an hour. When he had done the king said, with much 
 energy, "All this is ingenious, but not comfortable; it is 
 not what I want ; nothing, after all, but the farmer 's faith 
 will do for me." So true is that observation that religion is 
 a plain thing; and, indeed, it wants no metaphysical subtil- 
 ties, no critical disquisitions, no logical deductions. 
 
 Preferment. — It has been observed that nothing could 
 form a more curious collection of memoirs than anecdotes 
 of preferment. Could the secret history of great men be 
 traced, it would appear that merit is rarely the first step to 
 advancement. It would much oftener be found to be owing 
 to superficial qualifications, and even vices. Sir Christo- 
 pher Hatton owed his preferment to his dancing. Queen 
 Elizabeth, with all her sagacity, could not see the future 
 lord-chancellor in the fine dancer. 
 
 What will not some do for the sake of preferment, and that 
 even when they are already well provided for ? The shame- 
 ful impropriety of pluralities is never thought of; conscience 
 is sacrificed to interest; the value of money, and not of 
 souls, becomes the prime object in view. What would the 
 primitive Christians have said of a modern divine, who is 
 
 said to be the curate of , supposed to be annually worth 
 
 five thousand pounds ? He is a subalmoner to , rector 
 
 of , prebendary of , prebendary of , preben- 
 dary of , archdeacon of , and dean of . 
 
 The late Bishop L was possessed, at the time of his 
 
 decease, of ten or more different preferments. He was 
 bishop, head of a college, prebend, rector, librarian, &c, 
 &c.,&c. 
 
 The Ignorant Priest. — The following anecdote will 
 afford us a striking instance of the ignorance that existed 
 before the reformation ; at the same time it confirms the 
 relation generally given of Archbishop Cranmer's forgiving 
 spirit. 
 
RELIGIOUS. 281 
 
 The archbishop's first wife, whom he married at Cam- 
 bridge, lived at the Dolphin Inn, and he often resorting thith- 
 er on that account, the popish party had raised a story that 
 he was hostler of that inn, and never had the benefit of a 
 learned education. This idle story a Yorkshire priest had 
 with great confidence asserted in an alehouse which he used 
 to frequent, railing at the archbishop, and saying that he had 
 no more learning than a goose. Some of the parish, who 
 had a respect for Cranmer's character, informed Lord Crom- 
 well of this, who immediately sent for the priest and com- 
 mitted him to the Fleet Prison. When he had been there 
 nine or ten weeks, he sent a relation of his to the archbishop to 
 beg his pardon and humbly sue to him for a discharge. The 
 archbishop instantly sent for him, and, after a gentle reproof, 
 asked the priest whether he knew him ; to which he an- 
 swered, No. The archbishop expostulated with him why 
 he should then make so free with his character. The priest 
 excused himself by his being in drink. But this, Cranmer 
 told him, was a double fault, and then let him know that if 
 he had a mind to try what a scholar he was, he should have 
 liberty to oppose him in whatever science he pleased. The 
 priest humbly asked his pardon, and confessed himself to be 
 very ignorant, and to understand nothing but his mother 
 tongue. " No doubt," said Cranmer, "you are well versed 
 in the English Bible, and can answer any question out of 
 that. Pray tell me who was David's father ?" The priest 
 stood still a while to consider, but at last told the archbishop 
 he could not recollect his name. " Tell me, then," said 
 Cranmer, " who was Solomon's father ?" The poor priest 
 replied that he had no skill in genealogies, and could not tell. 
 The archbishop then advised him to frequent the alehouse 
 less and his study more ; and admonished him not to ac- 
 cuse others for want of learning till he was master of some 
 himself; discharged him out of custody, and sent him home 
 to his cure. 
 
 A Popular Preacher. — A reverend doctor in the me- 
 tropolis was what is usually denominated a popular preacher. 
 His reputation, however, had not been acquired by his draw- 
 ing largely on his own stores of knowledge and eloquence, 
 but by the skill with which he appropriated the thoughts 
 and language of the great divines who had gone before him. 
 Those who compose a fashionable audience are not deeply 
 read in pulpit lore ; and, accordingly, with such hearers he 
 passed for a wonder of erudition and pathos. It did never- 
 
 Nn 
 
282 ANECDOTES. 
 
 theless happen that the doctor was once detected in his lar- 
 cenies. One Sunday, as he was beginning to delight the 
 belles of his quarter of the metropolis, a grave old gentleman 
 seated himself close to the pulpit, and listened with profound 
 attention. The doctor had scarcely finished his third sen- 
 tence before the old gentleman muttered loud enough to be 
 heard by those near, " That's Sherlock !" The doctor 
 frowned, but went on. He had not proceeded much farther, 
 when his tormenting interrupter broke out with, " That's 
 Tillotson !" The doctor bit his lips and paused, but again 
 thought it better to pursue the thread of his discourse. A 
 third exclamation of " That's Blair !" was, however, too 
 much, and completely deprived him of patience. Leaning 
 over the pulpit, " Fellow," he cried, " if you do not hold 
 your tongue you shall be turned out." Without altering a 
 muscle of his countenance, the grave old gentleman lifted 
 up his head, and, looking the doctor in the face, retorted, 
 " That's his own /"• 
 
 Dr. Rush. — The doctor once informed me that, when he 
 was a young man, he had been invited on some occasion to 
 dine in company with Robert Morris, Esq., a man celebrated 
 for the part he took in the American revolution. It so hap- 
 pened that the company had waited some time for Mr. Mor- 
 ris, who, on his appearance, apologized for detaining them 
 by saying that he had been engaged in reading a sermon of 
 a clergyman who had just gone to England to receive orders. 
 " Well, Mr. Morris,''' said the doctor, " how did you like the 
 sermon? I have heard it highly extolled." " Why, doc- 
 tor," said he, "1 did not like it at all. It is too smooth and 
 tame for me." " Mr. Morris," replied the doctor, "what 
 sort of a sermon do you like ?" " I like, sir," replied Mr. 
 Morris, " that preaching which drives a man up into the 
 corner of his pew, and makes him think the devil is after 
 him." 
 
 Dilemma. — A preacher who had but one sermon, which 
 he delivered on the Sunday, being praised by the lord of the 
 place, was called upon to preach on the next day, which 
 was a fast day. The preacher ruminated the whole night 
 on what he was to do to rescue himself from the predica- 
 ment in which he was placed. The dreaded hour arrived, 
 when he mounted the pulpit, and with great solemnity said, 
 " Brethren, some persons have accused me of advancing prop- 
 ositions to you yesterday contrary to the faith, and of hav- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 283 
 
 ing misrepresented many passages of Scripture. Now, to 
 convince you how much I have been wronged, and to make 
 known to you the purity of my doctrine, I shall repeat my 
 sermon, so pray be attentive." 
 
 A Beautiful Simile. — We heard a minister in the pulpit 
 a short time ago relate the following historical fact, and ap- 
 ply it to Christian duty. There is an electric force, an 
 unction arising from its contemplation, that ought to arouse, 
 elevate, and quicken the feelings of every Christian in con- 
 templating the beauties of the parable. 
 
 The minister remarked, that historians said that the eagle, 
 when the clouds blackened and lowered, and the winds and 
 storms arose to a fearful extent, would weigh with instinct- 
 ive precision its ability to withstand its force without injury. 
 If the storm bid fair to rage with too great violence, the 
 eagle would flap his broad wings and soar above it, and 
 from his proud altitude would look down with serenity and 
 composure on the devastation below. 
 
 The application to Christians was to persuade them to 
 imitate the noble eagle. When bickerings and strife arose 
 in the church or in society ; when the storms of religious 
 discord were rising higher, and higher, and higher, and the 
 wrath of God was thundering in his Providence into the ears 
 of his provocators, then they should, on the pinions of their 
 faith, rise above the world. This needs no comment. 
 Oh that Christians would learn to emulate the eagle, and 
 proudly, through the influence of the Divine Spirit, " trample 
 the world beneath their feet." — Maryville Intelligencer. 
 
 Rev. Mr. Sewell. — This popular preacher was address- 
 ing a very crowded audience, consisting of strangers as well 
 as members of his own congregation, on Sunday evening 
 last, in Cumberland church. He was commenting with his 
 usual perspicuity and force upon the danger of evil commu- 
 nication, and exhorted those to whom the voice and the pre- 
 cepts of the gospel were yet precious, to abandon the society 
 of the unprincipled and irreligious, to form no ties of asso- 
 ciation, no copartnership in business, nor unions with them. 
 
 It would appear that the reverend gentleman's discourse 
 was not, perhaps, entirely palatable to a portion of his audi- 
 tory ; for, while thus engaged, a stir was heard in the church 
 like the sound of many persons leaving it. It attracted his 
 attention. He paused. His manner, which is usually warm, 
 impressive, and eloquent, became on the instant changed; 
 
284 ANECDOTES. 
 
 pointing significantly towards the doors, and then turning to 
 the congregation, he remarked, with great calmness and so- 
 lemnity, " My Christian friends ! we have given offence, 
 and, of course, are sorry for it. Those persons who have 
 disturbed the church have departed. Let them go ! it is the 
 fresh breeze of the gospel winnowing the human grain, and 
 mark ! how it separates the chaff from the wheat !" — 
 Charleston Patriot. 
 
 Whitfield — The Rev. George Whitfield, a clergyman 
 of the Church of England, first arrived in this country in the 
 year 1738. He landed in Savannah, Georgia, and laid the 
 foundation of an orphan-house a few miles from Savannah, 
 and afterward finished it at great expense. He returned to 
 England the same year. On the following year he returned 
 again to America, and landed at Philadelphia, and began to 
 preach in different churches. In this and in his subsequent 
 visits to America he visited most of the principal places in 
 the colonies. Immense numbers of people flocked to hear 
 him wherever he preached. 
 
 The following anecdote respecting his manner of preaching 
 will serve to illustrate this part of his character. One day, 
 while preaching from the balcony of the courthouse in Phila- 
 delphia, he cried out, " Father Abraham, who have you got in 
 heaven ; any Episcopalians ?" " No !" " Any Presbyteri- 
 ans r "No!" " Any Baptists ?" "No." "Have you any 
 Methodists there ?" " No !" " Have you any Independents 
 or Seceders ?" " No ! No !" " Why, who have you, then ?" 
 " We don't know those names here ; all that are here are 
 Christians ; believers in Christ; men who have overcome 
 by the blood of the Lamb and the word of his testimony !" 
 u Oh, is this the case ? then God help me. God help us all 
 to forget party names, and to become Christians in deed and 
 in truth." 
 
 Mr. Whitfield died in Newburyport, Mass., on the 30th 
 of September, 1770, in the fifty-sixth year of his age, on his 
 seventh visit to America, having been in the ministry thirty- 
 four years. 
 
 Canticles. — No book has been taken more liberties with 
 than that of the Canticles. 
 
 A grave commentator thus allegorizes. " Solomon's bed 
 is the church ; the sixty valiant men about it are the six 
 working days of the week and the ten commandments ; the 
 thread of scarlet is a confession of faith in the doctrine of 
 
RELIGIOUS. 285 
 
 the Trinity and the death of Christ. My beloved put in his 
 hand by the hole; that is, Thomas put his hand into the 
 side of Christ." This devout rhapsody the holy man calls 
 heavenly food ; and he advises his readers to live upon it 
 with the lips of cogitation and the teeth of admiration. — 
 Philon. Carpath epise in Cantic. interp. apud Bibliot Pa- 
 trum, torn. i. 
 
 A man who allows his fancy to play with Scripture may 
 make anything of it. The following parallel, delivered in a 
 sermon at St. Paul's, in London, before the gentlemen of 
 Nottinghamshire on the day of their yearly feast, is curious. 
 
 The town of Nottingham doth run parallel with Jerusalem. 
 Was Jerusalem set upon precipitous hills ? and is not Not- 
 tingham also? And as the mountains stood round about 
 Jerusalem, do they not so about Nottingham ? And as there 
 were two famous ascents in Jerusalem, is it not so in Not- 
 tingham ? I need not tell you that the soul of a man is a 
 precious thing, and the loss thereof sad in any country ; yet, 
 methinks, in the aguish parts of Kent and Essex, where I 
 have seen sometimes a whole parish sick together, the souls 
 that miscarry thence seem but to go from purgatory to hell. 
 But those that perish out of Nottinghamshire go from heaven 
 to hell. When a soul miscarries out of Nottinghamshire, 
 methinks in melancholy visions I see the infernals flocking 
 about it, and saying, M Art thou come from those pleasant 
 mountains to these Stygian lakes ?" &c. Was it worth a 
 man's while to come, as the preacher tells his auditors he 
 did, " twenty-four miles in slobby weather" to preach such 
 stuff as this ? 
 
 A certain preacher took for his text Acts xx., 15: " Paul 
 went afoot to Assos ;" and expatiated on the humility of 
 trudging afoot after the apostle's example. Unluckily for 
 this declaimer, the word ne&vetv does not signify to go afoot, 
 it means to go by land ; and he might as well have preached 
 on the infirmities of good men, and have proved that St. 
 Paul was timorous of sailing. 
 
 It would be easy to transcribe more instances of this kind, 
 but I suppose the reader is already tired with the above. 
 
 I shall only stop to express my grief that men whose 
 business it is to inform others should be so ignorant them- 
 selves ; that they who pretend to illuminate should darken. 
 Such characters who substitute fancy for genius, and con- 
 temptible singularities for extraordinary powers, give but 
 little evidence, in my opinion, of their being called to the 
 sacred work of the ministry. And yet, alas ! how many of 
 
286 ANECDOTES. 
 
 those miserable preachers have we, with whom multitudes 
 as miserable as themselves are carried away ! 
 
 REMARKABLE CONVERSIONS. 
 
 Highwayman Reclaimed. — It was the custom of Dr. 
 Sharp, archbishop of York, to have a saddle-horse attend 
 his carriage, that, in case of fatigue from sitting, he might 
 take the refreshment of a ride. As he was thus going to 
 his episcopal residence, and had got a mile or two before his 
 carriage, a decent, well-looking young man came up with 
 him, and, with a trembling hand and a faltering tongue, pre- 
 sented a pistol to his lordship's breast and demanded his 
 money. The archbishop, with great composure, turned 
 about ; and, looking steadfastly at him, desired he would re- 
 move that dangerous weapon, and tell him fairly his condi- 
 tion. " Sir ! sir !" with great agitation cried the youth ; "no 
 words ; 'tis not a time ; your money, instantly !" " Hear me, 
 young man," said the archbishop ; " you see I am an old man, 
 and my life is of very little consequence ; yours seems far 
 otherwise. I am named Sharp, and am Archbishop of 
 York ; my carriage and servants are behind. Tell me what 
 jnoney you want and who you are, and I will not injure, 
 but prove a friend. Here, take this ; and now ingenuous- 
 ly tell me how much you want to make you independent 
 of so destructive a business as you are now engaged in." 
 " Oh, sir," replied the man, " I detest the business as much 
 as you. I am — but — but — at home there are creditors who 
 will not stay — fifty pounds, my lord, indeed would do what 
 no tongue besides my own can tell." "Well, sir, I take it 
 on your word ; and upon my honour, if you will in a day 
 
 or two call on me at , what I have now given you shall 
 
 be made up to that sum." The highwayman looked at him, 
 was silent, and went off; and, at the time appointed, actually 
 waited on the archbishop, and assured his lordship his words 
 had left impressions which nothing could ever destroy. 
 
 Nothing more transpired for a year and a half or more ; 
 when, one morning, a person knocked at his grace's gate, and 
 with peculiar earnestness desired to see him. The archbish- 
 op ordered the stranger to be brought in. He entered the 
 room where his lordship was, but had scarce advanced a few 
 steps when his countenance changed, his knees tottered, and 
 he sunk almost breathless on the floor. On recovering he 
 
RELIGIOUS. 287 
 
 requested an audience in private. The apartment being 
 cleared, " My lord," said he, " you cannot have forgotten the 
 circumstances at such a time and place ; gratitude will never 
 suffer them to be obliterated from my mind. In me, my 
 lord, you now behold that once most wretched of mankind ; 
 but now, by your inexpressible humanity, rendered equal, 
 perhaps superior, in happiness to millions. Oh, my lord !" 
 teais for a while preventing his utterance, " 'tis you, 'tis you 
 that have saved me, body and soul ; 'tis you that have saved 
 a dear and much-loved wife, and a little brood of children 
 whom I loved more than my life. Here are the fifty 
 pounds ; but never shall I find language to testify what I 
 feel. Your God is your witness ; your deed itself is your 
 glory ; and may heaven and all its blessings be your present 
 and everlasting reward ! 
 
 " I was the younger son of a wealthy man ; your lordship 
 
 knows him ; his name was ; my marriage alienated 
 
 his affection, and my brother withdrew his love, and left me 
 to sorrow and penury. A month since my brother died a 
 bachelor and intestate. What was his is become mine; 
 and by your astonishing goodness I am now at once the 
 most penitent, the most grateful, and the happiest of my 
 species." 
 
 " He Died." — A certain libertine, of a most abandoned 
 character, happened one day to stroll into a church, where he 
 heard the fifth chapter of Genesis read ; importing, that so long 
 lived such and such persons, and yet the conclusion was, 
 "they died." Enos lived 905 years, and he died ; Seth.912, 
 and he died; Methusaleh 969, and he died. The frequent 
 repetition of the words he died, notwithstanding the great 
 length of years they had lived, struck him so deeply with the 
 thought of death and eternity, that, through Divine grace, he 
 became a most exemplary Christian. 
 
 The Rev. Mr. M. was educated for the bar. His conver- 
 sion arose from the following circumstance. He was de- 
 sired one evening by some of his companions, who were 
 with him at a coffee-house, to go and hear Mr. John Wesley, 
 who, they were told, was to preach in the neighbourhood, and 
 then to return and exhibit his manner and discourse for their 
 entertainment. He went with that intention ; and, just as he 
 entered the place, Mr. Wesley named as his text, " Prepare 
 to meet thy God," with a solemnity of accent which struck 
 him, and which inspired a seriousness that increased as the 
 
288 ANECDOTES. 
 
 good man proceeded in exhorting his hearers to repentance. 
 He returned to the coffee-room, and was asked by his ac- 
 quaintance "if he had taken off the old Methodist." To which 
 he answered, " No, gentlemen ; hut he has taken me off" and 
 from that time he left their company altogether, and in future 
 associated with serious people, and became himself a serious 
 character. 
 
 A lady, having spent the afternoon and evening at cards 
 and in gay company, when she came home, found her ser- 
 vant-maid reading a pious book. She looked over her 
 shoulders and said, " Poor melancholy soul ! what pleasure 
 canst thou find in poring so long over that book ?" That 
 night the lady could not sleep, but lay sighing and weeping 
 very much. Her servant asked her once and again what was 
 the matter. At length she burst out into a flood of tears, 
 and said, " Oh ! it is one word I saw in your book that 
 troubles me : there I saw that word eternity. Oh how hap- 
 py should I be if I were prepared for eternity !" The con- 
 sequence of this impression was, that she laid aside her cards, 
 forsook her gay company, and set herself seriously to pre- 
 pare for another world. 
 
 Poor Robber. — In the year 1662, when Paris was afflict- 
 ed with a long and severe famine, Monsieur de Sallo, return- 
 ing from a summer evening's walk, accompanied with only 
 a page, was accosted by a man who presented his pistol, and, 
 in a manner far from hardened resolution, asked him for his 
 money. M. de Sallo, observing that he came to the wrong 
 person, and that he could obtain but little from him, added, 
 " I have but three pistoles, which are not worth a scuffle, so 
 much good may it do you with them ; but, like a friend, let 
 me tell you, you are going on in a very bad way." The rob- 
 ber took them, and, without asking him for more, walked away 
 with an air of dejection and terror. 
 
 The fellow was no sooner gone than M. de Sallo ordered 
 his page to follow the robber, to observe where he went, and 
 to bring him an account of all he should discover. The boy 
 obeyed, pursued him through several obscure streets, and 
 at length saw him enter a baker's shop, where he observed 
 him change one of the pistoles and buy a large brown loaf: 
 with this salutary purchase the robber went a few doors far- 
 ther, and, entering an alley, ascended several flights of stairs. 
 The boy crept up after him to the topmost story, where he 
 saw him go into a room which was no otherwise illuminated 
 
RELIGIOUS. 289 
 
 than by the friendly light of the moon ; and, peeping through 
 a crevice, he perceived the wretched man cast the loaf upon 
 the floor, and, bursting into tears, cry out, " There, eat your 
 fill ; this is the dearest loaf I ever bought ; I have robbed a 
 gentleman of three pistoles ; let us husband them well, and 
 let me have no more teazings ; for, soon or late, these doings 
 must bring me to ruin." His wife, having calmed the agony 
 of his mind, took up the loaf, and, cutting it, gave four pieces 
 to four poor starving children. 
 
 The page, having thus performed his commission, returned 
 home and gave his master an account of all he had seen and 
 heard. Sallo, who was much moved (what Christian breast 
 can be unmoved at distress like this !), commanded the boy 
 to call him at five the next morning. He rose accordingly, 
 and took his boy with him to show him the way ; he in- 
 quired of his neighbours the character of a man who lived in 
 such a garret, with a wife and four children ; by whom he 
 was informed that he was a very industrious man, a tender 
 husband, and a quiet neighbour ; that his occupation was that 
 of a shoemaker, and that he was a neat workman ; but was 
 overburdened with a family, and struggled hard to live in 
 such dear times. Satisfied with this account, M. de Sallo 
 ascended to the shoemaker's lodging, and, knocking at the 
 door, it was opened by the unhappy man himself; who, know- 
 ing him at first sight to be the gentleman whom he had rob- 
 bed, prostrated himself at his feet. M. de Sallo desired him 
 to make no noise, assuring him he had not the least inten- 
 tion to hurt him. " You have a good character," said he, 
 " among your neighbours, but you must expect your life will 
 be cut short if you are so wicked as to continue the free- 
 doms you took with me. Hold your hand ; here are thirty 
 pistoles to buy leather ; husband it well, and set your chil- 
 dren a laudable example. To put you out of further tempt- 
 ations to commit such ruinous and fatal crimes, I will en- 
 courage your industry. I hear you are a neat workman ; 
 you shall therefore now take measure of me and my lad for 
 two pairs of shoes each, and he shall call upon you for them." 
 The whole family seemed absorbed in joy ; amazement and 
 gratitude in some measure deprived them of speech. M. de 
 Sallo departed, greatly moved, and with a mind replete with 
 satisfaction at having saved a man from the commission of 
 guilt, from an ignominious death, and, perhaps, from everlast- 
 ing misery. 
 
 Never was a day much better begun ; the consciousness 
 of having performed such an action, whenever it recurs to 
 
 O o 13 
 
290 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the mind, must be attended with pleasure, and that self-corn' 
 placency which is more desirable than gold will be ever the 
 attendant on such truly Christian charity. 
 
 FAITHFUL CHRISTIANS. 
 
 A Christian is a child of God, a brother of Christ, a tem- 
 ple of the Holy Ghost, an heir of the kingdom, a companion 
 of angels, a lord of the world, and a partaker of Divine nature. 
 The Christian's glory is Christ in heaven, and Christ's glory 
 is the Christian on earth. He is a worthy child of God, en- 
 dued with Christ's righteousness, walking in holy fear and 
 cheerful obedience before his Father, shining as a light in 
 the world, a rose among thorns. He is a wonderfully beau- 
 tiful creature of the grace of God, over which the holy 
 angels rejoice, and attended and ministered unto by them 
 wherever he goes. He is a wonder to the world, a terror to 
 the devils, an ornament to the church, a delight to heaven. 
 His heart is full of pain, his eyes full of tears for a perishing 
 world, his mouth full of sighs, and his hands full of good 
 works. — Luther. 
 
 The Pious Bookseller. — Mr. Flavel being in London 
 in 1673, his old bookseller, Mr. Boulter, gave him the follow- 
 ing relation, viz., " That some time before there came into 
 his shop asparkish gentleman to inquire for some play books. 
 Mr. Boulter told him he had none, but showed him Mr. 
 Flavel's little treatise of keeping the heart, entreating him to 
 read it, and assured him it would do him more good than 
 playbooks. The gentleman read the title, and glancing upon 
 several pages here and there, broke out into these and such 
 other expressions : ' What a fanatic was he who made this 
 book !' Mr. Boulter begged of him to buy and read it, and 
 told him ' he had no cause to censure it so bitterly.' At last 
 he bought it, but told him he would not read it. ' What 
 will you do with it, then ?' said Mr. Boulter. ' I will tear 
 and burn it,' said he, 'and send it to the devil.' Mr. Boul- 
 ter told him he should not have it. Upon this the gentle- 
 man promised to read it; and Mr. Boulter told him ' that, if 
 he disliked it upon reading it, he would return him his money. 
 About a month after the gentleman came to the shop again 
 in a very modest habit, and with a serious countenance ad- 
 dressed him thus : ' Sir, I most heartily thank you for put- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 291 
 
 ting this book into my hands. I bless God that ever I came 
 into your shop.' And then he bought a hundred more of 
 those books of him, and told him ' he would give them to 
 the poor who could not buy them.' " 
 
 I have Souls on Board ! — During a recent voyage, sail- 
 ing in a heavy sea near a reef of rocks, a minister on board 
 the vessel remarked, in a conversation between the man at 
 the helm and the sailors, an inquiry whether they should be 
 able to clear the rocks without making another tack ; when 
 the captain gave orders that they should put off, to avoid all 
 risk. The minister observed, " I am rejoiced we have so 
 careful a commander." The captain replied, " It is neces- 
 sary I should be very careful, because I have souls on board. 
 I think of my responsibility ; and, should anything happen 
 through carelessness, that souls are very valuable." The 
 minister, turning to one of his congregation who was upon 
 deck with him, observed, " The captain has preached me a 
 powerful sermon. I hope I shall never forget, when I am 
 addressing my fellow-creatures on the concerns of eternity, 
 that I have souls on board." 
 
 Punctual Hearer. — A woman who always used to at 
 tend public worship with great punctuality, and took care to 
 be always in time, was asked how it was she could always 
 come so early ; she answered very wisely, " that it was 
 part of her religion not to disturb the religion of others." 
 
 The Deaf Woman a Constant Attendant. — " I have 
 in my congregation," said a venerable minister of the gospel, 
 " a worthy aged woman, who has for many years been so 
 deaf as not to distinguish the loudest sound, and yet she is 
 always one of the first in the meeting. On asking the rea- 
 son of her constant attendance (as it was impossible for her 
 to hear my voice), she answered, ' Though I cannot hear 
 you, I come to God's house because I love it, and would be 
 found in his ways ; and he gives me many a sweet thought 
 upon the text when it is pointed out to me : another reason 
 is because there I am in the best company, in the more im- 
 mediate presence of God, and among his saints, the honour- 
 able of the earth. I am not satisfied with serving God in 
 private ; it is my duty and privilege to honour him regularly 
 in public' " What a reproof this to those who have their 
 hearing, and yet always come to a place of worship late or 
 not at all ! 
 
292 ANECDOTES. 
 
 UNFAITHFUL CHRISTIANS. 
 
 Folly of Renouncing Christ. — A certain Italian hav- 
 ing his enemy in his power, told him there was no possible 
 way for him to save his life unless he would immediately 
 deny and renounce his Saviour. The timorous wretch, in 
 nopes of mercy, did it ; when the other forthwith stabbed 
 him to the heart, saying, " That now he had a full and no- 
 ble revenge, for he had killed at once both his body and 
 soul." 
 
 Force of Custom. — In a certain town not more than fifty 
 miles from Boston, as the clergyman was holding forth in 
 his usual drowsy manner, one of the deacons, probably in- 
 fluenced by the narcotic qualities of the discourse, fell into a 
 doze. The preacher, happening to use the words, " What is 
 the price of all earthly pleasures ?" the good deacon, who 
 kept a small store, thinking the inquiry respecting some kind 
 of merchandise, immediately answered, " Seven and six- 
 pence a dozen." 
 
 Protestants Reproved. — " I remember," says Mr. Mat- 
 thew Henry, " when I was a young man, coming up to Lon- 
 don in the stagecoach, in King James's time, there happened 
 to be a gentleman in the company that then was not afraid 
 to own himself a Jesuit : many rencounters he and I had 
 upon the road, and this was one ; he was praising the cus- 
 tom, in popish countries, of keeping the church doors always 
 open, for people to go in at any time to say their prayers. 
 I told him that it looked too much like the practice of the 
 Pharisees, that prayed in the synagogues, and did not agree 
 with Christ's command, 'Thou, when thou prayest, enter not 
 into the church with the doors open, but into thy closet, and 
 shut thy doors.' When he was pressed with that argument, 
 he replied with some vehemence, ' I believe you Protestants 
 say your prayers nowhere ; for,' said he, ' I have travelled 
 a great deal in the coach in company with Protestants, have 
 often laid in inns in the same room with them, and have care- 
 fully watched them, and could never perceive that any of 
 them said their prayers, night or morning, but one, and he 
 was a Presbyterian.'" Superstitious and self-righteous as 
 the Papists are, they are very attentive to the form, at least ; 
 while it is too true that many Protestants, so called, never 
 pray at all. Fas est doceri ab hoste. 
 
RELIGIOUS. 293 
 
 It is too common with some professors, under a pretence 
 of magnifying the grace of God, to excuse their want of 
 zeal and their negligence in the duties of religion by plead- 
 ing that they can do nothing without the sensible influence 
 of grace upon their minds. 
 
 I once heard a zealous minister (now with God) talking in 
 his sleep, which was a very customary thing with him, and 
 lamenting this disposition in some professors, which he 
 thus reproved : " I am a poor creature, says one, and I can do 
 nothing, says another. No, and I am afraid you do not want 
 to do much. I know you have no strength of your own, 
 but how is it you do not cry to the Strong for strength ?" 
 
 The late Hearer. — A minister whom I well knew, ob- 
 serving that some of his people made a practice of coming 
 in very late, and after a considerable part of the sermon was 
 gone through, was determined that they should feel the force 
 of a public reproof. One day, therefore, as they entered the 
 place of worship at their usual late period, the minister, ad- 
 dressing his congregation, said, " But, my hearers, it is time 
 for us now to conclude, for here are our friends just come to 
 fetch us home." We may easily conjecture what the par- 
 ties felt at this curious but pointed address. 
 
 A Hypocrite. — A hypocrite is a saint that goes by clock- 
 work; a machine made by the devil's geometry, which he 
 winds and nicks to go as he pleases. He is the devil's finger 
 watch that never goes true ; but too fast or too slow, as the 
 devil sets it. A hypocrite's religion is a mummery, and his 
 gospel walkings nothing but a masquerade. He never wears 
 his own person, but assumes a shape, as the devil does when 
 he appears. A hypocrite is a weathercock upon the steeple 
 of the church, that turns with every wind. — Butler. 
 
 Let me here just drop a word to those who, while they 
 profess attachment to religion, only injure it by their irregu- 
 larity of character. I believe nothing gives infidels a greater 
 reason to suspect the reality of religion, nothing furnishes 
 skeptics with stronger arguments for their tenets, nothing 
 makes the profane more contented in their course of im- 
 piety, than when they find those who profess superior sanc- 
 tity no better than the world at large. Lord Rochester told 
 Bishop Burnet that " there was nothing that gave him and 
 many others a more secret encouragement in their ill ways 
 than that those who pretended to believe lived so that they 
 
294 ANECDOTES. 
 
 could not be thought to be in earnest." O ye professors who 
 are marked for volatility of disposition and indecision of char- 
 acter, think what you are doing. Let not the sacred reli- 
 gion of Jesus be wounded in the house of his friends. If 
 religion be nothing in your view, act honestly ; give up the 
 name ; but if it be (as it surely is) divine, then let all your 
 powers be employed in its defence, and your life one con- 
 tinued testimony of its excellence. 
 
 The Barren Professors Reproved. — "What do ye 
 more than others V is a very important inquiry for the 
 Christian to consider. The sublime doctrines, holy pre- 
 cepts, delightful promises, and bright prospects of the Chris- 
 tian religion, all tend to excite to diligence and activity. 
 Yet how many who call themselves Christians are outdone 
 in many things, even by heathens ! These things ought not 
 so to be. An Atheist being asked by a professor of Chris- 
 tianity how he could quiet his conscience in so desperate a 
 state, replied, " As much am I astonished as yourself, that, 
 believing the Christian religion to be true, you can quiet 
 your conscience in living so much like the world. Did I 
 believe what you profess, I should think no care, no dili- 
 gence, no zeal enough." Reader, dost thou believe ? then 
 show thy faith by thy works. 
 
 Faith and Works. — At a boarding-school in the vicinity 
 
 of London, Miss , one of the scholars, was remarked 
 
 for repeating her lessons well. A schoolfellow, rather idly 
 inclined, said to her one day, " How is it you always say 
 your lessons so perfectly ?" She replied, " I always pray 
 that I may say my lessons well." "Do you?" says the 
 other ; " well, then, I will pray too." But, alas ! the next 
 morning she could not repeat a word of her usual task. 
 Very much confounded, she ran to her friend, and reproached 
 her with having deceived her ; " I prayed," says she, " but I 
 could not say a single word of my lesson." "Perhaps," 
 rejoined the other, " you took no pains to learn it." " Learn 
 it ! learn it !" answered the first, " I did not learn it at all : 
 I thought I had no occasion to learn it when I prayed that 
 I might say it." The reader will not fail to make the appli- 
 cation. 
 
RELIGIOUS. 295 
 
 VARIOUS CHRISTIAN DUTIES. 
 
 Forgiving one Another. — A person in high life once 
 went to Sir Eardley Wilmot, late lord-chief-justice of the 
 Court of Common Pleas, under the impression of great wrath 
 and indignation at a real injury which he had received from 
 a person high in the political world, and which he was med- 
 itating how to resent in the most effectual manner. After 
 relating the particulars, he asked Sir Eardley if he did not 
 think it would be manly to resent it! "Yes," said the or- 
 nament of the bench, " it will be manly to resent it, but it 
 will be godlike to forgive it." The gentleman declared that 
 this had such an instantaneous effect upon him, that he came 
 away quite a different man and in a totally different temper 
 from that in which he went. 
 
 " What great matter," said a heathen to a Christian, while 
 he was beating him almost to death, " what great matter did 
 Christ ever do for thee ?" " Even this," said the Christian ; 
 " that I can forgive you, though you use me thus cruelly." 
 
 The Mistaken Doctor. — A lady, being visited with a 
 violent disorder, was under the necessity of applying for 
 medical assistance. Her doctor, being a gentleman of great 
 latitude in his religious sentiments, endeavoured, in the 
 course of his attendance, to persuade his patient to adopt his 
 creed as well as to take his medicines. He frequently in- 
 sisted, with a considerable degree of dogmatism, that repent- 
 ance and reformation were all that either God or man could 
 require of us, and that, consequently, there was no necessity 
 for an atonement by the sufferings of the Son of God. As 
 this was a doctrine the lady did not believe, she contented 
 herself with following his medical prescriptions without em- 
 bracing his religious, or, rather, irreligious creed. On her 
 recovery she forwarded a note to the doctor, desiring the fa- 
 vour of his company to tea when it suited his convenience, 
 and requested him to make out his bill. In a short time he 
 made his visit, and, the teatable being removed, she addressed 
 him as follows : " My long illness has occasioned you a num- 
 ber of journeys, and, I suppose, doctor, you have procured 
 my medicines at considerable expense." The doctor ac- 
 knowledged that " good drugs were not to be obtained but 
 at a very high price." Upon which she replied, " I am sorry 
 that I have put you to so much labour and expense, and also 
 
296 ANECDOTES. 
 
 promise that, on any future indisposition, I will never trouble 
 you again. So you see that I both repent and reform, and 
 that is all you require." The doctor, immediately shrugging 
 up his shoulders, exclaimed, " That will not do for me." 
 The words of the wise are as goads. — Ecc. xii., 11. 
 
 Perseverance. — Two negroes at the South, who had just 
 been to hear aa eloquent pulpit discourse, were conversing 
 together respecting it, when one remarked that he could "no 
 understand." The other replied that he understood all but 
 one word. " What dat ?" " Perseverance /'" " Oh, me 
 tell you what dat mean ; it mean, take right hold, hold fast, 
 hang on, and no let go." 
 
 Dr. Payson's Message to Young Men preparing for 
 the Ministry. — "What if God should place in your hand 
 a diamond, and tell you to inscribe on it a sentence which 
 should be read at the last day, and shown there as an index 
 of your own thoughts and feelings, what care, what caution 
 would you exercise in the selection ! Now this is what God 
 has done. He has placed before you immortal minds, more 
 imperishable than the diamond, on which you are about to 
 inscribe every day and every hour, by your instructions, by 
 your spirit, or by your example, something which will remain 
 and be exhibited for or against you at the judgment day." 
 
 John Randolph's Mother. — The late John Randolph, 
 some years before his death, wrote to a friend as follows : 
 
 " I used to be called a Frenchman, because I took the 
 French side in politics ; and though that was unjust, yet the 
 truth is, I should have been a French atheist if it had not 
 been for one recollection, and that was the memory of the 
 time when my departed mother used to take my little hands 
 in hers, and cause me on my knees to say, ' Our Father 
 who art in heaveny 
 
 Effects of Parental Indulgence. — It is notorious that 
 indulged children become hard-hearted, ungrateful, cruel to 
 their parents in advanced life. There is no true and abiding 
 love towards a parent where there is not genuine respect for 
 authority. They first contemn his authority, then despise 
 him, then hate him, then resent, disregard, and abuse him. 
 They claim it as a right to have their wishes gratified ; they 
 revenge refusal. Why should they not? They are but 
 carrying out the principles in which he has educated ttam. 
 
RELIGIOUS. 29? 
 
 Their parent has taught them so. He has not trained them 
 up in the way they should go, but in the way they would 
 go. He has suffered human wisdom to reverse the mandate 
 of Divine. He has accommodated his government to their 
 selfish wills, instead of subduing those wills to rightful au- 
 thority. The consequence is, a continued and growing mis- 
 understanding and variance between them and the authorities 
 over them, first between them and their parents, then between 
 them and their teachers, then between them and their Bible, 
 then between them and their God, and this breach gradually 
 widens to an impassable gulf. — Winslow. 
 
 Parents and Children. — It is of great importance how 
 parents act towards their children. A wanton young lady 
 once told her vicious mother, who was standing by her bed- 
 side, " that it was too late to speak of God to her ; for," says 
 she, " you have undone me, and I am going to hell before, 
 and you will certainly come after." Plato, seeing a child 
 doing mischief in the streets, went immediately and corrected 
 its father for it. That father who does not correct his child 
 when he does amiss is himself justly corrected for his faults, 
 and it is the pattern of God's judicial proceedings ; for as he 
 visits the iniquities of the fathers upon the children who im- 
 itate them, so he visits the iniquities of the children upon 
 the fathers who countenance and indulge them. 
 
 Deliberation ; or, the Town-clerk of Ephesus. — 
 Deliberation, which is the act of considering things before 
 an undertaking or making choice, is very essential to our 
 honour and comfort in the present state. " I have heard 
 one say," observes Dr. Mather, " that there was a gentleman 
 in the nineteenth chapter of Acts to whom he was more in- 
 debted than to any man in the world. This was he whom 
 our translation calls the Town-clerk of Ephesus, whose 
 counsel it was to do nothing rashly. Upon any proposal of 
 consequences, it was a usual speech with him, ' We shall 
 first advise with the Town-clerk of Ephesus.' One, in a 
 fond compliance with a friend, forgetting the town-clerk, 
 may do that in haste which he may repent at leisure ; may 
 do what may cost him several hundreds of pounds, besides 
 troubles which he would not have undergone for thousands." 
 
 Example. — One of the most effectual means of doing 
 good and impressing the minds of others is by example. 
 He who exhibits those excellences in his life which he pro- 
 
 Pp 
 
298 ANECDOTES. 
 
 claims with his tongue will appear the most amiable and 
 prove the most useful. A fine genius, a retentive memory, 
 and an eloquent tongue may be desirable, but an enlightened 
 mind and uniform life are every way superior. Well-doing 
 must be joined with well-thinking in order to form the Chris- 
 tian and constitute real excellence of character. 
 
 It is observed of Caesar that he never said to his soldiers 
 " Ite," go on ; but " Venite," come on, or follow me. So 
 our great Exemplar, while he commands us to duty, hath 
 shown us the way. " Follow me," is the Divine injunction. 
 
 Two architects were once candidates for the building a 
 certain temple at Athens. The first harangued the crowd 
 very learnedly upon the different orders of architecture, and 
 showed them in what manner the temple should be built. 
 The other, who got up after him, only observed, " That what 
 his brother had spoken he could do ;" and thus he at once 
 gained the cause. So, however excellent the discussion or 
 profession of Christianity may be, the practice of it is far 
 more so 
 
 A Good Conscience is to the soul what health is to 
 the body. It preserves a constant ease and serenity with 
 us, that more than countervail all the calamities and afflic- 
 tions that can befall us. I know nothing so hard for a gen- 
 erous mind to get over as calumny and reproach, and nothing 
 palliates the offence more than our consciousness that we do 
 not deserve them. " If any one speaks ill of thee," said 
 Epictetus, " consider whether he has truth on his side ; and, 
 if so, reform thyself, that his censures may not affect thee." 
 When Anaximander was told that the very boys laughed at 
 his singing, " Ay," says he, "then I must learn to sing bet- 
 ter." Plato being told that he had many enemies who spoke 
 ill of him, " It is no matter," said he ; "I will live so that 
 none shall believe them." Hearing at another time that an 
 intimate friend of his had spoken detractingly of him, " I am 
 sure he would not do it," said he, " if he had not some rea- 
 son for it." This is the surest as well as the noblest way 
 of drawing the sting out of a reproach, and the true method 
 of preparing a man for that great and only relief against the 
 pains of calumny — a good conscience. 
 
 Humility. — "Should any one," saith St. Augustine, " ask 
 me concerning the Christian religion and the people of it, 
 I would answer that the first, second, and third things there- 
 in, and all, is humility." 
 
RELIGIOUS. 299 
 
 Ignatius was so humble that he disdained not to learn of 
 any. Gregory the Great was so exemplary in his humility, 
 that, though he was born of noble parents, yet he had so lit- 
 tle respect to his descent, that he would often say, with 
 tears in his eyes, " that all glory was miserable if the owner 
 of it did not seek after the glory of God." King Agathocles 
 would be served in earthen vessels, to remind him of his 
 father, who was a poor potter. Wellegis, archbishop of 
 Mentz, being a wheelwright's son, hung wheels and wheel- 
 wright's tools about his bedchamber, and wrote under them, 
 in capital letters, " Wellegis, Wellegis, remember thy ori- 
 ginal." " This is all I know," said a philosopher, " that I 
 know nothing." 
 
 Mr. J. Fletcher. — It is recorded of the Rev. Mr. Fletch- 
 er, that he never thought anything too mean but sin ; he 
 looked on nothing else as beneath his character. If he 
 overtook a poor man or woman on the road with a burden 
 too heavy for them, he did not fail to offer his assistance to 
 bear part of it ; and he would not easy take a denial. This, 
 indeed, he has frequently done. 
 
 When Lord North, during the American war, sent to the 
 Rev. Mr. Fletcher, of Medeley (who had written on the un- 
 fortunate American war in a manner that had pleased the 
 minister), to know what he wanted, he sent him word that 
 he wanted but one thing (which it was not in his lordship's 
 power to give him), and that was, more grace. " Sit anima 
 mea cum Fletchero." 
 
 The Minister's Prayer-book. — The pastor of a congre- 
 gation in America, after many years' labour among his peo- 
 ple, was supposed by them to have declined much in his 
 vigour and usefulness ; in consequence of which, two gen- 
 tlemen of the congregation waited upon him and exhibited 
 their complaints. The minister received them with much 
 affection, and assured them that he was equally sensible of 
 his languor and little success, and that the cause had given 
 him very great uneasiness. The gentlemen wished he 
 would mention what he thought was the cause. Without 
 hesitation, the minister replied, " The loss of my prayer- 
 book." " Your prayer-book !" said one of the gentlemen, 
 with surprise ; " I never knew you used one." " Yes," re- 
 plied the minister, " I have enjoyed the benefit of one for 
 many years till lately, and I attribute my want of success 
 to the loss of it. The prayers of my people were my prayer- 
 
300 ANE CDOTES 
 
 book, and it has occasioned great grief to me that they 
 have laid it aside. Now if you will return and procure me 
 the use of my prayer-book again, I doubt not that I shall 
 preach much better, and that you will hear more profitably." 
 The gentlemen, conscious of their neglect, thanked the min- 
 ister for the reproof, and wished him a good-morning. 
 
 Civility. — " If a civil word or two will render a man 
 happy," said a French king, " he must be a wretch indeed 
 who will not give them to him." Were superiors to keep 
 this in view, yea, were all mankind to observe it, how much 
 happier would the world be than what it is ? We may say 
 of this disposition, " that it is like lighting another man's can- 
 dle by one's own, which loses none of its light by what the 
 other gains." 
 
 Frederic II., king of Prussia, made it a point to return every 
 mark of respect or civility shown him in the street by those 
 who met him. He one day observed at table, that, whenever 
 he rode the streets of Berlin, his hat was always in his hand. 
 Baron Pollnitz, who was present, said " that his majesty 
 had no occasion to notice the civility of every one who 
 pulled his hat off to him in the street." " And why not ?" 
 said the king, in a lively tone: "are they not all human 
 beings as well as myself?" 
 
 It was a maxim of a celebrated minister, " that if a child 
 but lisped to give you pleasure, you ought to be pleased." 
 When occasionally preaching in the villages, he used to be 
 delighted in visiting the poor, and, when solicited, would re- 
 gale himself with their brown bread and black tea ; but took 
 care, at the same time, that they should lose nothing by their 
 attention. " When a poor person shows anxiety to admin- 
 ister to your comfort," he would say, "do not interrupt him. 
 Why deprive him of the pleasure of expressing his friend 
 ship?" 
 
 The Sabbath. — Bishop Andrews observes, " that to keep 
 the Sabbath in an idle manner is the Sabbath of oxen and 
 j.sses ; to keep it in a jovial manner, to see plays and sights, 
 lo be at cards and entertainments, is the Sabbath of the gold- 
 en calf; but to keep it in surfeiting and drunkenness, in 
 chambering and wantonness, this is the Sabbath of Satan, 
 and the devil's holyday." 
 
 The Sabbath-breaker Silenced. — A pious poor old 
 of our church at , in reasoning with a Sabbath- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 301 
 
 breaker, said, " Suppose now I had seven shillings, and sup- 
 pose I met a man and gave him six shillings freely out of 
 the seven ; what would you say to that ?" " Why, I should 
 say you were very kind, and that the man ought to be thank- 
 ful." " Well, but suppose he was to knock me down and 
 rob me of the other shilling ; what then ?" " Why, then he'd 
 deserve hanging." " Well, now, this is your case ; ' thou art 
 the man ;' God has freely given you six days to work and 
 earn your bread, and the seventh he has kept for himself, 
 and commands us to keep it holy ; but you, not satisfied with 
 the six days God has given, rob him of the seventh ; what, 
 then, do you deserve ?" The man was silenced. 
 
 Washington. — In the town of , in Connecticut, 
 
 where the roads were extremely rough, Washington was 
 overtaken by night on Saturday, not being able to reach the 
 village where he designed to rest on the Sabbath. Next 
 morning, about sunrise, his coach was harnessed, and he was 
 proceeding forward to an inn near the place of worship 
 which he proposed to attend. A plain man, who was an in- 
 forming officer, came from a cottage and inquired of the 
 coachman whether there was any urgent reasons for his trav- 
 elling on the Lord's day. The general, instead of resenting 
 this as an impertinent rudeness, ordered the coachman to 
 stop, and with great civility explained the circumstances to 
 the officer, commending him for his fidelity, and assured him 
 that nothing was farther from his intention than to treat with 
 disrespect the laws and usages of Connecticut relative to 
 the Sabbath, which met' with his most cordial approbation. 
 
 RESTITUTION. 
 
 Anecdote by Dr. Clarke. — A gentleman in at- 
 tended the preaching of Dr. Clarke, and was deeply convin- 
 ced of sin. With strong prayer and tears he sought pardon, 
 but found not. Being confined by sickness soon after, he 
 sent for Dr. Clarke, who came ; but learning how long he 
 had mourned, and with what earnestness he had sought sal- 
 vation, he secretly wondered at God's so long withholding 
 freedom from such deep repentance ; and finding the lamp 
 of life burning low, and mental agony hurrying on its extinc- 
 tion, with tender but firm language he said, " It is not often, 
 Mr. , that God thus deals with a soul so deeply hum- 
 
302 ANECDOTES. 
 
 bled as yours, and in his own appointed way seeking redemp- 
 tion. Sir, there mast be a cause. You have left something 
 undone which it is your duty and interest to have done. God 
 judge between you and it." 
 
 Fixing his eyes intently on Dr. Clarke, the gentleman gave 
 
 the following narration : " In the year I was at , 
 
 and took my passage in the ship for England. Before 
 
 sailing, some merchants put on board a small bag of dollars, 
 which were given in charge to the captain for such and such 
 parties. I saw the transaction, and noticed the captain's 
 carelessness, who left the bag day after day rolling upon the 
 locker. For the simple purpose of frightening him, I hid it. 
 He made no inquiries, and we arrived at . I still re- 
 tained it till it should be missed. Months passed, and still 
 no inquiry was made. The parties to whom it had been 
 consigned came to the captain for it. He remembered re- 
 ceiving it in charge, but no more. It must have been left 
 behind. Search was made, letters written, but it could not 
 be found. All this occupied some months. I had now be- 
 come alarmed and ashamed to confess, lest I should implicate 
 my character. 
 
 " The captain was sued, and, having nothing to pay, was 
 cast into prison. He maintained his innocence as to the 
 theft, but confessed his carelessness. He languished two 
 years in prison, and died. Guilt had by this time hardened 
 my mind. I strove to be happy in the amusements of the 
 world, but all in vain. Under your preaching the voice of 
 God broke in upon my conscience. I have agonized at the 
 throne of mercy for the sake of Christ for pardon ; but God 
 is deaf to my prayer. I must go down to the grave unpar- 
 doned, unsaved." 
 
 Dr. Clarke suggested to the dying penitent that God claim- 
 ed from him not only repentance, but restitution. The wid- 
 ow and fatherless children still lived. The gentleman read- 
 ily consented. The sum, with interest and compound inter- 
 est, was made up and given to the widow, to whom the cir- 
 cumstances were made known. The dying man's mind was 
 calmed, and soon, in firm hope of pardon, he died. 
 
 " The Dread of Something after Death." — When the 
 Angel of Death hovers over the bed of sickness, the com- 
 punctious visitings of conscience come upon the soul of the 
 guilty, and bring with them the horror of remorse, late re- 
 pentance, and the desire of restitution. It is one of the most 
 consoling articles of the Christian faith that such repentance 
 
RELIGIOUS. 303 
 
 is followed with hope of forgiveness, peace of mind, and 
 quiet resignation. A fact just related to us it may be useful 
 to record, »as an admonitory lesson to all who may fall into 
 the like temptation. In the course of the forenoon of yes- 
 terday, a person called at the office of Messrs. Beers and 
 Bunnell, and handed to Mr. Beers the sum of twenty dol- 
 lars, stating that it was from a young man who, in changing 
 money for his master, received that sum above what he 
 should have received, at Beers and Bunnell's office, and, 
 without saying anything of it to his master, appropriated il 
 to his own use. The person who handed in the money de- 
 clined giving the name of the conscience-struck young man, 
 but observed that he was lying on a bed of sickness, proba- 
 bly of death, and that he could not rest in view of the here- 
 after till the money had been returned as evidence of his 
 bitter contrition.— N. Y. Statesman. 
 
 The Practical Hearer. — A poor woman in the country 
 went to hear a sermon, wherein, among other evil practices, 
 the use of dishonest weights and measures was exposed. 
 With this discourse she was much affected. The next day, 
 when the minister, according to his custom, went among his 
 hearers, and called upon the woman, he took occasion to ask 
 her what she remembered of his sermon. The poor woman 
 complained much of her bad memory, and said she had for- 
 gotten almost all that he delivered. " But one thing," said 
 she, " I remembered ; I remembered to burn my bushel." 
 A doer of the word cannot be a forgetful hearer. 
 
 SLANDER. 
 
 A Persian soldier, who was heard reviling Alexander the 
 Great, was well admonished by his officer : " Sir, you are 
 'paid to fight against Alexander, and not to rail at him" 
 May we not say of mankind at large that they are bound to 
 pray for their enemies, and not to rail at them ? 
 
 Among the Romans there was a law, that if any servant 
 who had been set free slandered his former master, the 
 master might bring him into bondage again, and take from 
 him all the favours he had bestowed on him. 
 
 Augustine had a distich written on his table, which inti< 
 
304 ANECDOTES. 
 
 mated that whoever attacked the character of the absent 
 were to be excluded. Such a distich, in modern times, I 
 think, would be very serviceable. 
 
 When any one was speaking ill of another in the presence 
 of Peter the Great, he at first listened to him attentively, 
 and then interrupted him. " Is there not," said he, " a fair 
 side also to the character of the person of whom you are 
 speaking ? Come, tell me what good qualities you have 
 remarked about him." One would think this monarch had 
 learned that precept, " Speak not evil one of another." 
 
 The famous Boerhaave was one not easily moved by de- 
 traction. He used to say, " The sparks of calumny will be 
 presently extinct of themselves unless you blow them." It 
 was a good remark of another, that " the malice of ill tongues 
 cast upon a good man is only like a mouthful of smoke 
 blown upon a diamond, which, though it clouds its beauty 
 for the present, yet it is easily rubbed off, and the gem re- 
 stored, with little trouble to its owner." 
 
 Valuable Sentence. — If your enemy is forced to have 
 recourse to a lie to blacken you, consider what a comfort it 
 is to think of your having supported such a character as to 
 render it impossible for malice to hurt you without the aid 
 of falsehood ; and trust to the genuine fairness of your char- 
 acter to clear itself in the end. 
 
 Origin of Slander. — Mother Jasper told me that she 
 heard Greatwood's wife say that John Hardston's aunt 
 mentioned to her that Mrs. Lusty was present when the 
 widow Barkman said that HertalPs cousin thought Ensign 
 Doolittle's sister believed that old Miss Oxley reckoned that 
 Sam Trifle's better half had told Mrs. Spaulding that she 
 heard John Rheumer's woman say that her mother told her 
 that Mrs. Garden had two husbands ! ! 
 
 Rev. Mr. Haynes. — The late Royal Tyler, chief justice 
 of Vermont, when on his circuit at Rutland, frequently spent 
 an evening with Mr. Haynes, of whose talents and principles 
 he ever expressed himself in terms of the highest admiration. 
 He often entertained his family and friends on his return 
 home with anecdotes strikingly illustrative of Mr. Haynes's 
 quickness of perception and reply. 
 
 The two following will furnish a specimen : 
 
 
RELIGIOUS. 305 
 
 Happening one day to pass by the open door of a room 
 where his daughters and some young friends were assembled, 
 he thought, from what he overheard, they were making too 
 free with the characters of their neighbours ; and after their 
 visiters had departed he gave his children a lecture on the 
 sinfulness of scandal. They answered, "But, father, what 
 shall we talk about ? We must talk of something." " If 
 you can do nothing else," said he, " get a pumpkin and roll 
 it about ; that will at least be innocent diversion." A short 
 time afterward an association of ministers met at his house, 
 and during the evening discussions upon some points of 
 Christian doctrine were earnest, and their voices were so 
 loud as to indicate the danger of losing the Christian temper ; 
 when his eldest daughter overhearing them, procured a 
 pumpkin, entered the room, gave it to her father, and said, 
 " There, father, roll it about, roll it about." Mr. Haynes was 
 obliged to explain, and good-humour was instantly restored. 
 
 When a revival of religion was in progress in his parish, 
 and Satan gave intimations of dissatisfaction (as he is wont 
 to do at such times), some of his students, having been slan- 
 dered for their zeal and activity, made their complaints to 
 him of what they had suffered, and expected his sympathy 
 and protection. After a pause Mr. Haynes observed, "I 
 knew all this before." "Why, then," said one, "did you 
 not inform us ?" " Because," said he, " it was not worth 
 communicating ; and I now tell you plainly, and once for 
 all, my young friends, it is best to let the devil carry his 
 own mail and bear its expenses." 
 
 BIGOTRY AND PREJUDICE. 
 
 Nothing is more opposite to the spirit of Christianity than 
 bigotry. " This," as one observes, " arraigns, and condemns, 
 and executes all that do not bow down and worship the im- 
 age of its idolatry. Possessing exclusive prerogative, it 
 rejects every other claim. How many of the dead has it 
 sentenced to eternal misery who will shine for ever as stars 
 in the kingdom of their Father ! How many living charac- 
 ters does it reprobate as enemies to the cross of Christ who 
 are placing in it all their glory !" 
 
 A bigoted, litigious Christian, if he be right in his opin- 
 ions (which is much to be doubted), is wrong in his way of 
 defending them : he keeps a doctrine and breaks a com- 
 mandment 
 
306 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Dr. Berkeley, late prebendary of Canterbury, in his ser 
 mon on the 1st Tim. i., 15, declares that salvation is prom- 
 ised only to the episcopal church; and another modern 
 divine, in a recent publication, devoutly gives up all dissent- 
 ers from episcopacy to the uncovenanted mercies of God. 
 Benign Jehovah, defend us from such illiberality ! 
 
 Mr. Staunton. — When Mr. Staunton preached a lecture 
 
 on Lord's day afternoon at , in Oxfordshire, his labours 
 
 were so acceptable that people flocked from all parts to hear 
 him. This was not pleasing to the incumbent, who took the 
 more time in reading prayers, that this novel lecturer might 
 have the less time for preaching, and then left the church, 
 but was followed by none but his clerk, whom he would not 
 suffer to give out the psalm. Mr. Staunton had preached 
 some time on that text, " Buy the truth and sell it not f 
 upon which the incumbent, when he met any coming into 
 the church as he went out, would say, with a sneer, 
 " What ! are you going to buy the truth ?" Poor creature, 
 how it hurt him to see all the people going one way, while 
 he and his clerk were going another ! 
 
 Luther. — Wickliffe's bones were dug up forty years 
 after he was buried, and thrown into the river. But it de 
 serves to be recorded of Charles V. that he would not suf- 
 fer Luther's bones to be touched, though he was an avowed 
 enemy to him. While Charles's troops were quartered at 
 Wirtemberg in 1547, which was one year after Luther's 
 death, a soldier gave Luther's effigy, in the church of the 
 castle, two stabs with his dagger ; and the Spaniards ear- 
 nestly desired that his tomb might be pulled down, and his 
 bones dug up and burned ; but the emperor wisely answered, 
 " I have nothing farther to do with Luther ; he has hence- 
 forth another Judge, whose jurisdiction it is not lawful for 
 me to usurp. Know that I make no war with the dead, but 
 with the living, who still make war with me." He would 
 not, therefore, suffer his tomb to be demolished, and he for- 
 bade any attempt of that nature, upon pain of death. 
 
 Dr. Cheynell. — Such is the nature of bigotry and such 
 the evil of prejudice, that it insults the dead as well as the 
 living. Chillingworth's book, entitled "The Religion of 
 Protestants, a Safe Way to Salvation," is acknowledged to 
 be one of the most solid and rational defences of Protestant- 
 ism ever published. But such was Dr. Cheynell's preju- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 307 
 
 dice against it, that, when Chillingworth was buried, he came 
 to his grave with this book in his hand, and, after a short 
 preamble to the people, in which he assured them how happy- 
 it would be for the kingdom if this book and all its fellows 
 could be so buried that they might never rise more unless 
 it were for a confutation, " Get thee gone," said he, " thou 
 cursed book, which has seduced so many precious souls ; 
 get thee gone, thou corrupt, rotten book, earth to earth, dust 
 to dust, get thee gone into the place of rottenness, that thou 
 mayst rot with thy author, and see corruption." Poor doc- 
 tor ! how feeble thy efforts, how ineffectual thy wishes ! 
 Protestantism yet lives and flourishes, and we have reason 
 to believe it will live and extend itself in all directions ; and 
 for this reason, because it is the religion of the Bible and 
 the cause of truth. Enemies it may and will have, but, 
 " being divine, it is incapable of being wounded, and will, in 
 the issue, walk with a meek and godlike dignity over the 
 graves of her opponents, and finally triumph in the complete 
 blessedness of all her adherents." 
 
 Bigoted Hearer. — A person meeting another returning 
 after having heard a popular preacher, said to him, " Well, 
 I hope you have been highly gratified." " Indeed I have," 
 replied the other. " I wish I could have prevailed on you 
 to hear him : I am sure you would never have relished any 
 other preacher afterward." " Then," replied the wiser 
 Christian, " I am determined I never will hear him, for I 
 wish to hear such a preacher as will give me so high a relish 
 and esteem for the word of God, that I shall receive it with 
 greater eagerness and delight whenever it is delivered." 
 
 PRIDE. 
 
 (Related by Mr. Brydone) " At Bologna they showed us 
 the skeleton of a celebrated beauty, who died at a period of 
 life when she was still the object of universal admiration. 
 By way of making atonement for her own vanity, she be- 
 queathed herself as a monument to curb the vanity of others. 
 Recollecting on her deathbed the great adulation that had 
 been paid to her charms, and the fatal change they were soon 
 to undergo, she ordered that her body should be dissected 
 and her bones hung up for the inspection of all young maid- 
 ens who are inclined to be vain of their beauty." 
 
308 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Saladin the Great. — It is said of Saladin the Great, aftei 
 he had subdued Egypt, and passed the Euphrates, and con- 
 quered cities without number ; after he had retaken Jerusa- 
 lem, and performed exploits more than human in those wars 
 which superstition had stirred up for the recovery of the Holy 
 Land, he finished his life in the performance of an action 
 that ought to be transmitted to the most distant posterity. 
 
 A moment before he uttered his last sigh, he called the 
 herald who had carried his banner before him in all his bat- 
 tles ; he commanded him to fasten to the top of a lance the 
 shroud in which the dying prince was soon to be buried. 
 " Go," said he, " carry the lance, unfurl this banner ; and, 
 while you lift up this standard, proclaim, This, this is all that 
 remains to Saladin the Great (the conqueror and the king of 
 the empire) of all his glory." 
 
 " Christians," says Saurin, " I perform to-day the office of 
 this herald. I fasten to the staff of a spear sensual and in- 
 tellectual pleasures, worldly riches, and human honours. All 
 these I reduce to the price of crape in which you will be 
 shortly buried. This standard of death I lift up in your 
 sight, and I cry, This, this is all that will remain to you of 
 the possessions for which you exchanged your souls." 
 
 A Dervis. — A sultan, amusing himself with walking, ob- 
 served a dervis sitting with a human scull in his lap, and 
 appearing to be in a profound revery : his attitude and man- 
 ner surprised the sultan, who demanded the cause of his 
 being so deeply engaged in reflection. " Sire," said the der- 
 vis, " this scull was presented to me this morning; and I 
 have from that moment been endeavouring, in vain, to dis- 
 cover whether it is the scull of a powerful monarch like 
 your majesty or a poor dervis like myself." 
 
 A humbling consideration, truly ! 
 
 ENVY. 
 
 " Base envy withers at another's joy, 
 And hates that excellence it cannot reach." 
 
 Cambyses, king of Persia, slew his brother Smerdis out 
 of envy, because he could draw a stronger bow than him- 
 self or any of his followers ; and the monster Caligula slew 
 his brother because he was a beautiful young man. 
 
 Mutius, a citizen of Rome, was noted to be of such an 
 envious and malicious disposition, that Publius, one day ob- 
 serving him to be very sad, said, " Either some great evil is 
 happened to Mutius, or some great good to another." 
 
RELIGIOUS 309 
 
 " Dionysius the tyrant," says Plutarch, " out of envy, pun- 
 ished Philoxenius the musician because he could sing ; and 
 Plato the philosopher because he could dispute better than 
 himself." 
 
 Examples of Pride. — When one asked a philosopher 
 what the great God was doing, he replied, " His whole em- 
 ployment is to lift up the humble and to cast down the 
 proud." And, indeed, there is no one sin which the Al- 
 mighty seems more determined to punish than this. The 
 examples of God's displeasure against it are most strikingly 
 exhibited in the histories of Pharaoh, Hezekiah, Haman, 
 Nebuchadnezzar, and Herod. 
 
 One day, when Alcibiades was boasting of his wealth and 
 '.he great estates in his possession (which generally blow up 
 the pride of young people of quality), Socrates carried him 
 to a geographical map, and asked him to find Attica. It 
 was so small that it could scarcely be discerned upon the 
 draught ; he found it, however, though with some difficulty , 
 but, upon being desired to point out his own estate there, 
 " It is too small," says he, " to be distinguished in so little 
 a space." "See, then," replied Socrates, "how much you 
 are affected about an imperceptible point of land !" This 
 reasoning might have been urged much farther still. For 
 what was Attica compared to all Greece, Greece to Europe, 
 Europe to the whole world, and the whole world itself to 
 the vast extent of the infinite orbs which surround it ? 
 What an insect, what a nothing is the most powerful prince 
 of the earth in the midst of this abyss of bodies and immense 
 spaces, and how little of it does he occupy ! 
 
 Instability of Greatness. — A favourite of Ptolemy, 
 king of Egypt, had risen to so high a degree of honour that 
 he used to say he had but two discontentments in this life ; 
 the first was, that he could grow no greater, so great was he 
 already become ; and the second, that the king, with all his 
 revenues, seemed to him too poor to add any sensible in- 
 crease to his. Not many days after this the arrogant upstart 
 was detected by Ptolemy in a treacherous intrigue, con- 
 demned to be hung before his own door, and all his effects 
 confiscated. 
 
 The Great and the Small lie together. — Diogenes 
 was not in the wrong, who, when the great Alexander, find- 
 ing him in the charnel-house, asked him what he was seek- 
 
310 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ing for, answered, " I am seeking for your father's bones 
 and those of my slave; but I cannot find them, because 
 there is no difference between them." 
 
 COVETOUSNESS. 
 
 Achan's covetous humour made him steal that wedge of 
 gold which served to cleave his soul from God; it made 
 Judas betray Christ ; " what will ye give me, and I will de- 
 liver him unto you ?" It made Absalom attempt to pluck 
 the crown from his father's head. He that is a Demas 
 will soon prove a Judas. 2 Tim. hi., 2, " Men shall be cov- 
 etous ;" and it follows in the next verse, traitors. When 
 covetousness is in the premises, treason will be in the con- 
 clusion. Why did Ahab stone Naboth to death but to pos- 
 sess the vineyard ? 
 
 The covetous person bows down to the image of gold. 
 His money is his god, for he puts his trust in it. Money is 
 his creator; when he hath abundance of wealth, then he 
 thinks he is made : it is his redeemer ; if he be in any strait 
 or trouble, he flies to his money, and that must redeem him : 
 it is his comforter ; when he is sad, he tells over his money, 
 and with this golden harp he drives away the evil spirit : 
 when you see a covetous man, you may say there goes an 
 idolater. 
 
 In the parable, the thorn choked the seed. This is the 
 reason the word preached doth no more good ; the seed often 
 falls among thorns ; thousands of sermons lie buried in earthly 
 hearts. A covetous man hath a withered hand ; he cannot 
 reach it out' to clothe or feed such as are in want. 
 
 " Oh cursed lust of gold ! when for thy sake 
 The fool throws up his interest in both worlds, 
 First starved in this, then damn'd in that to come."' 
 
 Blair. 
 
 " Joshua," says Ambrose, " could stop the course of the 
 sun, but all his power could not stop the course of avarice. 
 The sun stood still, but avarice went on. Joshua obtained 
 a victory when the sun stood still ; but, when avarice was at 
 work, Joshua was defeated." 
 
 Mr.. Ostervald. — In December, 1790, died at Paris, 
 literally of want, Mr. Ostervald, a well-known banker. This 
 man felt the violence of the disease of avarice (for surely it 
 
RELIGIOUS. 311 
 
 is rather a disease than a passion of the mind) so strongly 
 that, within a few days of his death, no importunities could 
 induce him to buy a few pounds of meat for the purpose of 
 making a little soup for him. " Tis true," said he, " I should 
 not dislike the soup, but I have no appetite for the meat ; 
 what, then, is to become of that ?" At the time that he re- 
 fused this nourishment, for fear of being obliged to give away 
 two or three pounds of meat, there was tied round his neck 
 a silken bag which contained 800 assignats of 1000 livres 
 each. At his outset in life he drank a pint of beer, which 
 served him for supper, every night at a house much fre- 
 quented, from which he carried home all the bottle corks he 
 could come at : of these, in the course of eight years, he had 
 collected as many as sold for 12 louis d'ors ; a sum that 
 laid the foundation of his future fortune, the superstructure of 
 which was rapidly raised by his uncommon success in stock- 
 jobbing. He died possessed of 125,000/. sterling. 
 
 Constantine. — Constantine the Great, in order to re- 
 claim a miser, took a lance and marked out a space of 
 ground of the size of the human body, and told him, " Add 
 heap to heap, accumulate riches upon riches, extend the 
 bounds of your possessions, conquer the whole world, and 
 in a few days such a spot as this will be all you will have." 
 " I take this spear," says Saurin ; " I mark out this space 
 among you ; in a few days you will be worth no more than 
 this. Go to the tomb of the avaricious man ; go down and 
 see his coffin and his shroud ; in a few davs these may be 
 all you will have." 
 
 Mr. Elwes. — There have been few persons in whom 
 avarice has predominated more than in the late Mr. Elwes. 
 His mother, indeed, was excessively avaricious ; and though 
 she was left nearly 100,000/. by her husband, yet she abso- 
 lutely starved herself to death. Mr. Elwes seemed not less 
 wretched than his mother. At his house at Stoke, in Suf- 
 folk, if a window were broken, it was mended by a piece 
 of brown paper, or by patching it with a small bit of glass ; 
 and this had been done so frequently and in so many shapes, 
 that it would have puzzled a mathematician to say what fig- 
 ure they represented. To save fire, he would walk about 
 the remains of an old greenhouse, or sit with a servant in 
 the kitchen ! In the advance of the season his morning em- 
 ployment was to pick up chips, bones, or anything he could 
 find, and carry them home in his pocket for fire ! One day he 
 
312 ANECDOTES. 
 
 was surprised by a neighbouring gentleman in the act of pull- 
 ing down, with great difficulty, a crow's nest for this purpose ; 
 and when the gentleman wondered why he should give him- 
 self so much trouble, " Oh, sir," replied Elwes, " it is really 
 a shame that these creatures should do so ; do but see what 
 waste they make. They don't care how extravagant they 
 are." He would almost eat anything to save expense. At 
 a time when he was worth eight hundred thousand pounds 
 he would eat game at the last state of putrefaction, and meat 
 that no other person could touch ! As to his dress, anything 
 would do. He wore a wig for a fortnight which he had picked 
 up in a rut in the lane when riding with another gentleman. 
 His shoes he never suffered to be cleaned, lest they should 
 be worn out the sooner. As the infirmities of old. age, how- 
 ever, came upon him, he began to be more wretched. It is 
 said that he was heard frequently at midnight as if struggling 
 with some one in his chamber, and crying out, " I will keep 
 my money ; nobody shall rob me of my property." There 
 are many other remarkable circumstances related of him, 
 but what we have already quoted will afford a striking proof 
 of the vanity of sublunary things, and of the insufficiency of 
 riches to render mankind happy. 
 
 Daniel Dancer, Esq. — Daniel Dancer, Esq., was re- 
 markable for a miserly disposition. Lady Tempest was 
 the only person who had the least influence on this unfortu- 
 nate man. She had one day the pleasure of prevailing on 
 him to purchase a hat (having worn his own for thirteen 
 years) from a Jew for a shilling; but, to her great surprise, 
 when she called the next day, she saw the old chapeau still 
 covered his head ! On inquiry it was found that, after 
 much solicitation, he had prevailed on old Griffiths, his ser- 
 vant, to purchase the hat for eighteen pence, which Mr. 
 Dancer bought the day before for a shilling ! He generally, 
 in severe weather, laid in bed to keep himself warm ; to 
 light a fire he thought expensive, though he had 3000/. per 
 annum, besides immense riches! He never took snuff, for 
 that was extravagant, but he always carried a snuffbox ' 
 This probably he would fill in the course of a month by 
 pinches obtained from others ! When the box was full he 
 would barter the contents for a farthing candle at a neigh- 
 bouring green grocer's ; this candle was made to last till the 
 box was again full, as he never suffered any light in his 
 house except while he was going to bed. He seldom 
 washed his face and hands but when the sun shone forth , 
 
RELIGIOUS. 313 
 
 then he would betake himself to a neighbouring pool, and 
 used sand instead of soap ; when he was washed he would 
 lie on his back, and dry himself in the sun, as he never used 
 a towel, for that would wear, and, when dirty, the washing 
 was expensive. Since his death there have been jugs of 
 dollars and shillings found in the stable. At the dead of 
 night he has been known to go to this place, but for what 
 purpose even Old Griffiths could not tell ; but it now ap- 
 pears that he used to rob one jug to add to the other. 
 
 Three Misers. — Sir Harvey Elwes, the miser, notwith- 
 standing his dislike of society, was a member of a club 
 which occasionally met at his own village of Stoke, and to 
 which belonged two other baronets besides himself, Sir 
 Cordwell Firebras and Sir John Barnardiston. With these 
 three, though all rich, the reckoning was always a subject 
 of the minutest investigation. One day, when they were en- 
 gaged in settling this difficult point, a wag, who was a mem- 
 ber, called out to a friend that was passing, " For Heaven's 
 sake step up stairs and assist the poor ! Here are three 
 baronets, worth a million of money, quarrelling about a far- 
 thing." 
 
 Petersbxjrgh Miser. — A Russian merchant, who was 
 so immensely rich that on one occasion he lent the Empress 
 Catharine the Second a million of rubles, used to live in a 
 small, obscure room at St. Petersburgh, with scarcely any' 
 fire, furniture, or attendants, though his house was larger 
 than many palaces. He buried his money in casks in the 
 cellar, and was so great a miser that he barely allowed him- 
 self the common necessaries of life. He placed his princi- 
 pal security in a large dog of singular fierceness, which used 
 to protect the premises by barking nearly the whole of the 
 night. At length the dog died ; when the master, either 
 impelled by his avarice from buying another dog, or fearing 
 that he might not meet with one which he could so well de- 
 pend on, adopted the singular method of performing the 
 canine service himself, by going his rounds every evening, 
 and barking as well and as loud as he could, in imitation of 
 his faithful sentinel. 
 
 Vandille. — M. Vandille was the most remarkable man 
 in Paris, both on account of his immense riches and his ex- 
 treme avarice. He lodged as high up as the roof would 
 admit, to avoid noise or visits ; maintained one poor old 
 
 Rr 14 
 
314 ANECDOTES. 
 
 woman to attend him in his garret, and allowed her only 
 seven sous per week, or a half-penny per day. 
 
 His usual diet was bread and milk; and, by way of in- 
 dulgence, some poor sour wine on a Sunday. This prudent 
 economist had been a magistrate or officer at Boulogne, 
 from which obscurity he was promoted to Paris for the 
 reputation of his wealth, which he lent upon undeniable se- 
 curity to the public funds, not caring to trust individuals 
 with what constituted all his happiness. While a magistrate 
 at* Boulogne, he maintained himself by taking upon him to 
 be milk-taster-general at the market, and from one to another 
 filled his belly and washed down his bread without expense 
 to himself. 
 
 A Covetous Bishop. — John Cameron, bishop of Glasgow, 
 was so given to covetousness, extortion, violence, and op- 
 pression, especially upon his own tenants and vassals, that 
 he would scarcely afford them bread to eat or clothes to 
 cover their nakedness. But the night before Christmas-day, 
 and in the midst of all his cruelties, as he lay in his bed at 
 his house in Lockwood, he heard a voice summoning him 
 to appear before the tribunal of Christ, and give an account 
 of his actions. Being terrified with this notice and the 
 pangs of a guilty conscience, he called up his servants, com- 
 manding them to bring lights and stay in the room with him. 
 He himself took a book in his hand and began to read ; but 
 the voice, being heard a second time, struck all the servants 
 with horror. The same voice repeating the summons a 
 third time, and with a louder and more dreadful accent, the 
 bishop, after a lamentable and frightful groan, was found 
 dead in his bed, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, 
 a dreadful spectacle to all beholders. This relation is made 
 by the celebrated historian Buchanan, who records it as a 
 remarkable example of God's judgment against the sin of 
 oppression. 
 
 Fair Award. — A peasant once entered the hall of justice 
 at Florence at the time that Alexander, duke of Tuscany, 
 was presiding. He stated that he had the good fortune to 
 find a purse of sixty ducats ; and learning that it belonged 
 to Friuli the merchant, who offered a reward of ten ducats 
 to the finder, he restored it to him, but that he had refused 
 the promised reward. The duke instantly ordered Friuli to 
 be summoned into his presence, and questioned why he re- 
 fused the reward. The merchant replied "that he con 
 
RELIGIOUS. 315 
 
 ceived the peasant had paid himself ; for although, when he 
 gave notice of his loss, he said this purse only contained 
 sixty ducats, it in fact had seventy in it." The duke inquired 
 if this mistake was discovered before the purse was found. 
 Friuli answered in the negative. " Then," said the duke, 
 " as I have a very high opinion of the honesty of this peasant', 
 I am induced to believe that there is indeed a mistake in 
 this transaction ; for as the purse you lost had in it seventy 
 ducats, and this which he found contains sixty only, it is 
 impossible that it can be the same." He then gave the 
 purse to the peasant, and promised to protect him against all 
 future claimants. 
 
 Avaricious Characters. — The greatest endowments of 
 the mind, the greatest abilities in a profession, and even 
 the quiet possession of an immense treasure, will never pre- 
 vail against avarice. My Lord-chancellor Hardwick, when 
 worth eight hundred thousand pounds, set the same value 
 on half a crown then as when he was worth only one hun- 
 dred pounds. That great captain, the Duke of Marlborough, 
 when he was in the last stage of life and very infirm, would 
 walk from the public rooms in Bath to his lodgings in a 
 cold, dark night, to save sixpence in chair-hire. He died 
 worth more than a million and a half sterling, which was 
 inherited by a grandson of Lord Trevor's, who had been 
 one of his enemies. Sir James Lowther, after changing a 
 piece of silver and paying twopence for a dish of coffee in 
 George's coffeehouse, was helped into his chariot (for he 
 was then very lame and infirm), and went home ; some little 
 time after he returned to the same coffeehouse on purpose 
 to acquaint the woman who kept it that she had given him 
 a bad halfpenny, and demanded another in exchange for it. 
 Sir James had about forty thousand pounds per annum, and 
 was at a loss whom to appoint his heir. I knew one Sir 
 Thomas Colby, who lived at Kensington, and was, I think, 
 a commissioner in the victualling office ; he killed himself 
 by rising in the night when he was under the effect of a su- 
 dorific, and going down stairs to look for the key of his cel- 
 lar, which he had inadvertently left on a table in his parlour ; 
 he was apprehensive his servants might seize the key and 
 deprive him of a bottle of wine. This man died intestate, 
 and left more than two hundred thousand pounds in the funds, 
 which was shared among five or six day-labourers, who 
 were his nearest relatives. — Dr. Kinsfs Anecdotes. 
 
316 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Vanity of the World. — Charles V., emperor of Ger- 
 many, king of Spain, and lord of the Netherlands, was born 
 at Ghent in the year 1500. He is said to have fought sixty 
 battles, in most of which he was victorious ; to have obtained 
 six triumphs ; conquered four kingdoms ; and to have added 
 eight principalities to his dominions ; an almost unparalleled 
 instance of worldly prosperity and the greatness of human 
 glory. But all these fruits of his ambition and all the hon- 
 ours that attended him could not yield him true and solid 
 satisfaction. Reflecting on the evils and miseries which he 
 had occasioned, and convinced of the emptiness of earthly 
 magnificence, he became disgusted with all the splendour 
 that surrounded him, and thought it his duty to withdraw 
 from it, and spend the rest of his days in religious retirement. 
 Accordingly, he voluntarily resigned all his dominions to his 
 brother and son ; and after taking an affectionate and last 
 farewell of his son and a numerous retinue of princes and 
 nobility that respectfully attended him, he repaired to his 
 chosen retreat, which was situated in a vale in Spain of no 
 great extent, watered by a small brook, and surrounded with 
 rising grounds covered with lofty trees. A deep sense of 
 his frail condition and great imperfection appears to have 
 impressed his mind in this extraordinary resolution and 
 through the remainder of his life. As soon as he landed in 
 Spain he fell prostrate on the ground, and, considering him- 
 self now as dead to the world, he kissed the earth, and said, 
 " Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked I now 
 return to thee, thou common mother of mankind !" 
 
 It was a good speech of an emperor, " You," said he, 
 " gaze on my purple robe and golden crown ; but, did you 
 know what cares are under it, you would not take it up from 
 the ground to have it." It was a true saying of Augustine, 
 " Many are miserable by loving hurtful things ; but they are 
 more miserable by having them." 
 
 INFLUENCE OF EXAMPLE. 
 
 Jewel. — Such is the force of example, that even our 
 enemies are sometimes penetrated with admiration, and con- 
 strained to bear testimony in our favour. It is observed of 
 Bishop Jewel, that his affability of behaviour and sanctity of 
 life made a fierce and bigoted papist sometimes say to him, 
 " I should love thee, Jewel, if thou wert not a Zuingliau. In 
 
RELIGIOUS. 317 
 
 thy faith thou art a heretic ; but, surely, in thy life thou art 
 an angel. Thou art very good and honest, but a Lutheran." 
 
 Hooker. — It is mentioned as an amiable part of the char 
 acter of the judicious Mr. Hooker, that he used to say, " If 
 I had no other reason and motive for being religious, I would 
 strive earnestly to be so for the sake of my aged mother, 
 that I may requite her care of me, and cause the widow's 
 heart to sing for joy.' 7 
 
 The Pious Moravian. — In a late war in Germany, a 
 captain of cavalry was ordered out on a foraging party. He 
 put himself at the head of his troop, and marched to the 
 quarter assigned him. It was a solitary valley, in which 
 hardly anything but woods could be seen. In the midst of 
 it stood a little cottage ; on perceiving it he went up and 
 knocked at the door : out comes an ancient Hernouten 
 (better known in this country by the name of Moravian 
 Brethren), with a beard silvered by age. " Father," says 
 the officer, " show me a field where I can set my troopers a 
 foraging." " Presently," replied the Hernouten. The good 
 old man walked before, and conducted them out of the valley. 
 After a quarter of an hour's march they found a fine field 
 of barley. " There is the very thing we want," says the 
 captain. " Have patience for a few minutes," replied his 
 guide: "you shall be satisfied." They went on, and, at 
 the distance of about a quarter of a league farther, they ar- 
 rived at another field of barley. The troop immediately dis- 
 mounted, cut down the grain, trussed it up, and remounted. 
 The officer, upon this, says to his conductor, " Father, you 
 have given yourself and us unnecessary trouble : the first 
 field was much better than this." " Very true, sir," replied 
 the good old man, "but it was not mine." This stroke 
 (says my author, and that justly) goes directly to the heart. 
 I defy an Atheist to produce me anything once to be compared 
 with it. And surely he who does not feel his heart warmed 
 by such an example of exalted virtue has not yet acquired 
 the first principles of moral taste. 
 
 Lady H. — Lady H. once spoke to a workman who was 
 repairing a garden wall, and pressed him to take some thought 
 concerning eternity and the state of his soul. Some years 
 afterward she was speaking to another on the same subject, 
 and said to him, " Thomas, I fear you never pray, nor look 
 to Christ for salvation." "Your ladyship is mistaken," an- 
 
318 ANECDOTES. 
 
 swered the man. " I heard what passed between you and 
 James at such a time, and the word you designed for him 
 took effect on me." " How did you hear it ?" " I heard it 
 on the other side of the garden, through a hole in the wall, 
 and shall never forget the impression I received." 
 
 The Pugilists. — A serious young man in the army, not 
 having a place in the barracks in which he was quartered 
 wherein to pour out his soul unto God in secret, went one 
 dark night into a large field adjoining. Here he thought no 
 eye could see or ear hear him but God's ; but He " whose 
 thoughts are not as our thoughts" ordained otherwise. Two 
 ungodly men belonging to the same regiment, in whose 
 hearts enmity had long subsisted against each other, were 
 resolved that night to end it, as they said, by a battle, being 
 prevented at daytime for fear of punishment. They chose 
 the same field to fight as the other had chosen to pray. Now 
 the field was very large, and they might have taken different 
 ways ; but they were led by Providence to the same spot 
 where the young man was engaged in this delightful exercise. 
 They were surprised at hearing, as they thought, a voice in 
 the field at that time of night, and much more so when they 
 drew nearer and heard a man at prayer. They halted and 
 gave attention ; and, wonderful to tell, the prayer had such 
 an effect upon both as to turn that enmity they before mani- 
 fested against each other into love. They took each other 
 instantly by the hand, and cordially confessed that there re- 
 mained no longer in either of their breasts hatred against 
 each other. 
 
 Good Examples Neglected. — The Rhodians and Lyd- 
 lans enacted laws, that those sons which followed not their 
 fathers in their virtues, but imitated vicious examples, should 
 be disinherited, and their lands given to the most virtuous 
 of that race, not admitting any impious heir to inherit; and 
 do you think that God will not disinherit all those of heaven 
 and happiness who follow vicious examples 1 Assuredly he 
 will. 
 
 Precepts instruct us what things are our duty, but ex- 
 amples assure us that they are practicable. They resemble 
 a clear stream, wherein we may not only discover our spots, 
 but wash them off. When we see men like ourselves, who 
 are united to frail flesh, and in the same condition with us 
 commanding their passions, overcoming the most glorious 
 and glittering temptations, we are encouraged in our spiritual 
 welfare. 
 
RELIGIOUS. 319 
 
 Examples, by a secret and lively incentive, urge us to 
 imitation. The Romans kept in their houses pictures of 
 their progenitors, to animate their spirits and stimulate them 
 to follow the precedents set before them. We are sensibly 
 affected by the visible practice of saints, which reproaches 
 our defects, and obliges us to the same care and zeal more 
 than by laws, though both holy and good. Now the ex- 
 ample of Christ is more proper to form us for holiness ; it 
 being absolutely perfect, and accommodated to our present 
 state. 
 
 When Seneca received the message of death from Nero, 
 he heard it with firmness and even with joy. He wished 
 to dispose of his possessions as he pleased, but this was re- 
 fused ; and when he heard it, he turned to his friends who 
 were weeping at his melancholy fate, and told them that, 
 since he could not leave them what he believed to be his own, 
 he would leave them at least " his own life for an example !" 
 An innocent conduct which they might imitate, and by which 
 they might acquire immortal fame. Happy are they who, 
 if they can leave nothing else to posterity, can leave them a 
 good example ! This has sometimes proved a legacy more 
 enriching and useful than the best bequest of untold wealth 
 or the most valuable treasures. 
 
 EFFICACY OF PRAYER. 
 
 Mr. Flavel. — Mr. Flavel, driven by persecution from 
 Dartmouth, took shipping for London. When the vessel 
 was nigh the Isle of Portland, they were overtaken with 
 so violent a storm that the mariners were all of opinion they 
 could not possibly escape shipwreck unless the wind should 
 change. At this juncture Mr. Flavel requested them to join 
 with him in prayer; and he accordingly committed himself 
 and them to the Providence of God. As soon as prayer 
 was ended the wind altered favourably, and one of the crew 
 came down from the deck, shouting, "Deliverance ! God 
 is a prayer-hearing God !" Mr. Flavel reached London in 
 safety, and died in tranquillity many years afterward. 
 
 A Pious Youth. — In the Duchy of Magdeburg, a part 
 of the German dominions of the King of Prussia, one of the 
 royal gamekeepers, a man who lived and brought up his 
 family in the fear of God, fell very dangerously sick. His 
 
320 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ■wife, with all his children, who were still in their infancy, sur- 
 rounded the bed of the apparently dying man and wept bit- 
 terly. One of the boys retired secretly into a summer-house 
 in the garden, knelt down, and prayed fervently in these 
 words : " Gracious God ! do not let my father die yet; let 
 him live at least till I am fourteen years old." He rose com- 
 forted from his knees, entered the room, and found his father 
 quite altered. The father recovered completely, lived till 
 the boy attained exactly the age of fourteen years, and then 
 died. 
 
 Mr. Longdon. — A person came to him one day and said, 
 " Mr. Longdon, I have something against you, and I am 
 come to tell you of it." " Do walk in, sir," he replied ; " you 
 are my best friend : if I could but engage my friends to be 
 faithful with me, I should be sure to prosper: but, if you 
 please, we will both pray in the first place, and ask the bless- 
 ing of God upon our interview." After they rose from 
 their knees, and had been much blessed together, he said, 
 "Now I will thank you, my brother, to tell me what it is 
 that you have against me." " Oh," said the man, " I really 
 don't know what it is ; it is all gone, and I believe I was in 
 the wrong." 
 
 Frederic — Frederic, elector of Saxony, intending to 
 war against the Archbishop of Magdeburg, sent a spy to in- 
 quire into his preparations ; and being informed that he gave 
 himself up to prayer and fasting, committing his cause to 
 God alone, "Let him fight him that will," said he; "I am 
 not mad enough to fight with the man who makes God his 
 refuge and defence." 
 
 Mr. Tnce. — Though the following instance of the praying 
 Ince has often been read, and perhaps as often told, yet, as 
 there may be some into whose hands this work may fall who 
 have never read or heard it, we shall here insert it. Not 
 long after the year 1662, Mr. Grove, a gentleman of great 
 opulence, whose seat was near Birdbush, upon his wife's 
 lying dangerously ill, sent to his parish minister to pray 
 with her. When the messenger came he was just going 
 out with the hounds, and sent word he would come when the 
 hunt was over. At Mr. Grove's expressing much resent- 
 ment against the minister for choosing rather to follow his 
 diversions than attend his wife under the circumstances in 
 which she then lay, one of the servants said, " Sir, our shep- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 321 
 
 herd, if you will send for him, can pray very well ; we have 
 often heard him at prayer in the field." Upon this he was 
 immediately sent for ; and Mr. Grove asking him " whether 
 he ever did or could pray," the shepheid fixed his eyes 
 upon him, and, with peculiar seriousness in his countenance, 
 replied, " God forbid, sir, I should live one day without 
 prayer." Hereupon he was desired to pray with the sick 
 lady, which he did so pertinently to her case, with such flu- 
 ency and fervency of devotion, as greatly to astonish the 
 husband and all present. When they arose from their knees 
 the gentleman addressed him to this effect : " Your language 
 and manner discover you to be a very different person from 
 what your present appearance indicates. I conjure you to 
 inform me who and what you are, and what were your views 
 in life before you came into my service." Whereupon he 
 told him " he was one of the ministers who had lately been 
 ejected from the church, and that, having nothing of his own 
 left, he was content, for a livelihood, to submit to the honest 
 and peaceful employment of tending sheep." Upon hearing 
 this Mr. Grove said, " Then you shall be my shepherd," and 
 immediately erected a meeting-house on his own estate, in 
 which Mr. Ince preached and gathered a congregation of 
 Dissenters. 
 
 Dr. Franklin on Prayer. — When the American Con- 
 vention was framing their constitution, Dr. Franklin asked 
 them how it happened that, while groping, as it were, in the 
 dark to find political truth, they had not once thought of 
 humbly applying to the Father of lights to illumine their un- 
 derstandings. " I have lived, sir," said he, " a long time, 
 and the longer I live the more convincing proofs I see of 
 this truth, that God governs in the affairs of men ; and if 
 a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it 
 probable that an empire can rise without his aid ? We have 
 been assured, sir, in the Sacred Writings, that, except the 
 Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it. I 
 firmly believe this ; and I also believe that without his con- 
 curring aid we shall succeed in this political building no 
 better than the builders of Babel. We shall be divided by 
 our little partial local interests ; our project will be con- 
 founded ; and we ourselves become a reproach and a by- 
 word down to future ages." He then moved that prayers 
 should be performed in that assembly every morning before 
 they proceeded to business. 
 
 Ss 
 
322 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Family Prayer. — While it is our duty personally to ded 
 icate ourselves to God, our families also should not be neg- 
 lected. But, alas ! how much degenerated are we in this 
 respect ? " In the days of our fathers," says good Bishop 
 Burnet, " when a person came early to the door of his neigh- 
 bour, and desired to speak with the master of the house, it 
 was as common a thing for the servants to tell him with 
 freedom, ' My master is at prayer,' as it is now to say, ' My 
 master is not up.' " 
 
 The following instance may teach us that family devotion 
 may be attended to even by those who are in dignified and 
 public situations. Sir Thomas Abney kept up regular pray- 
 er in his family during all the time he was lord-mayor of 
 London ; and in the evening of the day he entered on his 
 office, he, without any notice, withdrew from the public as- 
 sembly at Guildhall after supper, went to his house, there 
 performed family worship, and then returned to the company. 
 
 Private Prayer. — "Acknowledge the Lord in all thy 
 ways, and he shall direct thy paths." — Prov. An English 
 clergyman, preaching from this text, observed as follows : 
 
 " Archbishop Cranmer, who died a martyr, said that the 
 day he signed his recantation back to popery he omitted 
 private prayer in the morning. This brought to my recol- 
 lection the two memorable occurrences of my life when I 
 omitted private prayer and went to my business. On each 
 day I had an accident that nearly cost me my life; but in 
 mercy I was spared to my family. Private prayer is a high 
 privilege. I cannot neglect it any more than I can neglect 
 my food. It is my grand stay for each day ; and I feel 
 that, unless I acknowledge God herein, I have no right to 
 expect his guidance and protection." 
 
 PARTICULAR PROVIDENCES. 
 
 Preaching for Diversion. — It is said of a Mr. T. and 
 three of his associates, that, to enliven the company, they 
 once undertook to mimic a celebrated preacher. The prop- 
 osition was highly gratifying to all the parties present, and 
 a wager agreed upon to inspire each individual with a de- 
 sire of excelling in this impious attempt. That the jovial 
 auditors might adjudge the prize to the most adroit perform- 
 er, it was concluded that each should open the Bible and 
 hold forth from the first verse that should present itself to 
 
RELIGIOUS. 323 
 
 his eye. Accordingly, three in their turn mounted the table, 
 and entertained their wicked companions at the expense of 
 everything sacred. When they had exhausted their little 
 stock of buffoonery, it devolved on Mr. T. to close this very 
 irreverent scene. Much elated and confident of success, he 
 exclaimed as he ascended the table, " I shall beat you all !" 
 But, oh ! the stupenduous depth of Divine mercy ! Who 
 would conceive that a gracious Providence should have pre- 
 sided over such an assembly, and that this should be the 
 time of heavenly love to one of the most outrageous mock- 
 ers. Mr. T., when the Bible was handed to him, had not 
 the slightest preconception what part of the Scripture he 
 should make the subject of his banter. However, by the 
 guidance of an unerring Providence, it opened at the follow- 
 ing passage, Luke xiii., 3 : "Except ye repent, ye shall all 
 likewise perish." No sooner had he uttered the words than 
 his mind was affected in a very extraordinary manner ; the 
 sharpest pangs of conviction now seized him, and conscience 
 denounced tremendous vengeance upon his soul. In a mo- 
 ment he was favoured with a clear view of his subject, and 
 divided his discourse more like a divine who had been ac- 
 customed to speak on portions of Scripture than like one 
 who never so much as thought on religious topics except 
 for the purpose of ridicule. 
 
 He found no deficiency of matter, no want of utterance ; 
 and we have frequently heard him declare, "If ever I 
 preached in my life by the assistance of the Spirit of God, 
 it was at that time." The impression that the subject made 
 upon his own mind had such an effect upon his manner, 
 that the most ignorant and profane could not but perceive 
 that what he had spoken was with the greatest sincerity. 
 
 Conversion of a Wicked Master. — A young woman- 
 servant at Bath was brought to the knowledge of God in the 
 year 1788. She, like the woman of Samaria, could not help 
 speaking of the things she had heard and experienced to her 
 fellow-servants, and the Lord was pleased to accompany her 
 words with a Divine blessing to three or four of them ; the 
 coachman, in particular, was turned away from his service, 
 for fear, as his master said, that he would turn his horses 
 Methodists, and drive him to hell. In the summer of 1793, 
 the master himself being taken ill and given over by the 
 physicians, one day he asked them if there was any hope of 
 his recovery. They replied in the negative. Several of 
 his friends were in the room at the same time and the ser- 
 
324 ANEC. DOTES. 
 
 vant before mentioned was there waiting upon the company. 
 The gentleman, with great concern, said, "And can none of 
 you all be of any service to a dying man?" He then spoke 
 to this young woman : " Nor can you help me in this pres- 
 ent sad condition ?" She replied, " Sir, all that I can do 
 is to pray for you, and that I have done many times." He 
 answered, with some emotion, " Did you ever pray for me ? 
 I insist on it that you pray for me now. Shut the door ; let 
 not one go out of the room." With fear and trembling she 
 obeyed ; and no sooner was prayer ended, than, putting his 
 hands together, he said, " Now I know that Christ is God, 
 and able to forgive my sins." He lived a few days longer, 
 and gave happy evidence of the power and grace of God. 
 
 The Youth Restored. — A young gentleman being re- 
 proved by his mother for being religious, made her this an- 
 swer : " 1 am resolved by all means to save my soul." Some 
 time after he fell into a lukewarm state, during which time 
 he was sick and nigh unto death. One night he dreamed 
 that he saw himself summoned before God's angry throne, 
 and from thence hurried into a place of torments ; where, see 
 ing his mother full of scorn, she upbraided him with his for- 
 mer answer ; why he did not save his soul by all means. This 
 was so much impressed on his mind when he awoke, that, 
 under God, it became the means of his turning again to him ; 
 and when anybody asked him the reason why he became 
 again religious, he gave them no other answer than this : 
 " If I could not in my dream endure my mother's upbraid- 
 ing my folly and lukewarmness, how shall I be able to suf- 
 fer that God should call me to an account in the last day, 
 and the angels reproach my lukewarmness, and the devil ag- 
 gravate my sins, and all the saints of God deride my folly 
 and hypocrisy ?" 
 
 The Faithful Minister. — The Rev. Mr. Gould, late 
 rector of Axbridge, a town in Somersetshire, had, in the 
 earlier part of his life, been preaching the doctrine of the 
 New Birth in such very forcible language as to give offence 
 to three neighbouring clergymen, insomuch that they lodged 
 a complaint against him to the bishop, who appointed a day 
 for the private hearing of all parties. The first of these com- 
 plainants fell sick, and died in a fortnight. The second 
 wailed on the third to acquaint him with the misfortune ; and, 
 as he was returning home, received a particular injury from 
 a sudden jolt of his horse, of which he died in a week. The 
 
RELIGIOUS. 325 
 
 third persisted in attending the bishop ; but, before he came 
 to Wells, his horse threw him and broke his neck. Mr. 
 Gould appeared alone, and the bishop presented him with 
 the rectory of Axbridge, which he enjoyed upward of thirty 
 years. 
 
 Another. — Mr. Thoroughgood, who was elected from 
 Monkton in Kent, was a bold reprover of sin. He had once 
 preached so pointedly against the vice of swearing, that one 
 of his hearers, addicted to it, thought himself to be particu- 
 larly intended, and was so exasperated that he resolved to 
 kill the minister. He accordingly hid himself behind a hedge 
 in the way which Mr. Thoroughgood usually look in going 
 to preach his weekly lecture. When he came up to the 
 place, the man who intended to shoot him levelled his gun 
 and attempted to fire at him ; but it only flashed in the pan. 
 The next week he went to the same place to renew his at- 
 tempt ; but the very same event happened. The man's con- 
 science immediately smote him ; he went after Mr. Thor- 
 oughgood, fell on his knees, and, with tears in his eyes, re- 
 lated his design to him and asked his forgiveness. Thus 
 Providence was the means of the man's conversion. 
 
 The Bible a Shield for Soul and Body. — When Ol- 
 iver Cromwell entered upon the command of the parlia- 
 ment's army against Charles J., he ordered all his soldiers 
 to carry a Bible in their pockets. Among the rest there 
 was a wild, wicked young fellow, who ran away from his 
 apprenticeship in London for the sake of plunder and dissi- 
 pation. This fellow was obliged to be in the fashion. Being 
 one day ordered out upon a skirmishing party or to attack 
 some fortress, he returned back to his quarters in the even- 
 ing without hurt. When he was going to bed, pulling the 
 Bible out of his pocket, he observed a hole in it. His curi- 
 osity led him to trace the depth of this hole into his Bible ; 
 he found a bullet was gone as far as Ecclesiastes xi., 9. 
 He read the verse, ''Rejoice, oh young man, in thy youth, 
 and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and 
 walk in the ways of thy heart, and in the sight of thine eyes ; 
 but know thou that for all these things God will bring thee 
 into judgment." The words were set home upon his heart 
 by the Divine Spirit, so that he became a sound believer in 
 the Lord Jesus Christ, and lived in London many years after 
 the civil wars were over. He used pleasantly to observe to 
 Dr. Evans, author of the Christian Temper, that the Bible 
 was the means of saving bojh his soul and body. 
 
326 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Mr. Heywood. — Mr. Heywood, being brought into the 
 greatest want of the necessaries of life, told his wife one day 
 that he would leave with her and the children three shillings, 
 which was all the money he had in the world, and would try 
 to get some work as a day-labourer. After commending 
 them to God and praying for divine direction, he called at a 
 number of houses the first day, but could not meet with any 
 employment. He spent the first night in a barn, and was 
 engaged in prayer the greatest part of it. In the morning 
 
 he again set out, and soon arrived at Lord 's, where he 
 
 inquired of the servants if a labourer was wanted. They 
 answered ' No." As he was returning, however, from the 
 hall, one of the servant-girls said the shepherd had just be- 
 fore left his place, and if he understood how to take care of 
 sheep, she thought he might meet with employment. Mr. 
 Heywood immediately engaged in the service, and was in- 
 formed he was to sleep in a little cot erected for the shep- 
 herds at some distance from the house ; but that he was to 
 come once a day for what he wanted to the hall. A few 
 mornings after, two of the servant girls, apparently by acci- 
 dent, rose two hours before the usual time, and as there was 
 no one at hand to fetch up the cows, they went into the field 
 for them ; but when they drew near to the shepherd's hut, 
 they were struck with the sound of a man's voice, and, to 
 their no small astonishment, found it was that of the shep- 
 herd engaged in prayer to God. At this they were much 
 affected, and for several weeks, unknown to Mr. Heywood, 
 they used to rise at four o'clock to go to the cot to hear the 
 shepherd pray, which exercise he w r as engaged in every morn- 
 ing until five o'clock. After Mr. Heywood had been in this 
 situation a few weeks, the lady of the family was taken ill and 
 was expected to die. A clergyman was sent for, but was that 
 moment mounting his horse with a view to spend the day in 
 hunting. However, he sent his compliments, and said that 
 
 he would wait on her ladyship that evening. Lord 
 
 seemed much distressed, and expressed an earnest desire 
 to get some one to pray with his lady. Then one of the 
 servants, who had listened to Mr. Heywood's prayers, said, 
 " I wish your lordship would consent to let your shepherd 
 be fetched to pray with her ladyship," adding, " for I do not 
 believe there is a man in the world who can pray like him." 
 "The shepherd pray? What! can the shepherd pray?" 
 " Yes, my lord, and I wish you would condescend to let him 
 be sent for ; and then you will hear him yourself." Mr 
 Heywood was immediately called, and his lordship asked 
 
RELIGIOUS. 327 
 
 him if he could pray ; to which he replied, " That man that 
 cannot pray is not fit to live !" " Well," says his lordship, 
 "follow me and pray for my lady, who is at the point of death." 
 After a few words spoken to her ladyship, Mr. Heywood 
 poured out his soul to that God whose he was and whom he 
 served, and immediately his prayer was answered ; for, with 
 astonishment, she cried out, " Is this a man or an angel ? for 
 
 I am quite well !" When prayer was concluded, Lord 
 
 asked him whether he was not one of the ejected ministers, 
 and Mr. Heywood acknowledged that he was. His lordship 
 then declared that, from that moment, instead of being em- 
 ployed as the shepherd of his sheep, he should be the shep- 
 herd of his soul and of the souls of his household. 
 
 An Illustration of a Special Providence and of the 
 Power of Prayer. — Captain H. and crew sailed some time 
 
 since from the port of . After having been at sea for 
 
 several days they were assailed by an unusually severe 
 storm, which continued forty-five days and nights in suc- 
 cession. They were driven far from their course by the 
 violence of the wind. Nature had become nearly exhausted 
 by hard and long toiling ; and, to add to their affliction, fam- 
 ine began to threaten them with a death far more appalling 
 than that of a watery grave. 
 
 The captain had with him his wife, two daughters, and 
 ten persons besides. As their provisions grew short, his 
 wife became provident and careful of the pittance that fell 
 to their family share. She would eat but little lest her hus- 
 band should starve. The children would eat but little for 
 fear the mother would suffer, and the captain refused to eat 
 any, but left his portion for his suffering family. At length 
 they were reduced to a scanty allowance for twenty-four 
 hours, in the midst of a storm and one thousand miles from 
 land. Captain H. was a man who feared God. In this his 
 extremity he ordered his steward to bring the remaining 
 provision on deck, and spread the same on the tarpawling 
 which covers the hatch ; and, falling down beside the frag- 
 ments of bread and meat before him, he lifted up his voice 
 in prayer to Him who heareth out of the deep, and said, 
 " thou who didst feed Elijah by a raven while in the 
 wilderness, and who commanded that the widow's cruse of 
 oil and barrel of meal should not fail, look down upon us in 
 our present distress, and grant that this food may be so mul- 
 tiplied that the lives now in jeopardy may be preserved." 
 Aiter this he arose from his knees, went to the companion 
 
328 ANECDOTES. 
 
 way, and found his wife and children engaged in the same 
 holy exercise. He exhorted them to pray on, and assured 
 them that God had answered his prayer, and that not one 
 soul then on board should perish. Scarcely had he uttered 
 these words when his mate, who had been at the masthead 
 for some time on the look-out, exclaimed, " Sail ahoy, sail 
 ahoy." At this crisis the captain shouted with swelling grat- 
 itude, " What, has God sent the ravens already !" and in one 
 hour from that time, through the friendly sail, barrels of 
 bread and meat were placed upon the deck. 
 
 u Thus one thing secures us, whatever betide, 
 The Scripture assures us the Lord will provide. 
 
 Nautical Anecdote. — A careless sailor, on going to sea, 
 replied to his religious brother in words like these : " Tom, 
 you talk a great deal about religion and Providence ; and if 
 I should be wrecked, and a ship was to heave in sight and 
 take me off, I suppose you would call it a merciful Provi- 
 dence. It's all very well, but I believe no such thing ; these 
 things happen like other things, by mere chance, and you 
 call it Providence, that's all." He went upon his voyage, 
 and the case he put hypothetically was soon literally true ; 
 he was wrecked, and remained upon the wreck three days, 
 when a ship appeared, and, seeing their signal of distress, 
 came to their relief. He returned, and, in relating it, said to 
 his brother, " Oh ! Tom, when that ship hove in sight, my 
 words to yon came in a moment into my mind ; it was like 
 a bolt of thunder. I have never got rid of it, and now I 
 think it no more than an act of common gratitude to give my- 
 self up to Him who pitied and saved me." — Marin. Mag. 
 
 Submission to God's Providence. — A Mr. Lawrence, 
 who was a sufferer for conscience' sake, if he would have 
 consulted with flesh and blood, as was said of one of the 
 martyrs, had eleven good arguments against suffering, viz., 
 a wife and ten children. Being once asked how he meant 
 to maintain them all, he cheerfully replied, " They must all 
 live on Matthew vi., 34 : ' Take, therefore, no thought for 
 the morrow,' " &c. Contentment and resignation in such 
 trying circumstances are not only blessings to the possessors, 
 but they fill by-standers with astonishment. 
 
 Dr. Doddridge. — While Dr. Doddridge was at Bath on 
 his way to Falmouth (from which latter place he embarked 
 for Lisbon for the recovery of his health), Lady H.'s house 
 
RELIGIOUS. 329 
 
 was his home. In the morning of the day on which he 
 set out from thence for Falmouth, Lady H. came into the 
 room and found him weeping over that passage in Daniel, 
 chap, x., 11th and 12th verses : " Oh, Daniel, a man greatly 
 beloved." " You are in tears, sir," said Lady H. " I am 
 weeping, madam," said the doctor, "but they are tears of 
 comfort and joy. I can give up my country, my relations, 
 and friends into the hands of God ; and as to myself, I can 
 as well go to heaven from Lisbon as from my own study at 
 Northampton." 
 
 A very Surprising Event. — A young man by the name 
 of Ephraim Collins was going after a fiddle to give a fin- 
 ishing stroke to " a merry Christmas." Having to cross a 
 part of Naples, or Henderson Bay, he took his skates. 
 When he was ready to proceed, he vociferated, " G — d ! 
 I'll skate into hell and damnation in five minutes !" It was 
 probably not half that time before he skated into a hole of 
 the ice, and sunk to the bottom of the lake ! His body was 
 found and taken from the water on the third day. From 
 this shocking example of impiety, and from the terrible dis- 
 aster which immediately followed, let all the presumptuous 
 and profane take warning, and " flee," before it shall be too 
 late, " from the wrath to come." " For in such an hour as 
 ye think not the Son of man cometh." — Western Rec. 
 
 Awful Death of a Wicked Woman. — There was a very 
 wicked woman in the almshouse in the city of Philadelphia. 
 She was continually asking for strong liquors, such as brandy 
 and gin ; but the person who had the charge of the house re- 
 fused to give her any. She then resolved to escape, and 
 told some of her companions she would " get well drunk 
 that night, if she went to hell for it the next day." 
 
 When the night came this woman was missing, and it was 
 found that she had clambered over the high wall which sur- 
 rounds the yard. The next morning a search was made for 
 her, when, shocking to relate, her body was found in a field 
 by the roadside half devoured by hogs. It appeared that 
 she had become so drunk as to fall down in the street, and 
 some person had placed her in the field that she might not 
 be crushed by the carriages, and she thus came to this 
 dreadful end. 
 
 The following awful account is related of a man, whose 
 name shall be concealed in tenderness to surviving rela- 
 
 Tt 
 
330 ANECDOTES. 
 
 tives. He waited upon a magistrate near Hitchin, in the 
 county of Hertford, and informed him that he had been 
 stopped by a young gentlemen of Hitchin, who had knocked 
 him down and searched his pockets, but, not finding anything 
 there, he suffered him to depart. The magistrate, astonished 
 at this piece of intelligence, despatched a messenger to the 
 young gentleman, ordering him to appear immediately and 
 answer to the charge exhibited against him : the youth 
 obeyed the summons, accompanied by his guardian and an 
 intimate friend. Upon their arrival at the seat of justice, the 
 accused and the accuser were confronted ; when the magis- 
 trate hinted to the man that he was fearful he had made the 
 charge with no other view than that of extorting money, and 
 bade him take care how he proceeded ; exhorting him, in the 
 most earnest and pathetic manner, to beware of the dreadful 
 train of consequences attending perjury. 
 
 The man insisted upon making oath of what he had ad- 
 vanced ; the oath was accordingly administered, and the bu- 
 siness fully investigated, when the innocence of the young 
 gentleman was established, he having, by the most incontro- 
 vertible evidence, proved an alibi. The infamous wretch, 
 finding his intentions thus frustrated, returned home much 
 chagrined, and, meeting soon afterward with one of his neigh- 
 bours, he declared he had not sworn to anything but the 
 truth, calling God to witness the same in the most solemn 
 manner; and wished, if it was not as he had said, his jaws 
 might be locked, and that his flesh might rot upon his bones ; 
 when, terrible to relate ! his jaws were instantly locked, and 
 the use of the faculty he had so awfully perverted was de- 
 nied him forever; and, after lingering nearly a fortnight, he 
 expired in the greatest agonies, his flesh literally rotting upon 
 his bones. 
 
 Lying. — When Denades the orator addressed himself to 
 the Athenians, " I call all the gods and goddesses to witness," 
 said he, " the truth of what I shall say ;" the Athenians, 
 often abused by his impudent lies, presently interrupted him 
 by exclaiming, " And we call all the gods and goddesses to 
 witness that we will not believe you." 
 
 Lying Punished. — One day there happened a tremen- 
 dous storm of lightning and thunder as Archbishop Leighton 
 was going from Glasgow to Dunblane. He was descried, 
 when at a distance, by two men of bad character. They 
 had not courage to rob him ; but, wishing to fall on some 
 
RELIGIOUS. 331 
 
 method of extorting money from, him, one said, " I will lie 
 down by the wayside as if I were dead, and you shall inform 
 the archbishop that I was killed by the lightning, and beg 
 money of him to bury me." When the archbishop arrived 
 at the spot, the wicked wretch told him the fabricated story. 
 He sympathized with the surviver, gave him money, and 
 proceeded on his journey. But, when the man returned to 
 his companion, he found him really lifeless ! Immediately 
 he began to exclaim aloud, " Oh, sir, he is dead ! Oh, sir, 
 he is dead !" On this the archbishop, discovering the fraud, 
 left the man with this important reflection : " It is a danger- 
 ous thing to trifle with the judgments of God." 
 
 AFFLICTIONS. 
 
 11 It was good for me that I was Afflicted." — A min- 
 ister was recovering of a dangerous illness, when one of his 
 friends addressed him thus : " Sir, though God seems to be 
 bringing you up from the gates of death, yet it will be a long 
 time before you will sufficiently retrieve your strength, and 
 regain vigour enough of mind to preach as usual." The 
 good man answered, " You are mistaken, my friend ; for this 
 six weeks' illness has taught me more divinity than all my 
 past studies and all my ten years' ministry put together." 
 
 It is related of one who, under great severity, had fled 
 from the worst of masters to the best (I mean he had sought 
 rest in the bosom of Jesus Christ, the common friend of the 
 weary and the heavy laden), that he was so impressed with 
 a sense of the benefit he had derived from his afflictions, 
 that, lying on his deathbed, and seeing his master stand by, 
 he eagerly caught the hands of his oppressor, and kissing 
 them, said, " These hands have brought me to heaven." 
 Thus many have had reasons to bless God for afflictions, as 
 being the instruments in his hand of promoting the welfare 
 of their immortal souls ! 
 
 Trials Productive of Good. — " I remember," says Mr. 
 Whitfield, " some years ago, when I was at Shields, I went 
 into a glasshouse ; and standing very attentive, I saw several 
 masses of burning glass of various forms. The workman 
 took a piece of glass and put it into one furnace, then he put 
 it into a second, and then into a third. I said to him, ' Why 
 do you put this through so many fires V He answered, 
 
332 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " Oh, sir, the first was not hot enough, nor the second, and, 
 therefore, we put it into a third, and that will make it transpa- 
 rent.' " This furnished Mr.Whitfield with a useful hint, that 
 we must be tried and exercised with many fires, until our 
 dross be purged away and we are made fit for the owner's 
 use. 
 
 Dr. Chandler. — It used to be said of Dr. Chandler, that, 
 after an illness, he always preached in a more evangelical 
 strain than usual. A gentleman who occasionally heard him 
 said to one of his constant auditors, " Pray, has not the doc- 
 tor been ill lately ?" " Why do you think so ?" " Because 
 the sermon was more evangelical than he usually preaches 
 when he is in full health." 
 
 PERSECUTION 
 
 The spirit of persecution has been too prevalent in every 
 age and almost in every parly ; nor has free toleration been 
 rightly understood till within these few years. The ac- 
 counts given us of the ten pagan persecutions ; the suc- 
 cessive and unheard of cruelties of the church of Rome ; 
 and, alas ! the too great portion of this spirit among Prot- 
 estants, are enough to make humanity sicken at the thought. 
 We, however, live in a time when this spirit begins to be 
 treated as it should be. The dawn of truth, love, and in- 
 telligence appears, and the glorious Sun of religious liberty 
 sheds his benign influence around us. May it never cease 
 to shine till the whole world be enlightened, and the spirit of 
 intolerance and religious oppression be heard of no more ! 
 Amen. 
 
 Francis L, king of France, used to declare, "that if he 
 thought the blood in his arm was tainted with the Lutheran 
 heresy, he would have it cut off; and that he would not 
 spare even his own children if they entertained sentiments 
 contrary to the Catholic Church." 
 
 Don Pedro, one of the Spanish captains taken by SirF. 
 Drake, being examined before the Lords of the Privy Coun- 
 cil as to what was their design of invading us, replied, 
 " To subdue the nation and root it out." " And what meant 
 you," said the lords, " to do with the Catholics ?" " To 
 
RELIGIOUS. 333 
 
 send them good men," says he, "directly to heaven, and you 
 heretics to hell." " For what end were your whips of cord 
 and wire V " To whip you heretics to death." " What 
 would you have done with the young children ?" " Those 
 above seven years old should have gone the way their fathers 
 went : the rest should have lived in perpetual bondage, 
 branded in the forehead with the letter L. for Lutheran." 
 
 N. B. The instruments of torture above alluded to, as 
 thumb-screws, whips, &c, are still shown among other cu- 
 riosities in the Tower of London. 
 
 The history of the dreadful persecution of the Protest- 
 ants under Charles IX. of France needs not a place here ; 
 but one of the most horrid circumstances attending it was, 
 that when the news of this event reached Rome, Pope 
 Gregory XIII. instituted the most solemn rejoicing, giving 
 thanks to Almighty God for this glorious victory ! ! ! An in- 
 stance that has no parallel even in hell. 
 
 What a different spirit did Louis XII. of France mani- 
 fest ! When he was incited to persecute the Waldenses, he 
 returned this truly great and noble reply : " God forbid that 
 I should persecute any for being more religious than my- 
 self." 
 
 Albigensian War. — The Albigensian war, in the begin- 
 ning of the thirteenth century, commenced with the storming 
 of Bezieres, and a massacre in which fifteen thousand per- 
 sons, or, according to some accounts, sixty thousand, were 
 put to the sword. Not a living soul escaped, as witnesses 
 assure us. It was here that a Cistertian monk, who led on 
 the Crusaders, being asked how the Catholics were to be 
 distinguished from heretics, answered, " Kill them all ! God 
 will know his own." 
 
 DYING CHRISTIANS. 
 
 Mr. Bruce. — Mr. Robert Bruce, the morning before he 
 died, being at breakfast, and having, as he used, eaten an 
 egg, he said to his daughter, " I think I am yet hungry ; you 
 may bring me another egg." But, having mused a little, he 
 said, " Hold, daughter, hold ; my Master calls me." With 
 these words his sight failed him ; whereupon he called for 
 the Bible, and said, " Turn to the eighth chapter of Romans, 
 
334 ANECDOTES. 
 
 and set my finger on the words, - I am persuaded that nei- 
 ther death, nor life, fyc, shall be able to separate me from 
 the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus my Lord.'' " When 
 this was done, he said, " Now is my finger upon them ?" 
 Being told it was, without any more, he said, " Now God 
 be with you, my children ; I have breakfasted with you, and 
 shall sup with my Lord Jesus Christ this night." And then 
 expired. 
 
 Addison. — Addison, after a long and manly but vain 
 struggle with his distemper, dismissed his physicians, and 
 with them aU hopes of life. But with his hopes of life he 
 dismissed not his concerns for the living, but sent for a 
 youth who was nearly related and finely accomplished. He 
 came, but, life now glimmering in the socket, the dying 
 friend was silent. After a decent and proper pause, the 
 youth said, " Dear sir, you sent for me. I believe and I 
 hope you have some commands ; if you have, I shall hold 
 them most sacred." May distant ages not only hear, but 
 feel the reply ! Forcibly grasping the youth's hand, he 
 softly said, " See in what peace a Christian can die !" He 
 spoke with difficulty, and soon expired. 
 
 Bishop Cowper. — The Rev. W. Cowper, some time 
 minister at Sterling, and afterward bishop of Galloway, thus 
 spoke of his dissolution to his weeping friends : " Death is 
 somewhat dreary, and the streams of that Jordan which is 
 between us and our Canaan run furiously ; but they stand 
 still when the ark comes." 
 
 Dr. Goodwin. — " Ah !" said Dr. Goodwin, in his last 
 moments, "is this dying? How have I dreaded as an en- 
 emy this smiling friend !" 
 
 Hervey's Dying Words. — " Lord, now lettest thou thy 
 servant depart in peace, according to thy word, for mine 
 eyes have seen thy salvation." — Luke ii., 29, 30. 
 
 Mr. Hervey, when dying, expressed his gratitude to his 
 physician for his visits, though it had long been out of the 
 power of medicine to cure him. He then paused a little, 
 and, with great serenity and sweetness in his countenance, 
 though the pangs of death were upon him, being raised a 
 little in his chair, repeated these words : " ' Lord, now lettest 
 thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy most holy 
 and comfortable word, for mine eyes have seen thy precious 
 
RELIGIOUS. 335 
 
 salvation.' Here, doctor, is my cordial. What are all the 
 cordials given to support the dying, in comparison with that 
 which arises from the salvation by Christ ? This, this now 
 supports me." About three o'clock he said, " The great 
 conflict is now over; now all is done." After which he 
 scarcely spoke any other word intelligibly, except twice or 
 thrice, " Precious salvation !" and then, leaning his head 
 against the side of the chair on which he sat, he shut his 
 eyes, and on Christmasday, December 25, 1758, between 
 four and five in the afternoon, fell asleep in Jesus. 
 
 The dying Wesley said, " The best of all is, God is 
 with us." 
 
 The triumphant M'Kendree's dying words were, "All 
 is well ! All is well ! !" 
 
 Proverbs xiv., 32. " But the righteous hath hope in his 
 death." 
 
 On Tuesday afternoon, Mr. H. S. Golding, feeling the ap- 
 proaches of death, broke out in these rapturous expressions : 
 " I find now it is no delusion ! My hopes are well founded ! 
 Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into 
 the heart of man to conceive the glory I shall shortly par- 
 take of! Read your Bible! I shall read mine no more! 
 no more need it !" When his brother said to him, " You 
 seem to enjoy foretastes of heaven," " Oh," replied he, 
 " this is no longer a foretaste, this is heaven ! I not only 
 feel the climate, but I breathe the fine ambrosial air of heav 
 en, and soon shall enjoy the company ! Can this be dying ? 
 This body seems no longer to belong to the soul ; it ap- 
 pears only as a curtain that covers it ; and soon I shall drop 
 this curtain and be set at liberty !" Then, putting his hand 
 to his breast, he exclaimed, " I rejoice to feel these bones 
 give way !" repeating it, " I rejoice to feel these bones give 
 way, as it tells me I shall shortly be with my God in glory !" 
 
 The last words which he was heard to utter were, " Glory, 
 glory, glory!" He died on the Lord's day, April 17, 1808, 
 in the twenty-fourth year of his age. 
 
 Converted Jewess. — A Jewess of distinction in Cour- 
 land was perfectly convinced in her mind that Jesus was the 
 true Messiah, but she dared not publicly confess him as such. 
 When, however, in the extremity of sickness, she found her 
 end approaching, she called her nurse to her bedside and de- 
 sired her to bring a dish of clean water. The nurse was a 
 Christian. When she had brought the water, the Jewess 
 
336 ANECDOTES. 
 
 addressed her: "You know that among you Christians it is 
 allowed for the midwives, and also for other persons, in 
 cases of necessity, to administer the sacrament of baptism. 
 Do you now administer it to me ; for I believe in Jesus 
 Christ, and yet can no more have an opportunity to be pub- 
 licly baptized in the church by a clergyman." She then held 
 her head over the dish, while the nurse sprinkled her thrice 
 with water, pronouncing the words commonly used in per- 
 forming the ceremony of baptism. This being done, the 
 Jewess sent for her relations, took leave of them, and said, 
 " Now I die in the faith of Jesus of Nazareth, the true Mes- 
 siah, cheerful, confident, and happy !" 
 
 Death of Dr. Spener. — Dr. James Spener, some days 
 before he died, gave orders that nothing of black should be 
 in his coffin : " For," said he, " I have been a sorrowful man 
 these many years, lamenting the deplorable state of Christ's 
 church militant here on earth ; but now, being upon the point 
 of retiring into the church triumphant in heaven, I will not 
 have the least mark of sorrow left upon me ; out my body 
 shall be wrapped up all over in white, for a testimony that I 
 died in expectation of a better and more glorious state of 
 Christ's church to come, even upon earth." 
 
 Remarkable Presentiment of Death. — The Georgia 
 Analytical Repository, No. 3, contains the following singular 
 account of the death of Mrs. Daniel. On the morning pre- 
 ceding her death, Mr. and Mrs. Daniel junior left her in per- 
 fect health, expecting their return at dinner-time ; shortly 
 after this hour they arrived, and found the victuals on the 
 table scarcely cold. To their unutterable surprise, their 
 mother appeared in her grave-clothes, having also prepared 
 and taken possession of a suitable place for her corpse. To 
 the earnest and affectionate inquiries which were immedi- 
 ately addressed to her, she calmly replied, " I am admonished 
 by a strong impression on my mind that my departure is at 
 hand ; I hope grace has prepared me for my change ; I have 
 no desire to remain any longer in this world. Pray be com- 
 posed, and resign me to the will of my God. I am going to 
 the rest that I have long desired." 
 
 With the best means in their power to reanimate her 
 feeble body, they used all the remonstrances and entreaties 
 that prudence and affection could suggest to banish from her 
 mind the idea of instant dissolution ; observations were made 
 on her case, the natural appearance of her countenance, and 
 
RELIGIOUS. 337 
 
 hopes very confidently expressed that she must be mistaken 
 in her views of so sudden a death ; in reply, she said, " I 
 should be very sorry to find this to be the case, but am un- 
 der no apprehension of it. I have received an assurance of 
 being in heaven in a short time ; my soul is in perfect peace ; 
 I feel no pain, and am happy ; compose yourselves, and leave 
 me to my joys. Love and serve God, and you will soon fol- 
 low me to his presence ! May God bless you, my dear chil- 
 dren, and keep you in the way of his holy commandments." 
 With great composure she directed a pair of hose and a 
 handkerchief, which she had laid by themselves for the pur- 
 pose, to be put on her corpse, as the only articles she had 
 omitted in otherwise fitting herself for the coffin. Nothing 
 like distortion was to be seen in her features ; no symptoms 
 of alarm, nor the slightest degree of derangement, appeared 
 in her conduct or conversation. Life gradually retreated to 
 the extremities of the system ; her breath began to fail, and 
 in the course of a very few minutes she gently departed. 
 
 She had been remarkably healthy for many years, and nev- 
 er appeared more so than she was a little before her dissolu- 
 tion. It is supposed that, within two hours from the time 
 she conceived herself warned to prepare immediately for 
 death, she was in eternity ; several of her neighbours, who 
 are worthy of the highest confidence, speak of her as a pious 
 and excellent character. The extraordinary manner of her 
 dissolution is said to have had a happy effect, in connexion 
 with her dying counsel, on her surviving relatives. 
 
 Death. — Mr. B. mentioning to Dr. Johnson that he had 
 seen the execution of several convicts at Tyburn two days 
 before, and that none of them seemed to be under any con- 
 cern, "Most of them, sir," said Johnson, "have never 
 thought at all." " But is not the fear of death natural to 
 man ?" said B. " So much so, sir," said Johnson, " that the 
 whole of life is but keeping away the thoughts of it." There 
 are some exceptions, however, to this remark. Dr. Donne, 
 it is said, some time before his death, when he was emaci- 
 ated with study and sickness, caused himself to be wrapped 
 up in a sheet, which was gathered over his head in the man- 
 ner of a shroud, and having closed his eyes, he had his por- 
 trait taken, which was kept by his bedside as long as he 
 lived, to remind him of mortality. 
 
 " The best course of moral instruction against the pas- 
 sions," says Saurin, " is death." The grave is a discoverer 
 
 Uu 15 
 
338 ANECDOTES. 
 
 of the absurdity of sin of every kind. There the ambitious 
 may learn the folly of ambition ; there the vain may learn 
 the vanity of all human things ; there the voluptuous may 
 read a mortifying lesson on the absurdity of sensual pleasure. 
 The aggregate population on the surface of the known 
 habitable globe is estimated at 895,300,000 souls. If we 
 reckon, with the ancients, that a generation lasts thirty years, 
 then in that space 895,300,000 human beings will be born 
 and die; consequently, 81,760 must be dropping into eter- 
 nity every day, 3407 every hour, or about fifty-six every 
 minute. Reader, how awful is this reflection ! Consider ! 
 prepare ! watch ! 
 
 MARTYRS. 
 
 James the Less. — About the year A.D. 63, when Festus 
 was dead and Albinus had not come to succeed him, the 
 Jews, being exceedingly enraged at the success of the gospel, 
 Annanus, son of Annas, it is said, ordered James to ascend 
 one of the galleries of the temple, and inform the people 
 that they had, without ground, believed Jesus of Nazareth 
 to be the Messiah. He got up and cried with a loud voice 
 that Jesus was the Son of God, and would quickly appear 
 in the clouds to judge the world. Many glorified God and 
 believed ; but the Pharisees threw him over the battlement. 
 He was sorely bruised, but got up on his knees and prayed 
 for his murderers amid a shower of stones which they cast 
 at him, till one of them beat out his brains with a fuller's 
 club. To the death of this just man some Jews ascribe the 
 ruin of their nation. 
 
 An Account of the Life and Death of Polycarp, 
 who was bishop (or angel) of the church of Smyrna at the 
 time when St. John was in the Isle of Patmos. — See Rev. 
 ii., 8, 9, 10. Polycarp was a disciple of St. John, and there- 
 fore (although in the lonesome island) could not but see with 
 pleasure the flourishing state of the church which he was 
 prime minister of; but poverty, tribulation, and persecution 
 were his lot. Three days before he was apprehended, having 
 retired after prayer to rest, and being fallen asleep, he saw 
 in a dream the pillow set on fire which was under his head, 
 and, he thought, suddenly consumed to ashes ; which matter, 
 when he awoke, he interpreted to those about him to be a 
 
RELIGIOUS. 339 
 
 presage that his life was near its end, and his body would 
 be burned for the testimony of Christ, according to the 
 epistles directed to him by St. John. When the soldiers 
 came for him he desired them to take some refreshment ; 
 after they had eaten and drank at his table, he asked them 
 leave to make prayer with his family and friends once more, 
 which they consented to ; and when he had concluded, and 
 recommended all to God in Christ, he said, " I am now ready 
 to go with you." The soldiers, whose hearts by this time 
 were almost melted within them by such love, gave him an 
 opportunity to make his escape, but he embraced it not. 
 
 At length they told him to- escape from them, and they 
 would not prevent him ; but he asked them how they would 
 answer that to him who sent them, telling them that a re- 
 missness in duty would cause them to be punished by their 
 commander : to which they replied, " We will say we could 
 not find you." He answered, " But you have found me, and 
 in that you would transgress the law of God through my 
 means ;" upon which they replied, " You will be burned, and 
 we desire that you escape ; how will you bear so cruel a 
 death ?" To which he replied, " Him whom I have served 
 for many years after a feeble manner will not forsake me 
 now ; I am willing to die for him that I may eternally live 
 with him ; be not dismayed ; you are doing your duty ; I lay 
 nothing to your charge ; I hope this day you may see and 
 know that Jesus Christ is worthy of all adoration, and that 
 he died for you also." 
 
 When they brought him before the proconsul, he asked 
 him, " Art thou Polycarp who is called the Bishop of Smyr- 
 na ?" He answered, " Yea, my name is Polycarp." " If 
 thou wilt swear, I will let thee go; blaspheme and defy 
 Christ, and thou shalt have my protection and be safe." To 
 which Polycarp answered, " Fourscore years have I served 
 Christ ; neither hath he offended me in anything, but, on the 
 contrary, I found him a good friend, withholding no good 
 thing from me, and how can I revile so gracious a master ?" 
 
 Proconsul. "I have wild beasts to devour thee unless 
 thou change." 
 
 Polycarp. " Bring them out, for we have determined by 
 Divine aid not to change, nor to turn from so good a cause to 
 so bad a one as yours ; it is more reasonable for you to turn 
 from evil to the Christian cause, which is good and just." 
 
 Proconsul. " I will tame thy madness with fire, if thou 
 iearest not wild beasts nor changest thy resolutions." 
 
 Polycarp. " Thou threatenest me with fire, which lasts 
 
340 ANECDOTES. 
 
 but an hour, and is quickly quenched ; but thou art ignorant 
 of the everlasting fire which will fall on the despisers of 
 Jesus at the day of judgment, and of those endless torments 
 which are reserved for the wicked ; but why makest thou this 
 delay ? appoint me what death you please." 
 
 The pile being prepared, when they went to nail him to 
 the post, he said, " Nay, let me be even as I am : for Jesus 
 Christ, who gave me strength to come to the fire, will give 
 me patience to abide in it without fastening my body with 
 nails." When they bound him he prayed thus : " O Father 
 of thy well-beloved and blessed Son Jesus Christ, through 
 whom we have known thee ; O God of angels, God of 
 power, and of every living creature, and of just men who live 
 in thy presence, I thank thee that thou graciously vouch- 
 safest this day and this hour to allot me a portion in the 
 number of martyrs ; and that I should drink of the cup of 
 my blessed Redeemer, for the resurrection to everlasting life, 
 both of body and soul, through the operation of the Holy 
 Spirit : for I shall this day be received among thy witnesses, 
 into thy presence, as an acceptable sacrifice : and as thou 
 hast prepared and revealed this to me beforehand, so thou 
 hast now accomplished and fulfilled it. O thou most true 
 God, whose promises can never fail, therefore for all these 
 things I praise thee, I bless thee, I glorify thee, through the 
 everlasting shepherd and bishop of my soul, Christ Jesus ; 
 to whom, with thee and the Holy Spirit, be all honour and 
 glory, world without end. Amen." 
 
 Before his body was quite consumed, just before his 
 speech left him, he made the following prayer : 
 
 " God, the Father of thy well-beloved Son Jesus 
 Christ, through whom we receive the knowledge of thee and 
 the adoption of sons ; O God, the creator of all things, 
 upon thee I call ; thee I confess to be the true God ; thee I 
 glorify. O Lord, receive me, and make me a companion 
 of thy saints at the resurrection, through the merits of our 
 great high-priest, thy well-beloved Son Jesus Christ ; to 
 whom, with the Father, and God the Holy Spirit, be honour 
 and glory for ever. Amen." 
 
 He suffered in the seventh year of Verus, A.D. 107, aged 
 86, and was bishop about 63 years. 
 
 John Lambert — John Lambert suffered in the year 1538. 
 No man was used at the stake with more cruelty than this 
 holy martyr. They burned him with a slow fire by inches ; 
 for if it kindled higher and stronger than they chose, they 
 
RELIGIOUS. 341 
 
 removed it away. When his legs were burned off and his 
 thighs were mere stumps in the fire, they pitched his poor 
 body upon pikes and lacerated his broiling flesh with their 
 halberts. But God was with him in the midst of the flame, 
 and supported him in all the anguish of nature. Just before 
 e expired he lifted up such hands as he had, all flaming 
 with lire, and cried out to the people with his dying voice 
 with these glorious words, " None but Christ ! None but 
 Clirist /" He was at last bent down into the fire and expired. 
 
 George Wishart. — George Wishart, when brought to 
 the stake, the executioner upon his knees said " Sir, I pray 
 you forgive me, for I am not the cause of your death." 
 Wishart, calling him to him, kissed his cheeks, saying, 
 "Lo! here is a token that I forgive thee ; my heart, do thine 
 office." He was then tied to the stake and the fire kindled. 
 The captain of the castle coming near him, bade him to be 
 of good courage, and to beg for him the pardon of his sin; 
 to whom Wishart said, " This fire torments my body, but 
 no whit abates my spirit." Then looking towards the car- 
 dinal, he said, " He who, in such state, from that high place, 
 feeds his eyes with my torments, within a few days shall be 
 hanged out at that same window, to be seen with as much 
 ignominy as he now leans there with pride ;" and so his 
 breath being stopped, he was consumed by the fire near the 
 castle of St. Andrew's, in the year 1546. This prophecy 
 was fulfilled, when, after the cardinal was slain, the provost, 
 raising the town, came to the castle gates, crying, "What 
 have you done with my lord-cardinal ? Where is my lord- 
 cardinal ?" To whom they within answered, " Return to 
 your houses, for he hath received his reward, and will trouble 
 the world no more ;" but they still cried, " We will never 
 depart till we see him." The Leslies then hung him out at 
 that window to show that he was dead, and so the people 
 departed. 
 
 John Bradford. — Mr. John Bradford was taken into 
 Smithfield with a strong guard of armed men. When he 
 came to the place where he was to suffer, he fell on his face 
 and prayed ; after which he took a fagot and kissed it, and 
 the stake likewise. Then, having put off his clothes, he 
 stood by the stake, and lifting up his eyes and hands towards 
 heaven, said, " Oh England, England, repent of thy sins ; 
 beware of idolatry, beware of antichrists ; take heed they 
 do not deceive you." Then he turned his face to John 
 
342 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Leaf, a young man of about twenty years old, who suffered 
 with him, and said, " Be of good comfort, brother, for we 
 shall sup with the Lord this night." He then embraced the 
 reeds, and said, " Straight is the gate and narrow is the way 
 that leadeth to life eternal, and few there be that find it." 
 After which he was fastened to the stake, and burned on the 
 first of July, in the year of our Lord 1555. He ended his 
 life like a lamb, without the least alteration in his counte- 
 nance, and in the prime of his days. 
 
 Mr. L. Saunders. — Mr. Lawrence Saunders, who was 
 executed the eighth of February, 1555, when he came to 
 the place, fell on the ground and prayed, and then arose and 
 took the stake in his arms to which he was to be chained, 
 and kissed it, saying, " Welcome the cross of Christ ! wel 
 come everlasting life !" 
 
 Thomas Bilney. — Thomas Bilney suffered at Norwich 
 in the year 1531, in the time of King Henry the Eighth. 
 
 As he was led forth to the place of execution, one of his 
 friends spoke to him, praying to God to strengthen him and 
 to enable him patiently to endure his torments ; to whom Mr. 
 Bilney answered, with a quiet and pleasant countenance, 
 " When the mariner undertakes a voyage, he is tossed on 
 the billows of the troubled seas ; yet, in the midst of all, he 
 beareth up his spirits with this consideration, that ere long 
 he shall come into his quiet harbour ; so," added he, " I am 
 now sailing upon the troubled sea, but ere long my ship 
 shall be in a quiet harbour ; and I doubt not but, through 
 the grace of God, I shall endure the storm, only I would en- 
 treat you to help me with your prayers." 
 
 The officers then placed the fagots about him, and set fire 
 to the reeds, which presently flamed up very high ; the 
 holy martyr all the while lifting up his hands towards heav- 
 en, sometimes calling upon Jesus, and sometimes saying 
 " Credo" i. e., I believe. The wind being high, and blow- 
 ing away the flame, he suffered a lingering death. At last 
 one of the officers beat out the staple to which the chain 
 was fastened that supported his body, and so let it fall into 
 the fire, where it was presently consumed. 
 
 John Huss. — John Huss, when the chain was put about 
 him at the stake, said, with a smiling countenance, " My 
 Lord Jesus Christ was bound with awarder chain than this 
 for my sake, and why should I be afraid of this old rustv 
 
RELIGIOUS. 343 
 
 one ?" When the fagots were piled up to his very neck, the 
 Duke of Bavaria was officious enough to desire him to abjure. 
 " No," said Huss, " I never preached any doctrine of an evil 
 tendency ; and what I taught with my lips I now seal with 
 my blood." He said to the executioner, " Are you going to 
 burn a goose ? In one century you will have a swan you can 
 neither roast nor boil." If he were prophetic he must have 
 meant Luther, who had a swan for his arms The flames 
 were then applied to the fagots, when the martyr sung a 
 hymn with so loud and cheerful a voice, that he was heard 
 through all the cracklings of the combustibles and the noise 
 of the multitude. At last his voice was short after he had 
 uttered " Jesus Christ, thou Son of the living God, have 
 mercy upon me !" and he was consumed in a most misera- 
 ble manner. 
 
 When the executioner went behind Jerom of Prague to 
 set fire to the pile, " Come here," said the martyr, " and 
 kindle it before my eyes ; for, if I dreaded such a sight, I 
 should never have come to this place when I had a free op- 
 portunity to escape." The fire was kindled, and he then 
 sung a hymn, which was soon finished by the encircling 
 flames. 
 
 Martyrdom of a Little Boy. — Church history furnishes 
 us with the following instance of early piety. At Caesarea, 
 in Cappadocia, a child named Cyril, in a time of heavy perse- 
 cution, called continually on the name of Jesus Christ, and 
 neither threats nor blows could divert him from it. Many 
 children of his own age persecuted him ; and his unnatural 
 father, who was a heathen, turned him out of doors. At 
 last they brought him before the judge, who both threatened 
 and entreated him ; but he said, " I rejoice to bear your re- 
 proaches ; God will receive me. I am glad that I am ex- 
 pelled out of our house ; I shall have a better mansion. I 
 fear not death, because it will introduce me to a better life." 
 In the end he was condemned to the flames, with a full ex- 
 pectation that he would recant and save his life ; but he per- 
 sisted, saying, "Your fire and your sword are insignificant; 
 I go to a better house and more excellent riches ; despatch 
 me presently, that I may enjoy them." They did so, and 
 he suffered martyrdom amid a throng of wondering beholders. 
 
 Dioclesian, the last and the worst of the Roman perse- 
 cuting emperors, observed, that the more he sought to blot 
 out the name of Christ, the more legible it became ; and 
 
344 ANECDOTES. 
 
 that whatever of Christ he thought to eradicate, it took the 
 deeper root, and rose the higher in the hearts and lives of 
 men. Those who have been, as it were, in the arms of God, 
 are as men made of fire walking in stubble ; they consume 
 and overcome all opposition ; nay, difficulties are but as 
 whetstones to their fortitude. 
 
 MISSIONARY. 
 
 Danish Converts. — " Behold what manner of love the 
 Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the 
 sons of God." 
 
 When the Danish missionaries appointed some of theii 
 Calabrian converts to translate a catechism, in which it 
 was mentioned as the privilege of Christians that they be- 
 come the sons of God, one of the translators, startled at so 
 bold a saying, as he thought it, bursting into tears, ex- 
 claimed, " It is too much ; let us rather render it, They shall 
 be permitted to kiss his feet." 
 
 "Whether ye Eat or Drink, do all to the Glory of 
 God." — Several years since, while on a missionary tour in 
 the South, I became acquainted with Major A., in whose 
 family was a poor African, who in most respects exhibited 
 the character of extreme ignorance ; yet there were some 
 features of his mind which seemed to give him a likeness to 
 those who shall at last be acknowledged wise. I have heard 
 many striking anecdotes concerning him, one of which I re- 
 member with peculiar interest. 
 
 Pompey was often missing when the other negroes came 
 to their dinner, and it was at length discovered that he spent 
 his time alone, in a sort of devotion peculiar to himself. 
 One day his master, going to the field, observed Pompey 
 standing near the spring with his hands clasped, his head 
 thrown back, and his lips moving, as if he spoke to some 
 invisible being; he then stooped down and drank, again 
 stood up and repeated the same ceremony as before. His 
 master called to him, "Pompey, what are you doing?" 
 " Noting, massa, only me tank God for watta ;" and he turned 
 away to resume his accustomed task. Pompey, the slave, 
 was thankful for a draught of cold water ; and though his fame 
 may not now reach beyond the boundary of a southern cotton- 
 field, yet it may be that, in eternity, this instance of his humble 
 
RELIGIOUS. 345 
 
 gratitude shall be told as a memorial of him by angel lips , 
 while the fame of Pompey the Great, which has for ages 
 filled the world, shall have for ever perished. — Am. Pastor's 
 Journal. 
 
 Petition of a Russian Boy of twelve years of age 
 for a Bible. — " Most honoured members of the Saevian Bible 
 Society in the government of Orel : 
 
 " My father serves the emperor. My grandfather, with 
 whom I live, is blind. My two grandmothers are both of 
 them old and infirm. My mother alone, by the labour of 
 her hands, supports us all ; she herself taught me to read. 
 I have a desire to read the word of God ; but I have no 
 books, except the Psalter in a very tattered state. My blind 
 grandfather has by the ear alone acquired a great knowledge 
 of divine things, and likes very much that I should repeat 
 something to him by heart. 
 
 " Confer on me, I pray you, a holy book. I hear you 
 have it, and that you distribute to those who have money 
 for money, and to the poor for nothing. I will read it, and 
 I will pray to God for you. Ivan, 
 
 " The grandson of the blind Stephen." 
 
 A lady one morning applied to some gentlemen who were 
 appointed to examine the tickets of admission to a missionary 
 meeting in England, and, as she had no ticket (not being a 
 subscriber), they were obliged, according to the established 
 rule, reluctantly to refuse admission ; she retired a few paces, 
 and again addressing the gentlemen, said, " I stated that I 
 was not a subscriber, but I forgot, I am a subscriber ; I had 
 one son, the prop of my declining years, and I have given 
 him to the God of missions" 
 
 The Missionary Money-box. — A few weeks since a tra- 
 ding vessel, laden with corn, from Cardigan, in Wales, was 
 taken in the channel by an American privateer. When the 
 captain went into the cabin to survey his prize, he espied a 
 little box, with a hole in the top, similar to that which trades- 
 men have in their counters, through which they drop their 
 money ; and at the sight of it he seemed a little surprised, 
 and said to the Welch captaki, " What is this ?" pointing to 
 the box with his stick. " Oh," said the honest Cambrian, 
 " 'tis all over now." "What ?" asked the American. " Why, 
 the truth is," replied the Welch captain, " that I and my poor 
 fellows have been accustomed every Monday to drop a penny 
 
 X x 
 
346 ANECDOTES. 
 
 each into that box, for the purpose of sending out mission- 
 aries to preach the gospel to the heathen, but it is all over 
 now ! " Ah !" said the American, " that is very good ;" and, 
 after pausing a few minutes, he said, " Captain, I'll not hurt 
 a hair of your head nor touch your vessel." The pious 
 Welchman was accordingly allowed to pursue his voyage 
 unmolested. 
 
 At Bukapuram, in the Northern Circars, a child only eight 
 years old, who had been educated in Christianity, was ridi- 
 culed on account of his religion by some heathens older than 
 himself. In reply, he repeated what he had been taught re- 
 specting God. " Show us your God," said the heathens. 
 "I cannot do that," answered the child; "but I can show 
 yours to you." Taking up a stone, and daubing it with some 
 resemblance of a human face, he placed it very gravely upon 
 the ground, and pushed it towards them with his foot : 
 " There," says he, " is such a God as you worship." " But 
 to whom will you liken me ; or what likeness will ye com- 
 pare unto me, saith the Lord ? I am Jehovah, and besides 
 me there is no God." A just God, and yet a Saviour ! 
 
 SABBATH SCHOOL. 
 
 The Praying Child. — A little girl at a Sunday-school 
 in Yorkshire hearing a preacher remark "that prayerless 
 persons would not go to heaven," after she went home told 
 her mother what she had heard, and said, " Mother, you 
 never pray ;" who replied, " I cannot pray." " Yes, mother," 
 said the child, "you can pray." " I tell you," answered the 
 mother, in an angry way, " I cannot pray." " Then, mother, 
 I'll pray for you ;" and, kneeling down, exclaimed, " Lord, 
 forgive my mother, and save her from swearing ! O Lord, 
 forgive my father, and keep him from getting drunk." The 
 father, who was then drinking in a public house, being con- 
 victed by the Spirit of God, came home immediately, and, 
 finding the child in the act of praying for her parents, it 
 proved the happy means of their conversion. "Except ye 
 be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter 
 into the kingdom of heaven." 
 
 Utility of Religious Instructers. — A poor afflictea 
 woman being visited by the members of a benevolent soci- 
 
RELIGIOUS. 347 
 
 ety, a girl was seen kneeling at the bed with a Testament 
 by her side ; on being observed, she immediately ran away. 
 Inquiry was then made respecting the child, to which the 
 sick woman replied, " Do not call her a child, she is a little 
 angel : she visits me, and reads to me, and brings me every 
 halfpenny she can get, often sixpence on the Sunday, and 
 sometimes more." On the following Sabbath the child, who 
 belonged to a Sunday-school, was called into the committee- 
 room and questioned concerning her motive for so doing. 
 Her reply was, that they had desired her to learn the first 
 chapter of James, where she found that " pure and undefiled 
 religion before God and the Father is this, to visit the father- 
 less and widows in their affliction." 
 
 If such facts as these do not convince gainsayers of the 
 utility and importance of instructing children in Christian 
 principles, neither would they be persuaded though one rose 
 from the dead. 
 
 Temptation Resisted. — A poor chimney-sweeper's boy 
 was employed at the house of a lady of rank to cleanse the 
 chimney of her antechamber. Finding himself on the hearth 
 of her ladyship's dressing-room, and perceiving no one there, 
 he waited a few moments to take a view of the beautiful 
 things in the apartment. A gold watch, richly set with dia- 
 monds, particularly caught his attention, and he could not 
 forbear taking it into his hand. Immediately the wish arose 
 in his mind, " Ah ! if thou hadst such a one !" After a pause 
 he said to himself, " But if I take it I shall be a thief! And 
 yet," continued he, " nobody sees me — nobody ? Does not 
 God see me, who is present everywhere ? Should I then 
 be able to say my prayers to Him after I had committed this 
 theft ? Could I die in peace ?" Overcome by these thoughts, 
 a cold shivering seized him. " No," said he, laying down 
 the watch, " 1 had much rather be poor and keep my good 
 conscience, than rich and become a rascal." At these words 
 he hastened back into his chimney. 
 
 The countess, who was in the next room, having over- 
 heard his soliloquy, sent for him the next day and thus ac- 
 costed him : "My little friend, why didst thou not take the 
 watch yesterday ?" The boy fell on his knees, speechless 
 and astonished. " I heard everything you said," continued 
 her ladyship; "thank God for enabling you to resist this 
 temptation, and be watchful over yourself for the future ; 
 from this moment you shall be in my service ; I will both 
 maintain and clothe you ; nay, more, I will procure you good 
 
348 ANECDOTES. 
 
 instruction, which shall guard you from the danger of similar 
 temptations." 
 
 The boy burst into tears ; he was anxious to express his 
 gratitude, but he could not. The countess strictly kept her 
 promise, and had the pleasure of seeing him grow up a good, 
 pious, and intelligent man. 
 
 A Benevolent Boy. — A boy who had been present at 
 a missionary meeting in the north of England was so deeply 
 impressed by what he had seen, that on the next day he 
 was overheard addressing himself thus to a little thrush 
 which he had taught to perch on his finger : " You are a 
 sweet little fellow, and I love you dearly; but, much as I 
 love you, if anybody would give me threepence for you, 
 you should go, and I would give it towards sending the gos- 
 pel to the heathen." 
 
 The Attentive Children. — Perhaps more attention 
 should be paid to the rising generation in an address from 
 the pulpit than what is ordinarily done. They may, under 
 the Divine blessing, receive more benefit than we suspect. 
 A child, after being remarkably attentive to the sermon, was 
 observed to weep when going to bed on the Lord's day 
 evening. On being asked the cause, the little one replied, 
 " Because I am so wicked, and Jesus Christ has been so 
 good to us, as the minister said." Another child, six years 
 old, having heard a minister preach on the ministry of angels, 
 said to her friends, " I am not afraid to go to bed now" 
 
 (though before very fearful), " for Mr. said * the angels 
 
 watch over us while we are asleep,' " and this actually cured 
 her of her fears. ' Another, about seven years old, hearing 
 the same minister preach on secret worship, went home and 
 retired to her closet, and ever since has continued to pray 
 and read the Scriptures in private. It is good, therefore, 
 for children to be under the word ; the seed may be sown 
 which shall afterward spring up and produce abundance of 
 fruit. 
 
 Miss Dinah Dowdney, of Portsea, who died at nine years 
 of age, one day in her illness said to her aunt, with whom 
 she lived, "When I am dead, I should like Mr. Griffin to 
 preach a sermon to children to persuade them to love Jesus 
 Christ, to obey their parents, not to tell lies, but to think of 
 dying and going to heaven. I have been thinking," said 
 she, " what text I should like him to preach from ; 2 Kings, 
 iv., 26. You are the Shunamite, Mr. G. is the prophet, and 
 
RELIGIOUS.' 349 
 
 I am the Shunamite's child. When I am dead I dare say 
 you will be grieved, though you need not. The prophet 
 will come to see you ; and when he says, ' How is it with 
 the child V you may say, ' It is well.' I am sure it will 
 then be well with me, for I shall be in heaven singing the 
 praises of God. You ought to think it well too." Mr. G. 
 accordingly fulfilled the wish of this pious child. 
 
 The Praying Little Girl. — A little girl in London, 
 about four years of age, was one day playing with her com- 
 panions. Taking them by the hand, she led them to a shed 
 in the yard, and asked them all to kneel down, as she was 
 going to pray to God Almighty ; " but don't you tell my 
 mamma," said she, " for she never prays, and would beat 
 me if she knew that I do." 
 
 Instead of keeping the secret, one of her playmates went 
 directly and told this little girl's mother, who was very much 
 struck, but for the present took no notice. Some time after, 
 on her going in doors, her mother asked her what she had 
 been doing in the yard; she tried to avoid giving a direct 
 answer. The question being repeated, the answer was the 
 same ; when her mother, however, promised not to be angry 
 with her, and pressed the inquiry by very kind words, she 
 said, "I have been praying to God Almighty." "But why 
 do you pray to him ?" " Because I know he hears me, and 
 I love to pray to him." " But how do you know he hears 
 you ?" This was a difficult question, indeed, but mark her 
 reply ; putting her little hand to her heart, she said, " Oh, I 
 know he does, because there is something here that tells me 
 he does." This language pierced her mother's heart, who 
 was a stranger to prayer, and she wept bitterly. 
 
 Let good children, therefore, do as this little girl did, bow 
 their knees before God Almighty ; and however short and 
 feeble their little prayers, they may be sure he hears them 
 if they are offered in earnest, for he says, " I love them that 
 love me ; and they that seek me early shall find me." — 
 Sunday-school Herald. 
 
 The Praying Boy. — A gentleman was not long since 
 called upon to visit a dying female. On entering the hum- 
 ble cottage where she dwelt, he heard in an adjoining room 
 an infant voice. He listened, and found that it was the 
 child of the poor dying woman engaged in prayer. " O 
 Lord, bless my poor mother," cried the little boy, " and 
 prepare her to die ! O God, I thank thee that 1 have been 
 
350 ANECDOTES. 
 
 sent to a Sunday-school, and there have been taught to read 
 my Bible ; and there I learn that ' when my father and mother 
 forsake me, thou wilt take me up !' This comforts me now 
 that my poor mother is going to leave me ; may it comfort 
 her, and may she go to heaven, and may I go there too ! 
 Lord Jesus, pity a poor child, and pity my poor, dear 
 mother ; and help me to say, ' Thy will be done.' " He 
 ceased ; and the visiter, opening the door, approached the 
 bedside of the poor woman. " Your child has been praying 
 with you," said he ; "I have listened to his prayer." " Yes," 
 said she, making an effort to rise, " he is a dear child. 
 Thank God he has been sent to a Sunday-school ; I cannot 
 read myself, but he can ; and he has read the Bible to me, 
 and I hope I have reason to bless God for it. Yes, I have 
 learned from him that I am a sinner ; I have heard from him 
 of Jesus Christ ; and I do, yes, I do, as a poor sinner, put 
 my trust in him. I hope he will preserve me. I hope he 
 has forgiven me ! I am going to die, but I am not afraid ; 
 my dear child has been the means of saving my soul. Oh 
 how thankful am I that he was sent to a Sunday-school !" 
 
 The Bit of String. — A poor lame boy came one day to 
 a gentleman who was very kind to him, and asked for a piece 
 of string, saying, " Do, let it be a good long bit, sir." The 
 gentleman inquired what it was for. The boy was unwilling 
 to tell, but at last said it was to make a cabbage-net, which 
 he could sell for threepence, as he wished to send the money 
 (.0 help pay for printing Bibles for the poor heathen ; " and you 
 know, sir," added he, " it may pay for printing one side of 
 a leaf of them." The gentleman gave him a large piece of 
 string, and told him to bring the net when it was finished. 
 The boy brought it, and the gentleman said, " You are a 
 good boy ; there is threepence for you to send for the Bibles 
 and threepence for yourself." " No, sir," exclaimed the boy, 
 " do send it all ; perhaps it will pay for printing both sides /" 
 
 " They that feared the Lord spake often one to another." — 
 A little girl was asked by a visiter in the school what Christ 
 had done for her. She replied, " He died for me." " What 
 do you mean to do for him ?" " J mean to love him." 
 
 Another little girl, named Mary, being asked the reason 
 of so many being called by the same name, could give no 
 answer. She was then asked of whom she supposed her 
 mother thought when she named her Mary. " I suppose 
 she thought of Mary Magdalene," was the reply. " Why, 
 what of Mary Magdalene ?" " She washed the Saviour's 
 
RELIGIOUS. 351 
 
 ieet with her tears." "And what else?" " She was early 
 at the sepulchre." 
 
 A very small girl, being asked by a visiter in a Sabbath- 
 school if she loved her teacher, replied that she did. " Do 
 you love your parents ?" " I do," said the little girl, " but 1 
 love Christ more than all of them." 
 
 The above anecdotes are not given as an evidence of ju- 
 venile piety, but as illustrative of juvenile simplicity, and of 
 the heavenly influence of Sabbath-school instruction. 
 
 Striking Reproof. — A pious little boy one day seeing 
 his little sister in a passion, thus spoke to her : " Mary, look 
 at the sun ; it will soon go down ; it will soon be out of sight ; 
 it is going; it is gone down. Mary, Met not the sun go 
 down upon your wrath.' " The same little boy one day 
 heard some soldiers swearing in the street. He went up to 
 them, and told them how sinful it was to swear ; that Jesus 
 said, " Swear not at all." They took not the least notice of 
 his reproof, and seemed hardened in sin. He then said to 
 them, " As you despise all I have said, I will just mention 
 one word more, and then leave you : ' The wicked shall be 
 turned into hell, and all the people that forget God.'" 
 
 Effect of Sabbath-school Instruction. — As a little 
 boy was passing by the enclosure of a certain gentleman in 
 Washington City, a girl who was with him, and who belong- 
 ed to no Sabbath-school, saw a loose board lying near the 
 stall, and, assuming authority on the little boy, directed him 
 to take it up and carry it home. The boy, unwilling to take 
 what was not his own, objected ; " I cannot ; it belongs to 
 
 Mr. B ." " No matter," said the girl, " take it up and 
 
 bring it along." " No, no," repeated the boy, " I cannot : 1 
 go to Sunday-school." 
 
 Original Anecdote of a Sabbath-school Scholar. — 
 Last Sabbath, as the children were assembled at the 3d Pres- 
 byterian church in this village, and a few of them standing 
 in the porch, a wagon with a number of persons in it, appa- 
 rently on a journey, stopped, and one of the men called out to 
 the children, " Halloo, there, what sort of religion do you have 
 here ?" One of the lads replied, " A sort of religion that 
 forbids our travelling on the Sabbath." The inquirer passed 
 on without making any reply. — Rochester Observer. 
 
 A little girl brought a sister to the Sunday-school who is 
 deaf and dumb. I was talking to her on the blessing of 
 
352 ANECDOTES. 
 
 speech and hearing, when she stopped me suddenly, and 
 said her sister always prayed to God both night and morn- 
 ing. This caused some surprise in the class ; and I asked 
 how God could hear her who could not speak. Two or 
 three gave good answers. One said, " God knows the 
 thoughts and wishes of the heart." 
 
 Coloured Schools in Cincinnati. A Slave's Thirst 
 for Knowledge. — Some time since a coloured man visited 
 one of our schools. After listening for a while to the read- 
 ing and spelling of the scholars, he w T as asked to make some 
 remarks ; he said, " Children, when I was a little boy I was 
 a slave. I had no such privileges as you have. I wanted 
 to learn, but my master was not willing. One day his little 
 son came home from school saying his lesson ; I was per- 
 fectly charmed with it. Got him to go into the field one 
 Sunday with me, and that day I learned all my alphabet. 
 When my master found out I was learning to read so, I had 
 to stop, and learned no more for several years, when one of 
 his daughters, on whom I waited, learned me to spell. I 
 can now read and write. I will tell you, children, how I 
 learned to write. I would pick up pieces of paper that had 
 writing on them, and copy them. I never had a copy set me 
 Oh, children, it seems to me, if I had your chance when I 
 was young, I should have read through every book in the 
 world." ' 
 
 The Good Samaritan. — In one of our Sabbath-schools 
 there is a class of aged mothers, who come with their spec- 
 tacles on to learn how to read. A few Sabbaths ago, our 
 Sunday-school lesson was about the "good Samaritan." 
 One of them was asked what she thought about the priest 
 and Levite ; she remarked, " They did just as I have done a 
 great many times ; but I never shall do so any more. This 
 lesson has made my heart a heap softer ; it has made a soft 
 spot that never was made there before." On the next Sab- 
 bath we found she truly had followed Christ's direction ; had 
 literally gone and done likewise. She remarked to her teach- 
 er, " God has been trying me this week, to see if I would do 
 any better for going to Sabbath-school. There came to my 
 house a poor woman with a sick child ; she had been turned 
 out of doors several times. I took her in, sat up with her 
 child three nights, and it died on my lap. She offered to 
 pay me, but I would not take it, for I found it good to do 
 good. Now I never should have done this if it had not been 
 for that Sabbath-school lesson." 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 353 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS. 
 
 Apologies. — A lady invited Dean Swift to a most sump- 
 tuous dinner. She said, "Dear Dean, this fish is not as good as 
 I could wish, though I sent for it half across the kingdom, and 
 it cost me so much," naming an incredible price. "<And this 
 thing is not such as I ought to have for such a guest, though 
 it came from such a place, and cost such a sum." Thus she 
 went on decrying and underrating every article of her expen- 
 sive and ostentatious dinner, and teazing her distinguished 
 guest with apologies, only to find a chance to display her 
 vanity in bringing her trouble and expense into view, until 
 she exhausted his patience. He is reported to have risen in 
 a passion, and to have said, " True, madam, it is a miserable 
 dinner; and I will not eat it, but go home and dine upon 
 sixpence worth of herring." 
 
 Such is the general character of apologies. 
 
 Behind-hand. — An idle fellow the other day complaining 
 of his hard lot, said he was born the last day of the year, 
 and the last day of the month, and the last day of the week, 
 and he had always been behind-hand. He believed it would 
 have been fifty dollars in his pocket if he had not been born 
 at all ! 
 
 This man belonged to the same school of wits, no doubt, 
 with him who hired himself out for life at eight dollars a 
 month, with an agreement that he should have half his pay 
 at the end of every month, and the rest when his time was out ! 
 
 Burns. — Perhaps no man ever more severely inflicted the 
 castigaiion of reproof than Burns. The following anecdote 
 will illustrate the fact. The conversation one night at the 
 King's Arms, Dumfries, turning on the death of a townsman, 
 whose funeral was to take place on the following day, " By- 
 the-by," said one of the company, addressing himself to 
 Burns, " I wish you would lend me your black coat for the 
 occasion, my own being rather out of repair." " Having my- 
 self to attend the same funeral," answered Burns, " I am 
 sorry that I cannot lend you my sables, but I can recommend 
 a most excellent substitute ; throw your character over your 
 shoulders ; that will be the blackest coat you ever wore in 
 all your lifetime." 
 
 Yy 
 
354 ANECDOTES. 
 
 Where you ought to have been. — A clergyman, who 
 was in the habit of preaching in different parts of the coun- 
 try, was not long ago at an inn, where he observed a horse- 
 jockey trying to take in a simple gentleman, by imposing 
 upon him a broken- winded horse for a sound one. The par- 
 son knew the bad character of the jockey, and, taking the 
 gentleman aside, told him to be cautious of the person he was 
 dealing with. The gentleman finally declined the purchase, 
 and the jockey, quite nettled, observed, " Parson, I would 
 much rather hear you preach than see you privately inter- 
 fere in bargains between man and man, in this way." "Well," 
 replied the parson, " if you had been where you ought to 
 have been last Sunday, you might have heard me preach." 
 " Where was that !" inquired the jockey. " In the State 
 Prison," returned the clergyman. 
 
 Spanish Honour. — The Spanish historians relate a mem- 
 orable instance of honour and regard to truth. A Spanish 
 cavalier, in a sudden quarrel, slew a Moorish gentleman, and 
 fled. His pursuers soon lost sight of him, for he had, unper- 
 ceived thrown himself over a garden wall. The owner, a 
 Moor, happening to be in his garden, was addressed by the 
 Spaniard on his knees, who acquainted him with his case 
 and implored concealment. " Eat this," said the Moor, giv- 
 ing him half a peach ; "you now know that you may confide 
 in my protection." He then locked him up in his apartment, 
 telling him that, as soon as it was night, he would provide 
 for his escape to a place of greater safety. The Moor then 
 went into his house, where he had just seated himself, when 
 a great crowd, with loud lamentations, came to his gate, 
 bringing the dead body of his son, who had just been killed 
 by a Spaniard. When the shock of surprise was a little over, 
 he learned from the description given that the fatal deed was 
 done by the very person then in his power. He mentioned 
 this to no one, but, as soon as it was dark, retired to his gar- 
 den, as if to grieve alone, giving orders that none should follow 
 him. Then, accosting the Spaniard, he said, " Christian, the 
 person you have killed is my son : his body is now in my 
 house. You ought to suffer; but you have eaten with me, 
 and I have given you my faith, which must not be broken." 
 He then led the astonished Spaniard to his stables, mounted 
 him on one of his fleetest horses, and said, " Fly far while 
 the night can cover you : you will be safe in the morning. 
 You are, indeed, guilty of my son's blood ; but God is just 
 and good, and I thank him I am innocent of yours, and that 
 my faith given is preserved." 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 355 
 
 African Honour. — A remarkable instance of the like 
 honour is recorded of a poor 'unenlightened African negro, 
 in Captain Snelgrave's account of his Voyage to Guinea. 
 A New-England sloop, trading there in 1752, left a second 
 mate, William Murray, sick on shore, and sailed without 
 him. Murray was at the house of a black named Cudjoe, 
 with whom he contracted an acquaintance during their trade. 
 He recovered, and, the sloop being gone, he continued with 
 this black friend till some other opportunity should offer of 
 his getting home. In the mean time a Dutch ship came 
 into the road, and some of the blacks, coming on board her, 
 were treacherously seized and carried off as their slaves. 
 The relations and friends, transported with sudden rage, ran 
 into the house of Cudjoe to take revenge by killing Mur- 
 ray. Cudjoe stopped them at the door, and demanded what 
 they wanted. " The white men," said they, "have carried 
 away our brothers and sons, and we will kill all white men. 
 Give us the white man you have in your house, for we will 
 kill him." "Nay," said Cudjoe : " the white men that car- 
 ried away your relations are bad men ; kill them when you 
 take them : but this white man is a good man, and you must 
 not kill him." " But he is a white man," they cried, " and 
 the white men are all bad men, and we will kill them all." 
 "Nay," says he, "you must not kill a man who has done 
 no harm, only for being white. This man is my friend ; 
 my house is his post ; I am his soldier, and must fight for 
 him ; you must kill me before you can kill him. What good 
 man will ever come again under my roof if I let my floor 
 be stained by a good man's blood ?" The negroes, seeing 
 his resolution, and being convinced by his discourse that they 
 were wrong, went away ashamed. In a few days Murray 
 ventured abroad again with his friend Cudjoe, when sev- 
 eral of them took him by the hand, and told him "they 
 were glad they had not killed him ; for he was a good 
 (meaning innocent) man : their God would have been very 
 angry, and would have spoiled their fishing." 
 
 Humanity. — Sir Philip Sidney, at the battle near Zutphen, 
 displayed the most undaunted courage. He had two horses 
 killed under him ; and, while mounting a third, was wound- 
 ed by a musket-shot out of the trenches, which broke the bone 
 of his thigh. He returned about a mile and a half on horse- 
 back to the camp, and being faint with the loss of blood, and, 
 probably, parched with thirst through the heat of the weather 
 he called for drink. It was presently brought him ; but, as he 
 
356 ANECDOTES. 
 
 was putting the vessel to his mouth, a poor wounded soldier, 
 who happened to be carried by him at that instant, looked 
 up to him with a wishful eye. The gallant and generous 
 Sidney took the bottle from his mouth just when he was go- 
 ing to drink, and delivered it to the soldier, saying, " Thy 
 necessity is yet greater than mine !" 
 
 Time. — " An Italian philosopher," says Dr. Johnson, " ex- 
 pressed in his motto that time was his estate ; an estate, 
 indeed, which will produce nothing without cultivation, but 
 will always abundantly repay the labours of industry, and 
 satisfy the most extensive desires, if no part of it be suffered 
 to be wasted by negligence, to be overrun with noxious plants, 
 or laid out for show rather than for use" 
 
 The Philosopher Outdone. — A learned philosopher be- 
 ing very busy in his study, a little girl came to ask him for 
 some fire. " But," says the doctor, " you have nothing to 
 take it in ;" and as he was going to fetch something for that 
 purpose, the little girl stooped down at the fireplace, and ta- 
 king some cold ashes in one hand, she put live embers on 
 them with the other. The astonished doctor threw down 
 his books, saying, " With all my learning I should never have 
 found out that expedient." 
 
 INFLUENCE OF THE PASSIONS. 
 
 The powerful influence of the passions and affections upon 
 the human frame is astonishing. How many instances are 
 there upon record of sudden death having been occasioned 
 by the hasty communication of joyful tidings ! " Like a 
 stroke of electricity," says Dr. Cogan, " indiscreetly directed, 
 the violent percussion has probably produced a paralysis of 
 the heart, by the excess of its stimulus." 
 
 Pliny informs us that Chilo, the Lacedaemonian, died upon 
 hearing that his son had gained a prize in the Olympic games. 
 
 Valerius Maximus tells us that Sophocles, in a contest of 
 honour, died in consequence of a decision being pronounced 
 in his favour. 
 
 Aulus Gellius mentions a remarkable instance of the effect 
 of accumulated joy. Diagora had three sons, who were all 
 crowned on the same day as victors ; the one as a pugilist, 
 the other as a wrestler, and the third in both capacities. The 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 357 
 
 sons carried their father on their shoulders through an in- 
 credible number of spectators, who threw flowers by hand- 
 fuls on him, and applauded his glory and good fortune ; but, 
 in the midst of all the congratulations of the populace, he 
 died in the arms and embraces of his sons. 
 
 Livy also mentions an instance of an aged matron, who, 
 while she was in the depth of distress from the tidings of 
 her son's having been slain in battle, died in his arms in 
 the excess of joy upon his safe return. 
 
 The Italian historian Guicciardini tells us that Leo X. 
 died of a fever occasioned by the agitation of his spirits on 
 his receiving the joyful news of the capture of Milan, con- 
 cerning which he had entertained much anxiety. 
 
 It is said of a nobleman in the reign of Henry the Eighth, 
 that when a pardon was sent him a few hours before the 
 time which was fixed for his execution, that, not expecting 
 it, it so transported him that he died for joy. 
 
 What an effect has grief also produced on the body ! Ex- 
 cessive sorrow has been the cause of sudden death, of con- 
 firmed melancholy, loss of memory, imbecility of mind, of 
 nervous fevers, of hypochondriac complaints, and the loss of 
 appetite. 
 
 Plautius, looking on his dead wife, threw himself upon 
 her dead body and presently died. 
 
 " I knew a woman," says one, " who, upon only hearing 
 of the death of one of her friends, shrieked out, and imme- 
 diately fell down and died." 
 
 The Duchess of Burgundy, a princess of the house of 
 Savoy (wife to the grandson of Louis XIV.), one day said 
 to her husband, " As the hour of my dissolution is now draw- 
 ing near, and I know you will not be able to live without a 
 wife, I should be glad to know whom it is your intention to 
 marry." " I hope," said the duke, " that God will never in- 
 flict so severe a punishment on me as to deprive me of you ; 
 but, should I experience such a misfortune, I should not, 
 most certainly, think of taking a second wife, since, being 
 unable to support your death, I should follow you in less than 
 a week." The duke died of grief on the seventh day after 
 the decease of the duchess. 
 
 Mozart's " Requiem." — The great composer, Mozart, 
 was so absorbed in music, that he % was a child in every other 
 respect. Like all weak-minded people, he was extremely 
 apprehensive of death ; and it was only by incessant appli- 
 cation to his favourite study that he prevented his spirits 
 
358 ANECDOTES. 
 
 from sinking totally under the fears of approaching dissolu- 
 tion. At all other times he laboured under a profound mel- 
 ancholy, during which he composed some of his best pieces, 
 particularly his celebrated Requiem ; the circumstances at- 
 tending it were remarkable. 
 
 One day, when his spirits were unusually oppressed, a 
 stranger of a tall, dignified appearance was introduced. 
 His manners were grave and impressive. He told Mozart 
 that he came from a person who did not wish to be known, 
 to request he would compose a solemn mass, as a requiem 
 for the soul of a friend whom he had recently lost, and whose 
 memory he was desirous of commemorating by this solemn 
 service. Mozart undertook the task, and engaged to have it 
 completed in a month. The stranger begged to know what 
 price he set upon his work ; and immediately paying him 
 one hundred ducats, he departed. The mystery of this visit 
 seemed to have a very strong effect upon the mind of the 
 musician. He brooded over it for some time ; and then, 
 suddenly calling for writing materials, began to compose with 
 extraordinary ardour. This application, however, was more 
 than his strength could support : it brought on fainting-fits, 
 and his increasing illness obliged him to suspend his work. 
 " I am writing the requiem for myself," said he one day to 
 his wife, " it will serve for my own funeral service ;" and 
 this impression never afterward left him. At the expira- 
 tion of the month, the mysterious stranger appeared and de- 
 manded the Requiem. " I have found it impossible," said 
 Mozart, " to keep my word ; the work has interested me 
 more than I expected, and I have extended it beyond my 
 first design. I shall require another month to finish it." 
 The stranger made no objection ; but observing that for this 
 additional trouble it was but just to increase the premium, 
 laid down fifty ducats more, and promised to return at the 
 time appointed. Astonished at his whole proceeding, Mo- 
 zart ordered a servant to follow this singular personage, and, 
 if possible, to find out who he was ; the man, however, lost 
 sight of him, and was obliged to return as he went. Mo- 
 zart, now more than ever persuaded that he was a messen- 
 ger from the other world, sent to warn him that his end was 
 approaching, applied with fresh zeal to the Requiem ; and 
 in spite of his exhausted state both of body and mind, he 
 completed it before the end of the month. At the appointed 
 day the stranger returned ; the Requiem was finished, but 
 Mozart was no more ! 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 359 
 
 Curing a Hypochondriac. — A gentleman who had for a 
 long time fancied himself dying of a liver complaint, was 
 advised by Dr. Crawford, of Baltimore, to make an excur- 
 sion into the State of Ohio. After travelling three months, 
 he returned home, apparently in good health ; but, upon re- 
 ceiving information of the death of a twin-brother, who had 
 actually died of a scirrhous liver, he immediately staggered, 
 and, falling down, cried out that he was dead ; and had, as 
 he always expected, died of a liver complaint. Dr. Craw- 
 ford being sent for, immediately attended ; and, on being in- 
 formed of the notion which had seized the hypochondriac, 
 immediately exclaimed, " Oh, yes, the gentleman is certainly 
 dead, and it is more probable his liver was the death of him. 
 However, to ascertain the fact, I will hasten to cut him open 
 before putrefaction takes place." He called for a carving- 
 knife, and whetting it as a butcher would to open a dead 
 calf, he stepped up to him and began to open his waistcoat. 
 The hypochondriac became so horribly frightened that he 
 leaped up with the agility of a rabbit, and crying out, " Mur- 
 der! murder! murder!" ran off with the speed that would 
 have defied a score of doctors to catch him. After running 
 a considerable distance, until he was almost exhausted, he 
 halted ; and, not finding the doctor at his heels, soon became 
 composed. From that period this gentleman was never 
 known to complain of his liver, nor had he, for more than 
 twenty years afterward, any symptoms of this disease. 
 
 The Dead Alive. — Some hypochondriacs have fancied 
 themselves miserably afflicted in one way, and some in an- 
 other ; some have insisted that they were teapots, and some 
 that they were town-clocks ; one that he was extremely ill, 
 and another that he was actually dying. But perhaps none 
 of this blue-devil class ever matched in extravagance a pa- 
 tient of the late Dr. Stevenson, of Baltimore. 
 
 This hypochondriac, after ringing the change of every mad 
 conceit that ever tormented a crazy brain, would have it at 
 last that he was dead, actually dead. Dr. Stevenson, having 
 been sent for one morning in great haste by the wife of his 
 patient, hastened to his bedside, where he found him stretched 
 out at full length, his hands across his breast, his toes in 
 contact, his eyes and mouth closely shut, and his looks ca- 
 daverous. 
 
 " Well, sir, how do you do ? how do you do this morn- 
 ing?" asked Dr. Stevenson, in a jocular way, approaching 
 his bed. " How do I do !" replied the hypochondriac, faint- 
 

 360 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ly ; "a pretty question to ask a dead man." " Dead !" re- 
 plied the doctor. " Yes, sir, dead, quite dead. I died last 
 night about twelve o'clock." 
 
 Dr. Stevenson, putting his hand gently on the forehead of 
 the hypochondriac, as if to ascertain whether it was cold, 
 and also feeling his pulse, exclaimed, in a doleful note, " Yes, 
 the poor man is dead enough : 'tis all over with him, and 
 now the sooner he can be buried the better." Then stepping 
 up to his wife, and whispering to her not to be frightened at 
 the measures he was about to take, he called to the servant. 
 " My boy, your poor master is dead, and the sooner he can 
 
 be put in the ground the better. Run to C m, for I 
 
 know he always keeps New-England coffins by him ready 
 made ; and, do you hear, bring a coffin of the largest size, 
 for your master makes a stout corpse ; and having died last 
 night, and the weather being warm, he will not keep long." 
 
 Away went the servant, and soon returned with a proper 
 coffin. The wife and family, having got their lesson from 
 the doctor, gathered round him, and howled not a little while 
 they were putting the body in the coffin. Presently the 
 pall-bearers, who were quickly provided and let into the se- 
 cret, started with the hypochondriac for the churchyard. 
 They had not gone far before they were met by one of the 
 town's people, who, having been properly drilled by Steven- 
 son, cried out, "Ah, doctor, what poor soul have you go, 
 there ?" 
 
 " Poor Mr. B ," sighed the doctor, " left us last night." 
 
 " Great pity he had not left us twenty years ago," replied 
 the other; "he was a bad man." 
 
 Presently another of the townsmen met them with the 
 same question : " And what poor soul have you got there, 
 doctor ?" 
 
 " Poor Mr. B ," answered the doctor again, " is dead." 
 
 " Ah ! indeed," said the other ; " and so he is gone to meet 
 his deserts at last." 
 
 " Oh, villain !" exclaimed the man in the coffin. 
 
 Soon after this, while the pall-bearers were resting them- 
 selves near the churchyard, another stepped up with the old 
 question again, " What poor soul have you there, doctor ? ' 
 
 " Poor Mr. B ," he replied, " is gone." 
 
 "Yes, and to the bottomless pit," said the other; "for if 
 he is not gone there, I see not what use there is for such a 
 place." Here the dead man, bursting ofT the lid of the cof- 
 fin, which had been purposely left loose, leaped out, exclaim- 
 ing, " Oh, you villain ! I am gone to the bottomless pit, am 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 361 
 
 I ? Well, I have come back again to pay such ungrateful 
 rascals as you are." A chase was immediately commenced 
 by the dead man after the living, to the petrifying consterna- 
 tion of many of the spectators, at the sight of a corpse, in all 
 the horrors of the winding-sheet, running through the streets. 
 After having exercised himself into a copious perspiration by 
 the fantastic race, the hypochondriac was brought home by 
 Dr. Stevenson freed from all his complaints ; and by strength 
 ening food, generous wine, cheerful company, and moderate 
 exercise, was soon restored to perfect health. 
 
 A Benevolent Sailor. — Two brothers, the one a carman, 
 the other a sailor, had been confined for misdemeanor some 
 time in the King's Bench prison. They applied to the court 
 to be discharged, but were opposed by the prosecutor. The 
 court directed the sailor to be released, but the carman was 
 ordered to be continued in confinement. When this sentence 
 was passed, the sailor addressed the court as follows : " My 
 lords, my brother has a wife and seven children, who may 
 starve while he is not working. I have neither wife nor 
 child ; if your lordship will be so kind as to let him go, and 
 permit me to stay in jail for him, I shall be very much obliged 
 to your lordship." Lord Mansfield immediately called to 
 the prosecutor's counsel to say whether, after such a speech 
 as this, he could press for the confinement of either of the 
 men. The counsel replied, " I should be ashamed to do it." 
 Upon this his lordship told the sailor he was a benevolent 
 fellow, and that he and his brother should both be discharged ; 
 which was accordingly done. 
 
 The late Admiral Colpoys, who rose to the highest rank 
 and honours in his profession from his own merits and ex- 
 ertions alone, used to be fond of stating, that on his first 
 leaving his humble lodgings to join his ship as a midship- 
 man, his landlady presented him with a Bible and a guinea, 
 saying, " God bless and prosper you, my lad ; and, as long as 
 you live, never suffer yourself to be laughed out of your money 
 or your prayers !" Advice which he sedulously followed 
 through life. 
 
 A True King. — When Dr. Franklin applied to the King 
 of Prussia to lend his assistance to America, " Pray, doc- 
 tor," says the veteran, " what is the object you mean to at- 
 tain ?" " Liberty ! sire," replied the philosopher of Philadel- 
 phia ; " liberty ! that freedom which is the birthright of man." 
 16 Z z 
 

 362 ANECDOTES. 
 
 The king, after a short pause, made this memorable and king- 
 ly answer : " I was born a prince, I am become a king, and 
 I will not use the power which I possess to the ruin of my 
 own trade." 
 
 Instability. — Xerxes crowned his footmen in the morn- 
 ing, and beheaded them in the evening of the same day ; and 
 Andromecus, the Greek emperor, crowned his admiral in 
 the morning, and then took off his head in the afternoon. 
 Roffensis had a cardinal's hat sent to him, but his head was 
 cut off before it came to hand ! Most say of their crowns, 
 as a certain king said of his, " Oh crown ! more noble than 
 happy !" It was a just complaint which long ago was made 
 against the heathen gods, Ofaciles dare summa Deos eadem- 
 que tueri difficiles ! They could give their favourites great 
 gifts, but they could not maintain them in the possession of 
 them. 
 
 Curiosity Reproved. — " Vain curiosity ought not to be 
 indulged ; and when it. is, it seldom escapes punishment." 
 
 Nitocris, a celebrated queen of Babylon, ordered herself 
 to be buried over one of the gates of the city, and placed an 
 inscription on her tomb which signified that her successor 
 would find great treasures within if ever they were in need 
 of money, but that their labours would be ill repaid if ever 
 they ventured to open it without necessity. Cyrus opened 
 it through curiosity, and was struck to find within these 
 words : " If thy avarice had not been insatiable, thou never 
 wouldst have violated the monuments of the dead." 
 
 Natural Disposition. — It is said of the Rev. Mr. Clarke, 
 of Chesham Bois, that when one observed to him " there 
 was a good deal in a person's natural disposition," he made 
 this answer : " Natural disposition ! Why, I am naturally as 
 irritable as any; but when I find anger, or passion, or any 
 other evil temper arise in my mind, immediately I go to 
 my Redeemer, and, confessing my sins, I give myself up to 
 be managed by him. This is the way that I have taken to 
 get the mastery of my passions." 
 
 Vulgarity Outwitted. (By Billy Hibbard.) — "While 
 Mr. Hibbard was in his own vicinity on a day of some town 
 business, he says, " I, with several others, left the cold meet- 
 ing-house to go into a tavern near by to warm ourselves 
 There were many in the large bar-room seated around, while 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 363 
 
 one was walking up and down the room, strutting in ruffles 
 and gloves, and swearing profanely, seemingly to the full ap- 
 probation of all present. As he came towards the place where 
 I was standing, he kept up his swearing, and I tapped him 
 
 gently on the shoulder, and said softly, ' Mr. , don't 
 
 swear so ;' at which he turned round and uttered an oath, 
 and called me a d — n fool. 'Why, Hibbard,' said he, 'you 
 used to be a likely, bright young man till you met with these 
 Methodists ; but they have made a d — n fool of you.' I 
 held down my head as though I was very sorry for what I 
 had done. The company were all laughing to hear him give 
 it down to me. After he had given me his last piece of ad- 
 vice, not to reprove a gentleman, &c, I looked up at him, 
 and making my bow, said, ' Mister, I ask your pardon ; I 
 believe I have crowded a little upon that rule of Scripture 
 which says, " Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they 
 turn again and rend you ;" but I have done it ignorantly, for I 
 did not know that you were a hog.' At this the laugh turned 
 in my favour, while my seriousness awed them into due 
 respect. I never heard Mr. swear afterward." 
 
 We must Live. — That was a pertinent and emphatical 
 reply which a fellow of Emanuel College, in Cambridge, 
 made to a friend of his of the same college. The latter, at 
 the Restoration, had been representing the great difficulties 
 (as they seemed to him) of conformity in point of conscience, 
 concluding, however, with these words, " But we must live." 
 To which the other answered only with the like number of 
 words, " But we must (also) die." Than which a better 
 answer could not possibly be given. Let those whom it 
 may concern weigh the answer well. 
 
 We must Die. — When Garrick showed Dr. Johnson his 
 fine house, gardens, statues, pictures, &c, at Hampton 
 Court, what ideas did they awaken in the mind of that great 
 man ? Instead of a flattering compliment, which was ex- 
 pected, " Ah ! David, David, David," said the doctor, clap- 
 ping his hand upon the little man's shoulder, " these are the 
 things which make a deathbed terrible." 
 
 Louis XI. — Louis XI. of France was so fearful of death, 
 that, as often as it came into his physician's head to threaten 
 him with death, he put money into his hands to pacify him 
 His physician is said to have got 55,000 crowns from him 
 in five months. 
 
364 ANECDOTES. 
 
 " I have heard of a man," says Gurnall, " that would never 
 be present at any funeral ; he could not even bear the sight 
 of any of his own gray hairs, and, therefore, used a black 
 lead comb to discolour them, lest by these the thoughts of 
 death, which he abhorred, should crowd in upon him." 
 
 The Fool's Reproof. — * There was a certain nobleman,'' 
 says Bishop Hall, " who kept a fool, to whom he one day 
 gave a staff, with a charge to keep it till he should meet 
 with one who was a greater fool than himself. Not many 
 years after the nobleman fell sick even unto death. The 
 fool came to see him ; his sick lord said unto him, * I must 
 shortly leave you.' ' And whither are you going ?' ' Into 
 another world,' replied his lordship. 'And when will you 
 come again ? within a month V ' No.' ' Within a year V 
 ' No.' \ When then V ' Never.' ' Never !' said the fool ; 
 1 and what provision hast thou made for thy entertainment 
 there whither thou goest ?' ' None at all.' ' No V said the 
 fool, 'none at all ! Here, then, take my staff; for, with all 
 my folly, I am not guilty of any such folly as this.'" 
 
 Pious Philosopher. — Mr. Robert Hooke, the mathema- 
 tician and philosopher, seldom received any remarkable ben- 
 efit in life, or made any considerable discovery in nature, or 
 invented any useful contrivance, or found out any difficult 
 problem, without setting down his acknowledgment to God. 
 How amiable is Philosophy when she walks by the side of 
 her elder sister Religion ! 
 
 Human Nature. — When some one was talking before 
 that acute Scotchman, Doctor Cheyne, of the excellence of 
 human nature, " Hoot, hoot, mon" said he, " human nature 
 is a rogue and a scoundrel, or why would it perpetually 
 stand in need of laws and religion ?" And, surely, if a 
 cause be examined by its effect, if a principle be considered 
 by its operation, that man must indeed be blind who will 
 not acknowledge the depravity of human nature. 
 
 Free Will. — Dr. Gill once preaching on human inability, 
 a gentleman present was much offended, and took him to 
 task for degrading human nature. "Pray, sir," said the 
 doctor, " what do you think that men can contribute to their 
 own conversion ?" He enumerated a variety of particulars. 
 1 And have you done all this ?" said the doctor. " Why, 
 no, I can't say I have yet ; but I hope I shall begin soon." 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 365 
 
 " If you have these things in your power and have not done 
 them, you deserve to be doubly damned, and are but ill 
 qualified to be an advocate for free-will, which has done you 
 so little good." 
 
 The Condescending General. — A certain general hap- 
 pened to observe a common soldier distinguish himself, on 
 the day of battle, with unusual activity and courage. Deter- 
 mined to reward merit wherever it was found, he advanced 
 the brave plebeian to a captain's post. The latter had not 
 long enjoyed the honour before he came to his benefactor, 
 and, with a dejected countenance, begged leave to resign his 
 commission. The general, surprised at such an unexpected 
 request, asked him the reason. " Your officers," said the 
 petitioner, "being gentlemen of family and education, think 
 it beneath them to associate or converse with a rustic. So 
 that now I am abandoned on every side, and am less happy 
 since my preferment than I was before this instance of your 
 highness's favour." " Is that the cause of your uneasiness ?" 
 inquired the general. " Then it shall be redressed, and that 
 very speedily. To-morrow I shall review the army, and to- 
 morrow your business shall be done." Accordingly, when 
 the troops were drawn up, and expected every moment to 
 begin their exercise, the general called the young hero from 
 the ranks, leaned his hand upon his shoulder, and, in this fa- 
 miliar and endearing position, walked with him through all 
 the lines. The stratagem had its desired effect. After such 
 a signal and public token of the prince's regard, the officers 
 were emulous of his acquaintance, and courted rather than 
 shunned his company. 
 
 We may apply this to the case of many poor Christians. 
 Will not the favour of the blessed Jesus give us as great a 
 distinction and as high a recommendation in the heavenly 
 world ? Will not the angelic hosts respect and honour those 
 persons who appear washed in his blood, clothed with his 
 righteousness, and wearing the most illustrious token of his 
 love that he himself could possibly give ? 
 
 In these tokens of his love may we be found ! Then 
 shall we meet one another with courage and comfort at the 
 great tribunal, with honour and joy amid the angels of light, 
 with everlasting exultation and rapture around the throne of 
 God and the Lamb ! 
 
 Expositors Despised. — A certain divine being asked 
 what he thought of a passage of Scripture, immediately 
 
366 ANECDOTES. 
 
 gave his sense of it ; and on the querist replying, " I be- 
 lieve, sir, expositors differ from you," he warmly answered, 
 " Don't tell me about expositors ; I know the sense I have 
 given to be the true one, for the Holy Spirit has taught me/ 
 A silencing argument this ! Who could reply to it ? 
 
 The Family Expositor. — Mr. W., a merchant of Bos- 
 ton, in America, according to his wonted liberality, sent a 
 present of chocolate, sugar, &c, to the Rev. Dr. B., with a 
 billet desiring his acceptance of it as a comment on Gal. vi., 
 6 : " Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto 
 him that teacheth in all good things." The doctor, who was 
 then confined by sickness, returned his compliments to Mr. 
 W., thanked him for his excellent Family Expositor, and 
 wished Mr. W. to give him a practical exposition of Matt, 
 xxv., 36 : "I was sick, and ye visited me." 
 
 A clergyman, once travelling in a stagecoach, was abruptly 
 asked by one of the passengers if any of the heathens would 
 go to heaven. " Sir," answered the clergyman, " 1 am not 
 appointed judge of the world, and, consequently, cannot tell ; 
 but, if ever you get to heaven, you shall either find some of 
 them there, or a good reason why they are not there." 
 
 A reply well fitted to answer an impertinent question, 
 dictated at best by idle curiosity. 
 
 Original Anecdote. — A venerable old gentleman, on 
 whose locks more than eighty winters had shed their snows, 
 being asked what were his religious sentiments now that 
 he was approaching the world of spirits, replied, " I was at 
 first a Baptist ; then' a kind of New Light; afterward a Con- 
 gregationalist ; now my only creed is, God be merciful to 
 me a sinner." 
 
 The late Rev. Mr. Buckminster, of Boston, so beloved 
 during his lifetime, and so much lamented at his early death, 
 sometimes indulged himself in the playfulness of wit. 
 Coming from a concert one exceedingly dark and slippery 
 night, he exclaimed, " Gentlemen, if you do not C sharp, you 
 will B flat." 
 
 Retort Courteous. — A few years since, a young clergy- 
 man, well known in this region, whose zeal was something 
 like that of Jehu's when on a journey to the East, was in 
 company with the venerable and pious Dr. Lathrop ; and 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 367 
 
 when, as he supposed, a proper opportunity presented for 
 manifesting his peculiar attachment to his master's cause, 
 he very abruptly said to the good doctor, " Well, old man, 
 have you got any religion ?" The doctor cast a very tender 
 and compassionate look, and replied, " Young man, J have 
 no religion to boast of." — Rochester Observer. 
 
 The Presence of God. — "You teach," said the Emper 
 or Trajan to Rabbi Joshua, "that your God is everywhere, 
 and boast that he resides among your nation. I should 
 like to see him." " God's presence is indeed everywhere," 
 replied Joshua, "but he cannot be seen; no mortal eye can 
 behold his glory." The emperor insisted. " Well," said 
 Joshua, " suppose we try to look first at one of his ambassa- 
 dors ?" The emperor consented. The rabbi took him into 
 the open air at noon day, and bid him look at the sun in its 
 meridian splendour. " I cannot," said Trajan ; " the light 
 dazzles me." " Thou art unable," said Joshua, " to endure 
 the light of one of his creatures, and canst thou expect to 
 behold the resplendent glory of the Creator ? Would not 
 such a sight destroy you ?" — Hebrew Tales. 
 
 A Sting in the Conscience. — " You will go with me 
 to hear our minister to-day ?" said a serious youth in humble 
 life to his younger brother. " Not to-day," was the answer ; 
 " certainly not to-day." " Why not to-day ?" asked the 
 
 other. " Because next week is the fair. I am sure Mr. 
 
 will preach against it to-day, and then I should not enjoy the 
 fair at all, for I should go with a sting in my conscience" 
 
 Do not many scoffers, and also many professors, who only 
 draw near to God with their lips, abstain from attending upon 
 faithful preachers, or even blame them upon this very ac- 
 count ? If they would, be as candid as this poor lad, would 
 not their hearts confess similar feelings to his ? Would they 
 not say, " I will not go to hear that preacher, for I am engaged 
 in vain pursuits ; I indulge in frivolous amusements ; I occu- 
 py all my time and talents in procuring needless riches. 
 That strict preacher will testify against these things ; and, if 
 I go and hear him, how can I enjoy these things, or engage 
 in them with spirit and pleasure, for I shall have 'A sting in 
 my conscience. 1 " 
 
 The Rev. John Fletcher. — " This evening I have buried 
 one of the warmest opposers of my ministry, a stout, strong 
 young man, aged twenty-four years. About three months 
 
368 ANECDOTES. 
 
 ago he came to the churchyard with a corpse, but refused to 
 come into the church. When the burial was over, I went 
 to him and mildly expostulated with him. His constant an- 
 swer was, ' That he had bound himself never to come to 
 church while I was there ;' adding, ' that he would take the 
 consequences,' &c. Seeing I got nothing, I left him,'say- 
 ing with uncommon warmth, though, as far as I can remem- 
 ber, without the least touch of resentment, ' I am clear of 
 your blood ; henceforth it is upon your own head ; you will 
 not come to church on your legs, prepare to come upon your 
 neighbours' shoulders.' He wasted from that time, and, to 
 my great surprise, hath been buried on the spot where we 
 were when the conversation passed between us. When I 
 visited him in his sickness, he seemed tame as a wolf in a 
 trap. Oh, may God have turned him into a sheep in his last 
 hours !" — Benson's Life of Fletcher, p. 85. 
 
 "Democritus. — We may learn a lesson here from a hea 
 then philosopher. 
 
 It is said of Democritus that he continually laughed at the 
 follies and vanities of mankind, who distract themselves with 
 care, and are at once a prey to hope and anxiety. He told 
 Darius, who was inconsolable for the loss of his wife, that he 
 would raise her from the dead if he could find three persons 
 who had gone through life without adversity, whose names 
 he might engrave on the queen's monument. The king's 
 inquiry to find such persons proved unavailing, and the phi- 
 losopher in some manner soothed the sorrow of his sovereign. 
 If a heathen could both dictate and practise submission, what 
 ought not a Christian to do 1 
 
 The Report Discredited. — A report once prevailed in 
 a certain town of Italy that the enemy was coming to storm 
 it; upon which the inhabitants made a law that forbade such 
 a report to be credited ; and, when the enemy really arrived, 
 no one mentioned it, or took up arms in his own defence, 
 and the town was easily taken. Thus it is with the impen- 
 itent ; they are taught to believe there is no danger, until at 
 last they are swept away without remedy. 
 
 Bishop Asbury. — Mr. Asbury being asked his thoughts 
 on imputed righteousness, observed, "Were I disposed to 
 boast, my boasting would be found true. I obtained religion 
 at the age of thirteen. At the age of sixteen I began to 
 preach, and travelled some time in Europe. At twenty-six 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 369 
 
 I left my native land, and bid adieu to my weeping parents, 
 and crossed the boisterous ocean to spend the balance of my 
 days in a strange land partly settled by savages. I have 
 travelled through heat and cold for forty-five years. In 
 thirty years I have crossed the Alleghany Mountains fifty- 
 eight times. I have often slept in the woods without neces- 
 sary food or raiment. In the Southern States I have waded 
 swamps and led my horse for miles, where I took colds that 
 brought on the diseases that are now preying on my system, 
 and must soon terminate in death. But my mind is still the 
 same ; that it is through the merits of Christ I am to be 
 saved." 
 
 God sees me. — Persons inclined to the sin of stealing are 
 satisfied if they can only be certain they shall not be dis- 
 covered. I once heard it related, that a man who was in 
 the habit of going to a neighbour's cornfield to steal the ears 
 one day took with him his son, a boy of eight years of 
 age. The father told him to hold the bag while he looked 
 if any one was near to see him. After standing on the fence 
 and peeping through all the corn-rows, he returned to take 
 the bag from the child, and began his guilty work. " Father," 
 said the boy, " you forgot to look somewhere else." The 
 man dropped the bag in a fright, and said, "Which way, 
 child V supposing he had seen some one. " You forgot 
 to look up to the sky to see if God was noticing you." The 
 father felt this reproof of the child so much that he left the 
 corn, returned home, and never again ventured to steal ; 
 remembering the truth his child had taught him, that the 
 eye of God always beholds us. " God sees me" is a thought 
 that would keep us from many evil acts if we tried con- 
 stantly to feel its truth. 
 
 Welsh Anecdote. On the Support of the Ministry. 
 — " Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse" A Welsh 
 clergyman, invited to assist in the ordination of a minister in 
 some part of England, was appointed to deliver the address 
 to the church and congregation ; and having been informed 
 that their previous minister had suffered much from pecu- 
 niary embarrassment, although the church was fully able to 
 support him comfortably, he took the following singular 
 method of administering reproof. 
 
 In his address to the church he remarked, " You have 
 been praying, no doubt, that God would send you a man after 
 his own heart to be your pastor. You have done well. 
 
 A A A 
 
370 ANECDOTES. 
 
 God, we hope, has heard your prayer, and given you such 
 a minister as he approves, who will go in and out before 
 you, and feed your souls with the bread of life. But now 
 you have prayed for a minister, and God has given you one 
 to your mind, you have something more to do ; you must 
 take care of him ; and, in order to his being happy among 
 you, I have been thinking you have need to pray again. 
 * Pray again ? Pray again ? What should we pray again for V 
 1 Well, I think you have need to pray again.' ' But for 
 what V ' Why, I'll tell you. Pray that God would put Ja 
 cob's ladder down to the earth again.' 'Jacob's ladder! 
 Jacob's ladder ! What has Jacob's ladder to do with our 
 minister ?' ' Why, I think, if God would put Jacob's ladder 
 down, that your minister could go up into heaven on the 
 Sabbath evening after preaching, and remain there all the 
 week ; then he could come down every Sabbath morning 
 so spiritually minded and so full of heaven, that he would 
 preach to you almost like an angel.' ' Oh, yes, that may be 
 all very well ; and, if it were possible, we should like it ; but, 
 then, we need our minister with us during the week, to at- 
 tend prayer-meetings, visit the sick, hear experience, give 
 advice, &c, &c, and, therefore, must have him always with 
 us ; we want the whole of his time and attention.' ' That 
 may be, and I will admit the necessity of his daily atten- 
 tions to your concerns ; but, then, you will remember, that 
 if he remains here he must have bread and cheese ; and I 
 have been told that your former minister was often wanting 
 the common necessaries of life, while many of you can en- 
 joy its luxuries ; and, therefore, I thought, if God would put 
 Jacob's ladder down, your present minister might preach to 
 you on the Sabbath, and, by going up into heaven after the 
 services of the day, save you the painful necessity of sup- 
 porting him.' " — Col. Star. 
 
 The Rich Man Confounded. — To be enabled to appro- 
 priate the Saviour as our wisdom, righteousness, sanctifica- 
 tion, and redemption, is of all enjoyments the greatest. The 
 possession of wealth, talents, power, and fame, all sink to 
 nothing when compared with this. The poorest, the most 
 obscure, therefore, with this, is infinitely more happy than 
 the most elevated without it. A gentleman one day took an 
 acquaintance of his upon the leads of his house to show him 
 the extent of his possession : waving his hand about, 
 " There," says he, " that is my estate." Then pointing to 
 a great distance on one side, " Do you see that farm ?" 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 371 
 
 " Yes." " Well, that is mine." Pointing again to the other 
 side, " Do you see that house ?" " Yes." " That also be- 
 longs to me." "Then," said his friend, "do you see that 
 little village out yonder?" "Yes." " Well, there lives a 
 poor woman in that village who can say more than all this." 
 " Ay ! what can she say ?" " Why, she can say, ' Christ 
 
 Interesting Anecdote. — A gentleman was known by 
 his nearest and dearest friend, his wife, never to lie down 
 upon his pillow some years before his death, or raise his 
 head from it in the morning, without repeating the short 
 hymn annexed to this anecdote ; and sometimes he would 
 inadvertently burst into ejaculations in company, when two 
 or three lines of it were distinctly heard before he could 
 recollect himself: the cause at that time was unknown ; but, 
 after his decease, a paper was found in his bureau to the 
 following purport : " You will no longer be surprised at my 
 involuntary effusions of feeble gratitude to the Almighty, 
 which broke forth occasionally in gay company, when you 
 shall read that many years since the dread of approaching 
 poverty, disgrace, humiliation, and desertion of friends had 
 brought me to the fatal resolution of putting an end to my 
 existence. Conscious that I had brought misfortune upon a 
 numerous family by my own imprudence, dissipation, and 
 pride, I considered my punishment as an act of justice. 
 The destined moment arrived ; already had I loaded, primed, 
 and cocked ; when, strange to relate ! though I had not read 
 a page in the Bible for years, a reflection came suddenly 
 across my mind ; ' Jesus of Nazareth,' said I to myself, 
 1 was a man (for I disbelieved in his divinity) acquainted 
 with sorrows, endured a life of poverty, was exposed to pub- 
 lic scorn and derision, suffered pain of body and agony of 
 mind, and had nothing to reproach himself with, yet this re- 
 former of the morals of mankind, this benefactor to society, 
 this illustrious pattern of fortitude, patience, and humility, 
 was, by an unthankful world, put to death : he was crucified ! 
 but he crucified not himself!' Repeating these last words 
 a second time with unusual energy, pride, disdain, shame, 
 and contempt of my inability humbly to imitate this striking 
 example of bearing afflictions manfully, produced a passion- 
 ate conflict of mind, in which paroxysm I madly flung the 
 pistol some distance from me ; to add to the affecting scene, 
 it went off, unheard but by my affectionate wife, who reli- 
 giously kept the secret: her consolations restored me to 
 
372 ANECDOTES. 
 
 temporary tranquillity, but the work of Providence was not 
 yet completed ; not a week had elapsed, and settled melan- 
 choly was again taking possession of my soul, when a letter 
 announced the death of a distant relation, and summoned 
 me to the reading of his will, by which he had bequeathed 
 me sufficient not only to clear me of all encumbrances, but 
 to enable me, with the assistance of a considerable surplus, 
 to exert my abilities in the line of my profession for the 
 genteel support of my family, and even to aim at a moderate 
 independence, which you will find I have at length acquired." 
 
 " Rise, oh my soul ! the hour review, 
 
 When, awed by guilt and fear, 
 Tho\i durst not Heaven for mercy sue, 
 
 Nor hope for pity here ! 
 Dried are thy tears, thy griefs are fled, 
 
 Dispell'd each bitter care ; 
 For Heaven itself did send its aid, 
 
 To snatch thee from despair ! 
 Then here, oh God, thy work fulfil ; 
 
 And from thy mercy's throne 
 Vouchsafe me strength to do thy will, 
 
 And to resist my own. 
 So shall my soul each power employ 
 
 Thy mercies to adore, 
 While Heaven itself proclaims with joy 
 
 One rescued sinner more !" 
 
 Heaven. — When Anaxagoras was accused of not study- 
 ing politics for his country's good, he replied, " I have a 
 very great care of my country," pointing up to heaven. So 
 a Christian looks upon heaven as his country, and considers 
 himself as a stranger and pilgrim here on earth ; nor will 
 his heavenly-mindedness detract from his patriotism, for he 
 is the best friend to order and happiness on earth whose af- 
 fections are most set on things in heaven. 
 
 The idolatrous temple of Diana was so bright and splen- 
 did, that the doorkeeper always cried to them that entered 
 in, " Take heed to your eyes." But what faculties of vision 
 must we have to behold the glory of the Temple above ! 
 If it is said that the righteous themselves shall shine forth as 
 the sun, what will be the splendour of the Eternal Throne ? 
 
 A distinguished character in a neighbouring nation had 
 an extraordinary mark of distinction and honour sent him by 
 his prince as he lay on his deathbed. "Alas!" said he, 
 looking coldly upon it, " this is a mighty fine thing in this 
 country ; but I am just going to a country where it will be 
 of no service to me." 
 
 Plays. — " He that is not satisfied," says Bishop Wilson. 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 373 
 
 l< that plays are an unlawful diversion, let him, if he dare, 
 offer up this prayer to God before he goes : ' Lord, lead me 
 not into temptation, and bless me in what I am now to be 
 employed.' " There are many other occupations and amuse- 
 ments in which the same advice is worth attending to. 
 
 Human Reason. — While human reason is not to be de 
 spised, we must ever remember it is not to be idolized. 
 Man, in his present state, is a disordered being; his under- 
 standing is clouded, and his reasoning powers are injured by 
 the fall. To suppose we can know everything, and espe- 
 cially divine things, by the mere effort of reason, is absurd. 
 Revelation, as it was necessary, so it has been vouchsafed 
 to mankind ; those, therefore, who take this as their rule, 
 are certain to obtain true knowledge ; but those who refuse 
 it must still wander on in error. As divine revelation is 
 given, so divine influence is promised. As all systems, both 
 in creation and Providence, are maintained and carried on 
 by a constant supernatural energy, so the mind lies dead, 
 dark, and insensible until it becomes the subject of divine 
 operation. 
 
 Several learned men tried to persuade a great scholar to 
 believe in Christianity, but it seems all their labour was in 
 vain. A plain honest person, however, managed the argu- 
 ment in a different manner, by referring not so much to 
 logical reasoning as to the work of the Divine Spirit; so that 
 at last the scholar exclaimed, " When I heard no more than 
 human reason, I opposed it with human reason ; but when I 
 heard the Spirit, I was obliged to surrender." Thus it is 
 that the wisest, trusting to their own wisdom, are lost ; while 
 those who are taught of the Spirit know the way of God in 
 truth. 
 
 Pause. — It is said of a captain, of whom historians have 
 taken more care to record the wisdom than the name, that 
 he required the Emperor Charles V. to discharge him from 
 his service. Charles asked the reason. The prudent sol- 
 dier replied, " Because there ought to be a pause between 
 the hurry of life and the day of death." 
 
374 ANECDOTES. 
 
 INFIDELITY AND INFIDELS. 
 
 An Atheist. — An Atheist is an overgrown libertine ; and, 
 if we believe his own genealogy, he is a by-blow begot by 
 hazard, and flung into the world by necessity ; he moves by 
 wheels, and has no more soul than a windmill ; he is thrust 
 on by fate, and acts by mere compulsion ; he is no more 
 master of his deeds than of his being, and, therefore, is as 
 constant to his word as the wind to the same point ; so that 
 an Atheist, by his principles, is a knave per se and an honest 
 man per accidens. In fine, he starts out of dust and van 
 ishes into nothing. 
 
 Feeling of Infidels. — One of the most sensible men I 
 ever knew, says one, but whose life as well as creed had 
 been rather eccentric, returned me the following answer, not 
 many months before his death, when I asked him " whether 
 his former irregularities were not both accompanied at the 
 time and succeeded afterward by some sense of mental 
 pain." "Yes," said he, "but I have scarce ever owned it 
 until now. We" (meaning we infidels and men of fashiona- 
 ble morals) " do not tell you all that passes in our hearts !" 
 
 Another. — An instance of the power of conscience we 
 have in Lord Rochester. " One day," says he, " I was at 
 an atheistical meeting at a person's of quality : I under- 
 took to manage the cause, and was the principal disputant 
 against God and piety, and for my performance received the 
 applause of the whole company ; upon which my mind was 
 terribly struck, and I immediately applied to myself, * Good 
 God ! that a man that walks upright, that sees the wonderful 
 works of God, and has the use of his senses and reason, 
 should use them to the defying of his Creator.' " 
 
 Impiety. — Louis IX. actually stopped a priest, who, after 
 having prayed for the health of his body, was beginning to 
 implore Heaven for his future welfare : "Hold ! hold !" cried 
 he, " you have gone far enough for once. Never be tire- 
 some in your address to God Almighty. Stop now, and pray 
 for my soul another time." 
 
 How true is Rom. viii., 7 ? — A certain gentleman in 
 France, having feasted high on sensual gratifications, said, 
 " Let God Almighty give me all the good things in Paris, 
 

 MISCELLANEOUS. 375 
 
 and secure me from the monster death, and he may keep his 
 heaven to himself and welcome." 
 
 Henry II. hearing Mentz, his chief city was taken, used 
 this blasphemous speech : " I shall never," said he, " love 
 God any more, that suffered a city so dear to me to be taken 
 
 Collins. — Collins, though he had no belief in Chris- 
 tianity, yet qualified himself for civil office by partaking of 
 the Lord's Supper ; Shaftesbury did the same ; and the 
 same is done by hundreds of infidels to this day. Yet these 
 are the men who are continually declaiming against the hy- 
 pocrisy of priests ! 
 
 Scoffers Reproved. — Another of the same insolent 
 tribe once accosted a poor but pious woman by saying, 
 " So, I find you are one of those fools who believe in the 
 Bible !" "Yes," said she, " and with good reason, while so 
 many infidels exist to prove the truth of its testimony, that 
 in every age there will be a generation of fools like you to 
 blaspheme it /" 
 
 The following is very laconic, but worthy to be observed : 
 A rake went into a church and tried to decoy a girl by say- 
 ing, " Why do you attend to such stuff as these Scriptures ?" 
 " Because," said she, " they tell me that in the last days there 
 shall come such scoffers as you !" Well said, truly ! ! 
 
 Ignorant Infidel. — Men of infidel principles are some- 
 times as ignorant as they are impertinent. One of this sort 
 was making himself merry in a large company, at the ex- 
 pense of the Scriptures, and told his companions that he 
 could prove the prophet of the Christians (as he called 
 Christ) mistaken, even upon the most common subjects. 
 After awakening the curiosity of the company, he thus grat- 
 ified it. " Christ says that old bottles are not so strong as 
 new (alluding to Matt, ix., 17), and, therefore, if new wine 
 is put into old bottles, it will break them. Now, don't every- 
 body know that old glass is just as strong as new ? for who 
 ever heard that glass was the weaker for being old ?" 
 
 A clergyman in company, who had been made the butt 
 of his wit, gently reproved the ignorance and folly of this 
 witling by asking him if he understood Greek. " Greek, 
 sir ! no, sir ; but what has Greek to do with it ? A bottle 
 is a bottle, whether it be in Greek or English ; everybody 
 knows that an old bottle is just as good and as strong as a 
 
376 ANECDOTES. 
 
 new one." " Not quite, sir," replied the other; " if they are 
 made of leather or skins, as the fact was as to the bottles 
 Christ speaks of, as the Greek name imports ; and, indeed, it 
 is so in many countries even to this day, that people use 
 skins by way of vessels to contain wine." On which side 
 the laughter of the company turned is not very difficult to 
 conceive. We may here learn that the knowledge of the 
 original languages in which the Scriptures are written is of 
 no small utility to a Christian minister. 
 
 To a young infidel, who was scoffing at Christianity be- 
 cause of the misconduct of its professors, the late Dr. Mason 
 said, " Did you ever know an uproar to be made because an 
 infidel went astray from the paths of morality ?" The infidel 
 admitted that he had not. " Then don't you see," said Dr. 
 M., " that, by expecting the professors of Christianity to be 
 holy, you admit it to be a holy religion, and thus pay it the 
 highest compliment in your power ?" The young man was 
 silent. 
 
 Voltaire. — The hero of modern infidels, we are informed, 
 when he came to die, was in the greatest horror. When the 
 doctor came he exclaimed, "I am abandoned by God and man. 
 Doctor, I will give you half of what I am worth if you will 
 give me six months life." The doctor answered, " Sir, you 
 cannot live six weeks." Voltaire replied, " Then I shall go 
 to hell, and you will go with me !" and soon expired. 
 
 The Infidel Corrected. — A young gentleman of mod- 
 erate understanding, but of great vivacity, by dipping into 
 many authors of the modish and freethinking turn, had ac- 
 quired a little smattering of knowledge, just enough to make 
 an Atheist or a Freethinker, but not a philosopher or a man 
 of sense. With these accomplishments he went into the 
 country to visit his father, who was a plain, rough, honest 
 man, and wise, though not learned. The son, who took all 
 opportunities to show his learning, began to establish a new 
 religion in the family, and to enlarge the narrowness of their 
 country notions ; in which he succeeded so well that he se- 
 duced the butler by his table-talk, and staggered his eldest 
 sister. The old gentleman began to be alarmed at the 
 schisms that arose among his children, but did not yet be- 
 lieve his son's doctrine to be so pernicious as it really was, 
 till one day, talking of his setting dog, the son said he did not 
 question but Carlo was as immortal as any one of the family ; 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 377 
 
 and, in the heat of the argument, told his father that, for his 
 part, he expected to die like a dog. Upon which the old 
 man, starting up in a passion, cried out, " Then, sirrah, you 
 shall live like one;" and, taking his cane in his hand, cud- 
 gelled him out of his system, and brought him to more seri- 
 ous reflections and better studies. 
 
 " I do not," continues Sir Richard Steele, from whom this 
 story is taken, " mention the cudgelling part of the story 
 with a design to engage the secular arm in matters of this 
 nature ; but certainly, if it ever exerts itself in affairs of opin- 
 ion and speculation, it ought to do it on such shallow and 
 despicable pretenders to knowledge, who endeavour to give 
 a man dark and uncomfortable prospects of his being, and 
 to destroy those principles which are the support, happiness, 
 and glory of all public societies as well as of private persons." 
 
 Gibbon. — The late celebrated Mr. Gibbon, just before his 
 death, confessed that " when he considered all worldly 
 things, they were all fleeting ; when he looked back, they 
 had been fleeting ; when he looked forward, all was dark 
 and doubtful" Surely no one can wish to be an infidel for 
 the comfort of it ! 
 
 Remarks of Cecil. — " My heart has yearned," says M. 
 Cecil, " at marking a great man, wise in his generation, 
 skilfully holding the reins of a vast enterprise, grasping with 
 a mighty mind its various relations, and penetrating with an 
 eagle's eye into — what ? everything but himself. A fallen 
 spirit in a disordered world ! Having a day of salvation, 
 and that neglected ! How natural was the dying language 
 of such a one when he cried out, ' The battle is fought, the 
 battle is fought ; but the victory is lost for ever /' 
 
 " Alas ! how many celebrated geniuses, how many deep 
 philosophers, how many splendid conquerors shall awake in 
 eternity from their vain dreams of glory ; each wishing he 
 had been an idiot, or even a brute, that he might never 
 have been eternally a wretch, responsible for talents and 
 privileges neglected and abused !" — See Rev. Mr. Cecil's 
 Sermon entitled " The true Patriot." 
 
 Influence of Infidelity. — Infidelity is not only shock- 
 ing as to its nature, but every way injurious as to its tend- 
 ency. The following instance is a confirmation of it. A 
 servant who waited at the table of Mr. M., often hearing this 
 subject brought forward, at last became as great an adept in 
 
 Bbb 
 
378 ANECDOTES. 
 
 these principles as his master ; and being thoroughly con- 
 vinced that for any of his misdeeds he should have no after- 
 account to make, was resolved to profit by the doctrine, and 
 made off with many things of value, particularly the plate. 
 He was, however, so closely pursued, that he was brought 
 back with his prey to his master's house, who examined him 
 before some select friends. At first the man was sullen, and 
 would answer no questions ; but being urged to give a rea- 
 son for his infamous behaviour, he resolutely said, " I had 
 heard you so often talk of the impossibility of a future state, 
 and that, after death, there was no reward for virtue or pun- 
 ishment for vice, that I was tempted to commit the robbery." 
 " Well, but, you rascal," replied Mallet, " had you no fear 
 of the gallows ?" " Sir," said the fellow, looking sternly at 
 his master, " what is that to you ? If I had a mind to ven- 
 ture that, you had removed my greatest terror ; why should 
 I fear the least ?" 
 
 The Caviller Reproved. — A certain man went to a der- 
 vis and proposed three questions. 1st. Why do they say 
 that God is omnipresent ? I do not see him in any place ; 
 show me where he is. 2dly. Why is man punished for 
 crimes, since whatever he does proceeds from God ? man 
 has no free-will, for he cannot do anything contrary to the 
 will of God ; and, if he had power, he would do everything 
 for his own good. 3dly. How can God punish Satan in 
 hell fire, since he is formed of that element ? and what 
 impression can fire make on itself? 
 
 The dervis took up a large clod of earth and struck him 
 on the head with it. The man went to the cadi, and said, 
 " I proposed three questions to such a dervis, who flung such 
 a clod of earth at me as has made my head ache." The cadi, 
 having sent for the dervis, asked, "Why did you throw a 
 clod of earth at his head instead of answering his questions ?" 
 The dervis replied, " The clod of earth was an answer to his 
 speech. He says he has a pain in his head ; let him show 
 me where it is, and I will make God visible to him. And 
 why does he exhibit a complaint to you against me ? What- 
 ever I did was the act of God ; I did not strike him without 
 the will of God, and what power do I possess ? And, as he 
 is compounded of earth, how can he suffer pain from that 
 element?" The man was confounded, and the cadi highly 
 pleased with the dervis's answer. 
 
 The Atheist Convinced. — The famous astronomer 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 379 
 
 Athanasius Kircher, having an acquaintance who denied the 
 existence of a Supreme Being, took the following method to 
 convince him of his error upon his own principles. Expect- 
 ing him upon a visit, he procured a very handsome globe of the 
 starry heavens, which, being placed in a corner of the room 
 in which it could not escape his friend's observation, the lat- 
 ter seized the first occasion to ask from whence it came and 
 to whom it belonged. " Not to me," said Kircher, "nor was 
 it ever made by any person, but came here by mere chance." 
 " That," replied his skeptical friend, " is absolutely impossi- 
 ble ; you surely jest." Kircher, however, seriously persist- 
 ing in his assertion, took occasion to reason with his friend 
 upon his own atheistical principles. " You will not," said 
 he, " believe that this small body originated in mere chance ; 
 and yet you would contend that those heavenly bodies, of 
 which it is only a faint and diminutive resemblance, came 
 into existence without order and design." Pursuing this 
 chain of reasoning, his friend was at first confounded, in the 
 next place convinced, and ultimately joined in a cordial ac- 
 knowledgment of the absurdity of denying the existence of 
 a God. 
 
 Colonel Ethan Allen. — Colonel Ethan Allen was a 
 bold officer in the American revolution. He could face the 
 enemies of his country with the most undaunted bravery, and 
 in the field of battle he never shrunk from danger. But he 
 was an opposer of Christianity, and gloried in the character 
 of an infidel. His wife, however, was a pious woman, and 
 taught her children in the ways of piety, while he told them 
 it was all a delusion. But there was an hour coming when 
 Colonel Allen's confidence in his own sentiments would be 
 closely tried. A beloved daughter was taken sick ; he re- 
 ceived a message that she was dying ; he hastened to her bed- 
 side, anxious to hear her dying words. " Father," said she 
 " I am about to die ; shall I believe in the principles which 
 you have taught me, or shall I believe what my mother has 
 taught me ?" This was an affecting scene. The intrepid 
 colonel became agitated ; his chin quivered ; his whole frame 
 shook ; and, after waiting a few moments, he replied, " Be- 
 lieve what your mother has taught you.'' 1 
 
 " The Devil is Dead." — It is said that some time after 
 the publication of Mr. Haynes's sermon on the text, " Thou 
 shalt not surely die," two reckless young men having agreed 
 together to try his wit, one of them said, "Father Haynes, 
 
360 ANECDOTES. 
 
 have you heard the good news ?" " No," said he, " what s 
 it?" "It is great news, indeed," said the other; "and, if 
 true, your business is done." "What is it ?" again inquired 
 Mr. Haynes. " Why," said the first, " the devil is dead." 
 In a moment the old gentleman replied, lifting up both his 
 hands and placing them on.the heads of the young men, and 
 in a tone of solemn concern, " Oh, poor fatherless children ! 
 what will become of you ?" 
 
 Robespierre. — On the 30th of May, 1791, Robespierre 
 spoke in the National Assembly in favour of abolishing the 
 punishment of death ; and yet there hardly ever was an in- 
 dividual who showed less regard for human life, or shed blood 
 with such indiscriminate profusion. 
 
 Destruction of Robespierre. — The celebrated Jean 
 Lambert Tallien had formed a tender friendship with the 
 beautiful Madame Cabarus, so celebrated in revolutionary 
 history ; but, at the period in question, mutual jealousy 
 had interrupted their attachment. She was thrown into a 
 dungeon by order of Robespierre ; and when it was con- 
 ceived she had been sufficiently terrified by imprisonment 
 and the prospect of the guillotine, she was offered life and 
 liberty if she would betray the councils of Tallien, and ena- 
 ble his enemies to ruin him. Although her lover had been 
 faithless and had deserted her, she refused the offer with in- 
 dignation ; and, with great difficulty, had the following letter 
 conveyed to him : 
 
 " The Minister of Police has announced to me that to- 
 morrow I am to appear at the tribunal, that is to say, I am 
 to ascend the scaffold. I dreamed last night that Robes- 
 pierre was no more, and that my prison doors were opened. 
 A brave man might have realized my dream ; but, thanks to 
 your notorious cowardice, no one remains who is capable of 
 its accomplishment." 
 
 Tallien answered merely, " Be prudent as I shall prove 
 brave ; and, above all, be tranquil." 
 
 The next day he hurried to the tribunal, and, regardless 
 of danger, accused the miscreant Robespierre in his own 
 presence. The eloquence of Tallien had always been com- 
 manding and impressive ; but on this occasion it was com- 
 pared to the impetuous flowing of a river, whose course has 
 been prematurely stopped. He portrayed the vices of 
 Robespierre and his companions ; the cruelty and the other 
 excesses of their government, which had deprived France 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 381 
 
 of her most illustrious citizens. Then, taking a dagger from 
 his bosom, he rushed towards the statue of Brutus, his own 
 immortal prototype, and swore that he himself would stab the 
 tyrant to the heart if his countrymen did not deliver them- 
 selves from their disgraceful bondage. His language, his 
 action, and his animated eye were irresistible, for they re- 
 called the Roman hero to the minds of all the auditors. 
 Robespierre was astounded, and attempted to defend him- 
 self. The moment was critical ; the Jife of Tallien hung 
 upon a thread ; but his eloquence prevailed, and the tribunal 
 regained its lost character. The tyrant was sent to the scaf- 
 fold ; Madame Cabarus and other intended victims were 
 saved, and the reign of terror was abolished. 
 
 Prophecy Fulfilled. — As Mr. Haynes was travelling 
 in the State of Vermont, he fell in with a person of infidel 
 principles. He soon discovered himself to be an unprin- 
 cipled scoffer at religion. In the course of conversation he 
 demanded of Mr. Haynes what evidence he had for believ- 
 ing the Bible. "Why, sir," answered Mr. Haynes, "the 
 Bible, which was written more than a thousand years ago, 
 informs me that I should meet just such a man as yourself." 
 "But how can you show that?" returned the caviller. 
 "Why, sir, the Bible says, 2 Pet. iii., 3, ' In the last days 
 scoffers shall come, walking after their own lusts.' " 
 
 Voltaire's Last Hours. — From " Letters on Female 
 Character, addressed to a young lady on the death of her 
 mother, by Mrs. Virginia Cary." 
 
 " The enemies of religion are indeed the enemies of the 
 whole race of man. They would take from their fellow- 
 beings the sole remedy provided by Omnipotent mercy for 
 the variety of ills which constitute the inheritance of man. 
 They would shut out the healing stream from the diseased 
 and dying in this world, and close for ever the golden gates 
 of heaven upon the toil-worn pilgrims who have faltered 
 through their appointed course of earthly trials, and might 
 be entitled to a blessed inheritance above. 
 
 " There is something appalling to the imagination in the 
 contemplation of Voltaire's last moments. Yet it is a pic- 
 ture which should be hung up for exhibition before the con- 
 gregated world. What unutterable horrors pervaded his 
 soul when it received its final summons to appear before his 
 Maker and its Judge ! He was discovered by his attendant 
 with a book of prayers in his hand, endeavouring, with a 
 
382 ANECDOTES. 
 
 faltering tongue, to repeat some of the petitions for mercy 
 addressed to that Being whose name he had blasphemed. 
 He had fallen from his bed in convulsive agonies, and lay 
 foaming with impotent despair on the floor, exclaiming, 
 'Will not this God, whom I have denied, save me too? 
 Cannot infinite mercy extend to me ?' Awful spectacle ' 
 Where was the fame for which he had laboured ? the ap- 
 plause which had been the breath of his nostrils ? Where 
 were the hollow-hearted flatterers, whose faithless profes- 
 sions of friendship had deceived him in prosperity ? Alas ! 
 they were the first to forsake him in the hour of misery ! 
 His last moments were attended solely by a hired menial, who 
 is said to have inquired, when next applied to in her profes- 
 sional capacity, whether the gentleman who wanted her ser- 
 vices was a 'philosopher ? for she declared herself unable 
 to stand the horror of another scene like the deathbed of 
 Voltaire, and would rather forego the emolument than en- 
 gage in such an arduous and soul-appalling duty. 
 
 " What must have been the condition of that departed spirit 
 when the dread realities of the future burst upon its unob- 
 structed vision ! when the awful throne of an insulted sov- 
 ereign rose in sublime majesty before the immortal soul, on 
 its entrance into eternity ! when the first object it beheld, 
 in the dread realms of futurity, was the Being whose exist- 
 ence he had denied, whose cause he had persecuted ! and 
 that Being enthroned in omnipotence as a final Judge ! Let 
 us draw a veil over the terrific spectacle." 
 
 A Blush. — What a mysterious thing is a blush ! that a 
 single word, a look, or a thought, should send that inimitable 
 carnation over the cheek, like the soft tints of a summer 
 sunset! Strange, too, that it is only the face, the human 
 face, that is capable of blushing ! The hand or the foot 
 does not turn red with modesty or shame any more than 
 the glove or the sock which covers then. It is the face that 
 is the heaven of the soul ! There may be traced the intellec- 
 tual phenomena, with a confidence amounting to moral cer- 
 tainty. A single blush should put the infidel to shame, and 
 prove to him the absurdity of his blind doctrine of chance. 
 
 Vehemence. — Bolingbroke left one of his infidel publica- 
 tions to be published after his death by Mallet, a brother un- 
 believer. Dr. Johnson, when asked his opinion of the lega- 
 cy, exclaimed, " A scoundrel ! who spent his life in charging 
 a popgun against Christianity ; and a coward ! who, afraid 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 383 
 
 of the report of his own gun, left half a crown to a hungry 
 Scotchman to pull the trigger after his death." 
 
 Hume, the Atheist. — David Hume, author of the cele- 
 brated History of England, having one day visited the house 
 of a certain gentleman in Edinburgh, was surprised by the 
 marked contempt and disgust evidenced at his presence by 
 a small boy of about four years of age. " Why do you shun 
 me, my sweet little fellow ?" inquired the philosopher. " Be- 
 cause you are not a good man, seeing you deny the existence 
 of God," replied the child. " Why, then, do you not pray 
 for me ?" said Hume : whereupon the child, immediately 
 raising its hands and eyes to the heavens, uttered this won- 
 derful ejaculation : " O God ! be pleased to impart to him 
 the truth of thy existence." Such was the impression of 
 this brief, emphatic, and unexpected prayer upon the mind 
 of Hume, that he is said to have remembered and repeated 
 it to the last hour of his life. 
 
 The Philistine's Head ; or, the Infidel Reproved. — 
 A gay young spark, of a deistical turn, travelling in a stage- 
 coach to London, forced his sentiments on the company by 
 attempting to ridicule the Scriptures; and, among other top- 
 ics, made himself merry with the story of David and Goliath, 
 strongly urging the impossibility of a youth like David be- 
 ing able to throw a stone with sufficient force to sink it into 
 the giant's forehead. On this he appealed to the company, 
 and in particular to a grave gentleman of the denomination 
 called Quakers, who sat silent in one corner of the carriage. 
 " Indeed, friend," replied he, " I do not think it at all improb- 
 able, if the Philistine's head was as soft as thine" 
 
 Voltaire and Chesterfield. — When Voltaire was in 
 England, he was highly caressed by all the English nobility, 
 but by none more than Lord Chesterfield. His lordship 
 gave him a general invitation to his table, and always ac- 
 cused the bard of inattention when he did not dine with him. 
 Voltaire frequently excused himself in the most polite terms; 
 but, being one day a little hard run by his lordship on the oc- 
 casion, the poet replied with acrimony, " My lord, I always 
 consider it as a singular honour to be in company with a no- 
 bleman of your lordship's genius and abilities ; but really, my 
 lord, when I find how much you prostitute the gifts of nature 
 by entertaining sharpers and adventurers, I pity your judg- 
 ment and admire my own abilities." His lordship turned 
 
384 ANECDOTES. 
 
 upon his heel, and retorted, " Taime Vesiprit, mime quand 
 je le trouve dans un coquin ; I love mind, even when I 
 meet with it in a scoundrel." Voltaire did not rejoin. 
 
 New Union. — Abner Kneeland, the Atheist of Boston, in 
 reply to a compliment paid him by the Catholic Sentinel, 
 speaks of a union between Atheists and Catholics as fol- 
 lows : 
 
 " Let this union but take place, and the great Western 
 Valley will speak in a voice of thunder, that all the mission- 
 ary fanatics of our country will never be able to silence." 
 
 This is kind in Mr. Kneeland to have the interest of the 
 " great valley" so much at heart. But the union in the " great 
 valley" would be all on one side, for the Atheists are as 
 scarce among us as snakes and toads in Ireland. We have 
 resided for years in the West, and traversed it for thousands 
 of miles, and never yet have met an avowed Atheist. When 
 this union is formed, Mr. Kneeland will have a large party 
 here. " Deacon Givens and I," said a Rhode Islander, " keep 
 more cows than any other two men in town." " How many 
 does Deacon Givens keep ?" said a by-stander. " Twenty- 
 nine." " And how many do you keep ?" " One." So it 
 will be with Abner Kneeland's union between Atheists in 
 the West and Catholics. He is in great trouble, and resem- 
 bles the drunkard 
 
 " Who caught hold of a sign-post and loudly did bawl, 
 United we stand, divided we fall." — Cin. Journal. 
 
 A Fool answered according to his Folly. — Near the 
 Alleghany Mountains, an infidel judge was sitting with a 
 circle of his friends, and ridiculing the account of the crea- 
 tion of our race as inspiration gives it, and asserted that we 
 came into existence by chance. " Perhaps,"said he, " some of 
 us existed a while in less perfect organizations, and at length 
 (nature always tending to perfection) we became men, and 
 others sprang into life in other ways ; and if we could find a 
 rich country now which had not been injured by the hand of 
 man, I have no doubt that we should see them produced from 
 the trees." Being fluent, self-confident, and in most respects 
 superior to his audience, he made his doctrines appear very 
 plausible, and asked this and that one of the company what 
 they thought of them. All answered in the affirmative, till 
 he asked a youthful stranger, as he sat silent in the corner, 
 what he thought of them. " Indeed, sir," he replied, " I have 
 no doubt at all upon the subject, for I have travelled in the 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 385 
 
 richest part of Texas, where I saw the forest in its native per- 
 fection, unsullied by the hand of man, and there I have seen 
 large hogs growing upon the trees. The nose is the end of 
 the stem, as you see by its form ; and, when ripe, I have seen 
 them fall, and proceed directly to eating the acorns that grew 
 upon the same tree." This simple illustration of his princi- 
 ples turned the laugh upon the judge, and was sufficient to 
 counteract the evils he intended. — Pastor's Journal. 
 
 J. J. Rousseau. — " I shall conclude this catalogue with a 
 brief abstract of the confessions of J. J. Rousseau. After a 
 good education in the Protestant religion, he was put appren- 
 tice. Finding the situation disagreeable to him, he felt a 
 strong propensity to vice, inclining him to covet, dissemble, 
 lie, and at length to steal; a propensity of which he was 
 never able afterward to divest himself. ' I have been' a 
 rogue,' says he, 'and am so still, sometimes, for trifles 
 which I had rather take than ask for.' 
 
 "He abjured the Protestant religion, and entered the hos- 
 pital of the Catechumens at Taurin, to be instructed in that 
 of the Catholics : ' For which, in return,' says he, ' I was to 
 receive subsistence. From this interested conversion,' he 
 adds, ' nothing remained but the remembrance of my having 
 been both a dupe and an apostate.' 
 
 " After this he resided with a Madame de Warren, with 
 whom ' he lived in the greatest possible familiarity.' This 
 lady often suggested that there would be no justice in the 
 Supreme Being should he be strictly just to us ; because, 
 not having bestowed what was necessary to render us essen- 
 tially good, it would be requiring more than he had given. 
 She was, nevertheless, a very good Catholic, or pretended 
 at least to be one, and certainly desired to be such. If 
 there had been no Christian morality established, Rousseau 
 supposes she would have lived as though regulated by its 
 principles. All her morality, however, was subordinate to 
 the principles of M. Savel (who first seduced her from con- 
 jugal fidelity, by urging, in effect, that exposure was the 
 only crime), or, rather, she saw nothing in religion that con- 
 tradicted them. Rousseau was far enough from being of 
 this opinion, yet he confessed he dared not combat the argu- 
 ments of the lady ; nor is it supposable he could, as he ap- 
 pears to have acted on the same principles at the time 
 ' Finding in her,' he adds, * all those ideas I had occasion for 
 to secure me from the fears of death and its future conse- 
 quences, I drew confidence and security from this source ' 
 
 Ccc 17 
 
386 ANECDOTES. 
 
 "The writings of Port Royal and those of the Oratory 
 made him half a Jansenist ; and, notwithstanding all his con- 
 fidence, their harsh theory sometimes alarmed him. A dread 
 of hell, which, till then, he had never much apprehended, by 
 little and little disturbed his security ; and, had not Madame 
 de Warren tranquillized his soul, would at length have been 
 too much for him. His confessor, also a Jesuit, contributed 
 all in his power to keep up his hopes. 
 
 " After this he became familiar with another female, The- 
 resa. He began by declaring to her that he would never 
 either abandon or marry her. Finding her pregnant with her 
 first child, and hearing it observed in an eating-house that 
 he who had best filled the Foundling Hospital was always 
 the most applauded, ' I said to myself,' quoth he, ' since it 
 is the custom of the country, they who live here may adopt 
 it/ I cheerfully determined upon it without the least scru- 
 ple ; and the only one I had to overcome was that of The- 
 resa, whom, with the greatest imaginable difficulty, I per- 
 suaded to comply.' The year following, a similar inconve- 
 nience was remedied by the same expedient ; no more re- 
 flection on his part nor approbation on that of the mother. 
 * She obliged with trembling. My fault,' says he, ' was 
 great ; but it was an error.' 
 
 " He resolved on settling at Geneva ; and on going thither, 
 and being mortified at his exclusion from the rights of a cit- 
 izen by the profession of a religion different from his fore- 
 fathers, he determined openly for the latter. 'I thought,' 
 says he, ' the gospel being the same for every Christian, and 
 the only difference in religious opinions the result of the ex- 
 planations given by men to that which they did not under- 
 stand, it. was the exclusive right of the sovereign power in 
 every country to fix the mode of worship and these unintel- 
 ligible opinions ; and that, consequently, it was the duty of 
 a citizen to admit the one and conform to the other in the 
 manner prescribed by the law.' Accordingly, at Geneva he 
 renounced popery. 
 
 " After passing twenty years with Theresa he made her 
 his wife. He appears to have intrigued with a Madame de 
 
 H . Of his desires after that lady, he says, ' G.uilty 
 
 without remorse, I soon .became so without measure.' Such, 
 according to his own account, was the life of uprightness 
 and honour which was to expiate for a theft which he had 
 committed when a young man, and laid it to a female ser- 
 vant, by which she lost her place and character. Such was 
 Rousseau, the man whom the rulers of the French nation 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 387 
 
 have delighted to honour, and who, for writing this account, 
 had the vanity and presumption to expect the applause of 
 his Creator. ■ Whenever the last trumpet shall sound,' saith 
 he, ' I will present myself before the Sovereign Judge with 
 Uiis book in my hand, and loudly proclaim, Thus have I 
 acted — these were my thoughts — such was I. Power Eter- 
 nal ! assemble round thy throne the innumerable throng of 
 my fellow-mortals ! let them listen to my confessions, let 
 them blush at my depravity, let them tremble at my suffer- 
 ings ; let each in his turn expose, with equal sincerity, the 
 failings, the wanderings of his heart ; and, if he dare, aver 
 I was better than that man !' " So much for the morality of 
 infidels ! ! ' 
 
 Whatever specious arguments infidels bring forward in 
 support of their doctrines, there is one thing which seems 
 very prominent in their characters ; I mean pride. They 
 oppose their own reason to the facts of ages, the fulfilment 
 of prophecy, the evidence of miracles, and the good sense 
 of the wisest and best men who have ever lived. 
 
 "The sufficiency of human reason," says Young, "is the 
 golden calf which these men set up to be worshipped ; and, 
 in the phrensies of their extravagant devotion to it, they tram- 
 ple on venerable authority, strike at an oak with an osier, 
 the doctrine of God's own planting and the growth of ages, 
 with the sudden and fortuitous shoots of imagination, abor- 
 tive births of an hour. The human improvements on divine 
 revelation may be compared to the profaning of the Holy 
 Bible with the figure of heathen idols under Antiochus 
 Epiphanes ; or, rather, to the proud Roman emperor who 
 took the head from Jupiter's statue, and placed his own in 
 its stead." 
 
 The elegant Saurin strikingly describes the folly and 
 madness of such men : "What surprises me, what stumbles 
 me, what frightens me, is to see a diminutive creature, a con- 
 temptible man, a little ray of light glimmering through a few 
 feeble organs, controvert a point with the Supreme Being, 
 oppose that Intelligence who setteth at the helm of the world, 
 question what he affirms, dispute what he determines, ap- 
 peal from his decision, and, even after God hath given evi- 
 dence, reject all doctrines that are beyond his capacity. 
 Enter into thy nothingness, mortal creature ! What mad- 
 ness animates thee ? How darest thou pretend, thou who 
 art but a point, thou whose essence is but an atom, to meas- 
 ure thyself with the Supreme Being, with Him whom the 
 heaven of heavens cannot contain ?" 
 
388 ANECDOTES. 
 
 POPERY. 
 
 The following document was issued by the pope against a 
 person for renouncing the errors of the Church of Rome in 
 1758: 
 
 The pope's curse, bell, book, and candle, on a heretic at 
 Hampreston. 
 
 " By the authority of the blessed Virgin Mary, of Sts. Peter 
 and Paul, and of the holy saints, we excommunicate, we ut- 
 terly curse and ban, commit and deliver to the devil of hell, 
 Henry Goldney, of Hampreston, in the county of Dorset, an 
 infamous heretic, that hath, in spite of God and St. Peter, 
 whose church this is, in spite of all holy saints, and in spite 
 of our holy father, the pope (God's vicar here on earth), and 
 of the reverend and worshipful the canons, masters, priests, 
 Jesuits, and clerks of our holy church, committed the heinous 
 crimes of sacrilege with the images of our holy saints, and 
 forsaken our most holy religion, and continues in heresy, 
 blasphemy, and corrupt lust. Excommunicated be he final- 
 ly, and delivered over to the devil as a perpetual malefactor 
 and schismatic. Accursed be he, and given soul and body 
 to the devil to be buffeted. Cursed be he in all holy cities 
 and towns, in fields and ways, in houses and out of houses, 
 and in all other places, standing, lying, or rising, walking, 
 running, waking, sleeping, eating, drinking, and whatsoever 
 he does besides. We separate him from the threshold ; 
 from all the good prayers of the church ; from participation 
 of holy mass ; from all sacraments, chapels, and altars ; 
 from holy bread and holy water ; from all the merits of our 
 holy priests and religious men, and from all their cloisters ; 
 from all their pardons, privileges, grants, and immunities all 
 the holy faihers (popes of Rome) have granted to them ; and 
 we give him over utterly to the power of the devil ; and we 
 pray to our Lady, and Sts. Peter and Paul, and all our holy 
 saints, that all the senses of his body may fail him, and that 
 he may have no feeling, except he come openly to our be- 
 loved priest at Stapehill, in time of mass, within thirty days 
 from the third time of pronouncing hereof by our dear priest 
 there, and confess his heinous, heretical, and blasphemous 
 crimes, and by true repentance make satisfaction to our Lady, 
 St. Peter, and the worshipful company of our holy Church 
 of Rome, and suffer himself to be buffeted, scourged, and 
 spit upon, as our said dear priest, in his goodness, holiness, 
 and sanctity shall direct and prescribe. Given urder the 
 
MISCELLANEOUS 389 
 
 seal of our holy church at Rome, the tenth day of August, 
 in the year of our Lord Christ one thousand seven hundred 
 and fifty-eight, and in the first year of our pontificate. 
 
 "C. R. 
 
 " Eighth of October, 1758, pronounced the first time. 
 
 " Fifteenth of ditto, pronounced the second time. 
 
 " Twenty-second of ditto, pronounced the third time." 
 
 Romish Superstition. — A Neapolitan shepherd came in 
 anguish to his priest, " Father, have mercy on a miserable 
 sinner. It is the holy season of Lent ; and, while I was 
 busy at work, some whey spurting from the cheese-press 
 flew into my mouth, and, wretched man ! I swallowed it. 
 Free my distressed conscience from its agonies by absolv- 
 ing me from my guilt !" " Have you no other sins to con- 
 fess ?" said his spiritual guide. " No ; I do not know that I 
 have committed any other." " There are," said the priest, 
 " many robberies and murders from time to time committed 
 on your mountains, and I have reason to believe you are one 
 of the persons concerned in them." " Yes," he replied, " I 
 am ; but these are never accounted a crime ; it is a thing 
 practised by us all, and there needs no confession on that ac- 
 count." Was not this straining at a gnat and swallowing a 
 camel with a witness ? yet many act little better than this man 
 
 St. Francis. — A cordelier, preaching on the merits of St. 
 Francis, exalted him in his discourse above all other saints 
 in the calendar. After exaggerating his merits, he exclaimed, 
 " Where shall we place the seraphical father, St. Francis ? 
 He is greater in dignity than all other saints. Shall we place 
 him among the prophets ? Oh, no ! he is greater than the 
 prophets. Shall we place him among the patriarchs?" In 
 like manner he exalted him above the angels, archangels, 
 cherubims, seraphims, virtues, thrones, dominions, and pow- 
 ers ; and still he exclaimed, "Where, then, shall we place 
 him ! where shall we place this holy saint ?" A sailor in 
 the church, tired with the discourse, rose up and said, " If 
 you really don't know where to place him, I'll tell you. You 
 may place him in my seat, for I'm off." 
 
 Priestcraft Outwitted. — An Italian noble being at 
 church one day, and finding a priest who begged for the 
 souls in purgatory, gave him a piece of gold. "Ah! my 
 lord," said the good father, " you have now delivered a soul." 
 The count threw upon the plate another piece. " Here is 
 
390 ANECDOTES. 
 
 another soul delivered," said the priest. " Are you positive 
 of it ?" replied the count. " Yes, my lord," replied the priest, 
 " I am certain they are now in heaven." " Then," said the 
 count, " I'll take back my money, for it signifies nothing to 
 you now ; seeing the souls are already got to heaven, there 
 can be no danger of their returning to purgatory." 
 
 Transubstantiation. — When Dean Swift was request- 
 ed to give his opinion of the Roman Catholic doctrine, that 
 the bread administered in the sacrament of the Lord's Supper 
 was the real body of Christ, he is said to have written his 
 answer as follows : 
 
 " Friar John, in his cell, took his exit of late, 
 Of the gravel, some say, but no matter for that ; 
 He's dead, that's enough ; and, if story tells right, 
 He was soon at hell's gate in a pitiful plight. 
 ' Who's there?' cries the demon on guard ; quoth the other, 
 ' A poor guilty priest, a Catholic brother.' 
 1 Halt ! instantly halt ! stand off, and keep clear ; 
 Go, be damned somewhere else, thou shaft ne'er enter here ; 
 We'll trust none so savage. A wretch so uncivil, 
 Who on earth ate his god, might in hell eat the devil !' " 
 
 Arrogance. — A few years ago a pilot in Quebec, a Ro- 
 man Catholic, who cared nothing at all about religion, picked 
 up an old Bible which had been cast ashore from the wreck 
 of a ship. He read it through ; and it opened his eyes so 
 much that he could not forbear disputing with his priest upon 
 certain points in religion. The priest was much surprised 
 to hear him so knowing, and inquired how he had received 
 his information ; upon which the pilot showed him his Bible. 
 The priest declared it was not a fit book for him to read, 
 and desired he would give it into his charge. This the pilot 
 refused, and the priest threatened to write to the bishop, and 
 have him excommunicated as a heretic. But finding that 
 neither threats nor entreaties had any effect, he requested 
 he would keep it to himself, and let none of his neighbours 
 know he had such a book. The old pilot declared that he 
 considered the finding of that book the happiest event in his 
 life, in consequence of the comfort which he received from 
 perusing it. 
 
 Districts in Purgatory. — In a lecture against popery, 
 delivered in New-York not long since ^y Dr. Brownlee, we 
 heard the following fact related : 
 
 A woman and two children called on a lady in Broadway 
 to ask alms. The woman was dressed in black, and said 
 that she was left a widow, with the children she had accom- 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 391 
 
 panying her, in distressed circumstances, and she urged her 
 request for alms with considerable earnestness. The lady 
 informed her that she could give her no money, but offered 
 her food and articles of clothing if she might need them. 
 But these would not do ; the widow wanted money, and she 
 insisted so earnestly on the gift of money, that the lady asked 
 her into the house, and entered into conversation with her, 
 when she drew from the widow the following story : 
 
 " My husband," said she, " died a few weeks ago, and 
 
 since that I've had no peace. Priest called on me soon 
 
 after, and reproved me for not paying over to him the sum 
 of money necessary for his release from" that place of tor- 
 ment. I asked him how much that would be. * Oh,' said 
 he, ' we have had different prices for different souls. For 
 saying mass for some we have one hundred dollars, for 
 others fifty, and for others less. The least sum I can ac- 
 cept for praying the soul of your departed husband out of 
 that place of torment is tiventy-four dollars? And now he 
 gives me no peace because you know I have not the money, 
 and what can I do for the soul of my poor husband ?" 
 
 The lady took a Bible, and handing it to the afflicted widow, 
 said to her, " Here, take this Bible, and go to the priest you 
 speak of, and request him to fold down a leaf on that place 
 which teaches the doctrine of purgatory, and then you bring 
 the Bible back to me, and I will give you the whole amount 
 you want to pay for the praying your husband out of that 
 place of torment." 
 
 The poor Romanist was delighted with this proposal. 
 She took the Bible and made off in great haste to the priest; 
 but she was not gone a great while ; she soon returned more 
 sorrowful than before. She told the lady, in great distress, 
 that she carried the Bible to the priest, and informed him 
 how he could put her in the way of obtaining the whole 
 amount necessary to procure the release of her husband's soul 
 from the torments of purgatory. But, alas ! instead of turn- 
 ing down a leaf in her Bible upon the place where it teaches 
 (he doctrine of purgatory, he flew into a violent rage, and or- 
 dered her from his presence, saying, " See that the twenty- 
 four dollars are forthcoming, or I'll put you under penance 
 for having in your presence that heretical book, and your 
 husband shall never be released from purgatory till the money 
 is paid down ; and, mind you ! no other priest but myself 
 can pray him out, for he is in my district /" 
 
 Popish Miracles, Mysteries, Relics, and Ceremo- 
 
392 ANECDOTES. 
 
 nies. — The following will give us some idea of the fallacy 
 of miracles in the Romish Church. 
 
 " St. Anthony is thought to have had a great command 
 over fire, and power of destroying, by flashes of that element, 
 those who incurred his displeasure. A certain monk of St. 
 Anthony one day assembled his congregation under a tree 
 where a magpie had built her nest, into which he had found 
 means to convey a small box filled with gunpowder, and out 
 of the box hung a long, thin match, that was to burn slowly, 
 and was hidden among the leaves of the trees. As soon as 
 the monk or his assistant had touched the match with a 
 lighted coal, he began his sermon. In the mean while the 
 magpie returned to her nest, and, finding in it a strange body 
 which she could not remove, she fell into a passion, and 
 began to scratch with her feet, and chatter most unmerci- 
 fully. The friar affected to hear her without emotion, and 
 continued his sermon with great composure, only he would 
 now and then lift up his eyes towards the top of the tree, 
 as if he wanted to know what was the matter. At last, 
 when he judged that the match was near reaching the gun- 
 powder, he pretended to be out of patience ; he cursed the 
 magpie, wished St. Anthony's fire might consume her, and 
 went on again with his sermon. But he had scarcely pro- 
 nounced two or three periods when the match on a sudden 
 produced its effect, and blew up the magpie with its nest ; 
 which miracle wonderfully raised the character of the friar, 
 and proved afterward very beneficial to him and his convent." 
 
 Galbert, monk of Marchiennes, informs us of a strange 
 act of devotion in his time, and which, indeed, is attested by 
 several contemporary writers. When the saints did not 
 readily comply with the prayers of their votarists, they 
 flogged their relics with rods in a spirit of impatience, which 
 they conceived were proper to make them, bend into com- 
 pliance. 
 
 Prince Radzivil. — When the Reformation was spread 
 in Lithuania, Prince Radzivil was so affected that he went 
 in person to visit the pope, and pay him all possible honours. 
 His holiness on this occasion presented him with a box of 
 precious relics. Having returned home, the report of this 
 invaluable possession was spread; and, at length, some 
 monks entreated permission to try the effects of these relics 
 on a demoniac who had hitherto resisted every kind of ex- 
 orcism. They were brought into the church with solemn 
 pomp, deposited on the altar, and an innumerable crowd at- 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 393 
 
 tended. After the usual conjurations, which were unsuc- 
 cessful, they applied the relics. The demoniac instantly 
 became well. The people cried out, A miracle ! and the 
 prince, lifting his hands and eyes to heaven, felt his faith 
 confirmed. In this transport of pious joy he observed that 
 a young gentleman, who was keeper of this rich treasure of 
 relics, smiled, and appeared by his motions to ridicule the 
 miracle. The prince, with violent indignation, took our 
 young keeper of the relics to task ; who, on promise of par- 
 don, gave the following secret intelligence concerning them : 
 He assured him that, in travelling from Rome, he had lost 
 the box of relics, and that, not daring to mention it, he had 
 procured a similar one, which he had filled with the small 
 bones of dogs and cats, and other trifles similar to what was 
 lost. He hoped he might be forgiven for smiling when he 
 found that such a collection of rubbish was idolized with 
 such pomp, and had even the virtue of expelling demons. 
 It was by the assistance of this box that the prince discov- 
 ered the great impositions of the monks and the demoniacs, 
 and he afterward became a zealous Lutheran. 
 
 A Miracle. — Among the many strange things related in 
 the Roman Breviary for the edification of the faithful, is the 
 following concerning Dionysius, the Roman saint : 
 
 " Dionysius, having now passed his hundredth year, was 
 struck with the axe on the seventh of the ides of October ; 
 concerning whom tradition relates that he took up his head 
 when cut ofT, and carried it in his hands two miles, &c. 
 Die ix Octobris." 
 
 Think of this, reader, " a man running two miles with his 
 head in his hands !" We are not joking ; the story ac- 
 tually has a place in the Breviary, a sort of repository for 
 modern miracles. This story may, perhaps, afford an illus- 
 tration of the utility of tradition, since from authentic history 
 we have no such information about St. Dionysius as is here 
 given. Certainly from no other could we have been in- 
 formed of this most astonishing miracle, a man running two 
 miles with his own head in his hands ! So marvellous is it, 
 that it will not be surprising if some should regard it as one 
 of those stories of the dark ages got up by corrupt men 
 to excite the wonderment of the ignorant. — Lutheran Ob- 
 server. 
 
 Modern Miracle-monger. — A priest in extreme pov- 
 erty resolved to get credit for a miracle. He put the yolks 
 
 Ddd 
 
394 ANECDOTES. 
 
 of several eggs in a hollow cane, and stopped the end with 
 butter ; then, walking into an alehouse, he begged to fry a 
 single egg for his dinner. The smallness of his repast exci- 
 ted curiosity, and they gave him a morsel of lard. He 
 stirred the lard with his cane, and, to the wonder of the sur- 
 rounding peasants, produced a handsome omelet. This 
 miracle established his fame ; he sold omelets, and got rich 
 by his ingenuity. 
 
 The Inquisition. — The late Admiral Pye, having been 
 on a visit to Southampton, and the gentleman under whose 
 roof he resided having observed an unusual intimacy be- 
 tween him and his secretary, inquired into the degree of 
 their relationship, as he wished to pay him suitable attention. 
 The admiral informed him that they were not related, but 
 their intimacy arose from a singular circumstance, which, by 
 his permission, he would relate. The admiral said, when 
 he was a captain he was cruising in the Mediterranean. 
 While on that station he received a letter from shore, stating 
 that the unhappy author of the letter was by birth an Eng- 
 lishman ; that, having been a voyage to Spain, he was en- 
 ticed, while there, to become a Papist, and, in process of 
 time, was made a member of the Inquisition ; that there he 
 beheld the abominable wickedness and barbarities of the in- 
 quisitors. His heart recoiled at having embraced a religion 
 so horribly cruel and so repugnant to the nature of God ; that 
 he was stung with remorse to think that, if his parents knew 
 what and where he was, their hearts would break with grief; 
 that he was resolved to escape if he (the captain) would send 
 a boat on shore at such a time and place ; but begged se- 
 crecy, since, if his intentions were discovered, he should be 
 immediately assassinated. The captain returned for answer 
 that he could not with propriety send a boat, but if he could 
 devise any means to come on board, he would receive him 
 as a British subject and protect him. He did so ; but, being 
 missed, there was soon raised a hue and cry, and he was 
 followed to the ship. 
 
 A holy inquisitor demanded him, but he was refused. 
 Another, in the name of his holiness the pope, claimed him, 
 but the captain did not know him or any other master but 
 his own sovereign, King George. At length a third holy 
 brother approached. The young man recognised him at a 
 distance, and, in terror, ran to the captain, entreating him 
 not to be deceived by him, for he was the most false, wick- 
 ed, and cruel monster in all the inquisition He was intro- 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 395 
 
 duced, the young man being present; and, to obtain his object, 
 began with the bitterest accusations against him ; then he 
 turned to the most fulsome flatteries of the captain ; and, 
 lastly, offered him a sum of money to resign him. The 
 captain treated him with apparent attention ; said his offer 
 was very handsome, and, if what he affirmed were true, the 
 person in question was unworthy of the English name or of 
 his protection. The holy brother was elated ; he thought 
 his errand was accomplished. While drawing his purse- 
 strings, the captain inquired what punishment would be in- 
 flicted upon him. He replied that it was uncertain; but as 
 his offences were atrocious, it was likely that his punishment 
 would be exemplary. The captain asked if he thought he 
 would be burned in a dry pan. He replied, that must be 
 determined by the holy Inquisition, but it was not improb- 
 able. 
 
 The captain then ordered the great copper to be heated, 
 but no water to be put in. All this while the young man 
 stood trembling ; his cheeks resembled death ; he expected 
 to become an unhappy victim to avarice and superstition. 
 The cook soon announced that the orders were executed. 
 " Then I command you to take this fellow," pointing to the 
 inquisitor, "and/ry him alive in the copper." This unex- 
 pected command thunderstruck the holy father. Alarmed 
 for himself, he rose to be gone. The cook began to bundle 
 him away. " Oh, good captain ! good captain ! spare, spare 
 me, spare me !" " Have him away !" replied the captain. 
 " Oh no, my good captain !" " Have him away ! I'll teach 
 him to attempt to bribe a British commander to sacrifice the 
 life of an Englishman to gratify a herd of bloody men." 
 Down the inquisitor fell upon his knees, offering him all his 
 money, and promising never to return if he would let him 
 begone. When the captain had sufficiently alarmed him, he 
 dismissed him, warning him never to come again on such an 
 errand. What must have been the reverse of feelings in the 
 young man to find himself thus happily delivered ! He feL 
 upon his knees in a flood of tears before the captain, and pour- 
 ed out a thousand blessings upon his brave and noble deliv- 
 erer. " This," said the admiral to the gentleman, " is the cir- 
 cumstance that began our acquaintance. I then took him to 
 be my servant ; he served me from affection ; mutual attach- 
 ment ensued ; and it has inviolably subsisted and increased 
 to this day." Christian reader, such, and infinitely stronger, 
 should be thy attachment to Jesus Christ, who has delivered 
 thee from eternal flames, and that at the expense of his own 
 life! 
 
396 ANECDOTES. 
 
 METEMPSYCHOSIS. 
 
 The Reverend Billy Hibbard, in conversation with a 
 gentleman on their way up Long Island Sound, who pro- 
 fessed skepticism in everything he could not see, asked 
 him if he believed there was a heaven. He said " No." 
 " Well, as you don't believe there is a heaven or a hell, 
 where will you go when you die ?" " Oh, I shall transmi- 
 grate, I suppose, into some fine horse." " Ah ! ha !" said 
 I, " then it is transmigration you believe in. Well, well, if 
 you get drowned here in the Sound, and the horsefeet eat 
 you, you will then turn into a horsefoot ; and then the fish- 
 ermen may catch you, and give you to the hogs, and then 
 you would turn into a hog ; and then, if some dog should bite 
 you for your mischief, and you die of the wound, the women 
 might try you up for soap grease, and make you into soap, 
 and that will be the end of you. And do you believe God 
 has made human beings to transmigrate into brutes and rep- 
 tiles, and be liable to be made into soap grease ? If you 
 choose to embrace sentiments that will make a brute of you, 
 vou are welcome to the honour of it." 
 
 Origin of the Doctrine of Transmigration. — If we 
 seek for the origin of the opinion of the metempsychosis, or 
 the transmigration of souls into other bodies, we must plunge 
 into the remotest antiquity ; and even then we shall find it 
 impossible to fix the epoch of its first author. The notion 
 was long extant in Greece before the time of Pythagoras. 
 Herodotus assures us that the Egyptian priests taught it ; 
 but he does not inform us of the time it began to spread. 
 It probably followed the opinion of the immortality of the 
 soul. As soon as the first philosophers had established this 
 dogma, they thought they could not maintain this immor- 
 tality without a transmigration of souls. The opinion of 
 the metempsychosis spread in almost every region of the 
 earth ; and it continues, even to the present time, in all its 
 force among those nations that have not yet embraced Chris- 
 tianity. The people of Arracan, Peru, Siam, Camboya, 
 Tonquin, Cochin-China, Japan, Java, and Ceylon still en- 
 tertain that fancy, which also forms the chief article of the 
 Chinese religion. The Druids believed in transmigration. 
 The bardic triads of the Welsh are full of this belief; and 
 a Welsh antiquary insists that, by an emigration which form- 
 erly took place, it was conveyed to the Bramins of India 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 397 
 
 from Wales ! The Welsh bards tell us that the souls of 
 men transmigrate into the bodies of those animals whose 
 habits and characters they most resemble, till, after a circuit 
 of such chastising miseries, they are rendered more pure for 
 the celestial presence ; for man may be converted into a pig 
 or a wolf, till at length he assumes the inoffensiveness of the 
 dove. 
 
 CRUELTY. 
 
 " I would not enter on my list of friends 
 The man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm." 
 
 Cowper. 
 
 Nothing can be more contrary to nature, to reason, to 
 religion, than cruelty. Hence an inhuman man is gener- 
 ally considered as a monster. Such monsters, however, 
 have existed ; and the heart almost bleeds at the recital of 
 the cruel acts such have been guilty of. It teaches us, how- 
 ever, what human nature is when left to itself; not only 
 treacherous above all things, but desperately wicked. 
 
 Commodus, the Roman emperor, when but twelve years 
 old, gave a shocking instance of his cruelty, when, finding 
 the water in which he bathed somewhat too warm, he com- 
 manded the person who attended the bath to be thrown into 
 the furnace, nor was he satisfied till those who were about 
 him pretended to put his order in execution. After his suc- 
 cession to the empire, he equalled, if he did not exceed in 
 cruelty, Caligula, Domitian, and even Nero himself; play- 
 ing, we may say, with the blood of his subjects and fellow- 
 creatures, of whom he caused great numbers to be racked 
 and butchered in his presence merely for his diversion. 
 Historians relate many instances of his cruelty. He caused 
 one to be thrown to wild beasts for reading the life of Cali- 
 gula written by Suetonius ; because the tyrant and he had 
 been born on the same day of the month, and in many bad 
 qualities resembled each other. Seeing one day a corpulent 
 man pass by, he immediately cut him asunder, partly to try 
 his strength, in which he excelled all men, and partly out of 
 curiosity, as he himself owned, to see his entrails drop out at 
 once. He took pleasure in cutting off the feet and putting 
 out the eyes of such as he met in his rambles through the 
 city. Some he murdered because they were negligenity 
 dressed ; others because they seemed trimmed with too 
 much nicety. He assumed the name and habit of Hercu- 
 
398 ANECDOTES. 
 
 les, appearing publicly in a lion's skin, with a huge club in 
 his hand, and ordering several persons, though not guilty of 
 any crimes, to be disguised like monsters, that, by knocking 
 out their brains, he might have a better claim to the title, 
 the great destroyer of monsters. He, however, was de- 
 stroyed in his turn : one of his concubines, whose death he 
 had prepared, poisoned him ; but, as the poison did not 
 quickly operate, he was strangled by a wrestler in the thirty- 
 first year of his age. 
 
 In Italy, during the greater part of the sixteenth century, 
 assassinations, murders, and even murders under trust, seem 
 to have been almost familiar among the superior ranks of 
 people. Caesar Borgia invited four of the little princes in 
 his neighbourhood, who all possessed sovereignties and 
 commanded armies of their own, to a friendly conference at 
 Senigaglia, where, as soon as he arrived, he put them all to 
 death.* 
 
 Nero. — The beginning of Nero's reign was marked by 
 acts of the greatest kindness and condescension, by affabil- 
 ity, complaisance, and popularity. The object of his ad- 
 ministration seemed to be the good of his people ; and, 
 when he was desired to sign his name to a list of malefac- 
 tors that were to be executed, he exclaimed, " / wish to 
 Heaven I could not ivrite /" He was an enemy to flattery ; 
 and when the senate had liberally commended the wisdom 
 of his government, Nero desired them to keep their praises 
 till he deserved them. Yet this was the wretch who assas- 
 sinated his mother, who set fire to Rome, and destroyed 
 multitudes of men, women, and children, and then threw 
 the odium of that dreadful action on the Christians. The 
 cruelties he exercised towards them were beyond descrip- 
 tion, while he seemed to be the only one who enjoyed the 
 tragical spectacle. ".The heart is deceitful above all things, 
 and desperately wicked ; who can know it ?" 
 
 Charles IX. — History records but few characters more 
 cruel than Charles IX. It is said that, when he observed 
 several fugitive Huguenots about his palace in the morning 
 after the dreadful massacre of thirty thousand of their 
 friends, he took a fowling-piece and repeatedly fired at 
 them. That this prince was naturally barbarous we may 
 learn from the following anecdote : One day, when he amused 
 himself with rabbit-hunting, " Make them all come out," said 
 he, " that I may have the pleasure of killing them all." 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 399 
 
 This sanguinary monarch died very wretched, for he ex- 
 pired bathed in his own blood, which burst from his veins, 
 and in his last moments he exclaimed, " What blood ! — what 
 murders ! — I know not where I am ! — how will all this end ? 
 — what shall I do ? — I am lost for ever ! — I know it !" 
 
 King of Prussia. — The late celebrated King of Prussia, 
 intending to make, in the night, an important movement in 
 his camp, which was in sight of the enemy, gave orders that 
 by eight o'clock ail the lights in the camp should be put out, 
 on pain of death. The moment that the time was past, he 
 walked out himself to see whether all were dark. He found 
 a light in the tent of a Captain Zietern, which he entered 
 just as the officer was folding up a letter. Zietern knew 
 him, and instantly fell on his knees to entreat his mercy. 
 The king asked to whom he had been writing ; he said it 
 was a letter to his wife, which he had retained the candle 
 these few minutes beyond the time in order to finish. The 
 king coolly ordered him to rise and write one line more 
 which he should dictate. This line was to inform his wife, 
 without any explanation, that by such an hour the next day 
 he should be a dead man. The letter was then sealed and 
 despatched as it had been intended, and the next day the 
 captain was executed. 
 
 Heroic Negro. — Greater cruelty was perhaps never ex- 
 ercised than by the Europeans to the negroes of Surinam. 
 Stedman relates that nothing was more common than for 
 old negroes to be broken on the wheel, and young ones burned 
 alive ; and yet the fortitude with which they suffered was 
 equal to that of the most ardent patriot or enthusiastic mar- 
 tyr. One of the fugitive or revolted slaves being brought 
 before his judges, who had condemned him previous to hear- 
 ing what he had to say in his defence, requested to be heard 
 for a few minutes before he was sent to execution ; when, 
 leave being granted, he thus addressed them : 
 
 " I was born in Africa; while defending the person of my 
 prince in battle, I was taken prisoner, and sold as a slave on 
 the Coast of Guinea. One of our countrymen, who sits 
 among my judges, purchased me. Having been cruelly 
 treated by his overseer, I deserted, and went to join the 
 rebels in the woods. There also I was condemned to be- 
 come the slave of their chief, Bonas, who treated me with 
 still more cruelty than the whites, which obliged me to de- 
 sert a second time, determined to fly from the human spe- 
 
400 ANECDOTES. 
 
 cies for ever, and to pass the rest of my life innocently and 
 alone in the woods. I had lived two years in this manner, 
 a prey to the greatest hardships and the most dreadful anxiety, 
 merely attached to life by the hope of once more seeing my 
 beloved family, who are perhaps starving, owing to my ab- 
 sence. Two years of misery had thus passed when I was 
 discovered by the rangers, taken, and brought before this 
 tribunal, which now knows the wretched history of my 
 life." 
 
 This speech was pronounced with the greatest modera- 
 tion, and by one of the finest negroes in the colony. His 
 master, who, as he had remarked, was one of his judges, 
 unmoved by the pathetic and eloquent appeal, made him this 
 atrocious laconic reply : "Rascal, it is of little consequence 
 to us to know what you have been saying; but the torture 
 shall make you confess crimes as black as yourself, as well 
 as those of your detestable accomplices." At these words 
 the negro, whose veins seemed to swell with indignation 
 and contempt, retorted, " These hands," stretching them 
 forth, "have made tigers tremble, yet you dare to threaten 
 me with that despicable instrument ! No ; I despise all the 
 torments which you can now invent, as well as the wretch 
 who is about to inflict them." On saying these words he 
 threw himself on the instrument, where he suffered the most 
 dreadful tortures without uttering a syllable. 
 
 Generous Revenge. — A young man, desirous of gettng 
 rid of his dog, took it along with him to the Seine. He hired 
 a boat, and, rowing into the stream, threw the animal in. The 
 poor creature attempted to climb up the side of the boat ; 
 but his master, whose intention was to drown him, constantly 
 pushed him back with the oar. In doing this he himself 
 fell into the water, and would certainly have been drowned 
 had not the dog, as soon as he saw his master struggling in 
 the stream, suffered the boat to float away, and held him 
 above water till assistance arrived and his life was saved. 
 
 Children should be early prohibited from tormenting in- 
 sects, lest it should degenerate into insensibility, and they be- 
 come inattentive to every kind of suffering but their own. 
 We find that the supreme court of judicature at Athens 
 thought an instance of this sort not below its cognizance, 
 and punished a boy for putting out the eyes of a poor bird 
 that had unhappily fallen into his hands. And Mr. Locke 
 informs us of a mother who permitted her children to have 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 401 
 
 birds and insects, but rewarded or punished them as they 
 treated them well or ill. 
 
 The following circumstance, it is said, occurred at Abo, 
 in Finland. A dog, which had been run over by a carriage, 
 crawled to the door of a tanner in that town ; the man's son, 
 a boy fifteen years of age, first stoned, and then poured a 
 vessel of boiling water upon the miserable animal. This 
 act of diabolical cruelty was seen by one of the magistrates, 
 who thought such barbarity deserved to be publicly noticed. 
 He therefore informed the other magistrates, who unani- 
 mously agreed in condemning the boy to this punishment. 
 He was imprisoned till the following market-day ; then, in 
 the presence of all the people, he was conducted to the place 
 of execution by an officer of justice, who read to him his 
 sentence : " Inhuman young man, because you did not as- 
 sist an animal who implored your assistance by its cries, and 
 who derives being from the same God who gave you life ; 
 because you added to the torture of the agonizing beast, and 
 murdered it, the council of this city have sentenced you to 
 wear on your breast the name you deserve, and to receive 
 fifty stripes." He then hung a black board round his neck, 
 with this inscription, "A savage and inhuman young man;" 
 and, after inflicting upon him twenty-five stripes, he proceed- 
 ed : " Inhuman young man, you have now felt a very small 
 degree of the pain with which you tortured a helpless animal 
 in its hour of death. As you wish for mercy from that God 
 who created all that live, learn humanity for the future." 
 He then executed the remainder of the sentence. 
 
 Cruelties. — About the year 1796, the following most 
 shocking and atrocious murder, under the name of suhumu- 
 runu* was perpetrated at Mujilupoor, about a day's journey 
 south from Calcutta. Vaucharamu, a Bramin of the above 
 place, dying, his wife went to be burned with the body ; all 
 the previous ceremonies were performed ; she was fastened 
 on the pile, and a fire kindled. The funeral pile was by the 
 side of some brushwood, and near a river. It was a late 
 hour when the pile was lighted, and was a very dark, rainy 
 night. When the fire began to scorch this poor woman she 
 contrived to disengage herself from the dead body, and crept 
 from under the pile, and hid herself among the brushwood. 
 In a little time it was discovered that only one body was on 
 the pile. The relations immediately took the alarm, and 
 
 * Suhu, with ; murunu, death. 
 E E E 
 
402 ANECDOTES. 
 
 began to hunt for the poor wretch who had made her escape. 
 After they had found her, the son dragged her forth, and in- 
 sisted upon her throwing herself upon the pile again, or that 
 she should drown or hang herself. She pleaded for her life 
 at the hands of her own son, and declared that she could not 
 embrace so horrid a death. But she pleaded in vain ; the son 
 urged that he should lose his, and that, therefore, he would 
 die or she should. Unable to persuade her to hang or drown 
 herself, the son and the others then tied her hands and feet, 
 and threw her on the funeral pile, where she quickly perished. 
 This was noticed in the House of Commons in answer 
 to an opposing statement, which asserted the " filial piety" 
 of the Hindoos. 
 
 MURDERERS DISCOVERED. 
 
 Few murderers escape without meeting with the awful 
 punishment due to their crimes. Many strange stories, in- 
 deed, have been told of this kind, some of which, however, 
 it must be confessed, stand on too good authority to be re- 
 jected. The following is translated from a respectable pub- 
 lication at Basle. 
 
 A person who worked in a brewery quarrelled with one 
 of his fellow-workmen, and struck him in such a manner 
 that he died upon the spot. No other person was witness to 
 the deed. He then took the dead body and threw it into a 
 large fire under the boiling-vat, where it was in a short time 
 so completely consumed that no traces of its existence re- 
 mained. On the following day, when the man was missed, 
 the murderer observed very coolly that he had perceived his 
 fellow-servant to have been intoxicated, and that he had 
 probably fallen from a bridge which he had to cross in his 
 way home, and been drowned. For the space of seven 
 years after no one entertained any suspicion of the real 
 state of the fact. At the end of this period the murderer 
 was again employed in the same brewery. He was then in- 
 duced to reflect on the singularity of the circumstance that 
 his crime had remained so long concealed. Having retired 
 one evening to rest, one of the other workmen, who slept 
 with him, hearing him say in his sleep, "It is now full sev- 
 en years ago," asked him, " What was it you did seven years 
 ago?" "I put him," he replied, still speaking in his sleep, 
 " under the boiling-vat." As the aiTair was not entirely for- 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 403 
 
 gotten, it immediately occurred to the man that his bedfel- 
 low must allude to the person who was missing about that 
 time, and he accordingly gave information of what he had 
 heard to a magistrate. The murderer was apprehended ; and 
 though at first he denied that he knew anything of the mat- 
 ter, a confession of his crime was at length obtained from 
 him, for which he suffered condign punishment. 
 
 The following event lately happened in the neighbouihood 
 of Frankfort-upon-the-Oder : A woman, conceiving that her 
 husband, who was a soldier in the Prussian service, had been 
 killed at the battle of Jena in 1806, married another man. 
 It turned out that her husband had been only wounded, and ta- 
 ken prisoner by the French. A cure was soon effected, and 
 he joined one of the Prussian regiments which entered into 
 the pay of France. After serving three years in Spain he 
 was discharged, returned suddenly to his native country, 
 and appeared greatly rejoiced to find his wife alive. She 
 received him with every mark of affection, but did not avow 
 the new matrimonial connexion she had formed. After par- 
 taking of some refreshment, he complained of being quite 
 overcome with fatigue, and retired to rest. She immediately 
 joined with her new husband to despatch the unwelcome 
 visiter in his sleep, which they accomplished by strangling 
 him, and put his body into a sack. About midnight, in con- 
 veying it to the Oder, the weight of the corpse burst the 
 sack, and one of the legs hung out. The woman set about 
 sewing up the rent, and in her hurry and confusion sewed in, 
 at the same time, the skirts of her accomplice's coat. Hav- 
 ing reached the bank of the river, and making a great ef- 
 fort to precipitate his load as far into the stream as possible, 
 he was dragged from the elevated ground he had chosen into 
 the river, but contrived to keep his head above water for 
 several minutes. The woman, not considering how impor- 
 tant it was to keep silent, filled the air with her cries, and 
 brought to the spot several peasants, who, at the hazard of 
 their own lives, extricated the drowning man from his peril- 
 ous situation, at the same time discovering the cause. The 
 man and woman were charged with the crime, made full 
 confession, and were consigned to the officers of justice. 
 
 Comment on first Tim. vi., 10. — Two young men of 
 Virginia, who served in the American army during the war, 
 having regularly got their discharge, made home to their 
 friends. One had only a mother living when he left home ; 
 
404 ANECDOTES 
 
 when they had got near home they fell into a conversation 
 on the length of time they had been away, and concluded to 
 try whether their parents would know them ; with this im- 
 pression each took the nearest path home. The one who 
 had only a mother came in ; and, finding his mother did not 
 know him, he asked for lodging ; to whom she replied she 
 could not lodge him ; that there was a tavern not far from the 
 place where he might get lodging, &c. He importuned, but 
 she refused, till at last he told her he had a little money, and 
 he was afraid to lodge in a tavern, lest some person should 
 rob him. He took out his purse and offered it to her keep- 
 ing. She, struck with the mammon, consented immediately 
 to his staying ; accordingly he did, had supper, and still nev- 
 er discovered himself to his mother or any of the family. 
 He was directed to a bed once more in the chamber of her 
 who conceived him ; how safe he must have thought him- 
 self then, compared to the field of battle. But she summoned 
 a negro man, told him the scheme she had planned, hired 
 him to aid her to the stranger's apartment, where they mur- 
 dered him in his bed. Next day his fellow-soldier came to 
 see his friend ! but, on asking for the stranger, could hear 
 nothing of him ; he thought it was a trick to plague him 
 that the old woman denied it, till, hearing her affirm that no 
 stranger had come there the last evening, nor no man, he 
 asked her if she had not a son who went to the war. She 
 said she had. " Well," said he, " I left him within a few 
 miles of this house last evening, and he came here ; and he 
 told me he would not make himself known to you, to see if 
 you had forgotten his looks ; he must be here." The cruel 
 mother fainted at the sentence, confessed her wickedness, 
 and showed her murdered son crammed in a closet of the 
 house ! ! Oh, the love of money, what has it not done, what 
 will it yet do ! 
 
 Subrius Flavius. — The Roman tribune, Subrius Flavius, 
 being impeached for having conspired against the life of the 
 Emperor Nero, not only owned the charge, but gloried in it. 
 Upon the emperor's asking him what provocation he had 
 given him to plot his death, " Because I abhorred thee," said 
 Flavius, " though there was not in the whole army one more 
 zealously attached to thee than I, so long as thou didst merit 
 affection ; but I began to hate thee when thou becamest the 
 murderer of thy mother, the murderer of thy brother and 
 wife, a charioteer, a comedian, an incendiary, and a tyrant." 
 Tacitus says that the whole conspiracy afforded nothing that 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 405 
 
 proved so bitter and pungent to Nero as this reproach. He 
 ordered Flavius to be immediately put to death, which he 
 suffered with amazing intrepidity. When the executioner 
 desired him to stretch out his neck valiantly, he replied, " I 
 wish thou mayst strike as valiantly." 
 
 The Emperor and his poor Prisoner. — A certain Em- 
 peror of China, on his accession to the throne of his ances- 
 tors, ordered a general release of all those who were con- 
 fined in prison for debt. Among these was an old man, who 
 had fallen an early victim to adversity, and whose days of 
 imprisonment, reckoned by the notches he had cut on the 
 door of his gloomy cell, expressed the annual circuit of more 
 than fifty suns. With trembling limbs and faltering steps 
 he departed from his mansion of sorrow ; his eyes were daz- 
 zled with the splendour of the light, and the face of nature 
 presented to his view a perfect paradise. The jail in which 
 he had been imprisoned stood at some distance from Pekin, 
 and to that city he directed his course, impatient to enjoy 
 the caresses of his wife, his children, and his friends. 
 
 Having with difficulty found his way to the street in which 
 his decent mansion had formerly stood, his heart became 
 more and more elated at every step he advanced. With 
 joy he proceeded, looking eagerly around ; but he observed 
 few of those objects with which he had formerly been con- 
 versant. A magnificent edifice was erected on the site of 
 the house he had inhabited ; the dwellings of his neighbours 
 had assumed a new form, and he beheld not a single face 
 of which he had the least remembrance. An aged beggar, 
 who with trembling knees stood at the gate of a portico 
 from which he had been thrust by the insolent domestic who 
 guarded it, struck his attention ; he stopped, therefore, to give 
 him a small pittance out of the bounty with which he had 
 been supplied by the emperor, and received in return the 
 sad tidings that his wife had fallen a lingering sacrifice to 
 penury, misery, and sorrow; that his children were gone to 
 seek their fortunes in distant or unknown climes ; and that 
 the grave contained his nearest and most valuable friends. 
 Overwhelmed with anguish, he hastened to the palace of his 
 sovereign, into whose presence his hoary locks and mourn- 
 ful visage soon obtained admission ; and, casting himself at 
 the feet of his majesty, "Great prince," he cried, "remand 
 me to that prison from which mistaken mercy hath delivered 
 me? I have survived my family and friends, and even in 
 the midst of this populous city I find myself in a dreary 
 
406 ANECDOTES. 
 
 solitude. The cell of my dungeon protected me from the 
 gazers of my wretchedness ; and, while secluded from so- 
 ciety, 1 was the less sensible of the loss of its enjoyments. 
 I am now tortured with the view of pleasure in which I can- 
 not participate, and die with thirst though streams of de- 
 light surround me." 
 
 Scarcity of Kings. — George I., on a journey to Han- 
 over, stopped at a village in Holland, and, while the horses 
 were getting ready, he asked for two or three eggs, which 
 were brought him, and charged two hundred florins. * How 
 is this ?" said his majesty ; " eggs must be very scarce at this 
 place." "Pardon me," said the host, "eggs are plentiful 
 enough, but kings are scarce." The king smiled, and or 
 dered the money to be paid. 
 
 Good Advice. — A certain Cham of Tartary going a prog- 
 ress with his nobles, was met by a dervis, who cried with 
 a loud voice, " Whoever will give me a hundred pieces of 
 gold, I will give him a piece of advice." The cham ordered 
 him the sum ; upon which the dervis said, " Begin nothing 
 of which thou hast not well considered the end." The cour- 
 tiers, upon hearing this plain sentence, smiled, and said with a 
 sneer, " The dervis is well paid for his maxim !" But the 
 king was so well satisfied with the answer, that he ordered 
 it to be written in golden letters in several places in his pal- 
 ace, and engraved upon his plate. Not long after, the king's 
 surgeon was bribed to kill him with a poisoned lancet at the 
 time he let him. One day, when the king's arm was bound, 
 and the fatal lancet in the surgeon's hand, he read on the 
 basin, " Begin nothing of which thou hast not well consid- 
 ered the end." He immediately started, and let the lancet 
 fall out of his hand. The king observed his confusion, and 
 inquired the reason ; the surgeon fell prostrate, confessed the 
 whole affair, and was pardoned, and the conspirators died. 
 The cham, turning to his courtiers, who heard the advice 
 with contempt, told them " that that counsel could not be 
 too much valued which had saved a king's life." 
 
 Independence in Humble Life. — Hatemtia, who was 
 one of the most wealthy among the Arabians, was blessed 
 with a disposition that rendered him as liberal as he was 
 rich. His alms were not only bestowed in private, but he 
 made large donations to such as applied every day for relief 
 at his gate. As liberality has in general more admirers than 
 
MISCELLANEOUS. 407 
 
 imitators, so the man who possesses wealth and power is 
 rarely at a loss for sycophants, who offer up their incense 
 at the shrine of adulation. One day, a friend of Hatemtia, 
 praising his generosity, said, " I think there never was a man 
 of more noble spirit." " I beg your pardon," returned Ha- 
 temtia ; " I not long since met a poor fellow staggering un- 
 der a bundle of thorns which he had been cutting for fire- 
 wood. Seeing his poverty, I asked him why, instead of 
 labouring so hard, he did not go to the gate of Hatemtia for 
 relief. The poor man replied, ' He who can earn a morsel 
 of bread by his own industry has no need to be obliged to 
 Hatemtia.' This man's mind was truly noble. Content- 
 ment is a most invaluable jewel ; it suits the back to the 
 burden, not the burden to the back. He who thinks he has 
 enough is a happy character." 
 
 Affectation and Sensibility. — When the late Dr. 
 Moore was in Paris, in the course of his travels, he one day 
 found a lady of quality, whom he had been in the habit of 
 visiting, manifesting much ill-humour, and evidently betray 
 ing great agitation of mind. Dr. Moore, who had never be- 
 fore beheld her in such a state of confusion, suspected that 
 some serious calamity had taken place ; and, with much 
 sympathetic feeling, inquired into the occasion of her per- 
 turbation. The lady, who felt the cause of her vexation in 
 all its magnitude, instantly returned the following reply : 
 
 " Why, my dear sir, I yesterday sent Comtesse de 
 
 the politest message in the world, begging to have the hon- 
 our of her company this day at dinner ; and behold, the hor- 
 rid woman, with a rudeness or ignorance of life without ex- 
 ample, sends me word that she accepts my invitation !" 
 
 Do not such ridiculous characters resemble 
 
 " Ocean into tempest toss'd 
 ' To waft a feather or to drown a fly ?" 
 
 Ornaments. — The wife of Phocion, an Athenian general, 
 entertained in her house an Ionian lady, one of her friends ; 
 the lady showed her her bracelets and necklaces, which had 
 all the magnificence that gold and jewels could give them. 
 Upon which the good matron said, " Phocion is my orna- 
 ment, who is now called the twentieth time to the command 
 of the Athenian armies." 
 
 Egyptian Deity. — The Egyptians worshipped a great 
 number of beasts ; as the ox, the dog, the wolf, the hawk, 
 
408 ANECDOTES. 
 
 the crocodile, the ibis, the cat, &c. A Roman having, inad- 
 vertently and without design, killed a cat, the exasperated 
 populace ran to his house ; and neither the authority of the 
 king, who immediately detached a body of his guards, nor 
 the terror of the Roman name, could rescue the unfortunate 
 criminal. And such was the reverence which the Egyptians 
 had for these animals, that in an extreme famine they chose 
 to eat one another rather than feed upon their imagined 
 deities. 
 
 Hannibal's Stratagem. — He employed a stratagem of 
 an extraordinary kind in a seafight. As the enemy's fleet 
 consisted of more ships than his, he had recourse to artifice. 
 He put into earthen vessels all kinds of serpents, and or- 
 dered these vessels to be thrown into the enemy's ships. 
 His chief aim was to destroy Eumenes ; and for that pur- 
 pose it was necessary for him to find out which ship he was 
 on board of. This Hannibal discovered by sending out a 
 boat upon pretence of conveying a letter to him. Having 
 gained his point thus far, he ordered the commanders of the 
 respective vessels to direct their attack principally against 
 Eumenes's ship. They obeyed, and would have taken it 
 had he not outsailed his pursuers. The rest of the ships of 
 Purgamus sustained the fight with great vigour till the earth- 
 en vessels had been thrown into them. At first they only 
 laughed at this, and were very much surprised to find such 
 weapons employed against them. But when they saw them- 
 selves surrounded with the serpents, which darted out of 
 these vessels when they flew to pieces, they were seized with 
 dread, retired in disorder, and yielded the victory to the en 
 emy. 
 
 Implicit Faith. — Implicit faith has been sometimes 
 styled fides carbonaria, from the story of one who, examin- 
 ing an ignorant collier on his religious principles, asked him 
 what it was that he believed. He answered, " I believe 
 what the church believes." The other rejoined, " What, 
 then, does the church believe ?" He replied, readily, " The 
 church believes what I believe." The other, desirous, if pos- 
 sible, to bring him to particulars, once more resumed his in- 
 quiry. " Tell me, then, I pray you, what it is which you 
 and the church both believe." The only answer the collier 
 could give was, u Why, truly, sir, the church and I both — be- 
 lieve the same thing." 
 
 the end. 
 
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 JUL 1*194? 
 

 
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