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The Witches of Bielefeld 
 War Poems and Notes 
 
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 %J! 
 
 ^3) GUS L. GOETHALS 
 
 CLAYTON, CALIFORNIA 
 
CopjiiRht: — 1917-1918. 
 Bv GUS L. GOETHAL8 
 
 m 29 IS 18 
 
WOODROW WILSON 
 
 President of the United States 
 
^[Jrrfari 
 
 It is a far cry from the battle of Marathon to 
 the battle of Flanders, from the year 490 B, C, 
 to the year 1918 A, D,, yet there is a great 
 similarity between the two great struggles for 
 liberty, The battle of Marathon is named as 
 the first decisive battle in the history of the 
 world, King Darius sent his satraps, Datis and 
 Artephernes, with a force of one hundred thous- 
 and men from the Celician shore against the 
 coasts of Eubea and Attica, They landed near 
 Marathon, On the slope of a hill overlooking the 
 plain of Marathon, in plain sight of the invading 
 Persian horde, a council of war was in session 
 at which were present the War-ruler Callimachus 
 and ten Athenian generals. The immediate sub- 
 ject of their meeting was to decide whether 
 they should give battle to the enemy that lay 
 encamped on the shore beneath them. The 
 Athenians were but ten thousand strong, and 
 although they were hopelessly outnumbered, five 
 generals voted to give instant battle and five 
 were for awaiting reinforcement, which had 
 been promised by the Spartans, The War-ruler 
 then was to cast the deciding vote, Miltiades 
 was the leader of the five who were for attack- 
 
ing the invaders without delay and lie thus ad- 
 dressed the War-ruler: 
 
 "It now r<'sts with you. Calliiiiacliiis, eitlior to en- 
 slave Athens, or, by assurins lier freedom, to win your- 
 self an immortality of fame, sueli as not even Harmodius 
 and Aristositon have acquire<l; for never, since the 
 Athenians were a |ieoi>le, were they in such danger as 
 they are in at this moment. If tlicy bow the knee to 
 these Medes, they are to be s'i^f " "P t<> Hippias, and you 
 know what they then will have to suffer. But if Athens 
 comes victorious out of this contest, she has it in her 
 to become the first city of (ireece. Your vote is to 
 decide whether we are to .join battle or not. If we do 
 not bring on battle presently, some factious intrisiie will 
 disunite the Athenians, and the city will be betrayed to 
 the Medes. But if we fight, before there is anything rotten 
 in the State of Athens, I believe that, provided the gods 
 will give fair i)lay and no favor, we ai'e able to get the 
 best of it in an engagement." 
 
 The vote of the brave War-ruler was gained; 
 the council determined to give battle, and such 
 was the ascendancy and acknowledged military 
 genius of Miltiades, that his brother-generals, 
 one and all, gave up their days of command to 
 him and cheerfully acted under his orders, 
 
 From one quarter only and that from a most 
 unexpected one, did Athens receive aid at the 
 moment of her great peril, Thirty years before 
 the Plataeans being hard pressed by Thebes, ap- 
 pealed for help to the king of Sparta, who ad- 
 vised them to place themselves under the pro- 
 tection of Athens, They did so and under that 
 protection they succeeded in retaining their 
 freedom. Now when it was noised about that 
 King Darius had sent an army for the destruction 
 
of Athens, the Plateaus mustered one thousand 
 men who marched to Marathon, where they ar- 
 rived on the eve of battle and placed themselves 
 at the disposal of Miltiades, This help, which 
 came unasked and most unexpected, though 
 numerically small, did much to augment the 
 fighting spirit of the Athenians and forms one 
 of the most affective episodes in the history of 
 ancient time, 
 
 At the battle which took place immediately 
 after the arrival of the brave and grateful Pla- 
 taeans, the Persian invaders were most decis- 
 ively defeated, 
 
 We now come to a parallel historical event, 
 when General John J, Pershing, placed at the 
 disposal of General Foch the American forces 
 under his command, at the most critical time of 
 the German drive last March, That offer electri- 
 fied France; enthused the British army; thrilled 
 the Italians, the Belgians and Portuguese and 
 placed an immortality of fame upon each and 
 every American of the present generation, The 
 brave Plataeans did much to help win the victory 
 at Marathon, and the equally brave Americans 
 were, figuratively speaking the last straw that 
 broke up the assault of the Huns, Like Miltiades 
 Foch was placed in supreme command by and 
 with the consent of all Allied governments and 
 their. people. In that offer of General Pershing 
 and in the co-ordinating of all the fighting forces 
 under one supreme commander the hand of 
 
President Wilson is most plainly seen, And the 
 historians of the future will acclaim our President 
 as the foremost man of this, the most moment- 
 ous and critical time in the history of the world, 
 
 Now let us go back two thousand years, to 
 another statesman and a leader of men, and 
 leaving out his military genius, the prototype of 
 Woodrow Wilson and that statesman's name is 
 Julius Caesar, and his experience with the Ger- 
 mans is strikingly similar to that of our Presi- 
 dent so I will relate some of Caesar's acts, and 
 leave it to the reader to make his own compari- 
 son between the two Caesar the Roman and 
 Wilson the American, 
 
 In the year 59, B, C, Ariovistus, the king of 
 the Germans invaded Gaul, Caesar, wishing 
 to avoid war if possible, sent word to Ariovistus, 
 asking that lie meet him at some neutral spot 
 to discuss the situation. The German king re- 
 plied that if the Roman had anything to say to 
 him he could come and say it, and added that 
 it was none of Caesar's business what he was 
 doing "in my part of Gaul which I hold by right 
 of the sword", Caesar replied by warning 
 Ariovistus, not to bring any more Germans into 
 Gaul and to release the hostages which he held. 
 The German reply was that he, Ariovistus, had 
 always been victorious, and challenged Caesar 
 to try his hand, Caesar accepted the guage of 
 battle forced upon him and by an amazing and 
 rapid march appeared with his Roman legions 
 
at Besancon, The tables were turned and Ario- 
 vistus asked for a parley with Caesar, The 
 conference proved not only Linsatisfactory, but 
 was abruptly terminated for the Germans, dis- 
 regarding the armistice, treacherously attacked 
 Caesar's bodyguard, 
 
 Three years later the Germans again marched 
 to invade Gaul, this time selecting a route 
 through Belgium, Again the Romans made a 
 quick march and met the invaders near Cleve, 
 Once more the Germans asked for an armistice, 
 which Caesar granted, and again the Germans 
 violated the armsitice by treacherously as- 
 saulting the Roman troops, Caesar refers with 
 deep indignation to "tlie base deception that 
 first asks for peace and then openly begins war" 
 and declares that the Germans by their act "had 
 put themselves outside the pale of negotiation". 
 In Caesar's commentaries on the Gallic and 
 civil wars he first mentions the Belgians, "Of 
 all the Gallic races," he says, "the Belgians are 
 the bravest," 
 
 The great Roman general everywhere demon- 
 strated by word and act his fondness for the 
 Gauls and his deep detestation of the Germans, 
 He says; "In all finer things of life the Gauls 
 are greatly superior to their ancient antagon- 
 ist," and he hardly ever mentions the Germans 
 without showing his hatred and contempt. He 
 describes them as harsh, uncivilized violent 
 people whose whole life is absorbed in war and 
 
whose relations with foreigners are niarl<ecl l3y 
 treachery and a disinclination to observe treaties 
 and agreements, He refers to them as "that 
 treacherous race" which is l^red up from the 
 cradle to war and rapine, And yet after two 
 thousand years we find no change except for 
 the worse, for now they murder without respect 
 for age or sex, and as a pastime tiiey mutilate 
 their victims. Small wonder that the whole 
 civilized world today entertains the same opin- 
 ion of the Huns as was expressed by Julius 
 Caesar two thousand years ago. 
 
 So the Allies are determined to gain a com- 
 plete and decisive victory over Germany, and 
 they accept Woodrow Wlison as their spokes- 
 man when our President in effect says; "We 
 do not figlit for any indemnity nor for any con- 
 quest of other people's lands, nor for any re- 
 ward, only to make the world a free and decent 
 place to live in," But a feeling has taken deep 
 root in the hearts of all the brave soldiers on 
 the field of battle, for a tangible and ocular 
 evidence as proof of Victory and that feeling is 
 expressed in three words; "ON TO BERLIN!" 
 And when the baffled Huns are put on the run, 
 a mighty cheer will go up of "ON TO BERLINI" 
 which may prove too strong for the Government 
 leaders at home or the generals in the field to 
 deny or withstand. Our own brave boys will 
 certainly demand it as a boon; the English will 
 acclaim it as a right; the French will insist upon 
 
it as a matter of justice; tlie Italians will insist 
 upon it in memory of their beloved Caesar; 
 tlie Belgians and the Portuguese will sustain the 
 demand of their friend and protector Great 
 Britain, and may God grant it to them, 
 
 GUS L GOETHALS, 
 Clayton, May 25th, 1918, 
 
3]lll•^(uar^ 
 
 Since the fateful clays of August, 1914, 
 when the German Emperor turned loose his 
 horde of murdering Huns upon the soil of Bel- 
 gium, I have written several articles pertaining 
 to the present war, which were published in the 
 Martinez Gazette, Pittsburg Post and the Con- 
 cord Transcript, of Contra Costa County Cal- 
 ifornia, And having been importuned to have 
 those articles in booklet form, I agreed to the 
 solicitations of my friends, So to those verses 
 heretofore published I have added "The Witches 
 of Bielefeld," and an appendix of notes. The 
 Witches of Bielefeld was written to emphasize 
 tlie historical fact that no invader has ever 
 succeeded, If tlie old adage that "History re- 
 peats itself" continues to rule, which in the 
 case of Kaiser Wilhelm II, I firmly believe will 
 so continue, then we, and our Allies, need have 
 no fear of the ultimate results of the gigantic 
 struggle, 
 
 Since the day of the battle of the Marne, 
 in the forepart of September, 1914, I have 
 always maintained that the Germans were doom- 
 ed. For those Germans who still cherish the 
 hope of a Teutonic victory I have a certain de- 
 gree of sympathy, but must say this, and say 
 
it in tlieir own language, "Gottes IViuelile geht 
 langsani aljer die niahlt fein," and tliey should 
 bear in mind that the Allies are firmly united, 
 hopeful and sanguine of a victory which in 
 the end will prove to be for a better and a re- 
 generated Germany, Moreover, Time is not of 
 the essence of their contract, as it was with the 
 plans of the Kaiser's general staff, when on 
 their march to Paris, Their time piece proved 
 to finely and delicately made — a grain of sand 
 stopped it — that grain of sand was BELGIUM, 
 
 GUS L, GOETHALS 
 Clayton, California 
 September 1, 1917 
 
GUS L. GOETHALS 
 
^rgait Ptll jKsstgn 
 
 Oh, say, William Jennings Bryan, 
 Tlie Dogs of War are loose; 
 
 Your Dove of Peace has flown the coop- 
 Your office you may lose. 
 
 You said you would not take that job 
 If you thought we'd have a war, 
 
 While drawing that twelve thousand per 
 From Uncle SanVs pay car, 
 
 So if you meant just what you said 
 
 You'll never, never sign 
 A document that smacl<s of war. 
 
 For surely you'll resign. 
 
 Let Woodrow get a better man, 
 A man who'll clear the deck 
 
 Of lectures from the ship of state, 
 And take Chapultepec, 
 
®i]c piar ?l-;r0m X to 2. 
 
 As Albert, at Antwerp awaited Albion's army 
 
 Bold Bavarians battered BeigiunVs battlements, 
 
 Ceaselessly cannonading, constantly concrete crumbled, 
 
 Dover's denizens dismayed declared decampment, 
 
 Effectively embarks elusively enters Europe, 
 
 Fiercely fighting France's foresworn foe, firm footed, 
 
 Gruesome, gory ground gairis grim German grenadiers, 
 
 "Hock, hip hurrahl" his holy Highness hooted 
 
 Inflexible Imperialist — insatiable invader, 
 
 Justly Jehovah judges jesting jumping jacks. 
 
 Kings, Kadis, Kerns — kirk kneeling knaves — keep killing 
 
 kindred, 
 Liege, Luxemburg, Louvain low living lacks, 
 Martial men meet men, Mordkessel marks meandering 
 
 Marne, 
 Napoleon's Nemesis, now nerved no Nelson Needs, 
 Onward Orleans, Odessa, Oporto, Ottawa, 
 Protecting Paris, persuing Prussians precede, 
 Quatrebras quickly quieted Quixotic quarrels, 
 Russia, remembering, rushes regiments 'round, 
 So, surely seeking Slavonic sway. 
 Thru Tripoly Teutons tersely Turkey tempted, 
 Unum universal Usufruct Uhlans undertakes, 
 Verisimilous Varus victory ventured, 
 World wonders why will warring Wilhelm worship 
 Xerxes, Xebecs, Xerophim, Xystarch xeloidine, 
 Ypres' Yarmouth's yieldless yeomanry. 
 Zealously Zwarte Zeppelins Zig-zags, 
 
 January 10th, 1915. 
 
cA Great Combination 
 
 
Cuts alt^ (CrnsshiL^s in the litstoru 
 nf thr lllln•l^ 
 
 Alexander the Great cuts the Gorcliaii knot 
 and becomes the Conqueror of the world, 
 
 Julius Caesar crosses the Rubicon and 
 Rome becomes the mistress of the world, 
 
 The Spanish Armada crosses the English 
 Channell and England becomes the mistress of 
 the Sea, 
 
 Washinglon crosses the Delaware and the 
 United States becomes the Free Land for all the 
 world, 
 
 Woodrow Wilson cuts and crosses the path 
 of William the Hun and we become the guardian 
 for the Ereedom of the Sea, 
 
 Febrary 8th, 1917. 
 
31. ^. (icrntan'0 ^rtglit 
 
 A mighty hunter, of small game. 
 Unfurled the Prussian flag — 
 
 With poison, guns and various traps 
 Set out to fill his BAG, 
 
 His High Command, the General Staff, 
 Had given him their highest Tip, 
 
 "We'll win ere England striKes a blow", 
 And Billy said then let 'er R I P, 
 
 All lawful rules they cast aside. 
 As wallow hogs in bloody mire; 
 
 They marched through the best preserves 
 Wliicli then and there they set on F I R E, 
 
 Then gayly started on their trip. 
 
 Boasting of their victory, 
 But the English, French and Irish 
 
 Gave them no chance to see P A R I S, 
 
 So, to heaven he bawled command, 
 
 Gott strafe England she did most harm, 
 
 She is still defending Belgium 
 
 From our strong and bloody ARM, 
 
 "Verdun?" too soon the answer came. 
 It made the Allies sure they'll win 
 
 And on the Somme they're going some. 
 And the going is to B E R L I N, 
 
The German crown is marked, "For Sale", 
 So there are three that have the TAG, 
 
 Three crowned heads fear people's vengeance 
 Three guilty of a fighting J A G, 
 
 Now the Kaiser prays to heaven; 
 
 "Please Got, don't let England strafe Me 
 As she did old Bonaparte, 
 
 Don't let her banish me to S E A," 
 
 Oct. 2fi, 191G 
 
^iiuuti| nf JXprtl is ilianth of Wnv 
 declarations in J^. ^. 
 
 Says Uncle Sam to Kaiser William; 
 
 "I'm tired of writing notes. 
 Now going to spend a Billion 
 
 To hunt and sink U Boats, 
 
 "You've April fooled me twice to date 
 And liave one more a coming, 
 
 'Cause on a Sunday I surely hate 
 To start and go a gunning, 
 
 "Do your worst Mister Hohenzollern, 
 Your last Fool's Day is near, 
 
 Full well you know 'Du hast verlohren' 
 IVlonday from me you'll iiear, 
 
 " 'Twont help you much to hide hehind 
 The H'ddenburglars' Line; 
 
 By Heck its good to make your kind 
 Tlieir Abdication s'gn, 
 
 "You know my lucky IVloniii is April — 
 Look up my list of Scraps; 
 'Fore I get through with you, dear Bill, 
 You'll pack your royal traps," 
 
The g'lag of Victor:^ 
 
M lail tl|c Molimtmn-s 
 
 From 'Frisco Bay to Washington 
 
 Is lieard tlie Warlike song: 
 "We are witli you, Woodrow Wilson, 
 
 A Hundred Million strong," 
 
 From pole to pole the echo conies, 
 Throughout the night and day; 
 
 "We're 'gainst the Hohenzollerns, 
 And we'll back the U, S, A," 
 
 Above the Cannon's roar is heard 
 The cry of vanquished Huns; 
 
 "We yield to you Brave Kamarad, 
 So take our useless Guns," 
 
 The English Tommy — the French Poilu 
 Press onward just the same; 
 
 "No time," they shout, "to tend to you- 
 We're after bigger game. 
 
^ust (!5ct Jiusy 
 
 Behold the self-appointed peace maker, 
 Who butts In, on the scrap across the pond, 
 
 He's a faker. 
 
 Of a Quaker, 
 He'd free burglars without bond, 
 
 He wants to stop, with lamentation. 
 Straffing of "Deutschland ober alles". 
 For spoliation 
 Of small nation. 
 Due the Germans from the Allies. 
 
 He'd let the Prussian keep his hand and foot 
 'Pon every inch of Belgian soil, 
 
 And doesn't care a hoot 
 
 'Bout stolen loot. 
 But fears the jingle of a foil, 
 
 He'd meekly let invaders fire his home, 
 He was not raised to be a soldier boy. 
 
 His spinal column 
 
 A streak of chrome 
 Of yellow color without alloy, 
 
 No English Tommy, no French Poilu 
 Now on the Somme or at Verdun, 
 
 Invited you 
 
 Or asked you to 
 Make peace before their job is done. 
 
If you mean business you'll get busy. 
 For you'll have to fight to stop that fight, 
 
 Don't be a Sissy, 
 
 Don't talk silly. 
 Jump in the ring and prove you're right, 
 
 Be first in war and first in peace and then 
 You will be first in the hearts of all 
 
 Your countrymen 
 
 As Washington, 
 Who bravely answered a fighting call. 
 
 December Sth, 1916. 
 
^iHa^e in (brrmauy 
 
 That "Hack our way through Belgium plan, 
 
 — World's greatest infamy. 
 Against all law of God and Man — 
 
 Was "Made in Germany," 
 
 The Zeppelin — with Boches wild — 
 Dropping bombs most savagely. 
 To kill a woman or a child. 
 Was "Made in Germany," 
 
 The Submarine, by Kaiser sent. 
 
 To sink all ships at sea, — 
 No warning gives — on murder bent, 
 
 Were "Made in Germany," 
 
 That devilish death dealing Gas, 
 
 Used with most fiendish glee — 
 Which for foul murder heads the class — 
 Is "Made in Germany," 
 
 Like wild beasts, Huns now madly spring 
 Against all humanity, 
 And boast that all death dealing things 
 Are "Made in Germany," 
 
 The Kaiser soon will leave Berlin, 
 To get new deviltry, 
 He'll sure find some, when he goes in 
 Hell, "Made in Germany," 
 
(©n to ^erlin 
 
 The Eastern Line is Wabbling to the West, 
 
 By Russian bayonet charges, 
 The Western Line in fear— is running East, 
 
 From British and French Barrages, 
 
 No more does Kaiser Wiliiani strut al30ut 
 The East or Western battle line, 
 
 He is too busy picking out a route 
 To run ere Roosevelt sees the Rhine, 
 
 For when those lines shall mingle into one 
 Our Yankee boys will then fall in, 
 
 In spite of all or any -German Von, 
 They'll form the Bee Line to Berlin, 
 
 With Old Glory they'll get there sure as fate. 
 If those von Mutts keep up that fight; 
 
 Then like rats— from the German ship of 
 State- 
 All the pirates will take flight. 
 
 And bitterly the Kaiser will complain 
 
 'Gainst him who wielded the "Big Stick," 
 "It's your fault, Teddy, that I raised Cain, 
 
 You said the whole world I could lick," 
 "Sure Bill," Teddy will reply, "I said that. 
 
 But did'iit want to cross your son, 
 Nor hurt your feelings so I left this out 
 
 "ABER NIT— The spot I live on," 
 
 May 10, 1917 
 
OIl]e Raiser's ^amcnt 
 
 I organized the Pluiicleibuncl, 
 
 And Europe painted Red, 
 Tliey now call us tlie Blunderbund — 
 
 Blame Me for all tlie dead, 
 
 ME! The Chief and the high Galoot 
 
 Of the Germanic Mutts, 
 That soon from me will get the Boot 
 
 For all are going 'Nuts'. 
 
 They told me England was a runt 
 And would not play the cards, 
 
 But Brittons were the first to hunt 
 And kill my Prussian Guards — 
 
 Said that in France my Clownish Son, 
 Fair Paris would surely tal<e, 
 
 But soon those polius made them run— 
 Their plans turned out a fake, 
 
 They l^et me Yankees would not dare 
 
 Fight our murdering Band, 
 But hell, they're at it now, for fair. 
 
 To make us all disband. 
 
 Now, I'll never wear upon my coat 
 "Kaiser Wilhelm the Great," 
 
 They'll write it plain; "The Billy Goat, 
 For Wilson means that straight, 
 
Before the Peoples' Goai I'll be 
 I'll take the drummers Route — 
 
 I'll go to old Milwaukee 
 And peddle sauerkraut " 
 
 May 15, 
 
5feu mi m]ni J. (§. ^. 
 
 Oh! Soldier Boy, of you we're proud, 
 
 For you we'll daily pray, 
 For a safe return to your fireside 
 
 In tlie good old U, S, A, 
 
 God help you to fight the U-l3oats 
 For the "Freedom of the Sea," 
 
 To make it safe for all that floats, 
 With Neutrals F, 0, B, 
 
 At Valley Forge, your father's chance 
 
 To win looked rather blue; 
 When Washington appealed to France, 
 
 The French came P, D, 0' 
 
 Now that the Frenchmen need our aid. 
 
 Uncle Sam depends on YOU 
 To go and prove you're not afraid 
 
 To pay off that I, 0, U, 
 
 And curb the Kaiser's warring way 
 
 By making Europe free 
 Of kings with military sway. 
 
 So we can R, I, P, 
 
 You'll meet some who love the Kaisers- 
 Who'll try their best to switch 
 
 You to line up with traitors — 
 Tell such to G, T, H, 
 
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 THE PANDERER: — "Come on; come on and be kissed bv him 
 
I am the relentless foe of Life, 
 
 I strike true to the Mark, 
 And must fulfill my measured strife 
 
 Allotted by the Stork, 
 
 They slander me that say I Grin 
 
 Ton war's bloody battles; 
 Have I, forsooth, more lives to win 
 
 When empty scabbards rattle? 
 
 'Tis then I heroes make of all 
 
 Who dare to challenge Me, 
 And heroes know that some must fall 
 
 To set the living free 
 
 They often die that live in fear, 
 
 So bravely fear renounce. 
 For your reward, — though I come near- 
 
 You'll live — and die but once, 
 
(org ta ^, ^. J\nus 
 
 "Vive les enfant de L'Anierique", 
 That never met defeat — 
 
 The Atlantic and Pacific 
 
 They'll free before they quit, 
 
 They salted England's breakfast tea. 
 While dressed in Indian style, 
 
 Then fought as bravely to be free 
 As Greeks at Therniopyle, 
 
 Rolled up Mexico's Tortillos, 
 Then took Chapultepec, 
 
 And lately drove Villistos 
 From Texas to Tepic, 
 
 They beat Spain in a Fandango 
 
 Upon Manila Bay, 
 And another at Santiago — 
 
 Sent Spaniards home to stay, 
 
 Soon on the Rhine they'll fish for trout. 
 But when they get a smell 
 
 Of old Lim burger and Sauerkraut, 
 They'll give the Rebel Yell, 
 
 Then lay the Prussians low and flat 
 In spite of Cannon balls. 
 
 And bat that Hohenzollern Brat 
 'Till Papa Kaiser falls, 
 
 July 10th, 1917. 
 
cTVp Laughing cMatter 
 
 ZAUrex li\ fbUadtlpliit Press 
 
 TllK KAISER; — "Don' 
 the royalty business." 
 
 laugh, ton, that's tlio man who is ruining 
 
JV pJaruhtq 
 
 How long. Oh, Huns,. will you abuse 
 
 The patience of your Host? 
 When will you cease to interfere 
 
 With patriots at their post? 
 
 By ways as foul as submarines, 
 With spying periscope. 
 
 You try to sink our Ship of State- 
 Strike all within ycur scope, 
 
 You left your country joyfully. 
 
 Were welcomed to our Land, 
 The Land you swore you would uphold. 
 
 Took oath you would defend, 
 
 That Mark on Cain was but a scratch 
 
 To yours of infamy. 
 For all your crimes you have prefaced 
 
 By that of perjury. 
 
 Because our sons are now in France 
 Our thoughts run 'cross the sea 
 
 So please don't monkey with our switch 
 Or you'll hang to a tree, 
 
 November 17, 1917 
 
iVutocracu jtlcrsits Sntiocni 
 
 We'll make the Desolater desolate; 
 
 Of Victory he'll soon cease to prate, 
 That Arbiter of small Nation's fate, 
 
 Now for his own does supplicate, 
 
 Hear not his cry for peace, for 'tis the l<nell 
 
 Of Liberty and false as hell. 
 But heed the wail from Lusitania's shell, 
 
 Of murdered ones his Huns did fell. 
 
 'Tis time to choose between Autocracy, 
 
 Under that Brute of Germany, 
 And our President with Democracy 
 
 Forever free from Tryanny, 
 
 The world has chosen Him, Woodrow Wilson, 
 Who can and will make peace. Oh, Hun, 
 
 And ere ye shall pass the buck to your son 
 You'll meet his Yankee Sons o' Gun, 
 
®I]e f cictfist 
 
 Ere they used the poisonous shell 
 It had been said that "War is hell," 
 
 Yet William was more than willing 
 For the foulest ways of killing, 
 
 He, for a peaceful Land did crave; 
 
 Land of the bravest of the brave. 
 There hurled mad Huns through Belgium's gate 
 
 And won the World's undying hate, 
 
 Now shunned by all whom he defied, 
 
 Conscience stricken and terrified, 
 He tries to stem his homing Huns 
 
 Who flee from our avenging guns. 
 
 He proffers us the olive branch 
 
 While planning to defraud the French, 
 
 But Where's the fool would trust a Hun 
 While he retains a trench or gun? 
 
 He's here, he's there, most everywhere, 
 
 Pro-German Pacifist for fair, 
 That sulks when Kaiser meets defeat 
 
 And smiles when Berlin says we're beat. 
 
 One lives next door to you, if not. 
 Across your street you'll find a lot. 
 
 So sail right in and soak the Mutt 
 That smiles, for Kaiser, as he struts, 
 
 November 20, 1917 
 
Sj'u^litiiu^ ^oistcht ^itll 
 
 Good old Ben Jones raised grain and wool. 
 Across tile road lived Wiliani Brown, 
 
 Who l<ept a fighting Holstein Bull, 
 A terror to tear fences down, 
 
 One day Bill Brown unbarred his Bull 
 And stable doors he opened wide, 
 
 Then cracl<ed his whip, just like a fool. 
 Upon the beast's tough, bloon'.ing hide. 
 
 Out shot the Bull, and took the gate 
 
 Of the corral upon its horns, 
 Jones saw him come and pulled his freight. 
 
 Made tracks for home to get liis sons, 
 
 When he reached home, said he to all 
 His Boys, that had gathered around, 
 
 "Bill's Holstein Bull has left his stall, 
 Go, kill him ere he tramps our ground," 
 
 Said John, the oldest, "Dad, 'taint right" 
 To send us boys to other lands. 
 
 If he comes here wliy then we'll fight," 
 John won and Jones threw up his hands. 
 
 So the Bull he had the freedom 
 Of all the road and wild did run. 
 
 Along Jones' fence he made things hum, 
 While Bill looked on and thought it fun, 
 
That Bull he smashed, in just a week, 
 A dozen rigs, killed many sheep 
 
 And lambs galore, What made Jones sick 
 Was, none would put that brute to sleeo, 
 
 Now, when no living thing would come. 
 Or could be seen along that road, 
 
 John saw the Bull a-going some. 
 Tearing the fence down, board l3y board, 
 
 John aimed and fired, but his shot went wild, 
 He cussed, he turned and ran away. 
 
 Both he and Bull raced 'cross the field, 
 Straight for the kitchen door, and say, 
 
 The whole darn family saw that race. 
 But none came out to shoo that Bull, 
 
 Said Jones, "John's coming to our place" 
 "To fight according to his rule," 
 
 "Here, you women folks, take the kids," 
 Hike for the barn, the boys and I, 
 
 Will do some glorius warlike deeds, 
 By gosh, today that BuH'll die," 
 
 They let John in and shut the door, 
 Then Jones he took the matter cool. 
 
 Firm-footed en the kitchen floor, 
 Awaited William's Holstein Bull, 
 
 Soon came an awful jar and crash. 
 The Bull broke through the k tche'^ wall. 
 Knocked four men down, then made a dash 
 Through every room and every hal'. 
 
Though each man had a hickory stick, 
 No two fought ill the self-same room, 
 
 So that Holstein had a picnic 
 As household goods flew up the flume, 
 
 Jones called for a consultation, 
 
 "Boys," said he, as he clenched his fist; 
 "Fall in line in massed formation. 
 
 We'll fight as one and get that beast," 
 
 When he met four men, good and strong, 
 He turned and in the pantry rushed, 
 
 The floor gave way and he headlong 
 Down in the concrete cellar crashed. 
 
 Just then Pete Olson, Bill's hired man. 
 Came up to have a "Parley Vous," 
 
 He held in hand a spick and span 
 New cotton rope and halter too, 
 
 "Gude marning Meester Yones," he said, 
 "I ban sent heer by Meester Brown, 
 
 Dos fence he faix, I tank he paid, 
 Nu fer his Bool I bane coom down," 
 
 "I," Jones replied, "Made up my mind," 
 To get along without a fence," 
 
 I'll tear down Bill's offensive kind. 
 Then won't need none for my defense," 
 
 "But first I'll kill and cook the Bull, 
 "Pete you tell Bill what I tell you; 
 
 If he follows the Golden Rule, 
 He can come to the barbecue," 
 
We knew Ben Jones meant all he said. 
 For he yanked up a hitching post 
 
 Then whacked that Bull across the head, 
 And WilliaiiVs pet gave up the ghost, 
 
 "Burn up the house," yelled Jones, "I'm boss, 
 
 I'll leave no salvage for Rebate, 
 'Til make Bill pay a total loss, 
 
 His Bull Clause I'll not tolerate," 
 
 When Pete got back he told Bill all. 
 Bill took the rope from Peter's hand, 
 
 Clumb up a tree, good strong and tall. 
 Jumped off but never hit the ground, 
 
 Bill did a first class job, you bet, 
 Pete said "Dar rope ban strong tank you, 
 
 "It hurts me gude, alretty yet" 
 "I go tu Yonyes barbecoo," 
 
^OttteI]o6j — ^ontefuI]ere 
 
 Somewhere in France they're putting up 
 
 A three ring circus tent, 
 The Ticket Agents are around 
 
 And seats are now for rent, 
 
 Somewhere in dear old U, S, A, 
 'Twas planned to give that Show, 
 
 Elsewhere Pro-German Mutts all said 
 "U-Boats won't let you Go," 
 
 Somewhere get tickets for that Show, 
 Buy from the Red Cross Man, 
 
 And buy one stamped Y, M, C, A, 
 Take two, take all you can, 
 
 Soinewhere — most anywhere, I'm sure. 
 
 You'll meet a K, of 0, 
 Pay him for one; he'll send it to 
 
 Some orphan 'cross the sea. 
 
 Somewhere along the fighting front. 
 
 Within that Yankee Show, 
 They'll treat you to a royal time 
 
 You'll see Huns on the go. 
 
 Somewhere on center pole you'll see 
 
 The EAGLE we've let go. 
 Inside the tent the ringmaster, 
 
 Jack Pershing, runs our show. 
 
Somewhere in No Man's Land, our boys, 
 
 Whirl 'round the wireiess loop, 
 For clown they have a silly Prince, 
 
 A pure bred Nincompoop, 
 
 Somewhere, nowhere elsewhere they say 
 
 All animals are loose, 
 The Lion, Wolf and Kangaroo 
 
 Play with the young Cayuse, 
 Somewhere the Bear now hibernates. 
 
 When freed he left the ring, 
 We'll let him slumber all he wants, 
 For he'll come back next spring, 
 
 Somewhere, we can't tell where just now. 
 
 Sometime before next fall. 
 They'll surely catch and cage, to show 
 
 One animal — that's all. 
 Somewhere along the Rhine he prowls, 
 
 That beast we call "the Hun," 
 The Lion, Eagles and the Wolf 
 
 Now have him on the run, 
 Somewhere they'll use another cage. 
 
 Inside the tented show, 
 For that double headed Eagle 
 
 That failed to reach the Po, 
 Somewhere in France some sight you'll see 
 
 When starts the Grand Parade, 
 
 Sametime Our Eagle leave his perch 
 
 For Berlin unafraid, 
 
 February 4, 1918 
 
"Slip parser ^vom J\. tn Z. 
 
 Atrocious, Arrant Assassin, 
 Belgium's Bloody, Brutal Butcher, 
 Clierusi's Craven, Cruel Chief, 
 Denizen's Devilish Del^aucher, 
 Envenomed Europe's Enlightenment, 
 Fiendish, Freebooting Firebrand, 
 Germany's Gory, Ghoulish Gnome, 
 Hated Hellish Hohenzollern Hound, 
 Infamous Imp, Imperator, 
 Janus-Jowled, Jabbering Jacchus, 
 Kirk-Kneeling, Kindred Killing Knave, 
 Low-Llved, Loathsome, Lurching, Louse. 
 Mulish, Murdering Mountebank, 
 Narrowminded, Nameless Noodle, 
 Outrageous Official Outlaw, 
 Prussia's Paralytic Poodle, 
 Queer, Quarrelson^e Qi-iadruflusher, 
 Ruthless, Ruffianized Robber Rex, 
 Soured, Sacriligious Sycophant, 
 Teaching Turks Terrible Teuton Tricks, 
 Unlawfully Unleashed U-Boats, 
 Vicious Vampire, Verdun's Victim, 
 Wildly, Wilfully Waged War With 
 Xerxes, Xystarch, Xebecs, Xeloidin, 
 Ye Yahooed Ye Young Yoemanry, 
 Zany-Zollern Zernined Zeppelins, 
 
 March 17, 191S 
 
cA Forceful Speaker 
 
A JFrlit ^'rraps of ^J: 
 
 tprr 
 
 Bold Barons met King John at Runnymecle, 
 There forced the Charter in his liand 
 
 He signed indeed 
 
 — For England's need — 
 "A Scrap of Paper" to rule the land, 
 Martin Luther, with Holy Writ in hand, 
 Indulgences boldly hurled 
 
 From his native land 
 
 And did defend 
 "A Scrap of Paper'' 'gainst the world, 
 
 A band of patriots met in Fanueil Hall, 
 There did declare for Liberty, 
 
 At their Country's call 
 
 They signed, for all, 
 "A Scrap of Paper,'' to be Free, 
 
 And for the best — the Union to sustain — 
 Abraham Lincoln gave the decree, 
 
 "In this Doniain 
 
 No slaves retain" — 
 "A Scrap of Paper" set them free, 
 
 "Free tolls for our ships" so Congress declared 
 Ungrudgingly they did retract 
 
 When Wilson said. 
 
 As his Message read, 
 " 'A Scrap of Paper' you must respect," 
 
tEI|e Pfriting mi tlic pla 
 
 The German Staff had planned it fine 
 To cross the Belgium neutral line, 
 
 On August Fourth 
 
 They sallied forth 
 While singing the "Waclit am Rhine," 
 
 And they crossed with flying colors. 
 For von Emmech had his orders, 
 
 "Without delay 
 
 'To hack his way' 
 Through Belgium and on to Paris," 
 
 Where the Kaiser — such was his hoast— 
 Said he'd eat his quail on toast, 
 
 And named the day 
 
 He'd have his way, 
 In six weeks he'd meet Mine Host, 
 
 But came one fair September morn. 
 Close to the winding river IVIarne, 
 
 There old von Kluck 
 
 Was tluinder struck — 
 Of victory he was shorn. 
 
 Then at Verdun, the butchers bill 
 — Already high — rose higher still; 
 
 There the Crown Prince 
 
 Made Germans wince, 
 Foi' Frenchmen had learned the way to ki 
 
Yet he made some gains — here a trench. 
 And there some cannon from the French- 
 
 But he observes 
 
 That his reserves 
 Are all used up, both root and branch, 
 
 Now they fight — not to free the sea — 
 Nor yet for weal of Germany — 
 
 To save the crown 
 
 For a young clown, 
 Which would be lost — with soldiers free. 
 
 The day of reckoning now draws near. 
 The "Writing on the Wall" is clear — 
 
 It is "REPUBLIC" 
 
 Not "Dynastic" 
 That is the Kaiser's mortal fear, 
 
Pitl| (icnuauy, Jf~ 
 
 Old Kaiser Wilhelni, he bellowed and roared, 
 I'll carve a place in the Sun with my Sword, 
 
 I, the Annointed — 
 
 By God appointed, 
 The scourge of man, as Etzel of old, 
 
 His roar awoke the sleeping Russian bear, 
 And roused the Brittish Lion from its lair; 
 
 The Eagle of France 
 
 Flew to its lance. 
 While brave Belgians called his bluff of hot ai 
 
 They're willing now to give him all of the sun. 
 But off of the earth he must go with his son. 
 
 And we'll get along 
 
 With Germans as long 
 As they're free from the sway of a Hun, 
 
 April 2 4tli, 1916 
 
 
HINDENBURG .- "HIS NAME, SIRE, WAS B YNG" 
 
triple ^Ilmnce 
 
 WHEREAS, Democracy, defender of Peace, 
 Justice and Humanity, is tlireatening tlie fall of 
 tlie Hohenzollern Dynasty, and tlie deatli rate 
 is so low that Charon will be compelled to cease 
 ferrying the Dead across the Styx; and 
 
 WHEREAS, His Satanic IVIajesty, Asmodeus, 
 King of the Devils, complains that there are too 
 many sacred buildings dedicated to the saving of 
 souls, his kingdom does not now receive its due 
 proportion of lost souls; 
 
 NOW THEREEORE, in order to remedy the 
 foregoing evils, His Imperial Majesty, Kaiser 
 Wilhelm II, His Satanic Majesty, Asmodeus, and 
 Grim Death have appointed Plenipotentiaries; 
 Kaiser Wilhelm II, Gen, Von Moltke, His Satanic 
 Majesty, Asmodeus, Lieutenant Mephistopheles, 
 and Grim Death, Lord High Executioner, Major 
 General Mower, who having communicated to 
 each other their full powers have agreed upon 
 the following Articles; 
 
 Article I, His Imperial Majesty Kaiser 
 Wilhelm II is commanded to have his agent at 
 Rome, unlock and open the Gates of the Temple 
 of Janus, And in order to delay the day of 
 Peace, said agent shall cast the keys into the 
 Tiber, 
 
 Article II, The slaughter of Democratic 
 
People shall begin within Sixty Days from the 
 date of the Exchanges of Ratifications of this 
 Treaty, 
 
 Article III, In order that there shall be 
 more lost Souls, Shooting, Poisoning and Drown- 
 ing, shall, whenever possible, be done without 
 warning. And no distinction shall be observed 
 between Belligerents and Neutrals, nor as be- 
 tween Men, Women and Children, 
 
 Article IV, And His Imperial Majesty Kai- 
 ser Wilhelm II agrees with the High Contracting 
 Parties, that he shall spare no Church nor Ca- 
 thedrals, in any Town or City bombarded by his 
 Artillery, 
 
 In faith whereof the Plenipotentiaries have 
 signed this Treaty and thereunto affixed their 
 Seals, Done at Berlin, the 8th day of May, 1914, 
 Signed, GEN, VON MOLTKE, 
 Signed, LIEUTENANT MEPHISTOPHELES, 
 Signed, MAJOR GENERAL MOWER, 
 Ratifications Exchanged at the Third Station of 
 
 Hell, June 5th, Anno Diabolo 1, 
 Ratified by Death May 25, 1914, 
 Ratification Advised by the Military Vons, May 
 
 27th, 1914, 
 Ratified by Wilhelm II May 31st, 1914, 
 Ratification advised by the Devils May 27th, 
 
 1914, 
 Ratified by Asmodeus, Rex Diaboles June 1st, 
 
 1914, 
 Date of writing, Feb, 20, 1915, 
 
CQ 
 
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m]t Pttdjcs oi J&xAMh 
 
 PLACE; Teutoberg Wald, near Detmold, Ger- 
 many, near a cave with a large oaken door 
 Raining, tluinder and lightning, 
 
 ^rautatis |lersonae 
 
 WILHELM II— Emperor of Germany, 
 
 von Falkenstaff— Chief of Staff 
 
 von Cow \ 
 
 von Bellows (Generals of the Emperor's 
 
 von der Goat ( High Command 
 
 von HinderlDUgs / 
 
 Three Messengers 
 
 First Witch 
 
 Second Witch 
 
 Recorder for the Witches 
 
 Nymph 
 
 i\pparatinns 
 
 hiannilDal, Julius Caesar, Arminius, Philip II of 
 Spain, Charles XII of Sweden, Napoleon Bona- 
 parte, George Washington and Pope Pius X, 
 
WILHELM — Go, von Bellows, knock on yon 
 door and demand admittance, (The Emperor 
 and his staff dismount and tie their horses to a 
 small tree.) 
 
 VON BELLOWS (knocking)— By command 
 of his Majesty, I demand admittance, 
 
 1st, WITCH — We heed no commands nor 
 demands from tliose who seek our favors or 
 advice, 
 
 WILHELM — I come for neither but wish to 
 see and hear the Spirits of the Dead, 'Tis re- 
 ported that you have the power to conjure them 
 so mortal eyes and ears can see and hear them, 
 
 1st, WITCH--'Tis not permitted to grant 
 your request before the midnight hour so await 
 the time without, 
 
 WILHELM— Must we stand here three long 
 hours in this rain? 
 
 1st, WITCH— Aye, aye and short the time. 
 Remember Henry IV awaited the pleasure of a 
 Pope for three days before the Gates of Canossa 
 
 VON BELLOWS— Sire, I like not that 
 Witch's reference to your illustrous predecessor, 
 let us away to Detmold, 
 
 VON FALKENSTAFF— Your Majesty, allow 
 us to force the door? 
 
 VON DER GOAT (whispering to Hinders- 
 bugs) — And teach that Hag some manners, 
 
 WILHELM— Silence, heir steh Ich; Ich 
 kann nicht anders, for I must see and hear the 
 Spirits from the Dead, 
 
1st, WITCH— Sire, whilst you await the 
 time disarm, take o1^ all insignia of militarism for 
 such will not be permitted within the cave, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS-Gott in Himmel, must 
 we go in naked? 
 
 VON COW— I fear a trap, what says your 
 Majesty? 
 
 WILHELM — Disarm and place helmets, 
 coats, swords and spurs at the foot of the royal 
 oak tree, (Points to a large oak tree near the 
 door of the cave. All now disarm and pile their 
 accoutrements as ordered iDy the Emperor, The 
 storm seems to abate, The Emperor and his 
 attendants impatiently wait for the midnight 
 hour, when, without warning, a thunder bolt 
 strikes the royal oak accompanied by a terrific 
 peel of thunder, which reverberates from hill 
 to hill then came a deadly silence. It had ceased 
 to rain and through a rift in the parting c'ouds a 
 moonbeam shines directly upon the shattered 
 oak, All that is left of their accoutrements is 
 a smoldering heap. Their coats, helmets, 
 n^edals, swords and spurs have melted away,) 
 
 VON COW— Jesus! Look Sire, an ill omei, 
 (He points to and wildly gazes upon the burning 
 coats,) 
 
 VON BELLOWS— God has straffed our 
 swords and Iron Crosses, Let us away Sire 
 and be damned to the Witches of Bielefeld, I 
 say. 
 
WILHELM— I have a mind to— but wait, 
 here comes Von der Goat,- Let's hear what 
 he has to say, 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Your Majesty, I regret to 
 inform you that our horses, frightened by the 
 terrible thunderbolt, have broken loose and are 
 not to be seen, 
 
 WILHELM— Why, then, must we stay this 
 thing out. Von Cow go back to Detmold and 
 bring back to us six fresh chargers or three 
 autos, 
 
 VON COW (saluting)— Yes, sire, (Exit 
 von Cow,) 
 
 (The storm has passed away and the full 
 moon, now near the meridian, informs the party 
 tliat the midnight hour is near, Tlie cave door 
 is now opened,) 
 
 1st, WITCH — I am commanded by my mis- 
 tress to bid you enter, Follow me, (All enter 
 the interior of the cave in semi-darkness. The 
 Witch takes her visitors before five seats, hewn 
 out of stone and placed in a half circle,) 
 
 2nd, WITCH— (Who is unseen) Welcome 
 to your Majesty and to your attendents, Bs seat- 
 ed and be silent, (All sit down in the stone seats, 
 the Emperor in the center), 
 
 1st, WITCH — Sire, whom do you wish to 
 see? 
 
 WILHELM — As many as 'twill please you 
 to call forth. Here is the list, (hands paper to 
 Witch), 
 
1st, WITCH— (Reading from list) "Han- 
 nibal, Julius Caesar, Arniinius, Philip II of Spain, 
 Charles XII of Sweden, Frederick the Great, 
 Napoleon Bonaparte and George Washington," 
 Truly, a goodly list of Immortals, Here, you in- 
 visible Nymph, take this list to our Mistress, 
 (The paper wafts away to the astonishment of 
 the Emperor and the members of his staff), 
 
 2nd, WITCH— I have sent the list to our 
 hoary ferryman, Charon, with instructions for 
 him to ferry over the River Styx the Spirits 
 your Majesty has called for. While we await 
 their coming our Recorder will take down the 
 names cf our visitors as I call them out; Wil- 
 helm II, von Hindenburg, von Falkenstaff, von 
 der Goat and von Bellows, The Spirits that are 
 sent for are; Hannibal, Julius Caesar Arniinius, 
 Phillip II of Spain, Charles XII of Sweden, Fred- 
 erick the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte and George 
 Washington, 
 
 NYMPH— Oh! Mistress, the hoary Ferry- 
 man calls attention to the payment of the fare, 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Pardon me Sire, but I must 
 call your attention to the rule that Charon must 
 be paid for his services for ferrying the Spirits 
 of the dead, 
 
 WILHELM— What are his charges? 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Three Obelus per passenger. 
 Sire, forty-eight pennies, all told, including re- 
 turn trip. 
 
WILHELM— Here are two marks, (Hands 
 1st, Witch coins,) 
 
 1st, WITCH— Here, tliou invisible Nymph, 
 take these to your Mistress, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— Sire this smacks of graft- 
 ing on the dead, 
 
 WILHELM — I do not think so, geschaeft 
 ist geschaeft, 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Sire, Charon has refused to 
 accept your coins, 
 
 WILHELM— Why? 
 
 2nd, WITCH — Because your Majesty's 
 superscription is stamped thereon, However, 
 he will take them at half their face value, so 
 you will have to pay double the amount, two 
 Marks more Sire, 
 
 WILHELM— Here, (Hands 1st Witch two 
 Marks and whispers to Von Bellows,) Now I 
 believe it is a graft, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— I sincerely hope that your 
 Majesty will receive the full value of those four 
 Marks, but I doubt it, 
 
 VON DER GOAT— If I had my way I'd buy 
 four sticks of dynamite with those four Marks 
 and use them to blow up this infernal cave, 
 then we would get value received, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— I for one don't be- 
 grudge those four Marks that your Majesty gave 
 to Charon, 
 
 WILHELM— Wherefore, Von Hinderbugs? 
 
VON HINDERBUGS— Because for three 
 years past we have succeeded in keeping Charon 
 pretty l3usy, and now your Majesty is nial<ing 
 liini work overtime, therefore iie is entitled to 
 douljle pay, 
 
 Nymph — Oh, Mistress, the Spirits have ar- 
 rived and are in the waiting chamber, at your 
 orders, 
 
 2nd, WITCH— 'Tis well. Call each in the 
 order as written on our register. Proceed, 
 
 1st, WITCH— Oh, Spirit of the Immortal 
 son of Hamilcar, come forth! (Instantly a 
 circular light appears at the further end of the 
 cave not unlike, in size and brightness, the 
 rising full moon. Then appears Hannibaf hold- 
 ing in his outstretched hands the decapitated 
 head of his brother Hadrusbal,), 
 
 HANNIBAL— Oh, Wilhelm, Emperor of the 
 Germanic race that thou hast betrayed, beware 
 of Italy, 'gainst whom I strove for sixteen years! 
 Behold the result of the Metaurus — then came 
 Zama, This gastly trophy my Just reward for 
 my invasion. Profit by my example and 'bove 
 all beware Democracy, (Spirit of Hannibal de- 
 parts, the Emperor is deeply agitated), 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— I pray your Majesty 
 will pay no heed to the vaporings of that African, 
 
 WILHELM— I like not his allusions to the 
 battles of the Metaurus and Zama, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— Wliy, Sire? 
 
WILHELM— Because the Metaurus was 
 decisive 'gainst tliat African and so tlie Marne 
 lias proven so to me, Now as Zama proved tlie 
 end of Hannibal's career so Zeebruge may be 
 the end of all my dreams to rule the world, I 
 fear the letters 'M' and 'Z' for, as you know, 
 Zeebruge is our last stand, 
 
 1st, WITCH — I will now, l)y his deserved 
 name, call for Arminius, "Liberator baud dubie 
 Germanie," come unto our presence, (the spirit 
 of Arminius wall<s into the center of the circle, 
 bow and arrow in his hands fixed for flight, 
 which he threateningly aims at the Emperor,) 
 
 ARMINIUS— With such weapons I van- 
 quished the Roman Legions under Varus and 
 made the Great Augustus cry out in dispair; 
 "Oh, Varus, give me bacl< my Legions!" But 
 you have caused the German people to cry 
 out in anguish; "Oh, Wilhelm, give us bacl< our 
 slaughtered Sons," Resign, let others save t'ne 
 Fatherland that I have freed, Adieu, (Arminius 
 retires), 
 
 WILHELM— Oh, Spirit of the Great Her- 
 man — 
 
 1st, WITCH— Sire, the Spirits of the Dead 
 brook no questioning, I wi!l now conjure Philip 
 II of Spain; Thou son and successor of t'^e 
 great Emperor Charles V please appear, (Philip 
 c-omes holding a Crucifix in his right hand a:id 
 a broken anchor in his left hand,) 
 
Hannibal 
 
PHILIP ll~Guilleniio, beware of England, 
 the defender of Belgium, whose spirit of Democ- 
 racy I sought to crush, through and by the ruth- 
 less and bloody brutality of Alva, and thereby 
 disgraced my glorious reign, Then I attempted 
 to wrest from Albion the supremacy of the sea 
 and this (holds up the anchor) was my reward 
 for my contemplated invasion, Beware 'bove all 
 of my illustrious Sire's Native Land, Follow his 
 example, bastante, (Philip walks away holding 
 the Crucifix before his face), 
 
 WILHELM — That anchor is surely a relic of 
 the Invincible Armada, 
 
 VON BELLOWS^Ture, Sire, but what sig- 
 nificance is there to his saying, "Beware the 
 native land of my lllustrous Sire"? Spain is 
 not at war 'gainst us, or, is she, Sire? 
 
 WILHELM— No, He refers to Belgium, for 
 at Ghent did Emperor Charles V first see the 
 light of day, 
 
 VON FALKENSTAFF— Then, Sire, if you 
 should follow his example that would mean 
 for you to — 
 
 VON DER GOAT— We'll say it, 'Abdicate,' 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— We cannot stand for 
 that, for then what would become of us. To hel! 
 with that Spaniard's advice, I say! 
 
 1st, WITCH— We will now call upon Julius 
 Caesar, Oh, he whom the Immortal Bard well 
 nan-ed "T'^e foremost man of all the world," 
 please us v/ith thy presence, (The clatter of 
 
horses' hoofs and the rumbling noise of Chariot 
 wheels is heard, Two horses' heads appear in- 
 side the circle and stop, Caesar is now seen to 
 conie in front in the center of the circle, holding 
 a scroll in his right hand and a cloak on his left 
 arm, on the scroll are seen these words: "To 
 the Ronian Senate, Veni, Vidi, Vici, Caius 
 Julius Caesar") 
 
 JULIUS CAESAR— I warn you, Wilhelm II, 
 you who now misrule the Germanic race, 
 to beware of the Belgians, the bravest of the 
 brave of all the Gauls, Cast off your crown; 
 a bauble whicli I thrice refused upon the Luper- 
 cal, Invaders receive their just reward. This I 
 received as mine upon the Ides of March, 
 (Caesar puts on the cloak which is pierced by 
 dagger holes, with as many bloody spots. The 
 horses advance and as the Chariot passes 
 Caesar jumps in and drives away,) 
 
 VON DER GOAT— That's poor consolation 
 the Dago gave you Sire, 
 
 WILHELM — Truly, I expected he would 
 say more than he did, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— They say he dared to 
 cross the Rubicon, I believe now that he is a 
 daiedevil, the way he rubbed it in on your Maj- 
 esty, and I do not see. Sire, how you expected 
 him tr 3ay more, 
 
 WILHELM— Well, he in life admitted that 
 he could not subdue our enemy, England, so I 
 did expect him to refer to it. 
 
1st, WITCH— We will now call upon Charles 
 XII, Oh, you mad-cap King of Sweden, let us 
 see and hear thee, (Immediately Charles ap- 
 pears brandishing a sword, with which he parries 
 at the Emperor as he speaks,) 
 
 CHARLES XII— Wilhelm, 'tis not lo:ig since 
 you boasted that once more Russia is trembling 
 under the blows of your army, I also made her 
 tremble for three years, but came Pultowa, 
 Then for three years, I trembled for my li'e 
 amongst the treacherous Turks, Now, Wilhelm, 
 in truth, I'm sick and tired to hear you say 
 "Gott strafe England", do a little strafing your- 
 self, and do it NOW, or you will lose your crown. 
 Look a little out for that Uncle Sam, for sure 
 he'll get your Goat, (Charles XII abruptly leaves 
 the circle,) 
 
 VON DER GOAT— I wonder if that square 
 head refers to me? 
 
 WILHELM — I believe so, and hope so, for I 
 can well spare you, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— Pay no a^Tention io 
 the souwegian. Sire, for the Turks are still 
 with us, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— What I would like to 
 know, Sire, is the United States at war agx.inst 
 us? 
 
 WILHELM— I don't believe so. We will 
 ask Micheales when we get back to Berlii, but 
 even if — 
 
 1st, WITCH— Your Majesty, time is shot 
 and we will now call upon Frederick the Great, 
 
so come forward, you who withstood the on- 
 slaught of Russia, France and Austria and by 
 your victories laid the foundation for a Ger- 
 nian Empire, (A few minutes pass in silence), 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Frederick the Great ab- 
 solutely refuses to see or speak to the present 
 Emperor, whose ruthless and brutal acts have 
 stained and defamed the once fair name of 
 Germany, 
 
 WILHELM — Entreat him, I beseech you, 
 
 1st, WITCH— No, Sire, it would be useless, 
 so we will pass on and call for Napoleon Bon- 
 aparte, So, come you, spirit of the bold Corsi- 
 can, (Bonaparte comes into the circle dressed 
 as a Field Marshall of France, He holds a book 
 in his hand On the cover is the title; "Code 
 Napoleon," 
 
 NAPOLEON BONAPARTE— I salute you as 
 Wilhelm, the Hun — the title posterity will be- 
 stow upon you. Your abdication is now devoutly 
 wished for by the whole world. Beware of Eng- 
 land, She is the Nemesis of all or any who 
 trample upon Belgium, 'Gainst Albion I fought 
 for sixteen years and when I crossed the Bel- 
 gian line I met my Waterloo, my second abdica- 
 tion and St. Helena, Above all, beware of the 
 U, S,, Fare well, Oh Hun! (He bows and leaves), 
 
 VON BELLOWS— Your Majesty, that is the 
 second time the Spirits mention the Americans, 
 Now, tell me. Sire, are they at war 'gainst us? 
 
WILHELM— My dear bellowing Bellows, 
 pay no attention to that Corsican upstart and 
 self crowned emperor of the French, 
 
 Falkenstaff Napoleon— Belgium N. B, Nota 
 Bene, Sire, 
 
 1st, WITCH— We will now invite into our 
 presence he who was "First in Peace, First in 
 War and First in the hearts of his country men!" 
 Oh, thou illustrious and immortal defender of 
 Democracy we beg the honor of your presence, 
 (Instantly seven bright red bands seem to un- 
 roll from the upper edge of the circle and the 
 five spaces between the bands of red become 
 white with stars of golden hue, Washington ap- 
 pears in plain civilian dress holding a parchment 
 in his hands which he partly unrolls and holds 
 to the view of the Emperor, who sees the follow- 
 ing words "Declaration of Independence — Unit- 
 ed States of America — We hold these truths to 
 be self evident, that all men are created equal — 
 Life, Liberty and pursuit of Happiness — ," 
 
 GEORGE WASHINGTON— From time im- 
 memorial ambitious men acquired the power 
 to rule by the sword or by the mitre, Like a 
 pendulum that power swung from Emperors or 
 Kings to Popes or Bishops, then back from the 
 mitre to the sword. The pendulum still swings, 
 but its oscillations now, happily for mankind, 
 are controled by democracy. You, Wilhelm, 
 seek to rule by the sword and cannon, and sac- 
 religiously proclaim that you are God's vice 
 
gereiit on the earth, that you seek to conquer. 
 My beloved country, being, as of right it should 
 be, the invincible defender of Democracy, has 
 declared your brutal and rutheless acts against 
 her commerce and against the lives of her 
 citizens as acts of war, You willed it and 
 you shall rue it, Farewell, (As Washington 
 slowly walks away a white dove with an olive 
 branch in its beak follows him, flying in a circle, 
 The stars go out one by one and the red bands 
 roll up. The white light grows dimmer and 
 darkness again replaces the outer space of the 
 circle,) 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Now, Your Majesty must 
 admit that the Americans are at war against 
 us! 
 
 WILHELM— Yes, but I do not fear that 
 rebel's country, Our submarines will attend to 
 those that dare to cross the Atlantic, What 
 say you, Hinderbugs? 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— I am of the same 
 opinion, Sire, moreover, I can give you my as- 
 surance that 1 will hold on to the Western line, 
 even if I do have to take it back with me to 
 the Rhine, 
 
 VON DER GOAT— rm not afraid 'bout our 
 Western line but I don't like the letter G, 
 
 VON FALKENSTAFF— Why, are you super- 
 stitious? 
 
 VON DER GOAT— No, not so foolish as to 
 be superstitious, Falkenstaff, but I figured it 
 
Invincible and Unafraid 
 
out so; We cannot defeat that G, of England, 
 and yet that rebel G,, he to a finish strafed a 
 G, of this same England, Ergo! How can we 
 beat the G, that easily whipped a G, we can't 
 defeat? 
 
 WILHELM— Silence, you fool, or there will 
 be a G, in G, who'll face a Firing Squad, 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Whom mean you Sire? 
 
 WILHELM— Der Goat of Germany, dunce 
 head, 
 
 1st, WITCH — Your Majesty, our conjurga- 
 tions are over and — 
 
 2nd, WITCH — One moment, and listen, 
 Sire, when Charon had crossed the Styx he 
 found upon his arrival here one spirit more than 
 your Majesty had sent for. We still have time. 
 Will you see and hear this spirit whom Charon 
 in his message to me calls a stowaway? 
 
 WILHELM— Who is he, and what was his 
 name and rank? 
 
 2nd, WITCH— His name, Guiseppe Sarto, 
 his rank a Pope, lately deceased, Pius X, 
 
 WILHELM— May I consult with my Staff 
 upon the matter? 
 
 1st, WITCH— You may, Sire, but be brief, 
 
 WILHELM— What say you. Von Dsr Goat^ 
 shall we see this Pius X? 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Your Majesty, off hand, 
 I say Nol For his successor, Benedict, is at pres- 
 ent trying out for a peace conference and our 
 enemies say that by subterfuge we decieved 
 
Benedict and prevailed upon iiim to make tliis 
 attempt for tlie sole interest of Germany and 
 Austria, Moreover, they go so far as to say 
 that he butts in, as Pius X now does, to come 
 here, which I firmly believe, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— Remember Sire, that this 
 same Pope at the very begining of this, our 
 glorious and victorious war, and just before his 
 demise addressed our arch enemy, England as 
 the "Master of Justice and Guardian of the 
 Peace," therefore I am of the same opinion as 
 Von Der Goat, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— I trust your Majesty 
 will not be offended, for I will speak plainly. We 
 are at present in the position of a drowning 
 man and we must grasp even at a straw for 
 aid, so I favor seeing and above all to hear 
 Pius, for if in life he favored our enemies in 
 his talk to us he may inadvertently give us some 
 information of military value, 
 
 VON FALKENSTAFF— Sire I fully and un- 
 reservedly coincide with Von Hinderbugs, 
 
 WILHELM— Well said, We will hear this 
 Pope and we will pay particular attention to 
 all that he will say, Now you — 
 
 1st, WITCH— Pardon, Sire, but time is 
 pressing and Charon is becoming impatient. 
 What is your pleasure? 
 
 WILHELM— We have decided to hear Pope 
 Pius X, 
 
1st, WITCH— Tis well, for we must not 
 tarry, You who in life was Patriarch of Venice, 
 by name, Guiseppe Sarto, Ijless us with thy 
 presence, (A halo of light appears above the 
 circle and within the halo is a large cross, 
 Pius comes into the center of the circle and 
 stops immediately under the halo and cross,) 
 
 PIUS— My successor, Benedict XV is at 
 present attempting to have the warring nations 
 agree to a peace conference, but it is premature, 
 because it is the rule of our Holy Catholic Church 
 that no absolution shall be granted to an un- 
 repenting sinner, nor until he has made full re- 
 stitution to those he has wronged or defrauded, 
 .Wilhelm, you boast that you are victorious; you 
 are still defying and outraging all laws of God 
 and man, all of which proves your unrepenting 
 mind, Repentance and restitution go hand in 
 hand, as does absolution and peace. Proclaim 
 the former and Peace will follow as day the 
 night, and "Dominus Vobiscum," (Pius leaves 
 followed by a lamb carrying a cross), 
 
 VON DER GOAT— I heard nothing said 
 that was of military value Sire, All Popes are 
 the same to me even after they are dead they 
 will butt in, 
 
 VON HINDERBUGS— With your permission. 
 Sire, I shall order the destruction of all Catholic 
 churches while retiring from Belgium and north- 
 ern France, 
 
WILHELM — Do as you wish, my clear 
 Hinderbugs, but do not let that appear in any 
 of your official orders of the day, 
 
 VON BELLOWS— Sire, do you contemplate 
 the evacuation of Belgium and thus follow the 
 advice of Pope Pius X ? 
 
 WILHELM— I tell thee, Von Bellows, no 
 Pope, be he dead or alive, will ever make me 
 go to Canossa, but we must be prepared for 
 any eventualities; our army on the western 
 front cannot retreat nor can we retire, for we 
 lack reserves to protect and cover a rearward 
 movement, so the enemy compels me to fight 
 to the last ditch, (Loud knocking is heard), 
 
 1st, WITCH— Who is it that dares disturb 
 this meeting? 
 
 VON COW— I, General Von Cow, just re- 
 turned from Detmold with conveyance for his 
 Majesty and the members of his staff, so please 
 inform His Majesty of my arrival, 
 
 1st, WITCH— I will, (Shuts door). Your 
 Majesty, General Von Cow has arrived with 
 conveyances for your departure, As our con- 
 jurations are ended you and your staff will 
 please leave the cave, as it is not permitted for 
 any one to remain till break of day, 
 
 WILHELM— 'Tis well, we will depart, but 
 first and last I thank you for bringing up the 
 Spirits of the dead to my view and hearing, 
 but deeply regret that one refused to appear. 
 
for which I will not blame any of the Witches of 
 Bielefield, 
 
 1st, WITCH— But your Majesty did see the 
 full number of the Spirits, as was inscribed upon 
 your list, for Frederick the Great was replaced 
 by Pope Pius X, 
 
 WILHELM— True, but Popes have no lik- 
 ing for such as I or you, 
 
 1st, WITCH— We're well aware of that. 
 Your Majesty, but we fear them not, 
 (1st, Witch hobbles toward the door, leaning 
 on her staff), 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Sire, Charon has ferried 
 over the Styx all those whom you had ca'led, 
 but has refused to take Pius X because he did 
 not pay his fare, so if your Majesty will pay the 
 two fares Charon will preform his duty, 
 
 WILHELM — How much are the fares? 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Two Obolus, six pennies, 
 U, S, coin, or 12 coins of your Empire, Sire, 
 
 WILHELM— And if I refuse what will be 
 the consequences? 
 
 2nd, WITCH— Charon will refuse to con- 
 vey the unhappy shade of Pius X across and it 
 will be doomed to wander restlessly along the 
 shores of Acheron, 
 
 WILHELM— I then refuse to contribute one 
 cent. Let his shade be doomed, it is God's 
 strafing for butting in where he was not called. 
 Now, you who can bring back the Spirits of the 
 
dead, you can no doubt foretell my future, I pray 
 you to do so, 
 
 2nd, WITCH — Sire, I can only warn you 
 to beware of the number Thirteen, 
 
 WILHELM— Why Thirteen? 
 
 2nd, WITCH — Because your Majesty is 
 commonly called 'Kaiser William,' so beginning 
 with your name of thirteen letters I will name 
 others. When you were crowned the Pope, 
 who then presided at the Vatican, was "Cardinal 
 Pecci" Leo XIII,, and he it was who decided 
 against Germany, and awarded the "Caroline 
 Isles" to Spain, Again, when your Majesty 
 dropt your faithful Pilot Bismark, you replaced 
 him with a losing thirteen "Prince Caprivi", 
 And, most disastrous to your ambition to rule 
 the world. Sire, was that thirteen of England, 
 "Sir Edward Grey," who threw Great Britian 
 into the scales 'gainst you. Now comes the 
 most powerful thirteen, and one who over- 
 shadows them all, "Woodrow Wilson," backed 
 by that Invincible Flag of Thirtee,i Stripes, 
 and most ably aided by his chief advisor, "Rob- 
 ert Lansing," They have sent the Stars 
 and Stripes to be unfurled on French soil, there 
 to remain in charge of a fighting 13, John J, 
 Pershing, until your armies are defeated — until 
 the World is assured that no more cannons are 
 "Made in Germany", That is all I will say, 
 
Be<ware of No. 13 
 
and will ask you. Sire, to leave, as day is fast 
 approaching, 
 
 WILHELM— I thank you for calling my 
 attention to that, to me, fatal Thirteen, I will 
 add that my greatest obstacle for a peace is 
 that same Thirteen "Strasburg-Metz," Good 
 Bye, (All leave the Cave), 
 
 VON COW— Sire, below are three au'.os, 
 it was impossible to get horses in Detmold, I, 
 however, succeded in getting new accoutre- 
 ments, I await your pleasure, Sire, 
 
 WILHELM— Well done. Von Cow, Vor- 
 waerts, take the lead and we will leave this 
 accursed place, (All march down the steep 
 and rocky defile,) 
 
 VON BELLOWS— When I was a small boy 
 I often was sent to the bakery for a dozen pre- 
 tzels. The baker always gave me an extra 
 one, which I ate, therefore I never could see 
 any bad luck in number thirteen, 
 
 VON DER GOAT— If your Ma.issty will note, 
 you have succeeded in getting rid of a th r;een, 
 
 WILHELM— How and when. Von Cer Goa.? 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Why, when ycur Ma'es^y 
 refused to pay six pennies to have Charon 
 ferry over Pius X, 
 
 WILHELM— How do you make out Pius 
 X a Thirteen? 
 
 VON DER GOAT— Well his name was "Giu- 
 seppe Sarto," thirteen letters. Sire, 
 
WILHELM— Good, I shall not forget that 
 on my next decoration day. Von Der Goat, 
 
 VON COW— I, for one, am not supersti- 
 tious, but explain to me. Von Der Goat, how is 
 it that a thirteen made a promise to our Emper- 
 or, but did not come through with the goods? 
 
 WILHELM— Who was that, and what did 
 he promise me, Von Cow? 
 
 VON COW— "Von Fall<enhayn," He pro- 
 mised you Verdun, Sire, 
 
 WILHELM— Enough, the first one who 
 mentions that number to me hereafter, shall 
 be shot, (The party have arrived at the bottom 
 of the hill,) 
 
 VON COW— Here are the three autos, 
 Sire, and the three messengers who have 
 come from the battle fronts, and I trust that 
 they bring your Majesty good news, (The 
 three messengers approach the Emperor, salute 
 and each one gives him a large official en- 
 velope,) 
 
 WILHELM— Turn on the light here so I 
 can read these messages, (The search light 
 of the first auto is turned on and the Emperor 
 reads in an audible voice) "If your Majesty 
 cannot send me reinforcement, then l]y all means 
 come to the eastern front, I fear that all our 
 plans must be changed, for I fear the inaction 
 of the Russian's more than any of their bayonet 
 charges. Assuring -your Majessty of ultimate 
 victory, I remain, etc. General Von Mutt," 
 
(Takes second letter and continues), 
 "As a supplement to my last advice to 
 your Majesty, I beg to report that the enemy 
 under General Cardorna, had crossed the Isonzo, 
 Emperor Charles will be here to-morrow to 
 enthuse his army to make a stand to save the 
 Peak of San Gabriele, but I fear it is too late, 
 unless your IVIajesty sends reinforcement at the 
 earliest possible moment, With deep apprecia- 
 tions for your Majesty's favors, I remain at 
 Your Command, 
 
 General Von Eiselkopf," 
 (Takes last letter and reads on), 
 "Sire, General Haig has attacked the 
 Green Grassier, and I fear that Lens will have 
 to be evacuated, I could not communicate with 
 Hinderbugs, as we cannot locate him. He left 
 yesterday on an important mission — I under- 
 stood it was to confer with your Majesty, The 
 attack upon our trenches was led by the Mani- 
 tobans, and believe me. Sire, there were many, 
 If Hinderbugs does not return soon, and with 
 reinforcement sufficinent to be able to make a 
 successful counter attack, we will have to order 
 a retirement, 
 
 I Sincerely pray for your Majesty's success. 
 
 General Von Boob," 
 (The Emperor now gets busy,) 
 WILH ELM— Here, Von Hinderbugs, take 
 this message, it pertains to you, Take first 
 auto with messenger from your front and go 
 
immediately to Lens by way of Warburg; read 
 tlie message at your leisure on your way, 
 You, Von Bellows, with Von Der Goat and Austri- 
 an messenger, take second auto and speed away 
 to Vienna as soon as possible, Here, Fall<en- 
 staff, get ready, we go to Berlin, passing through 
 Detmold, and Magdeberg, (For a few minutes 
 all are busily engaged putting on their accoutre- 
 ments. Enter their respective autos and speed 
 away and exit all,) 
 
 August 30th, 1917. 
 
 j^ ^Aw J^^ 
 
Notes 
 
 ACROBATIC POEM— J, B, German's Fright is 
 the title, In J, B, German's Fright is contained 
 the initial of the nations at war; also J, B, 
 means John Bull, German's Fright, 
 
 ALVA — Fernando Alvarez Ds Toledo Duke of — 
 Born 1508, was sent into the Netherlands at 
 the head of 10,000 men with unlimited powers 
 for the extirpation of heretics, Alva boasted 
 that in six years he executed 18,000 men 
 and women through and l]y his "Bloody Tri- 
 bunal," He was recalled by his bigoted 
 master Philip II, in 1573, 
 
 APRIL— Month of War Declaration for the U, S, 
 War of the Revolution, April 19, 1775 
 Black Hawk Indian War, April 21 1831 
 War with Mexico, April 24th, 1846 
 Civil War, April 12th, 1861, 
 Spanish-American War, April 21st, 1893, 
 
 ARMADA— "The Invincible"— Sailed from Lis- 
 bon May 29, 1583, Fleet consisted of 129 
 large vessels and carried 19,295 soldiers and 
 8,460 sailors, besides slaves and rowers, and 
 2,431 cannons. Defeated and destroyed on 
 July 19, 1583, l]y the English Navy under 
 Admiral Lord Howard, of Effingham, 
 
 ARMINIUS— Born 18, B, C, Annihilated the 
 
whole Roman army, under Varus, in 9 A, D, 
 This sanguinary l}attle, wliicli lasted three 
 days, freed tlie German race from the op- 
 pressive Roman yoke, Arminius was assass- 
 inated l]y his own people wliile trying to quell 
 an internecine strife among the German tribes, 
 in the year 20 A, D, 
 
 AUGUSTUS— Roman Emperor, l)orn 63, B, C, 
 In 29, B, C,| he closed the Temple of Janus 
 with most pompus ceremony and proclaimed 
 universal peace, In the year 9, A, D,, Aug- 
 ustus suffered tlie one crushing defeat of his 
 reign at the hand of the Germans, led by Ar- 
 minus, The loss so afflicted the Emperor 
 that lie cried in anguish "Oh! Varus give 
 me back n)y Legions," and allowed his beard 
 and hair to grow as a sign of deep mourning, 
 Died 14, A, D, 
 
 BENEDICT— Cardinal Delia Chiesa, formerly 
 Archbishop of Bologna, Was elected Pope 
 September, 3, 1914, 
 
 BIELEFELD — Town in tlie Prussian province of 
 West Phalia, First mentioned in the 9th, 
 century as Belanvelde; situate near the west- 
 ern side of the Teutol)erger-Waldc, 
 
 BONAPARTE— Napoleon, Born at Ajaccio, 
 August, 15, 1769, Crowned Emperor of the 
 French at Notre Dame, Paris, Pope Pius VII 
 officiating, Napoleon however, took the 
 crown from the Pope's hand and placed it 
 on his own head. Abdicated April 11, 1814, 
 
Battle of Waterloo Juiio 18, 1815, Second 
 abdication June 22, 1815, and was banislied 
 to tlie Island of St, Helena, where lie died 
 May, 5, 1821, 
 
 BRYAN— William Jeimin.^s, Appointed Secre- 
 tary of State by President Woodrow Wilson 
 March 4, 1913, Resigned June 8, 1915, 
 
 CAESAR— Caius Julius, Born 100 B, C, First 
 invasion of England, 55 B, C, whither Caesar 
 was led partly by curiosity and partly by a 
 desire to detach the Celtic Confederacy from 
 Britian, which was the sure asylum of political 
 refugees. In 44 B, C, he refused the crown 
 offered to him by Mark Anthony, and a month 
 later, being the Ides of March was assassi- 
 nated, 
 
 CANOSSA— A ruined castle of north Italy, 12 
 miles S, W, of Reggie, In its courtyard the 
 Empeior Henry IV stood in penitential garb 
 for three days (Jan, 25-27, 1070) before Pope 
 Gregory VII admitted him to his presence and 
 removed the ban of excommunication, To 
 "Go to Canossa" is the modern phase for 
 preforming an act of humiliation at the com- 
 pulsion of another, 
 
 CHAPULTEPEC— A castle two miles S, W, of 
 Mexico City, taken by the U, S, troops under 
 Gen, Scott, September, 13 1847, 
 
 CHARLES V-Emperor of Germany, King of 
 Spain and the Netherlands, Born at Ghent, 
 Belgium, Fel)ruary 24, 1500, Presided at 
 
the Diet of Worms, 1521, to try Martin Lutlier 
 for heresy. Abdicated, October, 1555, 
 
 CHARLES XII— King of Sweden, Born June, 
 27, 1682, Crowned in 1692, Invaded 
 Russia and Poland, For three years he forced 
 the Russian army to a continual retreat. At 
 last Peter the Great made a stand at Pultowa, 
 July, 9, 1709, and most decisively defeated 
 and destroyed the Swedish army and Charles 
 XII was compelled to escape to Turkey,, where 
 he remained for three years. Meanwhile 
 Sweden was completely crushed by her ene- 
 mies, Charles returned to Sweden in 1712 
 and was killed at the siege of Frederickshall 
 December 11, 1718, 
 
 DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE— July, 4 
 1776, 
 
 DETMOLD— Chief town in the principality of 
 Lippe, Germany, situated east side of the 
 Teutoberger-Walde, Three miles S, W, of 
 Detmold stands the colossal statue of Ar- 
 minius, 
 
 EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION— By Abraham 
 Lincoln, August 22, 1862, 
 
 ETZEL— Chief of the Huns, defeated at the 
 battle of Chalons, A, D,, 451, Called Attila 
 a ruthless barbarian. He assumed the title 
 of "The Scourge of God," The following will 
 explain why the civilized people call the Ger- 
 man soldiers "Huns"; When the present 
 Emperor of Germany sent out his puntitive 
 
expedition to Cliina lie addressed liis soldiers 
 as follows: "When you encounter tlie enemy 
 you will defeat him, No quarters shall be 
 given; no prisoners shall be taken, Let all 
 who fall into your hands be at your mercy. 
 Just as the Huns, a thousand years ago, under 
 the leadership of Etzel, gained a reputation 
 by virtue of which they live in historical 
 tradition, so may the name of Germany be- 
 come known in such manner in China that 
 no Chinaman will ever again even dare to 
 look askance at a German," 
 
 FREDERICK THE GREAT— Born January 24, 
 1712, Crowned King of Prussia, Conduct- 
 ed the "Seven Years War" and at the peace 
 conference at Hubertsburg, February 15, 
 1763, he not only maintained his territory 
 undiminished, but he had also added a ten- 
 fold prestige to Prussia and to Prussian 
 arms, He died August 17, 1786, 
 
 HAMILCAR— Barca, The most illustrious of 
 the Carthaginian Generals, Born 270 B, C, 
 He was the father of the "Lion's Brood" — 
 Hannibal, Hadrusbal and Mago, He made 
 his eldest son Hannibal, at the age of nine, 
 swear on the alter of supreme Carthaginian 
 deity eternal hatred and enmity of Rome, 
 
 HANNIBAL— Bom 247, B, C, Invaded Italy, 
 218, and his second army of invasion arrived 
 in Italy, led by his brother Hadrusbal, in 207 
 B, C, Tried to form junction with Hannibal, 
 
but was defeated and slain by the Romans 
 under Claudius Nero, who ordered the head 
 of Hadrusbal thrown into the tent of Han- 
 nibal, When Hannibal saw his brother's 
 head he exclaimed "Ron^e will be the mistress 
 of the world," Hannibal died by his own 
 hand by poison in 188, B, C, See Zama, 
 
 HENRY IV— Holy Roman Emperor, Born 1050, 
 crowned King of Germany at the age of four, 
 during his father's lifetime, Henry's reign 
 was one of the most troubled in German his- 
 tory. Died 1106, 
 
 HERIVIAN — The German name for Arminius, 
 
 HOLLWEG— Von Bethmann, German Chancellor, 
 appointed July 14, 1909, Resigned, July, 
 14, 1917, 
 
 JANUS — Temple of, A Roman god, after whom 
 the month of January was named. His 
 temple was open in war and closed during 
 peace, 
 
 LANSING— Robert, Appointed Secretary of 
 State by President Wilson, June, 23, 1915, 
 
 LUTHER— MARTIN, The greatest protestant 
 reformer of the 16th century. Born at Eisel- 
 eben, Germany, 1483, Wrote his defy 
 against the Roman Church and nailed the 
 paper on the door of the church at Witten- 
 berg, October, 29, 1517, At the Diet of 
 Worms, before his Emperor Charles V, and 
 his powerful accusers, he finished his de- 
 fense with the memorable words; "Here I 
 
stand; I can't do otherwise,'' Was conde:iin- 
 ed to be burned, but escaped, He died in 
 Ills native town' February 17, 1546 
 
 MAGNA CHARTA— The Great Charter granted 
 by King John of England to tlie barons; is 
 the basis of the English constitution. At 
 Runnymede the barons forced their king to 
 sign the Charter on June 19, 1215, 
 
 MARNE— River in France, Battle of the Marne 
 September 8, and 9, 1914, At this engage- 
 ment the Germans were compelled to retire 
 to the Aisne, That battle not only saved 
 France, but it demonstrated that the Germans 
 could not win, for their high tide of invasion 
 had been reached and the ebb had set in. 
 For that reason the battle of the Marne will 
 no doubt take rank as one of the decisive 
 battles of the world, 
 
 MEPHISTOPHELES— A devil, and one of the 
 best known personifications of evil, 
 
 METARUS— Battle of tlie, B, C, 207, Claudius 
 Nero and Marcus Livius, combined, by forced 
 marches deceived both Hannibal and Hadrus- 
 bal. Annihilated the army of the latter near 
 the banks of the Metauro, See Hannibal, 
 
 MORDKESSEL— der German, the kettle of 
 slaughter, the supposed place where Varus 
 fell, 
 
 NAPOLEON'S NEMESIS—England, who fought 
 Bonaparte for sixteen years and finally de- 
 feated him at Waterloo, 
 
OBOLOS — A small silver coin of Athens, value 
 three cents, 
 
 PHILIP II— King of Spain and the Netherlands, 
 son and successor of his father, Charles V. 
 Was born 1527, During his reign he used 
 all the power of the Spanish Inquisition to 
 crush all who opposed his tyranny, Ijut the 
 effect in the low countries was a forniidable 
 revolt, whicli ended in 1579, with the northern 
 part, the Seven United Provinces, achieving 
 Independence, Philip died in 1598, 
 
 PETER THE GREAT— Peter l„ Alexandreievich, 
 born 1672, In 1703, on May 27, he laid 
 the foundation for a new capital, St Peters- 
 burg, now called Petrograd, In his long con- 
 test with Sweden the Russians were almost 
 always defeated. He had his revenge at last 
 in totally rout'ng the Swedish King, Charles 
 XII, at Pultowa, Peter died in 1725, 
 
 QUATREBRAS— Also written, "Quatre Bras;" 
 was the scene of a British victory over the 
 French, under Marshall Ney, on June 16, 
 1815, being a part of the Battle of Waterloo, 
 
 TEUTOBERGER-WALDE— A forest in Germany, 
 This region still retains the name, "Teuto- 
 berger-Walde Teutobergionsis saltus," which 
 it bore in the days of Arminius, 
 
 TREATY — Hay-Pauncefote, between the United 
 States and Great Britian, to facilitate the 
 construction of a ship canal. Ratifications 
 exchanged at Washington, February 21, 1902, 
 
TRIPLE ALLIANCE— Entered into by Germany, 
 Austria-Hungary and Italy, May 20, 1882, 
 Was renewed in 1891 for a period of 12 years 
 and on June 26, 1902, was again renewed 
 for the same period, terminating in the early 
 part of December, 1912, 
 
 TRIPLE ENTENTE— Includes Great Britian, 
 France and Russia, and with the friendship 
 of Italy, The agreement was made between 
 Great Britian and France in 1904 and with 
 Russia in 1907, "The Triple Entente Com- 
 prising Great Britian, France and Russia, 
 and the friendliness of Italy, is formed of 
 nations having a common interest and who 
 are friendly toward each other, amounting 
 to a reciprocal regard. Whereas, the Triple 
 Alliance is formed of nations who have nothing 
 in common and who, furthermore, are mortal 
 enemies. It is to be noted in this connection 
 that Germany was the only nation that DID 
 NOT offer condolence in regard to the catas- 
 trophe causesd by the eruption of Vesuvius," 
 N, Y, World Encyclopedia, 
 
 VARUS— QLiintilius, Roman general sent by Aug- 
 ustus to command the Roman Legions in 
 Germany, in the year A, D, 7, See Arminius, 
 
 VICEGERENT— Having or exercising delegated 
 power, At the outbreak of the present war 
 Emperor Wilhelm II illustrated his spirit of 
 fanatical absolutism by saying to his army; 
 
"Remember that the German people are the 
 chosen of God, On me, as German Emperor, 
 the spirit of God has descended, I am His 
 weapon; His sword; His Vicegerent; woe to 
 the disobedient! Death to cowards and un- 
 believers!" 
 
 WASHINGTON— George, The Father of his 
 Country, Born February 22, 1732, Com- 
 mander of the Continental arniy. First presi- 
 dent of the United States of America, 1789, 
 Died at Mount Vernon, December 14, 1799, 
 
 WILHELM II— Third Emperor of Germany and 
 Ninth King of Prussia, Born at Berlin, Jan- 
 uary 27, 1859, Succeeded his father, Fred- 
 erick III, June 15, 1888, 
 
 WILSON — Woodrow, the twenty-eighth presi- 
 dent of the United States, Born at Staunton, 
 Virginia, Dec, 28, 1856, This "Scholar in 
 Politics" has proven and turned out to be 
 a great man of action. His war IVIessage 
 to Congress, April 2, 1917, stands second to 
 no other state paper in the history of the 
 world. In its importance to manl<ind it will 
 be placed by posterity with the Magna Charta, 
 Declaration of Inependence and Lincoln's 
 Proclamation of Emancipation, 
 
 XERXES — The greatest invader of anc'ent 
 time. Born 485, B, C, He accompanied 
 his forces on their march through Thrace, 
 Thesaly and Locris; witnessed the battle of 
 
Thermopylae and the destruction of his fleet 
 at Salaniis, He was murdered by Artabanus 
 in 465, B, C, 
 
 ZAMA— Battle of, 201, B, C, where Hannibal 
 was utterly defeated by the Roman army 
 under Scipio Africanus, This memoral3le 
 dicisive battle compelled Carthage to sue 
 for peace, 
 
 ZEEBRUGGE— A seaport of Belgium, Province 
 of W, Flanders, Zeebrugge is now held by 
 the Germans and is used as a submarine 
 base. 
 
 Declarations of War Frevious to the Entrance 
 of the United States. 
 
 1914 
 
 July 28 — Austria vs. Serbia 
 
 Aug. 1 — Germany vs. Russia 
 
 Aug. 3 — Germay vs. Prance 
 
 Aug. 4 — Germany vs. Belgium 
 
 Aug. 4 — *Prance vs Germany 
 
 Aug. 4 — Great Brltian vs. Germany 
 
 Aug. 6 — Austria vs. Russia 
 
 Aug. 7 — Montenegro vs. Russia 
 
 Aug. 10 — France vs. Austria 
 
 Aug. 10 — Austria vs. Prance 
 
 Aug. 12 — Great Britiau vs. Austria 
 
 Aug. 12 — Montenegro vs. Germany 
 
 Aug. 2.3 — Japan vs. Germany 
 
 Aug. 25 — Austria vs. Japan 
 
 Aug. 2 8 — Austria vs. Belgium 
 
 Oct. 29 — *Turkey vs. Russia 
 
 Nov. 2 — Russia vs. Turkey 
 
 Nov. 5 — Great Britian vs. Turkey 
 
 Nov. 5 — Prance vs. Turkey 
 
 Nov. 7 — Belgium vs. Turkey 
 
Nov. 7 — Serbia vs. Turkey 
 
 Nov. 10 — Montenegro vs. Turkey 
 
 1915 
 May 23 — Italy vs. Austria 
 June 3 — San Marino vs. Austria 
 Aug. 20 — Italy vs. Turkey 
 Oct. 7 — Russia vs. Bulgaria 
 Oct. 14 — Bulgaria vs. Serbia 
 Oct. 14 — Great Britain vs. Bulgaria 
 Oct. 16 — Bulgaria vs. Russia 
 Oct. 10 — France vs. Bulgaria 
 Oct. 18 — Italy vs. Bulgaria 
 Oct. 18 — Montenegro vs. Bulgaria 
 
 1916 
 Mar. 9 — Germany vs. Portugal 
 Mar. 10 — Portugal vs. Germany 
 Mar. 16 — * Austria vs. Portugal 
 Aug. 2 8 — Italy vs. Germany 
 Aug. 28 — Rumania vs. Austria 
 Aug. 28 — Germany vs. Rumania 
 Aug. 30 — tRuniania vs. Bulgaria 
 Aug. 31 — Turkey vs. Rumania 
 Sept. — Bulgaria vs. Rumania 
 * Began hostilities without formal 
 declaration. 
 t Ultimatum. 
 
JTtftrcii i3rrt5ilir l^attlrs in the litstoru 
 of tijc Pm-Ii> 
 
 BATTLE OF MARATHON — B. 0. 490. Datis and Ara- 
 phernes. satraps of King Darius I. with a force oi 
 100.000 men, are utterly put to lout and defeated 
 by tlie Athenians and the Plataens under command o. 
 Miltiades, who had but 11,000 men. 
 
 DEFEAT OF THE ATHENIANS — E. C. 413. At Marathon 
 the Athenians struggled for self-preservation against 
 the invading armies of the East and won a glorious 
 victory. At Syracuse she appears as the ambitious 
 and oppressive invader of others and was ingloriously 
 defeated. 
 
 BATTLE OF ARBELA — B. C. 331. Alexander the Great 
 defeats Darius in, Persian ir.vader who escapes from 
 the battle field to Bactria, where he was murdered 
 by his Bactrian Satrap, Bessns. 
 
 BATTLE OF THE METAURUS — B. C. 207 (See Notes.) 
 
 VICTORY OF ARMINIUS— A. D. 9 (See Notes.) 
 
 BATTLE OF CHALONS — A. D. 451. The Roman Gen- 
 eral Aetius and his Gothic Allies defeat Attila. chief 
 of the Huns, whose savage boast was that grass never 
 grew on a spot where his horse had trodden This 
 battle took place five miles from the City of Chalons- 
 Sur-Marne and about sixty miles east from the place 
 where was fought the Battle of the Marne, Septem- 
 ber, 6-7-8. 1914, and being the second Hun defeat on 
 that famous river. 
 
 BATTLE OF TOURS — A. D. 732. Charles Martel de- 
 feats the Saracens under Abderrahman, who was slain 
 on the field and the Moselm invaders put to flight. 
 
 BATTLE OP HASTINGS — A. D. 1066. William of 
 Normandy defeats Harold II of England and by that 
 victory becomes William I of England and surnamed 
 William the Conqueror. 
 
JOAN OF ARC'S VICTORY — A. D. 1429. The French, 
 under the inspiring leadership of Joan of Arc, defeat 
 the Englisli at Orleans and thereby insured the de- 
 liverance of France from the English. Joan of Arc 
 was tried before an ecclesiastical Tribunal on the 
 charge of Witchcraft, and on the 30th of May, 1431, 
 she was burned aKve in the market place at Rouen. 
 
 DEFEAT OP THE SPANISH ARMADA — A. D. 15S8. 
 (See Notes.) 
 
 BATTLE OP BLENHEIM— A. D. 1704. Here the am- 
 bitious aggression of Louis IV was curbed and de- 
 cisively defeated by the Allies under John Churchill 
 Duke of Marlborough, who never fought a battle that 
 he did not win. and never besieged a place that he 
 did not take. The Allies were England, Holland, 
 Austria, Prussia and Portugal. After the battle of 
 Blenheim, Ulm, Landau. Treves and Traerbach sur- 
 rendered to the Allies. Before the close of the year 
 Bavaria submitted to the Emperor and the Hungarians 
 laid down their arms, and Germany was completely 
 delivered from the military power of Louis XIV. 
 
 BATTLE OF PULTOWA — A. D. 1709. (See Notes.) 
 
 DEFEAT OP BURGOYNE — October 7th, 1777. Being 
 the battle of Saratoga. Revolutionary War. 5,790 
 men surrendered to General Gates. Burgoyne's reg- 
 ular troops amounted, exclusive of the corps of 
 artillery, to about 7200 men, rank and file, nearly 
 half of these were Germans. He had also an auxiliary 
 force of about 2500 Canadians. He sommoned the 
 warriors of several tribes of Indians near the Western 
 lakes to join his army. 
 
 BATTLE OF VALMY— September 20, 1792. The French, 
 under Kellerman, defeat the invading Prussian and 
 French noblesse. The latter were to lead the way 
 upon defenseless Paris. On the very day and at the 
 selfsame hour in which the allied forces and the em- 
 igrants began to descend from La Lune, to the attack 
 of Valmy, and while the cannonade was opening be- 
 tween the Prussian and revolutionary batteries, the 
 debate in the National Convention at Paris commenced 
 
on the proposal to proclaim France a Republic. On 
 the following day the Proclamation making France a 
 Republic was issued and made public. 
 BATTLE OF WATERLOO— June 18, 1815. Napoleon 
 Bonaparte defeated by the Allies, under the Duke of 
 Wellington. The Allies were England, Prussia, Ba- 
 varia, Russia and Austria. 
 
 WARS OF U. S. 
 
 War of the Revolution — April 19, 1775 to April 11, 1783 
 War With France — July 9. 1798 to Sept. 30, 1800 
 War With Tripoli — June 10. 1801 to June 4, 1805 
 Creek Indian War — July 27, 1813 to Aug. 9. 1814 
 War With Great Britain — June 12,1812 to Feb. 17, 1815 
 Seminole Indian War — Nov. 20, 1817 to Oct. 21, 1818 
 Black Hawk Indian War — April 21, 1831 to Sept. 30, 1832 
 Florida Indian War — Dec. 23, 1835 to Aug. 14, 1843 
 War With Mexico — April 24, 1846 to July 4, 1848 
 Apache, Navajo and Utah War — April 24, 1849 to July 4, 
 
 1885 
 Seminole India War — April 24,1856 to July 5, 1865 
 Civil War— April 24, 1861 to April 9, 1865. 
 Spanish American War — April 21, 1898 to Dec. 10. 1898 
 War With Germany — April 6, 1917 to * 
 
 *To the Centennial year of the first Seminole Indian 
 War. 
 
 Gazette Publishing Company 
 Martinez. California 
 
XI 
 

 
 
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