^o ^^o « • • A* '^ ^^ ^^ *^ J' \ -% V . o « • - ^i. *-^'\ "7' Ho '-^^ ^>^*^k#C' J^ .-iq * /.'^-•%. /4V&\ /-'M--** # '''^. .^^ /% '"^^/^ iwy\ w%/"'^^ °^ The Man from Mexico BY H. A. DuSOUCHET SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York BILLETED. A comedy m 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 males, 6 females. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, constructed with uncommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. Margaret Anglin'« big success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy to produce and popular with aH audiences. Price, 60 Centf. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. Cos- tumes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2^ hours. Is it possible to tell the absolute truth — even for twenty-four hours? It is— at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," accomplished the feat. The bet he made with his business partners, and the trouble he got into— with his partners, his friends, and his fiancee— this is the subject of VVilliani Collier's tremendous comedy hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly recommended as one of the most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies that this country can boast. Price, 60 Cents. IN WALKED JIMMY. A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jaffa. 10 males, 2 females (although any number of males and females may be used as clerks, etc.) Two interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays 2'/^ hours. The thing into which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, when the clerks had all been fired, and when the proprietor was in serious contemplation of suicide. Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would have been a mysterious figure had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and his everlasting humanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won the heart of the girl clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped that place as a permanent boarding house himself, and foiled the villain. / Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature. Just a dash ol excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy make "In Walked Jimmy" one of the most delightful of plays. Jimmy is full of the religion of life, th« religion of happiness and the religion of helpfulness, and he sp_ permeates the atmosphere with his "religion" that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, good cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull moment in any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author ol the "Martha" stories. 5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes. Cos- tumes modern. Plays V/^ hours. It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint humor, old* fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see the play will recal^ and chuckle over tomorrow and the next day. ^ j Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for stage service! and in doing this has selected from her novel the most telling incidents, infectious comedy and homely sentiment for the play, and the result is thoroughly delightful, Price, 60 Cents; (The Abova Are Subiect to Royalty When Produced) SAMUEL FRENCH, 28.30 West 38th Street. New York City New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogrue Mailed Free on Request THE MAN FROM MEXICO A Farcical Comedy in Three AcU '^'7 BY H.'A. DU SOUCHET OOPTSIQHT, 1897, BT H. A. DU SOUCHET ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ■ CAUTION.— Profesaionala and Amateurs are hereby warned that CHE MAN FROM MEXICO being: fully protected under the copy- right laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and anyone presenting the play without the consent of the owner or his authorized •gents will be iable to the penalties by law provided. Application for the amateur right to produceTHE MAN FROM MEXICO must be made to Samuel French, 23-30 West 38th Street, New York City. Application tor th0 professional acting rights must be made to Sanger & Jordan. li32Broadway. New York City. NEW YORK SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHER 28-30 WEST ;38TH STREET LONDON SAMUEL FRENCH. LTD. ■26 SOUTHAMPTON STREllT STRAND Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance of it may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such infringement shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not less than one hundred nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the court. Act of March 4, igog. 1 'i THE MAN FROM MEXICO iTHARACTERS. Benjamin Fitzhew Col. Roderick Majors LOVEALL Von Bulow Bismark Schmidt Edward Farrar Richard Daunton Timothy Cook A Tammany Deputy Sheriff Officer O'Mullins GOOGAN Louis A waiter from the Cleopatra Clementina Fitzhew Sallie Graice Nettie Majors Miranda ,,,.A Maid Act I. Ice water. Act II. Warm water. Act hi. Hot v;atero o u < U THE MAN FROM MEXICO ACT I. Scene: — Bell at rise, Miranda enters at rise r. 2 with two syphons. Puts them on stand by piano L. Miranda. Poor Mr. Fitzhew is in a terrible state. It's too bad his wife is out of town. I do hope she will come back soon. (Hears bell off R. 2) There's that bell again! All right! Mr. Fitzhew comes home at noon with Mr. Majors; he does nothing but ring for seltzer and ice water. I wonder what he does with it all? Nice excuse! Just because Mrs. Fitzhew is away visiting her mother Mr. Fitzhew stays out all night and_ comes home with a strange looking man who is in that room now. He seems to be watching Mr. Fitzhew as a cat does a mouse. (Hears bell off R. 2) All right, I'm coming! (Takes pitcher from table r. c. to door R. 2 E.) Here, sir! There's something strange about it all. After inviting guests to dinner in honor of Miss Sallie's engagement to Mr. Daunton, Mrs. and Mr. Fitzhew both find some excuse for remaining away and compel poor Miss Sallie to make all the necessary arrangements. (At table r. c, turns to go up c, meets Sallie. Enter Sallie c. d., from l., street dress, with hat) Sallie. (To sofa l. c.) Miranda, is there any message from my sister? Miranda, (r. c.) No, Miss Sallie; but Miss Majors has called. Sallie. (l.) Where is she? Miranda, (r. c.) In your room. 5 6 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Sallie. (l.) Send her to me! {Goes to sofa, sits, takes hat off) Miranda. Yes, Miss Sallie. (Exits r. i e.) Sallie. I do wish Clementina would come home. It's bad enough to be the object of suspicion with- out being obliged to attend to all the details. (Bell heard off-stage r. 2 e. Enter Nettie r. i e.) Nettie. ( Crosses down r. c. ) You're home at last. I called to tell you that I received word from the President of the Ladies Flower Mission that they are going to visit the prison next week, and we are all invited to attend. (Enter Miranda R. 2 E. with pitcher, exits r. i e.) Sallie, big secret. (Crosses l. c.) Pop was out all night, didn't get home until noon, changed his clothes and went out again. Sallie. Wliere was he? Nettie. I don't know and don't care. (Sallie goes back to sofa, sits) It doesn't do to know too much. All I want is a loophole to hang the doubt upon. (Sits of R. end of sofa l. c. zvith Sallie) Sallie. What do you mean? Nettie. You see I have a scheme, I keep a little book, and as I discover I need a new pair of gloves or shoes, instead of going to Pop for them one at a time, I jot them all down, when I think there is a good chance — (Enter Miranda r. 2 e., with pitcher) I spring them all at once. This staying out all night is good for two or three pages in my book. Sallie. I think I'll try the same thing. Miranda. Yes, Miss Sallie, you've got the same chance. Mr. Fitzhew was out all night and he didn't come home until noon. (Exits c. d. to l.) Nettie. They must have been together. I'll swell those four-button gloves from four to twenty- six, and add some silk shirtwaists and a pair of white shoes. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 7 Sallie. Why, Nettie, that would be blackmail. Nettie. Different people have different names, you know. (Rises, crosses, to chair l. of table) "' A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I just jot it all down under the heading of : " Betting- on a sure thing." You need not care, you are fixed. {Sits on chair l. of table) Sallie. That's just what I am worrying about. Why, the guests are all invited, when the formal announcement of my engagement is to be made, Clementina suddenly makes up her mind she must go to Mt. Vermon and see mother. Nettie. That's right find fault. Your sister and brother-in-law do all they can to make your wedding a social triumph and you find fault because your mother is ill and she has to go to her for a day or two. Sallie. I wouldn't care if mother were really ill, but I know it's only one of her hysterical fits, just because I am going to be married. Nettie, When did she go? Sallie. (Rises, crosses to Nettie) Last night. Ben went out to an installation of officers, he said. Mr. Farrar called, and while Richard and I were playing chess, Clementina suddenly makes up her mind she must go to see her mother. Nettie. Who is this Mr. Farrar? Sallie. Oh, you have not met him. He is a nephew of the District Attorney. Clementina met him at the art gallery two or three v;eeks ago, and he asked her if he might call. He did so, last night, for the first time, Nettie. In love with you, eh? I am going to tell Richard. Sallie. (Crosses back to sofa) It wouldn't do you a bit of good ; he wouldn't believe you. Nettie. Does Mr. Farrar know you are engaged ? Sallie. Well, not exactly. Yon see he is one 8 THE :MAN from MEXICO. of the stockholders at the Opera House, and when he placed his box at our disposal for Thursday nights — {Naively) well, I thought it better not to tell him until after the announcement of the engage- ment. {Sits) Nettie. You schemer! {Enter Daunton c. from l.) Daunton. Ah! there you are! {Crosses l. c.) Nettie. Hello, bridegroom ! Daunton. Not quite yet, but soon, eh, little one ? (Goes to Sallie) Sallie. Well, we can't set the day until after the announcement to-night. But promise me one thing. Daunton. You ! Anything. Sallie. Promise I can't make it too soon to please you. Daunton. Too soon? Impossible. Just give me an idea ho7v soon. Sallie. Now, let me see. Let's be patriotic — say the 4th of July? Daunton. All right. Nettie. That's the worst day in the year for a wedding. {Rises, crosses c.) Daunton and Sallie. Why? Nettie. What's a wedding to do with the Dec- laration of Independence? Daunton. Ever>'thing. But not to each other, as some people im.agine. It should be the binding together of two people, who declare their alle- giance each to the other, and their independence of the whole world. Sallie. Ain't he cute ? Daunton. Well, I just dropped in to say hello. You'll excuse me until evening. (Nettie crosses R. c. Starts tip c, stops) You see I have a build- ing going up a few blocks from here. Nettie. Your own? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 9 Daunton. Mine? Oh, no, but an architect looks upon a building for which he has prepared the plans, very much as a parent does a child. He watches it from the first breaking of the ground until the final cornice is placed. But I'll be back in time for the reception. Remember, nine o'clock. (Rises) (Sallie goes to c. D. Daunton exits c. to l.) Nettie. (Crossing up to Sallie) Sallie, I think you've made a good choice, and if he draws up a good set of plans and specifications for your future lives, you'll have no fault to find. (Both exit r. i e. Enter Farrar l. 3 e., looking about stage.) Farrar. It's all right, nobody's here. Come in, Mrs. Fitzhew. (Crosses r. c.) (Enter Clementina l. 3 e., ) Clementina. (Crosses 'to sofa l. c.) That's the last time I'll ever try to catch my husband. (Sits on sofa) Oh, the disgrace, the disgrace of it all ! To think that 1 should be arrested and taken to that dreadful station-house! Farrar. (Crosses c, front of table) But, my dear Mrs. Fitzhew, you really have no cause for alarm. You are not known in the matter at all. When I explain it to my uncle, the District At- torney, I am sure it will be dropped from the calendar. Clementina. But should my husband ever learn Farrar. Impossible, Madam, impossible. I have never met your husband, but expect to have that pleasure shortly. 10 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Clementina. Are you quite sure my identity has been entirely concealed? Farkar. Quite positive. No one saw you at the Cleopatra. Clementina. Yes, that waiter saw me. Farrar. I'll have him arrested, put out of the way until you are quite safe. But, Mrs. Fitzhew, I would like to speak to you about your sister, Sallie. Clementina. (Aside, crosses r.) If she is engaged to Richard, he may withdraw his influence. Farrar. I have only met her once, but she is quite my ideal of "-omanhood. Clementina. You must call on her, ^Ir. Farrar. Farrar, Thank you. (Starts up c.) Clementina. But how about my afifair? (Rises) Farrar. (Crosses back to her, l. c.) I repeat, Madam, you have no cause for alarm. (Crosses to c. D.) I'll go and see my uncle at once — but may I call again to see her? Clementina. (Rises, crosses up c.) Yes, any time, only see me safely through this horrid affair first. Farrar. I'll do all in my power for your sake, and hers. (Exits c. /o l.) Clementina. (Crosses r. c.) Thank you. What am I to do? Thirty guests will hear of her engagement to-night, they may tell Mr. Farrar and then he'll refuse to help me. Oh, I must in some way postpone it. (Crosses l. c. Sits on sofa l. c. Enter Nettie r. i e.) Nettir You here! Why, I thought you went to see your mother ? Clementina. (Rises) Yes, I know. (Takes Nettie to sofa — both sit) Nettie, I can depend upon you. Mr. Farrar must not learn of Sallie's engagement for a few days. Can't you think of some way to postpone it ? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. ii Nettie. Why, has your mother- Clementina. My mother knows nothing at all about it. I have not even seen my mother. Nettie. But you said Clementina. Yes, but it was all an excuse — a wretched, wretched excuse. Nettie, promise me that you will keep my secret. Nettie. Why, of course I will — but you are nervous. Clementina. Nervous ! Why, if I were of a nervous disposition, I would never be able to stand it. I'm not a bit nervous — simply agitated, upset. (Crash. She starts, rises) Oh, what was that? Nettie. Nothing, dear ; perhaps Sallie, upstairs. Clementina. (Sits) The disgrace! Assure me you will keep it from my husband, from Sallie, from everj'body ! Nettie. Why, of course, I will. Clementina. Nettie, I overheard your father suggesting to my husband that as I was going on a visit to my mother, it would be a good time for them to take in that racket with the girls. Nettie. What's a racket? Clementina. That's what I wanted to know, but I found out. I am not jealous — Nettie, no one could accuse me of that, but I determined to see for myself. Last night I went to the Cleopatra, the scene of the racket. Nettie. Oh, I know, that's one of those_ places where meals are served while the entertainment is going on. Clementina. Yes, but how do you know that? Nettie. Oh. I have heard Pop speak of them, but I always supposed Mr. Fitzhew was such a model husband. Clementina. Yes, Nettie, that is just why I suspected him. (Starts— rises) Oh, what was that? Nettie. (Rises) Nothing, dear. You are 12 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. nervous. (Sits. Pulls Clementina down in seat) Clementina. Nervous? Why, the idea! I am not a bit nervous. (Crash off -stage r. 3 e. Rises, crosses c.) Now that zvas something. Nettie. Yes, but don't worry. Sit down and tell me all about last night. (Both sit.) Clementina. Nettie, you know I'm not jealous — no one could accuse me of that — when Mr. Fitzhew left the house last night, instead of going to my mother, I prevailed upon Mr. Farrar to accompany me to this awful place, the Cleopatra. I was heavily veiled and had just entered the room into which we were shown by an officious waiter, when the place was raided by the police, and we were all taken to that dreadful station-house. Nettie. And Mr. Fitzhew? Clementina. He could not have been there, be- cause everyone was arrested and he was not among them, for I saw them all. Nettie. And they all saw you? Clementina. No, thank Heaven, no one but that wretched waiter. As I fell fainting into a chair, he rushed toward me with a glass of water, and raising my veil before I could prevent it, drenched me with its icy contents. We were re- leased, pending further investigation. Mr. Farrar assures me he will be able to hush the matter up, but I am in hourly, momentary terror that my hus- band may learn of my disgrace. (Rises, crosses c.) Nettie. (Rises) But can you trust Mr. Farrar to keep your secret f Clementina. I must, there is no alternative. But Sallie must never know. Where is she? Nettie. Upstairs, preparing to go with me to meet you. Come, (Starts up l. c.) dear, jump in a taxi, and hurr}- to the depot. I will delay her THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 13 here, to give you time to get there, we will meet you as though the train had just come in. Clementina. You will find me in the station- house. (Crossing to c. d.) Nettie. Station-house ? Clementina. I mean the waiting-room. {Exit Clementina c. to l.) Nettie. And my Pop in it, too. I'll add a new Aeroplane suit to that list. (Crosses to door R. 3 e.) (Enter Majors l, 3 e., window.) Majors. Hello, Nettie dear. . Nettie. I say. Pop, I have no time to talk busi- ness with you now, but when I return, I have a few important things to say. (Exit Nettie l. i e.) Majors. All right, my dear, good-day, good- day. Well, that was a nice scrape Fitz got into last night. I suppose I will have to get him out of it, as I always do. I must start in to fix this thing up some way — where will I begin? I must get rid of that Sherifif at any cost, before Fitzhew's wife gets back. (Crosses r. 2, calls) Cook! Cook! Come here. (Crosses c. Enter Cook r. i E.) Where is Mr. Fitzhew? Cook. (r. c.) He's in his room, dressing. Majors. Has he seen you yet ? Cook. No, but I've been watching him for the last two hours from behind that door. Majors. Oh ! but he had a bird on last night. Cook. I think it about time you bring him out, he'd better be posted before his wife comes home. Majors. I say, Cook, can't I induce you to leave the house? As I said before, / will be per- sonally responsible for his appearance. Cook. And as I said before, it can't be done. Money might have got him off, but he insulted His Honor, and they are going to make an example of him. He's got to go with me to the Island before six o'clock. 14 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Majors. The devil of it is, Fitz don't know he was arrested. He never would have thought of insulting a Judge in his sober senses. I never saw a man so stupefied ! Cook. Perhaps they gave him knockout drops. Majors. Knockout drops — no, I don't think so. A very little goes a great ways with Fitz. Now / have fixed it with the newspapers — he is not known under his real name. He was sentenced under the name of John Martin. Cook. And / was paid liberally for allowing him to come home to fix matters up for his trip to the cooler. Majors. Yes, and / paid you. Cook. Well, you had better get him out. I am tired of staying in that dark room, and I am going to keep a sharp eye on him. One fellow gave me the slip onct. and this one better not try it. He's only got two hours — get him out. {Bus. crosses — goes to Majors, c.) Majors. Oh, very well. Fitz, Fitz! (Crosses to R. c.) FiTZHEw. {Off-stage) All right. I'll be there in a minute. Majors. {Comes back to Cook, c.) Now, you step aside until I break it to him gently. Fitz! (Enter Fitzhew r. 2. zvith pitcher, places it on table, c.) Did you have breakfast? Fitzhew. Yes, three cigarettes. That was an awful night, last night, wasn't it? (Takes tozvel off) Majors. Awful. I say, Fitz, how does your head feel? Fitzhew. I'm afraid to feel it. Majors. It's splitting. Majors. Take a drink. It will do you good. Fitzhew. Won't you join me? Majors. No. thank vou. Fitzhew. Majors, for the last hour I have been THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 15 seeing the most horrible things in my room — ( Taking drink, sees Cook) there's one of them now, {Crosses to Majors l. c, Cook crosses l. c.) Who is that, Majors ? Majors. That, oh — that is iMr. Cook. Mr. Fitzhew, Mr. Cook. Cook. Hello! (Crosses l. of fable c.) Fitzhew. Hello! He's a telephone man, isn't he? (Crosses to Majors) Friend of yours. Majors ? Majors. No, merely an acquaintance. Fitzhew. Oh, I see. What is he doing here? I don't like his looks. Majors. The fact is, he came home with us this morning. Fitzhew. Oh, someone you picked up — bar- room acquaintance? Well, he looks it. (Crosses R. with Majors. Cook follows) Let's come over here and compare notes about last night. Now, after we left the Cleopatra — ask your friend to ex- cuse himself. Majors, (r. c.) Oh, he's all right. Fitzhew. (r.) Is he? Well, I don't propose to have a stranger overhear my private affairs. ( To Cook) I said private affairs. (Crosses Majors to Cook) Majors. (Cook crosses back of Majors and Fitzhew to door r. 2. Aside) I suppose I must tell him everything that happened last night. Fitzhew. Well, if he won't go, we will. Step in my room. (Crosses up, Majors foUoivs. Starts to go) Cook. (Stopping him) AT'o, you don't ! Fitzhew. I beg your pardon, but this is my private apartment. Majors. Don't be afraid to speak before him; why he knows it all. Fitzhew. Well, he doesn't look as if he did. Come on over here. (Crosses l. c. ivith Majors, i6 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW and Majors cross l. Cook goes up- stage) Why don't you tell me something about it? I don't know anything that happened last night. Now, after we left the Cleopatra, where did we go? Majors, (l.) To the Prospect, and we didn't leave the Cleopatra any too soon, at my suggestion — after we left, the place was raided by the police. FiTZHEW. I remember that, I remember running, and I remember that dark-eyed beauty, Paquita. Majors. Yes, you did admire her, and do you know that you allowed her to take the photograph case your wife gave you? FiTZHEW. I di3n't do anything of the kind. It fell out of my pocket, she picked it up and wouldn't give it back. What happened next? Majors. Well, I suggested that we call a taxi for the ladies. FiTZHEW. How did I get in that row with the taxi-driver ? Majors. How? Because he refused to drive you to some woods in Jersey to see the sun rise at one o'clock in the morning. After / left, the policeman came up. FiTZHEW. After you left? It seems to me you knew when to leave. Majors. I got rid of Paquita so as to avoid a scandal. Now, your wife is out of town and she'll know nothing of this if you are a little careful. Now I have fixed it all with the newspapers, (l.) FiTZHEW. (c.) Fixed it? Fixed what? CooK. (c.) You had better explain to him. FiTZHEW. I should say so. Somebody had bet- ter explain. Majors. Well, the truth of it is, you were arrested. (Crosses to l. c.) FiTZHEW. What! (l. c.) Majors. And sentenced for thirty days. FiTZHEW. Now, don't talk nonsense. Majors, don't joke like this this morning. I am weak. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. t^ Cook. (Crosses to Fitzhew) Say, here is my authority. {Shozus badge) And you have got to go with me to Blackwell's Island and serve thirty days. Fitzhew. I think I'll go back to bed again and have this dream out. (Crosses r.) Cook. No, you don't. (Stops him) Majors. Better wake up, Fitz, and settle your affairs. (Cook crosses up r. c.) Fitzhew. (Goes to Majohs) Why, Majors, you talk as if this was my last hour on earth. Isn't there any way out of this? Majors. I don't know of any. Fitzhew. You don't mean to say that I Majors. I have it ! There is one chance left. Fitzhew. For Heaven's sake, take it. Majors. Young Farrar is in love with your sister-in-law, Sallie. Now if you could give this fellow some encouragement Fitzhew. Of course, I can. I'll give this fellow all the encouragement he wants. But I don't know him. Who is this young Farrar? Majors. He's the nephew of the District At- torney. Fitzhew. Well, I should say I could give him encouragement ! You tell him he has my permission to make love to Sallie the rest of his life. (Goes to table c, takes a drink) Majors. Good ! Fitzhew. Of course it's good — it's immense! Majors. But Daunton might kick. Fitzhew. What do I care about Daunton.. What's an architect compared to a District At- torney, in a case like mine? Majors. I thought you would say something like that, so I have already written to the District ^■iS THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Attorney, and expect an answer from him any moment, b..: I am sorry for Daunton. FiTZHEW. Oh, let Daunton go and build a brick wall 'round himself and stay in it. Fll postpone his engagement dinner. (Looking at zvatch) I have plenty of time, it's only a little after three. Majors. Be careful now ; you don't want to miss that Island boat. FiTZHEW. Yes, I do want to miss that Island boat. (Crosses to Majors l. c, Cook crosses up c.) You seem to take a great delight in having me make this little trip to the Island. Now, you know this thing can be fixed. Majors, you know I won't go to the Island. I will dismiss the idea — (Sees Cook) No! I can't with that thing over there. Look at that hat? Will you take that hat off, please? Why doesn't he go and hide some- place? Doesn't he ever eat, or sit down? (Cook goes behind screen up r. c.) The idea of my going to jail and wearing a striped suit ! Why a striped necktie makes me crosseyed — Here I am, with a dinner for thirty persons on my hands — I'll have handcuff's on them before morning — on my hands, I mean. Why, it's absurd ! (Enter Clementina c. from l.) Clement.na. (r. c, aside) [I wonder if he knows?] Ah, Benjamin — (Bus.) Well, this is a warm welcome, and you haven't seen me for twenty- four hours. FiTZHEW. Hello! You see I have a headache and there are strangers present. Clementina. But Mr. Majors is no stranger. FiTZHEW. Of course not. (Cook looks up over to c. of screen up r. c.) Take that hat off. Clementina. What's that? FiTZHEW. Not you; I mean him. Clementina. (Turns and sees Cook) Why! Who is that? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 19 FiTZHEW. That, my dear — is — Mr. — Mr.- CooK. (Bowing) Cook, ma'am. {Comes from behind screen, up-stage) Clementina. Cook? (To Fitzhew) Oh, the new cook for our dinner to-night. (Comes doivn R. c. To Cook) You may step downstairs, Fll see you in a few minutes. {Turns to Fitzhew who is nervously watching Majors all through scene) I was afraid I shouldn't get back in time for the dinner. {Sees Cook up-stage) Why don't that man go downstairs? Fitzhew. {To Cook, aloud) Yes, why don't you go downstairs? Clementina. Wait for me downstairs, please. Fitzhew. Yes, wait for us downstairs, when she tells you, hurry up, — hurry down, I mean. {Crosses l. c.) Majors. {Aside, down l.) Things are getting pretty warm here. I do hope the letter from the District Attorney will come. (Fitzhew lighting cigarette; hand trembling.) Clementina. Benjamin, you seem very nervous. (R. C.) Fitzhew. Oh, no, I don't like the cook. Won't you get out? (Enter Miranda c. d. l.) Miranda. (Crosses dozvn l. c. between Fitzhew and Majors) A letter from the District At- torney's office. All. (Cook from behind screen. Bus. Start for Miranda — Majors takes letter) District At- torney ? Majors. For me. (Opens letter. Miranda exits c. D. L.) Clementina. (Sees Cook) Why doesn't that man go? 20 " THE MAN FROM MEXICO. iuTZHEW. Get out of here! {Up c. Bus. Stamps foot. Cook goes behind screen) Clementina. {Looks at Fitzhew. Aside, r. c.) Fm suii he's nervous. {Crosses to Majors L. c.) Don't you think so, Mr. Majors? Majors. {Bus. reading letter) It's too damned bad. Clementina. What? , Majors. Oh, I beg your pardor^. 1 hat^ ref- erence to the letter. (Fitzhew shakes fist at Majors front behind Clementina. Majors has opened letter and is reading its contents without making any signs. Fitzhew is wild with curiosity to know its contents.) Clementina. {Aside) I'd Hke to know what's in that letter. {Crosses to Majors) Mr. Daunton, I feel sure, will make Sallie happy — I am very particular you know. (Fitzhew has grozvn desperate and finally breaks in upon Clementina.) Fitzhew. My dear! Don't you see that Mr. Majors wants to read his letter? Come, we'll go. {Starts up stage zvith Clementina) Cook. {Comes f/om behind screen) No, you don't. Fitzhew. See, we can't go now. {Crosses c. to Majors. Fitzhew goes to Majors) What is it? (Majors looks at letter again — Fitzhew, agitated, keeps his eye on Majors and his wife.) Majors. Get ready, Fitz, I've failed! You go to jail for thirty days. (Fitzhew puffing cigarette, goes tip-stage.) THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 21 Clementina. We must arrange some enter- tainment for our guests. Mr. Majors, I am sure, will help us out ! FiTZHEw. (Comes down-stage) Yes. (Aside) He's a dandy to help anybody out. Clementina. I trust your letter didn't bring any bad news? (Crosses to door r. i) Majors. Bad news? Ha, ha! She thinks this letter contains bad news! Ha, ha! (Gaily) FiTZHEW. Ha, ha! (Bus. feeling head) Majors. Bad news ! No, indeed ; I have a friend in the office. FiTZHEW. (Imitating, aside) And one in jaiL Clementina. (Crosses r. c.) Now, about the supper. We must arrange some entertainment for our guests. Let me see — first, Fll have the wine put in the cooler FiTZHEW. (Aside) That's where they'll put me. Clementina. (Crosses to door r. i) I declare it will be quite an event — just think, thirty ! FiTZHEW. Thirty ! She's on, Majors ! Clementina. I only wish it were more. (Exits R. I E.) FiTZHEW. (To Clementina) I'm damned if I do! Thirty is enough for anyone. (Crosses to center) Now, what's in that letter? Majors. It seems I made a mistake — I should have demanded a stay. (Crosses to him) FiTZHEW. I got the stay alright. Majors. I did all / could. FiTZHEW. That's what you did — I do thirty days! Majors. Perhaps I can get you out to-morrow. Fitz, my boy, we have got to look the situation calmly in the face. FiTZHEW. No! You're not in it ! If you hadn't said you could fix it, I would have done it myself. Simply told my wife I was going out of town for a few days but now I get up from the table — in the 22 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. middle of the soup, maybe — and say : " Excuse me, I'm going abroad for thirty days ! " That will sound very plausible, won't it? Majors. Whr.t else can you do? FiTZHEW. Nothing — I'll tell my wife I am going out of town. Majors. But won't they think it mighty sudden? FiTZHEW. It is sudden — I didn't expect it. Majors. Look here, Fitz, how about the an- nouncement of Sallie's engagement to Daunton to- night ? FiTZHEW. That's so, that does take place to- night. I had forgotten all about that. Something else to worry me. You just help yourself to a drink, Majors, while I put on my coat. {Goes in room r. 2, and changes coat. Cook comes dozvn- stage c.) I'll arrange that with Daunton and Sallie until you see Farrar. Promise him anything, but he must get me out of jail before my wife knows anything about it. If Clemmie had the slightest suspicion — (Comes out of door r. 2, runs into Cook • — Bits. FiTZHEW takes hold of Cook, they struggle — Both cross l.) Majors. Don't hurt him. Fitz. Cook. Here ! If you come any of that business, I'll break you in two. FiTZHEW. (Puts glasses on) Remember, I have glasses on. (Bus. as Cook turns away to R.) Yes, you will. (Bus. Cook turns on Fit::::ew.) Majors. Come now, Fitz, Sheriflf Cock's r. gcod fellow — shake hands with him, and be friends — (L. C.) FiTZHEW. (Apart to Majors) I don't see why it's necessary to shake hands with the Sheriff. Majors. Oh, you don't. My boy ! Suppose he took it into his head to tell your wife the truth ? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 2^ FiTZHEW. That's so. I never thought of that. Look at that hat — will you take that hat oft', please ? And sit down — (Cook sits chair l. of table r. c.) You'll excuse me, I'm a little nervous. Cook. Gents in your fix usually is. FiTZHEw. I know they is — sometimes we am, ain't we? Will you have a drink? Cook. Not on duty. FiTZHEW. (Aloud) I know, but when off-duty, you might be persuaded to change your mind. (Gives Cook money) Majors. Fitz, I'll see Farrar personally — I'm sure I can fix this matter for you. (Cook grabs for Fitzhew's hand. Rises, goes back of table.) , FiTZHEW. You've got it all. What do you want ? My watch? (To Majors l. c.) Keep your hands in your pockets. Majors ! You don't think he will say anything about this to my wife, do you? Majors. Leave that to me? I'll fix it — (FiTZHEW goes to l. Majors crosses r. to Cook's L.) By the way, Mr. Cook, now to avoid any mis- takes in the future, don't say too much, and no matter what we ask you, let your answer be : " That's right." Cook. That's right. FiTZHEW. That's right. (Sits on sofa l.) Cook. You want me to say, " That's right ? " Majors. That's right. Cook. It goes! (Goes tip-stage to screen) Majors. By the way, Fitz. here's your card- case. I took it so they wouldn't learn your re:.l name. There was only one card in it, and I used that. I suppose you don't remember the long- haired crazy Dutchman who took the taxi-driver's part? FiTZHEW. No ! 24 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Majors. Of course you don't. That was after you had gone with the poHceman. I slapped his face. He demanded satisfaction. I told him to demand it when he was sober. Then he said he would call on me personally for satisfaction. FiTZHEw. What did you do then? Majors. Well, to get rid of him, I gave him your card. FiTZHEW. (Rises — starting up) W^hat's that? ,You gave the Dutchman my card ? Majors. Don't you see, it would never have done for him to call on me, but as your wife was out of town, I thought FiTZHEW. Majors, if you don't stop thinking where I am concerned, I'll get thirty years, instead of thirty •days. ^Majors. But my boy, he won't know you from Adam. Besides, it will be getting me out of a little scrape. Now, that ought to comfort you! (Crosses np to piano) FiTZHEW. (Crosses r. c.) I know it ought to, but it doesn't. See here, I wish you'd do some- thing else besides talk and give my cards away. What's the matter with hunting up the District Attorney? (Crosses up c. to Majors) Majors. By George, Fitz, that's the best idea I've struck yet — (Gets hat from piano up l. c.) 1 knew I'd fix this for you if you'd give me half a chance, I was just thinking FiTZHEW. You stop thinking and let's go and find this District Attorney. I'll tell him of his nephew's mtention to marry into my family. Ke'll hardly allow his future relative to be put in jail ! If I fix this thing up with Farrar and Sallie— I may not have to go to jail at all. Majors. That's just what I told you. FiTZHEW. When did you tell me? Majors. I didn't exactly tell you, but that's Bvhat I was thinking about a few minutes ago. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 25 Mow, you follow me and I'll fix this for you. {Exits L. 3 E.) FiTZHEW. {Starts to exit) All right. (CooK comes from behind screen, crosses c. Stops) That's just like me, I'm forgetting something — Oh, yes, Cook — come on, Cook. {Exit Fitzhew and Cook l. 3 e.) {Enter Clementina r. i e., crosses r. c.) Miranda. {Off-stage, l. c.) Whom do you wish to see? Schmidt. {Off-stage) Don't stop me. I have business here. {Enter Schmidt c. d. l.) Clementina. {Turns and comes face to face with Schmidt, an eccentric poetic German of thirty, who enters c. door. Clementina dropping back astonished) Are you the District Attorney? Schmidt. No, I am — (Drawing himself up proudly) Von Bulow Bismarck Schmidt. {Pro- ducing card) Your husband ! Benjamin Fitzhew ! Slapped my face last night ; I demanded satisfac- tion, and he gave me this card. {Hands card to Clementina, crosses l. c. She reads it and puts it on table R.) Clementina. {Reads card) My husband struck \ou? And you ? Schmidt. I left him mit der policeman ! I vould not soil my hands mit sooch a drunken loaver. Clementina. Loafer ! Schmidt. Madam, I moost congratulate you on dat puddin' face vind bag dat you selected for a husband. Clementina. {Crosses l. c.) When and where did you see my husband? Schmidt. Last night — mit two ladies und a policeman, near the Prospect. Clementina. Where is the Prospect? Schmidt. Just across der way from der Cleopatra. 26 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Clementina. Then he was at the Cleopatra, and escaped the poHce. My husband has deceived me ! (Crosses r. c.) Majors. {Aside as he enters l. 3) We looked everywhere for the District Attorney, but could not find him. {Turns and sees Schmidt) The Dutch- man! Schmidt. Dot's him. Clementina. Whom? Schmidt. Your ideal of manly beauty, dat in- sulted me on my nose last night ! Clementina. Are you sure? Schmidt. Sure ! Ah, Gott, could I forget a face like dot ? Major. {Chasing Schmidt around sofa) What ! You ! Clementina. {Stops Majors) Mr. Majors, don't hurt him, don't strike him here. Schmidt, (l. c.) No, don't strike me any place. Majors. (l. Violently) Why — you — you — you! (Checks himself — aside) No, for Fitz's sake, I'll not strike him. Schmidt. My dear Madam, don't be alarmed. In the presence of a lady, I will not fight. I am a chentleman, who can only demand satisfaction from his equals. {To Clementina) I take my leafe. (Going up, aside) Und dis card to der police! '{Aloud, crosses to door c, turns) Puddin' face! Majors. {Starts for Schmidt) What! {Exit Schmidt l. c. e.) Clementina. {Stops Majors)' Mr. Majors, what does all this mean? Majors. {Both come down R. C.) Why, my dear, it's only a little row your husband got into with this Dutchman. Pay no attention to it — I'll f.x it. {Crosses to i..) THE MAN FROM AIEXICO. 27 (Enter Fitzhew and Cook l. c. Bus. Fitzhew pushes Cook behind screen.) Fitzhew. (Clementina crosses r. c.) Now, Qemmie — why, what's the matter? (l. c.) Clementina. Fve just learned of that disgrace- ful affair last night, (r. c.) Fitzhew. What afifair? (Crosses l. c.) Majors, (c.) That row you know. Fitzhew. What row I know? Majors. Why, the row you got into with the Dutchman before you were arrested. Fritzhew. The row / got into with the Dutch- man? Clementina. Benjamin, who is the guilty party ? Fitzhew. Why, Majors ! Majors. What ! Fitzhew. Certainly. He gave my card to a man he had a row with ! Clementina. But who was arrested? Fitzhew. (With decision) Majors — and I got him out. (Cook comes from behind screen.) Majors. (Apart to Fitzhew) Do you sup- pose I'll allow Fitzhew. (Apart to Majors) You can't help yourself. You were arrested. Majors. (Apart) Can't I? I'll show you — (Aloud) Cook, am I in your charge? Cook. (Stepping down-stage) That's right. (Majors crosses l. c, Fitzhew crosses c.) Fitzhew. (To Clementina) There, you see, my dear. (To Cook) He was arrested last night? Cook. That's right. 28 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. Certainly that's right. And I paid you to get him out ? (Crosses up to Cook) Cook. {Bus. showing money) That's right. FiTZHEvv, There's the money. And you would let me have the money back if I should ask you for it, wouldn't you? Cook. That's right. FrrziiEW. Well, then, let me have it. (Bus. takes money) Yes, that's right. {Comes down c. counting money) Clementina. Then he is not the Cook. FiTZHEW. (Up to screen — Cook) No, he's the Sheriff. (Gleefully) Clementina. Mr. Majors, my husband, to save you from public disgrace, has incurred my sus- picions. Thank Heaven they were not justified. (Kisses FiTZHEW on left cheek) FiTZHEW. (Smiles on Majors) Other side, Clemmy. Clementine. (Kisses him on other cheek. Turning to Majors) You repaid his generosity by basely using his name. FiTZHEW. Coward ! Clementina. (Meaningly) There will be only iwenty-nine covers at the dinner this evening. (Exit Clementina r. i e.) FiTZHEW. Twenty-eight — she don't know Fm going yet. Majors. So Fm the convict now, am I ? Cook. That's right! (Laughs. Goes up-stage, behind screen) Majors. Shut up! (Goes to Fitzhew) Fitz, you'll never know the extent of my friendship for you. I am willing to make some sacrifices but damned if Fll go to jail. (Crosses r.) Fitzhew. I don't blame you, Majors, I won't either. (Bus. takes pitcher, starts to exit l., comes back and gets hat) Majors. Where are you going? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 29 FiTZHEW. I'll go to the District Attorney's office — I'll go to his house — I'll go to court, if necessary — but I will not go to jail! Majors. But hadn't I better go FiTZHEW. No, no, you do nothing. This time I'll go alone — with Cook. Come on, Cook. {Exit FiTZHEW and Cook l. 3) Majors. Stay here — and no dinner — why, I haven't had any lunch. Confound it, I haven't had breakfast. (Crosses c. Enter Miranda from c. d. L. with card) Hello, Miranda, what have you there ? Miranda. A card for Mr. Fitzhew. Majors. He has just stepped out ; I'll take it. (Takes card; reads) Edward Farrar, Attorney-at- law. Send him here. (Exit Miranda c. d. l. look- ing at card) I'll act for Fitz. I'll give this young fellow all the encouragement necessary to obtain his influence with his uncle, the District Attorney. Let me see. (Crosses c.) (Enter Edward Farrar c. l. A smart young man, assuming an air of diffidence and simplicity, comes down l. c. zvith eyes cast down.) Farrar. (Very politely) My uncle, the Dis- trict Attorney, Mr. Fitzhew — (Looks up) I beg your pardon. Why, it's Mr. Majors! Majors. (Crosses to him) Hello, Farrar, do you know Mr. Fitzhew? Farrar. I have only met him once. I was present at his examination in Court. Majors. Hush! (Pushes Fa-rrar on sofa) My dear boy, sit down. Above all be quiet and say nothing about court. Farrar. I saw at once that he was one of the boys, I mean one of the unfortunate boys — who had been led astray by a villainous companion. ■^^ ^ZO THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Majors. (Aside) I wonder if there's anythii^ personal in that? Farrar, I recognize in him the relative of Miss Sallie Graice. I am very fond of her; is there a chance for me? Majors. (Aside) He must know nothing of Daunton. (Aloud) Certainly, my boy. Farrar. (Eagerly) If I could see Fitzhew. Majors. This is hardly a good time. Farrar. True — he goes to jail. Majors. H-u-s-h ! Don't say " jail " so loud ! We know he goes to jail all right. I need not tell you that his wife knows nothing of this. Farrar. Hum ! (Rises) Of course, I wouldn't put a price on my silence, but I do hope Mr. Fitzhew will appreciate my discretion? Majors. You may be sure he will. You want us to say something nice about you to Sallie. Farrar. Yes. Majors. To be sure we will. Farrar. With that assurance, I will go at once to see my uncle, the District Attorney. Very happy to see you again, Mr. Majors. (Bus. shaking hands) Majors. The same to you, Mr. Farrar. (Crosses l.) (Enter Miranda c. d. l.) * Miranda. Mr. Daunton ! (Enter Daunton c. d. l.) Majors. (Introducing them) Mr. Farrar — Mr. Daunton — Mr. Daunton — Mr. Farrar. Daunton and Farrar. (Aside) He's after Sallie. (Bus. shaking hands) I am pleased to THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 31 meet you, sir. {Bus. Farrar starts upstage — hears Sallie's voice, stops) Sallie. (Off-stage) Very well, Clementina, I'll attend to it. {Enters l. 3 e.) Majors. Here's Sallie, I must get Farrar out of here quick. Miss Sallie, you have met Mr. Farrar of course? Sallie. Oh, yes, how do you do? Farrar. Nicely, thank you. And you, are you as well as you look? Sallie. Much better, I think. {Laughing) Won't you be seated? {Bus. of Daunton over r. Sallie r. c. Farrar at sofa c. Majors l.) Farrar. Well, yes. (About to sit. Bus. of Majors preventing him apart zvhile Sallie turns to Daunton) Majors. You would like to but you must attend to that business. Farrar. (After bus. of annoyance, to Sallie) That is, I should like to, but some urgent legal busi- ness compels my departure. Believe me, the law is ever a rigid taskmaster. To-day I find it doubly so. Majors. I find it the same way. (Apart, pull- ing Farrar's coat-tails) Farrar. (Ignoring Majors — to Sallie) Did I understand that there is to be a party here this evening ? Sallie. Why, yes, didn't you know? For the public announcement of (Majors makes violent signs behind Farrar's back to hush.) Majors. Euchre club meets to-night ! Sorry you can't join us ! (Bus. of getting Farrar up- stage) 32 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Farrar. (Resisting) Oh, but I can ! Majors. (To Farrar) Will you go and see that Uncle of yours? (Majors c. Enter Clementina r. 3 e.) Clementina. (Effusively) Mr. Farrar — at last ! Tell me all. Farrar. Madam, I Clementina. (Suddenly realising) Not here, come. (Drags Farrar off-stage r. 3 e. Majors staggers back out of the way) Majors. (Aside, despairingly) Til give it up. I can't fix it. I'll go home. (Exit l. 3 E.) Daunton. Your brother-in-law sent for me, said it was important. I'll be back. It won't do for us to be seen too much together before the formal announcement — you'll see me to the door? Sallie. Certainly. (Exit Daunton and Sallie l. 3 e. Enter Farrar and Clementina r. i e.) Farrar. I'll do all in my power for you, Mrs. Fitzhew. Clementina. I hope you will, for you see the position I am placed in. Farrar. I can't tell you how much I love your sister. Clementika. Don't try — tell her. Farrar. You will speak for me? Clementina. Certainly. Farrar. Thank you. (Bus. getting hat from rack) Clementina. (Aside) I must find some way to break off Sallie's engagement to Daunton. (Exit R. I e.) Farrar. With the assistance of Mrs. Fitzhew, THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 33 I think I'm a winner. (Starts to exit c. d., ineets Schmidt. Enter Schmidt c. d.) Schmidt. {Bus. grabs Farrar — looks at him) No, you are not puddin' face. Farrar. I should say not. {Exit c. d. l.) Schmidt. Now for my revenge. I haf a war- rant sworn out for dat Benjamin Fitzhew — der loafer dat assaulted me. I want mit der satisfac- tion of my own eyes, to see dat puddin' face vind- bag dragged from der house out. {Enter Clementina r. i e.) Clementina. You here again ^ O'MuLLiNS. {Outside) It's all right ; I'll make the arrist mesilf. Schmidt. {Exultantly) Der police! {Crosses up c.) Clementina. Police! For me Schmidt. I'll watch them drag him out. (Enter O'Mullins c. from l. Officer grabs Schmidt, bringing him down-stage.) O'Mullins. You are my prisoner, Mr. Benjamin Fitzhezv. Schmidt. But I am not Fitzhew! O'Mullins. Av coorse not. Schmidt. Dis is an outrage! Clementina. What's he charged with? O'Mullins. Mr. Fit-hew is charged with as. sault. Clementina. By whom? O'Mullins, The warr^.nt is sworn out by Von Bulow Schmidt. Clemhn .. (Aside) He would have my husl -nd arrc :ed! (To Officer) Officer, take Mr. Fitzhew away! 34 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. (Schmidt is dragged off making much resistance by O'MuLLiNS — Exit c. to l. Exit Clem- entina R, I E. Enter Majors, crosses l. c. FiTZHEW R. c, and Cook l. 3 e.) FiTZHEW. Now, Majors, this young Farrar must be with his uncle by this time, but if he learns of Sallie's engagement to Daunton he'll have his Uncle send me up for life sure. I must stave it off some- how. (Cook at doorway smoking cigar) Come in, come in. Look at what he's smoking now. How would you like to have that following you around all day? Take that hat off and step behind the screen. Stop doing that cake walk. I don't want to frighten any more of my guests. Now where is that hod-carrying architect friend of yours? That fellow who is causing all this trouble? If I could only see him now, I'd tell him. (Enter Miranda c. from l.) Miranda. Mr. Daunton is in the vestibule. FiTZHEW. Mr. Daunton. Miranda. Yes, sir. FiTZHEW. (Bus. going to door looking out. To Majors) Yes, he's out there — you tell him that I am not at home. Majors. No, no. tell him to wait. FiTZHEW. (To Miranda) Yes, tell him to wait. (Exit Miranda c. to l. To Majors) Now, what will I tell him when he does come in? Majors. Tell him — gently, but firmlv, that his engagement with your sister-in-law Sallie, must be broken off. FiTZHEW. Break off his engagement? Majors. Yep. FizHEW. Well, I'll have to give him some ex- cuse, you know. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 35 Majors. Well, you know he's an architect, don't you? FiTZHEw. Yes. Majors. Just tell him you heard he was mixed up in building a lot of saloons, and you don't like the idea. FiTZHEW. I couldn't tell him that without laughing. Majors. And why not? FiTZHEW. Why, it was in a saloon that I promised him Sallie's hand. Majors. Brilliant, but can't you see that your only hope is to keep solid with Farrar? FiTZHEW. And can't you see that this reception is '"iven to-night to announce Daunton's engage- ment to Sallie? It is an awful thing to break a man's engagement off for nothing. (Crosses r. c.) Majors. I know, but do you want to go to jail ? FiTZHEW. No, do you? (Rings bell on table) Majors. No. FiTZHEW. Do you know anyone who does? Majors. No. (Enter Miranda c. d. l., stands in d. c.) FiTZHEW. Show Mr. Daunton in, Miranda. (Exit Miranda c. d. l.) Now, you'll help me out of this. (Crosses to Majors) Majors. Oh, I'll stand by you. Daunton. (Outside) Oh, very well, I'll find him. (Enter Daunton l. To Fitzhew) I un- derstand that you want to see me. (r. c.) Fitzhew. (c.) Yes. Daunton. Well, what is it? Majors. We find that — (Crosses to c.) Daunton. Well ! Majors. I guess I'll leave. (Majors exits l. 3 E.) Fitzhew. (Aside) He generally does when 36 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. trouble begins. (Fitzhew and Daunton look at each at tier. Fitzhew, trying to appear at ease, quails before Daunton's attitude) Ah, Richard, you're on time. Daunton. Yes, to-night we publish the an- nouncement of our engagement. Fitzhew. Yes, I believe there zvas some talk of it. Daunton. IVasf What do you mean? Fitzhew. Well, I have been thinking this mat- ter over, and I am very sorry to be compelled to tell you that Fm afraid the engagement must be broken oil. I don't think there c? i be any mar- riage. Daunton. Not be any marriage? Why? Fitzhew. Of course you know you're an architect. Daunton. Yes. Fitzhew. There you are. You can't fool me; I heard all about it. I also heard that you have a peculiar class of customers, hotel men, saloon keepers and so forth. Daunton. Yes, I am aware that I owe them a great deal. Fitzhew. So do I. Daunton. What ? Fitzhew. That is, you are not the only one that owes the saloon men a great deal, Richard. Daunton. But it was in a saloon that you promised — (Crosses to Fitzhew l. c.) Fitzhew. (Crosses to table c.) I know all about that, but I have stopped drinking since tliat night, and I have come to the conclusion that it would hardly be the right thing to marry a sweet innocent girl like my sister-in-law to a man who builds saloons. (Bus. drinking liquor) Daunton. You knew what my profession was before Fitzhew. Yes, I knew what your profession THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 37 was, but I was ignorant of your specialty. Don't you see — won't you please try and see Daunton. Is my profession your only objec- tion? FiTZHEW. Why, certainly. Daunton. Very well then, I'll give up my pro- fession. FiTZHEW. All right. Majors. (From door l. 3 e.) No, no, no. FiTZHEW. (To c.) No, no, that wouldn't do any good. That wouW be worse than the other. That would be giving Sallie to a man without any saloon — I mean — profession — at all. Daunton. Yes, but FiTZHEW. Now I don't want you to worry about this thing; I'll relieve you of all responsibility. I'll make it very easy for you ; I'll get Majors to fix it. Daunton. But I don't want Majors to fix it for me. (Enter Clementina r. i e., and comes down r. c.) Clementina. What's the matter? Daunton. Mrs. Fitzhew, your husband wants to break off my engagement with your sister. / Clementina. (Aside) Good. FiTZHEW. I have just learned that Mr. Daunton is the favorite architect of the saloon men in New York. Clementina. (Shocked) Oh ! ! FiTZHEW. He designs those gilded palaces of sin, from whence so many wrecks of humanity go forth — isn't that enough f Clementina. Enough! I should say it was. This is horrible, Mr. Daunton. (Crosses between FiTZHEW and Daunton) Daunton. Had I known FiTZHEW. (To Clementina) Perhaps you think I am too scrupulous ? - ^ 38 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Clementina. Not at all, my dear. Think of that sweet girl as the wife of one who is constantly thrown in contact with such people. FiTZHEW. Oh ! And make plans for them. See the wives of these landlords ; go up and down stair- ways with them — stairs without bannisters, per- haps — in cases of that kind he must put his arm around their waists to support them from falling. Daunton. No, Mr. Fitzhew, you are mistaken. FiTZHEW. Then you let them fall — that's twice as bad. Clementina. It would never do, Mr. Daunton. Imagine meeting those people with Sallie on your arm — and be obliged to bow to them ! And they might drag my husband in one of their saloons. Fitzhew. (Aside) No; I've tried them all — they won't. (Crosses r.) Daunton. I have offered to renounce Fitzhew. We would not accept such a sacrifice. Daunton. Then I have nothing more to say. (Sits on sofa l.) Clementina and Fitzhew. Good ! (Enter Sallie l. c. e. She comes down c, looks from one to the other, sees their embarrass- ment.) ,> Sallie. Ah. here you are! Why, what's the matter ? Clementina. My dear Sallie, your engagement must be broken off. Sallie. Why ? Daunton. (Rises) Mr. Fitzhew is mistaken. Fitzhew. No, Mr. Daunton, I am not mistaken. Sallie, your sister fully endorses all I have said. Sallie. I knew something was going to happen. I had a presentiment of it last night — in a dream I sa\" you with a snake in each hand. Fitzhew. Saw me with snakes ! Clementina, THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 39 take her away — her eyesight is entirely too good for a young girl, Clementina. (Taking Sallie upstage to door R. 3) Come, my dear. Daunton. Believe me— (Following) FiTZHEW. (Crosses to him. Taking him aside) She does, she does — let it go at that. Clementina. It is all for the best. (Exit Sallie and Clementina r. i e.) FiTZHEw. There, you see it's all for the best. Now, you'll call and see us some times. I'll be out in thirty days. (Crosses c.) Daunton. What ? _ FiTZHEW. What I meant to say was, that pos- sibly in a month, I will be at liberty. (Hurrying him off) Daunton. Mr. Fitzhew, I will see you to- morrow. (Exits L. 3 E.) FiTZHEW. If you do, you'll have to go to jail. Well, I've got the engagement broken off. I feel sorry for Daunton. Oh. Pshaw! He'll get over that ; it's only for a little while ; Majors will have to fix the rest of it. (Starts to exit r. 2 e.) Cook. (Looking over screen) Come back. Fitzhew. Take that hat ofif. Majors, Majors. (Enter Majors l. 2 e., crosses to c.) Majors. Has Daunton gone? Fitzhew. Yes. Majors. How about the engagement? Fitzhew. The engagement is broken off all right. Majors. Good! And your wife? Did she ob- ject ? Fitzhew. No, she liked it, seemed pleased^ helped it along. I don't know why. If she hadn't | 40 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. I should have weakened and given the whole busi- ness away. I feel myself slipping now. Majors. Don't slip now, Fitz, this is no time for weakening. You have the most difficult task to do yet. FiTZHEW. What do you mean? The thirty? Majors. You must tell your wife you are going to leave town. FiTZHEW. You'll have to tell me what to say to her. I don't know. Majors. Of course you don't know, but I do. I'll fix it for you. I've been thinking this matter over for the last few minutes. See how my idea strikes you. You tell your wife you are obliged to leave town in order to avoid any explanation to your guests about the sudden breaking off of Sallie's engagement, don't you see? Fritzhew. Yes. Majors. Oh, I'll fix this thing easy. FiTZiiEW. Now, when you tell my wife, be careful — for she is very suspicious. Majors. No, no, my boy, you tell her — She's your wife. FiTZHEW. You better tell her, I'll be right be- hind the door, and if everything doesn't go right — Majors. I'd much prefer your telling her. FiTZHEW. It sounds all right. Majors. Certainly. In the meantime, I'll use my influence with the District Attorney and get you out in a few days. FiTZHEW. Make it as few as possible, will you? Majors. Oh, yes, FiTZHEW. Now, where will I tell my wife I'm going? Majors. Oh, any old place — say Mexico, FiTZHEW. Mexico ! Cook. {Looking over screen) Say, you want to gc£ a move on, I can't stay here a'l day. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 41 FiTZHEW. (I'Vithout looking, to Majors) Has he got it on ? Majors. Yes. FiTZHEw. (To Cook) Take that hat off! Majors. Now, Fitz, I've told you what to tell your wife. I think it's a good idea to try and get the District Attorney over the telephone. FiTZHEW. Do you think he'll come that way — I mean Majors. Now, don't you worry my boy ; I'll fix this all right. {Exit l. 3 e.) FiTZHEW. I'll try not to worry. (Comes down- stage. Rings bell on table. Crosses l. c. Enter Miranda c. d. l.) Miranda, tell John to pack my valise immediately ; I am going right away. Miranda. How about the reception? FiTZHEW. Reception? Didn't you hear about it. How sick I am. Look at that hand. (Bus. showing hand) The other one is just as bad. I am stricken down with a fever, and I just received a telegram about my fever, and I must see about it. You tell the guests this reception is postponed. Miranda. For how long. FiTZHEW. Thirty days. (l. c.) (Exit Miranda r. 2 e. Enter Clementina r. 3 e.) Clementina. Benjamin, everything is all right — {Crosses down r. c.) FiTZHEW. Did Sally seem to worry much? Clementina. She will soon get over her dis- appointment. FiTZHEW. I shudder to think of your sister's narrow escape from that man, Daunton, my dear. Clementina. I think you have acted wisely. (R. C.) FiTZHEW. I know so, I have already sent re- grets to our guests, (l. c.) Clementina. VVhat did you tell them.^ 42 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEw. I jumped at the first excuse that offered, told them I was very ill and had to leave town suddenly. Clementina. Clever idea! FiTZHEW. My leaving town, you mean? (Aside) I think I can fix this all right. (Aloud) There's one thing I did not think of — my telling them that will compel me to go. Clementina. Why certainly. FiTZHEW. (Aside) Why, it's a cinch. Clementina. Have you any particular place in mind? FiTZHEW. No particular place, but I was think- ing of Mexico. Clementina. Splendid ! Splendid ! FiTZHEW. I can catch that 6 o'clock boat with Cook — I mean, train. Clementina. You can make it, I'll attend to everything. (Exit Clementina r. i e.) > FiTZHEW. There's something wrong here, but I don't care. I'm going to get out of town. Oh, this is too easy. She thanks me for breaking off the engagement and blesses me for leaving town. I must be dreaming. (Enter Miranda r. 2 e. ivith valise.) Miranda. Mr. Fitzhew, here's your valise. FiTZHEW. Oh, yes, thank you, good-bye. Miranda. Good-bye, over the river. FiTZHEW. Over the river. What do you know about that. (Enter Major l. 3 e.) Majors, Majors. Well, good-bye, old man, I'm going. Majors. Where ? FiTZHEW. Over the river — to jail. My wife thinks I'm going to Mexico where you told me. You'll see me to the train. Majors ? Majors. Certainly. FiTZHEW And write to me? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 43 Majors. Where ? FiTZHEW. Number 8, Mexico. I don't care where you write. {Enter Clementina r. 3 e. with valise, boxes, etc.) Good-bye. Clementina. Well, I'm ready. FiTZHEW, You're ready. Where are you go- ing? Clementina. With you to Mexico. (Bus. FiTZHEW falls in Majors' arms and curtain. 2nd. Curtain: Cook comes down, takes hold of FiTZHEW.) FiTZHEW. Take that hat oflF! (Cook and Fitzhew exit c. D.) CURTAIN. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 45 ACT 11. Scene: — Corridor drop — hacking showing cell doors, etc. Prison scene — Interior of Warden Loveall's office. DIAGRAM. It is in regulation prison architecture hut handsomely decorated by Loveall. Tahle and two chairs c. Piano R. Sidehoard and sofa. Easels, sketches, armor, tapestries, etc., about ad lib. Large barred window c. Door in r. f. Doors in r. u. e. and l. u. e. — Also curtained arch R. 2, leading to Loveall's private apart- ment. Large electric call-board at back with small buttons — A large button and several speaking tubes. Ball and chain, prison suits, etc., about the room, desk at back with revolv- ing chair, papers, ledger, etc., in desk. A spring shade is attached to window c. DISCOVERED : — Louis, wiping glasses at side- board, takes revolver out of drawer of side- board. (Enter Googan, r. 2 e., goes to desk — Prisoners cross stage back of window. Enter Cook, d., in flat.) Googan. (c.) Hello, Mr. Cook, how are you to-day ? Cook. (r. c. Looking about room) The new Warden's spreading himself, ain't he? Googan. (Laughs derisively) Well, I should say he was. I don't think that the Commissioners will stand for him long. Cook. Well, they'd better get rid of him quick — 46 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. or they'll find all the prisoners in dress suits. This fellow is too easy-going for a warden. He ought to have charge of a Sunday school class instead of a prison. Now look at this room, Loveall is turnin' it into a dude's bood-war and art gallery insteaji of a Warden's office. (During speech Cook goes to table, and sits on table at back) GooGAN. (Comes down r. of table) Speakin' o' dudes — that dude supper raid over there at the Cleopatra was hot stuff, wasn't it? Cook. (r. c.) Did you see this in to-day's paper? (Points to article — gives paper to (Googan) They've ordered an investigation. It seems there was a mysterious, heavily-veiled woman that they're trying to get hold of as a witness. The only one that seen her face was that prisoner — he was one of the waiters at the Cleopatra, but they couldn't get anything out of him — he wouldn't open his mouth — said he couldn't remember. GooGAN. Oh, I guess he was pretty well paid for it. Cook. Oh, \ don't know — I rather think he was telling the truth. The Judges over there wouldn't have it though, so they sentenced him for contempt. See here, 89, you've been hanging around here long enough. Now you get back to work in the kitchen where you belong. Come on, get a move on you. (Exit Louis L. 3 E.) Look out for 89— he's a pretty tough customer. GooGAN. All right, sir. (Goes to desk) Cook. Googan, do you know that the ladies of the Flower Mission are over here to-day? I seen one of 'em throwing a bunch of roses to Mike the strangler and he offered to swap them to me for a chew of tobacco. (Miranda crosses back of window) Hello ; here's one of them now. (Googan starts toward door; Cook intercepts him) Excuse me! I'll do the perlite. (Opens door; exaggerated t?ow) THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 47 (Enter Miranda, d. f. Ignores Cook; goes to GOOGAN.) Miranda. Hello Jimmie! GooGAN. Hello Miranda ; you're looking prettier than ever. Miranda. (Looking about) My! what a lot of improvements ! (Starts toward bell board) What are all these bells for ? Cook. Go away from there ; you see those are the keeper's bells, there's a bell for every ward and the big one there is for a general alarm. If that bell were to ring now, we'd have the whole Island in an uproar. ]\Iiranda. Why ? Cook. Because it would be a signal of a riot, or an attempt to escape of the prisoners. Miranda. What would they do then? Cook. Fire the cannon and everyone attempting to leave the Island would be shot from the opposite shore. Miranda. Well, I wouldn't attempt to escape. Cook. I hope not. (Exit r. 3 e.) Miranda, (r. c.) Say, Mr. Cook, I left the Ladies of the Flower Mission distributing some of the flowers ; I brought these for you. They have some beautiful ones for the poor prisoners to-day. (Majors passes zvindow from l., sees Miranda and hides as she goes out.) Googan, (Up c.) What's your hurry ? Miranda. I must go, they're waiting for me but I'll be back. (Exit r. 3. Enter Majors r. f.) Majors. Warden Loveall in? Googan. Yes, sir. He's in his room — I'll call him. (Exit R. I E.) Majors. Must be the same. Same old foppv Loveall. His office is quite artistically arrangea. (Crosses l. c.) 48 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. (Enter Loveall from arch r. 2 e.) LovEALL. Ah, Majors — delighted old chap, de- lighted to see you. (Crosses c.) Majors. Hello, Will ! (Enter Googan r. 2 e., starts to exit d. in flat.) Loveall. How well you look. One minute : Googan, tell No. 90 that the lawyer he wanted will be here in half an hour. Googan. Yes, sir. (Exit d. in flat) Majors. Will, you didn't tell me that you were Warden here. Loveall. I'm not likely to be long — temporary appointment — the Commissioners offered me this — I took it until something better turns up — I manage to make myself comfortable, however, and indulge my tastes for art and music. (Pointing around) Have a drink? (Crosses to sideboard) Smoke? (Crosses to desk) — Shall I warble something? (Crosses to piano) Majors. (Bus. of declining) No, no. I made up my mind to see you ten days ago. (c.) Loveall. Ten days ago and you've just got here — that's just like you, Majors. Majors. (Up r. c.) The fact is, I've been lay- ing low — I've been mixed up in a row with a crazy Dutchman. I learned that he had applied for a warrant to arrest me and Loveall. (Laughing) Ha, ha, ha ! the sam.e old game! Who was she, Majors? (Down r. c.) Majors. She — there was no '* she " in it — I want to see you about a friend of mine whom you've got here. Loveall. Not a prisoner? Majors. Yes, John Martin. Loveall. John Martin? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 49 Majors. I promised Martin I would stand by him. {Crosses in front up to register) LovEALL. And you've only waited ten days to keep your promise. {Goes to desk) Nothing like having a friend, Majors. {Looking over book) Majors. The anticipation, no doubt, will enhance his pleasure. LovEALL. He must be just about delirious with joy by this time — {Finding name in book) Ah, John Martin, cell No. yy. {Rings and comes doivn L. c.) I remember him — came here with Cook, the Deputy — seemed a decent sort of chap. Majors. Yes, he's a nice fellow ; to tell you the truth. Will, I want to stay here in jail with Martin, till that Dutchman's affair blows over. I'll confess to you, Will, I was a little mixed up in that supper raid and it's just as well to keep out of the way — you know how it is yourself. LovEALL. {Laughing) Oh, Majors! Majors. Oh, we left the place before the raid. Don't you worry about that — the trouble was, you see I started to take Martin home — he got in a row with a taxi driver and along came this long- haired crazy Dutchman and I — well, that's another story. LovEALL. Just step in my room a moment, {Music cue) and I'll see what can be done. {Exit R. 2 E. Majors. Enter Cook and prisoners R. 3 E. They march in lockstep and stand r. c. Louis first — then Supers and Fitzhew.) Cook. Halt ! LovEALL. Cook, what gang is this? Cook. It's the gang from the first tier. LovEALL. They're a hard looking lot — how are they doing? Cook. There's charges against 89 and yy. LovEALL. .yy, stand out! 50 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. (FiTZHEW steps out of line, goes to chair r. tabU and sits.) Cook. And stand up! (FiTZHEW stands up.) LovEALL. What's the trouble with yy? Cook. For the last three days he's been com- plaining about the rules and regulations of this prison. LovEALL. yy, what's the matter? FiTziiEW. Bars all around me and I can't get a drink. Cook. He's also complaining about his clothes. LovEALL. He is, eh? What's the matter with 89? Cook. He is dissatisfied with the food. He won't eat what is given him. FiTZHEW. Give it to me, I'll eat it. Cook. Shut up! LovE.M.L. 89, stand out! (Louis stands out from line) Won't eat, hey? FiTZHEW. I wouldn't eat hay, either, don't you do it. LovEALL. Shut up! (FiTZHEW starts to sit.) Cook. And stand up! LovEALL. WTiat are you working at here ? Louis. I work in de kitchen — I — a make — a de soup. FiTZHEW. No wonder he won't eat. Did you ever taste that soup, it's awful. LovEALL. Shut up. FiTZHEW. There's no soup in it. Cook. Shut up! (Fitzhew sits) And stand up. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 51 LovEALL. He'll eat when he's hungry. Fall in. (Louis aiid Fitzhew start to fall in. To Fitzhew) Here, here, not you. Cook, yy, get that step — ^get that step — ^get that step — (Lockstep bus.) Fitzhew. I got it. LovEALL. Cook, are they all here? Fitzhew. All here — how could anybody get away ? CooK. Shut up! Fitzhew. That's a foolish question to ask. CooK. Shut up ! Fitzhew. I am shut up. Cook. Yes, sir, they're here. Loveall. Call the roll ! Cook. (As Cook calls — Prisoners repeat num- ber) 89, 51, 45, 23, yy. Fitzhew. Keno. Loveall. Cook, who is that second one there? Cook. That — that's Spike Finnigan. Loveall. What is he in for? Cook. For strangling his mother-in-law. Fitzhew. (To prisoner, and shakes hands) Good boy, Spike — I don't blame him. (Crosses to Warden) You would do the same thing yourself. (Stops lockstep) Cook. (Crosses to Fitzhew) Shut up and get that step — get that step — (Bus. gets lockstep) Fitzhew. Mr. Warden, couldn't you set a day, sav Thursday, to do it with this foot. Fm tired. (Bus. doing step zvifh r. foot) Cook. Get the other foot up there. Fitzhew. See, something like this. (Bus. zvith R. foot) Cook. Here, here, left, left, left — (Gets step) now you're right. Fitzhew. Now you see it's right — that's what I want. (Step ivith r. foot) Cook. Get that other foot up there. 52 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. (Stops step) I won't do it any more. (Bus. Cook starts for him — Fitzhew steps) Well, I won't do it when I get out of here. Cook. That will do you now. Fitzhew. (Stops again) I'm glad that will do — I've been doing that step for nine days. Cook. Get that step — ^get that step. Fitzhew. (Doing step) I'll get that way — see if I don't. LovEALL. (Crosses to l. c.) Cook, I'll take charge of yy — you take the other prisoners to dinner. Fitzhew. Come on, boys! (Starts to go) Cook. Now where are you going? Fitzhew. I'm going to dinner. Cook. Get back there and stay there. Fitzhew. I'm hungry. Cook. You stay right here — Left face. (To prisoners) Forward march ! (Music cue) Fitzhew. Louis, order for me. They're ofif in a bunch. (Prisoners exit l. 3. Bus. Cook closes door — looks at Fitzhew. Fitzhew does lockstep.) Cook. Gang from the first tier, all right. (Re- peated outside — Looks at Fitzhew — Fitzhew seated at piano) Stand up! (Fitzhew bus. Does lockstep zvith r. foot) Now what do you mean by that step with your right foot ■ Fitzhew. I'm left-handed, and the warden said I could do it with this foot. Cook. Get that other foot up there. (Bus. getting step) Now see here, Fitzhew Fitzhew. Sh — don't call me Fitzhew — call me Martin, John Martin while I am here. Cook. Very well, John Martin. Now if you don't behave yourself I'H put you in a straight- jacket and feed you on bread and water. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 53 FiTZHEW. Can you make it lithia water — the water is awful here. Cook. Shut up! (Exit d. in flat) LovEALL. Be seated! {Crosses l. c. Fitzhew sits) Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. {Sits r. of table c.) Cook. {From back of ivindow) Stand up! (Fitzhew stands) Fitzhew. Did I hear anybody say stand up? LovEALL. I say be seated, (l. c.) Fitzhew. What's the good of going up and down hke that all the time? LovEALL. Be seated. (Fitzhew sits) I am Warden here, so you are perfectly safe. Fitzhew. Oh, I know I am safe, here, all right. LovEALL. Stand up. Fitzhew. {Stands up) I knew it couldn't last long. I expected that. Loveall. So you've been complaining about your clothing — you look all right. {Bus. of look- ing at suit) FITZHEW^ Yes, I look like a zebra. Loveall. That's a good suit. Fitzhew. Well, I got it for nothing — I can't kick. Loveall. It's a very heavy piece of goods. Thick — you can't wear it out. Fitzhew. I could wear it out but they'd bring me right back with it. Loveall. By-the-bye, there's a friend of yours here, that would like to speak with you. Fitzhew. Friend of mine — who is it? {Enter Majors from arch r. i e.) Loveall. There he is! (l. c. Bus. Fitzhew cries, stamps foot a la lockstep) Shut up! Fitzhew. {To Majors) Majors, when did they get you ? 54 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Majors. Fitz, my boy, I came over to fix it for you. (r.) FiTZHEW. What, again — you fixed it before I got here. (r. c.) Majors. Now I had trouble enough to keep your wife from following you to Mexico. I told her it would look as if you were all running away on account of breaking off Miss Sallie's engage- ment. FiTZHEw. How is my wife? Majors. Oh, she's all right. FiTziiEW. Weather nice out? Majors. Oh, lovely! LovEALL. jy, you had better go to dinner. FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. !Majors. Now Fitz, I want to do all I can to help you. FiTZHEW. T know — T appreciate your kindness very much, but I'm going to dinner, before I lose that. Mr. Warden, you don't mind if I invite a friend to lunch, do you? LovEALL. Certainly not. FiTZHEW. Same old thing to-day, isn't it — bean soup ? Love ALL. T think so. FiTZTTEW. Well, I know so — it hasn't been changed since I've been here. Will you have some lunch, Majors? Majors. No, thank you, I've had mine. FiTZHEW. Did you have yours? Majors. Aha ! FiTZHEW. What did you have? Majors. Oh. I had a small bottle — (Music cue) porterhouse steak — small bird, salad, asparagus — demi tasse — (Bus. Fitzhew exits l. 3 e., crying) Well, this prison life doesn't seem to agree with my friend Martin! It was all on account of a little racket with Paquita — ^by the way, you know Paquita ? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 55 LovEALL. Oh, yes. I understand she is going to marry Judge Mason. Lovely girl, Paquita. I called there last week — I happened to pick up a photo- graph case that was on the table — a dream, my boy,, a dream. They wouldn't give her name or address. Paquita laughed, said she was a friend of hers. I tried in vain to find out anything definite — so to console myself I borrowed the pliotograph to sketch that classic head. {Takes crayon from easel — goes to Majors) Prepare for" ecstasy! Isn't it perfect? Just look at those eyes, that neck! Just look at the slope of that neck^ Majors. Majors. {Crosses l. c.) Mrs. Fitzhew. (Starts up) LovKALL. What's the matter — do you know her? (Crosses to Majors l. c.) Oh, tell me that you know her. Majors! Majors. She's a relative of one of your prisoners. LovEALL. What! of Martin's. Her name, Majors, her name! Majors. She may be Mrs. Martin for all you know. Love all. She may be, but she isn't. {Places era von on piano) Majors. (Aside) I'll have to fix this thing. (Aloud. Crosses c.) Now see here. Will, I want to remain here with John Martin until the affair with this crazv Dutchman blows over. LovEALL. Impossible, my boy — I would be liable to lose mv position, (r. c.) Majors. You'll be fired some day anyway. LovEALL. Is that so? Well, I wouldn't be a bit surprised, but I'm in no hurry — just step into my room here, Majors, until I slip into my uniform. (GooGAN and Daunton crosses windozv at hack. Majors exits arch r. 2 e. Enter Googan d. in flat.) 56 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. GooGAN. A gentleman with an order to see you, sir. LovEALL. (Crosses l. c.) Very well, show him in. (Enter Daunton.) Daunton. Warden Loveall? LovEALL. That's my name, sir. Be seated. Daunton. Thank you. (Sits r. of table C. Loveall l. of table c.) (They sit. Majors enters r. 2 e.) Majors. Say, Will — (Aside) Hello — Daunton here. I must let Fitzhew know what he has to say. (Crosses to door l. 3 e. Bus. listening at door) .Daunton. My name is Daunton, Richard Daunton, Architect. Now you will pardon me if what I have to tell you is of purely a personal nature, but I am in love. Loveall. In love? You interest me, go on. Daunton. But for some unknown reason my engagement has very suddenly been broken off. I bowed my neck beneath the stroke of fat^ only to rise again, determined to probe the matter to the bottom. Loveall. And you probed? Daunton. I did. IVIy future brother-in-law gave it out that he was going to Mexico, but 1 have since learned that that very day he was arrested and that he is here now. Loveall. Here? (Rises) What name did you say .'' Daunton, Benjamin Fitzhew. Loveall. Fitzhew — seems to me I have heard that name here. (Bus. at ledger) Oh, yes, here it is. Benjamin Fitzhew, cell No. 90. Yes, sir, we have got him here. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 57 Daunton. Is it possible for me to see him? LovEALL. Certainly, my boy. {Rings bell on board) Anything to oblige you. (Enter Googan R. F.) Googan — bring — No. 90 — here — at — once. (Exit Googan r. f.) I will leave you to receive him, while I slip into my uniform. You'll excuse me, won't you? {Exit arch r. 2 e. Enter Majors L. u. E.) Daunton. Now, I'll compel Mr. Fitzhew to ex- plain. {Rises, crosses r.) Majors. Unhappy young man, you don't know what you have clone. {Crosses down l. c.) Daunton. Ah, but I know what I am about to do. Majors. I beg of you to let me see this prisoner first. (Enter Googan and Schmidt d. in flat.) Googan. No. 90. (Exit d. in flat) Majors, (l. c.) Now, Fitz {Bus. Daunton going up to Schmidt.) Daunton. (r.) Who the deuce can he be ? Majors. (Aside) If it ain't that damned Dutchman with Fitzhew's name Schmidt. I haf for a lawyer sent. It is you? (R. C.) Majors. (Crosses r. c. to Schmidt) Hovr dare you use my friend's name? Schmidt. I want nothing mit you, puddin' face Trind bag. I want nothing mit you until I am front* dis place out. Now, Mr. Lawyer. Daunton. You are mistaken, I am not a lawyer. You're not the man I want to see. Majors. The less you say the better. Schmidt. I vill say what I like. (Crosses to L.) Daunton. I tell you I demand an erplanation. 58 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. ^Tajors. He can't explain — he don't know any- thing — he's crazy ! Schmidt. I'll make you crazy when I get from dis place out. (Enter Love all arcJi r. 2 e.) Majors. If you know what is best for your- self Daunton. (Crosses l.) Excuse me, I know my business. Schmidt. Yes, he knows his business. Majors. But you don't know yours, do you? Schmidt. No. Yes I do know my — business. _ LovEALL. Here, here, here, what do you take this for. a lunatic asylum? Majors. One moment. Will "| Daunton. Now, :Mr. Warden — y (Together)] Schmidt. I will explain. J Loveall. One at a time, one at a time, one at a time. (Pointing finger to Schmidt) Schmidt. Ah, Gott, what is de use? Loveall. Mr. Majors, you were here first. Mr. Daunton will retire if you wish an interview with the prisoner. Daunton. I'll sift this matter to the bottom. (Exits l. 3 E.) Loveall. Now, Mr. Majors, you may see the prisoner. Schmidt. T want nothing mit dat man! I vill leaf the jail first. (Crosses up d. f.) Loveall. No, you don't. (Bus. Loveall stop- ping Schmidt) Majors. Will, if you are a friend of mine, don't let Daunton have an interview with this prisoner. He's crazy. Loveall. Leave that to me. (Rings bell on board. To Schmidt) Mr. Fitzhew. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 59 ScH^MiDT. I am not Fitzhew. (At Majors) That is Fitzhew. (Enter Googan r. f.) Majors. What did I tell you, he's as crazy as a June bug! LovEALL. (To Googan) Cook, put No. 90 in a padded cell till that lawyer comes. Schmidt. You haf done dis ! Puddin' face vind bag! (Googan drags Schmidt upstage) Don't push me. I haf as mooch right in dis jail as you. (Bus. Googan grabs Schmidt and throws him off R. c.) LovEALL. Excuse me. Majors; that fellow will bear looking after. (Exits r. 3 e.) (Clementina crosses at hack window.) Majors. Mrs. Fitzhew ! (Exits arch r. 2 e. Enter Googan r. 3 e.) Cook. Well, I fixed number 90 all right. (Enter Clementina d. in flat.) Clementina. I beg pardon. Googan. Who do you wish to see? Clementina. 1 am looking for my maid, Miranda — I am here with the Ladies of the Flower Mission. Googan. I'll see if I can find her. Ah, there. (Exits D. in flat) Clementina. How lonesome these poor pris- oners must be separated from wives and children, and what a narrow escape I had. If that waiter had ever recognized me, I might have been here my- self, (r. of table c. Enter Daunton l. 3 e. Tur^i,^ sees Daunton) Mr. Daunton. 6o THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Daunton. Mrs. Fitzhew, oh, I see! You are here with the Ladies of the Flower Mission. Clementina. And you? Daunton. Do you think that I could stand calmly by and see my engagement to your sister broken off without learning the true cause of my dismissal? Clementina. What do you mean? Daunton. I know all. I know now the cause of your agitation. Clementina. You know that the police Daunton. I tell you I have seen the man. Clementina. (Aside) The waiter! Daunton. You were in the room when the police arrived. Clementina. (Aside) The Cleopatra. Daunton. I was about to learn everything when I was interrupted. Clementina. By whom? Daunton. The warden ! They threw the Ger- man in a padded cell. (Exit d. in flat) Clementina. He means Von Bulovv Schmidt. Then he hasn't seen the waiter. I must find the girls at once. (Exit d. f. Majors enters r. 2) Majors. I must steer them clear of Fitzhew's cell at all hazards. (Exits d. f. Enter Loveall R. 3 E.) Loveall. I wonder where Majors has gone. (Goes to windozv) Ah, the sly old fox — He's caught sight of the petticoats and a team of oxen wouldn't hold him! (Enter Cook l. 3 e.) Cook, bring yy here at once. Cook. Yes, sir. (Exit Cook l. 3 e.) Loveall. (Takes photo case out of pocket) Relative of yy, eh? I wonder who the other one is. (Music cue. Enter Cook and Fitzhew. Bits, FiTZHEW does lockstep.) THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 6i Cook. Here, here, raise that foot higher. FiTZHEW. What do you think I am — a ballet dancer ? Cook. Shut up. FiTZHEW. Take that hat off. {Bus. takes hat off and exit Cook l. 3 e.) LovEALL. Be seated. FiTZHEW. No, I'd just as soon stand up. LovEALL. It's all right. Be seated. (Fitzhew sits on chair l. Loveall r. of table) Mr. Martin? Mr. Martin? Well, isn't your name Martin? Fitzhew. No, yes — John Martin. I thought you said mutton. Loveall. I saw at once when you came here that I was dealing with a gentleman. Fitzhew. (Stands up) Thank you, sir. (Stts. Foot bus. Stamps foot twice) Loveall. By the way, what are you working at here? Fitzhew. Shovelling coal. Loveall. That makes your hands hard? Fitzhew. No, it's soft coal. Loveall. Your crime was undoubtedly the re- sult of a sudden impulse. You are married? Fitzhew. Yes, sir, thank you, sir. {Bus. stamps foot) . Loveall. That is a recommendation to my benevolence. I wish I were able to shorten your imprisonment. Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. {Aside) Majors has found somebody with a pull. Loveall. However, during your stay here, this room is at your service. Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. Loveall. It is my studio and office — or at least will be when these confounded mechanics get through here. Now if you desire to see any mem- ber of your family 6£ THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. (Rising) I don't wish to see any of them — not one of them. Th:y think I am on a little trip to Mexico. (Sits) LovEALL. To Mexico — Yes, but won't they ex- pect to hear from you? (Rolling newspaper) FiTZHEW. That's so. I never thought of that. I promised them a letter and my wife is full of LovEALL, Full of what? FiTZHEW. Romance! What did you think she was full of? Prunes? LovEALL. She will want to know all about it. (Rises, crosses to l. c.) FiTZHEW. But how am I to write from Mexico from here? LovEALL. (Very confiding) Let me see — con- fide your letter -to a friend who has just returned from Mexico. FiTZHEW. Let him take it? LovEALL. Yes. (Slaps Fitzhew ivith paper on back) Fitzhew. That's an excellent idea, but who — ? LovEALL. (Patronizing) I'll take it. (Bus. — paper) Fitzhew. Thank you, sir. LovEALL. I'll present myself to the ladies, who have never seen me, as an old friend of yours. We met in Mexico. (Slaps Fitzhew on back with newspaper and goes to desk up l.) Fitzhew. (Bus. throws paper under table c.) Somebody has given him a pretty stiff recommenda- tion. LovEALL. (Comes down, sp^raking at the same time) I'll tell her that I have just returned from my vacation, the simplest thing in the world. (Slaps Fitzhew. Bus. Fitzhew gets paper. Gives it to Loveall. Fivzhew rises — Loveall goes L. to sideboard) By the way, have you had your dinner? THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 63 FiTZHEW. (Rises, crosses to r.) Yes, I found another bean in my soup to-day. LovEALL. (Laughs) Will you have a drink? FiTZHEW. Eh ! LovEALL. I said will you have a drink? FiTZHEW. I know — I heard you the first time. (r. of table c.) (Bus. LovEALL with decanter and tzvo glasses, crosses c. and up to Fitzhew. Offers him de- canter. FiTZHEW holds up tin cup.) Loveall. What is that? FiTZHEW. That's my loving cup. Loveall. Put it down. Take a glass. (FiTZHEW puts cup and bread on table.) FiTZHEW. Fm going to keep my -eye on that — do you know I think you have thieves ♦in this place. (Loveall gives decanter to Fitzhew, remarking.) Loveall. I shouldn't be surprised — help -your- self. (Loveall goes up to sideboard, examines box of cigars, then brings them to table c. Fitzhew coughs, hands decanter to Loveall, Loveall takes decanter, looks at it, remarks to Fitzhew) Great stuff! Fitzhew. That's what b jught me over here. (Bus. gives decanter to Lov:; .^x.) Thank you, sir. (Coughs) It's dusty in h:re. Loveall. I'm afraid /di: g..e n :t feeling well. Fitzhew. I'll fed spieiicM in a minute. (Loveall pour\ out drink, goes l.) Loveall. Well, here's to your good health and that we may meet frequentlv. 64 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. No! No! I'm choking but I'll not drink to that toast. {Puts glass on table — Bus. walks away) LovEALL. No, no, not in here. On the outside, of course. FiTZHEW. Oh! (Picks up glass. Both drink. As FiTZHEW drinks half the contents of his glass, LovEALL remarks) LovEALL. Here you go. FiTZHEW. Here I go? Here I stay. (LovEALL walks to table c, takes up decanter as if to take away, remarking.) LovEALL. How do you like it? FiTZHEW. Splendid! You're not going to take it away, are you ? LovEALL. Oh, no ! FiTZHEW. Say, let's drink it all and make Cook mad. LovEALL. Now have a nice cigar. FiTZHEW. No, have this on me. I've been your guest long enough — have this on me. LovEALL. No, I insist, this is on me. FiTZHEW. Well, if you insist — {Takes one, bites end of cigar, and puts in pocket. Loveall lights his cigar first, then hands his match-box to FiTZHEW ) Loveall. Pardon me. FiTZHEW. I wish you would pardon me. How long have you been here ? Loveall. Oh, about nine months. FiTZHEW. That beats me. I've been here nine days, seems like nine years to me. {Puts match- box in his pocket) Loveall. Don't you know we have prisoners here — {Business. Touching Fitzhew on his shoulder) My match-box, please. FiTZHEW. I beg pardon. {Stamps foot. THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 65 Takes :natch-hox from his pocket, polishes it on coat. Bus. hands match-box tc Loveall) LovEALL. How do you like my rooms ? FiTziTEw. This one is all right. You didn't see the one they gave me, did you? Loveall. {Looking back out at cell and rc' marking) Oh, yes, yy"^ FiTZHEW. (Points back) Yes, there it is— ^ that hole in the wall. Loveall. Yes, the first tier. FiTZHEW. Was I ? Loveall. Were you what? FiTZHEW. You said first here, didn't you? Loveall. No, no, no — the first tier. FiTZHEW. Oh, I thought you said I was the first here. By the way, speaking of rooms, I wish you would throw a little more hay in my -stall. Loveall. That room is rather small, never mind, we'll give you a better one the next, time you come. FiTZHEW. The same rate? Loveall. (Puffing at cigar and blowing it in FiTZHEw's face) How do you like that cigar? FiTZHEW. Very good. LovE.'VLL. Good! I should say so — eighteen cents a piece. (Walks back to desk and turns on FiTZHEws' follozving speech) FiTziiEv/. I thought they were made here. I think you got the eighteen cent one, Loveall. Well, I like that! FiTZiiEw. Well, yot might like that, but you ought to try this — this is awful. Loveall. We had better get at that letter, eh? (Goes to desk, gets writing materials, etc., places it on table) FiTZKEW. Just as you say. Loveall. Be seated. There. You will find pen, ink and paper. (Crosses to piano r. Fitzhew sits R. of table) 56 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. You haven't a pencil, have you? LovEALL. What's the matter? Don't you like the pen? FiTZHEW. No — I do not like the pen as far as I have gone. (Pickiug up pen) Oh, this I (LovEALL gives pencil to Fitzhew) Mr. Warden, have you got the fellow here that sold you these cigars? (Loveall goes to piano and plays very softly, some pathetic ballad, until cue from FiTZHEW to stop. FiTZHEVsr bus. at table, cleans eye-glasses, etc. Fitzhew bus. crying) Do you know any other gavotte than that one, Mr. Warden ? LovEALL. I beg your pardon. (Rises — sighs) Ah. these poor devils. FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (IVriies) City of Mexico — (Piano bus. Loveall rests his arm on keyboard of piano) Why don't you sit over here — it's softer on the sofa. (Loveall crosses back of piano, starts to examine unfinished crayon. FiTZHEW zvriting) City of Mexico, June yy — (Bus. of erasing the yy) June 17th. Dearest Clementina. I am at the Hotel Jardin, I have just met my dear friend — "(Speaks to Loveall) What is your name, please? (By this time Loveall is seated at piano stool, and turns on re- mark, " What is your na^ncf") Loveall. Loveall ! FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (Writes again) My dearest friend — Warden Loveall. Loveall. No — no — no — no — Great Scott ! Not warden — no, no FiTZHEW. I know, I'm rubbing it out. (Bus. zvith paper. Erasing same) Loveall. Put down artist and musician. FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. Artist in Mexico, just the thing. Loveall. Have another drink. (Loveall sits THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 67 at piano. Starts on unfinished crayon, at same time looks at photo case) FiTZHEW. Thank you, sir. (Pours drink in tin cup, pours liquid on bread and sits. Writes again. Writing) My dear friend, Loveall, will deliver the message 1 am unable to write. Now for a description of Mexico. (Loveall looking at photo case.) Loveall. And to think I am going to see her and with such a recommendation. (Sighs) Those eyes — that neck ! FiTZHEW. You don't want me to write that, do you? Loveall. No, no, pardon me. (Places crayon on piano) I was just talking to myself. (Enter Edward Farrar d. in flat.) Farrar. How do you do, Loveall? Where's the prisoner that wanted to see a lawyer ? Loveall. You mean No. 90? Farrar. Yes, Fitzhew. Loveall. He is in a padded cell. Come back in about ten minutes. Farrar. But the case is very urgent. Loveall. Permit me to be the judge of that. Farrar. May I see him in ten minutes? Loveall. Yes. Everything will be ready for you by that time. Farrar. All right. (Exit r. 3 e. Loveall dozvn r. of Fitzhew) Fitzhew. See what you think of this ? (Reads) " What a City is Mexico is it ? (Bus. erasing " is it") "What a City is Mexico — the houses, with streets, and sidewalks, et cetera, et cetera. I put the et cetera — et cetera in because they will stand for anything. 68 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. LovEALL. That's a good idea. FiTZHEW. The trees — with roots — and leaves— et cetera — et cetera LovEALL. But you put the et cetera in before. FiTZHEW. Well, you see that takes up a line — I must fill this up with something. I know nothing whatever of Mexico. LovEALL. She'll think you're sunstruck. FiTZHEW. I can't help what she thinks. I'll have to say something in this letter. We have just returned from a bull fight — my bull ran second. Where else did we go? LovEALL. Tell her. (Thinking) We went for a row on the river. FiTZHEW. Good! (Writing) "Went for a row on 'the river ; the water was wet " LovEALL. Then you might say we were lulled to sleep by the sweet singing of the dark-eyed senoritas. (Very pathetic) FiTZHEW. Do you want my wife to go down there? If I write that she'll think the senoritas were in the same boat with us. I'll not refer to any senoritas, this is to my wife — we'll make this a stag party. Where did we go at night? LovEALL. (Meditating) We went to the opera and heard — Patti. FiTZHEW. Good! Wliite or black? LovEALL. White, of course. FiTZHEW. What did she sing? LovEALL. (Very pathetic) "Home, sweet home." FiTZHEW. Heard Patti sing " Home sweet Home." LovEALL. Well, what are you writing now? FiTZHEW. (Bus. writing) A little poetry to my wife. (Reads) " How lonely am I, Clemmie dear, when I sit down to sup. Oh, how I long to be at home and hear you say " THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 69 Cook. {Back of window) Stand up! (FiTZHEW rises, crosses to l. c.) (Enter Farrar r. 3 e.) Farrar. Loveall — may I see that prisoner now? LovEALL. You may see him in a few moments — be seated. Farrar. (Sits on sofa r. of table) This is yy? FiTZHEW. What's your number? Loveall. (Whistle heard. Goes to bell board) Oh. he won't, eh? Put no in a dark cell. FiTZHEW. no in the shade up there. Loveall. Very well, then put him in a straight jacket. Farrar. Why do they put prisoners in straight jacket'? FiTZHEW. Because they're crooked, I guess. I don't know anv other reason. Loveall. That's the worst prisoner we have. I don't know what to do to punish him. (Back of table c.) FiTZHEW. Why don't you give him one of these cigars? (Rises— gires Loveall letter) Loveall. (Reads) "408 Gramercy Park." FiTZHEW. Yes. that's where I live. Loveall. (Reading down c.) Mrs. Benjamin Fitzhe^^ — you don't mean to tell me that lady is your wife. John Martin ? FiTZHEW. John :Martin ? I'm Benjamin Fitzhew. Loveall. Oh, come now, we've got Fitzhew here. Fitzhew. Of course vou have and you're gomg to keen him here. That's a gliastly joke. (Goes tozvard Farrar l. c.) Farrar. How are you, ^Mr. Fitzhew? (Cross- ing R.) Fitzhew. I'm John Mprtin Loveall. (Aside) He's been flirting with 70 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. Fitzhew's wife. {To Fitzhevv) It's all right — I won't give you away. {Crossing to Fitzhew) Fitzhevv. All right. LovEALL. He might cause trouble, eh? Fitzhew. Who ? LovEALL. Her husband. Fitzhew. Whose husband? LovEALL. Mrs. Fitzhew's husband. Fitzhew. Why, don't you understand that I'm Mrs. Fitzhew's husband? LovEALL. There — if she's as beautiful as my ideal I don't blame you. Fitzhew. I hope I may never come back to this place if I'm not her husband. LovEALL. It's all right, I won't give you away. {Exits D. in flat. Crosses back of ivindow) Fitzhew. {Crosses to c.) 1 hope not — {Bus. opening cigar-box) Have a cigar. Help yourself, they're not mine. {Bus. Fakrar takes cigar) Have another. Take some home to your friends. Farrar. {Sits) Quite a comfortable place you have here. Fitzhew. Oh, tolerable. It will be more so when these confounded mechanics get through. I'm going to change it all around. I'm going to get a larger sideboard and more stock, and I'm going to get a new cook. {Bus. looking around. Sits) Now you would naturally think to see me in this rig that I was a prisoner here, wouldn't you ? Farrar. Yes. Fitzhew. Everybody thinks the same. It fools everybody. It's a little joke on my wife — and on me. {Noise heard at d. r. 3) Hear that — some- body trying to break in here. How do you like that cigar ? Farrar. Very good. Fitzhew. Good! I should say so — eighteen cents for a box like this. Will you have a drink? {Crosses l. c.) THE MAN FROM MEXICO. 71, Farrar. I don't mind — won't you join me? {Rises, crosses r. c.) FiTZHEW. Fll show you when you get through. {Bus. taking decanter, pouring one drink, filling glass) Good ? Farrar. Splendid. FiTZHEw. {Bus. holding decanter and glass) Here, take this. Not that, this. (Farrar takes decanter.) Farrar. What makes you so nervous? FiTZHEW. {Sitting) I stay in the house too much. Cook. {Enters l. back of window. Sees FiTZHEW is seated) Stand up! {Exits l.) FiTZHEw. {Bus. places glass on table, goes to windozt') That's that boy of mine — he's always joking. Go away from there and keep away. {Bus. lockstcp comes down-stage) Farrar. What is the matter with your foot? FiTZHEW. Fm breaking these shoes in for a friend of mine. {Goes to table c, sits L. of table) Farrar. {Sits) Now, sir, would you mind giv- ing me a bit of advice? FiTZHEW. Certainly not. That's about all I can give you here. Farrar. I am in love with a beautiful young girl, but she's engaged to another. Now what would you do? FiTZHEW. I don't know — who is the girl? Farrar. Your sister-in-law. FiTZHEW. Sallie? Farrar. Yes, sir. I want your consent to pay my addresses to her — Mr. John Martin — Benjamin Fitzhew. FiTZHEW. You call me " yy " please, and be kind enough to tell me what your name is ? Farrar. Edward Farrar. ■^2 THE MAN FROM MEXICO. FiTZHEW. Not the nephew of the District At- torney ? Farrar. (Pleased) Correct. FiTZHEW. Then you are the idiot who was going to fix this case of mine with that dizzy Uncle of yours? You have as much chance of winning my sister-in-law as a snowball in — well, you know the place. Farrar. (Rises) I tried to arrange everything — I did a" I I could. I left no stone unturned. FiTZHEW. You ought to see the pile I've cracked since then. Farrar. Then you refuse? FiTZHEW. Twice! Farrar. Then I will throw myself at her feet. FiTZHEW. I don't care where you throw your- self. Farrar. (Goes up-stage then crosses l. c.) I will plead with your wife. FiTZHEW. (Rises) Remember, if*you*see my wife I am in Mexico — you understand? Farrar. Oh, yes. FiTZHEW. Great country this, 'Mexico. Full of bananas and Mexicans. Farrar. How long are you going to^stay? FiTZHEW. I'm going to stay here 'until my ^O -o/ ^^ % -> -J^^^* <&' <1^ '••• .^^^ ... ^ ^ A. ^9. v^ •*^ ^.^ It \.** s*'"^. »• • .40*v HECKMAN IXI BINDERY INC. |s| /^ DEC 88 #jS# N. MANCHESTER, ^^^ INDIANA 46962 - ^ ''^